Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/1288549. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Homestuck Relationship: Bro/John_Egbert Character: Bro_(Homestuck), John_Egbert Additional Tags: Underage_Sex, Age_Difference, Mildly_Dubious_Consent, Post-Sburb Stats: Published: 2014-03-09 Words: 2888 ****** Boy Butter ****** by pfaugh Summary Dave invites John over and gives him the standard warnings about Bro. John predictably does not heed them. "Okay, but be careful when you're walking around on your own. You never know what traps my Bro set out- actually, you probably shouldn't go anywhere without me accompanying you. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan, minimize all future lawsuits and potential Child Protection Services investigations." "I know, Dave." "Not even the kitchen is safe- especially the kitchen. Under no circumstances are you to open the fridge, got it? I'm doing this because I care, and-" "Aww." "-shut up. Anyway, like I was saying, I'm doing this for your protection. You have no idea what a battle-zone it's like inside my place. Constantly being on the lookout, never knowing when you're going to walk in on a puppet pegging demonstration, never knowing when the next puppet's ass is about to batter you with its foamy, soft-" "Okay, Dave." "Dude, you're not getting it." "I get it just fine, doofus!" John grins and elbows Dave playfully before draping an arm over his shoulders. "You really love your Bro, and you are really nervous that I won't like him. I am sure it will be fine! I have already accepted that your Bro is a weird nerdy porn star who raps sometimes. Now let's go already. I think all your worrying made my butt go numb." xxx It takes Dave approximately ten minutes to return home from school. Twenty at most with the introduction of a new variable: traffic, stopping for fast food, conversing with peers, or conversing with instructors. Today, Bro had been informed that someone would be joining them for the evening. A sleepover involving a night of video games and undescribed internet activities. A request short of begging to be on his best behavior accompanied the notice, to which Bro responded with a projectile smuppet. But he complied while Dave was away during the day. He stocked the fridge with food, removed all weaponry, and de-activated the various smuppet traps around the apartment. That was two hours ago. Now, he steps out of the shower, the steam disappearing into the cool hallway. He stretches and makes his way to his futon, pulling on underwear when a pair of voices, amiable and teasing, echo in the stairwell. It takes a second to debate scrambling to put on proper clothing, but with a smirk he decides against it. He leans against the frame of his futon, waiting patiently as the door opens and the conversation filters in. "Yo, Bro, I'm hom- fuck." Dave groans and attempts to shove his friend - John Egbert, only son of a single father, originally from Seattle, Washington with above-average grades - right back out the door. "Hello, Mr. Strider!" John, undissuaded, squeezes his way in and immediately shuts the door, his eyes rolling and elbow prodding into Dave. "Thanks for letting me stay over." A nod, and Bro pays only half-attention to John's cheerful introduction, his interest grounded in the guy's appearance. His broad shoulders start off a sharp taper into narrow hips, and the loose t-shirt doesn't hide his well- defined muscles. If he recalls, John's school record lists shot-put and racquetball among his extracurricular activities. His hair is unkempt, a mess of black cowlicks framing a squared face and bright blues. And to top it all off, the kid's got a fucking incredible overbite. He hopes to god if Dave plans on shacking up with this kid, he's never on the receiving end of a blowjob. The assessment concludes that having good taste runs in the Strider blood. The Egbert kid seems mostly chipper, a friendly kinda guy who gives second chances and benefits of the doubt. Cute-like. "Just keep the noise down- some of us got jobs to keep." Bro turns on his heel and settles at his computer, watching from the corner of his eye as Dave and John scurry down to Dave's room. The door shuts loudly behind them, and he sighs. Well, coding ain't gonna work itself. xxx It's night, well after Dave and John snuck into the kitchen to fix up a giant plate of bagel bites. Bro clicks off the lamp and shuts off the desktop monitor. A few quick steps, and Lil Cal appears on the futon. He sighs and yawns and stretches before tossing off the t-shirt he'd put on a few hours of coding and payment processing later. He folds his shades and sinks onto the flimsy futon mattress, a moment away from sleeping when the soft creek of a door stutters into the sleepy silence. A dark silhouette - John, judging from the width and utter lack of finesse - ambles into the kitchen. There's a bump and a curse, the light of the refrigerator swathing into the living room. Bro gets up and flashsteps into the kitchen, standing right behind John in time for the other to turn around. "Oh, hey Mr. Strider." John smiles as he holds up a soda can. "Sorry, did I wake you?" He raises an eyebrow. Well, that certainly wasn't the reaction he was expecting. He shakes his head in response, stepping back to allow the other his personal space. "Get some sleep. Don't fuck up your sleeping schedule- and put that soda down unless you wanna stay up all night. Shit, kids these days." He gives a wave of goodnight and turns to head toward his futon. "Wait!" John grips Bro's wrist and tugs him back with a considerable amount of strength. Bro looks back curiously, though his expression remains blank. "I, uh. So, the weather's nice?" Bro stares. "Texas is a lot warmer than Washington. Kind of uncomfortably warmer. It is even too hot in the winter, and-" Bro tugs at his wrist, forcing John to tumble into his chest. He smirks. If the kid wants to play this game, sure. He'll play along. "You flirting with me, Egbert?" John's surprised expression sharpens to what looks to be a cheeky grin, and he straightens to his full height. He's just a little shorter but still taller than Bro expected. Bro takes a few steps back as John nudges him against the counter. He can recognize a trope when he sees one, but he'll allow it just the once to see where the hell John's going with all this. "So what if I am?" Bro rolls his eyes. The kid is forward, and he thinks it's kind of cute in a way, like a sitcom where the kid brother's friend has eyes for the handsome, striking older brother. Except there isn't an audience laugh track, just him and John Egbert against the kitchen counter. "Go back to the sandbox and play with other idiots your age." He scoots and slides away from the counter-John sandwich, flashstepping back toward the futon where Lil' Cal is as inviting as always. Cal's arms snake around his neck as he lays down, and he's just about to get his sleep on when a heavy weight crawls over his legs. And there's John Fucking Egbert, straddling his thighs like it isn't the middle of the night. Before he can say anything, there's John Fucking Egbert, swooping in for a kiss. No one can say that Bro didn't at least try to keep his drive under control. He kisses back with interest, hands immediately sliding down John's sides to scope out that ass. He gives an experimental squeeze - it's a bit bony and bare, not his usual - and earns himself a nice unashamed groan. Well, even with the lack of backside, he can appreciate a vocal partner. He thanks no deity in particular that this kid's voice has at least cracked the puberty veil. It makes the whole 'making out with your kid brother's kid best friend' thing a little less awkward. Still, all that unchecked moaning isn't going to work out well for either of them in this situation. Leaning up to John's ear, he grinds his hips upward very helpfully. "Might wanna quiet down there, junior, 'less you want Dave runnin' up in here and pissin' himself." John moans even louder, apparently deciding to completely ignore any word of warning. "I do not even care, dude, just do that again-" "Egbert, I'm gonna be softer than a carebear for the rest of the week if my kid walks in on me doing the deed with his best goddamn friend. You either tone it the fuck down or deal with a-" "Okay, okay! Geeeeez." John sighs and - Bro raises an eyebrow in interest - grabs hold of Bro's wrists, keeping a firm grip as he places kisses along Bro's jaw and neck. "You and Dave are definitely family, it is stupid how similar you are." John then rolls his hips downward, and Bro's detached lust suddenly became very real very fast. He's a bit limited, though, and readies himself for a classic flip-n-switch. Or he would, if Egbert didn't tighten his grip and hold his wrists against the futon, right by his head. Oh shit. That really gets the blood flowing, knocks his breathing off-kilter and for a moment he forgets about Dave. Bro grunts and grinds upward impatiently. There's a grin that highlights John's overbite, and it's so stupidly fucking hot. Bro tests John's grip, moves under John but damn the kid has weight and strength. He could probably escape if he really tried, but nah. He's pretty comfortable, especially when the kid starts kissing him so eagerly. (It takes him back years and years, when the record store still stood and big, rough hands grabbed at his naked hips with the aggression of a seasoned explorer. It takes him back to a furry upper lip and tales of grand adventure and one of the best goddamn orgasms he's ever had.) He bites back his disappointment when John finally lets go. He can't exactly complain when John's sliding down and tugging down his sweatpants. When John rolls his eyes at the sight, however, Bro smirks. It must have just slipped his mind to warn the other of his tendency to go commando. He's already half hard, and it's staring at John unabashedly. He relaxes and watches in appreciation as John tugs down his pajama bottoms and boxers. "Whoa- junior down there need his own bed at night? Fuckin' Christ." Bro sits up to investigate, hands reaching to wrap around John's fucking kahoona of a dick. Or he would have liked to, if John didn't shove him back down to tower over him once again. That was definitely starting to get annoying. Though he sometimes confused annoyance with arousal, he never really could tell. How, cute, Bro thinks as he brings their hips together, dicks flush and yielding. The kid's blushing. He wraps his hand around them, and almost immediately John moans and thrusts against him. Pleasure builds and hardens, and John has his head nested against his neck and shoulders. Bro keeps his grip firm but lets the other do all the work. Soon, way before they're due, John slows and bites at Bro's ear. "So, uh. Can I do the thing?" He's instantly suspicious. "What thing, kid? You wanna get me on my knees? Shove your fist down my mouth? Could break out the pony-" "No! Ugh, you are so gross." John sits up maneuvers around until he's in between Bro's legs. "I mean if I can, you know." A smirk. "No, kid, I sure don't." "You suck." "I damn well could, just say the magic word." "I wanna stick it in you! There, I said it. Are you happy? I said the thing that you knew all along, asshole. Aren't you supposed to be some kind of mega porn guru? I am disappointed." John hooks Bro's leg up and folds it back against Bro's chest. It's almost hilarious the way his eyes immediately look downward. "Ya sure you're disappointed, kid? You're looking mighty pleased from here. If you're looking to get in my pucker, hold up while I fetch my Boy Butter." Bro spreads his other leg invitingly, smirking as his sylladex produces a little tub. He pulls the lid open and sets it aside. It was never the most convenient packaging, but Bro gave it a solid review for creativity and novelty. "Been a while since I needed this, but it should still be good." John dips his fingers in the tub and rubs it between his fingers. His facial expressions tilt between interest and confusion, even as he scoops out more and appears to be restraining himself from outright sniffing it. Bro kicks him. "Get a move on, junior, before I change my mind and turn things around." "You are so impatient," John huffs. "I am just trying to get in the zone. I do not want to hurt you?" "You said it yourself, I'm a porn guru, ain't nothing you can do to hurt me. Just stick your fingers in my ass, and we can get a move on." "I am, uh. Kind of big!" "Seen bigger." "Still bigger than you." "Took bigger dry. Now do the goddamn thing before I-" Bro hisses as John, well. Does the thing - and he's starting to really wonder if this golden child has a habit of interrupting people or if it's just him. Instead of starting small, John shoves in three fingers at once. And while Bro may indeed be a porn guru who has had a few dicks in his life, it has been quite a while. Years. Not since Dave crash-landed on a horse. "Sorry!" Bro grabs John's wrist and keeps him there, knowing the other would probably withdraw from nerves. He takes a few deep breaths, quickly adjusting to the sharp pain and discomfort before turning sharp eyes to John. "If you're gonna do it, do it." Tension pulls between their gazes and snaps when John reaches deep, and Bro can feel him hooking his fingers and pressing against him. Soon enough, his cock's in deep and Bro's grunting and obviously trying to keep it down, teeth digging into John's shoulders. He thought he'd have to give a little direction, maybe encourage John a little with a few desperate movements. But the way John slams into him, hips moving strong and fast against his ass, Bro just lays back and takes what he's given. He wants to say things, incredibly dirty things to see just how flustered John can get. But the thought of Dave is always present, and he keeps his mouth shut. He can't say John's the most skillful he's ever had, but the underlying enthusiasm and narrowed focus made up for the lack. With a shuddering sigh, he turns his head to rest against Lil' Cal. He hates letting the little guy see him in these situations, but John was apparently too hungry for the ass to wait for him to set up the futon all nice and pretty for the occasion. "F-fuck," John stutters into his ear, and the feeling of fullness left him as John's thrusting shallowed. Bro braces his hands against John's back, taking in John's breathy 'oh my god's and withheld noises. He just can't resist. "Fill me up, kiddo, let it go." He figured John would be a sucker for emotional movie references, and he was right. John scrambles to cover his mouth as he releases, hips pressed against Bro, eyes squeezed shut before he collapses. And as much as Bro enjoys the feeling of a well-built man on top of him, he couldn't say the same for the slick of sweat and lube on his skin. He shoves John onto the floor and cringes as he gets up, careful not to get anything on the futon. "Whoa." He knows any teenaged boy would be fascinated with the sight of his own semen beading down another's thigh, but Bro doesn't care to make a show of it for now. He's got a shower calling his name and a boner to oversee. xxx "I do not know what you have been talking about all this time, Dave, your Bro is totally normal. Other than all the puppets everywhere, but it kind of reminds me of my dad's harlequins and other assorted tricksters. I did not even see a single sink full of fireworks anywhere! I think you are a liar." "No, dude, it was an illusion. Only actual cool and awesome-licensed people can see the ninja traps and hazards my Bro sets up all over the damn place. Seeing as you're an Egbert and not a Strider, you're not at risk. Also, fuck you, I've shown you pictures of the sink-fireworks and the subsequent puppet guro porn. See if I ever invite you over again." "What! Dave, don't be lame. I had a great time at your place! In fact, I am coming over next weekend, too, okay? Do you think your Bro will let us watch a movie in the living room? It is not the same watching things on the laptop." "I dunno, John. He may not want to watch your revered McOnohay trash." "It's McConaughey, and that is the last straw. I am divorcing you from Best Bro position." John shoves Dave into the lockers and laughs, his grin and teeth prominent as he continues on down the hall, ignoring Dave's complaints. "Hmm, I think I know of a pretty good way to convince him. "Wait, what?" Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!