Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13080627.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage
  Category:
      M/M, F/M
  Fandom:
      Oasis_(Band)
  Relationship:
      Liam_Gallagher/Noel_Gallagher
  Character:
      Liam_Gallagher_(Oasis), Noel_Gallagher, Peggy_Gallagher_(Oasis), Thomas
      Gallagher, Paul_Gallagher, Bonehead, Richard_Ashcroft, Robbie_Williams,
      Meg_Mathews, Patsy_Kensit
  Additional Tags:
      dark_fantasy_AU, Claddagh_Rings, Irish_Lore, victorian_area, This_is
      utter_and_complete_blaskiboo, Everybody_loves_dogs, Vulnerability,
      Brotherly_Love, Bonds, curse, Metaphor, Past_Child_Abuse, Sibling_Incest
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-12-20 Updated: 2018-03-29 Chapters: 8/20 Words: 40515
****** Bloodline ******
by Shouting_Star
Summary
     He's yours. Your brother. Your lover. And so much more. The road is
     long. On your way, you'll encounter many people, you'll find pain and
     you'll discover love. You'll get lost and found again. But nobody
     knows what lays at the end of your journey. Maybe death, maybe
     salvation. The most important thing is not the end it's how you get
     there. To reach your final destination you'll never be alone, that's
     all that matters.
Notes
     Now, I can say I've thought this story as thoroughly as I could and
     it has an actual plot.
***** Introduction: Only the Rings Know *****
[only the rings know]
 
Once upon a time, not so far from the city of Manchester rose an imposing
castle. People of the surrounding towns whispered that many secrets were hidden
behind its thick walls.  
Some said it all began when the Earl Thomas Gallagher acquired Castle Burnage.
The older inhabitants knew a few odd tales that took place in the fort even if
no one really knew where the rumours came from and who had witnessed the
events. Now, the Gallagher family only consisted in Thomas’ three children and
their mother Peggy. The earl had disappeared years ago and many assumed that he
was dead.  
Peggy had been blessed with three sons. Paul was the elder, Noel the second
born and Liam was the youngest. Despite being the first born, Paul gave up his
rights as heir of the family in favour of Noel. He had been leading a nomadic
life since then. The good people of Manchester had lots of theories about that
incident as well. Actually the very good and right minded people of Manchester
would be even more astounded by the truth. Even their craziest theories were
far from the reality.  
*** 
It was long after dusk. The cold night had veiled the land in back velvet.
There was only one room in the castle that was still lighted.  
The lonely candle burning on the desk wasn’t enough to dispel the darkness. The
golden sheen of two rings was shimmering in the gloom of the bedroom. The
jewels were identical and represented a heart held by two hands and topped by a
crown. In the Irish tradition it symbolized love, friendship and loyalty. The
rings belonged to Noel and Liam.  
In the dark, there was nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed of.  
In the dark the true meaning of the rings was unveiled.  
In the dark, they were just two shadows breathing as one.  
Their fingers were intertwined and their lips sealed together. It was hard to
define where Noel began and where Liam ended. The younger was straddling his
brother’s thighs and embracing him. Noel’s arms were clasped around his little
brother’s naked body. His heart was beating against Liam’s heart. Every inch of
his skin was connecting with him.  
Liam broke the kiss and put his finger inside Noel’s mouth. “You need to feed.”
He said while revealing Noel’s teeth. He teased the gum until pointy fangs came
out. They were sharp and short and not too thick but it would still hurt when
Noel would bite Liam.  
The younger guided Noel’s head to the crock of his neck. The fangs broke the
skin and Liam began to bleed while Noel began to feed. The younger never ceased
to stroke his brother’s hair during all the time of the feeding. When the wound
stopped bleeding, Noel licked the skin clean and wiped his mouth.  
“Did it hurt?” he asked with concern  
“Not anymore.” Liam smiled.  
Noel kissed him, his tongue against Liam’s tongue, his hands in his hands
and his hard member brushing against his soft skin. Moans from both of them
filled the room.  
The weak light of the candle died as it was swallowed by the melted wax. In
complete darkness blood mixed blood. Brothers were lovers.  
Soon the sun would rise and dispel the shadows of the night. And in the
morning, only the rings would know.  
 
 
***** Soaked in Blood *****
[Soaked_in_blood]
Many moons before
Once there was a blond boy running through the blond  wheat . He was calling
after his brother. The long grass was whipping his bare legs. His calves were
striped with red lines and even blood where the sharp  weeds  had  grazed  the
 flesh.  However,  he didn’t care about  anything but running as fast as he
could.   
*** 
Thomas Gallagher had always been a mysterious man. One that smelled like danger
and darkness. Maybe it was what fascinated Peggy when she met him. They had
both Irish roots and he was charming. Soon, she heard the church’s bells
ringing and she was in white, not really knowing how it had happened and who
she married. 
Her white dress was put away in a chest and she moved to Castle Burnage. The
first days were bliss. They were all about laughers and promises of eternal
love. She wanted children, he wanted children as well.  
However, soon Thomas got sick and his skin turned as white as Peggy’s wedding
dress. With the weeks, he was getting weaker and weaker but he kept on
insisting that Peggy should get pregnant as soon as possible.  
Famous doctors came knocking at the heavy door of the castle. Despite their
erudite reasoning they couldn’t find what was wrong with Thomas.  
The master of Castle Burnage laughed at their incomprehensible jargon and kept
telling his wife that his malady was not a subject for science. 
However as he was getting thinner, Peggy’s belly was growing bigger each day.  
Nine months later Paul opened his eyes to the world. Thomas held the new-
born, fascinated by this little human being that was blood of his blood.
The infant was safely tucked in his wooden cradle. The next morning when Peggy
was feeding the baby she realised he had two little punctured wounds in his
neck. She brushed the bruised skin with perplexity. Baby Paul smiled to her and
gurgled happily. She forgot quickly about that minor incident, especially since
Thomas’ illness seemed to have vanished. A few months later, her belly was
growing again. 
The day Noel was born, Tommy was drunk. The first time he saw the baby, he
stepped back and refused to touch him. Peggy held her child tighter, scared by
her husband’s reaction. She could see the drunken haze in his eyes and she
realised it took more than a year to know someone. During the last months,
Tommy’s true face had been showing up. The scent of mystery had been replaced
by the smell of alcohol. There were nights he had a particular look in his eyes
and Peggy’s guts were screaming  that he was dangerous.  
Sometimes, she would find wounds on her sons’ skin, especially after Tommy had
been drinking. The same kind of wounds that she had seen on Paul’s neck the day
he was born. The first time she asked Tommy about the it, was also the first
time her skin was tattooed in blue. If her bruises healed, her mind didn’t.  
Peggy had considered running away many times, but she knew she couldn’t raise
the children alone. She had no money and no house of her own. The only thing
awaiting them if they left Thomas would be the filthy streets of
Manchester. They were trapped with him.  
When Noel started babbling his first words, Tommy spent less time in the
property. He would come back smelling like wine and cheap perfume. And he would
come hungry.  
One of those days, Peggy was comforting Noel after Tommy fed. The boy was
closing his eyes and curling into his mother’s arms. As Tommy was leaving the
room, she asked him what she had already asked numerous times. 
“Why are you doing this to them?” 
Once again, it seemed like he was never going to answer.  
Of course, Peggy had her own theories, she knew about vampire legends but Tommy
could walk in the sunlight, he even went to the church every now and then. She
also remembered that her mother had told her some Irish legends about blood
sucking demons. Sometimes, it made her shiver at night, not even knowing if the
person laying in bed next to her was human.  
She insisted, “please, tell me why.” 
The man turned back at her and wiped his mouth. He stared at her before losing
his balance and landing on the floor. Blood and whiskey had never been a good
cocktail. He broke the silence.  
“Have you ever heard of  Leanan Sidhe?” 
The name sounded familiar to Peggy’s ears. She was pretty sure she had heard it
during the long winters of her childhood when her parents were telling stories
about the Irish lore.  
“Isn’t that the name of a demon?” 
Thomas winced, “Actually” He paused, searching for words, “she is a fairy.”  
Peggy had stopped petting Noel’s head, she was focused on what Thomas was
saying.  
“.... She sucks the blood of her lovers and in exchange, she inspires them.” 
It was the first time that he gave Peggy an answer. However, it didn’t feel
like an answer to be told about some mythic creature that had nothing to do
with the world she lived in. “Are you saying you’re some kind of fairy?” Her
tone was quizzical.  
Tommy smiled showing his teeth tainted in pink. “No, no, no... I’m not a fairy
but I’m a descendant of Leanan.” 
Peggy was a very down to earth woman and it wasn’t the kind of explanation that
she wanted. She still tried to understand because she had nothing but that
fanciful justification for his crimes.  
“That Leanan, she fed on her lover, right? so why do you have to do that to the
children?” 
Tommy’s smile faded,  
“Actually... Actually...” He babbled in an inebriated voice, “it feels quite
liberating to talk to someone about it.”  
Peggy gritted her teeth, she was so angry she forgot to be scared, “Just answer
the bloody question!” 
The man scratched his head, “Alright, alright... You see, a human-fairy hybrid
isn’t a natural thing. Her children... And the descendant of her children –
yes, that’s me. We still have to feed on the original blood, the  blood of her
lover. That’s why we can only feed on family members...” Peggy had never seen
him that talkative, “I have that blood running through my veins, so does Noel,
so does Paul. But not everyone is affected by the family curse. You see... ” 
She interrupted him “You should just die!” and she left the room with Noel clad
against her chest.  
 
Later, Liam was conceived behind the locked door of the conjugal room. Peggy
spent her pregnancy worrying about the little life growing inside her. Paul and
Noel didn’t understand her distress but they were good little lads, the only
valuable thing in her life.  
She was watching the garden by the window of the restroom. The world outside
was so sunny and bright. She rubbed the bulge of her belly, she could feel the
baby inside. He was particularly agitated, more than Noel or Paul. She could
feel him kicking inside as if he was impatient to be born and walk this world.
As for Peggy, she wished she could keep him inside a little longer.  
Paul was playing on the ground with his toys. Tommy had given the two
boys a wonderful set of wooden animals. The carved figures would have probably
fitted better behind a vitrine rather than in a kid’s hand. They were
beautifully chiseled and painted. The eyes of the animals were made of
glass and gleamed with the appearance of life.  
The gift had come all of a sudden and for no reason. It wasn’t their
anniversary or even the Nativity. It was a day like any other. Peggy
suspected Thomas had just been a lucky gambler that day. To him, it was a
reason to celebrate more than any kid’s birthday. However, the children loved
the toys and treasured them.  They were unaware of the artistic value of the
small animals. It was only precious to them because it was the first gift
Thomas ever gave them.  
Paul had arranged the toys so that the hen was married with a wolf. Strangely
enough, he had decided that their children would be piglets. Even so, they were
probably a happier family than his own. Peggy had nothing to do to fill the
long and eerie days, so she knew a lot about the stories happening to the
little figurines. She had spent hours watching the boys play. Noel’s favourite
toy was the monkey that he always paired with the owl. Her youngest son was a
very calm child. In spite of his young age, he loved attending balls. For a
long time, Peggy had thought that he was fascinated by the luxurious dresses
and the beautiful ladies. She had realised it wasn’t the case when she found
the little boy sleeping under the piano after all the guests had left. He had
only come here in search of the music.  
 
Peggy heard light footsteps coming from the corridor. A little boy opened the
door and burst into the room. Noel’s hair were ruffled and his cheek were red
because he had run. He climbed on his mother’s lap and opened his small fist to
reveal the object of his hurry. It was a pink rock, an unusual stone that
was quite pretty. “That’s for you and the baby!” he said, still out of breath.
Peggy accepted his gift and kissed his forehead to thank him. His hair were
very soft under her palm and he smelled like cake and soap. The little boy bent
to put his ear on Peggy’s womb. “I want to know if the baby likes it too.” She
couldn’t help but smile to herself.  
“Do you hear something?” she asked. Noel nodded, keeping his ear against his
mother’s belly.  
“I dunno what it is but I hear something, it’s like...” Noel looked thoughtful
as he tried to describe the sound to his mother. “it’s like
“lub dub, lub dub”and it goes on like that”. Peggy smiled to him. He felt
secure, bathed in her loving gaze.  
“I think you’ve heard your little brother’s heart.” 
“or little sister!” 
Paul rose his head, suddenly interested in their conversation, “I don’t want a
little sister, girls are annoying!” Peggy laughed quietly, she was as close to
happiness as she could be, “It doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl.”  
Noel smiled brightly to her, “Yes, I already love him!” 
After years of this broken life, Peggy had found out that children were like
wild flowers. They could grow in the poorest soil or in a crack in a rock. They
could even bloom and show the beautiful colors of their souls. 
*** 
This summer had been the hottest in years. The sun had burnt the lands
surrounding Castle Burnage, even the trees showed the first signs of drought.
The edge of their leaves was scorched whereas the heart was still green. The
dry grass was painting the surroundings in shades of fallow. Summer had been
replaced by an untimely autumn.  
Four kids were resting under the shadow of an old oak, laying in the dry grass
and staring at the cloudless sky.  
Paul was chatting with their friend Sally who was the daughter of one of the
maids. They had grown up  together and the boys had always considered her as an
equal. However, that day she didn’t seemed to be completely at ease with them.
Moreover, Noel hadn’t utter a word since Sally had joined them under the
tree.  
Liam was nervously wriggling close to him. The kid was bored and waited for one
of his brothers to make a move. It seemed to him that they had been there for
hours. He rolled on his belly trying to find something to entertain him in the
grass. The busy ants  crawling on the ground were actually more of a
distraction than the empty sky. Liam tried to count them but he lost the track
after one minute.  
Next to him, Noel looked focused but his mind was drifting far away from the
soulless blue of that summer sky. Earlier, one of the maid had surprised Thomas
during one of his feeding sessions. Now, he couldn’t erase from his mind the
look of fear and disgust that the woman had shown. He hated that she had
witnessed what had always belonged to the darkness.  
He palpated the thin skin of his neck but the wound had already healed. He
didn’t know why but Thomas’ bites would heal faster on him than Paul.  
His train of thoughts was abruptly interrupted when Liam decided to poke his
ribs.  
“Hey Noely, I’m bored.” 
He pushed his little hand away,  
“Just ask Paul to entertain you.” 
Liam stuck his tongue out, and in spirit of contradiction he added: 
“Then I’m asking Sally. Na!”  
 
Liam knew that something was wrong with Noel. Their bond had always been
special. However, it was so natural that he didn’t realised how unusual it was
during the first years of his life. The youngest brother had always found it
easy to read Noel’s feelings. He thought it was some kind of magic working
between them. Sometimes he could even feel Noel’s emotions when he wasn’t
around. He remembered that time his brother had felt into a river and he had
sensed it as if he had been there, as if he had been Noel. An overwhelming fear
had swamped him and he had sensed his brother was in danger. According to
Peggy, he had blacked out for a few minutes. When Liam had come to his sense
again, he had also known Noel was safe, he had been able to feel his relief as
he had been pulled out of the water.  
Thus, he knew something was wrong with Noel but he didn’t know what to do about
it. He thought it might be related to their old man. He was feeding more and
more. His hunger was insatiable. It didn’t seem to be a mater of survival
anymore but a matter of gluttony.  
 
“Hey Sally, tell me a story.” Whined the blond kid. The girl startled and began
to giggle nervously.  
“What’s wrong ? You’re all weird today! ” he said in an irritated voice.  
All of a sudden, Sally’s eyes were filled with tears. Paul bent towards his
little brother and whispered “Congratulations, you’re not even ten and you made
your first girl cry!” The blond boy shoved his brother away. Mainly, because he
hadn’t understood what was fun about it.  
His tone softened when he came back to Sally.  
“Why are you crying? ”  
It seemed that the girl would never stop shaking. In the corner of his eyes,
Liam could see that Noel had turned even paler and his mouth was twisted with
revulsion.  
When Sally finally found the strength to talk, her voice was very low and it
seemed like she was about to cry again.  
“My mom, she told horrible things about your dad.” Her eyes were lost as if her
young mind was trying to grasp a concept that was never meant for children to
understand.  
Time froze. Paul looked away. Noel bit the inside of his cheek. Liam curled his
small fist into a ball.  
“What else did she tell?” 
Sally sensed the tension in the air and she regretted answering Liam.  
“Nothing really.” At the same time, all the words her mother said came back at
her. She was talking to Sally’s father but the little girl had figured out most
of the conversation. Monster. Sinful. Unnatural. Evil. Heretic. After all the
bad words, her mother had made the sign of cross and it was the end of the
discussion.  
When Noel looked through Sally’s lying eyes, the shock of being discovered hit
him again like a furious wave. His heart was drowning. He wasn’t strong enough
to see another time the disgust in someone else’s eyes. He stood up and left
without a word. Liam tried to hold him back but he couldn’t. The little boy
only grabbed the wind. Noel was already down the hill before they could even
realised what had happened.  
“Noooooel, cooome back” Liam shouted. The only answer was the echo of his own
voice. The shadow of his brother was getting further and further away until he
was only a black dot close to the castle.  
*** 
Noel was still shaking when he  reached the door. He was reviewing in his mind
all the places he could hide in, but there was none that Liam didn’t know. It
wasn’t as if he wanted the kid to follow him but he was always around like an
annoying puppy.  
He finally went for the maze of hedges. It was the loneliest place in the
domain. No one ever got in  except for the kids.  
It felt like entering a new world. Everything was quieter inside and appeasing.
The hedges had lacked of upkeep so there were little branches poking
everywhere. The paths of the original maze were half erased but Mother Nature
had drawn new ones. Smaller, wilder trails that were probably only meant for
children to discover. Even the light couldn’t completely pierce through the
thick verdure. Dry twigs cracked under his feet as the green bubble closed
around him.  
He knew approximately his way to get to the center of the labyrinth. He avoided
the main paths, going instead for secret byways that were more holes between
the hedges than actual paths. The little branches grazed his skin and his hair
was tangled with small leaves but he felt safe in the green sanctuary.  
The center of the maze was a round space with a fountain and an old wooden
bench. If you looked carefully you could see that the fountain was carved with
eroded symbols. The sun and the moon were chasing each other on its side. The
dark stone was cobbled with stars. Once it was probably a beautiful piece of
art but time had gnawed on the carvings and covered it with moss. The ground
was cobbled with grey and sooth stones. A rosebush was lazily blooming over the
bench Noel was sat on. The boy tucked his knees to his chest and listened to
the fountain gurgling peacefully. He let his mind get lost in the sky reflected
in the water. All that pure blue reminded him of how dirty he was. He felt
ashamed. The rational part of his mind knew that he shouldn’t because it wasn’t
his fault. However the irrational part couldn’t blame his father. Thomas never
seemed ashamed so it had to be Noel’s fault. Something must have been wrong
with him.  
Sometimes, when Thomas was really drunk, he would tell Noel they were the same.
And many other things. Disturbing thoughts that kept swirling in Noel’s head
long after the Earl was sated.  
He wasn’t feeding on Liam. Never. He said the kid was special. He said he was
for Noel. And the hurricane of feelings kept dancing in Noel’s mind. So he
wasn’t special. He was like his father. And why would Liam be for him? He
didn’t understand.  
Sunset. The birds had stopped chirping. As the light was drowning into the
earth, Noel shivered. He shouldn’t have stayed here so long. His mother was
probably worried. He heard footsteps coming closer. At first, he thought it was
her as if she could magically pop up just because he was
thinking about her. However, the footsteps were too heavy and the dark
silhouette that had emerged from the shadows was too broad. 
No, no, no.   
He looked around but it was too dark now to find the discreet path that had
lead him there.  
No escape.   
He rolled into a ball and took a silent breath. He tried to disconnect his mind
from the reality. And let the monster come.  
*** 
Liam was at the dinner table. He was angrily chewing a broccoli as he stared at
the empty chair in front of him. He had spent the end of the afternoon
searching for Noel but he couldn’t find him. He was so fed up to be powerless.
He felt like a shadow, unable to touch or sooth what was happening in the real
world. It didn’t matter how much he cried or begged for it to stop but Thomas
was never listening and Noel was never talking. He still felt his pain through
their bond. 
He ate another spoonful of broccoli with disgust.  
At the other end of the table Peggy was looking anxious. She was worried sick
about Noel. It wasn’t the first time he skipped dinner but she couldn’t shake
the feeling that something terrible was going to happen. She had come across
Thomas and after many years living with him she had learnt how to read him.
Tonight, he had a dangerous gleam in his eyes.  
Without any warning, Liam faltered on his chair before falling to the ground.
Peggy screamed and rushed on him. He was pale and limp as a ragdoll. She took
him in her arms and rocked him as if he was still a small infant. He was
breathing quickly and shaking. His eyes were close but she noticed that he was
silently weeping.  
Suddenly everything went black in Liam’s mind. He felt like floating in the
water. Everything was dark and calm as the bottom of the ocean. Then, an
electric shock surged through his body bringing with it a destructive tide of
emotions. Those feelings weren’t his, he knew they were Noel’s. An overwhelming
fear took over him. It hit him so hard that he couldn’t even think clearly. A
red lightening tore the dark apart and for the first time, it wasn’t only
feelings that Liam received. An image flashed before his eyes. He saw the moon
reflected in the water. Red petals were swirling around. His skin – Noel’s skin
– was also covered with red petals.  The vision stopped as brutally as it had
happened. Everything went black and calm anew. Liam felt like he was being
pulled back from wherever he was.  
He was in his body again. His cheeks were damp with tears and his legs giddy.
He had been unconscious for a while. He wasn’t in the dining room anymore.
Someone had carried him to a sofa. Peggy took the little boy in her arms. He
wanted to stay there and cry. He was so scared. However, he was sure Noel was
in great danger so he fought back the tears and ignore the lump in his
throat.  
He didn’t even try to explain what he had seen to his mother. He jumped on his
feet and rushed outside. Peggy was shouting him something but he didn’t
understand. His legs were still shaking but he ran as fast as he could. The
blond weeds were whipping his calves and his lungs were burning. Fortunately
his vision had given him Noel’s location. He had seen the sun and the moon
chasing each other just like the symbols on the fountain at the centre of the
maze.  
The night was scary, the dark too dark and the moon was veiled with clouds. He
called his brother’s name but there was no answer. Maybe he was too late. He
had this ugly word that kept drumming into his head. Dead, dead, dead. He knew
what dead was. It meant never coming back. Never smiling again or laughing. It
meant no more tears or shared joy. And it scared him more than anything.  
However as he got closer, he became sure that Noel was alive. He could feel how
their bond was quivering. Throbbing stronger with each step, dancing wildly
between their two hearts.  
He was breathless when he reached the centre of the labyrinth. There was a dark
shape resting on the ground. Liam got closer carefully until he recognised
Noel. His heart missed a beat and he pounced on his brother, holding his face
between his small hands.  
“Are you okay, Noely? Talk to me, answer me!” 
Finally the older boy blinked. However, he didn’t seem to recognise Liam. Two
buttons of his shirt had been ripped off and the younger brother realised with
horror that there were no petals on Noel’s skin because all the red was blood.
He couldn’t bear the sight so he closed his eyes and buried his head against
his brother’s chest. The older boy was barely breathing. It was a miracle that
he was still alive.  
Liam’s tears mixed with the blood. He couldn’t stop crying. In the end, Noel
seemed to come back from his nightmare. Unlike Liam, he had no tears and no
feelings. He really thought this time he would die. He could still feel Thomas’
slippery hands grabbing and devouring eagerly. He remembered how he had torn
his skin and avidly drank his life. He was the most evil man that had ever
walked this earth. The time it lasted, he had locked himself in his mind,
wishing he couldn’t feel a thing anymore. But he could still feel. Feel Liam’s
small and warm body over his chest and how the kid was sobbing – crying for the
both of them. So he passed an arm around Liam, he wanted to reassure him but it
seemed that he couldn’t talk. His voice was gone. He embraced Liam until his
sobs spaced out. It didn’t even came to their minds that they should
have brought an adult here. When Noel finally found the strength to stand
up, some of his wounds were already healed. He dragged himself to the fountain
and washed his skin until the water was tainted.  
When Liam asked what had happened, Noel could only stutter. His speech was
halting, as if the words were too big and had stayed stuck in his throat. He
didn’t really felt like talking about it anyway. Liam seemed to understand.
They made slowly their way back home.  
When they pushed the heavy front door, motherly arms were there to embrace and
comfort them. The bloody shirt was thrown away, the wounds healed and Thomas
never came back. 
 
***** The Phonograph *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Autumn had unwound her ginger tresses over the land. The nights
were cold and the days shone with the last sparkles of summer. The old oak had
been struck during a storm two years ago. The boys from yesterday weren’t
children anymore.  
*** 
“You look like a highwayman.” Whinged Peggy as she ran a hand
through Liam’s short hair. He had cut it close to the scalp, more than a noble
child should ever cut his hair.  
Liam didn’t even bother answering. He had reach the point where every
boy becomes a rebellious young man. 
“Leave him alone, mam. He’ll let it grow again when he’ll realise he looks like
a clown.” Shouted Noel from the other side of the room.  
“Shut up, Noely!”spoke the teenager with indignation. “I’d rather be bald than
having stupid hair like you, na.” 
“You don’t need stupid hair to look stupid.” 
Peggy sighed. The boys were exhausting on a daily basis. Her youngest son
was pouting  
 “You can’t be mean to me, today.” he complained.  
“And why’s that? Just because you, little brat, you are fifteen today?” 
Far from being impressed, Liam got closer to Noel and closer until it felt
almost uncomfortable. The kind of closeness that means aggressivity to a
stranger but means love and teasing to a sibling.  
“Yes. What present did you get me?” 
Noel took a step back.  He felt like he was on fire when the kid was that
close. 
“Can’t tell you. It wouldn’t be a surprise if you knew. Maybe I got you
nothing.” 
“You’re a liar. Sally told me you got something special for me.” 
Noel winked and smiled. “It’s a secret.” Then he added, “I’m off to town, now.
See you tonight.”  
He was about to leave when Liam pecked a quick kiss on his cheek. “Don’t be
late at the party.”  
The touch was very light and innocent yet a wave of desire awoken in his loins.
It didn’t matter how much he tried to control it. He stepped backwards to
prevent any further affection.  
Liam was acting casually but his body couldn’t lie. From calm and steady, his
heartbeat had shifted to quick and jerky. They looked into each other’s eyes
for a split second, aware that far from meaningless, that simple, brotherly
gesture had a deeper signification.  
 
***  
The inside of Noel’s wardrobe had been spilled over his bed. Most of those
clothes were comfortable and meant to be worn around the domain.  They
consisted in white linen shirts and pantaloons like the ones Noel was wearing
everyday. Some of it was reserved for special occasions. Then, linen was
replaced by silk or even fur. The colors were brighter, the fabrics soother.  
“What should I wear?” Noel asked to another man who was sitting by the
window. He had dark hair cut over the shoulders. He was neither handsome nor
ugly but he was charming in his own way. His clothes showed he wasn’t from the
same social class.  Clint was a shepherd. Noel had met him several times in
the vast fields around the domain. It seemed all natural when
they started talking and became friends.  
Peggy had raised her boys to treat equally all the human beings. Often, Sally,
a maid’s daughter, would sit at the same table as the masters of Castle
Burnage. Thus, considering his upbringing, it wasn’t  surprising
that Noel was close to a lowly shepherd.  
“I like this one” Clint said pointing at a light blue
shirt with white lace. Obediently, Noel changed his daily clothing for the one
Clint wanted. As he undressed, the shepherd scrutinized Noel’s body. He loved
his pale skin and his slender waist. He recalled how soft and warm the lord of
Burnage was in his arms. He was always so eager.  
As Noel was buttoning up his shirt, Clint stopped him, “I think we have the
time to have a little fun before going downtown.” Noel snapped his
hand quickly, “Not now.” He didn’t want to give into the shepherd’s desire when
Liam was that close. It made him feel uncomfortable and a bit guilty.  
*** 
The two men had taken a carriage to get to the closest big city,
Manchester. The purpose of this jaunt was to retrieve Liam’s birthday present.
It was a very rare and expensive item that Noel had imported from the States.  
The carriage left them in front of a shabby shop, stuck between two
houses. The sign said “Exotic items from overseas”. The vitrine
displayed strange objects, things that Clint had never seen before. He could
only try to guess what their function was. There were musical instruments but
he had no clue how to play them. Insects frozen in amber were laying next
to colorful crystals and Indian dream-catchers. A marvellous feather dress was
hanging beside what seemed to be a Japanese ceremonial gown. Everything was
appealing and new to the shepherd’s eyes. Clint wanted to ask Noel
about that strange collection but he was already in.  
The inside was as extraordinary as the vitrine. The shop wasn’t big but all the
shelves were full exotic objects. A small sculpture was resting on dusty old
books that looked like grimoires. There wasn’t only occidental books,
there were also papyruses covered with indecipherable signs and scrolls
written in what was probably Chinese. A shelf was full of jars filled
with colorful powders precisely labelled: saffron, cumin, pepper and other
spices.  Clint wanted to see and touch everything but Noel was already talking
with the manager.  
“Did you receive the object we talked about?”  
The man was addressing Noel with deference. He looked surprised when he
realised the earl was accompanied by a humble shepherd but he didn’t comment.  
“Yes, sir. Follow me and I’ll show you.” 
The man led them to the back shop, “it arrived yesterday, sir. That phonograph
is one exceptional item!” he was proudly showing them the object. Clint had
never seen anything like it. It was a wooden box topped with what seemed to be
a horn. There was also a place meant to receive a cylinder. Clint looked at
Noel, puzzled. The young earl was fascinated.  
“That’s not how I imagined it. Can we try it” 
The manager nodded and placed a wax cylinder inside before turning a crank on
the side of the object. When he finally let go, the phonograph began to pulsate
as if it was alive. A sound came out from its horn and soon it was as if a
whole orchestra was playing in the room!  
Noel’s eyes were gleaming with excitement and he was smiling like a
child. “Liam is going to love it...” he whispered to himself.  
A blond woman appeared at the doorframe. She was graceful as a swan and
moved with flowing movement. With her long blond braid and her pale
skin, she looked like she had just escaped from a fairy-tale book.  
The manager introduced her proudly. “This is my wife, Patsy.” 
Noel kissed her hand courteously. “it’s an honour to meet such a beautiful
woman.” 
Clint snorted silently. As if that queer liked anything but dicks.  
The woman bowed her head as a mark of respect for Noel’s social status. “I’ve
heard about you, sir. You’re the one who made my husband ran to the States to
get this phonograph.” 
Noel chuckled lightly. “It’s for my little brother’s birthday, you see.”  
The woman smiled gently, “That young man seems to be very close to your
heart.”  
Noel blushed slightly, “Not that much really. He’s just my brother.” 
“Stop bothering the Earl, Patsy.” Said the manager with indignation. “I’m
sorry, my wife is certainly too chatty.”  
Noel gestured him that he didn’t mind. After another string of obsequious
apologies, Clint and Noel were out of the shop. The phonograph was laid on
the seat of the carriage and the two men made their way back to the castle.  
 
*** 
The whole personnel of the castle had been working hard to make this
day perfect. The ballroom was decorated with ribbons in all
the colors. A gargantuan buffet was waiting for the guests. Peggy had invited
all the local nobility. A swarm of young ladies were gathered around Liam
and also some men. Noel was watching from a corner of the room. He had never
been as good as Liam to blend in. Sally was with him, she didn’t feel like
socialising with the upper class. She had a small object wrapped in a
foulard in her hand. Noel had guessed it was for Liam. She tugged at his
sleeve.  
“Instead of watching you should just go see your brother. He has been annoying
me with the special gift you’re supposed to give him all day... Didn’t even ask
if I had something for him. Twat.” 
Noel smirked. He sure liked her outspokenness.  
“If he was that impatient, I’ll just have to wait for him to
come by himself.”  
He heard Sally sighing the words “manipulative cunt”. She patted him in
the back, earning a reproving gaze from some of the guests. Then,
she walked straight in Liam’s direction, cutting through the small
group gathered around him. Noel strained his eyes to see what Sally was
doing. She was giving Liam his gift. The young man smiled with perplexity when
he unwrapped it. In the distance, it looked like it was a book. Then Liam put
the foulard that was covering the gift around his neck. Noel thought he liked
it better than the book itself. He hugged Sally tight and kissed her on both
cheeks as a thank you. Some of the young ladies looked at her with jealousy.
It was probably the first time in their life they envied a girl from the lower
cast.  
Sally kept chatting with Liam until he left his admirers to come to Noel. Maybe
it was because it was his birthday but it hit the older how his little brother
had changed over a short time.  He was now taller than him. His
voice had lost his childish tone to become this full, manly voice. His shoulder
were broader and everything about his body said that he wasn’t a kid anymore.
However, his expressions betrayed the child inside him. When he looked at Noel,
he still had his boyish blue gaze and his candid smile.  
As Liam came closer, his heart pounded stronger in his chest but his face
remained unreadable. He smirked briefly before talking.  
“Sally told me you didn’t dare to come talking to me because you were afraid of
the ladies over there...”  
“That girl is a fucking pest!” he commented, half amused half annoyed.  
Liam laughed quietly. “Now, tell me where my present is!” his eyes were
gleaming with excitement. For a second Noel feared he would be disappointed by
the phonograph. He wanted to make this day special for his brother.  
“I had it taken up to your room.”  
The youngest almost jumped with impatience. “Tell me Noely, is it that big?
What is it? What is it?” 
Noel refused to answer, secretly happy to take him away from his anniversary
party.  
Peggy gave them an annoyed glance when she realised Noel was escorting his
younger brother out of the ballroom.  
As they climbed up the stairs Liam was clinging to his arm and happily
chatting. It felt so natural that it hurt.  
Liam pushed the door leaf with so much enthusiasm he sent it slamming against
the wall. The phonograph‘s shape was oddly emerging from the shadows of the
room. Liam opened the curtains and bent over the strange object with curiosity.
“What’s it supposed to be?”  
“I’ll show you.” Noel reproduced cautiously the movements the merchant had
showed him. He placed the wax cylinder and turned the crank. The music filled
the room. Liam looked like he needed time to process before he understood. He
clapped once he got over his surprise.  
“How does it even work?” Noel shrugged, “Don’t ask. I have no idea but it’s
working.” 
“Is there more songs or is it just this one?” questioned Liam impatiently.
“It’s anything you want.” Noel waved toward Liam’s commode where there were
more cylinders waiting to be heard. “I have already made your favourite songs
engraved in the wax.”  
Liam’s smile became even broader. “Thank you, Noely. I love it.”  
The older felt really proud of himself for making his sibling happy. Liam had
even watery eyes. “Are you alright, kid?”. He wiped his eyes. “ ‘ course,
I’m fine.” Liam sat on the bed, “I don’t want to go back downstairs. I don’t
even know half of those people.” 
Noel wondered if he should insist that they go back or just let go and stay
there. Liam had the ability to make him weak and undecided. Finally, he took
place beside his brother. The phonograph was quietly playing the song  I Am
Resurrected from the Stoned Roses, a local band that they both loved. Noel
broke the silence first.  
“What was Sally’s gift?” 
Liam lent his brother the book the girl gave him. Its cover was blue with
the white shape of a bird that looked like it was about to tweet. Noel opened
it, all the pages inside were blank.  
“She said that it’s a diary. Fuck that, I’m not some girl who needs to write
down whatever shit’s going on.” Noel gave it back to Liam and he shoved it in a
drawer of his night table. He pulled out two bottles of wine from the bottom of
the furniture.  
“Good one, our kid.” commented Noel. Liam smiled mischievously. He took
the first sip and licked his lips with a sigh of satisfaction. Then, he handed
it to Noel.  
The phonograph kept crackling until both of the bottles were empty. The boys
were sprawled on the bed. Noel turned to face Liam, propping his head in his
hands.  
“You know at the shop, there was this beautiful gown. The merchant told me it
belonged to a Geisha. I thought I could have bought it for you.” He received a
pillow in his face and Liam growled “daft cunt”.  Noel laughed quietly and 
closed his eyes. It was  good to be with his brother and to feel his quiet
heartbeat next to him.  
His ideas were clouded by the alcohol and without actually realising it, he
started talking. He couldn’t hold back his words anymore, they were slipping
from his mouth like sand in his hands.  
“You remember when you told me you could sense my feelings?” he paused briefly,
“I didn’t believe you. Well, now I do.” He turned towards Liam, waiting for his
reaction. The teenager was quiet but he looked very interested. Noel felt
compelled to keep talking.  
“I can hear your heartbeat.” He blurted.  
Liam looked puzzled, “What d’ you mean?” Noel gulped nervously, he had made
this revelation without thinking and now he realised it was a slippery slope.  
“Just what I said, I can hear your heartbeat as long as you’re close enough. So
I thought about what you told me, that you could sense my emotions. It doesn’t
seem that crazy, now.”  
Liam avoided looking in Noel’s eyes. He had something very important to say but
he was scared that Noel would laughed at him. “I think there is a special bond
between us,” he breathed deeply, “I don’t know what kind of cosmic shit it is
but I can feel it. Sometimes, I know you feel it too. Fuck, I feel stupid
saying that.” 
Noel had rarely heard Liam’s heart beating  so fast. He didn’t say a word but
he could feel it too. The Pull.  
Actually, it has been a while since he started feeling it. It began when he hit
puberty. At first, he didn’t know what to do about it. His brother was just a
kid but he needed him like the sky needs the sun. As he grew older, The Pull
became stronger and in some way, he finally understood his old man’s
words. Liam is yours. That’s what every fibre of his being was screaming.
However, he was scared, that’s why he drifted away from Liam and started his
relationship with Clint. The shepherd gave him what his body needed, taught him
a lot more and he was alright for a while.  
It was hard to desire Liam, but now it was even harder to resist because he had
understood it was reciprocal.  
A tiny part of himself was still trying to resist The Pull and screaming that
it was utter madness. The other part was just tired of fighting. His education,
his religion, everything that had been holding him back now seemed futile. 
He got closer to Liam’s face until their noses were almost touching and he
could feel his brother’s warm breath. The teenager was shivering, his heart was
beating too fast and his breath was too quick. Noel made slowly contact with
Liam’s lips. It crossed his mind that it was maybe his brother’s first
kiss. His mouth was very soft and it felt right in ways he couldn’t explain.  
Liam was bewildered but soon he was overwhelmed by Noel’s feelings. He could
sense his brother’s emotions breaking against his own like a wave breaking
against the shore. It was much more powerful than anything he had experienced
before. Both of their emotions were blending together like colors on
a painter’s palette. Liam wasn’t sure anymore what was
Noel’s color and what was his so he kissed his brother’s back. He parted his
lips for him and let him thrust his tongue inside his mouth. He had very little
idea of what he was doing but his body seemed to already know what he needed to
do. His fingers were entangled in Noel’s hair and he was probably gripping him
too tight but he didn’t care. When Noel finally pulled out, Liam saw on his
face an expression he had never seen, and an unbridled desire was gleaming in
his eyes. For one split second, he didn’t recognised Noel and he wasn’t feeling
confident anymore about what he was doing. He had called upon him his brother’s
attentions in unpredictable ways. What he saw in Noel’s eyes was the beginning
of a dangerous path and he had no idea how far it would take them.  
Unaware of Liam’s thinking, Noel kissed the skin on his brother’s collarbone
and let his left hand wander to the younger’s crotch. As expected, Liam was
hard. He stroke him through the silky fabric of his breeches. The teenager
tilted his head back, breathing heavily. Noel’s desire was wildly pulsating in
his loins, stronger and hotter with each heartbeat. It seemed that he had
waited for this moment his whole life. Focused on his own desire, he didn’t
think twice before pulling off Liam’s breeches. The younger let him, he could
sense Noel’s experience was exceeding his own. He didn’t protest when the
older put his hands on his cock. It felt good anyway. Very good. More than
anything he had done with his own hands. So when Noel put two fingers inside
his mouths he sucked them eagerly, wondering how high his big brother would
take him. Noel rested his hands on each of Liam’s knees and gently made him
spread his legs. The younger looked away, he was suddenly feeling very shy. A
wave of anxiety was rising in his chest. He wondered what Noel was up to. He
felt exposed and his own lack of experience wasn’t arousing anymore. Then Noel
did something really odd, that Liam didn’t expected. He tried to push
his two wet fingers inside Liam’s hole. The intrusion made him panic. He
clenched in reaction and pushed Noel away with both his hands on his chest.
“The fuck are you doing?” the words resonated like a gunshot.  
Noel jumped back. His face showed incomprehension before it was swamped by
shock and shame. Liam could see him breaking inside. He became as
expressionless as a statue and stormed out of the room without a word. The
tears were clouding his vision. He stopped halfway through the stairs. He
couldn’t breathe. His heart and his head were about explode. He had to sat down
because his legs were giddy . He was feeling miserable and broken as he
realised he had hurt the one he loved the most in unfixable ways.  
**** 
The brothers spent the next days trying to avoid each other. Noel went for long
walks in the woods with Clint. Liam locked himself in his room, only allowing
Sally to come in. Peggy was worried about them. Paul thought it was just like
any other fight they had had.  
 
Chapter End Notes
     I don't really know Clint so his personality is probably out of
     character
***** Opium *****
Since Liam’s birthday, Peggy knew that something was wrong with her two
youngest sons. She had seen all the signs like only a mother could. Noel wasn’t
looking at Liam in the eyes anymore. He was shying away from his little brother
and his shoulders hunched every time his sibling was in the same room. As for
Liam, he was acting casually but Peggy often caught him glancing at Noel when
he thought no one was watching.
Peggy had also noticed that Noel looked sick. He was very pale and she was sure
he had lost weight.
***
Once again, Noel was sneaking out of the castle with Clint. Once again, Liam
was spying from the window of his room, at the top of the tower. He had a clear
view on all the fields surrounding the old building and the forest further.
Almost every day, Noel slipped away with the shepherd. Liam gritted his teeth.
Since the incident his brother was running away from him. Liam had tried to
corner him several times to talk about it but Noel never let him.
“What’s up with you, Gallagher boys?” complained a feminine voice in the
background.
“Noel is a cunt. I got nothin’ else to say.”
Sally rolled her eyes, “You know you could just talk to each other if you have
a problem. That’s what we, common people, do.”
Liam snorted, Sally’s sarcasm wasn’t helping at all. “I wonder why he’s always
with that dick.”
“Who?”
“Clint.”
“You don’t even know the guy.”
“I know he looks as stupid as his sheep. Na.”
Sally shrugged, “Noel told me he was a smart bloke, very funny.”
“I am funny.” Whinged Liam. He flopped noisily on his bed. His gaze kept coming
back to the  phonograph. The object always brought back the vivid memories of
that night. After Noel had left, Liam had cried a lot. He wasn’t mad at his
brother, he had never been. He was just very confused about his feelings. Even
now, a few weeks after, he couldn’t explain what had happened. He only knew one
thing, he loved his brother and he was missing him a lot.
He touched the hollow of his neck. The sensation of Noel’s hands was still
lingering on his skin. His brother had left his print on his body, and
strangely, Liam found it soothing. He wondered if it was the same for Noel.
Liam straighten up on the bed. “Hey Sally what if we followed our kid?”
The girl pouted “Why’s that? If you want to know what he’s doing just ask him,
for God’s sake!”
Liam’s tone shifted quickly.
“He won’t talk to me!” He exclaimed painfully. Sally was surprised by Liam’s
genuine reaction. Sometimes, she forgot he was far from being as tough as he
wanted everyone to believe.
“Okay, we’ll do that, William. I don’t think it’s the right solution, though.”
Her answer still brought a small smile to Liam’s lips.
***
The pair of them ran down the stairs. Last time they checked from the window,
Noel and Clint were heading toward the gate.
Liam was really fast and it was difficult for Sally to keep up with her dress
hindering her. She was already out of breath before they even got out of the
castle. Liam slowed down for her but when they finally reached the gate, Noel
and Clint had already disappeared. The boy sighed with disappointment. “I guess
it’s not today, we’ll find them.”
Sally looked around, they were nowhere to be seen. The path that lead outside
of the domain, to the fields was desert. “Liam, what if they didn’t leave the
castle?” She showed him a grove of trees masking the old stables. “They could
be in there. At least, it’s worth checking it out, right?” Liam nodded.
The Gallaghers possessed only a few horses so most of the stalls were empty.
The bottom of the building was currently used to store the haystacks.
When they entered, Liam and Sally heard whispers coming from the back of the
barn. The teenager recognised the tone of his brother’s voice. They walked
stealthily until Noel and Clint were in sight. Then, both of them squat
silently, watching.
The two men were sitting on a small haystack. The light was  subdued and the
scene was barely visible. Once Liam’s eyes  adjusted to the dark, he realised
the two men were really intimate.
The shepherd was touching Noel in a way that left no doubts about the nature of
their relationship. They were talking too softly for Liam to understand but
when Noel laughed quietly, he couldn’t help but imagine all the sweet nothings
Clint was whispering to his brother’s ears. And it hurt.
Sally was feeling uneasy. She only wanted to run away and erase that moment
from her memory.
“Now that you know we should just go.” She said in a low voice.
“You go if you want, I’m staying.” Answered stubbornly the teenager. His eyes
remained riveted on the two men.
“Fine, suit yourself but I’m not staying to watch your brother being banged in
a haystack.”
Liam turned back to her. His face was a mix of emotions, he was shocked but
there was also something else she couldn’t quite pinpoint. If Noel and Liam
hadn’t been siblings, she would have thought it was jealousy.
“You really think they’re going to do it?” asked Liam.
“William, I do not want to know.” She separated the words as if he was stupid.
“For God’s sake! What’s wrong with you?”
Liam pouted, crossing his long legs in a gesture that could only mean that he
was staying. Sally rolled her eyes and silently went out.
Clint was now kissing Noel’s ear following his jawline. His brother’s cheeks
were flushed and his lips slightly parted. Liam kept watching but it was
painful.
Noel moaned almost silently. The teenager could have sworn it was the most
erotic sound he had ever heard.
“Don’t stop” Whispered Noel in a husky voice.
Obedient, Clint let his hands wander on Noel’s body. The shepherd’s fingers
were now slowly teasing his lover’s crotch through his clothes.
Liam gulped, it appeared more clearly to him that his feelings for Noel weren’t
as innocent as they were before.
Unaware of him, the two men were taking it a step further and Liam didn’t like
it the slightest bit. They were passionately kissing and Clint’s hand was now
inside Noel’s breeches.
Liam knew he was supposed to stay hidden but it had gotten too far. It wasn’t
so much the sloppy kisses nor Noel’s shameless moans that hurt him the most, it
was the way his brother looked at Clint, needy and passionate. The worst was to
feel Noel’s desire through their bond. The little bastard wanted it! That’s why
Liam  jumped out from the corner he was hiding.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
The two men startled when they heard Liam’s angry voice. Noel jumped up and
took two steps back.
Clint only looked annoyed by the whole situation. He was the first to speak up.
“You’re Noel’s brother, aren’t you?”
Liam nodded. Clint shrugged lackadaisically.
“So don’t mind me, I’ll just go away and let you talk this through...” he
paused and added “Unless you wanna join in?”
Liam hadn’t seen this one coming.
“Are you fucking tripping me? I’m no bloody... Poof!”
Clint smirked at Liam’s embarrassment , “They all say that before they try.”
The older man winked “Never mind. See you someday, sugar.”
Liam snorted as Clint left the stables, Noel tried to follow him but the
teenager grabbed his arm. He tried to shove Liam off but his grip was too firm.
For the first time in weeks, they looked into each other’s eyes. Both of them
were determined. Noel was trying to escape but Liam had no intention to let him
run away again. He pushed his brother with all his strength sending the both of
them struggling on the ground. In the end, Noel was still older and stronger so
he was able to immobilise his brother against the floor. He was straddling him
and keeping his hands pinned over his head. Liam looked furious.
“Fucking let go of me, Noel!”
The older brother jumped back. The proximity was a painful reminder of what
happened that night.
The moment he saw Liam’s hurt look, guilt took over his heart.
“I don’t like him, Clint.” Spat Liam.
“That’s none of your business.”
“Of course it is!”
Noel rolled his eyes, “Even you don’t believe that nonsense.”
Liam curled his fist into a ball.
“I know you feel it too. You want me.”
“You’re imagining things.” Since the incident Noel had decided to forget about
his feelings. Of course, it wasn’t that easy but he hoped that day after day
the pain would fade and he could stop pretending.
Liam kept insisting, “The pull. I know you feel it too.”
“Wrong brother, try it on Paul.”
Liam flinched. Noel knew he had upset him. The adolescent’s voice  shifted from
angry to hesitant.
“But... The things...” Liam was struggling with the words. Noel wished he could
shut up because he knew what was coming. “The things we did that night...” Noel
interrupted him before he could go further.
“Don’t tell me you took it seriously, Liam! It was a joke! I was just messing
around.” Eventually, they would forget about it or so he hoped.
He could feel his brother’s heart pounding hard in his chest. Looking at him,
Noel wasn’t sure whether he was going to punch him or burst into tears. It
turned out that he did none.
“I fucking hate you.” He spat before leaving the stables.
Noel felt as if he had been stabbed with those four words. He sat on the
ground, drained from all his energy. He was so tired he could lay here for the
rest of the day, just a shadow in the warm gloom of the stables. He felt calm
but broken. However, he had to keep on  pretending and  maybe at least he would
be able to keep up appearances.
***
Liam was in Peggy’s room. He had opened her wardrobe and his head was buried
between his mother’s dresses. He pushed aside the clothes, all the silk and
lace, the velvet and the muslin. He placed his hands at the bottom of the
furniture, he was sure what he was searching for was there. His fingers
followed the wooden panel until they stumbled over a small glass bottle. He
pulled it out. The label claimed “Laudanum, 10% pure opium from China”. It was
useful to relieve women’s monthly troubles. However, the label didn’t specify
that it could also make you find temporary oblivion and send you away from
reality.
Ten drops for a mild pain and fifteen to alleviate a serious one. He’d make it
thirty, that should be enough to get a little high and have good dreams. He
tilted his head back and stuck his tongue out, letting the drops flow to the
back of his throat. The liquid was bitter and he felt like he could throw up.
Was it thirty already? He wasn’t sure, so he took a few more. He cleaned his
mouth with his sleeve and clumsily put the bottle back where it belonged. He
could already feel the drug in his blood, flowing to his brain. He reeled out
of his mother’s room. He didn’t remember the corridor was that long. Everything
looked odd and out of place. The walls were wavy. He looked closer, they
weren’t wavy actually, they were moving. The tiled floor was moving to. Liam
would have laughed if he wasn’t so tired. He felt two arms grabbing him from
behind and lifting him up.
“Are you alright, kid ?”
Who was it? Was it Sally? Was it Paul? He was confused, so much ideas were
bubbling in his brain. His heart missed a beat. Was it Noel?He wanted to ask
but he was so tired and his eyelids were so heavy. The arms circling his chest
grabbed him tighter and he blacked out.
***
He plunged into a deep slumber. The kind of sleep that only brings bad dreams
and awakes primal fears. Everything was blurry and the scene was moving too
fast, mixing past and present. A young Noel was mocking him. I was just messing
around, messing around. With no transition, he turned into a fully grown adult
and pushed him. The dream shattered like a mirror. Liam was falling before he
hurt a liquid surface. He was being engulfed in a crimson sea. He sank like a
stone. The water was closing around him. He tried to scream but there was no
sound coming out of his throat. The tide was taking him. He was breathing the
red water but he wasn’t choking. He kept sinking until the sea spat him out.
For some seconds, he was aware of the real world. Echoes of shouting reached
him. There was Sally, she was yelling at someone “it’s your fault, what
happened to Liam! You’d better makes things right when he wakes up or I swear
to God I will kick your ass Noel Thomas David Gallagher.”
Her voice faded and he woke up to another dream. He was neither here nor there,
actor and witness of the scene. He saw himself kissing Noel. He was himself and
a little bit Noel, he was the whole scene. His brother’s lips felt so good and
his closed eyes were so blue. He wished the dream could just go on and he could
keep on snogging that illusion of Noel. It lasted for an uncertain time. He
could only describe it as a very long week that was squeezed in a second. Once
again the dream was shattered as a beast jumped out from an indeterminate
corner. Its shape changed and it turned out it was Thomas. The man was shouting
at them and calling them abominations. The Noel of his dream ran away as soon
as their old man had appeared. Liam chased him but he was gone. He kept on
running purposelessly until he finally surfaced from the string of nightmares.
He was very disorientated. It took him a few minutes to even blinked. The bed
he was laying on seemed as solid as it was supposed to be. He took a real deep
breath of real air. The bad dreams were already fading, leaving him anxious
without knowing exactly why.
A set of blue eyes were observing him with concern.
“Noel?” he called out hazily. His vision was still blurred but it had to be
him.
“Yes, kid. It’s me. Fuck, you really scared the shit out of me. How are you
feeling?”
“’m fine.” Liam tried to straighten up but he was still too weak. His head fell
back on the pillow. Noel patted his hair very gently. “Take it easy, Liam.” His
brother’s hands were so soft that  he felt like he was drowning again in that
crimson sea. He closed his eyes, the corners of his eyelids were wet with
tears. The drug was making him too vulnerable.
“Why did you tell me it was just a joke the other night?” He whispered.
He felt the other man stiffen next to him. The flow of comforting feelings
coming from Noel suddenly stopped and Liam wasn’t able to access to his
brother’s emotions anymore.
“Just forget about it, okay. Forget. I promise you, it will be like it was
before.”
Liam shut his eyes What if I don’t want to forget,he thought.
“Never leave me again, Noel.” The older squeezed his hand but he didn’t say a
word. For now, it was good enough for Liam.
***
“Watch out, Noel!” shouted Liam while laughing. It was already too late, the
younger had splashed his brother from head to toe. “Now you can’t say that you
don’t want to bathe because you’re dry!” he laughed.
Spring was blooming around the castle. The sun was shining brightly in a pale
blue sky. For the first time this year the temperature had risen enough to
allow the boys to swim in the pound nearby.
Liam was in the water. His shirt was abandoned on the grass and he had rolled
up his trousers. The cool water had made his nipples harden and redden. His
cheeks were colored in bright pink. He had water up to his knees and he was
smiling as if he was five.
Noel avoided staring too much but he had noticed that his wet trousers were
sticking to his skin, drawing the outline of his thighs and bum.
“Go fuck yourself, Liam.” He only earned a new spritz of water in the face.
“You’re not funny.” Complained the younger, “Come on, come on, come on!”
The kid could drive anyone insane. “I will drown you just to make you shut up,
soft bastard.” Liam rose his arms in victory. “He’s finally coming!”
The older got rid of his clothes and he intended to slowly get into the cold
water. Liam wasn’t that patient. He grabbed his arm and made him jump in the
pound. Noel was instantly hit by the cold. He wondered how Liam was doing
because it was actually freezing. He lost his balance and fell in the water.
Liam caught him before he could hit the bottom. “Are you alright Noel?” he
asked anxiously. “Yes, yes.” Muttered the older man. He trudged out of the
water and laid on the bank. Liam joined him, looking worried.
Noel had passed out three times this week. There was no explanation and he
feared his brother was seriously ill. It started months ago. At first he barely
noticed but Noel had lost weight. Now he was so thin that he could see the
outline of his ribs on his chest. His skin was pale as alabaster and even his
eyes were in a lighter shade of blue. It was as if all the colors had been
slowly sucked out of his body. He only became fully aware of his condition
recently, when Noel passed out for the first time.
“You know what Liam? Next time I go out with you, we choose a calmer activity.”
The boy smiled softly. “Whatever you want as long as it’s not fucking boring.”
“It won’t be boring, for sure.” Liam raised an eyebrow. “What are you on
about?”
“I was thinking I should take you to the opium den. Just so you avoid to drink
up a bottle of laudanum like the last time. I’ll show you how it’s done.”
Liam’s eyes were gleaming with excitement. “It sounds alright to me, not too
boring.”
Playful, he leaned on Noel’s chest and kissed his collarbone. The older
stiffened and he gave his sibling a stern look. He was doing his best to
control all his gestures around Liam but it seemed the kid was always trying to
push him to his limit. When Noel was avoiding any contact, Liam was eager to
touch him.
He thought it was his punishment for tainting Liam’s innocence. The boy was
regularly putting him to the test whether it was deliberate or not. However,
Noel was determined never to give in again, never to hurt Liam again. His
nightmares were still haunted by his little brother’s distraught look that
night.
***
In one of the darker street of Manchester, there was a shabby shop stuck
between two old houses. The sign over the front door indicated “Exotic Items
from overseas”. Some of the letters had been freshly painted and contrasted
with the others that were half erased. It was well past the opening of the shop
and the curtains had been drawn before the vitrine. However, there was a light
glowing weakly through the interstices between the hangings. Far from being
close, the shop had just begun the second part of its activities.
Inside, a blond woman was bending over a wooden table. Her fingers were swiftly
flying between little jars filled with unknown liquid or colorful powders. She
was precisely mixing the substances in a clay pot. When she finished blending
the mixture, she poured it into a flask and gave it to a woman who was waiting
outside the room.
“This should alleviate the pain and your little boy will recover quickly.”
The woman took the hands of the healer in her own as a sign of gratitude.
“Bless you, Patsy. I was worried sick about my boy.” She put the vial in her
pocket and disappeared into the night.
Some said that Patsy was a witch but it was only meaningless gossips. She just
knew her way with plants. Moreover she had access to lots of books and
ingredients thanks to her husband’s itinerant lifestyle.
 
Patsy was clearing up the bench when two young men got through the door of the
shop. They were having a lively discussion. Patsy recognised forthwith the
smaller one. He was the middle son of the Gallagher family, Noel. He was often
coming to the shop since the day he had brought the phonograph. However, she
had never seen the boy with him.
Her husband was already rushing to welcome that prestigious client. After a few
words, the man directed the two boys toward Patsy.
She smiled politely, “Good evening. I suppose you’re there for the usual
business. ”
Noel nodded. The usual business was what he’s been doing every week since
Liam’s birthday, losing his mind in the midst of opium smoke. “I’ve brought my
little brother along.” The younger man smiled sheepishly.
“What’s your name?” asked Patsy in a soft tone.
“His name is William.” Answered Noel quickly.
“I can speak for meself!” snorted the so-called William, “You can call me
Liam.”
“Fine Liam, is this your first time?” she inquired as she lead them toward the
back of the shop.
Once again, Noel was the one to speak up “It’s not his first, no. At least, not
if you consider drinking up a whole bottle of laudanum as a first time.” Patsy
was unsure what to do, so she chuckled politely. Liam looked annoyed but he
didn’t utter a word.
The woman pulled out a heavy drapery that was concealing a door. Liam was
observing with curiosity as she pushed the leaf to reveal a dark room filled
with smoke and fragrant vapours. Quiet conversations were filtering through
thick drapes that were dividing the place in several small spaces. In the
daytime the owners of the shops were usual traders but in the night-time they
turned the place into an opium den.
Patsy guided the two of them toward an empty spot. Noel sat on a silk cushion.
Liam joined him only after Patsy indicated he should do the same. Then, she
handed them two opium pipes and lit a spirit lamp. The yellow flame rose
lazily, barely lighting the surroundings. Patsy wished them a good evening
before she retired. Noel picked a long needle among the paraphernalia left at
their disposal. He used it to retrieve a small amount of opium paste before he
heated it up with the flame of the spirit lamp. The opium began to glow with a
dark sheen and to simmer as if it was alive. Noel rolled it into the opium pipe
and began to smoke. He closed his eyes with delight as the sweet and toxic
smoke filled his lungs.
Liam was observing Noel’s gestures closely in order to reproduce them. He was
heating his own opium paste until it turned gooey. “It’s time you put it in the
pipe.” Obediently, Liam followed Noel’s advice and tasted for the first time
the numbing kiss of opium. Unlike the laudanum it didn’t knock him out, instead
a blissful mist rose inside his mind and he felt relaxed.
The brothers smoked in silence for a while. Noel’s eyes were half closed, Liam
had rarely seen him that peaceful. The flow of emotions coming from him was
appeased and quiet. Under the effect of the drug, Liam slipped deeper into his
brother’s consciousness. He didn’t mean to but it happened anyway.
Usually, he could easily perceive Noel’s most powerful feelings: anger,
despair, love. Sometimes, he could catch a glimpse of his daily moods, when he
was annoyed or amused. On rare occasions, he could even clearly hear his
thoughts. But now, new doors were opening and he could see deeper into his
brother’s heart. Noel’s soul was in shades of blue. Like an ocean, it was
intimidating and majestic. Under the surface, Liam could sense his damaged
soul, all the traumas that had opened deep abysses in his ocean-heart. His
loneliness ran almost as deep. There was a void in his heart and the need to
fill it.
Some parts were calm as if frozen in ice and others were raging like a tropical
sea in a hurricane. His desire for Liam was like that, wild and fiery. Then,
his serene blue was mixed with passionate purple. His lust was only bridle by a
vague sense of shame and guilt. Noel had never forgiven himself about that
night.
 
Unwillingly he sank even further in his brother’s psyche and he realised he
could access to darker instincts. He saw red flames gleaming under the ice,
threatening reflection of an insatiable hunger, a sea of crimson thirst.  Those
impulses were locked away in a part of Noel’s unconscious, frozen. It made him
feel uncomfortable and anxious even if he didn’t understand it fully as it was
concealed deep into Noel’s mind. He withdrew from his brother’s soul like he
had entered it, without knowing exactly how it happened.
When he opened his eyes again, Noel looked as peaceful as he was before,
unaware of Liam’s inner trip. It was difficult to imagine that behind the calm
blue of his eyes, there was this abyss of feelings. Liam’s memories were fuzzy
and he was feeling uneasy without knowing exactly why. However, he could
remember clearly one thing. Noel loved him, desired him and it was all that
mattered.
He wished he could sooth him and fill that hole in his soul. He took his own
cushion and moved it next to his brother’s. He sat beside him and rested his
head against Noel’s shoulder. He had just entered his mind but paradoxically he
was the one felling naked and vulnerable.
“Hey Noely G, I love you.”
The older exhaled a long puff of smoke. Liam wondered if he was going to answer
something. Eventually, he did “Don’t make it weird.” His tone was neutral but
Liam’s heart was still very close Noel’s heart and knew his words had reach
him. He let his brother had all the opium for himself, he was happy just to be
around him. Silently, he rested his head on the older’s lap. Noel didn’t push
him away so he thought he was probably too high and hadn’t noticed. A few
minutes later, he felt a hand gently petting his hair. He closed his eyes, Noel
was humming a lullaby. Last time he heard it he was probably five and Peggy was
tucking him in.
Liam kept his head on Noel’s lap long after the spirit lamp ceased to flicker
and the pipes rested, useless, on the ground. Noel thought Liam might be
asleep. The effects of the opium began to fade. He woke up his little brother
by playfully pinching his nose. The boy startled and then he smiled when he
realised it was Noel.
 
When they got out of the shop it was the early morning. The big city had just
opened its eyes with the first lights of dawn. Drunkards were fighting in a
filthy corner of the streets. A barking full of pain pierced the silence. At
that moment, Liam realised the drunkards were actually molesting a little dog.
Without thinking twice he rushed in the middle of their small group and started
kicking and punching. There were four of them. By the time Noel joined in to
help Liam he had already received a few blows and his lips were bleeding. The
two brothers were able to make the men run away considering they were still
very drunk.
Liam licked the dried blood on his lips and massage his bruised chest. Noel was
miraculously unharmed. The dog was still around, he was observing them with
defiance. Liam crouched and called him very quietly. The animal got closer
gingerly. Liam stretched out his arm in an attempt to touch him. The dog moved
closer and sniffed Liam’s hand. After a few minutes the teenager was able to
pet him. Noel had been watching silently the whole scene. He had already
figured out what would happen next.
“I’m not leaving him in the streets.” Said Liam firmly with the little dog in
his arms. Noel shrugged, “I don’t mind as long as you’re the one giving mam all
the explanations.”
They called a carriage to take them home. The dog never left Liam’s arms. He
had a strange bald spot on the head which led Liam to call him Bonehead.
Noel couldn’t help but soften as he saw Liam petting the dog and calling him
strange names. Sometimes the teenager was wincing because of the punches he had
taken earlier. Noel couldn’t help but worry about him.
When they reached Castle Burnage Liam was pale. Noel helped him get out of the
carriage. The dog followed them to the castle but he ran away in the direction
of the kitchen as soon as he smelled the food. Noel figured he would be fine on
his own so he helped Liam to get to his room.
 
“It’s alright, Noel. I’m not a fucking princess, I can survive a few blows.”
Protested Liam.
“You’re telling me to leave ?” the older man looked slightly miffed. The answer
snapped quickly.
“No!” Liam took a deep breath, “I’m just saying you need no excuses to stay
with me.”
Noel snorted, “You don’t know that.”
 
Liam sat on the bed, trying to keep his composure but it was clear to Noel that
he was in pain. He was nibbling his lips so hard it began to bleed again.
Noel pulled out his handkerchief from his pocket, “fuck, gotta clean you up.”
He got closer and meant to hand the piece of fabric to Liam but when he saw the
blood and smelled it, he felt a craving like he had never felt before. He
dropped the handkerchief and sucked lightly Liam’s bruised lip instead.
Liam’s eyes widened when Noel’s mouth touched his lips but he remained calm. He
has been waiting for this moment. He has been playing it in his head every day,
every evening before sleeping. He was so determined not to ruin it again that
he went as far as asking Clint about sex between men. It must have been the
most humiliating hour of his life but now he understood how the thingy was
going.
For Liam it was the kiss he had been waiting for. For Noel, it was the first
time he tasted Liam’s blood.
***** Beautiful Lie *****
Chapter Summary
     It was the only way to keep him close.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
[beautiful_lie]
 
 
I’m no better than my old man.
It was the last lucid thought Noel had before the bloodlust took over his mind.
He sucked eagerly Liam’s lower lip that had been split during the fight. His
hunger awakened and he wasn’t able to control it. His sanity got swamped by the
blood thirst. He had never realised until now but he needed the blood. It was
vital to him. The first drop was exquisite, but it only increased his voracity.
A pair of fangs he never knew he had came out of his gum, sharp needles ready
to pierce the delicate skin. Liam hadn’t noticed. Not yet. He was trying to
deepen the kiss. He didn’t understand when Noel pulled out and began to panic
“Don’t go away...!” he cried out. But Noel wasn’t going anywhere, he was just
beginning. He brutally grabbed Liam’s wrists and immobilised him.
A primal and irresistible instinct was possessing his body. He could hear
Liam’s heart playing as loud in his head as a drum, driving him closer to the
edge of madness with each beat. He could sense the flow of blood in every
vessel of his body. He understood clearly that his brother’s blood was his own
survival and even all his willpower wasn’t enough to make him stop.
He laid his head against Liam’s neck, where he could sense the flow of the
blood was the most powerful. His fangs sank easily in the skin. He heard Liam
scream at that point but it was almost inaudible compared to the frantic beat
of his heart. His brother tried to push him away but he was as weak as a
butterfly caught in a web. The only thing that mattered was to taste that blood
and quench his thirst.
It only took a few seconds for Liam to calm down, stop screaming and stop
struggling. He was resting limp as a ragdoll inside Noel’s arms. He was scared
and he didn’t understand what was going on. For weeks, he had been repeating to
himself ‘never disappoint Noel again’. Over and over again like a prayer, like
a promise of brighter days.
Whatever this was, he was ready to take it. He wouldn’t ruin their relationship
once again because there was only one thing he couldn’t handle and it was being
apart from Noel.
The pain in his neck could make him faint but he fought to remain conscious. He
gritted his teeth and clenched his fist until his nails left red marks in his
palms. Tears were brimming in the corner of his eyes.
He could sense that his brother had no control over what he was doing. He
figured out it came from Thomas one way or another. He thought the nightmare
had ended the day his old man went missing but it seemed that fate was against
them.
As scared and anxious as he was, there was still a little part of himself that
thought it was only fair. As a child, Noel had taken all the blows and all the
bites and all the other things he could only suspect. A sickening feeling of
guilt had never been completely washed away by the time. He wished he could
have shared that pain with Noel but it was impossible. That’s why as scared as
he was, a tiny part of his mind thought he deserved that payback.
The pain withdrew slowly as the blood dried up. When Noel rose his head, the
fangs were already gone. The large amount of blood he had drunk seemed to
affect him in strange ways. He was barely aware of Liam and his bloodied neck.
He looked blankly at his brother. His soulless eyes showed no expression and it
made Liam feel uneasy and anxious. Noel collapsed slackly on his body.
He didn’t have the time to process or think. He just knew that Noel had hurt
him and now he was unconscious in his arms. Just a few hours before he was
tenderly petting his hair, in an opium den downtown. He chuckled nervously. Was
it better to fuck your brother or to feed on him? The absurdity of the
situation was just too much for his brain. He carried Noel to the bed and
washed his neck covered in dried blood. He locked the door of his room, he was
sure Noel would try to run away as soon as he would be awake. He took a moisten
towel to clean his brother’s mouth as well. All he could do was to take care of
all the small tangible things around. He put back in place a chair that had
been thrown to the ground. He cleaned his neck once again for no other reason
but to keep his mind busy. The wound was really small, it only hurt when he
pressed on it. Aimlessly, he opened all the drawers of his desk. The
neckerchief Sally gave him was there, concealing a tiny bottle of oil. It was
Clint’s advice. Always be prepared, always have lubricant around.
He pushed away the vial and took the foulard. Standing in front of the mirror,
he put it around his neck. The mark left by the fangs was invisible. He tied
and untied the knot until he was satisfied. Regularly, he turned back to check
on Noel but he was still unconscious.
He was so peaceful, Liam wasn’t sure he wanted him to wake up to the terrible
reality. He wondered what he would say to him.
Liam had ran out of things to fix in his room. He lay flat on the bed, next to
his brother. His body was still, he closed his eyes but he was unable to sleep.
He synchronised his breath with Noel.
He felt so empty, as if along his blood, his soul had also been sucked out. He
left his mind drift, sometimes images or sensations of what had just happened
would hit him and he’d stop breathing for a second. His brain was unable to
understand the situation. He had many questions. He needed to talk to Noel as
much as it was frightening him. He imagined different possibilities of
conversations in his head. There was no way to make things right. His heart
sunk.
The man next to him moved. The sheets rustled softly and Noel straitened up in
the bed. Liam opened his eyes a little, just enough to see his shape between
his lashes. His brother was rubbing his eyes and yawning. He did not seemed
traumatised or on the verge of falling apart. He turned toward his little
brother “Why the fuck am I in your room?” he looked around. “Why the fuck am I
in your bed?”
He had no recollection what had happened. Liam opened his eyes wide.
“You’re telling me you don’t remember?”
“No. Last thing I know is I took you up to your room.”
He was relieved. Not overjoyed, but hopeful.
“Liam, answer me. Did I...”
“We made love.” He blurted out.
If he had to lie, he’d make it a beautiful lie. Something he can hang on to
make things right. Maybe it was just selfish but at that moment he convinced
himself it was for the best. A way to make real his unfulfilled wish.
Noel remained silent for a long time.
“Say something Noely, hey Noely?” Liam grabbed his arm like a little kid asking
for a favour. “I love you, say something.” Liam began to panic.
“Did you actually like it?” it surprised him because Noel’s tone was curious.
He had never imagined after the incident that Liam could actually want it. He
was so afraid to hurt his little brother that he completely forgot to trust his
instincts. And now he saw it clear as day.
Liam seemed fine, a bit tired but Noel supposed it was normal although his eyes
were red. “Did you cry? ”
The boy smiled. “Only cause it was so good.”
Noel thought it was strange that he had no memories of something that
important. However, he had no will to dig deeper. It was more that he could
dream of that Liam loved him.
The boy flopped on his belly and yawned. “I wanna stay in bed longer.”
His thick lashes fluttered over his blue eyes. He looked exhausted. Noel lay
next to him, not knowing whether he should touch him or not.
“’m cold Noely, warm me up.”
“It’s not cold.”
“Shut’up, ‘m freezing.”
Noel opened his arms and his sibling huddled against his chest. Liam felt
asleep as soon as he rested his head against Noel. His brother’s arms felt like
home, no matter what he did.
Noel stayed awake to watch over Liam’s sleep. For the first time in a while he
was at peace. His internal struggle had come to an end. He found salvation in
the big child sleeping peacefully against his chest. He hugged him tight and
buried his nose in his hair. He smelled like sun and innocence.
***
7am. The castle was bustling like a big anthill. As usual, Peggy was checking
that everything was in order. Like every other morning, the maids were dusting
the furniture and chasing the cobwebs. Tamed fire was purring in the
fireplaces. One after another all the curtains were drawn until the myriad of
glassy eyes of the castle were opened.
Then, came Peggy’s usual visit to the kitchen. She wasn’t prepared for what she
found. It was a disaster, a real battlefield of mashed food and broken dishes.
In the middle of that mess she was surprised to find a puppy. The wee thing
greeted her with an enthusiastic bark. His fur was dirty and he had mud on his
paws. There was dried blood on the tip of his ear. She figured he must be a
stray dog.
“Does anyone know where that dog comes from?” she asked. Nobody knew. The dirty
puppy was running toward her and jumped on his hind legs. The clever thing
seemed to know she was the human he had to charm to stay here. Peggy stepped
back not to stain her dress but she brushed his head with the tip of her
fingers. She didn’t have the heart to kick him out. She left the cooks to clean
up the mess.
8am. Four bowls, four servings of bacon and eggs, two seats occupied. Peggy
looked at Paul as if the two empty chairs were his responsibility.
“Don’t give me that face, mam. It’s not my fault if the two idiots spent their
night out.” The matriarch didn’t answer at first. She stuck her fork in the
eggs as if she wanted to stab them.
“Can you imagine that I had to ask the coachman to know where they had been and
when they came back? They were in this place of perdition and they even got in
a street fight. They could have been killed. Can you imagine Paul? ” the man
endured his mother’s recriminations silently. He wouldn’t have liked to be in
Noel’s shoes when Peggy would find him. Her Irish accent got thicker, and her
speech quickened. “it was so irresponsible of Noel to drag Liam in town at
night. He’s too young, he’s still a child.”
He didn’t want to get involved but he still did, almost despite himself.
“How can you think of Liam as a child? He’s the devil, our kid. Ask the maids
if they think he’s too young.”
Peggy rejected the idea of her baby boy doing the naughty with a hand gesture
and a frown. At last, she changed the topic of conversation.
10am. Sleepy head and pale skin, Liam finally showed up in the sitting room,
closely followed by Noel. Peggy instantly knew that something had happened. The
two of them were glowing in a way that made her uneasy. She gave the both of
them a severe look. “Does it seem to you like a decent hour to wake up?” Liam
looked down and fiddled with his neckerchief nervously. Noel didn’t dare to say
anything. “I’ve asked the cooks to put aside the leftovers of the breakfast for
you.” Liam was embarrassed but he thanked her.
5pm. Four cups of Earl Grey tea and an assortment of various little cakes. Liam
was enthusiastically chewing on a madeleine. He had had his breakfast so late
that he had barely ate during lunch time and now he was starving. Chocolate was
oozing on his fingers so he conscientiously licked them. Peggy had given up
years ago to teach him manners. She sighed but said nothing.
Since the boys had woken up, she had felt uneasy with a sense of foreboding.
She refused to think about it but it was like an annoying itch in the back of
her mind.
She could sense that something was out of place. Was it the way Noel was
looking at Liam? It was different from yesterday. It wasn’t the same as it was
years ago either. Something was out of place. Was it the dog in the kitchen or
the way Liam kept on touching his neck through his foulard? If she remembered
correctly it was a gift from the maid’s daughter, Sally. It was nothing more
than a piece of fabric. She wondered if she was imagining things where there
was nothing. Maybe, she was just still mad at them about the opium den.
Liam offered to serve the tea but he was shaking. He had to grasp the handle of
the teapot with both hands. “Are you feeling alright, Liam?” asked Peggy with
concern. “Yes, yes. I just lack of sleep.” mumbled the boy. Their mother gave
Noel a gaze heavy with reproach. He looked down and hunched his shoulders. His
face was burning. She had no idea the opium den was nothing compared to what he
did with Liam that night.
 
9pm. A stitch in place, a mesh in reverse. The only sounds breaking the silence
were the pinging of the knitting needles and the crackling of the fire.
A strand felt from Peggy’s bun. She folded it distractedly behind her ear. She
was knitting Liam a scarf. The fabric was soft and in shades of blue to match
his eyes. The repetitive dance of the needles around the yarn was almost
hypnotic. She was lost in her thoughts so she didn’t hear when Liam walked in
the room. She flinched at the sound of his voice “Mam...”. He sounded unsure,
“Can I ask you something?” Liam kneeled next to her armchair. She pushed aside
her work and needles for her son to rest his head on her lap.
“What’s bothering you, Liam?” she questioned while petting his hair. The boy
sighed. “I’ve been thinking... Well... About some things.” Her hand was resting
still on his head. She was ready to listen to everything he had to confide.
“About the things that happened when my old man was still there.” Peggy
involuntarily stiffened in her chair. There was no explicit rule saying that it
was taboo but they never talked about it.
Liam kept on talking with a neutral voice, “and what he did to me brothers... I
was wondering if you knew something, or... Anything really.”
Peggy shivered. She had never talked to them about Leanan Sidhe the Fairy or
whatever. It had never made sense to her so she had just forgotten about it.
However, now that Liam was asking, she could remember the conversation between
her and Thomas as vividly as if it had just happened. She chose her words
carefully, feeling a bit nauseous.
“I can’t tell you what the truth was. I don’t know it myself, I’m not
interested. It’s in the past. Thomas did say to me a few odd things back then.
But... I don’t know. I just can’t explain to you.” Liam was listening very
attentively. “But... If you really want those answers, you can still search in
his papers. I believe there are some documents in which you could find
something.” Peggy felt slightly bad not to tell him about Leanan but she
couldn’t find the words to explain it. She had never believed it herself. She
had always seen Thomas as a very disturbed man but that’s all he was.
Certainly, he had fangs and it wasn’t a common thing but she had once seen a
rabbit with two heads and it wasn’t common either. The beast was just a rabbit
even with its two heads. So was Thomas, he was not a monster from the Irish
lore. He was a very disturbed man.
***
The attic was the coldest part of the castle. Among the cobwebs and dust, old
books and ancient furniture were hibernating. If an object was put there it was
very likely that it would never see the light of day again.
Liam didn’t know where to begin. His mother had told him that his old man’s
paperwork had never been moved from his desk. He was very little when it
happened so he had only a vague idea of what the desk looked like. He spotted a
familiar shape. It wasn’t the desk but his wardrobe when he was a child. He had
almost forgotten about it. As he opened the leaf, the dust made him cough. He
almost expected to find his little clothes hanging there. However, It was empty
except for a wooden box full of toys. He remembered them, valiant little
soldiers and chiselled animals. The hare had a broken ear. He brushed the spot
where the missing piece of wood was supposed to be. It was his fault. Noel
hadn’t wanted to play with him that day, so he had hurled the toys on the
ground. The delicate hare hadn’t survived the fall. Later, Thomas had found
out. Noel had taken the blame to protect his brother. Liam had cried all the
night. At the time, he had thought that the sadness and the guilt would never
go away.
He put the figurine back where it belonged, enclosed behind a door, in a box
full of memories.
His shirt was grey with dust when he finally found the desk. He opened all the
drawers. Between the dried ink and blank letters, he found a bound book. He sat
on an abandoned armchair to read it. The pages had turned yellow with the time.
It was Thomas’ journal. Just touching it made Liam’s stomach sick and anger
rise in his chest. He read the first page. It was the story of how he left
Ireland to settle in the surroundings of Manchester. As he skimmed through the
first pages, he realised Thomas had chosen Peggy on purpose. He knew she
wouldn’t get away from him. He had looked for a noble Irish girl with no dowry
and no property. Liam felt like tearing up the pages but he had to keep on
reading. A month after he married Peggy, Liam found the first interesting
mention.
November_23 rd 1857 ,
Today I’ve felt the thirst again. I doubled the doses of the potion but it
didn’t fade completely. It’s about time she gets pregnant.
The entry stopped there. Thomas wasn’t a poet, he just exposed the bare facts.
There was no mention of the period between November and February.
March_2 nd 1858 ,
At last it was successful! I can’t describe my relief when the missus announced
me that she was pregnant. Blood must feed on blood. It’s about time. I hope I
can survive the eight months left.
 
August_15 th 1858 ,
I’ve spent the day in bed. The potion isn’t working anymore, no matter how many
litters I drink. I can tell the blood sickness is slowly killing me and taking
away my vital strength. The missus never stops worrying. She wants to help, she
said!! The only way she could help would be to deliver that baby faster!
 
September_20 th 1858 ,
The blood thirst is driving me crazy. I can’t sleep at night anymore and in the
daytime the fever is getting me down. I had no idea I could endure the blood
sickness that much longer. Unfortunately, the curse only allows me to quench my
thirst on the blood of my blood. I haven’t fed for more than fifteen months,
the day I left Ireland. My folks did tell me that it was a crazy journey. They
were the fools if you ask me. When I left, half of the population was starving
and it was just the beginning. Why stay in a land with no future? I’d rather
try my luck in England!
But as it is now, the blood deprivation is killing me. Fortunately, the midwife
came bearing a good new. The baby will be there soon!
Liam felt rage building up in his belly. Some things were just unforgivable.
Thomas had always considered his sons as his personal larder. The entries of
the journal continued.
 
November_15 th 1858
Feeling much better now. I fed today on the baby. I was careful not to lose
control. I asked the midwife how many litters of blood the little fella had.
She said it’s less than 0.2!
The blood thirst was almost impossible to manage. It drove me insane to stop
feeding after two gulps. I felt like cracking my head open against a wall.
Liam felt like vomiting. He didn’t have the heart to read more but he had to.
He decided to skip a few pages to begin again on the day Noel was born.
May_30 th 1860
The brat was born yesterday. I’m too hungover to think clearly but it’s a good
new as it’ll be easier to feed now with the two boys. With Paul’s blood only I
had to hold back all the time not to kill him!
When I saw Noel I had a hunch that he had inherited the blood curse. I won’t
see it happening anyway. The curse will be dormant until the brat gets in his
twenties. I know I will be dead then. Until that day comes I’ll just try to
survive and get as much as can out of this life.
Peggy hasn’t found out yet. It gives me headaches just thinking about the day
she will ask questions.
Liam had found some answers. He decided to stop reading now because it was
making him sick. Physically and mentally sick. His skin was itching and he felt
uneasy. Reading that journal was like staring into an abyss. He was so grateful
they had escaped Thomas.
He stashed the book in the desk again and hastily exited the attic. The nasty
and cold words were sticking to his skin and he felt like waking up from a bad
dream. He was so absorbed that he startled when he noticed Noel was in the
corridor. He rushed toward his brother. The older was puzzled by his behaviour.
“What’s wrong, Liam?” The boy didn’t answer, he threw himself into Noel’s arms.
The older hugged his brother back. He could hear Liam’s heart beating
frantically in his chest and he wondered what had happened to him.
When he got calmer, Liam faced Noel. A frown was darkening his face. “I love
you more than anything, you know.” He confessed seriously before kissing Noel
to prevent him from answering. He needed to assure his brother of his love to
cleanse his mind of the evil things he had read. Maybe Noel was cursed but he
was nothing like Thomas.
***
(Bonus paragraph!)
Bonehead was the happiest dog on Earth. This castle had everything a puppy
could dream of. A vast park to play and run after the squirrels. A big kitchen
where there would always be someone to feed him. Lots of humans to pet him and
rub his belly.
And there was his saviour. Bonehead loved his saviour with all his dog’s heart.
He barked every time he saw the young man and jumped on his hind legs to
welcome him. His saviour was a good man. As long as he was happy, Bonehead was
hapoy.
***
In the restroom. In the dining room. Not in the corridors, someone could be
watching! The whole castle had become the playground of a hide and seek game.
The boldest thing Noel and Liam had done was to grope each other behind the
curtains of the boudoir. Paul had come in. Liam’s hand was inside Noel’s
breeches. Noel’s hand was on Liam’s mouth to prevent him from giggling. Blessed
was the thickness of the curtains.
One day at a time, Liam had discovered that Noel was more than willing to play
with him. He was also metamorphosed. His skin had lost its ghostly complexion
for healthier colors and he wasn’t as thin as he used to be. Liam had
understood that the stigmas of the blood sickness were slowly fading away.
The wound on his own neck was almost gone. He had taken off the foulard for
Noel to shower his neck with kisses and hickeys. They were taking their time
like children who have never tasted love.
Kisses were easy. They used to kissed even before the phonograph and the opium
den. Liam remembered how it was then. He used to kiss Noel with feigned
innocence, pretending it was normal whereas he never did it with his other
brother.
After the kisses, came the caresses. Liam knew the sensation of girl’s hands on
his skin but it was nothing compared to Noel’s. He loved how he could shift
from the most delicate touches to rough stokes. He was making it a sweet
torture, leaving Liam begging for more.
***
The sun was rising over the castle, bathing the old stones in light. The birds
were singing in the trees and the first buds were covered with shiny dew. The
curtains of the bedroom in the tower had just been pulled and a young man was
at the window. Inside, ruffled sheets and a bottle of wine were the only
witnesses of the night.
Liam was naked. The early light was giving his skin a velvety complexion. He
took a deep breath of fresh air. Spring smelled like innocence and youth. The
nature was waking up from the winter. All the vegetation that had been blind
and numb during the cold season was opening its vegetal eyes and stretching its
branches in the sun. All the nature was filled with the unspoken promise of
warmer days. Liam felt as alive as the world around him.
A man was lazily stretching in the bed. He was filling his eyes with the beauty
of his brother’s naked body. He wanted to touch him with his hands and his lips
and possess his delicate body. He was slim like a boy who grew too quickly. His
waist and his thighs were slender whereas his shoulder had just begun to
broaden. There wasn’t a part of Liam’s body that Noel didn’t find beautiful and
desirable.
He smiled because life had never been as good as it was now.
“Come back to bed” he urged, “it’s too early to get up.”
The young man turned around. Noel blinked and he wasn’t too sure if it was
because of the sun or because of Liam.
His little brother was back in his arms. He was warm and soft against his skin.
Noel never knew he could be that tender and loving.
Since he didn’t remember making love to Liam, he had decided to take it easy.
The first time, his mistake had been to rush things and press his desires on
Liam. They had spent long afternoons together, enjoying each others presence.
They took the time to kiss and discover each other’s body. This night, he had
slept in Liam’s room. They had drunk wine, laughed a lot and fought over little
details. It was perfect. When they had gone to bed Liam had gotten naked
insisting that he wanted to feel Noel during his dreams. The older was more
than happy to obliged. Liam had slept pressed against his older brother’s body.
His innocence was frustrating as much as it was valuable.
 
Noel kissed the tip of his brother’s nose, making him chuckle. The boy
stretched his arms to circle Noel’s chest and pressed his lips against his. It
felt natural and easy. Their tongue touched, Liam moaned and Noel clutched the
sheets.
They had spent hours touching each other, dressing and undressing. So now it
seemed natural to them to move to the next step.
Noel’s hand travelled from the small of Liam’s back to his buttock. He grabbed
him possessively. The boy answered with a moan and arched his back. Noel felt
Liam’s hot breath against his ear “Do it.” His voice was so full of lust that
Noel barely understood.
Liam rubbed his body against Noel’s. He was begging for his brother’s touch.
“Com’on Noel” he urged him in a hoarse voice.
His breath became shallow when Noel stroke him and his expression reflected how
much he liked it.
He flipped Liam on his belly while caressing his waist and back. It had been a
while now that he had spotted where Liam kept the lubricant. It was so unlike
him to be provident.
He left a kiss on the dimple Liam had above his bum, “Wait a second, baby.” The
boy turned backward to see what Noel was doing. He was painfully hard. Even the
sensation of the sheets against his skin was arousing. Noel came back with the
bottle. Liam’s breathing quickened in anticipation. He was feeling a little
nervous but it only fuelled his desire even more. “Just relax” Noel whispered
close to his ear. Liam buried his head in the pillow, trying to calm down. “Do
it” he muttered, more for himself than Noel.
At first he only felt his brother’s familiar hands. He was touching him as if
he was made of glass. “It’s gonna feel good”, assured Noel. Liam nodded in the
pillow. At that moment, he felt a slippery liquid trickling between his
buttocks followed by Noel’s finger. A wave of pleasure hit him as his brother
teased the skin around his entrance. He moaned only for the pillow to hear and
grabbed the edge of the mattress like a lifebuoy. Noel’s hand briefly covered
his own in an attempt to reassure him. Liam relaxed a bit and Noel took this
opportunity to push a finger inside him. Liam’s inner muscles clenched around
him. He initiated back and forth movements very slowly while his other hand was
caressing Liam’s back. He also kept soothing him with his voice, “it’s
alright”, “relax Liam”, “you’re gonna like it”. Little by little, he was able
to push his finger deeper and move more easily. He added more oil as well as a
second finger. By the time he could insert a third one, Liam was moaning
noisily and begging him to hurry up.
“Hold on a little more. It won’t hurt too much if you’re well prepared.” Noel
was very aware that he was quite thick and long and Liam never had a man inside
him. He tried to get him as relax and loose as he could. “Are you done, now?”
pleaded Liam. His husky voice triggered thrills of desire inside Noel’s belly.
He withdrew his slippery fingers. Liam turned around to face him. He could have
been an angel if it wasn’t for his sultry look. They stares into each other’s
eyes, both aware that there would be no turning back. The tension had reached a
peak. Noel was sweating like he rarely had, waiting for Liam’s signal. The boy
was silent, he had lots of things he wanted to say but the words couldn’t get
past his lips. Fill me. I want you inside. So empty. Take me...That was it,
“Take me now.” He spread his legs for Noel, trying to brush off the last
remnants of apprehension. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to watch or look
away.
The flow of feelings coming from his brother was swamping his soul with love
and desire. Noel’s shadow was covering him. The second after he was pushing
inside him, carefully, holding back his own desire to possess the boy
underneath him.
Liam forgot to breath. He expected it to be painful, it wasn’t that much. Noel
was attentive and gentle. As much as he wanted it, it felt odd and unfamiliar.
However when Noel began to move backwards, he rose his hips to keep him in.
Noel put a hand on his forehead and a kiss on his lips. “breathe Liam. Lemme do
it and it will feel nice.” The boy nodded silently.
Slowly, slowly. Back and forth. As powerful and regular as the rocking of sea.
Noel’s body was meeting his like the waves hit the shore.
Liam was giving in under the weight of his brother. He was overwhelmed by his
own desire melting in the impalpable flow of emotions coming from Noel. It was
almost too much for him to handle. He was losing his sanity in the most
exquisite way, giving up both his body and his soul to his older brother. He
wasn’t sure that Noel fully realised what it meant for him.
Little by little the pace stepped up. He wrapped his arms around his sibling’s
back. Their faces were almost touching. Liam was panting close to Noel’s ear.
His deep and raw moans were only arousing him more.
Noel used the little breath he had left to whisper to Liam, “Is it alright....
if I come inside you?”
The boy drew him closer, and exhaled an inarticulate but convinced “Yes”.
They reached their orgasm almost at the same time. Liam was first, his inner
muscles clenched around Noel who came a few seconds after.
Noel collapsed on Liam, drained from his energy but feeling extraordinary light
and serene. His hair were sticking to his forehead and all his body was still
burning. Liam was just as hot. They were a sticky mess of intertwined legs and
arms. Liam’s eyes were closed and he looked peaceful.
The morning sun was bathing them in its light, unaware of what just had just
happened.
Chapter End Notes
     At last i could write a rather light chapter!I felt like the boys
     deserved a break from the constant drama!
***** Loving and Leaving *****
Summer was the season of great upheavals. A hot and stifling day could turn
into a stormy night. Humans feelings are like the weather. A sunny day can’t
last forever.  
Every moment spent with Noel was a gift. Every hour of happiness he stole from
fate was precious. Liam had  robbed so many seconds that he couldn’t remember
all of them. The lie was so perfect he started to believe it. Maybe, he just
wanted to forget the truth. Maybe it was Noel’s fault. His kisses were soft and
his hands loving so he could forget how it began.  
Blood must feed on blood.Sometimes, his old man’s words were ringing in his
head like a grim bell and he knew his love was doomed from the beginning. In
the meantime he wanted to grab all the happiness he could get and forget about
the future.  
*** 
The air was hot and still. Even a breeze would have been a relief for the
players on the field. The men were wearing loose shirts and light cotton pants.
Liam was trying to catch his breath after running up and down the pitch. His
shirt was sticking to his back and sweat was rolling along his temples.  
Football was a popular sport in England. It was considered a healthier way to
spend time rather than smoking opium or chasing loose women. The boys enjoyed
it for what it was: a sport and a way to have fun while competing with each
other.  
It was too hot to play, nevertheless they wouldn’t have missed a chance to kick
the ball. Liam and Noel weren’t in the same team. They were playing with Paul
and a handful of boys who were the children of the servants. Sally was there
too. She was supposed to be the referee. However somehow she had swapped her
dress for trousers. She was now on the field and she was as intent on winning
as the boys if not even more.  
Noel had the ball and he was quickly moving toward the goal. Liam threw himself
in front of him. The older stopped the ball. He was pondering whether he should
pass or feint. His brother was getting dangerously close, their eyes met. Noel
couldn’t help but stare at him, forgetting for a split second what he was
doing. And it was over. Liam had stolen the ball. He gave Noel a cheeky grin.
Noel hissed a faint “Cunt”.  
He overhead Sally shouting him to pay more attention to what he was doing.
Unconcerned, he turned around to see how Liam was doing. It was too hot to run
anyway. The boy had almost reached the other end of the pitch after dribbling
past the two defenders. He kicked the ball with determination. Noel was sure he
would score but Bonehead jumped on the pitch and caught the ball. Noel and his
teammates  cheered. Liam swore loudly and took the puppy in his arms. It seemed
that he was scolding him for the joke. The kids next to him laughed. Noel
wished he had heard the funny thing Liam had said.  
Sally gave a light punch to his shoulder. “let’s make the dog our goalkeeper!”
the young Earl smiled, “I’m not sure that it’s a good idea.” 
* 
It seemed to Noel that he had run for miles. All his muscles ached and
Bonehead’s intervention hadn’t been enough to keep them from losing. Sally was
actually good at it. She even scored their only point.  
Liam was raising his arms in victory and he got rid of his wet shirt. “Not only
we lost but I have to bear the sight of your topless ugly brother.” Sally was
rolling her eyes with annoyance. Noel frowned silently. Ugly. That girl must
have been blind. 
“You’re ruining this lady’s view. Get your shirt back on!” yelled Noel.
Obviously, he wasn’t doing it to please Sally. Unfortunately, it was already
too late. One of the boy hissed, impressed “Your girl must be quite eager to
left those many hickeys.” He pointed at all the love bites. Noel was fuming. He
knew no-one could imagine that he was the one who marked Liam but he still
hated that they saw it. His brother blushed stupidly.  
“Why do you think it’s a girl? ” retorted Noel coldly. His comment confused
Liam even more. The older grinned slyly as his brother don his shirt back with
embarrass. The kids were looking at him with eyes wide open. Same sex love
wasn’t part of their mentality nor education. Noel blamed himself for being so
quick to answer. “If it’s not a girl it’s an older lady.” He corrected. The
puzzled faces turned into knowing smiles.  
Liam had regained a bit of dignity. “She’s a fucking beauty and you’d all be
envious if you knew her.” Noel chuckled lightly, wondering if he was still
talking about him. Despite himself, he felt flattered that his idiot of a
brother was indirectly bragging about him.  
*** 
Liam was humming a tune as he soaped his arms. Bathing was the best way to end
a hot day. He sunk in the bathtub to wash his hair. When he poked his head out
of the water, he noticed Noel had silently walked into the room. They looked at
each other awkwardly. Sometimes, the border between brother and lover was so
thin that it was confusing them both.  
His long lashes fluttered lazily. He tucked his knees to his chest. “You can
come in.” He offered. His brother glanced at the door. Liam sighed, “Just turn
the fucking key. S’not like it’s forbidden to take a bath with your brother.” 
“Because you’d take a bath with Paul? ” 
“’course not!” Liam protested.  
Noel locked the door and kneeled next to the bathtub. His arms rested on the
porcelain edge and the tip of his finger was teasing the surface of the water.
Under the reflects and distortions of the surface he could see Liam’s chest, so
small, so juvenile. It made his guts twist. His skin was smooth except around
his crotch where thick hairs were gathering around his member. He even had a
love bite on his inner thigh. 
Their first weeks had been a dream up until the day they made love. Noel had
been thinking this whole time he was waiting for Liam to be ready and actually
it turned out he was the one who wasn’t prepared. He knew Liam was alright with
it. He knew how he looked when he was full of desire for him and hard in his
arm. However, Liam was young and suggestible. He’d do anything to please him
and get his attention. More, his recognition. Noel’s fingers curled in the
water. He turned toward Liam, making an effort to look at him in the eyes. 
“I’d love you even if we weren’t... having sex.” He blurted out. He wondered
how the words had escaped his lips because he wasn’t drunk nor high. 
Liam twitched in his bath and straightened up.  
“What d’ya mean?” Liam was puzzled or maybe he just pretended not to
understand.  
Noel was on that slippery slope. Again. Liam was making him feel vulnerable and
he hated it.  
“I just mean you don’t have to do it.”   
“I knew you were thinking about some shit.” The tone of his voice shifted to
irritated. “’m not your fucking whore. If I’m doing it, it’s only because I
want it.” He stressed the last part of the sentence. Noel’s face remained
serious.  
“I forgive you if you give us a kiss, la.” Liam’s voice was now light and
playful. The guilt inside Noel’s belly dissolved and faded until it was so dull
he could pretend it wasn’t there. He bent over the bathtub and combed Liam’s
wet fringe backwards. His blue eyes were mesmerising. Noel wouldn’t admit it
but his beauty was out of this world. He cupped his brother’s face in his hands
and their lips touched. Eagerly, Liam forced his tongue inside Noel’s mouth.
His arm circled his brother’s body. The wet fabric stuck to Noel’s back like a
caress. He was losing it again. His hands gripped Liam’s shoulder possessively.
Will he show this other mark to the boys? 
Liam moaned helplessly. Noel’s mouth was hot and soft. His hand wandered from
Noel’s back to his bum, sliding under the fabric of his trousers. He was almost
waiting for Noel step back but he didn’t. Liam had already thought about it
thoroughly. When Noel was with Clint, he was the one being taken. God, he had
almost witnessed it! It had been stuck in his mind for days now. He wanted to
know what he’d be like to be inside Noel. There was no way the stupid shepherd
had done it and he wouldn’t. 
Liam moulded the curve of his bum with his hand, barely brushing the skin. Noel
froze but Liam couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. He pulled back but didn’t
push off his hand.  
“Fucking calm down, kid.” He whispered fondly.  
A sulky pout appeared on Liam’s lips. “I can’t even remember the last time we
shag cause you’re such a priest. Father Noel! ” he said in a provocative tone. 
Stung, the older brother decided to fight back. He got closer to Liam’s ear and
articulated each word with a voice that sounded like velvet, “Be a good boy,
wash yourself clean and I’m gonna show you something”. Liam’s eyes opened wide.
His brother’s  tone was enough to arouse him and give him goosebumps. 
Curious and turned on, he asked hastily, “What is it Noely?” 
“There are more ways to pleasure you with my tongue than you can imagine.”  
His little riddle was enough to silence Liam. Noel noticed he was already half
hard, “Don’t fucking jerk off until tonight.”  
Obediently, Liam nodded.  
*** 
“Noel won’t dine with us. He said he was very tired.” Paul announced to his
brother.  
“What? But I saw him about an hour ago and he was just fine. That cunt must be
lying.” Liam’s fist was clenched and his lips pursed. “’m gonna get him.” 
“You’re such a pain, Liam. Give him a break.” Complained the elder brother.
Liam shrugged, ignoring Paul’s opinion. “Don’t wait for me for the dinner. I’m
gonna check on Noel. I’ll tell ya if he’s sick or if it’s just that period of
the month.” 
Liam was rushing in the corridors with an angry look on his face. The servants
got out of his way like pigeons flying away from a carriage. Liam was sure it
was an excuse to avoid him. Noel was all words and no actions. He was certain
his brother didn’t want to give him the treat he had promised earlier.  
Liam knocked on the door as if he had planned to break it down. Noel’s voice
rose from behind, “The door’s opened, fucking lunatic!”. 
When Liam walked in the curtains were closed. Suddenly, he wasn’t so sure that
Noel was lying about not feeling well. In the gloom, he stumbled on the
furniture, getting closer to the bed. “You’re really sick, then?” he asked
sharply. He heard his brother turning around in the sheets before he answered.
“I told Paul, I want to rest, fuck. I never asked for you.” 
Liam kicked the foot of the bed half heartedly.  
“I shouldn’t have bothered coming then. I’ll let you die in peace.” He
grumbled. 
Noel grabbed his arm to hold him back despite his harsh words. His hand was 
sweaty. “You’re fucking hot.” Liam put his hand on Noel’s forehead. He was
burning, “You have a fever. How’re you feelin’? ” 
“I told you. I’m feeling tired and weak.” 
Liam found a damp cloth to take the heat down. Noel sighed when the cold fabric
made contact with his forehead, “Feels a bit better.” 
Liam kneeled at the foot of the bed, listening to Noel’s respiration. He was
watching after him like a faithful dog. He thought his brother had fallen
asleep because his breathing was calmer. He removed the cloth from his head to
dampen it again. 
Noel had never been sick. Not once. Not even when he was a child. There had
been days, Paul and Liam had been confined to their bed with a bad cold or
bowel disease. Noel never had one. He had always seemed immune to all the
flues, common colds and other jaundices. It  was so unlike him to be sick that
it gave Liam a bad feeling.  
When he came back to the bed, Noel was awakened again. He couldn’t see his face
in the dark but he heard him whimper in pain. 
He forgot about the cloth to hurry by Noel’s side. “What’s going on?”. A few
syllables escaped his brother’s mouth “Worse now... cold, Liam. I’m cold.” His
hands reached out for his young sibling, taking shelter against his chest “It’s
devouring me inside...” He was panting and his eyes were glassy.  
Liam was distraught. Noel’s state had worsened very quickly. He had never seen
him like this. He patted his hair while soothing him with his voice. “You’re
going to be fine. ‘s alright Noel. I’m here. Don’t worry.” His words eased his
brother a little. “I’m going to tell, Mam. Right. I have to tell them you’re
not well.” 
“No, no, no. Don’t left me on my own.” Pleaded Noel. Liam wasn’t used to play
the big brother part or to see Noel so vulnerable. 
“Come closer, Liam...” Anxiety was brimming in his voice as if he was going to
have a panic attack. 
Liam slid under the sheets to wrap himself against Noel. His brother was
shivering and cold although he was sweaty. Liam’s firm hold appeased Noel. He
stopped trembling. Liam fell asleep with his brother in his arms. Noel had
plunged into slumber as well. 
*** 
A dream. He was lost inside the maze of hedges. A scene was playing before his
eyes. Red fangs in the night. Oh, the pain. Noel had never forgotten the pain.
He ran away as fast as he could. There was something in his back, something
chasing him. If he turned back he couldn’t see it but he knew there was
something. Something in his back. Noel knew. All the shadows weren’t shadows.  
A memory. White fangs turning red. His fangs. What? His fangs deep inside his
neck. Liam’s neck. The boy is limp in his arms. He’s not dead because his heart
is beating. Carmine all over his white chest and inside his body. What have you
done? Carmine on Noel’s lips and inside his belly. What has he done? Liam
straightened up in his arms. So pale he could almost dissolve into the air. He
ignored Noel. Put a foulard around his neck. Oh yeah, put a pretty foulard
around that all that blood.  Still bleeding. Bleeding out your soul. 
*** 
Noel woke up abruptly, feeling uneasy. The nightmare was still sticking to his
skin. He couldn’t help but put a finger inside his mouth just to be sure. There
was nothing, no freaky  fangs, just his teeth. He almost laughed at his own
stupidity. There was no reasons he’d have fangs. He also checked on Liam who
was peacefully sleeping. He was safe and unharmed. It was just a dream. He
could never hurt Liam.  
Noel was still feeling terrible. Every muscle in his body ached. At least, the
crushing anxiety of the night had faded away. He put a silent and chaste kiss
on his brother’s lips. 
He was still feverish and also nauseous. He tried to get out of the bed without
waking his brother. When his feet touched the ground, he felt dizzy. The whole
room was dancing as if he had been on board of a ship caught in a tempest. He
tried to hang on to the walls but it wasn’t enough to prevent him from
falling. 
Liam was woken up by the sound and he jumped out of bed as soon as he figured
out the situation. He knelt next to his brother. “’alright Noel?” the older
brother answered positively and asked for Liam’s help to get up. 
“I want to go downstairs. We need to have a breakfast.” 
“Sure, but you can go in your nightwear.” 
Noel got dressed slowly under Liam’s attentive watch. They walked down the
stairs cautiously. Noel’s legs were still giddy but he reached the dining room
without falling. 
Concerned looks showed on everyone’s faces when they walked in. 
“You’re so pale, son. Maybe you should rest in your room. I’ll have someone to
bring you your breakfast.” 
Noel rejected her idea. He could do it and he didn’t want to spend another hour
in bed. 
“I think I’ll ask for a doctor.” Suggested Liam with concern. Noel rolled his
eyes, “You’re burying me too soon, soft bastard.” 
However, Peggy nodded at the other end of the table. 
“Maybe you should ask for Patsy. She’s no doctor but I’ve heard she’s worked
miracles with the son of the nurse. She’s the wife of that merchant who is
running the shop of exotic items.” 
“We do know that shop, mom” Noel snapped with exacerbation. 
“You don’t get to talk when you’re ill.” She gave Noel a serious glance before
coming back to Liam, “Ask for Patsy, everyone says she’s very kind and she
knows her way with simples and decoctions. ” 
“They also say she’s a bit of a witch.”  Paul added, raising his eyebrows
comically. 
“It’s just the scaremongering of old women.” Corrected Peggy.  
*** 
Liam was back to the familiar shop. When he pushed the door a little bell rang
and Patsy’s husband welcomed him. He hadn’t changed a bit. He was obsequious as
ever. Liam despised people like him. He could never be sure what the rotund
little man was thinking. He wanted to slap him whenever he saw him but he had
to restrain himself. 
“I am here to see your wife, sir.” 
“Young men generally try to be more subtle when they come to steal your wife.”
The merchant joked. 
Liam smiled with embarrass. “I just want her to see me brother because he’s
been really sick since yesterday.” 
“May you forgive this little jest, Sir William. She will be happy to obliged if
it’s for the Gallagher family.” Liam nodded. When he saw Patsy coming from the
back of the shop,  
he waved at her warmly. 
“What brought you here?” She asked with a bright smile. 
“Unfortunately, me brother Noel is ill and...” She caught up instantly, “Of
course I understand. I’m going to grab some herbs and then we’re on our way.”
Liam acquiesced with relief. He watched her as she gathered everything she
needed. Her blond hair seemed about to escape her loose bun and fall over her
shoulders. Her movements were precise and gracious. She looked like a swan in
human form, freely swimming in the room. Her pales hands were flying between
the pestles, vials and other alembics. She put everything she needed in a
leather pouch and they exited the shop. 
Liam took her hand courteously to help her climb in the carriage. She asked him
more about Noel’s disease. “I need to see him to tell you more precisely what’s
going on. It can’t be too bad. Lord Noel is young and tough.” 
Patsy was a charming woman, as smart as she was beautiful.  
“How can you stay with such a cunt of a husband?” asked Liam  out of blue. He
thought she was too good for him. She laughed because she was surprised by his
brutal honesty. Maybe that’s why she couldn’t help but answer frankly “It’s
convenient. Half of the year he’s away, travelling up hill and down dale. It
gives me all the freedom I need. Moreover, he’s also bringing back rare herbs
from faraway countries for me. Having a convenient marriage is quite a luxury
for a woman.”  
Liam pouted, “I could only be with someone I love.” Wrinkles of amusement
showed in the corners of her eyes. “It’s easy to say when you’re in the prime
of life. Have you already found that special someone?” 
Liam smiled, just a little. “It’s not that easy.” Patsy gave Liam an unreadable
look before she spoke again. “Loving is not supposed to be  easy.” 
*** 
Paul was waiting for them on the stairs of the porch. His face was darkened
with worry. He greeted Patsy courteously before turning toward Liam. “Noel is
calling after you, he collapsed as soon as you left.” 
“Where is he?”  Urged the younger sibling. 
“In his room.” 
Liam rushed toward the east wing with Patsy in his trail. He yanked the door
opened. Noel was in the bed, curled in a foetal position. His heart missed a
beat. “Noel?” The body moved and his brother turned his face towards him. When
he opened his mouth to talk, Liam could see that inside his mouth his fangs
were drawn. The sight of the shiny, sharp teeth made the teenager flinch. He
didn’t dare getting closer. A ghost pain arose in his neck. “Are ya alright
Noel?” The older brother nodded, “I couldn’t hear your heart beat anymore.”
Instead of sounding sweet Liam felt the underlying danger in his brother’s
statement.  
Noel’s fangs were retracted again. He hadn’t even noticed.  
He had blanked out when Liam had gone. The moment, his brother’s heart had
gotten out of reach, the little strength he had left had vanished. He couldn’t
find an explanation for what had happened.  
Liam gestured Patsy to come into the room. She had been watching curiously the
scene that played before her eyes. When she saw Noel, she doubted that he was
actually sick. She asked if she could examine him. 
When he removed his shirt she noticed his skin was diaphanous. She put her
hands on his chest to feel his vital force like her mother had taught her many
years ago. She had never seen anything like this even though she had read about
it. The Earl’s energies were chaotic. It was nothing like a common cold or even
any organic disease she had cured. 
“Is it the first time it happens?” she asked. Noel answered positively. Patsy
had inherited from her family occult knowledge as well as the basics of
medicine. From what she could sense, Noel’s disease was the result of a curse
tethered to his blood. She asked him to get dressed again. 
“I know shit about medicine but I thought you’re supposed to listen to his
heart and stuffs.” wondered Liam with concern. “I’m not a doctor, sir William.
The way I work is very different.” 
Liam nodded even if he didn’t understand what she meant. He noticed she was
embarrassed. She took a deep breath before asking her next question. “This may
seem odd but it’s extremely important. Are you aware of any familial curse?
Especially blood curses.” Noel’s face turned livid and his lips pursed. Liam
looked angry. “We don’t know about anything like that!” He exclaimed loudly.
Patsy had the feeling that he was lying. She wasn’t blaming him. Each family
had its dirty secrets. Her voice was very calm when she answered “I didn’t mean
to be intrusive. I’ll give Noel a decoction that should relieve him a little.” 
* 
By dint of Patsy’s herbal mix Noel was now sleeping peacefully. Liam had
insisted on escorting the healer home himself.  
He was quite drunk. It was the only way he had found to ease his anxiety. He
didn’t want to talk about it in front of Noel but he needed to know what Patsy
had found when she had examined him. The words were burning his tongue already
loosen by the alcohol, “Can you tell me more about this curse?” She smirked, “I
thought you said there was no such thing.” The teenager looked genuinely upset.
She softened because of his angel face, “You know, I’m concerned about Noel. I
couldn’t sense much but I know it won’t stop until the blood curse isn’t
assuaged. I don’t know what you need to do in order to allay it but if you know
what to do, do it. Otherwise, Noel could die.” Liam remained silent for the
rest of the ride. He was lost in his thoughts. Occasionally, she glanced at
him. Compared to his good looks her husband was handsome as a toad. However, he
didn’t seem to notice her insisting gazes. He left her on the shop doorstep and
disappeared into the night. 
Late in the evening, Patsy heard a loud knock on the door. Her husband was
talking business in the back of the shop with the opium customers. She opened
the door only to face a wasted Liam. He reeked of alcohol. “I thought you had
returned to the Castle.” She was puzzled.  
His nervousness was reflected in his voice “I can’t face Noel again. I can’t .
I thought I could do it but no.” She let him in and lead him to her room. It
was extremely improper for an honourable lady but she had never been one. 
“Do you want to talk?” She said softly. The young man shook his head. Clumsily,
he put his hands on Patsy’s shoulders. “I want to forget.” She tried to read
his expression, wondering what he was looking for when he came here. His hand
travelled from her shoulders to her neck. At that moment Patsy understood. As
he had said, he had come here to forget. She didn’t know if she should feel
flattered or angry. She wasn’t like wine or cheap prostitute. Yet he had come
here as if he knew she would give him the oblivion he was looking for. 
Her husband would be busy for at least the two hours to come. Liam was fast.
Fast to kiss and fast to come. She wondered if it was really worth it just
because he had angelic eyes. 
She couldn’t let him spend the night so she called a carriage. She entrusted
the wasted young man to the coachman. “Don’t do anything reckless, William.” He
laughed flatly, “I can’t promise. Anyway, thank you for tonight.” 
He slouched on the bench seat, rubbing his forehead with his cold hands in an
attempt to clear his mind. He wondered if it was cheating. Actually, he thought
he couldn’t cheat on Noel even if he wanted to because nothing was comparable
to their relationship. Any other sex he could experiment was meaningless. The
moment he had come with Patsy he hadn’t felt anything. It was done. A case had
been tickled. There was nothing more to it.  
Liam was watching the dull moorland going by the window. Now, he had calmed
down a little. He knew what he would do even if it was difficult. 
*** 
When he entered Noel’s room, he was still sleeping. Liam knelt next to the bed.
He wanted to engraved the moment in his memory. “I will always love you.” He
whispered into Noel’s ear before kissing him. 
He had prepared a goblet and a knife. He stared at the sharp blade, already
anticipating the pain to come. He pressed the cold metal against his skin and
realised it wasn’t that simple to cut his own flesh. It had been so easy when
Noel had bitten him. He had had nothing to do, just bear it.  
His grip around the knife tightened “Man up for fuck sake!” he muttered to
himself as he cut a large wound in his arm. He suppressed his scream and bite
his tongue until the goblet was half full. The cut was drying quickly so he had
to open it again to get enough blood. He put a bandage around his arm when he
was done. He was shaking. Noel’s bite was a caress compared to the eager blade
of the knife. 
His voice was low and tender when he woke his brother up. “Noel. Noel, open
your eyes. Here drink this, you’ll feel better.” He brought the goblet to  his
sibling’s mouth and inclined it. He wondered what Noel’s reaction would be. He
was prepared to face the bloodthirsty beast who was sleeping within his
brother’s body. He would give him what he needed.  
 
When Noel woke up he was filled with confusion. Liam was making him drink
something. It tasted familiar yet he didn’t recognise it at first. Then he
understood, it was metallic and thick. Like blood. He spat the liquid with
disgust, staining Liam’s shirt in red. “Are you crazy?” He yelled at his
brother.  
Liam wasn’t ready to face Noel, his brother. He had hoped the beast within him
would pop out as soon as he’d taste the blood. He wasn’t expecting Noel to
resist. He didn’t know what words he should use to justify his actions, he only
knew it was a life or death matter to get Noel to drink the blood.  
Noel was shocked and caught completely off guard when Liam slapped him. “You
need to drink.” Noel wanted to protest and kick Liam but he couldn’t. The
teenager had climbed on the bed and he was pinning him on the mattress. He
pinched Noel’s nose to force him to ingest the blood. He made him swallow every
last drop. 
Noel looked at his sibling with hurt and disbelief. We wanted to wash away the
awfully sweet taste of blood. “What have you done? Is it your blood...? Why?...
” So many questions were storming inside his head.  Liam looked away, “You
can’t understand.” He said in a last attempt to hide the truth. 
“You owe me a fucking explanation, Liam.” His voice was calm, almost cold but
he couldn’t suppress the anger in his expression. Liam freaked out because he
had never seen his brother like that.  
“I had to. Don’t be mad at me.” 
“That’s not what I am asking. If you don’t answer my question I’ll leave this
place and you’ll never hear of me ever again.” 
Liam’s heart rate quickened. Threats were working great on him. 
“I don’t even know where to start...”  
“It’s not complicated. Start with the fucking beginning.” 
Liam clenched his jaw, he knew he wasn’t good with words. 
“You are sick. You need to feed on my blood to survive.” 
The first thought that crossed Noel’s mind was that Liam had gone nuts. The
poor kid couldn’t handle their relationship and now he had gone full on
crazy.  
Then, he remembered his dream. The fangs, Liam’s blood. And the taste. He
wanted to rip off his own face just thinking about how sweet Liam’s blood
tasted.  
“Get off me.” He ordered in a toneless voice. Liam obeyed to huddle up at the
foot of the bed. He was just a shadow in the dark. He couldn’t see Noel either.
Silent tears ran down his cheeks. “What else do you have to confess?” 
“Nothing, Noel I swear! I swear! ”  
“You’re a liar!” His accusation pierced Liam’s heart more surely than a
spear.  
“I remember now. I remember everything and you lied to me.” 
Noel was hanging between a black anger and an abyss of despair. “I was just
protecting you, us! ” Claimed Liam with tears in his voice.  
Noel wasn’t listening to him anymore “You let me hurt you. I could have killed
you! How could I live with that? And you lied and lied and lied again. I don’t
want to see your face ever again!” Liam throw himself on Noel’s chest
repetitively asking for forgiveness.  
“GET OUT” Noel’s anger exploded in this last sentence that sounded like a
scream or the cry of a hurt animal.  
Defeated and destroyed from the inside Liam walked out off the room. 
*** 
Liam had obeyed like the good boy he always was. Noel hadn’t seen his face for
days. Yet he was feeling better in a sickening way. Liam’s blood had healed him
and he hated his brother for that. He hated himself even more. 
The day before, he had started thinking about a solution. Actually it wasn’t a
solution because it wouldn’t solve anything. He had prepared everything to be
ready the next day.  
* 
Noel’s room was only lightened by a candle. It was the early morning. The first
birds were singing in the trees. He was getting ready to go. Clint was waiting
for him in the courtyard.  
When he got dressed, he caught the reflection of his naked body in the mirror.
He was really thin. Instead of donning his clothes, he stood in front of his
twin in the glass. His face was only showing a frown and a tired gaze. He tried
to smile but it made him look even more pitiful.  
He touched his own neck. There was no scars there but his skin had been torn
out so many times it was very sensitive. He clenched his fist thinking that he
had inflicted to Liam the same nightmare he had lived with Tommy. 
A knock broke the silence. Noel got dressed quickly and opened. Sally was at
the door. She was looking at him coldly. “Are you leaving? It’s Liam who is
asking. That weird kid told me he ‘sensed’ you were running away.”.  Noel let
her in but he was irritated. He hated when Liam was working his little magic.
“For once he’s not lying. I’m leaving.”  
Sally’s gaze was judgemental. “You must really have a heart of stone to treat
your own brother like shit.” Noel snorted. No one had the right to criticise
his way of acting with Liam, not even her. It didn’t even matter who was wrong
and who was right, he just felt like no-one had the right to judge because no-
one could understand.  
“I have my reasons. You don’t know what happened.”  
She grabbed his wrist forcefully. “Maybe I don’t know but I know that Liam has
cried every day since then.”  
II hurt. It hurt so much there was no way he would let her know. “You can tell
him that all his tears can’t fix what he broke. It’s too late. If you have
nothing more to tell me than reproaches you can leave already. Clint is waiting
for me.”  
She laughed in a  humourless way. “Funny thing, Liam gave me something for you
if you were really leaving so there it is. I’m only doing it for him.” She
threw a book on the ground at Noel’s feet and left without any other words.  
Noel hesitated before he picked up the object. It was a bound book. Curious, he
opened it and instantly recognised the handwriting. Tommy.  
His hands shook. Was it a cruel joke from Liam? A way to remind him of his
failure?  
A letter had been folded between the pages. It was from his brother. He didn’t
want to read it but the words were jumping before his eyes and he just couldn’t
help himself.  
   Noel, 
I have so much to say I find it difficult to say anything at all. You know I’m
not good with words and shit so I’ll be brief. I have two messages for you.  
First, I gave you this book because I found some answers inside. Read it even
if it makes you throw up.  
Second, come back to me one day. Don’t make it too late.  
Yours, always.  
    LG 
 
The ink had faded where a single tear had fallen. Noel smirked painfully. He
imagined Liam crying over the letter. 
A second tear crashed on the paper and Noel understood it wasn’t Liam who had
cried.  
He rubbed his eyes to pretend he wasn’t wiping away the tears. “Fuck” he
muttered at he shove the letter and the book inside his bag.  
***** The Moorlands *****
Chapter Summary
     Noel discovers a new life with Clint while Liam tries to handle the
     loss of his brother with drugs and alcohol. At the castle, an
     unexpected character from Liam's past shows up again. The brothers
     have to face their true feelings and reveal dark truths that were
     buried a long time ago.
Chapter Notes
     It's a long chapter! I added new secondary characters and dug deeper
     in the main characters' past and feelings.
The sprawling city of Manchester was never sleeping. There was always something
to do, some place to watch something, somewhere to meet someone. In and out
their homes and into the streets, the people of Manchester were always busy. If
they weren’t working they were socialising or just doing both. Even at night,
the electrical lights granted the town an artificial sun to keep on fussing.
Life in the moorlands was very different. There was no one to talk to but the
wind and nothing more to see but a tract of heathers and poor grass stretching
away as far as the eye could see. Clint’s place was the only trace of
civilisation around. At first Noel hated it there. He couldn’t see himself
staying more than a week.Behind him, were the woods and even further Burnage
castle. Before him, Clint’s home and long days of summer. In between, nowhere
to escape.
The dark stoned shanty was leaning against the sheep pen. They seemed to be two
old friends relying on each other not to crumble.Clint only had one bedroom, a
kitchen and a living room. There wasn’t much furniture and each one of them was
bearing the marks of a long history.
Noel had only taken with him Liam’s letter, Tommy’s journal, a few shirts and a
pair of trousers. He didn’t know how long he’d stay. He hadn’t thought about
it. As long as Clint wasn’t kicking him out he’d be fine.
The older man made room for Noel’s belongings in his wardrobe. He added a plate
to his table and a shared his weed during their spare time.
Clint had never asked Noel to take part of the daily chores of the farm but
Noel didn’t feel like laying around all day. He’d go insane.
Clint got up early every morning. Noel was usually following in the next hour.
He had never had a job in his life and he found out he wasn’t keen on working.
He was only exhausting his body to distract his mind.
                                      ***
The sun was high in the sky. Noel and Clint were laying under a beech. Its
leafs were rustling with the breeze. The sheep were sleeping in the sun while
the lambs were chasing each other.
“I think Liam would love the sheep.” Even if Noel avoided thinking about his
brother, he couldn’t help but talk about him.
“I bet he’d love them, indeed. He even has a herding dog.”
Noel scoffed, “Wait, that’s Bonehead who’s supposed to be a herding dog? He’s
pretty much useless you know. Like owner, like dog!”
Clint rolled his eyes, “You can’t just shut that big gob of yours. He’s your
brother, man. You can’t be mad for ever.”
Noel looked thoughtful. He plucked a blade of grass and ripped it in smaller
parts. Sometimes, he really wanted to explain what he was feeling but it was
difficult. He’d have to explain something he wasn’t understanding himself and
talk about events he’d rather forget. Sometimes, he tried to get it out
nevertheless. It made him feel like walking on a tightrope. Each step was a
carefully chosen word. A part of himself also wanted to spit out the truth and
fall into the void below. Maybe, it’d be easier than walking on this
tightrope?“You know. Liam... He’s a bit like opium. He takes you so high you
even forget that there is a ground below. It only means it’ll hurt harder when
you fall. He’s like the best drug you ever had. Sweet and toxic.”
The shepherd rose a doubtful eyebrow, “Don’t get all posh on me Mr I Am
Educated. That’s your brain talkin’ not your heart.”
Clint lowered his straw hat on his eyes and stretched out his arm to reach Noel
and bring him closer before he could protest.
“We must look like a couple of proper poofs.” Said the Earl with self-derision.
“Who cares. There’s no one to watch. And can’t you shut up now. I’m tryin’ to
sleep.”
***
It was funny how things had changed since Noel left. Peggy wasn’t smiling as
often as she did. Paul didn’t say a word. It was as if he wasn’t surprised by
the turn of events. The phonograph was almost always playing in Liam’s room and
if it wasn’t it meant he wasn’t there.
Most of the time, Liam was able to put up with his day almost normally. He
hadn’t cried after Noel had abandoned him. Instead, he had turned all the
sadness into anger because if he hadn’t, it would have crushed him. He blamed
himself for not trying harder to keep Noel. He blamed Noel for running away
from him. However, he never questioned their relationship. He knew Noel would
come back to him. He didn’t have a choice. He was tethered to him through life
and death.
***
Peggy had invited all the nobles from the surroundings for a big event. Liam
wasn’t in the mood to have a reception and a ball. He was in the right mood to
get drunk and dirty. However, Peggy had insisted, she wanted him to behave. To
please his mother, he had taken upon himself to be polite and charming.
“Would you dance with me?” Asked a pretty brunette. Liam didn’t know her and he
declined courteously. He had a knack for stepping over his partner’s feet but
he had no clue how to waltz. Instead of searching for another partner, she
stayed awkwardly around Liam. The young man offered her a drink to break the
silence. “I have never seen ya around.” Stated Liam, trying to show interest.
She answered warmly “I’m from Liverpool! We were told that Lady Peggy was
looking for a spouse to marry her eldest son...” Her lashes fluttered over her
dark eyes. She hesitated before she talked again. “So I was wondering, are you
Paul?” She blushed, surprised by her own boldness. Liam smiled mischievously.
“What if I was?”
“Oh, well... I... I mean. I’d be very happy! No, no... Don’t get the wrong
idea. I’m not like that!” She stuttered with embarrassment.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you then. Paul is over there.” He waved at the other
end of the ballroom. She didn’t even bother looking. “Who might you be then?
Are you Noel? We were told lots of good things about him.” Liam lost his smile.
“I ain’t Noel either. And you know, he’s not that good!”
“So you must be William.” She said with a slight but noticeable disappointment.
The tales about the young William were drawing a grim picture. He was known for
recent bar brawls and his rude behaviour. The brunette was surprised he was
even able to fool her with his pleasant manners.
“Excuse me. I have to go. My father didn’t want me to move away from him.” She
smiled apologetically before she was swallowed by the moving and colourful
crowd dancing in the ballroom.
Liam swallowed his champagne in two thirsty lumps. People were annoying.
He was planning to escape the party. Now that all the guests had seen his sorry
face, he figured he could just slip out while they were all busy with their
stupid dances and empty talks.
“Long time no see, Liam!” The teen startled. He recognised that voice. His old
rival, Baron Williams, was already giving him a suffocating but warm hug. “Let
go off me, Robbie!” The man winked while sticking the tip of his tongue out.
“Is that how you welcome your old pal? That’s rude.”
Liam brushed his jacket with mocked disgust. “You haven’t changed, you filthy
animal. How’s things?”
Robbie’s smile broadened. “Fine, just fine. Life without you is a lot more
boring. I miss our...”
Liam interrupted him, “Give it a rest man. That’s not something you or I want
to talk about.“ His tone was half playful half threatening.
The older man smirked and rose an eyebrow. “My mouth is sealed!” He gulped down
his wine and licked his lips with satisfaction. “I’m happy Noel isn’t there.
I’m sure he still resents me.” The teenager pursed his lips at the mention of
his big brother. “By the way, Liam. Where is he? I’ve heard many rumours and I
bet none is true.
—Oh yeah... And what do they say?” Hissed Liam between gritted teeth.
Unaware of his attitude shift Robbie kept on prattling. “Some said he went to
India. Others told me he had ran off with his secret lover. My favourite is
this one because it’s absurd. Allegedly, he would have left to raise sheep in
the moorlands.”
Liam swept away the glasses from one of the tables in a sudden outburst of
anger. “What do they know about him?”
All the guests turned around at the sound of broken glass, staring at Liam with
curiosity or repulsion. A hubbub of confused voices rose after an outraged
silence. Liam muttered a swear word before he escaped the ballroom. The sound
of his steps echoed in the corridors as he ran out of the castle. When he
reached the porch he was out of breath. He sat on the stairs, huddling up on
himself and shaking with irrepressible sobs.
Most days he was able to carry on with his life almost normally. Most days.
Almost.
He slapped his own cheek to get a grip on himself. His legs were giddy when he
stood up. His feet lead him to the stables. He called out the coachman. The man
was always in the surroundings of his horses. He was very calm and quiet.
That’s probably why he put up so nicely with the animals. Some thought he
wasn’t actually quiet, he was just mute. However Liam knew Guigsy — it was the
name the coachman answered to — could turn into a chatty lad if you were good
enough to treat him with a pint.
“Guigs, where are you? I need to go down to Manchester!” Liam’s voice made the
horses neigh. A lanky man emerged from the haystacks. “Aye, Liam... I cannot do
that, m’lord. I’m sorry.” Liam frowned, upset as a child who has been grounded.
“Why’s that ?
—It’s your dear mother, sah. She’s worried ‘bout ya. She told me not to take
you to Manchester, sah.”
The poor devil was embarrassed, divided between his loyalty to his mistress and
his young lord. “Com’on. We’ll go to the pub together.” Liam tried to coax him
but the coachman shook his head. “Your poor mother would chop me head off if I
were to do that.”
Liam understood perfectly why Peggy was worried. Going down to Manchester was
actually a synonym for getting wasted. There had been times Guigs had recovered
Liam passed out in some shady bars, others he had found him badly bruised and
bearing a black eye. No wonder why Peggy was worrying.
“You’re no fun.” Muttered Liam.
                                      ***
Robbie had been puzzled by Liam’s attitude. He knew his mate wasn’t easy going
but he generally understood what motivated his mood swings. In this case, he
didn’t know what had triggered his reaction. He was feeling bad about it so he
searched for Liam. He finally found the young man in front of the stables.
 “Liam! I was looking for you! I wanted to apologise about earlier...”
The young man gave him an unconcerned look. “Don’t worry about it. It’s
forgotten. More importantly, do you have your own carriage?”
Robbie was relieved that Liam was back to normal. “Yes, I have. It’s over
there. Why?” Liam smiled with the mischief of a child ready to surprise
everyone with a good prank. Except that he wasn’t a child and adult’s pranks
weren’t funny at all.
“What about you and I spend some quality time to catch up on everything? I know
a bar that brews the best beer you’ve ever tasted.
—I guess I can’t say no.”
                                      ***
Noel didn’t sleep at night and when he did he was haunted by visions of Liam.
Generally, he spent an hour twisting and turning in his bed — Clint’s bed —
before he fall into oblivion.
During the day, it was easier to avoid thinking. The sheep needed care and
attention. Clint’s was also always trying to distract him. Noel wondered how
much he understood about the situation. He had only told him that he had had a
massive fight with Liam. Nothing more.
 
                                      ***
The moonlight was filtering through the curtains. Everything seemed to be
frozen in time. Noel was hugging his pillow, shutting his eyes so hard that it
was actually impossible he could fall asleep.
He sighed with frustration and sent the pillow away. He was so tired it was
unfair that he couldn’t sleep. His thoughts kept coming back to Liam. He
couldn’t even say he was still angry. He was disappointed in him but at the
same time it dug a hole in his chest to be apart from him. Everyday the hole
was deeper and larger.
 He missed his brother.
He remembered lots of silly little things during his sleepless nights.
Sometimes, he was thinking about their childhood. Liam had always looked up to
him. Tommy had scared the little boy since the day he understood enough to know
what pain was. From his early years, he had always counted on Noel to act as a
substitute father. He remembered how Liam always wanted his attention and how
often he’d found his little brother staring at him with admiration. Even back
then, there had been times he had pushed the boundaries of what he had the
right to do.
                                      ***
Liam was around his thirteen when he met the baron Williams. The pair instantly
got along. They were always competing over silly things. To know which one was
stronger, which one was the most popular with girls, who could pull the best
pranks...
 At the same moment, Noel was going through a difficult time. It had taken him
years to accept it, but he had finally came to the conclusion that girls didn’t
attract him as much as boys did. He was somehow jealous of Liam’s normality
when he felt like an outcast.
His little brother who had always looked up to him was finally growing up and
getting a life outside of Noel’s life. It was unbearable.
He remembered that day very well. It was the beginning of the summer. All the
kids were out, playing football as usual. Liam and Robbie were together. The
pair was crushing Noel’s team. The ball was easily moving between the two of
them and everyone was admiring how synchronous they were. Noel was fuming,
giving his best to counter their joint attack. He wasn’t good enough. Robbie
beat him every time.
In the end, Noel felt so disgusted he stopped trying to oppose them. He wanted
Liam to notice he wasn’t alright but the boy only cared for his mate.
When the game ended, Noel left without a word. Liam finally realised something
wasn’t right. He tried to hold back his brother but Noel brushed his arm off
with a black look. Robbie told Liam to let Noel go. He was just bitter that he
lost.
Noel took shelter in the music room. He was almost sure no-one would look for
him there. He sat at the piano without playing. It seemed that the silence was
bigger and purer than in any other room. His fingers brushed the keyboard. He
pushed one of the key. The sound was faint and died softly. The room remained
undisturbed. He wondered what was going on with him. Unlike what Robbie had
said, it wasn’t about winning a stupid game. It was about Liam. That much he
understood.
The sound of the door opening made him startle. He was ready to drive the
intruder out but when he stood up he saw Liam. Robbie was following him of
course. None of them had noticed Noel so he squatted down. He felt like an
idiot. Why was he even hiding? Maybe, Liam was searching for him?
“Are you sure no-one will find us there?” Robbie looked suspiciously around
him. Liam shrugged, “Noel could but he’s not there, right? See, the curtains
are drawn.”
Noel was thinking fast, he would look ridiculous if he came out of the shadows
now. He had been stupid enough to get trapped in the room.
Liam’s voice was filled with curiosity. “What is it that you wanted to show
me?” Robbie chuckled, “I’ve never done it before but I can tell you it feels
great. Promise you won’t freak out, yeah?
—Sure, you’re like a brother to me. Fuck no, you’re more normal than them. I
mean, fuck me, what a pair of weirdos.”
Noel bit his tongue to restraint himself. He was the first one to be aware of
his oddity.
 “Get your pants off, man.
—WHAT?” Protested Liam.
“You promised not to freak out.
—It doesn’t mean I’ll let you get inside my pants. That’s just wicked.”
Robbie rose a doubtful eyebrows. His blue eyes were sparkling with mischief, “I
already got inside your bally pants, idiot!
—What? The wanking thingy? S’not the same. It happened in the heat of the
moment. Dyaknowotimean.”
Robbie scratched his chin thoughtfully.
“How good did it feel?
—fucking great.” Admitted Liam
“This is even better.” The younger was still hesitating. “I’ll do all the job
and if you don’t like it, I’ll stop. Is it good with you?” Added Robbie.
Finally, he got Liam to agree. Noel heard the sound of his brother’s trousers
being pulled down. He put a hand over his mouth, feeling like he’d rather go
blind that seeing what was to come.
“Your bloody tongue!” Liam was surprised when Robbie knelt and began to lick
the tip of his cock. It was so unexpected, he couldn’t decide whether he liked
it. “Don’t judge me okay. I only had a bird doing it to me only yesterday.”
Said Robbie when he saw Liam’s puzzled face, thinking his technic was to blame.
The younger looked away, “It’s alright. Continue.”
When he got used to it, Liam decided he liked it a lot. He moaned, unaware that
Noel was two steps away with his eyes shut tight. It wasn’t enough, he should
have covered his ears too. The sounds were explicit enough to understand what
was going on. Noel was surprised to realise he was turned on. Just another
reason to bear silently and not interrupt.
“Fuck. Your teeth, Robbie.” Whinged Liam. The boy hummed as an apology.
He was satisfied to see Liam had gotten hard as rock. He wanted to shag the
pretty young Lord since the first time he laid his eyes on him. Liam was
gorgeous. Often, he thought about how he’d love to stick his dick inside him
and how he would make him moan for him.
However, Robbie was wary around his brother’s. He had the feeling they’d kick
his arse if they knew.
The boy let go of Liam’s cock with a wet sound. “Cum for me, William.” He
wrapped his lips around his shaft one last time as Liam was shaking in orgasm.
He sighed with relief.
“Did you really have to swallow it? Can’t taste any good, innit?” questioned
Liam.
Noel wanted to slap his brother and to punch that arrogant baron. He regretted
that he didn’t have the guts to stop them. He had already had weird dreams
about Liam, he was sure this scene would haunt him until the day he would die.
Robbie wiped his mouth. He was feeling really self confident. “I did you good.
I can tell. Give us a reward, will ya?”
Liam’s defiance and his pants were back in place. He snapped with irritation
“Wot?
—A kiss.
—The fuck I’m kissing you. I’m not your bird.”
 Robbie’s face got colder. “Yet I saw you kiss Noel. You’re his little bitch?
—WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?” Roared Liam with anger. He tried to pushed Robbie’s face
away. “I’m not asking you to fuck. Just a kiss!”
 It was what got Noel out of his hiding place. He jumped on Robbie and pushed
him on the floor, “Don’t you touch my little brother!!” He had never known what
rage felt like before. He only knew he was capable of everything for Liam at
that moment. He was out of his mind and barely noticed when he punched Robbie's
face.
Liam separated them and he was equally mad at them.
“I can take care of myself, Noel! What were you doing here anyway? Since when
are you in the fucking room?
—Good thing I was there! Who knows what that pervert would have done to you?
—I wouldn’t have done anything Liam didn’t want!” snapped Robbie. “Mind your
own fucking business! You’re just sick.”
Noel was fuming, “Liam, I fucking forbid you to see that cunt ever again. You
hear me!”
The young lord had never seen his brother in such a state. “Do you think your
my fucking dad?” He yelled.
“Fuck no but I’m your big brother!”
Robbie was caught in the middle of a fight whose complexity he didn’t
understand. He tried to voice his opinion but both the Gallaghers turned
towards him simultaneously and shouted in perfect harmony “SHUT UP ROBBIE!!”
                                      **
Noel laughed to himself. Those were the good old days. Robbie’s face was
priceless.
After that incident, Noel had understood that his love for Liam was running
deeper than brotherly love.
He smiled sadly. How could he ever give up on their precious bond?
 
                                      ***
Robbie was as Liam left him when he was thirteen. He was all over the young
lord. He had never stopped thinking about Liam. No man or woman could beat his
good looks, his charisma and his raw charm.
Between the fourth and fifth beer, Robbie decided he had an important question
to ask. One he was genuinely looking for an answer,
“So tell me William, are you still as much of a virgin as I left you?
—You’re a fucking perverted cunt. What dya reckon?”
Ribbie pouted childishly. When they were younger, Liam shared everything with
him, especially about that topic. However, he knew how to play Liam and
provocation always worked on him, “So you’re still a virgin.”
Liam took a long sip of beer. It was clear for him that Robbie still had a
thing for him that’s why he didn’t snapped back. Instead, he was curious about
how the conversation could turn.
“My man left me, ” There, he had dropped his little bomb and was received with
as much surprise and interest as he intended. He added, “I’m not getting
depressed though. S’not like I’m crying over portraits of him everyday.”
 Making Robbie embarrassed was something Liam considered a little achievement.
He smirked slyly, waiting for his mate’s answer.
“I always knew you liked dicks. It makes me wonder why it wasn’t mine you
liked.”
Liam shrugged, “I don’t like dicks, just his. DyaknowotImean.”
Robbie fiddled with his pint, annoyed by Liam’s revelation. Despite himself, it
arouse his curiosity and an unexpected sense of jealousy for the one man who
could have Liam.
“Maybe he’s fucking exceptional in your eyes but he still let you down.”
The table shook when Liam gave it an unexpected punch, “He’ll come back, I
know. It won’t be long.”
The whole conversation created a chill between the two men and a heavy silence
fell over their table. Liam left the bar after paying for the both of them.
They parted in the street rather coldly.
Inevitably, his steps lead Liam to the opium den. He was unable to deal with
Noel’s absence, trying to fill it with substances and the short and empty bliss
of sex.
He was now a habitué of the shop of exotic items. Most of the time, Patsy even
opened for him an individual room. That night was no exception. She gave him
everything he needed to fly away from reality. The place was conceived to mimic
Chinese design. Red and blue dragons were waving on silken windscreens. They
were holding between their claws white pearls and were painted so vividly it
was easy to imagine them twisting and crawling on the canvas. The light came
from rounds paper lamps hanging from the ceiling. Liam slouched on the sofa.
Opium filled his lungs with smoke and his head with half awaken dreams.
Hanging between two worlds, little details came to his mind again. Noel’s
smell, warm and reassuring. The sound of the rain on the roof. The songs of the
birds filling the first hours of the day. How it felt to be one with him. The
web of a spider covered in dew, shiny little jewel made by mother nature
herself.
The kimono of a Geisha Noel wanted to give him for his birthday. Then came a
time he just felt numb, in his body and in his heart. It was the only moment he
didn’t feel like his soul was about to be split in two.
The door opened and the sudden flow of light made Liam blink. Patsy bent
towards him. “It’s enough Liam. You’ll end up killing yourself.” He wanted to
tell her that the one selling him the opium wasn’t the one to talk but his body
wasn’t responding. Patsy’s face showed fear and she rushed on him. She stuck
her ear against his mouth to check his breath. Each inspiration was shallow and
difficult.
She ran out of the room and came back with a vial full of greenish liquid.
“It’ll fight the opium.” She explained, “You took too much, you could stop
breathing as it goes.” Liam shook his head weakly but she made him drink
anyway. “Don’t be a child, William! You have to live! You have to fight it!
Fight for us!”
Liam didn’t know what she meant by "fight for us". The only person he wanted to
fight for and to fight with was his brother. Helpless tears streamed silently
from his eyes as he sobbed, weak as a newborn child. She took him in her arms
like a mother would, whispering soft and warm words in his ears. Exhaustion
took over him and Liam felt asleep.
                                      ***
Another sun rose over the moorlands. Noel’s heart was heavy. Something was
wrong. He knew what. He was so far away from Liam, he couldn’t hear his heart
beat anymore. He had lived with this sound in his head for so long that he
couldn’t get used to the silence. When he had left castle Burnage, he had
listened to the sound of his brother’s heart getting more and more distant
until it died. He had thought for years that sound was the proof that their
bond was special. Now he realised. Oh, yes it was special, it was the ability
of a predator sensing his prey.
That land held nothing for him. The more time passed the more he was aware of
it. However he didn’t plan to leave as he was now. It was unthinkable.
Sometimes the self loathing was suffocating him and he felt like an anomaly. So
impure that he shouldn’t melt with human beings, let alone his brother. If he
really loved him, he should stay away from him.
That’s why he had to keep his mind busy. When he wasn’t, he was dwelling on all
his problems. He wanted to see Liam but he hadn’t forgiven him. He wanted to go
home but he felt unworthy. He wanted to love Liam but he was the worst thing
that could happen to him. He hated the Moorlands but he belonged to that
sterile piece of Earth.
                                      **
Another night fell over the bleak moorland. Clint and Noel were sharing weed
and a bottle of poorly tasting plonk. Several candles were burning on the
table. Noel idly passed a joint to Clint
The older man closed his eyes as he blew the smoke before he wrapped again his
lips around the fag. The next time, he breath out the smoke inside Noel’s mouth
making him giggle like a teenager. He was fine with the artificial happiness
the weed gave him.
“Liam hates when I blow smoke on his face, the cheeky little cunt.”
Clint smirked, “To annoy my little brother I used to put spiders in his bed...”
Noel sipped his glass of wine with a sparkle in his eyes as he remembered how
Liam himself was as a child.
“My Liam...” He corrected his sentence, “Liam, he hates spiders too. He’d have
peed himself if he had seen one in his bed. He looks fucking brave, innit?
Fucking perfect. But he’s a scaredy cat.”
Noel had told so much to Clint about Liam that he almost felt as if he knew the
boy. He wondered if he could surprise Noel by telling him something he didn’t
know.
“Your kid’s a little poof. You know that?”
Noel’s tone was tinged with annoyance
“I do. But how do you know that?”
If Liam had fucked Clint, Noel swore he’d get the cunt and spank him.
“He told me he loved a man and he didn’t know what he was supposed to do.
—And of course, you showed him like the debauched old man you are.
—I wish... But he wouldn’t have it.”
Noel was satisfied by Clint’s answer but he feigned indifference.
“What a disappointment. You could have told me who is the best shag.”
Clint’s smile revealed his interest.
“I’d need a threesome to compare.”
Noel rose his thick eyebrows, “Brother on brother sex. It must be frowned upon.
—Maybe you could have my dick while I eat Liam out. If you’re not touching it’s
not a sin.
—I always knew you were a pig in human form, Clinton.”
The older man laughed loudly, “How do you think I get off on my own in this
empty house?”
When he took another puff of his joint, his face was serious and Noel sensed he
was about to ask him something important “You know I love having you around.
I’ve been thinking about it for days now. I want you to stay with me.” He took
Noel’s hands in his own. The Earl remained neutral waiting for Clint’s next
sentence.
 “I love you, Noel. Of course it’s not as beautiful here as your bally castle
and I’m not as educated as your aristocratic friends but I will give you
everything you need...”
Noel’s silence was breaking Clint’s heart. He felt foolish. Bloody weed! How
could he even say something that ridiculous?
 Noel wasn’t mocking him, he smiled mirthlessly “And then you’d take me to
church. I think you’re a few centuries too early. You took me in when I was at
my lowest but I can’t. I have a silly little brother waiting for me at home.
—When will you go home, then? Tell me, because you don’t seem ready.”
Clint snapped without letting Noel answer, “I can’t believe you made me be
jealous of you own brother. The only moments you’re not talking about him it’s
because you’re thinking about him. But you won’t go home. I don’t get it.”
Clint wasn’t actually blaming Noel. He couldn’t blame the sky for being blue
nor the birds for singing but Noel’s refusal had upset him even if he had no
reason to expect something from Lord Noel Gallagher.
“I’m going to sleep. Forget about this conversation.”
Noel didn’t say sorry because there was nothing to be sorry about.
                                      **
The grandfather clock rang twice. Noel startled in his bed. His nightgown was
damp and sticking to his skin. His mouth tasted like blood and his fangs had
come out during his sleep. It had happened a few nights since the curse had
awaken.
 The sheets were rolled at the foot of the bed and the pillow had flown away.
With a little concentration he was able to pull the fangs back in.
A bad headache was messing with him. He knew there was no chance he’d sleep
again in the next hour.
Clint’s request was still on his mind. For a split second, he had imagined
living the rest of his live there. It was scary. He didn’t want this life. He
couldn’t have said yes.
However, Clint was right. He wasn’t ready to go home either. He wasn’t even
sure he’d be ready one day but he wanted to try something. It would be painful
and he wished Liam was there. He needed to read Tommy’s journal. He had thought
about it lots of times but he had never mustered up the courage to read it. Now
the time had come to stop running away.
                                      ***
When Liam woke up, the sun was already high on the horizon. Patsy had tucked
him in a bed. He recognised her room.
He straightened up, feeling like his brain had been drilled. He called Patsy’s
name several times before he heard her climbing the stairs.
He knew her husband was travelling. India or Thailand or whichever Asian
country Liam had only heard about. He had enjoyed fully his absence. He knew he
was selfish. He only came to Patsy when he was drunk and miserable. He also
knew she couldn’t say no to him. He needed someone to look after him since Noel
wasn’t there.
“How’s the sleeping beauty?” said Patsy as she pulled the curtains.
Liam yawned, “Don’t you have a shitty tasting mixture to relieve headaches?”
She ignored him as she always did when she considered he was being stupid.
Instead she informed him there was a very worried coachman waiting for him in
her living room. “That poor man. At first I thought his tongue had been cut
because he wouldn’t talk. Actually, he’s just very shy. Your mother is worried
sick. She sent him there to get you back.”
Liam remained silent so Patsy kept on lecturing him.
“You’re going to get back to your mother. You’re going to apologize for being a
cunt and you will behave.”
Liam looked away. He thought he was too old to be scolded like a schoolboy. He
muttered a few words to tell her he knew what he had to say.
“I think you had a Japanese dress... Is it still for sale?”
Patsy suspected he just wanted to change the conversation. She decided to drown
him in technical details. “It’s actually called a hikizuri. It’s a type of
kimono traditionally worn by geisha...
—Japanese prostitute.” Completed Liam mimicking the tone of a professor.
“Above all, they are women of art.” Corrected Patsy.
“Don’t know, don’t care. Do you still have it?”
                                       *
When he reached Burnage Castle Liam wondered why he had spent such a huge sum
to buy a Japanese dress. He felt stupid when his mother saw him with the
beautiful kimono in his arms. She didn’t mention the incident from the day
before but she had a tired face. She hadn’t gotten much sleep that night. Liam
remembered Patsy’s advice. He lowered his head sheepishly. “’m sorry I made you
worry.” She sighed sadly.
“If only you could behave for a few days.”
                                       *
On his way to his room, Liam found Bonehead. The dog was crying at Noel’s door.
It surprised Liam because his brother and the puppy had never been close. Noel
had always claimed he liked cats better.
Liam lifted the dog in the air. He had gain weight since he was always in the
kitchen. The young man opened the door slowly. He had come into Noel’s room a
few times but it made him feel so miserable afterwards he tended to avoid it.
The bedroom still had Noel’s smell. The bed was unmade because Liam had slept
in it a few times. He hugged the dog tighter in search for comfort but Bonehead
escaped him and curled up on the bed.
Liam was feeling the void in his soul and it hurt him physically. He was
missing Noel so much. He didn’t know what he would do if his brother didn’t
come back. What if he was sick again from the lack of blood? Liam was terrified
of the future, he just knew he wasn’t strong enough to keep on keeping on a lot
longer.
As soon as he lay down on the bed, the dog settled on his belly. Liam petted
his head and rubbed his belly. The puppy was growling with satisfaction.
Liam thought about everything he still had to do with Noel. Laugh until their
belly hurt, fight with all the fire burning inside of them, cry and then make
up again. He was also thinking about the sex and how they still had to love
each other knowing that no one could love like they did.
 He was feeling Noel’s absence every second of every day and he knew his
brother must feel the same. He knew and he prayed for his return.
***
Noel found Tommy’s journal in the wardrobe where he had left it on the first
day. He felt like his hands were burning and tingling just to touch the object.
He tiptoed to his room and sat on the bed, trying to find a comfortable
position to read. His heart was beating quickly when he opened the dusty old
thing. He skimmed through the first pages. He wasn’t surprised that Tommy never
loved them. He began to understand more about the curse and it was scary. He
also learn more about Tommy even if he had never wished to.
After reading a few more pages he saw an interesting entry. It was set a little
while after Liam’s birth.
 
October 1885
Noel has finally understood I hate when he screams. Now he’s always silent
during the feeding. The other day he asked me if all the dads liked their son’s
blood the way I love his blood. He earned himself a slap.
Every time I approach William, the missus looks at me as if she would rip my
head off if I touched the brat. She ought not to worry. Noel and Paul are
enough to keep me fed. That kid is not like the other two. Paul was a necessary
step to keep myself alive. Noel is cursed and tainted from the womb of his
mother. William is different. He’s not tainted. I can’t explain myself why but
the only time I tried to bite him, the fangs didn’t come out and I knew he was
destined to Noel. The same way I knew Noel was cursed. Some say those kind of
destined child can save their diseased sibling but I’ve never heard of someone
being freed from the curse. Bollocks all that! Brotherly love is an illusion.
That family only knows one natural order, either you bleed either you feed.
There’s no such thing as saving or breaking the curse. It kind of reminds me of
the nonsenses my mother used to drivel about every god damn day. She really had
her mouth full of that Leanan Side. But now that she’s not here to tell the
tale I suppose it’s my duty to write it down.
Leanan was a fairy. She wasn’t good or bad, she just existed to inspire her
lover. It was a trade, he gave her his blood and she was his muse. Some say
that the most brilliant artists of their generation were inspired by that
mythical creature. Allegedly, our ancestor who was a prolific composer was one
of Leanan’s protégé. His story differs from the other lovers of the fairy
because she fell in love with him and bore his child. When the Little People
found out about Leanan’s disgrace they warned her. They would be lenient if she
had no more than one child with her human lover. Leanan agreed to it. Nine
months later she gave birth to not one but two children. Fairytales are unfair
by nature. This one was no exception. Two children instead of one, their fate
was sealed from the cradle. The twins were cursed to feed on each other’s blood
and their offspring would be bound to the same fate. Blood must feed on blood.
Just like Leanan was supposed to feed on her lovers. It is said that Leanan was
able to break the curse for one of her son but it came with a price. The elder
would die as soon as he would reach his fifty.
It is said Leanan swore she would break the circle of blood and when her lover
died of old age she sacrificed her immortal live to left a key for her
descendant. My mother was unable to tell me what that last sentence meant.
Even if I don’t want to believe it because it sounds ridiculous I admit it
explains some things. The bloodlust obviously, it also explains why some
individuals of the family possess some abilities. For example, I get
premonitions sometimes. Mots of the times they turn out to be true. One of my
brothers was able to read the feelings of other people. There was even a legend
of some kid who was able to move object with his mind. Those abilities are
supposed to be a gift from Leanan. This family also has numerous artists just
like Leanan’s lovers. The last thing it explains is that indeed all the cursed
members of the family die when they hit fifty. As for me I have seven years
left.
 
Noel read the entry another time. He felt like his whole life had been a
masquerade. He had never searched for a reason for Tommy’s bloodlust and now
that he found some kind of explanation he felt like his old man was mocking him
from the grave. His brains were twisting, trying to connect the dots but it was
beyond human logic.
If the story of Leanan was unsettling it didn’t hurt him personally but
something else did. He had almost forgotten about it but now he remembered
asking Tommy if all the dads liked their son’s blood. Back then he couldn’t
even realised how abnormal it was. He had never lived another way. Violence was
all he had received from his father and he had assumed it was normal. He still
remembered when he had asked one of his playmate about it and the burning shame
when he had realised it wasn’t supposed to happen. Since then he had felt
dirty. Tainted from his mother’s womb. Tommy seemed to agree with him.
As the memories arose from the depth of his mind, the lump inside Noel’s throat
began to suffocate him. Panic rose in his chest. He curled into a ball,
fighting the unpleasant memories he usually kept sealed away deep in his heart.
There was the bloodlust and there was the lust. He knew both from Tommy’s fangs
and from his hands. Noel bit the inside of his cheeks. He didn’t want to
remember, not now, not ever. He didn’t want to remember the pain. He didn’t
want to feel like that again. He had already suffered too much. Always in
silence because he doesn’t like the tears and the screaming. He had never tell
Liam everything that happened in the dark and he didn’t plan to tell him. It
was his invisible burden. He was barely able to bear the shame. It would be
impossible to let Liam know because he didn’t want him to have this scenes in
his head. He didn’t want him to imagine and to be sorry for Noel.
Get a grip. Get a fucking grip on yourself.Muttered Noel to himself, trying to
sound convinced and strong. He stretched his limbs to break from the foetal
position he was in, breathing as calmly as he could. He was in control. He was
in control again. He would not let his emotions devour him. As if to defy Tommy
and win over him, Noel took the journal again. He was strong. He had survived.
Words couldn’t hurt him.
He decided to spare himself from reading all the pages. He skipped all the
entries up until the year Tommy died. His own fifties seemed to be very far
away from now, an eternity. There were so many things he still had to process
that it hadn’t really hit him yet but his death was bound to happen in a few
decades. Inevitably.
 
May 1892
This is the last spring those eyes will witness. I never used to care about
such things but now I notice it. It’s funny because my body is still strong and
I don’t feel like I’m dying. But I am. That’s the fate of those who has been
cursed.
Inevitably, the last part of the curse activated. Now, I understand why they
call it The Gluttony. The hunger is always there. It doesn’t matter how much I
feed, it’s driving me crazy. I drink twice as much blood as I used to and it’s
still not enough. I think it’s difficult for Noel to keep up with my appetite
because he has never been paler. I gave up feeding on Paul because he’s too
weak. Only Noel is strong enough to heal between the feedings. I think Liam
noticed the numbers of feedings has increased because he’s giving me that face
every time I see him. I’d almost slap him. I don’t understand how the kid can
know about it because I try to keep secret the bloodlust and Noel knows it’s
best for him to remain silent on the subject.
 
Noel rubbed his eyes, trying to make some sense. Indeed the year he had died
Tommy had fed on him a lot more than usual. Now he understood. As he got closer
to the end the hunger had grown until the Gluttony had taken over him.
 
June 1892
Today is not a good day to die but still happening. I don’t plan on leaving
this world miserable and hungry. For the last time I will drink the sweet
poison running through my son’s veins. Maybe he’ll die as well. I’ve restraint
myself a lot not to bleed him to death but that’s the last show. Whether he
survives or not I won’t be there! Even Liam won’t be able to break the curse if
he’s dead! Not that I believe he can anyway...
Now, I’ll be leaving and closing the last page of this journal. I wonder if
someone will ever read it. Maybe you Noel but that’s only if you survive. Or
maybe you Liam, but I’ll let you know something, Noel is past saving, he’ll use
you the way I used him.
If you Paul ever come across this, you should close it because it’s none of
your concern. You have nothing to do with those fairy-tales.
I think I might be a little delirious. Blame the bloodlust for that. Farewell,
I will left nothing in this world not even my body, blood it was, dust it will
be.
 
Noel closed the book on the last page of Tommy’s miserable life. That man had
lived and died leaving for only legacy a path of pain and suffering. Noel hoped
his life would be more meaningful. He didn’t care if Liam couldn’t save him. He
had never asked for saving but he would prove Tommy wrong. It wasn’t only about
prey and predator. He knew there was more because he felt it in his heart. Only
one thing could hurt like that and it was love. His undying love for Liam.
His decision was made. Tomorrow, he would come home.
***** Don't Be Afraid of the Dark *****
Chapter Summary
     Once Noel returns to Burnage, he realizes that is relationship with
     Liam is lacking reciprocity.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Everything had been darkness since Noel had left. The nights had been cold and
the days empty but it had come to an end. 
At the beginning  it was only an itch, the feeling that something was going to
happen. Then, Liam felt Noel’s soul like a lonely sparkle in the dark. He was
coming back. His light was stronger with each hour passing and throbbing
harder, closer. 
For the first time in weeks Liam woke up with a smile on his lips. He tumbled
down the stairs, feeling as if he could fly if he put an extra effort in it. A
single word was on his mind like a litany. Noel, Noel,
Noel,noelnoelnoelnoelnoel.He almost bumped into his mother. She grabbed his arm
gently but firmly “Why are you in such a hurry, son?” Liam’s smile was so broad
and so bright that it warmed her heart. “I’m gonna see Noel. 
—Where is he? 
—He’s still on the road but I’m gonna meet him mom!” 
Peggy’s excitement vanished, “How can you know that? Are you still high?” She
reproached him. 
Liam rolled his eyes, “I’m bringing him home, you’ll see! I have no time, wait
for us and get the tea and the biscuits ready!” 
He raced down the corridors under the jaded looks of the domestics. Bonehead
barked when he saw Liam and ran after him. “You’ll follow me, little fella?”
panted Liam, already out of breath. The puppy wagged his tail
enthusiastically.  
Liam was so impatient he gave everything he had in running as fast as he could
but he had to stop after he passed the gate of the park.  
“Mate, I’m already worn out.” He confided to Bonehead. He bent his knees and
his back to rest a little before he continued his way walking. He didn’t really
know the woods but he was able like the needle of a compass to sense in which
direction Noel was. He thought he had to walk for more or less an hour before
they meet. He could have waited in the castle but it didn’t even cross his
mind. He felt at ease in the forest among the trees and the songs of the birds.
The trail he was following was cutting through the woods up until where the
trees were replaced by heathers where the moorland lay. It was a very long road
to walk alone but he wasn’t alone because Noel was following the same path and
each step was a step Noel was making as well. It was a step closer to each
other.  
Liam was nervous and exited thinking that he was about to finally see his
brother again. He hoped he wasn’t mad at him anymore because he had no
intention to apologise again. 
An hour went by before he finally sighted Noel. His heart missed a beat or even
several beats. He ran toward him. His brother was taken aback when he realised
Liam was there. 
They stood an inch apart, staring. Noel was shaking and his mouth trembled. He
fought the lump in his throat, and blinked quickly because he didn’t want Liam
to witness a tear in his eyes. 
“What the fuck are you doing in the middle of the woods?” Noel was caught off
guard, the walls of his mind weren’t already back in place. His heart aching
with love for the disheveled kid standing before him.  
“What d’you reckon? I didn’t come to pluck fucking daisies, I knew you were
coming back. I was rite, man. You’re going home. 
—I am going home.” 
Repeated Noel. Before he could actually think, he found himself inside Liam’s
arms. He pressed his face in the crook of Liam’s neck. He was already home,
wrapped in his brother’s warmth. He kissed his skin tenderly. Liam hugged him
tighter and they found their way to each other’s mouth. The hurt and the void
left by two months apart was dissolved into a gentle and caring kiss. If it
wasn’t completely brotherly it wasn’t a lover’s kiss either, standing at the
frontier between two worlds that should never meet but were colliding through
the bond they shared. It was a bit odd and a also beautiful in their own image.
When their lips parted, both brothers were still overcome by the emotion. Their
souls connecting to each other stronger than before. Liam punched Noel’s
shoulder half heartedly.  
“Don’t leave me ever again. I can’t go on without you. T’was a nightmare.” Noel
squeezed Liam’s shoulder, “I bet you annoyed the fuck out of everyone at the
castle. 
—Yeah man... Another week like that and mam would have kicked me out.” 
Bonehead barked happily to greet Noel. “Even the dog’s there.” He gave him a
quick rub over the head.  
“We should hit the road again.” Suggested Noel. Liam grabbed his hand, guiding
him back home.  
*** 
Peggy dropped the book she was holding when she saw Noel. Her eyes gleamed and
she smiled. “You’re really home.” 
She embraced her son warmly. “Are you going to stay?” Her worried voice made
Noel feel guilty about leaving without explanation.  
“Yes mam. I just needed some time off. 
—I hope you didn’t cause Clinton any bother. He’s such a lovely man. 
—I’m not like our kid, y’know.” 
Noel had just broken the shepherd’s heart. He remembered Clint’s sad but
resigned look when he had announced him he was leaving. He hadn’t even feel
sorry for him when he had turned his back on the moorlands. He hadn’t even
casted a last glance over what he had left there. His eyes had been resolutely
riveted on Burnage Castle hidden in the morning mist, beyond the woods.  
Liam grabbed him from behind. “I told’ ya, innit ? I’d take him home. Where’s
the fucking tea and the little biscuits?” Peggy shook her head in disbelief, 
“It’s not even tea time, Liam!” 
“I can make tea for everyone, milady.” An unknown female voice rose from behind
their backs. Liam released Noel and turned around “Who’s that?” 
He faced a blond woman who was smiling politely. Peggy introduced her “It’s
Paul’s future fiancée. Please, Liam meet Meg and be nice to her.” His older
brother who was there all along blushed and stuttered, “No... Nothing’s done
yet. We just met!” Liam hugged him, ignoring his obvious unease “Aye, ya lucky
fucker. I can’t get away an hour without summat happenin’. ‘Ave ya seen that
our Noel’s back? 
—I didn’t even notice he left. 
—Don’t be a dick, right Paul. 
—I thought you were the first one to be mad at him.” 
Liam’s eyes gleamed with anger, 
“You don’t understand a thing, dontchya? 
—Tell me where he was when I was taking care of you because you were dead drunk
and when you... 
—Enough!” interrupted Peggy, “You’re not too old to get a good old fashioned
smack.” 
Both men lowered their head and Paul apologized to Noel. Meg watched with
perplexity the whole scene. She felt like it wasn’t her place and actually left
to make some tea. A cute puppy followed her in the corridors to the kitchen. He
was acting as if he owned the room. The cooks were concerned that the little
dog hadn’t showed up in the morning to claim his usual serving of sausages and
leftovers. Meg understood he was the mascot of the kitchen. She found a plump
little woman with a face redden by the stoves. She asked her where the tea pot
was and if she could put the kettle on the fire. The maid looked at her from
head to toe. “You’ll make a fine woman for that rascal of Lord Paul. Those are
wide hips, you’ll have children for sure.” 
Meg smiled with unease, she was far from thinking about giving an heir to the
Gallagher family. She didn’t even know Paul! It was an arrangement made between
their two families.  
The woman kept on chattering as she put everything in place for the tea.
“You’re well lucky that you got Lord Paul. He’s the most respectable out of the
three brothers. Lord William, bless him, thinks he’s still three years old. And
Lord Noel! Oh! I won’t even talk about him, dear. It’s a gruesome thing to talk
to a lady like you.” She crossed herself. Meg was finding this family more and
more unusual. She felt sorry that she heard so many rumors about Noel and Liam
before she even got to meet them but at the same time she was curious.  
“I can’t imagine what wrong Lord Noel could do. He seems to be a gentleman but
I get what you mean about young William.” The cook smiled knowingly and threw a
piece of fat to Bonehead who caught it mid air as if he was circus dog. “He’s
only half of a man. Can you imagine? He doesn’t like women. Yes, yes. I’m
telling you. A sodomite! And you know what’s suspicious — of course you can’t
with such an innocent soul. I think he’s leading astray his little brother. Oh,
I talk too much but mark my words, Paul is the only one who’s suitable for a
lady like you.” Meg gave her a neutral answer. She couldn’t help but feel even
more curious about Noel because he seemed to be a mysterious man and she knew
very well that rumors were often just a distorted truth. 
When Meg brought a serving of tea in the restroom, the whole family was
installed comfortably around the fireplace. She mustered up her courage to walk
in and pretend she was at ease and not feeling like an intruder. Liam was on
Noel’s lap as if it was the most normal thing in the world. She put the tray on
the table and sat next to Paul. Liam clapped enthusiastically and poured tea
for everyone.  
Meg couldn’t help but watch Noel. He wasn’t beautiful. Liam was. They looked
the same and if she blinked fast she could get confused about who was who. It’s
not odd for brothers to look alike. However for every beautiful features on
Liam’s face Noel had a matching one that was strangely similar but distorted
like a reflection in the water. Where Liam had a strong nose, Noel’s was oddly
shaped in comparison and conjured up the beak of bird of prey. However, from
some angles their noses looked the same, the twisted line of Noel’s nose erased
by some trick of perspective. Liam had plump lips that looked made for kisses
and more. Noel’s were thinner and smaller but they had the exact same color.
Their eyes had the same shade of blue but she could see through Liam’s the
person he was whereas she couldn’t guess what was hidden behind Noel’s gaze.
His eyes like mirrors only showed her own reflection. The only thing that
really differed between them was their body. Liam had long and slim legs, a
lean chest and manly hands. Except that he wasn’t a man yet. Noel was smaller,
really skinny and he had the tiniest feet she had ever seen on a man. They were
the same, they were different. If Liam was the shining, Noel was the gloomy
shadow of his younger sibling.  
However, it was Noel who caught her eyes. She stiffened every time his blue
eyes met hers. He wasn’t even looking at her. He was looking through her
without seeing her. Or maybe as the maid had told her it was because he didn’t
like women. It only made her crave his attention even more. It was unfair to
Paul but she was unable to rule her heart.  
“Noel you stink as if all of Clint’s sheep had shitted over you.” Dropped Liam
unexpectedly. He got himself a black stare from Noel.  
“You’ve lived all your life like a princess in your ivory tower but I’ve seen
more to life than you ever have, spoiled brat. 
—Life fucking stinks, man. Life needs to get a good long bath.” Noel left with
the remnant of his dignity to head to the bathroom. From that moment Liam got
even more chatty. He had endless stories to tell and buffooneries to mime. As
Noel, he was very entertaining but they were also different. Liam seemed more
genuine and raw than his brother. Meg doubted what the maid had said was true.
They both were fine men. She had to remind herself that Paul was too. 
*** 
The first day home elapsed quickly. It was already the night. Everything was
back in place as if those two months had just been a dream. Noel was expecting
Liam to visit him. Frustration had been building up in his loins since the
moment they kissed. He wished he could ignore it and pretend it didn’t exist
but he was full of desire for Liam and he expected him to feel the same.  
He needed him to prove him they were right and Tommy was wrong. If Liam didn’t
come to him tonight, he was ready to give him up. Or at least try to. However
something was telling him he would not feel lonely that night and he was
right. 
Liam yanked the door open without knocking, Bonehead was following him. Noel
frowned when he saw the dog.  
“Why did you take him? 
—Nough wrong with it. He’s just following me ‘round. I bet he missed you too.  
—Is he the reason why there are dog’s hairs in my bed?” 
Liam stared at the puppy with a frown and talked to him.  
“Can’t hide anything from him, can we?”  
Noel smirked because of Liam’s buffoonery.  
“I had the sheets changed so never mind. The thing is, there was a kimono in my
room...”  
Liam blushed and got confused.  
“Yes... It’s not... I only bought it bec... Actually... someone gave it to
me... But it’s not mine... I forgot to give it back. 
—Shut your mouth, William and just assume that you wanted that dress.” 
Noel’s eyes narrowed and gleamed with an untamed fire. 
“I won’t put it on.” Stated Liam in a firm tone. Noel smirked, he wondered if
he could get his brother to wear it. He kept on staring hoping that Liam would
give in quickly. 
“Noel,” Liam sounded offended but with a hint of hesitation. 
“You’d look so pretty in it” suggested Noel counting on how vain he knew his
brother could be. 
“Don’t need that me. I’m always pretty.” Retorted Liam, “Would you wear it,
Noel? I dare you! Bet you never wore a dress before. Ain’t it right?” 
Just when he thought he was swiftly leading Liam to put the kimono on, it
seemed the tables had turned. Actually, Noel had already worn a dress before.
He thought it looked displaced and odd on him. He still liked to make up from
time to time. Sometimes, he had painted his eyes in black for Clint. 
As soon as Liam suggested it, Noel felt tempted. The fact that it wasn’t an
actual dress made it easier for him to think about wearing it, 
 “What if I’d put it on? You’d like that?” 
The room had suddenly got ten degrees hotter for both of them. Noel glanced at
Liam’s crotch and he saw his words had already affected him. 
“I’d like that a lot... My pretty gei... Gai... Whatever. 
—Geisha. 
—Yeah that.” 
Stronger than gravitation, the pull between Noel and Liam made them join their
bodies like meteors bound to collide with each other no matter how far in space
they might be. Unable to sustain his lust for Noel, Liam pounded against him,
claiming his lips greedily and grinding their hips together. 
“... Missed you so much... hmmm” 
Without letting him a choice, he removed Noel’s shirt and forced his pants past
his hips. 
“Looks so good naked... Later for the fucking dress.” 
Noel had never suspected it but he liked when Liam was manhandling him. He
wondered what kind of new fucked up this was. He was feeling oversensitive in
every place Liam was touching him. 
Before he gave in completely he found the resolution to make one last call,
“Make the dog go out. I’m not shagging you while Bonehead’s watching.” 
Once the dog was nicely but firmly put outside, Noel sat at the edge of the bed
waiting for Liam. He wasn’t too comfortable to be naked, in the bare light of
the candles when Liam was still dressed. Slightly hunched shoulders and legs
kept tightly together, he thought he wasn’t that much of an inspiration for
Liam’s desire. 
“Makes me want to do stuffs to you...” said the young one as if he had read his
mind. 
“I might not let you do stuffs to me... 
—As if.” 
Liam’s words made him as hard as his hands could. However, he would not give up
on leading the game.  
“Use your tongue for something else than talking.” 
Liam cocked an eyebrow, accepting the challenge. When he knelt, Noel figured
what he was up to. His brother slid his hand between Noel’s thighs. A chill of
desire ran along his spine. He parted his legs just enough for Liam to fit
between them. 
“Not making it easy, innit? In less than ten minutes I’ll make you scream my
name. 
—Always modest.” 
Loving fingers wrapped around his shaft. 
“Makes you shut up that. 
—But...hmm... Still not screaming your name... 
—I’m just getting started!” 
Liam’s head dived between his legs and all he could see was his messy hair. He
entwined his fingers in his strands. Liam hummed in approval so he grabbed him
tighter. Soon he felt his little brother’s tongue dancing along the slit of his
cock and drawing the outline of the head. He breathed faster but did not let a
moan escape his lips. At least, not yet. 
He watched Liam’s head bobbing up and down as he swallowed him. He had
fantasised a lot about it. He had imagined in details how it would feel and how
Liam would look with his cock in his mouth. Feeling it was different, it was
real and so overwhelming his body was on fire and his head not so clear. The
warmth of his brother’s mouth and the conscientious work of his tongue
underneath his cock was already pushing him over the edge. He wanted Liam to
keep on sucking him and to watch him until he came in his mouth. He also wanted
to take Liam, to open him up nice and soft and to take him with his cock still
coated with his own saliva.  
His brother couldn’t manage to take his whole length but he was trying hard.
Noel combed Liam’s fringe backwards to make him look up. Blue eyes rose to meet
his without stopping the back and forth movements along his shaft. Noel’s heart
clenched and a new surge of desire also rose from the depth of his stomach. An
expression between pain and pleasure showed in his eyes and he moaned Liam’s
name in a raw an deep voice. The blue eyes of his brother gleamed with pride
and he released Noel’s cock.  
“I told’ya. Made you say my name. 
—Just doing it to make you feel like you’re good.  
—Cunt. You’ll try sucking yourself off next time.” 
Liam stood up and made him lay against the mattress with his palm pinning his
bare chest. Noel enjoyed the roughness born from teasing Liam. He liked the
thrill of his position that made him feel vulnerable while he also trusted Liam
completely.  
“What are you gonna do?” said Noel with a daring voice.  
“What’d you like? 
—Try something new. I give you carte blanche.  
—What with the French words? You think it makes you look posh or summat?” 
Liam’s knee rubbed against his crotch and Noel let out a muffled, lustful
sound. When he was with Liam his desires were shifting every minute. The love
and lust he felt for his young brother knew no boundaries. He wanted to embrace
all the facets of their relationship, he was just a junkie for Liam’s skin.  
“You can do what it is you want to do.  
—You mean that.  
—That. Don’t make me repeat myself.”  
Liam licked his lips, feeling as nervous as he was turned on.  
“Show me you want it. Really want it.” 
Noel swallowed the lump in his throat and tilted his head back to erase Liam’s
presence. It wasn’t easy for him. However he needed it. Needed to prove Liam
that there was reciprocity in their relationship. 
He opened his legs wider and bent his knees. He had never thought they’d come
to it this early. 
He wanted to feel in his flesh that he belonged to Liam as much as he needed to
feel that Liam was his.  
It was meaningful for him. Of course, Clint had already taken his first time
when he was a young man eager to be taught. And it wasn’t that deep. The lust
he had always felt for men was a seed that had grown out of the reach of his
will. He had realised quite early what he liked and what he didn’t like. That’s
why he had given Clint his first time with such carelessness.  
With Liam it was different. It was family. He had always been the one
protecting Liam. He was untouchable because he was his older brother. Letting
go of his power wasn’t easy for his pride but it was also incredibly
arousing.  
If his brother had always owned his heart, giving himself to him was a way of
letting him know it. A way of letting him sneak past the wall of his mind. Who
knew what would happen when he would let Liam know there was a crack in his
armour? He had been broken so many times he hoped Liam would take care of his
heart because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle another wound. He could be
the one holding his heart together or the one breaking it for good.  
Liam kissed him again. It was something familiar and the best way to cast aside
the apprehension. Noel opened Liam’s shirt, the arousal made him clumsy but he
finally freed Liam’s chest. He massaged his cock through the fabric of his
trousers making him moan and call his name. Impatiently, he opened his breeches
and Liam’s cock sprung in his hands.  
“Don’t come yet.” 
Liam shut his eyes with a blissful expression, “Stop touching it then.” 
Noel retrieved a bottle of oil from a drawer. He smeared his finger with it and
was about to get prepared for Liam.  
“I want to get you open for me.” Interrupted Liam  
“I s’pose you can.” Noel handed him the oil and wiped his fingers on a towel.
Liam kissed his belly, “You’ll feel good. 
—I know.” Noel laid on his back, his chest rising and falling quickly and his
blue eyes staring at Liam. He wanted to ask him to be gentle but found it too
humiliating so he kept quiet. Somehow, it was Liam’s whole hand that ended
coated in oil.  
“I can’t take it all, you know.” joked Noel half worryingly.  
“I’d be impossible, man. I’m not an idiot.  
—Some people do it.  
—No way. Stop messing with me head.” Liam paused thoughtfully.  
“Did Cunt Boon do it?  
—Not having this conversation.”  
Liam squinted and resolved to ask more about it later. 
Noel was holding his legs up and slightly parted with his hands behind his
knees.  
Liam’s finger was poking at his entrance, 
“It won’t pass, Noely.” He said with genuine concern.  
“You can push, I’m not made of porcelain. 
—I don’t want to hurt you.  
—Get it done already, fuck Liam.” He snapped with irritation.  
Liam pushed a little harder and felt stupid when he realised it slid in quite
easily. He thrust a few times before he tried adding a second one. He watched
with wonder as Noel stretched wider to take two fingers in and he earned a moan
from his brother. Moving his fingers he made Noel loosen a bit around him.  
“Your dick now.” Commanded Noel.  
Slicked and hard as rock, Liam positioned his member between Noel’s cheeks.  
“Oh God Liam, stop making that face you’re not that huge that I can’t take it. 
—You mean I’m not big enough for you?” Liam was stung. Noel ignored him.  
“Lay on your back.” Still pouting, Liam did as he was told. Noel jerked his
cock a few time before he sat on Liam’s pelvis, guiding him inside with his
hand. His little brother groaned when he felt Noel’s flesh moulding around his
cock. He fitted perfectly inside him.  
When Noel began to move his hips, Liam thought it tasted like heaven. He put
his hands on his brother’s slender hips. Responding to the touch, Noel let out
a low moan and clenched around Liam’s cock.  
“So tight.”  
Noel muttered some words and Liam would have been unable to understand if it
wasn’t for their special bond. Only for you.  
It was a perfect night. Just the two of them. He couldn’t think straight. It
felt good beyond words to see his brother pleasure himself while riding him. He
started with a slow pace making each inch precious and frustrating. His blue
eyes were gleaming with a wild fire and Liam had never witnessed him being so
self oblivious. His face showed an untamed and unashamed pleasure. 
“Faster...” begged Liam.  
Noel quickened the pace without trying to argue. A never ending fire was
building up in Liam’s belly each time Noel was lowering on his cock with a deep
and content moan. 
Getting close to his orgasm, Noel took Liam as deep as could and let his semen
splatter over his brother’s chest. His flesh tightened around Liam getting him
to release his seed deep inside of him.  
When Noel came, he felt his sheath of flesh tightening and Liam’s cock inside
of him felt almost unpleasant and foreign. He fought the natural reaction of
his body, keeping him in, feeling him in.  
“I don’t say that usually... I love you and probably I always will.” 
*** 
The morning found them in each other’s arms, still naked. Liam’s head was
resting against Noel’s heart and he was sleeping soundly. 
Noel had feared the morning. For countless mornings, he had found himself sick
and disgusted by his acts of the night. He wasn’t really expecting this one to
be different but it was. The guilt inside his heart had been tamed and he
didn’t feel so bad about himself. He had everything that mattered before his
eyes, sleeping in his arms. It would be difficult to ask for more. Their
relationship was meant to be imperfect, bound to follow dark paths between
flashes of light. This child-like man sleeping soundly in his arms was the
image of his happiness, the light that guided him through the dark woods of his
life.  
To think of all the barriers they had to overcome to finally get there was
something he could almost feel proud of. There was only one last thing he
wanted to do. One thing to prove a ghost wrong.  
Noel poked Liam’s cheek to wake him up but he didn’t react the slightest. He
kissed the corner of his mouth making Liam emit a soft and sleepy sound. He
blinked lazily and stretched against Noel.  
“mornin’” His voice was still hoarse. He smiled to Noel and kissed him without
hurry. At that moment they were only lovers waking up in the same bed.  
“There’s something I want to give you.” Noel said seriously. Liam looked exited
even if he was still sleepy. “And what is it? 
—You’re going to drink my blood. 
—I don’t need it. Why would I? 
—Just do it.” 
Feed or bleed it was what Tommy had written. Noel would prove him wrong. He and
Liam were different. They’d feed and bleed together.  
“Not doing it, Noel. That’s gross.  
—Oh, so you think it’s gross. 
—That’s not what I meant.  
—I heard you, William. If that’s how you see it, I won’t force you.” 
Liam rolled his eyes. “Why do you have to be like that? I’ll drink, now shut
up.” 
Noel had won this time. He always won anyway. He brought out his fangs and bite
his wrist until it bled. Liam gazed at him with hesitation before he grabbed
his arm and drank the first drops of thick and red blood. He thought the taste
was horrible. It made his mouth dry and his throat scratch. Thankfully, the
bite was shallow and the blood dried out quickly. Liam licked his lips not to
stain the sheets.  
“Your spunk tastes better than your blood.” 
Noel shook his head. Liam was unable to be serious. He was still satisfied and
considered he had reached his goal. 
*** 
“Why is this miscreant sitting at our table?”  
Noel thought that there were too many guests in this castle. First, the fiancée
and now that good-for-nothing Baron Williams.  
Peggy shot him a black look.  
“Is that how you call your brother’s friends??”  
Noel pursed his lips slightly, unwilling to answer.  
“Robbie is going to stay for a few weeks with us. 
—Is he?” Questioned Noel with the obvious intend to be rude.  
Robbie gave him an annoying and daring gaze “I had a splendid night with Liam
the other day.” He was surprised to find Liam and Noel cold to his statement.
Liam was picking the last tomatoes of his plate. Looking much more concerned by
it than what Robbie was saying. As for Noel, he was playing his favourite game,
indifference. He hated to let people get a glimpse of his insecurities and
worries. He’d ask later the servants about what that night with Robbie might
be. In the meantime he was resolute to ignore the baron.  
Paul’s future fiancée was at the opposite side of the table. She was just
listening and staring at him in an awkward way. He wondered why she didn’t pick
a seat close to Paul instead. She was laughing at all his jokes even the bad
ones and answered briefly each time he asked her a question. She reminded him
of himself when he had met Clint and he knew what it meant. He was as flattered
as he was annoyed.  
After what seemed to be a very long and uneasy breakfast, they all escaped the
dining room. Paul took Liam apart, he dragged him to a quiet and private
room.  
“I wanted to talk to you earlier but I didn’t find you in your room this
morning. There’s something I want to tell you about but first I bet you slept
with one of the maid yesterday. Be careful, you don’t want t’have a kid this
early in your life.”  
Liam scoffed, “Don’t worry, Paul. Not a chance. 
—Whatever. You’re old enough to do what you want... I need to talk to you about
Meg. It’s inconvenient but I don’t like her. I mean, she’s a nice girl and all
but we don’t connect in any way. And you know, I never wanted to stay all my
life in this castle. I want to see the world. I don’t intend to rot there
forever with a wife and a flock of children. 
—You should be honest before things get too far.” 
Paul looked at his feet and twitched nervously. “I know I should but it’s not
that easy. Mam have lots of hopes and expectations about this wedding. 
—Fuck that! It’s your life, you’re not living it for anybody else.” 
Paul was surprised to find Liam had actually good advices. He wondered if
something had happened for him to grow up so quickly.  
“I’ll keep that in mind.”  
*** 
After Noel questioned the maids and the footboys he came to the conclusion that
Robbie fantastic night with Liam was just a pub crawl. He was still annoyed
that the baron thought he had a special connection with Liam when he knew he
was just the first guy his brother found not to drink alone. He needed
something to show everybody Liam was his. It shouldn’t be too obvious either.
It was Paul’s wedding that gave him an idea of what he should do.  
*** 
The music room was the brightest of the castle with its four wide windows
facing the sun’s path across the sky. It was Noel’s favourite place to withdraw
from the messy crowd buzzing in the castle. Liam was supposed to join him.  
If Meg was Noel’s silent shadow, Robbie was Liam’s noisy shadow. Each time, the
brothers tried to be alone, an intruder found them. If it was Robbie, Noel shot
him a death stare. If it was Meg, Liam sighed and growled about having guests
in the castle.  
The only moments they were really alone were the evenings. They spent the
beginning of the night together before parting to sleep in their respective
rooms. They were sick of being careful all the time.  
When Liam pushed the door, Noel was relieved to see that he hadn’t been
followed. As soon as he closed the door, Noel was on him, pining him against
the wood. He gave him an avid and possessive kiss, as he could only behind
closed doors. Liam was already melting under him and sighing softly. Without
parting their lips, he took Liam’s hand and put an object around his finger.  
Liam instantly froze and gazed down. A ring. He wasn’t dreaming. Noel had put a
ring around his finger.  
“What’s that for? 
—It’s for wearing it. 
—I know that, dick !... “ He paused not knowing how to react, “Thank you, I
s’pose. I’ll get you something too.”  
Noel showed him his own hand. He had an identical ring except that Liam’s was
gold whereas his was silver.  
“I already have this. 
—It’s really like we’re fucking husband and wife, now. Usually, you’re like ‘be
careful someone could find out’ blablafuckinbla. And now you gimme a ring. 
—Well, they fucking need to understand you’re mine.  
—And that you’re mine as well.” 
The rings were traditional claddagh rings representing a heart held in two
hands and topped by a crown. The jewels were the materialisation of the
fidelity, loyalty and love between two people. Noel thought it was the perfect
gift. It showed the relationship he had with Liam was one of a kind without
giving away the fact that they were lovers. It was an invisible collar he put
around Liam’s neck to brand him as his.  
*** 
The late days of summer were made to spend the evening outside. The warmth of
the afternoon was withdrawing with the night. The light was tamed and soft
giving a youthful gleam to everything it touched. The owl of the old oak began
to hoot in the undisturbed and peaceful park.  
Everyone had gathered on the patio around a cup of tea. Liam couldn’t help but
fiddle with his ring, he wondered if anyone had noticed.  
Robbie was playing cards with Paul. He was blissfully oblivious of little
details like that. Noel thought he’d probably have to shove his ring along with
his fist in his face to get him to notice. In the other hand, Meg had spotted
it right away and she was searching for the second one. When she realised Liam
had it, she was relieved. It was only a display of brotherly love. She had
feared for a moment that Noel was engaged and she didn’t know about it. She
wandered by Paul’s side to show him some interest. The few words and smiles
they exchanged looked forced and awkward. 
Robbie threw his cards on the table, “Ahhh, I lost again!” He gazed at Liam in
search for support but the boy was too busy chatting with Noel. Jealousy
pinched his heart. There were something about them that bothered him. He could
feel in his guts that something shady was going on without being able to
actually pinpoint it. When he was following Liam around he had surprised them
in the middle of ambiguous  situations. Doubt had taken root in his mind and he
felt absolutely jealous of Noel to the point of feeling physically sick each
time the brothers were together. If he couldn’t separate them, he knew he could
at least annoy Noel just by being there.  
He hugged Liam from behind, sticking as close as he could to Liam’s heat. He
earned a cold glance from Noel, “I’ve lost again. If you’re my friend, comfort
me, William. 
—It can’t be helped. You’re just shit at card games.” Sighed Liam without
pushing him away. Noel looked at Robbie contemptuously and took Liam’s hand for
no other reason than to make him notice the pair of rings alongside. He made it
almost look like it was natural.  
Noel added, “Just find something you’re good at, like sucking dicks.” 
Liam rolled his eyes, “You’re the biggest cunt of all o’ em.” 
The baron pursed his lips with anger barely held back. “Liam never repaid me
the favour. S’not too late.” 
Genuinely unaware of the two men’s quarrel, Liam patted Robbie’s shoulder, “I
pass. I told you, there’s only one man I love and he’s back.” 
Robbie was confused, was he really talking about Noel? It couldn’t be. Liam
wouldn’t admit so freely being... Being in love with his brother. However, he
had also noticed the matching rings and his doubts were growing stronger. He
felt like a swarm of angry wasps were droning in his head. He couldn’t get that
awful idea out of his mind. There was something abnormal about the Gallagher
brothers.  
*** 
After the dusk, everyone made it back inside. Noel whispered to Liam’s ear,  
“Why the fuck did you say something like that in front of Robbie? Are you
fuckin nuts? You want him to find out? 
—You’re okay with showing the rings but when it comes from me, it’s risky all
of a sudden.” Liam snorted, “I thought you’d like that. You said it, you want
to make him know I’m yours. I’m just helping. 
—I know what I’m doing. You, you’re like a child playing with fire. You have no
idea what the consequences of your actions are. 
—Are you saying I’m silly? Fuck you!” Liam had raised the tone and suddenly
everyone was looking at them. Paul tried to make them calm down but it was
useless. Liam left and slammed the door shut.  
Noel shrugged, “Let him be. It’s that period of the month again.” He touched
his ring without thinking and wore an unaffected smile. “What should we do
now? 
—I think we never told our guests about our outstanding wine cellar.” Said Paul
with a suggestive smile. 
*** 
Noel had giddy legs and his head wasn’t very clear. They had had an extensive
exploration of the finest bottles of the cellar. He had hoped the entire
evening for Liam to come back but the bastard didn’t show up. Now his steps
were leading him toward his brother’s room. He felt like it was Liam’s fault
and he had nothing to apologise for but he wanted to check on him.  
Robbie had lost five other card games with Paul. It felt a bit humiliating. He
had also noticed something, the more he drank wine the easier he was losing and
the more he thought Paul looked like Liam. He was certainly under the spell of
alcohol but he almost found the elder brother desirable in how alike he was
with Liam. Maybe that’s why he had exaggerated how drunk he was and how he
wasn’t sure he could get to his room alone. Obviously it was out of order for
Noel to help him and it was inconvenient for Meg. That’s how he ended up
walking arm in arm with Paul.  
Robbie was sleeping in the same wing as Liam. That’s why he didn’t understand
why they ended up following Noel whose room was at the opposite end of the
castle.  
“Why is Noel there? ” Whispered Robbie drunkenly while clinging to Paul.  
“I dunno. Maybe he wants to patch things up with Liam.  
—Nananana.... T’s weird. We should follow him. 
—You’re drunk and delusional. 
—I feel it in my guts. Paul! Let’s follow him!” the elder Gallagher punched his
head lightly, literally trying to knock some sense into him.  
 “Get lost. That’s just how Noel is. He was bothered by it all the evening. 
—Right, right... I bet there’s something weird going on. If you’re so sure of
you, then there’s nothing wrong following him. 
—It depends on what you bet... 
—My fucking watch! Now let’s follow him.” 
Paul felt stupid that he got caught into something like that. He had probably
drunk too much as well.  
Miraculously, Noel didn’t noticed them as noisy as they were. Robbie was
giggling like a young girl and he had to muffle the sound by pressing his mouth
against the fabric of Paul’s shirt. “Stop wiping your nose on me, pig!” the
elder protested as they reached Liam’s doorstep.  
As expected Noel entered Liam’s room. Once the door was closed, Paul and Robbie
pressed their ears against the wood. “I can’t hear anything. 
—Then shut up.” As Robbie focused he overheard bits of sentences. He couldn’t
determine whose voice it was since they were quite alike. I’m just worried... I
love you... Hey,give us a kiss.  
Robbie was almost sure he had heard it right, a kiss. Too curious and too drunk
to care, he silently turned the door handle and peeked inside while Paul was
protesting.  
Doubt became a certitude, not only they were kissing but undressing each other.
He was surprisingly unsurprised. He grabbed Paul’s wrist, “I think I’ve won my
bet.” 
The elder Gallagher was struck with shock and disbelief. “They’re just fooling
around...” he muttered but his tone sounded false to his own ears. “There must
be an explanation...” Paul held on to that, in a minute or two they’d be back
to normal. His two quarrelling brothers, not those incestuous monsters.
However, the more he watched the more he understood there was no going back.
Liam was looking at Noel with devotion as he jerked him. They weren’t going to
dress again, no. His little brothers were going to fuck. Paul wished he had
never followed Robbie and he could ignore everything about it.  
He grabbed the baron’s shoulder to make him move. He didn’t want him to keep
watching. He was a stranger, he shouldn’t witness such a shameful thing about
his family.  
He dragged him by the arm in the corridor. “You’re never going to talk again
about what you saw. If you don’t, I’ll personally come to take care of you.”
Paul needed to impress Robbie enough to make him shut up forever. 
Robbie swallowed, he had sobered up really quickly “It’s not like it makes a
pleasant conversation topic at any dinner table.”  
Paul still felt compelled to protect his little brothers even if he was feeling
sick of them. Maybe he was just afraid that people starts gossiping about him
too. He gave Robbie one last threatening glance before they parted without
another word. 
Once he reached his room, Paul sat on the bed with his head in his hands,
repeatedly kicking the chair before him. He could tolerate a lot but this was
out of order. He could bear a fiancée and he could bear the thought of living
all his life in this castle. However, he couldn’t bear the sight of his
siblings fucking each other.  
Noel must have dragged Liam into that. He was so young. He had taken advantage
of his youngest brother and it was unforgivable. Paul would make sure Noel
would have to answer for his acts.  
Chapter End Notes
     I know I'm the only one who genuinely enjoys Noel bottoming... Well,
     just deal with it!
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!