Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/4530372. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Supernatural_RPF Relationship: Jensen_Ackles/Jared_Padalecki, Jensen_Ackles/Jeffrey_Dean_Morgan Additional Tags: bottom!Jensen, top!Jared, non-con, heat_-_Freeform, A/B/O, Violence, hurt!Jensen, hurt!Jared, omega!Jensen, alpha!Jared, Hurt/Comfort, Abusive Relationship, Asshole!Jeff Stats: Published: 2015-08-08 Completed: 2016-01-13 Chapters: 12/12 Words: 25461 ****** Blood Will Have Blood. ****** by Saltandburnboys Summary Summary: Jensen's about to discover that life doesn't always go to plan, no matter how much you might want it to. Notes Based on this prompt - http://letskinkjensen.livejournal.com/ 3912.html?thread=70728#t70728 - over at letskinkjensen. I've changed it slightly, but not much. The prompt is very spoilery, so don't read it if you don't want to know how this is going to go. All you need to know is that in this universe, Omegas are basically still seen as property by the law and that matings are binding. Both boys are seventeen in this. Thank you, OP, for the awesome prompt. ***** Chapter One. ***** Blood_Will_Have_Blood.   Chapter_One.   Someone was watching him. Jensen felt their eyes trailing across his skin - his face, his neck, his bare chest - and he couldn't help but smile, because he knew exactly who that gaze belonged to. 'You staring at me again, Jay?' 'Always,' Jared replied instantly, and Jensen felt the mattress dip as his boyfriend crawled across the bed towards him. Getting close enough to wrap his arm around Jensen and pull him against his side. Jensen's smile widened, as he allowed himself to be drawn in, and finally opened his eyes. 'You know, some people might find that a little creepy,' he joked, looking up at Jared and waiting for his boyfriend to laugh. But Jared didn't laugh. Didn't even crack a smile. He just reached out and ghosted his fingertips across Jensen's cheekbone, whispering a quiet, 'Can't help it. You're just so beautiful, Jen, you take my breath away.' Jensen felt his smile falter a little then, and he dropped his eyes to the bedspread. He always felt so awkward when Jared said things like that, because it just didn't make any sense. Jared was the beautiful one - not to mention, smart, funny and kind - and how he'd fallen for someone like Jensen, when he could've had anyone else in the world, was still a mystery to him. That confusion didn't stop him kissing back though, when Jared's lips touched his own, didn't stop him opening up immediately to let Jared lick his way inside. He might not understand why Jared had chosen him, but that didn't mean he wasn't grateful. Or that he wasn't going to make the most of every second they had together. As always with them, it wasn't long before things turned heated, and in the blink of an eye, Jared was on top of him, deepening the kiss. Pressing Jensen down into the mattress; rocking against him with jerky, desperate thrusts. Jensen felt hot all over, flushed from head to toe, and when Jared's hands slipped into the back of his boxers to finger his slicked hole, he couldn't help but buck up and let out a cry. A cry that was quickly swallowed by Jared. Devoured, just like he was devouring Jensen. Need rushed through Jensen's veins, climbing higher and higher with each frantic beat of his racing heart...he was so close...so fucking clo- A loud knock echoed suddenly through Jared's room, and the two of them sprang apart - Jared diving back into his make-shift bed on the floor; Jensen pulling the covers back over himself. They both lay there, breathing hard and staring anxiously at the door handle. Thankfully, it didn't move and the door didn't open. Instead, Jared's mom just called, 'Breakfast's ready, boys,' through the wood before walking away again, her footsteps creaking their way back down the staircase outside. Jensen let out a sign of relief then, his heart slowly returning to its regular rhythm. That had been a close one. Their parents were pretty chilled about their courting, mostly letting them do their own thing, but they did have one rule - no sex till they were mated. And he and Jared had always respected that; sure, they bent the rule a little on occasion - a few blowjobs and handjobs here and there, and a little fingering - but they'd never actually broken it. But none of that would matter if Jared's mom had walked in on them even just bending the rules. There'd be no more sleep overs for one, and their parents might even start chaperoning their dates, like so many other parents in this ridiculously old fashioned town. And that would be a goddamn disaster. Talk about a mood killer. 'We need to get our own place,' Jared groaned from his mattress on the floor. Jensen snorted and climbed out of bed. 'Soon,' he promised as he grabbed his jeans and pulled them on, grimacing slightly at the way the denim rubbed up against his half hard cock. Adjusting himself slightly, he picked up Jared's jeans from the floor and tossed them at him. 'Couple of months, we'll be mated and off to college and living in an apartment of our own.' Jared caught the pants just before they hit him in the face and got to his feet, wrestling his way into them and murmuring a quiet 'Thank God' under his breath. And he knew it was a little cruel, given that he didn't have a knot to deal with, but Jensen couldn't help but chuckle as he watched Jared struggle to get his zipper done up over his still very prominent erection. Besides, the way his boyfriend was glaring down at his dick like it had done him some personal wrong was all kinds of cute. ''Cause this,' Jared said, pointing at his crotch, 'is getting really fucking annoying.' Chuckle melting into a fond smile - his boyfriend really was adorable - Jensen crossed the room and pushed Jared up against the wall. Jared looked down at him in surprise, eyes wide, and Jensen licked his lips. Very slowly. 'Well, cowboy, if you're real quick downstairs, you might just be lucky enough to be on the receiving end of an awesome blowjob before school.' And with that, he pressed a quick kiss to his boyfriend's gaping mouth before stepping away with a wink and disappearing out of the door. Barely a moment later, he heard the bedroom door slam behind him and then Jared was rushing past him and down the stairs, taking them three at a time. Jensen grinned and shook his head; it was going to be a good day. **** ***** Chapter Two. ***** Chapter Notes Two short chapters, I know. Sorry about that. :-/ Chapter_Two. Two_weeks_later.   Jensen dropped his head onto the desk in front of him with a groan. He felt like shit: skin too tight, clothes itching and rubbing uncomfortably against him, stomach in knots. He was dying, he was sure of it. 'You still feeling crappy, babe?' Jared asked, gently laying his hand on the back of Jensen's neck. Jensen sighed, eyes fluttering slightly, and leaned into the touch; Jared's fingers felt so good...a cool balm against his burning skin. 'Maybe you should just come home with me?' And that sounded like an amazing idea - cuddling up in bed with Jared was just what he needed right now - but he knew he couldn't. Not with Hitchen's test tomorrow; the one he hadn't even begun to study for. Jensen had never failed a test in his life, and he wasn't about to start now. Especially not when Hitchen was the one setting it. 'I can't,' he said, raising his head and looking up into his boyfriend's concerned hazel gaze. He may or may not have been pouting, just a little bit. 'I've gotta study.' 'But you're sick,' Jared insisted, his mouth pulling into a tight line. 'We could get a doctor's note or something.' Jensen's eyes darted over to the library clock. It was already past five now, so the clinic would be closed, and even he knew he wasn't an emergency. Hell, he wasn't even sure the doctor would give him a note for just the flu. 'It's too late,' he said, glancing back down at his textbook and trying to focus on the blurry words in front of him. 'Besides, I'm fine.' 'You're not fine,' Jared said, a slight growl creeping into his voice as he slid his hand round to Jensen's forehead. 'You're burning up. Maybe I can go and talk to Hitch-' 'Dude, no,' Jensen said with a slight laugh as he pulled Jared's hand away from his face and threaded their fingers together. 'You punching out a teacher would definitely be worse than me failing this test.' Jared's eyes narrowed. 'I wouldn't.' 'You would,' Jensen argued, squeezing Jared's fingers lightly. Jensen knew exactly how it would go down - Hitchens, bigoted asshole that he was, would start in on Jensen being just another lazy Omega and Jared wouldn't be able to stop himself. He'd plant his fist right in the guy's big mouth. And Jensen loved Jared for that, loved how fiercely protective Jared was of the people he cared about, but assaulting a teacher, no matter how justified, really wouldn't look good on Jared's permanent record, and, frankly, it just wasn't worth it. In a few short months, Hitchens and his archaic views would be far behind them both. 'Look,' he said, 'I'm just gonna get in a few more hours, then I'll go home and sleep, I promise.' 'I don't know,' Jared said, rubbing his thumb absently across the back of Jensen's hand and frowning down at him. 'I don't like it.' 'I know,' Jensen said, 'but I need to do this, okay?' And he did. He had one of the highest GPAs in their year, and that was almost unheard of for an Omega, given that the education system was pretty much designed to see them fail. To show them their place. And Jensen wasn't about to let that slip, wasn't about to prove all the assholes who didn't think Omegas should be allowed in school right, now they were on the home stretch. Jared blew out a frustrated breath. 'Fine, but really...only another couple of hours, okay? You look like you're about to keel over as it is.' And this was just another reason why Jensen loved Jared so much. Any other Alpha in this godforsaken town would've put their foot down, insisting they knew better, and ordered Jensen home...but not Jared. Jared trusted him, let him make his own decisions, and that meant everything to Jensen. 'Yep, just a little while longer, then home to bed.' Jared nodded, as satisfied as he was ever going to be in a situation like this, and untangled their fingers so he could start packing up his stuff. Once all his books were put away, he turned back to Jensen, that little worried frown creasing his forehead once more. 'Maybe I should stay,' he said, reaching out and cupping Jensen's blazing cheek. 'No, definitely not,' Jensen replied, even as he leaned into the touch. 'You know I can't study when you're here,' he lowered his voice slightly so no one would hear him, ''cause you never let me actually study.' A smile graced Jared's face then for the first time since Jensen had stumbled into school that morning with the fever from hell. 'True,' he said, letting his thumb trail across Jensen's full bottom lip. 'Maybe that's why I should stay...maybe I could-' 'No,' Jensen said again, more firmly this time, as he raised a finger and pointed it at his boyfriend. 'This is exactly what I'm talking about.' He gently shook off Jared's hand, smiling slightly to hopefully take the sting out of the rejection, and pushed against his boyfriend's chest. 'Now go. The sooner you leave, the sooner I can get home.' And that seemed to do it; the thought of Jensen getting to go home sooner rather than later enough to convince Jared to finally leave. 'Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, baby,' he said, leaning down to kiss Jensen goodbye. But Jensen ducked away from him at the last moment, putting a hand in front of his mouth. 'No, I'm sick. I don't want you getting sick as well.' Jared just laughed, though, and batted Jensen's hand out of the way before pressing a firm kiss to Jensen's lips. He shrugged when Jensen looked up at him, shocked. 'If we're both sick, that means I get to spend the next few days in bed with you. I'm not seeing the downside here.' Jensen rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help the pleased blush that rose to his cheeks at the words. A blush that only deepened when Jared kissed him once more before jogging away. His boyfriend was crazy, completely and utterly crazy, and Jensen was hopelessly in love with him. **** ***** Chapter Three. ***** Chapter Notes This should've been longer, but I have to go to work now, so I'm really sorry about that. I'll try and get the next little bit up when I get back. Sorry. :-/ Chapter_Three.   When Jensen woke up several hours later, his skin didn't just feel hot anymore, it felt like it was on fire. His shirt was soaked through with sweat, and his body ached so badly, he almost couldn't lift his head off the desk. God, maybe this wasn't the flu after all. Maybe he was really sick. With a miserable groan, he rolled his head to the side so he could read the clock on the library wall. His eyes widened when he saw that it was nearly midnight, and he jolted upright in his seat, wincing when both his head and stomach protested the sudden movement. But he should've been home hours ago; hell, he was surprised his parents hadn't sent out a search party. They probably thought he was at Jared's...God, Jensen wished he was at Jared's. Not to mention the fact that the drama club must've finished their rehearsals ages ago, so the janitor had probably already locked up everything up without even bothering to check if anyone was still inside. Which meant Jensen was going to have to go all the way down to the security guard's office to ask Mark to let him out. And wasn't that just the perfect end to this incredibly shitty day? Shaking his head and cursing quietly under his breath - fucking Hitchens and his stupid fucking test - he got to his feet and hastily packed up his stuff. It wasn't until he was halfway to the library exit that he realised he was half hard in his pants. And that they felt...heavy. He stopped and reached behind himself, frowning slightly when his fingers met cold, wet denim. For one mortifying moment, he thought he'd wet himself, but...that really didn't make any sense since the front of his pants weren't wet at all. Still frowning, he absently reached up to wipe away the sweat dripping down his forehead and into his eyes...fuck, it was hotter than hell in he- And that was when it hit him. Oh no. Mouth gaping slightly, breath shallow, he slowly brought his arm back down to stare at his sweat slick fingers. At his flushed skin and shaking hands. Nonono, it couldn't be. He wasn't even eighteen. He wasn't even mated, for god's sake. He couldn't be in heat...he just couldn't be. But the sweat dripping off his fingers and the unpleasant dampness at the back of his pants told a whole different story. Shit shitshit. Dumping his backpack, he fumbled his cell phone out of his pocket and pressed down on the '1' to speed dial Jared before holding it up to his ear. When nothing happened, no ringing, no dial tone, nothing, he brought it back down and stared at the blank screen in horror. He pressed frantically at the power button - come on, come on - only to be greeted with the 'no battery' screen. God-fucking-dammit. Trying desperately not to panic, Jensen pocketed his phone again before dragging a chair over to the wall and positioning it under one of the library windows. Thankfully, the alarm didn't go off when he climbed up and shoved it open, and he quickly slid out and jumped down. The fall hurt, but that was a pretty small price to pay for not having to go and get Mark - an Alpha who'd properly smell Jensen's heat before Jensen even got to his office - to open the main door for him. The cool night air felt amazing against Jensen's overheated skin, and he stood for a few moments, eyes closed, just breathing it in and letting it calm his racing heart. And when he opened them again, he felt so much better - he could do this; there was no need to panic. It was late enough that he might even be able make it to Jared's house without being seen, and if he cut through the park and down Fifth, it would only take him about half an hour. So that's exactly what he did - he set off towards Jared's house, running like he'd never run before. **** Unfortunately, when he got to the park, it wasn't nearly as empty as he'd hoped it would be. Tom Welling and his asshole buddies were lounging on the picnic tables, surrounded by empty beer cans, and Jensen quickly dived behind a bush to avoid being seen. He immediately closed his eyes and held his breath, praying with everything he had that they wouldn't be able to smell him before he managed to get away. But obviously Luck wasn't on his side tonight - as if he hadn't guessed that already - because before he'd even started to sneak out of the bushes, he heard the ominous crunch of leaves and twigs to his right. Swallowing against his suddenly tight throat - he was screwed; he was so fucking screwed - Jensen looked up to find Tom standing over him, a leer on the Alpha's lips and his eyes bright with malice. Jensen sprang up instantly, intending to make a run for it, only to be grabbed from behind and pushed back to the ground as Tom climbed on top of him. 'Get off me,' he hissed, shoving at Tom's chest. But Tom just laughed and pressed him harder into the ground. 'I always knew you were a slut, Ackles, but coming out here while you're in heat? Really? You're that desperate for it?' he sneered, leaning in close and running his nose along Jensen's jaw. Jensen's stomach lurched at the touch, and he turned his face away with a grimace. 'How's Jared gonna feel knowing I got here first, huh?' Jensen's eyes narrowed - this fucker had always had it out for Jared - and before he could stop himself, or think better of it, he turned back and spat in the Alpha's smirking face. The smile fell from Tom's face - and Jensen heard a couple of stunned gasps from the bastard's friends, who were just standing there watching, the fucking cowards - quickly to be replaced by a twisted, ugly snarl as the boy growled, 'You fucking little bitch. You're gonna pay for th-' The wail of sirens cut Tom off, and both he and Jensen looked up in surprise. And relief, in Jensen's case, when he saw a police car pull up a few feet away from them. Oh, thank god. Tom was off him in a second, of course, and he and his crew bolted before the cop had even opened his car door. As they sped away, Jensen quickly got to his feet as well, brushed himself off and set off for Jared's place again. He'd maybe taken half a dozen steps when he heard the cop yell behind him, 'Hey, kid, you want a lift?' And...that could work. Jensen was already dead on his feet - head and heart both pounding painfully against his skull and chest - and while he hated to admit it, his run-in with Tom had really shaken him. It had just been too close. If this cop hadn't shown up... He shuddered at the thought; God, he just wanted to get to Jared's, wanted his boyfriend to wrap his arms around him and hold him and tell him everything was going to be alright. So he turned around and jogged over to the cop's car. 'Thanks,' he said, pulling on the passenger side door handle. He frowned when it didn't open and looked up at the cop in confusion. 'Sorry, kid, you're gonna have to ride in the back. Only cops allowed to ride in the front,' the guy said with a laugh. Jensen barely kept from rolling his eyes: did he really look like he was in the mood for jokes right then? He didn't say anything, though, as he opened up the back door and climbed inside. Once he was settled, he rattled off Jared's address and leaned back against the cushioned seat, letting his eyes fall closed. Just a couple of minutes. Just a couple of minutes and he'd be with Jared. **** ***** Chapter Four. ***** Chapter Four.   Jensen jolted awake when he felt the car come to a stop and he blinked open his eyes. Rubbing them slightly, he peered out the window and saw...darkness. Not a single streetlight or house in sight - this was definitely not Jared's street. So why had they stopped? 'Hey, what...' he started, turning to the cop, only to trail off when he found the front seat empty. What the hell? Frowning, he reached for his door handle and pulled it, but the door didn't open. And when he leaned over to try the other door, he found that one locked too. His heart quickened in his chest - he didn't like this; he didn't like this at all. His eyes darted around him, looking for a way out, before catching sight on the police radio in the front seat. He couldn't get to it like this, though, not with the doors locked and the metal grid between the back and front of the car. He turned to his window, eyeing the glass thoughtfully; it really was the only way. If he smashed it, he should be able to open the door from the outside and get to the radio. He bit his lip, torn...damaging police property would no doubt land in a ton of trouble; he'd probably be grounded for weeks once his parents found out. He wracked his already frazzled brain for another idea, another plan to get out of this, but he couldn't come up with anything else. It wasn't like he had a whole lot of options trapped in this car like he was, and, fuck, it was the cop's fault anyway, for leaving him like this. So he slipped off his jacket, covered his elbow with it and pulled his arm back, ready to slam it into the glass. But before he could follow through with it, the other passenger door was wrenched open and the cop was climbing inside. And pinning Jensen to the seat. Jensen froze, heart hammering against his ribcage as he stared up in shock at the cop - the Alpha, he realised with a panicked jolt - on top of him. 'You know, little bitches shouldn't go walking around town on their own, especially not like bitches in heat,' the cop breathed against his cheek. Jensen felt the blood run from his face at the words. No...no. The guy had just savedhim from this...he couldn't...he was a cop, for fuck's sake. Jensen should've been safe with him. 'I'm on my way to my Alpha, my mate, now,' Jensen hissed, squirming in the man's tight hold. The Alpha gave a cruel laugh and shook his head. 'Nah, you're not mated, sweetheart,' he said, pressing his nose against Jensen's neck and inhaling his scent. 'There's no claim on you.' He paused to slather a wet kiss into Jensen's skin, before adding, 'Not yet.' Jensen sucked in a harsh breath at that, staring up at the Alpha in disbelief. In horror. No, he wouldn't do that...would he? Taking Jensen unwillingly would be bad enough, but to claim him as well? Bind him to...to his rapist forever. It was unthinkable, even in this backwards town. 'No, please, don't,' he begged, trying once more to pull his hands free of the man's iron grip. 'Please, I don't want this...please...' 'Of course you want it,' the Alpha growled, transferring both Jensen's wrists to one hand so he could reach between them and grab Jensen's half hard dick. Jensen cried out, cringing away from the harsh touch. 'It's what all you bitches want. A fat knot stretching your slutty, little hole. And guess what? That's exactly what you're gonna get.' 'No!' Jensen yelled, kicking out his legs in an effort to push the Alpha off him, but he was just so big...so much bigger than Jensen, and Jensen's struggles got him absolutely nowhere. He was trapped. Pinned like a butterfly to a board; skewered right through the heart by cruel hands and a crueler smile. Tears stung his eyes as he his belt was unbuckled and his zipper pulled down. 'Please don't do this...' But the Alpha didn't listen, didn't even acknowledge his plea, just flipped him onto his stomach and yanked his jeans down around his thighs. And before Jensen could even catch his breath, he felt the Alpha's heavy body settle against his own, crushing him into the seat. He fought harder than ever then - nononono - even though he knew it wouldn't do any good. Even though he knew he'd already lost. It hurt when the Alpha shoved inside him, but not as much as Jensen wanted it to, not as much as it should've done; his traitorous body, so slick and open and ready to be mated, offered no resistance. It just let the bastard in, like he had a right to do this. To take this from him. And from Jared. When the guy's knot finally swelled inside him, Jensen bit down so hard on his bottom lip, he cut clean through it and flooded his mouth with blood...but he finally stopping fighting. Because it was over. He was mated and claimed, and there was no going back. God, he'd let Jared down so badly. He'd destroyed their perfect future because he'd been too fucking stupid to see what this bastard really wanted, and he'd been too goddamn weak to fight back and stop it from happening. A tear squeezed its way past his tightly shut eyes then, and he let out a shuddering breath against the leather beneath him. I'm so sorry, Jared...I'm so fucking sorry... **** ***** Chapter Five. ***** Chapter_Five.   Jared smiled when he heard his balcony door slide open. He hadn't expected to see Jensen again tonight, not with Hitchens' test and how crappy Jensen had been feeling earlier, but clearly his boyfriend just couldn't get enough of him. Smirking, he rolled over and flicked on the light. 'Just couldn't stay away, hu...oh my god, Jensen, what happened?' He was up and off the bed in an instant, rushing over and pulling his boyfriend into his arms, just as Jensen fell against him. 'Baby, what's wrong?' he asked in a panicked whisper, almost too afraid to hear the answer because this - Jensen shaking against him, clinging to Jared's shirt like it was only thing keeping him on his feet - was setting off alarm bells Jared hadn't even known he had. Heart pounding, he leaned down to press a kiss to Jensen's temple, only to recoil when his nose was assaulted by thick Alpha scent. What the fuck...he thought, staring down at Jensen in shock. No, he had to have smelled wrong, or maybe Jensen had sat too close to another Alpha in the library and the scent had worked its way into his clothes or...or...something. Hesitantly, he pressed his nose into Jensen's hair and took a long, deep breath. That same cloying Alpha scent instantly hit his nostrils and he grimaced, stomach turning slightly, but it wasn't until he caught Jensen's lighter, sweeter scent underlying it, woven through it, that he felt his knees go weak. Oh god, this couldn't be happening. Jensen wouldn't cheat on him; he just wouldn't. But there was no mistaking that Alpha scent - the Alpha scent that most definitely wasn't Jared's - nor the way it was intertwined with Jensen's. As if they belonged together; as if their owners were mated. 'Jensen,' he choked out, his throat tight and his eyes suddenly stinging with tears. Jensen let out a sob then, shaking his head against Jared's shoulder. 'I'm sorry,' he breathed, clutching at Jared's shirt. 'I'm so sorry...it was all my fault...I was so fucking stupid...I'm sorry...I'm so, so sorry...I didn't want it...he said I did, but I didn't. I love you, I've always loved you...I didn't want it...' 'Shhh, baby, shhh,' Jared soothed, stroking a hand absently down Jensen's back as he tried to decipher what Jensen was saying. I didn't want it... He said I did, but I didn't... And just like that, everything came together with a horrifying snap and Jared had to clamp his jaw shut to keep from throwing up. No...that wasn't...that couldn't have happened. Not to Jensen. Not tohisJensen. No, please...anything but that. But then he looked down at Jensen in his arms - at the way his boyfriend was clinging to him, at the scratches and bruises covering his arms, at the tension riding his entire body - and he felt the last shreds of hope that he was reading this wrongly slip through his fingers. He closed his eyes and pulled Jensen closer. 'God, baby, I-' He was cut off by a knock on his door, and he looked up to see his mom opening it and stepping inside. He narrowed his eyes, about to chew her out for walking into his room invited and disturbing them like this, but his anger faded away the second he caught sight of her face. She was white as a sheet, and her gaze was flickering worriedly between the two of them, and Jared swallowed nervously - whatever she'd come to tell them wasn't good. He just knew it. And unfortunately he was right. 'Um, Jensen, honey, there's an...an Officer Morgan waiting downstairs for you. He says he's come to take you...home,' she said, her voice thick and her eyes shining with confusion and unshed tears. But though Jensen must've heard her, he didn't move; he just shook his head and held onto Jared even tighter. 'Please don't let him take me...please,' he whispered into Jared's neck, 'please...' Jared didn't know what to do; what to say - a mating was binding. A contract between mates that could never been dissolved, except by death. His mind was reeling; he never thought something like this would ever happen in his town, let alone to his future mate. It was wrong on so many levels to claim an unwilling Omega, even if it wasn't technically illegal. Fuck, why would anyone even wanta mate who didn't want them? He opened his mouth to ask his mom what he should do - because there had to be a way out this; there just had to be - only to snap it shut again when he heard the sound of heavy footsteps outside his room. His gaze flickered towards the door again and his eyes widened when a huge man - over six feet of solid, compact muscle, with cold, hard eyes and an unforgiving mouth - he'd never seen before strode though it. Jesus Christ, he thought, instinctively pulling Jensen closer. 'Come on, Jensen, time to go home,' the man said, walking up to them and laying a giant hand on Jensen's shoulder. The second those long fingers touched him, Jensen went wild. He flew out of Jared's arms and backed up into the opposite corner of the room, his eyes darting between Jared and the other Alpha before finally settling on Jared. 'Jared,' he begged, 'please, don't make me go with him. Please. You don't know what he did...you don't know...I can't...' Jared's eyes burned as he stared at his terrified boyfriend - fuck, ex- boyfriend - but even he knew there was nothing he could do. If Jared tried to intervene, if he tried to get between an Alpha and his claimed Omega, they'd have him behind bars before he knew what hit him. Hell, Officer Morgan might even cart him off there himself, and then Jensen would stillhave to go home with him. At a total loss, Jared turned imploring eyes on his mom, desperate for her to give him some kind of solution here, some guidance to get them out of this mess, but she just shook her head. Oh, God, what was he supposed to do?? He couldn't let this happen...but there was nothing he could do to stop it. He was crying himself now, tears slipping thick and fast down his cheeks as he watched helplessly as the Alpha rounded on Jensen, grabbed him by the arm and dragged him towards the door. Jensen was still begging, still pleading with Jared to save him, and Jared felt his heart split clean in two as he choked out a pained, 'I'm sorry'. The look of devastated betrayal Jensen shot him then, just before he was hauled out of the room, would haunt Jared till the day he died. The second Jensen was gone, Jared fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands. 'Oh god, I'm so sorry,' he said again, the words as empty, as meaningless, then as they'd been when Jensen was still in the room. He felt his mom crouch down next to him, but he flinched away when she tried to pull him into her arms. 'Don't,' he said, 'just don't...' He couldn't let her do that - couldn't let her comfort him when Jensen...when he...oh god... 'Jared, sweetheart, there was nothing you could've done,' his mom said, inching closer but not reaching out for him again. But Jared just shook his head because that wasn't true. He should've protected Jensen better. He should've been there to stop it. Fuck, he'd promised to always keep Jensen safe, and he'd let this happen? 'Just...just leave me alone,' he choked out as he got to his feet so he could stagger over to his bed and collapse onto it in a heap. The sheets still smelled of Jensen and he buried his face in them, even though it just made him cry harder. All those memories - holding Jensen as he fell sleep; kissing him awake in the morning; licking his way across pale, freckled skin - reminding him of just how much everything had changed; of how much he'd lost. He cried himself to sleep that night, wrapped up in Jensen's scent, desperately holding onto a future, onto a life, that no longer existed. For either of them. **** 'Get in there.' Jensen stumbled as Jeff all but threw him into the bedroom, barely keeping his feet as the man marched in behind him. 'Do you have any idea how that made me look?' Jeff growled. 'Traipsing from house to house looking for you, like I can't even control my own fucking Omega, and then to find you clinging to that other Alpha like a goddamn bitch in heat. Christ.. That was just...un-fucking-acceptable.' Jenen winced when Jeff grabbed his arm in a crushing grip and pulled him closer. 'You hear me, boy, I won't tolerate such a lack of respect under this roof.' He let Jensen go then, and Jensen couldn't help but sigh in relief that he was out of Jeff's cruel grip. His relief didn't last long, though, when he saw Jeff undoing his belt - no, not again, not tonight, please god - and sliding the leather free. 'Take off your shirt.' Jensen blinked in shock, then in confusion, because that hadn't been what he'd expected Jeff to say at all. He'd expected the Alpha to tell him to take off his pants, or perhaps bend over so he could tear them off himself like he had in the back of his police cruiser. Jensen shuddered at the memory. 'Are you disobeying me for a secondtime this evening?' Jeff asked, his voice dropping into an even more dangerous tone than before, and Jensen quickly pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. No sooner had the fabric hit the carpet than Jeff was lunging towards him, gripping him by the neck and forcing him to his knees. 'What...What are doing?' Jensen gasped, struggling against the hand on the back of his neck. 'Teaching my Omega a lesson he won't soon forget,' Jeff answered, and Jensen barely had a second to process those ominous words before Jeff's belt came down across his bare back. He cried out and instantly pushed to his feet, thrashing his head from side to side until he managed to get free of Jeff's hold. 'Get back on your knees,' Jeff ordered through gritted teeth, the belt hanging from one tightly curled fist. 'No,' Jensen said, setting his mouth in a determined line as he straightened his back despite the way it pulled at his torn skin. The backhand across his face caught him by surprise and sent him tumbling to the floor. Jensen hadn't even seen Jeff move - how could a man that size move so damn fast? He made to stand up again but didn't get any further than his hands and knees before Jeff delivered a series of short, hard kicks to his stomach that sent him crashing back to the floor, the wind knocked from his lungs. And that was when his real punishment began. Jeff rained down blow after blow across Jensen's spine and shoulders until it felt like his skin was on fire...until he couldn't do much more than curl in on himself and wait for it to end. It felt like a lifetime before Jeff finally stepped back and let Jensen breathe again. By then, Jensen's face was wet with tears and his throat sore from screaming, and he just wanted this goddamn nightmare to end. But Jeff wasn't done with him yet. Leaning down, he grabbed Jensen by the neck, hauled him upright and slammed him into the wall. Jensen cried out as his ravaged back hit the plaster. 'This is what happens when you disrespect me, boy; thisis what happens when you disobey me. Understand?' When Jensen didn't answer - the pain coursing through his throbbing body making it a little difficult to focus on anything - Jeff gave him a harsh shake and asked again, 'Do you understand?' Jensen swallowed painfully. 'Yes.' 'And if I ever see that Alpha touching you again; if I ever catch even a whiff of his scent on you,' he hissed, leaning in close enough for his next words to waft right over Jensen's lips, 'I'll kill him.' Jensen sucked in a harsh breath at that, eyes going wide in horror, and gave a terrified nod. He didn't even bother trying to stay on his feet when Jeff finally let him go; instead just sinking to the floor and burying his face in his knees. He'd lost everything today. His virginity, his independence, his future mate, and now he was losing his best friend too. It was just too much. 'Now get off the floor and come to bed,' Jeff growled as he walked away. 'Don't make me come over there and get you. You won't like it if I do.' So unable to handle another beating that night, on top of everything else, Jensen forced himself to his feet and did exactly as his Alpha had asked. **** ***** Chapter Six. ***** Chapter Notes Sorry, this is a very tiny chapter, simply because there's a time leap between this chapter and the next one. With hindsight, I probably should've tacked it onto the last chapter. :-/ Sorry about that. Chapter_Six.   Oh god,finally, Jared thought as he rounded the corner and saw Jensen. He'd been looking for him all day, and this was the first time he'd caught even a glimpse of him. He wondered, for what must've been the hundredth time, if Jensen was maybe avoiding him; he wouldn't blame him if he was. Jared had been an idiot last night, letting that asshole take Jensen away like that. Without so much as a word of reassurance from Jared that he would get them out of this. He'd been in shock, too stunned to think straight, and he'd just...let it happen. And that was not okay. Not by any stretch of the imagination, and Jared knew he'd never forgive himself for it. He just had to hope that Jensen would, once this was all behind them and nothing more than a terrible memory. Because they were going to find a way out of this - some loophole, some crazy scheme; hell, if worse came to worse, Jared wasn't above simply smuggling Jensen out in the middle of the night and whisking him away - and then he and Jensen were going to get back on track. And between now and then, Jared was going to spend every single moment he could with Jensen before he had to send him home to that bastard. 'Jen,' he called out as he jogged over, a relieved smile curling his lips. A relieved smile that immediately faltered when Jensen didn't turn around, then turned into a frown when Jensen just closed his locker and hurried away, as if he hadn't heard Jared calling him. Which was complete bullshit; everyone in the corridor had turned to look at Jared when he'd yelled Jensen's name. Everyone except Jensen that was. Damn it. He obviously was mad at Jared. Picking up the pace, Jared ran down the corridor after him, not stopping till he was standing in front of Jensen. 'Hey, man, come on, don't run away from me.' Jared's heart clenched painfully when Jensen avoided his gaze. 'Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I'm sorry I-' 'No, I'm sorry,' Jensen interrupted suddenly, and Jared couldn't help but feel a little relieved to hear Jensen's voice. Sure, Jensen's eyes were still locked on the floor between them instead of looking at him, but at least he wasn't ignoring him anymore. 'I...I shouldn't have acted like that yesterday. I was tired and upset and...and it wasn't fair to you to do that.' 'No, Jen,' Jared said, stepping closer and reaching out, 'that's not wh-' 'Jeff explained everything when we got home,' Jensen cut him off again as he stumbled back, away from Jared's outstretched hand, 'and...we sorted it all out. It's...he's a good match for me.' Jared blinked in surprise. He couldn't have heard that right, because that sounded a lot like Jensen had accepted this, and that just...just didn't make any sense. Not after everything that had happened. 'So you're...happy about this?' Jared asked, not even trying to keep the incredulity out of his voice. It felt like an honest-to-god punch to the gut when Jensen nodded, and Jared rocked back on his heels slightly, winded and barely able to catch his breath. No, no, this wasn't how this was supposed to go. They needed to talk, get a plan together, but when Jensen spoke again - a hurried, 'Look, I've gotta go; I'm already late for Chem. I'll see you lat...I mean, bye, Jared' - Jared could do little more than gape after him, unable to take his eyes off him until Jensen had turned the corner and disappeared from his sight. Happy? Jensen was happy about this. Huh...Ten minutes ago, Jared would've bet good money that he could never feel as bad as he felt last night, but, wow, had he been wrong. Because this was worse. The guilt and helplessness he'd felt then were nothing compared to this. He hadn't even considered the idea that Jensen might actually be okay - no, not just okay, but happy - with all this, and honestly he didn't know how to deal with that information. His throat felt thick and swollen and his hands were shaking, and he wanted nothing more than to run after Jensen and make him take it back. To show him that Jared was one he was meant to be with, the one he was meant to be happy for the rest of his life with, but he couldn't do that. If Jensen really was happy, who was Jared to take that away from him? If Jared truly loved him, he'd put Jensen's feelings first, right? No matter how much it pained him. Hell, he should...he should be happy for him. Jared felt tears rise to his eyes then, and he clenched his jaw to hold them back. No, he just couldn't do it. Maybe one day he'd be able to be happy for Jensen, but not today. Not today. **** ***** Chapter Seven. ***** Chapter_Seven. Two_months_later.   Jensen stared up at the ceiling, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, his muscles aching from straining to keep still and not pull away as Jeff kissed and licked his way down his neck. He hated when Jeff did this. He didn't want this. As bad as Jeff simply shoving him down and fucking him was, it was preferable to this - this weird mockery of affection. Jeff could whisper a thousand sweet nothings into Jensen's skin and Jensen wouldn't ever believe a word of them. Not when those sweet nothings were lost in a sea of harsh words and vile taunts. Not when his skin was constantly covered in scars and bruises, evidence of just how empty those words really were. 'God, you're so beautiful,' Jeff breathed and Jensen squeezed his eyes closed. Those words, whispered from other lips so long ago, didn't belong in this room. Didn't belong on Jeff's cruel tongue. Jeff's hand wormed its way between his thighs then, and Jensen obediently spread his legs - he'd learned long ago that it was just easier this way - to let him in. He even managed to not flinch for once when Jeff's fingers brushed his hole. 'Still nothing,' Jeff growled against his neck, all the earlier tenderness suddenly gone from his voice, and Jensen's eyes snapped open. Jeff had reared back and was staring down at him, his gaze narrowed and furious. 'Two fucking months and you still can't get it through your thick skull that you're mine?' 'I...I...' Jensen didn't know what to say. He didn't know what more he could do. 'I know I'm yours...I do...I-' 'Really?' Jeff snarled, plunging a finger into Jensen's dry hole so viciously that Jensen couldn't help but cry out. ''Cause your body sure doesn't, and if your body doesn't, it's because your stupid head hasn't accepted it yet.' He flipped Jensen roughly onto his stomach and pressed up close behind him. 'Is it that other Alpha? Are you still pining after him? Is that the problem here?' Jensen's eyes widened. 'No,' he denied quickly, his voice breathless with panic. 'No, I haven't...he's not...I haven't spoken to him in weeks.' And he hadn't. He'd avoided every one of Jared's phone calls, had switched all of his classes and routes to and from school; hell, he'd barely laid eyes on Jared since that day in the corridor. That day he'd broken Jared's heart - and his own - to keep him safe. Jeff inched closer then, breath hot on Jensen's neck, and Jensen's stomach went tight with fear. 'But you still want him don't you?' Yes, Jensen thought, closing his eyes. Yes...always. 'Maybe I need to take him out of the equation. Maybe if he wasn't around to tempt you anym-' Before Jeff could finish the threat - the promise? - Jensen rolled back over, reached up and pulled him into a desperate kiss. His heart was thundering wildly in his chest now, every beat a painful reminder of just how more Jeff could take from him if he decided Jared was an issue, and he pressed his body harder against Jeff's in an effort to distract him. Come on, come on... It took a few moments, but Jeff soon gave in, grabbing hold of Jensen's face and shoving his tongue into Jensen's mouth. And Jensen let him. He could prove to Jeff that Jared wasn't a problem; even if his stupid body wouldn't listen, Jensen could show him. He could convince him that Jensen was his, and only his. So with fresh determination thrumming through him - it was for Jared; he could do this for Jared - he broke the kiss and guided the Alpha onto his back so he could straddle his thighs. He thought for a second about grabbing the lube that Jeff used sometimes, when he was feeling generous, when Jensen had been good, but then decided against it. No need to remind Jeff of what had set him off in the first place. And besides, it wasn't like this would be the first time he'd taken Jeff dry; it would hurt like hell, but he knew he could do it. Jeff's hands had immediately settled on his hips, thumbs digging into the bruises already there, and Jensen made himself focus on that small pain as he reached behind himself and positioned Jeff at his entrance. He didn't wait, didn't let himself think; he just rocked himself down on the Alpha's thick cock. It took forever to get it all the way inside and by the time Jeff bottomed out, there were tears running down Jensen's face and sweat coating every inch of him. But Jeff seemed satisfied and that was all that mattered. He leered up at Jensen, hands roaming across his body, fingers reaching down and tracing where they were joined, as he thrust his hips up against Jensen's body. Jensen blocked him out completely - his touch, his words, his face - focusing solely on the slow, languid rolls of his own hips. Don't think...just don't think about it. It wasn't long before Jeff got bored with that though, and with a sly grin, he hauled Jensen off him so he could shove him onto his back. Jensen's first instinct, like always, was to snap his legs closed, but he pushed it down - this was what he'd wanted, wasn't it? Jeff too distracted to think about Jared - and forced his legs open to let Jeff settle between them. It hurt when Jeff forced his way back inside, but he didn't pull away; he just let Jeff thrust furiously into him again and again until his knot finally swelled up enough to lock them together. Jensen breathed out a sigh of relief then, relaxing back into the mattress, and let himself be turned onto his side. This was better. Jensen didn't mind this as much, because he didn't have to pretend when Jeff was spooned up against his back. Jeff couldn't see his face - couldn't see that Jensen had his eyes squeezed tightly shut or that he was biting his lip hard enough to draw blood to keep himself from trying to wrestle his way free like he so wanted to. He was almost asleep when Jeff spoke again, his voice loud in the silence of their room. 'You know I'm still going to have to punish you for this, right? Your body needs to learn to respond to me properly - to give me what I want when I want it.' He kissed the side of Jensen's face gently and Jensen couldn't hold back a shudder. 'But I'll go easy on you 'cause you were such a good boy just now. My good boy...' **** Enough was enough. Jared got that Jensen had started a new life, but that didn't mean Jensen had the right to completely cut Jared out of it. Like he was nothing. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair, and Jared wasn't going to put up with it anymore. So he'd come up with a plan; Jensen couldn't run away from him if he didn't see Jared coming, could he? Sure, it was a little awkward and a lot uncomfortable crouching behind the bush he'd chosen as his hiding place, but he didn't care as long as he got to talk to Jensen. Unfortunately, by the time Jensen finally appeared, two goddamn hours later, Jared's legs had completely cramped up on him and he only just managed to catch the other boy before he hurried off. 'Hey, Jen,' he called, stumbling after him on shaky legs. Jensen startled at the sound of his voice, spinning round with wide eyes and clutching onto his book bag almost desperately. 'What...what are doing out here, Jared?' I'm here because you've been avoiding me for months and this is the only way I could think of to get you to talk to me. I'm here because I'm pissed that you've thrown away our friendship just because you got mated. I'm here because you're being a huge jerk right now and I'm not going to let you keep treating me that way. Of course, he didn't say any of those things. He hadn't come here to fight with Jensen - although that would've been preferable to the silence he'd endured these past two months - so all he said was, 'I came to talk.' 'Look, Jared,' Jensen said, quickly looking over his shoulder with a jerky, almost panicked turn of his head, and it was then that it hit Jared just how nervous Jensen seemed. He looked almost...scared. Jared was so distracted studying Jensen that he barely even heard Jensen's quiet, 'I've gotta go, Jeff's expecting me home. Sorry...' and before he knew what was happening, Jensen had turned around and started to jog across the park. Away from Jared. Again. Jared clenched his jaw angrily - God-fucking-dammit. That was it. He was done being nice; he was getting some fucking answers, and he was getting them now - and set off after him. 'No,' he yelled, 'you don't get to do this anymore! You don't get to run away from me. Stop, Jensen, fucking STOP!' But Jensen didn't stop, didn't even slow down, so Jared did the only thing he could; as soon as he was close enough, he reached out and grabbed him. Unfortunately, all he got for his troubles was a handful of leather as Jensen's jacket slipped from his shoulders and into Jared's hands. He was about to reach out again when he caught a glimpse of Jensen's shirt - a glimpse that brought his world a screeching halt - and, instead, jerked back with a horrified gasp. Jensen stumbled to a stop at the sound, and turned back to Jared. They both stared at each other - their faces wearing almost identical expressions of horror - for a long moment, and then Jensen stepped forward and tore the jacket from Jared's grasp. His hands were shaking as he wrestled it back on, and Jared wasn't doing much better. Anger, guilt, fear, regret, sorrow all stormed inside him, battling for dominance in a tempest so violent it left him breathless. 'Jensen...' he whispered, watching helplessly as Jensen covered up his blood streaked t-shirt. 'Don't,' Jensen snapped, turning back to him. His voice was clipped with anger and his mouth twisted into a snarl, but his eyes were scared. Terrified.'This is none of your damn business, Jared. Just...just stay out of it.' 'But, Jen, this isn't right. He can't do th-' 'I said stay out of it, Jared. What happens between me and my Alpha,' Jared couldn't hold back a flinch at that, 'is nothing to do with you.' And this time when Jensen took off, Jared let him go. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to fix this. He didn't care what Jensen said; what happened between Jensen and his Alpha was most definitely his business if the scumbag was hurting him. Because despite everything, he still loved Jensen as much as he always had. He still wanted to protect him and keep him safe, and that was exactly what he was going to do. Come hell or high water, Jeff wasn't going to lay a hand on Jensen ever again. **** ***** Chapter Eight. ***** Chapter Notes Ngl, this chapter KICKED MY ASS this week. I've re-written it, like, a million freaking times and I can't bear to sit staring at it any longer. So I'm just gonna post it; please tell me if you think it needs a re-write and I'll take another look. :-/ Chapter_Eight.   Ohgodohgodohgod... Jensen paced the bathroom floor, his heart pounding and his mind racing. How could he have let this happen? He'd been so careful these last couple of months - always made sure every bruise was covered, every cut hidden - and now that had all been for nothing. Because Jared had seen. Jensen had slipped up and now Jared knew, and there was no way Jared was just going to let this go. And it was going to get him killed. Jeff had told Jensen more times than he could count exactly what he'd do to Jared if he ever got in the way...if Jensen ever got it into his head to run back to him. How he'd make it look like an accident; how he'd make sure no one ever investigated. And Jensen knew he could make it happen - he'd seen the way the other cops in this town damn near worshipped the ground Jeff walked on. If he said he needed something covered up, they'd move heaven and earth to do it. God...why couldn't Jared have just left well enough alone? He'd been safe. Jensen had made sure of it and now... Whirling round, he grabbed hold of the sink, clutching the sides hard enough to hurt his fingers, but he didn't loosen his grip. He needed this right then - the feel of something solid beneath his hands - to ground him so he could think. Okay...okay...maybe he could talk to Jared. Convince the other boy that he'd simply fallen and grazed his back earlier in the day and that he hadn't realised how bad it was. Would Jared buy that? He might, if Jensen was convincing enough. And it wasn't like this would even be the biggest lie he'd told in these last few weeks; this would be child's play compared to some of the others. Hell, if he could get his dad, an ex-marine, to buy that he was happily mated to someone he'd only just met, he could damn well convince Jared of this. He knew he could. Jensen felt his panic slowly start to recede now that he had a plan - a good plan; a plan he would make work, no matter what - and he finally let go of the sink and took a step back. Glancing up into the mirror, he winced at his reflection - skin too pale, eyes too wild - but he didn't think Jeff would notice. As long as Jensen was in their bed, waiting for him, when Jeff got home, Jensen looking a little paler than usual wasn't going to raise any alarm bells. But first, he needed to shower. Even though he'd already showered once today, even though he was dead on his feet, he couldn't risk there being a trace of Jared's scent on him after their encounter in the park. If Jeff smelled that, no amount of planning or lying was going to keep Jared safe. So scrubbing a hand down his face - fuck, he was so tired - he turned and switched on the shower before stripping off his pants and boxers and throwing them into the hamper by the sink. He'd toss all his clothes into the washing machine before he went to bed, just in case. And now came the really fun part. Taking a deep breath, he carefully unbuttoned his shirt, slipped his arms out of the sleeves and reached round to peel it off his back. But even though he went slowly, he couldn't help the gasp of pain he let out each time the cotton tore away one of the still healing cuts. He'd cleaned them up as best he could that morning, and he'd thought they'd stopped bleeding, but some of them had been pretty deep - the ones where Jeff's belt buckle had caught him - and they must've re-opened during the day. He'd have to be more careful about that in future. Now naked, he was just about to step into the shower when the bathroom door suddenly swung open and he jumped so hard, he nearly slipped and cracked his head open. Luckily, he managed to catch hold of the shower curtain at the last moment, but his heart was hammering against his ribcage all the same at the close call. Then it hit him that Jeff was home, before he'd showered or thrown his clothes in the wash, and Jensen's heart began to race for a whole different reason as he stared at his Alpha standing in the doorway. Jeff didn't look angry at least, which meant he hadn't smelled Jared yet, and Jensen was just really glad he'd been too out of his mind with panic to remember to lock the door. Jeff hated it when he did that - said Omegas had nothing to hide from their Alphas and that locked doors didn't belong in his house - so it looked like Jensen had finally caught a break. Then Jeff's eyes narrowed and Jensen's stomach dropped....or maybe not. 'What are you doing in here?' he asked, eyes darting around the room suspiciously. Jensen's heart stuttered in his chest when the Alpha's eyes fell on the laundry hamper, on the blood stained sleeve hanging out of it, and he was across the room in an instant, his fingers quickly undoing Jeff's tie and his lips curved into a seductive little smile - a smile he'd never worn before that night in the park. He'd never had to fake anything before then, with Jared everything had been real, but needs must, and what he needed right now was a distraction. 'I was thinking of taking a shower,' he said, slipping the tie from around Jeff's neck and starting in on the buttons of the Alpha's shirt. 'Maybe you could help me with that?' He looked up at Jeff through his lashes then, bottom lip caught between his teeth, playing the good little Omega - Please don't smell it...please don't smell it...please... - and was relieved to see a flash of lust in Jeff's eyes. He let himself be walked backwards towards the shower, reaching out at the last moment to flick his sleeve into the hamper just before he was pushed inside. He couldn't even bring himself to care when Jeff slammed him up against the shower wall, adding to the bruises already littering his aching body, because he'd made it. Hot water was raining down on him, washing away every trace of Jared and what happened tonight before Jeff had had the chance to find out about it. Now all Jensen had to do was convince Jared that everything was fine between him and Jeff and everything would be alright. He winced as Jeff shoved two fingers inside him, pressing his face into the shower tiles and squeezing his eyes shut. Jared would be alright.   ****   'Why didn't you tell me?' Jared growled, slamming the book down on the table in front of his parents. 'Why didn't you tell me there was a way to get Jensen out of this?' He was livid; he didn't think he'd ever been so mad at them. At anyone, in fact. This all could've been over months ago - over the moment Jeff stepped into Jared's room - and Jensen would've been his right now, instead of at the mercy of the man who'd raped him. If they'd only told him that this law existed. His parents exchanged a guilty look that had Jared's hands curling into fists - so they hadknown about it, goddamn it - before his father said, 'You have to understand, Jared, we love Jensen, we do; he's like a son to us, but you...you're actually our son. And letting you go up against someone like Jeff, well, that would've been suicide.' 'So you just left Jensen to him? How was that better?' Jared yelled, hands shaking at his sides. Fuck, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. 'Yes, it was better because the alternative was you being dead and Jensen being stuck with him anyway. Tell me how that would've been better?' his father shot back, anger seeping into his own voice. 'Because I might've won!' God, he might've won and Jensen wouldn't have had to endure months of abuse at the hands of that bastard. 'I might've won,' he said again quietly, all but collapsing into the seat across from them and dropping his head into his hands. Because while Jeff might've been bigger and stronger than him, Jared would've been fighting for the love of his life. And Jared had to believe that would've made a difference. He couldn't help but flinch when a hand touched his shoulder, and he looked up to find his mom standing next to him. 'We couldn't risk it, honey, you have to understand that.' Shrugging her hand off, he shook his head. 'I don't. I don't understand it at all. You know what Jensen means to me; you know what happened that night. And...and...' he felt tears rise to his eyes, 'Jeff's been beating him. I caught up to Jensen tonight and I saw his...his shirt. It was covered in blood and I...all this time, I thought he was happy, he told me he was happy so I left it alone. Even though I didn't want to, I left it alone 'cause that was all that mattered, but...but that was all a lie. He wasn't happy...that...that fucking asshole...he...he's been...and I just let it...I let it happen.' Arms quickly wrapped around him, and even though he was mad at her, he couldn't help but give in, burying his face in her neck and letting her hold him as he cried. Everything was so fucked up. How had everything gotten so fucked up? Two months ago, his life had been completely perfect - he'd had Jensen, a college acceptance letter sitting on his desk and his whole future planned out. And now? Now, all that was ruined. It was a long time before he was able to compose himself and pull back. But when he finally managed it, he felt better - more determined; more sure of his decision - because in spite of everything, in spite of his tattered future and weary heart, he knew one thing. He knew that he belonged with Jensen, and that Jensen belonged with him. That future might've been lost, but that didn't mean they couldn't make a new one. A better one. 'I'm going round there tonight,' he said, voice strong, despite the tears on his cheeks. 'And I'm going to challenge Jeff.' His mom gasped next to him, her hand coming up to her mouth, and he watched his father's face drain of colour. 'Jared, you can't. Please think about what you're saying.' 'I have thought about it,' Jared countered. He knew the risks, knew that he might not come out of this, but the alternative was leaving Jensen to a lifetime of beatings and abuse, and that just wasn't acceptable. Jared wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did that. The guilt would eat him alive, piece by piece until there was nothing left, and that...that would be far worse than dying for the person he loved. 'And I'm not changing my mind.' 'No, no, Jared, this is insane,' his dad said, running his hands through his greying hair. 'This isn't happening. I'm not going to let this happen.' 'You can't stop me,' Jared replied, jaw set in a determined line. 'This is my decision.' His dad reached out and tore the book away from him then, flipping through the pages before sliding it back in front of Jared. 'You understand what that means, right?' he asked, jabbing his finger at the open page. 'If you challenge him, he can kill you with absolutely no repercussions. Nothing. Do you get that??' 'Yes,' Jared said, closing the book and pushing it away, 'and I don't care.' He looked up at his dad then, staring him right in the eye as he added, 'Tell me this, dad, what would you have done if it had been mom?' That seemed to bring his dad up short, the man's mouth snapping closed on whatever response he'd been about to make as his eyes flicked to his wife for a moment before settling back on Jared. Then he sagged in his chair, resignation and grim acceptance rounding his shoulders, and gave the barest of nods. 'Do you want us there?' And Jared almost said 'yes' - he didn't want to go through this alone - but he stopped himself at the last moment, shaking his head instead. If this didn't go his way, he didn't want his parents to have to watch him die. He couldn't put them through that. No, this was something he had to do alone - this was his fight. He watched as his dad stood up, slowly as if he'd aged twenty years in the last half hour, and came over to him. 'Be careful, kid, and don't take your eyes off him for a second,' he said, laying his hand on Jared's shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. 'Not for anything.' 'I won't,' Jared promised, putting as much confidence into his words as he could muster. His dad nodded, a sad smile replacing the stern frown he'd worn for most of the conversation. 'Good luck, Jay. No matter what happens, we're proud of you.' Jared's eyes darted up to his mom and despite her teary eyes and turned down lips, she gave a nod of her own. It was stupid, but Jared actually felt better knowing that even though this wasn't what they wanted, they supported him. All the more reason to win. 'Thanks,' he said finally, getting to his feet himself. 'I'll call you when it's over,' he added on his way towards the door, hoping that whatever happened tonight wasn't going to make a liar out of him.   **** ***** Chapter Nine. ***** Chapter Notes I can't bring myself to read through this one more time, lol - I've spent too long staring at these words already - so I really hope they're aren't any typos I've missed/it isn't too awful, lol. ;-) Chapter_Nine.   The look on Jensen's face when he opened the door and saw Jared standing on his doorstep said it all - face ashen; mouth gaping; eyes round with horror - and Jared kicked himself for ever having believed that Jensen was happy with Jeff. He swore, right there and then, that he'd spend the rest of their lives making that up to his mate. But that was for later; right now, he just had to focus on beating Jeff and getting Jensen back. 'Jen...' he started, but before he could get any further, before he could get out exactly why he was there, Jensen was taking him by the arm and ushering him back down the path. 'It's late,' the Omega said in a hushed voice, as if he was afraid of being overheard - and from everything Jared now knew, he suspected he probably was - 'I'll speak to you tomorrow, okay?' And while that sentence would've angered Jared before, made him think think that Jensen was avoiding him, now it just filled him with incredible sadness. This was why Jensen had been shutting him out. Not because he'd cast Jared aside, but because he was afraid of what Jeff might do if he ever caught them together. So instead of the snappy retort he would've made only yesterday, he said, as gently as he could, 'I'm not here to see you, Jensen; I'm here to see Jeff.' At that, Jensen's eyes went impossibly wider. 'W...what...no...' he said, shaking his head and all but shoving Jared away from the house now. But Jared dug his heels in and didn't let himself be moved any further down the path. 'No, Jensen, I'm not going anywhere. You can either go and get Jeff for me, or I can go inside and get him myself, your choice.' The words were harsh, he knew that, but there really wasn't a way to sugarcoat this; no matter what he said, Jensen wasn't going to be happy. Besides, this would all be worth it in the end, once he had Jensen back with him. 'No,' Jensen hissed, gaze darting towards the house for a second before focusing back on Jared, 'you don't understand. You can't...I can't let you...you don't understand what he'll do...he's told me...you don't know...' It didn't take a genius to see that Jensen was quickly working himself up to a panic attack, so Jared instantly stepped forward and placed his hands on Jensen's cheeks, hoping to calm him down. 'I won't let him hurt you again, I promise,' he said, his voice quiet but no less fervent for it. But instead of calming him down, the touch only seemed to agitate Jensen more. Tossing his head back, he pulled out of Jared's grip. 'It's not me I'm worried about. I...I can take it. But if he hurts you...I can't...I won't...I won't let that happen.' Um...what? Jared stared down at Jensen in confusion, a frown creasing his forehead. Jensen was worried abouthim? But that didn't make any sense; Jeff hadn't done anything to him. He and Jensen hadn't even seen each other since that day in the corridor, when Jensen had...oh. Understanding hit Jared like a ton of bricks and he stumbled back, mind going completely blank except for the burning rage slowly taking over his senses. Anger so strong, so all consuming, that in that moment there wasn't any room in his body for anything else. That fucking bastard. It was bad enough that he'd raped Jensen, beaten him until he bled, but to use Jared to keep him in line? No...that was just...god...Jared was going to kill him. Snap his neck. Crush his windpipe. Tear his fucking head clean off. And he was going to enjoy every second of it. He didn't even glance Jensen's way this time as he side stepped him and marched up to the front door, knocking - okay, slamming - his fist against it three times. The echo of his last knock had barely died away when he felt a hand grab his arm, and he looked down to see Jensen at his side again, trying to pull him away from the door. 'No, Jared, please don't do this...please...' But Jared held his ground, turning back to the door and waiting for Jeff to open it. He didn't have to wait long. Soon enough, he heard heavy footsteps on the other side of the wood, and he instinctively straightened his back and raised his chin. He might not be as tall as Jeff - not yet - but he wasn't exactly short either, and he'd put on a lot muscle these last few months with all the time he'd spent in the gym trying to keep his mind off Jensen. He had a real shot here, if he was smart about this. If he kept his head. As soon as Jeff opened the door, looming large enough to block all the light from the hallway and leave them in shadow, Jared said, 'I'm here to challenge your claim on Jensen.' Jeff blinked for a moment, clearly surprised by Jared's blunt and probably somewhat unexpected declaration, before his lips twisted into a cruel smirk. 'Are you now?' he said, leaning back against the doorframe. Jared opened his mouth to answer, but he didn't get the chance because Jensen was suddenly pushing his way between them and shoving Jared backwards. 'No,' the Omega said, reaching out to rest a hand on Jeff's chest. 'He doesn't...he doesn't know what he's saying...he doesn't mean it.' Jeff caught Jensen's hand, squeezing it until Jensen let out a pained hiss, and Jared had to grit his teeth to keep from punching the guy out. Soon. Soon, this would all be over and no-one would ever hurt Jensen again. 'Well, he sounds pretty serious to me, and you know what,' Jeff's smirk grew and his hand tightened around Jensen's, 'I think it sounds like a great idea.' Jensen just shook his head, his hand completely forgotten as he stared up at Jeff desperately. 'No, please,' he begged. 'We can go away...get out of here. We never have to see him again. Please, Alpha, I'll do anything. Please.' Jared's stomach turned over as he watched them - he really didn't want to think about what 'anything' entailed; he really didn't want to think how many times Jensen had made that promise - but he didn't look away. Just kept his eyes locked with Jeff's, letting him know that no matter what Jensen said, he wasn't backing down. And that he wasn't leaving here without Jensen by his side. 'You wanna do this now, boy?' Jared raised an incredulous eyebrow. Had Jeff seriously just asked that question? The asshole - who was still fucking crushing Jensen's hand - couldn't honestly think that Jared was ever going to leave Jensen alone with him ever again, could he? 'Yes,' he said shortly, voice clipped with barely concealed hatred. 'Well, let me just ring one of my buddies at the stati-' 'No, we're having someone neutral do this,' Jared cut him off, taking no small amount of satisfaction from the way Jeff's eyes narrowed at the interruption. 'I called the court, and they've arranged someone to come down here to adjudicate the fight.' He'd organised it all on his way over, sure that Jeff would try and pull a stunt like this, and he felt a smug smile of his own touch his lips as Jeff's expression darkened further. 'Good,' the man said, even though it was pretty damn obvious he wasn't all that happy with this turn of events. Not that Jared was particularly surprised. A guy who thought it was perfectly okay to beat his Omega on a regular basis was unlikely to baulk at a little cheating. Well, tough shit, asshole. By this point, Jensen looked close to passing out - his cheeks had paled to the disconcerting colour of curdled milk and his breathing was growing steadily more and more panicked as he looked frantically between them. Jared could almost see the wheels turning in the Omega's head as he tried to think of a way to put a stop this, to get Jared out of this, and while Jared really hated to be the cause of such distress - he desperately wanted to just take Jensen in his arms and tell him everything would be alright - he knew this was the only way. So, turning on his heel, Jared walked back out onto the lawn before stripping off his jacket and tossing it onto the grass. Then suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder, spinning him round. Jared raised his fists, certain that Jeff had decided to play dirty after all, before he saw it was actually Jensen in front of him and immediately dropped them back to his sides. 'Jen...' he sighed, already knowing what his best friend was going to say. And he wasn't disappointed. 'You can still run, okay?' Jensen said breathlessly, his hands batting restlessly over Jared's shirt, fussing in a way that Jared would've found adorable at any other time. 'I'll make sure he doesn't follow you. I'll make sure he never comes after you.' 'I can't do that,' Jared said softly, carefully capturing Jensen's hands against his shirt and holding them within his own. Jensen let out a pained sound at that, his whole face crumpling in despair as he dropped his head forwards onto Jared's chest. 'God...why? Why couldn't you have just left it alone, Jay?' 'This is why,' Jared replied, stroking his thumb gently across the already forming bruise around his right wrist. 'This is why, baby.' Jensen raised his head then, and his eyes trailed down to where Jared was holding him. 'I won't let him hurt you again...I just,' Jared swallowed, anger tightening his throat and making it difficult to get the words out, 'I can't let that happen again.' Jensen's gaze flickered back up to him, staring deep into Jared's eyes, and before Jared could figure out what was going on inside Jensen's head, he was being kissed. Hard and desperate, like this was their last night on earth. When Jensen finally broke the kiss, he didn't pull away; instead, sliding his cheek against Jared's and breathing into his ear, 'He's got a bad left knee and he got shot in his right shoulder last year. Hit him there if you can, and don't hold back.' Pressing a chaste kiss to Jared's cheek, he added in a wet, pained voice, 'I love you. I always have and I always will, no matter what happens.' And then he was pulling away and stepping off to the side, very pointedly not going back to his Alpha. Not that there was any doubt - after that little display - where his loyalties lay. Jared stared after him for a moment, heart pounding and lips tingling, before rolling his shoulders back - he could do this; he could do this for Jensen - and turning to face Jeff. And what he saw there was just perfect. It looked like he wasn't the only one affected by Jensen's actions, and he felt a satisfied smile slip onto his lips at the anger painted across the other Alpha's face. He couldn't resist driving the knife in just a little further, really grinding salt into that open wound, as he lifted a thumb to swipe, very deliberately, at his wet lips. Jeff growled at the gesture, taking a step forward before he could stop himself, and Jared's grin widened. Yeah, you see that, asshole, he's mine. And he always has been. He was just about to say as much when a voice from behind him called, 'This 52 Crescent Drive?' Jared turned around to greet the speaker and found himself face to face with a squat man in his late fifties. From the stern look on his face and the robe he was wearing, it was obvious who he was and what he was there for. Smiling politely, Jared walked towards him and stretched out his hand. 'Yes, this is 52 Crescent Drive. I'm Jared Padalecki; I called the hotline earlier.' The man shook his hand but he didn't return his smile, and Jared's own expression faltered a little at that. It struck him then that the man might stil be a friend of Jeff's - they all worked in the justice department after all - and Jared darted a panicked look over his shoulder. Thankfully, Jeff's face was still twisted into the same sullen scowl he'd been wearing moments before and the knot in Jared's stomach loosened. The guy was clearly just being professional...or maybe he was just pissed about being called out in the middle of the night. Either way, he wasn't going to be favouring Jeff and that was all that mattered. 'Sign here please,' the man said, holding out a clipboard and a pen. As soon as Jared took it, the man swept past him and handed a second clipboard to Jeff with the same instruction. Looking down, Jared quickly read over the document, skimming through all the details about claims and Omega ownership - ownership? Christ... - right up to the final clause. He couldn't deny that his hand shook slightly as he stared down at the words printed in stark, black ink, seemingly so innocuous there on the page, when they were actually anything but. I, Jared Padalecki, hereby agree to the terms and conditions laid out in this contract. By signing this, I am confirming that I understand that under Rule 72 of Claiming Law, the fate of the defeated Alpha or Beta in a Claiming Battle shall be decided by the victor of said Claiming Battle. I accept this covers anything up to and including execution. And for the first time since he'd found out that he could do this, his resolve wavered. He was only seventeen, he'd barely lived, and he was horrifying aware of just how unevenly matched he and Jeff were. The odds were stacked against him here and...what if he really did lose? Then this was it? This was the end? Gut churning, he raised his eyes and looked over at Jensen. At his perfect, beautiful, selfless Jensen. He was in a clean shirt now, not a hint of blood on this one, but it didn't take much for Jared to call to mind what his shirt had looked like before. And it didn't take much to imagine the wounds hidden beneath this one, or the hundreds of other injuries that Jared couldn't see. No...no, he couldn't leave Jensen to that without at least trying to save him. If he did, he'd never be able to forgive himself, and the idea of living with that guilt, it eating away at him like a relentless, gluttonous beast, was enough to turn Jared's insides to ice. So even though his hand was shaking, and even though he was more scared than he could ever remember being, he signed his name at the bottom of the contract and handed it back to the judge. The man already had Jeff's clipboard clutched in his hand, and he'd just finished marking out the fighting ground. Everything was ready. 'As you've just read, there are no rules here, anything goes, and the fight doesn't end until someone concedes or someone dies,' the judge informed them, moving to the side of the lawn to stand beside Jensen. Jared moved to the far edge of the lawn and watched as Jeff did the same at the other end. 'You ready for this, boy?' Jeff called to him. 'More than, old man,' Jared shot back, curling his hands into fists. You've had this coming for a long time, you son of a bitch. And like the shriek of a banshee, shrill and piercing and full of ominous intent, the whistle blew and it was on. Jared had almost expected Jeff to rush him as soon as the whistle sounded, use some of that weight and height to throw Jared off balance, but instead, the older man merely mirrored Jared's pose. Which just wasn't going to work at all - Jared needed this to be over nice and quick while his adrenaline was still pumping...while it was still keeping him sharp and on his toes. And Jeff, seasoned fighter that he was, probably knew that, was most likely planning to wait until Jared's focus finally slipped before making his move. Shit. Panic creeping along his skin, Jared quickly ran through a bunch of scenarios in his head of how to get Jeff to quit stalling, discarding one after another as stupid or downright suicidal until his mind flashed back to Jeff's earlier anger. To the moment the man had let his guard down for just a moment, and an idea struck him. It was probably the only way he'd get someone as well trained as Jeff to lose his cool. He hated to use Jensen like this, but this was life or death and he knew Jensen would understand. 'So how does it feel to know that he's mine even with your claim on him?' Jared taunted, licking his lips and hoping it reminded Jeff of the earlier kiss. Jeff's eyes narrowed, flicking over to Jensen for a moment before coming back to rest on Jared. Excellent. 'I should think it's pretty embarrassing, right? That a seventeen year old kid is more of an Alpha than you are.' He smirked. 'I guess it's true what then say, eh? Once you hit the big 4-0, not quite so much wood down there. And Jensen always did like a nice, har-' He barely even saw Jeff move before the man's fist was flying towards his jaw, but he mostly he managed to get out its way, the blow glancing off his skin. It hurt, but not nearly as much as it would've done had Jeff actually managed to land the hit. But this was just what Jared wanted, right? Jeff so mad, he let his training slip? So dancing back again, he added, 'You know they have pills for that, right? For guys who can't get it up.' Jeff charged again and this time, Jared wasn't quite fast enough to move out of the way and the Alpha's shoulder rammed hard into the stomach. Exhaling sharply, Jared lashed out himself, aiming for the man's shoulder but only catching his chest. The blow was solid though, and Jared quickly followed it up with an sharp upper cut to the man's cheek, splitting the skin open and sending a thin trickle of blood down Jeff's face. First blood, Jared smiled grimly. Jeff raised a hand to his cheek, harshly wiping the blood away before meeting Jared's eyes with a low growl. And that was when the fight really began. Hard, fast blows were landed on both sides, blood splattered evenly across their shirts and knuckles, but, in the end, Jeff was just too good, too fast, too able to read Jared's moves before he even made them, and Jared simply couldn't get close enough to use Jensen's advice. And he was...he was losing. Tired and aching and feeling like his whole body was just one huge, throbbing bruise, he knew he wasn't going to be able to keep this up much longer. And he was right - two more sharp punches to his gut, and suddenly there was an arm around his neck and another wrenching his elbow up his back. Oh shit. Jeff's arm tightened around Jared's windpipe, leaving Jared gasping for breath and his vision dotted with stars. He could vaguely hear someone yelling - Jensen maybe? - but he couldn't make out what was being said. His eyes fluttered closed, lungs screaming for air, thoughts slow and fuzzy and slipping away from him like sand through his fingers. 'You know that little show you two put on earlier,' Jeff breathed then, his voice a harsh hiss of malice and hate, 'my god, am I going to make him pay for that.' Jared's eyes snapped open - a sharp, implacable no echoing inside his head - and he barely even registered his leg coming up and slamming back into Jeff's left knee. The man gave a surprised yell as his knee gave way under Jared's boot and his arm fell away from Jared's throat. Hauling in a huge, burning breath, Jared turned and brought his elbow down hard into Jeff's weak shoulder, eliciting another pain filled cry from the Alpha. From then, it was easy; he rained down blow after now, repaying the bastard for every cut, for every bruise, for every single blemish he'd left on Jensen's skin until Jeff was a mewling mess on the ground, begging desperately for Jared to stop. But Jared didn't want to. Filth like Jeff didn't deserve to live, and Jared wasn't about to let him go off and terrorise another Omega. Eyes narrow, smile grim and darkly triumphant, he raised his foot, ready to crush the loathsome man's neck. But just before he could deal the killing blow, he felt arms wrap around his waist and pull him away. 'Don't,' Jensen whispered in his ear. 'Don't kill him, Jay.' 'Why?' Jared gritted out, red tinged gaze still fixed on the man laying before him. 'Because that's not you, and...and it'll change you,' Jensen said, righting his hold on Jared's waist and resting his head between Jared's shoulder blades. 'You won, I'm yours. It's over.' It wasn't over though. Jeff would just do this again, in some other town, in some other state, if Jared let him live. Once a rapist, always a rapist. But Jensen was right about one thing - Jared knew he wouldn't be the same if he did this. The anger was already seeping away, and as he stared down at Jeff, he was beginning to feel less triumphant and more sick to his stomach. Yes, Jensen was right, so he simply nodded and turned around so he could wrap his arms around Jensen and bury his nose in the other boy's hair. He was vaguely aware of the whistle blowing and the judge announcing him the victor, but he allowed himself a few more moments of just breathing in Jensen's scent. Allowed himself to just bask in the fact that Jensen was his again and that their future was back on track. Finally, though, he raised his head so he could look the judge in the eye as he said in a firm, steady voice, 'I don't want to kill him, but I'm not going to let him do this to anyone else. I want him to be transformed into an Omega.' There were scattered gasps and shocked murmurings from the small crowd that had gathered to watch the fight - a turned Omega ranked even lower in society than born Omegas, shunned and reviled by Alphas, Betas and Omegas alike - but Jared ignored them. 'That way he won't ever have power over another human being again.' He turned to look at Jeff one last time then, and the shattered, horrified look he saw on the man's face was finally enough to quench his thirst for revenge. It was over. It was done. And with a final nod to himself, he took Jensen by the hand and led him away. **** ***** Chapter Ten. ***** Chapter_Ten.   Jensen was silent on the short walk back to his parents' house, his arm a loose band around Jared's waist, supporting him. Jared had tried to get him to talk a couple of times along the way, but the clipped answers he'd gotten in response to his efforts had left him with more questions than answers so he'd eventually given up. Besides, now the adrenaline had left his system, he was really starting to hurt and the idea of walking and holding a conversation seemed like way too much effort. When they finally let themselves in the Ackles' front door, they were met by a quiet gasp from Jensen's mom as she rushed towards them, but her shocked 'Jensen!' went completely ignored as Jensen guided Jared towards the stairs. At any other time, Jared would've stayed behind for a moment to explain, to let her know that everything was okay, but Jensen was radiating tension beneath his arm and he knew that the conversation they needed to have was far more important right then. So, leaning a little more heavily on Jensen as they mounted the stairs, he let his best friend help him up to his bedroom. The room looked just the same as it had all those months ago, when Jared had spent as much time in here as he had his own bedroom, and it felt good to be back here again. Felt right to see Jensen surrounded by all his own things, almost like something slotting back into place after having been knocked loose, and a small smile slipped onto Jared's lips as they stumbled inside. It felt like coming home. And then his eyes fell onto the bed - onto its soft mattress and downy pillows that were just calling to every one of his weary, aching muscles - and he swayed towards it. But, unfortunately, before Jared could get close enough to flop down onto it, Jensen tightened the grip he had around his waist and guided him towards the bathroom instead. Staring wistfully back over his shoulder, Jared couldn't deny the stab of disappointment he felt as the bed and its promise of fluffy, cozy goodness disappeared from view. Damn it. The toilet seat Jensen ended up placing him on was decidedly less comfy than the bed would've been, and he shifted awkwardly on the hard porcelain. He was just about to bitch about it, and to hopefully get Jensen to take him back into the bedroom, when Jensen dropped to his knees in front of him and gave Jared the first clear view of the other boy's face he'd had since the fight ended. The sight had him snapping his mouth closed so fast, he almost bit off his tongue. Jared had never seen Jensen look so devastated - all that tension riding Jensen's body suddenly made horrifying sense - not even when he'd announced his intention to fight Jeff back at the house. He'd never seen him look so devastated, nor so guilty, and the thought of Jensen carrying all that around with him made Jared's heart ache deep inside his chest. 'Jen, come on, it's not as bad as...' he started, only to cut off in a pained hiss when Jensen reached forward to gently turn his face to the side. Jensen let go of him instantly, balling his hands into fists and shooting back to his feet, his jaw clenching and the guilt in his eyes increasing tenfold. He looked close to tears now, about a second away from breaking down completely, and Jared couldn't stand it any longer. So despite the pain, he reached out, grabbed Jensen by waist and pulled him down into his lap. 'No!' Jensen gasped, pushing at from Jared's chest and trying to stand back up, but Jared just tightened his arms around his waist and held him in place. 'You're hurt, Jared...god, you're hurt sobadly.' His voice broke on the last word, and the tears he'd been trying so hard to hold in finally spilled over. 'Oh god, Jared, I'm so sorry,' he whispered, ghosting his fingers over Jared's bruised cheeks, 'I'm so sorry, this is all my fau-' And Jared pulled him down into a kiss. Simply because he couldn't bear to listen to Jensen blame himself a moment longer - that was all Jensen had been doing for weeks and it needed to stop. Right now. The kiss was over before Jensen had the chance to kiss him back, but that was okay; all Jared had really wanted was to stop Jensen saying such awful things about himself. For him to understand that Jared didn't blame him for anything. 'It was my choice, and I'd do it again,' he said, reaching up and cupping Jensen's face in his hands. 'I'd do it again every day for the rest of my life if that was what it took to be with you.' 'But your face-' 'Hurts like hell, but it was worth it,' Jared interrupted, taking Jensen's hand and pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. 'Besides, you've bled enough times for me over the last couple of months...'bout time I returned the favour, right?' Jensen's cheeks coloured a little at that - they still hadn't really talked about it - and he dropped his gaze to his lap. And that hurt more than all of Jared's injuries combined - Jensen hiding from him; Jensen being ashamed of what had happened to him, as if any of it was his fault. Leaning forward, Jared nudged his nose against Jensen's: a familiar, tender gesture from their past that he hoped would bring Jensen back to him. 'Hey, no, don't you do that. I'm proud of you, okay?' Jensen's head gave a jerky shake but he didn't pull away. 'I'm proud of you,' Jared said again. 'Even though I can't stand that that happened to you, I'm so fucking proud that you survived it.' Jensen was silent for a long, torturous moment, and then his whole body just seemed to sag against Jared's. Defeat and misery clung to him, a crushing, suffocating weight draped cruelly across his shoulders that he couldn't shake off, and his voice was thick when he said, 'I should've stopped him though, and then none of this would've happened. That night...I was so stupid. Why did I trust him? It was so fucking stupid. And then...I didn't...I didn't even fight...I was so goddamn weak...' The harsh bite of that last word sent a shiver through Jared and he couldn't help drawing Jensen into a hug. He hated that Jensen had probably been thinking like this for months...hated the vicious, self-flagellating edge those thoughts had clearly taken. 'You weren't weak, Jensen, and you weren't stupid. You trusted a cop, and Jeff...' he took a deep breath to keep the anger he felt towards the bastard from creeping into his voice, 'he took advantage of that trust. The only person at fault here is him, and he's going to pay for that for the rest of his life.' Jensen didn't reply to that, not in words anyway, but he did eventually give a slight nod against Jared's shoulder, and it made Jared's heart skip a beat. He'd take whatever little victories he could get right now, even if he knew this particular battle was far from over. It was a start, though, and more than enough for tonight. He was completely exhausted, and if the dark circles shadowing Jensen's eyes were anything to go by, Jensen wasn't much better off. 'Come on,' he said, giving Jensen's side a light tap, 'let's go to bed.' 'But I still need to clean you up,' Jensen said quietly as he climbed carefully off Jared's lap. 'Let me just...' He reached for a cotton wool pad from the sink, but Jared caught his wrist. He didn't want Jensen cleaning him up, not when Jensen blamed himself for his injuries; he wasn't going to let Jensen punish himself any more for this than he already was. 'Don't worry about it, okay?' Jensen frowned and his hand flexed uselessly in Jared's grasp. 'But I-' 'I'm just gonna wash my face and then I'll join you, alright?' Jared said, smiling slightly to hopefully take any sting out of his words. 'Go on, I'll be in in a minute.' Jensen stared at him for a long moment, indecision written all over his face as he chewed nervously on his bottom lip, and then nodded in defeat and wandered back into the other room. Jared waited until he heard the rustle of sheets that signalled Jensen getting into bed before he stood up himself and moved to stand in front of the mirror. Yikes. His face was a mess. Swollen and bruised and covered in blood, but he was pretty sure it was all superficial. Nothing hurt enough to be broken, or fractured, he didn't think, so he didn't waste any time twisting on the faucet and splashing a few handfuls of water on his face. When he looked up this time, his face did look a little better clean of all the blood. Anyway, it would have to do, because if he didn't get into bed soon, he was going to pass out right there on the bathroom floor. So quickly switching off the faucet and then the light, he made his way into the bedroom, where he found Jensen lying in bed, curled up on his side with his bare back turned on display. Jared's breath caught at the sight of it, his hands curling into fists at his sides as he laid eyes on the damage Jeff had wrought on Jensen's back for the first time - on the cruel crisis cross of fresh wounds, overlaying what looked like a hundred faded scars. In fact, it had him very seriously considering the idea of going down to the courthouse and telling them that he'd changed his mind - that he'd actually very much like to snap the bastard's neck after all. His increasingly vengeful and bloodthirsty thoughts were interrupted, however, by Jensen glancing over his shoulder, eyes half-closed and heavy with sleep, and asking, 'Jay, what's wrong?' And Jared realised right then that he was being an idiot. By thinking like that, he was bringing Jeff into their bedroom, bringing the man back into their lives, when he should've been completely and utterly focused on Jensen. And only Jensen. Such a fucking idiot, he thought, shaking his head at himself as he moved closer to the bed. But luckily Jensen didn't need to know the destructive route his thoughts had taken; he just hoped the other boy didn't hear the waver in his voice when he croaked out, 'Nothing's wrong, baby,' as he ditched his shirt and climbed under the covers. It wasn't until he wrapped his arm around Jensen to pull him close that he noticed, with no small amount of surprise, that it wasn't only Jensen's back that was bare. Which was kind of strange because they'd never really done this before; Jensen had always been far too shy to strip down like in front of him unless they were being intimate. And even then, Jensen would usually cover back up once they were done. 'Hey, why are you...' he began, but before he could get the question all the way out, his eyes caught on a deep lash mark curling over Jensen's shoulder and his words shrivelled up on his tongue as an insidious little voice in his head whispered the answer to him. Habit. A habit that Jensen was clearly too exhausted to even begin think past right now. He'd stripped down because that was what he'd been doing every night for the past two months, no doubt with the threat of a beating looming over him if he didn't. And that kind of thing, the kind of fear, didn't just disappear...it left a mark. Maybe not a mark that anyone could see, not like the scars left by Jeff's belt, but a mark that went far deeper - a mark that was branded on Jensen's very soul. Jared's eyes burned at the thought of it, and he quickly leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to Jensen's shoulder, just next to the barely healed gash. Then he waited with bated breath for Jensen to ask him to finish his question - what was he going to say? He couldn't ask that now, could he? Knowing what memories it would bring up - but the words never came, and when he looked over, he saw that Jensen had already fallen asleep. Thank God. Because that was one can of worms Jared did not feel up to opening tonight. So instead, he just pulled Jensen closer, making sure to leave a slight gap between his chest and Jensen's ravaged back, and entwined their legs together. God, he'd missed this. Having Jensen in his arms, having the other boy's scent all around him, and, despite everything, he felt a small smile slip onto his face as his eyes fell closed and he joined Jensen in sleep.   **** Jared gasped, his eyes snapping open, as an elbow was driven into his stomach. Barely awake, he was only just quick enough to avoid the heel that came flying at his calf a moment later. 'Jen?' he hissed in the dark, 'what the heck are you doing?' No answer...so Jared quickly rolled onto his side and switched on the bedside lamp. His mouth instantly went dry when he looked over at Jensen - Jensen who was tossing and turning next to him, his body covered in sweat and his face screwed up into a pained frown. Jensen who was clearly caught in the throes of a nightmare that was tearing him apart from the inside out. God-fucking-damn it...was this ever going to be over? Wiping a weary hand down his face, Jared reached over and gently shook Jensen by the shoulder. 'Jen, baby, wake up.' Jensen's eyes sprang open at the touch, staring blankly up at Jared as he grabbed hold of Jared's wrist. 'You have to stop him; he's killing him. He's...he's killing him and I can't stop it, please help...please help him...please...' Jared swallowed painfully, his heart breaking just that little bit more, and pulled his hand out of Jensen's grasp so he could link their fingers together instead. 'I'm right here, baby, wake up, okay?' he said, squeezing gently. 'Come back to me, Jen.' It took a few moments, but eventually, awareness began creeping slowly into Jensen's eyes, then suddenly he was turning to Jared and all but launching himself into his arms. 'You're okay,' Jensen murmured against his skin, burying his face in Jared's neck, 'you're here and you're okay and...God, I dreamed he...and it was so real...' 'Shhh,' Jared soothed, running his hands gently down Jensen's back, mindful of the wounds there. 'Everything's okay.' Jensen's breath hitched and Jared felt wetness against his skin; felt the tears Jensen was trying to hide away from him, but he didn't have the heart to call him out on it. So, instead, he just kept stroking his fingers up and down Jensen's spine...kept whispering the same reassurances into his hair - it's going to be alright, baby; everything's fine now; it's all over, I promise - and gently rocking him until he finally felt Jensen go lax in his arms again. Then, with the utmost care, he moved Jensen back onto the mattress, and he was just leaning over to turn the light off again when there was a knock on the door. 'Come in,' he said quietly, only remembering at the last moment that he and Jensen were breaking their parents' number one rule. But there wasn't much he could do about it now, apart from pull the sheets up over Jensen's naked body and hope whoever was on the other side of that door would understand just how much Jensen needed this right now. It turned out to be Mrs Ackles who slipped inside the room, but surprisingly, when she spoke, it wasn't their sleep arrangements that she seemed all that concerned about. Instead, she simply asked, 'Is he alright?' Jared licked his lips, unsure how to answer that question. He didn't want to hurt her, but he didn't want to lie to her either, so in the end he just settled on, 'He will be.' 'Was he...did Jeff do something to him?' Her gaze drifted over to Jensen then, her eyes turning soft and sad as she looked down at him, and suddenly Jared wanted to tell her everything that had happened, if only because it would mean that someone could help him with this. Help him with Jensen. But he knew it wasn't his secret to tell, and breaking Jensen's trust on this was something he just wasn't willing to do. 'Jensen...he's back with me now. Jeff won't be coming near him again,' he replied, leaning across to pull the sheet up a little higher. Mrs Ackles pursed her lips, mouth thinning in a grim line, and Jared could tell she wanted to ask more about it, but she didn't. No, she swallowed her questions back for later, for a time when Jensen might be ready to answer them, and simply said, 'I'm glad. He...he always did love you so very much...' And with that, she walked back over to the door and pulled it open, but before she walked through it, she added a quiet, 'We didn't know, Jared; I swear we didn't.' And Jared wholeheartedly believed that. He knew how much the Ackles loved their son, even if his dad wasn't always the best at showing it. Neither of them would ever have stood by and let Jeff carry on like that had they been aware of the abuse. 'I know,' he said in an equally soft voice. 'I didn't either until today. But I...I've fixed it now and it's all going to be alright.' Mrs Ackles' expression brightened slightly at his words and she nodded. 'Yes...yes, I think it is. Thank you, Jared, for saving him. And for loving him so much.' Jared flushed a little at the unwarranted praise - how could henot love Jensen, after all? - and was about to wave it off when he realised Mrs Ackles had already left the room. With a tired sigh - longest day of his damn life - Jared switched off the light again and lay back down, smiling slightly when Jensen immediately snuggled back into his arms. Yes, he was going to make everything alright again. No matter how many nightmares plagued Jensen's sleep, no matter how long it took for the scars on Jensen's back to fade, Jared would be there for him through it all. Ready to catch him whenever he stumbled, and waiting to pull him out the other side. **** ***** Chapter 11 ***** Chapter Notes A/N: Ngl, this chapter totally kicked my butt as well. Hell, I think it might actually have won this round coz I'm still not sure if I like it, but...I've kept you guys waiting long enough dithering over it so...it is what it is. Sorry about the wait. xx Chapter_Eleven.   Best. Birthday. Ever. Not only had Jared finally turned eighteen, he'd also gotten a car - a goddamn car - from his parents, a sizeable check from his grandparents, and had his mom whip him up what had to be the tastiest birthday cake ever created. And on top of all that - and most importantly - Jared felt like he and Jensen were slowly finding their footing again. Jensen had been...well, nothing short of amazing today. Face alight as Jared had opened his gifts; laugh bright and carefree as Jared had scarfed down his fifth serving of cake. As if the last few months had never even happened. Sure, Jared knew that deep down Jensen wasn't anywhere close to whole yet, but he also knew that Jensen was just as eager as he was to put all this behind them and get on with their lives. Which was how they found themselves naked, and making out hard and heavy, on Jared's bed twenty minutes after Jared had blown out his candles. Just like they'd always planned - taking this last step, making this final commitment to one another, on Jared's eighteen birthday - and Jared was so ready to be mated to the only person he'd ever wanted to spend the rest of his life with. 'I love you so much,' he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on Jensen's lips before pulling back just enough so he could rest his forehead against Jensen's. Closing his eyes, he breathed in Jensen's pure, unclaimed scent, happy in knowledge that this would be the last night it would be that way. God, they'd waited so long for this - freaking years - and Jared's heart gave a painful little tug at the thought of just how close he'd come to losing it all. Never again. Nothing would ever come between them again. Eyes still closed, he captured Jensen's lips again, a little more desperately this time, love and fear and want giving the kiss an almost frantic edge. This was the most they'd touched since he'd gotten Jensen back, the furthest they'd gone since before Jensen had been taken from him, and he couldn't help but feel a little drunk with it. Running his hands over all that smooth, pale skin, pressing his lips to that plush, red mouth; it was like...like catching a glimpse of heaven right here on earth. His hands were shaking by the time he finally slipped them underneath Jensen's body, seeking out the tight, wet heat he knew he'd find there. Yes, baby...yeshe thought, as he delved his fingers between Jensen's cheeks and stroked over his warm, dripping hole. Jensen jerked slightly at the touch, and Jared grinned into the kiss - Jensen had always been such a slut for his fingers. The first time they'd done this, back when they were just fumbling kids not really sure what the sparking heat between them meant, Jensen had come before Jared had even gotten his finger all the way in. Smirking a little at the memory, Jared went to press a finger inside, but just as he was about to slip the tip into him, Jensen pulled away from the kiss with a breathless, 'Jared, wait...wait...I...can I get on my front?' Jared's eyes snapped open and frowned down at his boyfriend. That was...unexpected. Whenever they'd fooled around before, Jensen had always liked to do it face to face, had always begged Jared to kiss him while Jared fingered him open, and Jared kind of preferred it that way too. Seeing Jensen fall apart under him, watching his eyes flutter closed and his lips fall open on desperate, little pants, was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. But Jared wasn't about to question it; if that was how Jensen wanted to do this, then that was how they'd do it. 'Okay, let me ju-' But before he'd even finished speaking, or even shifted off Jensen fully, Jensen was flipping onto his front...almost elbowing Jared in the stomach in the process. Jared's frown deepened as he stared down at Jensen in confusion. Huh. Maybe Jensen was nervous; heck, he'd been incredibly shy the first time they'd ventured past second base, and it had taken damn near forever for him to admit how much he liked having Jared's fingers inside him. And this was a pretty huge deal, after all - this would bind them together for the rest of their lives. Jared got it; he felt the importance of this moment too, and there were definitely more than a few butterflies batting around in his own stomach. So he reached out, intending to stroke a soothing hand down Jensen's side, only to freeze the second his hand touched Jensen's skin. 'Baby?' he said. 'Baby, you're shaking. Jen, what's wrong?' Climbing to his knees, he gripped Jensen's shoulder and rolled him onto his back. Jensen's eyes were clenched tightly shut and his hands were balled into fists against his chest. 'Baby?' he breathed again, less of a question this time and more a sigh of horror. 'Just...can you just do it...just get...just get it over with,' Jensen stammered. His voice was barely louder than Jared's had been, but the words hit Jared like a freight train all the same. 'Just get it over with?' he repeated dully, scarcely able to hear his own voice over the deafening pounding in his ears. Was Jensen saying he...did he not want this? Oh god. Jared scrambled away from Jensen instantly, his stomach lurching so violently that for a moment he was afraid he might actually throw up. When his stomach finally settled, enough for him to talk anyway, he looked over at Jensen desperately and said, 'God, Jen, I'm so sor-' 'I...I don't think I can do this...' Jared's heart squeezed in his chest. No, please, god, no. He couldn't lose Jensen again... 'You mean...you mean us?' Jared asked, the words coming out more than a little choked up as he forced them past the lump in his throat. Jensen's eyes flew open at that, his gaze frantically seeking out Jared. 'What? No. Not us. I love you. I love you so much...I just,' tears filled his eyes and he turned his gaze towards the ceiling. 'It hurt so much, Jay; I don't...I don't think I can go through that again.' Relief washed over Jared then - thank you, god, thank you - and he had to take a few moments to get his heart to beat right again. Jensen wasn't leaving him. He wasn't saying no to them. He was just sayi- Oh. Jared's relief quickly soured once he realised what Jensen was actually saying, and his own eyes stung as he stared down at Jensen. Jensen had never really spoken about those months with Jeff, had never told Jared exactly what Jeff had done to him, but Jared wasn't stupid. He'd seen the blood and the marks; had seen the way Jensen would flinch away from him sometimes if Jared took him by surprise. No, it didn't take a genius to figure out that the first time Jeff had raped Jensen hadn't been the last. Hearing it from Jensen's own lips, though, drenched in the fear and pain and despair that haunted Jensen's memories, was almost too much to bear. Slowly, he drifted back over to Jensen, making sure his body wasn't touching Jensen's as he lay down beside him, and the wet, devastated eyes Jensen turned on him broke his heart just that little bit more. God, how was he ever going to make Jensen understand that it didn't have to be that way, when the only real sex Jensen had experienced had been at the hands of that monster? Reaching out, incredibly slowly still so Jensen could pull away if he wanted to, he cupped Jensen's cheek. Something inside him loosened a little when Jensen leaned into the touch instead of pulling away. 'It...it shouldn't have been like that; you get that right, Jen?' Jensen nodded, but Jared could tell his mate didn't believe it so he pushed on, 'It hurt because you didn't want it. He took something your body, something you, didn't want to give, and he...he didn't bother to make sure you were ready.' His words turned harsh at the end, clipped and razor sharp, and he had to take a deep breath to calm himself down again. He needed to keep a level head for this...he needed to stay on track for Jensen. One more deep breath and he was ready to continue. 'It wouldn't be like that for us. You remember before? You liked what we did then, right?' When Jensen didn't answer immediately, Jared's heart stuttered in his chest - fear that he'd been as bad as Jeff all these years gripping him like a ice cold fist - but then Jensen nodded again and Jared sagged against the mattress, relief washing over him once more. Licking his suddenly dry lips - Christ, this was probably the hardest conversation he'd ever had, so full of pot holes and ways for him to fuck up, and so very, very important - Jared continued, 'And I'd never do anything to hurt you, not ever.' He'd die before he ever hurt Jensen. 'If you wanted to stop, we'd stop, and if you decided it's not something you want, then that would be fine too.' Jensen was still staring at the ceiling, still avoiding Jared's gaze, and Jared had to bite his tongue to keep from begging him to not hide from him. 'So...we'll just never have sex then? And you're okay with that?' 'Yes,' Jared answered honestly. While he would love to share this with Jensen, would love to able to show his mate just how much he loved him, he wasn't ever going to force him. This was meant to be something they both enjoyed, not something Jensen endured for Jared's sake. The very idea of doing anything to Jensen that Jensen might not want turned Jared's stomach even more than the thought of losing Jensen altogether. 'And what about kids, huh?' Jensen asked, his voice suddenly taking on a bitter edge that Jared instinctively knew wasn't aimed at him. That wasn't aimed at anyone but Jensen himself. 'You happy never having kids?' Jared shrugged; there were plenty of options when it came to children, if they decided they wanted a family. 'We can adopt or maybe get a surro-' 'No!' Jensen snapped, and Jared couldn't help but jump in surprise, taken aback by the sudden anger blazing in Jensen's eyes when they flicked towards him. He frowned, not understanding what he'd said to make Jensen so mad. 'No, I'm not going to ruin your life just because I fucked up mine. No...no...this isn't...I'm not going to do that to you.' And then he was scrambling to his knees and moving towards the edge of the bed. Oh, hell, no. Lightning fast, Jared reached out and pulled Jensen backwards. Jensen fought him tooth and nail, desperately trying to yank his arm out of Jared's grip, and at any other time, Jared would've let go. But not now. Not when it was so important that he get through to Jensen. So instead of letting him go, Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen from behind and pressed their cheeks together. 'The only thing that would ruin my life would be losing you.' Jensen sagged a little in his arms at that. 'I don't need sex, Jensen; I just need you.' Jensen was silent for a long moment, his breathing hard and ragged, and when he spoke again his voice was wet, just as Jared had expected it to be, 'I...I'm so sorry, Jared...I...God, I'm so, so sorry...' 'Shhh,' Jared whispered, his heart breaking all over again for his poor, broken mate. 'Don't be sorry, Jen, god please don't ever say that again to me. None of this is your fault-' 'But I-' 'None of this is your fault,' he said again, more firmly, as he turned to press a kiss to Jensen's temple. 'But if we don't, then we'll never be mates,' Jensen said quietly, finally settling back into Jared's embrace. 'We're already mates, Jen. I don't care what anyone else thinks; you're my mate...you've alwaysbeen my mate. We don't need to have sex for me to know that,' he tightened his hold, 'or for it to be true.' He felt Jensen shudder against him, knowing that if he looked down, he'd see fresh tears on his cheeks. 'I'd never make you do something you don't want to do.' Not like Jeff; I'm not like Jeff. 'I did want it, though...before,' Jensen said, voice barely above a whisper now. 'I just wish...God, I just wish none of this had happened.' Jared closed his eyes for a moment. His wished that too. More than anything. 'I know, Jen, I know,' he said, stroking his thumb soothingly across the skin of Jensen's belly. 'But, hey, like I said, maybe we could give it a try and if it's too much for you, we can stop?' Jensen's head snapped to the side, his eyes wide and panicked as he looked at Jared over his shoulder. 'W...what? Now?' Jared shook his head immediately. Now was most definitely not the time to try something as delicate as this, given that Jensen was already so on edge he was damn near vibrating against Jared. 'No, not tonight. Tonight, we're just gonna go to sleep, okay?' he said, scooting down the bed and tucking Jensen firmly against his side. 'But...it's your birthday?' Jensen said, brow creasing as he stared up at Jared. 'So?' Jensen pursed his lips for a moment, frown deepening and eyes dropping to Jared's chest. 'So...I guess...we could...we could go back to what we were doing before...maybe?' Jared's heart clenched painfully in his chest at the unspoken words lurking beneath what Jensen had actually said - because I don't want to let you down. Because I don't want to disappoint you - but he forced a smile onto his face as he shook his head again. 'You know, I'm kind of tired anyway and I think I might've eaten a little too much cake earlier,' he joked, patting his stomach a couple of times for good measure. Jensen let out a laugh at that, relief washing his frown away, and Jared felt his own smile turn more genuine as he realised he'd made the right call. 'A little too much? Dude, I thought you were gonna bite my finger off when I went to grab a slice.' Jared took hold of one of Jensen's hands then and pretended to examine his fingers. 'Nah, way too pretty to eat,' he said, pressing a kiss to the tip of Jensen's forefinger. Jensen's breath hitched at the contact, and he shook his head fondly. 'You're crazy,' he breathed, the words teasing but his tone anything but. A whole world of emotion - love, gratitude, awe and a thousand other things Jared could barely put a name to - held in just those two little words. 'Crazy for you,' Jared replied, shooting Jensen a wink and hopefully steering the conversation back into safer waters. It was late and they were both way too exhausted to get into this again tonight. Jensen huffed out a laugh and buried his face in Jared's neck. 'Thanks, Jay...for understanding.' 'Never need to thank me for looking out for you, Jen. It's what mates do for each other,' Jared replied, pulling Jensen closer so he could rest his chin on top of Jensen's head. 'I'll always be here for you, no matter what.' When Jensen didn't do anything to respond except snuggle closer, Jared reached out an arm to flick off the light before settling back against his pillow and closing his eyes. 'Me too.' Jared blinked his eyes back open at the whispered words, heart skipping a beat, and looked down at Jensen in the darkness. Jensen's eyes were still closed, but there was a smile lingering on his mate's lips that told Jared he hadn't imagined Jensen's words. He felt an answering smile spread across his own face at the sight, and he couldn't resist dropping a soft kiss on the top of Jensen's head, because he knew, right then and there, that they were going to be alright. As long as they were in this together, as long as he had Jensen's back and Jensen had his, they could get through anything life decided to throw at them. Absolutely anything. **** ***** Chapter Twelve. ***** Chapter Notes Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you all had a great time over the holidays. :-) Sorry this has taken so long; my brain just wouldn't co-operate, lol. Hopefully, it's worth the ridiculously long wait. Chapter_Twelve. As soon as Jared entered their apartment, he dropped his backpack by the door so he could follow the delicious scent coming from the kitchen. Unsurprisingly, he found Jensen standing in front of the stove, spoon in one hand, a jar of herbs in the other. Coming up behind his mate, Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen's waist and pressed a kiss to the side of his neck. 'God, Jen, this smells amazing.' Jensen shrugged, mumbling a quiet, 'It's just some pasta,' as he ducked his head away slightly...but not before Jared caught the pleased blush that had quickly spread across his Omega's cheeks at the compliment. 'Just pasta, my ass,' Jared replied with a soft smile. 'You didn't have to cook, though, it was my turn tonight.' 'I wanted to,' Jensen said, still stirring the sauce on the stove. 'I...uh...wanted tonight to be special.' Jared froze. Uh-oh. Had he forgotten something important? He ran through all their important dates in his head - Jensen's birthday; their first date; their first first kiss; their first...everything else. Nope, none of those were today. Maybe it had something to do with Jensen's classes? But Jensen hadn't taken any important exams lately, or been given any particularly important assignments, as far as Jared was aware. He was just about to admit defeat and ask, when Jensen covered the hand Jared had on his stomach with his own. 'Relax,' he said, squeezing Jared's hand gently, 'you didn't forget anything.' Jared let out a sigh of relief and waited tor Jensen to fill him in. When Jensen didn't, he frowned and tightened his arms around Jensen's waist. 'Everything okay, Jen?' Jensen nodded immediately, but was quiet for a few more minutes before saying, 'I want us to try again tonight, if...if you want to?' 'Try?' 'Try again.' Jared's frown deepened; he really had no idea what Jensen was talking about. Not until he caught a glimpse of Jensen's flushed cheeks. Oh...try. 'You want us to try making love again?' he asked, a slight smile gracing his lips in the face of Jensen's shyness. 'Yes,' Jensen replied, still not looking up at Jared, as if the pasta sauce in front of him suddenly held all the secrets of the universe. 'And...I can't promise not to freak out, or fuck this up...and I can't promise to be any good- ' 'Hey, hey, hey,' Jared interrupted, finally taking Jensen's hand off the spoon and turning him in his arms, 'none of that, alright?' Reaching out, he traced his thumb across Jensen's cheekbone. 'Even if you do need to stop, you won't have 'fucked anything up', okay? And I promise you that everything we do together is amazing, because you're amazing.' Jensen's flush deepened, and he dropped his eyes as he gave a little shake of his head. Jared instantly caught his chin, though, and brought his head back up so he could look Jensen in the eyes as he said, 'You are. You're perfect.' He followed the words up with a quick, chaste kiss before pulling back and looking down at Jensen again. 'But I need to know you're sure about this. And that you're not doing it because you think I need it or...or because you think you owe it to me or something. Because you don't; you've given me everything I'll ever need, alright? So if we're doing this, it's because you want to. So, Jen, do you really want to?' Jensen stared up at him and nodded. 'Yeah, I really do, Jay. I just...I just want to try.' Warmth spread through Jared's chest at the words - at Jensen's courage; at his trust in Jared - and he felt a smile curl his lips. 'Okay then, we'll give it a try tonight after dinner.' He leaned down to press another kiss to Jensen's lips before pulling back and asking, 'Do you need help with anything?' Jensen licked his lips as he shook his head and Jared had to restrain himself from diving in for another taste; if he did that, he'd end up dragging Jensen to the bedroom right now, and the dinner Jensen had clearly worked so hard on for the last few hours would be ruined. He couldn't deny the excitement stirring in his belly, though, as he allowed Jensen to turn back to the stove. Sure, he hadn't been lying when he'd said that he'd be happy never taking that final step - he would always be happy as long as Jensen was with him - but he knew deep down that he'd always miss it. That he'd always wonder if what people said was true: that their bond would be that much stronger, that much more intimate and all encompassing, once they'd actually mated. Of course, none of that touched on how it would feel to lose himself in Jensen's body. To have his mate spread out beneath him, warm and tight around him, gasping and begging for more. Just the thought of it had him hardening in his pants, so he quickly stepped away before Jensen felt it against his ass, busying himself with opening the bottle of wine on the table and pouring them a couple of glasses. He glanced over at Jensen then, just as his mate looked up and smiled at him, so beautiful and radiant and everything Jared had ever wanted, and Jared almost lost his grip on the wine bottle as he went to place it back on the table. God, how could Jensen ever have thought that Jared could be happy with anyone but him? 'Okay, I think we're good,' Jensen said, giving the sauce one last stir before turning the stove off and taking the pot of pasta over to the sink to drain it. Two full bowls later, along with two brimming glasses of wine, they were sitting down at their small dining room table together. Dinner was a quiet affair, nervous tension hanging between them as they ate, and Jared was ashamed to admit that he barely tasted the food. Too focused on the way Jensen's lips curled around his fork; too distracted by the fall of Jensen's lashes against his flushed cheeks. He truly was the most beautiful sight Jared had ever seen. Jensen might not believe it, but that didn't make it any less true. He was temptation personified, and it was only the fact that Jensen had clearly spent hours making this dinner that kept Jared from just grabbing Jensen and carrying him to their bedroom to ravage him. But as soon as the last bite of pasta disappeared into Jensen's mouth, Jared pushed his own plate away and got to his feet. Reaching for Jensen's hand, he said, 'Come on,' before pulling him up too and leading him through the apartment to their bedroom. Once inside, he gave into the desire that had been thrumming through his veins for what felt like forever and pressed Jensen back against the door as he leaned down to kiss him. Jensen melted into it, hands coming up around Jared's neck, and parted his lips so Jared could deepen the kiss. Jared could smell the arousal coming off Jensen in waves, felt the evidence of it when he reached down to cup Jensen's ass through his now slick-wet pants, and suddenly he needed more. He needed to feel Jensen's skin against his, needed to taste every inch of him, so he finally broke the kiss. Jensen let out of small noise of disappointment as he pulled away, lips chasing Jared's for a moment, and Jared quickly pressed another kiss to his lips before saying, 'Just need to get us undressed, baby. Wanna see all of you.' And with that, he stepped back so he could pull his t-shirt over his head and toss it to the floor. His pants and boxers followed, leaving him naked and ready to devour his delicious little mate, and he was just about to launch himself back at Jensen, when he realised that Jensen was still fully clothed, his mate's fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. Fumbling because they were shaking too hard for him to get the buttons through the holes. Jared's heart sank, arousal dampened in the face of Jensen's obvious discomfort, and he immediately crossed the room to still Jensen's hands. 'Baby?' he asked, holding Jensen's hands in his own. 'We can stop. If you're not ready...' Just...can you just do it...just get...just get it over with. A shiver slid down Jared's spine at the memory, but he firmly pushed it away so he could focus on Jensen. 'If you're not ready, we can try this again some other-' 'No, no, I am,' Jensen said quickly. 'I just...' he trailed off into a nervous laugh. 'I'm a little nervous.' Judging by how hard Jensen was shaking against him, Jared thought 'a little nervous' was probably a bit of understatement, but he didn't call Jensen on it. 'Nothing to be nervous about, okay? It's just you and me,' he said, bringing one of Jensen's hands up to his mouth to press a kiss to his knuckles. 'I'm not going to hurt you; I'd never hurt you, I promise.' He moved his hands to Jensen's buttons then and began to flick them open, all the while keeping an eye on Jensen's face. Watching for any signs that his nervousness had tripped over into fear. Once he had all the buttons undone, Jared pushed the shirt off Jensen's shoulders and let it flutter to the floor. 'God, you're beautiful,' he breathed, running his hands over Jensen's shoulders and down his bare arms. He didn't wait for Jensen to respond - to refute his words no doubt - before moving his hands to Jensen's pants and boxers, ridding his mate of those too. Now Jared had him naked, he gently guided Jensen backwards onto the bed, spreading him out on the sheets. Then he stood back for a few moments, just drinking in the vision before him, eyes trailing down Jensen's smooth pale skin, gaze taking in the delicious bow of his legs... 'Jared, stop...' Jensen breathed, embarrassment colouring his words almost as deeply as it was colouring his cheeks. Jared let out a low chuckle - his mate was adorable - and nodded. Obeying wasn't exactly a hardship, after all; not when obeying meant he got to actually touch Jensen. Touching trumped staring any day of the week. 'Just lie back, baby,' he said, climbing onto the bed and scooting down the mattress until he was nestled between Jensen's spread legs, 'and let me take care of you.' Jensen's scent was stronger here, and Jared couldn't resist pressing his face against Jensen's skin and breathing it in. Letting the scent wash over him; letting it burn through him like wildfire. Jensen squirmed against him, probably even more embarrassed now than he had been at Jared's staring, and Jared pressed a gentle kiss of apology to the soft skin of Jensen's inner thigh. I just love you so much. He didn't voice the words though, not this time. Instead, deciding to show Jensen just how much he meant to Jared. How cherished he really was. So gently taking Jensen's thighs in his hands, he pulled his mate further down the bed until he could get a glimpse of his hole. All swollen and leaking and ready for Jared to dive in for a taste, and that was exactly what he did. He pressed his tongue against that tiny, little pucker and licked up every last bit of slick Jensen's body had produced - produced for him - before going back in for more. 'Jared,' Jensen moaned, breath hitching as he pressed his ass back against Jared's face. 'Oh god, Jared...' Jared could feel the muscles of Jensen's thighs flexing with every swipe of his tongue, knew Jensen was enjoying this as much as he was, and that only spurred him on: had him spreading Jensen's thighs even wider so he could get even deeper. So he could push his tongue past the rim of Jensen's ass and lick his way inside. 'Fuck, fuck, fuck...' Jensen panted as Jared fucked his tongue in deep, lapping up more and more of his mate's addictive taste. He wanted to make Jensen come like this, just with Jared's tongue up his ass and Jared's hands gripping his thighs. 'That's it, baby,' Jared said, pulling back just a little, 'let go. Come for me.' 'No,' Jensen groaned, even as he continued to push back against Jared's tongue, 'don't...don't want to come till you're in...inside me.' Jesus fuck... Jared had to quickly reach down and squeeze the base of his dick hard to keep from coming himself at that. God...Jensen... Once he'd finally managed to get himself back under control, Jared said, 'Don't worry about that, Jen, I promise you'll come again when I'm inside you.' He looked up at Jensen from between his mate's thighs and shot him a wink. 'This is just the warm up, sweetheart, it ain't got nothing on the main event. So you can let go, okay? Just let go...' That said, he leaned back down to nip softly at Jensen's thigh before burying his face in Jensen's ass again. And all it took was him scrapping his teeth across the rim of Jensen's hole, that little bite of pain, and Jensen arched off the bed, a cry torn from his lips, as he shot all over his chest and stomach. Jared crawled back up Jensen's body then, licking the come from Jensen's skin as he went, and claimed Jensen's mouth in a bruising kiss. 'Jared,' Jensen panted between kisses, hands coming up to grip at Jared's shoulders, fingers digging hard into Jared's skin. 'I need you, please, I want...mate me, Jared, make...make me yours.' Jared shuddered at the words. 'God, you're so fucking hot,' he growled against Jensen's already kiss swollen lips. 'So fucking hot and you don't even know it.' Reaching down, he rubbed his fingers over Jensen's dripping entrance. 'You want me in here, baby?' he teased, voice a dark rumble in the silence of the room. 'You want your Alpha in your tight, little hole?' Jensen nodded almost frantically, eyes squeezed closed, lip caught between his teeth, ass already pushing back against Jared's fingers, trying to get them inside. And, fuck, if that wasn't the prettiest thing Jared had ever seen in his entire life. Unable to hold back a moment longer, Jared pressed a finger inside his mate, relishing how easily Jensen opened up to him, how tightly he gripped him. God, Jared had missed this. He would've gone the rest of his life without it - still would if Jensen changed his mind now - but he really, really hoped that Jensen would enjoy this. Would see how different this was from what he'd had with Jeff. Bearing that in mind, Jared made sure to crook his finger a little on every pass as he worked his finger in and out of Jensen's ass, searching for that special spot that- 'Jared!' Jensen gasped, his eyes snapping open to stare up into Jared's, and Jared knew he'd found it. Jared pressed down again, a little harder this time, and Jensen keened, actually keened, his body going taut as a bow string below Jared. Slick was leaking steadily from Jensen's ass again, running down Jared's hand and onto the bedspread, and Jared quickly used it to lube up his second finger so he could slip it in beside his first. Jared went slow, watching Jensen's face for any sign of discomfort, but it seemed Jensen hadn't even felt the change. Pressing forward, Jared alternated between stroking over Jensen's prostate with his fingers and scissoring them slightly, stretching Jensen open just a little more each time. It was going great - Jensen a writhing mess beneath him, his dick hard and his ass leaking slick all over the sheets - right up until Jared began to slide his third finger inside. He felt Jensen tense up right before a look of fear flickered over his mate's face. 'It's okay,' he said, removing his fingers completely. 'It's okay, baby.' He stroked his hand up and down Jensen's thigh for a few moments, waiting for Jensen to calm down, before he asked, 'Do you need me to stop?' It would break his heart if Jensen said 'yes', because he knew how much better he could make this if Jensen would only trust him. But he understood that trust wasn't something that came easily to Jensen these days, especially not in the bedroom - too many times torn open, forced to take everything Jeff doled out to him - and even if Jared hadn't been the one to do those things to him, those memories still remained. Tainting all the times he and Jensen had been together like this before Jeff had come along and ruined everything. The fucking bastard. 'No, no, I'm alright,' Jensen said quietly, interrupting Jared's angry thoughts and bringing him back to the present: to what was actually important. 'Just...just go slow, okay?' Just don't hurt me, okay? Jared's heart clenched painfully in his chest and he quickly turned his head to press a kiss to the inside of Jensen's knee. Never, baby, never. 'So slow,' Jared agreed, sliding two fingers back inside his mate and pressing them against Jensen's prostate again. 'That feels good, right?' Jensen shuddered beneath him, a moan slipping past his lips, and Jared took that as his answer and quickly wrapped his other hand around Jensen's cock, in an effort to distract his mate as he traced his third finger around Jensen's sensitive rim. And it worked - Jensen didn't seem to notice this time when Jared slipped another finger into his wet entrance, nor when he started to move all three fingers in and out of him. Soon enough, Jensen was pushing up into Jared's fist then back down onto his hand, skin all flushed and sweat slick as he took his Alpha into his body again and again and again. Welcoming him in and gripping him so damn tight. Fuck, Jared was close to losing it just at the sight. This was everything he'd ever dreamed of and more. So much more. Pulling his fingers out and his hand off Jensen cock, he scaled his way back up Jensen's body to slam his lips down against Jensen's. Jensen opened up beneath him, letting Jared lick his way inside, and Jared couldn't help the almost feral growl that crawled up his throat as he claimed his mate's mouth. 'God, I love you,' he breathed, bringing his hands up to cradle Jensen's face. 'I love you so fucking much.' 'Jay...want you, now...please,' Jensen whispered against his lips, and Jared's breath caught at the feeling of Jensen wrapping his legs around his waist. It took every ounce of willpower Jared had right then to not just slam into his mate and finally claim him the way he so desperately wanted to. 'Are you sure you're ready, baby?' he asked, voice shaking a little under the strain of holding back. At Jensen's nod, Jared reached down between their bodies and positioned his cock at Jensen's entrance before pushing inside. Jensen made a small hurt noise then, and Jared instantly stopped, looking down at his mate with frantic eyes. Nonononono. But before he could say anything, or pull back out, Jensen shook his head and said, 'Keep going, it's okay, I'm okay.' Jared didn't move, though, not until Jensen used his legs to pull Jared inside just a little bit more. Jared gasped at the tightness around his cock - hot, wet, perfect - but his gasp was immediately swallowed up by Jensen when his mate reached up to pull his mouth down to his in a desperate kiss. 'Please, Jared, please,' Jensen begged when they broke apart, legs tightening around Jared's hips even more. 'I love you,' Jared said again, pressing a couple of chaste kisses to Jensen's lips before moving his hips forward another inch. He watched his mate intently, eyes flitting over Jensen's face looking for any sign that he needed to stop, as he slowly slid the rest of the way inside. Once there, he forced himself to stay still despite the urgent need to fuck - to claim his beautiful, beautiful mate - flowing through his veins, while he waited for Jensen to adjust to having Jared inside him. But, God, he felt amazing. His Jensen...so perfect...madefor him... 'Jared, please,' Jensen said after a few moments, 'I need you to move, please, Alpha, please...' The words tore something free inside of Jared, his Alpha side finally taking over, and he quickly pulled back and thrust back in. Jensen arched against him, mouth falling open, head slamming back against the pillow, as Jared fucked into him with long, powerful thrusts, making sure to graze over Jensen's prostate on every one. All too soon, though, Jared felt his knot growing, catching just a little on Jensen's stretched rim with every withdrawal, and he knew he wasn't going to be able to hold off much longer. When it actually happened, though, it was so sudden, it took Jared's breath away - one second he was fucking his mate, the next, they were locked together, Jared's knot swollen inside Jensen, Jensen's ass gripping him so tight as Jensen orgasmed again, and Jared coming inside his mate for the first time. And just like that, Jared felt something slot into place inside him, as if his heart had been in pieces until now and had only just come together, and a feeling of warmth, of utter contentness, washed over him. He felt complete. Opening his eyes, he looked down at Jensen and found Jensen staring up at him with wide, startled eyes. 'You felt that?' he asked, stroking a hand over Jensen's chest. Jensen nodded, catching Jared's hand and pressing it palm-down over his heart. 'I never knew it could feel like this. I would've said yes sooner, I'm sor-' 'No,' Jared interrupted, pressing the fingers of his free hand to Jensen's lips. 'It would never have been right if you hadn't been ready. This was the way it was supposed to be.' Removing his fingers, he leaned down to drop a kiss to his mate's - his mate in every sense of the word now; his mate in the eyes of the world - lips. They kissed for long, languid minutes, hands roaming across each other's skin, every touch heightened by the feeling inside his chest. Kissed right up until Jared's knot shrank enough for him to slide out of his mate. They both moaned at the loss and without even thinking about it, Jared reached down and pushed the come that had trickled out of Jensen's hole back inside. His come. His come inside his mate. His come marking Jensen as his. 'Mine,' he said, voice dropping into a growl as he blanketed his mate's body and peppered kisses down his throat. 'Yours,' Jensen nodded, baring his neck to Jared. 'Always yours.' And he was now. He really, really was. Jared could smell it as he ran his nose up Jensen's throat - Jensen's scent subtly changing to reflect his own, and he knew his own scent was doing the same. They were finally bonded the way they were always meant to have been. Closing his eyes, Jared caught Jensen's lips in one last kiss before shifting off his mate and pulling him tight against him. This was it; this was what he'd waited his whole life for. And he finally didn't have to wonder anymore. He knew now that all those people - the ones who'd talked about their own bonds in hushed, almost reverential tones - had been right. Even if what they'd described wasn't anywhere close to what he was feeling right now. But then, as he stared down at his now sleeping mate, he could kind of understand why, since, at that moment, Jared wasn't all that sure he'd be able to put it into words either. Not properly. Not with any words that would do it justice. That was okay, though; as long as Jared got to feel it, got to have Jensen by his side for the rest of his days, the words could wait. Everything could wait, as long as he had that. THE END. Thanks so much for reading, guys, and for all the kudos and comments you've left. They are very much appreciated. :-) xx Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!