Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/8229632. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Kuroshitsuji_|_Black_Butler Relationship: Sebastian_Michaelis/Ciel_Phantomhive Additional Tags: Nightmares, Spanking, BDSM, light_fluff, PTSD, Rough_Sex, First_Time, Ciel_Phantomhive_is_a_Brat Stats: Published: 2016-10-07 Updated: 2016-11-15 Chapters: 2/3 Words: 2869 ****** Black Memories ****** by BabyBat_(demonprincess7) Summary When nightmares of Ciel's past return to haunt him, Sebastian helps his young master regain control of his emotions. Notes May contain traces of romanticized PTSD but that's not what I'm going for here. See the end of the work for more notes ***** Chapter 1 ***** The nightmares were always worse around this time of year. The anniversary of the day they made their contract was approaching and with it came the memories. The memories were tinged with fear and desperation making them blurry and frantic, but Ciel remembered enough for that fear to reach through into the present. Even with Sebastian standing guard beside his bed, Ciel found it difficult to sleep. Orders came from the Queen. Another investigation was upon them, but Ciel couldn't be bothered to leave the manor. He felt almost as if he were afraid to go outside. He felt afraid of everything in fact. He was even becoming short with the other servants and sending them away whenever they came close. Sebastian was the only one allowed near him. Even Tanaka was shooed from the room when Ciel sat down to his meals. Finally he could take no more. “Help me, Sebastian.” The demon watched him from the other side of the desk. Ciel had laid his head down feeling emotionally exhausted and he didn't look up to see the butler's reaction. “Help you?” “Yes. Do something. Make it stop.” His voice was soft, pitiful even. He'd never looked more like a child to Sebastian. “You mean the nightmares.” “No. Well, yes.” Ciel sat up with a heavy sigh. “It's more than that though... I feel... I... I don't know what I feel, exactly. The memories of that day are haunting me. Please, Sebastian. Help me.” He blinked up at the demon who quickly hid his surprise at such a request. “I think I know what will help, but you will have to trust me.” “I trust no one else.” Sebastian led the way to Ciel's bed chamber and closed the door behind them. “Now, why don't you tell me everything that you remember.” “It's all so hazy,” Ciel complained. He flopped down on the end of the bed. Sebastian began removing his shoes. “They branded me... and they had these whips and paddles. Everything was constant fear and pain. Until you came.” Sebastian unbuttoned the earl's shirt. “That's right, young master. I came for you.” He slid the shirt from his shoulders. “That's why you're the only one I can trust.” Ciel sat up and blinked as though suddenly realizing something. “Why are you undressing me?” “I want to try something. I think it will help you get over your trauma.” Ciel snorted. “Trauma. I suppose that's the word for it. How is this going to help me?” “I thought you said you trusted me.” Ciel rolled his eyes. “Fine. Just tell me what we're doing.” Now completely nude, Ciel felt a bit vulnerable but with Sebastian standing there it wasn't as uncomfortable as the feeling could be. “You're going to lay on the bed and I'm going to hurt like they did before. Only this time you'll be completely in control. If you want me to stop, you'll only have to say so.” “You want to hurt me some more! How is that going to help me?” Ciel shouted in outrage. “Young master. I thought you were going to trust me.” The look Sebastian was giving him was not convincing him to trust. Ciel sighed again. “You'll stop if I say so?” Sebastian nodded. “You need only give the word.” “I suppose I'll try anything at this point.” Sebastian smiled. “Very good. Now lie down on your stomach, young master.” Ciel scrunched his nose up at being bossed around. He turned around and climbed up the bed to lay flat on his stomach. “I don't see how this is going to help,” he grumbled into the sheets. “Now, young master. We'll take it slow to begin with. You tell me if this is too much for you.” “Whatever. Just get on with it.” Ciel tried to relax and trust his butler but the vulnerable position put him on edge. Then Sebastian smacked something hard and Ciel jumped and turned to see the demon holding a wooden paddle. Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him, questioning his trust. Ciel turned away again. He closed his eyes and calmed himself. He opened his eyes when he was ready. “Do it, Sebastian.” The first strike landed across Ciel's bare bottom and knocked the wind right out of him. His eyes stared wide at the head board in front of him. The sting of the strike spread through him, but it wasn't unpleasant. Sebastian waited for him to recover and adjust his position on the bed. Then the second strike fell. It was as hard as the last one, but the stinging turned quickly to something tingly and pleasant that numbed his tormented mind. Gasps and cries of pain turned to more pleasurable sounds after the sixth harsh strike against Ciel's soft skin. His mind was focused only on sensation. The sharp pain mixed with the pleasurable tingling and warmth that spread through him. Nothing else existed. Then it stopped. Ciel let himself collapsed onto the bed. Sebastian was there in an instant gently stroking his back. “Why did you stop?” Ciel murmured into the blankets. “You could suffer a great deal of damage if I continued to strike you further. Besides, I believe we've achieved the desired effect. Wouldn't you say, my lord?” Ciel hummed happily in response. Sebastian chuckled. Carefully, he picked the boy up and placed him at the top of the bed and pulled the duvet over him. “Rest well, young master.” Sebastian turned away from the tired lord, but a small voice stopped his departure. “Sebastian?” “Yes, my lord?” “Will you stay here tonight?” “Of course, my lord.” Sebastian turned on his heel to stand beside the bed. “No. I mean here.” Ciel's hand came from beneath the blanket to pat the bed beside him. Sebastian hid a smile. “Yes, my lord.” The demon slid off his shoes and sat down on the bed beside him. He laid back on the pillow and watched as Ciel's breathing slowed and he fell asleep almost instantly. ***** Chapter 2 ***** Things were different between them in the following days. Sebastian seemed almost over protective jumping at the slightest sound of discomfort from the young earl. Ciel tried so hard to act normal that it only made it more obvious how uncomfortable he felt. He'd shown the demon too much of his own weaknesses leaving him exposed. Part of him expected Sebastian to cut him down having found the chinks in his armor, but at the same time he knew better than that. Whether or not the demon would hold it against him, Ciel felt vulnerable. However, when the nightmares came that night, it was Sebastian that held them at bay. “Sebastian!” Ciel's scream echoed through the empty halls of the manor. In an instant the demon was at his side. “I am here, my lord. No need to fear,” Sebastian said gently from the shadows beside the earl's bed. He quickly lit the oil lamp on the table to save his master from any tricks the dark might play on his fear-filled mind. “Seba-Seba-” Ciel panted. “Sebastian.” He reached a hand out for the demon, eyes staring ahead, wide with fright. Sebastian took his hand in both of his. “It's alright. You're safe, my lord. I am here.” “Yes... yes...” Slowly he caught his breath. Once he had recovered he grabbed Sebastian's hand with the one the demon held and pulled him down so he was bent at the waist. He looked into Sebastian's eyes. “Do it again. Make the nightmares go away.” “Yes, my lord.” Sebastian took off his tail coat and each of his gloves. He set it all neatly on the table. Then, he rolled up his sleeves and sat down on the bed. “Come here. Over my lap.” Ciel blinked at him not comprehending a moment, but he chose to comply. Once he was laying over Sebastian's lap he realized what a vulnerable position the demon had put him in. One where he was bent over with bottom raised and in perfect position for Sebastian to strike him. He couldn't help but feel a sudden flush of embarrassment. Particularly when Sebastian slid his nightshirt up leaving his bare bottom exposed. He wanted to protest the indecency, but it wasn't as if Sebastian hadn't seen him nude before. “Are you ready?” Ciel sighed and tried to relax in his position. “Get on with it.” Sebastian chuckled lightly. His young master looked so enticing over his lap like that. Like a bratty child awaiting a punishment. Which was half true at least. Sebastian let his hand rest on the boy's small bottom admiring his fragile human form, so vulnerable in the demon's hands. So trusting. So delicious. The demon was tempted to tease him with light swats, but he knew it would only serve to irritate the little lord, so he set in with firm smacks at a slow pace waiting for Ciel to relax and let his mind be pulled to the present and away from his dreaded memories. The sound of that first smack echoed around the room. A soft sound escaped from behind the young lord's teeth as he bit down on his plump bottom lip. That simply wouldn't do. A second harder strike drew a gasp that parted his lips letting soft cries and whimpers free as Sebastian's hand came down on his reddening ass. The demon saw it the second his need won over his pride and he finally relaxed truly allowing himself to feel it. Letting his thoughts fade until there was only this moment. Then Sebastian noticed something a bit more unexpected, though certainly not unwelcome. The little earl was aroused. His hardening cock was pressed against Sebastian's thigh and the boy kept squirming in discomfort. Sebastian watched in amusement and continued with his spanking waiting to see what the boy would do. "Sebastian," his voice was thick with arousal. "Stop!" Sebastians hand stopped instantly. Ciel pushed himself off the demon's lap. His face was red, pupils wide, lips red and wet as if he'd been biting and licking at them. "Young master?" Sebastian pretended not to notice. The boy glared at him. "Don't play coy with me. Do something about this!" Sebastian held back a smile. It occurred to him that the young master had no idea of his own what he should do with his swollen, aching cock. "Lie down, my lord." Ciel laid on his back with his head on the pillow. Sebastian moved up the bed to almost hover over him. His hand wrapped around Ciel's hard length. His palm nearly covering it in its entirety. Ciel whined squirming slightly. Sebastian traced his thumb around the head, a predatory look on his face. "Sebastian," Ciel gasped. He bucked his hips up into the demon's hand. Sebastian couldn't contain his grin this time. "Don't sit there smirking at me!" Ciel demanded. "Touch me!" "Oh, young master," Sebastian purred. "If I do nothing else tonight... I will touch you.” A small bead of precum appeared on the swollen red tip. Sebastian licked it away. Ciel yelled. His eyes wide with shock. Sebastian sucked gently as though searching for more. Two of his fingers went into his mouth and came out glistening before Sebastain's mouth returned to Ciel's cock this time taking him down to the root causing the boy to scream, head tossing on the pillow, making a mess of his dark hair. One clever finger found the boy's small, pink hole. Sebastian pushed it in slowly until it was buried to the knuckle in crushing, silken, warmth. Ciel could do little more than moan and whine as Sebastian's tongue assaulted his cock. The sucking, slurping sounds buried beneath his cries. The tip of Sebastian's finger brushed Ciel's prostate. The boy shrieked, his back arching. Sebastian took his mouth away to allow him room to breath, still stretching his hole with one finger. His free hand rubbing Ciel's shaking thigh. The boy looked entirely wrecked. Completely lost to pleasure. "Seba-Sebastian!" He gasped, eyes turning to meet the demon's. Sebastian looked at his parted panting lips and and blown pupils. He kept watching Ciel's face as he pushed a second finger in. He squeezed his eyes shut and cried out in pleasure. When he opened them, he didn't look quite so helpless. "Sebastian. Just do it already!" Sebastian blinked in surprise. "But young master-" "I want your cock inside me. Do it now!" He commanded. Sebastian was gone in an instant. Ciel sat up in shock but just as quickly Sebastian returned holding a small bottle of something of a yellowish tint. Ciel glared. "Are you going to fuck me or not?" "Of course, young master. But I don't intend to cause you more nightmares either. Lie back now so I can prepare you to take me." Ciel huffed in a way that implied 'don't tell me what to do' and tossed himself down onto his stomach, his red ass in the air waiting. The demon couldn't resist. His hands gripped the reddened flesh earning a whimper from his young master. A finger traced over the tight hole offered to him. His tongue followed. Ciel gasped. Then he whined. "Sebastian wha-" His question broke off into moans as the demon's tongue laved over the sensitive rose bud of his ass making filthy wet sounds that filled the room. The end of his tongue prodded at Ciel's hole until it slipped in, wet and wiggling inside him and too long to be human. Ciel panted the demon's name into the pillows. His small hips rocked against the sheets. "Se-Sebastian, I need-" he gasped. "What do you need, my lord?" Sebastian coated his fingers in the oil he'd brought and slowly started to push one inside. What ever Ciel was saying was lost in the litany of whimpers the young earl produced. "Ahh," he whined. "Fuck me, Sebastian!" The demon chuckled. "Don't be so impatient." "Sebastian!" The boy shrieked impatiently. He wiggled and squirmed. Sebastian curled his finger and found the boy's prostate making him shriek and claw at the bed. The demon smiled. "I certainly can't wait to be buried inside my young master, but I won't risk tearing you open either." Sebastian gently pushed in a second finger. "Patience, my lord." Ciel whined with frustration. "Now, Sebastian!" he demanded. "Fuck me, now!" Sebastian sighed and pulled his fingers free of Ciel's tight hole. "If you insist." The demon stood. He stripped off his pants and climbed back on the bed behind Ciel. He gripped the boy's hips as he knelt behind him. "Very well. Are you ready?" "How many times do I have to tell you? I'm bloody ready!" "Once more, my lord." "I'm ready, alright?" Without another word Sebastian started to push his way into the boy's hot little hole. Ciel gasped. His fingers dug into the sheets and he groaned as he was filled more than he was ready for. "I warned you it would be too much." "It's not- argh- too much! It's- I'm-" Ciel lost focus as Sebastian's cock rubbed against his prostate. "You're doing well, my lord. Just breathe through it," the demon advised. "I'm trying- but your cock is- is splitting me open!" He gasped. "Do you see what impatience will get you?" "Stop talking!" Sebastian chuckled. He continued to push slowly into the small body as Ciel panted and grit his teeth. He stopped with his hips against the boy's ass to stroke Ciel's hair, damp with sweat. The demon waited. After a moment, "move," Ciel growled. "Move already!" "As you wish, my lord." Sebastian gripped his hips and slowly pulled out, only to push back in equally as slowly. Ciel whimpered when sharp hips met his sore ass, but he let the demon take him, pushing in and out in a slow rhythm. The world fell away as it had before. His mind knew only pleasure and pain. His mouth hung open releasing moans and whimpers, but he didn't care. "If you would trust me we could have gotten here much easier," the demon mused. "But I suppose you wouldn't be you if you weren't difficult." Ciel couldn't be bothered to protest his butler's condescending tone. He simply moaned. "Mm, Sebastian." "Young master," Sebastian purred. Having the young earl so completely at his mercy delighted the demon. His pace quickened, but he wasn't nearly as rough as he would have liked to be. As always his task was to serve his master and not to indulge his own whims. Ciel's fingers curled in the pillow beneath his head. He cried the Sebastian's name as the demon fucked him. He felt white hot tension building up inside him. He grit his teeth as it grew unbearable and finally released in a sudden wave of pleasure. Ciel collapsed, limp, onto his pillow, his body wet with sweat and his own release. He felt Sebastian's weight leave his back, his cock no longer stretching his body open. A soft, gloved hand pet his cheek. “Rest now, young master,” he heard his butler say, but as it sounded as if he were far away as Ciel fell quickly asleep. End Notes Follow_my_writing_blog Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!