Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/584983.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Atonement_(2007)
  Relationship:
      Paul_Marshall/Lola_Quincey
  Character:
      Briony_Tallis, Robbie_Turner, Cecilia_Tallis, Leon_Tallis, Lola_Quincey,
      Paul_Marshall
  Additional Tags:
      Falling_In_Love, Unrequited_Love, Love_Confessions, First_Kiss, First
      Love, Rape, Candy, Chocolate, Crossover_Pairings, Weddings, Child_Abuse,
      Twins, Summer, War, Underage_-_Freeform, AU, Pedophilia
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-12-06 Words: 2879
****** 'Bite it. You have to bite it.' ******
by StilesHale91
Summary
     ❀ A theory behind Paul and Lola's relationship.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
It was an awfully hot day in Surrey, the young girl who was sitting by the
window, tried to cool down, but there wasn't even a gentle breeze. She was
resting her deep blue eyes on the view, which was picturesque, with the antique
fountain, the green fields with lots of trees and the lake in the distance. But
Lola just yawned, the road to Surrey was rather tiring and boring, and she
wasn't happy to be there at all. Her thoughts were circling around her parents
and the question of divorce. She picked out a red nail-varnish from her pocket
what she secretly bought herself at Liberty's, the vial of the varnish clinked
against something in her pocket, then she smirked, it was a brand new claret
lipstick, but she rather left that untouched for now, she might use it later.
Lola stretched out and started to varnish her nails. As she finished she smiled
with delight as it looked pretty on her, but quickly this smile disappeared
from her face. She just sighed and continued looking out the window, and her
thoughts were far away: ' What's the point of doing all this? Buying nice
clothes, making my hair, everyone treat me like a child, but I'm not, I'm 15
years old for God's sake. I've read lots of romantic novels, there used to be
women who was married already by this age, and the adults think that I'm as
childish like my brothers.' Then her thoughts were interrupted as a ball almost
hit her. Lola stood up quickly and yelled at the twins.
"Why don't you go, and play outside?! If you'll break the windows they'll say
it's my fault, because I'm responsible for you!"
"But we're bored Lola, what else you think we should do?"
Jackson threw the ball into the corner with anger then leaned down on the floor
and started to play 21 questions with his brother. Lola kept her eyes on them
while she was blowing her nails, then her cousin entered without even knocking
and held some sheets of paper in her arms. As it turned out later, Lola's
cousin wrote a play, with the title 'The Trials of Arabella', and she wanted
them to present it. But the rehearsal was a failure, as the twins as always got
bored of it and rather ran out to the lake. Although Lola was rather excited
about it, as unlikely to the twins it was a remedy to her boredom, she'd have
played the main role. But she wasn't so upset anyway, she didn't really like
Briony, she thought that her cousin was stuck up and pampered. The play was
dedicated to Briony's brother, who was expected to arrive that day, and it was
also said he'll bring a guest with him. Lola was all alone in the room for a
while and took a nap, she woke up for the twins' chatter. They were talking
about their parents and the divorce, it pissed Lola off so much, because she
was upset about the idea too, so she decided to discipline them. It was
interrupted when a tall and well dressed man walked into their room. Lola felt
for the first time that her heart was racing funnily. Then she heard his name,
Paul Marshall, what a music to the ears. Lola just couldn't take her eyes off
him, she was glaring deeply into those beautiful charming eyes. When he said he
fancies her trousers, she felt absolutely delighted, a compliment from such an
elegant and mature man like Mr. Marshall. As they were having a short
conversation Lola was running her eyes all over Paul, she loved his mustache it
made him even more handsome, and she just loved the way he dressed, so fancy
and dashing. This man was like the absolute copy of the men in her dreams. When
he handled her a bar of chocolate and said 'Bite it.' her limbs trembled into
his smooth voice and the flirting look on his face. The twins started to feel
the situation dull so they picked up their wooden toy airplane and started
running all over in the house, making a lot of noise. Meanwhile Paul and Lola
stayed in the nursery room on their own. Lola clanged onto the wooden pillar
and didn't stop gazing into Paul's eyes. He walked closer and was looking back
at her, as he rubbed his mouth gently.
" If I may say, that colour on your nails does look absolutely scrumptious,
Miss Lola."
"You're the first one who noticed it, or who made a compliment. Adults usually
say I'm too young for these kind of things, but I'm not, I'm not a child, I'm a
mature woman!"
"Of course you are, and I'm pretty sure this mature woman has a young gentleman
as a partner, am I right?"
"No...I don't have a boyfriend. But I haven't met with anyone who would deserve
to be with me. However adults, they don't even notice me, and at school with
who I met all of them were so childish and ridiculous. But none of them were
like you Mr. Marshall."
"Oh dear Lola, I'm flattered by your words. I wonder how could other men avoid
noticing those beautiful blue eyes, that pretty freckled cheek and those red
full lips, it's so hard to resist not to touch them. "
Lola blushed deeply and leaned a little closer to Paul, her black eye lashes
made her look even more provoking. Marshall's fever made him to act, he pressed
his lips against Lola's and gave a deep kiss to her. Lola felt her body has
started heating up, she hardly could stand on her feet, she thought to herself,
so that's what love is. Paul backed off a little and stroked Lola's cheek. He
couldn't stop himself from going further, it was impossible to resist Lola, she
was shooting at him such provoking glances. He pushed Lola against the pillar
and pressed his body tightly to her, while he caressed her body, and slipped
his hand onto her lap. Lola got all shocked, this was all too new and
frightening for her. She tried to push Marshall away but he just got more
turned on, he slid his hand under Lola's shirt, and touched her nipple with his
long fingers. She didn't know what to do so she scratched Paul's cheek with her
nails and she wanted to run out but Paul grabbed her arm tightly. Lola wanted
to escape from his grip but he was too strong and he was squeezing her arm even
harder. She asked him to let her go, then slowly he took his hand off her.
"Don't tell anyone about this! Oh yes, and if they ask about the bruise on your
arm, tell the twins have done it."
Paul stormed out from the room and slammed the door behind him. Lola burst out
into tears. She had multiple feelings inside her, pain, fear, shock. Paul
scared her and was mean to her. She thought that perhaps after that she has
scratched him, he will never ever talk to her. She was blaming herself, but she
got scared from her own feelings, her body was acting so differently like ever
before. As Paul touched the intimate areas on her body, next to the shock it
felt strangely good, but she just didn't want to admit it to herself, she
thought it's a sin or something that she shouldn't have enjoyed , but she did,
and there was nothing she could do about it. Later on the day she did tell
everyone who asked that the bruises on her arm were caused by the twins. At the
dinner table Marshall was sitting front of her, and she was wondering whether
he was angry with her or not. Others were asking about the bruises as well and
the wound on Paul's face, but he talked it out. When Lola got to know that the
twins ran away she felt so nervous, because if something happened to them then
it'll be her responsibility. She got so mad, and went out to the dark property
on her own. She got more and more farther from the mansion. She had only a thin
pink dress on her but the weather was still warm. Then someone grabbed her arms
from behind and pressed her body against the grass.
" Lola, it's okay I'm not going to hurt you."
Paul's voice caused such a pleasing feeling to Lola. He kissed her neck from
behind, and this time she didn't want to push him away. Paul had such a strong
lust for Lola, he couldn't wait. He lifted up Lola's dress and pulled down her
panties, then unzipped his trousers. His member wanted to get inside Lola, he
was at the top of his erection. Paul grabbed Lola's shoulder and thrust his
member into her tight and untouched cunt. Paul immediately placed his hand on
Lola's mouth as he thought she might scream. Lola was screaming and moaning
against his hand. He was moving in and out fast and rough while he was sighing
against Lola's neck. As Paul was enjoying it, Lola had deep pains in her body,
she didn't know what, but it strained her womb and it caused strong aches. She
wanted him to stop, but he didn't, Paul just started to thrust more and more
harder and faster, when finally he stopped. Lola felt weird as something poured
into her womb, something warm. Then someone held a torch against them, which
made Paul to quickly run away. As Lola sat up she felt something dripping down
on her thighs, and her cheek was covered with tears. It was Briony who stepped
to her, and asked about who was it. Lola felt grateful about that she didn't
see Paul, she didn't want to reveal that he was the one who did this to her.
Then from a sudden her cousin accused Robbie, the friend of their family, and
as Lola didn't have anything else in mind it seemed a comfortable answer in
order to cover for Marshall so she agreed that it really was Robbie. Because of
the shock of course Lola was crying but rather because of the pain and the
event, and not because she felt sorry about it. As Briony's brother brought her
in she glanced at Paul who was sleeping on the couch, she just couldn't believe
how can he be so calm about it, and then she felt fear, what if he doesn't even
care.
After that night Paul and Leon stayed at the property for a few more days, but
Paul avoided any meeting or even a glance at Lola, it would have been too
risky, after what had happened. Then he left without saying anything to Lola.
Months passed and Lola still was at her cousin's house, she was in an agony
every single day, and they understood her. The recovery from a rape must have
been hard and a long process, but none of them suspected the real reason of her
grief. Lola missed Marshall, she couldn't stop thinking about him, she saw him
in her dreams, and even when she was awake, she was daydreaming about him day
after day. As more and more months passed, she began to feel desperate. Lola
didn't even dare to think into what if she won't see Paul ever again, she won't
feel his warm lips, his touch...At least the twins were told to keep away from
Lola and do not bother her. She gloated upon that now Briony has to take care
of the twins. Lola was wandering on the property in the afternoons pointlessly,
she was remembering back to every single word what Paul has said to her, his
fragrance, his suits, his perfect face. She blamed herself perhaps it was her
fault that Paul left without saying a word. She just couldn't forget about Paul
but honestly she didn't want to. The only thing which was on her mind was Paul,
she even wrote some love letters but always threw them away, she couldn't send
them, and the risk was too much, she never wanted to cause any problem to Paul.
One day when they were having lunch at the dining room, one of the servants
came in with a package and he placed it on the table. Lola's heart almost
jumped out of its place as she glanced at the sender's name. The package was
from Paul Marshall. His chocolate factory reached quite a big success and the
box was full of chocolate bars each with a little note with a name on it. As
Lola got hers, she left the room and went upstairs to her room. She leaned
against the door and hugged the chocolate to herself and smiled with tears in
her eyes. She started to move away the wrapper, and her eyes widened up as she
noticed a little note with handwriting on it. She quickly locked the door and
sat down on the floor before she began to read it.
'My dearest Lola,
I'm in a tough situation, but you know that better than me, because you really
are a mature and smart woman. I can't forget about that night, wish it'd have
last longer. I'm that kind of man who can decide shortly and I'm confident, but
in our case, once in my life I don't know what to do next. All I can say to be
patient, and wait for me, because I will, you captured my heart and I can't
escape from it, doesn't matter how hard I try. Our time will come Lola, and
then I'll turn up and you'll be mine. - Paul Marshall'
Lola had so many feelings, the tears just burst out of her heavily. She was
more than happy that she got news from Paul moreover that he did love her back.
She cursed it that she was only 15 years old, and that the adults were thinking
stupidly that she's not old enough for love. But she swore at that sacred
moment that she'll wait for Paul Marshall, no matter how long, but she'll wait
and keep herself just for him. It seemed hard to wait that much, to not be able
to see him, but that'd probably ruin their plans if she would, it'd have been
suspicious perhaps to others. She wanted to keep the little note from Paul but
she couldn't risk it, so she read it once again before she threw it into the
fireplace.
Five years have passed and the only thing which kept life in Lola was that
she'll see Paul again, that his love will return to her. But with each year the
spark of hope started to burn out from her. There were days when she told
herself that Paul must have gotten married by now and already forgotten about
her. She was now 20 years old, really a grown up woman even in the eyes of the
adults. There were some men who tried to flirt with her or have a chat, but she
was repulsive and cold with all of them, her heart was already taken. Lola and
the twins were living at a far relative on a countryside. She also worried
about that what if Paul was looking for her but never found her because she
moved away to a different place. One of the days she went to the backyard and
sat down on a bench, the sun was heating up her body and Lola slowly fell
asleep, she woke up as someone was holding her hand. She almost fainted, and
she couldn't breathe for some seconds. It was Paul, he was sitting there beside
her, holding her hand gently and said just one thing: 'I returned my love.' As
they were alone in the garden Lola without thinking kissed him deeply then
snuggled tightly to him. After all those years of waiting, finally her dream
came true, Paul came back. After that day Paul became a daily visitor to them,
and after a week he engaged Lola. The engagement and the wedding all happened
so quickly, but they all waited for 5 years, they didn't want to wait more for
each other. After they got married and headed away from the church, Lola
noticed Briony in the back rows, and she got scared, because from the look on
Briony's face Lola thought, she knew, she must have seen Paul on that night.
Lola was worried what if she'll reveal her and Paul's secret, but she didn't,
she was just standing there and watching them leave. Lola felt sometimes guilty
about Robbie, but she couldn't really help him and she didn't want to because
with the truth she'd never have the chance with Marshall. It was a bigger sin
and guilt for Briony as she was the one who found out the whole thing about
Robbie and her. But after the wedding nothing really bothered Lola anymore,
because she got what she wanted, Paul by her side forever. Nothing could
compare with that feeling that everyday she fell asleep in his strong arms and
woke up by his side.
End Notes
     ☆ I've seen the movie, Atonement, I've read the book, but it was
     never 100% clear for me what was really going on between Lola and
     Paul, the reasons for many things either. I've read several forums
     and people are just guessing. Therefore I decided to write down a
     theory.
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