Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/988025.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager
  Character:
      Eren_Yeager, Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Jean_Kirstein
  Additional Tags:
      Minor_Character_Death, Yaoi, Eren_is_adorkable, Angst_and_Humor, Anal
      Sex, Oral_Sex, Male_Slash, Jean_has_a_crush_on_Bertholdt_and_it_is
      amusing, Some_Jean/Marco_Feels, TW:_Hunting_scenes, Alternate_Universe_-
      Canon_Divergence, Jean_is_comic_relief, Eventual_Smut, Fluff, Platonic
      Male/Male_Relationships, Levi_is_a_badass, Sorry_Jean, (Partially)_Posted
      Elsewhere, For_The_Kink_Meme!, Sharing_Body_Heat, Sexual_Tension, Awkward
      Boners, so_many_awkward_boners, Explicit_Language, Slow_Build, TW:_Blood,
      TW:_Violence, Canon-Typical_Violence, Canonical_Character_Death, Hand
      Jobs, Community:_snkkink, Anal_Fingering, Dirty_Talk, Hurt/Comfort, Men
      Crying
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-10-02 Completed: 2014-10-30 Chapters: 18/18 Words: 72365
****** Beyond The Walls ******
by Light_Within_Darkness
Summary
     It was Eren's first mission with the Survey Corps, and it was
     supposed to be an easy one. However, the Titans never make anything
     easy. What was supposed to be a simple reconnaissance turns into a
     fight for survival when a Titan attack leaves Levi, Eren, and Jean
     stranded out in the woods, miles away from the Walls. As if that
     wasn't bad enough, it's the middle of winter.
     With their 3D Maneuver Gear broken beyond repair, they'll have to
     overcome more than just the elements to make it back home. Namely,
     each other. As well as the feelings that Levi and Eren may or may not
     be starting to have for each other.
     One thing's for certain: survival is going to be a bitch.
Notes
     This was originally written for a prompt on the Shingeki no Kyojin
     Kink Meme on Dreamwidth, involving Eren, Levi, and Jean getting lost
     in the woods together during the winter. I'll be posting it on the
     kink meme as well as here on AO3. You can find the original prompt
     here: http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/2848.html?page=18#comments
     This is a canon AU that takes place around the time of the Female
     Titan arc. The events of this fic take the place of the Survey Corps
     expedition where Titan!Annie shows up for the first time in canon. So
     this is an AU, but a canon-compliant one. :)
     Enjoy~
***** Chapter 1 *****
Levi had no idea how it had come to this. He was still half-hoping that the
day's events would turn out to be some sort of terrible nightmare. In another
minute or so he would wake up safe and sound in his warm, clean bed back at the
Survey Corps HQ. In order to test this theory, Levi closed his eyes and pinched
the skin of his wrist as hard as he possibly could. The Corporal had heard,
when he was very young, that such an action would cause a person to jolt awake
out of a bad dream.
"Shit," Levi breathed out, feeling a sharp pain shoot through his arm. The
Corporal immediately released the abused skin, which was now an angry red
color. He opened his eyes to see that nothing around him had changed. Levi was
still knee-deep in a snowdrift, with an unconscious Eren Jeager lying in a
sprawled-out heap a few feet away. Levi's 3D Maneuver Gear lay in a heap of
tangled wires and broken metal around him, bits and pieces sticking out of the
snow like jagged teeth. A broken canister near his foot was slowly oozing out
gas, staining the snow around it a dirty gray. And on top of all that, the wind
was picking up, biting straight through Levi's green cloak and making him
shiver. Closing his eyes again, Levi let the memories of how this had happened
filter slowly back through his mind.
-x-
Levi had been leading a mission out to check on one of the few supply depots
the Survey Corps had managed to set up beyond Wall Maria. The Survey Corps had
to run these sorts of checks periodically, in order to make sure that there was
no structural damage and that the food and other supplies inside were in good
condition. The supply depots were small, to be sure, but they were still
crucial outposts for humanity in the fight against the Titans. A ruined depot
could mean the difference between life and death during a battle.
Erwin had ordered that Eren come along on this mission. It was considered
"routine," at least by Survey Corps standards. In reality, there was no such
thing as a "routine mission." Titan territory was dangerous and unpredictable
in even the best circumstances. For many soldiers, it proved to be fatal.
Still, Erwin argued, Eren needed to experience what it was like to be outside
the walls on a scouting mission. Since this particular mission was considered
low-risk, the military brass had decided that it would be perfect as Eren's
first. Levi had rolled his eyes at that - Eren had lived through Shiganshina
and Trost, so what was the point in treating him with kid gloves now? Still, he
supposed, it was better than throwing a brat who could barely control his own
Titan powers into the middle of a raging battlefield.
It was a cold morning in early January when they'd left. Despite the clear blue
sky and bright sun, the air outside was the coldest Levi had ever felt it to
be. The wind never seemed to let up either, a freezing cold gust that bit right
through the Corporal's green traveling cloak. Powdery snow blew right into
their faces, flashing in the sunlight and making for poor visibility. Levi
could tell right away that it was going to be a miserable trip.
They rode off in a basic scouting formation, with Levi, his squad, and Eren
making up the center group. Two other groups of soldiers flanked them on the
right and left. A few other soldiers would be serving as messengers, riding
between the groups to relay orders. One of these messengers was a soldier from
the 104th Trainee Corps like Eren, a boy by the name of Jean Kirschtein. Levi
had ordered Jean to ride with the center group, so that he wouldn't have to
waste precious time looking for the kid in an emergency. This proved to be a
mistake, as no one had bothered to tell Levi that Eren and Jean apparently
couldn't stand each other.
"It's freezing out here," Jean complained for what had to be the hundredth time
in an hour, as the amber-eyed soldier huddled slightly further into his cloak.
"I think my balls are gonna fall off."
"Yeah, if you had any balls," Eren muttered quietly. Gunter, who had been
riding alongside Eren, let out a loud snicker that managed to catch Jean's
attention. The disgruntled frown Jean had been wearing ever since they'd
departed deepened as he glared at Eren.
"You're one to talk, Jaeger," Jean growled. "Have you ever gotten laid at all
in your life? Cause I gotta say, it's gonna suck to die a virgin."
Eren's big blue-green eyes lit up in anger. "Like any girl would willingly
sleep with you, horse-face! You'd have to put a bag over your head if you
wanted to get any."
"If the two of you continue speaking, I will personally make sure neither of
you ever gets the chance to fuck anyone, period," Levi said curtly, before Jean
had a chance to even open his mouth. "This isn't the fucking academy here. If
you idiots end up getting eaten, it'll be because you wouldn't shut up long
enough to watch out for - "
"Titans, Captain!" Petra's shout cut through Levi's speech. The woman pointed
to their left, her light brown eyes wide with urgency. Levi turned in time to
see the huge silhouettes of three Titans. Large ones, by the look of things.
Two of them looked to be at least ten-meter class, and the third was probably a
six- or seven-meter class. The ground trembled beneath the heavy footfalls of
the monsters as they approached.
"Fuck," Jean breathed a few feet away. All of them were standing in the middle
of a wide-open, snow-covered plain. The only kind of cover for miles was a
single, albeit fairly large, tree. Levi could only just barely make it out
against the northern horizon, and it was probably at least half a mile's ride
away, if not more. Still, it was their only hope for survival.
"Head towards the tree!" Levi shouted. "If we can make it there, we can use our
maneuver gear to mount a counter-offensive!" The Corporal spurred his horse
into a full gallop, and heard the sounds of his squad, Jean, and Eren doing
likewise. Before long the horses' hooves were kicking up snow in a great
powdery cloud behind them, the landscape racing past their eyes in a blur of
white. Levi focused solely on the tree in the far distance, growing slowly but
steadily larger. They would make it. They had to make it.
"Sir!" Erd rode up on Levi's right, their two horses racing alongside each
other. "We never received a signal flare from the left flank warning us of
Titans approaching! Do you think - "
"Keep your mouth shut and don't worry about it until we've killed these
fuckers!" Levi shouted. At this point, however, it was probably fair to assume
the worst. Even the most hardened soldiers would have shit their pants at the
sight of three large-class Titans approaching. The left flank had probably
followed their first instincts and tried to flee, but a horse could only outrun
a Titan for so long in an open area. The left flank's soldiers had probably
been wiped out before any of them had thought to fire a signal. Damn you,
Erwin, Levi thought angrily. Why did you make me lead this stupid fucking
mission in the first place? You should have led this one, dammit!
Levi immediately wiped the thought from his memory. Thinking about the gruesome
ways in which soldiers died was not conducive to survival at the moment.
"Auruo, fire the signal!" He shouted. A moment later there was a loud bang, and
a plume of red smoke flew up above their heads, signaling that a Titan had been
sighted. Hopefully, the right flank at least would be alerted to the situation.
They were perhaps a little more than halfway to the tree when Levi heard Eren
shout, "Captain Levi, sir! Gunter is in trouble!"
Levi risked a brief glance over his shoulder, and saw that Gunter's horse was
struggling. The animal had probably thrown a shoe and injured one of its
hooves, since bright circles of crimson were staining its prints in the snow.
The horse was still trying to gallop at full speed, but was quickly flagging.
One of the Titans was practically close enough to grab Gunter right off of his
horse.
"Sir, if you'll let me transform, I can save him!" Eren shouted. He was riding
only slightly behind Levi now. Levi watched out of the corner of his eye as
Eren brought his hand up to his mouth, those bright blue-green eyes of his
blazing with determination.
"Don't do it, Eren!" Petra shouted. "Commander Erwin said that you were only
allowed to transform if your life is in danger!"
"You're still not able to fully control your powers!" Erd added his voice as
well. "It won't be safe if you transform now!"
Levi could see Eren staring at him, confusion showing in his face. What should
I do? The boy's eyes asked Levi silently. Tell me what to do. I don't know what
the right choice to make is.
"Eren." The Corporal raised his voice so that Eren could hear it above the din
of the galloping horses and roaring Titans. "If you want to transform now, I
won't stop you. Only you can make that choice. Know, however, that I and my
squad have sworn to protect you. We will not let you die without a fight. So
make your decision, Jaeger: trust in your comrades, or trust in yourself?"
For several long moments Eren's hand hung suspended in midair, only an inch
away from his mouth. Then, finally, the young soldier dropped his hand to his
side, and resolutely closed his mouth. "I will go forward with the Squad, sir!"
Eren shouted.
"Thank you, Eren! We won't let you down, promise!" Petra replied.
Despite the fact that Titans were mere yards away from them now, Levi felt a
brief, warm feeling bloom in his chest at the realization that Eren had decided
to trust them. Eren trusted him to lead them to safety, and he trusted Squad
Levi with his life. Privately, Levi swore that he wouldn't let Eren down. He
would prove that the brat's trust wasn't misplaced.
Then, predictably, everything went to shit.
One of the larger Titans suddenly lunged forward, making a wild grab for Eren.
It missed by several yards, but still managed to knock up a great heap of snow,
which caused Eren's horse to stumble and fall with a high-pitched scream. Eren
was pitched out of the saddle, and sent tumbling and bumping through the snow
to land a short distance away from another Titan. The monster only had to take
one more great stride forward and it would crush the brat. Eren's eyes were
fixed on the Titan's feet, wide with the thought of his impending death.
Shit shit goddammit Eren you fucking brat shiiittt... Foul language coursed
through Levi's head a mile a minute as he activated his 3D maneuver gear,
latching one of the wires onto the Titan's shoulder. The Corporal swung forward
out of his saddle, flying through the air towards Eren. Levi managed to grab
his young charge around the waist, sending up another cloud of snow into the
air scant moments before the Titan's foot came down with an earth-shattering
thud. Levi swung up and around to land in the crook of the Titan's neck, Eren
pressed firmly to his side. The boy blinked up at him, confused as to how he
was still alive.
"Corporal, what...?" Eren was cut off by a deafening roar of anger from the
Titan they were currently riding on. It raised one of its hands to try and
brush off the two humans in much the same way a man would brush off a
bothersome fly on a hot day. Once again Levi sent wires flying forth from his
maneuver gear, this time swinging Eren and himself around to land on the
Titan's knee. Angry roars erupted from the Titan, and the monster took off at a
run, probably hoping to shake off the painful spikes of the maneuver gear
embedded in its flesh. It kicked up great waves of snow which battered against
Levi and Eren like a blizzard from hell.
"Fuck!" Levi hissed as the cold snow whipped against his body. The stuff seemed
to permeate all the gaps in his cloak and uniform, and it felt painfully cold
against Levi's skin. The Corporal pressed himself further against the Titan,
doing his best to shield Eren and himself from the snow.
"Captain Levi! Eren!" Upon seeing his commanding officer and Eren get trapped
against the Titan's knee, Jean had sprung immediately into action. Before
Trost, Jean would probably have let one of Levi's squad handle the rescue while
he rode his horse as fast as possible in the other direction. But after seeing
his comrades fall by the hundreds in Trost - after seeing Marco die - Jean was
determined not to let another soldier die in front of him while the brunet
could still do something about it.
Jean let his maneuver gear pull him up off his horse, shooting the wires forth
to latch onto the Titan's shoulder blade. He felt the air hit him in a sudden
rush of cold as Jean pulled out his swords from their places in his maneuver
gear, the blades flashing deadly silver in the sunlight. Crying out in rage,
Jean swung up towards the nape of the Titan's neck, arm poised to swing...
Only to feel a harsh pull on his torso, as the wire that had been supporting
him was suddenly pulled tight. The Titan, having felt yet another sharp pain in
its body, had raised its arm up in a desperate, bestial attempt to get rid of
whatever was causing it pain. Its fingers happened to catch against the wires
of Jean's maneuver gear, which they soon clasped around and pulled. Hard.
There was a loud, metallic snap as the wires were pulled free of the main
maneuver gear unit. In fact, the entire front half of the maneuver gear was
pulled apart with a terrible, screeching noise. Jean watched in horror as bits
of metal and wire went flying everywhere, catching the light and glimmering
like stars before falling to the ground below. And then he was falling as well,
the air rushing past his ears and drowning out all other sound. The sky spun in
a wild blue disc above Jean's face, the sun's rays blinding him. This was it,
he was finally dead, he'd be crushed to bits against the ground or a Titan's
foot any moment now...
WHUMP.
All of Jean's breath was forced out of him in a great rush as his back landed
hard against the springy bough of a tree. The bark was slippery with snow and
ice, however, and Jean felt himself sliding off. He scrabbled around for
something to hold onto, felt his fingers catch briefly onto a piece of half-
frozen bark sticking off of the tree's trunk, before Jean slid off completely.
He was falling again, although this time it was the dirty, snowy ground that
was coming up to meet him. There was something else down there too, something
hard and gray...
Jean recognized the large rock beneath him just before he landed on it. A brief
but intense jolt of pain ran through his body, and then the world went dark
around him.
A few moments later, the Titan Levi and Eren had been riding on kicked its leg
out in one last-ditch attempt to get rid of the pain in its knee. This time,
however, it worked. The 3D maneuver gear had never been built to withstand
holding onto a fast-moving Titan for long periods of time. Having been pushed
past its limits, Levi's maneuver gear broke apart with a loud wrench of metal.
Levi and Eren were sent flying through the air to land hard in a nearby
snowdrift, where they both promptly lost consciousness.
-x-
Now, Levi was sitting in that same snowdrift where he'd been knocked out, the
shattered pieces of his maneuver gear lying around him. A forest of tall trees
surrounded him, their leafless, snow-covered boughs stretching up to dim the
sun's rays. Damn, Levi thought to himself. That fucking Titan must have carried
us farther than I'd thought.
The Corporal moved to check Eren, who was still lying unconscious next to him,
grunting in pain as he did so. Apparently, Levi's body had not taken well to
riding on a Titan for several miles, followed by being thrown off and lying in
an unconscious heap in the snow. At least nothing felt broken though, so there
was that.
Eren was, luckily, still breathing. Knowing the brat's crazy regeneration
abilities, Levi was willing to bet that he was probably unscathed. "Come on,
Jaeger, get up," he grunted, roughly shaking Eren's shoulder. "We have to get
out of here."
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi and Eren find Jean, and awkward boners are had.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"...get up, Jaeger! Fucking wake up already!"
Eren groaned as his eyes slowly fluttered open. The world around him was a
blurry, black and white mess. He blinked hard a few times, and after a minute
or so his surroundings came into focus. He was currently lying in a bank of
snow, and had been for some time now, if the cold in his arms and legs was
anything to go by. The dark, skeletal branches of trees towered high above his
head, crisscrossing over the sky like cracks in a pane of glass. Crouching over
Eren's form was a pale man with neatly parted black hair and concerned gray
eyes. Captain Levi?
Eren winced as the memories of how he'd ended up here rushed in all at once,
like an engorged river after a heavy rainstorm. The three Titans chasing them,
one of them managing to pitch Eren off of his horse. Captain Levi managing to
save him at the last minute. The Titan taking off at a run, with Levi and Eren
clinging to its knee by the 3D Maneuver Gear. Then the monster had kicked out
its leg, Levi's maneuver gear had broken...and the last thing Eren remembered
until now was flying through the air. He must have been knocked unconscious.
Eren sat up, crying out softly as his head spun. A dull, throbbing ache pulsed
right behind his eyes, and his body felt stiff and numb from lying in the snow
for so long. At least nothing appeared to be broken.
"Easy, brat," Levi said, laying a steadying hand on Eren's shoulder. "I don't
need you passing out on me after I've finally managed to get you awake."
"Captain Levi...where are we?" Eren mumbled. He managed with some effort to
lift his arms, and pressed his hands gently against his eyes, trying to
alleviate his headache at least a bit.
"I don't know," Levi grunted, and Eren thought he could hear a hint of concern
underneath the Corporal's normally cool and collected exterior. "But we need to
get moving now. It'll be nighttime soon, and I sure as hell don't want to be
out in the open like this after the sun goes down. Can you stand?"
"I...I think so." Forcing his leaden arms and legs to work, Eren managed to
push himself up into a standing position. He wobbled unsteadily for a moment,
but stayed upright. After a few moments, there was a tingling sensation as
Eren's limbs began to warm up slightly with use.
"Does anything hurt, Jaeger?" Levi asked.
"My head," Eren mumbled, rubbing at the place between his eyes with two
fingers.
"That's not what I meant, brat. Do your arms and legs hurt? Does anything feel
broken or bruised?"
Eren swung his arms and stomped his feet a little, then prodded gently along
his torso for injuries. He was relieved when nothing hurt. "I feel fine, sir."
"Good." Levi squinted up at the sun, frowning as he saw it starting to dip
beneath the western horizon. "Come on, Jaeger. We only have about an hour of
sunlight left, hour and a half tops. We need to find somewhere to hole up until
then. We can figure out what we're going to do next in the morning." Levi
started off at a brisk pace, Eren hurrying after.
They had only been walking for around ten minutes, by Levi's estimation, when
they came across a large, flat rock, half-covered in snow, between two trees.
Lying in a crumpled heap atop the rock was the tall, gangly body of a boy in
the end stages of adolescence. A green Survey Corps cloak was tangled around
his form, and poking out from the folds of green cloth was an all-too familiar
head of messy, ash-brown hair.
"Holy shit...Jean?" Eren cried. The young soldier ran forward to kneel by the
prone body, with Levi close behind. Eren's fingers struggled to remove the
cloak, scrabbling uselessly against the fabric for a few moments until he was
firmly pushed aside by Levi.
"Idiot, you're going to tear his winter gear if you keep doing that! Now help
me flip him over." With a bit of effort, Eren and Levi managed to get their
hands underneath Jean and turn his body until he was lying on his back. Levi
unclasped the cloak and pressed his fingers against Jean's wrist and neck,
searching for a pulse.
Eren bit his lip with worry as he watched the Corporal look Jean over. Sure, he
and Jean...had their differences, if one were to put it kindly. But that didn't
mean Eren wanted him dead! He'd seen enough death in his life already, and Eren
wasn't keen on seeing more people die, no matter who they were.
"He's alive," Levi said after a few terse moments. "There's a steady pulse.
Which is good, because I sure as fuck don't want to perform CPR in this
freezing weather." Much as he had done with Eren earlier, Levi gave Jean's
shoulder a rough shake. "Get up, soldier!"
"Come on, horse-face! I'm not getting eaten by Titans because you won't get
your lazy ass off the ground!" Eren yelled, pushing at Jean's side.
A loud groan issued from Jean's mouth, and his amber eyes slowly fluttered
open, blinking blearily up at the two males hovering over him.
"Fucking finally," Levi muttered. "You feeling all right, kid?"
"Am I dead?" Jean moaned. "Is this hell?"
"You're not dead yet, kid. Now get the fuck up, because I sure as shit won't be
dragging you around," Levi ordered. Jean turned his bleary amber eyes towards
the dark blur of Levi's face, and the first thing he was able to focus on were
the Corporal's piercing, narrow gray eyes. Jean audibly gulped. Those eyes
alone looked like they could kill him with the force of their glare alone.
Lance Corporal Levi was a scary man, that was for sure.
Jean tried to sit up, only to feel a sharp pain lance through his upper torso.
It felt as if someone had just jammed a blade between his ribs. "Ah! Fuck!" He
hissed out between clenched teeth, squeezing his eyes shut against the pain. He
reached a hand up to press against his ribs, wincing when even the light
pressure of his fingers sent jolts of pain through his body.
"Jean? Are you OK?" Jean opened his eyes once again, and this time Eren's face
swam into view, large blue-green eyes full of concern. One of Eren's hands
hovered near Jean's torso, unsure of whether or not direct contact would cause
more harm than good.
Jean swatted the hand away with a loud groan. "This must be hell," he muttered.
"There's no fucking way I'd be in heaven with you, Jaeger."
"H-hey! I was concerned about you, asshole!" Eren spluttered.
"Both of you shut the fuck up, and that's an order," Levi said. It was strange
how the Corporal could manage to sound so intimidating without raising his
voice at all. Maybe it was because Jean and Eren had seen Levi in combat, and
knew that the smaller man could rip them apart with little effort if he wanted
to. The two boys immediately went quiet.
Eren moved back so that Levi could kneel in front of Jean, hovering nervously
in the background while Levi's hands felt along Jean's ribs. The Corporal's
rough, callused fingers and palms hurt as they poked and prodded. Jean sucked
in a breath and let it out in a hiss of half-audible obscenities. This was
perhaps the most physical pain he'd ever felt in his life, and Eren and Levi
were most definitely not helping matters any.
"Bruised ribs," Levi said after a few moments. The Corporal's hands left Jean's
body, and Jean couldn't help a slight sigh of relief. "You're lucky they aren't
broken, though you'd probably be dead if they were. It's not hard for a broken
rib to pierce a lung; I've seen it happen before."
Both Jean and Eren looked at the Corporal in panic. "What should we do,
Captain?" Eren asked. "Bastard or not, Jean's still my comrade. We can't just
leave him here. If a Titan comes along, he's done for."
"We'll just have to carry him until we find somewhere to bed down for the
night," Levi grunted. "It won't be pleasant, but there's nothing else for it."
Levi pulled up Jean's left arm, ignoring the boy's slight cry of pain at the
motion, and wrapped it around Levi's shoulders. "Grab his other arm, Jaeger,"
Levi instructed, and Jean cried out again as he felt Eren lift his right arm to
rest over Eren's shoulders.
"On the count of three, we lift," Levi instructed. "Kirschtein, although Jaeger
and I will be supporting most of your weight, you'll have to try and walk at
least little bit, understand? You'll only hurt yourself worse if you let your
body be dead weight."
"Yes, sir," Jean said, in what was most definitely not a whimper, no sir. Jean
Kirschtein did not fucking whimper at pain, no matter how bad it was.
"Alright then. Jaeger, on the count of three we lift, got it?" Eren nodded
affirmatively. "One...Two...Three!"
Jean practically screamed in pain as Eren and Levi stood up, hoisting him up
alongside, and supporting his weight between the two of them. For a few moments
the three of them simply stood there, as Jean adjusted to standing up. The
taller boy's breath came in and out in pained little hisses.
"Don't fucking scream, you idiot!" Levi growled. "Do you want to give our
position away to the Titans?!"
"Fuck, that hurt," Jean hissed.
"Well, fucking get used to it," Levi replied. "Now let's go."
-x-
The three of them trudged through the snow at a snail's pace. Jean's feet
dragged every step of the way, and little cries and grunts of pain escaped his
clenched jaw every few minutes. They wove through a seemingly never-ending maze
of trees, picking slowly and carefully over rocks, bare roots, and patches of
ice.
"Sir...do you think we're close to the walls?" Eren asked quietly at one point.
"We'll figure it out in the morning, brat," Levi answered gruffly. Eren stopped
talking, keeping his worries to himself. Still, he couldn't help but worry. Was
it possible that no one knew where they were? But...in that case, how were they
supposed to make it back home?
No, Eren thought to himself firmly. I have to make it back to Mikasa and Armin,
and everyone else too. I will not die out here.
The last few rays of sun were quickly disappearing over the horizon, cloaking
the world around them in blue-gray dusk. It was getting difficult to see, and
even the normally unflappable Levi was beginning to feel a few stirrings of
anxiety. Jean's face was almost as pale as the snow underfoot, and his moans
and grunts of pain were getting more frequent. They were moving even slower
than they had been before, and it was clear that Jean wouldn't be able to
hobble along for much longer. Neither could Levi and Eren carry him all night -
Eren especially was starting to show signs of strain. Privately, Levi admired
the two boys for holding up so well under these difficult circumstances.
There was a harsh crunch and a high pitched yelp from Eren as his foot crashed
through the snow, causing the young soldier to stumble and fall flat on his
face. Levi was only just barely able to save Jean from falling over as well, by
quickly yanking the taller boy over so that Jean's body was half-slumped over
his own. "Quit fooling around, brat!" Levi said curtly. "I can't carry
Kirschtein on my own over here."
"Sir, I...I think I've found something!" Eren got back to his feet and started
to brush away the snow around him. It was soon clear that Eren had accidentally
discovered a small cave of sorts, tucked away between three large, cracked
boulders, that had previously been hidden by the snow.
Levi's heart leapt, and he gently laid Jean down for a moment in order to go
and help Eren clear away the snow. Chunks of the cold white stuff fell away
quickly, and before long Levi and Eren had cleared away a small opening between
the rocks, just large enough for the two of them and Jean to squeeze into. It
would be a tight fit, to be sure, and they were bound to be uncomfortable, but
it sure as hell beat dragging Jean around until they ran into a Titan.
"Alright Jaeger, get in," Levi ordered, and Eren climbed down into the little
opening. Eren curled up near the back wall as Levi climbed in after him,
dragging Jean in by the legs. Jean couldn't help the cry of pain that escaped
his mouth as he landed on top of Levi and Eren.
"Relax, Kirschtein, it'll be OK," Levi said absentmindedly. He'd always been
terrible at trying to calm people down, but Jean's breathing seemed to even out
slightly all the same. There wasn't a lot of room to move, but Levi, after
quite a bit of swearing and accidentally elbowing Eren in the stomach at
several points, managed to get Jean's cloak tucked around the boy's tall, wiry
frame in order to make him at least a bit more comfortable.
"It's...cold out here..." Jean mumbled softly. Levi and Eren only heard it
because the three of them were pressed so closely together.
"Well, no shit," Levi replied. "There's no room to make a fire in here, and
even if there was, it's too fucking dark to go out and gather materials for one
by now. We'll have to huddle together for body heat. Jaeger, move closer to
me."
"Don't wanna touch Jaeger," Jean slurred. The taller boy was obviously half-
delirious from pain, but of course Eren didn't pick up on that.
"I don't want to touch you either, horse-face!" Eren growled out.
"Brat, get closer to me and Kirschtein right this fucking second, and that is
an order!" Levi said, in the loudest and most commanding tone he could manage
without actually yelling. It appeared to have worked, because a moment later
Eren's body was pressed tightly against Levi's. The Corporal in turn pressed
himself against Jean, making sure that there wasn't an inch of space between
the three of them.
Despite the fact that he was currently huddling in a tiny, dark cave with two
teenagers, Levi had to admit - only to himself, of course - that being pressed
up against Eren felt...rather nice. Hanji had said that the brat's body
temperature was higher than a typical human male's should be, due of course to
Eren's Titan powers. In the freezing cold, though, Eren felt like a space
heater.
Eren shifted slightly against Levi's back, and he felt the boy's stomach
muscles undulating ever so slightly with the movement. Levi had to admit that
the kid had a nice body, thin and lithe. Of course, all soldiers had to keep
fit, except perhaps for those lazy bastards in the Military Police. However,
Eren's body just seemed...nicer somehow. Maybe it was his eyes, forever caught
between green and blue, with that delicious, ever-present spark of anger and
purpose in them. Or his hair, which always seemed to be messy even if the rest
of Eren wasn't. Or perhaps it was Eren's mouth...
Levi noticed that his pants suddenly felt awfully tight around his groin. A
wave of dread swept through the Corporal as he realized that thinking about
Eren had given him an erection, which was currently being pressed right up
against the small of Jean's back.
Oh fuck, Levi thought. This had just become the most awkward evening of his
life. Not only was he huddled in a cave with two teenagers, but now Levi had an
awkward erection to boot. Really, it was absolutely ridiculous for Levi to even
have a boner in the first place. He didn't feel about Eren in that way...
...Right?
"Mmm," Jean muttered sleepily. "Yeah Bert, just like that...just a little
further..."
Levi felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, suddenly immensely grateful for
the fact that it was dark. He dearly hoped that Jean didn't have an erection
too.
On the Corporal's other side, Eren had begun to snore softly. Unfortunately,
the brat's mouth was right up against Levi's ear, and so it sounded to him like
a stampede of crazed horses.
It was going to be a long night, that was for damn sure.
Chapter End Notes
     So this was supposed to be up last week, but I got buried under a
     deluge of homework and was unable to write very much. Also Pokemon X
     and Y came out this weekend, and that was...also unhelpful in terms
     of getting any writing done.
     Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading! Thank you very much to everyone
     who left kudos and comments. You lovely, wonderful readers are all
     amazing~
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi and Eren go out to gather resources. Levi gives Eren one of his
     extremely rare Inspiring Speeches, and Eren is forced into becoming
     Jean's doctor.
Chapter Notes
     This chapter is late because I'm taking a writing-intensive course at
     college this semester, and because applying for grad school should be
     a form of torture prohibited by the Geneva Convention.
     I also had to rewrite a portion when I remembered that running water
     doesn't usually freeze over. u.u
See the end of the chapter for more notes
The next time Levi opened his eyes, light was filtering down into the tiny
cave. Jean and Eren were sleeping more or less peacefully around him - Eren was
still snoring, but Jean had thankfully stopped moving around and muttering
about "Bert," whoever the fuck that was. Levi's entire body ached, his muscles
having cramped up after hours spent in close quarters with two other people. It
was high time to wake Eren and Jean up so that they could find out just where
the fuck they were. Oh, and go about the business of surviving in a dangerous,
hostile wilderness with no 3D Maneuver Gear, when Titans could show up at any
time. Couldn't very well forget that little detail.
Levi dug his elbow into Eren's ribcage - perhaps a little more roughly than was
absolutely necessary, but the damn brat had given Levi the most uncomfortable
erection of his life. Not to mention that infernal snoring. "Get up, Jaeger,
we've got work to do."
Eren gave a slight yelp, then groaned as his eyes fluttered open. Despite their
dire situation, Levi couldn't help but think that Eren's eyes were absolutely
beautiful up close. The Corporal didn't think he'd ever seen a more vivid shade
of blue-green before. The brat's eyes were a little on the large side, true,
but they worked for Eren.
Mentally, Levi kicked himself for these thoughts. Hadn't he already decided
that last night's erection hadn't happened, as far as he was concerned? Here
they were, trapped in Titan territory, and Levi was mooning over Eren's eyes,
of all things. He must have hit his head when his Maneuver Gear broke, and sent
him and Eren flying off of that Titan.
Levi pushed Jean aside as gently as he could, staying mindful of the amber-eyed
boy's injuries. Nevertheless, Jean awoke instantly with a quiet groan of pain.
"Kirschtein, you stay in this cave today. Keep quiet and don't come out unless
you have to piss. I don't want you attracting any Titans or wild animals."
"Kay..." Jean moaned, eyelids still heavy with sleep.
"Come on, brat," Levi said over his shoulder as he clambered out of their tiny
shelter. The cold air felt like a punch to the face, but Levi still relished
the fact that he was out in the open and could stretch out all his limbs. He
and Eren spent a few minutes just stretching out their arms and legs. Based on
Eren's quiet sigh of relief, Levi could guess that his subordinate was just as
relieved to be out of that cave as well.
Levi worked a few kinks out of his neck, feeling slightly warmer now that he'd
gotten his blood flowing. "Alright, we've got a lot of work to do today," he
said. "First, we're going to head back to the spot where you and I landed after
that fucking Titan bucked us off. We'll need to salvage the remains of my
Maneuver Gear there. Hopefully we can find yours too, while we're at it."
Though Levi figured it wasn't too likely that they'd find Eren's 3D Maneuver
Gear in one piece. Levi hadn't seen it on the brat when he'd regained
consciousness, and it had probably broken off when Eren had been thrown from
his horse. Just another shitty piece of luck to add to the already stinking
heap.
Eren looked confused. "Um, Captain? If I might ask a question...why are we
going back to get your broken equipment? Shouldn't we be trying to get Jean
well enough so that we can head back to the Walls?"
Levi sighed deeply. Eren was a smart kid, but the brat could still be so
fucking dense at times. "You said it yourself, Jaeger. We can't head back to
the Walls right now, not when Kirschtein can barely walk. So we'll be stuck out
here for at least a few days, which means that we'll need food and water. We
can use the remains of my Maneuver Gear to make weapons and tools and such. Now
come on, we're wasting daylight." Levi set off across the snow-covered forest
at a brisk pace, Eren hurrying to follow.
"Sir, how are we going to find the spot we woke up in again?" The entire forest
looked the same to Eren - a vast whiteness only broken up by the dark, jagged
shapes of trees and rocks. The turquoise-eyed soldier doubted that he'd be able
to find where he and Levi had been yesterday even if he'd been given a map.
"I remember where it is," Levi said simply. Eren's brow knitted in confusion,
but he decided not to try and test the Corporal's already thin patience further
with more questions.
-x-
The sun was nearing its high point in the sky by the time Levi and Eren arrived
at the snowbank still littered with the remnants of Levi's 3D Maneuver Gear.
Thankfully, the spot was relatively undisturbed, aside from the messy
depressions that marked where Levi and Eren had lain the day before. Levi bent
and began gathering the scraps of metal and wire scattered about the area, all
that remained of his formerly pristine 3D Maneuver Gear.
Eren went to help, sweeping away the snow in order to uncover the smallest bits
of gleaming metal and wire. There was a deep sinking feeling in the turquoise-
eyed soldier's stomach, as if he had just swallowed a lead weight. Eren had
been harboring a faint hope that perhaps Levi's Maneuver Gear could be
repaired. After all, he hadn't gotten a very good look at it, since he and the
Corporal had set off almost immediately after Eren had regained consciousness.
Eren had known, of course, that this wasn't likely. But there was just
something about seeing the total wreck that had formerly been a working 3D
Maneuver Gear that drained the optimism out of Eren like a sieve. Jean's
Maneuver Gear had broken as well, Eren had seen the same scraps of metal and
wire surrounding his comrade's prone body yesterday. And Eren had no idea where
the hell his own 3D Maneuver Gear was. It hadn't been on him when he'd had
woken up, and it was probably gone for good.
Eren took a few deep breaths, trying hard not to let the panic set in. Outside
the Walls, Maneuver Gear was a soldier's first, best, and only defense against
the Titans. Losing one's 3D Maneuver Gear was analogous to death out here.
Eren's own Titan-shifting powers were unstable at best, and certainly nothing
that could be relied on in this kind of situation. Suddenly, it dawned on Eren
that things had gotten a lot more serious for them.
Levi stood up, brushing the snow from his knees. He'd found several pieces of
good, unbroken wire, and some of the larger chunks of metal would make
perfectly serviceable containers for water and such once they were scrubbed
out. The Corporal had even found a few unbroken blades lying near the foot of a
tree. Just the simple feel of a weapon in his hand again made Levi feel at
least a bit better. Even the smaller, jagged pieces of metal could be used as
makeshift knives or spear points. "Alright Jaeger," the Corporal said. "Let's
head over to where we found Kirschtein yesterday. I want to see what we can
salvage from his 3D Maneuver Gear."
"Ye...yes sir," he heard Eren say, very quietly, from his right. Looking up at
his young subordinate, Levi had to bite back a sigh. The brat had never been
good at concealing his emotions, and the fear and concern Eren must be feeling
at the moment were displayed clearly in the sharp set of his mouth and deeply
furrowed brow. Eren was biting his lip harshly, and Levi could see that the
turquoise-eyed soldier was trying his hardest not to cry.
The Corporal sighed slightly, wondering how he, formerly the most ruthless
crime boss of the underground world, had become an emotional support for
teenagers. "Look at me, Jaeger," he said firmly.
Eren turned slowly to face the Corporal, though he kept his eyes downcast. "I'm
sorry, Captain," Eren said softly. "I must look like such a useless weakling to
you right now..."
Levi clapped a hand onto Eren's shoulder, startling the brat into lifting his
head and meeting Levi's eyes. "Listen Jaeger," Levi said. "I won't sugarcoat it
for you, we're in a real shitty situation right now. Even a hardened soldier
twice your age would be pissing his pants right now. We're trapped in Titan
territory with no 3D Maneuver Gear, Kirsctein's wounded, and we have no idea
where we are."
Eren's face went pale with nerves, but Levi pressed on regardless. "You can't
think about any of that right now, alright Jaeger? Spending your time worrying
about where we are and how we'll get back will only get you killed. You have to
stay in the moment. Focus on how we can survive in the here and now. And right
now, brat, what you need to do is stay alert for Titans, and follow my lead."
Eren's eyes were wide and unblinking, fixed intensely on Levi's own dark ones
as if they were a lifeline. Looking into those bright eyes, Levi found himself
saying something he probably wouldn't have under any other circumstances. "I'll
get us through this, Eren. I promise you, we will survive out here and get back
home."
Eren's eyes widened slightly at the Corporal's use of his first name. Then he
blinked, and Eren's expression stiffened into one of fierce determination.
"Yes, Captain Levi!" Eren said, fisting his hand over his heart in a salute. "I
will follow your lead, sir!"
Levi almost smiled at that. For a homicidal Titan, the brat could be
unbelievably cute at times. "Then come on, we're losing daylight."
-x-
It was when they were heading back to the cave, loaded down with all of the
bits and pieces of what had formerly been Jean's 3D Maneuver Gear, that they
found the river. Levi had suddenly stopped mid-stride, cocking his head
slightly to the left. "Jaeger, do you hear that?"
"Huh?" Eren stared at his commanding officer in confusion. "Sir, I don't
understand - "
"Shut up and listen," Levi said sharply.
Eren did as he was told, and after a few seconds he heard it, too. A babbling,
rushing sound that could only mean one thing. "Captain Levi...there must be
water nearby!"
"Exactly. We need to find it." Levi set off, winding between the trees in the
direction of the sound of running water. Eren followed, suddenly very aware of
just how dry his mouth was. Until now, he and Levi had been eating handfuls of
snow whenever they got thirsty. However, the snow was cold and unpleasant to
swallow, and left Eren's mouth feeling uncomfortably numb for awhile
afterwards. Getting a drink of unfrozen water from a stream sounded like heaven
right now.
They found the stream by a copse of willow trees, bubbling cold and clear over
a bed of slippery rocks. Eren let out a small cry of happiness, running forward
to flop on his stomach and take a good, deep drink, uncaring of the snow and
the cold. Levi snorted slightly at the brat's enthusiasm, before getting to his
knees and taking a long drink of his own.
"Aaaahhh..." Eren flung his head back, sending droplets of water flying
everywhere. Levi winced as a few hit his cheeks. "That was amazing."
"Sit up, Jaeger, you're getting your uniform wet," Levi said, glaring at the
stray drops of water staining the collar of Eren's cloak. Although they were
both decked out in warm winter gear - wool-lined cloaks, gloves, and sturdy
boots - none of it would do Eren any good if it was wet.
"Sorry, sir," Eren mumbled apologetically, wiping his mouth with the back of
his glove before filling up his canteen. Levi filled his as well, along with
the Maneuver Gear parts that still retained enough shape to hold water.
After having drunk his fill, Eren's attention turned to the willow trees
alongside him. The long branches and leaves of the nearby willows, though
withered and dry from winter, appeared starkly elegant as they dipped
gracefully to touch the water below. Eren took out his standard-issue military
knife, and started cutting off bits of bark.
Levi stared at his subordinate, wondering if perhaps Eren was going crazy.
"What the fuck are you doing, brat?"
"Getting some willow bark for Jean, sir," Eren explained, now cutting off a few
of the smaller willow branches that were within his reach. "My dad often
prescribed willow bark as a painkiller for his patients. If we can make a fire,
I can brew it into tea. Something hot would do us all some good, I think."
"Oh...that's right. Your father was a doctor, wasn't he? I'd almost forgotten."
Levi's head was whirling with the implications of this realization. How much
did Eren know about medicine and healing? Levi himself didn't know much beyond
setting sprained limbs. Since anyone who was seriously wounded out in the field
was usually eaten by a Titan before anyone could try to help them, most
soldiers were taught only the most rudimentary first aid. If Eren could do
anything to make Kirschtein heal up faster, it would make their time stuck out
here a hell of a lot easier. "Jaeger, will you be able to doctor Kirschtein?"
"Huh?" Eren turned to look at Levi. "Well, I'm not really sure...I mean, I used
to tag along with my dad when he went on house calls, and I picked up a few
things along the way, yeah. But I'm no doctor. I mean, I was only twelve when
Shiganshina fell and my dad..." Eren's voice caught in his throat, and he
trailed off, abruptly turning back around and cutting off more strips of bark
with a bit more force than what was strictly necessary.
Realizing that they'd strayed onto a topic Eren clearly wasn't interested in
pursuing, Levi decided to drop the issue. "Whatever. Just do the best you can
with Kirschtein, alright? You probably won't hurt him any worse, anyway." Levi
bent down to pick up a metal container of water. "Help me carry these, we
should be heading back."
-x-
The sun was past its peak in the sky by the time Levi and Eren returned to
their tiny cave. Jean was still asleep inside, his arms and legs wrapped
protectively over his wounded ribs. Levi carefully set the water down in the
snow nearby, and gestured for Eren to do the same. The Corporal leaned down
into the mouth of the cave and gently shook Jean's shoulder. "Oi, Kirschtein.
You alive down there?"
"Nnnnnn..." Jean moaned, amber eyes blinking tiredly open. "Cap'n...sir...'m
cold..."
Levi touched the back of his hand to Jean's forehead ad cheeks, wincing
slightly when he felt the burning skin beneath him. Just when he started
thinking that it was impossible for things to get any worse... "He's got a
fever, brat," Levi said calmly, turning to meet the look of concern on his
subordinate's face. "You'll need to tend to him the best you can."
"O-Okay, Captain Levi," Eren was worrying his lip as he knelt down beside Levi
in order to get a better look at Jean.
Levi got to his feet and brushed the snow from his pants. "I'm going to go and
gather firewood. I'll be back before nightfall, so don't worry."
"Captain Levi, sir!" Eren cried, causing Levi to stop and look over his
shoulder at his subordinate "Um...what about the Titans?"
"Well, we haven't run into any so far, so who knows? Maybe this is an area
that's relatively Titan-free. They're not exactly subtle, though, so I'll hear
one coming long before I see it. So I'll have time to find a place to hide."
Levi was clearly bluffing, and he could tell by the raw concern in Eren's eyes
that the brat knew it, too. Titans were uncannily good at sniffing out humans,
no matter how well-hidden. If Levi did come across a Titan, it wasn't going to
be good. But what else could be done? Levi was practically helpless without
Maneuver Gear. The way he figured it, though, it was better to fight, to
survive, than to simply lay down and wait for death.
"Be careful, sir," Eren said quietly. Levi could hear the worry in his
subordinate's voice, but there was nothing he could say that would assuage it.
So Levi simply nodded before heading off into the woods.
Eren stared after Levi's retreating figure until it was completely swallowed up
amidst the trunks and branches of the trees around them. Then he turned to
crouch down in the cave next to Jean. It was uncomfortable and there wasn't a
lot of room to maneuver, but Eren didn't want to risk aggravating Jean's
injuries by dragging him out into the snow.
"You're not gonna like this, horse-face, but I need to take a look at your
injury," Eren muttered, carefully unbuckling the straps across Jean's chest.
Jean moaned and weakly grabbed at Eren's wrist in a futile attempt to stop him,
but Eren simply sighed and shoved the amber-eyed boy's hand out of the way.
"Hold still, you'll only hurt yourself worse."
Eren rolled up Jean's shirt, causing Jean to hiss as his bare flesh was exposed
to the cold air outside. The skin around Jean's ribs looked awful, mottled blue
and purple with bruising. Eren touched the area as gently as he could, and let
out a long breath he hadn't known he'd been holding upon confirming for himself
that nothing was broken. A broken bone would take a long time to heal, and
they'd all be stuck out in Titan country for a lot longer if that was the case.
"Hang on a sec," Eren muttered, pulling his knife free of its small leather
pouch and sticking it into a small crevice between two rocks for safekeeping.
He ducked outside in order to fill the now empty pouch with a generous handful
of snow. "Brace yourself, asshole, this is gonna sting," Eren muttered, as he
carefully pressed the crude icepack to Jean's bruised skin.
Jean positively yelped in shock at being brought into contact with something
even more cold, and he scrabbled against Eren's hands in a futile attempt to
get the other boy to remove the icepack. Eren sighed in annoyance, one again
pushing Jean's hands out of the way. It was lucky that the amber-eyed boy was
half-delirious, or else Eren might have had to use actual force to subdue him.
"Beeeeerrrrt..." Jean moaned, tossing his head slightly. "Touch me Bert, make
it better. Make the pain go awaaaayyyy."
"You're such a pain, horse-face," Eren muttered. "I'm trying to numb the area
so you won't feel as much pain."
"Ugggghhhh..." Jean moaned again, giving no indication that he'd even heard
what Eren was saying.
"I don't suppose you'd be willing to turn over and lie on your injured side,
hm?" Eren asked dryly. Upon receiving nothing but another moan of "Beeerrrt,"
from Jean, Eren lost what was little patience he had left. He simply rolled
Jean over onto his bruised side, effectively pinning the icepack against the
other boy's injury in the process.
Jean cried out and tried to turn himself back over, but Eren held the amber-
eyed boy's shoulders in place until Jean's struggles subsided. After a few
moments Jean's breathing evened out, becoming slow and regular as he drifted
back into sleep.
Eren let out a deep sigh of relief. He'd have to wake Jean up and get him to
eat a bit later, obviously, but Eren would wait until Corporal Levi came back
to do that. There was no way he wanted to deal with a conscious Jean right now,
and especially not when the amber-eyed boy had just been moaning about their
fellow teammate. Eren hadn't known that Jean felt that way about Bertholdt
before. Smirking slightly, Eren filed that little tidbit of information away to
use as potential blackmail material later.
A loud growl from his own stomach reminded Eren of just how hungry he himself
was. All Survey Corps members carried a few days' rations with them out into
the field, but Eren was fairly certain it wasn't going to last until Jean got
better. He and Levi would have to find some other food source, but Eren wasn't
sure what. Any edible plants that might grow out here would have died by now,
with how frigidly cold and snowy it was. Perhaps they could dig for roots or
something, if they found a piece of ground that wasn't too frozen.
In order to keep himself from worrying any further, Eren dug around in the
large pouch at his waist and pulled out a piece of dry, salted beef, along with
a chunk of equally hard and dry bread. Field rations always tasted like shit,
but Eren was so hungry that he eagerly bit into the food anyway, just to fill
his stomach.
Eren ate just enough to quell the worst of his hunger pains. Although he could
have eaten much more, the turquoise-eyed soldier forced himself to leave the
rest of his food for later. He took a long draught of water from his canteen
instead, and made himself comfortable as best he could, considering the cramped
conditions. There was a scant inch of space between Eren and Jean, which Eren
was doing his very best to ignore.
Eren focused on Jean's breathing, trying hard not to think about anything. He
still couldn't help wondering if Levi's squad was alright. They hadn't seen
hide nor hair of any of them, which made Eren think that the Titan must have
carried him, Levi, and Jean off faster than any of them could stop it. Petra,
Erd, Auruo, and Gunter had probably returned to the Walls and were organizing a
search party right now. There was no way in hell Commander Erwin would let Levi
and Eren die out here. Not Levi, Humanity's Strongest, and Eren, their Last
Hope. Mikasa and Armin were probably chomping at the bit to get out there and
search for Eren.
We'll be alright, Eren thought firmly to himself. I trust Captain Levi. He will
not let us all die out here. Jean will get better, and we will make it back to
the Walls. We're probably not even that far away from them, and it only seems
like we are because of how thick the forest is out here.
He hoped desperately that getting back home would be that simple. But deep
inside his heart, Eren knew that things were never that easy.
Chapter End Notes
     I actually did research on how to treat bruised ribs for this
     chapter, you guys. Let it never be said I don't take my fanfictions
     seriously. ;)
     Willow bark has actually been used by native peoples as a natural
     painkiller. The bark itself used to be (and maybe still is, but don't
     quote me on this) a key ingredient in Aspirin.
     Also, Delirious!Jean is best Jean. XD Also the most fun to write, for
     me at least.
     (The gang will start running into Titans eventually, don't worry. The
     way I figure it, Levi, Eren, and Jean lucked out in one respect -
     they're in an area with relatively few Titans. For now).
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi and Eren go through the arduous process of starting a fire. More
     awkward erections are had.
Chapter Notes
     I really wanted to get this out before Thanksgiving for all of you
     lovely readers. I'm not sure if I'll actually get to write over the
     next few days, since I'll be with relatives and all. WE'LL SEE. I
     shall certainly try my very best to get at least a little writing
     done. :)
     A lot of the survival stuff in this chapter comes from watching
     copious amounts of "Man vs. Wild" with my sister, who thinks Bear
     Grylls is cute. Note that you should probably not use any survival
     tactics you learn from Bear Grylls in a real-life situation, since a
     lot of his show is dramatized for TV. However, I feel that the stuff
     I took is innocuous enough to work in Levi, Eren, and Jean's
     situation.
     (Also, I promise that fever-addled Jean is going away after this
     chapter, and he won't go spouting off about Bertl anymore. Remember,
     he's sick and doesn't really know what he's saying).
See the end of the chapter for more notes
It didn't take Levi long to gather enough wood for a fire. They were in a
forest, after all, and there were enough sticks and branches lying around to
keep Levi, Eren, and Jean warm for years. All of it was wet with snow and ice,
however, which meant that actually starting the fire was going to be a real
bitch. Levi still gathered as much wood as he could, however, bundling it all
together with a few wires from the Maneuver Gear so that he could carry all the
sticks and branches on his back. Hopefully, some of the smaller bits would dry
out if they were kept in the cave overnight, away from the snow. Then perhaps
Levi could start enough of a blaze to at least boil some water, so that Eren
could make Jean some of that willow bark tea. The sooner that brat got better,
after all, the sooner they could all get out of this miserable forest.
Just thinking about having to stay out here in the wilderness while Jean's ribs
healed caused Levi's gut to constrict with anxiety. He couldn't show Eren just
how on edge he was, however. Panicking in these kinds of situations only made
it more likely that you would die, and the brat had very nearly been
overwhelmed by panic earlier. Growing up on the streets since he could walk,
however, Levi knew the importance of hiding his emotions behind a cool and
collected mask, even when everything around him was going to shit. As their
commanding officer, Eren and Jean were Levi's responsibility. I can't - I won't
- let them die out here, dammit. Not in a shithole place like this.
But the fact remained that Levi had no fucking idea where the hell they were.
Nothing about his surroundings looked even the slightest bit familiar, and it
didn't help that the woods were a monochrome black and white for as far as Levi
could see. Wherever that fucking Titan had taken Levi, Eren, and Jean, it was
far beyond the supply depot they had originally been heading for. Not to
mention, Levi felt entirely too helpless without his 3D Maneuver Gear. It had
always been a human soldier's only real defense against the Titans. Levi felt
naked and vulnerable without it, despite the blade swinging from his hip.
Without Maneuver Gear, getting to a high enough vantage point to try and figure
out just where the hell they were was going to be a real bitch.
He hadn't seen any Titans so far, but Levi knew that things would go south when
one actually appeared. In his experience, it was always when, not if, a Titan
showed up. It was uncanny, the way the damn beasts were able to track down
human prey so well. Not even Hanji had figured out how the Titans were able to
do that yet. The fact remained that if a Titan showed up, the three of them
would either need to find a place to hide, or if that wasn't an option, Eren
would need to transform. Which was something Levi wasn't keen on ordering the
brat to do, since the little information they knew about the brat's Titan-
shifting abilities couldn't even fill up a thimble. A single transformation
left Eren drained for at least two days afterwards, unable to do much of
anything beyond eat and sleep. The last thing Levi wanted was to have to take
care of two brats who couldn't move.
Not to mention, Levi couldn't help thinking to himself, Eren might lose control
of his transformation. If that happens...I'll have to kill him. I won't have a
choice.
Levi cursed under his breath as he hefted the last bundle of sticks onto his
back, turning to head back for the cave, where Eren and Jean were. He wondered
when the hell he'd gotten so attached to Eren, that shitty little brat with the
too-bright eyes, who burned with a level of passionate intensity that Levi had
previously thought impossible to attain. The thought of killing his subordinate
filled Levi with a sick, cold dread, causing the Corporal to shiver and pull
the hood of his cloak up over his head. Fuck this shit, he thought sourly. I
just want to go home, take a nice long bath, and sleep for the next week.
-x-
It was nearly dark by the time Levi returned to the cave. The forest was
blanketed in a hazy purple twilight that seemed to blur the edges of the trees
into fuzzy, dark shapes. The thick blanket of snow on the ground was almost
glowing in the dim light that remained. Had Levi not been stuck out here, he
probably would have thought it beautiful. Now all he could think was that at
least he didn't need to worry about Titans at night. Just wild animals.
Thrilling.
Jean was sleeping soundly inside the cave, with Eren lying next to him. For a
moment Levi thought the turquoise-eyed soldier was sleeping as well, but Eren's
eyes flew open as soon as the Corporal crouched down to shift the bundles of
wood off of his back. They caught the fading light and glittered like two
bright, mysterious jewels. For a moment Levi and Eren didn't move, merely
looked at each other. A silent message seemed to pass between the two of them
at that moment, communicated solely by their eyes.
I'm glad you're OK. I'm glad that you're safe.
"Captain," Eren said softly, quietly climbing out of the cave so as not to wake
Jean, and kneeling on the snow next to Levi. Jean shifted slightly and muttered
something unintelligible in his sleep, but didn't wake up. "You're back. Did
you find anything out there?"
"Other than wood, no," Levi muttered. "It's just trees for as far as I can see.
We'll have to figure out some way of getting to higher ground, so that we can
scope out our surroundings. In the meantime, help me get these bundles of
sticks into the cave. They won't do us any fucking good if they're wet, so we
need to dry them out first." As he spoke, Levi lowered the first bundle down,
being careful to avoid Jean's head. The cave was so tiny that it looked like
Levi, Jean, and Eren were going to spend the night half-buried in sticks and
twigs.
Levi's hands brushed up against Eren's, as the turquoise-eyed soldier picked up
a second bundle. Even through the material of Eren's gloves, the brat felt
abnormally warm. He practically radiated heat due to his Titan-shifting
abilities. Privately, Levi wished he had that kind of internal heat source.
Even wrapped in layers of thick clothing, he felt like he was freezing his ass
off.
And that was when Levi had an idea.
"Sir?" Eren asked warily. "Why are you looking at me like that...?"
-x-
"Captain Levi...are you sure this will work?" Eren asked, as Levi packed the
last bundle of sticks around his body. Eren currently looked like some strange
kind of bright-eyed tree, with bundles of sticks packed as close to his body as
Levi could possibly get them without hurting the brat.
"Trust me, Jaeger," Levi said. "You're the warmest thing around here for miles.
Whatever weird Titan ability it is that keeps you so warm, it'll dry these
sticks out in no time."
"If you say so, sir..." Eren still looked doubtful, but he nevertheless stayed
in place atop one of the boulders that made up part of their cave, which Levi
had cleared the snow off of. He almost looked like he was growing out of it,
what with all the sticks around him, like some kind of wild spirit of the
forest.
Levi snorted to himself. Spirit of the forest? He really was getting too poetic
about the brat lately.
"Uhhhhnnnn..." Down in the cave, Jean was waking up. "Can someone help me get
out of this fuckin' cave?" He called out, in a voice still thick with sleep. "I
gotta pee..."
Levi sighed harshly. Fuck my life, he thought. "Wait there, Jaeger. I'll go
help Kirschtein take a piss."
-x-
Half an hour later, the wood was almost completely dry. Levi was now faced with
the arduous task of having to start a fire with nothing but two rocks that he'd
picked up earlier while gathering wood, and a small pile of dried pine needles
for tinder. "Fucking shit!" The Corporal swore, after the sparks that formed
from the rocks striking against each other failed to catch on the tinder for
what felt like the millionth time.
It didn't help that Eren was crouching only a few feet away, silently looking
on with those big-ass eyes of his. "Stop fucking watching me, Jaeger," Levi
barked out, perhaps a bit more harshly than he'd intended. "Go in the cave with
Kirschtein and wait for me there." He greatly resisted the urge to fling the
rocks at the nearest tree after yet another failed attempt at starting a fire.
"Captain Levi, would you allow me to try?" Eren asked.
At this point, Levi figured that anything had to be better than sitting in the
cold, wet snow all night, hitting two rocks together and failing miserably at
getting a spark to catch into fire. "Knock yourself out, Jaeger," Levi
grumbled, tossing the two rocks to the ground in front of Eren. If the brat
couldn't manage it they were going to be in for another cold, wet night on
Levi's part. He didn't trust himself to sleep too close to Eren again, after
how he'd felt last night.
The turquoise-eyed soldier picked up the rocks, holding one in each hand. He
looked at them for a few long moments, brow furrowed in concentration. Just as
Levi was about to ask his subordinate just what the hell was so fascinating
about a pair of rocks, Eren readjusted his grip and struck the rocks together.
They made a hard, sharp sound as they made contact with each other, and a
shower of sparks fell atop the pine needles. A puff of smoke rose into the air,
and Levi could see a few embers starting to catch on the dry needles.
Ignoring his immediate reaction to stare at his subordinate in amazement, Levi
immediately scooped up the small pile of tinder, cradling it in both hands as
he blew at the pine needles. With each harsh breath of air Levi sent over the
small embers, they glowed a little brighter, and after a minute or so a small
blaze had sprung up. Levi quickly dropped the now flaming tinder among the
sticks he had arranged earlier. The flames caught quickly, and after ten
minutes or so of Eren and Levi fanning the flames with their arms and poking at
the wood with long sticks, they managed to get a decent fire going.
Levi went to get Jean's canteen, refilling it with fresh water from the stream.
He handed it to Eren, who dropped a few pieces of willow bark into the canteen,
along with some fresh pine needles. "For flavor," he explained, when Levi
looked at him curiously.
Although the Corporal had his doubts about whether or not pine needles could be
considered a "flavor," he added a few from Eren's pouch to his own canteen
anyway. Eren had already surprised him once so far when he'd managed to get the
fire going, perhaps the brat would do it again.
For several minutes the two of them were quiet, basking in the warm glow of the
fire. To Levi the flames seemed uncannily beautiful, leaping and flickering in
chaotic patterns against the night sky, occasionally throwing up a few glowing
embers that were quickly lost to the wind. Just being able to warm his cold
hands and feet, and to let his damp clothes dry out, felt like heaven right
now. Levi could feel energy and life returning to his cold limbs by the moment.
It was the best feeling in the world right now.
Levi glanced over at Eren. His subordinate seemed less comforted by the heat of
the fire, probably because he'd already been so warm already. Eren was gazing
intently at the dancing flames as if they held all the secrets to the universe,
his brow furrowed with worry. It didn't take a genius to guess what Eren was
worried about.
"That was a good job getting the fire started, Jaeger," Levi said, eager to
distract the turquoise-eyed soldier from his gloomy thoughts. "How did you
manage to do that, anyway?"
Eren looked up at his commanding officer, and Levi could see the bright spark
in his eyes at being complimented. Really, the brat was like a puppy sometimes,
the way he thrived off of the slightest praise from Levi. Thinking about it
made Levi's chest feel strangely warm. "I had to start fires like that when I
was a child in Shiganshina, sir," Eren explained. "The winters could get pretty
bad out there, and sometimes we'd run short on matches."
Levi nodded. He'd had to start fires without matches a few times as well,
living out on the streets as he had for such a long time. However, Levi had
usually started a blaze in trash cans, where there was almost always a bit of
grease-soaked paper or cloth to help the flame spread. Starting a fire from
scratch like Eren did was impressive, and Levi told him so. "You've done well,
brat."
"Thank you, sir," Eren said quietly. A light blush bloomed along his cheeks,
and Eren quickly turned his gaze back to the fire, embarrassed. Levi decided
against speaking further, as he didn't want to cause Eren to be uncomfortable.
Instead, he turned his attention to the three canteens they had placed by the
fire, the skins of which were now pleasantly warm to the touch. He would have
to wake Jean up soon and get the boy to eat and drink a bit. He didn't need to
be dehydrated on top of everything else, after all.
Eren, meanwhile, was now looking at his commanding officer out of the corner of
his eye. He couldn't help but think that Levi looked...well, beautiful was
really the only word for it. Highlighted in the flickering firelight, the
Corporal's eyes were like molten steel, able to crush and burn and forcefully
shape the world around them into something beautiful. Although he was small,
Levi's entire body was made of lean, compact muscle. The man didn't have so
much as an ounce of excess fat on him. Eren found his eyes drawn upwards, to
Levi's hair. He wondered if it was as soft as it looked, and the turquoise-eyed
soldier found himself wanting to run his fingers through the Corporal's short,
dark locks, and over the shorn part of his undercut.
Eren's eyes moved further down, over Levi's sharp nose, the angled slope of his
jaw, and down to the man's hands. Levi had taken his gloves off for the first
time since they'd wound up in this forest, and was now holding them out over
the fire. Eren couldn't help but admire the battle-roughened skin, the calluses
on Levi's fingertips from the man's frequent use of Maneuver Gear and blades.
This roughness might be a strange thing to admire for some, but for Eren it
showed that Levi was a warrior, a man who had fought and killed scores of
Titans in order to survive. A man who had dragged himself up from the dregs of
the criminal underworld, to become Humanity's Strongest Soldier.
He wondered what it would feel like, to have Levi's rough hands running all
over his skin, running over all Eren's most sensitive places. He would moan and
cry out as Levi touched him with his warrior's hands, his steel eyes cutting
into Eren's soul as easily as the Corporal's blades cut open a Titan's nape.
Shaping Eren into a weapon, a strong and powerful weapon that was capable of
killing all the Titans, every last one...
Levi's eyes suddenly shifted over to Eren, and the turquoise-eyed soldier felt
his face heat up as those steely eyes met his own. It wasn't the first time
Eren had thought of his commanding officer this way - many times down in the
dungeon at the old Survey Corps HQ, before this expedition, he had touched
himself to his mind's image of Levi's face and body, and had come with Levi's
name on his lips. But now, when they were trapped out in Titan country with a
high chance of dying, when Jean was injured and sick, now was not the time to
be thinking about Levi like this.
To his increasing embarrassment, Eren noticed that his pants felt awfully tight
around the region of his crotch.
"Jaeger?" Levi asked, concerned. "Are you alright?"
"Fine!" Eren squeaked out, causing Levi to arch a disbelieving eyebrow at him.
The turquoise-eyed soldier cleared his throat, mentally forcing himself to calm
down. "I mean...I'm fine, sir," he said, in a more normal voice. "I just
realized that I, erm, need to wake Jean up! He needs to eat something and drink
the tea, or else he won't get better. It should be hot enough now, right?"
"Yes..." Levi said, his voice now laced with confusion.
"Great, then I'll go wake him up!" Eren practically leapt to his feet in his
haste to escape the situation, going into the cave to retrieve a rather woozy
and disoriented Jean. Although Levi still had no idea what it was that had
caused Eren to act so strangely, he put it aside in order to deal with Jean.
The amber-eyed soldier's health was more pressing than whatever strange
emotional fits Eren was having.
Eren spent the next hour fussing rather unnecessarily over Jean, holding his
comrade's canteen steady while he drank, and tearing some of Jean's rations
into small pieces for him to eat. "Will this make Bert love me?" Jean slurred
as Eren helped him drink some of the willow tea, clearly still disoriented.
"Yeah, yeah, horse-face, just drink up," Eren muttered. "Fuck, just when I
thought you couldn't get any more annoying, it turns out you have some weird
crush on Bertholdt, of all people."
Levi smirked slightly. Eren's bedside manner left quite a lot to be desired,
certainly. The Corporal lifted his own canteen to his mouth, taking a swig of
the warm liquid. He made a face as soon as the "tea" hit the back o his throat.
"Blech. Tastes like an animal took a shit in this," he mumbled. Eren, who was
now shoving bits of jerky into Jean's mouth, didn't hear.
That night, Eren made sure that Jean's body was between his and Levi's when
they went to sleep. The three of them were still huddled close together for
warmth, but Eren felt that he would be less likely to get an erection when
pressed up against Jean's lanky frame as opposed to Levi's lithe, muscular one.
Thinking about his comrade's stupid, horsey face was also helpful, in terms of
keeping Eren's dick flaccid.
Still, it took Eren a long time to fall asleep. And when he finally did manage
to drift off, his dreams were filled with images of Levi's rough hands and
sharp eyes, caressing Eren's body with gentle but firm touches...
-x-
The next morning, Eren opened his eyes to rays of harsh winter sunlight
filtering down into the cave. Jean was still, unsurprisingly, fast asleep. Upon
leaning over and touching his forehead, however, Eren was pleased to discover
that the amber-eyed soldier's skin felt much cooler than it had yesterday.
After another few days of rest, Jean would hopefully be able to walk well
enough for them to head back home.
Then Eren discovered that Levi wasn't in the cave with them, and he was
immediately wide awake. In the process, he banged his head on the uneven, rocky
surface of the cave's ceiling. "Owww..." the turquoise-eyed soldier grumbled,
rubbing at his head for a moment before crawling outside. What if something bad
had happened to Levi? Had he wandered off in the middle of the night? Had a
Titan eaten him? What if there were Titans outside right now? The Titan that
had brought them here seemed to be gone now, but what if it had come back?
Eren's racing thoughts were silenced, however, when he saw Levi crouched by the
ashes of their fire last night. The man was perfectly safe and sound, currently
sharpening a long, thin stick into a point with his knife. For a moment, Eren
was so relieved that his whole body went slack. "Good morning, sir!" He called
out, exiting the cave completely. "What are you doing?"
By the Corporal's feet, Eren saw a long, flexible branch, which had been bent
into a curved shape and notched at both ends. Strung between the notches was a
thin wire, which he recognized as being from the 3D Maneuver Gear. A bow? Eren
wondered.
Levi's sharp eyes looked up and met Eren's. "Morning Jaeger," he greeted,
putting the stick he'd been working on down as he stood up. "Come with me.
We're going hunting."
Chapter End Notes
     Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone! Stay safe and eat lots of turkey.
     :)
     HUGE thanks to everyone who leaves comments and kudos. I love all of
     you readers, and your kind words make me very, very happy. :D *kisses
     your faces*
***** Interlude 1: Jean and Bertholdt *****
Chapter Summary
     Jean reminisces about the aftermath of Trost.
Chapter Notes
     Since there's a lot of focus on Eren and Levi in this fic, I decided
     to include a few shorter "interlude" chapters that will focus more on
     Jean's side of things. And in this one, we learn the origin of Jean's
     crush on everyone's favorite Colossal Titan.
     I feel like everyone is going to hate me by the time they get to the
     end of this chapter... e.e
     Enjoy~
See the end of the chapter for more notes
The days immediately following Trost had been a nightmare for Jean. The fight
to regain the district had been ten times worse than Jean could ever have
imagined. Not that he'd ever given much thought to what actually fighting
Titans would be like, though. He and Marco were going to join the Military
Police, after all. They were going to live happy, safe lives inside of Wall
Sina. Together.
Together...
Jean had searched high and low for Marco after the fighting was done, after
Eren had sealed the breach in Wall Rose and the last remaining Titans still
inside the district had been dispatched. He had been certain that Marco was
still alive. Marco was too good to die, too strong, too cheerful. Marco had in
many ways been the emotional backbone for the boys of the 104th Trainee Squad.
He was always the first to offer a congratulatory slap on the back for a job
well done, or a few encouraging words of support if someone was feeling down.
Whether it was a shoulder to cry on, a cheer for success, or a cool head to
calm raging tempers, Marco had been there. He had always known exactly what
needed to be done in any given situation.
To not have him around now was heartbreaking for Jean. Less than a week ago, he
and Marco had been curled up together in his bunk, sharing kisses and talking
in hushed voices about what life would be like behind Wall Sina. The two of
them were going to live in the lap of luxury. Marco was excited about getting
to be close to the King, of course. Jean was looking forward to the great food
they would get to eat, and the warm and comfortable beds they would get to
sleep in. "Don't you ever think about anything besides food and sleep, Jean?"
Marco had laughed. Jean had grinned as well, before leaning in to kiss his
boyfriend's lips once more.
"Yeah, I think about this one idiot and his stupid freckles a lot."
The amber-eyed soldier had wandered the streets of Trost for hours, until it
was pitch dark outside and he could barely see two feet in front of his face.
Jean had yelled Marco's name until his voice gave way to a hoarse whimper.
Around every bend, Jean had expected Marco to appear - tired, of course, but
with his usual big smile that was reserved just for Jean. And Jean would hold
Marco close, and hug him, and kiss him fiercely, and reassure him that they
would never, ever have to see another Titan again. The Military Police didn't
have to deal with Titans, after all. Marco's face would be the last thing Jean
would see before he went to sleep at night, and he'd wake up every morning to
Marco's big, sweet brown eyes and cute little freckles. Life would be perfect.
Somehow, Jean had made it back to the Trost town hall, which the army was using
as their temporary base of operations. He sat in a dazed stupor until dawn, not
registering much besides the dull gray stones of the floor beneath his feet.
The next morning, a cold dread had settled in the pit of Jean's stomach when he
saw Marco's name on the missing persons list that was nailed to the wall right
next to the door. Everyone knew that if a soldier was declared missing, it
really meant that they had probably been eaten by a Titan and no one had seen
it. To be a missing soldier was to be as good as dead.
Jean had refused to give up, however. There was no way Marco could be dead when
he'd placed in the top ten among their graduating class! Perhaps the freckled
boy was lying grievously injured somewhere, pinned under the rubble of a fallen
building. Jean's search took on a new kind of urgency, as his mind filled with
images of Marco, lying bleeding and helpless in an alleyway, begging for Jean
to come and save him. So Jean volunteered for the duties that would allow him
the most opportunity to search the streets. Namely, this involved collecting
the mangled, splattered corpses of the soldiers who had died in the fighting,
but hadn't been eaten. It was far from a pleasant duty, but since none of the
bodies were Marco's, Jean was able to manage. Once he found Marco, everything
would be OK again. It had to be.
Then, Jean finally found Marco.
The amber-eyed boy had been cleaning up after dead soldiers, as usual, only
this time he was assisting a woman from one of the medical units. The woman was
there to identify and make a count of the corpses. With so many dead bodies
around, sickness was starting to spread throughout the district. So it was
important to get everything cleaned up as soon as possible.
He was dragging a body around a corner by its ankle, planning to dump it atop a
nearby pile of corpses that were going to be burned later, when he saw it.
Marco, slumped against the wall of a dilapidated old house. The freckled boy
hadn't been eaten by a Titan, but he was dead all the same. Behind Marco's body
was a huge splatter of blood, stretching at least halfway up the wall. It had
long dried into an ugly dark brown color, bits of it flaking off and getting
blown away in the breeze.
The worst part, however, were Marco's eyes. They were wide open and staring
straight ahead at nothing, resembling cold, glassy brown marbles more than an
actual human's eyes. His mouth was set in a grim line below them, and all Jean
could think was that it looked absolutely nothing like Marco. Marco's eyes had
always been alive, dancing and shimmering with some kind of emotion, whether
happy or sad. His mouth had almost always been smiling, which made Marco's
freckles stand out even more. This...this blank, expressionless corpse was not
Marco.
The woman from the medical unit was at Jean's side, tugging on his sleeve and
asking if he knew who this person was. Jean was just barely able to choke out
Marco's name in a strangled whisper, before he started running away from the
cold, dead stare of his boyfriend's body. Jean wanted nothing more than to put
as much distance as possible between himself and Marco's corpse. Marco, who
would never laugh again, never smile again, never look at Jean with soft eyes
while running his fingers through the amber-eyed boy's short, messy hair at
night...
Somehow Jean made it back to the town hall, where he collapsed in the middle of
an empty hallway, his breath coming out in choked sobs. Tears and snot were
running down his face in messy streams. All Jean could think about was that he
couldn't save Marco in time. He hadn't been strong enough or fast enough to
save the person he loved most in this world. Marco had died alone, bleeding out
from his wounds on a shitty battleground. Jean hadn't even been there to say
good-bye.
-x-
Jean had no idea how long he'd simply laid there, unmoving, in that hallway. It
could have been hours, or days. It didn't matter. The next thing he remembered
was a hand gently shaking his shoulder. "Jean? You need to get up and have
something to eat now. Everyone's worried about you."
Jean looked up and saw Bertholdt, leaning over him with a concerned expression
on his thin face. He was a bit surprised that it was Bert of all people who had
come to get him. The taller boy had always been pretty quiet and withdrawn. He
and Jean had never really spoken much. Actually, Bert had never spoken to
anyone much outside of Reiner and Annie. Yet here he was now, holding out a
hand to help Jean up.
Jean batted Bertholdt's hand away. "Leave me alone," he grumbled. "Just let me
stay here."
Bertholdt sighed loudly, before bending down and digging his hands in under
Jean's armpits, hauling his comrade up to his feet like a sack of potatoes.
Jean opened his mouth to protest this rough treatment, but Bertholdt spoke
first. "You know Jean, I lost someone very close to me, when I was just a kid.
My best friend. He died right in front of my eyes, and I...I couldn't save
him." Bertholdt's voice went quiet, his olive green eyes filled with a pain
that was similar to Jean's own. It was clear that this event was still painful
for Bertholdt to talk about, even though it had happened a long time ago.
"I know how you feel, Jean," Bertholdt said quietly, pulling the amber-eyed
soldier into a brief but comforting hug. "It sucks."
All Jean could do for a moment was stare. Marco's loss still hurt terribly, but
Bertholdt's words had managed to make Jean feel just a tiny bit lighter. It
helped to know that he was not alone in his grief. "Thank you, Bert," Jean
said, his quiet voice filled with sincerity.
The corners of Bertholdt's mouth twitched upwards in a rare smile. "You're
welcome. Now come on, we should get some dinner before it gets cold." He
reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a handkerchief. Well, it
looked more like an old rag than a handkerchief, but at least it was clean.
"You should clean up your face too."
Jean followed Bertholdt to the mess hall, wiping his face off as they went. And
the first time since the battle for Trost, the amber-eyed soldier felt like
things really were going to be OK.
Ever since that day, Jean Kirschtein had harbored an embarrassing crush for
Bertholdt Fubar.
Chapter End Notes
     In case it wasn't clear, the childhood friend Bert's talking about is
     Berik. ;)
     Thank you so, so much to everyone who's left kudos and comments.
     You're all too kind, and I love each and every one of you.
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi and Eren go hunting. There are some touchy-feely moments, and
     the boys continue to dance around their feelings for each other.
Chapter Notes
     TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains a hunting scene. If you aren't
     OK with: descriptions of skinning and cleaning out a dead animal,
     descriptions of blood and guts, and descriptions of shooting an
     animal with a bow and arrow, this chapter isn't for you.
     That being said, I have taken liberties with the bow and arrow scene.
     Levi and Eren are using really crappy "arrows," since they don't have
     any feathers available to fletch them with. And my own experiences
     with archery are limited to one unit I took in gym class back in high
     school, which I was not very good at. I don't think anything is too
     unbelievable, but if anyone who knows more about archery and/or
     hunting has feedback for me, please let me know!
     Anyway, enjoy!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Have you ever gone hunting before, Jaeger?" Levi asked, as the two of them
walked further into the woods. Eren practically jumped at the Corporal's words.
He'd been feeling on edge since the two of them had set out on this little
hunting trip, around an hour ago. The trees in this part of the forest grew
tall and close together, their branches interweaving to create a kind of
skeletal canopy across the sky. Until now, Eren and Levi hadn't spoken at all.
The only sound had been the crunching of their footsteps across the snow, and
the gentle rubbing of tree branches against each other in the light wind.
"No sir," Eren replied. "My family was poor, yeah, but we weren't that poor. We
could afford to buy food at the marketplace. Shiganshina wasn't so out of the
way that we couldn't afford trips into town, after all." Eren laughed
nervously, and winced almost immediately afterwards. Idiot! He berated himself
silently. First I get a weird boner just from looking at Captain Levi, and now
I'm babbling like a total moron in front of him! Way to keep it cool, Jaeger.
"Hm," Levi muttered thoughtfully. "Well, it can't be helped, I suppose. Not
very many people actually hunt wild animals for food anymore. I'll just have to
teach you. If we're going to survive out here, you'll need to learn some things
that the idiots in basic training probably never got around to teaching you.
Kirschtein too, once he gets better."
"Of course, sir," Eren said quietly. Inwardly, his stomach was in knots. He was
always slightly nervous whenever he trained with Levi, constantly striving to
impress the man and worrying that he was falling short. The last thing Eren
wanted was for Levi, Humanity's Strongest, to think that Eren was unfit to be
in the military. Now, though, there was the added concern of getting hard in
front of Levi. Although Eren had gotten himself off to thoughts of Levi
touching him on several occasions, he had never actually gotten an erection
when the Corporal could actually see it. Eren had trained only with Levi back
at the old Survey Corps HQ, but there were always other soldiers around them,
hurrying to and fro as they worked on any number of tasks. Being alone, truly
alone with Levi, with not a single other person (save for Jean) around for
miles, was a completely new situation. And it was more than a little terrifying
for Eren.
As they went along, Eren noticed that Levi would reach up every now and again
to break a low-hanging branch at a ninety-degree angle, or to tear a long strip
of bark off a tree trunk, or to kick a few small rocks together into a pile.
The Corporal had done the same thing yesterday as well, when he and Eren had
found the stream. At the time, Eren had been worrying about finding a way home,
and hadn't really focused on the Corporal's behavior. Now, however, he was
curious. Was this how Levi let off aggression when he wasn't in combat?
"Um, Captain Levi, why do you keep doing that?" Eren asked. "Breaking branches,
and peeling off bark, I mean."
"I'm marking our path," Levi replied, "so that we can find our way back to the
cave later. Everything in this forest looks the same, so it'd be easy to get
lost if I didn't distinguish our route somehow."
"Oh," Eren was surprised. It was such a simple strategy, yet Levi had
successfully used it to map their way through the forest yesterday. Eren was
impressed, and more than a little bit confused as well. How exactly did Levi
know how to do all of this survival stuff? Admittedly, Eren didn't know much
about what Levi had done before joining the Survey Corps, aside from Petra
telling him that Levi used to be a criminal. Did criminals typically know how
to survive in the wilderness? Eren had no idea, but he didn't ask Levi. From
the way Petra had sounded, it seemed like the Corporal didn't like to talk
about his past.
Levi held up his hand for them to stop when they arrived at a small clearing.
"There are tracks here," he murmured, gesturing at several sets of paw prints
running through the snow at their feet. The prints were small, probably
belonging to a rabbit or squirrel. Levi had been hoping for something a little
bigger, but decided that it was worth sticking around to try and hunt whatever
animal had come through here anyway. Eren didn't even know how to hunt in the
first place, so it was probably best to practice killing a small animal instead
of a big one for the brat's first time. Baby steps and all that.
"Come on, brat," Levi said, taking Eren's arm and pulling him behind the trunk
of a large tree at the edge of the clearing. "We'll wait here until something
shows up."
"Sir?" Eren whispered, as the two of them crouched low behind the tree trunk.
"Are you sure that whatever animal was here will come back...? I mean, what if
it was just passing through here?"
Levi sighed slightly, reminding himself that Eren had grown up in a fairly
urban area. Therefore, the brat had no idea that the questions he was asking
were incredibly obvious. "Use your eyes, Jaeger. There're a bunch of different
sets of tracks around here, which probably means that animals either live
around here or have a food source nearby. Now be quiet, or you'll scare the
damn things away when they show up."
They waited for what felt like hours. For Eren, who was ridiculously impatient
even at the best of times, it felt like torture. Crouching in the snow and
remaining quiet for long periods was definitely not his forte. At some point,
Eren's legs started to ache from staying in one position for so long. When he
tried to shift his position slightly in order to alleviate the discomfort, Eren
slipped and fell on his butt in the snow. The turquoise-eyed soldier blushed
redder than a tomato under the force of Levi's glare as he picked himself up.
Levi had crouched perfectly still this entire time, and didn't look even
slightly uncomfortable. Eren had no idea how the Corporal managed it - but then
again, he'd also been making a concerted effort to not look too closely at Levi
so far.
Finally, just as Eren was worrying that his thighs were going to give out on
him, there was a slight crunching of snow, and a rabbit popped into view from
out behind a thicket of dry brown underbrush. It was a good-sized rabbit, too,
with soft brown fur and large, powerful haunches. Eren wondered if it would be
enough for Levi, Jean, and himself to all get a meal out of tonight. The rabbit
looked like it might just be big enough to manage it.
Levi silently got to his feet, tugging Eren up along with him. The turquoise-
eyed soldier felt the bow Levi had made, as well as one of the crude arrows,
pressed into his hands. He tried very hard to suppress the pleasant tingles
that shot down his spine at having Levi's body only a scant inch away from his
own. Levi had never been this close before when the two of them had trained
back at the old Survey Corps HQ. The Corporal hadn't gotten physically close to
Eren at all, save to chain him to his bed in the dungeon at night, since Eren's
military trial. And that closeness had been anything but sexual in nature. Last
night's revelations concerning just how attracted Eren was to his commanding
officer certainly weren't helping to calm his arousal, either. Eren felt a
slight flush heat up his cheeks, which he desperately hoped he could blame on
the cold.
Levi leaned in to whisper at Eren's ear, sending another wave of tingly shivers
down the turquoise-eyed soldier's spine. "We need to move quickly, before our
dinner gets away. Follow my orders exactly, Jaeger. I'm going to give you a
crash course in hunting with a bow.
"First, stand with your legs shoulder-width apart." Eren did so, earning a
brief nod of approval from Levi. "Now move your body to the side, like so."
Levi's hands moved to Eren's hips, carefully positioning Eren so that his body
was angled sideways, with Eren's head still facing forward. Levi's hands felt
warm through his gloves, and the taller boy couldn't help but imagine the
Corporal's hands on other, more sensitive parts of his body. "Good. Keep your
back straight." Levi's hand went to the small of Eren's back, causing his
subordinate to straighten his posture.
"Line the arrow up like so," Levi had moved to touching Eren's hands now,
guiding the turquoise-eyed soldier's fingers into the proper positions around
the bowstring, gently moving the crudely sharpened end of the arrow into place.
Eren kept his eyes fixed firmly on the bow, on the rabbit still burrowing about
in the snow only a few feet away. Anywhere but at Levi.
"Now pull the string back all the way," Levi murmured. "Keep your arm up."
Gentle fingertips touched Eren's elbow, preventing his arm from slanting
downwards.
"Be sure to aim properly, Jaeger. Take the time to line up the shot; you aren't
getting another one." Eren focused all of his attention on the rabbit, lining
the arrow up so that the point aimed right at the creature's side. He felt
surrounded by Levi, close enough to feel the heat of the Corporal's skin
against his own body. Eren could practically feel Levi's breath against him.
Levi's fingers were still pressed against Eren's body, keeping his elbow and
hip in the proper position. And Eren couldn't help but think, deep down, this
was what he wanted. For the Corporal, whom Eren felt was much stronger than he
was, to mold him into a weapon. Into a fighter worthy of saving humanity, of
avenging all those who had already been lost, who would still be lost in the
never-ending fight against the Titans...
It was with these thoughts racing through his mind that Eren let the arrow fly.
For a moment, it seemed the only sound in the entire forest was the high-
pitched whoosh the projectile made as it sped away from the bow.
There was a loud squeal from the rabbit as the arrow made contact. It struck
hard and deep, driving into the flesh just above the animal's haunch. A spray
of blood shot up from the wound as the animal collapsed on its side, emitting
loud cries as it flailed its limbs about in the snow.
"Excellent shot, Jaeger," Levi said, clapping Eren on the shoulder as he
quickly moved forward, striding across the clearing to the wounded rabbit. For
a moment, Eren just stood there, unmoving, staring after the Corporal's
retreating form. The sudden absence of Levi from his side, after he had been so
close for those last few moments, felt a bit like a splash of cold water to the
face.
"Well? Aren't you coming?" Levi called over his shoulder. Eren shook his head
slightly to clear it, and hurried after him.
Cleaning the rabbit took some time. Levi insisted that they clean the animal
right then and there, instead of back at the cave. "Cleaning an animal is messy
business. As long as we're sleeping in that cave, I don't want any blood and
guts around. That's disgusting," he'd said. So Eren had knelt alongside Levi in
the snow and watched as the Corporal used his knife to slice the rabbit's belly
open with nearly surgical precision. A few more quick, graceful cuts, and the
animal's skin was lying beside it in a bloody little pile.
Blood and guts were pooling out of the animal's corpse, staining the snow
beneath a garish crimson. Looking at it made Eren feel a little ill, but any
potential nausea was trumped by the turquoise-eyed soldier's determination to
not fuck up in front of Levi. Following the Corporal's instructions, Eren
removed his gloves and cloak and rolled up the sleeves of his short jacket,
grimacing as the cold air bit against his bare skin. Then Eren was wrist-deep
inside the carcass alongside Levi, helping the Corporal to remove the rabbit's
internal organs.
The sun was past its peak by the time Levi and Eren finished cleaning the last
of the guts from the rabbit. Levi carefully packed the meat and skin into one
of the 3D Maneuver Gear pieces that he was using as a makeshift container. The
Corporal couldn't help but make a face at just how damn messy everything was,
and especially cleaning out the damn rabbit. Levi bent down to wash his hands
in the snow as best he could, giving Eren a sharp look in order to make sure
that his subordinate did the same. He'd be damned if the brat went around the
rest of the day with bloodstained hands.
Levi was trying very hard not to think about how dirty he was getting out here.
Not being able to bathe for a few days at a time was something he put up with,
seeing as how the Survey Corps spent extended periods of time outside the Walls
on expeditions. Usually Levi at least had a change of clothes with him on
expeditions, but in this case his spare clothes had been strapped to the back
of his horse, which was long gone now. Levi let out a few choice curses under
his breath at the thought. He supposed that at some point they'd all have to
wash their clothes and bathe in the stream. The water would be frigid and
highly unpleasant, but if the three of them had a fire going nearby and were
only in the water for a short period, it would probably be alright.
However, Levi had a more pressing problem at the moment than just getting
dirty. Namely, Eren. The brat had been completely focused on Levi all day. The
Corporal hadn't missed the way Eren had been sneaking peeks at him as they
walked, out of the corner of his eye when he thought Levi wasn't looking. The
brat's body had been extremely tense all day long - it was clear in the
jumpiness of Eren's movements. Levi had become a master at reading body
language after his years of living on the streets. He had to be, or else he
would have been shot by some rival thug carrying a hidden gun years ago.
Not to mention the way Eren had reacted when Levi had touched him earlier, in
order to get him into the correct position for taking a shot at the rabbit. The
brat had gone stiff as a board the moment Levi had laid a hand on him, his
breathing rough and uneven. If Levi was going to be completely honest with
himself, it had actually been a little arousing, to make Eren react like that
to his touch. Levi hadn't been able to help getting just a bit closer to his
subordinate than he had to in order to teach Eren how to fire a bow.
The problem with all of this was that it appeared Eren was attracted to him.
Levi had suspected this before they had left on the mission. The brat had
always seemed a bit too focused on Levi for his feelings to be simple hero
worship. However, Levi had chosen not to talk to Eren about it. In part, it was
because their days had been full of training, and preparing for Eren's first
expedition outside the Walls. And of course Hanji had always been dragging the
brat off for some experiment or another. There hadn't been time for romantic
liaisons.
More importantly, it was because Levi didn't want to hurt Eren. The two of them
were both highly important assets to the Survey Corps and to humanity in
general, after all. As such, they had both seen more than their share of
battle, and were likely to see even more in the time to come. The odds that one
of them would get killed in battle were quite high, though Levi didn't like to
think on it. He didn't want to die, of course, but the Corporal had seen many
talented and battle-savvy soldiers who also didn't want to die fall shrieking
and screaming down the gullet of a Titan all the same. After seeing as many
soldiers die as Levi had, he knew that he had to face the sobering facts of his
own mortality.
And of the two of them, Levi was the one who was more likely to die. Compared
to Eren's Titan form, even Humanity's Strongest was just a frail, human man
flinging himself at creatures that were tens or even hundreds of times his
height. Levi didn't have the added benefit of being able to regenerate, either.
If Levi died, his death would be hard enough on Eren even if they weren't
romantically involved. If the two of them were lovers, it would only be that
much worse on the brat. It was for this reason that the Corporal hadn't taken
any lovers since his first expedition with the Survey Corps. The last thing
Levi wanted to do was cause Eren that much pain. Not only because the brat was
perhaps humanity's last hope for survival against the Titans, but because Levi
cared for Eren - perhaps a bit more than a commanding officer should about his
subordinate.
Eren was young, with his whole life ahead of him. He didn't deserve to be out
in the field fighting Titans day in and day out. Nobody did. Eren deserved to
meet someone truly special, settle down, and have a family. The last thing Levi
wanted was to chain Eren down with himself - a hardened street thug-turned-
soldier who was pushing thirty. So for Eren's sake, he would keep their
relationship firmly between that of commanding officer and subordinate, nothing
more. It would save them both a lot of heartache in the future.
-x-
They arrived back at the cave just as the sun was starting to dip below the
trees, painting the snow beneath a sort of pale, shimmering orange color. Jean
was sitting atop the roof of their cave, huddled up in his green woolen cloak
with a rather grumpy expression. When Levi and Eren emerged from the forest,
Jean greeted them with a glare. "You know, you could have told me you were
leaving!" He yelled. "I thought you guys had been eaten by wolves or something!
Er...no offense meant, sir," the amber-eyed soldier hastily tacked on at the
end, remembering that one of the people he was speaking to was his rather
intimidating commanding officer.
Levi looked surprised, and quickly turned around to narrow his eyes at Eren.
Clearly, the brat had neglected to tell Jean that they were leaving to go
hunting. Said brat was currently staring at his boots as if they were the most
fascinating thing in the world.
"I apologize, Kirschtein," Levi said, turning back to Jean, whose mouth dropped
open in surprise. Humanity's Strongest, actually apologizing for something?!
Jean hadn't thought that Levi was the type of person who apologized for
anything. Rumors about the legendary Lance Corporal spread throughout the
newest Survey Corps recruits like wildfire, the most scandalous being that he
was a sadist who engaged in BDSM orgies with the most expensive prostitutes
from Sina on a nightly basis. Apparently, these rumors were all more wrong than
Jean had originally suspected.
"Are you alright?" Levi asked. "Why didn't you stay in the cave; you would have
been warmer that way."
"I...um...I don't know..." Jean muttered, an embarrassed flush suffusing his
face. "I was nervous, I guess...I thought you and Eren were dead, sir..."
"Jaeger," Levi said in a voice of unnatural calm, now glaring at his
subordinate. "Why didn't you tell Kirschtein we were leaving camp?"
"W-well, I mean...he was sleeping, sir, and I didn't want to wake him - " Eren
replied sheepishly, still not looking Levi in the eye.
"Jaeger, I am your commanding officer and as such, you need to look at me when
I am asking you a direct question."
Eren's eyes hesitantly lifted to meet Levi's steely gray ones. The Corporal
looked angry, of course, but beneath that anger Eren could see something else
in Levi's face. Worry. Levi had obviously been concerned for Jean's well-being.
Eren's eyes widened as the full impact of what could have happened to Jean
while they were gone finally hit him. Jean could have left the cave to go look
for them, and gotten lost. Or a Titan could have come along and eaten him. Or
wolves, or even bears. Eren had no idea what kind of horrible things could have
happened to his comrade. At least Jean had the sense to stay put when he was
injured. Eren couldn't really say the same about himself.
Eren had clearly fucked up, big time. "I'm sorry, sir!" He said, in the most
formal and respectful voice he could manage. "Jean was asleep, and I thought it
was best that he get his rest. I didn't want to wake him up and disturb him. I
see now that I should have, and I apologize for my mistake, Captain Levi and
Private Kirschtein!"
Levi's angry, worried look softened. "Alright, brat," he said quietly, "that's
good enough. In the future, though, remember that Jean is your comrade. As
members of the Survey Corps, we are all responsible for each others' safety and
well-being."
Jean snickered slightly. "I dunno, I kind of preferred 'Private Kirschtein' to
'horse-faced asshole,' though. Maybe you should screw up more often, Eren."
Eren glared at the amber-eyed soldier, and opened his mouth to retort. Levi
swiftly stepped in - the last thing he wanted was for his two idiot
subordinates to start fighting. "That's enough out of you two. Let's eat dinner
and try to relax, we've all had an extremely stressful last few days."
"You've got food!?" Jean asked, clearly excited to eat something other than his
dwindling supply of military rations. The amber-eyed soldier frowned slightly
as Levi lifted up the metal container filled with bloody meat. A few drips of
dark blood were starting to ooze slowly down the side. "Eurgh..." Jean wrinkled
his nose at the carcass. "Are you sure that's safe to eat, sir?" He asked
hesitantly.
"It will be after we wash and cook it, yes," Levi answered. "I'll head to the
stream to get some more water. Jaeger, you and Kirschtein stay here get a fire
going."
-x-
A little over an hour later, the sun had gone down completely. Levi, Eren, and
Jean, however, were comfortably seated inside the warm circle of light created
by their fire. The air around them was thick with the rich scent of roast game.
After washing the meat in fresh water Eren had brought from the stream, the
rabbit had cooked up beautifully. The cooking was helped along by a spit Eren
and Jean had managed to rig up out of branches, amidst several mutters of
"horse-face" and "suicidal moron." Levi had cut it into three generous pieces,
two of which Eren and Jean were now eagerly devouring. Levi tried not to look
at the grease that stained the two boys' mouths, and occasionally dripped down
onto their uniforms. The Corporal was eating his rabbit much more carefully,
slicing off bite-sized chunks that he could eat without getting messy grease
everywhere. Eren and Jean must have been raised in pigpens, with the messy way
they ate. Didn't they know what a bitch it was to wash grease stains out of
clothes?
Eren's eye caught Levi's by accident, and stopped mid-bite upon seeing the way
Levi was frowning at his short leather jacket. Eren silently swore as he saw
that he'd dripped rabbit grease all down his front. There wasn't much he could
do about it now, though, not without access to soap. The turquoise-eyed soldier
wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, however, and took smaller bites of
his food. Sneaking another peak at Levi a few minutes later, Eren saw that the
shorter man's frown had lessened somewhat. It made Eren feel warm inside, a
kind of warmth that had nothing to do with the fire or the hot meal he was
currently eating.
It was surprising, how good just a warm fire and a hot meal could make a person
feel. It was a bit like being out on a long wilderness training session, back
when Eren and Jean had still been in basic training. For once, Eren and Jean
stopped arguing, and reminisced over stories from their basic training days.
"Do you remember when Sasha stole that whole sack of apples from the kitchens?"
"Yeah, and do you remember that time Christa organized a sleepover in the
girls' barracks, and all the girls came down to breakfast the next morning with
braided hair?"
Levi smiled slightly as he listened to Eren and Jean talk. Despite their dire
situation, it was really nice to just spend an evening around the fire like
this. It was rare enough for soldiers to be this relaxed even within the Walls.
No matter what happened afterwards, for this one brief moment, Levi had hope.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you so much to everyone who left comments and kudos! You're all
     lovely, wonderful people~
     Unfortunately, the next chapter might be a bit late. Next week I have
     a final and an essay due, so I'm going to be pretty busy with all of
     that. I procrastinated enough just writing this chapter. xD Please
     bear with me! After next week, I'll have a whole semester free until
     grad school start up. So I will have plenty of time to write then :)
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi teaches Eren and Jean how to survive in the wilderness, and they
     all finally take a bath. Levi, Eren, and Jean set out to return to
     the safety of the Walls.
Chapter Notes
     I just barely avoided making it a month between updating this fic by
     three days. Victory is mine...?
     While I have tried my best to make the survival tactics the
     characters use as realistic as possible, I have taken some liberties
     for ease of storytelling. I would not recommend actually trying any
     of the tactics I have described in this chapter in an actual
     emergency situation.
     WARNING: There is another brief scene where Levi kills a wild animal,
     though not nearly as in-depth as last chapter. So slight gore, I
     guess? Just thought I'd give you guys a heads-up.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Surprisingly, the next few weeks went quite smoothly for Levi, Eren, and Jean.
They hadn't seen or heard a single Titan so far, which was nothing short of a
miracle, considering that Survey Corps expeditions usually attracted the
monsters in droves. Of course, it didn't stop the three of them from remaining
on edge; and Levi most of all. The slightest unexpected noise - the sound of a
breaking branch, or a sudden breeze through the treetops, for example - would
cause the Corporal's hands to fly to the blades at his sides. They would be
utterly useless against a Titan without 3D Maneuver Gear, of course. It wasn't
like slashing at a Titan's ankles was going to kill one, unfortunately. Levi
had been outside the Walls too many times for him to hope that a Titan just
wouldn't show up.
Levi ruminated over this question in his mind at night, after the brats had
fallen asleep. Why hadn't they run into any Titans so far? The only theory he
could come up with was that three people, alone in a large forest, were less of
a draw to Titans than the hundred-plus soldiers that made up an expedition. The
three of them weren't barreling across the countryside on noisy horses, either,
which probably helped. For perhaps the first time in his life, Levi wished that
Hanji was there for him to talk about Titans with. It was probably a sign that
he was going crazy.
On the bright side, however, Jean was getting stronger every day. Thankfully
the amber-eyed soldier was now able to piss unaided, for which Levi was
extremely grateful. Jean and Eren still bickered, of course, but Levi couldn't
help noticing that the insults the two soldiers threw back and forth were less
caustic and angry than before. Levi thought that the muttered insults of
"horseface" and "asshole" sounded almost fond sometimes. Perhaps Jean had
realized that it was thanks in part to Eren's doctoring that he wasn't dead
right now. It seemed that the two might be approaching something close to a
healthy camaraderie - or at least, as close to a healthy one as people like
Jean and Eren were ever going to get.
Levi was now dedicating his time to teaching Eren and Jean how to survive in
the wilderness. There was a lot to do, after all, in terms of getting enough
food and water and fuel for them to stay alive. He would never be able to do
all of it alone, so it Eren and Jean would have to help. Levi had another
reason for teaching the young soldiers as well, but one that he refused to let
rise from the shadowy corners of his mind where it lurked. If something should
happen to him out here - if, for some reason, he wasn't able to protect Eren
and Jean anymore - the two of them needed to know how to survive. Levi needed
to keep the promise he'd made Eren on their first full day out here, that he
would make sure they all made it back to the Walls safely. And the Corporal
would do so by any means within his power.
However, teaching Eren and Jean was not an easy task. Levi was starting to
wonder if the two of them had rocks in their heads instead of brains. The
Corporal was starting to feel deeply sorry for Shadis. The poor bastard had to
teach these brats for months during basic training, and Levi felt frustrated
enough to pull his hair out after only about a week.
For example, one morning the Corporal taught Eren and Jean how to make simple
traps in order to catch small wild animals, such as squirrels or birds. "Doing
this saves you the energy of trekking around the forest for miles looking for
things to shoot with a bow," Levi explained. "Setting traps allows for the prey
to come to you."
By now, the three of them (or rather, just Levi) had managed to bring down a
few more animals, including a small deer. They were having meat for dinner at
least twice a week, and it felt like heaven to Eren and Jean. More importantly,
though, were the skins, sinews, and furs that Levi painstakingly dried by the
fire each night, wrapping them carefully in blankets of dry pine needles and
leaves during the day in order to protect them from the cold and wet. These
materials were vital for crafting tools and such for survival, according to
Levi. Right now, the Corporal was demonstrating how to weave simple nooses out
of dried sinew and small, flexible branches. These nooses would then be
attached to stout branches in the underbrush, a little ways from their cave.
"The way these traps work is, you put a bit of food nearby," Levi explained,
"and some curious little fucker comes along to eat it. Then the animal's leg
will trip the noose as it moves, causing the noose to tighten around the
animal's leg so it can't get away."
After about an hour of intense concentration, Eren and Jean were finally able
to tie nooses that didn't break apart in a stiff breeze. Levi started to lose
patience with them in about half that time. "Kirschtein, were you born with
paws instead of hands? A three year-old could tie a better knot than that
miserable fucking tangle you've got. And congratu-fucking-lations, Jaeger,
you've managed to break another sinew. That shit isn't exactly easy to dry,
brat."
Once the two soldiers had managed to create traps that Levi deemed acceptable,
he sent the two of them off to gather water while he got the fire going. By the
time Eren and Jean returned, toting containers full of water and bitching at
each other every step of the way, at least another hour had gone by and Levi
deemed it time to go and check on the traps.
They came across the trap Levi had set first, which had managed to catch a
crow. The animal was hopping about and cawing furiously, trying in vain to
dislodge the noose that had tightened around its leg. Levi knelt down next to
the bird and drew his knife across its breast. The animal let out one last
choked, panicky caw-caw, and there was a splatter of bright crimson across the
snow. Then Levi was standing, holding the dead crow by its legs. "Now let's see
if the traps the two of you made have anything for us," he said.
Eren's trap was less successful. The noose, which had snapped in two, was lying
forlornly in the ground next to several sets of animal tracks. The food he had
left as bait was, obviously, long gone by now. Upon seeing his mess of a trap,
Eren;s face flushed and he started stammering out apologies to Levi while
glaring at Jean, who was snickering under his breath. Levi sighed harshly and
held up a hand to stop the brat's chatter. "Let's just go look at Kirschtein's
trap," he said.
At first, it looked like Jean's trap had been successful. The noose had
tightened around a small, dark shape that was lying motionless in the snow.
"All right! I did it!" The amber-eyed soldier whooped, rushing ahead to see
what his trap had caught.
"So what'd you get, horseface?" Eren sniped, as he and Levi came up behind the
amber-eyed soldier. Jean, who had been kneeling in the snow in order to see
what kind of animal he'd caught, had gone motionless.
"Oi, Kirschtein. Your ribs bothering you?" Levi placed a hand on Jean's
shoulder. Jean jerked slightly at the touch, then slowly got to his feet and
turned around. In his hand was the noose of his trap, which had tightened
around...a pinecone. Clearly, it had fallen from a nearby tree and somehow set
the trap off. Animal prints were scattered around the spot where Jean had left
his bait, which was also gone.
Eren immediately burst out laughing. "So...so are we going to be eating that
for dinner tonight, horseface?!" He gasped, clutching his stomach as tears of
mirth escaped his turquoise eyes.
Jean glowered, wearing the same sulky expression that a small child whose toy
had just been broken might. "Shut up, asshole! It's not like you caught
anything, either!"
"Better I catch nothing than a stupid pinecone!" Eren retorted between
chuckles.
Levi somehow resisted the urge to start banging his head against the nearest
tree. He settled instead for snapping at the two soldiers. "Shut the fuck up
and let's go back to camp. If I hear another word out of either of you on the
way back, you'll be eating the rest of your military rations for dinner tonight
instead of this crow."
-x-
Despite the cold outside, Levi desperately wanted to take a bath and wash
everyone's clothes. The uncomfortable fact that this was probably the longest
he'd gone without bathing and clean clothes in his entire life weighed heavily
on his mind. Especially now that sleeping in the cave with Eren and Jean was
starting to smell less than ideal. Unfortunately, however, it was still too
cold to spend any length of time without clothes on, even if the three of them
did stand close to the fire. Not to mention the potential dangers - a Titan
catching Levi, Eren, and Jean in their birthday suits would be an absolute
nightmare.
There was only one solution that Levi could see, and he didn't much like it. He
was going to have to teach the two idiots how to sew.
So the next morning, the Corporal set Eren and Jean up with a few skins and
furs, some thin strips of animal sinew for thread, and slivers of bone for
needles. He patiently demonstrated a few stitches for the two soldiers, going
over each one three times each in order to make sure that Eren and Jean
understood how to do them. Then Levi braced himself for the worst.
Surprisingly enough, the two of them didn't completely suck at making clothes.
Sure, Eren pricked his finger a million times with the needle, and spent a good
deal of time sucking the digit free of blood while thin, wispy curls of smoke
rose from his quickly healing skin. And yes, the crude deerskin robe Jean
created had four extra arm-holes, but at least that was fixable. All in all,
Levi considered the sewing lesson a success. By mid-afternoon, the three of
them had crafted suitable robes and hats out of skins and furs, with enough
left over to wrap around their hands and feet in place of boots and gloves.
It was a sad, sad day, Levi thought, when he felt cleaner wearing some freshly-
dead animal skins than his own uniform. "Alright, you two," he said. "We're
going to the river and taking a damn bath. Bring your uniforms, we'll clean
those too."
There weren't any arguments. Both Eren and Jean realized that they and their
clothes were filthy, after all. Neither of them were particularly looking
forward to hopping into a freezing cold river, but they both disliked going
without bathing for over a week even more. Besides, it wasn't a big deal for
Eren to be naked around Jean, and vice-versa. Years of communal showering in
the training barracks had long since erased those concerns from the two young
soldiers.
The Corporal, however, was a totally different story. Levi had always bathed
separately from everyone else. In the former Survey Corps HQ, where he and Eren
had been staying right up until this disaster of a mission, there had been few
enough soldiers around for Levi to get away with having his own private bath.
So Eren had never seen Levi naked before. And now here the Corporal was,
removing his uniform piece by piece and cursing like a sailor as the cold bit
uncomfortably into his skin. Holy mother of Maria, Eren couldn't help thinking
to himself. He's built. Really fucking built.
The Corporal's body looked almost like one of the carved marble statues of men
Eren had seen once, a long time ago, during a school field trip to an art
museum in Rose. He looked to be made entirely of lithe muscle, with perfectly
sculpted abs and smooth, pale skin. Levi's dark hair and eyes contrasted
perfectly against the rest of his body, drawing attention to his sharp jaw and
strong neck. Eren surreptitiously checked the corner of his mouth to make sure
he wasn't drooling.
"All right, you two," Levi said, as he finished folding his uniform into a neat
pile next to his boots. "Let's get in the water before we freeze our asses off
out here." Without any further ado, the Corporal walked to the edge of a large,
flat rock nearby, which jutted out over the riverbed. He took a deep breath and
jumped in, submerging his entire body in the cold water at once.
"AGH! FUCKING SHIT THAT'S COLD!" Levi hollered. "FUCKING HELL I THINK MY BALLS
JUST FROZE OFF!"
Eren's forehead furrowed in concern. The Corporal had never hollered before, to
his knowledge. Levi barked, lectured, and occasionally shouted out orders if
the surroundings were particularly noisy, but never before had Levi sounded
quite so...emotional. "Sir?!" The turquoise-eyed soldier cried, hurrying to the
edge of the riverbank. "Sir, are you alright?"
Behind Eren, Jean was eyeing the river nervously. "I knew this was a bad idea,"
he muttered.
With a slight splash, Levi's lithe body came swimming up to the edge of the
riverbank. "I'm f-fine, Jaeger," he muttered through chattering teeth. "Now g-
get your ass in this r-river; y-you need to get cl-clean as well."
Eren stared into the river below him. The fresh, clear water would have looked
inviting on a warm summer's day. Not so much in the middle of winter, when
everything was blanketed in a layer of snow and ice. Nervously, Eren stuck out
his foot and dipped his toe in, positively yelping when he felt how cold it was
against his skin. The water almost burned. "Um...Captain, if you could just
give me a minute to adjust to the water - "
Eren's excuses were cut off with another abrupt yelp when Levi's arm reached
out from the water, latched around Eren's ankle, and pulled him in. For one
brief, horrible second Eren's entire body was submerged below the water, Levi's
body above merely a blurry, shimmering outline. Then Eren's legs kicked out,
his toes brushing the smooth pebbles of the riverbed as he propelled himself
upwards. With a loud gasp, the turquoise-eyed soldier surfaced, and shook his
wet hair out of his face.
"Sir, with all due respect," Eren choked out, still feeling shocked from his
sudden contact with extremely cold water. "What the hell did you do that for?!"
Eren blinked his eyes open and came face to face with Levi, who was treading
water just a scant inch away. "I needed to get you in the water somehow, brat,"
the Corporal said. "The way you were pussyfooting around, you would have maybe
gotten half your leg in by the time the sun went down."
The turquoise-eyed soldier merely nodded, transfixed by how close he was to
Levi. He watched as drops of water dripped from Levi's hair to run down his
chest. If Eren leaned forward just an inch, in fact, he could kiss the
Corporal's lips...
His face suddenly burning, Eren whirled around and swam quickly over to the
opposite bank. "Jaeger, what the fuck are you doing?" Levi cried after him.
"Excuse me, sir!" Eren replied, suddenly glad for the cold water against his
face, which was probably red as a cherry right now. "I'm absolutely filthy! I -
I need to get clean right away!" Eren dunked his head under the water briefly
to scrub viciously at his mop of brown hair.
Levi sighed deeply. Teenagers were strange creatures indeed. "Alright
Kirschtein," he said, turning his attention to Jean. "Get in the water before I
have to drag your scrawny ass in."
It was times like this when Jean seriously wondered why he hadn't just joined
the Military Police. Hell, even the Garrison probably had access to warm
showers.
-x-
Now out of the river, after what had to be the most miserable bath he'd ever
taken in his entire life, Jean was scrubbing his cloak clean in the river water
next to Eren. A little ways downstream, Levi was washing his pants with a
furor, as if the item of clothing had personally wronged him at some point. The
three of them looked like primitive cavemen, wrapped in their animal furs, but
at least Jean was warm.
"Dude, what the hell's up with you and Captain Levi?" Jean muttered, so that
only Eren would be able to hear.
Eren startled at the mention of the Corporal's name, and very nearly dropped
the jacket he was washing into the river. Jean stifled a laugh against his
hand, and Eren glared at him.
"I don't know what you're talking about, horseface," he said, trying to sound
nonchalant and failing miserably. "Captain Levi's my commanding officer. I'm
grateful to him for saving my life, and I admire his skills as a soldier.
That's it."
Jean snorted. "Yeah, whatever. So the reason you went red as a tomato when he
took his clothes off is because you were thinking about how good Levi is at
killing Titans. Riiiiight."
"Shut up," Eren snapped, his cheeks coloring pink. "I wasn't wearing any
clothes, and in case you hadn't noticed, it's really freaking cold out here! So
excuse me if my skin turns a little red, dumbass."
"And I guess that's why you turn into a blushing girl every time you get close
to him. I thought you were gonna faint in the river earlier." Jean adopted a
high-pitched falsetto: "Oh, Captain Levi, I need to wash my hair before you
look upon me!"
"Shut the fuck up, Kirschtein, or I'll throw you into the river!" Eren shouted,
making to get to his feet as he raised a fist.
"Knock it the fuck off, you two, or you'll both be back in the river!" Levi
barked. Eren sat back on his haunches, glaring murderously at Jean.
"Calm down, moron, I'm not gonna tell him," Jean hissed. "He'd probably take my
head off for wasting his time, anyway. We're kinda trapped in the middle of
nowhere right now, and Titans could show up at any time. So I'm sure the
Captain has better shit to worry about than his subordinate's stupid crush."
Eren opened his mouth to retort, but Jean kept talking. "All I'm saying is, try
to get your dumb hormones under control, Princess. Cause if I can pick up on
the fact that you've got the hots for Levi, I'm sure he can too."
-x-
Levi guessed it was around two weeks after the Titan had landed the three of
them in the forest when Jean could finally stretch his entire body without any
pain. It was hard to keep track of time out in the forest, without any
calendars or timepieces. Out here, the only time that really mattered was when
the sun rose and set. But now that Jean was finally well enough, the three of
them could start their journey back to the Walls. And Levi would never have to
spend another night sleeping practically on top of Eren and Jean in that dirty,
cramped cave ever again. Jean talked in his sleep, and Eren was...distracting.
The first thing Levi did was have Jean climb a tree, in order to better observe
their surroundings. Unfortunately, the only tree around that looked sturdy
enough to support Jean's weight had branches that started around halfway up its
trunk. Eren basically had to stand on top of Levi in order to boost Jean high
enough up to reach the lowest bough.
"Um, sir, not to disregard your authority or anything..." Jean said nervously,
as he balanced precariously atop Eren's shoulders, "but maybe Eren should be
the one to do this? I mean, I just got over an injury and all..."
"You're the tallest here, Kirschtein, so you'll be able to get the best view,"
Levi explained, from his position anchoring Eren's feet. "Just get up there and
see if you can spot the Walls."
"O-Okay, sir - hey! Eren, stop wobbling around like that! You're gonna drop me,
asshole!"
"Stop yelling at me and focus on reaching that branch! I can't support your fat
ass for much longer!" Eren snapped back.
"Oi! I'm the one who has to hold up both of you little shits, so quit your
bickering up there!" Levi shouted.
"Urgh..." Jean grunted, digging his heels into Eren's shoulders as he stretched
up. "Just...a little more...hang on...got it!" Jean yelled triumphantly,
clasping his hands tightly around the branch. Levi and Eren collapsed at the
base of the tree, both breathing heavy sighs of relief as Jean began to climb
up.
"Go slowly, Kirschtein!" Levi shouted up at Jean. "It won't be good for any of
us if you hurt yourself again."
"Yes, sir!" Jean's voice echoed down. Climbing the tree was slow going, as each
bough was slippery with snow and ice. Little showers of snow fell each time
Jean moved to a new branch. Still, it felt good to finally be able to exert his
body painlessly. The amber-eyed soldier couldn't help smiling a little as his
body moved upwards, towards the bright afternoon sun shining overhead.
Finally, Jean's head poked out past a bunch of twigs to look over the
surrounding landscape. The first thought he had was that from this point of
view, the forest was truly beautiful. The sky above was a bright azure, the sun
lighting up the snow-covered trees below so that they looked encrusted in
shimmering white jewels. A lone bird flew by overhead, making lazy circles in
the air.
The next thought Jean had was that they were all in some deep fucking shit.
"Are you at the top yet?" He could hear Levi's voice from down below. "What do
you see?"
Jean swallowed hard before shouting back. "Nothing but trees, Captain! I can
see some mountains in the distance...but the forest seems to go on all the way
to their slopes..." He squinted against the bright sunlight. Had there been
something moving among the trees?
"Do you see the Walls at all!?" It was Eren was shouting this time, with a note
of anxiety in his voice.
"Hang on, I think I see something moving!" Jean shouted back. His throat
suddenly felt like sandpaper, and his belly was on fire with nerves. But he had
to make sure. Jean put a hand up to shade his eyes...and watched in horror as a
great flesh-colored shape straightened itself up. It was at least a head taller
than the surrounding pines, with a head of hair the same blinding white as the
snow around it.
The monster's head whipped towards Jean, and the amber-eyed soldier could have
sworn that it locked eyes with him for one terrifying moment. It roared loud
enough to cause the surrounding trees to tremble, startling a nearby flock of
birds into flight.
Down below, Levi was on his feet instantly. He drew his swords, trying to gain
some small comfort from at least holding a weapon. Next to the Corporal, Eren
had gone white as a sheet, his face contorted into an almost inhuman snarl as
great footsteps sounded in the distance. The branches of the nearby trees
rustled ominously.
It was Jean who gave voice to what they were all thinking, to what was their
biggest fear. To what had been their biggest fear for years. Since Maria. Since
Trost.
"TITAN!"
Chapter End Notes
     DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN! Sorry not sorry.
     I am honestly shocked and humbled by all the positive reception this
     fic has been getting. uvu You guys are all incredibly sweet, oh my
     gosh~ All these lovely comments and kudos make me blush and squee
     like an idiot. *_*
     *hides in the corner* I promise it'll be less than a month between
     updates this time.
     (Is it just me or did this chapter have a ton of swear words in it
     holy shit Levi control your mouth around the children)
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi, Eren, and Jean have a run-in with a Titan, and find sanctuary
     in a relic of the past. Eren learns a bit more about his reserved
     superior officer's feelings towards him.
Chapter Notes
     A little background info is necessary before this chapter: I have
     this odd headcanon that Titans first appeared during the modern era.
     When humanity was unable to defeat them and retreated behind the
     Walls, they reverted back to living with Middle Ages-style technology
     due to limited resources and space. Eventually, due to the passage of
     time and the decree against talking about the outside world, people
     forgot about the wonders of modern technology.
     Obviously this isn't strictly SnK canon, but I just like
     incorporating my headcanons into fics. ;) Besides, I've always
     wondered how the Survey Corps would react if they ran into old relics
     of humanity before the Titans came. One of these days I may have to
     write a fic exploring that topic a bit more...
     Anyways, I've rambled enough. Enjoy!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Jean practically fell out of the tree in his haste to get down. Somehow, he was
able to catch himself against the tree trunk every time his foot slipped on a
branch. It helped that the bark was rough, providing Jean with plenty of
handholds. Unfortunately, the last bough was quite a few feet above the ground.
Jean didn't think he would be able to jump down without injuring himself, which
was something he wasn't keen on doing, considering that he'd just recently
gotten over an injury.
"Jump, Kirschtein!" He heard Captain Levi shout up at him. "I'll catch you,
just jump down!"
Jean eyed the Corporal nervously. From ten feet off the ground, Levi looked
even smaller than usual, and Jean was uncomfortably reminded of the fact that
he was a good four or five inches taller than his superior officer. He couldn't
help wondering if Levi would even be able to catch him. And what if I
accidentally squash the Captain!?
"Jump, you idiot!" Levi's tone had become more annoyed now. Meanwhile, the
expression on Eren's face was reminiscent of a feral animal. It would have been
frightening, if Jean hadn't already seen it a hundred times during basic
training. It was the expression Eren always wore when the topic of fighting
Titans came up.
Oh, what the hell, Jean thought. Dying because Captain Levi didn't catch me
after I jumped out of a tree is probably a less painful way to go than getting
eaten by a Titan would be. And with that, he jumped.
"Oof!" All the air went out of Levi's body as Jean impacted against it. The
Corporal wrapped his arms firmly around the younger soldier's body, and they
both toppled backwards into the snow. "Fuck, Kirschtein, you're heavy!"
"Jean, you idiot!" Eren yelled. "There's a Titan coming this way right now, and
you're crushing Captain Levi!"
"I'm...I'm alive!?" Jean carefully sat up, choosing to ignore Eren for the time
being. He carefully patted his arms and legs in order to make sure that nothing
was broken. "I'm not dead!" Wow. I guess they don't call the Corporal
"Humanity's Strongest" for nothing.
"You will be in a moment if you don't get the fuck off me," Levi growled. Jean
felt his face heat up as he realized that he was sitting on top of the
Corporal.
"I'm so sorry sir!" Jean cried, and scrambled to get off of Levi. "Are you hurt
at all?"
"No," Levi grunted, getting to his feet. "But we'll all be a lot more than just
hurt if we don't get the hell out of here. Come on." The Corporal turned and
set off at a run, weaving his way expertly through the trees. Eren and Jean
took off behind him. The Titan's footsteps were growing louder and louder as it
drew closer to them. They could hear the loud creaking, snapping sounds of what
must be entire trees breaking as the Titan stepped on them.
"Kirschtein, were you able to see how large this Titan is? I need to know what
we're up against here." Levi's voice was curt and no-nonsense as always, and
Jean couldn't help but admire his calm in the face of what had to be certain
death.
"It looked really big, sir," Jean responded as he leapt over a tree root. "I
mean huge. It was taller than all the trees around it. But what does it matter
anyway; we're never gonna be able to outrun - "
"Sir!" Eren interrupted. The turquoise-eyed soldier ran a few feet ahead of
Jean, so that he was keeping pace with Levi. "If you'll give me permission to
transform, I might be able to kill it - "
"No, Jaeger." Levi's voice left absolutely no room for arguments. "You will not
transform unless I explicitly authorize it. Do I make myself clear?"
Eren looked dumbstruck. Even in a situation like this, where they very well
might all die in a few moments if he didn't transform, Levi still wouldn't
allow it? Does the Corporal really have such little trust in me? "But sir, I -
"
"IT'S COMING!" Jean shouted, stumbling over leaves and patches of snow. The
Titan's leg, a great pillar of flesh that dwarfed everything around it, came
breaking through the forest behind them. The huge slab of its foot smashed down
onto a nearby pine tree, instantly reducing it to splinters. Its tongue lolled
out from between swollen lips, dancing around huge, square teeth the length of
a man's leg. Its blank, glassy eyes were focused on the three tiny humans
scurrying away below it, and it wasn't hard to figure out what the Titan was
thinking. It was the same thing all Titans thought when faced with humans - the
only thought, it seemed, that Titans were capable of having at all.
Hunger. Food. Prey.
"We're gonna die! Fucking hell, we're all gonna die!" Jean shouted, tears
stinging at the corners of his eyes as he ran blindly through the forest
alongside Eren and Levi. Please, I don't want to die! The amber-eyed soldier
thought desperately. Not now. Not like this. Oh gods, Marco...
Levi spotted it as the three of them burst out of the dead, frozen underbrush
into a small clearing, the Titan still right on their heels. It was a well - an
extremely old well, as the round stones that made it up were crumbling and
half-covered with the crawling brown stems of what was probably ivy. Hiding
inside of it probably wasn't the safest option - after all, Levi had no idea
how deep the well was - but it was the only chance of survival they had at the
moment.
"Get in the well! Hurry!" The Corporal shouted. He grabbed Eren's arm with one
hand and took Jean's in the other, and Levi practically yanked the two younger
soldiers with him as he leapt down the well.
The three of them landed in a messy heap of flailing limbs several yards down.
Thankfully, the well had gone dry at some point, since all there was at the
bottom was a puddle of half-frozen muck. Which had now splattered all over
their freshly-washed Survey Corps uniforms.
"Are either of you hurt?" Levi grunted, managing with some effort to
disentangle himself from Eren's leg in order to sit up straight.
"Unnnghhh," Jean moaned, also sitting up and rubbing at his head. "No...just a
few bruises, I think..."
"I'm OK too, sir," Eren said quietly. There was steam rising from a nasty gash
on the brat's arm, which would have probably needed immediate medical attention
had it happened to any other soldier. With Eren, however, the skin was knitting
right before Levi's eyes through a haze of hot steam. It was truly remarkable,
but the Corporal didn't have time to dwell on his subordinate's amazing
regenerative powers at the moment. Another loud roar echoed just overhead, and
the stones of the old well trembled as the monster stopped right beside it.
The creature's hand came sweeping down over the top of the well, breaking off
the rotting, mostly collapsed wooden beams that would normally have supported a
rope and bucket. Levi, Eren, and Jean crouched down, huddling close together in
the bottom of the well. For a few moments, there was no sound save for the
slight rumblings of the Titan's movement, and the three humans' breathing,
harsh and ragged from running.
Then there was another loud roar, and one of the Titan's fingers came plunging
down the well. It was easily as long as the tree Jean had climbed earlier,
tipped with a fingernail yellowed and chipped from age and dirt. Levi grabbed
the backs of Eren and Jean's cloaks and pulled the two back against the far
wall. The Titan's one finger was scraping about, creating deep furrows in the
muck, and the way it moved reminded Levi uncomfortably of a small child trying
to get the last sweet out of a jar. The Titan caused one part of the well to
collapse completely by scraping against it, the crumbling rocks sliding down to
land in a pile next to Levi, Eren, and Jean. One of them narrowly missed Jean's
foot, causing him to stifle a whimper as he quickly yanked the appendage back.
Amazingly, the Titan withdrew its finger, letting out its loudest roar yet in
frustration at not being able to catch the three humans. Levi, Eren, and Jean
winced, covering their ears as the Titan's shout echoed around them and caused
a few more smaller rocks to crumble off the sides of the well. There were more
splintering and crashing noises up above, along with the thudding, crunching
sounds of footsteps as the creature moved about. The Titan's hand passed over
the top of the well a few more times, but it appeared that Levi's gamble had
paid off. The well was too small a hiding place for the huge Titan to be able
to reach them. For the moment, at least, they were safe. Apparently Eren and
Jean realized this as well, since Levi could feel their bodies relaxing ever so
slightly beside his own.
"What should we do now, sir?" Jean whispered, looking at Levi with huge,
fearful eyes.
"Wait until nightfall," Levi answered gruffly. "That bastard'll stop moving
once there's no sunlight, and then we can get to someplace safe."
"Captain Levi!" Eren was glaring at Levi, his bright turquoise eyes filled with
the same intense fury that had attracted Levi to the boy in the first place. It
was much less pleasant, however, to have that same intense anger focused on
himself. "With all due respect, sir, why won't you let me transform!? Why don't
you trust me, Captain? I can kill that Titan, I know I can, and we can get out
of here! I can take us back to the Walls, and we won't have to stay out here in
the woods any longer - "
"Jaeger, shut the fuck up," Levi hissed through clenched teeth. Eren's mouth
shut with an audible click, his eyes going wide at the intensity of the
Corporal's tone. Levi had been harsh with him before, of course. He'd sworn
like a sailor around Eren, had called him a brat more times than Eren could
count. Hell, Levi had beaten him black and blue during the military trial in
order to save Eren's life. But the Corporal had never once told anyone on his
squad to "shut the fuck up." The turquoise-eyed soldier found himself unable to
say anything more as Levi's intense gray eyes bored into him.
"First off, brat," Levi said, "I trust every member of my squad completely.
Since you are a member of my squad, that includes you. However, your Titan
power is far from being reliable. You're exhausted for a long period of time
after transforming, Jaeger, and we can't afford to be dragging your unconscious
body around the woods. And the fact of the matter is, there's still a high
chance that you'll lose control and go on a rampage."
Eren opened his mouth to retort, but Levi held up a hand to stop him and kept
talking. "You are Humanity's Last Hope, and I have been tasked with keeping you
safe, Eren. This is not something that I take lightly. More importantly, I have
to be the one to kill you should something go wrong. Have you ever even once
considered, in that thick head of yours, that maybe, just maybe, I want to keep
you alive? That maybe I don't want to kill you, Eren?"
Eren was completely lost for words. He just stared at the Corporal, bright
turquoise looking into cool gray. He...trusts me? Really? He doesn't want to
kill me? Eren supposed he probably should have figured this out sooner, having
spent a month in Levi's company prior to this expedition. However, it was
always difficult to tell with the Corporal, since he kept his feelings so
closely guarded. Eren was never sure what exactly Levi was thinking at any
given moment. For now, however, the turquoise-eyed soldier's insides felt
pleasantly warm at this newest revelation.
For several long moments, everything was silent save for the rumbling movements
of the Titan above them. Jean, having realized that Eren and Levi were having A
Moment, was trying his best to pretend he wasn't there by staring intently at
the weathered stones to his left.
Finally, Eren broke their gaze with a slight sigh, a light blush tingeing his
cheeks pink. "Corporal...thank you," he murmured, staring intently down at the
palms of his hands. "For...you know. Protecting me, and everything."
Levi's lips twitched up in the slightest of smiles. "Of course, brat." He said
quietly. "Now let's try and make ourselves as comfortable as we can. There's
still plenty of hours until nighttime."
Eren and Jean grimaced down at the cold mud they were currently sitting in, and
groaned inwardly. It was going to be a long afternoon.
-x-
Keeping warm at the bottom of a freezing cold well was a difficult task. If it
wasn't for the incredible warmth Eren gave off, they might very well have
frozen to death. As it was, Levi draped several furs over the three of them,
and they all huddled close for warmth while nibbling on the last of their
military rations. Despite the situation they were in, with a man-eating Titan
literally only twenty or so yards away, Eren couldn't help but enjoy the
feeling of the Corporal's body pressed flush against him, Levi's short black
hair tickling the underside of his chin. It was a peaceful, content feeling,
being so close to a person you admired and cared for greatly.
Of course, the feeling was ruined somewhat by Jean's body pressed against
Eren's other side. The taller boy smelled like a bad mixture of dirt and sweat.
Of course, Eren probably didn't smell much better, since he had taken exactly
one bath in weeks. However, Eren thought that Jean had always smelled funny.
Probably because he was actually part horse, or something.
Exhausted from the earlier stress, Eren, Levi, and Jean dozed off. Levi didn't
know how long he'd been asleep for, but when he blearily opened his eyes again,
the sky was dark overhead and filled with twinkling stars. The Corporal yawned
and stretched as best he could in such close quarters, listening hard for
several moments. Except for the typical rustling noises of the forest, all was
silent. It was time for the three of them to make their escape.
Levi looked down at his side, where Eren was snoring softly into Jean's ear.
"Oi, get up you two," he hissed, poking the younger soldiers in the ribs. Eren
made an absolutely adorable little squeak as his eyes slowly opened.
"Mmm...wha' time izzet." He mumbled.
Next to him, Jean groaned as he slowly sat up, brushing a few stray locks of
hair out of his eyes. "Ugh. My back hurts," he grumbled.
"It's nighttime now, so we need to get the hell out of here and away from that
Titan," Levi explained. "It's not safe to stay here any longer. We don't have
much food or water, and that big fucker could succeed at breaking down the well
tomorrow and killing us all. We have to go now."
"But sir...anything could be out there besides Titans," Jean said. "Like
wolves, or bears..."
"Or moose," Eren added. Levi and Jean stared down at him in disbelief. "What?
Mikasa says it's a legitimate concern - "
"That's why you have weapons," Levi cut in, not wanting to hear anything more
about Eren's apparent fear of moose. He gestured to the swords salvaged from
their maneuver gear. "If some animal gets close to you, just stab it." It was
times like this that the Corporal wished he had his gun with him. He never
brought it along on expeditions, seeing as how firearms were useless against
Titans. Right now, though, the Corporal dearly wished he had. A gun would have
been handy in fending off wild animals.
Eren and Jean looked unconvinced, but nevertheless followed Levi in climbing
out of the well. It took a good ten or fifteen minutes for the three of them to
inch their way up, since it was difficult to find hand- and footholds among the
old, crumbling stones. There were several close calls where a rock literally
fell away after a hand or foot was placed near it. Levi breathed a deep sigh of
relief when they had all managed to pull themselves up onto the snowy ground
beside their hiding place.
Slowly getting to his feet, Levi looked up at the great behemoth of a Titan
that was slumped on the ground a few feet away. The creature was curled up in a
ball, knees pressed up to its chest and half lidded eyes staring blankly at
nothing. It was completely still, save for the deep, heaving motions of its
sides as the Titan breathed in and out.
The Titan was huge, perhaps the biggest that Levi had ever seen in his entire
time in the Survey Corps. It easily dwarfed everything around it, the tallest
trees not even reaching its hip. Wild white hair fell in tangles around its
shoulders, almost glowing in the moonlight. Levi felt a pang of fear run down
his spine as he realized that this Titan was probably bigger than Eren. Would
the brat be able to defeat it, if he had to? Hopefully they'd never have to
find out.
Eren and Jean were also staring at the Titan, eyes wide and faces filled with
fear (and anger as well, on Eren's part). Levi didn't blame them. Even after a
soldier stopped wetting him- or herself at the sight of a Titan, seeing the
monsters never got any less terrifying. Although it couldn't move right now,
Levi didn't want to hang around the Titan any longer than they had to. "Weapons
out," he ordered Eren and Jean as he drew his own swords. "Let's go, and
remember to stay alert."
-x-
Thankfully, it wasn't quite as dark out as Levi had originally feared it would
be. The moon was nearly full, hanging bright and heavy in the sky. It cast a
soft silver glow over the surrounding forest, reflecting off of the snow in a
way that was positively ethereal. Levi would have found it beautiful, had there
been time to stop and admire the scenery. Right now, it was important that they
keep moving. Even more worrisome than wild animals was the pressing need for
Levi to get himself, Eren, and Jean to a safe place before the sun came up, and
the Titans started moving again. It was still pretty dark out despite the
moonlight, and the going was slower than usual as Eren, Levi, and Jean had to
carefully pick their way around uneven ground and rocks that threatened to trip
them up at every turn.
They came upon the house completely by accident. After rounding a particularly
tall stand of trees, the three soldiers found themselves standing at the foot
of a small hill overlooking a sizeable clearing. At the top of the hill was a
ramshackle structure, half-covered by now-dead growth and weeds but still
recognizable as something man-made. Even Levi, who had come across old human
structures from before the Titans on a few expeditions now, was surprised to
find it. Eren and Jean were completely shocked.
"What the hell..." Jean breathed softly.
"Is that a...a house?" Eren gaped in disbelief. "Like...a house where people
lived?"
"Well, it sure as fuck isn't a house for Titans," Levi grunted. "It'll make a
good place to camp until tomorrow, at any rate. Assuming the place hasn't
completely fallen apart." The Corporal started to trek up the hill towards the
house. Eren and Jean followed, eyes still wide with amazement, as if the house
might disappear if they blinked.
The house proved to be a stout log cabin, and even in the dim moonlight Levi
could see that the walls were coated with moss and the remains of plant life
that would doubtless bloom again in the summer. There were some sizeable cracks
in the wood, but the simple fact that the house hadn't completely fallen apart
yet was a testament to the skill of whoever had built it, over a century ago.
The roof was still there as well. Even the door was sort of intact, although a
large part had rotted away and what was left was barely hanging on by a very
rusty metal hinge. Levi carefully pushed the door open, half expecting it to
crumble into dust at his touch. It didn't, although the rusty hinge shrieked
something awful. The Corporal carefully stepped inside, Eren and Jean right at
his heels.
Inside, everything was covered in a thick layer of dust that rose up into small
clouds as it was disturbed by their footsteps. They could hear the skittering
of small animals that had made their homes inside the building. Jean
immediately broke into a coughing fit, and Eren thumped his comrade on the back
to bring him out of it, although perhaps a bit harder than was strictly
necessary. The first thing the three of them noticed after Jean had calmed down
was the sizeable hole in the middle of the ceiling, allowing for a shaft of
moonlight to illuminate their surroundings. It was still too dark to make out
anything but a few dark shapes inside, however, so they spent several minutes
cursing and groping about for wood and kindling to start a fire. This was then
followed by several more minutes of cursing as they tried to get a spark to
catch. Finally, Eren was able to start a small blaze in the center of the room,
throwing a warm light on their surroundings and allowing the three soldiers to
get a proper look at the inside of the house for the first time.
Right now, they were in what appeared to be a central sitting area, since there
were remains of furniture around them. There was an old wicker chair, sizeable
chunks of which had been gnawed away by animals. A rotting sofa, with huge
tufts of stuffing poking out between rusty metal springs. The rusted metal legs
of what had probably at some point been a table or chair. And on the floor, a
few scraps of worn, ragged cloth that might have been a carpet at some point.
Now, even the color of what little fabric remained couldn't be determined.
There were entryways leading into other portions of the house, as well as a
broken old staircase leading up to a second floor. However, the fire didn't
quite stretch to the other rooms, and they were still shrouded in darkness.
"Let's all just stay in this room for tonight," Levi said. "We can't see shit
right now, and the last thing I want is for one of you to trip over something
you can't see and break your neck."
Eren was immediately attracted to a large, square-shaped object at the far side
of the room, resting on a decaying chest of drawers. He didn't know what the
hell it was, and the thing only got more mysterious upon closer inspection. The
side that was facing him was made of a large glass screen, with a hole the size
of Eren's fist smashed through it. The other three sides were made of some kind
of black material that the turquoise-eyed soldier had never seen the likes of
before. Eren reached out and brushed his fingertips against the square object's
surface. It was cool and smooth to the touch underneath a thick layer of dust,
but it didn't feel quite like metal or wood. Just what had the people of the
past used this thing for?
"Don't go around touching shit, brat." Levi's voice startled Eren out of his
thoughts. The turquoise-eyed soldier turned around to see the Corporal staring
at him from next to the fire, arms crossed over his chest. "That stuff's
filthy, and we don't know if your freaky regeneration abilities prevent against
infection or whatever if you hurt yourself."
Eren looked longingly back at the mysterious square object that had captivated
his attention. "But sir, this thing could be useful to us!" He exclaimed,
peering inside the hole in the glass screen. "Look...there's wires in here!
Like with 3D Maneuver Gear, only smaller." Eren knelt down to examine the box a
bit further. At the very bottom, he could just make out a tiny row of indents
underneath all the dust. "And there are buttons on here too!"
"Jaeger!" Levi snapped. At the tone in his voice, Eren was instantly on his
feet and facing the Corporal. "I am ordering you not to touch that thing! Now
get back over here right now."
"Yes, sir! Sorry sir!" Eren replied, hurrying back over to the fire. The
Corporal could be really scary when he was angry.
For several long minutes, everyone was silent. The three soldiers stared into
the flickering yellow flames, that were casting dancing shadows against the
walls. Emotions swirled through Levi, Eren, and Jean, ranging from gratefulness
at still being alive to terror of what would happen when the sun came up. Would
the same Titan be able to find them again? Would others show up?
It was Eren who spoke first. "Captain Levi, sir, what kinds of people lived out
here before the Titans came?"
Jean snorted. "People who all got eaten, that's who."
Levi looked at his subordinate, who was currently staring intently at the fire.
The flames lit Eren's eyes up, bringing out their intense color. Levi found
himself wishing, for just a moment, that those bright eyes were focused on him
instead. "That's...an odd question, Jaeger," he replied. "Why the curiosity?"
Eren shrugged slightly. "I dunno. I never heard much about the world before the
Walls and the Titans, is all. Bits and pieces. My teachers never talked about
it, and anyone who brought it up got yelled at."
"No surprise there," Levi said. "It's forbidden by law to talk about the
outside world, you know."
"But why, sir?" Eren asked. He was looking at Levi now, and the Corporal's
throat suddenly felt dry at looking into those fierce turquoise eyes lit up by
the fire.
"I don't really know, to be honest. We've come across relics of humanity before
on expeditions, obviously. Old structures, remnants of tools, that sort of
thing. It drove Hanji wild to see all that shit. You know, whenever there's
some kind of mystery she gets all excited about it. Doesn't rest until she
solves it." Levi's mouth quirked upwards, ever so slightly, at the thought of
his friend.
"She brought some shit back to the Walls once, after an expedition.
Unfortunately, the Military Police got wind of it. Bastards raided Hanji's lab
and destroyed it all. I'd never seen her so angry before. She was raging and
screaming obscenities at them. Poor Berner had to hold her back, or else Hanji
would have attacked them. Erwin was only able to keep her out of jail because a
lot of people owe him favors."
Eren was still looking intently at Levi, as if he expected the Corporal to say
more. "So no, Jaeger, I don't know what any of that shit does," Levi said,
gesturing towards the box. "The political climate being what it is these days,
I doubt anyone'll find out anytime soon."
Eren turned back to look at the fire. That familiar spark of righteous anger
was shining in his face, but the brat didn't start angrily ranting like Levi
had thought he would - and like Jean had expected, based on the surprise in the
other boy's face. "Thank you for answering my question, sir," Eren said
quietly. Once again, the room was filled with silence.
Eventually, Eren and Jean fell asleep, bathed in the warmth of the fire. Levi,
however, was wide awake. A sick feeling of dread had settled in his stomach. He
was at a complete loss of what to do. They had only just barely survived one
Titan, and who knew how many more of them would show up? Were they even safe in
this house? Levi knew damn well that a Titan could smash right through what was
left of the roof as if it were made of toothpicks. For all he knew, a Titan
could be close by right now. The thought sent shivers running down Levi's
spine.
Should they continue foraging for food and water in the forest as if nothing
had happened? Levi supposed that technically they could only go out at night,
when the Titans would be inactive. But even that was problematic. Wild animals,
decreased visibility, and the higher likelihood of getting lost were all very
real dangers out here at night. So just what the hell should they do?
Levi glanced over at Eren, curled up asleep on the dirty floor, wrapped up in
his cloak. Would he be forced to let Eren transform? Was it possible for them
to survive if Eren didn't transform? The Corporal knew that they might be able
to get out of this forest right away if Eren transformed. The brat would have a
better chance at fending off any Titans they came across, and Eren in his Titan
form would be a much faster mode of transportation than simply going on foot.
But all the same...Levi couldn't help thinking about the stories he'd heard, of
Eren's transformation at Trost. The soldiers spoke of it in nervous whispers
sometimes, when they thought Levi wasn't listening. The bloodcurdling roars,
the furious rage in the boy's eyes...the way he'd lost control and attacked his
own sister... Could Levi afford to risk that?
The Corporal sighed harshly, running a hand through his short dark hair. Since
when did I get so attached to the damn brat that I don't know if I can kill him
anymore?
Chapter End Notes
     I was going to end this chapter on a cliffhanger as well, but decided
     that would be too cruel. ^-^ In the next chapter, some exciting new
     developments of the Ereri variety!
     And a question for my lovely readers: Does anyone know where I can
     read the newest translated chapter of "A Choice With No Regrets?"
     White Flower Translations, where I was reading the previous chapters,
     decided to drop the project. And I need my Levi fix... T^T
     Thank you to all the wonderful people who've left comments and kudos!
     It always makes me very happy to see that people enjoy my writing.
     *blushes*
     (Bonus points of you can figure out what mysterious object it is that
     Eren's examining. ^^)
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren is forced to transform.
Chapter Notes
     I've had a few people wonder how Levi and Co. managed to get past
     Wall Maria to the outside world proper. The way I see it, since it
     was only a small expedition to start with, they just ran as fast as
     they could straight through Maria at night, when the Titans weren't
     active. I think that if you just went in a straight line aiming for
     the gates, and went as fast as possible, you could probably make it
     through by torchlight in one night. Obviously this strategy isn't
     feasible for exploring past the Three Walls or wandering around
     looking for The Basement, when you aren't traveling in such a direct
     route. But I think such a strategy could get them out past the Walls,
     at least.
     TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Scenes of blood, gore, and
     violence. Nothing worse than in actual canon, IMO, but I'm giving a
     heads-up anyway so no one gets triggered.
     I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. ;) Hopefully you guys will
     have just as much fun reading it! And without any further ado, enjoy~
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Levi must have dozed off at some point, because his dreams were full of Titans.
He was standing in the middle of the forest, without even a blade at his side
for protection, while great hordes of the monsters closed in on him. The Titans
all stared down at Levi with their terrifying, blank, glassy eyes. Their
tongues lolled out of their mouths, long strands of drool dripping down the
Titans' faces as they salivated in expectation of a meal. Hiding would be
useless; there were simply too many Titans for Levi to be able to escape them
all. All he could do in his dream was stand there and wait for the end to come.
Meanwhile, the ground around him shook with the Titans' thunderous steps, as
hundreds of pounds of flesh came lumbering towards him.
The worst part, however, was the sickening knowledge that Levi had failed his
subordinates. Eren and Jean were nowhere to be seen, probably fermenting in the
middle of a Titan's stomach right this moment. Levi had failed them. They were
never going to make it back to the Walls, were never going to see their friends
ever again. He had failed them...
Just as one of the Titans was bending down to snatch Levi up and put him in its
mouth, his eyes snapped open. Levi's breath came hard and fast, as if he'd just
run a mile without once stopping. For a few minutes he simply sat there,
letting himself calm down as he clutched his cloak tightly to his body. Levi
looked over at Eren and Jean, who were still sleeping peacefully next to the
last few glowing embers of the fire. A few rays of morning sunshine were
pouring in through the cracked and dirty windows of the cabin, gently
illuminating the house in a soft light. It was just a dream, Levi thought
firmly. They're still OK. Everyone's safe. It was all just a dream...
But if it was just a dream...then why could Levi still hear and feel the
booming, thunderous pounding of Titan footsteps? It were shaking the house,
causing what was left of the windows to rattle in their frames. And the sounds
were getting louder by the moment. Levi could feel the pounding in his body,
reverberating through him, rattling his very bones...
Suddenly suffused with panic, Levi leapt to his feet and ran to the door of the
house. He peeked his head outside, only to see his worst fear not only
realized, but rapidly approaching. For a moment it felt like Levi's heart had
stopped beating, his veins filled with a terror that felt like ice.
Titans. At least five or six of them, from what Levi could see, including the
ridiculously huge white-haired one from yesterday. The rest of them were all
smaller, probably around five- to seven-meter classes by Levi's estimation.
Without 3D Maneuver Gear, though, even the smallest Titan was too much for them
to take on.
Levi ran back inside, cursing loudly and prodigiously. Jean was slowly waking
up, just opening his sleepy amber eyes as the Corporal walked in. Eren, of
course, was still fast asleep. It never failed to amaze Levi just how dense
these two could be sometimes. They'd sleep through the apocalypse itself if
Levi let them. "Get the fuck up, Kirschtein!" He shouted. "We've got trouble!"
Jean's eyes widened, all traces of tiredness quickly replaced by fear and
panic. "Wha-?" He muttered, struggling to untangle himself from his cloak with
panicked, flailing limbs. The amber-eyed soldier's eyes furrowed in confusion
as his still sleep-addled brain finally registered the booming sound of the
Titan's footsteps. "Wazzat sound...?"
Levi ignored Jean for the time being in favor of shaking Eren's shoulder.
"Brat, get your ass up! Titans are coming our way!"
Predictably, the word Titans woke Eren up faster than a bucket of ice water to
the face. The brat's eyes flew open, and he leapt to his feet so quickly that
he nearly knocked Levi over. "Titans!?" Eren shouted, his voice suffused with
rage despite having just woken up. "Where?"
Jean had managed to get to his feet as well, and was now desperately trying to
put his boots on. "Oh shit," the amber-eyed soldier muttered under his breath.
"Oh shit oh shit oh shit how did they find us..."
If their circumstances had been any less dire, Levi would have laughed at how
ridiculous Eren looked then. His furious demeanor looked completely at odds
with his sleep-mussed clothes and messier-than-usual hair. The brat's cloak was
in a pile of crumpled green material around his feet. Levi picked it up and
practically threw it into Eren's arms. "Get your damn boots on and let's get
the fuck out here," he snapped, hurrying back to the door. Levi could hear Eren
and Jean following, Eren practically tripping over his own feet in his rush to
put his boots on.
Upon reaching the doorway and seeing the Titans only a few hundred yards away,
all the color drained from Jean's face. He fell to his knees, clutching at the
short spikes of his ash-brown hair. "This is it," Jean muttered. "This is how
I'm going to die." He barked out a short, panicked burst of laughter. "I never
thought it would end like this..."
As he watched the Titans approach, Levi knew that he had no other choice. He
certainly didn't like it, but there was simply no other chance of survival
otherwise. It was impossible to outrun the Titans on foot, and the Corporal
knew they wouldn't be so lucky as to find a hiding place that would keep them
safe from a whole group of Titans. And a choice between certain death and a
chance at survival was no choice at all, really.
Levi turned to face Eren. His eyes were intent on the boy's face, imparting the
seriousness of their situation. "Jaeger," he said. "I'm ordering you to
transform."
Eren looked the very picture of shock. "But Captain, you said that I wasn't
allowed to - "
"Well, obviously the situation has changed!" Levi snapped, throwing a panicked
glance over his shoulder at the approaching Titans. Their roars were
practically deafening at this distance. Nearby, clusters of trees were being
dashed against the ground in the wake of giant footsteps. Jean was still on his
knees next to Levi, his entire body trembling with fear. "Jaeger, if you don't
transform now, we're all going to die. I'm trusting you to be able to control
yourself long enough to kill these Titans, alright? When you transform, pick
Kirschtein and I up and put us on your shoulder. I'll cut you out after the
Titans are all dead."
Eren's face lit up with that beautiful mixture of anger and conviction, the
same passion that had attracted Levi to the brat in the first place. The
turquoise-eyed soldier's expression was so intense now that Levi probably would
have gotten hard had their lives not been in terrible danger at the moment.
"YES SIR!" Eren shouted, his voice clear and passionate above the roars of the
Titans. Eyes narrowed in fierce concentration, he lifted his hand up to his
mouth.
I have to keep Levi and Jean alive...
Levi trusts me.
I have to keep Levi alive...
With those thoughts racing through his head, Eren bit down. His teeth ripped
right through the skin of his hand as if it was paper. For a brief moment
Eren's mouth was filled with the salty, slightly bitter taste of blood, but it
was quickly replaced by the rush of transforming into a Titan. Thick, ropy
strands of muscle wrapped around Eren's body as his Titan form rose hundreds of
feet above the ground.
Levi closed his eyes tightly against the blinding orange light accompanying
Eren's transformation. He crouched down, bracing himself in front of Jean as a
strong wave of hot air rushed over them. The next moment it was over, and the
roar of Eren's Titan rang in the Corporal's ears, practically shaking the
ground at their feet. Levi looked up at the hundreds of feet of skin and muscle
that made up Eren's 15-meter Titan form. The brat was currently staring down at
them with glowing green eyes amidst a tangle of long brown hair. His teeth were
bared in that toothy, creepy-ass smile his Titan form always seemed to have.
Eren bent down and gently laid his enormous hand on the ground at Levi and
Jean's feet. Levi jumped up into the Titan's palm, practically dragging Jean
along with him. The amber-eyed soldier had apparently not gotten used to his
comrade's Titan form yet, and this combined with two close brushes with death
in as many days had rendered Jean a pale, wide-eyed mess. "Pull yourself
together, Kirschtein," Levi growled, wrapping one of his arms tightly around
Eren's middle finger while gripping Jean about the waist with the other. Jean
let out a sound like a dying puppy, but nodded fiercely.
The next moment they were being lifted up through the air. Levi watched the
ground recede below them, the cabin becoming a small brown dot on a vast
expanse of white dotted with the dark green of trees. The Corporal and Jean
were deposited neatly on Eren's right shoulder, and Levi reached out to grab a
lock of the Titan's long brown hair. He gripped it firmly like a rope and
swinging over to rest next to his subordinate's great pointed ear. Jean grabbed
a lock of hair as well, clinging tightly to it while bracing himself against
the long column of Eren's neck.
"Let's go, Jaeger!" Levi shouted into Eren's ear. The brat's roar of
acquiescence was so loud that it physically hurt Levi's ears, causing him to
wince slightly in pain. Then Eren was running forward, clearing the last few
yards between himself and the approaching Titans in only a few bounds.
One of the Titans made a clumsy swipe at Eren, which he quickly sidestepped,
before counterattacking by smashing the monster's head in with one well-aimed
punch. Blood went splattering everywhere, though luckily none of it landed on
Levi and Jean. The Titan's headless body came crashing down to the ground,
smashing a few dozen trees as it did. Eren roared happily, and Levi winced
again. Really, he'd have to talk to the brat about this roaring business once
they were out of danger. Eren was even louder in his Titan form than he was
normally.
"Behind you!" Levi shouted, catching a glimpse of movement out of the corner of
his eye. Eren cried out as one of the smaller Titans managed to bite into his
leg, before whirling around and smacking the head right off of it, as if he
were swatting away a particularly annoying fly. The Titan's body fell to the
ground beside the form of its now lifeless companion.
"To the left!" Jean yelled, and Eren turned just in time to kick in a Titan's
skull before it could bite him. Another Titan ran at Eren from the same
direction, and the Titan shifter grabbed it by the arm and yanked it around so
that he could bite out the back of the monster's neck. Blood splattered across
Levi's uniform in thick crimson ropes, and the Corporal let out an angry growl
of frustration. This was hardly the first time he'd gotten hit with Titan
blood, of course, but he'd always been able to at least change clothes
immediately after the battle. Fucking great, Levi thought angrily. Walls
fucking know when I'll be able to wash this shit out. It'll probably stain,
too.
Levi glanced over at Jean, who was still maintaining his balance against Eren's
neck. The amber-eyed soldier's face was starting to take on a green tinge,
however, and Levi hoped desperately that Jean wouldn't throw up. It was
difficult enough to balance on Eren's giant, quickly-moving form without having
to deal with vomit going everywhere too.
The Corporal didn't have much time to worry about his clothes, however, as he
spotted a giant fist come swinging down towards Eren's head. It belonged to the
white-haired Titan, easily the biggest of the bunch - it stood a whole head
above Eren. "Dammit Eren, look out!" Levi bellowed into his subordinate's ear.
Eren looked up and grunted in surprise, managing to leap aside just in time to
avoid getting everyone crushed to death.
Eren's swift movements had the unfortunate consequences of causing Jean to lose
his footing and go tumbling off of Eren's shoulder. He was only saved a ten-
meter drop to his death by his iron grip on Eren's hair. "Agh! Fucking hell,
asshole!" Jean swore at his comrade, who was now punching the fifth Titan's
face into a pulp of shattered bone and bloody muscle.
Levi bit off a violent curse before kicking off against Eren's shoulder and
using the brat's hair as a rope in order to swing over to where Jean was
dangling in the air. "Grab my hand, Kirschtein!" The Corporal shouted. Jean
reached out a clammy palm and grasped Levi's hand in the same death grip he'd
been holding onto Eren's hair with. Levi pulled the younger soldier up against
him, and swung back over to Eren's shoulder.
Wrapped inside the warm, pulsing cocoon of muscle, blood, and sinew that was
his Titan form, Eren's emotions always seemed more potent. Namely, his rage
against the Titans, and his sorrow at the family and friends they had stolen
from him. Eren clenched his teeth in a fierce snarl, seeing in every Titan that
fell before him the same monstrous, inhuman grin of the Titan that had
swallowed his mother so many years before. The turquoise-eyed soldier could
almost see Carla in the Smiling Titan's grip, her thin shoes dangling off of
her feet as the Titan put her in its mouth. He could see his mother's body
exploding in a garishly red burst of blood. If Eren concentrated, he could
almost hear the sharp snap of his mother's bones as they broke against the
Titan's great white teeth...
Eren's Titan form roared, a deafening bellow that caused the nearby trees to
tremble right down to their roots. He drove his foot straight into the gut of
the Titan corpse below him, sending bits of blood and guts flying everywhere.
The monster was already dead, its body quickly evaporating and filling the air
with hot steam. But still, Eren didn't stop. He continued smashing his foot
into what was left of the Titan's corpse. I'll kill it, he thought, every foot
of his massive Titan form taut and quivering with rage. I'll kill every last
fucking one of these damn Titans!
"Eren!" Levi shouted, from where he and Jean were clinging to the wild locks of
brown hair close to the Titan shifter's ear. "Eren, that Titan's dead already!
We need to take the big one down!" The Corporal glanced nervously over his
shoulder at the white-haired Titan, which was charging towards them once more.
The thing's great mouth was agape, long, sticky strands of saliva flying out
around its huge, squared teeth...
Eren whirled around so quickly that Levi and Jean were both thrown off of his
shoulder and into the air. Letting out a feral roar, Eren sunk his teeth into
the white-haired Titan's side. Great spurts of blood burst into the air around
Eren's mouth, and the larger Titan howled in pain, stumbling and falling to the
ground on its knees. The monster's wound started regenerating the second Eren
released it, but the Titan shifter didn't stick around to watch. Eren took off
at a run through the forest, trees falling left and right as his giant body
crashed through them. Only one thought was going through his mind. Kill them.
Kill all the Titans. Eradicate them, paint the world red with their blood!
Levi grabbed Jean about the waist, saving the amber-eyed soldier from flying
headfirst into a nearby tree. The Corporal used Eren's momentum to swing around
on his subordinate's hair, landing him and Jean at the nape of the Titan
shifter's neck. "You alright, Kirschtein?" He grunted. Shit, Eren's losing
control! I have to cut him out, now!
Jean was white as a sheet and breathing hard, clearly winded from flying around
on Eren's Titan body, but the amber-eyed soldier nodded weakly. "Ye-yes, sir."
"Good. You'll need to hold on as if your life depended on it, Kirschtein.
Because, well, it does."
Jean nodded again, and wrapped his hands tightly around Eren's hair once again.
He winced as Eren's hand flew out to clasp around a smaller Titan's head as he
ran past it, crushing the monster's skull with a loud crack. "Go ahead,
Captain," Jean said, his voice a bit steadier as he looked at Levi with
determined amber eyes. "I'll be fine, just go and save Eren. You're the only
one who can, after all."
Levi's mouth twitched up for half a second in the ghost of a smile. Guess
you're not half-bad after all, Kirschtein. The Corporal grabbed another lock of
Eren's hair and swung over to land at the base of the Titan shifter's spine. He
knew that, underneath the pulsing skin at his feet, the real Eren lay curled up
in a nest of guts. Still, I don't want to cut him out if I can help it.
Regeneration or not, it'll be a real pain in the ass if I accidentally cut off
his limbs. "Eren!" He shouted, pounding on the skin and muscle of the brat's
Titan form. "Eren Jaeger, can you hear me?! You have to come out now!"
"-ren! Eren, come out!" A sharp voice drifted into Eren's awareness, weaving
its way past his Titan form's roars and the deep thrum of pulsing muscle and
vein around him. Controlling his Titan took a great deal of energy and
concentration, and Eren was so very tired. Hmm...Captain Levi...he thought
drowsily. My Captain Levi. Won't you please touch me...?
Eren closed his eyes. He was so tired...surely the Corporal wouldn't complain
if he rested for just a moment? After all, pulling and clawing his way free
from his Titan would take just as much energy as controlling it, if not more.
Taking a brief nap couldn't hurt. Once he was refreshed, Eren would pull free
and rejoin Levi and Jean. For now, though, the Titan shifter allowed himself to
drift farther and farther away from the world around him. His Titan form
continued to run, powered by blind rage as it smashed past everything in its
wake.
"Goddammit Eren!" Levi cursed. He might as well have been pounding against the
wall of an abandoned building for all the response he was getting from brat.
The Corporal tried desperately to force down the panic building up deep in his
gut. What if Eren was dead? What if he was too late to save his subordinate?
Muttering every curse word he knew under his breath, Levi raised his swords and
plunged them both deep into the flesh of Eren's nape. Blood spurted out around
the sharp steel blades in great arcs, splattering against Levi's face and
clothes and completely drenching him in crimson. It was disgusting and
horrible, but the Corporal refused to think about the blood right now. He
started hacking away at the Titan's skin and muscle, carving away chunks of
flesh as he struggled to reach the human boy beneath.
Inside the groggy haze of his mind, Eren was no longer wrapped up in the warm,
pulsing flesh of his Titan. He was lying atop his bed down in the dungeon of
the old Survey Corps HQ, waiting for Captain Levi to come down and chain him up
for the night. Eren let out a huge yawn, stretching his arms slightly above his
head. He was exhausted after a hard day's training, and even the thin mattress
and rough quilt of the dungeon bed felt like heaven against his aching body.
The turquoise-eyed soldier heard the sharp, precise sound of Corporal Levi's
footsteps echoing down the stone stairs, and he struggled to pull himself up
into a sitting position. Levi came up to the barred door of Eren's cell and
stopped, the candle he was holding casting a soft, flickering orange glow on
the rough stone walls and floor of the dungeon. He gently put the candle down
on a small wooden table outside the cell and slowly walked in, shutting the
creaky iron door quietly behind him.
Eren noticed that the Corporal wasn't wearing his usual impeccably neat Survey
Corps uniform. Instead, Levi was dressed in a loose shirt and pants that seemed
more suitable for lounging about than in commanding respect from one's
subordinate. Levi's short hair seemed darker than usual in the dim light,
falling like spilled ink around his ears and contrasting against his pale skin
and sharp jaw. The Corporal's eyes rested on Eren's face. Their usual hard
steel color had softened in the candle light, into something more like a smoky
quartz color. He's beautiful, Eren thought, his cheeks turning bright red at
the thought.
The turquoise-eyed soldier fisted his hand against his heart in a salute.
"Sir?" He said, the word coming out more as a question than a firm affirmation.
Levi had never looked at Eren like this before. The usual stern expression Levi
wore whenever he so much as glanced in Eren's direction had made him despair of
his commanding officer ever seeing him as more than just a subordinate, albeit
one who was a powerful weapon in humanity's war against the Titans. Now,
however...Levi was looking at Eren as if he was Levi's most precious person,
someone to be treasured and admired.
"At ease," Levi said with a soft chuckle, and Eren's hand dropped to his side
more out of surprise than anything else. He had never heard the Corporal make
any sound that might even be close to a laugh before. And...and was Levi
smiling? It was just the tiniest upwards curving of the older man's lips, but
it was enough to get Eren's heart beating double-time against his chest. He
hadn't thought Levi's mouth was capable of smiling at all. Yet Levi smiling
right now, and just for Eren. Only Eren.
Levi walked slowly over to Eren, and sat gracefully down on the bed beside him.
Eren's face felt so warm right now that he was surprised steam wasn't rising
from it. The Corporal was so close, closer than he'd ever been to Eren before.
The turquoise-eyed soldier could feel the hard muscles of Levi's thigh pressing
gently against his own, could feel the heat radiating off of Levi's body.
"You've wanted this for awhile, haven't you now, Eren?" Levi whispered. "I can
see the way you look at me, when you think I'm not paying attention." He
chuckled again, a soft, rich sound that Eren was quickly getting addicted to
hearing. "You want me to touch you, hm?"
Eren's eyes widened with surprise and embarrassment. Had he really been so
transparent that Levi needed to confront him about it? "I'm sorry, sir," he
mumbled, turning away from his commanding officer to stare at the wrinkles in
the bedsheet beneath his hand. "It won't happen again."
The turquoise-eyed soldier felt a strong, calllused hand gently but firmly
cupping his chin, guiding him back to look at Levi. His commanding officer's
smile had widened fractionally as he stared at Eren with those
uncharacteristically gentle, smoky eyes. "Don't be," Levi whispered. "I've
wanted you too, Eren, for awhile now. I'll give you what you want."
Eren felt the Corporal's long fingers move upwards to gently, soothingly caress
his cheek. Despite the rough calluses on the pads of Levi's fingers,
doubtlessly formed from long hours of wielding swords in battle, the older
man's touch felt heavenly on the warm skin of Eren's face. Eren sighed softly,
leaning into his commanding officer's touch. If this is a dream, I don't ever
want to wake up, he thought dreamily.
-x-
Levi cut away at the Titan's flesh until he was finally able to uncover Eren's
face and upper torso. Beneath the long, thick strands of muscle connecting his
subordinate's human body to the Titan one, he could see that Eren was still
breathing. Oh, thank the Walls he's not dead. "Eren," Levi said, digging his
hands into the wet, bloody flesh around Eren's head in order to gently cup the
young soldier's cheeks. "Eren, you need to wake up." He leaned down and pressed
his forehead against Eren's. "Please wake up."
"Mmmm," Eren mumbled, so quietly that Levi wouldn't have heard it at all if his
head hadn't been touching the younger one's. "Mmmm...Captain Levi..."
Huh? Levi thought. He pulled away from Eren, his brow furrowing in confusion.
What the fuck...is the brat dreaming about me or some shit?
"Please touch me, Captain..."
OK seriously, what the fuck? Almost against his own will, Levi's eyes flicked
down to Eren's crotch, and...yep, the brat had a hard-on. Of course. Eren's
Titan form would be going on a mad rampage through an uncharted forest miles
away from human civilization, and the brat himself would be having a wet dream
about his commanding officer.
Not for the first time since they'd been stranded out here, the Corporal was at
a loss for what to do. Should he just cut Eren out now and wait for him to wake
up on his own? Of all the times Eren had transformed at the old HQ, he'd always
been able to emerge from his Titan's nape on his own. Once or twice Levi had
needed to cut him out, if the brat had exhausted his energies doing some inane
task for Hanji in his Titan form. However, Eren had always been conscious those
times as well. If Levi cut him out now, would Eren be able to regain
consciousness afterwards?
There was only one thing Levi could think of doing in order to get Eren's
attention. If he was being perfectly honest, it was something he'd wanted to do
for a long time now - though not while desperately clinging to the bloody nape
of Eren's Titan form, obviously. Levi bent his head down and kissed Eren on the
lips, hard.
His mouth filled with the coppery, bitter taste of blood, which was
unsurprising. There was so much of it everywhere, around Levi and on him.
Beneath that, however, was another taste. Rich and slightly sweet, a bit like a
piece of dark chocolate Levi had had for a state holiday once, when he was very
young. It was a nice taste, and somehow undeniably Eren. "Wake the fuck up
already, brat," Levi whispered gruffly, stroking his thumbs across Eren's
cheeks.
Wake up...
Eren's eyes slowly opened, revealing clouded yet still vibrant green-blue eyes.
His eyelids felt like ten-pound weights. The mental image of Levi sitting next
to him on his bed and gently caressing his face blurred and then vanished, only
to be replaced by a blurry image of Levi bending over him with a look of
desperation and...affection? Eren could feel the pulsing muscle and flesh of
his Titan form around him once more, now mixed with the unpleasant warmth and
stickiness of drying blood. Did I lose control? Did Levi have to cut me out?
Shit...is everyone OK?
Eren groaned drowsily, his head aching fit to burst. He didn't want to think
anymore. "Captain," he mumbled, lifting his heavy arms and wrapping them
loosely around Levi's neck. "I'm...I'm alright, sir."
"I can see that," Levi muttered, relief seeping into his voice. "Hang on, we're
going to cut you out now. Kirschtein!" He yelled over his shoulder.
There was a slight grunt, and then Jean came swinging over on a lock of Eren's
Titan hair to land next to the Corporal. "Yes, sir?"
"I need you to cut the muscle connecting Eren to this damn Titan while I hold
him, alright?" Levi grunted. His arms tightened around Eren, pulling the brat
closer to his chest.
Jean nodded and unsheathed one of his blades as Levi wrapped his arms around
Eren, grunting as he pulled the boy free of his Titan body as much as he
possibly could. There was a disgusting squelching, sucking sound as Eren's
human body was removed from the cocoon of flesh. Steam started to rise in
clouds from the nape of the Titan's neck, the body starting to fall apart
without Eren inside of it. "Now, Kirschtein!"
Jean's blade flew through the air with a sharp whistle, neatly severing the
muscles connecting Eren to his Titan. The turquoise-eyed soldier's body slumped
in Levi's arms as he fell unconscious. Meanwhile, Eren's Titan form came to a
shuddering stop and started to fall. "Hold on!" Levi shouted, tangling his hand
firmly in long brown hair as the ground started to rush up beneath them in a
white blur. Jean closed his eyes against the wind rushing against his face,
clinging tightly to the nape of the Titan's neck.
There was a crash that must have been heard for miles as Eren's body impacted
against the forest floor. Hitting the ground felt like it jarred every single
one of Levi's bones, but luckily the Titan's massive body was enough to cushion
the fall so that he wasn't injured. A quick glance over at Jean proved that the
amber-eyed boy was similarly unhurt.
Jean slowly released the Titan's nape and took a deep breath. Smoke started to
rise in thick plumes around them as Eren's Titan form began disintegrating in
earnest. "Is Eren alright, sir?" He asked, gazing with concern at his comrade's
body held tightly against the Corporal's own.
Levi could feel Eren's breathing against him, deep and even. Each inhale and
exhale sent relief flooding through his tense muscles. He had no idea where the
hell they were, or what they would do from here. But for now, the fact that
Levi could answer Jean's question was enough. "Yes. Eren will be alright."
Chapter End Notes
     The chapters should be getting distinctly more Ereri-filled now. (I'm
     excited. ^_^) Of course, this doesn't mean that Eren and Levi will
     lie around and do nothing but have sex while abandoning Jean to his
     own devices. The boys still need to get out of the forest, of course,
     so there's plenty more plot to come!
     You guys can look forward to another Jean interlude coming up very
     soon. Because Jean needs love too. :3
     As always, your comments and kudos are my lifeblood. They are the
     fuel that keeps these chapters coming. Thank you all so much for your
     attentions. *bows*
***** Interlude 2: Jean and Levi *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi and Jean have a heart-to-heart.
Chapter Notes
     Oh my gosh. OK, wow, I suck. It's been a month since this story
     updated. I was having a ton of trouble getting out the next chapter
     for my other fic, "In Dreams," so the update for BtW got pushed back
     while I was trying to finish that up. I'm so sorry, everyone. ;-;
     *hides in shame*
     Anyway, have another Jean interlude!
     WARNINGS: Slight mention of (minor) character death. This chapter, I
     think, is a much-needed reprieve from the insanity that has been the
     last two chapters.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Not wishing to attract the attention of more Titans, Levi and Jean left the
steaming, quickly disintegrating remains of Eren's Titan behind with haste.
They hiked through the forest for what felt like several miles, picking their
way over rocks and icy patches and around the exposed, knobby roots of trees. A
chilling breeze had picked up that seemed to cut right through Jean's cloak,
making his teeth chatter and his body tight and shivery. On top of that, he and
Levi were both covered in dirt and dried Titan blood, which made their little
hike just that much more uncomfortable.
The entire time, Levi carried Eren's unconscious body on his back. Eren's arms
were slumped around Levi's shoulders like dead weights, and the Corporal had
placed the boy's legs firmly about his waist. Jean had to admire Levi's
fortitude in carrying a body that was at least a head taller than the
Corporal's own. Jean was carrying all of their packs and bundles, which were no
small weight on their own, but he still had a feeling that Levi was bearing the
greater weight. Eren needs to stop taking all of those "second helpings" of
stew at dinner. Second helpings my ass, he takes enough to feed all of the
people in Connie's backwater village, I bet, Jean thought grumpily.
Jean noticed that Levi's face was starting to show just the tiniest bit of
strain. There was a wrinkle between his brows that definitely hadn't been there
twenty minutes ago, and Jean noticed a few drops of sweat trickling down the
side of the Corporal's face. "Sir, if you'd like, we can switch off for a bit,"
Jean offered. "I can carry Eren for awhile, if you carry the packs."
Levi looked at Jean out of the corner of his eye. "That's alright, Kirschtein,"
he grunted, pausing for a minute to readjust Eren's legs around his waist.
"Eren is my direct subordinate, after all, so it's my duty to take care of him
if he becomes incapacitated." The Corporal started walking again, and Jean
followed with a frown of confusion on his face. Was it just him, or had Levi
somehow gotten more protective of Eren over the last few hours?
They stopped to make camp underneath the large trunk of a fallen tree, as the
sun was hanging low and heavy on the western horizon. The tree had fallen
against a large rock, leaving a space underneath that was protected from the
worst of the snow and wind. It wasn't a large space, but after spending the
last few weeks pressed up against Eren and Levi in the World's Tiniest Cave,
Jean was used to these kinds of things.
Jean spent the last few remaining hours of daylight gathering sticks and small
branches for firewood around their campsite, while Levi sat watching over Eren.
Between the two of them, Jean and Levi managed to get a fire going, albeit in
about twice the time it would have taken Eren to do so, and with many muttered
curse words in the process. (Jean had to admit that even though Eren was an
idiotic, suicidal asshole, he was pretty damn good at starting fires). The
amber-eyed soldier felt positively triumphant when they finally managed to get
a blaze going.
Levi cleared a swath of snow next to the fire, and laid Eren's still-
unconscious body out to rest beside the blaze. The Corporal even took off his
own cloak, bloodstained though it was, and draped it over Eren's body. Levi and
Jean had scrubbed their faces and hands clean with snow as best they could, but
there wasn't much either of them could do about their clothes. They'd changed
into their rough animal skin-and-fur outfits, just to have something clean to
wear. Although they both looked like wild hobos, it was still better than
spending a prolonged period of time in their bloody, dirty Survey Corps
uniforms.
Jean and Levi ate a small amount of their remaining dried meat rations by the
fire, just enough to quell the worst of their hunger pains. "We have to stretch
what's left of this, unfortunately," Levi said, frowning deeply at the rough
rabbit skin pack that held their dwindling amount of food. "I don't know when
we'll be able to go hunting again, unfortunately. It'll have to be soon,
though." Jean just nodded in reply as he stared at the fire, trying not to
worry about where his next meal was coming from.
The amber-eyed soldier relaxed a bit once the sun went down, taking comfort in
the knowledge that he wouldn't need to fear Titans in the dark. Jean would much
rather face a pack of wolves or a bear than Titans. It was sort of funny, he
thought with a wry smile. Throughout history, humanity had been afraid of the
dark, had huddled inside next to fires and lamps in order to escape the
seemingly impenetrable blackness. And now, Jean looked forward to the relief
and safety from Titans that was brought by nighttime. How strange it was, the
ways in which old customs and beliefs had been turned on their heads by the
arrival of those monsters.
Levi was preoccupied with Eren, sitting close by the soldier's prone form and
watching as Eren's chest rose and fell with each deep, steady breath that he
took. Almost absentmindedly, it seemed, one of the Corporal's hands had buried
itself amid Eren's locks of messy brown hair and was gently stroking his scalp.
Jean thought he saw Eren sigh slightly in his sleep at the touch, but he could
have been imagining it. His comrade certainly showed no signs of stirring
anytime soon, at least. Jean knew that it was taxing for Eren to transform,
knew that the turquoise-eyed soldier was often knocked out for a day or two
afterwards. Still, Jean had to push down the fear that Eren would die out here
in the woods. Although the two of them often bickered and argued and fought,
Jean genuinely didn't want Eren to die. Annoying or not, Eren was his comrade,
and Jean had lost enough comrades at Trost to know that he didn't want to lose
any more.
Not to mention, they would all be well and truly fucked without Eren's Titan-
shifting ability. Unreliable though it was, Eren's Titan was their best (and
possibly only) hope of making it back to the Walls in one piece.
Sighing slightly, Jean moved his Survey Corps jacket a bit closer to the fire
in order to warm it. The jacket was slightly damp as well as dirty, and the
amber-eyed soldier wanted the garment to at least be dry, if it couldn't be
clean. With how cold it had been today, he might very well need the extra layer
of insulation his jacket would provide. A slight rustling sound caught Jean's
attention as he smoothed the fabric out on the ground before the fire, and his
eyes fell to the jacket's front pocket, where the tiny corner of something
white was peeking out.
Jean's eyes went wide with panic as he suddenly remembered the portrait he'd
grabbed from the cabin the night before. It had been lying underneath one of
the old cabinets, and Jean had accidentally nudged it out with his foot when
he'd laid down to go to bed that night. The image it bore had ignited his
curiosity, so he'd decided on the spot to take it with him. With a quick glance
around to make sure Levi and Eren weren't looking, Jean had snatched the bit of
paper up and tucked it in his coat pocket. He'd completely forgotten about it,
with all the action that had been going on today.
Levi was gazing intently at the fire, his hand still half-tangled in Eren's
hair. The Corporal appeared to be thinking about something, though Jean had no
idea what it could be. He understood Levi about as well as he understood why
Titans ate humans - which was to say, not at all. Still, Levi wasn't paying
attention to Jean right now, and the amber-eyed soldier wanted to examine the
picture more closely, now that there was a quiet moment. Once Eren woke up and
got back to picking fights with him all the time, Jean had no idea if he'd ever
be able to look at the portrait again. With another quick glance to make sure
the Corporal still wasn't looking at him (he wasn't), Jean reached into his
pocket and drew out his treasure. In one smooth motion, he drew his knees up
towards his chin, and placed the picture upon them, leaning back slightly so as
to better look at it.
It looked like a family portrait of some kind. Such things were common among
the wealthy elite of Sina, with family members all dressed in their best
clothes and standing stiffly around in the parlor while they were painted.
However, this portrait was unlike any Jean had ever seen before. For one, the
paper it was printed on was smoother and shinier than any Jean had seen before.
It felt almost slick to the touch, his fingertips skating pleasantly across it.
Despite the portrait's age, Jean didn't think he'd ever come across a more
high-quality bit of paper. He wondered if it could even be written upon, the
paper was so smooth. It seemed as if ink would just slide right off of it.
In the picture, a man, a woman, and a small girl were standing together
underneath a tree, with dappled sunlight shining down on them through its
leaves. They were a family, from the look of it. The man had one arm wrapped
over his wife's shoulders and the other holding his daughter close, grinning
happily in their presence. The woman's long, loose hair floated about her head
as if it had been caught in a playful breeze. Her mouth was open in laughter,
eyes shining brightly with happiness and love for her family. Her arms were
wrapped loosely around the little girl's, one of her hands resting gently over
the man's. The girl, who looked to be around five or six years old to Jean, had
her hair woven into two long braids that fell down to her waist, tied with
brightly colored ribbons. She was beaming at the camera with a silly gap-
toothed smile, clearly having lost a few baby teeth. The girl's arms were
hugging what had to be the fluffiest cat Jean had ever seen close to her chest.
Even the cat looked happy, nestled comfortably in the girl's arms with its long
fluffy tail brushing gently against her knees.
The people in the picture looked relaxed and at ease, as if the painter had
managed to capture them all in one swift movement, without the portrait's
subjects ever needing to stand still. Whoever had painted this must have been
quite skilled indeed, as Jean couldn't see any brush strokes or misapplied
paint. It looked incredibly realistic, as if Jean was looking through a window
and into a real image from the past. Looking at the picture now, he couldn't
help feeling a little sad. This family, which looked so happy and carefree, was
gone now. They had no idea of the horrors that were soon to occur, that this
idyllic scene would soon be ruined by giant, ravenous monsters that would push
humanity to the brink of extinction. Had they been the previous occupants of
the now ruined cabin? Was that where this picture had been painted? Jean
wondered when the Titans had come and eaten these people. He winced as a brief,
unwanted image flashed in his mind of the little girl, screaming bloody murder
and crying as she slid slowly down a Titan's gullet. Jean hoped desperately
that she had somehow managed to escape that fate.
"Kirschtein?" Levi's sharp voice drew Jean out of his musings. He looked up
from the portrait to see the Corporal glaring at him, his eyes turned molten
silver in the firelight. "What are you looking at over there?"
"Um...uhhh..." Jean stuttered with nerves. He didn't want to think of how much
trouble he'd be in for this. Levi had expressly ordered him and Eren not to
touch anything in the cabin, and here Jean had gone and ignored that order.
Disobeying a direct order from a superior officer was just about the worst
thing a soldier could do in the army. "It's...um, it's nothing, sir." He tried
to surreptitiously shove the portrait underneath his jacket, but Levi was too
fast for him. In one swift movement, the Corporal had snatched the paper from
Jean's fingers. Levi brought it up close to the flames, and Jean thought for a
moment that he planned to burn it. But Levi merely examined the picture, gazing
at it with furrowed brows.
For several long moments, everything was silent save for the crackling and
popping noises made by the fire as it burned. Jean looked on with growing
unease as the Corporal continued to merely look at the picture, ignoring Jean
completely. Levi's face was inscrutable as always, and Jean had no idea just
what the shorter man was thinking. He squirmed slightly, wishing that Levi
would just hand out his punishment and spare Jean the agony of waiting for one.
Finally, Levi tore his eyes from the picture to look back up at Jean. "You took
this from the cabin, didn't you," he said flatly. It wasn't a question.
Jean nodded. "Yes...yes, Captain, I did. And I'm really, really sorry! I know
you told us not to touch anything, and I know that it was stupid and dangerous
of me to do so! I just...I wasn't thinking, and please don't have me court-
martialed for insubordination, sir - "
Levi held up a hand. "Enough, Kirschtein," he said, stopping Jean's babbling in
its tracks. "I can't very well court-martial you in the middle of fucking
nowhere, can I? Not like I even have the authority to do so anyway, that's
Erwin's thing. Or maybe Zackley's, I don't know." He sighed slightly. "Do you
even know what this is?"
"Um...it's a portrait, sir?"
"Not quite," Levi said, sounding a bit amused. "This is something called a
photograph. People took them with a little square device called a camera. It
was kind of like...making an instant, very high-quality painting, I suppose.
They were quite common before the Titans came, from what I understand."
"Huh?" Jean was confused. Why was Levi explaining this to him, instead of
meting out punishment? And what was all this talk about photographs and
cameras? Making a painting instantly sounded like crazy talk to Jean. Even the
fastest painters took a few weeks to produce quality work, and some paintings
took months or even a year to finish. No device could possibly ever mimic that
kind of work. He wondered if spending the last two days on the brink of death
had somehow addled Levi's mind. "How do you know all this, sir?" He asked.
"Hanji has some very old books about this kind of stuff. Highly illegal
contraband, of course, but since when has that shitty four-eyes ever cared
about a little thing like the law? Anyway, I've flipped through a few of them
while she was busy ranting and raving on about Titans." Levi sounded almost
fond of the Squad Leader to Jean, which only served to deepen the amber-eyed
soldier's confusion.
"Sir..." Jean found himself asking again. "If I might ask a question...what do
you think happened to those people in the, um, photograph?" Jean regretted the
words as soon as they were out of his mouth. Stupid, stupid, do you want him to
get angry with you? You already disobeyed his orders, don't fuck it up even
worse!
Levi turned away from Jean to stare into the fire. For what felt like a very
long time, the Corporal was silent. His hand had resumed stroking Eren's hair.
Jean was just about to apologize for being so forward and beg for Levi's
forgiveness, when the shorter man finally spoke. "What do you think happened to
them?"
Now it was Jean's turn to be quiet. What the hell had he expected Levi's answer
to be? That the people in the photograph had somehow managed to survive? That
they'd managed to find a place to live out their lives free of fear? Some kind
of reassurance that it was possible to be free and happy in a world of
monsters? Stupid... "I know they were probably eaten by Titans, sir. I'm sorry
I asked you such a dumb question..." He looked away from Levi's eyes, made
somehow even more intense by the firelight, and stared at a bit of dirt on his
boots.
Levi's response surprised him. "Kirschtein, I'm not going to punish you for
curiosity. In any sane world, curiosity is a virtue that should be encouraged.
Which is why I'm not going to punish you for disregarding my orders, this time.
So you can relax, I'm not about to bite your head off."
The unexpected praise had Jean looking back up at the Corporal, wide amber eyes
meeting steadfast gray. "Thank you, Captain," he said softly. He could have
sworn in the next instant that Levi had smiled, just a little bit. It could
have been a trick of the firelight, however, because any hint of a smile was
gone in the next instant.
Levi was surprisingly relaxed, very much unlike the hardass Titan killer whose
only thoughts seemed to center on keeping Jean, Eren, and himself alive. Jean
had never guessed that the Corporal would have this softer, caring side hidden
away. He wanted to find out more about Levi while the opportunity presented
itself, so that the man wouldn't be such an enigma. So Jean kept talking. "When
did you see your first Titan, sir? I didn't see a real one until Trost, myself.
It was...terrible. A thousand times worse than anything I learned about Titans
during basic training." Jean laughed, a dry, humorless sound. Great. I wanted
to have a conversation, and instead I'm telling Captain Levi about how much of
a scaredy-cat I am. Good going, Jean.
"You're right, there's no way to prepare for seeing a Titan," Levi agreed.
"Those crappy wooden targets they have you practice with in basic aren't even
close. And no amount of lecturing in a classroom will help when you're facing
one of those bastards down." There was another long moment of quiet before Levi
spoke again, his voice a soft murmur over the flickering flames. "I saw my
first Titan on my first expedition outside the Walls. I'd only been in the
Survey Corps for a few months at the time. Seeing one of them for the first
time scared the piss out of me." He snorted slightly. "Literally."
Jean's eyes went wide at the thought of Humanity's Strongest wetting his pants
in front of a Titan. "I pissed myself too," he admitted, feeling less bad about
it now that he knew Levi had had the same reaction to seeing a Titan for the
first time as well.
"Most soldiers do, the first time they see one. You never get quite used to
seeing a Titan, after all. You stop pissing your pants, but the fear and panic
don't go away. You just learn to control them, to channel those emotions into
anger, so that you can fight."
Jean nodded, his eyes falling once more to Levi's hand in Eren's hair. "Captain
Levi, sir...could I ask you a personal question?"
Levi narrowed his eyes slightly. "You can, but I might not answer it."
Jean spoke quickly, wanting to ask the question before he lost his nerve. "What
are your feelings towards Eren, sir?"
Now it was Levi's turn to look surprised. "Well, that's something I'm trying to
figure out," he replied. "I'd like to discuss things with Eren when he wakes
up, and we'll figure out where to go from there. No matter what happens though,
I won't neglect you out here, Kirschtein. Your well-being is just as important
to me as Eren's."
Jean nodded. "He likes you, you know," he said without thinking. Immediately
afterwards, the amber-eyed soldier's face took on a panicked expression. "I- I
mean," he stuttered, "that he respects you as a commanding officer, sir, and -
"
Levi chuckled - actually chuckled - and the shock of hearing that sound from
Levi of all people caused Jean's words to die in his throat. "I figured that
out already," Levi said. "The brat's incredibly obvious about his feelings.
Eren and I will need to talk about it later." Levi yawned slightly, stretching
his arms up above his head as he got to his feet. "Time to turn in for the
night, Kirschtein. We'll have a long-ass day tomorrow, I'm sure." The Corporal
picked Eren up and started walking to their crude shelter for the night.
"Captain Levi," Jean said, getting to his feet as well and throwing a few extra
branches onto the fire. "If you'd like...you can call me Jean. It's a lot
easier than saying 'Kirschtein,' I think."
This time, Jean knew he wasn't imagining it. Levi was smiling. It was just the
tiniest quirk of the lips, but Jean knew it was genuine. "No one's actually had
the balls to say that to me before," he said. "Alright, Jean. Get under the log
and go to sleep."
Just as he was about to duck under the log with Eren in tow, Levi paused and
turned back to Jean. "As long as we're out here...you can just call me Levi.
There's no one to get on my ass about military protocol, after all. Now don't
get me wrong, you need to address me by my proper rank when we return to the
Walls." He gave the amber-eyed soldier a stern look to make sure the message
had gotten through, but it lacked any anger or malice.
Jean grinned. "Sure thing...Levi."
Chapter End Notes
     Ugh, Levi and Jean are such dorks. :3 I love them to bits.
     (Eren is a dork too, but he spent this entire chapter unconscious. YA
     MISSED OUT, EREN. XD)
     Thank you so much to everyone who left comments and kudos, as usual.
     You're all darlings. *kissu*
     Let's hope I can get the next update out in less than a month. I'm
     sorry again, everyone. u.u Look forward to some sweet Ereri action
     next chapter, and maybe some smut as well~.
***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Summary
     Eren and Levi decide that it's time to end the UST and finally start
     a relationship.
Chapter Notes
     Hopefully you've all come to expect an incredibly irregular update
     schedule from me by now. I must be the world's slowest writer,
     honestly. u.u Doesn't help that I had no motivation to write last
     week, either. But I finally got my butt in gear and finished this up.
     Please don't hate me? *hides*
     This chapter is, I'm sure, the one you've all been waiting for.
     Mainly because there's smut in it. ;) Levi and Eren don't go all the
     way (yet), but they do fool around a little bit.
     Enjoy, darlings~
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Eren had no idea where he was or how long he'd been lying in bed for, and he
honestly couldn't care less at the moment. This had to be the most comfortable
bed in the universe, a far cry from his uncomfortable and cold sleeping
arrangements down in the dungeons. Eren felt as if he was floating on a warm,
soft cloud wrapped in clean, fresh white linens. His head rested on fluffy
pillows stuffed with down, and a warm, soft wool blanket was pulled up around
his shoulders.
Just lying still on that bed, surrounded by warmth and softness on all sides,
felt like heaven after weeks on end of sleeping on cold, hard surfaces. Lately,
Eren had been trying to deal with the misery of trying to sleep while pressed
against Jean's sweaty, snoring body on one end, and desperately fighting down
an erection from the closeness of Levi's body on the other end. There was no
longer any need to lie awake for hours on end, watching the moon and stars
wheel in the dark sky overhead while a thousand different worries gnawed at
Eren's stomach: Are Mikasa and Armin OK? Did the rest of Squad Levi make it
back inside the walls safely? Is the rest of the Survey Corps out looking for
us right now? How are we going to get enough food to survive out here? What if
Jean or Captain Levi gets sick? What if the Titans come and eat us while we're
asleep? And all of these stupid feelings I have for Levi...
"Eren?" He drowsily turned his head to the side to see Levi, curled up in bed
next to Eren and smiling at him, actually smiling. Eren felt his cheeks heat up
at the warm, loving gaze Levi was giving him, as if Eren was a priceless
treasure that he would never tire of looking at. Levi laughed slightly at
Eren's blush, and Eren's bright eyes widened in surprise. Smiling was one
thing, but laughing? Eren felt a warm, light feeling invade his chest and
stomach at the thought of his Corporal smiling and laughing at him. For him. It
felt as if he could simply float up off the bed, he was so happy. He grinned
back at Levi, who pressed closer to him under the blanket.
Eren's blush deepened further upon the realization that he and Levi were both
stark naked. Had they...had they done it? Eren didn't feel any pain, but then
again he only had the vaguest ideas about how sex worked. Growing up, staying
alive had been more of a priority than sex ed had been. Mikasa was going to
kill him. Or Levi. Most likely she'd kill Levi.
Levi's smile only deepened at Eren's blushing, nervous face. Holy hell, he has
dimples, Eren found himself thinking. The Corporal reached out a pale hand and
gently caressed Eren's cheek. His skin was warm and callused from endless hours
of wielding his blades in battle. Eren found himself leaning into the touch,
smiling slightly. The pleasantly warm, light feeling returned as Eren reveled
in the fact that finally, at long last, Levi was touching him. It was as if all
of Eren's wet dreams and wild fantasies had come true, and it was wonderful.
"Eren?" Levi whispered, his breath ghosting across Eren's skin as he leaned
forward to press a gentle kiss to his subordinate's forehead. "Eren, I need you
to do something for me."
"Hmm...anything..." Eren murmured, wrapping an arm carefully around Levi's
nicely muscled torso. Right now, he just wanted to cuddle with Levi like this
forever.
"I need you to wake up," Levi whispered softly into the turquoise-eyed
soldier's ear.
Eren pulled back slightly, brow furrowing in confusion. "What do you mean, wake
up? I am awake."
Levi didn't clarify, merely continued to smile at Eren. He caught the fingers
of Eren's hand and began to caress them softly. "You need to wake up, Eren.
Wake up. Come back to me."
"Huh...?" Eren didn't have any idea what the Corporal was talking about. Had
Levi been hit on the head or something? Why was he talking nonsense, when Eren
was clearly awake and with him right now?
"Wake up, Eren," Levi repeated, whispering it over and over like a mantra. His
smile didn't fade, but Eren noticed that Levi's words had taken on a slight
edge of desperation. "Please come back..."
...wake up...
please wake up...
Eren became acutely aware of a harsh pounding inside his head. It felt as if a
Titan had decided to use his skull as a drum. So it was just a dream...
Groaning, he opened his eyes, blinking them several times until his vision
sharpened into focus. He was met with the rough bark of a fallen tree over his
head, and the crackling warmth of a fire nearby. His entire body felt stiff and
sore all over from lying on the cold, hard ground. "Uuuggghh..." Eren groaned,
lifting a hand and pressing it against his aching forehead. Even that simple
effort took as much effort as dragging a sack of weights across the training
grounds would.
"You're awake," Levi's voice came from somewhere nearby. It sounded rough from
equal parts exhaustion and relief. Eren turned his head slightly to see the
Corporal sitting next to him, wearing his crude deerskin robe and holding a 3D
Maneuver Gear part full of water. Levi's skin looked paler than usual, and the
circles under his eyes seemed darker. Had he stayed up to watch over Eren all
this time?
"Mmm...Capatin Levi...?" Eren mumbled. He still felt pretty out of it. "How
long...was I asleep for?"
"About a day and a half. Sit up slowly, alright?" Levi's firm, strong hands
positioned themselves at Eren's head and back, helping to gently guide the
turquoise-eyed soldier into a sitting position by the fire. Eren's head spun
slightly from the movement, and he winced as the muscles in his back popped.
"Now drink this." Levi handed Eren the container of water, which he eagerly
began to gulp down. His throat felt like thick, gummy sandpaper after so long
asleep. Levi snatched the container back almost immediately. "Slowly, brat.
Don't make yourself sick, now."
Eren nodded and reached for the water again. Sighing slightly, Levi brought the
container back up to Eren's lips. The turquoise-eyed soldier wrapped his hands
around the cool metal before Levi had a chance to let go. Eren's fingers wove
over Levi's own, trapping his hand in place against the old 3D Maneuver Gear
part. Eren's fingers were warm and slightly callused, and the touch was far
from unpleasant. Levi found himself enjoying the way their hands and fingers
fit together as Eren resumed drinking, more slowly this time.
When the container was half-empty, Eren let go of it completely, allowing Levi
to put it down next to the fire. For once, the brat wasn't blushing at how
close they had been. Probably Eren had been too thirsty to dwell on it. The
turquoise-eyed soldier wiped his mouth, tucked his knees up to his chin, and
stared intently at the fire, as if the flickering flames held the answers to
all of life's mysteries. Levi could tell by the pained look in Eren's eyes and
his furrowed brow that the brat was beating himself up over his transformation.
It hadn't exactly gone smoothly, after all. "How are you feeling?" He asked,
wanting to bring Eren out of his brooding. Nothing was worse than a moody
teenager, honestly.
Eren shrugged a shoulder. "OK, I guess. My head hurts, but it's starting to
feel a little better now." Eren looked at Levi, and the worry in his eyes
tugged at the Corporal's heart. Damn, the brat looked so much like a kicked
puppy when he was upset. "Captain Levi...I lost control again, didn't I?" Eren
pressed his forehead against his knees, but not before Levi noticed the
telltale sheen of tears over Eren's bright eyes. "Dammit!" Eren pounded a fist
into the ground at his side. "I was so sure I could handle it this time..."
"Eren..." Levi had no idea what he was supposed to say. He'd never been any
good at cheering people up. Hell, the closest thing he'd ever come to words of
encouragement was yelling "don't fucking die" over his shoulder at his squad
before they rode into battle. But for Eren, right now, he would try to be
gentler. "Listen, Eren." Levi gently rested his hand over his subordinate's
fist, causing Eren's teary eyes to meet his once more. "You performed
admirably. If you hadn't transformed, we would all be rotting in a Titan's
fucking stomach right now. You didn't try to hurt Jean and I at all."
"But what did I do, sir!?" Eren practically shouted frustration evident in his
voice. "I remember transforming and beating in a Titan's skull, but after
that...nothing. Why can't I remember anything?" A lone tear slid down the
brat's cheek, and Levi fought down the urge to reach up and wipe it away. Damn
this kid. I haven't felt soft like this for anyone in at least a decade.
"You didn't really do much of anything, brat," Levi said, a bit of his usual
gruffness returning. "Just ran around for a bit in the woods, and I had to cut
you out, is all. Don't be so damn hard on yourself over this. What matters is
that we all survived."
"I need to learn how to control myself, though!" Eren replied, running an
annoyed hand over his already messy hair. "I'm no use to anyone if I pass out
for over a day after each transformation, and then you guys need to take care
of me! I'll only slow you and Jean down, and we'll never make it back to the
Walls...we'll just freeze to death out here!"
"Eren, look at me," Levi said harshly. Eren recognized an order when he heard
one, and so he lifted his face up to meet Levi's. "Look, I'm no good at this
kind of shit, so I'm only going to say it once. Do you know what people call
us? Not soldiers, but the regular civilians living out their lives inside the
Walls?"
"Uh, well..." Eren sounded confused, and Levi couldn't really blame him. He had
no idea where he was going with this, either. "Well, they call you Humanity's
Strongest, sir."
"Right. And do you know what people call you on the streets, Eren? The people
who are just trying to get by, scrounging together enough food to feed
themselves and their families? The people who are living out their lives as
best they can, inside those miserable, shitty Walls?"
Eren looked down at his knees once more and mumbled something. "What was that?"
Levi said. "I couldn't hear you, brat. Look at me and repeat what you just
said."
This time when Eren met Levi's gaze again, there was a spark of that usual,
familiar fire in his eyes. "They call me Humanity's Last Hope, sir." The way
his shoulders slumped told Levi all he needed to know about the weight that
title heaped onto Eren. The responsibility of being the only known person who
could truly make a difference in humanity's fight for survival was so huge that
it might as well be a physical burden. Levi felt the same way whenever he was
called "Humanity's Strongest."
"Exactly," Levi murmured. "'Humanity's Last Hope, and Humanity's Strongest. As
much as we dislike those titles, they represent what the people think of us.
The people inside those walls are putting their very futures into our hands.
They are fucking counting on us to free them from Titans, from the shitty-
smelling prison that they're currently trapped in."
Eren was staring at him in shock. Levi didn't blame him. He had no idea where
the hell this little speech was coming from or where it was going. Levi could
only keep saying the words as they popped into his head and hope for the best.
"This is why we have to return to the Walls, Eren. You won't lose control of
your damn Titan form and die out here because I won't let you. Just like I'm
certain you won't let me die out here in the middle of fucking nowhere, either.
And neither of us will let Jean die. We will return to the Walls, because all
of humanity is fucking counting on us. They've put their fates in us, and it is
our duty not to let them down."
Levi sighed heavily at the finish. Damn, that was hard. "I hope you were
listening the first time around, because I'm not fucking doing that again," he
said to Eren, who looked a bit shell-shocked at this point.
"You..." Eren started, hesitantly. He stopped for a moment, as if collecting
his thoughts, then continued. "You...called me by my first name, sir. Not
Jaeger, or brat. And you called horseface by his first name, too...Where is
Jean, anyway?" Eren looked around the campfire, just now realizing that his
comrade wasn't present. Knowing Jean though, he was about to pop out from
behind a bush with some snarky comment, the bastard.
Levi snorted. "Is that really what you're going to focus on, out of everything
I just said? And Jean's gone to check on some of the animal traps he set while
you were asleep. He should be back in a little bit. You fucking brat." He
enunciated the last word on purpose, and Eren laughed. A genuine, happy laugh
for the first time in what seemed like forever, and it made Levi's heart skip a
beat to hear it.
The next thing he knew, Eren had thrown himself forward into Levi's arms. The
Corporal's eyes went wide at the impact. He should have known - Eren never did
anything gently. All of his movements were filled with that passionate
intensity that had drawn Levi to him in the first place. Almost automatically,
Levi's arms went up to wrap around Eren's shoulders, holding his warm body
close. "Thank you, sir," Eren mumbled into his neck, his voice hitching
slightly. Levi felt wetness there, which meant that Eren was crying again. Levi
rubbed gentle circles into Eren's shoulders with one hand, trying to soothe the
turquoise-eyed soldier.
How long had Levi wanted to do this for? To just hold Eren close, feeling his
heart beat wildly against his own, feeling his too-warm body pressed against
his? Levi vaguely wondered if maybe he had died, and this was his reward for
having put up with so much shit while he was alive. But all of a sudden, it
seemed that Eren realized just what the hell he was doing. The brat was pulling
himself away, face flushed red as a tomato. "I - I'm sorry, Captain Levi, I
have no idea what came over me, I won't - " Eren stammered.
"Oh, for fuck's sake," Levi muttered. Without really thinking about anything
beyond the fact that he wanted Eren's body close to his own again, he moved
forward and pressed his lips firmly against Eren's.
"Mmph!" Eren cried out, as whatever he'd been about to say next was so quickly
stifled. The turquoise-eyed soldier flailed his arms slightly, as if trying to
get away, but Levi grabbed his wrists in one hand and wrapped the other around
the back of Eren's neck, drawing the boy closer to himself. Eren sighed
slightly into his Corporal's mouth, and pushed himself against Levi once more,
now returning the kiss with fervor.
Levi had no idea if Eren had kissed anyone before - and frankly, he didn't want
to think too hard about that prospect - but the brat certainly wasn't
experienced. Eren kissed as if he was trying to devour Levi's mouth. He
couldn't deny that it felt wonderful, that the intensity of it all was stirring
Levi's cock up to strain against the front of his stupid animal skin robe.
Eren's lips were slightly chapped from the cold, and just the furious yet
strangely gentle slide of his tongue against Levi's own was more fucking
arousing than it had any right to be. The rich taste of him filled Levi's
mouth, and he knew he had to stop now, before things went any further. Levi
needed to make sure Eren was OK with all of this before he did anything else.
The Corporal gently but firmly brought his hands up and pushed Eren back
slightly. Eren's lips were red and slightly swollen, his hair even more mussed
up than usual. The brat looked at Levi, pupils blown wide and hazy with want,
and it took all of Levi's self-control not to just take him then and there.
"Eren," he murmured, looking straight into his subordinate's bright, beautiful
eyes. "I've known for a while now that you've had feelings for me."
Eren's face went redder than Levi had thought was humanly possible. The brat's
cheeks could have been mistaken for ripe tomatoes at a distance. "H-huh?" He
stuttered. "But - but - you knew? Sir, I didn't mean any disrespect - "
Levi placed a finger across Eren's lips, effectively silencing him. "Shut up,"
he said, though the words lacked any sort of venom. "You wear your heart on
your sleeve, brat, it's impossible for anyone with eyes to not know what you're
thinking. Listen," he leaned forward slightly to rest his forehead on Eren's,
his murmured words ghosting across Eren's mouth and sending a shiver down
Eren's spine. "I'll admit that your feelings are...reciprocated. I've had my
eye on you for quite some time, actually."
Eren leaned back, putting a few inches between himself and his commanding
officer. A myriad of different emotions were flickering across his vibrant
eyes. Shock and confusion most of all, but there was a giddy sort of happiness
mixed in as well. "I - I don't understand, sir. Are you...saying that you
actually want to - "
"Yes Eren, I want to, for lack of a better way to put it, have a relationship
with you. And while we're stuck out here in the ass-end of nowhere, I want you
to call me Levi. Just Levi, no 'Captain' or 'Sir.' Of course, you'll have to
address me properly once we return to the Walls - as long as there are other
people around, that is."
Eren's face went, if possible, even redder. Seriously, there was no way that
was healthy. "I told Jean he could do the same while we're out here," Levi
added, hoping to make Eren feel more at ease. It didn't work as well as he'd
hoped.
"You - you told horseface he can call you by your first name?! Who are you and
what have you done with Captain Levi?" Eren sputtered.
Levi resisted with some difficulty the urge to roll his eyes. "Look brat, will
you or won't you?"
"Wh-what?"
"Eren, you can't possibly be this stupid. Do you or do you not wish to have a
fucking relationship with me? I'll understand if you don't want to." Levi's
heart sunk at saying those words, but he knew that this had to be Eren's
choice. He certainly couldn't force Eren into a relationship. "I'm quite a bit
older than you, and I'm your commanding officer as well. These types of
relationships aren't forbidden, exactly, but they're
certainly...unconventional. I'm not planning on advertising it if you and I get
together, but people talk and these things have a way of getting out. People
might give us looks. Some people will certainly disapprove. People will
definitely fucking talk about us. Will you be ready for all of that?"
Eren's mouth worked furiously for a moment, but no words came out. He gave up
trying after a moment and just threw himself forward into Levi's arms once
more. This time Levi wrapped his arms firmly around him and held Eren tight
against his chest. He could feel the fierce beating of Eren's heart against his
own once more, and it felt wonderful. After a moment, Eren looked up at him and
smiled slightly. "I'd like nothing more, Levi." He said his commanding
officer's name slowly, relishing the way those two syllables sounded without a
title attached to them.
Levi smiled back, a true and unmistakable smile, for the first time since Eren
had met the man. It made Eren feel pleasantly warm all over to see it. Levi
gently lifted Eren's chin up with two fingers and drew him once more into a
deep kiss. This one was much less frantic than the first, a slow, sensual slide
of tongues and lips. Levi used each swipe of his tongue against Eren's, each
soft press of lips, to teach the boy how to kiss properly rather than trying to
bite Levi's mouth off. His brat proved to be quite the eager student, and with
each swipe of tongue, and gentle nip of teeth, Eren caused Levi to become more
and more aware of his hard cock pressing insistently against his thigh. A quick
glance downward at the conspicuous bulge in Eren's trousers showed that he was
clearly dealing with a similar problem.
Once again, Levi broke their kiss. The both of them stared at each other with
lust-blown eyes, panting heavily as if they'd just run a mile. Eren moaned
slightly, leaning forward in the hope of more kisses, but Levi put up a hand to
stop him. "Eren," he murmured, leaning in close. "I want to put my mouth on
you."
Eren's eyes went wide, and he reeled backwards so fast that he fell over onto
his back. The bulge of his confined cock seemed even more prominent from this
angle. "Uh - what?! Sir - I mean, Levi - do you mean - ?"
"Yes brat, it means that I want to suck your cock," Levi practically growled
out, his persistent arousal making it difficult to keep his patience. "Is that
alright?"
"Well, I mean - I've got the general idea of it, but - I've never - " Eren
continued to sputter, and it was just so awkward and endearing that Levi had to
lean forward to kiss him again.
"Don't worry," Levi whispered against Eren's lips. "I'll make you feel good."
He lowered himself over the turquoise-eyed soldier, caging Eren's body between
two powerful arms. Levi slowly undid the button of Eren's pants, causing him to
whimper and squirm a bit at Levi's proximity to his most sensitive place.
Things only got worse when Levi caught Eren's fly between his teeth, carefully
pulling it down to reveal the brat's boxers.
As much as he wanted to take his time and pleasure Eren slowly, Levi knew that
Jean could come back at any moment. It would lead to no end of awkwardness, and
mortified embarrassment on Eren's end, if Jean were to catch them mid-blow job.
So Levi settled for pulling Eren's pants down to his knees, taking his boxers
down with them. The ground was warm enough this close to the fire, so at least
he didn't need to worry about either of them being too cold. Eren helped Levi
along by lifting his hips up, letting out a sigh of relief as his cock was
finally exposed to the air. It stood tall and proud, a bead of clear white
precum leaking from the tip. Levi gently swiped the bit of liquid away with his
thumb, causing Eren to let out a soft moan and buck his hips slightly. Levi
couldn't help chuckling slightly. He'd barely even done anything, and he
already had Eren this aroused. The boy was truly sensitive.
Levi bent down, the tips of his short black hair brushing against Eren's thigh
and making him let out a breathless giggle, that quickly became another moan
when Levi blew gently across the tip of his dick. "Please...Levi, please," Eren
gasped.
Levi let out a soft, dark chuckle. "Please what, Eren? What would you like me
to do here, hm?" A callused thumb began to tease Eren's slit ever so gently,
causing him to buck up once more in the hope of getting more contact. "Your
cock is so hard right now, after all. It can't be very comfortable for you."
"Levi!" Eren cried out. "Please stop teasing me. Just do something, anything. I
don't care what. Just...touch me. Please."
"As you wish," Levi murmured, and he leaned his head down to give a long, slow
lick down the length of Eren's dick. Eren watched, transfixed, as Levi gently
put the head of his cock into his mouth and started to suck.
"Ahhh! Ah! Levi! Levi, Levi, Levi!" Eren cried out. The wet suction and heat
surrounding him now felt absolutely wonderful, ten times better than any of his
fantasies. He instinctively tried to buck his hips, tried to fuck Levi's warm
mouth, but quickly found himself held down by Levi's hands. Warm, strong
warrior's hands, touching Eren exactly as he'd wanted. His cock gave a twitch
at the thought.
"Don't fucking do that, Eren," Levi said warningly. "I have a gag reflex just
like anyone else, and I don't think you'll like it if I get puke all over your
dick. Be a good boy and stay still, alright?"
"OK, OK," Eren moaned. He would have done anything at this point to get Levi's
mouth back on his dick. That mouth which was swollen and red, and which was
still connected to his dick by a thin strand of saliva. "I won't move, OK?
Just...please..."
Levi's mouth went back down on him, and he bobbed his head until he'd taken in
all of Eren's dick. He hollowed his cheeks and sucked firmly, swallowing down
the salty taste of precum and Eren's skin. It tasted pretty clean, actually. Of
course, any member of Levi's squad was bound to have some ridiculously good
hygiene after awhile. Not bad, he couldn't help thinking to himself. He thought
of Eren washing his dick, of his subordinate keeping himself nice and clean
just for Levi, and his cock twitched against his thigh.
Eren was practically howling now, Levi's name mixed in with random, incoherent
babble. He was wriggling and squirming underneath Levi's hands, and the
Corporal knew that if he let up his firm hold on the brat he would absolutely
start bucking up into Levi's mouth again. Still, with the way he could feel
Eren's balls tightening, it couldn't be too much longer...
"Levi...Levi, I'm gonna, I'm gonna..." Eren was babbling now, his hands
reaching out to grasp Levi's wrists. He just wanted to have something to hold,
as it felt like he was falling to pieces with pleasure.
Come for me, brat, Levi thought, and gave one last hard, firm suck. He relaxed
his throat just as Eren's cock spasmed and the boy released with one last cry
of Levi's name. Levi swallowed down Eren's thick, salty cum, grimacing at the
taste. Gross. Still, swallowing the stuff down was neater than just spitting it
out on the ground. Less mess. And he couldn't deny that it made him feel good
to have brought Eren, his Eren, such pleasure.
But Levi had a more pressing problem. Literally. His cock felt like it was
trying to pierce its way out of his boxers - the one item of clothing he'd felt
was reasonably clean enough to wear after the events of a few days ago. Long
past caring about what Eren would think, he yanked up the hem of his deerskin
robe and pulled down his boxers, hissing out a relieved "Fuck" when his cock
was finally free. It stood up proudly, the tip red and leaking, much as Eren's
had been earlier.
Not wanting to pressure Eren, Levi would have been content to just jack off in
front of him. But then he felt a warm, long-fingered hand gripping his cock
firmly, and Levi looked up to see Eren hovering above him. The brat's eyes were
gleaming with the same kind of fierce determination Levi normally saw whenever
the subject of killing Titans was brought up around Eren. His cock started to
leak even more profusely at the sight.
But even though he never wanted Eren to let go, even though his firm grip
around Levi's cock felt better than anything, Levi still had to make sure Eren
was comfortable. Things were all moving so quickly, much more quickly than Levi
had intended. Of course, nothing ever went as intended when it came to Eren
Jaeger. "Eren," Levi said, voice husky with arousal, "you don't have to."
"I know," Eren replied. "But I want to, Levi. I want to make you feel good." He
leaned in and captured Levi's lips in a brief kiss. Levi felt more than saw the
brat smile slightly as Eren whispered, "I'm pretty sure I know how to jerk off,
after all."
"There's a difference between masturbating and getting someone else off, brat,"
Levi muttered, but any further words were quickly scattered away when Eren's
hand moved. Levi's head fell backwards as Eren's hand moved slowly up and down
the length of his cock. "Eren," he hissed as Eren wet his thumb in the precum
that was now dripping steadily out of his slit. He slowly stroked the vein on
the underside with his wet thumb. Too slowly. "Faster, Eren."
The turquoise-eyed soldier laughed, a husky sound that made Levi's dick throb.
"Seems like I'm doing something right, huh?"
"Shut the fuck up, brat," Levi growled, and it must have come out sounding at
least a little threatening, because Eren's hand started to move more quickly.
Levi thrust up into it with abandon, letting Eren know with gasps and moans and
the occasional breathless order exactly how he liked to be touched. Eren
gripped Levi's manhood firmly, and it seemed like his fingers were everywhere -
skimming around the head, dipping into the slit, playing along the base - and
Levi just couldn't take it anymore -
He came with a sharp cry of Eren's name, spurts of white splashing onto his
belly. He went limp and boneless, breathing deep and enjoying the sensation of
Eren gently stroking his inner thigh. "Brat, how the hell are you that good at
giving handjobs? You're supposed to be a virgin, aren't you?"
Eren laughed slightly. "I'm glad I was able to make you feel good, Levi," he
murmured, leaning forward to gently kiss Levi on the lips. Some of his semen
had landed on Eren's face, and the sight of it could have made Levi hard again
if he hadn't just had an orgasm.
Whatever smugness Eren might have felt at reducing his commanding officer to
putty was short-lived, as soon as Levi shoved a handful of half-melted snow at
him. "Wash up brat, you're dirty." Eren groaned, but he knew better than to
challenge Levi on matters of cleanliness. He scrubbed his face and hands,
wincing as the cold snow bit at his skin. At least Levi was cleaning himself in
the same way.
There was a soft sound to their right, like someone was clearing their throat.
Levi's hand was on the hilt of his sword by the time he realized it was only
Jean, holding a dead rabbit and a dead crow from the traps in his hands. "Fuck,
give a bit of warning next time," Levi sighed harshly, forcing himself to
relax.
"Good to see you're finally awake, Eren," Jean said, a bit too cheerfully.
"Also, your dick's hanging out."
Levi couldn't help laughing as Eren yelped, and practically fell over in his
haste to do up his fly. He stood up and took the dead animals from Jean in
order to start preparing them. It was good that they'd all had today to relax,
Levi thought. Eren and Jean had definitely deserved it, after all they'd been
through over the past few days.
Tomorrow, the real work would begin.
Chapter End Notes
     jean y u such a troll
     Ugh. These boys are all SUCH dorks, I can't believe them.
     (Translation: I love them so much, and I'm terrified that Isayama is
     going to kill Levi. O.o)
     You're probably wondering why Levi decided to finally start doing the
     frickle-frack with that hot piece of ass Eren after originally being
     quite adamant about it being inappropriate. You'll find out what made
     him change his mind next chapter, don't worry. :)
     You guys are absolutely wonderful, omfg. All the comments and kudos
     just make my life. You're all lovely, amazing darlings. *smooches*
***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi helps Eren practice staying in control of his Titan form, with
     mixed but promising results.
Chapter Notes
     So once again we go roughly a month before an update, because I am a
     lazy bum and also possibly the slowest writer in the universe. :( It
     didn't help that I took a break from working on this to write a
     thirteen-page Lovecraftian fic for the SnK kink meme. It's called
     "curiosity killed the cat," and you can check it out if you're into
     Lovecraft/SnK fusions, I guess.
     This chapter has been brought to you by Fallout: New Vegas, which I
     spent many evenings playing instead of writing this.
     (I'm sorry in advance, Jean).
     Anyways, enjoy!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
The next morning saw Levi, Eren, and Jean all sitting around the fireplace,
eating what was left of last night's dinner. Every now and again Jean would
look at Eren and smirk slightly, causing Eren to blush a fierce shade of red
and pay a bit more attention to his meal than was strictly necessary. Despite
yesterday's events - or perhaps because of them - the turquoise-eyed soldier
was wound up tighter than a watch spring. Levi thought about telling Jean to
knock it off, but decided against it, since he found Eren's reaction at the
slight teasing to be kind of amusing. He laid a subtle yet comforting hand on
the boy's knee, which made Eren relax slightly.
"Alright, you two," Levi spoke up, after they had finished off the remains of
the wild game. "I'm not going to sugar-coat it - we're up a creek of shit
without a paddle here. I have no fucking idea where we are, and neither of you
do either. Not to mention, there's an assload of Titans between us and the
Walls." Eren and Jean were silent, both of them staring into the fire with dull
eyes. They had both known all of this already, but there was something about
hearing Levi say it out loud that made Eren and Jean's hearts feel like they
were sinking into their stomachs.
"The only way we're going to make it back home," Levi continued, "is if we
utilize Eren's Titan powers. He's big enough that we'll be able to see where
we're going, and he can fight off any Titans that stand in our way.
Unfortunately, Eren isn't exactly adept at using his shifting abilities right
now. As it is, we can't risk Eren transforming, since he's likely to go berserk
before we're even halfway out of this shitty forest."
Eren drew his knees up close to his chest, looking for all the world like a
dejected puppy. Levi gently squeezed his shoulder in a comforting gesture.
Jean, meanwhile, was biting his lip and looking between the two of them
nervously. "So what do you propose we do, Levi?" The amber-eyed soldier asked.
"From now on, I'm going to train Eren for a few hours a day in the afternoons."
Levi explained. "He needs to learn how to stay in control while in his Titan
form, and I believe that I can help him do that. Unfortunately, this means that
you'll be on your own around the camp during the afternoons, Jean. I'm putting
you in charge of getting water and setting traps. Eren and I will take care of
hunting and gathering firewood while we're out training."
Jean blushed slightly. The way Levi looked at him as he spoke made it clear
that he was giving Jean a huge responsibility. I'm counting on you, the
Corporal's stern gaze seemed to say. I'm trusting you to make sure that we have
what we need here to survive. "I - I won't let you down!" Jean said with a firm
nod.
Levi smiled slightly. "Good. But don't go more than a mile from the brook, in
any case. I don't want you to get lost or hurt, Jean." The Corporal stood up,
dusting a bit of snow from his pants, and grabbed his pack. "Come on Eren. The
sooner we get started, the better. We should be back by sunset, Jean, so just
wait for us here."
Jean nodded again. "Good luck, you guys," he said, before getting up and
ducking back underneath the tree to retrieve the animal traps.
Eren grabbed his own pack and followed Levi away from the camp. For what felt
to Eren like a long time, the two of them were silent save for the crunching of
the snow beneath their feet, and the occasional snap of a tree branch as Levi
marked their path. It was as if nothing had changed between them, and yet,
everything had. Eren blushed slightly at the memory of Levi's hands on him, his
firm touch as he stroked and caressed Eren in all of the boy's most sensitive
places. Levi's slightly chapped lips pressing against Eren's own, his tongue
sliding alongside Eren's. The turquoise-eyed soldier desperately wanted to say
something, but he was at a complete loss for what he should say. Thanks for the
blowjob, new boyfriend?
Levi stopped suddenly once they reached a clearing, ringed by trees that soared
high above their heads. Eren nearly ran into him, just barely managing to catch
himself before he fell. "Eren," Levi said, turning to face him. "There's
something I need to explain. I have a very specific reason for wanting to start
a relationship with you right now, and I want you to know what it is."
Eren's heart felt as if it had stopped in his chest. He quickly tore his eyes
away from Levi's to stare down at the snow. I should have known, he thought
miserably. There's no way someone like the Corporal would actually want to be
with me. I'm not even entirely human, after all. Eren's throat constricted, and
he bit his lip hard to keep tears from spilling out. He would not cry in front
of Captain Levi. "I - I understand if you don't actually want me like that," he
muttered. "I'm only a private after all, and - "
Eren's words died in his throat as he felt firm fingers grasp his chin, guiding
his mouth to Levi's own for a warm, gentle kiss. "Idiot," Levi muttered
affectionately, as he ran his hand through Eren's hair. "Don't think for a
minute that I don't have feelings for you. Since when have I ever done anything
that I haven't wanted to do, Eren? Just because I had a reason for starting a
relationship with you now instead of later doesn't make my intentions any less
honest." He drew Eren into another brief kiss before pulling away.
Eren felt his throat relax at Levi's words. "So...then why did you decide to
tell me how you felt now?" He laughed slightly. "I guess now that I think about
it, it's a little weird that we're starting a relationship while lost in the
middle of the woods, Levi. Not that I mind, though."
Levi's hand moved to grasp Eren's. His warm, callused fingers wrapped tightly
around Eren's palm, their fingers lacing together perfectly. The touch sent a
delightful little shiver down Eren's back. "Eren, you and I have a connection.
We're...kindred spirits, I guess, is one way to put it. Yesterday, I wanted to
strengthen that connection by getting intimate with you." He smirked slightly
at Eren's blush. The brat seemed to be doing that a lot today. "I've felt
strongly about you, Eren, ever since I first saw you in that prison cell after
Trost. I hope that I can use this connection that we have, in order to get
through to you when you're in your Titan form. I want to ground you, in a
sense, to try and temper that rage you feel, so that you can stay in control
when you transform."
Eren nodded. "I feel strongly about you too, Levi. Not always romantically of
course, but I've always felt a kind of...pull towards you, I guess. I've felt
it ever since I was a little kid, watching you ride outside the Walls with the
rest of the Survey Corps."
Levi smiled, the rare expression managing as always to get Eren's heart to
speed up. "Alright brat, let's quit the sappy shit and get to work already. Go
ahead and transform, then pick me up and place me on your shoulder when you're
done. Right next to your big-ass pointy ear, so that you can hear me."
The Corporal could tell by Eren's tense stance and the furrow between his brows
that the boy was nervous, but Eren's eyes still blazed with that wonderful,
determined fire. Eren took a deep breath, then put his hand up to his mouth and
bit down hard.
Nothing happened. For a long moment Levi and Eren were silent, simply staring
at the blood dripping from Eren's hand. The wound was steaming slightly as it
healed, albeit more slowly than usual. There had been plenty of times during
Hanji's experiments back at HQ when Eren had failed to transform, due to lack
of motivation or fear. Still Eren always had to fight to remain calm whenever
he couldn't immediately transform. He didn't understand why he even had this
power in the first place, and it was all too easy for him to believe that his
shifting abilities had vanished as mysteriously as they had appeared whenever
he wasn't able to become a Titan.
"Focus, Eren," Levi said calmly. Eren looked up to meet Levi's cool, steady
gaze. "Find a reason to transform. It doesn't have to be anything complicated,
if you can make a fucking Titan arm appear just by reaching for a spoon than
you can find a simple reason to transform now."
Eren nodded, feeling a few nervous trickles of sweat run down his neck. The
urge to make Levi proud, to live up to his commanding officer's expectations,
was definitely strong enough to cause a transformation. Yet overriding that
desire to please Levi was the fear of losing control, causing Eren's stomach to
twist itself into knots. What would happen if he lost control of his Titan form
and Levi wasn't able to cut him out in time? Would he remain a Titan for good,
unable to ever return to human form?
Trying to ignore his nerves, Eren bit into his hand a second time, then a
third. He hissed in pain as the blood ran steadily down his wrist, holding the
injured appendage away from him in order to avoid staining his jacket. His
healing abilities didn't seem to be working at all now, which was par for the
course whenever Eren was unable to transform. He pressed his other hand to the
wound, trying to stem the flow of blood.
"Stop, Eren. Look at me." Firm hands closed over Eren's own, causing his
attention to turn to Levi. "You need to calm down. If this was a combat
situation you'd already be festering inside of a Titan by now. You can't take
this long to transform, brat."
"I know," Eren muttered, wondering vaguely if it was possible to feel any more
embarrassed or ashamed at the moment. "I'm sorry, Levi. It's just...I don't
want to hurt you. Whenever I turn into a Titan, I feel like I'm losing myself.
It's...I'm scared." Eren bit his lip hating that he'd just admitted fear. He
wished that Levi would stop looking at him. Eren tried to tug his hands out of
Levi's grip, but the Corporal refused to let go of them.
"Do you have so little faith in me, Eren?" Levi said quietly. "Erwin put me in
charge of you for a reason. He knows that I can handle it if anything should go
wrong with your Titan form. I was able to cut you out the last time you
transformed, and I can damn well do it again, as many times as I have to."
"But - "
"No buts," Levi said firmly. "I'll be riding beside you the whole time you're
in your Titan form, brat. I can cut you out at the first sign of trouble.
Listen to me, Eren - you will shift into a Titan when I let go of your hands.
We'll walk around for a bit and focus on just staying in control. Trust me,
Eren. I promised I would protect you."
For a long moment, the two of them merely looked at each other. Eren felt his
heart stirring in ways he couldn't entirely explain. Despite having lost
control only a few days ago, Levi still trusted Eren enough to stay by him,
even while Eren was in Titan form. Levi was trying to keep Eren safe. Levi was
actually asking Eren to trust him.
I won't let you down, Levi. I promise. Eren thought fiercely. "Can you let go
of my hands, please?" He asked quietly. "And you should probably step back, I
don't want you to get hurt when I transform."
Levi nodded at him, then went to stand with his back against a tree at the edge
of the clearing. He watched Eren bite into his hand once more, and then Levi
was closing his eyes against the bright orange rush of energy as Eren
successfully transformed. A moment later, Levi was blinking the stars out of
his eyes and wincing as Eren roared loudly, stirring the branches in the trees
overhead.
Levi stepped forward. "Alright, now let me up, brat." Eren obediently knelt
down and laid a giant hand out in front of Levi, allowing the Corporal to step
onto it. Levi braced himself against Eren's pinky finger as he was gently
lifted up to rest on Eren's shoulder. Levi made sure to stand right next to
Eren's ear, gripping a lock of long brown hair tightly in order to keep from
falling. It was a long way to the ground, after all.
Levi spent a moment surveying the landscape around them, putting a hand up to
shade his eyes from the glare of sun on snow. Through the sea of dark tree
trunks around them, he could just barely make out the fallen tree trunk they
were camping under. "Can you hear me, Eren?" Levi spoke loudly and clearly into
Eren's ear. It twitched slightly in response, and Eren let out an affirmative
grunt. "Good. Now, I want you to walk in that direction, towards our camp. Look
where I'm pointing." He felt the shift of muscles rippling underneath skin as
Eren turned his great head to see where Levi had extended his arm. The Corporal
found himself staring for one long moment into the brilliantly green eyes of
Eren's Titan form, before Eren turned to face forward again. He began to step
forward after letting out another loud roar. Levi winced again. "Knock that
roaring shit off!" He yelled into Eren's ear again. You want to attract the
attention of every damn Titan around?!"
Eren let out a quieter rumble of what Levi presumed to be apology. It was hard
to tell, when Eren couldn't actually speak in his Titan form. Then he started
walking, giant feet lifting and crashing down again to the Earth as he wove
carefully around the trees, many of which rose several feet above the head of
Eren's large Titan form. He took small, steps, making sure to move slowly in
order to avoid crushing too many of the smaller trees around them. Still, every
stride knocked over at least two or three conifers. Levi supposed it couldn't
be helped, with Eren being so large. At least the trail of splintered wood and
pine needles would make it easy to tell where he and Eren had been.
As they walked, Levi made sure to take a mental note of their surroundings.
From up high, it was easier to tell just where in the forest they were
situated. He dearly wished for paper and a pen so that he might be able to draw
a map, but in their absence Levi had to settle for making a mental catalogue of
important landmarks. A large rock was to their right, a stream to their left,
and just up ahead was an especially tall and thick cluster of trees. Trees that
were rustling quite oddly, in fact. There wasn't much of a breeze, but the
branches and leaves were moving violently all the same. It was as if some large
creature was moving through them...
Levi spotted the Titan a moment before Eren did. The creature only came up a
little higher than Eren's waist, but it was moving quickly. "Eren! Titan!" Levi
shouted, and Eren's head whipped around to face the oncoming threat. He let out
a roar loud enough to shake the trees around them, then lashed out at the
Titan. One of Eren's great fists caught the thing across the jaw, causing the
Titan to stumble backwards and crash against a tree trunk. Eren approached the
dazed Titan slowly, growling like a feral animal.
"Easy now, Eren," Levi said. "Just kill it quickly and keep moving towards
camp. Nice and easy, now."
Eren lunged forward with another fierce growl. His hand shot out and wrapped
around the Titan's jaw, crushing it in his massive fist. The Titan made pitiful
little howls of pain as Eren pressed its body back against the tree. Levi saw
spurts of the monster's blood escape through the slight gaps of Eren's fingers,
running down his hand and wrist in steaming red trails.
In a fit of desperation, the Titan tried to bite its way free from Eren's grip,
sharp teeth gnashing futilely against the thick muscle and skin of Eren's Titan
hand. Eren let out a hiss of pain, and socked the monster in the side of its
head with his other fist. He hated Titans. Hated them so much, with a kind of
red-hot burning fury that wasn't even found in his fellow Survey Corps
soldiers. It flared up with a passion whenever he saw the monsters, and was fed
by the primal anger and raw strength of Eren's Titan.
Wrapped deep inside several feet of pulsing muscle, blood, and skin at the nape
of his Titan's neck, Eren envisioned his friends getting killed by the Titans,
one by one. Thomas's pale, horrified face as he slid slowly down a Titan's
gullet. Mina's shriek of pain and shock as she was slammed headfirst into the
side of a building by a Titan's fist. Nack's desperate pleas for help as a
Titan grabbed him in midair, cut short as the monster popped Nack in its mouth
and bit him in two.
Eren closed his eyes against the memories of the day Shiganshina had fallen.
The Colossal and Armored Titans breaking down Wall Maria as if it was putty.
Eren's mother, pinned helplessly beneath a boulder as that Titan with the
nightmarish grin advanced on her. Carla crying out desperately for help as that
grinning Titan bit down, reducing the woman who had cared for and raised Eren
and Mikasa into nothing more than a burst of blood and guts. Hannes carrying
him and Mikasa away as Eren screamed and howled and kicked with rage and horror
and sorrow and a million other emotions.
Mommy...Mommy, I'm sorry. So, so sorry...please, forgive me...
"Eren!" Levi shouted as Eren wrapped the Titan's skull in both of his hands,
crushing it as easily as a child might squash a bug. The monster's lifeless
corpse fell to the ground, quickly evaporating in a thick cloud of steam.
"Eren, come to your senses, dammit! Are you just going to let this Titan
control you? Just - ugh!" Eren had whipped his head around so fast that Levi
nearly slipped off of his shoulder, only saved from a long fall to his death by
his grip on Eren's hair. "Eren, for fuck's sake, I'm going to cut you out of
there - !" Levi was cut short by another loud roar, as Eren began to run in the
direction of camp.
Then Levi saw what Eren had. A Titan, slowly making its way through the trees
towards the brook that ran by their camp. Jean! Levi thought frantically.
Fucking hell Jean, please don't be at the fucking brook right now... "GO,
EREN!" He roared into Eren's ear as loud as he possibly could. The answering
shout he heard from Eren was perhaps the first time Levi wasn't upset at how
loud the brat was when he was in Titan form.
-x-
After finally filling up the last container with water, Jean heaved a deep sigh
of relief and stood up, wiping his hands against the hem of his deerskin robe
in order to dry them. He looked up at the sky, frowning slightly when he saw
that the sun had only just passed its zenith. Jean felt as if he'd been working
all day, carrying those heavy containers of water from the brook back to camp.
Still, at least now there would be enough water for a few days. Levi said that
it was a good idea to have water immediately available, in case something
happened that prevented them from getting to the brook.
A loud roar echoed through the forest, causing a nervous shiver to run down
Jean's spine. He'd been hearing a lot of roaring for the past few minutes, and
the sound was putting him on edge. He was positive that it was Eren making the
sounds, since no other Titan Jean had ever come across in his time as a soldier
had ever been as loud as Eren was. Jean kept telling himself that Eren was loud
even when he wasn't a Titan, and that the stupid asshole was probably just
trying to show off or something. Still, Jean couldn't help worrying. Not about
Jaeger, of course! Jean was worried about Levi. The poor man had to spend all
day dealing with Eren in his Titan form. Which had to be ten times worse than
dealing with a human Eren.
Of course, it doesn't seem like Levi really minds being with Eren though. I bet
he especially likes being with Little Eren, Jean thought, snickering slightly
at the thought of Eren's flaccid dick hanging out of his pants. He quickly put
the thought out of his mind, however, because it led to thinking about Eren and
Levi naked and doing...it. Jean wrinkled his nose, as the thought of Eren naked
was a rather undesirable one for him.
Jean heard the rhythmic pounding of giant footsteps, causing the earth to
tremble beneath his feet and ripples to spread out across the brook. He turned
around, expecting to see the intense green eyes, tangled hair, and weirdly
grinning skull-mouth of Eren's Titan form. "For fuck's sake, Jaeger, don't
knock anything...over..." Jean's voice faded away to a whisper, his eyes going
wide with horror as he faced the Titan that was quickly approaching him through
the trees.
It wasn't Eren, that was for damn sure. This Titan was a bit smaller than Eren,
with a rounded pudgy belly and vacant, glassy brown eyes. And Jean was pretty
damn sure that Eren's Titan didn't have short red hair and a handlebar
mustache. He couldn't help the slight whimper of fear that escaped his mouth at
the sight of the monster.
The Titan paused slightly upon seeing Jean, and he could have sworn that its
blank eyes lit up in glee upon seeing him. Jean's legs gave out under him, and
he fell to his knees with a slight moan. This is it, he thought dully. I've
already escaped death twice, the third time's the charm. The sun was suddenly
blacked out by the Titan's giant hand, as it bent down and reached for Jean. He
closed his eyes tight and braced himself for the end. I'll be seeing you soon,
Marco...
A deafening roar sounded somewhere overhead, so loud that Jean toppled over
onto his back, lying inches away from the brook in an awkward spread-eagle
position. He cautiously opened his eyes to be met with the sight of none other
than Eren Jaeger in Titan form, with Levi standing on his shoulder. Eren had
just punched the Titan square in the chest, sending the monster flying away
from Jean. It let out a cry of pain as it landed, dazed, against a cluster of
trees to the right.
Jean's mouth fell open in shock. Holy fuck...is this really happening? He
thought, feeling slightly dazed by the fact that Eren Jaeger had saved him only
moments before he was about to be eaten by a Titan. I...I don't even believe
this.
Meanwhile, Levi used the lock of hair he was holding to swing himself a bit
closer to Eren's ear. "Kill it, Eren!" He shouted. Eren reached forward and
picked the Titan up by the scruff of its neck, before throwing it down on the
ground in front of him. The monster was only able to let out one last howl of
pain before Eren stomped down with all his might on the nape of its neck, his
massive foot severing the Titan's head from its body.
Despite the fact that Eren seemed to only have the most tenuous control over
his Titan at the moment, Levi couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief.
They'd managed to get there in time to save Jean, at least. Levi watched as
Jean sat up, staring at Eren. Even from this height, Levi could see that Jean's
mouth was hanging open in shock. "Thank you, Eren," he said, gently patting the
pointed shell of Eren's ear. He was still hunched over the Titan's dissolving
corpse and growling like a guard dog about to pounce on an intruder, but at
least the brat wasn't running off like the last time. "You listened to me, and
you've protected us all again," Levi continued. The unspoken I'm proud of you
hung in the air between them like a promise. Eren's ear twitched slightly, and
Levi hoped that meant he understood.
Deep inside of his Titan, Eren's heavy-lidded eyes slowly opened, their bright
turquoise color even more intense when surrounded by nothing but red. Levi's
words came to him softly and distorted, as if Eren was floating somewhere deep
underwater and Levi was speaking to him from the surface. But the meaning was
still clear. Levi's...thanking me, Eren thought groggily. Nobody's dead.
I...saved them?
Levi sounds...really proud of me. Even if he doesn't actually say so...
Wait a minute... Eren's eyes opened wider, and he became intensely aware of the
fact that he was inside his Titan body. He could feel hard bone beneath his
back, and the tough strands of muscle that connected Eren's human body to his
Titan one. Slowly, Eren lifted his arm and touched the thick layers of heavily
pulsing muscle above him. Even that slight motion felt like moving a heavy bag
of sand, but Eren was still able to do it. I have to get out of here.
With that thought, Eren began to struggle, lifting his arms up and bracing them
against the fleshy walls of his Titan's neck as he began to pull himself free
from his cocoon of muscle and bone. He moved sluggishly at first, then faster
as strength returned to his human body. Eren felt pieces of muscle snap as he
pulled himself up, clawing away at the flesh above him. A surge of
determination rushed through Eren, causing him to struggle harder. I can do
this!
Eren's right arm burst out of his Titan in a shower of blood just as a bright
streak of silver carved away a chunk of flesh to his right, just barely missing
his other arm. He blinked furiously as the cold afternoon sunlight shone in on
him. Levi's face came into view, the Corporal staring down at him with a
mixture of shock and relief. He was gripping the hilt of his blade in his left
hand, which explained the silvery streak. "Eren," he said. "You're...actually
conscious?"
"Yeah," Eren breathed, smiling giddily up at Levi. The other man smiled back,
before taking Eren's hand in a firm grip and yanking him the rest of the way
out of his Titan. Despite the fact that he was covered in steaming blood and
Titan guts, Levi held Eren's body close to him, burying his other hand firmly
in Eren's Titan's hair. Eren felt his stomach churn as his Titan's now empty
body fell to the earth, landing with a teeth-jarring crash.
"Can you walk?" Levi asked, getting to his feet and looping Eren's arm around
his shoulders. Eren nodded shakily, and Levi helped him hobble down his Titan's
back to the forest floor. The moment Eren's feet touched the snowy earth below,
his breath was knocked out of him by the force of another warm human body
slamming into his, and two strong arms wrapped tightly around his chest in a
hug.
"Fucking hell, Jeager," Jean's voice sounded in Eren's ear, thick with emotion.
"You saved my fucking life back there. I'd have been Titan chow if you didn't
come along when you did. Holy crap, thank you, man."
"Alright Jean, let him breathe," Levi said, grabbing the amber-eyed soldier by
the back of his shirt and pulling him away from Eren, who had a dopey grin
plastered all over his face.
"Nooo problem, Jean," Eren drawled, before pitching forward into Levi's arms
and promptly losing consciousness.
-x-
When Eren opened his eyes next, he was once again lying underneath the huge
fallen tree trunk. He breathed deeply, and the warm savory smell of roasting
meat filled his nostrils. Out past the makeshift roof he was under, Eren could
see the deep blue of the night sky, speckled with stars.
"You're up, brat," said a gruff voice to his right, and Eren turned to see Levi
sitting there, in the midst of skinning a squirrel. So Jean managed to catch
something after all, Eren thought, and frowned slightly as he realized that the
amber-eyed soldier was probably better at trapping animals than Eren was at
this point.
"Oi, what are you frowning for? Come here," Levi said, and Eren reeled
gratefully into Levi's arms. They sat together like that for a long moment,
holding each other close and breathing in each other's warm, comforting scents.
"How long was I out for?" Eren mumbled into Levi's collarbone, but the other
man heard him all the same.
"Not long this time, just a few hours," Levi said, his voice filled with
relief. "You didn't do badly today, it being your first day of practice and
all." The Corporal's hand came up to gently stroke Eren's messy brown locks,
the soft touch warm and reassuring in all the right ways.
Eren smiled into Levi's shoulders. Even though the other man hadn't said the
words out loud, Eren could feel the pride and gratitude radiating from Levi.
The Corporal was a man who didn't voice praise, but if you were with him for as
long as Eren had been, you knew when he was saying it anyway.
Chapter End Notes
     It's really hard to write Levi's interactions with Eren, in part
     because he's so stoic. Levi isn't a man who is very touchy-feely or
     emotional at all. I wish he would smile once or twice in the manga,
     tbh. I JUST WANT LEVI TO BE HAPPY BECAUSE HE'S MY FAVORITE OK. T^T
     So since I'll be starting grad school in around a week and a half as
     of this writing (yay!) updates might be a bit slow going forward.
     However, I promise that this fic will be finished, and I'll do my
     best to update more regularly.
     Oh my gosh, over 10,000 hits on this fic?! And over 400 kudos!? And
     so many nice comments?! You guys honor me, seriously. I love you all.
     <3
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi decides to move camp, and Eren makes some progress.
Chapter Notes
     Ugh. Thank you so, so much for being patient with me, everyone. Grad
     school is hard work. Since all of my courses this summer are each
     only six weeks long, and I'm taking four of them, I've been pretty
     much swamped with work. It's hard for me to find time to write these
     days, BUT I SHALL PERSERVERE. ;)
     There was going to be another part to this chapter, but I decided to
     put it in the next chapter because it's going to be a really
     important Ereri moment that deserves to be on its own. And there will
     be porn in it too, so you can all look forward to that. :D
     Anyway, without any further ado, enjoy Levi, Eren, and Jean fighting
     some more Titans.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
It seemed that winter's icy grip over the forest was slowly but surely
receding. The nights had slowly been getting warmer, enough so that Levi, Eren,
and Jean only needed one layer of animal skins to cover themselves with at
night, instead of two. It was practically balmy now, compared to the bone-
freezing temperatures of a few weeks ago. The snow was starting to melt as
well, causing the boughs of the pine trees to become heavy, the needles
dripping with cold, clear water. In a few places you could even see the ground,
hard and brown and covered with soggy leaf litter. There were more sunny days
now, and Eren and Jean both privately thought that after so much cold and
cloudy weather, the clear robin's egg blue of the sky was the most beautiful
sight in the world.
The improving weather, although it meant warmer days and nights, also meant
that everything was wet and heavy with melting snow. It seemed like there
wasn't a dry patch of earth to be found, and no one's clothes had been properly
dry for at least a week. The warming weather raised uncomfortable questions in
Eren's mind about how long they'd been out in the wilderness for. What sort of
horrible fate did the rest of the Survey Corps imagine had befallen the three
of them? Did Armin and Mikasa think that Eren was dead? Eren tried not to
picture how distraught the two of them must be, especially Mikasa.
Eren practiced transforming into a Titan every day, under Levi's diligent
supervision and coaching. It was more practice than he'd ever gotten back at
the old Survey Corps HQ, mainly because the hundred little daily tasks required
to keep an army functioning meant that Eren was only able to shift into a Titan
around twice a week. Three times, if Hanji was able to wheedle Levi into
abandoning his paperwork for a few more hours in order to supervise. Out in the
wilderness, however, there was a lot less to do. Levi mused that having this
much time to observe Eren's Titan form would probably have made Hanji piss
herself out of excitement.
Progress was slow, however. Whenever a Titan showed up, Eren would have a great
deal of trouble remaining in control after killing it. He occasionally managed
to, but staying in his right mind was a rare and hard-won feat for Eren while
in Titan form. If there was more than one Titan, Levi would end up having to
cut Eren out of his Titan's nape before the boy went on a rampage. And it was
rare that they didn't run across at least one Titan during Eren's practice
sessions. They seemed drawn to the light and noise that accompanied Eren's
transformations, like buzzards to a decaying corpse.
Levi had noticed that, when in Titan form, Eren found it comforting to have his
ear stroked. So by a combination of talking into that great pointy ear and
stroking the edge of it, Levi gave Eren something to focus on besides the rage
that built up inside whenever the turquoise-eyed soldier transformed. Despite
the fact that most of what Levi said was filled with expletives, Eren told Levi
that he still found the Corporal's words to be comforting. Just as Levi had
hoped, it seemed that he was able to keep the brat focused, at least a little
bit.
It wasn't as if all of their practice was for nothing. Eren was able to remain
conscious more and more often after exiting his Titan form. He was still
incredibly tired and weak after a transformation, of course, but he didn't pass
out. And even when Eren did succumb to his exhaustion, he was only out for an
hour or so before waking back up. Gone were the days, it seemed, when Eren
remained asleep for days after transforming. His transformations seemed more
stable now, as well - Eren could now stay in his Titan form for a few hours
without any ill effects. Although he still seemed frustratingly far away from
total control over his abilities, the bits of progress Eren had made were
encouraging nonetheless.
Eren's first real test came one bright morning when Levi announced after
breakfast that he wanted to move camp back to the dilapidated old cabin they
had taken refuge in, what seemed like forever ago now. There were lots of
reasons for doing so, of course. Since it was on a hill, the cabin provided a
better view of their surroundings. It was also close to a stream, so they
wouldn't need to worry about getting water. Mostly, however, Levi just wanted
to get someplace drier. With all the melting snow, the ground beneath their
fallen tree was starting to get uncomfortably wet at night, and the smell of
rotting bark was almost overwhelming. Not to mention that the nearby brook was
swollen with snowmelt, to the point where the rapidly moving currents made
refilling their own water supply increasingly more dangerous.
"From high up, I don't think I'll have much of a problem finding out where the
cabin is," Levi had said, after neatly finishing off the last bit of squirrel.
"The real challenge here is whether or not Eren can stay in control long enough
to get us there. Eren, you know that there may be Titans along the way, and it
may take some time for us to reach the cabin. Do you think that you can do it?"
Levi stared intently at the younger man. Be honest with me, Eren, his sharp
silver gaze seemed to say. If you really think that you can't do this, I need
to know.
Eren's brow wrinkled anxiously, but his eyes were filled with the determined
fire and spirit that Levi had come to love. "I won't let you down. Either of
you," he said quietly, nodding at Levi and Jean. A fierce rush of affection
swelled inside of Levi at Eren's words. My stubborn-as-fuck brat.
"I'll start packing up," Jean said, leaning over to give Eren a reassuring clap
on the shoulder as he got to his feet. After Eren had saved Jean's life, the
amount of bickering and insults between the two had dropped off significantly.
There was still the occasional muttered "horse face" or "moron," of course, but
the two of them had reached a level of quiet camaraderie that Levi hadn't
thought was possible. Had he been a religious man, he would have called it a
miracle. As it was, Levi didn't call either of the boys out on their behavior.
He didn't want to ruin a good thing - Eren and Jean's endless arguing had
grated on his nerves quite a bit, after all.
With Jean's back turned, Levi couldn't resist leaning over and brushing his
lips against Eren's for the briefest of moments. "Not bad," he whispered, and
smirked slightly as the tips of Eren's ears went red. The boy really was too
cute at times.
An hour later, Eren's huge Titan form was striding away from their former camp,
with Levi and Jean riding on his shoulder. Jean looked more than a little
nervous - being so high up without 3D Maneuver Gear to catch him if he fell
wasn't exactly a pleasant thought, after all. Jean took a deep breath and
focused his gaze ahead, out past the giant tree trunks, and towards the
horizon. It was a lot less nerve-wracking than looking down at the ground.
Levi, having ridden on Eren's Titan form many more times than Jean by now,
looked much more comfortable. He was leaning alongside Eren's ear, gently
rubbing the patch of skin behind it. Occasionally Levi would call out a
direction, such as "Turn left here," or "Stand still, I need to figure out
where we are," or "Watch out for that damn tree, brat!" The Corporal's sharp
silver eyes were alert and focused, darting around as he took in the landscape
around them. It looked familiar enough to make Levi optimistic about finding
the old cabin sometime before nightfall. It would be nice to finally have some
more substantial cover at night than an old tree trunk.
For the first hour or so, everything went well. Eren's Titan form walked
confidently through the forest without even a hint of losing control. Jean had
even managed to relax enough to sit down on Eren's shoulder and loosen his
death grip on the Titan shifter's hair. Both he and Levi were hopeful that Eren
had managed to gain enough control over his Titan to make finding their way
back to the Walls soon a serious possibility. For once, it seemed like things
were looking up for the three of them.
Until, of course, Eren rounded a tree and nearly crashed into a group of around
six Titans, ranging from five- to ten-meter classes. They'd been wandering
aimlessly about, as Titans did when there was no human prey to catch. But the
moment Eren stepped into view, all six of them whipped their heads around and
stared at the fifteen-meter Titan now in their midst, regarding Eren and the
two humans on his shoulder with their horrible, blank eyes. For a few short,
heart-stopping moments, nothing happened. Eren stared at the Titans. The Titans
stared at Eren. Levi tightened his grip on the sword at his side. Jean felt as
if his heart had leapt into his throat and died there.
Then one of the larger Titans let out a feral shriek and charged at Eren, its
hands mindlessly groping in front of it as it made a wild grab at Levi and
Jean. Eren answered with an angry roar of his own, grabbing the Titan's head in
his two giant hands and pulling it right off the monster's shoulders at the
nape. As the Titan's steaming corpse fell to the ground, the remaining five
Titans charged.
Levi swore violently. Of fucking course this had to happen, and at the absolute
worst possible time. Facing down a group of Titans, with literally all of their
supplies riding on the back of an unstable Titan shifter. He watched as Eren
punched another Titan against a tree, and heard the sharp crack of wood
splintering underneath the monster's weight. Another swipe of his massive fist
and the thing's head was gone as well.
"Stay calm, Eren!" Levi shouted into his ear. "We're all fucked if you can't
keep it together long enough to get to that cabin!" Eren's answering roar was
deafening, but for once Levi didn't mind. It meant that he was still sane
enough to pay attention, after all.
Eren took care of the next three Titans with ease. He brought the head off of
the smallest one with a quick swipe of his hand, then kicked its steaming body
into the Titan behind it. That Titan was stunned enough by the impact for Eren
to decapitate it with little trouble. "Behind you!" Levi shouted, and Eren
whirled around and planted his fist into the mouth of a Titan that had been
making to bite Levi and Jean off of his shoulder. The monster crashed to the
ground, and the snap of its neck breaking underneath Eren's foot followed
shortly afterwards.
"I think I'm gonna be sick..." Jean muttered, clinging to Eren's hair for dear
life as his body moved and rocked beneath Jean's feet. It felt a bit like
riding a boat during a heavy thunderstorm, only ten times worse. He swallowed
hard against the bile rising in his throat.
"Shit!" Levi swore as the last Titan leapt at them, making a grab for Levi and
Jean. He unsheathed his sword and stabbed it straight though the monster's
palm, showering the two of them in a spray of hot Titan blood. The monster let
out a high-pitched yelp of pain, and in one swift move Eren grabbed the Titan's
arm, pulled the monster in close, and bit out the nape of its neck.
"Eren, you can stop now!" Levi shouted, once Eren's fist had broken the Titan's
neck. The brat had thrown the Titan's body into the ground and was pummeling it
through a haze of steam, growling like a wild animal. "Goddammit, Eren!" Levi
swore, grabbing Eren's hair and making to swing around to his neck. "I'm going
to cut you out of there!"
Wrapped up inside layers of muscle and sinew and bone, Eren shouted and
strained against his Titan's flesh. Images of everyone who had died from the
Titans flashed across his eyelids, each image of blood and death and gore worse
than the last. Mina, Thomas, Nack, Samuel, Franz, Hannah, Marco. Mommy.
Mommymommymommy kill all the Titans kill them kill them KILL THEM!!!
Through the haze of anger and bloodlust, Eren could just barely make out the
sound of someone shouting at him. The sound was muffled, as if the person was
very far away. He could just barely hear it if he strained his ears. "Eren!
Dammit, I'm cutting you out now, Eren! Hold still!" Although it was muffled,
the voice was so familiar that Eren's eyes burst open, scattering the horrible
images of his dead friends and family.
Levi... Eren shut his eyes tightly and focused on the sound of his Corporal's
voice swearing at him. He focused on the image of Levi's sharp, narrow eyes
flashing like blades in the sun, and the way it felt when he held Eren close.
How wonderful it had been to have Levi suck him off. Levi's reassuring presence
nearby, every time Eren had transformed. Touching his ear, talking to him
constantly. Keeping Eren safe, keeping him from losing control, from losing
what remained of his humanity...
I have to keep going! Eren thought fiercely. I can't let Levi and Jean down! We
have to make it to the cabin! We have to make it back to the Walls...
The effort of pushing past all of the anger and rage in order to regain control
of his Titan felt like smashing through a brick wall. It made Eren feel as if
his head was splitting in two. He writhed and twisted in his pulsing nest of
flesh, forcing his Titan forward blindly. He heard Levi cursing and fumbling
around by his Titan's neck. A moment later, there was a flash of silver and
Eren was blinking up at Levi's dark silhouette against the sun, hot steam
rising around him. His Titan stumbled, but Eren refused to let it fall. "Levi!"
He yelled, desperate to make the other man understand. "Levi, I'm in control!
It's fine, just let me keep going! I can make it!"
For a few seconds, Levi could only blink in confusion. This was the first time
he'd cut Eren open and found him still lucid. "Bullshit!" He finally shouted.
"Eren, I'm not risking this! If you lose control again, there's no telling
what'll happen!" Levi's sword twitched, ready to cut the muscle that tethered
Eren to his Titan.
"If you cut me out now, my Titan form will crush our supplies as it falls!"
Eren replied. He stared at Levi, momentarily freezing the shorter man with the
strength of his gaze. "Please Levi. Trust me. I can get us to the cabin, I know
I can." Eren's eyes slipped closed once more with the effort of keeping his
Titan upright. "Don't give up on me."
Levi's body stilled for a moment, and then Eren felt the Corporal's sword grow
lax against his side. "Fuck, Eren," Levi muttered. "You're a goddamn idiot.
Don't move for a second while I get back up to your ear. Someone needs to
navigate, and I think Jean's too busy trying not to puke to do it."
Eren grinned. "Yes sir!" He replied. Levi huffed, and Eren felt a brush of air
across his Titan's cheek as the Corporal returned to his perch on Eren's
shoulder. A few minutes later the flesh of the Titan's nape had healed over
completely, and Eren was once more in control of his hulking, fifteen-meter
tall Titan form.
Each step forward for Eren was comparable to heaving a bag of sand and rocks
across an open field on a hot summer's day. Deep inside his Titan, he clenched
his eyes shut and focused all of his energy on moving through the forest. The
pulse of Eren's Titan body reverberated through his human one like a great
drum, and he felt as if he would fly apart were it not for the cords of muscle
pinning him to his Titan's neck. Eren knew that he was moving more sluggishly
than normal, could practically feel Levi's concern through the strong hand
resting on the tip of his ear. Just keep on going... Eren thought to himself,
clenching his human jaw so hard that he felt his teeth grind against each
other. Just keep on going...
The trees were starting to blur into an endless mess of black against the gray
of the melting snow, and despite his best efforts, Eren didn't think he could
keep going for much longer. Then he heard Levi and Jean shouting, and with a
great effort he raised his Titan's head and looked forward. Sure enough, there
was a hill up ahead, and Eren could just barely make out the tiny speck of the
cabin in front of them. He grinned fiercely, and let out a low, triumphant
growl. A moment later came the sound of Levi's blades cutting through his
Titan's nape once more. Then Eren was blinking up at the setting sun, as Levi's
arm gripped his own tightly.
"I...I did it," Eren said breathlessly.
"Yes," Levi told him solemnly, but Eren could see the pride his Corporal had in
him, dancing behind his eyes as clear as day. "You did it, Eren."
"That's great," Eren grinned happily, and then promptly passed out, darkness
falling over his eyes like a heavy curtain.
"Oh thank the Walls, we've made it," Jean murmured, once Eren's Titan had hit
the ground. He stumbled off of the quickly disintegrating body, and threw up
into the nearest bush.
Chapter End Notes
     I'm sorry it's so short, you guys. Still, at least you all know I'm
     not dead.
     We're getting near the end of this fic now - I estimate another three
     chapters, plus another Jean Interlude and an Epilogue. About damn
     time, since I've been writing this since October. I'm slow OTL.
     (seriously Jean WTF you dork)
***** Chapter 12 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi finally gets to the root of Eren's anger issues. Also, sex.
Chapter Notes
     Explicit sex scene ahoy! Not that I think any of you mind that at
     this point, but it's always good to let people know what they're
     getting into beforehand.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
When Eren next awoke, blinking the sleep blearily from his eyes, he was
indoors. Truly indoors, for the first time in weeks. He could feel hardwood
boards beneath his back, and Eren never thought he'd be so happy to actually be
sleeping on the floor in his life. He moved to rub his eyes, only to find
himself wrapped up tight in both his own Survey Corps cloak and, from the smell
of it, Levi's as well. After months of sleeping pressed up close to the man,
Eren would recognize Levi's sharp, masculine scent anywhere. He smiled slightly
at the thought of Levi covering him up as he slept.
It was pitch dark inside the cabin, save for the low, flickering flames of the
fire and a few thin, silvery beams of moonlight slanting in from the dirty,
broken window to Eren's left. A faint snore coming from a lump of animal skins
next to the fire told Eren that Jean was fast asleep. Sitting across from the
fire was Levi, bent over his Survey Corps jacket and, from the looks of it,
trying to mend a tear in the sleeve. His jet black hair had fallen forward
around his eyes, so that Eren could only see Levi's mouth, set in a thin line
as he concentrated on his task. He slowly sat up, squirming a bit in order to
disentangle his arms from the cloaks.
Levi's head whipped around at the sound of movement, but he relaxed as soon as
he saw that it was Eren. "Finally awake?" He asked, going to Eren's side and
gently removing his cloak. Eren immediately leaned into Levi's side, and the
Corporal brought a hand up to stroke his hair. "How are you feeling, brat?"
"OK," Eren murmured. "My head hurts a little, but it's not too bad." He
wrinkled his forehead, trying to remember exactly what had happened earlier in
the day. They had decided to relocate their camp to the old cabin. Eren
remembered biting his hand in order to transform, his stomach jittery with
nerves about whether or not he could stay in control long enough to get Levi
and Jean to the cabin safely. But after that...his memories were just a blur of
light and sound and color. Eren hated that he could never remember anything
while he was in Titan form clearly, if at all.
"Levi..." Eren murmured, turning to look at the shorter man with worried eyes
and a furrowed brow. "Did I...did I lose control again? I don't remember..."
The corner of Levi's mouth lifted up slightly. "Actually, you didn't lose
control," he said softly. "You fought off a whole group of Titans, and you
still managed to get us all to the cabin in one piece. Looked like it took a
hell of a lot out of you, but you still did it, Eren." Levi moved his arms up
to hold Eren close, and the turquoise-eyed soldier basked in the warm feeling
of pride that seemed to emanate from his Corporal. He buried his suddenly warm
cheeks against Levi's broad chest.
"I guess all that training paid off, huh?" Eren said. He was grinning like an
idiot, he was so happy. He reached out and hugged Levi around the waist. "Thank
you, Levi. I never could have done any of this without you. Thank you for
having faith in me."
"Don't thank me brat, it was all you." Levi said. "But there's something else I
need to discuss with you." He pulled away slightly, fixing Eren with a suddenly
serious gaze. The younger man's smile faltered slightly. "We've been out here
for around three or four months now, what with Jean getting hurt and trying to
get your Titan form under control. Erwin and the rest probably think we've all
become Titan shit by now. You've done well today, Eren, but we need to get back
to the Walls soon. They're all counting on us to come back."
"I know," Eren said, casting his eyes to aside in order to examine a scratch on
the floor next to him. "I know all that, but...I get so angry after I
transform, and I don't even know why! It just overwhelms me and I can't think,
I can barely breathe, and I just - I want to kill everything." Eren's hand
curled up into a tight fist by his side. All of his happiness from just a few
moments before seemed to have dissipated. He leaned his forehead against Levi's
shoulder. "I don't know what more I can do, Levi."
Levi rubbed gentle, mindless circles against Eren's shoulders, frowning
slightly as he thought. "When you transform, is there anything in particular
that causes you to feel angry? Or is it just mindless rage?"
"I'm not sure..." Eren replied, biting his lip slightly. Levi could see his
younger lover's forehead creasing as he thought. "I mean, I don't really
remember my transformations that well. Everything's mostly just a blur
afterwards..."
"Think, Eren. I need you to remember so that I can help you control your
transformations. Your Titan form is the only way we have of making it back
alive."
Eren closed his eyes, his hands curling against Levi's jacket as his nose
filled with the older man's comforting scent. He thought back to his recent
practice transformations with Levi, trying to conjure up every single detail as
vividly as possible. The sharp burst of pain as he bit into the flesh of his
hand, followed by the metallic tang of blood on his tongue. The feel of flesh
and muscle and bone, growing around him and filling his ears with a dull roar.
The feeling of that flesh wrapping around his body, tight as his mother's
embrace after Eren had trudged home as a child, covered in scrapes and bruises
from his latest fight...the thick ropes of muscle growing out to connect Eren
to the hulking form rising up high off the ground...
...And then the anger, an emotion which always seemed to simmer just beneath
Eren's skin, ready to erupt at the slightest provocation. Only in Titan form,
it was ten times worse. Eren felt everything so much more intensely than usual
as a Titan, his emotions coursing through his body like wildfire. And with the
anger came the memories. Memories of dead and dying soldiers, of mindless
Titans marching through rivers of blood. Of his mother's thin cloth shoe
slipping off her foot as a Titan devoured her, Eren screaming with pain and
rage as Hannes carried him and Mikasa away.
Eren closed his eyes more tightly, pressing himself against Levi as if he hoped
to meld his own body with his lover's. He could feel Levi's arms around him,
holding him, not saying a word. Just letting Eren think, letting Eren sift
through what few memories he had of transforming into a Titan. Levi was like a
rock that the turquoise-eyed soldier could anchor himself against, and he was
so grateful for that.
Then the answer came to Eren in a sudden burst of understanding, like a sunbeam
shining down through the clouds. It wasn't the memories of his dead comrades
and mother that were bothering him. Everyone mourned the dead, and felt their
loss keenly - Armin and Mikasa, the 104th, the Survey Corps. There wasn't a
soldier Eren knew of who wasn't aware of how many men and women had met a
horrible end between the jaws of a Titan. No, what hurt Eren the most, what
caused rage to swallow his being while in Titan form, was the guilt.
He hadn't been able to save them. Despite his Titan power, Eren hadn't been
able to prevent a single death. And so many soldiers had died for him, in order
to pave the way for Eren to seal up Wall Rose during the battle of Trost. That
knowledge weighed as heavily on him as if it was a physical burden. Who knew
how many more would die, while Eren was unable to stop the hordes of Titans
that threatened mankind's very survival? How many more would die for him,
because of him?
Eren hadn't even been able to save his own mother from dying. He'd just been a
stupid little ten year-old boy with a big mouth and not much to back it up
with. How many times had Mikasa had to save his ass when they were kids? All he
could do as he watched his mother die was scream and rage at the injustice of
it all. Despite his newfound abilities, Eren still felt that was all he could
do. "Mommy," he whispered, and felt a sudden wetness on his cheeks. He cursed
silently for crying in front of Levi, like the dumb kid he was.
"Hey brat, enough with the crying, I'm not good with that shit," Levi said
gruffly. He gently lifted Eren's chin so that the younger man was looking at
him, those big bright eyes shimmering with tears. "Hey, come on now," Levi
muttered. He never knew what to say in these kinds of situations, so he gently
wiped Eren's tears away with his thumb instead. "What brought this on? Why are
you talking about your mother all of a sudden?"
"S-sorry," Eren hiccuped. "I didn't mean to start crying." He pulled out of
Levi's embrace and started to angrily scrub at his face with the back of his
hand. "I just - I figured out why I'm so angry when I transform into a Titan."
He lowered his hand and turned his tear-streaked face to meet Levi's concerned
gaze. "I told you that when I transform, I feel everything way more intensely
than I would usually. It's like...all of my emotions are fire, and they're
trying to consume me alive." He let out a hoarse, dry chuckle. "I guess that's
a weird analogy, huh?"
"Keep going, Eren," Levi said, eyes fixed intently on the younger man and
nothing else.
"I couldn't save them," Eren choked out as a fresh wave of tears fell down his
cheeks. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead on them in
a futile attempt to hide his grief. "So many people are dead. Half of my
graduating class in basic training died during Trost. And more people died so
that I could close up Wall Rose. Those soldiers died for me. But I can't save
anyone! I can't even control my own fucking Titan transformations!" Eren
gritted his teeth in order to keep from outright sobbing. He couldn't stop the
tears from flowing, and he hated himself for it. His crying was upsetting Levi,
but he just couldn't stop. All of these emotions, these feelings of guilt and
anger that Eren had kept locked up tight inside of him for so long, were now
pouring out of him like a flood.
"All I did back at HQ was practice transforming with Hanji, but I wasn't even
able to stop Titans from getting you, me, and Jean stranded out here in the
woods! And I can't manage to control my Titan form for long enough to get us
back home, so who knows how long we'll be stuck here! I should have gone out to
fight as soon as I knew I had this power; I shouldn't be wasting time like
this. Who knows how many people have died because I've been hesitating all this
time?"
Eren curled more tightly into himself, and continued talking before Levi could
so much as open his mouth. He felt that if he didn't get everything he wanted
to say out in the open now, he would die. The words were rushing out of him,
and Eren was helpless to stop them. "I'm scared, Levi. I don't know why I can
shift into a Titan, or how it works, or even how I first learned to do it. My
memory's a fucking train wreck from the time my mom died up until I joined the
military. I don't know if, at some point, I won't be able to turn back into a
human. I don't even know if I am human anymore! Maybe at some point, I'll just
become a mindless beast like the rest of the Titans. And because I'm scared and
can't control myself or my situation, more people die." Eren shuddered. "Their
blood is on my hands."
For what felt like an eternity afterwards, no one spoke. Eren remained curled
up into a ball, crying quietly into his knees. Levi watched him, silently, his
heart aching for the young man who had the world on his shoulders. Finally,
however, the Corporal reached out and touched Eren's shoulder. "Eren, look at
me." The younger man tried to flinch away, causing Levi to tighten his grip.
"Look at me, Eren. That's an order."
Slowly, Eren lifted his head to stare up at Levi with reddened eyes. His face
was a mess, covered in tears and snot, but Levi pulled Eren close anyway. For a
moment he simply held the boy, letting Eren press himself against Levi's chest
and get his tears under control a bit. Then Levi spoke. "None of this is your
fault."
Eren snorted. "You don't have to make me feel better - "
"Shut the fuck up and listen," Levi interrupted him. "None of this is your
fault, brat. You aren't the one who killed those soldiers, the fucking Titans
were. The people who died in Trost knew damn well what they were signing up
for. No one joins the Survey Corps or the Garrison expecting a long and cushy
life getting their asses wiped like the rich fucks in Sina. We are all ready to
lay down our lives for humanity, Eren. For freedom. The men and women at Trost
willingly sacrificed themselves so that you could save Wall Rose, because you
represented that for them."
Eren stared at Levi in disbelief. "I don't think I can save all of humanity,"
he muttered. "I couldn't even save my mom! What happened to her...no one
deserves to die like that! And I couldn't do anything."
"So your mom became Titan food, just like most of the people in Wall Maria did.
That's why you want to kill all the Titans, right?"
Eren shook his head. "It was worse than that. The day Wall Maria fell, I'd
gotten into a fight with her over joining the Survey Corps. I wanted to enlist
and she didn't want me to, basically. So I got mad and ran out of the house to
go and sit by the river. When the Colossal Titan destroyed the Wall, a piece of
the rubble crushed my house." Eren closed his eyes tight against the painful
memory. "I ran home as fast as I could, but her legs had been crushed
underneath the roof. I couldn't manage to free her...Mikasa and I were barely
able to escape before a Titan ate my mom...And I watched it happen. I watched
that Titan devour her whole."
Eren tightened his fist against Levi's abdomen. "I swore that was the day when
I would destroy every last Titan. I never wanted to see anyone else die like
that, ever again. Yet that's all I see, every time I close my eyes, is my
comrades dying left and right. I just want it to end!"
"Then make it end, Eren!" Levi practically shouted, followed by a worried
glance in Jean's direction. The amber-eyed boy snorted and turned over, but
luckily he didn't wake up. Levi continued in a quieter voice. "No matter what
you think of yourself, you represent hope and freedom to the Survey Corps. To
all of humanity. But even more than that...you represent those things to me."
Eren's eyes widened, and he stared at Levi in shock. His mouth opened, but Levi
laid a finger across it. "Let me finish, Eren." The Corporal knew he had to say
this now, because otherwise in the morning he'd be too embarrassed and would
never let Eren bring this up again. "For years now, I've been going outside the
Walls and fighting Titans with the Corps. Each and every time we'd come back
defeated, with nothing to show for our work except a load of more dead fucking
soldiers. I hated life inside those Walls, but I didn't think we'd ever
actually defeat the Titans. There were too damn many of them, and not enough of
us. I figured eventually I'd go down fighting the damn things, just like
countless men and women before me. And I knew that when I died, I wanted it to
be outside those shitty Walls, where the air is clean and the world is
beautiful for once. So I kept on going out and fighting.
"And then you came along, brat. I was skeptical at first, but I saw that fire
in your eyes, that fucking insane and wonderful determination to succeed at
taking down those shitty fucking monsters once and for all. For the first time,
I had hope that we'd succeed. So I decided that I would watch over you, so that
you could save us, Eren." Levi cupped Eren's cheeks and stared down into his
eyes with an intensity Eren had never seen before. "I will not let the first
hope I've had in fuck knows how long die. I will rip you from your Titan's nape
with my bare fucking hands if I have to, but I won't let you lose yourself.
"Trust me, Eren," Levi whispered, bringing his forehead down to rest against
Eren's. "I know you've got the world on your shoulders, brat. I know it's
fucking unfair, and that you never asked for this, and all of that shit. I
know. But I will be there with you every step of the way, Eren. I will not
abandon you." Levi pressed his lips gently against the younger man's in the
lightest of kisses. "I promise," he whispered into Eren's mouth.
A pair of strong arms wrapped around Levi's neck and pulled him down, and Eren
was kissing Levi strongly, his tongue thrusting into Levi's mouth. Levi felt
Eren's taste and smell invade his senses, and it felt like heaven. He moaned
softly and kissed Eren back just as fervently. "Thank you, Levi," Eren
whispered as they pulled apart for air. "Thank you so much." Then they were
kissing again, and Eren was sucking on Levi's tongue, and Levi never wanted to
stop. He would be just fine with sitting in this dingy, dilapidated cabin and
kissing Eren for the rest of eternity.
With Eren so close against him, kissing him so intensely, it wasn't long before
heat began to pool in Levi's groin and his pants started to feel uncomfortably
tight. He groaned and started to unconsciously rut against Eren's thigh in an
attempt to relieve some of the pressure. Eren's eyes opened wide upon feeling
Levi's erection, and then he buried his head against the older man's neck and
ground his hips down, letting Levi know that he wasn't the only one with a
hard-on right now.
"Eren," Levi hissed, "are you sure you want to do this right now?" Only a few
moments earlier the damn brat had been a crying mess, and now he and Levi were
rutting up against each other. He had no idea how Eren managed to switch from
emotional extremes like this so quickly. The turquoise-eyed soldier hadn't said
anything yet, and despite that Levi was plucking at the sleeves of Eren's
jacket, because he was so fucking hard and he really didn't want Eren wearing
clothes right now. Hell, he didn't want to be wearing clothes right now either.
Eren gave a sharp cry as his hips pressed insistently against Levi's groin, and
fuck he looked so wrecked. Levi hadn't even done anything yet, but Eren's skin
was still flushed a pretty red in the dim firelight, his eyes bright with
arousal now instead of tears. "Yes, Levi, fuck yes, I need you to touch me,
please," he hissed against Levi's ear and the Corporal felt his dick twitch.
Then Jean gave another sleepy grunt, and Levi and Eren froze in place. Eren's
eyes flicked from Jean to Levi and back again with increasing nervousness, and
Levi swore quietly. For a few heart-stopping moments it seemed as if Jean would
wake up, and the last thing Levi wanted was for Jean to find him and Eren about
to fuck. Luckily, after a few more grunts and some slight shifting, Jean once
again stayed asleep. Levi watched the pile of skins he was under rising and
falling rhythmically for a few moments before he let out a relieved sigh.
"Alright brat, if we're doing this then we need to go in the other room," Levi
said quietly. "I'm not doing stuff where Jean might wake up and see us."
Eren nodded, and the two men awkwardly got up. Eren gave an exasperated little
whine at having to move around with a hard-on, but he dutifully followed Levi
into one of the smaller rooms next to the main one. This room was empty save
for a rusting metal bed frame, which left Levi and Eren plenty of room to screw
around. Levi, however, took one look at the floor, which was covered in so much
dirt and dust that it was nearly impossible to make out the floorboards
underneath, and wrinkled his nose before turning on his heel and marching back
out.
"Levi!" Eren hissed, gesturing down at his erection. "You aren't going to just
leave me like this, are you?!"
"Calm your shit, brat, I'm coming back," Levi said, and he re-entered the room
carrying his and Eren's cloaks and the one animal skin that Jean wasn't wrapped
up in. Eren watched incredulously as Levi spread these items out on the floor,
covering up a space for him and Eren to lay down without worrying about getting
dirty.
"Holy fuck," Eren groaned. He knew very well by now that the Corporal was a
notorious clean freak, but having to put up with it when he had a raging hard-
on was just ridiculous.
"I'm not getting filthy just because you're a horny little brat who wants to
screw," Levi replied. He laid carefully down atop the coverings and held out
his arms. "Now come here, Eren."
The turquoise-eyed soldier fell gratefully into his lover's arms, kissing him
fiercely while insistently tugging off Levi's jacket. It had been nearly a
month since the last time the two of them had screwed around, what with Jean
around and Eren usually exhausted from his Titan-shifting practice. Levi had
Eren's clothes off in record time, reveling in how easy it was without having
to deal with the many buckles of their straps and harnesses. Levi, Eren, and
Jean hadn't bothered with those since they'd first gotten lost out here, as
they didn't have their 3D Maneuver Gear anymore.
After a few awkward minutes of fumbling with the button, Eren managed to get
Levi's pants off, leaving both men completely naked. Eren trailed his fingers
wonderingly down Levi's chest and abdomen, dropping feather-light kisses here
and there as he went. "You're so beautiful, Levi," he whispered.
Levi felt his cheeks warm slightly. "Quit with the sappy shit, brat," he said
softly, pulling Eren's head down for another kiss. "You want me to suck you off
again?"
Eren didn't respond right away, instead moving his hands down to cup Levi's
cock. Even that light touch felt like fire against Levi's skin, and he couldn't
help the soft moan that escaped his lips. Eren's tongue came out to dart at his
lips as he admired the older man's cock, and the Corporal knew instantly what
the turquoise-eyed soldier wanted to do. "Eren...are you sure you want to do
this? Have you ever even given a blow job before?"
"Well...no," Eren admitted. "I told you I was a virgin before we...you know."
In the dim moonlight coming in through the window, Levi could just barely make
out the flushed curve of Eren's cheek, and he smirked slightly. "But I'm sure I
can do it!" Eren said, gazing at Levi with that determined fire that the
Corporal so loved. The fact that Eren was so determined to give him a good blow
job was incredibly arousing.
"Fine," Levi said. "I'll allow it. But go slowly. And no teeth."
"Yes sir," Eren grinned, and bent his head to Levi's groin. In the next moment
his cock was enveloped in warm, wet, glorious heat. Levi cried out as Eren
lapped at the bead of precome on the slit, gentle fingers caressing his balls.
He pressed his hand to his mouth in order to muffle any further noise. If Jean
wakes up right now, I'm going to be so pissed off, Levi thought.
"Eren," he hissed, as the boy took in the head of Levi's cock. What the boy
lacked in finesse, he more than made up for with enthusiasm. Eren was lapping
at Levi's cock like it was a delicious treat, laving the head and pressing
moist kisses along the length. "Eren, fucking take me in deeper already!" Levi
demanded.
Eren nodded, and Levi was treated to the glorious sight of his cock
disappearing inch by slow inch into Eren's mouth. He was about three-quarters
of the way down when Levi stopped him with a gentle touch to the younger man's
forehead. "Easy now, I don't want you to hurt yourself."
And then Eren sucked, and Levi was in heaven. How long had he wanted this, his
cock in Eren's mouth as the boy eagerly pleasured him? He threw his head back,
one hand still pressed firmly against his mouth, the other tangled in Eren's
soft brown hair. Words spilled from his lips unheeded, as Levi was so lost in
just how damn good it all felt. "Fucking hell, Eren, your mouth feels so good
on my cock. It's like you were made for this, born just to wrap your fucking
pretty little lips around me and suck me off."
Eren hummed around Levi's cock, the vibrations nearly sending him undone right
then and there. "Agh - are you getting off on this? Do you like it, having your
commanding officer's cock down your throat? I bet you - ngh - dreamt about this
every night, jerked yourself off to the thought of having my cock in you - "
He couldn't hold it back any longer. The pleasure was building at the base of
his dick, swelling inside of him. "Eren, I'm coming!" Levi hissed through
clenched teeth, "so if you don't want to swallow - ah!"
Eren just barely managed to get his mouth off of Levi in time. Cum shot from
Levi's cock in thick white spurts, splattering against the dirty floor. "Eren,
Eren," Levi moaned, stroking himself through his orgasm. And then it was over.
Levi lay there panting slightly, covered in a light sheen of sweat, and felt
his dick soften. "Come the fuck here, brat," he whispered. "That was the best
fucking blow job I've ever gotten in my fucking life."
The turquoise-eyed soldier chuckled happily, snuggling up close to Levi's body.
"I'm glad I could make you feel good," Eren said quietly, smiling as Levi held
him close and dropped little kisses along his neck and collarbones. "But...I
mean, could you please...?"
Levi looked up to see Eren gesturing down at his own cock, hot and heavy
between his legs. Levi's heart skipped a beat at the thought of Eren forgoing
his own pleasure for Levi's. This brat, he thought fondly. The corner of Levi's
mouth quirked up. "I think I can help you out with that," he murmured. "Spread
your legs for me?"
Eren obeyed. Levi could see his lover's pretty pink hole, and the sight would
have made him hard again, were he able. "I want to try and finger you a bit,"
Levi said softly. "Just fingers, not my dick. Obviously," he chuckled. "Is that
alright?"
The turquoise-eyed soldier nodded. A soft pink flush spread over the bridge of
Eren's nose, from arousal or embarrassment or both. "Y-yeah," he said. "I trust
you, Levi."
"Good." Levi bent down to give his younger lover a quick kiss, then pressed two
of his fingers to Eren's mouth. "We don't have any lube, unfortunately, so suck
on these, get them nice and wet."
Eren took Levi's fingers into his mouth, and the way he sucked on the two
digits could rival the finest Sina whore. The brat ran his tongue sensually up
and down Levi's two fingers, then took them into his mouth and sucked loudly.
Levi moaned softly. How he wished it was his cock that Eren was sucking again
instead! "Shitty brat," he hissed, "you'll be the death of me."
Eren only grinned around Levi's fingers. The older man removed them from his
mouth with a wet pop, then gently ran one of them down the soft skin of Eren's
perineum. Eren whined at the touch against such a sensitive place, and gave a
pleasure-filled sigh when Levi paused a moment to give Eren's cock a quick
stroke from base to tip before briefly fondling his balls. "This might feel a
little weird at first," he warned Eren. "Just relax, and you'll be OK. I'll
make you feel good, I promise."
Eren looked a bit nervous, but he gave a firm nod nonetheless. "Go ahead, Lev -
iiii!" The turquoise-eyed soldier's voice trailed off into a high-pitched
squeak as Levi gently circled his hole twice with the tip of his index finger
before pushing it in slowly. Eren gasped, his eyes closed as Levi slowly pushed
his finger in to the hilt.
"Relax," Levi whispered, leaning over to pepper Eren's face with little kisses.
"It'll feel better if you relax. Breathe already."
Eren did so, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths. Slowly, Levi felt
Eren unclench around his finger. Taking that as a good sign, the older man
slowly began to move the single digit in and out of Eren's hole. The last
vestiges of the younger man's discomfort vanished, and before long he was
whimpering and writhing with pleasure once more. Then Levi hit a certain angle
that made Eren gasp, his eyes flying open in confusion to meet Levi's. "Wh-what
was that?" He gasped. "It...it felt really good."
Levi smirked. "Your prostate," he replied simply. "It's a nice feeling when I
press it, isn't it Eren?"
"Yeah...do it again. Please Levi, I want more." Eren began to push down on
Levi's finger, eager to feel more of that wonderful pleasure. The Corporal took
it as a cue to add the second finger, carefully scissoring the two digits in
order to stretch Eren and minimize any discomfort. Although Eren's brows
wrinkled slightly at first, he cried out again when Levi pushed against his
prostate with two fingers.
"Levi, Levi, please..."
"Please what, Eren?"
"Please let me come!" Eren cried out, reaching out and grabbing hold of Levi's
shoulders. The younger man's cock was swollen and leaking, standing proudly
away from the bed of soft brown curls around Eren's groin. Levi knew that he
wouldn't last long, and moved his fingers more quickly.
"I'm the only one who can give this to you, Eren," Levi whispered, again
getting lost in the heat of the moment. Eren's big turquoise eyes staring up at
him with lust and desire, his flushed face and pretty, quiet little cries - it
was the most beautiful sight Levi could ever ask for. "You belong to me. I'm
the only one who will ever touch you like this, understood?"
"Yes...yes, Levi, I'm yours, just...let me...!"
Levi leaned forward and whispered against Eren's ear. "Then come, brat."
Eren grabbed his cock and stroked once, twice, three times, before his mouth
opened in a silent scream as he came, thick spurts of white splashing against
his belly and Levi's chest. Levi quickly pressed his free hand against Eren's
mouth to keep the brat from crying out and waking Jean up. He felt Eren's ass
clench and unclench around his fingers, and Levi carefully removed them,
wishing that it was his cock inside of Eren instead. Soon, Levi told himself.
He's not ready for that yet.
He frowned down at the quickly-drying semen on his and Eren's body. Ugh. Levi
quickly got up and went into the main room, returning a moment later with a
container of water and a scrap of cloth. He the carefully wiped down both his
and Eren's bodies. Eren smiled lazily and hummed as Levi cleaned him off. "I
like you a lot," he murmured.
Levi couldn't help but smile back. "I like you a lot too, brat," he replied,
then set the cloth and water aside and laid down next to Eren, pulling their
cloaks up to cover them both. Eren immediately wrapped himself around Levi like
a child, burying his face into the Corporal's neck. If anyone else had tried to
cuddle with him like that, Levi would have ripped them a new asshole. But this
was Eren, so Levi merely reached over to pull the boy close and gently stroke
his hair.
"Mmm...'night," Eren whispered, as his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep.
"Goodnight, Eren," Levi said, as he fell asleep next to the person he cared for
most in this world.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you all so much again to everyone for your patience. Grad
     school is hard work, and I know my updates are erratic to say the
     least. I appreciate everyone's kind words and kudos and support very
     much, as always. :)
     Thank you to everyone who reminded me that Eren's Titan form is
     fifteen meters, not seventeen. I have gone back and fixed that little
     error.
     To the person who asked me what I'm studying: I'm getting my Master's
     degree in Counseling Psychology. :)
     (Eren and Levi are such gay-ass dorks. I love them ;v;)
***** Interlude 3: Jean and Eren *****
Chapter Summary
     Jean and Eren take a bath, and some bonding happens. But not in the
     way that you're probably thinking, you perverts. ;)
Chapter Notes
     Thanks for being so patient with me, you guys. The summer semester's
     winding down now, so I have a little time to write before the Fall
     semester starts and I go back to working my ass off again. O.o
     Anyway, enjoy Eren and Jean being dorks.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"Hey, I'm going to take a bath. Do you want to come?"
Jean looked up from where he had been lazing by the campfire, waiting for a
container of water to boil so that he could wash his clothes. Eren was standing
across from him, wrapped up in one of their crappy animal skin robes, his
Survey Corps uniform tucked haphazardly underneath one arm. Clutched in his
hand was a piece of the very crumbly and very greasy soap that Levi had tried
to make with some leftover animal fat a few days ago. The results had been a
small pile of brown crumbles that could maybe pass for soap, if you were
desperate. Which, to be honest, they kind of were.
Jean might have actually used the soap, too, if Levi hadn't stunk up the entire
cabin something awful in the process of making it. For three whole days it had
smelled as if something was rotting and burning at the same time in there. The
odor was so bad that they'd had to sleep outside while leaving all the doors
and windows wide open, with the hope of airing the place out. Thankfully, the
smell seemed to have gone away by now. Jean shuddered just thinking about it.
"You're actually gonna wash yourself with that stuff?" He asked, wrinkling his
nose at the soap in Eren's hand.
"Huh?" Eren looked down at the soap. "Yeah, why not? I mean, Levi spent all
that time making it, after all. It doesn't feel right to just let it all go to
waste."
"Y'know, Jaeger, you've been spending a lot more time washing yourself since
you and Levi got together. You sure he isn't the one making you dirty, Jaeger?"
Jean asked with a smirk. It was true that he and Eren were on pretty good terms
these days, but he couldn't resist riling Eren up at least a little bit. The
turquoise-eyed soldier got angry so easily, after all.
Eren glared at Jean, a light pink tinge suffusing his face. "Shut up,
horseface. All Levi and I have been doing lately is practicing with my Titan
form. So unless you're getting your rocks off thinking about the two of us
having sex - "
"I never said I didn't believe you," Jean cut in. "Levi isn't the kind of guy
to slack off with you when we're so close to getting back home." The amber-eyed
boy smirked slightly. "But what about the morning after we got here, when you
came running out of the side room half-naked to get your clothes like a little
virgin maiden - "
"Shut up, Kirschtein!" Eren snapped, his cheeks growing redder. "At least I'm
not the one with a dumb crush on Bertholdt." He adopted a high falsetto: "Oh
Bertl, please touch me! It feels soooo good!"
Now it was Jean's turn to blush. "I told you not to bring that up anymore!" He
snapped. Damn it, I can't believe I said all of that stupid, embarrassing shit
in front of Jaeger when I was sick. I'll never be able to live that down now...
"Whatever." Eren rolled his eyes. "Look, you coming or not?"
"What makes you think I wanna take a bath with you, anyway? You that eager to
stare at my dick, Jaeger?"
"Look, you were washing your clothes anyway!" Eren said, gesturing at Jean's
dirty cloak on the floor. "Which means you were going to go down to the river
and bathe at some point today. You might as well just come with me now, save
yourself the trip. Besides, we can watch each others' backs this way. The last
thing you want is a Titan to catch you naked, right?"
Jean sighed. "Fine, I guess you're right. Better get clean now, or Levi'll chew
me out for it later." The amber-eyed soldier got to his feet, adjusting the hem
of his deerskin robe before unceremoniously dumping his Survey Corps uniform
into the now-boiling water. "Let's go."
-x-
The short walk down to the brook was quiet. More and more signs of spring were
appearing with each passing day now. Each day seemed a bit warmer than the
last, and just about all of the snow that had once carpeted the forest around
them had melted away. Jean could see the pale green shoots of grasses and
plants poking their tiny heads out of the earth, drinking in the sunlight that
was becoming much more plentiful. On some of the smaller trees, he could see
the tightly furled buds of new leaves, which would soon unfold and cover the
forest in a fresh new blanket of green.
Despite the warmer temperatures, however, it was still too cold for a bath in
the river to really be enjoyable. The water still felt freezing against the
skin, and being in it for too long was practically impossible. Levi, who
enjoyed bathing for longer than two minutes at a time, had figured out that by
setting a fire right by the edge of the brook and staying close to it, then
washing up became considerably more tolerable. It wasn't ideal, not by any
means. The water was still cold, and any shift in the wind could blow stinging
smoke into your eyes and nose. But it allowed for longer, (marginally) more
pleasant baths, so Jean and Eren made sure they had a campfire going before
taking off their robes and gingerly sliding into the water, the both of them
hissing and cursing at the cold until they were fully submerged.
Once Jean had gotten about as used to the water as he was going to get, he
leaned up against the bank near the campfire and glanced over at Eren, who was
huddled nearby. "Hey, can I ask you a question?" Jean said.
"What's the question?" Eren eyed Jean suspiciously out of the corner of his
eye, wondering if the taller boy was going to start poking fun at him.
However, Jean asked Eren something that had been nagging at his mind for a
while now, ever since they had started living at the old cabin. "What's the
deal with Levi and cleaning?"
Eren's eyes started to narrow, and Jean lifted his hands in a gesture of peace.
"I'm not trying to insult him, OK? I'm just curious. I've never meant anyone
as...anal about cleaning before as Levi is. I mean, we all spent the first
three days at the cabin scrubbing the hell out of the place."
"It was filthy," Eren said, his tone taking on an edge of defensiveness. "What,
you wanted to sleep on top of dirt and animal shit and Walls know what else?"
"I'm not saying it didn't need to be cleaned! But Levi made us wash the
ceiling, for fuck's sake! He made me scrub the same part of the floor, like,
five times until he was OK with it. Hell, he made us wash the freaking
doorjambs. You've gotta admit that's not really normal."
"It's fine!" Eren snapped. "What's wrong with being clean, huh? If you're
clean, then you're less likely to be sick or get something infected - "
"Eren, I'm not saying Levi's crazy or anything," Jean interrupted. "If it
wasn't for him, we'd both be dead right now. I'm really grateful for everything
he's done, and I think he's a great man." Jean paused a minute, watching Eren's
face soften, and decided that pursuing the topic wasn't worth starting a fight.
"Just...forget I said anything, OK? I was just curious." He turned away to look
up at the sky again, watching the small puffy clouds float idly across the blue
sky. For a few minutes, everything was quiet.
Then Eren spoke up, softly. "Levi's always been kind of a clean freak. Back at
HQ, me and the rest of Squad Levi used to clean the main rooms together once a
week. It was kind of nice, though. Everyone joked and talked with each other,
and Levi helped too, of course. I really started looking forward to those
weekly cleaning sessions."
"Oh. I guess that does sound pretty nice," Jean replied.
"I guess maybe cleaning relaxes him," Eren continued. "I mean, none of us lead
easy lives, but Levi's got a lot of responsibilities. He's Humanity's
Strongest, after all, and he's Lance Corporal of the Survey Corps. And Levi
takes both of those things really seriously. So if cleaning and having things
around him be clean makes Levi feel happy, then I'll gladly clean for him."
Jean felt his face flush slightly. He certainly hadn't been expecting that kind
of an answer from Eren. He's such a dork in love, Jean found himself thinking,
though not unkindly. "Thanks for answering my question," he said quietly. "I
guess you really feel strongly about Levi, huh?"
Eren nodded, his lips curling up into a slight smile. "Yeah," he said. "I do."
Everything was quiet again for another long moment. Although the water was cold
and Jean's legs were freezing, he didn't quite want to leave the brook yet. It
was...nice, out here, with the sun out and no sounds save for the running water
and the chirping of songbirds, which were slowly starting to return to the
forest now that it was getting warmer.
Surprisingly enough, Eren was the one who spoke next. "So do you have any
family back home?"
"Huh?" Jean turned to face Eren, confusion written all over his face. He wasn't
sure why Eren was asking him this question right now. Jean was used to the
turquoise-eyed boy talking about all kinds of random things at odd times by
now, of course. But he couldn't remember Eren ever asking him anything, besides
the occasional terse request for Jean to pass the water pitcher at dinner back
in the mess hall. Then again, Jean had never really asked Eren a question that
wasn't some kind of insult in disguise before today, either.
"You don't have to answer," Eren muttered, looking away before Jean could see
the pink tinge of his cheeks. "I guess I was just curious, too. You don't have
to talk about it if they're all dead or something."
Jean found himself smiling. "It's OK," he said. "You answered my dumb question,
so I'll answer your dumb question too. It's just me and my mom, actually. She
lives in a little house in Trost, which is where I grew up."
Eren's eyes widened. "Trost? Is she...?"
"She's OK, yeah. Our house is near the main part of Wall Rose, so she was
pretty far from where the Titans broke through. But yeah, it was scary as fuck
for me. With all that chaos going on, there was no way I could make sure she
could get out safely." Jean closed his eyes tightly against the memory of that
day. "I was so scared that she was going to die...I kept having these visions
of her getting swallowed by a Titan, and me not ever getting to say goodbye. I
remember thinking that I wished I'd told her I loved her more often."
He chuckled, a dry, humorless sound. "Walls, I was so stupid. I don't know why
I ever thought that the Colossal Titan wouldn't come back. I just wanted to
join the Military Police with Marco, be safe and comfortable, and bring some
money back to mom at the end of the week. You know damn well I never wanted to
fight Titans back in basic."
Eren grinned slightly. One of the most common reasons for the two of them to
start fighting back then had been Jean's derision of Eren's goal to destroy
Titans with the Survey Corps. Jean had made it no secret that he thought Eren
was a suicidal idiot who was going to get eaten the second he stepped foot
outside the Walls, and Eren likewise was quite vocal about his thoughts on Jean
being an ugly, stupid bastard. "So how did she feel about your decision to join
the Survey Corps and not the Military Police?" Eren found himself asking.
"She was surprisingly supportive, actually. I think after seeing everything
that happened in Trost, and hearing about what happened to Marco, she realized
why I had to do it. Mom wasn't exactly happy about it, though. She was crying,
and begging me not to die. I make sure to visit her every week, or at least to
write if I can't visit." Jean groaned and leaned his head forward. "She must
think I'm dead now, though...I wonder if anyone's come to tell her that I never
came back from the expedition over the winter."
"When we get back, you'll have to visit her first thing," Eren said
determinedly. "She'll be really happy and relieved to see that you're alright."
Jean grinned. "Yeah, definitely."
"My mom never wanted me to join the Survey Corps," Eren said, more quietly.
"She found out that I wanted to on the day Wall Maria fell, and we had a big
fight about it." He swallowed thickly. "I wish more than anything that we
hadn't fought that day, that I hadn't been so angry at her. I wish I'd told my
mom I loved her, before she died."
"I'm sure she knew that you did," Jean said quietly, his heart clenching at the
forlorn look on Eren's face. After nearly losing his own, he had a new
perspective on how terrible it must have felt for Eren to lose his mother.
"Moms know that kind of stuff. And you know, I never actually thanked you for
saving Wall Rose. Thanks to you, my mom's home wasn't destroyed, and she's
safe. So...yeah. Thanks, Eren. For everything."
The sad expression on Eren's face lightened. "I'm glad that I was able to save
her," he said.
"Do you think we should actually, you know, start washing ourselves?" Jean
asked with a grin. "I feel like my dick's gonna freeze off if we stay in here
much longer. Hand me some of that soap Levi stunk up the cabin with, let's see
if it's any good."
Although the soap was very crumbly and difficult to scrub with, it was
surprisingly effective at removing dirt. And thankfully, it didn't make Jean's
skin smell bad after he'd gotten out of the river and dried off. He felt
cleaner than he had since they'd first gotten stranded out here, and it was a
good feeling. But Jean still hoped that Levi didn't attempt to make another
batch. The stench from making the soap had really been terrible.
"Hey, Jaeger," Jean said, as the two of them were in the process of getting
dressed and putting out the fire. "You know....you're not so bad. For a
suicidal moron, I mean."
Eren looked up at him in surprise, before his own face relaxed into a smile.
"Yeah," he said. "You're not so bad either, Jean. For a horseface, anyway."
They walked back to the cabin in a warm, companionable silence.
Chapter End Notes
     That's the last Jean Interlude of this fic, everyone. I'm estimating
     two more chapters plus an epilogue, so we're nearing the end here!
     Plus the next chapter will have porn in it, and you can look forward
     to that. I know I am~
     Thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to leave kudos and
     comments. I really appreciate all your support. *kisses*
***** Chapter 13 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi, Eren, and Jean once again are reminded of humanity's position
     in the world. Some really emotional Ereri sex happens.
Chapter Notes
     Again, I'd like to thank everyone for their patience. Most of my time
     these days is occupied with school, and I know that updates to this
     fic aren't regular. But we're almost done! :D (Then I can start a new
     fic, hoo boy...)
     WARNINGS: Gore, minor/canonical character death.
     If anyone's interested, I listened to the song "Stay Alive" by Jose
     Gonzalez while writing this chapter, and I feel like it's a really
     appropriate song for the chapter. Here's the link if you want to
     listen too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZnu7fVRPIc
     (sorry in advance you guys)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
It had been a week since the emotional first night Eren and Levi had spent in
the cabin, and in that time, Eren's control over his Titan form had grown
stronger. For the past seven days, Eren had been able to hold his Titan form
for longer and longer periods of time without losing control. The turquoise-
eyed soldier started to actually look forward to Titan-shifting practice now,
as taking on his Titan body become less of a struggle against his own volatile
emotions. Now, Eren spent long, lazy afternoons sitting on the forest floor as
a Titan, with Levi a comforting presence on his shoulder. Lately, his greatest
struggle as a Titan had been keeping tree boughs from tangling in his hair.
Whenever Eren felt rage and anger building up inside of him at the thought of
Titans killing his friends and loved ones, he remembered Levi's words to him.
Trust me, Eren. You're my hope. I promise to protect you. Eren would think of
Levi's strong arms around him, keeping him safe. He would go from thinking
about killing and retribution, to thinking about the way Levi's lips felt
against his, the way Levi pressed Eren close against him and made him feel
warm. I'm not alone, Eren would think firmly to himself. Levi is with me. If
anything goes wrong, I can depend on him to take care of me. He's counting on
me to get us back to the Walls. He would focus on the way Levi's human body
felt against Eren's Titan one, warm and steady, keeping Eren's human side tied
to reality just by being there. And all the anger Eren felt would seep out of
him, to be replaced by a blazing determination to stay in control. He would use
his Titan form to protect and take care of Levi, just like Levi protected and
took care of Eren.
Around what Levi estimated to be midway through the week, Eren killed four
small Titans that they'd come across. Afterwards, Eren was able to remain in
control of his Titan until the end of the afternoon, when it was time to return
to camp. Although he was still exhausted after shifting, Eren hadn't passed out
after leaving his Titan since they'd arrived at the cabin. Even though Eren's
memories while in Titan form remained hazy and difficult to recall, he was
ridiculously proud of what he'd accomplished so far. For the first time in
months, ever since he'd first discovered his strange powers, Eren felt in
control. He felt confident and capable of taking down anything that crossed his
past, Titan or no. As long as Levi was beside him, Eren felt like he could do
anything.
Eren could feel Levi's pride in him as well. If anything, Levi was more proud
of Eren than Eren was of himself. The Corporal didn't show it outright, but
Eren could tell how Levi felt by the way he squeezed Eren's hand at night
before they went to bed. By the way he kissed and held Eren when Jean wasn't
around. By the way he clapped Eren on the back after each successful practice
session and said, "good job, brat." Even though they were still trapped in the
wilderness with Titans, even though he was away from Armin and Mikasa and the
rest of the Survey Corps, Eren couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so
happy and at peace.
At the end of the week, Levi brought up the topic of leaving the forest for
good, and finally beginning their journey back to the Walls. "Eren, you've
shown immense improvement in controlling your Titan, and I personally think
that you're ready for this." The Corporal turned to face Eren, his expression
serious. "But the question is, do you think you're ready?"
Eren flushed slightly at the praise, and nodded firmly. He met Levi's gaze
head-on, his eyes filled with resolve. "Yes," he said. "Absolutely yes. I think
I have enough control over my Titan to bring us home safely."
"You think, or you know?" Levi replied sharply. "Don't push yourself on this,
Eren. If you don't think that you're ready for this, you need to tell me now.
It's all of our lives on the line if something goes wrong, brat."
Jean's gaze flicked between the two men, holding a now-forgotten piece of food
halfway to his mouth. "Are - are you serious right now?" He asked, in a voice
filled with fragile hope. "After all this time...we're finally going home?"
Eren's chin lifted, his posture straightening with stubborn determination. "I
still think...no, I know, that I can do this." He said. "And let's face it, my
Titan form is our only option for getting home. Like Levi said, trying to get
back to the Walls with all of us as humans will just result in all of us
getting eaten. So put all your hopes on me!"
The corner of Levi's mouth quirked upwards slightly, remembering the similar
words Eren had used at his military tribunal. It felt so long ago, now, as if
the trial had taken place in another world entirely. "Then let's all get some
sleep. We're leaving at the crack of dawn tomorrow."
-x-
The next morning, Eren and Jean were the most awake Levi had seen them in the
mornings since they'd gotten stuck out here. The idea of actually leaving this
Walls-forsaken forest behind for good would probably have been enough to get
even the sleepiest teenager moving, and Eren and Jean were no exception. The
two boys moved quickly as dawn slowly filled the sky around them with pale
morning light. Their minds were filled with warm thoughts of seeing their
comrades again, of their smiling faces and bright eyes, of happy tears and hugs
as Eren and Jean were reunited with them all. By the time the sun had risen
completely over the horizon, Eren and Jean had packed up all of their supplies,
put out the fire, and helped Levi fill all of their metal containers and
canteens up with water from the brook.
"It might take us a little while to actually find the Walls," Levi warned Eren
and Jean right before they left. He didn't want them to get too discouraged if
getting home took longer than expected - although even Levi couldn't deny the
way his heart sped up with excitement at the thought of returning to the Survey
Corps. "Odds are we won't be back at HQ in time for dinner tonight. Remember,
we don't know where exactly we are in relation to the Walls, or how far away
from them we are. So don't go getting too excited, alright? We've still got
work ahead of us."
Eren and Jean nodded and chorused their understanding. Their eyes were still
bright with anticipation and eagerness at leaving. If the two soldiers were
dogs, Levi just knew that their tails would be wagging in anticipation. "Eren,
go ahead and transform," Levi said, closing his eyes and bracing himself
against the bright flash of light and gush of wind that accompanied Eren's
shift into a Titan. A few minutes later, Eren's Titan was striding confidently
through the woods, with Levi and Jean riding on his shoulders.
Being a fifteen-meter class Titan whose every step covered a quarter of a mile,
Eren moved them along faster than even the swiftest Survey Corps horse would be
able to. It wasn't long before Levi, Eren, and Jean had left the forest that
had been their "home" for the past few months behind for good. Levi's heart
rose with every mile Eren put between them and that damned forest, which
quickly receded behind them into a thin, dark line against the blue-purple
mountains in the distance.
They traveled through meadows of long brown grasses that waved and rippled like
the surface of a lake before Eren's heavy footfalls. The earth Eren churned up
as he walked was rich and dark, wet with the last of the melting snow. Thick
stands of oak, birch, and maple trees, their branches dusted with the bright
green of new leaves, broke up the flat landscape. Jean watched as the tiny
brown spots of deer far below them leapt and scurried nimbly out of the way,
not wishing to get crushed as Eren moved along. Overhead, birds lazily glided
and circled along on warm updrafts. Levi's eyes were faced firmly on the
horizon, searching for any familiar bit of landscape that he might have seen on
previous expeditions outside the Walls. Anything that could give them a frame
of reference as to how far away they were from home.
It was when the sun was burning bright and high in the sky above them, that
Levi finally spotted something familiar. But upon seeing it, his chest
constricted with dread, as if it had been gripped by a giant, icy hand. Levi
blinked hard a few times in order to make sure that what he saw was real, and
not just a trick of the sunlight. But the thing remained in existence,
painfully so.
Hanging off of the bough of a tree near the edge of a small wood, flapping
lazily in the wind, was a piece of green fabric. A cloak. The edges were
tattered and worn, the black and white emblem of the Wings of Freedom faded by
exposure to the sun and wind. Even from this height, Levi could tell that this
cloak hadn't been worn in a long time. Could it be...? No, Levi found himself
thinking. No. There's no way. No no no please no...
"Stop," Levi shouted into Eren's ear, and felt his chest tighten further at the
way his voice sounded - choked and ragged with an emotion Levi never displayed.
Fear. He could tell that Eren was worried by how abruptly he stopped. One
bright green eye came into view as Eren's massive head turned slightly towards
Levi. All the Corporal could do was point downwards. Levi felt Eren's arm
stiffen underneath the Corporal's feet as he saw what Levi had only a minute
earlier. A worried growl escaped his mouth.
"Levi...?" Jean asked quietly, leaning around Eren's neck to peer worriedly at
the Corporal. "That's not...a Survey Corps cloak down there...is it?"
"Let me down," Levi said into Eren's ear, and felt the Titan shifter's hand
come around to his shoulder for Levi to step onto. He was gently deposited onto
the damp earth beneath the trees, and the Corporal practically stumbled off of
Eren's giant fingers in his haste to get to that cloak. The torn green fabric
still waved lazily in the air, as if taunting Levi, daring him to get close
enough to see if the body of whatever soldier had last worn it still remained.
Hopelessly tangled among the tree limbs just below the cloak were the
unmistakable metal hooks and wires of the 3D Maneuver Gear. Suspended at least
ten feet off the ground, held in place by the Maneuver Gear wires like some
sort of macabre puppet, was the body of a soldier. The soldier's cloak must
have been torn from his body as he'd crashed through the canopy of tree limbs.
Now, the corpse swayed slightly in the air. Its dark, glassy eyes stared at
Levi's horrified face, unseeing. The former soldier's head was bent at an
unnatural angle, as his neck had snapped cleanly. And Levi...Levi couldn't
move. He felt as if he'd just been rammed into by a herd of stampeding cattle,
all of the breath suddenly leaving his body. Because Levi recognized this
particular dead body. The familiar brown hair, combed into a distinctive point.
The squared jaw, the deep-set eyes and slightly too-large ears.
Gunter.
No, Levi found himself thinking again. He stared unblinkingly at the body of
the man formerly under his command, who had been one of the best soldiers that
the Survey Corps had ever seen. His chest was heaving as if he'd just run a
mile, and yet Levi couldn't help feeling as if he wasn't able to get enough air
into his body. As if there wasn't enough air in the whole world right now. No,
it's impossible...
And Gunter wasn't the only dead soldier around. Below him and slightly to the
left, another soldier's body was splayed out across a large rock. Levi could
just barely make out the jagged edges of a broken skull beneath the corpse's
longish blond hair. If he looked closely, the Corporal could still see a faint,
rust-red stain on the gray stone, from where the man's brain had splattered out
as he'd fallen hard onto the rock. Erd...
A few yards away, another body lay splayed out against the trunk of a tree.
This one was missing most of its head, which had clearly been knocked off of
its body by a very forceful blow. All that was left now was a ragged bit of jaw
connected to a twisted neck. The earth around the corpse was colored an ugly
brown with old blood, as well as dried bits of the corpse's insides, which had
spilled out on the wood of the tree. Levi was only able to recognize this man
by the presence of a bloodstained cravat hanging loosely around his neck,
something which had caused Levi a slight twinge of annoyance whenever he'd seen
the man wearing it. Auruo...oh Auruo...
The worst, however, was the dead body lying to Auruo's right. Levi couldn't
help taking a few steps forward in order to see it more clearly. He moved as if
in a dream, a horrible nightmare that he couldn't wake up from. By the body's
position, Levi could tell that its spine had broken after hitting the ground. A
halo of short, reddish-brown hair was splayed out around the corpse's head, the
tips of the bright locks stained with blood. And those eyes - those bright,
honey-colored eyes that had once stared out at the world with a fierce energy,
hope, and determination to succeed - were now empty and dull. It felt
unnatural. Petra...please, not you, too...
It was then that the smell hit him. The stench of rotting flesh, of death,
dying, and decay. It was a scent that Levi had experienced countless times
after a battle, and it never got any easier to bear. It was the worst, most
horrible stench in the world, reserved only for the deepest kinds of Hell that
any man or woman could experience.
Levi's legs abruptly gave out from underneath him and he fell to his knees,
staring at the carnage around him. The Special Operations Squad. Levi's Squad.
The people that he had spent years training, who had fought bravely and loyally
by his side. They had all been so skilled - fast, strong, smart, and powerful.
They had to be, as Levi only chose the best to fight under his command. Erd,
Gunter, Petra, and Auruo...the people that Levi had come to think of as his
family.
Dead. Gone. All of them.
The Corporal found his mind wandering back to that cold winter's day months
ago, when they had been attacked by the Titans that would leave Levi, Eren, and
Jean stranded out in the wilderness. There had been so many of them. Had Levi's
Squad gotten too careless in their haste to pursue their captain? Perhaps more
Titans had shown up? Maybe it had proven too much to fight a group of the
monsters in a flat area, where it was extremely difficult and risky to use
Maneuver Gear?
It didn't matter. Squad Levi - every single member of Squad Levi - was dead.
Fallen in battle against the worst and most deadly enemy that mankind had ever
faced, just like most of the other soldiers Levi had fought beside. It seemed
as if in the end, it didn't matter to the Titans how skilled a soldier one was.
So many good, promising lives had been cut short by the monsters and their
insatiable appetite for human flesh.
Next to Levi, Jean, whom Eren had apparently also put down, was also staring at
the dead bodies of the former Special Operations Squad. The young soldier's
face was pale with horror, mouth pressed into a thin line and amber eyes wide.
Out of the corner of his eye, Levi could see Jean's body trembling slightly
with fear and sadness. A part of Levi's mind was telling him, as if from a
great distance, that he should get up and try to comfort Jean. The amber-eyed
soldier was still alive, after all, and it was Levi's duty as a commanding
officer to take care of him. And yet, he still couldn't bring his body to move.
He could only kneel limply on the forest floor, staring at the corpses of the
people he'd cared for.
Levi was stunned out of his stupor by a roar so loud that he very nearly
toppled over, and a flock of birds was startled out of a nearby tree. He got to
his feet and turned around to see Eren with his head thrown backward and big,
toothy mouth wide open, howling at the sky like an angry, injured animal. Jean
took a nervous step backwards, but watched alongside Levi as Eren vocalized his
pain. Levi hoped that Eren didn't attract any Titans, but he didn't have the
heart to order the brat to shut up. The Titan shifter probably wouldn't have
heard him, anyway. Although they had only known each other a short time, Eren
had come to care for the other squad members. And Levi knew that they had all
cared for Eren as well.
After a few minutes, Eren's cries slowly subsided. He once again turned to look
back down at the four corpses among the trees below him - corpses that had to
look impossibly tiny from a height of fifteen meters. Eren was panting heavily,
and making tiny, distressing little grunts and moans. Levi couldn't help
thinking that if Titans could cry, Eren would be sobbing right now. His heart
hurt a bit at the thought of his younger lover crying for any reason.
Eren turned to gaze down at Levi with those intense green eyes of his Titan
form, and waited for a moment until he was sure that Levi was paying attention
to him. Inwardly cursing for a few moments at his inability to speak while a
Titan, Eren slowly lifted a few fingers of one hand and dragged a long, deep
furrow into the earth. The dark soil stuck out against the lighter grass around
it like a great wound. Eren then gently reached out and, with the utmost care,
plucked Gunter's body out from among the trees. Levi looked at him now with
alarm and confusion on his face, but there would have been no way for the
Corporal or Jean to be able to reach the body with how high up it was, not
without 3D Maneuver Gear. A few wires snapped and a few branches were tugged
loose from the tree Gunter was tangled up in, but the body was ultimately
removed unharmed. Eren carefully laid Gunter down in the dirt, surrounded by a
nest of broken wires, and looked at Levi once again.
Levi understood.
"Come on, Jean," Levi said, getting to his feet. Thankfully, his voice was
steady and firm as always, although perhaps a shade too monotone to be
completely above suspicion. "Help me get the rest of the bodies over to that
ditch."
Jean stared at Eren, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Does he...want us to bury
them?" He asked incredulously. Levi didn't blame him. Burials of fellow
soldiers were very rarely performed, and never out in the field, where it was
simply too dangerous to do so. Any remains after an expedition were given to
the soldier's surviving family members. But that didn't mean that Levi was
going to pass up the chance for a burial now, to be able to lay his comrades to
rest for a final time.
Working together, Levi and Jean picked up the bodies of Petra, Auruo, and Erd,
and brought them over to the grave Eren created, where the Titan shifter gently
picked the bodies up and laid them neatly beside each other, in a row. Levi
felt as if he was working on autopilot, like someone besides him was moving his
body around in order to get things accomplished. He felt numb, completely empty
inside.
Gunter's 3D Maneuver Gear was obviously destroyed, and a closer inspection of
Auruo's revealed that the gas canister was cracked and all of the fuel inside
had spilled out. Petra and Erd's Maneuver Gears, however, were still in working
order. There was precious little gas left inside both, but it would be enough
to get through an emergency. Levi and Jean dug through the supplies until they
found their leather uniform straps, and silently went about putting on their
fallen comrades' Maneuver Gear, slipping their blades into the metal slots in
the front. It felt slightly reassuring to have Maneuver Gear on again after all
this time, but Levi couldn't bring himself to care about it too much.
When the bodies of Squad Levi were laid to rest, Eren sat back on his heels
before covering up the grave. He looked at Levi meaningfully, and Levi could
tell that Eren wanted him to say or do something. He felt a slight pang of
anger - he'd never been good at this, never been good at inspiring speeches or
articulating his feelings. Right now, Levi had no words, nothing he could say
that could possibly describe just how much those four people had meant to him.
For a moment, he stood there and did nothing while Jean sniffled and wiped at
his eyes and nose with the back of his hand.
Finally, Levi did the only thing he could think of. He stood at attention,
faced the bodies of his subordinates, and thumped his fist against his heart in
a salute. Jean copied Levi's motions, and even Eren made a giant fist and held
it up against his own chest. For a long moment they stayed like this, saluting
the courage and sacrifices made by Squad Levi. Erd, Petra, Auruo, and Gunter.
Finally, Eren smoothed a thick layer of dirt over the grave with his other
hand, covering the bodies up forever. Before long, Levi knew that new plant
life will grow over the earth, and no one will ever be able to tell that people
were buried here. Somehow, though, it seems strangely fitting. The anonymity is
a kind of peace that none of them were able to find in their waking lives,
filled as they were with battles and bloodshed.
Eren laid his hands down in front of Levi and Jean for the two of them to climb
up on. Once they have been deposited onto Eren's shoulders once more, Jean
leaned back in order to look at Levi around the Titan shifter's neck. "I'm so
sorry for your loss...I don't know what else I can say..." he muttered, casting
his eyes downward.
Levi faced straight ahead once more, at the horizon. "Let's move out," he
ordered, and Eren nodded once before continuing onwards past the small forest.
Before long, they had left the grave far behind them.
Levi does not look back.
-x-
For the rest of the day, Eren focused only on moving forward, putting one foot
in front of the other. He refused to think about the dead squadmates he'd just
buried. Just keep moving, Eren told himself firmly. Don't think. Just keep
moving. Jean sat miserably on Eren's shoulder, head resting on his knees as he
stared morosely off into the distance. Levi was as alert and attentive as ever,
but the harsh set of his jaw and the unusually blank look in his eyes would
have told an attentive observer how the Corporal really felt.
As the sun started to sink towards the horizon, Levi directed Eren to stop by a
thinly wooded area with a tiny brook weaving its way among the tree trunks
nearby. "We should rest here for the night," he said. "It'll do no good for us
to travel nonstop." Without waiting for Jean or Eren to reply, Levi grabbed a
lock of Eren's hair and swung around to cut the younger man out of the nape of
his Titan.
They set up a temporary camp by the edge of the brook, not too far away from
the steaming corpse of Eren's Titan form. The thing would disintegrate in a few
hours anyway, so it didn't matter how close or far away from it Levi, Eren, and
Jean were. Right now, Levi didn't really feel like much of anything mattered.
"You two stay here and get a fire going," he instructed, in the firm,
impersonal tone he used for ordering new recruits around. "I'm going to gather
more firewood for us, maybe see if I can catch a squirrel or something for
dinner. I'll be back before nightfall." With that, Levi turned and walked away.
Eren and Jean stared after the Corporal's retreating form, quickly vanishing
among the trees and thick underbrush.
"What are you waiting for?" Jean said, nudging Eren in the ribs. "Go after
him!"
Eren turned to look at Jean with worried eyes. "Are you going to be alright by
yourself?"
"Trust me, I'll get the food cooking quicker without your loud mouth around."
Jean fixed Eren with a sharp, serious look, the kind Eren hadn't seen on his
comrade's face since right after Trost. "Levi needs you. Go, already."
The turquoise-eyed soldier nodded gratefully. "Thanks," he said, before running
off into the woods after Levi.
Meanwhile, Levi tramped through the woods in a straight line, moving blindly
through the underbrush, uncaring of how much noise he was making. He didn't
know where he was going and right now, he didn't care either. Since the sun was
going down, he wouldn't have to worry about Titans for much longer. And if
anything else tried to give him problems, well, Levi was just itching to sink
his blade into something.
He probably should have expected it, but Levi was still surprised to hear
something crashing through the woods behind him, making just as much noise as
Levi had been, if not more. He gripped the hilt of his sword and whirled around
- only to be met with the flushed face and bright eyes of one Eren Jaeger.
Levi's hand fell to his side. "Levi!" Eren gasped, as he ran up to the older
man. "Thank goodness I was able to catch up with you."
"Eren, what the hell are you doing here?" Levi snapped, though his tone didn't
have nearly the amount of bite it usually did. He sounded heavy and tired,
above all. "You left Jean alone?"
"Levi, please - "
"No." Levi turned back around and started to walk forward once more. "Go back
to camp and wait with Jean. I'll join you shortly." He didn't want to be with
anyone right now. Levi had always grieved alone. He had no idea how to manage
sharing his grief with someone else, not even Eren.
"Levi, it's my fault!" Eren yelled after him, and those words made the Corporal
stop and turn around once more.
"What - " Levi started, but Eren interrupted him.
"It's my fault, Levi," Eren repeated softly. His big eyes were shimmering with
tears, making them gleam like jewels in the orange light of the setting sun.
"Do you remember, back when we first got stuck out here? We were being chased
by Titans, and I was going to transform." Eren closed his eyes, and felt hot
tears spill over and run down his cheeks. He didn't bother wiping them away.
Behind the dark of his eyelids, Eren relived that horrible winter's day. The
pounding of his horse's hooves through the snow, drowned out by the earth-
shaking footsteps and roars of the Titans only a few yards away. The feeling of
his hand against his mouth. Erd and Petra telling him not to transform, and
Levi saying that he needed to make a choice.
"Do you remember, Levi?" Eren balled his hands into fists, determined not to
start sobbing now. "You told me then that it was my choice, whether or not to
transform. And I - I made the wrong choice." Eren's stomach muscles clenched
as, despite his best efforts, a sob escaped him anyway. "If I'd transformed
back then and fought off those Titans, we would've made it back to the Walls.
Everyone would still be alive..."
Then Eren felt a warm body pressed against his own, and two hands gently
cupping his cheeks. He opened his eyes and looked down to see Levi, gazing at
him with an intensity Eren had never seen before. The smaller man's thumbs
moved to wipe Eren's tears away. And Eren didn't know who had initiated it, but
all of a sudden the two of them were kissing. Everything was hot and salty from
Eren's tears, and all Eren could think about was the feeling of Levi's lips
against his, Levi's tongue in his mouth.
Eren's arms came up to wrap around Levi's shoulders, and the two of them kissed
each other desperately, each needing the contact to affirm that the other was
alive in the midst of their grief. They were hurting, but they were both still
alive.
Levi and Eren finally pulled apart out of need for air, both of them breathing
heavily. Levi's hands were still cupping Eren's cheeks, and he tilted the Titan
shifter's head down to better face him. "Don't fucking say that, Eren," Levi
murmured. "You made a choice based on what you thought was right at the time. I
will never blame you for that," Levi leaned up to kiss Eren once more. "In the
end, all we can do is not regret the choices we've made," he said quietly.
A storm of emotions swirled in and around the Levi and Eren, raging inside of
them and shared through every kiss and touch. Intense grief, anger, pain,
arousal, and attraction clouded their minds, making it difficult to focus. Levi
found himself pushing Eren down to lie in the thick underbrush, yanking the
Titan shifter's shirt off in the process so that his hands could rove over
warm, bare skin. Eren's fingers fumbled at the buckles of Levi's straps,
cursing quietly at the difficulty of getting them off. "Why the hell did you
have to put the Maneuver Gear on?" He muttered.
Levi moved Eren's hands out of the way. "Just let me do it," he said, and
removed the leather straps with the practiced ease of someone who had worn them
for many years in the field. His 3D Maneuver Gear fell to the ground with a
dull thunk, and then Eren was pulling Levi's shirt off as well.
Looking down, Levi could see Eren's erection straining against his pants, much
like Levi's own was. He leaned over and rubbed their clothed erections
together, causing Eren to moan. "Levi...I...I want..."
"Eren," Levi whispered against Eren's ear. "I want to fuck you. Properly. Will
you let me?"
"Yes, Levi," Eren sighed, undoing the catch of Levi's pants and releasing the
older man's dick. Levi leaned back and sighed with relief at the feel of cool
air against the hard, heated flesh. He groaned at the feeling of Eren's hand
against it. "I trust you. Just...make me forget everything. Please."
Levi leaned down to capture Eren's lips in a bruising kiss, before yanking
Eren's pants and underwear down in a single, harsh motion that nearly ripped
the fabric. Eren kicked out of the restricting clothes, leaving them bunched in
a messy pile at his feet that Levi couldn't bring himself to care about right
now. He leaned down to give Eren's dick a few harsh strokes, causing the
younger man to cry out, arms wrapping tight around Levi's shoulders.
Levi gently lifted up Eren's legs, felt his cock throb at the sight of Eren's
twitching, pretty pink hole...and then cursed at the realization that he didn't
have any damn lube. He would hurt Eren if he penetrated him dry, and using spit
really wasn't much better, at least not for penetration. Not to mention that
the thought of spitting all over Eren's ass made Levi wince with disgust. It
looked like he might just have to settle with fingering Eren again...unless...
Levi pulled himself away from Eren, causing the boy to cry out in confusion,
and searched through the slats and compartments of the Maneuver Gear lying
nearby. The dim moonlight didn't make it easy, but Levi's fingers finally found
the small glass bottle and pulled it out. No soldier ever went without a bit of
oil for greasing their Maneuver Gear wires and preventing the whole thing from
jamming. He returned to Eren's side, gently kissing the younger man to
apologize for his abrupt departure. Levi popped open the bottle of oil and
dipped his fingers in, coating them with a layer of slick. Seeing Eren's
confused glance, he explained: "It's Maneuver Gear oil. I'm using it as lube,
since we don't have anything better right now."
Eren nodded, and Levi gently pressed his fingers against the rim of Eren's
entrance. "I'm going to stretch you now, or else it'll hurt when I put my cock
in. I've fingered you before, so you know how it works. Just relax, Eren."
Eren nodded, and hissed slightly as Levi's index finger pressed in. Levi
peppered kisses around Eren's face, and gave his dick a few good strokes in
order to take his lover's mind away from the sting of a foreign object inside
of him. He moved his finger gently, and after Eren's face had relaxed, Levi
gently inserted a second. He moved his two fingers in a scissoring motion,
reaching up in order to brush against Eren's prostate.
"Ah! Ah...ah...Levi...more..." Eren cried out as Levi touched his most
sensitive place. "Please...I need..."
"Not yet," Levi said, and carefully inserted a third finger, stretching Eren's
walls gently. "Fuck," he hissed as Eren's squeezed against his fingers. His
cock throbbed painfully at the sensation, and at Eren's sweet moans and cries.
"Levi...I'm...so full...please, let me come..."
"Eren, I'm going to fuck you now," Levi said. "I'll let you come just like the
dirty, eager boy you are once I'm in."
Eren looked up at him, and Levi's breath caught in his throat at the sight of
those big, beautiful turquoise eyes shining in the moonlight, looking up at him
with such trust and tenderness. Eren gently lifted a hand to caress Levi's
cheek. "I trust you, Levi," he whispered. "You can go ahead."
Levi removed his finger's from Eren's hole, causing his lover to let out a
disappointed groan at the loss of sensation. The Corporal dipped his fingers
into the oil once more and slathered up his dick, sighing at the feeling of
sensation against the hard, throbbing flesh. Precum was pearling at the tip,
and Levi didn't think he'd be able to last much longer if he didn't get inside
of Eren right fucking now.
The older man bent down, positioning his cock at Eren's entrance, and gently
started to press inside. "Ah!" Eren cried out, throwing his head back.
"You're...really fucking big, Levi..."
Levi kissed Eren once more, making hushed, soothing little sounds against
Eren's soft mouth. He reached around with his other hand to stroke Eren's dick
once more, in order to distract him from any pain, as he slowly pushed in, inch
by inch.
Before long, Levi had sheathed himself in Eren up to the hilt. The feeling of
Eren's tight, hot asshole clenching around Levi's cock was nothing short of
amazing. Levi's eyes fluttered closed. He felt as if he could come from the
sensation of being inside Eren alone. The Corporal would have confessed his
feelings to the brat ages ago, if he'd known that sex would feel like this.
There was another soft touch on his cheek, and Levi opened his eyes to see Eren
smiling at him, leaning in for a kiss. "You can move," he whispered, and Levi
nodded, gently pushing Eren back down as he started to gently thrust in and
out.
Eren moved his hips to meet every thrust of Levi's cock, crying out as the
older man repeatedly hit his prostate. It felt so good to have Levi so close to
him, inside of him. Eren never wanted him to leave. "Levi, more, I can take
it," he hissed.
Levi sped up the pace, losing himself in the hot, tight pleasure of fucking
Eren and at the younger man's cries of "more, more, I need to come!" As Eren's
hands came up to pull Levi close against his chest, pressing kisses into his
dark hair, all of Levi's walls seemed to fall away. He started talking, barely
even conscious of what he was saying, only that he knew all of his words were
true.
"I love you, Eren. I love you so, so damned much. Don't die on me. Fucking
promise me that you won't die, Eren. Please, I need you. I don't know what I'll
do if you die..."
Eren pushed back slightly, putting a bit of space between them so that he could
look at Levi's face. Coming to the realization of what he had just said, Levi
abruptly stopped moving inside of Eren, his eyes widening with panic. "Oh
shit...Eren..."
And then Eren's hands were touching Levi's face for the third time, only for
the tips of the younger man's fingers to come back glistening in the moonlight.
"Levi...you're crying..." he whispered in amazement, staring at the wet tracks
of tears rolling down Levi's face. To say that Eren was shocked would have been
an understatement. Seeing Levi, stoic, unsmiling Levi, actually crying was
something as amazing as if the Titans suddenly all disappeared tomorrow. Levi
didn't cry, not about anything. Eren hadn't even been sure that it was
possible. And yet, here Levi was, with tears running down his cheeks, making
his eyes gleam bright silver.
"Huh?" Levi said rather unintelligently, then lifted his own hand to his cheek,
surprised at the wetness he felt there. He honestly couldn't remember the last
time he cried. "I guess...I am." Levi looked at Eren, and something inside of
him clenched at the sight of Eren crying as well, those big eyes of his shining
even brighter with tears.
"Eren..." Levi murmured, holding his lover close, both of them sighing in
pleasure at the feeling of Levi's still-hard cock inside of Eren. "I'm sorry
Please don't cry. I shouldn't have said all of that stupid shit - "
He was silenced by Eren pressing a finger gently against his lips. "It's OK,"
Eren said, giving Levi a watery smile through his tears before leaning in to
kiss him. "I just - I love you, too, Levi. I promise I won't die. I promise."
Eren pressed his fist up against his heart in a salute, giving Levi the same
fiery look he'd had the first time the older man had seen him in that jail
cell.
Levi lost it. He leaned in to kiss Eren fiercely, the both of them tasting salt
in their mouths. The Corporal started to move once more, palming Eren's
flagging erection in order to bring it back to full hardness once again. He
continued kissing Eren throughout, swallowing all of the boy's pleasured cries
and whimpers, wanting to keep all of those lovely sounds inside of himself
forever.
Then Levi started to feel the pressure coiling inside of him, building at the
base of his spine, signaling his impending orgasm. He pulled away from Eren's
mouth. "Eren, I'm gonna...ahh...come..."
"Go ahead," Eren replied. "I'm close, too...it feels so good, Levi..."
Levi thrust faster, and Eren lifted his hips to meet him every time. Eren's
cock rubbed against Levi's stomach as they moved together, and it felt so good,
he didn't think he could take it anymore - "Ah, Levi, Levi - !" Eren cried out
as he came, so hard that he saw white. Spurts of come splashed against Levi's
chest and belly, and after one more thrust Levi was coming as well. The
Corporal's mouth opened in a silent cry, his brows furrowing as he filled Eren
up with his come, an action that made the younger man's limp and softening cock
give a last half-hearted twitch.
The two men slumped against each other, panting and sweating and smiling at
each other. They shared one last kiss before Levi pulled his softening cock
out, feeling smug at the sight of his come dripping out of Eren's hole. He
rolled off of Eren and immediately pulled his lover close in a tight embrace.
The two of them stayed like that for a few moments, each listening to the sound
of the other's heartbeat and breathing in a warm silence.
Levi was the one who spoke first. "So I assume that Jean was alright with you
running after me?"
"Yeah," Eren replied. "He yelled at me to come after you, actually."
"Hmph. Idiot," Levi said, but he was smiling, and his words held a fond tone.
"We need to get back to him soon."
"In a minute. Just...let's just lay here like this for a few minutes." Eren
nuzzled against Levi's collarbone, and the Corporal gently reached up to card
his fingers through Eren's hair.
"Alright, brat," he whispered, and the two of them laid curled up together,
pressed against each other, their bodies firm and solid in the blackness of the
forest.
Chapter End Notes
     This chapter would have been done a week ago, but I was slammed with
     a 15-page paper the first week of school. :/ GRAD SCHOOL, EVERYONE.
     Besides wanting to keep things as close to canon as possible in this
     fic, I had two reasons for writing this chapter. The first is that I
     wanted to give Squad Levi a proper burial. To me their deaths were
     especially tragic because there was no closure (I legit cried when
     they had to throw Petra's body off the wagon you guys). I also wanted
     Levi to have a real, genuine emotional reaction for once. In my
     opinion, he bottles his feelings up tight and just channels it all
     into killing Titans. I wanted to experiment with him having an actual
     emotional release for once (and a sexual one too cause I'm a perv hue
     hue hue).
     As always, thanks for the support, everyone. It means a lot. :)
***** Chapter 14 *****
Chapter Summary
     Our trio has one final showdown with a familiar enemy.
Chapter Notes
     So I had this edited two days ago and realized just today that I'd
     forgotten to post it. ^.^;;;
     Also, anime/manga spoilers for those of you who haven't watched the
     Ilse Langner OVA or read the chapter about her in the manga. It's
     only a sentence or two, but I just thought I'd put it out there in
     case anyone is really adamant about spoilers or something.
     Enjoy!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Despite their best efforts, Levi and Eren ended up falling asleep out in the
woods. Feeling safe and cozy with Levi by his side, Eren couldn't help falling
prey to the sleepiness invading his body, making his limbs heavy and his head
pleasantly drowsy. And Levi, who was both emotionally and physically exhausted
from the day's events, couldn't help curling closer to his lover's warm body
and slowly drifting off with his cheek buried against Eren's soft hair.
Levi woke up as the first rays of dawn were touching the horizon, turning the
sky from velvety black to a soft pearl grey. He yawned and stretched, turning
to look at Eren sleeping by his side. Eren looked absolutely beautiful while he
was asleep, and Levi couldn't help the soft smile that played at his lips as he
looked at his lover. Damn, but the brat was turning him into a sentimental old
fool. Eren's hair was even more adorably messy than usual, his mouth slightly
open as cute little squeaky snores came out of it. Eren had pretty long
eyelashes for a guy, and they fluttered nicely against the curve of Eren's
cheek. Levi couldn't help reaching out to gently stroke Eren's hair, enjoying
the way his lover made a slight noise and moved closer to Levi in his sleep.
Thank goodness Jean wasn't around right now, as Levi wanted to be the only one
who got to enjoy his sleeping lover -
The Corporal went rigid, his hand freezing against Eren's hair. Oh shit. Shit
fuck fuck shit! I forgot about Jean! Levi thought. He felt slightly sick as he
realized that he and Eren had left Jean back at camp for the whole night. What
if he'd had an accident, or wild animals had been attracted to the fire? Not to
mention the fact that he and Eren had fucking fallen asleep out in the middle
of the woods, with absolutely no protection from anything that might come
along. And the sun was coming up too, which meant that it wouldn't be long
before Titans would be stirring.
Goddamn, I am a stupid fucking idiot. "Eren," Levi hissed, shaking Eren roughly
awake. "Get up, we have to go."
"Huh?" Eren mumbled, slowly sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. It
would have been adorable if Levi wasn't still berating himself for making what
were possibly some of the worst decisions a commanding officer in the field
could ever make. The fact that he'd been grieving was absolutely no excuse.
"Wha - what's going on?"
"We fell asleep," Levi said shortly, finding the crumpled pile of Eren's
clothes in the brush and tossing them at the turquoise-eyed soldier. Eren
blinked blearily as the clothes fell into his lap. Levi grimaced at the state
of his own uniform - the fabric was crumpled and probably had grass stains;
what the fuck had he even been thinking last night. "Get dressed, we need to
get back to Jean now."
Eren's eyes went wide, all the sleepiness draining from his body as he came to
the same realization Levi had. "Oh shit," Eren hissed, and scrambled to get
dressed alongside Levi. Five minutes later the two of them had their clothes on
the right way and were hurrying along the trail of broken greenery they had
left last night, back towards the camp.
-x-
Levi couldn't help but breathe a huge sigh of relief as he saw that everything
in camp was, amazingly, just how they'd left it last night. Jean was sitting by
the fire, boiling up some water in his canteen. His body practically slumped
with relief upon seeing Levi and Eren once more. "Finally," he sighed. "I was
worried that you guys had been eaten." A smirk danced around Jean's lips as he
looked at Eren and Levi's messy hair and disheveled uniforms, but he didn't
dare to say anything in front of Levi. The Corporal was pretty scary when he
got mad, after all.
"Are you alright, Jean? I apologize for spending so much time away from the
camp," Levi said. "It was unacceptable, and I promise that it won't happen
again."
"It's fine," Jean said as he poked at his canteen with a long stick. "Just -
are you feeling any better, Levi?" His brow wrinkled with concern as he turned
to look at the Corporal. He and Eren looked on worriedly as Levi's back
stiffened, the loss of his squad once again hitting him full force. Eren went
immediately to Levi's side, laying a comforting hand against the Corporal's
shoulders.
"I'm alright," Levi said, as he went to sit by the fire. "I'm fine. What do we
have for breakfast?" And just like that Levi was all business again, rifling
through their packs in search of some dried meat or one of the few edible roots
they'd managed to pry from the ground over the last few weeks.
"Actually," Jean said, "I found something really good just a little while ago,
when I was looking for more firewood." Unable to suppress a huge grin, Jean
opened up the pouch at his waist and drew out two handfuls of ripe, red
berries, clearly the first of the season. Eren was at Jean's side in an
instant, gazing down at the fruits as if they were precious jewels. Of course,
to people who'd had nothing but wild game and the occasional root over the past
few months, they might as well have been.
"Give those here, I'll divide them up," Levi said, as calm as ever, but Eren
didn't miss the eager gleam in the shorter man's eyes at seeing the fresh
treats.
"Jean, I could almost hug you right now," Eren said.
"Ew, don't," Jean replied, flinching away slightly.
"Hey, I said almost."
Once the berries were divided into three equal portions, Levi, Eren, and Jean
sat around the fire and enjoyed their breakfast in a companionable silence.
Eren and Jean ate their berries slowly, one at a time, each of the boys closing
their eyes as they savored every bite. A few times, Levi heard one or the other
actually moan as they were eating. Levi himself boiled some water in his own
canteen and then added the berries, making a warm drink that, while it
certainly wasn't tea, was still a bit reminiscent of it. It was certainly a
hell of a lot better than that willow bark shit Eren had made for Jean when he
was sick.
As they ate quietly, enjoying the sunrise and the peaceful breeze wafting
through the trees around them, Levi couldn't help but feel at least a little
bit better. He was still mourning his squad's death, of course, but Levi had to
admit that he was feeling a bit more hopeful this morning. Of course, having a
certain bright-eyed, Titan-shifting, loud-mouthed brat by your side made being
hopeful a hell of a lot easier.
-x-
After packing up and putting out the fire, the three of them once again set out
into the wilderness, Levi and Jean riding on the shoulders of Eren's Titan form
as usual. Jean dozed in the crook of Eren's neck as they traveled, his arm
wrapped loosely around a long lock of Titan hair. Normally Levi would have
woken him up, but he still felt a little guilty about having left Jean alone in
the camp the night before. So the Corporal didn't say anything and scanned the
horizon, hoping that he wouldn't find more remains of fallen comrades today.
As the sun was just past its peak in the sky, they came upon a dry river bed
that wound its way through a small cave in the side of a hill. Levi put a hand
up to shade his eyes from the sun and looked hard at the cave, which seemed
familiar. He thought that the Survey Corps had spent a night in there during an
expedition, in fact. "Eren," he said into the Titan shifter's ear, and received
a low grunt in response. "Lower me down by that cave, it looks familiar."
Eren put a massive hand up next to his shoulder, letting Levi step on and
gently reaching down so that Levi could peer into the entrance of the cave. The
sun was shining at just the right angle so that a few flat rocks embedded in
the dirt at the entrance were illuminated. A few words had been carved into the
hard surface of the rock. Humanity's Strongest Squad: Levi, Erd, Gunter, Petra,
Auruo. Hanji was here! Moblit B., Nifa, Ilse L. Erwin's eyebrows were here. The
words had been scratched in by different hands - some lines shallow, others
deep, some letters messy, and some more organized.
Gazing upon the words of both the living and the dead, Levi swallowed against
the sudden tightness in his throat. He remembered, now, his fellow soldiers
gathering around the rocks as they'd packed up to leave the next morning.
Everyone, it seemed, had wanted to place their mark in a world that humans had
not ruled over for a long, long time. Lying half buried in the dirt near the
rocks, Levi made out the dull glint of someone's canteen that must have been
accidentally left behind. He reached out from around Eren's fingers and grabbed
the object, brushing some of the dirt off and smiling at the Wings of Freedom
insignia carved into the front.
"Bring me back up!" Levi shouted, and felt himself rise through the air, the
cave growing smaller and smaller beneath him, as Eren lifted his hand and
deposited the Corporal neatly back onto his Titanic shoulder. "We're close,"
Levi said. "The Survey Corps spent a night in here, I can tell." He tapped
Eren's cheek, and the Titan shifter turned slightly to look at the canteen Levi
held up. "There are a bunch of soldiers' names carved into the cave entrance as
well," Levi explained.
Eren let out a loud roar in response, causing Levi to hiss angrily and wince as
the noise assaulted his ears. Jean jolted awake with a startled grunt. "Wha -
wha' happened?" He cried, voice still thick with sleep.
"Brat, don't fucking do that!" Levi yelled into Eren's ear. "Are you trying to
make me go deaf!?" Eren made a quiet, almost sheepish rumbling noise, and Levi
huffed. "Just don't do it again, dammit. And Jean," he stepped carefully to the
back of Eren's shoulder, so that he could look around the Titan shifter's neck
and make sure that Jean had heard him. "We're close to home, I recognize that
cave down there."
"Really?" Jean practically squealed, his face lighting up like a child
receiving a birthday present. "That - that's amazing! After all this time,
we're finally gonna get home!" He whooped, throwing a triumphant fist up in the
air.
Just then, an angry roar echoed across the plains. Eren whipped around,
jostling Levi and Jean slightly in the process. Sure enough, striding across
the plains towards them was a group of Titans. Six of them, in fact, with three
smaller ones looking to be around four- or five-meter classes, and two larger
ones that were probably ten-meter classes, by Levi's guess. And in the center
of the group was a massive Titan that towered even over Eren's fifteen-meter
form, its eyes fixed on the Shifter and the two humans before it. And this
large Titan had a rather familiar head of tangled, dirty white hair.
"No way..." Jean gasped. "How - how the hell did that thing find us!? It's been
at least a month since we last saw it!"
The white-haired Titan let out another ear-splitting roar and started running
forward past its companions, its massive feet leaving huge craters in the earth
beneath it. "The fucking thing's definitely an Aberrant," Levi swore. "Normal
Titans don't run like that."
Eren let out an answering shout, having apparently forgotten what Levi had just
told him two minutes ago, and ran to meet the monster head on. He threw out a
fist, aiming for the thing's pale stomach, and there was a loud thud as flesh
met flesh. The massive Titan reeled back a few feet, then growled and reached
out a hand to slap Eren. The Titan shifter ducked, but was still caught by the
edge of the monster's blow. He stumbled, forcing Levi and Jean to hang on to
Eren's hair in order to keep from falling off of him. Eren managed to get his
footing, but by this point the other five Titans were upon them. Eren howled in
pain as one of the smaller ones sunk its sharp teeth into the meat of his leg.
"Fuck," Levi cursed. Eren's fighting skills as a Titan were pretty good after
all of the practicing they'd done, but there was no way he'd be able to fight
off five Titans while also having to deal with the Aberrant. He quickly checked
the tanks of his 3D Maneuver Gear and swore again. Levi would basically be
running on fumes, and he was pretty sure that Jean's fuel situation wasn't much
better.
One of the ten-meter classes reached out and shoved Eren, who let out another
pained growl as he caught the heavy blow against his chest. He reached down
with his arm and literally wrenched the five-meter class that had its teeth
sunk into his leg, and the ten-meter class that had just bit Eren took the
opportunity to grab Eren's arm and pull him towards the ground.
"Jean!" Levi shouted, grabbing hold of Eren's hair in order to keep from flying
off of the Titan shifter as he fell. The wind generating from Eren's falling
body whipped at his hair and face, and the world spun around him in a blur of
brown and green. "Activate your 3D Maneuver Gear! We need to help Eren!" Levi
pulled his blades out of their holsters and yanked hard on the triggers,
sending wires out to land on the back of the nearest Titan and propel the
Corporal forward through the air. Behind him, Levi heard the hiss of Jean's 3D
Maneuver Gear as the amber-eyed soldier went rocketing off towards the Titan
that had pulled Eren down. Out of the corner of his eye, Levi saw Eren land
hard on his hands and knees before slowly pulling himself back up, breathing
heavily. Those bright green eyes looked positively murderous.
Levi couldn't help the feral grin that spread across his face at the feeling of
whizzing through the air again with Maneuver Gear. It felt like freedom, with
the wind against his cheeks and the hard steel glint of the blades in his hand
making Levi think that this must be what it was like to truly be free. He felt
competent and powerful as he launched into a spin, letting out a harsh laugh as
he felt his blades slice through the nape of the Titan's neck as easily as
cutting through fresh-baked bread. The Titan let out a loud groan of pain as it
fell to the ground, with Levi already rocketing off towards the next Titan.
Jean gave a triumphant shout as a spray of blood erupted from the Titan he'd
just killed, and pirouetted through the air towards one that Eren had knocked
off balance with a well-time punch to the jaw. The Titan shifter turned and
barreled headfirst towards the Aberrant, letting out a loud shriek as he landed
a punch right against its lower abdomen. The monster growled and clamped its
two giant hands against Eren's arms with the intent of shoving him down, but
Eren dug his feet in and pushed back against it. The two of them grappled
together, Eren and the Aberrant both filling the air with fierce grunts and
roars as they fought.
Levi noticed one of the smaller Titans heading in Eren's direction, and changed
course to finish it off with another elegant swipe of his blades across its
nape before rappelling off to land against the a nearby tree and assess the
situation. There was only one Titan left now, and Levi watched Jean fly towards
it. The monster made a clumsy swipe at Jean, but he simply shot out a few more
wires, and whizzed around the giant hand. Jean's blades dug into the Titan's
neck, and Levi watched as the thing fell lifelessly to the ground, steaming
chunks of blood and flesh flying through the air around it. Jean had shown
quite good form for a novice, and Levi was impressed. The boy would make a fine
soldier one day, Levi was sure of that.
His feelings of exhilaration and triumph quickly faded to alarm as Levi turned
to see how Eren was doing. It was quickly becoming apparent to Levi that Eren,
despite putting up one hell of a fight, was losing against the huge white-
haired Titan. "Eren!" He shouted, zooming towards the Aberrant as fast as he
could. Levi felt white-hot rage boil up inside as Eren was shoved hard onto his
back, letting out a howl of pain as his head bounced off of a boulder.
The Aberrant leaned down and grabbed a handful of Eren's hair, using it to
smash his head down against the boulder once more. Eren roared, steaming red
blood dripping from a wound in the back of his head, dangerously close to his
nape. "Come on," Levi growled, willing his Maneuver Gear to go faster. If that
Titan somehow managed to get Eren's human body out of the Titan one, they were
all doomed.
Another set of Maneuver Gear wires shot out to Levi's left, and the sting of
hooks digging into its flesh caused the monster to turn around. Levi watched as
Jean flew at the thing, his eyes fixed on its body and his swords held high as
he screamed bloody murder. "FUCK YOU, BASTARD!"
Levi saw the Aberrant's hand reach out towards Jean before Jean did. "JEAN,
WATCH OUT!" Levi shouted, and Jean's eyes widened just as the Titan's hand
snatched him out of the air in the same way that a child would catch a ladybug.
Levi flew forward, shooting his Maneuver Gear wires from tree to tree as he
raced towards the Titan. Please, let me get there before it eats Jean...
But the Aberrant didn't eat Jean. It clenched its fist around him - not tight
enough to kill Jean, but enough so that he didn't have the room to use his
Maneuver Gear to escape. Levi caught one last look at Jean's terrified face
before the Titan turned and started running. Levi's eyes widened in shock. It
was very rare for a Titan, even an Aberrant, not to immediately eat any human
it had in its grip. But it wasn't unheard of - Levi remembered reading about a
similar instance in Ilse Langner's diary. Right now, he was thankful. It gave
him more time to get to Jean.
Levi soared and spun through the air, launching out wires to send him swinging
from tree to tree in pursuit of the Aberrant. Although there weren't many trees
around, there were just enough to make it so that Levi could continue his
pursuit. Yet it seemed that no matter how far and how fast he went, the Titan
was always just a bit too far away for Levi to latch onto it. And the Maneuver
Gear's engine was starting to make a disconcerting rattling sound, which meant
that it was dangerously low on gas. If Levi didn't make it to Jean soon, he
would simply fall out of the air to his death. As it was, he didn't even know
if he had enough fuel left to make it back to where Eren was.
"AHH! HELP! HELP!" Jean was shouting, and Levi could see him frantically
thrashing around in the Aberrant's grip to no avail.
"Hold still, Jean, before the damn thing decides to eat you!" Levi shouted, but
he wasn't sure if Jean could hear him now. His Maneuver Gear was coughing and
sputtering something fierce, and Levi wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able
to stay airborne. Fear started to gnaw at his stomach, its icy grip reaching
out to curl up tight in Levi's chest.
There was an ear-splitting roar behind him, and Levi turned around for the
briefest of moments, dreading the sight of yet another Titan pursuing him. Sure
enough, there was a large form racing across the earth with heavy footsteps,
quickly drawing abreast of Levi. The Titan's head was wreathed in a thin layer
of steam, outlining a great, toothy maw that looked positively demonic. But
there was no mistaking that tangle of brown hair and those ferocious green
eyes, fixed on the Aberrant with all the intensity of a predator going in for
the kill. "Eren!" Levi shouted in relief, and saw one great green eye fix
briefly on him in acknowledgement. He moved through the air as quick as he
could, determined now to take down the Aberrant with his lover's assistance.
With another loud roar, Eren literally leapt up onto the Aberrant, throwing all
of his weight forward and wrapping his arms and legs around the monster. The
Aberrant howled in pain, and Levi heard the telltale crack of breaking bones as
the thing stumbled and started flailing around, trying desperately to shake
Eren off. In its panic, the Aberrant's grip loosened just enough for Jean to
activate his Maneuver Gear and launch himself out of the Titan's grip. Levi
sighed in relief at seeing a set of wires latch onto Eren's back, with Jean
landing safely atop Eren a moment later.
The Aberrant fell to its knees, reaching its arms back in a desperate attempt
to pry Eren off of it. As it clawed at Eren's hair, Eren opened his mouth and
bit down hard on the Titan's shoulder, sending a spray of blood up in the air.
The monster fell to its knees, and Levi saw his chance. He launched a pair of
wires out to latch on to the Aberrant's shoulder blade and pulled himself
forward, launching into a spin and slicing neatly through the Aberrant's neck.
Fuck off and die, he thought fiercely as a spray of steaming blood burst into
the air around him. As the Titan fell, it turned its head just enough for Levi
to see one of its great dark eyes. And it almost seemed to Levi as if there was
a gleam of intelligence there, or perhaps of sadness, before rising clouds of
steam obscured the Aberrant's face entirely. It had probably been a trick of
the light, however. Titans weren't smart, after all. (Well, Eren was, but that
was different).
Levi pulled on the triggers of his 3D Maneuver Gear, ready to launch himself
back onto Eren, who had let go of the dying Titan and was standing back up,
steaming blood dripping from his mouth. But the Maneuver Gear only sputtered
for a moment before dying completely. Levi pulled on it again, twice, a third
time - but the Maneuver Gear still wouldn't start. Shit, I'm out of gas! Levi
thought in a panic as the dead Titan's body fell through the air. Without wires
to brace himself, it wouldn't be long until Levi was thrown completely off the
thing. "Eren!" He shouted, closing his eyes tightly against the wind rushing
past his face.
A heavy weight hit Levi across the midriff, knocking all of the air out of him
and sending him flying up and around through the air. The world spun dizzily
beneath him as Levi was deposited neatly onto a soft, firm surface. It took a
moment for Levi to catch his breath and blink the stars out of his eyes before
he realized that he had been deposited safely back onto Eren's shoulder. Levi's
own shoulders slumped in relief. "Thanks, brat," he murmured, leaning against
the Titan shifter's ear. "Are you alright?" He asked and received what sounded
like a happy purr in return. Levi smiled slightly. "Good to hear."
"Levi! Look!" Levi raised his head at Jean's yell, and looked around Eren's
neck at the amber-eyed soldier. Jean's eyes, wide and filled with awe, were
fixed on something far off in the distance. His finger, trembling slightly, was
pointing at a thin gray structure on the horizon. Something that was much too
straight and smooth to be only a mountain.
"It's the Walls!" Jean cried again, and he raised his fist up in the air with a
shout of laughter. "We've found the Walls! We're gonna make it back home!" He
reached out and hugged Eren's neck out of pure happiness. "Haha! That was
amazing!"
Levi sat down on Eren's shoulder, his eyes fixed on the horizon and, for the
second time in as many days, filling up with tears. Only now, these were tears
of happiness. Levi scrubbed a hand across his face before the tears could fall
and grinned. "Well, I'll be damned," he said into Eren's ear, as Jean whooped
and hollered with glee on Eren's other shoulder. "I never thought in my life
that I'd ever be happy to see those fucking Walls." He leaned over and gently
kissed the shell of Eren's Titan ear, enjoying the way it twitched afterwards.
"You did good, Eren. You did real good."
Deep inside the fleshy cocoon of his Titan, Eren smiled. We made it.
Chapter End Notes
     Midterms are a bitch, you guys. They take up time I could otherwise
     be using to write fanfiction... :(
     The white-haired Titan isn't a Shifter, for anyone who's curious. I
     have a headcanon that Aberrant Titans retain some small amount of
     human intelligence (which is why they act weird). So I was trying to
     kind of show that aspect of them in this chapter.
     I can't believe I'm almost done with this fic, I've been working on
     it for over a year already! Jeez...People have started and finished
     fics in the time it's taken me to write this. Thank you as always to
     all of you who have commented, left kudos, and followed me on this
     wild ride. Epilogue is up next! :D
***** Epilogue: Homecoming *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi, Eren, and Jean make it back home.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Within Wall Rose, it was a particularly fine early spring day. The sun shone
high and bright in an eggshell blue sky. The last few slushy piles of snow had
finally melted away to reveal the tender green buds of new flowers and leaves.
Swallows and robins could be seen fluttering and chirping about, staying low to
the ground in hopes of finding a good morsel to eat. The soft breeze was cool
without being too cold, gently rustling the short, black hair of a lone girl
sitting atop the massive Wall, looking out at the ruins of what had once been
human territory inside of Wall Maria.
Mikasa Ackerman had been coming up to the top of Wall Rose for a month and a
half now, ever since she had realized that Eren wasn't coming back.
Technically, no one was allowed up on the Walls save for members of the
Garrison, and the occasional specially-arranged trip for schoolchildren.
However, a few cold, dark stares from Mikasa's end were usually enough to scare
any soldier away from trying to convince her to leave. She wanted to be alone.
It helped that Hannes was now in a prominent position within the Garrison, and
he was the closest thing Eren, Mikasa, and Armin had to a parental figure since
Armin's grandfather had gotten sent away on that suicide mission to retake Wall
Maria years ago. Hannes had basically told everyone to respect Mikasa's space
or else risk losing a limb, and she was grateful for his help.
Mikasa found that she liked being up on the Wall. Aside from the occasional
Garrison soldier, there was no one else around but her, and she was too high up
to really hear much of anything from the streets below. It was the closest
thing Mikasa could be to the outside world, which Eren had always dreamed and
fantasized about seeing. It was where he had died, and where Mikasa now felt
closest to him. If she closed her eyes and breathed deep, then Mikasa could
almost imagine that Eren was sitting beside her, talking eagerly about all of
the wonderful things that the outside world had to offer. "Entire lands covered
in ice, Mikasa, and mountains that spit fire! And a body of water that
stretches out as far as the eye can see and is filled with salt...Armin called
it an "ocean!" We'll see it all someday!
On especially clear days, Mikasa could just barely make out the crooked spire
of the old town chapel back in Shiganshina. It always filled her heart with
bittersweet childhood memories, back when her greatest concerns had been
keeping Eren and Armin safe from bullies and getting enough firewood home by
dinnertime. Oh, how she missed those simpler, sweeter times.
A week after the small expedition that Eren had gone on with the Special
Operations Squad, when not even one soldier had made it back to HQ, the entire
Survey Corps had erupted into a nervous frenzy. The Corps' best soldier, his
elite squad, and their best hope for finally eradicating the Titans had all
seemingly vanished without a trace, and during a routine mission that had only
been intended for Eren to get a taste of what an actual expedition was like.
Speculations and rumors about what had happened to them were rampant. Soldiers
scurried about HQ like ants, doing everything they could to keep busy, while
the Commander spent entire days conversing with the other ranking Survey Corps
officers in his office. The nervous energy put Mikasa on edge, and she found
excuses to get away from HQ and hang around the main gate of Wall Rose, waiting
for Eren to ride in. For Eren to come home, back to where he belonged, with
Mikasa and Armin. She would scold him for making her worry so much, as she
always did, and then make sure that he got a decent meal, a bath, and a good
nights' sleep. Everyone would be happy and relieved that Eren was finally back,
and life in the Survey Corps would fall back into a normal routine - or as
normal of a routine as a group of elite Titan hunters could have, anyway.
After three weeks had passed with no word of the expedition, the Survey Corps
seemed to slowly but unanimously come to the conclusion that Eren, Lance
Corporal Levi and the entire party that had been sent out were dead. A heavy
gloom settled over the camp, like a thick weight that caused people to drag
their feet as if they were trekking through mud. Daily chores and training were
performed with a kind of dull, unenthusiastic slowness. It was quite a jarring
change from everyone's previous frenetic activity. It seemed as if everyone's
hope and optimism had evaporated, leaving only a kind of cold, miserable
resignation behind. Commander Erwin spent his days holed up in his office,
presumably holding conferences with his officers. Major Hanji wandered around
the training grounds muttering to herself in agitation, trailed by a very
worried-looking Moblit.
Those who had formerly been a part of the 104th Training Regiment were taking
the loss especially hard. They had lost two comrades, Eren and Jean. After all,
they had all known Eren from before he was "Humanity's Last Hope." They knew
him as a friend, a comrade-in-arms, a loud and enthusiastic young man who was
unmatched in his determination and conviction. The fact that Jean was gone as
well created a huge sense of loss that Mikasa personally didn't see their
little group coming back from. If anyone so much as mentioned Eren or Jean
around the 104th, a kind of stony silence came over everyone. Teeth were
gritted and fists were clenched as people tried to rein in their anger and
sadness. Someone - usually Sasha or Connie - would start crying quietly. It was
horrible.
The Commander came down to the mess hall and said a few words one morning,
about Eren and Levi's "brave sacrifice for the good of humanity," and about how
"we need to keep moving forward, even despite these tragedies." Mikasa didn't
remember the specifics of what he said. She refused to believe that Eren was
gone. These Survey Corps men and women didn't know her brother. They didn't
know how Eren had killed two men at the age of nine, how he'd survived being
swallowed by a Titan. There was no way, no fucking way, that Eren could die on
some bullshit routine expedition. He would come back, of that Mikasa was
absolutely sure. It was only a matter of when.
Mikasa kept herself as busy as possible, determined not to worry herself into
sickness. She ran laps, did crunches and push-ups, practiced with her 3D
Maneuver Gear. She weeded the vegetable gardens, scrubbed the flagstones in the
front courtyard, even mucked out the stables. At any moment she expected to
hear Eren shouting for her and Armin as he came running down the road up to the
front entrance of HQ. Mikasa would run up to him, wrap him in her arms, and
never let Eren go.
Although he was trying hard to keep up a strong front, Mikasa could tell that
Armin wasn't taking Eren's absence well. He'd been fairly close with Jean as
well, which only caused his grief to deepen. The tiny blond was practically
forcing himself to eat, and he went about his daily chores with a kind of
stiffness that Mikasa hadn't seen in Armin since just after the fall of Wall
Maria. Armin had started sneaking into Mikasa's bed at night as well, curling
up against her as if she was a rock, the only firm and steady thing he had left
in this world. It reminded Mikasa of sleeping pressed close to Eren and Armin
in the refugee camp when they were younger, the three of them close enough to
hear each other's beating hearts. They all fell asleep listening to each other
breathe, taking comfort in the fact that three of them were alive for one more
day. It felt wrong to only feel Armin's heartbeat and her own, without Eren's.
Some nights Armin excused himself in the middle of dinner after half-heartedly
picking at his meal, saying that he "needed to use the bathroom." After around
half an hour had passed and Armin inevitably didn't come back, Mikasa would
take Armin's dinner and a torch, and go out looking for him. Armin hadn't been
eating well since Eren had been presumed dead. He was already small and scrawny
for his age, and Mikasa didn't want Armin to start skipping meals on top of
that.
She would usually find Armin sobbing in some darkened corner of the training
grounds, and Mikasa would sit down beside him and rub his back while coaxing
food into him. It reminded Mikasa of shoving bread down Eren's throat when they
were children, forcing him to eat when his stubborn pride would otherwise have
refused the food. "He's d-dead, Mikasa!" Armin cried over and over, sniffling
into his raggedy dinner napkin. "Eren's dead!"
"Eren isn't dead, Armin," Mikasa said firmly. "He would never abandon us. He'll
come back. We're his family, and Eren will always come back to us."
Yet only two weeks after saying so, Mikasa herself, the last believer in Eren's
survival, realized that there was no way that her brother was still alive.
She was lying in bed at night, unable to sleep with the cold winter wind
howling outside, rattling the windows in their frames and slipping through the
cracks in the walls to nip at her toes. Mikasa was worried about how Eren was
faring in this cold weather. He had always been unusually warm because of his
Titan powers, but would it be enough to keep Eren from getting sick? Was his
cloak still in good shape? Did he have any food to eat? How was he keeping safe
from the Titans?
An image flashed in Mikasa's mind then, something she hadn't thought of in a
long time. Of Eren's Titan form in Trost, shrieking and howling in fury as it
was overwhelmed by Titans. Of how Eren's Titan body had finally fallen in a
crumpled steaming heap, and then abandoned by the Titans for dead. He had taken
so many of them down, but eventually Eren had been overwhelmed. Not knowing
that it was Eren yet, Mikasa had felt a brief pang of sorrow for the Titan that
had turned against its fellows and saved her life in the process. It had looked
so pathetic, lying there...until Eren rose up from the steaming corpse like a
phoenix, and Mikasa's heart had risen along with him.
Mikasa's eyes widened, her face turning pale from shock. There are so many
Titans outside the Walls, she thought blankly. And Eren can't control his Titan
form well. He'll eventually be overwhelmed. And he can move so quickly as a
Titan...it wouldn't take Eren this long to get back to the Walls. He doesn't
have a chance trying to get back as a human. He'd just get eaten. And what if
he wasn't able to transform at all?
Eren's dead, Mikasa thought numbly. The realization sunk deep into her body,
freezing her from the inside out, as if she'd just swallowed a huge chunk of
ice. He's not coming back. He's - he really is dead.
Mikasa didn't scream, didn't cry or get angry or lose her temper at all. She'd
never been the kind of person whose emotions got out of control after all. Her
expression as stoic as ever, Mikasa got up and flipped her bed over, blankets
and pillow and all. The loud crash of the bed frame hitting the floor startled
Sasha, Christa, and Ymir from sleep. Ymir didn't even get the chance to
properly curse Mikasa out before she was running outside into the winter cold.
Armin found Mikasa the next morning sitting atop Wall Rose, dressed only in her
sleeping pants and shirt and her Maneuver Gear. He had no idea how she'd
managed to get ahold of the Maneuver Gear either, since it was kept in a
tightly locked shed when not in use. By the blank look in her dark eyes, Armin
could tell that Mikasa had come to the same realization he had weeks earlier -
that Eren was dead. He didn't say anything, didn't try to pull Mikasa into a
hug or touch her arm comfortingly. Armin just sat down next to Mikasa, and the
two remained sitting atop Wall Rose in silence until someone from the Survey
Corps came up to admonish them for abandoning their chores.
Now, it was Mikasa who went about her duties with a stiff, miserable
determination. She forced herself to eat at meals and to practice alongside her
fellow soldiers with the 3D Maneuver Gear. The only reason Mikasa still had for
living was that Eren would have wanted her to survive. She knew that her
brother would be ashamed and angry if Mikasa killed herself now, and the last
thing she had ever wanted was to let Eren down. So she continued on, plodding
through her days in the same way tired way of a person trudging through a
swamp. The only time Mikasa felt much of anything was here, atop Wall Rose,
looking out at the world that Eren never really got to see.
The whir of 3D Maneuver Gear wires sounded beside her, and Mikasa sharply
turned her head to see a familiar slim body with chin-length blond hair land
neatly beside her. Armin had really improved with Maneuver Gear since their
training days, she realized idly. "Hey," Mikasa said quietly.
"Hey," Armin replied. "Squad Leader Nanaba wants to see you, said you and I are
going to be transferred to her squad. I've heard that her soldiers are supposed
to be good people, and easy to work with. We shouldn't have any trouble."
"Mm," Mikasa grunted noncommittally. "I'll be down in a moment." Just then, a
flash of movement caught her eye, and Mikasa turned back to look out beyond the
Wall. Running in a straight line right at them was the unmistakable flesh-
colored, humanoid form of a Titan. The creature's arms pumped at its sides as
it ran, taking long and confident strides. It seemed dead-set on reaching the
Wall.
Mikasa's eyes narrowed in suspicion. Titans usually wandered about aimlessly
below, their giant feet crunching over the rubble of what had formerly been
people's houses. Occasionally one of them would turn and paw half-heartedly at
the Wall like some kind of particularly stupid animal. She had never really
seen a Titan actually running before, and with what seemed to be a singular
purpose in mind as well. She frowned sharply, resting a hand on the blade at
her side. Was it an Aberrant? Or something like the Armored and Colossal Titans
that had broken down Wall Maria so many years ago? Mikasa wondered if she might
be allowed down to kill the damn thing before it was able to cause any harm.
"Armin. Look," she said, lifting a hand out to point at the Titan running
towards them.
Armin followed Mikasa's gaze, his own brows furrowing in confusion. "What is
that thing...?" He murmured.
"I don't know...it's pretty big. Why is it acting like that, though? Do you
think it's an Aberrant?"
"Could be," Armin said, rifling through the pouch at his waist and pulling out
a small pair of binoculars. "Hang on, I'll get a closer look." Armin put the
binoculars up to his face and looked out at the Titan, fiddling with a few of
the knobs in order to get a better focus. After a few moments, his mouth
dropped open in shock. "Holy Maria..." he whispered, awestruck. "I - I don't
believe it!" Armin lowered the binoculars, his hands shaking and eyes wide with
shock. "I...that's...how...?"
Mikasa looked at the boy who was practically her brother in concern. "Armin,
what's wrong?" When Armin didn't answer, merely stood staring out at the Titan
with his eyes wide and mouth open, as if the thing had been carrying the gates
of Hell on its back. Mikasa reached out and grabbed the binoculars from his
loose, trembling grip. She stood up and looked through them herself, wondering
what kind of incredible sight had turned the usually verbose Armin into a
stuttering mess.
The Titan running towards them came into sharp focus through the binocular
lenses. It was one that Mikasa had seen many times before, one that had always
filled her with hope. A lithe, tanned body, long and messy brown hair, a big
toothy mouth. And bright green eyes glowing with an unmistakable energy. Seated
on the Titan's shoulders were two very familiar, green-cloaked figures. A
stern-faced and short Lance Corporal Levi, and a madly grinning and waving Jean
Kirschtein.
Mikasa fell to her knees, dropping the binoculars at her side. Her vision went
blurry as tears streamed down her face. It felt like her heart had leapt into
her throat. For the first time in months, she was actually feeling again.
Relief, awe, and overwhelming happiness filled her up, threatening to burst out
of Mikasa's chest as she wept. "A-Armin, quick! Go get Commander Erwin and
Major Hanji, they need to see this!"
Armin still looked a little dazed, but a quick shake to his shoulder from
Mikasa seemed to snap him out of it. The blond's own eyes were shimmering with
tears, his lips spread into a wide smile as he nodded fiercely. "Yeah...yeah.
I'll go and get them now!" Armin yanked on the triggers of his Maneuver Gear
and leapt off the Wall, flying as fast as he could through the streets and over
the rooftops to Survey Corps HQ.
Mikasa lifted her arm and waved as hard as she could at Eren's Titan, receiving
an answering roar of affirmation. "Eren...oh, Eren! You came back to us!" She
cried, wiping at her eyes as laughter bubbled up in her chest.
Welcome back, everyone. You're home now.
Chapter End Notes
     It's actually done! Wow. This fic that I've been working on for a
     freaking year now is finally finished. I feel a little like I'm
     sending a kid off to college here. You're all grown up now, fic! Go
     on out into the world!
     I've never written Mikasa in any great length before, I hope she
     turned out alright. I love that girl. <3
     *sniffles, wipes away a tear*
     Thank you so, so much to everyone who read this and left comments and
     kudos! Your support means the world to me, and I'm so happy that this
     fic received a lot of positive attention! And thanks for your
     patience with my slow updates as well, I know I'm not the fastest
     writer out there. ^.^;;; You guys are the best. *kisses*
     OP, wherever you are, I hope you enjoyed this fic. I had a lot of fun
     writing it. Now I'm off to write more stories that hopefully won't
     take me a year to finish! *whizzes off on 3DMG*
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