Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1054771.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      Other
  Fandom:
      One_Direction_(Band)
  Relationship:
      Zayn_Malik/Louis_Tomlinson
  Character:
      Zayn_Malik, Louis_Tomlinson, Lottie_Tomlinson, Perrie_Edwards
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-11-22 Words: 4085
****** Better than Best Friends ******
by sunshineflying
Summary
     Louis has a secret he doesn't often tell. He did once, and he was
     burned. But Zayn is different. Zayn is Louis's best friend and he can
     trust him with anything - even this.
     In which Louis has female parts, identifies as a boy, always has, and
     probably always will.
Notes
     Please... if I've made any glaring mistakes regarding Louis and his
     sexuality, let me know. All my information I have gathered from
     following a few bloggers on Tumblr with a sexuality similar to his.
See the end of the work for more notes
Best friends for life.
When Louis asked Zayn to make that promise to him, he wasn’t so sure that Zayn
knew exactly what he was getting into. He was promising to accept and love
Louis for who he was, no matter what.
For Louis, that was a big deal. Nobody aside from his family had ever done it.
Every time Louis would open up and tell someone his deepest secret, they’d run
scared. They’d get freaked out, cut and run, and Louis would never see them
again. It might end up the way things did in Doncaster, where he told someone,
and they proceeded to inform the whole school and Louis’s family was forced to
leave out of worry that Louis might take his own life in the process of dealing
with the conflict.
So now Louis and the rest of the Tomlinson family resided in Braford. They had
since Louis was fourteen. Louis was set behind a year thanks to skipping class
so much during the year-that-must-not-be-discussed, as Louis dubbed it. Zayn,
however, was brilliant, and he was a year ahead. Zayn might have been twelve
but he was smart, and he was in Louis’s year. They hit it off right away.
See, Zayn took none of anybody’s shit. He’d call them out on something and
quite a lot of children feared him because he was different. Zayn liked having
control without often having to assert it. When he hadn’t been able to get
Louis to leave him alone, he caved. Louis kept pestering him – why are you
glaring? And other stupid things like that Scooby Doo shirt is so two years
ago. Zayn laughed, and he was amused by Louis. He didn’t quite want to lose him
now.
So best friends they became. All the way through their final year of school,
Louis and Zayn were inseparable. Louis was the carefree boy, always smiling and
sarcastic and messing around jokingly. He was great at football but refused to
play on the school team. Even when Louis went on and on about how much he
wished he could go pro, Zayn never asked why he didn’t try to get on the team
then. It felt oddly intrusive, even though they were best friends.
“You have to tell him,” Louis’s sister Lottie told him firmly one evening just
months before they were to graduate.
Louis was conflicted, though. He didn’t want to lose this friendship with Zayn.
It was the best friendship he’d ever had; risking it over something as silly as
the real him seemed ridiculous. He wouldn’t do it.
But on graduation night as they sat around Zayn’s empty flat while his family
was away, sipping beers and easily working their way through a pack of
cigarettes out on the patio, Louis knew it was time. He sighed and said, “I
gotta tell you somethin’, Zayn.”
His speech was a bit slurred, but Louis wasn’t drunk. He was happily buzzed and
conscious of what he was about to say. Zayn just let out a grunt and glanced
over to show that he was paying attention, and Louis said, “I’m not a boy.”
Zayn was instantly baffed. It was sobering, hearing the words come out of
Louis’s lips. He shifted on his chair to face Louis properly, and he asked,
“What’re you talking about?”
“I’m not a boy,” Louis repeated. He took another swig of beer to boost his
confidence. “I’ve always wanted to be, but… that’s all I am. Want.”
Zayn’s eyebrow was cocked high on his face and he just shook his head. He
stamped out his cigarette and set aside his beer can, and he said, “Louis, of
course you’re a boy.”
“No, I’m not. I haven’t got the right parts,” Louis sighed.
“But you haven’t got tits,” Zayn said bluntly.
“I’ve got slight ones,” Louis replied simply. “I bind them.”
“You what?”
The situation was really confusing for Zayn, but he was filled with curiosity,
not hatred. Louis glanced around because he didn’t want the wrong people – or
any other people – hearing. “Can we go inside? I’ll explain everything,” Louis
sighed.
Zayn nodded and followed Louis into his house. They walked all the way up to
Zayn’s bedroom, a familiar route for both of them now, and took a seat. Louis
sighed and watched as Zayn’s eyes never left his body, and he broke down. “I
bind my chest. Here,” Louis said, and tugged his shirt off.
Just as he’d said, there was a tight fabric wrapped around his torso, right
where a set of breasts would be. “They’re not very big to begin with, but
that’s alright. Makes ‘em easier to cover up,” Louis explained as he blushed
scarlet. He was really trusting Zayn not to misuse this information. “I’ve been
saving up for years to have an operation, to get them removed, you know? But
until then…” Louis shrugged.
Zayn’s eyes were lingering on the fabric, tightly wound around Louis’s chest,
and he asked, “So… you were born with female parts, is that what you’re
saying?”
Louis nodded and fearfully squeaked, “Y-yes.”
Zayn dragged his eyes back up to meet Louis’s and he asked, “Why didn’t you
tell me sooner?”
“Why do you think I moved here? When I was younger… well, my whole life mum has
just let me be a boy. I wanted boy things so she let me wear them. I told one
of my friends back in Doncaster that I… well, that I was born this way, but
that I was a boy. He didn’t get it. He told the whole school and everyone
ridiculed me,” Louis explained. It was hard to revisit the past, and he felt
this horrible wrenching feeling in his gut. He sat down as he said, “My whole
family moved here for me. It wasn’t because of my mum’s job, like I told you.”
It took Zayn a few moments to process, but when he did he said, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Louis asked fearfully. His heart rate quickened and he worried that
he was going to lose Zayn in that moment.
“For what that asshole did to you,” Zayn replied simply. “You are who you are,
there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Louis stared at Zayn, jaw dropped in shock. He couldn’t believe what he was
hearing. Happy tears started to well in his eyes and Louis asked, “A-are you
serious? Are you drunk or something, is that why you’re saying this? I… Zayn,
this isn’t funny, this isn’t a joke, I need you to be okay with this…”
Zayn just stood up and walked over to Louis. He sighed and said, “I’m not
drunk, and yes, I’m serious.” His eyes bore into Louis’s and it was though he
was trying to drive the point home. Louis only needed one look and he
understood. “I’m okay with this. You’re my best mate. We get along and we’re
partners in crime. You think that’s going to change just because you don’t have
a dick?”
Louis couldn’t believe it.
He burst out laughing at the crude word and the simple way in which Zayn said
everything. Louis pulled him into a massive hug and Zayn just hugged him back,
smiling. He knew this meant a lot to Louis. Zayn pretended not to notice the
tear streaks on Louis’s face because he could tell that Louis was trying to
hide the fact that he was crying. Instead, Zayn just said, “Is… well, can I ask
you some questions? I’ve… never met a guy like you before.”
Louis nodded. He sensed that Zayn was nervous, that he was trying not to say
the wrong thing, and as they sat down on Zayn’s bed, Louis told him, “You won’t
offend me with anything, you know. After the whole mess in Doncaster, I don’t
think anyone can really upset me that badly anymore.”
So Zayn began to ask questions. Louis told him that he’d just always acted like
a boy his whole life, and his mum didn’t make a big deal out of anything. She
let him be a boy. Louis confessed that he’d never be able to thank her enough
for that. All four of his younger sisters just accepted it and had no problem
with it either because that’s just what they’d grown up knowing. Zayn could
tell that Louis seemed to appreciate that fact the most.
Louis explained that he had always felt like a boy, even without the proper
genitals, and that he didn’t see anything wrong with it. He’d bind his chest
and thankfully his voice was already somewhat similar to a boy’s, and that was
that. “Okay. So… you’re a boy, but… since you’ve got the girl bits, does that
mean…?” Zayn trailed off.
He had three sisters, and he knew enough from living with them his whole life
to know that one week out of every month they were rather miserable. Louis
blushed and looked down, and he said, “Yeah. That’s still… a thing I have to
deal with.”
“I’m sorry,” Zayn offered. “That must suck. Sex ed was probably completely
useless to you.”
Louis let out a laugh and said, “You have no idea.”
“Is it as bad as they say?” Zayn asked, amusement on his face.
Louis just pulled a pained expression and replied, “Worse.”
Zayn and Louis shared a laugh in that moment; it did more to release the
tension than actually express what they were feeling. Zayn was filled with so
many questions, but he knew Louis, and he knew that he didn’t trust often, so
he knew he needed to stick around even if he might have wanted to process this
on his own, too. Louis would be his best friend no matter what, and Zayn really
wanted to make sure that Louis understood that. After a pause, Zayn asked, “So…
when it comes to sex then, what do you…?”
“I don’t?” Louis offered.
“Why not?”
Louis sighed and needed to really consider how he was going to answer. “I
don’t… well, I don’t trust people. Nobody would understand,” Louis explained
sadly.
“I would,” Zayn said simply.
Confused, Louis glanced up to see Zayn just looking at him, expression
completely relaxed. “I don’t even know what I like. I’ve never…” Louis
admitted.
Zayn raised an eyebrow. “You’ve never once gotten yourself off?” Zayn asked.
“I’ve never wanted to,” Louis shrugged.
Zayn nodded, and he said, “I get it. That’s fine. I mean… no pressure.”
Louis decided that this was his chance. Who better to learn likes and dislikes
with than his best friend? In a quick, sudden movement, Louis reached out for
Zayn and took his hand as eh said, “I… I’d trust you, you know. To erm… help.”
Zayn was honestly shocked that Louis was trusting him with so much so fast, but
he supposed it kind of made sense. It wasn’t every day that Louis found someone
so accepting of his body for what it was, regardless of the way he dressed or
presented himself to the world. But instead of just getting down to it, just
touching Louis and giving him ideas of what he might possibly enjoy in the
future, Zayn took it slow. Just because Louis was confused, didn’t mean he
deserved anything less than an amazing first time (if it even went that far).
He pressed his lips softly to Louis’s, who seemed surprised before he slid his
arms around Zayn’s shoulders and leaned back on the bed.
Louis’s heart was already beating wildly in his chest. A little voice in the
back of his mind kept chanting that this was a joke, that something was going
to go wrong. But he knew that Zayn could be trusted. Nobody had ever been so
eager to understand before.
Zayn settled himself on the bed above Louis, his legs between Louis’s where
he’d parted them so naturally. “You know…” Zayn whispered as he kissed Louis.
“Guys and girls like having their tits played with…” He dragged his hand over
the binding, and he whispered, “You could try it if you wanted.”
As Zayn’s fingertips grazed a nipple through the fabric, Louis let out a
squeak. He squirmed on the bed and then sat up, and for a fleeting moment, Zayn
thought that Louis was about to change his mind. But instead, he was
unfastening the binding, twisting it off of his body, and tossing it aside.
Zayn looked over to see Louis, this time sitting in front of him with exposed
breasts. They were small and perky, large nipples that were a dark pink, a
stark contrast to Louis’s light skin. “C-can I?” Zayn asked, his hand lingering
just there between his body and Louis’s.
Louis swallowed hard, his teeth biting down on his already swollen lower lip.
His eyes were dark, his body already succumbing to the lust he felt towards
Zayn. Zayn’s hand was warm where the room was not, and he could cover Louis’s
entire breast with one hand. The cold drew Louis’s nipples hard before Zayn
even touched them, but Zayn liked the feeling of the little bud of nerves
between his fingers. He liked even more the sounds that came out of Louis’s
mouth at the feeling.
With a smile, Zayn began to kiss along Louis’s collarbone, dipping his kisses
lower until he could wrap his lips around one nipple while teasing the other.
Louis was moaning wantonly above him on the bed, and Zayn felt proud to be the
first person to make Louis feel so good in this body that he’d been conflicted
with for so long. Zayn kissed lower, over Louis’s adorable little tummy, down
to the waist of his jeans. He pulled them off slowly, and as Louis sat there in
nothing but his pants, Zayn looked down at him with a smile.
Louis’s arms covered his body instinctively, but Zayn just guided them away.
“You look perfect, mate,” Zayn said simply.
“Don’t forget I’m a boy,” Louis told him nervously.
Zayn shook his head and replied in a low, husky voice, “I could never.”
To level the playing field a bit and relax Louis, Zayn climbed off the bed and
slowly took off all of his clothes. Then he reached out and gently pulled
Louis’s pants away from his body, revealing that he had a light dusting of hair
over what was very obviously considered “girl” parts. Zayn wanted to lean in
and taste Louis, but before he could, Louis’s timid voice broke the heavy
silence. “Zayn? Can I… I want to um…” he climbed off the bed where Zayn was
still standing and then got down on his knees.
Zayn’s jaw dropped, and he wanted this so badly. His seventeen year old body
responded eagerly to the suggestion, and he was already beginning to harden at
the thought. Louis leaned in, his breath ghosting over the tip, before he
nervously took Zayn’s cock into his hand. Louis’s hand seemed so little all of
a sudden, and he stroked a bit before wrapping his mouth around just the tip,
his lips closing around as he swirled his tongue. Zayn shivered and nearly fell
over.
He looked down and watched as Louis bobbed his head slowly, experimenting and
seeing how much he could take. Zayn grew to hardness rather quickly, the sight
of Louis so debauched turning him on significantly. Louis let out a soft moan
and spread his legs just a bit, and now suddenly Zayn was curious. At the same
time, he was confused. If Louis saw himself as a gay boy, did that mean he
wanted to ignore the fact that he had a vagina? Or would he like being touched
there? Zayn didn’t know, but he also thought that perhaps Louis didn’t quite
know either. So, he leaned back and pushed Louis’s fringe out of his face, and
then helped him onto the bed. Zayn brought Louis’s body to the edge of the
mattress and then he kneeled down to get the right angle. Slowly, Zayn pressed
Louis’s folds apart to get a good look, and Louis looked flushed and slightly
worried. “If you don’t like something, just tell me,” Zayn said simply. “I
promise it won’t make me angry.”
Louis nodded, and then Zayn leaned in slowly, dragging his tongue slowly over
everything, tasting Louis. Louis gasped and let out a low moan, his whole body
writhing on the bed as he squirmed. Zayn found the hardened little bundle of
nerves and sucked at it. He teased Louis’s clit like that for a bit, using
kisses and little nips from his teeth and lots of suction too, until Louis was
dripping wet.
To figure out just what Louis wanted, Zayn slid his fingers over Louis’s wet
pussy, dragging them down over his hole to see what he’d do. Louis whined and
squirmed, and he didn’t seem as into it as he did with his pussy so Zayn
decided to just stick with that for now. He eased in a finger just to the first
knuckle and watched as Louis’s back arched again at the intrusion. “Is this
good?” Zayn asked softly, his breath puffing out against Louis’s thigh.
Louis nodded and barely managed to gasp out, “Y-yes.”
Zayn had only ever been with one girl, and that was his ex-girlfriend Perrie.
They dated when the two of them were sixteen and they’d had sex, but that’s
where the spark burned out. Zayn was just grateful he’d had the experience with
her (and lots of critique from her as well) to make Louis’s first time better.
“What do you want me to do, Louis?” Zayn questioned.
He didn’t want to just fuck Louis if that would make him uncomfortable. Zayn
wanted Louis’s permission. Louis gasped and whispered, “I… I want you to… I
want you in me.” Louis blushed furiously as he looked down at Zayn.
“Where?” Zayn asked slowly, his fingers gliding over Louis’s pussy, and then
back to his ass.
“Um…” Louis bit his lip. He was only nineteen and not nearly as comfortable
with using such sexual words as other people his age. Instead, he decided to
just point to it, so to speak. “H-here,” Louis gasped, reaching down to slide
his fingers over his dripping wet pussy.
Zayn watched the way Louis touched himself so intimately, and before he did
anything else, he reached out and pulled Louis’s fingers to his lips. He licked
the wetness off of them, tasting Louis on his tongue. Louis stared, wide-eyed,
as Zayn sucked his fingers so slowly and in such a dirty way. It sent a shiver
down Louis’s spine and he suddenly wanted more, and fast.
Zayn reached around for his jeans and found his wallet, where he still kept
condoms even if he didn’t know enough girls for it to really make a difference.
He pulled it out of the package and rolled it onto himself, and then he guided
Louis properly up onto the bed. Louis was flushed and breathing heavily, and
even with small, pert breasts and a pink, wet pussy, he still looked like a
boy. Zayn didn’t fully comprehend, but he didn’t think he needed to. He just
needed to accept Louis for who he was, and everything would be fine.
Louis was whimpering, nearly begging for it, and Zayn slowly aligned himself
and began to press forward. But Louis was a virgin, and his body didn’t take it
right away. Zayn’s cock slid out and up over Louis’s clit. Louis gasped and
Zayn cursed, and then Zayn tried again. He slipped inside of Louis the second
try, and Louis’s expression became both pained and overwhelmed all at once. He
was extremely tight around Zayn’s cock, and Zayn was trying to figure out what
was happening.
“Zayn, I…” Louis gasped, and he let out a soft squeak before his face went
slack and his body trembled. He came just as Zayn was sliding inside of him,
his body overwhelmed by the intense sensations that he felt just from that.
Louis had a thin sheen of sweat over his forehead, and he swallowed hard before
looking up at Zayn. “You okay?” Zayn asked, his cock still only half-way inside
of Louis.
With a nod, Louis smiled and his eyes drooped as he said, “Yeah, I’m good.”
Louis had never had an orgasm before that moment, but it was good. It wore him
out and he felt it throughout every inch of his body. But even though he’d
experienced one, he wanted another. It felt amazing and the fact that Zayn
liked him just the way he was drove Louis absolutely insane. Zayn began to
press inside more, and the pressure was almost too much for Louis to take. When
Zayn bottomed out, Louis breathed heavily and pulled him into a sloppy kiss.
Their teeth crashed together and Louis sucked messily at Zayn’s lower lip, but
it was good. Louis was overwhelmed with pleasure. Zayn just felt proud that he
could make Louis feel so good.
When Zayn began to rock his hips, Louis squeaked again. If he kept doing that,
Zayn knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on for much longer. Louis’s body
trembled, and he whispered things Zayn couldn’t understand as his body tensed
around Zayn again. “How did you do that?” Zayn asked in shock.
Louis looked so blissed out now that he’d managed to come twice in just a few
short minutes. Louis shook his head and smiled, “I don’t know. But it’s good.”
“Yeah?” Zayn asked hopefully. He liked to know that he could make Louis feel so
good. Louis nodded, and he brought his hands up to his mouth as Zayn slowly
began to move his hips.
Louis hadn’t expected it to feel so good. His body was exhausted from two
orgasms, yet wanted more. He wanted to feel more from Zayn, feel him move
faster and deeper. At the same time, though, it was just enough and maybe even
too much. Louis was so sensitive, but the sensitivity wasn’t going away. He
began to wonder if that’s just the way his body was wired. “F-faster,” he
begged of Zayn.
Zayn couldn’t watch Louis unless he wanted to come, so he buried his face in
Louis’s neck and thrust harder, soft slapping noises being heard as their
bodies connected repeatedly, Louis rocking his hips in time to meet the
thrusts. “Oh my god, Zayn,” Louis moaned softly, scratching at his back.
Everything might have been confusing for Zayn at the beginning, but now things
were basic. Louis felt good. Zayn felt good. This trust they shared hadn’t been
broken and now they were as connected as two people could possibly become. He
moaned and bit softly at Louis’s neck. “Zayn, I…” Louis gasped.
Zayn was so close, but he wanted to see what Louis needed. He leaned back, only
to see the way Louis was closing his eyes, face contorted in pleasure as he bit
at his nails, seemingly conflicted about how he felt. But I wasn’t conflict and
Zayn knew it, because Louis would fight back if he didn’t like it. This was
pleasure. Louis bit his nails to hold back the sounds but Zayn pulled them
away. They were home alone and Louis could make all the noise he wanted.
Zayn thrust faster and Louis’s back arched high off the bed as he moaned. Zayn
held Louis’s hips in place and thrust a few more times, coming hard just at the
sight of Louis doing the same.
When Louis came down from it all, he draped an arm over his eyes and just lay
there, catching his breath. Zayn pulled out of Louis and rolled off the condom,
tossing it into the trash bin. Then he rolled onto the bed next to Louis, who
was already pulling on his pants. He did that and then fastened his binder on
himself again, and Zayn didn’t protest. Covered up, looking more like a boy,
was how Louis was the most comfortable. He didn’t put on anything else after
the binder and pants, and instead just curled up into Zayn’s side.
“Thank you,” Louis said softly, and his words were full of so much meaning Zayn
didn’t even have to wonder just how much he was saying through those two simple
words.
“No need to thank me,” Zayn insisted. “We’re best friends.”
“Yeah,” Louis smiled, lazy and happy right there in Zayn’s arms. “Best
friends.”
End Notes
     Please, I try to write accurately, so if there's anything I can
     change or fix, just let me know. I really tried not to offend, so if
     I have without realizing, please just kindly notify me.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
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