Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/11087979. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Underage Category: F/M, M/M Fandom: The_Walking_Dead_(Telltale_Video_Game) Relationship: David_García/Javier_García Character: Javier_García, Kate_García_(Walking_Dead_Video_Game), David_García, Gabriel_García, Mariana_García, Clementine_(Walking_Dead_Video_Game), Tripp_(Walking_Dead_Video_Game), Eleanor_(Walking_Dead_Video_Game), Max_ (Walking_Dead_Video_Game), Original_Female_Character(s) Additional Tags: Brother/Brother_Incest, Canon-Typical_Violence, Alternate_Universe_- Canon_Divergence, legally_underaged_for_a_small_portion_of_the_fic because_javi_is_17, Domestic_Violence, Post-Traumatic_Stress_Disorder_- PTSD, Other_Additional_Tags_to_Be_Added, Unhealthy_Relationships Stats: Published: 2017-07-01 Updated: 2018-02-21 Chapters: 11/? Words: 8903 ****** Before (It's too late) ****** by hands0me_rhys Summary If things had been different, they wouldn't be here. ***** I. Jupiter ***** Chapter Notes DISCLAIMER: In no way do I condone underage and/or incestuous relationships. I do not, under any circumstance, think it justifiable for a teenager to be intimately involved with a grown adult. There is a bold line between fictional and reality. This is a fictional work. These characters do not exist in the real world. I do not wish to offend or harm anyone mentally or physically, and feel that it must be brought to attention as to not hurt anyone or indirectly cause ill intent. You have been advised. "Where did you go?" Javier could feel the tension, his older brother on the porch and looking like a kicked dog; like he's been thinking too hard and started drinking to accompany those impending thoughts. Javi wasn't.. he's not like David. He isn't violent, or aggressive; maybe that's because his older brother was so hostile if Javi said anything he didn't like— sometimes he felt like the big brother, with how many damn tantrums David threw, even at twenty-two.  Javi hasn't even graduated high school, and he's still taking bullshit from him because 'that's what brothers do, mijo,'or something on those lines that Pa repeated so often. No one is home, Pa having taken their mother out on a date night, leaving David at home; that made it harder to just go on up to bed. David always has something; if it's not one thing, it's the other. If Javi does something inconvenient for him, there was certain hell to pay and the younger sibling just bit his tongue and learned to quiet down.  "Out, man. Nothing serious." He went to a party with a couple of other seniors in his class. Javi was— he was a little drunk, but not readily enoufh to fall over and pass out. His head is throbbing, though. David looked like he wasn't content with that response. He never was. "I went to a party. Don't worry, officer, I got permission." His tone is laced with light sarcasm, and his older brother pursed his lips. Not like he could talk; David looked pretty wasted as it is, assuming by all the empty beer bottles stacked messily in the cardboard casing at his side. "Why do you always have to be such a smart ass?" The man hissed, and Javi furrowed his eyebrows.  “It's just a joke, David." He wanted to just go to sleep. God, but he knows if David wasn't taken inside, he wouldn't go.  Something's bothering him; he wants to take it out on everyone else. Javier tried to be understanding, he really did, but sometimes David was so... suffocating. "It's not fucking funny." He doesn't know where it's coming from, but he squeezed his fists for a split second, and went lax afterwards. "Damn it. I'm sorry, okay? I'm going to bed. You should, too." Javi gets closer, jacket barely keeping him warm in the nightly chill. His older brother didn't look too well, either. "I'm fine." David responded, restrained and stand offish. "You look like you're freezing. Come on, bud." He won't remember it tomorrow, and the least Javi could do was bring him inside so he doesn't catch a serious case of hypothermia. Their parents would be pretty pissed, anyway. He moved in haste, one palm settling over David's shoulder and the other reaching to grab his hand. The older man tried to push him off, but he's too uncoordinated to do any real damage. "Seriously, man? Are you really going to do this?" Javi could feel his own patience dwindling from the headache and the lack of sleep. Regardless, he's pulling David to his feet. "Fuck you." It's the only audible thing that Javi could hear. He snorted as he pulled his arm over his shoulder and wrapped his own around David's side. His brother was still a good few inches taller, but he's leaning so much on Javi that it doesn't seem to matter.  It's not until they're halfway upstairs and his brothers breaths on his neck, does he notice how uncomfortably close they were. "Hey, Javi?" It's the most sincere he's sounded in a long time. "Yeah?" They make it up the stairs, and turn the corridor to David's room. "Y— think I'm.. a waste of.. space?" He presses his mouth against his ear, and Javier swallowed heavily. He wants to reassure his brother, but he's starting to realize how feverish he was starting to feel and how hot his older sibling's mouth was. "No. Why would you say that? I love you. You're my brother." David is silent, if only for a moment, before he spoke again. "I signed up for the army today."    ***** II. Mars ***** This feeling wasn't foreign; not for David, at least. He loved his brother, but maybe too much. The first real stab to his chest was when they were younger. Much, much younger— David had been fifteen. Javi was ten, almost eleven, and god did he still act like a little shit, even back then. He always had this toothy little grin, the kind that charmed every other fifth grade girl in his class. Javi had always been the favorite. Pa dotted on him and their Mama defended him to every extent. He wasn't a bad kid, he just.. David was jealous. That jealousy flustered into resentment, and he's treated Javier like shit since. He knew that, Javi knew that, the whole damn world knew it but Javi took the fucking shtick and held it like a good boy because dad told him to.  Maybe David just wanted to be told no; maybe he wanted to be put into place, but his little brother wouldn't do that to him and they both know it. And maybe, he wasn't just hateful because their parents appreciated their youngest more often. There was another reason and it made him sick to his stomach, because it's perverted and filthy and wrong. David wasn't completely psychotic, though, right? He didn't try to act on the feelings welling in his chest, not initially; he wanted his little brother, well fucked beneath him and pressing kisses against his neck while trying to regain his composure during post-orgasm. Javi was good, a light in his life; but David wants to hurt him, so he'll leave and not get closer. Then again, he doesn't, and he just wants to kiss that stupid fucking smile on his lips.  It's two nights before he's going to be deployed. Four months after he told his little brother, three after he told their parents. They're sitting together, him and Javi on the porch like they always did. David just wanted this to be over, to leave and feel like he meant something; being here, looking his little brother in the face and knowing what he wanted from him, he had to get out. "Why?" Javier asked, over the sound of a quiet bustle of midnight traffic. There's dogs in the distance, howling to the sound of an ambulance horn. David was too sober for this. "It seemed like the best option at the time, I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders, and Javi snapped his gaze on him. "You do know, David, and you need to tell me why. Mom is heartbroken. We need you," Javier was cut off, when his brother scowled. "I'm clearly not fucking useful for any of you, Javi. I can be someone good out there. I don't belong here." The teen bristled at the remark, and he looked pissed as soon as the words came out of David's mouth. "Why would you think that? I need you, you're—" The oldest brother grabbed the collar of his shirt, jerked him closer, and Javi's eyes are blown wide when rough lips meet his own. His eyes slide shut when David's tongue skims the roof of his mouth. His fingers comb back his older brother's hair, and David almost keensfrom the affection. A noise sounds from the back of his throat, guttural and almost a purr; Javi ran his fingers through his hair again, settled his palm on the back of his neck. They're both fucking confused, because Javi isn't trying to shove him off and David is a pliant mess, trying to get impossibly close when he leans forward, his hand running over his knee and up his thigh— Javi had to stop him, nudging softly and they're both breathing hard. David looked like he always did; hurt, doe-eyed, and needy. "I wish we weren't." His older brother whispered brokenly, and Javi can't help but run his hand from the back of his neck to his cheek, brushing the pad of his thumb against the flesh below his eye.  No words were needed between them, because they both knew what was running through each other's mind. This is wrong. Why didn't I stop? ***** III. Apollo ***** Javi didn't know where he began and where he ended. His fingers were numb and his mouth was dry; he sipped on his coffee, sitting there in silence. Tick, tick, tick.He swallowed the lump in his throat and pinched the bridge of his nose. It's lonely here, he knew that much; of course he was happy that Pa and Mama helped him move in. The apartment is small, empty. Somehow that thought that he's finally out of school, starting out as a rookie ball player, and with his own private space— it felt so.. surreal. He doesn't know how David felt the first time, or if he felt anything at all when he was deployed. Javi had been the first in his family to genuinely move away; at least for now.  His brother's been gone for a couple months now. Mama still looked at Javi the same and it made him sick to his stomach; she doesn't know what her boys had done behind her back, under her roof, in her home. Given, it was just a kiss,but not the 'friendly' kind you gave your sibling. It was hot, bruising, and Javi still thought about it six months after it's said and done. He hasn't talked to David since then, and he felt pretty fucking bad for it. But what could he say, over the phone? The older Garcia was halfway across the world, and they don't know when he's coming back— if he was. Though, being a soldier suited David. He'd make it through. Javi had to believe that, or else he knew Mama would die of a broken heart and Pa would be alone. He wondered faintly, when David started.. this. If he's always been like that, if it just came up on a spur of the moment. Javi, sure as hell, doesn't know what the fuck he's doing or why he got hot over his big brother. That's sick enough as it is; so why isn't he repulsed by it? He knows the answer, but he's terrified to admit it. This has been going through his head all this time— it's making him question if he's just being delusional. Javi's been with a few guys in his life— that's a normal thing most young people do. But his brother? That doesn't happen to normal people. But.. maybe they aren't normal to begin with. Far from it. It's another two weeks until he gets a call. It's unknown, he answers, and the voice on the other end made his stomach twist pleasantly. "You miss me yet, or are you still ignoring me?" He snorts in response, and he can't contain the smile widening on his face. "I'm a busy, up and coming star— I have a schedule to keep up with." Javi watched the clock. Tick, tick, tick. It's cold in the apartment, but right now, it felt like home. "No time for your big brother?"He can hear that underlying sadness; he doesn't know how to take Javi's humor. He never has; he drops the expression, eyes adjusting up to the ceiling. "Hey, no. You know that's not what I mean. I just.." It's not the same as it used to be; their relationship had changed, whether they wanted it to or not. It's uncharted territory, and he's afraid to overstep his boundaries.  "I know, Javi. I get it. It's okay if you're— if you're disgusted or repulsed, or.. Because I get it. I wasn't thinking right, I—" The older man was a pain in the ass, but Javi's always been weak to him, to his pretty brown eyes and his useless intimidation tactics. "I love you, dumb ass. It's.. Yeah, it's fucking weird, but I didn't stop you, okay? I wanted it, too." David is silent, but Javi can tell he's trying not to lose his composure. "I miss you." The man responded meekly, and Javi could feel his heart ache in his chest. ***** IV. Vulcan ***** He pressed a hard kiss into the crook of his neck, and David melts; it's exhilarating, because Javier was starting to realize how ordinary this was starting to feel. His thighs were on either side of his brother's hips, and David's thumbs rubbed into his hipbones. His teeth brush against the older man's jaw, and he can hear that noise of restraint— god, he loved it; David's embarrassed, he can tell that much, and he can feel his breath quicken when the man beneath him bucked up. Javi instantaneously grinned and his brother punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Stop looking at me like that." He hissed, and the younger man took it upon himself to loosely card his fingers through David’s hair. "I can't help it." His laughter bubbled past his lips, and when David has that pitiful little look in his eyes, he grabbed his chin and gave him a peck. "Come on, don't be like that." Javier kissed him again, nipping at his bottom lip, and David grunted against his mouth. "Fucker." The older muttered, and when Javi grabs a fistful of curls, his fingers are bruising on Javier's waist. He pushed him down over his clothed erection. Javi's still got that smug grin, and David can feel his ears getting hot from exertion. He missed him— that fucking smart ass; it made it worse, knowing that Javi lived two hours from home and now David saw him less and less as the days went by. Then there's the impending thought that Javi, being a twenty year old Casanova, would go off and start flings without his knowledge. They don't talk about what they do together, and no one else knows; it's their business, but David gets antsy when Javi got especially close to other people he didn't know— David already knows Javi wasn't getting marriedanytime soon,not with how he fleeting he was in relationships.  His little brother was his, and his alone.  Javi swallowed unevenly, eyes half lidded when he can feel the throbbing need directly against his backside. He gyrated his hips against the force, his grin dropping some when he made eye contact with his brother. David parts his lips, like he wanted to say something. Javi ran his open palm down his brother's stomach, pads of his fingers inching around his naval, and he leaned down to kiss his earlobe. Fingers travel down his abdomen, and Javier nipped at his jaw. He pushed past the waistband of his sweatpants, cups him in his hand, and— David flips them over, pushed Javi into the mattress and pinned his wrists.  The younger of the two raised an eyebrow, but he spread his legs, a displaced smile on his lips. "What're you going to do, soldier?" David's spread his legs further and took him into a rushed kiss, his tongue running against his teeth and his thumb gliding down his chest and brushing a nipple. ”Got a few ideas."  ***** V. Neptune ***** Javi sat on the balcony in a lawn chair, shirt clinging to his frame and cold sweats down his back. His lips touch the end of a cigarette, and he breathed in the smell like it's air all on it's own. He wished, in some fucking form of decency, that he could stop this. David had a pretty girl waiting for him back home, and here he was, an hour away, fucking his little brother and being given such a treatment in return. Maybe it's for the best David was quick to fall asleep; he was a helluva night owl, but when he closed his eyes, he was out. Javi supposed this would be the only time to be able tohear himself think; with David, it was all or nothing. He'd get hurt if someone were to side against him at the briefest of choices, and Javi had to tread lightly. He felt like this person now, himself, it wasn't.. it wasn't him. Javi wasn't old, but he was starting to feel like it, no matter how young he may be. It felt like days grew short so much easier, and he was losing time. Or it's the fact that David had proposed to his little girlfriend, and Mama accidentally spilled it two days ago. His brother hadn't said a fucking word about it, and that's what made him sick to his stomach.  The man's throat felt dry, smoke pooling from his mouth as he exhaled. He didn't even know what this girl looked like, but he did remember her name; Esmerlda, a pretty one. Javi isn't pissed at her, no. He's disappointed that David had been so secretive; he interfered with Javi's private life every time he came to town to stay a few nights, but couldn't be bothered to mention that he was getting married. He closed his eyes and flicked ash from the cigarette. Opening them again, he glanced up to the dim lighting of the stars, the moon, and the sky. Soft feet pad behind him, and if Javi hadn't been quiet, he wouldn't have noticed. Calloused fingers tangle in his hair and crane his neck back softly; David looks tired, dark rings under his eyes and something uneasy settled on his expression. The kiss is mean, then. There's no tenderness to it and done almost like it was meant to be a statement rather than optional. David's other hand ran under his chin and Javi doesn't try and push him off. He's learned David's body language by now; this isn't something lax. It's desperate.  "What's that for?" The younger man asked, though it's careful as he looked up at his brother. David seemed unable to respond for some time, until he shrugged and let him go. David sat in the other lawn chair, some inches apart from him. Javi swallowed the sharp taste of alcohol left on his tongue, and he knows what David's been doing since he left the room to smoke. He decides not to bring it up, because he knew how his older brother would respond to it. David sat there, eyes on the ground below, through the cracks of the railway. Javi reached and settled his hand over David's knee. "This wasn't going to last. You know that, don't you?" David finally said, and Javi doesn't know how ten words could crush his whole fucking existence.  He doesn't know how to answer, his fingers flinch and he wants to retract from him, but David has his hand around his wrist before he even had the chance. "I know." Javier responded, and he's shocked at how calm his own voice sounded in that moment; he felt like throwing up and letting himself break down. "It never would, Javi. It can't." David doesn't let up, like he's pleading, and finally, Javier can feel the repulsion as he ripped his arm away from David with a jerk. "I already fucking know, okay?" For the first time, he wanted to knock David on his ass; he's always felt like a piece of shit, but it feels so much worse. "It isn't like that, shit—.. It isn't like that." David repeats himself, and Javi could feel the grit in his teeth. "I'm temporary. I know that, you asshole— I know. Fuck you, David." The other man finally glowered at him. Javi felt too confident to back down. "I never for a goddamn second thought you were temporary— Have I not made it clear enough?!" He raised his voice, and Javi burns the cigarette out on the concrete. "No, no, you made it pretty clear. I know about the engagement, David. Stop lying to my fucking face."  The tension that builds is so sharp, jagged and miserable— David doesn't even look remorseful, just.. like he was caught in the headlights. "I had to, I.. Little brother—" Javi stood up with one swift motion, and when David tries to get up after him, he shoved him back— but with no avail, as David tightens his hands on his shoulders, and then pulls him against his chest. Javi couldn't contain the restrained noise that left him, and he can feel David shaking. He doesn't want to hear anymore, but David's crying now and he can't leave him alone. "Fuck, she's pregnant, Javi.."  And then they're here again. Javi consoling David, holding him; Javi, taking care of a brother that's already fucked him up enough as it was. He felt betrayed, hurt, and brokenhearted; now he knows what David does behind his back, and what he won't let Javi do. The younger man didn't say a word, not a fucking peep. He just sat there and held him. The cycle repeated that night, and then they slept together. Javi felt sick, disgusting in his own skin.  When David goes home a few days afterwords, Javi doesn't pick up calls from his parents or his brother. Instead, he plays ball.  ***** VI. Pluto ***** Chapter Summary T/W: Mild domestic abuse. Please be advised! [OCTOBER 12, 8:24 AM; MESSAGE FROM: BIG BRO DAVID-O] It's been three weeks, asshole. Mom's worried, I'm worried. Text me, call me, for fuck's sake. [FIVE MISSED CALLS, OCT 12] [OCTOBER 12, 10:12 AM; MESSAGE FROM: BIG BRO DAVID-O] Answer the goddamn phone before I drive up there.  [OCTOBER 16, 2:46 PM; MESSAGE FROM: BIG BRO DAVID-O] You can't shut me out. I still need you. I'm always going to need you.  [THREE MISSED CALLS, OCTOBER 16] [OCTOBER 24, 9:14 AM; MESSAGE FROM: BIG BRO DAVID-O] I love you, little brother. ===============================================================================   Javi swallowed another mouthful of whiskey, his throat burning, his fingers numb as he laid there in the bed, another warm body next to him. He exhaled softy. He can't remember the last time he's been exceptionally conscious in the past few weeks. He hasn't blacked out yet, so he's chalked it up as a tolerance of ingesting liquid poison. The phone is left relatively untouched, but sometimes he catches the voice mails, the texts. I love you. I miss you.It's all bullshit, but the way David said it sounded like he meant it. Javi knew his brother well enough to know he's happier with his fiancée, and their unborn kid. He'll be a part of his niece or nephew's life, but.. David is nothing to him. He won't accept an 'I love you' as an apology, or excuse upon excuse upon fucking excuse. It's all David seemed to say, anymore. Lies and falsified apologies.  The stranger beside him, he's— he's a pale twenty-something, probably someone Javi picked up while he was shit faced and looking for more booze. He doesn't even remember what happened, or how he ended up this way; but he's not going to put the effort in to change it. Javi doesn't even remember his name, but he's got pretty green eyes and broad shoulders. The ball player swallowed when his partner turned over, eyes sliding open and grinning some. "Drinking this early?" He asked, voice gruff from sleep, the kind of tone that made Javier breathless and yearning. "Morning buzz is the only reason I don't lose my fucking mind." An unintentional smile pressed on Javi's lips, and the man chuckled some.  The auburn haired stranger reached out, wrapped fingers around his wrist, and Javi raised an eyebrow some in soft humor. He doesn't even have time to think, until he dropped the empty cup on the carpet and he's pinned down into the mattress. "I think I might know a better way." He hummed, almost a growl when he pushed his mouth onto Javi's neck. "Fuck," He grunted, the bites steadily rougher and suckling less frequent. He could feel his cock hardening, and with their bodies flush together, he snuck his way down the man's chest, fingers sliding below his naval and past the waistband of his boxers. "Shit, yes.." His breath hit Javi's neck pleasantly, and he couldn't help but squeeze the organ in his palm, precum seeping over his knuckles. The green-eyed stranger licked the flat of his tongue on the crook of his collarbone, teeth grazing against unmarred flesh as he panted on wet skin.  "What the fuck, Javi?" He snapped his arm back, and the other man whipped his head around. Javier knew who it was, almost as soon as he heard the voice— David stood in the doorway, his fists curled and his jaw tight. "O-o-oh, shit. Time to go." The man whispered, and Javi almost wished he'd keep going as he sat up, the anger boiling over. David pushed the man out of the bedroom with his clothes still in hand, and seconds later the front door slams shut. Javi sat back, scowl plastered on his face. "Are you fucking serious right now? We've been calling your dumb ass for weeks.Mama wanted to call the goddamn police. And here I thought you were grieving—"  David was cut off, almost the moment he was going to start on what he'd just seen. "Shut the fuck up! I'm sick of listening to you. You think that just because you up and got a girl pregnant, you think it's okay to keep me on the side? Well, fuck that, and fuck you." David's face is unreadable, until he grits his teeth. "You're going to be real goddamn sick of me in a second." He doesn't even have time to process it— David launched at him, grabbed his ankle, his fist raised and then he gets Javi right in the eye— the younger was stunned, his expression changing drastically and David's, god, he looked mortified— He dropped his grip on his brother, and Javi jolted across the bed from him to stand up. He and David have always had their meltdowns with each other, but David's never hit him... he's never hit him before. "I'm so sorry, fuck, Javi—" He took one step around the bed frame, and Javi grabbed the nearest thing in his perimeter; his baseball bat. "You come any closer, I'll fucking knock your teeth in, David."       This was the first time. Javi learned, years from now, it was not the last.  ***** VII. Dionysus ***** "What do you think you'll name him?" Javi asked, and the young woman beside him grinned. She's beautiful; big brown eyes, tan skin and long, curly hair. "David is terrible at picking baby names. But.. I think I'm going with Gabriel. Gabe for short." Javi already loved her, felt like he's known her his whole life. He's never been spiteful, and he's glad for that; Esme was one of the brightest people he's met in his life. Or at least, second to his mother. The man smirked easily, soft laughter bubbling through his chest. "He never has been. Good thing you're here, or he'd forget how to breath." Esmerelda was something different. The only way Javier could describe her smile was that it was like... sunshine.He doesn't understand it, not yet, but he could see that doubt in her eyes. Like maybe, David was more kept with survival than them all. That wasn't far from the truth. He's got a black eye, and it makes him uncomfortable with how hard she's looking at him now.  He stopped, abrupt when his mother comes back into the living room with a plate of empanada. "Thank you, mama." He said, soft, and she smiled widely as she sat down on the recliner. "I'm happy you're both getting on well. Esme's wanted to meet you for months, miho." The quiet conversation between them is over. Esmerelda smiled dully, like she's come to an understanding, and they talk about his career and everything up and coming for the rest of the afternoon. Javier doesn't stick around for when David gets off work. Javi drove the hour home and doesn't see him for another three months. ***** VIII. Mercury ***** The wedding is cozy in the backyard, an arch with beautiful vines twining around it and an orchard to accompany it. They're surrounded by family members and the man that weds them was a minister their father knew for some twenty odd years. Javi drinks, for the most part. He sat alone at the reception— he's told it's inconsiderate to call it a night at his older brother's wedding. Esme was dancing with her father, the evening air leaving him chilled in his tux as the hanging lights cascaded down from the canopy. She's got a bit of a baby bump already, and Javi feels warmer knowing he'll get to meet someone new, someone like her. Pa would be pissed at him if he knew he'd cut himself off from David for this long. Fortunately, he doesn't— they act civil when they're around their parents. But the tension looms; Javier doesn't trust him. Not with Esme, and not with the kid.  "I didn't think you'd come." The voice was familiar. Javi sunk further into his seat, eyes adjusting to the dim light as he swallowed another mouthful of bourbon. His gaze flickered to the voice, and David sat across from him, eyes on his wife and her father. "Almost didn't." He responded numbly, stomach knotting when he realized his cup was empty. "I know it's been rough for us, brother. But I.. I'm trying to get my life back on track." Javier felt more threatened by the fact that David's best man was an old colleague from the military; that he didn't think they were close anymore, no matter how far in distance. "Well," Javi started, neck craning up as let the back of his head settle on the brace of his chair. There are so many people here— people he doesn't know. "You did it. Congrats on not fucking it all up, David."  "But I did, with you." His older brother responded, and Javi scoffed in false amusement. He's drunk as hell. "Fucked my face up, maybe. But not me.. Can't get rid of me." He muttered offhandedly and David exhaled in soft grief. "I don't want you to disappear again. Please, Javi." He squeezed his eyes shut and contemplated the words. He wasn't worth it. Javi was a screw up, and he should have just.. disappeared, a long time ago. The truth is that David talks down on him with other people when he's pissed— Esmerleda wasn't a liar. He talked to her so often now, on the phone during the afternoons about anything and everything. He knew her and he knew David. Everything his older brother built up, it's to isolate him from other people and different environments. He wanted Javi to be at his heel, like a dog. The younger wasn't going to be his bitch.  He swallowed the seething anger, and forced a lazy smile on his face. "Haven't gone anywhere, have I?" - Javier pushed him into the concrete wall, and pressed hard kissed onto the taller man's neck. David gripped at his hips, pulled him closer, groped his ass— Javi forced down the sickness in his chest, and dropped to his knees. He can't remember how they got here, but he could still hear the party music and the excited chattering. Any moment, someone could round the corner and catch Javi sucking his brother's dick. But he's too drunk to care, and with David gripping one hand tight into his hair, it’s lessened his fear. "I still love you." His older brother breathed the words like a mantra, and Javier unbuckled his belt. Maybe this is all he's good for. He unzipped his fly, pulled him from his briefs, and swallowed down on him within that span of time. David spilled down his throat five minutes after he'd choked him down and stroked what he couldn't fit. He tucked himself back into his slacks, and Javi hated himself because he doesn't know how to stay away. David helped him up, and kissed him. Javi closed his eyes, and doesn't want to open them ever again.  ***** IX. Cupid ***** "Javi," It's a plea of desperation, if anything else. He didn't want to hear it, but the way it sounded when his brother said his name.. "I need you." Javier was a good brother. He would be there as much as he could be. The expansions of time when David wanted him, they grew more erratic and short. The thought that as soon as his brother got off, he'd leave— it terrified him. David told him it was because— I don't know how to look her in the eyes when we have sex. Javi wondered when his life sunk this low; how did he become the motivation for his older brother to please his wife? Why did he keep letting it happen? Good brother. It's the only thing he knew. It was all he could be, for the person he loved. David's sleeping beside him, shoulders broad, skin tan and marred with scars from battle. Maybe he just thought about it too often. Maybe if he closed his eyes, he'd stop breathing and it would be over.  The moonlight ran down David's body. He's sleeping, sound and faced away. Javier wanted to look at him.  He closed the distance, slinging his arm over David's side and forcing him flush against his chest. Javi ran his palm down his abdomen, and David's eyes jerked open. It happened, sometimes, that initial panic of being touched. His older brother's mental health was shit, not that he's doing too great himself. He's tense, until Javier kissed the crook of his neck and mumbled against his skin. "It's me." He bit the flesh there. Contrary to most of the older Garcia's opinionated attitude, David was a prude who wouldn't admit what turned him on. Javi knew, though. He bit at him again, and sucked a mark into the flesh. "Stop.. No marks." The man grunted, attempting to nudge at his rib cage. The younger tightened the arm he had over David, and nipped again. "Oops. My mouth slipped." David smacked his lips in tired frustration. Javier laughed some, guttural and low in his chest. "Why can't I?" It's teasing, and the man's voice dropped an octave. He ran his fingernails down his stomach and brushed his thumb over his naval. "You know why." David paused, inhaling sharply when Javi cupped him through the fabric of his briefs. "Maybe? I can't seem to remember. Darn." He squeezed, and David bit down a groan. Javier pushed his crotch against David's backside, and by the time he ground against him, the cock within his palm stiffened. David's chest was quick, and Javi could tell he was torn between pushing forward into his hand or rutting back against his dick. Javier laughed, and David jabbed at him with his elbow once more. "I'm sorry, big brother. You're just cute." "Stop talking." David growled, and Javi pushed his hand down the waistband of his underwear. He returned to his neck, suckling, and the older man swallowed audibly. Javi knew how weak he got when he sucked on the spot below his jaw— or took a fistful of his hair. David wanted to be rough when they had sex; at least, anymore. He supposed it was just because Esme wasn't like Javi. She was petite. She was pregnant. Javier was.. a man. A brother. His brother. He didn't have to be overly cautious. Javi didn't know if David even loved him. He said it rarely. Then again, the ball player had to understand. He had a wife who could give birth any day now. Javi was just being selfish— 'just for now' is all he can hope to tell himself. Stroking his already leaking cock, he nuzzled against his brother's neck. He wanted to say those three little words. I love you. I missed you. I need you. He bit his tongue. "Don't look like that, dulce corazón." David whispered. For a moment, Javier wanted to spoil the mood.  "Don't tell me what to do." His tone was falsified humor. His voice cracked, he swallowed, and David twisted his head. Javi didn't even think to stop. He tugged once, out of rhythm, and beads of precum smeared over his knuckles. David pressed his lips against his ear, and Javi dared not angle his head to look at him. Instead, he bit down on his brother's skin. The older man jerked some, a grunt leaving him and softer noises easing from his chest. Javier could feel his pulse right there, so distant and yet, still comforting. He wished it would stay this way. "Javi," That same tone. "I'm sorry." David kissed his earlobe, his temple, his hair— "You have nothing to be sorry for." Javi forcibly pulled himself upright, pushing his older brother's back to the mattress. David's eyes are blown, dilated. Javi ran his palm over his shoulder. "I've tried to put our lives back to the way they should be.. I made you this way. I did this." The older muttered, and Javi felt the knot in his stomach tighten. "No, you didn't. I'm this way because of me." There's bile on his tongue. David looked broken. Needy, shattered, desperate.  "Look at me, right here. Don't think. No more talking. Eyes up here, brother."  Javi ran blunt nails down his abdomen, sitting up on his knees and quirking a softer upturn of his lips. The older man reached for his hips, thumbs bruising the flesh there. He reached over him to pull at the drawer from the nightstand. David set his tongue on the front of his throat, and Javier hummed. "Got a little— hey, let me just," He rummaged some through the drawer, shifting some to pull out the small tube of lube and a packaged condom. David pulled at his underwear, grunting when the younger moved away and he breathed on his ear. "What?" David mumbled, his tongue flicking at his lobe.  Javi was tempted to just let him keep going— god. His underwear got caught at the back of his knees, and David reached impatiently for the little tube. "Uh uh, bud." The younger hindered, and David smacked his lips again. "You woke me up, you dick." Javi outright ignored the comment, and David writhed uncomfortably. "Which is why I'll do the work." Javi grinned, when his older brother twisted his head some at the remark. "You didn't.." Javi pressed his lips hard over David's mouth, and he whined. "Aw, you embarrassed? Cute." Javier moved, settling between his legs. "Shut the hell up." David grumbled, and his toes curled anxiously when Javi shimmied the rest of the way out of his underwear. "It'll be okay, babe. This isn't the first time I’ve fucked you." The lewdness of Javier's words add to the flush in his older brother's face. "Why do you have to say it like that? Jesus." Javi pursed his lips some at the response. "How do you want me to say it?" His expression went slack, the deviance gone. "I don't.. know." Javier could see how hard he was trying, wondering just how to label it. If he could really go through with his younger brother topping him, every single time it happened. Javi was pretty sure it was David's own way of trying to validate that he wasn't gay or some shit. He wanted to suppress it. He also knew that David begged for any kind of attention from Javier, craved it.  "What did I tell you?" Javi muttered, brushing his thumb over his brother's jaw. They both know why David was afraid; he didn't want to be vulnerable. He only waited for David to nod, and then he discarded of his brother's underwear soon after. He uncapped the bottle, squeezing a fair amount into his palm and slicking his fingers up. The older man watched him, a hand sifting over the comforter and swallowing audibly. Javi bent, running his tongue just below his belly and pushing his thighs further apart. David's chest rose faster when his index finger brushed at his hole. "Relax, baby." Javi mouthed at his naval, and circled his finger around his entrance. He used his other hand to run his palm up his cock. He's still blistering red, leaking, and Javi felt his interest pique. He pressed a finger in, the slick enough to run past one ring of muscles, and then on. The younger man wrapped his lips around the head of his prick, swirling his tongue and swallowing the bitter fluid. "Fuck." David's thighs stretched further apart, and Javi took him in another inch while he curled his finger.  "Please, fuck." The soldier instinctively bucked, but Javi pushed his palm down on his hip and swallowed his cock. David was a serious prude— he wasn't even sure the older man had ever given him a blowjob, either, but.. Javi enjoyed this. Giving him this feeling not many people could, watching that crease in his expression and the glazed lust. It got him off, if he was being honest. There's a few minute interval, when he added another finger and then a third. His brother shifted again, almost trying to fuck himself onto his fingers. Javi chuckled some around his cock. David groaned weakly, frustration easy when Javi kept his forearm on his hip and returned to stroking as he pulled off with a soft pop. There's spittle running down his lips, and he starts stimulating his balls— that's when David keened. His fingers brushed against his prostate and the older man cursed under his breath. His back arched, panting when Javi sucked on one and then the other, slurping sounds making his face heat up and his legs involuntarily quake. The younger brother squeezed his cock, finally running the flat of his tongue from the base, the head, and then swallowing again. He curled his fingers, and when David growled desperately, he retracted from the bundle of nerves. The soldier frowned, and Javier crawled over him to press a kiss against his mouth and his tongue slipped past his lips. He reached for the condom discarded on the sheets. David muttered incoherently, wrapping an arm over his neck and trying to stop him. "Don't need it. C'mon, c'mon.." He raked his nails down Javier's back, and the younger wanted nothing more. "David, hey, wait," The younger responded against his lips, and his older sibling hooked a leg around his waist to get him closer. "Please. I need you, please, please—" The soldier outright whimpered with happiness, when Javi pushed his cock between spread cheeks. The head caught at his hole, but Javi didn't think he was ready— his dick was still relatively dry, and it would probably sting more.. but David won't let go of him, and that hushed pleading was enough for him to sink into the hest. He breathed shakily, and David wriggled down onto him. "Fuck, come on." His finger nails clawed his back raw, and Javi grunted when he snapped his hips forward. "Am I the only one?" He whispered, and David's groaning when he retracts and then thrust again. "Yeah— yes, yes, please.."  Liar. He thought, and started for a rhythmic pace. David babbled in his ear, halfhearted gestures and begging beyond. Javi bit hard into his shoulder, the bed creaking often enough that the frame would hit the wall. "Te amo, Javiér."Pretty lies, half assed promises. He's learned by now; David is a liar. He always will be. He grit his teeth, pumping the other's cock and picking up the pace— David stilled, groaning against his ear, and his hand was coated in cum. He almost didn't think he could finish, the thought progression spoiling his arousal. But he does. Javi choked on a moan, and the warmth around him tightened until his body convulsed and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He couldn't breathe, panting quietly in unison to his older brother. The man ran his palms down his sides and Javi slipped out with hesitation. He couldn't find the energy to do anything but hold himself up with one arm while the other wiped the body fluid coated over his knuckles onto the sheet. David tried to pull him closer, and the younger nudged some, eyebrows furrowed until David ran his fingers through the younger's hair. "Stop doing that." He whispered, and Javi let his forehead drop on David's chest. "Doing what?" He asked, unintentionally sharp until David tilted his head up. "That fucking face, Javi." The older man responded roughly, and Javi rolled over. David caught him around the waist and pulled his back against his chest. He pressed his lips against his neck, like Javi had done not long ago. "Baby brother." Javi wondered how long it would be like this, how long it was going to last. He clasped his hand over David's, settled on his hip. He squeezed. "I love you. You know that, don't you?" The soldier whispered, and Javi laughed dully. "Is this where I should say it back?" David grit his teeth, reaching to grab the other's chin and jerking his head in his direction. "Stop trying to shut me out, fuck. We were doing fine a few minutes ago. What happened?" The grip David had on his jaw stung, so Javier jerked away. "You should go home." Javi muttered, and David scowled as he shot up to leer over him and catch his little brother's expression. "Don't do this right now, god, fuck. Javi. Look at me." The younger could tell he was getting pissed. The ball player welcomed him to try something; he wasn't going to get hit again without punching David right back. Esme didn't deserve him, and he was doing this as an accomplice. She didn't deserve to be cheated on, or stood up. She didn't deserve to sleep alone. "What?" Javier hissed while turning his head again, and David glared. "If I leave, what're you going to do?" The temptation is tense. Javi's nostrils flared, and he sat up while David leered. "I'm going to get drunk and go fuck someone that isn't you—"  He regretted it immediately. David's grasp was hard on the side of his neck, and they locked eye contact. "You ever let someone take my place, I'll make sure no one else can fucking get close to you ever again." Javier felt the terrified knot in his stomach, but his face hardened and he glared right back. "You gonna hit me, tough guy?" He glowered, and David's grip was sharp. It was painful, but his pride refused the urge to wince in that moment.  His brother looked shocked for a moment, and his grip goes slack. "I was replaced a long time ago, David." His voice softened in response, and the older brushed his finger over his temple. David frowned. "I love you." The older said, and Javier wrapped his fingers around his brother's wrist. "No, you don't."  "I could never stop loving you, Javi." He felt his eyes water, and David wrapped his arm around him. Javier squeezed him closer.   He blinked, and tears fell from his eyes.  ***** X. Janus ***** Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes "God, he looks so much like you." Javi snorted, the bubbling baby in his arms attempting to drool all over his chest. The man cradled his nephew in his arms, the infant cooing helplessly as Esme brushed a brown tuft of hair from his forehead. "He has his daddy's temper, though. Don't you, Gabe?" The room smelled like chemicals; Javier's never liked hospitals. His phobia lay within the multiple times he'd break something while playing during recess in grade school or climbing trees with his brother. Gabriel blubbered, his body so small and his eyes barely open. This may be the first time he's ever seen a newborn upclose, let alone hold one in his arms. If he was being honest— he was fucking terrified. Javier couldn't think about that, though, only staring down at his nephew and wondering how someone so good could come to be. A little one so pure, whole-hearted and naive. The man outstretched his index finger. Gabriel’s eyes brighten, and he wrapped his chubby hand around his uncle’s finger. Javier grinned, and Esme’s smile faltered. “We haven’t seen you in— forever. I haven’t. I know you’re busy..” His sister-in-law feigned strength, but he knew how distraught she was; how tired. “I’m sorry, I know. Things just got complicated, for a while.” Esmerelda pursed her lips, gnawing on the inside of her cheek. “David told me you two aren’t getting along well.” Javier nodded once, feeling the dread build in his stomach. If only she knew— Esme didn’t deserve this, not these lies. Not the depravity the brother were hiding from her and the rest of their family.  "We haven't gotten along for the past two decades. Not much of a change." He strained on a grin, and Esmerelda sighed. His attempts were feeble; she knew him, read him like a book. Esme was his only sister, after all. Blood didn't mean a thing when the bond he felt for her was so much thicker. Javier could feel that tugging in his rib cage. He realized that his parents and his brother were just outside that door. He shouldn't stay long, either. He was sure her own parents would be arriving soon and there would be an ugly discourse between Esmerelda's mother and the nurse, knowing there was a limit on how many people were allowed back at a time.  "Well, hey." The petite woman reached out, dark hair pooling on one shoulder and strands of her stuck to her damp forehead. She leaned over, pressing her palm against his cheek lovingly for a few moments. "No tiene que ser así para siempre, Javi."  He's fixated, eyes downcast and finding the gaze of the baby.His nephew. "Yeah. Yeah, I know." Javier wanted to be a part of this kid's life— he wanted to be a good uncle. He wanted to be the one he could come to when he felt he could tell no one else. He wanted to be the one that listened. But he couldn't. Not like this, or.. they could never go back to the way things were. David and Javi couldn't be 'just brothers'. Too much history.  Too much. Chapter End Notes pretty short this time around, guys! I'm so sorry I've left this fic for the past few months-- I didn't have a lot of inspiration for these two in quite a while, but I'm going to try to crank out some short drabbles to keep this thing going, haha. thanks for reading and please have a pretty great day!! ***** XI. Saturn ***** "Gabe's got one hell of a smart mouth." David remarked, glancing at his younger brother, and for a moment, Javi flushed from the grin that stretched on his face. "Are you insinuating that I, Javier García, renowned baseball player and exceptionally good cook, have a smart mouth?" It would feel normal, on days like this.  A lakeside cookout for Gabriel's first birthday. Family members joined at the hands and talking with slurs over cheap beer; dogs stealing burgers from unsuspecting kids. Javier felt.. alive, here. Nothing could touch him. They'd be alright, in some fucked up tragedy-turned-feel-good way. "See— can you hear it? Listen, listen." David shushed him, and for another split second, they're quiet. Then David, god rest Javier's libido, smirked. David whispers, when they're both insanely quiet, "Javi's a smart ass." The younger brother nearly choked on his beer mid-gulp, and then he shoved his sibling with utmost vengeance. Their legs swing freely from the dock, and David laughs. He laughs, and suddenly, Javi wonders if this was all some sick fucking dream. Like god was telling him to go eat shit, and this was a parting gift. David's stilling, and his expression softened when he looked back at Javier again. "What?" The eldest man lingered, and Javi shook from his fixation. "Nothing." A smile played on the younger man’s lips, and then David smacked his own in disappointment. "Come on, what?" He elbowed Javi, keen on some dismal response that took effort. Javier was buzzed— unwillingly prone to pouring his heart out in the dirt. "You haven’t looked at me like that in a long time.”  David’s face looked warm to the touch, like he was trying to suppress something, his face flushing uncharacteristically. Javier felt the urge, even when their entire family was only a short distance away, to put on a show. It’s been ages since he’s felt this good, especially with David. Something new delved deep in his chest, dare he say rekindled. “You want to go swimming, tonight?” The older man asked casually, the strain in his tone and the glaze in his eyes running straight to Javi’s dick. He was weak for those eyes (hasn’t he realized this already?) and there was little to be done in hopes of fighting off the yearning. Javier quirked an eyebrow, playing coy, and pressed on. “I hadn’t planned on staying in town all night.”  David was unamused, that facade of annoyance sweeping over his expression. His breath was noticeably labored, and god, did Javier want to milk it for all it was worth. “You can stay with us.” The soldier responded, tentative as he ran his thumb over the rim of his beer can. The younger man couldn’t conceal the humored chuckle that left him. David shoved him softly, obviously embarrassed for having to vocalize such an innocent request.   Innocent. He pitied the fool who’d believe that bullshit. “Try as I might,” Javi hummed the remark, and swallowed another mouthful of beer. His tongue skimmed over his teeth.   David's eyes dilated.  Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!