Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/364493.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      Rose_Lalonde/Karkat_Vantas
  Character:
      Rose_Lalonde, Karkat_Vantas
  Additional Tags:
      Femdom, Spoilers, tentabulge
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-03-18 Chapters: 2/2 Words: 4221
****** Be Culturally Sensitive ******
by Geromy_(orphan_account)
Summary
     Dave may not have been interested in that love quadrangle book of
     Karkat's, but Rose sure is. And somehow, she even convinces Karkat to
     read it to her.
     But maybe he read a little too far in.
Notes
     Spoilers up to the 17/03/12 update.
***** Chapter 1 *****
Karkat could only scowl as Dave’s figure disappeared from the appearifier. (You
idiot, from this perspective it’s clearly a disappearifier. Get it right. It’s
not that hard to understand.)
 
            He was huffing and wheezing again, trying to remain calm as his
frustrations started to bubble up in his despicable candy red blood. He had
just told that son of a bitch Strider that he was 0k with him and Terezi
entering the flushed quadrant. And under what grounds? The quadrangular pit of
drama? He wasn’t even sure what he was thinking when he suggested that. A love
quadrangle like that was hard enough for his own head to wrap around, let alone
a human who was already stupid without considering the fact he had no idea how
blackrom worked.
 
            Another loud exhale escaped him as he turned around. Rose was
fingering through the pages of the novel he had brought with him. She snatched
it away so fast he wasn’t sure what had happened at the time. She looked like
she was reading it, but that was impossible. There was no way she was already
that familiar with the alternian alphabet. Not after just a year. Had Kanaya
been teaching her?
 
            Kanaya was still next to the appearifier, ass-flat on the floor
from when Karkat had knocked her over. Oh well, not his fault. She got up in
silence, shooting Karkat a somewhat dirty look as a hand left her side to dust
off her rear end.
 
            “I will be taking my leave now,” she said, in her usual gentle,
heavily-enunciated tone. Although there was a bit more texture backing it up
when she turned to Karkat. “Please refrain from involving yourself in any more
romantic drama Karkat. It is likely not healthy for your well-being or the
situation we are currently involved in.”
 
            “Oh whatever,” Karkat groaned in response, his mouth down turning
into a familiar open mouthed scowl. His eyes avoided her, his mind still
ticking over this entire love quadrangle. What a piece of shit situation he’d
got himself weaseled in. And all for someone as annoying and frustrating as
Terezi. With her stupid childish cane and that shit-eating grin. God, he did
want her in every quadrant. How pathetic.
 
            Kanaya eyed him up and over before stepping back into the
appearifier, finally succeeding in her desired getaway. Karkat stared at the
platform for a moment, considering returning back to his own room. But before
he could open his mouth to say good-bye, Rose had begun speaking.
 
            “It certainly is an interesting cover,” she mused aloud. When
Karkat turned to look at her, the book was closed again, save for where she had
inserted her thumb to mark the page. Karkat could feel himself scowling at her,
too. Why was her skin so soft and pasty. Her eyes were tiny compared to the
faces he had grown up around. Pink lips, pink eyes, it was all so unnatural.
She was gross. Humans were gross.
 
            “Yeah, well, it’s a complicated situation,” he finally responded,
finding himself turning ever so slightly away from the appearifier. One foot
was planted on the floor and with his hands in his pockets, he pivoted to face
her. “The cover barely does it justice.”
 
            “Will you read it to me?”
 
            What? Did he hear that right? He searched her face. It was as stoic
as ever, but she still looked sincere. She honestly wanted to hear that book? A
couple questions floated across his mind, both with the same first word.
 
            “Why the hell do you want to read it? And why the ever loving fuck
should I have to read it to you?” The tone didn’t faze her. She kept waiting
expectantly for an answer. Infuriating. “You’re not involved in the quadrangle,
Lalonde, there’s no need for you to know what goes on in that book. It won’t
benefit anybody and it’ll be a waste of my time and the voice that I need to
keep order in this fucking chaos.”
 
            A bit of a smirk pulled at Rose’s lips. Her gaze moved downwards as
she tipped the book over in her hand, the page she had marked falling open.
“You’re right. It would be much better to read it to Dave. I’m sure he would be
completely open to listening. Maybe if you’re lucky you won’t need to do much
more than tape him to a chair to keep him there.”
 
            OK, where the fuck was she going with this. Karkat’s entire body
moved now, a single eyebrow cocking as his eyes narrowed in her direction.
 
            “Of course, if I were to know the story, I could always tell him
how the quadrangle works in a way he might better understand. I have known him
for years after all. Not to mention that he would be much more likely to listen
to me than he would you.”
 
            Fucking Lalonde. Fucking humans. Fuck their entire race right into
the outer ring and back. Not just fuck humans. HUMAN fuck humans.
 
            “But you’re right. Removing me as the middle man and reading it to
him directly would be much easier towards putting your plans into fruition.”
 
            Oh for fuck’s sakes.
 
            Finally moving from his position Karkat started over, snagging the
book from her hands as fast as she had taken it from him. He flipped backward
from the page she had open, turning his back to her to take a seat at the
table.
 
            “God fucking damnit I hate every last one of you nooklicking
humans. I have a feeling things are just going to spiral even further into the
depths of fucking hell the moment Egbert and Harley show up. We’ll just be
swimming in burning hot bullshit complete with stupid fucking teeth and dog
ears until we’re gouging out our own eyes to escape it. But that wouldn’t even
be enough for you would it? Let’s also listen to Strider’s shitty raps for all
eternity while Harley barks in the background.”
 
            “Where exactly do I come in?” Rose asked, another smirk on her face
as she moved to take a seat beside him at the table.  Karkat shoved her
journals forward, putting his romance novel down and opening it to the first
page. Rose’s elbow rested on the table, dropping her face against her fist. She
eyed him intently and it made him want to vomit as it usually did.
 
            “Strider’s raps will be straight from your shitty wizard fanfiction
he’s told me so much about.”
 
            “It’s not fanfiction you know,” she said, her eyes moving from his
face to the book.
 
            “Don’t care. Do you want to hear this story or not.”
 
            Rose promptly shut her mouth, her eyes scrolling over the words as
Karkat began to read. He wasn’t sure if she was studying the language while he
read it, or if she genuinely could read it herself and was reading along. Of
course that would be what she was doing. She was just making him read it to her
to piss him off. Yes that sounds like straight-up Lalonde playing a one sided
passive aggressive game with him. But what the hell had he ever done to her?
Nothing, that’s what.
 
            He kept reading anyway, if only to satisfy his own interest in the
story. Sure he’d read the book a few times, but it certainly didn’t ever get
worse.  And even if she was waging some sort of war (he just fucking knew it)
she at least was being seemingly respectful. No need to stop reading now.
 
            Lack of attention however brought him straight into the first
raunchy scene of the novel. The words kept coming from his mouth, even if they
weren’t exactly registering in his head.
 
             “The royal violet of the highblood had begun to seep from the tip
of his bulge as it intertwined with the lowblood’s own, the two organs pulling
their bodies closer like magnets. Genetic material dripped downward to their
torsos as their tongues needily danced together in their mouths. With hearts in
their eyes the violetblood began to lay back, his bulge staying glued to its
partner. The smaller male spread his legs with his back to his superior, their
mighty snakes finally unraveling, only to slither down to their partners
awaiting and moist nooks.”
 
            He took a breath to continue, but Rose interrupted him with a
polite and stern clear of her throat. Karkat was about to snap at her rudely
for interrupting, but thankfully for them both, he heard the last sentence he
read. Suddenly, clearing throats seemed like the perfect defense against the
awkward air that had already begun to float up.  He followed in her lead.
 
            “Forgive my curiosity,” she said, having moved away from the table
and placed her hands in her lap. “But was that-- ”
 
            “Yep.” Karkat’s hands moved to his lap, too. His own bulge had
begun stirring from its hiding place at realizing what was going on. It’d be
visible soon if they didn’t find a quick subject change. “That’s your run of
the mill pailing session.” Another clear of the throat seemed appropriate.
 
            “What exactly happens next, if you don’t mind me asking?” Of course
Rose saw this as completely professional. No doubt studying up for her own
troll human sloppy make out with Kanaya. How disgusting. And yet Terezi and
Dave were at the same thing. Fuck it all.
 
            “Wow how old are you 3? Isn’t it fucking obvious?” Of course it
wasn’t, and he knew that. But he wasn’t about to offer her an explanation
without beating her down first. That was never his thing. “The bulges go in the
nooks they do their thing they come out when they’re ready and they fill a
pail. It’s pretty straight forward.”
 
            Please don’t ask for elaboration, please don’t ask for elaboration,
please don’t ask for-
 
            “What do you mean by ‘they do their thing’?”
 
            Fucking humans.
 
            “They do their thing!” he repeated, growing ever more frustrated
both in emotion and body. He could already feel the scrape of denim against the
tip of his own bulge and he knew it was just going to get worse the more he
talked about this. Why didn’t he think about this ahead of time? Why did he
think reading this fucking book was a good idea? He was more moronic than all
the humans put together. He was the biggest fucking chump on this meteor. More-
so than Gamzee and whatever the fuck he was up to while he hid from everyone.
“They stimulate the inside of the nook while the trolls stay stationary and
come out when they’re ready to give the genetic material.”
 
            Goddamn he could not believe he was discussing this. Especially
when his own situation was getting slowly more compromising. He forced his eyes
over to look at her. He could feel that betraying heat in his cheeks almost as
easily as he could see the pink in her- wait what?
 
            She was leaning forward a bit. Her eyes were half-lidded and she
held onto his gaze like a knight and his shield.
 
            “And your ‘bulge’,” she continued, the nail of her pinky finger
starting to slip past her lips and between her teeth. “It’s like what?”
 
            Oh God. Oh God oh God oh God oh God oh man oh God.  Suddenly more
than the tip of his bulge was pressing against denim. He started wringing his
hands in lap, doing his best to position them for maximum coverage without
seeming obvious. What was he even thinking. A flightly broad like Lalonde? No
way. But he wasn’t about to lie and say that low gaze of hers wasn’t alluring.
 
            “It’s a tentacle,” he finally sputtered, tearing his eyes away from
hers finally. What a relief that was. The wheezing threatened again, his
shoulders rising as he started taking deeper-than-usual breaths. There was
really no use even trying to hide how tight his pants had gotten now. It was
already too obvious.
 
            “I see,” she breathed. Goddamn he could even hear the smirk. Why
was she acting this way all of the sudden? Unless that scene he had read was
enough to stimulate her, too. Oh ever loving fuck. A hormonal human teenager to
throw on top of his already compromising position of completely-her-fault
nonsense. Great.
 
            “Karkat,” she continued, an arm resting on the table and slowly
sliding over as she leaned closer to him. “One more question.”
 
            He lifted his gaze back up. And he instantly regretted it. Her lips
had started pursing. They actually looked… Appetizing. Glossy and… Even if they
were pink. “Y-Yeah? What the fuck could that be.”
 
            “Would it be culturally insensitive for me to ask if I could see
yours?”
***** Chapter 2 *****
Oh hell to the fucking no. That is all fucking kinds of culturally
insensitive.  Typical dumbass human thinking something like that could ever be
deemed appropriate. What, was that how they did it on earth? Just walked up and
asked to see every bulge and nook around? That was fucking messed up. And there
was no way he was ever going to…
 
            And yet none of this was coming out of his mouth. It was like his
entire respiratory system had shut down. It took him a minute but he finally
managed to inhale. And what did he do?
 
            He looked over his shoulder to make sure no one else was in the
room.
 
            Of course there wasn’t anyone else in the room. He had watched the
last two inhabitants leave it. He had been present ever since. And that isn’t
even the issue that should be brought up. What should be brought up was the
fact that Karkat was actually considering this. What, had a year with these
fucking humans dented his think pan that much? It would fucking seem so.
 
            “What?” Finally his mouth had found words. “No! I mean- no, you
can’t see my bulge and of course it’s fucking cultural insensitive. Honestly
where were you born, a moo-beast farm? I know you’re human but I always thought
you were the one with the most common sense, Lalonde.”
 
            But she wasn’t listening at all. Or she was, but she certainly
wasn’t obeying. He felt her hand slide down his arm and her fingers gently coil
around his wrist. He stayed silent as he watched his hand be lifted from his
lap.
 
            Rose got up from her seat. Her hands expertly maneuvered around his
wrists, twisting them into a comfortable position for her as she moved them
past his sides and around behind his seat. Protests pushed at his lips, but his
entire mind turned to mush under her touch and her gaze. He had melted into
putty, with her skilled hands kneading him into exactly what she wanted.
 
            Her hands moved away from his arms, but he didn’t move them from
where she had positioned them. They stayed behind the chair as if they were
tied there. Her body loomed over him, the angle of her neck making her eyes
disappear behind her bangs. He felt the slightly moist touch her of her lips on
his jaw, on his neck, on his collar bone. Cold fingers started to press into
the skin under the hem of his shirt.
 
            Even if his body stayed stationary as his species was accustomed,
his mind was running on a million tangents at once. Was this some sort of
concupiscent proposal? And was it red or black? She sure as hell had never
showed any signs of being flushed before now. Was he just practice so she could
make a move on Kanaya later? What did this even mean? This had nothing to do
with romance at all. Trolls don’t just pail with whoever strikes their fancy.
This was wrong. Completely against the fucking rules.
 
            “Just…” Finally he was protesting, though only with words. He kept
still, even as Rose’s hands began to slide along his chest and lift up his
shirt. “What do you think you’re doing? What happened to being culturally
sensitive? We don’t do this in my culture you know. This is human shit.”
 
            “OK,” she responded calmly, not pausing in her actions. She stepped
away from his chair, her hands disappearing under her yellow god tier dress.
Her thumbs hooked under the waist of her leggings, and with a shimmy of her
hips they peeled off her legs, taking her underwear with them. “Then you can be
the one being culturally sensitive to my human customs.”
 
            “Are you out of your mind?” His eyes were glued to where the
leggings came from. He still couldn’t see anything hidden under her dress. But
it didn’t stop him from trying.
 
            “Forgive me, Karkat. I don’t have one of these bulges that you use.
Is it possible for the goal to still be achieved without your- nook was it?-
being stimulated?”
 
            Damnit. She was treating him like a fucking troll biology text
book.
 
            “You’re not seriously thinking about doing this are you?”
 
            “Would you like to take off your pants, or would you like me to do
it for you?”
 
            “Alright it’s official. You’ve kicked over the fucking sanity
bucket. Actually scratch that you’ve kicked it right across the fucking room.
Right through the roof and into fucking paradox space. Forget having any
sensible thoughts Lalonde they’re floating around you like every other
insignificant particle in existence.”
 
            “You talk too much.”
 
            Suddenly she was leaning over him again. Her legs spread ever so
slightly as they moved to either side of the chair. Her lips were once again
against his skin, pressing into his chest as her hands found the button of his
jeans. He felt his back curve to escape her. His head ducked a bit, his teeth
finding his lip to chew on. Her lips and tongue pressed against his skin. As
she opened his jeans his bulge slithered its way from the opening.
 
            Rose stepped back from his seat, watching his member as it moved.
It was definitely nothing like she’d seen before, but was more than accurate to
the description the book gave her. It was as if it had a mind of its own.
Karkat’s face was hidden as his head pressed to his chest tiredly. His eyes
were closed. His breathing was heavy. His blood pusher was working double time.
 
            “Do you have control over it?”
 
            No response.
 
            She moved over him again, finally taking a seat in his lap. Of
course she wasn’t sure what she was really doing there, so she kept up her
previous action of kissing at his neck. She was brave enough to take a couple
bites at it, even suckling slightly. And eventually, her back shot up abruptly.
 
            Karkat had finally given in. His bulge had started towards her,
brushing past her already swollen clit as it searched for her entrance. She was
finally starting to get what she wanted. Half a smirk threatened to tug at her
lip, but the pleasure from that wriggling between her legs made every muscle
feel weak.
 
            She tried to sit forward. She scooted in his lap, biting back a
moan from the grind. Her hips started to rock on top of him, her arm sliding in
behind him and her nails digging into his back. It continued for only a minute
or two before Karkat flung his head up, gritting his teeth. He thrusted his
hips upward, lifting Rose from his lap. She stumbled a bit in surprise, but
quickly realized the advantage of the new position.
 
            She didn’t immediately sit back down, bending her knees enough that
she was hovering over him. He had crawled back into his shell, his head ducked
and hidden. But she could feel it easily. That moist tip of his bulge was
pressing at her entrance. It prodded then retreated, prodded then retreated.
Rose had trouble figuring out just why Karkat was so nervous about all of this.
 
            Or maybe she was curious as to why she wasn’t. It’s not like she
had done anything like this before. But it was unlikely Karkat had, either.
Then again, he wasn’t the one in control. Suddenly things were clicking.
 
            “Karkat,” she said, curving her back to rest her head on his chin.
She turned her mouth to his ear, her eyes moving to look back at his face. “You
can insert it.”
 
            Sure, she had never had a partner before, but her mother wasn’t one
to tip toe around the topic of sexuality. She was bought the necessary
equipment and taught how to use them effectively. Thinking back on it now it
was good that got taken care of before this game started. Perhaps her mother
knew all along that this was going to happen. Maybe she knew everything.
 
            “Karkat.”
 
            “What.”
 
            “What is it that you want?”
 
            No response.
 
            “I’m willing to comply. But you need to tell me.”
 
            Still he didn’t speak. Not a word.
 
            “Would you like to be inside of me?”
 
            He exhaled shakily, but still didn’t speak. But Rose could feel the
tentacle below still prodding at her. It had even started to get a bit deeper.
She started her usual breathing routine to relax, her eyes fluttering closed.
Suddenly Karkat’s own breathing had become louder than ever. She could
practically hear his heartbeat.
 
            “Go ahead, Karkat. If it’s what you’d like to do, you should do
it.”
 
            He started to comply, still hanging his head out of her sight. She
started to tip her own head back, focusing on her breathing as the tentacle
pressed inside of her, stretching past what she was used to and still wriggling
at the tip of it. She started to lower herself again, allowing Karkat to
stretch his bulge straighter. Finally she was seated properly in her lap. She
could already see spots on her dress where the bright red of his initial
genetic material started to seep through the fabric. But she paid it no mind
now.
 
            “Isn’t that better?” she mused, bringing her head back down. She
started to kiss at his face again. Surprisingly, she felt his hands slide up
the sides of her thighs. They gripped at her hips, his talons thankfully not
sharp enough to break her skin. His body was getting tense. He sat perfectly
still, just like he said was normal.
 
            Rose silently agreed to this end of the cultural sensitivity coin,
keeping herself still on his lap. She didn’t rock, she didn’t grind. She
pressed her hands to his chest, trailing more kissing down his neck.
 
            It was then that movement started, and it sent a shiver along her
spine and made her throw her head back in surprise. The bulge was “doing its
thing” like Karkat had said it would. It was curling and waving inside of her,
pushing against her walls. Her mouth had fallen agape from the feeling of it,
and from underneath her, Karkat’s face was melting in his own pleasure. His
eyebrows had curled, his mouth was hanging open, and the first of his own moans
had begun to push at the back of his throat.
 
            The hitch in his breathing made it obvious to Rose just how he was
holding himself back. And she wasn’t a fan of it. Her mouth once more pressed
to his ear, and she struggled to keep her voice strong with that bulge still
pressing against her.
 
            “You don’t have to stay silent, Karkat. No one can hear you but
me.”
 
            Of course, if it came to taking her own advice…
 
            It at least worked for him. And the more that bulge moved the more
his chest expanded, and the louder his exhales became. Rose successfully coaxed
more moans from him, once again nipping down on the skin at his neck, stroking
his chest with her thumbs and dragging her nails down his sides and his back.
If he was putty a minute ago, she had now started her sculpture.
 
            Karkat gave up on his dignity. His bulge moved faster, pushing and
pressing at Rose’s limits. Karkat’s voice was beginning to bounce from the
walls. And as it did, the tip of the tentacle curled forward. It pressed
against Rose’s g-spot, forcing her eyes to widen and the first moan of her own
to force itself from her throat. Involuntarily her walls tightened around him.
His tentacle responded by repeating the movement, continuing its stimulation of
that spot until Rose’s muscles had started to shudder around him.
            Red genetic material began to seep to the floor. Rose could hear it
hit the floor as Karkat’s voice grew silent save for his breath. She could feel
it inside of her, and she could feel it start to pour from her as Karkat’s now-
satisfied bulge started its retreat back inside of him.
 
            They stayed silent except for their breathing, Rose’s face still
hidden against the side of his head. As even their breath started to fade out,
she finally spoke, without moving away from him.
 
            “I thought you were supposed to use a pail,” she breathed, well
aware of just how soaked his lap now was with both her and his discharge. It
took him a moment, but after moving his hands away from her body, he smirked
out a response.
 
            “I was being culturally sensitive.”
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