Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8563678.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Captain_America_(Movies)
  Relationship:
      James_"Bucky"_Barnes/Steve_Rogers
  Character:
      Steve_Rogers, James_"Bucky"_Barnes, Winifred_Barnes
  Additional Tags:
      Alpha/Beta/Omega_Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Anal_Sex, Ass_Play, First_Time,
      Virginity, Frottage, Blow_Jobs, Mild_Blood, Rimming, Love_Bites, Marking,
      Scent_Marking, Anal_Fingering, Friends_to_Lovers, Claiming_Bites, Pre-
      Captain_America:_The_First_Avenger, Post-Captain_America:_Civil_War_
      (Movie), Captain_America:_The_Winter_Soldier, Captain_America:_The_First
      Avenger, Non-Graphic_Violence, Mpreg
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-11-15 Completed: 2016-12-23 Chapters: 6/6 Words: 19301
****** As we are now ******
by imnotbuck
Summary
     Bucky experiences his first heat– twice.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
***** One *****
1933
Information on male omegas is scarce. It's shameful for a man to be born into
that class because men are betas and alphas, that's how it's always been. Women
are omegas because they are meant to be bred with and bear children—men are
meant to breed. Male omegas haven't been born for years, if they have then
they've been hidden away for their own protection. A male omega is dangerous
because a male scent can overpower any alpha or beta in their area. Male omegas
aren't normal.
Bucky is absolutely terrified. Instead of being an alpha like his runaway
father he's an omega like his mother and sister. He doesn't know how he's
supposed to act and can't be trained because his family decides to keep it a
secret. Pretending to be a beta is difficult but it's his only choice because
there's no way to prove that he isn't one until he reaches full maturity.
He meets Steve at age six. Steve is small and sickly but an alpha. It shows in
how bullheaded he is and his confrontational streak. Bucky immediately falls
under his protection and because Steve is an alpha he isn't challenged even
though he's small. When he tells Steve his secret he isn't met with disgust
like he expects; Steve actually hugs him and tells him that he'll protect him
no matter what. He'll do whatever he needs to do in order to keep Bucky safe
because that's what friends do.
It's easy for his childhood because no one really cares about what class
children are from, they're all treated essentially the same. But at age 16
Bucky can't deny his position anymore because he's experiencing his first heat
cycle.
He's seen his mother and sister go through heats and even helped them but his
own is hell. He's been running a fever for days and leaking natural slick, his
limbs quivering so badly he can't even stand. Even he can smell the scent
wafting from him so he's locked himself in his room with blankets and towels
blocking the openings in the window and door. The fabric is the only thing
keeping his scent from leaving his room and the safety of his house is
guaranteed to allow him to last the heat unscathed. But he doesn't know how
he'll manage to survive such a terrible thing because there's only one thing to
truly help him and that's an alpha.
Steve comes over on day two of his cycle. He can hear him from his room—Steve
is trying to reason with his mother and allow him to see Bucky. Though they're
rooms apart he can feel Steve's power and almost taste his musk. His teeth
chatter and a howl threatens to rip from his throat because he can't stand it.
Steve is his best friend, he cannot want him that way. He tries to tell himself
that it's his body making him react this way but knows that it isn't.
"I can help him." He hears Steve say in his strongest voice. It's not a command
yet but it's nearing that point. "I don't have to—all I need to do is be near
him. My scent'll calm him."
"I'm not sure that's a good idea."
"You know I'd never hurt him, Miss Barnes. All I want is to help."
"He's in awful shape, Steve."
"That's why I need to be here. He'll be okay s'long as I am." His mother sighs.
"Alright." He wants to tell her to keep Steve away but can't. Steve's scent
grows closer and his heart thumps wildly. Bucky jumps off of his bed but has to
crawl into the corner. When the door opens he shrinks away in shame. He doesn't
look up when it closes again because he doesn't need to; Steve's presence is
overpowering his senses.
"Hey buddy." Steve says in a gentle voice. "How ya doin'?" Bucky whimpers.
"Well that was a real stupid question. I know you ain't well, but I'm here
now." Steve walks over to him calmly and he curls in on himself as best he can.
"Just me pal. You know I won't hurt ya."
"You—you, hurts so bad." He can't even form proper sentences he's that far
gone. "Hurts."
"I know Buck. That's why I came—to help my best guy."
"Dunno what to do."
"Will you let me help?"
"How?" Steve lowers himself to his knees and carefully folds Bucky into his
chest. The touch of Steve's skin is electric and his blood sings.
"Touch is good." Steve says softly. "It's supposed to help. But uh, smell me."
"Huh?"
"Let me.. here." Steve positions his head so that his nose rests in the joint
between his neck and shoulder. "Take a breath, Bucky." Bucky listens and the
impact is instant. Steve's scent invades his body and makes all of the noise
inside of him stop. Everything becomes clear and his focus shifts to rest
solely on Steve. "That better?"
"Y—yeah."
"Good." Steve starts to rub his back and he fights to contain a purr.
"How d'you know all this?"
"Classes."
"They teach ya this?"
"Mm. An alpha's gotta know how to take care of their omega." Bucky's body
stiffens. 'Their' implies that he's Steve's omega and it sounds too appealing
to be normal. "I—I didn't mean that you're mine. Alphas need to be prepared
from an early age."
"You smell good." Bucky murmurs and inhales deeply.
"Thanks." Steve says with a chuckle. "You too."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Real good; can't describe it but I like it." There's a humming in his
chest that's quickly building to a deep want. Steve makes a mistake and strokes
his hair, his fingers running through the sweat soaked strands and touching the
nape of Bucky's neck. He whines loudly and Steve nearly jumps.
"No—no, Steve you've gotta let me up."
"Why?"
"'Cause!" Bucky can feel himself hardening, his nipples tightening. "You gotta
listen!"
"What's going on?" Steve's voice is edgy with panic but his hold tightens. It's
an automatic nurturing response that all alphas have when an omega is in
distress.
"Steve." He whines again. "Please, please let me go."
"You're scaring me!"
"I'm scared." He gasps and manages to get himself out of Steve's hold. He
scrambles to his cot and curls up as small as he can. "I'm scared Stevie!"
"Let me help."
"You can't," He gasps and a warm gush of slick rushes down his thighs. His cock
presses uncomfortably against his pyjamas. "Oh, oh." He groans. "Steve.."
"Tell me what's wrong." Steve is too close again. His body refuses to move away
because he wants this too badly. "I can only help if you tell me."
"You smell so good." He pants. "Like.. Like safety. And your hands feel
great—touched my neck and I.." Steve is silent for an agonizing amount of time
and Bucky covers his face. Tears slip free undetected and he trembles all over.
Steve sits down on the cot beside him and touches his shoulder.
"Hey, hey. It's all okay Buck. It's just me—your Stevie." He actually mewls.
Steve tenses and both of their bodies heat up. "You want me and that's fine."
"It isn't!"
"Ain't nothin' wrong with wanting an alpha, Buck. Only natural."
"But you're my friend!"
"Which makes it better, 'cause I know you."
"What..?"
"Look at me, sugar." Bucky gasps and looks at him in shock. Steve smiles shyly.
The eye contact makes his shaking lessen. "See? That's better."
"You.. you called me sugar."
"That okay?"
"Yeah." Steve slides over and runs his fingers across Bucky's cheekbone, making
him shiver. "Stevie.."
"I want you too."
"Really?"
"Always have, stupid." Bucky's nose wrinkles.
"I like sugar better."
"We won't go far this time, Buck. But I'll help—do whatever you need. Just let
me."
"I—okay." Steve lies down beside him and Bucky settles against his chest.
Steve's hand slides under the back of his shirt and caresses his slick skin, a
purr bubbling free. "Steve." He buries his face in Steve's neck again and
breathes in rhythmically.
"That's it, sugar." Steve sighs. "Nice and calm for me." Steve switches his
palm for his knuckles and runs them along Bucky's lower back. The change is
nice and makes his muscles relax. "That's much better."
"Mm." Steve's presence is unbelievably comforting and he wonders how he never
truly noticed before. "Warm." He brushes his lips across Steve's throat and
hears him exhale shakily. "Asthma?"
"No, Buck." He kisses Bucky's forehead. "Just.. that felt nice."
"Good." He repeats the actions but slows himself down, dragging his lips back
and forth with effort. Steve surprises him by groaning. "You like it, Alpha?"
Steve moans loudly.
"Fuck."
"What?"
"You—calling me Alpha, that's swell."
"Really?"
"Yeah, heard about that too. It's, it's, like begging? An omega's natural
submissive response." Bucky flushes with mortification.
"That's embarrassing."
"It's not! That means you're comfortable around me." He whispers. "And that
you're submitting to me."
"You want that?"
"Every alpha wants an omega to submit to them. 'Specially their omega."
"Is that what I am, Stevie?" He asks hopefully. "Yours?"
"If you want to be."
"I do." He doesn't hesitate for even a second.
"We're a bit young for a claiming but I can.. I can scent mark you." Bucky
knows all about scent marking; it involves a lot of touching and rubbing and
other satisfying things. "If you want."
"Please." Steve moves Bucky's head away from his neck and he makes a noise of
pure distress. "It's okay, sugar. I'm right here."
"Stevie.." Steve kisses him then and he grips his shoulder carefully. Bucky's
never kissed anyone before and the light touch of Steve's lips is amazing. He's
melting but frozen and Steve just continues to brush their lips together
repeatedly. He moans and pushes their bodies closer.
"You're so beautiful, Buck." Bucky blushes hard. "Always smell so good."
"Before this?"
"Hell yes." Steve's lips stray from his and slide down to his jaw. His kisses
linger there, soft and sweet, for a while. Bucky's trembling with need and he
doesn't know what he's supposed to do next but knows that he absolutely has to
do something. He leans his head back and Steve's lips find their way to his
throat. He inhales and moans, tongue jutting out and swiping across Bucky's
damp skin.
"Oh lord." Bucky whimpers. "Feels amazing."
"You're mine now, Bucky."
"Yeah." He replies and licks his dry lips. "Yours, Alpha." Steve moves to the
joint connecting his neck and his shoulder and clamps down. He jolts and whines
high enough to be embarrassing. Steve doesn't break the skin but sucks hard
enough to leave a brilliant mark. "Please, please, Stevie. Mark me please."
"Okay sugar." Steve pulls Bucky's undershirt over his head and throws it over
his shoulder then lies Bucky underneath him. Steve is small but so, so warm.
Bucky arches into his touch and Steve rubs his palms down Bucky's chest, the
rough skin scraping against his oversensitive nipples and a cry coming free.
"When I'm done, there'll be no mistaking that you're mine." Steve's eyes dance
with pure pleasure. "Mine."
"Please." He begs. "Want this so much, I'm goin' crazy Stevie."
"I've got you." Steve presses the length of his body against Bucky and starts
to rut against him. Their hips slide together and he can feel all of the sharp
angles of his body which only enhances his senses. He wants to scream but can't
risk his ma or sisters or even the neighbours hearing. He can feel Steve's musk
seeping into his skin and moans low in his throat. "That's it, sugar, let me
in."
"Please.. please.."
"What do you need?" Bucky tilts his hips up and whines. "Tell me."
"You." Steve kisses his way down Bucky's chest and stomach, stopping at the
waistband of his pyjamas and staring up at him. "God, please." Steve pulls his
pants down and stares at him hungrily. "Please, Stevie. Stevie—I—" Slick rushes
out of him and leaks onto the bed. Steve's eyes darken.
"Holy crap, Buck. You're soaked!"
"Shut up!"
"It's.. jeez." He lowers his head and actually licks his cleft. Bucky mewls
loudly.
"Fuck, what're you doing?" Steve continues to lap at him. Steve spreads his
thighs more and slurps the liquid up messily. "Oh, oh, Stevie—yeah, lick it
up." He grabs Steve's hair and tries to pull him closer. "Take it all, Alpha.
It's yours, I'm yours." Steve moans against him and the vibration makes his
back arch. Steve licks him with ravenous need, his tongue swiping up and down
rapidly. It feels way too good, he doesn't know if there's anything better.
"God, you taste as good as I thought." Bucky whines softly. "Mine, all mine."
Steve lowers his mouth and starts to suck on the sensitive skin of his asshole.
His chest heaves and his heart pounds just as fast. Steve spreads him wider
with the pads of his thumbs and shoves his tongue into him. Bucky shoves his
fist into his mouth to muffle his scream. Steve thrusts his tongue in and out
of him, wiggling and curling it in the most devastating ways. He mewls
desperately and rocks his hips to meet Steve's working tongue.
"Please, please Stevie. Need more—oh please.." Steve pulls back and Bucky moans
when he sees how wet his face is. Steve licks his lips then wipes his palm
across his face, gathering the slick, and licks his palm. Bucky's cock throbs.
"I need more, please. Gotta—please." Steve nods and yanks his own pants and
underwear down. Bucky stares longingly at Steve's hard cock, eyes lingering on
his knot. "I'm, please.."
"I got ya, sugar." Steve climbs on top of him and pushes Bucky's thighs apart,
shoving his cock between them and forcing them shut again. He moans at the
feeling of Steve's cock pulsing so close to where he needs it. "I'm right
here."
"Alpha." He whines and Steve starts to thrust. The feeling is amazing and
intimate; Steve's cock rubbing along his slick inner thighs causes sparks to
fly through his veins. He tightens his hold and Steve's knot catches, both of
them groaning. "Please baby, please."
"You're such a good boy." Steve coos and makes him tremble. Bucky shifts his
hips back and forth as a makeshift way of riding him. Steve's soft groan spurs
him on and he moves faster, his cock bobbing against his stomach. "A good boy
for me, Buck. Perfect."
"Steve, Stevie, alpha." He babbles. "Oh, oh, yes, Stevie..!" Slick slides out
of him, burning hot, and makes Steve's thrusts even smoother. The lack of
proper friction is maddening but he needs it so much. "More, more!"
"Hush, sugar." Steve purrs. "You're gonna be a good boy for me and quiet down,
aren't ya?" He nods, lips parted in a silent moan. "My good omega, mm sugar."
Steve kisses him and he moans loudly into his mouth. He can feel Steve's knot
expanding and he stifles the urge to beg to be fucked. He knows that it's too
soon for that, even if they haven't officially claimed each other he could
still get pregnant.
Steve maneuvers himself onto the bed with Bucky on top of him. He's scared of
hurting him because he's so small but Steve shows no signs of discomfort. He
mouths at Bucky's neck and sucks a mark onto his scent gland, making him jerk
and spasm. Steve's teeth scrape the tiniest bit and he cums, his thighs
clenching around his knot.
"That's it, sugar. So sweet, so perfect.."
"Knot me, knot me, Stevie please."
"Not yet baby." Bucky pulls himself off of Steve and before the alpha can
protest he slides down between Steve's thighs and sucks his cock into his
mouth.
He can taste his slick all over him and mewls, taking in as much as he can. He
moves his head back and forth, taking Steve to the back of his throat then
letting only his tip remain inside. Steve growls low in his throat and Bucky
goes all in, taking Steve's cock into his mouth until his knot is trapped
behind his teeth and his nose is pressed against the coarse hair at his pelvis.
"Oh fuck, sugar, that's amazin'." Steve moans and pets his hair. He can't
really breathe but he refuses to pull back any; they both want this too damn
much. He can only swallow around him but it's enough to make Steve cum straight
down his throat, his knot growing briefly before shrinking down moderately. He
stays there with Steve's cock in his mouth for a few minutes before pulling
away and making a nest between his thighs using the rolled up sheet. "You're
mine, sugar." Steve mumbles groggily. Bucky smiles and brushes his lips across
his inner thigh.
"Yours, alpha."
2016
Bucky hasn't experienced his heat in over 70 years. The stress of the war was a
natural suppressant and being under HYDRA's control made it impossible. They
kept him on ice for long enough that he didn't have time for it to happen and
before they froze him the chair screwed up his brain chemistry as well as his
physical instincts, so he never had to go through it. He'd forgotten the
horrors of an omega's first heat but now, he's facing it all again.
At first he tries to pretend like it isn't happening. He forces himself to
ignore the physical pain it causes him and the slick that slides out of him
whenever Steve is close. Then the emotional aspect sets in and he's unable to
stop the mood swings and need to touch. He rubs up against the sheets of his
bed and when that isn't enough, he subtly steals some of Steve's blankets. He
makes a nest that smells like his alpha and ruts against the bed until he cums
with a cry of Steve's name.
Steve finds him just like that on the fourth day of his heat. He's lying on his
stomach with his back arched and face buried in one of Steve's stolen pillows.
It smells so strongly of him that breathing it in hurts his lungs. He thrusts
back and forth, his cock rubbing uncomfortably against the much too soft
material. He begs as if Steve is there touching him, memories of his actual
first heat supplying him with realistic enough sensations.
"Bucky." He hears Steve's rough voice but can't stop. Slick slides out of him
and he cries out, bending his arm back in a position that would hurt in any
other situation and shoving two of his fingers into himself. Steve inhales
sharply and he whines like a needy kitten. "God, you're in heat?"
"Oh, oh, please.." He feels the dip in the mattress and Steve crawls between
his spread legs.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"We haven't," He gasps. "we haven't talked about this s—since before the war. I
didn't, I couldn't."
"You can't go through this alone."
"Couldn't ask you for this." They haven't really touched since Wakanda and it
wasn't intimate. He couldn't bring himself to beg for what he needed; loving
and gentle reassurance through petting and kissing and snuggling.
"You can ask me for anything, you need to know that."
"Didn't know if you'd still want this."
"Why wouldn't I?" Steve snarls and surprises him. "I love you, Bucky, you've
been mine from the first time I saw you when we were goddamn kids."
"Steve.." Steve pulls Bucky's fingers out of him and he whines at the loss.
"You think that I'm glad that we never got around to claiming each other, don't
you."
"I didn't.. I don't.."
"I think about it everyday and I hate it. The fact that you don't have my mark
on your neck bothers me to no end."
"You didn't get to knot me either." He whispers and Steve sighs. The truth is
that despite what Steve probably thinks, he's a virgin. He's never had anything
inside of him other than his fingers, HYDRA tech, or certain parts of Steve.
He's never wanted anyone else, not once, and so he was willing to wait until
Steve was ready. It didn't come in time.
"Let me help you, sugar." Bucky collapses onto the bed, pushing his rear out
and presenting himself in a perfect display of submission. "That's a good boy."
Steve runs his hand down Bucky's spine and sighs. "You're so beautiful, Buck.
Love you so much."
"Love you too." He gasps. "Love you, love you, love you." Steve presses a
gentle kiss to his tailbone and slides lower until he reaches his cleft. He
trembles when he feels Steve's breath ghosting over his asshole. Instead of
taking it slow like before Steve spreads him wide and latches his mouth
directly onto his hole, sucking and slurping roughly. He howls and pounds his
fist against the bed. "Alpha please!" Slick pours out of him and into Steve's
waiting mouth, warm and wet. His body shakes and he pushes back onto his mouth.
Steve eats him until he's sobbing and continues even after he cums. It's too
much but not even close to enough. He wants whatever Steve wants and maybe
more. Steve's tongue thrusts in and out of him and he growls against his slick
flesh. He's pliant and desperate by the time Steve pulls away.
"Please, Stevie, baby, please claim me." Steve flips him onto his back and
stares down at him, the lower half of his face glistening. Bucky can't resist;
he sits up halfway and licks the slick from Steve's jaw and mouth. Steve groans
loudly and kisses him, Bucky's lips parting immediately. Steve slots one of
thighs between Bucky's and Bucky ruts against it. He's mewling uncontrollably
and his hips are moving so fast that it hurts. He cums again and slick rushes
out of him, wetting Steve's thigh.
"You feel like heaven, sugar. I've been waiting for you to come to me for
months. I wanted to give you time to fall back into our relationship but you
just wouldn't... Thought you didn't remember."
"I didn't think you'd want me."
"I'll always want you, Buck. I love you."
"Stevie, please claim me. Please, please.."
"S'okay sugar, I'm here now. I'll take care of you."
Soon, not soon enough, Steve is sliding into him. His cock feels so amazing
inside of him that his breath is punched right out of his lungs and he can only
moan. Steve's arms are braced on either side of his head and his hips are
fitted snugly against his ass, their bodies pressed amazingly close. He feels
safe and warm and loved— it's everything that he's been wanting his entire
life. Steve spends an incredible amount of time immobile inside of him, his
cock pulsing and twitching.
"Please Stevie." Steve pushes his face into his shoulder and nods. He pulls
back and Bucky cries, clutching at him.
"I'm not going anywhere. I promise, sugar. I'm not leaving." Steve starts to
thrust into him, his hips rolling and cock hitting sensitive nerves. He moans
and slick continues to slide free. "Sugar, you're so good."
"Stevie, baby, harder." He pushes back and forth, the smell of his slick and
Steve's arousal filling the air with musk. Bucky cries out and meets his
thrusts with downward bucks of his hips. "Yes, yes!"
"Buck, baby, that's perfect. You're the best sugar. The sweetest guy in the
world and all mine."
"Breed me." He cries. "Breed me alpha, please!” The idea of Steve not knotting
him, not cumming in him, makes him panic. He can't stand it. “Please, want your
knot! Please alpha!”
“You wanna have my pups?” Steve croons. Bucky nods frantically. “You wanna have
my pups, be a good mom to our babies?”
“Yes, yes, alpha. Please breed me.” Tears well up in his eyes and he hiccups
wetly. “I need you– please..” Steve's eyes soften and he kisses him so sweetly
it hurts.
“I love you Bucky. I'm gonna give you everything; you'll never be alone again.”
Bucky sobs and holds Steve tightly. “You'll never be scared or doubt again. I'm
with you, omega.”
“Please..” Steve thrusts slowly, taking his time to give Bucky as much pleasure
as possible. He kisses Bucky's neck and nuzzles his skin. “I love you alpha.”
“I'm gonna claim you now, Buck. You'll be mine forever.” With the serum in him,
Bucky's afraid that the mark won't take. He might heal too fast for it to
really sink in. But he can't take not being Steve's officially anymore– it
hurts too much.
“Yes, yes Steve. Please claim me.”
“I love you.” Steve laps at his bonding gland, mouths at him and inhales.
“Mine.” Steve says, opens his mouth and fits his teeth to Bucky's gland. He
bites down and pushes his teeth in deep. Bucky wails and clenches around
Steve's cock, his body desperate to keep his alpha close. Steve pulls back and
licks the blood away, kisses it. “You're so beautiful.”
“Knot me..”
“Let me in, omega. Come on baby.” Bucky whines and loosens his muscles, slick
sliding free. Steve makes an appreciative sound and pushes closer. He feels
Steve's knot presses against his hole and mewls helplessly. “You're such a good
omega, so sweet and wonderful.”
“Alpha..” Steve's knot pops past his rim and Bucky screams. Steve groans and
Bucky's body tightens, locking them together by instinct.
“Oh baby, sugar, this is amazing. God you're so good.” Steve's thrusts are
small and short now but his knot pushes and pulls. Bucky babbles mindlessly and
digs his nails into Steve's shoulders. “I'm almost there baby. I'm gonna give
you pups.”
“A family..” Steve starts to stroke Bucky's cock. He rubs his thumb against his
slit and kisses his Bucky deeply. Bucky can taste his blood fresh on Steve's
tongue and loves everything about it. “Alpha!” He screams when Steve hits his
prostate directly. “Alpha, m’yours!”
“And I'm yours, omega.” Bucky cums hard and slumps against the bed. Steve rolls
his hips and ruts against Bucky, rubbing out his orgasm. Steve's knot locks
them and pushes his cum deep into him. He whimpers and mewls, nuzzling Steve's
neck and pressing a few soft kisses there.
“Sleep baby, I'll be right here.” Bucky nods and closes his eyes. He falls
asleep with Steve's knot still buried inside of him.
-
Steve's mark has already turned into a scar but it stands out starkly against
his skin. He touches it when he feels uneasy and Steve runs his mouth across it
whenever he possibly can.
“So?” Steve asks from the other room. Bucky washes his shaking hands and dries
them quickly. He takes a deep breath and shakes himself out then walks back
into the bedroom. Steve is sitting on the bed, his fists curled around the
blanket beneath him. He looks up at Bucky eagerly even though they both
promised not to get their hopes up.
Bucky grins, nods. Steve's jaw drops. “Positive.” Bucky says and Steve jumps
up. He runs over and scoops Bucky up but is careful not to put pressure on his
stomach. “We're gonna have our pups.”
“I knew it,” Steve whispers and kisses his mark,”I knew it.”
***** Two *****
Chapter Summary
     How they lived before the war.
Chapter Notes
     I wasn't planning on continuing this but it got such a positive
     response do here this is. I might have another chapter left in me but
     we'll see.
When Sarah passes away, it's Bucky who cares for Steve. Most alphas would
refuse being taken care of, but Steve doesn't care. They move into a ratty
apartment in Brooklyn and are given food by Bucky's family and people mourning
Sarah's death. Steve is in no shape to do anything other than offer a few words
of gratitude so he's unable to look after Bucky like an omega needs of their
alpha, but it doesn't matter. They curl up against each other night after
night, spend their days lazing around, until Bucky has to get a job. That's
where Steve draws the line and it comes to a head.
“You can't be angry, Steve.” Bucky says quietly. Steve is scowling furiously
with his arms crossed. He won't look at him. “You know that this doesn't change
anything, don't you?”
“It does Bucky.” Steve sounds both hurt and angry. “No self respecting alpha
lets their omega pull all the weight. You're not supposed to be taking care of
us– that's my job.”
“You are taking care of us. You take care of me real well.” Bucky sits down on
the bed in front of him. “I'm lucky to have an alpha who treats me like you
do.”
“Don't patronize me.” Steve snaps. Bucky flinches and looks down.
“I wasn't tryin’ to.” He murmurs. “I'm serious– you give me everything I need.”
“Really? You need to work two jobs? You need to worry that your alpha could
keel over any second?” Bucky's eyes fill with tears. He refuses to think of
things like that. Sure Steve gets sick pretty often but he won't leave him. He
won't.
“Don't say shit like that.”
“You know it just as well as I do. A strong breeze could kill me!”
“I said don't say that!” Bucky screams. Steve jerks back in surprise. “Don't
throw that into the universe. Someone, someone looking out could hear you and
think you want that. They, they could take you away from me!” Bucky starts to
cry and tries desperately to stop himself. It's no use; the image of Steve, his
alpha and best friend, dying on him is stuck in his mind. He'll be all alone.
He can't love anyone else– he'll be Steve's until the day he dies and he
intends to grow old with him. “They could take you away, Steve!”
“Bucky.” Steve's voice holds none of the anger it did just a minute ago.
“M'sorry baby, that was stupid. I shouldn't have said that.”
“You can't leave me.” He whimpers. “That's not– it's not how it works. You
picked me, you don't get to leave!”
“I'm sorry Bucky. That was mean of me to say; you know I'm not leaving you.”
“You can't.. that's not fair.” Steve wraps himself around Bucky and pulls down
onto the bed. Bucky buries his nose in his neck, right over his scent gland,
and inhales repeatedly. “I know you're mad at me, but don't go.” Steve makes a
sad noise and holds him tight.
“I'm not mad at you, sugar. I just hate that this is how things are. I wanna be
the perfect alpha and give you the life you should have.”
“You’re perfect, alpha. I don't want anything else. I love you alpha.” Steve
sighs fondly.
“I love you too, omega.” Steve says and Bucky noses along his throat. His scent
isn't clogged with anger and pain anymore; he smells like burned brown sugar
and smoke; sweet and intoxicating. “You're wonderful and sweet, a fresh cherry
in the dead of winter.”
“Mmm..” Bucky purrs. He laps at Steve's neck, desperate to have him. “Alpha..”
“I always hoped we'd be mates. Ever since I learned what a mate was I wished
for one; I wanted someone to love and be loved by without carin’ about anything
else.” Steve strokes the nape of Bucky's neck and makes him mewl. “We were just
kids when you came along and I knew. I knew it was you. But I thought you were
a beta and it hurt more than any illness or injury. An ache bone deep.”
“Stevie, was always you.”
“I know baby, I know. That's why I was willing to protect you with everythin’ I
had from the start. I still am Buck.” Bucky kisses Steve's neck and feels his
own tingle. He longs for Steve to claim him that way but he can't ask. Steve is
afraid for reasons he won't tell him about and he won't push him. It's the same
reason Steve won't knot him even though they've been mates for nearly five
years. “You're my sweet little omega.”
“Yeah, m’yours. Alpha, my alpha.” Steve scratches the nape of his neck and he
moans low in his throat. Steve's answering rumble makes his body thrum.
“Thank you sugar. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'll
never leave you, not without a fight.” Bucky's thighs quiver, arousal coiling
inside of him. He knows that Steve can feel it.
“Oh alpha.” Bucky whines. “Please, can we?”
“Lie back for me baby.” Bucky gets on his back and Steve settles between his
thighs. Steve pulls off Bucky's boxers and sighs at the sight of his leaking
cock and slick hole. “My beautiful omega.” Bucky pulls his knees to his chest
to give Steve a better look. He knows that his alpha loves to look at how his
entrance quivers with the need to be touched. “Look at my good boy. The best
boy.”
Bucky knows he isn't an ideal omega. He's too tall and muscled, his scent isn't
right, and he's a man most of all. He knows this, but Steve doesn't. Steve
looks at him as if he's the perfect specimen and a gift to the world. He loves
that Steve accepts him for who he is and would never change him, because that
feeling is shared.
“You smell so good, sugar. Never been anything better.” Steve spreads him with
his hands and lowers his head to lick up some of his slick. Bucky moans and
holds his legs up with shaking hands. Steve pushes his tongue inside along with
one of his fingers.
“Stevie,” he chokes, “more!” Steve rubs another of his fingers along Bucky's
rim, his body loosening and stretching to accept him. “Alpha!” He knows he
should be quiet but he can't hold anything back. He needs Steve to know how
good he makes him feel.
Steve growls and Bucky's body responds with another wave of slick. His cock
dribbles precum onto his stomach and he moans. His head turns from side to side
wildly. The strong scent of Steve's arousal permeates the air and sinks into
his skin, claiming him just enough. Steve sucks on his asshole and licks into
him, deeper and deeper. He swivels his tongue in a figure 8 and Bucky sobs. His
body opens up to Steve, ready for him. He wants Steve to knot him so intensely
it hurts. He needs to feel his alpha filling him with his knot and giving him
pups.
“Stevie please, I need more!” Steve pulls his tongue out and licks over his
hole. His body is pliant and eager; he's ready to take in his alpha. Why won't
Steve do it? He knows that Steve has his reasons but he wants him desperately.
“I know baby. You need somethin’ inside you, don't ya?” Bucky whines, nods.
“Don't worry, omega. I've got you.” Steve slips two fingers into him and he
sobs. Slick flows past the intrusion and his hole spasms, opening more. Steve
coos and works in another finger so that all five are inside of him. He turns
him round and round, thrusts them in and out. “That's a good boy.” Steve
croons. “So pretty for your alpha.”
“I, I, m'so close. Please don't stop!”
“Oh sugar, I'll never stop. Cum for me baby.” Bucky gasps and his hips stutter,
his release spurting warm on his stomach. Steve pulls his fingers out and licks
his cum off of him slowly. That simple touch makes it difficult to breath, he's
that overwhelmed.
“Alpha, knot me..” He slurs and Steve's beautiful face contorts from sadness.
“I love you Buck.” Bucky nods and closes his eyes so not to see the sadness
that he can't fix.
“I love you too Stevie.”
-
“Hey Barnes,” Ricky calls from the doorway of the diner, “your alpha finally
bite the big one yet?” The smugness in his voice makes Bucky whip around.
“What?” Bucky hisses.
“That runt of the litter alpha you're saddled with. He finally gone?” Pure rage
fills him and his lip curls over his teeth. A girl– Lory– appears by his side
and tugs on his sleeve, looking wary.
“God Rick, you said you wouldn't go pickin’ fights anymore.” Lory complains but
lacks punch. He can smell her fear. Ricky waves her off.
“I ain't pickin’ anything. I just think it's unfair that a perfectly good omega
has a crap alpha.” Ricky smirks at Bucky. “I could take care of ya, Barnes.”
“As if I'd leave my alpha for a puke like you.” Bucky snarls and Ricky just
laughs.
“Scrappy– I like that. Bet you're a fireball in bed.” Ricky winks. “I'm
surprised a weakling like Steve can even knot you.” Bucky flushes and forces
himself not to look away. “No way! He's really something.”
“That's none of your business.”
“He probably can't even give you pups.” The anger and secret fear of it boils
over and he stalks forward.
“Shut the fuck up.” Bucky growls. “Don't you talk about him you pathetic piece
of shit!” Lory takes a step back.
“Even if he can, they'll be too weak to survive. They'll die early– like their
pa.” Bucky dives on Ricky and knocks him to the ground. He punches him until he
hears the bone of his nose snap and starts to choke him, his rage overtaking
him.
“Don't you ever talk about him like that! You're not half the man he is!” Two
men materialize out of nowhere and start to drag Bucky off of him. He fights
against them and kicks at Ricky. “You can burn in hell you good for nothing
scumbag!”
It takes ten minutes for them to be separated and another ten for Lory and a
few other patrons to convince Bucky to go home. Ricky isn't going to tell the
police that an omega got the best of him so Bucky isn't in any danger with the
law, but that doesn't matter to him. He'd do it all again just to wipe those
words away. As soon as he gets back to their apartment Steve is on him.
“What the hell, Bucky?” Steve asks and washes the blood from Bucky's knuckles.
It stings, but not nearly as much the disappointment in his tone. “You never
fight.”
“S’no big deal.” He mumbles and looks down at his split knuckles.
“What set you off?” He can still hear Ricky’s words fresh in his mind. They
were his worst fears brought to life and now they're playing inside of him on
repeat. “I need to know.”
“It was nothing.”
“I know when you're lying.”
“Please, Steve. Please just– it was nothing.” His voice breaks and he shakes
his head. “It doesn't matter.” Steve sighs and kisses Bucky's cheek.
“Okay baby, we don't have to talk about it.” Bucky mews and leans into Steve's
body. He doesn't want to think about the future because there are too many open
ends. He loves Steve too much to think about all of the bad things that could
happen to them. Even if it's just the two of them forever, that's the family
they'll have.
“I love you Stevie. I love you so damn much.” Bucky whimpers. “You're my alpha.
You're not leavin’ me, right? You'll stay with me?” Steve takes Bucky's chin
between two of his fingers and looks at him. There are tears in Steve's eyes
that voice his fears as well, fears that they've both chosen to ignore.
“I'm stayin’ baby. I won't leave you, Buck.”
“Not without a fight.” Bucky whispers. Steve sighs and nods.
“Not without a fight.”
***** Three *****
Chapter Summary
     The war begins.
Chapter Notes
     warning: description of Bucky's time as a war prisoner
See the end of the chapter for more notes
War comes from far away, and it doesn't spare them. Steve is eager to fight the
faceless bad guys and enlists before he can even be drafted. Bucky isn't as
eager, he isn't eager at all. He knows that with all of Steve's health problems
he'll never be drafted and that because he himself is healthy and able he'll
have to go. Leaving Steve behind terrifies him because he won't know how he is
and won't see him for god knows how long. He can't handle the idea of it,
especially with the reality looming over him.
“When I get over there, those bastards won't know what hit 'em.” Steve says and
pulls his thin scarf tighter around his neck. Bucky chews on his lip, his hands
trembling in the pockets of his jacket. “The war’ll be over in days.”
“M’thinkin cabbage stew for supper. I have some extra cash so we can grab the
ingredients if they're cheap enough.” Bucky says as calmly as possible. He
refuses to encourage war talk.
“Sure, but we should save up for some meat. We need to be fit to serve.”
“Been talkin’ to Davie at the grocers. He needs someone to help bring in the
heavy crates and he'll pay pretty good so I'm gonna do it.”
“No.” Steve says in a tone of complete finality. Bucky stumbles on an uneven
piece of the sidewalk.
“What?”
“I said no.” Steve runs his hand over his hair. “You're not working another
job.”
“We need the money.”
“No we don't.” With the cold weather coming Steve is bound to get sick more;
Bucky wants to save up some money to make sure that they can afford medicine.
He can't tell Steve that's what he's doing because it'll only make the alpha
feel guilty. “We’re fine.”
“There's some stuff we've gotta get and extra money's nothing to scoff at. I'll
be fine.”
“No, Bucky.” Steve uses his alpha voice that time and makes Bucky wince. Steve
never uses it because he doesn't want to take Bucky's will away from him. They
both know an omega can't resist an alpha's command. “You're not working another
job and that's final.”
“That's not fair, Steve. I'm allowed to work if I want to.” Steve stops walking
and shakes his head.
“Bucky, you're working two jobs and doing small work on the side. You can't
keep going like this or you'll get sick and I can't have that.”
“I'm fine.” Bucky says and pulls them into an alley. He presses himself against
Steve and bends just low enough to nose along his neck. The worry coming off of
Steve makes his stomach hurt. “Alpha, it'll be good. S’okay.” Steve sighs and
pets his hair.
“I can't lose you, Buck. I love you too much to watch you wither away.” Bucky
swallows thickly and his fight leaves him. He can't continue pushing when Steve
is worrying like this. “Please baby.”
“Okay alpha. I won't do it.” Steve kisses his forehead.
“Thank you Bucky.”
-
Steve is denied by the drafting officer countless times. He's given fake names
at different stations and still come up short. It makes his mood terrible and
Bucky tries to make the best of things. With people being drafted left and
right there's a lot of work to be done so he's being paid more, which gives
them a steadier place. Things aren't easy or fun but he's trying his hardest.
Steve goes into rut later than expected because of his mood. When he does he
gets even grumpier and snaps at the slightest inconvenience. It keeps Bucky on
edge because he doesn't want Steve to get angry with him; he hates that more
than anything.
“Alpha,” Bucky murmurs and squeezes Steve's knot, “feel good?” Steve shudders,
nods.
“Yeah baby. You're doin’ so good for me.” Steve needs to knot Bucky and cum in
him to relieve some of the stress of his rut but he won't. It makes things hard
on his already fragile body and Bucky does everything he can to get him through
the worst of it. “Omega, ah god, Bucky..” Bucky massages Steve's swollen sac
with one spit slick hand and strokes his cock with the other. He knows that too
much stimulation on Steve's knot can cause pain so he alternates between
playing with his balls and squeezing his knot.
“You gonna cum, alpha?” He asks softly and Steve groans. “Lemme have it
Stevie.”
“All yours, Buck. Mm baby– make me cum again.” Bucky speeds up the pace of his
hand and rolls his balls firmly. Steve chokes and rocks his hips back and
forth. “My good little omega. Baby, don't stop– god Bucky, keep goin’!” Steve's
scent covers him and he wants Steve to knot him, wants him to overwhelm him in
every sense of the word. He should be able to open up for Steve and help him
during his rut, but he can't.
“Alpha.” He murmurs and Steve moans, long and loud. He cums onto Bucky's
stomach and starts to rub it into his skin. Bucky moans and his cock starts to
throb. “Stevie..”
“Yeah sugar?” Bucky turns so that he's facing away from Steve and spreads his
legs. Steve growls and slides his half hard cock between his thighs. Bucky
closes his legs and works himself back and forth along Steve’s cock, bringing
him to full hardness quickly. Normally Steve doesn't get hard again for a very
long time after he cums but rut gives him an increased recovery time. Bucky
secretly loves it because Steve marks him with it every time– he loves smelling
like his alpha.
“Oh alpha, you're perfect.” Steve kisses the nape of his neck. “Cum, alpha.
Stevie baby, cum.” Steve nips at his neck when he cums, sending Bucky over the
edge with him. The warmth of Steve's release on his inner thighs makes him purr
and he carefully opens his legs, takes Steve out from between them, and turns
to face him. Steve smiles and kisses Bucky softly, a sweet noise leaving him.
“You're so beautiful Bucky. I'm so lucky to have you with me.” Bucky mewls and
nuzzles Steve's neck. When he's relaxed he smells like nothing else; a scent
that Bucky could recognize anywhere. “I love you.”
“I love you too Steve.” That's why he's terrified of being separated from him
and one of the many reasons why he wants the war to stop before it reaches
them.
-
Steve's art has taken a big hit because of his depression. He doesn't draw
anymore and when he does he critiques it until he hates it so much that he
throws it away. Steve puts his pencils and sketchbook away somewhere that not
even Bucky knows where and doesn't touch them for a while. It breaks Bucky's
heart to see Steve quit doing what he loves.
Bucky loses his job at the docks and replaces it with one at an auto shop. He
also does odd jobs and starts to put away money for when he inevitably gets
shipped out. Steve doesn't know about the money and Bucky feels guilty about
keeping things from him but he can't risk Steve stopping him. He can't leave
Steve there without money, it's not right.
It happens all at once; most of the omegas around him go into heat and wind up
pregnant. They glow in a way that only pregnant omegas can, sparkling with the
new lives inside of them. He ignores it at first but the more omegas he sees
the more it tears at him. He wants to have Steve's pups and he wants them as
soon as possible, but that can't happen because Steve won't knot him. He can't
have that glow or be looked at like he's doing something great because without
his alpha’s knot, there's no chance.
The men at the auto shop are all very nice and completely welcoming to Bucky.
They don't care that Bucky's an omega at all, they treat him as they do each
other. But they all have wives and girlfriends who are pregnant and they talk
about them nonstop. He puts on a brave face and engages in conversation despite
how much it hurts. “Jan's about ready to go.” Davis says with a proud grin.
Bucky offers a weak smile in return. “Any day now.”
“That's great, pal. I'm real happy for you.” He is, truly, because Davis is a
great guy. He's just sad that he can't relate more.
“She's running around the house like a shot out of a gun tryin’ to get stuff
ready. I keep tellin’ her to take it easy or she'll induce labour but she won't
listen.” Davis chuckles. “She's amazing.”
“I'll bet.”
“I think our girl’ll be a healthy one.” Davis says softly and Bucky looks up
from the tire he's fitting.
“A girl?”
“We don't know for sure but Jan thinks so. A mother just knows I guess.” Bucky
tries his hardest not to be jealous. He hates that he can't be fully happy for
Davis because of his own issues. “How 'bout you Bucky? Got any plans for a
family?”
“I'm workin’ hard right now so if I did get pregnant it'd be too much stress on
the baby.” His chest fills with longing. “I don't know if we're ready to have a
family yet.” Davis stares at him with sympathy and it hurts even more. He
doesn't want to be pitied because of what he can't control.
“When you decide to have kids, you know we've got your back. You and your alpha
got a family here.” Bucky forces back his tears.
“Thanks Davis.”
“It's nothin’. You can come see her sometime, if you want.”
“I'll remember that.”
Bucky refuses to give into his urges and waste money at the bar. He goes
straight home and climbs into bed with Steve. He can't hold in his sobbing
anymore. His sobs shake his entire body and wake Steve, his alpha instantly
fawning over him. Bucky folds in on himself and cries into his hands.
“Please talk to me, sugar. Tell me what's wrong.” Steve begs and strokes his
hair. “Come on Buck. Tell me baby.”
“All the omegas are gettin’ pregnant.” Bucky whimpers. “M’the only one who's
not.”
“Oh sugar.” Steve sighs. “S’for the best right now. Having pups wouldn't be
good for us.” Bucky wants to agree but can't. Times are tough, he knows that,
but they'd be good parents. He wants to show Steve just how good they'd be. “I
promise it'll all work out.”
“I,” Bucky stumbles over the right words to say, “I trust you.”
-
A month later, Bucky is called up for service. He's drafted into the 107th and
given the date that he ships out for basic training– the day he loses Steve.
Steve tries to be positive but his anger, envy, and worry shine through. He
insists that he doesn't blame Bucky for anything because he's done nothing
wrong but Bucky isn't convinced. He spends every second he has left with Steve
trying to get him to understand and to claim him before he goes because though
he won't say it aloud, there's a possibility that he won't come back.
Steve doesn't claim him, not with a bond mark or a knotting. The night he
leaves Steve makes him a promise that he won't do anything dangerous though
they both know he won't keep it.
-
The 107th is full of alphas and betas, Bucky is the only omega. All of the
other omegas are nurses or higher in the ranks and they're women or one of the
other two male omegas on base. Surprisingly everyone is welcoming to him–
probably because he's an excellent sniper, but it's still nice to be treated
kindly.
Bucky goes on countless missions and is an asset to his squadron. The images
from the trenches haunt him night after night, his mind clouded with all of the
horrors that he's seen and even committed. Regardless of that Bucky pushes
forward because he has to survive. He has to make it back to Steve. He fights
with everything he has because Steve is waiting for him on the other side, his
alpha wants him back.
Doubts breed in his mind after every mission. What if Steve doesn't want him
back? Why would he want a bloodstained omega? Bucky's damaged now in ways that
Steve will never understand. He won't make a good mother like this, with his
murderous hands and darkened soul. Those doubts never fully leave but he shoves
them down into the darkest depths of himself where they only sting, not bleed.
Then he gets captured.
Bucky's kept in an enemy camp for an endless amount of time. He spends most of
his time in a cell and when he's not there he's in a darkened lab strapped to a
table. Scientists inject him with things that scorch his veins and send him
into fits of hysteria. Whispers of German words and jumbled English haunt him
while he attempts to sleep. Nightmares plague him day and night as do the
screams of the other prisoners.
Steve, he thinks over and over, who'll tell him that I'm gone?
He suffers through a heat while imprisoned and uses all of his strength to
fight off anyone who comes to knot him. The heat lasts longer than any others
have because the scientists poke and prod at him; they take samples of his
blood and even his slick. He can't tell if the results of whatever tests
they're conducting are good or not, either way he slowly gives into the fact
that he's going to die. His only hope is that Steve can survive without him.
-
Bucky drifts in and out of consciousness for what feels like months. He's
barely able to form coherent thoughts, his body fights on autopilot when the
time comes. It doesn't feel like he's alive. That's why when an uproar echoes
through the facility he doesn't react at all. He lies on the table and waits
for whatever's coming to him.
“Bucky!” It's Steve's voice, clearer than anything he's heard in much too long.
Strong hands unstrap him and attempt to get him into a sitting position. Bucky
blinks away the fog from his vision and stares up, sees Steve's face.
“Steve,” he gasps, “Steve!”
“I thought you were dead.” Steve still sounds distraught and terrified. Bucky
wants to smile and tell him it's okay, but he can't even do that. He doesn't
know if this is real or not. A storm of things he desperately wants to say
unravels inside of him;
I love you.
I didn't think I'd ever see you again.
I didn't get to say goodbye.
I love you, I love you, alpha!
None of that manages to come out. His voice is strained and wet when he finally
speaks, “I thought you were smaller.”
Chapter End Notes
     this got away from me and now it'll have 6 chapters total
***** Four *****
Chapter Summary
     The war takes its toll.
Chapter Notes
     warning: mentions of possible rape
Thanks to a serum made by doctor Erskine, Steve's ailments have been cured and
he's massive. He has muscles to spare and is more popular than he's been in his
entire life. Everyone gapes at him wherever he goes and flirts with him
constantly. The chorus girls that travel from base to base gaze longingly at
him and make excuses to touch him. One even asks Steve if he can lift her on
his shoulder– he can.
Bucky feels worse than he ever has. He's happy that Steve is healthy but he's
horribly depressed because Steve isn't solely his anymore. He belongs to the
people that adore him; they finally see what Bucky's seen since they were kids
and are trying to take Steve away. The worst part is that Steve is letting it
happen. He doesn't seem to notice how much Bucky's suffering, how lonely he
feels. He's busy doing other things and doesn't treat Bucky like he used to. He
doesn't look at Bucky the same way. Bucky fears it's because of the blood that
stains him.
No one knows what was put inside of him and he only gives them the necessary
information. He refuses to elaborate because he's ashamed and scared of
remembering all of it. He's in pain all the time and some days he can barely
move. He's on bedrest and Steve insists that he sleep in his private quarters
and he does, but Steve is rarely there. Bucky doesn't know where he goes or
what he does but it hurts him all the same.
Bucky burns with an intense fever, his body attempts to sweat out whatever
virus is inside of him. He's soaked with sweat and almost completely out of it.
Shadows dance at the edges of his vision and he's petrified of the emptiness
around him. What if the scientists come back for him? He won't be able to stop
them from hurting him again.
“James?” Peggy Carter pokes her head into the room and her eyebrows furrow at
his quivering form. “May I come in?”
“Yes’m.” He mumbles and she walks in, locks the door behind her. She pulls up a
chair from Steve's small drafting table and sits down beside the bed.
“You're not doing well.” She says and her voice is kind, worried. “May I touch
you?”
“Yeah.” She reaches over and presses her cool hand to his forehead. “Mm.” He
sighs. It's been so long since he's felt a truly caring touch.
“Have you been stay hydrated? With the rate you're losing fluids you could
dehydrate very quickly.”
“I, it hurts. I throw up.”
“I know lovey, but you need to. It's very important.” He likes the way she
calls him lovey. It settles over him like a soft blanket. “You also need to
eat.” Bucky whimpers at the idea of forcing food into his system. “Even just
biscuits. You need food.”
“Will, will it get better? Am I broken?” Peggy looks incredibly sad.
“No you're not broken. You're recovering from a traumatic event and you will
get better. You can do it lovey. I'll help you and so will Steve.” Bucky makes
a pathetic noise. Steve… “What is it?”
“D’you know where Steve is? Haven't, haven't seen him all day.”
“I believe he's strategizing right now. Possibly helping send the chorus girls
on their way.” Bucky's vision swims. “Oh James, it's alright. He's not far.”
“He won't– he isn't– I don't think he wants me anymore.” He admits.
“Why is that?”
“He doesn't spend time with me, look at me much, or touch me. He, he isn't too
keen on me.”
“I don't think that's the case. Up until we came here he spoke of you nonstop.”
“And now?” Peggy sighs and confirms his fears. “He's gonna find a good omega,
ain't he? A pretty girl to give him pups. She'll have his mark and he'll want
to knot her. He'll actually want her.” Unwelcome tears slide down his cheeks.
“She'll be sweet and good; not rough and dark like me.” Peggy wipes away his
tears and makes a cajoling noise.
“Lovey, no. He loves you so much and would never choose another.”
“I, I dunno if that's true. M’not sure he even wants me.” Bucky sobs. “There's
pretty gals and they're right. They're s’pposed to be omegas, m’not. He can
knot them, not me.” Bucky's stomach turns. “I gotta, can we go outside?” He
asks and looks up at her, silently begging.
“Of course. We can go for a little walk.” Peggy helps him out of bed and holds
his arm to steady him as they leave the room. She brings him out of the bunker
and to the tents. The air is stuffy and thick but it's better than being alone
in Steve's room. “Feeling a little better?”
“Yeah, thanks Peggy.” Her alpha scent is more than calming and he feels safe.
“I didn't mean to explode like that.”
“You needed to get that out.” Peggy rubs his arm and he sighs. “Don't worry
yourself lovey, everything will turn out just fine.”
“Bucky!” Steve's voice reaches them before he does. When he comes into view
Bucky starts to tremble.
“It's alright James. You're okay.” Peggy says sweetly. Steve's eyebrows furrow
when he sees the state Bucky's in.
“I was looking all over for you.” Steve is staring at him so intensely it
burns. “You okay?”
“He just needed some air.” Peggy says and Steve notices her hand around Bucky's
bicep. His eyes narrow briefly and Peggy starts to loosen her grip. Bucky
whines and she croons at him. “Your alpha wants some time with you, lovey. I'll
be around.” The name makes Steve freeze a little. “Steven, come here and hold
him up; he's feeling rather unsteady today.”
“Sure.” Steve comes over and replaces Peggy at his side. Bucky openly purrs and
leans into him. He's starved for Steve's everything.
“I'll see you boys later.” Peggy says and walks away. Steve turns him and takes
both of his biceps. He looks into Steve's eyes and whines.
“What's wrong, Buck? Why'd you leave with Peggy?”
“It doesn't matter.”
“No– I'm not letting you do that again. Tell me Bucky.” Steve's alpha voice
makes him burst into tears. “Omega.” Steve gasps. He picks Bucky up like he's
nothing and Bucky melts against his chest. He hides his face against Steve's
neck and takes shaky breaths. “I'm not mad, baby. I promise I'm not.” Steve
carries him back to the bunker and brings him to his quarters. He locks the
door and sits on the bed with Bucky still attached to him. “It's okay sugar.”
“No Steve, it's not. It's not!”
“What is it?”
“Do you, do you want them?” Bucky asks. “The good omegas?” Steve starts rubbing
his back and rocking him like a child.
“No, no baby. You're the only omega that I'll ever want. You're what I need,
Bucky.” Steve kisses the top of his head and he hiccups through another sob.
“You're a good omega, you're more than good. You're amazing, you're perfect!”
Bucky can't make himself believe him.
“You're, you're always with them. You never, you don't touch me or look at me!”
He wants to separate himself from Steve but he also wants to stay right there,
possibly get even closer. “This is the most you've touched me since you found
me! I, I know I'm dirty now and I've done terrible things, but I–” love you
most, “you promised you'd keep me.” Steve holds him tightly and trembles
horribly.
“God Buck, I was– I am– scared! I didn't think you wanted me! You never wanted
me to change and now… now I'm completely different. I'm not the guy you fell
for.” Bucky shakes his head.
“No, no, I don't care what you look like. Big or small, blond or brunet, it
don't matter! I want you however you come!” Bucky cries. “But you want better,
you should have better. You always could do better and I was lucky you chose
me, but now you see it. And you're leavin’ me.”
“I only stayed away 'cuz I thought you wouldn't want me. Then I found out what
you'd gone through and I didn't think you'd want anyone to touch you.” Bucky
pushes off of Steve and lands on the floor, his eyes wide and panicked. “Are
you okay?”
“Do you– you think I got knotted?” Bucky asks and Steve opens his mouth only to
shut it again. Bucky puts his head between his knees and takes shaky breath.
“Oh god, you think I fucked someone else!”
“No! You won't let anyone examine you so maybe, god Bucky, maybe you were
forced into something.” Steve chokes a little. “We all think you could've been
raped.” Bucky's head shoots up.
“Who the hell is 'we’?” He demands. Steve flinches. “Tell me!”
“The docs and some of the guys.”
“You've been talking about me?”
“I'm your alpha, I'm tryin’ to keep you safe.”
“You think someone got here first,” Bucky hisses, “so you're throwing me away.”
Steve looks horrified.
“No! You're completely wrong! Even if you were raped it wasn't your fault and I
wouldn't abandon you!”
“I wasn't raped!” Bucky screams. He's certain that the others in the bunker can
hear him and he doesn't care. So what if he adds some more shame to what he
already has? It's not like they don't all know already. “I had my heat there
but I fought them. I fought them Steve, because I'm yours. Even if you won't
knot me, I'm yours! I would never let them have me!” Steve is crying, albeit
silently.
“I believe you.” Steve whispers. “I believe you, Bucky.”
“You never asked me what happened, you just talked to everyone else. I get that
you were scared but you– you left me all by myself!”
“Buck,”
“You told me to stay here and I did because I don't feel safe with anyone else.
I'm scared that they're gonna come back for me when I'm alone, so I want to be
where you can keep me safe. But, but you're not there. You're never there! I'm
always alone!”
“I'm so sorry, baby I'm sorry.” Steve is still whispering. Bucky's never heard
him be this quiet in all the time they've known each other. “I just, I didn't
know what to do.”
“Look at me Steve.” Bucky says and Steve does, but his gaze is full of pain and
pity. “Do you see your omega or a war prisoner that needs help?”
“I see you, Buck.”
“That's not an answer.”
“You’ve been through so much that I'll never understand but I'm trying to. Tell
me Bucky, please.”
“You’re gonna report back to everyone.” Bucky murmurs. His fight has drained
out of him quickly. “S’no point.”
-
Bucky's fever breaks for a few hours each day, and he spends those hours
practicing his combat skills. He forces himself to improve his sniping and
works on his blade skills, he starts keeping one holstered to his thigh and
tucked in one of his boots. He refuses to be completely unarmed anymore.
“You're gonna kill yourself, Barnes.” Dugan, one of his squadron members says
and squats down on the ground beside him. Bucky's been doing push-ups for half
an hour. “You've gotta stop.”
“I'm fine.”
“I know ya don't sleep and ya don't eat enough.”
“We're on rations, Dugan. None of us are.” Dugan rolls his eyes.
“Don't be a smartass. You're not as sly as you think; everyone sees that you're
pushing yourself way past your limit.”
“Cap tell you that?”
“He's your alpha, you don't havta call him that.”
“If I agree to take a break will ya stop mother-henning me?” Bucky snaps and
Dugan only sighs.
“You work yourself to death, we'll be the ones to bury you here.”
-
“Bucky, can I talk to you for a minute?” Steve asks quietly. Bucky nods and
follows him to his quarters. It's been a few weeks since he's been alone with
Steve so his body isn't used to his overwhelming scent. It's surprising that he
managed to forget so easily.
“What is it?” Bucky hates how weak he sounds. He's been working hard to build
himself up but around Steve he can't hide a thing.
“I'm starting a team and I want you on it.” Steve murmurs. “You're the best
sniper in the field and you're great in combat.”
“Okay.”
“You'll do it?”
“Yeah.” Bucky says and stands there awkwardly. He can tell Steve wants to say
something and he's hoping that it's a confession that he wants Bucky back. He
needs Steve so much but he can't say it in case Steve doesn't want him too.
“Please.” Steve croaks. “Please Bucky– I know I was stupid but I need you.
You're, you're my omega. I've loved you for so long, it's always been you. I've
never wanted anyone other than you. Please don't leave me.”
“Alpha!” Bucky says and launches himself at Steve hard enough to send them
flying into the wall. There's a small indent left from the impact, but Steve
doesn't so much as flinch. “Alpha, Stevie, I love you, I love you..”
“My sweet omega. I'll never let anyone hurt you, not even myself. You're mine
to love and protect and that's all. Mine.”
“Yours.” Steve's arousal comes unexpectedly, the scent hitting him like an
uppercut to the jaw. Bucky sags against him and mews into his neck, licking and
sucking. Steve's noises are gentle and so, so sweet.
“I love you Bucky.”
“I love you too.” Bucky mumbles and nuzzles Steve's neck. “I love you.”
“I need you, god Buck let me, please..”
“Yes.”
Steve takes Bucky on the small cot in the corner of the room, their clothes
open just enough for Steve to get his fingers inside Bucky and for Bucky to
hold Steve's cock, stroking it and squeezing his knot. He doesn't ask to be
marked or knotted because that's not where it's going to happen. They're going
to go home and start a family, they won't rush their first time. It's not going
to be like this.
Steve mouths Bucky's neck, tells him how much he loves him and how he'll never
leave him again. Bucky knows it's true now. He cums crying Steve's name and
Steve nips at his neck, almost breaking the skin, when he does.
Later, Bucky promises to follow Steve into the jaws of death and beyond.
-
The Howling Commandos are a well oiled, finely tuned machine. Lead by Steve– or
Captain America– they're a group of men just daring enough to go into dangerous
partially unauthorized missions. Bucky and Steve lead the charge and fight side
by side, watching each other's back like second nature.
They steal the moments after successful missions for themselves; that
adrenaline induced haze is full of fumbling hands and desperate kisses. Though
they pretend to be fully confident that they'll both make it out they feel the
urgency of the situation and do whatever they can to feel each other for just a
little bit longer.
“When we get back,” Steve says against Bucky's shoulder, “we’ll get a better
place and have pups. It'll be perfect, Buck.” Bucky nods, his hips churning
into the motions of Steve's hand. They're camped out for the night and pressed
close in the small tent. Steve is warm against the bitter cold, Bucky's shield
against the world. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Bucky murmurs, tries to keep his moans quiet. It's partly
because he doesn't want to give up their position and also because this is just
theirs. The fighting and the teamwork, that's shared. But this alone time is
purely their own. “Alpha, lemme, can I taste your knot?” He asks weakly and
Steve groans. “Please?”
“Yeah sugar, s’yours.” Bucky shimmies down their bedroll and pushes Steve's
pants and boxers lower. He licks the purpling head of Steve's cock and kisses
down the length of it. Steve pets his hair and urges him on. Bucky kisses his
knot and he chokes, Bucky starts to suckle at his knot and moans at the taste.
He licks everywhere that he can reach then pushes Steve's cock up so he can
lick the underside. “Ah lord, Buck. Come on up here baby, sugar come on.” Bucky
pulls away with a whine that's quickly pushed away when Steve pulls him up and
pushes his hand between Bucky's thighs. He's wet with slick and leaking
steadily.
“Alpha,”
“I know.” Steve parts his thighs and slips his cock in between them. He rocks
his hips back and forth slowly, his knot slipping and catching. “Baby, my
beautiful boy. You're so good omega. You're amazing.” Steve pushes two of his
fingers into Bucky's soaking hole and massages places that make him arch and
keen. “So sweet. You're, you're my sugar. My sweetheart.”
Bucky pants and latches onto Steve's neck, suckling fast. Steve moans and nods.
“That's it, good boy, keep goin’ baby.” Bucky clamps his thighs tight and gives
Steve less room to thrust so that he remains close. “Sugar, you're so
gorgeous.”
“Please cum.” Bucky begs and licks his throat. “Need it, please baby,”
“Suck.” Bucky suckles on his throat and moans when Steve cums between his
thighs. Steve pulses through the aftershocks and makes Bucky cum only seconds
later. “Only you, omega.”
“Only you, alpha.”
-
Every mission they go on is incredibly dangerous, but something about this is
one is more terrifying than the others. Zip lining down to a moving train feels
off to Bucky and he knows there's no other way to go about this so he doesn't
say anything. Before they go down Steve kisses Bucky and they nose at each
other's scent glands for a quick second.
It's an ambush from the start. Everything about the mission feels rushed and
unplanned. He and Steve are faced with a war machine, a monstrous thing with
one intention– to stop them from advancing. While Steve fights the machine
Bucky deals with an armed soldier. Bucky runs out of bullets and Steve manages
to lose the machine to get his gun to him. They end up side by side, Steve
protects them both with his shield and Bucky shoots the soldier. The victory is
short lived; the machine breaks through the barrier and enters where they are.
The machine’s arms are canons and too powerful to battle on their own. It
shoots Steve's shield and throws him into a corner of the train, knocking the
shield out of his hands. “Alpha!” Bucky shrieks, blind panic overtaking him. He
rushes to pick up the shield and protect Steve, but the machine is too fast.
One well placed shot sends Bucky out of the train. He manages to grab onto a
rail on the side and struggles to hold on.
He feels weak and helpless again, all of his training worthless. They're going
to win; Bucky and Steve will be separated. It wasn't supposed to be like this–
they promised!
“Bucky!” Steve appears beside him in the gaping hole in the train. He's too far
to touch. “Grab my hand!” Steve reaches out and Bucky sobs, grabbing
desperately. “Come on Buck, please!” Steve wails. The wind howls around them
and knocks Bucky's hand back, makes his body sway. The metal rail starts to
give and they hear the awful sound of it wrenching away from the train at the
same time. “Oh god– sugar, you've gotta push! Hurry Bucky!”
“Steve, Steve I'm sorry!” He wasted so much time being stubborn and afraid. Now
it's all caught up to him.
“No!” Steve lurches forward and gets their hands the slightest bit closer. “You
will not leave me! I didn't say you could!” Steve's voice is full on alpha and
so powerful it echoes through his body. “Now Bucky!” Bucky uses all of his
strength to reach and their fingers brush.
The rail breaks away and Bucky falls. Steve's anguished cry chases him down,
cradling him in place of his alpha's arms.
***** Five *****
Chapter Summary
     The Asset is born.
Chapter Notes
     Note: Bucky is referred to as 'It' for most of the chapter because
     he's an asset, therefore not really considered a person
There was nothing before this– at least It doesn't think there was, not that It
really thinks, is allowed to think.
It’s looking at the target Nicholas Joseph Fury through the scope of It’s
rifle, waiting for the moment to strike. He's cleverly avoided the Asset once
already but he won't escape now. Fury has gotten himself cornered in an
unprotected apartment building; it gives It a good vantage point and a direct
shot through the window. It doesn't see why Fury made such a strategically poor
choice– he wants to remain alive, that much has been proven already, but now
he's trapped himself? It doesn't make sense. It's almost like he's given up,
which doesn't make sense either. He had such fight in him only hours ago.
A blond man appears, a shield in hand. It doesn't recognize him at all so It
disregards him. Nicholas Fury looks peaceful but the Asset can tell that he
isn't. There's no way a man in his situation can be peaceful. The injuries he's
sustained would be enough to put him on edge, but Fury knows he's being tailed
most definitely which is frightening in itself. If the Asset were any other
creature It would get bored with the waiting, but It doesn't have the capacity
for boredom.
The Asset gets a clean shot and takes it, shooting out the window and filling
Fury with bullets. Once the target is dead It stands up and turns on It’s heel,
sprinting away.
It has a pursuer.
There's no doubt that it's the man with the shield, but that is of little
importance. It's dodged more dangerous enemies before. The Asset runs across
the roofs of buildings and is almost in the clear when the man’s shield slices
through the air, hurtling towards It. It turns and catches the shield with It’s
cybernetic arm, throws it back hard enough to wrench the arm a bit and send the
man skidding back.
It disappears into the night.
-
There was nothing before this, at least It doesn't think so. The mission is to
get rid of the informant, a threat to the new order. It watches from the inside
of the armoured car as the vehicle with the target in it speeds down the
highway.
“You ready, Asset?” The Handler asks and touches It with the butt of his gun.
It climbs out of the back window of the car and onto the hood, trained to
spring. The car acts as a battering ram and the driver slams it into the back
of the target’s car, forces them forward. The Asset dives onto the back of the
car and breaks through the back passenger side, yanks the target free. It
throws him across the highway and starts shooting through the roof to eliminate
everyone inside. The man driving yanks on the brakes, sending the Asset
skidding across the highway. It reaches out and digs It's cybernetic fingers
into the concrete, dragging itself to a halt. It stands up and waits, the
handler’s car smashing into the back of the silver car and pushing it forward.
The Asset dives onto the hood and yanks the steering wheel out, jumps back onto
the handler's car.
The silver car smashes into the guardrail and the three passengers skid out on
a shield. “It's Rogers!” The blond, Rogers, takes a defensive stance and holds
his shield up; the woman and black man run. The Asset is given an assault
weapon with a rocket launcher on it and aims, fires at the shield. Rogers goes
flying and the Asset takes aim at the woman. She runs and flips over the rail,
making the Asset work to find her. It looks over the rail, weapon trained on
the street below, and scans the surrounding area for her.
A bullet hits It's goggles and It ducks, takes them off, and fires down. It
will be punished for letting her get one over on It because It isn't supposed
to leave any room for a head shot. If the Asset is damaged by a blow to It’s
head, maintenance will be difficult or impossible depending on the severity. It
leaps off of the highway and lands on a car underneath while the strike team
sprays bullets into the bus that Rogers landed in. The Asset follows the woman
with his weapon trained on her but loses her. It'll be punished for that
mistake.
The next few minutes are a blur of red hair, electricity, and bullets. It
manages to get rid of the woman, but Rogers soon becomes a threat. He appears
and starts to fight It with abandon, like a man with no fear of death. Even
those who knew that death was inevitable had more preservation instincts than
this man does.
They get in close quarters and Rogers starts to give it his all. It makes more
mistakes than is acceptable and can already feel one of the machines digging
into It’s skin. There is no pattern to this fight which makes Rogers' next
moves hard to predict. Rogers manages to deflect every knife swipe and avoid
impact with It’s cybernetic arm. It becomes frustrated with Rogers’ persistence
and goes in for the kill, which turns into yet another mistake. Rogers get his
hands on it and flips It to the ground, causing the muzzle to fall off. The
sound of the metal against the concrete bounces inside of It’s mind.
It turns around, ready to fight again, and finds Rogers staring at It in
disbelief. “Bucky?” The recognition, shock, and heartbreak in his voice sends
ripples of a faraway feeling through It’s body. Something isn't right.
It can smell something; burnt brown sugar and smoke. The scent is familiar but
strange. There's a tang of distress running through it that makes the Asset
want to curl up and, and– It doesn't know. There's no instinct inside of It
that guides It. It's missing something, something very important.
“Who the hell is Bucky?” It’s voice is strained from disuse. The look in
Rogers’ eyes is devastation in its purest form. It lifts It’s gun and tries to
take a shot but Its hand is trembling horribly. There's a hesitation that has
never been there before. It can kill in seconds and yet right now It can't pull
the trigger.
The blast from the rocket launcher creates enough smoke and fire for It to
disappear into thin air.
-
A train, a bitter cold wind biting flesh, blood in white snow, the sound of a
bone saw, metal against skin, ice. There are snippets of a life It doesn't
remember floating through Its mind, the force of them snapping Its head back
and forth. There's a hurt inside of Its chest that feels like nothing It's ever
experienced. It snaps and sends a technician flying across the room. The agents
stationed by the door aim their guns at It.
“Mission report.”
Nothingness. The cold of a frost It can't remember ever experiencing.
“Mission report, now.” It has no voice so It can't answer. What is there to
say, when nothing seems real? Pierces smacks It hard across the face and jump-
starts It once more.
“The man on the bridge.” It rasps. “Who was he?” Pierce hesitates.
“You met him earlier this week on another assignment.” Wrong– this isn't the
truth.
“I knew him.” That's for certain. That man was definitely someone to It.
Him.
It, the asset, is a he. It– he– is starting to remember things about himself.
He is a person and not a weapon. Why is he here? Who is he?
“Your work has been a gift to mankind. You shaped this century, and I need you
to do it one more time. Society is at a tipping point between order and chaos.
Tomorrow morning we're gonna give it a push. But if you don't do your part, I
can't do mine, and HYDRA can't give the world the freedom it deserves.”
No. He can't breathe under the weight of the things he doesn't know and might
never know.
“But I knew him.” Pierce stands up and turns to one of the scientists. He knows
that he's made another mistake.
“Prep him.”
“He's been out of cryo-freeze too long.”
“Then wipe him and start over.” Pierce leaves and he's forced back into the
chair. A scientist puts a bite guard into his mouth and he chomps down on it.
The chair locks around his arms and the head piece snaps on, electric currents
flooding into him.
The memories of who he used to be disappear with his screams.
-
The Captain stands opposite It on the catwalk, staring at It with something
like desperation in his eyes. “People are gonna die, Buck. I can't let that
happen.” It stares at him, no recognition and no regard for the situation.
“Please don't make me do this.” It stands there waiting for what's to come.
The Captain throws his shield at it and It manages to avoid being hit. The
Captain scrambles to get to the control panel but It is ruthless. It attacks,
sensing The Captain’s every move. He's being sloppy and leaving room for the
Asset to strike. Something tells It that he doesn't usually fight this way.
They grapple and It stabs him in the shoulder and knocks the chip from his
hands. It grabs the chip and The Captain dives, attacking him in an attempt to
get it back. It stabs him but he manages to get the upper hand and get a hold
on him.
“Drop it! Drop it!” The Captain yells but it refuses. They struggle for what
feels like decades and The Captain breaks It’s arm. It howls but doesn't drop
the chip. The Captain gets his arm around It’s neck and holds until It passes
out, dropping the chip.
It isn't down for long. It gets up and shoots him multiple times but it's no
use; he gets the chip in and the carrier shakes after it gets hit. It gets
trapped under a fallen metal fixture and fights to free itself. The metal is
too heavy for It to lift and panic sets in. Then, against all odds, The Captain
helps It lift the structure off of It. They get to their feet and It dives,
punches him hard enough to make him stagger.
“You know me.” The Captain says in a voice that leaks exhaustion and remnants
of hope.
“No I don't!” It screams and attacks again, only knocking him back.
“Bucky, you've known me your whole life.” It hits him and much to It’s fury,
The Captain doesn't fight back. “Your name is James Buchanan Barnes.” It's head
starts to ache horribly and It trembles. It hits him again and he doesn't fight
back. Why?
Fight back!
Fight back! Instead of yelling that It shrieks. “Shut up!” The Captain removes
his helmet and drops his shield through a hole in the carrier.
Stop it, It thinks, you're being an idiot. Stop it– fight back!
“I'm not gonna fight you. You're my– my friend.” It tackles him to the ground.
“You're my mission.” It growls and starts to beat him. Flashes of things that
he can't make sense of pass through his vision and It fights them away with
every punch he drives into The Captain's face.
Wake up, a voice within It sobs, don't do this! Not to him– stop it!
It fractures like broken glass, cracks running through until he is left. He can
smell burned brown sugar and smoke and death. His nose burns from the strength
of it all.
“Then finish it.” The Captain says in a ragged voice. He holds his fist up and
suddenly can't bring it down. “'Cause I'm with you til the end of the line.”
No.
Steve!
The blood on his hands can't be Steve's. He can't have caused this. Before he
can do anything, the bottom of the carrier drops out and Steve falls. He–
Bucky, Bucky– hangs onto a piece of the carrier and is frozen in place,
watching.
He's falling through the snow, Steve is headed towards the water.
“Alpha!” Bucky screams and jumps after him. Steve is already under by the time
he reaches the surface but he bobs under and grabs him by his uniform. He gets
them above water and drags Steve to the shore, lies him flat on his back.
“Alpha.” He gasps, tears and water choking him. “Alpha, I'm sorry. I'm so
sorry,” Steve lies there, unresponsive. Bucky knows that he can't possibly stay
there if he wants to survive, even though the pull of the bond between them
makes him want to fall to his knees and shield him with his own body. The body
that hurt him in the first place.
He watches Steve's chest rise and fall for a few minutes. Once he's confident
that Steve is breathing, he swallows the anguish building inside of him and
hobbles away.
-
The exhibit at the Smithsonian feels wrong. There are missing pieces in it and
Bucky still doesn't know exactly what they are. He looks at the clip of him and
Steve laughing and smiling at each other and wishes he could remember what made
them so happy. Was it just being around each other that kept them positive in
an impossible situation? It hurts to think about.
Bucky stares at his own face until his vision blurs from tears. He decides to
keep the image of Steve's smiling face as his first true memory.
***** Six *****
Chapter Summary
     Wakanda gets a new family.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Staring at himself in the mirror and seeing the swell of his stomach makes
Bucky happier than anything. Bucky adores how much the baby is showing and how
soft he feels. Something in him is changing and growing along with the baby;
he's become a different person, someone better. He finally feels more
comfortable in his own skin.
 
The pregnancy has made him a lot calmer. He isn't constantly on edge anymore
and now he's able to relax. Steve has been taking advantage of the change and
sneaks up on him whenever he can; he especially loves coming up from behind him
and holding him close to his chest. Bucky loves feeling the warmth of his chest
and he can almost feel the baby responding as well. They both love Steve so
much.
 
At around three months, Bucky starts to experience the full effect of
pregnancy. The serum delayed it for a time but it managed to catch up to him.
He starts to feel nauseous constantly and his body aches. Steve does his best
to confine him to bed but it doesn't necessarily work; Bucky has to move around
or he'll go insane. Steve is there whenever he feels like moving and supports
him with an arm around his waist or even outright carrying him.
 
Today is a carrying sort of day. Bucky is restless and he wants to move but
Steve is too worried to let him walk. It's sweet that he's so worried but Bucky
is restless and stiff.
 
“Steve,” Bucky whines, “I need to walk by myself.” Steve sighs.
 
“We've been over this Buck. Doctor Hodari thinks you should rest as much as you
can and because you don't want to stay in bed, this is our only option.” Steve
replies. Bucky can't help the noise of discontent that slips out. “Sugar, you
have to listen to him.”
 
“I'm stiff. The baby is stiff.” Bucky tries to persuade him even though he
knows that Steve isn't going to give in. “Alpha..”
 
“Don't ‘alpha’ me. You have to relax.”
 
“I'm goin’ crazy here!” For once he doesn't care how petulant he sounds. “I
need to walk around. I'm not talkin’ stealth missions or going on a run- I just
wanna walk.”
 
“I'm really serious about this Buck.” Steve sounds so worried; it hurts him to
the core. “I can't have either of you getting hurt. I don't what I'd do..”
Bucky reaches up and cups Steve’s cheek with his new hand. The synthetic skin
is warm and soft, so he isn't afraid to touch Steve with it anymore. Steve
nuzzles his palm.
 
“Alpha, we're not gonna get hurt. You know I'll be careful and you'll be with
me the whole time. Nothing's gonna happen.” Steve bites his lip.
 
“Buck…”
 
“I promise.” He says and rests his cheek on Steve’s chest. After a few minutes
of deliberation Steve nods and puts him down. Bucky shakes himself out and
takes Steve’s hand. “Thank you alpha.” Bucky smiles at him and Steve smiled
back.
 
“I’ll never be able to resist that smile.”
 
“The baby’s gonna have the same one, I can feel it.” Steve groans, completely
exaggerated.
 
“How will I handle two of you?”
 
“Just for that I'm gonna teach them all of my tricks.” He teases. “You'll never
know what hit ya.” Steve snarls.
 
“Bring it on.”
 
-
 
There's a cartoon about a mouse doing ballet on and for some reason, it's
making Bucky weep. He's seen it a dozen times in the past two weeks and it
makes him cry just as hard every time. Steve looked horrified the first time he
started wailing but now he's gotten pretty good at calming him down.
 
“I just want our baby to have one. Myshka should have a mouse that can do all
that!” Bucky shouts and points at the tv. “Myshka deserves the best and I wanna
give them that mouse!” Steve struggles not to laugh and strokes Bucky’s hair.
 
“S’okay sugar. We’ll get Myshka all kinds of great stuff.”
 
“A mouse.” Bucky demands. “A mouse that knows ballet.”
 
“I’ll see what I can do.”
 
“We've gotta ask T’Challa!” Bucky says and attempts to sit up. With his sore
muscles it's very difficult so Steve helps him. “He's gonna know where we can
find one!” Bucky gets off of the couch and Steve jumps up after him.
 
“Bucky, you're supposed to be resting. T’Challa insisted that you do and Doctor
Hodari said the same thing. We can ask about the mouse later.”
 
“Steve, we've gotta get this stuff ready. Myshka is gonna be here anytime now!”
 
“Sweetheart you're not even four months along yet. We have time.”
 
“We have to get them the mouse.” Bucky whimpers. “S’important.” Steve turns him
around and carefully pulls Bucky into a hug. Bucky whines and puts his nose
against Steve’s neck. He inhales his wonderful scent and starts to calm down a
bit. Steve always manages to talk him down from every ledge he finds himself
on. “We've gotta get Myshka everything.”
 
“I know sugar. We’ll get them everything we can find. I'm sure T’Challa will be
more than happy to help us out.” T’Challa has been surprisingly present
throughout his pregnancy. He's equip them all of the medical staff they need as
well as visits them and brings a ridiculous amount of gifts. Bucky thinks he's
secretly just as excited about the baby as they are.
 
“I wanna make a nest.” Bucky murmurs, a wave of exhaustion hitting him. “Can
you do it Stevie?”
 
“Of course.”
 
Bucky watches Steve collect blankets, pillows, sheets, and pretty much anything
cozy to pile on their bed. He arranges everything according to Bucky’s
directions and adjusts the canopy that T’Challa recently had installed,
replaces the thin drapes with sheets that smell like them. Steve even stuffs
the pillow cases with a few of his unwashed shirts so that Bucky is surrounded
by his scent. When he's finished the pillows are piled just high enough,
there's an extra layer of rumpled sheets, and blankets framing the area where
they'll sleep. Steve looks over to him for approval and Bucky nods eagerly.
They climb into bed and Steve draws the sheets, encasing them in the
comfortable scent. He curls up against Steve’s chest and sighs happily. Steve
licks at the scent glands on his neck until he's scenting the entire room.
 
Steve moves his hand to Bucky’s stomach and rubs gently. The shift in Bucky’s
body makes him think that the baby is shifting to get closer to Steve. He loves
when that happens because that's one of his traits, that need to be closer to
his alpha. Bucky mews and Steve makes a rumbling noise in response. “I think
Myshka is gonna be a beauty.” Steve says in the warmest tone. Bucky smiles and
nods.
 
“Boy or girl, we'll have a heartbreaker.”
 
“Just like their ma.” Steve teases. He laughs and shoves his feet between
Steve’s legs. He constantly craves heat; ever since he got away from Hydra he's
been desperate to stay constantly warm. He's terrified of the cold and will do
anything to keep away from it; Steve makes sure that it's never cold in their
home. It's never truly cold in Wakanda but sometimes frost latches onto him and
he can't differentiate between physical and mental cold. T’Challa has installed
a central heating and air conditioning system for such occasions.
 
“It's okay Buck.” Steve says. “If you're tired, you can sleep if you want to.
You know I'll be here.” Bucky hadn’t realized he'd been fighting sleep this
whole time.
 
“G’night alpha.” Bucky mumbles. Steve kisses the top of his head.
 
“Love you omega.”
 
-
 
Bucky has nightmares; they're few and far between but when they do come,
they're horrifying. He wakes up sobbing most of the time but there are times
when he screams his throat raw and Steve has to wake him before he hurts
himself. Ever since he found out he was pregnant he's been petrified that he'll
have a nightmare and hurt the baby. He's told Steve that if he's going into one
he has to wake him by any means necessary because he'd rather die than harm
their child. Steve doesn't like to hear it but Bucky makes sure that he knows
how serious he is.
 
There are nights, such as that night, when Bucky doesn't sleep. Recently he's
been remembering the various experiments Hydra performed on people, even
children. He can hear babies crying and people screaming for help all while he
stood there, helpless. He tried talking to Steve about it but he hated the deep
set worry in his eyes, so he goes it alone now.
 
It doesn't work well.
 
Bucky is woken up by knocking on the front door. He reaches to wake Steve and
remembers that Steve is out helping T’Challa with something or other and won't
be back for a few days. He groans and pushes himself out of bed slowly. Moving
around is much harder now because of how much his body is aching. He pads out
to the living room and checks the security camera. Wanda is standing on their
porch inspecting her fingernails. He's more than a little surprised to see her
because they've only spoken a handful of times.
 
“Bucky?” Wanda asks, her deep accent washing over him. She's a beta so she's
mastered the art of taming both alphas and omegas alike- Bucky is no different.
“Are you there?”
 
“Yeah, just a sec.” Bucky opens up the various locks with the screen and
unbolts the ones on the door. Wanda smiles sweetly at him and steps inside when
he allows her to. “Umm, hi.”
 
“Hi.” She pushes the sleeves of her sweater up. “I know this feels very random
but I promise I'm here for a reason.”
 
“Okay.”
 
“I know you're having trouble lately. I can feel all of the worry and I too am
feeling some.”
 
“Sorry. I really don't mean to bother anyone.” He says as he leads her over to
the couch. Wanda shakes her head.
 
“You're not, believe me. In fact you're being less of a bother than a person
who stubbed their toe.” He kind of adores the way she speaks. She's so young
and so sure of herself. From what he's heard her confidence is a work in
progress which makes it nicer to hear. “What I wanted to tell you is that
you're going to be a great mother.”
 
“Thank you but… that doesn't feel like it's part of this.” Bucky says and she
just smiles.
 
“I got ahead of myself. You're remembering bad things, yes?” Bucky nods.
 
“Hydra related.”
 
“They're about children?” Bucky narrows his eyes.
 
“Have you been looking into my mind?” She's quick to clarify.
 
“No, I would never do that without your explicit permission. I'm just piecing
things together. It's clear to me that you're regaining traumatic memories, and
I realized that they must be related to children because of your pregnancy.”
 
“You're a smart kid.” Bucky murmurs and Wanda snorts.
 
“Thanks.” She fiddles with her sleeve. “But I think that your fears are coming
to the surface in the form of memories. You were unable to help whoever is in
your memories so you fear you'll be helpless when it comes to your daughter.”
She says and Bucky freezes.
 
“Daughter?” Wanda seems to realize her mistake and pales.
 
“Oh crap!”
 
“You… do you think Myshka’s a girl?” Wanda nods slowly.
 
“You have a general aura around you. Males and females have distinct waves,
like you and Steve. Myshka has similar waves because she's your daughter, but
her waves are mostly female.” Bucky swallows thickly and blinks tears out of
his eyes.
 
“I, I… can you read her now?”
 
“You want me too?”
 
“Yes, please.” Wanda takes a deep breath and slowly puts her hands up.
 
“I'm going to have to get closer.”
 
“Go ahead.” She shifts closer and puts her hands over the swell of his stomach.
Red wisps flow out of her hands and she's silent for a few minutes. A bright
smile breaks out across her face. “What?”
 
“She's dreaming very peacefully.” She whispers, voice full of amazement. “But
she's still listening and responding in her own way. I'm confident she'll be
moving around very, very soon.” Bucky can't help but cry.
 
“She's happy?”
 
“Extremely.”
 
-
 
Wanda takes on a big role in his life. She essentially guards him whenever
Steve isn't around and comes to visit him every day for hours at a time. Bucky
grows very close to her and she becomes like a sister to him, even more so when
she tells him about Myshka- who now has an actual name; Rosie. The bigger Rosie
gets, the easier it is for Wanda to read her. Between T’Challa’s medical staff
and Wanda, Bucky and Steve learn a lot about Rosie very quickly.
 
By the fifth month of Bucky’s pregnancy, Bucky starts to get extremely horny.
He's all over Steve whenever he gets the chance. Steve is more than willing to
go along with it at first, but when Bucky starts trying to jump him he has to
put the brakes on. He cuddles, kisses, and touches Bucky as much as he wants
but he won't have sex with him.
 
It's driving Bucky insane.
 
Bucky’s been kissing Steve for half an hour and Steve has done nothing but put
his hand on Bucky’s hip. He wants Steve more than he can take and Steve won't
give in. He's aching for him, desperation having long since set in. Bucky rolls
his hips against Steve’s and whines. “Steve, alpha, please?” Steve sighs.
 
“No, Buck.”
 
“Please? God alpha I need you.” He kisses Steve’s jaw. “пожалуйста?” Steve
groans and shakes his head with a pained expression. Bucky’s playing dirty and
he knows it; Steve is weak for Bucky speaking different languages. “я тебя
хочу…”
 
“Come on sugar, you know we can't. I could hurt Rosie.” Doctor Hodari warned
them that because of the serum mixed with the pregnancy Bucky’s body is extra
sensitive so sex is off the table. When they found that out, Bucky didn't think
it would be a problem but now he's ready to cry from how much he needs sex.
Bucky whines again and noses along Steve’s scent glands. “Sweetheart, no.”
 
“I need you, alpha. Please just touch me. Touch me…”
 
“I am touching you.”
 
“Lasă-mă să aveți.” He moans. “Atinge-ma…” Bucky licks Steve’s shoulder and
shifts his hips, knocking his hard cock against Steve’s. “Please alpha?”
 
“Bucky, don't make this harder than it already is. You know how much I want
you.” Steve sounds raw and hurt, like he wants it just as badly as Bucky does.
 
“I'm sweeter now, aren't I?” He purrs. “I smell like a good, kept, omega. I'm
in my little nest and scenting the entire house. Everything smells like your
pregnant mate. I'm a mated omega- your omega.” Steve’s breathing is starting to
get shakier.
 
“Baby please…”
 
“I'm nice and sweet, aren't I? I'm wet for you.” Bucky murmurs and takes
Steve’s hand. He slips it into the back of his pants and briefs, past his
cleft. He's wet but not leaking yet, which could change very soon. Steve
instinctively rubs a finger against his rim. His breath hitches and he puts his
face in Steve’s neck. Steve’s scent is thick with arousal and clots in his
nose. His head spins and he mewls. “Oh alpha..”
 
“Sweetheart, don't do this to me. I want you so much but I can't. I can't risk
hurting the two of you, baby I just can't!” Steve’s voice is full of agony and
it makes Bucky stop. He lets Steve take his hand back and slumps against his
solid chest.
 
“M’sorry.” He mumbles. “I'm just so goddamn horny. I'm wet all the time and so
hard, I'm scenting like I'm in heat. I dunno what to do.” He'd ask Doctor
Hodari about it, but after the sex talk they already had it’d be embarrassing.
Steve surprises him by slipping his hand down the front of his pants. He palms
Bucky’s cock over top of his briefs and Bucky moans loudly. “Alpha?”
 
“I'm not going to knot or have sex with you, but that doesn't mean I won’t
touch you. Now that I know how bad this has been for you I can't just ignore
it. You've got needs, sugar, and I'm your alpha.” Steve kisses his forehead.
“Take your pants off for me baby.” Bucky nods and pushes pushes down his pants
and briefs then shimmies them off of him so that he can kick them onto the
floor. “Good boy.”
 
“I love you alpha.” Bucky whimpers and Steve takes his cock in hand. He strokes
him evenly, his thumb running across the slit. He moans and moves his hips with
the motion of his hand. “Oh god, alpha, Steve- please don't stop. Please don't
stop!”
 
“Don't worry, omega. I won't.” Steve speeds up his strokes and Bucky nibbles on
his neck, tasting the arousal spilling off of him. He moans Steve’s name over
and over until his throat aches. His cock throbs and his stomach tenses from
the need to cum. “Mm you're my sweet boy, my perfect omega. You're giving me
everything I've ever wanted. I love you so much.”
 
“S-Steve!” He sobs. His muscles tense and he cranes his neck to make what he
wants clear. Steve moves back just enough to get his mouth over top of his bond
mark.
 
“Cum, omega.” Steve says and latches onto the mark. Bucky cums the second
Steve’s teeth sink in and frantically rubs it into Steve’s skin.
 
“Don't wash it off.” Bucky orders weakly. Steve chuckles and kisses his mark.
 
“Not until you tell me to.”
 
-
 
By the seventh month, Rosie has pretty much doubled in size. She moves around
constantly and it gives Bucky more pain than he thought a baby could. He still
doesn't complain, not when he's wanted just that for his entire life, but that
doesn't make it fun. Steve and Doctor Hodari’s insistence on bed rest isn't
annoying anymore- now he insists on it and doesn't want to leave bed. That too
comes with more problems; his muscles are tense and aching, and his inner
glands are swollen so much that they're clogged with slick. The only solution
is to manually decrease the pressure and Bucky refuses to let anyone but Steve
near him.
 
Steve is between his spread thighs with a lubed finger inside of him. Normally
Bucky would get some sort of pleasure out of it but he's too sore to like it.
Every press of Steve’s finger sends jolts of pain up his spine and makes him
twist instinctively in an attempt to get away. He's gotten Steve’s head in a
death grip between his thighs multiple times in only twenty minutes. Thankfully
after a week of practice Steve can get out of his holds.
 
“S’loose enough!” Bucky whines and shifts his hips. It only causes Steve’s
finger to press harder into one of the glands and it really hurts. “Steve!”
 
“You're still very swollen, sugar. You know I have to help take the swelling
down.”
 
“It hurts..” Steve looks up at him with a sad expression. He knew that Steve
wasn't enjoying it either but he didn't know how much until right then. “How
much more?”
 
“I think that in a few more minutes you'll be good for today.” Steve pushes his
finger deeper and knocks against his prostate. There's a hint of pleasure there
and it mixes with the pain to create a shocking feeling. Bucky gasps and tries
his best to relax his body. He wants to work with Steve but it's so difficult.
“It's okay, sugar. I promise I'll be done soon.” Bucky tries his hardest to
remain still even though it really does hurt.
 
“Alpha please..”
 
“Can I lick you, omega?” Steve asks softly and Bucky’s eyes widen. Steve
flushes pink. “It'll help more because my tongue is already wet.”
 
“Okay.” Steve pulls his fingers out carefully and lowers himself. He licks
across Bucky’s hole a few times then slides his tongue in. Bucky whines loudly
and spreads his legs wider. Steve eats him out with slow strokes of his tongue
and gentle movements of his lips. After a few minutes Bucky’s hips start to
move and much to his surprise he starts to get hard. Steve speeds up his
strokes a little and Bucky gasps, back arching. “S-Steve,”
 
Slick starts to trickle onto Steve’s tongue and Bucky can feel the pressure
easing. He lies back on the mound of pillows beneath him and forces his
breathing to steady. Steve keeps going until Bucky’s cock is drooling precum
and slick is sliding out at a steadier rate. When he pulls away Bucky feels
just how much it helped- he doesn't feel as packed full as he did before. Steve
wipes his mouth and crawls up the bed to lie beside him. Steve rubs his palm
over Bucky’s bare shoulder and throat so that his scent transfers. Bucky
settles down and looks at Steve. His alpha is staring at him with an expression
so fond that it warms him from head to toe in under a minute. Rosie chooses
then to kick and Bucky huffs, surprised.
 
“She's feisty.” Steve says and smiles. Bucky takes his hand and rests it where
Rosie kicked. He starts to rub without being told to.
 
“Reminds me of you.” Bucky sighs. “Always lookin’ for a fight.”
 
“I can't say that you're wrong.” His alpha starts to massage his stomach with
caution. “But you've got a bite to ya too.” Bucky closes his eyes for a minute
and finds it difficult to open them again. He's never felt so tired or so safe,
least of all at the same time.
 
“No, I'm being good now.” Steve slides his thumb across his jaw and makes him
open his eyes. Steve’s eyes are warm despite how blue they are.
 
“You've always been good, Buck. Always.” He doesn't have the heart to fight
Steve on it. He can't tell Steve that there are still shadows clinging to his
edges or how he's still unsure about his place outside of them. Instead he lets
himself believe Steve because one day he'll be as good as Steve thinks he is,
as good as he truly wants to be.
 
-
 
Bucky goes into labour at three in the morning, two weeks earlier than
expected. Wanda is in their bedroom not ten minutes later and Steve is still in
a panic. He's running around the room like a hurricane and shoving random
things into a bag they don't need; the room T’Challa has waiting for them is
stocked with everything necessary, even things that aren't. Steve is freaking
out for absolutely no reason; it's very endearing. Wanda starts to help Bucky
up and Steve turns, a low growl slipping through his barely parted lips. She
doesn't startle, she continues to help him until Steve snaps out of his
overprotective haze.
 
Bucky outright refused the idea of being transported anywhere in a wheelchair
or anything other than walking, with the exception of being carried. Now it's
clear that being carried is going to cause him unnecessary pain. “Sugar,” Steve
starts and he shakes his head, silencing his alpha.
 
“I can't. Alpha I can't.” Bucky murmurs, more pleading than anything else.
Steve looks distraught and Wanda tries her best to channel calming energy.
Bucky presses his nose against Steve’s throat. “I can't.”
 
“You can't have her here, baby. It's not clean enough and we don't have the
team.”
 
“I, no I want, I can't move alpha. It hurts!” Steve looks to Wanda nervously.
 
“Wanda, can you try to set something up?” Steve asks quietly. “Maybe try and
bring someone here while I clean up?”
 
“Yeah, yeah I’ll do that.” Wanda dashes out of the room and Steve moves away
from him. As soon as his warmth leaves him Bucky starts sobbing.
 
“Don't leave me!” Bucky sobs hard. “Please Steve! Don't go again!” Steve runs
back to him and kisses all over his face, runs his hands along every place he
can reach without touching Bucky’s abdomen. “Steve,”
 
“I'm not going anywhere. I promise I'll never leave you or Rosie, never.” Steve
laps at his bond mark. “I'm always gonna be here, sugar. I promise you.”
 
“I love you..” Bucky whispers and shifts so that he's facing Steve as much as
he can. His contractions are getting closer together and Rosie is shifting
relentlessly. “Hurts, alpha,”
 
“It'll be better soon, sweetheart. You're gonna be okay.”
 
“I know.. I just, just want Rosie to be-” Bucky’s voice cracks when a sharp
contraction hits him and he grips the bedpost hard. He breathes through his
nose steadily and tries to focus on Steve’s hands that are all over him and his
scent. Steve smells like safety and family. He can feel Steve’s love for both
him and Rosie along with his instinctual urge to guard them from anyone who
comes along.
 
Doctor Hodari comes in with two nurses carrying supplies, T’Challa with one of
his guards, and Wanda. They set up as quickly as they can and Steve stays true
to his promise and doesn't leave his side. With the serum, Bucky will heal
fast, so the team has to work quickly to get Rosie out before the incision
closes itself. No anaesthesia will take away the pain unless it knocks him out
and he won't allow that, so the delivery will be difficult. He trusts Doctor
Hodari and his team so he's less worried than he normally would be.
 
It takes less than half an hour to perform the c-section. Doctor Hodari and his
team as well as T’Challa, his guard, and Wanda help in order to make it go as
quickly as smoothly as possible. Bucky is used to worse happening to his body
but the stress and Steve's nervous scent make it nearly impossible to remain
calm. He only relaxes when he hears Rosie’s shrill cry; he hates hearing her
distressed but it means that she's alive and alright. The doctor hands Rosie
over to Steve a few minutes later and cleans Bucky up. Once Bucky is able to
sit up a little Steve passes her to him.
 
Rosie has his blue-grey eyes and Steve’s blond hair; she looks like a perfect
mix of both of them. Rosie looks at both of them in confusion before she
settles against Bucky’s chest and reaches to hold one of his fingers. He feels
a sense of happiness that he never thought he could. He's alive, free, and
mated and given birth to a beautiful daughter. He's allowed to be happy without
the threat of it being ripped away or being punished.
 
“When do I get to hold her?” Wanda asks with a hint of impatience. Bucky can't
bring himself to pay any attention to anyone other than Rosie.
 
“I've been waiting for you for so long.” He murmurs. “You're here now. You're
safe- you'll always be safe.” He's so enamoured with her that he doesn't even
hear the squabble happening around him.
 
“I'm the king so I call first dibs.” T’Challa declares. Wanda glares at him.
 
“No way. I called first dibs months ago.”
 
“As king of this land, I'm revoking your dibs.”
 
“You can't do that!”
 
“Show me the law that says I can't.”
 
“I think we might have three kids now.” Steve whispers in his ear. Bucky
laughs, loud and hearty.
 
“A family.” He says, happiness leaking from every pore.
 
“A family.” Steve repeats and kisses Bucky’s head while taking Rosie’s hand.
“Our family.” He's never been happier.
Chapter End Notes
     This was super fun to write and I hope you've all enjoyed it.
     There'll definitely be more a/b/o fics in my future. Happy holidays!
     You can find me tumblr
End Notes
     You can reach me on tumblr
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