Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2129082.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/F, M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural_RPF, CW_Network_RPF
  Relationship:
      Jensen_Ackles/Jared_Padalecki, Katie_Cassidy/Lauren_Cohan, Danneel
      Harris/Adrianne_Palicki
  Character:
      Jensen_Ackles, Jared_Padalecki, Katie_Cassidy, Lauren_Cohan, Danneel
      Harris, Adrianne_Palicki, Chad_Michael_Murray
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Implied/Referenced_Molestation
  Series:
      Part 1 of Notes_of_Music
  Collections:
      Supernatural_and_J2_Big_Bang_2010
  Stats:
      Published: 2010-06-21 Chapters: 3/3 Words: 21397
****** As Notes of Music Are ******
by kiwiana
Summary
     Fifteen-year-old Jared Padalecki is a musical prodigy, but he is
     keeping a secret from his family that might tear them apart. When he
     joins the orchestra and meets the gorgeous concertmaster, Jared finds
     himself falling for more than just Jensen's music - the guy has
     really talented hands - and Jared is willing to risk everything to be
     with him.
Notes
     Written for Supernatural/J2 Big Bang 2010. Title is by Percy Bysshe
     Shelley. Detailed author's notes at the end. Amazing art by LJ user
     eatwe: http://eatwe.livejournal.com/129161.html
     The closest I ever came to owning these characters is an iPod named
     Padackles. No harm, no foul, and no offence is intended by using them
     for my own ends.
     Originally published on LiveJournal 2010-06-21.
See the end of the work for more notes
***** First Movement *****

   Are we not formed, as notes of music are for one another, though dissimilar?
                                                         --Percy Bysshe Shelley
The one thing Jared Padalecki was looking forward to from his freshman year of
high school was actually nothing to do with high school. Jared and his best
friend Chad, who unfortunately wasn't going to the same high school as him, had
auditioned for the Youth Orchestras of San Antonio on a whim in May. They
hadn’t expected to get into one of the high-end groups, but figured it would be
a good way to make sure they saw each other at least once a week.
Both of them getting into the top program YOSA offered—the Philharmonic
ensemble—was a huge bonus. Jared had never actually considered that he might
really be good at playing the cello; he played simply because he loved music.
So, YOSA? It was a big freaking deal.
High school, on the other hand... Jared didn’t understand what the big deal
about high school was. It was a bigger school with different classes, but it
was only three blocks away from his old school, so he couldn’t figure out why
his momma was insisting on acting as though he was moving to New Zealand.
Really, high school wasn't anything to get excited about. Most of his friends
were going to James Madison with him and the ones that weren’t, like Chad, he’d
still see on the weekends. High school was a great example of what was not a
big freaking deal.
Jared suppressed a sigh as his mom knocked on the door of his room. He made a
silent bet with himself; would she cry about how her little boy was all grown
up, or would she tell him to get some sleep?
“You should get some sleep, honey. Tomorrow’s a big day,” she said quietly.
Jared stopped himself from rolling his eyes with difficulty.
“Yeah, okay,” he said instead, getting up out of his chair to kiss her on the
cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Sherri smiled at him, her eyes suspiciously bright. “Goodnight, sweetheart,”
she said, pulling the door closed behind her as she left.
Jared turned the volume off on his computer and resumed his conversation with
Chad.
JayTee24: Sorry, mom just came in to tell me to go to bed LOL
ChadMeister69: Haha is she crying again?
JayTee24: Probably
ChadMeister69: MY LITTLE BABY IS GOING TO HIGH SCHOOL
JayTee24: blow me 
ChadMeister69: u wish fag
JayTee24: dude.
ChadMeister69: what?
ChadMeister69: come on man
ChadMeister69: don’t get your panties in a twist
JayTee24: Just... dude, that word, come on.
ChadMeister69: what, do your parents read your IMs now?
ChadMeister69: because at some point they’re going to figure out you’re
flamingly gay
JayTee24: that’s not really the point man
JayTee24: it’s just a shitty word okay
ChadMeister69: yeah, k man, i’m sorry
JayTee24: yeah. I’m gonna head to bed, I "have a big day tomorrow" LOL
JayTee24: Night dude
JayTee24 is offline
===============================================================================
Okay, so high school fucking sucks when you’re gay.
To be fair, high school might fucking suck when you’re straight, too, but Jared
wouldn’t have known. What he did know was that every single one of his friends
wanted to talk about tits and ass all the time, and it was pretty boring. When
he didn’t join in the ‘who has the biggest boobs in our grade’ debate, rolling
his eyes and calling it stupid, Tom laughed.
“You a fuckin’ faggot or something, Padalecki?” he asked, and it took all of
Jared’s willpower not to leap across the table and punch Tom in his stupid
homophobic face.
Jared needed new friends.
===============================================================================
Jared was nervous as his Mom dropped him off just before 2:30 on Sunday
afternoon. He manoeuvred his cello out of the back seat, thankful that he’d
grown so much over the summer; now that he was brushing six feet, he didn’t
look as ridiculous with a full-size cello as he did in middle school. He stuck
his head through the window of the car to assure his Mom that yes, it was half
past five that rehearsal finished and yes, he had his cell phone. She drove off
with a wave and Jared raised his free hand in response just before he heard
someone shout.
“Hey, fucker!” Chad called out, and Jared turned, grinning. “Are you and your
ridiculously oversized instrument coming inside?”
“You want to know about my oversized instrument?” Jared said as he carried his
cello to the door, laughing as Chad scowled at him with a vaguely disgusted
look on his face. “Besides, male flautists don’t get to knock anyone else’s
instrument. It’s, like, orchestral law or something.”
Chad gave him the finger as they headed inside.
What immediately hit Jared was the sound. He was one of the last to arrive, so
there were about thirty teenagers tuning their instruments—and another part of
that orchestral law is that no matter how talented the musicians are, more than
one instrument being tuned at the same time always sounds horrible.
Jared looked around the room, smiling slightly to himself as he realized a lot
of the kids had unconsciously grouped off with others who played the same
instruments. Even Chad was conversing with—or more likely hitting on—the other
flautists; who were all girls, Jared noted with satisfaction. There was a guy
sitting in the percussion section tapping out a quiet beat on the snare drum
with his fingers as he also observed the room; his gaze met Jared’s and they
smiled at each other awkwardly before moving on.
The brass players chatted amongst themselves, too, while the clarinet players
talked around the reeds in their mouths. Jared noticed that at least the
cellists and the double bass players seemed to be mingling, with even a viola
player joining in their conversation.
He started to head over to them, but was distracted by the prettiest damn guy
Jared had ever seen. He knew that ‘pretty’ wasn’t a word most men like to be
attributed to them, but this guy, who was running arpeggios on a pretty
expensive-looking violin, wasn’t handsome or manly—he was just plain beautiful.
Jared swallowed hard, trying to tear his gaze away before he made an idiot of
himself on his first day.
There was a piercing whistle from the front of the room and all the sound died
off as people turned towards the source of the noise: a fairly nondescript guy
who looked to be in his mid-thirties.
“Welcome! I see some new faces, as well as some I’m heartily sick of.” Some of
the kids laughed. “For the newbies, I’m Eric, your conductor. Before we get
started... Jensen, did you have anything to say?”
To Jared’s surprise, it was the gorgeous guy with the violin who moved to stand
beside Eric. Jensen smiled, and Jared bit his lower lip at the gesture. Even
his smile was beautiful, damn it; so warm and infectious that even though it
wasn’t directed at him, it made Jared want to smile back.
“Hey, guys. I’m Jensen, and I’m your concertmaster this year. Uh, for those of
you who don’t know what that means, I basically sit in that chair right there—”
he gestured to the front chair in the violin section with his bow—“and tune
everyone before we perform. Err, I’m not really sure what else I do, to be
honest, so I guess we’ll just see.”
A few of the players tittered at Jensen’s confession that he had no idea what
he was doing. Jensen was blushing as he stepped back, quickly returning to
where he’d been standing to grab his rosin. And Jared? Jared was so screwed.
Eric clapped his hands. “Okay! Your names are on the folders on the stands, so
find your spot, have a browse through your music and get to know anyone in your
section you don’t know already. We’ll be starting in five minutes.”
Jared found his place in the cello section. He was in the front circle, beside
a blonde girl who introduced herself as Katie. Jared grinned at her, relieved
that people were willing to talk to the new kid. It had worried him, even
though he knew Chad would be there. After all, it’s always great to make new
friends, right?
“I’m Jared,” he said. “You been here long?”
Katie smiled. “Three years in the elite,” she laughed, gesturing vaguely around
the room. “But I’ve been playing since I was eight. How long have you been
playing?”
“Four years,” Jared replied.
“Wow... and they’ve put you here?” Katie sounded impressed. “Four years is a
pretty short time to be in the front row.”
Jared scratched the back of his neck, feeling awkward. “Maybe it’s my stunning
good looks and charm,” he joked.
Katie smiled at him, but before she could respond, a pretty dark-haired girl
came up to them. She was holding a clarinet in one hand and used the other to
pull Katie in close to her, kissing her deeply. Jared jumped slightly, looking
around, but nobody seemed to be fazed by the girls’ open affection. 
When they finally broke apart, Jared wasn’t sure where to look. The dark-haired
girl looked over and smiled warmly at him.
“I’m Lauren,” she said with a hint of a British accent, waving her clarinet at
him. “Welcome!” Jared smiled awkwardly and nodded, watching as she sashayed
back to her seat. His gaze dropped back to Katie, whose gaze was hard and fixed
on him.
“Are we going to have a problem, Jared? ‘Cause if you’re going to start
spouting homophobic crap, you better let me know now.”
“Oh, no! Not at all. It’s cool,” he blurted, stumbling over his words.
Katie’s whole body relaxed. “You seem surprised,” she said, but she didn’t seem
offended so much as curious.
Jared shrugged. “People suck,” he replied eloquently, “especially the people I
go to school with. I would have thought it’d be easier for people to keep their
mouths shut, you know? The people I hang out with sure wouldn’t make it easy to
be out and proud.”
She laughed. “I am who I am, you know? If people don’t like it that’s their
problem, not mine. And we’re lucky, here; the people who know us don’t care,
and if anyone comes in with a problem... well, they usually end up leaving
pretty fast. It’s not like Lauren and I are the only ones.”
“Huh,” Jared managed, swallowing hard.
“Yeah, I know. Although I guess it’s easier for girls than guys,” she added,
looking at him so directly Jared almost choked. Trying to hide his discomfort,
he turned and introduced himself to the other cellists and by the time he was
done, Eric was calling for everyone’s attention.
The first piece they played was the first movement of Symphony no.
8 by Dvořák, Allegro Con Brio, which was challenging but not impossible. Jared
kept one eye on Eric until he was comfortable with the tempo and quickly
realised that keeping one eye on the conductor meant keeping one eye on Jensen
as well; the guy was almost perfectly in his line of sight. There were passages
where the cellos played suspended notes while the violins took the melody, so
Jared allowed himself to watch. 
Jensen on the violin was—there was no other word for it—mesmerizing. Jared’s
breath caught as he watched Jensen’s hands move along the strings, his eyes
fluttering shut during the sections he obviously knew by heart. The piece was
full of staccato, glissando, tremolo—all those fiddly little extras Jared
always had to watch out for, but Jensen seemed to have no problem with at all. 
Concentrating on the music in front of him was hard after that. Jensen was a
glorious distraction.
===============================================================================
When they took a break halfway through rehearsal, Jared headed straight for the
food laid out on the table. He was a growing boy and besides, playing the cello
for over an hour straight was more tiring than most people realized. He poured
himself a glass of juice, grabbed a cookie, and turned around to find himself
face to face with Jensen.
“Uh, hey,” Jared muttered, assuming Jensen was trying to get to the food and
stepping to one side, feeling self-conscious. Jensen smiled at him and Jared
had to remind himself to breathe.
“I came over to introduce myself,” Jensen said. “I would have before we
started, but you kind of snuck in without me noticing. So, you already know
this, I guess, but I’m Jensen.” He held out his hand and Jared silently prayed
that he wouldn’t make an idiot of himself.
“Jared,” he replied, taking Jensen’s hand in his own. Jensen didn’t do that
thing most men do, where they try to prove how strong they are; his grip was
warm and firm and Jared probably imagined the way his hand tingled when they
touched.
The handshake went on just a little too long before Jared pulled away, but he
couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face.
“So how long have you been here?” he asked, hoping to engage Jensen in
conversation for a while.
Jensen scratched the back of his neck, clearly embarrassed. “I’ve been in this
group since I was thirteen, but I joined YOSA when I was eight. Where do you go
to school, man?”
“I just started at James Madison,” Jared replied. Talking to Jensen was easy,
comfortable. It would probably be a problem, but he couldn’t really bring
himself to end the conversation.
Jensen’s whole face lit up. “Really? That’s where I am. So how come I haven’t
seen you round yet?”
Jared’s brow furrowed. “Aren’t you a senior?” he asked. At Jensen’s nod, he
said, “Well, that’d be why, then.”
Jensen laughed. “So, Jared—”
“You can call me Jay, if you want. All my friends do,” Jared said. As soon as
the words were out of his mouth, he wanted to kick himself. Jensen, however,
didn’t even blink.
“Awesome. So, Jay—”
He was interrupted again, this time by Eric clapping his hands, calling out for
everyone to return to their seats. Jensen’s mouth twisted in what Jared could
have sworn was disappointment.
“I’ll talk to you before you go, okay?” he said, and Jared nodded. Jensen
turned and headed back to his seat, picking up his violin and quickly retuning.
Jared was smiling to himself as he slipped back into his chair. Katie raised a
knowing eyebrow at him and he flushed slightly, turning away. 
===============================================================================
Jared slipped his bow back into his case, hoisted the case over his shoulder,
and turned around to see Jensen leaning against the piano, grinning at him.
“You really like standing behind me, don’t you?” Jared asked, before blushing
as he realised what he'd said. 
Jensen laughed. The room was almost empty, Jared noticed as Jensen stepped
towards him. They ended up standing a little closer than normal, but Jared sure
as hell didn’t want to move away.
“Did you drive?” Jensen asked. It took Jared a moment to process the question.
“Uh, no, my mom gave me a lift,” he said, then wondered if that made him sound
lame.
“Did you want a ride home?”
“Oh... my mom’s already left,” Jared answered, cursing silently.
“Oh, cool,” Jensen said, looking slightly disappointed. “Well, why don’t you
give me your number? I can give you a ride next week, save her running around
after you.”
Jared grinned as he programmed his number into Jensen’s phone. They walked out
of the building together, where Jared’s momma was already waiting in the car.
“Well, I’ll see you on Sunday then,” Jared said, smiling at him.
“Unless I see you around school, man,” Jensen replied. “Have a good one.”
“Yeah, you too,” Jared said, before heading towards the car and sliding his
cello in the back seat.
His mom asked him questions all the way home. She seemed pleased that Jared had
made some friends at YOSA and to Jared’s relief, she was happy to let Jensen
take him to rehearsal next week.
===============================================================================
Jared tried not to think about Jensen too much and failed miserably. He knew he
was being ridiculous; Jensen was a senior, probably straight, and incredibly
gorgeous... not to mention intelligent and funny and, well, a lot of things
that put him well out of Jared’s league.
But all that didn’t stop Jared from keeping his eyes peeled in the cafeteria,
or the library, or pretty much anywhere in the school a senior might be. At
night, it didn’t stop him slipping his hand below the waistband of his boxers,
sliding his hand up and down his dick as he thought about Jensen’s eyes and his
smile and his goddamn hands until he came undone, trying to muffle the sounds
of his heavy breathing.
===============================================================================
Jared had English last period on a Friday afternoon. They were watching To Kill
a Mockingbird, which was, sadly, way more boring than the book. The only
interesting part of the class had been when one of the girls had asked why the
guy playing Atticus spoke with a Midwestern accent, and Tom had joked that
maybe he was too intelligent for a southern one. Jared had laughed behind his
hand while his teacher, Ms. Foster, scowled. He was halfway to dozing off in
his chair when his cell phone vibrated against his leg.
It was a text from an unknown number. Jared opened his phone and smiled as he
read the message.
Hey its Jensen. is last period killing u, coz its killing me. txt me ur address
so i can pick u up on sunday afternoon?
Jared's heart fluttered ever so slightly as he tapped out a reply.
===============================================================================
Jared couldn’t sit still on Sunday morning. He practically inhaled three pieces
of toast; which, okay, wasn’t exactly a rare occurrence, but he wasn’t usually
so nervous when he did it. His mom fluttered around him, concerned despite his
assurances that everything was fine.
A little after one he finally let himself take a shower, the hot water beating
down on his back as he tried very hard not to jerk off.
That was a total failure, which meant the shower ran a lot longer than Jared
meant it to. By the time he finally switched the water off it was almost two,
which meant he didn’t have time to obsess over what he was going to wear like
he’d been planning.
Not that he’d been planning to obsess over his outfit. Not like he’d tried to
pick something out the night before, but eventually decided it was a decision
best made after a good night’s rest.
Because that would be totally lame. You know, if it happened. Which it didn’t.
===============================================================================
Jared was just buttoning up his shirt when he heard a knock on the front door.
He hurtled downstairs, trying not to trip over his own feet, but his mom was
already inviting Jensen in by the time he got there.
“It’s lovely to meet you, ma’am,” Jensen said warmly, and Jared could almost
see her swoon.
“Now, none of that nonsense, I’m Sherri,” she blustered, and Jared hid a grin.
It wasn’t often he saw his momma lost for words; he was enjoying it a little.
However, he wanted the alone time with Jensen more, even if that was really
fucking stupid.
“We better get going,” he announced to the room at large, and Jensen grinned at
him. Jared picked up his cello from where he’d put it near the door earlier in
the day and gave his mom a quick kiss on the cheek.
“You boys behave,” she said sternly, but her eyes were twinkling.
Jensen clicked his heels and saluted. “Yes, ma’am!” he barked. Sherri laughed
as she shooed them out the door.
===============================================================================
Jared and Jensen chatted all the way to rehearsal, and while they were tuning
up, and during the break. It turned out they had the same taste in everything,
from music to movies to food; they even both confessed to secretly loving
Broadway musicals.
Jared was falling for this guy in a huge way. He tried his hardest to ignore
it, but as they fell into a routine over the next few weeks, it became more and
more difficult to separate the friendship from the way Jared wanted to jump his
bones.
About a month after he started going to rehearsals with Jensen, Jared came to a
decision. After all, Katie had given him the impression that if there was
anywhere he could be completely open about himself, it was here at orchestra.
Jared, Jensen, Katie and a few others were all standing around in a circle
chatting during their break as Jared quietly freaked out. When Eric called for
everyone to come back to their seats, Jared took a deep breath. He knew if he
didn’t say something now, he’d probably pussy out.
“Hey, Jensen? There’s probably something you should know.”
Jensen stopped and looked up at him as the others went back to retune. “What’s
that, Jay?” he asked. Jared was momentarily distracted by Jensen’s
fucking eyes, but managed to focus. This wasn’t really the most appropriate
time to be getting turned on.
“I’m gay,” he said quickly. Jensen’s eyes widened. “Just, uh, so you know.” It
was only the second time he’d said it out loud, after Chad, but it felt like a
huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. 
So that was what total honesty felt like.
Not catching Jensen’s eye, he turned and walked back to his seat, hoping he’d
done the right thing.
===============================================================================
The ride home was mostly quiet. Jensen didn’t seem uncomfortable, though, just
lost in thought, which Jared took as a good sign.
It wasn’t until they were parked outside Jared’s house that Jensen cleared his
throat.
“So, Jay,” Jensen said, his eyes dropping away from Jared’s as he fiddled with
the steering wheel. “I thought maybe... ugh, never mind.”
“Just spit it out, dude,” Jared teased, smiling. Jensen didn’t seem like he was
about to condemn Jared to hell or anything, which was definitely a plus in
Jared’s book.
Jensen took a deep breath. “Do you wanna maybe catch a movie Friday?” he asked
in a rush.
It was possible that Jared stopped breathing for a moment. “Like, together?”
Jensen nodded, still eyeing him warily. “Like a date, yeah,” he said, biting
his lip.
Jared smiled, a warm feeling spreading through his chest. “I’d really like
that,” he replied, and was rewarded with one of Jensen's dazzling grins.
"So... I'll text you, okay?" Jensen said quickly.
Jared nodded eagerly. "Yeah, absolutely. Can't wait," he added as he stepped
out of the car. He pulled his cello out of the back seat. "I'll, uh, talk to
you later, then?"
Jensen nodded, the huge smile still plastered to his face. "Absolutely."
Jared had the good sense to wait until the car had pulled away to do his happy
dance.
===============================================================================
That night, the image in Jared’s head was of Jensen looking up at him with his
lips wrapped around Jared’s cock. For the first time, Jared let himself wonder
if it would actually happen.
===============================================================================
On Wednesday night, Jared’s parents and his sister Megan went out to some pot
luck dinner being held by their church. Jared begged off, claiming he had to
study, and his mom smiled at him.
“I’m proud of you, sweetie. You’re working so hard and still making time for
your music,” she smiled, stroking his cheek. “Now, there’s a packet of macaroni
and cheese you can make when you get hungry, and we should be home before ten;
it’s a school night, after all.”
“Sure thing, Mom,” Jared smiled at her, trying not to look like he was waiting
too impatiently for her to leave. He helped her carry the food out to the
car—when Padaleckis cook, they cook for an army—and waved goodbye as his father
backed down the driveway.
Then he sent Chad a text. House 2 myself 4 a few hours, need 2 talk 2 u dude.
Get over here.
===============================================================================
Chad arrived within half an hour, a six-pack in hand. Jared didn’t even bother
asking how he’d managed to acquire beer; he just grabbed one as they headed up
the stairs to Jared’s bedroom.
He waited until Chad had taken a long mouthful before blurting out, “I think
I’ve met a guy.”
Chad raised an eyebrow. “You think? As in, he might just be in your head?
‘Cause I’ve gotta say, Jared, I don’t know if I’m comfortable hanging around
someone who makes out with pretend guys.”
Jared gave him the finger. “That’s not what I meant. Yes, he’s real, you jerk.”
Chad nodded. “And this ‘real guy’ wouldn’t happen to be a certain violin player
by any chance, would he?” he smirked.
Jared nearly choked on his beer. “You, uh, noticed that?”
“Dude, a retarded turtle would have noticed you two,” Chad snorted. “So, is he
actually gay?”
“Well, he asked me out,” Jared said slowly, “so I’m assuming he’s at least bi.”
Chad stared at him. “It’s fucking depressing when you’re getting more action
than me, dude. Just so you know.”
Jared rolled his eyes. “There hasn’t been any action yet; we’re just going to a
movie. Oh, by the way, can I say I’m going with you?”
“Yeah, sure it’s ‘just a movie’,” Chad sniggered, making air quotes with his
hands. “And why would you tell them you’re going with me? How is going with one
dude any less gay than going with another?”
“Are you saying me going to the movies with you would be just as gay as me
going with Jensen?” Jared asked, trying to stifle his laughter at the look of
horror that crossed Chad’s face.
“Oh man, shut the fuck up, you know what I mean. Besides, you are aware that
your folks are eventually going to find out, aren’t you?”
Jared ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I know. But with Dad being a
homophobic dick... the longer I can put it off, the better.” He paused,
draining the rest of his drink. “Preferably until college,” he added hopefully.
Chad nodded, finishing off his own beer and opening another. “Do you know why
your dad’s like that? He doesn’t really seem like the sort of guy who’d hate
anyone.”
Jared shook his head, reaching for a second can. “I don’t really know. I used
to have an Uncle Tony; he wasn’t really my uncle but, you know, he was Jeff’s
godfather and he used to come round all the time, bring us shit, look after us
when my parents went out. Anyway, when I was about five or six, I remember him
telling me and Jeff about his boyfriend. I didn’t really understand, so I asked
my momma why Uncle Tony had a boyfriend, and she kind of explained how some
grownup men like other boys instead of girls, or the other way round. She was
real cool about it, you know? But I guess she said something to dad, ‘cause a
few days later, dad started screaming at him, calling him an abomination—took
me years to realize what that word was—and saying God would see him rot in
hell. Uncle Tony stormed out and never came back.”
Chad let out a low whistle. “Fuck.”
“Yeah,” Jared nodded, taking another drink. 
“At least your mom seems cool?” Chad offered, biting his lip.
“Yeah,” Jared said, “but I don’t know if she’d stand up for me against Dad.”
Chad fiddled with the tab on his drink. “Well, you can always sleep on my
floor,” he said. “My floor doesn’t give a shit who you fuck.”
Jared huffed a laugh. “Thanks, man, but I’m hoping it won’t come to that.
Anyway, I was going to make macaroni and cheese. You want some?”
Chad nodded. “Fuck yes,” he declared, pulling himself up off the floor.
===============================================================================
Chad left after he’d emptied half the cupboard, much to Jared’s amusement. The
conversation they’d had about his dad had left Jared feeling slightly off, so
he decided to take a hot shower and unwind a little. When he stepped out, the
air felt great against his bare skin, so he wandered back to his bedroom with
just a towel wrapped around his waist. He felt like chilling out and playing
some Fallout 3 before his parents got home. When in doubt, Jared’s solution was
usually to blow some virtual shit up.
He was just loading up his game when his phone started vibrating, the noise
reverberating against his computer desk. Jared put down the controller and
picked up his phone, grinning when he saw Jensen’s name on the display. They’d
fallen into the habit of texting each other in the evenings, flirting, hovering
on the edge of sexual banter but never falling far enough over for Jared to
lose control—until they said goodnight, anyway.
Im BORED. nothing on tv on Wednesday night. please tell me u have msn. aim.
skype. anything?
Jared laughed out loud. All of the above. Same username on all—JayTee24.
Stalker ;)
He hurriedly closed his game and opened up his web browser, intending to find
something to do online while he waited for Jensen to IM him. It wasn’t long
before AOL messenger chimed, alerting him to a new message.
ArpeggioMan301: Stalker? Me? By the way, nice shirt you’re wearing *leers
creepily*
JayTee24: Haha, joke’s on you—I’m not wearing a shirt
ArpeggioMan301: Oh shit, nice visual
JayTee24: Haha I’m glad you think so lol ;)
ArpeggioMan301: I think you’re teasing me on purpose
JayTee24: No, teasing you on purpose would be telling you I’m only wearing a
towel...............
ArpeggioMan301: *groans*
JayTee24: Oh, you like that then?
ArpeggioMan301: Hmmm, I don’t know
JayTee24: :(
ArpeggioMan301: I mean, I’m a little shocked. We haven’t even been on our first
date yet and you’re already getting naked for me
JayTee24: Oh don’t worry baby, I’m not getting naked for you :P
ArpeggioMan301: :O Who are you getting naked for then??? *jealous*
JayTee24: Mostly just myself lol
ArpeggioMan301: Plucking your own strings?
JayTee24: Hmmm... still tuning haha
ArpeggioMan301: How long do you think we could keep going with a music/
masturbation analogy?
JayTee24: I dunno, how long does it take you to masturbate? ;)
ArpeggioMan301: You’re the one getting naked, Jared :D
JayTee24: So I am, so I am. That doesn’t seem fair.
ArpeggioMan301: Would you like me to get naked for you?
Jared bit his lip, his cock achingly hard under the towel. He resisted the urge
to wrap his hand around it, knowing that if he started there’d be no way in
hell he could stop. He decided to keep with the light, teasing tone they’d
struck up, both hands firmly on the keyboard.

JayTee24: Now who’s being forward before the first date??
JayTee24: Not that I’m complaining mind you... 
ArpeggioMan301: I’d get naked for you in a heartbeat if you asked me to *grins*
JayTee24: Mmmm, is that so?
ArpeggioMan301: Fuck yeah
ArpeggioMan301: Oh god
JayTee24: What?
ArpeggioMan301: You’ve gone and got me all hard
Jared had to break his own rule at that visual, wrapping his left hand around
the base of his dick, trying to stop himself coming right there. The temptation
to jerk off was almost overwhelming; the mental image of Jensen with an
erection seared into his brain. When he was sure he wasn’t going to lose
control, he resumed typing.

JayTee24: Oh sure, blame me!
ArpeggioMan301: No, it’s definitely you, Jared
JayTee24: *blushes*
ArpeggioMan301: I bet you’re really cute when you blush :)
JayTee24: ................ *blushes harder*
ArpeggioMan301: That’s not helping
ArpeggioMan301: Jesus I can’t wait for Friday
JayTee24: Me either :D :D :D
ArpeggioMan301: Having you all to myself in that dark theater...
JayTee24: And there was me thinking you just really wanted to see the film!! :O
ArpeggioMan301: Have we even decided what we’re going to go see yet?
JayTee24: LOL no 
ArpeggioMan301: I don’t really care what we go see... don’t think I’ll be
paying much attention to the movie ;)
JayTee24: And I *suppose* you’ll end up distracting me... *deep sigh*
ArpeggioMan301: Depends. How could I possibly distract you? ;)
JayTee24: Honestly?
ArpeggioMan301: Yeah, I’d really love to know.
JayTee24: Your fucking *hands*, man. They’re pretty damn distracting at
orchestra.
ArpeggioMan301: How are my hands distracting? *tilts head*
JayTee24: Are you serious? The way you handle your violin... it’s so fucking
sexy.
ArpeggioMan301: .....
ArpeggioMan301: Please tell me your computer’s full of orchestral porn.
JayTee24: No, I haven’t taken any pics of you playing yet *sleazy wink*
ArpeggioMan301: You can take pics of any part of me you like, Jay *winks even
more sleazily*
JayTee24: Is that a promise? *watches you sleep Twilight-style*
ArpeggioMan301: Will you be the Edward to my Bella?
JayTee24: LOOOOOOOOOL YOU’RE THE GIRL XDDDD
ArpeggioMan301: *gives you the finger*
JayTee24: *licks you*
ArpeggioMan301: Oh FUCK yeah
JayTee24: You want me to lick you?
ArpeggioMan301: Fuck, yes please!
JayTee24: *licks all over*
ArpeggioMan301: Jesus, if I wasn’t hard before...
JayTee24: And yet you’re still clothed... I’m disappointed ;)
ArpeggioMan301: You’re kidding, right? I got naked ages ago.
JayTee24: Holy Jesus fuck, are you trying to make me come?!
ArpeggioMan301: That would be the general idea, yes :P
JayTee24: Well congratulations, you’re well on your way... fuck I want to touch
myself
ArpeggioMan301: I don’t
JayTee24: ??????
ArpeggioMan301: I want *you* to touch me ;)
JayTee24: That could definitely be arranged
ArpeggioMan301: God I’m hoping so... guess I’ll just have to make do with my
own hands in the meantime though
Jared was just reaching for the lube in his top drawer when he heard the front
door slam. His mother called out his name, and he managed to choke out a quick
“Coming!”, trying desperately to will his erection away. He leaned quickly over
the keyboard.
JayTee24: FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK MY PARENTS ARE HOME. Just when we were getting
to the good part too... text me if you can, okay?! I’m not ready to say
goodnight yet :D
Just before he logged off, the reply came:
ArpeggioMan301: Will do, I’m not ready to say goodnight either
Jared’s face split into a wide grin as he switched off his computer and yanked
his jeans over his hips before heading downstairs.
===============================================================================
Jared had just dozed off late that night when his phone vibrated on his bedside
table. Blearily, he opened the message, sleep-addled brain working to make
sense of the words.
Ur probably asleep right now, but i wanted u to know i just jerked off thinking
about u. Cant wait for friday.
He fell asleep smiling.
===============================================================================
Jared’s stomach was knotted when he woke up on Friday morning. His hands rapped
out a rhythm on the counter as he waited for his toast to pop, a perfect
fingernail rendition of Ride of the Valkyries. His mother glanced up at him,
frowning in concern.
“Do you want a coffee, Jared?” she asked.
Jared looked over at her in shock. She was always saying that she’d prefer it
if he waited until he was ‘a bit older’ before relying on caffeine to get him
through the day. Jared had no idea what would have made her change her mind,
but he nodded gratefully.
“That’d be good, actually, yeah. Thanks, Mom,” he added as an afterthought,
smiling as she poured him a mug. It was only the two of them in the kitchen;
Jared’s dad had already left for work and he hadn’t seen his sister that
morning. Knowing Megan, she was probably still in the bathroom, doing...
whatever it was girls did in there.
Sherri slid the coffee over the counter to him, hesitating before it reached
his waiting hands. Jared looked quickly up at her, smiling slightly; maybe she
wasn’t quite ready to let him grow up yet after all. After a slight pause,
however, she reached over for the sugar bowl and handed it to him.
“You’re going to want that,” she suggested, a teasing grin on her face.
“Coffee’s an acquired taste, that’s for sure.”
Jared laughed. “Thanks,” he said again, picking up a teaspoon and heaping the
sugar in. Four spoonfuls later, he looked back at his mom to see her watching
him, her eyes damp.
“Mom, are you okay?” Jared asked awkwardly. He was still at the age where any
hint of emotion from his parents made him vaguely uncomfortable; he shifted in
his chair, trying to inconspicuously check the time on his phone.
Sherri cleared her throat sharply and got out of her seat to start loading the
dishwasher. “Nothing’s wrong, sweetie,” she said smoothly, only a slight
tremble in her voice. “It’s just hard to watch my kids grow up sometimes,
that’s all.”
“Sorry?” Jared offered, and Sherri tipped her head back, laughing.
“You should be, kid. Come on, get your butt to school already. Are you coming
home before you go out with Jensen and your other friends tonight?”
Jared flinched as the reason he was so nervous came flooding back to him.
“Yeah, probably,” he managed. “I’ll have a shower and stuff.”
Sherri nodded. “Sure thing, love. Have a good day.”
Jared managed a smile. “Don’t I always?”
===============================================================================
By the time Jared walked into English that afternoon, he was a very well
contained wreck, his brain spinning with panicked possibilities. What if he
tries to kiss me? Fuck, what if he doesn’t? What the hell am I going to wear?
He sent Chad a text under the desk while his teacher’s back was turned. Im
freaking the fuck out, man. HELP.
The reply didn’t take long to come back; Jared suspected that maybe, just
maybe, Chad wasn’t in class that afternoon. 
Stop being a fucking girl and just enjoy ur hot date. and if jensen has any fag
hags give them my number. if ur getting some i should be 2.
“That was a huge fucking help,” Jared muttered inaudibly under his breath,
sliding his phone back in his pocket. It looked like he was going to have to
work this out on his own. 
===============================================================================
Jared was the first one home after school, for which he was thankful. He
dropped his books on the end of his bed and headed straight for the shower,
tugging his shirt over his head the second he locked the bathroom door. The hot
water helped him to relax his muscles, as well as clearing his head; he was
feeling a lot better as he stepped out of the bathroom. 
He spent far too long standing in front of his closet, droplets of water
cooling on his skin as he stared blankly at his shirts. Sure, he’d been out
with his friends, or out to dinner with family, but it wasn’t like he’d ever
been out on a date and the truth was, he was completely winging it. He didn’t
want to think about that too much, though; the last thing he wanted was for his
nerves to get the better of him. 
Jared pulled out two shirts, one dark blue and one white and held them both in
front of his chest while eyeing himself in the mirror. He felt ridiculous and,
remembering Chad’s accusation that he was being a girl about the whole thing,
frowned and shoved the blue shirt back in his closet. He knew he needed to take
a breath and calm down. He had a date – an honest-to-God date – with a really
gorgeous guy who he really liked. And who, for some unknown reason, seemed to
like him, too.
Jared started to get dressed, concentrating on keeping his breathing even. He
was going to stay calm, come across as smart and funny and someone Jensen would
want to go out with again. And if the suggestive texts and IMs they’d been
sending each other were any indication, maybe, just maybe, he’d get some idea
of exactly what Jensen’s hands were capable of. 
He swallowed hard, steering his mind away from that visual. 
===============================================================================
Jensen had said he’d pick Jared up at 6:30, so Jared didn’t let himself wait
outside until five minutes beforehand. He’d barely closed the door behind him
when he saw Jensen’s car pull up to the curb outside his house, and he couldn’t
help grinning at the idea that maybe Jensen was as eager for this date as he
was. He practically ran to the car, a grin splitting his face as he slid into
the passenger’s seat.
“Hey,” he said warmly, before realising that Jensen was staring at him, his
mouth slightly open.
“What?” Jared asked, apprehensive.
Jensen blinked once before meeting Jared’s eyes and smiling. “Nothing, man.
It’s just... Jesus, you look good.”
Jared glanced down at himself, the white shirt he’d chosen hanging loose over
his black jeans, before giving Jensen a fairly obvious once-over. He was
dressed fairly similarly to Jared, but had opted for a black shirt with the top
two buttons undone and dark blue jeans. They looked good on his tanned skin,
and Jared grinned.
“You don’t look so bad yourself, you know,” he said, letting Jensen hear the
heat in his voice. Jensen glanced at him out of the corner of his eye.
“You shouldn’t talk to me like that, Jay,” he said. Jared flinched, thinking
he’d gone too far, before Jensen added, “We’ll never make it to the movie
otherwise.”
Jared laughed. “Suits me fine,” he teased, “but I thought we decided to go on a
date first?”
“Yeah,” Jensen agreed, but his voice was slightly breathy.
Jared looked over in time to see Jensen shift surreptitiously in his seat, and
he smirked to himself. It was reassuring to know he wasn’t the only one being
driven slowly insane.
===============================================================================
They got to the theater with plenty of time to spare, bickering good-naturedly
about whether Jensen was paying for both of them or not. In the end, they
agreed that if Jensen was paying for the tickets then Jared could get candy and
drinks. They got in their separate lines, Jared trying to juggle two huge sodas
and a bucket of popcorn while Jensen picked up their tickets for Zombieland.
When they met again in the middle, Jensen laughed and immediately relieved
Jared of one of the drinks. “Come on, Jay,” he said, “if we head in now we can
get seats in the back.” He wagged his eyebrows suggestively at Jared, who
grinned back.
“The back sounds good,” he agreed quickly, following Jensen into the theater.
They settled into their seats—center of the back row—and Jared rested the
popcorn between them. They chatted until the lights went down. Jared told
Jensen all about Chad; how they’d been best friends since kindergarten, when
some kid stole Jared’s truck and Chad punched him in the face; his constant
attempts to overcompensate for his flute playing; his latest, disturbing habit
of hitting on Megan. Jensen laughed loudly at that last one.
“I know exactly how you feel. If any of my friends started flirting with Mack,
I’d break them,” he said. Jared got the feeling that despite the teasing tone,
he was serious.
“Mack?”
“My sister,” Jensen clarified. “She’s twelve and, if I get my way, she won’t be
dating until she’s thirty. And when she does, it better not be a guy who
dropped out of high school to start a band.”
“Friend of yours?” Jared guessed. Jensen nodded as he took a sip of his Coke.
“Chris and I have been best friends pretty much forever, you know? He dropped
out near the end of last year and started a band with a couple of our friends.
He’s good; they’re all good, but… they’re not great.”
Jared winced. “That sucks, man. But if it makes him happy…”
Jensen nodded. “Exactly. And that’s the thing; they are happy. They’re doing
what they love. So, more power to them, I guess.”
The lights started to dim before Jared could respond. As the theater settled
into an expectant hush, Jensen leaned in close and laced his fingers through
Jared’s.
Jared felt the warmth spread up his arm and through his body, and he gave
Jensen’s hand a light squeeze. Jensen tossed a grin in his direction before
they both turned their attention to the screen.
===============================================================================
When they pulled up in front of Jared’s house after the movie, Jared seized the
initiative.
“I had a really good time tonight, Jensen,” he said softly.
Jensen’s eyes lit up. “Me too, Jay. Does that mean I could convince you to go
out with me again?”
“I’m sure you could convince me somehow,” Jared teased. Before he could blink,
Jensen leaned across the gearbox, tugging him close as their lips met. 
Jensen’s lips were sure and firm against his own. His mouth opened almost
involuntarily, and Jensen slid his tongue between Jared’s lips as his hands
wound their way into the hair Jared’s momma was always wishing he would get
cut.
It was wet, but hard at the same time and the gear stick was jutting
uncomfortably into Jared’s ribs, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. It was
nothing like what he’d imagined his first kiss to be.
It was pretty damn perfect.
When they finally broke apart, Jensen looked slightly dazed.
“I would really, really like it if you want to be my boyfriend, Jay,” he
whispered.
Jared’s heart rate sped up but he pursed his lips, pretending to consider.
“Well, I suppose—” was as far as he got before Jensen shut him up with another
kiss.
“Go on, go,” Jensen muttered against his lips, “before I take you home with
me.”
“I don’t think I’d mind,” Jared murmured back, reckless. Jensen exhaled
sharply.
“Me either. Jesus, you’re a temptation and a half. I’ll see you on Sunday,
okay? And I’ll text you. A lot.”
Jared nodded. “Me, too,” he promised, landing one last, soft kiss on Jensen’s
lips before he got out of the car. He waved as Jensen pulled away before
heading inside.
His phone was buzzing in his pocket before he even made it to the door. He
flipped open his phone and grinned as he read the words on the screen.
Miss u already. best nite ive had in a long time. look forward 2 more.
***** Second Movement *****
Jared quickly discovered that if there was one thing that got you noticed in
YOSA, it was being Jensen Ackles’ boyfriend.
They walked into rehearsal on Sunday afternoon with their hands laced together.
A couple of people grinned as they went past, but no one commented; clearly,
Katie had been right. This wasn’t a big deal here. 
Jensen followed Jared into the unofficial ‘cellist’s corner’, where Katie and
the others always unpacked and left their cases when they were playing. While
Jared wrangled his cello out of its case, Jensen told him about some party he
went to where someone offered his friend Mike twenty bucks to shave his head.
He was just getting to the part where Mike got shaving cream in his eyes when
there was a cough from behind them.
Jared turned and smiled at the percussionist, who he’d had the moment of
awkward eye contact with on the first night but whose name he’d never managed
to catch. He was observing them both with a piercing gaze, his head tilted to
one side. 
“I’m very glad the two of you have found happiness,” he said solemnly. “I
sensed a connection between you from the very beginning. I feel that there may
be some challenges ahead; you walk a difficult path, but if you walk together,
they will all be worth it in the end.” The guy grasped their hands, clasping
them together. “Congratulations.”
Jared stared at him, his jaw hanging open. He wasn’t entirely sure what the
fuck had just happened. Beside him, Jensen snorted.
“Misha, weren’t you told not to come to rehearsal stoned anymore?” he asked,
laughing. “Walking a difficult path, my ass. Go get a glass of water.”
Misha shot a dazzling smile his way before wandering off in the direction of
the bathroom. Jared stared after him.
“Okay, what the fuck was that?” he asked Jensen, who was still smirking.
“Near the end of last year, he turned up blazed out of his fucking tree. He
kept hitting the notes out of time when we were playing and when Eric finally
called him out on it, he said—and I quote—‘dissonance is infinitely more
beautiful than harmony’. The look on Eric’s face was classic.”
Jared blinked as the mental image settled, then started to laugh. “Holy shit,
what did Eric do?”
Jensen grinned. “He told Misha that from now on if he wanted to take any
illegal substances, he would prefer that Misha did it on a Friday so that it
didn’t affect his percussion parts. It was fucking beautiful.”
There was a muffled giggle and a thump from behind Jared. When he turned
around, Katie and her girlfriend were both there, trying to look supremely
uninterested in the fact that Jared’s hand was still in Jensen’s and utterly
failing.
“Hey guys, what’s new?” Katie asked, the nonchalance in her voice too overt to
be real. Jared raised an eyebrow at her, not convinced for a second.
“Misha’s high again,” Jensen told them, grinning. “Looks like we’re in for
another interesting night.”
Lauren smiled at Jared. “Has he told you about the time Misha got high and
decided he was going to try and play every instrument we had?”
Jared’s eyes widened and he looked over at Jensen, incredulous. “Dude, how
often does this happen?” he asked.
“It’s Misha,” Jensen, Katie and Lauren all answered in unison. Jensen dropped a
kiss on Jared’s forehead, studiously ignoring the way the girls tittered behind
their hands. “You’ll get used to it soon, Jay,” he added, smiling softly.
Jared nodded. “Guess I’ll have to,” he grinned.
===============================================================================
As they sat down in their seats Katie turned to him, her whole body twisting.
“So?” she asked impatiently.
Jared bit back a smile. “So, what?” he asked, pretending innocence.
“So, you and Jensen. What happened?” Katie hissed.
Jared shrugged casually. “Oh, he asked me out.” 
Katie bounced in her seat. “Oh, Jared, I’m so happy for you,” she said
sincerely. “Maybe now you can stop making cow’s eyes at each other... then
again, maybe it’ll just get worse,” she added, a teasing note to her voice this
time. Before she could grill him any further, Eric rapped his baton against his
music stand.
“All right, guys, let’s get started. We’re going to be having a look at the
Pachelbel piece today, so if everyone could find Canon in D major for me, that
would be awesome.”
Beside Jared, Katie groaned. “Eric, are you serious?”
Eric smiled sympathetically at her. “Sorry, Katie, but yeah, I am,” he said. “I
promise I’ll find you guys something with a decent melody line before the end
of the year, though; Scout’s honor.”
Katie pursed her lips but didn’t say anything, opening her music folder in a
huff. Jared was completely nonplussed; he had no idea why she was so annoyed by
the piece. He didn’t think he knew it, so he started flicking through his music
folder.
He found Pachelbel’s Canon and winced. He could see Katie’s issue; the cello
part was all quarter notes. The whole thing. Even for an instrument that was
kind of used to playing boring parts, this was pretty bad.
Katie shot him a look, and Jared could tell she really resented this song. He
shrugged. What can you do? he mouthed at her.
Katie sighed. Probably nothing, she mouthed back. Jared smiled sympathetically
and turned his attention back to Eric.
On the upside, playing Pachelbel left him free to look at Jensen. Watching his
boyfriend’s hands move steadily along the fingerboard, he wondered how he’d
managed to get so lucky. This gorgeous, talented, smart, funny guy wanted him.
And it made Jared pretty damn happy to know that.
===============================================================================
When they took a break, Katie grabbed her iPod out of her bag. “Here, listen to
this,” she said, handing Jared the headphones as she scrolled through her
music.
“Uh, sure?” Jared replied, not really having a choice in the matter. He hooked
the right ear bud in, waiting for the music.
Katie explained just before she started the song. “This is this comedian dude,
Rob Paravanian. He’s basically ranting about Canon in D, and it’s really funny.
Seriously, you’ll love it.”
The song started in his ear, and Jared listened intently. It was a live
recording, and the singer was talking about how much he hated playing
Pachelbel, and how many songs sound similar to the melody line in his Canon. He
sang all these songs from different genres over the melody to prove it, and
Jared’s eyes widened. Holy crap, the song was fucking everywhere.
“Right?!” Katie said, taking in the look on his face as the song ended.
“Okay, that’s fucking awesome,” Jared agreed, laughing, just before he felt
someone’s arms skim his waist. He jumped a little, then relaxed when Jensen
murmured a quick “Hey” in his ear.
“Hey, yourself,” Jared said. He spotted Chad leaning against the wall, chatting
to one of the younger flautists, and turned to Jensen. “You wanna come meet my
friend Chad?” he asked.
Jensen nodded. “I’d love to, Jay,” he said warmly. Jared grinned, grabbing his
hand and leading them both over.
Chad glanced up when they got close, then eyed their joined hands.
“Fuckin’ finally. Does this mean you’ll stop asking me for advice on your love
life now?”
Jared blushed, punching Chad in the arm. “Man, shut the fuck up,” he muttered.
Jensen laughed.
“I think it’s sweet,” he said quietly, kissing him. 
Jared didn’t think he’d ever get used to the feel of Jensen’s lips on his own.
Granted, he didn’t have much to compare them to, but Jensen’s kisses were
confident and passionate even when they weren’t heated. Jared smiled as Jensen
brought one hand up to cup his jaw, leaning into the touch. They didn’t break
apart until they heard Chad sigh.
“Yes, we get it. Your big gay love is epic and wonderful. Do you think you can
stop sucking face for five minutes now?”
“Sorry,” Jensen said, sounding chastened. When Jared glanced at him, though, he
was smirking.
“You’re not that sorry, are you?” Jared teased. Chad rolled his eyes and left
to go talk to someone else.
Jensen wrapped one arm around his waist. “Nope, not at all,” he agreed
cheerfully. He leaned in closer to whisper in Jared’s ear. “I don’t think I’ll
ever be sorry for kissing you, Jay.”
Jared shivered at the feeling of Jensen’s breath against his ear, and he bit
his lip. “You shouldn’t do that, Jen. I’ll drag you right out of here,” he said
in an undertone.
Jensen chuckled and shifted slightly, and suddenly Jared could feel just how
much Jensen liked that idea. He sucked in a breath, muttering “Jesus, fuck.”
“Text your mom, Jay. Tell her you’re coming to my house for dinner,” Jensen
suggested.
“Yeah,” Jared agreed, his voice hitching. “Sounds good.”
===============================================================================
Jared had no idea how he got through the rest of rehearsal. Every damn glimpse
he got of Jensen made his cock stir, to the point where he had to stop watching
Eric—it was too easy to let his eyes slide to Jensen—just so he could get
through until 5:30 without having to excuse himself to jerk off.
His only consolation was the fact that Jensen seemed to be having as much
trouble as he was. His face was flushed, his fingers occasionally asemitone off
where they should have been. Eric shot a look of concern his way once or twice,
but Jensen just shrugged in response.
When rehearsal finally ended, Jared didn’t think he’d ever packed up his cello
so fast. He stood up, case in hand, only to see that Jensen had been checking
out his ass.
“Subtle,” he teased. Jensen laughed, grabbing his hand.
“I do try. Come on, let’s go. Your mom said it was okay?”
“Yeah, I’ve got to be home at ‘a reasonable time’, though,” Jared said, rolling
his eyes.
“Well, it is a school night,” Jensen stated solemnly. They glanced at one
another, both cracking up as they headed outside and towards Jensen’s car.
===============================================================================
Jared hadn’t actually thought too hard about where Jensen lived, so he was
surprised when they pulled into the driveway of a house probably less than five
minutes’ drive away from his own. 
“You can leave your cello in here if you want. I’ll lock it up and everything,”
Jensen promised, and Jared nodded. He followed Jensen into the house, and was
pleasantly surprised when Jensen reached over and grabbed his hand.
Jensen let them into the house as his mother came out of the living room. Jared
could immediately see where Jensen got his eyes from; his smile, too, as she
noticed their joined hands.
“Jay, this is my mom, Donna; Mom, this is Jared,” Jensen introduced them, and
Jared smiled awkwardly at her. To his surprise, Donna came over to them and
gave Jared a hug.
“I’m so happy to finally meet you, Jared,” she said sincerely. “Are you staying
for dinner?”
“If that’s all right, Mrs. Ackles,” Jared replied. Jensen and his mom both
laughed.
“Oh please, sweetie, call me Donna. Mrs. Ackles makes me feel old.”
Jared grinned at her, and she smiled back warmly.
“Dinner won’t be until about seven; your father got stuck in a meeting, so I’ll
just call you guys down when it’s ready, okay?” she said. Jared’s eyes widened
as she went back into the living room.
“Dude, your mom is awesome,” he whispered.
Jensen smiled. “Yeah, she’s pretty cool,” he agreed. “Come on, I’ll show you my
room.”
Jared’s heart skipped a beat as he followed Jensen up the stairs and into his
bedroom. The door was barely closed behind them when Jensen grabbed him,
pulling him close and kissing him feverishly. Jared wrapped his arms around
Jensen’s neck, pressing up against him as they stumbled back to the bed and
tumbled down on it.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jared gasped as Jensen’s lips moved down his neck, his
hands skimming the waistband of Jared’s jeans. “You’re going to drive me
fucking insane, you know that?”
Jensen laughed, his breath hot and harsh against Jared’s skin. “You and me
both,” he muttered, yanking Jared’s t-shirt over his head. Jared started
kissing Jensen’s neck as he worked the buttons on his shirt open and tugged it
off.
“Holy shit,” he murmured, flipping them over so that Jensen was on his back. He
started licking his way down Jensen’s chest, smiling when Jensen groaned. His
tongue moved down past Jensen’s navel until he hit clothing, and then he pulled
back a little, trying to get the fly undone.
“Fuck,” Jensen whispered as Jared popped the zipper open. His boxers were tight
enough not to leave much to the imagination, and Jared gasped as Jensen tugged
them down past his hips.
Jensen’s cock was hard and leaking precome; it was big enough to a mostly
inexperienced Jared that he was equal parts turned on and terrified. He wrapped
one hand around it hesitantly and was immediately rewarded when Jensen moaned.
“Come here and kiss me, Jay,” Jensen gasped, and Jared stretched out to lie
beside him. They started kissing, deep and dirty, and Jared began to jerk
Jensen off. It took him a while to get used to the different angle, but from
the noises Jensen was making against his lips, he was doing all right.
Jared was hyperconscious of everything, from the way Jensen’s dick throbbed and
twitched in his hand to the point at which his breathing picked up. He heard
Jensen choke out a strangled “Gonna—” before he came all over Jared’s hand and
his own stomach. Jared stroked him through the aftershocks; Jensen turned his
face back to Jared’s, kissing him lazily as his breathing returned to normal.
As soon as Jensen calmed down, he grinned at Jared, kissing his way down
Jared’s body. Jared hissed as Jensen’s hands worked him out of his jeans and
underwear, his fingers skimming the sensitive skin on Jared’s hips.
Jensen grinned up at him, his mouth so close to Jared’s dick Jared could feel
his hot breath, before he licked a stripe from the base of Jared’s cock to the
head. Jared swore, bunching the sheets up underneath him in his hands as he
felt Jensen’s mouth enclose the head of his dick. 
Jared tried his hardest to concentrate on not coming as Jensen took more of him
in, his senses overloading. Jensen held his hip down with one hand, trying to
stop Jared from thrusting into the back of his throat, and Jared reached down
to cover Jensen’s hand with his own.
It wasn’t anywhere near as long as Jared would have liked before he tugged on
Jensen’s hair, trying to warn him how close he was to coming, all powers of
speech gone. Jensen hummed against his dick, but didn’t let up as Jared tumbled
over the edge, stars exploding behind his eyes.
It took a while for Jared to come back to reality but when he did, Jensen had
come back up to lie beside him, his arms wrapped around Jared’s waist. Jared
smiled lazily, pulling him closer and pressing his lips to Jensen’s collarbone.
Suddenly, there was a sharp ding—ding—ding! from downstairs. It sounded like
one of those silver bells that sometimes sat on shop counters, and Jensen
started laughing.
“Come on, dinner’s ready,” he said, passing Jared his jeans.
Jared grinned as he pulled them over his legs. “You guys have a dinner bell?”
Jensen nodded as he got dressed. “Yeah, my mom has a really weird sense of
humor.” He wound his hand in Jared’s as they went downstairs together.
===============================================================================
Jared had a frank discussion with Jensen’s parents over dinner about why his
own parents didn’t know about he and Jensen. Donna looked as though she had a
few choice things she’d like to say about Jared’s father, but she was keeping
her mouth shut out of respect. She promised Jared that neither she nor her
husband would ever say anything without Jared’s permission, and that he was
always welcome in their house no matter what. 
Jensen’s dad, Alan, didn’t say much, but he nodded agreement with whatever his
wife said. After the serious discussion was over, Jared and Alan started
talking animatedly about basketball; apparently, Alan had played right up until
a few years ago, when a knee injury started recurring if it was jarred too
much. He pointed out that Jared would be a valuable player on any team simply
due to his height, and Jared told him all about his brother, Jeff, who hit 6’
6” before he left for college.
The whole time, Jensen held his hand under the table, his thumb stroking the
skin on the inside of Jared’s wrist. The feeling was absolutely wonderful.
===============================================================================
It was a little after nine when Jensen dropped Jared home, and about 9:15 by
the time Jared actually got inside. As he was walking up the stairs, he heard
his father call his name from his parents’ bedroom.
He hovered in the doorway and smiled awkwardly at him. “What’s up, Dad?”
Gerry took his glasses off and looked over at Jared. “You know, son,” he said
conversationally, “I remember being your age. You don’t have to hide anything
from your mother and I.”
Jared flinched slightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he blurted.
His dad chuckled. “You’re not exactly subtle, Jared; you’ve been walking around
here on cloud nine lately. Who is she?”
Jared swallowed and met his father’s gaze; his father, who would hate him
forever if he knew what his son was doing with his spare time. “It’s someone
from orchestra,” he said quietly; not a lie, but certainly not the whole truth
either.
Gerry nodded, then reached into the pocket of the jacket laid on the edge of
the bed. He pulled a paper bag with a drug store logo emblazoned on it and
handed Jared a box. Jared glanced down at it, his eyes widening as he realized
it was a box of condoms. He looked back up at his father, his eyes questioning.
“Now, I know your mother and I raised you right,” Gerry said, “but I also
remember being a teenage boy, and I want to know that you’re being responsible.
Okay?”
Jared nodded. “Sure,” he agreed, heading for the door.
“Oh, and Jared?” his father said as Jared’s back was turned.
“Yeah?”
“There’s no need to tell your mother about this, okay?”
Jared laughed shortly. “No worries there, Dad,” he promised, before fleeing to
his room.
He sent Jensen a text. Lol wtf my dad just gave me condoms so i don’t knock u
up
The reply came back a moment later: Well thats a relief. Id hate it if u got me
pregnant, u wouldnt love me anymore
Jared grinned. Aw baby, i’d love u even if u were pregnant. i would whore u out
to womens magazines tho, just fyi
Lol, as long as u split the money with me im ok with that
Jared laughed. I promise 2 split the money from your freakish unscientific
pregnancy with u
Well good, Jensen replied. As long as we have that settled
===============================================================================
Jared walked into the cafeteria with Tom on Monday and started making his way
to the table where their other friends were sitting. Before they were more than
halfway across, though, there was a familiar, warm voice in Jared’s ear.
“You can come sit with me if you want, Jay,” Jensen said. Jared turned around
and grinned at him.
“Hey! Yeah, I’d love to,” he said, giving Tom a half-wave. “I’ll catch you
later, man.”
Tom scowled, looking Jensen up and down. “Sure, if you’d rather sit with some
fag than us then go ahead,” he spat.
Jensen tensed beside him, but Jared just shrugged. “Actually, Tom, I’d rather
sit with my boyfriend than your homophobic ass any fucking day.” He grabbed
Jensen’s hand, trusting him to lead the way.
Neither of them said a word until they sat down at a table with a few seniors
Jared didn’t recognize.
“You really didn’t have to do that, Jay,” Jensen said quietly. “You might have
caused yourself some trouble.”
Jared shrugged. “You going to introduce me to your friends?” he asked,
desperate to change the subject. 
Jensen squeezed his hand and introduced him to Danneel, Adrianne and Mike—the
same Mike that Jensen had been telling the shaving cream story about at
orchestra. They were all lovely, and obviously really close. The two girls were
mostly wrapped up in their own conversation, with Mike occasionally joining in,
but mostly concentrating on his food.
“So, Jared,” Mike finally said, turning in his chair to fix Jared with a
piercing gaze. “Has our little Jennybean managed to get you into bed yet?”
Jared choked on his French fry. There was a muffled thump from under the table,
and Jared guessed that Jensen had booted Mike in the shin.
“Oh, please,” Danneel said, rolling her eyes. “Just because you haven’t gotten
laid in, oh, at least six months doesn’t mean you get to live vicariously
through anyone else.”
Beside Jared, Jensen snorted. “It’s fine, Danni,” he said. “If Mike wants
details...” he leaned into the table, lowering his voice suggestively, “I’m
happy to give him details.”
Mike looked horrified and quickly pulled his chair back a few inches. “You know
what? I think I’m okay,” he said hurriedly. Everyone started laughing at his
expression.
“It’s a shame you don’t like details about your friends’ sex lives,” Adrianne
said sadly. “Because me and Danneel were all prepared to tell you about how we
got a little too drunk at this party last weekend...”
Mike’s eyes bulged. “Party? What party? Why the hell was I not at this party?!”
he demanded. Both the girls started cracking up. “I swear to God, if you are
taunting me with false information about lesbian encounters, I will
be very unhappy.”
Adrianne pursed her lips. “False, no,” she said. “Recorded on someone’s phone
somewhere, probably. That’ll teach you for being an unsociable dick last
weekend.”
Mike let off a string of curses at the realization that he’d chosen to stay
home and play Heavy Rain rather than see his gorgeous best friends drunkenly
make out.
Jared caught Jensen’s eye, grinning. It was nice hanging out with a few of
Jensen’s friends, and Jensen seemed relaxed enough after the tense start to
their lunch break.
“If you wanna meet me in the parking lot, I can give you a ride home,” Jensen
offered, running his thumb along the skin on Jared’s hand before they both
stood up. “That’s if you’re not sick of me,” he added.
Jared pretended to think. “Nah, not sick of you. Yet,” he finally said.
Jensen bumped their shoulders together. “Smartass.”
===============================================================================
A few weeks later on the way home from orchestra, Jensen cleared his throat.
“Hey, uh... my parents are away this weekend. You know, if you want to come
over or... whatever.”
It wasn’t like Jensen to be so nervous and Jared frowned at Jensen before it
dawned on him that Jensen’s parents going away meant a whole house to
themselves. He felt his face split into a huge grin.
“That sounds awesome, Jensen,” he said. Jensen stole a glance at him out of the
corner of his eye. 
“Awesome,” he agreed. “So, you can just come over after school on Friday,
yeah?”
Jared nodded. “Yeah, that sounds...”
“Awesome?” Jensen teased.
Jared laughed. “Yeah, awesome.”
===============================================================================
They met in the parking lot that Friday afternoon after school, Jared carrying
a bag over his shoulder.
“Change of clothes,” he explained at Jensen’s quizzical look. “I’m hoping I
won’t have much need of them, but, you know, keeping up appearances.”
Jensen smirked, his gaze heated. “I was hoping you didn’t actually think you’d
be wearing much this weekend,” he said. Jared shook his head.
“Definitely not.”
Jensen grinned at him as he unlocked the car. “Good,” he said firmly. He
dropped his voice and added, “Because I’m planning on having you naked and
strung out on my bed really, really soon.”
Jared’s legs buckled at the promise as he opened the passenger door.
===============================================================================
When they walked into Jensen’s house, Jensen turned to Jared, cupping his face
in his hands and kissing him tenderly.
“I love you so much, Jay,” he said, his voice tight with emotion.
Jared smiled. They hadn’t said the words before but he did love Jensen, he’d
known it for weeks. “I love you, too,” he promised, before his grin turned
devious. “Now will you take me to bed?”
Jensen threw his head back and laughed. “Gladly,” he said, hooking his fingers
in Jared’s belt loops and dragging them both up the stairs.
When they got to Jensen’s room, Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen’s neck and
kissed him deeply. He pushed Jensen back onto the bed and climbed on top of
him, straddling his thighs as he pulled Jensen’s shirt over his head.
Jensen removed Jared's shirt as Jared started running his hands over Jensen’s
chest. Jensen groaned as Jared's hand brushed a nipple and he moved back to
tease it with more deliberation.
“Fuck,” Jensen hissed, pushing his hips up sharply as Jared lightly pinched his
nipple, reaching down to take the other in his teeth. The sound that escaped
Jensen at that point was absolutely guttural, a deep groan that had Jared
instantly, blindingly hard as he pressed up against Jensen's thigh. 
Jensen gazed up at him, his pupils blown with lust. "Want you to fuck me, Jay.
Please," he whispered. Jared grinned at the sight of his boyfriend, desperate
and begging, and realised how much he liked it.
“I guess I could do that,” he growled into Jensen's neck, licking and sucking a
bruise into the perfect skin. “For you.”
“Yeah, you won't be getting anything out of it at all... oh Jesus, fuck yes,”
Jensen hissed as Jared's hand skimmed his fly.
“You think I should get you out of these?” Jared murmured. Jensen nodded
quickly.
Jared deftly undid Jensen's fly, easing the pants over his hips and down his
legs, dragging his underwear with it, and Jared had to focus on the act of
breathing.
They’d messed around a lot since that first time, getting closer and closer to
fucking each time, but Jared wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to the sight of
Jensen when he was naked. His eyes traveled from Jensen’s neck and chest, where
he'd already left several marks and was planning on leaving many more before
the weekend was over, and down his hips before his eyes were drawn to Jensen's
hard cock, leaking precome onto his stomach as Jensen unintentionally made
small thrusting movements with his hips.
“C'mon, Jay, please,” Jensen groaned, and that was all the encouragement Jared
needed to bend down and take Jensen's cock in his mouth, something he’d never
tried before.
Jensen keened, a high pitched noise he’d deny until his deathbed, winding his
hands in Jared’s overlong hair. Jared grinned, licking his way up the shaft
before taking it back into his mouth.
Jensen tasted like salt and something uniquely him, and Jared found that he
really liked the flavor. As he got bolder, he moved one hand between Jensen’s
legs.
Jensen gasped as Jared's finger started circling his hole, tightening his grip
on Jared's hair. By the time Jared was ready to slide a finger in, there was a
filthy stream of obscenities pouring out of Jensen's mouth, interspersed with
the odd “More, God, please.”
Jared grinned, his mouth slipping off Jensen's dick for a moment. “Lube?” he
panted, the effort of keeping himself under control starting to get to him.
Jensen scrambled in his drawer, quickly finding a bottle of lube and a condom.
Jared uncapped the bottle, pouring a generous amount of lube onto his fingers
and blushed.
“You might have to talk me through this a bit,” he muttered, embarrassed, but
Jensen just smiled lazily.
“What you’ve been doing has been fucking amazing,” Jensen promised, slightly
breathless. Jared chuckled before wrapping his lips around Jensen’s dick again.
As Jensen moaned, Jared slid two fingers inside him, and Jensen thrust his hips
up involuntarily.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Jared, you’re fucking incredible,” he hissed. Jared
chuckled, pulling away to take a good look at Jensen squirming on the bed.
“Anyone ever told you you’ve got a filthy fucking mouth on you when you’re
horny?” he asked before deciding to try something he’d read about a while back.
“Shut the fuck up and— fuck!” Jensen cut himself off with a strangled moan as
Jared twisted his fingers up. Jensen’s hands scrabbled for purchase in the
sheets as his breathing picked up, and Jared thanked God and Google for helping
him find the prostate.
“Oh my God, just... please, fuck,” Jensen half-moaned, half-whispered and Jared
grinned to himself; he really needed to take the time to make Jensen beg more
often – later. He pulled himself to up balance on his knees, rolling the condom
on and slicking himself up with lube before positioning himself.
“Now, Jay,” Jensen groaned, and Jared slid inside in one smooth stroke,
bottoming out before stopping, face to face with Jensen. Jared thought that if
he never had to move from right here, deep inside his boyfriend with Jensen’s
legs wrapped around his waist, he could die happy.
They gazed at each other for a moment, Jared pressing a soft kiss to Jensen's
lips. “Ready?” he asked, a teasing note to his voice.
“Fucking do it,” Jensen growled, and that was all the encouragement Jared
needed. He started to pull out, spellbound by how fucking tight Jensen was,
before pushing in all the way again.
“Harder,” Jensen demanded, and Jared let go, fucking them into the mattress.
Their bodies were slick with sweat, Jensen’s legs trying to pull Jared closer.
Jared felt his balls begin to tighten, and instinctively wrapped a hand around
Jensen’s cock. Jensen gasped, panting out sounds that were possibly Jared's
name; it was hard to tell at that point. Then Jensen cried out—definitely
Jared’s name that time—and came hard, splattering their stomachs. The sight
sent Jared tumbling over the edge with him, his face buried in Jensen’s neck as
he whispered, “I love you.”
It took them a while to come down, their limbs still entangled.
“We should shower,” Jensen whispered after a couple of minutes.
Jared laughed. “That might be a good idea,” he agreed.
Jensen glanced up at him. “Join me?” he suggested hopefully. 
Jared’s answering grin was blinding.
===============================================================================
When they stepped out of the shower, not bothering with clothes once they were
dry, Jared spotted Jensen’s violin case propped up under his music stand in the
corner of the room.
“Will you play me something?” he asked, gesturing towards it. Jensen followed
the direction of his gaze and flushed.
“You want me to play my violin for you? Why?” he asked. 
Jared kissed his shoulder. “Because you’re fucking beautiful when you play,” he
answered honestly, grinning when Jensen blushed deeply.
“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Jensen muttered, unpacking his violin and rosining
his bow. “Anything you want me to play for you, perve?”
Jared laughed. “Whatever you like,” he said as Jensen quickly tuned.
Jensen thought about it for a second before he touched his bow to the strings
and began to play from memory.
Jared’s breath caught in his throat. He’d admired Jensen’s musical ability
since the day they met, but absolutely nothing compared to this; the way
Jensen’s eyes were locked on his own as his fingers moved deftly across the
strings.
Jared let out a shaky breath as Jensen played the final note. Jensen smiled
awkwardly at him.
“Did you like?” he asked hesitantly. Jared’s eyes widened.
“Jensen, you’re amazing,” he said sincerely. “I don’t know the piece; what was
it?”
“Fantasia in F minor,” Jensen told him. “Telemann is one of my favorites.”
Jared got up off the bed and walking over to Jensen. “I think he might be one
of mine now, too,” he grinned, kissing him softly. Suddenly aware that they
were both still naked, he took the bow out of Jensen’s hand and laid it gently
on the music stand. “Now will you come back to bed?”
Jensen laughed, putting his violin down. “Gladly.”
===============================================================================
Jared spent the weeks leading up to Christmas officially freaking out over the
upcoming holiday. He tried to get some hint as to what Jensen wanted without
actually asking him, but Jensen either didn’t get it or was deliberately not
answering the question.
In desperation, he asked Jensen’s mom one day while Jensen was in the bathroom
before dinner. Donna thought hard before replying.
“Well, he wears a lot of jewelry,” she offered finally. “I bet if you bought
him something special he’d love it.”
Jared frowned. Now that she mentioned it, Jensen did usually have a chain
around his neck and a couple of rings on his right hand. He couldn’t believe
jewelry hadn’t occurred to him already. He grinned.
“Thanks, Donna,” he said, giving her a hug on impulse. She pulled him close for
a moment before letting him go, smiling fondly at him.
“You want to grab the knives and forks out of the drawer for me?” she asked.
===============================================================================
That night, Jared went online shopping. He hunted for hours before finally
finding the perfect gift – a gorgeous titanium bracelet that he knew would look
great on Jensen. It was a hundred and fifty dollars, but Jared had more than
enough in his savings account and the prepaid Visa his parents had given him.
He transferred the money over in his internet banking and added the bracelet to
his shopping cart. He hesitated before checking out, going back to the main
page and finding his mom a stunning pair of earrings for twenty-five dollars,
adding them as well. It wasn’t an entirely selfless purchase—Jared knew he
needed a way to explain the Macy’s package that would turn up for him in a few
days.
===============================================================================
Christmas was for family—and church—in the Padalecki house, but Jared managed
to sneak away for a few hours on the afternoon of Christmas Eve to meet Jensen
at his house.
There were two presents with Jared’s name on them under Jensen’s tree; one from
Jensen himself, the other from Jensen’s family. Donna was on her way out the
door with Jensen’s sister to do some last-minute shopping, but she paused to
give Jared a hug and tell him he was allowed to open his present today, her
eyes twinkling as she spoke. Jared blushed, pleasantly surprised that they’d
bought him something. 
He unwrapped the present from the Ackles’ first; a couple of boxes of rosin and
a Barnes & Noble gift card. Jared grinned, making a mental note to thank them
all profusely when he next saw them.
Jensen picked up his present to Jared from under the tree, his expression oddly
shy. He handed it to Jared with a small smile; Jared pulled him close and
kissed him before he unwrapped his gift. 
It was a music folder. Jared opened it up to reveal pages and pages of
handwritten sheet music; mostly cello solos, but a couple were duets to be
played with a violin. There were twelve pieces in all, and Jared had flicked
through half a dozen before he noticed the name of the composer in the top
right-hand corner.
“Holy shit, you wrote these?” he whispered. Jensen bit his lip.
“You’re hard to shop for, Jay,” he joked. Jared set the folder carefully down
on the coffee table before grabbing his boyfriend by the shirt, kissing him
hard.
“It’s perfect,” he said quietly before stepping away. “My present’s going to
look lame in comparison, but... here,” he added, handing Jensen his gift.
Jensen took it with a small smile, untying the bow and pulling the paper off
before opening the box. Jensen’s jaw dropped as he pulled out the bracelet.
“Jared, this is... oh, my God,” he said quietly.
Jared blushed. “I hope that’s a good thing,” he teased, unable to keep the
nervousness out of his voice.
Jensen met his eyes. “Are you kidding? Jay, this is so beautiful. I don’t
deserve this.”
“Yes, you do,” Jared murmured, blushing. He took the bracelet out of Jensen’s
hand and fastened it over his wrist, grinning.
“Looks good on you,” he said, entwining their hands. 
Jensen leaned in and kissed him so softly, Jared could have almost imagined it.
“Not as good as having your hand in mine, though,” he murmured against Jared’s
lips.
===============================================================================
After Christmas, they didn’t get to spend as much time together as either of
them would have liked. Jensen was dealing with college applications; Jared
tried talking to him about them, but Jensen didn’t want to worry about it until
he knew where he was accepted. If he refused to talk about it then there wasn’t
really much Jared could do, but the idea of Jensen going out of state to
college—which he knew Jensen was considering, though he didn’t know
where—really worried him. 
He loved Jensen, and he knew Jensen loved him, but a long-distance relationship
would be hard; not to mention that Jensen was sure to get shit for having a
sophomore boyfriend back home.
The last thing Jared wanted to be was the guy who held his boyfriend back; the
last thing Jensen deserved was to end up going to some second-rate university
because he thought Jared would want him close. His biggest fear was that Jensen
would sell himself short for his benefit, and end up resenting Jared for it
when he finally understood how much more he could have done with his life.
It was when he started thinking too hard about it that he realized Jensen was
right; there was no point worrying about it until Jensen knew who wanted him
and where he wanted to go.
===============================================================================
Jensen was in New York on his eighteenth birthday at the beginning of March.
Jared knew he was looking at colleges there, but that was all the information
he was getting out his boyfriend. He understood why, but it still hurt.
Jensen got back to San Antonio on the sixth and picked up Jared for rehearsal
the next day as usual. Jared tried to talk about Jensen’s week, but Jensen kept
changing the subject.
When Jensen dropped him off that night, he kissed Jared like the world was
ending, like he wanted to remember the feeling forever. Jared returned the kiss
with as much passion as he could muster; but on the inside, he was shaking.

===============================================================================
After orchestra one evening in April, Jensen asked if Jared wanted to go out to
dinner that Friday. His jaw was tight, and Jared figured he must have made a
decision. And whatever it was, Jared was definitely not going to like it.
===============================================================================
Jared was counting down the minutes until the end of the day in English on
Friday afternoon. The clock was ticking ever slower in a bid to irritate him as
Ms. Foster droned on about the importance of linking sentences. His foot tapped
against the floorboards, desperate to get out and get ready for his dinner with
Jensen.
A quarter-hour before the bell, there was a knock on the door. Ms. Foster
suppressed a sigh as she admitted the visitor. Jared blinked, then felt a grin
split his face as Jensen walked through the door, a stack of papers in his
hand.
“Hey, Ms. Foster. I got roped into delivering a message about finals to all the
freshman classes,” Jensen smiled at her, handing over one of the papers in his
hand. The teacher scanned it quickly, then nodded at him.
“Thank you, Jensen; I’ll pass this on,” she assured him before turning back to
the class. “Now, who can give me a bad example of a linking sentence? Jared?”
Out of the corner of his eye, Jared saw Jensen automatically react to the name,
glancing up and freezing with his mouth slightly agape as his eyes met Jared’s.
Jared offered a small smile, but Jensen didn’t react; instead, he turned and
left the room.
Jared frowned at the now-closed door as his teacher cleared her throat.
“Mister Padalecki!” she barked, drawing the ‘e’ sound out too long as she
always did. “A bad linking sentence, please!”
Jared shrugged, staring down at the desk. “I’m sorry, I don’t know,” he said
quietly.
Ms. Foster pursed her lips. “Anyone else?” she directed to the room at large.
No one else knew what she was talking about, so she went into another rant.
Jared felt his cell phone vibrate, and carefully slid it out of his pocket,
hoping not to attract her attention.
I have something 2 do right after school. can u meet me by my locker about 4?
He sent back a quick Sure just before the bell rang. He picked up his books and
dumped them in his own locker before heading to the library. Maybe he could
master linking sentences before he met Jensen.
===============================================================================
At five to four, Jared was leaning against his boyfriend’s locker as Jensen
came round the corner. Jared grinned at him, but his smile quickly faded when
he took in the tautness of Jensen’s jaw, the way the tendons on his hands stood
out; they were balled into fists.
“Shit, Jen, what’s wrong?” Jared asked softly, trying to wrap his arms around
him. Jensen tensed and pulled away, his eyes downcast.
“Jared, I’ve been thinking,” he started, and Jared sucked in a breath.
“That doesn’t sound good,” he said quietly.
Jensen laughed bitterly. “It’s not that, Jared. It’s just… I refuse to believe
you suck at English.”
Jared frowned, not following. “I don’t,” he said. “I mean, I’m not top of the
class or whatever, but I get mostly A’s. Why would you think I suck at
English?”
“I hoped that you were in freshman English because you really suck at it,”
Jensen confessed.
“Jensen, I’m in freshman English because I’m a freshman,” Jared said slowly.
“You knew that.”
Jensen’s head snapped up, meeting Jared’s eyes for the first time. “Jared, I
thought you were a junior. I mean, Jesus, look at you; you’re tall and
confident and talented and smart and gorgeous. When you said you weren’t a
senior, I just assumed... so if you’re not a junior, how old are you?”
Jared swallowed hard. “Jensen—” he started. 
Jensen cut him off. “Just answer the question, Jared!”
“I’m fifteen,” Jared said softly.
“Fuck!” Jensen yelled, slamming his hand against the locker. Jared flinched as
the sound reverberated off the walls.
“Jen, come on,” he tried, reaching out. Jensen shied away from his touch.
“No, Jared. No,” he snapped. “Jesus, do the words ‘statutory rape’ mean
anything to you?”
Jared’s stomach clenched. It was six months since he and Jensen got together,
and even after Jensen turned eighteen the thought had never once entered his
head.
“Wait, hang on,” he said. “I thought we had a close in age law?”
Jensen snorted. “We do, Jared. If you’re straight,” he hissed. “It’s perfectly
all right for me to fuck a fifteen year old girl, but not you. Jesus,” he said
again, sounding close to tears.
Jared tried to reach for him one more time, but Jensen pushed him away. “Just
go home, Jared,” he said, sinking down to the floor.
It went against every instinct he had to leave Jensen there on the ground, but
Jared knew he wasn’t doing any good by staying. He started to walk away, but
froze when he heard a hoarse “Oh, and Jared?”
“Yeah?” Jared muttered.
“You should probably find another ride to orchestra on Sunday.”
***** Third Movement *****
Instead of going out to dinner with his boyfriend, Jared ended up going to
Chad’s.
Thankfully, it was Chad himself who opened the door. He took one look at
Jared’s red and swollen eyes and dragged him straight into his bedroom.
“Stay there, I’ll be right back,” he said before disappearing. Jared sank down
onto the floor, leaned against the wall and tried not to start crying again. He
felt like shit, and the worst part was knowing that it was mostly his fault. He
closed his eyes, trying to wish the world away.
When Chad came back through the door he jumped and looked up. Chad was holding
a bottle of vodka in one hand—not very well hidden under a black hoodie—and a
bottle of Coke and a couple of plastic cups in the other. Jared sighed,
wondering if he even needed to ask. As it turned out, he didn’t.
“Told my brother you looked like shit,” Chad said, pouring them both drinks
that were at least half alcohol. “What the fuck happened?”
Jared downed most of his drink and waited for the warmth to spread through.
“Apparently,” he said, “I failed to mention a small detail to Jensen.”
Chad screwed up his nose. “Do I wanna know, man?”
Jared laughed humorlessly. “He thought I was a junior. When he found out I was
fifteen he freaked the fuck out about statutory rape and dumped me.”
Chad swore under his breath. “That’s rough, man,” he said. “Another drink?”
Jared looked from the cup in his hand to the bottle and back again. “You know
what, fuck it,” he said. “Fill me up. At least I won’t have to fucking think
for a while.”
Chad nodded, pouring some more vodka into both their cups. “Dude, you should
probably text your mom while you’re still reasonably sober. Tell her you’re
staying here; that way she won’t see you when you’re hung over as fuck.”
Jared nodded. “Good idea, man. Thanks.”
===============================================================================
Jared had never been hung over before and when he woke up on Saturday morning,
he wondered how people could deal with this regularly. His head spun, the light
from a chink in the curtain burning through his eyelids and into his retinas.
He groaned and pulled the blanket over his head. His back was aching from
sleeping on the floor in Chad’s room, where he’d passed out at some point after
they finished off the vodka.
He rolled over, intending to get up and shut the curtains properly, but the
second he tried to move, his body started screaming at him. He retched and
dashed for the bathroom, barely making it before he started heaving over the
toilet bowl.
When he was done, he turned the cold water on and stuck his whole face under
the faucet, trying to shock himself awake. When that didn’t work, he opened the
cupboard on the wall and groaned in relief when he found some aspirin.
Knocking back the painkillers, he stumbled back to Chad’s room and pulled the
blanket over his head. He was off alcohol for life.
===============================================================================
That Sunday, it was blatantly obvious to everyone there that Jared and Jensen
were avoiding each other. Katie took one look at Jared’s face—not only had he
been crying, but he still hadn’t totally recovered from his crash course in
drowning your sorrows—and gave him a hug.
“It’ll be okay, sweetie,” she promised, but Jared didn’t believe her.
After that, rehearsals were a painful reminder of what he’d had. Jensen
wouldn’t talk to him; wouldn’t even look at him. Eventually, Jared stopped
trying.
===============================================================================
A few days later, Jensen’s friend Adrianne stopped him in the hallway and gave
him a hug.
“It’ll all be all right in the end, Jared,” she promised. Jared forced a smile
at her.
“Thanks,” he muttered. It was a nice gesture, but he couldn’t imagine feeling
all right for a long time.
===============================================================================
Jared moped around the house for weeks before his mother finally sat him down,
her face pinched with worry.
“Jared, what’s wrong?” she asked. “You’ve been so happy for so long; all of a
sudden you’re walking around like someone kicked your puppy in the face.”
Jared shrugged. “Just stressed about school, I guess.”
“Bullshit,” Sherri snapped, and Jared stared at her. His mother never swore.
“Yes, you heard me,” she added. “Sweetheart, this isn’t stress; you’re really
hurting about something, and I wish you’d let me help.”
“There’s nothing you can do, Mom,” Jared said quietly. Sherri sighed.
“Jared, what happened to Jensen? You were spending heaps of time with him, now
you never mention him. Did you two have a fight or something? He seems like
such a nice boy.”
Jared laughed, his voice bitter and choked. “You really want to know what
happened to Jensen, Mom? He broke up with me. That’s what happened to him.”
Sherri gasped, but she wrapped her arm around his shoulders and pulled him
close. “Baby, why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered, sounding close to tears.
Jared started crying. “Because I thought you’d hate me,” he confessed, tears
trickling down his cheeks. His mom pulled away.
“Jared, I could never hate you. How could you ever think that?” she asked,
sounding hurt.
Jared looked away. “It wasn’t really you so much, more Dad,” he said.
Sherri frowned. “You think your father would hate you? Why?”
“I remember Uncle Tony, Mom,” he said, sniffing. “I remember Dad throwing him
out, and I remember why. He told him God would see him rot in hell—I couldn’t
hear him say that to me, Mom, I couldn’t,” Jared sobbed.
Sherri ran a hand through his hair. “I didn’t realize you remembered that,
baby,” she said quietly, “but you don’t know the full story.”
“Does it matter?” Jared demanded.
Sherri closed her eyes; when she opened them again, she looked as though she
was about to cry herself.
“I hoped I’d never, ever have to tell you or your sister about Uncle Tony,
Jared, but I think you need to know now,” she said, taking Jared’s hands in her
own. “Sweetie, we always knew Tony was gay. Hell, his partner came to our
wedding. They hadn’t been together long at the time, but Shaun was a lovely
man, and they worked well together. Kind of like you and Jensen,” she added,
shooting a watery smile at him. “But they broke up when you were six and your
brother was ten. To this day I don’t know what happened; I think they just fell
apart. Anyway, it was hard on Tony; he started drinking, and Gerry asked him to
move in here. We were worried about him, you know?”
Sherri stopped to take a deep shuddering breath. “And then one night... one
night he put your brother to bed, and... and he started touching your brother—”
she broke off, swallowing hard.
“Holy shit,” Jared whispered.
Sherri nodded, tears streaming down her face. “Jeff told your dad, and Gerry
confronted him; told him that he was an abomination, that God would see him rot
in hell... then called the police. He’s still in prison.”
Jared was in shock. “So all that stuff Dad said to him... it wasn’t anything to
do with him being gay? It was just that he was molesting kids?” Catching the
look on his mother’s face, he quickly corrected himself. “Not ‘just’ like it’s
not a big deal, but... you know what I mean.”
Sherri hesitated. “I mean, he says things sometimes sweetie but... he doesn’t
mean it. I think what happened to Jeff just really threw him.”
Suddenly, there was a voice from behind them. Gerry had come into the room
while they were talking, his face pinched. “That’s not entirely true, Sherri,”
he said, his voice shaking in anger. “Those fucking faggots are all a bunch of
kiddie-fiddlers. God-hating bastards, the lot of them.”
Sherri gasped, but before she could say anything, Jared got up off the couch.
He was furious; he could take this shit from almost anyone, but he wasn’t going
to take it from his father. 
“Well guess what, Dad?” he spat. “I’m one of those kiddie-fiddling faggots you
hate so much.”
His father flinched. “Don’t say that, Jared,” he said. “Your mother and I
raised you better than that.”
“Don’t you drag me into your bigotry, Gerry,” Sherri snapped from the couch.
“Look, will everyone just calm down? We can talk about this.”
Jared’s fists were balled up as he walked towards his father. “You can’t handle
it, can you? You’d be one of those who thinks it’s my choice, my fault I’m gay.
Isn’t that right?”
Gerry faced him off. “Well, you did always choose the hard way to do
everything, Jared,” he shouted. “Why wouldn’t I think this is just some sort of
teenage rebellion designed to piss off your mother and I?”
Jared laughed bitterly, enraged beyond words. “You know what, Dad?” he said.
“I’m not Uncle Tony, okay? I don’t go around touching up kids. That’s not the
mark of being gay; that’s the mark of being seriously fucked in the head. Maybe
you just can’t fucking handle the fact that you invited him to stay; that
really, what happened to Jeff is your fault!”
There was a loud crack and the room went deadly silent. It took a few seconds
for Jared to register the stinging pain in his cheekbone; when he looked at his
father, Gerry was staring at his fist as though it had acted without his
permission. Neither of them said a word as they stared at one another.
Eventually, Gerry broke the silence.
“I want you out of my house.”
“If he goes, I’m going with him, and I’ll be taking Megan as well,” Sherri
declared. They stared each other down, Jared doing his best to shrink into the
wall. His eye was beginning to sting; he had a feeling it would swell up.
“Fine,” Gerry finally snapped. “Do whatever you want; all I know is, I’m not
having him in my house anymore.” The him was spat in Jared’s direction, who
flinched away from the venom in his father’s voice.
“Jared, go upstairs and tell your sister to start packing her things up. You,
too,” Sherri said firmly. “I’m not staying in this house any longer than I have
to.” Jared nodded and headed for the stairs, hesitating to listen as Sherri
turned to face her husband.
“I’m disappointed in you, Gerry,” she said sadly. “In over twenty years, I have
never seen you raise your hand to anybody; even Tony, you never hit. And you
chose our son to break that habit? Our son, who only wanted to be honest with
his family. No,” she said as Gerry tried to interrupt, “I’m done listening to
you. So here’s the deal: if you let us leave now, without a fuss, and don’t
fight the divorce, then I won’t have you arrested for assault. Are we clear?”
Jared didn’t hear any more; he ran upstairs to Megan’s room.
===============================================================================
By dinnertime, everything they were able to take with them was piled into
Jared’s mom’s car. Megan and Jared sat in the back seat as they drove away from
the home they grew up in, Megan’s head resting on her brother’s shoulder.
Sherri glanced at them in the rear view mirror. “I’ve booked us a motel,” she
said quietly. “We’ll be fine there for a couple of weeks, just until school
ends; then we’ll go and stay with your Aunt Lynda, if that’s all right with
her. I’ll give her a call tonight.”
“In Washington?” Jared asked. He actually quite liked the capital, but it was a
long way away from Texas. “For the summer, or...?”
“I don’t know yet, sweetie,” Sherri sighed. “I don’t know.”
===============================================================================
His mom said he didn’t have to go to orchestra on Sunday if he didn’t want to,
but Jared decided to go. If he was leaving for the summer, he had no idea when
he’d get to see his friends there again, and he wanted to spend as much time
with them as possible. 
If he was being honest with himself, he wanted to see Jensen again, even if
Jensen didn’t want to see him.
When he walked through the door, Katie—obviously watching the door for someone,
so maybe Lauren wasn’t here yet—gasped and ran over to him.
“Jared, what the hell happened?” she asked, taking his cello from him. His eye
had swollen up over the last couple of days, the bruising obvious no matter how
much ice Jared put on it.
Jared laughed awkwardly. “You should see the other guy,” he joked. His gaze
moved past Katie and straight onto Jensen, who looked up when he felt Jared’s
eyes on him. All the blood drained from his face as he took in Jared’s
injuries. Leaving the person he was speaking to mid-conversation, he stormed
over to Jared and Katie, grabbed Jared’s arm without a word and marched him
into the bathroom.
“What the fuck happened?” Jensen demanded, his voice low and deadly.
Jared stared at him. “What the fuck do you care?” he snapped. He’d been waiting
weeks for Jensen to speak to him again and now that he finally was, Jared felt
his anger bubbling over. “You dumped me when you couldn’t fucking handle that I
was a little younger than you thought. Why would I think you’d give a shit
about me now?”
Jensen bit his lip. “I never stopped caring about you, Jay,” he said quietly,
his voice full of emotion. “Please, tell me what happened so I know whose ass I
have to kick.”
Jared sighed, all the fight draining out of him. “My dad thinks, and I quote,
‘all faggots are kiddie-fiddlers’. Apparently he didn’t take too kindly to his
son being one of them.”
Jensen sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Jay, I’m so sorry,” he whispered,
wrapping his arms around Jared and pulling him close. “I’m so fucking sorry.
What’s happening now?”
Jared relished the feeling of having Jensen close to him again, even though he
knew it was temporary at best. “My mom and Megan and I are staying in a motel
until the end of school, then we’re going to D.C.”
“For the summer?” Jensen asked.
“We don’t know yet,” Jared said, meeting his eyes. Jensen was looking straight
at him, his eyes full of love and concern.
Jared didn’t know how it happened but the next moment they were kissing,
pressed up against the wall with Jensen’s hands tangled in his hair. Jared
moaned softly, temporarily silencing the rather large part of his brain telling
him that this was a monumentally stupid thing to be doing with the guy he was
still in love with.
When they finally broke apart Jensen’s lips were swollen, his hair sticking up
in all directions, his shirt a mess. Jared knew he probably didn’t look any
less debauched, and without warning, he started laughing.
“What?” Jensen asked.
Jared shook his head. “Dude, we’re so fucked up.” 
Jensen smiled. “Yeah, but I already knew that. Listen...”
Jared’s smile faded. “Don’t worry about it, Jensen. I’m still underage;
nothing’s changed. I get it, but I can’t hear it again. Please.”
“That’s not what I was going to say,” Jensen said quietly, taking Jared’s
hands. “What I was going to say was... I freaked out, and I fucked up, and I
will never stop being sorry for how much I hurt you. But... I got accepted into
Juilliard, Jay.”
Jared’s jaw dropped. “Holy shit, that’s amazing! Congratulations,” he said
sincerely.
Jensen smiled tightly. “Thanks. But it means... I’m going to New York, you’re
headed to D.C. And apart from that, you’re still fifteen.”
Jared nodded, staring at the floor. “I get it,” he muttered.
“But I’d really like to keep in contact with you this time,” Jensen said
quietly, “if you’d like to. And hey, who knows where you’ll end up going to
college?”
When Jared looked up, there were unshed tears in Jensen’s eyes. Jared gave him
a quick, chaste kiss.
“I’d really like to stay in touch, yeah,” he smiled.
Jensen nodded. “Jared,” he asked hesitantly, biting his lip, “do you want this
back?”
He pulled a box out of his pocket; the Macy’s box his Christmas present had
come in. Jared swallowed and shook his head, forcing a smile.
“No, man, it was a present,” he managed. “Besides, it looks good on you. I
mean, I get it if you don’t really want to wear it, but it’s yours.”
“Okay” Jensen said quietly, slipping the box back in his pocket. “Come on, we
should head back inside.”
===============================================================================
YOSA’s end of year concert was bittersweet. There were a lot of people moving
on; seniors mostly, but Jared was headed out of the state and a couple of other
kids were moving away as well. Eric had even kept his promise to Katie, giving
the cellos a chance to shine when they played a Pirates of the
Caribbean medley.
There were more than a few tears shed afterwards as Jared handed around a piece
of paper, getting everyone’s numbers and promising to keep in touch.
Just before he left, he walked up to Jensen and gave him a hug.
“You’re going to be amazing at Juilliard, Jen,” he said. “Don’t forget me,
okay?”
Jensen nodded. “I won’t,” he promised. “Look after yourself.”
===============================================================================
Jared spent his last night in Texas at Chad’s, having a couple of beers they
sneaked out of the fridge and studiously not talking about how much they were
going to miss each other. Jared offered to have him up during the holidays,
which Chad agreed to, “As long as there are hot girls in the capital, man.”
Jared just laughed. “Yeah, Chad, I’m sure there’ll be hot girls,” he promised.
“Good,” Chad said, leaning back against the wall. “Because otherwise, what the
fuck would be the point in you going?”
Jared looked at him incredulously. “Chad, gay,” he reminded his friend.
Seriously, that was why they were leaving in the first place.
Chad looked momentarily stumped. “Well, I’m sure there’ll be hot guys, too?” he
offered.
Jared laughed shortly. “Thanks, man,” he said, sarcasm evident in his tone.
===============================================================================
It was a long drive to Washington.
Megan spent most of it crying; their mom didn’t look much better. Jared,
though... Jared just felt empty, like his body couldn’t contain any more
emotion, so it just shut down. 
When they finally got to their Aunt Lynda’s house, they were dirty, sweating
and exhausted. Lynda took one look at the three of them and sent them straight
upstairs for showers. She had two bathrooms, so Sherri opted for a coffee while
the kids cleaned themselves first.
By the time Jared came downstairs, he was feeling a lot better. He could tell
his mom had been crying, and he felt awful as she passed him; she managed to
smile, though, so that was something.
Aunt Lynda offered them both a soda and asked Megan if she wanted to take hers
through to the living room. Megan jumped at the chance to take control of the
television for a few minutes and ran out of the kitchen, leaving Lynda and
Jared alone at the counter. 
“So,” his aunt said as she heaped sugar into her tea. “You want to tell me
about Jensen?”
Jared looked up at her. “To be honest, I think if I talk about him I’ll make an
idiot of myself,” he said quietly.
Lynda nodded. “Fair enough,” she said easily. “Hey, I’ve got something to show
you.”
She pulled a brochure out of the drawer and laid it on the counter in front of
Jared, who picked it up.
“Duke of Ellington School of the Fine Arts,” he read aloud. “The only DC public
high school that provides professional arts training and college preparation to
talented DC public school students... holy crap, is this a music school?”
Lynda nodded. “Usually, you have to audition early in the year; February or
March,” she said. “But I talked to someone at the admissions office. I
explained your situation and showed them a video of you performing last year,
and they’re prepared to grant you an interview if you guys decide to stay, and
if you’re interested.”
Jared was flabbergasted. “Of course I’m interested,” he said, excited. “They
seriously want me?”
Lynda grinned at him. “Sounds like it,” she said.
===============================================================================
Sherri, Jared and Megan talked it over and decided that the pros of staying in
Washington far outweighed the cons. Sherri started sending her resume around
the local high schools—as an English teacher, she was often in demand—and they
started looking for a house to rent.
Jared sailed through his interview with Duke of Ellington. They happily offered
him a place, which Jared accepted on the spot. 
Chad and Katie both sent him a text on his sixteenth birthday. Katie wished him
all the best and sent him a virtual hug, while Chad reminded him of his promise
to introduce him to girls.
Jensen sent him a text, too. I hope you have an amazing day, Jared. xoxo
By the time September rolled around, they were more or less settled. Jared
still walked in on his mom crying occasionally and was still wracked with
guilt, no matter how many times she assured him that there was never a choice
once her husband disowned her son. 
Jared’s first day at his new school was nerve-wracking, but he quickly fell
into a niche there. People teased him about his southern accent, but it was all
good-natured enough that Jared could take it in the spirit it was intended. But
the best thing was, this school had an active GSA, which Jared joined during
his first week. He made some great friends there, and nobody looked at him
sideways or muttered things under their breath.
At his third meeting, he worked up the courage to tell everyone why he moved to
Washington. It was the first time he’d told the whole story out loud rather
than an abbreviated version and he shed a few tears as he spoke. The GSA
coordinator used it as an opportunity to talk about how to deal with homophobia
when it came from the people closest to you.
Most of the teenagers there had immediate families who were mostly supportive,
the three people who still weren’t out to their families notwithstanding, but
several had had grandparents disown them, or aunts and uncles refuse to let
them near their cousins.
It was a tough meeting, but Jared came out of it feeling a lot stronger. He
still didn’t feel comfortable talking about Jensen with his friends there,
though. The wounds were still a little too fresh.
===============================================================================
About a month after school started, Jared was at home watching television on a
Saturday afternoon when there was a knock on the door. His mother and Megan
were both upstairs and as far as Jared knew, they weren’t expecting anyone. He
hauled himself up off of the couch and opened the door.
Jensen stood on the other side, biting his lip as Jared’s eyes widened.
Jared didn’t hear his mom come down the stairs until she was standing right
behind him. “Jensen!” she said, surprised. “Are you down here from New York?”
Jensen nodded. “Yes, ma’am—uh, Sherri,” he amended at her stern glance.
“There’s a philharmonic performance that we’re all going to.”
Sherri smiled at him, then shouted up the stairs. “Megan, we’re going
shopping!” she yelled. Jared stared at her, and could have sworn his
mother winked at him.
Megan came thundering down the stairs, smirking when she spotted Jensen. “Are
you sure you want to leave them alone, Mom?” she asked.
Jared stuck his tongue out at her, but Sherri just rolled her eyes. “Get in the
car, Megan,” she said. Megan breezed past them and out the door. 
Sherri dropped a kiss on Jared’s forehead before turning to Jensen. “Behave,”
she said firmly, and Jensen nodded, understanding what she was really asking of
him. Don’t you dare hurt my baby again, her eyes were saying.
“Yes, ma’am,” he teased, and Sherri laughed. She kissed him on the forehead as
well before she left, shutting the door behind her.
Jared and Jensen looked at each other for a long moment.
“You should have texted me,” Jared said. “I mean, it’s great that you’re here,
but—” he broke off, laughing awkwardly— “if I’d known you were coming, I
probably would have taken a shower.”
Jensen laughed. “It was kind of spur of the moment,” he confessed. “I knew we’d
be in the same city and I couldn’t not come see you.”
Jensen had one hand wrapped around his other wrist; a habit Jared knew was born
of nervousness. Jared glanced down, and his breath caught in his throat as he
realized Jensen was wearing the bracelet Jared gave him for Christmas. Jensen
took a step towards him; Jared had the odd, disjointed thought that they were
at eye level now, which meant the growth spurt he’d had since they moved had
seen him reach 6’1”.
“I can’t stop thinking about you, Jay,” Jensen whispered. “Breaking up with you
was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. And I’ve been thinking... it’s only
four hours from New York to here. I can come down probably every second
weekend, and there are holidays... that is, if you can ever forgive me? And
take me back?” He bit his lip, nervous and hopeful.
For an answer, Jared slammed him into the door, their lips crashing together,
tongues meeting in desperation.
Jensen groaned against his mouth, his hands sliding around Jared’s waist. They
were pressed up close enough for Jared to feel how much their kissing was
affecting them both, and he grinned.
“You know,” he managed to gasp against Jensen’s lips, “the age of consent is
sixteen here. I looked it up.”
Jensen pulled back slightly. “Oh my God, Jared, shut the fuck up and take me to
your room,” he laughed.
Jared grinned. “Gladly.”
===============================================================================
Jared had no idea how they made it to his bedroom; only that by the time they
got there, both of them seemed to have lost their shirts. Jensen’s hands were
wound in Jared’s hair as Jared battled with the fly on Jensen’s jeans, not
caring if he damaged them as long as they were off as soon as humanly possible.
Jensen groaned as Jared’s hand skimmed along his dick.
Jensen sat down on the bed and grinned. When Jared tried to follow him Jensen
put a hand on his hip, keeping him upright, before opening Jared’s jeans and
tugging them down around his knees.
Jared struggled to step out of them and keep his balance. Jensen was too busy
laughing to be much help, but eventually they were both naked. Jensen raked his
eyes over Jared, openly appreciative, before finally tugging him down onto the
bed beside him. 
They were both panting and achingly hard, but they took the time to kiss each
other, hands never travelling any lower than their waists. If anything, the
anticipation combined with how long it had been was making everything better.
Their limbs were entwined; Jared couldn’t imagine that they could get any
closer if they tried.
Well, actually, he could think of one way. 
Without warning or reason, they went from making out to something more heated.
Jared couldn’t pinpoint what changed, but suddenly Jensen was rutting—there was
no other word for it—against his thigh. Jared moaned and, throwing self-
restraint to the wind, wrapped his hand around Jensen’s cock.
“Fuck,” Jensen hissed, thrusting up into the touch. “Jay, if you want to fuck
me you’d better fucking do it, ‘cause I’m not going to last long with your
fucking hands on me.”
Jared grinned. “Jesus, Jen, anyone would think you’d been holding out for me,”
he laughed. Pulling back, he noticed the look on Jensen’s face. “Wait,
seriously?”
Jensen regarded him gravely, running a hand down his cheek. “Jared, I haven’t
been able to look at anyone else since the day I met you,” he said, brutal
honesty in his voice. “Not in Texas, not in New York. And hell, it’s not like I
didn’t try to go out and have meaningless sex when I started college—” he broke
off and laughed awkwardly— “but I can’t see anyone but you. It’s fucking
cheesy, but it’s true.”
Jared could feel tears welling up in his eyes and he blinked them back. “I love
you so much, Jen,” he said, his voice choked. “Hell, even when I should have
hated you, I loved you. You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to be with.
You’re the only person I’m ever going to want to be with. And I hope you know
there’s no fucking way I’m letting you leave this house today unless you swear
you’re coming back.”
Jensen bit his lip. “I will never, ever be able to apologize enough for what I
did to you, Jared,” he said softly. Jared went to interrupt him, but Jensen
clamped a hand over his mouth. “No, shut up and let me say this. I can’t make
it up to you... but if you give me some time, I can prove to you that it's not
going to happen again.”
Jared nodded, kissing him hard. “I like the sound of that,” he murmured. The
conversation was getting heavy, so Jared grinned. “Can I fuck you now?” he
asked.
Jensen pursed his lips. “Well, I suppose—” he said, a perfect imitation of
Jared after their first date. Jared burst out laughing, the happiest he’d been
since before he’d left Texas.
“You’re an asshole,” he muttered, grinning. Jensen started kissing his way down
Jared’s neck as Jared scrabbled in his drawer for his lube. His hand hit
something else; the box of condoms his father bought for him to ‘know he was
being responsible’. He snorted at the thought that this probably wasn’t the
kind of responsibility his father had in mind when he gave Jared the box. 
Jensen glanced over at the packet Jared was holding and held his hand out. When
Jared handed them over, Jensen tossed the box across the room. Jared looked at
him quizzically.
“I want to feel you inside me, Jay,” he whispered. “All of you.”
Jared nodded, his heart flooding. “Yeah, okay,” he murmured back, smiling
widely. He uncapped the bottle of lube, drizzling it over his fingers and
sliding two straight into Jensen. He kept his eyes on Jensen as he did so,
watching the way his eyelids fluttered shut and he bit his lip. 
Jared slid a third finger in—Jensen was tighter than he remembered—and was
rewarded with a deep moan. When Jensen started making small thrusting movements
with his hips, Jared pulled back. Before he could slick himself up, though,
Jensen sat up, his pupils blown, and took the bottle away from him. He poured a
liberal amount into his hand and slowly, excruciatingly slowly, slid it along
Jared’s cock. Jared swore, welcoming the touch, and tried to push Jensen back
onto the bed. Jensen wouldn’t go.
“What—?” Jared started to ask before Jensen pulled himself up and into Jared’s
lap.
“This okay?” he asked quietly, lowering himself onto Jared’s dick. Jared bit
his lip and tasted blood. He managed a strangled “Yes” as Jensen raised himself
back up, his eyes locked on Jared’s as he started to ride him.
Jared grabbed Jensen’s hips and began to set the pace. Jensen grinned as he
pressed their foreheads together, dropping kisses all over Jared’s face, his
lips, his neck. 
Jared felt Jensen’s cock pressed between them, hard and leaking, and wrapped
one hand around it. Jensen collapsed into Jared’s shoulder, nipping the skin
there, content to let Jared get them both off.
It wasn’t long before Jensen was gasping, his fingernails digging into Jared’s
back as he came. “Jesus, I love you,” he murmured in Jared’s ear as he tumbled
over the edge; those words were all it took for Jared to come with him. 
As they came down, Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen’s back and pulled him
in close for a kiss, their bodies damp with sweat.
“I think I’m going to need a shower,” Jensen whispered. “Fucking semen.”
Jared laughed. “Just like our first time, right?”
Jensen cocked his head to the side. “Are you going to play the cello for me,
Jay?” he asked. Jared laughed, then realized that Jensen wasn’t.
“Oh crap, are you serious?” he asked, and Jensen smirked.
“I show you mine and you show me yours, right? This is a reciprocal
relationship?” he teased. Jared sighed.
“Fine,” he muttered. “But I’m not as good as you, so I don’t know what the fuck
the appeal is. Go and have your shower, and I’ll see if I can find something.”
Jensen smiled, apparently satisfied, kissing him as he picked up his jeans.
“I’ll be back soon,” he promised, backing out of the room.
Jared sighed, pulling his jeans back over his legs before he picked up his
cello case. There were certain instruments you just didn’t play naked; the
cello was most definitely one of them.
===============================================================================
By the time Jensen came out of the shower, looking gorgeous with his damp hair,
Jared had found a piece—the prelude to Bach’s Cello Suite no. 1—and had set it
up on his music stand. Jensen sat on the bed, his legs crossed; he looked every
inch the attentive audience member.
It was incredibly distracting.
Jared took a deep breath and adjusted his endpin slightly to give himself a
little more time. He knew he was being stupid—this was Jensen, after all—but he
couldn’t stop his hands from shaking slightly as he picked up his bow.
Part of the reason he picked this song was because he knew it so well; it was
an easy piece to lose himself in and he did just that, letting the music speak
for him. His fingers moved confidently up and down the fingerboard as he
relished the feeling of playing from the heart rather than just for technique.
It had been a long time—probably since before he left Texas—since he poured
this much of his soul into his cello. Truth be told, he’d really missed it.
He played the final, double stopped notes and glanced up. Jensen was staring at
him, his jaw hanging open.
“That bad, huh?” Jared joked. Jensen shook his head slightly.
“Jared, you’re fucking amazing.”
Jared blushed deeply. “School’s helping, I guess,” he muttered, busying himself
by packing up his cello again. Jensen got up off the bed and took the cello out
of his hands, laying it gently on the floor before he pulled Jared close,
kissing him on the temple.
“You are so fucking talented,” he murmured, his hands trailing Jared’s spine.
Jared shivered, leaning into the touch. “You’re talented, and smart, and
gorgeous, and you’re so fucking amazing. I don’t deserve you, you know?”
Jared huffed a laugh. “I don’t think I deserve you, you don’t think you deserve
me. Can we just agree that we deserve each other and move on?”
Jensen nodded and leaned in to kiss Jared softly on the lips. “I can definitely
agree to that.” 
Jared heard the door click downstairs and hurriedly grabbed his shirt off the
floor. “As much as I hate to see you put clothes on...” he said wistfully, and
Jensen grinned.
“It’s all right, Jay; I promise you’ll get to see me take my clothes off a lot
more from now on,” he said. The truth of the statement was evident in his tone,
and Jared couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.
“Well, as long as you promise...” he grinned, trailing off. “Come on, let’s go
so my Mom will know we’re not fucking like mad rabbits up here.”
“Wish we were,” Jensen muttered.
Jared sighed. “Yeah, me too,” he agreed, taking Jensen’s hand.
===============================================================================
When they came downstairs, Sherri and Megan were having a heated discussion
about the appropriateness of a t-shirt with ‘Don’t worry, they’ll grow soon’
emblazoned over the chest. They both turned towards the footfalls, and their
eyes traveled down almost in unison to Jared and Jensen’s joined hands. 
Megan let out a wolf whistle as she left the room, and Jared blushed. Jensen
just grinned, squeezing his hand.
“Are you staying for dinner, Jensen?” Sherri asked, barely containing her
smile. 
Jensen hesitated. “Well, I have to be at the Kennedy Center by 7:30...” he said
slowly. “I don’t want to put you guys out or anything.”
Sherri tutted at him. “You’re not putting us out, sweetie. Besides, the later
you leave, the longer I get to see Jared smile.”
“Mom,” Jared hisses. Jensen squeezes his hand, smiling.
“It’s all right, Jay,” he murmured. Turning to Sherri, he added: “Hopefully
he’ll keep smiling this time, Sherri; he knows I’m coming back, now.”
Sherri regarded them both for a moment, and then nodded. “Well, you’re always
welcome to stay here, Jensen. Just as long as I don’t know you’re in any
bedroom but the spare one.”
Jared thought that if he blushed any harder, he might overheat and pass out.
Jensen laughed quietly.
“I promise you’ll have no idea I’m not in the spare room,” he said. Sherri
playfully swiped at his head.
“Remind me why I let you near my son again?” she teased. 
“I’m going to go with ‘because I’m awesome’,” Jensen offered. Sherri snorted.
“Yeah, well, you can both get your ‘awesome’ butts in the kitchen and peel some
potatoes for me,” she said. “I’m going to go impress upon Megan why she
shouldn’t be wearing sexually charged slogans over her breasts.”
Jensen raised an eyebrow as she left. “Why don’t you wear sexually charged
slogans over your breasts?” he asked.
“Why don’t you?” Jared shot back. 
Jensen smacked him on the ass.
“Come on, you freak. Let’s go peel some goddamn potatoes.”
End Notes
     Wow. This was my very first Supernatural/J2 Big Bang. Since I signed
     up, it's been nothing but blood, sweat and tears – and I wouldn't
     change a second of it!
     People always recommend that you write what you know, and the world
     of music and orchestras is most definitely what I know. I live and
     breathe the cello, and I don't think there's a piece of music
     mentioned in this story that I'm not intimately familiar with as a
     musician.
     I started writing this story back in January, as a piece of self-
     indulgence of the orchestral variety, but set it aside after 4,000
     words to focus on my plan for big bang at the time – a Mary-lives
     Wincest AU. When that stalled after about 7k, I switched to a J2
     Frankenstein AU. It was only a few weeks before deadline when I
     realised there was no way I had the time to do the research needed
     for the story I wanted to tell there… and then I opened this story
     again.
     A big part of this story is rooted in my own experiences in a
     regional orchestra, up to and including falling for the lead
     violinist and eyeing him up by way of the conductor. That
     relationship had its own issues and demons, and I'm glad Jared and
     Jensen got a happier ending than we did.
     The Youth Philharmonic Orchestra of San Antonio are real, and they
     are amazing. If anyone's in Texas and ever has the chance to see them
     perform, I would highly recommend it. When I was looking for a youth
     orchestra in Texas to help me figure out where to set my story, YOSA
     immediately stood out; they are an incredibly talented group of
     teenagers.
     This story spans a year, more or less, from September 2009–September/
     October 2010. I made every effort to make all specific references
     accurate to the timeline – Zombieland was in cinemas when Jared and
     Jensen go on their first date; Juilliard's auditions for their
     classical music department were February 26th, February 28th, and
     March 1st-5th, 2010.
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