Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/13585854.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Be_More_Chill_-_Iconis/Tracz
  Relationship:
      Jeremy_Heere/Michael_Mell
  Character:
      Rich_Goranski, Jake_Dillinger, Jeremy_Heere, Michael_Mell, Shane_Whist-
      Hower_(Insert_Character)
  Additional Tags:
      Gay, Fluff, Smut, probably_smutt, at_least_with_Michael_and_Jeremy_there
      will_be_smut, random_inserted_character_for_story_puroses, AU_where
      Jeremy_never_deactivated_the_squip, in_my_world_Michaels_a_geeky_sub, Dom
      Jeremy, Sub_Michael, lots_of_shenangigans, I'll_add_tags_as_I_go_and_post
      more_most_likely, no_tag_spoilers_sorry, Shanes_probably_a_horribly
      depressed_person, Shanes_an_insert_character_in_this_AU, pov_switching,
      Lots_of_it, gay_gay, I_already_said_gay_but_I_Need_to_make_sure_you_guys
      know_how_gay_this_is, dunno_how_long_I'll_keep_this_going, Pining, Mutual
      Pining, Shane_gets_drunk_in_chapter_three, it's_just_a_warning, skip_it
      if_you_don't_like_references_to_black_out_sex_I_guess, Angst, gods_there
      is_angst_coming_up, characters_may_end_up_out_of_character_i'm_bad_at
      writing, References_to_Suicide, Suicide_Attempt, Triggers
  Stats:
      Published: 2018-02-05 Updated: 2018-02-07 Chapters: 4/? Words: 4040
****** Articulated Perfectly ******
by Hexitics
Summary
     Michael Mell has had a crush on Jeremy since kindergarten and wanted
     to kiss him since Middle School. Of course, once Jeremy got the
     Squip, it made much harder... or maybe it made it so much easier.
***** High Boy *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Michael looked down at the note. Nope. He crumpled it up and chucked it into
the trash. Another long drag from the joint, more writing. He was pretty sure
he was so high he was barely even writing. But needed something to present to
Jeremy. He loved him, no matter how much his best friend pined after Christine,
Michael was awestruck by something about him. Of course after keeping the fact
he loved his best friend a secret for, practically forever, he was ready to
just lay down and die.
Michael leaned back with a sigh, picking up the freshly written note. He
squinted at it. It was terrible. He ripped it up, and it followed the last
note, being pushed into the trash. He rubbed a hand under the thick black
glasses on his face, sighing and giving up. Maybe he could try something less
straightforward. Though in his heightened state he wasn't able to think of much
less straightforward than “I wish you'd fuck me” scrawled in eloquent beautiful
loopy writing.
After a few more notes and putting out the joint he had some semblance of a
confession letter. The Halloween party was in a day. Shane spoke up from the
corner where Michael had almost forgotten he was sitting. “Party, right?”
Michael sighed. The exchange student had been instantly nice to him and Jeremy.
And Michael had quickly confessed his feelings about Jeremy to him. Shane that
day had laughed, patted him on the back and just said “Oh I know” like it was
the most obvious thing ever. Which worried Michael. Was it really obvious? Did
everyone in school know? Did Jeremy know and just not like him back? That made
him feel sick. He hoped that wasn’t it.
“Michael you are about to fall over dude.” Shane quietly cracked a can of cola
open. Michael still wasn’t sure HOW he managed to do that. It barely even
hissed. Shane slid the drink to him and he picked it up in shaky hands, taking
a few large gulps of the ice cold beverage. Sometimes he was glad that Shane
was a soda nerd, who drank the stuff like he needed it to live. Sometimes
Michael was pretty sure it was what kept Shane from punching someone. Shane
often agreed. Right than Michael was pretty high. He opened his mouth but Shane
stood up before he could say anything. “Jeremy is here…. I'll be back later.”
Shane smiled knowingly and was gone.
Jeremy? Jeremy hadn’t come over for a WHILE. Michael was sure Shane was wrong
until Jeremy looking like an angel walked down the steps into the basement.
Michael didn't even cover the confession letter on the table in front of him.
“Heyy Micha.” Jeremy's voice an octave lower than normal made Michaels heart
skip a beat. Maybe several. Jeremy was everything to him and yet… with him
standing there he couldn't help but be confused. “Why… Are you here, Jeremy?”
Michael mumbled it out, picking up the note slowly. Jeremy snatched it from his
hands. “You invited me, remember? Over text? I felt kinda shitty for ditching
you so….” Jeremy had trailed off. He was reading the note.
“Jeremy I advise you to keep calm and not show any emotion.” The SQUIP spoke
calmly but Jeremy looked at Michael with a slightly open mouth. “Dude, what the
fuck? What the fuck?!” Jeremy almost couldn't believe the note. “Please tell me
it's for your secret girl crush…” Jeremy almost whispered it and his best
friend had huge eyes. Absolutely huge eyes. And a shocked face. Definitely not
for a girl crush. Before than Jeremy had never noticed Michaels doe-like brown
eyes, almost warm skin and smoke and soap smell. The SQUIP tried to tell him to
leave but instead, he leaned closer to Michael. The look on his player ones
face was one of fear. Fear? Why would he be scared? Jeremy jerked away when
Shane shouted as he came down the stairs.
“HEY YOU TWO COKE OR PEPSI?” Shane hit the bottom floor, squinting at both cans
of soda in his hands. “I can’t decide.” Michael almost screamed at Shane for
ruining it, but he just groaned and contemplated the soda choices sluggishly.
“....Mmmm… Coke.” Michael barely mumbled it but Shane seemed to hear and
plopped into his seat in the corner, stretching out and staring at them both as
he took a long purposefully loud and annoying sip from the can of soda. “...Did
I uhhh, interrupt, something?” Shane propped up his feet after he’d asked the
question. Michael wanted to punch, slap, and kick him right then. Jeremy huffed
and sneered. Michaels heart dropped.
“Nothing to interrupt. Just saying hey to my friend.” Jeremy sounded almost
aggressive. Why would he sound so possessive? It wasn’t like Shane liked
Michael. Michael was pretty sure Shane liked nobody. Not even himself. Shane
looked ready to shoot back a retort but kept quiet for the sake of poor still
very high Michael. “Right. Your friend.” Shane smiled politely, but Michael
suspected Shane had some, not NEARLY as polite, things to say to Jeremy.
Michael looked up nervously. He felt like a bag of putty compared to Jeremy,
who had already gained muscle definition. Lots of it. No means ripped, like
jocks in the school, just definitely muscled. Jeremy… the boy he’d had a crush
on since he’d first seen him, and the same boy who was obsessed with a girl
that was way above Michael in terms of being cute or funny, or… maybe even
anything.
Shane had said something else, and whatever it was made Jeremy face flush, and
the pale boy left in a rush with an excuse for something that Michael didn’t
hear. “...Michael? Earth to Michael?” Shane was waving a hand in his face. How
long had he just blanked out for? He wasn’t sure but he wanted to scream. He
didn’t, he almost did, and really wanted to, but he managed not to just scream
at Shane. Ask him why the hell he’d ruined his chances with Jeremy. Shane
almost seemed to read Michael mind “Alright I know I sounded kinda dumb busting
down here but remember that’s not just Jeremy. There’s some, stupid fuckin
quantum or some other whatever computer in his head.” Shane liked to ramble,
Michael had learned to live with it. “And yeah. So like, don’t go, just
assuming that the little, fucking computer and shit wanted Jeremy to be your
friend. It could be like a ploy or, orrrr… I dunno.” Shane had run out of
things to say.
“...I don’t… remember texting him.” Michael mumbled. Shane raised a brow. “I
dunno the last time you texted that guy but like, I haven’t seen you text him,
well haven’t SEEN you dunno if you did, I haven’t seen you text him in like uh,
what, almost ten months? Since he kept that squip?” More rambling from Shane.
Michael was beginning to think that…. Maybe Jeremy had lied, and just wanted a
reason to come over? But that wouldn't make sense. He’d ignored Michael for SO
long. He couldn't just suddenly want to be buddies again… right? Or maybe he
just wanted to use Michael. Michael instantly wanted to cry at the thought,
making Shane looked panicked. “Okay! Okay, NO crying high boy!” Shane gently
pulled him out of the bean bag chair, leading him towards the stairs to go up
out of the basement. Michael sniffled, resisting the urge to cry. Jeremy had
taken the note with him. Probably to show all of his friends, so they could
laugh at Michael.
Chapter End Notes
     I'll upload when able, I write this shit in huge chunks. Expect some
     Shane POV! Lemme know if I ever misspell, and feedback is GREATLY
     appreciated.
***** Jeremy, this is an issue *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“Jeremy, this is an issue.” The SQUIPS voice spoke softly. Issue? What Issue?
His best friend of twelve, no, thirteen? Some-odd years was in love with him.
That was fine. What wasn't fine about that? The fact Michael was beautiful?
Dark skin and a laugh at made him go crazy. Okay so maybe, there WERE some
issues. Jeremy was supposed to be in love with Cristine. Yeah. Cristine. How
was he supposed to be thinking about Cristine when all that was on his mind was
Michael. Michael, Michael, Michael. The SQUIP, seemed to have noticed that. Of
course, how could the supercomputer in his head, NOT notice that he was
thinking about his best friend in ways best friends shouldn't think of each
other. But damn was Michael cute. Okay no, that wasn't what he should be
thinking. Cristine? Cristine. Yeah. Okay just focus... on... Cristine... It
wasn't working. Michael flashed in his head, over and over. His smile, his
laugh, the way he stretched after gaming sessions and just let out a long happy
sigh.
"Jeremy Heere." The SQUIP quite literally shocked him back into focus, making
Jeremy wince. "Jeremy Heere. You must stop thinking about Michael." That was
definitely, MUCH easier said, than done. He got another shock and he winced.
How wrong was it for a dude to want to have sexual fantasies about his best
friend? Probably pretty wrong. At least the stupid computer in his head thought
so. The party was soon, the party was tomorrow. Perfect. That was perfect.
Another shock. "AHHHHHHH okay, I get it!" Jeremy groaned, rubbing his back from
the pain where it jolted. He wasn't sure he DID get it. What was so wrong?
Michael was perfect, now that he'd stopped to think. Everything about the
darker skinned boy, especially his laugh, such a dorky adorable laugh. Of
course, Michael also, he was pretty sure at least, got beat up at School for
being gay. Not that many people KNEW he was gay. But damn was Michael so
perfect, and beautiful, and... Jeremy heard his phone buzz and snatched it up.
Though sadly the name at the top wasn't "Player One" instead it was listed as
"Douche Ass", Shane.
 
Shane: What gets you out of Bed in the Morning, Jerimiah Heere?
Jeremy: What the fuck does that mean?
Shane: I’m guessing the answer is the Squip.
Jeremy: Whatever, don’t text me.
Shane: Okay.
Jeremy blocked Shanes number, frowning deeply. He wasn’t sure what that meant.
Did he feel sorry for him? Jeremy had a perfect life. No girl didn't drool over
him, and he’d caught some boys staring as well. Shane was a nobody. Rich and
the others tolerated him, sure, but they talked shit behind his back. Jeremy
tried to remember why they hated him. He couldn’t conjure up the reasons, it
seemed like they just… didn’t like Shane. “Jeremy, whether anyone likes him is
none of your business. Remember, Christine is the direct motive.” The SQUIP
spoke calmly, Jeremy wanted to scream at the stupid computer to shut up. Maybe
he could get Michael wasted. Though he doubted Shane would leave Michaels side,
the freshman was way too protective. Especially since Michael was his. Shane
had no right to walk into their lives and take Michael away from him. Michael
was his friend, his. Not this interlopers. The SQUIP was quiet for once. Or
maybe, it was the SQUIP in Jeremys head, making him feel so angry, so
possessive over another human. It didn’t matter, Michael was his and he
wouldn’t have this kid interfering with new plans.
----------
“Time for the party. Put on a new shirt, smooth back your hair. Don’t forget
your pants, Jeremy. Good. Cologne. Michaels favorite.” The SQUIP had an idea,
one Jeremy was uneasy about. But it’d get him closer to Michael, incredibly
close to Michael in fact. Closer than they’d ever been before. He already was
feeling giddy, thinking of his friend's face of shock. He had his phone ready,
he wasn’t sure about THAT part of the plan. He had been told to set his phone
to the camera. He was supposed to take pictures of Michael, which he felt, VERY
uneasy about.
Jeremy: Ready for the party, Micha?
Michael: sre.
Jeremy: See you there?
Michael: sre. luv u jer.
Odd, Michaels texts were weird, and the “love your jer” was definitely off from
Michaels normal behavior. It was his same horrible spelling but, something
didn’t feel right. Was Michael wasted already? It would explain it at least.
Michael was his friend, his best friend. Michael was his. The SQUIP voiced its
agreement, Michael was indeed Jeremy’s, and he would have to show everyone
that.
----------
Jeremy walked in and his eyes scanned everywhere. When he saw Michael he felt
his heart jump into his throat. He had obviously already been drinking and was
talking to Shane, who obviously hadn’t been drinking. Jeremy sauntered over,
the picture of poise in that moment, the SQUIP guiding him in his steps. He
looked at Shane dubiously, who took a long sip of the coke in his hand before
lowering it. “Alcohol intolerance,” Shane stated it simply, and Michael thought
it was funny and started laughing. Shane snorted, and Jeremy just listened to
that adorable, beautiful little laugh. The hiccup and snort as Michael managed
to stop. Everything about his player one drove him up the wall. Shane didn’t
seem to be feelings Michaels effects, in fact, he rolled his eyes. “You’re
WASTED Michael,” Shane said it bluntly, causing Michael to bust into Giggles.
Jeremy felt the SQUIP urge him and snapped out of his daydream.
“I could take him to the bathroom to clean him up.” Jeremy grabbed Michaels arm
as he spoke, tugging his friend to his feet. Shane frowned, and looked like he
wanted to argue, but didn’t. Michael seemed confused and giddy, though the
second part was from alcohol. Jeremy started to slowly lead Michael through the
crowd of people, ignoring looks and pulling him into the bathroom before
solidly closing and locking the door. Michael thankfully didn’t seem to notice,
not yet. He sighed and swallowed nervously. He’d never been so nervous about
being around Michael. Michael was his best friend. His Player One. Who had
gorgeous silky hair and that laugh he made, gods that laugh. Jeremy clenched
his hands, relaxing them, trying to keep cool. Jeremy pulled out his phone and
took it off Camera, he googled something real quick. The SQUIP had been giving
him lessons in other languages. Including Michaels native one, and Jeremy had
been practicing a few simple words. He could comfortably speak at least the one
word he really needed.
“Jer-Bear? You tama? You alright?” Michael had sat down on the closed toilet
lid, he slurred the words drunkenly. This was perfect. Yeah, Jeremy was fine.
“I’ve never been better, Micha.” Jeremy turned around to face his confused
looking friend. Michael didn’t even seem to notice that Jeremy started to walk
closer. “Micha, I want to tell you something.” He leaned over the boy who was
only shorter when sitting down like he was. “You, are akin, Michael. Mine.”
Jeremy loved the shift on Michaels face to a look of confused shock, the fact
Michaels jaw moved, but no words came out. The slight squeak his player one,
his player one, managed to force out. Michael had instantly flushed, and Jeremy
couldn’t lie and say he didn’t like this look on Michael. The blown wide
pupils, the shocked look, slack jaw. Jeremy leaned forward so slowly, and
gently pressed his lips against Michaels. This was everything he’d always
wanted and he’d never even realized it.
Chapter End Notes
     a/n next chapter may be intense, and it’ll be from Shanes POV. I
     won’t do those often, but I need some way to show wtf he’s doin while
     Michael and Jeremy are gettin freaky in the bathroom. I'll probably
     stick to posting bursts of chapters kinda regularly.
***** Shanes POV on the Party *****
Chapter Summary
     Shane gets drunk and meets one Rich Goranski. Or, Bitch Stinky as he
     calls him.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
I had on Michaels headphones. I’d taken them from him earlier in the night when
he was piss drunk. He’d whined for a solid ten minutes about wanting them back.
At the moment I had my forehead resting on the cool table. I shouldn’t have
taken a sip of anything even slightly alcoholic. I was like tissue paper, the
shit soaked through me and I got drunk so easily. My head was pounding from the
boosted bass, my vision was swimming whenever I opened my eyes. So much for
“Sticking together” at the party like Michael had promised. I didn’t blame him,
he’d been in love with Jeremy for a while. But being left to sit and be drunk
alone sucked. I pressed my hands on the sides of the headphones to muffle the
people, but the bass made my entire body thud with a dull ache. I hated
parties. I hated them so much. I mean, not that I didn’t like the idea of
partying. Cool kids party. But I, in my loose black hoodie, sweatpants, and
Michaels headphones, was in no sense of the word cool. In fact I was BOILING.
It was like sitting in a sauna. Teenage sweat and… I didn’t even WANNA know
what.
 
I got up, and almost fell over. Actually, to be fair, I did fall over, I just
fell into someone before I hit the ground. So, still gonna count that as not
falling over. It didn’t help the boy I quite literally almost knocked over was
Rich Goranski. I think I once called him Bitch Stinky when incredibly tired. He
hadn’t taken well to the nickname. Right then he was drunk as well, I was also
drunk but unlike others, my mind stays kinda clear. I can at least remember my
own name. “Ayyyyyyy it’s you Freshmannn!” Rich grinned down at me. I had to
admit, I felt sickened. I hated drunken smiling. So fake and yet so real. I
shook the thought off, scowling as much as my face let me in his relaxed state.
“Piss of Bitch.” Oh yeah, boy did  I   sound all high and mighty, the
terrifying five-foot sophomore (I am NOT a freshman). Rich laughed and I
cringed inwardly. Why did people always pretend to like one another? I never
understood it, and I definitely didn’t like Bitch Stinky. Or the arm that
looped around my shoulders. I did like the cup of straight tequila that was
shoved into my hands. Maybe with just a bit more alcohol things might get
interesting…
 
------------------------
 
Two hours later and I woke up in a room I didn’t recognize, someone breathing
rhythmically next to me. I could hear the party going on downstairs. I slid out
of the bed, got dressed and quietly slipped out of the room, down the stairs,
and out the front door. I stared at my moped, got on, started the pile of shit,
and was gone.
Chapter End Notes
     Yeah, I decided NOT to make it intense. Poor confused Shane. I'd feel
     too bad torturing Michael and Jeremy.
     https://sta.sh/21ilql4zrwpe
     This will grow in size
***** Michael's out of the Bathroom *****
Chapter Summary
     Michael hangs out in his basement with Shane for a bit after a well-
     deserved apology.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Michael stumbled out of the bathroom. He felt like utter heaven and was still
pretty drunk. It’d been two hours or so though, so he was feeling a bit soberer
than before. He walked towards where he’d left Shane. He saw his headphones
there, but, the sophomore was nowhere to be found. It seemed to click suddenly
in his mind what had happened. He’d pulled a Jeremy. He’d convinced Shane to
come to the party, which Shane had been very against at first. In fact, it’d
taken an hour of swearing they’d be bros and dudes and Michael wouldn’t leave
him to be alone to even convince Shane that the party was slightly worth it,
let alone convince him to actually get in the car that night and not book it.
More assuring that yes they were friends, gods Shane had been so nervous and
it’d been weird to see the usually chilled out Sophomore practically pulling
out his own hair. Didn’t like parties. Michael didn’t much either, last one
he’d gone to he’d ended up in the bathroom.
 
Then he’d gone off with Jeremy while drunk and High and he’d left Shane, alone,
sitting at the table for hours. He wasn’t sure if he was feeling sick or just
incredibly guilty. Possibly a very well made mixture of both. Michael tracked
down Rich ASAP, to ask where Shane had gone. He found Rich sitting looking like
he’d just woken up, on the stairs.
 
“Rich! Yo, where is Shane?” Michael did his best to sound confident. It wasn’t
like Rich hated Shane or anything and probably didn’t know where he was. Rich’s
face turned to one of complete and utter panic. “He got… drunk earlier and uh…
he just left!” Michael shrugged and walked towards the door. Well, if Shane had
gone home there was no point in him being there. He’d apologize later.
 
------------------
 
The day after, afternoon:
 
Michael : Yo dude I feel lke sht. Leavin u thre.
Shane : Use proper grammar. And it’s fine. I’m fine.
 
Michael took it that Shane was fine. Then looked down at his phone curiously as
another text pinged.
 
Shane : Just don’t do it again. Asshole. I’ll be over shortly.
 
Michael snorted softly to himself. He felt like watching movies and smoking
pot, so that’s what he went to do, walking down to the basement. He almost
jumped out of his skin, since his parents weren’t home, when someone came down
the stairs. It was just Shane, and he looked like shit. Paler than normal if
that was possible, and wearing a pair of thick rimmed purple glasses. He
practically flung himself into the spot in the corner. In fact it-
 
Wait. Shane was wearing Glasses?
 
This almost didn’t compute completely with Michael, and he stared at Shane for
a solid minute. He gaped too, just a little. Shanes face was kinda soft but not
extremely soft. In fact from his face alone someone might wonder to themselves
“what the fuck is that kids gender”. Back to the topic on hand, Shane was
wearing glasses, and rubbed an eye under them blearily.
 
“Glasses”
 
“Uhhhhh… what… about my glasses?”
 
Shane was staring back at Michael now, and gods did Shane look like SHIT. Bags
under his eyes and a bruise under one of them. He had his shoulders up near his
cheeks from the way he was sitting.
 
“Dude, when the hell did you start wearing glasses?”

 Michael felt dumb, especially when Shane looked at him like he was. Had Shane
worn them before, or something?
 
“Uh, today? I mean, like three years ago, but I was instantly on eval for
contacts. Glasses are annoying. They get in the way, and stay on the edges of
my vision.” Shane wasn’t feeling talkative. In fact, he hadn’t since the night
before the party. He’d gone so oddly and uncharacteristically quiet.
 
Michael thoughts were interrupted as he watched Shane shrug and lift his phone.
He seemed to be texting someone. More than ever Shane looked stressed and
tired, almost like the whole world was sitting on his shoulders. Basically,
Shane looked like he really needed to relax.
 
“Yo, you should try today.”
 
Shanes brows shot up. Michael couldn't explain it but the glasses seemed to
make Shanes face less… Shane face.
 
“Try what?”
 
“Weed”
 
Michael wasn't sure what else Shane thought. The shift on the other boys face
wasn't one of disgust or outrage but instead curiosity.
 
“Hey, I said it was the day Pigs fly when I try that stuff not the day I wore
glasses.” Shane rolled his eyes behind the glasses than pulled them off to rub
his face. Michael watched Shane squint at the seeing aids in his hand then fold
them and set them on the ground.
 
“Plus I’d probably be HORRIBLE at it.”
 
Michael was willing to put that probably to the test. As long as Shane was cool
with it. He'd tested Shane on it before and ended up being punched in the jaw.
For such a scrawny weak looking kid Shane packed a mean punch. Though with
Shane squinting at him since he’d taken off what let him see, he didn’t look
very threatening.
 
“Hey, you got plans tomorrow?”
 
Shanes voice cut through Michaels wondering. He winced, in fact, he DID have
plans, with Jeremy.
 
“Uh, yes I do dude.”

 “No biggie. Just don’t leave me hangin on Saturday.”
 
No biggie? Michael shook his head, he barely even heard the last part. Shane
had been acting weird. He watched the other boy stand, check his phone and then
leave.
 
“See you tomorrow at School Michael.”
 
Michael frowned slightly but tugged it back up into a smile. What did he have
to worry about? Shane was fine. Jeremy was in love with him and… something
couldn’t possibly go wrong. He looked to the corner realizing Shane had left
his glasses there. He'd see him tomorrow at school and give them back. Right?
Chapter End Notes
     I started the first part of this chapter at a different time than
     when I ended it. So the writing changes like, halfway through to be
     spaced out more evenly.
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