Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/4059514. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Category: F/F, F/M, M/M Fandom: Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan Relationship: Levi/Eren_Yeager, Reiner_Braun/Bertolt_Hoover, Armin_Arlert/Erwin_Smith, Sasha_Blouse/Connie_Springer, Mikasa_Ackerman/Annie_Leonhart, Grisha Yeager/Original_Character(s), Krista_Lenz_|_Historia_Reiss/Ymir, Marco Bott/Jean_Kirstein, Rico_Brzenska/Nanaba, Hitch_Dreyse_&_Marlo_Sand, Oluo Bozado/Petra_Ral Character: Eren_Yeager, Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Mikasa_Ackerman, Erwin_Smith, Armin_Arlert, Reiner_Bruan, Petra_Ral, Hange_Zoë, Bertolt_Hoover, Connie Springer, Sasha_Blouse, Ymir, Oluo_Bozado, Gunther_Schultz, Krista_Lenz_| Historia_Reiss, Carla_Yeager, Annie_Leonhart, Jean_Kirstein, Eld_Jinn, Marco_Bott, Grisha_Yeager, Maria_Yeager, Nicholas_Lobov, Mike_Zacharias, Nanaba_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Moblit_Berner, Rod_Reiss, Hitch_Dreyse, Marlo_Sand, Balto_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Ilse_Langnar, Rico_Brzenska Additional Tags: Spies_&_Secret_Agents, Orphans, Orphanage, Action, Humor, Fluff, Some angst, Rivals, Anal_Sex, Blowjobs, Lingerie, Levi/Eren_Yeager-centric, Pastel_Armin_Arlert, Cliffhangers, Bottom_Eren_Yeager, Top_Levi, Non- Binary_Hange_Zoë, Gadgets, How_Do_I_Tag, more_tags_to_come, Sex_Toys Under_Clothing, Psychotropic_Drugs, Teasing, Fingerfucking, Finger Sucking, Sex_Toys, Public_Sex, Grisha_Yeager's_Bad_Parenting, Step- parents, Asexual_Hange_Zoë, Hella_gay_Marco_Bodt, Loss_of_Virginity, Strippers_&_Strip_Clubs, Fake_stripper_eren_reiner_and_christa, Daddy Issues, Carla_is_not_Eren's_mom, Rough_Oral_Sex, Rape/Non-con_Elements, Non-Consensual_Oral_Sex, Stripping, Nerd_Armin_Arlert, Nerd_Bertolt Hoover, Eren_Jean_Reiner_and_Ymir_smoke, Underage_Smoking, Underage Drinking, Oblivious_Eren_Yeager, Genderfluid_Armin_Arlert, Protective Reiner_and_Mikasa, Foreign_Language, Dork_Jean_Kirstein, Pervert_Erwin Smith, sort_of, BAMF_Dogs, Master/Pet, Kinky, Action_&_Romance, Drunk Blow_Jobs, Other_Additional_Tags_to_Be_Added Stats: Published: 2015-06-02 Chapters: 1/? Words: 1530 ****** Are you shitting me? ****** by Ackerman_loving Summary When Speacial agent, Levi Ackerman's good friend, Carla, asks if he could babysit some 17-teen year olds while she goes on a mini vacation. Levi agrees, chaos is bound to happen. Notes See the end of the work for notes Levi was pissed, he was running late for work. This barley happened to Levi. He would usually wake up at 6:00, get changed into his classic businessman suit, grab a cup of black tea and some fruit, and get in his white mercedes benz. Today was not his usual routine, his alarm clock died in the middle of the night, so now he's getting dressed at 6:20. 'Fuck my life!' Levi thought while finishing up his outfit by putting on his gray blazer. He quickly ran into his kitchen and grabbed a tea bag from his cub-bard and put in his 'Man purse' as his friend and coworker, Hange Zoe, says. Levi than ran out of his apartment door and ran down the hallway. Levi kept on muttering curses under his breath down hallway.   He quickly put a break on his running when he noticed the elevator. Levi quickly pressed the down bottom, while taping his foot on the black hardwood floors. The doors opened to reveal a Mom and a Dad with two little girls. Once Levi got in he looked down at his shoes to avoid any social communication about the weather and shit. Levi tended to avoided people and useless conversations at a cost. I mean would you like to talk to people who you will only know for a minute when your a 34 year-old, tea addicted, 5'3 man who has a resting bitch face? The answer should always be no. Of course his attempt at at keeping to himself didn't 't work out, when one of the little girls started tugging on his pants.   Levi looked over and to his right leg and saw a little girl grab at his pants for attention. 'Her hands aren't cleaned' Levi thought as he noticed remains of syrup, most likely from break feast, on her hands. "Mister!! Hey, Mister!!" Levi tried to keep calm, but when the girl's supposed mother came to his rescue he couldn't help but to thank the creator of Windex. When the mother was about to open her mouth to apologize, Levi heard a familiar sing. The elevator opened up to reveal a lobby filled with a fair amount of people scattered around the lobby. Levi ditched the woman and sprinted over to the doors that were the entry of his apartment complex. Once he got outside he took a familiar route to the reserved parking spaces for the residence that live there. Once Levi got over to the drivers door if his Benz he unlocked it an hoped in. He grabbed his keys and quickly started the ignition. Once the car started the music Levi was listening to tarted play again. Levi started humming to the familiar tune of 'Set Fire To The Rain' by Adele. Let's just say that Levi was a huge fan, but if his co-workers/friends knew that he listened to Adele every single day on his way to work he would be mortified . He spent the rest of his ride to work in Adele music and the A/C hitting his face. Once he got to the familiar building he works at he Parallel parked in front of the building. Once he got out of his car, he grabbed his 'man purse' from the passengers seat. He was walking up to the glass double doors, when he was stopped by someone. Their blonde hair was pulled into a high pony-tail, and their goatee subtle, yet noticeable. "Eld is there something you need?" Levi asked with an impatient look on his pale face. Eld was an employee who worked at the same place Levi worked, Wings Of Freedom Inc., who actually worked under Levi. Eld was quick to respond to his boss, like usual," Mr.Smith would like you to go to his office, sir." 'Of course eyebrows would want to talk to me the second I got to my shitty job.' Levi tsked out loud and told Eld that he would meet Mr.Smith in his office. Once Eld started walking away, Levi made his way into the sparkling lobby filled with black sofas with white cushions. Everything smelled like windex with a hint of ginger, thanks to Levi's cleaning habits. He made his way to the front desk where he quickly gave the receptionist his I.D. She gave him a nod and Levi headed down the hall. Levi kept walking until he gave his legs a swift turn to the left where he was met with dark cherry wood double doors. Once he pushed the door open he was met with his two best friends laughing while drinking their Earl Grey tea. "Oi! Cut your shitty laughing you two, it's giving me a headache!" Levi groaned. The next thing he knew it he was met with a high pitched squeal coming from a brunette with a strange pair of glasses. The said person suddenly put their tea down on the light cherry wood desk. Levi was then enveloped in a bone crushing hug from the crazy freak, Hange Zoe. His boss/best friend, Erwin Smith just chuckled in amusement. Levi looked at Hange in disgust. They smelled cooper and oil. Levi shoved them away and took out his cologne from his coat pocket and sprayed Hange until they were coughing from the fumes. "Wow! Mr.Grumpy Pants sure has a bad case of asshole today, right Erwin?" They complained while turning to Erwin. Erwin simply chuckled and nodded his head in agreement. Levi couldn't help, but roll his eyes at Hange's teasing. Erwin went over to his coffee maker and put in Levi's usual Black Tea. Once they all got settled down around Erwin's desk drinking their tea, Levi confronted Erwin about the reason he told Eld to send him down here. Erwin set down his tea slowly and brought his hands to his mouth. Hange and Levi knew this position all to well. This was the position Erwin used when he was about to lay a shit bomb on them. "Are you two familiar with name, Nicholas Lobov?" They both gasped. Of course they knew who Nicholas Lobov was. Only six years ago he was trying to get Erwin's head on a sliver plater. "He's alive, we failed to kill him." Levi couldn't help but let out a long string of curses from his mouth. You see, Levi didn't work as a doctor, lawyer, or a police office. No, he worked as a spy. Yep, a spy. The Wings of Freedom is a secret spy agency that was founded by Erwin's father. Dealing with crimes that the police don't know about or don't care about. Only about thirty people work here and the processes to get a job here was not easy. The current boss of TWoF (The Wings of Freedom), in this case Erwin, scouts out people that have worked in this sort of job like the military, police force, or FBI. Of course some people here weren't found through those sources. Some people here were once criminals, thugs, or even hitman. Levi was one of those people, but that's a story for another time. There were also three divisions in the TWoF.   The first was the Recon Corps, they helped come up with different gadgets and medicine/drugs. The second was the Survey Corps, they dealt with crimes and undercover work. The last was the Scouting Legion, they scouted the streets, undercover, for suspicious behavior and dealt with gathering information for Erwin. There was also the special operation squad, also known as Levi's squad. The squad was an elite team in the Survey Corps devision. Hand picked by Levi himself the squad consisted of Petra Ral, Oluo Bozado, Gunther Schultz, and Eld Jinn. Those are the people who deal with the more extreme cases. Hange was the head of the Recon Corps division, but her skill and brains were high enough, that she does everything someone here can do. The same applies to Erwin, even though he is the boss he's still required to take part in the work his employes do.   "Well as you know, a couple years back we had you two and Petra Ral went to go undercover to stop his human trafficking show. We also had you assassinate him and free the victims." He took a moment to sigh and run a hand through his blonde locks. "To cut to the chase, he faked his death when you guys drugged him." The look on Hange's and Levi's faces screamed dumbfounded. Hange then shook their head side to side and abruptly stood up. Levi and Erwin both knew Hange was pissed. When their experiments failed or their gadgets, they got pissed. Super pissed. "What?! That's impossible!! I-Ugh-We've used it before, so why now?!" Erwin simply shrugged his shoulders. He then turned to Levi, letting Hange go on their little rant. "Levi, Rico has gained information about his whereabouts and his next targets through the hotel he's currently staying at. I want you to stop the human trafficking show, Rico presumes he's going to have." Levi could only tsked on the outside, while groaning in laziness in the inside. End Notes SO.......How does everyone like it? I know it's pretty bad, but I took some time off of 'Take a Breath' to vamp up my writing skills because...... well..... they're shit. Anyhow, if anybody sees grammar mistakes I would like for you to tell me. And yes I will update every week unlike, Take a Breath. Have a fab day! :3 (P.S, I know this chapter was extremely fast paced, the other chapters will be much slower, better and longer.) Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!