Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/3702761. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: F/M Fandom: Star_Trek:_Alternate_Original_Series_(Movies), Star_Trek Relationship: James_T._Kirk/Spock, Fem!_James_T._Kirk/Spock, Amanda_Grayson/Sarek Character: Fem!Kirk_-_Character, Spock, Amanda_Grayson, Sarek, Frank_(Star_Trek), Winona_Kirk_(mentioned), George_Kirk_(mentioned), Sam_Kirk_(mentioned), T'Pring, Stonn, Gaila_(Star_Trek), Original_Vulcan_Character(s), Original Female_Character(s) Additional Tags: Genderbending, Alwaysagirl!Kirk_-_Freeform, Child_Abuse, Angst, Teen Pregnancy, Teen_Romance, Underage_Sex, More_angst, Unplanned_Pregnancy, Pregnancy_complications, Pregnancy_Kink, Did_I_Mention_There_Was_Angst?, Spock_Is_Not_Bonded_To_T'pring, AU, Amanda_Rocks, Mentions_of_Suicide, Depression, Mentions_of_Statutory, possible_triggers, be_warned, Other Additional_Tags_to_Be_Added, Hand_&_Finger_Kink, Finger_Sucking, Daddy Kink Stats: Published: 2015-04-07 Updated: 2016-01-18 Chapters: 18/? Words: 33672 ****** Are We There Yet? ****** by ElaineFox Summary 15 year old Jamie Kirk has a one night stand with a Vulcan visiting Riverside, Iowa's shipyard. They both end up with a bit more than they bargained for. Notes I take triggers very seriously. I do not condone any of the abuse that happens in this story. This story will have trigger warning before every chapter. Please don't read if you are potentially triggered by anything on the list for that chapter. If you want to read but are afraid you'll be triggered by a certain chapter, put it in the comments and I'll respond with a full summary of that chapter. Chapter One Potential Triggers: -Child Abuse - Mention of Alcoholism -Underage Sex -Mention of Statutory (but consensual) Rape (oral sex between a 14 yo and a 22 yo) -Mention of Suicide -Unsafe (unprotected) Sex -Allusions to Depression - Sexual Promiscuity - Orphaned Character   ** Please Note: This is a genderbent heterosexual (Jim Kirk has been turned into a cisgendered female for the purpose of this story because I'm just not creative enough to make up a plausible reason for Mpreg) story. Don't like, don't read. See the end of the work for more notes ***** What to do When You Can't Sleep ***** Jamie Kirk was not your average girl. Sure, as far as these things went she was not completely unusual in the grand scheme of the universe. However, the style of her upbringing could be realistically compared to that of a tribble bring raised by Klingon warriors. The day of her birth was marked by a tragedy that permanently destroyed the family she had just been brought into. On January 4th, 2233, her father had been killed in an effort to save the crewmembers of his ship from an unknown enemy. He went out in a blaze of glory, or so she was told. After her father’s death, her mother was never the same. George Kirk became a taboo subject and his name was never mentioned under the Kirk roof and January 4th became akin to the apocalypse. In her mind, Jamie had no father. Every time some stranger had the audacity to compliment her on George Kirk’s bravery, she felt as if she were discussing the mythology of Bigfoot rather than the life of a man who had actually existed. Two years after the unfortunate demise of Captain George Kirk, Jamie’s mother, Winona, married a man whom she fondly nicknamed The Evil Stepfather from Hell. George’s death had killed something in his wife so that marrying the first asshole who crossed her path and paying him to take care of her kids seemed like a better idea than staying on Earth and being an actual mother. Maybe if she had stayed, she would still be alive. When Jamie was eight her mother finished her shift as engineer aboard the Starfleet ship the USS Intrepid walked to her single occupancy quarters and proceeded to dose herself with enough pain killers to down a fully grown Gorn before going to sleep on her bunk. She never woke up. Jamie’s stepfather, Frank, had taken her death and subsequent pension as free permission to treat her kids like gum that got stuck to the bottom of his steel toed boots. Jamie’s older brother, Sam, ran away at the age of 13 never to be seen or heard from. And then it was two. Jamie lived out (more like survived) her childhood under Frank’s roof with no one else to witness his cruelty. When he wasn’t drinking he was beating the shit out of her and vice versa. Hitting teenage girls was apparently his favorite pastime. Jamie didn’t have friends; at school she was just the weird juvenile delinquent who got in more bar fights than anyone could count. In all actuality, she had never even been in a bar, let alone a bar fight. Her bruised arms and busted lips were the results of beer bottles and fists being thrown at her in her own home, not at any of the local dives. By the time she was 12, concealer had become her best friend. But she knew it didn’t really matter, no one was coming to rescue her, no one cared if she was covered head to toe in injuries. She was never getting out of Riverside, Iowa and she was never going anywhere in life.  At 15 years old she was a bit of a rebel. Staying in the house for very long was never an appealing idea with Frank around, so she was out late almost every night. Jamie was never afraid though, she could take care of herself. She might be a small blonde teenage girl, but she packed quite a punch. Besides, it wasn’t like there were many serial rapists stalking the streets of rural Iowa. Mostly she just walked around the small town, if she found someone to “go home with” for the night, then she was all too happy to oblige. That was how she met him.  It was a late midsummer night and she had just received a two hour "lecture" on her failings as a person from Frank. For Frank, a lecture meant screaming so loud that if they hadn't live on a rural farm, the neighbors would have called the police years ago. She was meandering through one of her favorite places, the nearby Mason Park, in her worn leather jacket when she saw him. He was sitting on a park bench under maple tree, the moonlight reflected off of his shiny black hair. She didn’t know who he was and in a town this small that was almost completely unheard of.  As she got closer she was able to make out two pointed ears –a Vulcan. Vulcans in Riverside, Iowa were not unusual, what was strange was to see one in a public park at this hour of the night. The local Starfleet shipyard was working on creating a new class of Starship and she had heard rumors of Vulcan engineers being brought in to help. The Vulcan was wearing long black linen robes, she made an educated guess and assumed that it was normal Vulcan clothing. Deciding that she had nothing better to do, she approached the Vulcan. “Hi.” She said eyeing him curiously from a few feet in front of the bench. He looked up at her from under thick, dark lashes. “Hello.” He responded in a low voice. “Mind if I sit with you?” After a moment’s hesitation, the Vulcan shifted slightly to the left and said, “I do not.” She sat down on the right side of the bench and looked straight ahead at the darkened park grounds. In Iowa, trees were scarce and Mason Park was no exception, but therewas a small pond. In the spring it would become dotted with ducks and turtles out for the warm weather. After a few minutes of silence she turned to the stiff shouldered Vulcan next to her, “I’m Jamie.” Upon hearing her speak he turned to look at her as if he had been startled by the sound of her voice, “My name is Spock.” “Nice to meet you, Spock.” She smiled. “What’s a guy like you doing out in the park so late? Usually I’m the only one here.” “I am visiting Riverside with my father.” He said. “That doesn’t answer my question.” He shot her a look that somehow seemed to delineate annoyance without using any facial expression at all, maybe it was his eyes. “I am in contemplation.” Jamie fell silent, after a long while she whispered, “Me too.” Spock turned to look at her and if she didn’t know better she could almost have said that he was examining her. He made a small noncommittal noise in the back of his throat before turning to look ahead again. Jamie sat with the Vulcan boy for what seemed like hours before she decided that it might just be safe enough now to go back home again. Just as she was getting up she felt a slight brush on her leather encased arm. She turned to look at Spock who seemed as much in shock as she was that he had touched her. After a moment he looked up at her from his still seated position. Awkwardly he cleared his throat before beginning to speak, “My mother is a human. She encouraged me to explore my human half while I was on Earth. I would be gratified if you would provide assistance with that.” Jamie looked at him in confusion. “How?” She asked. “If you are amenable, I would appreciate being given the opportunity to take you with me to the quarters I have been provided with.” Jamie froze. “Are you asking what I think you are?” she said incredulously. “You want me to come with you to your room? You do know what that means in ‘human speak’, don’t you?” “I am well aware of the connotations.” “Oh.” She said surprised, she had never been hit on in such a round-about way before. Then a thought hit her, “Before this goes any further…how old are you? I don’t want you to get in trouble because I’m not an adult.” It had almost happened once before where Trevor White was nearly caught getting a blow job from Jamie behind the library. Jamie was 14 at the time. Trevor was almost 22. In retrospect, it was not her finest moment. “I am approximately 17.5 Earth years of age.” He said standing up to his full height (which was a good eight inches taller than Jamie’s 5 foot 6 stature) and looking down at her. Jamie breathed a sigh of relief. “Ok.” She said shooting him her best ‘come hither’ look. “Lead the way.” ********** Spock led her to a small motel near the Riverside Shipyard where he unlocked an apartment on the ground floor and ushered her inside. “Computer.” He called. “Lights 40 percent.” Jamie looked around the spacious room and gave a low whistle. They both removed their shoes, hers a pair of blue flip flops, his something Vulcan that vaguely resembled a sandal.  “Nice digs.” She said looking around approvingly. Spock did not respond but instead walked to the small refrigerator located in one corner of the main room and retrieved a bottle of water. “Would you like any refreshments?” “No thanks.” She said quietly. After a pause, she continued, “So… how do you want to do this?” Spock glanced at her sharply from where he was standing across the room. “I admit, I have not put my knowledge of human sexual practices into use as of yet.” “Meaning you have done so with your Vulcan set of them?” She asked teasingly. “Yes, of course.” He said turning back to replace the half-drunk bottle of water in the fridge. Jamie was a tad bit shocked, she had always thought of Vulcans as the galaxy’s biggest prudes but apparently she was utterly wrong. “Ok then.” She said playfully sauntering across the carpeted floor towards Spock. “So what DO you know about ‘human sexual practices’?” “Enough to make this enjoyable for you.” He responded simply. “I wish to attempt to engage in the human style of kissing with you, please tell me if I am doing it incorrectly.” He said before closing the distance between them and kissing her chastely. Once again, Jamie’s entire perception of the Vulcan race was being shattered by this boy. She almost wanted to laugh but thought that would ruin the mood. Spock’s lips were soft on hers and the kiss was over a second after it began. “You did fine.” She assured when he gave her a questioning look. “But how is Vulcan kissing different from human kissing?” “We kiss with our hands.” He responded before showing her how to place her index and middle fingers in the correct position and joining them with his. “As touch telepaths we have very sensitive fingers.” He hurriedly continued on when he noticed her stiffen at the words ‘touch telepath’. “I will not read your thoughts. I have mental shields in place. The most I will glean from touching you this night are brief snippets of emotion.” “Ok. Cool.” She said relaxing again. Spock looked at her for a moment before taking her hand and guiding her into the adjoining bedroom. There he dimmed the lights before turning to her. “I do not wish to make you uncomfortable. If you wish for me to stop, please say so.” “Same goes for you.” She said seriously. “Vulcan sexual intercourse can be rather… rough… are you amenable to such treatment?” Jamie wanted to melt into a puddle of goo on the motel bedroom floor upon hearing those words. A hot Vulcan boy was asking to roughly sex her up in his motel room in the middle of the night. “Hell yes.” She said confidently before taking the initiative and surging up to kiss him again. As soon as she made contact with his mouth she found herself being slammed up against the wall behind her. Spock’s hands settled on her hips and she found herself wrapping hers around his neck as their kissing became less and less innocent. When she parted her lips in the hope that he would deepen the kiss, she was richly rewarded with the feeling of his overly hot tongue twining with hers. Spock’s hands slid from her hips and wrapped around the back of her thigh’s pulling her up until their faces were level. She wrapped her legs around his waist, balancing herself between the wall and his hard chest. When she pulled away to breathe he continued to lave small kisses down her jawline and neck. That was when inspiration struck. She pulled one of the hands that were holding her up away from her thigh and in between them. Remembering Spock’s comment about Vulcans having sensitive fingers she immediately licked from his heart line to the tip of his ring finger in one stroke. Spock let out a long groan that went straight to her core, lighting her up. He buried his face in her shoulder and panted harshly. When she began to suck said ring finger into her mouth she promptly found herself being literally thrown onto the queen sized bed and mounted by a very aroused Vulcan. She spread her legs around his hips as he began to kiss her again. After a moment he released her and stood up to shuck off his black robe revealing a smooth and well-muscled chest. He was left standing only in a very tight pair of leggings that left very little to Jamie’s imagination; the outline of his rigid shaft was clearly visible to her hungry eyes. She immediately sat up and got with the program. Her leather jacket went flying across the room along with her cotton T-Shirt. Her shorts were soon to follow until she was left kneeling in the middle of the bed in only her bra and panties. Spock was staring at her like a starving man who had just been presented with a banquet in his honor. Jamie’s lips curled into the most seductive smile in her arsenal and the Vulcan pounced. She found herself being roughly kissed into the mattress while Spock thrust his still clothed erection against her parted thighs. She gasped when his hands undid her bra to knead at the tender mounds of her breasts. The gasp turned into a moan when he stopped kissing her only to suck one of her pebbled nipples into his mouth. “Sp-Spock…” She sighed. “If you don’t fuck me right n-now, I’m g-going to bite your ear off.” He hummed a sigh before quite literally tearing her panties off. His leggings were the next to go until they were both left stark naked and writhing against each other on his bed. Jamie had a sudden thought, “W-wait, Spock.” The Vulcan stopped his motions and looked up at her from where he had resumed sucking on her breasts. “Protection.” She warned. “I mean, I’ve gotten the STI shot so I’m good on that front but unless you want little Vulcan babies running around Iowa, you better find yourself a condom.” Spock raised himself from his prone position and she got her first good look at his cock, it was large and flushed the emerald green color of Vulcan blood. There was a double ridge at the head that she was sure felt amazing to have inside you. The whole length was slick with what must have been a naturally produced lubricating substance. “I am a hybrid. Statistically speaking, hybrids can rarely ever sire children. In addition it took my parents 26 consecutive attempts to conceive me and they required the help of medical professionals for all of them. It would be, in your vernacular, a miracle if I somehow managed to impregnate you. In addition, I have also received the necessary inoculations. ” “Good enough for me.” She said before pulling him back into the cradle of her legs. Two minutes later found him lining up to the entrance between her wet folds and slowly sliding in. He let out the most delicious groan as his penis was slowly encased in her heat. “Fuck!” Jamie swore throwing her head back against the pillows behind her and arching into his touch. “That is what I am attempting to accomplish.” Spock said gasping harshly. Jamie didn’t have it in her to laugh at a Vulcan trying to make a joke, she was too lost in the sensation of being filled. It had been almost a year since she had taken part in actual penetrative sex and she had almost forgotten how amazing it always felt. Once he was fully seated inside her, he allowed her to adjust for a moment before he began thrusting at a pace that had her seeing stars in minutes. One of his hands found her clit and began to voraciously massage it in tight little circles, he simultaneously perfected his thrusting angle for maximum pleasure and within seconds he had her screaming his name in release. After she came down from her high she found him still rock hard inside of her. He looked like he was waiting for her permission to continue. “Go ahead.” She gasped out. She grabbed the hand that had been massaging her and pulled it to her lips as he resumed thrusting. She then promptly sucked three of his fingers into her mouth and swirled her tongue around them. Spock’s eyes went wide before he came with a groan, his sterile seed shooting deep within her. After a moment he pulled out and lay down next to her. The room smelt of sweat and sex, she felt like a sticky mess; it was perfect. “You are beautiful.” He whispered into her hair. She smiled softly. “I think we need to clean up.” She said. “That would be prudent. The bathroom is to your left. You may go first. There are towels on the shower rack.” He sighed pulling away from her and sitting up on the edge of the bed with his well-toned back to her. “Actually…” She started, “I was thinking that the shower might be a perfect place to continue with your education on human sexual practices.” She said crawling towards him across the bed. His head whipped around and he stared at her for a moment, almost as if to gauge if she was serious or not. Evidently, he decided she was because he stood up and offered her his hand. “That is the most logical idea I have been privy to in a long while.” She smiled up at him. ********** Two hours later found Jamie walking down the sidewalk towards her house as the first rays of sun lit the early morning sky. Spock had needed to return to his work and then to his home on Vulcan; she would not be seeing him again anytime soon. Maybe it was because they had a very good time together, or maybe it was because he could see every bruise and scar marring her tanned skin and was able to deduce where they came from, either way she was clutching a Vulcan comm number in her right hand. He had made her promise to call him if ever she needed his help (which made her think it was most likely the second option) before she had departed from his motel room. She stuffed the slip of paper in her pocket before zipping it up. As the sun rose higher in the sky, she checked her watched before changing directions and wandering towards her high school. She would rather be exhausted at school all day after having pulled an all-nighter having the best sex of her life than go home and face Frank. Jamie decided that maybe this day wouldn't be so bad. ***** Walk a Month in my Shoes ***** Chapter Summary Jamie makes a discovery. Chapter Notes Chapter Two Potential Triggers: -Brief Mention of Eating Disorder -Mention of child abuse -Mention of Iatrophobia See the end of the chapter for more notes The August heat had turned Riverside High into a veritable mass of sweaty teens and sticky desks. Sometimes year-round schooling was exhausting, scratch that, it was exhausting all the time. There was never a long enough break from the tortures of obnoxious peers and spiteful staff. It was all ‘two weeks here’ and ‘two weeks there’ and never any long breaks. Jamie for one absolutely hated it. Especially since most schools were on summer break while she was stuck “learning” about mitosis. Freshman year of high school was quite possibly the most boring thing she had ever experienced. She was smart enough to have skipped at least one grade but she knew that if she ever tried Frank would just beat the stuffing out of her for “trying to be a showoff”. So she was stuck doing math that she’d already mastered 8 months ago and learning biology which she had known for years. It was a dull life.  But it was made a thousand times worse by the fact that she was repeatedly late to her first hour period because she’d been throwing up almost every morning. It was awful but she knew she didn’t have the flu. Besides, she’d rather be violently sick at school than stay home all day with Frank. It was during the second week of her randomly running out of class to puke when she heard two girls by the sinks in the bathroom whispering to each other. The first was arguing that she was probably bulimic, the second was asking if she might be pregnant. At those words, Jamie’s heart just about froze. Pregnant. It would explain the restlessness she often felt, the headaches, and the regular nausea. But, she couldn’t be pregnant. She hadn’t had sex with anyone who could have gotten her pregnant recently. A little voice in the back of her mind reminded her that the hot Vulcan she had met in July, Spock, could have- they hadn’t exactly practiced safe sex. But she shut that little voice right up; Spock himself had told her he was sterile. So it had to be something else. She wasn’t pregnant. Four days later Jamie was convinced that there was something horribly wrong with her. After school that Friday, instead of going home, she made the two mile trek to the local free clinic. Upon walking into the small building she was hit with a blast of cool air. With a sigh at the feel of air conditioning caressing her sweaty skin, she walked nervously up to the front desk. Jamie hadn’t been to a doctor since she was 7, Frank hadn’t seen the need. The only reason she was able to get her STI shot was because the sexual health place in town was having a free vaccination day for teenagers. So it was with a slight bit a trepidation that she tread up to the front desk of the clinic. “Can I help you, Miss?” said the man behind the desk. He was wearing pale green scrubs and a bright smile, his name tag read Jeremy, RN. “Um… yeah…” Jamie began “I-I think I need to see a doctor.” “What seems to be the problem?” Nurse Jeremy asked kindly picking up a padd from the desk in front of him. “I’m really sick all the time. Like I throw up a lot.” “I see.” Jeremy typed something into the padd. “OK, hon, I’m gonna need you to fill out this form  and then bring it back to me.” He said handing her the padd and gesturing for her to take a seat in the waiting area. The form was mostly general stuff: name, age, address, parent/guardian, symptoms, treatment history etc. To herself, she privately swore to never let Frank discover she came here despite the fact that she put his name on the form. After five minutes she brought the padd back up to the front desk and handed it to Jeremy. “Thanks…” he looked down at the form “Jamie.” He perused the form once more. “Everything looks like it’s in order. A nurse will be out in a little while to take you back to the exam rooms to talk. Ok?” “Yeah, sure.” Jamie walked back to the waiting area and sunk down into a small armchair. Apparently ‘a little while’ in free-clinic-speak actually meant an hour and a half because that’s how long it took before Jamie found herself seated in an exam room across from a lady nurse who had introduced herself as Sheila. The room was painted a pale blue and was outfitted with two chairs for patients, an exam table, and a desk with a computer on it. Sheila went over the form she had filled out earlier in the waiting room with her and then went to retrieve the doctor at the clinic. A few minutes later Jamie heard a knock on the door. “Come in.” She called.   A woman in a white lab coat entered the room. She wore a stern bun in her dark hair but had a kind face that was wrinkled with smile creases. She brusquely shook Jamie’s hand “I’m Doctor Candace Lopez, you must be Jamie.” “Yes.” Jamie said nervously as Doctor Lopez sat down in front of the computer. “So you’ve been having some nausea, correct?” “Yes.” “Have you been vomiting?” “At least once a day.” Dr. Lopez made a concerned face at that. “Is there blood in the vomit?” “No.” “Does the sickness pass after you are sick?” “Yes, usually.” “Interesting.” She paused. “Is there any chance you could be pregnant?” Jamie’s posture stiffened, “I- I mean… not really.” “What do you mean by ‘not really’? Have you had unprotected sex with a man?” “Kind of…” “Jamie, sweetie, you’re not being very helpful, I want to help get you better but I can’t if you don’t tell me the truth.” Dr. Lopez put a soft hand on Jamie’s knee and smiled encouragingly at her. “Ok. Well there was this guy. It was a little over a month ago. We had unprotected sex... like three times.” “And you didn’t think this was cause enough to believe you could be pregnant?” “Well, he was a hybrid. He told me he was sterile.” “A hybrid?” “Half human, half vulcan.” “I see.” Dr. Lopez wrote something on the computer before turning back to Jamie. “Jamie, I’d like to do some lab tests just to check. They’ll tell us if you’re pregnant, and if you are, then what the genetic makeup of your child is. In the meantime I’d also like to do a physical exam. Are you OK with these things?” “Um… yeah, sure.” After an extremely uncomfortable exam session and an even more invasive blood test, Jamie had been released from the clinic with instructions to return in two days’ time ********** Two days later saw Jamie sitting in the same exam room she had previously occupied and waiting for Dr. Lopez to come back with the results of her lab work. The same knock she had heard earlier that week sounded at the door. “Come in.” She said knowing the Doctor would hear her. She twitched anxiously while she waited for Dr. Lopez to take her seat at the computer. “Ok. Jamie. So the good news is that we found out why you’ve been so nauseous and getting headaches. The bad news is that, yes, you are indeed pregnant.” Jamie’s heart stopped. She was pregnant...she was going to be a mother...she was unconscious. Jamie came to with Nurse Jeremy and Dr. Lopez hovering over her slumped form. “She’s fine, just shock.” said Nurse Jeremy. Jamie realized that he was taking a reading of her vitals with a tricorder. “Look, she’s coming to.” “Jamie?” Dr. Lopez said slowly. “Can you hear me?” “Yeah.” Jamie croaked as Dr. Lopez returned to her desk and Nurse Jeremy sat down in the chair next to Jamie. Jamie sat herself up, after a moment’s pause, “Are you sure? Am I really pregnant?” “Yes, Jamie we’re sure.” “Oh.” Jamie’s eyes filled with tears. “Ok.” Her shoulders slumped and she hung her head. She felt Nurse Jeremy wrap an arm around her in comfort. “The bright side is that we know why you were throwing up so much.” “It wasn’t just morning sickness?” She shakily asked staring determinedly at her hands folded in her lap. “No, dear. Your baby is indeed partially Vulcan, Vulcans have copper based blood. The fetus was taking as much copper as it could get from you and consequently depleting your stores. You’re going to have to take some copper supplements and some prenatal care vitamins to ensure a smooth pregnancy for you and your child.” “Ok.” She siad n a voice that was barely more than a whisper.  “Luckily you can get these things over the counter at the drugstore down the street so you don’t need a prescription.” “Ok.” She felt devastated. How was she going to be able to care for a child if she could barely even care for herself? She wasn’t fit to be a mom. Ten minutes later, Nurse Jeremy showed her out of the clinic giving her a note with the correct brands and names of the medications she needed to get. It was with a heavy heart that she realized that if she wanted to buy the pills she would have to steal some of Frank’s booze money. Last time she had done that, he had found out two days later and beat her until she spent the next four days unable to get out of bed and a month walking funny. Either way, she was pretty much screwed. It was official. The universe hated her guts.   Chapter End Notes Comment please! Comments make VERY happy. ***** To Forgive and To Forget Are Quite Different Things ***** Chapter Summary Jamie sneaks into Frank's bedroom in the middle of the night to steal enough money for her supplements. Chapter Notes Quick ramble: I would like to point out that I am a devout feminist. For those of you who don't know what that means, it means simply that I want gender equality for everyone (women, men, trans people, non binary gendered people, pangendered people etc.) It does not mean I am a crazy man-hating woman who wants women to rule the world and never shave their legs. Anyone can be a feminist, anyone can fight fr equality. All I would like to point out is that I hate sexist slurs like the ones used in the following chapter. I would never use them IRL and I encourage everyone else reading this not to either. Sexist slurs hurt more than you know. *End rant. <3 Elaine Chapter Three Possible Triggers: -Graphic Depictions of Child Abuse *this is very violent, please skip this chapter if it could trigger you! -Violent Threats -Super sexist language -Alcoholism -Attempted Murder by Drowning -Corrupt Police -Corrupt Doctors -Slight Bullying See the end of the chapter for more notes     The clock read 2:57 am in bright red numbers as Jamie crept into Frank’s bedroom. The man was passed out as usual from six too many beers, his snores echoed through the house like the growls of a fully grown grizzly bear. She tiptoed silently to the large old fashioned dresser across from her stepfather’s bed making sure to avoid the floorboards that she knew would creak if she stepped on them. Upon reaching the dresser she steadily slid the top draw a few inches open. There was a small stack of various credit chips thrown haphazardly in with the socks and t-shirts that filled the drawer. ‘My credit chips’ she thought with a pang. Due to the fact that both of her parents had died on Starfleet ships she received their pensions as well as social security money from the government for being an orphaned child on a monthly basis. She never saw a single credit of it, though. Any credits that weren’t spent on food and basic utilities went into Frank’s alcohol “hobby”. None was given to her for health insurance, education, extracurricular activities, or even clothing. Starfleet made Frank a very rich man. Jamie sighed and picked up the topmost credit chip. She would take it in the morning to buy her pills at the drugstore near her school. Just as she was shutting the drawer again and preparing to turn around to head out of the room, she realized something was very, very wrong. The house was eerily silent. She froze in fear, knowing that something was off but not knowing what. Then it hit her; Frank wasn’t snoring anymore. She tried to spin around and make a run for it but just as she did, a meaty hand grabbed her by the wrist. Frank apparently was not as drunk as she thought he was. “What’re ya think yr doin’ you lil’ bitch?” He screamed. His breath smelled of beer and stale vomit. Small flecks of spittle were flung into her face from the force of his shout. Jamie knew better than to answer the question. “You stealin’?” He hollered angrily. She could only look on with fright as the beady eyes of her stepfather filled with uncontrollable malice for her. She knew that Frank already knew the answer to his own question but he wanted her to say it out loud. Suddenly she was overcome with a surge of anger at this man who had the audacity to call himself her father. “No sir.” She shot back with a glare. “I’m just getting the money you stole from me back!” In all honesty, she really should have expected the blow but she was still laboring under the illusion that Frank was drunk enough to have his coordination impaired. She was wrong. Frank gripped her left wrist tightly in one of his calloused hands and he delivered a close fisted punch to the right side of her face. The effect was that she was knocked to the floor as the wrist that had been keeping her in place broke with an audible snap. She let out a howl of pain. Frank began to kick her chest where she was curled on the floor. It was lucky that he wasn’t wearing his boots or her ribs would surely have been cracked by the force. She wheezed out a cough and tried to sit up. That was when it got worse. Frank grasped her by her long blonde hair and physically dragged her into the bathroom adjacent to his bedroom. He clutched her by the chin and turned on the bathtub faucet. Jamie knew then that Frank was going to do something he would regret (most likely only when they found her corpse and he was arrested for murder). He plugged the drain on the bathtub as it filled with tepid water while she struggled to free herself from his grasp. She began to scream hoping someone, anyone would hear her. His solution to that was to bash her head violently against the tile wall of the bathroom. While she was blinking the blackness from her eyes a thought struck her: maybe Frank wouldn’t kill her if she told him she was with child. “St-stop,” she gasped out, “you can’t kill me!” “And why’s that you lil’ cunt?” He asked distractedly waiting for the tub to fill enough. “I’m pregnant.” Frank froze stock still. “Yr what?” His livid face turned towards her. “Pregnant.” She whispered a second time. Frank’s face contorted into an expression of pure rage and he roared in fury. “You! Lil’! Whore!” He yelled punctuating every word with a slap across her already bruised cheek. Her gamble had been for naught, now he was even angrier. However, his newfound rage allowed him to loosen the hold he had on her still functioning right wrist. She was able to struggle free and she went tearing back though his bedroom and down the stairs. She heard his pounding steps racing after her but she forced herself to keep running, even when black spots danced in front of her eyes and she was sure she was going to pass out. She reached the front door and yanked it open. Her bare feet scraped against the gravel drive as she ran for her life out into the cool night air. Frank was panting behind her, his legs were longer than hers but he was more out of shape than she was. Eventually she heard him stop behind her gasping for breath. He yelled after her into the night; “That’s right ya lil’ slutty bitch! Ya run!  Ya best run like hell, ya shit! Cuz if I eva’ see ya on my property again Ima shoot ya dead before you can even say hullo!” She didn’t stop running until she hit the most populated area of town. Her breath was coming in sharp rasps by the time she finally slowed to a walk. Her feet were leaving a trail of bloody footprints on the sidewalk behind her and her left wrist was throbbing in pain. She then promptly turned and threw up into a nearby shrub collapsing in the grass by the sidewalk afterwards. She didn’t know what to do. She was officially a creditless, homeless, pregnant teenage girl with no shoes to boot. She couldn’t go to the police because Frank was drinking buddies with over 75% of the force and all they would accomplish would be to bring her back to him. She couldn’t go to the hospital because she had no money to give to the corrupt small town doctors. She wouldn’t kid herself, even if the doctors agreed to help her (which they were legally bound to do, but it wasn’t like anyone would report them), they would just call the police and she’d be back to square one. She had nowhere to go. It was then that she came to the realization that she was wearing her lucky leather jacket. She had worn it into Frank’s room as a token of good fortune. She immediately sat up wincing when the pain in her head, wrist and ribs made itself known again. She contorted herself so that she could unzip the left hand pocket of her jacket with her right hand. Jamie sighed in relief when her fingers touched a barely used student shuttle pass. With some luck she could take an outgoing shuttle that night and be in Des Moines by morning. She stood up slowly on shaky legs and began the long traipse to the bus stop. That was when she decided to check the other pocket. She encountered a small slip of torn and crumpled paper. Pulling it out of the pocket she glanced down at the small, neat print that read Spock followed by a comm number. Suddenly she remembered him telling her to contact him if she ever needed help. Well, she sure as hell needed some help. Her faltering steps became quicker as she picked up her pace. Halfway to the bus stop she came across an all hours service station. Stumbling inside she found a tired cashier reading a magazine with her feet propped up on the counter. She recognized the girl, her name was Gemma Carson and she was a grade older than Jamie herself. Gemma looked up from her magazine when the door whooshed open. Her face twisted into a mocking sneer when she saw Jamie’s disheveled and injured appearance. “Get in another bar fight Kirk?” She taunted. “Something like that.” Jamie mumbled. “I need to use your comm.” “You got cash. I’m not just gonna let you use this fine establishment’s comm for free yanno.” “No.” Jamie almost wanted to start crying but she wouldn’t do it in front of Gemma. “How about a trade.” That got Gemma’s attention. She sat up and stared interestedly at Jamie. “What do you have to trade?” Jamie quickly (or as much as she could with swimming vision) removed the shuttle pass and comm number from her jacket stuffing them in the back pocket of her jeans. “This jacket.” She said carefully shrugging the garment off and offering it to Gemma. The other girl took it carefully and inspected the label on the inside. Her eyes went round as saucers when she realized that the jacket was a designer one of a kind clothing piece. Jamie had received it from Trevor White in exchange for regular sex about a year and a half ago. Gemma gave a gleeful smile and threw the jacket on over her blue blouse “Sure. Use the comm.” She said vaguely gesturing behind the counter at a wireless interface comm. A second later she had darted off to the bathroom, presumably to admire herself in the grimy mirrors. Jamie stepped up to the comm and pulled the number out of her pocket. Tapping the screen she entered the frequency and pressed the call button. The comm picked up on the second ring. “T’nar pak sorat y’rani.” A rich voice on the other end of the line answered. “Spock?” Jamie asked hesitantly. “Ah.” The voice responded. “I- I don’t speak that language…” Jamie said hesitantly. The voice switched into flawless standard. “Pardon me, I did not inspect the caller identification before answering. Yes, I am Spock. May I ask who I am speaking with.” “It’s Jamie, Jamie Kirk. We met when you were in Riverside.” She said quietly relieved that she had dialed the right number. “Of course.” “Spock.” She paused unsure of what to say. “Yes, how may I be of assistance to you?” He questioned “I… I need your help.”     Chapter End Notes Comment Please!!! ***** Only Pain Can Heal ***** Chapter Summary Jamie goes to Vulcan. Chapter Notes Chapter Four Possible Triggers: -iatrophobia -discussion of abortion -medical procedures -mentions/allusions to child abuse See the end of the chapter for more notes   Jamie took a deep, steadying breath before she took the final step off of the transport shuttle and into the Vulcan incoming space-craft terminal. She had just completed the final leg in her two day long journey from Bill's Service Station in Riverside, Iowa to Shi'Khar, Vulcan. After her rather rushed call to Spock, she had stolen a pair of plastic sandals from the service station and darted out the door in the direction of the shuttle station before Gemma Carson could return from admiring herself in the bathroom mirrors. From there Jamie had been able to board a shuttle that took her to San Francisco where she received a transport shuttle ticket that Spock had purchased for her in advance after their communication.   Privately Jamie thought she would never understand why a Vulcan boy she barely knew would pay for her transport to meet him on his home planet on a whim. Jamie had previously guessed that Spock came from money but now she was wondering if he came from royalty: space fare tickets were not cheap.   It would make more sense if Jamie had told Spock the whole story- that she was pregnant with his child (it still felt strange for her to think in such terms). But she hadn’t, all she had told him was that she had gotten into an accident and that she needed his help. He had then immediately proceeded to purchase passage to Vulcan for her. Which in Jamie’s world of moneyless living was completely baffling behavior. But she wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.   Travelling such a long distance was in a way quite alarming for Jamie who had never been out of her home town let alone on another planet. It was made all the more difficult by her fear of doctors and the fact that she spent the two days trying to hide her damaged feet, broken wrist, concussion, bruised ribs, and copper deficiency sickness.   So upon arriving on Vulcan with nothing but the clothes she had left Frank’s house in (because it was never her house) and a pair of stolen flip flops she was sufficiently intimidated. She got many stares from passersby who had never seen such a bedraggled looking woman wandering through the terminal before.     Upon her arrival outside of the terminal, she immediately spotted her host. Spock was standing near a column of stone. He was wearing robes that were very similar to the ones she had originally seen him in with the exception that this new set seemed to be tailored for warmer weather. He was (unsurprisingly) just as attractive as she remembered.   Spock glanced up as if he felt her gaze and as soon as his eyes were raised he caught sight of her. Immediately he strode towards her purposefully. As he got closer his steps slowed until he was standing in front of her in what appeared to be shock.   She looked up at him and gave a halfhearted smile. “Hi.” She said simply.   Spock cleared his throat before starting to speak, “You are injured.” He remarked examining her with his large brown doe eyes.   “I am.” She responded. “But you already knew that.”   “Yes.” He said softly glancing to where she was cradling her swollen and bruised wrist against her stomach. “But I did not previously comprehend the extent to which you had been harmed.”   “I wasn’t harmed.”Jamie said quickly. “I fell.”   “Yes of course.” Spock said in disbelief. “Quite a fall.” He muttered. Thankfully however, he dropped the subject. Jamie was not interested in rehashing her horrible experiences with Frank to a person she barely knew. After a moment’s pause he continued, “My aircar is parked in the parking lot, please follow me.” He said turning with a flourish of his robes and walking towards the exit.   Jamie began to limp after him. When Spock noticed her slow, painful gait, he stopped and looked at her in what appeared to be worry. “Is something amiss with your feet?” He asked.   “Yeah I ran-“ Jamie cut off realizing what she had almost revealed, “I…I fell and scraped them…”   Spock gave her a calculating look before he stepped forward and placed one of his arms behind her shoulders and the other by her knees. In one fluid motion he had swung her into his arms. She yelped in surprise but Spock ignored her. He continued to make his way towards the doors outside as if carrying a teenage girl bridal style was something he did every day.   Within five minutes Spock had her seated in his sleek black air car and was speeding away from the shuttle port.  He began to speak without taking his eyes off of the road ahead of him, “I had originally planned to escort you to my home where you could recuperate, but the extent of your injuries have proven much more grievous than I had initially gathered from our phone call. We are now proceeding to the hospital where I will pay for your medical care.”   Jamie’s heart stopped and the blood drained from her face. It wasn’t just her fear of doctors or not being able to pay for their assistance that scared her, it was the fact that the Vulcan doctors would surely preform a medical scan on her. Such a scan would undoubtedly reveal that she was pregnant. “Spock, stop the car.” She said abruptly.   “Have I upset you in some way?” Spock asked without slowing down at all.   “Stop. The. Car.” She said in a tone that left no room for argument.  Spock shot her a look but complied by immediately pulling the air car over onto the side of the road. He then fixed her with a questioning stare complete with raised eyebrows.   Jamie took a deep breath before beginning to speak in a very small voice, “Ok…so…you know how when we met in Iowa we had sex?” She trained her eyes to look slightly above his pointed ears. Red sand stretched as far as she could see in one direction and in the other lay the sprawling city of Shi’Kahr.   Spock gave her a look that clearly questioned her mental stability, “Yes.”   “Well…so, I’m pregnant.”   Spock froze stock still and looked straight ahead out the windsheild. “I see. And the father of this child has abandoned you so you came to me for help.”   “No! No, Spock, you are the father.”   Spock turned fully around to face her. His eyes had gone round as saucers. “That is impossible.”   “It’s obviously not.” Jamie said borderline hysterically, “I got tested by a free clinic in Riverside and they told me it’s part Vulcan. You’re the only Vulcan I’ve ever had sex with. You’re also the only guy I’ve had sex with in the past couple of months. It’s yours Spock.”  Jamie prepared for the rejection. She steeled herself to be chucked unceremoniously from the car, her eyes squeezed shut. But the shouting never came. The pain never came.   When she opened her eyes, she found that Spock was staring at her with a look of wonder on his face. “You are certain?” He asked.   “Yes.” Jamie paused, “There are options you know…it’s not too late to terminate.”   Spock looked startled, “You wish to terminate this pregnancy?”   “Do you?”   “Vulcans as a rule believe that life is precious and it should not be taken on a whim. However, it is acceptable to abort pregnancies when it is the best decision for all involved.” Spock said carefully.   Jamie looked at the Vulcan sitting across from her pointedly, “That doesn’t answer my question.”   “No. I do not wish for you to terminate this pregnancy, however, it is not solely my decision to make.”   Jamie gave a sigh. “Look, Spock, I’m not ready to be a mom. You need to understand that if I have this baby, I might not stick around.”   “I see.” Spock said hopefully. “That is your choice.” He placed one of his large, warm hands on her knee, “Jamie, you must understand, you are giving me that which I never thought possible to have. I will not hold you responsible for the care of the infant after it is born.”   Jamie sighed deeply. “Ok. I won’t abort. But I can’t do this by myself, you know. I’m gonna need your help.”   “I will provide you with everything you require.” Spock assured. “You may live in my family’s home until such time you wish to depart. I will not force you to stay nor will I prevent you from leaving.”   Jamie let out a shuddering breath. “Ok.” She said placing her hand over his on her knee. “Let’s go to the doctor, then.”   Spock nodded before starting the air car again and pulling back onto the road.   **********   An hour later found the pair settled into an efficiently organized examination room at a hospital Jamie could not even begin to pronounce the name of. Despite the fact that Spock was barely more than an acquaintance, she had felt uneasy being alone with the doctor and as such had asked him to accompany her. He was sitting straight backed in an uncomfortable looking chair placed against the wall adjacent to the door.   Jamie was dressed in an examination gown and was perched on the edge of the examination table when the doctor finally entered the room. She was a stern looking Vulcan woman who introduced herself as Doctor T’Renn and immediately began the examination while completely ignoring Spock.   The doctor whipped out a tricorder and promptly began to scan Jamie. After a moment she spoke, “You have sustained a fractured wrist, bruised ribs, lacerated feet, and a concussion. In addition you have strained your right gastrocnemius muscle. You are also pregnant.” She turned away from Jamie without waiting for a response and opened a cabinet above the exam table. “I will now regenerate the skin on your feet. Please lay back.”   Jamie let herself fall backwards onto the table. After a moment she felt an odd tingling sensation followed by immediate pain relief as the wounds on the soles of her feet healed. She let out a soft sigh.   “Please undo the tie on the front of your gown. I will repair the bruises sustained to your chest.” Jamie did as she was told and felt the wonderful sensation of pain relief again.   T’Renn then placed the handheld, low strength regenerator on a nearby counter top. She removed a bulky contraption from the overhead cabinet. “This is a bone regenerator. I will place your wrist inside of it while I examine your head. It will not fully heal your wrist, however, it will render a cast unnecessary.”   Jamie nodded before allowing her aching wrist to be placed inside of the bone regenerator. The doctor moved around so that she was standing behind Jamie’s head where it was resting on the exam table. She began to run a scanner along her scalp. After a few minutes of silence, T’Renn spoke again, “I can do nothing to heal your concussion. You will need to avoid strenuous activity, sunlight, operating vehicles, and intoxicating substances for a minimum of one week.”   T’Renn removed Jamie’s wrist from the regenerator, “Your wrist will need approximately two point four-six additional weeks to full heal.” She said placing a strap on brace on it. “Do not put unnecessary weight on it. Do not operate machinery with it.”   “Thank you.” Jamie said grateful that T’Renn had not questioned the source of her numerous injuries.   T’Renn merely looked at her blankly. “In order to heal your right gastrocnemius muscle you will be required to limit yourself to walking and you will need to be careful climbing stairs.”   Jamie nodded again and sat herself up. Spock stood up from his chair and came to stand beside the table. “What of her pregnancy?” He asked.   “She will be required to return to visit a specialist every month for an examination. I would suggest returning in two weeks’ time for the first of these visits.”   “Understood.” Spock stated.   “I was able to discern that the child is otherwise healthy for its early gestational age.”   “That is agreeable.” Spock looked pleased.   “I have completed my exam, you may now leave.” T’Renn said turning to exit the room.   “Wait!” Jamie jumped from the exam table hurriedly. “I need coper pills.”   T’Renn turned to Jamie with a raised eyebrow. “Explain.”   “The baby is part Vulcan.” Jamie said.   “I see.” T’Renn looked interestedly at Spock who was blushing a violent shade of green. “I will give you a prescription.” T’Renn proceeded to write out a prescription on her padd before telling them that they could pick up Jamie’s pills on the way out.   When Spock and Jamie were at long last ensconced back in the former’s car, pills in hand, Jamie finally began to allow herself to relax. While Spock pulled out of the parking lot and commenced the drive to his home, Jamie permitted herself to hope that maybe, just maybe, everything would be ok.     Chapter End Notes Comment Please!!! Comments make me want to write more! ***** Silence in the Face of Fear ***** Chapter Summary Jamie and Spock arrive at his house and Jamie meets Amanda. Chapter Notes Chapter Five Potential Triggers: -Mentions of child abuse -Anxiety -"Colorful Language" See the end of the chapter for more notes    Jamie sat on the bed in one of the plethora of guest rooms in Spock’s family home. The room she had been given upon arrival was decorated in calming shades of blue and came complete with a dresser, vanity, bed and temperature controls. All in all it was quite a comfortable living space and a gigantic step up from her farmhouse in Iowa. When Spock had first pulled his aircar in front of the house she had been sure that it must have been a multi-family complex. She was wrong. The home –if it could even be called that- was a large and sprawling manor complete with real wooden doors and a substantial garden filled to the brim with live Terran plants. It was located a ways past the outskirts of the city, not so far that it was inconvenient, but far enough that it offered a semblance of privacy and quiet. Jamie remembered Spock had once mentioned that his mother was human and she figured that the house must have been built for her since it seemed far more Terran than anything she had thus far seen on Vulcan. The inside of the house was even more impressive than the outside, it was not extravagant and lavish, but it was beautiful in that it possessed an appealing sense of simplicity. The interior was much more ‘Vulcan’ than the exterior despite the fact that numerous pieces of art decorated the walls. As soon as she entered the building she was immediately accosted with a smiling brunette woman with large brown eyes and rosy cheeks. ‘Human’Jamie had instantly realized after noticing the color of her blush. The woman had introduced herself as Amanda Grayson, Spock’s mother and had promptly escorted her up a grand set of stairs to the room she was now sitting in before exiting to speak with her son.  Jamie picked at the aqua blue bedspread that was folded across the end of the four poster bed in the room. She could hear the hushed voices of Spock and his mother speaking softly in the hallway. After a moment, the door swished open and Spock entered seating himself on the bed next to her. “I’m sorry.” She mumbled. “What for?” Spock looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “For being such a fucking wreck.” She ran her hands down her face agitatedly before continuing, “God, Spock. I don’t know why I came. I should know better than to just randomly show up at some strangers’ house and invite myself to stay with them. Especially when I have no money, barely any clothes, and a medical bill the size of Arkansas.” “You came because you required help.” Spock said looking at her earnestly. “I would not deny my assistance where I can lend it.” “Yeah, sure.” Jamie mumbled halfheartedly. “You misunderstand the situation. You imagine yourself to be weak because you required help, however, I believe you to be strong. You had the exemplary courage to –quite literally, I surmise- run away from an abusive home and travel to a foreign planet by yourself. That is not weak, Jamie Kirk.” It took a moment for her to process all of what Spock had said but when she did she shot up from her perch on the bed and rocketed across the room, “How…” she cleared her throat, “how did you know?” Spock seemed to understand what she meant, “On Vulcan, such things are unheard of, however, I am not naïve. Child abuse is not uncommon among the members of the human race.” “Yeah…” Jamie said relaxing enough to seat herself on the floor against the wall across from Spock, she looked up at him. “I guess I knew you didn’t really believe me when I said I fell.” “I understand the human response to be ‘would you like to talk about it’?” Jamie sighed deeply. “I never told anyone, yanno?” Spock was silent allowing her to continue. “They all just thought I got in one too many fights. I know it’s stupid, but I was scared, Spock.” “It is not ‘stupid’ to feel fear.” “Thanks, I guess. I don’t even really know why I’m telling you this.” She pulled her knees up to her chest and stared at the hardwood floor boards. “The thing is, I guess I just never had the thought to run from my stepdad. I always thought that eventually he would drink himself to death and I‘d get the house. But that last night,” Jamie’s eyes began to fill with tears, “that last night he caught me trying to take some money so I could go to the drugstore. He got so mad. He got so mad, Spock.” Spock removed himself from the bed and knelt before her. “I admit I am somewhat unversed in the intricacies of human emotions, however, as you know my mother is human and she was able to impart some of her knowledge of human ways unto me.” He looked her very seriously in the eyes before reaching forward and enveloping her small frame in a somewhat awkward hug. Jamie took a deep shuddering breath before realizing that in the span of three hours she had effectively forced a man (or half-man she supposed) she barely knew to take her to the hospital, invited herself into his home, and nearly cried on his shoulder. It never occurred to her that in Spock’s mind, she had done none of these things. After a moment Spock began to speak again, “I have informed my mother about your condition.” Upon receiving a sharp look from Jamie he amended his statement, “I mean to say that I have spoken to her regarding the fact that you are gestating, I did not provide an excuse for your injured state.” “Ah.” Jamie hummed. “Yes. Although, I confess that I was reluctant to notify her as to whom the father of the child is. I apologize if this causes you undue distress; however, I would ask that you refrain from apprising her or my father of the situation for the time being.” “Sure. They’re your parents, Spock.” She said. After a moment she continued, “Why did you tell her I was here then?” “I told her that you were an acquaintance of mine whom I met when I was on Earth and that multiple unfortunate circumstances had befallen you and you required my assistance.” “Vulcans can’t lie my ass.” Jamie said humorously. “Strictly speaking, I did not ‘lie’, I simply omitted certain key aspects of the story.” “Lie of omission then.” “Very well.” Both Spock and Jamie were now sitting side by side on the floor against the wall. Jamie had her long legs spread out in front of her while Spock was sitting in a straight backed meditation pose next to her. They were silent for a long while, both considering the unforeseen turn of events that had altered their lives. “Yanno,” Jamie said breaking the silence. “At least we’ll have an interesting story to tell the kid. ‘So sweetie, one time I ran away from Iowa and ended on Vulcan. How’s that for a road trip!’” “Indeed.” After another pause Jamie declared, “Your mom seems nice.” “She is an agreeable woman.” Spock inclined his head.  “What’s your dad like?” “I do not presume to be able to adequately quantify his characteristics.” “Gimmie somethin’.” “He is intimidating, I believe.” “Oh.” Jamie said suddenly worried about Spock’s father not approving of her. “Will he be angry that you invited me to stay?” “Vulcans do not experience anger.” “Ok, I’ll rephrase: will he be displeased?” “I do not know.” “Yeah, me neither.” Jamie said thinking it was probably the truest statement she had ever made. It wasn’t just that she didn’t know how Spock’s father would react to her son bringing home a pregnant human teenager; it was also the fact that she felt so incredibly lost. It was like she had been blinded and deafened and then sent to make her way out of a maze. She didn’t know what she was going to do with her baby, let alone her life.  A million ‘what if’s ran through her mind: ‘what if Spock doesn’t want the baby?’, ‘what if his dad doesn’t like me?’, ‘what if Frank comes looking for me?’, ‘what will I do when Spock doesn’t want me around anymore?’. It was all so confusing and intimidating that she began to panic. It was at that moment that the silence in the guest bedroom was broken by Spock’s mother yelling up the stairs to them, “Spock! Bring your friend downstairs! I have dinner ready!” Jamie decided to abandon the ‘what if’s for the time being in favor of food. Food sounded amazingly good to her. Spock stood from his spot on the floor and offered Jamie and hand up. She allowed him to haul her to her feet and the pair continued down the stairs together. Jamie didn’t know what the future would bring, but upon seeing the multiple course homemade dinner that was prepared in the kitchen, she knew that Amanda Grayson had just become her new favorite person in the universe.     Chapter End Notes Comment please! Comments are my brain candy! ***** How To Confuse Vulcans: The Beginner's Edition ***** Chapter Summary Jamie has an appointment with a prenatal doctor and she and Spock begin a tradition Chapter Notes Ok. So Whoops. I'm REALLY sorry that it has taken me so long to update. I'd like to say that its because i've been busy but really I've just had writer's block. So again, I'm sorry. Enjoy the new chapter guys! <3 Elaine CHAPTER 6 TRIGGER WARNINGS: -Lonliness -Doctors (nothing crazy really) See the end of the chapter for more notes   Living on Vulcan was absolutely nothing like Jamie expected. For one, it was hot, extremely hot. She shuddered to think what she would feel like in a few months when she was significantly heavier and clumsier. She had also not expected to fit into Spock’s family so seamlessly. Amanda had barely batted an eye when Jamie had shown up on her front doorstep and when Sarek, Spock’s father, had introduced himself to her he had seemed completely unperturbed that there was a young human girl living in his house. It seemed that due to the fact Sarek was an interplanetary ambassador, they were used to having guests. Within the first few days of her arrival she was already doing housework to help out Amanda. Sarek and Spock left early in the morning to attend school and work respectively while Amanda worked from home in collaboration with Starfleet scientists. Jamie was left to her own devices for most of the day, which suited her just fine, she would frequently busy herself with chores such as laundry or she would read something from the extensive online library that Spock had. School was not an issue. Jamie hadn’t gone to school since she found out she was pregnant and she had no plans to resume any time soon. Going back to school would involve returning to Earth which was something which she had no interest in doing. School would have to wait. She figured that once she gave the baby to Spock and left, she could re-enroll in a Terran high school.  It was on her sixth day of staying with Spock’s family that Amanda informed her of the fact that she had gone ahead and scheduled an appointment with a very reputable prenatal doctor in Shi’Khar for her that afternoon. Jamie was overjoyed (or she would have been if overjoyed was synonymous with appalled). So it was later that day that she found herself being ushered into the prenatal clinic by an overprotective Spock who had volunteered to take her instead of Amanda. The doctor turned out to be an elderly Vulcan man named Storek. It seemed that due to his age Storek had “seen it all” because he was completely unphased by the revelation that a half-vulcan half-human hybrid had impregnated a teenage human girl.  The doctor informed Jamie that her baby was coming along just fine and that she had nothing to worry about. He told her that she would need to return in two weeks’ time and that she should definitely continue to take the prescription that T’Renn had given her. Then he sent the pair on their way. ********** It was at daybreak the next morning when Jamie discovered that her morning sickness had finally passed. She was up early reading on a borrowed padd at the kitchen table when Spock came down the stairs. If he was surprised to see her up and moving so early; he didn’t show it. His brown and grey school uniform looked agonizingly dull next to the bright morning light in the cheerful kitchen. “Are you leaving already?” Jamie asked incredulously. She knew that Vulcans had LONG school days but she hadn’t realized just how early Spock left the house each day. “Affirmative.” Spock retrieved a strange looking red fruit from a bowl by the fridge and he sat down across from Jamie, biting into the juicy food. “It seems WAY too early to be going to school.” “By human standards, yes. However, the walk to the education centers is quite long.” “Why don’t you just drive?” Jamie asked quizzically. “I find that the exercise refreshes me. I enjoy walking.” “Oh.” Then, feeling suddenly incredibly lazy, Jamie asked, “Can I walk with you?” Spock looked at her with interest before nodding his head and taking another bite out of his fruit. “You may.” Fifteen minutes later found Jamie marching determinately down the road towards the Vulcan school buildings with Spock. They did not talk and for Jamie the companionable silence was as refreshing as it was enjoyable. After almost an hour of walking, large domed buildings came into view, they appeared to be made almost entirely of tinted glass and dozens of vulcan children of all ages were entering the various structures. Spock stopped walking and turned to look at her, “Will you be able to return safely to the house?” “Yeah.” She answered and Spock nodded swiftly before turning to walk away. Unexpectedly, Jamie felt a wave of swift loneliness crash over her. “Spock!” She called to his retreating back. He turned to look at her questioningly. “Yes?” “Um… have a good day at school…” Spock’s eyes seemed to smile for him. “Thank you, Jamie.” Then he was walking towards the domes. Jamie stood on the side of the road long after he had disappeared into one of the buildings and all of the other children were no longer arriving. Then she turned and slowly walked back to the manor house. ********** The rest of the day was torture. Maybe it was a replacement pregnancy side effect now that she had gotten over her nausea, or maybe it was something else, but either way Jamie spent the rest of the day holed up in her room feeling intensely isolated. Finally she fell into an afternoon slumber. Her dreams were filled words whispered in a language she couldn’t understand and strong arms wrapping her in comforting embraces. When she awoke she wanted nothing more than to feel Spock’s hand in hers or his arms around her. It was close to four in the afternoon when she ventured downstairs to find Amanda. The brunette woman was in her office typing furiously away on a computer. She rapped on the door frame to announce her presence and Amanda turned swiftly around and graced her with a bright smile. “Good afternoon, Jamie. What can I do for you?” “Hi Amanda,” She said shyly, “I was hoping you could tell me when Spock gets out of school?” “Of course,” She smiled again. “He is done around five-thirty, I think and he usually gets home about an hour later.” “Thanks.” Jamie smiled awkwardly before exiting the office. Mind made up she walked hurriedly to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. She donned a wide brimmed hat before striding out the front door towards the school. ********** When Spock finished his school day, he was slightly startled to see a familiar girl sitting on a rock barely feet from where he had left her that morning. Not that he would admit it to anyone, but he was worried that she hadn’t been able to find her way back to his home. However, then he noticed the hat on her head and water bottle in her hands and realized that she must have come back to walk him home. She looked up when he approached and he was concerned to see tear tracks glimmering on her cheeks. But then she was jumping up from her seated position and wrapping her arms around his neck what would be a crushing hug if he were human. “Is something wrong?” He asked quickly, “Is the baby unwell.” Jamie sniffled and then chuckled weakly. “N-no, everything’s fine. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to worry you.” “You are crying. Everything is most certainly not ‘fine’.” “It’s ok, Spock. I just missed you is all.” Spock had not expected that answer. “You missed me?” “Yeah.” Jamie chuckled before she turned started walking back towards the house. Spock hurried to catch up with her purposeful steps. “Maybe it’s all the hormones or something.” “I see.” Jamie suddenly spun around and pressed her soft lips to his cheek before running off laughing maniacally at the momentary flash of expression on his stunned face. It was then that Spock officially decided that humans were the most utterly perplexing creatures he had ever encountered. ********** So began the long standing routine of Jamie walking Spock to and from school every day. They talked of everything from Jamie’s favorite color, to what Spock thought of the theory of interdimensional travel. This would continue until Jamie finally became too heavy and tired to walk the two hour long trek there and back twice a day. But even then she would still wait for him to arrive home on the front steps of the porch every evening.     Chapter End Notes Comment please!!!!!!!!!!!!! ***** The Hardest Thing in this World ***** Chapter Summary Amanda and Jamie have a talk. Chapter Notes For those of you who didn't quite follow the end of the last chapter. The very last part about Jamie being heavily pregnant and not able to walk Spock to school anymore was a foreshadowing. It hasn't happened yet in the story it was just a flash forward. Also, for those of you who don't know IVF refers to In Vitro Fertilization. <3 Elaine See the end of the chapter for more notes   Amanda Greyson had always been a straightforward woman. When she wanted something, she generally got it (case in point: her very Vulcan husband). But her ambition did not make her stubborn or uncompromising. Despite the fact that she was not one to let people walk all over her, she was a “go with the flow” sort of person. She was kind and caring but also smart and cunning. But most importantly, she was a good judge of character. She also knew that she had raised her beloved son, Spock, to be the same. So when said 17 year old son showed up on the doorstep with a pregnant human girl two years his junior in tow she barely batted an eyelash. She knew that if Spock thought this girl needed their help and was willing to so thoroughly provide it, she should trust his judgement. So it was that they gained a new house guest. Amanda quickly found out that Jamie Kirk was just as strong willed as she but not without a soft side. The young woman had undoubtedly had a rough time of it and Amanda was only too willing to assist her in any way she could. Jamie had very quickly become part of the family. She helped with many of the household chores which freed Amanda up to do more work with her Starfleet colleagues, something which she was eternally grateful for. The only thing about Jamie that concerned her was the fact that she was not currently enrolled in any sort of school, but she knew that she had no real sway or ability to get her to continue her education if she did not want to. She knew that trying to get the girl to reenroll was a losing battle. So she let it go. Amanda could see why Spock had brought the human girl into their home: she was very intelligent and he was obviously very fond of her. While most probably wouldn’t think so, she knew her son well and she could tell that he greatly enjoyed her company. Jamie clearly also thought of Spock as her friend (privately Amanda wondered if Jamie had ever had any friends at all) evidenced by the fact that the nearly two months pregnant girl would hike four hours a day in scorching Vulcan heat just to walk with her son to and from school. So when she noticed the numerous brightly colored pregnancy pamphlets littered about Jamie’s bedroom, she decided that the girl needed her help. So it was that she sat Jamie down in one of the two comfortable pastel green armchairs in her private office that very afternoon. The girl stared at her curiously as she seated herself in the second of the two armchairs. “Jamie,” she paused, “I noticed that you had enough pamphlets in your room to open a library and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to ask me any questions. I am a mom after all.” She smiles encouragingly. Jamie blushed a pale pink and chuckled at her joke. “I just- I never thought this would happen, you know?” She said fiddling with the hem of her shorts. “Me neither.” Amanda laughed. Jamie looked up at her with interest. “Sarek and I tried for almost six years to have a baby, five of which were spent predominately in IVF clinics. I had all but given up by the time I missed my first period. Spock is the only child we will ever be able to have but I wouldn’t trade him for the world. I didn’t expect him, but I love him all the same.” Amanda explained. Jamie thought about that for a moment. “I’m just not sure that I can be a good mom.” “Jamie sweetheart,” Amanda said placing her hand on the girl’s knee and squeezing comfortingly. “every new mother feels that way. From what I’ve seen of you, you are an intelligent, strong, courageous, and caring woman. I know that you will do what youthink is best for your child, not what someone else tells you to do. Whether that choice means that you raise them or you give them up in favor of caring for yourself. You know what is best.” Jamie smiled sadly. “I’m just not sure what I’ll do….” “I know, but you will be.” After a long pause Jamie spoke again, “I know I already have a forest of pamphlets, but what was it like for you?” “Being pregnant?” Amanda asked. “Yeah.” “Hard.” She said candidly. “I suppose it will be different for you because your baby isn’t part vulcan, but from what I know, it isn’t much easier.” A wave of guilt hit Jamie. She didn’t like to lie to Amanda about the origins of her baby, but Spock hadn’t wanted his parents to know yet and she respected his request. “Yeah, of course.” She said in a small voice. “When I was pregnant I had most of the usual side effects: nausea, cravings, back pain, fatigue, peeing every two seconds. You know the drill I’m sure.” “Yeah.” Jamie smiled ruefully. “I definitely know what you’re talking about.” “The worst part for me I think was other people. There were so many people trying to influence me; ‘name your baby this’ or ‘paint the nursery this color’, but the hardest part was when someone told me that my baby didn’t deserve his life because he wasn’t fully human or fully vulcan. The most terrible feeling I’ve ever experienced is when people would say to me that the thing I loved most in this universe wasn’t worth shit.” Amanda stared sadly into her lap. “You won’t experience the same thing but I’m almost certain that people will look down on you and your child because you are so young.” “I understand.” “I’m going to be honest with you: some people aren’t going to respect you or think you have intelligence and worth because you have a child at such a young age, but the best thing that has ever happened to me is my son. You make your own destiny. It is a hard choice to have to decide between keeping a child and giving it up. But make sure, whatever you choose to do, you don’t regret it someday.” “Yeah. I get it. But it’s not like people respected me before. It’s not like they thought I was smart before all of this happened so…” This saddened Amanda to no end, she wanted to reach out and hug the girl who reminded her so very much of an injured animal: hurt but still strong, broken but still fighting. “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.” “Is that a quote?” “Yes,” Amanda chuckled, “It’s from an old Earth TV show. The show was about a teenage girl who was chosen for a job she never asked for, a destiny she never wanted, but one that she had to do. You remind me a lot of her, you know.” “How so?” “The girl was brave in the face of danger. She would undergo tremendous loss and strain but at the end of the day she would get up and keep fighting. She never gave up.” Jamie smiled. “You really think I’m like her?” “Jamie, you are without a doubt the strongest person I have ever met. I know that this is scary but I also know that no matter what happens, you’ll be ok.” “Thank you, Amanda. That really helps me.” “Of course sweetheart. Do you have any other questions?” “Yeah, one more. Was your pregnancy risky? I mean ‘cause Spock’s a hybrid…” Amanda sighed. “It was. There are risks with any pregnancy but mine was especially hard because I was carrying an unprecedented child. The doctors didn’t know what was normal and what was abnormal for such a pregnancy.” “Oh. Will Spock ever have children?” “No, dear, I don’t think so. Like you said, he’s a hybrid, hybrids are almost always sterile. Even if he could have a baby it would probably require extensive IVF procedures.” “Oh.” Jamie said awkwardly knowing that all of what Amanda said was very plainly untrue. “Has he ever been tested?” “Not formally but multiple doctors agreed that it would be nearly impossible.” “Maybe…. maybe you should test him……” Amanda looked at Jamie inquisitively. She didn’t understand why Jamie was so interested in Spock’s reproductive abilities. As if she knew what Amanda was thinking, Jamie jumped hurriedly from her chair. “I have to go. It’s time for me to pick up Spock. Thanks for talking to me!” She nearly sprinted out of the room. Amanda was left very puzzled. Teenagers could be very strange. She shrugged it off and went to put away some of the laundry that Jamie had finished earlier that morning. ********* Jamie and Spock walked into the kitchen talking animatedly (well, as animatedly as Vulcans ever got). They had just returned from their walk home from the education domes. Upon entering the sunny kitchen the pair spotted Amanda sitting at the small wooden breakfast table looking at something in her hands. When the woman raised her head they could see that she was distressed about something. Spock was about to inquire into what had upset her when she set what was in her hand down on the table and slid it across towards Jamie. It was a pill bottle. Specifically it was the pill bottle of prescription copper supplements for expecting mothers carrying Vulcan children that Doctor T’Renn had given Jamie some weeks ago. Jamie’s face went white and Amanda looked to Spock with hard eyes, “It’s yours, isn’t it.” It was not a question. Spock looked as if someone had shot his puppy in the face and then kicked him particularly roughly with a steel toed boot. Very slowly as if in a trance, he nodded.     Chapter End Notes The quote that Amanda and Jamie talk about is from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That show is the best! I love it! Please Comment!!!! This chapter is dedicated to Onee_Chan ***** Nightmares Aren't Always Dreams ***** Chapter Summary The fallout from Amanda's discovery. Chapter Notes Chapter 8 Trigger Warnings: -Smut -Mentions of child abuse -Daddy!Kink -Pregnancy!Kink See the end of the chapter for more notes   Needless to say, Amanda was not pleased. She knew that logically neither Spock nor Jamie was to blame for the unfortunate mishap that was Jamie’s pregnancy due to the fact that Spock was believed to be entirely sterile. However, she was still angry. But the transgression that hurt the most was the fact that her beloved son had lied to her. She supposed he hadn’t necessarily lied to her outright but he had committed the Vulcan version of dishonesty which was to perpetrate lies of omission, and in her mind that was just as bad. Jamie herself was not to be held responsible for any of this. Amanda knew that. Sarek knew that. They did not blame her by any means, however, that is not to say they did not, in some measure, resent the gashes her pregnancy had torn in their family. The evening following Amanda’s untimely discovery was in one word: horrendous. Jamie had gone to her room and holed herself up for the remainder of the night with a bowl of cold plomeek soup and a padd full of books. Sarek had taken Spock aside and done the Vulcan thing by “logically”giving Spock a stern lecture and by logically Jamie meant that he spent an abundance of time scaring Spock shitless. Amanda, human as she was, had merely taken her son aside and screamed at him for a good two hours. By the time she went to sleep Jamie knew never to cross Sarek unless she wanted to end up in the Tantalus Colony and that angering the loving Amanda could easily be compared to enraging a king cobra and the expecting it to willingly let you step on its tail. The week following that disastrous event was filled with Spock doing anything to avoid his parents and Jamie subsequently being left to fend for herself more often than not.  She wouldn’t have minded it usually but the kidney bean in her abdomen was not handling separation from the vulcan boy very well. It all came to head in the middle of one night when Jamie woke up after having had a particularly vivid nightmare in which Frank beat her senseless. She sat bolt upright in bed tears streaming down her face. Her hair was matted against her scalp witch sweat and her shirt clung to her chest like a second skin. She let out a tortured sob and then turned swiftly around upon hearing the door to her room creak open. Spock stood there dressed in a long, flowing raven black robe. He took one look at her before exiting the room again and closing the door behind him. Jamie thinking that he was rejecting her threw her face into the pillows and scrunched the quilt up over her head. After a few minutes Jamie felt a soothing hand rubbing along her spine. “Hush, ashayam. All is well. You are safe.” Spock’s molten voice soothed her frayed nerves and after what felt like hours but was probably only a few seconds, she turned herself over again and slowly sat up. The quilt bunched around her bare legs and her oversized sleep shirt felt damp with sweat. She shivered. “Come. I will change your bedsheets.” Spock said gesturing through the darkness to a stack of clean sheets on the floor. Jamie stood up leaning against one of the vertical poles on the end of the four poster bed for support. When she had moved far enough away that Spock could adequately fix her sweat soaked bed, she sunk down onto the floor and put her head in between her knees. It was barely two minutes before Jamie felt strong arms completely lift her from the floor; she let out a gasp of shock as Spock set her on her feet. She was led over to her dresser where Spock opened the topmost drawer and removed a clean shirt for her to wear. She pulled off her soiled tee exposing herself to Spock’s unabashed gaze. Once she had placed the clean garment over her head she turned to look at Spock. “Why are you doing this?” She asked in a barely audible voice. “Stress is not good for the baby.” He said. And after a pause, “Nor is it good for you.” He led her back to her now clean bed and she lied down with her back facing him. Expecting him to leave and return to his own room she was slightly surprised when the bed dipped behind her and a warm body came to rest alongside her’s. Jamie sighed at the warmth that encompassed her –body and mind- as Spock’s arm came to rest over her slim hip. Feelings of calm washed over her and she began to drift off to sleep again. “Thank you.” She whispered quietly. She was asleep before Spock could respond. *********** Jamie awoke feeling pleasantly calm and well rested. The holo clock on her bedside table told her that it was almost dawn. She attempted to stretch and was startled when her hand encountered smooth skin. Then she remembered: Spock. His arm still rested over her waist but his hand had slid upwards under her shirt to cradle the patch of skin on her abdomen that would in a few short weeks be raised in a swell. She smiled softly to herself. “Good morning.” A voice next to her ear said huskily. “Morning,” she said turning to face the vulcan. “Are you feeling well?” “Yes, much better.” She smiled again when a thought came to her. “However shall I thank you?” She batted her eyelashes and sent the boy a sultry look. Confusion flashed through Spock’s eyes, “You need not thank m-,” he broke off in a huff of breath as Jamie’s nimble fingers ran themselves up his robed thigh. “Oh, but I want to.” She said lasciviously. Her fingers found the part in his meditation robes. “Then by all means, continue.” Spock said with a smile in his eyes. In one fluid motion Jamie moved to straddle Spock’s hips. She deftly undid the tie in his robe and parted it swiftly. She ran her fingers up his chest, baiting him with kitten licks. When she looked up from under her lashes and bit him firmly in the pec, Spock let out a huff of breath. He flipped her over so that she was lying on her back with her legs parted around his hips and rolled his hips against hers. She remembered him mentioning that vulcans “liked it rough” so to speak when they had first met and she smirked up at him. “Hi.” She said impishly smirking up at him. “Hello.” If she hadn’t been able to feel the very tangible proof of Spock’s interest hot and heavy against her cotton panties, she would have thought by his tone of voice that he was completely unfazed by the proceedings.   Jamie thrust her hips up energetically and she could feel the vulcan’s cock throb. She reached down and found one of his hands which were supporting him as he rutted against her. She brought it up to her lips and smiled evilly before licking a stripe up his palm and twirling her tongue around his middle finger. Spock growled like a feral animal sending a rush of heat to her core. He literally tore her panties in two and she had barely a moment to lament their loss before he was thrusting into her sensitive folds, his naturally produced lubricant slicking the way. Jamie almost howled in pleasure-pain, the only thing that stopped her from doing so was Spock pressing his large hand over her cherry lips and muffling her cry. He gave her a moment to adjust before he began to thrust himself in and out of her body. Jamie bit into the boy’s hand and his eyes rolled back into his head. His thrusts became hard and deep, just how she liked it. His hands grasped her hips in a bruising hold that she was loath to admit she relished. “Yo- you g-get off o-on it d-don’t you?” Jamie gasped in between strokes. When Spock looked at her questioningly she explained her statement, “Me b-being k- knocked u-up.” After a moment’s pause, “It is a possibility. The idea that you are carrying my child inspires very primal instincts in me.”   “K-knew it.” She smiled blissfully as pock hit her g-spot and rubbed his thumb over her clit simultaneously. Her pebbled nipples rubbed against his smooth chest and she sighed at the intense friction of it, her lower lip trembling enticingly. Spock caught said lower lip in his teeth and kissed her passionately. The slap of his skin against hers echoed around the small room and the smell of lust and sex pervaded her nose. It was heavenly.   All too soon she could feel her peak approaching and she wondered if it was the hormones that were decreasing her stamina. As if he could feel her approaching orgasm- which, to be honest, he probably could- Spock looked devilishly at her before his hands left her hips to travel down to the small of her back at which point he lifted her forcibly up until she was impaled deeply on him. He moved to sit back on his heels so that she was straddling his folded legs. She moaned at the new angle and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck tangling in his silken hair. Defying all laws of how strong a 17 year old boy should actually be, Spock began to lift her up and down at the hips like a ragdoll. She found it incredibly hot. Three thrusts later and her muscles were clenching down on him. She let out a drawn out moan and buried her face in his shoulder. The grip of her heat caused Spock let out an involuntary groan as he stilled to allow her to finish. Jamie would have been embarrassed that she hadn’t gotten him off yet if she hadn’t had a sudden stroke of inspiration. With a breathy huff, she turned to whisper into his pointed ear, “Come for me…. Daddy.” Spock's eyes grew wide in shock and with a surprised groan he came.     Chapter End Notes Comment Please!! Comments make me want to write more!!! ***** The Lara ***** Chapter Summary Jamie makes a new friend. Chapter Notes Gaila!!!! I love writing her! Also this chapter is not edited (neither are the last four) at all so bear with me, there are probably some typos. <3 Elaine Chapter 9 Trigger Warnings: -Orphaned Character -Mentions of sex -Ultrasound See the end of the chapter for more notes   The next few weeks flew by in much the same manner. Sex with Spock became a regular occurrence as did sleeping in the same bed at night. Despite the fact that they were very quickly becoming best friends, Jamie knew that all of the carnal relations they were engaging in were just that: carnal pleasure of no real import. It was sex for the purpose of comfort. It was “I’m sorry I avoided you” sex, “My parents still won’t speak to me” sex, “I had a bad dream” sex, “Your baby makes me horny” sex, “I’m sorry I got you pregnant” sex, “I feel bad for screwing up your relationship with your family” sex, and “I’m feeling lonely” sex. But what it was not was “I love you” sex. Sure, Jamie saw Spock as the best friend she had ever had (albeit she hadn’t ever had many friends and certainly none that she was close with), but that was as far as it went in her mind. Nothing had changed, she was still going to leave the baby with him and head back to Earth when this was all over. Spock knew this. At a little over 11 weeks pregnant, Jamie knew that she was going to begin to show soon and as such Amanda (who was still on good terms with Jamie, just not with her son) had scheduled an ultrasound for her. Amanda “made” Spock accompany Jamie as it was his parental duty, however, he would have done so anyways. The actual procedure was quick and easy; it was simply a routine check to make sure that the baby was doing well. But when Jamie got her first look at the fetus, her whole world came crashing down. Thus far she had been in denial about the whole ordeal. She knew she was pregnant with a baby but it seemed as if she was an outsider looking in on a story that wasn’t her own. It was all so far away and theoretical. The ultrasound image ruined that, the brightly lit holo screen clearly outlined the baby in stark lines of black and grey. It hit her then. She was carrying aperson, an actualperson whose life rested in her hands.  She was going to be a mom. She absolutely did NOT want to be a mom. ********** Later that evening found Jamie sitting in her room staring out the large window into the darkened back gardens. Greenhouses full of Terran roses provided a sharp contrast to the cool orange sands of the Vulcan night. A knock sounded at her door. “Come in.” She called turning around and brushing her thick blonde hair over one shoulder. Amanda entered carrying a tray of what appeared to be leftover dinner. “I know you weren’t feeling well after your appointment but I brought you some dinner anyways.” Amanda handed her the silver tray. “Thank you.” Jamie said quietly. Amanda smiled in response before reaching over the grasp her shoulder lightly, “Would you like to talk about it?” “Why aren’t you talking to Spock?” Jamie asked changing the subject rather obviously. Amanda gave a drawn out sigh of resign, “It is hard for me to reconcile the boy I knew with the man he has become. Just give me time.” She paused. “But you didn’t answer my question.” Now it was Jamie’s turn to sigh. “I’m ok.” “It’s ok to be afraid, you know.” “I’m not afraid.” Jamie said turning away from her to examine the food on the tray. She was pleased to find a simple bowl of mac and cheese with a side of broccoli (or the vulcan equivalent thereof). “But if you were, it would be ok. I was too.” Amanda said reassuringly. “You were?” Jamie turned to look at the woman from behind a curtain of golden hair. “Yes.” Jamie nodded in understanding at Amanda’s response. The two sat in companionable silence while Jamie ate. After some time Amanda broke the quiet, “Jamie, how would you feel if I were to connect you with a support group I know of?” “Support group?” Jamie said around a mouth full of cheesy goodness. “One of my colleagues at Starfleet Headquarters in San Francisco was telling me about it after I mentioned you to them. It’s called Sister Link. Basically what it is is an organization that will set you up with another expecting teenage mother. You will be able to talk and share stories with one another. The facilitators urge the mothers to talk to their respective partners at least once a week and there’s a list of suggested questions and topics for the first discussion.” Amanda explained. “Oh. They would set me up with another girl? Like a pen pal?” “In a way, yes. You would be given the contact information and name of another girl and then a first meeting on a comm link would be scheduled. If it turns out you don’t like each other, you can be set up with someone new.” “Ok.” “‘Ok’ as in you’ll think about it or ‘ok’ as in you’ll do it?” “Ok I’ll do it.” “Great!” Amanda gave a bright toothy grin and Jamie couldn’t help but smile back. “I’ll get it all set up for you!” Amanda got up and turned to leave but before she could reach the door Jamie called to her, “Amanda?” “Yes, dear?” She said turning back around. “Thank you…..for everything.” “You’re very welcome sweetheart.” Amanda left the door clicking shut behind her and Jamie turned back to the darkened gardens. A lara flew by, its electric blue wings turned midnight in the dusk, Jamie watched it until it was out of sight. She imagined herself to be soaring over the desert sands, her wings outstretched and reaching out as if to touch the edges of the sky. In that moment, she would fly as if she had no bounds. She would be free.  ********** Gaila Vrothe padd in Jamie’s hand read. Two days after her talk with Amanda she had been successfully paired up with a girl. The padd said that she was living on Earth and that she was almost 16, but it gave no other information. Their first meeting was scheduled to begin in less than a minute and frankly Jamie was nervous (not that she would ever admit it).  Barely seconds later the desktop computer came to life with a shrill ring. She hurriedly reached to answer it and was greeted with a girl who was exactly the opposite of any of her expectations. Where she had imagined Gaila to be a morose human girl like herself, she was greeted with what appeared to be the cheeriest Orion Jamie had ever seen. The girl’s curly red hair reached her shoulders and perfectly complimented her emerald skin. “Hi! I’m Gaila!” The girl practically gushed. “Hi…I’m Jamie…” She said cautiously. “Awesome! It’s so nice to meet you!” Gaila smiled a wide toothy grin. “You too.” “So…” Gaila said picking up a padd and examined it before looking up at Jamie again. “I have this list of questions. Do you have one too?” “Yes.” Jamie said picking up her own padd. “Great! Let’s start with number one: where do you live?” “Right now I live on Vulcan.” “Vulcan?!! Oh my gosh that is so cool! What’s it like?” Gaila practically leaned forward through the screen in her excitement. Jamie was slightly alarmed by the obvious energy and enthusiasm of this girl but she vowed to at least finish the first comm call. “Hot. It is VERY hot.” Gaila let out a melodious laugh. “I bet! I just live on plain old Earth.” “You wouldn’t say that if you’d spent the last month and a half in the Vucan desert.” Jamie joked. Gaila laughed again. “I’m pregnant. You’re pregnant- you are pregnant, right?” “Yes.” Jamie agreed. “So what’s a pregnant human girl doing on Vulcan anyway?” “My baby’s dad lives here.” Jamie fiddled with the edge of the desk, her nails clacking against the illuminated metal. “I thought there weren’t that many humans on Vulcan. Too hot or something.” “There aren’t. He isn’t human.” “Girl! You bagged a VULCAN?! You NEED to tell me your secret right now! I’ve been trying to get me one of those for years now!” Jamie almost laughed at Gaila’s shocked expression. Maybe, just maybe, she could get along with this girl. “No secret. We were sitting on a park bench and he asked me if I wanted to have sex with him. Vulcans are pretty straightforward like that.” “No shit.” Gaila seemed very impressed. “I just gained like 10,000 points of respect for you.” “I didn’t know there was a points system.” Jamie chuckled. “Yup.” “Ok next question: what do you like to do in your free time?” “All of my time is free time,” Jamie said, “but I like to read, I am interested in maybe working in mechanics or engineering someday.” “No way?! Me too!” “Really?” “Yeah! After I have my daughter I’m gonna try and join Starfleet!” “Cool.” Jamie said halfheartedly. “You don’t like Starfleet?” Gaila asked her eagerness draining. “No, no it’s not that. It’s just that both of my parents died while serving.” “Oh. That sucks. I’m really sorry.” “It’s ok.” Jamie paused. “You said you were having a daughter?” “Yeah!” Gaila said her animation restored. “I’m already 32 weeks! What about you?” “I’m only 12. I don’t know if my baby is a boy or a girl yet.” “Oh ok! Well good luck!” “Thanks.” Jamie said halfheartedly. She glanced down at the padd in her lap. “Third question?” “Sure!” “This is a weird one although I guess since we’re pregnant it’s not that strange: what’s your perfect snack?” “Ooohhh….” Gaila thought for a moment, “Pickled gummi bears all the way.” “Pickled gummi bears?!” “They’re just gummi bears soaked in pickle juice, don’t knock it till you try it sister.” Gaila waggled her finger across the screen at her.  “Ok. I’ll keep that in mind.” Jamie giggled. “Mine is probably chocolate. I really miss chocolate.” “Are you not allowed to have it?” “Yeah. Vulcans get intoxicated by chocolate. Eating a bar would be akin to downing a couple of tequila shots.” “Seriously?” Gaila perked up her bright hair falling in ringlets down her neck seemed to quiver with energy. “Yeah.” Jamie burst into laughter at the devious look Gaila got. “You. Are. A. Goddess.” Just then the door behind Jamie opened up and Spock entered wearing grey tunic and leggings. “Jamie I-“ He broke off upon noticing Gaila. “Hello.” “H-hi.” Gaila stuttered staring unabashedly at Spock’s legging clad legs. “Spock, this is Gaila Vro, she’s my new comm link pal. Gaila this is Spock.” “I see. It is a pleasure to meet you Miss Vro.” “Pleasure’s all mine sexy.” Spock’s face tinted green to match Gaila’s vibrant skin. The orion looked back at Jamie, “Is he….?” She trailed off. “Yes.” Jamie said laughing. “Damn sister. He is fine as hell!” Gaila gave Spock an appraising look. “Don’t I know it.” Jamie giggled turning around in her seat to look at the Vulcan boy standing behind her. “I am still present.” He said petulantly. “We know.” Jamie smirked. “Don’t deny me my moment of showing you off.” “Very well.” Spock said in a tone only Jamie could tell was exasperated. He picked up a padd and seated himself on the window ledge flipping through the pages of his latest acquisition for what Jamie had named ‘The Spock Library of Virtual Goodness’.   “You have had sex with that?!” “She has.” Spock piped up from the corner. “Quite regularly I might add.” “Spock!” Jamie blushed. "Do not deny me my moment of showing you off.” Spock paraphrased her earlier words. “Oh shut up you sassy vulcan.” “It is not I who is sassy.”  Gaila laughed loudly, “You guys are adorable! How long have you been together?” “We- we aren’t.” Jamie said confusedly. “Could have fooled me.” Gaila winked. “Spock’s just my best friend.” Jamie assured her. “Your best friend who you have regular sex with and who got you pregnant.” Gaila teased. “Oh shut up. We’ll never be like that with each other, right Spock?” Spock had gone oddly quiet. “As you say.” He said not looking up from his book. “We’ll see.” Gaila winked salaciously at Jamie. “Whatever.” Jamie rolled her eyes. “Ok fourth question: how did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?” “Scared shitless.” Jamie said candidly. “Me too!” Gaila sniggered. “I don’t really know who the father of my daughter is. Some human dude I suppose, but I don’t know. So it’s just me. I was really scared for a long time.” “That’s rough. I’m sorry.” “It’s ok I have had a long time to think about my options and I’m going to keep her. We’re a team now.” Gaila smiled. Just then Amanda called up the stairs, “Spock! Jamie! Dinner!” Those three words had Jamie’s stomach growling insistently. “I should probably go.” “Yeah. Me too.” “I’ll comm you same time tomorrow?” “Absolutely!” Gaila said happily before cancelling the call. The screen went dark. Jamie turned to see Spock waiting for her in the hallways. She turned to follow him pushing the desk chair in behind her. She could definitely come to like Gaila.     Chapter End Notes Comment please. Do it. The gods of commenting want you to. ***** Asshats at their Finest ***** Chapter Summary Jamie and Gaila talk. Chapter Notes Chapter 10 Trigger Warnings: -Bullying -Fist fight -Minor Injury -Swearing -Implied sex See the end of the chapter for more notes   “Gaila! You will never guess what happened!” It was two weeks after their first chat and Jamie and Gaila had talked almost every evening since. Gaila’s round face filled up the comm screen as she leaned towards it in excitement. “What happened?” She asked excitedly. “So you know how I walk with Spock to and from school each day, right?” “Yeah.” “Well I was coming to pick him up today when I saw him surrounded by all these other guys. When I got closer I could hear they were taunting him.” “Seriously? They were bullying him?! Why?” A frown marred Gaila’s face. “Because his mom is human.” Gaila gave a disgusted scoff. “I know, I was pissed too. I love his mom, she has been so kind to me.” Jamie said angrily defending Amanda. “Yeah that’s what you’ve said.” “So there were like five other Vulcans and I didn’t know what to do. But then this one- he looked like he came out of the wrong end of a gorilla and then was dosed with some serious steroids- so he walked right up to Spock and told him that his mom was a whore! I’ve been learning Vulcan so I could recognize parts of what he was saying.” “No freakin’ way! He called her awhore?” “Yeah I know right!” “Jesus. What an asshole.” “Yeah well so then I got hella mad obviously.” Jamie explained. “Of course.” Gaila agreed. “And I walked up to him and slapped him right in the face.” “You did not!” Gaila laughed hysterically. “What did he do?” “Well since he’s a Vulcan it didn’t affect him much but I could tell he didn’t have very good control of his emotions- which, to be honest, was probably why he was bullying Spock in the first place.” Jamie paused to take a breath. “I could tell but I didn’t care. So then I started yelling at him.” “Really?! What did you say?” Gaila was on the edge of her seat now. Her blue- grey eyes lit up in excitement. “I said something like ‘Go back to the hole you and your slimy friends crawled out of you bitch! Maybe it’s your mom who’s the whore!’” Gaila couldn’t control her laughter. “What then?” “Well so then he was mad. Really mad. He growled at me and said something in Vulcan to me that I didn’t understand. Then he told me to ‘go home little girl’. Obviously I wasn’t about to take that shit.” “Well duh.” “So then I spat in his face.” “YOU DID WHAT?” Gaila’s eyes were round as saucers. “Yeah. He was not pleased.” “No kidding. What did he do?” “He shoved me really fuckin’ hard. Like I went sprawling like eight feet and I’ve still got sand in places I don’t want sand.” “OMG are you ok?” “Yeah. I have some bruises and scrapes but nothing I can’t handle.” “Ow.” Gaila winced. “Yeah. Well so then he started advancing on me like he wanted to eat me for breakfast and I was kinda scared.” “I would have been too. Fully grown Vulcan males are supposed to be almost as strong as Klingons, right?” “Yeah, they are. But then Spock, who had been just kinda standing there watching me stand up to this dick, jumped in.” “Oh good. What happened?” “Well so then Spock got all protective vulcan on these guys. It was insane!” “Really?” “Yeah he literally ROARED. Like a goddamn lion. It was crazy. And then he punched the guy who pushed me. Broke his nose. He was bleeding everywhere. Then he did a whole bunch of this wild ninja shit and knocked the second guy flat on his face. The other three kinda scampered off after that.” Jamie said animatedly. “Holy freakin’ shit. That is awesome!” Gaila gushed. “I know right?! But see then he was in like angry vulcan mode so he started punching the asshole one I spat on until he got knocked out.” “Oh my gosh! Did he get in trouble?” “No ‘cause it wasn’t technically on school property and he was defending his mate.” “You his mate now?” Gaila fluttered her eyelashes teasingly. “Oh shut up. Well he would have been in deep shit but since vulcans have all these primal instincts he got off ‘cause I’m pregnant and he was just protecting me.” “Wow that is crazy.” “Yeah it totally was. The only downside is that now EVERYONE knows I’m pregnant with his baby.” “But you don’t know anyone on Vulcan.” Gaila chuckled. “So why does it matter?” “I’m just worried Spock is going to get a lot of shit for it.” “Honey, Spock ain’t gonna get any ‘shit’ ever again after he knocked that bully out. They aren’t gonna mess with him again.” Gaila assured her. “You really think so?” “100 percent.” “Ok good.” Jamie smiled. “So how was your day?” “Nowhere near as exciting as yours, I can say that for sure. All I did was go to the supermarket and have a doctor’s appointment.” “Oh cool. How’s little Gaila?” “Oh shut up. That’s not her name and you know it. But she’s good. I’ve only got like four more weeks left!” “Wow that is crazy. Are you excited?” “Yeah I guess… I mean I’m kinda scared too though.” “It’ll be ok.” “Thanks J.” “Course.” Jamie smiled reassuringly at the screen. “How’s yours?” Gaila asked gesturing to Jamie’s partially off screen abdomen. “Fine. I started to show.” “Really? Lemme see!” Gaila’s voice was enthusiastic. “Fine.” Jamie stood up so that her stomach was on screen and she pulled her shirt up to her bra. She then turned to the side and showed Gaila the small rounded bump that had begun to protrude from between her hips. “It’s so cute.” Gaila cooed. “If you say so…” Jamie said sitting back down. “I do. I really do.” A voice sounded off screen. “That’s my foster mom. I gotta go, bye J! Bye baby J!” “Bye Gaila!” The screen went dark. ********** It was late, the desert outside had turned into a chilly wasteland full of various deadly predator’s out for a hunt, Jamie’s room had the warm glow that only a softly lit room in the dead of night would have. She stood in front of the newly acquired full length mirror in her bedroom. Her nightgown (if it could even be called that) was rucked up to her chest and she was staring at the modest swell that resided between her pelvic bones. She hadn’t moved for a good half an hour and at this point she was sure she was the only one in the house still up. That was until the door to her bedroom opened to reveal Spock holding a steaming mug. “The light in your room was still on. I assumed you could not sleep. I have made you herbal tea.” He whispered. “Thank you, Spock” She said dropping her ‘dress’ back down and taking the warm cup gratefully. “I believe the phrase is ‘is there something on your mind?’” “No. Not really. I was just thinking.” She glanced over at Spock. That was when she noticed the stark white bandage wrapped around the knuckles of his right hand. “Is this from earlier?” She said putting the cup down on the bedside table and taking his hand in hers to inspect it. “If by earlier you mean the unfortunate incident with Stonn, then yes.” He said calmly. “Was that his name?” She asked uninterestedly. “It is.” “Do these hurt?” “The-” Jamie cut him off before he could finish. “And don’t downplay it. Be honest.” She sent him a sharp look. “Vulcans are always honest.” He said innocently. “‘Vulcans are always honest’ my ass.” She scoffed. “You didn’t answer my question.” “They are quite painful.” Spock acquiesced. “Thought so.” Jamie said tenderly running her fingers over the outer edges of the bandage. “Your hands are so sensitive, why didn’t you just kick him or something?” “I admit that I was not in complete control of my cognitive reasoning.” “You mean you lost your logic?” She giggled.   “Essentially.” Spock looked down at her solemnly before he brushed a stray lock of her hair behind her ear with his uninjured hand. “But I do not regret my actions.” Jamie blushed pink. “Thanks for defending me… us.” She said gesturing to her stomach. “You are welcome. I would not see you injured.” Jamie smiled softly and busied herself with looking at Spock’s hand again. “But now everybody is gonna know that you knocked me up…aren’t you concerned about that?” “No. I am not. I do not care what my peers think.” Jamie smiled up at him. “Really?” “Yes.” “I’m glad.” Spock nodded before turning to gaze out of the window and into the pitch black night. Jamie stared at him for a long time while she slowly drank sips of her tea. She liked the way his dark meditation robe hung off of his broad shoulders and perfectly matched his ink black hair, the way his ears curved up in the cutest little points, the way his hands folded behind his back with those nimble fingers that she knew could bring her immense pleasure. Unconsciously her hand moved up to rub across her stomach. She could live like this, she thought. She didn’t want to leave Spock after she had their baby but she could see no other way. Maybe if they had met in a different life she could have loved him. She dismissed the thought that even in this life she easily could. And she beat the next thought with a baseball bat when it said that she already did. “Wanna see something?” She asked breaking the silence. Spock turned around to face her, his eyebrow raised in question. “Possibly.” He said cautiously. “Don’t worry,” she giggled, “it’s not bad.” She set her cup back down on the bedside table and ventured back over to the mirror. “Vulcans do not worry.” He said following her. “Mmmhhhhmm.” She said noncommittally. She debated removing her dress all the way for a moment before deciding that Spock had seen her in less and pulling it over her head. “C’mere.” She whispered softly. He joined her in front of the mirror his head cocked curiously. “What is it you wish to show me?”   “Look.” She said turning to the side and running her hand across her belly. Spock’s eyes went wide as he saw the clearly reflected image of the small protrusion in her midsection. He quickly turned to face her and looked down to see. “Is that…” He trailed off uncertainly. “Yes.” She smiled at his expression. She took his hand and spread the long fingers over the firm bulge. “See?” Spock’s hand ran itself over the bump in awe. After a moment he looked back u at her eyes. “You have approximately 3.472 seconds before I behave very badly.” “What do you mean?” “You now have zero seconds.” Spock closed the distance between them and swiftly lifted her off her feet and threw her over his shoulder. She squeaked in surprise as her hair swung loosely with his purposeful steps. When they reached her decadent four poster bed, Spock quite literally threw her onto the mattress. “I will now proceed to ‘screw you senseless’.” He used a phrase Jamie had said the week before in the heat of the moment. She chuckled. “‘Kay.” She did NOT love Spock. Really, she didn’t.     Chapter End Notes Comment please!! ***** Fly Free ***** Chapter Summary A snag is hit. Chapter Notes Hey friends! So none of this is beta read yet. But I finally got an editor and so soon all the mistakes in previous chapters will be fixed! Thanks for your patience! I've also been on a writing bender because I'm leaving soon for a month and I will have no access to any technology. So that's why I'm posting so much! <3 Elaine Chapter 11 Trigger Warnings: -Mentions of Child abuse -Flashbacks -Lawsuits -alcoholism See the end of the chapter for more notes     “So I finally picked out a name!” “Really? What did you choose?” Jamie was once again seated in the chair in front of her bedroom desk talking to Gaila. However, a menagerie of pillows had been recently added to the seat to support her back which had been hurting more than usual as of late. The sun was beating down on the red sand outside and Jamie was eternally grateful for air conditioning because without it, she would surely have died of heat stroke by now. The Orion girl was heavily pregnant, her due date within the next two weeks, and she had been getting increasingly excited as of late (which was saying something since Gaila’s version of normal emotions was Jamie’s ‘I just won the lottery!!’). Jamie herself was less enthusiastic, at this point she was slightly over four months pregnant and her baby bump was beginning to become a nuisance. Jamie’s eyes flicked to the windowsill and there she saw it. For a brief moment they made eye contact; sharp black eyes meeting ocean blue. The lara ruffled her feathers and began to preen the azure down. Then she looked back up at Jamie again. She cocked her head to the side as if to say ‘well what are you doing in there?’ and made a sound that was inaudible through the thick glass. Jamie leaned towards the window mesmerized. I want to come she thought, I want to fly with you, I want to be free! “Yeah! Well so I was thinking about a whole bunch but I finally picked one!” Gaila continued chattering energetically breaking Jamie out of her reverie. The lara stretched her wings and flew off towards the heat of the forge. Jamie watched her disappear into the sweltering sky before turning back to Gaila. “Oh cool! What is it?” She asked distantly. “Guess!” “Uhh…Franklin.” Jamie joked. “Oh shut up J! Her name is gonna be Hannah!” Gaila practically squealed. Her eyes lit up excitedly and she clutched a pale yellow teddy bear to her chest. “Hannah.” Jamie mulled it over. “I like it.” “Good! I finally finished her nursery too! Wanna see it?” “Sure.” Jamie agreed. “Kay, lemme transfer you to my padd.” After a moment the screen changed to Gaila’s face. “There we go! Ok c’mon!” The screen jostled back and forth as Gaila did the late pregnancy version of walking into the next room. The first shot Jamie got of Hannah’s nursery was that of pale purple walls adorned with lily pads and aquatic animals of all shapes and sizes. “It’s pond themed.” Gaila explained. Jamie was walked through a white crib with green sheets, a changing table with a mobile of brightly colored fish that sparkled in the right light, and a closet full of enough clothes to open a store. “What do you think?” Gaila finally asked after she had shown Jamie every little toy, bow, and stitch of fabric in the room. “I love it.” Jamie said honestly. It’s adorable. Gaila beamed with pride, “Did you start yours yet?” Jamie’s face darkened, “La we’ve talked about this… I’m not sticking around…” “I know that’s what you say now but I don’t think that’s what’s actually going to happen.” She said knowingly raising her eyebrows. “It is.” Jamie said suddenly annoyed. “Ok. Ok. Chill out J.” Gaila raised the hand that was not holding up her padd in a placating gesture. “But you can still design a nursery before you go.” “No… I don’t think I will. Spock will just have to do it after I leave.” “Oh gawd. No. If Spock does it you’ll end up with the same room you started with plus a dog bed and a changing mat.” “Oh hush. Spock will be a good father. You should see all of the books he’s been reading lately. I’m sure by now his mind is a veritable library of baby info. I wouldn’t worry.” Jamie laughed the tension broken. “Whatever. It will be functional but not cute like mine. It’s going to have hard cover dictionaries in eight different languages instead of stuffed bunnies.” Gaila shot Jamie a look that clearly said ‘are you crazy woman? Trusting nursery decorating to a VULCAN?’ “Yeah. Yeah. We’ll see.” Jamie chuckled. Gaila yawned. “Ok well I’ve gotta go. Hannah wants a nap.” “Ok. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” “For sure!” Gaila smiled and then the screen went dark. Jamie looked back out the window hoping to catch another glimpse of the lara but she was long gone. She sighed before getting up and stretching her aching back muscles. Jamie headed down the stairs for some pickled gummi bears (Gaila was right; they were the food of the gods). ********** The United Federation of Planets had an automated census computer that kept reasonably good track of most of its citizens. When mention of one of them would come online it would automatically take note of it and alter its information banks. That’s how shortly over one month after Amanda signed ‘Jamie Tiberia Kirk: living on Vulcan’ up for ‘Sister Link Organization for Therapeutic Support’ she received her first pension check from Starfleet. Jamie was quite plainly shocked. For the first time in years she had money that was her own. That no one else could take from her. She took the credit chips and shoved them in the back of her underwear drawer behind her favorite pair of comfy hipsters. These were hers. ********* Frank Davis was not an intelligent man. He had roughly the education of a seventh grader who had gotten a serious head injury. Most of this was the consequence of excessive consumption of alcohol. But he gave no fucks. He was living the high life. He had a house that was completely paid off, no bitchy stepdaughter to take care of, and a steady source of income. It was no matter to him that that source of income legally belonged to said bitchy stepdaughter. She wasn’t around, so it was his. (Even when she was around, it was still his.) It was a Tuesday evening when he stumbled on to the porch of his house. He clumsily unlocked the door and chuckled at the squeak it made. Everything was funny when you were as drunk as he was. It was then that he spotted the comm light blinking with a written message. He pressed the button to see it. If he hadn’t been so drunk he would have seen a letter that read:   Frank Davis, You are being informed by the Starfleet financial council and the Director of Gratuity that your household is no longer eligible for monetary reimbursement from the deaths of George_J._Kirk and Winona_M._Kirk. We regret to inform you that due to the fact you are no longer sharing residence with George_S._Kirk and Jamie_T._Kirk, you are no longer qualified to receive the pensions of George_J._Kirk and Winona_M._Kirk. All money will henceforth be redirected to Shi’Kahr, Vulcan. Sincerely, Emilio Alvarez Emilio Alvarez, Director of Finances Starfleet Headquarters, San Francisco, Earth   But as it was he just keeled over unconscious after trying to read the scrambled words for a few moments. The next morning when a relatively sober Frank finally read the missive every last one of the backyard chickens was scared eggless by the outraged yell he released. ********** Sonya Miltencamp had never been a particularly ethicalwoman so to speak, but what lawyer ever was? She took cases for the money, not because she actuallywanted to get justice. At the age of 52 she had already gotten at least two people guilty of first degree murder off the proverbial hook. What could she say; she was good at arguing and even better at winning, it was the perfect mixture for a lawyer. So when a grungy man named Frank Davis showed up on the doorstep of her high end office in Des Moines offering her enough money to cover the costs of three armed robbery cases just to get his stepdaughter back. She was only too willing to “help”. Sure, she was perfectly aware that he was scum that would be better off stuck to the bottom of her shoe, but money was money and she was never one to turn down a good deal. She could get Mr. Davis his “precious baby” back easy as could be. After looking over the case she arranged a meeting with Mr. Davis. Seated across a meeting room table from one another, Sonya began to speak, “So Mr. Davis, I hear you want me to help you find your daughter.” “Stepdaughter.” The man hoarsely corrected. He mopped his sweaty red face with a greasy handkerchief before continuing. “Girl ran off a couple a months back, haven’t seen her since.” “Yes. So it says here.” Sonya gestured to the manila file of documents in front of her. “I see here that you filed a police report after she went missing?” She knew perfectly well how corrupted the police in small town Iowa could be, and she also knew that Frank Davis had certainly filed this report after he decided to come to her and his police buddies had simply registered it as being called in months ago, but she wasn’t one to judge.   “Yessum. Called up my buddy Wendall but they ain’t seen hide nor hair of the bint since August.” “Yes. Well it’s November now so it has been quite a while, hasn’t it.” “Sure has.” “What prompted you to pursue legal action, Mr. Davis?” She twirled her stylus between ostentatiously manicured fingernails. “I got me a letter from Starfleet sayin’ she’s on Vulcan. I dinna know where she went so I couldn’t sue.” He nodded along with his story putting on a pathetically simpering face. “I see.” Sonya smiled, perfect. If this Jamie kid had somehow found someone to stay with this would be even easier than she thought. The kid was still only fifteen. Whoever she was staying with could easily be prosecuted for kidnapping. “Ok Mr. Davis I think that’s all I need for now. I will do a little digging and then I’ll call you when it’s time to file the suit.” “Thanks ma’am.” The grubby man shook Sonya’s hand with sticky palms before standing up and clomping heavily out of her office. ********** “San Francisco office of interspace transportation, how may I help you?” A cheery voice on the other end of the phone said. “Hello. My name is Sonya Miltencamp. I’m a lawyer at Miltencamp and Associates. I am looking into the disappearance of a 15 year old girl and I have reason to believe she travelled through your San Francisco Airspace Station on her way off planet.” Sonya was all business. “Do you want me to check our records?” The man on the other end asked. “That would be wonderful. Her name is Jamie Tiberia Kirk. She is 15. Blonde hair, blue eyes. She may have been travelling to Vulcan.” “I’ll check, please hold.” After a few minutes of annoyingly repetitive jazz music, the man returned to the line. “Yes. I have her right here. She was on Passenger Carrier 173 heading to Shi’Kahr, Vulcan on the 21st of August.” “Perfect, thank you.” Sonya smiled in victory. “Would you be able to fax that information over to me?” “I’m really not supposed to give out information….” The man said nervously. “Sir. This could be a case of kidnapping of a defenseless human girl. All I am trying to do is to reunite her with her father who is extremely upset about her disappearance.” Sonya said importantly. “Oh-kay then…I’ll send it over now. Same number as the comm?” “Yes.” “Alright I sent it. Anything else ma’am?” “No. Thank you for your assistance.” “No problem. We thought my cousin went missing once. Turns out she was just partying with friends on Hedonista.” "Fascinating. Good day, sir.” Sonya said disinterestedly before hanging up. A virtual file of information appeared on her comm screen. Opening up the file she was met with copies of a ticket and passport. How on Earth this broke little girl had managed to get both of those on such short notice was baffling. Then she saw it, the jackpot, right on the bottom of the ticket was printed a very prominent Vulcan family name. She had them. This case was as good as closed. ********** Amanda had prepared a scintillatingly beautifully dressed soup of creamy potato like vegetables and cheese. As soon as it was on the table Jamie was ravenously slurping up as much as she could. Halfway through her second bowl (she was pregnant for goodness sake, she was eating for two), the comm rang. Sarek stood up gracefully to answer it. After a moment he came back into the dining room looking as concerned as a vulcan ever got. “Miss Kirk, do you know a man by the name of Frank Davis.” Amanda looked up quizzically and glanced between her husband and Jamie. Jamie felt the blood drain out of her face. “….Yes….he’s-he’s my stepfather….” She said cautiously. Sarek nodded, “Very well.” “What’s going on?” Jamie asked in a tiny voice. “We are being sued for kidnapping a minor.” Sarek said as if he was reading off that day’s forecast. Amanda’s eyes went wide and Spock set down his silverware looking unsettled. “In two days’ time a social worker from Earth will be coming to return Miss Kirk to her stepfather for the duration of the lawsuit.” Amanda gasped. Jamie pushed her chair back from the table with a clatter and ran to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She threw up everything she had just eaten and then some. When she was finished she flushed the toilet and leaned heavily against the wall gasping for breath. Her fingers shook and her heart beat out a panicked drum against her ribs. Frank. She was going back to Frank. Pure unadulterated dread filled her. When she closed her eyes an image of herself floating face down in a bathtub filled her vision. Her hair was matted to her scalp with blood and the water was a pale pink. She threw up again. ********** Later that night found Jamie in bed crying silently into Spock’s clothed shoulder. “We will find a solution.” “In t-two days? G-good luck.” She sobbed. “I will not let you return to him.” Spock rubbed his hand up and down her back, “I will find a way to keep you here during the trial and then we will call in a mental testimony and they will see what he did to you.” “It won’t work.” Jamie sighed. “Now you are just being dramatic.” Spock petted her hair. “Sleep. In the morning we will solve this. You will never return to his custody.” Jamie sighed tiredly and cradled the bump that was steadily growing each day. After almost fifteen minutes of lying in silence Jamie whispered into the dark. “Spock?” “Yes?” The body next to hers shifted slightly to face her. “I’m hungry. Get me some food?” Spock huffed out what was almost a laugh and moved to get up. “Gelatin ursidae in dill vinegar?” He sounded fondly exasperated. “Yes please.”  She said tiredly.     Chapter End Notes Comment please!!! ***** So...Funny Story... ***** Chapter Summary Jamie makes an ill advised decision. Chapter Notes Chapter 12 Trigger Warnings: -big scary lizard cat of doom See the end of the chapter for more notes     Jamie knew what she had to do. She would NOT go back to Frank. She quietly slipped out of her nightgown and into some long pants and a warm jacket. She pulled on a pair of brown hiking boots that Amanda had bought for her after she started walking with Spock to school every day. Once the boots were laced up she reached into the topmost drawer of her dresser and fumbled around through the fabric until her fingers hit cool metal. She stuffed the credit chips in her jacket pocket along with her passport and grabbed the bottle of copper pills on top of the dresser for good measure. She spared one last look at the bed where she could just make out Spock’s sleeping form before she stealthily slipped out the door and down the ornate staircase. When she reached the front door she unlocked it with shaking hands and slipped out into the chilly nighttime air. She knew the way towards the main city having walked with Spock countless times to his dome school. If she walked fast she could maybe even make it to the Airspace Terminal by dawn. Jamie set out into the night. Hours passed and she wished she had brought some water. Her back hurt and her stomach ached. As she walked she allowed herself to drift off into daydream land. She imagined that she was free. She was flying through the stars in a great white ship. Spock stood by her side dressed in immaculate blue and a child clung to her leg watching the stars zoom past. Her dream-self smiled and took Spock’s hand before turning back to the view screen and looking out into the deep recesses of the galaxy. When she turned to the left she could see the lara perched on one of the unmanned consoles. She looked at Jamie and let out aferocious scream. It was a moment before Jamie realized that the scream had not been a figment of her imagination. Startled she glanced around herself wildly. All her useless human eyes saw was the vague outlines of rocks and wilted shrubbery. A gust of wind whipped sand up around her and she had to cover her eyes. When the wind died down again she saw it. The creature looked like a cross between a lizard and a mountain lion. It paced back and forth in front of her baring its teeth. Le-matyaher mind supplied absently. The le-matya’s claws scraped through the sand ominously, they glinted white in the light reflecting off of Vulcan’s sister planet, T’Khut. What it was doing this far away from the forge was anyone’s guess but there it stood. The le-matya screamed again and for the first time that night Jamie realized what a bad idea it had been to try and run away. She tried backing away slowly but the reptilian cat only growled and stalked closer. She froze stock still hoping maybe it would lose interest in her. It was then that she realized she was probably going to die. Jamie squeezed her eyes shut tight and wrapped her arms protectively around her midsection. Spock would be so upset. She had betrayed his trust and cost him his unborn child. She wanted nothing more than to go back to her room in Amanda’s house and curl up in bed next to Spock. The le-matya let out a terrifying howl of rage. Maybe it’s rabid Jamie thought. That would explain what it’s doing so far from home. Do Vulcan animals even get rabies?The cat screeched again and advanced on her. This is it. She tensed waiting for the blow of razor claws or the snag of pointed teeth. Suddenly a bright light flashed behind her closed eyes and she heard a loud crash. The le-matya screamed again but this time it sounded more like pain than fury then all was silent. Jamie blinked her eyes open warily. What she saw nearly sent her falling to her knees in joy. A familiar black air car was stopped bare feet in front of her. The hood of the car was splashed in green blood and the le-matya lay dead and broken next to the front bumper. Spock had hit the thing with his damn car! She could almost cry in happiness. She hurried to the passenger side door and threw herself into the car. She leaned across the seat and kissed Spock full on the lips in thanks. Except… the man behind the wheel definitely wasn’t Spock. Sarek sat in the driver’s seat looking at Jamie with both of his eyebrows raised. Jamie blushed crimson. “I-I thought you-… b-but you’re driving his car…y-you…” She stuttered in embarrassment. “Let us not mention this to Spock or Amanda.” Sarek said calmly pulling the car back onto the road and driving back towards the house. “Yeah… good plan…” She mumbled. What had taken Jamie hours to walk took only minutes to traverse in the car. When they neared the house Sarek spoke again, “I trust you have ‘learned your lesson’ so to speak?” “Yeah.” Jamie responded sleepily. “I won’t run off again.” “It is appreciated. As much as I enjoy rescuing you from famished le-matyas in the dead of night I would prefer not to make a habit of it.” Jamie barked out a laugh. She hadn’t known the stern older Vulcan could be so funny. “Sounds like a plan.” She giggled as they pulled into the driveway. “I suggest you return to bed, Jamie.” Sarek said getting out of the car and inspecting the blood and sand coated front. “I will clean Spock’s car.” “Ok.” Jamie said turning to leave. “Thank you.” She said gratefully smiling at him. “You are welcome.” He responded simply. Jamie walked back into the house and snuck back into her room. Just as she was changing back into her pajamas the light beside her bed flicked on. “What are you doing?” Asked Spock, his voice husky with sleep. Jamie froze. Busted. “So…funny story…”     Chapter End Notes Comment please!! ***** The Sapling ***** Chapter Summary A solution is thought of. Chapter Notes This chapter is dedicated to my lovely BFF Neuroscience Girl who has been begging me for hours to post again. <3 Elaine Chapter 13 Trigger Warnings: -smut -mentions of child abuse -mentions of statutory See the end of the chapter for more notes     “JAMIE TIBERIA KIRK! I SWEAR, IF I WASN’T ABOUT TO HAVE A FREAKIN’ BABY I WOULD COME OVER THERE AND BEAT YOUR ASS!!! YOU SNUCK OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND ALMOST GOT EATEN?!! EATEN!!” Gaila was livid. Her red hair practically stood on end and her eyes flashed dangerously. “Sorry?” Jamie offered. “Oh don’t you ‘sorry’ me! What would I have done without you? You’re my best friend J, I don’t want you to be le-matya food!” Gaila screeched. “I know. I won’t do it again.” Jamie looked imploringly at Gaila across the screen, begging her to tone it down. “Promise?” Gaila’s worried face filled the monitor as she leaned forward. “Cross my heart and hope to die.” Jamie assured her. “Fine. Now remind me again why you thought it was a good idea to go running off into the Vulcan desert at night?” Gaila asked sarcastically. “My stepdad from hell.” “THAT BASTARD WHO USED TO BEAT YOU?! WHAT’S HE DONE?!” Gaila screamed in anger. “Calm down La.” Jamie said rubbing her temple where she could feel a headache forming. Needless to say the day had not gone well so far. She had gotten a 2am lecture from a very panicked Spock and then a sequel at breakfast from a teary Amanda, so facing Gaila for lecture part three was not very appealing. “No thanks.” The orion girl scowled. “What. Did. He. Do.” She repeated menacingly. “He’s suing Spock’s family for kidnapping. A social worker is coming to get me tomorrow morning if we can’t figure out a reason to keep me here.” Jamie’s eyes filled with tears. “Gaila what if he kills me?” She whimpered pitifully. “Oh shhh now baby. It’s gonna be ok. You said you guys were looking for a way for you to stay.” Gaila said pleadingly. “Yeah.” Jamie sniffled wiping her eyes. “Spock and I have been researching for hours. I took a break to talk with you.” “Ok. We can figure this out. By the way, speaking of Spock, was he mad too?” Jamie choked out a laugh, “Very. I’m pretty sure he almost chained me to the bed.” “Kinky.” Gaila winked. “Oh shut up, do you ever stop?” “Sweetie, I’m an orion woman.” Gaila pointed out gesturing to her skin tone. “So the answer is a no then.” Jamie chuckled. “Exactly right! But, seriously there has to be a way around this.” The green skinned girl sobered up again. Jamie’s face became solemn once more, “There’s nothing! All I need is a way to stay away from Frank until the trial’s over. Once we get in court it’ll be revealed what he’s actually done but we can’t get someone to take my mental testimony on such short notice!” “Hmmm…what a shit situation!” Gaila growled. After almost an hour of brainstorming Gaila sat up in her chair excitedly, “I’ve got it!” She practically shouted. “Get Spock in here!” Two minutes later found Gaila eagerly describing her idea to an attentive Jamie and Spock, “So the all you have to do is get married! And you don’t even need permission because Jamie’s pregnant!” Gaila bounced in her chair with glee finishing her explanation. “Let me get this straight, you want us to get married?” Jamie said dubiously. “Yup!” “Very well.” Spock said easily. “WHAT?” Jamie turned to him in surprise. “Just like that?” “It is a plausible solution. I will be an adult by Earth standards in one week. It will be illegal after that time for me to become engaged to a legal minor. However, if we decide now we will be granted emancipation by Vulcan law upon the time of our union. You will be considered a legal adult, as will I. Frank Davis will never be able to gain custody of you again.” Spock explained. “Oh.” Jamie mulled it over. “But what about the lawsuit, will he have to drop it?” “No. He may still sue but all he can receive in reparations will be money, he will not get you.” “Gaila could you let us think this over?” Jamie asked turning back to the still lit screen. “Sure. Bye J.” Gaila smiled. “Bye.” Jamie said distractedly. The screen went dark and Jamie swiveled her chair to look up at Spock. “You said ‘bond’ not ‘marry’.” She pointed out. “It is the Vulcan equivalent.” Spock said apologetically. “I did not mean to confuse you.” “Is it different than marrying the human way?” She asked tentatively. Spock paused. “Yes. It is. Adult Vulcans require mental bonds with a chosen mate for their health. However, since I am not fully Vulcan, I do not.” “But you’d like one.” Jamie inferred. Spock moved to sit on the bed across from Jamie so that she wouldn’t have to look so far up at him. “Yes. It would be highly preferable.” “And what is a bond?” Jamie asked tentatively. “Jamie,” Spock looked at her reassuringly, “I would not ask you to bond with me if you did not want to.” “What does it entail, Spock?” She insisted. “A deep connection would be forged between our minds and we would be able to sense each other at all times….Jamie, it is extremely painful and difficult to break a marriage bond.” Spock said beseechingly. “Oh. But don’t Vulcans do like mind melds and stuff all the time?” She asked. Spock huffed. “We do not dance around melding with every person we come across.” “I know that!” Jamie laughed. “I just mean can’t you meld with me? You could see if it would work, right?” “You wish for me to meld with you?” Spock looked at her with rapt attention.  “Why not?” She shrugged . “When we first met you would not even allow me to lower my shields in order to sense your base emotions, now you wish for me to delve into the deep recesses of your mind? Are you certain?” Spock looked shocked which probably meant he was flat out knocked senseless. “Spock,” She stood up in front of him and took his hand, “You know almost everything about me already. I don’t have secrets from you. You’re my best friend. I trust you.” When Spock paused, Jamie deflated, “You don’t want to bond with me?” “I merely do not wish you to regret it.” Spock clarified. “I would very much like to bond with you.” “Fine.” She acquiesced. “We can just get human married. But eventually after all this shit with Frank is over either we bond or we get divorced and you bond with someone else. I want you to be happy, Spock.” “Vulcans do not experience happiness.” “Bullshit.” She laughed. Spock ignored her comment. “Lie down.” He gestured to the space next to him before leaning back against the pillows himself. Jamie did as she was told and went to recline on the mattress on her side facing Spock. “You are positive you wish for me to continue?” Spock asked. “Yes.” Jamie responded seriously. Spock tentatively reached forward and placed the fingers of both his hands on her face. Jamie closed her eyes and tried to relax. The darkness behind her lids swirled in imaginary patterns and fireworks of light. “My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts.” Spock recited and then everything imploded. Jamie’s mind burst into colors and images. Voices echoed through great oceans of thought and gusts of wind carried dozens of memories past her eyes. Despite this, it was not daunting. Jamie was looking at all of it as if she were merely a passerby and not the owner of the mind in question. The landscape suddenly coalesced into a single image. It was a forest of trees all of varying sizes and shapes. She could see a patch of the forest where the trees all seemed to be dying and she knew that was the part of her mind where Frank lived. She turned away from the darkness only to come face to face with Spock. You’re in my mind. That is correct. I wish to show you something. Come. Spock walked off into the forest as if he knew exactly where he was going and Jamie couldn’t help but chuckle. Eventually the forest evened out into a beautiful mountain range. Red sand dusted the hills and the peaks of the mountains extended far into the orange sky. This is yours? It is. Then she saw it. It was a tiny maple sapling reaching up out of the dry desert sand. Its leaves reaching for the sun and looking for all the world as if the Vulcan desert was exactly where it belonged. What is that? It is the budding consciousness of our child. Really? Jamie reached forward in awe to touch the little sapling but as soon as she stepped off of the mossy dirt of the forest floor and onto the hot sand of the desert, everything changed. Their surroundings spun in wild circles and the scenery couldn’t seem to decide if it was a forest and a desert or a desert forest. The last thing she saw before she was transported out of the meld was an image of the little sapling in the middle of what was once the desert but which had transformed into a red sanded forest. She opened her eyes and saw that her hand was outstretched in front of her as if to reach for the tiny tree. Spock lay next to her panting; his pupils were almost completely dilated. “What’s wrong? Why’d you stop?” Jamie asked worriedly. Spock swallowed heavily and then turned to look at her, “Our minds are unusually compatible. They were trying to form a permanent bond.” “Why’d you stop it then?” “It is dangerous to form a bond without the aid of a healer. I am not fully trained in the art of melding. You could end up trapped in my mind or vice versa.” “Oh.” Jamie sighed. “That was awesome though. Can we do it again sometime?” “Possibly. However, I will not risk delving too deeply again.” Spock let out a breath of air his cheeks tinted jade green. “Ok.” That was when she noticed that he was rather worked up from the meld. A lecherous idea sprung to mind. “Can I try something?” She asked in a tone of voice that was downright filthy. “What do you propose?” Spock raised his eyebrow. “It’s a surprise I just need your consent…” She smirked flirtatiously. “Very well. You have my consent.” Spock agreed warily. Jamie moved suddenly to straddle Spock’s crotch, his eyes widened as she ground herself into his erection. She pulled her t-shirt over her head and took his left hand in hers placing it on the swell of her stomach. Then she grasped is right hand and without any warning began to lick his index finger. Spock outright moaned and his left hand ran over her abdomen, caressing it. She continued to grind herself into him as she twirled her tongue around his finger. Then she took his middle digit inside of her mouth along with the index and hollowed her cheeks out sucking on both fingers like she would a cock. Spock groaned in pleasure and moved his hand to grasp her hip in a bruising grip. “Tor fam pehkau!” Jamie smirked at his exclamation and took in his ring finger. She licked at the spaces in between his fingers and smiled at him. When she took all three digits into her mouth and sucked voraciously Spock threw his head back and moaned loudly. Not for the first time, Jamie was glad that most of the rooms in the house were soundproofed. She leaned down still lapping at his fingers and rubbed his clothed erection with her hand while she simultaneously nipped at the tips of his fingers. Spock came harder than she had ever seen him. After he came down from his orgasm she glanced down at him, “Uh oh. Did I make you cum in your pants like a 14 year old?” She said impishly. He growled and flipped her over ready to go another round. The nonexistence of  Vulcan refraction periods was wonderful. ************ Later that night at the dinner table, Jamie and Spock announced their plans to marry to Amanda and Sarek (who knew nothing of the fact that mere minutes before dinner the pair had been fucking like Terran rabbits in Jamie’s bed). They both thought it was a rather good solution to the predicament they were in with Frank. Amanda was overjoyed that she would get to see her boy get married (even if it was more a marriage of convenience than one born of love) while Sarek seemed completely indifferent except for the twinkle in his eye. Jamie would have compared him to the old legend of Santa Claus if Santa had been a tall, dark haired Vulcan who scared the crap out of everyone he encountered barring his wife. After the meal had been cleared and the dishes washed and put away, Amanda took her son aside. She led him into her office before turning to him with tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant baby.” She said hugging him. “It is well. You had good reason.” Spock assured her. “No I didn’t. You’re a teenager; you’re supposed to make mistakes. I guess I just got so caught up in having a perfectly well behaved Vulcan son that I never thought you might have another side that you’d never shown to me.” “Frankly mother, I was not attempting to advertise my sexual proclivities to you.” Spock said matter of factly. “And I’m not complaining. The less I know, the better.” She paused. “All I’m saying is that I forgive you for deceiving me. I love you sweetheart.” “Thankyou mother.” “But I think we should get you tested.” “Tested?” Spock asked. “Fertility. Just to see if this was a one-time thing or if you could ever have more kids.” Amanda explained. “That is reasonable.” ********** The doctors were absolutely floored (or as floored as Vulcan doctors could get). Spock apparently defied all known rules of hybridization. He had not only passed all of his fertility tests with flying colors, he had exceeded the viable sperm count for most vulcan and human males combined! They were baffled, to say the least. But it was clear that he could definitely have more children should he so desire. Unfortunately Spock turned 18 on the same day the results came in and with the upcoming court case Jamie couldn’t test out Spock’s newfound fertility for risk of him being accused of statutory rape. So it was with a heavy heart that Jamie said the one thing she thought she would never say, “I can’t wait to get married!”     Chapter End Notes My Vulcan sucks, what I was trying to have Spock say was "do not stop", I probably butchered it though. Comment please!! ***** As Long As I'm Living, My baby You'll Be ***** Chapter Summary I'm evil. The end. Chapter Notes Chapter 14 Trigger Warnings: -illness/injury -surgery -possible miscarriage -birth (not Jamie's) See the end of the chapter for more notes     Typically an expecting mother will visit her doctor once every four weeks during the second trimester of her pregnancy. Because Jamie’s child was the second vulcan-human hybrid to ever be conceived, the doctors on Vulcan required her to come in for exams more often than usual just as a precaution. At 18 weeks pregnant Jamie was visiting the prenatal clinic once every week. It was frankly exhausting. The one exciting part of that whole ordeal was the fact that during her next visit she would be finally determining the sex of her baby and would thus be able to help Spock pick out a name (he got final say since he was going to be the baby’s sole guardian). At her last appointment with Doctor Storek he had explained to her that Vulcan genes were dominant over their human counterparts and so her baby would most likely physically look much more Vulcan than it would human (like Spock). He also told her that at this stage in the pregnancy it was highly probable that her baby would begin to develop some of these physical traits. He said, however, that it was not likely to cause any major problems as Amanda had been fine and her baby was more Vulcan than Jamie’s was. So Jamie remained calm because everything would be fine. Until it wasn’t. ********** It was one of those rare days where Sarek was working from home in his office. Amanda had gone out to run some errands (how she could stand the sweltering midday heat was beyond Jamie) and Spock was already at school. Jamie had lain down for an after lunch nap to take the edge of off the heatstroke she was sure to be developing any day now. The problem arose when she woke up an hour later and rushed to the toilet to puke up her lunch. Nausea was not abnormal for pregnancies, Jamie knew that first hand. But when she stood up again her head swam and her vision began to blacken. She grabbed the counter for support and felt a horrible sweep of pain rocket up her spine from her abdomen. Her vision darkened again with the pain and she barely had time to lean over the sink before she was vomiting again. Fear crept up her neck and made her hair stand on end. Don’t worry, Jamieshe told herself. It’s fine. Its probably just back pain and nausea. Go lay down. Jamie stumbled back into bed not bothering to wash out the sink and fell into a fitful sleep. When she next awoke she couldn’t tell how much time had passed and when she tried to roll over to glance at the clock she was met with a stab of the worst pain she had ever experienced, it was such a crippling feeling that it had her stomach twisting again. She coughed out a mouthful of stomach bile onto the pillow in front of her. Help. She needed help. Jamie staggered out of bed and towards to door. She could feel her hair sticking in a sweaty mass to her face and her tank top and pajama shorts clung to her skin with wetness. When she finally reached the hallway she tried to call out but her voice didn’t seem to be working, the only sound that came out was a pained whine. Her head spun again wildly and she careened into the wall losing her balance. She was afraid. So afraid. Something was very, very wrong and she didn’t know how to fix it. Jamie slid to the floor by the wall and was finally able to get out a word “Amanda!” She called hoarsely in desperation. There was no response. She had to get to the comm. Torturously she made her way down the stairs step by step trying not to fall. When she reached the base of the steps she collapsed in exhaustion and gagged out whatever was left in her stomach. The pain was only getting worse. Her baby was hurt. Her baby needed her. Her baby was going to die if she didn’t get help! With all of the strength she could muster she pushed herself onto her hands and knees and crawled towards Amanda’s office. When she reached the handsome room, she found it empty and dark. With a sob of despair she slumped against the doorframe. That was when she noticed that Sarek’s office door was closed, he usually kept it open when he wasn’t using it. The room was soundproofed which explained why he hadn’t been able to hear her. With the last of her energy she pulled herself to her feet and hobbled down the hallway towards the closed door. When she reached it, she turned the knob and stumbled into the room. Sarek was sitting at his desk having a video conference with a number of strange people she had never met. To her it sounded as if they were speaking gibberish but it could have been Standard English for all her muddled brain could decipher.  Sarek looked up seeming annoyed that she had interrupted his meeting. But then he took in her hunched form, sweat soaked clothes and skin, pale skin, pain filled grimace, and smell of sick. A moment later he was rushing from his chair, “Councilors I must depart! There appears to be an emergency with my daughter!” He said urgently flipping the comm off. If she had been fully cognizant Jamie might have smiled at his use of the word daughter. “Jamie what is wrong?” He said gripping her by the upper arms in concern. “I dunnoo, b-baabbyy. Somthin’ matter wif baybee.” She slurred. The last thing she recalled was Sarek picking her up bridal style and rushing her into the kitchen yelling. “Computer! Contact Emergency Ambulatory Service!” ********* The next thing she knew she was in a strange looking ambulance. Sarek was hovering anxiously next to her and two paramedics were bending over her. She gasped in alarm trying to sit up but one of the medics merely pushed her bodily back down saying “Kroykah!” in a stern voice. Sarek, noticing she was awake moved to rest a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I have been informed that you are having a miscarriage. Your body is also going into shock. Thus far a link between the two has not been recognized.” Jamie began to panic. Miscarriage?! No! No no no no no no no! She couldn’t be losing her baby! Not her baby! She would do anything, anythingto save it. She grabbed Sarek’s forearm in a tight hold. Through the oxygen mask she was wearing she was able to choke out a string of words. “If…choice…” she paused to gasp for breath, “baby…not…me…baby.” Sarek’s eyes widened in understanding, “If there is a choice you wish for the surgeons to save your child and not you?” Jamie nodded excruciatingly around the mass of tubes hooking her up to various machines. Then it was dark. ********** Spock was taking his daily meal break along with the rest of the pupils at his school when one of the instructors approached him. “S’chn T’gai Spock?” He asked formally. “I am he.” Spock responded. “Come with me.” The instructor turned on his heel and marched away. Spock politely folded his hands behind his back and followed leaving his food unattended at the table. The instructor led him into the reception area of the school where he saw a familiar figure. “Mother.” Amanda turned around and Spock could see that her face was ruddy and wet with tears. “Mother what is wrong?” Spock hurried to her side. Amanda let out a shuddering breath, “I-it’s Jamie, Spock.” She sniffled, “It’s not good. We have to go to the hospital.” The world fell out from underneath Spock’s feet. The trip to Shi’Kahr hospital was a blur in his mind and he barely remembered how he got to the waiting room of the prenatal/neonatal surgical floor. When he arrived, his father was standing by the doors to the operating rooms clasping and unclasping his hands in the most obvious display of emotion Spock had ever seen him present. The action was somehow grounding and Spock found himself speaking for the first time in what felt like hours, “What happened, Father?” His sire turned to face him cautiously, “I was participating in a conference with the Councilors of Terran Africa when Jamie entered my office. She was not well.” Sarek paused to glance at the sliding OR doors again, “I contacted the EAS. They took her into surgery. They do not know what ails her. When I last saw her, the EAS personnel informed me that she was going into shock and miscarrying.” Spock sat down heavily in one of the few chairs provided. He looked beseechingly at his father, “Am I going to lose them both?” “I do not know.” Was his only response. ********** EARTH: “Ahhhgggrrr!” She screamed. “It’s ok sweetie, you’re almost there! Just one more push! Ok on the count of three! One…two…PUSH!” Gaila howled as she gave one final push before collapsing against her hospital bed in exhaustion. “Did I do it?” “Yes, you did it! Good job love!” The smiling nurse holding her hand said encouragingly. That was when she heard the cries. A high pitched wailing sounded out through the brightly lit delivery room. “C-can I hold her?” She asked blearily. “Just a moment dear. They have to scan her information in.” The nurse squeezed her hand again. Gaila busied herself by looking at the happy safari animal print scrubs that the woman was wearing. After a moment the nurse turned back to her. “Ok dear. Tell us her name. Spell it out too.” “Her name is Hannah. H-A-N-N-A-H. Jamie. J-A-M-I-E. Vro. V-R-O. ” Gaila said. “Hannah Jamie Vro.” The midwife repeated from where she was inputting it into a computer. “Yes ma’am.” Gaila smiled happily has her daughter was handed to her, as soon as she was in her mother’s arms the baby ceased her wails. She got her first look at the girl she had just spent the last six hours in labor for. With that first look into her crystalline eyes, Gaila knew it was all worth it. Hannah had pale green skin, more pastel than jade like her own, and a matt of orange hair to match her mother’s. The newborn’s eyes however, were the most beautiful sight the new mom had ever seen: they were a deep sapphire blue like endless mini oceans were reflected in them.  Gaila knew in that moment that she was home. It didn’t matter that she had ran away from her birth home as a young child and ended up in the Terran foster care system. It didn’t matter that Hannah had no father. It didn’t matter that right now her best friend was whiling away the hours in scorching Vulcan heat instead of at her bedside. It didn’t matter because she was finally home. She had Hannah now, and Hannah would always have her. They were a team. Very softly she leaned down and brushed her lips against the forehead of her baby, she then turned to whisper in the tiny ear, “I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.” **********   Chapter End Notes Comment please! ***** Butterfly Goats and the Nature of Forgiveness ***** Chapter Notes Hey everyone! I know you have all been freaking out, so here's the new chapter. Now I have a few notes: this is not the end of the story yet. There WILL be a sequel but it will take place farther into the future. Thank you to my new beta reader, Marie! Neuroscience Girl is possibly the best supporter of my writing ever, she is wonderful! I will try to get in at least two more chapters today, so be looking out for those. And lastly, this story WILL (probably) have a happy ending so stay tuned. <3 Elaine Chapter 15 Trigger Warnings: -hospital pain killers -possible miscarriage See the end of the chapter for more notes   Jamie was floating. She was suspended in a pool of crystal clear water. Around her swam a multitude of guppy sized unicorns. The sky sparkled and the sun flashed every known color of the rainbow all at once. Then the scene transformed. She was sitting on the porch of a quiet farmhouse, not unlike the one she grew up in. She swung back and forth in the seat of a trellis swing, a glass of lemonade in one hand and a padd in the other. In the distance she could see a child and a dog running about playing in the grass. After a few moments the pair began to bound towards her. She smiled as a fluffy golden retriever rocketed up the porch steps closely followed by a small boy no more than five. The boy looked up at her from under a mop of black hair with sky blue eyes. He smiled, “Hi mommy.” He said as he presented her with a crude bouquet of wild daisies. She ruffled the boy’s hair adoringly and he smiled up at her again. She ran her fingers through his messy hair noticing something for the first time: his ears were curved into tiny points. ********** Her eyes felt like someone had taped leaden weights to them and an annoying beeping noise was echoing close by. Jamie peeked her eyes open one at a time and allowed herself to take in her surroundings. She was in a bed in what appeared to be a hospital room. An empty chair stood vigil next to the uncomfortable hospital bed. Everything smelled noxiously of chemicals and bleach. She tried to suck in a breath and found that her airway was blocked by some sort of a tube. A door opened nearby and she attempted to turn to look but found the path blocked by a menagerie of tubes and wires. A tall dark haired human woman wearing a nurse’s uniform entered the room and began to check the various holo screens around Jamie’s bed. Upon spotting Jamie awake and watching her she started slightly before breaking into a wide, toothy grin.  “You’re awake. Here let me take this out.” She gestured to the tube down Jamie’s throat. After she was free of the breathing apparatus the nurse offered her a small cup of water to drink. Once she had finished the water she helped her to sit up slightly. “What happened? Where am I?” Jamie croaked. “You were very sick Miss Kirk, but the doctors fixed you all up and you’re going to be just fine.” The nurse smiled gently. It all came back to her in pieces, throwing up in the bathroom, stumbling down the stairs, Sarek, an ambulance. “My baby!” She yelped throwing the sheets off of herself. When she looked down she was hit with a wave of crippling fear, her stomach was flat, eerily flat. She knew that there was no way her baby could have survived this young. “Unfortunately Miss Kirk, your baby didn’t make it.” Jamie felt her eyes fill with tears and she began to shake uncontrollably. She whipped her head around to demand an explanation when she noticed something very odd. The nurse had somehow turned into a giant cockroach and she was munching away on a humungous stalk of broccoli that had mysteriously appeared on the tiled floor. Then the door swung open and a troupe full of mariachi ponies trotted into the room playing their guitars and whinnying out a song. Next the window crashed in and a very large goat flew in through the window on sparkly pink butterfly wings “Surprise! Happy Easter!” It sang. The walls began to argue about a tribal ceremony they had planned for later that day and the floor agreed with their conclusions. Jamie’s bed got up and sauntered out the door.    ********** Jamie woke up and with a gasp sat bolt upright in bed. She looked wildly around the room half expecting to see a group of singing ponies or a cockroach nurse but all she found was Spock sitting next to her bed in a comfortable chair. He was leaning with his arms folded on the edge of her bed and his head rested on top of them. Dark circles were present under his eyes and his hair was slightly out of order.  He looked quite plainly exhausted. She took in her surroundings, white walls and tiled floor, heart monitor beeping steadily away, IVs stuck into her forearm...she was most certainly in a hospital room but this time she could remember how she had gotten there (plus her bed hadn't yet gotten up and danced off, so that was a good sign). The room was dark and silent, it was obviously night time. She reached to her throat to look for a breathing tube and found nothing. The only sounds present were Spock’s soft breathing and the steady blip…blip…blip of the monitor next to her bed. Suddenly remembering her dream she hastily pulled back the warm blanket covering her and almost wailed in despair when she saw the cleanly knit incision across her stomach. It took her a moment before she realized that while she definitely had been in surgery, her stomach was still very much rounded, perhaps even more so than it was before she had fallen ill. She let out a sigh of relief and reached out her arm to wake Spock. “Spock?” She whispered lightly shaking him. The doctors had almost certainly put her on some very strong pain killers because she felt perfectly fine when she should probably be feeling like hell (also there were the strange mariachi ponies and guppy sized unicorns to contend with). Spock sat up hurriedly when he heard her voice. “Jamie!” If she didn’t know better she would have said he was smiling. “Spock? What happened?” She asked quietly. “The baby began to rapidly become more physically vulcan than human. The sudden change was too much for your body and it began to reject the baby as if it were a foreign parasite. Your body then began to go into shock because it was essentially attacking itself.” “Jeez.” She blew out a puff of air. “Is everything ok now?” “For the most part. However, I have been told that you will need to remain on bedrest for at least two weeks to allow yourself to heal.” “And the baby’s ok?” “Our son is fine.” Jamie felt immensely relieved upon hearing those words. “Wait, did you say son?” “I did.” Spock’s lips twitched in amusement as Jamie’s eyes went wide in awe. She looked down at her rounded belly. “Hello.” She said to it- him. She was having a son! Then a thought occurred to her. “Where is everybody?” She asked warily, “It’s just I just had some really strange dreams.” “It is currently the nightshift. You have been out of surgery for approximately eight point two four hours. My parents went home to rest, they will return in the morning. I was allowed to stay because I convinced the physicians that you were my bondmate.” Spock said guiltily. Jamie laughed. “You did what?” “I convinced the attending physicians that you were my bondmate.” Spock repeated. “It is not technically untrue. You are my fiancé.” “Vulcans and their technicalities.” Jamie yawned tiredly. “Sleep Jamie Kirk. I will be here when you awaken.” Spock ran his fingers softly through her hair in the way he knew she liked.  “Ok.” She said sleepily. ********** 10 Hours Earlier: “Spock. I would speak with thee.” Sarek gestured for Spock to follow him. Once they were ensconced in a relatively private nook of the hospital waiting room Spock’s father spoke. “I apologize, my son.” “What do you apologize for, father?” Spock asked slightly confused. “I could not comprehend why you wished to sacrifice your future for an unborn child of no import. But I now understand. You do not sacrifice your potential and future for this child, this child isyour future.” “Yes.” Spock agreed. “If this future should abandon you today, know that I will not.” “Thank you, father.” Spock said grateful for the rare show of support from Sarek. The elder vulcan nodded before turning on his heel and walking swiftly away. Spock hoped with all of his heart that no one would abandon him today, but if something was to happen to Jamie or their baby, Spock was thankful to have his father by his side.  ********** Jamie had learned at a very young age that quite often, not everything is what it seems. It took her believing she was going to lose her son for her to realize that she wanted him. She wanted the little black haired boy and his golden retriever. She didn’t want to leave after he was born, she wanted to stay. She wanted to stay with him with all of her heart. The day after she awoke for the second time was a blur of doctors, tests, and questions but she barely paid any attention to it. All she saw was her baby and all she knew was that he was still alive, she was still alive, and everything was ok.     Chapter End Notes Ok, so for those of you who were super confused or English ins't your best language, everything until the part where Jamie wakes up with Spock sleeping with his head on her hospital bed was a crazy morphine induced dream. It is supposed to be weird. Comment Please!! ***** Fuzzy Blankets and Protective Vulcans ***** Chapter Notes Short chapter for you all!! More coming soon but I'm running on four hours of sleep because my anemia made me sick this morning so I'm gonna take a rest before I write the next one! <3 Elaine Chapter 16 Triggers: -mentions of miscarriage -mentions of death by Starfleet See the end of the chapter for more notes     Jamie was curled up in bed wrapped in about a dozen blankets and a protective vulcan. Her bedside table was covered in anything she could possibly need while on bedrest: water, juice, soup, snacks, a hairbrush, deodorant in two different scents, three padds, and as many pickled gummi bears as she could possibly want. Bedrest was boring in that she wasn’t allowed to do much of anything such as walk with Spock to school, help Amanda cook, or you know, leave the damn bed. But it was at least comfortable. She was reading a new book on one of the padds with Spock seated next to her working on what appeared to be advanced warp physics when the padd in her hand suddenly buzzed with an incoming comm call (Spock had linked her comm to her padd to she wouldn’t have to get out of bed to answer it). “Gaila!” She answered the call with a smile despite her weary demeanor. “OMG J! Guess wha- shit you look like you just got dipped in chalk and then someone decided to make you look like a raccoon.” Gaila appraised her. “Shut up. I just got out of the hospital.” Jamie explained. “Really? Me too! Wait, I thought your baby wasn’t due yet?” “It’s not, I almost miscarried.” “Crap J! Are you guys ok?!” Gaila’s worried face filled the small screen as she leaned closer to the comm on her end. She always seemed to want to jump right through the comm whenever she was worried. “We’re ok. I’m just on bedrest now.” Jamie grimaced pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. “You are most certainly not ‘ok’” Spock piped up not glancing up from his work, “the both of you nearly died.” “WHAT?!” Gaila shouted. “Thanks Spock.” Jamie said sarcastically. “YOU NEARLY DIED?!” “Yeah but we’re in the clear now. We’ll be fine.” Jamie explained. “Fine has variable definitions.” “Will you SHUT UP.” Jamie poked his shoulder in exasperation. “You’re not helping.” “Very well.” Spock continued his work in silence. “Yeah, so what was it you wanted to tell me La?” Jamie asked returning to her conversation with Gaila. The orion girl went from surly to excited in two seconds flat. “There’s someone I want you to meet!” She disappeared from the screen for a moment and then returned carrying a tiny bundle. “YOU HAD HER?!” Jamie practically screamed in excitement. “Yup!” Gaila said proudly, “Jamie Kirk, meet Hannah Jamie Vro.” Gaila revealed the tiny slack face of her sleeping baby. Jamie’s heart melted, “You named her after me?” She whispered staring at Hannah in wonderment. “Yeah. I thought it was fitting. I know it didn’t seem like it-I can put on a convincing front when I want to- but you came to me in a time was I was all alone in the world. You gave me the courage I needed to be the best mother I could be. So Hannah and I both owe you our thanks.” Gaila brushed a tear from her cheek with the hand that wasn’t cradling Hannah to her chest. Jamie smiled at the pair. “She’s beautiful La. Absolutely beautiful.” Gaila smiled through her tears, “Isn’t she?” “Definitely.” “Hey, maybe if you decided to keep yours they can be friends.” Gaila said excitedly. Jamie hadn’t exactlygotten around to telling anyone that she wouldn’t be giving up her son but now seemed as good a time as any. “I’m gonna.” She blurted out. “Gonna what?” Gaila cocked her head. “Keep him.” Jamie said. Spock jerked his head around so fast that she was sure he had given himself whiplash. “Really?!” “You will stay?” They said at the same time. “Yes.” She smiled answering both their questions. ********** Jamie was leaning against Spock’s bare chest as he sat behind her against the headboard. It was hours after her surprising revelation and Spock had still not quite gotten over the news.   “You are certain?” “Yes, Spock. I’m sure. I want him, it just took me almost losing him to see it.” “This is an unpredicted but fortunate turn of events.” Spock said pressing his lips to her naked shoulder. She had taken her top off so that he could get a better look at their son and he had removed his due to the fact that Jamie had pronounced his shirt ‘scratchy and stupid’. “How so?” She asked. “He loves you.” Spock said running his hands over the bump, “In addition, I am pleased that you have decided to stay with us.” “Me too. Holy crap, we’re gonna be married soon, aren’t we?” “As soon as you are well enough, yes. The trial has not halted.” Spock pressed his palms flat against her stomach. “Wow. That’s kind of crazy.” “Indeed.” “Are we going to get our own house?” Jamie asked as she relaxed into his touch closing her eyes.   “If you wish.” “I think we should hold off on that. You’re still in school and I think I’m probably gonna need your mom’s help.” “Very well. We will continue living with my parents.” “When do you finish school?” She asked looking up at him. “I will officially have completed my primary education in 3.276 months. I will then take the Vulcan Science Academy entrance exams.” “Ok.” Jamie knew it was a tradition in Spock’s family to attend the VSA upon graduation from lower education. “What if you don’t get in?” “I have been contemplating application to the Starfleet Academy.” “What?” Jamie spun around dislodging his hands. “NO! Absolutely not!” She sad beginning to panic, “You can’t leave us like that.” “Remain calm,” Spock said soothingly, “I will not if you do not wish for me to. However, it does offer excellent scientific opportunities.” “Yeah because scientific opportunities are sooo important when you’re dead.” Jamie huffed. “It is not a requirement that I accept a posting on a ship following graduation. I could feasibly obtain a position in the San Francisco laboratories or as a professor.” “Fine. You can do that, but absolutely no space! Got it?” She looked at him sternly. “I understand.” He solemnly agreed. “Good. You better. Now about this wedding…”     Chapter End Notes Comment please!!!!!!!! ***** Ambassador Sarek of Vulcan: Bridesmaid Extraordinaire ***** Chapter Summary The Wedding!! Chapter Notes Ok. Let me preface this with saying how sorry I am that this took me so long to write. For some reason couldn't get the motivation to do it, I had no inspiration. But no I do! So here you go! Again, I'm really sorry. There will probably be somewhere around 4-6 more chapters of this story. Then I will start on the sequel. See the end of the chapter for more notes     Jamie Kirk had never been a particularly romantic girl; she was not the sort to spend the long hours of her childhood imagining what junior prom or her wedding day would look like (she never expected to attend either). But here she stood, 16 years old today, and about to walk down the aisle with a man she had known for less than 6 months. To say it was surprising would be an understatement. It was only made more shocking by the fact that she was prominently showing her 5 ½ month baby belly. She could definitively say that she had never for one moment expected her 16th birthday to be spent marrying a vulcan who had knocked her up. Albeit, she was only doing it because of her deranged stepfather who would just as soon kill her and her unborn son as he would house them. Marrying Spock was thelogical solution to escaping Frank’s custody while the kidnapping trial against Spock’s family waged on. Plus it would make her emancipation all the more logical and rational in court. She turned to look at herself in the mirror; her hair was piled atop her head in a blonde mass that was half fishtail braid and half bun but nevertheless looked stunning on her. Amanda had shown up at her bedroom promptly at 8 am with breakfast, a curling iron, and the most hairspray Jamie had ever seen. Three hours of unsuccessful attempts at copying online tutorials later and Amanda gave up and created the messy style that Jamie now wore. Her makeup was simple and understated to highlight her aqua eyes and cherry lips (also Amanda’s work). Then came the dress. Jamie did not like dresses, especially wedding dresses. So when Amanda had shown up excitedly with a wide variety of dresses for Jamie to pick from, she had chosen the simplest she could find: a light blue number that matched her eyes and came complete with a wrap-around skirt that fell to her ankles.  It was an overall pleasing look in her opinion. She turned away from the mirror her dress swaying around her feet, her bare toes padding softly on the cool floor as she opened her door and stepped into the hallway. Jamie’s footsteps made barely a sound as she ghosted towards Spock’s room knowing that Amanda would surely stop her if she saw what her ward was up to. “And what exactly do you think you’re doing missy?” Amanda’s voice said teasingly from behind the girl. ‘Damn’ Jamie thought freezing. Caught redfooted. “Back in your room.” She ushered Jamie back down the hall with a hand on her shoulder. “We’re almost ready to start so put your shoes on. You’ll see him in a moment.” Amanda said referring to Spock. Jamie shuffled petulantly back into her bedroom and closed the door behind her. When she turned around, however, she was met with the sight of Spock dressed in full ceremonial robes looking out the window into the gardens where their wedding would be held in a few short minutes. “Hey.” She said softly. “Hello.” Spock said turning to look at her. Upon taking his first look at his soon to be wife, he faltered and his eyes grew round as saucers. “What?” Jamie said spinning back to look at herself in the mirror. “Is there something wrong with how I look?” “No. There is not.” Spock said softly as he walked towards Jamie. He cleared his throat stopping in front of the girl, “You look quite pleasing.” “Why, thank you.” Jamie cocked her hip playfully and raised her eyebrows. “I believe it is customary in these situations to wish one an agreeable anniversary of their birth.” “Are you saying ‘Happy Birthday’?” Jamie teased. “I am.” He plainly stated, looking for all the world intensely serious. “Well…thanks…” She said awkwardly. After a moment of silence Jamie returned to examining herself in the mirror. She smoothed her dress nervously and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear before deciding it looked better untucked and returning it to its original position.  “I never thought I’d get married, you know.” She sighed turning back to Spock. “I mean, I know that we’re only doing it because of Frank,” She looked down at her bare toes with those words and consequently missed the clenching of Spock’s jaw and furrowing of his brows. “I know that we have to do it so that he doesn’t wind up getting custody of us,” She gestured to the swell of her stomach, “But still… it’s strange, yanno?” “I do. I too did not expect this. I am not well liked among my peers, as I am certain you have concluded.” “No shit.” “Most would not bond with a ‘half-breed’.” Spock spit out the word half-breed as if it were a particularly disgusting curse word. Jamie shook her head and grasped Spock’s arm. “Well I do. I want to marry him and have his half-breed babies.” After a second she seemed to realize what she had just said and took a step back blushing furiously. Babies…plural.  Don’t get attached. She reminded herself. Sure you two bang like rabbits and you’re getting married but it doesn’t mean anything. Sooner or later he’ll leave. Everyone always does. “Thank god your mom arranged for us to have a human wedding. I’m not sure that the pipsqueak and I could handle hours upon hours of Vulcan ceremonials.” She said nervously trying to break the tension. “Indeed.”   “Well…um… I’ll see you out there I guess.” She gestured to the decorated gardens. “Indeed.” Spock said again, nodding politely before turning on his heel and walking stiffly away. Geez, what’s his deal? She asked herself. ********** Five minutes before she was due in the garden to be married there came a knock on her door. “Come in!” She called from where she was sitting on her bed putting on a pair of ridiculously strappy heels that Amanda had insisted upon making her wear. Expecting it to be the aforementioned woman she was surprised when a very handsomely dressed Sarek entered her room. “Hello.” She said uncomfortably standing up, Sarek had always greatly intimidated her. “I would speak with you, Jamie.” The tall Vulcan gestured for her to resume her position on the edge of her bed. “Of course.” She sat back down. “What would you like to talk about?” To her surprise, Sarek took a seat on the bed next to her. “It has come to my attention that you believe yourself to be an imposition upon my family. I wish to tell you that you are incorrect.” Sarek gave an uncharacteristic sigh. “When my son was a young child, I urged him to follow the Vulcan way. I was convinced that he would lead a more fulfilling life as such. Over the past months I have come to the conclusion that I was utterly mistaken. I expected that human qualities would be detrimental to his work ethic and focus in school, instead he has only flourished more in his education. His meditation has been more lucrative and his grades have risen higher than they ever were previously.” “Oh.” She said not sure where this was going. “You are the reason for this.” The man explained. “You have made him feel as if he has a purpose, a direction in life. You have made him… happy. I wish to thank you for this, as I am quite sure he would never have reached this state of being without your presence.” “Oh…um… you’re welcome. I mean… I didn’t really do anything…” “On the contrary, you have done much. I understand that you do not nor have you ever had a particularly beneficial family situation.” “…yeah…” “I wish for you to know that you will always have a place among my family. You are as much a part of this clan as I am. In addition, if you would be amenable to it… it would be pleasing for me to name you my daughter.” Sarek finished. Jamie’s eyes widened. She had never had a family and much less someone she could call a father. But it appeared that she had accidentally stumbled her way right into one, and she couldn’t be more grateful. “Yes, of course.” She smiled hugely before throwing her arms around Sarek’s shoulders in a hug. He stiffened for a moment before awkwardly hugging her back. When they broke apart Jamie turned to look at him. “Walk me down the aisle?” “I did not take you to be a particularly traditional girl. You wish for me to accompany you to the altar as humans did many years ago to signify the property of a woman being handed over to a new male owner?” “That’s not what it means today.” She chuckled. “But, still, you’re right, you can walk behind me.” She then burst into laughter. “Y-you can be m-my bridesmaid.” She guffawed at the imaged of Sarek in a bridesmaid dress. “Very well.” He said as if it was perfectly reasonable for a highly dignified Vulcan man to be the bridesmaid of a 16 year old pregnant girl. “It is time to go.” He rose from the bed and offered Jamie his hand, allowing her time to finish off her makeup before the pair continued down the stairs. Amanda came hurrying in just as they reached the bottom of the steps. “We’re ready!” She said excitedly. She handed Jamie a bouquet of flowers before grasping the arm of her husband. “Let’s go. Jamie, you can start walking when the music begins.” She attempted to pull Sarek with her out the door but the Vulcan remained firmly rooted to the spot. “I apologize, my wife. But I will not be joining you in the audience. I am a bridesmaid.” He explained very seriously but with a twinkle in his eye that said he understood exactly what he had signed up for in becoming Jamie’s bridesmaid. “You’re a what?” Amanda said laughing. “Oh dear, this’ll be good.” She said turning and striding away shaking her head and chuckling. Seconds later soft piano music began to sound from outside and the glass garden doors swung open automatically. Jamie turned to Sarek handing him her bouquet before marching outside attempting to give off an air of confidence when she felt anything but. When she arrived in the beautifully decorated garden she had to pause to take it all in. Dusk was just falling in the desert but the garden itself brought a life to the barren land. The area was overflowing with flowers of all sorts and the overhead trellises were decorated with thousands of tiny fairy lights. The audience was small, a collection of people she barely knew or had never met before come to witness Spock’s wedding. In the front row sat Amanda, Sarek’s empty chair on the right. It took Jamie a moment to realize just who was sitting to Amanda’s left, but she beamed as soon as she recognized the mop of curly red hair paired with jade skin. Gaila was holding a bundle wrapped in a white blanket, peeking out the top of the fabric was a fuzz of flaming hair that perfectly matched her mother’s. A sandy haired woman who could only be Gaila’s foster mom sat next to the pair calmly. With a newfound bravery she began to walk slowly towards where she knew Spock would be standing, not daring to look up at him yet. She assertively stepped down the flower petal lined path. That was, until three steps later her stupid heels caught the long skirt of her dress and she stumbled. She would have fallen over if it wasn’t for Sarek standing behind her who was able to catch her in time. She blushed and continued on her way until two steps later she tripped again. That was it. She now knew that pregnancy, long dresses, and heels did NOT work. In one fluid movement she kicked off her shoes and ripped the wrap around skirt off her dress, leaving her barefooted and in a dress that came barely to the middle of her thigh. She began walking purposefully away from her discard clothing. When she spared a look to the rows of chairs she saw Gaila looking like she was trying her hardest not to laugh and Amanda trying not to snort at her husband carrying a bouquet, heels, and a skirt while walking down the aisle doggedly following a very frustrated teenage girl. Jamie just wanted to get this over with. Then she could take this ridiculous outfit off and go back to bed. Intent on completing the ceremony as quickly as possible, she finally spared a glance at Spock and what she saw nearly made her stop in her tracks. The rest of the guests were all focused on her so no one was looking at Spock but her in that moment, and he was smiling,really smiling. Not just a quirk of the lips, or a crinkle around the eyes but a full blown smile, and it was gorgeous. Her heart swelled up like a balloon and she could feel her chest tightening. All of the nervousness, irritation, and insecurity she had felt only moments before popped like a soap bubble on a porcupine. She was getting married. She was getting married to Spock. And she wasn’t the least bit scared, not anymore. She was happy.  When she reached the altar she stepped up and took Spock’s wrist (taking his hand would have been an obscene and exhibitionist move in front of all the guests) in front of the human wedding officiant. She turned to look back at the audience and saw Amanda smiling softly, Sarek holding her bouquet and clothing, and Gaila with her daughter. When she looked back up at Spock she saw him staring down at her in what she could only think was adoration. For the first time in her life, she felt like she had a family.       Chapter End Notes Please comment! I love to know what people think! ***** Yoga Pants and Honeymoons ***** Chapter Summary Jamie and Spock go on their honeymoon. Chapter Notes I am so sorry. Really, I am. I have been having some personal issues lately in addition to not being able to get this chapter written right. But here it finally is and there will be more to come now that I got this out of the way. I'm really sorry for the long wait, thanks for sticking with it! Also, this chapter, like many others, is not beta read (or actually edited at all), so if you find any mistakes, tell me in the comments! -Elaine See the end of the chapter for more notes     “Tell me, Ms. Kirk, were you a direct victim of domestic violence at the hands of your stepfather, Frank Davis? “Yes.” “And were you, or were you not physically attacked by Frank Davis to the point of endangering lives of you and your child?” “Yes.” “People of the jury, on August 19th, 2248 Mr. Frank Davis assaulted and attempted to drown his pregnant stepdaughter. Two days later, when proper medical care could be accessed for Ms. Jamie Kirk this report was filed:” A click sounded as a holoscreen emitted the image of a virtual hospital report. “as you can plainly see, Ms. Kirk’s injuries are indeed consistent with that of her testimony. Furthermore in the first ever occurrence in a Terran court, a telepathic mental testimony will be given by an impartial and unbiased party on behalf of Ms. Kirk.” Gasps as the jury and witnesses looked around at each other for confirmation. “Obection! Your Honor, mental testimony is not a legal form of evidence on Earth.” “That is incorrect Ms. Miltencamp. As of seventeen standard minutes ago mental testimony was legalized on Earth.” The judge interjected.  “Thank you, Your Honor, as I was saying, mental testimony will be offered today on behalf of the defense.” -CLICK- Jamie shut off the holo screen. Even with the trial over, it was still being broadcast by news stations Earth wide as the first trial to have used a mental testimony in a Terran court of law. Even with Frank Davis shipped off for rehabilitation on the Tantalus Penal Colony, even with her fears of ever having to go back to him, she was forced to holographically relive the scariest day in her life every time she tried to watch the evening episode of “Ancient Civilizations” on the interplanetary history channel.  It was incredibly frustrating to say the least. Thankfully, in two hours’ time she would be departing on a shuttle for a quiet cabana on the Risian beaches to celebrate her “wedding”. After all, the wedding had to look real, and a honeymoon seemed like the best way to do that. “You should not continue watching your trial.” Spock said from directly behind her nearly scaring her out of her skin. “I’m not trying to,” she said leaning her head back against the rim of the couch to look up at him, “It’s just on basically every channel. I can’t wait to get the hell out of here.” “Indeed.” Spock said taking a seat next to her and passing her a cup of steaming ginger tea. “Thanks.” The vulcan took a sip of his own tea before turning to Jamie, “You are welcome. You have been quite nauseous lately.” “Really,” Jamie said scathingly, “what tipped you off? Was it the consistent acid reflux or the barfing?” “It was both.” “Haha. Funny.” “Vulcans are not humorous.” Spock raised an eyebrow. “Tell that to your son, ‘cause he thinks it’s real funny to fuck around with all my hormones all the time.” Jamie looked down at her distended stomach covered by a thin cotton t-shirt. “Stop it.” She waggled her finger, “Bad baby.” “He is not a canine.” “I know that.” Jamie rolled her eyes at Spock. “It was for effect.” “Quite.” Spock took another sip of his tea. “That stuff is really disgusting you know.” Jamie gestured to his mug with her own cup causing ginger tea to slosh down the sides and inter her lap. “Damn! Now I have to change my pants.” Spock’s lips twitched. “Something funny?” Jamie asked. “I find it ironic that have decided that an esteemed vulcan tea is unappetizing while a food you vehemently enjoy and swear by happens to be pickled gummy bears.” One of the vulcan’s black eyebrows quirked up. “Haha. You’re really funny, yanno that? Now how about Mr. Funny goes and gets me some new pants? We do have to leave soon.” “Very well.” Spock took the two cups of tea into the kitchen of his family home and then made his way towards the stairs. “Oh and make sure that you get me yoga pants! They’re the stretchy kind!” Jamie called after him. Three more steps up her voice sounded again, “I don’t really care which ones you get just not the grey ones!” Another step, “Or the blue ones!” Two more, “Probably not the pink either!” One more step, “Really just get me either the purple or the back ones!” Four steps later, “Actually get the black, purple won’t match my top!” “If you do not cease I will never reach the top of the stairs let alone your dresser before our shuttle departs.” Spock called back. “Ok whatever.” Jamie laughed. “Would you really have known what pants to get?” “Negative, however if you had simply told me to acquire your black yoga pants in the first place, I could already have been back downstairs with them.” “Alright, alright, hustle along then!” ********** Jamie opened her eyes slowly to the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. She was directly facing a floor to ceiling window and she had the most beautiful view of the sunrise over Risa’s ocean. The cabana that Sarek had acquired for Spock and her was a very private place with no one else in sight (something which must have cost a fortune on Risa), it was also situated directly on the beach with an excellent view of the water and a lovely porch. Spock of course, wouldn’t go swimming if his life depended on it, so he spent most of their days there reading various books on his pad in a lounge chair on the porch while Jamie splashed away in the waves some 30 meters away. The night of course was a different story, at six months pregnant, Jamie was still clear for all manner of sexual activities and she took full advantage of that. The only place they hadn’t yet had sex while on their honeymoon was the water, which Spock still refused to enter. All in all it was a pretty nice time. “Good morning.” Spock said from next to her in bed. “Mornin’” Jamie said sleepily. After a few minutes of companionable silence, Jamie spoke again. “I was thinking…what are we going to do?” “Please clarify.” Jamie rolled over to face him. “I mean like in the future. Where are we going to live? What are we going to call the baby? What are we going to do after you finish school?” She ran one of her hands through his silky hair. “I do not know.” Spock said solemnly. “However, it is highly likely that I will be admitted to the VSA.” “Look at you all arrogant.” “I was given to understand that you would prefer it if I entered the VSA as opposed to Starfleet.” “Hell yeah.” Jamie said forcefully. “Therefore I have been and will continue to prepare myself for the VSA entrance exams.”   “Ok.” Jamie rested her head back on her pillow and knitted her hand with his. “Can you feel him?” She asked placing their joined hands over her naked abdomen. “Yes.” “How is he?” “He is well. He is pleased that you are happy.” Jamie smiled. “I’m glad.” She fell into silence again. “I was thinking of names the other day.” Spock remained silent. “I don’t think I wanna go with a human name. All the humans I know aren’t the kind of people I’d wanna name a kid after and I’m not particularly proud of my race as a whole, we kinda suck sometimes.” “I do not think you suck.” Jamie laughed brightly at Spock’s comment. “Ok, but a lot of humans now and throughout history do suck.” “Many people in general suck.” “Fair point. But either way I think I want him to have a Vulcan name. Especially since Vulcan physical traits are dominant and he is probably going to look a lot more vulcan than he is human.” “Why does that have an effect on his name?” “Imagine a vulcan named Dave.” Jamie burst into raucous laughter at her own idea. After a few minutes of laughing she finally had herself under control again. “Oh my gods, Spock, what if your dad’s name was like Steve or Harvey or something!” She burst into laughter again. “I see your point.” Spock said looking as if he was desperately trying to stop himself from joining her. “Y-yeah.” Jamie gasped coming down from her second round of giggling, “But what I was gonna say is I was going through some lists of Vulcan names and I came across one that I kind of liked.” “What was it?” “Solen. But then I was thinking, ‘what if we changed it up a bit?’ and so I decided to switch the L with an R.” “Soren.” Spock said thoughtfully. “Very well.” He decided after a moment. Jamie looked flabbergasted, “Just like that?” She questioned. “Indeed.” “No debating?” “Negative.” “So you like it?” “I find the name pleasing, yes.” “It’s a human name too, yanno. It’s Danish. But I would pronounce it more like a vulcan name.” “That is appropriate.” “I’m glad you think so.” Jamie turned back over and snuggled herself into Spock’s chest as the slightly larger than littlespoon.  “Soren.” She whispered caressing her belly. Unbeknownst to her, behind her Spock was smiling into her hair.     Chapter End Notes Thank you! I love all of you! Please, please, please comment! End Notes Please, please, please comment. I would really like to hear what people think. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!