Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/881668. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling Relationship: Harry_Potter/Severus_Snape Character: Harry_Potter, Ginny_Weasley, Hermione_Granger, Minerva_McGonagall, Neville_Longbottom, Ron_Weasley, Severus_Snape Additional Tags: Adult_Language, Sexual_Situations, BDSM, Voyeurism, Under_18, Contains Slash_Sex Series: Part 1 of Another_Kind_Of_Magic Collections: HPFandom Stats: Published: 2013-07-15 Completed: 2013-09-22 Chapters: 12/12 Words: 39384 ****** Another Kind Of Magic ****** by the_goofball Summary Follow Harry's basic education of yet another art Severus Snape is quite proficient in. If you've ever wondered what else there is to BDSM except people "beating each other up", this might be a story for you. The story is complete. Originally posted on HP-fandom: 01.02.2008. Notes Warnings: the highest there is because there will be explicit adult language, sexual action and BDSM. So be warned. Don't like, don't read! Harry is seventeen and of age. The story is not yet betaed and as usual please take it easy with the language barrier, thank you. AN: For the story you are about to read it is necessary for me to point out a few things that are not according to canon. 1) Severus Snape very obviously survived and pleasures us with his usual (hopefully) sarcastic self 2) The timeline is actually according to the books, I just squeezed another year in there so that Harry could complete his *cough cough* education (no, Professor McGonagall I don't need coughing drops) 3) I very obviously ignored that little fling Harry and Ginny had going on and yes, that means the epilogue in Deathly Hallows does not exist for me 4) Harry's private lessons with Severus Snape have continued although DADA was included 5) I ignored Severus Snape teaching DADA in The Half-Blood Prince 6) I'm not sure if I've forgotten something but if so: I'm sorry This is not supposed to be a master piece of fanfic even though I did my best to make it as enjoyable as possible. My purpose was to portray a different side of the BDSM lifestyle as the one that is commonly known. Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. ***** Chapter 1 *****   Another Kind Of Magic   Prologue   After the war and defeating Voldemort, Harry had believed that he finally would be able to live a normal life, to be the normal person he had always thought he was. You see, because until his eleventh birthday that was exactly what he had thought he was: just Harry, a normal boy. But he had been proved wrong and learned that in fact he was a wizard. Well the next best thing to being a normal boy was being a normal wizard, but that thought hadn't last for long. Only hours after knowing that he was a wizard, he found out that he was famous in the world he had no knowledge of. He was The Boy Who Lived, later then The Chosen One. That was all good and well; so he was the legendary wizard that was supposed to kill You Know Who, but at least he was a normal healthy teenager who woke up with stained sheets caused by dreams he couldn't remember. Then he discovered that kissing Cho didn't quite have the effect on him as his dreams had, but walking in on two boys groping each other heatedly obviously did something to his blood pressure – at least according to his tented trousers. Being not just Harry, but The Golden Boy Who Is Gay was only another adjustment to which Harry got accustomed to; he was good in adapting after all. The fact that not everything was as it seemed at first sight (for example his father, Snape, Dumbledore's death) was quite a shock, but not one as big as the one realising that he had to walk up and embrace death to vanquish Voldemort. But even death wasn't what it seemed to be – not for him anyway and he came back and truly defeated the epitome of evil. After the first couple of months in which the wizarding world was celebrating freedom, Harry had thought that now was the time to be what he always wanted to be: just Harry, a health gay wizard. Far from it because Harry was The Boy Who Killed You Know Who That Still Had A Piece Missing. Harry knew that this missing piece was related to his nightly dreams (the ones staining the sheets), which had not only become more explicit but he also remembered parts of them – much to his embarrassment. Obviously Harry wouldn't be Harry if he wouldn't at one point decide to go to the bottom of things – at least if they don't disappear by themselves. It was also very obvious that Harry wasn't into research as much as others and after two rather unsuccessful hours of trying to find information in the Internet during the summer break, he opted to ask someone – even if that meant that he had to face a certain dark haired wizard.     * Harry rubbed his sweaty hands on his robes. This was worse then facing ten Death Eaters at once. He swallowed nervously and glanced from the table in front of him at the dark haired teacher in front of the class who of course paid no attention to him. Harry had no idea if the rumours were really true but he couldn't think of anyone else to ask about something like that. "Class dismissed." The well-known snarl resonated in the room. Everyone who hadn't already finished packing their bags was quickly stuffing the last things into them. Hermione and Neville were standing beside Harry to wait for him. But he shook his head and whispered that he would meet them for dinner in the Great Hall. The two gave him questioning looks but hurried away without asking him further. At long last the classroom was empty except him and Snape. Harry tried to calm himself but his heart kept racing and his breathing wasn't as calm as he would have liked. Slowly he stood up and went to the desk where Snape was standing. After clearing his throat twice Harry finally managed to speak: "Professor, sir, could I talk with you?" "You already are, Potter. You better make it worth my while. I don't know why I should waste a good dinner." Snape said, draping his robes around him while he crossed the arms over his chest. Harry looked away and clenched his fists. It was even harder then he had imagined. His eyes moved between Snape's chin (he didn't dare look him in the eyes) and the desk in front of him. "I… Sir…" Harry stuttered. "I'm waiting, Potter." With a deep breath Harry said that he didn't know whom else he could ask about this. "I'm quite sure you know by now that I am not interested in guessing, Potter. So you either define 'this' or you might want to come back when you are able to articulate yourself clearly," Snape said, his voice sounding bored. Harry closed his eyes for a moment, keeping himself from just turning around and leaving. Slowly he opened his eyes again and starred at Snape's chin. "Sir, I don't even know if it is true, but I do have to ask someone before it drives me insane." Harry took another deep breath. "Do you know anything about BDSM?" There, now he had said it. With a relieved sigh he looked up but his relieve turned into anxiety as he saw Snape's face. The neutral and maybe bored features were gone. Instead Harry saw the wrath coming through. "Why am I not surprised, Potter? I knew that could only be some kind of Gryffindor prank. Fifty points from Gryffindor. And now get out of here at once!" Harry shook his head vigorously. "No, sir, please!" He stepped forward but Snape raised a hand from underneath his robe and his wand was pointed straight into Harry's face. "Get. Out. Now!" A part in Harry's mind was surprised that things around them weren't freezing with the coldness that emitted from Snape. The other part tried to think of a way to make Snape believe that he was serious and not playing tricks on him. He didn't know any. He grabbed for the last straw and slowly got down on his knees. "Please, sir. This is not about Gryffindor. It's about me." He shook his head lost for more words. "About you sinking so low only for another possibility to brag about your knowledge of me? You have ten more seconds to get out of my classroom, Potter." Harry hung his head. He had no idea how to convince his teacher. "Suit yourself, Potter. If you are so eager to play your role…" Harry saw a twirl of black robes in front of him and then the dark wizard walking to the door to his office. With a loud bang the door fell shut behind Snape. Harry closed his eyes.     * Severus stormed through his office into his private chambers slamming another door shut behind him. He was furious. With long strides he paced through his sitting room. Back and forth he went, at one point flicking his wand angrily at the teapot, which rattled frightened with boiling water just a second later. After five more minutes he had calmed down enough to take a cup of tea and sit down. He shook his head. He was disappointed with Harry. And that made him angry with himself. Angry because he had believed that over the last year, Harry and he had come to respect each other. He had thought the hate and resentment had been left behind. And maybe after some more time they might have had the possibility to – to what? Like each other? Severus snorted. He had been far off on that one. Harry really was what Severus had thought all those years: an impertinent brat! Harry had caught Severus off guard even though he hadn't shown it to the boy – young man, he corrected himself. He had seen and done too many things to still be counted as a boy, a somewhat innocent teen. Severus had seen in their Occlumency lesions that Harry had not had the live that he had thought. He had not been brought up spoiled rotten by the Dursley's. Severus sighed. He was disappointed because he had actually grown to like Harry, even if he had not shown it to him. Somehow Harry had managed to penetrate Severus' armour. Behind his usual indifferent mask, Severus had been pleased to see that Harry wasn't that bad in potions – of course he could still be better but since the war was over, Harry had delivered quite some good essays, which weren't simply copied from Granger either. And he had stopped making impudent remarks. Severus took another sip of tea. Obviously he had been a fool to believe that those things meant a different acquaintance overall. It rather looked like it has been a long planed trap to make Severus feel secure enough to trust the Gryffindor. Well, that Potter brat had been wrong about that. He had looked right through him after all. Enough brooding over that! Severus looked at the clock on his mantelpiece. It was time for dinner and even though he wasn't really hungry he would go up there. The Headmistress liked to have all her staff there and it was a good way to keep an eye on Potter.     * Harry had no idea how much time had passed. He was still kneeling at the very same spot Snape had left him. The ache in his knees and legs weren't bothering him as much as the emotional turmoil inside of him. He needed someone to talk too, but he needed someone that he could trust. And he didn't know anyone else. How could he make Snape believe that he wasn't up to some mischief? "You must be really determined to play your little tricks on me, Potter." Harry jumped lightly as he heard Snape's voice. He looked up and shook his head no. Oh well, he was determined, but not because of the reasons Snape thought. He was despaired. Tears stung in his eyes and he blinked to keep them at bay, but to no success. Quickly he lowered his head again. Since the war he had an enormous respect for Snape. Since then he had finally understood that the spy had been playing a murderous game to protect him even though he hated him. "Sir, I…" Harry's voice broke and he had to clear his throat before he was able to continue. "I… I have a – no. I'm wondering about myself, sir. I have done a little bit of reading, I couldn't find that much and – I just couldn't think of anyone who I trust enough to ask about this." It hadn't even crossed Harry's mind to talk to Ron about it who had enough trouble with him being gay. "You talk about trust like you would know what it is. And even if you trust me, Potter, tell me one single reason why I should trust you after you broke into my privacy before? Why should I willingly offer you another chance to run to your friends and brag about things you find out?" Harry looked up in shock and disbelieve. "I never told anyone! Haven't you seen that? I… I was too ashamed of what I did to tell you… and what they did." Harry stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. If this was the time to confess he could just as well say everything. And he better made it good, it might be the only chance he would get. "I always thought you hated the Marauder's just because you wanted to, because they were different. And I always thought there couldn't be a reason for so much hatred. Well, I was proved wrong." "And now The Noble Boy Who Lived And Killed Voldemort-" Harry shook his head and interrupted his teacher. "No, the only reason I would have like to tell anyone – which I didn't! – would have been to tell them that you were mistreated." "My heart breaks, Potter." Harry ignored that remark and continued: "As I said I felt to ashamed to apologize. But I thought I had shown it to you in our Occlumency lessons. I never hid my feelings about it. And even though you never said anything, I was sure you had seen how sorry I was for snooping around." Harry took a deep breath. "On the other hand I'm not sorry at all because it showed me that I was wrong and that you weren't the greasy git I believed you to be." "That must have been a shock to you." Snape said his voice dripping with sarcasm. Harry nodded seriously. "It was, sir. I had to realise that my dad wasn't that great guy I had thought he was and that you might not be the foul tempered and unfair prick that I saw, or at least you weren't without a reason. And after I realised that I started to look closer." Snape crossed his arms in front of him. "Now you have me curious, Potter. Pray tell, what do you think you saw?" Harry thought for a moment. "Well, I guess the first thing I noticed was your devotion for potions and your impatience for people who are not interested in it. That is a feeling I know, like I have it with Hermione and Quidditch, or with Neville at the beginning of the DA (Dumbledore's Army) meetings. He couldn't even muster the easiest spells when we first started." Snape snorted but didn't say a word. "But I do know that one has to have a lot of patience with potions since most of them require not only the proper handling while preparing but also a lot of time. So I thought that in fact you had to be a patient man." ~ Severus was glad about his practise in keeping an indifferent face. Otherwise he might have gaped at Harry. Damn that boy! He would not let himself get reeled in so easily. But he was surprised nevertheless and curious as well. The only sign he gave was the raise of an eyebrow. "I also realised what an amount of discipline and self-control you must have to have survived all that. And... you were able to comprehend everything that my father did and that I did – well you taught me everything I needed to succeed Voldemort despite the things that were done to you. You saw the bigger picture. I stopped hating you. Instead I came to trust and respect you." Severus could hardly believe his ears. He looked at Harry who was still kneeling on the floor. He was either a real good actor or he had at last grown up for real as Severus had hoped. Either way, Severus was about to find out. "Do you think that complimenting me will make me believe your story? Do you really think I am that stupid?" Severus watched closely as Harry shook his head. "I've never thought of you being stupid, sir. But if you still don't believe me, why don't you look for yourself? You could use Legilimency. I won't stop you. You've always known if I try to hide something. You would notice." That was true indeed. Severus had always been able to see when Harry was trying to hide something from him. And if he voluntarily offered this… "Are you sure about this, Potter? Because if I find proof that you are trying to fool me…" He left the sentence unfinished but the threat was there all the same. Instead of an answer Harry just looked right into Severus' eyes. "Very well then." Severus returned the look and cast the spell: "Legilimens." He dived into Harry's mind. Pictures started to form in front of him and he could feel that they were not willingly pushed there for him to see. He couldn't feel the wall that Harry used to create to shield memories or emotions that he wouldn't want Severus to noticed. Severus saw and felt that Harry had not been lying to him. The only thing he felt was the shame of having looked into the Pensieve but also the gladness about knowing what happened. And he felt that Harry's knees were hurting from kneeling so long. Severus was just about to leave when he noticed some sort of excitement. Another picture came to the front and it involved him having Harry over his knees. Slowly he withdrew himself from the fantasy and Harry's mind. Harry had blushed deeply but still hold Severus' gaze. "I'm sorry about the last one, sir. I thought about hiding it but I knew you would have been suspicious." Severus nodded. "You are right, I would have been." He believed Harry and came to a decision. "Get up and go to dinner." Severus watched Harry stagger as he got up and reached out to help him get his balance. This made the young man blush even deeper. The whispered thank-you was hardly audible. "Go," Severus repeated. "Yes, sir." Harry turned around and stiffly walked towards the door. "I believe you, Potter. Come to my office Monday night after dinner." Severus called after Harry. Harry didn't turn back around but Severus saw the outstretched hand tremble in mid-air. "Yes, sir." tbc ***** Chapter 2 ***** Chapter Notes For all the kudos and nice comments... here is another chapter to bring you through the week :o) I'm glad you're enjoying the story even though it's already five years old. Harry didn't remember how he had managed to get to the Great Hall and just sat there like everything was normal. Which it wasn't. Everything was different now. He now had someone to talk to and – to his embarrassment – Snape had seen his fantasy. Even though he felt awkward about Snape knowing this, he had also been aroused by it. He had felt the pulling deep down in his groin and even now his stomach squeezed together excitedly. Harry had been hard, as Snape had told him to get up. Ron interrupted Harry's thought by asking what he had being doing in the dungeons. "Hermione told me that you stayed with the git after class." "I had to ask Snape something about my homework. You know I have to pass potions if I want to become an Auror." Harry had been smart enough to think about an excuse beforehand. Truth to be told, he knew it would look strange if he would stay behind after Snape's class without being told to. The dark haired teacher might have stopped taking points from Gryffindor for the simple fact that Harry existed but he had been far from being friendly towards Harry. Neutral if anything. Harry on the other hand had stopped making hateful remarks about Snape. He had not openly defended him though. He had only silently argued with the others when they spoke ill of him. They would ask too many questions that Harry couldn't answer. And he didn't dare to tell them that he respected their teacher and even liked him somehow. Ron would have a fit. "Couldn't you have asked someone else?" Ron wanted to know with his mouth full of dessert. Harry sighed. "Snape is the best resource when it comes to potions. Why should I ask someone else?" "Because he's a slimy git, that's why!" Ron shot a glance at the staff table. "Look at him! He's all greasy and disgusting." "Ron, even my hair gets greasy after potions. And I'm only down there for two hours. He is in this room all day long. I'm not surprised that his hair gets greasy." Hermione said. Harry was surprised about this unexpected help from her. Ron beside him gaped at his girlfriend. "Are you taking Snape's side?" Hermione rolled her eyes at him. "I'm not taking sides. I'm simply stating the fact that it is a problem of having to deal with potions vapours all day long. That meaning having greasy hair. You don't look all fresh after Quidditch." "Are you two going completely bonkers? What is it with you?" Ron looked with wide eyes between Harry and Hermione. Hermione took a deep breath. "No, Ron, I'm not going nuts. I just don't like injustice, as you should know very well. Maybe you should finally start to grow up and think about a few things. Like for example that Snape helped a great deal to get rid of Voldemort. And that he saved Harry's live more then just once." Hermione put her spoon down and shoved her plate away. Harry was just as perplex as Ron when Hermione got up and left. But unlike Ron he was astonished in a pleasant way. "Bloody hell! What's that all about, Harry?" Ron wanted to know still looking after his girlfriend. "She must be jinxed or something." "I don't think so. I'd rather say that she's aware that Snape hasn't had the easiest part in the war. And maybe she's realised that he risked his life every time he went to a Death Eater meeting. Maybe she thinks that he has earned to be respected for what he did." Harry ignored the dumbfounded expression in Ron's face and got up as well. "See you in the common room." Harry turned around and glanced at the staff table. For some reason he wasn't surprised to see Snape looking at him. The nevertheless unexpected attention made his insides squeeze. He wished that the wizard had heard that conversation. With a small smile at Snape Harry left the hall. * Severus watched Harry leave. Had he just imagined it or had the young man really smiled at him? He knew that he had been the subject of the discussion from the three Gryffindors. The look that the Weasley boy had given him and the smile from Harry had told him as much. He took his eyes from the closed entrance and his gaze swept once more over the Gryffindor table. He found Weasley staring at him with a flabbergasted expression. Mockingly raising an eyebrow, Snape returned the look. To his surprise the boy blushed (not as nice as Harry though!) and turned away hanging his head over the rest of his dessert. Severus leaned back in his chair. Now he really was curious what this conversation had been about. Maybe he would ask Harry about it on Monday. The thought of Monday made him realise that wanted to be in his chambers. He had to think about a few things and for that he wanted to be alone. He excused himself and headed downstairs to the dungeons. In his quarters he prepared some tea and then took his favourite armchair in front of the blazing fire. Relaxing into his chair his thoughts moved back to the episode before dinner. He had been really surprised to find Harry still kneeling at the spot where he had left him. This action alone or better the lack of action had told Severus already that the young man might be serious about his question. Of course Severus still had to question him further since he didn't trust easily. Nobody, but it was trice as hard when it came to Harry. Yes, most of Severus' suspiciousness came from his experience with Harry's father, but some of it resulted in the way Harry himself had acted towards him. Severus sighed deeply. He had hated Harry because of his father, Harry had hated him because of the way Severus had treated him. One thing had lead to the other and Harry prying into his private thoughts had just been the last drop. If Dumbledore hadn't right out ordered Severus to continue the lessons with Harry or else leave Hogwarts, Severus would have never done it. Thinking back, Severus did remember that Harry had acted different towards him, as they had started the lessons again. He had stopped fighting him – causing them both pain – and he also had stopped arguing when Severus mentioned his father or Sirius. That had been the reason why Severus had thought that they had come to some kind of unspoken agreement about not making life harder for each other as it already was. Of course, Severus was still the man that he is, which meant that his remarks were certainly not for the delicate hearted kind of people – to phrase it politely. Harry's question about his interest in BDSM had rung an alarm bell. It still wasn't the easiest thing to be open about it to just anyone. Far too often one would be seen as a perverted Freak. And the six years experience with Harry before the war had caused Severus to be sure to be fooled. Severus wondered about how much Harry knew about BDSM. He must have some sort of information to even use this phrase instead of the more commonly used SM. He remembered the glimpse of Harry's fantasy he had seen. He had not only seen the clear picture of the scene but had also felt the excitement connected to it. Which was to be understood. Severus would be lying if he would say that it wasn't an exciting setting, it certainly was. A good old-fashioned spanking could be very sensual. With the wrong person it could also end disastrous, no doubt about it, but with the right person it was something very special and intimate. It wasn't easy to find someone trustworthy with whom you could play safely though. Considering the trust thing it was even more amazing that Harry had chosen him, Severus, to confide in. Severus hadn't been aware of Harry trusting him that much. But maybe Harry wasn't even aware of the amount of trust that was necessary when it came to BDSM. On the other hand, maybe he was and Severus was being unjust. He took another sip of tea and smiled about himself. He had gotten carried away with his thoughts, which was probably due to the fact that he hadn't thought about BDSM at all for many years. Pressing matters had kept him from delving in the past and of course he had had neither time nor the state of mind for a partner while being a spy. And just because Harry wanted to talk with him, didn't mean that he actually wanted to play with him as well. But there was this fantasy, Severus mused and he had certainly been a part in there. So maybe Harry did want to play with him? Another part of Severus argued that it had only been a fantasy, something to think about while you masturbate. Nothing serious about it. Harry simply didn't know anybody else and that's why he had used him, Severus, as a play partner. Then he thought that you could imagine an anonymous partner. "Great! Now I'm arguing with myself!" He got up from his chair. "Now I'm even talking to myself!" He headed towards the office. He better got some work done. There was no point in making wild presumptions, because there wouldn't be anything physical anyway. At least not for the next three months while Harry was still a student at Hogwarts. After that they would have to see what could happen. Severus would cross this bridge when he came to it. He sat at his desk and reached for the first parchment and began correcting it, his mind now occupied with the task at hand. He didn't even notice that he had been very busy with thinking about what Harry might want. But not once had he questioned himself if he wanted to play with the young man. * After a seemingly endless weekend Harry was with his classmates in the dungeons for their potions class. They were working on their last new potion before they would start on repeating the old stuff before the exams. It was fairly quiet in the room. Everybody was concentrated on his or her task. Snape sat at his desk and grated their homework. Harry carefully counted the stirs, and then ended with a counter-clockwise one. "Mr Potter, aren't you always good for a surprise? Here I am, thinking since almost seven years that you are hopeless when it comes to potions. However, you might be here in the class for a reason after all." Snape put the last roll of parchment back on the stack beside him with a mocking smirk at Harry. With a wave of his wand he had copied all the parchments and send the original ones back to the students. "Fill your finished potions into the flasks and put them on my desk. After that you are dismissed." Harry had his head lowered and tried not to grin stupidly about the unexpected praise. He looked sideways at the roll of parchment but of course he couldn't see anything. He pulled himself together and concentrated on finishing his work. Finally the flask was sealed and he put it aside. Almost careless he waved his wand at his cauldron and spelled it clean. Then he reached for his homework. There was an 'O' on it. Over the parchment he shot a glance at Snape. Then he looked at the grade again. Snape had really given him an outstanding! But there was also a little note at the end, just beside the question he had used as a finish line. "Remarkable question, Mr Potter. The result of this experiment interests me as well. Let me know if you wish to try." With a smile Harry stuffed his books in his bag and hurried to the door where Hermione and Neville were waiting for him. "Mr Potter?" Harry turned around. "Yes, Professor?" "I assume you don't want to spoil a good grade for a potion by not delivering it, do you?" Snape looked pointedly at Harry's desk where the flask was still standing. Harry could feel the heat rise in his face. "Not really, sir." Quickly he went back, got the flask and put it on Snape's desk. "Thank you for reminding me, sir." Snape gave a brief nod. "I'm serious about the question in your essay. It's an interesting thought. You'll just have to let me know if you want to try it." "Thank you, Professor. I'll do that." He was just about to turn around and leave but he hesitated for a moment. "I'll see you tonight after dinner then?" He asked, feeling very shy. But he kept himself from rubbing his damp hands on his robe. "I offered it, didn't I? 8pm and don't be late." Harry nodded happily and trotted of. Hermione grinned at him as he reached her and Neville. "That's a first: Professor Snape complimenting Harry Potter! Who would have thought that?" Harry grinned back. "So you've caught it as well?" His friend nodded with a laugh. "Yes, even though he did his best to make it sound like everything else but a praise." "He gave me an outstanding", Harry said. Hermione stopped causing Neville to nearly walk into her. "He didn't, did he?" Harry nodded and told the two of them about the offer the teacher had made. Happily chatting they went to the Great Hall for lunch. Harry was in such a good mood all day long that he didn't realise how fast time was passing. Before he knew it he was sitting at the table again for dinner. Snape was just leaving the hall not even casting as much as a glance at him. Harry had still ten minutes left before he had to leave as well if he wanted to be on time – which he intended to. He didn't dare to be lax in this case. He finished his dessert and then got up. "I'll see you later guys. I have to check some books in the library that I've forgotten earlier." Without waiting for a response he left. He had the Marauder's map with him. He wasn't afraid anymore of walking into Draco but there were others that he did not want to come across. He avoided Filch and Mrs Norris and was even a couple of minutes early. The door was open but Harry knocked nevertheless. "Come in and close the door," Snape called from his office. Harry did as told and crossed the classroom and went into the office. Snape was sitting at his desk. "You are early, Potter," the teacher drawled. "I might get the impression that you are eager. Is that the case?" Harry couldn't help it. He blushed and lowered his eyes. "That's possible, sir." "Very well then. I would like to take this conversation into a more comfortable place. Unless you wish you stay here?" Snape enquiringly looked at Harry who only shook his head. Snape got up and turned towards a door in the back of the offices that Harry had never noticed before. The dark haired wizard flicked his wand and the door to the classroom closed. Harry could feel Snape's magic as he activated the wards to secure their privacy. He followed his teacher into his private rooms and was surprised as he stepped into a rather bright room. The fireplace drew Harry's attention to it. For a moment he looked into the flames then around the room. Two comfortable armchairs stood in front of the fire and there was a couch also. The main colours in the room were different shades of brown and ochre giving the room a warm and comfortable atmosphere. "You look surprised." "To be honest I had expected a lot more black, sir." Snape had seated himself into one of the chairs and pointed for Harry to take the other one. "Take a seat if you don't insist on standing while talking." Harry moved to the chair and sat on the edge of it. "So you imagined the greasy old git to sit in a greasy black room? Is that it?" Harry blushed again and started to shake his head but then thought better of it. "Maybe I did some time ago but not anymore." He admitted. Snape's gaze didn't waver as he heard the reply. "At least you're honest with me, Potter. I give you credit for that." Harry returned Snape's intense look. "I stopped lying to you quite a while ago, sir." The teacher didn't reply to that and just looked at Harry for a while. Harry nervously moved on his chair a little. "Out of curiosity, you and Miss Granger had an argument with Mr Weasley the other day. I somehow got the impression that I was the subject of this discussing. Am I mistaken about that?" Harry lowered his head as he felt the blood rushing into his head. How did he know about that? He played with the seam of his robe as he shook his head. "No, sir, you aren't." "Would you like to fill me in about the details?" Harry looked up. "Is this a question or an order?" Snape raised an eyebrow as he looked at Harry. "What did it sound like, Potter?" "Well, it did sound like a polite question, sir, but it felt like an order. So I thought I better ask in case it was a question. I might have thought about refusing it. I mean we are talking about a private conversation after all." Much to Harry's surprise the wizard across from him started to chuckle. Harry blinked and stared at his transformed teacher. The deep fold between Snape's eyebrows was almost gone and instead he had tiny wrinkles around the eyes. The eyes themselves shone and sparkled amused. "Very well, Potter. You are right it was a private conversation. But I am curious, however, why I was the topic of your discussion especially since it was right after the conversation the two of us had." Harry, still amazed about the change in Snape's look, almost jumped up. He shook his head with vengeance. "No, sir! It had nothing to do with our conversation, I swear!" He hurried to add: "Well only to the point that Ron asked me why I had been talking with you without – uhm... being forced to." Snape just tilted his head as if waiting for Harry to continue. "I told him that I had a question about my homework and he wanted to know why I couldn't have asked someone else. I said that you were the best so why go for a less good answer to my question." Before Harry could make out what Snape's face had look like after his word the expression was back to his usual indifference. "And I don't say that to compliment you. Anyway, Ron wouldn't budge and kept going on about you being..." "Yes?" Harry took a deep breath. "Listen, I am not happy that my best mate is still behaving like a ten year old when it comes to you. Well, Hermione thinks in the same line and as Ron started about your greasy hair she told him off." Harry told Snape the rest of the argument. After that there was silence for a moment. "Thank you, Potter." Snape finally said. "It was nothing really, sir. Ron has to wake up and get over it." The wizard gave a short nod but didn't say anything else. Harry was glad that he didn't get into saying anything bad about Ron. "Let's move to another topic. I do believe you came to talk about something else, right?" Another blush covered Harry's face. "Yes, sir." Snape tilted his head and looked at Harry for a moment. "I can't help noticing that you keep referring to me as 'sir', Potter. Why is that? It seems to be quite an alteration to your former behaviour." Lowering his eyes Harry answered that he wanted to show him respect. "That's a promising start, Potter," Snape replied sedately. Then after another moment the teacher went on: "Have you any information about BDSM or SM as it is more commonly phrased?" Harry looked up again and shook his head. "Not much, sir. I haven't had the chance to use Dudley's Internet for research and other then that I didn't know where to look." "Internet?" Snape asked with his head tilted slightly. "Oh, sorry, sir. It's a Muggle devise. You use a computer to get information from all over the world." "I think I've heard about that. Wise world web or something like that. Is that it?" Harry tried not to grin. "World wide web, sir. Sometimes I sneaked into my cousin's room to use the computer when they were gone. But Dudley didn't go with his parents that often last summer." ~ Severus was rather surprised about the evening so far. It was almost pleasant to talk with the young wizard about common stuff. "Why did you ask me, Potter?" Severus knew he didn't have to explain what he was talking about. He intensely looked at the young man in front of him. "Because I trust you, sir." "Did it ever cross your mind that the rumours could be wrong?" There was a small grin as Harry answered. "To be honest, that's exactly the reason why I haven't asked you before. I didn't know if it was true." Severus raised an eyebrow. Harry spoke in past tens. "Was? Pray tell, what makes you believe that they are true?" Severus narrowed his eyes. Did Harry try not to laugh? Yes, the corner of his mouth was definitely twitching. "With all due respect, sir. If the rumours hadn't been true, I wouldn't live to tell the tale. You would have hexed me to the moon." Severus couldn't help it and started to laugh. Harry chimed in and both looked at each other in amusement. Severus shook his head lightly. Funny how a comment like that made him laugh now where it had angered him before. Harry still grinned brightly and Severus liked what he saw. The green eyes, which were twinkling and that slightly crocked front teeth in the otherwise even row. Severus nodded. "Point taken, Potter." "Thank you, sir." "All right, there isn't that much time left tonight before you have to go. What is it that you actually crave?" Severus noticed that Harry started to twiddle with his robe again. "I'm not quite sure, sir. I haven't thought as much about what I want as about how to approach you." Severus smirked lightly. "Been nervous I bet." Harry glanced at him from underneath his fringe. "That's an understatement, sir," the young man said with a soft smile. Severus chuckled. "What I want is information, information and someone to talk to who's actually been there. Someone to teach me," Harry finally answered. Severus nodded slowly. "You've mentioned trust and honesty several times today. Let me tell you that those two things are very important when it comes to BDSM. Trust, honesty and communication. I want you to be honest now, Potter. Do you seek a theoretical teacher or someone who teaches you in a physical way?" Harry's cheeks flushed again and he looked away for a second before he once more returned Severus' gaze. His answer was hardly audible: "You know, you've seen my fantasy." Severus leaned forward, still holding Harry's eyes. "I have seen it and I might know. But I asked you and I am waiting for an answer. Communication, remember?" "Yes, sir." Severus saw the struggle in Harry's face and the tension was almost tangible but he didn't interfere. Harry had to go through this and voice things to him. "I want both, sir." Harry whispered. "And... I would really appreciate it if you would teach me, sir." Severus smiled softly at Harry. "That's been hard, hm?" ~ Harry tilted his head and looked at Snape in astonishment. He had never heard the professor speak in such a gentle tone before. He had sounded understanding, like he knew that it had been hard to admit, to say it out loud. Harry nodded. "Yes, sir." "You've done well, Harry." Snape smiled at Harry and once again the young wizard was surprised about the change in his teachers features when he smiled. And he had even used his given name. "Thank you, sir." "One last thing before you leave. You are still a student at Hogwarts. And as long as this is the case there will be no physical contact between the two of us whatsoever. Is that understood?" Harry nodded as he did a quick calculating in his head. Two and a half month, he could deal with that. "Until then you can come every Monday after dinner. I will teach you and you can ask me questions. It is also a time were we can get to know each other. After your exams we both can then decide if we want to take this any further, meaning if we want to play with each other. If your time allows it and if it doesn't interfere with your studies you may also come every second weekend for a couple of hours. Did I make myself clear?" "Perfectly, sir." Harry nodded eagerly. "If it comes to my ears that you can't keep up with your work for the exams, the lessons will be cancelled. I do not want to be the reason you are failing your exams." "Well, it would mean that I could stay another year." As Harry saw the glare in Snape's eyes he duck his head. "This is not an option. You might want to take in account that it could also mean that you could be spoiling the opportunity to play with me for another year, maybe at all. And no, I haven't made up my mind yet. That remains to be seen. But I do agree to be your mentor." "Thank you, sir. I will not disappoint you." "Good and now off with you. It's close to curfew." tbc ***** Chapter 3 ***** The next morning during breakfast Neville approached Harry and Hermione. "I was wondering if it would be a good idea to study some subjects together and I wanted to know if you would be interested in getting into Potions with me?" The only reason Neville had picked potions was his dream of becoming a healer. He guessed that Herbology on it's own wouldn't make him happy in the long run. The war had had quite an effect on Neville since he was much more confident now. Harry thought about it for a minute and then looked at Hermione. "That might actually be a good idea. What do you think?" The young witch nodded. "We can give it a try. Working together has worked well with the DA practice." "Great!" Neville grinned and pulled a book out of his bag to show it to Harry and Hermione. "I've already gotten one of those. You know there are only four of them." Harry looked at the cover. It was a book with a collection of questions that had been asked in exams before. "Smart move, Neville. So when do you guys have time?" They agreed on Wednesdays after dinner. Ron had watched them all without saying a word. But later that day he asked Harry and Hermione if they would be interested in learning together for Transfiguration. Both of them agreed and they even thought about getting together with others for DADA (Defence Against Dark Arts) practice. They would just need to find a teacher that would have an eye on them in case something happened. Harry, Hermione and Neville sat together in the common. They were going over the questions one after the other, reading them out loud and then scribbling the answer down if they knew it or they looked in the piles of books that were scattered around them. "Wow, I didn't know that. Did you guys realise that there are two potions that have the exact same ingredients?" Harry looked from Neville to Hermione but even she didn't seem to know it. She reached for the book. "I'm not going to compare reams of potions. We'll just look it up." She read out loud to them that the only difference between the two potions in question was the way they were stirred. "With counter clock stirring you will get 'Dreamless Draught' and with clockwise stirring (adding a counter clock stir after every forth stir) you will get a healing potion," she ended, looking up from the book. "Now I really start to believe that Potions is an art," Neville stated. Harry nodded and then took his quill to write the answer down. ~ Severus looked over his class. "The last question for today is rather advanced but it does come up every other year in the exams. It shows how complex the making of potions is. There are two fairly different potions-" Snape stopped as Granger's hand shot up. He was just about to say something as Harry lifted his hand as well. This was a surprise since Harry usually only talked in his class when asked. But even stranger was the fact that Longbottom's hand slowly went up after he had looked at Harry with a grin. "You do realise that I haven't even finished the question yet?" Severus mockingly asked. The Gryffindors nodded and kept their arms up. "Very well then. Take a piece of parchment and write the answer down." Severus watched them and summoned the parchments after they were finished. "Now let's see if any of the others know the answer. There is a curiosity about two different potions, which have the same ingredients." Severus saw Harry, Granger and Longbottom grin at each other and knew that they had the answer right. "Which potion am I talking about and in which way do they differ?" Severus looked over his class but almost everyone was just staring at their desk. Apparently nobody besides the Gryffindors knew the answer, not even a Slytherin. "Merlin's beard!" His gaze swept once more over his students. With a sigh he sat down at his desk. "Mr Longbottom if you would please let your classmates know what the answer is." Longbottom only stuttered once at the beginning but answered the question correctly. Severus nodded. "Class dismissed. Potter, Granger and Longbottom, you stay here for a minute. And the rest," Severus said with a glare over the hurriedly packing students. "Will hopefully be better prepared the next time." Severus checked the three rolls of parchment and wasn't surprised to find the right answers written there. He looked at the three Gryffindors. "That was rather impressive even though I really hate to admit it. However, I do think it's quite curious that all three of you knew what I was talking about. Is there a reason for it?" Harry and Longbottom only nodded but at least the Granger girl cared to answer and told him that they were studying together. Severus looked them over. "It seems to work quite nicely." "It was Neville's idea, sir," Harry provided. Severus' gaze shifted to said boy who blushed furiously but didn't turn his eyes away from his teacher. Severus was still not sure how he had managed to get into his class but his grades had been good enough even though barely. Severus released Longbottom from his piercing look. "Ten points to Gryffindor, for each of you. But-" Severus gave each of them a glare. "If it comes to my ears that you have been bragging about it I will take double points from all of you. Now get out of my eyesight. I want to be depressed about Gryffindors being better then my Slytherins." Severus gestured them away impatiently and watched how they hurried out trying to hide their grins. * In between studying for the exams, Quidditch practice and the normal lessons, Harry hadn't much time left to do anything else. Only after hours when he was alone in his bed, he had the peace and time to think about what he was going to find out about BDSM from Snape. Tomorrow would be the next lesson and Harry looked forward to it. He had not only grown to respect him but also to like him. Especially since their first lesson were had seen a very different man. Not only had he not been looking like he had eaten something sour, no he had even smiled and laughed. Harry had found that very appealing. Snape was actually wickedly attractive. Harry imagined Snape standing in front of him with that smirk in his face (the one that made his toes curl with the promises Harry's fantasy put into it). Snape reached out and caught his naked nipples between his fingers. Harry groaned softly and quickly sat up to cast a silencing charm around his bed. Then he fell back into the pillows and closed his eyes again, getting back to his fantasy as he spread his legs as far as he could. Lifting his hands he started to rub his nipples with his palms causing his cock to twitch and another moan slipped out between Harry's lips. He took his erect nubs between thumbs and index finger and rolled them before he pinched them, making them even harder. His nipples were so sensitive that he had a full grown hard on in no time. Blood was pounding in his prick and Harry resisted the urge to grab it. Instead he squeezed his nipples harder and felt the pain rushing through his body. Each pinch made his cock quiver. Harry felt the pre cum leaking, coating his skin. Not quite there, not quite the time to touch yet. Harry couldn't lie still anymore. His hips started to push upwards with every pinch. Biting his lips he tried to keep himself from groaning too loud despite the silencing charm around him. Images of Snape teasing his nipples flooded Harry's mind and he couldn't hold back anymore. He reached underneath the blanket and wrapped his fingers firmly around his hard on. With his thumb he spread the fluid around the head of his cock that was oozing out of the slit. Then his hand started to move up and down on it with hard and fast strokes. He could feel the orgasm creep up on him already. His breath was getting heavier and heavier and his balls tightened. And sure enough he shot his cum into the blanket after a few more strokes. He quickly let go of his cock and grabbed for the wand, casting a cleaning spell. Sometimes when he used fantasies like this one, a part of him felt like a perverted freak and he was disgusted with himself. Today was on of these days. He rolled onto his side and tried to think about something else. * Severus handed a cup of tea to Harry before he sat down on his chair across from the young wizard. "Before we continue, I want to check something. I don't want to make the mistake of assuming something just to get proved wrong later (call that perfectionism if you like)." He gazed at Harry over the brim of his mug as he sipped carefully. Then he lowered his hand again. "Which part is it that you are intrigued by? Top or bottom?" "Top or bottom, sir?" Harry looked rather confused. "As in who is…" Severus smirked. "No, not as in who is fucking who. If a male submissive is tied to the bed and gets used as a sex toy by the Top, there is still no doubt about who is in charge even if he or she gets penetrated. Top in this case would be the dominant part and bottom the submissive one. I tend to disagree with the terms 'active' or 'passive' as the Top can be quite passive and still be in control whereas a bottom can be very active and still be the bottom." Severus took another sip from his cup. "Back to my question, Potter. Which one is your interest?" Severus watched Harry blush before he answered that he would be interested in the submissive part. Severus nodded. "As I have thought." "Can I ask a question, sir?" "I have witnessed on many occasions that you have mastered the ability to form a question, however, yes you may," Severus countered mockingly. Harry frowned at him for a moment but then his curiosity took over. "Are you… what are you, sir? I never actually asked but I always ho-" Harry looked up with wide eyes and swallowed. "I assumed that you are a Top," he added quickly. Severus smirked. Of course he had noticed that nearly slip. "You have hoped right." His smirk deepened as Harry's blush increased but didn't get into it. "I started my training as a bottom though." ~ Harry perked up. "You did?" He could hardly believe that. He couldn't imagine Snape submitting to anyone. Snape's gaze rested on Harry for quite a while, almost making Harry feel uncomfortable in its intensity. "Don't think I don't know about the deep craving of not having to be in control for a change. And at the same time struggling to really let go." Harry's chin dropped. That sounded exactly like he felt sometimes. "It has been a long time though since I submitted to anyone. And I don't count the time when I was playing the role of being a devoted servant of Voldemort." Harry watched Snape taking another sip of tea still puzzled about the confession he had heard. But his mentor kept talking. "However, that is not what I wanted to talk about today. I just wanted to make sure that my assumption was right." Harry nodded. "Do you remember what I told you the last time? The three things, which are very important in relation to BDSM?" Snape wanted to know. Of course Harry knew. He had repeated them over and over again. "Trust, honesty and communication." Snape nodded. "Right. Those three are the one pole of the construction of BDSM as I see it. The other three for the second pole are safe, sane and consensual. Actually all three of them explain themselves quite clearly but I want to say a few things however." Harry hung on every word Snape said and waited impatiently while his teacher put his mug aside. He himself had forgotten all about the tea that he had in his hand. "Consensual." Snape said and looked at Harry. "Why did I pick this one first?" Harry thought about an answer. "Because it's important that both have agreed to play with one another?" Snape nodded. "You are right. If it's not consensual it's abuse. Remember that, Harry. As you have said, both or more partner involved have agreed to play with one another. They have probably talked about a certain setting and about limits or things that don't go at all. That's where the communication comes in. They trust that the other one will respect their boundaries and not mean them any harm. Use your common sense and your gut feeling before you play with someone. If something inside of you tells you that this might not be a good partner or not a scene that you want to be a part of, then listen to yourself. You might just need to get to know the person better or learn more about what's involved in the setting. Or you might decide that you don't want to play with the person at all. For whatever reason it might be. A good and sensitive Top will accept that. You might be questioned, but should not be pushed or forced into something that you don't want – as far as the negotiation goes." Snape added with a smirk. "Testing boundaries in a play is something different. But that's for later." Harry watched Snape refilling his mug and his mind wandered of to think about limits that could be pushed in a play. But Snape had his attention back with asking him if he had any questions so far. And even though Harry's mind was racing with all the information he had gotten, he couldn't grasp a certain thought to form a question. "Not for now, sir." Snape nodded. "As you might have noticed, you can't really explain safe, sane and consensual without mentioning trust, honesty and communication." Harry nodded thoughtfully thinking back to what Snape had said before. "It's like they're all determine each other somehow. Like they are connected. You know what I mean?" ~ Severus looked at Harry and smiled lightly. "Exactly." He was pleased that Harry not only seemed to be ingenuously interested but also really thought about the things Severus was telling him. And it was actually pleasant to talk with Harry about a topic that both of them were interested in even though Harry had no experience with it. "Let's move to the next one, which would be 'sane'. Well, obviously sane is the opposite from insane." Severus chuckled and Harry grinned. "And it plainly translates into: use your brain before you get into situations that you can't handle anymore. Of course sane is linked to safe. As I said before, get to know the people you are playing with. Talk, talk and talk some more. Don't jump at someone just because you are needy or think you might not get someone else to play with." Severus made it a point to stop here and fix Harry with his eyes. He certainly wouldn't tell Harry right now that there were also other possibilities, like for example 'risk_aware' plays. That was advanced knowledge for people who had more experience and he saw no point in confusing Harry in this state of his education. "That's insane and not safe. But safe does also mean something else. Don't try stuff like flogging, caning or even more so cutting if you don't have experience with it. Let someone show it to you. You can seriously harm people if you don't know what you do. This is of course more for the new Tops out there or the ones trying something new. Safe also means that the bottom has to inform the Top if they have some kind of physical limitations, like for example low blood pressure, a slipped disk or if they know that there is something that will surely trigger bad memories. The Top needs to know such things to keep the bottom safe. It is the responsibility of a Top to keep the bottom and him or herself as safe (and sane) as possible." Severus leaned back in his chair after his lecture. He looked over to the clock on the mantelpiece and was surprised to see that their time was already over again. He was just about to tell Harry that it was time to leave when the young wizard spoke. "You take this responsibility very serious." Severus returned Harry's gaze. "Yes, I do. Does that surprise you?" Harry shook his head. "I might not have realised that there is so much responsibility involved but I am not surprised about you taking it serious. It was actually not a question, I was just saying it." Severus nodded. "We will speak more the next time. It is time for you to leave. If you have any questions you might want to write them down." Harry got up and nodded. "Good night, sir. And thank you. I'm really grateful that you agreed to be my mentor." "You are welcome." Severus watched Harry head towards the door and then remembered something. "One more thing, Harry. I've heard that you want to take up DADA again?" The young wizard turned back to face Severus. "Yes, sir. There are quite a few people who would really appreciate the get some extra lessons before the exams." "You mean all the others who haven't been a part of the DA?" Severus asked with a smirk. Harry laughed. "No, actually not, sir. At least I haven't heard from any Slytherins who wanted to join us." "They would rather fail their exams then being instructed by you. However, the Headmistress told me about this and I was wondering if you would be interested in doing the class with me?" "That would be excellent!" Harry replied his face beaming with excitement. Then he laughed. "And this way it wouldn't be my fault if they get lousy grades for their shield-charms." Severus arched his eyebrow in a questioning manner. "You are not telling me that you still haven't got it under control, are you?" Harry shrugged his shoulder. "I haven't been practising it anymore since the war is over." Severus other eyebrow shot up as well. "Don't you think that's a little careless?" It was the first time that Severus saw Harry actually smirk. "Nobody came even close to hexing me seriously since we don't duel anymore." Severus smirked right back. "Is that a challenge, Mr Potter?" Harry bowed lightly. "I would be honoured to duel with you again, sir." "We'll see about it. There will be practice every Sunday afternoon. I will make sure that there will be notes in all the common rooms." "Great!" "It will also give you an excuse to be here since we will have to prepare lessons together." Severus slyly added. Harry grinned. "Good night, sir," the young Gryffindor said and was gone. tbc ***** Chapter 4 ***** Chapter Notes The second part of this chapter is actually more of a little fun part that kept popping up in my mind and wouldn't go away. So bear with me :o) thank you. "Alright, I'm off to plan DADA with Snape. I'll see you later." Harry took his leave from the common room and went down to the dungeons. Snape was sitting at his desk as Harry entered his office. "I'm with you in a minute, Potter. I just need to finish this." Harry watched his teacher and mentor write something on a piece of parchment. He looked at the long and slender fingers that were holding the quill and his mind wandered off to images of what those hands and fingers could do on his body. One of them being the digits holding his nipples instead of the quill, holding and teasing them, another image that came to his mind was the hand stroking his skin instead of smoothing the folded parchment. Harry sighed and blinked a few times to get his mind out of the gutter. He looked up again and found Snape's eyes fixed on him. "Enjoying yourself there, Potter?" Feeling caught, Harry blushed furiously and he looked anywhere but at Snape but he did notice that his teacher sat back in his chair. "Maybe I shouldn't say this, but you do blush rather nicely. Very appealing." Harry's head snapped back and he stared at Snape who had gotten up and was on his way to his private chambers. Harry didn't move, as he was afraid his knees would buckle since they had become rather wobbly. He rubbed his damp hands on his jeans. He didn't really know how he felt. A part of him was deeply embarrassed because he was sure that Snape somehow knew to some extend what had been going on. But there was something else as well, some kind of excitement. "Coming, Potter?" Harry saw that Snape stood at the door, obviously waiting for him. He walked over and shot a glance at his mentor while passing him. If he wasn't completely off the road, he'd say that Snape did look quite amused. "Take a seat." Harry sat into his usual chair and gazed at Snape, watching him getting tea and sitting down himself. "You seem rather quiet today. Is everything alright?" The older wizard wanted to know. Harry nodded slowly. "Yes, sir. I'm fine. Its just… can I ask a question?" "You may." "Thank you, sir. I'm just wondering… about what you said in the office. Do you like making me feel…" Harry stopped and tried to find words. How had he actually felt? "I don't know how to describe it? I don't think I've felt like this before." Snape smiled benignly at him. "How does 'squirmy' describe it? As in being slightly embarrassed and your toes seem to curl up." Harry nodded. "Something like that, yes." "Did it feel nice or was it unpleasant?" Harry lowered his eyes. Honesty and communication. He took a deep breath. "Usually I don't like it much when I get embarrassed. But that wasn't bad." From underneath his fringe Harry looked at Snape who was still smiling. "I'm glad you don't feel bad about it. I've always had an affinity for teasing which leads to your answer: Yes, I do enjoy making someone squirm. And I could easily getting used to make you squirm." Harry felt his insides squeeze together as he heard that but Snape continued his face back to serious and he leaned forward in his chair. "And since we're already at it, there is something else that needs to be settled. Harry, you might want to hand control to someone else, but when it comes down to it, nobody besides you has it. That means that if there is a situation that you can't handle anymore because it is getting too much for you, you can stop things immediately. All you have to do is say a word. This would be a safe word and not just any other one, because sometimes 'no' actually means 'yes'. This safe word will be your lifeline, safety belt, emergency break or whatever you want to call it. The most common one is 'red' which means every action will stop as soon as you say it. Don't ever use it lightly but don't ever hesitate to use it if you need it! Did I make myself clear?" Harry nodded. "Yes, sir. If I'm struggling with a situation I call 'red'." "Now if you need to clarify something or have a cramp and need to move a limb, or anything else that doesn't need to stop the entire scene, I found it rather helpful to use 'yellow' for a check in. Others will simply voice it. It depends on how good the partners can communicate with each other." Harry nodded again. "Red for stopping and yellow to check in." ~ Severus leaned back in his chair. "Exactly." He smirked at Harry. "Now that we have that settled, Harry, tell me what you were staring at back in my office." Severus knew that this question had surprised the young wizard as he perked up and his cheeks started to colour again. "Er… um… well, I-" Harry broke off again. Severus tilted his head. "Yes?" He prodded. "Well, I was… er… looking at your hands, sir," Harry said, lowering his head again. Severus looked down on his hands. "And, pray tell, what would be so fascinating about my hands that you would stare at them for several minutes?" He slyly asked. Harry's head shot up. "Several minutes?! Blimey!" "Language, Potter." Severus smirked. Obviously Harry had not even noticed how long he had been in his own little world. "Sorry, sir." "I take it that you have lost track of time?" "Seems like it, sir." "So would you like to answer my question?" Severus saw the grin starting in Harry's face. "Don't even go there, Harry. It's not a polite question, it's a polite order." Harry pouted a bit but couldn't hide the smile. "One can always try." "You can try if you can deal with the consequences. Now what was that about my hands?" Severus was definitely enjoying this. "Well, sir," Harry started with burning cheeks. "I like your hands. There big and strong and yet I've seen them handling things with…uhm…" "I'm listening." "You know with… uhm… some kind of tenderness," the young wizard finally admitted. Severus chuckled. "Quite a strange concept to compound the greasy bat with tenderness, hm?" To his surprise Harry shook his head as he gazed at him but the words were even more astonishing: "Not for me, no. I just wasn't sure how you would react to it." "Oh." Severus blinked flummoxed. That was a turn on the conversation he had not expected. He sipped on his tea. "I guess I shouldn't be too surprised about that. There are hardly any people who get to see anything else then a snarky professor. That being said I do have emotions besides anger and I am even aware of them, Harry." The young wizard across Severus nodded slightly. "And there are some people out there who don't even want to look at the real you even if you would let them. They just keep reminding you that you have been a Death Eater. And some of them might never stop it." Harry was still gazing into Severus' eyes. "Doesn't that frustrate you sometimes?" Severus sighed softly. He wasn't sure if he wanted to answer this question at this point. It was far more private then anything they had talked about so far – at least in his opinion. And a part of him simply didn't want to admit that Harry was right to some degree: sometimes it was frustrating to be looked upon as something disgusting. But it was something he had been getting used to over the years and it even worked to his advantage at times. "Sir?" Severus hadn't noticed that his thoughts had been rambling. "Does it frustrate you to be admired as Dumbledore's Golden Boy?" As Severus had expected it, Harry snorted. "Hell, yes." Severus just raised an eyebrow, hiding his smirk. But Harry ignored the wordless scold and continued: "Even now after a year everybody treats me like I've done something extraordinary." Severus laughed softly. "That you did, Harry. No doubt about it." "Well, yes. I would have been lost without the help from others. I would have died many times if it hadn't been for my friends, the DA, the Order and without you. I wouldn't have had a chance to destroy Voldemort without the things you taught me." Severus watched Harry looking into the fire for a moment then the young wizard gazed back at him. "Did I ever tell you how grateful I am for your help?" "Not like this." "Well, I am." "Thank you for letting me know, Harry." "It was about time I'd say," Harry said with a wry smile. ~ They sat in a companionable silence for a while, both busy with their own thoughts while they watched the flames dance in the fireside. It was Harry who finally spoke first. "Sir?" Harry could feel Snape's gaze shift towards him but he kept his eyes on the fire. "Yes, Harry?" "I still owe you an answer. I was imagining what your hands would feel like on my body. And what they might do there." Somehow it had been easier to not look at Snape while admitting this. In addition to that Harry was also afraid of looking at him. He was afraid of loosing himself in those onyx eyes, or to just stare at his lips, wondering how they would feel on his, or his mind would wander of once more while staring at his hands. It was safer to not look at him right now. "What is going on, Harry?" Harry heard the concern in Snape's voice and shot a quick glance at him before returning his eyes back to the fire. He took a deep breath. "Honesty and communication, right?" Harry didn't wait for an answer. "I… I'm feeling rather attracted to you." And it would have been wiser to keep his bloody brave Gryffindor mouth shut, Harry thought. He rolled his eyes about his stupidity. "And now you're probably going to stop the lessons because of it." Harry sighed. Then he realised that so far Snape hadn't kicked him out. He hadn't even scolded him. Harry turned his head just to find Snape smiling softly. "I'm not surprised about it. I should have expected it. For one thing you are a teenager with hormones flying high and above, secondly you are sitting here listening to me telling you about all those new and exciting things and on top of that I am teasing you despite the fantasy I have seen." Harry watched as Snape took another sip of his tea before he put the mug on the table beside him. Then the older wizard looked thoughtfully at Harry. "I should have foreseen it," he said quietly and it seemed like he had said that more to himself. "Harry, as I said before, I like teasing you. But my intention was not to manipulate you into falling head over heals for me. You are young and a lot of things can happen in three months." Harry frowned in confusion. "I don't feel like you are manipulating me. And if I choose not to jump at the next best opportunity before I get my hands on- " Harry felt the blood shooting into his head and coughed. He saw Snape arching an eyebrow but before he could say something, Harry added that it was his own choice. Snape nodded but didn't say anything for a moment. Harry once again looked into the flames. "We'll continue your education later, Harry. It's time for dinner." Surprised about the time having passed so quickly, Harry turned his head back to Snape. "Wow, time's flying past if you're having fun." The teacher chuckled. "Seems like it." Harry got up from his chair and so did Snape. Tipping back his head a bit, Harry looked into Snape's eyes that held nothing of the coldness in them like years before. He sighed and without a word he turned and left, on his way to the door muttering quietly under his breath: "Two more months. It's not that long. I can do this…"     * Most of the seventh years were standing in the room of requirement, which was once again their room for DADA practice. Harry and Snape stood in the middle of the students. Harry looked around the room. "I'm glad to see so many faces here although I have to admit that I am fairly surprised about it." Once again his eyes scanned the room including Snape. "I'm surprised because many of you don't like me," Harry continued while looking at the Slytherins. "And the rest isn't really fond of Professor Snape." Harry's eyes set on Ron who blushed before he lowered his head. "I'm wondering if some of you are here because they believe or hope that Professor Snape will accidentally harm or even kill me or the other way around." Hermione and Neville burst out laughing and Harry winked at them. Even Snape had trouble to keep his mask of indifference in place. But others did actually avoid Harry's gaze. "Well I have bad news for those who did come for this reason because it won't happen. I'm glad that Professor Snape has offered his help since he has a lot to teach." Harry stepped back and inclined his head to Snape who gave a curt nod. "Thank you, Mr Potter, for the insurance that you do not intend to threaten my life. It puts my mind on rest," Snape drawled. Harry bit back his snort of laughter and lowered his head staring at the floor to keep himself from laughing. Like Snape had needed this assurance. "The same goes for me. I do not plan to harm or kill Mr Potter or anyone else. However," Snape glowered at the students. "I am going to sharpen your handling with the wand. And first of all we will work on a charm that all of you should be able to perform perfectly while sleeping." Harry knew that he was blushing slightly and couldn't help but grin sheepishly. He knew very well which charm the teacher was talking about. Snape looked at Harry. "If you please." Harry nodded and moved away from the older wizard who continued to talk. "I am talking about the shield-charm. Mr Potter has agreed to demonstrate for you the consequences of an inaccurate one. The rest of you will move over here so you can see what I am talking about." While Harry watched his schoolmates getting into position he imagined what would happen if he would cast a perfect shield for a change. He nervously gripped his wand tighter and bit his lip to keep him from snickering. "Cast your shield, Mr Potter." "Protego!" Just a second later, Harry had the feeling of looking through blue coloured glass at Snape and the others. The teacher must have cast the colouring charm silently, that he had taught him for this lesson. Snape looked at Harry. "You do realise, Mr Potter, that most curses would hit you with full impact even if you would only been hit on your foot?" The teacher smirked causing Harry to look down. There was a red blotch on his left shoe. "Great! Those are my new shoes!" Soft snickers were heard throughout the room. "Oh, how rude of me. Let me get rid of this," Snape slyly said. With a lazy wave of his wand the stain on the shoe was gone but instead Harry had one on his right elbow. "I believe I made my point. Lower your shield, Potter." Harry lowered his wand while releasing the charm whereas Snape turned to the others. With his wand he created a line between the students. "Divide into two groups and no bullying around or else you will leave the room at once." The teacher ignored the soft muttering and told them that everyone had to cast the shield in front of Snape or Harry and that the two of them would check it. Harry had a funny feeling in his stomach but as he saw that Hermione turned towards Snape, who was closer to her without hesitating, he relaxed. But then he noticed that he had nearly all the Slytherins in his group. Harry took a deep breath. Even though the open hostility of the snakes had stopped, they still weren't on friendly terms. "Let's start." Only three of the Ravenclaws before Harry had cast their shields when Snape asked them all to stop. Harry turned to Snape wondering what had caused the break. Neville was in front of the professor, his wand hand halfway lowered. "Mr Longbottom, you had another growth spurt last summer, right?" Neville looked rather surprised about the question and his cheeks were dusted with pink as he answered with a nod. "I thought so." Snape glanced over the rest of the students. "You all learned that charm in your third year, or second? I don't know. But you all seem to have forgotten that you have grown since then and I mean that literally. You aren't twelve anymore so you have to adjust your shield to your size." Harry had the impression that he looked at their teacher just as dumbfounded as the others. "Hasn't anyone told you that?" Snape looked first at Harry, then to the others and everyone shook their heads. Harry wasn't sure he really heard Snape muttering something about a bunch of dilettantes because he then said that they would have start from the beginning. "Remember your first instructions. You were supposed to imagine a shield that reaches from the ground to above your head, covering also both of your sides. Something solid that can't be breached." Harry closed his eyes as Snape told them to and concentrated on his body first before he pictured the wanted shield. Just to be sure, he added a little to the size of the shield and held that picture in his mind for a moment. "Mr Potter, if you please." Harry turned towards Snape his eyes still closed. He lifted his hand and cast the image from his head into the wand. "Protego!" Harry opened his eyes again and the smirk in Snape's face told him all he needed to know. "What a sweet sight for my sore eyes, Mr Potter. Finally I see a perfect shield from you." Harry grinned and lowered his wand again. The dark haired wizard turned back to the others. "My guess would be that you all should be doing fairly well now. If not get back to the first step," he said. "Get all in line again we will check out how you are doing." Snape had been right. Almost all of the students now had a shield that protected them well. Quickly they were through with the trial and still had time left. "Let's move to the second most important thing when handling a wand. What might that be, Mr Potter?" "Er-" Harry grinned sheepishly as he remembered those lessons. "Aiming, Professor?" "Precisely. I refused to use my classroom once more after Mr Potter had demolished it three times. I left him spending some time on this." Snape cast a silent spell and an old fashioned black and yellow target appeared on one wall. "Remember those, Mr Potter?" "Sure do, Professor. I've dreamed of those after spending hours in front of them," Harry replied jauntily. Then something happened that no student had ever thought of: Severus Snape chuckled in a room full of students. "Would you please, Mr Potter." Turning around to face the target, Harry saw the stunned expressions from his schoolmates. Everyone was still staring at the teacher. Harry lifted his wand and cast a silent spell at the goal. His aim was true and he hit the bull's eye three times in a row, each time making the centre shine in bright red for a moment. "Excellent. Divide into pairs and practice in turns until the time is over." Snape flicked his wand and produced enough targets for all of them. "And next time we will be able to work on some advanced defence." Harry turned away from the target he had occupied and strolled over to where the older wizard stood. "No comments from you that would haunt them at night, Professor?" Harry asked casually. Snape turned his head to Harry. "It was haunting you?" Harry snorted good-natured. "Hearing 'Finally you're getting somewhere, Potter!' every time I hit the bull's eye wasn't really funny after two hours, twice a week." "I can't imagine why," Snape said with a smirk. "You should have told me though that you had caught up that quickly." "Never mind that anymore. I wouldn't have had thought about it if it weren't for a certain setting here." Harry smiled at his teacher and mentor and then went to look around to see how the others were doing. tbc ***** Chapter 5 ***** Chapter Summary Since I won't be at home tomorrow I thought I'll post a little early. But I do have to say something else, though. I'm a little suprised that after over 1100 hits there are only 6 comments. Is leaving a little note outdated nowadays? Or are people not really reading the story, just clicking on it and leaving again because they don't like it? Tell me about it :o) Everyone from Gryffindor was happily chatting along as they went back to their common room after the practice. Well, everyone except Ron who was quiet and looked like he was brooding over something. They were seated at their favourite spot and Harry looked enquiring from Neville to Hermione gesturing with his head towards the redhead. Both shrugged their shoulders. "What's up, Ron?" Harry asked his best mate. Ron looked up and around as if he had come back out of reverie. "What?" "Something's going on and we would like to know what it is." Ron took a deep breath. "You know, when Hermione and you started telling me off about Snape, I really thought he had you under the Imperio." Harry frowned. Ron should know that Harry could shake off the Imperius Curse. But he decided to let it slip as long as Ron continued. "But then Neville chimed right in and Ginny as well, thanks to Neville." Ron cast a glance around to see if his younger sister was around. "I asked her if she had gone bonkers now as well." Ron at least had the decency to blush as he looked at his friends. "Well, you know my sister." Hermione and Neville laughed and Harry smirked. "She probably told you off in a fashion that reminded you very much of your mother," Hermione snorted. "Yeah, that's pretty much what she did." Ron rubbed his face. "Did I imagine this or did he really laugh today?" This time it was Neville who answered. Harry stayed silent and thought about the many times he had seen his mentor smile and laugh. And he didn't mention that this smile made Snape look several years younger and quite handsome. Ron's next words brought Harry back from his thoughts. "Well, maybe I have been misjudging him a little." Harry grinned. He knew his mate good enough to realise that Ron actually meant a great deal. "And apparently he would have made an excellent DADA teacher. He gets into details nobody else has ever bothered about." Harry nodded thoughtfully. "It's like with Potions, if he decides to do something he puts his heart into it." Ron looked at Harry saucer-eyed. "Sorry, mate. I might believe that he isn't as much a git as I thought, but you're not going to convince me that he has a heart beating in his chest." Hermione slapped Ron's leg. "Oi! Blimey! I was kidding!" The redhead said, rubbing his leg. Harry remembered Snape's thoughts that the wizard had given him believing that he was about to die. He looked at none in particular as he softly said that it had been exactly because of his heart that Snape had sworn to protect him after his parents had been killed. Nobody said anything and Harry got up and headed for the door. He needed to walk around for a bit. He heard steps running after him and wasn't surprised to hear Hermione's voice, asking him if it was all right to join him. Harry accepted and together they made their way through the castle neither of them speaking before they were outside. Harry decided to share something with Hermione that he had not told a single soul before. He knew that his friend would not tell someone else not even Ron if he asked her too. "Snape was in love with my mom and begged Voldemort to not kill her." Harry glanced briefly at Hermione who looked back with a thoughtful expression. "And because he didn't spare her, Snape changed sides," the witch said more to herself. Harry nodded. After a moment Hermione wanted to know what was going on between Harry and Snape. Harry stopped dead in his tracks. Had she found out anything? "What do you mean?" "I'm not stupid, Harry. Since a few weeks you've been away for hours at a time and you seem to be much more relaxed. Snape on the other hand has changed as well. Yes, he hasn't been as harsh as he used to be but he was still far from being friendly. Now he even praises the once so hated Gryffindors and Harry Potter no less!" Harry snickered. "But he made it sound like an insult." Hermione glanced at him sideways. "Sarcasm is an art, Harry," she primly said. Then they both grinned. "And now he even starts to laugh." "He was chuckling and not laughing," Harry corrected her. Hermione frowned at Harry. "You know what I mean! Anyway, I don't believe that the two of you need hours to prepare DADA. As a matter of fact I am sure you could be through with it in half an hour." "Make that fifteen minutes," Harry said with a wink. After a moment he opted to confide in Hermione. "You know that I'm into guys but there is something else that leaves me curious about my sexuality. And since I didn't know anyone else that I trusted and might know something about the subject I asked him." "Are you talking about sadomasochism?" "How do you-" Harry stopped as he saw the glare Hermione shot at him. "I am not stupid, Harry Potter! Even I heard the rumours in our first years here." "Sorry, Hermione. I know that you are not stupid." Harry rubbed his forehead, it was a gesture he had gotten accustomed too and sighed. "I know I don't need to tell you this, but it really is important that you won't even tell Ron about anything we speak here." Hermione just nodded. Harry nodded as well and took a deep breath. Then he told his friend everything he had learned so far. It felt good to finally be able to talk someone else besides Snape. Hermione listened without interrupting him. Only after Harry had stopped she said that it would sound quite different from what you usually hear. "It is," Harry confirmed. Hermione turned her head to Harry. "How do you feel with it?" "Good so far. I don't know how it will actually feel, though, when…" Harry broke off and gazed into the distance. "You mean, you haven't…" Hermione didn't finish her sentence either obviously struggling for words. Harry glanced at her and noticed her pink dusted cheeks. With a grin he shook his head. "I mean that Snape and I sit in a room and talk. He won't touch me as long as I'm still his student. I respect him even more for it. Sometimes I don't like his decision but I respect it." "You like him a lot, don't you?" They had stopped walking and Harry's eyes moved over the lake. Another deep sigh came from Harry as he nodded. "I do." He looked at the young witch beside him. "Even though I have no clue why things have changed so suddenly." Hermione laughed. "Maybe because it's the first time that you two have civil conversations instead of being busy hating each other?" Harry grinned. "You know, you could have a point there." They started walking again, heading back towards the castle. "I get to know a very different Snape. For the first time I get to see behind the teacher and former spy." "He's been living like what seventeen years or something behind a mask? One doesn't change that so easily I guess." Harry thought about how Snape had grown up and his time here at Hogwarts. More to himself he said that Snape actually had more then just one reason to stay an embittered man. Only when he saw Hermione's intrigued look, he realised that he had spoken out loud. "Don't ask, I've shouldn't have said that in the first place." He paused for a moment. "It's amazing how different he is when he doesn't have to be on guard. He even looks different." Hermione linked her arm with Harry's. "I hope he likes you as much as you like him."   * Severus handed Minerva a cup of tea. "Thank you for coming down, Minerva. I'm not in the mood today to have all the former Headmasters prick their ears while they pretend to be asleep." Severus shuddered. Some of them even went to the length of letting drool run down their chins to appear convincing. "Is there anything in particular you want to talk about then, Severus?" The witch wanted to know while stirring her tea. Severus, now with his own mug in his hands, seated himself in his chair in front of the fire. "I wanted to be on the safe side. Just in case I let something slip." Without noticing he smiled into his cup. The Headmistress tilted her head. "Now you have me curious, Severus." The dark haired wizard laughed. "Isn't curious something that would be more appropriate for the ones we're teaching here?" "You have changed, Severus," Minerva said. "The excruciating harsh professor is gone at last. I even hear rumours about you laughing during DADA practice." Severus nearly dropped his cup. "Merlin's beard! I did? Those are bad news. I have a reputation to watch out for." His thoughts went back to earlier that day. When had he been laughing? "Why do I have the feeling that you are not as shocked as you pretend to be?" Gazing thoughtfully at Minerva, Severus pondered that question but before he could come up with an answer, the elderly witch put her cup on the small table. "Since you are not really forthcoming-" Severus snorted good-natured. Minerva arched an eyebrow. "I even believe that you are doing this deliberately, my friend. And don't act the innocent, Severus Snape!" The Potion Master smirked. Over the last year Severus had learned to relax around Minerva and they had made a ritual out of having tea together instead of bantering in the draughty corridors of the castle. It hadn't been easy at first but slowly he had believed that she really didn't hold a grudge against him like so many others. She had been one of the very few people where he allowed himself to lower his guard a little. "Seriously, Severus," Minerva interrupted his thoughts. "May I ask if there is someone in your life that has finally been able to melt some of this ice around you? If you will excuse my rather pathetic phrasing." Severus snorted once more. "Only because it's you." Then he took a deep breath. "You are right. There is someone in my life." Seriously he gazed at Minerva. "Truth to be told, I've never been so glad that you saved my life." The witch looked at him for quite some time before she spoke again. "I think it's time that you need to know that it wasn't me who really saved you." Severus startled. "You didn't… but who did?" "If it hadn't been for Harry, you would have been dead long before we had a chance to get to you." Severus shook his head. This couldn't be true. There was no way that Harry would have done this, was there? And even if he'd done it, he certainly would have told him, wouldn't he? He shook his head again and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It can't be! Not Harry," Severus said flatly. "You still hate him that much, Severus? Don't you think it's time to-" "He would have told me!" Severus interrupted the Headmistress heatedly. Especially now after they had been talking so openly. One (at this point not very rational functioning) part of Severus jumped from 'not telling' to 'secrets' and from there to 'lies'. "He didn't want you to know," Minerva tried to explain, not knowing that she would only make it worse. In one fluid motion Severus was out of his chair and paced the room. Why hadn't Harry said anything? Didn't he know how important honesty was to Severus? How could he, Severus, trust Harry if he didn't tell him something like this? "Severus?" Once more Severus rubbed the bridge of his nose. This didn't feel good. What was he supposed to do? "Severus Snape!" This time Minerva's voice did pierce Severus' thoughts and he looked at her. He had forgotten that she was still there. "Why does it disturb you so badly? Harry is far from being what you believe him to be. And he is not his father!" "Why didn't anyone tell me? Why didn't Harry tell me?" Severus asked hauntingly. "Severus, sit back down, will you? I don't like the way you are looming over me." Severus sighed deeply, moved to his chair and dropped into it. His thoughts were starting to slow down but he still couldn't believe it. "Would you rather have died instead of being saved by Harry? Is that it?" Minerva looked enquiring at Severus. He frowned at the witch. "Nonsense. Maybe back then this would have been the case but not now. No, it's not the fact that Harry was the person saving me." "You are not making any-" Minerva stopped in mid-sentence and narrowed her brows. "Severus, you are calling Harry by his given name and you are more bothered about the fact that he hasn't told you?" Severus realised that he hadn't yet gotten as far as telling Minerva about Harry and himself spending time talking together. But she had made the connection herself as her next words proved. "Is Harry that implied person in your life?" Severus took another deep breath and nodded. "He is." To Severus' utter bewilderment Minerva started to laugh. He glared at her and was just about to say something as the witch hold up her hand. "I am sorry, Severus, I really am. I know that you are somehow confused but… this is quite… amusing." Minerva coughed obviously not really successfully trying to regain her composure. "That's what you think," Severus snarled at her. "I disagree." Well, truth to be told, somewhere deep inside he did think that it was truly comical that out of all people it was Harry Potter who had somehow breached the armour around him. But consciously Severus wasn't quite in the right state of mind to admit it. It was Minerva's turn to take a deep breath. "Severus, I don't know why it is bothering you so much that Harry hasn't told you about the episode-" "Oh, me nearly dying is an episode now?" He interrupted the Headmistress gruffly. The elderly witch arched her eyebrows. "Will you just hush up and listen to me?" She said in her best Professor McGonagall voice. Severus gave her another glare. Did he really need to sit here in his own rooms and get reprimanded like an ill-mannered schoolboy? "Harry asked me to not let you know about him saving you. He feared you would think it was something else that he would be bragging about to his friends." Severus felt like a bucket with cold water had been poured over his head. It had a rather clarifying effect on his mind. Clearly the young man had known Severus better then he gave him credit for. At least regarding to the unalluring aspects of Severus' twisted mind back then. And it explained why Harry hadn't told him at that time. But it still didn't elucidate why he hadn't spoken about it recently. Did he not trust him? Once again Minerva disrupted Severus' train of thoughts. "What is bothering you, Severus?" He sighed before he said that he'd been jumping to wrong conclusions. "But right now I am asking myself if Harry doesn't trust me." Severus thought about how much he could say to the Headmistress without revealing too much. "We have been talking – and talking only for your reassurance – a lot about how important honesty and communication are to me." Minerva nodded. "And you felt in some way deceived by him not telling you?" "As I said, I've been wrong." Severus hated to be wrong and he definitely hated to be forced to repeat said fact. "I don't blame him that he didn't mention it last year. But he could have told me now." "Maybe he's afraid that he would lose you if you know?" "That's why I'm asking myself if he trusts me." Minerva smiled softly. "Being afraid and not trusting someone is not quite the same thing, Severus." "If he would trust me he would have talked to me regardless of his fear," Severus argued. Arching an eyebrow at Severus, Minerva wanted to know how well Harry would have taken Severus' fit of pique if he would have came out with the truth. Taking the point Severus muttered something about Harry having survived far worse moments of his anger. He didn't tell her that the last outburst hadn't been that long ago though. He decided that he would have to talk with Harry about everything as another thought came into his mind. He looked at the Headmistress. "It just dawned to me that you have not once asked me about the hole thing." He must have forgotten the fact because he had been asked so many times by so many people – not that they had wanted to believe him. "Why not?" Minerva gave him a small smile. "First of all there was a very determined Harry Potter, who by all means was not on friendly terms with you. He said that you needed to be rescued and that you had always been loyal to Dumbledore. He had no reason to play a false game about this. And then of course there was Dumbledore himself who confirmed what Harry had said. Last but not least Harry told me that if Dumbledore's and his word would still not be enough, he had evidence he would use but only in an emergency." Severus knew what evidence Harry had referred to: his thoughts. "And I believed that you would tell me the whole story if and when you would want to." For a moment Severus gazed into the fire. "Did you bring some time with you?" "If you have another cup of that delicious tea for me," Minerva said with a smile. "Certainly." Severus got up and went to get the teapot. "For sixteen years Dumbledore was the only one who knew the whole story behind everything. Harry knows since last year. But that is not the beginning and not where I shall start." tbc ***** Chapter 6 ***** Chapter Notes Thank you for the comments guys :o) "Harry-" "Sir, I-" The two wizards looked at each other. "Go ahead, Harry," Snape said. Harry nodded. "I wanted to tell you that I've been speaking with someone I trust. I mean about the two of us talking." Harry shot a nervous glance at his mentor, being very well aware of how much Snape liked his privacy. "She asked me what was going on and then I told her." Snape arched his eyebrows. "For some reason I am relieved that it is Miss Granger and not Mr Weasley." Snorting with laughter Harry said that Ron would have gone right through the roof if he had told him. "He has enough trouble with me being gay. No need to push the envelope even more." "Did you tell her about the topic of our conversations?" Harry could feel some heat rising to his head. "Well… not exactly. I said something about some kind of interest concerning my sexuality. Hermione is not stupid and made the connection herself," Harry said. And as in an afterthought he added: "She'll probably have read three books by next week. I bet she will find some unlike me." Snape chuckled. "I assume she didn't take the news that bad then?" Shaking his head Harry told him that she had been rather surprised about what Harry had told her. "Why? Because we might not be the freaks we appear to be?" Severus asked dryly. "Sort of," Harry replied then he sighed softly already feeling a little better now that he had told Snape about him and Hermione talking and not getting his head chopped off. But there was a question that had been bothering him since yesterday. He cast a glance into the fire then his eyes returned back to his mentor. "Can I ask you a question, sir?" "Go ahead." Another flush of heat settled into his cheeks. "It's rather private though." Harry lowered his eyes to avoid Snape's piercing ones but literally felt the older wizard's gaze on him. "Then I might decide to not answer you. But you may still ask." "Fair enough." After another deep breath Harry looked up again. He needed to see Snape's eyes if he would answer. "You loved my mom who without a doubt was a woman." Harry paused a moment but nothing came from Snape, he just looked at him. "If I am not mistaken, you do have some sort of feelings for me." Again there was no sign at all in Snape's face. "Is it because I have…" "You mother's eyes?" Snape finished his sentence. Harry nodded, his heart thumping almost painfully in his chest. "No, it's not that. You might be confused by my indifference concerning the gender a person has that I'm interested in. It's the person behind the gender, not the gender itself that intrigues me. Some might call that bisexual. Now regarding your appearance," Snape smirked at Harry. "Don't you think the past years proved clearly that I was seeing more of your father in you then of your mother because you look so much like him? During our private lessons I saw that your behaviour didn't resemble you father as much as I had always believed." Harry felt a painful pang inside of him as he remembered the incident with his godfather. "Sirius once said that I would be less like my father then he had thought and he was rather disappointed about it," he said quietly. ~ Severus silently took a deep breath but didn't say anything. Nothing he would say about the mutt would make Harry feel any better. "Did I answer your question?" Harry looked up again and nodded. "Yes, thank you, sir." "I guess it's my turn then. I do have a few questions that I would like to have answered." Severus put the mug on the table. "First of all: do you trust me, Harry?" "What?!" Harry stared at Severus as if he had grown a second head. "Is this a serious question?" Severus raised an eyebrow. "Do I look like I am joking?" Harry shook his head no. "Sir, you had my life in your hands more then just once," he said sincerely. "You have my full confidence." Severus nodded. A part of him was not surprised about the answer. Harry had to trust him somehow otherwise he wouldn't be sitting here. "Why have you never told me that it was you saving my life?" After a shock moment Harry turned his face towards the fire but Severus had still seen that he had paled. "Who told you that?" "Does it matter?" Severus wanted to know. "Not really, I s'pose," came the muttered response. Severus sighed. "You haven't been the only who spent time with someone trustful to talk." The dark haired wizard watched Harry slowly turning his head back to him. "Professor McGonagall?" Severus nodded. "If it wasn't for her interference I would still be aggravated. I was furious after I heard it, to be honest. First I couldn't believe that you had done it and then I couldn't believe that you hadn't told me. Minerva had quite some trouble to make me see that you had your reasons for not telling me last year." "Tell me about it," Harry muttered. "Trust me, Harry, she made her point. It has been quite some time since I last felt like a schoolboy." As Severus had hoped, his last confession brought a smile into the younger wizard's face. "And I understand now why you didn't tell me back then. But I am wondering why you didn't say anything recently." Harry shrugged his shoulders. "What did you expect? That I would walk up and say 'oh, by the way, did you know that it was me saving your life in the shack?' I don't know, to me that sounds just so – smug." Severus had a hard time to keep his face straight. That was exactly what he had believed Harry to be for most part of the time he had known him. As much as he hated the fact, Severus had to admit that – once again – he had been wrong. Harry had a point. He sighed. "My muddled mind jumped from not telling, to secrets and from there to lies... you get the picture, I'm sure." "I'm sorry about this," Harry said quietly, his green eyes fixed on Severus. Severus shook his head. "Let's just say I'm relieved that you haven't been at the receiving end of my discomposure." "You know, I'm not surprised that honesty is even more important for you with the background you have." Severus gazed at Harry. Why had he ever thought that the boy – no, young man –was shallow? He simply nodded. "Sir? Did you tell the Headmistress about us?" Harry wanted to know. Severus nodded again and smiled as he remembered her outburst. "I told her that we talk and get to know each other. She found it rather entertaining that it is you out of all people who. And she's right, it's fairly amusing," Severus said. He lifted his hands as in despair. "A Gryffindor no less!" He shook his head but couldn't hide his smile. "So nobody ever told you that the Sorting Hat had nearly put me into Slytherin?" Harry asked acting the innocent. Severus stared at Harry. "Into Slytherin?" Harry nodded without batting an eye. "Why didn't it?" "Because I asked to be put anywhere but Slytherin," Harry said bluntly. "My first encounter with Draco left a rather fishy impression about Slytherins." Severus lifted his hand. "I don't even want to think about how that would have ended." Not to mention it would have been so much easier to let something happen to Harry and make it look like an accident if he would have been in his house. "Do you think we would have killed each other?" Harry asked with a grin in his face. Severus nodded. "Something along the line. Voldemort would have been delighted, though, so many possibilities. But enough of that," Severus said and then with a smirk added: "So you do have some useful skills after all? Must have if you nearly had been send into my house." "Do I hear sarcasm here?" "Sarcasm is an art, Potter." Harry gaped at Severus for a second, then he burst out laughing, holding his sides. Severus curiously tilted his head and waited for the fit to end. He didn't think his last sentence had been that funny, had it? "Maybe you should have a little chat with Hermione." Arching an eyebrow Severus wanted to know why he should do that. He never had any temptations to get into a lengthy conversation with the young witch. "'Sarcasm is an art, Harry!' was the exact phrase she used yesterday," Harry explained still chuckling softly. Severus raised his second eyebrow in surprise. "Maybe there is more depth behind Miss Granger then I have believed," he admitted. It wouldn't be the first person that he had been wrong about. Another one was sitting right in front of him. "Hermione isn't just brains and books, you know." Harry paused for a moment. "I was telling her yesterday that I was a little surprised about how fast…" Severus saw the pink flush in Harry's cheeks as he interrupted himself and wondered what he might say next. "…well, how fast things have changed." Harry averted Severus' eyes. "And she said something along the line that maybe we were able to have normal conversations now and wouldn't be busy hating each other." "I have no clue at all what she is talking about." Severus chuckled. Harry snorted. "Yeah right." ~ Harry looked at the older wizard in front of him whose smirk had softened into a smile as he returned the gaze. "Thank you, Harry," Snape said quietly. Harry's heart was drumming at a racing beat as he delved into onyx black eyes. All of a sudden it was chilly in the room in spite of the blazing fire. Harry tore his eyes away and gazed into the flames. Pictures of Snape sprawled on the floor in the hut flooded Harry's mind, the blood that had been pouring slowly but steadily from the wounds Nagini had caused, Snape reaching out for him. More to himself he said that it had felt so wrong to just let him die like this. "I… I just had to try and help you. So I cast the stasis spell on you, the one you use for potions-" "You what?" Sharply Harry turned his head back to his teacher, feeling alarmed at the sound of his voice. Snape was leaning forward, staring at him with a shocked expression. "You used a stasis spell?" Starting to feel really uncomfortable, Harry shifted on his chair. "Well, yes. I couldn't think of anything else that would keep the venom from spreading. And you were loosing blood as well. I used Conservo-" Harry stopped his babbling as Snape started to laugh – and heartily at that. Amazed the young wizard watched his teacher. He had never ever heard Snape laughing like that. Still feeling a little uncertain he grinned sheepishly. "Sweet Salazar!" Snape finally managed to say. "I would have loved to see the healers faces when you told them." "Um, I didn't tell them. Professor McGonagall did." Snape took a deep breath. "I bet they have never thought about using a spell for potions on a human before." Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Well, it worked, didn't it?" he said bashfully. Snape chuckled. "And I'm glad it did." * "BDSM people come in many variations," Snape said in their next meeting. "Just like everyone else does. Some like this, others like that." Harry listened intrigued to Snape who was telling him about all kinds of ways to live BDSM. There were people who lived in a D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationship 24/7 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week), which were often referred to as a Master/slave couple. If this was the case, the slave had handed control willingly to their Master (as much as it was possible with real life interfering). Sometimes they even made a contract were they defined their relationship. Snape furthermore explained that not everyone who was into D/ s was also into SM and vice verse and that some liked both. "I for an instance don't feel drawn towards the concept of a 24/7 relationship. It doesn't appeal to me to be in role at all times. I do, however, enjoy playing for a certain amount of time; let's say for a weekend." Harry narrowed his eyes as a smirk appeared on Severus' face. Now what? "And I do like to surprise a submissive by prompting a play spontaneously. Especially after the sub being a cheeky brat." Harry blinked. That voice sounded so wrong. It was too soft – dangerously soft. And that smirk that was curled around Snape's mouth didn't really make him look any less wicked. Harry's mouth went dry and he felt a jolt of excitement. He blushed with the realisation of being very attracted to that – what was it anyway? Power? "Not that you would ever be cheeky, would you?" Snape wanted to know in that silky voice. "Um…" Even more heat was creeping up his face. What was he supposed to say? "Er-" Snape chuckled. "Never mind that question. By knowing you I already know the answer anyway." Harry gulped – audible. The smirk on Snape's face deepened. "But let's get back to the topic." Harry nodded and gathered himself, or tried to anyway. "We've been talking about different interests in BDSM. What part are you interested in? Are you into serving others? Are you a masochist? Both?" It had been obvious that a question like that would have to come up sooner or later. But Harry had done his best to not think about how it would feel to talk about it (instead he'd been fantasising about how it would actually feel to feel it). He moved in his chair. "Um… you have… well, seen… my fantasy." Snape nodded. "Yes, I saw a part of it. I saw you over my lap. But I withdrew myself before I could see anything else. Was there more to it?" Harry was getting uncomfortable warm underneath his robes. Couldn't the ground just open up and swallow him? How would he survive the embarrassment of telling Snape the rest of this fantasy? "Youspankedmynakedbottom,sir." Harry sputtered. Then he added in a more audible voice that he wasn't sure if he really liked pain because he certainly didn't enjoy being injured and aching from that. "I understand that and I certainly agree. But being injured is something very different from the sensual pain a special person inflicts on you." Snape stated. "And it's not uncommon to get sexual aroused while in a scene." Harry was surprised to find that although he was blushing furiously, that there still seemed to be enough blood left to fill a certain part of his body – just what he needed right now. "Have you ever played around with yourself?" Snape wanted to know in a matter of fact kind of voice. "Play around?!?" Harry squealed. "As in… oh my gosh." "With pain, Harry. I'm not asking if you ever masturbated," Snape explicated, sounding amused. Slumping down again, Harry simply said: "Oh." "Like for example pinching your own nipples." The tension was all back and Harry squirmed on his chair. ~ Severus tilted his head and watched Harry, somehow sensing that the young wizard was getting uncomfortable and he almost missed the quick nod. "Was that a yes, Harry?" The answer was nearly not audible: "Yes, sir." "Did you like it?" Harry turned his head away. His fingers were twiddling with the seam of the robe but he didn't answer. Severus got up from his chair and crouched in front of Harry. "Look at me," he said softly. After a few seconds, Harry turned his head and looked at Severus. His eyes were a shade darker then usual and he looked torn. "Are you ashamed, Harry?" Harry lowered his eyes and nodded. Severus sighed softly. Of course he was. There weren't that many in the BDSM- scene who hadn't been there. He took Harry's chin and lifted it up gently until Harry looked at him again. "There is no reason at all to be ashamed, do you hear me?" "But they say it's bad, it's abnormal," Harry whispered. "I know they do," Severus said benignly, locking eyes with Harry. "But they don't know what they are talking about. It is not bad. It's just something they don't know so they can't relate to it. They believe people like us just beat each other up. They don't know anything else about us. And instead of letting us be, they make us feel bad simply because we're different." Without realising it, Severus had started to stroke the skin underneath his thumb as he spoke. "You don't need to be ashamed about the things you desire, Harry. There are others out there who enjoy pain and there are people who enjoy inflicting pain – the good kind of pain. And it isn't bad as long as all the people who are involved in it like it." Harry took a deep breath. "You know, sometimes I feel so bad after I have been using one of those images to pleasure myself," he said quietly. Severus nodded. "I know how that feels, Harry. I've been there." He lowered his hand again, letting it rest on his thigh. That seemed to have been the breaking point. Harry looked at Severus for a moment, and then slowly be began to tell about the fantasy he had used recently to masturbate. Severus listened to him and created the pictures in his head about how he had been pinching Harry's nipples. It didn't leave him unaffected. He lowered his eyes to Harry's chest that was right in front of him. He hadn't really allowed himself to acknowledge the physically growth Harry had done. It was tempting to just reach out and touch him, to see what's underneath the clothes. Severus could feel himself getting hard. "Oh god!" Severus looked up in surprise as he heard the soft moan from Harry. Bright green eyes looked back at him. "This felt like you have been touching me," Harry said. "I'm sorry-" Severus shook his head. "Don't apologise for being sensitive, Harry. I'm aroused as well, very much so," he admitted while looking into the young man's eyes and seeing them widen in reaction to his words. Harry's next words though made Severus inhale sharply. "I'm so hard it aches." Severus curled his fingers into fists to keep himself from reaching out. He wished that the term was already over and that he would be free to take Harry right into his bedroom. But they were not quite there, not yet. Severus closed his eyes for a moment and then cleared his throat but his voice still sounded hoarse as he spoke. "I want you to know that it is very hard for me right now to not do what I would like to do, which would be to kiss you right through this chair and then see what comes next. Instead I will go back to my chair and pray that the last weeks will be over soon." Severus rose slowly and tore his eyes from Harry. He could feel the wetness on his skin and clothes from the pre cum leaking out of his cock. Once seated, he realised that his robe was not concealing the bulge in his trousers. "I think it's time for you to leave, Harry." Harry tilted his head. "And what will you do?" Severus chuckled. "You are too nosey for your own good. Not that it is any of your business but I think I might need to do some – softening here." ~ Harry lowered his eyes and looked at the swell in Snape's trousers. He would just love to kneel in front of Snape and take care of that softening business himself. He licked his lips unconsciously. "Yes, Harry. Having you on your knees in front of me while you are sucking my cock is definitely a very nice image. One I most certainly would like to see come true when the time has come." Hearing Snape's husky voice describe what he had just thought himself, made his own hard on twitch. Slowly he raised his eyes again to meet Snape's. "Was it so obvious what I was thinking, sir?" Snape nodded. "It was." Harry took a deep breath. "I think I better leave you now, sir. Otherwise I might just jump on top of you and…" He didn't finish the sentence and got to his feet. "I see you tomorrow, sir." * Harry changed his mind. Turning on his heels he headed back to where he had just come from. The door was still open and he went through into the room. The words to thank his mentor were already on his lips but then his eyes caught sight of said person, sitting in his chair with his legs spread. One long fingered hand was wrapped around a very hard looking cock. Harry stopped dead in his tracks not able to take his eyes away from the erotic picture. And even though he was stuttering apologies for interrupting and saying that he would leave right away, he didn't move – unlike the hand his eyes were fixed on. With slow but deliberate motions it was gliding up and down on the erect flesh. Snape told him to close the door if he wanted to watch never stopping his hand from stroking his member. Harry did as told and after being asked to get closer, did that as well. Snape seized him for a moment and then told him what he would have to do: Harry had to kneel in front of him, his (hard) cock unpacked for Snape to see and Harry was forbidden to touch himself while Snape was pleasuring himself. Mesmerised Harry followed the instructions. He took of his robe and threw it to the side carelessly. Slowly he went onto his knees now seeking Snape's eyes, which captured his. An approving sound came from the dark and sexy wizard and he told Harry how nice he looked down there on his knees. Blushing a little, Harry lowered his head. Then from underneath his fringe he glanced at Snape's lap where his hand was still moving up and down on his cock. Harry heard the low chuckle and looked up again. His mentor told him that there was no need to watch secretly. Harry lifted his head and fixed his eyes on the sexy picture of Snape pleasuring himself. The head of Snape's member was glistening with pre cum that he kept spreading over it. Harry's own cock was straining against the clothes, begging to be released. Without taking his eyes from what Snape was doing, Harry opened his trousers and shoved them down so that his prick could spring free. He then gathered his shirt and lifted it so that it would not cover his groin. He heard Snape inhale sharply and saw that the before steady rhythm had faltered. He looked up into Snape's face and found the wizard staring at him or more precisely at his dick. Snape told Harry that he should move his foreskin so that he would be able to see the glistening head of his cock. Harry, spread on his back in his bed, spilled himself all over his hand with the images still vivid in his thoughts and the sound of Snape's voice in his head. He coaxed every drop of seed out of his cock. After a while he cast a cleaning spell and turned on his side. With a smile he pulled the blankets around him. Now he would be able to fall asleep. tbc conservo = to preserve ***** Chapter 7 ***** The following weeks kept Harry on his toes. He had cancelled the weekend meetings with Snape, being afraid he might not be able to study enough for his N.E.W.T.s. He was determined to pass his tests, not willing to risk the possibility of being student here for another year. Finally the week of the exams arrived. The first one to take place was Potions, a fact he had surely hated two years ago. Now it felt like a good to start to sit in the dungeons with Snape in sight, even though he was there merely for observance and not for guidance. Harry took a deep breath and started with the theoretical part of the test. All the extra effort seemed to have been worth their while. With every question he could answer he grew more confident. After two hours they had a quick break and then the practical part of the test was due. They had to create "Dreamless Draught" and Harry started with a smile in his face that didn't falter until they were done and he had his flask on the desk. Together with Hermione and Neville he went up into the Great Hall to get a bite to eat. After that the days began to blur into each other. Harry was heading up and down the floors and corridors, running from one test to the other. The only one he was really aware of was DADA, which happened to be the last one. Like two years ago when Harry had taken his O.W.L.s, the examiner asked him to perform a Patronus to receive extra points. Harry looked over at his classmates and frowned. "Will the others be asked as well so that they can get extra points?" The examiner smiled at him. "Well, Mr Potter, surely you understand that I can't ask everybody. I am making an exception here." "I don't want you to make an exception. Everybody knows that I can perform a Patronus it's been all over the bloody papers! I know for a fact that there are several other people in this room who can do it. And no, I don't understand why you can't ask them as well." Harry hadn't noticed that he had gotten louder with every word. The room was very quiet and everyone was looking at him. "I assume I'm done, sir?" He didn't wait for an answer, turned on his heal and stormed out. Harry was so tired of being treated differently it left him feeling irritated. It was not fair that he should be able to get some extra points while others didn't get the chance. Still deep in his thoughts he rushed around a corner and crashed into the solid form of his teacher and mentor. The impact left them both struggling for balance and Snape had his hands around Harry's arms. As both of them were standing firmly again, Snape took his hands back. "Sorry, Professor," Harry mumbled. "That doesn't seem to be the appropriate mood for just having had the last exam. Did something happen, Harry?" Snape asked looking enquiringly at him. Harry sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Want to take a walk outside with me?" Harry tilted his head. "I know that might sound weird but somehow I had the impression that you would hardly leave the castle." He shook his head. That really was a stupid thought. "Yes, I would like that," he answered. "I do indeed spend more time inside the walls of Hogwarts. But once in a while even I do need fresh air. Especially after some two-years have managed to drop dungbombs in the dungeons." "Yuck!" For some strange reasons smell wasn't so easily come by with magic as dirt. "I bet anything that those particular students have seen Professor Snape at his best." "Certainly, Mr Potter. It was an excellent way to polish my reputation, which has suffered so greatly that rumours have been spread about me laughing while I'm amongst students. Can you believe it?" "No, Professor. This is too much of a stretch for my imagination, sir." Snape snorted. "Rumours say that there had been Gryffindors in this very same room when I was supposedly laughing. Now that is just absurd!" "Absolutely!" Harry slowly started to smile. The banter with Snape lifted his mood. "Did I really laugh?" Snape asked quietly. "As a matter of fact you did. Everyone was staring at you as if you had suddenly grown a second head." "This is bad. Very bad." Snape sighed loudly. "But enough of me and my reputation. What happened?" They were outside now and turned towards the lake. Harry told Snape about the incident with the examiner and how unfair he thought it was. "I hope he doesn't fail me because of me yelling at him." Snape glanced briefly at Harry. "Nobody would take him serious if he would fail you, Harry. You are the one who destroyed Voldemort. Do you think he could really fail you?" Harry shook his head. "It probably wouldn't be a smart move." "It wouldn't be. And in a way you used your fame to let him know that he is a toady. Which is not the worst way to be a celebrity mind you." Harry grinned. "You mean as long as I don't act like Lockhart?" Snape looked at Harry. "I don't even know how to describe him without wasting too many words." Harry thought for a moment. "How about narcistic shell of nothing?" Snape arched an eyebrow. "Not bad for a starter. But let's not waste our time over Lockhart." They walked in silence for a while. Harry noticed the looks the two of them were getting when they came across other students. "Professor, do you actually notice the amount of interested glances we get because you are seen with me?" "Maybe people are wondering why the famous saviour of the wizarding world hangs out with the hateful Potions teacher. They probably believe you could do much better then that." Harry snorted. "I don't give a shit what they think." Snape looked at him. "Language, Potter," he said but winked at him before he looked ahead again. "But I'm glad you don't." Harry smiled. They turned back towards the castle and Snape asked Harry what he would be doing with his free time until the end of the term next week. Harry sighed. "I should decide what I am going to do with my life. I don't want to be an Auror anymore. I've had enough of that to last a lifetime." Snape nodded beside him. "I don't blame you." "Well, but I have no clue what to do. The only thing I was ever good in was DADA." "I've heard you've improved in other classes as well after the war. Just look at how much better you've gotten with Potions now that you can concentrate on it instead of either getting into trouble or worrying your head of." Harry laughed. "I did not get into trouble on purpose." Snape snorted with laughter but didn't say anything. "Maybe I should start with what I don't want to do. Which would be Divination-" Another snort from the tall wizard beside him made Harry grin. "And I definitely don't want to get any deeper into History of Magic. That is just so boring everybody falls asleep in Professor Binns' class." Now Snape chuckled. "Let me assure you that you haven't been the first and will not be the last who happens to doze of in his class." "Only Hermione had the amazing ability to stay awake and take notes. But then again she's brilliant in everything. She's just so smart. I envy her sometimes. She has every possibility and can do whatever she wants. And Neville will become a Healer." Harry sighed. "And he will be a good one now that he's grown some backbone. But why aren't you taking your Master in DADA? Seems like a logical solution to me." Harry looked thoughtfully at Snape for a moment. That thought had never crossed his mind. As a matter of fact, there hadn't been many thoughts at all about his future before Voldemort had been dead. "That might be a good idea." Harry smiled at Snape. Even though he wasn't sure what he would do afterwards, he would have two years to think about it while being a trainee. They had nearly reached the castle as Hermione came towards them. ~ Severus watched the young witch approach. He was surprised that she turned to him after she had greeted them both. "Professor, could I have a word please?" "Certainly, Miss Granger." "I better be of then. See you later," Harry said and left them. Severus looked after him for a moment then he turned his attention towards one of Harry's best friends. She seemed to be a little nervous and he began wondering what she had on her mind. "What can I do for you, Miss Granger?" "I was… well, no…" She took a deep breath. "I wanted to know if you think that I stand a chance in becoming a Potion Mistress, sir," she finally managed to say with pink dusted cheeks. Severus tilted his head in surprise. Those were quite astonishing news. He had had no idea that Granger liked Potions that much. "I don't see why not. Your skills are adequate if that is what you want to know," Severus replied. "I am rather curious about your choice, however. I've never had the impression that the art of potion making is that much to your liking." The young witch's cheeks turned a shade darker but she hold his gaze nevertheless. "Well, Professor, to be quite blunt: you've never given anyone the chance to like it before." Severus chuckled. "Pray tell, are you saying that I might possibly have scared of some genius potion maker?" Granger looked him square in the eyes. "I don't know about genius but I'm sure that you have drowned a lot of curiosity and interest. You have changed, Professor." Ruddy Gryffindor bravery, Severus thought and decided to change the subject. "So tell me, where will you go? Monsieur Dumont in France would be a good place, or Zubertrank* in Germany." Granger lowered her eyes and was now talking to Severus' chest. "Well, you know I always go for the best. And I was wondering, if… well, if you could, or would… I mean would you take me in as an apprentice? I mean, I would understand if you didn't. But I thought I could at least ask. It's not hurting to ask, is it? That's what I thought. And that's why I asked. Maybe I got carried away with my idea. Well, thank you for your time. I better get going now." She stopped sputtering, turned on her heels and stalked away before Severus even had the chance to say anything. Not that he had understood everything she had said. Had she really been asking if she could become his trainee? "Miss Granger?" The young witch stopped. Severus crossed his arms in front of him. Granger slowly turned back around but didn't look at him. "Correct me if I am wrong, but I just had the bizarre impression that you asked me to become your tutor. Is that accurate?" He gazed at the witch with narrowed eyes. She simply nodded. Severus stared at her for several moments taking the information in. It didn't happen often in his life that he was speechless but that certainly was one of these moments. "Why?" Finally Granger looked up with a frown. "I thought that's actually quite obvious," she said. "I'm getting called the smartest witch my age and you are the best I could get to teach me. Don't you think that's reason enough?" Severus arched an eyebrow. "I'm sure you're aware of the reputation you might gain if I accept your application." Severus' second eyebrow joined the other at the hairline as Granger started to laugh. "Sir, with all due respect, but I kind of stopped worrying about my reputation after my first year here. I was and still am best friend with Harry Potter. Maybe you remember that he's famous for getting into trouble and breaking rules?" Severus snorted. Was he ever? But that wasn't the topic at hand here, was it? Severus looked thoughtfully at the young witch. It should be possible to set up smaller lap close to his office where she could work. He would have to talk with the Headmistress about it. "You are aware of me being a teacher at Hogwarts, which means that your summer holidays will be at the same time as the school holidays. I expect you in my office on the day the new school year starts. You'll receive further details by owl. Now, if you will excuse me I have matters to attend to." Severus gave a curt nod and strode off, wondering what he had gotten himself into.   * It was close to dinner and most of the Gryffindors were gathered in the common room chatting happily. Suddenly the door burst open and Hermione came in, running towards Harry and Ron after she had spotted them sitting in a corner. "I can't believe it, he said yes!" She panted out of breath. "He really said yes!" She fell into one of the chairs. Harry furrowed his brows and looked to Ron. He had no idea what Hermione was talking about. Ron apparently did. He looked gobsmacked at his girlfriend with his mouth gaping. "You are joking, right?" Ron asked her. But Hermione shook her head. "No, I'm not. I'm dead serious." She grinned. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe it. I was so sure he would refuse." Harry asked whom they were talking about but neither Hermione nor Ron paid any attention to him. "You must have misunderstood him," Ron said feebly. "This can't be." "You better get used to it, Ronald Weasley, because I'll start with the new term. He'll owl me the details." "Hermione, what will you start and who is he?" Harry wanted to know. "What's going on?" But his questions were ignored as Neville and Ginny came to join them. Ginny looked closely at Hermione and started to grin. "Blimey! He said yes?" The youngest Weasley offspring asked. Hermione just nodded with a huge grin that might make her head split if she kept it up for much longer. "That's just great! Congratulations!" Ginny bent down to hug her friend. That was enough. "Would anyone care to explain what you are all so excited about?" Harry asked loudly. Finally Neville took pity and turned to Harry. "Snape is taking her in as an apprentice." Now Harry understood why everyone seemed to be so flabbergasted. "Wow, that's a first. Congrats!" He grinned broadly even forgetting to be miffed because everybody except him seemed to have known that she had wanted to ask their professor. "This must be a bad joke," Ron said. "Even if he would take somebody in he certainly wouldn't choose a Gryffindor. Snape hates Gryffindors." "He doesn't hate us," Neville said. "Or at least not anymore. And who knows, he might actually have had reasons for it." "I have the feeling that's something from the past." Harry agreed with Neville and then looked at Hermione. "I'm happy for you. I'm sure you'll learn a hell of a lot more."   * The next couple of days went by and Harry stayed away from Snape but he had written him a short note saying that he was afraid of not being able to restrain himself from bouncing on him. It was only a matter of hours before he received a short answer: Harry, Thank you for letting me know why you avoid me. I assume it means that you haven't changed your mind and still consider me to teach you in a more practical way as well? Best regards Severus Snape Harry blinked a few times. Snape must be joking. Harry grabbed his bag and searched for the quill and some ink. He quickly jotted: Changed my mind? Are you kidding? I'm dying to kiss you senseless and then some! Severus snorted softly as he read Harry's answer. It was blunt and without any sign of subtlety. It was so Gryffindor. It was… Harry. Severus sighed and leaned back in his chair, still holding the ripped-off piece of parchment in his hand. His eyes moved once more over the two simple lines. It was blunt, no doubt about it, but it had an impact nevertheless. He had no idea where this would lead to; well honestly, he didn't even really know how it had come so far in the first place. Hadn't he been quite happy only four months ago? Hadn't his life been in order, neat and uncomplicated the last year? Granted, his life had also become rather dull, but that had been an appreciated change compared to his life as a spy. This was certainly not something he would want to have back. But why he had let Harry in his life as much as he had, he still didn't know. Harry Potter stands as a synonym for chaos. Maybe Severus' life had become a tad too boring? If it hadn't been for Harry's interest in BDSM Severus would have continued to act indifferent towards the young wizard. But back then when Severus himself had been looking for someone to teach him, he had been grateful for his mentor. He knew he had been very lucky to find a person who had the knowledge and patience to teach someone like him. Severus smiled softly as he remembered his mentor. He had sworn to himself that if someone would approach him that he would try and be as good a mentor as the one he once had had. Severus enjoyed teaching Harry. He was not only interested but also alert. And Severus actually enjoyed the more private conversations (if talking about BDSM and sexuality isn't private enough that is) and Harry's company. He had been looking forward to their meetings and curious to find out more about the young wizard. Severus sighed. After all those years of hatred they both had grown to respect each other and they had seen that neither of them had been what the other had believed him to be. Then they had found that they had a common interest (besides getting rid of Voldemort), which had lead to some kind of understanding. From there it had gone downhill, now he liked the insolent brat. And – even worse – he desired him. Severus wondered how it would feel to have Harry's lithe body against his own, skin on skin, or underneath him. He thought about how it would be when Harry moaned with Severus actually doing something to draw that sound from his lips. Severus could feel his body react – once again. He hadn't pleasured himself as often in the last years as he had in the last few weeks. He sighed and looked at his calendar. How many days were left? Severus shook his head. Instead of sitting around and doing nothing (except waiting) he could just as well go and do something useful like for an instance refresh his ability with the flogger. tbc *Zubertrank: Zuber = tub + Trank = drink/potion ***** Chapter 8 ***** Chapter Notes This is a chapter I really had a lot of fun with. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. OOC-ness is an additional warning here (as it probably is for the whole story now that I mention it). At long last the day of the feast to end the term had arrived. One after the other the seventh years gathered in the common room and together they went down into the Great Hall. It was decorated in red and gold as Gryffindor had once again won the House Cup (only by some twenty points though). Most of the students were already seated. Harry has just taken his seat as Snape entered. He was wearing his tailored and snug fitted robe today and he looked very handsome in it. As a matter of fact he looked so good that Harry had to rub his hands on his robe after watching him stride through the hall. He sighed and returned his attention back to the others around him. Unlike Dumbledore, McGonagall preferred to do the official stuff before the meal. So at first she said a few words and after that the Head Boy (from Ravenclaw) and Head Girl had their go. Usually that was really dreary and Harry played with his goblet unless he had to clap. Hermione, as Head Girl, was the last one to speak. She started of with her and her classmates being grateful for having had the opportunity to study at Hogwarts and learn as much as they had. Harry tried to stifle a yawn. "But we did not only learn about the History of Magic or Ancient Runes, we learned a lot about life itself. Unfortunate events have taught us that life is not as simple as we think and not everything is simply black or white." Harry looked at Ron but his mate only shrugged his shoulder. "I have no idea," he mouthed. Harry looked up to where Hermione was standing. "... and we Gryffindors do not only stand for bravery, we also believe in justice. Therefore we think it is unjust and not right to judge someone for the wrong choices he or she has made nearly two decades ago. We all make mistakes in our life." Harry turned his head quickly to Snape who was staring at Hermione. He probably thought the same as Harry did: that Hermione was talking about the teacher. "For that reason the students of the House of Gryffindor believe that Professor Snape should be judged upon what he is: a brave man who has done good deeds and helped the wizarding world to become a much more peaceful place. Thank you." With that Hermione left her place and headed back to the Gryffindor table. For a few moments it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Professor McGonagall had a hand clasped over her face and Snape was still staring at Hermione. Harry looked at Neville and lifted his hands to clap loudly. Neville chimed in, as did Hermione when she had reached the table. Harry looked at the staff table. Professor McGonagall was just getting up and turning towards Snape, clapping fervently. One by one was following suit, first of all the Gryffindors who were soon even hooting and yelling. ~ Severus couldn't believe his eyes. He wasn't surprised to find most of the Slytherins standing on their benches; it was his House after all. But even the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were applauding, not as enthusiastic as the Slytherins or Gryffindors, though. He didn't know what to say. Once again he was speechless (and once again because of a ruddy Gryffindor!). He turned his head towards Minerva in astonishment. The witch just beamed at him and he thought she had even tears in her eyes. Finally the students settled down again and Severus sighed in relieve. Maybe they could move to more enjoyable topics now. "I am delighted beyond measurement about the words of the Gryffindors," the Headmistress addressed everyone and Severus looked sceptically at her. "And it is not only because it's my former House. It is because it really is time that every witch and every wizard recognises what Severus Snape has done for all of us." Minerva turned towards Severus. "I know you will hate me for this, Severus, but I'm sure eventually you'll get over it." Laughter erupted from the students right at the front who had heard the Headmistress. Severus shot them a murderous glance before he turned back to Minerva. "Don't bet your life on it," he snarled. But the witch only smiled brightly as she turned her head to the students. Severus sighed defeated and shook his head. Gone was his evil reputation, tattered to pieces. "I agree with Miss Granger that the wizarding world should finally acknowledge the fact that Severus Snape has risked his own life on many occasions to help us all to win the war against Voldemort." As usual at the sound of the name there were some gasps. "And if there is still someone out there who is convinced that Professor Snape has murdered Albus Dumbledore, so let me assure you once and for all that he did not willingly follow the plea from our former Headmaster. Severus Snape was asked by Dumbledore himself to safe him from suffering the consequences of an incurable intoxication." Severus arched an eyebrow and nearly snorted. Plea my eye! Order was more like it. His thoughts went back to the discussion he had had with Dumbledore regarding his approaching death. He had tried to convince the elder wizard to take a potion. But Dumbledore had been stubborn and calmly said that there would be another excellent way which would strengthen his cover as a spy. And he had been right about it. Severus sighed. The manipulating old bastard had been right so many times. Severus came out of his reverie as the room exploded with applause once more. He looked to Minerva who was smiling down at him. Was he expected to say something? Surely not. What could someone say after this? "Thank you." ~ Harry grinned brightly. "That look on Snape's face is priceless," he whispered to Hermione. "I bet anything he's never felt so weird in his life." She snickered. "I guess it's quite a sudden change from being the most hated teacher at school to being a praised hero." After everyone was settled again it was time for the seventh years to receive their diploma. The teachers were now standing in a row and the Headmistress called out every student. Finally it was Harry's turn and he went up to Professor McGonagall. She handed him his diploma with the best wishes for his future. He then had to pass every teacher and shake hands until he reached Snape who was the last in the line. "Congratulation, Mr Potter," Snape said and hold out his hand. Harry took the offered hand and a pleasant shiver ran down his spine. He cleared his throat twice before he could reply. "Thank you, sir." It took Harry some effort to let go of Snape's hand and he could feel the same resistance from the older wizard. But slowly they pulled their hands apart, fingers sliding against each other like soft caresses and a promise for more. Harry's heart thumped heavy in his chest as he stalked back to his place. ~ Hermione Granger was the last student to come up as she had earned herself an award for her outstanding exam. Severus watched her slowly making her way towards him. As she stood before him he simply looked at her for several moments. "Flattery won't get you anywhere in your training, Miss Granger," he said. He could feel his lip curl into a tiny smile and didn't try to smother it. "Well, since you are so worried about my reputation I had do to something," the young witch replied smugly. Severus chuckled for a moment. "Thank you," he then said sincerely, offering her his hand. Granger took his hand and smiled. "My pleasure, Professor." ~ Dinner was served at last. It was way past the usual eating time and everyone was starving. Students and teacher alike helped themselves and soon the sound of cutlery and the buzz of conversation filled the hall. An hour later Harry was pleasantly filled up. The tables were cleared and afterwards changed so that there were no longer the four long table but smaller ones scattered all through the hall. Even the teacher had come down from the raised platform. There was an area for a dance floor in the front of the room and music was playing (not too loudly though). It was close to midnight as Harry spotted the Headmistress on her own and he hurried over to her. "May I ask you a rather weird question, Professor?" "I hope it's not too weird, Mr Potter. What is it?" "Am I still a student of Hogwarts?" The Headmistress smiled at him and shook her head. "Since you have received your diploma I would say you are not officially a student anymore." She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it slightly. "Good luck to both of you." "Thank you, Professor." McGonagall left him and Harry went back to the others all the while turning his head from left to right to see if he could see Snape somewhere. He approached Hermione with a grin. "Guess what? I'm no longer officially a student." Hermione turned to face him grinning broadly as well. "That's great, Harry!" "Have you seen Snape somewhere?" Harry wanted to know while his eyes scanned the room. "Harry?" Harry hadn't really paid attention to his friend and he did not see the look from her in his attempt to make out the form of his previous teacher. "Now that I'm finally able to do what I want, I can't find him." "Harry!" "I want to know how it is to kiss the sexy bastard," Harry said, not even aware of talking out loud in his increasing impatience. "I believe you are looking for someone, Potter." Harry froze. He swallowed and then his eyes darted to Hermione who was looking at someone over his shoulder. "It's not him standing behind me, is it?" He asked Hermione almost pleadingly even though he knew very well that it was Snape. He would recognise that voice out of a million others. Hermione just nodded. "Bugger!" He muttered. He took a deep breath and slowly turned around to face the dark haired wizard. Snape had his arms crossed in front of him and looked at Harry with an unreadable expression. "Actually I am looking for you," he said quietly, taking a step forward. With one trembling hand he reached out and touched Snape's face softly. "I can't believe I'm able to touch you at last," he whispered. Snape lowered his arms and Harry moved closer to him. He tipped his head back a little so he could look into those incredible eyes. It was the first time he noticed that they weren't really black but had the colour of dark brown velvet. Strong arms moved around him and pulled him into a tight embrace. "Are you going to merely stare at me, Potter, or are you going to kiss me as you have just announced in front of your classmates?" Snape wanted to know tauntingly. "And you are hopefully aware that I am going to kill you afterwards because of the humiliation you have caused me?" Harry snickered regardless of the heat that was creeping into his head. "That's not quite what I had in mind when I wrote that I'd die to kiss you." Snape tilted his head. "Well?" "Are you in a hurry, Professor?" Snape chuckled softly. "Since we're already down to you calling me sexy bastard, I do believe it is appropriate to call me Severus now," he said. "And no, I'm not in a hurry. But I do admit that I'm rather curious to feel your lips on mine." Harry gasped and his eyes darted down Severus' mouth. He moved his hand from Severus' jaw to his neck and pulled him down softly until he could brush his lips lightly against Severus'. He felt the warmth of the other man's lips and the soft texture of them as their lips kept touching lightly. Harry's skin was covered in goosebumps from this sensual contact. He pressed his lips against Severus' and opened them lightly as an unspoken invitation. Severus didn't hesitate for long. Just a heartbeat later Harry could feel the tip of Severus' tongue on his lips. A bolt of lightning shot through Harry as he felt that and he couldn't withhold a surprised gasp causing him to back off a little. But he was right back at those waiting lips, eager for more. All of a sudden hell broke loose around Harry and Severus. People where hooting and clapping and you could even hear catcalls. Harry moaned and buried his face against Severus' shoulder. He wrapped his arms around the other man. Tilting his head a little he whispered: "Please get me out of here, Severus." Severus snorted. "I'm afraid that might take a while. Your classmates are inclined to give us a hard time escaping." Harry frowned and turned around in Severus' arms to see what he was talking about. Hermione, Neville and Ginny were standing right in front of them, laughing and clapping loudly. Most of the other Gryffindors were gathered as well. Even Ron was there although he was staring at them with a shocked expression on his face. At least he wasn't attacking either of them, Harry thought, and gave him a small smile. "All the best for you two," Hermione said. Harry turned his face back to her and saw that she had tears in her eyes. "Thank you, Miss Granger. Even though I have to admit that I am a little surprised. You all are behaving like Harry and I had just given our vows to each other," Severus drawled. Hermione shrugged her shoulders, still beaming. "It looked so sweet and happy I just felt like saying it." "What a shame that you won't remember it tomorrow after I've oblivated you," Severus said smugly. "I can't have students think I'm sweet and happy, can I?" Harry nearly toppled over with laughter as he saw the shocked faces of his classmates. Everyone except a grinning Hermione and a chuckling Neville had stepped back. "Precisely the space we needed," Severus whispered into Harry's ear. "Let's move." The older wizard let go of Harry and took his hand instead. Harry stepped forward but Severus hesitated for a moment, turning back to Hermione. "And don't wait for Mr Potter tomorrow. I tend to keep him busy for a couple of days." Harry blushed furiously but also couldn't keep himself from grinning sheepishly as he followed Severus. tbc ***** Chapter 9 ***** Chapter Notes Sorry, I'm a day late. I hope you'll forgive me and enjoy the next part anyway. They hadn't talked all the way down to Severus' chambers. Harry stood in front of the fire but gazed at Severus while the older wizard closed the door and warded it. "Did I ever tell you that those robes suit you much better then anything else I've seen you in?" Severus smiled. "No, you haven't." "Well, they do. You look dashing, very handsome." "Thank you." Harry lowered his eyes. All of a sudden he felt nervous and shy. He didn't know what to do with his hands and started fidgeting with the seam of his robes. "Is something wrong, Harry?" Severus wanted to know, now standing in front of him. Harry was just about to shake his head but he thought better of it and shrugged his shoulder. "I... I feel a little weird right now," he answered not looking at Severus. "I don't know what you expect, you know." Harry saw Severus' feet move closer and then a hand rise. Severus lifted his chin and Harry looked up. "All the Gryffindor bravery already gone?" He asked teasingly which made Harry smile. "I don't expect anything, Harry. But I do want to be close to you though. I want to feel you now that I'm able to." Those words and the soft smile helped Harry to relax. "I'd like that," he admitted. Severus took Harry's hand and led him to the couch. He sat down and pulled Harry down on his lap. With a deep sigh Harry made himself comfortable in the warm embrace of Severus' arms. He could feel Severus' fingers move, stroking him gently. Silently they sat there, both content to have the other close. Harry realised that he had never been held like this before. Severus sighed and Harry lifted his head. "Am I getting to heavy?" He wanted to know, already starting to move. But Severus didn't let him go. "No," came the quiet reply. "I was sighing because it feels good to have you here – in my room, in my arms, to be able to hold you," Severus said in a low voice his eyes glowing with warmth. Harry sighed as well and nodded with a soft smile. "I agree." Harry watched how Severus' mouth moved into this tiny smile. He lifted his hand and with one finger the softly touched the corner of Severus' mouth. "I've really grown to love this smile." ~ Severus inhaled sharply as Harry moved his fingertip from the corner of his mouth across his lips. "I didn't think your lips would feel so soft, Severus," the young wizard whispered. Severus didn't answer and didn't move. He just felt the tentative touch of Harry's fingers and sighed softly. Harry took his hand away and moved. "Need to change position," he said apologetically and straddled Severus' lap, facing him. Harry lifted his hand again and began to explore Severus' face with his fingers, starting this time at his jaw line. Severus gazed at Harry who was following his fingers' path with his eyes. He couldn't remember being touched so tenderly and could feel his heart beat faster as Harry caressed every inch of his face. Then Harry's finger returned to from where they had started before. Gingerly one of the fingers touched his lip and Severus had to hold back a moan. He saw that Harry had caught his lower lip between his teeth. Severus opened his mouth slightly and with the tip of his tongue touched Harry's finger. Harry gasped and jumped surprised as if the contact had given him an electrical shock. With wide eyes he looked into Severus'. Then his finger came back as if asking for more. Severus let his tongue slide out to caress Harry's finger. He reached up with one hand and took Harry's in his own. He turned it slightly and licked the whole length of Harry's finger. "Oh, gosh, Severus!" Severus looked up into Harry's wide eyes. "Like it?" He asked before he returned his attention back to the wet finger. "Maybe you'll like that as well." Carefully he caught the tip of it between his teeth. Once more he looked up and watched Harry's eyes grew even wider as he slowly pushed the finger into his mouth. The young wizard hissed and moved on top of him. Severus felt his cock stir and started to suck on the finger. ~ This was just so incredible hot Harry couldn't believe it. He felt Severus' warm and wet mouth closed around his finger, his tongue pressing against it as he sucked on it. If it felt already that great on his finger he didn't dare to imagine how it would feel on his cock. He didn't know if he moaned because of the thought or because of what was really happening – not that he cared. Harry slid forward and felt Severus' hard cock pressing against his own hard on, causing them both to moan in unison. Harry opened his eyes. He pulled his finger out of Severus' mouth and bent down to kiss him fiercely, his tongue darting out and between the older wizards lips. Blindly Harry searched for the buttons on Severus' robe. He wanted to feel his skin under his fingers. After the first rush and Harry dominating the kiss, Severus taught him to wait expectantly by retreating and pulling back every time Harry was to pushy. And after a while Harry knew to just await the sensual exploration of the older wizard's tongue. Eventually the need for air was so great that Harry had to break the kiss and breath properly. Severus' chest was heaving just as hard as Harry's. "If I'm not getting out of some of these clothes I'm going to have a heatstroke," Harry panted. He reached for the clamp of his robes and opened it. He then pulled the heavy fabric from his shoulder and threw it on the floor. The tie followed suit only a moment later. Severus stopped him as he was just reaching for the buttons on his shirt. ~ "I'm going to do that," Severus said and pulled Harry's shirt out of the trousers. He opened one button after the other and then pushed the fabric over Harry's shoulder, down his arms and let it fall to the floor. Severus looked up into Harry's eyes as he reached out to touch the now bared skin. He caressed the young wizard's chest, drew lines with his fingers and stroke every inch of skin he could reach – except the nipples. Harry watched him with hooded eyes, his lips were parted slightly and he moaned softly, leaning into Severus' touch so much that soon Severus had trouble to move his hands at all. "Lean back, Harry," he said. The young man did as told and put his hands behind him on Severus' thighs. As Harry let his head fall back as well, Severus made an appreciative sound. "That is one scrumptious sight!" He said and continued stroking Harry's chest, his sides and shoulders. "Oh Lord! Please, Severus!" Harry begged. Not even thinking about hiding his grin, Severus looked up. "Please what?" "Something… anything…" Harry panted. "I don't know." Severus chuckled and then his gaze fell back onto Harry's chest again. Moving both his hands upwards and over the tight nubs he started to tease the nipples with his palms. Severus had expected Harry to react to the touch but he had not expected him to shoot up straight with a loud groan, pushing his hips against him almost violently. Harry's eyes were wide and the pupils dilated. "Lord, yes!" Harry put his hands lightly on top of Severus' as if to keep him from stopping. "I guess someone likes that," Severus stated teasingly. With his thumbs he played with the nipples. Again Harry's hips jerked forward. "Hmm, so sensitive, I love it." Playfully Severus took the erect nub between thumbs and fingers, looking up into Harry's face. His eyes had (impossible as it seemed) become even wider. "Please?" The young man whispered. "Please what, Harry?" Severus asked, knowing very well what he wanted. He wanted to hear it and he wanted Harry to speak it out loud. Severus moved his fingers slightly, sending more sensations through Harry. Harry swallowed and took his hands, which were still covering Severus' and placed them on his shoulders instead. "Please pinch them." A shudder of excitement ran through Severus as he heard the whispered plea. He softly squeezed his fingers together and after a moment released them again. Harry moaned quietly. Again Severus pinched the nipples lightly and loosened his grip after a moment. Slowly he built up a rhythm of squeezing and releasing, alternating the strength of the pinches and in between just caressing them softly. Severus felt his own hard cock leaking with pre cum. It had been a long time since he had been together with anyone. On top of that he had a very desirable young man sitting on his lap who was babbling incoherent strings of yes!'s and Lord!'s and please!'s while his movements seemed to get out of control; his hips jerking against Severus. "I wonder if I could make you come like this," Severus mused. Harry opened his eyes and looked at him with desire-clouded eyes. "Do… you… want me… to?" "I'd love that," Severus replied and once more he took the sensitive nipples between his fingers and pinched them. Harry moaned deeply and rocked his hips back and forth. Severus added more pressure all the while watching the emotions running over Harry's face. "Come for me, Harry!" Harry's fingers dug into Severus' shoulders, his hips thrusting against Severus in earnest and without control. Closing his eyes, Harry opened his mouth in a silent cry. Severus released the nipples, rubbed them tenderly and after a moment Harry sank forward against his chest. Severus wrapped his arms around Harry and just held him. ~ It was such a relief. Not only physically but also emotionally and Harry couldn't hold back the tears that stung in his eyes. He slung his arms around Severus' neck and cried silently into his shoulder. He could hear Severus' soothing voice but he could not make out the words and it wasn't important either. It was enough that the older wizard was there. After a while Harry took a deep breath and after lifting his head from Severus' shoulder he wiped his face with one hand. "Better?" Severus wanted to know. Harry nodded then he drew another deep breath. "I'm sorry," he whispered. Severus moved his head and looked at Harry with a frown. "What are you sorry for? Because you cried?" Nodding again Harry said: "I've spoiled it for you." He felt ashamed that he had had all the fun and had then cried like a child. "You didn't spoil anything at all, Harry. I told you I'd like you to come for me." Harry blushed and turned his head a little to avoid Severus' gaze. "No, not that. But you…" "You mean because I didn't orgasm?" Harry simply nodded still not daring to meet Severus' eyes. "Harry, look at me." Slowly Harry turned his head and looked into the depth of Severus' dark eyes, which were looking back at him with sincerity. "You did not spoil it at all. Don't you realise what a gift you're handing me with giving yourself to me like this?" Harry blinked surprised. Was that how it felt for Severus? "A gift?" Severus nodded and smiled softly. "Yes, a gift, a very precious one at that. And receiving that is just as good as an orgasm, it just has another quality to it." Still not quite convinced Harry frowned. "But I could feel how hard you were." Severus laughed softly. "And I will be hard again, don't you worry. But right now I am completely satisfied," Severus said. "And besides, you don't have to spill your seed to have an orgasm. That's a myth," he added. Harry couldn't help it and snickered. "Now I'm even getting sexual education." "I'm a teacher after all, what can I say?" Severus replied smugly. Harry sighed with contend and Severus moved underneath him. "As much as I love having you in my lap, I do need to move. And I need to visit the bathroom even more." Harry nodded and lifted his leg causing the muscles to protest painfully. "Oww!" Severus grinned wickedly. "I have been wondering how long you could stay like this." Harry groaned and laughed at the same time as he got off Severus' lap rather clumsily and he was still snickering when Severus left for the bathroom. Sprawled comfortable on the couch with his legs stretched out he became aware of the dankness in his groin. Since he hadn't any fresh clothes with him, Harry cast a quick spell. That had to be enough for now. He put his head back, sighed and a smile curled around the corner of his mouth. "One Knut for your thoughts." Harry looked up and saw Severus standing at the door smiling at him. "I'll let you know if you come a little closer." He watched the dark haired wizard approach and grinned as he saw the disarranged buttons of Severus' robe. "The next time I should either concentrate on kissing you or on opening the buttons. Both together doesn't go very well." Severus looked down at himself and laughed softly. "That happens if you get distracted." He then asked Harry to move a little so that he could sit down and have Harry's head on his thigh. They sat quietly for a moment, Severus playing with Harry's hair with one hand. Finally Harry spoke softly and told Severus how good and right it felt to be with him. That he had felt relieved in any sense. Severus moved his arm to caress Harry's face and accidentally brushed Harry's nipple. Harry gasped at the sudden contact. Chuckling softly, Severus asked if they were a little sensitive. Harry nodded. "They are." He closed his eyes for a moment focusing on the sensation ebbing away. Then he spoke again: "It felt good being hurt by you, Severus," he admitted. Severus merely took Harry's hand and squeezed it lightly. tbc ***** Chapter 10 ***** They had moved into the bedroom and after Severus had banished their clothes, they stood facing each other in front of the four-poster bed. Harry's eyes moved from Severus' face down the pale skin of his throat, to his broad shoulders and then to his scarred chest, and he realised that Severus was standing in front of him literally striped down without a thread of fabric to cover the evidence of the live he had lived. There were signs on Severus' body that must remind him daily of the choices he had made almost twenty years ago: The scars he had received as a Death Eater and then during his work for the Light; and then there was the Dark Mark, which had faded but was still clearly visible on Severus' left forearm. Awe flooded Harry, as he sensed that the tables had turned and for a change he wasn't the vulnerable one. "I'm not quite the sexy bastard you thought I am." Confused by the sound of Severus' voice, Harry looked up and was shocked to see the guarded look in the older wizard's face and a part of Harry marvelled at the steely composure the man in front of him must have, to stand naked as he was and the only sign of precariousness that Severus showed was the mask of indifference. With a smile Harry reached out and placed his hand on Severus' chest. "Yes, you are," Harry said. He then noticed Severus narrowing his eyes and knew this look immediately, he had been on the receiving end of it many times before: Severus trying to find out if he was telling the truth. "And that disapproving look-" "Wasn't what you thought it was," Harry cut Severus off in mid-sentence. "I saw the scars and was-" "I don't need your pity, Potter," Severus snarled, crossing his arms in front of him, brushing Harry's hand away. "That's good then, because that's not what I had in mind of giving you," Harry snapped back, his temper flaring up caused by the rejection. "Now if you have a problem with compassion and understanding… I've been there, remember? I know how it feels to have Voldemort use you for his entertainment. And I know how it feels to be marked by him." Harry lifted his hand up so that Severus could see the scar on his left hand. "And Umbridge wasn't just a walk in the park either," he added now crossing his arms as well while he glared at the man in front of him. It was a silent battle between the two that went on for what felt like hours to Harry, the tension almost palpable but he didn't budge. Finally Severus lowered his arms. "I'm sorry, Harry," he simply said. "Where is Severus Snape and what have you done to him?" With some kind of satisfaction Harry witnessed the moment of confusion in Severus' face before he arched his eyebrow. "What are you talking about?" "You apologised," Harry said. Severus narrowed his eyes again but before he could say anything, Harry lowered his arms as well and looked sincerely at the older wizard. "Can we just start over again from when you took our clothes off?" Much to Harry's surprise Severus shook his head. But he reached out and Harry was pulled into an embrace that brought him skin to skin with the dark haired wizard for the first time. Harry could smell different spices on Severus' skin and inhaled deeply. "No," Severus said quietly beside Harry's head. "I'd rather not go through this again." Once again it was more a feeling then an intellectual knowledge of the whole meaning of Severus' words. Harry didn't know how to answer that and thought that maybe there where other things that he could do instead. Tilting his head Harry kissed Severus softly onto the juncture between shoulder and neck, while his hands roamed Severus broad back, mapping every inch of skin he could reach. Harry felt the muscles underneath his palms as he moved them up and down and from side to side, steadily sliding a little lower with every stroke until he let them glide onto the firm globes of Severus' buttocks. Harry heard the intake of breath and grew a little bolder, giving the muscles a squeeze before he pulled Severus closer. At the same time he pushed his pelvis forward, bringing their groins together. Harry didn't know who of them gasped when their cocks touched and brushed against each other. One of Severus' hands came up to Harry's head, pushed it back gently and then Severus mouth covered his own. The older wizard buried his hands in Harry's messy hair and willingly Harry opened his lips to meet Severus' tongue with his. They explored each other mouths, their teasing tongues gliding along one another, neither of them dominating the kiss. Harry was the first to pull back when the need for air became too urgent. After a couple of deep breaths, though, Harry continued to discover Severus with his tongue and lips, but this time not the mouth of the other wizard but his throat. Harry mouthed and licked his way down the soft and pale skin to Severus' chest, tasting the lightly salty tang. He first moved to one nipple and tentatively licked the little nub and he was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath from Severus. Harry continued his administration until the nipple stood up erect, then he moved to the other one, paying the same attention to it. He licked and nibbled the nipple with his lips until it was a hard little nub against his mouth. Harry lifted his eyes for a moment and saw Severus watching him, then with a rapid pounding heart he moved lower on Severus' skin, until he had to drop on his knees eventually. Finally Harry was on eye-level with Severus' cock, which stood up proud and erect from a hairless groin. "Nice haircut by the way," Harry muttered with a quick glance up, then he reached out and took Severus' hard cock into his hand. ~ Severus hissed at the touch. It was unfamiliar not to be the one pleasuring himself but very welcome nonetheless. The fingers were wrapped around his hard on and had started to slide up and down on it. Severus tipped his head back and closed his eyes. Up and down the hand went, nice and easy in a steady – "Unghh!" Those weren't fingers anymore around his cock. Instead the insatiable brat had just swallowed his member in one go, causing Severus to almost loose it right there, in the moist cavern of Harry's mouth. Like usual that ruddy Gryffindor just went for it, no matter the outcome. Come? "Harry… stop… NOW!" But said Gryffindor hummed in protest, causing the mouth that surrounded Severus to vibrate. With the last tatters of his self-control, Severus put his hands on Harry's head and pushed him away as gentle as he could manage. He turned towards the elevated bed and steadied himself on it with his hands, trying to catch his breath. "Did I do something wrong?" Severus shook his head and then looked at Harry, who was still on the same spot but now sitting back on his feet. He smiled crookedly. "Not at all," Severus answered still breathing heavily. "But as much as I appreciate your enthusiasm, there is more to the art of love mak… sexual intercourse." Severus took another deep breath to hide his befuddled language skills. "It's not the main goal to orgasm as fast as possible." "Go figure," Harry replied. "Is everything you do some kind of art?" He wanted to know. "Or are you trying to tell me that Slytherins just don't shag for shagging's sake?" "You are a quick study," Severus said with sparkling eyes. "Up on the bed… now." Severus underlined his words with a gesture of his head towards the bed. In a flash the young wizard was up and climbed onto the bed, seemingly unaware of the picture he created, crawling on all fours to the headboard, his hard cock swaying slightly from side to side. "Nice view, Potter," Severus said and Harry froze, his arse right in front of the older wizard. Like in slow motion Harry turned his head to look at Severus and he saw that the younger man had blushed furiously. Despite the flush Harry managed to grin cheekily. "Sure you don't have some Gryffindor genes in you?" Severus growled and pushed himself up on the bed. He placed himself on his knees right behind Harry, his cock nestling in the crack of Harry's arse. The younger wizard moaned. Severus bent forward, covering Harry's body with his own. "I'm absolutely positive as you will find out soon enough," he said, dropping his voice to a murmur. Severus wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him back with him, so that Harry came to sit in front of him, almost on his thighs. Body pressed against heated body, Severus let his hands wander over Harry's chest and stomach, the outside of Harry's thighs and then over the inside of the thighs, accidentally brushing the erect cock. Harry moaned again and his head feel back on Severus' shoulder. Severus reached for the younger man's member, wrapped his fingers around the hard flesh and deliberately moved his hand up and down a couple of times, causing Harry to push into his hands. Despite his own twitching cock, Severus smirked and released Harry's member, instead continuing to stroke his chest, provoking a soft disappointed sound from the younger wizard. Severus was indeed a patient man and he enjoyed teasing Harry with the caresses and just once in a while touching his hard on, to give it a few strokes before returning to touching the rest of Harry's body. The younger wizard was writhing in Severus' arms, panting with excitement while Severus attacked his body with seductive touches. Severus licked and nibbled the sensitive skin at Harry's throat and neck, his hands all the while stroking the young man where he could reach him. Once more, Severus wrapped his fingers around Harry's cock and pumped it slowly, moving his hand up and down. "Gods, Severus…" Harry panted. "I believe… you… no… Gryffindor." Severus chuckled. "So maybe we can take this one step further then," he said into Harry's ear. He sneaked a hand between their bodies and moved it down the crack of the younger wizard's arse. Harry moved forward and steadied himself on his hands on the mattress, giving Severus easier access. "I guess you have no complains then in delving a little deeper," Severus said in a low murmur, letting his finger glide over Harry's entrance, provoking a shudder from him in response. "No," came the hoarse reply. "Just… go slow…" Severus was not really sure why he hesitated; nothing seemed too odd about a plea like this. But taking in account that it was Harry that was making the request who wasn't really famous for being patient and who obviously was very aroused, it left Severus wondering. "Is there something you want to tell me, Harry?" "No," Harry snapped, sitting back suddenly. Then: "Yes… maybe…" Severus put a hand on Harry's shoulder as he tried to move away from him. "What is it?" Harry rubbed his face with his hands. "It's just… I heard… it could hurt," he muttered then. "Are you saying that you have not had anal sex before?" "Ten points to Slytherin." Severus ignored the sarcasm and instead concentrated on the meaning behind it. "Why haven't you told me before?" "Oh come on, Severus. Who would want a bloody virgin?" Severus sighed softly. This seemed to be the night of insecurity for both of them. "There is nothing wrong with not being experienced, Harry," Severus gently said. "I remember you not being all too fond of the lack of knowledge," Harry muttered under his breath. "I don't despise the lack of knowledge, Harry, because that is something that can be changed. I disdain inattentiveness and laziness," Severus explained. "I thought you might have found out for yourself that I in fact enjoy sharing my expertise if there is an interest in what I have to teach." Harry's shoulder sagged a little. "I would not have continued mentoring you if I had not seen your sincere interest." Neither of them spoke for a moment. Then Severus shifted and moved to the headboard, leaning against it. With one hand the older wizard gestured Harry to sit beside him. Harry, not looking at Severus, moved beside him. After another couple of minutes Harry said: "That's a bumpy road we're on." Severus laughed softly. "Which comes as a big surprise considering that you are The Golden Boy and I am the evil git." Harry snickered. "So you mean one could even say it's been a smooth ride so far, since we're both famous for having a temper?" Severus arched an eyebrow. "I do not have a temper." Harry snorted. "Yeah, you're as harmless as Buckbeak," he said mockingly. "If you know how to treat him," Harry added under his breath. "Insolent brat," Severus snarled but he smiled when Harry chuckled again. Once more they were silent for a moment. "Severus?" "Yes?" "Now that you know… could we…" Severus turned his head towards the younger man beside him. "Could we continue to deepen your knowledge?" Severus finished the sentence for Harry, and as he received a nod said: "It would be my pleasure." ~ Harry was sprawled on his back, his butt levitated by pillows. Severus' hands, lips and everything else on him had Harry once more in the state of aching need. His breath was coming in gasps and his heart was beating in a rate that made him believe it would jump out at any point soon. Severus was between Harry's spread legs and lubricated his fingers. "Let me know if it gets uncomfortable or if I proceed too fast," he said. Harry just nodded and closed his eyes, for now not wanting to watch Severus. Knowing what he was about to do was one thing, watching him doing it was quite a different story. Harry felt Severus moving a hand to his arse and then a slick finger circling around his entrance. It felt quite nice, the almost massaging touch that slowly revolved around his opening, closing in on it until the finger was right on the muscle. Harry relaxed with a soft sigh. He had never imagined that spot to be so sensitive. "Feels nice?" Severus quietly wanted to know. Harry hummed approvingly. "It gets even better," Severus said and Harry knew he was smiling although he didn't see him. The massage turned into soft probing and Harry felt Severus' finger push gently against his opening. His muscle gave way after a moment and the tip of Severus' finger slipped inside of him. Harry couldn't hold back the reflex to clamp down onto the intrusion but after a moment he was able to let loose again. It was sinfully thrilling to feel Severus touching him there, inside of him, in a place where he had never been touched before. It was so intimate to experience that finger that felt it's way, slowly inching deeper inside of him. Harry wasn't aware of him pushing back against Severus' finger, impaling himself on it. For a while Severus just constantly moved his finger slowly back and forth, turning his finger gently as he did so. After a while Harry felt Severus withdraw his finger but before he could protest, he was stretched even more then previously. Severus had just added another finger and began the thrilling process again of slowly introducing Harry to being filled. Harry's head rolled from side to side in sheer pleasure as Severus was scissoring his fingers to dilate his muscle. But then he touched a spot within Harry that made him jerk his hips uncontrollable and which made him see lights behind his closed lids. It was such a surge of lust it was almost overwhelming. Once more Severus touched that spot and once more Harry's body reacted with a mind of it's own, pushing hard against Severus' fingers. "Gods! I'm gonna die!" "You would miss out on quite a few things if you would die now," Severus said with a prod of his fingers causing Harry to groan deeply. "How… bout skipping… subtlety… and… move on?" Harry moaned but the moan turned into a soft whimpering sound as the fingers were withdrawn, leaving him empty. ~ Severus marvelled at the sight before him: Harry had his hands behind his knees to hold his legs up, opening himself for Severus. His cock was jutting out from the nest of black hair. Severus positioned himself before Harry and looked into the face of the younger man. "Are you sure about this? The first one should be someone special-" "Blimey! Severus, please!" Harry groaned. "Will you just fuck me?" The older wizard took a deep breath and gave a nod before he lowered his eyes to Harry's arse. "I want you, Sev," Harry whispered. Severus' eyes darted up again and found Harry looking at him longingly. Severus felt his mouth curl into a soft smile. "And you shall have me," he replied gently. Severus took his richly lubricated cock into his hand and moved a bit forward. With his thumb he guided the head of his cock to Harry's entrance. Gingerly he pushed against it until he could feel the muscle open up. Severus hissed and Harry moaned as the head of Severus' cock slipped inside. Just for a moment Severus closed his eyes, feeling the tight velvet tunnel enclose his glans. With a deep breath Severus opened his eyes to look at Harry, who gazed back at him with a dazed smile. "Feeling you inside of me is really incredible," he said in a hushed voice. "But seeing what it does to you is just as amazing." Severus didn't reply to this but he locked eyes with Harry as he gently pushed himself a little deeper. Letting the emotions flicker over his face, Severus carefully inched his way inside of Harry's delightful tight arse. He watched Harry's face, the widening of his eyes as he was slowly filled, the mouth that opened and closed without words coming out of it, but communicating nonetheless in it's silence. At long last Severus' cock was fully sheathed within Harry. He stilled for a moment, giving the younger man the chance to adjust. "You're all right?" Harry nodded once. "Just feeling really stretched," he whispered. "But it's mind-boggling to feel you inside of me." "Let me assure you," Severus answered in a low tone. "It's quite as incredible to have your tight arse around me." Harry gasped and his hips jerked against Severus, causing him to hum with pleasure. Carefully Severus lowered himself onto Harry, who wrapped his legs around Severus and pulled him into a long and sensual kiss that left them both breathless. Then Severus began to move his hips, his cock slowly sliding back and forth in the velvety tunnel surrounding him. Harry made little sounds of pleasure, his hand still mingled in Severus' hair. Severus knew he wouldn't last long. The long time of his abstinence and the tension that had been built up during the last weeks and that had peaked tonight would take their toll. He moved from one elbow onto his hand and told Harry to touch himself. For a change not being the one to resist, Harry moved a hand between their sweaty bodies. Feeling Harry move his hand in a very obvious manner only fuelled Severus own arousal and he closed his eyes for a moment. He started to move again and the deep groan from Harry made him snap open his eyes again. "Gods, Severus!" Harry's face was contorted to a mask of ecstasy, his lips were parted and Severus saw Harry's eyes roll back under the closed lids. Severus lowered his head beside Harry's and gave in to his body, his movements becoming more demanding with every push. Harry was pumping his cock fervently now and his breath came in sobbing gasps. Then his head shot up, his hips jerking franticly and Severus felt Harry's seed splatter his skin. Muscles contracted in waves around Severus' cock, hugging it tightly then unclasping it, again, again and again. Severus' arm gave way and he fell on his elbow but he didn't miss a beat, his body straining for release, demanding to put an end to the build up tension. "Sweet Salazar!" Severus groaned. Harry's hand grabbed Severus in his neck and their mouth's clashed into a feverish kiss. His tongue penetrated Harry's mouth in the same heated rhythm as his cock moved within Harry. Severus felt a tingling sensation at the end of his spine. His balls tightened and he lifted his head, his mouth open in a silent cry as his semen started to spurt. ~ Harry and Severus had managed to untangle their limps despite the state of blissful fatigue they were in. Harry lay beside Severus, his eyes closed and his breath even. His fingers had almost stopped drawing lazy patterns on Severus' chest because sleep was slowly creeping up on him. But then Severus quietly spoke: "Thank you, Harry." Harry shifted sleepily so he could look at Severus. "What for?" Severus smiled this tiny small that Harry liked so much. "Think about it. If you don't figure it out you may ask me again – after we've had some sleep." "But-" Severus pressed a finger onto Harry's lips. "I'm an old man and I need to rest if I want to keep up with you," he said. "Which I have every intention to," Severus added and pulled Harry back down beside him. "Be a good boy now and sleep. You're tired as well, I'm sure." With a sigh Harry made himself comfortable again. Severus was right he was tired. Tomorrow would be another day to think about Severus' cryptic statement. "Nox." tbc ***** Chapter 11 ***** Chapter Notes I confess it isn't as much fun posting new chapters if the response is as slow as it is here. So I'm even more glad that there is at least one reader who is leaving a comment regularly. Thank you GoddessonmyKnees . It's only because of you that I'm posting ahead of time since I might not get around to it tomorrow - enjoy :o) Oh and who finds the hidden quote in this chapter and where is it from? Harry and Severus spent the next couple of days with long hours in bed (or other places where one could have sex), walking in the deserted grounds of Hogwarts, extended meals and long conversations. Severus showed several toys to Harry that he liked to use in a play. There were different kind of floggers, clamps, crops, a cane, soft ropes, chains and hooks and leather cuffs, which were padded on the inside. Once again Severus spoke about how important safety was and thus you had to keep your tools and toys in order to not put the sub in danger of getting hurt in a bad way. Severus held out a hook. "This for example is a very good hook. They use this kind for horses. You can still open them even if they're under high tension, which of course comes in handy if you have a fainting sub tied up at the wall." "Well, a simple spell would be effective no matter the hooks," Harry stated. Severus turned his head and looked at Harry and after a moment started to laugh. "Certainly it would. And of course I would use magic in case of an emergency. But what you have to realise is that the BDSM-community is not as large as you think. Therefore magic folk and Muggles get mixed up there. My own training was done by a Muggle." "Oh, I didn't know," Harry replied astonished. "Truth to be told, I do like the non-magical way of BDSM. For example it's sometimes the struggle to be brought down that is a relief in itself." Harry frowned at Severus. "You mean as in fighting against each other?" Severus nodded with a smile. "For instance in a role play, or simply because the people involved want to experiment with it. Some subs use it if they're upset somehow and want to get ride of the tension," Severus said. "If it is not to your liking you don't have to do it. Like with a lot of other things as well," he added with a smile. Harry nodded. "BDSM has a healing potential," Severus continued while he put the hook back. "You have the possibility to re-live a situation that has been traumatising in the past. In the play you have control over it and you have a partner that cares for your well-being. That being said, I do not recommend it as a form of therapy, not at all. But it can be very healing." Harry looked thoughtfully at Severus. BDSM really was very different from the rumours you got to hear. * They were walking on the edge of the Forbidden Forrest. It was Harry's fifth day in Severus' company and Harry felt at ease with the older wizard. He loved the conversations they had about almost everything that came to their heads. He also greatly enjoyed sex with Severus; it was passionate, sensual, tender, intense and even downright funny at times. But there was something he did start wondering about: when would Severus really play with him? They had talked a lot about BDSM but except for that first night there hadn't been anything like it. Harry pondered about that while they walked in silence. They were nearly back at the castle when Severus asked him why he was so quiet. "Just mulling things over, you know," Harry replied. "Anything special or just in general?" Severus probed. Harry thought about that for a moment and finally took a deep breath. He knew Severus well enough by now that he wouldn't stop digging and he knew himself even better to know that he wouldn't stop brooding. "It's kind of special," Harry started without looking at the older wizard. "I'm just wondering if you're interested at all to play with me." Harry could feel Severus looking at him but kept his eyes straight ahead. "What makes you think I am not interested?" "Because you didn't so far," Harry answered. "True. And with a reason." Now it was Harry's turn to look questioningly at the other wizard. "What reason?" Severus stopped and turned to Harry. "You remember our first night?" Harry laughed in spite of the blood he felt creeping into his head. "Sure, it's not that long ago, is it"? Severus smiled at him. "You asked me to pinch your nipples, Harry," he said. "Well, one could even say you begged me for it, and very nicely at that," Severus added with a smirk that made Harry blush even more. "But the fact remains the same, Harry: you told me that you wanted it." Harry made a surprised sound and looked at Severus with wide eyes. Severus smiled again. "I don't want to rush things and I certainly don't want to push you. As you have already noticed, I am a patient man. And knowing you and your Gryffindor bravery, I knew you would let me know when or if you want to proceed." Harry didn't know what to say so he just looked at Severus for quite a while. With one hand he softly touched Severus' face. "I think I'm starting to realise how lucky I am. And now I don't know if I should laugh or cry because I'm so happy." "You could do both or one after the other," Severus offered. But Harry did neither. Instead he wrapped Severus in a crushing embrace. "Oh god, I think I'm going to fall in love with you." "As frightening as this might seem to you, do you need to make it sound like a threat?" Now Harry really started to laugh. * As curious as Harry was and as much as he wanted to explore this other side of him, it took him three more days to gather all his courage and ask. He imagined various ways of how he could approach Severus but still wasn't sure which way would be best. He thought about how, where and what would be the best time. At one point yesterday Harry had even asked Severus if he wanted to be addressed as "Master" in a play – which he didn't. Nobody used the title in respect to his Master in potions and he had none in the art of BDSM, was all he said. Once more pondering about the best way to do it, Harry leaned against the basin in the bathroom. "Oh screw all this thinking! I'm just gonna get out now and ask!" ~ Severus looked up from his book as he heard Harry coming from the bathroom and smiled at him, before he continued reading. The fragrance of his shower gel filled the room and Severus inhaled the musky scent deeply. He heard the younger man walking towards him and as his shadow fell on top of him, Severus looked up. Harry just stood there for a moment, his fingers the only thing that moved. Severus, having an idea that Harry was struggling with something, put the book aside indicating that Harry had his full attention. Neither said anything and Severus watched Harry shifting his weight from one leg to the other. A bolt of excitement shot through Severus as Harry went to his knees in front of him, his head bowed and his hands by his sides. So this was what the struggle was about. Severus had been wondering how long it would take Harry to come to him and ask. "Sir, I would – no…" Harry took a deep breath but his voice was still trembling when he started again. "Please, sir, would you… would you like to play with me?" He finally managed to say. Severus smiled softly even though Harry wasn't looking at him. This surely had been a strain for the younger wizard. Knowing that you want to try it and the curiosity about it was one thing. But asking for it was something else all together. It was your own responsibility and your own will to ask for something you craved for. "With the outermost pleasure, Harry," Severus answered. Harry lifted his head and met Severus' gaze with a shy smile, his cheeks dusted with pink. He took another deep breath. "That wasn't easy," he quietly admitted. Severus gazed at Harry. "What was the hardest part for you?" Furrowing his brows thoughtfully, Harry stared into space for a moment before he looked back at Severus. "First I thought it was the question about how, when or even where to ask," Harry said. "But honestly, that wasn't it." Severus smiled softly but didn't interrupt the younger wizard. "The hardest part was to get where I am now and to give myself to you. Do you know what I mean?" "To give your consent to being hurt by asking me for it?" Severus wanted to know. "Or simply to say it out loud that you want it?" Harry swallowed but his gaze didn't waver as he nodded. "The latter." "It's intense, isn't it?" Severus asked quietly. "Very," Harry replied just as quietly. They looked at each other for a moment and Severus noticed Harry shifting his weight under the gaze. "Are you getting uncomfortable down there, Harry?" "No," Harry replied quickly. "Not really, sir." Severus arched an eyebrow. "Maybe I should have been more specific," he said and looked pointedly to Harry's tented trousers before he lifted his gaze again with a smirk. "Maybe I should have asked if you get uncomfortable tight around your crotch." Harry blushed and lowered his eyes. "Oh." "Or are you telling me that you stuffed a pair of socks in there to make it just look like you have a hard on?" Severus teased. The blush on Harry's cheek deepened. "No, sir, there are no socks." Severus chuckled amused. "So you do have a hard on?" "Yes, sir," Harry answered without looking at him. "Good, very good." Severus nodded leisurely. "Very nice reaction." Harry glanced up at him and Severus smiled reassuringly. "Since this will be your very first play ever, is there something that you would like to try most? Certain toys maybe?" Frowning thoughtfully Harry gazed to the side for a moment. Then with a smile he looked up at Severus, his green eyes shining. "I take this look as a yes," Severus laughed. Harry nodded, still smiling. "Yes, sir." "Go get them and I'll consider them," Severus said. It took Severus a moment to realise that Harry was about to summon them with a spell and he stopped him by pushing his outstretched arm down. "No, Harry. Go get them." With a confused look Harry got up and went into the bedroom. Severus watched him leave with a smile. Harry would find out that it was quite a different thing to actually go and get something instead of summoning it. It provided you with the time to think about what you were doing and what could possibly happen with the items you choose. A mental mindfuck can be nice, Severus thought with a smirk. He was curious about the toys that Harry would bring back as he heard the drawers in the other room. The flush in Harry's face showed Severus that the young wizard had indeed been using the time to do some imagining of his own. The red had deepened as he went back into the kneeling position in front of Severus. Severus wasn't surprised to see the cuffs in Harry's hand. He had looked thoroughly at them and fondled them for quite some time when he had seen them first. But the other thing that Harry had brought back was a flogger. It was what Severus had called a "newbie-flogger" since it had many and soft threads and therefore had not the stinging bite that others had, but it was a flogger nevertheless. Harry took a deep breath and then held out the cuffs to Severus. "I'd like to wear those please, sir," he said quietly. "Nice choice, Harry. I bet they look very good on you," Severus replied benignly. "What else did you bring?" Harry blushed even more but handed the other item to Severus. "I'm very curious about the flogger, sir. I'm not sure if I'm already up to it, though." Severus nodded. "Very well. We'll see if we will include it while we go along. How does that sound?" The eager nod made Severus chuckle. "Very curious, hm?" For a moment Harry looked away but he gazed back up at Severus when he finally nodded with a shy smile. "What's your safe word?" Severus asked as he had so many times before to make sure Harry would know it in his sleep. "Red, sir." "Good boy." Severus took one of the cuffs and motioned Harry to get closer. The young man did as told and raised one hand while looking at the cuffs in Severus' lap. Severus swiftly took Harry's chin and lifted it up so that Harry had to look at him. "Don't try and forestall me," Severus said seriously. "Even if it's as obvious as this." Harry blushed deeply. "I'm sorry, sir," he whispered. "I just thought-" "Exactly, you thought," Severus said. "I know that you were only trying to be attentive. For future notice: if in doubt wait until I have told you to do something." "Yes, sir." Severus nodded and released Harry's chin. "Now give me your right hand." Looking up sheepishly Harry took his left hand back and offered Severus the right one. Severus placed the cuff around Harry's wrist and fastened it. He moved it around and pulled on it to check how it fit. It looked good to him and he lifted his eyes to Harry who was staring at their hands. "How does it feel, Harry?" Severus asked the younger wizard. Harry looked up as if he was in a daze. And if Severus wasn't mistaken, he really was slowly drifting into another world. "Very nice, sir." "Is it too tight?" Shaking his head Harry said that it was perfect. "Take this hand back and give me the other one." Severus put the second cuff on and checked this one as well, afterwards asking Harry if it fit, which it did. "How do you feel wearing them?" Severus wanted to know after watching Harry for a moment, who had dropped his gaze back to his hands. "I… I'm not sure," Harry replied. "Don't know how to describe it." "Does it feel bad?" Severus probed. The younger wizard shook his head quickly. "No, not at all, sir. It's just… you know… it's kind of…" Harry paused for another moment. "It's as if I can hold on to something even though they hold me." Severus nodded. "Do they make you feel secure?" "Yeah, in a way they do." Severus smiled softly. That was an additional effect he had not expected but was glad about it nonetheless. "That's good. Is there something else?" Harry brought his hands together and played with the rings before he looked up at Severus. "The knowledge of what you could do with me when I'm wearing them." A smirk appeared on Severus' face. "Does that excite you?" From underneath his fringe Harry looked up at Severus. "Yes, sir," he whispered. Severus bent forward, hooked his fingers into the rings of the cuffs and leaned back again. Then, with a sharp tuck he pulled Harry towards him. ~ Harry gasped with surprise but there was also something else that had made him catch his breath: a rush of desire that had surged through him. He looked up and right into Severus' dark eyes. And as if the older man had read Harry's mind, he bent down and kissed him. Harry moaned into Severus' mouth thrusting his tongue forward but he soon realised that he wasn't the one dominating the kiss. One low growl from Severus reminded him of his place and made him retreat and wait. And then Severus came to him, his tongue caressing his lips sensually at first before he immerged deeper in his exploration. Harry felt like he had no bones left in his body as Severus pulled back but he tried to follow Severus nevertheless and he made a soft sound of despair when Severus was out of reach. "The sounds of need, Harry. It's like music in my ears," Severus said hoarsely. Harry opened his eyes and looked from Severus' glistening lips up into his sparkling eyes. "Mhm, and that look in your eyes! I see your hunger in them!" Severus released Harry's wrists and took his face between his hands. "Maybe it's just as well that we will have a little break here," Severus said. "This is what we're going to do: you will go and use the bathroom while I go into the bedroom to get some things done. Got me?" Harry had to clear his throat twice before he could answer. "Yes, sir." "All right, off you go." Harry got up on his feet and headed to the bathroom. He had just reached the door when Severus called him back. "Harry? Take your shirt off while you're at it. It might just complicate things later." Harry, who had turned back around, saw the smirk in Severus' face. He swallowed as he imagined what it might be that could complicate the simple task of taking off a shirt and another rush of excitement shot through him. "Yes, sir," he answered. "Good boy. And if the door to the bedroom is still closed when you're done, wait until I come to get you." Harry nodded and still looked at Severus who had gotten up as well. "Sir? We haven't really started and yet…" Tilting his head in a questioning manner, Severus stepped up to him. "Yes?" Once more Harry had the feeling that he couldn't even really describe how he felt and he said so to Severus with his head lowered. Harry felt Severus' hand under his chin that pushed his head up gently so that he had to look at him. "Start with how it feels," Severus said with a soft smile. "Is it good or bad?" Harry smiled. That was easy enough. "It feels good. Very strange though," he answered. He thought for a moment before he continued. "It's like… like I'm in a cocoon, you know. It's like… there is something around me that keeps everything away from me." Harry frowned thoughtfully. "But at the same time…" He looked up at Severus again. "At the same time I'm very aware of you. Of what you do, how you smell…" Harry stopped for a moment, leant forward and closed his eyes inhaling deeply. "Love your smell." Harry leant back with a smile and opened his eyes again. "I… I feel you there. I feel your touch… and I… I hear your voice. And that's the strangest thing, cause it nearly feels like your voice is creating this thing around me. Weird, uh?" He laughed softly. "Maybe it's a spell you put on me." ~ Severus smiled softly while he listened to Harry's description. It sounded like something quite a few submissives were talking about: subspace. "No, Harry. I did not put a spell on you. BDSM has it's own magic," he said. "Other bottoms experience similar things while in a play." "Wow, I like this kind of magic." Severus chuckled softly. "That's good then. I'm glad you do. Still remember your safe word?" "Sure do, sir. Red." "Good. Now go." Harry smiled once more then turned and disappeared into the bathroom. tbc ***** Chapter 12 ***** Chapter Notes Well, here we go with the last installment of this story. Kudos to Affienia for finding the quote (A mental mindfuck can be nice) from the Rocky Horror Picture Show :o) See the end of the chapter for more notes With a smile Severus collected the flogger and headed for the bedroom. He wasn't surprised about Harry's experience with subspace. If at all he was amazed about how easily he went there. Severus closed the door behind him. There were some things he wanted to prepare even if they might not use them. He took his wand out and pointed it into the left hand corner. Out of thin air there appeared a solid post, which was encased in the ground and the ceiling. It was placed so that he could still walk around it and reach the tied up person from every side. There was a bolt with a metal ring on it a little higher than six feet. Severus took the bar that leaned in the corner. Out of habit he checked the rings that were fixed at both ends of the bar, then the one in the middle. Satisfied he hooked the bar to the post and pulled on it, using all his weight for the test. After that he arranged a goblet with juice (with straw) some tissues and of course some lube. Since he would play with another wizard he neglected the safety scissors for emergencies, he could use his wand instead. With another flick of his wand, Severus had ropes attached to the four-poster bed, already with hooks at the ready. He quickly checked the ropes as well and then went to his wardrobe. In one corner were clothes that he hadn't looked at for ages. He took out a pair of black leather pants and a simple black button shirt. It wasn't fancy but it served the purpose of setting a difference to his usual attire when he was not in role. He got changed and even though the pants were a little loose he felt good in them. The last item to complete his outfit was a leather belt that had a holster for his wand. After a last look around the room to see if he had forgotten anything he went to the door. But just before he opened it Severus turned back around and with a wave of his wand he had many candles floating in the air. Pleased with the now created atmosphere he reached for the door and opened it. Harry stood outside, staring into space but he turned his head as he heard Severus. Like he had been told to he had taken off his shirt. "You look hot – if I may say so," Harry said looking Severus up and down. "You may and thank you," Severus replied with a chuckle. "I hoped it would increase the sexy bastard factor." As expected Harry blushed at the allusion, causing Severus to chuckle even more. "Come in," Severus said, moving to the side to let Harry pass. Severus closed to door behind Harry and when he turned around he found Harry staring at the tying post in the corner. He stepped behind Harry and put his arms around him. "I thought you might want to look at some things," Severus said close to Harry's ear and he could feel the tremor that ran through his body. "I believe your body agrees with the idea, does it?" Severus probed, dropping his voice to a seductive murmur. Another shudder passed through Harry before he answered with a whisper: "Yes, sir." ~ Harry's mouth was dry and his heart throbbed franticly as Severus led him to the tying post and stood him right before it with his face towards the post. The older wizard placed first one of Harry's hand on the bar and then the other without tying them to it. "Just feel it, Harry," Severus said lowly. Harry stood there his arms spread and closed his eyes. He could feel Severus behind him and even though he knew he was there, he quivered when he felt the first contact on his back. Feather light touches caressed his skin, then strong fingers moved firmly over the muscles on his back. Every inch of his upper body was being touched; even his arms and hands weren't forgotten. He had goosebumps everywhere and the hair in his neck stood erect. Then Severus drew lines with his fingernails on his skin, yet another sensual sensation that left Harry swaying on his feet. Suddenly Severus moved forward and pressed Harry between the post and his body, causing Harry to gasp in surprise. But the gasp turned into a deep groan as Severus' fingers caught his nipples and pinched them. It wasn't too hard but Harry felt like a stroke of lightning had hit him and he pressed himself against Severus. Feeling the bulge of Severus' hard cock push into his arse only intensified Harry's desire and made his own hard cock twitch. Severus' hands left his nipples and moved to his buttocks, kneading them with strong fingers. "I know you are already more then set to being fucked now. But I'm not quite done yet playing with you," Severus said into Harry's ear, provoking another gasp. This man was about to make Harry loose his mind. "Let's get rid of those clothes." Harry dropped his hands to the waistband of his jeans. "What do you think you are doing?" Severus growled. Harry's eyes popped open at the sound of Severus' voice. "Getting undressed, sir, like you said." Much to Harry's relief Severus chuckled about the reply. "It was a figure of speech," he said. "As much as I'm pleased to learn that you at long last decided to follow my orders quite eagerly… weren't you supposed to hold on to something?" Harry felt Severus' hands on his arms and then the older wizard brought Harry's hands back up to the bar. "I'm sorry, sir." "Since I didn't tell you to not let go, you are out of trouble – for now," Severus countered in a silky voice. Harry swallowed. But the thought about which kind of trouble Severus had been talking about was soon pushed out of his mind. Severus' hands slid down on his arms, once more covering his skin with goosebumps, then down his sides and finally they moved to the front of his jeans, causing Harry's cock to remind him how constricted it was. As though Severus had read Harry's mind (or better Harry's cock's mind), he popped open button after button, all the while carefully avoiding his hard member as much as possible. Harry tried to still himself, to not react but his body had a mind of his own. "Impatient, are we?" Severus whispered into his ear. "Not… too much, sir." "Good," Severus said. "Because it's going to take a while until we get there," he added and pressed his palm against Harry's cock. Harry had barely inhaled for a deep groan when the hand was gone again. He couldn't stifle a little disappointed sound. Severus only chuckled and continued to strip Harry out of his jeans and briefs. The air caressing his naked skin made Harry shiver. He wasn't really cold though, it was excitement mixed with anticipation and a little nervousness. One of Severus' hands lay on Harry's hip and he could feel the warmth spreading from there. "Close your eyes and feel, Harry," Severus murmured. Harry obeyed and then felt something else touch his shoulder. It was an incredible sensual feeling as if handful of heavy velvety strings were dragged over his shoulders, his arms and his back. "You like it?" Severus asked quietly beside his ear. Harry nodded. "Yes, sir." The thing – whatever it was – was dragged once more over his shoulder, then Harry felt it on his head and in his face. "Smell it," Severus commanded sedately. Harry inhaled deeply the rich and heavy scent. It reminded him of – Harry gasped. Leather! "It's the flogger touching you like this." "It feels very… nice, sir." "It's quite sensuous, isn't it?" "Yes, sir." ~ Severus smiled. Step one of introducing a new bottom to the flogger was successfully accomplished. Time for them to move to step two. Severus pulled the flogger back over Harry's shoulder and stood back a little. Swinging the toy just lightly, causing the tips of the threads to tap softly against the young man's skin, Severus continued to prepare Harry for what was about to come. There was no need for hurry and Severus took his time letting the gentle taps rain over Harry's body. Very slowly Severus increased the strength of the hits and concentrated his aim onto Harry's shoulders and buttocks. They were close to the point where the strokes would become noticeable as more then deliberate blows. Severus' senses were focused sorely onto Harry's reactions when he aimed the first serious blow onto the firm muscle of Harry's butt. He heard the long moan and saw the hip jerking forward and how it was pushed back an instant later as if asking for more. Severus attended the other cheek with a smack and once more listened to Harry's moaned reply and watched the answer of the younger wizard's body. After two more hits with much the same effect, Severus stepped forward and grabbed the juice on the way. Standing beside Harry, Severus rubbed the now softly glowing buttocks with one hand, causing Harry to press his butt against Severus' hand. "How are you doing there?" "…fine… sir," "Good," Severus replied, holding the goblet with juice in front of Harry's mouth. "Have a sip, please." His cock twitched intrigued as Severus watched Harry's lush lips move over the straw forming an 'o' before they closed over it. He was just about to say something but quickly thought better of it. It wouldn't be any good to have Harry suffocate by swallowing the wrong way. Instead Severus moved one hand up to Harry's to check the circulation in his fingers and found them warm. Severus put the goblet on its place and turned back to Harry. "Now where were we at?" "Er- you were showing me how flogging feels, sir?" Harry answered with his head turned to Severus. "Ah, yes, that's right." Stepping behind Harry, Severus grabbed the younger man's firm buttocks with spread fingers, provoking a low moan from Harry as he kneaded them. "Am I correct to presume that the flogger is much to your liking?" He wanted to know before he nibbled with his teeth on Harry's shoulder and neck. There was an eager nod before the words finally dropped from Harry's lips: "Yes. sir. Quite… correct." Almost growling Severus bit into the fleshy part between Harry's shoulder and neck causing the younger man to inhale sharply. After holding the flesh for a moment, Severus released it again and licked over the marks his teeth had left. "So do you want to feel more of that flogger?" The thrust of Harry's hip and the mumbled plea was all the answer Severus needed. Let the dance begin. And it was a dance, the way Harry moved after a stroke, his whole body working, muscles flexing and relaxing and hips swaying. A dance to the sound of leather- threads whistling through the air before they connected with the body; and to the sound of Harry's voice, the moans and groans and incoherent words that were dripping from his mouth. Severus was the conductor and Harry followed his lead. ~ Harry had lost track of time. The heavy blows didn't really hurt when they connected with his body. The thudding aftershock sent a wave of heat right into the core of his being; a wave of heat that burned all thoughts away and focused his mind on his body and on Severus who was connected to him through his presence, the sound of his voice and the flogger; a wave of heat that sent Harry flying. He stood there naked and tied to the post and was at Severus' mercy, the pain transformed into pleasure and left him achingly hard in his need. "Lord… please… so good…" Harry panted. "Need you… please?" He didn't realise that the flogging had stopped until he heard Severus. "What do you need?" His seductive voice whispered into Harry's ear. "… you… in me…" "My cock inside of you?" Severus asked, pressing his leather-clad erection against Harry's burning arse. Harry moaned and pushed back against Severus. "Yes!" "To fill your arse?" "Yes!" "To fuck you?" "Please!" "To take you?" "Yes, yes!" "To use you for my own pleasure?" "Gods! If you… keep… that up," Harry groaned, "I'm gonna… come…" "I don't think so," Severus chuckled and took Harry's hands from the bar and then manoeuvred Harry the few steps to the edge of the elevated bed, telling him to bend over it and to brace himself on his hands. "Now let's try this again. What do you want?" Severus asked slyly. "You… inside… me." "Try to form a sentence and I might consider doing so." Harry groaned and let his head drop between his arms. "Sadist," he muttered. "I am delighted to hear that you figured that out by now," Severus drawled mockingly. Harry snickered but jumped a second later in surprise as a sound smack landed on his buttock. "And it's still sir sadist to you," Severus said, adding another slap on the other cheek. "Yes, sir," Harry gasped. "Sorry, sir." "Back to my question, what do you want?" Harry took a deep breath. "Sir, I need you… inside of me… please." "Close enough," Severus' voice purred into his ear. Harry moaned as he felt two lubricated fingers at his puckered entrance. They snaked their way inside of him, preparing him for Severus' cock. Greedily he pushed against the fingers but even when they were fully inside of him it wasn't enough. "Is that what you want?" " … more please…sir," Harry groaned. "Greedy, are we?" Severus asked teasingly. After a quick brush against Harry's prostate – that took his breath away before he could reply – the fingers were withdrawn, leaving him empty and needy. Harry whimpered softly. His breath hitched as he heard Severus' belt slide through the loop and a second later the zipper being pulled down. Then he felt the head of Severus' cock press against his entrance, breaching his muscle and finally, finally Severus' cock was sliding into of him, filling him completely. "Oh fuck!" "Just what do you think I am doing here, Potter?" Harry felt laughter bubbling up inside of him and he couldn't hold it back. But the laughter was soon driven out of him; leaving him gasping instead as Severus started to move, pulling his cock almost all the way out just to push it back in, hitting Harry's sweet spot. A stream of jumbled obscenities poured constantly out of Harry's mouth, which were accentuated by pleas every time Severus hit home. With the endorphins still running high in Harry's blood plus the ragging hormones of youth, it was no surprise that Severus had Harry on the edge of orgasm in no time, yelling hoarsely as he climaxed. ~ Severus pushed himself as deeply as possible into Harry as he filled him with his seed, the muscles in Severus' abdomen contracting beyond his control. Humming with satisfaction, Severus bent forward to embrace Harry after the spasms had eased. As if that had been Harry's cue, his knees buckled at the same time as his arms gave way and Severus had a droopy body in his arms. If it hadn't been for Severus' reflexes, Harry had ended up on the floor. "Oops," Harry mumbled. "Sorry bout that." The sudden movement had caused Severus to slip out of Harry rather ungracefully. "Always the Gryffindor," Severus murmured teasingly. "No finesse at all." But the gentle kiss he placed on Harry's shoulder betrayed Severus' words. He cast a cleaning spell on both of them and afterwards drew back the covers before he lifted Harry onto the bed. After banishing his own clothes Severus joined Harry, pulled him into his arms, and then tucked the blankets around them. Shifting himself into a comfortable position, Severus closed his eyes. While his hand caressed the still out-of- order-Harry, Severus' enjoyed the images of the previous hours flashing before his inner eye. He didn't notice the tiny smile that curled around the corner of his mouth as pictures of Harry in various positions crossed his mind. Severus sighed satisfied and once more marvelled about how drastically his life had changed in such a short time. If someone had told him earlier that someday he would have a (play-) partner again – Harry Potter on top of it – Severus would have died laughing his arse of. No, scratch that. He wouldn't have laughed back then. But he would have exploded just the same with similar consequences. Severus hadn't had any planes for after the battle because he had always believed he would die at one point during it. But it hadn't come to it and so Severus had settled for a lonely life under the dark shadow that hung over his head due to his work as a spy (not to mention his foolish decision to take the Mark). He had accepted that most of the people in the wizarding world would never get over their prejudice, and honestly he had never cared much about what people think of him anyway. But then two, no even three people (the Slytherin in Severus only writhed a little about the fact that all of them had been Gryffindors) had very openly stood up for him. He didn't know if the speeches from Hermione Granger or Minerva would change anything but he had realised that it made his heart feel a little lighter. Not even as much for his own benefit but maybe Harry wouldn't get judged too harshly about his choice of partner. Harry. Severus sighed again, the smile in his face deepening. Harry, who had succeeded with his stubbornness to become a part of Severus' live. Harry, who had made Severus laugh for the first time in countless years. Harry, who had decided that he wanted to give himself to Severus in more then just one way. Harry, who would become a wonderful bottom, a strong and powerful partner. Harry, who had kindled that spark of hope in Severus, that his future might not be as dark and lonely after all. Harry. Harry. Harry. Of course nobody could know in this state of their relationship how it would precede from here. Even if it was not forever, Severus was sure that they would at least share a bit of the road ahead of them and he was looking forward to it. The subject of Severus' thoughts shifted in his arms and pulled him out of his reverie. ~ Sighing with satisfaction, Harry tried to get even closer to the warm body beside him. "What is it?" Severus asked quietly. Harry smiled softly although he knew the older wizard couldn't see it. "I'm just feeling very content," Harry replied equally softly. "And normal for a change," he added. Having his head on Severus' chest, Harry felt the chuckle from the other wizard more then he heard it. Surprised he lifted his head and looked at Severus. "Why are you laughing?" "Normal is not quite a word that comes to my mind when I think about you," Severus answered without hiding his grin. "The Boy Who Lived, The Chosen One, The Boy Who Defeated Voldemort – well, The Brat Whatever You Call Him has still a burning hide from being flogged," Severus said mockingly. "And to top it off, the arse from the very same boy has just moments ago very effectively milked my cock to orgasm while yelling obscenities," he added. Harry snickered and then worried his lips while he pondered this for a moment. "Alright," Harry finally said mischievously. "If you can't change it, cultivate it. I'm The Perfectly Normal Pervert Who Defeated You Know Who." Severus laughed and pulled Harry back into his embrace. "That you are." Harry made himself comfortable again and closed his eyes, once more sighing contently. "Thank you, Severus," he whispered after a moment. "My pleasure." The End Chapter End Notes That's it. I hope you enjoyed the rest of the story as well. I do have another (short) story, which followes roughly AKOM and involves a certain blond aristocrat. Okay, actually I have two, but inbetween there is a story that I've written for my (queer) community. Interested? Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!