Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/303953.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural_RPF
  Relationship:
      Jensen_Ackles/Jared_Padalecki
  Character:
      Jensen_Ackles, Jared_Padalecki, Chad_Michael_Murray, Sandra_McCoy,
      Danneel_Harris, Christian_Kane
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_High_School
  Stats:
      Published: 2010-11-08 Chapters: 3/3 Words: 26429
****** And Walk With Me ******
by saucyminx
Summary
     Jensen has a crush on the captain of the football team. At a party he
     bumps into him and they hit it off – sorta.
***** Chapter 1 *****
For the official record, Jensen thought it should be known that - no matter how
“in” it might be - not everyone looked good in plaid. And when the entire
population currently had some weird obsession with clothing his parents wore
when they were his age, well, it was really too much. Was it really that
difficult to step out of the box and wear something that every other person
wasn’t wearing? Jensen didn’t think so, but for some reason the mindless
lemmings of his high school seemed to not be aware of this point.
Jensen would be more than willing to offer fashion tips to anyone who asked but
since he had a quite glaring reputation, the only ones who asked were Danneel
and Sandy. And well, they both dressed pretty good so Jensen’s extended fashion
knowledge went untapped. Which was a shame. But it didn’t stop him from
mentally redressing every single person he passed as he weaved his way through
the crowd.
The house belonged to Jason but Jensen was pretty sure the party was actually
Chad Murray’s doing. There were golden standards in their school - Jensen was
the resident gay, everyone thought Danneel was a whore, and well, anything that
was wild or crazy or down right stupid was Chad’s fault. At least people tended
to know their place. Whether those places were accurate or not.
Jensen’s was.
For some reason in a high school of almost five hundred students, Jensen was
the only one that felt comfortable enough with himself to be out of the closet.
And he hadn’t come out because of a boyfriend or some secret crush, he’d just
come out because, well, it was a little obvious. Maybe the rainbow shirt on
Pride day his Freshman year gave it away.
Anyway, this party, where a whole slew of idiots were already daring each other
to jump off the second story balcony, was already in high gear. Jensen had a
thing about being fashionably late but god it had only started a half hour ago,
what the hell was everyone drinking?
“Jen!” The squeak of his best girlfriend’s voice burst through the end of a
Nickelback song blasting from the speakers and Jensen turned, watching for the
gleam of red hair weaving through the people.
Only when Danneel finally appeared, her hair wasn’t red anymore. It was a dark
brown and flat enough he could iron clothes on it. Like every single one of
these ridiculous plaid shirts that for some reason people kept wearing
wrinkled.
“You dyed your hair,” Jensen pointed out rather uselessly since that morning it
had been the color of fire. “Didn’t you just dye it like, last week?”
“It was two weeks ago and I was getting tired of the red. What do you think?
This makes my skin look darker right?” Danneel gripped his arm, grinning up at
him through fake lashes.
For some reason Jensen never understood why Danneel like to overplay her
“whore” reputation. He happened to know for a fact that she was still a virgin
but at parties like these she shamelessly dressed in micro-mini whatever skirts
and tops that exposed far too much belly and dipped low enough that even Jensen
- gayer then a bag of skittles - couldn’t help looking.
“If I tell you I like it this color will I ever see it again?” Jensen sighed
and looked around the party. No, he wasn’t looking for anyone. Really. Honest.
“Sure you will. I have a rule not to dye it every day you know. I don’t want to
completely fry it. And he’s in the kitchen.”
Damn that girl and her all-knowing wisdom. “I have no idea who you’re talking
about.”
“Mmhmm. Sure you don’t. Anyway, you could go get me a drink. I know you’re
watching your figure but I’ll have a beer.” Danneel’s manicured nails dug into
his arm for a moment before she shoved him toward the general direction of the
kitchen.
Well, Jensen was a good friend so if Danneel wanted a beer, there wasn’t any
harm in heading into the kitchen just to get her one. If he happened to see
anyone that he wasn’t looking for then... there was really no harm in that.
It took ten minutes to get to the kitchen because apparently high school
students didn’t know how to move no matter how loudly you yelled. When he
finally rounded the corner he was standing right there. It was surprisingly
empty, only this guy and Sandy. The guy - who had a name that Jensen was pretty
fond of saying but he stopped himself from thinking it too often because it
made this weird little warmth curl in his stomach - was currently bent over
slightly and smiling at Sandy like she was the only person in the world.
That definitely made the little warmth go away and Jensen turned, walking up to
the counter to pretend like he didn’t know how to work a keg just so he could
eavesdrop on their conversation. No reason he couldn’t be curious, Sandy was
his friend after and he... well, there weren’t words to describe him.
“I don’t know Jared,” Sandy’s voice was soft and just barely audible over the
music. “I um, I’m not really supposed to date you know?” That was a complete
lie, Sandy had gone out with Tom a couple of times a few months ago, and Jensen
could feel her eyes on him. Crap, now he felt guilty because of course Sandy
wouldn’t say yes when he was standing right there.
It had taken quite a bit of Jared's nerve to ask Sandy out. That was the part
that sucked the most. Most people thought simply because he was on the football
team that things like dating came easy to him, talking to girls. None of it
came easy. "You sure? I mean, I'm a nice guy. I'll have you home on time and
it's just an art gallery opening. You'd even get to meet my sister."
Jared smiled. It was the smile that Chad said could melt the polar ice caps -
but Jared wasn't so sure it was working on Sandy.
“Sorry. It’s, I mean, I totally think you’re nice Jared, really. I just, um, I
can’t sorry.” Sandy patted his arm and gave him a tight smile before turning
and heading quickly out of the kitchen, stopping only long enough to shoot
Jensen a sympathetic look.
Jensen sort of felt like Jared was the one who needed the sympathy. Was he
really the asshole who kept his friends from going out with a guy because he
had some super epic crush on him? It wasn’t like his crush would go anywhere.
And though he appreciated their consideration, he didn’t really want to see
that crestfallen look on Jared’s face either. Jensen looked away from him
quickly, not exactly sure what the proper etiquette was when you watched
someone get rejected.
“Hi Jensen, sorry you had to see that.” Jared rubbed a hand down his face and
picked his beer up off the kitchen counter. “Nothing like watching someone
strike out.” He smiled crookedly at Jensen and leaned back against the counter.
Jensen was well aware of the reputation he had, people knew him, so it
shouldn’t have made his heart flutter so much to learn that Jared knew his name
too. Seriously, they’d been going to school together since sixth grade, of
course they knew each other. “That’s okay. I mean, I won’t go mocking you or
something. Sorry, must suck.”
“Yeah, Sandy seems real sweet and ... well, that was that part I was - God.”
Jared drained the rest of his beer and leaned down to snatch another bottle out
of the ice bucket. “Don’t know why I’m tellin’ you stuff. Who ya here with?”
“No one. Well, Dani, my hetero life partner.” Jensen grinned over at Jared,
pleased at the opportunity to have any sort of conversation. Jensen wasn’t
necessarily unpopular but he certainly wasn’t getting invited to hang out with
the jocks. Not with Jared, Mr. Popular, the football team’s Quarterback. “You?
Well, I guess you sort of have a standing invitation to every party huh?”
Jared laughed. “Not really. I still have to be nice to people.” He flashed a
grin at Jensen and moved over to sit down at the kitchen table; he wasn’t so
keen to go back out into all the noise yet. Shoving out the other chair he
gestured for Jensen to sit down. “It’s Chad’s party - so, you know how that
is.” He pointed at his own chest. “Best friend.”
“Yeah, definitely. It’s Jason’s house so.” Jensen shrugged and tried not to
squeak a little at the idea of sitting with Jared, at a party, where all of
Jared’s friends were there to talk to but he still was chosen over them. This
was like a dream he’d had, only in his dreams it ended with them under the
table, lips locked and bodies grinding, but he wasn’t going to think too much
about that now. “Jason’s like Sweden, you know, that one guy who can float
around to every group and is everyone’s best friend. Also, he has a crush on
Dani. Which is like most guys, excluding myself naturally.”
Jensen was rambling - rather pathetically - and he cut himself off by taking a
too long drink of his beer and sputtering over the foam.
Laughing, Jared leaned forward and wiped at the beer on Jensen’s chin. “Careful
man, you’ll get all messed up.” Sitting back he took a few swallows of his own
beer. He had that whole kinda feel of being half way gone and it was much
better than thinking about Sandy turning him down. “So, tell me Jensen. You
like art?”
For the record, Jensen was absolutely, one hundred percent comfortable in his
sexuality. So, when a cute guy was doing things like touching him, well Jensen
wasn’t one to just look that over. Only with Jared it meant so much more
because Jensen had been harboring this secret epic crush on him for years now
and here Jared was - not wearing plaid but wearing a form fitting black shirt
that was gorgeous over his sculpted chest - touching Jensen and making him feel
all sorts of gooey. And apparently striking up a conversation about art,
alright then.
“What sort of art are we talking about? Like, Picasso or Da Vinci or something
more modern like Andy Warhol?” Jensen was... flirting. No doubt. But Jared
probably wouldn’t see it like that so he could get away with leaning a little
closer and smiling almost shyly at him.
"Photography. It's my sister's friend's show and I promised Meg I would go. Her
friend is convinced that no one is going to show up even though - she's like
kinda actually good at taking pictures. She took one of me, but it's kinda
crappy. Well, I think it is. She was taking photos while I was playing football
and waited until I was sitting on the bench to take a picture. Said something
about my hair." Jared looked up at Jensen and smiled then dropped his gaze. “I
don’t know much about art,” he said quietly.
Jensen wasn’t completely sure why Jared was telling him all this but, judging
from the way he was downing his beer, it probably had to do a lot with that.
They weren’t necessarily not friends after all, they could have conversations.
And if Jensen relived them for days afterward well, what else would a
flamboyant seventeen year old guy crushing on the school quarterback do?
“That’s the thing about photography and all art though. You don’t really have
to know about it. You can just look, and be honest about what you like and lie
about what you don’t. Is uh, that what you were asking Sandy too?” Jensen knew
the answer to that but he could pretend.
"Sandy? Oh, yeah. Yeah." Jared didn't really want to be reminded. "Chad said
Sandy might say yeah, 'cause she's shy a little and likes art and stuff." Jared
scooted his chair a little closer and leaned on the table. "Can I tell you
something, Jensen?"
Whether Jared realized it or not, their legs were touching under the table and
it was sending little sparks of heat up through Jensen’s body. He glanced up,
over at the door and caught sight of Danneel walking be quickly - really poor
spying. Looking back, he smiled at Jared and propped his chin in his hand,
elbow on the table. “Yeah, you can tell me anything.” Did that sound desperate?
God he hoped not.
"I know people think that... you know quarterback on the team - I probably got
it made and stuff. But I'm not very good at this dating thing. I don't seem to
get it right. You dating anyone?" Jared drank a few more gulps of his beer.
Jensen had really freaking long eyelashes and Jared couldn’t help staring at
them.
“Oh yeah, I’ve got a line of guys right here in the middle of Texas waiting to
date me.” Jensen snorted and looked away, regretting how bitter that sounded.
“No, I’m not. Never have. Weren’t you dating Katie? I um, thought I heard
that.” Jensen was lucky Jared was a little drunk, otherwise he’d come across
sounding like a bitter, stalkerish, slightly pathetic gay boy. And really he
never would have cared how he sounded if it wasn’t Jared.
"Yeah, it wasn't like everyone said though. I mean, she wasn't really all that
into me - I think. Or ... well, I dunno. Hey. I'm kinda feeling a bit weird."
Jared rubbed at his forehead. "You wanna go outside and get some air?" It might
have been a bad idea to drink his beer quite as fast as he had - he was
actually feeling a little dizzy.
“Yeah, sure.” Jensen nodded and stood quickly, stopping after a moment and
smiling down at Jared. “Sorry. This just isn’t necessarily my scene, so,
outside sounds delicious.” Jensen could literally slap himself at that but he
didn’t, just stood back and left his beer on the table. “Will you tell me what
it was like? You two weren’t dating?”
Jared stood up and swayed slightly. The music in the living room was getting
louder and louder and suddenly Jared was being spun around by a pair of hands
that were gripping his shoulders. "Fu-ck," he yelled and stumbled against the
table when the hands let go.
"Jared! What the fuck are you doing out here?" Chad glanced over at Jensen and
then back at Jared. "Sandy's in there sittin' with Danneel."
"Yeah, well, I'm just out here talkin', go hang all over someone else." Jared
tugged at his shirt to try and straighten it.
Chad glanced back at Jensen again. "Jensen. How's it hangin'?"
Jensen never knew where he stood with Chad, sometimes he felt like the guy
might beat him up and other times it seemed like they were close friends.
Generally, Chad was like that with everyone. “I never understood that. How’s it
hangin’. How is what hanging exactly and do we really want to go down that
path?” Jensen looked between Jared and Chad and shrugged. “I’m just saying.
Nice party.”
Jared frowned and shoved Chad out of the way. "Get outta here, dude. Go hit on
someone or somethin'. I need some air." Jared brushed past Chad and slung his
arm over Jensen's shoulders.
"Fine Jay but if Sandy picks up someone else it's not my fault." Chad kicked at
Jared's ass as he walked toward the door, laughed and took off back into the
noisy living room.
This was like, some sort of weird dream. Jared’s arm was a solid weight over
his shoulder, warmth radiating along his side and Jensen was caught for a
moment. If this was Danneel or Sandy - or hell even Christian - he would
casually sling his arm around Jared’s middle. Was that appropriate? Was Jared
just gonna pull away in a moment as they weaved through the crowd or something?
Biting down on his lip for a moment, Jensen slowly slid his arm around Jared’s
waist, looking down to keep from blushing at the heat that soaked into his
forearm. “You okay?” Jensen asked quietly, looking up at Jared to make sure he
wasn’t about to pass out or something.
"Fine, just a little drunk I think." Jared smiled and scrunched up his nose.
"I'm sorry man; you probably got better things to do. You need to go back to
you friends? I'll be fine." He laughed again, "I think." Fumbling with the
handle on the back door Jared sighed and let go of it.
“My friends see me all the time.” Jensen smiled and shook his head, reaching
out to push the door open and helping a staggering Jared through it. “God, how
much did you drink?” He laughed softly and curled his fingers into the hem of
Jared’s shirt, breath hitching when the back of his fingers brushed warm,
smooth skin.
"A few beers. Was nervous. Do you get nervous when you have to ask someone out?
I don’t think it should be like that." Jared tried to brush his hair off his
face and kind of missed, poking himself in the eye. "Ouch." Falling back
against the wall he grinned at Jensen.
“I’ve never asked anyone out before,” Jensen pointed out, smiling sadly at
Jared. Yeah, he was really too drunk. He’d probably never remember this
conversation. Pity. “You have the best hair.” Jensen leaned against the wall
beside him, reaching out to brush back the hair Jared hadn’t been able to move.
"Yeah?" Jared could feel himself blushing but hell, it wasn't every day someone
said something nice to him. "Wouldn't think that you would like it. Your hair
is always so... perfect. Like you spend time on it and stuff. I just get out of
the shower and comb mine." Jared looked down and decided that the floor of the
deck looked like a perfectly good place to sit. Sliding down he tugged Jensen
with him.
There was the faint flush of color on his cheeks; he knew it and he sat beside
Jared, running a hand through his hair. “I do spend time on my hair. Not
everyone can pull off perfection so easily.” Jensen grinned over at him,
pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs. “But
then, you seem like you just might wake up perfect.” Sure, he was being a
little more open than he usually would with any person he liked but he was
banking on Jared being drunk enough to forget.
Smiling shyly, Jared looked down at his hands. "Jensen? Are you flirting with
me?" He looked back up and leaned his head back against the wall so he could
turn to Jensen. It was no secret that Jensen was gay; in fact, it would be
pretty damn hard to miss. But that didn't mean that Jared couldn't be
flattered. And, maybe a little, kinda happy that someone liked him. It was
always kind of a good feeling.
“Oh um.” Jensen looked away, swallowing thickly to cover his nerves. Jared
wasn’t an asshole, even if he thought Jensen meant anything more than casual
he’d come up with some really super sweet and nice way to let him down easy.
Jensen wasn’t sure which alternative was better. “Maybe.” Jensen finally turned
his gaze back, smile unusually shy. “Should I stop?”
"It's okay," Jared said softly. "Hey, Jensen? Do you think that Sandy said no
to be me 'cause ... like why? I mean you know her? You hang out with her right?
Do you think I just asked wrong or something?" Jared shifted a little so he
could kind of lean sideways against the wall and stare at Jensen's profile.
There were those lashes again, black and long and curling up like little ski
lifts. It was really kind of amazing. Jared lifted his finger and brushed the
tip of it along the ends of Jensen's lashes. "Holy shit your lashes are long."
It was a little weird, how in one brief moment Jensen could feel both elated
and crushed. Being a little in love with someone like Jared was dangerous for a
poor little gay boy. “I get them from my mom.” He shrugged and looked away. “I
could ask Sandy why she said no. If you want. She can be a little shy sometimes
so maybe you just caught her off guard.” If Jensen were to go to Sandy and tell
her to date Jared if she wanted, he was pretty sure she’d say yes. “You like
her a lot?”
"Truth?" Jared dropped his gaze again. He had no idea why he felt so
comfortable with Jensen. Maybe it was because they didn't move in the same
circles all the time, maybe it was just the way the guy kept looking at him
like he was important, like Jared meant something.
“Of course the truth.” Jensen smiled softly over at Jared again until he had to
force himself to look away before the look could be tinged with longing.
"Well, it was complicated but Chad said Sandy was probably too sweet to say no
to me. I just wanted to take someone to the show who would keep me company,
maybe someone who wouldn't make fun of me for bein' in a picture, you know?"
Jared leaned a little closer to Jensen. "I didn't even tell the guys on the
team about the picture, don't want them to know." Jensen smelled really good,
kind of like flowers a little, and fresh air.
Wetting his lips slowly, Jensen looked around the back of Jason’s property,
torn between the way he felt for Jared and the need to protect Sandy. “So you
don’t really like her? Why don’t you just ask Chad or something? You’re super
popular, I’m sure there are lots of people who are you friends that you could
take.” Jensen frowned at his words and laughed softly. “I totally mean that in
a non-douche way okay?”
"Yeah, but they'd just bug the fuck outta me for lettin' her take the pic. I
only did it 'cause Meg bitched and bitched at me. Hey. Why don't you come with
me, Jen? Can I call you Jen? Do people call you Jen? I would call you J but
that would be confusing." Jared slid down the wall a little bit and blinked up
at Jensen. "Please?"
Jensen’s heart fluttered. Sure, Jared was drunk and he probably wouldn’t
remember this and Jensen would be really disappointed when it didn’t happen but
just the idea that Jared would think of inviting him made his palms a little
sweaty. “I think you’ve had a little too much to drink.” He pointed out with a
soft smile, picking down at them hem of his jeans. “Inviting me? Sure sign of
intoxication.”
"Why? You're a nice guy, we get along good. You know about art and shit like
that - you hate photography or something?" Jared licked his lips and his
eyebrows lifted a little.
“No. I just...” Jensen looked over at Jared for a long moment, realizing quite
suddenly that Jared wasn’t like all his other friends and he had absolutely no
idea how Jensen felt about him. So, he either let himself have this though
nothing would come of it or take the risk of Jared not remembering and being
crushed. “Okay. When is it?”
"Tomorrow night. That's Saturday the twentieth right?" Jared scratched at his
head and reached out to grab the cuff of Jensen's shirt. "I could pick you up
at, like, seven. Is that okay? This is a really cool shirt." Jared's fingers
brushes over the back of Jensen's hand. The guy had crazy soft skin, or maybe
it was just really warm ... either way it felt good to touch it.
Heat soaked along the back of Jensen’s neck and he smiled, dipping his head
down. “Thank you. And sure, seven. Do you know where I live?” He shifted a
little closer pretending like it was cold and that was a good excuse. Man,
Jared’s cologne, whatever it was, was amazing. “What cologne do you wear?” He
asked quietly, trying not to inhale too deeply or obviously.
Jared laughed softly, “You cold? You want my jacket?” Leaning forward Jared
struggled out of his Letterman jacket and stuffed it behind Jensen then reached
across him to pull it over his shoulders. Resting his hand on Jensen’s chest he
smiled at him and leaned back against the wall. “And it’s called Fierce, my sis
gave it to me for my birthday.”
“Really?” Jensen’s eyebrows lifted and he swallowed thickly, reaching up to
curl Jared’s jacket tighter around himself. That hand, on his chest, and Jared
right there, his coat around Jensen. This was like, some kind of non-
pornographic wet dream. “Fierce? That’s pretty gay of you.” He laughed softly
and let his hand settle over Jared’s on his chest, just waiting to see how
Jared would react.
Wetting his lips again Jared smiled at Jensen. "See that's what I told Meg -
but she says gay guys like the best stuff. I think she really likes gay men -
it's like a thing with her. You two should hang out." Jared studied Jensen's
face for a few moments. "You seem kinda like a regular guy, I mean..." He blew
out a breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I don’t know
anyone who’s gay."
“I’m used to it, don’t worry.” Jensen smiled back at Jared, head tilted to the
side. God, this was like the night of dreams or something. “That’s the weird
thing about being the only out guy at school. People have these assumptions,
things they see in movies and on TV, and I think they expect me to be like
that. But I don’t talk in a shrill voice and though I have a healthy respect
for fashion it’s only because I do believe that looking good shows self-worth.”
Their hands were still pressed to his chest and Jensen was breathing a little
shallow, he wondered if Jared could feel it.
"Wow." Jared laughed softly and curled his fingers into Jensen's shirt. "That
was like an afterschool moment on TV or something - all self-esteemy." Blinking
a few times, Jared tried to focus on their hands. Jensen's hand was really warm
over his. "Guess you are kinda confident ... and stuff. People think I am
but..." Jared glanced around conspiratorially then leaned close to Jensen's ear
to whisper. "I'm not confident at all. I'm kinda shy."
“God.” Jensen whispered before he could help himself and flushed, closing his
eyes. This kind of wasn’t fair. After all, it wasn’t like he’d ever done
anything with anyone and Jared was the guy he’d always wanted. This had to be
either the best night ever or the worst kind of torture. Jared pulled back a
little and Jensen stared at him, blinking a few times. “You should be confident
Jared. You’re sweet, and nice, and cute. You’re a good guy, a great guy, and
anyone who knows you is lucky. Okay? So just think about all those things when
you feel like you’re not good enough.” Jensen laughed and looked away. “And
that was an afterschool special.”
Jared’s smile softened. “You’re pretty amazing, you know that?” Lifting his
hand Jared touched Jensen’s cheek gently until the boy looked back at him.
“Anyone tell you that lately?”
No matter how drunk Jared was, Jensen thought he had to see the way his eyes
darkened and his cheeks colored. God, was this really happening? Had Jensen
just assumed that Jared wasn’t interested and maybe he really was?
Before he could find out, Danneel came bursting through the back door, her arms
flailing out at the side like her hair was on fire. Whatever was so important
seemed to instantly vanish however once she saw the way Jared was holding his
chin and had a hand over his chest. For just a split second before he was
pulling away and sliding almost a foot away of course, like he could magically
catch gay just by Danneel seeing them.
“Dani,” Jensen hissed and narrowed his eyes at her, allowing his clear
irritation at being interrupted show through his glare. “What do you want?”
“I uh, you gotta come inside. Christian has been drinking and he’s hitting on
Katie and things are getting really crazy. I need you to wrangle him in.”
Danneel at least looked sympathetic and she smiled at Jared for a moment before
stepping back. “So you’re coming?”
“Yeah, in just a minute.” Jensen nodded and glared until she turned and fled.
When he looked over at Jared he could tell the moment was over and he sighed.
“Are you okay? Do you want to come inside?”
"You think you'll be long? I mean, I could maybe wait. Well, I guess that's
stupid." Jared sighed. He really kind of felt crappy. "Maybe I'll find Chad and
see if he'll run me home. Probably won't," he muttered. Hauling himself up off
the floor he pressed a hand to his head. "Can you get drunk and have a hangover
before you even go to bed?"
“I don’t think so, but maybe you’re special.” Jensen grinned and shook his
head, grabbing Jared’s arm and tugging him up. “Hey look, wait for like, five
minutes. And I’ll give you a ride home. I really don’t mind. It’s on my way.
Will you wait?” He touched Jared’s arm, smiling up at him with maybe a little
too much hope.
"Really? You don't mind?" Jared leaned back against the wall in relief. The
last place that he wanted to be was inside in the middle of all the noise and
people. "I shouldn't drink so much beer." Groaning he reached out and squeezed
Jensen's arm. "I'd really appreciate a ride home."
“I really don’t mind. Here, take your coat. I’ll be five minutes at the most.”
Jensen shrugged out of the coat and shifted forward to tuck it behind Jared’s
shoulders, leaning against his chest for a long moment. “And no more beer.” He
smiled up at Jared, touching his chest for an extended beat before pushing back
and heading quickly inside the building.
Jared slid back down to the floor of the deck again. The whole beer on an empty
stomach thing wasn’t working out so well for him. Except for the Jensen bit.
That bit was actually turning out to be kind of cool.
Sure, Jared had seen Jensen around school. Everyone knew who he was because he
was the gay guy. Jared wasn’t stupid, he knew there were probably more gay guys
at the school but Jensen was the only one brave enough to actually be okay with
himself.
Quarterback of the football team and Jared still wasn’t okay with himself. He
wasn’t even sure half the time who he really was. The whole photograph thing
had kind of brought that home. He had shown the photo to Chad and Chad had just
laughed his ass off. Meg’s friend had taken a shot of Jared while he was on the
bench. He remembered that part of the game, he wasn’t actually even thinking
about football. He was kind of lost in his thoughts about all the stupid things
that he had to do that he was anxious about. There was a big dance, the Prom,
graduation, filling out college applications and deciding how much further he
wanted to go with the whole football thing. It kind of sucked.
And not dating anyone? Well, that was kind of crappy too. There were a lot of
reasons for it. Katie had been fun, but Jared had realized that he didn’t want
to hang out with someone just to have fun all the time. Sometimes? He actually
wanted to have serious conversations. Chad told him all the time that life was
too short for being serious. Jared wasn’t so sure he thought the same way. But
then if you wanted friends, if you wanted the rest of the guys on the team to
hang out with you and invite you along for beers? Well, you didn’t make a point
of trying to have serious conversations and look at portraits of yourself.
Closing his eyes Jared rubbed at his forehead and tugged his jacket closer
around him. The fresh air was nice but he kind of missed having Jensen’s warmth
beside him. He could hear loud voice inside and then some laughter and then the
music came back on again.
When Jensen finally got outside again - probably ten minutes later and he was
going to kill Christian for being an idiot - Jared looked almost asleep against
the wall. Jensen knelt and smiled softly at him, unable to resist reaching out
to gently touch his cheek. “Jared? Jay? You still awake? Not so sure I can
carry you.” Jensen smiled a little more than fondly at Jared, thumb sweeping
over his cheek.
Blinking his eyes open Jared smiled slightly. “Just waitin’ on you. Was colder
once you went inside. Everything okay in there?”
“Christian just made an ass of himself and Katie put him in his place. So,
normal.” Jensen shrugged and laughed softly, stepping back to offer his hand
down to Jared. “Come on, let’s get you home.”
Taking Jensen’s hand, Jared pulled himself up kid of clumsily and stumbled
forward almost into Jensen. He caught Jensen’s shoulders and grinned down at
him as his nose brushed the boy’s forehead. “Sorry,” he muttered.
“No problem.” Jensen whispered and didn’t point out that it really wasn’t a
problem. Jared touching him in any way, definitely a pro. He slid his fingers
over Jared’s arm, taking them down the porch steps. “Let’s just walk to the
front this way. I’d totally lose you in the crowd.” Jensen watched Jared out of
the corner of his eye for a moment before slipping his arm around his middle.
“You gonna make it okay?”
“Yeah, you’re takin’ care of me, right?” Jared managed to get his arm over
Jensen’s shoulders and pull him a little closer. “How come you and I don’t hang
out, Jensen?”
“It’s complicated. And, I don’t play football, or basketball, I get the feeling
that takes up a lot of your time.” Jensen smiled and wrapped his other arm
around Jared; no matter how much more difficult it made it to walk.
“Hose.” Jensen laughed and tugged Jared around the green bundle, turning his
nose just barely into Jared’s shoulder. He was going to remember this night for
as long as he lived.
"But we can talk though right? I mean, I know I'm probably not as smart as some
of your friends but I can't listen good. I'm not always like this. Drunk, I
mean. I was nervous before and Chad said beer was a good idea. I think he's a
douche." Jared nodded knowingly and lifted his hand to the back of Jensen's
neck. "I would like us to hang out more, okay?" He couldn't think of a single
reason why they hadn't spent time together before.
Jensen’s heart flipped in his chest and he wet his lips, squeezing Jared around
the middle softly. “Okay, but you have to promise you stop saying things like
you’re not smart. You’re plenty smart. And you’re a great athlete. And maybe
your taste in friends is questionable but that’s okay, being friends with me
will clearly make up for it.” Jensen laughed softly and slowly pulled Jared
down the street to his car. “I said I’d go with you tomorrow.”
"That's right!" Jared laughed and curled his arm around Jensen's neck and
pulled him in. "You did say yes." Grinning he buried his nose in Jensen's hair.
"Dude, your hair is way softer than I thought and it smells really good." Jared
sniffed again and slid his hand up into Jensen's hair. "I like it." He loved it
when girl’s smelled good, and guys, well, most of the guys that Jared hung out
with spent a lot of time not smelling so great at all.
“You’re a very handsy and friendly drunk. So that’s, you know, good.” Jensen
laughed weakly, a little caught up on the fact that he was now semi-hard in his
jeans and Jared was still sniffing his hair. This could go so many wrong places
if he wasn’t careful. Thankfully, they were approaching his car and Jensen
pulled his keys from his pocket, stopping to gently push Jared against the back
door. “This is my car. Now, you promise not to get sick on the seats right?
Because as much as I like you, I will never forgive you for a permanent vomit
scent. So none of that, right?” He smiled up at the swaying Jared; resisting
telling him how adorable he looked when he was this drunk.
Blinking slowly Jared nodded and then saluted. "Yes, Sir. I'ma be good." He
held on to Jensen's shoulder and half leaned against the car. It wasn't like he
was that drunk, in fact, he was already starting to feel a little better. Maybe
it was because they were moving around, maybe the beer was just starting to
wear off.
“I shall hold you to it.” Jensen laughed and unlocked the door without moving
away from Jared, tugging it open and standing back. “Come on handsome, get in.”
Jensen gestured to the passenger seat, laughing softly at the way Jared seemed
distracted by the leaves on the trees.
Jared slid along the car a little and then pushed himself off it so he could
try and stand there for a moment. "Listen, Jensen. In case I forget later? This
is really great, you're really great. Okay? I mean - I know that we don't talk
at school and stuff but this is... well, this is kinda sweet." Jared leaned
forward and pressed his lips quickly to Jensen's cheek. "You're awesome."
Losing his balance just enough, Jared fell back into the car and landed -
thankfully - on the seat.
Once Jared was safe in his seat, Jensen closed the door and slowly, carefully,
walked around to the back of his car. Out of Jared’s eyesight, Jensen lifted
his hand and touched his cheek, breathing hard enough it should be lethal. He
may have also jumped up and down a few times but he was not admitting to that.
A kiss on the cheek should not turn him into a twelve year old freaking out
about Justin Bieber or something but god this was Jared.
Smoothing down the front of his Dior shirt, Jensen inhaled a few solid times
then walked to the driver’s side, tugging the door open and sliding in behind
the wheel. He glanced over at Jared who was a little slouched forward in the
seat but at least buckled in and smiled. “Thank you, for saying that stuff.
It’s sweet.” He continued to smile until he turned the car on and the
soundtrack for Chicago burst out, Catherine Zeta Jones belting ‘All That Jazz’
to the best of her abilities. Jensen flushed and quickly jabbed the volume
button, shrugging over at Jared. “I like show tunes.”
Jared laughed and reached out to pat Jensen on the thigh. "It's a gay thing
right?" Still laughing he turned and pressed his hand to the window. "Hey it's
your friend Danneel. Does she need a ride too?" Jared was a little afraid of
Danneel, she was kind of one of those eat him alive girls.
“She’s not getting one.” Jensen mumbled and rolled down Jared’s window, biting
at his smile when Jared laughed as his hand consequently slid down too.
Danneel leaned down, exposing far too much cleavage as she peered into the car.
“Hey Jared. And Jensen, I just wanted to remind you about practice tomorrow
morning.”
“Dani, they make cell phones for a reason you know. Text message, use it.”
Jensen narrowed his eyes, even more so when it seemed Jared’s gaze was drawn to
Danneel’s boobs. God, he loved the girl but if she wasn’t gonna give it up she
didn’t need to dress like a man wearing a chicken suit outside of KFC. Or
whatever. There was the possibility Jensen was a little distracted by the fact
that Jared’s fingers were sort of half draped over his thigh. “I’ll be there.”
“Of course you will. Jared, how you feeling? You look a little uh, a lot,
drunk.” Danneel smiled honey sweet at Jared, shooting Jensen a knowing look.
Jared glanced up and did a double take. Danneel’s cleavage was like, right in
front of his nose. Staring for a few moments, Jared blew out a breath then
turned to look at Jensen. "I'm ... he's - Jensen's takin' good care of me. He's
sweet." Jared kept his gaze down not wanting to stare at Danneel's shirt - or
lack thereof.
Smiling rather suddenly, Jared turned to Jensen. “Hey, maybe you could stay at
my place tonight or I could stay at your place. I could make sure that you get
up and go to your - where does he have to go, Dani?” Jared turned back to the
window and looked up at Danneel.
At the same Jensen’s stomach rolled, Danneel’s smile brightened and she reached
out to pat Jared’s arm. “You are so sweet and considerate! You should totally
stay at Jensen’s. He’s just got musical practice in the morning. You could come
with; we always need help with set building. I mean, if you don’t mind painting
and construction stuff.”
“Dani, Jared probably has a thousand things better to do on a Saturday morning
then work on set building for a musical.” Jensen pointed out. On the speakers
the song shifted to Funny Honey and Jensen sort of felt like he’d maybe entered
a musical that was now his life.
"It'd be fun, Jensen. I don't mind -and I can sleep anywhere - my brother says
I could sleep through a hurricane. Thanks Dani. You have a good night." Jared
fumbled with the window and rolled it back up in Danneel's face. “Can we drive
away from her boobs now?” He laughed softly and turned his face away from the
window. It wasn’t that he didn’t like a nice low cleavage but man, Danneel was
kind of over-selling it.
Jensen felt a little thrill of victory and he half waved at Danneel before
shifting into drive and heading down the street. “You know, she’s a virgin.”
Jensen pointed out, hoping that wasn’t the sort of thing that Jared liked or
something. Except, unless it applied to him. “I mean, that’s not a bad thing, I
just know people think the wrong thing about her and I don’t know why she plays
it up but, she’s never been with anyone. She’s not a whore.”
"Hey," Jared frowned, "I didn't think she was. I just ... I'm sorry. The virgin
thing - that's cool - I think that's not such a bad thing. S'not bad at all
really." Jared shrugged and looked down at his fingers as his hands twisted
together. He certainly hadn't meant to imply anything bad about Jensen's
friend.
“No, I wasn’t...” Jensen laughed softly and patted Jared’s thigh. “I was just
telling you. I know you don’t talk shit about people, you’re not like that.”
Sandy and Danneel told him he’d built Jared up so much in his mind that he
couldn’t possible live up to that but this night proved it wrong. Even drunk
Jared was the nicest and sweetest person ever. “So you really want to stay
over? My bed’s pretty big.” Jensen blinked at the road, thought about Jared in
his bed, and bit his lip. “Or, uh, there’s the floor. Or a guest room. The
couch. You sure?”
"That's too many choices." Jared's mind was kind of spinning again. "I don't
wanna sleep in the living room and have your mom and dad wake up and like walk
over me in the morning. Think I'm a burglar or something." Jared brushed his
hair back off his forehead. "You got soda at your house? I'm thirsty."
“You’ll get water and be happy about it.” Jensen laughed again, maybe a little
too giddy. “But for the record, if you wake up in the morning and want to take
back everything, that’s okay. I mean, the set building stuff, you don’t have
too.” Part of Jensen didn’t want to get his hopes up. It was hard to say just
how much Jared would remember when he woke up.
“Set stuff is okay. Do you have lots of pillows on your bed? I love having like
a mound of pillows.” Jared smiled and sank down a little on the seat. “I don’t
wanna sleep on the floor; I got trouble with my back. Happens when you’re tall.
You’re pretty tall - you get a sore back sometimes?” Jared turned his head and
watched Jensen driving.
“I have one of those therapeutic beds.” Jensen mumbled and tightened his
fingers on the wheel. He couldn’t really talk much more about beds and pillows
and Jared being on his bed. He was sort of starting to wonder if this was all
one big practical joke but no, Jared was too nice for that.
Thankfully he didn’t live that far away and when he pulled into the driveway
Jared was still watching him and still kind of smiling. Jensen couldn’t help
smiling back. “Okay Mr. drunky,” Jensen paused for a moment to cringe at the
name before continuing, “Let’s get inside without waking my parents up okay?”
Chuckling, Jared managed to get his door open and was waiting when Jensen came
around to the passenger side of the car. “I will be quiet as a mouse,” Jared
whispered. Grinning, he raised his eyebrows and closed the car door as quietly
as he could.
“I highly doubt that.” Jensen laughed and pressed his hand into the small of
Jared’s back, guiding him around to the side of the house. “My room is kind of
the attic, my parents had it built on for my older brother and when he moved
out I inherited it. It’s still part of the house but there’s a back entrance
too.” Jensen loved showing people his room because it felt secluded even if it
wasn’t at all. And well, he did kind of want to impress Jared. “Good for
stairs?”
“Yup, I’m a football player, dude.” Jared was trying to keep his voice down, he
really was but it seemed awfully quiet in Jensen’s driveway after the chaos of
the party and all the show tunes that were now stuck in his head.
“Yeah, dude. Sorry, how could I forget?” Jensen snorted and shook his head,
pushing Jared forward and making him go first up the stairs. It seemed like it
took him some real concentration but well, Jensen was shamelessly watching his
ass move and not complaining about however long it took him to go.
This was probably a really bad idea. “Let me just get my key.” Jensen muttered
when they got to the top of the stairs, nudging Jared out of the way. “You’re
gonna pass out the minute we get inside huh?”
“You tired?” Jared moved back just enough for Jensen to get to the door. “I was
kinda hoping we could talk or somethin’ for a while. I can be quiet though if
you want.” Jared mimed zipping his lips when Jensen looked over at him.
Jensen smiled fondly at Jared, just barely resisting touching his hair or
something else too super sweet. How did Jared just melt his insides like this?
“We can talk. Come on.” Jensen pushed the door open to his room, leading the
way in and instantly kicking off his shoes. Thankfully he’d done laundry
earlier so the room wasn’t too super messy, not that he imagined Jared’s would
be clean. “Stay here, I’m gonna get you some water and Advil okay? You can get
comfortable if you want.” Jensen gestured to the bed before heading for the
door across the room.
“Okay.” Jared watched Jensen disappear through another door and looked around.
He could hardly see anything because it was still kinda dark but he spotted the
bed and it looked really comfortable. Shrugging out of his jacket Jared dropped
it on the floor and then thought that was kind of slobby and picked it up
again. Walking over to the desk in the corner he hung his jacket over the
chair. He almost fell over pulling his boots off and had a far easier time with
his t-shirt and jeans. Hanging all his clothes over the chair he stumbled back
toward and bed, sat down hard and let himself fall back. It was very soft.
Jensen tiptoed back down the hall to his room, closing the door slowly and
crossing over to set the water and Advil on the nightstand. “Okay, I got-” his
voice caught in his throat when he flicked the light on and found Jared
sprawled on his bed in nothing but black tight, cotton jersey boxers. It was
like his own live action porn or something. Only it was Jared, and there wasn’t
so much porn but Jesus no one their age should have such sculpted abs. And
thighs. And well, the tightness of his minimal clothing left very little to the
imagination.
Jared leaned his head back on the bed and peered up at Jensen. “Water? I got
comfy, you don’t mind do you? Ever since I was a kid - I hated wearing much to
bed. I sleep naked - but you know - I won’t do that to you.” Rolling over Jared
crawled toward Jensen and the nightstand and managed to get the glass.
“Thanks,” he muttered before draining half the water.
Something close to a squeak left Jensen’s lips and he held up the Advil,
relieved when Jared took it even though their fingers brushed and just, fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. There was no way Jensen could handle sleeping in bed with
Jared in next to nothing. He’d probably end up having a wet dream and wake up
dry humping the poor, sweet, lovable quarterback who’d be scarred for the rest
of his life.
“So, bed. Yeah.” Jensen muttered and turned away, tugging off his own shirt and
hesitating a moment before pushing out of his jeans. “I um, usually sleep by
the wall. Is that okay?” Jensen forced himself to turn back to Jared, feeling
surprisingly self-conscious with his complete lack of muscles and faded blue
boxers.
Jared nodded and rolled over after putting the empty glass back on the
nightstand. Struggling with the quilt for a few moments he finally managed to
get underneath it and smiled up at Jensen. “You gettin’ in?”
Jensen didn’t know why he’d thought that drunk Jared would put together the
fact that the only way to the spot on the bed beside the wall was past him and
therefore he should get up long enough for Jensen to get in. Now he was facing
the inevitable and just thinking about climbing over Jared had Jensen’s body
reacting... more. So he quickly flipped off the light and stepped forward,
clearing his throat. “I’m uh, gonna climb over you, real fast.”
Sinking down onto the edge of the bed, Jensen held his breath and scooted
forward, reaching out until he was touching the lump that was Jared’s body over
the quilt. “Tug the quilt up, I always tuck it in at the sides and... just
pull, so I can get in when I get to the other side of you.” Jensen laughed
weakly, wondering if this moment could possibly get any more weird - or
amazing.
Jared laughed and buried his face in the pillow as he tried to yank the quilt
out. “I can’t,” he whispered. Dissolving into laughter again, Jared rolled over
and tugged harder. “Help me, dude, this bed is like Fort Knox.”
“My bed is awesome. You’re just too drunk to make it work.” Jensen laughed and
tugged at the blanket, scowling when it wouldn’t come free. “I’m not used to
having another body in the bed. Look, forget it, I’ll just get under the quilt
here and then it won’t be an issue.” Which - because Jensen’s luck was all
convoluted at the moment - meant he’d be sliding over Jared’s basically naked
body without the blanket. “Dude! Stop giggling! I’ve got to get to the other
side of the bed.”
Holding the blanket up, Jared shifted further down trying not to laugh. “Hurry
up, it’s cold,” he whispered. As soon as Jensen was half lying on the mattress
Jared kind of tossed the blanket back over him and slipped an arm under the
other boy to help roll him over. “You’re a goof,” he teased and grinned.
“Hardly.” Jensen scoffed and - for one blissful moment - his body was nearly
flush with Jared’s until he was once more on the cool mattress, confined by the
blanket still tucked in and Jared’s warmth too close and not nearly close
enough. The room was dark but his eyes were adjusting and Jared’s laughter was
trailing off into soft hiccuppy breaths. Jensen bit on his lip, folding his
arms over his chest to keep from touching Jared no matter how much he wanted
too. “Are you virgin?” He blurted out and closed his eyes; half praying Jared
had magically passed out already.
Snorting with laughter, Jared rolled over so quickly he got tangled up in the
blanket. “Hell of a question to ask a guy on the first date.” Jared laughed
softly and shifted a little closer. “It’s freaking cold in here man, don’t you
freeze at night?” Shivering Jared scooted over until he was pressed up against
Jensen’s side. “I am a virgin, but if you tell anyone I’ll kick your ass. No I
won’t. But don’t... okay?”
“I really don’t think it’s a bad thing you know. To be a virgin. It should be
special right? I don’t get why everyone always makes such a big deal about
losing that.” Jensen could feel the heat of Jared’s body and he finally caved
rolling toward and shifting forward until their knees touched. “And it’s not
usually so cold in here; my dad must have turned the heat down. Are you okay?
You’re shaking.” Jensen could just barely see Jared’s hazel eyes in the faint
light from the window and he smiled softly at him.
"I'm freezing," Jared muttered. And maybe he was a little bit nervous, and
maybe a little bit uncomfortable about just how comfortable it was to be so
close to Jensen. "And... yeah. I'm cold. Are you cold?" He could see Jensen
watching him and smiled, suddenly feeling a little shy now they'd stopped
laughing.
“Yeah.” Jensen nodded and tried not to think about how easy it would be to
touch Jared’s abs, just one little twitch forward. “I won’t tell anyone, okay?”
He whispered and shifted just an inch or so forward.
"Feel my hand," Jared murmured. He slid his fingers along the small space
between them and curled them over Jensen's waist. Jensen was really warm, and
kinda of soft and hard all at the same time. It was pretty nice considering he
was a guy - which Jared was suddenly considering quite a lot.
“It’s freezing.” Jensen half gasped for a lot of reasons - mainly the cold
though. “Mine too though.” He mumbled and pressed his own hand against Jared’s
chest. He knew his breath was coming a little fast again, and his body was
heating up now because of the small contact, but so far Jared hadn’t freaked so
that had to be okay. “Think you win the cold contest.”
“Sorry,” Jared bit down on his bottom lip for a few moments. “You want me to
move? I could put my shirt on or something.” He didn’t move, because he didn’t
really want to. He was kind of liking just lying there in the dark with Jensen.
He felt like he could say anything he wanted to - and it would be just between
them.
“No,” Jensen whispered and - because he occasionally liked being reckless -
scooted forward, slowly pressing up against Jared’s chest and letting his hand
slid around to his back. Jensen shifted a little lower on the bed, closed his
eyes and held his breath as his head rested on Jared’s chest. “Okay?” He barely
breathed the word, bracing himself for Jared’s only gently style of rejection.
"Yeah," Jared said quietly. It was kinda, really okay. Jensen was warm and
smelled so good, and Jared was actually really liking the way it felt to be
pressed up against the other boy. He slid one arm under Jensen’s pillow and
snaked his other arm over Jensen’s hip. When Jensen didn’t move away, Jared
pressed his palm flat against the small over the boy’s back. Sighing happily he
felt himself relaxing down into the mattress. “Can I ask you something?”
A little part of Jensen was nervous about the question Jared might have but at
this point not much could change the way his heart was happily racing. God it
felt amazing to be held by Jared. “Yeah,” Jensen murmured against Jared’s
chest, slowly letting his entire body relax into the touch. He didn’t
understand how it could feel so natural but he kind of loved that.
"Have you always liked guys? I mean... like right back or did you ever like
girls?" Jared's fingers moved in small circles on Jensen's back. He liked the
way the skin was so smooth under his fingertips.
Jensen felt like this question was important in a way he didn’t quite know so
he was quiet for a few moments, trying to decide how best to answer it. “I
thought I would like girls; because guys normally do you know? But then I
realized I was different, that I liked guys more and then that I didn’t like
girls at all. It’s different for everyone I guess, from what I’ve read. I think
mine was gradual acceptance. Does it bother you?” He asked even though they
were pressed together and the answer should be obvious.
“What? That you like guys? ‘Course not.” It didn’t bother Jared at all actually
which he was finding a little bit surprising. “Is this okay? I mean - I never
thought - would you rather we weren’t-” Clearing his throat Jared pulled back a
little.
“Don’t.” Jensen tilted his head up, smiling uncertainly at Jared. “If it’s okay
with you, it’s okay with me. It feels good.” He wasn’t going to try and hide
behind an excuse like for the heat. Jared knew who he was and Jensen hadn’t
changed before for anyone, he wouldn’t now. Which didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt
if Jared pulled away. “But if you’re not comfortable...”
“I’m comfortable,” Jared said quickly. Tightening the circle of his arms he
pulled Jensen closer. “I really like you, Jensen. I’m glad we finally got a
chance to spend some time together.” His eye lids were getting heavy now that
he was finally getting warming. Sliding his hand out from under the pillow,
Jared threaded his fingers into Jensen’s hair and hummed softly as he relaxed.
“I really like you too Jared.” Jensen managed to whisper and let his head
settle back on Jared’s chest, the boy's fingers a warm weight in his hair. He
wasn’t sure he was going to get any sleep but that was okay, he’d much rather
stay awake and memorize every detail of this moment because when Jared woke in
the morning, it might not be the same. It was almost enough to have Jensen
considering the best ways to spike all of Jared’s beverages from now on just to
have this. “Night Jared.” He whispered after a long extended silence.
Sighing, Jared nuzzled sleepily into Jensen’s hair and kissed the top of his
head.
***** Chapter 2 *****
When Jensen woke up he kept his eyes closed and told himself over and over that
this wasn’t a dream, that the warm arms around him and body he was half draped
across was actually Jared’s and yes, the night before had happened. He even
thought he could still feel the lingering press of lips on his temple and that
was enough to make all his inner girly bits flaily a bit. More than a bit.
Then Jensen realized he was kind of hard and well, there was a suspicious heat
against his thigh which very well could be Jared’s own morning wood. Jensen
reminded himself that they were both seventeen and this was just a normal part
of life but fuck, how was he supposed to ignore it? Not like he was going to
molest Jared in his sleep or something. If he could resist molesting him when
he was drunk, then he could resist it now.
Tilting his head up, Jensen watched Jared’s pulse move for a long moment before
he shifted back just slightly, reluctantly moving his hips away. He didn’t want
Jared to wake up and instantly regret things. Maybe Jensen would get a few
minutes of luxury before that happened. God Jared looked good asleep,
unsurprisingly. His hair was just barely ruffled by the pillow, his face was
completely smooth and relaxed and there was maybe just a little smile on his
lips.
Jensen wanted to kiss him so bad it hurt. He’d never kissed anyone in his life
before and Jared’s lips looked so soft. He glanced over at his poster of David
Beckham by his bed as if the man could give him some wisdom before but
considering the tacky Spice Girl he was married to, Becks wasn’t going to be a
lot of help. And, when he looked back down at Jared, the boy’s eyes were slowly
blinking open. Jensen was still half sprawled over him though it was more than
warm under the covers and he was halfway through wetting his lips.
Because that wasn’t going to freak Jared out at all, of course not. “Morning.”
He whispered, voice a little rough, nervous smile on his lips.
A little disoriented, Jared looked around the room then his gaze settled back
on Jensen. "My protector," he murmured sleepily. Arching his back up off the
mattress in a long and very satisfying stretch, he groaned. When he tried to
lift his arm and rub at his eyes he realized he was still kind of - pretty much
- okay he actually was holding Jensen against his side. Turning to smile shyly
down at Jensen he said, "Mornin'."
That smile, the one where Jared sort of dipped his head down but his lips
stretched wide and his shiny white teeth almost sparkled, was going to be the
death of Jensen. He wet his lips and slowly smiled back, shifting so his hand
land flat on Jared’s chest. “Sleep well? How you feelin’?” He’d been hoping the
Advil and water would have cured the harshest part of Jared’s hangover.
Closing his eyes again Jared did a quick inventory. Other than a bit of a
headache he seemed okay. Well, that and that fact that he was hard and was in
bed with the only openly gay guy at his high school. "Yeah, good, uh... I drank
too much, I guess." Jared shifted away a little, not wanting Jensen to feel how
turned on he was. Because, yeah, it wasn't just waking up with the usual hard-
on - this was like - oh-my-god-Jensen-feels-good kind of hard.
“A little yeah.” Jensen laughed softly and loosened his grip, shifting back a
little more. But he wasn’t quite strong enough to get himself to move off
Jared’s chest so he stared down at his blanket, biting at his lip until it felt
numb. “I slept well,” he finally blurted out, looking up at Jared. “You’re kind
of like a heating pad.”
"Sorry, I - well, I'm not used to. Do you do this a lot? Bring home strays from
parties?" Jared was breathing a little too fast and closed his eyes for a few
moments. Jensen was just right there - and he smelled really good - all sleep
warm and messed up he was kinda hot. And, Jared just shouldn't even be thinking
stuff like that.
“No, I never have,” Jensen whispered, watching the flush growing on Jared’s
cheeks. Could he really still be feeling this thing? Maybe it wasn’t just him
being drunk the night before, maybe this was something and all those years of
crushing on Jared weren’t going to be fruitless. He pushed his hands into the
sheets on either side of Jared’s body and - in an act of crazy bravado - he
shifted a little closer until he was staring down into Jared’s face, their
noses were almost touching, and his hips were right there against Jared’s
thigh. God he’d never felt anything like this with anyone. “Do you let random
guys take you home after parties often?”
Jared let out a long shaky breath and stared up into Jensen's eyes. His hands
fluttered for a moment and God he wanted to just wrap them around the boy but
this was all - Jared's mind kind of blanked when Jensen's hips shifted a
little. "Jensen, I- there's..." Settling one hand on Jensen's back Jared
finally managed to shake his head. "No, I don't - I don't go home with guys. I
mean-" Jared sucked in a tight breath.
“Yeah, I know,” Jensen whispered, knowing that Jared was probably trying to say
something that pointed out the fact that he was straight. Only, when Jared
shifted just a little more to the side, he could feel the heat of Jared’s
morning hardness and it made all the air whoosh out of his lungs at a painful
rate. “I think it’s a good thing, that you don’t go home with random guys.”
Jensen smiled softly and moved his thigh up just an inch to rub along Jared.
That was enough alone to make him think he might come because holy shit.
Jared's entire body kind of tingled and he couldn't help jumping slightly
because, yeah, this just shouldn't feel as good as it did. It was like all his
insides were all flying around all over and he could hardly breathe and Jensen
was just as hard as he was - which was good - but bad and not that way Jared
normally woke up on a Saturday morning. "Fuck," he spat, "what time is it?"
Pushing at Jensen gently, Jared rolled over and glanced at the clock on the
nightstand. “Nine... fuck. I gotta - Coach is gonna. There’s this thing...”
Jared rolled out of the warmth of Jensen’s bed and hurried over to snatch his
jeans off the back of the chair. He didn’t even look up until he had them
fastened and was tugging his shirt down over his head. “I forgot, Jensen. This
isn’t what I thought I’d be-” Jared groaned. If he kept getting his words all
mixed up and confused he certainly wouldn’t have to worry about Jensen ever
hanging out with him again.
The worst part, Jensen thought, was how cold he suddenly felt without Jared
there in bed with him. And the way he could still feel Jared’s fingers
lingering on his skin from where he’d pushed away. He’d never seen anyone move
so fast either and Jensen clutched his blanket to his chest, blinking slowly
over at Jared. “Okay.” He said quietly, not sure what else to say at that
point. “Do you want some pop tarts or something? Or a ride?” Jensen was pretty
sure his voice sounded weak so he tried for a smile too and held the quilt just
a little tighter.
"Ride? No. You live close to the school right? I'll just - I can run - then
I'll be warmed up when I get there. Shit..." Jared nearly fell over trying to
get his socks on and his feet shoved into his boots. "Tell Dani I'm sorry -
about the - wasn't there a thing this morning?" Jared groaned again and took a
few steps back toward the door he was sure they came in the night before.
Jensen was just kind of staring at him, all wide-eyed and looking a bit
confused. Jared just wanted to sit back down and tell him about a million
things but even if he wasn’t actually going to get his ass royally kicked he
wasn’t sure he would have known what to say.
“Don’t worry about it,” Jensen forced himself not to whisper, trying to make
his voice sound normal and less like he felt as if his heart was being squeezed
too tight. “Jared?” He had no idea what would happen next but he had a feeling
it wasn’t going to be an invitation to join Jared for a night of snuggling once
more. Jensen thought he’d be lucky if he didn’t get his ass kicked on Monday.
It was one thing to be openly gay, another entirely too blatantly hit on the
now sober quarterback. “Be safe,” he finally mumbled, looking away from Jared
finally.
"I ... yeah. 'Course. I'll see you later, okay? Thanks for the ride -and for,
you know, not letting me get in trouble last night." Scratching at his head,
Jared tugged his coat tighter and fumbled with the lock on the back door until
he finally managed to get it open. Turning back for a moment he opened his
mouth to speak - but Jensen had the weird look on his face. Jared kind of
wondered if Jensen wasn't a little bit relieved that Jared was leaving. "Okay,
well, bye for now." Jared slipped outside and closed the door quietly.
He didn't really have time to think about much because Coach Morgan really was
going to kill him because there was no way Jared was going to make it to the
field on time. Bolting down the stairs he broke into a run.
For a long few minutes Jensen simply stared at the closed door. The room felt
far too quiet, the weight too much pressing in on his chest. This was stupid;
he’d always known that Jared was the straight, all popular, high school
quarterback. So one night where he drank too much and cuddled with Jensen in
his bed, that was just a matter of alcohol and Jared was probably having some
internal freak out about his semi-gay moment that morning. Jensen really had to
brace himself for the worse on this side.
But it was pretty likely that Jared would just go out of his way to avoid him
after this. And well, that was actually worse. Because Jensen had thought maybe
they could at least be friends. And he would have taken that any day, crush or
not, Jensen would be content just to be Jared’s friend because he was just that
amazing. Now Jensen had screwed it up, basically dry humped the quarterback and
was maybe inches from kissing him.
God, his first kiss had almost been like, a rape kiss. Could you rape kiss
someone? Yeah, Jensen was an idiot. A big, flaming, rainbow flag owning idiot.
Speaking of, he wondered if Jared had paused long enough to see the big rainbow
flag hanging on the wall over his computer desk. Probably not.
Rolling over, Jensen grabbed his phone, tugging it close and pressing his lips
together for a long moment. If he sent a text now he’d have a thousand
questions to answer but well, he just couldn’t ignore it.
Jensen: Dani, I f’d up. Come get me k?
Barely a minute later he was rolling off the bed to head for the shower and his
phone chirped, because Danneel naturally was probably already showered and
dressed.
Dani: Shit. b there n 10
Jensen sighed and shook his head, tossing his phone to the side and heading for
the bathroom. Danneel would let herself in, they’d known each other since they
were four anyway, so Jensen could go and drown himself in the shower for a
while. Or, well, jack off to thoughts of Jared’s heat soaking all around him.
-=-=-=-
“Jen, open up the door, god what are you doing? Haven’t you applied your make
up yet?” Danneel tapped for the fourth time on the bathroom door and sighed
heavily. “What did you do? Molest him or something?”
Jensen groaned and dropped his brush, tugging the bathroom door open. He’d made
himself dress nice because it helped his mood so Danneel’s gaze swept
appreciatively over his form fitting jeans and tight white wife beater. He
rolled his eyes when she whistled and brushed past her. “It was all fine, we
were cuddling and he kissed my temple and he was hard, I was hard, I thought it
was okay. I might have shifted a little closer, there was definite rubbing and
almost kissing and then he was just pushing me away and going on about having
to be somewhere.”
“Whoa there gay boy, slow down your ponies and take a breather.” Danneel’s
voice echoed from the bathroom where she had been checking her make up before
turning to him. “Rubbing and almost kissing? So you did molest him?”
“I nearly rape kissed him! Oh. My. God. I nearly jumped the quarterback and
love of my life.” Jensen whimpered and shoved his closet door open, flicking
back and forth through the shirts hanging there. “Dani, I can’t ever go to
school again. I’m going to barricade myself in my room with Oreo Cakesters and
Cheez-Its and Red Bull and just get fat and watch bad horror movies for the
rest of my life.”
When Jensen finally finished his rant and turned back to Danneel, she was
biting her lip and holding her cheeks to keep from bursting into laughter. “Did
you take your essence of drama pills this morning? Is there something in your
water that makes you extra super ridiculously retarded?”
Jensen was not surprised by Danneel’s lack of sympathy but it wasn’t really
what he wanted to hear at a time like this. He should have texted Sandy, she
was much better at coddling him when he needed it most. “You’re a bitch. You’re
supposed to like, be my friend or something. This is the part where you stroke
my hair and tell me I haven’t scarred poor Jared and that he’s gonna fall madly
in love with me and we’ll get married and live happily ever after.”
Danneel sighed and crossed to him, her lips pursing together in a frown. “I’m
pretty sure you haven’t scarred Jared, okay?”
She reached up to stroke his hair but Jensen ducked away, scowling her.
“Figuratively bitch, don’t touch my hair.”
Danneel snorted and shook her head. “Your mom didn’t actually give birth to
you, I’m pretty sure you grew from the roots of drama on the queer tree.”
Arching his eyebrows, Jensen looked over at Danneel. “You really need to work
on your retorts.” Judging from the way her face scrunched up she felt pretty
similar. “He wanted me to apologize to you, for not making it this morning. He
didn’t really apologize to me, but I didn’t want him too. Dani, he was hard,
and I thought maybe he’d kiss me, it’s just. God, you should have heard us, we
were really hitting it off, seriously.”
Danneel reached into the closet to pull out his silky black button down,
pressing it into his chest. “I’m sure you were hitting it off, he’s a nice guy.
You’re a nice guy. And uh... well, you two could probably be good friends.”
There was enough in that statement to have Jensen swallowing thickly. Danneel
could be a bitch, she was always honest though and she wouldn’t sugar coat it
for Jensen if she thought he needed to hear the truth. This time though, he
kind of wished that she would just so he could pretend. “Is that your way of
telling me that quarterbacks don’t come dancing out of the closet with sequence
and glitter blasting Glambert and singing at the top of their lungs?”
“Jen, you’ve liked Jared for a really long time, it’s gonna hurt if you let
yourself think... just, come on. Don’t get all over worked at this. Things
happened and it was a little weird but it’s over. Other stuff might happen but
you just have to go with it. And, come on, we should get to the gym, we really
need to run through things.”
Jensen didn’t freak out about boys very often - except the mini melt down he’d
had when he’d seen Jared making out with Katie a few months ago at a party and
drank too much as a consequence - so he thought he kind of deserved this one.
But Danneel was right and the longer Jensen over thought it, the worse it would
be.
So he slipped into his nice silk shirt and did up the buttons, checking himself
in the mirror once before schooling his features into something close to his
cheerfully gay exterior and turned to Danneel. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go.”
For the performance he was going to put on that day? He should probably win an
Oscar.
-=-=-=-
Jensen had forced his way through practice, passed on lunch with Danneel,
Sandy, and Christian, and spent the afternoon watching The Notebook and a Walk
to Remember because chick flicks were his guilty pleasure. He wore sweats while
he curled up on his bed but he dressed again for dinner because he didn’t want
to talk to his parents about his problems and they’d know something was up if
he wore sweats anywhere but his bedroom. Something about the reputation he’d
already established or whatever.
The doorbell rang when he was putting the last of his dishes into the washer
but he didn’t think much about it. He was too busy thinking about how he’d
waste away his night, what the best methods were for ultimate distraction.
Jensen was just debating between watching Fight Club - shirtless Brad Pitt,
hell yeah - and wasting hours away playing Kingdom Hearts when his mom came
down the hall.
“Honey, there’s someone at the door for you.” She leaned against the door
frame, small smile on her lips.
“Dani?” Jensen frowned, wiping his hands on the dry towel.
“No, it’s a boy. I don’t think I know him. Jared?” Her smile was curious,
suspicious maybe, and Jensen’s heart skipped a beat.
“Jared? Really?” Jensen’s eyes shot to the window, checking his reflection and
rapidly rolling down his sleeves. “Do I look okay?”
“Oh, he’s that kind of boy hmm?” Her eyes widened a little and her smile grew.
“You look great.”
Jensen couldn’t tell her the whole story, he so wasn’t ready for that, so he
just laughed softly and shook his head, heading quickly past her and only
slowing when he approached the front door. Jared was standing just inside,
looking amazing in tan slacks and a light blue shirt and Jensen’s mouth got a
little dry. “Hi.” He said quietly, running his hands down his sides. He really
hadn’t expected to see Jared again outside of school.
“Hi.” Jared smiled and stepped a little closer to the door. “I’m a bit early. I
wasn’t sure if I’d have to like meet your parents or something.” When Jensen
looked a little blank Jared shrugged. “When I went out with Katie her dad
wanted to meet me first. You do still want to go right?” For a second Jared
felt the cold trickle of anxiety. What if Jensen hadn’t taken him seriously at
all the night before? Then, great, he’d be standing there at the door all
dressed up looking like a total idiot.
“I didn’t think you’d come back,” Jensen said before he could stop himself and
half laughed, almost in disbelief. “Of course I want to go, I said I would.
And, we’ll have a good time.” Jensen had never been more relieved that he had
this thing about keeping up appearances even when he was depressed. “Do... you
want to meet my parents? You don’t have too. But my mom is kind of hovering
back there.” Jensen pointed over his shoulder, he could feel his mom’s eyes
curious and watching and it made the crazy laugh return.
"Sure." Jared smiled and stepped further inside. When Jensen started to turn
and head down the hallway, Jared reached out and grabbed the boy's hand. "Hey,
listen, about this morning? I really did have practice. I just forgot 'cause I
got all caught up talkin' to you and... I might have-" Jared ducked his head
down and lowered his voice. "I might have been really nervous this morning
'cause of you. And me. And us. And thinking, you know, of you and me like an
us." Wincing, Jared snapped his mouth shut. "Sorry." He definitely babbled when
he was nervous. Squeezing Jensen's hand softly he let go and stepped back.
Jensen stared at Jared until he realized his jaw was half open and he had to
look like an idiot. He quickly shut his mouth and smiled shyly, rubbing along
the back of his neck. “You were thinking about you and I as an us? Really? Well
because, I mean, clearly you know how I feel on the subject and I’m glad I
didn’t totally freak you out because I thought I did.” Jensen laughed weakly
and looked up at Jared, half stepping forward. “But we can still talk about
this? Later or something?”
“Okay, yeah. Sorry. I kinda blurt things out sometimes. I was thinking about it
today. You. It.” Jared brushed his hair back off his forehead and turned when
he heard Jensen’s mom clear her throat. “Oh, hi again Mrs. Ackles.”
Jensen blushed; just knowing that Jared had thought about him throughout his
day was enough to make him want to burst out into a little gay gig right in
front of Jared and his mom. Thankfully he didn’t. “Yeah so, Mom this Jared. And
Dad.” Jensen swallowed thickly when his dad entered the room, nervous smile on
his lips. “Jared is my, um, he’s... a friend from school. We’re going to this
art gallery tonight.”
“It’s nice to meet you Jared.” His mom smiled and offered her hand, stepping
back for his dad to do the same. “You look familiar Jared, have you come over
before?”
Jensen shot Jared a quick look, hoping he’d not mention the night before in any
way.
Letting out a small laugh Jared ran his hand over his hair and grinned down at
Jensen. "No Ma'am, Jensen and I didn't really hang out before but - I mean -
I'd like to." Frowning, Jared sighed, he felt like he kept putting his foot in
his mouth. "I play football Ma'am, maybe you've ... been to a game? Seen me
there?"
“That’s right!” Jensen’s Dad slapped Jared on the shoulder, grinning widely at
him. “I remember seeing you there. Quarterback, right? You scored that winning
touchdown. You know I always said Jensen would man up a little if he’d only
join the team, he already has the build for it and really-”
“Alan, please, leave the poor boy alone.” Donna interrupted, smiling
sympathetically at Jensen for a moment before looking at Jared. “You are a very
good player though, it’s good to see Jensen’s expanding and having some new
friends.
“Wow, you guys are awesome.” Jensen rolled his eyes, feeling uncomfortable and
awkward and staring down at the floor.
"Jensen's really great just the way he is Mr. Ackles. I mean..." Jared blushed
and glanced over at Mrs. Ackles. "I like him just fine, Ma'am." Smiling
slightly when she smiled at him, Jared leaned into Jensen a little. "And, I'm
kind of hoping that we'll be good friends so yeah, I'm glad that Jensen is ...
whatever you said, expanding his whatevers."
“That’s good.” Donna nodded and shot her husband another look before squeezing
Jensen’s arm. “Well you boys go and have fun, don’t do anything too crazy.”
“It’s an art show, mom, I don’t think that’ll be an issue.” Jensen laughed and
shook his head, grabbing Jared’s forearm and tugging him back. “I’ll see you
tomorrow.” Jensen leaned toward Jared, dropping his voice to a whisper. “Let’s
go before my dad starts asking about plays.”
Waving quickly, Jared headed back outside and waited for Jensen, watching as he
pulled his jacket on. "You look real nice, Jensen." Jared could feel that all-
too-common blush again on his cheeks so he turned quickly and headed down the
sidewalk to his car. “Want to take my car? Is that okay?”
Jensen felt a little like things were smacking him left and right and there was
only so much a poor little gay boy could take. “Yeah, we can take your car.”
Jensen nodded and wondered for a moment if this really was a date. Was Jared
going to like, hold his hand or something? Or open his door. Kiss him
goodnight? Oh god, was this Jensen’s first official first date? “I’m excited to
see the picture.” He said quickly, to stop his mind from spinning out of
control as they got to Jared’s car.
Unlocking the car, Jared opened the passenger door and waited for Jensen to
climb in. When he glanced back at the house he could see Jensen's mom peering
through the front curtains. "Your Mom is watching us," he said quietly and
laughed.
“I don’t go out on- with- normally I go out with Dani or Sandy or- you know,
normally it’s not...” Jensen gave up trying to define it and smiled up at
Jared. “You should probably close the door before she thinks you’re going to do
something crazy or something.”
"Crazy?" Jared grinned and reached down. "Hold still, eyelash." Brushing the
lash off Jensen's cheek Jared smiled and stepped back, "there." Closing the
door he turned and waved to Jensen's mom then strode around and climbed behind
the wheel.
Jensen stared at the window at his mom until the car lit up again and he turned
to Jared, smiling softly at him. “You didn’t make a wish.”
"Yes I did." Jared pulled away from the curb and turned the music on low enough
so they could still talk. He was trying not to be nervous but he wasn’t really
sure if Jensen was getting the right idea about what was going on. “I wished
that we would have such a good time tonight that you’ll say yes later.”
“Yes to what?” Jensen’s voice was a little tight and he stared at Jared, half
turned in his seat so the belt was digging into his hip. He thought about
telling Jared he’d say yes no matter what but that seemed a little desperate.
“We gonna get ice cream or something after?” He laughed softly, reaching out to
touch Jared’s arm.
Scratching at his cheek for a moment, Jared glanced quickly over at Jensen and
smiled. "Well, we could - I was thinking a walk by the lake. But - you know - I
was kinda hoping that maybe we'd have enough fun that you'd say yes... to a
second date." Tightening his fingers on the steering wheel Jared steeled
himself for Jensen's reaction. Because really? Jared could be getting the wrong
idea - or hell - Jensen might have an issue being like - the first boy that
Jared was interested in. Now, if Jared could just actually say any of that out
loud - it might be easier.
“Date?” Jensen whispered, swallowing hard once more and slowly grinning. “I-
yeah. I mean, there’s no question there. Of course I will say yes. I didn’t
realize... this morning, I thought that, you know I freaked you out or
something.” Jensen laughed weakly and shook his head. “Sorry, this is all just
really catching me off guard.”
"Oh, is it not..." Jared pulled over to the curb again thankful that they were
at least away from Jensen's house. "Is it not okay? I mean I get that I'm -
well, okay there are more things I don't get actually. But last night, and this
morning... I like you, Jensen. Like that. Like - I want to touch you and I'm -
I did - and it was, this morning was good - and then yeah, I might have freaked
a little - but it never occurred to me that this - might be what I wanted."
Jared's shoulders sagged a little. "I'll get it if you don't want to be ...
like involved in this... mess." Sighing Jared finally looked across at Jensen.
Jensen didn’t mean for it to happen but one moment he was staring at Jared and
the next he was laughing, curling forward as the tension of his overly dramatic
day seeped out of him through the laughter. When he finally stopped he was
crying and Jared was looking somewhere between crushed and confused. “N-no,
Jared, wait. It’s-” He sucked in a shaky breath and reached out, grabbing
Jared’s hand and squeezing. “Seriously? You don’t know? Jared, I’ve had a thing
for you since like, eighth grade. I kind of thought everyone knew, and I kept
expecting you to freak out because you knew about my epic boy crush on you.”
"Really?" Jared's eyes widened a little. "I didn't... wow. No, I didn't know.
But that's okay right? Isn't that okay? I think it's okay." His fingers
threaded through Jensen's and he smiled a little now that he was relieved
enough to breathe.
“Of course it’s okay.” Jensen grinned at him, his heart racing so fast it was
almost painful. “No one has ever asked me out. I- are you sure? This isn’t just
a spur of the moment thing right? Because I really, really like you a lot. And
if suddenly you wake up tomorrow and decide liking guys is too weird for you,
then we should just stop now because I don’t want to get crushed.”
Jared stared over at Jensen for a few moments then reached out and grabbed the
boy's shirt to tug him closer. Their lips smashed together and Jared pulled
back slightly and then it worked - like the pieces kind of fell into place all
of a sudden. Jensen's lips were kind of open, maybe because Jared had shocked
the hell out of him, but either way it worked to Jared's advantage because he
caught Jensen's bottom lip between both of his for a few moments before dipping
his head down. Heat flooded his body and it was kind of like being a little
drunk all over again - only everything was amazingly clear. "I can do that
better I think."
“It gets better?” Jensen whispered and kept his eyes closed, his lips still
barely parted. They were tingling, warm and amazing. Jensen would always
remember this, his first kiss, and with Jared or all people. Finally blinking
his eyes open, Jensen stared at Jared, slowly wetting his lips once more. “That
was my first kiss.”
"Really?" Jared was still holding Jensen's shirt and he let go, smoothing the
material back down but he didn't go anywhere. "I kissed Katie but -" Jared
looked down. "Holy shit it didn't feel like that" When he looked back up his
nose brushed Jensen's cheek and Jared realized that they were both kind of
shaking a little. "We should probably go, right?"
“I guess we have too.” Jensen laughed softly and tilted his head to the side,
shuddering when his lips just barely brushed over Jared’s. “This is really
happening right?”
Nodding Jared laughed a little. "I sure hope so," he almost whispered. His
fingers felt nice the way they were twined with Jensen's and he couldn't resist
closing the distance between them once more and pressing their lips together
gently before pulling back. "I better... we better drive. I should drive.
You're over there."
“Right.” Jensen nodded and dropped back against the passenger seat keeping his
hand linked with Jared’s. He felt so stupidly giddy he almost wished Jared had
some show tunes in his car so he could sing along. “So is your family gonna be
at this thing?”
Jared was using most of his brain to concentrate on driving because holding
Jensen’s hand was pretty distracting. “I, yeah. Well, my mom is going with my
sis. You don’t mind meeting them do you? I mean, I probably won’t call you my
date - ‘cause fuck there’s a whole other conversation I gotta have with my
folks.” Shaking his head Jared laughed and squeezed Jensen’s fingers.
“Yeah, I understand. You’re barely out to yourself, no need to be out to your
whole family too.” Jensen smiled softly and told himself that no, it didn’t
matter that he was going against everything he’d promised himself by dating a
guy who wasn’t out. This was Jared and this was all so new, they needed time to
catch up. “Doesn’t your sister know who I am though? They won’t freak out about
you hanging out with the gay guy will they?”
"God no. Jeff's had this friend since high school is gay - Kent." Jared
laughed. "I remember the first time he stayed over, we had this really
painfully embarrassing family meeting about whether they were dating and how
there were different rules for dating and friends." Groaning, Jared looked over
at Jensen. "Can we stay at your place?" His eyes widened instantly. "I meant -
like later - if. God. I'm gonna do this a lot tonight you know that right?"
“You can stay over again if you want,” Jensen said with a definite fond smile.
“Last night was kind of amazing so you know, I’m going to willingly accept that
and encourage it as often as possible.” He laughed softly and lifted Jared’s
hand, pausing for a moment before pressing his lips to the top. “Don’t worry
about how you act with me tonight okay? Let’s just have a great night and have
lots of fun and then we’ll figure everything else out tomorrow, okay?”
“Yeah, I can probably do that.” Jared grinned and squeezed Jensen’s hand again.
-=-=-=-
By the time they got to the gallery there were a lot of people already packed
inside. Jared felt his nerves sparking up again because all those people were
going to know that it was him in the portrait once they’d looked at it. He
still wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about that.
Climbing out of the car he walked around and smiled nervously at Jensen. “You
ready? ‘Cause I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be nervous. It’ll be fine. I’m sure the picture is going to be
gorgeous.” Jensen smiled up at Jared and bumped into his side. “Seriously,
it’ll all be awesome.” He touched Jared’s side for a long moment before looking
around. “You can try to impress me by showing off your photography knowledge.”
“I’m afraid I might seriously let you down in that department.” Jared laughed
again and headed up to the door of the gallery. Holding the door for Jensen he
let his hand rest briefly on Jensen’s back as they moved inside. There were
some parts of this whole liking a guy thing that Jared could get used to; like
for instance, how muscular Jensen’s back was. Jared absolutely liked that part.
Jensen looked around with wide eyes, wondering just how many people were
showing things at the art show. It was a high school thing, for the special
arts school that Jensen had once thought about applying too before he decided
he didn’t want to be that big of a stereotype. “Wow,” he muttered quietly,
surprised by all the people milling about.
Then a petite brunette was nearly skipping up to them and flying into Jared’s
arms. “You came! I knew you would though really, this is the last place you
want to be. Oh and you brought...” She stepped back from Jared and looked over
at Jensen, eyes widening for a moment. “Jensen Ackles. Hey, I love you last
year in Les Misérables, you were awesome.”
Jensen smiled bright at the girl - who he assumed was Jared’s sister - and slid
his hands into his pockets. “Thank you. Are you Meg?”
“I am! Jared, you talked about me?” Megan grinned over at her brother smacking
his arm. “You do love me!”
“Only kind of. Jensen this is my sister Meg. She’s a little over the top.”
Jared smiled though, because seriously Meg wasn’t all that bad as far as
sisters went.
“Nice to meet you. I have a sister your age too, Mackenzie, but she doesn’t go
to the art school.” Jensen shrugged and shook Meg’s hand.
She kept looking at him funny and Jensen was a little worried about that look.
Especially when she giggled and shook his hand. “It’s really nice to meet you
too. You’re super cute.” She flushed with the words and bounced back on her
heels. “Jared, make sure you go and see Emily’s stuff soon. Okay, bye.”
Jensen watched her bounce away through the crowd and turned to Jared, blinking
a few times. “Well, apparently I’m really cute. So, win for me.”
“Yeah, Meg is kind of doing that a lot lately. Scoping out guys. And you are
cute.” Jared smiled crookedly and slipped his arm over Jensen’s shoulder to
walk him further into the crowd. “Lot of people,” he muttered.
Leaning into Jared’s body, Jensen smiled softly and tried not curl around him
like he so much wanted too. Tilting his head up, Jensen let his lips brush
Jared’s ear and spoke softly. “I think you might be cuter than me.” There were
so many people he was pretty sure it wouldn’t look as overly affectionate as it
entirely was.
The gentle touch sent a shiver down Jared's back and he had to swallow a few
times before he could actually speak. "Wow, uh, thanks. I mean - well, I'm not
but..." Giving up he just let his arm slide back until his fingers were curled
round the back of Jensen's neck. "Oh," he said softly, "there it is." He
gestured to the rather huge framed portrait of him.
Turning, Jensen’s eyes landed on the portrait of Jared and all the air caught
in his lungs. It must have been in the middle of the game or something; he was
in his uniform and all sweaty. That and he was staring off at nothing, just
looking into the distance and a million miles away.
“Wow.” Jensen whispered and stepped closer, staring at the larger than life
image of Jared there. If he could, Jensen would buy this and hang it over his
bed but that would be a little creepy. “God, Jared, you look amazing in this.
What were you nervous about? And man, what were you thinking about? You look
so... lost.”
“You can tell that?” Jared took a step back so he could sort of stand behind
Jensen. “I was thinkin’ about school - suddenly hit me that we were all getting
older you know? That things were gonna change.” He sighed and slipped his hand
onto Jensen’s hip.
“Yeah, I know the feeling.” Jensen looked over at Jared, small smile on his
face. “But it’s just one transition you know? We’ll finish high school, and
then we go to college and real life. Come on, you have to admit you’re looking
forward to moving out right?” Jensen rested his hand on Jared’s chest, the
smile on his lips softening. “Plus, some changes can be really good.”
“Some changes can be freaking awesome.” Jared had an overwhelming urge to kiss
Jensen but figured it wasn’t the place. “Listen. I’m kinda - can we go
somewhere else? Just you and me?”
“Definitely.” Jensen nodded and wet his lips, hoping Jared had the same idea in
mind for their somewhere else. He felt all hot and flushed, like just being
around Jared was making it hard for him to breathe. “We could go outside? Or
out back um, or did you have something else in mind?”
“You feel like a walk? The lake maybe?” Jared liked going out there - it was
peaceful and lots of people didn’t bother actually walking down the paths
anymore.
“Yeah.” Jensen nodded and let Jared lead him through the crowd of people
outside once more. “You won’t get in trouble for bailing will you?” Jensen
asked as they stepped outside, his hands sliding down into his pickets once
more.
“Nah, Meg saw me. She’s the real reason I was here. I mean - I guess we could
look at the rest of the stuff but I kinda. I feel like I wanna get to know you
a little.” Jared felt his cheeks heating up again and hurried back up the
street to the car.
“That sounds like a good idea.” Jensen followed him at a slower pace, grinning
at Jared. “You’re sort of adorable when you’re all shy you know.”
Turning around slowly Jared walked backwards in front of Jensen. "You keep
sayin' things like that and I'm gonna think you like me," he teased. It was
crazy. He could be nervous and Jensen would say something or give him a look
and Jared felt a million times better in that moment than he ever had.
“Oh em gee, why would you ever think that?” Jensen drawled out in his best gay
Jack voice. Jared’s brows lifted a little and he laughed. “Dani and I used to
marathon Will and Grace, give me a break. You’ve probably never seen that show.
And you’re gonna run into your car.”
Jared stopped and Jensen ran into him and it was all around a pretty good
situation because he just wrapped his arms around Jensen and leaned back
against the car. "Oops," he said softly. His mind might have been spinning a
little bit but Jensen had all these freckles on his cheeks and his nose and
Jared felt like he wanted to kiss every one of them.
Swallowing thickly, Jensen rested his hands on Jared’s chest, slowly curling
the soft blue shirt under his fingertips. “You’re not supposed to do this,” he
whispered, staring up at Jared with wide eyes. “I’ve liked you so long, and
just always watched you from a far, and now you’re here and, you’re so sweet
and you make me feel all special. I just keep thinking I’m going to wake up
suddenly or that Danneel’s gonna jump out and yell Punk or something.”
“Danneel’s cleavage scares me remember? So I’m not likely to be working for
her.” Jared laughed softly and tightened his arms a little around Jensen’s
waist until the boy had no choice but to lean against him. The heat and the
weight of Jensen’s body made Jared feel a little weak and he rolled his bottom
lip under his teeth. “This is how it’s supposed to feel right?”
“How what is supposed to feel?” Jensen laughed a little breathless and slowly
slid his hands up until they were curling around Jared’s neck. “Did it feel
this way with Katie? When you two made out at Chad’s party a few months ago?”
Yeah, Jensen sounded a little creepy knowing that fact but the way his heart
was fluttering in his chest certainly didn’t feel normal.
“How... did you know that?” It was a good thing Jared had mentioned that kiss.
“Never mind, I don’t want to know.” Instead, he took a deep breath and rubbed
his cheek against Jensen’s. “I feel all weak and like I could fall over but at
the same time, kind of all alive and crazy.” Pulling back a little he let his
lips drag along Jensen’s cheekbone.
Jensen’s eyes fluttered closed and his hands slipped up into Jared’s hair,
tightening for a moment as Jared’s lips continued to drive him insane. “I know,
I feel- god I can’t describe it. Anyone could see us.” Jensen pointed out,
turning so his lips could brush along Jared’s. “I kind of keep thinking about
really inappropriate things.” He laughed quietly, leaning completely against
Jared.
Jared laughed softly. "You worried about being seen? Everyone knows you're gay,
Jensen." Jared let his lips press against the corner of Jensen's mouth. God he
liked the way he felt all lying against him like that.
“I’m worried about you being seen.” Jensen whispered and slid his mouth the
rest of the way over Jared’s, kissing him deep and lingering for a long moment.
It was better than their kiss in the car, longer, easier to reach and they
weren’t twisted to face each other. Heat shot through Jensen like fire and he
moaned softly, pressing his mouth harder over Jared’s to feel as much as he
could.
Jared's knees actually did kind of gives out for a second and he slid down the
side of the car a little. Jensen's mouth was all kinds of hot and perfect and
Jared's fingers tightened in the material of the boy's jacket and pulled him
even closer. He could hardly breathe his pulse was racing so fast and it was
probably the best thing he'd ever felt. Lips tingling, eyes still close, Jared
was a little sad when Jensen finally pulled back.
It took a few moments for Jared to open his eyes and when he finally did it was
a little hard to focus. "That was awesome," he murmured. “Can we go back to
your place? Talk too - I wanna talk. More of this,” he said quickly, “but I
don’t wanna walk I wanna ... you know.” He squeezed his arms around Jensen.
“Cuddle on my bed, make out, talk and maybe more?” Jensen suggested with a
hopeful grin, fingers sliding back to trace along Jared’s jaw.
“Yeah,” Jared said quietly. “I told my folks I was stayin’ at Chad’s tonight.
Are you folks gonna freak if you have me there?” Jared reluctantly pushed up
off the car and let go of Jensen so he could move open the passenger door for
him.
“Nah, they won’t even know. My parents are sort of easy going. Which is to say
they’re both career oriented and a little too preoccupied to really notice
things. Josh’s girlfriend used to stay the night all the time.” Jensen slid
into the seat and waited until Jared was behind the wheel once more before
explaining further. “They’ve got this theory that if we’re gonna be involved
with people anyway, we might as well be somewhere safe.”
“I like that theory.” Jared fired up the engine and pulled out quickly. “See.
At my house? I’m gonna have a few things to explain first - then you probably
won’t be allowed to stay in my room.” Jared laughed.
“Will they let you stay over at my place? Or will you have to lie every time?”
Jensen couldn’t stop smiling at him, just like he was already touching him
again.
"No, I think they'll be okay eventually. I might be just getting ahead of
myself here. Kind of feels right now like everything's going right, you know?"
Jared smiled and stared ahead. There was the football team, and the first time
they had to talk at school, Jeff? Well, he wasn't sure what his brother would
think. Shaking his head - he tried to put all of that out of his mind.
Pulling up in front of Jensen’s house he turned the car off and hopped out of
the car to make a big point of running around and opening Jensen’s door for
him. “My mama says to always be a gentleman,” he teased.
“I’m not sure that rule applies when you’re dating a guy.” Jensen laughed and
took Jared’s hand, letting him lead the way over to the side stairs. “So you
know like, whatever we do, I mean, nothing you’re not okay with okay? Just for
the record.” Jensen tugged his keys from his pocket, frowning at the light on
his room.
Smiling, Jared leaned against the railing at the top of the stairs as Jensen
opened the door. "Okay, I mean, sure. But... I'm not like gonna freak out or
anything. Well, I might I guess. You’ll be the first to know."
“Well I’m hoping for a serious lack of freaking out.” Jensen pointed out over
his shoulder, smiling at Jared before pushing the door open and heading inside.
“You just- Danneel, Sandy. What the hell.” Jensen stared at his two friends
there, his eyes widening. “Why did I give you a key?”
“Where have you been Jen? We’ve been calling for an hour!” Danneel pursed her
lips then her eyes widened, landing on Jared that had followed him in. “Oh hey
Jared. You’re here.”
“Kill me now.” Jensen groaned turning to toss his keys on his desk. “Will you
leave, please?” His eyes shot to Jared and he reached out to grab his arm. “Not
you.”
Jared pulled away slightly and walked over to the desk. He stood there for a
few moments before turning back to look at Jensen across the room. “Did you
have plans? We can do this some other time?” Having Sandy and Danneel there was
kind of weird - especially seeing as he’d been asking Sandy out about twenty
four hours earlier. Great. Now she would think he was a real moron.
The completely crushed look on Jensen’s face must have been all too obvious to
his best friend because Danneel stepped forward, crossing her arms over her
chest in a classic defiant gesture. “Jen is he-”
“Dani,” Jensen interrupted, grabbing her arm. “Don’t. It’s nothing.”
“Jensen, Jesus, we’ve been over this. You’re not in the closet so you don’t
date in the closet.” Danneel hissed but not quite enough, shooting Jared a
look.
“Come on Jensen. Think about how hard it’s been to get to this place.” Sandy
joined the conversation, stepping between them and grabbing Jensen’s other arm.
Jensen kind of wanted to crawl under a rock, or open the door and kick both his
friends out as fast as possible. “Can you two just leave? Please? This really
isn’t the time to discuss all of this. I’ll call you both tomorrow.”
“I think maybe I should go, Jensen.” Jared walked back toward Jensen and
reached out to touch his cheek. “I hadn’t really thought about - that kind of
stuff. I’m sorry.” It kind of felt like the rug had been pulled out from under
him. “You think maybe we could still hang out sometimes though?”
It was completely stupid but Jared could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He
really wanted to just tell Danneel off - tell her that it was all going to be
alright - but he didn’t know that. And he supposed she wasn’t actually wrong -
if he didn’t know he was even interested in guys until the night before then
maybe he was in the closet.
“No wait,” Jensen reached out for him but dropped his hand when Jared stepped
back. He looked so upset and he could literally smack both his friends’ right
then for ruining his amazing night. As childish as it was, Jensen stomped his
foot down on the ground and spun, pointing his finger at Danneel. “You, butt
out. I get you’re trying to look after me but you know how long I’ve liked
Jared and I’m willing to make sacrifices if it means I finally get to be
happy.”
He turned to Sandy and shook his head. “And you, don’t egg her on! Don’t I get
a chance to finally have someone be interested in me? Especially someone I
like!” Lastly he turned to Jared and he dropped his finger, frowning at him.
“And I understand if you have to go but I wish you wouldn’t. I don’t care about
those things, I want to be with you and we’ve barely gotten to have that yet,
so it’s really not fair to take it away so quickly.”
Glancing over at the girls Jared took a step closer to Jensen and lowered his
voice. "I'm not out - I mean - I'm not hiding either, I just don't even know
what I am. I just like you," he added softly. Leaning down he pressed his lips
to Jensen's flushed cheek and reached for his hand. There wasn't much more he
could say that would make Jensen feel any better.
“I know. I like you too. I don’t need you to be out right now, okay? I don’t
need you to tell all your friends and family about me or anything, I’m okay
with it.” Jensen insisted and if it wasn’t the entire truth then, that was
fine. Even if Danneel scoffed behind him in disbelief. “Dani, knock it off,” he
muttered and looked over at her.
“Come on Jen, you say it doesn’t matter now but how will you feel on Monday
when Jared completely ignores you in school?” Danneel of course had to be
stupid logical and she fixed Jared with her glare. “Unless you can promise you
won’t do that.”
“No, Danneel. I can’t promise that because I haven’t even said anything to my
family yet. I just told Jensen that I liked him like - what? Three hours ago?”
There were tears on his cheeks now, he could feel them and he swatted at them
angrily. “I just figured - this was so nice and I like Jensen. And ... maybe
you’re right - maybe he shouldn’t be some experiment or something but - it
didn’t feel like that.”
Turning back to Jensen, Jared wiped at his face again. “I’m sorry. I wish I
could promise you...” It felt like everything had been so perfect - and now it
was all wrong and Jared didn’t even know where to begin to fix it. “I better
go,” he said softly. He squeezed Jensen’s hand and pulled free and slipped out
the door quickly before he changed his mind. It was enough that the quarterback
of the football team was standing there in tears - he didn’t need anything else
to deal with.
Jensen stared at the door until the tears in his eyes blurred his vision enough
that he couldn’t see it. His heart hurt, his entire chest ached in a way much
worse than that morning when he’d thought Jared had been freaked out. Now it
was like he’d had this perfect relationship with the guy he’d liked for years
dangled in front of him only to have it snatched away before he could even
begin to savor it.
“Jen...” Danneel whispered, her clothes rustling as she took a hesitant step
forward.
“Get out.” Jensen said in a quiet hiss, closing his eyes around the tears and
keeping his back to his friends.
“Oh come on Jensen, it would have hurt more if something happened then Monday
he-”
“I said get out Danneel. Go, just leave me alone.” Jensen finally turned to
her, blinking around the tears in his eyes. “And next time the guy I’m in love
with shows some interest in me? Do me a fucking favor and stay out of it, okay?
I really don’t need you running my life; pretty sure I can manage to stay
single and heartbroken all on my own, thanks.”
Danneel looked a little surprised, maybe hurt even and Jensen felt the little
bite of guilt before she was dropping her gaze and nodding, turning quickly to
head for the door. Sandy looked between them both nervously for a moment before
hurrying to catch up with Danneel.
Jensen couldn’t escape the feeling that somehow, in the course of ten minutes,
he’d managed to lose two best friends and a potential boyfriend that he was
kind of in love with. “What the fuck,” he whispered and slowly crossed to his
bed.
Tomorrow, he was wearing sweats all fucking day, screw looking good.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Jensen had entertained this crazy notion that one day of mourning would be
enough but it turned out not to be the case. Even when his mom offered to take
him to a movie - which he politely declined - and his dad, in a very rare show
of concern, asked if he could help with the laundry since apparently Jensen
wearing sweats was a really bad sign. Jensen had always lived by this crazy
notion that he would feel better just by dressing better but when Monday
morning came around Jensen just hit snooze a few times on his alarm clock and
finally rolled out of bed and changed back into the same sweats he’d worn the
day before.
His hair was still flat, his skin was still a little flushed from sleep and his
shirt had a stain on the hem but Jensen didn’t care. He wasn’t being
melodramatic or anything, Jensen thought he had every right to be upset for a
while. Sure it would be nice if Jared wanted to be out and they could be an
official couple but it wasn’t worth completely cutting everything off their
barely forming relationship if Jared wasn’t ready for that.
So he headed up the steps to school with his head down and his backpack on his
shoulders, ready to force himself through the day. His shoulder bumped hard
into someone’s and he stepped back, blinking up at the blond there. Naturally
it had to be Chad.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, rubbing his shoulder and stepping back.
“Whoa, Jensen. Did your favorite designer get sent home from Project Runway or
something? You look like shit.” Chad frowned and leaned back against the
railing.
Jensen blinked at him; trying to process the best come back. When a few moments
passed without anything he sighed and shook his head. “Just leave me alone. I’m
not in the mood for this.” He turned and started up the steps once more. Today
was gonna suck.
Jared hadn't intended to be as late as he was but he'd had a shitty sleep the
night before and then couldn't seem to get out of bed in the morning. He wasn't
looking forward to the day at school for any other reason than he kind of hoped
he could find Jensen and maybe - say... well, he had no idea what he would say
or if Jensen would even listen but he figured he could come up with something.
Chad was waiting for him half way up the front steps. “Hey Chad.”
“Yo. What did you do to Jensen this weekend? He took you home didn’t he?” Chad
blinked and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Fuck it’s early.”
“What do you mean?” Jared narrowed his eyes and looked around like he expected
Jensen to be standing around somewhere.
“He looks like shit, man. Just saw him. Sweats and this t-shirt and he didn’t
even have like his gay trademark spikey hair.” Chad laughed and stood up,
hiking his laptop bag up on to his shoulder. “Did you have to tell him that you
don’t have the screaming thigh sweats for him?”
“Fuck off, Chad.” Jared folded his arms and held onto his backpack straps. He’d
been wrong about how much Monday was going to suck.
“What? Everyone knows he has like some epic gay crush on you. Dude, you’re the
quarterback, probably half the school has some kind of crush on you.” Chad
laughed and shoved at Jared.
“That’s just. That’s dumb. And why did no one tell me about Jensen before?
Suddenly everyone is so smart now - after everything-” Jared’s teeth clacked
together he shut his mouth so quickly. The last thing he needed was for Chad to
be blabbing stuff around school. When he could finally unclench his jaw Jared
tried a half smile. “Dude, I had a rough night - couldn’t sleep. Can you just
take it easy on me today?”
Chad just blinked for a while then smiled and patted Jared on the back. “Sure,
man. No sweat. You better get in there though or you’ll be late. I’m thinking I
might nap in my car.”
“God, Chad - it’s a miracle you’re still in school,” Jared muttered.
Running up the stairs he headed inside. He was late because most of the
students were starting to disappear from the hallway and usually they were all
hanging around until the last possible moment. As he rounded the last corner
before his lock he saw Jensen. If it weren’t for that fact that Chad had
described what Jensen was wearing Jared might have walked right past him. Chad
was right. Jensen didn’t exactly look great.
Suddenly there was a big ball of knotted worry in Jared’s stomach and he kind
of slowed down, half hoping that Jensen would be gone before he got there; half
hoping that everyone else would be gone so he could talk to the boy. As it
turned out, the universe seemed to be in favour of Jared making an ass of
himself yet again, because Jensen hadn’t moved by the time Jared was passing.
He almost walked by, but Jensen’s shoulders had that kind of line to them that
just seemed so sad, and his hair was all flat and Jared’s heart kind of ached.
Stopping behind Jensen he waited a few moments then leaned against the locker
beside Jensen’s. “Hi,” he said softly.
Some part of Jensen had been expecting this. Jared showing up before he even
got the chance to hide away in a classroom. No part of Jensen was really ready
for a conversation with him. Closing his locker, he looked around the mostly
empty hallway then back at Jared, gaze as blank as he could make it. “Hi.” He
nodded and stepped back. “I gotta get to class.”
“Jensen wait.” Jared reached out and grabbed the boy’s arm. “Please, can we
just talk?” His heart was thumping hard and fast and Jared frowned at the sick
feeling in his stomach.
“What? In the middle of the hallway where any of your friends could walk by?”
Jensen frowned and looked down at Jared’s hand on his arm. “What do you need to
say? Do you need to apologize? Because it’s okay, I’m not mad at you, I get it.
It’s too complicated and hard and the change is too big, I’m really not mad at
you, so... okay?” But he couldn’t pull his arm back, Jared’s hand felt too
good.
“That’s not really fair,” Jared said softly. He let go of Jensen’s arm and took
a step back. “You never even gave me a chance. I got three hours to be happier
than shit and then I got a lecture about coming out and ... whatever, Jensen.”
Jared needed to get out of there before he said something he would regret. “I
just wanted to talk to you because you-” Sighing, he shook his head and started
to walk away. “I’m sorry I bothered you.”
“Jared,” Jensen sighed and rubbed self-consciously at his chest. “I didn’t
lecture you. I told you I didn’t need that. I said that I wanted y-” Jensen cut
off to look around the hallway and sighed again. “I said what I wanted. I was
willing to do all that and you still left. And you didn’t come back, or call,
or anything. So how do you expect me to feel?”
Feeling a little frantic, Jared took a step closer. “So you’re telling me you
don’t care if I can’t hold your hand in school or ... or take you to the
football game to watch me play? None of that matters to you? And Dani was just
making it up?”
Looking away, Jensen blew out a slow breath and lifted his shoulders in a
shrug. “Yeah it matters. It’ll hurt. But, maybe that won’t be forever? Maybe
one day you’ll feel comfortable? Or there’s my friends... well, I guess not.
We’re not really on speaking terms.” Jensen blew out a slow breath, irritated
he was getting so upset and looking up at Jared even though tears were pricking
at his eyelids. “I don’t know, I just thought maybe you’d like me enough one
day that you’d be willing to take that risk.”
"Not everyone is as brave as you, Jensen." Jared wasn't even sure if that was
any kind of answer at all but it was the truth. "I don't even know who I am
right now. I feel like - I feel like I wanna be this other person because of
you -because I want to take that hurt look off your face. But it's because of
me that it's there." Falling silent for a few moments Jared tried to get his
heart to calm down a little. "Why are you not talking to your friends?"
“I kicked them out when you left.” Jensen shrugged, even sadder that Jared
didn’t know him well enough for Jensen to really explain how his friendships
worked. Jared didn’t know him at all and Jensen wasn’t sure how they’d get
anywhere with this circle logic. “We’ll get over it, not the first time we’ve
fought.” Jensen stepped back, folding his arms over his chest. “Well. I should
go to class. I um, I guess I’ll see you around.” Jensen’s whole heart hurt
again and he was really getting tired of this.
Jared nodded - he just couldn't think of the right thing to say or do or hell.
"Jensen? Will you eat lunch with me today?"
Why did Jared have to be so wonderful? It made it really challenging to know
how to act right. "I look like shit." He pointed out and looked around. "Here
at school?" Jensen was just trying to get a grip on what was happening and
well, he kind of wanted to kiss Jared so bad it hurt. His life, seriously.
“Why not? I know you don’t ... I want to spend time with you, Jensen. I like
you and I want to get to know you. If we can only be friends - whatever - I
mean I can be okay with that. I’m not gonna say I don’t mind, I do... but ...
will you? Please?” Jared hesitated briefly then reached out and brushed his
fingers over the back of Jensen’s hand. “Throw me a rope here, I’m drownin’.”
A soft laugh caught in Jensen's throat and he shook his head. "You're not
drowning." Jensen looked up, their eyes meeting. "I'm already so gone for you
Jared. How many times are you gonna break my heart?"
Jared stepped a little closer. “I’m trying to fix your heart. Please, let me
try, Jensen. I promise to try to do whatever it is I need to do. But - can’t we
at least... can we be friends or something? It makes my heart hurt when you
ignore me which is crazy because you probably would have before - but it’s all
changed now.” Jared smiled slightly, fingers resting right against Jensen’s.
“Please? Lunch? Just a bit of a start over or something? One more chance, I
won’t let you down.”
"For the record I wouldn't have ignored you before. I never would have." Jensen
pursed his lips, not sure if he was stalling because he wanted more time with
Jared or because he was scared. "I was going to go home and change at lunch."
Jensen watched Jared's eyes grow sad and he swallowed and continued. "You could
come with, give me a ride."
“Okay. Yeah. That- yeah. I’d really like that. Which room you in right before
lunch?” Jared let out a sigh of relief and picked up Jensen’s hand. He didn’t
look around to see if anyone was there, he didn’t really care. Let people think
what they wanted.
A slow smile tugged at Jensen’s lips and he squeezed Jared's hand. "I've got
Hilton before lunch. I'll meet you then?" He stepped back, knowing he was
already going to get in trouble for being late to class. "Don't stand me up."
“I’ll be waiting outside your class.” Jared reluctantly let go of Jensen’s
fingers and took a few steps back. “I’ll be there.” Finally, he smiled and
turned and hurried off to see if he could sneak into the back of his English
class without getting busted.
-=-==-=-
When the bell rang for lunch Jared was already standing outside Jensen’s
classroom. He wasn’t going to risk missing Jensen and had said he had to go to
the bathroom so he could leave Physics early. Bouncing up onto his toes he
tried to see over the students heads to spot Jensen but he couldn’t. Finally
leaning back against the wall, he tried to wait patiently.
Part of Jensen was convinced that Jared wouldn’t be there, he wouldn’t be
waiting, this was all too good to be true. But then he rounded the corner and
there Jared was, looking gorgeous and all too casual. Jensen bit his lip around
a smile for a long moment before he crossed to him and briefly touched his arm.
“Hey. You ready?”
"Hey, yeah. I was early, you know, so I didn't miss you." Jared beamed at
Jensen and started toward the exit. "You want me to carry your backpack?" He
winked and looked down at the ground because he seriously shouldn't be flirting
with Jensen; not at this stage. Things were still on shaky ground.
“I don’t know soldier, it would probably be too heavy for you.” Jensen smiled a
little brighter at him and followed Jared out of the school, a little relieved
when they were heading down the steps to the parking lot. “Do you have a class
after lunch?”
“You want the truth or a really convenient lie?” Jared pulled his keys out of
his pocket and unlocked his car as they got closer.
“Hm. Can I get both and chose the answer I like most?” Jensen waited for a
moment to see if Jared was going to walk around to the passenger door but that
was ridiculous so he hurried around, tugging it open before Jared could even
feel required too or something.
Frowning Jared headed around the driver's side and slipped behind the wheel. "I
do have a class. I'm not going? I don't want to go - if you don't have a class.
I mean, it's just gym and ... quarterback." He shrugged and started the car,
"your place?"
“Yeah, my place.” Jensen glanced out the window, watching as they left the
parking lot. Danneel and Sandy were standing beside her red Corvette and she
was watching him with sad, narrowed eyes. Jensen swallowed and looked away,
back over at Jared. “I’m ditching the rest of my classes. Do you have practice
this afternoon?”
Shaking his head Jared signaled and pulled out on to the street. “We only get
Mondays off. Hey you wanna come watch tomorrow night? I mean, it’s not really
all that exciting I guess but we could go and get a coffee or something after,
soda? Tea?” Jared was a little nervous, maybe a lot nervous. So far - he didn’t
seem to have the greatest track record with Jensen and he was a bit worried
that he was going to stumble into something again.
“I can’t. I have practice, for the musical.” Jensen shrugged and looked over at
Jared. “But, I uh, I was going to come to the game on Friday. You know, cheer
you on. If it’s not weird I think I’ll bring my parents. You know, my dad’s
kind of a fan and my mom will talk about whose ass is the cutest in the uniform
on both teams.” Jensen laughed and pursed his lips. “That’s what I usually do.”
“Usually?” Jared glanced over at Jensen and smiled. “You normally go to the
games? Didn’t know you were such a fan of school sports.” Jared turned his eyes
back to the street in front of them and tried not to smile too much.
Sniffing a few times, Jensen looked out the opposite window and shrugged. “I’m
not. But I’ve never missed a football or basketball game since you’ve played.”
He felt stupid saying it and he sank lower down in his seat, staring out his
window. “It’s stupid.”
“Are you serious?” Jared headed up Jensen’s street and pulled up onto the side
of his driveway. “You came to watch me?” His heart did this weird thing where
it crashed into his stomach.
“Yeah. I wasn’t lying when I said I’ve liked you for a long time. I’m still
surprised you didn’t know that.” Jensen pushed his door open and climbed out,
heading around and waiting for Jared. “Do you want to know when it started?
Like, what triggered it?”
Jared wasn't entirely sure he did want to know but he was already nodding as he
walked toward Jensen. He fell into step beside him and studied his profile as
they walked toward the stairs at the back of the house.
“We had eighth grade English together, with Rodney. You probably don’t remember
me being in that class, I sat in the back and didn’t talk much.” Jensen laughed
softly and led the way up the stairs. “It was the year I came out, tough year.
Anyway, we were reading Cyrano de Bergerac, and Rodney made you play Cyrano.
Chad was with you, and Rebecca I think. Anyway, everyone was goofing off and
you were all shy and blushing and reading off the lines and you looked at
me...” Jensen sighed and shook his head, slipping his key into the door and
pushing it open. “After a while I realized you weren’t really looking at me but
it felt like you were. And it just kind of made me feel important. So... yeah.
I mean, then later that day I said hi to you and you called me Jason but ah
well.”
“You study in the Library almost every Thursday afternoon after school,” Jared
blurted out.
“Um.” Jensen dropped his backpack on his desk and turned to Jared. “Yeah. So?”
That wasn’t the reaction he’d been expecting.
“I noticed. That you’re there every Thursday. I knew your name for a long time,
years probably - but I never thought you’d even be interested in talking to
someone like me. I mean - I’m not as smart as you - that’s why I’m in football
and stuff. But you’re not invisible.” Jared had reached out and curled his
fingers over Jensen’s arm. “Not to me.”
“I know I’m not invisible, Jared. I’m the resident gay, everyone knows who I
am.” Jensen ran a hand up through his hair, trying to make it look less flat.
“Also, I’m in the musicals, people know that. Have you ever gone to one? Oh
and-” Jensen smacked Jared’s arm. “I think I told you to stop calling yourself
dumb.”
“Well, then could you just accept some of the nice things I say sometimes? I
feel like - you just sorta don’t believe the stuff I say about you.” Dropping
his backpack to the floor Jared stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“Oh.” Jensen frowned and picked at his shirt, peering down at the stain there
and sighing. “It’s not that I don’t believe you, I’m just not used to it.
Especially from you. Jared, it’s not like I’ve got a lot of experience with
guys hitting on me in any way. And well, honestly, I’m still a little afraid
you’re gonna turn and bolt at any moment.” Jensen turned away and pulled his
shirt off, tossing it to his hamper and heading over to his closet.
“You know...” Jared was momentarily distracted by the way the sunlight hit
Jensen’s back. It kind of highlighted the curves of his muscles, and the lines
of his back. “I wouldn’t have left Saturday night on my own - I mean if Dani
hadn’t been there and said- Well, I wouldn’t have left. I wanted to be here
with you.”
“Then you should have come back. Or should have not left at all.” Jensen turned
to him, holding the shirt in his hands and stepping toward Jared. “I know Dani
can be a lot, but she’s got gay envy. You know, sometimes I think she wants to
be the gay guy. She’s the one who pushed me to come out, and it’s good, I’m
glad about that but sometimes she forgets that she’s not me. So you just kind
of have to ignore her. Sometimes.”
“You’re kind of hard on me,” Jared said softly. He wandered over to the bottom
of Jensen’s bed and sat down. “I sat outside for a long time in my car. I
watched the girls leave but - I didn’t think you’d want me to come back.” Jared
looked down at his fingers, they were twisting together again. He seemed to
keep saying the wrong things.
Tugging his shirt on, Jensen sighed softly and pushed his sweats off, kicking
them toward the laundry basket before heading over to the bed. He climbed onto
the mattress, folding his legs under him and gently touching Jared’s arm. “I’m
sorry. You’re right, I’m being awful. I just... I was really hurt, after being
so happy, and it’s one thing to crush on you from afar but it’s totally
different to think I have it then to have it pulled away.” Jensen shrugged and
smiled sadly at Jared. “Forgive me?”
“Yeah, ‘course. Don’t need to - I just want you to give me a chance. You’ve had
a lot of years to be comfortable with who you are, I’m still counting in
hours.” Jared reached out for Jensen’s leg and then changed his mind, dropping
his hand to the mattress between them. “You’re, you just have boxers... on.”
Jared was trying to keep his eyes on Jensen’s face.
“Is that kind of like when a girl wears a low cut shirt? Like, too suggestive
and not appropriate?” Jensen laughed softly and shifted a little closer,
curving his hand slowly around Jared’s neck. “I was always ready to give you a
chance Jared. I mean it; I don’t need you to tell everyone about us for a
while. Hell, this is new to me. It’s one thing to be out of the closet but
totally different to have a boyfriend that others know about. Sure it’ll be
hard but, if we can be friends in public, that will help. Okay?” Jensen shifted
a little closer until his leg touched Jared’s, heat instantly crawling up
through him.
“Boyfriend? We never even got to the end of our first date.” Jared looked down
but there was a smile on his face. “I thought about you all weekend,” he said
huskily. “Had trouble sleeping even, I kept running over everything in my head
and trying to figure out what I could have done differently then I kept
thinking about kissing you, by the car...”
“I liked that.” Jensen said quietly and dropped his hand. It felt a little like
he was pushing two steps forward and Jared kept drawing back, like this was
just too much or Jensen was finally going to push him too far. He was almost
afraid to say anything more. “I thought about sleeping in your arms.” He
murmured and shrugged, picking at the worn edge of his boxers. It seemed safe
enough to say.
“Jensen, how do I talk to you? I keep getting it wrong. I keep saying these
things that I think will make you happy and it seems to do the opposite.”
Reaching out a trembling hand, Jared ran his palm up Jensen’s thigh. “Is that
what you want? You want me to show you how I feel?”
“Do you want that?” Jensen whispered, looking up at Jared with wide eyes. “I’m
sorry. I’m trying; I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.” Pursing his lips, Jensen
exhaled shakily and looked away. “Maybe you should just tell me how to react?”
“God,” Jared pulled his hand back and stood up, pacing across the bedroom.
“Jensen I’m-” Jared rubbed his hands down his face and groaned. He had no idea
how to fix everything, he knew that it was his fault it had all gotten so
screwed up but he could use a little bit of help. “I’m terrified - you said
that... I mean you made it sound like if I make another mistake that’s it for
me. I’ve got this one chance to get this right and I don't know what to do. I’m
scared. I’ve never really been scared of anything before. I don’t know what to
do.”
Shifting back on the bed, Jensen pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped
his arms around his legs, watching Jared pacing around his room with wide eyes.
He had no idea how they kept flipping around in circles like this but it was
getting dizzying, and painful. “I just don’t want to get heart broken. You
can’t fault me for wanting to protect myself. And just, I’m not talking like
little mistakes, I mean, if you screw up that’s okay, it happens. I’ll probably
screw up sometimes too. Just... you know, major things. I don’t know. What can
I do? How do I make you better? What can I say to just get you back here and
kissing me?”
“Ask me?” Jared sighed and his shoulders dropped. Pacing back over to the bed
he kneeled down in front of Jensen and slid his palms back up over his thighs.
“Can I kiss you? Will you kiss me?” Jared’s heart was fluttering like crazy,
bumping around in his chest as he tried to breathe.
“That was never a question,” Jensen muttered and leaned forward, slanting his
lips over Jared’s. There were probably a thousand more conversations they had
to have but at that moment he didn’t care. Because even after only a few brief
kisses he had somehow grown attached to that feeling and he’d missed kissing
Jared. The way their lips slid together, the heat and soft silk of it, the slow
roll of lust in the pit of his stomach. Jensen moaned and shifted a little
closer, sliding his hand up into Jared’s hair to keep him there.
Jared's body did that thing again where it went all weak and kind of wobbly.
Opening his mouth wider he slid his tongue forward instinctively and moaned
when it passed over the soft skin of Jensen's bottom lip. He was shaking, there
was just so much heat and pleasure running through his body and he'd never felt
anything like it.
Straining forward, Jensen’s hands curled into Jared’s shirt as the boy sucked
on his tongue, drawing the taste of him in, it was almost too much. When his
lungs were starting to burn - he still hadn’t quite got the hang of breathing
and kissing - Jensen drew back and sucked in a sharp breath. “That’s still
good,” he murmured and shifted back, snagging the pillow to pull over his lap
and licking his lips. “You taste a little like chocolate.”
“I ...” Jared cleared his throat, “I was hungry earlier... had a kit kat.”
Reaching out Jared tried to tug the pillow off Jensen’s lap as he climbed up
onto the bed. It was kind of crazy but Jared just wanted to keep kissing,
touching Jensen. He was already half hard in his jeans and kind of twisted his
hips as he leaned down on the bed. “Can we do that again?”
“Yeah, just, had to catch my breath.” Jensen laid his hands in his lap and
looked nervously over at Jared. He really didn’t want Jared to see how turned
on his was and his boxers left little to the imagination. “Um, we could lie
down?” He suggested, knowing then he could tilt his hips back and it would be
so obvious. “I’ll get better at the breathing thing.”
“Oh,” Jared blew out a breath ‘cause that pretty much got rid of the half in
half-hard. His jeans were suddenly really tight across his hips and it felt a
little like the room was sort of tilted sideways. “I’m ... I’m really uh... you
know.” Jared could feel the heat creeping up his neck and lifted his hand to
rub at the heated flesh.
“You’re what?” Jensen frowned, staring at Jared for a long moment before slowly
looking down. The moment his eyes landed on Jared’s crotch he looked quickly
back up, swallowing thickly. “Oh. That. Well, I... yeah. Me too. Only I’m in
boxers and so.” Jensen laughed weakly and watched Jared. The moment his eyes
met Jensen’s, he kind of lost control and launched across the bed, lips
slamming hard against Jared’s as he half climbed onto his lap. He had no idea
where that came from but god he couldn’t help it.
Jared was kind of stunned for a few seconds and then his hands slapped onto
Jensen's back. One palm slid up over the curves of muscle, bunching up Jensen's
t-shirt as it moved. When his thumb brushed over the warmth of bare skin he
shuddered and moaned into Jensen's mouth. His other hand slid up to slip into
Jensen's hair, soft and fine and he couldn't help grabbing a handful.
Shifting forward, Jensen managed to get his legs on either side of Jared’s body
until he literally was in his lap and his arms wrapped around the boy, keeping
him close as their lips rocked and slid hard together. He sucked on Jared’s
tongue, trying his best to come across as cool and confident in this whole
kissing thing when his experience was so limited. He pulled back with a gasp
and slid his lips down, slowly fucking along Jared’s jaw, down to his neck.
“Wouldn’t it win you points...” he muttered against Jared’s skin, going back to
sucking for a moment before releasing. “If I gave you a hickey? You wouldn’t
have to say where it’s from.”
"P..Points," Jared managed to stutter out. His hands slid back down Jensen's
back, and he dipped them under the hem of Jensen's shirt, sliding them back up
over bare, hot, flesh. "God," he whispered. "You feel... you feel so good." It
sounded stupid but Jared didn't have big enough words to capture the way
touching Jensen was making him feel.
Rocking his hips up slightly Jared sucked in a breath as the pressure on his
dick just made him want to come. “Jensen, I-” he moaned again, moving quickly
and grabbing Jensen’s shoulders to shove him back down onto the mattress.
Sinking down onto the boy’s body, Jared panted against Jensen’s cheek, lips
moving slowly toward Jensen’s ear.
“Jesus,” Jensen gasped and spread his legs a little wider to give Jared’s body
room. “Will you, Jared? Will you take your pants off? We don’t have to rush
into anything just, god you looked really hot in those jersey briefs the othe-
oh fuck.” Jensen gasped when Jared hit that part of his neck that was far too
sensitive and his vision blurred almost painfully as his hips snapped up.
Jared groaned, his voice husky and thick as he pulled back a little. "Okay, I-
yeah. I can do that." The only problem was that he didn't want to actually stop
touching Jensen. Finally, forcing himself to slide down Jensen's body Jared
stood on wobbly legs at the bottom of the bed. His fingers felt too thick and
it was suddenly like he couldn't even work a damn button. It actually took him
three tries before he could get his button undone. When the jeans finally slid
down over his hips, Jared stood there, nervous - and a hell of a lot more shy
than he had been a few moments before.
There was no missing how turned on Jared was at the moment and Jensen stared
for probably a little too long before he was looking up at Jared’s face and the
flush of color there. Slowly sitting up, Jensen shifted toward the edge of the
bed and wet his lips, tilting his gaze up toward him and back down once more.
“Can I... touch?” Jensen whispered because his voice felt constricted, his
hands hovering uncertainly above Jared’s hips.
"Oh, God, Jensen." Jared moaned and nodded, catching his bottom lip under his
teeth. His hands settled on Jensen's shoulders, fingers squeezing slightly.
"Yeah, I - yeah." Jensen’s question had sent crazy little sparks of energy
through Jared’s veins and he really was starting to worry that he might
spontaneously combust or something.
Unsurprisingly, Jensen had watched a healthy amount of porn. After all, he was
a gay boy that had no real life experience, he had to gain his knowledge
elsewhere and it wasn’t like his parents had many answers for him. So Jensen
had seen another cock before - a lot of them actually - but never in person and
he’d never touched.
Which was likely why his hands were shaking a little as his fingertips slid
over the elastic of Jared’s navy blue jersey briefs. The heat from the boy was
radiating through the thin cotton and Jensen held his breath as he let the heel
of his palm slowly run the full length of Jared’s hard cock straining on the
material. It twitched at the touch and Jensen moaned softly, eyes shooting up
to Jared’s face. “Can I take these off?” He whispered voice tight and strained,
so hard now he was almost slipping through his boxers.
Jared couldn't even think anymore. His dick was aching, twitching under
Jensen's touch and the very idea of Jensen being able to touch his skin nearly
made him pass out. "Can we... can we lie down before I fall?" Jared's knees
felt like they might just buckle at any minute.
When Jensen slid back on the bed, Jared reached out and grabbed his shoulders.
He pulled Jensen up against his chest, mouth licking and biting at the boy’s
shoulder as his hands slid around over Jensen’s hips. He couldn’t help it,
Jensen had a great ass, all round and firm and his back, and the way his skin
was flushed under the rucked up t-shirt.
Jared’s fingers slid forward until he could feel the hard bulge in Jensen’s
boxers and he moaned against the boy’s flesh.
“Oh god we gotta lay down.” Jensen gasped and twitched up into Jared’s touch,
his entire body almost giving out at the hard slam of desire through him. He
pulled at Jared until they were both stretched out on the bed once more, lying
face to face, side by side, and still panting. Their hands seemed to be ever
moving over each other and Jensen wasn’t even really sure where to begin.
“I want to do all these things to you; I don’t know what to do first.” Jensen
laughed hoarsely and leaned forward, capturing Jared’s lips in another deep
kiss. It seemed like a very good place to start even his hand slipped quickly
forward and nearly shoved under Jared’s briefs until he was curling his fingers
around the boy’s cock and nearly gasping at the size and burning weight of it
against his palm.
Jared was startled by the noise that came out of his mouth but Jesus no one had
ever touched him like that and Jensen's hand was so hot - and Jared felt like
he was going to come. "Jensen, I - shit..." Jared pushed at Jensen's t-shirt
until it was nearly up to his neck, his hands roaming over the curves of the
boy’s chest. When his fingers bumped over a small bud of flesh he felt Jensen's
body jolt. Catching the nipple between his fingers he squeezed slightly,
learning, testing. It almost backfired because Jensen's hand slipped up his
dick and Jared moaned. His balls were aching, full and his entire body felt
like it was just a big nerve.
“Naked,” Jensen decided and pulled his hand free, sitting up to tug his shirt
off and throw it across the room. “I really think, I mean, then we can both
touch each other right? And that sounds, really good. So, naked.” Jensen bit
his lip, looking at Jared for a long moment before pushing up his hips and
slipping out of his boxers. It felt a little weird to be naked sitting on the
bed by Jared and he shifted back until he could slip under his blanket. “Now
you.”
Sitting up slowly Jared crossed his arms and snagged his t-shirt then pulled it
off over his head. He was actually kind of thankful that his hair flopped down
over his eyes because he felt that might-pass-out thing again. Kneeling up he
shoved his briefs down quickly and wriggled out of them then crawled up to lie
next to Jensen.
On the way up his lips found their way to Jensen's belly and Jared licked at
the skin; tasting the slight sheen of sweat on Jensen's body.
“Oh god.” Jensen inhaled, a little worried he might come from that feeling
alone. “Jared- you- come here.” Jensen groaned and slid his fingers to the back
of Jared’s neck, guiding him up until their lips could meet again. He shifted
on the bed, pressing his legs together and dragging Jared’s body down on top of
his.
The very moment their cocks met Jensen moaned far too loud into the kiss, his
entire body shuddering with pleasure before he pulled back to stare up at
Jared. “No clothes, great idea.”
Jared tried to answer, he really did but as soon as his lips parted Jensen's
were right there again and all Jared could do was sink into the kiss. Tilting
his hips just a little he got that feeling again; their hard flesh sliding
together. Moaning, Jared gripped Jensen's hair tightly, moving him, deepening
the kiss.
His teeth caught Jensen's bottom lip and he nipped gently, rocking his hips a
little more as Jensen's entire body sort of arched up into his. It was crazy
good, hot, and Jared had no idea how to fix the want that he was feeling.
“Jare-” Jensen moaned the name against the boy’s lips and his body moved
forward, a shudder shaking his shoulders. It was too much, the feel of Jared’s
body, the intensity of the heat and the way it drove him so crazy. Jensen lost
control before he could even realize he was, his entire body snapped up into
Jared’s and his orgasm slammed through him, too hot and burning along his
senses. Jensen clung to Jared and squeezed his eyes shut, maybe a little
embarrassed as he rode through the waves of pleasure.
It wasn't like Jared had never come before - but seeing Jensen lose it,
watching the boy's face as he kind of fell apart kind of slammed into Jared.
The warm, wet of Jensen's come pulsed between their bodies and Jared jerked
forward, his hips sliding as his balls drew up tight and aching. When he came
he let out a kind of half gasp - mostly whimper and crashed his mouth into
Jensen's. It engulfed him. The heat of their bodies together, the way Jensen
was writhing beneath him and Jared moaned as his tongue swept through the other
boy's mouth.
When Jensen finally pulled away from the kiss it was only because he felt a
little light headed. Jared was too much and Jensen wasn’t sure he could feel
any part of his body at that point. Plus, Jared was still over him and their
bodies were pressed together and Jensen was absolutely, completely, in Heaven.
Screw all the melodrama of the last few days; this was the best kind of reward.
“God, that was amazing.” He laughed weakly and tilted up into the kiss once
more. “Didn’t mean to come like that, just kinda lost control.”
“You ... you were so hot like that.” Jared was having a difficult time focusing
and breathing - and pretty much everything. Rolling off Jensen so he didn’t
crush him, Jared turned his head back toward the boy and smiled. “That was
really good, great, I mean.”
“Definitely.” Jensen nodded and shifted around, pulling the blanket over them
both and turning his head to face Jared, smiling soft and fond at him. “So,
honestly... I don’t know how and if things will work between us, and I know,
there’s like, a gazillion things we’re gonna have to face if we want to be
together but seriously... I really am willing to give it a shot okay? ‘Cause I
kind of like you, a lot. And, I think, we might be a little epic. And also that
you like me a lot too.” Jensen’s smile grew and he shifted a little closer,
brushing his nose along Jared’s. “So we gonna give it a shot?”
“Epic huh?” Jared’s smiled widened and he found Jensen’s hand with his own so
he could thread their fingers together. “Yes, yeah, I want to try. That’s what
I was trying to tell you before. I guess, I just didn’t know how. Can you give
me a little time? It’s not that I want to hide or anything - but I just wanna
tell me family first. Is that alright?”
“Jared, I told you, I’ll be okay.” Jensen gently pressed their lips together
and pulled back, smiling at Jared to let him know how honest he was.
“Seriously. You take all the time you need. Sometimes it doesn’t help to have
someone pushing you. Just know, I’ll be here to support you however you want
okay? And we’ll get there, because trust me, when it’s me involved, naturally
it’s going to be epic.” He laughed and kissed the tip of Jared’s nose just
because he could. “We might have to work a little on your wardrobe however.”
“I thought you liked my underwear,” Jared murmured. He couldn’t help kissing
his way along Jensen’s cheek bone. There were those freckles after all. “I
gotta kiss all of these,” he muttered.
“Good luck with that,” Jensen whispered and closed his eyes, hands sweeping
down Jared’s body once more. “Should we spend the afternoon testing teenager
stamina?” He pressed a little closer. God, here he was, once more in bed with
Jared Padalecki and just about to lose his mind from the sheer perfection of
it. Sure they had some kinks to work out - and maybe some literal ones he
couldn’t wait to explore - but Jensen was really starting to believe that they
could make this work.
And as soon as Jared’s lips stopped burning thick desire through him, he
thought he even might text Danneel and apologize. Because there was nothing
that could really shatter his good mood at the moment, especially as his hand
settled in Jared’s hair and the boy set about trying to find all his freckles.
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