Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/38617.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Glee
  Relationship:
      Kurt_Hummel/Noah_Puckerman
  Character:
      Kurt_Hummel, Noah_Puckerman
  Additional Tags:
      Slash, Locker_Room, porrrrnypornyporn, Manhandling, envy_issues
  Collections:
      Yuletide_Madness_2009
  Stats:
      Published: 2009-12-24 Words: 935
****** And I Said Who Are You Thinking Of ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     Puck's sick of everybody liking Finn better.
Notes
     Sort of a coda to 1x08 :)
"Hey."
Puck looked up to see Kurt standing in the doorway of the locker room. All of
the other guys were long gone, but Puck had caught a sneak slushie and come
back for a second shower.
"You're not joining the team again, are you?" he asked, sceptical.
"Oh no no no," said Kurt. "I mean don't get me wrong, it was fun, my dad liked
it, and the eye candy? Whoo."
Puck glared at him.
"But!" Kurt continued hurriedly, walking to his locker. "It is probably in my
best interests and those of my currently unbroken limbs to pledge allegiance to
my true team from now on. I was just getting my stuff." He opened the locker
and pulled out a fancy looking gym bag, probably from dolchee or whatever, if
they even made gym bags.
"Yeah," said Puck. "That's probably for the best. You were only hanging around
to perve on Finn anyway." He slammed his own locker shut with a sneer.
"Whoah -- that is not -- I was -- what's your problem with Finn, anyway?" Kurt
spluttered.
"My problem?" Puck snapped. "My problem is that everyone always fucking loves
that guy! What does he have that I don't?"
"Well," Kurt said dreamily. "He has the nicest eyes. And the way he smiles-"
"I wasn't asking to hear your stupid gay fantasies about Finn," Puck growled,
shoving Kurt back against the locker.
"Hey!" Kurt grabbed at his shirt. "Don't manhandle me, you… you… you big
langrel!"
"I'll manhandle whoever I damn well want!" Puck snarled. He was suddenly aware
of the tiny space between them, and the way Kurt was looking up at him, wide-
eyed. Then, and he'll never know what in the universe possessed him to do it,
but he leaned forward and bit Kurt on the lip.
Then they were kissing furiously, grinding up against one another. He dragged
Kurt further up the wall as Kurt shoved his hands under Puck's shirt. Puck had
the feeling that this situation was rapidly spiralling out of his control.
Somehow he couldn't work up the appropriate disgust for the fact that he was
making out with a dude what the hell with Kurt's hot mouth beneath his, hands
on his skin, solid body pressed against him. He'd never been one to turn down
sex anyway.
"Oh my god," Kurt almost-moaned.
"Shut up!" Puck muttered into his mouth.
Kurt wrapped his legs around Puck's waist. "I really want to suck your cock
right now," he blurted out, dropping his head to lean on Puck's shoulder. And,
well, that wasn't something he'd heard before! Except from Mrs Waits down on
Ferris street, now he came to think of it, but she didn't count because her
teeth scared him.
"Damn right you do," he growled, snaking a hand into Kurt's hair and pulling
his head back so he had to look at Puck. "And you're not," he snarled,
punctuating every phrase with a thrust of his hips against Kurt's. "You're not
going to be thinking of Finn while you do it, are you?"
"Jesusfuckno," breathed Kurt, digging his fingernails into Puck's back. Then he
shuddered and slumped back against the wall.
"That's… right," Puck panted. He had time to grind up against Kurt's lolling
form twice more before the kid opened his eyes and said "No, but seriously,"
before shoving Puck away slightly and sinking fluidly to his knees.
"Whoah," said Puck. Kurt started to undo his belt. "You've never done this
before, right?"
"I've read up on the theory," Kurt said smugly, grinning up at him as he pulled
the zipper down. "It shouldn't be too… uh…" he trailed off.
Puck had the presence of mind to smirk. "Was hard the word you were looking
for?"
"Absolutely," Kurt said fervently, and went down.
Puck had to admit he wasn't bad for a newbie. Sloppy but enthusiastic. Plus,
they'd been humping for like ten minutes, so he was on the edge anyway. At this
angle he could almost pretend it was a chick sucking him off – Kurt was
definitely not blonde, but… and then Kurt looked up at him, mouth wrapped
around at least half of Puck's (impressive if he did say so himself) dick, and
the tiniest self-satisfied look in his eyes. He didn't look like he was lying
back and thinking of Finn. That was more than he could have said for Rachel, if
they'd ever got this far.
Then Kurt pulled off.
"Hey!" said Puck indignantly.
"Sorry, there's this thing I read about that I wanted to try-"
"You're not going anywhere near my ass-"
"No, no!" Kurt said breathlessly. "It was like…"
And then he did something with his tongue that had Puck's eyes practically
rolling back in his head. When he stopped seeing stars, Kurt was up and leaning
over the sink, wiping his mouth fastidiously.
"That'll take some getting used to," he said, wrinkling his nose.
Then they both stood there and stared at each other for a moment.
"You don't have to gaybash me now, do you?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow.
Puck rolled his eyes. "It's probably in the football rulebook or something, but
I'm gonna go with this never happened, yeah?"
"Right. Got it." Kurt grabbed his bag and said "I'm gonna… yeah," waving a hand
at his pants.
"Right," said Puck, zipping up and heading for the door. "You do that."
"And Puck!" called Kurt.
"What?" he snapped, turning around in the doorway.
"I really wasn't thinking of Finn," said Kurt, smirking ever so slightly.
Puck rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as he walked away.
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