Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/631297.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M, Other, Multi
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Dean/Sam
  Character:
      Dean_Winchester, Sam_Winchester
  Additional Tags:
      Weechesters, Weecest, Wincest_-_Freeform, Angst, Incest
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-01-09 Updated: 2015-02-15 Chapters: 22/? Words: 25492
****** And Down We Fall ******
by shotgun
Summary
     This is basically just a big fic written in a way that can make some
     ships appear canon. It starts off with Weecest. Wincest is the big
     one in the beginning and there will eventually be Destiel and
     Wincestiel. There will definitely be other ships, but I don't want to
     tag them all yet because I'm not sure what I'm planning quite yet.
***** Chapter 1 *****
Dean rolled over so that his back was to Sam. He was restless and wide awake.
Their dad was asleep in the bed next to them and Sam was out on the bed they
were sharing. He felt a tiny bounce of the bed and knew that it was his little
brother twitching because of another nightmare.
He rolled back over, a hand stroking down his brother's arm and he calmed down
for minute. Dean pulled his hand back slowly and Sam trembled, a whine escaping
his lips and he clung tightly to the sheets over his body.
Sighing, Dean pulled the younger Winchester into his arms and ran a hand down
his back, smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt. Sam's arms wrapped quickly
around his brother and he clung to him, whimpering softly.
"Hey…Sam." Dean whispered against the top of Sam's head. "It's okay. S'okay,
Sammy. It's just a dream."'
Sam whimpered again, but the tension slowly slid from his body and he relaxed,
still holding onto his brother. "Dean…?" He whispered in a sleepy voice.
"Yeah, Sammy. I got you."
"You…You and Dad went on a hunting trip. An-and Dad came back. But you weren't
with him." His grip on Dean tightened again.
"Just a bad dream, Sammy. It was just a bad dream. I'm right here. I got you.
Not going anywhere." He kissed the top of Sam's head, feeling his little
brother shake with silent sobs. "It's okay, Sammy."
"Don't leave me, Dean. It could happen. Please don't leave me…" Sam's grip on
Dean was almost painful now, as if he was worried Dean would get up and walk
out, going to get himself killed right now.
"Hey, hey, hey. I'm not going anywhere. Promise."
Sam nodded against Dean's chest and, with his older brother stroking his back
slowly, he fell back asleep. Dean laid there for hours, Sam in his arms, hating
his life. He hated the nightmares that it caused his little brother, he hated
going on hunting trips while Sam stayed behind and most of all, he hated
knowing that what he'd said to him, that he wouldn't leave him, was a promise
that he wasn't in control of.
Dean rubbed his eyes, rolling over. He was in bed by himself now, Sam had
probably woken up hours ago. When he sat up, John was sitting in front of his
laptop, deeply engrossed in whatever he was reading, and Sam was sitting on the
other bed, leaning against the headboard. His arms were crossed and he had his
bitch face on. Dean sighed, knowing that this wasn't going to be a good
morning.
"Mornin'…" He croaked out, in a tired voice.
Sam looked over at him, or glared is more like it; but before Dean could
complain, asking what the hell he did, John turned away from the computer and
started talking.
"Morning, Dean. Looks like there's a case in Nevada."
He turned his attention to his dad, still unsure why his brother was pissed at
him. "Yeah?"
"Yeah, and I'm gonna need some back up."
Oh…Well shit. That wasn't really Dean's fault, was it? So why was he the one
getting the death glares?
"I'm gonna go get some breakfast and some cash for Sam," John said, standing up
and grabbing his keys off the table. "Shower and get packed up while I'm gone.
I'll be back in about an hour."
"Yes sir." Dean nodded, tossing the blanket off of him and standing up.
As his dad walked out, Dean moved to the bathroom, closing the door behind.
Mid-piss, there was a loud thump on the bathroom door. He glanced back, brow
arched and finished up as quickly as he could.
"Sam, what the hell are you doing?" He opened the door to find one of his own
boots on the floor just outside of the bathroom and his brother was walking
around, throwing clothes in a suitcase.
"Packing for you." Sam snapped, "If you're gonna leave I'd rather it be sooner
than later. Then I don't have to sit around with you all day."
Dean rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Thanks for the help."
He closed the bathroom door again, turning the shower on and climbing in. Half
way through washing his hair, he heard another loud thump on the bathroom door.
"Damn it, Sam!" He rinsed his body, shut the water off and gave himself a quick
dry before wrapping a towel around his waist.
Opening the door, he was prepared to yell at Sam to stop fucking throwing
shoes, but was taken aback when he saw clothes on the floor. His eyes travelled
until he saw his brother, at the foot of their bed, knees drawn to his chest
and body shaking with sobs.
Dean could've swore he felt his heart breaking in his chest as he walked across
the room and sank to his knees next to Sam. Arms quickly wrapped around Dean,
tears soaking his chest as his little brother cried into his against him.
"Sammy…" Dean ran his fingers through Sam's hair, his free arm wrapped around
his back. "What's this all about?"
"You promised…" His body shook with another sob, and he clung tightly to Dean.
"Sammy, I don't have a choice…" Dean frowned, unhappy with this turn of events
mere hours after his brother's nightmare.
"You won't come back. Dean, you're not gonna come back…"
"Hey, hey. Don't say that," He pulled Sam so he was practically in Dean's lap.
"I'll come back, Sammy. I always come back."
Sam shook his head against Dean's chest. "You can't promise that…"
He sighed into Sam's hair, knowing it was true. And what was he supposed to
say? Nothing he said would make it better, so he just rocked his little brother
in his arms, petting his head and shushing him. It wasn't until he seemed all
cried out that Dean spoke.
"Okay, Sammy," He said, pushing him back gently. "I'm gonna need your help."
Sam furrowed his brow and tilted his head to the side questioningly.
"Call Dad. Ask where he is. Tell him that after he left I took a shower and
started packing, then ran to the bathroom and I've been in there throwing up
since."
Sam raised a brow, still confused.
"We're gonna convince him that he should leave me behind."
A smile spread across Sam's face and he stood up, walking over to the
nightstand and picking up Dean's phone. The older Winchester moved to sit on
the edge of the bed, watching Sam as he dialed a number and put the phone to
his ear. Dean pulled a shirt and boxers on while his brother talked into the
phone.
"Hey Dad…No, it's Sam…Where are you? …Because Dean's sick…Yeah, after you left
he took a shower and then was packing when he started throwing up…No, he made
it to the bathroom…He's still in there…Yeah, okay…Alright…I'll see you in a few
minutes…Bye, Dad."
Sam hung up and looked at Dean expectantly. "He's about ten minutes out."
"Okay. I'm gonna go try n' make myself throw up. But I need you to slap me
first."
"What? Why?" Sam furrowed his brow, looking at his brother as if concerned that
he might actually be sick and have a fever.
"I need my face to be red, so I look sick." He explained, hurriedly. "So slap
me or try to make me blush."
Sam raised a hand and gave Dean's right cheek a hard smack. It immediately
started turning pink and Sam smiled proudly.
"Ouch," Dean laughed, "At least you're good at that, 'cause you couldn't make
me blush if you tried."
Sam rolled his eyes and smacked Dean's other cheek. "Don't have time for that
now, but I'll test your theory later."
Dean's brows shot up. "I don't blush, little brother."
"Whatever. Go puke."
Shaking his head, Dean got up and laughed, walking to the bathroom. "Wish me
good luck." He crossed his fingers on one hand, pretending to gag with his
index finger on the other. When Sam rolled his eyes again, he grinned and shut
the door.
Sam slowly started putting Dean's clothes back, not sure what to do while he
waited or if this would even work. When all the clothes were folded neatly, he
sat on the edge of the bed, but immediately jumped back up as the door opened
and his dad stepped in.
"Still in the bathroom?" John asked, placing 3 coffees and a box of donuts on
the table.
Sam nodded and John walked over to lean against the door frame, knocking
softly. The answer that came was a cough, followed by gagging and what even Sam
believed to be Dean throwing up. There was a groan and the toilet flushed. They
heard the sink turn on and assumed Dean was rinsing his mouth. A moment later
he stumbled out, looking absolutely miserable. His hair was a mess, his cheeks
were flushed. He looked at his dad, frowning and shrugging and fell onto the
bed, crawling up to the top and pulling the covers over him.
John looked him over and sighed. "I'll call Bobby. See if he can't go with me."
Dean just nodded sadly. "Sorry, Dad…"
He waved a hand dismissively and fished his phone out of his pocket, walking
out the door. As soon as it was shut behind him, Sam crawled up on the bed next
to Dean and curled up to his back.
"Thank you, Dean…" He whispered.
"Don't mention it, Sammy. S'my job to take care of you, right?" He smiled over
his shoulder, "Now pretend you're checking my temperature or something. Dad
could come back in anytime now."
Sure enough, just as Sam stood on Dean's side of the bed and placed a hand to
his forehead, John walked back in.
"Hey, kid. I'm gonna head over to Bobby's. If you, try to eat something. I can
go by a store and get you some medicine before going to see Bobby."
"Don't worry about it, Dad," Sam told him, "I'll go down to the store."
"Good boy, Sam. Take care of your brother. If you need more money, Dean's got
his card. Here's some cash," He handed Sam a wad of cash, "I'll call in a
couple days and let you guys know how it's going."
He rustled Sam's hair, patted Dean's shoulder and walked out the door, grabbing
one of the coffees on the way out. They waited about ten minutes, sitting there
in silence, just in case, and then Dean shot up, grinning.
"So…Donuts?"
***** Chapter 2 *****
"You read too much, Nerd."
Sam looked up from his book to his brother, who was on the other bed, stretched
out and staring over at Sam. He looked bored. That was rarely a good sign. It
meant that he would be bugging his little brother.
"No I don't. You just don't read enough," Sam countered.
"I read plenty." Dean arched a brow, giving Sam a very serious look. "Come on.
I'm sick. Take care of me."
Sam rolled his eyes. "You're not sick."
"Fine. But you begged me to stay. So shouldn't you at least do something with
me?"
Closing his book, Sam sat up, legs crossed. He looked at his brother
expectantly.
"Well, what do you wanna do?"
"I dunno. Let's find a movie to watch."
Dean started flipping through the channels, but couldn't find anything remotely
appealing to either of them. He groaned falling back on the bed.
"We could go get something."
"Let's go then," Dean said, getting up and pulling his boots on.
He grabbed the keys to his Impala and Sam quickly pulled his sneakers on,
grinning ear to ear.
____
"No, Dean!" Sam whined, "Come on, you know I don't like clowns!"
"Oh, lighten up. You can pick a movie too, and you can sit with me while we
watch this one. I'll hold you if I have to."
Sam flushed and walked away without saying anything, determined to find a funny
movie to ease his mood after the horror. Dean followed after him, a smug grin
on his face.
"Want some candy and popcor-" He cut off when he saw the movie Sam was holding.
"Oh, come on, Sammy! That's a chick flick!"
"Yeah, and you picked a IT," Sam countered, "We're even. Yeah, I want some
candy and popcorn."
Dean grumbled, but otherwise made no effort to argue as they walked up to the
counter, picking up a few boxes of candy and a couple bags of popcorn. Sam
looked around at the posters while his brother paid.
"One day I'll teach you what a real movie is," Dean said, handing the bag with
the movies and snacks to his brother.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah…" Sam mumbled and opened his door, climbing in the Impala.
Dean got in the driver's side and put his keys in the ignition.
"Bitch."
"Jerk."
___
"Dean, can we get pizza?" Sam asked, crawling onto Dean's bed next to him.
"You're putting off the movie, Sammy." Dean cocked a brow and stretched his
arms, indicating that Sam could come cuddle with him like he clearly wanted to.
"M'not…" Sam grumbled, moving to up next to his brother.
Wrapping an arm around Sam's shoulder, Dean pulled him in closer. Sam rested
his head against Dean's chest. "M'just sayin' that we need to eat. More than
candy and popcorn."
"Fine," Dean said, with a dramatic sigh. "What kind do you want? We'll get
two."
"Vegetarian."
"Are you frikking kidding me?"
"Dean."
"Fine. God, you're such a girl." Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Dean let
go of his little brother. "You're gonna have to move, Sammy."
Sam moved so that he was sitting cross legged in the middle of the bed while
Dean walked over to the table, picked up a flyer that had been left on their
door a few days prior, and dialed a number. He ordered a vegetarian and meat
lovers pizza, gave the name and number on his stolen credit card and hung up.
"Should be here in about half an hour," He said, joining Sam on the bed again.
Sam nodded silently, looking down at his lap and toying with a string from his
shirt. "Hey, Dean?"
Dean looked up, startled by the small voice. "Yeah, Sammy?" He cocked a brow,
eyeing his brother who still hadn't looked up.
"It scares me, you know?" Sam said casually.
"What does?" There were a million things for Sam to be afraid of, so it was a
valid question.
Sam swallowed, looking briefly up at Dean and back down again. "When you go on
a hunting trip with Dad. I'm always scared you won't come back."
Dean leaned over, placing a hand under Sam's chin and lifting it up. "Sammy,
I'll always come back. I don't care what happens. I will always come back for
you, okay?"
Shaking his head, Sam looked at his brother with sad eyes. "You can't promise
that…"
Dean pulled Sam close, gathering him up in his arms. "You know what my main job
is?"
Long limbs wrapping around Dean, Sam sighed. "What?"
"To take care of you," Dean whispered, "And how can I do that if I'm gone,
huh?"
Sam shook, clinging to Dean.
"I can't. Which means I won't leave you. I need to be here to watch out for my
pain in the ass little brother."
"Not a pain in the ass…" Sam grumbled.
Dean ran a hand down Sam's back. "Sure you are, little brother."
Sam whined, but still clung to Dean.
"Always gonna here for you, okay?"
Sam squirmed as Dean squeezed his sides, tickling him.
"Okay?" Dean repeated and pinned his brother under him, hands moving to his
back where he knew Sam was especially ticklish.
Sam bucked up and pushed Dean, but he just grabbed his wrists in one hand,
holding them over his head. "Dean! Stop it!"
"Say okay." His free hand moved inside Sam's shirt to tickle him better.
"O…k-k-kay!"
Dean cocked a brow. "Huh? Didn't catch that."
"Okay, okay, okay!" Sam squirmed freeing his hands and catching Dean's. "You'll
always be here. Okay."
"Damn right," Dean muttered, suddenly very aware of the fact that he was
straddling his brother and their faces were inches from each other.
Sam swallowed hard, eyes flicking to Dean's lips and back up again. Dean knew
he should move, knew he should get off of his brother right then, pretend that
didn't see Sam's eyes move, that he hadn't done the same thing. He had been
ignoring his attraction to Sam for a year by this point. So there was no way he
could justify leaning forward further until he could feel his little brother's
breath on his lips, until Sam could surely feel his heart pounding in his
chest; but he did it anyway, watching Sam's eyes fall closed. He was just about
to close the final distance when there was knock on the door, causing him to
jump off the bed.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Dean looked out the window suspiciously and relaxed a bit.
"Pizza," he muttered as if he'd forgotten they'd ordered it.
"Oh. Yeah. Right. Of course."
He tried to ignore how disappointed Sam sounded (it was probably his
imagination anyway) and opened the door. The pizza girl was cute and he tried
to focus on that.
"Hi, Tori," he said with his usual charming grin as he read the girl's name
tag. "How's a pretty lady like yourself doin' tonight?"
"Fine, thank you." She spoke in a monotone voice, clearly not interested. Which
really didn't help Dean at all, since he wasn't really interested in her
either. He wanted to take the pizzas, set them down on the table and go kiss
his brother until neither of them could breath. God, how wrong was that?
"What ya got goin' on after work?" He asked, leaning against the door frame.
"Probably going home and hanging out with my girlfriend."
Oh...Damn it. Dean groaned internally.
"And your little brother looks like he could use some attention. So why don't
you take these pizzas and I'll get out of here so you can give it to him?"
Dean swallowed hard and nodded. Damn it. He really didn't want to be alone with
Sam because he really wanted to go give him some attention. Too much attention.
He signed his receipt, giving Tori a reasonable tip.
"Have a good night," he muttered and took the pizzas, closing the door. He set
them on the table and tried to avoid looking at Sam while he searched around
for the paper plates they kept. He was slow about pulling two out and putting a
couple pieces on each.
When he turned around and finally looked at his brother, Dean was startled by
how hard he was glaring at him. Slowly walking across the room, Dean set Sam's
plate down in front of him and sat cautiously on the edge of the bed.
"Did I do something to piss you off?" He asked innocently, brow arched.
"Yeah. You did," Sam muttered and Dean swallowed.
"Care to enlighten me?"
"This night is supposed to be about us. And you just tried to ditch me for a
girl."
"Oh, come on, Sammy," Dean said, looking at him pleadingly. "I was just
flirting."
"Yeah...You're always flirting."
"Never bugged you before," Dean muttered, trying to ignore the reason it might
be bugging him this time. Because damn it, his brother was not jealous and they
definitely hadn't been about to kiss. Nope. Definitely not.
"Actually it's always bothered me," Sam snapped.
Dean chewed on the inside of his lip, brow furrowed before asking a potentially
dangerous question. "Why?"
"It doesn't even matter. Let's just watch the movie." Glaring at his plate Sam
picked up a piece of pizza and took a bite.
"Sammy," Dean said, voice softening. "It does matter."
When the younger Winchester looked up with pain in his eyes Dean wanted to
smack himself. He was supposed to protect Sam, keep the pain away. He wasn't
supposed to be the one to cause it, god damn it.
"I just want my time with you to be about us. Not some girl. You already spend
most of your free time with girls...Can't you just forget about them when
you're with me?"
Dean sighed. He wanted to tell Sam that the only reason he did this was to
remind himself that he couldn't have his brother. He'd make plans with girls
while he was with Sam to take his mind off of him only to think about him later
when he was making out with them or fucking them in the back of the Impala.
"I'm sorry, Sammy," he finally said.
"Yeah, whatever," Sam muttered.
"Stop it," Dean said, grabbing Sam's chin and forcing him to make eye contact.
"I'm sorry. You're right. I'll stop."
Sam's eyes focused on Dean's like he wasn't sure he believed him and that broke
Dean's heart.
"C'mon. Let's eat and watch the movie. I'll hold you when we're done eating.
Make you feel better about the clowns, okay?"
"I don't need you to hold me, Dean. I'm not a little kid."
"Yeah yeah. Whatever," Dean said, trying not to feel hurt. It was true. Sam was
15 and Dean was 19. But somehow that hardly ever stopped any cuddling from
happening.
He put the movie in and started playing it. He wasn't paying attention, mind
too occupied with thoughts of Sam as they ate in silence. He wanted to smack
himself for hurting his little brother. He hated that Sam didn't seem to
believe him when he said he'd stop. It was like he'd failed him. Dean was
supposed to be the one Sam could always count on and trust no matter what and
the thought that-
"Dean?" A small voice said, startling him from his thoughts.
Dean shook his head and looked over at Sam who's eyes were wide as he glanced
back and forth between his older brother and the TV. It was pretty damn
adorable and Dean just held his arms out to his little brother.
"Come here, Sammy," he murmured and Sam scooted across the bed, curling up in
Dean's arms.
The older Winchester sighed and rested his chin against Sam's head. He tried to
pay attention. He really did. But it just felt so good, so right to be holding
Sam in his arms and it made it difficult, especially when the younger
Winchester wrapped his arms around Dean's waist and drew himself in closer.
At a particularly 'scary' part, Sam jumped and turned to bury his face in
Dean's chest, holding him tightly. Dean pet his head whispering, "Shhh, Sammy.
It's okay," and closed his eyes, kissing the top of his brother's head.
After a little while Sam started to slowly relax, but refused to look back
toward the TV and jumped every time there was a scream or startling noise. Dean
considered turning the movie off, but then Sam would move away sooner and he
felt bad, but wanted to take advantage of having him in his arms for as long as
he could.
Eventually Sam's breath started to even out and Dean looked down only to
realize that his brother had fallen asleep. He smiled softly and kissed the top
of his head. He carefully shifted so that he was laying down and when Sam clung
tightly to him, Dean smiled a bit wider. "S'okay, Sammy," he murmured, keeping
his arms around his brother as he closed his eyes. Within a few minutes Dean
drifted off, Sam's head rested against his chest.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Dean woke up to hot little puffs of air against his neck, an erection pressed
to his hip. Fuck.
“Sammy?” he whispered.
“Mmh, Dean,” came a half moaned reply. Double fuck.
He tilted his head just to double check, and sure enough, Sam was still
sleeping. He closed his eyes, and tried to ignore it, tried to go back to
sleep, but then it got worse. Sam started rocking against his hip, moaning
quietly in his sleep.
No no no no no. Dean could not deal with that. That was not going to help the
whole leave-your-little-brother-alone situation at all. He quickly disentangled
himself from his brother who whined in protest and tried to grab Dean causing
him to groan quietly. He made his way to the bathroom, closing the door behind
him and leaning against it. That was when he noticed his own hard on.
“Fuck,” he breathed, reaching down to palm himself through his jeans. That
quiet moan of his name replayed in his head and he groaned. He unbuttoned his
pants and pushed them down just enough to pull his cock out, stroking himself
slowly.
He tried hard not to think of anything, but he could still feel Sam pressed
against him, those hot puffs of breaths on his neck, those hands trying to pull
him back into bed. He could still hear his little brother moaning his name. And
he could just imagine it louder, his name falling from Sam’s lips over and
over, him screaming it as he came.
Before he knew it he was rocking into his hand, images of his brother writhing
under him, begging for more, flashing through his mind. and then he was
spilling over his fist, biting his lip to hold back a moan of Sam’s name that
was threatening to fall from his lips.
“Fuck,” he repeated, body shaking as he started to come down from his orgasm.
He pushed his clothes off and climbed into the shower, pushing all thoughts of
his brother far away.
Once Dean was all cleaned up he headed back into the main room, where his
brother was still sleeping, and got dressed before writing Sam a quick note:
Going to get breakfast Back in 20. Don’t answer the door for anyone. -Dean 10:
30
___
Dean was on his way out of the store when he literally ran into a cute
brunette, causing her to drop a bag.
“Shit, I’m sorry!” he apologized subtly checking her out as he grabbed picked
her bag up.
“No, it’s okay,” she said sweetly, her own eyes raking over him.
“Let me make it up to you,” he offered with a charming grin. “Say with dinner
tonight?”
___
When Dean got back to the motel fifteen minutes later Sam was sitting on the
edge of the bed, staring at the door and looking tense. He visibly relaxed when
Dean walked through.
“You said twenty minutes,” he mumbled. “That was thirty-five...”
“Gee. Thanks, Dad.” Dean rolled his eyes and put a few bags on the table.
“Cereal, lunch stuff, and TV dinners. You can have what you want tonight. I’ve
got a date.”
Sam huffed in annoyance. “Great. I get to spend the night alone and the
Impala’s gonna smell bad tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Well I could be with Dad right now. So suck it up. I’m staying here with
you so I might as well get something out of it.”
Sam looked like he’d been slapped and Dean immediately regretted his words.
“Well sorry I’m such a burden!”
“Sammy that’s not what I-”
“Forget it, Dean.”
___
Sam didn’t speak more than five words to Dean for the rest of the day no matter
how much his brother tried. He almost called Marie to cancel their date, but
after that morning he needed it. So at seven he headed out, telling Sam the
same thing Dad always told him. “Keep the door locked. Don’t answer for
anymore. Shoot first. Ask questions later.”
“‘Kay...”
Dean sighed. “See ya later, Sammy,” he mumbled, and closed the door behind
himself.
___
Two hours and a few shots of whiskey later found Dean falling into the back of
the Impala, Marie on top of him. Within five minutes she was bouncing up and
down on his cock moaning loudly. Dean was buzzed, but she was completely drunk
and didn’t notice that he groaned Sammy as he came.
___
 
Dean dropped Marie off with the promise that he’d call. He probably wouldn’t.
He took a few more shots in the motel parking lot listened to Led Zeppelin for
awhile. When he finally stumbled in he was drunk and Sam was already in bed. He
locked the door, kicked off his boots, dropped his jacket, and completely
bypassed his bed, climbing into Sam’s. He wrapped his arms around his brother
pulling him close.
“Dean?” Sam asked sleepily.
“So sorry, Sammy,” Dean slurred. “Not a burden. Just stressed. M’happy to be
here with you. Didn’t even like her. I’ll get some spray stuff. Don’t want the
Impala to smell. Sorry I fucked her. I love, Sammy.”
“You’re drunk,” Sam sighed.
“Sammy!”
“Okay, okay. I forgive you.”
“/Sammy/. I love you.”
“I love you too, Dean.”
Dean made a pleased noise, and kissed Sam’s forehead, pulling him closer.
Within two minutes he was passed out.
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Summary
     [Sorry for the long wait. I'm really bad at updated. I'm one of those
     people who you really just shouldn't read it until it's done. I'll do
     my best to update more frequently! Honest. This one's pretty cutesy.]
The sun was shining into the room far too brightly, and Dean groaned, pulling
the blanket over his head. His head that was pounding. He couldn’t remember
much of the previous night after dropping...some chick off. What he did
remember was climbing into bed with Sam. And now he was alone.
“Sammy?” he called wearily, starting to bring the blankets down.
“I’m here, Dean,” he heard a voice say from across the room.
He pulled the blankets down the rest of the way, and looked over to see Sam
sitting at the table reading a book, little nerd that he was, all absorbed like
it was the best thing in the damn world.
“Hey, Sammy,” he said softly, groaning as he tried to push himself so that he
was sitting up, and causing his head to pound a little more.
“Hey,” Sam answered, not looking up from his book.
Dean sighed, and leaned back against the headboard. “So you’re talking to me
now?”
Sam flipped the page in his book. “Apparently.”
“Think you could look at me too?” Dean asked, brow cocked.
“Nah, you probably look like shit.”
Dean smiled at the tone in Sam’s voice. “Shut up, bitch.”
“First you want me to talk. Now you want me to shut up. You’re not makin’ much
sense...” Sam marked his page, and closed his book, looking up. “Jerk.”
Dean grinned widely. “We good?”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Well I’m pretty sure you were gonna cry last night if I
didn’t forgive you, so yeah. I guess so.”
Dean huffed, and considered throwing something at Sam, but that involved
moving, so he decided against it. “If you get me some pain pills, and water
I’ll make it up to you, okay? We’ll go swimming, and get ice cream.”
“No girls?” Sam asked, brow cocked.
“No girls,” Dean promised. “Just us.”
~
So this was the problem with Dean’s with; Sam was really growing into his body.
With a shirt on he looked pretty scrawny, but when he was just wearing swimming
trunks you could see his muscles. There weren’t a lot, but they were still
there. Training with Dad would do that. Then there was the way the trunks
rested perfectly on his hips. Yeah, Dean would be taking another long, guilty
shower later.
Sam jumped into the pool right next to where Dean was effectively splashing
water everywhere, including in his eyes.
“Canon ball?” he said innocently when he rose up from under the water, and Dean
was glaring at him.
“You’re gonna pay for that,” Dean mock-growled, and Sam laughed, quickly trying
to swim away.
He was fast, but not fast enough, and it wasn’t more than thirty seconds before
Dean was grabbing him by the leg, pulling him back.
“De! No!” Sam whined, kicking his feet, but Dean’s hold was too tight, and
moments later he was being held up over his brother’s shoulder to be thrown in
the water. He gave up his fight, and splashed, going deep under water.
Dean grinned, and looked around, wondering where Sam would pop up. He was
taking too long though, and Dean was starting to get worried. He looked around,
but couldn’t see him anywhere. Just as he was about to go under water something
grabbed his leg, and pulled him under. It took him a few seconds to figure out
what was going on, and when he came back up Sam was laughing. “You little
bitch!”
This time Sam was already a little bit away, so he had a head start, but Dean
caught him soon enough, arms wrapping tightly around his waist from behind. Sam
immediately started to squirm, trying to break free from Dean’s grip, and the
older brother silently thanked the cold water for helping keep his boner away.
“What’s wrong, Sammy?”
“Lemme go, De!” The brother complained, though he was laughing.
“Nah.,” Dean replied, and wrapped his arms more tightly around Sam.
After a few more minutes of struggling his body relaxed, and he leaned back in
Dean’s arms, head resting against his shoulder. They floated around like that
for awhile, but then Sam started falling asleep.
“Sammy,” Dean whispered in his ear.
“Mmm...?”
“Let’s go get some ice cream then go back to the motel, and watch your chick
flick.”
“S’not a chick flick,” Sam grumbled, opening his eyes.
“Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. Let’s go watch your not-chick-flick.”
~
That night Dean made dinner for them. Nothing special, just a couple big cans
of Spaghettios, and Sam set up the movie. The younger Winchester seemed to be
in a relatively good mood since his brother didn’t so much as flirt with a
girl, let alone try to get a number, or ditch him for one. It’d been a pretty
good day for both of them, and if Dean had gotten himself off thinking about
how his brother looked in his trunks, and felt pressed up against him,
well...nobody had to know that.
“God, I can’t believe I’m actually watch this,” Dean groaned, handing Sam his
bowl, and crawling onto the bed next to him.
“Shut up. I watch It with you,” Sam huffed.
“No, you slept on my chest while /I/ watch It,” Dean corrected before taking a
large bite of his Spaghettios.
“I watched part of it,” Sam mumbled before pressing play.
Dean decided to let Sam have that one, and ate quietly, making comments on the
movie now and then. When they were both done eating he went to wash the bowls,
and laid down, head in his brother’s lap. Sam cocked a brow, but didn’t say
anything, and it wasn’t long before he fell asleep.
When he woke up awhile later the movie was still playing, and Sam’s fingers
were trailing absently along his arm. Dean smiled to himself, and closed his
eyes, drifting back off to sleep.
***** Chapter 6 *****
“Dean, I don’t know how to kiss.”
 
The older Winchester looked up from the magazine he was flipping through. They
were both sitting on their bed, Dean leaning against the headboard, Sam more
toward the middle, legs crossed. “You gotta be kidding me.”
 
Sam’s brows knit together, and he glared at Dean.
 
“Okay, okay. Chill the bitch face.” Dean shook his head, and set the magazine
down. “But seriously? You’ve never kissed a girl?”
 
Sam shifted uncomfortably and gave a small shrug, looking down at his lap. “I
mean, yeah. Just…not with tongue, or anything, you know?”
 
Dean stretched out, leaning back against the headboard more comfortably,
fingers laced together over his stomach. “It’s pretty simple, Sammy.”
 
“Can you teach me?”
 
Dean’s breath caught in his throat, bows shooting up. He fought back his
immediate response of, ‘Yes! Yes, please let me’. He swallowed, and tried to
look casual as he said, “Uh…Not sure what you mean. How the hell am I supposed
to explain kissing…?”
 
Sam huffed, still staring at his own legs, refusing to look up at Dean. “I
mean…show me, you know?”
 
His voice was so quiet that almost didn’t hear at all, but it still made his
heart pound so hard he wouldn’t have been surprised if it leapt out of his
chest.
 
“Look…If I do you can’t tell anyone. ‘Specially Dad.” Dean couldn’t believe he
was saying this. His answer should’ve been, /No. No, Sammy. Absolutely not.
Brothers don’t do that shit./
 
“I know,” Sam answered quickly, looking up with far too hopeful eyes. “I won’t
tell anyone. Promise. Please, Dean?”
 
/I’m going to Hell/, he thought as he nodded. “Yeah…Yeah, okay Sammy.”
 
The younger brother’s eyes brightened and it was so clear that he was holding
back a smile that Dean knew he couldn’t regret this, not if it made Sammy so
happy.
 
“Come here,” he murmured, shifting so that his legs were stretched out, and his
back was straight against the headboard. Sam shifted close to Dean, and he
patted his lap. “It’ll make you a little taller than me,” he excused. “Like if
I was a girl.”
 
“Right. Right, yeah,” Sam mumbled, moving so he was straddling Dean. He
awkwardly played with his hands,obviously unsure what to do with them.
 
Dean licked his lips nervously. “‘Kay, um…” He cleared his throat. “I’m…I’m
gonna show you what to do, and then you try, alright?”
 
Sam nodded, staring at Dean with wide eyes. After clearing his throat again
Dean gave a nod of his own, and slowly brought a hand up to cup his brother’s
cheek. For a minute he just stared up at him, thumb brushing gently over his
cheekbone.
 
“Girls like it when you do this,” he whispered, though that really had nothing
to do with why he was doing it. “Make ‘em feel all special n’ shit.”
 
“That makes sense,” Sam breathed, staring into Dean’s eyes. After a minute the
hand on his cheek slid to the back of his neck, and slowly pulled him in so
that their mouths were inches apart, and they could feel each other’s breath.
Dean wet his lips, and Sam’s eyes immediately flicked down to track the motion
before he copied it. They were still for a few moments, just breathing the same
air. Dean’s heart was racing like he’d just run a marathon, and shit, he hadn’t
even done anything yet.
 
Finally he closed his eyes, and moved in the rest of the way, just barely
kissing Sam, not much more than a brush of their lips. A small whimper escaped
the younger brother’s throat, and Dean smirked.
 
“Makes you want it more, huh?” he whispered, lips moving against Sam’s as he
spoke.
 
“Yeah,” Sam whispered back, whining at the touch of their lips. “Please, De…”
 
That was all the encouragement he needed to close the last of the distance,
pressing his lips softly against Sam’s. It was amazing that his heart didn’t
give out on him right then with how hard it was pounding. His brother’s lip
felt perfect. They were soft, and full, and followed so easily when Dean’s
moved slowly against them. His free hand grabbed one of Sam’s, bringing it to
his shoulder, and apparently he caught on because then both arms were wrapping
around his neck.
 
Dean’s arm slowly snaked around Sam’s waist, pulling him in closer as he
nibbled lightly on his lower lip. That action caused him to gasp, and Dean took
the opportunity to lick into his mouth. He had to fight back a groan at the
taste of Sammy’s mouth because, wow. Inappropriate. As if tasting said mouth in
the first place somehow wasn’t. Sam didn’t seem to care though because he
moaned, fingers coming to tangle in Dean’s hair as he hesitantly moved his
tongue back against his.
 
Dean’s hold on Sam tightened as he curled his tongue around the other’s, and
Sam whimpered (again/once more), tugging lightly at his hair. Again Dean fought
back a groan. Their tongues continued to move together, and where Sam started
off sloppy he picked up quick. When they finally pulled back they were both
short of breath, cheeks flushed slightly pink.
 
The older brother stared up, unable to think of anything other than how good he
looked like that, eyes filled with awe, and desire, lips parted slightly,
cheeks a little more pink than usual. For a long moment they were quiet, and
then Dean whispered, “Ready to try?”
 
Sam swallowed, and Dean watched his Adam’s Apple move. “Yeah…”
 
They continued to stare at each other silently for a long moment, and Dean was
cool with that. He didn’t try to push it, not pressuring Sam at all. It was
completely worth it when his little brother leaned forward, and just barely
brushed their lips together like Dean had done. His breath shook, fingers
digging lightly into the small of Sam’s back.
 
“Does it make you want it more too?” Sam asked in a whisper, and Dean swallowed
hard.
 
“Yeah…”
 
A shaky breath was let out against Dean’s lips, and his hair was tugged lightly
as Sam muttered a curse. “Y-you want it too…?”
 
Dick licked his lips nervously. “Yeah…Yeah, Sammy. I want it.”
 
With that the younger brother closed the distance, pressing their lips firmly
together, and god that felt so good. Even better was when his tongue flicked
out to run over Dean’s bottom lip. The older boy’s lips parted, and Sam licked
into his mouth.
 
This time Dean didn’t even try to fight back his groan, and it only seemed to
encourage Sam, pushing him to lick further into Dean’s mouth. He pressed in
closer to him until their chests were flush together, and let out a moan when
Dean started to suck on his tongue.
 
It was a few minutes before they pulled back, both panting softly, and Dean’s
hands ran slowly up Sam’s back.
 
“You’ll knock ‘em dead,” Dean murmured with a small smirk. “Fuckin’ over
achiever.”
 
Sam flushed a little deeper. “You say that like it’s a bad thing…”
 
Dean snorted, and because he couldn’t help it with Sam in his lap like this he
pressed another kiss to his lips. This one was more soft, and chaste than the
others, and Sam seemed to melt into it, body relaxing, head coming to rest
against Dean’s shoulder when it ended.
 
“You…you wanted that?” he murmured hesitantly against Dean’s neck, and the
older brother tensed slightly, afraid to answer, so he continued. “S’okay if
you did, Dean. I…/I/ did. Didn’t just…wanna learn. I…wanted to…to kiss /you/.”
 
“Serious?” Dean hated the hopeful tone in his own voice.
 
“Serious…”
 
He was quiet for a moment, lips slowly forming a smile. “Yeah…I wanted it.”
 
Sam pulled back, grinning widely at Dean. “So…you think I can kiss you more
often?”
 
“Yeah…Sure, Sammy.”
 
Yep. He was definitely going to hell.
***** Chapter 7 *****
“Dude, unlock it,” Dean called as he knocked on the bathroom door.
 
John looked up from the computer just as Dean opened the door, and slipped into
the bathroom. He glanced back, watching his dad’s attention turn back to the
laptop, and closed the door behind himself.
 
“Why’d you have the door locked anyway? It’s not like we’ve never seen na-”
Dean cut off as he pulled the shower curtain with the intention of kissing his
brother like hadn’t been able to do much since their dad got back. “/Oh/.”
 
Sam shuffled awkwardly, trying to hide his erection, which was proving hard
given that he was completely naked.
 
Dean grinned slowly. “Whatcha thinkin’ about, Sammy?”
 
“Dean,” Sam whined, “Come on. Just take your piss before Dad starts wondering
why you’re still in here.”
 
“Alright, alright.” Dean leaned into the shower, careful not to get wet, and
pressed a kiss to Sam’s lips. “Continue as you were.”
 
He grinned, standing there for a few seconds, his eyes closed to try and relax
before he stepped out of the bathroom, and closed the door behind himself. When
he looked up his dad was pulling on his boots, and that alone kept him
lingering near the bathroom.
 
“I’m gonna go get some groceries,” John said, standing up.
 
When he was the one going it meant for more than food (groceries in the
Winchester household included ammo), so he’d probably be gone for at least an
hour.
 
“Okay,” Dean answered, proud of how casual he sounded.
 
“I’ll be back in a while, let Sammy know.”
 
“Yes sir.”
 
John nodded, and then he was out the door, locking it behind him. After a
couple minutes Dean opened the bathroom door again. Completely oblivious was
Sam stroking himself, moaning quietly.
 
“Sammy!” Dean laughed when his brother jumped, nearly falling, and flushed
deeply. “Come on. Dad’s gone, get outta there.”
 
“Dean!” Sam stuck his head out. “Jesus, just let me finish.”
 
“I will,” Dean insisted. The brothers had taken to making out, or kissing
whenever they were alone, but it’d never gotten past that. No touching below
the belt, or under clothes. As if that somehow made it all okay. “We can make
out while you do.”
 
Sam’s eyes widened slightly. “Wh-what? Seriously…?”
 
“Yeah, yeah. Come on. Stop wasting time. Wanna kiss you.”
 
There was only a moment’s hesitation, and then Sam turned off the shower, and
climbed out, grabbing a towel to dry himself off quickly. Then he was being
dragged into the other room, and pushed onto their bed. Dean crawled up next to
his little brother, and laid down so that he was facing him. His fingers card
through the other’s hair, and then he was kissing him, slow and wet. Sam let
out a small, needy moan, hand coming up to rest on Dean’s shoulder as his hips
moved forward.
 
“S’okay, Sammy,” Dean whispered against his lips. “Go on. Touch yourself.”
 
Hesitantly the younger Winchester brought his hand down to wrap around his
cock, stroking slowly. Dean let his lips travel down Sam’s jaw and neck so that
he could watch.
 
“F-feel kinda weird,” Sam mumbled, though there was a small moan in his words.
 
“What feels weird?” Dean nipped at Sam’s neck, smirking a little at the whimper
that got.
 
“You’re all dressed,” Sam mumbled, breath hitching as he started to stroke
himself faster.
 
“Want me to take my clothes off?”
 
Sam nodded quickly, letting out a long moan. God, Dean had never heard someone
moan so perfectly. He slowly let him go, and pulled his shirt over his head,
tossing it to the side. sam’s eyes slid slowly down his torso, and he bit down
on his lower lip thumb brushing lightly over the head of his cock. Dean
actually flushed a bit under the attention.
 
“Th-thought you didn’t blush,” Sam murmured, lips twitching up slightly.
 
“Shut up, bitch,” Dean muttered with a small grin as he started undoing his
jeans.
 
“Wh-whatever, jerk,” Sam breathed, eyes flicking down to watch Dean as he undid
his pants, and pushed them down along with his boxers.
 
He was half hard at that point, and wrapped his fingers around his cock,
stroking himself slowly.
 
A groan fell from his lips when he looked sam over, and noticed that he was
stroking himself at the same pace, eyes glued to Dean’s dick. He laid back down
next to his brother and slid his free hand slowly up his torso.
 
“Feel good, Sammy?” he whispered, kissing at his jaw.
 
“Yeah,” Sam moaned, hand coming up to clutch at Dean’s side.
 
“What were you thinkin’ about in the shower?”
 
Sam squirmed slightly as Dean nibbled on his earlobe. “I…At first I was…There’s
this really cute girl at school…”
 
“Yeah? What’s she look like, Sammy?” Dean locked behind Sam’s ear, and sucking
lightly down his neck, careful not to leave any marks.
 
“She…she’s got long, dark hair. Brown eyes. Really soft looking lips…”
 
“Wanna feel those lips around your cock?”
 
Sam let out a long moan, rocking into his own hand a little bit, and Dean
lightly pinched his nipple, biting gently at his shoulder.
 
“Ye-yeah I do,” Sam panted softly, and Dean stroked himself faster.
 
“Tell me more about what she looks like, Sammy.”
 
“She…she’s got /really/ nice curves.”
 
“What about her tits?”
 
“They’re so…so perfect, Dean,” Sam moaned.
 
“Wanna suck on ‘em?”
 
They were both stroking themselves faster. Dean’s lips moved over Sam’s
shoulder and neck,not daring to move down further, and Sam’s fingers dug into
his skin.
 
“/Yes/,” he gasped.
 
“What else do you wanna do, Sammy?”
 
“Wanna…I wanna go down on her,” he moaned, breath coming heavier as Dean nipped
back up his neck.
 
“Wanna eat ‘er out, Sammy? Think she’d taste good?”
 
A broken moan escaped the younger Winchester’s lips, fist moving faster, and
Dean matched his speed.
 
“Y-yeah. Mmh. God…Yeah, Dean. Fuck, I’m so close.”
 
“Said that’s what you w-were thinkin’ about first,” Dean panted against his
skin. “Wh-what’d you start thinkin’ about?”
 
“You,” Sam moaned loudly, and that ripped a groan from Dean.
 
“What about me?”
 
“Touching you. Y-you touching me. Letting me bl-blow you…Oh God, Dean. Please!”
 
“One day, Sammy,” Dean groaned, biting at his neck. “Promise. One day.”
 
Sam whimpered, rocking into his hand. “/So/ close, De!”
 
“Yeah,” Dean panted, rocking into his fist at the same speed as his brother.
“Me too. Come for me, Sammy.”
 
As if all he’d been waiting for was Dean’s permission Sam let out a loud moan
of his brother’s name, and then he was spilling over his fist, nails digging
into Dean’s back. A few more thrusts, and the older Winchester was following
suit.
 
They laid there panting, and kissing slowly for a few minutes before Dean
finally pulled away, murmuring that he’d be right back when Sam started to
complain. He came back a minute later with a washcloth and gently cleaned his
brother off.
 
“Did you mean it?” Sam asked, staring up at Dean.
 
“Mean what, Sammy?”Dean finished cleaning Sam up and he tossed the washcloth to
the dirty laundry, laying down next to him.
 
“That we’ll do that stuff someday. That you want it.” Sam buried his face in
the crook of Dean’s neck, and was pulled in close.
 
“Yeah, Sammy. I meant it.”
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Notes
     I am so sorry for the lack of updates. My plan is to update at least
     every Wednesday from now on since we're on hiatus. I will do my best
     to follow by this. It should hopefully be easier with school ending
     soon. Thank you to everyone who's still following!
Dean’s heart pounded in his chest, threatening to burst out. His stomach
twisted into knots. He was torn between wanting to cry, scream, or throw up,
maybe he’d do all three.
 
He sat down on the edge of Sam’s bed because his knees were shaking, and he was
pretty sure they’d give out on him soon otherwise. He stared down at the
acceptance letter almost uncomprehendingly.
 
Sammy got accepted into Stanford. No surprise. The kid was a fricking genius.
But the thing was, Sam got accepted into Stanford, but he didn’t tell Dean. He
hadn’t even told him he was applying. Sam was leaving, and he hadn’t said a
damn thing.
 
_ _ _ _
 
“Just once,” Sam whispered, moving in closer to Dean as they laid in bed
together. It’d been about six months since the first time they jerked off
together, and Dean still hadn’t allowed any blow the belt touching. “Through
your jeans, Dean. That’s all. Just through your jeans. Please?”
 
And how the hell was he supposed to deny Sammy when he asked like that? He was
never capable of denying Sam anything, not really. It just seemed like he
denied him frequently because he tried, he couldn’t just give in immediately.
 
“Okay, fine,” he said, sliding his hand down to palm Sam through his jeans as
his brother began to do the same for him. They were both already hard, and
close from making out, heavy petting, and grinding against each other. The
relief of being touched by the each other just made it better and it wasn’t
long before the were groaning, and panting, coming in their pants.
 
Dean got to shower first since it had been Sam’s idea but he hurried, not
wanting his little brother to have to deal with the mess. When they were both
clean they laid in bed kissing lazily until they both fell asleep.
 
- - - -
 
All he’d been doing was looking for Sam’s porno mags that he tried to pretend
he didn’t have, he’d just wanted something to jerk off to because his own mags
were getting old, and Sam was out.
 
His eyes were glued to the page as if staring at it long enough might somehow
change the meaning. Like it might say that no, Sammy wasn’t leaving him. Of
course he wasn’t. Why would he do that?
 
——
 
“I wanna touch you,” Sam murmured one night when they were making out, grinding
against each other, palming the other’s cocks through their jeans.
 
“Sammy…” Dean didn’t like saying no to this kind of thing, and damn, he wanted
those fingers around him so bad. He wanted to run his own fingers along Sam’s
shaft, tease him, and make him squirm. But fuck, Sam was sixteen and he was
twenty. Wasn’t there something ethically wrong with that? As if there wasn’t
already so many things wrong with what they were doing.
 
“Come on, Dean.” Sam just had to go, and give him puppy dog eyes. That fucking
cheater. “I know I won’t be as good as the girls who do it, but I can try.”
 
That was it. They didn’t talk about the other people Dean screwed around with
much. They hardly talked about the girls Sam had made out with. It wasn’t
really jealousy. There was a deal they had that it was okay to mess around with
other people because it felt to Dean like just screwing around with Sam wasn’t
okay. They were fricking brothers. They needed to have something normal, but he
never thought of them as better than Sam.
 
He slowly started working on the button of Sam’s jeans before tugging down the
zipper. “They don’t make me feel better than you do, Sammy.”
 
After he shoved his hand down Sam’s pants the younger Winchester followed suit,
moaning at the feeling of Dean’s hand on him. They both fumbled a bit at first,
neither of them used to actually stroking a dick that wasn’t their own, but
they quickly figured it out. Within minutes they were laying in each other’s
arms, panting softly.
 
“Love you, Dean,” Sam mumbled sleepily, and Dean tensed up for a moment. He
didn’t like saying that he loved people, but he did love Sam. He loved him far
more than he should, so he mumbled back, “You too, Sammy.”
 
——
 
When Sam came back to the motel, Dean was laying on the bed their dad thought
was his. He had started getting them their own room sometime between Sam’s
sixteenth, and seventeenth birthdays, saying that they should have their own
beds. Of course they had no complaints about that. They’d screw around in one,
and sleep in the other, though they kept their things by their respective beds.
This was the one they slept in.
 
The acceptance letter lay on the bed next to. The door opened, and his head
snapped up, eyes flicking from the ceiling to where his brother was walking in.
 
“Hey,” Sam greeted, dropping some bags on the table and starting to toe off his
shoes. “Dad went to have a few beers. Looks like we’re alone for the rest of
the night…”
 
The meaning that was obvious, Sam wanted to screw around. Dean just grunted in
response, and made no move to get up, his gaze returned to the ceiling.
 
“Dean, what’s-” Before Sam could finish the acceptance letter was thrown at
him. “What is th-” He was cut off again as he picked up the paper. There was a
minute of silence and then he quietly started, “Dean, I…”
 
“I don’t wanna fucking hear,” Dean snapped. He stood up, pushing past Sam, and
walking out of the room.
***** Chapter 9 *****
“I wanna suck you,” Sam whispered as he ran his thumb over the head of Dean’s
cock, spreading precome over it.
 
Dean bit back a groan. “Sammy, no.”
 
“Come on, Dean,” Sam murmured, biting, and sucking at his brother’s neck. “I’m
almost seventeen now, why can’t I blow you?”
 
“‘Cause, Sammy,” Dean answered weakly, hand stuttering over the younger
brother’s cock.
 
“‘Cause isn’t a good answer,” Sam mumbled. “You let all those girls suck you.”
 
“Sammy,” Dean sighed. “C’mon, don’t be like that.”
 
“Like what?” Sam pulled back to look up at Dean. “It’s true. You let them do
whatever they want. You have sex with them, and all I’m allowed to do is give
you a hand job. It’s not fair.”
 
Dean frowned, pulling Sam a little closer. “You mean way more to me than any of
them though, Sammy, they don’t mean anything.”
 
“I know,” Sam mumbled, “But that’s not the point. If they don’t mean anything
how come they get to do so much more than me?”
 
Dean was quiet for a minute, and then let out a sigh. “Fine.”
 
In an instant Sam was between Dean’s legs, tongue moving hesitantly over his
slit, lapping up the precome. Dean groaned, unable to believe how amazing that
curious tongue felt, and holy shit, Sam must’ve liked it too because he was
moaning as he dipped his tongue into the slit, trying to get more precome. Dean
quickly found his fingers tangling in that too long hair, just trying to find
something for purchase.
 
“Fu-fuck,” he groaned as Sam’s lips finally wrapped around the head of his
cock, surrounding it in wet heat.
 
It was messy, and wet. Sam could only take him about half way, and he kept
having to pull back for air, but he stroked whatever he wasn’t sucking the
whole time, using his saliva to slick the way, and he didn’t complain. No, he
kept fucking moaning, and was so damn enthusiastic. It was some of the best
head Dean had ever got. It didn’t take long before he began having to fight to
be keep his hips still, fingers tugging at Sam’s hair, groans slipping passed
his lips almost constantly.
 
“Sammy,” he groaned, “Fuck, Sammy. G-gonna come.” He tried to pull his
brother’s head off, but seemed insistent on sucking him through his orgasm. He
lifted his head to look down, and groaned at the sight. Sam was working him
over the best he could, lips stretched around his cock, hand stroking what he
couldn’t take in time with the bobs of his head, and to top it all off he was
rubbing against the mattress, apparently trying to get some friction.
 
That was it. That sight was all it took. He pulled his hand away from Sam’s
head so that he didn’t push it down. Fingers curled in the sheets, head thrown
back again, he came with a string of curse mixed with “Sammy”, and “Oh my god”.
Sam swallowed down every drop, moaning loudly as he did.
 
When Dean’s cock started softening he pulled off, giving soft little licks, and
cleaning him off. He seemed perfectly content to just stay like that, but when
Dean hissed, too sensitive, he sat up looking at Dean expectantly.
 
“How do you want me to take care of you?” Dean asked.
 
Sam flushed slightly, resting his hands on his thighs, and shaking his head.
“I’m…I’m good.”
 
“Come on, Sammy. You gotta at least let me-” He cut off, watching Sam’s flush
deepen, eyes moving down to see his brother’s softening cock, wet with come.
“Oh.”
 
Dean slowly grinned as he pulled Sam down into his arms. “Guess we both liked
it.”
 
Sam let out a breathy laugh as he curled up to Dean’s side. “Yeah,” he mumbled,
“Guess so.”
 
-
 
Dean was already unlocking the Impala when he heard Sam call his name. Which
really wasn’t to say he took a long time, just that Dean was moving fast.
 
“Dean, you weren’t supposed to find out like this,” Sam called.
 
Dean spun around so that he was facing his little brother as he approached him.
“And how was I supposed to find out, Sammy? Were you planning to tell me the
day you left?”
 
“What?! No!” Sam stared at Dean with wide, astonished eyes. “How could you
think I would do that?”
 
Dean kept his expression hard, not wanting to let on all the things he was
feeling, the pain caused by his uncertainty. “I didn’t think you would keep
this from me, but I guess I was wrong about that, so how am I supposed to
know?”
 
Before Sam got a chance to respond Dean was in the Impala. He started her up,
ignoring the pleas to stay, and peeled out of the parking lot.
 
-
 
“Dean,” Sam moaned, fingers tangling in his brother’s short hair as he watch
him bob up and down on his cock. “F-feels so good.”
 
This wasn’t the first time he’d gotten a blowjob from his brother, but he
seemed to be slowly getting better at it. Sam was more of a natural. A natural
that could control his fricking gag reflex.
 
Dean just hummed in response to Sam’s words, pleased that his confidence was
actually justified. He knew he wouldn’t always be able to give Sam better head
than all of the girls he’d get it from (so far there was just one girl, and it
was her first time), but he could still make him feel damn good, and that was
enough for him.
 
Suddenly, as he was dipping his tongue into the slit of Sam’s cock, he had an
idea. Sam had been trying to get Dean to fuck him ever since the blowjobs
started (“Come on, you can fuck my face, but not my ass?”), but Dean had yet to
give in to that one. He figured he should at least wait until Sam was eighteen,
and they were both consenting adults. There was one thing he could do though
that any of the girls he was likely to be with before they screwed wouldn’t do.
Hell, he’d be impressed if Sam ever found a girl willing to do it for him.
 
When he pulled off of Sam’s cock the younger Winchester whined. “Dean! Why’re
you stopping?”
 
Dean just chuckled, and said, “Trust me, Sammy. You’re gonna like this.”
 
He lightly sucked down his shaft, and licked at his balls before pushing his
legs further apart, and murmuring, “Lift your hips.” Sam obeyed immediately,
and Dean spread his cheeks. There was a moment’s hesitation, and then licked
around the rim.
 
The gasp from Sam’s lips that quickly turned into a moan was more than worth
it. That was all the encouragement he needed to dip his tongue inside, slowly
starting to work it in and out. Apparently that was really good to Sam because
before he knew it his brother was holding his head there, pushing back on his
tongue, and moaning so loudly Dean hoped his dad hadn’t gotten back to his room
yet He couldn’t pull back to warn him he should be quiet if he wanted to
though, and he definitely didn’t want to anyway. Those noises were more
beautiful, and sexy than any moans he’d ever heard before, from the chicks he
slept with, or Sam.
 
He found himself rubbing against the mattress, seeking any kind of friction for
his leaking hard on, an by the time Sam came he was close, so damn close. Then
his hole tightened as he orgasmed, clenching down around his tongue, and that
was it. That was all he could take. A long moan, and he was coming all over the
sheets.
 
When Sam finally let his head go he pulled back, panting, and looked up at him.
“So you liked that?”
 
Sam lifted his head so that he could look down at Dean instead of staring up at
the ceiling. “Are you kidding me? That was amazing.”
 
Dean grinned, glad he’d pleased his brother. “Good. Let’s go get cleaned up.”
 
Sam frowned, brows drawing together. “What about you?”
 
Dean chewed on his lower lip. “Um…Remember how you really liked giving me head
that first time? Well, I…really liked this.”
 
For a second Sam looked confused, but then his eyes widened in understanding.
“Oh! Well, uh…okay. Let’s…yeah, let’s get cleaned up.”
 
They took a shower together, Dean washing Sam’s hair, and twenty minutes later
they were laying in bed together, Sam curled up to Dean’s side as they watched
Star Trek.
 
-
 
Dean headed straight for the bar. He needed to get his mind off of things. The
first one he stopped in front of had his dad’s truck in the parking lot. He
cursed, having forgotten what Sam said, and continued driving until he came
across the next bar.
 
Six shots of whiskey, and a few lame pick up lines later he found himself in
the back of the Impala with a pretty brunette. It did little to take his mind
off Sam. All he could think while she was bouncing on his cock-tight, and wet,
and so damn good-was how he still hadn’t gone all the way with Sam because he
wanted to make it special, and how now he probably wouldn’t get that chance.
 
The woman seemed to notice that his attention was elsewhere as she slowed down,
and gave him a concerned look. This wasn’t fair, he decided, and forced all
thought of Sam away as he laid her down, and fucked her for all she was worth.
It wasn’t a bad lay, all things considered, but somehow when he pulled out, and
tied a knot in the condom as he made sure she was satisfied (Which she was.
Very. Even gave him her number so they could do it again sometime) he felt
dirty.
 
By the time he got back to the motel Sam was in bed (the one they slept in, and
called Dean’s), but definitely not asleep. He was far too still for that. Dean
stripping down to his boxers, and climbed into bed, slipping up behind his
brother, and wrapping his arm around Sam’s waist. A sigh of relief escaped the
younger’s lips, and he grabbed Dean’s arm, pulling it to his chest, and
wrapping his own arms around it.
 
“I’m sorry, Dean,” he whispered.
 
Dean was quiet for a moment, just holding his brother close, chest pressed up
against his back. When he finally spoke it was barely more than a whisper.
“Don’t leave me.”
 
“It’s not you I’m trying to leave,” Sam whispered back.
 
“But you’re still leaving me too.” Dean swallowed, pressing kisses to the back
of Sam’s neck.
 
Sam sighed softly at the kisses, and ran his fingers along Dean’s arm. “I’m so
sorry.”
***** Chapter 10 *****
The next couple weeks were difficult to say the least. They were strained, the
air was tense around the brothers almost constantly. They still slept in the
same bed together, and cuddled, but Dean was more reluctant to let go than
usual. They still messed around, but it felt more desperate, and Dean had a
hard time coming.
 
Sam was being especially nice. He bought Dean pie, and cleaned his guns for
him. When Dad left a hunt to them he offered to do all the research without
even pulling a bitch face. Under normal circumstances Dean would’ve loved it,
and maybe paid Sam back by going down on him. Instead it felt wrong. It didn’t
really mean anything. It was just that “I’m sorry” all over again.
 
They didn’t talk about it, not since that night. Dean had asked “when?”, and
Sam had answered with, “The semester starts a little over a month.” He said
he’d tell John a week before he left, give him a little bit of time to adjust.
That almost started another fight, Dean snapping, “Is that what you were gonna
do? Give me a week?”
 
“Dean…No,” Sam had replied softly, “I didn’t know what to say. I was just
trying to figure out how to tell you.”
 
Dean had grumbled a bit after that, but Sam had just soothed him with soft
kisses, and gentle touches until he stopped.
 
Sleep had been fitful for both of them, nightmares plaguing Dean more than
usual. He dreamed of all the things that could go wrong. What if something
happened and he couldn’t be there to protect his little brother?
 
He didn’t have enough time to think about it though because the time flew by,
and before he knew it Sam was telling their dad that they needed to talk.
 
-
 
“You’re just gonna leave your family?” John snapped at his son.
 
The two of them were sitting at the table in the younger men’s room while Dean
sat at the edge of his bed.
 
“I’m not leaving you guys, Dad,” Sam said, and it was clear that he was
struggling to stay calm. It seemed they could never just talk. They were always
arguing, always. Maybe it was better if Sam left, got a shot at a normal and
happy life. Even if that meant giving up what they had now.
 
“I just wanna be normal!” Dean wasn’t sure what he missed while he wasn’t
paying attention, but that was the next thing he heard, and it felt like he was
reading Dean’s mind.
 
His head snapped up, and he looked between his dad, and brother. Sammy deserved
that. He deserved a normal life, to be happy, to go to college, get a job, even
find some pretty girl. He didn’t deserve a life of hunting, his closest thing
to a relationship being a the secret one with his damned brother. And Dean
certainly didn’t think he deserved him.
 
“So how do a couple of hunters fit into this ‘normal life’ of yours, Sam?”
 
“I don’t know! You stop hunting for a few days and come visit me now and
then?!”
 
That officially started a yelling match, and Dean blocked it out. They would
scream at each other for a bit, then John would storm off to the bar, and Sam
would huff around for a bit before asking to screw around to blow off some
steam. That was how it always went. He didn’t need to hear all the in betweens.
 
But then Sam was throwing things into his bag, and storming around the room.
“Fine! Why should I wait!”
 
That caught Dean’s attention. “Sammy, stop!”
 
Sam looked at his brother, a flash of pain crossing his expression. “Dean, I
have to go.”
 
“No you don’t,” Dean said, voice soft and almost pleading. “You don’t have to
do this. Please don’t do this.”
 
“I do,” Sam said, picking up his hoodie and looking at it for a moment before
tossing it on the bed for Dean to keep. “I’m going to the bus station. There
probably won’t be one to catch tonight, so I’m planning to stay there.”
 
Dean immediately picked up on what Sam was saying. He didn’t want to leave
without a proper good-bye. He gave a little nod, looking resigned, and found
his AC/DC shirt to shove in his brother’s bag, biting the inside of his cheeks
to keep himself from crying.
 
Sam threw his bag over his shoulder, and looked at Dean one last time before
heading toward the door, not sparing a glance at his father.
 
“If you walk out that door,” John said angrily, “Don’t ever come back.”
 
Dean’s stomach twisted into knots at the words, and Sam stopped, his body
tensing. Then he was out the door a moment later, slamming it behind himself.
 
-
 
Dean waited. He listened to John yell and rant, ignoring the things he was
actually saying, and trying not to cry, or scream at him. This was all his
fault. He could have had his brother for another week, but their dad had to go
and…be himself.
 
Finally he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t know how long John had been
yelling, but it didn’t seem like he was letting up anytime soon, and Dean just
couldn’t listen anymore. Not when Sam was on his way to the bus station. He’d
thought eventually his dad would storm out of the room, but he just didn’t
stop, so finally Dean pushed himself up.
 
“I need to get out of here,” he mumbled. “I need to just…I need to go for a
drive.” His voice was calm, but his hand were shaking as he grabbed his keys,
and walked out (much to his surprise) with no protests from his father.
 
He immediately headed for the bus station, taking the route he figured Sam
would walk. He was a little more than halfway there when he spotted his brother
walking down the dark road. He pulled up next to him, and rolled down the
window. “Need a ride?”
 
Sam’s head snapped up, an he looked at Dean, giving him a small, sad smile as
he walked over, and opened the passenger door, slipping in.
 
“Thanks, Dean,” he said quietly, putting his bag on the floorboard at his feet.
 
“‘Course, Sammy,” Dean said, pulling away. “Sorry it took so long.”
 
Sam just waved a hand dismissively, telling Dean not to worry about it without
any words. After that they drove in silence. Dean wasn’t heading for the bus
station anymore, but Sam didn’t comment. He just stared out the window, Dean
glancing at him now and then.
 
After what felt like forever, but was probably more like twenty minutes, he
pulled off a dirt road. It seemed unlikely that anyone even used the road
during the day, let alone this late at night. It was the best they could get to
real privacy.
 
He cut the engine, and climbed out, sliding into the backseat without a word.
Sam followed behind him, and Dean held out his arms to pull his brother in
close.
 
“I’m sorry,” Sam mumbled, burying his face in the crook of Dean’s neck. “I
never…I didn’t mean to leave now. I just can’t do this anymore, Dean. I can’t
go back there.”
 
Dean held Sam close, kissing anything he could reach, his temple, his shoulder,
his hair, it didn’t matter. “It’s okay, Sammy. Shh…It’s okay.”
 
He knew his brother was right, he had to go. Dean just wished so badly that he
could go with him. But what would he do? Besides, that wasn’t the way to give
him his normal life. No, they needed to be away from each other for awhile.
This was their last night together.
 
Dean pulled back just a little bit so that he could press his lips to Sam’s. “I
love you, Sammy.”
 
“I love too, Dean,” Sam whispered kissing him back softly.
 
For a while that was all they did. Just soft, slow kisses, hands moving slowly
along each other. After awhile it got a little more passionate, breath coming
heaviers, hands pushing under each other’s shirts, bodies trying to press
closer together.
 
Dean broke the kiss to pull of his shirt, and toss it in the front seat. Then
he was pushing Sam’s shirt up, tugging it over his head. His lips immediately
attached to his brother’s collarbone, sucking and licking at it, leaving little
marks on his skin. he wanted Sam to be his for awhile longer.
 
“I love you,” he whispered again, lips moving down further to suck at his
nipple.
 
Sam moaned, arching his back in an attempt to press up against Dean’s mouth. “I
l-love you too,” he panted back. “Dean, please…”
 
Dean’s eyes flicked up to his brother’s face. “Please what, little brother?
What do you want?”
 
“You,” Sam moaned, staring at Dean with eyes full of lust, and need. “Please,
Dean. I want you. I want my first time to be with you.”
 
Dean bit his lip. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Their first time
wasn’t supposed to be in the back of the Impala, out of desperation, and need
to be together like this at least once. Their first time wasn’t supposed to be
their last time.
 
“Okay,” he whispered. He just needed to feel Sam, just this once, so if his
brother wanted it then he was certainly willing to give it to him.
 
There was a bit of awkward fumbling to get their pants pants and boxers off,
and then Dean was leaning across the front seat to find the lube he kept in the
glovebox since he first started fingering Sam.
 
Dean dropped the bottle on the seat, and leaned in to kiss Sam soft and slow.
“Let me know if it hurts, okay? Gonna make this perfect, Sammy.”
 
Sam just nodded a bit breathless. “O-okay,” he panted, “Dean please…”
 
The older Winchester forced himself to pull away just a little bit, grabbing
the lube, and pouring some on his fingers. “Spread your legs, Sammy.”
 
His brother didn’t even hesitated, spreading his legs, and arching his hips off
the seat. Dean slid his hand down, and rubbed his fingers gently over Sam’s
hole before pushing one in, pulling a moan from his lips.
 
“God, you’re so tight,” Dean breathed approvingly, as if this was his first
time noticing. “You’re gonna feel so good, Sammy.”
 
He quickly started working his finger in and out of Sam, twisting and curling
it now and then. It wasn’t long before he was pushing down on Dean’s finger,
begging for more. There was barely even a pause before a second finger slipped
inside to scissor him open.
 
“Oh god, Dean,” Sam moaned, screwing his eyes shut, and biting his lower lip.
“Fuck that feels good…”
 
Encouraged, Dean thrust his fingers harder, and faster. A couple minutes, and
he was pushing a third finger in, kissing, and sucking at his brother’s skin.
His cock was aching, but he ignored it, taking his time, even as Sam begged for
more, for Dean to just fuck him already.
 
What felt like hours later he finally pulled his fingers out, and grabbed the
lube, slicking his cock up thoroughly. Sam eagerly lifted his hips again, and
wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist, staring up at him with wide eyes.
 
“I can’t believe this is finally happening,” he breathed.
 
“I know,” Dean whispered, cock nudging gently at Sam’s hole before he started
pushing in slowly.
 
Sam whimpered softly, and Dean leaned in to press a tender kiss to his lips.
“Sh…It’s okay, Sammy. Gonna take it nice n’ slow.”
 
Sam leaned up into the kiss and gave a little nod, whispering, “O-okay.”
 
Dean slowly pushed in the rest of the way, and wrapped his arms around Sam’s
torso, just laying like that for awhile. It wasn’t until Sam whispered, “Move.
Please move,” that he slowly pulled out, and just pushed back in.
 
He kept the slow pace, kissing Sam as they held each other tightly, hearts
pounding a little harder than usual, breath coming heavy, breathy versions of
their names leaving each other’s lips. And Dean decided that he couldn’t regret
this. No, it wasn’t even close to how he wanted their first time to be, but
somehow it was still perfect, and it was a first for Dean too. He’d fucked, oh
he’d fucked plenty, but he’d never made love. And this? This was without a
doubt making love.
 
It lasted longer than he was used to, a fact that he was incredibly thankful
for. When he finally did come it wasn’t hard, and rough like he was used to,
but deep, and with a moan of, “Sammy,” and a hand wrapped around his brother’s
cock, stroking him to completion. The way Sam moaned his name as he spilled
over his fist was absolutely incredible.
 
When they’d both come they laid in each other’s arms, panting softly, and
pecking each other’s lips.
 
“I love you,” Dean whispered. “I love you so much. I don’t want you to go.”
 
“I know, Dean,” Sam whispered, stroking his brother’s back. “I love you too,
but I have to go.”
 
“I know,” Dean all but whimpered, tears forming in his eyes. he didn’t know
what he was supposed to do without Sam. He barely knew who he was without him.
“You’ll…promise you’ll call.”
 
“Of course I’ll call, Dean,” Sam said quietly. “I’m gonna miss you, jerk.”
 
Dean smiled a little at that. “You too, bitch.”
 
They didn’t talk anymore after that. Dean pulled out, and shifted so Sam was on
top, between his legs, head rested against his chest. He held him tightly, just
listening to him breath until he fell asleep.
 
The next morning was quiet. Sam and Dean dressed in silence, and then they
drove to the bus stop. Sam bought his ticket, mumbling that it would be about
an hour, and the two held each other in the Impala while they waited.
 
Fifty minutes later Dean hugged and kissed his brother before watching him get
on the bus. That was the moment that his whole world crumbled.
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Notes
     This chapter's late 'cause of moving, but it's here!
It took hours of pacing, grabbing keys in determination, and then tossing them
down on the table a dozen times. It took days of contemplation, driving in the
direction of California, and then finding a motel, and trying to get a hold of
John for the rest of the day, and night, but finally he’d made up his mind. He
was in the car, heading to Stanford to find his brother after two years of no
contact whatsoever.
 
It wasn’t like they hadn’t tried to keep in contact. They really did, and for
the first few months it was alright. They’d talked every night when Dean was
alone. Sometimes it’d even turned into phone sex (something Dean had actually
never been able to get into before), but things just got in the way. Sam was
busy, and the nights he could call Dean was exhausted from hunts. Then his
phone was destroyed in a particularly bad encounter with a ghost, and he lost
his little brother’s number. He’d tried to contact him, but it was hard. By the
time he tracked him down (maybe with the help of a little stalking) there was a
girl. A pretty blonde. And Sam looked at her the way he used to look at Dean,
he couldn’t ruin that.
 
So Sam had finally gotten what he’d wanted. He’d gotten his normal life with no
hunting, no Dean, and he was happy. Now Dean was about to crash into his life,
and fuck it all up. God, he seriously hated himself sometimes.
 
It wasn’t like he wanted to do it though. He really didn’t. Sure, he missed the
hell out of his brother. That much was obvious to him in the way he slept
around like he before his thing with Sam had started, probably even a little
bit more. There’d only been two chicks who meant anything to him (Cassi, and
Lisa), but they hadn’t even begun to compare. So yeah, he missed Sam like hell.
He didn’t have his purpose anymore. He didn’t have his little brother to look
after. He’d still be doing what he could though. He’d left Sam alone so he
should be happy. This? Coming to get him? It hadn’t been an easy decision, but
it had to be done.
 
He walk through the apartment, evading his brother for a while before finally
walking into the room where he knew he was waiting. Suddenly Sam jumped at him,
and it was all kicks, punches, and blocks from there.
 
Then Sam was pinned underneath him, and a swarm of memories came back. Sam
panting, and squirming, moaning Dean’s name as he ground against him. The
practices where they’d fight, and one of them would pin the other just to peck
their lips.
 
He quickly pushed these thoughts away, and grinned down at his little brother.
“Whoa. Easy, tiger.”
***** Chapter 12 *****
It was awkward seeing Sam with his girlfriend, but Dean hid it, pushed all his
emotions down, and made jokes about the Smurfs and Jessica being out of Sam’s
league. That was total bullshit of course. Sam looked as good as ever with his
stupid hair, and his ridiculous height. All Dean wanted was to pull him into a
tight hug, and kiss him senseless. It was thanks to no more than amazing self
control (probably the self control acquired when they were hiding their thing
from Dad) that he didn’t do just that.
 
The same self control kept him from pulling off to the side of the road as they
headed toward the town their dad had been investigating last. The silence
between them was painfully awkward, so he kept the music loud, hoping to drown
out the tension along with his own thoughts.
 
_
 
Once they finally started getting into the swing of things it got a bit less
awkward between them. The more normal it felt though the harder it got not to
think about what they used to have. They were busy though, and that certainly
helped. Worry about Dad, he kept telling himself, just worry about Dad, and
don’t think about how much you miss Sammy.
 
It wasn’t until they got back to the hotel after the damn Woman in White ran
him off the bridge that it got to be too much to deal with. Sam was trying to
apologize about the things he said about Mom, to talk feelings, and he just
could not deal with that.
 
He held up a hand, looked at Sam seriously, and said, “No chick flick moments.”
 
When Sam looked at him incredulously, and just came back with, “Whatever…jerk,”
he felt a warmth spread through him like nothing had in awhile.
 
“Bitch,” he retorted, and headed into the bathroom to wash himself and his
clothes.
 
Somehow in the mix of all that he ended up jerking off in the shower. And if it
was ‘Sammy’ he clamped his hand over his mouth to keep from moaning when he
came, well…no one had to know that.
 
_
 
It was finally over. They sorted out the bitch, and were headed out of town,
Sam looking up the coordinates their dad had left while Dean drove. He had no
particular destination just yet, maybe a diner since they hadn’t eaten for a
while. He’d just decided to pull off at the closest one when he realized Sam
wasn’t planning on going with him.
 
Of course he wasn’t. Why would he want to go with him when he had someone at
home waiting for him, when he had his normal, safe life with his pretty
girlfriend and his law school interview? Who in their right mind would choose
annoying, boring, dangerous Dean who was in love with his little brother over
that?
 
“Dean,” Sam tried, and he knew then that he hadn’t been able to keep the
disappointment out of his voice.
 
Dean just held up his hand. “Don’t. I get it.”
 
After that they fell into another awkward silence. Sam glanced over now and
then like he wanted to say something, but Dean just shot him a look every time,
effectively keeping him quiet.
 
When he finally dropped Sam off he was ready to just drive to Colorado, to turn
the music up loud, and only break for food, and gas. He was about to do just
that he noticed the static in the stereo, telling him something was off.
 
He made a quick u-turn, and parked near Sam’s apartment, not caring how shitty
the parking job was. He didn’t even lock up as he ran back to his brother’s
apartment, and burst in. For the second time in their lives he found himself
pulling Sam out of the flame, away from his normal life.
***** Chapter 13 *****
Chapter Notes
     Wow, sorry I'm late. I've been busy n' kinda spaced that it was
     Wednesday, and then couldn't get online, but here's another pretty
     sad chapter~
he car ride was quiet, they drove for miles in silence. This time it was Dean
glancing over now and then, but Sam didn’t say anything. He just pressed his
forehead to the window, staring out of it. And fuck, Dean ached. He ached to
pull Sam into his arms, to hold him, and promise everything was okay like he
used to after his little brother had nightmares. But this wasn’t just another
nightmare. Sam’s girlfriend-the one he’d so obviously loved-was dead. And there
wasn’t a damned thing Dean could do about it.
 
-
 
After a while Dean pulled off the highway, and only then did Sam lift his head
from the window and looked at Dean.
 
“What are you doing?”
 
His voice was void of emotion, and that only made it worse. The pain would have
been easier for Dean to deal with.
 
“Looking for a motel.”
 
“I thought you wanted to make it by morning.”
 
Dean frowned, and glanced at Sam. “Yeah, well…Change of plans. I’m exhausted,
and need to sleep on a bed.”
 
Sam looked at Dean skeptically, but then nodded, and leaned his head against
the window again, staying just like that until they pulled up to the motel. He
waited in the car while Dean checked them in, getting two beds even though he
would have preferred one, and then followed him in, helping carry their bags.
 
The younger Winchester stripped down to his boxers almost mechanically, not
even acknowledging the way Dean stared at him, clearly concerned as he followed
suit, and turned the lights off before they both climbed into their respective
beds.
 
Dean wasn’t sure how long he stared at the back of Sam’s head. It felt like
hours, but he knew his little brother wasn’t sleeping. He’d long ago memorized
the way his brother’s body rose and fell with sleep.
 
After a long time Sam suddenly got up from his bed, and walked over to Dean’s.
He climbed into the bed as his older brother stared at him, and Dean wrapped
his arms around him, pulling him in close without a word.
 
Sam cried against his chest and Dean just rubbed his back, and kissed the top
of his head. When Sam started mumbling about this being his fault, and never
getting to see Jess again, and apologies to Dean, his brother just gently
shushed him, and held him tighter.
 
Eventually Sam fell asleep, and Dean laid there, holding him close. He wished
he could enjoy being able to have Sam in his arms again, but it just hurt
because he knew it didn’t take his brother’s pain away. It couldn’t. Not after
something like this.
 
It took a long while for him to fall asleep, and when he did it was restless.
Sam woke up crying again because of his nightmares, and Dean gently pet, and
hushed him until he fell asleep again.
 
When Dean woke up in the morning he was alone, and Sam was showered and
dressed. The night before wasn’t acknowledged. In fact Sam acted like he was
just fine, and Dean felt more helpless than ever before.
***** Chapter 14 *****
Suits, and planes. That had simultaneously been the best, and worst case that
they had ever had. The suits were awful. Really, truly awful, or Dean’s had
been at least. Sure, he’d been one that suggested Homeland Security in the
first place, but Sam had been right. He looked like a seventh grader at his
first dance. And what was worse was that Sam… he looked down right hot, and it
was seriously unfair. He was supposed to be the older, better looking brother,
and he was also starting to lose count of how many times he’d jerked off
thinking about his little brother since they’d started hunting together again.
Then there was all that plane bullshit. He was never getting on a plane. Damn
Sammy for being important enough that Dean wouldn’t let him go on it himself.
To be fair though, he did make it up to him. Dean had been sitting in his seat,
legs bouncing anxiously when he’d felt a hand slid into his. Looking down
briefly he’d laced his fingers with Sam’s, and stared straight ahead, trying to
think of nothing but the thumb gently rubbing over the back of his hand. They’d
even stayed that way for almost ten minutes before Sam questioned him humming
Metallica. When it was all said and done, Sam had taken him to get pie. So
yeah, it was the best and worst case ever.
_
Dean was still trying to let Sam have something resembling a normal life. He
really was, so when they had a case that involve a really cute pastor’s
daughter he pushed Sam toward her. It would be a lie to say that he felt no
jealousy, especially after finding out that they’d kissed, but in the end Sam
didn’t even want to stay a little while.
The jealous wasn’t even about Sam liking the girl though. Not really. It’d
never really been just them, but it had always been them, and now there was no
them. Sammy had gotten past his weird crush on his big brother. He’d moved
beyond awkward, incestuous relationships, and he’d left Dean behind.
-
It was after a really weird case about bugs when Dean first made a comment that
was absolutely not brotherly. They’d gone to an open house, and the first time
someone assumed they were together Dean had quickly corrected them. The second
time though he just couldn’t help having a bit of fun. He’d said something
about going to talk to Larry and patted Sam’s ass before walking away.
After that he just couldn’t get the though of that ass out of his head. God, he
missed touching it, fingers it, eating it… They were in the Impala, heading
back to the motel when Dean made a comment on it.
"You know you’ve still got a really nice ass, Sammy," he said, glancing over at
his little brother. “Can’t stop thinkin’ about it. I’m definitely gonna need
the first shower when we get back."
The blush on Sam’s face was well worth it, and he did get the first shower when
they got back, where he once again jerked off thinking about Sam.
***** Chapter 15 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Dean was a bit of a wreck. He wouldn’t act like it, but on the inside he was a
torrent of chaos. Sam and himself had gone back to the house their mom died in,
and had seen her. And still his dad wasn’t answering their calls. What was
worse then all of that combined was that Dean had very nearly lost his little
brother.
While they were trying to purify the house (whatever Missouri had called it) a
corn had been wrapped around Sam’s neck, strangling him, and Dean had stopped
it just in time to have Sam collapse against him, unconscious, but alive.
He’d held him tightly for awhile, shaking him, and murmuring, “Sammy, wake up.
Please wake up, come on! Come on, I need you.”
When Sam finally woke he’d let Dean hold him awhile longer, and press kisses
into his hair as he calmed down.
So yeah, Dean had an extremely traumatic night, and he was as wreck, but Sam
was alive, so he only showed by taking care of his brother a little extra, and
sleeping like shit for a few nights.
-
Dean tried not to show that he was upset, but their last case really gotten to
him. He knew that it wasn’t Sam’s fault, and that the younger Winchester felt
bad, so he didn’t want to show he was upset, but it couldn’t change the fact
that Sam had tried to kill him, because of a ghost or not.
They’d gone to this fucking asylum, and there’d been some nut job doctor who
tried all these experiments on his patients that had only made them angrier,
and he’d managed to make Sam go crazy for a little while.
When they left the asylum Sam asked if they needed to talking about, but Dean
said no because was he even supposed to say on the subject anyway?
So it was dropped. They didn’t talk about it again, but that night when they
got back to the motel, and went to bed Sam climbed in with his brother.
“What are you doin’, Sammy,” Dean asked quietly, not upset, or in anyway trying
to make him stop. Just a simple question.
“I’m sorry,” Sam whispered, moving in close, and hesitating a moment before
wrapping his arms around Dean.
“Dude…” Dean pulled Sam in closer, shaking his head. “You’ve got nothing to
apologize for. You didn’t do shit wrong. It wasn’t your fault.”
“But you’re upset,” Sam mumbled, “And it upset me too.”
“Sammy,” Dean sighed, holding him more tightly. “It’s okay. I know it wasn’t
you. Not really.”
“No, don’t comfort me,” Sam huffed, pulling back just enough to look into
Dean’s eyes. “Don’t try to be all big and strong. Just this one time. Please…”
Dean groaned. “Sammy…”
“No, just let me take care of you, Dean,” Sam begged.
There was a moment’s hesitation, and then Dean sighed, forcing himself to let
his guard down. “Okay, it was scary,” he said, “I wasn’t sure what was going
for a second. I didn’t know what to do. I just hoped it wasn’t really you.”
“Of course it wasn’t,” Sam whispered, looking Dean in the eye, and brushing his
fingers through the man’s short hair. “You’re my big brother. You’re all I’ve
got. I love you, okay?”
At those words Dean’s chest tightened and a warmth spread through him at the
same time. He buried his face in Sam’s neck, eyes squeezed tightly shut, arms
tightening around him. “I know,” he whispered. “I know. God, I love you too,
Sammy.”
Sam just held Dean close, hand stroking down his back slowly as he pressed soft
kisses to his temple. Dean shook, and clung to his brother. After awhile he
drifted off, still held tightly by the younger Winchester.
In the middle of the night he woke up to Sam moving out of his bed.
“Sammy? What’re you doin’,” he asked sleepily, reaching out to touch Sam’s arm.
“Shh. It’s okay. Just go back to sleep, Dean,” Sam whispered, and Dean
reluctantly dropped his arm before watching Sam move back to his own bed. He
stared at him for a long while before falling asleep again, the bed suddenly
cold.
Chapter End Notes
     I'm working on the Calthazar big bang, so I'm gonna be on hiatus for
     awhile, unfortunately. I'll add more when I get a chance!
***** Chapter 16 *****
Chapter Notes
     Sorry about the hiatus! I should be back now though. I can't
     guarantee how frequent updates will be, but I'll try to make them as
     frequent as possible~ Thanks to those who stuck with me.
                                  Chapter 16
 
Dean was woken up early in morning by the sound of Sam talking into his cell
phone. His first thought was that his brother had left his bed in the middle of
the night, apparently unwilling to sleep with him for more than a few hours, if
he even slept at all. His mourning, however, was interrupted as he started
processing the words.
            “Is that Dad?” He sat up and started pulling his shirt on, trying
to get Sam to tell him something as the younger Winchester argued with his
father. After a few moments he grabbed the phone in annoyance. “Dad what’s
going on?”
            “Dean, I need you to take down a list of names.” No hello, no how
are things, nothing. Just an order. That was one thing Dean knew well and he
took it without hesitation, quickly finding a pen and something to write on. He
wanted to question this, all of this. He wanted to know what the hell was going
on, what they’re dad wasn’t telling them, but he was a good son, so he just did
as he was told, got ready, and got into the Impala.
 
-
 
            “So this is just a hunt? We’re just supposed to go save some
people? What about the demon?” Sam had been bitching since the moment they got 
in the car and Dean was pretty much ignoring it. He couldn’t quite wrap his
head around what Sam’s problem was. Obviously there dad knew something they
didn’t  know, or they would be there with him now.
            There were moments of quiet when Sam was calm, but then they’d
start bickering again, saying the same things every time. Finally it got bad
and the next thing Dean knew he was driving off by himself, watching his
brother disappear in the rearview mirror.
            He didn’t want to leave. The last thing he wanted to do was leave
his little brother, but what the hell  was he supposed to do? He couldn’t take
him to California. He had his orders and he had to follow them or more people
were going to die.
            It was hardly a few hours before he started missing Sam. Just
trying to sleep in the motel without Sam there with him was hell. He tossed and
turned all night, worrying about his brother, wanting to know if he was okay.
How could he just leave him there in the middle of the night? Sam was a big boy
though. He could take care of himself, so Dean let it go and eventually fell
asleep, though he naturally dreamed of the younger Winchester.
 
-
 
            Eventually he had to call Sam to check up on him. He couldn’t  deal
with knowing whether or not his brother was safe, so he hopped into the Impala
and dialed Sam’s number as he started driving.
            “Hello?” Sam’s voice was a bit tired, but Dean felt his heart kick
up a bit as he relaxed.
            “Sammy,” he breathed, fingers loosening on the steering wheel.
            “Dean,” Sam breathed back and it sounded the way it used to, back
when they were teenagers and everything was so much more simple. Damn, he
missed those days.
            “Good to know you’re alive,” Dean said with a little chuckle.
            “Dean…”
            “Yeah, yeah. Listen, I found out what I’m hunting…”
 
-
 
            It was shitty, telling Sam that he should go his own way, that he
should do his own thing. That was the last thing he wanted. He needed his
brother there with him. He’d meant it when he said he couldn’t cope without the
younger man. He couldn’t keep him there forever though. He’d just push him
further and further away like that, so he had to let him go, no matter how much
it hurt.
 
-
 
            Just a couple hours later Dean was having second thoughts about
letting Sam go. His phone was gone and he locked in a bomb shelter. This town
was full of a bunch of psychopaths. Apparently they were all in on this and
saving that couple back there meant that he was about to be a sacrifice. Great.
Fucking Pagan gods…
 
-
 
            The thing was, before Sam came back into the picture, Dean used to
be a damn good hunter. Sure, sometimes he’d go hunting with their dad and it’d
be a lie to say that those weren’t his favorite times, but it would also be a
lie to say he didn’t do just fine on his own. Maybe he was out of practice, or
maybe he just wasn’t as good as he’d thought he was. All he knew was that
without Sammy there he was screwed. The girl tied to the tree next to him was
screwed.
            He was doing his best not to make it obvious that he’d given up
hope because really? What chance did they have here? The girl deserved hope
though. He didn’t want her to spend all this time terrified and knowing she was
going to die right before he happened.
            It was coming. He knew it was coming and they had no way to get out
of here because Sam was going to California in search for their dad and that
god damn thing that killed Mom.
            Suddenly though, it wasn’t over. Because suddenly, out of nowhere,
Sammy was back.
 
-
 
            There wasn’t a lot of time to talk what with helping the victim get
out of town and all, but when they finally did Dean was terrified. He was sure
that Sam was going to leave him again. But then he went off on one of his girly
speeches that Dean always pretended didn’t get to him.
            When the younger brother was done Dean looked at him, hoping the
utter love and devotion on his face was obvious. “Hold me, Sam,” he said
seriously, “That was beautiful.”
            The laugh it got out of Sam was totally worth it. 
***** Chapter 17 *****
Chapter Summary
     Based around Faith and Route 666
It was insane. One minute Dean was going after this evil monster that had
kidnapped two kid, the next he was waking up in a hospital. He felt like shit,
as the understatement of the century. His whole body ached, he was exhausted,
and the doctors were telling him there wasn’t much they could do.
            Apparently he’d accidentally electrocuted himself. The good news
was he’d kill that evil son of a bitch. The bad news was that now Sam seemed
dead set on saving him. Like that would happen.
 
-
 
            A couple hours after Sam left Dean decided that he couldn’t take it
here. The food sucked, the channels they had sucked, and worst of, his little
brother wasn’t there. If he was about to die he’d be damned if he was gonna do
it in some hospital without Sammy.
            So he checked himself out and headed back to the motel to die in
peace.
            Apparently though, Sam had other ideas. Some type of specialist. He
wasn’t really buying it, but whatever helped his brother stay calm, right?
            The good news was that now everything was calm and they could both
go to sleep.
            Sam helped him into bed and got his jeans off, deciding to leave
the hoodie he was wearing on. It was something they both wore as a bit of
comfort when they were sick. Once he was in just the hoodie and his boxers he
watched Sam strip down to his boxers and shirt, hoping the longing wasn’t too
obvious on his face. If he was going to die the best thing he could ask for was
to have his little brother one more time.
            He kept that to himself though and looked away, caught off guard
when the bed dipped and he felt Sam’s warm body pressed against his back,
strong arms carefully wrapping around his waist.
            “Sammy?” His voice was quiet, hardly more than a whisper.
            “Get some sleep, Dean,” Sam whispered back and pressed a kiss to
the back of Dean’s neck, causing him to sigh in pleasure.
            It didn’t take long after that. A few minutes and he was out. The
best part? When he woke up in the morning Sam was still right there.
 
-
 
            “So you called Dad?” Dean asked from the passenger seat. They were
on their way to this specialist and Sam had told him awhile ago. He’d been
letting the idea stew in his head for awhile before he finally asked.
            Sam glanced over. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Of course.”
            “And he didn’t bother to call back?” Dean’s brow was raised and he
was trying to act tough, but damn that hurt. He couldn’t even call back or pick
up the damn phone when his son was dying? Dean vaguely wondered if he would’ve
answered if it was Sam hurt instead of him.    
            “He’s probably been too busy to even listen to the voice mail,” Sam
suggested, but it seemed a bit of a stretch.
            Dean rested his head against the window and pretended to sleep.
 
-
 
            Sam was being a bit clingy. He was trying to take care of his
brother beyond need. Every time they had to stop to take a piss the younger
Winchester would be trying to practically carry his brother. That stopped after
Dean asked Sam if he wanted to hold it for him and he got all flustered.
            It was weird though. Not bad, but weird. He just wasn’t used to
this kind of attention from Sam. He wouldn’t complain though. Not until they
got to the “specialist” which turned out to be a god damn “faith healer”. Fuck
Sam.
 
-
 
            So it worked. It was fucking crazy, but it worked. He knew right
away. They were headed to the hospital to check with the doctors, but he
already knew because hell, he  felt great. He was the one driving there, he
wasn’t as exhausted as usual, and he felt awesome. The only trouble was: he
couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something off about this.
 
-
 
            Of course he was right because really? When did good things ever
happen in Dean Winchester’s life without there being some kind of price tag?
The price here? Another man’s life.
            He was pissed. No, he was livid. And he knew it wasn’t really Sam’s
fault. How could the guy know? It wasn’t like Dean wouldn’t have done the same
thing for him. Hell, even if he did know the price he would do it for his
little brother. Maybe it was wrong, but he needed Sammy. So yeah, he couldn’t
blame Sam, but the younger man was an easy target for his anger.
            The worst part was how he just sat there and took. He just bowed
his head and listened to Dean yell at him, chewing on his lower lip. He didn’t
look back up until a couple minutes after his brother had stopped.
            “I couldn’t live without you,” he whispered.
            That made Dean paused. He was sitting in a chair near the door now
and he’d been staring off into space. At the words though he froze and turned
his head, looking back at Sam. There were tears in the man’s eyes and suddenly
Dean was filled with guilt.
            He stood up and walked over to stand in front of Sam. Tipping his
brother’s chin up he stared down into his hazel eyes.
            “I would’ve done the same thing,” he whispered and leaned down to
kiss Sam’s forehead, wiping a tear from the man’s cheek. “It’s okay, little
brother. I’m here.”
 
-
 
            In the end they were able to stop it. Right before a woman Dean had
gotten to know (Layla) was saved. It sucked. She deserved to be saved. She was
sweet and kind and yeah, she deserved it, but he couldn’t let someone die in
her place. He just couldn’t (partly because Sam wouldn’t let him). He buried
that guilt though, along with all his other guilt, and let it go.
 
-
 
            Dean was filling up the tank while Sam hit the head and bought them
some snacks. He leaned against his baby, looking around as he waited. A phone
rang in the Impala and he leaned in, grabbing his cell from the middle of the
seat. At the name on the screen his heart stopped.
            Cassie. It’d been so long since he heard from her. Sam had been
away at college. She was the first girl he was ever serious about, the only
other person besides his little brother. He was pretty sure he’d gotten over
her, so why the hell was she calling now?
            “Hello?”
            “Dean.” Okay, maybe he was wrong about getting  over her because
damn, the sound of that voice? It still made his heart rate kick up (not that
he’d admit that in a million years).
            “Cassie,” he answered, trying to keep his voice calm, “It’s been
awhile.”
            “Yeah…” He could hear the nervousness in her voice and it only made
him more nervous.
            “What can I do for you?”
            “Were you telling the truth? Before you left?”
            The truth, of course, being that he hunted monsters. Why the hell
he’d told her that he didn’t even know anymore. It had been a mistake,
obviously. It had been the whole reason they broke up.
            “Yeah, I was telling the truth.”
            “I need your help,” she said quietly and he was already pulling the
nozzle from the pump.
            “Text me the address. I’ll be there in a few days,” he said and
hung up just as Sam came over.
 
-
 
            “So you had a girlfriend?” Sam grinned a little bit, “How come you
never told me?”
            “We weren’t exactly having coffee every Friday back then, Sam,”
Dean answered with a roll of his eyes.
            “Why haven’t you told me since?”
            “’Cause it doesn’t matter,” Dean huffed. He really did not want to
talk about his ex-girlfriend with his…ex-boyfriend slash brother. That was just
too much.
            “Like hell it doesn’t,” Sam insisted and Dean just turned up the
radio, refusing to have this conversation.
 
-
 
            It was intense, seeing Cassie again after all this time. Of course
it was nothing like when he’d seen Sam again after their time apart, but she
was the only one he’d ever been serious about besides his little brother. She
was the one who’d made him think, if only for a little while, that maybe he
could deal without Sam. Of course it’d been ridiculous. He shouldn’t have
gotten attached. Those things only hurt, but still. It was a mistake. That was
all.
 
-
 
            The questions seemed to be never ending, but Dean ignored Sam. He
answered a few things here and there, but other than that he didn’t really want
his brother to know. He didn’t want him to realize she was supposed to be a
replacement for him. Sam had had Jess, but this…this had been entirely
different. This wasn’t like that. He hadn’t moved on.
 
-
 
            One minute they were fighting. They were yelling at each other
about who’s fault it had been that they’d broken up. The next they were falling
into bed together, Dean was pulling off Cassie’s clothes and she was pulling
his off. Their hands were roaming all over each other’s bodies, trying to touch
wherever they possibly could.
            It’d been so long since he’d felt that skin beneath his hands,
since he’d heard that voice moan his name. She was the only one other than Sam
who had gotten the chance to learn what Dean liked, to have more than one time
with him, and damn she’d remembered.
            Finally she collapsed on top of him, panting against his neck as
his hands slid slowly over her back, caressing her skin. Damn, maybe he did
love her. Not as much as Sam, but he was pretty sure he did.
            She slowly moved from on top of him and curled up to her side, arm
draped over his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.
Maybe…maybe they could make this work. It wouldn’t be that hard, would it? They
both cared about each other, and now she knew. Yeah, they could make this work.
He would never have Sam, so why not give it a shot?
 
-
 
            “So, you gonna tell me what happened?” Sam asked from his chair at
the table.
            Dean rolled his eyes, laying back on his bed and staring up at
ceiling. “We screwed.”
            Sam laughed. “Classy.”
            The older brother grinned and gave a little shrug. “Fine. We were
fighting and then she kissed me. Next thing I knew we were moving toward her
bed, I was pushing her shirt up, hands moving over her body. I tugged it off
and tossed it on the floor, pushed her on the bed. Then my shirt was off and I
was kissing her neck, biting it. Not too hard, just enough to make her squirm.
You know, how I used to do to you?” He heard the sharp intake of his brother’s
breath and smirked. “Then she was on top of me and I was squeezing that perfect
ass. Only felt one ass better than that one, you know?”
            “Yeah?” Sam’s voice was breathy, “Who’s?”
            “My baby brother’s,” Dean answered, looking over at Sam to watch
him flush and duck his head. “So she was grinding down on me and-“ Just then
Dean’s phone rang and he growled in annoyance, standing up as he pulled it from
his pocket. “Cassie?”
            “Dean!” Cassie screamed, voice terrified, “Dean!”
            Two minutes later they were out the door and Dean was vaguely aware
of the slight bulge in Sam’s jeans.
 
-
 
            They wrapped it up. It was messy and complicated, but they wrapped
it up without losing Cassie or her mother. Then Dean got one more night with
the woman. Sam made it easy, dropping him off at her house and heading back to
the motel without so much as a question.
            After a few hours he lost track of how many times they’d gone at
it. They were both sweaty and worn, kissing at each other’s skin, hands running
over each other’s bodies.
            “We should get some sleep,” Cassie murmured against Dean’s
collarbone.
            Dean made a soft noise of protest. “Sooner we sleep the sooner I
have to leave.”
            “We can’t put it off forever, Dean.” Cassie’s voice was soft and a
bit sad as she kissed at Dean’s skin.
            “I’ll be back.”
            “You’ve said that.”
            “I mean it,” Dean insisted.
            “Okay, baby.”
            They both knew it wasn’t true.
 
-
 
            “When you meet someone like that, do you think it’s worth it?” Sam
asked as Dean settled in his seat, “Giving up what we do?”
            Dean looked over at his brother, eyes running over him. Giving up
hunting, that would be like giving up Sam, really. And if it came to his
brother or Cassie there was really no choice. He put his sunglasses on and
leaned against the window. “Wake me up when it’s my turn to drive.” 
***** Chapter 18 *****
Chapter Summary
     Based off of Nightmare and The Benders
            Sometimes when they were low on money the Winchesters had to get
one room. John considered them to be lucky if there were two beds and a couch
so the two teenage boys didn’t have to sleep together. Of course they never
minded sharing a bed while their dad took the other bed or the couch. It was
exciting. It was a game of seeing how much they could get away with while John
was in the room. Sam had blown Dean a couple times and Dean had eaten his
brother out. It was hot watching Sam squirm and try not to cry out in pleasure.
So damn hot.
            On the nights there were two beds they alternated. So when Dean and
Sam were on separate beds they slept on the sides closest to each other and
Dean kept his arm stretched out so Sam could grab his hand if he needed to for
whatever reason. It was a habit he’d picked up when he was about nine and…well,
old habits die hard.
            He was 26 now and it was still something he did sometimes. Like
this morning. He woke to Sam grabbing his wrist as he had so many nights in the
past, but this time it was different. This time his brother was saying they
needed to go. Because of yet another vision. Great.
 
            Sometimes they put on these outfits and it was damn difficult for
Dean to keep his hands off Sammy. Like now. His brother looked way too hot
dressed up like a priest and Dean’s thoughts were sinful on more than one
level.
            “We should keep these,” he said as they made their way back to the
motel, “Remember how we used to role play when we were younger?”
            Sam just flushed, no doubt remembering the time he’d dressed up
like a school girl. “Shut up,” he mumbled, but there was a small smile on his
lips.
 
            They were in the motel just talking about the case when suddenly
Sam was on the floor in pain. Dean was next to him in an instant, hands on his
shoulders, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
            Another vision. Shit, this was getting out of control. These
visions were starting to freak Dean out. Not that he would admit that to Sam.
No, instead he just took him where he needed to go, trying to save another
person.
 
            Sammy always got so upset when he couldn’t save someone even when
it just wasn’t possible. So when he was a bit unhappy Dean wasn’t surprised.
What he didn’t expect was for his brother to be so afraid that he might turn
into something like that kid Max. That was just ridiculous. Sure, Dean was
freaking out internally, but not over anything like that.
            “As long as I’m around, nothing bad’s gonna happen to you,” he’d
told him and he was determined to make it true.
 
            More time went by in which nothing eventful happened. They kept
searching for John with no luck. Dean kept longing for his brother. Sam kept
seeming oblivious. It sucked, to be honest, but Dean was just so happy to be
back with his brother, even if things weren’t exactly the way he wanted them to
be.
            They were finally on another case which at least helped to distract
him. Some guy had disappeared and the only witness-some kid-said he heard a
noise like a monster, a whining growl.
            There wasn’t much more to be done for the night, so they were
having a few beers when Sam suggested they head back to the motel to get some
sleep.
            “You really know how to have fun, don’t you grandma?” Dean teased
and Sam laughed, showing off those dimples, so Dean couldn’t refuse him.
“Alright. Let me hit the head. I’ll meet you outside.”
            He wasn’t in there long. Just long enough to take a piss, pay their
bill, and make it through the crowd. When he got outside though Sam wasn’t
there. He yelled the younger man’s name, he called his phone, he searched
around, he asked everyone he came across, but no one knew where he was. No one
had seen him and it wasn’t long before his phone started going to voicemail.
            That night he didn’t sleep. He didn’t eat. He did everything he was
capable of to find Sam. He even called their dad to ask for help. Of course he
didn’t answer.
            “Dad.” His voice was choked as he spoke into the phone. “Dad,
something took Sammy. He’s missing. I’ve tried everything, but I can’t find
him. I know he’s my responsibility and I…I’m not giving up, but I need your
help. Please, Dad. Call me back.”
            He hung up the phone and buried his face in his hands, sobbing
quietly. John never called back.
 
            He’d been pushing his luck. He knew he had been and he should’ve
expected something like this. He’d gotten a cop to take him along despite
impersonating another cop and his luck was bound to run out at some point. He’d
just hoped it would be after he’d saved Sam (from people, of all things).
            Now he was cuffed to a police car, panicking. Sammy was so close,
but so far, and he had no idea what to do. If only he carried fucking
paperclips on him.
            It took some serious stretching, but finally finally he got the
fucking cuffs off and made for the house. When he found Sam alive relief
flooded through him. They were okay. They would get out of this. And that was
what he kept telling himself no matter how scared he got.
 
            It felt like forever before they finally got out of there, before
they were finally headed back to the motel. But they were and Sam was alive. He
was safe. Halfway back Dean stopped and turned to Sam.
            “What’s up?” Sam asked, stopping a moment later.
            “I didn’t sleep last night, Sammy. I was so fuckin’ scared. If
you…I don’t know what I would’ve done if something happened to you…”
            Sam reached out and grabbed Dean’s arm. “Hey…Hey, I’m okay.”
            Dean looked up and Sam and without thinking about it he pulled him
in, kissing him deeply. It was different. It’d been so long and Sam was taller
than him now, differentfrom the last time, but it was still so undeniably Sam.
For a moment the younger brother froze, but then he cupped Dean’s cheek in his
hand, kissing him back gently.
            “I love you, Sammy,” Dean whispered, “I love you so much.”
            “I know,” Sam whispered back and kissed Dean again, “I know.”
 
 
***** Shadow *****
Chapter Notes
     Hey look! I wrote another chapter! Sorry for the lack of updates. I'm
     such crap at continuing to write things. I'll try to keep writing
     this though. I really liked writing this chapter, so hopefully
     that'll be incentive to continue writing.
     And please, leave feedback! Tell me your thoughts. Knowing I'm
     writing for somebody helps!
     Hope you enjoy~
     (Also, there was no beta. I really wanted to get this posted, so if
     there's mistakes, my apologies.)
Dean leaned against the bar, sipping his drink and chatting up the bartender.
She was damn good looking, curves in all the right places, pretty mouth,
perfect tits, a great distraction from Sammy. Not one that would last of
course, but maybe he could at least not think about his brother while she was
going down on him. He glanced over and saw Sam walk into the bar and quickly
downed his drink. “I gotta go,” he said regretfully, though he didn’t care all
that much now that Sam was there. He downed his drink, smirking when the
bartender slipped him her number. He winked and pushed the napkin into his
pocket before heading off to meet Sam at the back of the bar.
“I talked to the bartender,” he said, leaning back in his seat and watching Sam
leaf through their dad’s journal.
“Did you get anything?” Sam asked, looking up, “Besides her number?”
“Dude, I am a professional,” Dean said seriously, “I’m offended that you would
even think that.” Sam gave Dean a knowing look and the older Winchester
chuckled, showing off the napkin.
“Mind doing a little thinking with your upstairs brain, Dean?” Sam asked and
Dean wondered if maybe there was a hint of jealousy in his voice or if he was
just imagining it. Probably the latter.
“Huh?” Dean sighed. “Look, there’s nothing to find out. I mean Meredith worked
here, she waited tables, everyone was her friend. Everybody said she was
normal. She didn’t say or do anything weird before she died. So what about that
symbol? You find anything out?”
“Nope,” Sam said with a frown, “It wasn’t in Dad’s journal or any of the normal
books. Guess we gotta dig a little deeper.”
“Well there was the first victim, right? Before Meredith?”
Dean listened to his brother talk, basically saying there was nothing he’d
found either. “So to recap,” he said with a smirk, “The only successful thing
we’ve scored is the bartender’s number.”
Instead of responding Sam looked at something across the bar. “What?” Dean
asked, trying to find something out of the ordinary and his brother got up,
walking away. “Sam?”
Sam walked over to a blonde and Dean got up to follow behind him.
“-Not here now, but what about you,” he heard Sam saying, “I thought you were
goin’ to California?”
The girl went on talking and Sam responded. Dean was too busy checking her out,
trying to figure out who the hell she was, to know what she was saying. He
cleared his throat loudly, feeling uncomfortable, but Sam ignored him,
continuing with his conversation.
“You’re from Chicago?”
Dean frowned. It wasn’t like Sam to completely ignore him like that. Who the
hell was this chick? He cleared his throat more loudly and she shot him a dirty
look.
“Dude, cover your mouth,” she said and Sam finally acknowledged him.
“Yeah, sorry. Um...This, is, uh...This is Dean.”
“This is Dean?” she asked in surprise and Dean smile.
“You’ve heard of me?” So at least whoever this was, Sam had actually thought to
mention him.
“Oh yeah. I’ve heard of you,” the chick huffed, “Nice. The way you treat your
brother like luggage.”
Dean frowned in confusion. “Sorry?”
“Why don’t you let him do what he wants? Stop dragging him all over God’s
Earth.”
“Meg, it’s alright,” Sam interrupted and they all looked around awkwardly
before Dean whistled lowly.
“Okay, awkward. I’m gonna get a drink now.” He gave his brother a confused look
and walked away. What the hell was that kid telling this chick about him? Was
that how Sam really felt?
He went back to the bar, but when the bartender starting hitting on him again
he really wasn’t in the mood. He kept looking back at Sam and the bitch,
jealousy and nerves twisting in his stomach as he drank his beer. That stupid
smile Sam had was too close to the one he used to give Dean.
After a few minutes his brother came up to him and he finished off his beer
before walking out with Sam. “Who the hell was she?”
“I don’t really know. I only met up with her once,” Sam said, “The chances of
running into her again? Weird.”
“And what was she saying?” Dean asked, ignoring Sam’s words, “I treat you like
luggage? What, you bitchin’ about me to some chick?”
“Look, I’m sorry, Dean,” Sam said, “It was when we had that huge fight and I
was at the bus stop in Indiana, but it’s not important. Listen-”
“Well is there anything truth to what she’s sayin’?” Dean interrupted, “Am I
keeping you against your will, Sam?”
“Of course not. Now would you listen?”
“What?” Dean snapped.
“There’s something weird going on here.”
“I know. She wasn’t even that into me,” Dean said, trying to make light of the
way he was feeling.
“No, I mean our kind of weird. Maybe even a lead.”
“Why do you say that?” Dean asked, brow cocked.
There was a bit of bantering in which Dean teased his brother about liking this
Meg chick. It was easier to do that, to pretend he didn’t care, like he wanted
his brother to get some. Because if he didn’t? Well then he might accidentally
show how he really felt, and that was a road he couldn’t go down.
So he let Sam go to watch the girl and headed back to the motel to hop on his
brother’s computer and do some research. Research of all things. All the while
a part of him was hoping that Meg Masters wouldn’t check out, that she wouldn’t
be a real girl, and damn did that make him feel guilty. It was rare for Sam to
find someone he was actually into. Why couldn’t he just let his brother have
this one thing? When he found her on the internet there was a mixture of
relief, guilt, and jealousy once more. He sighed and dialed his brothers
number, calling to let him know.
“So hot little Meg is summoning the Daeva?” Again with the relief and guilt. He
shouldn’t be happy about this. He really, really shouldn’t, but...Well, now Sam
wouldn’t go off to be with this chick. Fuck, he was pathetic.
As the conversation went on Dean forgot about his jealousy, about his relief
and guilt. It sounded like this could be the thing that killed his Mom and if
that...Holy shit. This was crazy. This could be it.
“You grab everything that might be useful. I’ll call Dad,” Dean said and picked
his phone up. He didn’t expect their dad to answer, so when he had to leave a
voicemail it was no surprise. He left it quickly and then discussed what they
were taking with Sam.
“Big night,” he finally said.
“Yeah,” Sam agreed, “You nervous?”
“No,” Dean lied. “Why, are you?”
“No. No way.” Another lie. “God, could you imagine if we found that damn thing?
That demon?”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Dean said.
“I know,” Sam said, “I’m just saying….If we did. Man, I’d sleep for a month. Go
back to school. Be a person again.”
Dean stomach twisted. “You wanna go back to school?”
“Yeah, once we’re done hunting the thing,” Sam answered.
“Huh.”
“Why? There something wrong with that?”
“No, no. It’s, uh...great. Good for you.” Dean rubbed the back of his neck,
looking away.
“I mean, what are you gonna do when this is all over?”
“It’s never gonna be over, Sam,” Dean muttered, “There’s gonna be others.
There’s always gonna be something to hunt.”
“But there’s gotta be something you want for yourself-”
“Yeah, I don’t want you to leave the second this is over,” Dean snapped,
walking to the dresser, just for something to do, to not look at his brother.
“Dude, what’s your problem?”
Dean was quiet for a moment before he turned to look at Sam again. “You know
why I drag you with me everywhere? I mean, why do you think I came and got you
from Stanford in the first place?”
“‘Cause you needed help finding Dad,” Sam said, confused.
“Yes, that, but it’s more…” Dean looked away and back to Sam again. “You and me
and Dad...I want us...I want us to be together again. I wanna be a family
again.”
“Dean, we are a family,” Sam said softly, “I’d do anything for you. But things
are never gonna be like they were before.”
In that moment Dean felt as if his heart had shattered. There it was. There was
the confirmation. Sam didn’t want him anymore.
“Could be,” he said quietly.
“I don’t want them to be.” Dean’s chest tightened at the words. “I’m not gonna
live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you gotta let me go.”
Dean stared at his brother for a long time and bit his lip before turning away.
“Let’s go.”
***** Provenance *****
Well, there dad was alive, that was something. Dean tried not to think about
all it took to get him there. That he almost died, that Sammy got kidnap, that
his brother was having visions...All that and it was the damn demon that
finally brought him there. That was the first time Dean began to think that you
know what? His dad was an obsessed bastard.
Dean spent the next few days not thinking about what had happened between him
and Sam the other day. His brother didn’t want what they had before. No point
dwelling on it. If he started sleeping around to keep himself from thinking
about it...Well, that was his business.
He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t fun. Since Sam didn’t want one of the girls
he was able to get both of them. It’d been too long since he’d had a threesome.
So yeah, that actually worked to get his mind off Sam. The problem was
stumbling back to their room drunk though.
He fumbled with his keys for a long moment before finally getting the right one
and unlocking the door. His eyes searched around the room until they landed on
Sam who was sitting at the computer in just his jeans.
“Fuckin’ tease,” he muttered.
Sam looked up. “Oh hey. What?”
“Oh, just...fuckin’ keys,” Dean answered and slipped out of his jacket, letting
it fall on the floor. He walked over and placed his hands on Sam’s shoulders,
leaning in to whisper in the younger Winchester’s ear. “Look at you though,
little brother, all grown up.”
He caught Sam’s little shiver and smirked to himself. Yeah, he still knew
Sammy, even if it’d been a few years. There were some things that never changed
and things he would definitely never forget.
“All that muscle,” he whispered, “Never stopped training, did ya?”
Sam licked his lips and shook his head, eyes trained on the computer.
“Did you good, Sammy,” Dean murmured, lips brushing over his brother’s ear and
the younger man’s head fell back a little so Dean could watch his eyes slip
closed.
His arms wrapped around Sam, hands resting on his chest. God, he wanted to
touch him everywhere, to memorize this new body his brother had grown into so
nicely. He wanted to see if Sam still had sensitive nipples, if he’d still moan
out Dean’s name with his brother tongue in his ass. He shuddered at the
thoughts, combining memories with fantasies.
“Dean.” The word was breathy and when Dean looked back to Sam’s face his
brother’s eyes were opened. “Dean, I’m gonna...I’m gonna go get some air. You
should go to sleep. Long day tomorrow and you’re gonna be hung over for part of
it.”
Sam got up before his brother could protest, pulling his shirt over his head
and Dean fell back onto his own bed, groaning in frustration. He didn’t bother
undressing, just pulled his dick out and jerked off quickly before tucking
himself away and falling asleep fully dressed.
The next morning Sam woke Dean up far too early, acting far too casual, and
Dean was far too hungover to deal with this shit, so he let Sam drive, put on
his sunglasses and passed out in the passenger seat.
After a few hours his jackass brother woke him up by honking his horn, but
after explaining that he’d found nothing he at least grabbed him a bottle of
water and some hangover food from the back seat, so Dean guessed that kind of
made up for it.
A few hours later Dean was feeling a bit better and they made their way into an
auction house where the dead people’s shit was being sold already. It was
pretty disgusting if you asked Dean, not to mention stupid. They were passing
on something that killed them more than likely. Some people were so blind.
While they were there he watched Sam flirt with an incredibly hot chick, some
Sarah Blake, and felt a mixture of jealousy and arousal. If they got it on Dean
was pretty sure he’d jerk off thinking about it, but wish he was part of it
more than anything. Oh, that’d be fun…
Dean wasn’t a fan of convincing Sam to go on a date with Sarah. He really
didn’t like it, but they needed information and...well, Sam needed this. There
hadn’t really been anyone since Jessica and he deserved it.
He sighed softly and threw himself back on his bed after Sam had walked out for
go pick the woman up. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. Might as well
do something to distract himself while his brother was out.
Dean was up late, waiting for Sam to come up, but he ended up passing out with
his clothes on. He was amazed he’d been able to. His stomach was in knots. Sam
was screwing the girl. He just knew it. He was pounding her into the mattress
or she was riding his cock like a pro. And fuck, Dean hated the mixture of
arousal and jealousy in there. All of his dreams were about Sam.
So part of this was about Jessica, but not the main part. What the hell did
that mean? Did it apply to him? Did Sammy just not wanna sleep with other girls
because of this main part, or him too? He’d meant to try to talk to his brother
more about it, to figure out what the hell was going on, but before he got the
chance there was the call about the painting, Sarah saying it’d already been
sold and after going there they had to head back to the motel before the cops
got there. Then research, research, research.
It was hell the next day, driving around with Sam and Sarah everywhere,
listening to them flirt, watching the way Sam looked at her. If his brother
would give him the same attention, honest to God there wouldn’t have been this
jealousy. He could handle sharing Sam, but watching someone else have him when
he couldn’t? That wasn’t so easy.
Not that he held a grudge against Sarah or anything. She was a great girl. She
was strong, independent, intelligent, drop dead gorgeous. What wasn’t there to
like? Especially from the perspective of someone like Sam. He just wished Sam
would look at him that way, flirt with him the same, be the way he used to.
Dean headed back to the Impala, climbing in the driver’s seat and watching Sam
and Sarah in the sideview mirror. They were talking, looking like they wanted
to kiss, but not acting on it. Just do it, Sammy, Dean thought, because that
would make his brother happy, and anything that did was worth it. He bit his
lower lip and watched as Sam finally leaned in, kissing her.
“That’s my boy,” Dean said with a little smile.
***** Dean Man's Blood *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It wasn't mentioned again, that Sam wanted to leave when this was all done,
that he didn't want Dean. The older brother ached though. Sure, it'd seemed
pretty obvious that Sam wasn't interested in what they'd had before, but having
that confirmation out loud? That was painful. So he started to pull back, he
kept his distance. He didn't flirt with Sam anymore, he forced himself to stop
jerking off to the thought of him. Sam seemed upset and concerned about this,
but really? It wasn't his problem. Because what else was Dean supposed to do?
Continuing how he had been? That would be torture. And if Sam was going to
leave, he wasn't about to get his hopes up.
The first night with John and Sam that fell through. Despite his best efforts,
Dean was excited. They were all together again. They were going to hunt a nest
of vampires (fucking vampires!) together. Who knew? Maybe this would be a
turning point. Maybe if Sam saw that they could function together as a team, as
a family, he wouldn't want to go. Logically, he knew he was bullshitting
himself, but he just couldn't help it.
It didn't take long for his hopes to be crushed though. The next morning John
woke them up with orders, no explanation, and Sam? Well, Sam didn't like that.
He did what he was told, but he started bitching to Dean on the way and even
questioned their dad. John didn't take the bait though. Instead he got on Dean
for not taking care of Baby (also bullshit), but he was willing to take that if
it meant that Sam didn't get yelled at. What was he supposed to say anyway? He
was the good son. He was the one who followed orders, who did what he was told,
who never asked questions. Not to say that Sam was a bad son, but he was more
of a rebel in that sense.
A few hours later it all came to a head. John gave them another order with no
explanation and Sam got pissed. He sped up to pass their dad and stopped the
car, slamming the door shut as he climbed out. Fuck, this wasn't going to be
good. Dean sighed and got out, prepared to be the mediator, but there wasn't
even much for him to do. The two were in each other's faces yelling before he
knew what was happening and it took a lot of effort to get Sam to back away.
But no. His brother couldn't just leave it at that. Stubborn little brat had to
have the last word.
"This is why I left in the first place," he muttered as he walked away and Dean
had half a breath to hope their dad didn't hear before the yelling was going on
again. When he finally got Sam into the Impala again the bitching didn't end,
but for the most part Dean wasn't really paying attention. What good would it
do anyway? Suddenly though, something Sam was saying caught his interest. "You
know, if he wasn't like this we could've been together. I didn't want us to
split up. That was all his fucking fault."
Dean blinked at that. "What?" When Sam left hadn't that been what he was doing?
Hadn't he meant that he wanted to go find a normal life, to not fuck around
with his big brother anymore?
"We were still supposed to be together," Sam said frustratedly, gripping the
steering wheel tight, "You were supposed to come visit and stay in my dorm with
me now and then."
Oh. Suddenly Dean imagined a whole different way all of this could have gone.
He could have had Sam. They could've been together this whole time. He could've
still had him now. But that had been fucked up because...Why?
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"You need to stay with Dad."
Dean frowned at that. "I could've done both."
"Not really, Dean," Sam said quietly, "Not really."
And his brother was right. Because with the way John ran things it wouldn't
have been an option. There would have always been a fight from one end or the
other, John would have always been using Dean to try to pull Sam back in and it
wouldn't have worked out because Dean never stood up to their father. So that's
what he needed to do. Maybe if he could prove to Sam that he could have
both...Maybe then he could.
Chapter End Notes
     Wow, okay. So here's another chapter. And I know I've said it a lot,
     but I'm gonna try to write more regularly from here on out. Comments
     help. Let me know what you think, what you'd like to see from before
     that I didn't touch on. I'm gonna write another chapter here soon as
     an apology for taking so long and it will be phone sex from when Sam
     was at Stanford.
     Also, if you'd like to see something from another character's POV
     totally let me know and I'll give it a shot!
     I wanna know I'm writing this for you guys and write things you
     enjoy, so seriously. Any suggestions are welcome and all of them will
     at LEAST be taken into consideration.
     Thanks for stickin' with me. You guys rock!
***** Chapter 22 *****
It was lonely in bed by himself. It’d been months and Dean missed the hell out
of his brother. The bed was always so cold without him. He’d tried to warm it
with other people, but he rarely wanted them to stay the night, and when he
actually did, it just wasn’t the same.
He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. He’d called Sam earlier,
but had gotten the voicemail. His brother was probably too immersed in his
homework to answer the phone. That sounded like his nerd of a brother. Dean
remembered when Sam was still in high school. They’d lay together while the
younger did his homework. Dean would close his eyes while Sam absently pet him
with his left hand. Sometimes he’d watch TV or do research for a hunt at the
same time. It didn’t matter that they weren’t doing the same thing.They were
together and that was what counted.
He ached at the thought of his brother, eyes filling with tears. Fuck, he hated
this. It was so hard on these nights. Maybe if he could cry himself to sleep
and get some peace it would be okay, but he couldn’t even sleep.
After awhile he couldn’t handle it anymore. He needed to at least hear Sam’s
voice, even if it was only the voicemail. He dialed his brother’s number and
listened to the rings with anticipation.
“Dean.” Oh. Oh, that was Sam live.
“Sammy,” Dean whispered and hated how pathetic he sounded.
“What’s wrong?” The concern in Sam’s voice made him long even more to be with
his brother.
“I miss you.”
A soft sigh came from the other end of the line. “I miss you too, De.”
Dean made a soft noise and wiped his eyes before deciding he shouldn’t linger
on this topic any longer. “What were you doing earlier? Studying?”
“Yeah, I had a study group. It was just Brady, Eric, and this girl Jessica that
Brady brought.”
Dean cocked a brow at that. “Oh yeah? That his girlfriend?”
Sam was quiet for a moment. “No, he uh...He actually wanted me to meet her
‘cause he thought I would like her.”
Now it was Dean’s turn to be silent, stomach twisting in knots. “And?”
“I don’t know, Dean,” Sam sighed, “She’s cute and nice, but...I mean, she’s not
you.”
A small smile curved onto Dean’s face. “Oh yeah?”
“Well yeah,” Sam said softly, “I mean I know it wasn’t always just us, but it
doesn’t feel right if you’re not part of it, y’know? ‘Cause if I don’t have you
then I’d just be thinking about you when I’m with her and that’s not fair.”
Oh, that felt good to hear. Dean’s smile widened. “I know what you mean. I
always think about you when I’m fucking chicks. They don’t feel as good as you,
Sammy.” He heard his brother’s breath shake and smirked to himself.
“Wish we could have sex again,” Sam whispered, “That night was amazing.”
“It really was,” Dean murmured, “You’re the best I’ve ever had.”
“Yeah right,” Sam said skeptically, “It was my first time.”
“So? Sammy, it was you. That made it perfect.”
It was quiet for a moment before Sam spoke again. “I wish you were here.”
Could be there in a few hours, Dean thought, but kept it to himself. He’d go to
Sam if his brother asked him too. “I wish I was there too,” he replied instead.
“Wanna kiss you.”
Dean closed his eyes, remembering the feel of Sam’s lips. They were so soft and
perfect to bite down on, to lick, to suck. “I wanna kiss you too, baby bro.”
Sam let out a little whine. “Wanna touch you.”
Dean groaned softly at that. “Oh yeah?” he whispered, “Where? How? Tell me what
you want, Sammy.”
There was a pause before Sam spoke in a whisper as well. “I wanna touch your
chest, kiss all over it. And your stomach. Wanna run my fingers over your sides
and make you shiver.”
Just the words caused that shiver. Dean could imagine that so fucking well. If
he closed his eyes he could imagine it was happening, that Sam was on top of
him, straddling his hips and kissing his skin.
“What would you do?”
Sam’s voice brought Dean back to reality, but he kept his eyes closed,
continuing to imagine it all.
“I’d run my fingers through your hair,” Dean whispered, “After a couple minutes
I’d grab that hair and pull you up so I can kiss those gorgeous lips. Wrap my
arm around your waist. Hold you nice n’ tight the way I know you like it.”
Sam’s breath was coming heavier now, but Dean could hardly feel cocky when his
own was shaking.
“Mm...Dean,” Sam breathed, “I’d rub my ass against your crotch. Tease you like
I always did when I was trying to get you to fuck me.”
Dean groaned. His cock was getting hard at the thought. “You were always so
damn tempting, Sammy,” he moaned, “Thought about that perfect ass all the time.
Wanted to bury my cock so deep inside you. Wanted to fuck you into the
mattress, make you scream my name, come untouched.
Sam groaned lowly. “I thought about that. Thought about riding you too. Know
you’d love seeing me bounce on your dick. Bet I could ride you better than the
girls you fuck. Could last longer before my legs started to hurt.”
“Oh, I know you’d ride me better, baby,” Dean purred, rubbing himself through
his jeanns. “Nobody loves my cock like you.”
Sam moaned. “No, they don’t. Love it so much, De.”
Dean licked his lips and undid his jeans, pulling his cock out to stroke it
slowly. “I’m touching myself for you, Sammy.”
A low whine came from the other end and Dean wished he could watch while he
teased his brother, drag it on for hours.
“Dean,” Sam moaned, “Wanna touch it, taste it, feel it.”
“Take your pants off, Sammy,” Dean ordered in a whisper, “Suck on your fingers
for me and put one inside. Imagine it’s me.”
There was silence for a moment except a little rustling. Then Dean heard a
quiet sucking, heavy breath, and at long last, a moan. “That’s it, Sammy,” he
encouraged, “Take your time. Go nice and slow. Stretch yourself open for your
brother’s cock. Good boy.”
“Dean…”
“I know, honey. You’re doing so good. Tell me how it feels.”
“So tight,” Sam groaned, “Need you to stretch me out with your dick, fill me up
so good.”
Dean cursed at that, cock twitching in his hand, and he stroked himself a
little bit faster. He was careful though, not wanting to end the fun too soon.
“Put another finger in, baby boy.”
There was a low whine from the other end and then a sigh of relief that Dean
recognized as the sound Sam sometimes made when he finally got more.
“That’s it, Sammy.” He rubbed precome over the head of his leaking cock. “You
like that? It feel good?”
“Yesss,” Sam moaned and Dean could just imagined him arching off the mattress
as he pushed his fingers in deeper, scissored himself open.
“Doin’ so good, baby brother. You’re so sexy.” m
“Dean.” The word was a gasp, such a beautiful fucking gasp.
“What, Sammy? What is it?”
“Want more,” Sam whined, pleaded, and how could Dean possibly deny him?
“Go ahead, Sammy,” he breathed, “Put one more in.”
There was panting and another moan and Dean imagined burying his fingers deep
inside his brother, eager to make him come. He knew that hole was so tight and
he could easily remember how it felt around him.
“Should get yourself a toy,” he murmured, “Something to fill you up nice and
good whenever you want my cock.”
“I’d...I’d need a plug for that,” Sam panted, “Always want your dick.”
Dean cursed at that, fucking into his fist. “fuck, I’m close, baby. Need you to
come first.”
“Close,” Sam whined and his moans started coming louder, breath heaving. “Dean,
Dean, Dean,” he chanted breathlessly and finally he let out one final cdry.
That was a cry Dean would always remember the sound of. His baby brother had
just come. He stroked himself faster and faster and soon he was coming as well,
groaning Sam’s name.
“Fuck, De,” Sam whispered when he finally got his breathing under control. “So
good.”
Dean smiled lazily. “Good. Love you, little brother.”
“Love you too, big brother.”
“Good night,” Dean murmured.
“Night.”
He slept easy for the first night in months.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!