Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/978021. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage, Rape/Non-Con Category: M/M Fandom: Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan Relationship: Levi/Eren_Yeager Additional Tags: Domestic_Violence, Gang_Rape, Cutting, Alcohol_Abuse/Alcoholism, Triggers, Underage_Smoking, French_Kissing, Teen_Angst, Sexual Frustration, Sexual_Violence, Swearing, Explicit_Language, Discrimination Stats: Published: 2013-09-23 Completed: 2014-05-10 Chapters: 14/14 Words: 21721 ****** Amour Noir ****** by orphan_account Summary When life is at it's lowest, when you're just ready to give up on the world; Eren Jeager falls for a French transfer student, only to be used by the very person he loves. (Most chapters involve angst and may cause upset/triggers/MxM, you have been warned) Notes IM TRACKING :: fic: Armour Noir On Tumblr This is something that I need to get out of my system, if you're not okay with any of the tags then I don't recommend reading! But to the rest of you thanks for reading! ***** Chapter 1 ***** The sound of rain thudding on the roof and pattering down the windows is enough to wake me from my restless sleep. The obnoxiously bright numbers on the digital clock beside me tell me that I have exactly ten minutes to get dressed and get out of the house, school sucks. Bad. I still don't even know why it exists, I'm absent more than I'm even in the building, and I'm pretty sure I have the worst attainment record in the schools' history. I groggily roll myself out from underneath the covers, feeling the cold chill hitting my bare legs is enough to make me want to retreat back into the comfort and warmth of my duvet, but I know I have to go, I haven't been to school in three days, and if I stay home any longer then the staff will send a letter home. Not that anyone gives a crap where I am, it's just standard procedure or some shit like that. I give myself a final push, and I'm standing upright on the stained floor of my room, I've been 'mentally unstable' since mom died, no one really knows where she went, but most people have given up looking for her, I used to believe that one day she'd come back too, to rescue her son from his life in hell, but I've long since given up that hope; she's as dead to me now as she is to everyone else. I sigh and trudge over to the vast wardrobe as quickly as my sleepy self can manage at 7:25 in the morning, which quite frankly, isn't very fast. Grumbling under my breath I swing the door open to look inside, everything is the same, devoid of all colour, the only shade in there is black. I pull out a pair of black skinnies with several chains clipped to the belt loops, a black T-shirt with white folded angel wings printed on the back, a black hoodie and my pair of black converse sneakers. I've heard all of the names now, 'goth, emo, fag' yep, I've heard them all; but they just roll right off my back, I've given up caring about anything. When mom was still here I'd do my best in school to maintain my grades and make sure I was doing the best I possibly could, but that was then, and this is now. It didn't take long for my grades to slip, once they started on their descent into 'C-grade' territory they got worse from there. I'm a straight F student now, and even though I know I should be ashamed and doing my damnedest to pick them back up, I just don't care anymore. I broke ties with all of my friends, even my family. I'm as meaningless to anyone now as my mother, I don't exist anymore and that's just the way I like it. Of course there are still those jerks in the school who pick on me cause I'm 'easy' as I've said before, I don't care enough to fight back so I let them get on with it, let them say what they like, let them hurt me and kick me, and tell me I'm shit, 'cause trust me; I already know that. I glance back at the clock over my shoulder and realise I should be out of the house by now, so I grab my black headphones (also with white angel wings printed on them) and my MP3 player, and then I'm out of the front door and making my way through the pouring rain to the hell-hole more commonly known as school. I don't need to get up as early as other kids for many reasons, those being that I actually don't live that far away from school and the second being that I don't eat breakfast anymore, I've become used to the aching, empty feeling of not eating anything for days at a time, I know it's not healthy, I know it's not normal to crave the empty feeling, I'm well aware I have an eating disorder but I can't help it. I just don't want to eat anymore, I have to sometimes, of course, otherwise I'll die, and as much as I hate my life I'd never want to die; I'm too much of a coward to kill myself, not that I haven't come close to it a few times. One of those such times was when I realised I was gay, as if my life couldn't get anymore fucked up than it was already, but then to make it worse, my default setting is to want boys fucking me not girls... Yeah, my life sucks. I'm pulled out of my daydreaming by seeing the gated entrance to the school looming above me, here comes a day of misery. I walk through the gates, there's no one else around considering I'm already late for lessons and everyone else has long since registered and is sitting in some mediocre lesson studying shit they don't need in later life. I make my way up to the main entrance before I stop suddenly, a dark figure is standing to the side of the courtyard, he seems to be short in stature, maybe in the year below judging by his height? I see smoke faintly rising from something he's holding in his hand, wait! He smokes?! That's totally bad-ass, not to mention risky openly smoking on school grounds. I myself started drinking and smoking at the age of 13 due to my mothers' passing, I still do both now at the age of 16, but still, it never fails to shock me everytime I see someone else involved in such a dark way of life. I walk over to him, intrigued by the male I know nothing about. He takes in a deep drag of smoke and blows it out in a smooth motion, watching as it disperses into the rain. Suddenly he whips his head around, fuck, he must've heard me approaching. His eyes are so dark they're almost black, but I can see that they have a hint of grey patterned around the iris' his lashes are long and dark; his hair is styled in some sort of under-cut, and the look of his face is enough to send shivers down my spine. The guy, simply-put is drop-dead gorgeous, I stop myself from gawking though before my gaze drops any lower down his body. "En voulez-vous?" I'm snapped out of my staring by a strong accent, so he's French? Figures the hottie can't even speak my language, he's probably an exchange student, just my luck. "S-sorry? I don't speak French" He 'tsk's' and rolls his eyes, holding out an unlit cigarette to me, I get the hint and take the paper stick out of his hand. He pulls out a lighter and sets it under the end until it catches fire, leaving me to stand back against the wall with him silently taking in breath after breath of the deadly smoke. I take this opportunity to look him over again, he's just my type, a goth by the looks of it. He is wearing all black the same as me, his black skinnies have chains and belts hanging from the loopholes, I look closely enough to see silver crosses decorating almost every one. I move my eyes up his body, taking in his lean but worryingly thin structure, his hoodie is black too, but it has dark stains on the arms that look scarily like blood; but I don't question, his eyes are outlined by deep black eyeliner and his lashes thickened with mascara, his face is pale white like marble but somehow it all looks natural on this mysterious boy. "Si tu continues à me regarder plus longtemps, je te défonce!" I have no idea what it means, but something about the look he gives me sends shivers down my spine, but being around him also makes me uncomfortable. "Peut importe. Comment tu t'appelles?" He looks at me intensely, I've been in enough French lessons to know that he's asking my name, "Oh, Eren, Eren Jeager" I stutter, why does he make me so damn nervous? "Eren Jeager" the name flows off his tongue like water in his sickly beautiful accent, I wish he'd say it again and again, but maybe in slightly different circumstances, I feel my lower half growing hot and look away trying to rid my mind of dirty thoughts. "je m'appelle Levi" he glances away before putting out his cigarette on the wall behind us, then without saying anything else he walks away up the the school entrance before disappearing from sight. What an amazing person, I cough slightly from the smoke, and after finishing my cigarette I too put mine out and walk towards the entrance. I really hope this isn't going to be the last time I see Levi. ***** Chapter 2 ***** Chapter Summary Eren gets assaulted but Levi arrives just in time. Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes I didn't see Levi all through my remaining lessons, no matter how much I craned above the crowds of on-coming students to catch a glimpse of jet-black hair, or dead-to-the-world eyes I just couldn't find him.  It seems he was exceptionally good at crowd-blending (much like myself) to keep out of the way of people who might take offence by his presence. I could see Levi coming across to people in a bad way so no wonder he was staying low- profile; I mean, just the fact he's from a different country is enough to make someone sign their death warrant at my school. "Oi Jeager!" I grit my teeth and try to remain stoic-faced as I turn slowly to address my harassers.  I hope that whatever they're going to do, they'll do it quickly because I still have one more lesson to go before the final bell calls the end of the school day. "I said oi!"  I look my main offender straight in the eye, he's not off-put though because he knows I won't do anything to retaliate against him.  "yes?" I try not to change the tone or pitch of my voice, any small difference could send out all the wrong signals and get me a worse beating than the one they've already got planned for me... "where were you this morning you little shit?! I heard you were hanging outside the school gates with the French fag" Usually I wouldn't be offended by someone else getting insulted, I rarely even get offended when someone insults me, I guess I just don't care anymore about anything not even myself; but when they offend Levi, something inside me just sparks and makes me feel uncomfortable, what right have they got to offend and insult someone they don't even know?! I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from speaking, if I talk now then I might as well kiss my sorry existence goodbye.  "what's the matter Jeager? Cat got your tongue?" it's pathetic and they know it is, they just pick on the weak because they're easy prey, it's not even survival of the fittest, it's just petty entertainment for them. "guess we'll just have to knock some words out of you!" the taller boy steps forwards and forces me to step back reflexively, pushing myself flat against the surface of a locker, the metal is cool on my back and sends involuntary shivers down my spine. "aww lookie here, the shit's shaking with fear!" one jeers noticing my physical response to the change of temperature and miss-reading it. Great! Now they think I'm so weak as to shake when I see them preparing to kick the shit out of me. A boy steps forwards and raises his fist, instinctively I raise my arms across my face to protect my nose, leaving my stomach wide open, I feel the familiar ache of pain as his fist connects with my rib-cage; knocking the air out of my chest. I wheeze and bend over double, trying to fill my lungs with the much needed oxygen.  They're not done yet though, and soon they are hitting me from every angle until I'm down on the floor, they probably don't even have a reason for this, they're all going to be High-school drop-outs anyway so it doesn't matter to them what goes on their report slips. The bell sounded minutes ago for the start of the next period, guess that means they plan on drawing this out for as long as possible.  "what- do you want?" I gasp through suffering breaths, I never usually talk back, but I'm sick of this crap! They can at least give me a reason for this beating.  "oh look he's found his voice, shame he won't be able to rat on us when we're done with him"  My eyes go wide open as I see a metallic glint in the corner of my eyes, one of them has a knife, an actual fucking knife! This is going way too far, what the fuck do these Mary-sues want from me? "hey Jeager, need a haircut?" the guy with the knife pulls me up until I'm flat on my stomach, another holds my arms firmly behind my back so I am fully restrained.  The one with the knife sits between my shoulder-blades, holding my top half off the floor by yanking my hair up, it brings tears to my eyes, it stings like acid.  "I said do you want a haircut?" he flicks the knife in his hand, trying to get a reaction out of me, I flinch a little to satisfy him, he brings the glinting blade closer to my forehead, and roughly pulls it through a chunk of my silky hair.  Damn them! Where the fuck are the hall monitors?! Even the janitor at this point, I don't care! I hear a heavy 'thwack' sound and feel the weight removed from my back, what's going on? I look up through tear-blurred eyes to see a flash of black as a super-fast sweep kicks the legs from right under one of the attackers.  Dazedly I rub the tears from my eyes to get a better look at the mysterious person helping me, only to notice... Shit! It's Levi! He drop kicks another of the boys in the face knocking his teeth right back into his skull, enraged, he spits out blood and dashes towards Levi, but he's not quick enough; and Levi's foot collides with the side of his face at the same time his shoulder is dislocated by Levi's powerful grip. "Putain qu'est ce que tu fais?!!" I hear him yell at the boys trying to get up from the floor where Levi easily put them,  "bien?!"  They look terrified, I actually think one of them pissed himself but I'm not sure, they scramble to their feet and sprint to their best abilities down the corridor.  "t-thanks, I-" I wheeze and fall to the ground, choking up a bit of blood and wiping it away with the back of my hand, I see a hint of... Worry? In his usually indifferent gaze.  "Eren vous allez bien?" he supports me by wrapping his arm around my back and pulling me upright into a sitting position where it is easier for me to breathe. "Allez, on y va!" he pulls my arm in a firm but gentle manner, helping to to stand, I shake a little still alarmed from my attack, and my scalp burns like fire but I'm not going to say anything about it. Levi strides in a purposeful manner towing me behind him by my hoodie sleeve, I notice he is heading for the back entrance of the school, I have mixed feelings; I now full-well that I can't go back to lessons in my current state, but there is still almost 45 minutes left of the remaining lesson, plus I'm sure I have an after-school detention today with my Maths teacher who hates my guts. I can't just leave like this, but something about Levi makes it seem okay to do this, to blatantly violate the school rules and just go to hell with it.  I look back at the school building as Levi pulls me down the pavement, I wonder where he's taking me, but that doesn't really matter,  maybe I've actually made a friend? As long as he doesn't keep me out after 8:00pm I should be fine, but if I'm not back before then, my dad will certainly punish me for it. I try and shake those thoughts from my mind and try and focus on here and now. I'm being taken to who-knows-where with mr drop-dead gorgeous. This could actually turn out better then I think it will. Chapter End Notes I hope I'm doing okay?! I am very grateful to everyone who has commented and left kudos on my work! It means so much to me! *happy cry* I hope things get better for poor Eren (but not yet for quite some time *evil laugh* as this continues you'll see that Eren isn't the only one with problems in his life!! Thanks for reading and I hope you stick with me throughout this story! Thanks again! ^.^ ***** Chapter 3 ***** Chapter Summary Levi breaks Eren free from school and takes him back to his apartment... Chapter Notes Chapter three at long freaking last! Expect teasing (cause I'm mean like that!) See the end of the chapter for more notes We've been walking for the best part of an hour before Levi finally slows down his pace. I've not been to this part of the city before, I don't know this neighbourhood and it makes me uneasy. "Hé Jeager!" I snap out of my trance as I see a slightly frustrated Levi looking up at me. "Y-Yes?" I laugh nervously not wanting to upset the person who could possibly be my only friend, "réveiller, petite merde! honnêtement, vous êtes comme un enfant" he 'tsk's and drags me towards an apartment building, the door is black and the paintwork is chipping to reveal the rotting wood underneath. By the side of the door is a panel with the glass shattered making it almost impossible to decipher the words printed underneath, but they seem to be names of some sort and next to each name is a room number and a telephone  number.  Levi pulls out a key attached to a chain from around his neck, he must've been wearing it underneath his hoodie; he slips it into the lock and lets himself in, I just stand there waiting for his permission to enter. "qu'attendez-vous pour? se dépêcher!" He raises an eyebrow in disapproval and that's all it takes to get me through the door, and fumbling to get it shut as quickly as I possibly can. The whole building stinks, and I can barley see my hand in front of my face when I lift it up to see; my senses of hearing and touch kick in and help me to make it up a flight of extremely creaky stairs up and about three flights more before I awkwardly bump into Levi from behind.  Electricity sparks up my legs and arms at the sudden contact, being around this guy all alone is not good for me, I don't know how much self-control I have.  "D'accord!" Levi uses another key from a different chain around his neck to open the door to what must be his share of the apartment, I mean, how many godamn keys does he have?  I quickly follow him into his room only to be hit with... Yet more blackness, does anyone in this building ever open the fucking curtains?! Or at least open a window, I can barely breathe in here! "installez-vous confortablement"  That's when it hits me. I'm sitting in this guys apartment room, I only met him this morning, I'm about 80% sure he's gay and I'm 99% sure I like him and I'm 100% sure that if I'm left too long in a room alone with him I'm not going to be able to hold myself back from doing something bad to him. "Jaeger, Vous allez bien?" Levi walks over and sits down next to me on the sagging couch,  "huh?" I blink confusedly at him, this language barrier is seriously going to get in the way of things. He sighs and rolls his eyes, I can see that in the dark, and I pout slightly annoyed that he seems to think so little of me. The dark-haired boys' eyes must have adjusted to the dark as well because I hear him chuckle slightly, he must find it amusing that I'm getting emotionally frustrated by him. "il est bon que vous ne pouvez pas me comprendre, parce que je suis sûr que que vous alliez putain mentale si vous saviez je vous trouve amusant" I hear him mutter under his breath, he seems to get closer to me making me shift nervously on the couch.  "Um, I-" I try and think of something to say but I'm lost for words when I realise that I'm staring directly into his eyes and he's staring directly back at me, I feel my eyes close and I lean in slightly more towards him... My fantasy is abruptly shattered as I hear loud and raucous laughter explode by my ears. "vous êtes la vraie chose! ce qu'est un putain blague!" he's rocking backwards and forwards, and I can see his hand move to his eyes as he wipes away tears forming there from his laughing fit. I cringe and flush darkly, shit! What kind of a fucking idiot am I?! He knows now, crap! Maybe I should make a break for it?!  "Um, I gotta go" I grab my bag and stand up abruptly, I can see the door I will make it out of here. "pas si vite Jeager" I feel his iron grip around my wrist, "Vous êtes pressé de partir?" he pulls me back down sharply and I feel slightly winded from the force. He laughs again and I hear him rummage around in the darkness, there's a rustling of packaging and a snap, a flame kicks into life and he lights a cigarette then brings it to his lips, taking in a long drag before blowing the smoke out. I've never been a heavy smoker, a heavy drinker yes; but cigarettes just never interested me, however something about Levi makes the paper life- shortners intriguing to me.  "vous en voulez?" he sees me staring at his lips, and I lick mine in response,  "I uhhh..." I struggle to think of words, "I don't know what you're saying"  "pour l'amour de baise"  Before I can register what's happening Levi grabs my hood and pulls me in towards him, he takes in a long drag with one hand and then he brings his lips to mine. Shit just got real. Fuck me what's going on?! He blows the smoke out slowly into my mouth and pulls back as if nothing had ever happened. I cough, not used to the smoke being blown into my lungs like that, I've heard of it before though; something called shotgunning.  "avoir une emprise" Levi sighs again as he watches me coughing and spluttering, trying to get over both the shock of him practically kissing me and the shock of the smoke stinging my lungs. I don't know how I'm going to fucking survive around him.  Just as I'm starting to imagine all the dark and dirty things I can do with him in this apartment I feel the buzz as my phone receives a text message. I mean, come on, really?  My face goes pale though when I see who the text is from and what it says. From dad: 'get home NOW, and don't expect a warm welcoming' Fuck. "Levi I gotta go." I stammer and pick my stuff up and run towards the door, he looks worried suddenly and stands as if to make after me. "mais nous sommes débutant pour s'amuser"  He looks... Upset almost, maybe he thinks it's something he's done to scare me off. "I'm sorry Levi, I gotta go... I'll see you around" and with that I'm out of the door, I want to go back; to forget my father and stay with the beautiful boy behind the door of the deserted apartment. If only I could stay... Chapter End Notes I'm so sorry that I haven't updated since forever! My godamn life is being a b*tch! My family life is getting in the way and my GCSEs are being a freaking b*tch to me! Gimme a break life! At least we've moved onto creative and narrative writing in English so it's my forté! Please, if you seen any errors let me know (in either French or English!) Thank you for all the kudos and the kind comments and favourites! I appreciate all your support guys, seriously I do! I hope that I can go back to updating every Friday! Thank you again! ***** Chapter 4 ***** Chapter Summary Eren makes it back to his home but he's almost an hour late... He's confronted by his father and his dark, out-of-school agenda is revealed. Ideologically sensitive material in this chapter -non explicit but a warning just in case. Chapter Notes Have an extra long chapter becuase I am such a bitch and ignored you all for so long!! See the end of the chapter for more notes I finally make my way down the creaky stairwell of the apartment building, more then a few times I almost tripped and fell to my death in the impenetrable darkness. Anxiously I  pull out my mobile phone and bite my bottom lip drawing blood when I see the time, 8:35. Shit I'm late by almost an hour, I guess I was with Levi longer than I thought...   I pick up my speed and start tearing down the asphalt of the rain-soaked pavements, the wind whipping my hair back and the rain coming down like sheets drenches me all the way through, my hoodie clings soddenly to my body and my converse squelch as they fill with muddy rainwater. Where in the fucking hell did this weather come from? I'm late home and now heaven is sending its very own 'fuck-your-life-Jeager-party'  I've always been a good sprinter, I learnt actually from being chased around by bullies in first school, I was never popular even as a seven year old, but it sure as hell taught me how to run at speeds most kids couldn't even dream of reaching; it felt like flying. My mom used to take me out to parks where there were fields of grass stretched out in front of me and I'd just run and run and run until I collapsed. It was a way of escaping the pain and hurt in my life, I'd always stagger back to my mom and she'd hold her arms out open and wrap a warm blanket around me. I realise with dismay that I'm crying! furiously I blink and wipe the tears away, although with the weather as horrific as it is, the tears would be mistaken for rain water; but goddammit that's not the point, this is about pride. I grit my teeth and put in an extra spurt of speed as I round the corner to my run-down house. It's not a nice area, there are homeless people sitting on doorsteps, and drug addicts sitting in alleyways sharing needles, prostitutes who rent nearby rooms take customers up to their lairs and do their dirty business with them; There isn't a single respectable person living around here, myself included.  I slow down, wheezing, as I walk up the chipped and crumbling concrete porch steps, I try and smooth my dripping wet hair back and wring some of the rainwater out of my hoodie before I press the doorbell. Dad won't give me a key, it's his way of stopping me from running away, he knows I wouldn't leave without taking any of my belongings, and if I can't get into the house to retrieve them, then how am I supposed to leave?    I take in deep breaths trying to get my breathing speed back to normal, although it's hard work considering I know my very angry father will be waiting for me on the other side of the wood... I hear the sound of the many locks on the other side of the door being opened until finally with a gush of stale air, the door is opened,  "Get in" the man known as my father hisses at me and turns to let me inside. I wipe my feet on the ancient foot-mat placed behind the door after shutting it behind me, before I can even register the movement I am slammed against the wall. I grunt as I feel his hand tighten around the collar of my hoodie,  "Where the fuck were you?" he spits in my face, pinning me so I can't move an inch without pain coursing through my body from when I got beaten earlier at school. "I-I had after school" I lie, hoping he will believe me, it seems like he will though because his grip loosens around my neck. "You pathetic piece of shit, first day back to school and you can't even manage that?!" he leers at me and shoves me down onto the rotting floorboards, "Clean yourself up, you've got work to do later"  I nod my head as shudders from both the cold and fright tremor through my frame, I don't quite know how he'd react to me being at Levi's but my money's on it not having a good ending for me. Brushing the collected dust from the floor off my jeans I walk doggedly up the stairs, the stained brown wallpaper on the walls either side of me is peeling, chipped yellowish plaster board showing through. The house has been in disarray since mom left over three years ago.  I shake the thoughts of mom out of my head again as I turn to open the door to my bedroom, it used to have a lock but dad gouged it out so that I have absolutely no privacy, not that I care, he never enters my room anyway.  Sighing, I peel my sodden clothes off my shivering body, I don't think I have time for a quick shower before work starts, so I discard the clothing into a dark corner and make my way over to my closet; I pick out a pair of black-matt shorts that reach down to just above my knees, they're fairly loose so my movement can't be restricted when I'm walking around. I pick out a black T- shirt that is cut off just above my navel, exposing my pale flesh. A chunky silver belt is fastened around my hips and I decide on a pair of black army boots that reach above my ankles with buckles adorning them and chunky soles.  I saunter over to my cracked mirror and pick up one of my many bottles of liquid eyeliner off my dressing table, in the dimness of the room I manage to apply the eyeliner thick around my green eyes staring unseeingly back at me, dad says the black makes them stand out so it's better for work.  Work. I shudder at the thought, I still can't quite believe he makes me, mom would roll over in her grave if she knew (providing she is dead of course, that's what I've come to believe anyway, there's no way she'd let me live like this if she was still alive right?)  "Are you almost done brat? Your customer is going to be here in about ten" I hear my dad shout up the stairs, the sound echoing off the barren walls; there have been no pictures in the house since mom left, dad took them all down saying that they reminded him of her and he was sickened by it.  I brush my hair and blow-dry it quickly to try and remove some of the water that still remains from the rainstorm.  "I'll be there shortly" I yell back, straightening my clothes out and quickly remember my collar that is fastened around my bedpost, damn, I would've been in some serious shit from my dad if I had of forgotten that. It was part of my 'uniform' so to speak.  I breathe in deeply preparing myself mentally for the events which will happen to my soon, and after re-checking my appearance for the thousandth time, I emerge from my room and lightly make my way down the stairs. "You've finally decided to join us I see" my father glares at me, I look to his left where a man I've never seen before is sitting on an armchair next to him.  "I'm going down to the bar, this is your customer for the evening, behave or I'll give you hell to pay," and with that threat my dad stood up and left the room, I swallowed thickly as I heard the latch click behind him as he exited the building. "So? You're Eren?" I was brought back into reality by a deep voice reaching my ears, I nod and stay quiet trying to look calm and natural. The man stands up and makes his way towards me through the inky blackness of the sitting room. I feel his strong hands grip my jaw as he tilts my face up for inspection; I look down in submission hoping to god that he gets it over with quickly, the last thing I hear before I zone my mind out is a chuckle of amusement.  The entire time he's hurting me, and touching me, I think of Levi. It makes it a little more bearable, I replace the strangers face with the beautiful features of my dark haired goth boy.  The time passes quicker than usual, faintly I hear the latch click as my father returns, drunk out of his mind from heavy drinking.  Words are exchanged briefly between my father and the stranger as well as a handful of paper money. I've played my part and stiffly I get up off the floor where he left me and scramble around to retrieve my discarded clothes and leave to my room before my dad walks in, he'll kick me if he sees me like this; I learnt a long time ago that I have to clear the area as soon as possible after dad's been drinking to save myself from a world of pain.  Sobbing a little I clamber up the stairs once more to the sanctuary of my room, once I'm inside my haven I make my way over to my bed and just cry uncontrollably into the filthy pillows.  I see a faint glint of silver, the moonlight is shining through a crack in my broken blind and beaming down on something that will give me an escape.  Taking in shuddering breaths I fumble around until my hand closes over a familiar steel handle, I bring the kitchen knife towards my bare arm and let the bliss wash over me as I drag it through my skin. I make five cuts before I put the knife down on the table again and I hold myself, letting the blood seep into the bedsheets. I don't know if I want to go to school tomorrow, but I want to see Levi again. I just-  My world fades black as dreamless sleep takes me away. Chapter End Notes I can only get down on my hands and knees in an apology to you all!! My mom took my Internet and my phone and my music! I couldn't write anything and upload it! I can only apologise. I'm so sorry, feel free to rant at me and tell me just how much of a shitty person I am! I should (fingers crossed) be able to have the chapters up more regularly now (don't bet on it though please!) I actually really surprised and touched at how popular this has become and at only three chapters in?!!!! you guys are great! Thanks to all of you commenting, bookmarking and giving kudos to my shitty story! I hope I can bring you more soon!! I'm so sorry about what I did to Eren *cries* he's got a long way to go and there is a lot more foreseeable angst in future chapters but everything will eventually be alright! Thanks once more for sticking with me! Let me know what you thought of the chapter, all comments welcome even flames, just let me know m'kay? -^.^- ***** Chapter 5 ***** Chapter Summary Eren skives school and goes to the local shopping centre only to be confronted directly by a member of staff at Costa... Levi conveniently shows up and all hell breaks loose. Chapter Notes Warnings:: Discrimination is big in this chapter See the end of the chapter for more notes I feel nauseous, my eyes seem almost glued together with a mixture made of sleep dust and my own dried tears. The sunlight streams through the crack in my blind causing me to shield my eyes from the searing light. "Fuck..." I moan as I see that I'm late for school, should I even bother going? Levi flashes through my mind, the beautiful alabaster skin framed by raven hair is enough to send my heart beating at an erratic mis-matched pace; it's not worth explaining to the teachers why I didn't haul my ass into the school earlier so with a defeated sigh, I pull back my bloodstained bed sheets that are now tangled around my skinny torso and struggle to make my way to the bathroom. I look a fucking mess to put it politely, my hair is matted to my head and sticking up in odd angles in certain areas, my eye makeup is smudged and dried in tear streaks down my cheeks where I forgot to wash it off before going to sleep, and to make it worse I remember grimly that I cut myself last night, five burning scars stand out against the pale skin of my underarm. I tentatively reach an extended hand towards them, brushing my fingertips over the scratches, I hiss with the familiar stab of pain making my entire arm ache the whole way up. I look back at the reflection of myself and grimace, is this really the person I am? The person I have become? I shake my head as if to throw the offensive thoughts out and get to work on scrubbing my face clean with a mixture of baby wipes and water; eventually the caked on makeup is wiped clean from my face and I have somewhat tamed my hair down into it's usual style. Sighing again, I pick up a bottle of liquid eyeliner from a shelf above the sink just below the mirror, I apply the black substance with accuracy and easiness that only comes with years of practice, when I'm satisfied with the way my face now looks I leave the bathroom and pad back across the floor into my room to face my closet. I grab the door handles and throw the doors open to get a look at my options for today's outfit, black, black and more black. Yep, that's me, Eren Jeager the colourless zombie. I reach in and pull a pair of ripped-at-the-knees black skinny jeans and pick out a few silver chains to clip onto the belt loops as well as my favourite black and white checkered belt. I rummage through the clothes and grab an equally dark T-shirt with a skull wearing headphones and throw the items of clothing onto my un-made bed in order to find a suitable pair of shoes, I settle on a pair of black and white high-top converse sneakers and stand up to walk over to my bed to dress myself. I pull my T-shirt from last night over my head and wince as I put pressure on my rib-cage, I'm starting to get thin, people are going to notice sooner rather then later, but I just don't want to eat anything, I'm never hungry anymore. I look down at myself to see my ribs sticking out of my skin, is it really as bad as I think it is? Probably not, I've seen skinnier girls before so I'll be fine, no-one's looking anyway, why should they be? Once I'm dressed I grab my headphones and MP3 player and quickly leave my bedroom, I hear a faint rumbling emitting from behind a closed door further along the landing which means my father has passed out from drinking last night, that means I can get out of the house without having to stress about him catching me and enquiring where I'm going. Breathing steadily, I make my way down the staircase and almost out of the door when I glance across into the open kitchen, on the table the key to the front door is glinting in the sunlight streaming in through the window, part of me wants to run and take it and possibly never come back, yet I know that if I ever dared to steal the key my father would beat me shitless. Sighing heavily I turn back to the door and deflatedly walk out onto the pavement; the morning air is warmed from the sun and fresh to the taste. I pull my black headphones over my ears and switch my iPod onto shuffle and mouthing along the familiar words of a Blink182 song, this is nice, just being able to be out by myself with no one there to tell me I'm fucking my life up like they usually do. I decide to head downtown to the shopping centre, it wouldn't hurt to kill a few hours right? And no matter how much bullshit people spread, they honest to god do not give a fuck if there's a high school kid loitering about the mall when they're supposed to be in school, money is money, and as long as I'm buying their crap they don't care where I'm supposed to be. I see the familiar sign advertising the mall and walk up to the vast building, it has five floors full of people already shopping, the car park is full even though it's only ten in the morning. As I pass through the automatic doors I think about where I'm going to go, Costa seems like a pretty good place to start so I head off in the general direction of my chosen destination. I approach the café and walk up to the counter, there is a decidedly bored looking girl standing behind it checking her nails with a look of distain plastered across her overly made-up face, she looks to be only a little older than me so my guess is that she dropped out of high school and found herself stuck in a shit job with nothing to do with her life. "Excuse me?" I spoke up when she didn't notice me standing there for what must have been at least thirty seconds. "Huh?" She glanced up and looked at me, her expression changed completely when she made eye contact, I have never felt so mentally violated before in my life than the look she gave me, "Hey cutie, what'll it be?" She winked at me and made extra sure to bend over the counter to show her wares off. "Um..." I didn't like where this situation was heading, "I'll have an extra- large iced coffee please, with extra cream" I took a clear plastic straw from beside the napkin holder and made my way over to the till, "Is that all you want hun?" The girl made extra sure to put a stress on the 'all' "Look," I was starting to get frustrated, and I came here often so if she was a new employee I needed her to know not to flirt with me, "I don't know what you're doing or if it's even intentional, but please, for the love of god stop looking at me as if you want to tie me up with rope and throw me in the back of a white van to do things that I can't even begin to imagine" she looked as if she'd been shot, she knew she was caught out and it was putting her on the offensive, "I am flattered that you find me attractive and all that, but I'm... gay..." I lost my confidence at the end and took a great amount of interest in my sneakers, "You're what! Excuse me? Did I hear that right hun?" She looked shocked and was coming out of it pretty quickly, "so wait there hun, you like men? Oh god that's disgusting!" She was shrieking by now and causing a lot of attention, people sitting in booths were starting to stare at us to see what was causing the disturbance. Why do you have to fucking yell?! People are looking at us! I was debating whether or not to just run when I heard a smooth voice emanating from behind me, "Excusez-moi, est-il un problème?" I turn my head to see non-other than Levi standing by my side looking extremely pissed off and crossing his arms with a death glare that would make even the bravest man run home for mommy, "And who is this?" She pointed at Levi with a look of equal disgust, "Don't tell me he's your boyfriend or something?" I was getting angry, this was totally uncalled for, why did she even think she had the right to directly attack us because we were gay? "Oi, Jeager" I looked down at Levi and saw him smirking, "venir ici~" Before I even had time to register what happened, Levi's lips were pressed against my own, I would have melted then and there if it weren't for the horrifying fact that we were standing near-enough in the middle of Costa coffee committing a PDA. "Levi!" I yelped and pushed him away from me, the girl was standing with her mouth open and looked like she was going to wretch, several other people were staring with a mix of shock and repulsion and a couple with a young child stood up and left the shop, glaring at us as they passed by. "Venir" Levi tugged on my sleeve and practically dragged me out of Costa. "What the hell was that?!!!" I practically exploded, Levi had kissed me! Levi had kissed me IN PUBLIC. "Je ne sais pas pourquoi vous obtenez tellement en colère" Levi yawned as he made to sit down on a bench positioned in the middle of the walkway, a couple was sitting on a bench not far from us, they were holding hands and laughing gently, it hurt me; that people like them could hold hands in public and kiss each other without anyone even glancing their way, yet if we were holding hands and kissing people would yell shit abuse at us and most likely chase us out of the mall. "Levi?" I tilted my head but stopped when I saw that he was lost in thought, I sighed deeply and looked down to see his hand gently outspread on the wooden seat, would it really hurt anyone that much? Nervously, I bit my lip and reached down to place my hand over his. His dark grey eyes shot up immediately to meet mine in a look of complete surprise. "I- uh..." I tried to think of something to say but fell short of any justification for my actions, "Jeager?" My name rolled off his tongue in that way that only he can, "I'm sorry, forgive me" I tried to pull my hand away but was stopped abruptly when he intertwined his fingers with mine, holding onto my hand tightly. "What- why?" I didn't know how to respond, first the kiss and now this, Just as I was considering what I should do, an elderly couple passed by, they shot me a look of what can only be described as pure hatred and walked past, I heard the woman spit "kids these days, what do they think they're playing at?" as she walked away, I felt heartbroken. "Come on let's go" Levi looked at me with horror, what was wrong?! He reached up and brushed away something hot and wet streaking down my cheek, why the fuck was I crying?! "Eren?" I couldn't stop now, what was wrong with me? Furiously trying to wipe away the tears I was stopped by Levi's free hand, he gently held my wrist against his chest and leaned up to press a gentle kiss under my eye where tears were forming. I sniffled a little, I couldn't think of anything, hell, I couldn't even think. "Allons" Levi pulled my arms and led us towards the main exit, my hand was still interlocked with his, and my heart was beating erratically. "Je vais vous faire sentir mieux" his eyes softened slightly and he made his way towards a large black motorcycle that was parked a little away from us, no way did this kid own a bike, was that even legal at his age?! Just no way! It turned out however that he did, "Porter cette" he threw a black helmet at me and I pulled it over my head, the visa was tinted, blocking out the glare from the sun. Levi mounted the bike and kicked the stop out taking the weight from the vehicle and waiting for me to climb on behind him. I'd never been on a bike before so I had no idea what to do, Levi seemed to get the message and irritatedly grabbed at my arms, pulling them around his skinny waist. "Ne pas lâcher" he instructed, I didn't really understand but I got the drift and held on tightly, Levi pulled his own helmet on and revved up the engine, the sound sent a shiver down my spine, I had never felt this alive before; sitting on the back of a badass bike with a badass hottie, it was like a scene from a really cheesy romance novel- in short, it was perfect. I buried my head in his leather-clad shoulder and breathed in his foreign scent, this was everything I ever wanted, I could just feel that it was all going to be okay, I just wished that it would last. Levi smirked back at me from behind his visa and the bike roared into life, I never felt so free in my life, we could go wherever we wanted, just me and Levi and no-one else. Chapter End Notes In short. I'm a bitch, a total and utter bitch. I couldn't have asked for any more than all of you amazing people supporting this work, I've had so many comments and kudos and for someone who has never written a popular fanfic before this has really meant a lot to me. But I fucking wasted it all, what did I do instead?! I ignored this story for months and was seriously considering stopping writing it altogether, but you people really seem to care about it and in reality I care about it too. I hope you'll forgive this shit excuse of an author and I promise I'll finish this no matter what. It's the least I can do for you people, and if you're still reading this even though I left you for months may Marco come down from heaven and give you a big hug cause you're amazing. ***** Chapter 6 ***** Chapter Summary Levi takes Eren back to his apartment, and what starts off as a heated moment ends in despair... Warning: boy x boy this chapter, just teasing though but if you don't like then why are you even reading this fanfic?? Chapter Notes Have another chapter cause I'm nice like that ^.^ yay for two chapters a week! Lemme know what you think m'kay!? The engine of the bike spluttered and roared as we pulled into the private underground car park used by the residents of Levi's apartment block. He glided smoothly over to a free space that I guess must be reserved for him. I pulled my helmet roughly off my head leaving my hair in complete disarray but I didn't really care all that much; but Levi being the hottie he was managed to remove his helmet without messing up his hair at all, everything about him was perfect, and the seductive look he was throwing my way wasn't helping me stay calm and clean minded at all. "Avez-vous aimé que Jeager?" He drawled, pulling the words out as he dismounted the bike and pushed the stop down, removing the key from the ignition and slipping it into his pocket. His black leather jacket clung tightly to his body showing off how thin and well-shaped he was, and when he moved he swished his hips slightly making him even more alluring. "Venir" he grabbed at my left arm and pulled me into the shadows of the dimly lit car park, I nervously glanced around but there was no-one else around so I relaxed a little. Levi pushed me roughly up against the cold concrete wall, his eyes were shining dangerously in the light; he slid his tongue over his bottom lip and pushed my wrists above my head, "Vous êtes baises chaud" he tilted my head to the side with his free and and held it there, I shut my eyes as he reached up to gently suck at the pale skin of my neck under my ear. A shudder of pleasure shook through my spine, I had never felt so fucking good before in my life! Levi trailed down to suck and bite at my collar bone, a loud and involuntary moan escaped my parted lips and blushing furiously I looked away from him, throughly embarrassed by my reaction. "Vous aimez que hein, Jeager?" Levi released my wrists from his strong grip and grabbed at my hips, he closed the distance between us even more until our hips were grinding on each others as he attacked my neck again, I fisted his jet black hair in my hands and pulled his head up so that I could kiss him, he quickly took the lead and pressed his lips against mine with crushing force, pushing them open to slip his tongue inside my mouth. I moaned like a bitch in heat when he started grinding me up against the wall whilst shoving his tongue even deeper down my throat, a trail of drool escaped the corner of my mouth as I opened it wider to grant him full access. The loud noise of a car engine filtered through my hearing; I hurriedly pushed Levi away just as a black Jaguar pulled into the car park, "Plus tard, je vais vous apprendre comment Baiser français" Levi took my hand in his and we walked together out of the car park and practically ran to his apartment block, he quickly unlocked the main door and we thudded up the stairs eager to get some more alone time. Levi pulled the key out from around his neck and slid it into the lock, he opened the door and locked it behind us. "Allons" he approached me like a predator, an animalistic growl tore from his throat as he pushed me onto the coach, before I knew it, he was straddling me and grinding his leather-clad hips down into my lap. "F-Fuck" I whimpered, I was on fire, every part of my mind was on overdrive from the intense amount of pleasure Levi was giving me. "Shit Levi, oh god" I couldn't even speak properly, half spoken words came out alongside moans and pants, I wanted him, I wanted him so fucking bad. I reached up to pull down the zipper of his jacket, pulling it off his shoulders and throwing the leather onto the floor; I quickly grabbed at his black sweatshirt to remove that too when I was stopped abruptly by his strong hands pushing mine away. "Huh?" I felt confused and hurt, had I gone too far? "Ce n'est pas de votre faute," he looked away from my eyes into a dark corner of the room, "désolé Jeager, je ne sais pas quoi faire" he laughed a little half-heartedly. "Levi, is it something I did?" I didn't even know if he could understand me so I took his wrists in my hands as if to reassure him that I didn't mean it. He winced and pulled back almost as soon as I touched him, he jumped off the couch and backed away into the shadows of the room; I was starting to freak out, had I scared him off? Did he hate me now?! I couldn't bear the thought of Levi hating me, it sickened me to the core. "Levi, please! I'm sorry" I made my way over to where I thought he was, I reached out in front of me to prevent myself from tripping over something and hurting myself. "Arrêter!" I heard his voice commanding me, "ce n'est pas de votre faute... S'il vous plaît. Je vais vous dire quand je suis prêt" I heard him move and walk towards his bedroom, he shut the door behind him and I knew that was my que to leave. What had I done? I felt like I was going to be sick. I never felt so bad in my entire life, I bristled as I realised that for the second time that day I was crying, Levi managed to pull emotions out of me that no-one else could, and the thought of losing him was too much. I stumbled towards the door and fell, tripping over something that was laying unseen on the floor. Groaning a little, I pulled myself back up to my feet by grabbing what felt like the back of a chair, I moved my hand over slightly and something material brushed under my skin. Without even thinking I clenched the material in my hand and made for the door, I let myself out and slumped against the chipping wood, I looked down to see that I was holding a black hoodie; Levi's hoodie, the one I'd seen him wearing the first time I met him. Sniffling a little, I pulled the garment over my head, breathing in his familiar scent, I pulled the hood over my head and drew the strings to keep it close to me, I knew I was taking it without even asking, but if I was going to lose him, I didn't want to lose him completely. "Forgive me Levi, whatever I've done please forgive me" I muttered as I made my way out of the apartment block and walked down the empty street back to my house. ***** Chapter 7 ***** Chapter Summary Eren decides to go back home as Levi is not talking to him anymore... Little does he realise what danger he's in. Warning: domestic violence Chapter Notes As promised here's the chapter right on que and I've got half of the next already typed out for next Wednesday!! Hopefully I'm going to start updating twice a week. HOPEFULLY! Don't get your pants in a twist, sit back down! See the end of the chapter for more notes By the time I reached the shabby building that I was forced to call my home, I was mentally exhausted from the experience I had with Levi and didn't feel like doing much at all. I was worried about him. He didn't seem to have an issue with turning me on and grinding me senseless, but as soon as I reached to take off his shirt he backed away as if I'd burned him with my touch. It wasn't normal, and it was something that I was far too familiar with myself, it made me feel physically sick. Levi had only stopped when I wanted to take his shirt off; when I went for his wrists... There's no way he would, he couldn't be? I shook my head, I was being stupid and irrational, Levi was far more tolerant than I was, and so he would deal with difficult situations in a more patient and thoughtful way than I would. At some point on my way back home, I heavily debated whether or not I should just turn around and apologise to him for whatever it was I did, beg for him to open the door and kick it down if he didn't. I sighed angrily as I realised that I shouldn't pry into his life, I had only known him for the best part of a week and whatever demons he was fighting, if he was, it was none of my business. 'Yet that didn't stop me from allowing him to straddle me on a sofa and dry- hump me like a dog' a little voice in my head reminded me painfully. I gritted my teeth and stormed towards the front door, I banged on the wood aggressively until the man I call my father opened it with a disgruntled look on his face and reeking of heavy liqueur. "What the fuck are you doing back this early!?" He snapped, his alcohol ridden breath making me gag. I didn't want to hear his shit, not now, so I stormed on past him and marched up the stairs to my room. "I'm talking to you! You shitty brat! Get back here!" I zoned my hearing out, I didn't need this. I slammed my bedroom door shut behind me and threw myself onto my un-made bed, it hurt. It hurt my heart so badly I honestly believed it had been broken into pieces, I wanted Levi, I wanted him to know that I was sorry, that I needed him. With sickening horror I realised in that moment that I had fallen for my dark- haired boy somewhere along the way of wanting to know him better, it fucking hurt; both my pride and my soul. I grabbed at the shirt material above my heart, I finally understood what heartache was, it was the unbearable feeling of loneliness, and it felt just as real as any physical injury. I gasped into my pillow, wrapping my arms around the fabric and sobbing heavily into it, I wanted so desperately to be back in Levi's grip, to feel his hands pressing roughly into my hip bones. The seductive smile that played so beautifully across his lips had made my mouth run dry, the way he moaned my name between kisses and the warmth and weight of his body on top of mine made me hungry for his attention. I hadn't even realised up to this point that I had been touching myself, I blushed furiously at the realisation that I was jerking myself off to the image of Levi, but I honestly didn't care, it felt too good to stop. "Ugh, Levi~" I moaned his name, drawing out longer strokes with my hand causing me to shudder violently. I wanted to know what it would feel like to have his hands on my dick, that just turned me on even more. I was close to releasing so I hurriedly reached across to my bedside table to find something to cover my dick with to stop the mess from coating both myself and the sheets. I fumbled around frantically, but I couldn't find anything of use, my member was swelled painfully and I couldn't hold it back anymore. Groaning in defeat, I returned my attention to finishing; I increased the speed of my stokes to quicken it up, and with one final flash of Levi crossing my mind, I released the most powerful orgasm I'd ever experienced in my life and fell back onto the mattress, thoroughly drained from the activity. My sticky white body fluids were splattered all up my chest and I was certain I'd got some up the walls but I was too tired to move. "Eren!" My eyes widened as I realised that my father was still angered and wanted an explanation for my outburst when I returned home. I scrambled into a sitting position as I heard his heavy footsteps on the stairs, I briskly wiped the cum off the walls with my bed-sheets the best I could, but it left smear marks. I tried in vain, but there was nothing I could do about the smell of sex lingering over the room. "What do you think you're playing at boy? When I talk to you, you fucking answer me!" He forced his way into my room, letting the door crash into the wall and chipping some of the plasterboard. "F-Father I-" I scurried further back up my bed to put as much distance between him and I as I possibly could. "It stinks in here, what the hell have you been doing?!" I shook my head to try and fool him into believing that he was imaging things and that everything was normal and fine. My breathing was still erratic and I felt uncomfortable sitting in my soiled boxers but there was nothing I could do about that until he left. "Don't try that one on me, boy! You can't hide the truth from me, not now, not ever" those words scared me more than they ever should, what if he knew about Levi?! How could he know? I tried to calm myself down, this was nothing, it was the same as always; my father would storm into my room, demand something of me and then leave after hitting me a few times, I was prepared for it, I knew it would happen. "You're lying to me, you're keeping something behind my back" I shook my head furiously but kept my mouth tight shut, I didn't trust myself not to say anything. "Worthless shit" he made his way over to me. Instinctively, I held my knees tight into my chest and kept my head low, my father grabbed at my hair and pulled it roughly causing a gasp of pain to leave me, this wasn't like usual, he'd normally just hit me in the jaw a few times and leave; he was up to something different today and it scared me shitless. "I'll show you not to keep secrets from me" he smacked my head against the headboard of my bed, my eyesight blurred for a few moments and returned just in time for me to see his fist coming towards my face, a river of blood starting trickling down from my nose where he'd hit me. This was bad. This was fucking bad. A sadistic grin was plastered across his face, contorting his features horribly, this man was not my father, there was no way my mother would have married a man so evil and cruel. He reached forwards and wrapped his cold hands around my neck, putting pressure on my Adam's Apple and making me wretch and gasp for much needed oxygen. He was strangling me, my own father was fucking strangling me! He wouldn't kill me surely? There's no way he'd commit murder would he? But looking at the demonic expression on his face, I truly believed that I was close to death. With my last remaining strength I grasped at his hands and tried to pry them from around my neck. It was no use, he was far stronger than I was and with little oxygen left in me I could do nothing but choke on my own carbon dioxide and grimace as blackness took over my vision. Chapter End Notes Eren I'm so sorry T___T This story is about to get a whole lot angsty people!! Trust me you're in for a rocky ride if you decide to continue reading! (Yeah that's right girl, scare off what little readers you have...) ***** Chapter 8 ***** Chapter Summary Eren is being completely ignored by Levi to the point where he feels invisible... This affects his emotions and causes him to take drastic action. Chapter Notes For Kaze_mizu1:: This was meant to be uploaded on Wednesday but this impatient little shit* couldn't wait that long so I had to rush my ass off and hurry up finishing this chapter! I am so sorry if this foolish rushing jeopardised the quality of my writing! T___T *(you know I love you really Hun) See the end of the chapter for more notes I was falling, tumbling downwards through a sea of never-ending black. I screamed out for someone, anyone, to help rescue me from the inky prison... No-one came; I screamed out again and again thrashing out in a wild frenzy and kicking about my legs to move somewhere, anywhere. Dirty water flooded into my lungs, choking me into silence whilst panic burned in my soul; I shot a look at my surroundings with terror filled eyes, only to see nothing there... I cried out a name, his name, but he never came for me... He let me drown... He laughed as I died beneath him. I woke up from my nightmare by a powerful scream that was ripped from the back of my throat. Sheets of heavy sweat glued my shirt to my back and my hair to my forehead; I tried to calm myself down by slowly making my way over to the window and opening it as wide as it would go to let some chilly but crisp air into the room. I glanced anxiously at the digital clock by my bed to see that it was only 3: 25am and that now was really not a good time for me to be awake as it wouldn't be school for another five hours. A strangled yawn escaped me as if to prove a point as I dragged my sleep- deprived and still shaking form back into my sweat-soaked bedding. I was terrified at the idea of falling back asleep, I really wanted to avoid it at all costs. However the heavy and intoxicating feeling of unconsciousness crept back into my aching body and lulled me into the realm of dreams, and when I opened my eyes again, sunlight was streaming through the broken blind. I was relieved to know that I hadn't experienced anymore nightmarish terrors that night. For reasons unknown to me, I decided that I'd actually go to school that day. I grudgingly plodded dismally towards the bathroom sporting a terrible case of bed-head and an ugly purple bruise ringing my neck that was slowly darkening where I had been strangled the night before. "I might as well get this over with" I muttered grimly as I brushed my teeth and spat the residue back out into the sink, grimacing at the prospect of a school day without 'him' by my side. --- "Levi, please! Wait up!" I yelled as I made after him through the crowds of students making their way out of the main school entrance. I needed to get to him, I needed to apologise. I kept my eyes trained on the mop of neatly trimmed black hair and focused all my energy into keeping him in sight, it was more difficult than I had first anticipated due to the sheer amount of people between us that were blocking my view. I tried valiantly to catch up to him, but it was no use; he was a master of disappearing tricks and had long since left the school grounds when I finally broke out of the gates. --- I walked home in a defeated state of mind, had he purposefully been ignoring me? I had a flashback to the days events and felt a sting pierce through my chest, maybe he simply hadn't heard me? Maybe he just didn't know that I was looking for him... I knew it was all but hopeless ideals, several times that day I had passed him in the corridors and tried calling out to him, but instead of responding Levi had walked on with the same nonchalant and slightly bored expression that he seemed to have adopted; he walked past me as if I wasn't even there at all... I wanted to pretend like it didn't get to me. That for the next three days when he acted exactly the same that I wasn't breaking inside every time I called out his name or made eye-contact with him to which he looked at me the same way he did to every other stranger. I couldn't cope anymore after the fourth day of trying, something inside of me snapped leaving me cold and numb to any feelings at all. It scared me shitless, I was so fucking scared because I just couldn't feel anything... I sat in my bed, my legs underneath the covers with my back pressed against the cold wall listening to Green Day through my headphones; the melancholic music was doing nothing for my state of emotional blankness as I stared out into the room but saw nothing. It hurt me, I knew I should have given up by then, just let him go like anyone else would have. He hated me now didn't he? He hadn't even made an effort to acknowledge my presence, let alone distinguish me from any other stranger... I wanted to die. It hurt so fucking much, I swear to God I just wanted to curl up in a ball and fucking die. I felt the first tear leak from the corner of my eye and finally realised how desperate I was. That shook me to the core as somehow I'd managed to break through my state of emotional numbness and had found myself in some sort of condition to begin feeling things again. Good. Maybe I could finally let him go, but not that night, I still wasn't ready to take that step. I reached across through the dark and wrapped my slender fingers around the hilt of the knife on my bedside table. It was getting blunt due to recent overuse and tore ragged lines through my pale skin instead of the delicate thin ones it used to; I knew I should find a new weapon of self-torture, but something about the way I had to try harder to break the skin on my underarms and thighs due to it's increasing state of un-usefulness sparked a sadistic feeling off inside of me. I wanted it to hurt, I didn't want this to be easy. "Levi" I whimpered as I slid the blunt jagged edge over the skin of my left thigh. It didn't break the surface the first time so I pressed on harder and raked into it sharply; it fucking hurt, it hurt a lot! I gritted my teeth in agony and a huge swell of blood bigger than I had anticipated welled up and spilled over the welted skin. I'd never cut this deeply before, it felt... Good. I dragged the knife through my thigh over and over again until there was no more space left to cut, the lines crossed each other repeatedly, forming ugly patterns that weren't visible to me in the darkness of my bedroom. I began cutting the other thigh with an equal amount of vigour and self- loathing and soon I was sitting on my blood-soaked bed sheets with a strange and eery sensation of complete inner calm as sticky hot blood ran like waterfalls down my thighs and through the gap in my legs. "Maybe I really should just kill myself and be done with it" I tossed the knife away into the depths of the room and heard it thud dully on the carpet when it landed. I envisioned Levi for the thousandth time that night and whimpered as I tried to refrain from crying; he wasn't worth my tears, who was I fucking kidding? He was worth every tear I had left in me. "Levi please... Please" I choked through sobs wracking my entire body, "please, I love you" I grimaced as I realised that I'd spoken the big 'L' word aloud, but I didn't care anymore, "fuck it Levi! Fuck you! I fucking love you, you son-of-bitch" I pounded my fists repeatedly into my pillow as I continued to cry and scream in a fit of emotion, until in an exhausted mess I fell asleep at last and escaped the pain of being awake, my dreams were filled with dying that night. Chapter End Notes Oh good sweet lord please don't murder me! I can feel your will of my demise through the screen on my phone... It's gonna get worse still from here, I'm so so sorry!! (Honest I am) ***** Chapter 9 ***** Chapter Summary Eren has become so frail that he decides to face his demons and go and pay Levi a visit... Part 1 of 2 Warning: Next chapter will start with heavy ideologically sensitive material (rape) Chapter Notes This chapter is so long I need to split it in half! ~ I felt throughly drained when I woke up from my umpteenth nightmare violently shaking and with hot tears streaking down my flushed cheeks. I hadn't been sleeping well since my initial nightmare. The dreams were all the same; I'd be drowning in water or sometimes blood whilst Levi's cold and cruel figure stood smirking down at me through the invisible barrier spreading us, I needed him more than I'd ever care to admit with every passing day, and it was making me physically ill. I threw the damp covers off my sweat-soaked body and hurled myself headlong into the bathroom, cursing weakly as I disposed of whatever little I had consumed that day back out into the toilet. I gripped the seat with as much strength as I could to stop myself from fainting to the side and hitting my head on the bathtub, injuring myself. I hated this, I hated what he could do to me; how by ignoring me for the best part of a week he could conform me into an intense mess of feverish illness and emotional turmoil. "F-fuck you L-Levi" I groaned as I limply shrank onto the tiled bathroom floor. My whole body hurt like I was constantly being burned and my rib cage was trapped in perpetual aching from the convulsing motion of bringing up hot bile every few hours. I'd had also formed a bad habit of scratching my arms when I cried, re-opening many of my scars from past cutting sessions; my arms had swelled up with several red sores from the irritation of my nails dragging over my skin. Life was at rock bottom for me, my school grades had slipped from F's to U's within a week and I had lost any and all friends I had because I simply couldn't hold a conversation with anyone anymore; looking at people scared me, being close to people scared me more. What if they hurt me too? What if they stabbed me in the back as well? Yet even throughout all of this I still loved Levi. I knew he'd be returning to France soon as his transfer was always temporary and then he'd be out of my life forever. Gone. But he wouldn't really be gone, I'd never stop thinking about him, I wondered if he thought about me? I shook my head in disgust as I sat on the cold tiles realising I was still contemplating Levi even though he was the cause of all my pain. Goddamit! I pulled myself off the floor by grabbing onto the edge of the tub and pushing myself into an upright position; my arms shook under the strain and I staggered back through the open door collapsing on my bed not long after. I couldn't even move properly, I felt sick, my head was spinning; I wanted to get back up and wretch some more but I was too weak to move let alone run back into the bathroom so I lay there pathetically crying into my mattress and prayed that sleep would come for me soon. --- I woke up at 6:05 the next morning, a stabbing pain in my side caused me to gasp and grab at it feebly to try and stop the agony. My head soon caught up with me giving me a horrific migraine almost instantly, my ribcage ached so damn much that I wanted to cry because it seemed like crying was all I could do lately. "F-fuck..." I moaned as I threw my top half over the side of the bed and promptly vomited on the carpet. I wanted to die, I'd had the flu before but it was nothing like this; nothing could ever compare to a mixture of stress, misery and a broken heart. I knew I was in no state to leave the house, but I wanted to. I was filled with the burning desire to go to school and see that it was all just a bad dream and that Levi still cared about me. It was a false hope but I wanted to cling onto it until the end, until my fingers broke and bled from gripping on so tightly. I tried to shift myself upright into a sitting position but my eyes hazed over and a sharp pain in the side of my head sent me unconscious within seconds. It was the same dream again, always the same fucking dream... Apart from lately the dreams had words, and those words were so cruel that I woke up crying. I sank down into the murky black waters, choking and screaming for someone; Levi was there standing above me and looking down through the barrier as if he enjoyed seeing me cry, he looked almost... Bored and it hurt me even more that he just didn't care enough to even bother reacting to me. "Die. Jeager" I heard his voice ring out clearly around me, he spat it out in French but for some reason I could understand it. I wanted to wake up, I needed to wake up... I screamed again and again until my lungs were burning from the strain, I couldn't wake up! I was trapped in this nightmare! I panicked and thrashed about wildly trying to put an end to my torment but it was no use, I was stuck inside my own terrifying imaginings. "LEVI!!!" I lurched forwards and instantly grabbed at my head as a ringing noise sounded in my ears accompanied by a mind-splitting pain in my temples. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks but they didn't bother me anymore, I'd cried myself awake and asleep so many times recently that the reflex was almost second nature to me. "Levi..." I spoke more gently, gazing out of the window to see that the sky had turned dark, I had been asleep for the entire day. It was in that moment that I decided to go and see Levi. I was going to confront him face-to-face and ask him what the fuck was going on. I needed to hear him say it, to hear the "it's over" directly from his mouth. I bit my lip drawing blood as I realised it never even started to begin with; it was a one-off fling in a car park and nothing more, just a make-out session, so how could it 'be over' if it never even existed? I bit back a scream of emotional pain and pulled my sneakers on and a black hoodie over the top of my T-shirt. I made my way soundlessly downstairs to see that my father was out cold in the sitting room, snoring loudly, draped over the couch with an empty beer bottle in his hand and several more surrounding the couch strewn all over the floor. I spat in disgust at him and marched out of the front door pulling it shut quietly behind me so as not to wake him and alert him that I had left. I gazed up distantly at the cool black sky, stars were littered like icy freckles across the deep purple canvas and the streets were un-nervingly vacant of people sending shudders down my spine; I didn't like peaceful nights, they were a warning that danger was lurking in the shadows waiting to grab me by the throat. I made it to Levi's apartment block at about 1:30am and raised my fist to knock harshly on the wooden door. I knocked several times but no-one answered so frustratedly I started to kick and shake the door until I heard someone cussing and yelling the other side. The sound of unlocking was heard and the door opened suddenly to release a blast of stale air into my face. "Who the fuck are you?" A rough looking man barked, progressively getting angrier at the thought of being woken from sleep at almost 2 in the morning by a teenage hoodie. "I'm here to see Levi" I pushed past him, knocking him out of my way as I marched up the stairs. "Fucking brat" I heard him grumble under his breath, I don't know if I was directed at me or at Levi, but at that moment I didn't really care, I was fixated solely on reaching my dark-haired boy's apartment so I could call him out to face me at last. "Levi!!" I rapped on the door, I didn't hear any signs of life emitting from the other side but I knew that he was there. "Levi please!! It's me, Eren" I mentally kicked myself, of course it was me, who else would it be? I was the only other person my age who knew where he lived, and not only that but I was positive my voice wasn't all that hard to recognise. "Levi? Please let me in, please" I slumped against the chipped wood and tucked my head into my knees crying softly into the fabric of my jeans. "... Please... Please" I rocked backwards and forwards until I couldn't hold back the racking sobs anymore, "Goddamit Levi! Please!" A door was heard slamming open from further within the building, "Shut the fuck up!" A shrilly-voiced woman yelled down the corridor and soon more doors were heard opening as more residents joined in the rage at telling both me and each other to shut up and fuck off. Defeatedly I stood up and gazed back at the door one final time with my palm pressed against the surface before I slowly headed back down the creaky old stairs. The man from before had left to go back to his room so I saw myself out. "Levi..." I sighed his name into the wind as I made to walk back home. "Hey there cutie" I was stopped by a deep masculine voice calling from somewhere behind me. 'Keep walking' I thought, clenching my sweating fists and quickening my pace, 'he's not talking to you, it's someone else, it's someone else' I swallowed thickly as I heard another voice join in. "I don't think he heard us" I turned my head to look back fleetingly, that one stupid fucking motion cost me more than I could ever know. "Oh no, I think he heard us" I felt a heavy impact hit my head and my vision faded out... ***** Chapter 10 ***** Chapter Summary Eren is cornered by the two men and dragged down into what appears to be the private car park owned by Levi's apartment block. Part 2 of 2 Warnings: Rape Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes I felt limp and my senses were dulled as if I couldn't control my own actions. 'Where... Am I?' I wondered as I tried to open my heavy eyelids, I slid them open a crack and a dim yellow light filtered in slowly until my vision returned to a normal level. "Wha-?" I groaned as an aching pain streaked through my head, I reached up and grabbed at my hair to try and numb the pain a little. "You've come too, I see" the same voice from before sounded out from somewhere deep within the shadows. I looked about me and realised with horror that I was in the same private car park that belonged to the residents of Levi's apartment block. "You're probably confused as to why you here, no?" The man stepped forwards and the dim light shone on his sharp features; he looked to be around the age of thirty or more, a tall man with defined features and a sturdy frame. "He's a young one" another voice echoed as another man with dark black hair walked forwards to join the first. "You need to be a good boy for us okay? Just stay still and you'll be fine" the taller man slid his tongue across his top teeth and made his way confidently towards me. I suddenly panicked and scurried backwards until my back hit the cold concrete wall. "He looks like he has a bit of fight in him Cade" the dark haired man laughed amusedly. "Hmmm, I'll soon break him in" It was then that everything clicked into place. He was going to do horrible things to me that I never wished to go through again, the things that my father forced me to do for others. I didn't know whether to submit and just let it happen or whether to put up a fight and go down swinging. 'You've got to fight to live! You've got to fight to survive! Fight!' A voice from deep within me cried. "Hyyyyaaahh!" I roared animalistic-ally and lunged at the tall man crouching down before me, "What the-?!" He jumped back in surprise, but he soon recovered from the initial shock. I was still weak from only just coming round, but I wasn't going down without a fight! I was fucking sick of being used as someone else's plaything. "He's going to be a fun one~" the raven had disappeared back into the shadows and stood leaning against a pillar to view the scene. "Damn bastards!" I yelled as I swiped a heavy blow at the man named Cade, it hit him squarely in the chest and he let out a hollow 'whumph' sound, but it didn't seem to affect him all that greatly; instead he chuckled lowly and pushed me against the wall with more force than I had first anticipated. "Shut up ignorant brat" he pinned my hands down by my sides under his stronger grip and I cried out desperately as a last resort and prayed someone would hear me passing by in the street above. "Nice try kid, but we're too far underground for that trick to work" the dark haired man jeered, "You can shut-up too Leyne" Cade barked out, causing the other man to shrink further back, "No need to be so rude" he uttered and remained silent. "What the fuck do you sickos want?!" I yelled gritting my teeth and letting out a low growl to make myself look tougher, I was on the defensive now and I was going to protect myself at all costs, I could not let this happen, I would not let this happen. "Oh you'll enjoy it, just sit back and relax kid" Cade advanced on me once more and pushed his knee roughly between my legs, "Ahh~" I bit my bottom lip in self-disgust, I had been trained by my father to let out such lewd noises regardless of whether or not I actually enjoyed it to give the customer a better experience. 'Dammit Eren! Don't lose it' I mentally cussed and tried to regain my composure, a faint blush tinting my cheeks. "Looks like he enjoys it more than he's letting on" Leyne approached us and kneeled down beside Cade. "Let's do this then hmm?" He looked at Cade for approval who nodded silently and then it began. I was bombard with several different sensations at once as Cade got to work jamming his knee painfully against my crotch as Leyne skilfully whipped my hoodie and T-shirt off in one go. "Looks like he's an Emo bitch" Leyne licked his lips in a disgusting manner as he inspected my scar-littered arms and grossly thin waistline. Cade slid his hands all over my stomach making me convulse at the thought of being touched without any reserve, this wasn't at all like Levi's touch, I felt like I was going to throw up. The talking stopped abruptly, a thick piece of material was fastened over my eyes blocking out the light and putting me in a sense of insecurity that made me shiver, another strip of material was yanked between my teeth and fastened tightly behind my head. I cried out but all sound was muffled due to the gag, hot tears leaked out from under the blindfold as I cried out pathetically from the stress of the situation. "Don't cry cutie" something hot and wet slid underneath the edge of the blindfold, I knew immediately it was a tongue and tried to protest. "Tie him" Something corse and strong was used to bind my wrists together behind my back, it felt scarily like rope and cut welts into my wrists every time that I resisted its hold. "Good let's begin then, shall we?~" My legs were forced apart by a strong pair of hands and gripped at my ankles tightly whilst another pair of hands worked at removing my belt skilfully and pulling down my trousers until they were down around my ankles. I didn't want to know how much of a damn exorbishionist I looked, with drool leaking out in a trail from the corner of my open mouth with my bare chest writhing and my legs spread out wide for the world to see my private area. "Beautiful" I heard one of the men chuckle and my boxers were gone. The cold air hit my member making me shudder and I tried to clamp my legs back together to retain some of the heat but the strong hands remained clenched around my ankles and kept my legs wide open. A large hand was gripping my member within seconds, pumping it into hardness; I started crying again, I didn't want this, to be so weak that I couldn't even stop what was happening to me. "How does it feel kid? How does it feel being raped?" A cold voice pierced my hearing. I shook my head weakly, I wanted to fight back, I wanted to overcome them, but I couldn't... I just couldn't do it... So I gave in to them. My body relaxed and I stopped trying to push vainly against the hands around my ankles, "Good boy" a low voice sounded near my ear and a slick tongue ran across my cheek and down to my neck sucking on the skin over my collar bone. The hand on my member pumped steadily and I threw my head back, involuntarily bucking upwards into the motion. Just as I was getting used to the sensation, a firm grip tweaked my nipple sharply making me jerk forwards, I tried to back away into the wall and pressed my back up against it, finding some comfort in the solidness behind me. The hand was removed from my length and a few minutes later a wet popping sound was heard and several slick fingers slid against my ass. This was it, he was really going to do it. I tried to relax to cause myself to suffer less pain then I needed to endure, but I was terrified, it was so much worse when I had no control over the situation. A long, thin finger slid into me and pressed against my tight walls, it was shortly joined with a second. The man started scissoring me roughly, stretching me out and adding a third finger. It fucking hurt, I bit down on the gag, for the first time grateful that it was there. The fingers thrust into me in a harsh but steady motion until my insides were slick and coated with spit. "He's ready" a voice sounded, the fingers were pulled out quickly; too quickly, it burned my insides like fire, this was different to what I was accustomed too; when prostituting myself, my customers would treat me with a basic level of respect and would try to avoid causing me unnecessary pain; these men didn't give a fuck, they were ruthlessly taking from me what wasn't theirs to take. Something large and hard rubbed against my loosened hole and it didn't take a second for me to realise that it was a dick, and a large one at that. It was slammed inside me before I even had time to think. "Gahhh!" I screamed out, my cry muffled by the gag. He thrust into me mercilessly, pounding my insides and making them burn with every motion. He came inside me not long after, filling me with his hot seed and pulled out, but just when I thought it was finally over my hole was filled with another length. Thankfully it was smaller than the last one, but the power behind this man's thrusts easily outmatched the other's. he penetrated deep within me and I felt something tear followed by a hot trickling flowing out of me. "Shit! You fucking idiot! You ripped him open!" The member was removed from within me quickly, "Let's get out of here!" I heard one of them yell frantically, there was the sound of rapid footfall and soon they were gone. I curled up into a ball and let the tears roll down my stained cheeks. I was so humiliated, I wanted to never regain consciousness once I lost it. I was starting to drift away when I heard the sound of footsteps approaching me, 'No! Please don't let them be coming back! Please!' I flinched inwardly and began to shake violently. "Jeager?" A cool voice with a sickly beautiful accent called out. It was Levi. It was motherfucking Levi. My heart soared and then plummeted, Levi was seeing me as I truly was, nothing but a lowly whore to be used to pleasure others. Tears began to pour out of my closed eyes and I hiccuped as a pair of strong arms lifted me off the cold concrete ground. "Oh Jeager" I fell into unconsciousness. Chapter End Notes This was totally boring wasn't it? T___T I've never really written smut before... It was too long and boring! And for that I am sorry. ＿|￣|○ ***** Chapter 11 ***** Chapter Summary Eren wakes up sitting outside his house and wearing attire that certainly does NOT belong to him. Warnings: .Smut up ahead! .Levi being an absolute asshole Chapter Notes Have a super long chapter cause I can~ Hee hee, Eren's being a Pervy boy this chapter :P See the end of the chapter for more notes A faint sound of birdsong flitted through my half-deaf ears as I slowly regained consciousness. I felt funny in a weird way and my whole body ached like it never had before; every part of me burned and I couldn't move my legs properly. "Ow-" I winced as I tried to sit up straight. 'Where... Am I?' the bright morning sunlight was streaming down on my abused body, and I realised that I was sitting outside my house with my back pressed against a brick wall. I couldn't remember much about the events from the previous night at first, but soon it all came back to me. "Levi!" I yelled frantically trying to spot my dark-haired beauty nearby. He must have found me last night, brought me back home and left me here; I wanted to cry my heart out and scream until I realised something... My ass didn't hurt anywhere near as much as it should have, considering I got ripped open, and I didn't have any blood down there as far as I could tell without actually taking a look for myself. I was also dressed in clothes which weren't mine, I was wearing a heavy black leather biker jacket that smelt foreign and pleasant, but was scented with Levi's cologne comforting me as I nuzzled my face down into the familiar material. I was covered with a green blanket of some description, he'd probably thought that I'd freeze to death if left out in the cold without anything to protect me from the elements. My hoodie was no-where to be seen, and I was pretty sure that the jeans I was wearing weren't my own, they just felt too tight. I pulled the blanket off my lower body and flushed darkly as I saw Levi had dressed me in leather pants, I felt extremely exposed but at the same time it filled me with an endearing feeling wearing such tight-fitting risky clothing. I stood up and flexed my back, hearing my spinal cord clicking in protest to the action; I pressed a hand into the small of my back and turned to walk up to the front door. I was about to knock on it but I changed my mind and made my way 'round the back of the house and climbed over the metal gate. Just as I thought! I had left the bathroom window open! I grabbed onto the wooden terrace with ivy entwined into the lattice, and scaled the wall before swinging my leg over the top of the sill and throwing myself in through the opening head-first. Damn! I hope my father didn't realise I was gone, all I could do was try and calm down my erratic heartbeat and make my way into my neighbouring bedroom. I wasn't late for school I soon discovered and felt a little excited, as that meant I could confront Levi about what happened; butterflies danced in my stomach and I felt sick but I breathed in deeply and walked further into my bedroom until I was facing where I thought was a window. I groped around in the darkness for a few moments until my hands closed around thick pieces of material, and I pulled the black curtains for the first time in about four years. Dust clouds swirled angrily about me causing me to cough violently until the dust settled again, and I strode across my dirty carpet until I was facing my floor length mirror. I looked... Surprisingly sexy. Levi's jacket clung to me in all the right places, flaunting my skinny waist perfectly. I felt a rush tingle through me as I unzipped the leather thinking about all the times Levi had worn this same jacket; touching it with his hands, hands that he touched other places of his body with... I blushed and laughed shamelessly to myself at the blatant perving I was committing. When I had unzipped the jacket fully I pulled it back to see that I was wearing a black T-shirt with French writing elegantly looped in white font across my chest, positioned under a pair of outspread angel wings printed above it. The leather pants squeezed the life out of me, they were definitely one size too small in the legs but with high top army boots it wouldn't be all-that noticeable. I suddenly remembered with horror that I had been stark naked when Levi had found me, and I was sure that I was wearing boxers now. Already blushing from the dangerous thoughts coursing through my head I pulled the top edge of the pants away and saw the red and black band indicating a pair of Calvin Klein boxers that certainly were not mine. Oh god. I think I died and went to heaven right then and there when I knew I was wearing Levi's boxers. His fucking underwear that his motherfucking dick had touched were wrapped around my lower section. I ran my hands shamelessly up and down my body, taking in the feeling of Levi's clothes moving against my skin. The only item of clothing remaining that was mine were my shabby black converse sneakers. I kicked them off roughly and routed through the bottom of my closet until I fished out my high-top chunky black army boots. I strapped them to my feet and clunked into the bathroom to apply my makeup. Heavy eyeliner was added and white powder to pale my face, I decided to smoke my eyes like Levi did and added various shades of grey and silver eyeshadow above and below my lids to draw attention to my vibrant green irises. To finish the look I fastened a heavy leather choker around my thin neck with a thin silver disk fastened onto a ring at the front with my name engraved into it in elegant writing. I took one more look at myself in the mirror and satisfied that I looked sexy for once, grabbed my school satchel and made for the front door. I was going to shock everyone at school today, including Levi. The guy should know better than to clothe me in practically a stripper outfit and expect me not to strut into school the next day wearing this shit. The sound of leather moving over leather creaked as I walked down the sidewalk. I earned several curious looks from middle-aged couples, a few disgusted ones, mostly directed at me from old people, and more than a couple of perverted stares; but I paid no attention to their looks and headed straight for the school gates. --- "Oh my god, have you seen what he's wearing?" I hummed contentedly to myself as I heard a feminine voice giggle excitedly from somewhere close behind me. "I think everyone's seen what he's wearing babe, hard to miss it" a second voice cooed in response. The girls laughed once more, turned and started walking further down the corridor; their heels clicking on the tile as they tried to escape the oncoming crowd of people approaching from the opposite direction. "Well, if it isn't Jeager. You look like a emo-fag as usual, but it looks like you upped your game today" I turned to face a stocky looking brunette who I quickly recognised to be one of my main offenders and smirked, in a strange way he was complimenting me. "Why thanks," I drawled, he was caught off-guard by my sudden attitude change, and it was written all over his face; I was not about to let this opportunity go to waste. "You want'a fight Jeager?" He clenched his fist, his friends jeered behind him, egging him on. "Fight me bitch" I spat and cracked my knuckles simultaneously before lunging for his face. I felt like a changed person in these outlandish clothes, now I realised what a kick Levi got from wearing this shit; it gave a guy lott'a confidence wearing this sort of attire. "Shit! Little twat's goin' for ya today!" One of the spectators laughed raucously as I narrowly missed my harasser's jaw. "Fuck off Jeager!" I heard him growl lowly. He looked more-than-ready to swing back at me, but glancing up we could both see the French teacher walking towards us giving us a warning glance, making the gathered crowd disperse. I was about to walk away too when I was stopped by her voice calling my name. "Eren? That's a- uh...an interesting choice of attire you've got on today" I felt like being snarky for some reason, "Why thanks miss, glad you noticed it, not like you could miss me according to everyone else" She looked a little disgruntled but continued none-the-less, "I was only commenting on it because I noticed that the writing on your shirt translates to 'bite me bitch' and I was just wondering if you realised that." She breathed in deeply before continuing, "I don't think it's really an appropriate T-shirt to be wearing around school" I flushed a little at finding out what the words meant, but thinking of a quick come-back I chortled, "Well, what do you want me to do? Take it off?!" Miss rolled her eyes in exasperation, her patience worn out, and huffed before walking away from me after informing me that I was late for next period. "That's what I thought, bitch" I smirked and headed down the corridor when I spotted a short figure wandering alone. His head was angled to the floor and he was staring intently at his canvas sneakers; I instantly recognised him to be Levi. 'Now's my chance to talk to him!' My heart lurched unpleasantly out of my chest as I made my way over to him, I fought the urge to turn and leave but somehow approached him with a decent level of confidence. "Oi! Levi!" He turned around sharply at the sound of his name being called. "Jeager" my name left his thin lips with no hint of emotion, although, he was looking me up and down like he could eat me. 'Oh fuck, hello boner' I tried to remain confident even though my lower region was losing control rapidly. "..." Levi grabbed me roughly by the sleeve of my leather jacket and frogmarched me down the corridor behind him. I tried to calm down both my erratically beating heart and also my raging hard- on, but all that was lost immediately when I saw we were headed directly for the boy's toilets. 'Fuck! He's either gonna kill me or rape me' was the first thing I thought. I broke out into a nervous sweat as Levi pushed me in through the door. There were no other students in the toilets so I was shoved into the empty cubicle at the end of the row that was infamous for being used as a fucking stall, with Levi following close behind. "F-fuck" I stuttered as Levi spun me 'round and threw me into the wall; graffiti was scribbled across the plastic red in Sharpie, mostly telling me to 'go kill myself' but I didn't give a shit. Levi was behind me in a second. His hands slipped under the tight jacket material and teasingly trailed across my abs making me moan in discomfort. "Just do it!" I bit my bottom lip to hold back a needy moan. Levi snickered behind me, his hand lazed across my torso for a few moments until his slender fingers were pulling down the zip of the jacket. "Je pourrais juste vous manger Jeager" I shuddered involuntarily as something hot and wet trailed seductively across the shell of my ear, his tongue was turning me on even more as I thought of all the dirty things he could do to me. My jacket was pulled open and Levi's hands were under my shirt once more, this time he had easy access to my body and his fingers tightly pinched my nipples eliciting a sweet sound that I had never made before to slip past my trembling lips. I was too hard. I was painfully hard, and the tight leather constricted my boner not allowing it to grow any larger. "P-please, L-Levi" I rested my sweaty forehead on my crossed arms only to be yanked back roughly by a strong fist tangled in my hair. My head was pulled back sharply whilst Levi moved forwards to press against my back; he whispered what sounded like sweet-nothings in French into my ear whilst he trailed his tongue up the underside of my neck making me shudder. That's when I felt it. Levi was pressing his crotch against me, and it felt like his dick was trying to say hello to me as well. I bit down harder on my lip, breaking the skin, and bucked backwards to rub against his boner giving him the hint that I wanted him. He hummed in amusement and pushed me forwards roughly, slamming my face into the wall and holding it there whilst he drove his hips deep into my ass. It felt so fucking good, I wanted to scream, but Levi seemed to understand my intentions and his hand was covering my mouth in an instant. "Chut Jeager, ou nous devrons arrêter de jouer maintenant" he blew a puff of hot air into my ear making my legs buckle under me. I fell to the floor in a heap and Levi came down with me; he quickly regained control over the situation and pushed me up firmly against the wall, he was straddling me in seconds, grinding his hips down in a slow and purposeful movement drawing breathy pants from my aching ribs. "Ugh, Levi~" I rested my head on his shoulder, drooling into the fabric as he increased the speed of his movements. I didn't even notice as his hand slipped below my waistband and down into my boxers, that was until his cool hand was wrapped around my leaking member and started pumping it. "N-no! Oh my god! Ahhhh~" I blushed furiously and thew my head back to rest it on the wall, a trail of saliva ran out of the corner of my mouth. I was close! I was- "Levi!!!" I screamed as I spasmed and came hard inside his fist, jetting out the most powerful orgasm I had ever had. "Brut" Levi licked my cum off his hand, the sight alone would have made me hard again, but I was throughly spent and exhausted from the hand-job so I just watched transfixed as he cleaned himself up. "Levi...?" I panted as he got up off the floor and left me alone in the cubicle, sitting on the soiled floor with my penis hanging out and legs spread open like a whore. "Where're you goin'?" I finished, but my dark-haired boy had already gone. 'Why the fuck is he doing this to me? Why is he messing around with my feelings and my body and then leaving me?!' I cried into my clenched hands and put my dick back in my trousers, grabbed the jacket and zipped it back up, and then left the bathroom to go home. I didn't feel like going back to lessons... Not after I'd been used by that bastard again. It hurt, it really did. I honestly thought he cared, for one damn fucking second I thought he cared about me. But I looks like I was wrong. I was pissed, more pissed than I had ever been before, and I needed release. "I'm fucking done with your shit Levi, this is it, I'm fucking done!" I screamed as I tore down the sidewalk. I was going to finish this once and for all. It would end tonight. Chapter End Notes Remember there's a comment box at the bottom!! It's nice to know why you enjoy/don't enjoy this piece a' shit that I continue to write!! Please lemme know what you think about it!! ***** Chapter 12 ***** Chapter Summary Eren attempts to take his own life... Warnings: .Attempted Suicide .Vomit Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes I sat in front of my bedroom desk for about twenty minutes just deciding what I was going to write. I didn't have a clue how I was going to do it, but for some strange reason, I knew I'd feel guilty if I didn't tell Levi about what I was planning. "Goddamit!" I yelled aggressively and tore up yet another piece of paper, writing this shit was a lot harder than it looked. "Fuck it! It's not like it matters anyway" I growled lowly and brought my pen back to the blue-lined paper spread out before me. 'Hey Levi, I'm just letting you know that I'm going to kill myself. You seriously fucked up my life you prick, but I love you. - Eren' I sighed at how badly translated my raging sadness and anger had been scripted, 'It doesn't even fucking matter anymore' I slipped the paper inside of an empty envelope I had found after routing through my desk drawer, I wrote Levi's name across the front in my messy scrawl and sealed it. I didn't know what to do then, I was scared shitless. I was scared at the realisation that I really was going do this; I was tired of this shit and I needed to be free. I felt tears leaking out of the corners of my eyes and bit my bottom lip to stop a whimper from escaping. I looked around my room vaguely to see what was available to me: My knife, I could slit my throat but I don't think I really had the guts. I could try and hang myself but for one it wasn't always successful and for another how would I run all the way to Levi's to give him the letter and then run all the way back without him noticing anything at all... Then again he didn't give a fuck about me, but the risk still wasn't worth taking. That's when I remembered I had an extensive stash of pills in my bathroom cabinet, mostly paracetamol for pain relief after I had been 'working'. I pushed myself out of the old creaky chair and walked into the bathroom; my shaky hand reached up to grab the metal handle of the cabinet door and I pulled it open to reveal the contents. There were two whole packets of un-opened paracetamol and a small jar of ibuprofen. That should do it, there was over thirty pills within my reach. I breathed in deeply and took the empty ceramic mug from beside the sink and ran cold water in it before grabbing the packets of pills and the jar, and made my way back into my room to sit on the bed. "Here's to nothing" I raised the mug and cracked the round tablets out of their cases, I looked at them all nestled in the palm of my hand; there was no going back, I didn't want to go back. I had found myself in a state of complete emotional numbness, I wasn't upset neither was I angry, I was just. Existing. I placed the tablets down on my bedside table and picked them up one-by-one to put them in my mouth before swigging more water to swallow them down. At the tenth pill I started retching, but I kept taking them until I had swallowed nineteen by which point I couldn't handle it anymore. I took the envelope from the desk and opened the front door, looking back one last time before sprinting down the sidewalk in the heavily falling rain. I reached Levi's apartment less than fifteen minutes later and knocked rapidly on the main door for someone to let me in; a fairly old and kind looking woman appeared, smiling and asking me what I needed. I pushed past her roughly and stumbled groggily up the stairs, I made it to Levi's door and knelt down to slide the letter through the gap before the door touched the wooden floorboards. I felt like absolute shit by that point and decided to move before I died right in front of his apartment. The old woman was still there when I reached the bottom of the stairs; she informed me that I looked absolutely awful and I should go home and get some rest. I laughed dryly and exited back out into the rain. I knew I wouldn't be able to make it back to my house so I went down into the underground car park. My eyesight was quickly failing me and my breathing was extremely laboured, my head hurt so damn much and I could hear my heartbeat pounding loudly inside my skull. I spotted Levi's motorcycle through my fading vision and stumbled blindly towards, I collapsed on the concrete and rested my back against the heavy metal vehicle. "I'm sorry" I cried pathetically and shut my eyes waiting for the end. --- "JEAGER!!" I felt my entire being floating away from my body before a sharp stinging pain hit me across the cheek. "Réveillez-vous! S'IL VOUS PLAÎT!" The shouting sounded distant yet close by at the same time and it throughly annoyed me. I felt my body being lifted as I was slung over someone's shoulder. "Ne me laisse pas, reste avec moi" I opened my sore eyes to a mortified Levi. Tears were streaking down his face uncontrollably and he was hiccuping slightly from stress. 'Shit, I didn't want this, this wasn't supposed to happen' I felt my head loll back on my shoulders, I couldn't keep it together. I was brought back into reality by a painful sensation in my throat and realised in horror that it was Levi jamming his fingers harshly down my throat. "Venez sur Eren, tu dois jeter" he looked beyond panicked, like he had never been so terrified before in his life. "Pour l'amour de baise! Vomir!" He yelled and smacked me across the back whilst pressing his fingers in further; I retched and threw myself forwards; Levi wrapped his hands tightly around my waist to stop me from hitting my head on the floor, whist I vomited all over his bathroom floor. He spoke soothingly to me in French and rubbed my back whilst I threw up over and over again. "Oh mon dieu" he choked on his tears and ran a shaking hand down my cheek, "oh putain-" he pulled me close to him and dug his bony fingers into the back of my hoodie, "Ne pas jamais-" my shirt was becoming damp from his tears and I realised that I was crying too, "putain enfer" he sounded completely drained, and I wrapped my arms around him as tightly as I could through my drug-induced state. "Je pensais que vous alliez mourir Eren, Je pensais t'avoir perdu" I didn't understand what was going on, why was Levi crying over me? He hated me didn't he?and why was he calling me by my first name instead of the usual 'Jeager'? "Je suis un putain de connard, pardonnez-moi, Eren" he pulled away and looked up into my tear-filled eyes; I cringed inwardly at how pain-stricken he looked, I could see straight into his soul and it fucking hurt; it hurt to see him so open and vulnerable. "Je t'aime" he brought his lips up to meet mine in a gentle kiss, I breathed him in deeply and was about to open my mouth for him when he shocked me throughly and opened his for me instead. I didn't know how to react to him so he slid his tongue into my mouth and coaxed mine out into his mouth. I realised in that moment just how much I'd scared him, I'd frightened him into a state of total submission. "Je t'aime, Levi" I spoke softly, the French sounded strange and broken in my awful accent but it was enough to make Levi start crying again, and he pulled me forwards by my hair to kiss him again. We stayed like that for what felt like hours, and it probably was. Just whispering quiet "I love you's" to each other and gently kissing. I was grateful that I hadn't succeeded in my suicide, I couldn't have died peacefully knowing I'd left Levi behind broken and alone. "Promettez-moi que vous ne ferez pas cela à nouveau" I didn't really understand him but I got the message, I nodded and kissed him on the forehead. "I'm sorry" I pulled him in closer to me until he was sitting on my lap with his legs either side of mine staring up into my eyes. A small smile flitted across his features and in that moment he looked more beautiful than I had ever seen him before. I thought to myself with a smile that matched his, 'What a beautiful day to be alive'. Chapter End Notes Oh how I enjoy ripping out your hearts and crushing them under my feet whilst I dance to Asian pop music... On a serious note guys. Armour Noir is fast approaching the end. I'd say I've only got about three or four chapters left until the end! T___T Thanks to all of you who've been reading and to my followers. And although this hasn't actually been as successful as I'd hoped it would be, it's been fun(?) to write and great for my narrative writing practise. ***** Chapter 13 ***** Chapter Summary Eren wakes up in heaven but the day ends on a low. Chapter Notes See the end of the chapter for notes I sighed into Levi's bedsheets in utter content as I held his slim form in between my arms. He mumbled incoherent nonsense under his breath as I shuffled slightly to glimpse briefly at the digital clock on his bed-side table. "Shit" I groaned in dismay as I read that it was just past midnight, "Um, Levi?" I nudged his cheek tenderly with my nose drawing a half-assed chuckle out of him as he swatted me away. "Oui?" He turned his head stiffly to look into my eyes, "I have to go now okay? I have to get home" A fleeting look of sadness sailed across his perfect features as the realisation of what I had told him became apparent. "I have to go" I reiterated my point in case he didn't quite understand, "S'il vous plaît ne pas aller..." the desperateness with which he spoke wrenched at my heart and made me almost rethink my actions; however, I had to go, I really didn't have a choice unless I wanted to get me ass handed to me by my father when I got back. I sighed defeatedly and made to get up off the bed, but I was pulled down hastily by Levi to share a passionate kiss. "Pour la route" he smiled slightly as the trail of salvia connecting our tongues broke when we parted. "Thanks" I shut my eyes and pressed my forehead to his, just breathing with him for a few moments before I stood up again, pushing off the creaky bed to grab my hoodie that was slung over the back of a nearby chair. "Bye Levi" "Adieu Eren" I made to leave when I was stopped by Levi loudly shouting my name making me turn around sharply. He was holding out a torn scrap of paper that looked like the corner ripped off an envelope. "Huh-what?" I took it and squinted in the low light trying to make out what was written there, it looked like a phone number. "Texte moi" I nodded before opening the door and descending the stairs. --- I stared down at the lit-up screen of my smartphone as I bit my fingernails. I didn't know what to say to him, so I settled for a simple 'hi' to set things going. Eren: hi :) I got a reply seconds later, Unknown number: Eren? Eren: yeah :) I felt stupid this was so awkward. I quickly saved him into my contacts so I didn't freak out next time I saw a text from an unknown number who claimed to know me, not that anyone else would be texting me, I'm not that popular. Levi: Eren, can ask I you something? I sniggered as I realised he was using google translate, and hastily typed out a reply. Eren: yeah. Sure :) Levi: how you stay like here with me? My heart lurched, I wanted to, I fucking wanted to. Heaven knows I wanted to. My dad would never allow it, no way in hell. He would sooner shoot me rather than have me leave; I was his little 'moneymaker' who paid for his alcohol obsession and he would be damned if I ever tried to make a break for it. Eren: I can't.. Levi: why? Eren: I just can't :( Levi: why Why Why Why :'( I couldn't help but laugh a little at his childish demeanour. Eren: dad issues Levi: what do you mean? Eren: my dad is a bastard he won't let me leave :( Levi: run away He said it like it was the simplest thing to do ever. Eren: it's not that easy Levi: please Eren: I can't Levi: please Eren, I need you My breath hitched, I didn't know how to respond to him, Eren: I can't. Levi: Eren!! Come live with me, Eren Something hit me then, something that hurt. Eren: even if I did, aren't you going back to France? I mean, transfers don't last forever. Levi: ... Eren: it's a stupid idea It took him a little longer to reply and I panicked, worried that I'd offended him. Levi: you're right, stupid. Bye Eren He left it at that. I felt terrible, maybe google translate mangled it and made it sound worse than it was? Or maybe I was just being that harsh; he only wanted me to be with him and I gave him the cold shoulder. 'God-fucking-dammit Levi! I feel like shit now' I groaned and rolled back onto the mattress, staring morosely at the cracked ceiling. I wanted to stay with him, I loved him, and I don't mean that in a stupid 'crush' sort-of way; I meant it in the way that I felt my heart ache when I was around him, and also when I was away from him, driving me into a sexual craze. I loved his body, the way he touched me, the snarky look on his face as he made me come for him. I fucking loved him. I clenched my pillow hard as I remembered that he'd be leaving at the end of the school term, less than two weeks away. It was fucking unbearable. "Levi" I whispered into the murky darkness of the room. How would I cope when he was gone? Without him around the bullies would go return to kicking the absolute shit out of me, and I didn't even know the next time someone would want me in a sexual way. But that was the catch, I didn't want anyone else to want me, only Levi, I only wanted Levi... I covered my eyes with my dirty hoodie sleeve as I started to sob, desperately trying to stop the tears from falling. ...I cried myself to sleep that night, dreading the deadline day that Levi would leave me forever. Chapter End Notes Hahaha I bet you thought the angst was over biatches~ Haha I'm sorry (totally not sorry) However I AM sorry for crappy chapter T____T forgive meh! About one or two chapters off the end now. UPDATE: holy crap I'm a dumbfuck! Woke up early this morning so decided to post the new chapter FORGETTING THAT I HADN'T YET TRANSLATED IT!! I'm so sorry if I caused any confusion! It's sorted now! ***** Chapter 14 ***** Chapter Summary Eren finally gets some good news... Chapter Notes This is it. The last chapter See the end of the chapter for more notes School seemed to be almost an impossibility the next day. I woke up wanting to cry, hot tears formed in my eyes and I whined in humiliation and frustration with myself. I felt so lost. I had finally found someone to love wholeheartedly and someone who would love me back; yet like everything else I had ever loved in my life, he was being taken away from me, and there was nothing I could do about it. I held the fabric strap of my school satchel closer to my body as I squeezed through the tight crowds of students and teachers making their ways to and from lessons, chatting animatedly and just making it plain difficult to get around. I hadn't seen Levi in school that morning and I was terrified I'd managed to push him over the edge again. Eren: Levi are you in school?? :'( I texted him, not knowing what else to do. Levi: yes. I didn't know if he was being purposefully hostile or not, but it honestly felt like he was trying to avoid me. Eren: where are you?? :) I added a smiley face for good measure, I wouldn't let him know that his attitude was off putting and really hurt my feelings. Levi: back gates. I immediately sped up my pace to almost a run and practically sprinted out of one of the many back doors of the school to make my way to where Levi was. "Levi!" I called out, trying not to let my excitement show as I saw his tidy mop of black hair blowing back lazily in the Summer breeze. "Eren" he called my name back softly, a look of genuine happiness gracing his sharp features. I jogged up to his side, trying to calm down my rapidly beating heart, and without even thinking about it, wrapped my arms around him. "Oh-I-" I pulled my arms away only to be rewarded with a charming laugh, a pair of arms reached up around my neck to pull me down so a tender kiss could be placed on my cheek. A violent blush raged across my face at the intimate action; sure there was no- one else around as this area was out-of-bounds for students, but it still made my insides tingle. "Eren?" He looked questioningly at me with a hint of playfulness. "Yeah?" Levi whipped out his phone and pointed excitedly at the lit-up screen, 'How you like to stay here with me?' I looked at him with an expression of sadness. He already knew my answer; no matter how much I wanted to, I literally couldn't, he had to return back home to France. I opened my mouth to speak but I was silenced instantly by a slender finger placed upon my lips. "Chut" He looked straight into my eyes with no hint of sadness or disappointment reflected in his own, only content and happiness sparkling deep within those grey irises. He slipped his hand inside his jacket and into his inner pocket, muttering something as he pulled out a crumpled envelope. "Lire" he instructed me, I took the envelope from him and pulled out a piece of paper that looked like it had been torn out of the back of one of his exercise books. 'Eren. News is great!! I am stay here for permanent. I talk to French college and they tell me I transfer can stay. Move in with me. ~ Levi' I almost dropped the paper. "For real?" "Pour de vrai" I lunged at him in euphoria and swept him off the floor, he wrapped his legs around my waist as I spun him around. "Oh my fucking god" I supported him with one hand under his legs and held him close to me with the other. He was staying. I wouldn't have to say goodbye. I could move in with him. All of these glorious thoughts exploded in my mind as I kissed him softly, our mouths moving in sync, neither of us deepening the kiss until at last Levi pulled away. "Oi Eren, je vous ai dit que je vous apprendre à baiser français" He smiled brightly and leant down to capture my lips in a fresh kiss; he pushed my lips apart with slight force and slid his tongue deep inside. I let my eyes slide shut as he did wonderful things inside my mouth, pulling my head to the side at an angle that deepened the kiss further than I could ever imagine. We sighed in pleasure as the sensation lit our bodies up, unfortunately it was over faster than I would have liked, but I was overjoyed that he would be staying. "Maintenant nous devons juste pour obtenir vos choses" he interlocked his fingers with mine and we raced together down the sidewalk hand-in-hand. We reached my house within twenty minutes and I nervously led him around the back. When we were underneath the bathroom window I gave him a leg-up so he could reach to grab the lattice; he scrambled up it with me close behind. Once inside my nerves kicked in with a force that made me shake. I tried to act as quickly as I could; I kneeled down and pulled the black dust covered fabric suitcase out from underneath my bed as Levi tutted at the unruly state of my room. "Affreux" he commented dryly and swung my closet doors open to grab the items of clothing inside and placed them on a neat pile on top of my duvet. I shoved them all haphazardly into the case, I decided to take my chances and raced into my father's room to steal a photo of my mom that he kept in his bedside drawer. When I had returned, Levi had already packed my makeup and toiletries from the bathroom and was standing by the window ready to leave. "Let's go" He nodded and I threw a leg over the window to shimmy down the wall. "Throw it!" I shouted as loudly as I dared, not seconds later the suitcase had been dropped over the window ledge, I caught it and wheeled it over to the side. "Now you!" Levi gingerly sat on the ledge and stared down at me as if he wasn't quite sure what to do next. "It's okay, I've got you" I reassured him. He nodded again with a hint of fear in his eyes, and let himself drop. I let out a heavy wheeze as he impacted with my arms; it wasn't exactly a graceful landing, but thankfully he didn't weigh much so neither of us were injured. We ran for the gate and threw the suitcase over, quickly following over after it. After that we didn't stop running until we reached Levi's apartment block. "Come on, come on!" I urged him up the old staircase playfully as we charged up to his apartment. He fumbled around with the key for a few moments until he had it slotted in the keyhole and we burst through into the sitting room. He locked the door behind us and we both collapsed on the couch, just staring at each other. We'd done it, I was free. "Levi" "Eren" We both began laughing and I reached out to pull him onto my lap. I could stay here with him forever, he wasn't leaving, I had actually ran away from home after years of contemplating the action. So many thoughts overwhelmed me, but all that mattered right then was being with Levi, breathing in time and trading kisses across fluttered eyes and heavy breathing. Levi kissed my fingertips gently, and I sighed in content. "For better or for worse, I'm here to stay" We kissed gently, humming and laughing whenever our lips moved. "Voulez-vous aller pour un lecteur?" Levi grinned as we raced down into the car park, hastily pulling on our helmets to tear down the road to nowhere. There are no rules in black love, only to indulge in the sinful bliss of being free. Free as the wings of a bird. Chapter End Notes So that's it guys. It's over now. I can't make excuses, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter; it's definitely complete, and I couldn't write any more or Armour Noir if I tried, to be honest even though I had a plan, it diverted that many times that it ended up completely different to what it was originally meant to be. I edited the plan about six times in all, and due to the nature I gave the characters they sort of made their own ways about things which changed the flow of the story. I'm sorry if this really has been the piece o' crap writing I think it is. I have also never completed a fanfic before and so to finish one of this length is truly an incredible feat for me. I am grateful for all of the bookmarks, comments and kudos I received on this work; especially from Kaze_mizu1 who followed me loyally through every chapter and left comments on every single chapter. If you enjoyed reading this (or even if you didn't) please can you read my next fanfic that I will be releasing next Saturday. (2014/5/ 17) It is called Solider Boy. A EreRi fanfic rated M. Summary: Levi and Eren attend the same university each taking a separate course, Levi taking Animal Care and Eren taking Engineering. Due to an accident where a horse is released from the stables, Levi has to capture it however Eren catches it first. The two soon become friends, and not long after Eren reveals his plans to join the army to Levi. Levi is horrified and begs Eren not to leave, however Eren leaves anyway, even after Levi confesses his feelings towards him. With only one thing left to do, Levi joins the cavalry the following year; though instead of riding horses like he first expects, he finds himself driving tanks. Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!