Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11086143.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Supernatural_RPF
  Relationship:
      Jensen_Ackles/Genevieve_Cortese/Jared_Padalecki
  Additional Tags:
      Threesome_-_F/M/M, Threesome, Polyamory, Pseudo-Incest, Voyeurism,
      Marriage, Weddings
  Series:
      Part 1 of pseudocest-threesome!Verse
  Collections:
      Poly_Big_Bang
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-06-03 Chapters: 4/4 Words: 26374
****** Always the Groomsman, Never the Groom ******
by cherie_morte
Summary
     AU: At five years old, Jensen Ackles is uprooted and forced to move
     to Texas to live with his mother's new husband and his daughter,
     Genevieve. Jensen isn't all that excited about having a brand new
     little sister to worry about, but once he meets her, he immediately
     becomes devoted. Jared is the boy next door: best friend to both
     Jensen and Genevieve. The three grow up in each other's pockets; an
     inseparable triangle, and that's just how they like it. When
     Genevieve and Jared start dating in high school, Jensen knows how it
     will end—they're the perfect couple, destined for marriage from their
     first clumsy teenage kiss. He's happy to see them happy, but on the
     night of their wedding, Jensen discovers he's not strong enough to
     play smiling best man as he gives away both of the loves of his life.
Notes
     Repost of my 2012 polybigbang originally posted here. Art and podfic
     are both by the lovely heard_the_owl and can be found here and here
     respectively.
***** Chapter 1 *****
     [https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4535/37929212705_99be8626e1_o_d.jpg]
[https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4515/37929212525_14329da4e5_o_d.jpg]
The world is a strange shade of yellow through the glass of champagne Jensen's
holding to the light. There are bubbles floating over all the faces staring at
him, occasionally popping or ascending to the top in an amusing, distracting
little rhythm that Jensen can't quite figure out. He's enjoying the peace of
mind it's giving him to not see anyone in sharp focus and to have something
stupid to think about instead of what he's about to say or why he's saying it.
The music comes to a lull and Jensen's brain crashes with it. For a moment, he
worries he doesn't know what's going to come out of his mouth. He blanks on all
the lines he's been practicing for the last month and is half-convinced he'll
stumble over them all if he does manage to remember them. Which is weird
because he hasn't even had a sip of champagne yet.
Maybe it's the flask, says an annoying little voice in his head.
Jensen's free hand brushes over his pocket, feels the metal and the near-empty
slosh of the liquid inside. It could be the flask, he's willing to concede.
The chitchat of the guests all dies away as Jensen clears his throat. Beside
him, Genevieve is laughing at something Jared's been saying and only stops when
Jensen pauses to glare at her.
She looks happy. She looks happier than he's ever seen her, as happy as he's
ever dreamed of making her, and Jensen smiles back at her sheepish grin. Of
course she's happy. She has everything anyone could want.
And what do you have? that stupid, nagging part of Jensen's brain interjects.
An open bar, if I can get through this speech, Jensen silently replies.
He knows he'll get through it, through this whole night, and he'll do it
without a hitch. Because that's what he has to do. Because this is their night.
It's not Jensen's to ruin.
He opens his mouth to begin and doesn't let himself wonder how the hell he
ended up here.
        _______________________________________________________________
"Texas," she says again. "We're moving to Texas because that's where Mr.
Cortese lives." When Jensen's mother speaks to him, she talks very slowly. She
uses small words. Jensen used to think this was just how she was, but he's
starting to suspect it's only for him. "You remember him, right? You met him
last February."
Jensen shrugs. He only sees his mother a few times a year and, when he does,
it's usually only for a few hours. Jensen has to wear stupid, fancy clothes and
meet a lot of boring people on those nights, so he doesn't really pay attention
to who they are.
"He's going to be your new dad."
Jensen frowns. "But I liked my old dad," he says.
His mother makes a sound Jensen's not sure he understands. She reaches out and
then pauses before touching Jensen. She doesn't seem to know what to do, so she
pats him on the back. Jensen doesn't really feel any better.
"I know, honey. I miss your dad, too. But we need to move on, okay? Mommy can't
take care of you without a little help."
Jensen doesn't laugh. She doesn’t like to be laughed at. But as much as she
treats him like he's still a baby, Jensen thinks he might be a little smarter
than her. She still thinks she's the one who takes care of him.
"You'll have a little sister to play with, too. Isn’t that exciting?"
Jensen doesn't know how to answer, so he stays quiet. He's never really given
the idea of a sister much thought, because he never had one to think about.
"You'll love it," she promises with another pat to Jensen's head as she stands
to go.
Nana is waiting in the hallway with a basket full of laundry when Jensen's
mother leaves, and she comes in, balancing the clothes on her hip as she closes
the door.
Jensen doesn't realize he's started crying until Nana sets the hamper down on
the foot of his bed and takes him up in her arms, shushing him.
"There, there, sweetie. I'm sure you'll like it just as much in Texas as you do
in California."
Jensen shakes his head and kicks his foot out at the mattress. "I don't want a
new daddy," he says.
Nana laughs. "No one is trying to take your father's place," she tells him,
pulling away and putting her hands on Jensen's cheeks. "Your mother just
doesn't know how to talk to smart little boys like you."
Jensen pouts. "I'm not little," he reminds her.
"Oh, dear," she says, laughing as she lets Jensen go.
Her laugh makes Jensen feel a little better, and he crawls onto her lap. "Nana,
you're coming with us to Texas, right?"
She frowns. "No, baby, I'm afraid not."
"But who will take care of me?" Jensen asks.
Nana hugs him, and Jensen can't help feeling like he wants to start crying
again. "Big boys like you," she says quietly, "have to take care of
themselves."
Nana lets Jensen have ice cream for dinner the next night, and they stay up
watching TV until long after his bed time. When he falls asleep on the couch,
he falls asleep with his head on her shoulder. But she's gone when his mother
shakes him awake the next morning, and Jensen finds that she left three
suitcases of his things all packed.
Jensen leaves for Texas that day. The rest of his things come within the week,
but Jensen waits for Nana and she never shows up.
Mr. Cortese—call me Frank, or Dad, I guess—comes back from his vacation two
weeks after Jensen and his mother have moved into his big, empty house. It's
full of boring things and people who tell him not to touch them because they're
expensive and could break and that's supposed to matter to Jensen somehow.
There are no toys and no friends and none of the ladies who make Jensen come
down to dinner have nice wrinkly faces or tell Jensen stories. Jensen hates it
and the man who lives in it, the whole reason Jensen is stuck here to begin
with, before he even shows up.
He arrives with a huge group of people carrying his things and a little girl
clutching his hand. She has big brown eyes and long brown hair and she hangs
back when her father introduces her to Jensen like she's shy. Frank says she's
his sister, Genevieve. He tells Jensen they're going to be great friends.
All she looks like to Jensen is a girl, and Jensen doesn’t like playing with
girls, and anyway, he has friends back home. He stays until his mother excuses
him and then runs back to his room and closes the door.
She's even more annoying than Jensen thought she would be. She doesn't say
anything through dinner, just sits watching Jensen and eats her soup in neat
little spoonfuls with a Barbie on the table by her plate.
After dinner, Mother says they should play together. They don't really get a
choice. An old man escorts them to one of the mansion's many living rooms, and
Genevieve goes immediately to her dolls, sitting in front of a pile and picking
one up. Jensen finds that some of his action figures have been brought down and
is about to claim them when Genevieve grabs one of them with the hand she isn't
carrying a doll in.
Jensen tries to snatch it back, but she holds on. "That's mine," he says. "Give
it back."
"Can't I play with it for a while?" she asks.
Jensen glares and pulls one more time until she lets go. "No. It's not yours.
You have your stupid dolls."
Genevieve looks sadly at the pile of toys in front of her, her bottom lip
beginning to shake. "But don't you want to share?"
Jensen crosses his arms over his chest. "Why would I want to do that?"
Genevieve's lip stops trembling and she wipes at her eyes. "Because you never
had anyone to share with before, and you want to know what it's like."
Jensen sits down a little bit away from her but close enough to guard his
things. "What do you know about me?" he asks.
She looks at Jensen for a few seconds, and then looks down at the pile of toys
between them. She doesn't answer him, but she pushes her Barbies toward him and
looks up with a smile.
It's not like Jensen wants to play with her stupid dolls, but something in his
chest clenches nonetheless and never really gets around to unclenching.
        _______________________________________________________________
It's a funny thing, standing up here like this. Jensen's getting a pretty damn
insightful perspective.
To his left, his mother and stepfather are smiling attractive, fake smiles and
sitting closer than Jensen's seen them in years. Come to think of it, he's not
sure they've been in the same room in years. They're huddled together now,
Frank's hand just next to his mom's on the table, but not quite touching it.
Not resting over it. Genevieve's tables are all full, but it's mostly her
father's co-workers and business partners, flashy people whose names "mean
something." They aren't paying much attention.
Jensen looks right. Jared's family is crammed together—too many Padaleckis, all
of them too big, in not enough seats. It's like 300 copies of the same
overblown, dimpled smile, every face in the crowd fixed on him or on the happy
couple beside him. They're in each other's laps, in each other's space. Megan
is making a face and Jared's ma is crying into pa's shoulder. There are people
there who came from all over, Jensen even sees the Alaska Padaleckis.
Left feels familiar; right feels like home.
"Speech," Jeff calls, pounding his fist on the table.
The china Frank paid too much money for all rattles, and Jensen sees
Genevieve's stuck-up aunt Terry clutch at her pearls out of the corner of his
eye.
His smile widens, finally feeling a little authentic. "I was just about to get
to that when you interrupted."
Jeff throws his head back on a laugh, and Jensen would flip him off if it
weren't for the left side of the room. He makes a face at Jeff and hopes that
gets the point across.
Jensen shifts his weight. Looks down. His palm feels itchy.
        _______________________________________________________________
It's a beautiful summer day when they discover the boy next door.
Jensen's never really sure if their parents willfully kept the knowledge of the
family in the next house over a secret or if no one cared enough to mention it,
but it feels like a discovery either way. Jensen's big move to Texas was a year
and a half ago, his mother's wedding following only a month after Jensen moved
in.
In all that time, Jensen never realized there could be other children in their
neighborhood. All the houses down the block seemed as boring and breakable as
all the objects he can't touch at home. If he'd looked harder, he would have
seen the cardboard in the broken window upstairs and the baseball sitting on
the shingles of the roof, or the deathtrap of a tree house in the backyard. He
might have seen the yellow bus that pulled up next door every morning, and he
might have heard the two loud boys who got on it.
But Jensen stops looking or listening to anything that isn't Genevieve pretty
quickly after he gets to Texas.
They're told to stay inside most days. They go to school, but they don't ride
the bus to the public school just a few blocks away. They get in a black car
with a man who wears a black suit and treats them like they're his bosses, and
they go to a private school that doesn't let them play together because boys
and girls have different classes. They both try explaining that Genevieve is
really a better boy than Jensen is and should get to come with him, but the
teachers always thinks it's a joke. They both hate school and when they get
home, they toss their backpacks to the side and forget their homework. It's
more fun to watch TV and play together and wait for someone to bring snacks.
It's the weekend now, though, which is usually a good thing. Today, however,
Jensen's mother is throwing a party. Jensen really hates parties.
Everything is loud in the house, people are running from one room to the next,
yelling things as if it's all very important. They can't hear their cartoons.
They have to wear stupid clothes. Nobody is around to get Genevieve the toys or
food she wants. Jensen secretly likes that last part, because it means she has
to give him all her attention, but he's adding it to the list of things he
hates, anyway.
"Why do I have to wear a dress?" Genevieve whines. Jensen offers her a grilled-
cheese sandwich and she takes it with a pout. "I hate dresses."
"I don't know," Jensen answers, climbing onto the couch next to her. "You look
ridiculous."
"Your mother picked it out. Don't blame me." She reaches for the cup in his
hand. He sighs, relinquishing what was supposed to be his apple juice. She has
a point, after all. Jensen's mother is supposed to be his responsibility, and
he is just not as good at keeping her in line as Genevieve is with Frank.
"At least yours feels kind of cool," Jensen says. "Mine is like regular clothes
only harder to move in."
Genevieve laughs. Her dress is green velvet, and she and Jensen have been
poking at it all day. "Well, there's the red one upstairs if you want to wear
that."
"Boys don't wear dresses, stupid."
"Well, why not? I think you'd look nice."
"No one looks nice in a dress."
"Donna said I look like a princess!"
"She was lying," Jensen replies quietly. "You look like a girl."
"I am a girl, genius," she answers before taking a bite of her sandwich. Crumbs
spill off the plate and onto her dress, and Jensen can't help laughing at how
ladylike she isn’t.
"It's usually easier to ignore."
Genevieve makes an upset sounds and stands up, slamming the sandwich and juice
Jensen had brought her down on the coffee table. "Fine! If you don't want to
talk to a girl, I'll just go somewhere else."
"Where are you going?" Jensen asks. "This is the only room we're allowed in
right now."
Genevieve stops at the door, sticks her tongue out at Jensen, and then
continues her exit. Jensen sits and waits for her to crawl back for her lunch
for three episodes of Hey Arnold! before he realizes she really has been gone
for a kind of long time and starts to worry.
He searches the house first. He bumps into a lot of people and gets yelled at,
and those who bother to answer when he asks if they've seen Genevieve all say
they haven't. She's not in her room. That's when Jensen starts to get really
worried.
He opens the front door more out of desperation than anything, and he hears
what sounds like a real party next door. There's yelling and laughing—it sounds
like children, and Jensen wanders across his lawn and onto the one beside it
more out of curiosity than because he expects to find Genevieve.
A part of him forgets he's worried about her at all.
What he sees is chaos: bright splashes of color from balloons and banners, kids
in swimsuits, and adults standing around food tables talking. They laugh
sometimes as they watch their kids, but not one of them tells the kids to stop
running, or turns down the music that's blasting down the street, or takes away
the water guns because they're too violent.
Jensen thinks maybe he's died and gone to Heaven.
"Jensen!"
Jensen looks to the sound of his name and sees Genevieve splashing in a kiddie
pool with a boy he's never seen before. He stomps over, very determined to be
upset. She scared him, after all, and was mean, and now she's having fun
without him.
"You're in so much trouble!" Jensen says crossing his arms over his chest. "Mom
is gonna kill you for ruining that dress."
"Who cares about this dress?" Genevieve laughs, swishing in the water. "It's
really heavy. It's not very good for swimming. I still don't like it."
"You can't just—you don't even know these people."
"I'm Jared."
Jensen pauses, blinking a few times and looking over at the boy in the pool.
He'd forgotten he was there. Jared is looking at Jensen, though, all of his
attention fixed on him with a smile so bright Jensen feels humbled by it.
"You should come in, too."
Jensen looks down at his suit, then back up at the boy in the pool. "I—I
can’t," he says. "We aren't supposed to be here."
"Please?" Jared looks over at a group of boys chasing each other with guns.
"Jeff and his friends don't want to play with me. They say they're too old. And
mom says Meg is too little." Jared inclines his head toward a woman who is
sitting by one of the tables with a baby in her lap. "Don't make Genevieve
leave."
"Yeah, Jensen," she says sweetly. "Don't make me go back to that stupid party."
Jensen feels bad for Jared, but he doesn't feel too bad. He can't imagine being
lonely, not in a place like this. And he certainly doesn't feel bad for
Genevieve. She may have forgotten they were fighting, but Jensen was the one
worried and alone while she was over here goofing off.
"Come on, Gen." He takes another step, so his feet are up against the side of
the pool. "Before we get in trouble. It's not too late—you still have the red
dress. You can change into that one and I'll help you hide this one, and she
doesn't have to know you ruined it until after the party. By then she won't
care."
Genevieve sighs. "Maybe I want to get in trouble."
"Don't be stupid." Jensen puts his hands on his hips. "Nobody wants to get in
trouble."
"I do." Genevieve smiles innocently. "I think you do, too."
"And what makes you think that?"
"If we both ruin our clothes, she can't punish us. She'll let us stay here
while she has her party just so we're out of her hair. If it's just me, I'll
have to sit upstairs all night by myself, and you'll have to go and be
presentable."
Jensen looks down at his feet, at the stupid, shiny black shoes he's wearing.
He shifts from one to the other, wondering when his little sister became an
evil genius.
"Please," she says, drawing it out. Jared joins in after a few seconds, and
when he looks back up, Jensen is met by the two most deadly sets of puppy eyes
he's ever seen. Basically, Jensen is doomed.
He's not sure if he takes the step or if Jared and Genevieve drag him in.
        _______________________________________________________________
He starts simple. Jensen isn't a writer; he's never been one for speeches. He's
only standing up here because he's the obvious choice, and it's because he's
the obvious choice that he has to keep this simple. He can't get personal,
can't give Jared and Genevieve the speech they deserve from him. He'll have a
nervous fucking breakdown if he tries.
So he tells the story everyone listening already knows. Blah, blah, I've been
there the whole time, blah, blah, I saw them fall in love, blah blah, they're
perfect for each other, and so on and so forth.
He doesn't talk about the summer Jared threw Genevieve off the top of a
waterfall because she was too scared to jump, the way he plummeted after her
and left Jensen standing on top of the rock, watching him laugh as she slapped
his wet skin. He doesn't say that he knew from that moment—years before Jared
or Genevieve figured it out—that he would be giving this speech one day.
Because, like a storm cloud, he stayed up there scowling down at them and their
happiness and wishing, in his great fit of self-obsessed teenage angst, that he
could jump down and land between them and keep them apart. And even now, all
grown up, a part of him still wishes he had. He can’t tell that story without
the bitterness creeping in.
He turns back to the table behind him. Jared and Genevieve, their hands wrapped
around each other's on the table, are watching Jensen with warm smiles on their
faces, as if he's saying the right thing. Maybe for them, he is. They're
probably too happy to care right now, really. But there's a candle flickering
between them, and it makes Jensen think of fireflies. That makes him swallow
down everything that hurts and continue his speech with renewed conviction.
Jensen is happy for them. Most of him. He got to be a part of what they have,
and he's thankful for that, he's so thankful that tears spring to his eyes as
he watches them. He feels like he's giving every stereotypical wedding speech
he's ever rolled his eyes at in movies, but it doesn't matter.
They're going to be happy, and that's all Jensen's ever wanted for either of
them.
        _______________________________________________________________
"Did you know that if you squash one of them they keep glowing for like a
minute after?"
Genevieve sits up quickly, a smile on her face. "Is that true?"
Jared rises to his elbows and glares down at Jensen. "Why would you put an idea
like that in her head?" he asks. "You know how she is."
"It's just cool," Jensen says. "I didn't say we should try it."
"Except for how we totally should."
"You're a monster." Jared's eyes narrow. "What did the fireflies ever do to
you?"
"Be gross insects?" Genevieve grins wider, and Jensen can tell she's teasing.
Jared still hasn't figured that part of her out, still takes everything anyone
says to him at face value. Jensen would explain it to him, but it really is
kind of amusing to watch him get worked up. "Look cool when they die?"
"You're not squashing the fireflies." Jared lies back down, his arms crossed
over his chest.
Genevieve crawls on top of him. "It's just some bugs, Jared. It's not the end
of the world."
"It is for the bugs," Jared mumbles.
Jensen snorts, but Jared looks genuinely distressed and it stops being funny
after a few seconds. "Gen, why don't you lie back down and just watch them glow
without squishing them?"
Genevieve never takes orders, but Jensen's learned how to pitch his suggestions
in the right voice. Grudgingly, she nods and obeys.
The calm lasts for all of five minutes. Jared is contentedly looking up at the
night sky, quieter than Jensen's ever seen him. Jensen is listening to the
crackling of the bonfire Jared's dad has going and the faint chatter of
conversation from the grownups. Genevieve is fidgeting.
"I'm bored," she announces. "Let's do something."
Jared doesn't look away from the stars. "Like what?"
"I don't care," she says. "Hide and seek. Tag. Bug-squashing lightshows."
Jared sits up angrily at the last one, which is all Genevieve wanted. She leans
forward, pushing his right shoulder. "Tag, you're it."
Then she runs off. Jensen and Jared both watch her retreat. Jared turns to look
at him. "I didn't say I wanted to—" He sighs and stumbles to his feet, then
hurries after her.
Jensen follows more slowly. He takes his time standing, wipes the dirt and
grass stains off his hands and clothes. Then he finds a hiding spot, and they
run around for so long that even Genevieve finally surrenders. They end up
tumbling right back to the same patch of grass they started on, out of breath
and amused.
The fireworks start then and Genevieve claps. "This is my favorite part."
"You say that every Fourth of July," Jensen points out.
Jared laughs. "As if we couldn't have guessed that you would like the part with
the explosions."
Genevieve sticks her tongue out and then turns away to ignore them, playing at
mature for the first time ever. Most of the show passes without more than
sounds of awe, fingers pointing this way and that as they try to draw each
other's eyes to their favorite parts.
As the fireworks are starting to wind down, just the last red, white, and blues
breaking out at random intervals, Jared sits up. Jensen realizes he looks oddly
serious for an eight year-old, but then he smiles shyly. "I'm really glad your
parents finally let you guys come this year."
"Me too," Genevieve agrees. "This is the funnest Fourth of July ever."
Jensen definitely agrees with that, but he doesn’t bother saying as much.
"You're my best friends," Jared adds. "I wish we could spend every night like
this."
"We do spend every night like this," Genevieve says, her foot digging into
Jensen's side. "Right, big brother?"
"Yep," Jensen says, rolling his eyes. "You're the only one left out of the
fun."
"I know." Jensen looks at Jared then, wondering if Jared really thinks that.
Jensen can't imagine anyone with a family like Jared's could understand how
much fun he and Genevieve don't have when they're at home instead of at
Jared's. "I wish I could be your brother, too. And then it could always be us,
just us."
Jensen grins. "Us and our fifteen closest lightning bugs."
"Our fifteen closest squished, dead, little lightening bugs," Genevieve amends.
"How about us and our fifteen closest totally alive lightening bugs?" Jared
offers.
They laugh at that a lot longer than it probably deserves.
        _______________________________________________________________
Jensen comes to the end of his speech. It's not the one he planned; it's much
better. Personal, like Jensen had intended to avoid, and with good reason. He's
shaken up now, but at least his voice is staying strong.
He swallows one last lump and reverts back to the usual wedding clichés as he
finishes, "What Genevieve and Jared have is the kind of bond everyone looks for
and very few people find. I couldn't be happier that they found it with each
other."
He raises his glass and turns back to look at them, then grins as he mouths a
joke so old and familiar he knows they'll be able to read it off his lips, "And
fifteen of their closest porn stars."
Genevieve hides her face against Jared's shoulder, trying to muffle her
laughter. Jared doesn't laugh, but his smile widens and he keeps his eyes on
Jensen's.
He winks, and Jensen's breath catches. He can't help wondering if he'd played
things differently, would he be the one with his face pressed into Jared's arm
right now? Would Jared have kissed him back? Probably, Jensen thinks, he would
have blown it somewhere along the way, even if Jared had given him a chance.
Jared and Genevieve were meant to be, Jensen would only have been a
distraction.
Anyway, it doesn't matter now. Jensen forces out a few more seconds of a smile
for Jared, and then he downs his champagne.
        _______________________________________________________________
"What does that even mean, 'I want to spend time with my girlfriends'?" Jensen
can see Jared's eyes tracking him across the room, and he knows he must look
ridiculous, but he can't stop pacing. "Since when does she even have
girlfriends?"
He turns to Jared, sees an amused turn in the corner of Jared's mouth. He's
clearly not taking this seriously enough.
Jared shrugs. "Since today, I guess?"
Jensen sighs, sitting on the bed next to Jared, his shoulders slumping. "But
why can't we come?"
"You're jealous you don't get to spend an entire day at the mall?" Jared laughs
quietly, lying back in bed. "I'm just relieved she didn't want us to come. I
mean, what do you even do at a mall for five hours?"
Jensen lies down next to him. "I'm not jealous. And I have no idea what she, or
anyone, would want with that. But…you're not worried she won't want to hang out
with us anymore?"
Jared laughs, turning on his side to face Jensen. "Jen, she'll probably realize
all her girlfriends act like girls after like an hour and try to find a way to
get back here."
"And if she doesn't?"
"She'll have friends who aren't us. It's not the end of the world. She is a
girl, you know, she's allowed to want to act like one every now and then."
Jensen crosses his arms over his chest. "She never wanted to before."
"She's changing," says Jared. "We're all changing."
Jensen feels a hot flash of embarrassment run through him and turns away from
Jared. That's all just one more thing Jensen doesn't understand—or want to
understand—and it makes him nervous that Jared's noticed it.
"I don't want to change," Jensen says quietly. He sits up, looking down at
Jared. "I don't want her to change, and I don't want us to change."
Jared smiles, putting a hand on Jensen's shoulder. "It's not necessarily bad,
Jensen. It's just part of getting older."
"What do you know about getting older?" Jensen asks, poking Jared in the
stomach. "You're almost a full year younger than I am."
"And almost ten years wiser," Jared replies, laughing when Jensen smacks him in
the head with a pillow. He sits back up with a serious look on his face,
though. "Okay, my dad talked to me about it last week," he admits.
Jensen frowns then, looking away. As awkward as that sounds, Jensen almost
wishes there were someone who could sit him down and help him deal with
everything going on right now, all the weird new feelings he gets when he's
alone. "Well," he says after a long pause, "what are we supposed to do, then?"
Jared smiles. "What you need is a hobby." Jensen reaches for the pillow again,
but Jared stops him. "I'm serious, man. What do you like to do?"
"Uh," Jensen answers. "Hang out and watch movies? Stick our noses in places
they don't belong?"
"Nah, not things you like to do with me and Genevieve. I mean, what do you like
to do?"
"I like baseball alright?"
Jared nods. "And that's great. Baseball's great. But you play baseball with me
and Gen. I'm serious, what do you do when we're not all together?"
Jensen feels his eyebrows drawing close together. "I. But we're always
together, Jay."
Jared shakes his head. "Genevieve goes and plays dress-up or whatever with her
girlfriends. I go home sometimes. What do you do when you're alone?"
Jensen shrugs. "Homework, I guess."
Jared laughs, which makes Jensen's face burn hot. He feels like he doesn't get
the conversation, like Jared is keeping some part of it from him on purpose.
It's not that funny.
But then Jared smiles warmly, and he reaches out for Jensen's hand. "Come over
and spend the night at my place tonight, okay?"
"Alright," Jensen says, not understanding the subject change but grateful for
it nonetheless. "Should we wait until Genevieve gets home?"
Jared stands up, pulling Jensen's overnight bag out of his closet and throwing
it at Jensen's face. "Just stop worrying about Gen for one night, okay?"
Jensen agrees, though he's not really sure it's something he can agree to.
There's not much different about being at Jared's house without Genevieve,
because Jeff stops by the living room to tease them every now and then. He's
not as funny as she is, but it at least keeps the atmosphere. Jensen tries not
to think about her, whether she's home yet or if she feels like they ditched
her. He tries to focus on video games and the horror movies Jared puts on, and
he denies it every time Jared smacks him and tells him to stop worrying, so it
almost feels like he's succeeding.
They fall asleep pretty early—Jensen knows Genevieve would call them babies if
she were here but, dammit, that's exactly the kind of thing he's not supposed
to be thinking right now. Jensen wakes up in the middle of the night, confused
until he opens his eyes and sees Jared looming over him, shaking him awake.
"Wake up," he whispers.
Jensen rubs at his eyes, wondering if it's morning already. It can't be;
there's no sun out the window, and Jensen feels like he's only been asleep for
a couple of hours. "Dude, what time is it?"
Jared grins. "Like three in the morning."
Jensen very seriously considers pushing him right off the top bunk. "Why are
you waking me up at three in the morning?"
Somehow, Jared's grin gets even bigger, and even in the dark, Jensen can feel
how bright it is. "I want to show you something," he says. Then he heads for
the ladder, descending to the floor, and Jensen wants to ignore him, turn back
over and finish sleeping, but he wants to know what’s up even more.
He climbs down and finds Jared tying his shoes.
"Dude, where do you plan to go right now?"
"Shh," Jared says, putting a finger over his lips. He points down to Jensen's
sneakers, his instructions clear, and Jensen does as directed, putting them on.
Jared opens the door to his room, looking in both directions before gesturing
for Jensen to follow. Jensen does, and he stays quiet, even though he has about
a thousand questions he wants to be asking right now.
They sneak outside through the kitchen. There's a streetlamp just beyond the
fence around Jared's backyard, so it's dark, but not too dark. Jared starts
walking toward the big oak tree in the far right corner where there's a rope
ladder hanging from the side and a small platform up on top of the branches.
It's not like Jensen didn't know Jared had a tree house—he practically lives
here, after all—it just never occurred to him that it was Jared's tree house.
He always assumed it was Jeff's tree house, subject to the same unfair rules
that ban Jared and his friends from the basement and attic and basically
anywhere else Jeff wants to himself. Because he's oldest, and tree houses are
cool, and the eldest gets all the cool things. But now Jensen's close to enough
to read the sign that says, "Jared's Place" and "JEFF AND MEGAN ARE STUPID" and
"KEEP OUT."
Jensen's feelings are a little hurt. Jared's got this awesome tree house
apparently, and he never felt like sharing it with Jensen and Genevieve, even
though a tree house would be just about the coolest place ever to hang out.
Only Jared climbs up now and then sticks his head out over the top, blinking
down at Jensen expectantly. He's sharing it with Jensen, just with Jensen.
His chest swells a little as he puts his hands on the rope, careful not to
touch the wood in the dark and risk getting a splinter.
Once they reach the top, it's not at all what Jensen's expecting. There's not
much, just the wooden floor and a rail all around to keep anyone from falling.
Against one wall there's a giant plastic cover over something big and square
and there's a camping lamp hanging from one of the branches, just high enough
for Jared to reach and turn on as he rises to his tippy toes. The most
impressive thing is the telescope pointing up at the open sky from one of the
corners.
"Pretty cool, huh?" Jared asks, smiling as Jensen stares at it. He reaches
under the plastic covering, pulls out a big wooden trunk and opens it, picking
out a few large, flat sheets of cardboard. Then he drags the box over to the
telescope, positioning it right behind it. It's just tall enough to serve as a
bench.
"Come on," Jared says, sitting down and inclining his head for Jensen to move
forward. There's enough space for both of them, but the whole thing feels a
little unstable to Jensen.
Jared waits a few long seconds, then laughs. "Don't worry," he says. "My dad
and I built it. He checked it out, it's safe. Anyway, it holds him no problem,
so."
Jensen smiles. Mr. Padalecki isn't a small guy—in fact, he's probably the
biggest person Jensen's ever seen in person. "In that case," he says, taking
the empty space on the box next to Jared. "What is all this, Jay?"
"This is what I do when I'm not with you and Genevieve," he says happily. He
hands Jensen one of the big cardboard sheets, and Jensen stares down at it
suspiciously. It says Chart of the Night Sky on it, but all it looks like to
Jensen is a bunch of glow-in-the-dark dots connected and labeled with words he
doesn't recognize. "I used to ask my dad all these stupid questions about the
stars, so one day he told me that if I'd help him build this, I could have my
own place to learn about them. He used to come up with me on the weekends and
help me learn all the constellations and stuff, but I'd sneak up here so often
I learned them better than he did."
Jared's smile is new to Jensen, not his usual one. He looks proud and excited,
and Jensen doesn't really get it, but he likes it. He wants to get it.
They're quiet for a while, just because Jensen isn't sure what to say, and
Jared looks a little nervous as he points to the chart on Jensen's lap. "This
one right here is easy," he says. "It's the North Star, only it's really called
Polaris. You can find it, right?"
Jensen nods, because he's not an idiot, and points above them, slightly to the
left.
Jared smiles. "Right. And you see the ones around it?"
"The Big Dipper," Jensen says.
Jared shakes his head. "No, that's Ursa Minor. The Little Dipper."
"But it's got the biggest star," Jensen says.
Jared's lips quirk a little, and he draws closer to Jensen. "Look through the
telescope now and I bet you'll find the bigger dipper."
Jensen does as he's told, and he does find the Big Dipper easily enough. He
pulls back, pointing to where it is, which makes Jared way more excited than it
should. "Right!" he says. "That's Ursa Major. They're supposed to look like
bears, but I think it looks more like a horse. It's always hard to find
constellations if you look for the thing they're named after, because they
usually don't look anything like it."
He points to the chart again. "But if you look for those stars and find them up
there, you can kind of see it, right?"
Jensen looks down, then up, then back down. He can see the constellation, but
no way is it a bear. "No," he says honestly. "They're just dots to me."
Jared nods. "Fair enough," he says. "I had to work pretty hard before I started
to see them."
"But you did," Jensen says.
Jared turns to look at him, eyes moving over his face slowly. "Yeah," he says.
"Yeah, I did."
"Because you love this."
Jared's voice is quiet. "Yeah, I really do."
"And that's the whole point," says Jensen. "That's why you brought me up here?"
"You got it," Jared answers. "Because you and Genevieve are great, but this
is—"
"All yours."
Jensen looks down at the chart again. It's still as bewildering as it was when
he first got up here, but he's a little in awe of it, too. This jumble all
means something to Jared, and Jensen wants to understand that, or at least feel
the enthusiasm he can hear in Jared's whispers as he explains what each group
of stars is supposed to be and the story that got them each their names. Jared
goes on for half an hour or so, explaining things to Jensen, and Jensen knows
he won't remember much of it once he climbs down from here and goes back to
bed, but that doesn't matter.
"I've always wanted to play the guitar," Jensen says at one point, while
Jared's got his eye pressed to the telescope. Jensen likes that, doesn't want
to see Jared's face if he thinks it's stupid. It's not exactly as smart as
climbing up a tree and learning about the universe, but it's all Jensen can
think of.
Then Jared pulls away and looks at Jensen. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
He smiles, and Jensen knows how cheesy it is that he's thinking Jared's eyes
look as bright as the stars he's so enraptured by, but it's kind of true. "I
bet you Frank will buy you one, even get you lessons," he says. "I bet you'll
be great at it."
Jensen wants to draw closer, to turn his face in Jared's direction and feel all
the warmth he swears is pouring off his best friend and press his lips to
Jared's. Jensen feels a hot wave of shame pass through him. He's never in his
life wanted anything like that, but he wants it now with so much force it
scares him. He scoots away from Jared instead and turns his eyes back to the
sky.
Jared frowns. "Are you okay?"
"I'm great," Jensen says, turning back with a smile plastered on his face.
"This…thanks for this, Jared."
Jared grins and takes Jensen's hand in his and squeezes. "We can go to bed now,
if you want."
Jensen nods, using the excuse to jump up and get as far from Jared as possible.
        _______________________________________________________________
Jensen's surrounded on all sides, hearty slaps to his back and words of
congratulations coming at him like he's the one that just got married. He grins
and bares it, mostly faking the smile on his face until he feels Jared's hand
settle low on his back.
"Thanks for not fucking that up," Jared says. His voice is low, and Jensen
practically melts as he turns to face his—wow, his brother-in-law.
"Who said I was gonna fuck it up?" Jensen asks, taking another glass of
champagne as a waiter walks by him.
Jared's face is flashing dimples by the time Jensen turns his attention back on
him. "Oh, not me," he says innocently. "But, you know, the ol' ball and chain.
She was sure you'd mess up. Tried to convince me to make someone else my best
man, but I said, 'Nope. It's Jensen or it's no one.'"
Jensen shakes his head, taking a sip. "You're so full of shit."
Jared barks out a laugh. "I really am," he admits, and then his hand slides up
Jensen back, curving around his shoulder. Jesus, the guy is trying to kill him.
"But seriously, Jen. That was great."
"It was a little touch-and-go at first, but I think I pulled it out."
"You were the best best man ever. Not that I'd expect anything less from you."
Jensen rolls his eyes. "Well, it was the least I could do, you know. What with
you taking my bratty little sister off my hands and all."
Jared's eyes dodge across the room, finding Genevieve where she's laughing with
her bridesmaids. Jensen looks the same way, his heart giving just the faintest
pang. He drinks faster.
"Now's when you tell me what a bad situation I just got myself into, huh?"
Jared asks, glancing over at Jensen nervously. "Reveal all the things you've
been hiding all these years?"
As if there's anything about Genevieve he doesn't know by now.
Jensen smirks. "Oh yeah, forgot to mention, she snores like your grandpa and
looks like a grizzly bear in the morning."
"Mmm hmm," Jared replies. "Well, I guess I'm stuck with it now."
Jensen toasts to that, and Jared turns his entire body toward Jensen. "You
okay, man? I mean, are you having a good time?"
"Of course," Jensen says. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Jared bites his bottom lip. His eyes move down to the drink in Jensen's hand,
but he says nothing. "Was expecting you to be hitting on all the bridesmaids by
now," Jared's eyes move slowly back up to Jensen's, "not gonna look this good
forever, brother. Better trick someone into marrying you before you miss your
chance."
"Pretty sure only one of us is stupid enough to fall for that." Jensen shakes
his head. "Anyway, you know the love of my life is already happily married. My
love life is a tragedy."
"Dude, you have got to give up on my mom already," says Jared. "This is only
hurting you."
Jensen lays a hand over his heart, his face contorting in what he hopes is an
expression of extreme pain. Jared laughs, but then he leans in, his hand
tightening on Jensen's shoulder. "Look, I invited Matt," he says. "You
remember, Matt? From high school? You should go talk to him."
Jared pulls away then, giving Jensen a probing look, and Jensen looks back down
at his champagne. The meaning there is not lost on Jensen.
        _______________________________________________________________
Jensen gets a row of pats on his back as he makes his way into the dugout and
down the bench to take his seat by Jared.
"That was awesome," Jared says, reaching out so Jensen can slap a high five as
he sits.
"I know," he agrees. "I'm amazing."
"I wouldn't go that far," says someone standing to Jensen's left. Jensen turns,
sees Matt leaning against the chain link fence.
Jensen doesn't let his eyes linger, doesn't risk looking too long and giving
something away. Jared is sitting right there, and Jared can read him too well
as is. "You came to watch me win, didn't you?"
Matt shrugs. "Everyone else was here. I was bored."
Jensen smiles, looks left and sees Jared glaring a little. He wants to laugh.
Jensen knows the feeling, knows he probably makes the same face when Genevieve
or Jared is off with one of their friends, but Jared's brand of jealousy is
unique.
Matt's the only other guy Jensen's ever really been close to aside from Jared,
and Jensen knows what it must look like. Jared thinks he's been replaced, as if
Jensen could ever have another best friend. He's not even sure if he likes
Matt—Matt's okay, but they don't talk much, and if Jensen thought Jared
actually wanted to take Matt's place, Jensen would drop his new friend in a
second. The problem is, Jared doesn't actually know what being jealous of Matt
entails, and if he did, he'd treat Matt Bomer like his personal savior.
Jensen stands again, walking to the fence. The crowd is loud enough that Jensen
can pitch his voice low, and only Matt can hear him. "Why don't you meet me in
the equipment room?" Jensen asks. "Like 20 minutes after the game. I'll shower
and then tell the guys I'm cleaning up or something."
Matt frowns, shooting a look over to Jared, but he nods. "Yeah, alright," he
says. "I was kind of hoping we could maybe hang out."
Jensen shrugs. "Today's not a good day."
Matt stays quiet until finally he says, "I bet Jared wouldn't hate me so much
if you'd just let me get to know him."
"Dude, we've talked about this."
"I'm not asking you to introduce me as your—whatever. I'd just be cool if we
could hang out every now and then."
"Today's not a good day," he says again.
Matt's eyes narrow. "But it's a good day for the equipment room?"
Jensen licks his lips, slow and deliberate. "Unless you're not in the mood."
Matt sighs, looking away. "Yeah, okay," he agrees. "I'll be there."
Jensen smiles. "Wish me luck?"
"You don't need it," Matt replies, turning to the stands. Jensen feels like he
might have said something wrong, but he shrugs, returning to Jared's side just
in time to give him a push out on the field.
They really don't need good luck, end up kicking the other team's ass without
much effort on their part.
"Coach says he's buying pizza," Jared tells him as they head for the gym from
the locker room. "You gonna stick around?"
"Definitely," Jensen answers. "Just promised I'd take inventory on some of the
equipment before we went home. So I'll go work on that while we wait for the
delivery."
Jared nods, his hair still wet and hanging in his eyes from the shower. "You
want me to help? Could speed it up."
Jensen shakes his head, patting Jared on the back. "Nah, don't worry about it,
man. You had to do it like three weeks ago, wouldn't be fair."
Jared shrugs, and they go in their separate directions. Jensen finds Matt
exactly where he's expecting him, leaning back against a rack of balls looking
bored. He perks up when the door opens and smiles when he sees Jensen.
"Hey," he says.
Jensen skips the pleasantries. He waits to hear the click as the door shuts
behind him and moves forward quickly, wrapping his arms around Matt and kissing
him. Matt kisses back, a smile curving his mouth as he does so.
Jensen pulls back from the kiss, angles his head the way he's learned to do to
make this look right. Matt's got long brown hair, and if Jensen squints, he can
imagine Jared, those stupidly long strands blocking everything except his
smile. Matt's not an unattractive guy—in fact, he's gorgeous—but he doesn't
have that smile.
"What do you want to—?"
Jensen answers that by sinking to his knees, waiting for Matt to reach down and
unbuckle his belt before he moves forward, opening Matt's jeans and pulling his
dick out. He strokes it a few times, but it doesn't take much to get it hard,
and Jensen closes his eyes, licking up the side of it.
Matt groans. His voice is wrong when he does that, which makes Jensen feel a
little dirty, but he ignores it. Thinks of Jared until his mouth is watering
again and takes that cock down the best he can manage. There are hands on the
back of his head within seconds, eager and bossy, and that is exactly what
Jared would do, so Jensen moans encouragingly around the dick in his mouth.
He gets carried away, so horny as he reaches down between his legs and starts
stroking himself, and he doesn't hear the door open, doesn't realize there's
someone standing in the doorway watching him until Matt speeds up, thrusting
into Jensen as he gasps and comes. Jensen pulls off of him, turning as the
light filtering in hits him.
"Jensen? The pizza's—" It's Jared's voice, and, oh god, he's standing there,
staring right at Jensen with his eyes too big for his head. Right at Jensen. No
way he didn't see. No way to convince him there's a mistake. Jensen's on his
knees, his breath coming fast, Matt's come probably still on his face and his
hands still resting on Jensen. Oh god, he's so fucked. "Jesus, I—I didn't
realize."
Jared shakes his head then, as if he's trying to shake away what he's looking
at, and then he turns and takes off.
Jensen jumps to his feet, tucking his dick back into his jeans. He didn't get
to finish, but he's got way bigger things to worry about. "Jared, wait," he
calls out, but the door bangs shut behind him.
Matt grabs Jensen's shirt as he's about to take off. "Jensen—"
Jensen brushes his hand away, doesn't wait to hear what he has to say. He has
to find Jared. He has to make sure Jared doesn't hate him, and if he does, he
has to at least make sure Jared won't tell Genevieve.
He finds Jared pacing frantically, back and forth in the hallway between the
gym and the equipment room. He looks up when he hears Jensen approaching, stops
dead in his tracks.
"Jared," Jensen says. "I can explain."
"Nothing really to explain," Jared says. "I'm no genius, but I got—" He shakes
his head, scratching the back of his neck. "What I'm saying is, you don't need
to explain."
Jensen winces. "Do you hate me?"
"What do you mean?"
Jensen meets Jared's eyes, hoping he looks a lot braver than he feels. "Just
tell me if you hate me."
Jared reaches out, his fingers pressing briefly against Jensen's swollen lips.
His eyes get dark, but he shakes his head. "No, I don't hate you. Christ,
Jensen. Of course I don't hate you."
Jensen lets out a long, relieved breath. Jared sounds like he means it.
"I'm sorry I—I didn't mean to, interrupt or…or stare or…" Jared stops and
shakes his head again. "But how could you not tell me something like that? I'm
your best friend."
"There's nothing to tell," Jensen says. "It's just," he shrugs, "I don't even
know, okay? I wouldn't have known what to say."
"You're gay," Jared says, which makes it sound so easy, and it's not, it's not
that easy at all.
"Maybe," Jensen replies.
"It sure looked like—" Jared shuts up when he sees Jensen's face. "I'm sorry,
I'm sorry." He scrubs a hand over his face. "I'm just surprised, okay?"
"Yeah," says Jensen. "Me too."
"Does Gen know?" Jared asks.
Jensen steps forward, grabs Jared's hands. "No. And you can't tell her. Jared,
please promise you won't tell her."
"Jen, you know she won't—you can't actually think she’ll love you any less."
"I know she won't. I just. I'm not ready to tell…anyone. Definitely not her,
okay?"
"How could you keep something like this from us?" he asks again.
"I don't even know what it is. We're in high school, man. Aren't I allowed to
be confused?"
"Of course," Jared answers, putting a hand on Jensen's cheek and speaking in
that comforting tone of voice he's perfected. Fucking Jared is being perfect,
and Jensen just wants him to stop. That's what got him in this mess to begin
with. "But we can help you understand. We can at least try."
"It's not that big a deal. I didn't want to bother you guys with it."
Jared frowns. "Yeah it is a big deal," he says. "We're supposed to be friends.
I tell you everything. I would never keep something like this from you."
As if Jensen wanted to hear—in excruciating detail—just how far Katie Cassidy
let him go last homecoming.
"Jared, it's not like that."
"What's it like then?" he asks coolly.
Jensen looks away, unsure. Jared turns his back and walks away.
Jensen doesn't follow him, doesn't bother with the pizza party. He calls his
driver to come pick him up and heads for the bleachers to wait. He finds Matt
sitting there, waiting for him. Jensen didn't realize just how much attention
Matt put into learning his habits. It makes Jensen feel even lousier. Here Matt
is, knowing what he would do and where he would go, and Jensen doesn't know
anything about Matt except his first and last name.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Matt asks as Jensen sits next to him.
Jensen laughs shakily. "God no," he says. "Have a feeling I'm going to have to
anyway."
Matt doesn't say anything for a long time, and Jensen thinks he's actually
going to be let off the hook. Then Matt looks away from his hands, up at
Jensen. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"
Jensen averts his eyes, but he nods. What the hell's the point in lying?
Anyway, it feels kind of nice to admit it.
"So, I was…"
"I never said—"
"No, I know," Matt says. His voice is quiet. Sad. Jensen is a shitty person. "I
thought maybe you were just scared about the guy thing. I thought maybe
eventually you'd get over that."
Jensen shrugs.
"I like you," Matt says. "I mean, I actually like you. We could maybe try…you
know? If you think you could like me, too. I bet you could get over him."
Jensen rubs his hands on his jeans. "No," he says. He looks up at Matt. "I'm
sorry. But I'm not gonna get over him."
"You're not even going to try?"
"I've tried."
Matt doesn't look like he believes Jensen in the least. "So this is going
nowhere, huh?"
"Not even to the equipment closet," Jensen says. "Not anymore."
"Yeah, don't think it would make much sense for either of us at this point."
There's a honk from the parking lot, and Jensen grabs his backpack. "I'm sorry.
For what it's worth."
Matt shrugs. "It wasn't all bad for me," he says, his smile playful and almost
genuine.
Jensen smiles back. "Thanks for understanding," he says, which sounds so stupid
once it's out, but it's too late at that point.
Matt dismisses him with a wave of his hand. "I hope things turn out for the
best," he says.
Jensen doesn't say anything in return. It’s about then he realizes the sad look
on Matt's face is more pity than anything, and that gives Jensen an
uncomfortable twist in his gut.
***** Chapter 2 *****
     [https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4566/37929212345_87925c5615_o_d.jpg]
"If you two are done kissing," Genevieve is a little wobbly on her heels, and
Jensen smirks, glad he's not the only one well on his way to drunk, "I've got a
dance card to fill."
Jared smiles, taking his hand off Jensen and slipping his arm around
Genevieve's waist. "Oh?"
"I finished the daddy-daughter dance tradition. I am free of all bad song
choice and familial obligation," she says, sounding way too proud of herself.
"I require some fun now, before I fall asleep and my charming husband spends
his wedding night jerking off."
"By all means," Jensen says, waving a hand. "Take him away. I can't stand him
in my sight any longer anyway."
Genevieve smiles, leaning forward and taking both of Jensen's hands. "Sir, you
misunderstand me. My chosen bride, while awfully pretty, can’t dance worth
shit. I need you, Jensen. You're light on your feet and rarely end up standing
on mine."
"Hey!" Jared says. "I am a totally adequate dancer."
Jensen laughs, pulling her in. "Your bride is delusional," he tells her.
She grins. "I know. But his hair, I swear it hypnotizes me."
Jensen smiles, leading her to the dance floor. "You gonna let me lead this
time, little sis?"
Her body is flush against his, and it's a testament to how high those heels are
that she is able to rest her head on his shoulder. "Anything you want."
Jensen kisses the crown of her head, taking a deep breath. He knows she means
that and wishes he wasn't the kind of person who would take advantage of it.
The kind of person who already has taken advantage of it.
        _______________________________________________________________
He can hear every word they shout. It shouldn't be the case—their room is on
the other side of the house, and the place is definitely more than big enough.
But they're really going at it, yelling so loud Jensen's surprised their
throats haven't burst yet.
He turns over in bed, pushes his extra pillow over his ears. It helps a little
but not enough. All Jensen wants to do is get to sleep. He doesn't care if they
fight, though he doesn't get why they bother to talk at all if the one time
they do it all year ends like this. Jensen is about ten minutes away from
marching down the hall and telling them to take it elsewhere. He's got a test
in the morning.
He hears his door creak open, but he doesn't bother turning over. The screaming
gets louder as soon as the door is open, but then it closes with a click.
"Jensen?" Genevieve whispers. "Are you awake?"
He sits up. "Like I have a choice," he says, smiling a little for the second
before he sees Genevieve's face. She looks scared and sad and shaken, and half
of Jensen wants to ask why it bothers her at all—it's not like either of them
has ever believed their parent's marriage was anything but convenient—but the
other half reaches his arms out, and Genevieve runs into them. He wraps around
her, squeezing into the hug, and Genevieve hides her face in his shoulder.
"Hey," he says quietly. "Hey, it's okay. What's wrong, Gen?"
"I don't want them to fight," she says. "If they fight, they'll get divorced,
and if they get divorced I'll—" She looks up, biting her lip. "I don't wanna
lose you, Jen."
"You're not losing me," he promises, stroking a hand through her hair. "Not
even if you want to."
"You say that now, but if you move back to California you'll have a whole new
life and I won't be in it and eventually you'll forget about—"
Jensen laughs. "Come on, Genevieve. Don't be stupid."
"It's not funny," she says. "It isn't. You don't care because you don't need
me, Jensen. But no one's gonna take care of me if you don't."
Jensen frowns, tugging so that Genevieve looks up at him. "You really think
that's true? You think I don't need you?"
She looks away. "I know I ask for a lot," she says. "And I know you don't ever
say no, and I know you think you don't mind, but it annoys you and you'd be
better off without me and if you go away you'll realize that."
Jensen shakes his head. He's pretty sure he's never heard Genevieve lacking for
confidence before, and he doesn't like it. It makes him wonder what he did
wrong. And it's not like she's all wrong—sure, there are times Jensen gets
tired of doing everything and wishes he could have a life of his own, but not
seriously. Taking care of Genevieve is what he does, it's all he does, and he
needs that much more than she needs to be pampered. He's not about to draw
attention to that.
It feels like a good time for a subject change.
"It's not an issue," he tells her. "It would cost Frank too much to get
divorced, and it would make Mother look bad. They wouldn't ever go through with
it."
"They've never fought like this," Genevieve says, hiding her face against
Jensen's chest again.
He holds her closer. "It doesn't matter," he promises. "I'm gonna be right here
no matter what they do. I'm gonna stay right here with you. She can't make me
leave. She wouldn't care enough to try if I said no."
Genevieve sniffles, rubbing her face against him. "I know. Deep down I know
that, but when they're fighting like this, it makes me think crazy things."
Jensen feels himself smiling a little as he lets go of her. That's something he
can fix. "C'mere," he says, relaxing back into bed and lifting the blanket so
she can sneak under it. "You can stay here tonight."
She smiles, curling up in his arms and relaxing her back against him.
"Just go to sleep and don't think about anything, okay?"
She nods, and it's not long before he feels her breathing get deeper as she
slips further into sleep. It's not long before Jensen's out, either.
It's the clichéd dark and stormy night the next time she does it. Outside rain
is pounding his window, and there's a loud clap of thunder, a bright flash of
lightning, and a body standing in the doorway to his room, light from the
hallway framing her.
She walks up to the bed and sits on the edge. "Can't sleep," she says. "I'm
scared."
Jensen shrugs, moving back to make room for her, and sleeps a little better
knowing she's with him.
Then it's a nightmare. She doesn't tell him what she dreams about, but she says
he's in it, and she sounds shaken, and well, what the hell. It would just be
mean to turn her away. She slides in next to Jensen, her hands roving over him
quickly, as if she's checking to make sure he's in one piece, and then she
sighs with relief and he wraps his arm around her and they don't stir again
until the morning.
She starts having a lot of nightmares. She starts coming in on nights Jensen is
pretty sure there's no rain and telling him the storm is keeping her up. He
knows it's full of shit, but he lets her get away with it. It gets to the point
where she stops making excuses, and Jensen stops trying to fall asleep before
she's snuck her way across the hall into his room.
Maybe it's weird—okay, it's definitely weird. They're too old for this, he
knows that. But it makes them both sleep better. It makes them both happy. It
makes Genevieve happy. Jensen doesn't see any reason to make it stop.
At least, not until the morning he wakes up rock fucking hard with his baby
sister's ass pressed up against his dick.
It's…kind of an uncomfortable situation, and one he should have seen coming in
retrospect. Jensen is 16 years old, it's not like waking up with a boner is new
for him, and Genevieve is warm curves and girl scent in his arms. How was his
body supposed to know she's off limits when he was asleep?
Only now he's awake, and the excuse isn't really holding up, because she's
still there and Jensen is still holding on to her and he doesn't want to move.
But he has to. Fast, before she wakes up.
Genevieve makes a sleepy sound and shifts a little, and her ass rubs up against
Jensen. Fuck fuck fuck. She feels so good. She just feels so good, and it's
been so long since Jensen's been close to anything but his right hand. Before
he can even think, he thrusts lightly into her, taking a deep breath and
holding it and trying to hold his body back, too. Jensen needs control. He
needs to control this, he needs to not do what his dick is telling him to do
which is just keep thrusting.
By some miracle, Jensen manages to pull away a little. Enough to get his brain
back on track. Genevieve is lying on his arm, he can't get out of bed without
risking waking her, and he can’t wake her until he's sure she won't see or feel
how hard he is.
It'll be okay if she doesn't know.
He tries thinking about buckets of ice water, but that's not working. He tries
thinking about the old lady next door in her underwear, and somehow that's not
working either. He tries thinking about the fact that Genevieve is his fucking
sister and—Christ—that's really not working.
"Jen?" he hears. It's a soft, warm whisper, and she sounds so out of it. She
might not know yet. God, please, don't let her know.
Jensen feels like he should probably just be struck down by lightning right
now. It would make this whole thing a whole lot less awkward for everyone.
"Hey, yeah," he says, trying to fake a little sleepiness of his own.
Genevieve turns over, her lips parted, her eyebrows pulling together in
confusion. She knows. She's got to. "Jensen?" she asks again, but her eyes dart
down, so he can't pretend it's not there.
"Just need a shower," he says, trying to pull out of bed, but Genevieve doesn't
lift off his arm. She doesn't give him the out, which is just plain mean. And
then she does the last thing he expects, rolls her body against his, and Jensen
thinks he's going to die and that might be okay with him at this point.
He pulls away and Genevieve sits up. "Jensen? You're not—" She licks her lips,
and Jensen watches her, a hot pang going off somewhere dirty and low inside
him.
"I'm sorry," he says. "Shit, I'm sorry. It's just the morning and—"
"Shh," she says, pressing her fingers to his lips. "Have you ever kissed a
girl?"
Jensen isn't sure how to answer that one. He thinks about Matt, about the dry
scratch of his skin on Jensen's when he hadn't shaved. He shakes his head,
letting out a long, nervous exhale.
She smiles just a little. "I haven't kissed anyone, either."
"Oh," Jensen answers.
"Want to though."
She pushes Jensen back. He lets her, watching as she climbs on top of him.
Jensen is frozen. His little sister is straddling him, and he should be the one
pushing her away, and he cannot move one fucking muscle. She leans down; Jensen
knows what she's about to do. There's no pretending he doesn't know. He opens
his mouth for her.
Genevieve kisses him once, just a quick press of her mouth on his at first, and
they both taste like morning breath. Jensen gets a hand in her hair as she's
sitting up, pulls her down for more. He kisses her hard, kisses her like he
used to kiss Matt, deep and hungry, but it's nothing like that. Genevieve is
unsure, mimicking Jensen and slowly learning what to do as she goes. She's
shaking on top of him, so breakable, so soft, and Jensen doesn't pretend she's
Jared like he used to with Matt. He doesn't want her to be Jared. He just wants
her to be his.
"Jensen," she says, pulling away. Her breath is coming fast, and she still
looks scared, but she doesn't look angry. She's got dark eyes, and Jensen is
terrified she'll ask for more and even more terrified she won't. She swallows
hard, sitting up. "I bet you haven't touched a girl, either."
"Uh huh," he breathes.
Her fingers move up, stopping on the top button of the purple fleece pajamas
Jensen bought her for Christmas last year. His dick stirs against her back,
which is stupid, because they're probably the least sexy thing anyone over the
age of ten has ever worn. They have fucking clouds on them, for chrissakes, but
they're tight on her now in places Jensen isn't supposed to look at, and her
fingers are trembling, but she's working her way down, already on the third
button.
Jensen can just see the swell of her breasts, God, he wants to see everything.
But he doesn’t reach up to help, just watches her go at her own pace. Gives her
a chance to change her mind and get them both out of this mess if she decides
that's what she wants.
She doesn't. In about half a minute, Genevieve reaches the bottom button and
opens her shirt up, holding it like that so Jensen has a perfect view of her.
She's blushing bright red and looks away, but she's beautiful, she's so fucking
beautiful.
"Please," she says. "Want you to touch me."
God help him, Jensen does it. He cups one of her tits in his hand, thrilling in
the overflow, the way she fills him up and then some. Her eyes slide shut and
she lets out a long breath and Jensen just holds his hand there like an idiot,
not entirely sure what to do.
"Is that good?" he asks.
Genevieve opens her eyes, looking down at Jensen with her bottom lip caught
between her teeth. "Yeah, but…" She lets go of her shirt on the side Jensen is
touching, lets the fabric fall and brush against his wrist. Then she puts her
hand over his, pressing him into her harder. "Want more."
Jensen squeezes her, and she gasps, letting go of him. He pulls away, some
idiot part of his brain convinced he can stop himself now, but instead of
giving her a chance to tell him to stop, he grabs her again, fingers caressing
over her nipple.
"Oh god," she says. She rolls her body again—Jensen tries not to think about
what she's rubbing against his stomach and whether that feels good for her. His
dick gets a little of the friction, though, and it's so good.
His other hand goes up then, finds her other breast and copies the action,
hoping to recreate the success. Genevieve moans out Jensen's name. She leans
down to kiss him again as he feels her up, one of her hands holding his in
place and the other wrapping behind Jensen's head to deepen the kiss. He plays
with her, massaging her tits in his palm until he can't stand it, so he pulls
away.
"Wanna stop?" Genevieve asks, still grinding against him.
"No, God, no," Jensen replies. "I want—"
He stops. He can't ask for what he wants. He can't ask for it, but he can't not
have it, not now. His mouth is watering.
"Anything, Jen," she promises. "Tell me what you want."
He directs his eyes back to her chest, watches the pink skin as he passes his
thumb over one hard little nub. "Wanna put my mouth on you," he admits.
Genevieve groans, the hand that's in Jensen's hair tightens into a tug, and she
arches her body up, forcing his lips to find her. He takes as much of her into
his mouth as he can, his tongue playing with her nipple. She's making the most
obscene noises Jensen has ever heard in his life, and that's taking a pretty
decent amount of porn into account. A part of him is worried someone will hear
them and catch them like this. It would basically be the worst thing that could
happen but he can't care. He can't. She fucking likes this.
He lets his teeth scrape her lightly, finds sensitive skin to play with, making
her writhe. He nurses at the peak of her breast, the way he used to love
sucking on the tip of Matt's cock, and she just keeps fucking her hips against
him until it's all too much.
Jensen loses his mind, flips her onto her back and crawls on top of her. Under
him, Genevieve's eyes are blown wide, her lips parted as she takes desperate
breathes, but her fingers snake up Jensen's shirt and press into his shoulder,
and Jensen bares down on her, dry fucking her through his boxers and the too-
thick wool of her pajama bottoms.
He thinks about tearing them down, wonders if she would let him get away with
that. Wonders if she would like that. Her big brother, fucking her—really
fucking her. She must be wet by now, Jensen doesn't think it would take much to
get her ready for him, and he could slide in so easy. She's innocent now, pure
until Jensen got his hands on her, and he should probably feel guilty about
that. He doesn't. He wants to make it worse, he wants to fuck all the innocence
out of her, corrupt her until no one else will have her. Just Jensen. He wants
to leave his mark inside of her, all over her. She's his. She's always been
his. He's the only person who will love her no matter what. He's the only
person who should get to.
"Jen," she says. "Can I see you? I just wanna see your—"
"God, yeah," Jensen says, reaching down and pushing his shorts down his hips.
"Say it, baby."
"Your cock. I want to see it so bad." She leans up, whispering into his ear.
"I've wanted to for a long time."
Jensen pulls back, and Genevieve reaches between them, wrapping her fingers
around him. Her touch is slight, not like when Jensen does this himself, but he
still feels like it's a hundred times stronger than anything—hand, mouth,
cock—literally anything he's felt before.
Her eyes move from Jensen's face down to his dick, and she stares, just stares
at him for what feels like an eternity. Then her hand slips back up to his
shoulders and she drags him back down on top of her.
It's Jensen's turn to shout out her name. Genevieve wraps her legs around him,
starts grinding her hips up against his bare flesh then. She's still got the
pants on, but Jensen can't think enough to bother with them now. He just keeps
thrusting down on her, his hands all over her chest in the tight space between
their bodies, and Genevieve is panting like it's good for her.
Jensen comes, his mouth pressed into her neck and his whole body rocking with
the aftereffects. Genevieve holds him through it, still making those little
sounds that have Jensen wanting to do it all over again.
He rolls away from her, looking down at the mess he made—all over her clothes
and his sheets. Jesus, Jensen is a wreck.
"Did you—?" he asks.
Genevieve shakes her head 'no,' her hand sliding down her naked chest. "I'm
close, though."
Jensen tracks the movement until her fingers reach the elastic band around the
top of her pants, and he reaches forward, grabbing her wrist. "Can I?"
Genevieve nods slowly. She pulls back and opens her legs just enough for Jensen
to fit his hand between them. He traces his finger down the outside of her
lips, gets them wet just like that, and then he slips two fingers into her. She
makes a surprised sound as Jensen moves inside of her, unsure of what to do.
She's holding onto his bicep, encouraging him when he presses his thumb against
her clit and massages it, and telling him when his fingers are fucking into the
right place.
He feels her come, cunt clenching tight around his fingers, and his brain
nearly explodes when he thinks of how good that would be around his dick. He
kisses her as she moans her way to climax and when he pulls his fingers out,
Jensen gets the urge to lick them, find out what she'd taste like. Then he just
wants to skip the middle-man and bury his face in her.
He does neither, but he doesn't go with his other instinct, which is to run
into the shower and never talk about this again. They lie there, quiet and
contemplative, until Jensen's alarm goes off and he remembers it's a fucking
school day.
They both laugh, and Genevieve rolls out of bed, pulling her top closed over
her chest before running back to her own room.
It's not a onetime thing. Jensen knows it should be, or that it should never
have been a thing to begin with. But every time she gets into bed with him, his
hands wander. Her mouth gets greedy. They do it all the time. Jensen learns
what Genevieve tastes like, memorizes the places she likes to be touched.
Genevieve sucks dick with as much enthusiasm as Jensen used to, and Jensen
doubts he could possibly have been as good at it.
Jensen can't even feel that bad about it. Not most of the time, anyway.
"Jensen?"
Jensen sits up, feeling the smile inching up on his face. She's late tonight;
he thought she might not be coming.
"Yeah. I'm still up."
He shifts over in bed so she can climb right in, but she hesitates before
joining him.
"Babe, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," she says, laughing a little. "Nothing's wrong."
She climbs right onto Jensen, and he puts his hands on her thighs, expecting to
feel soft wool and feeling slick satin instead. Genevieve reaches out, over
Jensen, and turns on the lamp on his nightstand. She's wearing a nightgown so
skimpy, so obviously made just for taking off, that it makes him push her away
despite himself.
"Gen, what the fuck are you wearing?"
Her face falls. "You don't like it?"
Jensen looks her up and down. "Of course I like it, I have a dick."
Genevieve laughs, crawling in closer for a kiss. "Good," she says.
Jensen stops her again. "Where did you even get this?"
"At a store, you moron," she says. "Come on, I didn't go out and buy it so we
could talk about it."
"Well, what did you buy it for?" Jensen stops himself, passing a hand over his
face. "God, don't answer that. They really let you buy this?"
"I had Daddy's plastic," Genevieve replies. "I could have been a whole lot
younger and buying something a lot more interesting than a slutty nightgown."
Jensen feels himself glaring. He doesn't like it, doesn't like the idea of
someone helping her pick this out, seeing her in it, thinking of her this way.
It's pretty stupid considering what he's been doing to her regularly for over a
month now, but something about it leaving his bed makes the whole thing
horrifyingly real.
"You don't like it," she says again.
"I like it," Jensen tells her, sliding a hand into her hair and kissing her. "I
just don't like—"
"I know what your problem with it is," she says, pushing Jensen back and
climbing on top of him again. She's got that knowing smirk, the one that would
make Jensen swear she's a damn demon. "But I bought it for you, Jen. Just for
you."
He shakes his head. "You didn't have to do this for me."
"I know, but I wanted to feel…" She looks away. "Confident, I guess."
"What do you have to be nervous about?" he asks, hand trailing up her side.
She turns back to look at him, holds his gaze for a long beat before saying, "I
want you to fuck me, Jensen."
Jensen's breath stutters. "What?"
"I'm serious. I've been thinking for a while and, well, why not, right? I want
it." She smiles. "I know you want it." She takes his hands, puts them back on
her hips, sliding them up. They slip under the thin fabric easily. "I want to
give it to you."
Jensen shakes his head, pulling his hands off her. "I—we can't do that. Gen,
you're my—"
"Don't start that. If you really cared about that, you would have stopped me
when this started."
"Yeah, but this is different. This is—"
"Me taking care of you." She leans in and gives Jensen a tender kiss. "Like you
always took care of me. You don't even have to do anything, Jen. I opened
myself up already. Thinking about you inside of me. I got so wet. I had to stop
myself before I came."
Jensen lets out a pathetic sound, and he can't help touching her, feeling just
how wet she is. She closes her eyes, a happy look on her face and continues, "I
got condoms, too. Everything we need. I'll ride you. All you have to do is let
me."
He wants it so badly, knows how easy it would be to just lie back and let this
happen. God, she wants it, wants Jensen to be her first. She trusts Jensen to
be her first.
He's really done a number on her.
He flips her off of him, just like the first night, but he doesn't climb back
on top of her. He tries to scoot away, get some distance. She reaches out,
grabbing his shirt and tugging him toward her. "Jensen, come on. Don't freak
out. This isn't—there's nothing about this we haven't already done."
She's right of course. She's completely right, and that only makes this whole
thing worse. He's been letting this happen, because it felt too good to stop,
and even now—even now he's just wondering what it would feel like to mouth at
her through the satin, if she'll come on his cock before he loses control.
Jensen was supposed to protect her, not fuck her up worse than anyone else
could.
"Gen, you should go," he says.
Genevieve sits up. "Don't do that," she says. "Jensen, don't do that to me."
"I'm serious," he tells her. "I'm really not kidding, get out of here."
Her lip juts out, and Jensen can't tell if it's because she's really about to
cry or if she's faking it because that works on him. For the first time ever,
he doesn't care. There's no way making her cry is gonna be worse for her than
letting her win.
"Gen, go to your room."
"I won't ask again," she promises. "Not unless you want me to, Jensen, I
promise. Don't be mad at me."
"I'm not mad," he says, brushing his thumb on her cheek so she'll look up at
him. "I'm not mad, but we've got to stop this."
She crosses her arms over her chest, and Jensen's not sure if she's trying to
cover up or if she's just upset. "Why?"
"It's not good for you," he replies.
"Oh, come on, Jensen. You're like three months older than I am, you don't get
to decide what's good for me. I'm old enough to do that on my own."
Jensen shakes his head. That should be true. But he knows she's been depending
on him to make judgment calls for too long. He's the one taking advantage here.
"It's not good for either of us, then."
Genevieve narrows her eyes, opens her mouth to say something, and lets out a
long, frustrated sigh instead. "Can't I just sleep here? You know I sleep
better when I'm with—"
"No."
"But—"
"Gen, baby, one day you're gonna thank me for this."
She makes a betrayed face; Jensen turns over in bed, unable to stand that look
from her, and reaches out to flick off the lamp. He feels the bed shift, hears
the door open and close as she leaves. He thinks he did the right thing. Better
late than never. She never does thank him, though.
        _______________________________________________________________
Dancing with Genevieve is easy. Almost second nature after all their years of
etiquette and dance lessons, grooming for high society neither of them is ever
going to fit into or even want to try fitting into. Still, this was one thing
Jensen always loved, and he gets carried away. He doesn't know how long he's
been wrapped around Genevieve before they feel something huge come between
them, and Genevieve starts crying out hysterically for help.
Once Jensen pulls away enough to get a look at what's going on, Jensen sees
that Jared has snatched Genevieve away from him and is holding her tightly as
she tries to squirm away from him. "Save me, Jensen," she cries out. "This cave
man is trying to kidnap me."
Jensen laughs. "I told you not to invite Big Foot to your wedding, didn't I?"
He looks up at Jared. "I did tell her."
"I prefer sasquatch," he says in an offended tone, somehow managing to keep his
face straight.
Genevieve stops kicking in his arms, and Jared gives Jensen a pointed look. He
exaggerates his Texan accent. "I purchased this here little lady by virtue of I
married her, and dammit, I'm getting a dance."
"That only sounds fair," Jensen tells him. He turns to face Genevieve. "That
does sound fair, sweetheart. I mean, you said, 'I do.'"
Jared lets go of Genevieve, who straightens out her dress, then turns to slap
Jared's shoulder. "Is it too late to take it back?" she asks.
"Much too late," Jensen says.
Genevieve sighs in a put-upon fashion, winking at Jensen. "Well, I guess I have
to go sacrifice my toes to Jared's shitty dancing in the name of keeping this
marriage alive then, huh?"
Jensen pats her on the back, leaning in to whisper, "I'll keep some ice in a
napkin ready for you."
        _______________________________________________________________
"No more," Genevieve cries.
Jensen looks down at the flask in his hand. "Was that about the alcohol or the
dancing? 'Cause I'll finish the booze if you don't want—"
The flask is snatched out of his hand, and Genevieve takes a long draw. "The
dancing," she says. "Jared is as graceful as 10,000 falling pianos."
Jensen laughs. "I'll take you for a spin later," he promises.
Genevieve grins, handing the flask off to Jared and clapping her hands like an
excited child.
"Man, can you guys believe this?" Jared asks. "We're really here."
"Oh god," Jensen mutters. "Please save us from the maudlin drunk."
"Maybe he'll fall asleep," Genevieve says. "Then we can draw penises on his
face."
"Ah, but how will we get him home?"
"Point," Genevieve replies.
"I'm serious, you assholes." Jared puts one heavy arm over Jensen and
Genevieve's shoulders. "We are going to graduate in, like…" Jared lifts the
hand around Jensen's shoulder, apparently trying to count off. "Soon," he
finally finishes.
"Yeah," Jensen says. "I'm ready to get the hell out of here."
"Word," says Genevieve, finishing off their alcohol supply. "High school sucks.
College is gonna be awesome."
"You're awesome," Jared retorts.
Jensen and Genevieve share a glance. The sad part is, Jared's not even that
drunk. That's just the kind of shit that comes out of his mouth.
"Thanks, honey," Genevieve says, patting him on the belly. "That's real nice."
"Let's talk about our futures," Jared says. "That's what we're supposed to do
while we're hiding from prom getting drunk, right?"
Genevieve laughs. "What is this, a shitty 90s chick flick?"
"It's at the very least a mediocre 90s chick flick," Jensen says helpfully.
Jared waves a hand at him. "Thank you, kind sir, for your continuing support."
"No problem, buddy."
"I'm going to be a science teacher," Jared says, somehow staying on point.
"Science teacher?" Jensen replies. "You’re not going to make very much money."
Jared shrugs. "I don't care. I like science. I like teaching things. I like
kids. It's gonna be awesome."
Jensen looks down at his shoes. It must be liberating, having parents who tell
you that kind of thing is okay. "Frank says I'm going to be a doctor." Jensen
looks up and shrugs. "So I guess I'm going to med school."
Jared frowns, but Genevieve cuts in before he starts on his 'you can do
anything you put your mind to' crap, and thank God for that. "I'm going to be a
princess," she says.
"That's impossible, dear. They'll never make me a prince on my public school
salary."
"Okay, fine. Prima ballerina."
"Nah, you're too old to start training for that kind of thing," Jensen tells
her.
Jared nods. "Way over the hill."
"Trophy wife?" she tries.
Jared snorts. "Think Jensen's the only one of us who can even hope to be
qualified for that."
Jensen winces, taking that more to heart than he probably should. He knows
Jared didn't mean it like that.
"He does cook pretty well," Genevieve muses. "Okay, I shall be a famous actress
and that's my final offer."
"Good," Jensen says. "That one suits you."
Jared smiles, nodding. "My girl's gonna be a star," he says, and Genevieve
relaxes her back against Jared's chest, turning her face so he can kiss her.
"You think we'll be okay in college?" she asks.
Jared smiles into her neck. "We'll be there together. What could possibly go
wrong?"
Jensen watches them as they start doing the annoying couple stuff that normal
people don't stand around to watch. He doesn't move though, he never does when
they're like this, and they never tell him to. He doesn't know if that makes
him a freak or if it makes Jared and Genevieve freaks. Jensen's gotten to the
point where he knows he'll go crazy if he lets himself wonder whether he's a
third wheel or not.
Finally, Genevieve slaps Jared's kiss away, and her eyes find Jensen's. She
looks gorgeous, black and red dress clinging to her exactly the way it did the
day they bought it. She'd taken Jensen along to help her pick it, as if she
really needed to impress Jared, and when she asked if she looked pretty in it,
Jensen told her she'd never looked more beautiful. It was a lie of course,
Jensen's seen her first thing in the morning, with her hair messy and her eyes
bleary. He's seen her the second before she comes. He knows just how perfect
she can be without her hair and makeup done up like this. But it was the lie
she wanted to hear at the time, so she smiled at Jensen and bought the dress.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Genevieve asks, reaching up to touch her
hair self-consciously. "Is my hair messed up?"
Jensen shakes his head, stepping forward to kiss her cheek. "You just really do
look beautiful," he tells her, his eyes moving over her face. She smiles warmly
and presses her hand against Jensen's cheek.
        _______________________________________________________________
It's a miracle, all things considered, that they've gotten this far. Jensen
watches them from his seat, poking at the slice of chocolate cake sitting in
front of him idly. Jared is a mess, of course. He's currently standing on poor
Genevieve's left foot, and she's making a face that simultaneously says, 'I am
being crushed under two tons of clumsy newlywed' and 'I am the happiest woman
alive' at the same time. It's a miracle her foot hasn't snapped off yet, just
like it's a miracle that they found each other and made it to tonight.
They might not have. Jensen could have ruined everything. He could have kissed
Jared and cost both him and his sister his friendship. He could have screwed
Genevieve up worse than he did—and that's on his conscience, always weighing on
him like two tons of overexcited bridegroom, but she's okay. Despite Jensen,
maybe, not because of him like he used to wish for. But she is okay. She's
gonna be happy. And despite having every right in the world to hate him, she
doesn't. She loves him, and she lets Jared love him, and that's about all
Jensen is going to get in life, which is his own damn fault. He'll sleep in the
bed he made.
There's still something worth celebrating, and that's that Jensen could have
fucked them all up, wanted to at times, and he only really fucked himself. He's
kind of proud of that. He thinks he probably deserves another drink.
        _______________________________________________________________
This is going down as the worst Christmas break in history. Genevieve agrees,
and even though Jared is denying, doing his best to stay his usual peppy self,
it's obvious he misses the usual Padalecki family traditions just as much as
Genevieve and Jensen do.
For all its luxury, the cottage Frank rented in the fucking mountains of
Colorado is way too far from civilization to have a decent nightlife, and
staying cooped up inside with his parents is not Jensen's idea of a good time.
It wouldn't be so bad if this was Jared's family, because family is what the
holidays are about, and all that Hallmark crap Jensen only buys on Christmas.
It would be perfectly tolerable if Jensen knew there was a scratchy sweater
knitted by Mrs. Padalecki sitting under the tree for him, and if he could spend
the days drinking Jared's dad's famous eggnog while watching Jared and Jeff
chase each other and break things.
But if he has to sit through one more awkward family dinner in which no one
talks because no one knows what to say, Jensen is just going to scream.
At least Frank and Mom have the decency to go skiing during the day. Jared and
Genevieve have just as little reason to go outside as Jensen does, and as much
as he loves their company, he is going to snap pretty soon. It's been years,
not since they first got together—and that was in fucking high school—since
Jensen has been this miserable about their relationship.
Okay, maybe Jensen's the one who's fucked up over this. And maybe Jared and
Genevieve don't know what they're doing to him, but fuck, it's not all on him.
They could be a little subtler. Anyone with eyes would have known where Jared's
hand was under the table, especially after one look at Genevieve's face. If
their parents weren't so out of the loop all the time, they surely would have
noticed, but no. It's just Jensen and the love birds, so he gets to be the one
twitching across the table, trying not to look over, or drop his silverware
just for an excuse to go down and watch them.
He's really trying not to think about them like that. But cabin fever combined
with the two people in the world he wants most combined with the fact that
those people can't stop fucking for five goddamn seconds? Jensen is not a
freaking saint.
He flees the table as soon as lunch is done, doesn't bother waiting to say
goodbye to his parents before they hit the slopes, certainly doesn’t give Jared
and Genevieve a chance to get a glimpse of him, half hard in his slacks because
of them. He just rushes to the study in the front hall and runs into the
bathroom. Hell, he doesn't even take the time to close the door.
Cold water. That's what he needs. He needs a whole lot of cold, cold water.
Something to wake him up, and freeze his brain so he can't think about how wet
his little sister gets when you touch her.
Jensen splashes his face a few times, shuddering as the spray hits him. It's
working, too. At least it's a start. He's not as turned on, and he's pretty
sure in a minute or so he'll be ready to go back out and find Jared and
Genevieve watching TV, and he'll smile and say something about how the next
time Frank complains that they never let him have holidays and that's not fair,
they really need to ignore him. They'll play some drunken board games until
they pass out, and everything will be fine.
Unsurprisingly, Jensen's perfectly acceptable plan gets destroyed. He hears
talking from the hallway, Mom and Frank leaving and Jared and Genevieve telling
them to have fun, and then the door closes.
Jensen turns off the bathroom light, about to walk out and meet up with Jared
and Genevieve, but he hears giggling and another door closes, and he looks
through the crack in the bathroom door to see Genevieve pulling Jared in for a
kiss.
"Jesus," she says. "I thought they'd never leave."
Jared laughs, pushing back down to meet her lips, and Jensen gets that this is
his cue. He should step forward and announce himself before they get too
comfortable.
And he will. In a second. They just—they look so happy and he doesn't want to
bother them. Yeah, that's it.
Jared pulls away, walking Genevieve backwards until she's up against the wall,
and she smirks. Jensen has a full profile view of them, best angle he could
wish for. Fuck fuck fuck.
"You were torturing me through that whole meal," she says against his mouth.
Jared smirks. "Deserved it. You know what that sweater does to me."
The smug look on her face says it all for her. And it's weird, the sweater is
not what anyone would think of as sexy. It's a bright red holiday sweater with
white stripes and brown moose that Jared's mother must have knitted for her the
Christmas before they started college. Now, two years later, it's tight across
her chest in a way that's impossible to ignore, and paired with the pleated
skirt she should not be wearing in the freaking mountains in the middle of
winter, it's pretty obvious she wasn't torturing Jared by accident.
Now she's begging, and Jared's not looking like he's going to disappoint. He
crowds in even closer to her, his hands on her thighs, and as they push up to
grab her ass, all her skin gets put on display for Jensen. She's not even
wearing underwear, which shouldn't surprise Jensen after what he witnessed at
lunch, but it does. And he can't stop staring, can't quite remember why this is
something he should look away from instead of getting harder than he already
was to begin with.
"Come on, Jay," she says, all that younger sibling impatience that Jensen knows
is his fault. "Waited enough."
Jared growls, turns her around very suddenly, so she's got her tits pressed to
the wall where her back was and her ass sticking out, his erection pushing
against it. He pushes the sweater up over her head, along with the shirt under
it, and tosses them to the side. Her bra comes off quick and easy and he puts
his hands over her tits, keeping them covered and warm. She closes her eyes,
moaning as he massages them.
She used to love that when Jensen did it, and apparently she still does.
Jared's hands move on her just enough that Jensen gets an occasional flash of
nipple, and that's it. It's not like he can announce himself now. He reaches
down, pulls his dick out, lets it get fully hard in his fist.
"Jared," she gasps. "Give it to me."
Jared pushes her skirt up so it's resting on her back, doesn't bother taking it
off. He undoes his jeans and puts his fingers in her quickly, checking to make
sure she's ready. Jensen's eyes rove immediately to his friend's dick—big, so
big Jensen's jaw aches, his mouth nearly watering—because, shit, he's been
thinking about it since he was a kid.
"Jesus," she whines. "You know I'm wet, just fuck me already."
Jared lines his dick up with her cunt and thrusts in fast and rough. She gasps
in surprise, hands grasping at the wooden panel on the wall she's bent in front
of, and Jared leans in over her body. "Don't tell me what to do," he says, in a
hot, dark voice.
Jensen nearly whimpers. Jared starts fucking her with slow, deep jerks, and
Genevieve bites her lip, pushing back into it. It's everything that works about
them; Jared's the only person who can keep Genevieve in check, the only person
who puts her in her place and gets away with it. It used to surprise Jensen
that his sister put up with that from him after they started dating, but he
gets it now. She's practically melting.
"Oh God, Jared, yeah. Fuck me."
Jared laughs. "Such a slut for me," he says, leaning down to kiss her.
Jensen stops his hand on his cock, about to get angry. About to want to punch
anyone who'd dare say that to Genevieve, but she laughs, writhing against him
shamelessly. She's proud of it, and Jared knows. He knows what she likes, what
she wants to hear. He knows what he can call her and what he can't—Jensen
doesn't. Jensen's the one who should be punched right now, this is not for him.
She starts getting loud, and Jared pauses for a second, giving one last
seemingly involuntary shove. "You gotta quiet down, baby," he says. "Jen's
still here."
Genevieve pushes back onto him, letting out another loud moan. Jensen nearly
laughs. He used to have to work his ass off to keep her quiet, and that was
with their parents in the same house.
"Shh. Come on. What would you do if he found us, Gen?" He lets go of one
breast, brings his hands up to her mouth. "What would you do if your big
brother saw you like this?" He thrusts again, and pushes his fingers between
her lips. "Tell me what you'd do."
She doesn’t answer him. Instead she swirls her tongue around the digits in her
mouth, making a content sound, and starts sucking away at him, her cheeks
hallowing.
Jensen remembers that, too. She's sucking Jared like she used to suck him, and
Jared starts fucking her again, throws his head back and starts groaning so
loud, it's sort of defeating the purpose of shutting Genevieve up.
Jensen comes into his fist, just barely swallowing the curse that tries to
escape from him. Jared's still got one of Genevieve's tits in a big hand, the
other in her mouth, and he's speeding up, his movements becoming jerky.
"Gen, I'm gonna—"
She makes an encouraging sound, and Jared lets go, one last loud moan as he
empties into her, bringing her in so quick and hard. "Hope Jensen didn't hear
that," he whispers against her neck.
Genevieve loses it, if the way her hands scramble against the wall is any
indication. She used to grasp at the sheets like that when she came.
God, Jensen shouldn't know that. Shouldn't have watched that. Shouldn't have
liked it. His whole fucking life is shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't. Just once,
it feels kind of nice to say fuck you to shouldn't.
Jared pulls away, a wet sound as he slides out of Genevieve and tucks himself
back in. Jensen almost wants to complain. Just a few more seconds to look at
him wouldn't hurt anyone. Genevieve turns in his grasp, wrapping her arms
around his neck as he leans down to kiss her. He rests one hand on her side and
strokes her cheek with the other, and she smiles.
"That was good," she says.
"Mmm," Jared agrees. "You cold?"
She laughs. "Not yet, but I will be."
He steps back, giving her room to bend over—and now Jensen's got a view of how
raw and fucked out she looks, and Jesus, it's not like he needed more jack off
material today. She comes back up with her bra and shirts in one hand, and
Jared helps her put them on.
"Drunken Scrabble or Monopoly?" she asks.
Jared laughs. "Let's let Jensen choose."
Jensen watches them file out of the room and figures he should wait a minute or
so before making a run for the kitchen, pretending he'd been there the whole
time. He cleans off his own mess, making sure he looks presentable, and takes a
deep breath.
He knew they did that all the time. But he really didn't need to see it. Jensen
is never going to get over them now.
***** Chapter 3 *****
     [https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4529/37929212445_f20d34fb95_o_d.jpg]
"Those good?"
Jensen doesn't look up. The voice isn't familiar, and it's not making any damn
sense, either. "Huh?"
"I've been watching you for a bit. That's like your fifth drink. So, I'm
guessing they're good."
Jensen glances at the man in the chair next to him, which had been empty the
last time he bothered checking. He tilts his head, long-forgotten memories
flooding back, and damn near laughs as he realizes who he's talking to. "Well,
I'll be damned. Matthew Bomer. Straight out of freshman year."
Matt grins. "Jensen Ackles. Love of my teenage life."
"Damn," Jensen says. "I haven't seen you in—you don't look a goddamn day
older."
"Wish I could say the same for you." Matt smirks. "Father Time did a number on
you, huh? I really dodged a bullet letting you go before you fell apart like
this."
Jensen snorts. "God, don't tell me you actually think this is worse than when I
looked like a lesbian."
"You were a really hot lesbian," Matt says before shaking his head. "I'm
kidding of course, you look incredible."
Jensen smiles briefly, eyes flicking back to Jared and Genevieve as soon as
there's a lull in conversation. There's a quiet laugh from Jensen's right. "You
still in love with your sister's man?"
Jensen shrugs, taking another long sip. "You don't know the half of it."
Matt frowns. "I don't imagine you want to talk about it any more now than you
did ten years ago?"
Jensen cuts him a glare. "And you would be right."
Matt fidgets a few more seconds, then scoots his chair out, about to stand.
Jensen turns, holding out a hand to stop him, and Matt obliges, taking his seat
again.
"Do you have plans after this?" Jensen asks, licking his lips, making sure his
invitation is clear. Matt looks good—really good—and Jensen could use a
distraction tonight. "We could get nostalgic."
Matt gives Jensen a sad smile, lifting his left hand. Gold ring. Of course.
"Sorry, man," he says. "I've got a partner now. Family. The whole shebang."
"That's great," Jensen says, and he means it, too.
Matt smiles. "I think so, but I'm pretty biased."
"They here tonight?"
"Nah," Matt says. "Kids are too young. Left the ball and chain taking care of
them."
"Ah," says Jensen as he swirls the amber liquid in his glass. "So why are you
here then?"
Jensen's not trying to sound like a dick, but Matt must know why Jared invited
him, it's not like they were ever close. He should have just not shown up.
"I figured you might need someone to talk to."
Jensen tries to hide his eye roll as he finishes his drink. "Well, I'm good,
but thanks."
"Yeah, alright." Matt rises, patting Jensen on the back. "It was good seeing
you, man."
"You too," Jensen replies. He's not even sure if he means it or not.
        _______________________________________________________________
This is not a big deal. Jensen reminds himself for the fortieth time today that
this is definitely not a big deal. Because that's not making him more stressed
out about it at all.
It's almost like introducing a girl to his parents, only worse, because he
actually values Jared and Genevieve's opinions, and this is the first time he's
ever liked anyone enough to do this.
He's pacing. What if he doesn't know Danneel well enough and this is a huge
mistake?
He likes her, though. He actually likes someone who is not his sister or dating
his sister, and that is something to hold onto right there. Besides this isn't
a big deal or anything. It's just a baseball game.
And if they don't like her, it's not like she won't get plenty of chances to
redeem herself, this is just first impressions.
Only, if they don't like her, there's got to be something wrong with her. Why
would they both be wrong?
Jesus, Jensen, he tells himself. Grow a fucking backbone.
"Hey, you." Danneel opens the door to her house, smiling brightly. She's got a
pretty smile, with a silly little gap in it that always makes Jensen's pulse
skip. He really does like her. It's sort of a huge deal. "Right on time as
always."
She gives Jensen a quick kiss on the cheek and reaches back into the house to
grab something. She plops it onto her head before Jensen can see what it is,
and then smiles excitedly. "What do you think?"
Jensen can't help smiling back. She bought a damn Rangers cap, even though
Jensen knows she doesn't care about baseball at all, and shit, she's trying.
Maybe she's nervous, too. Jensen probably talked Jared and Genevieve up a
little too much. That sounds like something he would do.
He tugs her in, laughing as he kisses her. "That's perfect," he says. "Let's go
before we're late."
She nods, closing the door behind her and locking it. "I'm so excited," she
tells him, and Jensen can't help feeling a little optimistic about the whole
thing.
The drive to the stadium isn't long, though parking's a hassle as usual. It
doesn't matter, they've got season tickets, and Jared promised to save a seat
next to Jensen's for their guest. It's not hard to find them—Jared towering and
Genevieve in the same outfit she wears to every game, an amalgamation of every
piece of Rangers merchandise she has ever worn during a win. Because leaving
something out would just be asking to lose, apparently.
"Hey, loser, we thought you were gonna miss the start," Genevieve says in lieu
of a proper greeting.
Jensen rolls his eyes. "Danny, this is my sister Genevieve. I'm sorry in
advance."
Danneel gives a shy sort of wave, and Genevieve just nods in acknowledgment.
"And this is Jared. Genevieve's boyfriend. My best friend."
Again, Danneel tries to be friendly without pushing anything, but Jared leans
down to hug her.
"It's so great to meet you," he says. "Jensen never shuts up about you."
It's kind of a lie, but Danneel gives Jensen a warm look before turning back to
Jared, so it's an appreciated lie. "He talks about you guys all the time, too,"
she replies. That part is not a lie. Jensen is going to work on that. He knows
nothing about relationships, but he's going to try. Really. This is what normal
people do, and Jensen can be normal.
Jensen can totally stop playing third wheel to Jared and Genevieve. Okay, so
it's going to take some work. But he can do it. He's gotta. He's not far from
going crazy.
It starts off pretty great. Jared asks all the standard "getting to know you"
questions and is probably as genuinely interested in her answers as he acts.
Genevieve is oddly silent through it, but it doesn't have to be a problem. She
shushes Jared and Danneel as soon as the game starts, but, well, baseball is
just not something the three of them talk through. Danneel is smart enough to
figure that out.
Jared nudges Jensen at the start of the seventh-inning stretch. "What do you
say we go get some snacks for these ladies?" he asks. "I'm sure they're both
hungry."
Jensen shrugs, turning to Danneel. "Beer and a hotdog?" he offers. "I'm afraid
this won't be our classiest date."
She laughs, tucking a hair behind her ear. "Sounds great," she says.
Jared gives her one last smile and then tugs Jensen away. He walks in a rush,
Jensen trailing behind him, and turns as soon as they're out of the stands.
"Well, that's unexpected," he says.
"What?" Jensen asks. "You don't like her?"
Jared shakes his head. "I think the question is do you like her?"
Jensen looks back, then up at Jared. "Would she be here if I didn't?"
Jared watches him for a long time, a scrutinizing look on his face. Finally he
shrugs. "She's just not what I was expecting when you said you were bringing
someone named Danny."
"What are you trying to say?"
"She's not really your type," Jared answers. "Is she?"
Jensen laughs. "Is this about that time you caught me sucking dick in high
school?"
"Isn't it, Jensen?" Jared turns to look at him. "Because it's clear she really
likes you, and if this is about making yourself believe something, you should
not be dragging that poor girl into it."
"That poor girl is my girlfriend," Jensen snaps. "I'm not allowed to change my
mind in five years?"
"I just want to be sure that—" Jared cuts himself off as they take their places
in line. "Look, Jensen, you didn't exactly seem out and proud at the time, and
you've never told Genevieve. You've never introduced us to anyone. So if this
is about trying to be presentable, I am begging you, for everyone's sake, just
this one time, don't let your fucking stepdad decide how you're gonna live your
life."
Jensen scrubs a hand over his face. "Look, Jared. I like her. And yeah,
sometimes I like guys, but sometimes I like girls, too. Maybe it's a little
easier for me to introduce her to people than it would be if there were a guy,
but there isn't a guy. There's Danneel, and I'm with her because I want to be."
Jared stays quiet until he hands his bills over to the vendor and moves out of
the crowd, back toward Jensen as he walks to their seats. "Okay," he finally
says. "In that case, I like her."
If Jensen had any illusions about coming back to find that Genevieve and
Danneel clicked while they were gone and are suddenly the best of girlfriends,
it's immediately clear that was not the case. Both of the girls are sitting
down, two empty chairs between them, looking bored. If they talked at all, the
conversation must not have been a very good one.
But Danneel smiles as soon as she sees Jensen returning, so he puts on a smile
for her, despite his reservations. Jared scoots in past her, and both of the
girls stand up to take their drinks and hot dogs.
"So, Danneel," Jared says as he puts the arm that isn't still holding his beer
around Genevieve's middle. He's already eaten the hotdog. Typical Jared. "It's
really awesome to have you here. It's usually me and Genevieve and then
Jensen—"
"And fifteen of his closest beers," Genevieve says before taking a bite.
Jensen and Jared both laugh, and Jared adds, "Me and Genevieve and Jensen and
fifteen of his closest hotdogs."
Danneel looks down at the hotdog in her hand, then up at Jensen, a look of awe
and horror on her face. "You eat fifteen of these things?"
Jensen rolls his eyes, about to explain, when Genevieve gives her a catty
smile. "It's a joke. You didn't get it."
Danneel's face falls, a hurt expression for a moment that only gets covered
with an awkward one. "Oh," she says, clearly lost for words.
Jensen sees Jared tighten his hand around Genevieve's waist, a nonverbal be
nice that just gets a muted eye roll from Genevieve before she turns her
attention back to the field.
"I totally got fifteen once," Jared says, trying to do damage control.
"Actually I got twenty, but I could only eat seventeen of them."
"Oh how I wish that was not a true story," Jensen says, playing along. "The gas
on the way home."
Jared laughs, flipping Jensen off as he focuses on the game.
Jensen can tell Danneel's still a little shaken, so he leans in to whisper,
"Hey, it's a stupid inside joke thing. It's not even that funny. I hardly
remember how it started. It's just something we do."
Danneel nods, giving Jensen a weak smile and cuddling into him. Genevieve looks
back over, a venomous, bitter stare, and Jensen can't help thinking that he's
not the only one who's going to have to work on this whole him-not-being-the-
third-wheel thing.
        _______________________________________________________________
Jensen glances over every now and then. The chair next to him, the one he'd
happily forgotten about until Matt stopped by, is now glaringly empty. The spot
Jared and Genevieve reserved for his date. Paid for, not that money is really
an issue, but the empty spot feels like some kind of really shitty symbolism in
Jensen's current state of intoxication.
He can see the first half of Danneel's name printed on the card before the rest
disappears, hidden behind the centerpiece.
There is not enough alcohol in the world to get Jensen through this wedding.
        _______________________________________________________________
"What do you mean break up?" Jensen asks. He sounds like a fucking echo, but
seriously. "What did I do?"
Danneel sighs. "It's not you," she tells him, and Jensen decides that if she
actually tries to use this line on her, he is going to scream. "It's them."
Jensen is all ready to respond, but that was not what he was going to reply to.
He stops with his mouth hanging open, blinking stupidly. "Huh?"
"Jared and Genevieve," she clarifies. "I can't do this anymore."
He takes a seat at the table opposite her and reaches out to grab her hand.
Surely he can make her come around on this. Jared is nothing but sunshine and
rainbows around Danneel, he's so nice to her it's almost terrifying. When
Jensen watches them, he has the sneaking suspicion Jared is just relieved to
have him figured out, because that much niceness, even from Jared—it's not
natural.
And Genevieve—okay, she's not a sweetheart. Her and Danneel never made buddies.
But she's been trying, trying so hard for the last year or so, and maybe
Danneel just doesn't know how to appreciate that because she isn't one of them.
Genevieve never learned to share Jensen, it's not like it comes naturally. But
she's trying and Jensen's tried so hard, and that has to count for something,
dammit.
"You're dumping me and I didn’t even do anything?"
"No, I'm dumping you because there are four people in this relationship, and I
consistently feel like I'm the least important one."
"But," he says, "she's my sister. He's my best friend."
Danneel sighs, pulling her hands back. Away from Jensen. "And I'm your
girlfriend, Jen. Sometimes a girl wants to come in first."
Jensen stares down at the surface between them. Quiet, because there's nothing
really to say. Jensen already has a first. He has two firsts. And two firsts
has been more than enough trouble, there's just no room for three firsts.
Danneel sighs. "Goodbye, Jensen." Her chair makes a terrible sound as she
pushes it back and stands, grabbing her coat.
Jensen stands, too. "Danneel, wait. You can't just end this after a year and a
half, nothing has changed. I—" He licks his lips. "I love you."
He really wishes that hadn't come out like a question.
She shakes her head, looking sad. "I know you think that. And I'm sorry—I am
sorry for you. I'm just not going to wait around until I'm sorry for me, too."
Jensen reaches out to try and stop her again, but she pushes past him, gets her
hand on the doorknob. "I don't know what the hell it is you want, but I really
hope you get it."
Jensen looks away. He's pretty sure she wouldn't mean that if she knew.
"Danny—"
"Don't call me, okay?"
Jensen nods, but the door has already shut behind her.
He doesn't see her again for weeks. They bump into each other at the library,
waiting in the checkout line. Danneel says hi, so Jensen says hi back, and they
have a brief conversation about classes before Jensen blurts out, "I miss you."
"No you don't," she tells him. "You never even tried to get me back."
Jensen feels his eyebrows drawing together. "I thought about it. All the time.
But you said you didn't want me to."
Danneel laughs, giving him a pat on the shoulder. "All you had to do was call,
Jensen," she says. "If you really missed me, you would have known that."
The librarian calls for the next person in line, and she gives Jensen one last
tight smile before leaving him to stare at the wall and realize that—oh. Right.
He gets it now, but he didn't get it before. He never in a million years would
have thought of that, and that's as clear a sign as any. Whatever Jensen tells
himself, there's no hope for normal. There's no way he's ever going to fall in
love and get married. Even with his heart broken, he's got Jared and Genevieve,
and that means he's never going to look, he's never going to care, and if he
gets dumped, he won't really be missing anything. He's always going to be
missing something, but that's not the same.
Jensen is broken and stuck and fucked through and through, and knowing that
there's no hope for fixing it is oddly refreshing.
        _______________________________________________________________
Jensen will say this for the bridesmaids: they don't give up easily. It was fun
and even flattering two hours ago, but Jensen has gotten enough drinks in his
system to start rudely rejecting every damn person who asks him to dance, and
he's not even the least bit tempted to change that.
Jeff's daughter Lea runs up to him, tugs on his pants leg and begs to dance
with Uncle Jensen (there is no Uncle Jensen—there's Uncle Jared and now even
Aunt Genevieve but no Uncle Jensen), and even standing up just to indulge the
goddamn five year old is a trial.
It means he has to get closer to them, means he can see even more clearly than
if he was back in his seat staring the moment that Jared starts to lean in and
whisper to Genevieve, making her get flustered and visibly excited. Jensen
watches her excuse herself from the dance, run to the bridesmaid table to
collect a few girls to help her get ready for her wedding night. He waits until
Jared is on the other side of the room—smirking as he says his 'goodnight's and
'thank you's and works his way eagerly from one guest to the next, clearly
trying to get out as quickly as possible—before sending Lea back to her dad and
doing his best to slip out quietly.
Jensen is happy for them, and he knows they deserve this night, but there are
few things in the world he wants to do less than stand around and go through
the motions with Jared knowing where he's going and what it's going to mean.
He's got a suite upstairs, anyway, and he's fairly certain he's had enough to
pass out for a few hours.
        _______________________________________________________________
"You had something to tell me," Jared says, stumbling through Jensen's bedroom
door, all his words coming out so rushed and out of breath that Jensen almost
can't understand them. "I have something to tell you, too. While Genevieve's
still out. Or ask you, I guess. Something to ask you. But you asked first. Go
ahead."
Not that Jared is ever a particularly calm individual, but this is a new level
of fidgeting. "Uh, Jay, you look like you're going to bust a vessel if you
don't get whatever out of your system."
Jensen closes the door behind him, and Jared nods, dropping onto Jensen's bed
like it's his own. God, Jensen hates when he does that. And loves it. Which is
why he hates it.
"Okay! I'll go first. Because I decided today. And, Jen, I want you to be the
first one I tell. I want—I'm going to ask Frank, too, but just as a formality,
because I know it's you I should be asking and you're the one whose answer I
care about and I understand and will respect if you say no, you know? Because
if anyone knows what's best at a time like this, it's you. And don't worry, I'm
not crazy, I'm going to wait until next month to ask her. After we all
graduate—"
"Jared. My life is not going to last forever. Spit it out."
Jared swallows hard and digs into his pocket, pulling out something so small
Jensen almost can't see it in the enormous palm of his hand. At least not until
he holds it out, and Jensen sees the sparkle when it catches the light.
"Jesus Christ!" Jensen says. "Is that a—?"
Jared nods. "Jensen. Can I have your sister's hand in marriage?"
Jensen bursts out laughing, and Jared looks like a kicked puppy, but he can't
stop himself. For at least a minute, he just laughs and laughs, until he has to
sit on the bed next to Jared just to stop himself from falling over.
"You done now?" Jared asks once Jensen's calmed down.
"Almost," Jensen says, still laughing a little.
Jared's face is bright red. "Jensen, I was serious."
"Stop it. I'll start laughing again."
Jared just sits there, giving Jensen a look that's supposed to be upset, but
combined with how nervous and twitchy he is, he just looks constipated. Jensen
doesn't laugh at him again, but it’s a near thing.
"Was that you laughing because you won't give me your blessing and it was dumb
of me to ask?"
Jensen gives Jared a light shove, rolling his eyes. "Well, yeah, it was a
pretty stupid thing to ask. But of course you have my blessing, you moron."
Jared gives Jensen one of those giant smiles and then grabs him into a hug. He
holds on longer than Jensen was expecting, and Jensen breathes him in.
"My best man?" Jared says, pulling away but keeping his hands on Jensen's
shoulder.
Jensen meets Jared's eyes and smiles. "I'd be happy."
And wow. They're hugging again. Jared should ask to marry Jensen's sister all
the time if it means this much physical contact.
Or, you know, never. Never would be good too.
Jensen tells that stupid, stubbornly selfish voice to fuck off already. He's
never seen Jared so happy, and if he knows his sister—(Jensen knows his sister
better than anyone should know their sister)—at all, she'll be just as
thrilled. And they'll spend the rest of their lives being perfect and balancing
each other out, and they'll have gorgeous, floppy-haired children, and Jared
will try to impose order, and Genevieve will undo all his hard work, and there
will probably even be white picket fences and rosebushes, because Jensen is
just that unfortunate.
"You had something to tell me," Jared says after a long time. "What was it?"
Jensen bites his bottom lip. He can't do that now. He can't ruin Jared's mood,
Jared is about to be engaged for God's sake. If he's going to have to go back
to worrying that Jensen is in love with him, or is a repressed homosexual, or
whatever tensions it is that makes Jared so psychotically happy that Danneel
exists, it can wait one more night.
Jensen will break the news about Danneel some time when there's less to
celebrate.
        _______________________________________________________________
Jensen has every intention of passing out in a drunken, miserable stupor. He
thinks he's earned that much, because he got through all of tonight, and he
didn’t say anything wrong or stop smiling or butt in when the priest said
'speak now or forever hold your peace.' And really, who the fuck thought it was
a good idea to toss that into the marriage ritual to begin with? Talk about
tempting fate.
As usual, Jensen is grumpy and alone, and he's not even allowed to be grumpy
and alone in peace.
"Don't you have somewhere better to be?" Jensen stumbles into his room, letting
the door slam shut behind him. "Aren’t you supposed to be fucking my sister?"
"Jesus, Jensen," Jared says, standing up and crossing the room in two quick
strides. He catches Jensen. "You're trashed."
Jensen really wishes that were true. It feels like he's had half his weight in
alcohol tonight, and his brain is still infuriatingly clear. "It's a wedding,"
he says. "Everybody's trashed."
"Not like this," Jared says, taking Jensen to his bed and helping him down.
Like Jensen's too stupid to do it on his own. He slaps Jared away. "I've been
watching you all night, Jen. And maybe you fooled everyone else, you even
fooled Genevieve, but you're not fooling me."
"Fooling you about what, Jay?" Jensen laughs. "Go take care of your wife."
"What's wrong?" Jared asks. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I need to pass out and there's a giant in my room who won't let me?"
"Jensen." He holds onto the collar of Jensen's jacket until Jensen has no
choice but to look at him. "Is it me?"
"The giant? Yes."
Jared sighs. "That's not what I meant. Are you unhappy because of me?"
Jensen tilts his head. "I don’t understand the question."
"I'm not good enough for her," he says. "You don't think I'm good enough for
her."
Jensen laughs. "You're the only person who's good enough," he says. "If you
just weren't good enough—well, I could just say, 'he's not good enough' and
feel a little better, but no. You two are the only people on the planet who
deserve each other, so go and have your perfect life and leave me alone."
"If that's not it, what is?" Jared makes those sad eyes Jensen hates. "What
could possibly have you like this on our wedding night? Is it about Danneel?"
Jensen shakes his head. "I can't do this tonight. I promised myself I'm not
going to ruin your wedding night. So, Jared, please leave." Jensen feels his
voice cracking, but there's no help for it. "The last thing I want to do is
ruin this for you."
"How can I enjoy this when I know you're—?"
"Don't say that," Jensen says. He pushes his face into Jared's jacket. "I'd
rather die than ruin this for you. But I can't." He slips his fingers under
Jared's lapel and shakes him. "Jared."
Jensen puts his hand in Jensen's hair. "Yeah, Jen. I'm here."
"What's wrong with me?" he asks, looking up. "I know she's perfect. I know why
you choose her. But why couldn't you choose me?"
Jared stares down at him in shock. "That…that's what this is about?"
Jensen shakes his head. He pulls away. "Nothing. I didn't say anything."
Jared put his hands on Jensen's face, holds Jensen's gaze. He speaks very
slowly, as if Jensen's a moron or something, "Jensen, are you in love with me?
Is that what this is about?"
"If it were that easy," Jensen starts, but he stops himself. He can't let this
get any worse, and there's really nothing worse than 'I'm also in love with
your wife.'
"I never chose anyone," Jared says. "I couldn't pick between you, I never would
have. Sometimes I was sure and then something would happen and I'd change my
mind all over again. Gen made the choice. She kissed me, you never kissed me."
Jensen shakes his head. "No," he says. "That's not how it happened. Don't let
that be how it happened."
"I thought—after I caught you with Matt, I thought…if you wanted me I would
have been the obvious choice, right? And since you clearly liked guys and you
never even tried kissing me I thought you just didn't see me like that. Maybe
saw me as a brother or something."
"Like that would be a deterrent," he mutters.
"Her too?" Jared asks.
Jensen swallows, he pulls back, lets Jared get a good look at his face. He's
not saying it. But Jared's his best friend, and Jensen is so tired of hiding.
"I think I knew that one," Jared says.
"You don't hate me?"
Jared laughs, but it's a sad kind of laugh. "How could I blame you?"
Jensen shakes his head, looking down at his hands. "She's my sister, Jay. I'm
sick."
"No," he says. He lifts Jensen's chin. "God, how could you not tell us any of
this? How could you wait to bring this up tonight of all nights?"
Jensen almost wants to cry. Because there it is. Worst fear, confirmed. This
was supposed to be the happiest night of Jared's life, and Jensen spoiled it.
"I didn't mean to bring it up. Not ever."
"We don't keep secrets," Jared says. "You never got that about us."
And then he does the last thing in the world Jensen expects. He leans over and
presses his mouth to Jensen's, and Jensen kisses back for much longer than he
should before he pushes Jared away.
"What are you doing?" he says. "Jesus, man, you just married my sister!"
Jared jumps to his feet like he doesn't even know what came over him. "I don't
know," he says. "Shit!"
"Do it again," says a voice from the door, and Jensen feels his blood freeze.
He never even heard her open it. There's no telling how much she heard.
"Gen," Jared says, turning to face her. "What are you doing here?"
"A girl gets bored waiting for her wedding night," she says.
She standing in the hallway in a lacy white almost-nothing, and if Jensen
thought she was wearing naughty underwear when they were teenagers, this is a
whole new level. It's fucking see-through, and half of Jensen wants to throw a
blanket around her shoulders and lecture her for walking down the hall like
that. But her confidence, the fact that she doesn't care, god, that's his
little sister. The white is almost comical on her—she's no one's blushing
bride, and Jensen wouldn't want her any other way. Not that he's supposed to
want her, but that is really kind of moot by now.
"I can explain," Jared begins at the same time Jensen says, "It's my fault."
Genevieve lets out a laugh and then gives them both a stern look. She's really
not fucking around. "Less explaining," she says. "Jared."
He looks up at her; Jensen can see how scared he is.
"Like we always wanted." She gives him a sweet smile. "Kiss him again. Please."
Jared looks back to Jensen, his face all questioning, as if Jensen is going to
be the one to say no. As if Jensen hasn't been dreaming of Jared wanting to
kiss him since he was, what, 12 years old? He reaches out, bunches his hand in
the crisp white shirt under Jared's tuxedo jacket, and tugs him in.
Genevieve watches them kiss for a while before Jared pulls away, giving Jensen
another quick kiss, his hand pushing over Jensen's cheek. Then he reaches out,
and Genevieve steps closer until she's standing right next to them. Jared leans
down to kiss her, and Jensen just watches until…until Genevieve puts her little
hand on the back of his neck, and Jensen doesn't know if he dives down or if
she pulls him. Business as usual. What matters is that his lips crash into
hers, and Jared's mouth is there, too, and it's a sloppy confused mess but
that's okay with Jensen.
She stops kissing, and Jared and Jensen take the cue, pull away so that they're
all three of them staring at each other, their lips parted and their cheeks
pink. Jensen should go.
"What are we—?"
Genevieve shoves Jensen. It's not what he's expecting, so it catches him off
guard enough that he trips over the end of the mattress and falls back onto it.
Jared smirks, kissing her, and they just stand there kissing for Jensen to
watch.
It's not like he doesn't want to watch, but if that's what this is going to be,
Jensen can't let himself stay for it. He already knows how good they look
together. It's just torture to keep rubbing it in.
In front of him, Jared's fussing with the lingerie, trying to get it all off.
Jensen watches him fumble through it, making no progress, until finally
Genevieve laughs into his mouth and starts stripping the underwear away.
Jensen's dick is straining against his pants. He rubs himself as Jared reaches
between Genevieve's legs, and she closes her eyes, hands on her own breast over
the elaborate lace. She doesn't say anything as Jared hides his face in her
neck, but she looks over at Jensen, her eyes dark.
They flick down to his hands, and he knows what she wants, and he doesn't know
how not to give it to her. Jensen pulls down the zipper of his pants, hand
slipping into his underwear. He pulls his cock out, lets her see it as he
starts to stroke himself.
"Stop," she says. Jensen doesn't know if she's talking to him or to Jared. They
both obey, Jared tugging his mouth from her skin and his fingers from her cunt
and Jensen's hand is a frustrated, still pressure on his aching dick.
She rises to her toes, gives Jared a quick kiss on the cheek, and then she
leaves him standing in the middle of the room, his eyes tracking her as she
approaches Jensen.
"Hey, Jen," she says, her mouth in a lopsided smile.
"Hey, baby," he replies.
She bites her lip, looks down at him. "We have some unfinished business."
Jensen swallows hard and nods, sitting back on his hands. She straddles him,
sinking down onto him. Jensen gasps, immediately sitting up, his face meeting
her chest, and he hides against it, gasping. Shaking. Jesus, he's been waiting
for this so long he almost wants to cry.
"It's okay," she says, holding him against her, fingers stroking the back of
his head as she rides him. And fuck, that's supposed to be his line, but right
now, with her hot and wet around him, Jensen can't be the one to comfort. It's
really her, and it's really, really fucking good.
She keeps the pace slow. Jensen doesn't move, doesn't thrust up into her. He
wants it exactly how she wants it. At least until she pulls off of him, too
soon, much too fucking soon.
"Gen," he says, reaching out for her, but she shakes her head.
If she regrets it—if this was a mistake—Jensen doesn't know how he's going to
process that.
"Want you both," she says.
And Jensen thinks that's a kind of obvious statement at the moment, until
Jared's eyes widen and Jensen realizes exactly what she meant by that.
Jared licks his lips. "You sure you can take that?"
Genevieve laughs at him—that's it, just laughs at what Jensen thinks is a
perfectly reasonable question.
"Stand up, Jensen," she says, her eyes still locked on Jared. She's working at
the ties on her top, and Jensen stops her hands once he's standing next to her,
undoes them for her.
"Thanks," she says. As if he's doing her a favor. He watches as she pulls the
thin fabric away, lets it drop at their feet. She's naked, and Jensen doesn't
feel right leaving his little sister all exposed like that unless everyone is
just as naked.
It's also possible he just wants an excuse to walk up to Jared, start pulling
down his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt as if he's confident about this
instead of silently having a panic attack. Genevieve leaves them to it, crawls
onto the bed while they undress each other and spreads herself wide fucking
open at the end of it.
He gets to his knees to take off Jared's pants, just to get a nice, close view,
and Jared doesn't stop him when he runs his tongue up the length of his dick.
Jared is already hard, but Jensen figures it won't hurt, and he's more than
happy to do it.
"Gonna need a lot of—fuck, Jensen," Jared says, his hands suddenly pushing
Jensen onto him so deep that Jensen has to pull off.
"Lube?" Genevieve supplies.
Jared nods and Jensen rises to his feet, wiping his mouth. They're both staring
at him, and Jensen only remembers they're in his room after a few seconds of
wondering why.
"Please tell me I am not going to have to get dressed again and go to the
honeymoon suite," Jared says.
"I've got some," says Jensen. "Sorry."
He picks up the slack then, tripping over his things to dig into his bag. When
he comes back up, lube in hand, Jared and Genevieve are making out on the bed.
Jensen strips the rest of his rumpled clothes and steps forward, immediately
pulled into the kiss. He gets his hand wet with lube, then wraps it around
Jared. Jared returns the favor.
"You ready?" Jensen asks, turning to look at Genevieve once he and Jared are a
slippery mess between the two of them.
She nods, spreading her legs again. "Jensen first, then you join him?"
Jared nods, and Jensen just looks at her. Even when he used to bury his face in
her cunt, it was always with the lights off, with an urge not to look, as if
that would be more of a violation than sticking his tongue in her. Now, Jensen
takes half a minute to stare at how wet and stretched she already is.
"Come on," she begs.
Jensen nods, dick slipping into her for the second time tonight. She makes a
content sound, and Jared doesn't wait long before he's working his fingers in
next to Jensen's dick, opening her up more.
"God, oh God," she says. "Jared, yes."
Jared nudges Jensen to the side a little, and Jensen gives him as much room as
he can. He pulls out, lines his dick up against Jared's, and they push into her
again, nice and slow, easing. Together.
She makes a loud, surprised sound, then bites down on her knuckles.
"'s it okay?" Jensen asks.
She groans, trying to open her legs more, and Jared and Jensen both put and
hand on opposite sides of her pussy, getting that last bit of space.
She smiles, turning her head into the bed. "God, you guys. Fuck, oh god."
"Can we?" Jared asks, letting himself bottom out. Jensen feels Jared's skin
sliding against his dick and can't help his own responding thrust.
"Fuck yeah," she says. "Fuck me."
They do. Jensen tries to keep it slow, worried about how much she's taking. She
just keeps asking for more, though, and Jared gives it to her, and Jensen wants
to, too. So he does, pounding away at her until he has no idea how they haven't
broken her yet, and he kind of wants to break her, and judging from the sounds
she's making—because all instruction or ability to say anything at all has been
lost to her at this point—that's exactly how she wants this to end. It's not
hard to make her come the first time, the clench of her cunt around them causes
Jensen's brain to stutter. It was already a tight fit, and fuck that's good. He
can feel Jared right next to him, his cock huge and hot as a brand where it's
touching Jensen's. Jared keeps turning his face, catching Jensen's skin with
his lips.
Between the two of them working at her, she comes one more time before Jensen
can't hold back anymore, and he spills hot come inside of her. Jared curses,
fucking faster into all the sudden wetness, and when Jensen pulls out and drops
onto the bed beside them, Jared forgets all control, gets on top of her and
wraps her around him and thrusts so hard and so fast he's done inside of a
minute.
He sits up to look at them, Jared and Genevieve are staring up at the ceiling
like they've just seen God, and Jensen's pretty proud to have been a part of
that.
"That," Genevieve says, hardly managing the one word. She takes a deep breath
and starts again, "That was the best way to spend a wedding night ever."
Jared agrees only by making a content sound and turning over in bed. "Jensen,"
he says, half into a pillow. "We're having a sleepover in your bed."
"That's okay with me," Jensen says, though Genevieve's already asleep and Jared
seems to be well on his way. He settles down and wraps his arms around
Genevieve and holds on as tight as he thinks he can get away with.
He wakes up the next morning with his little sister sprawled all over his bed,
and for a moment, he thinks he's sixteen again. But the surprise of it jolts
him up, and he sees Jared sleeping next to her, the gold rings on their
fingers. Last night floods back on him in a glorious wave of sweaty limbs and
tangled kisses.
He should not be here. Or rather, it's his room—they should not be here. But
there they are and they look happy, and Jensen can't argue with that.
All he can do, really, is try to leave quietly, never bring it up again, and
let them live their lives. He got one night, which was more than he ever
expected, and maybe it'll hurt him more in the long run, but he'd rather get
gone and keep the memory sweet. Before they wake up and he has to see their
faces as they try to explain that he was something they needed to get out of
their systems.
He doesn't move, though, not for a long time. Not until Jared rolls over and
catches Jensen watching them, one hand resting just under Genevieve's breast,
and Jensen can only imagine the saccharine look on his face.
"Morning," Jared says in a sleepy slur. He blinks a few times, then smiles
warmly as he follows Jensen's sightline. "She sure looks like an angel when
she's out like that, huh?"
Jensen laughs. "Yeah," he says. "Too bad she wakes up sometimes."
"Mmm," Jared agrees. He kisses Genevieve's shoulder, though she goes right on
sleeping like the dead. They both look at her a few seconds longer, and then
Jared says, "We're lucky guys."
"You're a lucky guy, Mr. Cortese."
Jared frowns. "You're really gonna try to do that, huh?"
"Do what?"
"You know," Jared says, tossing his blankets aside and sitting up in bed.
"Don't act like you weren't planning to sneak out of here. Leave us with all
that self-sacrificing bullshit of yours."
"Who's sneaking?" Jensen asks. "I was planning to get out of your hair."
Jared sighs. "You're a fucking asshole."
"Thanks, Jay." Jensen swallows, then starts to get out of bed himself. "It's
always nice to hear."
"Jensen," Jared says. "Get back in bed. Let her wake up with you for once."
"It's not a good idea," he says. "None of this is a good idea."
"Why not?"
"Because it's not—"
"Normal?"
"Sustainable, Jared," Jensen replies. "Because eventually you guys are going to
start a family, and we can't do this forever, and I can't get used to it and
lose you."
"I love you to death, man," Jared tells him, "but you should probably know that
you're an idiot."
Jensen glares, but Jared just keeps going, "How do you not get it yet? Because
you really don't get it. I mean, you have just completely missed everything for
the last, like, twenty years."
"What are you talking about?"
"You are part of this, Jensen. You are part of us. We've already got a family,
you're a part of it. Gen and I? I mean, we're happy, but we're not…right. It's
not right. Not without you. Last night was the only time—"
"Jared—"
"There's always something missing. And I thought that was just for us. I
thought you wanted something else, so I went on and tried to be supportive and
pretend I was okay with Matt and Danneel. Jesus, I've been struggling to keep
Genevieve in line because I thought that's what you wanted. But you want us. So
I'm not letting you leave us."
"Not even if it's best?"
"Best for who? God, you have all these ideas in your head about what you should
do to make everyone happy. Just once, do what you fucking want. Everyone will
be a lot happier for it."
"You say that now. But if we try this and it doesn't work—"
"How could it not work?" Jared points at Jensen and then at himself. "You are
Jensen, and I am Jared, and this lovely lady right here," Jared shakes
Genevieve awake, "this is Genevieve."
Genevieve opens one eye. "What'd I do?"
Jared ignores her. "So what's not going to work?"
Jensen shrugs. "I don't know, Jay. Something."
"You know, in my head, you're off trying to make it big with your guitar."
Jared smiles at the idea, then shakes his head. "Jensen, I've had to watch you
give up on so many things. And I keep believing, hoping you'll make the right
choice eventually. But if you leave this time, I'm gonna…I don't know how I'm
supposed to keep believing in you."
Jensen's mouth falls open, but he doesn’t know what to say to that. Jared
always believes in him. That's just what Jared does.
"You don't just hurt you. You're gonna hurt me. You're gonna hurt Genevieve."
"I am kinda sore," she says, smiling and yawning. "What's going on?"
"Jensen's trying to leave," Jared says.
Genevieve's eyebrows draw together, but then she laughs. "No he isn't."
Jared gives Jensen a pointed look, and Jensen has to look away from her. "I…"
"No. You're not," she says, voice stern in a way Jensen's never heard it.
"Don't you guys have a honeymoon to pack for?" Jensen asks.
Genevieve's hand grabs Jensen's wrist, pulls him until he has to look at her.
He feels ashamed, and he's pretty sure he shouldn't if he's doing the right
thing. "Jensen, you're coming with us, aren't you?"
Jensen tilts his head to the side. "On your honeymoon?"
"Why not?" Jared asks. "It's the summer. Your classes don't start until next
fall."
"I'll pay for it," Genevieve says. "You've got no reason not to come."
"What are people going to think if I tag along on your fucking honeymoon?"
Jared smiles. "That I'm a spoiled bastard with two really hot spouses?"
Genevieve turns around and smacks him on the chest, then looks back to Jensen.
"Jen, seriously. Please come with us."
It's crazy, Jensen knows how crazy it is. But he also knows it's now or never,
that if he lets them leave without him, they'll come back from Hawaii closer
than ever, and with a heartbroken aloofness toward him. They'll still be
friends, sure, but he'll never get to kiss them again. Never get to touch.
Never hear those sounds.
The right answer, the one he is supposed to give, is right on the tip of his
tongue. But then Genevieve sits up, still wrapped in nothing but the bed
sheets, the morning sun filtering in and making them all but translucent. Jared
is sitting next to her now, his big hand splayed on her thigh, and they're both
looking at him as she reaches out and touches Jensen's shoulder.
Two pairs of big round puppy eyes.
There's just no way to ignore two pairs. It's a scientific fact.
***** Epilogue *****
     [https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4581/37929212185_b2f1f02101_o_d.jpg]
It's the longest hallway in history.
It's the longest goddamn hallway in the history of creation—he stopped counting
at eight turns around eight identical, white-walled corners, and he's still
getting the runaround from these damned signs he's following. There's a good
chance Jensen is in purgatory.
His phone is going off in his pocket nonstop, and he reaches down and presses
ignore for the fiftieth time because fuck, Jared, yes I know something big is
going on, and maybe I'd be there already if you hadn't chosen a maze instead of
a hospital.
For all Jensen knows, she could be in trouble and it's their fault and instead
of at her side where he promised to be, Jensen was working his rotations at
another hospital (a perfectly good one, with far fewer hallways, but no, Jared
had to insist on this one so Jensen couldn't just drop everything and come find
her) instead of taking care of her.
Jensen wonders if it's only women in labor who are allowed to threaten to punch
new fathers in the face, because if not, he and Jared just might have their
first brawl coming.
Finally, Jensen busts through a door that says maternity ward, and he feels
really pleased with himself until he looks around and realizes that he's just
busted into another goddamn hallway. Whoever designed this place is going down.
There's a receptionist's desk halfway down the hall, and Jensen is literally
running at this point and not even that embarrassed about it.
"Where is she?" he demands at the desk.
The woman working looks up at him, a little startled, and then gives him a
knowing smile. She probably gets this a lot. "You must be the father," she
says. "I'm afraid you'll have to calm down long enough to specify exactly who
it is you're looking for."
"Yes—I mean, no. I mean. I'm her brother." Jensen takes a deep breath and
starts over, a little more calm this time. "I'm looking for Padalecki."
The woman raises an eyebrow, then types something into her computer. "All
right, sir. Mr. and Mrs. Padalecki are in room 4016, but you should know that
this soon after the birth, the new parents are often not ready to receive
visi—"
Jensen's running off again. 4016. 4016. 4016. The sign says left. Left says
around the corner, and around the corner there's another hallway. Jensen is
going to go crazy.
He finally finds 4016 and it's just another in-between room, with actual
maternity rooms coming out of every side, and it's going to take Jensen forever
to find which door they're hiding his little sister behind.
He reaches into his pocket, about to return one of those 25 phone calls he
ignored, but then he catches sight of someone tall and he hears his favorite
laugh and Jared is smiling. Everything is okay, because Jared is standing right
outside of one of the rooms, talking to some short mostly bald guy who is
probably the doctor, only Jensen's too fucking frazzled right now to remember
if Dr. Kripke was short and bald or tall and strapping or a woman or what.
Jensen walks up to them—doesn't run, though it's a near thing. Jared doesn't
acknowledge him if he sees him at all, though Jensen supposes there's a good
chance he doesn't. He's got just as much right to be off balance as Jensen does
right now, not to mention that Genevieve in labor was probably not what one
would call demure. If they actually let Jared hover close enough to be within
her arm's reach, there's a good chance Jared has been punched a lot today.
"I just got to hold him for the first time," Jared is saying excitedly, and
Jensen's heart goes warm all over. It's a boy. They have a baby boy.
Jared looks over then, like he's known Jensen was standing there the whole
time. He's still turning his head back like he's talking to the doctor, but his
eyes are dead set on Jensen's and he's trying so hard not to smile. "You won't
believe me unless you look for yourself," Jared's saying, and then he winks at
Jensen. "My son already has the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen."
The End.
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