Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/8079703.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage, Major_Character_Death
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Lucifer/Sam_Winchester
  Character:
      Sam_Winchester, Lucifer_(Supernatural), Castiel_Novak, Original_Campbell
      Character(s), Jessica_Moore, Naomi_(Supernatural), Ellen_Harvelle
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_Human, writer!Lucifer, College_Student!Sam,
      Ghost!AU, Ghosts, Underage_Drinking, Haunting, Writer's_Block, Panic
      Attacks, breakdowns, Emotional_Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Near_Death,
      Ghost_Fights, Explicit_Sexual_Content, attempted_suicide
  Stats:
      Published: 2016-10-09 Chapters: 10/10 Words: 32020
****** Alone I Break ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     Lucifer is a writer with the worst possible thing: permanent writer’s
     block. In an attempt to find his inspiration again and to get out of
     his routine, Lucifer decides to visit the town his late mother grew
     up in. New Orleans turns out to be more than just a change of his
     surroundings though and when he meets the grandson of his landlady he
     can’t stop thinking about him.
     Sam is interesting. Young and cheerful and just completely sweeping
     Lucifer off his feet, but something about him isn’t right. Sam is…
     different. The two begin something that looks like an affair, but for
     Sam it’s so much more than that because Lucifer doesn’t know that the
     boy is at the edge of his life - haunted by his past and driven
     towards death with every day passing. Lucifer is his last hope, or
     maybe it’s the other way around. One thing Lucifer knows for sure;
     Sam needs him and he needs the boy with the beautiful rainbow eyes
     and the dimpled smile just as much.
Notes
     This is my entry for the Samifer Big Bang 2016 and was inspired by
     the movie Crimson Peak.
***** Writer's Block *****
Lucifer knew he was a good writer, no one had to tell him that. He had known it
since he was fifteen and won the Teen Literature Award, maybe a little longer.
It didn’t even start as something serious. When he was twelve he had an
accident, leaving him with a broken skull that only slowly healed and a broken
leg that was a pain in itself. His mother had brought a typewriter to his room,
an old one with the letter ‘p’ missing, but it was all she could do to distract
him from his long recovery somehow. Lucifer was thankful for this gesture, even
if he refused to even look at the machine for almost a week.
Then, when he woke up one night from a horrible nightmare, his eyes fell on it
again. And he wrote. For over two hours he wrote his nightmare down, in every
vivid detail he could remember. In the morning his mother had found the paper
he left in the machine and the ones next to it. She was shocked by how detailed
his story was, but also very happy that Lucifer finally found something to do
with his time. Lucifer couldn’t deny that he had fun writing, even though the
topic was very scary. But it helped somehow. Usually his nightmares haunted him
in the morning, but this time there was nothing but a pleasant calm in him
left. As if his dream was transferred to paper and didn’t exist in his head
anymore.
Over the next weeks Lucifer wrote a lot, whenever he had another dream,
nightmare or not, he would write down everything he could remember about it.
Those typed pages weren’t more than notes though, so one day his mother asked
if he would prefer a notebook to write those ideas down instead. When he
admitted the idea was good she revealed that she had already bought one.
It was a black, leather bound book, smaller than the paper he typed on, but
very beautiful. He held it in his hands for a few minutes, looked at the
wonderful paper and listened to the sound when he opened it for the first time.
It was brand new and it must have been expensive. Lucifer was out of words. He
knew how hard his mother worked to get them both through everything and
something like this meant so much, even if it was only a book. He simply pulled
her into his arms, not knowing what to say to thank her for it. But she
understood him without words.
“One day you’ll be great, Luci. You will write books and everyone will love you
like I do,” she said when she pulled back and stood up. Lucifer smiled up at
her.
When she was gone Lucifer simply stared at the book and thought about her
words. An author, he. He, who always got into fights at school, who was hated
by every other kid he knew, younger or older. And his mother believed that he
had a talent for this. She believed in him, like she always did. If he could
only write one book and dedicate it to her, he would do it.
From this day on Lucifer devoted his life to this one goal. Writing was fun, it
eased the nightmares and it made his mother happy. So why shouldn’t he do it?
While he recovered from his accident he finished the first draft for a short
story, one about a song his mother sang to him when he was younger and about a
young boy who survived his own hell with the help of it. It was far from
perfect, but he was proud of it. He didn’t believe he could actually finish
this story when school started again, but he kept the short twenty page
manuscript with him, if only to remind him that he did this.
One day, however, his teacher Mrs. Harvelle found it though and that was when
things changed. She loved the idea of the story and offered Lucifer to help him
refine everything into a finished piece. They worked for three weeks on it and
when they were done, Lucifer had a fifteen page story with the very fitting
title “The Mockingbird Song”. Mrs. Harvelle encouraged him to send a copy to
the newspaper in town, which was running writing contest at the time. He did it
only to please her if he was honest, to thank her for the help with it. He
never expected anything in return, so his surprise was big when he got a
letter, telling him that his story was selected to be not only published, but
also to enter the state-wide contest for teenage writers.
Two years later Lucifer had a little trophy to his name, declaring him the best
young author under sixteen in Maine. His mother could not have been happier,
which gave all of this a bittersweet taste. She had been sick for half a year
now, with no doctor able to really tell her what was wrong. The two thousand
dollars that came with the prize were more than welcome, as she couldn’t work
as hard as before anymore and they needed every penny they got.
Meanwhile Lucifer had written more of course, mostly short stories, but also
the first collection of ideas for a book. Almost all of his stories were
connected with the supernatural or the horrific depths of the human soul. His
mother didn’t read them anymore, as some of them truly scared her, but she was
always supportive of him, no matter what. This was just what he could most
easily write about, perhaps because his dreams still had a big influence on
what he wrote. A scary influence at times.
It was when he was eighteen that his life changed drastically. And this time it
was not for the better.
Lucifer came home from school, expecting his mother to be back from work for
lunch, but instead he found a man inside their small house he didn’t know.
Before the man even opened his mouth and explained to him what had happened, he
knew it already. His mother had an accident in the factory. One of the machines
she worked with almost exploded, he told the numb boy as he sat down on the
couch. Lucifer didn’t have to ask if she was alright. This man wouldn’t be here
if she was, he knew that.
“Did she suffer?” he asked instead and the man shook his head.
“She didn’t even knew what happened, I’m sure of that,” the man said. He
awkwardly patted Lucifer’s shoulders, but the boy didn’t care much for the
man’s attempt to console him; he just wanted him gone.
“I want to see her again,” he said simply.
“Someone will come to you this evening, you can talk with him about it,” the
man told him and Lucifer nodded silently. “I’m sorry for your loss, boy. No one
should lose their mother like that.”
“Thank you.”
Lucifer didn’t even notice that the man was leaving. Instead he looked around
in the kitchen and could only feel this numbness inside, as if the world had
just crashed down on him. In more than one point that was exactly what had
happened. His mother was the only one who always fought for him, who always
stood by his side. Now he would never see her again and this thought brought
tears to his eyes. He sank on his knees, sobbing in the empty kitchen, where
she would never wait for him again. The only human he loved and cared about was
gone and in this moment all he wanted to do was die too.
Later Lucifer could never recall what exactly happened after this horrible
afternoon. Someone must have been there, so much he knew. And he saw his mother
again, just one time. The memory of her lying there, cold and unmoving, would
never leave him. She was looking as if she was asleep, but he knew so much
better than that. He kissed her goodbye one last time and then tried to never
look back. It wasn’t what she deserved and Lucifer felt horrible for it, but
not toughen up, not locking his feelings in himself, would have destroyed him.
His mother had no life insurance, but luckily she never believed in debts and
always made sure she didn’t owe anyone even a dollar. Lucifer sold the house he
grew up in, the house he couldn’t stand anymore after the burial of his mother.
Only taking his own belongings and a photo of his mother with him, he moved
into a tiny apartment near his campus and sold everything from there. She would
have wanted him to move on, to finish college and to become a writer; and he
was determined to do exactly that.
When he published his first book at twenty-one, “Life in the Dark”, he
dedicated it to his mother as he promised. It was all he could do, but he hoped
somewhere she was proud of him for not giving up. Things weren’t easy, far from
that. After he sold the house he had barely enough money to finish school,
leaving him working on the weekends and whenever he could. He started
proofreading other people’s writing, which slowly became a source of income,
and helped him pay for the small apartment. During that time he learned that he
could live off almost nothing, if only he had a light source and something to
write on.
The day he graduated he left the town, and every single memory that he
connected with it, behind. He had a useless diploma, some money in his pockets
and a road in front of him that could lead him anywhere. For the first time
since his mother died, Lucifer felt happy. One day everyone would know his
name, he knew it. And it would not be because he beat a guy until his nose
broke. It would be because he did what he loved: writing.
---
Maybe not everyone knew him when he was thirty-five and had published his fifth
book the last year, but he didn’t mind anymore. He had his own house, his own
car and a brand new laptop; everything was good. Except for the fact that he
could not write anymore.
Right after the press tour for his latest book he started a new one, an idea he
had in his mind for over two years already. As often the story almost wrote
itself, until it suddenly stopped. Lucifer felt as if he had run into a wall at
full speed and was now just lying on the floor, unable to move. It wasn’t even
the story itself that was the problem, he looked over what he wrote a hundred
times and everything was good. The problem was something else and no matter
what he tried, he couldn’t change it.
He had forced himself to write, but it was impossible to continue the story. It
felt as if his mind was blank and the idea had never been there in the first
place. It didn’t even help when he stayed away from the book for a week and
came back. This book he wanted to write for so long now turned out to be his
personal Waterloo and he couldn’t do anything about it.
Weeks passed and Lucifer stared at his screen every day and every night,
waiting for something that wouldn’t come. He barely noticed how he went from
drinking one glass of Bourbon at night to two and then three. Only when it was
suddenly a bottle every night and his head felt like someone smashed a boulder
on it, he realized something was bad. He had always been an easy drinker, but
never an addict.
Lucifer woke up after one of those nights, his head spinning and his stomach
cramping and he knew this couldn’t go on forever. He dragged himself into the
bathroom, turned on the lights and froze when he saw the ghost that stared at
him from the mirror. Only that it wasn’t a ghost, of course not. It was just
his reflection, revealing a man he didn’t even know. His skin, usually slightly
tanned from when he wrote outside in the summer, was pale and almost grayish,
as if he was fifty instead of thirty-five. His eyes, the reason so many women
had fallen for him in the past, were not the bright blue he was used to; rather
dull and empty, like a cloudy winter sky. And god, he stank! He couldn’t even
remember when he had taken a shower the last time. All he knew was that his
blond hair, overdue for a cut, was sticking everywhere and made him look like a
psychopath on the loose.
Screwing the urge to throw up at his reflection, Lucifer stripped out of his
dirty clothes – which he hadn’t changed in over three days now – and stepped
into the shower. The hot water had never felt so good before in his life,
almost as if he washed parts of himself away. He took longer than usually,
scrubbing everything off him and even washed his hair twice, something surely
needed. When he finally stepped out of the shower he felt like a new human.
After finding some clean clothes, an almost impossible mission he figured out
very soon, he sat down on the couch and grabbed the phone. He couldn’t go on
like this anymore, he needed a break or this book would be the end of his
writing career. Lucifer dialed his agent’s number, mentally preparing himself
for telling her that he would find a new one.
“Luci, what gives me the honor?” Her rough and kind of annoying voice came over
the speaker. Lucifer pinched his nose and sighed.
“I need to cancel some readings next week. I need a break, Naomi,” he said.
“What do you mean, a break? Luci, your calendar is full! Next week you’re
speaking at the National Writer’s Academy! You can’t cancel that!” She was
shocked, as he expected, but he just couldn’t do it.
“I need a timeout. I’m worn out, getting sick, I can’t even write anymore. It’s
been two months since I wrote the last chapter.”
“Great! What do you want me to do? Tell them their number one speaker can’t
make it because he’s pitying himself?”
“I don’t care what you tell them, Naomi. I am worn out, completely. I’ll take a
few weeks off, try to find my inspiration again or whatever you want to call
it.”
“If you do this, I’ve been your agent for the longest time, Luci, I swear!” her
voice almost made Lucifer’s ears bleed now and he took the phone away from his
head to avoid suffering even more from it.
“Then so be it,” he said and hung up, without waiting for an answer.
This was exactly what he had expected and it still managed to drag his mood
down even further. He didn’t even remember his speech at the NWA, which spoke
volumes of how deep he had fallen into the rabbit hole already. Yes, he needed
a break; and it had to be far away.
Sighing, Lucifer leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes for a moment. The
theory of just leaving was appealing, but where should he go? Of course he had
enough money to stay at a hotel for months, if he wanted to, but he felt that
this would only make things worse. And he would be around too many people. What
he needed was silence and a place where he had never been before.
“New Orleans,” he suddenly whispered, not sure why at all. He had not thought
about New Orleans for almost twenty years now. It were mainly the stories his
mother had told him when he was very young that he remembered. And how happy
she had looked when she told them. For her New Orleans was a magical place. He
had never thought much about this city himself, as he had no connection to it,
unlike his mother, who had been born there. But maybe this was just what he
needed. A whole new world.
Thrilled by this idea, Lucifer jumped off the couch. If he knew Naomi, and God
knew he did, she would come over within the next days to talk some sense back
into him. She would think he went crazy and maybe she was right, but sitting
around and drinking like he did for the last weeks was just nothing he wanted
to keep doing. Lucifer had never been one to give up and he wouldn’t be now for
sure.
He turned on his laptop, closed the document that had not changed for months,
and searched the internet for a house in New Orleans he could rent for a while.
Luckily he didn’t have to pay much attention to the price, he wasn’t a
millionaire, but he could live the way he wanted to at least. At first it
seemed like he couldn’t find anything; most things for rent were apartments or
shared houses, definitely not what he was looking for. He was about to give up
and simply drive there to see what he would find, when something caught his
attention.
This small house looked like it was exactly what he needed. He would live
alone, there were four rooms, a kitchen and two bathrooms, and the most
important thing: a garden. Lucifer could hardly believe his luck when he
browsed through the photos. It was perfect, located at the Garden District, one
of the most beautiful places in the whole town, as his mother had told him. His
hands were shaking when he walked back to the living room to grab the phone.
Surprisingly, the lady he talked to was very kind and sweet. She told him that
the house was his if he wanted to rent it, he only had to do some reparations
here and there so it wouldn’t fall apart. He never agreed to something faster
in his life, promising that he would make sure to keep the house in good shape.
Apparently the lady, Miss Campbell, lived just across the street, but couldn’t
handle the house on her own anymore. After only fifteen minutes Lucifer had a
date to get the keys from her and to make the contract. When he hung up there
was a slight smile on his face for the first time in weeks.
For the entire time it took him to pack, Lucifer thought about the
opportunities this place would give him. It was summer, the best time for just
leaving and having some time for himself. He could walk around the city, maybe
meet some new people and hopefully find something that would spark his
inspiration again. Lucifer just wanted to leave the last two months behind and
finish what he had started.
***** New Orleans *****
Chapter Summary
     Lucifer arrives in New Orleans and meets his new landlady, Miss
     Campbell.
Lucifer knew he should have taken the car, just to be more mobile while he was
away, but the plane was much more tempting and he was glad about his decision
once they were in the air. During the flight he wasn’t even nervous, more
excited than anything else. He even managed to sleep a little, something he
never could in this situation. Apparently just being away from all the ghosts
of his past books helped.
Upon landing they were already greeted by the sun, a nice change to the rainy
weather in Portland. Lucifer hummed when he picked up his luggage, only one
piece containing his most important belongings, and walked out of the airport.
Outside he just stood in the sun for a few moments, trying to remember if it
had ever felt so good on his skin before. He couldn’t, but it was no surprise.
He walked along the line of taxis, looking for a friendly face, and found one
with a young woman driver, smiling at him.
“Where you wanna go, sweetie?” she asked and leaned out of the window.
Lucifer suppressed a chuckle and told her the address he had been given before.
She raised a brow. “Such a fancy part of town, nice.”
“Can you get me there in one piece?” Lucifer asked with a smile and she nodded.
“Luggage in the trunk, you’ll be there before you know it,” she winked and
shoved herself back to the driver’s seat to open the trunk. Lucifer quickly did
as she told him before slipping into the passenger’s seat. They drove off after
a few minutes and now he did get a little nervous.
“First time in the city, sweetie?” the young woman asked after a while of
silence and he nodded.
“I needed some time off and thought: Hey, why not New Orleans?” he grinned.
“Good decision. Be careful or you won’t leave again,” she laughed as she turned
left and shook her pretty blonde head. “I came to visit my mom for a week, that
was five years ago now.”
“Sounds like a long visit,” Lucifer laughed too, now already a little relaxed
again. If everyone in town was as nice as this woman, he would love it for
sure.
“It’s great, really. And the district you’re going to is beautiful.”
“Yeah, I heard that,” Lucifer smiled and looked out of the window. The houses
and streets changed slowly and he just watched them, without thinking much. “I
need my inspiration back, maybe it’ll help.”
“Are you a painter?” she asked excited and Lucifer smiled against the window.
“I only paint with words. I’m a writer. One who can’t write anymore,” he added
with a sigh.
“You are? Wow, that’s so cool!” the woman grabbed his arm and he turned around.
They were at a stoplight. “What do you write? Maybe I know some of your books!”
“I wrote Life in the Dark, maybe you know that?” he watched as she shook her
head slowly.
“Anything else?” she asked.
“Let’s see. I also wrote Deranged, Two Minutes after Midnight, Salt and Burn
and Maria.”
She turned her head around when someone behind her honked, quickly leaving the
spotlight behind now. Somehow she didn’t looked as happy as before now.
“I read Maria. It gave me nightmares for weeks,” she finally said silently.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Lucifer frowned. It wasn’t really a surprise, as this
was one of the stories inspired by a nightmare, but he didn’t want to say that.
“I never thought someone like you could write such horrible things.”
“I never thought that either,” he shrugged.
They were in a much greener area now, the taxi going much slower than before.
Lucifer couldn’t help but agree that this place looked beautiful and when the
woman stopped in front of a small familiar house his mood lightened up a little
again.
“Makes twenty, exactly,” she said. Lucifer paid and tipped her way too much,
but he didn’t really care at the moment. When he got out of the car she opened
the trunk again and he got his luggage out. Lucifer waved when she drove off,
but she didn’t wave back. Seemed like, despite his good looks, the things he
wrote were not her thing after all. Not that he really cared, he hadn’t come
here for a girl.
Lucifer walked over the street and searched the houses for the name of the
landlady, when suddenly one of the doors opened and an elderly woman stepped
out.
“Are you Mr. Smith?” she asked, her voice weathered by age.
Lucifer smiled brightly at her and tried his best not to look too intimidating.
He was two feet taller than her it seemed, but she smiled back nonetheless.
“I am, yes ma’am,” he said and walked over to shake her hand. “I’m glad to meet
you. You can call me Luci, everyone does.”
“Luci? Kind of a girl’s name for such a big man, don’t you think?” she chuckled
and made her way down the stairs. Lucifer kept smiling, he was used to these
kind of jokes ever since he could remember.
“I can’t help but hear that all the time,” he sighed.
They walked back to the other side of the street – Lucifer carefully stopping
cars as Miss Campbell wasn’t very fast on her feet. Once at the gate of the
garden she pulled out a keychain with a few keys.
“My grandson told me which one it is, but I can never get it into this hole.
Would you mine?” she asked and gave Lucifer the key. He quickly opened the gate
for her and held it open, then did the same with the front door. Once they were
inside, he dared to look around. “It’s not in the best condition, I know. But I
can’t do much anymore myself,” she said.
“It’s perfect, really, ma’am,” Lucifer told her and turned on the lights. The
house was a little decayed, but it was nothing that he minded. The walls losing
some paint here and there, a carpet without much color and a very wild garden,
from what he noticed. It wouldn’t collapse over him and that was all he needed.
Miss Campbell guided him through the rooms, showing him what he needed to know,
before they stopped at the kitchen. She pulled some papers out of her huge
purse and put them on the table. Lucifer left his luggage in the corridor,
shoved aside a little so she wouldn’t trip later.
“You can read it first, but it’s not much,” miss Campbell said and sat down on
one of the chairs. “It’s just how much you pay each week and that you’ll keep
the house in its condition.”
“Or make it better,” Lucifer smiled and pulled a pen out. He didn’t need to
read much, just the price actually. Five hundred dollars a week wasn’t too bad
he guessed, so he signed without any doubts.
“Great. These are yours now,” she said and handed him the keys. “Garden door,
shed, two for the house and one for the attic. You shouldn’t go up there
though, it’s unused for as long as I remember and I don’t know what you might
find there.”
“No worries, Miss Campbell. I will be careful and make sure to be respectful
with your house,” Lucifer smiled. The keys fit into his pocket perfectly and he
didn’t even mind them being so many.
“I hope so,” miss Campbell said and got back up. “My grandson might come over
in a few days, to see if you need anything. I can’t make it down all these
stairs again so soon.”
Lucifer was about to get up too, to help her across the street again, but Miss
Campbell gave him a stern look that made him stop immediately.
“I’m eighty-two, son,” she said, visibly proud. “If I can survive a war and a
hurricane I can cross the street by myself.”
“Of course, ma’am,” Lucifer smiled, hiding a smirk, and watched her leave in
the same duck-like strut she seemed to have all the time. Somehow he liked this
woman already. She looked innocent and tiny, but she seemed to have a lot of
hair on her teeth.
Once alone, Lucifer trotted through the kitchen and the living room on the
other side of the corridor. The furniture was old, but, even with some paint
missing here and there, it looked like a cozy place to be. In the living room
he stopped though, frowning. Above the fireplace was a black cloth, hiding
something behind it. Lucifer expected a painting, but why would anyone cover
that up? Then he remembered the tradition his mother had told him about, and
even practiced once herself, to cover mirrors if someone died.
He reached out with his hand, not really knowing why. Someone probably just
forgot to take the cover away when they moved out, there surely wasn’t more to
it. His fingers brushed over the cloth and he almost pulled his hand back and
just walked away; but he didn’t. With one swift movement he pulled the cover
away – and jumped back with a gasp stuck in his throat the same second. He spun
his head around, heart beating as fast as never before, but there was nothing
to be seen, except the empty room. Slowly he turned back around and looked into
the mirror again.
When he looked into it for the first time, right after the cover was gone
completely, there was a girl standing behind him. Maybe twelve, judging from
the split second he saw her, with long blonde hair and half of her face
missing. Her mouth had been open in a scream and she was almost completely
covered in blood. The one eye that was still there had glared at him with anger
and sent chills down his spine, even when she was gone again. Now he only saw
himself, even paler than before, and his eyes as wide as a window.
“Okay… keep it cool, Lucifer,” he muttered to himself and tried to take a few
deep breaths. Not that it helped much, he still felt like he would just drop
dead the next second; or expected a cold hand on his shoulder.
Again he turned around, looking at the empty room and the door. He shook his
head, the cloth still in his hands, and left the room without looking back at
the mirror. Never before had he suffered from jetlag, but apparently now it hit
him hard. A girl in the mirror, please. He would find a bed now, take a nap,
and not think about ghosts and mirrors or anything even close to that.
---
Lucifer woke up from his nap two hours later, feeling much better and the girl
in the mirror was almost forgotten. He decided to start unpacking his
belongings and make himself comfortable, at least a little for now. The bedroom
was big, with an old wooden bed that was probably over a hundred years old.
With every step he took in the house he found more details that astonished him.
The ceilings were high, painted with beautiful images of angels, already fading
from age, but still stunning in their beauty. The bathroom walls were covered
with flowers and vines and the tapware was golden and filigree, with lots of
details to gaze at. In the living room, without even so much as looking at the
mirror this time, he inspected the old divan, crimson red and covered with
velvet. As he let his hand run over the soft fabric a faint smile was on his
lips. So far he noticed every room had a different color scheme, but they still
somehow fit together. The living room was held in red and browns, with hints of
gold, while the bedroom was brown and blue. Upstairs was an office of sorts,
the walls painted with a hint of green and with one wall only consisting of
books.
The last room though, it kind of worried him. Apparently it had once been a
nursery, with light blue furniture and paintings of animals on the walls. The
bed, however, was broken, almost shattered. It seemed like no one thought it
would be needed to take it out. The door to this room he closed very quickly,
deciding that he wouldn’t need it anyways. He was curious about the attic too,
but if the nursery already looked like this he didn’t want to know what he
would find there. Corpses, probably.
After putting all his stuff away, he took a look into the fridge, finding it
filled with basics that would last him for the first two days at least. Lucifer
kind of doubted that the old woman brought all these here, so it must have been
her grandson. He made a mental note to thank him when he came over and started
to make himself something quick to eat. During the last weeks be mostly lived
off pizza and Bourbon, so it was surely needed. He didn’t look like it damaged
him in any way, but he knew it did. He barely had any stamina left, which
wasn’t a surprise, given how bad things had been going for him.
Lucifer left the house walked through the streets a little after he ate. Not
far away from the house he found a park, a green oasis that drew him closer. He
found a spot under a big tree, watching children play tag from the shadows and
just didn’t think about anything for a while. It was easy there somehow. The
air was fresh, smells of flowers and grass soothing him and helping him forget
that he was in a city at all. Sure, it was hot, but he had expected it, given
how far south he was during this time of the year. His mother was right, this
city was magical. Something about this place was easing the tension in him,
made this horrible guilt he felt since he had stopped writing go away slowly.
Maybe New Orleans would turn out to be just the right place to break through
his writer’s block. Lucifer crossed his hands behind his head and closed his
eyes, simply listening to the screeches and laughs coming from everywhere.
Despite the noise, no one seemed to be in a hurry. Maybe because it was holiday
season and the kids could do what they wanted, but maybe it was just the way
this city was.
“Hey, watch out!”
Lucifer wasn’t even able to open his eyes – yet alone realize the shout was
directed at him – before something hit his head and pain exploded through every
nerve of his body. He pressed his hand against his temple, groaning as he tried
to open his eyes and focus on the boy who came rushing towards him.
“Sorry, man. That’s my fault. Are you alright?” the boy asked, stroking his
hair back.
Lucifer saw him a little blurred, but noticed unwillingly that he was an
attractive looking young man. Slightly longer, brunette hair, eyes that
sparkled in the sun like a rainbow and a dimpled smile that melted his anger
away the second he saw it.
“I’ll live,” Lucifer pressed out and even managed a painful smile. He grabbed
next to him and found the missile that hit his head; a Frisbee. He handed it
back to the boy. “Try not to kill someone with this, okay?”
“Sure. Again, I’m really sorry,” the boy said and scratched his head. “The sun
totally blinded me.”
“Don’t worry,” Lucifer groaned and dragged himself up, smoothing his pants and
dusted away some dirt. Even though he wasn’t mad at the boy, not really, his
head hurt like hell now. “Just be careful the next time.”
“What’s taking you so long, bitch?” someone else shouted behind the boy,
followed by laughter, and he grinned.
“I will. Again, I’m sorry, but I gotta go! Bye!” he waved and ran back to his
friends, already throwing the Frisbee again. Lucifer slowly shook his head and
smiled. For a few moments he watched them, especially the brunette, who was
running and jumping around like a gazelle. Somehow even this was calming. Boys
being boys, screaming at each other, laughing about one of them tripping and
just being happy. A little he regretted not being their age anymore when he
turned to leave.
Lucifer made his way back, the wonderful and bright smile of the boy still on
his mind. It had been a while since he saw someone smile so brightly, maybe
because most of his days he spent alone and he didn’t have many reasons to
smile. A little he reminded Lucifer of the book he was writing, of the boy that
had been killed off at the very beginning of it to be exact. This thought made
his own smile fade and he wished it never occurred to him. Of course he always
imagined his characters, but imagining this happy and spirited boy, who was
almost a kid, being slaughtered was different. It felt wrong somehow.
When he arrived at the house he found a note on the garden door, from Miss
Campbell. Apparently her grandson would come over the next day already. Lucifer
shrugged and went inside. The next day, the next week, he didn’t mind. Even
with this strange trail of thoughts from before this place was so much better
than he expected when he got on the plane.
That evening he spent like every other, staring at his laptop and the blinking
cursor in his document. The only difference this time was that he didn’t mind
too much. He felt that something was changing and even if it wasn’t happening
yet, it would soon. It was almost as if his muse had winked at him today, like
a promise that it would come to him if he waited. And Lucifer decided to wait,
as long as he had to.
***** Sam *****
Chapter Summary
     To Lucifer's surprise his landlady's grandson, Sam, is not a complete
     stranger to him. He can't really say what it is, but he likes the
     college boy from the first second. Sam is so different, cheerful and
     interesting, that Lucifer doesn't even realize how he's slowly
     falling for him.
“Nana, I’m home!”
Miss Campbell stuck her head out of the kitchen door and inspected her grandson
closely. The look on her face spoke volumes and he grinned sheepishly.
“If you dare come in with these shoes I will disown you, Samuel,” she warned
him, swinging a wooden spoon. “Go get a shower, dinner is ready soon.”
“Sure, Nana,” Sam said quickly and slipped out of his shoes before running
upstairs to do as she told him. He knew his grandma wasn’t angry at him, she
just had the habit of being a neat freak, nothing he really minded. Just
yesterday he came back from college and she had already complained how tall he
was and how thin and how long his hair had become over the last months. If he
didn’t lock his door at night he surely would have woken up with a new haircut
in the morning.
After a quick shower, and changing into some shorts and a loose shirt, he came
back to the kitchen and helped his grandma set the table. Usually there wasn’t
much talking while they ate, Sam’s grandma preferred the silence, but today she
had news.
“The man I rented the house to, he arrived today,” she said and Sam looked up
at her.
“You rented the house to someone?” he asked, blinking confused. Sam knew full
well how picky his grandma was when it came to the house she was raised in, so
hearing she let someone else live there was more than surprising.
“Don’t look at me like that, Samuel,” she said and shook her head. “I can’t
live there anymore and it’ll fall apart if no one takes care of it. So I
decided to rent it to people who are handy, it’s an easy solution.”
“But… aren’t you worried, Nana?” Sam asked, more silent this time. “What if
something happens?”
“Nothing will happen,” she snapped at him, narrowing her eyes. “And I forbid
you to talk about these things. This man is a stranger, he’s not from here. If
you tell him anything he might leave and I need to find someone else. You know
no one from this city will rent it.”
“Of course not, they all know about it,” Sam huffed and rolled his eyes. Now he
was worried though. The house looked like any other, but like many houses in
New Orleans it had a story – and almost a life on its own – that wasn’t very
nice. Sure, if nothing happened it would be alright, but what if?
“Stop thinking about it,” miss Campbell said after a while of silence, trying
to smile. “Tell me about Jessica, she’s your girlfriend, right?”
Sam’s face lost all its color at her words and he swallowed his bite down.
“I-I don’t want to talk about her, really,” he said quickly and hurried to
finish his food. His grandma was persistent and he didn’t need this right now.
“Did you break up?” she asked and Sam shook his head unwillingly.
“Not really. It’s… complicated, Nana,” he mumbled. He couldn’t tell her, not
yet at least. The wound was still too fresh to talk about it, every time he
tried it only hurt more. “Another time maybe, okay?”
“Children, really,” miss Campbell scoffed, but luckily she stopped asking.
Sam finished his dinner without saying another word and cleaned the dishes
afterwards. Whatever he could do to help his grandma, he happily did it. She
might be a little difficult at times, but she was a sweet person and he didn’t
mind helping her out. When he went to his room at about nine in the evening,
she told him that he should go over to her guest the next day to see if he
needed anything. Sam agreed, without even thinking about it, and wished her
goodnight.
From his window he could see the house across the street, a light in one of the
upper rooms was still turned on. Sam wondered if the man had experienced
anything strange already. He knew his grandma tried to push those things away,
she was too old to really invest herself in the spiritual world anymore, but he
had been in the house often enough to know it only looked normal. His grandma
had had good intentions, but he worried if the man could stay there in peace.
During the last years nothing bad happened over there, but he knew that this
could change very soon.
A cold wind brushed over Sam’s neck, causing him to shiver in the darkness of
his room. He closed his eyes, trying not to turn around. He didn’t want to see
anything now.
“Just go away, Jess. You don’t belong here anymore,” he whispered.
For a few seconds the cold stayed, then it was gone as fast as it had appeared.
Sam leaned his head against the window and sighed. It wasn’t the first time,
and it wouldn’t be the last, that he just wanted to cry himself to sleep. Not
telling his grandma was one thing, as much as smiling. But this was different.
Sam didn’t want to sleep yet, even though he laid down on the bed and closed
his eyes. Once again the memory of Jess’ body flooded his mind, of her
beautiful blonde hair, covered with dirt and blood. She was so young when it
had happened, so full of joy and happiness. When he saw her in the cold of the
coroner’s room there was nothing of that left. She’s asleep, he had told
himself on his way there and even when he saw her. She’ll wake up and this will
turn out to be a horrible mistake.But Jess didn’t wake up. Not when the pastor
talked about her dreams for the future, not when they let her down into the
eternal darkness of the grave. She didn’t wake up and somehow, without knowing
how, Sam managed to live on without her.
Weeks had passed before Sam had seen her again, but when he did he had been
frozen in place, unable to even blink. Jess had just stood there, at the other
end of the library, and looked at him. She wore the white dress she was buried
in and the blood was still in her hair, even though her face was as before.
Somewhere under her blonde mane was a shard of glass piercing through her
skull, the reason for her death. He couldn’t see it, but he knew it was there.
Something always stayed.
She had disappeared as suddenly as she appeared, but from that day on she came
back often and Sam hated it. Ghosts existed, he knewthat, but knowing Jess was
one too, that she couldn’t let go, was too much. She deserved heaven, a place
without pain and worry, not this horrible limbo between worlds. And now she had
followed him here. That was the worst thing that could have happened. She
wasn’t a ghost that was tied to a place, like most others he had seen. She was
tied to him and no matter where he would go, Jess would follow him.
Without even knowing it, Sam had started to cry into his pillow. Silent tears
of loss and sorrow that wouldn’t dry anytime soon. It wasn’t fair, none of this
was. They had had plans for the future, they had wanted to travel and see the
world, enjoy life. And from one second to the next she was ripped out of this
life and away from him, without a warning. If only he could make her leave, get
her to move on to the other side. But no matter how often he tried, she never
left. Jess was alwaysthere, waiting for him to come back to her so they could
be together again. It wasn’t that he didn’t love her anymore, part of him would
always love her. He just couldn’t go on like this forever and the most horrible
thing was that she knew he couldn’t. Slow but steady she was driving him to the
point where he would choose herover life.
That thought scared Sam much more than anything else ever had. Because he knew,
if it kept going like this, he would give into her wishes sooner or later. He
needed something else, a way out of all this, but he had no idea how to find
it. Jess was just always there… waiting for him to love her again.
---
Lucifer woke up in the middle of the night, not on his own though. Noises from
the attic woke him, noises he tried telling himself were not footsteps or
something similar to them. As much as he tried though, in the dark he couldn’t
convince himself; those were footsteps, loud ones. He stared at the ceiling and
thought about the day before, about the girl in the mirror. Suddenly he wasn’t
so sure that a jetlag was responsible for what he saw. But ghosts, little girls
or not, were just fantasy. He might write about them and make his readers
believe they could be real, however, he was a rational human being; he didn’t
believe in the things he wrote about.
The footsteps, or whatever they were, vanished after a few minutes, but Lucifer
couldn’t fall asleep again for a while. In the morning he would laugh about
himself for being such a scared baby, he knew it. It was probably just the
house itself making these noises. Old houses worked, they lived, especially
when they were as old as this. When he finally fell asleep again it was an
uneasy one, without any dreams.
He stood up early, way before he usually got out of bed, blaming this on the
fact that he didn’t drink the last night like he used to. Getting up early had
its perks though, he couldn’t deny it. After a long shower and a big breakfast,
Lucifer grabbed a book from the office room and searched for a spot in the
garden that he could use to read a little. There were a few chairs in the shed,
one of them already broken, but the others in perfect shape, even though
drained off their color. Lucifer took one of them outside with him and sat
down. It wasn’t too hot yet, a little wet maybe, but bearable. Soon he forgot
the world around him and dived into the selection of short stories he had
chosen.
Surprisingly, Lucifer didn’t hear when someone called out, probably because
people were walking by and talking all the time, he didn’t know. When he
suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder though, he jumped up from the chair,
almost expecting to see the girl from before again. When his eyes fell on the
boy in front of him, a face so familiar that his head started to hurt again,
his jaw nearly dropped.
“You?” they both asked at the same time, both as shocked as each other.
“Y-You are the one my grandma rented the house to?” Sam asked with wide eyes
and Lucifer nodded slowly. He would have expected anyoneto come over, just not
the boy from the Frisbee incident.
“And you’re the famous grandson, huh?” he said and dropped the book onto the
chair.
“I guess so,” Sam chuckled and held out his hand. “Sam Winchester, nice to meet
you, officially.”
Lucifer took the boy’s hand, smiling. “Lucifer Smith, but you can just call me
Luci.”
“No, not Luci…” Sam mumbled. He narrowed his eyes, the grip around Lucifer’s
hand tightening slightly. Lucifer gave him a confused look; something about
Sam’s behavior was strange, but he didn’t let his hand go just yet. “You don’t
like being called Luci. I’ll call you Luce, okay?”
Now Lucifer was confused, visibly. He let Sam’s hand go and stepped back a
little.
“How did you know I don’t like the name?” he asked.
Sam shrugged and smiled.
“Who wants to have a girl’s name, right?” he said innocently and Lucifer
couldn’t help but smile too.
“I guess so,” Lucifer chuckled and shook his head. Coincidence, nothing more.
“Anyways, I wanted to thank you for the groceries and all, helped me quite a
bit yesterday.”
“No problem, really,” Sam said and waved his hand. He was glad that Lucifer
wasn’t mad at him for what happened the day before and that he took his strange
behavior easy. What he did wasn’t intentional, not at all. There was just this
feelinghe had sometimes, this feeling of something being wrong. And then he
couldn’t stop it anymore.
“It’s a nice house your grandma got there,” Lucifer pushed his hands into his
pockets and looked up at the building. “You won’t find such houses in Maine.”
“Yeah, it’s nice. But many houses here are like this, so it’s just one of
many,” Sam shrugged. The man seemed nice and interesting, that much he could
tell; and apparently he wasn’t creeped out by the place yet, which meant he
probably hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary so far. “The French Quarter
has much bigger and more stunning houses.”
“You know quite a bit, Sam,” Lucifer turned around and looked at him. “Did you
grow up here?”
“Pretty much,” Sam shrugged. “My dad always dropped me and my big brother off
at my grandma’s when he had a business trip, so we pretty much grew up with
her.” he looked over the street, smiling. “She’s a little cranky, but she’s
great.”
“She’s an old school lady for sure,” Lucifer laughed.
Sam snickered, but didn’t answer. Now that he hadn’t just almost kill Lucifer
he examined him closely for the first time, thinking to himself that the man
looked damn handsome for his age. His voice, though deep and dark, was kind of
thrilling. Even his eyes were interesting, mesmerizing almost. They were a
glacial blue, but it seemed like there was something dark inside them,
something that was under the surface and Sam couldn’t see; yet. And his hands…
Lucifer said something, breaking Sam out of his reverie.
“What?” he mumbled, confused for a second. He was so focused on the book
Lucifer held in his hand and how his fingers brushed over the cover – he must
have drifted away for a moment.
“I said: I think I could find my inspiration here again,” Lucifer answered,
smirking. His gaze on Sam was soft, making the younger one blush slightly.
“Your inspiration?” he asked, curious.
“Writer’s block, kiddo,” Lucifer said, shrugging. “I’ve been stuck for months,
that’s why I’m here.”
There was something like a sparkle in Sam’s eyes, when Lucifer expected
disappointment instead. He was surprised, but somehow liked the reaction.
Telling someone he was an author usually brought disinterested looks or the
like, but not with Sam apparently.
“Have you been published already?” Sam asked and sat down on the grass.
Smiling, Lucifer followed, mimicking the lotus position Sam had gotten into.
“I have, five books. You read Deranged or Maria?”
“Maria, yeah,” Sam frowned. “I bought it with my birthday money, devoured it in
a week.”
This made Lucifer laugh, as he had only taken about a month to write the book;
ditching his sleep and writing like a maniac the whole time.
“Well, I wrote them. Also Salt and Burn, Life in the Dark and Two Minutes after
Midnight.”
“Gotta catch up reading those then I guess,” Sam grinned. His fingers lazily
pulled blades of grass out as they talked, piling them up in front of him.
Slowly but steady his fingertips turned green as he worked. “What’s your new
book about, if I may ask?”
“Ghosts,” Lucifer sighed, not noticing the quick flash of worry in Sam’s eyes.
“It’s about a haunted house in the early twenties, but it just won’t go
further.”
Sam cleared his throat, trying not to give himself away.
“Do you… believe in these things? Ghosts and the supernatural?”
“I always thought I don’t, but now I’m not sure about that anymore,” Lucifer
gave a quick glance at the house before dragging himself up. “Anyways, I have
to find a place to get some food, so…”
“Want me to show you the neighborhood?” Sam asked when he stood up too, dusting
off his jeans.
“I don’t wanna hold you up, I’m pretty sure you’ve got better things to do than
show an old man around.”
Sam smiled, showing those cute little dimples that Lucifer had noticed once
already; melting something in the older one – his resistance. Damn, this boy
would be trouble, he knew it.
“I don’t mind, really. Besides, you’re not that old,” Sam winked at him with a
smirk on his lips. “How about I pick you up in twenty and show you the
necessities?”
“Sounds good,” Lucifer couldn’t believe he agreed, but when Sam quickly shook
his hand before disappearing through the garden door, he couldn’t suppress a
smile.
While Sam did whatever he wanted to do, Lucifer went inside to get ready
himself. After putting on some light slacks and the thinnest shirt he could
find, given the world outside was melting already, he grabbed his wallet. There
should be enough money in it to last him a few days and if he ran short he
could always ask Sam for the nearest ATM.
He waited in the shadow of the house for Sam to show up, his eyes wandering
over the house on the other side. Something about it seemed off, but he
couldn’t lay a finger on it. Then, a few seconds before the door opened, he
noticed a dark figure near the window of the second floor moving. He blinked,
confused and the figure was already gone again. Shrugging, he pushed himself
off the wall, writing it off as a trick of the sunlight.
The first thing he saw when the door opened was Sam’s hair, blown into his face
from the wind, and his jaw dropped when he saw the brunet sprinting over the
street. He was dressed in damn tight, black shorts that barely covered his ass,
and a Metallica shirt. The sneakers could have been non-existent too, it
wouldn’t have changed Lucifer’s reaction. There was a jump of his heartbeat and
he slapped sense into himself internally.
Keep your hands to yourself, Lucifer. This boy is off-limits.
“Hey, sorry for taking so long,” Sam gasped when he was on Lucifer’s side,
smirking. “Nana needs some stuff too, so she wrote me a list quickly.”
“We better get going then, can’t let her wait,” Lucifer said, hoping he had
managed a normal tone.
The two walked along the sidewalk next to each other, something Lucifer was
very glad of. If Sam had walked in front of him? Lucifer wouldn’t have been
able to keep himself from staring at his damn perfect muscles stretch. And
Sam’s ass was definitely worth a second or third look – if not more. Lucifer’s
mind went trailing off more than once and it was hard to keep himself contained
next to the younger man.
It turned out there was a grocery store just fifteen minutes away. On the way
Sam talked a little about the houses they passed and what else one could do for
entertainment. Lucifer liked listening to Sam talk; his voice was soothing
somehow and it almost felt like a tune he could fall asleep to. Now and then
Sam would shoot him a look that could have been admiration if they had known
each other longer, combined with a sweet smile. It didn’t help Lucifer to
concentrate at all.
Sam helped Lucifer pick up groceries and a few other things he’d need, then
payed and used the delivery service of the store to get the things taken home.
Apparently Sam’s grandma did this quite often, so they knew where to deliver
everything and since she was home it would be taken good care of. The two of
them, however, walked to a café nearby to refresh themselves with some iced
tea.
“This district is pretty unique,” Lucifer commented after their drinks arrived,
looking around.
“It’s not all just flowers and beauty though,” Sam said. “Have you done some
research on the town?”
“Not much. My mom used to live here as a child, moved to Maine when she was in
her twenties. She used to tell me how beautiful New Orleans was, but that I had
to be careful if I ever came here.”
“You should be. Getting involved with the wrong people might cost you more than
a few bucks.”
“Like what, my soul?” Lucifer laughed, but Sam’s eyes were stern. “Come on, are
you serious?”
“Have you ever heard of the LaLaurie Mansion?”
“It rings a bell…” Lucifer frowned.
“The whole French Quarter is… different. Lots of haunted places, lots of ghost
stories and voodoo priests, even today. You should be careful who you talk to.”
“Really? Can you visit those places?”
Sam let out a full hearted laugh, a sound so wonderful in Lucifer’s ears that
he smiled at it.
“There’s a Ghost Tour you can book, maybe that’s something for you?” he
suggested.
“Sounds great,” Lucifer smiled. “Dumb question, but would you join me? I would
feel weird taking it alone.”
Sam fell silent, sipping on his ice tea and eyeing Lucifer over the glass. He
didn’t look appalled though, more like the opposite. Lucifer noticed that Sam’s
eyes on him weren’t uncomfortable at all. Finally, after a few minutes, Sam
licked his lips and smiled.
“Why not? I haven’t been to one of these tours since I was a kid. Nana called
it education.”
Oh boy, I can educate you so much better.
Lucifer grimaced and cursed his dirty mind before giving Sam what he hoped was
a warm smile.
“Any idea when they have the next one?” he asked, excited about the idea of
learning more about this topic. It would be the perfect thing to fuel his
inspiration and maybe he could use some of it for his book too. And to be
honest? With Sam it would surely be a fun trip.
“Gimme a minute,” Sam laughed and pulled out his phone.
While Sam checked for the tour and when they could take one, Lucifer excused
himself for the bathrooms. It wasn’t like he’d need to do anything, he just had
to take his mind away from Sam for a minute, especially his mouth. While he
concentrated on his phone he kept biting his lip and it was driving Lucifer
insane while he kept staring at those pink lips and the white teeth.
Lucifer quickly splashed some cold water into his face after closing the door
and stared at himself in the mirror. He knew he wasn’t bad looking, if he got
enough sleep at least, and that he could be a damn prize for some women, but a
boy like Sam? Sure, the brunet was an adult and could do what he wanted to, but
he was in college, dammit! Having these kind of thoughts when Sam was just
being nice was wrong.
“Keep your hands off him, Lucifer,” he told himself strictly. “You’re not that
kind of pervert and he’s probably just friendly because he’s got manners.”
Lucifer liked Sam, really. He was fun and fascinating and genuinely interested
in books too it seemed. If he was able to keep his damn hands and thoughts to
himself, Sam could be a nice company during his time here and he would slap
himself if he’d ruin this. When he finally came back to the table, Sam seemed
happy, almost cheerful.
“Found something?” Lucifer asked curious.
“You’re lucky. They have two tours a day,” Sam said and emptied his glass.
“And you really wanna come along?” Lucifer couldn’t believe that Sam actually
meant what he said, but the smile on the brunet’s face was answer enough.
“Can’t let you have all the fun alone, right?” he chuckled and stretched in his
seat, his feet brushing against Lucifer’s leg accidentally. “Which one do you
wanna take, the one at six or eight?”
Lucifer thought about this question for a moment. The first tour was sooner,
but he was pretty sure the later one would be more interesting, given it might
add a creepy factor to it once it got dark slowly. Also he could take a nap
before, which he really needed after so many weeks with a messed up sleep
schedule.
“I guess the one at eight is better, don’t you think?” he finally asked,
drawing a smile from Sam.
“Sounds good to me. If we’re there at seven it should be fine,” he held his
phone up. “Do you want me to book two tickets?”
“If you want to, but I’ll pay you back for it,” Lucifer didn’t like the idea of
a student paying for his entertainment, but Sam just laughed it off and waved
his hands.
“See if you like it first. If so, you can always take me out to eat again.”
“Alright, that sounds like a deal,” Lucifer smiled.
The idea of taking Sam out was exciting, as much as the tour they would take
itself. While Sam booked the tickets Lucifer waved the waiter over to pay for
their drinks. Whatever outcome this trip would have, Lucifer was more than glad
that he decided to take it. This day alone was worth all the trouble already.
***** Sarah *****
Chapter Summary
     The infamous New Orleans Ghost Tour. Lucifer is very excited to go on
     it and even more because Sam will come with him. The tour ends
     different than he expected though and when Sam breaks down and turns
     into a complete wreck, Lucifer's only concern is him.
Lucifer had taken the nap he wanted and picked up the groceries that were
delivered to Sam’s grandma without any troubles. He had even talked to her a
little and couldn’t help but like her even more. The way she spoke about her
grandson showed just how proud she was of him – even if she complained about
his haircut a little too much, in Lucifer’s eyes. Lucifer himself didn’t mind
at all. Sam’s hair looked gorgeous on him.
When everything was put away and Lucifer had cleaned up the little bit of mess
he had caused before, he jumped under the shower for the second time that day.
New Orleans was beautiful, but sweating seemed to be part of daily life here,
so he figured he’d shower more often than he was used to.
He spent the rest of the afternoon staring at his laptop screen, going back
over the story he wrote and editing a few things out of it. So far his spirit
wasn’t fully back, but even being able to edit something was a huge step. At
around six he called a taxi for himself and Sam and started to get ready.
The taxi pulled up just the moment Sam exited the house on the opposite side of
the street. This time he wore jeans – somehow much to Lucifer’s disappointment
as they hid his legs – and a white tee. He smiled at Lucifer when he opened the
backdoor of the taxi for him and slipped into it before the older one followed.
“Where you’re going, guys?” the taxi driver asked and Sam gave him the address.
When he leaned back Lucifer noticed something about Sam was different. At first
he didn’t notice it, but now he asked himself how he managed to ignore the
difference. Sam’s eyes were darker; he had put makeupon. It made his eyes
bigger and stand out even more. Lucifer gulped when one word flashed through
his head.
Beautiful.
“I’m really excited somehow,” Sam suddenly said and Lucifer managed to get
himself together enough to answer with a relatively normal voice.
“About the tour?” he asked.
“Yeah. I didn’t tell Nana where we’re going though. If she asks, we were
sightseeing, okay?”
That confused Lucifer a little, but he wasn’t really worried. Grandmothers
could be overprotective.
“Doesn’t she like that tour?”
“She doesn’t like ghosts much anymore. All these stories, it’s nothing she
likes talking about,” Sam shrugged and gave Lucifer an innocent smile. “You
won’t tell her, right?”
“Of course not!” Lucifer laughed. As if he’d get Sam into trouble like that.
For the rest of the ten minute drive Sam was silent and looked out of the
window. Lucifer watched him from the side and once again thought that he had
never seen someone like Sam. Or someone who fascinated him so much in such a
short time in general. He agreed with his earlier thought that Sam was
beautiful, even though he didn’t know if it was his attitude or his youth or
both combined. Or maybe it was something entirely different. Whatever it was,
he felt his pulse fasten when he looked at him and that kind of scared him a
little.
You’re a grown man, he’s barely legal.His subconscious mind reminded him. This
boy is just nice to you because you rented his grandma’s house. He’s not
flirting with you or anything like that.
Lucifer knew this was probably true – most likely – but he couldn’t keep these
thoughts at bay. Sam was beautiful and he felt the urge to touch him rise with
every second he looked at him. If he was ten years younger, hell even five, he
would have made a move on him and screwed the consequences. The way things were
though, he’d rather just go away than allow himself to do anything stupid.
“There we are, guys. Makes ten-forty.”
Lucifer reached for his wallet and paid the driver fifteen dollars, thanking
him for the ride. After the two got out and the taxi drove away he turned
around to Sam.
“Where now, kiddo?” he asked, smirking.
“Right down the block. We can check into the tour with my online tickets.”
“Then lead the way.”
Sam walked past Lucifer, who quickly followed him and caught up with the
younger man to walk beside him. It would get dark soon, so the street lights
were turned on and Lucifer had to force himself not to look at Sam. The
yellowish light on his face made him look almost ethereal and Lucifer feared
that, if he looked at him for too long, he would lose control completely.
They stopped in front of a shop called Zombie’s Voodoo Shop, which organized
the tour, and Sam quickly went inside to register them, leaving Lucifer alone
for a few moments. The older man sighed and turned around, now wishing for a
cigarette more than ever before, if only to fight his tension. There were
already a few other people waiting for the tour to start and, not to his
surprise, he spotted mostly couples.
“Alright, we’re set up.”
Lucifer turned around a little too fast when he heard Sam’s voice, but the boy
didn’t seem to be startled. He held something in his hand and when Lucifer took
a closer look at it he handed it to him. It was a book.
“For you,” Sam said and smiled. Lucifer gave him a confused look, blushing
slightly, but didn’t answer. “It’s a collection of all the haunted places and
stories of the city. I thought it might be useful for your book.”
“Yeah…” Lucifer finally mumbled, inspecting the book. “Thank you,” he had no
idea what else to say, he didn’t expect Sam to think about something like this.
If anything, he would have expected a silly hat, but not something as
thoughtful and nice as this. When he looked back at Sam, Lucifer smiled
brightly.
The two spent the waiting time looking at the other people, who slowly became
more. Some of them were dressed up, some to an extend that almost creeped
Lucifer out, but they all seemed very interested and excited. As more and more
people joined the waiting group, Sam shoved himself closer to Lucifer. At one
point he even hooked his arm up with his, which caused the older man to tense
up completely. Lucifer knew Sam had just done it because the place was crowded
and he thought Lucifer might get lost, but the knowledge didn’t help much. The
tension only ebbed away when the tour guide finally came out of the shop, all
dressed up and ready for the fun to begin.
Sam kept his arm hooked with Lucifer’s as they began walking the tour, but now
that Lucifer was able to focus on what the guide said it made the warmth of
Sam’s hand a little easier to ignore. The tour turned out to be extremely
interesting and soon Sam let him go to take photos with his phone that he
promised to send Lucifer later and they both listened to all the stories around
the places they visited.
At one point they entered a ‘haunted bar’, where an old man talked about the
history of it and what happened there. And then came the place Sam had
mentioned before: The LaLaurie Mansion. Lucifer didn’t think the building
looked any special, but the story the tour guide told them about it sent
shivers down his spine. If he had ever heard the story of a monster, it was
surely that of Delphine LaLaurie. The way this woman had murdered and tortured
her slaves just had to send chills to one’s bones, whether they believed that
the souls of those poor slaves still haunted the place or not.
The tour went to a few other places, but the LaLaurie mansion was by far the
creepiest for Lucifer. Sure, there were ghost stories in Maine, too, but most
of them weren’t half as fucked up as this one. Sam had only taken a few photos
of the mansion, apparently he was more interested in what the guide had to say
too. After almost two hours they were on the way back to where they began the
tour and the guide closed.
“If you liked this tour and want to know more about the most haunted town in
the US, we also have different tours for you to enjoy. The Cemetery Tour, which
will take you to the St. Louis Cemetery, is set daily at ten in the morning.
The other tours we offer revolve around the Garden District and the ghosts
there.”
They were back in front of the shop and Lucifer felt Sam’s hand suddenly clench
around his wrist. A little worried, he looked down, only to find the boy
terrified and as pale as a corpse. He looked like he had just seen a realghost.
“The Garden District Tour will take you through the Lafayette Cemetery, a
famous movie set, and will also show you some of the most haunted houses in the
district,” Sam let out a silent gasp when the man continued calm and with a
deep voice, a smirk on his face. “Including the infamous Campbell Mansion,
where, at the age of only thirteen, the daughter of one of the most famous
white voodoo priests was slaughtered.”
Sam’s eyes were wide after these words and Lucifer didn’t hear the rest the
guide said anymore. His focus was solely on Sam, who was now shaking and
completely waxy.
“Sam, are you alright?” he asked worried, but Sam didn’t answer. He kept
staring through him and for a moment Lucifer was truly terrified. His eyes were
completely dark and empty - and almost... dead. Lucifer shook Sam’s shoulder,
but still got no response. Worrying that they might draw unwanted attention at
them, Lucifer dragged the brunet away from the slowly separating crowd into a
slightly quieter part of the street.
“Sam, please talk to me!” he begged, shaking the boy again. “Are you sick? Do
you need me to call someone?”
Slowly Sam’s grip around his wrist loosened and his eyes – thank god! – cleared
up slightly. He blinked a few times before looking at Lucifer, still as pale as
before.
“I didn’t knowthey had a tour with the house…” he whispered. Lucifer frowned
for a moment before it clicked in his head. The Campbell Mansion… it was the
house he lived in!
“Sam, please. You have to sit down,” Lucifer couldn’t think straight with Sam
like this and when he finally moved and allowed the older one to get him away,
Lucifer was relieved.
They found a café that was still open a little down the street and Lucifer
basically pushed the still silent and shaking Sam into one of the chairs
outside. He took a different one and shoved it over to his, so he could sit
down next to him.
“You need to calm down, Sam,” he said gently, taking one of those shaking hands
into his and stroking over it in an attempt to soothe him. “It’s okay, really.
Just breathe and calm down.”
Sam was silent for a few more minutes, just looking into the distance.
“I didn’t know, Luce,” he finally said.
“It doesn’t matter, I don’t care.”
“You shouldcare. I should have toldyou, but my grandma forbid it,” Sam said and
now, finally, looked up at Lucifer again. His eyes were wet. “She knows about
the ghosts, everyone does. And I didn’t tell you.”
“Okay, slow down, kiddo,” Lucifer said and took a deep breath. “I already knew
something was up with the house, okay?”
“Y-You did?” Sam’s eyes widened again. “Did anything happen?”
Lucifer smiled at him, a warm and reassuring smile that he hoped would calm him
down again.
“I saw something in the living room mirror on my first day,” Lucifer told him,
watching how fear creeped into those wide eyes. “And I heard footsteps from the
attic last night. But nothing happened, okay? I’m fine.”
“Damn…” Sam hissed and pressed his eyes close for a moment. “I knew this would
happen. I told her!”
Lucifer looked up, still holding one of Sam’s hands with his, and signed the
waitress to come over. He ordered a beer for himself and, after another close
look at Sam, another for the boy and two whiskey. When he looked back at Sam,
his eyes were open again.
“I don’t drink, Luce,” he said quietly.
“Tonight you do,” Lucifer said, a little strict for his liking. “I don’t want
you to get drunk, just to calm down a little. It will help you, okay? And then
you talk to me.”
Sam nodded, but didn’t say a word until the order Lucifer made arrived. The
older one handed Sam one of the whiskey filled glasses and took the other, then
held his own up.
“Don’t think, just breathe in, drink, swallow and breathe out. You can drink
beer after it if it burns too much.”
Sam nodded again and did exactly as Lucifer told him, who mimicked his actions.
When Sam put the glass back on the table he inhaled sharply, but didn’t touch
the beer. He held his breath and let the burn go through him, all while Lucifer
watched.
“Do you feel your stomach getting warm?” Lucifer asked and Sam nodded quickly.
“Good. Now just breathe a few times and it’ll get better.”
Again Sam followed the orders, before grabbing for the beer bottle and taking a
few gulps from it. When he put it back on the table he took a deep breath and
looked back at him.
“Better?” Lucifer asked, smiling.
“Better.”
Lucifer patted Sam’s hand for a moment longer, then took his own bottle and
drank a little too. He was glad that Sam got some color back, even if the red
flush on his cheeks only made him look more desirable. If he weren’t so worried
about Sam, he would have thought it made him look like the sweetest boy in the
whole world.
“Now, tell me about the house if you want to.”
Sam sighed and wrapped his fingers around Lucifer’s hand. When he spoke his
voice was shaking slightly.
“It’s haunted, they’re right. Everyone in New Orleans knows, so Nana rented it
to someone who’s not from the city,” he gave Lucifer an apologetic smile. “The
girl the guide talked about… her name was Sarah. I know the story because of my
grandma and she told it to me and my brother when we were kids. Sarah’s father
was a voodoo priest for the white high society back in the late eighteenth
century. He cursed their enemies, told them their future and was a well-known
man. His daughter was as beautiful as she was feared, with her long blonde hair
and the stunning blue eyes she was fascinating men ever since she was a child.”
“One night, shortly after she turned thirteen, her father turned down a client.
The man was furious and promised revenge, but her father laughed it off. He
told him that he couldn’t do anything – he had been cursed by a different
priest and Sarah’s father didn’t want to provoke him – and that he should make
sure to set up his last will soon. The night after that Sarah was home alone
with her nanny. She was asleep when someone dragged her out of bed and into the
garden. The man and a few others had come to take their revenge and they took
it out on her.”
“What did they do?” Lucifer asked, holding his breath.
“They started beating her to death. One of them must have covered her mouth the
whole time because she didn’t make a sound loud enough to wake her nanny up.
She found Sarah in the morning, half of her head was just a bloody mess and not
even her father could identify her for sure by her looks. Just the ring on her
finger gave away who she was. The coroner later found out that Sarah had been
pregnant. No one knew who the father was, but people assumed it could have been
either her own father, or the man who came looking for his help.” Sam looked up
and took another huge gulp from his beer. “She never left the house. After her
death her father moved out, selling the house to one of my ancestors.”
“That’s horrible…” Lucifer said in a hushed tone and Sam nodded slowly.
“Ever since people claimed to see Sarah. She appears in reflecting surfaces or
walks through the house at night. There were accidents, a lot of them. My own
grandmother fell down the stairs once when my dad, who was still a baby,
started crying in his room at night and she wanted to look at him. She told me
it felt like someone had pushed her, even though she was alone with my dad.”
“Did she move out because of that?”
“No… she moved to the other side of the road for a different reason,” Sam
sighed. “She can’t let go of the house because my dad’s brother died in there.
I’m sure you’ve seen the nursery by now.”
“Yeah…” Lucifer frowned. “The bed is completely destroyed.”
“It was my dad,” Sam nodded. “He was eighteen by the time and my grandma just
had her second son a few months before. Dad loved him dearly, he always told
everyone how amazing his little brother was and he didn’t mind him being so
young. One night he cried, just like my dad did as a baby, a horrible wailing.
My grandma got out of bed to look after him, my dad was at a friend’s house at
the time, and found him in his bed with his whole face bloody. He had scratched
himself until he was bleeding and then cried because of the pain.”
“She was horrified, she told me. She picked him up and wanted to go downstairs
with him and call a doctor when she was pushed again. I’ll never forget what
she said to me.”
“What was it?” Lucifer felt cold to the bones, thinking about what must have
happened.
“She said she fell down the stairs and tried to turn around so she would not
smash the baby in her arms. She saw Sarah. She saw her like I see you now, her
hands still stretched out and her left eye piercing through her with so much
hate that she felt her heart stop.”
“What happened to the baby and her?”
“She couldn’t move anymore when she saw Sarah. She had turned enough to not
fall onto my uncle, but he hit the floor hard with his head, as much as she
did.” Sam paused, emptying his bottle with one huge gulp. “He died instantly.
The force basically smashed his skull and he died from the impact. When my dad
came home the next day and found my grandma at the foot of the stairs, blood
all over her face and clothes and clutching the dead baby in her arms, sobbing
and crying. He completely lost control. He yelled and screamed and smashed the
baby bed into pieces before breaking down next to her.”
“Oh god, Sam… I’m so sorry to hear that,” Lucifer squeezed Sam’s hand tight and
the boy gave him a weak smile.
“She couldn’t live there anymore,” he said quietly. “But she couldn’t let go
either. She kept the house and hired workers to keep it in shape, but she was
unable to even spend one night in it anymore. The workers saw her too, you
know. Some had accidents, but no one ever died in there again.”
Lucifer had no idea what to say or do, so he did the only thing that came to
his mind and pulled Sam into his arms. The boy didn’t protest or say anything,
he just held onto Lucifer and shook again. The older one would have cried at
this heartbreaking story if it wasn’t for Sam being so close to a complete
breakdown. He felt the need to stay strong and support him somehow, rather than
freaking out himself.
When Lucifer finally felt that Sam stopped shaking he let him go, only to find
his cheeks wet from the tears he couldn’t keep in. Without thinking, Lucifer
wiped them away with his thumb and smiled at him.
“You’re scared that she’ll hurt me, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Yeah…” Sam confessed weakly. “You’ve seen her…”
“For a split second, Sam. She just lookedat me.”
“But she could hurt you!” Sam insisted. “I tried talking her to leave so often,
but she never showed herself to me! She just laughs at me!”
“You… talked to her?” Lucifer frowned and raised his brows. “Can you… seethem?”
“Since I was a baby,” Sam admitted slowly. “My mom always said I was special,
but I wish I wasn’t. My brother never saw them, but I always do. They are
everywhere, Luce.”
Lucifer sat back in his own chair, looking at Sam completely dumbfounded. As if
the story of the house itself wasn’t shocking enough, now Sam could see ghosts
too? Millions of questions ran through his head, but he wasn’t able to voice
even one of them out. The waitress came over and asked if everything was
alright and Lucifer weakly ordered another round of Whiskey and beer. He needed
it now.
Once the new order arrived Lucifer instantly emptied the glass of Whiskey and
half of his beer bottle. He could feel his head spin slightly, but the shock of
what Sam just said was a little less intense after that.
“So… you see ghosts,” Lucifer eventually repeated, earning a nod.
“They aren’t all like Sarah,” Sam said slowly and looked down at his hands that
fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “Some of them just lurk around, not harming
anyone. And some… some are like her.”
“How many have you seen, Sam?”
“I don’t know,” Sam shrugged. “I don’t exactly count them.”
They were silent for a few minutes before Sam looked up at Lucifer again with
sadness in his eyes.
“You probably think I’m a freak now,” he said. “I understand. Hell, I am a
freak.”
“Why would I think that?” Lucifer asked confused. “And why would you?”
“Because I am! I see ghosts, Lucifer. If that’s not a sign of being a freak…”
“You’re spiritual, but not a freak,” Lucifer smiled at the boy. “My mom told me
her sister always claimed to see ghosts too, but she never believed her.”
“Your aunt sees them too?” Sam asked surprised.
“I think so. I never talked to her myself and my mom said it was bullshit, but
maybe she could. I wouldn’t know, she’s dead by now like my mom, so,” Lucifer
shrugged.
“I wish I couldn’t,” Sam sighed and wrapped his arms around his chest in a
protective manner. Lucifer felt dread when he saw him like that, because even
though he spoke, he didn’t know half of the truth yet. “Some ghosts drive
people into suicide just because they can’t let go.”
“Is there something you want to tell me, Sam?” Lucifer asked carefully, but Sam
didn’t answer. He didn’t even look at him, just slowly shook his head and
closed his eyes – goosebumps all over his arms and tears shimmering in his eyes
again. For the first time, Sam broke Lucifer’s heart.
***** Too Many Tears *****
Chapter Summary
     Lucifer can't deny Sam his wish to stay with him over night, but
     there is still so much more he doesn't know and so much he doesn't
     want to see in order to not do the wrong thing. Sam, however, throws
     all his doubts over board.
Lucifer had decided that enough was enough. He asked Sam if he was ready to go
home and the boy nodded before emptying the second glass of whiskey the same
way he did the first. Lucifer followed suit with his beer and paid the
waitress. After that, he helped Sam up onto his feet and used his phone to call
a taxi.
While they waited Sam leaned against Lucifer, giving into the touch of his arm
wrapped around his shoulders. He wasn’t shaking anymore and he wasn’t crying,
at least something Lucifer could be grateful for. The silence, however, was
much more disturbing for him. Seeing the cheerful and laughing boy so terrified
made him feel horrible. If only he hadn’t asked… if only he hadn’t taken this
damn tour.
When the taxi arrived Lucifer helped Sam inside, gave the taxi driver the
address and then simply watched Sam as he stared out of the window. There was
something Sam hadn’t told him, but he had no idea what it was. What he knew,
though, was that he was concerned and wanted to help Sam, no matter what he had
to do.
The taxi ride was shorter than the earlier trip due to the lack of traffic, so
they arrived at Lucifer’s rented house quickly and he paid the driver before
helping Sam outside. He wanted to help Sam over to his grandma’s house, maybe
even inside, but Sam held him back.
“I don’t wanna go home,” he whispered and looked up at Lucifer with pleading
eyes.
“Sam, you need to sleep,” Lucifer said soothingly and laid his hands on Sam’s
shoulders. “We’ve had a long day and you’re exhausted. Tomorrow things will be
better.”
Sam shook his head, to which Lucifer smiled sadly.
“Nothing will happen to me, okay? I’ll be careful.”
“No… please don’t send me home. I want to stay with you.”
Lucifer gulped at these words, underlined by Sam leaning against his chest and
closing his eyes. This wasn’t good, none of this. It wasn’t good that Sam was
scared, it wasn’t good that he wanted to stay with Lucifer instead of going
home to his grandma. And – the worst of all – was that Lucifer didn’t want him
to leave. He wrapped his arms around the brunet, sighing and cursing himself
for this.
“Sam, please. Your grandma will worry and she’ll kill me if I don’t bring you
back.”
Sam shook his head and looked up, sealing Lucifer’s fate with those beautiful
and utterly sad puppy eyes that now had black strains of ruined make up around
them.
“She’s asleep already. Please… I don’t wanna be alone tonight.”
Finally, giving up all the promises he told himself he would keep, Lucifer gave
in. He nodded, got the key out of his pocket and led the boy inside. When he
closed the door behind them Lucifer asked himself one last time if this was
really what he wanted to do, but he pushed the thought back as far as he could.
Sam needed him, it was obvious, and he wouldn’t throw him out and force him
back into whatever situation he tried to escape by staying.
After locking the door, Lucifer came back to Sam, who stood in the corridor
with his arms around his chest again. The boy cringed a little when Lucifer put
a hand on his shoulder, but when he looked up into his eyes there was a smile
on his lips – faint and sad, but still a smile.
“Do you want to go to sleep?” Lucifer asked him and Sam nodded.
Lucifer wrapped his arm around Sam again, guiding him upstairs into the
bedroom. He felt torn when he opened the door, but somehow it wasn’t as
horrible as before now. Sam sat down on the bed and Lucifer walked over to the
wardrobe to get one of his shirts out of it.
“I don’t have anything else, but you can wear this. Your clothes look
uncomfortable,” he handed the shirt to Sam, who gave him a thankful smile. For
himself he grabbed a different one and went outside so Sam had time to change,
which Lucifer did too. After getting out of his clothes and into the new shirt
he stuffed the dirty ones into the basket in the bathroom and went to the
kitchen to grab himself another beer. He emptied it halfway before walking back
up, knowing full well that he wouldn’t dare to sleep before he knew Sam was
asleep himself.
Lucifer knocked on the bedroom door – to not catch Sam half naked or worse –
and heard a quiet ‘Come in’ in response. When he did, Sam was still sitting on
the bed, the shirt in his hands and his clothes on.
“What’s wrong, Sam?” Lucifer asked and came closer. He put the bottle onto the
nightstand and knelt down to look up into Sam’s eyes.
“I’m scared, Luce,” Sam said silently and Lucifer laid a hand on his again.
“Of Sarah?” he asked.
Sam shook his head slowly. A new thought occurred to the older man and he felt
his heart sting at the next question he had to ask.
“Are you scared of me?”
This time Sam shook his head more firmly and looked at Lucifer.
“I’m not scared of you…” he said, as if to convince them both.
“You don’t have to be afraid of anything,” Lucifer told him seriously and
squeezed his hand. “Nothing will happen to you while I’m here, I promise. I’ll
keep you safe.”
Sam nodded and Lucifer stood up, forgetting his idea of sleeping in the living
room. He couldn’t leave Sam alone, not in this state. He took the shirt from
Sam’s hands and put it on the nightstand next to the bottle before smiling down
at him.
“Do you want to change?” he asked and Sam nodded slowly.
When the boy began peeling himself out of his shirt Lucifer turned around to
give him his privacy. He knew it was a mistake to spend the night with the boy,
but what else could he do? Leaving Sam alone was out of the question, so he
would have to rely on controlling himself. He’d neveruse Sam like this.
“I’m done,” Sam said after a few minutes and Lucifer turned around, finding the
boy in a far too big shirt that made him look five years younger at least.
“Good,” Lucifer said with a shaky voice and took Sam’s clothes from him to put
them aside.
Sam shoved himself onto the bed and while Lucifer walked over to the other side
he picked up the bottle and emptied it. Worried, Lucifer watched him. When he
put the empty bottle back down Sam’s cheeks were pink again.
“Thank you for letting me stay,” he said and looked over at Lucifer, who just
crawled under the blanket.
“Do you think I’d leave you alone like this?” he asked.
“I don’t know…” Sam mumbled, still sitting with his back against the big
pillow. He didn’t look at Lucifer, but at his hands again. “I only know you for
a day and ask you to spend the night here. It’s kind of crazy isn’t it?”
“I don’t mind, Sam,” Lucifer assured him and shoved himself into a sitting
position too. “I couldn’t leave you alone after today anyways.”
Sam was silent for a while, as if he was debating what to say next. Lucifer
noticed that he had wiped away the little strains of make up around his eyes,
but of course didn’t bother taking it off. He felt the urge to say something
himself, but whatever would come out – he knew it would be creepy. So, not
wanting to scare Sam, he stayed silent.
“Lucifer… if I ask you something, would you be mad at me?” Sam eventually
whispered.
“Why should I be mad at you?” he asked confused.
“Would you… would you kiss me?”
Lucifer thought he had a stroke. He just stared at Sam, completely shocked and
unable to get a word out.
He… he didn’t just say that, right?
“N-Nevermind… I-I’m sorry,” Sam muttered and turned around, away from Lucifer.
Without even realizing what he did, Lucifer reached out with a hand and laid it
on Sam’s arm – to which the brunet slowly turned his head again. Realizing Sam
meant what he said, Lucifer leaned over to him and placed a soft kiss on his
lips, as gentle as possible.
It felt like nothing before in Lucifer’s life. Sam sank against his lips,
sighing and closing his eyes as he did. Lucifer couldn’t close his own eyes, it
was impossible to take them off this beautiful picture Sam made, so he wrapped
an arm around his waist instead and shoved himself closer. This kiss was almost
shy, but it made fireworks explode in Lucifer’s head at just how amazing it was
and how absolutely perfect Sam’s soft, pink lips fit against his. When he
pulled back Lucifer had to fight with himself to leave this perfect touch as it
was and the way Sam opened his eyes told him he felt the same.
“Luce…” Sam whispered softly, looking at him with eyes so lost and sweet that
Lucifer’s heart skipped a beat. He cupped Sam’s cheek with one hand, to which
Sam immediately reacted by closing his eyes again and leaning into his palm.
“Sam…” Lucifer didn’t know what else to say. All the words he had usually
swirling through his mind were just gone, blown away by this boy he just met.
All that was left was a warmth in his chest that didn’t come from the alcohol.
You’re falling for this boy! his mind shouted at him, but Lucifer knew better.
He had been falling from the moment they met.
Sam leaned against him completely now, so Lucifer carefully kicked the blanket
away to wrap his arm around his waist, resting it on his hips. His fingertips
only slightly brushed over Sam’s skin doing this, but it still sent a shiver
through the boy that made him open his eyes again.
“That felt good,” he mumbled, smiling.
“It did,” Lucifer knew from the way Sam looked at him that it wasn’t only the
kiss spinning his head, but also the alcohol. “You should sleep now, okay?”
“Stay with me, will you?”
“Of course I will.”
Lucifer carefully laid down with Sam in his arms, the brunette resting his head
on the his chest when they found a comfortable position. Lucifer made sure to
not touch Sam’s skin anywhere with his hands, knowing full well that he
wouldn’t do anything when Sam was in this state. Turning slightly, he managed
to keep Sam on his chest while being able to free one arm at the same time. He
brushed through Sam’s hair gently, to which the boy sighed in response.
“Sleep, kiddo,” Lucifer whispered. With a little effort he managed to reach
over to the nightstand to turn the light off. Now only the moon outside shone
and the way it highlighted Sam’s face made Lucifer smile again. He could
already feel Sam’s breath become more rhythmic and calm, but he still kept his
eyes open – watching how his beautiful boy fell asleep against him. It didn’t
take long until Sam was asleep and Lucifer allowed himself to close his eyes
too. He didn’t know why, he didn’t know how, but when he drifted into sleep,
holding Sam and smiling, there was nothing but happiness in him.
---
That night Lucifer didn’t wake up from noises in the attic or for any other
reason. He woke up to the best thing in the world – Sam who was pressing a kiss
on his stubble cheek. Slowly he opened his eyes, looking into Sam’s face with a
smile.
“Up already?” he asked the next morning, earning a smile back.
It wasn’t day yet, not completely. The sun was just starting to rise, but it
could have been midnight and Lucifer wouldn’t have minded being woken up like
this. He noticed that they had changed positions during the night – his right
leg was now between Sam’s and one of his hands laid on Lucifer’s hip.
“Did you only kiss me last night because I asked you?” Sam wanted to know.
“Why would you ask something like that?”
Sam’s gaze softened and Lucifer felt his heart sting once again. Damn, this boy
would be the death of him.
“I wouldn’t mind if you did,” he said.
“Sam…” Lucifer felt his heart sink. Sam remembered what happened and he didn’t
seem happy about it. “I did it because you asked me to, yes. But I wanted it.”
“You did?”
“Of course, kiddo,” Lucifer purred and cupped Sam’s cheek again. “I’ve wanted
to do it since I met you.”
Sam swallowed, confusion and relief trying to both fit into his expression.
Lucifer had never seen something so cute and sweet at the same time. He slowly
leaned forward, placing another kiss on the boy’s lips. Sam kissed him back
carefully, almost as if to test out the waters, and Lucifer shoved his hand on
Sam’s hips under his shirt, pulling him a little closer. This time it was Sam
who pulled back, not without looking sad again.
“Lucifer… do you really… I mean…” Sam just babbled, unable to get a complete
sentence out. He was blushing violently, which gave him an even more innocent
look with his big hazel eyes.
“Sam, relax,” Lucifer chuckled, completely drawn in by Sam being so
embarrassed. He brushed his cheek with his thumb, smiling at him. “I said I
wanted to kiss you, nothing more.”
“I wanted you to do it,” Sam admitted and bit his lip. “In the taxi, last
night… I wanted it.”
“Sam –“
“No, please let me finish. I wanted it, Lucifer. I just… I want to stay with
you,” he closed his eyes, leaning into the touch on his cheek again. “I… I
can’t go back to her…”
“To whom? To your grandma?” Lucifer was confused, he thought Sam loved her. To
his surprise, Sam shook his head and the tears came back to his eyes.
“No… Jess. Please, don’t make me go back. She… she won’t leave me alone...”
With these words Sam threw himself into Lucifer’s arms and began to cry
unrestrained. Lucifer was shocked, but still held him against his chest,
stroking over his back and mumbling nonsense like ‘It’s okay’ and ‘I’m here’
and ‘It’ll all be good’. He could feel that Sam was absolutely mortified, but
he couldn’t imagine why. The boy was shaking and sobbing, as if the world had
just crashed down on him, and all Lucifer could do was hold him and try not to
show him how scared he was himself.
“Whatever it is, I won’t make you go back if you don’t want to,” he finally
said, pressing Sam close against him.
“She wants me to come with her, Luce!”
“You don’t have to go with her.”
What was he talking about? Lucifer had no idea, but Sam wouldn’t stop shaking.
“I told her to go away, to move on, but she won’t! She’s always there, Luce!”
“Okay… shhh, Sam, please. You have to calm down,” Lucifer carefully pushed Sam
back a little and dried his eyes with his palms. “I won’t send you away, but
you’re scaring me here.”
Sam hiccupped, shaking his head. He fought with himself to stop crying and
sobbing and Lucifer saw just how hard it was for him to keep his emotions under
control.
“Now, are you better?” Lucifer asked carefully when he thought Sam got a hold
of himself and he nodded. “Then tell me what happened.”
“Jess… we… we were together, in college,” Sam sniffed and wiped his eyes. “She
was always so nice, Luce. I never thought she could be like this…”
“Is she stalking you? Is this why you are so upset?”
“No,” Sam shook his head again. “She… she died. Six months ago.”
Lucifer’s eyes widened when he realized what Sam was talking about. He was
stalked, by a ghost…
“She won’t leave, Luce!” Sam’s voice was desperate. “I know what she wants. She
wants to drive me crazy… I can’t even tell Nana, she wouldn’t understand! She
was in my room, in her house!”
“Oh Sam…”
“I’m so scared of her… I told her I still love her and part of me always will
but… I just can’t be with her anymore, you know?”
“Of course not,” Lucifer said, trying to find his own calm again. He failed
miserably.
“I can’t do this anymore… she’s in all my classes, she’s in my room… she’s
everywhere!”
Lucifer pulled Sam back into his arms, kissing the crown of his head as he did.
He felt so horrible about all of this. Such horrible things and Sam couldn’t do
anything about it – even worse, he had to see her all the time.
“Kiddo, you can stay as long as you want,” Lucifer eventually said, drawing a
dry sob from Sam. “Fuck, I would have never told you to go back if I had known
this.”
“It’s not your fault,” Sam sniffed and pulled back. “I just… I feel safe with
you. But I don’t want to use you.”
“Oh, Sam. You don’t use me, don’t think that,” Lucifer smiled at him and pecked
his lips again.
“Really? I don’t want you to do anything just because you pity me...”
Lucifer felt a chuckle rise up in his throat and quickly swallowed it down to
not offend Sam.
“I don’t, I wouldn’t,” he said instead. “Sam, I can’t even tell you what you do
to me. You drive me crazy whenever I look at you…”
“I… I do?” Sam asked, blinking.
“God knows you do. I feel like a creepy pervert just saying this, but I want
you.”
Sam’s eyes widened a little at Lucifer’s words, but where the older man
expected disgust and fear he only saw relief. This time, Sam kissed him and
when he did, it was so desperate that Lucifer’s heart ached at the wonderful
touch and his arm wrapped around Sam’s waist again when brunet crawled onto his
lap. It felt like Sam wanted to be as close as possible and Lucifer thought
that was exactly the case.
The kiss was needy and rough, but Lucifer still kissed Sam back and when he
managed to gain control over it he turned it passionate instead. His hands slid
under Sam’s shirt completely now, brushing over the damn soft skin on his back.
At the touch, Sam broke the kiss.
“Luce…” he breathed, holding himself steady with his hands on the older one’s
chest.
“Tell me what you want, Sam, and I’ll give it to you.”
Sam’s answer was more than Lucifer could have wished for, even though the tears
in his eyes made it all so bittersweet.
“Love me,” Sam whispered, his hands shaking on Lucifer’s chest and his lips
trembling.
“I already do,” Lucifer breathed and sealed Sam’s lips again with his. If he
thought he was still falling for Sam he couldn’t have been more wrong. In this
moment, when Sam said those two words, he knew that he tried to fool himself
all along. He loved Sam from the moment they met, maybe even long before that.
***** Love Me *****
Chapter Summary
     Sam and Lucifer spend the morning after this horrible night with much
     better things - and much less tears.
When Lucifer laid Sam onto the bed and broke the kiss he knew he had never seen
something so beautiful in his life. Sam’s hands were still on his chest,
holding the shirt he wore and his teary and wonderful eyes looked up him with
more sadness than he had ever seen before.
“Are you sure about this, Sam?” He asked, worried he might do something Sam
didn’t really want and that was just a product of his desperation and
heartbreak.
Sam pulled Lucifer down with his shirt, crashing their lips together so hard
Lucifer’s whole body was shaking, both with need and anticipation.
“I want you, Luce,” Sam coaxed when he pushed the older one back, but still
kept him on himself. “Love me and make me forget how scared I am.”
Even if he wanted, Lucifer couldn’t say no to Sam. It didn’t matter why – Sam
needed him and he would rather throw himself under a bus than tell him he
wouldn’t do as he asked.
Sam lifted his arms, giving Lucifer space to pull the shirt he wore over his
head. He stopped there for a moment, unable to get his eyes off the brunet’s
chest. He was slender, yes, but Lucifer saw each of his muscles and the way his
chest moved up and down was almost hypnotizing. He let his hands run over the
tanned skin, down to his flat stomach. Sam’s breath hitched at the touch and it
was a gorgeous sight.
“You’re so damn beautiful, Sam, do you know that?” Lucifer purred, unable to
hold the words back.
“Lucifer… please…” Sam’s hands grabbed for Lucifer’s shirt again, fiddling on
it.                  
Without hesitating Lucifer grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his
head, throwing it somewhere into the distance. Sam’s fingers instantly roamed
his chest, his eyes sparkling from excitement. Lucifer let him do as he wanted,
his slender and soft fingers felt too good to stop him anyways. Now only their
boxers separated them from each other and Lucifer could feel that Sam pushed
his hips up, searching for friction. Lucifer growled and got on his knees,
shoving a hand between Sam’s legs. To this new touch, Sam’s hips bucked even
more and a silent whimper left his lips.
“You’ve never donethis before, have you?” Lucifer asked and Sam shook his head,
biting his bottom lip.
“Have you?” he asked, drawing a smile from Lucifer as he leaned down.
He pressed a kiss onto Sam’s stomach, causing him to shiver. His hand began
rubbing over Sam’s crotch and the reaction he caused with the touch made
Lucifer hard in his own boxers.
“A few times, I’ll be careful, okay?” he asked and looked up into Sam’s eyes.
He kissed his way down to Sam’s navel, listening to the wonderful sounds he got
in return. He felt that Sam was getting hard and slid his hand into his boxers,
making Sam gasp loudly. “Do you like that, Sam?” Lucifer purred.
“Y-Yes… please, please keep going...” Sam whimpered. His hands clawed into
Lucifer’s shoulders as he followed his pleas. He slowly wrapped his hand around
Sam’s cock, feeling how adrenaline rushed through him at just how perfect it
felt and how much Sam seemed to love it. Carefully, Lucifer began stroking him.
Sam grew in Lucifer’s hand and he began moaning silently while his fingernails
dug into Lucifer’s skin.
Lucifer’s free hand was shaking as he tried holding himself up and suddenly Sam
grabbed his arm, pulling on it. The older man looked up confused.
“Too fast?” he asked, but Sam shook his head. He pulled on Lucifer’s arm again
and the other gave in, pulling his hand out of Sam’s boxers to come closer.
Once they were face to face, Sam wrapped his arms around Lucifer’s neck and
buried his face against it. Lucifer smiled and kept himself up with his left
hand, brushing his right along Sam’s side gently. He could feel Sam’s breath
against his skin as he started kissing his neck.
“Sam…” Lucifer groaned and shoved his hand under the boy’s back as he ached up.
“I want you, Luce…” Sam whispered against his skin, kissing him again. “I want
to feel you.”
“I want you too,” Lucifer murmured and turned his head enough to be able to
steal a real kiss from Sam. He easily slid his tongue into his mouth, causing
Sam to moan into his. Lucifer’s hand shoved Sam’s boxers down as he kept
bucking his hips against Lucifer’s hard crotch. “I don’t wanna hurt you,
kiddo.”
“You won’t…” Sam promised with a shaky voice, his face flushing from being
completely exposed.
Slowly Lucifer pushed himself back up, taking in every inch of Sam’s body. He
kept him down with one hand, the other trailing down his chest and stomach –
stopping just before his legs. Sam was beautiful, everywhere. Lucifer never
felt so much love for anyone and when he brushed his fingertips over Sam’s hard
and perfect cock he held his breath, trying to keep this moment saved in his
head forever.
“Luce?” Sam asked carefully and Lucifer smiled at the confused tone in his
voice.
“I can’t get over how fucking beautiful you are, Sam.” he said and looked up
with warm eyes. “I could look at you forever…”
Sam blushed even more at these words, his cock twitching under Lucifer’s
fingers.
“Please, Lucifer… touch me, okay?” he whined.
Lucifer did as he asked, his fingers running along Sam’s cock. He kept his eyes
locked with Sam’s as he brought them up his mouth, sliding them in and sucking
on them to get them wet. Sam had never donethis before but he still spread his
legs wide, as if the act came naturally to him.
“Just relax, I will be gentle,” Lucifer promised. Carefully he lifted Sam’s
hips up with one hand while spreading his firm cheeks with the other. He took
his time, just brushed over Sam’s skin a few times to see the reaction he’d
get.
Sam writhed underneath him, panted with every brush of Lucifer’s fingers. When
Lucifer pushed against his crack Sam tensed for a second, but immediately
relaxed again when Lucifer took one of his hands in his own and kissed his
knuckles.
“Slow, kiddo,” he murmured and pushed one of his fingers inside Sam’s tight and
virginal hole.
Sam bucked his hips, a gasp mixing with a moan and his eyes widened. Lucifer
stopped, let Sam get used to the feeling and only began moving his finger when
he relaxed again. This alone was the best feeling he had ever felt, but he knew
no matter how much he wanted to just takeSam, he had to be careful.
“You feel so good, Sam…” Lucifer purred, his eyes watching the other closely as
he slowly inserted a second finger. Sam moaned again, but this time he pushed
himself onto Lucifer’s fingers instead of tensing. “So good. I’ll make you all
ready for me, okay, kiddo?”
“Yes, yes… want you, Luce…” Sam whimpered, gripping Lucifer’s hand tighter.
“Want to feel you…”
“You will, soon.”
Lucifer was so hard for Sam already that it was difficult to hold himself back
and not just slam into him. But this wasn’t something to rush, no. He wanted to
savor every secondof it. He leaned over a little, grabbed behind the small lamp
on the nightstand where he kept his wallet, and pulled out a condom he kept in
there for emergencies. With only one hand it was hard getting the job done, but
he managed to open the wrapper with his teeth and roll it over his cock with a
little work. While he did this, Sam watched his every motion, his lips slightly
parted and his breath hitching.
When Lucifer began moving his fingers again, alongside Sam pushing himself
against his hand, he asked himself how he could ever have believe this was
wrong. Sam felt perfect, every moan and whimper Lucifer coaxed from him was
music in his ears. The boy didn’t even flinch when he worked a third finger
into him, just whispered his name as Lucifer moved and spread his ass for him.
Without any lube in sight, Lucifer brought his fingers to those perfect pink
lips. Sam immediately licked over them when he brushed them over his mouth,
before grabbing Lucifer’s wrist, sucking the fingers into his mouth eagerly.
Sam’s eyes rolled back as his tongue flicked around them and Lucifer let out a
deep moan.
“Fuck… you reallywant this, kiddo.”
He felt that Sam nodded and released his hand, fingers now wet and slick enough
so Lucifer could lube himself up easily. Just touching himself while fingering
Sam like this almost sent Lucifer over the edge, it was insane. Slowly he
pulled his fingers out and without even so much as a word Sam wrapped his legs
around Lucifer, positioning himself perfectly for him.
Lucifer’s hands held the brunet’s hips steady and he thought his heart stopped
beating from being so nervous and anticipated. The tip of his cock easily slid
into Sam, who immediately darted up and dug his nails back into Lucifer’s back.
“Shh, kiddo… we’ll take it slow, you’re in charge now.”
Sam nodded, slowly relaxing again. Lucifer’s hands didn’t hold him in place
anymore now, Sam could freely decide how much he wanted to take and how fast.
It took a few seconds before he pressed his heels against Lucifer’s back,
signing him to move.
Lucifer closed his eyes when he pushed into Sam, his tightness making his head
spin completely now. Sam didn’t even breathe at this point, he just moaned out
Lucifer’s name – a sound the blond would never forget in his life. He gasped
again when Lucifer pushed halfway in, then he begged him to stop.
“It’s okay, Sam. Just breathe for me,” Lucifer purred, gently drawing circles
on Sam’s skin with his thumbs. “Talk to me, okay? Does it hurt?”
Sam pressed his eyes close and shook his head, but from the way his teeth
gritted Lucifer knew it didhurt.
“I’m okay… I just… fuck, it feels so good, Luce…”
“I know, kiddo,” Lucifer whispered and let Sam adjust to the new feeling inside
of him. “Tell me when I can move.”
“Do it… please, do it!” Sam begged, his hands holding Lucifer’s shoulders
desperately. “I want you to do it. I don’t care if it hurts, please do it!”
Even though Lucifer hated causing Sam pain, he did as he asked and began
moving. His first thrusts only caused Sam to cry out, but when he got used to
it those cries changed and he threw his head back, moaning out in pure
pleasure.
“More, Luce, please! More!”
There was no way to deny Sam his wish and with every thrust Lucifer pushed into
him a little bit deeper. It took all his willpower to not cum from just how
tight Sam felt and when the boy suddenly screamed out he almost lost it.
“Fuck, right there!” Sam cried, pushing himself against Lucifer.
Lucifer groaned at the eagerness Sam showed and began thrusting into him again.
He did it slow, savoring the beautiful noises Sam made, but the brunet wanted
more and kept pushing himself against every thrust. So, knowing he wouldn’t
last long like this, Lucifer picked up his pace and began fucking into Sam
faster. He instantly turned the boy into a begging mess, crying for Lucifer to
fuck him harder and to just do it.
Sam’s cries and moans made Lucifer lose his last bit of control and when he
picked up an almost inhuman pace Sam just screamed his name and flung his arms
around him again. Lucifer held him with one arm as he kept hitting Sam’s
prostate with his thrusts and when Sam cried out the next time he could feel
him cum hard and hot against their stomachs – instantly sending Lucifer over
the edge too as he cried out his name.
Sam slumped against Lucifer’s chest, his face burning hot and red and
desperately trying to catch his breath somehow. After a few moments of calming
down himself, Lucifer rubbed over Sam’s back with his hand. He had never felt
something like this before. He nuzzled Sam’s face, kissing his cheek over and
over again – both because he wanted to soothe him and because it was impossible
to get enough.
“I love you, Lucifer… so much…” Sam mumbled and Lucifer swore his heart did
jumping jacks in his chest. He carefully pulled out of him, stroking over his
cheek as he did and kissed the corner of his lips.
“I love you too, Sam,” he whispered and sighed. “You were so damn good, kiddo.
So perfect.”
“No, Luce… you were,” Sam smiled at him, returning the lip pecking.
Lucifer pulled back, getting rid of the condom as fast as he could. While he
did, Sam fell back into the sheets, his eyes closed and the most eternal smile
on his lips Lucifer could imagine. After trashing the condom he crawled back
onto the bed, kissing Sam’s cheek as he hovered over him. He quickly used the
shirt he gave Sam before to clean them both up a little, smiling when Sam
chuckled under his touch.
Sam spread his arms and Lucifer more than willingly let the boy embrace him.
His own arms around Sam, Lucifer let him cuddle against his side. Even like
this Sam was nothing but perfect and Lucifer kissed his head again, smiling at
the wonderful thing that just happened.
“Don’t go away again, Luce. Please…”
“I would never, kiddo,” Lucifer promised and pulled him closer. “I will stay
with you.”
And at this, Sam smiled weakly before closing his eyes again. Lucifer followed
his example, complete and utter bliss filling him. He didn’t want to leave Sam
again, no matter what he left behind in Maine, hell, he didn’t even care what
Naomi would say at this point. He loved this boy with all his heart.
***** Ghosts *****
Chapter Summary
     Sam finally tells his grandma the truth about Jess.
The next time they woke up it was almost noon. Lucifer was already awake when
Sam opened his eyes, greeting him with a soft kiss on his lips.
“Morning, kiddo.”
Sam smiled at him and nuzzled his face against Lucifer’s before stealing
another kiss from him, longer this time. Lucifer thought that he didn’t want to
let go and when he finally pulled back his assumption turned out to be true.
“I have to help Nana today…” Sam sighed.
Lucifer cupped his cheek, gently brushing his thumb over it with a smile.
“You go help your grandma, I’ll roam the neighborhood a bit.”
At this, Sam narrowed his eyes.
“Alone?” he asked, almost scared, which made Lucifer chuckle.
“I’ll be fine, Sam. Really,” he smiled. “I’m just taking a walk, nothing will
happen, okay?”
Sam didn’t look as if he believed him, but he nodded and pulled Lucifer into a
tight hug. Lucifer wished he could come with Sam to help him, but he doubted
his grandma would like that very much. After all Lucifer was a stranger to her,
whether he rented her house or not.
“Just come back in one piece,” Sam whispered and Lucifer smiled.
“Promised,” he said and pushed him back a little. “I just want to find some
inspiration.”
Suddenly Sam’s eyes sparkled and he almost jumped off the bed, gathering his
clothes. As he dressed Lucifer shoved himself out of the bed too and slipped
into his shirt and boxers.
“I’ll give you my camera!” Sam said excited as he closed his jeans. “You can
take pictures and I’ll send you the ones from the tour yesterday.”
“That’s a great idea,” Lucifer smiled and wrapped his arms around the boy from
behind when he grabbed his shirt. “You know, I wonder what you’d say if I took
pictures of you like this…”
Sam blushed as he leaned his head back, smiling up at Lucifer.
“You won’t because if my grandma finds those I’ll be dead in a week.”
“Can’t risk that of course,” Lucifer smirked and kissed Sam’s forehead. “I’ll
get dressed, will you wait?”
Sam nodded and Lucifer quickly left the bedroom with some things to hurry.
After getting back into his shirt, Sam left the room and walked downstairs. He
knew it was probably useless, but ever since he told Lucifer the truth about
the house the thought wouldn’t leave his head. In the living room he turned
towards the mirror – only seeing himself.
“Sarah, I know you can hear me,” he whispered and took a deep breath. “Please,
I just want to talk to you.”
Sam looked into the mirror for a few moments, waiting if the ghost of Sarah
would show herself. As always, she didn’t. He didn’t know why she never showed
herself to him, but he couldn’t change it.
“Okay, then just listen,” he sighed. “Please don’t hurt Lucifer. Whatever it is
that’s keeping you here, it’s not his fault. He’s not like these guys and not
like your father. Just don’t hurt him…”
When he turned around he noticed something move from the corner of his eyes and
turned back around. The mirror was still empty, but the garden was not. Sam
sprinted towards the window and stared at the young girl outside. Sarah looked
just the way his grandma described her – long blonde hair that was covered in
blood, the ragged white nightgown brown and dirty and half of her face missing.
She simply stood there, pointing at something. Sam gulped when he followed the
direction her hand was showing him. It was the house his grandma lived in now.
He turned his head back to look at the ghost.
What was left of her mouth moved, but Sam couldn’t hear her through the closed
windows. Desperate and excited that she finally showed herself to him Sam
opened the door that led outside, not leaving her with his eyes for a second;
he knew ghosts tended to stay when one looked at them. When he stepped outside
a cold wind sent shivers through his whole body – a wind that shouldn’t be
there and that he knew only hecould feel.
“Sarah.” he said, watching the girl drop her hand. “Please, you can’t hurt him,
I –“
The ghost shook her head, pointing at the other side of the street again.
“Tell me what you mean, what did you say?”
“You will lose what you value the most.”
Sam stared at the girl in front of him and what was left of her face was
nothing more than a mask of pain. Her hand dropped again, but before Sam could
even think about to ask what she meant by that she suddenly started to flicker
before vanishing completely.
You will lose what you value the most...
Did Sarah just warn him about something or someone? Sam was completely confused
by what happened, none of this made any sense to him.
“Sam? What are you doing out here?” Lucifer laid a hand on Sam’s shoulder and
made him cringe. The boy only slowly turned around, still completely shocked.
“Sam, what happened?”
“Sarah…” Sam mumbled and shook his head. “I… I saw her.”
Lucifer’s eyes widened and he looked over his shoulder, into the mirror.
“What did she do?” he asked.
“N-Nothing… I just… I talked to her and she appeared. That’s all.”
Lucifer turned back around, grabbing Sam’s shoulders. He gave him a concerned
look.
“That’s all, really?”
“Yeah, that’s all,” Sam left the warning or whatever it was out – he didn’t
even know what it meant, why should he worry Lucifer with it even more? He
looked up and managed to crack a smile for him. “We should go get the camera,
I’m sure Nana is waiting.”
Lucifer nodded and – even though he was worried – dropped the topic for now.
Sam was right. He just hoped his grandma wouldn’t ask questions, it was kind of
obvious what happened, wasn’t it? After all Sam wore the same clothes he wore
the day before and Lucifer could still smell it on him too.
“You should go take a shower, kiddo,” he chuckled when he guided Sam out and
locked the door.
Sam nudged Lucifer’s ribs, but still smiled when they crossed the empty street.
He didn’t answer, but he knew Lucifer was right of course. He smelled of sex
and despite the scent reminding him of what happened, it was better to shower.
They quickly went inside and Sam pointed Lucifer upstairs already.
“Nana, I’m home! I’ll take a shower and then I’ll help you!” Sam shouted and
sprinted up the stairs after Lucifer, without waiting for an answer. Upstairs
he shoved Lucifer into his room and pushed the door close with a grin.
“Privacy,” he said.
Lucifer smirked and looked around Sam’s room. It was a simple one, not much
decoration or posters, but it did look nice. Of course Sam wasn’t here all the
time, so the fact that this wasn’t his personal little cave made sense. Sam
stood in front of the bed, looking kinda embarrassed.
“It’s boring, I know,” he mumbled and looked down at his feet. Lucifer chuckled
and walked over, tilting his chin up with a smile.
“You’re cute when you’re shy, but don’t talk bullshit,” he purred and sealed
Sam’s lips with his in a deep kiss. Sam’s arms wrapped around his waist and a
smile spread on his lips when they parted.
“Creepy old man,” he said.
“Filthy  little tease,” Lucifer shot back.
They both grinned when Sam pulled away and began roaming his desk.
“I know it’s here somewhere,” he mumbled while going through the drawers. “Dean
gave it to me for my last birthday, he kind of thinks I go out and take
pictures of girls for him or whatever.”
“Do you?” Lucifer asked cocky and leaned over Sam’s shoulder.
“He wishes,” Sam huffed and finally let out a victorious ‘yes!’ before turning
around. In his hands was an almost new camera. “There you go.”
Lucifer carefully took and inspected the heavy and big camera, surprised that
it was actually a fairly new model. He gave Sam a worried look.
“Are you sure you want to give me that?” he asked. “It’s damn expensive.”
“Please,” Sam waved his hand and smiled. “You won’t break it, so it’s fine.
Besides,” he pinched his nose playfully, “I know where you live.”
Lucifer laughed at this, wondering how they could have gone from strangers to
joking around like that so fast. Not that he minded of course, but it was odd.
“Alright, I’ll return it safely,” he promised. “Now, you go take a shower and
I’ll take some nice pictures, deal?”
“Deal!” Sam smiled and flung his arms around Lucifer’s neck again to kiss him.
Lucifer could get used to this for sure. Once the boy managed to get off him he
guided the older man out and promised to be there when he came back. “Maybe you
can stay over for dinner, Nana won’t mind.”
“I’d love to,” Lucifer smiled and left Sam with one last quick kiss.
Sam closed the door with a sigh. He knew he shouldn’t feel so damn happy, but
there was something about Lucifer and the way he looked at him that made his
heart jump and his stomach tingle. When he finally looked up, his grandma stood
in the kitchen door, eyeing him suspiciously. He instantly turned red.
“N-Nana!”
“Samuel Winchester, what did I just see?” she asked and braced her hips. Sam
swallowed heavily.
“I-It’s not what you think, I swear!” he defended himself, but it was a weak
excuse, he knew it.
“What would Jessica think if she knew about this?”
Sam thought he would just collapse and die. His eyes widened in shock and all
color was drained from his face. Unable to keep himself on his feet he slid
down the door and covered his face in his hands, sobbing uncontrollably when it
all came back at him.
“Sam?” his grandma asked, now without any anger in her voice.
“She’s dead, Nana!” Sam cried, not able to look up. “I couldn’t tell you, I
just couldn’t!”
“Oh, Sammy…” she walked over to him and gently took one of his hands – a small
old woman for sure, but determined as she had been at twenty. “Come here,
come.”
Sam dragged himself up with her help and she made him sit on the kitchen table
– where he instantly covered his face again and kept crying. He couldn’t hold
it back anymore, not now that he finally told her. After a few minutes his
grandma sat down too and shoved something over to him, to which he looked up.
“Here, drink that. And tell me what happened.”
Sam nodded and took the mug, a weak smile spreading on his lips. Hot cocoa with
little marshmallows in it. She used to make those for him all the time when he
was a kid and cried – it was her universal medicine. He carefully took a sip
and began talking. It was hard telling her what happened to Jess, but he did,
even though he left out the part that she still wouldn’t leave him alone.
Except from that, he told her everything. Somehow he was glad to finally get it
all out.
“I still love her, Nana…” he closed and finally looked up into her wrinkled and
sad face. “Something inside me always will…”
“Sam, I wish you would have told me.” she said and took his hand over the
table. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“You liked her so much, I didn’t want to upset you,” Sam’s shoulders sank.
“Bullocks!” she huffed and Sam flinched a little. “Don’t lie to me, Samuel. You
know I hate liars.”
“But it’s true…” Sam mumbled apologetic. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“And what about this man, Lucifer?”
“I… really, Nana… it’s not like that,” Sam blushed again, it was just
impossible not to. It felt like the truth was written all over his face. “He’s
a nice guy, really.”
“Hm.”
Sam looked up at her and noticed the typical fold on her forehead she had when
something happened that she didn’t like. He felt bad for putting her into this
situation, even if he couldn’t have prevented it.
“I’m sorry, Nana,” Sam mumbled, ashamed. “I didn’t mean to disappoint you.”
“Shut up, Samuel,” she scoffed and drank from the coffee she made herself
before and that was still untouched. “You don’t apologize for following your
heart. That’s what you did, right?”
“Y-Yes…” Sam nodded.
“Then I can’t say you did wrong. You’re old enough to make your own decisions.”
“Nana, what are you talking about?”
She looked at him with knowing eyes – eyes that always made Sam feel small.
“Do you think I didn’t notice how sad you were, Sam?” Her voice was calm and
understanding, but Sam stared at her in absolute confusion. How could she have
known? He had tried his best not to give anything away when he was around her.
“I…”
“Look, I don’t want to know what happened,” Sam’s grandma said suddenly and sat
up straight. “I see you’re wearing your clothes from yesterday, your hair is a
mess and you weren’t home last night. I’m not dumb, Sam. I just want to know
one thing.”
“W-What is it?” Sam asked carefully, blushing violently. It couldn’t get worse
than this, no way. She knew what happened, she fucking knew. He’d never be able
to look at her again.
“Were you careful?”
If Sam thought he couldn’t blush more before he had been definitely wrong. His
face turned bright red at the question and he pulled his hand back as if he
burned it in hers.
“Nana!”
How could she ask such a thing and look so innocent doing it? Sam jumped up and
pushed his chair back, abandoning the last bit of cocoa.
“Just making sure, Sam,” she said casually and sipped from her cup again. “You
can invite him over for dinner tonight, I’ll cook something nice. And go get
your shower, young man. You need it.”
Sam turned on his heels and stormed into the bathroom faster than ever before
in his life. He undressed on the way and stuffed the clothes deep into the
basket, cursing himself for not thinking about changing before he went back
downstairs. And how could his grandma not freak out?
“Fuck this.” Sam hissed and jumped into the shower, turning it on as hot as he
could because the house was damn cold as always. He hated this cold, it just
wouldn’t go away and he knew exactly who caused it – which didn’t make anything
better for that matter. Almost furiously Sam began scrubbing himself off and
washed his hair with a determination he only brought up when it came to this.
Fifteen minutes later he left the shower with steaming skin and wiped off the
mirror with his hand, only to reveal a very familiar face in it. He didn’t even
flinch – there was not a single day without her after all.
“Jess, please…” he whispered, closing his eyes.
He felt the hand on his shoulder, ice cold and stinging in his skin. When he
looked back into the mirror she had a smile on her face.
“Why can’t you just go, Jess?” he asked sadly.
“You’re mine, Sam…”
Her voice was cranky and made the hairs on his arms and neck stand up – not to
talk about the aching in his chest it caused him. She never spoke much, but
when she did Sam wished he would have never met her.
“I’m not, not anymore.” Sam managed to get out with a cracked voice.
This was the moment something in her appearance changed. It was almost
invisible, but Sam saw the gleaming in her eyes – she wasn’t pleased with his
answer.
“Sam.”
Now he had enough, finally. He wouldn’t play her games anymore, he just
couldn’t. Angrily he jerked forward, causing her dead hand to fall off his
shoulder. He turned around, facing the ghost of the girl he loved and had
decided to let go – something she just couldn’t do.
“Leave me alone, Jessica!” he said, his voice trembling with anger. He never
called her Jessica, never. Their whole relationship he had called her Jess and
she knew that this was his way of telling her it was over, she just hadto. In
this moment he didn’t even care for the consequences. “I don’t love you
anymore!”
With these words he pressed his eyes close and stepped forward – right through
her. It was the worst feeling in the world, as if he could taste all the hate
and anger that kept her bound to him. The real Jess had never been like this –
she was sweet and caring, not clingy and creepy. This Jess, or whatever it was,
scared him. And she was so damn cold…
Sam was already out of the door when he heard her voice again and stopped dead
in his tracks.
“Youwill love me again, Sam.”
He spun around, but Jess was gone. There was only the reflection of himself in
the mirror – pale, shaking and wide eyed – and those words hanging in the air.
Sam felt horror take over him as he realized that Lucifer was out there alone
and that his dead girlfriend just told him he would love her again. Sam never
prayed before in his life, but in this moment he got on his knees and prayed to
every god in existence and to all angels in heaven to bring the one he loved
back.
***** A Weird Day *****
Chapter Summary
     Lucifer spends the afternoon without Sam, roaming New Orleans. It's a
     very strange day though, with a lot of accidents that really don't
     seem like accidents at all to him, and when he finally decides to get
     back to Sam things take a turn for the worse.
It was a windy and hot day and Lucifer decided to take a taxi into the heart of
the city. He let the driver drop him off at the same spot as yesterday and hung
the camera Sam borrowed him around his neck to not lose it somewhere. It would
have been nice to have Sam with him, but exploring the town alone a little was
something he wanted to do anyways. And after all he could show Sam where he
went later and the day was perfect for a walk.
He started his exploration at the Zombie’s Voodoo Shop, where he asked for a
map of the city, and began strolling along the street. Here and there he took a
picture of buildings that sparked his interest, not even thinking about
anything really. It felt nice just having time to do what he wanted and with
the thought of coming back to Sam later his steps were almost feathered.
Lucifer was just about to cross the street when he felt that someone grabbed
the camera he had turned to be on his back, but when he turned around he only
saw a small girl walking past him. Frowning, he took another step forward –
only to jump back the next second with a scream. A car raced across the street
only two inches away from him, completely unseen by anyone it seemed. Lucifer
stumbled and lost his balance, landing hard on his ass in the middle of the
street. His heart was hammering in his chest and when someone spoke to him he
didn’t even register it at first.
Holy mother of god!
“Mister, are you alright?” the voice asked again and this time Lucifer heard
it. He turned his head and saw the little girl from before looking down at him.
She didn’t seem to be as shocked as he was, but worried.
“Yeah… I think I’m… fine.” Lucifer mumbled and held his head that suddenly
started to hurt.
That thing could have killed you!
“Momma says you have to be careful when you cross the street.” the little girl
announced and Lucifer managed to crack a smile for her while he dragged himself
back up.
“Your momma is right, sweetie.” he said. “I think I daydreamed.”
“I’ll help you over!” the girl held out her hand and Lucifer just had to laugh
when he took it and let the kid guide him across the street.
Now I’m a senior who needs help crossing the street.
Even though this was all kind of absurd, he mainly let her guide him over so
she would be happy – and he was still pretty shocked. He didn’t even want to
imagine what could have happened if the little girl had been one or two seconds
slower – or he had been faster.
“There you go, mister!”
The little girl let Lucifer’s hand go and smiled so brightly at him that it
even eased the shock of the situation somehow.
“Thank you, sweetie.” he smiled at her, patting her head.
The girl laughed and ran off, probably to go find her momma or her dad, and
Lucifer looked after him for a moment or two. Without even realizing it he
pulled the camera to his chest and snapped a picture of the girl. When she was
gone Lucifer looked around, but apparently the people around him either didn’t
care that there had been an almost-accident a few minutes before or they hadn’t
notice. Kind of strange, but Lucifer shrugged it off. Maybe it was just the way
things were in the south.
He continued his way, which slowly led him to the cemetery the tour guide
mentioned the day before. Lucifer wasn’t really fond of those normally, but a
visit couldn’t hurt, right? And it might make a good setting for a scene in his
book, so he was eager to take some photos there too. Luckily Sam’s camera
didn’t suffer from his fall – he wouldn’t forgive himself if it got destroyed.
Lucifer was about to walk past a café when someone suddenly screamed – a loud
and horribly terrifying screech – and he jumped back startled, his eyes
shifting around to see where the scream came from. There was nothing, except
from the people sitting next to him staring at him as if he just lost his mind.
He just made a step forward, shaking his head, when two things happened at
once.
Everyone at the café jumped up and began running into different directions and
Lucifer himself froze in place – a strange feeling of Déjà vu overwhelming him.
He looked up when he heard the screeching of metal, everything appeared to
happen in slow motion, and watched a huge sign from about fifty feet above fall
down – crashing down onto the sidewalk just where he would have been if he
didn’t stop before. Lucifer didn’t even jump back this time, he just stared at
the smashed metal in front of him with wide eyes and without even breathing.
Lucifer felt a sudden horror creep up in him and, with a grimacing face, lifted
the camera again and took a picture of the destroyed sign. Something about this
was wrong, he knew it. The car might have been an accident and he was lucky,
but just two minutes later this happened? And where did the scream come from
that apparently only he was able to hear? It took him a while to move more and
to look around. Slowly the people from the café came back, all shocked and
pale, mumbling silently and behind their hands. They stared at him too, of
course they did, and he studied their faces closely. They were mortified.
It was only when someone came out of the building and rushed over to Lucifer
that he was able to think again. It was a worker, according to his orange vest
and helmet, who grabbed him by the shoulder and began babbling apologies and
how lucky he was that it didn’t hit him. At one point Lucifer raised his hand,
stopping the waterfall of words coming from the man.
“I’m good. Nothing happened, really.” he said slowly, his eyes glaring back at
the spot he could have died minutes before. “I think I knew something would
happen and stopped just in time.”
“Thank God! I told Jerry it wasn’t secured properly, but he wouldn’t listen!”
the man looked up to where the sign had been, then grabbed Lucifer’s shoulder
tight again. “I’m so glad you stopped, man.”
“Me too, buddy. Me too.”
The man was gone quickly, probably to check if anyone else had been this close
or was even hurt, but Lucifer didn’t even think about him anymore. He wanted to
get away from this place – as fast as he could. Carefully he walked around the
sign, the camera clutched to his chest and not even feeling his legs right now.
He was completely occupied by his own thoughts.
Something is dead wrong here, you have to get back to Sam.
He wasn’t even gone for two hours, if he went back now Sam would think
something happened. Not that it didn’t, but maybe those were just coincidences.
The thought that the car was meant to hit him, or the sign, was laughable. But
then again there was this nagging feeling inside of him… could it be this
ghost, Sarah? Could she have followed him to do the same to him she did to
Sam’s uncle?
“That’s idiotic.” Lucifer said aloud, frowning. He ignored the people walking
by that gave him strange looks and shook his head. “No one’s trying to kill
you.”
It was hard convincing himself of those words, because something was off about
all of this. But why should Sarah try to kill him? Sam said she never killed
anyone else again and Lucifer did nothing to her. Still, he would be more
careful, he decided. He couldn’t let a ghost, or whatever it was, stop him from
living after all.
With a bitter taste in his mouth he continued his way towards the cemetery,
determined to just take a few pictures and wait until it was four or five to go
back to Sam. He wouldn’t go near something that could crash onto or into him
again, so much he knew. No need to duel fate.
Lucifer reached the cemetery without another incident, even though he had the
slight feeling of being watched the whole time. Not the feeling of someone
looking over his shoulder, but of someone – or something – watching every step
he took. It was eerie somehow, especially when this feeling intensified once he
entered the cemetery gates.
The cemetery itself was huge and Lucifer indeed recognized it from various
movies he had seen through his life. It was beautiful, especially since many of
the catacombs were already suffering from decay and moss grew over their roofs.
He took a lot of photos from different monuments, from the pathways and the
statues he found, and spent a good half hour on the cemetery before he heard
something besides the crows for the first time. He looked up, tilting his head
and waited for it to come back. It did.
Lucifer followed the strange sound – almost sounding like a whisper – to one of
the catacombs at the far end of the cemetery. It was by far one of the oldest,
almost looking as if it would collapse any minute. The whisper was louder now,
definitely coming from inside. He carefully sneaked closer and pressed his ear
against the almost completely rotten door, holding his breath.
It felt like an eternity of silence – Lucifer almost believed he just imagined
the whispers – when suddenly something scratched on the wooden surface, from
the inside. His eyes widened and he stepped back as fast as he could. The
scratching intensified, as if something desperately wanted to get out of there
and Lucifer didn’t think twice – he turned on his heels and got the hell away
from there. The whisper didn’t occur again, but when he left the path he heard
a cranky and high pitched laughter that made the hairs on his neck stand up. At
the gate of the cemetery he finally stopped, bracing his hands on his knees to
regain his breath and to calm himself down somehow – his heart was still
hammering in his chest like mad.
He would just leave. Get a taxi, drive back to Sam and never mention any of
this to him. It sounded like the perfect plan, only that he knew it wouldn’t
work this way. Sam would see that something happened, he had a sixth sense when
it came to things like that.
Lucifer’s ribs hurt when he finally stood straight again, his lungs were still
protesting from his lack of proper breathing. He looked over his shoulder, just
in time for an icy wind to come up and tuck on his clothes – a wind that
shouldn’t have been there on such a hot day. It was the last thing to tell him
that he needed to get away before even worse things could happen. He managed to
calm down enough to not trip when he left the cemetery, but his hands were
shaking when he waved for a passing taxi to stop.
Lucifer barely managed to tell the driver where to go before he drove off to
get back into the flowing traffic. Now Lucifer allowed himself to relax a
little and sank into the seat, closing his eyes. He felt drained and weak
somehow. There wasn’t even anything specific he could blame it on – it was
everything. If something was after him, how on earth was he supposed to make it
stop? He wasn’t Sam, he couldn’t feel and see those things. An angry ghost on
his heels was not a pleasant experience in his eyes.
“Hey, dude. Seems like we’ll take a little longer.”
Lucifer opened his eyes and shot the driver a confused look, only now realizing
they had stopped. He looked out of the windows, only seeing other cars around
them.
“Traffic jam?” he asked and the guy nodded.
“Bad timing.  Everyone wants to go home, stupid holidays if you ask me.”
“Just get me there, I don’t care how long it takes.”
Lucifer leaned his head back, sighing. He didn’t mind them taking longer, but
he wanted to get off the streets. Somehow he felt like a target when being
trapped in a metal cage. If only he would have gotten Sam’s number so he could
tell him he was on his way back – like this he had to wait and waiting was the
worst in this situation.
He shoved himself away from his spot behind the driver – annoyed by the
constant pain his current seat caused him – and groaned. As if the car was
kicking his back, awesome. Somehow – even though he didn’t do it before – he
closed his seatbelt this time.
They only moved a few feet every other minute and Lucifer slowly lost his
patience when he heard the driver curse all of a sudden. Before he could even
open his eyes to see what happened he heard a deafening bang and his head
smashed against the window next to him – sending spirals of simply pain through
his body as he screamed out. Glass rained down on him and somewhere was another
scream – but Lucifer barely heard anything after this first hard blow.
Lucifer’s eyes opened just enough to see the red strain his vision gained and
when his eyes fell on the driver he thought his heart would stop. The man was
as dead as can be. What was left of his body was splattered with glass, his
hands still gripping the steering wheel tight and his head had turned into a
smashed pumpkin. Whether it was his body giving up or the sight in front of
him, Lucifer didn’t know – he simply embraced the darkness surrounding him.
-----
“Sir, can you hear me?”
The voice came from the darkness, silent and as if the person talking had
cotton wool in his mouth. And there was pain – not the kind that would make him
scream, but it was unpleasant.
“Sir, can you hear me?”
Lucifer groaned, a sound that felt so wrong because it was all cracked and
dark. With a lot of willpower he managed to push the darkness away by opening
his eyes. A young man looked at him, his face showing so much relief that
Lucifer’s chest stung – crystal blue eyes piercing through him, even though
they were half covered with sweaty black streaks.
“Thank God, you’re alive.” the man, a paramedic apparently, sighed and turned
around. “Hey Balthz! Come here and help me get him out!” Lucifer’s head was
ringing when the man yelled and he grimaced at the new wave of pain it caused.
Another man came running – taller, blonde and not much older than the other –
and the two cut the seatbelt that still secured Lucifer before carefully
pulling him out of the car. Carefully they laid him on a gurney. Every muscle
in his body hurt.
“Okay man, don’t worry. No blood, you had a few guardian angels watching over
you it seems.” the still nameless paramedic wasn’t at all able to stop his
voice from shaking, but Lucifer hoped he wasn’t lying. They put a collar around
his neck to support it and rolled him into the transport. Suddenly though,
Lucifer grabbed the paramedic’s wrist harshly. “What’s wrong?” the young man
asked, instantly worried.
“C-Cam…era…” Lucifer managed to press out and the man stared at him in
confusion. “Car…”
“Oh.” the paramedic nodded and shared a relieved look with his co-worker before
walking back to the car wreck. A few seconds later he held the camera up –
destroyed.
“Fuck…” Lucifer groaned.
“Don’t worry, man. It’s just a camera, right?” the paramedic tried to console
Lucifer with a smile. They pushed him into their transporter and the nameless
one stayed with him, while Alan left. After a few moments the one staying
behind knocked on something and the engine started. He turned back to Lucifer,
still smiling. “You’re not hurt much. We’ll get you checked up and you can
leave today if you don’t have any inner bleedings.”
“The camera…” Lucifer’s voice slowly became his own again, even though the pain
stayed mostly.
“It’s not yours, I guess?”
“Friend’s… he’ll be… mad.”
The young man chuckled and put the demolished camera into one of Lucifer’s
hands.
“Your friend won’t care about the camera, trust me. He’ll be glad you are
alive.”
Lucifer didn’t say anything for a while and simply closed his eyes. This was
too much, all of it. Nearly dying in a car accident and now Sam’s camera was
broken too. He promised to take care of it.
“Hey, maybe the pictures are still there!” The paramedic suddenly said and took
the camera back, fiddling with it. Lucifer carefully opened his eyes and saw
that he held up a small square. “See? It’s still intact.”
This should have calmed Lucifer down at least a little, but it didn’t. He swore
as soon as he got out of the hospital he would get Sam a brand new camera. It
wouldn’t be the same, but it was all he could do.
They arrived at the hospital after about fifteen minutes and rolled Lucifer
into the building. Luckily, since he just survived a deadly car accident, he
was quickly checked up by a doctor. Apparently he had two bruised rips, a mild
concussion and several bruises. Nothing broken, not even his head – that still
felt like it would explode every second. When the doctor told him to stand up
he managed it on the second try – the shock only slowly leaving his body.
He was able to walk without much problems after a few shaky steps and the
doctor nodded satisfied.
“You really have a hard working guardian angel. If you would’ve sat on the
other side you wouldn’t be here now.” The doctor said serious and wrote
something down on his clipboard. “You can go home, but try to rest today. Take
two of these now,” he handed Lucifer two small capsules. “And when you feel the
pain coming back you take another one. But only for the next two days. It
should be better then.”
“Thank… you.” Lucifer croaked and sighed. God, how could he go back to Sam now
without worrying him completely? And how on earth would he get there without
another of those weird accidents?
“You know, I’ve seen a lot of car crash victims,” The doctor said and eyes
Lucifer closely as he swallowed the two capsules with some water. “But you’re
pretty tough and you were very lucky.”
“The driver wasn’t…” Lucifer said silently, the water helping his throat to
relax a little.
“No, but if it helps you, he was dead in impact. Like you would have been if –“
“If I sat on the other side, right.” Lucifer nodded slowly, frowning.
“Take it easy, you won’t suffer any permanent damage. Get yourself some
painkillers for your ribs and don’t take too much on yourself for a few weeks.”
“Yeah… I won’t.”
The doctor led Lucifer outside to the check in, where a nurse made his receipt
ready. Lucifer didn’t really react when she handed it to him, just stuffed it
into his pocket and turned around.
“Hey, man! Wait!” a familiar voice made Lucifer stop and narrow his eyes. When
he turned around he saw the young paramedic running towards him. “Hey… don’t
forget this!”
Lucifer took the small card and stared at it for a second, completely confused.
Then it finally clicked what it was and he nodded.
“Thanks, um…”
“Cas.” the man smiled and held out his hand. “I’m glad you’re good, really. And
don’t worry, your friend will be glad enough that you’re back. You going to him
now?”
Lucifer nodded again, but didn’t answer. He had no idea if he even wanted to go
back to Sam anymore, even though every part of him ached to see the brunet
again. Cas seemed to feel his trouble and chuckled.
“Do you want me to drive you over?” he asked, making Lucifer look up. “I doubt
you want to get into a taxi again, right?”
“Not so fast.” Lucifer huffed and managed to crack a smirk. “Thanks, man.
That’s… yeah. Thanks.”
“Give me five minutes, my shift is over anyways.” Cas said and patted Lucifer’s
arm carefully. He ran off again and Lucifer just stood there, waiting. All he
really wanted to do now was have a huge bottle of Scotch and just pass out
somewhere, but he couldn’t do that to Sam. The kid was waiting for him to come
back and he just had to keep at least one promise.
Cas came back a few minutes later, throwing a jacket over his shoulder.
“Ready to go?” he asked.
“I need a new camera. And meds.” Lucifer said and looked him straight in the
eyes – leaving a no out of question for an answer. Cas still smiled and nodded.
“Sure. Meds first, then you can get your friend a new camera.”
He led Lucifer outside and around the building where his car parked. Lucifer
felt a lump build up in his sore throat when he slid into the passenger’s seat,
his hands immediately buckling the seatbelt up. He’d never forget this again,
ever. His hands were sweating and his heart beat ten times faster than usual
when Cas started the engine and drove off the hospital parking lot.
The drug store was only half a block away and Cas offered to go inside to fetch
the meds, much to Lucifer’s relief. He hated to depend on a guy he just met –
especially under these circumstances – but he was also glad to not be
completely alone right now. Somehow he knew when he was with someone who
actively watched him nothing bad would happen. Their next stop was fifteen
minutes away and this time Lucifer got out too. After all it was his fault he
had to be there. And at least the headache slowly began to get less intense.
After going through some medium priced cameras in the shop Lucifer’s eyes fell
on a very expensive one. He walked over and felt Cas’s eyes pierce through his
back.
“That’s a blast, man.” the younger man hissed when Lucifer took a closer look.
He was right. This camera was a monster compared to the other, but it was
exactly what he was looking for. It had everything, screw the price.
“Sam is a blast too.” Lucifer said and smiled weakly at the black haired one,
who returned it the same.
Lucifer gladly paid the two thousand and six hundred bucks for this gift with
his credit card and had it packed up neatly before they left the store. He
still felt guilty – that wouldn’t go away just by getting Sam a new camera –
but he hoped that it would make Sam smile at least. Maybe he could one day
apologize to his brother for ruining his birthday gift.
Cas kept his promise and drove Lucifer all the way back to his house, almost
through half of the city. Lucifer didn’t talk much, but he was glad that the
other didn’t seem to mind and instead talked about the streets and places they
passed. It made for a nice background noise while Lucifer debated how he could
explain to Sam what happened. He couldn’t deny he had an accident, one half of
his face was bruised and from what he had seen in the mirror his whole body
looked the same.
They pulled up in front of Sam’s house around seven and Lucifer thanked Cas for
the ride, just earning a chuckle and a wink from the other as he got out.
“You know, your friend is a lucky one. Be nice to him.” Cas said before he
drove off and Lucifer smiled a little brighter. Actually, he was the lucky one.
Lucky to have Sam. With a sigh he dragged himself up the stairs and rang the
bell. He didn’t want to go back to his own place now – the thought of being
alone in there with a vengeful ghost wasn’t really pleasant.
***** The End *****
Chapter Summary
     Lucifer and Sam finally reunite in Miss Campbell's house, but somehow
     things just won't get better and Jess isn't happy about Sam's new
     relationship. She decides that, if she can't have Sam, no one is
     going to.
Sam must have been busy, because his grandma opened the door and nearly got a
heart attack when she saw the bruised man on her doorstep, holding up a
present. She stared at him wide-eyed for a moment before grabbing his arm and
pulling him inside – with way too much strength for such a tiny lady in
Lucifer’s eyes, which kind of made him smile.
“Jesus Christ! What happened to you?” she asked as she maneuvered him into the
kitchen so he could sit down.
“I got into the wrong taxi, ma’am.” Lucifer said, unable to hold the smile back
from her. She gave him a look that was almost creepy, then shook her head.
“You look like the world spit you out, son. Do you want a coffee? A beer?”
Lucifer raised a brow, but her face told him that she wasn’t joking. She had
beer.
“If it’s not too much trouble, I could need a cold beer now.” he said as
innocent and hurt as possible.
Miss Campbell nodded with a ‘mhm’, as if she expected the answer, and got a
bottle out of the fridge and – much to Lucifer’s surprise – a second one for
herself. Lucifer pushed the present a little away and opened the two bottles as
she sat down, sighing audibly.
“Thank you, ma’am. This day was hell.” Lucifer said silently.
“Now, tell me, what happened?”
“Well, I wanted to get back here, took a taxi and at a stop light or something
it got hit by a truck.” Lucifer gulped some of his beer down, closing his eyes
at the relieving cold in his throat. “The driver didn’t make it, I just got
some scratches and a few bruised rips.”
“You had some luck there, son.” she said serious and sipped a tiny bit from her
beer. Lucifer thought she’d take a week to finish it at this rate, but he was
thankful for his own so he didn’t say anything. “Sam is back soon, a friend of
him called and asked if he wanted to take the dogs out for a walk.”
“That’s nice.” Lucifer said and groaned. The pain had turned into a simple dull
pressure by now, but it hurt when he moved, especially in his chest.
“What’s in this?” Miss Campbell asked and pointed at the present.
“Sam lent me his camera, but… it broke during the accident.” Lucifer answered,
ashamed and avoided her eyes. “I got him a new one instead. I know it’s not the
gift his brother gave him, but I had to get him one.”
“You think Sam will care for a broken camera when you look like this?” she
asked and Lucifer gave her a confused look with a raised brow.
“Excuse me, ma’am?”
“I told Sam already, I’ll tell you too. You are adults, you can do whatever you
want. But don’t lie to me, Lucifer Morningstar. I can’t stand liars.”
Lucifer swallowed at the use of his real name and felt a cold shiver run down
his spine. Her glare on him was harsh, as if she looked right through all his
masks and read him like an open book. And there was this feeling again – like
energy waving between them. The same feeling he had when Sam refused to call
him Luci. This woman wasn’t just a tough old lady…
This woman is a seer – she seesallof you.
It was unable to deny that his mind, for once, knew the truth. Lucifer didn’t
feel any anger coming from her, nothing negative to be honest. But she knew
things she shouldn’t know and that scared him a little – even after all that
happened today. He wondered what else she knew.
“I… I’m sorry… I really didn’t mean to –“ Lucifer could barely get the words
out, but at his weak attempt to speak her facial expression softened a little
and she smiles slightly.
“It’s okay, as long as you treat my grandson with respect.” miss Campbell said
and lifted his gaze. It took some of the tension out of Lucifer, finally. “He’s
been through a lot, I couldn’t prevent all the bad things that happened.” she
continued, almost quiet now. “He was always a good kid, not like his brother
who liked causing chaos all over. And he still visits when he can.”
“I know, ma’am. Sam is great.”
“Of course he is.” she huffed, as if Lucifer’s words personally offended her,
and he chuckled. “Sam will finish his college degree and become a lawyer. He is
passionate about it and I’m very proud of him.” she gave him a strict look. “He
is a good boy.”
“I know that he is and I have no intention of changing that.” Lucifer lifted
his hands in defense.
“You better not. I know you’re not a drug addict or a criminal, you may have a
slight problem with alcohol, but you are not a bad person. Try keeping it that
way.”
Again Lucifer could only be baffled by just how much this woman knew and nodded
slowly.
“I will cook now, feel free to make yourself comfortable. The living room is
over there.” she pointed at the door behind Lucifer, who took it as a sign to
leave.
The living room turned out to be kind of a hobbit cave, small and stuffed with
all kinds of trinkets. Lucifer kind of felt like a giant when he walked over to
the two couches and sat down on one. It was very different to the living room
in the house he had rented, but Lucifer couldn’t deny it was comfy. He browsed
through one of the magazines on the table while Sam’s grandma began cooking and
soon the first smells of spices filled the air with a heavenly scent.
Fifteen minutes later the door opened and a smile crept on Lucifer’s swollen
lips.
“I’m back, Nana!”
“Great, get out of your shoes, boy, you have a guest!”
There was silent for a moment before Sam basically came running into the living
room as if death chased him. Lucifer instantly knew something wasn’t right –
the brunet was pale and his eyes were wide and red as if he had cried. He
pushed himself up, ignoring the stinging pain in his chest as he did and walked
over to pull Sam into his arms. Despite the aching his bruised rips caused him,
Lucifer held Sam tight against himself, a hand brushing through his far too
wild mane.
“I was scared you wouldn’t come back.” Sam whispered against Lucifer’s shirt
and the blond pressed a soft kiss on his head.
“I am, it’s all good now.” he assured the boy, who now pushed himself back.
Sam’s eyes widened even more when he inspected the older one closely – fingers
tenderly brushing over his bruised face and lips. Lucifer let him do as he
pleased, closing his eyes at the touch.
“What happened?” Sam finally asked with a sad voice and Lucifer looked back at
him.
“An accident, nothing more. But your camera broke, kiddo.” he gave Sam a sad
smile before taking one of his hands and basically pulling him onto the couch.
“I got you a new one – only the pictures survived the crash sadly.”
“Forget the camera, you’re hurt!” Sam brushed his words off and took Lucifer’s
hands. “Tell me how that happened. I need to know all that happened.”
Lucifer sighed. Telling Sam all this wasn’t something he wanted, but it was
impossible to say no. Sam was devastated and scared – he had to tell him. So he
did. He talked until Sam’s grandma called them for dinner and only paused long
enough for Sam to drag him into his room once they were done to continue. He
left nothing out, starting from the car that almost ran over him, to the sign
and the cemetery and ending with the crash that killed an innocent man. Sam got
even paler as he kept going, his hands clutching Lucifer’s as if he would
disappear if he let go.
“I felt like someone chased me, really.” Lucifer closed and shook his head. “As
if Sarah somehow followed me around.”
“No… that wasn’t Sarah.” Sam whispered with tears in his eyes. He bit his
bottom lip as he tried not to burst into sobbing and was shaking like a leaf.
“What do you mean?” Lucifer asked gently and pulled him a little closer. “Have
you seen anything?”
“I saw Sarah, but she… it felt like she tried to warn me.” Sam sniffed. “But
Jess… she said…”
“Shhh, c’mere, kiddo.” Lucifer closed his arms around the shaking boy, trying
to calm him down somehow. He felt horrible for putting Sam through this, as if
he wouldn’t have enough problems already. “I’m alive, okay? It’s alright.”
“No… you don’t understand…” Sam shook his head, but wouldn’t let go of the
blond. “She said she’s make me love her again, Luce… she… I think she did it…”
“If Jess did this… why didn’t she succeed?”
Sam shivered in Lucifer’s arms and pushed himself back harshly.
“Don’t ask that! Do you want to be dead?”
“Of course not!” Lucifer took one of Sam’s hands again, brushing over it with
his thumb. “But something always stopped me… with the car I thought someone
grabbed the camera.” He watched Sam frown as he continued. “Before the sign
fell down I heard a scream but no one else did. And with the crash… I felt like
someone pressed their knee into my back so I switched sides.”
“What… what if it was Sarah?” Sam asked, confusion written all over his face.
Lucifer hadn’t thought about that. But, if Sam was right and Sarah tried to
warn him, maybe he warned him about Jess? What if there were two ghosts, one
trying to kill him and one trying to prevent it? “Luce?”
“You could be right…” Lucifer mumbled, still thinking about what this all
meant. The day before he didn’t believe in ghosts and now one of them tried to
get him out of the way so her ex-boyfriend would be hers again? This was… he
didn’t know what. It should be terrifying, but somehow he felt different since
he was here, especially since Sam was there. Out there, alone, Lucifer had felt
like prey to an invisible predator. Now this feeling was reduced to just being
uneasy, not completely helpless anymore.
“She won’t stop trying to hurt you…” Sam suddenly whispered, breaking Lucifer
out of his reverie. He looked up at him, the sadness in those beautiful hazel
eyes overwhelming. “Lucifer, I’m scared. She won’t leave me, I told her that I
want her to leave, that I don’t love her anymore…”
“Do you still love her?” Lucifer asked carefully and slowly, very slowly, Sam
shook his head.
“That’s not my Jess, Luce. She was so sweet, she was caring and warm…” He
turned his head, his free hand rubbing over the goosebumps on his arm. “This…
thing, it’s so full of hate…”
“You’re blaming yourself for not loving her anymore, am I right?”
Again Sam shook his head, a small tear escaping his eyes.
“I loved her, but I don’t love this monster she has become. Her death… it
destroyed me.” he turned his head, a painful smile on his lips that didn’t
match the tears he cried. “I’m not on spring break, Lucifer. They kicked me out
of college…”
“Why?” Lucifer asked confused and rested his hands on Sam’s back, gently
drawing circles on his back with his thumbs.
“My grades dropped, I just couldn’t do anything anymore. Jess… she was
everywhere.” Sam shuddered at the thought. “I didn’t leave my dorm room for the
last two months, just to get food…”
“Oh, Sammy…”
Sam wiped his tears away and slowly shook his head. “She wants me to come with
her… she won’t stop.”
“You’re not going anywhere, kiddo.” Lucifer said strict and pulled the brunet
on his lap before closing his arms around him – Sam’s head leaning against his
chest. “I’m here now, if you want I’ll stay here and don’t leave you alone
again, okay? Come, you need rest and god knows I do too.”
Lucifer carefully pulled Sam down with himself so they laid on the bed, arms
wrapped around each other in an embrace that pulled them both together as tight
as possible. Sam was still shaking and sobbing, Lucifer’s hands brushing
through his soft and long hair and caressing his back could only do so much to
soothe him. He felt helpless and more than ever before wished he could simply
take Sam and leave – go back to Maine, go anywhere, just take the boy with him
so he was away from all of this.
“Sleep, kiddo. Tomorrow everything’s better, okay?”
“Just don’t go away again… she will hurt you.” Sam whispered, his voice already
showing that he was drifting away in Lucifer’s arms.
“I’m not going anywhere, not if you don’t want me to.”
With a weak sigh Sam relaxed a little and cuddled against the older man’s
chest, who carefully reached behind himself to turn off the light. He knew he
should rest too. A concussion, no matter how mild it was, needed him to. The
only thing he truly wanted was to watch over Sam, but after half an hour or so
his eyes simply shut and he was out too.
---
Lucifer should have known things wouldn’t be so easy, but when Sam suddenly
jolted up in the middle of the night he still woke up with panic taking over
him. Sam was off the bed already, rushing over to the window, and Lucifer
shoved himself out of it too – groaning as another wave of pain shot through
his chest.
“What happened?” Lucifer asked and followed Sam’s horrified glare.
The house on the other side of the street was well-lit and Lucifer swallowed
heavily when he noticed shadows moving behind the closed windows and just as he
wanted to say something else one of the windows burst – literally burst into
millions of glass shards – and he felt an icy sting in his guts.
“No… oh god, please no…” Sam’s voice was a terrified whisper and his hands
grabbed the window ledge so tight his knuckles turned white. His eyes were
reflecting the street lights, but there was a darkness in them Lucifer had
never seen before.
“Sam, what –“
But before he could finish his sentence Sam pushed himself off the window and
headed for the door. Lucifer was so scared that he didn’t even think twice – he
simply followed the brunet down the stairs and when they stepped into the
unusual cold of the night his heart sank to his stomach. Sam was almost running
now and Lucifer had a hard time catching up with the athletic one, thanks to
his weakened condition. They made it to the house within seconds and the door
flew open without one of them even touching it.
“Sam, stop!” Lucifer had finally caught up with the boy and grabbed his arm in
a desperate attempt to hold him back. “You can’t go in there!”
“It’s Jess, Lucifer!” Sam’s head flew around and the look on his face was
complete bewilderment. “She’s going to kill her, I know it!”
Lucifer’s hand dropped down, all strength leaving him in this moment. Sam took
the chance and ran into the house and for a few moments Lucifer could just
stare at the flickering lights and the sounds of a fight from the inside –
sounds that shouldn’t come from an empty house in the middle of the night. When
his feet finally moved it was only because he heard Sam’s terrified voice
calling out for his dead girlfriend.
“Jess! Stop it!”
Lucifer basically made it inside before the door slammed shut behind him. He
stumbled through the corridor, reaching the living room only to reveal a
picture that would never leave his mind again.
The figure of a young girl about Sam’s age stood – no, levitated – in the
middle of the room, her hair flowing in every direction and her eyes white and
ripped open, spreading so much hate that Lucifer could feel goosebumps rise on
his arms and neck. She stared at Sam, who was cowering on the ground in front
of her crying, and one of her arms was stretched out. This was the post
horrible thing about all of this, her arm and the hand wrapping around the
throat of the little girl Lucifer had seen in the mirror on his first day.
Sarah, the little girl, struggled and shrieked in a voice so high-pitched that
it drilled into Lucifer’s ears and almost deafened him. It was the sound and
the completely hopeless expression on her face that made his heart stop – she
knew she was going to die again and she was terrified of it.
Jess’ hand closed tighter around Sarah’s throat, causing the windows behind
them to crack and burst at the waves of pure energy she produced. Lucifer
wanted to scream, yell – anything to stop this – but his voice was completely
gone and he was forced to watch the horror in front of him.
“You are mine, Sam!” Jess screeched and the words filled the air with a painful
cold.
“Jess, please!” Sam begged, more tears running down his cheeks and it broke
Lucifer’s heart to be unable to walk over to him. He was frozen in place and
couldn’t do anything to stop this. “Please let her go, you don’t want her!”
“You will love me, Sam! I am all you have left, you are mine now and forever!”
Sam cried out in desperation when Jess raised her free hand and pushed it
through Sarah’s chest with so much force that the little girl’s ghost screamed
out again – breaking the mirror on the wall and every other breakable object in
the house at once. Lucifer watched her body turn into a bright light before it
collapsed into itself and it looked like a million of small light dots vanished
in the air. Sara’s ghost was gone, killed by the vengeful spirit Jess had
become. More heartbreaking though, was the way Sam reacted – as if he felt the
pain and horror the little girl’s ghost suffered and he bent over in agony.
Minutes passed and Lucifer could only hear Sam’s crying and sobbing and the
eerie humming sound coming from Jess, who kept staring at him with her dead
eyes full of madness. Finally, when Lucifer couldn’t take the picture in front
of him anymore without breaking down himself, Sam moved. His hands on the floor
clenched to fists and he looked up with the most broken expression Lucifer had
ever seen.
“Okay, Jess…” he whispered and Lucifer’s body tensed up. “I will come with you.
Just… just leave him alone. He isn’t part of this… let him go and I will come
with you.”
“SAM, NO!” Lucifer shouted, finally able to break through whatever spell Jess
put on him in his desperation. He darted forward, stumbled into the room and
crashed on his knees next to Sam’s shaking figure. “You can’t do that, Sam!” He
was crying too now, without even realizing it, and gripped Sam’s hands as tight
as he could with his own.
“Lucifer, go! I have to do this! She will kill you if I don’t!”
“Come with me, for god’s sake, I beg you!” Lucifer couldn’t believe Sam was
willing to do this, to sacrifice himself so Jess wouldn’t hurt him. But Sam
didn’t listen, he just shook his head and spread those tears everywhere through
his closed eyes.
“I can’t let her hurt you, Luce…”
Before Lucifer could say anything else he was pulled away from the brunet with
so much force that he crashed against the closed kitchen door and hit his head
hard enough for another concussion. Blood dripped down his forehead and into
his left eyes, turning his vision into a blurred red.
“Jess, stop it!” Sam cried desperately and shoved himself forward, his voice
trembling even more now. Jess immediately turned her attention back at him, a
wicked grin appearing on her white face.
“You will come with me, Sam…” she said in a horrid and cranky voice and Sam
nodded weakly. “We will be together again… forever, Sam.”
Sam still cried when he reached behind him with hands that moved way too sudden
and clumsy to be controlled by himself and Lucifer witnessed in dread how his
fingers closed around a huge shard of the broken mirror and blood swelled
between his fingers. His face was a mask of sheer horror and despair, even when
he pressed his lips and eyes shut to muffle his sobbing Lucifer could see that
this was forced – that Jess was about to kill Sam with his own hands and he
would let it happen.
“Sam!”
Lucifer’s own voice was barely his own anymore, hoarse and completely
shattered, but when he cried out Sam’s name the boy turned around and looked
him one last time. The mirror shard was pressed against Sam’s soft skin below
his ear, tears streaming down his cheeks and his eyes shimmering dark from
sadness. There was already a drop of blood running down his neck and yet, Sam
smiled at him. It was the most beautiful and most heartbreaking scene Lucifer
had ever seen and no matter if he died now or would live for another hundred
years – it would haunt him forever whenever he closed his eyes.
“Sam…” he whispered again, using all his willpower to drag himself up from the
door and on his knees.
“Thank you, Lucifer…” he whispered the words with so much warmth and sadness
that Lucifer’s chest ached more than ever before. “I’m so sorry…”
After a second of silence Sam’s eyes fell shut and his expression softened – a
calm taking over the boy that was scaring the blond to the very core. He
couldn’t watch this, couldn’t watch Sam die and not being able to help. One
last time he looked at the ghost of this wonderful boy’s dead girlfriend and
realized that she was vanishing. She faded away with a smile on her face and a
devotion painted on her that was eerie. Sam groaned painfully and not even a
second later Lucifer’s stomach twisted as he heard the gasp coming from him and
he did the only thing his body was able to do – he ran.
Lucifer didn’t think, didn’t even realize Sam’s grandma shouted at him from
across the street or that he was still crying and sobbing and just left the one
he grew to love so much in such a short time behind to die. He just ran and ran
until his legs gave in and he collapsed on the ground in a city he didn’t know
and with his heart shattered and ripped out of his chest and without even a
little bit of hope.
***** Epilogue - Coming Home *****
Chapter Summary
     Four years have passed.
     Lucifer finished his book at last and is going to make one last trip.
     He's not going to come back this time, even if he isn't telling
     anyone. Without Sam, Lucifer lost his will to live...
“I’m glad you finally finished your book, Lucifer.” Naomi smiled at him over
her table, said book on the space between them. The black cover showed the
shard of a mirror, reflecting the face of an innocent looking and beautiful
young man with tears in his eyes. “’Alone I Break’ is by far your best book.
I’m still amazed at how much it shook me when I read the first draft.”
Lucifer nodded, but he didn’t smile back. While he had been cheerful and happy
before after finishing a book, he was now sad and melancholic. He was a changed
man, everyone could see that and yet he never told anyone what happened. His
time in New Orleans was a topic no one ever dared to touch and he didn’t plan
to change that in the future. The book was finished – a different one than he
had planned four years ago – and so was he. Lucifer was done.
“I’m glad I finished it too, Naomi.” he said calm, his voice not showing any
emotion whatsoever. “I’m going to take a few weeks off, you will take care of
the rest, right?”
“Of course, that’s my job.” she said and took the book again, running her
fingers over the envelope. “You’ll leave a deep impression with this, Lucifer.”
“It left a deep impression on me too.”
Lucifer got up, took the check Naomi gave him, shook her hand and then left the
building in silence.
Naomi didn’t know that the book was his last, she didn’t know that it took so
long to finish it because he was only able to get any words out when he was
completely blacked out. It was his last – his legacy in a way – and he wasn’t
even sad that this part of his life was over now. He wasn’t mad that his life,
for that matter, was over now. Maybe because it was over for four years
already.
Lucifer walked the way back home, grabbed his wallet and his personal copy of
the new book, along with the single ticket he had stuck into it and the keys on
the table, and left the house again. It was for the better, he knew it. There
was nothing that would hold him here anymore – the place he had called home for
so many years was now just an empty and cold thing, like he was himself. He
wasn’t sad closing the door behind him and didn’t look back when the taxi drove
off to the airport. It all didn’t matter anymore.
After he boarded his flight – not even bothering with any luggage whatsoever –
Lucifer opened the book and pretended to read, even if the words made no sense
to him anymore. He hadn’t read a word from the book after handing Naomi the
first draft to be honest, it wasn’t needed. Every single word was burned into
his mind with all the cruelty they formed and there was no way to forget
anything – and he tried a lot of things to forget. Alone I Break was the book
ending his career and even though everyone twould read it as fiction, Lucifer
knew the truth. It was all real.
When he left the New Orleans airport this time it was cold around him, the
middle of December apparently meant freezing for everyone. He took a taxi to
the address he would never forget, the place where all of this hell began and
where it would be ending soon. Ironically, the driver recognized him and asked
if he could get an autograph on the new book he had bought from him. Lucifer
did him the favor with a forced smile, not telling him that he possessed
something unique with this signed book – he wouldn’t sign any more of them. He
left a generous tip when they arrived and once he stepped out of the car he was
overwhelmed with a bittersweet melancholy.
He stood there for a long time, the first snowflakes of the year dancing around
him and cold wind pulling on his coat – just looking at the now visibly
abandoned house. The air was filled with an unusual silence and there weren’t
any passengers or cars, even though it was early evening in a lively city.
Lucifer felt watched, a little like he did when he arrived at the house for the
first time, and instinctively turned around to look at the house on the
opposite side of the street. The windows were still intact, but dark and
lifeless as the house Lucifer stood in front of. He fetched the keys out of his
pocket, keys he never gave back and that would probably not fit anymore
anyways, even though he would try.
To his surprise the door opened easily when he turned the key and he stepped
into the cold of the building. On the other side of the street, behind one of
the closed curtains, a dark figure moved and vanished, but Lucifer didn’t
notice any of that, nor did he realize that he had been watched from the second
he left the car. The blond slowly made his way through the corridor – feet
whirling up year old dust with every step – and waited for anything to happen.
The house, however, laid in complete silence. When he reached the living room
Lucifer stopped and his eyes moved over the strained carpet.
The windows had been repaired, the broken mirror was gone too, but the carpet
was still the same as four years ago and even though it had apparently been
cleaned there was still a dark spot left – a spot Lucifer knew was darkened by
the blood that had been shed there before. He walked over and got on his knees
right next to the spot, his fingers brushing over the knotted fabric and not
even trying to hold back the tears he had not been able to cry for so long.
Here, where Sam’s life had been taken away so mercilessly, Lucifer was able to
finally let go.
“I’m so sorry, Sam…” Lucifer whispered and clutched his hands into the carpet
he knelt on desperately. “I’m so sorry for leaving you.”
Outside the wind howled and blew snowflakes against the windows, a sound just
fitting for this dead stage Lucifer had stepped on and that would be the last
place he would see. He carelessly wiped the tears away and brought the book up,
placing it in front of him.
“I should have saved you, called an ambulance, anything except from what I did…
I just wanted to protect you, Sam, and I left you to die and to spend an
eternity with someone torturing your soul.”
Suddenly Lucifer’s head flew up at the sound of the front door opening,
followed by a gust of wind that caused Lucifer to shiver. He frowned, knowing
full well that he had closed the door completely, so this was something that
couldn’t have happened. Slowly he stood up, holding onto the doorframe to
support himself as he carefully peeked out of the living room.
Lucifer was sure his heart stopped when he saw the silhouette standing in the
open door, snow whirling around its feet and looking almost angelic with the
light shining on it from behind. He book he had grabbed again fell to the
ground and there was no air in his lungs anymore, no thought on his mind and
all the strength he had just seconds ago was drained from his body. Lucifer
sank to the ground, staring at the eerie and beautiful face that had been
haunting his dreams over the last years. When he spoke it was just a whisper, a
desperate and broken sound.
“Sam?”
 
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