Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/992242.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence,
      Underage
  Category:
      F/F, Multi
  Fandom:
      Twilight_Series_-_Stephenie_Meyer, Twilight_Series_-_All_Media_Types,
      Twilight_(Movies)
  Relationship:
      Alice_Cullen/Bella_Swan
  Character:
      Alice_Cullen, Bella_Swan, Other(s)
  Additional Tags:
      Supernatural_Elements, Dark
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-10-05 Completed: 2014-01-21 Chapters: 44/44 Words: 607997
****** Alice ******
by Seras_von_Raatko
Summary
     AU, AB, Dark. Bella is a lonely and depressed teenager who wants
     nothing more out of life than a girlfriend. Alice is a centuries old
     vampire who's cheerful personality hide a darker nature. Bella has
     been dreaming about her ever since she could remember having dreams,
     but when Alice shows up at school, is it a dream come true or a
     nightmare?
Notes
     Before you read this story I need to tell you some very important
     things. First off, that this story was not created by me, but by a
     author named xDreamlessx in fanfiction.net. The authors stories were
     purged and I managed to salvage this story. All credit for this story
     goes to xDreamlessx.
     WARNING: Although this story is really a piece of art and is really
     great I must warn you this has earned its Dark tag dutifully. This is
     not a story for everyone and some things may be disturbing so read at
     your own discretion, I can not emphasize this more. I am not tagging
     everything as to not spoil anything. This isn't even really my cup of
     tea, but I can not let this story be forgotten.
     Well here goes nothing.
***** Chapter 1 *****
~ Alice ~
 
—
 
Chapter 1:
 
—
 
I was having one of those dreams again.
 
About her. Always about her.
 
I was laying in bed at night and I was waiting, anticipation swirling in my
stomach like a cyclone. Laying on my side in the dark of my room, the covers
pulled up to my chin. Gazing anxiously at the half-open window in the opposite
wall where the lace curtains stirred in a gentle wind. On the other wall by the
desk there was a calendar featuring a picture of a group of water lilies
standing in a pond with pale purple petals. Excitement was throbbing in my
chest like a second heart and I was waiting desperately. For her.
 
I'd almost given up hope that she'd come when I heard a noise. She was climbing
the drainpipe outside my room with her supernatural agility and then her face
popped up in the corner of the window. Just her eyes. Her beautiful honey-
colored eyes. They were glowing in the dark and when they met mine they
crinkled slightly. As if she were smiling.
 
A surreal feeling washed over me. It felt so real. As if it was actually
happening. The window lifted, a soft grating sound in the silence. She climbed
into my room and closed the window behind her, tossing a saucy glance over her
shoulder where I lay in the bed, stunned and dreamy.
 
She was wearing an expensive black fleece coat with a belt that fit snuggly
around her waist. The collar of the coat was turned up around her neck and the
hem flowed about her bare legs. A vague feeling of trust and intimacy between
us. My girlfriend? She smiled and came forward with a certain coyness, bold and
bashful at the same time. Without words she undid the coat's belt and with a
sudden brazenness she looked into my face and opened the coat and let it drop
to the floor.
 
Underneath she wore nothing. She was completely naked.
 
The room seemed to reel as I watched her naked figure step free from the pool
of black fleece at her feet. Her gorgeous body glowed in the dark, pale and
ethereal, lithe and pixie-like, smiling, watching me watch. Her skin was pale
and silky, her breasts round and perfect, her legs long and pearly and achingly
smooth looking. She stood at my bedside and cocked her head cutely, maybe
expecting me to say something. My mouth had fallen open and I wanted to tell
her how beautiful she was and how much I wanted her and how much I loved her,
but my mind wasn't working right. I seemed to have forgotten how to talk. The
only word that occurred to me was her name and without realizing it I said it
out loud, a breathy whisper, half gasped and laced with longing:
 
"Alice…"
 
It made her smile. Her eyes flickered over my body as it was outlined under the
covers and with a impish little smirk she reached out with a tiny hand and ran
a feathery caress across the length of me, starting at my shoulder and dipping
into my waist and over the hill of my hips and across the length of my legs,
her touch leaving me tingling and shivering and silently desperate for more.
When she reached my foot she caressed my ankle gently and then she took a
handful of the covers in her fist and slowly pulled the them away.
 
Underneath the covers I was naked. Just like her.
 
A low growl sounded from her chest as my nakedness was revealed. She raked her
eyes over my body and I made no move to cover myself. All I did was lay there,
flushed and breathless under her glowing amber gaze, my breasts exposed, my
nipples stiffening instantly at both the cold and the hunger with which she
eyed them. My thighs were rubbing together self-consciously and the scent of my
excitement was making her reel. With a languid lick of her lips she looked down
at me and smiled an eager smile, eyes lidded, fangs poking her full bottom lip.
Like a drunk woman, she used the headboard for balance as she slipped off her
shoes one at a time, black pumps that clattered carelessly to the floor behind
her, and then she climbed into the bed.
 
I rolled onto my back to accommodate her and she straddled my hips, grinding
down against me in a quick little thrust, as if she couldn't help herself for a
second. She closed her eyes and tilted back her head and inhaled deeply. When
she opened them again they were glowing in her face like pools of fire. Her own
scent was in the air, a scent of lavender and loveliness. She touched my face
with her hands and brushed at my hair, gazing down at me with eyes as beautiful
and hot as fire, rapt, breathless, heaving with a lust that seemed go beyond
the physical, a hunger of the heart, a yearning of the soul. Smiling, she
leaned to my face but she didn't kiss me. Her lips brushed mine and she
whispered my name softly, softly against my lips:
 
"Bella…"
 
Then the alarm went off.
 
I woke with an outright moan of despair, flailing with my arms as if to grab
the dream back. Dizzy and disoriented, I raised up slightly and groaned at the
reality I found myself in. Monday morning. Yay.
 
Disappointed, I flopped face down into the pillow and immediately cringed in
disgust. I'd been drooling over my dream girl in my sleep and my cheek landed
right in the cold wet patch. I groaned again and wiped at my mouth with my
hands, rolling onto the other side, frowning at the obnoxious beeping of the
alarm. I wanted to turn it off but I was too messed up from the dream to
bother. All I could do was lay there, hot, sweaty, and throbbing all over.
 
Fuck, I thought, gasping for breath. That was so fucking hot.
 
My mouth was dry so I swallowed, once, twice, and after a while I managed to
calm my breathing into an embarrassing dog-like pant. I'd been having the exact
same dream for years but this one was by far the most intense I'd ever had. The
proof was in my panties, not quite a climax, but close, very close. If she'd
had another ten minutes I'd probably be changing the sheets instead of just my
shorts. Whew. That was amazing. If I could replay dreams like that whenever I
wanted I'd never need a google image search again.
 
Forcing myself to calm down, I heaved a shaky sigh. As usual there was a vague
smell of lavender in the air, the scent of the girl I'd dreamt about. I could
always smell it when I woke up from these dreams, as if she'd been sitting on
the edge of my bed while I slept and quickly left again when I woke. The scent
was fading but it was a beautiful smell. Beautiful like her.
 
I took a moment to visualize her in my mind, swallowing again, my mouth still
dry, and then I frowned at myself and told myself to get a hold of myself. It
was just a dream and I knew it was just a dream, but it had felt so real, so,
so… fucking perfect.
 
Ah, Alice. My dream girl. Alice and my subconscious have been dating for about
ten years now. The first dream I remembered of her was when I was five. The
exact same dream, nudity and all, which is pretty shocking when I think back on
it. I was older in the dream, though, probably about as old as I am now, which
was even more weird. How many five year olds know exactly what they're going to
look like in ten years time? Kind of creepy, really.
 
Meanwhile my alarm clock was still beeping like a bitch and I was finally awake
enough to be annoyed about it. I cracked a gluey eyelid to glare at it and then
I reached out and slapped the stupid thing off. Heaving another sigh, I settled
back onto the pillow—on the dry side—and I was almost asleep again when my
mother's voice rang out through the house from downstairs.
 
"Bell-laaaa!" she practically screeched. "Are you up yet!?"
 
I snapped out of my sleepiness and groaned into the pillow. "In a minute!"
 
The next thing I heard was mom's footsteps on the stairs. God, I hate Mondays.
And mom. And my life. In fact, I hate everything. I'm a teenager, sue me.
 
Mom's head popped through the door. "Bella," she chided in her mom voice.
"You've got school."
 
"In a minute," I mumbled.
 
"Right now, missy. Come on, up, up, up."
 
Drill master mom. She was clapping her hands at me as if I was a misbehaving
pet and I fended her away with one hand.
 
"I'll be down in a minute, just give me a minute."
 
She wasn't happy about it but she took my word for it. It took more like five
minutes, but eventually I did manage to struggle out of bed, yawning and
stretching, and then I gathered up some clothes for school and staggered down
the hall to the bathroom.
 
The dream was still fresh in my mind and I was having naughty thoughts before
I'd even shampooed, swaying under the warm water with an absent air, wondering
if I had time to rub one out before school. I wish I had better self-control
but I guess I didn't. The appropriate cliché would be to wash away the night's
dirty dreams with a cold shower, but an equally viable remedy for alleviating
sexual frustration is to simply fiddle yourself up while waiting for the
conditioner to work. It's more fun and it lasts longer. Life's too depressing
for cold showers, anyway.
 
After my shower I went back to my room because I forgot to mark my calendar. I
know it's pretty stupid to keep an calendar on my wall when I've got one on my
phone, computer, and PS3, but I'd been doing it for years. Truthfully, the only
reason I kept a calendar was because I always saw one in my dreams. I don't
know why. It's weird, but I felt I like I was supposed to have one.
 
Yesterday was the last of the month and as I flipped the new month over a I got
a shock. It was a floral themed calendar that my mom had bought me, and the
picture for this month was water lilies, just like…the dream. I stood for a
while staring at it.
 
Well, I thought, standing there with the marker pen in my hand. That's kind of
crazy.
 
Deciding not to dwell, I quickly marked the first of the month and decided to
forget about it. There's probably millions of calendars with water lilies and
mom was gonna be pissed if I don't hurry.
 
By the time I came downstairs I was dressed and my dark hair was tied back in a
plain ponytail. My carefully selected outfit for today consisted of drab olive
pants and a crappy brown sweater. Appearances are important in high school so I
always made sure to dress in a way that expressed both my dour personality and
lack of money. That way I won't get bullied so much. *Sarcasm.*
 
"Morning, honey," mom announced cheerfully as I made my bleary appearance in
the kitchen. "I fixed you some cereal."
 
I examined the bowl of cold goop on the table. "It's soggy."
 
"Well, you should've been quicker in the shower. What took you so long,
anyway?"
 
I blushed, remembering the exact cause of the delay. "I was waiting for the
conditioner to work," I mumbled, sitting down to eat.
 
Mom was washing her breakfast dishes and now she dried her hands with a
dishtowel.
 
"You know, if you care about your hair so much, why don't you wear it down? You
have such beautiful hair. I wish I had hair like yours when I was your age."
 
She had a point, but I wasn't going to admit it. My hair was pretty good—long
dark locks with a natural waviness—and my face was kind of okay too I
guess—good skin, pouty lips—and even my body was alright. There was nothing
wrong with the picture, it was the presentation that was the problem. My
wardrobe was nonexistent, my popularity was in tatters, and I refused to wear
makeup because I'd only get teased for it. Why even bother trying to look good?
 
Mom had come over and was petting my hair sympathetically, as if she felt sorry
that such beautiful hair happened to grow on the head of someone that didn't
really appreciate it. I shrugged her away awkwardly.
 
"I like it in a ponytail, mom," I told her. "It keeps it out my face."
 
Mom sighed. "If you say so, sweetie." Then she bent and kissed my cheek
quickly. "I better get going or I'm gonna be late. You be good at school,
okay?"
 
Tell that to everyone else, I thought bitterly. "I will, mom."
 
I watched her as she swept through the kitchen, snatching up her purse, her
cell phone, her car keys, a health bar from the fridge. We were so different,
me and mom. In a way she was more of a teenager than I was, she even dressed
like it. Her bushy brown hair was tied back in a loud pink scrunchie and she
wore jeans and women's sneakers with pink stripes. She kept trying to force
colorful clothes on me, but I never let her. My lack of style was too well-
established at school to change now, I'd only get laughed at.
 
When she finally had everything, she smiled at me, blew a kiss, and disappeared
out the door, leaving me alone with my cereal. I sighed and lifted a spoonful.
I tipped the spoon and let the congealed mess slop back into the bowl.
 
"My life sucks," I told my breakfast.
 
By eight o'clock I was out the door and on the streets. A cold and gloomy
morning. I had my license but no car yet. Mom sometimes let me borrow hers, but
I didn't have the money for my own. I didn't have many places to go, but I do
like to drive.
 
For now, however, I was forced to clump along the sidewalk in my boots, looking
up at the sky for some hope of sun and not finding any. Just gray clouds. I
sighed. Another beautiful day in the lovely township of Forks. Where the sun
doesn't shine and the most exciting thing you can hope to happen to you is the
flu.
 
As I walked I let my mind drift back to the dream I'd woken up from. In the
hard light of morning, it actually seemed a little silly. All that staring and
speechlessness. I never knew my sex drive was so melodramatic.
 
I smiled to myself, trudging along. How long have I been having these dreams,
anyway? Honestly, I didn't even remember. Since I was five, at least. Maybe
even before then. I never knew how weird that was at the time, but I was
starting to understand now. It wasn't normal to dream about the same thing over
and over, especially something that didn't exist. If it was a girl I knew or a
friend or even a celebrity, maybe that would make sense, like an obsession or
something. But Alice was totally unreal. She was a figment of my imagination.
And, even worse, I didn't even create her. I didn't think her up or imagine
her. She was just there. Always there, all my life, in the back of my mind.
Alice. Pretty and perfect, smiling her perfectly pretty smile. Sigh.
 
Maybe I should be more concerned that I might be losing my mind, but for some
reason I was pretty casual about it. The dreams didn't seem to have any
negative impact on my life—aside from a mild case of carpal tunnel that
developed post-puberty—so I tried not to worry about it.
 
I don't know, maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something with these
dreams. Something about my orientation? Maybe, but I doubt it. I never needed
dreams to know I was into girls. It was pretty obvious when I started peeking
at my friends in the locker room. Just for comparison, I used to tell myself.
Yeah right. Even if I hadn't been sure I was gay, my friends were pretty quick
to point it out as soon as they started catching me looking. They used a
different word, though. Girls are cruel.
 
Anyway, maybe the dreams weren't really about sex. Maybe they were more about,
well, love. Or longing. As silly as that sounds. Every time I had the dream, it
was painful to wake up, because I knew she didn't exist. Part of me was
actually in love with the chick. How messed up is that?
 
On the other hand, the dream also had a pretty sinister aspect. The chick was a
vampire, after all, fangs and everything. I'd never dreamed past the part where
she whispers my name, but I could imagine the rest and I didn't like my chances
of surviving the night. But strangely, that didn't seem so alarming. It was
just a dream, after all, and I knew she'd do it gently. In the dream, I even
seemed to want it. Makes you wonder. Maybe my subconscious is trying to warn me
that I'm suicidal? Hmm. That actually might make sense. My life does totally
suck. I doubt I'd complain too much if a gorgeous young vampiress wanted to
make a snack out of me. As long as she bought me dinner and took me to a movie
first. I wouldn't put out without a date. A girl's gotta have standards, after
all.
 
But nah, I'm probably being to literal. The dream was probably just about my
preferences in general. Maybe this girl, Alice, was simply my subconscious's
idea of the perfect girl, and maybe the dreams were my subconscious's way of
showing me what she looked like, so that I'd know when I met her. That made
sense, I guess. Kind of romantic too. Maybe one day I actually would meet a
girl who looked like her. And she'd be sweet and friendly. And she'd really
like me. That would be cool.
 
I sighed, lost in my own little dream world. I'd been spending too much time
analyzing the dream lately but I couldn't seem to stop. It was the only thing I
really liked to think about.
 
When I reached the school I swung into the parking lot so I could try and meet
up with my "friends," if you could call them that. I use the term loosely.
They'd probably never admit that they were friends with someone like me—in
fact, they'd deny it very loudly—but they let me hang around them like a
pathetic lost dog, so I guess "friends" was the simplest thing to call them.
 
That morning I was just in time to catch Lauren and the others as they were
headed up the small flight of steps that led into the main building. Most of
them were blonde and they were all dressed trendy and colorful. They were the
popular girls of Forks High, two of them cheerleaders, three on the student
council. It was kind of a minor miracle that they let me hang around them, and
I'm ashamed to admit that in my weaker moments I almost felt grateful.
 
"Hey, guys!" I called, starting to jog. "Wait up!"
 
They paused on the steps and looked back. When they saw it was me they rolled
their eyes and gave elaborate sighs of impatience. I picked up the pace,
worried that they might go on without me, and as I ran I happened to look up at
one of the second floor windows. There was no reason, I just happened to look
up. And what I saw stopped my heart.
 
There was a girl up there, standing at the glass. Small, dark hair, pretty.
Even at this distance I recognized her instantly. It was her:
 
The girl in my dreams.
 
Alice.
 
I was so shocked that I tripped. My ankle rolled and my legs gave way. With a
sharp squeal I fell into the pavement and tumbled into a groaning heap at the
base of the stairs where my so-called friends stood around with their backpacks
and their blonde hair and laughed at me meanly.
 
I barely heard them. Still on my knees, I looked up and tried to locate the
same window, but I couldn't be sure which one I'd been looking at. I swept the
second floor with wide-eyes but there was nothing. Some figures were passing in
the corridors but there was no girl. No Alice.
 
Well, gee. Maybe I am going crazy after all.
 
Meanwhile my friends were still laughing at me, all but Angela. She wasn't as
mean as the others. Lauren had an annoying high pitched giggle and she seemed
to have decided that she just couldn't let the moment pass without making fun
of me.
 
"What's the matter, Bella?" she sneered. "A little disorientated?"
 
This made the girl's snicker all over again. I picked myself up and dusted
myself off, my ankle and most of my right leg throbbing with pain. My wrist was
killing me too, which was a shame because Lauren really did deserve a round of
applause for such a clever joke. Or at least a stiff slap.
 
I glared at her. "Yeah, real clever," I muttered, rubbing my wrist. "I'm fine,
by the way."
 
"Aw, poor Bella," Lauren said with fake sympathy. "Want me to kiss it better? I
know you've got some secret crush on me."
 
"Eww!" the other girls cried.
 
I blushed darkly. "Fuck you, Lauren."
 
Lauren snorted and tossed her perfect blonde hair. "Yeah right," she said
flippantly. "In your dreams, dyke."
 
And with that, they laughed and turned and strutted into the building. I
trailed after them shamefully, leaving my self-respect on the ground behind me.
They immediately started talking about something I had no interest in and as I
trudged along behind I brooded silently about how much I hate Lauren. In my
dreams? Fuck you. My dreams have higher standards than that.
 
Speaking of which, who was that girl in the window? She looked so much like…
 
But I shook my head and forced the thought away. It was too stupid to even
think about.
 
—
 
Classes came and went, each more boring than the last. I had friends in most of
them, but they didn't really talk to me. I don't have much in common with most
of my peers and most of my peers are total trolls. I simply positioned myself
nearby, part of the group, but still an outsider, venturing a comment every now
and then, or laughing at jokes when it was safe to do so without becoming the
butt of the next one. And mom wonders why I hate school.
 
Soon it was lunch time. I stood alone in the line and then I shuffled meekly
over to Lauren's table with my tray and that familiar feeling of anxiety in my
stomach. One of my biggest fears in life was that one day they wouldn't let me
sit with them. I had nowhere else to go. How pathetic is that?
 
They were deep in giggly conversation when I approached, talking about boys or
dates or expensive clothes that were on sale somewhere. I approached with my
head bowed and sat down quietly. Some of them glanced at me disdainfully but no
one told me outright to go kill myself. They went on talking and I paid polite
attention but I wasn't really listening. After a while I dropped my eyes to my
tray and focused on gnawing at my sandwich. My mind was drifting back to last
night's dream and I let it replay in my head as the rest of the world drained
away, Alice, Alice and her smile, naked, beautiful, the love in her eyes…
 
"Who the fuck are they?"
 
It was Lauren's voice and she seemed screechier than usual. I looked up. Lauren
was looking across the cafeteria at where a certain group had just entered and
everyone else was looking too. I followed their gaze and…
 
My heart stopped.
 
The world stopped.
 
Oh. My. God.
 
It was Alice. I wasn't sure if it was the same girl I saw in the window but it
didn't matter. It was Alice. It was exactly her. The same pretty face, the same
pale skin, the same pixie black hair. She was wearing tight hipster jeans and a
black suede designer jacket. She was with four other girls but she was only one
I was looking at. Alice. My dream girl.
 
Her eyes were sweeping the cafeteria and when she saw me she stopped walking.
They were the same honey-colored eyes I'd seen in a thousand dreams, the same
long lashes, the same depthless warmth. So beautiful. She watched me for a
second and then she smiled impishly, a foxy quirk of her lips. As if there was
some secret between us, something we knew that no one else did. She dipped her
eyes, almost bashfully, and then she glanced at me once more and walked on.
 
My heart was slamming under my sweater and suddenly I felt weak all over.
 
What the fuck? Am I dreaming right now?
 
It felt like I was going into shock. I sat there, rigid in my seat, and watched
her go by, moving with grace in her heeled boots, that same small body I'd seen
naked so many times, those perfect legs, those perky breasts. I could see the
shapes of them under her clothes and I was blushing so hard I was almost
passing out.
 
And I wasn't the only one staring. The whole cafeteria was half-stunned at the
entrance of these indescribable beauties, and as everyone stared, these five
goddesses passed through and took an empty table in the corner, pointedly
ignoring all glances. Only when they were all seated did conversation
resume—with a whole new topic.
 
"Bella," Lauren said, glaring at me. "You're drooling. It's disgusting."
 
I was twisted around in my chair to watch them but Lauren's voice snapped me
out of it. I turned back to the table and wiped at my mouth absently but I was
confused that there was no moisture. Lauren's face twisted in disgust.
 
"Oh, jeez, I was only joking," she said. "What the hell's wrong with you?
Haven't you ever seen a chick before?"
 
That's the problem. I have seen her before. In my fucking dreams.
 
Feeling sick and feverish, I struggled to get myself under control. The urge to
look over my shoulder was almost overwhelming but I managed to clamp it down
and whisper a timid question:
 
"Who are they?"
 
"Beat's me," Lauren said, gazing past me in the new the group's direction with
affected disinterest. "They must be the transfer's everyone was talking about.
I think two of them are seniors."
 
"I think they're name's Cullen," Angela piped up. The table's attention swung
to her. "My mom works at the hospital and she said there's this new doctor
there, Dr Cullen, and he's got a bunch of adopted daughters or something.
They're all supposed to be starting school today. My mom said he's, like,
super-cute."
 
Lauren snorted. "Your mom's a freak."
 
"She'd think anybody's hot," Jessica chimed in.
 
"Even Bella," Lauren added with a snicker.
 
Angela was embarrassed. "No she wouldn't!" she blurted, but then she turned to
me apologetically. "I mean, no offence."
 
I wasn't even listening. I was twisted around in my chair again and I was
staring at the table where the girl of my dreams was sitting with her four
gorgeous friends, all of them female. There was a tall blonde, a short blonde,
a sexy redhead, and a native American brunette. None of them had a lunch tray,
none of them were eating, and none of them were as pretty as Alice. Alice was
something else.
 
She was looking at me but her expression was probably a lot more elegant than
mine. I was open mouthed and bug-eyed, staring like I'd seen a ghost. Or a
vampire. Her face by comparison was relatively calm, a soft smile about her
lips, her eyes moving slightly as they flickered over my features.
 
"Bella!" Lauren barked.
 
I jumped in surprise and turned around. "Hm?"
 
Lauren glared at me as if it was her I'd been ogling. "Stop staring," she said
with a tone of disgust. "Seriously. It's sexual harassment."
 
I was too frazzled to be offended or insulted, I just nodded and stared down at
my tray, my appetite vanished. If I had any use of my brain cells I might've
been surprised that Lauren even knew the definition of sexual harassment. It
had never stopped her from tormenting me.
 
The rest of lunch period passed in a vague trance of anxiety. It took a while
to work up the courage to sneak another glance, but when I did they were gone,
as if they'd never been there. I pinched my leg under the table hard enough to
cause a bruise, but I still wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not.
 
Biology was my next class. I sat at a bench by the window, staring out at the
gray school yard under the sunless overcast. My stomach was still turning and
my mind was dwelling on that smile she'd flashed me as she passed through the
cafeteria. It was almost as if she recognized me. But that was ridiculous. It
was possible that she was some chick who resembled some girl I'd been having
recurring dreams about, but it was flat out impossible that they were the same
girl. No matter how familiar she seemed.
 
How could I even recognize her anyway? Dreams are never clear. There's always a
haze, an uncertainty. You never actually see anything, you just feel it.
 
But this morning, it was so intense, so real. As if she was actually there…
 
"Miss Swan?"
 
The teacher's voice. I looked toward the front of the class and my mouth
dropped open for the third time that day.
 
Standing beside the science teacher was the literal girl of my dreams. She
stood with her books at her hip, small, demure, pretty in her expensive
clothes. Watching me with that same soft smile.
 
"Miss Cullen here needs a labpartner," the teacher was saying. "Think you can
catch her up on what we've been doing for the last couple weeks?"
 
They were looking at me and I realized I was supposed to say something.
Labpartner? I struggled to wrap my mind around the concept and finally I
blurted:
 
"Um, sure."
 
My voice came out in highpitched squeak. Angela and Jessica were labpartners at
a nearby bench, and as I glanced around to see how badly I embarrassed myself,
I saw them give me odd glances and then lean together to whisper about it.
Great. Another thing to be teased about.
 
I looked back toward the front of the class to where the teacher was saying
something to Alice—or whatever her name was. Miss Cullen, the teacher had said.
Miss What Cullen?
 
She tore her eyes from me to reply politely to the teacher, and she seemed to
smile with her whole body, even dipping a little bob, almost like a curtsy. The
teacher motioned toward the bench where I was sitting and she turned to me and
her smile widened and then she started down the aisle.
 
Panic rose in my throat as I watched her approach, but it wasn't fear. If I was
afraid of anything it was that I might be going crazy. But how could I be? I
was awake and I wasn't seeing things. Everyone else could see her too. She had
to be real. The male half of the class room seemed particularly aware of her
shapely corporality.
 
She laid her books on the bench and daintily slipped onto the stool beside me.
As she did I caught a waft of her perfume and almost fainted.
 
It was the same scent that I could smell sometimes when I woke from my dreams.
 
Lavender and warmth and something else, something supernatural, a scent so
intoxicating that it couldn't possibly exist in a chemical form like a perfume.
This was the scent of a dream, something unreal and beyond imagination.
 
I was staring down into the tabletop, not daring to look up, and my breathing
had gone shallow. It felt like I was quietly hyperventilating, afraid to
breathe in too deeply. The scent was so wonderful it felt dangerous, wafting
over me in a blissful cloud of lavender that left me blushing and teary eyed. I
swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to work up the courage to glance at
her. I had enough intelligence left in my addled brain to realize that I
couldn't just sit here and freak out, I had classwork to do, and a new
labpartner to catch up. I had to do something.
 
I turned to her, mouth open to say something—I had no idea what—but the words
died in my mouth. She'd turned at the exact same moment and our eyes met.
 
They were so huge and beautiful, the lashes so long. They literally stunned me.
I'd seen them so many times in dreams, but seeing them here, in real-life, at
school, was so surreal that it stopped my mind. All thought failed me and all I
could do was stare.
 
For second she seemed stunned too. A high blush was in her cheeks—a gorgeous
rosy contrast to her porcelain skin—but she recovered quick. She dropped her
eyes, smiled, and lifted them again.
 
"Hi," she said in a breathy whisper that I'd heard a hundred times before. "I'm
Alice."
 
The name almost didn't make an impact on me. It felt like I'd already known she
was Alice, had known it all the time, never doubted it. This was Alice. This
was the girl of my dreams.
 
"I'm Bella," I replied vaguely.
 
The sound of my voice caused her to sigh slightly, as if in relief. "Bella,"
she repeated, tasting the name. Her eyes were hooded and beginning to glow. She
licked her lips, glossy lips, pink and full, and I noticed her fangs with no
surprise at all. No surprise, no fear. Just a vague sense of completion. As if
I'd been waiting all my life for this moment. As if I'd been born for nothing
else. She leveled her glowing eyes at me, extended a hand, and said: "It's nice
to finally meet you."
 
I looked at her hand dreamily. It was small and fine boned, so dainty, so
pretty. So familiar. Just by looking at it I could remember how it had felt in
my dreams, brushing my hair, caressing my face. I was hypnotized, swaying
slightly like a lilystem in a strong wind. I was having difficulty sitting on
the stool. It felt like I was going to fall off. There was no sound at all in
my ears, all I could hear was the thud of my heart. It occurred to me that I
was going to wake up in a minute, had to. None of this was actually happening.
It was impossible. I was still asleep, still dreaming. I had to be.
 
I flickered my eyes to hers, convinced that none of this could possibly be
real, and then I reached out and took her hand.
 
I didn't wake up. I gasped. The touch was brief, barely half a second, but it
was enough. A shock of sheer oh-my-god shot into my core at the contact and a
sound like a sob escaped me as I leapt to my feet in alarm, jerking my hand
away. The stool tipped and crashed onto the floor. She sat there with her hand
still extended, watching me worriedly, and half the class was looking over at
the noise.
 
"I'm sorry," I gasped. "I'm sorry, I…"
 
Tears choked my voice and without thinking I ran. I ran passed her and down the
aisle, wiping at my eyes, everyone watching, some grinning at my embarrassment.
The teacher called out behind me.
 
"Miss Swan, where do you think you're—"
 
But I burst through the door and out into the hallway, sobbing with confusion
and already missing her touch, her voice, her smile.
 
—
 
I went straight home, skipping final period. I'd left my backpack in my locker
and my books on the bench, and I didn't care. I was so messed up I couldn't
even think straight. I couldn't think at all.
 
It started raining half way home but I barely noticed. I went on with the rain
soaking my hair and my clothes, slogging along the sidewalk. I was trying to
figure out if I was dreaming or not, even though it was pretty obvious that I
wasn't. The rain was very cold and very real. By the time I got home my teeth
were chattering and I was still wondering if it was all just a dream.
 
I went directly upstairs and took a hot shower, peeling out of my soaked
clothes and tossing them into the hamper. I don't know how long I was in the
shower, but it was a long time. The bathroom filled with steam and I was still
there, my skin turning pink, frowning under the warm cascade of water. But if I
wasn't dreaming, what was happening? Was I actually going crazy? Did I imagine
the whole day up till now? Will I go to school tomorrow and they'll be no new
students, no Alice? Is a delusion like that even possible?
 
I almost jumped out of my skin when someone banged on the bathroom door.
 
"Bella!" my mom called over the noise of the shower. "Are you in there?"
 
"Um, yeah!" I called back. "I'll be out in a second!"
 
I turned the taps off frantically, already rinsed off. How long had I been in
there? If mom was home, it must've been an hour at least. Jeez. Time flys when
your losing your mind, doesn't it?
 
I got changed in my room, sweat pants, tanktop, and a nightrobe to keep me
warm. It was five o'clock and I wasn't going anywhere for the rest of the day
so I might as well be comfortable while I go insane. Crazy people in asylums
wear nightrobes, don't they? Hm. I guess I'm halfway there already. All I need
is a pair of slippers and I'd really look the part.
 
I found mom downstairs, in the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge for a
snack. When she saw me she swung shut the fridge door and approached me with
concern.
 
"The school called," she said. "They said you left out in the middle of the
day?"
 
Damn, I should've prepared something for this. Forks High was a small school
and it was tough to get away with anything. The lies came easily, though. "It's
was just last period," I told her. "I wasn't feeling good. My head was…"
 
I gestured with my hand and she seemed to understand. She nodded
sympathetically and petted my head.
 
"My poor baby," she pouted. "How are you feeling now? Did you have a lie down?"
 
I nodded, and strangely I did feel a little better. With a bit of distance
between me and whatever happened at school, I was starting to regain some
control over my mind. I had no definite conclusions about anything, but I was
starting to realize that there had to be some rational explanation out there
somewhere. I just hadn't figured it out yet.
 
"Are you sure?" mom asked anxiously. "You're so pale." She touched my forehead
like an old fashioned nurse. "And you're warm, I think you might have a fever.
Let me get the thermometer."
 
I almost laughed. "I'm fine, mom, really. It was just a headache. I just needed
to relax a little."
 
She didn't look satisfied but she let it go. "Well, okay. Do you need some
aspirin?"
 
I sighed. I probably did have a fever and my head was still pounding, but I
didn't think aspirin was going to fix me. The only thing I seemed to want
was…Alice.
 
It took a while to convince mom that I wasn't dying from my headache, but
eventually she believed me. I got started on dinner and after mom got changed
she came down to help me, chopping vegetables, making a mess, yapping nonstop
about her day. I nodded and murmured comments whenever it was appropriate but I
was mostly on autopilot. Who could blame me? Between the drone of my mom's
voice and the distraction of analyzing my day at school for signs of insanity,
it was a miracle I was even coherent.
 
I didn't have much appetite when we sat down to eat but I forced it down anyway
so mom wouldn't worry. We did the dishes together even though I usually did
them myself, and then mom went into the livingroom to watch TV. She was working
through a boxset of NCIS DVD's that I'd gotten her for Mother's Day—she had a
crush on Gibbs that was almost sad—and while she watched I settled onto the
other couch and curled up with a blanket and a book.
 
I tried to read but I couldn't concentrate. My eyes kept drifting off the page.
I tried looking at the TV but my eyes kept drifting from there too and
eventually I just settled on staring at some random spot on the carpet as my
mind wandered. The one thing that kept coming back to me was her face. I kept
comparing it to what I remembered from my dreams but the more I remembered the
more I was unsure. Was it possible I was seeing what I wanted to see?
 
It's nice to finally meet you.
 
Had she really said that? Did she use the word finally? Or am I misremembering,
remembering only what I wanted to remember? Had my subconscious really slipped
so far? Was that dream last night so intense that something snapped inside me
and now I couldn't live without her, even if I had to create her out of thin
air?
 
And those fangs. Those glowing eyes. Did my subconscious really expect me to
believe that my new labpartner was a vampire? It was almost too ridiculous to
even think about. She's no vampire. I was just seeing things. Her name probably
isn't even Alice, it was probably just what my mind wanted to hear. I just hope
I can stop this thing before I really start to believe it. I'd hate to end up
stalking the poor girl, shadowing her from school and back with a fantasy and a
fillet knife. I've always hated stalker villains. You see them a lot in
Smallville. Or you used to. It's not even on TV any more. The last few seasons
sucked, anyway. Chloe was cute, though.
 
"Bella, are you sure you're okay?" mom asked suddenly. "You don't look so
good."
 
I smiled. If I'd distracted her from Gibbs I really must look like shit. I
closed my book and stood up, folding my blanket over my arm. "Yeah, I'm okay. I
think I'm gonna go to bed."
 
"Well, okay," she said, still worried. "Sleep well, sweetie."
 
"I will." I bent and kissed her cheek. "Night, mom."
 
Up in my room, I turned on the light, and the first thing I saw was the
calendar on the wall. The lilies, the date. It was the same as the dream, which
meant…what? Tonight's the night my dream comes true? Is that why I've been
keeping a calendar all these years, so I'd know when? So I'd be prepared?
 
With a feeling that wasn't quite fear, I looked at the window. It was there in
the wall, not doing anything. Outside nothing but darkness. I stood there in
the doorway, remembering the dream, how Alice had come through the window and
climbed into my bed. How the window had been partly open.
 
Just out of curiosity, I went to the window and looked it over. It was an old
fashioned window with a latch, and it had been locked since forever. I couldn't
remember ever opening it, but in the dream it was open. Open from the inside,
as if I'd been expecting her. As if I'd been inviting her.
 
I stood there thinking about that. Then I unlatched the window and opened it
about halfway.
 
A cold wind licked over my body and I shivered. I stepped back and regarded the
rustling drapes, feeling incredibly stupid. I thought I was going to try stop
going crazy? Why am I encouraging it?
 
I don't know, but if my budding insanity could provide a new labpartner, maybe
it could provide some hot sex too. What do I have to lose? Other than my mind,
of course.
 
I turned to my bed and remembered the other part of the dream. I'd been naked
under the covers, hadn't I? I blushed and hesitated, I shook my head. I glanced
at the window and back at the bed.
 
"Ah, fuck it," I muttered, pulling off my top. "This is so stupid. I am so
stupid…"
 
I dropped my sweatpants and pulled off my socks, shaking my head and feeling
supremely idiotic. I took off my bra and pulled off my underwear, tossing it
all in a pile in the corner, and then I flipped off the light, still shaking my
head, and climbed into the bed, slipping between the cool sheets and shivering
at the coldness against my naked body.
 
And what the hell was I expecting exactly? That an ultra sexy vampire chick was
going to climb through my window and possibly feast on my blood tonight? A
window that I'd deliberately left open for her? I'm not sure how a person
qualifies for crazy, but either way, I was pretty sure that I should be locked
up for my own safety. I've obviously become a hazard to myself.
 
For a long time, I lay there in almost total darkness, watching the window. I
could make out the outline of it by palest starlight, and I was frowning,
breathing deeply and evenly. The rational scraps of my mind were pretty
insistent that nothing was going to happen, but I wouldn't listen. I had to
see. I had to know.
 
My heart was pounding in my chest and I was acutely aware of my nakedness under
the covers. I wasn't shivering anymore but I still felt very weird. My hand was
resting on my hip and almost without realizing it I was caressing myself idly.
I was freshly showered and my body felt clean and soft and strangely sexy. I
rubbed my legs together, curious at the smoothness between them. How long had I
been waiting already? It was almost an hour by my alarm clock and nothing had
occurred in the window but the rustling of the curtains. Something stirred in
my stomach and my brow puckered as I realized it was disappointment. Maybe that
was the craziest thing yet.
 
My eyelids were getting heavy, but I wasn't tired. The open window was letting
the cold night air in and I wasn't used to sleeping without clothes. I waited a
little more, staring sadly at the window, and then I decided to give up. I felt
like a compete dickhead, and I was about to fling the covers off so I could get
dressed when I heard something. Something outside. I froze, listening. It was a
metallic groaning sound.
 
As if someone was climbing the drainpipe.
 
Just the wind, I thought vaguely. Just the wind…
 
But it wasn't. Alice's eyes appeared in the corner of the window, just like the
dream, and just like the dream, they smiled when they saw me, glowing a warm
amber in the dark and crinkled slightly like the eyes of a dark little nymph
out there in the night.
 
A cold wave of unreality washed over me. It felt more like a dream than the
dream itself. My breathing instantly started to heave and she was already
climbing inside, dressed in the same black fleece coat underwhich I knew she'd
be naked, so beautifully naked. She shut the window, silencing the subtle
whisper of the wind, and then she turned to me. If she was waiting to see if
I'd scream or run away I was going to have to disappoint her. I was stunned
into stupidity and all I did was stare.
 
She came forward slowly, her pale hands untying the belt around her waist.
Watching me, she opened the coat and let it fall behind her, and like the dream
she was entirely naked underneath. It was dark in the room but her skin glowed
ethereally like a ghost or an angel. I raked my eyes over her impossibly
perfect body and suddenly I didn't care if I was going insane anymore, I truly
didn't. She was just too hot. My eyes were dwelling on the pale mounds of her
breasts and if sanity was the price I had to pay to nail this chick, so be it.
I wanted her too bad to care.
 
Like in the dream, she strolled over to my bedside and paused, waiting for some
kind of prompt from me, a word of permission, a gesture of consent. And like
the dream, the only thing at came to me was her name, her lovely name, that
name that had been engraved in my soul since childhood.
 
"Alice…"
 
She smiled in relief, the smile turned impish. I knew what was coming next and
my pussy moistened instantly. I watched her hand as she reached out to touch
me, trailing her fingers over my shoulder and into the dip of my waist and over
my hip. The contact was dimmed by the covers but it drove me wild nonetheless,
my skin tingling all over. Her hand closed over a fistful of the covers and
slowly she began to pull them away, the hem of the quilt dragging over my
breasts, my tummy, my legs, leaving me all exposed under her hot honey-colored
eyes.
 
My body went rigid and I felt my nipples hardening. I'd never been so
incredibly excited in my life. No one had ever seen me naked before—well,
outside the locker room—and I was paralyzed by how her eyes raked me over, me,
Bella Swan. My thighs rubbed together and I gazed up at her with as much
boldness as I could muster, which probably wasn't much. She licked her lips,
smiling down at me with her hooded eyes. She leaned on the headboard and
slipped off her shoes, one at a time like in the dream, and then she climbed
into the bed.
 
A sweet euphoria passed over me as I rolled onto my back and felt her warm
thighs straddle my hips. She made a quick little thrust against me and my heart
almost burst with anticipation. Laying there on my back, I stared up at her,
flushed and feverish, as she tilted back her head and inhaled. Her lavender
scent washed over me in a rolling wave of want, gazing up at this goddess that
was perched on top of me, breathless, desperate. She touched my face and I
turned my face into the touch, my cheeks burning under her hands. She leaned to
me, the tips of her breasts just barely grazing mine, and her lips hummed
against my own as she breathed her voice into my mouth, like a spirit passing
into me.
 
"Bella…"
 
It was the sound of her voice that broke me. This had been where the dream
ended, but there was no waking this time, or maybe a different kind of waking.
The closeness of her, the warmth of her, the sheer presence of this girl of my
dreams triggered something inside me. The attraction I felt for her was utterly
irresistible and at the sound of her voice, breathed to sexily into my mouth,
the impulse took me over completely; I gave a choked gasp and grabbed a handful
of her hair and wrenched her around and smashed my mouth against hers in a
violent kiss that parted her petal-pink lips and made her squeak with surprise.
 
My tongue plunged into her mouth and she accepted it eagerly for a moment
before fighting back, our naked bodies mashed together, her hands stroking my
back as she moaned under my kiss. The inside of her mouth was warm and
wonderful and it felt like I could kiss her forever. Her tongue was pushing at
mine and with a moan I let it into my mouth, sucking on it, trying to tongue
her back.
 
Our legs were tangled and suddenly I felt her silky wetness against my thigh.
She bucked up against my leg, arching her body into mine, our breasts pressing
together.
 
My own pussy was throbbing like mad, but it all seemed irrelevant compared to
the sudden hunger that had overtaken me, the absolute need I felt for this
girl. It was driving me crazy how much I wanted her, her body, her silky soft
smoothness, I wanted it all, in my mouth and under my hands, pressed up against
me, grinding, rubbing, forever and ever.
 
I'd never had sex before—never even been kissed—but at this point I don't think
technique would've mattered so much. I broke the kiss, gasping, flinging my
hair back. She gazed up at me, heaving, but I didn't even look at her. I
shuffled lower on the bed until I was between her legs. They were already open
but she opened them wider. I knelt at her glistening pussy, my stomach
contracting with hunger, and then I swooped down and shoved my tongue inside as
far as it would go.
 
Dimly, I heard a sharp cry escape her, but I couldn't really hear. My senses
were flooded with her indescribable scent and taste, a hot delirium of lust
washing over me as I licked up her essence, my tongue curling inside her and
making her writhe on the sheets, her legs curling up, a hand clenched in my
hair. I licked her as deep as I could and then I licked deeper. The heat was
indescribable, and I was moaning with how badly I hungered for her.
 
My technique was probably pretty pathetic—I hadn't touched her nipples or her
clit—but the raw passion seemed to be enough. She came with a strangled moan,
her hands clenching in my hair. Her climax flooded my mouth in hot waves of
deliciousness, and as I lapped it up, I could feel my hunger dissipate
slightly. Not enough to stop, but enough to slow down and savor her, retracting
my tongue and glancing at her beautiful pussy with lidded eyes before kissing
it gently, once, twice, inserting my tongue again and taking it out, licking
across her wet folds, another kiss.
 
Until she fluttered to life and pulled me up by my hair, me coming willing. She
pulled me into a kiss, tasting herself on my lips, and stroked my back
lovingly. My lust had progressed into a kind of numbness and honestly I didn't
think I'd care if she didn't do me at all. I honestly didn't.
 
But she did.
 
Gently she pushed me onto my back and her lips descended on my chest, her hands
cupping my breasts and kneading them, my skin on fire. She took my nipples in
her mouth, one then the other, sucking, nibbling, teasing them expertly. Her
lips went lower across my stomach. My legs were closed but she forced them open
gently, unfolding me and exposing my soaking wet womanhood.
 
She knelt there at my open legs and gave me a wistful smile. It was so dark in
the room that I could barely see my own legs, but she was glowing, pale and
luminous like a girlshaped moon. Neither of us spoke.
 
Her thumb grazed my clit and I shuddered uncontrollably, my breasts wobbling.
They were big for a teenager, bigger than hers even. It was kind of
embarrassing. Her smile widened and she teased my clit again. I whimpered. Two
of her fingers had slipped into my folds and I could feel them poking at my
entrance, just gently.
 
I looked at her, silently begging her to do it. I was ready, so ready. She
smiled, and then she leaned forward slightly and placed her free hand over my
mouth. Then she shoved her fingers inside me and I screamed into her palm.
 
The pain was terrific but the pleasure was blinding. My scream was muffled by
her hand and I came almost instantly. She started slow but it only took four of
five thrusts before the climax burst inside me. I cried into her hand and
arched my back. She didn't stop. She took her hand from my mouth and the sound
of my panting filled the room. She kept fingering me and she started stroking
my clit with her free hand. Another orgasm started building and within minutes
I came again with a choked cry, trying not to be loud. She then leaned with her
mouth and suckled at my clit as she started thrusting harder, harder, her
fingers plunging and plunging and her tongue lashing at my throbbing nub until
I came a third time, the climax tearing through me like an earthquake where I
lay struggling with a silent scream in my throat, tears in the corners of my
squeezed shut eyes, fistfuls of bedsheet clutched in my hands. My walls
clenched down on her fingers and I whimpered and went limp, laying there in a
glistening sheen of sweat with my chest heaving and my body shaking.
 
I seemed to have died for a few seconds but slowly it all started to ebb away.
When I opened my eyes she was licking the virgin blood from her fingers with a
euphoric look on her face. She opened her eyes and looked at me, smiling, still
licking at her fingers. My mouth was bone dry from all my panting but I managed
to swallow and smile back. She crawled over and kissed me, her lips soft and
warm and lovelier than ever. It should've been gross but it wasn't. It was
perfect.
 
Her lips descended on my neck and I felt her fangs graze my throat. I knew
exactly what she wanted, and without hesitation I sat up in the bed and
gathered my tangled hair over one shoulder, leaving the left side of my neck
exposed. She raised up to meet me, searching my face for consent. I smiled
shyly and tilted my head back slightly to make my neck even more exposed. Still
no words between us. We were both kneeling there in the bed, and silently she
cupped my cheek and kissed me. Then she gathered me in her arms, all warm and
soft, and bit into my neck.
 
I had no idea if I was going to die or not but I didn't really care. It felt
right. Destined. I could feel my blood leaking into her mouth and I closed my
eyes. I wrapped my arms around her and relished the warmth and softness of her
breasts pressing against mine. I leaned my face in the crook of her neck and
let myself drift as she drank my blood, rocking gently in the fading waves of
orgasm.
 
It's just a dream… I'll wake up in a second…
 
But I didn't. I blinked languidly, once, twice. The light of her glowing body
made my room faintly visible and I could see the calendar on the wall. Was this
where my dream ends? Or where it begins? I didn't care. I stroked her back and
inhaled her scent. My eyes fell shut and I let myself go, lost in her arms,
fading, melting into her dreamlike embrace.
 
—
 
 
***** Chapter 2 *****
—
 
Chapter 2:
 
—
 
"Bella?"
 
I was asleep, waking up. I muttered something.
 
"Bella, honey? Are you okay?"
 
Mom's voice. I cracked an eyelid and saw her standing by my bed, shaking my
shoulder gently, a worried expression on her face.
 
"Yeah," I said, cringing at the sudden pain in my head. "Yeah, I'm up. I'm up…"
 
It was morning, my light was on. I rubbed my eyes and—
 
Oh fuck.
 
Last night.
 
With a quick spasm of panic I grabbed at the blankets to cover myself, but then
I realized that I was…already dressed?
 
Huh?
 
"Are you okay, sweetie?" mom asked again, looking me over worriedly. "You slept
through your alarm and I've been trying to wake you up for about five minutes."
 
"Um…"
 
My mind was stuck. I was fully clothed, but how? Last night I was…wasn't I?
What the fuck happened? Was it a dream? Had I dreamt it all?
 
And what the hell is that pain between my legs?
 
"Look at you, you're so pale," mom said, touching my forehead. "And so cold!
You're freezing. That's worse than a fever. Maybe we should get you to the
doctor's office."
 
I flopped back onto the pillow, not listening. Just a dream. I wasn't sure if I
should be relieved or not but I was happy at least that my mom hadn't walked in
on me naked.
 
"I'm fine, mom," I mumbled, even though I really didn't feel fine. My head felt
like it was in a vise and I was dizzy and exhausted. Symptoms associated with
blood loss? Or burgeoning insanity? I'll think about it later when my head
isn't killing me. "I just need a few minutes, okay? I'll be alright."
 
Mom's voice went hard. "You don't look alright. You look horrible. Look at your
hair, it's all tangled. I knew I should've woken you up last night. I thought
you were just dreaming but you must've been delirious. You were making all
kinds of weird noises."
 
My eyes snapped open. I'd rolled over to face the wall and I didn't look at
her. "What noises?"
 
"Oh, nothing embarrassing. Just typical bad dream stuff, like moaning or
crying. I heard it from down the hall as I was going to bed. I was going to
wake you up, but you haven't been sleeping well lately, and—wait, what's that?"
 
"What?"
 
She was dragging my hair away from my neck and I already had a bad feeling.
 
"Looks like a bite of some kind," mom said, bending over my neck, vampire-like
herself. "Look, there's two little marks."
 
I tried looking at my neck but my eyes couldn't reach. Mom noticed my
difficulty.
 
"It's right there, two little insect bites."
 
She touched my neck to point them out. It was the left side of my neck, right
where Alice had…bitten me.
 
Great.
 
My dementia had progressed to the point of self-harm. Either that or last night
was real. Both possibilities were equally crazy.
 
"They can't be mosquitoes," mom went on, "not in this weather. Maybe it was
spiders. See, this is exactly why I keep telling you to clean your room,
Bella." She looked around the room with a frown and her hands on her hips. "Who
knows what kind of creepy crawlies you've got roaming around this pig sty. And
why is your window unlocked?"
 
I was rubbing my neck absently. Two little bumps, right there where my pulse
was. Coincidence? It can't be, it must…
 
Wait, what did she say? Window?
 
Mom had gone over to the window and flipped the latch to lock it. It had been
closed but unlocked, as if someone had climbed out from the inside. Someone
like Alice, after she'd cleaned me up and dressed me?
 
"Now come on, get up," mom said, clapping her hands at me like she always did.
"I'm taking you to the doctor. Those bites might be poisonous."
 
"Mom, I'm fine—"
 
"No, missy, your not. You look like you've been hit by a truck. Now hurry up
and get changed. I'll be waiting downstairs."
 
I sighed, my eyelids so heavy. All I wanted to do was go back to sleep, but I
guess she was right. Somehow I could feel the blood loss, a dizzy feeling like
I was in danger of passing out. But at the moment I had more important things
to worry about, like that musky smell under the covers that thankfully mom
hadn't noticed yet.
 
"Can I at least have a shower first?" I mumbled. "So I can wake up properly?"
 
"Fine, but make it quick, and I mean very quick. None of those twenty minute
showers you like so much."
 
I blushed, listening to mom pad away down the hall. To be honest I didn't think
I'd be requiring a long shower in a while. Last night was so intense it felt
like a nightmare. Maybe it was. God, what's happening to me?
 
"Now, Bella!" mom called from down stairs, the beginnings of anger in her
voice. "Right now!"
 
Grumbling under my breath, I threw off the covers, swung my legs over the side,
and sat up. My head spun with the movement.
 
"Fuck…" I murmured to myself, frowning, a hand to my temple. "Jeez…"
 
Okay, maybe I did need a doctor. And while I'm there maybe I can check out the
psyche ward too. Bite marks or not, I'm still totally crazy for letting her do
it. No self-respecting heroine should go down on her villain without a fight,
no matter how sexy she is.
 
It took me a few seconds to get my head straight and when I stood up I had
another dizzy spell, but not so bad. Trying to be brave and ignoring the
beginnings of anxiety in my stomach, I went and got clothes and shuffled down
the hall to the bathroom.
 
I washed myself quickly—with emphasis on a certain area—and didn't bother with
my hair. There was still a slight pain between my legs, a mild stinging
sensation, and before I turned off the water, I gave myself a brief
examination. I poked around a little but found no sign of my hymen or whatever
they called it in sex ed. Which, I suppose, was rather distressing. I mean, I'm
no gynecologist, but from the evidence at hand, it fully appears that I had sex
last night. And not even a date first. What will mom say?
 
Shaking my head, I turned off the taps and stepped out to dry myself. I blushed
and tried not to grin, remembering how Alice had licked the blood from her
fingers. Kind of trashy when you think back on it. Hot as hell, but still. I
mean, is that all I am to her, a meal? She didn't even leave her number. And
what the hell am I supposed to say when I see her at school?
 
Wrapping the towel around my middle, I stood at the mirror and brushed my hair.
Ii was very tangled and took a lot of tugging. My face in the mirror was very
pale, but not pearly pale like Alice, a pallid pale like a corpse, with big
purple circles under my eyes. I was also very gaunt and thin. I thought a
girl's supposed to be radiant the morning after sex? I didn't feel radiant. I
felt like I'd been kicked in the crotch and thrown through a window. Oh well.
No one said becoming a woman would be easy, particularly in the arms of a
ravenous vampire.
 
All things considered, though, I really had no reason to complain. Multiple
orgasms and all that. Credit where credit is due. I remember when Lauren had
broadcasted her first experience. She said it took about thirty seconds and she
was laughing the whole time. My first experience was so amazing it almost
killed me. Literally. It was kind of poetic, when you think about it. Devoured
by a dream and dead by dawn. Passion consumed, alas for innocence.
 
By the time I got downstairs, I was dressed and my damp hair was tied back in
it's customary ponytail. I wonder if Alice would prefer my hair down? That is,
if she's even still interested. I hope she is. I don't mind getting killed so
much, but I'd hate to be dumped after one night. That would be so humiliating.
 
Mom was waiting in the kitchen, pacing anxiously. I barely had time for a glass
of orange juice before she ushered me out the door and into the car, only
asking me if I was alright about a hundred times. I'd made the mistake of
leaning on the kitchen table against another dizzy spell and she was half way
into panic mode. She was driving fast and glancing at me at every turn, and I
was sitting there quietly, staring down at my lap with eyes that weren't even
fully open. My mind had drifted to last night and I was starting to feel some
of that clichéd radiance. I remembered how she'd felt in my arms, the touch of
her lips, the silkiness of her leg wrapped around me. Suddenly I was
disappointed I wasn't going to school. I really wanted to see her. I don't know
why, but I had the feeling everything would be perfect if I could just see her.
 
The appointment at the doctor's office wasn't encouraging. Apparently I'd lost
a lot of blood—somehow—and I should get over to the emergency room for proper
treatment. Mom was freaking out but eventually she managed to calm herself to
the point where she could drive. I jokingly offered to take the wheel but mom
didn't see the humor in it.
 
We drove to Fork's Medical Center where mom parked and dragged me inside and
proceeded to harangue the nurse behind the desk until the nurse gave us some
forms to fill out. Mom filled them out for me, and I glanced them over quickly
to see if you had to disclose your orientation, but you didn't, which was good.
Now was probably not the best time to come out to my mom. Any more stress and
she'd probably need to fill out a form for herself.
 
We were sitting next to each other in the empty waiting room when a doctor came
out and approached us. I saw him first and had an awkward moment of holy fuck.
Not attraction, more like awe. He was an incredibly handsome man, with perfect
blonde hair and clear blue eyes, like a male angel. I'd never been impressed by
a man in my life, but this guy came close. He was pale, like Alice, and…
 
Wait, like Alice?
 
Mom had been biting her nails and tapping her foot anxiously but when she saw
the doctor she stopped tapping. He approached with a polite smile, glanced at
his clipboard, and said:
 
"Miss Swan?"
 
He was talking to me, but mom rose from her chair in a daze, clutching her
handbag. "Yes? Oh, you mean Bella! Oh, um, this is Bella, my daughter. She's
not feeling well and we went to the doctor and he told us to come here, Dr,
um…?"
 
He smiled. "Dr Cullen."
 
Of course.
 
Who else?
 
I took a closer look at him, and it wasn't just the pale skin and unearthly
beauty that reminded me of Alice, it was his eyes. They weren't the same color
as hers but they had the same warmth, the same…glow. A subtle brightness,
something that wasn't quite human. Does that mean he's a…
 
…vampire?
 
He turned his smile to me. "I believe you met my daughter Alice yesterday at
school," he said conversationally. "She was very happy to meet you. You made
quite an impression on her."
 
I felt a quick spasm of longing at the mention of Alice, or more specifically
at the mention of Alice mentioning me. Which was kind of ridiculous. I already
knew she was happy to meet me, the proof was on my neck and between my legs.
Unless she's the kind of girl who goes around biting and screwing everybody she
meets, which I didn't think so.
 
He might've been expecting a reply but all I did was nod. There was no feeling
of trust for him like I felt for Alice, but I wasn't scared exactly. The warmth
in his eyes was enough to keep me from freaking out and somehow I got the
impression that he was here for a reason, that he only wanted to help. I
decided to pretend everything was normal and see what happens.
 
He turned back to mom and she pretended like she hadn't been staring.
 
"Now, why don't we talk in my office?"
 
He led us to his office where mom regained her composure and began to pour
forth everything that was wrong with me and everything the other doctor had
told her. Dr Cullen nodded, checking his clipboard from time to time or
glancing at me as if to verify mom's claims, and I just sat there
uncomfortably. Truthfully, I was feeling a bit a better—well, my headache was
gone, at least—but when I mentioned that, mom just glared at me and told me to
stop being difficult. She showed him the bites, she pointed out my paleness,
she exaggerated my fatigue till it sounded like I was dead already. I just
shook my head. I knew there was something wrong with me, but I hated being the
center of attention.
 
Then it was times for tests. I was put in a cold hospital room and told to
change into an ugly hospital gown that made my stomach twist in anxiety. I'm no
fashionista, but really. My legs would be exposed. It's just not proper.
 
But I didn't put up a fuss. I got changed like a good girl, folding my clothes
neatly like an even better girl, and then it was time for the examination. Dr
Cullen was relatively merciful. There was a needle involved but that was
invasive as it got, thank god. I'd rather die a slow death in the privacy of my
own bed than go through something like that.
 
Unfortunately, the doctor concluded that I was required to have a blood
transfusion. Mom was mystified by how I could've lost so much blood asleep in
my bed but Dr Cullen's explained it away with big medical words that left her
even more mystified. I was sitting on the edge of a hospital cot, shivering
slightly with the blood IV in my vein. The doctor had told me to lie down but
he didn't repeat it when I stayed sitting up as if I hadn't heard, he just
adjusted the blood bag and gave me a smile. He was very quiet, but he smiled a
lot, and his smile was very assuring. I'd been looking out for a glimpse of his
teeth but he seemed very guarded with them. Mom hovered the whole time,
questioning his every move, nodding at the explanations. I still didn't feel
comfortable with him but I had decided not to try and stake him with a scalpel.
He seemed like a decent guy and I was still feeling very woozy.
 
When the transfusion was done they left me alone to get changed. I was very
tired and it was a struggle to get my pants on, but I did, and then I sat on
the edge of the cot and stared at the ground. Alice hadn't been far from my
thoughts all morning and the urge to see her felt like a rock in my stomach.
There was so much unsaid, so much I didn't know, but beyond that I think I just
needed to see her. Even just to look at her.
 
The door opened and mom bustled in.
 
"I was speaking with the doctor," she said, "and he said it's some kind of
acute anemia, a thinning of the blood, so it isn't really like blood loss.
Isn't he gorgeous?"
 
The last comment derailed me a bit but I ignored it. My health, after all, is
more important.
 
"So it's not blood loss?"
 
Mom nodded, examining my face. "Not exactly, but it's very complicated. I'm
going to look it up on the internet as soon as we get home. Or maybe I should
go to the library. I'm so hopeless with computers."
 
"And the bites?"
 
"Oh, they're nothing, just some household insect. It's this anemia that worries
me. He tried explaining it to me and I pretended to understand, but it's all so
complicated. But gosh he's gorgeous, don't you think?"
 
I got annoyed this time. What do I care about some guy? I get enough of this
boy shit at school.
 
"I guess," I muttered, "I don't know."
 
She must've thought I was being shy. "It's okay, sweetie," she said, patting my
hand playfully. "You can admit it, I won't laugh."
 
I knew she was only trying to cheer me up or make me laugh but it really wasn't
what I wanted to hear. I looked at her blandly with my pale face and hooded
purple eyes. "Mom, I really don't care."
 
My dead tone sobered her a little. "Well, all right," she said. She cocked her
head and peered at me worriedly. "How do you feel after the transfusion?"
 
"Fine, I guess," I said with an effort at a smile. "Better than this morning."
 
She nodded but before she could speak the door opened behind her and Dr Cullen
came in with his clipboard. Mom immediately started staring and I rolled my
eyes.
 
"Good news, Miss Swan," he said, "you're preliminary blood work indicates no
further complications, so you're good to go. We have some further tests to run,
but I'm sure everything will be fine."
 
"Oh, good," mom gushed in relief. "Isn't that good, Bella?"
 
Yeah, wonderful. I live. Yay. Life still sucks, though.
 
But as soon as the thought passed through my head I remembered Alice and it
occurred to me than maybe life wouldn't suck so much anymore. If only I could
get a date or something. Something a little less intense, maybe, something that
wouldn't hospitalize me afterward. Either way, my immediate future does look a
little brighter. Short maybe, but bright.
 
Dr Cullen had ripped off a slip of paper from a pad of tickets and handed it to
mom. "Here's the prescription I mentioned, you can pick it up at the pharmacy
downstairs." Then he turned to me and smiled a reassuring smile. I guess he was
kind of cute. Maybe it was because his features were kind of girlish. He was
probably a lot older than he looked. He looked barely eighteen. "So, Miss
Swan," he said, "how are you feeling?"
 
I shrugged a shoulder. Why do people keep asking me? The answer isn't gonna
change. I could have a harpoon sticking out my chest and I'd still tell people
I'm fine.
 
"Okay, I guess," I told him. Then, struggling for casualness, I asked: "Am I
good to go to school?"
 
I was praying he'd say yes, because I really wanted to see Alice, but I could
see the negative in his expression before he spoke.
 
"Not for a few days, I'm afraid. For now it's best you stay home and rest, no
sports, no outdoors."
 
Mom was nodding sagely at his elbow like an intern. He glanced at her and then
back me. I had looked away, openly disappointed, and he seemed to read this in
me.
 
"But there's no reason you should fall behind in your school work," he added.
"If you'd like I could send Alice over with your homework. I'm sure she'd be
happy to help you out."
 
My mouth dropped open. "Oh, um…"
 
"That'll be great, Dr Cullen, thank you," mom stepped in. "But aren't you a
little young to have a daughter Bella's age?"
 
"Alice is my adopted daughter," he clarified, "I'm simply her legal guardian."
 
"But rest assured, Miss Swan," he went on, looking at me seriously. "What
happened to you last night was a very isolated case. From now on you should be
perfectly fine."
 
I frowned. Was he talking about this so-called anemia, or was he trying to
reassure me about Alice? Did he know about me and Alice? Did he know what she
did?
 
Of course he does, you idiot. Blood loss and bite marks don't leave a whole lot
to the imagination, do they?
 
But what about him? Is he a vampire like Alice? Does he feed from humans? Does
he…kill people?
 
I'm not sure how I felt about receiving medical care from a monster, but no,
somehow I really doubted it. His eyes were too kind, he couldn't possibly be
evil. Besides, I'm still alive. If that proves anything it proves that feeding
isn't necessarily lethal.
 
Mom smiled and clapped her hands. "Well, that's a relief, right Bella?"
 
I nodded absently, still wondering what he meant.
 
Dr Cullen smiled. "I'll have Alice pay a visit tomorrow afterschool," he said.
"Until then, take it easy." He turned to mom and smiled. "I'll be in touch
about Miss Swan's blood work."
 
He was on his way out but mom followed him in a fluster.
 
"Oh, yes, of course, thank you so much, I'll just…"
 
She paused at the door and watched him go. Then she turned to me and sighed.
 
"That guy's gorgeous," she said. "Do you think he's married?"
 
—
 
It was about lunch time when mom dropped me off at home. She followed me inside
and issued orders that I took it easy, no heavy lifting, no operating heavy
machinery, no cardio weight training. I told her I'd be fine and sent her off
to catch the last few hours of work.
 
I hadn't eaten anything but there was nothing in the fridge that looked worth
the effort. I was a little bummed out that I wouldn't get to see Alice today
but I guess tomorrow was the next best thing. Just thinking about the meeting
had my stomach in knots. I wasn't afraid—how could I possibly be afraid of
something so cute?—but there was no possible way to predict what was going to
happen, and that was kind of scary. The possibilities were endless, from death
to awkward silence to an impromptu study session. And, maybe, sex. I mean, you
never know. I got lucky once. It could happen again.
 
Trying not to think about it for now, I went upstairs and changed my sheets. It
was the perfect opportunity, while mom was gone and I had the house to myself.
I pulled them off my bed and threw new ones on. I took the dirty ones to the
laundry and I was about to stick them in the washer when I paused. It occurred
to me that maybe Alice's scent was on them. It felt kind of creepy but I did it
anyway; I held the sheets to my nose and inhaled.
 
A warm wash of lavender rolled over me and I almost fell over backward. I was
still dizzy from the transfusion and I had to lean on the washer to keep my
legs from buckling.
 
God, that's amazing.
 
I lifted the sheets again and inhaled, closing my eyes, my breath shuddering.
How could it possibly smell so strong? So wonderful? Silly question. She wasn't
real. She seemed real, but she was something else, something magic. Something
impossibly pretty that glowed in the dark and licked her lips hungrily. So
sexy…
 
Suddenly I shook my head and told myself to stop being such a creepy stalker
chick. I stuck the sheets in the washer and added the powder and got the cycle
going. Immediately I regretted it. It was like the scent was addictive or
something.
 
That night, before I went to bed, I stared long and hard at my window. It was
closed and locked, but for some reason I wasn't feeling the same pull as I felt
last night. Last night the impulse to leave it open had been irresistible, as
if I'd known exactly what was going to happen. I'd still felt like an idiot,
but the certainty was greater. And then there was the dream and the calendar,
so many signs. It had all fit as if it was destined.
 
Tonight, however, all I felt was the idiot part. And that was just from
thinking about it, I hadn't even opened the window yet. And beyond all this was
the fact that our last night together had send me straight to the emergency
room, so I had to ask myself, was I really up for another one? Would I even
live through it? Maybe it would be best not to tempt fate—or a vampire—twice in
a row.
 
I stood there anxiously, hesitating, undecided. Finally I decided on a
compromise; I opened the window but kept my clothes on. It seemed to send an
appropriate message. Yes, I'd like to see you, but I'm still dressed so maybe
we should just talk. I felt like a humongous moron, but I decided to go with
it.
 
She never came. I lay there awake in the dark for as long as I could but I was
so exhausted. It was only nine o'clock but I could barely keep my eyes open. I
stared at the window, no wind, no rustling of the drapes. No Alice. My eyes
were closing and finally they fell shut.
 
Tomorrow, I told myself. I'll see her tomorrow…
 
Just as I was falling asleep I heard a noise. I tried to swim up out of the
darkness but I couldn't. The last thing I felt was a weight tilt the mattress,
as if someone had sat on the bed beside me, but maybe I was already asleep.
 
No dreams that night and in the morning there was a scent of lavender in the
air. My alarm hadn't gone off yet and it was still dim in the room. I sat up
and inhaled. It was fading but it was still there. I looked down at the bed and
noticed a rumpled patch on the covers. In a quick burst of excitement, I
reached under the covers and felt the mattress.
 
It was warm.
 
As if someone had been sitting there.
 
I gave a cautious smile and I withdrew my hand slowly, thinking about that.
Alice had come in my room last night and watched me sleep. Now, was that
creepy? Or just completely and totally awesome? I was leaning toward the
latter. She was too cute to be creepy. It just wasn't possible.
 
But why didn't she say something? Why didn't she stay? Was she afraid I'd be
scared? Or angry?
 
Or am I just imagining things? I mean, just because vampires might be real,
doesn't mean I'm not losing my mind at the same time. Maybe it's time to
reexamine that theory.
 
I huffed and shook my head.
 
Or maybe I should just stop thinking about it altogether and try and get some
answers from Alice herself.
 
Mom was in the kitchen, making me breakfast and making a mess of it. She was
trying to make pancakes as a surprise, which was sweet. For some reason she was
convinced they were my favorite although I don't remember ever mentioning it.
Still, everybody likes pancakes and it's the thought that counts. At first she
told me to just sit down and I did—for a few minutes—but eventually I took over
and cooked them myself to save them being burnt beyond consumption.
 
While I ate she asked me a million times how I felt and I mumbled a million
similar responses. She floated around in a fit of maternal cloying until she
was in danger of being late for work, and then she kissed me on head, made me
repeat how much I felt better, and took off with her handbag and her
fretfulness, promising to call and leaving me alone in the house with nothing
to do but wait for Alice.
 
I sighed, sitting there in the kitchen. Dr Cullen said she'd be visiting after
school, so that probably meant four o'clock or something. What to do till then?
 
I did the dishes.
 
I watched TV.
 
I did a search for lesbian erotica on my Kindle and downloaded an eBook called
Our Little Secret. It was pretty good.
 
For hours my stomach was twisted in a knot of anxiety and by three o'clock I
was in serious panic mode. I'd skipped lunch and I was back in the kitchen,
staring at the clock, shivering with nervousness. The heat was on but I was
cold. The uncertainty was killing me. What the hell was I supposed to say? What
the hell was I supposed to wear? I had my hair in a ponytail but I was in
throes of anxiety over that too. I didn't want to look like I was trying to
impress her but I didn't want to look like a loser either. Oh god, why is this
so complicated?
 
I sat at the table and held my mug in my hands, biting my lip. It was filled
with milk, I hate coffee. I sipped and sighed. Maybe I should just relax, I
thought. Trust Alice. We'd only exchanged a grand total of maybe five words,
but somehow I knew her, and I knew she was a nice person. I knew it in my
heart.
 
There was a knock at the door and I went cold all over.
 
My first thought was to ignore it and they'll go away. Then I realized that I'd
been waiting all day—all my life—for this moment, and I stood up, and
swallowed, and went over to the front door.
 
It was Alice. She smiled as I opened the door, standing there with a butterfly
hairclip in her hair, her eyes so incredibly beautiful. My mouth dropped open
and speech failed me. My heart clenched in my chest. She was so beautiful. Can
she possibly be real?
 
"Hi," she said, her voice like bell chimes in the clear afternoon. "Remember
me?"
 
"Labpartner," I replied vaguely.
 
Her smile widened. "Alice Cullen," she said, dipping a curtsy with imaginary
petticoats. "At your service. May I come in?"
 
"Sure," I said, moving back and holding open the door, dazed, staring, stealing
a glance at her ass as she went by. She was wearing jeans and oh my god. I took
a shaky breath of her lavender scent and closed the door.
 
She was looking around with polite interest. She smiled at me.
 
"Nice place."
 
"Thanks."
 
She had a clutch of textbooks in her arms and she hefted them slightly.
 
"Where do you want your stuff?"
 
"Um…" I looked around. Kitchen. I pointed at it vaguely. "In here's okay."
 
She followed me into the kitchen and laid my homework onto the kitchen table. I
stood around, my body rigid and weak. I didn't know what to do with myself. All
I could do was focus on not staring.
 
She noticed my face and her expression changed. She cocked her head and looked
at me with concern.
 
"So," she said softly. "How are you feeling?"
 
I had an automatic response for that one. "Okay, I guess."
 
She nodded. Then she smiled. "I was worried about you, the way you ran out of
class the other day. Was it something I said?"
 
I gushed a chuckle. "No, I was just…I wasn't feeling well."
 
She nodded. She looked at the text books on the table and back at me. "Do you
want me to leave? I'd be happy to stay and help you study."
 
For a second I was stuck for an answer. I'd been waiting so long to see her,
and now she was here, but her presence was just so overwhelming. It was scary,
and before I knew it I'd said:
 
"Nah, that's okay. I can handle it."
 
As soon as the words were out I wanted to slap myself. I was basically telling
her to get lost and I didn't want her to go, I didn't, I just…
 
But she seemed to understand. There was no trace of disappointment or anger in
her expression, she just smiled at me one of her warm and perfect smiles, and
shrugged. "Well, I guess I'd better go," she said, and then she stepped forward
and wrapped me into a hug. She squeezed me gently and whispered: "I hope you
feel better."
 
I froze, too freaked out to even hug her back. Her scent flooded my brain but
it was different somehow, mellower but no less maddening. I turned my nose to
her hair slightly, trembling like a leaf in a storm, struggling against the
impulse to kiss her somewhere, anywhere, and then she stepped back and cocked
her head cutely.
 
"Walk me to the door?"
 
It took a second to snap out of my daze but I did what she said. I opened the
front door for her and she stepped out onto the porch. I watched her anxiously,
not wanting for her to go, dying to call her back. She turned to me and smiled.
 
"Well, I guess I'll see you at school."
 
She hesitated for a second as if trying to decide whether or not to say
something. Then she leaned and kissed my cheek softly. She stood back and
winked.
 
"Bye," she said. My cheek burned where she'd kissed it but I managed to reply,
softly, almost whispered: "Bye."
 
She wiggled her fingers in a girly wave and then she turned and crossed the
lawn to her car, glancing over her shoulder, and got in. She drove away and for
a while I stared down the empty wet street. There was nothing to see but I was
staring anyway.
 
When I finally wandered back inside I collapsed into the couch and curled up
into a dazed heap of confusion. I tried to remember the meeting but I could
barely remember anything I'd said. From the moment I'd opened the door to
reveal her exquisite form a haze had descended over me that seemed to smother
all rational thought. The only thing I remembered was her smile.
 
And her ass.
 
I mean, damn.
 
—
 
Two days later I was back at school and I still hadn't come to any definite
conclusions concerning my mental status. The incidents in question seemed a
little too elaborate to be delusions and while I still couldn't quite bring
myself to believe in the reality of vampires I couldn't find any other
explanation.
 
I hadn't seen Alice since she'd bought over my homework but I left the window
open every night and every morning there'd be a scent of lavender in the air.
I'd wonder if she knew that I knew or if she thought she was being sneaky. Then
I'd wonder if it was all in my head. The days went on like that in a vague haze
of bewilderment until mom finally cleared me for school.
 
That morning I didn't even bother trying to meet up with Lauren and them, I
just went straight to my locker and got my bag and my cell phone—mom had
reminded me a million times never to let it out of my sight again—and then I
went straight to homeroom. I kept my eyes peeled in the halls for Alice but I
never saw her. It was still early and the teacher hadn't arrived yet so the
class was locked. I took up a position against the wall at a respectable
distance from the door and waited.
 
I was already nervous about biology and mostly I just stared at the ground.
Other students began to trickle over in pairs and groups, none of them paying
attention to me. Then Lauren and Angela came over and when Lauren saw me she
grinned, instantly and meanly.
 
"Yo, dyke," she greeted me with her usual warmth and friendliness. "Where've
you been?"
 
"Sick," I muttered.
 
They took positions beside me, not quite close, but near me, which was
flattering enough.
 
"Sick, huh?" Lauren smirked. "It's because you're gay. It makes all of us sick.
Right, Ange?"
 
Angela just rolled her eyes and shook her head noncommittally. She was very
tall and her hair was long and dark. She was shy like me and under other
circumstances we could've been good friends. It's just a shame there's always
people like Lauren in the way.
 
"Fuck you, Lauren," I said, but my heart wasn't in it. Just trying to salvage
some self-respect, don't mind me.
 
Lauren snorted, ready as usual with a retaliatory quip. "You keep saying that,
but it's not gonna happen."
 
Angela frowned distastefully. "Do you really have to be so mean, Lauren?"
 
"Ooh, I think Angie's got a crush on you, dyke, what do you think?"
 
I blushed. "I think you're a small minded bitch."
 
Lauren snickered. "Better than what you are."
 
Angela rolled her eyes at the exchange and then turned to me.
 
"So what happened to you in biology the other day?" she said. "You kind of just
freaked out."
 
My heart jumped at the mention. I frowned and shrugged, trying not to let on.
"I don't know. I had a headache."
 
"Yeah right," Lauren sneered. "Probably running to the bathroom to jack off or
whatever you dykes do. Jess said you were practically drooling over that Cullen
bitch."
 
I flared at the less than graceful reference to Alice. "Jess can go fuck
herself," I spat.
 
Lauren cringed. "Jeez, there's a horrifying image. Is that all you dyke's think
about?"
 
I looked at Lauren with disgust. "I wouldn't touch that rancid bitch with a
broomstick."
 
Angela giggled and even Lauren grinned. I felt a small twitch of pride. Maybe
this is why everyone likes teasing me. It's kind of fun—when it's not happening
to you.
 
By the time the teacher arrived they'd lost interest in me and I was glad to
faze out. I followed them into the class and sat nearby while they talked about
nothing I really cared about. I stared down at my desk, thinking about Alice.
Biology was third period, which was over an hour from now, and anxiety was
already rolling in my stomach.
 
First class was math, a cheerful way to start the day. Me and Lauren worked
together in a rising exchange of repartee and homophobic insult until the
teacher walked by, heard the word dyke, and threatened Lauren with detention.
Lauren pretended to be sorry and as soon as the teacher was gone she called me
a dyke all over again and accused the teacher of being in love with me because
she was probably a dyke too. Chick really needs some new material.
 
Before biology I stopped at my locker and sorted my books, my stomach still
twisting. I hesitated at my locker long enough to be late and when I finally
got to the biology lab I knew that Alice would already be there. That I'd open
the door and I'd see her. My heart throbbed at the prospect and I took a deep
breath to work up the courage. Then I pushed open the door and walked in.
 
Alice was sitting at the same bench as last time, only this time she was at the
window. There was no sun outside, just paleness, but she seemed to glow all
unto herself. Everything around her seemed drab and colorless and only she
seemed vibrant. She had an elbow on the tabletop and her chin in her hand,
gazing out the window. Did I look anything like that when I was waiting for
her? Probably not.
 
The class had already began and at my entrance everyone looked at me. Alice
turned and smiled. As if she was happy to see me. I blushed and closed the
door. I made a quick apology to the teacher and then I scurried down the aisle
to take my place next to Alice. My dream girl.
 
"Hi," she whispered with a smile as I slipped onto the stool beside her.
 
I nodded, my face burning, trying not to grin like an idiot. "Hi."
 
The teacher continued with the lecture and both me and Alice turned to face
front. It would've been too noticeable to talk through the lecture, but maybe
we could talk later when we were supposed to be working, or maybe after class.
Maybe she'd let me walk with her a little, or maybe during lunch, or—
 
God she smells so good.
 
I didn't even attempt to pay attention to the teacher, couldn't have even if I
tried. I swallowed the lump in my throat and glanced at her discretely. She was
so pretty. I should've worn my hair down. I look like a loser next to her.
 
I dropped my eyes to the desk and frowned. What the hell was happening to me?
My breathing had deepened and I was starting to feel the same sensations as
last time in biology, waves of warm lavender washing over me. Just being next
to her was intoxicating. Sitting beside me, back straight. Shoulders set. Her
small frame, clad in her black suede jacket. I took a deep breath and suddenly
I noticed she was looking at me, as if to see if I was okay. I flashed her a
smile and refocused on the teacher.
 
Get it together, Bella, I told myself.
 
I blinked a couple times, my eyes hot and teary. Something stirring inside me.
Oh god. I looked at her desperately, swallowing lump after lump in my throat.
So pretty. I looked away, I leaned on the desk to support myself. Two tears
trailed down my cheeks the next time I blinked. I held my breath. A soft
whimper escaped me when I tried to breathe again. She was looking at me in
concern and I wiped the tears away with my fingers, praying no one noticed. The
whole room was humming, my heart throbbing in my ears, the teacher droning in
the background. I looked at her—oh fuck—and looked away again. I dug a
fingernail into my palm and more tears were welling in my eyes. I squirmed on
the stool, my skin crawling under my clothes. She was still looking at me and
she whispered:
 
"Bella, are you—"
 
I launched myself at her.
 
I didn't even know I was going to do it, it just happened. The sound of her
voice triggered something inside me—just like the other night—and I launched
myself off the stool and at her mouth, craving her lips, her taste, her
everything.
 
It would've been the most embarrassing moment of my life, but Alice was like a
cat, and she evaded skillfully. She leapt to her feet and twisted away and I
went sprawled into the ground, dragging a stool down on top of me. Which was
still the most embarrassing moment of my life, but not as bad as it could've
been.
 
"Oh god, Bella, are you okay?" Alice asked, crouching beside me to help me up.
 
The rest of the class was laughing, of course. It's always amusing, a fellow
student's pain. They must've thought I'd simply fallen.
 
I was dazed but the crash had knocked a little coherence into me. I was
standing up and Alice was holding my arm. I looked at her and her eyes were big
and bright with concern. Her lips were right there, right there in front of me,
and I wanted to kiss them so much, I wanted to just…
 
"Miss Cullen," the teacher called out, "what's going on over there?"
 
"I think Bella's still feeling a little ill," Alice replied. "May I have
permission to take her to the sick bay?"
 
I put a hand to my temple and squeezed shut my eyes, trying to regain my
composure. Alice was holding my arm and her touch, even through the sleeve of
my sweater, was maddening.
 
"Yes," the teacher said worriedly, looking me over, "I think you'd better."
 
Alice led me out, trailed by a few snickers. She'd taken my hand and we were
halfway down the corridor before I realized that this wasn't the way to the
sick bay.
 
"I'm so sorry," Alice was saying, tugging me along. "I couldn't let you
embarrass yourself in front of the whole class like that."
 
"Where are we going?"
 
She didn't answer. She dragged me upstairs and into one of the girl's
bathrooms—the upstairs ones were cleaner—and then she threw me against the wall
and kissed me viciously.
 
It was bliss.
 
Her tongue pushed past my lips and I let it, accepted it, hungered for more. My
desire for her had been pent up since I first sat beside her in class, since
waking up this morning with her scent in the room, since yesterday or even
before then, since that very first night we spent together when I felt her
teeth in my neck. I'd been craving it for so long and she was finally giving it
to me, her body pressed into mine and pushing me against the wall.
 
I tilted my face to allow her better access into my mouth and as out tongues
touched I felt a spasm of horniness in my pants. I moaned and responded more
eagerly, my hands at her waist, her scent swirling in my head. She kissed me
harder, responding to my open eagerness, but then she slowed down. She cupped
my cheek and kissed at my lips gently. My eyes fluttered open and looked into
hers, big, hot, honey-colored, and she dropped her eyes and touched her
forehead to my shoulder.
 
"I'm sorry," she gasped, breathless. "I'm so sorry."
 
I didn't know what she was apologizing for but it didn't matter. "It's okay," I
whispered, holding her at the waist. Her top was some thin material and her
body underneath was soft but slight, so slight. I never wanted to let her go.
 
She gave a breathless chuckle, still leaning her head against me. "This is so
crazy, isn't it?"
 
I was surprised. "You mean this is crazy for you too?"
 
She lifted her head and smiled at me. "Of course it is," she said, looking into
my eyes. She caressed my cheek. "I've never felt like this before."
 
Her words surprised me. For some reason I had thought this was all normal for
her. Maybe it was stupid to think that.
 
We looked into each others eyes, still breathless. I flickered my eyes over her
lips, as if to beg for another kiss, and she was about to oblige me when the
bathroom door swung open.
 
A girl walked in and paused midstep, hand on the door knob. Stared open mouthed
at where me and Alice were pressed up against the wall, bodies touching, half
breathless. She looked as if she'd witnessed a murder.
 
"Oh, um…eww," she said, and then she spun around hastily and went out.
 
I had no idea who she was but I sincerely hoped she had better things to do
than gossip about the two chicks she caught making out in the girl's room.
 
Alice released my face and stepped back. I missed her warmth instantly and
fought not to attack her again.
 
"We can't talk here," she said. "May I see you tonight?"
 
Need she ask?
 
—
 
That night I was in a fever of anticipation. I'd been ignoring mom since I got
home, skipped most of dinner, and said goodnight as early as possible. Now I
was pacing in my room, the window fully open and the drapes rustling gently.
 
The light was off, in case mom saw from the hall, but I was fully clothed in my
regular pajamas, shorts and a tanktop and a nightrobe to keep me warm before
bed. I had wondered if I should be waiting naked in bed like last time, but I
wasn't in the mood. I was too anxious, too desperate. I wouldn't be able to lay
still, I'd just feel silly.
 
And so I was waiting. The attraction that was tugging at my chest was
indescribable and as the minutes ticked away I was starting to feel the
beginnings of rejection. What if she doesn't come? She has to come. But what if
she doesn't?
 
I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the window, tapping a foot. Then I
got up and started pacing again.
 
It was past ten when she finally arrived. I glared at her as she climbed in,
furious and irrationally hurt that she'd made me wait so long. She was dressed
in the same clothes she'd worn at school and hopped into the room with a little
flourish and turned to me with a smile.
 
"Hi," she chirped.
 
Again, it was her voice. I walked over, grabbed her face, and kissed her
fiercely.
 
At first she responded, as if she wanted it as much as me, but then she pushed
at me gently. "Bella," she breathed, the sound of my name only making me more
eager. "Bella, baby, slow down. Don't you want to talk?"
 
"Yes," I gasped into her mouth. "Yes, but I…"
 
"I know, it's okay," she whispered, stroking my face as if to calm me. "Come
on, let's sit down."
 
I got myself under control and stepped back with my head bowed. She climbed
onto my bed and sat cross legged, patting the space beside her for me to sit. I
looked at her. Her porcelain face was glowing in the dark and she was so pretty
it stopped my heart.
 
"You're glowing," I whispered, tears prickling my eyes. "You're really
glowing."
 
"Yes," she smiled. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Will you sit
down?"
 
I went over and sat. We were both sitting cross legged, facing each other, me
wrapped in my nightrobe and shivering from something other than cold, her in
her expensive school clothes. I stared at her, my breathing deep and irregular.
Being near her was as bad as being apart. It wasn't enough. I needed to be
closer.
 
Alice took a deep breath and looked at me. "As you've probably noticed," she
said, "I'm not…human. I'm a vampire."
 
She seemed to be waiting for a response. I said: "Oh." But that didn't seem
enough so I added: "Seriously?"
 
She smiled at my lack of vocabulary. "Yes," she said, "my whole family is. But
before I say anything else, I need to assure you that we're not monsters. I
can't explain everything now, but believe me. We're not evil. We don't hurt
people."
 
I'd already known, deep in my heart, but all the same, it was a huge relief to
hear it from her. I would've hated being in love with a demon but I had the
sick certainty that it might not of mattered. The pull I felt for her seemed to
be beyond good or evil. She might've been the evilest chick in the world but an
ass like that would corrupt even the purest maidens.
 
"I wanted to tell you all this as soon as possible," she went on, "but I was
scared. I had no idea how you'd react." She went quiet, she folded her hands in
her lap. "I've been very worried about you," she whispered.
 
"Why?" I asked stupidly.
 
Her eyes flickered to mine, half smiling. "You know why. That night… Did I hurt
you?"
 
I shook my head. "No. It was…amazing."
 
A slight lie but all in a good cause. The trip to the hospital hadn't been fun
either but I didn't want her to feel bad. I wanted her to smile. I wanted her
to always smile.
 
She seemed relieved. "Thank you," she said. "It was special for me too."
 
"I dreamt it," I blurted. "That night. I've been dreaming about it ever since I
was little. The same dream every time. I thought I was going crazy. I still
do."
 
She smiled indulgently. "You're not going crazy, Bella."
 
"Really?" I scoffed. "I'm talking to a vampire. How can you tell?"
 
She leaned over and took one of my hands. A shiver rippled through me at the
contact. She caressed it with the ball of her thumb and looked into my eyes.
 
"Can you feel me?" she asked.
 
"Y-yes," I stuttered.
 
She smiled and cocked her head. "Do I feel real?"
 
"I don't know."
 
"No," she said softly in her melodic voice, lifting my hand and kissing the
knuckles gently. "A girl struggles to understand her mind because her mind is
all she has to understand it with. She can understand her heart, but she
doesn't want to. And rightly so. Best not to look in there. It's not the heart
of a girl that's bound in the ways reality has set for it. Is it?"
 
I had no idea what she was talking about. She had my hand by her mouth and she
was rubbing her cheek against it dreamily. My throat seemed closed shut and her
cheek was so smooth, so warm, so fucking lovely.
 
She opened her eyes and smiled. She placed another kiss on my knuckles and then
she released my hand. I took it back and it seemed to go cold the minute she
let go.
 
"I promise, Bella," she said, "one day this will all make sense. Until then,
try to trust me. There's a bond between us. A very special bond. It's what made
me come to you that night. It's what made you dream about me." She smiled
cheekily and leaned forward slightly. "It's what made you lunge at me in
biology this afternoon."
 
I chuckled, blushing. "Sorry about that."
 
"Don't be. It was cute."
 
"I still don't get how I could dream about you before I even knew your name."
 
"You dreamt of me for the same reason you're staring at me right now."
 
"I don't get it."
 
She smiled. "How would you normally determine if you were attracted to
someone?"
 
"I don't know."
 
"Eyesight, touch, conversation," she said. "These are the methods by which
people measure their feelings for one another. But in the affairs of the
supernatural all things are magic and symptoms of attraction are experienced on
a different plane. A dream, a scent, the taste of blood. You dreamt of me
before you'd ever met me because your soul was aware of mine. It was calling to
me. Crying for me. And now it's found me. And now our souls can be together.
Forever."
 
I was staring at her mesmerized as she talked. I didn't really understand but I
smiled anyway. "Oh," I said. "Cool."
 
She gave me a smile that was almost an eyeroll and brushed at the knee of her
jeans as if to sweep something away. "In any case," she went on, "I don't
expect you to absorb all this tonight. Now that our bond has been…consummated,
I should be able to control myself relatively well. My pheromones have abated
for the moment. Can you tell?"
 
Now that she mentioned it, I think I could. "Yes," I said, nodding. "You smell
less…"
 
She smiled cutely. "Like a cat in heat?"
 
I blushed shyly at the image that popped into my head. Alice on all fours.
Arched. It wasn't how I was going to describe it, but yeah. Her scent was the
same, but it was less sharp, less hot. When we'd first med that day in biology
it had invaded my mind and bought me to my knees within minutes. It was still
as exquisite as it ever was, but now it was less fiery and more smoldering. It
no longer consumed in an instant but rather smothered slowly.
 
I could feel it now. Rolling over me in warm waves.
 
"May I have your cell phone?" was Alice's next question.
 
It took me by surprise. "Who are you calling?"
 
She giggled. "I was going to give you my number, silly."
 
The sound of her giggle almost killed me, it was so beautiful.
 
"Oh," I chuckled. "It's on the desk."
 
She hopped off the bed and grabbed up my phone. Her thumb darted over the
number pad with the speed and precision of a professional girl, standing there
on a cocked hip, glowing softly.
 
"This is my cell number," she said. "Give me a call sometime, okay? Whenever
you're ready."
 
I panicked. "Are you going?"
 
She put the phone down and gave me a sad smile. "Yes," she said. "For now I
think it's best. Love takes time and it would be wrong of us to rush.
Especially considering the potential consequences."
 
I hung my head, still sitting there in the bed. I felt devastated inside which
was totally ridiculous. The girl just got finished telling me we're soulmates
or something and I was upset because she didn't wanna hang around for sex. Or
even just cuddling. Or even just talking. I didn't care, I just wanted to be
near her. To be honest, I wasn't even horny, I was just…lonely.
 
I must've looked incredibly miserable because she came over to the bed and
lifted my face with a finger under my chin.
 
"But I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" she offered with a smile. "Meet you by your
locker?"
 
I nodded. "Okay."
 
She kissed my lips and stepped back, flashing me one final smile. She went to
turn but suddenly my hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.
 
"Please," I said, practically begging. "Can't you stay just a little bit?"
 
"Bella, I…"
 
"Please? I've been waiting so long to see you."
 
My pleading puppy dog eyes must've broke her. Her face melted into a smile and
she nodded and then she hopped back onto the bed and sat cross legged in front
of me.
 
For a second I just stared at her in happy relief. Then I realized she was
waiting for me to speak and I panicked all over again. What the hell could I
possibly say that wouldn't make me sound like an idiot? Should I complement her
hair? Ask her where she got her shoes? Nothing was occurring to me. What are
you supposed to say to the girl of your dreams? What words could possibly
capture how you feel?
 
We were so close our knees were almost touching and what I really wanted to do
was kiss her but I wasn't brave enough for that either. Seconds of silence
ticked by while my brain struggled for something to say until finally she took
pity on me and decided to speak.
 
"Hey, can I tell you something?" she began, smiling. "I used to dream about you
too. Only vampires don't sleep so it was more like daydreaming. I'd be sitting
around, not doing anything, and after a while I'd find myself thinking of you.
I had no idea who you were or where I'd find you, all I knew was that you were
out there somewhere, waiting for me. And even though I could feel it in my
heart, part of me never believed it. The love I felt for you was so…complete,
so perfect. It felt to good to be true, and I never—"
 
I kissed her.
 
I'd been listening to her melodic voice in a trance, staring at her glossy pink
lips as they moved, and suddenly I leaned forward and captured them with my
own. I was helpless to do anything else and as soon as they touched I was
filled with a feeling of sweet euphoria. If I'd had any doubts at all about her
talk of soulmates—which I didn't—they were erased with that kiss. No regular
kiss could possibly feel so nice. This was truly magic.
 
The kiss lasted almost a full minute, us just sitting there with our lips
touching, no tongue, just tenderness. It wasn't like that other night, or like
in the girl's room this afternoon. It was soft, gentle. Almost chaste.
 
I was deathly afraid she'd pull away and tell me to slow down but she didn't.
She started kissing me back. Her hand cupped my cheek and she applied some
force against my mouth. I parted my lips and her tongue slipped past as if it
had been waiting. I shivered with its entrance and slowly the kiss changed. It
become hotter. More passionate. I pushed my tongue against hers, my eyes
rolling behind closed lids. I became aware that I was horny, a dull throbbing
between my legs. I moaned softly.
 
She was leaning into me and slowly I let her push me onto my back. My arms
wrapped around her and I felt her warm weight on top of me, one leg thrown
across my body possessively. One of my hands slipped up her top slightly to
caress her waist and her waist was so slight, so warm, so firm. It was just her
waist but touching her body was so exciting, so thrilling, that I was filled
with a peculiar sense of violation. It felt wrong, like touching an angel or a
goddess, something pure and beyond perfection that could only be defiled by
human hands. I broke the kiss and looked up at her timidly.
 
"Is this okay?" I asked, my hand frozen at her waist.
 
Her eyes were on fire and she wasn't smiling and the look she gave me was
anything but angelic.
 
"Shut up and fuck me," she growled.
 
Well.
 
If I wasn't horny before, I got a burst of it then.
 
She was kissing me again, her tongue becoming more and more aggressive. My hand
had snaked further up her top and I was stroking her back, feeling her lovely
skin. Her own hand had ventured up my tanktop and took a handful of my breast,
kneading it wantonly. Her thumb flicked over my hardened nipple and I shuddered
against her. She hissed in response and pinched the nipple. I gave a short
little squeal but clamped it down quickly, remembering that mom might still be
up. She pushed the top up over my breasts, squeezed, and captured the nipple
between her lips.
 
I moaned, squirming under her mouth. She suckled at the nipple and licked at it
and then she smothered my moans with her lips and started kissing me again,
groping my naked breast with her hand, squeezing, flicking the nipple with her
thumb.
 
Her jean clad crotch was rubbing against my thigh, the rough material almost
painful on my soft skin, and I was starting to get the impression that she was
getting frustrated. For a second it boggled my mind that she could be into me.
I was nothing compared to her. My body was okay, I guess, but nothing
particularly special. Nothing like her. Maybe it's just another of those
supernatural things, like the dreams or something.
 
Either way I was ready to give her want she wanted. I broke the kiss a second
time, breathless, and blinked up at her. "Do you want me to…?"
 
I let it trail off, the offer including pretty much anything she could possibly
think of, but she seemed too flustered to think of anything. "To what?" she
demanded impatiently, still gripping my naked breast.
 
"Um…" I swallowed, squirming slightly under her touch. She was looking at me
with sheer lust in her burning amber eyes and it was making my pussy wet. "Take
your clothes off?" I suggested.
 
"Hurry," she hissed.
 
I did my best to obey. I pulled off her top and she raised up, straddling my
hips. Her bra was red lace with the catch in the front and I almost wept when
she opened it and exposed her perky breasts. My timidness seem to vanish at the
sight of them and the hunger took me over. She tossed the bra to the side and I
had one of her nipples in my mouth before it had touched the ground, her
straddling my hips and me sitting up. She moaned pleasurably and held my face
to her chest, petting my hair.
 
"Yes," she whispered, a smile in her voice. "Keep going."
 
I stroked her breasts and alternated between one nipple and the other. Dimly I
wondered if this was making her as horny as it was making me. It was almost
uncomfortable, the lust between my legs.
 
I realized she was unbuttoning her jeans and suddenly I had a new craving. She
fell onto her back and pushed her jeans and her panties down, exposing her
pearly legs, but she couldn't get them off. Her shoes were in the way. She gave
an unladylike curse and solved the problem by quickly kicking them off, and
then she kicked off her jeans and pulled me on top of her.
 
Somewhere along the way I'd gotten rid of my nightrobe—I didn't remember
how—and now she pulled off my top. I kissed her, pressing my breasts into hers,
rubbing against her for the friction. I reached for her breast but she
intercepted my hand and put it between her legs.
 
"Please," she whimpered. "Now."
 
Like last time I had no idea what I was doing, but luckily I was in capable
hands. Literally. She guided my finger against her clit, using me to stroke
herself. She moaned, looking into my face with sweet euphoria. I went to kiss
her but she shook her head.
 
"Let me look at you," she whispered. "I want to look at you."
 
I nodded, blushing, my hair falling all about me, and she guided my hand
against her, rubbing it against the silky wetness between her legs. She poked
one of my fingers inside her folds, pushing it against her entrance.
 
"Two fingers," she breathed. "Don't be gentle."
 
I almost giggled at that last comment—so cute—but I decided I'd better focus
all my mental faculties on not passing out from excitement.
 
My hand was trembling and despite the warning I was very gentle. I eased two
fingers into her entrance and shivered at the heat and warmth in there. She
moaned and spread her legs wider. She was still holding my hand and she pushed
my fingers in further and then withdrew them and pushed them in again. I picked
up the rythymed and kept going by myself, her walls clenching on each thrust.
She released my hand and stroked my arm, smiling up at me, and then she took my
face in her hands and guided my mouth to one of her nipples.
 
I sucked on her quite eagerly and let my other hand knead her other breast. She
had such pretty breasts, so round and full. I suckled on her nipple and moved
onto the other one, and I got so distracted that I forgot I was supposed to be
fingering her. My fingers were just stuck there inside her and at first she
didn't say anything but then she giggled and bucked into my hand with her hips
to remind me.
 
I resumed thrusting into her and she moved her body into it, moaning
pleasurably.
 
"Keep going," she breathed. "Keep going."
 
I looked into her face. "Is it good?" I asked, wanting to be sure.
 
"Yes," she moaned. "It's perfect."
 
She was probably being nice but I felt a glow of pride nonetheless.
 
I went faster, trying to impress her. She smirked and took my hand, caressing
it as I plunged my fingers in and out, and with her other hand she pulled me
into a kiss. One of her legs wrapped around me and soon she stopped kissing and
started panting into my mouth, her chest heaving, her face flushed.
 
"Bella," she panted. "Bella."
 
It was building in her eyes, I could see it, and then it happened. She groaned
and clenched down on my fingers as she arched in orgasm. I watched her face,
utterly mesmerized by the pleasure passing over her pretty features, and my
heart almost broke from how beautiful she looked.
 
With a sigh, she rolled onto her side, away from me, curled up and lay there
catching her breath. I knelt at her side and waited patiently, not daring to
touch her, and then she rolled over and smiled at me and said:
 
"Come here."
 
I felt a surge of excitement at the command and with a smile of my own I
crawled into her arms and kissed her. She eased me onto my back and straddled
my hips. I was already on the brink of orgasm and she didn't make me wait very
long. Her hands cupped my breasts and her lips engulfed my hardened nipples,
one then the other, and she rubbed her body against mine, and then she
descended with kisses over my stomach until she was between my legs.
 
I was still wearing my shorts but she tugged both them and my panties down and
tossed them away. I was soaking wet underneath and without hesitating she
leaned and licked lovingly across my pussy, kissed it, licked again. She poked
her tongue into my entrance just a little and I whimpered and squirmed. She was
being very gentle and slowly she started teasing my nub with her thumb, very
gently, and she kissed at my mound and kissed at my clit, and already I could
feel it building inside me.
 
When I came I came hard, with a strangled moan. The climax burst behind my
eyelids and my face scrunched as I struggled to keep quiet. She eased the
orgasm away with a few more kisses and then her lips were gone.
 
I opened my eyes and sat up in a panic when I saw she was putting her jeans
back on.
 
"Wait, what are you doing?"
 
She looked over her bare shoulder as she buttoned them. Her eyes were hooded
and smoldering with hunger. "I can't stay," she said. "If I stay, I'm going to
bite you. And I can't do that. It would be too dangerous."
 
"But…"
 
But there was nothing to say. I'd never really had much self-respect, but I
learnt in that moment that I at least had enough not to beg my new vampire
girlfriend to put my life in danger by drinking my blood four days after a
transfusion. It was sad, but I really didn't want her to go. I wanted to keep
her forever.
 
She smiled and pulled her top on and then she came over and tucked me into the
bed. I went along wordlessly, staring at her face as she pulled the covers over
me. She brushed my brow and smiled again.
 
"So much for going slow, huh?"
 
I gave a little chuckle. She leaned and kissed me.
 
"We'll go slow starting tomorrow, okay?"
 
I wanted to object, but this going slow thing was obviously important to her,
so I nodded.
 
She turned and went to the window. I watched her. She hopped up onto the frame
and crouched there but before she dropped down I sat up in bed and called to
her.
 
"Wait," I whispered.
 
She turned to me, still crouched in the window frame.
 
"Will I see you again?" I asked.
 
She smirked and flickered her hungry eyes over me. "Sure," she said. "You've
got my number. Give me a call."
 
I nodded anxiously, still not happy, and she smiled, blew me a kiss, and then
she dropped down into the darkness outside.
 
Gone.
 
I bit my lip, and for a while I just sat there staring at the dark beyond the
window with my heart shredded in my chest, a mingled mess of love, lust, and
longing. I was frowning to myself and I missed her already, missed her
terribly, missed her so bad that I didn't think I'd even be able to fall
asleep. It's not fair. How could she tell me we're supposed to be together
forever and then just leave like that? Doesn't she know how cruel that is?
Maybe it wouldn't be such a problem if she wasn't so achingly cute, but she
was. She was amazing. And now she's gone.
 
I sniffed and lay down, curling up and pulling the covers over my shoulder. I
was almost crying and then I did start crying, just a little, a couple tears
that I quickly wiped away. It's not fair. Nothing made sense anymore. Over the
last few days my emotions had been flip flopping around so much that I could
hardly tell if I was dreaming or awake, sane or crazy, and now I was crying
because my vampire girlfriend—if I'm allowed to call her that—didn't want to
spend the night because she was afraid of killing me.
 
When did life get so complicated?
 
—
 
 
***** Chapter 3 *****
—

Chapter 3:

—

There was no biology on Friday which was probably a blessing in disguise. So
far Alice and I hadn't managed been to get through a single class without some
embarrassing incident, but maybe by Monday thing's will have simmered down
enough for us to sit side by side for an hour without attacking each other.

That day I only saw her in short bursts. True to her word she was waiting by my
locker in the morning, smiling with her books in her arms. I was blushing
within ten feet and stuttering when I said hi. My fingers fumbled with the
lock, trying not to stare at her. She offered a general apology about last
night and I told her to forget about it. I was cool by the morning and mostly
just embarrassed about being so clingy.

I had been ashamed of my behavior all morning and I had decided over breakfast
that I was going to stop being such a pathetic love-sick puppy. I was going to
grow a backbone and stop letting my emotions control me. I was going to take
control of my feelings and stop letting them control (and embarrass) me. I was
going to be an adult and let the relationship progress naturally without all
these unreasonable expectations. In short, I was going to stop letting her turn
me into a weepy mess with nothing more than her mere presence.

None of these resolutions lasted very long, of course, but at least I'd had the
presence of mind to make them. She walked me to homeroom and my heart soared as
she kissed me on the cheek discreetly. Then it broke all over again as she
walked away. The halls were empty and before she turned the corner she paused
and waved with her beautiful smile. I waved back and mentally kicked myself at
how my heart soared all over again.

I pouted through homeroom and pouted through history and math. Not even
Lauren's hurtful bullying could cheer me up. I kept watch for Alice in the
halls but I never saw her again till lunch. She was sitting with her sisters at
a table by themselves, as usual. I tried not to stare and failed miserably.
Alice seemed to have the same difficulty, her eyes flickering over me and
flickering away, dropping to the tabletop and lifting again. At one point she
smiled at me and my heart went for it's second soaring. Then Lauren threw an
empty milk carton at my face and ruined the moment.

The last time I saw her was after school. Again, she was waiting by my locker,
and again she walked with me for a little bit before kissing me on the cheek
and disappearing, reminding me to give her a call sometime.

Ah yes.

A call.

It sounded so simple, to call a girl and…what? That's the part I kept tripping
over. It's easy enough to tell someone to call you, but what is the person in
question supposed to say? Am I supposed to ask her out? Or just chat? And when?
Today, tomorrow, next week? Or was she just being polite and not really
expecting me to call at all? Or am I overthinking things as usual and maybe I
should just mentally shut up and call her?

Difficult questions and no definite answers. In many ways it was a particularly
cruel move of her, to give me her number like that. It's nice that she was
trying to give me some degree of control over the relationship, but control
really isn't my thing. If I wanted to be the dominant one of the relationship
I'd cut my hair and put on a tie. In all honesty, I have no objection at all to
being the submissive one, and considering the caliber of the girlfriend in
question, it's probably the wiser choice. The girl's a vampire, for god sake. I
should be calling her mistress, not fretting over whether or not to ask her
out.

Whenever I'm ready, she'd said last night. It was a nice thought, but with only
a couple minutes interaction at school every day I wasn't likely to be ready
for quite a while. I needed to spend some time with her, to get comfortable
with her in casual situations. I needed a date, and I'd been hoping all day
that maybe she'd ask me out sometime over the weekend, but she seemed
determined to keep the ball in my court. Asking her out face to face was
impossible—I was lucky not to pass out face to face—but maybe I could do it
over the phone. I'd just call her and say…

Um…

Honestly, I had no idea. When I got home after school I spent a lot of time
thinking about it but I couldn't think of anything. Obviously I'd say hi, but
beyond that? Who knows. What if I interrupt her in the middle of something
important? What if she doesn't feel like talking right then?

It was all so bewildering. I'd never thought I'd ever get a girlfriend in
highschool, and now I had this girl, this perfect girl, who had given me her
number and told me to call her. A girl who said I was her soulmate or
something. And I'm not sure how soulmates work exactly, but they generally say
yes when you ask them out, right? Cuz part of me was still in doubt over that.
I'd only ever asked out one girl in my life and naturally it was a total
disaster. I was too young to know how different I was, but Lauren knew, and
since then she'd been very vocal in pointing it out.

By the time I'd gotten home I still didn't know what I should do, but the
prospect of not seeing Alice all weekend was too bleak to consider. I decided
to call her and see if she wanted to get together. Just to hang out or
something. No reason she should say no, right? Soulmate and all.

It was about nine when I decided to call. A bit late maybe, but I didn't want
to interrupt her when she was eating—that is, if vampire's even eat. I'd seen
her eat as school but not with much enthusiasm, as if the lunch were just a
prop.

I'd been pacing my room for about half an hour, trying to work up the courage,
and finally I hit the dial button. I put the phone to my ear and bit my lip,
already worried she wouldn't answer. But she did. The dial tone stopped and:

"Hello?"

The sound of her voice caused me to dropped the phone. I'd never heard it over
the phone before and for some reason this struck me as significant. I scrabbled
to pick up the phone and stuck it to my ear.

"Um, hi," I blurted. "It's me. Um, Bella."

"Yes, I know," came her smiling voice. "I was wondering when you'd call."

"Yeah," I said awkwardly. "I, uh…"

Suddenly I forgot why I was calling. I was gonna ask her out, wasn't I? But do
I do it now? Or do we talk first?

"Well, I was calling because you, um, gave me your number… and, well…"

"Yes?"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to… You know. Go out sometime? On a date,
maybe?"

"I'd love to. When?"

Fuck.

On one hand it was great she said yes. On the other hand I had no fucking idea
when. Wait, weekend. Tomorrow?

"Um, well, how about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow sounds perfect. Where are we going?"

Double fuck.

I hadn't thought this far ahead. How the fuck do I know where? I've never been
on a date in my life. I'd never even seen that many dates on TV. Most of my
entertainment comes from books and most of them were written about two hundred
years ago before dating had even been invented yet.

I was speaking before I knew what I was saying. "Um, I don't know."

Oh great. Way to sound like an idiot.

I heard a sound on the other line that might've been a stifled giggle.

"Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out," she said. "How shall we meet?"

It just keeps getting worse, doesn't it? Am I allowed to ask her to pick me up,
or does that kind of defeat the purpose of asking her out to begin with? Maybe
I could borrow mom's car. It's probably my best bet at not looking like a
loser.

"I'll, uh, pick you up. Is that okay?"

"I didn't think you had a car."

"I'll borrow my moms."

"Oh. Okay, well, you'll be needing my address then, won't you? Do you have a
pen?"

"Um, hold on."

I scrabbled at my desk like a maniac, almost dropping the phone again, and tore
open my note book and grabbed a pen.

"Okay, go on."

Her beautiful voice recited the address and naturally the pen wouldn't work. I
stabbed the paper, did some squiggles, and finally got some ink flowing. I
scribbled down the address in my awful hand writing and swallowed.

"Okay, got it," I said. "Thanks."

"Great," she chirped. "It's a date."

Panic.

I don't know why, but hearing the word date from her—from a girl who was
talking to me—threw me into a fit of anxiety, and I started babbling before I
even knew what I was babbling about.

"O-oh, we don't have to call it a date if you don't want," I stuttered. "If you
wanted to be just friends, or if you weren't really into me like that, I mean,
um…"

My face was on fire with embarrassment and I was pressing a palm into my
forehead. If I could've pressed it hard enough to squeeze my brain out of my
ears I would've. How stupid can a person be?

This was a girl who had reminded me to call at least three times, sent dozens
of romantic signals—including a kiss on the cheek—and who had just willingly
agreed to go out with me on a date. And if all that was obvious enough she had
also crawled through my bedroom window and eaten me alive on two separate
occasions. Why in the name of god was I asking her if she wanted to be just
friends?

Alice, however, took mercy on me, and didn't call me a moron and hang up. There
was a moment of silence—probably as she questioned fate's decision to pair
herself with a goofy bitch like me—and then she cleared her throat daintily.

"I'd prefer it to be a date," she said in a gentle tone, the kind of voice one
would use with children or mental defectives.

I nodded, still squeezing my eyes shut in humiliation. "Okay," I said. "It's a
date." And then, because I truly am the stupidest girl in the world, I added:
"Are you sure?"

She openly giggled at that. "Oh, I'm positive," she said. "In fact, I'd love
nothing more."

I felt an insane thrill at her words and almost slapped my chest to get my
heart to shut up. I strove for casualness. "Okay," I said, my voice trembling
only slightly. "Well, um…see you tomorrow."

I was about to hang up, but she said: "Wait!"

"Yeah?"

"You never said when you'll be picking me up."

"Oh shit," I said, panicking all over again. "Um…"

"Tell you what," Alice said, coming to my rescue. "why don't you just come over
whenever you're ready? I'll be waiting, okay?"

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay. Thanks."

"No problem. See you tomorrow, Bella."

I felt a jolt as she said my name. I tried to work up the courage to say hers,
failed, and said:

"Um, yeah. Bye."

I hung up and froze on the spot, there in the middle of my room, phone in hand.
My mind was trying to catch up with what I'd just done but I still couldn't
believe it. I had a date with Alice tomorrow, but I didn't know where, what
time, or what the hell she enjoys doing, and in addition to these concerns I
also had very little money and nothing to wear.

This might've been a mistake.

Cursing under my breath, I threw open my closet and took a quick inventory,
hoping something fashionable might've spontaneously manifested overnight. But
there was nothing. Crappy pants, crappy tops. There were even a few articles in
there that I'd had since middle school, things that wouldn't even fit any more,
especially across the chest. I'd gotten bigger in recent years.

"Oh god, this was a bad idea," I said worriedly, already predicting disaster.
"Look at this shit…"

But I didn't want to look, and in a sudden fit of anger I slammed shut the
closet and kicked it.

"Fuck!"

Almost instantly mom's voice came from downstairs.

"Bella, what's going on up there?"

"Nothing!"

She didn't believe me, or mind her own business. I heard footsteps coming up
the stairs and then her head popped through the door.

"Everything okay, sweetie?"

No, it wasn't okay. I didn't think it through and now I'm fucked. Well, maybe
that was a slight exaggeration, but still. It wasn't looking good.

"I'm fine," I told her. Then I remembered the car. "Hey, mom?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Do you think I could borrow the car tomorrow?"

"What for?"

"No reason. It's very important."

I almost cringed at myself. How much sense did that make?

Mom didn't get it either but she could see it was important to me. "Well, I
suppose you could. Where are you going?"

"I don't know," I almost moaned in despair. I gave the closet another kick.
"Fuck!"

Mom looked at me weirdly. "Are you okay, honey? You're acting very strange."

I took a breath. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? If you want I could give you a ride tomorrow and pick you up
whenever you were done. I don't mind."

I waved the offer away. "It's okay, it's nothing important."

"I thought it was very important?"

"Nah, I was just gonna do some shopping and hang out with a friend, that's
all."

"Oh. So you'll need it all day?"

"Yeah," I nodded. I gave her a smile in an attempt to appear sane. "Thanks,
mom."

—

Tomorrow morning I managed to wheedle some money out of mom for some new
clothes—cold weather and all—and then I drove into town for the purpose of
obtaining something to wear that would make me look less like a refugee and
more like a the slightly attractive young woman that I am.

There was only one clothes shop I knew, and I only knew it because Lauren and
them were always talking about it. It was the shop Angela's mom owned, a small
fashion boutique that apparently had great prices. I knew Angela worked there
part time but I was still surprised to see her behind the counter when I walked
in. I thought she only worked after school some days.

I almost turned around and walked out again. Angela was okay and I wasn't
worried about her teasing me about buying new clothes, but she might mention it
to Lauren, and Lauren I was worried about. The bitch didn't need any more ammo
against me, she had plenty already.

Unfortunately Angela looked up at the sound of the door and saw me standing
there, a small frown crossing her face. She'd been leaning on the counter
reading a magazine and at my entrance she closed the magazine and straightened
up. As if something curious had just walked in, like a bear on two feet.

"Hey, Bella," she said, friendly enough. "What are you doing here?"

I shrugged, letting the door swing shut. "Just came to buy a couple a things,
that's all."

Angela looked around doubtfully as if there might not be anything in stock for
someone like me.

"Well, okay," she said. "Let me know if you see anything."

I nodded with a quick smile and disappeared behind a display of jeans.

And then I was browsing. Rodent-like among the racks, half crouched and moving
quietly with stealth. Angela had gone back to her magazine but I was still
eager to avoid attention. I had bigger problems to worry about, anyway. I had
to impress Alice, or at the very least I had to not make her regret being seen
in public with me.

But how exactly do you impress a supernaturally gorgeous vampire? How could I
possibly compete?

I don't know, but something told me a tight top might help. Not many girls my
age have the option of cleavage—Lauren in particular is flat as a pancake—so I
should probably take advantage of it. But is Alice even into that?

I shook my head, realizing how little I really knew about her. Vampire stuff
aside, she was still a huge mystery. Is she even gay? Or is it just me? If it's
just me then cleavage probably wouldn't help. Hell, even if she was gay I doubt
cleavage would help. Women don't seem to be into big boobs for some reason. I
like them, but I'm the first to admit I'm a total pervert. If she was gay I'd
probably have the most luck with a well-toned midriff, according to popular
cliché. Which I don't have, of course. I'm thin, sure, but the only sit ups
I've ever done are the ones I do getting out of bed every morning.

I sighed. Why does it have to be so confusing? I wish there were some social
guidelines for these kinds of situations like they had in Victorian England but
I had no idea what the ladies were wearing this season to attend social
appointments with lesbian vampires who lust erotically after your flesh and
blood. Underwear was probably optional but beyond that nothing seemed a la
mode. In the end I let good sense guide me, and compiled the cheapest outfit I
could find that seemed cute enough to pass for date-worthy. It was all very
simple stuff and the only article I was truly skeptical about was the skirt.

Yes. A skirt.

I hated skirts, always have, always will. But it was marked down over half
price and still very expensive, so I was assuming it was a massive bargain. It
was denim and pleated and it would've looked pretty on any other girl. On me?
Who could tell. There was change rooms in the back of the store but I'd never
been a fan of taking off my clothes in public, even in private. They only had
one skirt left anyway, and it was in my size, so I figured I might as well get
it. I'd almost burst a blood vessel trying to convince myself I'd look okay in
it, and it was expensive, which had to count for something, right?

I don't know. I was very insecure about everything but I bought it all over to
the counter nonetheless. Angela closed her magazine and looked everything over,
checking the prices.

"Hey, not bad." She lifted the skirt and gave me a skeptical look. "You do
realize this is a skirt, right?"

"Yeah, I noticed," I muttered.

"Just checking," she chuckled. "Never seen you in a skirt before, that's all."

I frowned, my stomach twisting. Great, this is exactly what I needed. Maybe
there was still time to change it. "Do you think I'd look stupid?"

Angela was the only person I'd feel comfortable asking a question like that but
her answer wasn't exactly encouraging.

"Hard to say," she shrugged. "I thought you're supposed to be butch?"

I scowled. Where the hell did that come from? "Who said that?"

She shrugged again, scanning the labels on the clothes. "I don't know. You're
always wearing drab clothes and you don't really take care of your hair, so I
figured you know…"

I shouldn't have been so hurt, but I was. I thought my hair was good? Since
when is that the definition of butch, anyway?

"Whatever," I muttered. "How much is it?"

She saw that she'd offended me and she seemed sorry but she didn't apologize.
Which was alright, I guess. Best to just forget about it.

"Seventy eight bucks," she said.

I winced and handed over the cash. Almost a hundred bucks for a top, a skirt,
and a belt that I didn't even need. I thought dating's supposed to be fun?

"Here," I said, handing over the money.

She smiled. "Thanks," she said, ringing it up in the cash register. "So, what's
with the new clothes anyway?" she asked conversationally. "You got a date or
something?"

I frowned, suspicious as a double agent in Nazi territory. "No," I denied, a
little too loudly. "I just needed some new stuff, that's all."

Angela noticed my overreaction but didn't say anything. "If you say so. Here's
your change."

"Thanks."

"No problem," Angela said cheerfully. "Come again sometime, alright? We get new
stock all the time. Best prices in town."

I nodded, never planning to come back ever, and then I got the hell out of
there.

Before I went home I drove to the hair dresser's and wasted an other ten bucks
on a trim. My mom had been badgering me about split ends for over a month and
if mom could notice them Alice could too. It was only after the hair cut that I
realized Alice would probably also notice that I got a hair cut and therefore
may conclude that I was trying too hard. It wasn't like I could buy my hair
back, though, so I tried not to let it bother me.

I went to a shoe store and browsed around but I didn't see anything worth the
money, and lastly I went to the department store and shoplifted a plain black
thong, which demonstrated exactly how irrationally my state of mind had become.
Not only have I never shoplifted before—never even been tempted—but even if I
did get lucky tonight, did I really want to be caught wearing a thong? I might
as well write the word slut across my forehead with pink lipstick while I'm at
it.

By the time I got home I was regretting pretty much everything I'd bought.
Instead of looking like a poorly dressed loser, I was going to look like a try-
hard loser. In a thong. God, I'm an idiot.

I explained to mom that I wouldn't be home for dinner and naturally she wanted
to know where I'd be eating. I told her pizza and I had a feeling that would
turn out to be true. I had no idea what vampires eat—or if they ate at all—but
pizza was the safest thing I could think of. All teenagers like pizza, right?

My heart grew heavier in my chest as it got darker outside, the date drawing
near. I was close to canceling or pretending I was sick, but finally I grew
some metaphorical balls and showered and got changed. The top was black and
sleeveless—with a sequined star between the breasts—and I was going to be
pretty cold in it but I didn't bother with a jacket since all I had was a cheap
black hoody that would've made me look like a homeless crack addict.

I donned my new skirt with a feeling close to shame. It felt like a betray of
some kind. So many years of pants and now this. Is that what I've sunk too? A
skirt-wearer? What's next, cheerleading? I couldn't even remember the last time
I'd worn a skirt. Must've been when I was a kid, back before I could think for
myself.

But as hard as it was to wear a skirt, the thong was even harder. It took a
while but eventually I managed to get it on, despite the second thoughts that
swirled in my stomach like a tornado. I had no idea if I wanted to get lucky in
this thing or not tonight, but if I did, I'd simply have to put my faith in
Alice's ability to appreciate a little sluttyness.

And to prove exactly how far my self-respect had fallen, I even put on some
makeup. My mom had bought me a well stocked makeup kit when I was twelve. She'd
tried to teach me how to use it but gave up when I showed no interest. I've
always found that makeup looks best on other girls. Still, in the interest of
impressing Alice, I demeaned myself to crack open the dusty kit and apply a
thin layer, a bit of concealer, a bit of color, a bit of gloss, just like mom
had taught me all those years ago when I was still sulking from the misfortune
of asking out another girl. Makeup wouldn't have help back then, but hopefully
it would cause Alice to be able to look at me without cringing.

I looked myself over in the bathroom with a vague feeling of hope. I'd was
wearing mascara and my eyes actually looked pretty sexy, even to me. I batted
them slightly and smiled. My cheeks were rosy and the zit on my forehead was
completely concealed. Maybe makeup's pretty cool, after all. I just hoped
there's no expiry date on this stuff. Some of it was four years old, for god's
sake. What if I break out into a rash? What if my face melts off in a corrosive
horror show over dinner? Jeez, as if I didn't have enough to worry about.

When I was ready, I went back in my room for my phone and checked the time. It
was about seven and I decided to call Alice and let her know I was coming. I
didn't want to ambush her or anything. It took over ten minutes to settle my
anxiety to the point where I could talk, but finally I hit dial, and managed
not to drop the phone when she answered. I asked her if it would be okay if I
came over in about half an hour and she said that would be perfect. She then
said she was really looking forward to seeing me and I almost burst into tears
of joy. I had no idea why my company was so delightful to her but it was
angelic of her to say so.

My warm glow of vanity vanished as soon as I went downstairs, replaced by fear
of what mom will say to about my outfit. She was in the kitchen and I attempted
to say goodbye without letting her look at me, a doomed effort with a mother
like mine.

"Hey, mom, I'm gonna get going, so—"

"Wait, wait, let me hug you goodbye!"

I sagged in the doorway, half out, not quite. She was standing at the stove
where something was boiling—pasta probably—and she wiped her hands on a
dishtowel, turned, and lit up in surprise when she saw me.

"Bella, wow!" She grinned. "Look at you, you look amazing!"

I blushed. Moms are biased but she seemed genuine. "Thanks."

"But I don't understand," she added. "I thought you were just hanging out with
a friend?"

"I am."

She grinned and flapped the towel at me. "Oh, sure you are. Just a friend, huh?
And what's this friend's name?"

I shrugged, trying to be casual. "Alice," I said, my voice hitching on her
name. I hoped it wasn't noticeable. "She's my labpartner."

Mom's grin slowly faded. "O-oh," she said, and I could tell she'd sensed
something weird. She covered the awkwardness with a chuckle. "Silly me, I
thought you were meeting a boy you liked. A boy you were friends with but
secretly liked or something. Because, you know. You're wearing your hair down.
And a skirt."

"No, it's just a friend," I said, with a noble effort at naturalness. "We're
just hanging out. We'll probably see a movie or something, you know…"

"And have dinner together?" she asked quietly. She was still drying her hands
with the dishtowel even though they were already dry.

Yep. Definitely, suspicious.

I blushed, shrugging my shoulder. "Well, it's just pizza. And we gotta eat,
right?"

"I suppose," she allowed. Then she pointed at my face awkwardly. "Is that
makeup?"

I couldn't deny this one. I couldn't think of any excuse either, so I just
shrugged again, and said: "Yeah, well… You know."

She nodded, as if she understood, doubt written all over her face. "Well, have
fun, sweetie. But don't you think you should take a jacket? You're going to be
cold like that."

My shoulders and all of my arms were bare and even the material covering my
torso was pretty thin. Truthfully, I was already cold, even in the house, but I
wanted to look my best, which meant not wearing a sweater or some cheap hoody
I'd had for over a year.

I shrugged away her concern. "I'll be alright," I said. "I like the cold."

"If you say so. Are you meeting other friends or is it just this one girl?"

"Actually, yeah," I said, leaping at the lifeline, wondering why I'd never
thought of it. "We're meeting Lauren and them at the movies, so it's gonna be a
whole bunch of us."

She didn't seem particularly convinced, still drying her hands absently, but
she smiled. "I see," she said. "Well, that's good. I'll see you later, then.
Don't be too late, okay?"

"Yeah. See you, mom."

"See you, sweetie."

Ten minutes later I was in the car and driving to Alice's place, mentally
punching myself for being so obvious with mom. But what else could I do? Put my
stuff in a backpack and get change at a service station somewhere?

Did I lie to mom? I didn't plan too, I was just reacting question by question.
I hadn't planned to tell her I was dating a girl, of course, but I hadn't set
out to hide it, either. Not really.

I kept driving, now frowning to myself. For the first time in my life I found
myself seriously questioning my closeted status. It had never been a problem
before, since there was no repression—nor opportunity—but now I've lied to mom.
About something kind of important. She'd always been interested in my life and
I was sure she'd be overjoyed to find out I had a date. Even with a girl.

Right?

Who knows. People are weird with homosexuality, I see it every day in school.
Lauren used to be one of my best friends, for god's sake. Now she's my primary
tormenter. Could something similar happen to mom? Right now she was my best
friend in the whole the world, but if she knew I was gay, would she turn
against me like everyone else? Probably not, but how can I be sure? She'd never
disown me or anything melodramatic like that, but it was bound to cause some
awkwardness. She isn't the most intelligent woman on the plant and she is kind
of small-minded. She's also pretty traditional, a big believer in the joys of
marriage and kids and domestic bliss. Then again, she's also divorced, so what
the hell would she know?

Oh, whatever. Who cares? Mom would accept me no matter what, so why bother
worrying about it? The worst part would be telling her, but that can wait.

Because I was getting closer to Alice's place, and my thoughts were beginning
to bend in a new direction. At first I wondered about practical things, like
whether or not vampire's eat. I should've asked over the phone, but I guess I'm
not as smart as I give myself credit for. Then again, I can't blame myself.
Alice's cuteness—even over the phone—would have a disabling effect on any
girl's cognitive functions.

But what about pizza? Suddenly I was having doubts. If vampires do eat, maybe
pizza was a stupid choice, considering garlic was a key ingredient. God, how
could I be so insensitive? Maybe they have pizza without garlic. But what about
the smell in the air, what if even the aroma of garlic is harmful to them? I'll
have to ask her on the way. I'm probably being stupid, anyway. It's only old
vampire's who are allergic to garlic. Modern vampires are usually cool with it.
It would be pretty lame if she was weak to a vegetable. It wouldn't stop me
from liking her, of course, but still. Pretty lame.

Alice lived in a stately house just outside town, down a dark road that wound
through the woods. I tried not to feel nervous but it was hard. Not only was I
anxious about the date but now I was anxious about driving out to a house full
of vampires in the middle of woods. What if the date was just ploy to get me
out here so they could drain me and bury me in the forest? I knew in my heart
Alice would never do that, but when you're driving down a dark road with only
dark trees visible in the windows, you gotta wonder.

The house was sited on a rise overlooking the road, a stately mansion with a
gravel drive. I parked on the curb and killed the engine. It actually looked
very warm and homey, with red brick walls and yellow light in the windows. It
looked like somewhere a happy family might live. There was no ring of skulls on
the front lawn in the shape of a hexagon or anything like that.

Well, this is it, I told myself. My first date…

I got out the car, my heart pounding, and started toward the house. The cold
wind swept over my bare shoulders and instantly fucked up my hair. Typical.
This is why I wear the stupid stuff in a ponytail.

I frowned, tucking my hair behind my ears, and I continued on toward the front
door, crunching down the long gravel drive. They must be rich, I realized. And
Alice was my soulmate. Does that mean I get half? Nah, we'd probably have to
get married first and she'd probably dump me by then. I wouldn't even blame
her. Chick like her deserves the absolute best. A clone of herself, for
instance.

The front door was ornate oak with a brass knocker. I paused and took a deep
breath. I was about to see Alice and that required some mental preparation. I
wonder what she'll be wearing? Jeans, I hope. The tighter the better. We'd
known each other less than a week and my feelings were still superficial enough
to be mostly directed at her ass, naturally enough. It was an amazing ass and
it would probably be some time before my admiration for her personality
outweighed it.

I went to knock and realized there was also a door bell. Dilemma. Which to
choose? Was my personality best expressed through the use of the knocker,
something loud and assertive, or would a bell be more appropriate, something
calm and elegant? In my frazzled state of mind, it actually seemed like an
important decision. Boy, dates are hard. Should I have bought flowers? Fuck! No
flowers and I can't even knock on the goddamn door. I'm so pathetic. I should
just slink back to my car and drive away and while I'm at it I might as well
drive off a fucking cliff because I'm obviously to stupid to live and—

I pressed the door bell.

Immediately I regretted it although I had no idea what else I could've done.
This whole thing was such a stupid idea. What made me think I was ready for a
date with a goddess? Look at me, I'm falling apart and I haven't even seen her.
Maybe I should hide, she'll think it was just a prank. But I already called and
told her I'll be here. God, I never should've called so soon. She had even told
me not to rush. She'd said specifically to call whenever I was ready. But then
she had reminded me at school, hadn't she? Was she as eager for a date as I am?
Or is that just wishful thinking? Maybe she—

The door swung open.

It was Alice that had opened it.

And she looked amazing.

She was silhouetted against the warm yellow light in the foyer behind her and
she was wearing a cream-colored summerdress of some thin material that clung to
her body perfectly. She was wearing light makeup, lip gloss, blush, mascara,
and she was wearing heeled sandals with clear glitter-polish on her toenails.
The dress was sleeveless and her shoulders and arms were bare. The skirt
reached to her knees and belled about her legs cutely. She didn't seem to be
wearing a bra and her breasts fit snuggly in the dipping neckline. Her entire
body was flattered by the dress and she looked utterly amazing.

It was the first time I'd seen her dressed for anything other than school. This
was date-Alice. This was Alice—a girl who was already supernaturally pretty—all
prettied up. And as soon as I laid eyes on her my heart instantly began to ache
with longing.

She smiled at me with her glossy lips. Her black hair was in it's usual bob and
she had a butterfly hairclip pinning some of it back. I'd seen her with the
same hairclip before. It must be a favorite of hers. She smiled at me and
cocked her head cutely as she often did.

"Hi," she said.

I was staring opened mouthed. My voice came out hollow with shock and awe.
"Hi…"

She giggled and the giggle snapped me out of it slightly. She looked me over
and grinned. "Wow, Bella, you look beautiful. I love you're hair, you should
always wear it down. It's beautiful."

I blushed. My hair was flickering in the wind and I pushed some of it behind my
ear shyly. "Thanks."

"What about me?" she asked, twirling on the spot with her skirt flaring. "Don't
I look cute? I wasn't sure what to wear because I wasn't sure where we were
going but I love this old thing. Casual but pretty, right?"

I had no words that could possibly communicate how amazing beautiful she was in
my eyes. I just grinned goofily and said: "Yeah."

She smiled, happy with my reply. "It's not really something you'd wear in cold
weather," she went on, "but I don't feel the cold. What about you? Will you be
cold?"

"Nah, I'm okay."

She nodded and smiled. "Good," she said. "You've got nice shoulders. And if you
get cold, I'll just put my arm around you, deal?"

"Sure," I gushed.

She giggled then clapped her hands together. "Hey, listen," she said. "Before
we go, do you mind if I introduce you to my family? I'm always talking about
you and they'd all love to meet you."

I hesitated just a second. I'd seen Alice's sisters at school and they were
sexy as hell. The idea of meeting them seemed a bit intimidating but I couldn't
refuse Alice.

"Um, sure," I said. "I'd love to."

"Great!" she chirped. "Come on."

She held the door open and I stepped passed her and inside. She closed the door
and then she took my arm, my skin tingling at the contact, and led me into the
kitchen.

It looked like a scene similar to the one I'd left at home. A woman in a
kitchen, obviously preparing dinner. Only this kitchen was way bigger and more
high tech and the woman at the stove looked like a supermodel posing for some
cooking magazine. She had her caramel-colored hair pinned up behind her head
and she was wearing an apron around her full and womanly figure. I had to make
a conscious effort not to check her out.

"Hey, Esme," Alice said, leading me in by the arm. "Look who's finally here to
pick me up for my date."

The woman turned to me and of course she was incredibly beautiful. I'd always
liked older women, and even though she was still fairly young—mid twenties
maybe—she had a warmth and maturity in her smile that made me glow inside just
a little. She wasn't as pale as Alice, a little more tan, but she had the same
supernatural beauty.

"Hello, Bella," the woman said warmly. "It's nice to finally meet you. Alice
talks of nothing else."

I nodded, almost bowing. "Thanks."

"You've already met my husband Carlisle. It's a shame you had to meet under
such circumstances but I was happy to hear you've fully recovered from…well."

She let it trail off with a pointed look at Alice. She was referring to the
night when Alice had bit my neck and drained my blood after a night of hot sex
so it was understandable why she didn't say it out loud. I blushed
uncomfortably at the mere allusion.

"Mom," Alice admonished. Then she turned to me, still holding my arm. "Esme's
practically our mother," she said. "We call her mom sometimes because she
insists on acting like one."

I nodded, startled that Alice was so close. Every admiration I had had for the
older woman vanished instantly as soon as I looked at Alice. Looking into her
face it seemed impossible that I'd ever thought anything else could be
beautiful.

"Come on," Alice said, tugging me away gently, "the others are in the living
room."

She led me into the living room where a fire was lit in the fire place and
there was a collection of young women lounging about the room in various
attitudes. I recognized them all from school and realized these were Alice's
so-called sisters. They all looked up as Alice and I entered and suddenly I was
very uncomfortable. Like walking into a lion's den, only with really hot lions.

"Hey, guys," Alice announced. "This is Bella."

They received this news without much enthusiasm. Some of them smiled. Some of
them shared glances. The TV—an enormous plasma—was on and someone was playing
some shooting game, the introduction punctuated by gunshots and explosions. I
looked for a controller and saw it in the hands of a small blonde that reminded
me of Alice a little. She was lounging against one of her sisters on the sofa,
the native American one. Alice motioned at the pair of them first.

"Bella," she said, "This is Jane and Leah."

The native American one, Leah, tossed her chin at me. "Hey," she said simply.
She didn't smile but she didn't seem unfriendly. More wary.

I nodded back timidly. Like all the Cullens she was very beautiful, but her
beauty was less refined and more wild, with shoulder length black hair that
fell about her face and shoulders. She was pale but her skin was a lovely
copper-color which gave her a very exotic complexion. Her eyes were dark, very
dark, and they were slanted like a wolf's. She was wearing black boots and
baggy black jeans and she was wearing a black tanktop and there was an
intricate tribal tattoo on one shoulder. She had a look of raw sexuality about
her, like someone who'd be really confident in bed. You could tell just by
looking at her.

The other one, the blonde named Jane, was leaning back into Leah with Leah's
arm around her waist possessively. They looked very intimate. Too intimate for
sisters, almost. She had straight blonde hair—like Lauren's but far
glossier—and a pretty porcelain face like Alice, only sharper, more regal. She
was wearing a pink top with love hearts on it and she was wearing a denim skirt
similar to the one I was wearing. She gave me a smile without pausing the game.

"Hi," she said. She flickered her eyes over me up and down before going back to
the TV. "Nice skirt."

I blushed. "T-thanks."

Alice smiled and motioned to the other two.

"And these lovely ladies are Rosalie and Victoria."

I looked at them and wondered if there was a fire extinguisher handy to put out
my blush. They were easily the two sexiest women I'd ever seen. I'd never seen
them up close at school—they were seniors—but they were truly amazing.

The one named Rosalie was blonde, with long platinum hair that cascaded in
waves about her shoulders, and a face that could break your heart just by
looking at it. She was pale and her features were very cold and very beautiful.
She was looking at me with an apathy that was almost hostile and I didn't dare
say anything. I didn't even dare stare. She looked like the kind of woman who'd
rip your face off for looking at her wrong and I didn't want to take the
chance, no matter how completely gorgeous she was.

The other one, Victoria, had flaming red hair that fell wildly all over her
pale shoulders. She had sexy green eyes, cat-like in their shape and
expression, but the most striking thing about her was her breasts. They were
very large and displayed very prominently in a skimpy red tubetop. Her legs
were also very exposed. She wore a black miniskirt and knee-high black boots
and her legs were crossed, one over the other, and they were perfectly white
and perfectly smooth-looking. She looked a little trashy but she wore it
extremely well.

The most provocative thing about the two of them, though, was how they were
sitting. They were seated on the same couch, so close their hips were touching,
and like their sisters they were lounging in each other's arms lazily. It was
hard not to think what a awesome couple they'd make, sitting so close like
that.

The redhead seemed friendlier than the blonde. She looked her over and smirked.
"Bella," she said. "Hm. Nice to meet you."

I tried smiling politely. "You too," I said stupidly.

The red head arched an eyebrow in something like surprise. As if it had been
ridiculous of me to say it was nice meet to her because such a thing was
expected and implied without words. She had a point. Who wouldn't feel
privileged to witness something so sexy?

My throat was closing up from embarrassment and I was hoping Alice would take
me away now—I still had a whole date to live through—when a small black cat
crossed the room and jumped up on the coffee table and looked up at me without
curiosity.

"And this little girl," Alice said, releasing my arm to pick up the cat. "Is
Fang. Isn't she cute?"

Alice held the cat in her arms and stroked it's head.

I smiled. "Fang?"

Cool name for a cat owned by a family of vampires. Or maybe it's kind of lame.
It depends if Alice named her or not.

Alice smiled. "It's because she has sharp teeth and she bites a lot," she said.
"Go ahead, try to pet her."

I reached for the cat slowly. It followed my hand with it's eyes and when it
was within reach it nipped at me silently. I jerked my hand away, grinning.

Alice smiled and kissed the vicious thing on it's head. "Bad girl," she
whispered. Then she set it down on the coffee table and smiled at me. "Come
on," she said, taking my arm. "we should go."

"Okay." And not knowing what to do, I did something stupid in an attempt to be
friendly; I waved at Alice's sisters. "Um, see you."

None of them replied, they just shared glances. I didn't get the impression
that they liked me.

Alice led me outside and smiled apologetically as she closed the door behind
us.

"Sorry about that," she said. "No one's quite sure how to act around you
because they're quite sure what's going on between us. But I thought it would
be nice if you met them. Now you can talk to them at school if you want."

I doubted it but smiled anyway. "Are any of you guys really sisters?"

"No," Alice said, as we crunched down the gravel drive toward the car. "None of
us are genetically related but we've been together for a very long time. We
simulate a family unit for convenience, but also because, well…we love each
other."

I nodded as if I understood but I didn't. They love each other, sure, but what
kind of family love includes lounging in each other's arms as if it's the most
natural thing in the world? Maybe it's a vampire thing. Maybe even some human
sisters are like that too, who knows?

Still, you can't help but wonder. A bunch of female vampire's all living
together and—ahem—loving each other so much. Maybe they're all having sex? I
mean, you gotta wonder, right? If I didn't get lucky tonight at least I had
some fresh fantasy material.

We'd reached the car and I was going around to the driver's door when I heard
Alice clear her throat expectantly. I turned to her and she glanced at the
passenger door pointedly as if asking me to open it for her. She smiled her
impish smile.

"You don't expect me to open the door myself, do you?"

"Sorry," I blurted and practically ran around the car to get the door.

She giggled as I opened it and placed a quick kiss on my lips. "I'm just
playing," she said, slipping into the car seat. "I won't make you do it again,
I know it's embarrassing."

She pulled the door shut and I stood there for a second with my head tingling
from her kiss. Then I jerked into motion and ran around to the driver's side. I
wondered if I was okay to drive but at least if I got pulled over there wasn't
any law against driving under the influence of Alice.

We started driving and I tried not to glance at her every couple seconds but it
was difficult. Her scent was so close, so much more potent than any perfume,
and I still couldn't get over how pretty she was. I'd never seen her in makeup
before and she wasn't really wearing much but it was perfect. Just perfect. She
was sitting with her back straight and her hands folded in her lap over her
purse, her posture prim and proper, and together with her cream-colored
summerdress she looked like a girl from an older time, the forties maybe. She
looked like a lady.

At first we drove in silence but then I cleared my throat.

"Hey, um, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Do you eat?"

"Mmhm," she smiled. "I'm not required to, but I can."

I breathed a sigh of relief, even though I'd seen her eat at school. She'd
never eaten much so I'd figured it might've been a ruse. "Er, what about
pizza?" I went on. "Do you like pizza?"

"I adore pizza."

I grinned, more relief washing over me. So far so good. Maybe tonight wasn't
going to be such a disaster after all. Now all I have to do is focus on driving
without plowing into the car in front of me because I'm too busy staring.

We arrived at the pizza place without any major accidents and I quickly hopped
out to get the door for her but she'd already opened it herself, sparing me a
playful smile as she got out and swung closed the door. I'd been too busy
drooling at the flash of leg as she stepped out to notice the smile.

It was cold on the sidewalk and I'd hunched up my shoulders a little. I glanced
her over in her thin cotton dress and I couldn't believe she wasn't cold. The
wind was riffling her skirts and her skin was glowing just barely. Not enough
to be suspicious but enough to suggest something ethereal about her. I wondered
if anyone would notice.

It was warmer inside and the smell of pizza was delicious. We spotted a booth
in the back and as we walked across the restaurant almost every head at every
table turned to look at Alice. It made me uncomfortable and I glared at a few
of the gawkers but Alice ignored it all gracefully.

Alice slipped into the booth first. I went to sit across from her but she took
my hand.

"Sit next to me," she said, shuffling over to make room. "I like sitting close
to you."

I blushed and slipped onto the seat beside her. Our backs were to the rest of
the room and in front of us was nothing but a wall. It was like were in our own
little corner.

"So," Alice said, perusing the menu. "What are we getting?"

I had no idea and I still wasn't sure about the whole garlic thing. "You can
decide if you want," I offered.

"How's vegetarian sound?" she asked.

I gave her a weird smile. "You don't like meat?"

"Not so much. Ironic, no?"

I chuckled. "Vegetarian sounds good. I don't really like meat either."

We ordered one pizza to share and made polite conversation while we waited, or
rather Alice did. She commented that it was a nice place, that something smelt
good, that I looked very beautiful. She queried me about my skirt, wondering
where I got it, how much, did they have any more. It was weird. Lauren and them
were always talking about clothes and never once had I listened or paid
attention, but now, when it was Alice talking, I couldn't hear enough. I told
her about Angela's shop and about all the cool stuff they had. I left out the
part about much I hate clothes in general. She said we'd have to go together
sometime and I was ready to run out and go now but that's when the pizza
arrived.

Alice held her slice in a napkin and ate very daintily. I tried copying her but
it wasn't as easy as it seemed. I had to keep wiping my mouth and remind myself
to take smaller bites. Usually I'm a pig when I eat pizza but the last thing I
wanted Alice to associate me with on our first date was swine.

"So," she said, in the tones of a conversation starter. "Tell me something
about yourself. Anything at all."

You wouldn't think that would be a hard question, but it was. I sipped my soda
to stall. It wasn't as easy as saying anything at all, because I had to make
sure I said something that would impress her. Or at least didn't embarrass me.
But what?

"Well, um…" I cleared my throat. "There's really nothing to say."

"There must be something. Anything. I'm interested in everything about you,
Bella."

"Well, um…" I cleared my throat again. "I'm a Pisces, so…"

A pretty dumb fact but she seemed interested.

"Really? I'm a Pisces, too."

I grinned. Talk about fate. "Seriously?"

"Mmhm," she nodded, smiling. "I think you'll find we have a lot in common.
That's the nature of a soulmate, our souls are aligned. Of course, a star sign
is a poor example. The date of a person's birth relative to the sun's proximity
to whimsically defined constellations has about as much bearing on a person's
destiny as any other arbitrary prophecy. It's authority is limited to the
person's understanding of it and their willingness to allow that understanding
the influence it purports. All else is coincidence. Our own compatibility
you'll find is rooted in something rather more fundamental than the stars."

I was glad I hadn't had to reply through all that because I had no idea what
she was talking about. I was still dwelling on the fact that we had the same
star sign. That's like a one in twelve chance, it had to mean something.

"But it's pretty cool we have the same sign," I went on, as if she hadn't said
anything. "It's like fate or something, huh?"

Alice smiled and rolled her eyes playfully. "If you like."

I nodded and took a bite of pizza. I'd forgotten to be dainty and the bite was
a little ungainly. An olive fell off the slice and landed in my lap. I almost
died from embarrassment but I recovered without her noticing.

"Hey, um…" I said, covering my embarrassment. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"It's just, I've been wondering…"

"Wondering what?"

I hesitated. I've never been the kind of girl to talk about my feelings, but
I've been dying to ask her something for days now, and this was the most casual
situation we've had so far. I took a breath and spat it out.

"Is it normal?" I asked. "The way I feel about you?"

She looked at me. We were sitting side by side and she was right there, so
close I could kiss her. We'd been sitting together almost as long as a biology
class and I'd been feeling the pull since we'd sat down. She was like a giant
magnet sitting there, tugging at both my heart and my panties. I didn't think I
was in any danger of jumping her but I still felt a twitch to capture her lips
with my own.

"I'm not sure," she said, looking me over. "How do you feel?"

"I feel like…" I hesitated, trying to put it in words. "I feel like I'm going
to die if I don't… If can't be near you. It's like… I can feel you pulling at
me. As if…as if…"

Alice smiled, but it wasn't really a happy smile. "Under the circumstances,
yes, it's normal," she said. Then she placed a hand over mine, caressing me
with her thumb. "But it won't always feel like this," she said. "It'll pass.
Sooner than you think."

I looked at her hand covering mine and then lifted my eyes to hers. "Do you
feel the same way?"

I could tell by looking at her that she did. Her eyes had gone hooded and she
was leaning to my lips vaguely. "Yes," she whispered. I thought she was going
to kiss me but suddenly she giggled and recoiled sharply. "But I'm better at
hiding it."

I chuckled, my heart hammering from the near kiss. What a bitch, I can't
believe she teased me like that.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," she said, climbing out of the booth. "I have to go
to the bathroom. I have to…" She gestured in the air vaguely. "Wash my hands."

She then winked and went off to the bathroom. I watched her go with a longing
look and sighed when she was gone.

When she came back she sat opposite me, not beside me. It was probably a good
idea—my control had almost slipped only minutes ago—but it still made me a
little upset. I hadn't been kidding when I said I need to be near her. Inches
mattered and the closer the better. But I didn't want to seem clingy so I
didn't mention it.

"Sorry about that," she said, taking up her slice of pizza.

"It's okay," I said. "Do vampire's actually use the bathroom?" As soon as I
said it I realized what a dumb question it was and tried to backpedal. "I mean,
do you mind if I ask? If it's too private…"

She smiled. "No, we don't, not in the traditional sense. Our needs are
different."

"What do you mean?"

She smiled and hesitated. "Probably not the best conversation to have over
dinner," she said tactfully.

I saw what she meant. "Sorry. Can I ask you something else?"

"Sure."

"How did you become a vampire?"

Again, it was probably a stupid question. Not only would the answer be private
and personal, but in all the vampire stories I'd seen in movies and books, I'd
never once heard of a person becoming a vampire without a tragedy of some kind,
usually involving dead loved ones. If I'd stopped and thought about it for even
ten seconds I would've knew better, but Alice only smiled and dipped her eyes
wistfully.

"Let's not talk about that," she said. "It's not a nice story."

"Sorry."

"It's okay, I understand that you're curious. Ask me something else."

This time I stopped and thought about it. I looked at the slice of pizza in my
hand and something occurred to me. "Are you cool with garlic?" I asked.

"Yes," she smiled, "which is fortunate because I love Italian food."

I felt a flush of success at initiating a conversation and plowed on. "Me too,
I cook it all the time," I told her. "What about sunlight?"

I'd seen her in sunlight, of course—well, in Forks there is no sun, just
daylight—and she hadn't burst into flames or anything, but in some vampire
stories the sun can have a weakening effect over time, which would suck.

"Sunlight is fine," she said, setting my mind at ease. "We don't even sunburn,
or freckle, which is important with skin so fair. I remember when I was growing
up in Mississippi. In the summer we wouldn't dare go outside without bonnets
and parasols and mittens to protect our hands and even then we'd stay in the
shade. I would've killed for sunblock back then."

Hearing about her past—even just a fragment—made a surreal feeling wash over
me. It was a reminder that I was sitting here eating pizza with a vampire.
"Wow," I breathed. "When was that?"

She shrugged. "Early nineteenth century."

"Whoa," I chuckled. "How old are you?"

She smiled aside. "Pretty old."

I stared at her, at her smooth pretty face, and grinned in awe. I didn't know
why she didn't want to be specific, but I didn't press her. It's not polite to
ask a lady her age, after all.

Still, I had to wonder how old she was when she was turned. She didn't look
very young but she didn't look fully grown either. I was guessing somewhere
between sixteen and twenty. Her face was very youthful but her body was more
developed than a teenager, especially her shape.

She blushed under my scrutiny and looked away. "Stop staring at me," she
whispered.

I snapped out of my trance and looked away. Was she shy? Or was there some
other problem? I didn't know and instead I groped for another question to keep
the conversation going.

"Um, what about crosses and holy water?"

She shook her head and smiled. " No. Most of those traditions were created for
dramatic effect in cheap novel's like Dracula."

"I thought Dracula was, like, literature?"

She snorted. "Hardly. Dracula is the nineteenth century equivalent of True
Blood. Vampire pulp. It contains some clever imagery, I suppose, but nothing
deserving the label of literature."

"So what are vampire's really like?"

She sighed and didn't answer for a second. I got the impression she didn't
really want to talk about it any more. Then she looked at me from across the
table and smiled. "Close your eyes," she said.

I frowned slightly. "Why?"

"Just close them."

I closed my eyes. It was less than a second and suddenly her voice whispered in
my ear:

"Open them."

I opened my eyes and she was sitting right beside me. She'd been on the other
side of the table and somehow, while my eyes were closed, she appeared beside
me. She couldn't have gone around the table because I was on the outside and
she couldn't have climbed over the table because the pizza and the glasses were
all undisturbed. It was as if she'd teleported or something.

"How did you…?"

She smirked. "How indeed."

She leaned and kissed me. My eyes fell shut but as soon as they did her lips
disappeared. When I opened my eyes she was no longer beside me, she was sitting
on the opposite side of the table as if she'd been there the whole time. My
eyes had only been closed a split second and there was no way she could've
moved that fast.

"We're ghosts," she said. "We move through the world beyond any kind of rules
or guidelines. The only thing that ties us to the earth is our lust for blood
and the emanations that result in the pursuit of it."

So basically my girlfriend is a horny demon. I grinned at her. "Cool."

She smiled and took a bite of pizza. "Pizza's pretty good, huh?"

I could tell she was trying to change the subject so I nodded. "It's alright, I
guess."

—

After dinner we drove to the movies and milled around the foyer looking at
movie posters.

"So what are we seeing?" Alice asked.

I wasn't sure. I wasn't a huge fan of movies, I'd rather just see whatever she
wanted. "I don't know, what do you think?"

"I think a romantic comedy is traditional in these situations."

I shrugged, not really enthusiastic. To be honest, I've never really liked
romance. I don't know why, but it probably had something to do with my
orientation. It's hard to get into a romance movie when you can't really
understand why the girl even likes the guy. I know gender doesn't matter, and
all love is beautiful, and blah, blah, blah, but whenever I'd watch romance
movies I'd just be staring at the guy and I'd be like; So? Who gives a shit?

"I don't know," I said. "I don't really like romance."

That made her smile. "No?" She swept the posters on the wall with her eyes and
gestured at the one for the new Batman movie. "Well, how about The Dark Knight
Rises?"

I shrugged again. I didn't really like action movies either but everyone knew
the Batman movies were supposed to be good. "Okay," I said.

"Really?!" Alice squealed, making me jump. She seemed really excited.

"Sure," I said, caught off guard. "Why?"

"Well, it's not really a girl kind of movie," she explained, "you might not
like it."

"It can't be worse than romance."

"Great," Alice giggled. "I love Batman."

I chuckled at her excitement. I'd learnt a lot about her tonight but this was
the weirdest fact yet.

I was about to ask her if she wanted popcorn or something when people started
exiting one of the theaters. I saw Lauren among them and cringed. She seemed to
be on a double date with Angela and their boyfriend's but she didn't seem to be
having fun. Angela was holding her boyfriend's had and happily chatting as they
walked but Lauren was three steps ahead of her boyfriend with bored and pissed
off look on her face. She looked like she was avoiding him, as if he had tried
to cop a feel during the movie or refused to buy her a box of candy because she
needed to lose weight or something.

"Shit," I muttered, turning away and hoping they wouldn't notice me.

"What's the matter?" Alice asked.

I was going to drag her away quickly but it was too late. Lauren saw me and her
scowl instantly melted into a malicious grin.

"Oh, look, it's the dyke," she sang out. The whole group of them sauntered
over, only Angela hesitant. "What are you doing here, dyke?"

"Seeing a movie," I muttered. "Why, what's your problem?"

Lauren looked at Alice and looked at me. She looked at our clothes and scoffed
scornfully.

"What, you on a date or something?"

I wasn't going to deny it but I wasn't exactly going to admit it either. I
didn't know what to say, but then Alice stepped in and took my hand.

"Yep!" she said cheerfully. "We're going to see The Dark Knight Rises."

Various expressions of shock passed over them. The boyfriends stared at our
clasped hands and then looked away awkwardly, pretending they hadn't been
looking at all. Angela was the only one who didn't seem totally weirded out.
She smiled a scandalized smile and she looked happy for me almost.

Lauren, however, seemed outright stunned by Alice's admission. She looked at
our hands, her evil smile slipping away.

"What, seriously?" she said in a hollow voice.

"Uh huh, it's awesome," Alice said, referring to the movie. "I've seen it three
times already."

Lauren's face slowly paled in disgust. "That's disgusting."

Alice feigned confusion. "No, it's not," she said. "It's like the greatest
movie ever made."

Lauren looked at her disdainfully and turned away. "Whatever," she muttered.
"Come on, let's get away from these dykes."

She walked away in a huff and the two boyfriends followed uncomfortably. Angela
lingered behind and smiled at me.

"Needed some new clothes, huh?"

I blushed. "Yeah, well…"

Angela grinned and waved away my embarrassment. "Don't worry, you look cute,"
she said, and then she turned and hurried to catch up with her boyfriend.

Alice was still holding my hand. I gave her a awkward smile.

"Sorry about that," I said. "Lauren's always a bitch."

Alice nodded. "Did she hurt your feelings?"

I shook my head. "Nah."

"Why do you hang out with that troll?"

"I don't know," I said, not wanting to talk about it. "Come on, let's see the
movie."

So far this date had cost me almost a hundred bucks and I wound up spending
another chunk on tickets and popcorn. Alice had offered to pay for hers, of
course, but I pretended like I was a millionaire and doled out the bills
casually. I had about ten bucks left and if we needed gas on the way home we
might be totally screwed.

The movie was pretty good. Alice explained it was part of a trilogy and gave me
a quick recap of the other two. There was plenty of gunshots and car chases but
mostly I focused on glancing at Alice whenever I could, watching her pretty
face flaring in the light of the onscreen explosions. She stared at the screen
absorbedly—despite the fact that she'd seen it before—and I was happy that she
liked the movie. I had a feeling that she was lying about the pizza but she
seemed to genuinely love the movie.

It was late by the time the movie was over. I drove Alice home and she chatted
happily the whole way.

"That movie was amazing, don't you think? And catwoman's so hot. All that
leather. And those heels!"

I chuckled. "Yeah."

Alice snuggled back into the seat and smiled at me as I drove. "Hey, thanks for
taking me out tonight, Bella. It was really sweet. I had so much fun. And
you're so beautiful…"

I blushed. "T-thanks. I'm glad you had fun. I was really nervous. I had no idea
what you'd like."

"Do you know what I like most?"

"What?"

"Being with you."

"Really?"

"Mmhm." She giggled to herself. "You know, I have to admit, I'm kind of proud
of myself for staying in control all night. Part of me was afraid we wouldn't
even make it to the restaurant."

I laughed too. "I know what you mean. I'm amazed I can even drive."

She giggled again. "Look at us," she said, "flirting like a real couple. It's
nice having a real date, isn't it? Beats crawling through your window at night
like a stalker."

"Yeah."

"We have to do this again sometime."

I smiled, and resisted to ask when. I didn't want to seem too eager and I'd
need a few weeks of allowance before I could even think about asking her out
again.

I pulled up in front of her house and sighed.

"Well," I said reluctantly. "I guess this is it."

She looked out the window where her house loomed on the rise with its warm
windows and then she turned to me.

"I guess so."

We sat there for a second, hesitating over the goodnight kiss. Alice obviously
wanted me to have control over the relationship—at least tonight—so I knew that
if one of us was going to make a move it would have to be me, but I didn't know
if I should. I really wanted to but I didn't want to upset her. I was so
flustered that it didn't occur to me that she'd already kissed me twice on the
lips tonight and probably wouldn't object to a third.

"Hey, um, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"How slow are we supposed to be going here?"

She thought about it with a smile. "Well," she said. "It's only our first date,
but we really like each other, so…maybe I could allow a kiss."

I leaned toward her slightly. She leaned too. I touched my lips to hers in a
modest kiss and felt that familiar wave of euphoria wash over me. It was like
her lips were magic, so soft and warm and perfect. I deepened the kiss, just
slightly, and she tried to draw back, but I put a hand at the nape of her neck
and held her. It was just such a wonderful kiss. I couldn't stop.

She hesitated a second but then she responded. Her tongue swept my bottom lip,
requesting entrance, and I opened my mouth eagerly and leaned into her. Her
hands went to my waist as the kiss heated up. I let my own drop hand to her
waist and caress her body under the thin stuff her dress. I moaned into her
mouth and tried to deepen the kiss even more. My mind was slowly going blank
and I could've happily spent the rest of my life in that kiss.

Then Alice's hand snaked up my skirt and caressed the inside of my thigh and,
well, suddenly a kiss didn't seem like enough. I pressed my thighs together
against her hand, as if to encourage her, and she caressed again and then
rubbed a finger against my underwear, making me shiver.

I broke the kiss and panted: "Alice."

Her eyes had gone lidded as they usually did in these situations and her scent
was swirling through the car like a cloud of bliss. She licked my lips and
kissed me again and said: "Quick, get in the back."

I got in the back.

I scrambled over the gearshift, almost falling into a heap on the floor, and
Alice climbed in right after me. We collapsed back into the seat and already
she was kissing me again. I welcomed her tongue—I really liked her tongue—and
one of my hands, on autopilot, settled onto her thigh and caressed her leg
under her dress.

I was sitting back against the seat with her straddling my lap and suddenly she
broke the kiss and pulled up my top. She didn't pull it off, she just pushed it
over my breasts. My bra was a plain thing that my mom had bought me ages ago.
The only thing that was impressive about it was that it was a C cup and kind of
small on me. In any case Alice didn't pause to admire the lacework. She pulled
both cups down and took a double handful of my exposed breasts before leaning
to kiss me again.

It was heaven. My arms went around her back and I was so glad that she was
finally taking the initiative. I sucked at the initiative.

One of her hands dipped between my legs and found its way up my skirt where it
proceed to rub against my dampening underwear—excuse me, my thong. I wondered
if Alice had noticed, but unless she had x-ray vision she probably hadn't. I
moaned into her mouth, forgetting how to kiss for a second. I wanted to tell
her to hurry, that I was ready, that I didn't want to wait any more, but I
couldn't do it. I guess it would be a while before I was comfortable saying
things like that.

Alice looked at my flushed face and smiled sexily, her finger poking at my
underwear under my skirt. "Good thing we both wore skirts, huh?"

And with that she dropped to the floor of the car and pushed open my legs. My
skirt was fairly loose so it didn't need to be hiked up. She just lifted it
away and went to kiss me down there but then she saw my thong and paused. She
smiled up at me.

"A thong?"

I was sitting there with my top up around my collar, my breasts exposed, my
skirt pushed up around my waist to reveal the black thong I'd shoplifted for
the occasion, flushed, panting, desperate. Bella Swan, back seat bimbo. I bet
even Lauren had higher standards than this.

Alice smirked and hooked her fingers around the waistband of the panties.
"That's so cute," she said, then she tugged the thong down around my
knees—stretchy material—and ducked her head underneath and slashed her tongue
against my soaking pussy.

I moaned and writhed against the car seat. Her tongue slid inside me and I
gasped at its entrance—I really do love that thing—and I squeezed my thighs
shut over her head. Do vampire's breathe? I didn't want to suffocate the girl
but god it felt good.

I clenched my hands in her soft pixie hair as she kissed my pussy like a mouth
and made little moaning sounds. It didn't take long for her to push me over the
edge. She didn't even use her fingers. Her lips found my nub and sucked on it
and I felt her hot tongue lick against it and that was all for me. A loud gasp
escaped my throat as I felt my climax burst against her lips, my thighs
clenching around her ears and my hands scrunching in her hair, moaning as the
hot waves of pleasure rolled over me.

Alice made a muffled giggle between my legs, kissed me again, and then
disentangled herself from my underwear. I leaned back against the car seat,
gazing at her with a blissful smile, drawing my legs together dreamily. She was
so sexy, with her hair all mussed and her lips shiny with my juices. She smiled
at and then she pulled my underwear back up and arranged my skirt to cover me
and then she kissed both my knees and stood up and sat beside me and pulled me
into a loving kiss.

My breasts were still exposed and she stroked them generously as her tongue
swirled in my mouth. God, I love this girl. I was losing my mind all over again
and I wanted to do her so badly but I was too timid to make a move. I wanted to
eat her up and touch her all over and my heart was aching with how bad I wanted
her but I was helpless to do anything but ache. All I could hope was that she'd
guide me to what she wanted like she did the other night and thankfully she
didn't disappoint me.

She broke the kiss, gazing at me with hooded eyes, and then she slipped off one
of her dress's shoulder straps. She wasn't wearing a bra and my mouth fell open
as her perfect breast was revealed with it soft and supple roundness and it's
hard little nipple. She guided my face to it and as soon as that hot hardened
nub popped into my mouth I felt a spasm of utter hunger. I sucked on it and
licked it, moaning a little, and then I moved onto the other one, sucking it
through the fabric of her dress, licking it, leaving a damp patch of saliva in
the cotton that covered a small area around her nipple.

Alice moaned deeply and lay back across the car seats, her head against the
back door. She threw her legs open, one in the floor and one up over the
headrest, and then she lifted her skirt, her flat tummy heaving with each
breath.

"Quickly, Bella," she whispered. "I want you now."

Her words almost froze me with horniness but the hunger was more powerful. Her
panties were white lace and they were wet and clingy as I pulled them down a
little and ducked my head underneath and mashed my mouth against her soaking
mound, parting her slick netherlips with my own and wiggling my tongue into her
core.

She gave a gratifyingly loud moan and grabbed handfuls of my hair. "Yes," she
hissed. "Keep going. Keep going."

I hadn't developed any skills since last time—I'll have to do some research on
the internet at some point—but the hunger seemed to be enough. I hooked my arms
around her legs and licked as deep as I could, pausing only to lap up her
delicious juices, my tongue slipping in and out of her folds, her honey
lavender scent like a haze in my brain. She kept moaning and slowly the moans
became more urgent. I curled my tongue inside her and plunged it back in and
then I started plunging in rhythm with her moans, my head going up and down,
her legs locked around my neck.

"Bella," she panted. "Oh Bella. Oh Bella, ohhh—!"

Her climax splattered over my face in a hot gushing of sexiness. I swallowed as
much as I could and struggled to lick up the rest. I licked around her pussy
and her thighs. Slowly her legs loosened as her orgasm ebbed away and I was
still licking. She was so delicious. I'd never tasted anything like it and I
was certain it was a vampire thing. No human could possibly taste so fucking
yummy.

Finally she pulled up her panties and sat up and arranged her skirts over her
lap. Her eyes were lidded and her face all flushed. Her butterfly hairclip was
half dangling from her hair and her hair was disarrayed. She looked at me and
smiled and my heart almost burst from how satisfied she looked.

"Thank you, Bella," she said. Her breast was still exposed but she covered it
and replaced the shoulder strap, smiling shyly. "That was wonderful."

I blushed and grinned, tucking my own exposed breasts into my bra
embarrassedly. "Y-yeah," I agreed, pulling my top down and straightening it.

She blinked languidly, watching me cover myself. Then she giggled and cupped my
cheek. "Look at you," she said, brushing my face with her thumb. "Your makeup's
all smeared. Here, let me clean you up."

She used the hem of her dress to wipe my face, wetting it with saliva and
kneeling on the car seat with her pelvis almost eyelevel. As she wiped I caught
glimpses of her panties and I had the urge to go down on her again but, as
usual, I lacked the balls.

"There," she said, sitting down and examining my face. "You look pretty without
makeup."

I blushed shyly. "I have a zit," I said lamely, pointing at my forehead.

She stifled a giggle. "I didn't even notice," she said, and then she pulled me
into another kiss.

We made out in the back seat for a while and I melted into her arms, losing
myself in the bliss of her lips. I had no idea how long we were making out like
that but slowly it started to heat up. I was getting excited again and for a
second I had hope that we were going to have sex again but then Alice's lips
descended on my neck and I felt her fangs graze my throat. My heart gave a jolt
as I realized she was going to bite me and I had a flash of uncertainty. Did I
want her to do it here? Right now? In the back seat of my mom's car? It didn't
feel right somehow.

And then there was the fear. The other night had been like a dream, like I
didn't have any choice, like it was all happening beyond me. It had seemed
romantic, destined, unavoidable. But now it felt more real. I could feel my
skin under my lips and I was aware that it would probably hurt.

But I wasn't going to stop her. The desire to please her was far stronger than
either fear or uncertainty. Her tongue flicked against my jugular, as if
searching for consent, and in a trembly voice I whispered:

"Okay…"

I thought she'd bite me right then but my voice seemed to have snapped her out
of it instead. She recoiled and twisted her face away, breathing heavy.

"I'm sorry," she gasped. "I'm sorry…"

I smiled reassuringly but I don't know how convincing I was. "It's okay," I
told her. "I don't mind."

And I really didn't, truly. In fact, now that she'd actually stopped once, I
felt a lot better about it. But she shook her head.

"It's too soon," she said. "We have to wait. And not like this, not…here."

She gestured at the car and I knew exactly what she meant. I couldn't help
feeling a little relieved. It's always nice to know that your girlfriend
respects you enough to not feast on your blood in the back seat of your mom's
car on the first date. I was grateful enough for the slightly-cheap sex.

I nodded with a shy smile but I didn't know what to say. It was kind of a
touchy subject, this blood sucking.

She smiled, a sad smile touched with longing, and then she leaned and placed a
quick kiss on my lips. "Call me," she said, and then she opened the door, got
out, and hurried away without looking back, the wind rippling though her pale
dress, her head slightly bowed, and her arms hugging herself around the middle
as if she were cold.

—

As I drove home I thought about Alice and the more I thought about it the more
I regretted not letting her bite me. It was kind of selfish, really. Kind of
teasing. The girl's a vampire, after all. If I didn't want to get bitten I
shouldn't have asked her out. Now she probably thinks I'm some frigid prude. I
mean, sure I paid for everything and picked her up and even put out in the back
seat, but when it came to what she really wanted I just closed up. God, I'm an
idiot. She probably regrets she ever went out with me.

But in my heart I knew that was all insecure bullshit. The date went well, I
kept telling myself. And Alice herself didn't want to bite me. I was perfectly
ready to let her but she didn't. And she was right. It's a big step, really,
bigger than sex. It deserves a better date than pizza and a movie.

But god the sex was good. Best part of the date, easily. Call me a slut, I
don't care. It's not like that, anyway. She said it herself, we're soulmates.
It's not like we were just playing around. We were, like, making love. Just
hotter. Okay, maybe it was kind of trashy. And maybe I should be a little
ashamed of myself, but honestly I didn't care. It was too awesome. And oh my
god she's so hot. As if I wouldn't put out whenever she wanted. I'd have to be
crazy.

I was smiling all the way home, glowing like a girl who just successfully
completed her first real date, and when I got home I pulled up, parked, and
sailed across the front lawn toward the door.

I found mom in the living room watching one of her NCIS DVDs, curled up on the
couch with a pillow in her lap. She looked up and smiled when I came in.

"Hi, sweetie," she said, pausing the DVD. "Did you have fun?"

I remembered the sex and grinned involuntarily. "Yeah," I gushed. "It was
awesome."

Too much enthusiasm. Her smile fell away.

"That's nice," she said. She looked me over suspiciously. "What happened to
your makeup?"

Fuck.

"Oh, um, I wiped it off," I said. "It was annoying."

She frowned slightly. "I see. And what happened to your hair?"

I froze. "It was windy."

It was the perfect excuse but my delivery was pathetic. She set down the remote
and rose from the couch, advancing toward me with her arms folded like an
inquisitor.

"Bella, tell me the truth," she said seriously. "Were you really with friend's
tonight? Or were you sneaking off to see some boy?"

I felt a weird rush of relief. I'd thought she was suspicious of Alice. Turns
out she's just worried I'm a slut. Which, considering I'd just had sex in the
back of her own car about an hour ago, shows some uncharacteristic wisdom from
my hare-brained mom.

Still, I had no idea how the fuck I was suppose to reply to it. I didn't want
her to know I was gay—not now anyway—but I didn't want her to think I was with
a guy, either.

"Er…"

"I won't get mad," she added hastily. "I just want to know."

I was kind of stumped but I figured I'd just paraphrase the truth.

"I was with Alice, that's all," I said with faux-casualness, my heart tingling
as I said her name. "She's my labpartner."

She looked at me as if she might be able to tell if I was lying. Her face
softened.

"Are you sure?" she asked. She gestured at my hair and face with her finger.
"Because this is all very suspicious. I'm not being paranoid, am I?"

I could tell I'd won her over and my next lies came much more natural.

"Mom, seriously," I smiled. "I wasn't with some guy, okay? I was with Alice.
Just Alice, that's all."

Mom nodded, not quite reassured but happy at least that she hadn't raised a
whore, at least not to her knowledge. "Okay," she said. "But I want you to be
honest with me about your relationships, alright? I don't want you to start
lying to me."

"I won't, mom," I said, and then I kissed her cheek. "G'night."

By the time I'd gotten upstairs the glow was back. I brushed my teeth and got
into bed, leaving the window open about half way just in case. I knew she
probably wouldn't come and even if she did I'd be asleep, but like to leave it
open.

There was a light wind and I watched the drapes rustle in the dark, smiling to
myself. Such a perfect night. I was quite proud of myself, now that I thought
back on it. Sure, it wasn't the most original date in the world, but Alice had
enjoyed herself and that's what mattered.

I just hope she was okay after she said goodnight. I didn't like how she walked
away, all hunched up as if she was cold. She had told me herself that vampires
don't feel cold. It was probably because she refused to feed. Maybe she was
hungry or something. I sighed, again regretting that she hadn't bit me. I
shouldn't have been so hesitant. She would've did it if I wanted it more. Why
was I so hesitant? It's not like she hadn't done it before.

I sighed again, rolling over onto my back. I'd been tired when I got home but
now I was wide awake. I felt really bad about the whole biting thing. It seemed
like such a missed opportunity. How could I do that do her? I never told her
how pretty she looked either.

Suddenly I felt like shit. No more glow. Maybe I'm kidding myself, maybe the
date was a huge failure and she was too polite to say anything. How could I not
even tell her how pretty she looked? I'm such an idiot. Sure, I was paralyzed
by her beauty, but that's no excuse.

Suddenly I flung the covers off and grabbed my cellphone off the desk. I stood
there holding it, looking at Alice's number on speed dial. Is it too late to
call her? And say what? Is it normal to call girl the same night after a date?
I think I've seen it in a movie once. Maybe she'd think it's cute. Or maybe
she'd be repulsed by my cloying clinginess. Think, Bella, think!

Finally I just hit dial. I had to speak to her. I had to say something, I had
to—

"Bella?" said her beautiful voice. "Is that you?"

"Y-yeah," I stuttered. "I'm sorry for calling so late, I just…" I took a deep
breath. "I just wanted to apologize."

"For what?" she asked innocently. "You were great, I had a wonderful time. I
can't wait to see you again."

"Me too, but…"

"But what?"

I sighed. "I don't know, I just feel like I fucked up somehow. Like you
deserved better."

"Bella, that's nonsense. You were perfect."

"No, I wasn't. I should've let you bite me."

She went silent.

"I wanted you too," I said, "I just…"

"Bella…" she said softly.

I waited for her to continue but she didn't. There was just silence. I couldn't
even hear her breathe.

I pouted at myself, blinking back tears. "I never told you how beautiful you
looked, either."

This time she giggled, just once. "Bella, that's silly," she said. "I know I'm
beautiful, I don't need to be reminded."

"I still should've said something."

"Bella, I'm a centuries old immortal who's privileged with eternal youth and
beauty. I've been beyond such vanities for quite some time."

"Still," I swallowed. "I should've let you bite me."

She went quiet again. Then I heard her sigh.

"You did let me, Bella," she said. "I'm the one that refused. And I have my
reasons. So don't let it bother you, okay?"

"Yeah, but…"

"No buts, Bella. Feeding can be dangerous. It's not something you do whenever
you please and wherever you want. It was my fault I let the situation get out
of hand. We were supposed to be going slow, remember?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

"It's alright. Just don't be upset, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. And I'm glad this subject doesn't repulse you. Because at some point I
will have to do it. And it will have to be soon."

My heart rate picked up. I nodded into the phone. "I understand."

"No." she said, her voice almost sad. "You don't."

I was confused but before I could ask her what she meant she went on.

"But it doesn't matter right now," she said. "Go to sleep, okay? It's best we
don't see each other tomorrow but I'll see you on Monday."

"Okay," I said, trying not to be disappointed. "And Alice?"

"Yes, Bella?"

I had a sudden ache to tell her I loved her but I knew it wasn't the right
thing to say right then. It's a big step and I didn't want to make her
uncomfortable. Instead I whispered: "Thanks for tonight. I really had a great
time."

I heard her smile, an echo of a laugh. "Me too, Bella," she said softly. "I
really had a great time too."

—

***** Chapter 4 *****
—

Chapter 4:

—

Alice met me at the front gates Monday morning.

I hadn't seen her all Sunday and after twenty four hours of no-Alice my heart
simply soared at the sight of her, leaning against the chain link fence, her
trendy tan leather satchel slung over one shoulder. There was a mild wind and
her soft pixie hair was rustling gently. People were passing on the sidewalk
but everyone look so mundane and human compared to her. It was overcast with no
sun and she was standing there against the gray fence and gray buildings, all
of it drab and colorless except for her, dressed in my favorite blue jeans and
a pink top that I'd never seen her wear before.

She had seen me before I'd seen her and she was smiling as I approached. I
managed not to run into her arms with sobs of joy and tackle her to the ground
like a psychotic BFF, but no amount of self-restraint could stop the grin that
spread over my face. Still, I managed to wipe some of it away as I got closer,
and all in all, that morning turned out to be my best effort ever at
nonchalance. I approached casually, adjusted the strap of my backpack, and
nodded her a cool good morning.

"Hey," I said, not stuttering once, and quite proud of that.

"Hi," she smiled.

I had still been a couple steps out when I spoke—all part of assuming a casual
air—and now she sidled up beside me and slipped her hand into mine as she fell
into step beside me without stopping.

"Is it okay if I hold your hand?"

Already two people had glanced, making my chest clench with nervousness. But
she'd asked so sweetly and with such a pretty smile, and besides, it's not like
I'm not a total outcast already.

I smiled at her. "Sure."

"Thanks," she said, a touch of relief in her voice. "I was worried you might be
uncomfortable."

I was, a little, but not enough to deny her anything she'd ask. Alice was the
only girl in school who actually liked spending time with me. If she wanted to
hold my hand, so be it. Hell, she could put me on a leash if she wanted.

"It's alright," I said. "Everyone probably knows by now anyway."

Alice nodded, smiling up at me. She was a couple inches shorter and there was a
sparkle in her eyes that I hadn't noticed before, as if she was genuinely happy
to see me. Like, really really happy to see me. I don't know why that should
surprise me, but it did. To be honest I still had no idea why she even liked
me. I know I smelt good to her and that she liked my blood, but beyond that it
seemed kind of odd. Why bother being nice or holding my hand? I'm obviously an
easy target. Is it possible that she liked me for my personality, too? What
personality? I wasn't even aware I had one.

"Thanks," she repeated, giving my hand a little squeeze. "I hate to make you
uncomfortable, but it helps if I can touch you."

A gave her a puzzled little frown. "Helps what?"

She smiled and shook her head as if to tell me not to worry about it. "It's
nothing. I just feel better if I can touch you, that's all. It's because
you're…warm."

Puzzling. But she obviously didn't want to talk about it, so I nodded as if I
understood, but like most things about her I was completely mystified. She
giggled, squeezed my hand, and we continued into the main building.

I'd never liked Monday mornings and not even Alice's presence could save this
one.

Walking through a crowded highschool corridor holding hands with another girl
while on the cusp of a full-blown anxiety disorder is just not fun. Alice,
sadly, was a double edged sword. On one hand it was great to be near her and
hold her hand, warm, blissful, intoxicating. On the other hand the simple
interaction drew enough stares to almost kill me from embarrassment before we
even got to my locker. Oh well. Maybe I'll get used to it.

We parted at my locker where she gave me a quick peck on the lips—thank god the
corridor was almost empty—before disappearing down the hallway and glancing
over her shoulder to make sure I was watching her go. I sighed, missing her
already. But that didn't stop me from taking the opportunity of staring at her
ass as she went. I love those jeans, I truly do.

And so, with a heavy heart but hope of seeing my soulmate again in biology, I
trudged to homeroom. As I walked in I saw Lauren and the others huddled in a
group, talking quietly with looks of shock and disgust on their faces, one or
two with mean smirks. But when I walked in they stopped talking. Somehow I got
the feeling Lauren had been talking about me behind my back, and not nice
things either.

None of them looked at me as I approached, my stomach twisting in its usual
knot of anxiety, but thankfully no one said anything when I sat down. They
ignored me even more pointedly than usual and even Lauren had no hurtful
greeting for me.

When they resumed talking, the conversation had a restrained and bitter tone to
it, as if they couldn't talk freely because there was an outsider among them, a
spy, an trespasser. I realized my presence was making them uncomfortable and
amazingly I felt bad. I've never been the kind of girl who likes to spread her
misery and even though they were a bunch of small minded trolls I hated to make
people feel awkward. It wasn't a nice feeling, I knew too well.

Classes went on with their usual monotony, biology drawing closer by the hour.
I was quiet most of the day, daydreaming about Alice. I thought about her
constantly, and in English I spent a few minutes wishing I was the kind of
mindless schoolgirl who could dreamily doodle her crush's name in the back of a
notebook and decorate it with lovehearts, but I wasn't. Too paranoid. My love
for her required expression of some sort, but not in writing. I was poised with
my pen on the back page, but I couldn't shake the fear of discovery. What if
someone saw? What if I choked on my lunch and died and mom saw it while
flipping through my last effects? An unlikely scenario, maybe, but possible.
No, no, best not to take the chance. I'll tell Alice all about how much I love
her when I see her. Well, I won't tell her. I'll show her. Not with sex—not at
school, at least—but with deep soulful looks. That is if I can manage to look
at her for more than two seconds without breaking down into a gooey mess.

By lunch my so-called friends had loosened up a little. It was a different
group class by class, and I think some of the lunch crowd was so far uninfected
by Lauren's poisonous rumors. Some of them even talked to me. Lauren didn't.
She hadn't talked to me all day and she was acting weird whenever I was around.
I don't know what her problem was. She'd known I was gay before and it never
bothered her—well, it never bothered her enough to be awkward around me—so what
was the problem now? Maybe I should be grateful she wasn't teasing me, but
somehow her cold looks of distain were even worse. More ominous. Before her
disgust had seemed mostly superficial. As if she was just playing around
almost. But now it seemed realer.

But I didn't let it bother me, because after lunch was biology. Alice was
waiting for me at our usual bench and as usual I felt a familiar rush as I laid
eyes on her. So fucking beautiful. I shouldn't be so superficial, but
seriously. I'll admire her personality when her beauty stops dazing me
senseless or when I get a little more mature. Which ever comes first, probably
maturity. I doubt her beauty will be wearing off any time soon.

I slipped onto the stool next to her, heart thudding.

"Hi," she said, her voice making me shiver.

I smiled, a little meekly, and nodded. "Hi."

She giggled and shuffled her stool a little closer. I caught a waft of lavender
and almost blacked out. She smiled and used a hand to bush hair away from my
shoulder which gave me two distinct impulses. The first impulse was to cringe
away from her hand like an unworthy servant. The other impulse was to grab her
hand and stuff it in my mouth like a freak. In the end I did neither, I just
froze up all trembly and waited for her to say something.

She looked at me with huge elf-eyes that were filled with love and prettiness.
"I missed you," she said, and the only thing that stopped me from melting all
over the floor was the unromantic laws of physics. People can't melt, sadly,
which was a terrible shame. I was glowing uncontrollably and I would've gladly
forfeited my molecular structure to show her how much her lovey dovey words
meant to me.

"I missed you too," I told her, my voice vague, staring into her eyes.

She broke eye contact to take a crafty look about the classroom and then she
whispered a question. "Is it okay if I kiss you?" she asked. "Just a little
kiss?"

I nodded mutely and instantly her lips flew to mine. A gentle kiss, nothing
graphic, but my head almost popped from joy anyway. God, I loved her lips.

It was only a few seconds but when she pulled away she was flushed and slightly
frazzled. I was somewhat similar myself, a twinge between my legs, a warm flush
spreading over my body. I glanced around, remembering to be embarrassed, and I
saw that some people had seen, labpartners leaning together to whisper in
various states ranging from shock to excitement. Jessica was among the most
disgusted, her face twisted in a comic grimace of revulsion, and Angela was the
only one who met my eyes as I swept the room. She raised her brows and gave me
a look of playful skepticism—as if to say "Whatever floats your boat"—and then
she turned to Jessica who was already badgering her about how disgusting it
was.

"Hey, I got great news," Alice told me excitedly.

I turned to her, still frazzled from the kiss. "What news?"

"I had a talk at registration last Friday and managed to get myself transferred
into some of your classes. History, Art, and PE. Isn't that great?"

I was slightly taken aback, and I wasn't sure how delighted I should be. Lauren
and the other's could barely stand me by myself. What would they say if I was
sitting there holding hands with Alice? They might not let me sit with them
anymore.

But in the end, the appeal of being near Alice outweighed all other concerns,
and I smiled. "That's awesome," I said. "Starting when?"

"Today," she smiled. "Next class, PE. I can't wait to be your bodyguard on the
dodgeball court. No one's touching my Bella if I can stop them."

I grinned, glowing all over again. "Cool."

Shortly after that the teacher came in and started the lesson and me and Alice
had to be quiet. Still, it was a great start to the class, considering our
history in biology. Kiss aside, we were like two regular girls, just friend's
even. Nothing weird at all, no supernatural pull, no inexplicable attraction,
no seductive scent whispering in my ear to look at her, just look at her, see
how pretty she is, how desirable, and oh god I want her so much, and—

I looked at her.

She had shuffled her stool even closer and our hips were almost touching and
she was right there, right beside me, so pretty. I could almost feel the warmth
radiating from her body, but maybe that was my own elevated temperature. She
was jotting something in her notebook, diligently listening to the lecture, and
I snapped out of my semi-trance for a second to jot down my own notes.

Okay, Bella, calm down. Get a grip.

I looked at her again.

So pretty, so pretty, how could someone be so fucking pretty? Such smooth skin,
such huge eyes. Her small little upturned nose, so cute. I stared for a second,
feeling that familiar euphoria wash over me, losing myself in the closeness of
her scent. She glanced at me and smiled. I startled out of the daze and bent to
my notebook to write something, or at least pretend to write something, my hand
shaking with adrenaline.

I thought I was past this phase but I guess I wasn't. Maybe it was because
school was so boring and depressing. When we were on the date I managed to
drive for over an hour total with her sitting next to me. Why was I having such
trouble now?

Because she's so close, so close, right there beside me. If I leaned a little
to the left my shoulder would brush her. My face flushed at the thought. Why
did such a mild brush seem so exciting all the sudden? Would she noticed if I
did it? Would she be creeped out? Maybe I could pretend I was stretching, or
just shifting on the stool. She didn't have to know I was deliberately brushing
her.

I took a deep breath quietly—the proximity of her scent didn't exactly calm
me—and then I shifted on the stool. Just slightly. Not even noticeable. My
shoulder brushed hers, as planned, and a ripple of excitement spread through
me. Score! My mouth quirked into a smile but I managed not to giggle like a
simpleton.

But Alice noticed. She glanced at me and smiled, a knowing smile, and then she
shuffled her stool a little closer. Now our shoulder's were touching. I sucked
in a breath and held it. I pretended not to be effected, but my nerves were
dancing. Suddenly it seemed like a really good idea to attack her to the floor
and tear her clothes off. But that's all it was, an idea. The impulse was
growing in my mind but I didn't feel like I was in danger of losing control,
not like last time.

I glanced at her and tried to smile, to let her know it's cool she's sitting so
close. She didn't seem to require my permission but I wanted her to know it was
okay. She smiled back and then she flipped her notebook to the back page and
wrote something for me to read.

I love it when you wear your hair down.

She wrote it just like that, capital letter and full stop. She moved her hand
and looked at me expectantly. She wanted me to reply. But what could I say.
Surely there was some witty response for this kind of situation, something
smooth and charming that wouldn't make me seem so pathetic, but if there was I
couldn't think of it.

thanks

A bit simplistic, but it got my basic point across. I'm grateful my appearance
pleases her. Well, I guess I'm not a feminist, after all.

She smiled and wrote again.

Will you always wear it down?

Again, there was probably something flirty and creative I could've said here
that might've hinted at spark or spunkiness, something more typical of a
spirited heroine, but sadly my slavishness would not be silenced.

if you want me too

I almost cringed. How pathetic can a girl be? Still, it seemed to please Alice.
She smiled and went to write again but the teacher must've said something
important because she flipped to the front of her notebook quickly and jotted
it down and then flipped back to the back page. She gave a subtle eyeroll at
the teacher's voice and wrote:

School's so boring.

I watched her hand flow across the paper. Such handwriting! Such expression! I
could almost hear the sigh in her words. A truly wise observation. And she
wasn't finished!

Do you know how many times I've graduated?

I hated to sully her notebook with my own clunky handwriting but it was more
important to indulge her. And I was curious about the answer, as well. It
hadn't occurred to me that she'd been to school before, but she must've. She
was obviously intelligent and educated. And old. She's probably been to
college.

how many?

I've lost count. That's how many.

I let out a breath of amazement, grinning stupidly. Imagine repeating
highschool for all eternity. Hell on earth. Maybe vampires really are cursed.
Doomed to an endless curriculum of droning teachers and stale boredom. I felt a
sudden surge of sympathy for her and wrote:

why even go to school?

She smiled her foxy smile and bent to write.

Best way to meet girls.

I felt an unexpected jolt as I read it. I'd been wondering about her
orientation for days now, but somehow it never felt right to bring it up. And I
know it's not really important, but it seemed important. I needed to know if
she was like me, or if she was like something else.

do you like girls?

It was the best way I could phrase it without using words like gay or lesbian.
Maybe I should've been more specific, but I didn't want to make her
uncomfortable.

She gave me a puzzled look and wrote:

What do you think?

She punctuated the remark by touching my knee under the table. I squirmed
gleefully but it still didn't really answer my question. I knew she liked me,
but I didn't really care about me. I wanted to know if she liked girl's in
general. For some reason I really wanted her to be a lesbian. I wanted her to
be just like me, only…prettier.

I drew my knee away from her hand and wrote:

i don't know

She looked at that, gave me another puzzled glance, and wrote:

Silly.

I agreed with her. Silly, stupid, hopelessly infatuated. And still curious.

She went on:

I like girls and I have a favorite girl. Can you guess who she is?

I smiled despite myself. Still no true answer—but at least it confirmed she
likes girls in general. I gave her a coy glance and wrote:

who?

You.

Stupidly, the first thing I felt was relief. I would've been so horrified if it
was someone else. Could you imagine? I would've jumped straight out the window
right then. On second thought it's only the second floor, and the glass would
hurt going through it. Maybe the roof would be wiser.

But it didn't matter, because it was me. I was her favorite girl. Me, me, me,
Bella Swan. Why? Fuck knows. But it didn't seem important right then.

She was smiling at me, waiting for a flirty reply of some kind, and I thought:
Shit. What the fuck do I write? Something that flatters her back, returns her
feelings, something…

…um…

Nothing came to me and Alice got sick of waiting. She smiled with a subtle
shake of her head and wrote:

Do you like me?

Ah, finally a question I didn't have to break my head over.

yes

How much?

Now it gets more complicated. How much? I don't know, how many pages are left
in the notebook? I'd need a fucking novella to explain how much I liked her.
Dammit! Think, Bella, think! Something smart, something flirty, something that
subtly hints at my total willingness to engage in any and every sexual act
she'd ever ask of me. Something, anything! NOW!

a lot

Oh, bravo, Bella. Such style, such piquant wit. You ought to be a poet. Really.

With a hot face I checked to see if she was finally questioning whether or not
she should just dump me and find a new one. But she seemed to find my romantic
ineptitude charming. She gave me a lazy smile and flickered her eyes over my
blushing face. There was a rosy glow in her own cheeks and then she bent to
write again.

You look like you want to jump me again. It's making me hot.

Oh good god.

A blood vessel almost burst in my head as I read it. The girl truly was a
demon. I swallowed a lump in my throat, my face so hot I felt like fainting.

i'll try not to

Is that the correct spelling of to? Or is it supposed to be double O? In any
case, it hardly seemed important, or relevant. More important was Alice's
reply.

Don't try too hard.

She used double O. But again, not important. My underwear was getting a tad
moist and my breasts felt warm all the sudden. When I didn't reply, she
smirked, and wrote again.

I like it when you jump me.

I stared at the words, rational thought officially failing me. My synapses
resumed after a second or two, and it occurred to me that if I jumped her and
mauled her to the floor, I'd probably get expelled, but strangely this didn't
seem so important. I looked at her, at her pretty face, the teacher's voice
droning unheard in the background. Those lips. So pink and glossy. If I could
just kiss her, just once, and maybe cop a feel while I'm at it, one hand up her
top, just—

She wrote something.

Raise your hand.

I was confused, but I did it. Her wish is my command and all.

"What is it, Miss Swan?" the teacher called out, pausing mid-lecture.

"Er…" I lowered my hand, stealing a glance at Alice's next note.

You have to go to the bathroom.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

The teacher gestured at the door. "Go ahead, be quick."

When I stood up I discovered my knees were weak. I stumbled just slightly but
recovered quickly not to embarrass myself. I shot a glance at Alice, anxious
and a little hurt. Was she sending me away because she was worried I'd actually
do something. And I was controlling myself so good, too. Well, maybe I was
slipping a little bit, but…

But she only smiled back with a mysteriously sexy smile that I had no time to
analyze. I cut my eyes across the room, making sure no one had noticed my
arousal, but thankfully a girl's excitement is more subtle than a guy's. If I
was a guy I'd be walking out with my textbooks over my crotch instead of simply
stumbling out on weak knees like a drunk.

Once I was out in the hallway I stood around wondering what I was supposed to
do. What was Alice's plan here? The hopeful part of my brain suggested that she
was going to somehow get out class and meet me. Why? Well, sex would be the
optimistic conclusion. Where? I don't know. Her car?

But no, optimism is simply the prelude to disappointment. It was more likely
she just wanted me out of the room before I made a scene. Which, let's face it,
looked likely. I'll probably never be the kind of girl prone to public sex
acts—even in private I'm very self-conscious—but the hunger I felt for her was
overwhelming. It was like something supernatural whispering in my ear,
something that took me over whenever it wanted, something seductive and
irresistible. Just like her.

I huffed a little sigh, pacing the corridor, waiting for something, no idea
what. Grudgingly I suppose I had to admit that it was smart of her to get rid
of me like that. Before I embarrassed myself. Nice of her, really. To protect
me from myself. Like I'm some frothing sex fiend with no control. Hmph. Who
does she think she is, anyway? I'm a grown woman capable of making my own
decisions, and if I want to maul my girlfriend in the middle of class like a
rabid wolverine, then that's my decision. It's not up to her to—

The door to the biology lap swung open and Alice sailed out with a smile,
closing the door behind her. My anger evaporated in an instant and I approached
her like a fawning servant.

"Alice, what—"

She pulled me away from the door and wrapped me into a kiss. Her arms closed
around my back, one at the nape of my neck, and her tongue slithered into my
mouth.

My hornyness spiked and I was just getting into the kiss when she broke it
suddenly. I almost stumbled into her, I'd been leaning into her mouth so
longingly.

She had taken my hand and she was tugging me down the corridor.

"Alice, what's going on?" I asked breathless, stumbling on weak knees to catch
up.

She smirked over her shoulder, tugging me along. "What do you think?"

I almost squealed. I could've been coy and pretended not to understand her, but
the heat in her eyes left no room for doubt. She was taking me somewhere where
we could, to put it elegantly, ravish each other in private.

Yay!

She lead me to nearest bathroom and dropped to her hands and knees to check
beneath the stall doors. Hands and knees. Ass in the air. The waistband of her
jeans had slipped slightly and I could see the lace of her skyblue panties
underneath. I stared opened mouthed and if I was an animal I would've mounted
the poor girl right there.

She rose, dusting her knees. "It's empty—"

As she turned I pulled her into a kiss, hunger overwhelming me. She made a
little squeal and giggled into my mouth, but she also had the presence of mind
to back up into one of the stalls, fumbling with the lock and latching it shut
behind us.

It wasn't the most romantic of conditions—just me, my soulmate, and a
toilet—but I wasn't in the most romantic mood. I was in a lusty mood and I
wanted her too much to care. Her mouth tasted amazing and I was attacking it
with little moaning sounds, one hand in her hair. She had her face lifted up to
mine and her arms around my neck. She arched her pelvis into me and suddenly I
reached down and grabbed a handful of her jean-clad ass.

It was a genuine halleluiah moment. In the short time I'd known her, her ass
had become my favorite feature, but I'd never had the guts to make a grab. But
I did now. And even through the fabric of her jeans it was bliss. I squeezed it
and held on as I kissed her.

She giggled and broke the kiss just a little to speak into my mouth. "It feels
better from the inside…" she told me breathily, as she unbuttoned her jeans and
unzipped the.

At first I couldn't believe my ears. Permission to grab her ass? My heart
swelled till I thought it would burst with anticipation and then I stuck my
hand into her jeans and—

Oh god.

So soft! So warm! The thin cotton of her panties was nothing, a thin and flimsy
barrier between my hand and the loveliest ass in existence. I felt like weeping
tears of bliss but instead I captured her mouth and groped her a little bit,
getting a good handful, squeezing, slipping my hand into her panties. Her skin
was so smooth and so soft, soft but firm—fucking perfect, in other words. My
heart was racing and I kept kissing her and massaging her ass. She had put one
of her own hands to work up my top and I felt I was going to climax before we
even got to the good stuff.

"Oh god I want you, Alice," I gasped into her mouth.

"Go ahead," she gasped back. "But be quick. You're not the only one who's
hungry."

I dropped to my knees as if I'd tripped and I yanked her jeans and her panties
around her knees. She stood on her toes in her sneakers and took handfuls of my
hair and held me to her. I licked for a bit, fumbling with my tongue against
her slick womanhood—still no idea really what I was doing—and then my lips
found her clit and latched on, suckling at it furiously. She pushed her pelvis
into my face, hands scrunching in my hair, and in response I stuck a finger
inside her.

It must've taken her by surprise. She gave a tiny gasp and let it out in a
satisfying moan. It was only one finger but it seemed to be what she needed.
I'd been aiming for two but my hand was shaky and I couldn't really see what I
was doing. I was still licking her hard little nub with my tongue, suckling on
it. It was the first time I'd really paid attention to her clit and I found
that I liked it, the little pearl in my mouth and that exquisite warmth
clenching on my fingers.

I started pumping my finger and eventually I added a second. My free hand was
simply clamped to her hip for support, but if I'd had the balance and the
presence of mind, I would've love to enjoy her ass a little more.

Her breathing had quickened and she was pushing her hips at me in a rhythm with
my fingers. Finally she came, her breath hitching in a little cry, raising just
a little higher on her toes. I withdrew my fingers and licked her a little and
as she sagged back on her heels I was eyelevel with her belly. Holding her
hips, I looked up at her, kneeing at her feet and licking my lips
unconsciously. A wave of love washed over me, watching the satisfaction ebb
over her flushed face. She looked down at me and gave me one of her little
smiles before she wriggled back into her jeans coyly and buttoned them up.

"Come here," she said, lifting me by my shoulders and seating me on the closed
lid of the toilet. "It's my turn."

I was a little embarrassed to be sitting on a toilet, but my pussy was
throbbing too demandingly to insist on something more elegant. Alice didn't
look like she wanted to be stopped anyway. Her eyes were lidded and hungry. She
knelt at my feet and tugged down my pants around my knees and then she ducked
her head underneath and mashed her lips against my pussy.

I knew it was coming but it took me by surprise. My legs were in the air and I
almost fell off as I recoiled under the sudden tongue lashing. I leaned back
and grabbed out for something to hold and accidentally flushed the toilet. The
sound of water was soul-crushingly embarrassing, but thankfully Alice didn't
seem to notice, or care. She slipped her tongue inside me and I was seriously
struggling to stay sitting up. I felt like flopping back like a boneless fish
and trickling to the floor in a puddle.

My chest was heaving and a soft cry was coming out with each gasp. My pussy
felt like it was going to explode. I don't know why it felt so good, but it
did, the best ever. Her tongue was curling inside me and my legs were wrapped
around her head. It's kind of shameful how quickly I came, but in my defense,
I'm am a hormonal teenager. And it's not like I was trying to hold it back. It
wanted to come, I wanted her tongue to make me come, I wanted to explode from
how good she made me feel, and when I came I came gushing. I moaned, my back
arching in a shuddering spasm, and I almost fell off the toilet again.

I think I blacked out for a couple seconds. It was ridiculous how great that
one was. When my eyes fluttered open I pulled up my pants and tried to arrange
myself. I was still breathing too heavy to talk. Alice had risen and was
dusting her kneecaps with a few hand swipes.

"Well," she said. "This is exactly why I wanted to take it slow." She gave me a
prim smile and glanced about skeptically. "I mean, really. In a toilet?"

I chuckled. "But it was awesome."

"You liked that?"

My answer was a goofy grin. Understatement. It was amazing.

"Poor Bella," she said, lifting me to my feet by the hand. She held me, arms
around my middle. "I've treated you so poorly, haven't I? Wait till I have you
all to myself some night. You'll have my full attention then and they'll be no
more of this quick stuff. I'll have you all to myself and I'll treat you
exactly like you deserve."

I grinned shyly. The glow of my fading climax made me a little flirty, a little
bold. "I'll take whatever I can get," I told her.

I thought it was a nice line—and I was quite proud of myself—but it had the
opposite effect on her. It seemed to sober her a little. She smiled but her
eyes flickered away before flickering back. "Well, in any case," she said, "we
should get back to class."

I felt a wave of disappointment. I knew we couldn't stay in the bathroom
forever, but I had Alice, here in my arms, and couldn't we just—

"And I should apologize," she added. "For taking advantage of you like that."

I almost laughed. The notion that a girl as hot as her could possibly take
advantage of a girl like me was ridiculous. She could smack me in the face with
a lunch tray and I'd be grateful.

"You didn't," I told her. "That's stupid."

"That's nice of you to say," she said, "but I did, whether you realize or not."
She chuckled, almost to herself. She was still holding me, our bodies touching,
and she looked up into my face with a shy smile. "I'm afraid I've become
slightly addicted to you," she said softly. "You're body is almost as desirable
to me as your blood."

I failed to see the downside of this. I grinned. "Cool."

Alice ignored me. "But maybe…" she went on, again almost to herself. "Maybe
this is the best way to cope with this. With our… feelings. Maybe we should
stop fighting it. And just be natural. What do you think?"

I nodded, a little confused. Since when were we fighting it? Maybe she was, but
I sure as hell wasn't. Am I supposed too? Why? She's so hot!

Dimly I was aware I should be more serious about this—the girl has very sharp
teeth, after all—but two things overrode everything else. The first thing was
the desire to please her and agree with everything she said. And the second
thing was the desire to, well, have sex with her again someday.

To be honest, there was still a part of mind that wasn't fully-committed to any
of this. It all still seemed so dream-like. Vampire? Blood? My life in danger?
Yeah right. More likely I'd wake up in a psyche-ward somewhere under heavy
medication.

So I just smiled. Like an idiot. Alice was pretty and I wanted to make Alice
happy, so I nodded and said: "Sure, that sounds okay."

But she only shook her head, smiling sadly, like a girl who knows she's only
kidding herself. She seemed sad all the sudden and I wondered what the hell was
going on in her head. It wasn't the first time I'd noticed her demeanor
flipping around like this and I was beginning to feel she knew something I
didn't. Something bad. About us. Or about what's going to happen to us.

She let me go and took a step back. I missed her warmth instantly.

"You'd better go back to class first," she said, straightening her top. "I'll
be right behind you, kay?"

"Okay," I said reluctantly. "Is my hair alright?"

She smiled, her cutesy façade instantly restored. "It's perfect," she said,
tucking a lock behind my ear. "Just like you. Now go on," she said with a wink.
"Before I eat you up all over again."

I giggled—me giggling—and she gave me a quick kiss and a pat on the rump to
send me on my way.

—

By tomorrow morning the stares were worse. Alice again met me at the front
gates with a smile and the inexplicable need to hold my hand. Yesterday we'd
only been stared by people who knew me, people in my own grade. But now it
seemed the whole school was staring, juniors, seniors, sophomores. Everyone
seemed to know there was a legitimate gay couple walking around in broad
daylight. Which, in a school with a population of less than five hundred, was a
pretty big deal.

The hand holding only made it worse, but the attention didn't bother Alice, and
I didn't have the heart to tell her to back off a little, at least in public.
Part of me wasn't sure I even wanted her too, anyway. I was scared of losing
the few friends I had—it's so sad that I actually think of them like that—but
Alice's touch and Alice's companionship were far more important.

But of course it's not that simple, is it?

Alice can't be around twenty-four seven. It was great that she managed to get
transferred into a couple of my classes, but it still left the majority of the
day Alice-free. Like yesterday. She holds my hand, she kisses me in public, and
it's great…but she's not the one who gets weird looks from her friends. She
retreats into her own little world with her sisters and I'm left with an
ominous Lauren, an awkward Angela, and a bunch of faux-friends who can barely
bring themselves to talk to me. Is the public affection really worth it?

Well, yeah.

But still. It sucks that people can't look the other fucking way for two
seconds while we go past.

Tuesday morning were worse than Mondays, and this morning included the added
trauma of an encounter with Lauren outside homeroom. Alice had walked me, hands
clasped of course, and my stomach was twisting as we the approached the small
group of them, Lauren, Angela, and Jessica. They were loitering in the hallway,
the class still locked. They were laughing about something, but they stopped
laughing when they saw us. Lauren looked at us, flickered her eyes over our
clasped hands, and very clearly she said:

"Ugh."

You really have to admire the girl's power of expression. One word, or not even
a word, just a syllable, and so much disgust, so much distain. Such petty and
ill-placed contempt. She should be an actress. She has the looks for it, and
the personality, too. A bitchy self-centered blonde with sharply defined
features. Kind of cliché, really.

Jessica gave me a requite glance of disgust, but Angela gave me a friendly nod.
Awkwardness aside, she seemed to be the only one who didn't automatically
condemn my new relationship as the grossest thing ever. I think she was kind of
fascinated, in a strange way. As if she hadn't believed two girl's could
actually be girlfriends and was still astounded at the proof.

Alice ignored them, predictably, turned to me. I realized she planned to kiss
me and felt a quick spasm of panic. Right here? In front of Lauren?

"I'd better get to class," she said, smiling. "See you later."

The panic must've shown on my face, but she ignored that too. She raised her
face to mine and placed a kiss on my lips, chaste but deliberate, and I was hit
with such a of conflict of love, panic, warmth, and anxiety that I felt like
I'd been microwaved.

"Jeez, that's disgusting."

Lauren's voice, of course.

"Do you really have to do that in public?"

She was talking to Alice. I'd stepped back and I was in the process of tucking
hair behind my ear in attempt to pretend nothing happened. Alice smiled at her.

"As a matter of fact, I do," she said, taking my arm and slipping her hand into
mine. "I'm helpless not to."

I got the impression that there was some vampire subtext in her words that
maybe I was supposed to understand, but I had no idea what. Lauren snorted and
looked at Alice with her usual distain.

"You're a freak," she said plainly.

Alice smiled and cocked her head cutely. "How did you know?"

Ooh.

Even I shivered from that one.

Lauren's face went pale at the implication—that Alice was, in fact, a freak—but
she kept her voice flat, which was somehow worse than her usual snickering.

"That's disgusting."

It wasn't the most creative taunt I'd ever heard from her, but it seemed all
she was capable of at the moment. Alice smiled.

"You keep saying that," she said, "but do you really think so?"

"Yeah," Lauren snarled. "I really think so."

"That's sad. Don't you have any sense of adventure?"

"Fuck you," Lauren spat. "You know, if you're such a freak, why don't you go do
that shit up in the computer room where there's webcams? Do it online if you
want an audience, you stupid lesbian slut, and in the mean time why don't you
just fuck off so I don't have to look at your disgusting face anymore?"

Jessica had to cover her mouth to smoother a flurry of mean giggles and even
Angela smirked. I was just flabbergasted. I'd been Lauren's target practice for
years, but such venom was foreign even to me. This wasn't mean Lauren, this was
villain Lauren. It didn't seem to make a dent in Alice, but still. It was
scary.

I mean, I could understand why Lauren would tease me—a gay teenager with cheap
clothes is simple prey for any bully with a decent vocabulary—but this was
Alice she was talking to. Sweet, cute, adorable little Alice. Calling her names
seemed a lot like kicking a puppy. It was beyond mean; it was evil.

I guess she really is a soulless bitch.

But Alice only smiled and gave me a glance that I didn't understand. There was
not a single trace of hurt in her eyes, no hurt, no anger, no fear. Those
beautiful honey-colored pools were undisturbed by anything at all other than
the same untouchable smile she always wore, and without reacting to Lauren, she
touched my shoulder and placed a kiss on my lips.

"I'd better go," she said softly. "I'll see you in history."

I was burning with embarrassment and fear of what Lauren was going to say when
she was gone, but I summoned up a smile for her. She smiled back and then she
turned and continued down the hall. As she passed Lauren she gave the blonde a
lingering stare that made both Jessica and Angela cringe away awkwardly. But
Lauren stared back. She blushed under Alice's eyes, but she didn't look away,
and then Alice was gone.

I adjusted the strap of my bag and shuffled over awkwardly. I knew Alice's
interference was only going to make things worse and I wasn't wrong.

Lauren looked at me coldly. "So you wear your hair down now, huh?"

I gave a fragile smile and nodded. As if I expected a compliment and not some
shattering insult. Lauren snorted, no smile, no snicker, just meanness.

"Whatever," she muttered. "You're still an ugly dyke."

Jessica and Angela shared a glance, but neither smirked or offered additional
comment. I smiled a brittle smile, pretending it was just a joke—ha ha ha—and
Lauren shook her head disdainfully, turned away, and started talking about
something else.

I was depressed for the rest of the day, understandably, and the depression
carried over into Wednesday and Thursday. Alice was my one ray of sunshine, but
I hadn't seen her outside of school all week, and I was starting to get
depressed about that as well. I wanted to hang out with her, but I couldn't
figure out how. I wouldn't be comfortable at her place because of her sisters,
and I wouldn't be comfortable at my place because of mom, and I wasn't outgoing
enough to be comfortable outside, which left where?

Alice wasn't doing much to further the relationship either. Despite the sudden
desire for the intimacy of hand holding, she was still withheld in other ways.
I hadn't detected her scent in my room in the mornings since last week, and she
didn't seem to be in any hurry for a second date. I know we've only been
together a few days, technically, but I loved her so much it felt like we
should be married with kids by now.

But it wasn't all doom and gloom. It was nice having some classes with Alice,
and I got to see her everyday, so all in all I guess I shouldn't be
complaining. Wednesday afternoon we had a chance encounter in the hallways that
turned into a quickie in an empty classroom. It was wonderful, but she didn't
propose to me directly after, so by Thursday morning I was depressed again.

The worst thing was Lauren. Over the last few days she seemed to have
progressed from recreational bullying to a full-blown vendetta. Every time I
saw her was a trauma of teasing and homophobic mocking, but I continued
following her around like a whipped puppy regardless. Because, frankly, I had
no one else to hang around with when Alice wasn't around. Not even Angela.
Angela was nice—most of the time—but she had other friends who took precedence
over me, and sometimes there weren't any seats nearby, anyway.

Last class of the day was PE, which had always been the joy of my academic
career. There's nothing I love more than being picked last for teams, dawdling
outside the locker rooms till everyone else was gone, and fearing for my life
on the dodgeball court. I could write a screenplay for a musical with my
experiences.

Still, PE was one of the classes Alice had transferred into, which gave me
hope. But like many things that begin hopeful it ultimately ended in tragedy.
We were playing dodgeball.

And Alice was on the other team.

Some days I'm convinced the universe hates me. Days like today. Alice was
holding my hand as the teams were called, the two of us standing off to the
side from the main group, and she trudged away with such a look of sadness over
her shoulder that it made me feel a little better. Oh well. At least they'll be
one person across the court who isn't literally trying to kill me.

Lauren was also on the other team, just in case I wasn't positive of the
cruelty of fate's plan. She looked like she'd be more comfortable with throwing
knives than dodgeballs, but I could tell from the look she gave me that she'd
try her best to maim me regardless.

Angela was also on the opposite team, but I wasn't worried about her. Chick
throws like a girl.

When the teams were assembled, the coach blew the whistle, and the fun began.
To be honest, I don't know why I even try. I had no idea if dodgeball
survivability was factored into our final gym grade, but I figured I better
just do my best. So I did. Staggering over the court with my arms flailing like
a spastic. Tripping, falling, getting up again.

I lasted quite a long time, despite being a popular target, and I even got the
ball once. I stood there for a second, puffed out and sweaty, casting about for
a target. I saw Lauren in her gym clothes, shorts and a t-shirt, slim legs,
flat chest, ash blonde hair. She wasn't the closest target or the easiest but I
threw it anyway. She saw it coming and caught the ball easily, almost as if I'd
passed it like a basketball. She smirked and called to her teammates:

"Get the dyke!"

My heart sank, but I felt a queer excitement at making her smile again. She
threw the ball and I twisted away wildly.

"Lauren!" the coach barked. "What did I say about using that word?!"

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she said, still grinning, and then she
gestured at one of her teammates who had a ball. "Get the freak!"

"Lauren!" the coach barked. "One more time and that's detention!"

But Lauren just snickered and threw another ball. Her teammates followed suit.
They laughed and threw lazily, more wanting to torment me than actually hit me.
My own teammates had started to grin and one by one they backed off to the
edges of the court, leaving me in the middle to fend for my life against this
unfair onslaught. Soon I became the only target. Lauren was barking orders and
demanding the ball. They grinned and taunted me with fake throws, laughing when
I'd jerk into motion and stop again. The game seemed to have degenerated into a
medieval stoning, with me encircled by a mob, cringing away from the balls at
they flew past my head. No one on my team was being targeted and every single
member of the other team was targeting me.

I was no stranger to being persecuted, but this seemed a bit too much, even for
me. I mean, seriously; the whole class? Pointing and grinning and laughing at
my discomfort? Jeez. Why don't they just tie me to a stake and burn me alive
while they're at it?

The coach was watching disapprovingly, but hesitated with the whistle,
obviously assuming I'd be out in a minute. I hoped I would be. I wasn't even
trying to dodge anymore, but they wouldn't hit me. They just smirked and threw
close, laughing at how I'd flinch and cringe, calling out taunts, daring me to
throw back.

Only Angela and Alice didn't take part. They were both standing aside, Angela
with a frown, Alice with a deadly calmness.

"Close your eyes, Bella!" Lauren called, forced into using my name by the
coach's threat. "This one's gonna hurt!"

Everyone waited for Lauren to get the finishing blow but then Alice stepped up
and snatched the ball out of her hands.

"Hey, what the—!"

Frowns blossomed over the court, their fun interrupted. Alice ignored them. She
stepped up to the line and threw the ball at my chest. I didn't cringe or even
attempt to dodge. It bounced off me and rolled away.

Silence on the court. I grinned to myself, breathing heavy. Mercy-kill. It was
a dramatic moment, Shakespearian by highschool standards. I smiled at her and
she gave me a smile back and then she crossed the court, took my hand, and led
me away to the benches.

"Dumb dykes," Lauren called after us bitterly.

"Lauren!" the coach barked. "That's detention, today and tomorrow!"

The coach watched us go but didn't make an issue about Alice ditching the game.
It was pretty obvious we were a couple and I guess the coach was sympathetic to
our difficulties.

Alice led me to the bench and sat me down. For once I had no problem with the
hand holding—in fact, I loved it. Her touch calmed me and transported me away
from all this, the jeering of my classmates, the unfairness. She smiled and
patted my hand.

"Sorry," she said, with a slight playfulness. "I promised to protect you when
we played dodgeball, but I couldn't bare to see you suffer like that. I had to
put you out of your misery."

I chuckled and covered her hand with my own. "Thanks."

She giggled and then she wrapped an arm around me and held me. I snuggled
close, not caring if anyone had a problem, and yet…there was still a twinge of
anxiety. It would probably be a while before I got the hang of this public
affection, but for now I was content to put up with the minor discomfort. The
warmth of Alice's touch was worth it.

The game resumed without us and most of them had already forgotten the incident
and were having fun again. All but Lauren. She glared at me where I was
snuggled against Alice, and for the first time I realized there was something
else in her eyes, something that wasn't disgust or simple meanness. But what?
Could it be …

Jealousy?

The thought made me flush uncomfortably. As ridiculous as the idea was, that's
what it looked like. Or felt like. Not just jealousy, but hurt, betrayal,
denial. But no, that was ridiculous. I'd always known that Lauren wasn't as
homophobic as she seemed—she only used those words because she knew they were
hurtful—but there was no possible way she was into girls, and even if she was,
she would never be into me. Ever.

Lauren had gone back to the game and I looked away, deciding not to think about
it. But the truth is, I've thought about it before. Lots of times. But only as
a fantasy. Alice had always been the girl of my dreams, but that's all she was;
a dream. Lauren was the reality. Deep in my heart I'd always wished her
bullying might be a cover for denial or something, but a wish is just as
ridiculous as a dream. I knew it would never happen. Lauren was straight, and
even if she was secretly gay or bi, she'd never sacrifice her popularity to be
with a loser like me.

It was too stupid to even think about, especially now with Alice's arm wrapped
around me. It was stupid to think Lauren was jealous. She was probably just
turning into a real homophobe, one that legitimately hates gays. Maybe before
she was only having fun teasing me, but maybe now that I actually have a
girlfriend, maybe now she truly hates me. That defiantly makes more sense than
jealousy.

Anyway, it's best not to think about it. I have Alice now, and Lauren can go
fuck herself.

PE was over shortly after that. The bell rang and the game broke up instantly.
The coach blew the whistle and barked a few orders, reminding Lauren about her
detention. She shot a glare at me and Alice, still sitting on the bench, and
then she stalked away for the locker room.

"Okay," the coach barked, "I'm gonna need two volunteers to pack all this stuff
away."

No one raised a hand. It was the end of the day and everyone wanted to go home.
I would've volunteered myself, as an excuse to shower last after everyone was
gone, but I didn't want to risk being separated from Alice. I was about to ask
her if she wanted to, but she beat me to it. She smiled and rose from the
bench.

"Me and Bella will do it."

Everyone breathed sighs of relief and the class soon broke up. Me and Alice
gathered up the dodgeballs slowly, not hurrying, making idle chit chat. It
occurred to me half way through that me and Alice would likely be alone in the
showers. Naked. Just us. The thought made me blush and I hoped the same thing
occurred to Alice. I'd never be able to make a move as bold as shower-sex in a
school locker room, so it was all up to her.

We put all the dodgeballs away in the storage room and put away all the other
equipment that was used and then we went for our showers. We'd taken our time
with the cleaning up so, happily, the locker rooms were utterly empty. Just me
and her and rows of showerheads.

I was blushing again and I turned to make some flirty comment—just to let her
know I was down—but the comment died on my lips.

Alice was undressing.

She'd just pulled off her top—black bra—and now she hah her thumbs hooked in
the waistband of her shorts. I'd seen her undress before class, of course, but
it's kind of a different thing when you're all alone and outright staring.
So…suggestive. She took off her shorts and, well, her ass was still incredible.

"What's the matter?" she asked innocently, dropping her panties.

"O-oh," I stuttered, blushing, turning away. "Nothing…"

I pulled off my top and tossed it onto one of the benches. By the time I'd
taken off all my clothes one of the showers had started. The showers were
organized into little booths, each ringed by a pink shower curtain for privacy.
Alice hadn't drawn the curtain, and she was standing beneath the water, naked,
her eyes closed and the water slowly soaking her hair, water dripping from her
nipples, funneling down her back, the water hot and steaming.

I stared.

Gulp.

Alice caught me watching and giggled. "Well?" she said. "What are you waiting
for?"

There were multiple ways I could've interpreted that, but it was most likely
she was asking why wasn't I showering, as opposed to why wasn't I ravishing her
senseless instead of just staring. The former was more logical.

I went over, but I didn't take the shower right next to her, I went one over,
leaving some space between us. If I'd been a little bolder, I might've asked if
we could share, or if she needed someone to do her back, but shyness makes a
girl stupid. I even reached for the shower curtain.

"Leave the curtain open," Alice said, already soaping herself up. "So we can
talk easier."

I felt a flash of excitement. "O-okay…"

Alice giggled and watched me as I started washing myself. I felt self-conscious
all the sudden and I wondered how I looked. The only thing I was wearing was
wet hair, but is that a good look on me? Big tits, sure, but what about the
rest of the goods? I wasn't quite sure, but at the very least I made an effort
to improve my posture. I took some of the slump out of my shoulders and
straightened my back, the warm water cascading over my sensitive skin. Does
Alice like what she sees? Well, she's not gagging. That's gotta count for
something.

Alice smiled, as if she knew exactly what I was thinking about. "You have a
beautiful body, Bella," she said. "You should be more confident. At least with
me."

I blushed. "I do?"

She nodded. "Mmhm, very beautiful. Take it from me. I've been a connoisseur of
the female form for a very long time."

I chuckled shyly. "Not as hot as you, though."

"Aww, shucks," Alice giggled. She smiled and gave me a coy little pose, naked
under the shower. "Do you really think so?"

I watched the water runnel over her body, between her breasts, between her
legs, my face slowly turning red. "S-sure."

"Aww, that's so sweet. Hey, wanna have some fun?"

"What do you mean?"

She smiled and glanced around the empty locker room, as if to make sure we were
alone, and then she turned off her shower. "What I mean," she said, sauntering
over to me, "is that I think there's something on your leg there."

I frowned puzzledly and looked at my leg. "Where?"

"Don't worry, you'll never see it." She plucked the bar of soap from my hand
and smiled impishly. "You'd better let me get it for you."

"O-oh."

Suddenly the charade became clear. Seduction in the showers. Smooth. I wish I
knew how to be that bold.

She'd sidled around behind me and suddenly I felt her soapy hand on my leg, on
the back of my thigh, rubbing up and down gently. Self-consciously I wondered
if there actually was a smudge of something back there—maybe I slipped and fell
across a grease slick without realizing—but mostly I just swooned at the touch.
It was teasing and soft and my pussy was already throbbing dully in response.

"There," she whispered in my ear, naked breasts pressing into my back. "I think
I got it."

"T-thanks," I stuttered, as she started kissing the nape of my neck. I could
feel the kisses against the film of wet hair stuck to my neck, but then she
pulled away the hair and kissed my skin, making me shiver. Her other hand, the
soapy one, climbed over my hip and caressed my waist and climbed again to cup
one of my breasts.

Maybe it was the thrill of doing it in a public place—albeit in private—or the
thrill of living out a favorite fantasy—albeit in the fantasy there were more
girls—but whatever it was, it was driving me wild. She'd barely touched me and
for barely two minutes, but I could feel myself quivering with anticipation. I
wanted to turn around and press my wet naked body into hers and force her hand
between my legs, but I couldn't. The anticipation paralyzed me and all I could
do was stand there.

She was placing kisses on my bare shoulder.

"Do you like this, Bella?"

God, I love how she says my name.

"Y-yeah."

Her tongue flicked out across my neck—over my jugular.

"I like this too," she whispered. "I like…touching you."

I smiled shyly. "Cool."

She had the bar of soap in her other hand and she was massaging it over my
breasts and then she dropped the soap and used her hands, kneading them slowly
and squeezing, her hands smooth as silk against my slippery flesh. Weirdly, it
felt more romantic than erotic. You'd think getting your boobs soaped and
groped in the locker room after class would be kind of cheap, but it totally
wasn't. It was one of the most romantic moments of my life.

I could feel her body pressed against mine, warm and wet, and her arms were
around me, and her hands… It was heaven. My eyes were closed and I let myself
drift in her warm embrace, swaying back against her. She was so goddamn warm.
And the warm water, the warm hands, the warm lips on my shoulder. She had my
nipples between her thumbs and forefingers and she was teasing them gently and
slowly getting rougher. She pinched them and made me gasp. She pulled them and
plucked them. I moaned. She twisted them just gently and I squirmed into her,
my body shuddering, moaning aloud.

I could feel the climax building between my legs and she hadn't even touched me
there. I was going to come from nothing but her nipple teasing and the thought
only made me more excited.

Suddenly she stopped. I gasped, my eyes snapping open. My breath was all
trembling and as I turned around she wrapped her arms around me, our naked
fronts pressed together. Her short black hair was stuck all over her forehead
and her wet face was breathlessly sexy. Her eyes were smoky and lidded. She was
almost glaring at me.

"You are so fucking hot…" she whispered.

I was too frazzled to have much reaction beyond a spike of excitement, but if
I'd been capable of intelligent thought, I'm sure I wouldn't have believed her.
It was sweet of her to say, though.

Gripping my hips, she pushed me back into the wall firmly, the cold tiles
making me gasp. Her hands were at my breasts again, stroking them, teasing
them, making my head roll. Her lips at my neck, sucking at my pulse point. She
squeezed my breasts harshly, her teeth grazing my throat. I could feel her
desire to bite me, to pierce my flesh, to sink her teeth into me, and I felt no
hesitation. I wanted her to do it. I didn't care that we were at school, that
the last time had put me in hospital. I wanted to be hers, I wanted her to mark
me, own me, bite me. My pussy felt ready to burst and I wanted to give her
everything for making me feel this way, my heart, my body, my blood, I wanted
her to have everything, to take everything.

But she didn't. Not now, at least.

She released a ragged breath against my throat and then she dropped one hand
between my legs and groped my pussy roughly. I cried out with surprise and
excitement. I pushed my hips at her and she pushed back with her chest, bumping
me back into the wall. She looked into my face, watching me with smoky cat's
eyes, and I looked back. I groaned at her and I grabbed her hand, holding it
between my legs, grinding on it urgently. My eyes were open, face burning, and
I was panting into her face, staring helplessly into her smoldering eyes. She
found my clit, pinched it, and—

The orgasm exploded inside me like a firecracker. I let out a cry—I couldn't
help it—and my knees gave out. I collapsed at her feet on the cold tiles,
gasping for breath, swallowing with my dry mouth. It was incredible. Best yet.

When my eyes opened, the first thing I saw was Alice's small feet. Pink toe
polish. Cute little toes. I lifted my eyes, my gaze roaming over the pearly
length of her legs. I was eye level with her pussy and when I saw it I felt my
stomach clench with hunger. I grabbed her hips and lunged at it with my tongue
out.

She was wet and hot and she'd been waiting for it. She hooked a leg over my
shoulder and she had handfuls of my wet hair. She held my face against her and
she came almost as quick as I did, grinding her hips against my face, moaning
in rythymed. I didn't do anything but try to get my tongue as far inside her as
I could. Her climax clenched around my tongue and I heard her make a similar
cry as I did. She let me lick her a little more and then she undraped her leg
from around my neck and flopped down onto the tiles beside me.

We sat there, naked, wet, breathing heavy. The shower was still going and we
started at each other, neither smiling, both knowing that something had been
held back.

I spoke first.

"You were going to bite me."

It wasn't a question. She nodded tiredly.

"Why didn't you?"

This one was a question. But she didn't really answer it.

"A couple more days…" she murmured. "I can wait a couple more days…"

I smiled timidly and touched her hand to show her I wasn't afraid of her. And I
wasn't. Maybe that showed a startling lack of self-preservation, but I knew in
my heart she didn't want to hurt me, and even if she did, I could probably
forgive her. I had enormous powers of forgiveness.

I caressed her hand gently. "Do a couple days really matter?"

I didn't see how a couple days could mean anything, and I was ready to offer
myself right then if she wanted, especially if it would help deepen our
relationship.

But she nodded solemnly and withdrew her hand.

"To me, it matters…" she whispered, not looking at me. "To me, every minute
matters…"

I didn't know what to say. She was being very vague and very mysterious—ominous
even. She'd said it in a sad tone, so I figured she didn't want to talk about
it, but I was wrong. If she didn't want to talk about it, she wouldn't have
said anything. What she really wanted was for me to question her and force her
to explain. But I didn't get it.

Finally she rose and rinsed off under the shower. Then she turned it off and
walked past, without looking at me, and went to get changed. I jumped up to
follow, but by the time I caught up with her, she was gone.

—

I went home thinking about Alice, went to sleep thinking about Alice, and
walked to school the next thinking about Alice. She was waiting by the front
gate's, as usual, and my heart started racing at the sight of her.

It was Friday, and I'd gotten more used to the hand holding, maybe because
everyone else had, too. The rumors had circulated, the gossip had died down,
and no one really cared any more.

Or so I thought.

We had history in the morning. There was no seating chart and me and Alice
weren't lucky enough to get seats next to each other. There was no Lauren in
history, though, so I managed to get a seat next to Angela, which was second
best to Alice. It was a huge gap, of course, but it was a huge gap between
Angela and anyone else, too.

Still, I was sad that I couldn't sit next to Alice. We only had four classes
together—and no biology on Fridays—and I hated to waste any of them. Forty
minutes with Alice across the room, so close but so far. Sadness was
appropriate. Maybe a little jealously, too. And who the hell is that brunette
she's talking to?

Alice was sitting beside some pretty brunette and the two of them were chatting
away as if they were best friends. They'd only met half an hour ago, for god
sake. Is Alice into her? Is she cuter than me? Is she into girls? Probably not,
statistically speaking, but Alice was cute enough to transcend preference, in
my opinion. Who wouldn't do her? You'd have to be more than straight, you'd
have to be a frickin ruler.

Angela had noticed me staring and smiled.

"So," she said, snapping me out of it. "How's things between you and Alice?"

Instantly I was suspicious, reserved, on guard. She'd known about me and Alice
for a week, almost, and this was the first time she'd mentioned it. Why?

I don't know, but her tone was shy, and she wasn't really looking at me, so
maybe she was just trying to be nice, or make conversation. Angela was the most
tolerant person I knew, but I didn't want to weird her out, so I just shrugged.

"Good," I said. "Why?"

She shrugged right back. She was pretending to be casual but I could tell she
was nervous. "Just curious, that's all. Hey, can I ask you a question?"

I frowned slightly. "Sure."

She leaned to me slightly and lowered her voice, as if she didn't want anyone
to hear. "How did you two get together?" she asked.

Awkward question. What was I supposed to say? That I had a dream of her
crawling through my window and the dream came true? I don't think so.

Instead I pretended not to understand. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know," she said. "How did you know she was… like you?"

I'd never talked about my orientation with anyone and I felt a blush of
discomfort creep onto my face. "I didn't," I said, almost defensively. I
shrugged. "She made a move and I was like; cool."

She smiled, but her eyes went a little weird. She chuckled awkwardly. "Pretty
lucky."

I nodded. "Yeah."

She looked around again, to check no one was listening, and then she said: "So
how'd the date go the other night?"

"I don't know," I said guardedly. "Why?"

"Just curious," she said, loosening up a little. "Did you kiss her? Like,
really kiss her?"

The question surprised me—and made me uncomfortable. It was too private and I
didn't want other people to have that information. Besides, a kiss was the
least of what we did. We screwed in the back of my mom's car like a couple of
tramps, to be honest.

"Don't worry," Angela added, smiling excitedly. "I won't tease you. So, did
you?"

Her smile eased me a little. At the least I knew she wasn't going to tease me.
I nodded shyly. "Well, yeah," I said. "Kind of."

She grinned a scandalized grin. "Eww!" she cringed, her eyes twinkling with
playful disgust. "That's so disgusting, I can't believe you did that!"

I chuckled in relief. Weirdly, she sounded like she actually meant it, but at
the same time there was no judgment, no distain, no contempt. I felt a strange
weight lift from my heart, and later on I'd realize that those words were my
very first taste of acceptance.

"Yeah, well," I murmured, embarrassed. "She's pretty hot."

I was worried I might've went too far with that, but she just smiled.

"No shit," she said. "But have you seen her sisters? I think the tall blonde
and the redhead have her beat."

I shrugged. "Maybe," I said, but in my mind, no one had Alice beat. My eyes
drifted to find her.

"Especially the redhead," Angela went on, shifting into gossip mode. "I mean,
seriously, I've never seen anything like her. She's like a supermodel or
something. They should have a special school for girl's like her. It's damaging
on us regular girls to be around chicks like that. I passed her in the halls
the other day and my self-esteem just evaporated. I still haven't gotten it
back. I was depressed for the rest of the week."

While she was talking, my gaze had settled on the back of Alice's head several
rows down, where she was chatting happily with her new BFF. There was even a
slight blush on the brunette's face, but I didn't let it bother me. They were
just talking, and Alice was very friendly, and very nice. And very cute. She
was perfect in every way possible.

Alice must've sensed my eyes, because she turned in her chair and smiled over
her shoulder. She gave me a cutesy wave with her fingers and I waved back, my
heart soaring.

Angela saw it and some of her smile slipped away, traces of the old homophobia
resurfacing.

"You really like her, huh?" she asked awkwardly.

I nodded, guarded again.

"But that's so weird, though," Angela said earnestly, as if she really didn't
understand. "I mean, you know she's a chick, right? As in, a girl. As in,
you're actually dating a female."

"Yeah," I half-chuckled. "I noticed."

Angela straightened up and gave me a weird look. "Just checking," she said.
"It's just kind of weird, that's all."

She didn't mention it again for the rest of the class and I was content to let
the subject slide. It was nice for a few brief moments to discuss my personal
life with someone who was almost a friend, but I doubt I'd ever be accepted
enough to talk about it normally, like other girl's do. I was resigned to that,
I didn't really care.

After history was math with Lauren. There was certainly no faux-friendliness
here. She'd barely spoke two words to me since yesterday's dodgeball game and I
was very tempted to avoid her, but I had no other friend's in math, and usually
she was pretty cool in math because there were no other friends to impress.

But usually isn't always, and today she was in a particularly foul mood. She
brooded beside me all class, not speaking, not looking at me. She pretended
like I wasn't even there, and somehow that was worse than her usual torment. I
kept glancing at her, trying to be as discreet as possible. One thing I'd
always admired about her was her hair. It was blonde, but it was that perfect
platinum color, clean and shiny. I could imagine how it would feel under your
hand, how silky it would be. Lauren was always pretty. Her features were sharp
and her eyes were cold crystal blue. Her skin was a nice pale peach color. Her
lips were a little thin, but they were pink, like Alice, and—

Suddenly she spun to me. "What the fuck are you looking at?" she snapped.

"N-nothing," I stuttered, and turning back to my books. She didn't speak again
and I didn't dare look at her again for the rest of class.

By lunch period my stomach was in knots. My place at Lauren's table had been
tenuous lately and after the incident at math—I still had no idea why I'd been
staring—I was incredibly nervous. I don't know what her problem was, but I
wished there was some way to fix it.

Because something was definitely wrong. She'd never been like this before.
She'd barely smiled all week and she was so mean. I'd spent some time last
night wondering if jealousy was a possibility, but I just couldn't see it. Was
it possible that she was just a bitch? That she really hated me? Why? What did
I do to her? I just didn't understand.

I stood in line with my tray, frowning vaguely. Why did I even care, anyway? I
didn't know, and I was still wondering when Alice appeared beside me with her
own tray, cutting in in front of me.

"Hey," she chirped, giving me a friendly hip bump. "Wanna sit with me and my
sisters today?"

I had smiled to see her but now the smile faded.

"Oh, that's okay," I said, not quite casual. "I always sit with…"

I motioned vaguely toward Lauren's table. Alice didn't look. Her own smile
faded away, and I quickly added:

"Besides, I don't think your sisters like me very much."

She replaced het smile. "Yes, they do, they're just a little…snobby."

I chuckled but didn't reply. Alice sighed.

"Well, okay," she said. "I'll see you in art, then. We have to make sure we get
seats next to each other this time, okay?"

I nodded. "Okay."

She kissed my cheek, gave me a look that was almost sad, and then she left the
line, taking her empty tray over to her sister's table.

When she was gone, I felt bad, and utterly ridiculous. I'd always hated girl's
who ditch their friend's as soon as they get a date, but what kind of friends
was I trying to hang on to? Most of them hated me, and even Angela didn't
really like me. Why can't I ditch them? Why shouldn't I ditch them?

I sighed and turned to the table and trudged over with my tray. Lauren. It was
Lauren I didn't want to ditch.

Lauren noticed me as I approached and smirked. She was surrounded by friends
and the audience seemed to incite something in her. I had barely even sat down
when she said:

"And here comes the dyke."

I pretended she was just saying hi. I nodded casually and arranged my tray.
"Hey."

But she wasn't willing to cut me a break. "What's the matter," she said, "they
don't have a gay table for you and your freak girlfriend?"

The others snickered.

"What they really need is gay bathrooms," one of them said.

"And a gay locker room," said another.

Lauren snorted. "Fuck that," she said. "What they need to do is stick these
dykes in the boy's locker room. Group all the pigs together."

They cackled gleeful at that one, all but Angela. Angela smiled, pretending it
was a playful joke, but I could see in her face that she was afraid it would
escalate. I was too. The others could laugh, but Lauren wasn't laughing. She
really wasn't laughing.

"What do you think, dyke?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. "Hm? You'd probably
like using the guys locker room, wouldn't you? Maybe you could give them a show
while you're at it, since you like making out in the halls so much."

More snickering. I swept a glare across the table, but inside my stomach was
churning.

"And look at the dyke blush," Lauren went on, not laughing, not smirking. "You
like being the heroine in half the school's jerk offs, don't you dyke? You're
fucking disgusting, you know that?"

Something in her tone stopped the laughter. They sat with frozen grins,
wondering if they were missing something.

Lauren ignored them, focusing solely on me. "Or maybe the two of you could set
up a booth in the guy's bathroom and charge a viewing fee. What do you think of
that? Then maybe you'd have some money to buy some new clothes instead of
wearing those ugly rags everyday. Fucking lesbo hobo."

The table exchanged glances. None of them were even smiling anymore. Lauren
finally laughed, almost hysterically, and went on loudly, as if to an audience.

"You'd have to charge more than two bucks, though, if you wanted to afford
anything decent. That is, if anyone will even pay that much to see your flat
ass. You might have to throw in a blow job as well but maybe your dumb slut
girlfriend would prefer that part, huh? She's probably done it before, the
fucking freak."

I was almost crying. I held it back with all my might. "What's your problem?" I
whispered.

Lauren leaned forward viciously. "You're a disgusting dyke, that's the fucking
problem," she spat. She leaned back and looked at me with distain. "In fact, I
don't want you sitting here anymore. I'm sick of you disgusting dykes, so why
don't you just fuck off?"

Angela looked horrified at everything she'd heard and suddenly she said:
"Lauren, what the fuck is wrong with—"

"Shut the fuck up, Angela," Lauren spat at her, silencing her instantly. "You
in love with her or something?"

Angela recoiled. "N-no," she frowned.

Lauren turned back to me. "And what the fuck are you looking at dyke? Go away.
Shoo."

I was sitting there frozen, cold all over, tears in my eyes. I didn't know what
to do.

"Now!" Lauren barked, flapping at hand at me violently. "Go kill yourself or
something, I don't care. Just get the fuck out of here."

My eyes blurred. I stood up, half stumbling, and wheeled away for the exit,
leaving my tray on the table. As I passed Alice's table Alice rose in alarm
when she saw my face. I didn't stop. I was too embarrassed to run, but I walked
really fast, and soon I was out of there.

I went to the library and went straight to the back shelves where I would be
alone. It was the same place I used to go during lunch period. Before I used to
sit with Lauren.

I paced up and down, fighting back tears. I couldn't think straight. I'd never
been hurt so badly in my life and I wasn't the kind of person who hurts easily.
God, what the fuck was her problem? How could she hate me so much? What the
fuck?

When I turned around Alice was there.

"Hey," she whispered.

I wiped at my cheeks with my fingers. A couple tears had leaked out and I was
embarrassed.

"Hey," I said casually, "I was just…"

I gestured at the bookshelves limply. As if I'd actually come here for a reason
rather than in exile.

Alice said nothing, she walked up and hugged me. I relaxed in her warmth, but I
was ashamed at almost crying. I put my arms around her and held her.

"What did they say to you?" she whispered into my ear.

I gave a wet snort. "That I'm a dyke. That I'm disgusting."

"You're not disgusting, Bella."

"I know," I said, pushing her away gently. "It's not that."

She looked into my face and cocked her head sympathetically. "Then what is it?"

I looked away. Tears were creeping back into my eyes and my lip trembled. "They
made me go away," I whispered, almost bursting into tears. But I bit my tongue
and looked away.

Alice watched me. "Lauren?"

I sniffed. "Yeah."

Alice smiled sadly. "You kind of like her, don't you?"

I shook my head, my heart racing. "No," I said, and even I didn't believe me.
"Of course not."

Alice cocked her head expectantly.

I rolled my wet eyes and sniffed. "Maybe," I said. "I don't know. I know I
should hate her, but… she's the closest thing I have to a friend."

Alice's voice was flat, almost mocking. "A friend?"

"Yeah," I said. I struggled wordless for a second and then I tried to explain.
"Back when I first came out," I told her, "everyone avoided me. All my friend's
ditched me. No one even wanted to go near me. I got teased a lot, but Lauren
was different. She was meaner than the others, but… I kind of liked it. I liked
when she'd pay attention to me. I don't know why. I think I had kind of a crush
on her."

Alice watched me curiously. "Go on."

I wiped one of my eyes. "I knew her from middle school. She was a friend. We
weren't very close, but…I liked her. And even though she was mean to me, it
never stopped feeling like she was my friend. I never got angry with her and I
was never hurt and I'd always be happy to see her. She was always teasing me,
but she never told me to go away. She was always mean…but she never told me to
go away."

Until today. I sniffed.

"She was the first girl I had real feelings for," I went on. "I know I should
hate her, but I don't. All I feel is…hurt. She's been weird ever since she saw
us at the movies together. Maybe she never thought I was actually gay. I don't
know." I shook my head, scoffing bitterly. "I just don't understand why she
hates me so much."

"Can't you guess?"

"Because she's a bitch?"

Alice smiled. "People fear what they don't understand," she said, "but there's
little more incomprehensible to a girl than a girl's own heart. I think she's
jealous."

I screwed up my face. "Jealous of what?"

"Me," she said. "I think she likes you."

My heart leapt at the suggestion. "That's ridiculous," I whispered.

Alice giggled once, without humor. "We'll see," she said. She stepped forward
and cupped my cheek tenderly. "But for now I think it would be best if you
stayed away from her for a while. If she makes you cry again I'm going to snap
her neck."

Her last comment took me by surprise and I looked into her eyes. They were the
same honey-colored pools of beauty they always were, but for the first time I
saw something else in them. Something dark. Something sinister. They were
watching me with caring and tenderness, but they were so depthless they seemed
empty, and it occurred to me that maybe she wasn't joking. That maybe she was
perfectly capable of snapping a person's neck—at little cost to her conscience.

"I wasn't crying," I whispered.

Alice smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

"Tell me what I can do to make you feel better."

I smiled, blushing slightly. "You already have."

"Please, Bella," she said. "Let me do something."

My heart started beating. We were all alone. Just the two of us. I looked about
at the dusty shelves of books and smiled. "Like what?" I asked.

Alice wrapped her arms around me and looked up at me. "Anything," she said.
"What can I do?"

I stared at her lips, mesmerized. "You could kiss me," I whispered.

She kissed me. She touched her lips to mine and held them there. My eyes fell
shut and I lost myself in the kiss.

It was over too soon but she was smiling.

"May I do more than kiss you?" she asked.

I nodded dreamily. "Okay."

She smiled and tossed her chin at one of the bottom shelves beside us. "Put
your foot on the shelf."

I was a little confused, but I did it. I put my boot on the second shelf,
glancing around to make sure there was no one nearby. Alice smiled her impish
smile and started unbuttoning my pants. My leg was cocked on the shelf, thighs
parted, and I felt a flash of excitement as I realized what she was going to
do.

Smirking playfully, she slipped her hand into my panties and flattened it
sensually against my pussy. My breath hitched. She teased her index finger
against my slit gently and cupped my face with her other hand.

"Is this okay?" she asked, stroking me gently inside my panties.

"Yes," I breathed, squirming slightly. Then I shot a look at her jeans. "You
too," I said. "Let me touch you."

Alice smiled and put her sneaker on the third shelf, above mine, her leg cocked
even higher. I unbuttoned her jeans and unzipped them open with shaky fingers.
Her panties were pink today, with frilly elastic and a little bow on the front.
I put my hand inside them and mimicked what she was doing to me, rubbing her
smooth pussy, stroking her gently.

"Mmm," she moaned. "That's nice, isn't it?"

I was getting wet and giddy. "Yeah," I whispered excitedly.

Alice smiled at my face and then captured my lips in a kiss. We leaned into
each other for balance and let the kiss heat up. We sucked on each other's
lips, we sucked on each other's tongues, we moaned softly into each other's
mouths. Her firm breasts were pressing into mine and our hands were bumping as
we pushed at each other with our hips.

She was so moist, so hot and moist. I found her clit and traced circles around
it with my fingertip, struggling to concentrate as she teased my own hardened
nub, groaning when she pinched it, nipping at her tongue.

All of our clothes were still on and we hadn't even reached up our tops. Her
free hand had buried itself in my hair and mine was holding the nape of her
neck, our tongues entwined and dancing like lovers, faster, harder.

Her finger entered me and probed gently. My face was on fire and I had to break
the kiss, gasping into her shoulder. She kissed my ear, her finger penetrating
deeper.

"Alice," I whimpered, clenching down on her. "Oh god Alice I love you…"

For a second I was shocked that I'd just told her I loved her, but the shock
didn't pierce the pleasure, and if she was startled she didn't said anything.

My own hand had faltered in her panties, but now I got it going again,
inserting a finger into her folds, probing her entrance. I pushed it in gently,
relishing the sheer heat inside her. She was so hot. So fucking hot. I pushed
it in further and she gave a little moan and bucked her hips, clenching on my
finger. Her own finger retaliated with a quick thrust into my core that almost
made me fall over. Our legs were still cocked with our feet on the bookshelves
and we were getting closer now, very close.

We resumed the kiss, our faces flushed and feverish, as we explored each other
with our fingers, our panties soaked. I was becoming dazed and helpless, and
soon I couldn't concentrate on the kiss anymore. I touched my forehead to her
shoulder, gasping softly, ready to come. I gave a little cry as her finger
pushed in deeper and suddenly she withdrew it and pinched down on my clit,
making me cry out again, and then she started rubbing it harshly between her
thumb and forefinger.

The climax gathered like a whirlwind and then it swept through me in a hot
shudder of ecstasy. I clenched my jaw to keep from groaning too loudly, and my
hand gripped into her shoulder like a claw, tears squirting from my squeezed
shut eyes. I stood there gasping, my hand motionless in her panties, where it
was so warm, so wet. I couldn't think. I couldn't move.

I felt her kiss my ear softly. She stroked my hair and tried to look at my
face, but I kept it buried in her shoulder, shuddering with gasps. I felt weak,
like a strong wind would blow me over, emotionally and physically exhausted.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly.

I didn't answer in words. Her voice and the gentle touch of her hand on my hair
sent a wave of absolute worship sweeping over me, and without speaking, I
dropped to my knees, tugged down her panties just a bit, and sucked on her clit
till she came.

—

I avoided Lauren and everyone else for the rest of the day. I took seats in the
back, not talking to anyone, hardly even looking up from the desk. The
experience in the library had convinced me that there was only one girl in
school who was worth talking too, only one girl who like me, who loved me, and
that girl was Alice.

When classes were finally over, I hurried to my locker, ignoring everyone I
knew, and I found her waiting there for me, like she said she would. And
despite the nervousness, despite the anxiety, I was finally confident enough in
her feelings to ask what I'd been dying to ask all week. I closed the locker
door and tried to be casual.

"Hey, did you wanna come over my house this afternoon?" I asked, already
blushing uncontrollably. "And study maybe? Or just hang out?"

Incredibly, I was still anxious about her answer, but she only smiled and
adjusted the strap of her backpack. "Sure," she said. "Want me to walk home
with you?"

My heart swelled and I felt like we'd finally made some real progress in our
relationship. I nodded and offered my hand. She took it, smiled, and together
we walked home, hand in hand, just me and my girlfriend.

—

***** Chapter 5 *****
—

Chapter 5:

—

I didn't get to see Alice on Saturday and as a result I was depressed enough to
contemplate cutting my wrists with a kitchen knife while doing the dishes. But
then she called while I was drying them and the vibration in my pocket gave me
new reason to live.

I dashed upstairs as quick as I could, phone at my ear, leaving the rest of the
dishes for mom to deal with. I shut my door and flopped down onto the
bed—feeling very much like a stereotypical teenage girl—and said:

"What's up?"

"Nothing," said her beautiful voice. "Just wanted to talk to you. What are you
doing now?"

"Nothing really, just doing the dishes."

And contemplating ending it all because you blew me off yesterday.

Maybe that was unfair, but it was kind of true. Yesterday, Alice had stayed and
studied till dinner time, and before she left I'd asked her, with great
anxiety, if she wanted to go see a movie on Saturday. She demurred and said it
was probably best not. I was crushed, needless to say. I wanted to kick her in
the shin and slap her, but I didn't. I pretended it was all cool and cried
myself to sleep. Well, I didn't really cry. But it was a harsh blow,
nonetheless.

It was her thirst that was the problem. She'd said she needed a little space
for a little bit, and what could I do? It would be ungrateful to hate her for
taking precautions so that she'd didn't viciously attack my neck in public
someplace.

Besides, she was on the phone now, and that was reason enough to forgive her.

"Mom's doing them now," I told her. "What about you, what were you doing?"

"Not much. Just thinking about you."

"I was thinking about you too," I practically cooed. Then my stupidity kicked
in. "Actually, I was thinking, um… Are you busy tomorrow?"

I cringed as I asked. Stupid move, and so clingy. I should've waited for her to
mention it. I could already feel my stomach churning. If she blows me off twice
in a row I swear to god I'm gonna cry for real.

"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

I didn't know how to react to that, but I made a snap judgment to interpret it
optimistically; she wanted to talk about it because she wanted to get together.
Of course, it could've just as easily meant the opposite, that she wanted to
talk to me because she is in fact busy, and she won't be able to see me
tomorrow.

Now I couldn't help thinking about it negatively. My mind jumped from 'what if
I don't get to see her tomorrow?' to 'what if she's trying to dump me?' in less
than a second, but I pushed it all away, made an effort to rally some
casualness, and said: "Um, sure. What's up?"

I was painfully aware of using the phrase "what's up" twice in ten seconds, but
she didn't call me a repetitious twit and hang up. She spoke, and her voice was
soft, almost timid.

"The thing is," she said. "I need to feed."

I felt a stab of excitement. I'd been laying on my back but now I rolled over
onto an elbow and said:

"Err…"

Not very articulate, but it summed up my feelings pretty accurately; surprise,
bewilderment, shock. I'd known she'd have to feed from me at some point—and
soon—but hearing it from her after she'd been refusing for so long took me
completely by surprise.

And on the phone, too. Kind of a casual way to make a date for massive blood
loss. Wouldn't an engraved invitation with hand written calligraphy be more
appropriate?

Then again, it's not like I was gonna say no however she asked. I would've let
her do it before this even, but she was the one who kept holding back. I wasn't
even sure why. She hinted that it was dangerous, but how dangerous could it be?
It's just a bit of blood.

"Um, sure," I said, hardly aware of what I was saying. "Okay, great. Um…when?"

She giggled softly on the other line. "I wanted to talk to you about it first."

"Um, okay. Err… What do you wanna know?"

I heard her smile, and it was so weird, but I could literally hear her smile.
You'd think a smile would be silent, but when Alice smiled there was a little
sound that went with it, a faint breathy giggle. She probably thought it was
funny how stupid I sounded.

"Well, first of all," she said, "I wanted to know if you're okay with it."

I shrugged, mostly to myself, searching her words for hidden meanings. Am I
okay with it? Well…yeah. Duh. Why ask? What's the real question?

I didn't know, and in the one or two seconds I had before answering, I couldn't
figure it out.

"Um, yeah," I said. "Of course. Why?"

"Because I don't want you to feel forced. If you need more time, I can…"

I chuckled. "Alice, it's cool," I said. "Really."

"Because it won't be like the other night," she went on softly. "Our first
night together was…a dream. Neither of us were fully in control of ourselves.
It'll be different when we do it again."

Something in her voice sobered me, but also stirred some curiosity. "How?" I
asked.

"It'll hurt," she said simply.

I felt a small chill pass through me. Pain. Hmm. Not really my kind of thing.

"Like a real bite," she clarified.

I shrugged to myself. Sure, getting bitten in the neck without an anesthetic
didn't sound like a fun way to spend an evening, but this was Alice. Is a bite
really such a big deal to make her happy? I think not.

"Yeah, well," I said. "It's just a bite."

Her voice came back slightly playful. "You don't sound scared."

I almost scoffed. "I'm not."

"No?"

"No," I said, my heart rate picking up a little with the excitement.
"Honestly…it sounds hot."

And it did. There was something truly unique in being craved in such a carnal
fashion. Not sex, not love, but blood. It's like she craved my life itself.

I heard another of her breathy smiles. "Good," she said, a note of suppressed
elation in her voice. Suddenly I realized why we were having this conversation
on the phone; it was a hot topic for her. She didn't trust herself face to
face. "That's good," she breathed. "I'm glad to hear that. Do you know why?"

The tone of voice made me tingle. "Why?"

"Because feeding is very pleasurable," she whispered. "I was hoping you might
want to make it special for me."

My face was engulfed in a fiery blush. "S-sure," I stammered. "I'd love too."
Then my brows drew together puzzledly. "But, um…how?"

"Well," she said, "I was thinking we could spend the day together tomorrow. I'd
could pick you up in the morning. And we could drive into the city. And we
could have lunch and go shopping. And then maybe we could get a hotel room.
What do you think?"

I listened to her plan in a drifting trance. It felt like she was caressing me
with her voice, and just thinking about it triggered a faint throb between my
legs. "That sounds great," I said, grinning dazedly.

"You'll have to tell your mother something," she said, still whispering. "You
could say you're sleeping over my place, if you want."

"Okay."

"And you might be late for school tomorrow."

"Why?"

She hesitated slightly. "You'll need another transfusion," she said quietly.

Bummer. I hate hospitals. And what if mom finds out?

"O-oh," I stuttered.

"Is that okay?" she asked, a touch of anxiety in her voice.

"Yeah," I hurried to assure her, "it's just a bit annoying, you know?"

"The blood loss might not be as bad as last time, but to be safe…"

"No, it's cool," I said, and smiled, even though she couldn't see it. "Don't
worry about it."

I heard her sigh, a shuddery sound to it, like mingled relief and excitement.
"Thank you, Bella," she whispered. "You're very sweet."

I blushed. It really is sweet, when you think about it. Like donating blood.
For a worthy cause too; Alice.

"Thanks," I said shyly.

Another breathy smile, a faint giggle attached to it. "Well, I'd better let you
go," she said. "Pick you up at twelve?"

"Okay, sure."

"Great. And don't bother wearing anything nice, okay? We'll be shopping all day
and I wouldn't want to exhaust your fashion sense before we even set out."

I smiled. "Okay," I said, but I knew nothing was gonna stop me from attempting
to compose something nice from the scraps in my closet.

She giggled. "Okay," she said. "Good night, Bella."

"Night, Alice."

"And, um, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Would ten o'clock be okay? You know, to pick you up?"

I stifled a giggle. So sweet. Twelve o'clock isn't early enough for her, she
wants to come at ten.

"Sure," I grinned. "Ten o'clock would be perfect."

"Okay," she whispered. "Sweet dreams."

My heart gave a pang of longing, knowing that the conversation would be over in
a moment. "You too, Alice."

But she didn't hang up. Her voice came back, quick and breathy. "Um, before you
go…"

My heart leapt that she wanted to keep talking. "Yeah?"

"Well, I was wondering…did you wanna have phone sex quickly?"

I froze. Excitement crept over my skin like a hundred ghostly fingers.
"Um…what?"

She went on breathily, her voice soft and coy. "Well, it's just…I was in the
shower before. And I couldn't stop thinking about you, and…"

I swallowed. "You were?"

"Mmhm," she murmured sexily. "I was thinking about all the things I'm going to
do to you tomorrow night, and well…I don't know if I can wait that long. I
think I might need a…taste."

My face was burning and a soft throb had began between my legs. I tried to
speak but my throat was closed shut. "O-oh," I managed.

She giggled softly. "And now I'm all alone in my room," she went on in a
whisper. "And all I'm wearing is this towel. And I'm all naked underneath. My
skin feels all clean and soft from the shower and my legs feel so nice and
smooth. I'm laying on my bed, rubbing my thighs together. I don't have any
underwear on and the towel's starting to ride up a little. What are you
wearing, Bella?"

I was frozen stiff, mouth open, pussy aching. I must've looked like a corpse
laying there aside from the beet red blush on my face and the frantic pulse in
my neck.

My mind was struggling to catch up. Did she just say that her towel is riding
up and she's naked underneath? Is that what she said? Because if that's what
she said in that breathy voice of hers, well, I'm just gonna come right now.
I'm just gonna go ahead and ruin my pants, because that's just too hot.

"Bella?" she giggled. "Are you there?"

Oh shit.

What the fuck was she saying? She asked me what I'm wearing, right?

"Oh, um…" I sat up frantically, looking down at myself. Sweatpants, tanktop,
and a robe. Yeah, real sexy. Not only was I wearing nothing special, but my
mind couldn't even conjure something special. My mind wasn't even working. "Um,
nothing really…"

She replied with a smile in her voice. "Nothing?"

I blushed. "No, I mean…nothing special. Just my sleep clothes."

She giggled. "Describe it for me. So I can picture you."

"Well, it's just pants and a tanktop, so…"

"Mmm, the tanktop intrigues me. Do you know why?"

Her voice was high and breathy. I smirked slightly. "Why?"

"Because your breasts are inside it," she said innocently.

My breasts tingled in response. I closed my thighs against the rising warmth
between them. "O-oh," I stammered.

She giggled. "Are you wearing a bra?"

"No."

"Better and better," she murmured. "Can you do me a favor, Bella?"

"Sure."

"Can you lift your top over your breasts? It might help me picture them more
clearly."

I gulped. Was it okay to be flirting like this? She'd seen them before, of
course, but that was heat of the moment. This seemed a little more…decadent.

Which was weird, because she wasn't even in the room. Still, it's not like I
was gonna say no. I was vaguely aware that girls are supposed to be guarded
with their bodies, but I didn't care. In fact, I was flattered. I'd been
picturing Alice naked since my first growth spurt, but it never occurred to me
that maybe she might want to picture me, too.

And so, biting my lip anxiously, I lifted my top over my bare breasts. The
ceiling got a good view, but it still seemed kind of ridiculous how embarrassed
I was. I shivered at the cold air that passed over them, but I wasn't shivering
from the cold. My face was on fire and my chest was rising and falling visibly.

"There," I whispered.

She gave a little moan that sounded like another of her smiles. "Mmm, I can
almost see them. Are you touching them?"

I blushed. "Do you want me to?"

"Yes," she whispered. "Touch one of them for me."

"Which one?"

"Are you holding the phone in your right hand?"

"Yeah."

"Then touch the left one with your left hand. Just caress it gently. Nice and
gentle. Pretend it's me doing it. Are you doing it?"

"Yes," I said, and I was. While she was talking I cupped my hand over my breast
tentatively and stroked it gently. I was embarrassed, but amazingly turned on.
It wasn't the first time I'd played with them, but to play with them under
Alice's instruction, with Alice knowing, and Alice picturing…it was incredible.

"How does it feel?" she whispered into the phone.

I closed my eyes and breathed in, letting myself relax a little. I was laying
on my back so my breasts were flattened slightly, but it was still easy to get
a handful. I'd always been fortunate in the chest area. "It feels…hot."

"Mmm," she moaned, and I got the impression she was doing something similar to
herself. "Do you know what I'm doing, Bella?"

"What?"

"I'm playing with my boobs the same as you."

A breath escaped me that was almost a giggle. The mental picture of Alice
laying around and playing with her perky little breasts sent a spike of
excitement directly into my core. My legs opened themselves almost
automatically. I kept my hand on my breast, but I had to open them. The throb
was getting deeper.

"Hey listen," she whispered. "Can you get your nipple in your mouth?"

I gave a giggle. "No."

She made a pouting sound. "I didn't think so," she said. "Oh well. I'll just
have to pretend I'm sucking on it."

I licked my dry lips, rubbing my nipple between my thumb and forefinger. "I'll
pretend, too," I whispered.

It wasn't much of a flirt, but it pleased her. "Mmm," she moaned. "Are your
nipples hard?"

"Yes."

"I bet they could use a good sucking, couldn't they?"

"Yeah."

"Mmm," she moaned. She lowered her voice to a growl. "You love it when I suck
your tits, don't you?"

My face flushed hotly with excitement. I'd never heard her say tits before. And
to say it about me, mine, well…fuck.

I had an aching urge to stuff my hand into my pants but I kept my hand where it
was, rubbing my nipple and plucking it idly, feeling it tingle all through my
chest. If I wasn't so turned on by her voice I would've just dropped the phone
and started clawing at my panties.

My breathing had gotten faster and I think she heard it.

"Mmm," she moaned with a little giggle. "Yeah, you love when I suck your tits,
don't you? Your big fat yummy tits."

More flashes, more horniness. "Yes…" I breathed.

She gave a sultry giggle into the phone. "I love sucking them, too," she
whispered. "I can almost feel your hot little nipple between my lips. I'd give
anything to lick your tits right now. To lick all over them like a dog and suck
them and bite them."

Suddenly I pinched down on my nipple, almost as if there were some hidden
command in her voice. I gasped sharply as a jolt of excitement spasmed in my
chest, the gasp trailing off into a little moan. "Oh god," I whimpered.

Alice giggled. "That's cute," she said. "You're so cute, Bella." Then she
dropped her voice suddenly. "Hey," she whispered. "Guess what I just did."

"What?"

"I just opened my legs."

My head spun and at first it was almost like I didn't understand. Alice's legs
were open. Miles and miles away Alice was laying on her back on her bed with
her legs open and no underwear and only wearing a towel and oh my god. My eyes
were closed and the mental image knocked the breath out of me. I could see her
so clearly, the towel pink, rumpled about her breasts, hiked up to her hips,
her pearl white legs open and naked.

"Mmhm," she went on, answering my breathy silence. "I spread them as wide as
they could go and all I'm wearing is a towel. My pussy is completely exposed,
and do you what I'm doing to it?"

I almost couldn't speak. "What?" I whispered.

"I'm teasing it," she said. "Tracing my finger up and down. Wishing you were
here." She sighed heavily into the phone. "I want you so badly, Bella. Do you
want me?"

My hand was still holding my breast but I'd practically forgotten about it. My
whole head was consumed by the throbbing between my legs and the desire to do
something about it. "Fuck yeah."

She giggled. "Well, as much as I hate to abandon your lovely breasts, why don't
you go ahead and stick your hand in your panties?"

I received the suggestion with very real relief. "Okay," I said, then I snaked
my hand into my panties and groped myself gratuitously, letting my body squirm
as it wanted to. I breathed heavily into the phone, my eyes closed.

Alice was breathing heavy too. "Mmm," she moaned. "Are you wet, Bella?"

"Yes," I said, rubbing myself, forcing my legs open wider.

"Me too," she breathed. "My poor little pussy is throbbing so bad. It needs
your tongue. Your tongue is the only thing that makes it feel good."

I chuckled throatily. "I need yours, too," I said, but in all honesty, having
her talk dirty on the phone was almost better than having her for real.

"Mmm, I know you do, baby," she whispered. "Hey, let's pretend okay? Do you
know how I'm picturing you right now?"

"How?"

"I'm picturing you kneeling between my legs. On your hands and knees.
Completely naked with your smooth beautiful skin. You're kissing my pussy as if
it was my mouth. With your dark hair spilling over my thighs. Tickling me. And
your tongue inside me as far as it'll go. You're very hungry and you keep
licking and licking and I love it so much with you're tongue so deep inside me.
I can see it all in my head. Isn't that a pretty picture?"

I had to stop touching myself before I came. It was too much, those thing she
was saying. It was like she could read my mind, because that's exactly what I'd
be picturing, that is if I was actually capable of generating a mental picture.
Right now my brain seemed to be in preliminary meltdown. My thought process was
stuck on: oh fuck oh fuck oh god oh fuck—

"Can you taste me, Bella?" she whispered into the phone. "Do you know how wet I
am for you?"

"Yeah," I whispered back. I touched my clit tentatively. Shiver. I breathed out
and started rubbing my clit gently, careful not to push myself too far.

"Mmm," she moaned. "My pussy's so slutty for you, Bella. My slutty little pussy
loves you so much. It almost hurts."

"I love your pussy, too," I replied automatically, surprising even myself.

"Ohh—!" she gasped, giggling. "Bella! I almost fainted from that. That was so
hot. Say it again for me. Tell me that you love my slutty little pussy."

I paused with my hand again before I came. I sucked in a breath and licked my
lips. "I love your slutty little pussy," I told her softly. "I could lick it
all day. And lick it all over."

"Oh, Bella," she gasped playfully. "Oh Bella, that's so hot. Oh god, I think
I'm about to come. Are you almost there, baby?"

I'd been there for the past two minutes. I grinned. "Yes," I said. "I'm there."

She giggled. "Well, hold on for just a bit, okay? Let me come first so you can
hear me. I'll make it sexy for you. Are you listening, Bella? Listen to how bad
I want you."

The next twenty seconds were the sexiest thing my ears had ever heard. I'm sure
it was mostly acted—or at least exaggerated—but it almost melted the phone all
the same.

She started breathing heavy. Loud pants of air that I could almost feel against
my ear. Then a little moan. A sharp in take of breath. She breathed my name and
inhaled and breathed my name out again. She made a groaning sound and I could
almost see her twisting gently in her bed, her hand busy between her spread
legs, her head tilted back. She started panting with short gasps of air into
the phone. Behind my closed eyelids I could see her flushed face, her smooth
cheeks, her long lashes. I could see her glossy pink lips, parted breathlessly,
panting into the phone. Moaning my name. Her breath became sharper and I could
hear it building inside her. She groaned louder and gasped, gasped, gasped, and
then she cried out and—

I came. My body arched up in a little spasm as the orgasm exploded between my
legs. My face was blushing so hot it felt burnt and I was pressing the phone
into my ear so hard it hurt.

Ho-ly fuck.

Alice's breathing was tapering off and I knew that she'd came too. I could
picture her drawing her legs together and maybe touching herself a little more.
I heard her swallow and lick her lips. "Whew," she said with a giggle. "That
was fun, wasn't it? Did you come, baby?"

I swallowed as well, trying to calm my breath. I took my hand out of my
underwear and wiped in on my pants. "Yeah," I said, smiling shyly as I pulled
my tanktop down over my breasts—excuse me, my tits. Alice's says they're tits,
and tits are so much sexier, so I'm gonna call them tits. "That was hot."

She giggled. "Well, hopefully it'll be enough to hold me till tomorrow night,"
she said. "Tomorrow night I won't have to picture you, will I? Tomorrow night
you'll be right there, won't you?"

I grinned. "Yeah."

She giggled again. "Yes," she said. "Well. I better let you go."

I felt a flash of disappointment. "Oh, are you sure?" I asked. "I mean, we can
keep talking if you want."

"No, no, no," she said. "I have to go to bed."

"Oh. Do vampire's actually sleep?"

"Oh yes. Well, something like that. We're like cats. Always napping. Always
dreaming."

"Okay," I said, trying not to pout. I didn't want to say goodbye but I forced
myself. "Well, sweet dreams."

"You too, Bella," she said. "So, um, nine o'clock's good? For tomorrow
morning?"

I held back laughter. First it was twelve, then ten, now nine. She was probably
faking the whole coy act, but it was so dastardly cute that I couldn't bring
myself to quibble over authenticity.

"Nine o'clock's perfect," I told her.

She made her smiley sound. "Okay," she whispered. " Thanks. Good night, Bella."

I smiled, still disappointed, but glowing nonetheless. "Yeah," I said.
"G'night, Alice."

I was expecting her to hang up, but she didn't. There was a moment of silence
and I could hear her breathing gently. I was wondering is she was still there
when her voice spoke up softly.

"Um, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"You'd better hang up first," she whispered. "I don't think I can."

I almost laughed, but settled on a smile instead. "Why not?"

She giggled quietly. "I don't know," she said. "Vampires are obsessive-
compulsive, especially when it comes to romance. I can't hang up. It just
wouldn't feel right."

I grinned. "Well, I don't know if I can either."

She giggled. "You must, my love," she said. "Be strong."

She's said it in a theatrical tone, but I couldn't help glowing at how she
called me her love. I couldn't wait for the day when she'd call me that and
mean it.

I hated to hang up on her, but it looked like I had no choice. "Alright," I
said with a sigh. "Good night, Alice."

I heard her smile one last time in a soft sigh. "Good night, Bella."

It took a lot of willpower, but I managed to hit the disconnect button. Then I
just lay there for a minute, frozen, my mind trying to catch up with what had
happened, what had been planned.

Alice at nine.

The whole day together.

A hotel room.

And feeding.

A blush was glowing on my face and suddenly I grabbed the pillow and squealed
into it. When I regained my composure, I sat up, cleared my throat, corrected
my hair, and quickly dived into the pillow again to smother a gale of giggles.
Tears were prickling my eyes and I was so excited I couldn't sit still.

All day—and night—with Alice.

Oh.

My.

God.

—

I dreamt of Alice that night and in the morning I was so excited I sprang out
of bed before the alarm had even gone off. My eyes were hot and grainy from
lack of sleep, but I was still smiling the smile I'd fallen asleep with as I
gave my hair a quick brush, tied it in a ponytail, and threw on my robe for
warmth.

Birds were singing outside my window in a melody of annoying shrieking sounds
and my window was suffused with a cold grayness, but I didn't stop to sigh at
what a perfect morning it was. I went downstairs with my iPod and pirouetted
into the kitchen, only barely resisting the urge to hum to myself. I glanced
through the fridge briefly and took a moment to consider breakfast. I poked
around a little and noticed we had ingredients for pancakes, which immediately
struck me as a good idea. I like pancakes, and I had some time to kill, so why
not enjoy a cooked breakfast?

Usually I'd ask mom for permission before I cooked anything—she liked to keep
herself appraised of the fridge inventory at all times—but she was still
asleep. But I knew she wouldn't have a problem with it as long I made her some,
so I went ahead. Flour, milk, a bit of sugar. Crack a few eggs—well, one egg.
Mix it all up. I was still smiling and I was calmly beating the batter when I
decided to give in to my good mood and hum along with my iPod.

All day with Alice.

The thought wouldn't leave my head and my imagination was running wild with the
possibilities. Sure, I hated shopping—always had—but shopping with Alice didn't
quite seem like the same thing. I'm a hypocrite at heart and I was prepared to
adjust my attitude toward pretty much anything if it included Alice.

Ah, Alice.

Alice, Alice, Alice.

Even her name was magic to me, a symbol of love and acceptance with a hot body.
How long had we been going out? Technically, I guess it was only a week, and
today would only be our second date, but it felt much longer. Probably because
of the dreams. So many dreams, and still every night I'd dream about her. Never
like the dreams I used to have, but she was still always there, always in the
back of my subconscious, smiling, winking, her eyes brazen and smoldering. My
heart glowed thinking about her. Is it possible to fall in love with someone so
fast? The rational part of my brain suggested not, but reason doesn't take into
account how absolutely gorgeous she is. I mean, seriously. It's difficult to
imagine anyone could look at her and not fall in love at first sight.

I sighed, scooping the batter into the frying pan. It sizzled and I tilted the
pan to make a neater circle, my mind wandering. It was gonna be so perfect.
Lunch with Alice, dinner with Alice.

Feeding.

The thought was accompanied by a brief shiver, mostly excitement, part fear. If
I was being completely honest with myself I had to admit that I was kind of
scared, not just by the idea of getting, like, literally bitten, but also of
the date in general. I hadn't been to Seattle in ages—now that I had a Kindle I
didn't need bookstores—and I'd never really liked it. I'm a small town girl
with anxiety issues that stem from an adolescence of hostility and alienation;
even the familiar streets of Forks were enough to make me nervous. The foreign
crowdedness of Seattle was enough to make me want to hold mom's hand and hide
behind her skirt whenever we went.

But I'd have Alice this time, and Alice's hand to hold. Maybe we'd only known
each other a week, but I trusted her. I felt safe with her. Comfortable.

But feeding. What was feeding going to feel like?

By now the pancakes were done, and I got the coffee going for mom since she'd
probably be up in a minute. While I waited for the machine to gurgle I washed
the cooking dishes and stacked them, wondering about feeding, wondering what
it'll feel like. I hardly remembered the first time. It had happened so quick,
so dreamlike. It hadn't hurt, I remember that. Not at the time. I was probably
numb from shock or euphoria, not really believing what was happening, convinced
I was only dreaming.

This time, however, there'd be no numbness. This time it was going to hurt, she
told me herself. It doesn't seem like a big deal—just a little bite—but teeth
hurt. It probably wouldn't hurt as much as, say, stepping into a bear trap, but
there was bound to be a sting.

When the coffee was done I poured myself a cup of milk and sat down with my
pancakes. I fully intended to go through with it, of course, but I was worried
I might not be brave enough. What if I flinch and she gets nervous? I wasn't
worried about chickening out—I meant what I said when I said I was tougher than
I look—but I felt a weird impulse to test myself. To find out what it would
feel like.

I couldn't bite myself in the neck, of course, but a forearm would probably
give an accurate indication. And so, feeling like an idiot, I rolled up the
sleeve of my robe, and bit into the underside of my forearm tentatively.

I started gentle then went a little harder. Yep, definitely hurts. I frowned
and tried half-heartedly to pierce the skin, but I couldn't do it. I gave a
little grunt and tried once more to clamp down a little harder—and that's when
mom walked in.

She was dressed like me, sweatpants, tanktop, and a robe, but she hadn't
bothered to brush her hair or tie it up, and with her zombie-like shuffle, she
looked like a mental patient who just come from shock treatments. And maybe I
looked something like a mental patient myself, sitting in front of plate of a
pancakes and trying to take a chunk out of my forearm with my teeth. Like
mother like daughter, I guess. Must be genetic.

But luckily she didn't notice. She went straight for the pancakes on the
counter.

"Ooh, pancakes," she said, tearing a corner off the top one. "What's the
occasion?"

"Nothing," I said, putting down my sleeve after examining the teethmarks
briefly. I hadn't managed much depth, but it didn't hurt much either, so maybe
this feeding stuff wouldn't be so bad. "I was up early, so…"

"Aww, and you put the coffee on," she cooed, pouring herself a cup. "See,
Bella, this is the magic of having children. They enrich your life in ways you
never expected."

Breakfast seemed like a flimsy kind of enrichment to me, but I didn't say
anything. She bought over her cup and a plate of pancakes and kissed the top of
my head before sitting down to eat.

I suppose it was sweet to have an affectionate mother, but I couldn't help
wondering if she'd still do stuff like that if she knew I was gay. Or would she
get all weird and start avoiding me? Hard to imagine that mom would ever stop
loving me—and kind of scary that such a thing was possible.

"So, why are you up so early?" she asked through a mouthful of pancakes. I
almost told her not to talk with her mouth full, but I knew she wouldn't
listen. She's like a child sometimes.

"No reason," I said with a shrug, and then, naturally, I completely
contradicted myself. "Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

She regarded my half-nervous, half-excited demeanor, and said: "What is it,
sweetie?"

Best to proceed with caution. Mom had always been over-protective and she might
not like the idea of me spending all day in a big city with a girl I barely
knew, according to her. I suppose I could've explained that Alice is my
vampiric soulmate who intents to drink my blood tonight, but somehow I didn't
think it would help.

"Well," I began, "I was on the phone with Alice last night—"

"Again?"

I blushed. I'd been on the phone with Alice a lot lately. "Well, yeah."

"But I thought you hated cell phones? You always said you did."

It was never Alice on the other line. In fact, there was never anyone on the
line. But I didn't want to explain all that to mom, so I said: "Well, I'm older
now, so…"

Mom looked put out. "You never talk to me on your cell phone."

"Not the point, mom," I said, bringing us back to topic. "Look, what I'm
saying, is that we made plans for today. She's picking me up at nine."

As always, she put up a curious front, but you could see the suspicion beneath.
"Oh," she said. "Where're you going?"

Here's the hard part. "Seattle," I said. "She wants to take me shopping."

Mom frowned. "Seattle?"

I pretended it was no big deal. "Yeah, why?"

"Well, it's a long way to go just to go shopping. Is there something special
you needed?"

It would've been a good excuse if I could think of some special item, but I
couldn't think of anything. "Not really," I said, deciding to continue the
casual approach. "We'll probably just walk around and look at stuff. You know,
hang out."

"Just for fun?"

"Yeah."

"In Seattle."

"Yeah."

"Hm," mom said, regarding me suspiciously. "I thought you hated shopping?"

I tried not to squirm. I'd always said that, sure, but it was only because I
never had friends to go with.

"Well, Alice likes it," I said, "so…"

I let it trail off, implying I only wanted to go because Alice did—which was
true—and mom shook her head.

"Teenagers," she scoffed. "When you were a kid I had to practically twist your
arm to get you to go shopping with me, but as soon as your friends wanna go—"

"Mom," I said, cutting in. "Listen, I don't care about shopping, okay? All I
wanna do is hang out with Alice, and Alice wants to go shopping in Seattle.
What's the big deal?"

Mom softened, but she wasn't convinced. "I don't know, Bella. Seattle's pretty
far, and it rains all the time down there."

I didn't see how the rain would be a problem—unless she thought I might melt or
something—but I nodded. "Alice has a car, we'll be alright."

"Hmm," she said pensively, sipping her coffee. You could actually see her
thinking about it. Must be intoxicating to have so much power. I can't wait
till I'm a mother.

"Please, mom?" I said, not quite begging, but close enough for discomfort. "I
really want to see Alice."

She frowned at that, and I admit maybe I was a little fawning. But it was true.
Why should I hide it? I really, really, really, wanted to see Alice, and I
didn't particularly care where or how. Is there something wrong with that? Is
that so strange?

Mom sighed and set down her cup. "Well, alright," she said. "Do you need some
money?"

I smiled brightly. For a second there I'd been afraid I might have to resort to
a dramatic tantrum like young people do on TV. Happily, it wasn't necessary. I
remained a mature young woman, and mom remained best mom ever. The woman
deserved a mug, seriously. She even offered me money.

"Nah," I said, generously waving away the offer. "I've got some."

Not much, but I wasn't planning to spend money on myself. I should have enough
to cover the expense of impressing Alice.

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm good."

She smiled, finally placated. "Alright," she said, stirring her coffee with a
teaspoon. "When will you be back?"

I froze.

Shit.

My fork was half way to my mouth with a piece of pancake on it. I'd been so
preoccupied by trying to convince her to let me go that I forgot I wouldn't be
back till tomorrow morning. Or not even then. I wouldn't be back till after
school.

I put the fork in my mouth and chewed to stall the answer. I had to make a
quick decision, but what could I do? I decided to lie. I hated to start lying
now, after such a truthful start to the day, but I wasn't about to risk her
changing her mind.

"Err, I'm not sure," I said, focusing on my pancakes. "Later, I guess."

It must've been a natural delivery because she didn't question it. "Well, keep
your phone on you at all times, okay? And answer it if I call."

For the sake of propriety, I tried to feel bad about lying, but I couldn't. I
was too excited. I smiled, nodding happily. "I will," I told her.

She smiled back and watched me for a second as I resumed eating, holding her
cup in both hands. Then she looked down into the cup. "You really like that
Alice girl, don't you?" she asked.

I swallowed. She was sipping her coffee. Her tone had been not quite casual,
but close, and I felt a strange stirring of nervousness in my stomach. It was
pretty obvious that she was suspicious I might like Alice, and for a second it
seemed like she was giving me an opportunity to admit it casually, tell her
about it without a drama.

I was almost tempted. But I didn't. I couldn't be positive that she was
suspicious, and even if she was, I couldn't be positive she'd be accepting. She
could just as easily be luring me into a trap. It didn't seem like her style,
but it was possible.

Maybe I should've subtly hinted at it, so I could gauge her reaction for when I
really told her, but I had too much on my mind at the moment, so in the end I
just shrugged, fought back a blush, and said: "She's okay."

By the time I'd finished breakfast and did all the dishes it was almost eight
o'clock, and by the time I got out the shower it was eight o'clock. I had one
hour to get dressed and to my shame I almost ran out of time.

I didn't have that many choices for an outfit, of course, but I spent at least
twenty minutes trying to kid myself into believe Alice wouldn't notice if I
wore the same skirt as last time. It was the only decent piece of clothing I
owned—the only thing with a brand name at least. Alice had told me not to
stress about it, but I couldn't help it. It wasn't just Alice's opinion I was
worried about, anyway. After all, total strangers were going to be there. How
could I bare it if someone looked at me and made some comment that I couldn't
even hear to someone I didn't even know? It would be mortifying.

Needless to say, I took the matter quite seriously, but I couldn't shake a
vague sense of shame at the idea of recycling clothes. Skirt in hand, I took a
long honest look at what I was becoming, and I asked myself: am I really the
kind of girl who wears the same skirt two dates in a row? Well, when you put it
that way, no, I wasn't. Certainly not. It was unthinkable, now that I thought
about it. I was confident enough in the depth of Alice's feelings to believe
she wouldn't dump me for it, but there was a greater principle to consider, and
in the end I decided to indulge this emerging sense of pride. Better to dress
ugly than dress repetitiously.

It was going to be cold out, so I decided to wear my hoody too, with the hood
down, and it took another five minutes to convince myself that it wasn't as bad
as it seemed. And on the bright side it did partly conceal my cheap top. I
added a pair of black boots to the ensemble and that was it. I agonized for a
further five minutes over whether or not to wear makeup, but decided it would
be best not. It was broad daylight and I'm no try-hard—well, I try not to be. I
brushed my hair twice, fluffed it a bit with my fingers, and then I was ready.

It was still a little early so I took up a position outside the living room
window where I could watch the street for Alice. Mom was out there gardening,
trimming the half-dead flower bushes by the fence, and I got the feeling she
was hoping to intercept Alice. Which was quite a crafty move, considering.
Maybe I should wait outside and intercept the intercept? What if mom scares her
away? What if Alice doesn't realize I'm still in the closet and does something
to me that can't be passed off as just friends and then mom freaks out and
forbids me to go anywhere with her?

Anxiousness was creeping into my stomach and I frowned. The date hadn't started
yet and already it was a disaster. And what the hell was so important about
gardening right now? The stupid bushes were practically dead, anyway. Why
couldn't she do it later? Like when I'm not expecting a secret date who
happened to be a thirsty and unpredictable vampire?

Maybe I should go out there. Maybe I should wait down the block so she doesn't
get anywhere near mom. But what if she drives up from the other side? Maybe I
should—

I never figured out what I should do, because that was when Alice pulled up in
her chrome silver Volvo. Cute car, but I had more important things to worry
about. Alice had gotten out—it was cold but dry weather—and when she saw my mom
she smiled and waved. Mom rose from the bushes and waved back. Alice came
skipping down the garden path and paused to chat with a smile prettier than all
the flowers around her.

For a second I stared through the window with a silly smile on my face. She was
five minutes early and I'd been hoping she'd be early, because being early
meant that she was eager to see me, that she couldn't wait. Or that her watch
was a little fast. But judging from the fact that she craves my blood, it's
probably safe to assume she's eager.

And oh my god she was cute. Her outfit was the cutest thing I'd ever seen on
her, and completely different from anything I'd seen her wear at school.

She was wearing a pale blue hockey shirt, baggy black jeans, and clunky black
boots. It was a very tomboyish look, and insanely cute. All of it was loose
fitting, but you could see the shape of her body under it. The hockey shirt
fell past her hips and the very looseness of it emphasized how slim and slender
she was. Her smallness was so exaggerated in those huge clothes that she looked
younger, like twelve or fourteen years old. Combined with her girlish posture
she looked like a little girl, but at the same time you couldn't help noticing
the bumps of her breasts under the shirt, bumps that were very prominent and
very provocative.

The windowglass was misted from my breath, but I didn't exactly drool. I just
couldn't stop staring with my dopey grin. She was so cute I felt like
squealing. So cute I felt like melting on the spot and—

Suddenly she looked toward the house and I realized I better get the hell out
there. I snapped out of my Alice-induced trance and ran to the front door,
composed myself, and went out.

She'd been talking with my mom, but she lit up when she saw me. She broke off
midsentance, ran up to me on the front porch, threw her arms around my waist,
and placed an enthusiastic kiss on my cheek. She even popped her foot
romantically.

It would've been sweet if mom wasn't watching.

My heart had started to soar from the touch of her lips but then I saw mom's
reaction and it crashed and burned. It was only on the cheek, but still. Her
face drained and she looked away briefly. Was it really that weird to kiss a
friend on the cheek? Girl's did that all the time, right? Or was it my
reaction? Did she see how much the kiss meant to me?

"Hi, Bella!" Alice chirped happily, one arm still around my waist, already
leading me to the car. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," I said, one eye on mom. She had replaced her smile and I decided it was
safe to look at her. I gestured at the car loosely. "Um, me and Alice are gonna
go now, so…"

"Yeah, nice to meet you Mrs Swan," Alice added cheerfully. "See you later."

Mom smiled with a slight uncertainty and nodded. "What time do you girls think
you'll be back?"

Alice gave me a look tinged with confusion and something else. Hurt?
Accusation? I didn't know, but I hurried to answer mom.

"I'm not sure," I said, shrugging a shoulder for effect. "I'll call you later
and let you know."

"Okay," mom said, watching as Alice opened the car door for me, another
romantic gesture that couldn't quite be ignored or validated. She frowned
doubtfully. "Well, have fun, honey."

Alice swung closed the car door after I'd gotten in and I watched through the
windshield as she waved to mom and said something cheerful and then she came
around to the driver's side and got in.

"You didn't tell your mom you won't be home tonight?" she asked before she'd
even started the car. "Did you change your mind?"

She pulled away from the curb without looking at the road, and there was
something vulnerable in her expression, something needy. I smiled to reassure
her.

"No, I just thought it would be easier if I called her later. She's a little
over-protective."

She nodded and smiled in relief, turning a corner and continuing down the road.

"Okay," she said. "Oh, and sorry for being so obvious back there, but I was
just so excited to see you. She'll pass it off as just friends, don't worry.
And believe it or not, I was holding back."

I snorted playfully. "You were?"

"Mmhm," she said, craning her neck to look out the window as if she was
searching for something. "Hold on a sec."

She swerved the car into an empty parking lot and hit the brake and then she
leaned over the gearshift and kissed me full on the lips.

The first thing I felt was surprise—a jolt in my stomach that quickly flipped
into hunger. I let my mouth fall open and her tongue slipped in almost
instantly. I gasped and responded, leaning into her face greedily, pushing my
tongue against her own, my mouth flooding with saliva.

Well.

I guess she really was eager to see me.

But as eager as she was, she couldn't possibly be as eager as me. My own
eagerness had me straining against my seatbelt to get more of her mouth. The
abrupt touch of her tongue had triggered that hungry mindlessness that takes me
over sometimes, and suddenly all my self-consciousness and shyness was
forgotten. All that mattered was getting my tongue inside her as quickly as
possible. The hunger contracted in my stomach and I needed to eat her:

Right now.

Or at least as soon as I can get this fucking seatbelt of me. The damn thing
felt like some weird bondage device, holding me back and teasing me and
restraining me from the absolute yumminess that sat right there in the driver's
seat beside me. I broke the kiss and fumbled with the seatbelt release.

"Fucking thing…" I muttered, and Alice giggled, leaned over, and calmly pressed
the button. The seatbelt clicked and disengaged. Alice's face was right there
in front of mine, so close I could flick my tongue out onto her lips, and for a
second I stared, mesmerized by the perfection of her face. Then she placed her
lips onto mine, gently, almost passively, and suddenly the trance was broken.

I pushed her back on her seat and dove at her jeans like a slut. She shifted
and helped me pull them down, giggling as she fell back and bumped her head
against the driver's door with a soft bonk, boots in the air. I ducked my head
between her thighs, literally salivating. The hunger in my stomach was like
some ghast incubus, almost unnatural with it's intensity, and her scent, her
musky lavender and honey scent, almost made me swoon.

Her pussy was as pretty as it always was and I didn't waste any time. She
wasn't wet yet, just soft and silky. I licked at her rapidly, just licking,
lapping like a cat, and she moaned pleasurably, urging me on. She was getting
wet and the taste was incredible, and the scent—the scent was blinding.

Both my hands were busy trying to balance in this odd position—leaning over the
gearbox with the shift poking into my stomach—so I couldn't use any fingers,
but that's okay be cause I didn't want to. All I wanted to use was my mouth. I
don't know if it was weird or not, but I was starting to really love doing oral
on Alice. She had a gorgeous pussy and it felt so natural and so perfect to go
down on it, like a kiss, like I was kissing directly into her core, where she
felt it most.

She was getting wetter and finally I slipped my tongue inside her. She gave a
little gasp and closed her thighs over my head, trapping my face in her
unearthly warmth. I wriggled my tongue inside her and pulled it out and licked
her a little and slipped it back in again, her thighs clenching on my ears and
her breath hissing.

"Mmm," Alice moaned. "Keep going, baby. Hurry."

I kept going. I licked at her clit and took it between my lips.

"Yes," she hissed. "Keep going. Hurry. Quick."

She seemed to be anxious for her orgasm so I did by best to speed it along; I
sucked on her clit hard enough to make a slurping sound. I heard the climax
building in her breathing, like on the phone last night, and finally it came.
Her thighs closed over my ears like hot earmuffs and I almost didn't hear her
last moan, a high gasp trailing off into a giggle.

I stayed between her legs for as long as she let me, placing tender kisses all
over her lovely pussy, but eventually her hips shifted and I was forced to sit
up.

She was smiling and fixing her jeans, and for a second I just watched her
patiently, almost shyly, wondering if it was okay to kiss her. But I didn't
have to wonder very long, because as soon as she had her jeans zipped up, she
beckoned to me with one finger and a smirk.

"Come here," she said.

Smiling, I crawled over, and smiling, she wrapped her arms around my neck and
pulled me into a kiss. She settled back into the driver's seat and pulled me on
top of her so that I was straddling her lap with the steering wheel digging
into my back.

She let her mouth fall open and I used my sudden leverage to plunge my tongue
into it and explore every contour of that warm cavern. My tongue probed out her
teeth and pricked her fangs. I licked the roof of her mouth. I swirled my
tongue around hers and licked it and pushed it around like an angry lover. She
was moaning and stroking my back under my top, tilting her face into the kiss,
allowing me all the access I needed. I was holding her face with my hands, her
cheeks red hot under my fingers, and I was lost in the kiss, lost in the
incredible warmth and wetness of her mouth.

I was so lost that I hadn't realized how horny I was getting. Still straddling
her lap, I was pushing my hips at her for friction, but without much success. I
was starting to get a little forceful and suddenly my butt bumped back into the
steering wheel and hit the horn.

We startled apart as the blast echoed through the empty parking lot. I gave a
shaky chuckle, and tucked hair behind my ear as I took a quick glance out the
windows, momentarily forgetting the intense throb between my legs. But happily
for my continued integrity there was nothing out there, no cars, no people,
hardly even any weeds. We were parked slanted across two spaces and the only
thing could possibly be perving on us was a dirty brick wall painted yellow.

"Sorry," Alice giggled, reaching for the lever to adjust the seat. "Let me put
it back a little."

I grinned, blushing, breath shuddering, praying no one would go by. The parking
lot was pretty isolated, sure, but it was still technically in public, which
didn't really flatter my self-image. If someone had asked me three weeks ago if
I was the kind of girl likely to indulge in pre-date semi-public car-sex, I
would've been forced to admit that Bella Swan considered herself a little too
virtuous for that kind of conduct. Yet here I was, hot, horny, and straddling
my girlfriend's lap as she pushed back the car seat to allow more room for a
quickie in the front seat—and I wasn't even thinking about stopping, just being
quick. Vampire's are known for their corrupting influence and I was starting to
see why.

When she had the seat back I started to lean to her face, eager to resume the
kiss, but she pushed be back gently. "Wait, wait, wait," she whispered, and
then jerked my top up over my breasts.

Ah. Speaking of corruption.

My bra was plain cotton but I didn't think my bra was what she wanted to see.
And I was right. She grinned up at me, stroking my bra cups, my breasts
tingling fiercely.

"Is this okay?" she asked.

I nodded mutely, my face flaming. I remembered our escapade on the phone last
night, all the things she said and all the things she'd pictured doing, and I
wondered—do we have time? Probably not, but I wasn't going to object to being
groped a little, not by Alice's hands. In many ways her hands were even hotter
than my breasts. My girls should be flattered.

She didn't bother unhooking the bra, she just pulled the cups away and then
pushed it up around my collar with my top, leaving my breasts exposed to her
eyes—and her hands. Grinning, she took two handfuls and hefted them gently, as
if weighing them. Not to flatter myself, but they had to be two pounds each, at
least, maybe more. I smiled shyly, my hands dangling at my sides, watching her
play with them. She gave me a little grin, and then she leaned slightly and
placed two gentle kisses on each nipple, making me shiver with each kiss. Then
she captured one nipple between her lips and started sucking on it.

I chuckled and leaned back—right into the steering wheel. Another blast of the
horn echoed through the parking lot and I burst out laughing embarrassedly.
Alice giggled into my boobs and then she grabbed my face abruptly and pulled me
down into a kiss.

My laughter silenced in an instant, both smothered by her lips and disappearing
into a sudden pang of hunger. I moaned into her mouth and resumed the kiss
directly from where I left off, my mind wandering in a haze as I tried to
somehow fuck her tongue with my own. I didn't have enough brain cells left to
realize such a thing wasn't exactly possible, but I kept trying. I bullied her
tongue around her mouth, licking up her warm saliva, loving the taste. She
tasted minty and slightly like berries, as if she'd just eaten some kind of
candy. It was delicious.

Her hands were hard at work fondling my breasts, and I was pushing my chest at
her, moaning into her mouth every time she squeezed or pinched my nipples. Her
hands were so warm and small. My breasts felt like a perfect fit inside them
and the hornier I got the harder I kissed her and the harder I kissed her the
harder she squeezed. I groaned into her mouth and for the first time I felt a
slight power over her. The power of being wanted. Some ridiculous part of me
had always assumed that she was only having sex with me to be nice or
something, but now, now with her face so hot and helpless and moaning under my
kiss and her hands groping my breasts so greedily, I realized that she wasn't
being nice at all. She wanted me. I still couldn't exactly understand why, but
she did. She really did. The way she was stroking my breasts so hungrily
couldn't possibly be fake, and as I kissed her, I actually felt my opinion of
myself improve a little. After all; how could I be such a worthless person if I
have nice tits?

This sudden influx of self-esteem—as anti-feminist as it was—gave me a surge of
excitement, and I grinded my hips into her lap, which achieved nothing, but
making me more horny. Alice, however, got the hint and instantly stuck a hand
into my pants. I almost squealed, and then two of her fingers slid directly
inside me and I did squeal, a giggly rush of air as my hips spasmed into her
hand.

The kiss been broken by the sudden penetration and I was bucking into her
fingers. My pants were still on so she didn't have a lot of room to maneuver.
Her fingers weren't going in and out, they were just there, there inside me, my
walls clenching down on them as they curled and wiggled.

I was still practically topless, and I'd leaned back, giving her a view of my
breasts. She was watching them with a wide smile and I decided to give her
something to see; I bucked with my hips and made them wobble fetchingly. It was
the first time I'd deliberately flaunted any part of my body and I must admit
it was kind of fun. Whee, look at me. They're big, and they jiggle, too. I was
blushing like mad, but my shyness was somewhat offset by the fact that there
were two fingers buried knuckle-deep into my pussy and I was going slightly
crazy from it.

Alice, meanwhile, had decided to truly make me snap. She leaned and licked
across one of my nipples, making me twitch and jiggle a little more. She then
captured the nipple in her mouth and started sucking. My breath was coming hard
and sharp and I angled my chest into her face, holding her head in place,
clenching my fingers in her soft pixie hair.

Her free hand had dropped into my pants and found my clit and that was it. Two
fingers in my pussy, a thumb and forefinger pinching my clit, and soft pink
lips sucking on my nipples—I came relatively instantly. I shuddered up against
her, cried out, and flopped down on top of her, panting into her shoulder.

Well. I don't know what Alice has planned for the rest of the day, but it was a
good start.

I had closed my eyes and I was hoping to enjoy the moment for a second when
Alice spoke.

"Bella?" she whispered. "You'd better move."

She was speaking into my throat—her lips brushing against my pulsepoint—and I
guessed why I had to move without asking.

Still breathing heavy, I raised up off her and flopped back down on the
passenger side, and then I quickly tucked my breasts back into my bra and
pulled my top down, watching Alice. She had her head bowed and she was
breathing heavy, heavier than me. I straightened my top and she gave me shaky
giggle. The restraint of not feeding was obviously taking it's toll, but she
tried to hide it.

"That's how I really wanted to say hi back at your mom's house," she said,
pulling away from the parking lot and accelerating away. She gave me a wink.
"She might've been suspicious, though."

I smiled and had to agree. Getting tongued and fucked on the front porch
might've been a little harder to pass off as just friends. Still, I had to
wonder why she was so adamant about not feeding. Why wait? I'd told her I was
cool with it.

But then I remembered what she said on the phone:

I was hoping you might want to make it special for me.

So that's it. She wanted it to be special. Well, I guess I could understand
that. I just didn't get what the big deal was with waiting. She could've made
it special last night, or the night before that, or any night. Why wait till
she was at her very limit?

I didn't know, but I guess it wasn't really important. If she wanted it
special, I'd make it special. I wasn't sure exactly how to do that, but doing
whatever she wanted seemed like a logical way to start.

We kept driving and soon Alice was chatting away. It was the first time I'd
been in a car with her driving and I learnt quickly that Alice liked to drive
fast—very fast. She wove through town like a speed racer, flooring it down
straights, accelerating through corners, braking at the stoplights in quiet
screeches of rubber. She was making impressive time, but my heart was in my
throat the entire ride, and I wasn't exactly exhilarated. I trusted Alice,
sure, but I wasn't immortal, and I couldn't help feeling some slight concern at
the possibly of fiery death in a high-speed vehicular collision. It bought to
mind some of the videos I'd seen in driver's ed, but I didn't want to seem like
a sissy, so I consoled myself with the fact that at least she wasn't drunk, and
I kept my worries to myself.

It all seemed second nature to Alice, anyway. It wasn't like she was trying to
impress me, it was like she was just having fun, or even just driving normally.
She didn't appear to be concentrating on going fast and there was no tensing of
her shoulders or pursing of her eyebrows as she negotiated turns. She just
lounged in her seat and roared through town, pushing the speed limit, making
idle chit chat. As if we weren't narrowly avoiding gruesome mutilation at each
intersection.

Within half an hour we had left Fork's behind us and we were on the open road
toward Seattle. Outside the window I could see trees. That's it. Just trees.
I'd never been a huge fan of trees, but I hadn't been hoping on a view anyway.
Why look out the window when Alice was right there beside me? In her pale blue
hockey shirt with her baggy sleeves and those cute little bumps in the front.
She was wearing her butterfly hairclip again, perched in her black pixie hair
as if Alice herself were a flower. She was chatting away happily about the
merits and applications of the color pink—she was a strong advocate—and I
settled back in my seat and stared at her dreamily, losing myself in her voice,
her scent, her cuteness.

It was raining by the time we got to Seattle and I found the sound of rain on
the car roof to be soothing. It wasn't quite lunch time but I was starting to
get curious about where we were going to eat. I remembered the agony I'd went
through last week when I was trying to decide where to take her, and I wondered
if she might be experiencing something similar.

I don't know why, but for some reason I was expecting her to try and impress me
with something extravagant, some ultra-expensive restaurant where I'd be so
underdressed that I'd cringe in embarrassment with each step as we walked in. I
mean, she obviously has tons of cash, and she does have a flamboyant streak. It
seemed natural to assume—which just goes to show how stupid and vain I am.

Alice hadn't even mention lunch. We drove straight to the mall, and we were
walking around for maybe a couple minutes, hand in hand, when she broke off
mid-sentence, pointed out some random sushi bar, and said:

"Ooh, how bout sushi? You hungry yet?"

That was her grand luncheon invitation.

To be honest I was relieved. I'd never had sushi, of course, and if it was any
one other than Alice suggesting it, I'd probably prefer to starve. But if
anything could possibly make raw fish taste good, it was Alice's
recommendation, so I smiled and nodded. "Sure," I said. "Okay."

The sushi place was just a small booth among other booths. We took two stools
at the counter and I let Alice order, since I had no idea what on the menu was
even edible. I just hoped none of it was still alive.

From everything I knew about sushi, I was expecting something you might be
tempted to thread onto the end of a hook for bait rather than eat, but what
arrived was a paper box of steaming noodles with bits of fully cooked seafood
in it. It was actually really good.

Alice was still chatting relentlessly and by now she'd moved on to a
dissertation on the maritime habits of sharks and their methods of
reproduction. She'd been in a gabby mood all morning and I wondered if she was
a little nervous. Aside from the episode in the car, she hadn't mentioned
feeding or given any indication that tonight was the night she was going to do
it. It was like she was making a special effort to act as human as possible, as
if we were simply enjoying a casual date, nothing out of the ordinary. As if
tonight wasn't eventually going to conclude with my blood on her lips.

It was nice, but I didn't want to avoid the truth, especially since I was kind
of excited about it. I wanted to know more about this feeding stuff. I wanted
to know what to expect. Sharks were a fascinating subject, no doubt about
it—especially in Alice's voice—but in all honesty I was mostly waiting for an
opportunity to change topic. And finally I found one.

"Hey," I said, as soon as there was a break in the conversation. "Can I ask you
a question?"

"Of course," she said, poking at her box of noodles with her chopsticks. "What
is it?"

I decided to approach the topic subtly. "I was just wondering," I said. "Do you
enjoy food? Like, does it taste the same to you as it does to me?"

"Mmhm," she said, slurping up a noodle. Last week she'd been so dainty when she
ate pizza, and I couldn't help wondering what changed. Maybe she was more
comfortable with me now and didn't feel the need to eat so neatly. I wished I
felt that comfortable, but for my part, I was still eating with an Olympic
level of precision. "I love seafood," she added. "I could eat seafood all day."

"But…" I glanced around and lowered my voice. "…you prefer blood?"

She froze for a second. It must've been the b-word. The mall was busy and there
was lots of noise behind us, people coming and going, rain on the glass roof. I
felt a little silly mentioning this stuff in such an every-day environment, but
I really wanted to talk about it.

Alice recovered and gave me a small smile. She nodded but she didn't speak. I
nodded back, observed a slight pause, and then tried a new approach.

"Hey, can I ask you another question?"

She seemed to know what it was going to be. She smiled. "Sure."

I glanced around and dropped my voice even lower. "What does blood taste like?"

She looked at me for a second with a little smile and then she looked away and
shrugged a shoulder. "It's hard to explain."

"Can you try?"

"Have you ever done heroin?"

I chuckled, taken aback. "No," I said. "Of course not."

She gave another little shrug. "Then you really wouldn't understand."

Maybe I should've let it go, but I really wanted to know what the big deal was.
I'd read vampire novels before and I'd never really understood why the vampire
craves blood so much. Is it a meal? A drug? Or is it simply a theatrical device
used in cheap romance to emphasize feelings of feminine helplessness in the
heroine? I mean, seriously—what's the deal?

Alice was eating again and I leaned slightly. "Is it addictive?" I asked
quietly.

She gave me a little nod, a slight smile.

I tried to read her expression but I couldn't. I shrugged slightly. "It doesn't
seem as bad as drugs," I mentioned.

She smiled and slurped up a noodle. "It's not," she said. Then added: "In the
beginning. Addiction never begins ugly. It begins with excitement. And
satisfaction. But eventually the need overwhelms the pleasure until the need is
all you have left. A need that can never be sated, that can never be abandoned.
A need dearer to you than your own heart. A need that grows more desperate by
the hour until finally…it consumes you."

Her voice had grown soft and intense. There wasn't much in her expression that
might indicate that she was joking but I smiled awkwardly anyway. "Is that
going to happen?" I asked. After all, if would suck to be consumed, no pun
intended.

But she smiled and shook her head. "No," she said. "I was just speaking of
addiction in general."

I let out a sigh that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. She giggled.

"I'd never hurt you, Bella," she said, placing a hand over mine.

I felt a tiny jolt as she said my name and at the touch. "I know."

"Do you?"

"Sure."

She smiled and withdrew her hand. "Thanks," she said. "I like how you never
judge me for what I am. It's nice. Naïve…but nice."

To be honest I wasn't even sure what naïve meant. I thought it meant something
like stupid, but why would it be stupid not to judge her? Is she implying that
she's dangerous and I don't see it? Or is she just being self-deprecating? I
don't know, but either way she's still insanely cute.

"Hey, can I ask you a question," I asked for the third time.

She giggled through a mouthful of noodles. "You do realize that is in itself a
question, don't you?"

I smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. Can I?"

She giggled again. "Of course, Bella. Ask me anything."

"Well, I was wondering…" I remembered we were in a public place and dropped my
voice again. "Do different people taste different? Blood, I mean."

She looked me over and then shook her head. "No," she said. "Blood is blood.
The variable that changes is emotional attachment. The more attached we are to
the person the greater the desire to feed from them."

That seemed a little odd. "Why?"

She smiled and shrugged a shoulder. "We all long to destroy those we love."

I snorted. "I don't."

She giggled. "Like I said: naïve."

I gave her a puzzled look. She smiled, stuck her chopsticks in the box, and
leaned to me slightly to explain.

"When I was a girl," she whispered, "I had a pet kitten. I loved her more than
anything. Then one day I hugged her so tight I broke her paw." She paused to
let that sink in then smiled and gestured airily with her chopsticks.
"Accidentally, of course, but you see the point."

I frowned thoughtfully. "So basically…you want to hug me to death?"

She smiled and went back to her noodles. "Something like that."

I had to admit I was kind of troubled. I'd known dating a vampire wasn't going
to be your typical highschool romance, but unless I'm misunderstanding
something here, it seems that my girlfriend had just told me to my face that
she might accidentally kill me some day. I didn't believe she'd actually do it,
but still.

"But I don't get it," I said, my appetite forgotten. "You hardly know me. How
could you have any…attachment?"

Another little shrug. "Attachment forms in various ways. I wasn't precisely in
love with my pet kitten, was I? But she was cute and she really liked me. How
could I resist reciprocating?"

So now she's comparing me to a cat? Well. As far as animal comparisons go I
guess I could do worse. A cat was better than a turtle, for instance, although
a puppy would probably be cuter.

"Besides, you and I are a unique case," she went on. "I've always been attached
to you. I was attached to you before I ever met you."

I think I knew what she meant by that. "You mean like me with the dreams?"

She nodded and smiled. "Exactly. Every step I've ever taken has been leading me
to you and you alone. Whether I willed it or not. Our attachment was formed and
waiting before we ever met. It's called destiny."

I gave little snort. "I've never really believed in destiny."

She cocked her head. "No?"

I smiled and shook my head. "Not really. I always thought the world was kind of
just…random. Mom always said everything happens for a reason, but I always
thought that was kind of stupid."

Alice smiled mysteriously. "Ah, but there is a reason. Not always easily
discernable, but there. Furthermore, it doesn't matter what you believe, or
what your mom believes, or even what I believe. Destiny isn't magic. It's
protons and neurons moving in patterns with the shape of the pattern predicated
on the pattern before it and so on into an infinitude of pre-arranged matter
and molecules unto the utmost edge of the universe. Do you think having a
soulmate is special? It's not. You and I and the love between us are but facts
among others. There's nothing either of us could've done to avoid or advance
it. We, both of us, are simply…destined."

She finished with a smile and a flourish of her chopsticks. My brows drew
together as I pondered how I was supposed to react to that, because mostly I
was just confused. I'd been trying to pay attention, but to be honest she lost
me when she started talking about protons. I mean, seriously; is this a date or
science class?

I gave her a weird look, half smiling. "Um, is that supposed to be romantic?"

She smiled, turning back to her food. "Well, I think it is," she said. "Don't
you?"

"I don't know," I chuckled. "You make it sound like I'm a science project or
something."

She giggled and poked around with her chopsticks. "It's okay, don't hurt your
head over it. I like talking in circles. It feeds my vanity. Here, try some
sashimi."

She poked a bit of fish at my face and I opened my mouth obediently. It tasted
squishy, but I nodded and said: "Mmm."

She smirked and put the chopsticks in her mouth. She didn't pick up any food,
she just tasted the sticks where they'd touched my lips, a semi-erotic act that
gave me a quick thrill.

"Mmm," she said, her eyes on mine.

I smiled and looked away, blushing, my appetite returning.

We ate, and after lunch we did something I've always wanted to do; we hung out
at the mall.

Such a simple thing, commonplace for most people, but for me it was something
of an event. I'd never been shopping with anyone but my mom, bland excursions
to the grocery store with me sulking along behind her and carrying a basket and
praying we wouldn't bump into anyone from school. Pure misery. Today, however,
was like something out of my dreams, complete with a pretty girl at my side—and
not just any pretty girl, but Alice, my Alice. The prettiest girl in the world.

Hand in hand we strolled among the stores, hand in hand we stood on the
escalators as they rose to the upper level. Hand in hand we passed through the
food court and hand in hand we dawdled at shop windows, pointing, smiling,
chatting. We drew stares, but it wasn't as bad as I would've thought. It was
worse at school. These were pure strangers who hadn't had several years of
middle school to develop a mindless zoo-like hatred for me. The glances were
brief and there was hardly any expression in them at all. No one pointed and
called us names, no one ran at us with a pitchfork to rout us from the
premises. Unlike at school these people seemed to have better things to do than
tease the lesbian. I was still achingly self-conscious, of course—my clothes
were still cheap and my hoody was still ugly—but deep down beyond all that
there was a bedrock of newly-formed pride that kept me from wishing I was
invisible or dead, like I usually did in public.

It was mostly Alice. She drew attention, sure, but it was hard not to feel
flattered that it was my hand she was holding. Me, mine, Bella Swan's. She was
holding my hand because she liked me, and although it was utterly inexplicable
why, it was nevertheless impossible not to be flattered that this smart,
pretty, funny, quirky girl actually liked me.

My self-respect had been in the negative these last few years, but with Alice's
hand in mine, and Alice's voice jabbering happily beside me, I could almost
feel the needle on the graph swing upwards. I was aware that it's completely
pathetic for a girl's self-worth to hinge entirely on her relationship, of
course, but frankly I was too desperate to really give a fuck. If it was my
fate to value myself only as my girlfriend value's me, then so be it. I'm sure
she has better taste than I do, anyway.

We continued on through the mall, no real destination, just exploring. Alice
would stop to examine whatever took her fancy, a purse in a window, a hotdog on
a stick, a display of lawn furniture. We browsed through the toy section of a
department store with Alice mauling through everything that had a Try Me
sticker in the corner of the box, shooting me with plastic guns that made laser
noises, chatting with talking stuffed pandas, making obscene suggestions to the
Barbie Dolls while peeking up their skirts. I trailed at her side happily,
soaking in her every word. Some of her material was inane, even stupid, but to
me it was the height of wit and I could've listened to her mall-induced
frivolity all day long.

I even had fun shopping for clothes, which was a first for me. Usually when I
went clothes shopping I was hampered by both a lack of money and a threat of
general bullying at school if I even tried to break out of my fugly mould.
Alice made all the difference. I still had no money, of course, but Alice was
eager to buy me stuff and I didn't have the stubbornness to even pretend to say
no. I just blushed and nodded, trailing along behind her like a lovesick
servant as she pawed through racks of tops and skirts, passing a few choice
articles back to me. By the time we'd made a sweep of the store I had a whole
armful of colorful outfits for both me and her and when she was satisfied with
out preliminary haul she ordered me into one of the change rooms and closed the
door behind us.

Where we soon lost interest in the clothes and became more interested in the
fact that we were alone and half naked. It was inevitable, really. The idea had
occurred to me before the door was even shut and I'm sure it had occurred to
Alice even earlier.

It was kind of disturbing how physical our relationship was becoming, but hey;
I'm not complaining.

It started innocently enough. We undressed to our underwear—she was wearing
blue, blue bra, blue boyshorts—and tried a few things on, posing in the
mirrors, fawning and demurring over how cute we were. I was in such a happy
mood that I soaked up her compliments with hardly any insecurity at all. I even
believed her, well mostly.

But eventually we lost interest in the clothes and became more interested with
the bodies underneath. Alice had just dropped a skirt about her ankles and with
a blush I observed that her ass was still incredible. It fit snuggly in the
soft blue material of her boyshorts, all soft and round with the elastic
hugging her contours. I was jealous of that elastic. I wanted to hug her
contours.

Some of this must've showed in my face because suddenly Alice giggled. When I
looked up she was watching me in the mirror with a knowing expression.

"You really like my ass, don't you?" she smirked. "I've noticed you staring at
it before."

I blushed even deeper and tried to make an excuse. "Well, it's…kind of hot."

Alice turned her head over her shoulder to examine her rear reflection, tilting
her ass slightly and adjusting the elastic of her panties with her fingers. "It
is, isn't it? Sometimes I forget how hot I am. It's one of the perks of being a
demonic predator who's primary weapon is seduction. The devil hath power to
assume pleasing form. Hm?"

I didn't really hear, I was staring at her ass. When I realized she was talking
to me I looked up, cleared my throat—it had gone all tight—and said: "Huh?"

Something about demons or devils. I didn't care if she was demon. I didn't care
if she was actually a guy, that ass is just too hot.

She rolled her eyes elaborately at my dumbness, and then she turned to me and
wrapped her arms around my neck, gazing up into my face. We were wearing
nothing but our underwear and I could feel the heat of her body and the heat in
her eyes. "Tell you what," she said softly. "Why don't you just go ahead and
cop a feel? We both know you want too."

I blushed all over again, but I didn't move. I was rigid with conflict. I was
shy, sure, but there was certain a caution, too. After all, what if I touch her
and my hand disintegrates on contact? Such hotness is not to be trifled with.

"It's okay, don't be shy," she whispered, taking my hand and guiding it. "We're
soulmates, remember? You don't need to hide your desires from me."

She pressed my hand against the warm cotton of her underpants and instantly my
heart started throbbing. She kissed the corner of my mouth.

"In fact, you can't hide them," she whispered. "Do you know why?"

"Why?" I breathed, applying just the faintest pressure with my hand, my head
swimming at how indescribably soft and warm she was.

She placed a kiss on my lips. "Because we're soulmates. Our souls are one and
thus are our desires. Your desires are my desires." Another kiss. "All of
them…"

I caressed her gently, very gently, as gentle as I could. I was deadly afraid
of degrading her but I loved the feel of her so much. It's not easy to
communicate love and respect by groping a girl's ass, but I tried my best.

"Alice," I whispered into her lips.

But apparently our desires weren't as coordinated as she claimed. I was
interested in something tender and romantic, but she seemed to have a more
trashy turn of mind. She pulled back from my lips and grinned.

"Hey, wanna do something wild?"

The tone of her voice was wild enough, honestly, and I was too dazed to reply.
She spun away from me and at first my heart broke at losing the touch of her
ass, but then my heart knitted back together again as she dropped her panties
and unlatched her bra.

"Do you know what trib is?" she asked.

"Err…" I had some vague idea from my brief forays on the internet to research
my sexuality, but I wasn't certain enough to say so.

Complete naked she sorted though the pile of discarded clothes and came up with
a tight black miniskirt.

"Trib is when you rub yourself against your partner," she went on, pulling on
the skirt. "Traditionally it's a scissors kind of thing, but it doesn't have to
be pussy to pussy, you can use any area of the anatomy you want. Including…"

The miniskirt was stretchy black material and it fit her ass perfectly. She
smirked over her shoulder and hiked it up over her hips.

"…your partner's ass."

She wiggled her butt cutely and giggled. She was completely naked except for a
skanky miniskirt that was hiked up to reveal everything and the blush that
washed over my face almost cooked me alive.

She turned to me, smiling, and wrapped her arms around my neck. "What do you
think?"

I had no idea. I couldn't have been more mystified if she'd just stripped down
and told me she wanted me to hump her ass like an animal. Wait, that IS what
she's telling me. Well, no wonder why I'm about to die from embarrassment.

Weirdly, the most prominent thing I felt was demeaned, which was kind of
ungrateful, really. I should've been on my knees thanking her and weeping with
gratitude, and yet I couldn't help feeling slightly miffed that she would just
automatically assume that I was the kind of girl who would eagerly engage in
such base behavior. I was such a girl, of course, but still.

I swallowed and said: "Um…"

Alice giggled and turned me loose. "I'll take that as a yes. Now…" She looked
about the small change room. "I'm not about to lay on the floor in a public
place, so we'll have to do it standing up. Ah, here!"

There was a single chair in the corner with our clothes stacked on it. Alice
grabbed it and swept off the clothes and arranged it by the mirror and then she
knelt on it with one knee and pointed her ass at my hips.

"Okay, I'm ready."

I almost burst into tears from fretfulness. Did she really expect me to do
this? Could I? I wanted to—oh fuck did I want to—but weren't we crossing some
line of decency here?

Alice smiled at me in the mirror. "What's the matter, baby?"

"Well, um…" I swallowed. It felt like swallowing a watermelon in my throat. "I
don't know, it just seems a little…"

I gestured at her bare ass, pointing at me like that. And not just her ass, her
pussy too, her pussy just barely peeking from between her legs. I had an insane
desire to run over and eat her out, but her ass, her ass right there, so round
and gorgeous and—

Alice smirked. "A little what?"

I swallowed again. "A little, um…" I didn't want to offend her with a bad word
so I swallowed one more time and said: "…unladylike?"

She giggled, her ass bobbing. My pussy was throbbing like mad and there was a
damp patch on the front of my panties.

"Unladylike?" she parroted. "Please. Who are you, my mother?"

"Well, it's just…"

"Bella, I think you need to get used to the idea of dating a vampire.
Seriously. I live for sex and blood, nothing else. If you can't come to terms
with that then maybe this isn't going to work out."

"But you said we're soulmates."

She smirked. "I'm assuming we're soulmates based on the available evidence, but
soulmates or not, all relationships have to be worked at in order to thrive.
Now get over here and work at it."

"Oh, fine," I muttered fretfully.

I stepped forward, but she tossed her chin in the mirror. "Take off your
underwear," she commanded.

I pouted, but I did it. My panties came away sticky and she openly leered in
the mirror as I took off my bra, which gave me a quick flash of excitement. I
dropped it to the floor and she wriggled her ass impatiently.

"Okay, hurry up."

I was standing right behind her. She had one foot on the floor and one knee on
the chair and she was leaning with her hands on the backrest. Her legs were
parted slightly and I could see the moisture between them.

Tentatively, I reached out and touched her. My hands felt like blocks of wood
attached to my wrist, but I lifted one of them and placed it flat against her
smooth round buttock. I felt her quiver beneath my hand and a weird longing
ripped through my chest.

"Oh god you're beautiful, Alice…"

I was talking to her ass but I didn't have enough brain power to register how
ridiculous that was. Alice giggled and rubbed her ass into my hand
provocatively.

"You're hand isn't going to make you come, baby. Hurry up."

I frowned and shook myself out of it. "Okay, um…"

How to proceed? I knew my objective; achieve orgasm via genital rubbing against
my girlfriend's luscious ass. But how?

Her ass was hip-level to me, but even on tiptoes I couldn't exactly, um…

Alice noticed my perplexion in the mirror. "Put your foot on the chair," she
suggested. "You need to get a good angle."

Good idea.

I put my foot on the chair beside her knee. My legs were cocked open over her
ass and she raised her hips slightly till she bumped my pussy.

I almost fell over at the contact. Just a feather light touch of her ass
against my throbbing entrance, but it felt like she'd backed into me with a
truck. My pussy contracted in a quick spasm of horniness and I took a grip on
her hips to keep from overbalancing.

"Oh god," I said, rubbing against her ass, almost automatically. "Oh god…"

She giggled. "That's why I recommended it. Keep going."

I clenched down on nothing and kept going, pushing my silky pussy at the warm
smoothness of her ass. I started slow, but a rhythm began to build in my hips
as the climax grew inside me, my pussy dragging hot streaks of wetness over her
firm buttock, slathering her ass with my essence, grinding down on her harder
and harder. I groaned and bumped my clit against her. She giggled.

"Grab my tits," she said. "Can you reach?"

I could reach.

I reached around and grabbed a handful of whichever one was closer. Left. She
was bent over so her breasts were hanging slightly and it felt like pure warm
weight in my hand. Just pure soft sexy flesh. I squeezed it and pushed at her
ass with my clit, groaning, my eyes squeezed shut. I kept rubbing, squeezing
her breast in rhythm, and then I grabbed her other breast and started squeezing
that one too.

"Open your eyes, baby."

I opened my eyes. Alice was in the mirror smiling. I was mounted over her ass,
humping away at her buttock like a wild woman, groping at her breasts, my dark
hair spilling over my bare shoulders. And there she was smiling.

"Watch my face, okay? It'll make you come quicker."

She was right, I could already feel it. Her face was fairly neutral since she
obviously wasn't anywhere near orgasm herself—unless there was some hidden
pleasure sensors in a girl's ass I wasn't aware of—but the eye contact alone
was enough to push me over the edge. There was something compliant in her eyes,
not submissive, but something that seemed to taunt me playfully, something that
said: See how pretty I am? See how much you want me?

See how much I like it?

I moaned and I squeezed down on her tits. It made her smile. My own tits were
swaying and wobbling as I grinded against her ass and she flickered her eyes
over them in the mirror deliberately and then she licked her lips and smiled
and looked into my eyes boldly. She bumped back into my pussy and I kept
grinding and grinding, her ass slippery and wet with my arousal, my breath
coming sharper and sharper. I kept staring at her in the mirror as the climax
welled between my legs and then I couldn't look anymore.

I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned. The orgasm shivered through my body and I
pushed against her so hard I almost tipped over the chair.

Wow…

Fucking awesome.

When I set my foot down on solid ground I almost fell over. The climax was
still tingling away between my legs and I was trying to catch my breath.

"That was amazing," I said, swallowing to wet my mouth. "Did it feel good for
you too?"

Kind of a dumb question, but I felt a little guilty about it. It was wild, no
doubt about it, but I couldn't help feeling like I'd…used her. It was an
uncomfortable feeling, because I didn't want to think of her like that. I liked
to think of her as pure pristine angel; not a sex object.

She giggled and straightened up. She was still wearing nothing but that black
miniskirt about her hips. That skirt and nothing else. "Oh yes," she said, "it
was great. Not physically, psychologically. A girl likes to be debased every
now and then. You'll understand as you get older. But if you want to make me
feel good physically…"

She flopped down onto the chair, lifted her legs, hooked her hands around her
knees, and spread them as high and wide as they would go.

"…you're more than welcome."

The first thing I felt was stunned.

I mean, fuck. Slouched in the chair, legs in the air, naked but for that damn
miniskirt. Her pussy was soaked and it looked oh so yummy between her thighs,
all fat and juicy with girlcum. If I'd had any presence of mind at all—and if
our relationship wasn't so new—I would've been sorely tempted to get a picture
on my cell phone.

She was looking up at me expectantly and I was grateful to have an invitation I
didn't have to feel guilty about; I knelt at the chair and accepted with gusto.

She giggled as my lips made contact and squealed as my tongue slid inside.

"Ooh, you're getting good at that," she said, pulling back her legs even
further. "But be quick, okay? We've got shopping to do."

I would've preferred to take my time—I was really starting to love this oral
stuff—but I decided to hurry. She was just too delicious and I didn't really
have the restraint. I licked at her hungrily and kissed her and stuck my tongue
in and out, in and out, and then I licked at her some more, kissed her clit,
suckled on it. I wiggled my tongue back into her entrance and pushed it in as
deeply as I could and then I withdrew it and licked at her silky lips and then
pushed it back in.

"Yes," she hissed, sitting holding up her legs. "Keep going, baby. Hurry."

I started fucking her with my tongue, building speed as I plunged it in and
out, my lips mashing against her pussy with each thrust. She started moaning
and I started teasing her clit with my thumb. Her breath came in short gasps
and just as she was on the cusp of orgasm I forced my tongue into her entrance
as deeply as it would go, curling it up inside her and licking deep into her
core.

It pushed her over the edge and as she came by mouth was flooded with her
exquisite juices. I swallowed it all up and I kept on licking until I felt her
legs flop down either side of me.

"Okay, sweetie," she said, tapping my shoulder. "I'm good, you can stop."

I gave her pussy one last kiss and she giggled and cupped my face in her hands.
She leaned down from the chair and kissed my wet mouth.

"Thanks, baby," she said. "That was amazing."

I chuckled shyly and wiped at my face with my palms. She rose with a sigh and,
almost daintily, fixed her skirt. She pulled it down over her hips and smoothed
it out, watching her reflection in the mirror. I was sitting on the floor with
my elbow on the chair, flushed and exhausted. She cocked her hip and I raked my
eyes over her ass. It was still amazing.

"You know, I think I'm gonna buy this skirt," she said. "It suits me, don't you
think?"

If she was going to buy stuff on the basis of what looked good on her, then
she'd have to buy the whole store, even the men's department, because
everything looked good on her. But I just smiled and nodded.

"Yeah," I said. "It looks great."

It took a while for me to flutter back to life after such a intensive
interlude, but I did. Alice had revived almost instantly, and she'd picked up
her conversation right from where she'd left off, as if nothing had happened at
all. Chick must have massive stamina.

She did wind up buying the skirt, and other skirts, and a few tops and a couple
pairs of pants, a scarf, several belts, a kicky new beret. Most of it was for
me, so it would've been rude to complain about carrying the bags.

She handed the cash over the counter with a cocky flourish—all hundreds, of
course—but it didn't impress me as much as the memory of her ass. Still, nice
to know I'm dating a millionaire—and my soulmate, too. Does this mean I can
quit school and retire with her to a villa in the south of France? We'd have to
talk about it later, when we're more familiar. I wouldn't want to seem like a
gold-digger.

How much money does she really have, anyway? She had a huge house and all her
sisters had their own cars. It probably wouldn't be polite to ask, but I had to
wonder.

In any case, Alice still wasn't done shopping—not even close—but before we
resumed our adventures, she made an executive call to stash the bags in her car
so I wouldn't have to carry them everywhere. We were on our way to the elevator
bank when we passed the cinema on the second floor. There was a poster on the
wall for some animated kids movie about animals that bought Alice to a halt
mid-sentence.

"Aww, look at the zebra!" she cooed. "I love zebras! Do you wanna see the
zebra, Bella?"

I could name things I'd rather see, but I responded enthusiastically, only
subtly hefting the shopping bags to underline the point that they were heavy.
We checked the movie times and found out that the next showing was in half an
hour, which gave us enough time to deposit the bags and grab a snack and even
ride the elevator up and down for a while. Alice loved the elevator. She was
having so much fun we were almost late for the movie.

It was early afternoon so the theater was almost empty. It was dark inside and
very quiet. We went in hand in hand, and I started into the aisle to get good
seats, but Alice tugged me back gently.

"Let's sit over there," she whispered. "In the corner."

I frowned slightly. "Isn't it a better view in the center?"

"Yeah, but…" She lowered her voice and glanced about. "It's more private over
there," she whispered. "I might not be able to control myself for the whole
movie."

I stared at her. Is she kidding? Oh god I hope she's kidding. I mean, we'd
already—I mean, twice! She couldn't possibly…

Alice smiled and tugged me away into the dark corner. I followed floatily, like
something pulled on a string.

We sat down as the movie was starting and Alice maneuvered my arm around her
shoulders and snuggled into me. Then she reached over and took my other hand,
just holding it. I glanced at her shyly, watching her pretty face flicker in
the bluish light of the movie, and she smiled and placed a quick kiss on my
lips. Then she re-snuggled under my arm and settled to watch the movie.

At first everything was fine, and I'd began to think her concerns for her
uncontrollable vampiric lust were a little exaggerated. So far in our short
relationship, we hadn't proved to be the most conventional of lovers, but at
least we had the decency to do it all behind closed doors. But there was no
closed door here. We were relatively isolated in our dark corner, of course,
but all the same I was relieved she was behaving herself.

Yes, relieved. True, it was more than slightly intoxicating to be so close to
her, to feel her warmth at my side, to inhale her gentle scent in the sultry
darkness of the theater. Very intoxicating. The soundtrack of the movie seemed
to be slowly fading until I could hear my own breathing, my own heartbeat,
beginning to panic now because maybe it was me who was losing control and not—

But no, no, not in public. God, it was like biology all over again. When would
I be able to sit close to this girl without losing my head and ruining my
underwear?

I glanced around. I saw a few dark shapes in further rows, but the place was
practically empty. In a way it was even more private than a change room, or
even a car. I mean, at least it was dark. It wasn't like it was broad daylight
or anything. It was almost as private as a bedroom, if you think about it.
Especially if we could be really quiet.

Alice's grip had tightened on my hand and I knew she was having similar
thoughts, although I doubt she trying as hard to rationalize it as much as me.
Her thumb was caressing my hand, tracing patterns, and I really wish she'd stop
doing that. It was driving me crazy. And her scent! Sweet, sweet lavender and
honey, slightly musky. And so warm, oh god she was so warm. So warm that I
found myself pulling her closer subtly, tightening my arm around her soft
shoulders. I could feel them going rigid and I could hear her breathing,
shallow and quick, just like me. Her head was resting on my shoulder and I
turned my nose toward it slightly. My eyes fell shut as I inhaled. She smelt so
good, oh god so good. I kissed her hair, just a quick kiss, and then I rubbed
my cheek against her head dreamily, breathing her in, inhaling her, my heart
floating vaguely in my chest.

"Bella?"

A faint whisper, I almost didn't hear it.

"Yes?"

"I'm horny."

Well. When she says it like that, it really doesn't matter if we're in public,
does it?

She hadn't moved, she'd just whispered, and I didn't move either. I tried to
think of some kind of response that included the necessary reluctance and
propriety, but the best I could come up with was:

"Um…Are you sure?"

"Yes," she whispered. She shifted slightly and looked at me, her eyes
smoldering in the pale light. "Kiss me."

I did as she asked. Well, she didn't actually ask, she commanded, but I did it
all the same. I touched my lips to hers, and at first the kiss was gentle,
almost innocent. It didn't stay that way, of course. Alice requested entrance
with her tongue, and I granted it with a sinking feeling in my chest, her
tongue silently sliding into my mouth as she wrapped her arms around my neck
and pulled me closer.

We were hunkered down behind the backrest, but to be honest, I was highly
uncomfortable. I was aware that it's a standard cliché for young couples to
make out at the movies, as often seen in reputable programs such as sitcoms and
romantic comedies, but somehow in real-life it seemed a little more risky.
Maybe it's not such a big deal for straight couples, since straight couples are
more or less transparent, but doing it with a girl made me a million times more
sensitive to discovery. What if we got kicked out the theater? The movie wasn't
even finished.

And yet, there was excitement, too, a hot thrill in the pit of my stomach that
got hotter and hotter the longer we made out. It was her kiss. I loved it too
much to let anything taint it, and soon I didn't care if we were in public. A
haze was rising in my head and as usual I swiftly found myself swept away in
the warm lavender tide of her kiss. It was like she was sucking the anxiety out
of my mouth, leaving me hot and eager in her arms.

Then something funny happened on the screen and some kid burst out laughing in
the far corner.

I jerked away from Alice and looked around wildly, but it was all clear. Alice
didn't giggle, but she was smiling. I turned back to her, breathless, my heart
hammering. She cupped my cheek with her hand, as if to calm me, and flickered
her eyes over my lips. Her face was pale and in the movie-light, ghostly and
slightly glowing, ethereal, perfect. She touched my lips with her fingertips,
making my whole face tingle madly, and then she placed a long deliberate kiss
on them. Her lips were so warm and so wonderful. I let my eyes fall shut and I
leaned into her.

Well. I didn't know about her sex drive, but I was still more than satisfied
from our adventure in the change rooms, so I would've been perfectly happy just
to make out for the rest of my life. Seriously. I could've kissed her forever.

Alice, of course, had other plans. For a girl who'd been so adamant about going
slow only a week ago, she was certainly very frisky today. Maybe the going slow
policy had expired as soon as she'd decided to feed. Maybe the going slow was
only to delay the feeding as long as possible and now it didn't matter anymore.

Either way, she broke the kiss with a soft smacking sound and whispered:

"Can I have your hand?"

It sounded kind of ominous—will I get it back?—but I handed it over anyway. She
took a quick glance around, which prompted me to take a quick glance around as
well, and then she carefully guided my hand up her shirt.

Two seconds ago I would've been happy to kiss her until the end of time. Now,
however, I realized that there was something else I'd like to do, too.

Her hockey shirt was shimmering in the dim light and I could see the shape of
our hands under the baggy material. She pressed my hand against her breast and
held it there and suddenly my throat went tight.

"Alice," I whispered hoarsely.

Alice smirked and reached up her top with her other hand. I could feel the warm
cotton on her bra cup and the hard nub of her nipple inside it. She caressed my
hand with both of hers, holding my hand at her chest like a pledge of some
kind, and then one of her hands pulled away the bra cup while her other hand
pressed my palm into the soft lovely mound of her breast.

"Alice," I whispered, a little more insistently.

She giggled, so softly I barely heard it over the movie, and then she snaked
her hand up my top, pulled away my own bra, and then took a handful.

I kissed her—hard.

Alice returned the kiss and squeezed me playfully, which almost made me implode
with giddiness. We'd hunkered down against the backrests even further, but I
doubt either of us was overly concerned with discovery at this point. In fact,
it seemed silly that I was afraid to begin with. Who cares if we get caught and
kicked out? The movie sucked and Alice was just so fucking hot. Why shouldn't
we express our feelings in a graphic manner in a public area? Feelings like
these were too beautiful to waste.

I had no idea how long we'd been making out and, well, groping each other—it
sounds so much less self-righteous when you say it like that—but the movie was
only ninety minutes so obviously there was a timeframe involved. The main
question was:

How far are we going here?

I didn't know, but my pussy could've made a few suggestions. A brusque
fingering, for instance. You'd think the silly thing would've been satisfied
till tonight at least, but no. It was practically begging for some kind of
attention, and thankfully, Alice did not ignore it.

She broke the kiss and grinned. "Shh…" she whispered, and then she slid her
hand out from my top and touched the crotch of my pants with her fingers,
pushing against the heat there with her fingertips. I shivered and bit my lip.
She smirked, watching my face. "Is this okay?"

I nodded, no second thoughts. My pants were tan and had an elastic waistband;
no button, no zip. Alice slipped her hand inside my underwear and caressed me
with two fingers, smiling and watching my face. She wriggled a finger into my
fold and pushed it inside me. Just one finger. Enough to make me quiver and
clench down awkwardly.

My hand was still poised at her breast but now I dropped it to her jeans and
breathed:

"Do you want me to…?"

She giggled quietly and curled her finger inside me gently. "Yes," she
whispered. "I want you to."

I shivered from her finger, but I managed to fumble her jeans open and get a
hand into her panties. The material was moist and she was moist too. She was
sitting on my right so I had to use my left hand. That, plus her merciless
fingering made me clumsy, but I copied her as best I could. I probed at her
entrance a little, squirming in my seat from her own probing, my finger slick
with her warm arousal.

We were making out again, our lips mashed and our tongues dancing romantically.
Eventually she retracted her finger and focused on my clit, teasing it with her
fingertip. I was vaguely amazed at her level of control, because honestly I was
struggling to keep my head from popping, especially when she squeezed down on
my nub with her thumb and forefinger.

By now I'd found her own clit and I was teasing it the same as she was teasing
mine. We continued making out, our mingled breath short and choppy. Our hands
went fast, tweaking each other's clits, rubbing, pinching, and finally I came.
It was a relatively mild orgasm compared to the last one, but enough to make me
stifle a cry into her mouth, and Alice came shortly after.

The kiss hadn't been broken with either of our climaxes and for a while we just
kept making out. We wiped our sticky fingers on each other's tops and caressed
each other's breasts idly, our tongues not stopping for an instant, but slower
now, slow and tender. My mind was blank of everything but Alice, Alice, Alice.
My entire world was filled of nothing but her lips and her tongue and her
warmth, drifting, lost in her kiss. She cupped my face with her hands and
pressed her lips flush against mine, kissing me, kissing me, and then her
tongue slipped past my lips and—

The lights in the theater came on.

At first I was just dazed then I quickly sprang apart, turning pale instantly.
People were already making for the exit and I was seized with the sudden urge
to reach into my top and correct my bra cup, but then I realized that no one
could see, and it would probably be better to just turn my face away in
humiliation and pretend everything was normal.

It was a good plan. Two people passed down the aisle without even looking at
us, and then we were alone.

Alice was smiling her mischievous smile and she had her hands composed in her
lap to hide the unzipped state of her jeans. Now she buttoned then and zipped
them up and then she reached up her hockey shirt to tuck her breast back into
her bra.

I smiled shyly and followed suit, straightening myself up, glancing around to
make sure we were really alone. Alice's whole face was glowing, her lips shiny
and kiss-swollen, and she giggled at me and leaned to brush some hair from my
face.

"So," she grinned. "Cool movie, huh?"

I chuckled breathlessly and shrugged. "It was okay."

By the time we'd reappeared in the mall, we were practically skipping, our
clasped hands swinging between us. We headed for the nearest department store,
and the first thing we did was buy fresh underwear, since walking around for
the rest of the afternoon in damp panties probably wasn't comfortable or
hygienic.

Alice grabbed two pairs of a rack haphazardly, paid for them, and shooed me
into a change room. The door was barely closed when she dropped the underwear
to the floor, grabbed me by my hoody, and pulled me into a violent kiss.

"Alice!" I hissed, startled at the sudden attack. "What the hell are you
doing?!"

"I'm sorry, I can't help it," she breathed, shoving a hand into my pants to
grab my butt. "I get so crazy when I don't feed…"

I was about to reply but she stuck her tongue into my mouth. It wasn't the
unpleasant thing that had ever happened to me, but really; so soon? My pussy
was still tingling from the theater.

I stumbled back into the mirror and Alice pressed into me. She gripped my ass
in her hand and glared into my eyes heatedly, pressing into me with her chest.

"You're not sick of me already, are you?"

Actually, no, I wasn't. The sudden mauling was more than enough to kick start
my frayed libido. I shook my head, but before I could put it into words, her
tongue was in my mouth again.

I moaned, and I tried to kiss her back, but Alice wasn't playing around with
foreplay this time. She yanked my pants down and started groping my crotch in a
way that wasn't very romantic but effective nonetheless. I took the hint and
pulled down her jeans and shoved a hand down her panties. She bucked her pelvis
into my hand as soon as I touched her and I tried to mimic her ferocity, but
the best I could manage was a frantic rubbing.

She chest-bumped me like a football player and kissed at my mouth furiously. I
had to turn my face away to catch my breath, and as I did her lips landed on my
cheek, my jaw, and finally on my neck.

My heart stopped as her teeth grazed my throat. My eyes opened and I saw us in
the side mirror, Alice pressing me up against the wall, our pants at our knees,
our hands between each other's thighs—and Alice's mouth at my neck. I looked
like what I was; a vampire victim. Pale and darkhaired, helpless under the lips
and teeth of this ravenous succubus.

It was actually really hot.

She had one hand clenched in my hair and I could feel pressure, as if she was
trying to pull my head back. Her teeth were starting to dig into my flesh and a
wave of cold fear washed over me, but thrilling fear, exciting fear. She made a
soft whimpering sound into my neck that caused another spike of excitement in
my heart. I could feel how much she wanted to bite me and I wanted her to do
it. I wanted my blood to spill on her lips and flood her mouth like a climax,
and I wanted her to take me right then, right now.

But she didn't, and I think I knew she wouldn't. I was still rubbing her clit
and her nub felt so hard under my fingers, so hard and so small, like a little
pearl of pleasure. I pinched it and felt her teeth tighten, but I still knew
she wouldn't do it. I pinched again, and rubbed, and then I turned away from
the mirror and kissed her hair, her sweet smelling hair, so soft and fragrant.

Something loosened in her body. Her teeth went away, but her lips remained. She
licked at my throat, as if to make it feel better where she'd almost bitten,
and then she came, gasping into my neck.

For a few minutes she just stood there breathing heavy, her forehead touching
my shoulder. Then she looked up and smiled and kissed my lips.

"I'm sorry," she said. "You must think I'm some kind of animal, huh?"

I shook my head. "Of course not."

She smiled. Her own hand had fallen away from my crotch ages ago, but now she
bought it back. She caressed my entrance gently and started teasing my clit.

"It's hard to explain," she whispered, "but the longer I go without feeding,
the more I require your body. Not just your body, but intimacy. Closeness."

I moaned. She kissed my flushed cheek and I let my eyes fall shut.

"But it's a double edged sword," she whispered. "Closeness doesn't drive away
the bloodlust, it only provides a thrill of anticipation. The thrill itself is
a reasonable distraction, but the greater the anticipation, the harder it
becomes to abstain. It's like endless foreplay without ever achieving…"

She smiled and pinched my clit.

"…the climax."

I looked at her with my flushed face, my feet spread. "Just do it if you want,"
I told her breathily. "I don't care."

"No," she whispered. "It has to be perfect. It has to be just…right."

She kissed me slowly and I wrapped my arms around her. She was stroking my clit
tenderly and I had to admit I enjoyed it more than the rough stuff. I was
caressing one of her shoulders and then slowly I bought my hand down along her
arm and I held her hand at her delicate wrist as she stroked me toward climax,
accepting her kiss as I stood there on bucking knees, until finally I broke
away from her mouth so that I'd have breath to come.

Alice let me catch my breath and then gave me one last kiss. I was exhausted
and dopey and the kiss only seemed to muddle my head even more. Then she
giggled and stepped back and starting wriggling out her jeans and kicking off
her boots. "Come on," she said. "We'd better get changed."

We put on our fresh underwear and got dressed. Alice wadded up our dirty
panties in a ball and stuffed them in the corner of her purse, which seemed
incredibly improper and yet kind of hot, too, and then we linked arms and
sailed out into the store.

We were passing a rack of colorful spandex thongs when Alice pulled up short.
"You know, while we're here, we might as well buy something nice for tonight,"
she said, perusing the rack. "What do you think?"

I blushed. "I don't know. Do we have to?"

Alice seemed surprised. "Of course we have to. Absolutely must. The fate of the
universe depends upon it—well, my universe. But yes, my dear, I'm afraid it's
quite vital to be appropriately attired, tonight of all nights."

I puzzled over her cryptically imperative need to wear fancy underwear, but she
just pouted at the thongs and gestured at them vaguely. "You know, these are no
good," she said. "Where's the lacy stuff?"

And with that she took my hand and led me further into the underwear
department.

Words can't express the complicated thrill I felt at browsing these scanty
articles at Alice's side, knowing that she was going to buy something for me
and something for her, knowing we'd be wearing these things in front of each
other, that we were deliberately going to be sexy for each other. A hot blush
was fixed on my face and a weird nervousness was bubbling in my chest. I felt
scandalous and self-conscious, following meekly behind Alice, pretending to be
reluctant and modest, which was extremely hypocritical considering just last
week I'd shoplifted a thong in much the same spirit.

Alice had found the lacy stuff and she was browsing matching sets of bras and
panties, pondering colors and cuts, holding various pieces to her own body over
her clothes, or to mine.

"The bra will have to be strapless," she was saying, "for reasons you'll find
out soon enough, but I'm torn about the panties. As much as I love a g-string,
I think something fuller would be appropriate, something refined, something
classy. Something off the hip, maybe. What do you think?"

I shrugged, still blushing. "Um…alright."

"And black, of course," Alice went on, plucking something from the rack.
"There's no point even considering anything else. I'm a colorful girl, but
tonight isn't for playing around. Tonight will be something more somber. More
meaningful. Black seems appropriate, even traditional. What do you think?"

I shrugged, still blushing. "Um…okay."

"Ooh, how about this?" Alice plucked something else from the rack. It was black
lace, a matching set. She grinned and spread the panties against her palm to
show the lace pattern. "What do you think? Rawr?"

I shrugged, still blushing. "Um…sure."

In the end I let Alice decide and Alice decided on something black, see-
through, expensive, and very sexy. She bought matching sets for both of us and
led me back out into the mall, hand in hand with the lingerie bag swinging at
her offside.

It was getting late by now and the lights had come on. The crowd had thinned
and the foodcourts were practically empty. Alice bought me a strawberry
milkshake that we shared with the same straw as we strolled along and by and by
we came to a shop that had a mannequin in the window wearing a little black
dress. Alice was diverted instantly.

"Wow, look at that," she said. "Isn't it beautiful?"

I nodded. The mannequin reminded me of Alice, her body type. It was smaller
than me and I wondered what size the dress was supposed to be. Zero? How many
women who walk by would actually fit in that thing? I wouldn't, and I'm a half-
anorexic teenager.

Alice took my arm excitedly. "Wanna try it on?"

I panicked. "Me?" I chuckled awkwardly. "No, I meant beautiful on someone else.
Not me. I don't wear dresses."

But Alice was tugging me into the store. "Please?" she begged. "Come on, it'll
be fun."

Needless to say, I was cautious about entering yet another change room with
Alice, but maybe I was being paranoid. We'd browsed the store a little, and
Alice picked out one of the little black dresses in my size and even selected a
dress for herself, something black and satin, and then we adjourned to the
change rooms.

It was an up-scale store and the change rooms were very spacious with mirror
walls. Even the back of the door was mirrored. Alice didn't attack me within
seconds of entering so I assumed it was safe to change. She had even turned
around and covered her eyes so it would be a surprise, which I thought was
sweet. She seemed to have high expectations of me in a dress and I hoped I
wouldn't disappoint her.

I pulled off my top and kicked off my boots. The dress was strapless and it
zipped up the side and the skirt was knee-length and bell-shaped. It was a
beautiful dress, better than prom-quality, and more expensive, too. It was also
kind of tricky to get on. At first I tried to step into the neckline like a
pair of pants—proof that I'd never worn a dress before or even considered the
logistics of it—but then I realized how stupid that was and wound up pulling it
on over my head like a shirt.

Alice, her back to me, hands over her eyes, was bobbing up and down with
excitement.

"Can I look yet?"

I regarded myself doubtfully in the mirror. The dress fit okay and the dress
was nice, but it looked odd with me standing there in my socks, my hair all
ruffled, bra straps over my shoulders. I felt a flutter of nervousness and
turned to Alice.

"Okay," I said.

She spun around and gasped in delight. "Wow!" she gasped. "You look amazing!"

I blushed, not really believing her. "I do?"

"Mmhm," she said, staring me up and down. She slipped the bra straps off my
shoulders and stepped back to look me over again. "It's perfect. Absolutely
perfect."

"Thanks," I blushed. I shuffled my feet awkwardly. "Can I take it off now?"

Alice was still looking me up and down. "Yes, but you have to let me buy it for
you."

"Oh, I can't let you do that," I said quickly. "It's expensive and I'd never
wear it, anyway."

Alice knelt on the floor like a seamstress and fiddled with the skirt. "You can
wear it tonight," she said. "I made reservations at the Marriot. The dinning
room's kind of classy."

I panicked. "Oh, but I don't… I mean, it's just…"

She was kneeling at my feet and she'd noticed my socks. "We'll have to get you
some shoes, too, something with a heel. And maybe some earrings. What do you
think?"

She was kneeling there looking up at me, and suddenly I felt a strong desire to
shut up and make her happy. She was so pretty, the way she was blinking up at
me, and I was being an idiot, really. If she wanted to buy me a dress and treat
me to dinner at a place that I'd probably never even set foot in if I hadn't
met her, then maybe I should stop acting like a self-absorbed emo loser and
just faint from glee like a regular girl. Well, a regular girl who dates other
girls.

I didn't faint, of course, but as I surrendered to the desire to please her, I
found myself heaving a sigh and smiling down at her agreeably. "Okay," I said
simply.

She frowned but she didn't look displeased. "Okay?"

I nodded, smiling wider. "Sure."

She giggled, still kneeling there at my feet. "Really, just like that? I
thought you didn't wear dresses?"

I blushed, because the response was so clear in my head, so natural, and I
blushed because I knew I was going to say it out loud. "I'll wear one for you,"
I said, glancing aside so she wouldn't see how much I meant it.

Alice smiled up at me for a moment, then she busied herself arranging the skirt
of my dress, as if to get the pleats exactly right. "You will, will you? What
else would you do for me?"

I shrugged a shoulder, deciding to be honest. "Anything."

"Anything, hm?" Kneeling there at my feet, she flickered her eyes at my
hips—which were level to her mouth—and smiled up at me, running her hands up
and down my calves, making my skin tingle. She looked up at me boldly. "You
know, I hope you don't have your heart set on being the submissive one of this
relationship. Because I'm plenty submissive, too. And unlike you…I'm assertive
enough to demonstrate."

And with that she bowed and kissed my feet daintily.

I yelped with embarrassment and I almost slapped at her head to shoo her away.
"Alice!" I hissed.

Her lips were now trailing kisses over my shins. "Mm?" she said, placing a kiss
on each of my kneecaps just below the hem of the skirt.

I glanced at the mirror wildly, fighting the urge to run away. "Alice, what are
you doing?"

She was lifting the skirt and then she leaned and placed a kiss against the
front of my panties. I shivered and I honestly couldn't believe she was doing
this—I mean, how many times had we already done it today? My pussy was actually
sore. Not painfully, but the poor thing had certainly had quite a workout, not
to mention my clit. And there was still the promise of a hotel room to live
through, too.

Alice yanked down my panties and licked at my pussy casually. I shivered again.
I was dry, but I didn't think I'd be staying that way for much longer. Already
I could feel a swirling excitement in the pit of my stomach. My feet were
shuffling apart almost automatically.

"Hold up the skirt," she said, and I did it.

"Alice," I whispered frantically. "Alice, are you serious?"

She smiled up at me. "Yes. Do you mind?"

"No, but… I mean, I don't…"

She giggled and licked at me again.

"Remember on the phone last night?" she asked with another lick. "When I said
vampire's are obsessive compulsive?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"Well…" Lick. "Sometimes it manifests like this. I knew I was going to do this
as soon as we walked into the store. I couldn't have prevented myself even if I
tried." Lick. "The idea popped into my head…" She let her tongue into my
entrance and out again. "…and I was powerless to resist."

I was watching her in the mirror with a feeling of…I don't even know. A thrill
of some kind. Alice on her knees, licking at me like a…pet? And me, standing
there in this exquisite dress, holding up my skirt with my underwear at my
ankles, standing in my socks with my feet apart, bra straps dangling off my
shoulders. I looked like a servant girl playing dress-up for the amusement of
her princess.

"It's not really like OCD," Alice went on, still licking. "It's more like
nymphomania. Or hypersexuality, as they call it these days. It doesn't matter
how recently we've done it. It doesn't even matter if we want it or not.
Because it's not about the pleasure… it's about the need."

I gasped quietly as her tongue brushed up against my clit.

She giggled and winked up at me. "So you'll have to be patient with me, kay?"

I nodded frantically, my mind barely computing what she was saying. I was
filled with that urge to simply make her happy and I would've nodded to
anything. "Okay."

Alice gave me a smirk and resumed her attention to my rapidly moistening pussy.
A hot flush rose in my cheeks as I watched her in the mirror. Her baggy clothes
didn't give much view of her figure, but it was hot enough to watch her face,
to watch her tongue elongate from her mouth as she licked me over and over,
watching her lips suckle at my clit.

I came relatively quickly, considering it was my—what? Fifth orgasm since
morning? I just hoped I'd have enough hormones left over for tonight.

She made a moaning sound and angled one last kiss into my pussy and then she
giggled and bounced to her feet. I quickly pulled up my panties, breathing in
quick trembles.

"Okay," Alice announced, clapping her hands. "Why don't you get changed while I
try on mine?"

She was already kicking off her boots and unzipping her jeans. I nodded and
reached for the zip, peeling out the dress in a daze, my limbs weak and loose.
It was so weird. If someone had asked me a month ago to describe my perfect
girlfriend, I would've described a ultra-hot nympho vampiress who adores me
with a near-lethal soulmate-like intensity—or something like that. It was
enough to make a delirious giggle bubble in my tummy. Am I the luckiest girl in
the world, or am I just a little warped?

Deep down, though, I had to wonder how much of it was true, and how much was
flirty banter. It was amazing, really, how much more open she was with me
today, now that we had a week of familiarity under our belts and in our pants.
She was like a entirely different person from the shy and demure girl I'd dated
last week. It was as if some kind of restraint had broken in her and she was
finally being herself. I liked spicy Alice.

By the time I had my clothes on, Alice was wriggling into her dress with a eel-
like efficiency. I watched the black satin conform against her figure and of
course she looked amazing. It was more of a cocktail dress than a gown, short,
tight, body-hugging, spaghetti straps. Super-sexy. It was the true definition
of a little black dress—only in satin, which made it even more eye catching.
She was adjusting her bust in the neckline and smiling at the mirror. Her eyes
met mine.

"Well?" she said, smoothing the fabric against her body. "What do you think? Is
it me, or does this baby just scream whore of darkness?"

I smiled at her, nodding, staring at her body. "It's beautiful," I said, and as
I stared I felt the familiar hunger stir in my stomach. I smiled shyly, took a
step forward, and slowly sank to my knees. I glanced pointedly at her hips, my
heart hammering in my throat, but I didn't dare touch her without permission. I
swallowed and whispered: "Do you want me to…?"

There was something mesmerized in my voice that made her smile. Then the smile
quirked into a smirk and she hiked the dress up to expose her panties before
sliding them down around her knees. "Ah, Bella," she said, putting a hand in my
hair and drawing my mouth closer to her moist entrance. "Weren't you listening,
baby? It's not about what I want. It's what I need…"

I was already licking at her. I think I even understood what she meant. Hunger
lurched in my stomach and I took a grip on her hips and kept licking. I think I
knew exactly what she meant, because I had a need, too. A need to be close to
her. To be as intimate as possible. A weird wave of love was washing over me as
I licked at her hungrily and I was filled with a strange certainty that I'd
been waiting all my life just for her. To be close to her. To love her.

I pushed my tongue inside her and opened my eyes. She was smiling down at me
and stroking my hair. My mouth was flush to her pussy so I couldn't smile, but
I didn't feel like smiling. I closed my eyes and started licking harder. I
licked up across her pussy and felt the nub of her clit against my tongue. I
started sucking on it and licking at it. Alice had liberated one foot from the
hobble of her panties and she wrapped her leg around my head, pushing at my
mouth with her pelvis. I could feel the warmth of her thigh flush against the
side of my face and I kept licking, kept sucking, and soon she was panting
quietly with little moans, and finally she gave a cry and came.

She lowered her leg and actually stumbled a bit as she stood. "Whoa," she
giggled. "You really are getting good at that."

I smiled and stood up. "Hey, Alice?"

She was putting her panties back on and straightening the dress. "Yeah, baby?"

"Can we go to the hotel now?" I asked hopefully. "I don't really want to shop
any more."

Alice pouted playfully. "No more shopping? But we don't even have shoes."

"I know, but…" I blushed and shrugged. "I just wanna be alone with you." Then I
chuckled awkwardly. "I'm kind of tired, you know?"

She giggled and wrapped her arms around me. "Me too," she said, "but don't
worry, we'll be really quick. All we need is shoes and a couple other things.
But mostly shoes. I mean, we really need shoes. Shoes are more important than
anything."

I sighed and smiled. "If you say so."

She giggled and kissed me. "Thanks, baby. It'll be worth it, trust me. Tonight
is going to be a night you'll never forget."

I chuckled. "It already is."

We went directly to a shoe store where she took one look at the wares and
selected a pair of black sling-back torture devices that she insisted I try on.

"Try walking around," she said, and it seemed like such a simple thing to do.
After all, I've been walking since before I was two years old. I was an early
walker, a fact my mom was quite proud of. There's really no reason I shouldn't
be able to walk around in an exotic pair of black pumps, right?

Wrong. I could barely walk in a straight line. The heel felt ten inches tall
and my toes felt crushed under the weight of my clumsy steps. I'd never worn
heels in my life and even three steps was enough to suggest a cramp in my
calves. They were the kind of shoes that even grown women would be wary of, and
all in all I probably would've been more graceful on a skateboard.

Alice herself had selected a similar pair and she was wearing them now. She
looked slightly ridiculous with her baggy black jeans rolled to her knees and
those dainty black pumps on her bare feet, but I had to admire her poise. She
wore them as if they were extensions of her own feet.

She was watching my ungainly steps with a sorrowful countenance and she shook
her head. "I suppose we'll have to find something else," she said. She pouted
at the shoes huffily. "And they're so perfect too."

She seemed so upset that I couldn't help jumping at some way to make it better.

"It's okay," I said quickly. "I don't mind."

And in all honesty, I didn't. Shoes were obviously a big deal to her and I was
eager to make her happy in whatever way I could. The shoes weren't that bad,
anyway. It wasn't like I was gonna trip and crack my head open. A mild burning
in my calves tomorrow morning is really the worst that could happen. Or a
sprained ankle, but I was willing to risk even that.

She smiled but she wasn't convinced. "Bella," she admonished playfully. "That's
very sweet of you, but I can't let you risk breaking your neck simply to
appease my whim of seeing you in heels. We'll find you something more
comfortable, don't worry."

But her concern for me only made me more stubborn. I mean, seriously; what am
I, some wilting-lily that can't even hack an evening in heels? Admittedly, it
was somewhat ironic for a girl to prove her manliness through the rigors of
feminine footwear, but that's exactly what I was planning to do.

"No, really," I said. "They're cool, I like them."

Oddly enough, this was true too. Granted, I'd greatly prefer them on someone
else, but they were beautiful shoes, even I could see that. Sexy shoes. It was
hard not to feel a certain sass at how they forced my posture into something
arched and feline—while I was standing still, at least. While I was moving the
effect wasn't quite so attractive.

Alice smiled and she seemed to soften. "Well," she said, and I could tell I'd
convinced her. "Maybe we could try to keep you off your feet as much as
possible. They are perfect, aren't they?"

She giggled and she looked so happy that I felt like her own personal knight in
shining armor—and heels.

It was getting dark by the time we left the shoe store. Alice had promised that
shoes were the last on the item on the list, but that was only because she
thought a haul of cosmetics would've been implied, but at least she was quick.
I trailed her through the cosmetics department in a heady miasma of makeup and
perfume, none of which could even remotely compete with Alice's scent, and
Alice started snatching up the required articles, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick.

I didn't know if animal testing was illegal or not, but Alice didn't seem to
have any principles against testing on me, and I tried not to feel like a chimp
as she squirted me with perfumes and sniffed me and painted my lips in
different shades and rubbed them out and painted them all over again. I was
even cooperative. Alice's excitement was infectious, and having my face
experimented upon with chemical cosmetics by a plucky fashionista was certainly
more fun than curling up on the couch with an eBook like I usually did on
Sunday nights.

I was pretty tired by now, anyway. I hadn't gotten much sleep and I'd been up
pretty early. It was past six, and I was drained from both being on my feet all
day and from Alice's frequent attacks. To be honest, I couldn't wait to get to
the hotel. I had no idea what Alice was planning, but I thought it would be
great if we could skip dinner. I knew we wouldn't—she was way too hyped about
the dresses—but all I really wanted to do was go to bed—with her.

Fantasies had been forming in my mind as we roved the cosmetics department, and
the one thing I kept coming back to, the one thing I wanted more than anything,
was cuddling.

Yes; cuddling.

I didn't know about Alice's sex drive, but mine was probably taken care of till
next March. Right now, all I wanted was her, just her. Her warmth, her
softness. All I really wanted to do was lay in her arms and fall asleep. I
couldn't think of anything I'd love to do more. My heart positively glowed at
the thought.

But, of course, there was also feeding to consider. I didn't know how she
planned to do it, but I pictured it a lot like our first time, with both of us
naked, holding each other, my head tilted back, offering, wanting, gasping
under the hot pierce of her teeth. I was starting to realize why this was such
a big deal to her. It was an intimate moment; of course she wanted it to be
special.

"There's one last thing we need to get," Alice said, as she passed her credit
card over the counter—she'd ran out of cash ages ago. "But it's a surprise."

"Surprise?"

"Mmhm. So why don't you take the bags out to the car and I'll meet you in a
couple minutes?"

I felt a spasm of panic, but she was already passing me the bags, and I decided
to be a big girl and not cry about it.

It was dark by now, and the rain had stopped. I lugged the bags out into the
parking lot and stashed them in the backseat, glancing over my shoulders to
make sure there wasn't any serial-killers creeping up on me. It was dark, after
all, and as a willowy teenage girl I was naturally afraid of every stranger in
the immediate vicinity. There were some scattered figures moving toward cars
with shopping bags, and any one of them could've been a violent rapist—well,
that middle-aged woman with a toddler on her hip probably wasn't, but still.
That shit happens.

Alice had given me the key, and for a few seconds I contemplated getting in the
car, locking all the doors, and hiding in the glove compartment, but in the
end, I decided to simply lean against the car and wait. I kept the door open a
fraction in case of emergencies, but I was determined to be a badass.

I wondered what Alice was doing. A surprise, huh? It probably wasn't a dirty
surprise, since we already had underwear and I'm pretty sure they didn't sell
sex toys at the mall. What could it be? It was weird, but I realized we didn't
really know each other well enough for thoughtful surprises. She had no idea
the things I was into, the things I liked, the things I appreciated. I hardly
knew anything about her, either, aside from her sex habits. We really needed to
get to know each other a little.

I sighed and looked up at the sky. The clouds had cleared and I saw that it was
a full moon, or most of a moon. Beautiful moon, pale and radiant. Just like
Alice.

Alice, Alice, Alice.

I sighed again and when I looked toward the mall she was approaching me with a
smile and a bounce in her step. She had no shopping bag and she seemed to guess
my thoughts.

"It's in my pocket," she told me. "But you'll have to wait till we're at the
hotel."

The room Alice had booked was a suite, and I couldn't imagine how expensive it
was. Alice paid by credit card at the front desk and signed a couple forms. I
wondered if you had to be over eighteen to book a hotel room, but it didn't
seem like the most important thing in the world, so I didn't ask.

We rode the elevator up. When the doors slid shut we were standing somewhat
apart. When they opened again my loving girlfriend had me backed in a corner
while she practically ate my face. The ding of the doors startled her apart,
however, and she quickly grabbed up the shopping bags and led me out into the
corridor, me stunned and dazed, following at her heel like a puppy.

There were two double beds in the room with silk bedspreads and there was an
ornate fireplace with an oilpainting over the mantle. Alice dumped the shopping
bags on the floor and then she jumped backwards on the bed, bounced, rolled
onto a hip, and leveled at me a saucy smile.

"Guess what I wanna do right now?"

I didn't have to guess, and my pussy actually stirred with interest. My lips
were still tingling from her assault in the elevator, and all it took was one
look of her smoldering eyes and I was a goner. It was the first time we'd been
alone all day—truly alone—and I didn't even think about hesitating. I stepped
forward, removing my hoody, and—

My cell phone rang.

Mom.

"Oh shit," I muttered frantically, clawing at my pocket. "It's mom."

Alice smirked, laying there on her side in her baggy clothes. "So, what's the
matter?"

"I haven't told her I won't be home," I moaned fretfully. "I was gonna call her
after lunch or something, but—"

I hit the button and put the phone to my ear.

"Hi, mom," I said brightly, pretending everything was normal.

"Bella!" mom snapped. "Where are you, I've been calling you all day!"

"I know, I got the messages, but I was busy, and…"

"Do you have any idea how late it is? I've been worried sick!"

I nodded into the phone. "Yeah, I know…"

Alice was still laying on the bed. She heaved a sigh and gave my body a longing
look. I turned away slightly, blushing.

"Where are you?" mom demanded.

"Um, actually I'm at Alice's place," I said, thinking fast. "Actually, that's
what I wanted to talk to you about. Is it okay if I stay here tonight? You
know, like, sleep over?"

"Bella."

"Just for tonight," I added quickly. "Alice really wants me to stay over."

Alice nodded enthusiastically, grinning at me from the bed.

"It's a school night, Bella," mom said.

"Yeah, I know," I said, "but I can get a ride with Alice, so…"

I heard mom sigh in the phone and she went silent for a second. I was too
distracted by Alice to give much thought to what she must be thinking so I just
said: "Mom? Is that okay, mom?

Mom sighed again. "Well, I guess that's okay," she said reluctantly. "I just
wish you'd answer the phone when I call. Do you know how worried I've been?
Anything could've happened to you."

I snorted a chuckle. At least I know where I got my paranoia from.

"I'm fine, mom," I told her.

Alice, meanwhile, was examining her nails with a bored air, heaving pointed
sighs to get me to hurry. I felt her impatience.

"And Alice's parents are okay with this whole sleepover thing?"

"Yeah, they're cool."

"Alright. Have you eaten?"

"No, we're about to eat now."

"Okay, well, call me in the morning, alright? And call me when you get to
school, so I know you made it okay. And I want you straight home after school,
got that?"

Alice had gotten tired of waiting. She rose from the bed with elaborate
resignation and started toward the bathroom in a hip-rolling saunter.

"Yeah, mom. Thanks. I gotta—"

"And answer the phone if I call."

Just before she entered the bathroom she pulled off her hockey shirt and let it
fall to the carpet. She tossed a smirk over her bare shoulder, opened the door,
and disappeared inside.

I gulped. "Yeah," I blurted into the phone, not knowing what I was saying or
what I was replying to. "Um, I gotta go, mom. Alice is waiting."

I hit disconnect and practically ran into the bathroom.

Where we had sex in the shower under the warm warm water, our hands like soapy
tentacles, reaching, grabbing, squeezing, and the water cascading over our
heads and bodies, and all I could hear was water, and all I could taste was her
mouth, and my hands were stroking up and down the silky length of her slender
back, stroking her shoulders and her slim arms, my hands gliding like water
over the pale lake of her skin, wrapping around her tighter and tighter,
pulling her closer.

She pressed my back against the cold glass and I shivered, shivered from the
cold and the soft soapy warmth of her body as she stood on tiptoes and pressed
her breasts against mine and rubbed them against me. She captured my lips in a
kiss and captured my breasts in her hands and squeezed them and stroked them
and she was kissing my mouth so lovingly, so generously, and—

"Alice," I hissed, gasping for breath. "Alice."

She smiled her foxy smile, and she was so sexy, wet hair and wet face, dark
eyes and so sexy. She took my hand and put it between her legs and she put her
hand between mine. I was moaning already. Steam was swirling all around us and
the water was so warm and her skin so soft, so silky. We touched our foreheads
together and panted into each other's mouths, our lips less then an inch apart,
and we stroked at each other entrances, panting, gasping, water cascading all
around us in a sweet and steamy mist of lavender and soap, staring into each
other's eyes and panting as we gentled each other to a breathless climax.

It was the first time we'd truly been alone together, and it showed. No school,
no mall, no mom downstairs. In that tiny glass cubicle, naked and wet and
surrounded by steam, the entire world had bled away until it was just me and
her. I was bolder than I'd ever been, and Alice was Alice, and Alice was
perfect.

We washed and washed our hair and then we dried off with soft white towels
under the yellow globe in the bathroom ceiling. I had a slight headache from
the day's exertions and I would've been happy to tumble into bed beside Alice
and sleep for a year, but Alice had gone all giggly and she was already
dragging me back into the room to put on our dresses.

First, the underwear. Alice up-ended the bag on the bed and sorted mine from
hers, although they were exactly the same; black lace panties and black lace
strapless push-ups. It was grown-up's underwear and I felt the weirdest floaty
feeling as I put them on. It felt wrong somehow, like I wasn't ready, like I
shouldn't be doing this, and yet so exciting. When I had the panties on I
tilted my hips and looked down at myself. Even from that angle I looked pretty
sexy.

Alice, of course, was pure jungle cat. The black lace was stark against her
pale skin and it fit so snuggly against her contours, the waistband hooking
over her hips and falling in a V toward her pussy. My body was still throbbing
faintly from the shower-sex, but even so, I could feel myself wanting her
again.

In fact…

Alice was holding up her dress and admiring it with a bright smile, clad in
nothing but that gorgeous black underwear. I strolled over, an dreamy smile
floating over my lips, and placed a hand on her hip.

She turned and looked at the hand and then she smiled at me.

"What are you doing?"

I didn't know how to explain the inexplicable need I felt for her, for her
warmth and her body, so I just shrugged slightly. "Nothing," I whispered, and
then I kissed her lips softly, and kissed her cheek, and kissed down along her
neck. My hand caressed her hip suggestively and slid down to capture her
buttock under the rough lace of her panties. "You're so beautiful…"

Alice tilted back her head to allow my lips better access to her neck and she
made a little gasp of excitement. "Well, I guess—okay," she giggled. "But let's
not get too sweaty or we'll have to shower again, kay?"

And with that, she peeled out of her underwear, jumped back onto the bed, and
let her legs fall open. I smiled at the sudden exposure, and with my heart
racing and my stomach lurching, I crawled between her thighs, bent to her
pussy, and started eating her out. She came with a giggle and with her legs
wrapped around my head and then she flipped me over, pulled off my panties, and
licked me to a lovely climax.

Afterwards, we wet a corner of a towel and washed off in the bathroom and then
we re-donned our underwear and wriggled into our dresses. Then there was the
pampering.

She began by brushing my hair, slowly and luxuriously, prattling on about how
beautiful it was, hefting handfuls of my dark locks in her hands, smelling it,
letting it drop again and marveling at the natural bounce. I smiled and watched
her face in the mirror. I made responses whenever they were required, but
mostly I was just thinking about how much I loved her and how wonderful she
was.

She did my makeup, lecturing me on cosmetic technique like an apprentice
beautician, and I stood there like a doll in my dress with my dreamy smile,
pouting my lips for her to paint them with lipstick, closing my eyes for her to
brush the lids with shadow. She did her own makeup with me watching, watching
her lips as she pursed and glossed them, watching her flick her long lashes
with mascara to make them thick and feathery, batting her eyelids in the
mirror, smiling at me and making my heart clench from how gorgeous she was.

We were almost ready by now and the last thing we put on were our shoes. Alice
slipped hers on with the grace of a crane, standing on one foot then the other,
and then she sat me on the bed, crouched at my feet, and slipped my shoes on
herself as if they were glass slippers.

I took a few moment to get some practice at walking in my heels, holding my
hands out for balance, concentrating on each step. I looked like pirate with a
peg-leg walking the plank. Alice grabbed up her discarded jeans and fished
something out of the pocket of it.

"Here, this is the surprise I got you," she was saying. I stopped trying to
walk and turned to her. She approached with something in her hand, a thin strip
of black material, like a bracelet.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

She spread it on her palm. It was one of those leather chokers you see girl
goth's wearing in TV shows, and I actually lit up slightly. I'd always thought
they were cool, but I'd never been emo or rebellious enough to wear one. Alice
smiled at my reaction.

"It's a collar," she said. "It's a little ostentatious, but it'll hide the bite
marks."

I smiled. "It's beautiful."

"Yes," she said. "But there's also a symbolism."

I frowned confusedly. "Symbolism?"

Alice nodded excitedly. "Of course," she grinned. She took the choker in her
hands and started putting it around my neck. I lifted my hair to help her.
"Collars are worn by pets to designate ownership," she explained. "So by buying
you this collar and putting it around your neck…" She clasped the choker shut
around my throat. "…I'm asserting myself as your mistress."

She dropped her hands and smiled. "Only symbolically, of course, but still."
She gave a coy shrug. "I thought it would be cute."

I let my hair fall and touched the choker with my fingertips. The word mistress
had made my heart race, and a sudden excitement washed over me. I swallowed,
smirked, and said: "Maybe it's not as symbolic as you think."

She cocked her head. "What do you mean?"

She was standing there in her shimmering black satin cocktail dress, her sexy
black pumps, her breasts swelling from the neckline of the dress. She was so
gorgeous it was making me dizzy. I swallowed again and I leaned slightly to her
face as if to kiss her. My voice came out hoarse with desire. "I mean…" I
whispered. "…do you have any idea how fucking hot you are?"

I felt her breath on my lips as she went to kiss me, but it was too much. She
was too much, too pretty, too perfect, and suddenly I realized that I couldn't
continue to live a single second longer without burying my face between her
legs.

I dropped to my knees, almost twisting my ankle in my heels, and hiked up the
black satin of her dress frantically. The hunger in the pit of my stomach was
so intense it was scary, and it only seemed to get worse as I pulled back her
panties. Her bald pussy seemed to beg me with its visible softness, and without
hesitating, I crammed my tongue inside her as far as it would go.

"Bella," she hissed. "Bella…"

So warm, so tight. She was taller in her heels and she shifted her hips so I
could get a better angle and soon she had her legs cocked until she was
basically squatting into my face, both hands clenched in my hair, holding me
against her as she rubbed herself against my mouth and tongue. She came quickly
and I could've kept licking her forever, but she stumbled back, groggy and
grinning, and then she knelt in front of me on the carpet and eased me onto my
back gently. My pussy was aching, and she wasted no time. I opened my legs for
her, and she flipped back the skirt of my dress, peeled aside my panties, and
made me squirm and whimper as she ate me out on the floor.

Mistress, indeed.

—

It was nine o'clock by the time we made our appearance in the hotel dinning
room and I was dead on my feet, physically and emotionally exhausted. I felt
like a hooker after a hard day's work, and honestly? I was looking forward to
the overtime.

But first, dinner. A waiter lead us through the dinning room and almost every
head we passed turn to look. I had a feeling they were mostly looking at Alice.
She looked outright incredible in her black satin cocktail dress, and all in
all, she was probably more fascinating then the girl beside her who was
concentrating on walking properly in her heels. Alice looked like a stunning
beauty; I looked like a teenage girl in mommy's heels.

I was holding Alice's arm—mostly for balance—but in these high-class
surroundings the physical contact seemed to be no big deal, even natural. High-
society women were big on physical contact, you see it in movies all the time.
Women in expensive dresses are always touching hands and kissing each other on
their cheeks. Me and Alice probably looked like sisters or something,
especially since our outfits were somewhat coordinated, both in black, both
darkhaired. Alice would've been the cool and confident big sister and I
would've been the shy and slightly incestuous little sister who followed her
around wherever she went in single-minded idolatry of her perfection. A sad
allegory, but accurate.

There was a low din of dinner conversation and I could hear the strings of a
violin as we wove among the tables. The waiter went to pull out a chair for me,
but Alice shooed him away and did it herself, a quaint gesture that made me
proud to wear a collar. She sat down opposite, and I stared at her openly,
still thunderstruck at her gorgeousness. Her face glowed softly in the yellow
light of the chandeliers overhead and the spaghetti straps of her dress only
made her shoulders seem even more bare. The waiter was asking if we were ready
to order and Alice turned to me with a smile.

"Want me to order for you?"

I nodded, relieved. I didn't have to look at a menu to know that whatever I'd
pick would be pure guesswork. Fine-dining was a mystery to me; I'd never eaten
anything more complicated than a satay pizza.

Alice ordered me something complicated involving salmon, and I felt an inner
flush at how she remembered that I don't like meat. Either that or her choice
of salmon was total fluke. I'd prefer to believe the best of her, however.

"And that's it," she said to waiter after she'd order me a drink. "Nothing for
me, I'll just have water."

The waiter scribbled it down on a pad of tickets and went away. I turned to
Alice with a little frown.

"You're not eating?" I asked.

She smiled and shook her head. "No," she said. "Why pretend at this point? You
and I both know there's only one thing I want."

She said it in a sultry tone and I smiled in response.

"Me?" I whispered.

She leaned on her elbows, bunching her breasts between her arms, and stared at
me boldly. "You."

I flickered my gaze away from her hot eyes and back again. "Soon?"

"Soon," she whispered, and then she reached across the table and caressed my
hand.

I looked down at her hand covering mine and swallowed. Tingles were racing up
my arm and I could feel my appetite fading as a different kind of hunger flared
in my stomach. I smiled and looked away.

"Now I'm kind of not hungry either," I said.

Alice giggled and withdrew her hand. "You should eat," she said. "You'll need
your strength. This night, thy soul may be required of thee."

I had no idea what she meant, but I smiled. It seemed like a quote of some kind
so I asked: "What's that from?"

But she just giggled and waved her hand. "The bible," she said. "Forget it, it
doesn't mean anything. I just thought it was cool."

The food arrived shortly after. Alice watched me eat idly and I ate mostly in
silence. She'd been chatting all day about every little thing that came into
her head, but now, at this point, there was simply nothing left to say. Soon,
very soon, she was going to take me upstairs, fuck me, bite me, and drink my
blood. Casual conversation might've felt a little forced.

Instead she waited, watching the fork rise and fall, watching me chew. The
scrutiny made me a little self-conscious, but only a little. There was a
timelessness to her eyes that made self-consciousness seem silly. There was no
judgment in those beautiful honey-colored orbs, no impatience, no frustration,
nothing but pure waiting, pure wanting. Pure unconditional desire. My stomach
was churning with nervousness, but I ate it all, and then she ordered me
dessert and watched me eat that, too. I was just as eager for tonight as she
was, but I didn't object. It was becoming obvious that she had certain
expectations of me, and I wanted to be special for her. To be perfect.

Eventually we went back upstairs. Alice told me to go ahead and take off my
shoes, so I did. She ordered a bottle of champagne from room service, and when
it arrived she poured two glasses, and said:

"Have you ever had alcohol before?"

I shook my head. "No."

She smiled, offering a glass. I took it, our fingers brushing.

"Don't worry," she said, "it's only so I can make a toast. We're not going to
get drunk."

"A toast?"

"Yes," she said. She stepped closer to me, so close we were almost touching.
She brushed hair away from my face and looked directly into my eyes. "This may
seem impossibly melodramatic," she whispered, "but the toast is for you. I love
you, Bella. You are the sweetest, loveliest, most perfect girl I've ever met.
Our time together has been brief, but I know it in the bottom of my heart. I
love you."

I blinked. Two tears dropped onto my cheeks. I was taken completely by surprise
and I almost fell over from the sudden rush of love that sledgehammered into my
chest. Her voice was utterly sincere and utterly without device, and I wanted
to say something back, to tell her the same thing, that I loved her, that I
always have, always will, but when my mouth opened all that came out was her
name:

"Alice…"

She smiled and clinked her glass to mine. She sipped, but I didn't move. I
couldn't. I was seized in a sudden delirium of fretfulness, as if there was
something I was forgetting, something I was supposed to say or do, something
important that—

"Sip," Alice said gently. "It's not a real toast unless you sip."

I swallowed and sipped. It was bitter and the bubbles were worse than soda.
Some of the distaste must've showed on my face because Alice giggled.

"It's an acquired taste," she said. "But honestly? I'm not thirsty either."

She took the flute out of my hand, still full, and set them both on the
sideboard. She then turned down the lights until the room was cloaked in a
sultry gloom.

I stood there at the foot of the bed, watching her. She came over to me in that
black satin dress, smiling, and wrapped her arms around my neck. She looked
into my face for a moment and then she kissed me, a long, loving kiss, before
pulling back and taking a deep breath.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yes," I whispered.

It happened like a dream. She unzipped my dress and let it pool at my feet. She
unfastened my bra at the front and smiled at how my breasts bounced free. She
pulled down my panties and placed a kiss against my tummy. The only thing she
left on me was the collar.

Then it was her undressing. She pulled off her dress like a t-shirt and let it
fall. She unlatched her bra and dropped it and she slid off her panties and
kicked them aside.

She took my hand and we stepped from our fallen clothes toward the bed. She
turned back the covers for me to slip underneath. She followed me into the bed
and we lay against each other, warm, soft, naked, and she gazed into my eyes
and brushed hair from my brow and just as my heart felt like it was going burst
out of my chest she leaned and covered my lips with her own.

It was a long, slow, luxurious kiss. I felt the soft press of her breasts
against my chest and I wrapped my arms around her naked back. My eyes were
closed and I could feel myself surrendering to her, utterly and completely.
There wasn't a single sensation in all my being that wasn't caused by her, by
the warmth of her body or the touch of her hands or the kiss of her lips, and
the surrender felt so sweet, so right, so perfect.

Our hands were all over each other, but slowly, exploring. My hands covered
every inch of her smooth back and I touched her waist and her hips and I
caressed her ass with both hands and squeezed. She rubbed into me in response,
pressing her chest into mine, and the kiss was broken for just a second as a
low growl escaped her. I gasped in response.

"Alice," I panted. "Alice."

It was only two words, but it sounded like begging. She covered my mouth with
hers and rubbed into me again, harder this time, and I moaned and wrapped a leg
around her. Instantly her hand gripped my thigh, squeezing down on it, and then
she rolled over and pulled me on top of her.

I was straddling her leg and I could feel the warmth of her thigh between my
own. I grinded down on it with my hips gently, once, twice, three times.

"Alice," I hissed. "Alice."

She pulled my face into a kiss and stroked my hair back so it wouldn't dangle
in her face and then she wrapped her arms around me and one of her legs and
rolled me onto my back.

I moaned and surrendered all over again. My mind was blank and it felt like I
was in another dimension where all was dark and without definition. I couldn't
tell where she began and I ended, all I could do was moan in her arms as she
kissed me and touched me and rubbed her body against mine. She felt like a
fantasy in the bed with me, something hot and soft and impossibly lovely,
something silky in the darkness that purrs and curls itself against you.

"Alice," I whimpered. "Alice."

"Shh, shh, shh," she whispered in my ear. "Let me love you."

Then her lips were over mine and she was kissing me again. I gasped and opened
my mouth, allowing her free access. There were no bones in my body and I seemed
to liquefy under her hands as she steadily stroked my body into oblivion. Her
hands found my breasts and she squeezed them as she grinded against my thigh.
Then she wrapped me against her and rolled me on top of her.

The covers were crumpled at the end of the bed and I could feel the air on my
back and her hands on my back. We tumbled, one ankle trapped in a tourniquet of
bedsheet, gasping, my willowy arms clutching at her as if I was drowning. Her
mouth smothered mine and I was on my back again. She brushed my hair with her
hand and broke the kiss.

"Bella," she whispered.

I was trembling and sweaty. I could feel her weight up against my side and it
was a struggle to open my eyes. She was stroking my face and I swallowed
heavily. "What?"

"Nothing," she smiled. "I just wanted to look at you. Are you ready?"

I nodded feverishly. "Yes."

"Yes," she echoed softly. She cupped my face and caressed me gently, watching
my expression. I turned my face into her hand slightly and the ball of her
thumb brushed my lips. "Do you know what you'd like?"

"Anything," I replied without thinking. "Anything…"

"Anything, hm?" She leaned and placed a kiss on my brow. "Do you remember when
I was talking about trib?"

I swallowed again, still gasping. "Yes…"

"Well, how would you like that?" she whispered. She was placing kisses all over
my face, whispering between them. "Hm? Would you like it if I rubbed myself
against you down there? I think it sounds nice, what do you think?"

"Yes," I whimpered. "Anything…"

"Mmm," she moaned, kissing at my neck. "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Touch me."

I open my eyes. My hands were perched at her waist as if I didn't know what to
do with them. Alice smiled and took one of them and guided it between her legs.
"Touch me," she repeated.

"Okay," I breathed, and I started touching her, exploring her silky contours.

"Mmm, I love it when you touch me there. May I touch you?"

"Yes…"

Her own hand moved along my body until it was between my legs. She caressed the
inside of my thigh and then her fingers slid up against my slick entrance. She
was watching my face, watching me hiss my breath, watching me quiver as her
fingers probed into my core. I forced my eyes open to look at her. I pushed my
fingers into her silky pussy and she moaned at me with lidded cat-eyes. We
squirmed our hips against each other's fingers and I clenched on her and she
clenched on me and we stared into each other's flushed faces until…

Her lips descended on mine and I was surrendering again. All the breath was
snatched out of me and I hardly noticed the removal of her fingers. She was
moving and suddenly I couldn't reach her anymore. She was kneeling between my
legs and pushing open my thighs.

"Alice…" I whispered.

My wrists were laying either side of my head and I felt utterly exposed and
utterly unconcerned. Alice smiled and entwined our legs into a scissors
position and then she started rubbing.

My pussy was in an agony of anticipation and the slow smother of her silky
netherlips against mine was maddening. I tossed my head against the bedsheet,
my hair tangled and wet. She started slowly, so slowly, and slowly I was losing
my mind. My breath came in little moaning gasps and excitement was building in
my core like a bomb.

"Alice," I panted. My chest was heaving and it was like the word jumped out of
me without my permission. The climax was coming and I gasped: "Alice, Alice,
Alice—"

Then she stopped. She backed off her hips slightly and gave a shaky giggle.

"Not yet," she whispered. "We have to come together. It's important."

The stab of disappointment I felt was cold and sharp enough to cut through the
haze. It had been so perfect and she stopped. "Why?" I gasped.

She smiled and started fondling her own pussy, bringing herself closer while I
waited. "It's symbolic," she said. "One soul, one climax. We have to become
one." She giggled at my flushed face, and added: "Sorry."

Suddenly I felt selfish for focusing solely on myself and I quickly said: "It's
okay. I can wait."

"Thank you," she said, toying with her clit with a playful smile, watching me
watch. "It's silly, but it's important to me."

"It's okay," I said, panting. "I understand."

I didn't, really, but dimly I understood that it was only polite to come at the
same time as your partner, or even after. Not before. Ladies first, as they
say, and Alice is certainly more of a lady than me.

"Okay," she said, aligning our clits and beginning to rub. Warmth immediately
started spreading through me. She smiled and pushed harder. "I think I'm
ready," she said. "Watch my face, okay? Try to time it. Let me know if it's too
soon."

"I'll try," I said, already feeling the orgasm creeping into my core.

She kept rubbing, speeding up.

"Yes," she hissed. "This is it. I'm gonna go faster, okay?"

"Okay."

She did. Not just faster, but harder. Her hips literally ground into me,
pushing me into the mattress, and I moaned as her clit grated against mine,
over and over, groaning and gasping as she ground me into ecstasy under the
rock hard impress of her pubic bone.

"Quick, my hand," she gasped. "Hold my hand."

I grabbed her hand. She giggled at the touch, a high wild giggle full of joy,
and laced our fingers. She hadn't lost the rhythm of her hips and she was
panting through a sunny smile, gazing down at me as if my pleasure were itself
a pleasure for her.

"Yes," she breathed. "Oh yes, it's coming. Are you coming, Bella?"

I nodded, not capable of speech.

"Yes," she moaned. "Just let it come, baby. Let it come. Yes. Yes."

She ground harder and groaned loudly. My breath hitched as the first wave of
orgasm began to roll over me and my body buckled with the will required to hold
it back. I was staring up at her with my pussy on the verge of exploding and
she was so beautiful, so beautiful it crumbled at my restraint until I
whimpered and clenched down on nothing, forcing the climax back, desperate to
wait for her. I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut and block out the glorious
vision of body, but I was mesmerized, held helpless by how she was poised over
my pussy and rubbing so expertly, with no concentration, no effort. She had her
face tilted to the ceiling, clutching my hand, and she was smiling with her
eyes closed, a smile all pure and burdenless like a child, her mouth open with
ecstasy and her breath blasting in happy gasps.

"Yes!" she cried. "Yes, yes! Oh Bella! Come with me. Come with me now,
please—ohhh!"

The first bolts of climax struck her silent in a breathless scream, and she
kept grinding, quicker and quicker, bouncing her clit off mine, seized in
beautiful abandon. Her hand gripped mine painfully and suddenly I couldn't hold
it any more. It was too much, everything too much. The orgasm was building
inside me like something terrible and I had to let it go, let it go before it
consumed me. I surrendered one last time, surrendered to Alice and Alice's
touch, Alice's hand gripping mine, and I let it go. The orgasm tore through my
restraint, and—

I squeaked.

The orgasm was weak—mercifully weak—but so sharp it seemed to stab through my
head. My body spasmed as the climax wracked me into a feverish heap of
helplessness and the squeak trailed off into a moan that sounded disturbingly
like the bawl of a cow and then I was limp and gasping.

I felt dead. Literally.

I opened my eyes and Alice also seemed satisfied. She was still between my
legs, rubbing her silkiness against mine, but slower now, softer. I looked up
at her, laying there naked with my bare chest heaving, and she moaned
pleasurably with her eyes closed, grinding her hips in sensual rhythm.

"That was amazing," she breathed, still rubbing. "I loved that so much. Did you
like it, baby?"

I nodded eagerly. Fuck yes, I liked it. I felt satisfied in a way that I
couldn't even explain. Complete. Whole. I was vaguely aware that it was one of
the most ridiculous clichés in the annals of romance for a girl to feel
"completed" after sex, but I couldn't help it. I mean, let's face it. When you
find yourself laying under your lover, hot, feverish, breathless, and half-dead
from sexual fulfillment, what the fuck else would you call it?

And god it felt so good. She was still rubbing her pussy against mine, slowly
and luxuriously, and it was almost making me horny again. But only almost. If
my sex-drive hadn't been permanently killed tonight, it was probably going to
take a while to recover. A long while.

She smiled down at me. "Wanna do it again?"

My heart stopped.

Maybe I misunderstood. Please god I hope I misunderstood.

"I'll just keep rubbing, okay?" she said excitably, evidently interpreting my
shocked disbelief as breathless agreement. "Come whenever you want this time,
it doesn't matter."

"Alice," I said in a panic. "Alice, I don't think…"

"Don't think what?"

I lay there in shock, blinking up at her. She continued moving her hips against
me impassively, smiling.

Um, what was I going to say? I wasn't sure suddenly. Alice was smiling at me
and her pussy felt so nice against mine, like a silky caress. My clit was
swollen and inflamed, and there was a general stinging sensation in all my
lower areas, but the rubbing was so soft, so gentle, so…

Oh, come on, she can't be serious! Is she serious?

She was watching me with a smile, and yep: she seemed pretty serious.

"Just relax, okay?" she whispered. "We've got all night…"

She took my hand and laced our fingers. She bought the hand to her mouth and
kissed it softly. Then she giggled and kept rubbing, rubbing, rubbing.

It took almost an hour, but Alice kept at it, and at it, and finally it did the
trick. I screamed when I came, but I didn't quite die.

I wasn't sure if Alice came, but she didn't mention it, and I didn't have any
breath to ask. I was laying on my side, quietly regaining strength, when I felt
the mattress tilt. She'd gotten off the bed, and she crossed the room—naked, I
couldn't help noticing—and fetched the two champagne glasses she'd poured
earlier. She handed me one, my hand so clumsy I almost dropped it, and then she
crawled into the bed and pulled the covers over our bodies.

"Another toast," she smiled. "To my darling Bella; the most resilient young
woman I've had the pleasure of."

I chuckled and sipped. It was flat, but that only made it easier to drink. As
soon as the liquid touched my parched mouth, I realized how thirsty I was, and
drank some more. The alcohol went straight to my head and made me dizzy, but I
dizzy already.

Alice only took a tiny sip, and I could tell she didn't really want to. It
reminded me of tonight's true purpose. I'd forgotten for a few minutes back
there, but it was coming back to me now.

I cleared my throat. "Alice?"

"Mm?"

"When did you want to…you know?"

Alice smiled. She touched the leather collar that was still around my neck. It
was the only thing I was wearing and it seemed to mesmerize her for a second.

"Soon," she whispered.

I was disappointed, and I didn't really hide it. "Why not now?" I asked,
feeling my heart flitter. To be honest, the anticipation was killing me. "I
mean, seriously, why does it have to be such a big deal? I know you want it to
be special or whatever, but it's just blood."

She cocked her head. "Just blood?"

"Well, yeah," I said. "Isn't it?"

She chuckled. "No," she said. "Not just blood."

I shook my head helplessly. "I don't get it."

She didn't answer. She took the champagne flute out of my hand and placed them
both on the sidetable beside the bed. Then she took my face in her hands and
kissed me.

Well. Talk about a subject change.

But I guess I couldn't complain. I once wished I could kiss Alice forever, and
I was never one to be careful what she wishes for, no, no, not me.

She eased me onto my back and straddled my hips. She pinned my wrists either
side of my head and proceeded to kiss the rational thought out of my head. By
this point it was probably fair to conclude that I'm the passive one in the
relationship. The role suited me quite well, because I couldn't think of a
single thing I'd rather do than lay here under her kiss. Although, in all
fairness, the kiss did make it hard to think.

Either way, I was in falling love—literally. I was in love with her before, but
now I could actually feel it, they way they explain it science textbooks. My
hypothalamus was swimming in a soup of assorted hormones, and I could actually
feel the chemical reaction called love gurgling in my brain like a percolator,
soaking slowly through my intelligence, my knowledge, my memories, all it
slowly smothered and swallowed up in a rise tide of serotonin until my whole
brain was a pink and mushy mess of nothing but Alice, Alice, Alice.

Back when I was a kid I'd once asked mom what it felt like to be in love. I
don't remember exactly how she explained it, but I'm pretty sure she never
described mind-numbing marathon sex with a self-proclaimed Whore of Darkness in
a five-star hotel suite.

"Alice," I whispered, but she covered my lips before I could say anything else.

That's alright. She'd unpinned my wrists and I was able to wrap my arms around
her, which was nice. I wasn't sure if I wanted to say anything else, anyway.
Just her name. I loved her name, and I loved the way she was kissing me. The
tips of her breasts were touching mine and, unbelievably, I was beginning to
feel a stirring of interest from between my legs. Well, well. Today's date had
been a revelation concerning my girlfriend's sex habits—Alice unleashed—but
perhaps I was learning a thing or two about myself as well. It's probably say
to say I was never cut out to be a nun, for instance.

Alice continued kissing me and once again it occurred to me that she was really
good at it. I mean, amazing. My jaw was sore from all the tongue-love she'd
lavished on my already, and yet I didn't want her to stop. I wanted her to kiss
me forever and ever, from now to infinity, without letting me ever breathe my
own breath again.

And, naturally, that's when she stopped.

She raised up like a cobra, straddling my hips, and then she took a deep breath
and giggled. "Okay," she said excitably. "This one's all about you, so just
relax. It's another symbolism thing. This is me showing you how much I love
you, okay? Just you. No me."

She seemed a little fixated on this subtext stuff, but I nodded. "Okay."

"Good," she whispered, happy with my simple acceptance. She cupped my breasts
and began caressing them. "Just relax," she whispered. "You'll like it, I
promise."

I had a feeling I was going to like it, too. I was liking it already. Her hands
were stroking my breasts as if they were personal pets of hers, just gently
stoking them, straddling my hips and smiling down at me. She seemed to be in no
particular hurry and I had to admit; it was nice, her hands on my breasts like
that. If this was her showing me how much she loved me, she was doing a good
job. A warm glow was spreading through my body and if I was capable of purring,
I'm sure I would've.

Her own breasts were right there on her chest and I watched them languidly as
she fondled my own. Hers were way more beautiful than mine. Mine were slightly
bigger, but hers had perfect shape; plump and perky with succulent pink
nipples. They were really very beautiful. The kinds of breasts you see in
museums on sculptures of goddesses.

I flickered my eyes up to her face. She was smiling and kneading my breasts
against my chest like soft mounds of dough, squeezing them, applying a little
pressure.

"Do you like this?" she asked softly.

I nodded. "Yes," I whispered. "It's nice."

She smiled, and then she lowered her chest over mine and rubbed our breasts
together. Which likewise felt nice. Her lips were less than an inch away from
mine and I could feel her breath getting closer and closer until her lips
covered mine.

Yes, very nice. Alice was nice, all of her, so absolutely nice. She kissed me
with her tongue while the warm weight of her chest pressed against mine, and
she kissed my chin and cheek, and she trailed kisses across my throat and onto
my collarbone, and slowly her lips descended onto my chest where they proceeded
to make a meal out of my breasts.

At first the kisses were soft and delicate, feathery touches of her tongue
tracing the circumference of my areolas, a light lick, a quick kiss. But then
she got hungrier. Her lips closed over one of my nipples and sucked on it. Then
she sucked on the other one. Her hands were stroking my sides and she was doing
it all with her mouth. She licked across my breast, across the whole mound, a
long lick like a dog. I felt my breast slide under her tongue and wobble back
into place. Then she licked again.

She kept licking until my whole chest was wet with saliva. I was still
relatively unaroused—physically, at least—but my heart was beating wildly and
soon every lick was making me quiver. I was holding her head loosely and laying
back with my eyes closed, relaxing as she told me to. It should've felt
obscene, or even dirty, but it didn't. She'd said she was showing me how much
she loved me; and that's exactly what it felt like.

And after a while her love directed her lips lower across my body. She placed
kisses on my tummy, my womb. She tongued my belly-button briefly, making me
giggle. She shuffled further down until she was between my legs and then she
settled between them and started stroking the inside of my thighs.

"Are you excited yet?" she asked.

I wasn't exactly wet, but yes; I was excited. Now that she was there, between
my legs, I couldn't wait to get some appendage of hers inside me, finger or
tongue, I really didn't care. "Yes," I told her. "Keep going."

She giggled. "I will," she said. "But let me tease you a little first. It's
more fun that way."

I almost pouted. What a bitch.

But in the end I suppose I didn't mind. I lay back with a forearm over my eyes,
relaxing, and already I could feel her fingertips tracing circles around my
entrance. It didn't really light any fires in me, but it was nice, nice like
everything else. One of her fingers poked into my folds and inserted itself
inside me and this was nice, too. The finger came out, and went back in, and
out again. Then I felt her lips.

She started very slowly, placing soft kisses all over my swollen womanhood.
Slowly I was beginning to kindle. She'd shuffled down further and she was
laying face-first into my pussy, her hands stroking my thighs. She kissed at me
for a little bit and then she started licking, little licks like a cat,
licking, licking. Her tongue entered me and came out again. She kept licking.

I was breathing slowly and deeply. My arms lay splayed at my sides and
something was starting to build between my legs. I kept my eyes closed and let
it.

I'm not sure how long she kept licking at me, but finally it happened. My eyes
were squeezed shut and I was thinking of Alice. I wouldn't have came otherwise.
By now I was sweaty and heaving and I had two handfuls of bedsheet clenched in
my fists. Alice's tongue was wonderful, but it was the Alice in my head that
pushed me over the edge, visions of her unearthly perfection dancing behind my
eyelids.

I saw her as I'd seen her that day. I saw her with her black satin dress hiked
up around her hips to expose her lacy black panties. I saw her wet and naked in
the hotel room shower. I saw her in the pale light of the movie theater with
the weight of her plump breast in my hand under her baggy hockey shirt. I saw
her in the mirror of the change room wearing nothing but a miniskirt, bent over
a chair as I rubbed my pussy against her ass, smiling at me in the mirror with
her breasts swaying.

And I saw her at school. I saw her in the library with a sneaker propped on the
bottom shelf and her jeans open to reveal skyblue panties. I saw her in the
showers among other girls like a goddess among mortals. I saw her in biology,
shuffling her stool closer to mine until our shoulders touched, smiling,
smelling so beautiful.

I saw her in the backseat of my mom's car after our first date, legs in the air
and panties around her knees. I saw her the first time she came to me, crawling
through my window like a shadow girl, naked under her coat and ready to claim
me, take me, make me hers. I saw her fuck me senseless with her fingers and her
lips and I saw her gather me into her arms all limp and helpless and I saw
myself tilting back my head to offer my throat and—

I came.

I gasped and flopped back. My body was shaking violently and it felt like
something had snapped inside me; spirit or soul, something that left me broken
and sweaty and whimpering weakly.

Alice was still licking at me, but I'd had enough. I closed my legs and rolled
aside. She kissed my hip and rubbed her cheek against it tenderly, making me
giggle deliriously.

"Alice," I said. Just Alice.

She moaned softly, stroking my leg idly. Slowly my tremors ease, but I still
felt broken. Utterly broken.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," I gasped. "Just tired."

She snuggled up beside me and wrapped an arm around me. She kissed my hair and
then she stroked it away from my neck. There was something deliberate to the
action that made me stop panting. I rolled to face her. She looked at me and
smiled.

"Are you ready?"

I swallowed. "You mean…?"

She nodded and fingered the collar around my neck. "Unless you're too tired."

I shook my head. "No, I'm good."

She smiled. Then she looked away. "Before we begin I should give you one last
chance to back out," she said, glancing at my shoulder, stroking it gently. She
was avoiding my eyes. "You don't have to do this is you don't want to…"

I snorted. "Why wouldn't I want to? It's just a bite."

She chuckled once. "I'm afraid it's a little more than just a bite. To be
honest, I was only half joking when I said I was joking about that addiction
stuff. Feeding from you tonight could have disastrous consequences for both of
us, up to and including death. I promised I'd never hurt you, but a promise is
only as strong as the person who made it, and I should warn you that I'm very
weak. Very weak, and very hungry…"

She spoke softly, almost melodramatically, but I wasn't particularly moved. I
rolled my eyes, and maybe I should've taken her more seriously, but I was
beyond caring at this point. I mean, seriously. Death? Pfft. What am I clinging
to, anyway?

Besides, the thought of me dying seemed just flat-out unrealistic. My life had
never been particularly charmed, but it hadn't been stark enough to convince me
of my own mortality, not at sixteen years old. I'd never had a dead pet or a
dead family member. I'd never even been to a funeral. Maybe it was just
lingering child-hood denial, but deep in my heart I didn't believe I'd ever
die. I knew it was a mathematic certainty—and, according to Alice, a growing
probability—but my mind just didn't believe it.

"Alice, I don't care, alright?" I told her. "I know you'd never hurt me."

She smiled and flickered her eyes over my face. "This is your last chance," she
whispered. "If you reject me now, it's possible I may be able to let you go.
But if we continue…If your blood touches my lips tonight…It'll be too late.
From that moment on the only destinies available to you will be death…or
eternity at my side."

Again, I wasn't really convinced. It all seemed a little theatrical to me, and
I didn't really want to think about it. Who cares about the future? She talks
about destiny and stuff, but nothing's set in stone. Maybe there won't be any
consequences to our relationship at all and we'll live happily ever after like
a fairytale. Or maybe she'd dump me in a week and get a better girlfriend.
Either way, I still wasn't seeing the big deal, so maybe I answered her a
little more flippantly than I should have.

"Okay," I said.

She gave me a weird look, amusement and disbelief. Then she smiled, shook her
head, and sat up, dusting her hands as if preparing for work. "There's one more
thing you should be aware of."

I sat up to meet her, my heart beginning to thump. "What do you mean?"

She cupped my cheek. "You're going to faint from the blood loss," she told me
softly. "So you're going to have to trust me to take care of you. Can you do
that?"

I felt a flash of hesitation. Death didn't bother me, but naked and passed out?
I could probably trust her not to shave my eyebrows and draw stuff on my face
with a ballpoint, but it still didn't seem ideal to me.

She let her hand fall from my cheek. "Last chance to back out," she added, but
there was something teasing in her voice that made it clear she knew I
wouldn't. "If you don't trust me…"

"I trust you," I said firmly.

She smiled and looked me over. "Do you truly?" she asked. "Do you trust me with
your life, your dignity, your very soul? Do you trust me with all your heart?"

And yeah, I did. My heart had started glowing with a strange intensity as she
spoke, and yeah. I trusted her with everything.

"Alice," I said, looking into her face earnestly. "Even if this is all just a
dream, you're still the best thing that's ever happened to me. So just do it,
okay? Just—"

Her lips flew onto mine and she kissed me with a deep moaning sound. And what
else could I do but let my eyes fall shut and kiss her back.

She moaned again and I could feel her fingers at the clasp of the choker. She
unlatched it and I felt it drag away from my neck.

Her lips descended onto my throat and I felt a quick spike of excitement. A
smile flashed over my face and very clearly in my head I heard my inner voice
say:

Ooh, bite me, baby.

Outwardly, however, I remained more composed. I wrapped my arms around her and
one word came out in a breathy whisper:

"Alice."

I expected her to bite me right then, but she didn't. She licked my pulse
point, and then she pulled away, breathed deeply, and took my hand. She smiled
and started tugging me off the bed. "Then come," she said with a playful
extravagance. "We must prepare."

—

The first thing I did was drink two cupfuls of water—I was so fucking
thirsty—and then I used the bathroom. I didn't know if it was another of her
symbolism things, but she stayed in the room while I did it. Not watching, of
course—that would be so creepy—but she was there turning on the shower, like a
wife or a life-partner or some other person you'd feel comfortable peeing in
front of. The intimacy level of our relationship had taken a quantum leap in
recent hours, and I didn't even feel that self-conscious. But maybe that was
because the noise of the shower masked any splashing sounds.

She'd fetched our dresses from the other room, and our underwear, and I was
curious about what these preparations involved, but I didn't ask. I was sleepy
and exhausted, and I just wanted to make her happy. That was the one thing I
was truly aware of; that I wanted to be perfect for her.

So I just let myself be directed however she wanted. Compared to when we got
ready for dinner, she was efficient and business-like. She hustled me into the
shower and scrubbed me down and wash my hair. I was so tired I almost fell
asleep under the warm water. She washed herself briefly and then she ordered me
out again and toweled me off.

We put on our dresses and she insisted on zipping me up. It was probably
another piece of symbolism that I was too sleepy to comprehend, but I thought
it was something to do with possessiveness. She also put my collar back on, so
yeah; possessiveness.

She did her own makeup first and I was stunned at how quickly she did it. She
wielded the implements with the dexterity of a professional knife-fighter,
decisive flicks of mascara with no hesitation and no flinching of the eyelids,
quick slashes of lipstick across her lips, applied perfectly with no smudge. It
was brilliant, and I felt my respect for her increase.

Then it was my turn. She took her time with me, and as much as I hate this kind
of stuff—or as much as I thought I hated this kind of stuff—I found myself
relaxing and enjoying it. Nevertheless, it was a long process and I decided to
say something. Alice's face was bright and full of excitement, and I wanted to
hear her voice.

"Alice?"

"Mm?" she said, concentrating on the makeup.

"Why are we getting dressed?" I asked. "I thought it was going to be like last
time?"

She smiled. "Last time was an act of passion. Special in it's own way, but not
like tonight. Tonight will be passionate as well, of course, but also
deliberate, consensual, premeditated. Tonight will include an added element of
decisiveness that the last time lacked. Tonight will be a ceremony."

"Ceremony?"

"Mmhm."

"You mean like magic?"

"No," she whispered, and I realized she was blushing under her makeup. "More
like a wedding."

She said it with a soft excitement, and I found myself blushing as well. "What
do you mean?"

"Ah, Bella," she whispered. "Don't you understand, even now? You're not simply
a meal to me. You're my soulmate and tonight's event will demonstrate that."

"How?"

She smiled at me and paused with the eyeliner. Then she resumed. "In any
ceremony," she said, "there are certain forms to be observed. The bride wears
white. Witnesses are gathered. Vows are spoken. These forms, when grouped,
combine to express the resolve of the participants by forcing their feelings
into a crucible greater themselves, a crucible they believe to be ordained by
god, in fact. Through the sanctity of marriage they seek to endow their
feelings with a significance they may or may not have earned, but vows that are
made can be broken again, and ultimately there is only one crucible that can
possibly contain true love, and that is the crucible of destiny."

She spoke in a soft whisper, without thinking or concentrating. Like reciting
lines in a play. She put away the eyeliner and started with the shadow.

"Destiny, then," she said. "Destiny is, in essence, the ceremony in which all
other ceremonies are contained, so while our little tryst may go unwitnessed
and unsanctioned by any apparent deity, it is also true that destiny provides
us with another sort of authority, complete with it's own forms and vows. The
overture includes a trip to the mall. It features the seduction of a young
lesbian. The night's events will only appear odd or irrelevant to those who
question the authority of destiny's design. For now it is enough to have
accomplished these requirements with or without knowing what they entail. The
details of the ceremony are of great importance, and yet it is not necessary
for the participants themselves to fully understand their roles in destiny's
design for they have no way of knowing even in what the design consists. In
fact, were we to know the true extent of destinies demands, we may well choose
not to participate, and as you can see, that cannot be part of any design if
design there be."

She smiled and leaned to my lips with the lipstick.

"You will wear black," she whispered. "You will bleed. Tonight's event will be
a ceremony of a certain magnitude perhaps more commonly known as a ritual.
Rituals include the letting of blood. Rituals that fail in this requirement are
but pretend rituals—like a wedding. A bride may forfeit her last name and
recite a few vows, but ultimately it's nothing but words. Scripted wind spoken
into the air and quickly dispersed again. She offers no tangible proof of her
conviction, no real sacrifice. But you, my love…"

She looked into my eyes and smiled. Her eyes were shining with excitement.

"You, my love, will sacrifice something far greater. Your blood? Certainly.
Your life? Possibly. Your soul?"

She let the question hang and then resumed with the makeup.

"Where a husband and wife are joined in the vagaries of holy matrimony, you and
I will be joined in something rather more visceral. A meshing of the flesh, a
partaking of blood. This night marks both the beginning and the culmination of
our courtship. The threads of our separate destinies will at last twist into a
single strand and never again in all the world's turning will they again be
parted. We will be together forever, for better or worse, till death do us
part, and neither of us need say 'I do,' for we will regardless."

She capped the mascara with a flourish and smiled.

"Are you ready?"

I was ready.

We paused in the hotel room to slip on our heels and then she led me out onto
the balcony. I had no idea how late it was, but the moon was low in the sky.
Dark grey clouds passed over it like ghostships and a light wind blew over my
bare shoulders. The balustrade was marble and cold under my hand.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

She turned me toward her and I turned willingly. She smiled and started
arranging my dark hair on my pale shoulders, as if every strand had to be just
so.

"Alice?"

"Mm?"

She looked up at me. I looked into her huge honey-colored eyes and felt myself
blush. She was so beautiful in the light of the moon, so pale, so unearthly, so
exquisite in her black satin dress. I remembered everything she'd said about
ceremony and consent and all that stuff, and I didn't want her to have any
doubts about me. I looked at her lips, her rose-pink lips, and slowly I leaned
forward and kissed her.

It was a gentle kiss, just a soft press of my lips. To let her know it was
okay, that whatever she wanted, I wanted. That I wasn't afraid of whatever
might happen. That I…

"I love you," I whispered. "Are you ready?"

Something breathless passed over her face and she nodded. "Yes."

I stood and waited, dressed in my black dress, standing in the heels she'd
bought for me. She removed my collar and laid it across the marble balustrade.
She moved the hair away from my neck. I tilted my head back and looked at the
moon. It was a huge moon, so bright and beautiful that it almost seemed to
throb with paleness. I felt her lips descended in on my neck and I closed my
eyes.

Her arms wrapped around me and pulled me close. I could feel the bite of her
fangs, harder and harder against my soft skin, until they pierced. I gasped and
cringe with the pain. I felt my blood begin to leak into her mouth and I could
feel her lips sucking at the wound.

I tilted my head even further and held her close. I could smell her scent on
the cold night wind, and for a the last time that night I felt myself
surrendering. I held her for as long as I could, but I was fading, and finally
I let myself go, sinking into the sweet oblivion of her love.

—

***** Chapter 6 *****
—

Chapter 6:

—

Alice woke me with a kiss.

The first thing I felt was the softness of her lips. The first thing I smelt
was her lavender scent. And the first thing I saw as my eyelids languidly
fluttered open was Alice; the loveliest alarm clock in the world.

She was smiling and stroking my hair. "Hi," she whispered.

Hazy memories of the prior night flooded through me and my stomach was
instantly filled with a floaty feeling like helium. I remembered nothing
specific, not right then, but I remembered Alice in her dress and I remembered
how amazing she looked. I smiled back and blinked lazily. "Hi."

It was morning, I could tell because it was light in the room. Room? Er, which
room? My head moved slightly so I could try and look at where I was and even
this small movement was enough to make me dizzy. I blinked at the ceiling but I
didn't recognize it. It wasn't my room and it wasn't the hotel room. A low
ceiling painted a plain beige. There was a window over the bed where sunlight
was coming from, but not bright sunlight, pale sunlight filtered through cloud
cover. Ah. Forks, then.

Alice was still stroking my hair. "I talked to your mom when she called your
phone," she said. "I told her you weren't feeling so good and it's probably
best if you skipped school. She wants you to call her as soon as you're awake."

I nodded, more dizziness. "Okay. Um…where are we?"

"Oh," Alice giggled, sitting up. She was sitting on the edge of the bed—double
bed—and she was dressed as if dressed for school; jeans and a tee. She gestured
with her hand at the room. "This is my room," she said. "The transfusion's all
over and I bought you back here so I could take care of you. How do you feel?"

Honestly? Sleepy. Dizzy. Sore, in certain places.

The soreness jogged some more memories and suddenly I blushed. How many times
last night? I hadn't been counting, and maybe that was a good thing. Without a
specific number, it kept the shame ambiguous, like maybe it wasn't as bad as I
thought. Teenagers are supposed to wait months before they have sex—if ever—and
even adults have the decency to wait three dates. Me and Alice, on the other
hand, seemed to have crammed a whole relationship's worth into one trip to the
mall.

But god, how many times? The thought made me smirk slightly and the sudden rush
of mental activity triggered a slight head ache. But I chuckled once, sleepily,
and said: "Great. I feel great."

Alice giggled and resumed stroking my hair. "Me too. I've been watching you
sleep all night. You're so beautiful when you're asleep. Like Snow White."

I skipped over the creepiness about watching me sleep, and skipped over the
compliment, too. It gave me a brief rush of warmth, of course, but I didn't
believe a word. She was still stroking my hair, but then I sat up, only feeling
slightly guilty as her hand slipped away. She rose from the bed so I could
swing my legs over the side, and as I did I noticed the far wall of the room
was covered with pictures.

Pictures of me.

They weren't photographs of me snapped unknowingly as I went about my daily
life, thank god, but it was still a shock. They were hand drawn watercolors and
they literally covered the wall—two walls. Most of them were of my face in
various expressions from various angles, but not all of them looked exactly
like me. Some of them looked older, some younger, but it was obvious from the
dark hair and the heart shape of the face that they were supposed to be me.

I only swept my eyes over them quickly, light headed from both the surprise and
the movement, but I could see that the pictures were amazing, although not
entirely accurate. Some of them depicted me naked with a decidedly coltish body
that seemed more like wishful thinking than artistic creativity.

Alice was watching me notice the pictures, and she smiled a shy smile, waiting
to see what I'd say about them. My glance had been too brief to form any
opinion on her technique, but a light quip came to mind. I tossed my chin at
the wall and said: "Who's the chick?"

She smiled, relieved perhaps that I didn't call her a creep and slap her. "It's
you, silly," she said, with a touch of pride that melted my heart—despite the
fact that is was kind of creepy.

I snorted and shuffled my legs over the side of the bed. "It doesn't look like
me."

"Art isn't about accuracy," she said. "It's about feeling. It feels like you,
that what's important."

"If you say so."

I was wearing clothes, I was relieved to notice. Shorts and a t-shirt, almost
my standard sleepwear. The t-shirt was a little tight and I realized with a
quick thrill that it must be Alice's.

"I do say so," Alice said, concluding our artistic debate. "Can you stand?"

She had stood up and she was offering me a hand, but I stood up by myself.
"Yeah, I'm okay," I said, pretending I didn't almost fall back down from
wooziness. This blood loss stuff is gonna take some getting used to. "What's
the time?"

"Almost noon," she said, watching me closely. "You're gonna feel weak for a
while, but you should be okay for school tomorrow if you don't over do it."

"Thanks. What did you tell my mom?"

"Food poisoning. I said you were yakking most of the night, but it's nothing
serious."

I nodded, and Alice moved over to the foot of the bed. "Here, I laid out some
clothes for you. It's some of the stuff we bought at the mall yesterday."

I glanced at the ensemble. The top was pink, but I smiled anyway. "Thanks."

"I'll go check on breakfast while you get changed. You'll be okay getting
changed by yourself?"

I nodded, masking my considerable relief. Between the wooziness and the
residual soreness between my legs, I was happy to learn that Alice wasn't
planning on attacking me as soon as my clothes were off. I hadn't even brushed
my teeth yet, and it was to early in the relationship to risk a poor
performance. "Yeah, I'm fine."

She nodded with a knowing smile, guessing my thoughts as she always did. She
flickered her eyes over my body suggestively, but then she simply walked past
me toward the door. "Alright," she said, "and don't forget to call your mom.
She sounded pretty worried."

"Yeah. And Alice?"

She opened the door and turned back. "Mm?"

I blushed suddenly. I'd been meaning to tell her something about last night,
but as she turned I was blasted by her cuteness and I completely forgot what I
was going to say. It was a bit of a sensitive subject, anyway. How exactly does
one go about telling their lover that they enjoyed being ritualistically bitten
in neck and drained of a hearty portion of their blood while reeling in their
arms from sexual enfeeblement? Pretty much anyway I say it is gonna make me
sound like a tool.

So I just smiled shyly. "Last night," I said, and I gave a little casual shrug,
so she knew how serious and heartfelt I was. "It was amazing."

She smiled, and then she came over and kissed me on the lips—a quick kiss, wary
of morning breath. "For me, too," she said. She giggled and backed away. "Oh,
by the way," she said at the door, "the bathroom's down the hall. Last door on
the left."

I nodded, still blushing. It was amazing how there was still a little
awkwardness between us, despite everything that happened yesterday. There were
moments last night when my love for her had felt as natural and absolute as the
stars in the sky; now it felt like an anxiety soaked teen crush again.

So I just nodded, pretending like I wasn't totally bewildered by the whole
situation, and said: "Okay. Thanks."

She nodded back, far more gracefully than me and with a much prettier smile,
and then she shut the door and disappeared.

And I was alone.

In Alice's room.

The thought gave me a sudden flitter of excitement that hadn't occurred to me
before, and suddenly I was aware that this was Alice's room—the place where she
sleeps and changes her clothes. I mean, oh my god. This is the place where she
gets naked sometimes.

I'd seen her naked plenty of times before, of course, so it was weird that the
idea should excite me so much. But it was exciting, and it was a cheeky kind of
excitement, so I decided to indulge it for a few moments. I didn't squeal out
loud, but I allowed myself a grin as I stood there in the center of the room,
gazing about. My eyes landed on her bed, and my grin went wider. I mean, that
was Alice's bed! That was where she slept, all warm and cuddly—or wait, do
vampire's sleep? I didn't remember. Either way, it was one lucky fucking bed.

And only ten minutes ago I'd been sleeping in it. I'd woken up with a headache
and acute wooziness, but realizing that it was Alice's bed, the bed that Alice
slept on, made me feel much better.

And her scent! I could smell it all around me, a soft fragrance of lavender and
fresh fabric. I looked at the pillow and sighed. It was just laying there,
slightly rumpled from when I'd sleeping on it. I smiled to myself. Alice's head
had been on that. And then mine was. I don't know why that fact made my life
seem complete, but it did.

Slowly, I walked over the pillow, and touched it with my fingertips. Then I
picked it up, touched it to my nose, and inhaled. I swayed on the spot, lulled
by the bliss of her scent, and then I put the pillow down again.

Then I noticed the pictures on the wall. They covered two whole walls—dozens of
them—and I felt my heart begin to race as I let my eyes wander over them. I'd
only taken a quick glance before, but now I approached closer.

There were a couple of them that caught my eye. One of them showed me as a
young girl, about four years old, and it was amazing how much it actually
looked like me at that age. It was a full body portrait, and I was wearing a
small dress and carrying a small teddy bear. My expression was pensive and
slightly sad. In fact, my expression seemed to be sad in most of the pictures,
not sad exactly, but lonely. As if sorrow somehow captured my spirit better
than anything else.

The collage was such an accurate portrait of my inner anguish that it made me
smile. The smile was totally contradictory to the implied melancholy of the
subject, of course, but sometimes great art is like that. I wasn't really a sad
person, but I had to admit; I wore it well.

And, of course, there were naked pictures, too. They were all what an artist
would call tasteful nudes, so I didn't feel outraged or violated. Just a little
embarrassed. And kind of excited. My body was no where near as hot as the
pictures depicted, but it was hard not to feel flattered that this was how
Alice saw me, how she pictured me.

In one of them I was a grown woman, and my hair was cascading down my naked
back in dark luscious waves, even longer than it is now. It reached almost to
the tips of my buttocks and my ass was even better than Alice's, round and
perfectly shaded with charcoal. In another I was much younger, maybe only
twelve. I was sitting on the ground with my knees up and my slim arms locked
around them possessively, naked and flat-chested, staring out of the picture
with dark sullen pre-teen eyes.

It was vaguely pederastic, I suppose, but sometimes great art is like that,
too.

There was one more that caught my eye. It showed me as I am now, or maybe
slightly older. Eighteen, or nineteen. It only showed my top half, and I seemed
to be reclining somewhere, naked with my full breasts exposed and one of my
wrists laying limp above my head. The striking thing about the picture, though,
was the coloring. It was drawn and shaded in charcoal, and it was all black and
white except for a vicious slash of red watercolor across my throat where a
bite wound was pumping a pale blood. The expression in my eyes was purely
passive and I seemed to have no thoughts at all as my lifeblood leaked over my
neck. Just pure vapid acceptance—even purpose.

I don't know why that fascinated me so much, but it did. I stared at it for a
long time, and I realized that I kind of admired that girl. Just laying there,
with her throat open. It seemed sexy in a way that I didn't even understand,
and after a while I turned away and shook my head.

The clothes were folded at the foot of the bed and the choker was laying on
top, a thin strip of black leather-lace. I smiled and lifted it up with one
hand while my other hand touched the bite marks on my neck, two little bumps,
slightly painful. Mistress, huh? Well, I guess I couldn't argue. And even if I
did argue she'd probably just deliver another soliloquy about destiny that I
wouldn't even understand, wouldn't even try. I wonder why she's so fixated on
destiny? I suppose when you're as old as she is—about two hundred, assuming she
grew up in nineteenth century Mississippi—you're bound to overthink things a
little. Or maybe it's like senile dementia. Either that or she just likes to
hear her own voice. I like hearing her voice, too, though, so I really
shouldn't complain.

Alice had a full-length mirror in her room, an antique in an ornate brass oval
frame. I stepped over to it and examined the bite marks more closely, tilting
back my head as if offering my throat to my reflection. They were more red than
last time, and there was a bruise around them. I touched them gently, and I was
surprised to find that I had no real opinion about them. I didn't feel excited
to be marked by her, or appalled, or scared. I was looking at them as if didn't
I quite know how they got there, and in a way I really didn't.

It seemed so surreal. Last night I was bitten by a vampire. I mean, how stupid
is that? It had happened to me, and I almost didn't believe it myself. Who
would?

Weirdly, the first emotion I could identify stirring in my stomach was shame.
And even more weirdly, I wasn't ashamed of Alice, or that Alice had bitten me,
I was simply ashamed of it bite itself. There was nothing I really could've
done to avoid it—even if I wanted to—but here, now, it didn't seem quite so
romantic anymore. I mean, seriously; is that me there in the mirror? That pale
girl with purple eyes and bite marks on her neck? Is this what I am? A vampire
victim? Victim?

The thought made me bristle slightly, but not at Alice, definitely not at
Alice. Alice was cute and Alice would never hurt me. I wasn't sure what I was
bristling at. It just seemed…unfair, somehow. Unbalanced. Why am I the one who
gets bitten? Why can't I bite her? Granted, I don't have any particular taste
for blood, but still. Fair exchange and all.

I looked down at the collar in my hand, this thin strip of leather which was
suppose to symbolize Alice's ownership of me. I frowned slightly and put it
around my neck, watching myself in the mirror. Mistress, huh? Yeah, well. We'll
see.

It took me a while to get changed and I almost fell over while putting my pants
on. Giggling, I lost balance and plopped down onto the edge of the bed, hobbled
in my pants and holding my forehead. The dizziness was kind of fun, but the
headache was getting a bit annoying.

When I was finally dressed, I grabbed up my cell phone and called mom at the
hair salon where she worked. She worked there, but she owns it, too. It had
always been her dream to run her own salon. She'd dropped out of school when
she was sixteen and owned her own place by nineteen. She was married at the
time, and pregnant, and they were divorced before I was even born. She wound up
keeping the baby, and I was glad she never put me up for adoption, but I
wouldn't have objected too strongly about being aborted. Life, in my opinion,
seems a tad overrated—especially on school days.

Still, it was great to have such a strong, warm, kind, caring mother, and as
soon as I hit the dial button, I knew she'd pick up on the first ring.

"Bella? Bella is that you?"

"Hi, mom."

"Oh my god, sweetie, are you okay? Your Alice friend said you had food
poisoning. I've been so worried. Thank god her dad is a doctor because food
poisoning can be very serious. Are you okay, sweetie?"

Ah, the sweet sound of mom's voice, paranoid, anxious, unreasonably worried. I
felt better already.

I spent at least ten minutes on the phone trying to convince her that no I
wasn't dying, and no I don't need an ambulance, and yes I'm feeling a lot
better. I didn't know the details of what Alice had told her, but I piled on a
bit extra—it must've been the sushi. It tasted weird, but I thought it was
supposed to, so I kept eating. I could almost hear mom nodding in concern as I
relayed my symptoms over the phone, detailing for her analysis the color of the
vomit, the consistency, the frequency, the velocity of expulsion. She offered
me her prognosis, and recommended a course of treatment; relax and drink plenty
of fluids. And, of course, come home as soon as possible, because obviously the
magical warmth of home would accelerate my recovery far quicker than anything
else. I kept nodding and kept reassuring her, and finally she realized that she
was neglecting her customers and had to go. She blew kisses into the phone,
gave me big metaphorical hugs, and assured me that she'd be home as early as
possible. I hadn't inquired, but I was happy to hear it. I wasn't sick,
exactly, or four years old, but mommy always had a knack for making everything
better.

Well, almost always. By the time I hung up my headache was a little worse, and
I spent a few seconds sitting on the edge of the bed, getting my head together.
I looked around the room, but to be honest I didn't feel any true urge to
snoop. It might've been fun to rifle through her underwear drawer, but that was
too creepy for comfort. The closet didn't seemed a little interesting, and I
had to admit I was curious about her clothes. She was always well dressed, and
I wondered what kind of stuff she kept in reserve. Maybe she had a whole a row
of evening gowns or something.

The closet was a huge walnutwood antique and the doors swung open on polished
brass hinges without a squeak. Inside there was clothes, but not as much as I
expected. Mainly just school stuff. Maybe she had a whole separate room for the
rest of her outfits. I flipped through some of the garments, but I resisted the
urge to inhale anything. I checked the floor of the closet for the dead body of
her previous victim—you never know—but all I found was a shoe box.

A shoe box that was labeled in red marker pen and decorated with red love
hearts. It said: "Alice's Happy Box!" and the O in 'box' was converted into a
winking smiley face with cartoon fangs and devil horns.

I had a feeling it didn't contain shoes. I pushed back the clothes and squatted
at the box, already blushing. Part of me wanted to pretend I never saw it,
terrified of what might be inside, but the excitement was overwhelming. I
mean—could it actually be what I think it will be? I let out a shaky breath,
lifted the lid, and—

It was. Sex toys.

I stared, open-mouthed. The first thing I saw on top of the pile was a neon
pink vibrator with little colored light bulbs inside it like a Christmas
decoration. It was almost as thick as my wrist and the sight of it seemed to
have short-circuited something in my head. I had the insane urge to clap down
the lid and forget I ever saw anything, but I was utterly frozen, kneeling
there with the lid in my hands. Slowly I swallowed, and then I set down the lid
beside the box. I swallowed again. Tentatively, I reached with a hand and
sifted through the box.

There was another vibrator, a purple one, and there was a pink strap on with a
bright yellow sunflower on the tip, and there was fluffy pink handcuffs with
keys shaped like lovehearts, and there was a pink leather gag, and a string of
large pink beads that didn't really look like a necklace or a bracelet, and
there were two double ended dildos, one pink, one purple, and in the bottom of
the box there was a deadly-looking two-pronged device that could probably
vibrate you in half like a jackhammer.

"Oh my god," I whispered.

I glanced over my shoulder wildly at the door, as if Alice might burst in at
any moment and tell me to get away from her stuff, and then I turned back to
the box. I tucked some hair behind my ear and swallowed. My face felt like it
was on fire. I knew most lesbian's invest in a strap-on or a vibrator at some
point in their lives, but wasn't this a little excessive?

My hands felt cold and clumsy, but I had to do it. I picked up the huge pink
vibrator and examined it closely, trying to wrap my head around it's apparent
uses. So, um. This goes in there, and then it…vibrates.

I knelt there staring. It was mind-boggling. Did Alice use this on herself? Did
she use it on other girlfriends? Will she eventually use it on me?

Will I like it?

That last question seemed most relevant, and judging from the mild reaction
between my legs from just looking at it, it's probably safe to say I'd like
it—eventually. Not now. Later in the relationship, when you know. When Alice
wanted to. I wasn't in a rush. Honestly, it seemed like kind of an odd thing to
do, to stick things in each other like that. Fingers and tongues made
sense—they were attached—but this thing seemed a trifle more gratuitous.

But jeez, it's huge. Would it even fit in Alice? Alice was a limber girl,
certainly, but I wasn't sure. Maybe she was just a collector and she didn't use
this stuff at all. Yeah, maybe that. Although, now that I thought about it, I
could almost picture it. Alice naked, on her back. Legs open, and between them…

I swallowed. I turned it in my hands again, feeling it's smooth weight. A
strange excitement was bubbling in my stomach, and I felt an urge to lick it
just once—as if I might actually taste Alice on it—but the urge itself was bad
enough, so I didn't. I placed it back onto the pile and covered it with the
lid, my hands shaking only slightly.

—

By the time I'd used the bathroom and brushed my teeth with water and my
finger—I didn't snoop for toothpaste—I was feeling a little better. My headache
had dyed down to a background throb that was almost comfortable, and I wasn't
dizzy anymore, just light headed.

I went down the corridor very slowly and quietly, glancing at the closed doors
I passed, wondering if any of Alice's sisters might be home. It was a school
day, so they probably weren't.

I wondered what her sisters thought about her relationship with me. Did it
bother them that Alice was a lesbian? Did they think she was weird, trolling
for humans at a highschool? And what was their deals, anyway? None of them had
any boyfriends at school that I was aware of, and the last time I saw them they
seemed strangely comfortable with each other. Was it possible they were gay,
too? Or even together? Alice had said they were only pretending to be a family
in order to blend in, so I guess it was possible. It even made sense. Gay
human's hung out with other gay humans; why wouldn't vampires?

Of course, they couldn't all be gay. That doctor guy was obviously with Alice's
pseudo-mom, but of the five sisters, it seemed possible. Alice was the odd one
out by dating me, and maybe the other four were actually couples.

I thought about how I'd seen them at school, and I remembered that the blonde
and the redhead seemed pretty much inseparable. I don't think I'd ever seen
them apart, in the corridors, in the cafeteria. They never touched or kissed or
anything, and there was no rumors about them that I knew of, but they did seem
to be always together.

And the smaller blonde, Jane, and the native American girl, Leah, actually held
hands sometimes. They didn't get talked about like me and Alice—probably
because they were sisters and neither was confirmed gay—but sometimes you'd see
the taller girl with her arm around the smaller girl's waist.

Add the fact that these girls are actually centuries old vampires, and it
seemed almost likely that they were all paired up in some way. After all, who
would want to spend eternity alone?

In any case, it didn't seem like anyone was home. Nevertheless, I went down the
stairs slowly, hand on the banister, on guard against bumping into any
goddesses. The whole house was done in a modern beige décor, expensive but
tasteful. The stairs led down into the living area where there was a cream-
colored leather sofa and matching recliners, beige carpet, beige walls, and in
front of the sofa was the biggest plasma I'd ever seen. It was hooked up to a
surround sound system, and I noticed both a Wii and a PS3. No Xbox, and I
suppose that made sense. Xbox was a more masculine console. Girls tend to
prefer PS3, that is if they even like games, which most don't. I didn't, and I
didn't think Alice did. Maybe one of her sisters did?

I located the kitchen by following a faint sizzling sound and the smell of
frying bacon. I hoped Alice wasn't going to too much trouble, but I couldn't
deny the smell made my stomach growl. I'm usually not big on meat, but after
losing a large chunk of arterial blood last night, I guess I could use the
protein.

The kitchenette was just off the dinning room where a huge oak dinning table
lay beneath a modest chandelier. There was no door or walls, just a row of
cabinets and a counter, and as I came around, I got a shock. It wasn't Alice.

It was her mom.

She had her caramel-colored hair in a high ponytail and she was wearing an
apron. She was standing at the stove and she smiled when she noticed me. "Oh,
there you are," she said, turning off the stove. "You're just in time."

"Oh," I said, pausing at the counter. "Um, you're Alice's mom-person, right?"

"Yes, dear, you can call me Esme." On the counter there was a plate of steaming
waffles and she added a few strips of bacon to it from the frying pan. "I hope
your hungry," she said, "waffles are one of my specialties. Now, would you like
some coffee? Or maybe juice…?"

"Um, juice is good."

She opened the fridge and looked into it. "We have apple and orange."

"Um, apple, thanks."

She smiled and grabbed the bottle of apple juice. "Alice likes apple, too."

I smiled, shuffling slightly on my feet, delighted at the news. We have the
same taste in juice, I guess we really must be soulmates. "Um, where is Alice?"
I asked.

Alice's mom, or Esme, was pouring a glass and setting it beside the plate.
"She's in the garden," she said, "picking flowers for a bouquet. Sit down,
honey, sit down."

I sat on one of the breakfast stools at the counter and picked up a bright
silver fork, my heart fluttering. "Flowers?"

She smiled and took the frying pan back over to the sink. "For you, yes.
Alice's sense of romance is terribly erratic. One never quite knows what she's
capable of. She's a creature of impulse, our Alice. She lets her heart guide
her, moment to moment. She's generally cute enough to get away with it, but
sometimes she requires a certain indulgence. Her smiles are more fragile than
you'd think."

I smiled, not eating. It was the first time I'd heard any opinion of Alice from
someone who actually knows her and I found myself agreeing completely and dying
for more. Alice was still mostly a mystery to me and I would've loved to
interrogate her mom about all her quirks and secrets, but the woman had hung
the pan to dry and noticed me not eating.

"Eat, honey, eat," she urged, drying her hands. "Before it gets cold."

I nodded, starting on the waffles. Creature of impulse. That's so true. But I
wonder what she meant by fragile smiles? Did she mean it's easy to upset her,
or disappoint her? I hadn't noticed that. Then again, I remembered certain
things, like in the cafeteria last week, when she invited me to sit with her
and her sisters and I said no. Her smile had faded pretty instantly. Maybe
that's what her mom meant.

Meanwhile, Alice's 'mom,' came over to the other side of the counter, and
looked at me with a caring expression. "To be honest, honey," she said, "I sent
Alice outside so you and I could talk in private for a moment."

Uh oh. Private conversation with the GF's mother? With the GF's vampire mother?
I swallowed nervously and said: "Oh."

She saw my unease and smiled, a reassuring smile that actually did make me
relax a little. She wouldn't have smiled like that if she was going to tell me
to stay away from her daughter, or eat me for lunch.

Her expression became even more caring and she tilted her head sympathetically.
"Mostly I wanted to make sure you're okay," she said, and she said it so
tactfully that she might as well've added: after you got fucked into a coma and
bitten in the neck by my daughter last night.

But she seemed genuinely concerned, and if last night had been a big deal to
Alice, I guess it might've been a big deal to her family, too. Alice had been
convinced it was dangerous, but I never believed her, and I was right; after
all, here I am. A little woozy, maybe, and a little sore between the legs, but
I'm still here.

I swallowed and shrugged nervously. "Um, fine," I said. "Great. Why?"

"It's my understanding that certain things happened between you and Alice last
night," she said, and once again she was so tactful that I almost cringed from
embarrassment. "And to be honest, I have concerns. Alice is like a daughter to
me. I don't want to see her get hurt."

That took me by surprise. How could I possibly hurt Alice? Maybe if I stabbed
her with the fork in my hand, but beyond that she seemed fairly invulnerable.
But the comment seemed to call for a response, so I said: "I won't hurt her."

She chuckled. "Not deliberately, no, of course not. But Alice is different from
other girls you may have dated."

I almost burst out laughing at that. Assuming that I'd dated other girls was so
wildly optimistic that it almost hurt. And no shit Alice is different. You can
tell just by looking at her. Alice: goddess. Other girls: trolls.

But I didn't say anything. The woman obviously had something on her mind,
although I was beginning to suspect that melodrama might run in the family.

"There's a danger to your relationship that Alice might have been reluctant to
explain," she said. "She's a sweet girl, but she can also be a little…reckless.
She was determined not to let her thirst get out of hand, but…"

She trailed off, and I thought: Yep. Melodrama.

"It's hard for her, isn't it?" I asked, more curious than anything else. "Not
to feed?"

She nodded solemnly. "At times, yes."

I looked at her, standing there in her apron, wringing the hand towel in her
hands. Momma vampire. She didn't seem very vampiric, but then again, neither
did Alice. I found it difficult to believe this woman actually went around
biting people, and before I could stop myself, I asked:

"What's it like for you guys?"

She smiled shyly and a faint blush was rising on her cheeks, as if I'd
accidentally asked about sex or something, which in a way maybe I did. It was
probably a stupid question and I already regretted it.

But she passed over the indiscretion without awkwardness. "It's simpler," she
said. "Alice has her own ideas about these things. Her own habits. And that's
what concerns me. I mentioned that she can be reckless, but she can also be
willful. Even extravagant. I don't want her to force you into anything that you
aren't ready for, that's all."

I didn't really know what she was getting at, but I shrugged and nodded. "Well,
everything's cool so far, so…"

She nodded, looking me over, and then she smiled. "Well," she said. "I can't
say I completely approve of your relationship, but I'm glad you're both happy."

I frowned, a bit miffed. "Why don't you approve?" I said with a slight scoff in
my voice. "Alice says we're soulmates."

She smiled and shrugged slightly. "I'm sure you are, but as I said, Alice has
her own ideas about these things. Regardless of how much you might eventually
love each other, she had no right to force it on you so early. She should've
been more considerate of your inexperience."

I guess the woman had a point, but for some reason I felt compelled to defend
Alice. I wasn't kidding last night when I said she was the best thing that's
ever happened to me. Why should I care if she's impatient to accelerate the
relationship? She was over a hundred years old, for god's sake. Of course she
wants a deeper relationship. And considering my relationship alternatives—or
lack of—I really didn't see what right I had to complain.

My own feelings aren't that important to me, anyway, especially in this
situation. Sure, last night might've been a bit epic for a my taste, but did it
matter? Alice was a cute, friendly, insanely affectionate girl who actually
like spending time with me for some reason. A pint of blood and a few lectures
on destiny seemed like a small price to pay. Besides, Alice hadn't forced me
into anything. She'd given me so many chances to back out it was almost
annoying.

And now her mom was saying she didn't approve—of what, exactly? Her daughter's
harmless enthusiasm for sex and ritualized blood letting? Or does she object to
my age and status as a minor? Whatever it was, surely it was something that
justified a little teen self-righteousness, and so I drew my brows together in
an indignant frown that might've been closer to a pout, and said:

"Well, I'm a lot older than I look. You know, inside. I mean, I'm not a kid.
I'm very mature, like, deep down."

It sounded lame even to my own ears, and after I faltered to an embarrassing
stop, the other woman simply smiled and nodded understandingly.

"Of course, dear," she said. "I didn't mean any offence. I only meant to warn
you of the dangers you may face in this relationship. You may think that Alice
is all smiles and sunshine, but she is a vampire. She'll try to do what's best
for you, but she won't always be capable. Her mind will become clouded by the
thirst and by her pre-conceived notions of fate and destiny. She'll assume
everything will be alright when perhaps they won't. In those situations it will
be up to you to set some boundaries. Don't let her force you into anything that
doesn't feel right. That's all I ask. For both your sakes."

Her words left a weird impression on me, and I just nodded in reply. It's
funny. I'd always believed that I really was mature for my age, but as soon as
the relationship talk started to get serious, I seemed to lose interest pretty
quick. Could it be possible that I'm not as grown up as I thought I am?

I didn't know. All I knew was that it made me uncomfortable to think that
things aren't totally perfect, or that there actually might be consequences to
our relationship. I mean, everything was good so far. Why stress?

In any case, the woman didn't have time for any more ominous relationship
advice, because that's when Alice came in. The glassdoor that led outside slid
open and Alice came in with a smile and a small bouquet of colorful tulips in
her hands.

"Hi, baby," she said, coming over to me directly. "Look what I got for you,"

I made an effort to look surprised and delighted as I took the bouquet from
her. Flowers didn't do much for me, honestly, but it was a sweet gesture. "Wow,
thanks," I said convincingly. "They're beautiful."

Alice smiled happily. Her mom smiled, too, and then she turned away to rifle
through one of the cabinets over the sink.

"They're tulips," Alice told me excitedly. "Do you know why they're tulips?"

"Why?"

She was stroking my hair lovingly—she had a habit of that this morning. With me
on the stool and her standing beside me, we were almost eye level, and little
waves of love were rolling over me with each stroke of her hand. "Because
tulips symbolize perfect love," she said. "Perfect love for a perfect girl."

I chuckled once. She had a strange definition of perfect, but I obliged her
with a blush of delight, nonetheless. "Thanks," I said, and because she's not
the only one full of shit, I added: "Tulips are my favorite."

"Me too," she giggled. Then she nodded at them eagerly. "Smell them, smell
them," she urged, and since smelling them seemed like a good way to pretend I
liked them, I did. I dipped my nose and sniffed daintily. Mostly they smelled
like breakfast, but I did detect a faint flower scent, a smell like…well,
flowers. I don't know if they smelt like tulips, but since they actually were
tulips, it was probably a safe bet, so I smiled and said: "Mmm."

"Hey, Esme," Alice said, turning to her mom-like person. "Can I get a…"

The woman handed her a vase already filled with water. She'd filled it up at
the sink as Alice was talking, almost as if she'd read the other girl's mind,
and I realized that they must know each other really well. I wonder how long
they've been living together?

"Thanks," Alice said, setting the vase on the counter beside my breakfast. She
stuck the tulips in and fanned them out, examined them, and then rearranged a
couple as if it actually made a difference.

Her mom was drying her hands on her apron and then she pulled the apron off and
hung it by a hook on the pantry door. "Well, I have errands to run," she said,
grabbing up a set of keys from a bowl on the counter by the refrigerator. "You
girls behave yourself while I'm gone. And Alice, make sure Bella gets home in
time. I don't want her mother to worry."

Alice had snagged a piece of bacon off my plate with my own fork and was
munching it happily. "Okay, Esme."

The woman, Esme, gave me a smile, shook her head at Alice, and then she left.

"Mmm, this is good," Alice said, giving me back my fork. "I love Esme's
cooking. The best thing about it is that you don't have to do it yourself."

I knew what she meant. Moms' are great like that, the way they cook and do
laundry and stuff. It'll be difficult living without one one day.

I had resumed eating, my appetite flourishing now that Alice was back and at my
side, and Alice took a stool next to me. She watched me for a moment and then
she leaned slightly and spoke in a soft voice.

"So, um…Is everything okay, Bella?"

I paused with a mouthful of waffle. Actually, I felt much better now that I was
eating something. The wooziness was almost entirely gone and the headache was
nothing worth mentioning. I've had worse headaches from thinking too hard in
math class.

"Of course," I said, after I swallowed. "Why?"

"Well, last night was pretty huge," she went on, almost delicately. "I just
wanted to make sure you're okay."

Oh, so that's what she's talking about. I don't know why both Alice and her
mother seemed to think I ought to be traumatized by the greatest night of my
life, but I hoped I wouldn't have to reassure them too many times. I mean,
seriously; what's the big deal? It was wild.

"I'm great, Alice."

"Good," she said, then giggled. "I was worried I might've scared you off. I
mean, I said some weird stuff last night, huh? I get so weird when I don't
feed. It's like being drunk. I didn't creep you out, did I?"

Honestly, I didn't remember half the stuff she'd said last night. I'd been so
tired and exhausted, and I hadn't really been paying attention. My memory
wasn't that good, anyway. Something about weddings and rituals? I'm sure it was
romantic, whatever it was.

But in any case, no I didn't feel particularly creeped out, so I just shrugged
and went on eating. "Not really," I said. "I think it's cute when you talk all
weird."

"Well, what about all those pictures in my room?" she went on anxiously. "And
me watching you sleep? Any creepiness there?"

I chuckled. "You're a vampire, Alice," I said. "You're entitled to a little
creepiness."

She lit up from relief. "God, you are so understanding!" she beamed, wrapping
me into a quick hug. "I've never met anyone like you, Bella."

I'm sure there's plenty of girls like me checked into depression clinics all
across the country, but I didn't want any competition, so I just smiled and
said: "I've never met anyone like you, either."

She was still hugging me around the waist and now she started rubbing her cheek
against my shoulder. "Yeah, but like you said," she whispered. "I'm a vampire.
You're just a regular girl. I think it's me who's the lucky one."

I tried not to believe her, but my heart glowed, anyway.

We fell silent for a while, and while I ate—awkwardly, with Alice's arms
clamped around my waist the whole time—I found myself wondering why she likes
me. And not just like, but love. She'd told me last night that she loves me,
and while I was certainly happy to hear it, it does beg the question of: why?

Well, it probably wasn't my frumpy sense of style that drove her heart wild.
And I doubt it was my lack of confidence and obvious inferiority. And yet last
night she'd made a toast with expensive champagne especially to rhapsodize
about how much she loved me. What was it she'd said? The sweetest, loveliest,
most perfect girl she'd ever met. Well, gee. It had been overwhelming at the
time, but in retrospect it was kind of ridiculous. I mean, seriously. Me,
perfect? Please. You could throw a rock in the school cafeteria and hit a girl
better than me, even if you were aiming at a bitch like Lauren.

I don't know, maybe it's just my blood. Or scent. Even now she was nuzzling
into my neck like a drunk chick. She'd said that the desire to feed was rooted
in emotional attachment, but maybe it was the other way around. Maybe
attachment was rooted in the desire to feed. It made more sense, at least.

But in the end, it didn't matter. I'd only known her for two week week, but she
was quite clearly a nutcase, and there was probably no way to understand how
that pretty head of hers worked. I couldn't even understand her vocabulary part
of the time, so her mind itself would likely always be beyond my powers of
comprehension. For now it would be best to just roll with the punches and see
what happens. After all, maybe she's actually attracted to inferiority and
emotional vulnerability. You have to be suspicious of stalker tendencies in a
chick who likes to watch her girlfriend sleep—all night.

Either way, she liked me, and that was enough. It would be ungrateful to doubt
her, especially after last night. Besides, I'm forgetting how hot she is. With
an ass like that, does it really matter why she likes me? Blood, destiny, or
morbid fascination with teenage losers—whatever her reasons, I had my reasons,
too. And I planned to cling to that ass for as long as I possibly could—or at
least until she put on a few pounds. I have my pride, after all.

Then again, maybe it would be me gaining weight, the way I was scoffing down
breakfast. That Esme chick did good waffles.

—

It was almost one o'clock by the time I'd finished eating and Alice asked me if
I wanted to hang out a little before she took me home. I could've pointed out
what an incredibly stupid question that was, but instead I simply agreed,
refraining from the urge clasp my hands and gush with gratitude.

She took me into the living room and sat me down on the sofa. The cat that
Alice had introduced me to last week, Fang, was curled up on one of the
recliners and as I sat down it raised it's head and looked at me with a look of
such supreme distain in it's amber eyes that I began to feel self-conscious. I
smiled at it and even gave it a friendly wave, but this only seemed to affront
the creature further; it's eyes flared at my presumptuousness and it continued
to stare at me until I finally broke down and looked away, only barely managing
not to cry.

Alice had booted up the PS3 and then she flopped onto the sofa beside me and
gave me a controller. I told her I wouldn't mind just watching her play, but
she said she wanted to kick my ass and that seemed fair enough. The game was
Street Fighter, and Alice was quick to mention how she rarely played it and
wasn't that good at it. She was also equally quick to decimate my character
inside ten seconds before even explaining the controls. We ended up on the
character select screen, and I took the opportunity to mention that I've never
played a fighting game of any kind and I had no idea what I was doing. Alice
gave me a quick tutorial and then gleefully slaughtered me all over again.

It took me a few matches before I could last long enough to even get a hit on
her, but eventually I was able provide her with some semblance of a minor
challenge. She let me win a few times, and even pretended that I'd beaten her
by skill, which I thought was really sweet.

It was actually really fun. It wasn't the kind of game I'd play by myself, but
I've never been a huge gamer. I only owned a handful of titles that I kept in a
small stack by the TV. Things like Final Fantasy, or Mass Effect, or Dragon
Age, games that have stories—or lesbian romance. My attention span was
relatively shallow, and a bit of girl-girl interaction was generally enough to
keep me interested. My favorite game was Final Fantasy XIII. Not because it was
a great game—it wasn't—but because there was a romantic subtext between two of
the lead female characters. There's no actual proof in-game, but it's as
blatant as mainstream entertainment allows, and even if they are Just Friends
it's still a really sweet and loving relationship. They're pretty hot, too.

Street Fighter was a little more fast paced than I was used to, and it didn't
really flatter my lack of motor-skills. I jabbed at the controller with my
thumbs, mashing the d-pad. Alice didn't even need to try. She just giggled and
shoved a fireball down my throat, bouncing on the sofa excitedly as the letters
KO smashed into the screen and her character—a scantily clad blonde in military
green—flashed her victory pose. The cat had gone back to sleep, but it looked
up at the screen from time to time, and you could tell the poor thing longed
for the ability to shake it's head disapprovingly.

Alice giggled and started a new game. "Okay, you can win the next one," she
grinned. "Let's see how long I can last without attacking even."

I was blushing slightly from being so thoroughly and frequently pasted. "I
thought you said you weren't good at this game?"

"I'm not!" Alice cackled cheerfully. "You just suck!"

Then she collapsed into me with wild giggles. I jostled on the sofa and
frowned, but her body felt warm as it brushed against mine, and her scent was
so sweet. Besides, she was having fun, and that's the main thing.

"Seriously, though," Alice went on. "I'm not even that good. You should see
Jane, she's incredible. She dismantles me even quicker than I dismantle you."

I found that hard to believe. Not only was I inclined to believe my girlfriend
was the absolute best at everything, but despite Alice's claims of rarely
playing, she was actually very good. She played without concentration and her
button-pushes were precise and deliberate. How could someone else have such an
advantage over her? I shot her a skeptical look as I tried to punch her game-
character in the face. "Really?"

"Oh yeah," Alice said, dodging away from me. "Jane's a world champ. She goes to
Japan every year for the tournaments. She's not the only girl, either. You'd be
surprised. In Japan there's tons of girl-gamers."

"Wow. Do any of your other sisters like games?"

"Not really. I play a few things every now and then for fun, and Leah plays
with Jane sometimes, but Rose and Vicky won't touch them. They think it's
beneath their dignity."

I chuckled at the mental image of that stuckup blonde and haughty redhead
playing video games; they truly did not fit the stereotype. I was fumbling with
the kick buttons, trying to pull off some poor excuse for a combo, and Alice
was back-flipping over me—still with most of her life bar intact—when there was
the sound of a car outside, a crunch of gravel as it pulled up in the driveway.

"Uh oh," Alice said, watching the shadow pass in the window like an omen.

She'd stopped playing altogether, but my fine sense of sportsmanship didn't let
me score a couple cheap hits. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's my sisters," she said, with a wince. She glanced at me with a quick look
of franticness, as if I was something she was supposed to clean up but didn't.
"Um, just act natural, okay? And don't look Rosalie in the eye. Seriously,
you'll turn to stone."

I'd been nervous about seeing them already, but now I felt a cold lump of dread
drop into my stomach. Was she being literal when she said I'd turn to stone? Or
was it just a mythological reference warning me against her sister's gorgon
stare? Vampire's didn't seem to have any superpowers that I'd seen—beyond
demonic sex-drives—but I'd hate to find out about medusa-like petrifaction-rays
the hard way.

The front door opened and several heartbreakingly attractive highschool girls
were sailing in, carrying satchels or backpacks, dressed in designer labels,
their hair shiny and perfect, blonde, red, brunette. The smaller blonde was
mid-sentence.

"Fucking algebra," she was saying. "Leah, you're doing my homework tonight,
because seriously; if I have to look at that stupid shit one more fucking time
I'm gonna just—"

That's when they noticed me. There was a large arch in the wall that opened
into the living area and they stopped under it and looked at me. A couple of
them smirked.

I didn't burst into flames, but it wasn't for lack of embarrassment. They
adjusted their backpacks silently and looked at me sitting there with the
controller in my hands and my mouth hanging open like a fish. I couldn't even
imagine what they must've thought. What did I look like, sitting there beside
their sister, so very plain and human, the leather choker around my neck to
hide the bite marks. How much did they know about me and Alice? The mother-
figure had known everything, so they probably did, too.

It was the taller blonde who spoke first. The infamous Rosalie. She was tall
for a girl, and she took a graceful step forward, her figure in her jeans and
tee so poised and perfect, and she looked at me with a distain that reminded me
of the cat, and said: "What's she still doing here?"

It wasn't really the warm friendliness I'd been hoping for, and I blushed even
darker. If the sisters weren't blocking the way to the front door I might've
sprinted for it. Even Alice seemed to wilt slightly under her sister's stare.
She glanced at me, almost meekly, and then turned back to the blonde. The cat
had come awake and it's tail flicked happily when it saw Rosalie.

"She's hanging out," Alice said.

It didn't seem to satisfy the blonde. She passed her green cat-eyes over her
sister and then let them linger on me in a steady stare of contempt. For a
second I thought I actually did turn to stone, but then I realized I was
breathing. The blonde snorted, so softly and haughtily that you couldn't even
hear it, and then she turned away scornfully and started up the stairs. The cat
quickly hopped off the recliner and followed her with it's tail up.

Somehow I was still alive, but it had been one of the most grueling moments of
my life. I was used to mindless hate, of course, but this girl seemed to have
developed an intense aversion to my very existence. It confused me. I mean;
what's up with that?

Alice sighed and turned to me, setting down her controller on the glass
coffeetable. "I'll be back in a sec, okay? I'd better…"

She trailed off, and there was no way I could possibly know what she'd better
go do, but I nodded anyway. It seemed to be a sister thing, and I didn't want
to cause problems.

Alice quickly scampered up the stairs after the temperamental blonde, and of
the remaining sister, the redhead heaved a dramatic sigh and started up the
stairs, too. She was wearing knee-boots and a black mini-skirt, and I had to
make a conscious effort not to lean over the back of the couch and stare as she
went by.

"I'd better make sure they don't kill each other," she told the others,
mounting the stairs in her heeled boots. "Or at least watch."

The smaller blonde, Jane, smirked at that, and then she turned to me. Like her
taller sister she looked like she wanted to kill me, but not out of anger; for
fun.

The other remain sister was the Native American one, Leah. She seemed the
friendliest and she projected a tough big-sister kind of vibe. She was dressed
less girlish than the others. She wore loose cut blue jeans, boots, and a black
jacket over a black top that bared her impressively toned midriff. She noticed
my discomfort and strolled into the living area casually.

"Hey," she said. "I'm Leah, you remember?"

I was so grateful to not have my head bitten off that I might've nodded a
little too eagerly. "Yeah, I remember. I'm Bella."

"Yeah, I know. Alice talks about you all the time. Me and Bella did this, me
and Bella did that. You'd be embarrassed if you knew."

I was embarrassed without knowing. But Alice wouldn't talk about our less than
conventional sex-life with them, would she? No, of course not. Alice was one of
the most modest and reserved young women I'd ever met. Discretion is her middle
name.

The brunette had flopped down onto the recliner that the cat had vacated and
now the smaller blonde came sauntering in. She didn't waste time with a
friendly greeting. She eyed the controller in my hands and said: "Is that my
controller?"

I prayed to god it wasn't. Her tone of voice led me to believe that she'd
personally murder me if it was, accident or not, and I was really too young to
die. "I don't know," I said, with a shrug. "Alice just gave it to me."

"Relax," Leah said with an easy grin. "She's just messing with you."

The blonde smiled at my discomfort. "Yeah, I'm just playing. Alice wouldn't
give you my controller. Not unless she's developed some kind of violent death
wish that a chainsaw wouldn't satisfy. Mine's the pink one. Here, hold on a
sec."

She went and fetched a pink controller from the glass cabinet under the TV and
then she came and sat beside me. A got a waft of her scent, apples and
cinnamon, and I felt a flicker of attraction that I squashed almost instantly.

"So what are we playing here?" she was saying as she turned on the controller.
She grinned. "Oooh, Street Fighter. Alice trying to get some practice, huh? You
any good?"

I shook my head. "Not really."

"That's okay, I'm not looking for a challenge. I just like winning."

She started up the game and killed me in one combo. She whooped with giggles
and started another match which ended in the same way. She reminded me of
Alice, and not just for her desire to virtually kick the living shit out of me.
Her voice was similar, high and lilting, and she laughed in the same way, with
that same kind of giggle.

Her body was also very similar, but I was trying not to look at that. I was
paying attention to the game, of course, but more importantly I was remembering
that Alice is my girlfriend—and soulmate—and I probably shouldn't be checking
out her pretend-sisters, no matter how nice they smell or how close they were
sitting on the sofa.

She was very pretty, though, with straight strawberry blonde hair, and perfect
doll-like features. Her eyes, when I saw them, were dark blue, and they
sparkled as she giggled and demolished my character with alarming ease.

"Oh man, you suck," she was saying. "Watch me kick her ass, Leah. Pow! Right in
the head. Didn't see that one coming, did ya sweetheart?"

I wasn't even trying, and when I glanced at Leah she gave a little eye roll at
Jane that made me smile. My character was getting grounded into paste, and I
pressed a few buttons to try and prevent this, but nothing seemed affective
against the other girl's onslaught. I was starting to believe she might
actually be a match for Alice.

"So," Leah said, in an attempt to start a conversation that wasn't mostly
trash-talk. "You and Alice, huh?"

I nodded, a flicker of excitement in my stomach. I liked the sound of that. Me
and Alice.

She studied me a second, as if trying to determine something from my
expression, and then she smiled. "Have fun at the mall yesterday?"

I tried not to blush. We had lots of fun at the mall. Too much fun. "Yeah."

She nodded. "I've been shopping with Alice," she mentioned. Then she winced
thoughtfully, as if recalling something painful. "It was hell."

Jane snickered as she broke my character's nose. "You know, the four of us need
to go on a double date some time."

I felt a quick shiver pass through me. It was the way she said us; was she
referring to her and Leah as a couple? Was it really possible? But I didn't
want to be presumptuous, or look like an idiot, so I said: "What do you mean?"

"You and Alice, me and Leah," Jane said. "It'll be fun."

She was still concentrating on the screen, casually beating my head in as if it
was no big deal that she just confirmed that she was in a lesbian relationship.
I wish subtext was this easy to figure out on TV. I'm still puzzling about Xena
and Gabrielle.

I kept playing, but I glanced at Leah, with her wolfish copper-colored face and
well-toned midriff, and I couldn't help thinking; Lesbian? Seriously?

And Jane? This small, perky, little blonde who's kicking my face at Street
Fighter?

I've never been a big believer in stereotype, but aren't these chicks just a
little too hot to be gay? Isn't it just a little too good to be true?

Then again, you wouldn't assume someone so cute could be so good at a video
game, either. Besides, it's not like physically attractive lesbians are a
biological impossibility. Sappho was beautiful enough to inspire sculptures and
oilpaintings. Hell, even Marilyn Monroe was a lesbian. Not to mention Alice
herself. And even me, in a way. I'm no oilpainting, sure—and I'm not blonde—but
objectively speaking I'm not a total dog. My mom always said I'm pretty, at
least.

"So, um…" I cleared my throat. "You guys are…?"

Leah nodded. "Alice didn't tell you?"

I shook my head. "She doesn't really talk about personal stuff." With me, at
least. She seem to talk all kinds of personal stuff to her family.

Jane snorted. "Typical. She probably wants to keep you focused on her. She's
always been an attention seeker. Poor girl. It must be hard being the ugly
sister."

I chuckled, glancing at her weirdly. "Ugly?"

"Oh, she's awful, darling. Compared to us, that is. Surely you've noticed."

I glanced again to see if she was joking. I wasn't sure, and in arriving at
something diplomatic to say that wouldn't offend any of the sisters or agree to
such a grossly inaccurate description of my girlfriend, I cleared my throat,
and said: "Well, looks aren't really important to me, so…"

Probably a stupid thing to say—and not precisely accurate, I had to admit—but
it made the blonde chuckle, so I guess that was okay. Leah chuckled, too.

"Jane's the mean sister, if you hadn't noticed," she said.

"Mean?" Jane snorted. "I'm not mean. I'm a sadist, is what I am."

She then inputted a complicated combo and broke my character's back in a
sickening slo-mo crunch that won her the match.

She giggled. "See what I mean?"

I chuckled, not bothered about losing. "You're pretty good at this game."

"Ah," she said, "so that's what Alice sees in you. You're a sweet talker. She's
sweet talking me, Leah. Are you gonna let her sweet talk me like that? Ow,
shit. Bitch got me. How the fuck did she get me? Oh man, you are so fucking
dead."

We kept playing for a while and by the time Alice came down the stairs I'd been
beaten so bad it almost hurt in real-life. I'd been having fun, but honestly I
lost interest in the game as soon as I saw her. She'd been gone longer than I
thought she'd be, and honestly I found her sisters a little overwhelming. They
were both friendly enough—even the psychotic blonde—but they were so obviously
superior to me in everything from looks to personality to motor-skills that I
was starting to feel exhausted from self-consciousness. Not to mention my
headache flared up every time I flinched from the poundings I kept getting on
the screen. It had been nice to meet them and exchange a few words, but now
that Alice was here, I was looking forward to her taking me home so I could beg
her to stay a while.

She came down the stairs at a jaunty trot, and I was curious about what had
happened upstairs with her sisters, but there was nothing in her expression
that suggested a fight. She didn't look sad, or angry, or relieved. She just
looked like Alice, happy little Alice, as if she'd simply been to the bathroom
and was back now.

"Hey," she said, smiling in my direction.

"Hi," I replied, resisting the urge to tell her how much I missed her.

She looked at her sisters with her hands on her hips. "You guys being nice to
Bella?"

Jane snorted. "Are you kidding? I face-wrecked the bitch on Street Fighter."

Leah grinned. "She's surviving. How's Rose?"

Alice didn't answer. She turned to me and smiled, and I got the awkward
impression that it wasn't a real smile. It seemed like the kind of smile a
worried adult might give a child to set them at ease about something.

"Bella, it's getting kind of late," she said. "I should probably take you home,
huh?"

"Oh," I said, searching for some place to put the controller. I put it on the
coffeetable and stood up. "Okay."

Jane grinned. "Obedient," she said. "I like it."

I smiled at her and waved awkwardly as I went past. "See you."

"Oh, ta ta," she said britishly. "A delight to see you, I'm sure. We must have
you for dinner sometime."

I smiled to be polite—lame joke, really—and gave another awkward wave to her
sister, Leah. She nodded, but didn't say anything. She'd been watching Alice,
and when I turned to Alice she smiled at me and took my hand, but I got the
feeling that she'd only been smiling when I was looking.

—

It was a quiet drive home. Grey skies, light drizzle. We made a little small
talk about her sisters, but only two of them. Alice didn't mention the tall
blonde or the foxy redhead, and I didn't ask, although I spent a lot of time
wondering.

The blonde obviously had some kind of issue with me, and as objectionable as my
overall person may be, I had a feeling it might be something more personal
between her and Alice. She didn't approve of me, clearly, but why? Does she
think I'm not good enough for her sister? Well, I'm not, but still; it's not
something a polite person makes an issue of. When family members date people of
objectionable quality it's appropriate to be nice to their face and trash them
behind their backs. You're not supposed to stare at them as if they were
something that might require a whole bottle of floor cleaner.

Could there be some history between her and Alice? Romantic history? Sexual
history? The idea of Alice and that blonde chick having sex was enough to
distract me completely for about five minutes, but slowly I forced my mind back
to the main issue, and I realized that it was stupid think to the blonde was
jealous. In fact, not stupid; utterly ridiculous. If she had feelings for Alice
and Alice picked me over her, then it would seem I'm dating a moron, or at
least someone with poor eyesight. More likely the blonde simply felt that my
lowly presence was a pollutant to her house and sister, which was
understandable, really. If I was someone else I'd object to me, too.

Besides, if it was a spat between exes, why would the redhead get involved?
She'd obviously tagged along to mediate the dispute, and I'd already
hypothesized that she and the blonde were a couple. They were inseparable at
school, and maybe that's why the redhead tagged along, to make sure her girl
had backup. I didn't like to think of the two of them double teaming to
convince Alice of my character flaws and general worthlessness, but I did like
to think of them as a couple. I mean, seriously; trashy redhead and stuckup
blonde? Talk about soulmates.

Overall, though, Alice had a pretty cool family. That woman, Esme, was really
nice, and she seemed to take her role as mother-person very seriously, even
offering me relationship advice. I'd forgotten most of it by now, but I
remembered when she said she didn't approve. Everyone has a right to their
opinion, of course—and I suppose I should be grateful she said it nicely
instead of attempting to stare me to death like her blonde daughter—but I had
to wonder how Alice felt about it. Did she know her faux-mom didn't exactly
approve? Alice didn't strike me as the kind of girl who cared much about any
opinions other than her own, but I still wondered.

Jane was pretty cool, and so was her sister, Leah—or her girlfriend, Leah. Hard
to believe they're actually a couple. They'd be the first same-sex couple I'd
ever seen, other than when me and Alice were in a mirror. A double date would
be fun, but I wondered if they were as wild as Alice? And how did they feed?
Did they have human girlfriends too? Or did they get their blood somewhere
else, like a blood bank?

So many questions. They were a very mysterious family. And what the hell was
that cat's problem, anyway? Do I stink or something? I've never met such a
snobby animal.

By the time we got home it was raining. Alice had an obnoxious yellow umbrella
in her car—she claimed it was Jane's—and together we ran across the lawn to the
front door. I had to lean on Alice for a second after we stopped until the
dizziness went away—she smelt like rain and lavender—and then I unlocked the
door and we went in.

Alice had stowed yesterday's shopping bounty in the trunk and it took her three
trips to bring it all in. I was sitting on the edge of the bed watching her
make a pile of shopping bags in the corner. The dress was being dry cleaned,
she said, but I'd get it soon, and besides I'd already worn it once so she'd
have to get me a new one, and how long till prom anyway?

I was dizzy and dopey enough from the run across the yard and the hike up the
stairs to do nothing but stare at her lovingly as she busied herself fixing my
closet and folding things away in drawers. She lamented that I wasn't feeling
well enough for a brief fashion parade, but I was relieved. I didn't want to
take off my clothes right now. I just wanted to sit here and stare at Alice.

I still found it amazing how cute she was. In a way it was a shame. I'd told
her sisters that looks weren't important to me, and it would've been nice to
find out if that was true. I think it would be. I think I'd still like her even
if she was a little sub-par.

The truly amazing thing is that she likes me. That's the real puzzle. Last
night was incredible, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed kind
of…fake. She said she'd been waiting all her life to meet me, but why? What's
so special about drab little me? There had to have been other girl's in her
life, other women. What was wrong with any of them? Why is she still single
after all this time? Because she was waiting for me? Why? I mean, really; what
the hell?

Insecurity was niggling at my stomach, but I forced it away by flickering my
eyes over her ass and reminding myself that it didn't matter why she liked me,
it only mattered that she did. She was a grown woman and she had a right to
troll for whoever she wanted to troll for, even under-aged school girls. If I
made her happy, then so be it. Who am I to question her feelings?

When she was finally done packing away all my new clothes, she dusted her hands
together and came over and sat beside me on the bed. She brushed some hair away
from my pale face, and I wondered what she saw. I remembered myself in the
mirror this morning. Dark circles under my eyes, paper-white skin, hollow
cheeks. Lidded eyes. I was still wearing the lace-leather collar she bought me
and I could feel the bite marks stinging softly underneath. She seemed to like
how I looked and she smiled softly.

"Still a little woozy?" she asked caringly.

I nodded slightly. "A little."

"When will your mom be home?"

"Soon."

"Mind if I stick around for a while?"

Her face was very close and suddenly I longed for her kiss. My face heated at
the thought and my eyes flickered over her lips. "Sure."

She smiled. "Wanna fool around a little?"

"Okay," I whispered, and even as I said it, her lips were covering mine.

It was a wonderful kiss. The warmth of her lips slowly spread through me until
my head and all my body was nicely numb. I felt her hand in my hair and
stroking the nape of my neck. I could hear the rain pattering against the
window, and the combination of the kiss and the dizziness made me swoon in her
arms like a maiden in a fable.

She only broke the kiss to urge me to lay down. I did, settling back against
the pillow, blinking, staring up at her, waiting. She settled beside me and
took a moment to play with my hair and stroke it away from my forehead. She
watched my eyes as they fluttered under her touch, and she cupped my cheek and
caressed my face and passed her thumb over my lips. She smiled at me and leaned
down and kissed me softly, her lips so warm and so lovely. My heart was
thumping in my chest like something that wanted out and in those moments it did
seem possible that she might truly love me.

I wasn't sure how long we'd been making out, but I would've gone forever if
that's what she wanted. Her hand had snaked up my top at some point, but she
was mostly just stroking my side, just feeling my skin. The touch made me
tingle all over. One of my own hands was caressing her waist under her top, and
she felt so slim and so slight under my hand, her skin so warm and smooth. I
opened my mouth and allowed her entry, moaning softly whenever I had free air.
I was responding as best I could, lost in the kiss completely, when she slowed
down and stopped.

I knew it was literally impossible to make out forever, but I blinked up at her
questioningly, anyway.

She smiled. "Your mom's home."

My brow puckered. All I could hear was rain, on the window, on the roof. I
didn't hear any car. "I didn't hear anything."

She giggled softly and tapped one of her ears. "Vampire hearing," she said.
"It's more sensitive than yours."

Sure enough, she was right. We were barely disengaged when I heard the front
door open and close, and then footsteps coming up the squeaky stairs. Alice had
grabbed a magazine off my desk and sat cross legged on the bed, flipping
through it. I was wiping my lips with my sleeve and hoping they didn't looked
too kissed.

The bedroom door was open and mom came into the room with her mouth open in
preparation for a maternal flurry of concern, but then she saw Alice and
actually startled slightly, as if she thought Alice might be a burglar or
something.

"Oh," she said. Then she recovered and smiled. "Bella's friend. I didn't
realize you'd be here."

"Well, Bella wasn't feeling well," Alice said, "so I thought I'd keep her
company for a while."

It was a flawless deflect, and the mention of me not feeling well was enough to
swing all of mom's attention on to me. But mom was a good mom, and she seemed
conscious of embarrassing me in front of my new friend. She asked if I was
feeling better, nodded when I said I was, and she even refrained from taking my
temperature. Alice played her part well, adding that I looked much better than
I did last night—probably true, considering—and that she'd been taking really
good care of me. Mom thanked her absently for letting me stay over, forgetting
maybe that she really hadn't been in favor of the idea, and went on to worry
aloud about how pale I looked, how tired, how thin.

She then noticed my choker and raved for a little bit about how cute it looked
on me, much to Alice's delight, and Alice told her where she got it and how
much, and mom talked for a bit about how leather jewelry was really fashionable
in the eighties when she was a girl, and this went on for a while until I
started to mention that I'd better get started on dinner. Both mom and Alice
rushed to tell me not to bother and to take it easy, but I insisted. There was
nothing particularly inedible about mom's cooking, but I did it better, and I
liked cooking, anyway. Alice quickly volunteered to help me, but only if that
was okay with Missus Swan, because she didn't want to be a bother. Mom seemed
slightly reluctant to trust Alice in the house after dark without a background
check from Interpol, but she said it would be okay, and Alice even ended up
staying for dinner, too.

Since I was supposed to be recovering from food poisoning, we kept dinner
simple; plain pasta with a pesto sauce and fresh salad on the side. We made
chitchat while we cooked, or Alice did. I wasn't very talkative, but I loved to
hear her voice, and it didn't really matter what she was talking about. While I
was chopping the salad, she informed me that a tomato is actually a fruit, not
a vegetable, and then she burst out laughing when I pretended to be fascinated.
I smiled, and she checked over both her shoulders for any sign of my mom and
then kissed me quickly. It almost felt like a date.

Until we sat down to eat, that is. Me and mom didn't often have company,
especially not friends of mine. Mom hadn't had a date in a long time, but
sometimes she had girls from the salon over. I never had friend's over. Lauren
used to come over sometimes, back when we were really young—Lauren and a couple
others—but not anymore, for obvious reasons.

Still, it would've been impolite to tell mom to eat in her room, and she was
too guarded over her daughter to let me eat alone with Alice. We made a trio at
the kitchen table, and mom subtly demanded a complete report on all our
activities yesterday by pretending to be enthusiastically interested. I left it
to Alice, and Alice lied her way through so convincingly that even I believed
her. Mom nodded, and commented, and admonished her for spending money on me,
but Alice assured her it was no big deal; she was rich.

They were getting along okay, but by now I was beginning to notice a slight
chill in mom's niceness. She hadn't really approved of our day out yesterday or
the sleepover, and with the fabricated food poisoning on top, she seemed
prepared to blame Alice for all the ills that had befallen be. She was right,
of course, but for the wrong reasons. I could've explained why exactly she was
wrong, but I doubted it would help. If she knew that Alice was not only my
sexually-active girlfriend but also a legitimate blood-sucking vampire, she
might mistakenly believe she was a bad influence.

It was beginning to storm outside, and mom glanced at the window anxiously with
each rumble of thunder. Before we were even finished eating she was hinting
that Alice might want to get an early start home, before it gets really bad out
there, but Alice was confident in her skills as a driver and in her Volvo. I
was tempted to suggest that maybe Alice could stay over, but mom seemed
inconvenienced enough already.

When we were finished me and mom jostled over who gets to clear away the plates
until mom ordered me to sit down. I didn't have the strength to argue, and
house chores weren't likely to impress Alice, anyway.

Mom put the dishes in the sink and turned back to me with concern, watching my
pale face anxiously. "You know, you look very tired, Bella," she said. "I think
you should go straight to bed and get some rest. Are you feeling okay?"

I frowned. It was only eight o'clock and I'm not some invalid. Especially not
in front of Alice. "I'm fine, mom," I said firmly.

But Alice was looking at me with a very similar expression, and she said: "You
know, maybe your mom's right, Bella. You should probably get some sleep."

Well, now that she mentioned it, I guess I did feel a little tired. It was nice
that Alice had noticed. She must really care about me. "Yeah," I said, nodding
at Alice's sympathetic expression. "Maybe your right."

Mom cleared her throat loudly. "Maybe she's right? I suggested it first, ya
know."

I sighed. "I know, mom."

Mom shook her head and turned to Alice. "Have you ever noticed how teenagers
never listen to their parents and always automatically listen to their
friends?"

Alice was polite and respectful. "Well, if it's any consolation, Ms Swan," she
said, "I always listen to my mom."

Mom nodded. "Well, that's good, you're a good girl." She looked at the clock
and pretended to be surprised. "Gee, is that the time? Your mother must be
getting worried about you. And I think the storm's getting worse."

She looked at the window as if any moment a twister might spawn in the
backyard. It wasn't a very subtle hint, but at least she didn't tell Alice to
outright fuck off. Alice gave me a smiling glance and rose to her feet
obligingly.

"Yeah," she said. "I should probably get going."

I rose too. "I'll walk you to your car."

Mom stepped forward anxiously. "Bella, I don't think you should go outside,
it's raining."

I frowned. "I'm fine, mom."

But Alice had also stepped forward anxiously. "I think your mom's right, Bella.
You should probably get to bed."

I sighed and decided Alice was right. "Yeah, I guess."

Mom huffed at once again being passed over for a friend, and then she led the
way toward the front door. "Come with me, sweetie," she said to Alice, "I'll
get the door for you."

Alice watched her leave the kitchen and then she wrapped me into a hug. My
heart felt like it was breaking to say goodbye, but I guess it was inevitable.
I'd been lucky, really. All day with Alice, hanging out with her sisters,
making out on my bed. Wooziness aside, it was pretty awesome.

So I hugged her and braced for the inevitable parting. I could always cry
myself to sleep later, but for now I just wanted to enjoy these last precious
few seconds with Alice.

But Alice must've had other ideas.

"I'll be waiting for you upstairs," she whispered in my ear, and then she
released me, winked, and hurried to catch up with mom.

I smiled and watched her go. I was so delighted that I forgot to even glance at
her ass.

By the time mom got back I'd started doing the dishes. I generally did them
most nights, and the plan was to get them done quickly and race up to my room.
I had no idea how Alice intended to get up there with the window closed and a
storm outside, but she was a crafty chick and I knew she'd manage.

"Bella, what are you doing?" mom demanded kindly, snatching a soapy plate out
of my hand.

"Just washing the plates."

"No, no, no, I want you to get to bed right now. You've missed too much school
these last couple weeks. You need some sleep."

I sighed and relinquished the sink. Maybe Alice would already be there waiting.
"Alright, mom."

Mom watched me dry my hands with a sympathetic expression. "It's a shame about
that food poisoning," she said. "But at least it didn't spoil your day
yesterday. You know, I'm glad you've made such a nice friend, Bella."

I smiled. Now that Alice was out of her hair she seemed to like her better. "Me
too."

"You really like her, don't you?"

It wasn't the first time she asked me that, and it wasn't the first time I got
the impression she was suspicious. She'd been observing us through dinner, and
I think I might've been fawning a little too much. She probably wasn't
suspicious of Alice—too pretty to be a lesbian and all—but she definitely
seemed to think something was up with me.

But I wasn't ready for this conversation, not now, so I shrugged. "Well, she's
my labpartner, so…"

She nodded, as if that made sense. "Whatever happened to that Lauren girl you
used to talk about all the time?" she asked. "You two used to be pretty close."

Another conversation I didn't need. "We weren't that close," I said, which was
true. Sometimes it had felt like we were close, but we weren't. It was an
illusion, a hopeless crush. "Besides, we're not really friends any more."

"How come?"

Because I'm gay and she's a homophobic psycho. I couldn't really explain it to
mom, so I just shrugged again. "I don't know," I said. "Different grade,
different classes. You know."

She nodded, sensing I didn't want to talk about it. "Well, it's nice you're
making new friends," she said with smile. "I guess all you need now's a
boyfriend, huh?"

I snorted. I've never had any interest in boys, and in recent years I've
actually come to dislike them. I don't hate them as much as calculus, perhaps,
but most of them seem like jerks from what I've seen.

Mom smiled and tried to get a rise out of me. "How come you never talk about
boys, Bella?" she teased. "You're not shy, are you?"

Sure. Shy, gay, introverted, apathetic, border-line suicidal on certain days.
But mom wasn't aware of any of my mental issues. She thought I was mostly well-
adjusted, so I couldn't explain any of that either. "Nah," I said. "I'm just
tired."

Mom nodded and realized she was keeping me from my much needed rest. "Well, you
get to bed and I'll finish up here. Sleep well, sweetie."

I kissed her on the cheek. "You too, mom."

I felt guilty for lying about everything, but I was over it by the time I got
upstairs. It wasn't the time for all that, and you can't apply traditional
standards to a vampire relationship. So what if I spent all day yesterday
having sex in semi-public areas. Mom wouldn't understand how awesome that is.

The first thing I did was pop my head into my bedroom to check if Alice was
there yet. I'm pretty sure I'd left the door open and now it was closed, so
maybe she was. I checked back down the hall for mom, just in case, but I could
hear the dishes clattering downstairs, so I opened the door, and—

Alice was there.

On my bed.

Naked.

My throat constricted and I hurried in, closing the door behind me. She was
laying on her side, propped on an elbow to create a glorious valley of curves
that dipped into her waist and rose over her hip, her body pure white and
smooth-looking. She rubbed her thighs together suggestively and smirked at me
boldly.

"About time you got here," she said. "I almost started without you."

For some reason I was trying to tear my eyes away, as if I'd stumbled into the
wrong room by accident. I managed to gulp away whatever was blocking my throat,
and the first thing I said was: "O-oh."

She giggled, one hand resting on her hip. "Are you surprised?"

I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath. "Yeah," I said in a gasp,
grinning and still trying to look away from her. "Yeah, I'm surprised."

She giggled again. "You know, your bed smells wonderful. I never mentioned this
before, but you have intoxicating pheromones, far lovelier than average."

I didn't know what to say about that, but it confirmed my suspicions that maybe
it was just my blood or my scent that drew her to me. I opened my mouth to
speak, but nothing came to me. I was light head and I hadn't been expecting
this, although maybe I should've. Alice herself had told me that sex was one of
her highest priorities in life.

She smiled at my gaping expression, and then she swung her legs over the side
of the bed and grabbed up my pillow. She rose with it, sniffed at it
deliberately so I could see, and then she held it against the front of her body
in a coy attempt to cover herself. She smiled at me and swayed on the spot
bashfully.

"It's an exciting scent," she told me in her little whisper. "It made me want
to surprise you."

I smiled awkwardly. "You've been sniffing my pillow?"

She put on a mock hurt expression. "Hey, you said I was allowed to be creepy,"
she pouted. And then, keeping her eyes on mine boldly, she raised the pillow
and sniffed it again defiantly. "Do you mind?"

I swallowed and half-chuckled. "Knock yourself out," I said. "Um, listen, I
gotta use the bathroom. I'll be back in a minute, okay?"

She gave me a sultry smile. "I'll count the seconds."

I gulped again, and stumbled out of the room, closing the door behind me.

And for a second I just stood there frozen in the hall, trying to wrap my head
around what was waiting for me in my room. Naked Alice, obviously, but what
else? Sex? I mean, seriously? So soon after last night? I'm sure she was
planning to be as gentle as possible in deference to my weakened condition, but
to be absolutely honest I could think of things I'd rather do than put out.
Like cuddling, for instance, or maybe a little making out. Something that
didn't involve, you know; an orgasm. Because frankly? It seems like a lot of
work when a little petting would be just as nice.

I trudged down the hallway in a mild fret of anxiety, entering the bathroom and
flipping on the light. I felt a complex series of emotions as I went about my
nightly routine, but sadly none of them were horniness. I brushed my teeth,
shaking my head, my stomach turning. I spat and spat again. My mouth was minty
and very dry, but still; no horniness. Well, maybe a little, but there was
something else, too, something heavy in my chest. Fear? Maybe a little
frustration? Maybe, but I couldn't be upset at Alice. Objectively speaking, it
was an awesome surprise, and it really wasn't her fault that the mood was
failing me. It was nothing she'd done. After last night it would be perfectly
logical to assume I'd be up for anything, and really it was very sweet of her
to surprise me like this.

Although, the pillow sniffing was kind of creepy. Was that all she liked about
me, my scent and my willingness to put out with both my body and my blood?

No, no, I'm being unfair. Alice wasn't like that. How many times had she
refused both things from me in the past? It had been me who had attacked her on
our first date when she'd been so determined to take it slow. It had been me
who kept telling her to bite me, despite all the warnings and opportunities to
back out.

And now she was waiting for me in my room. Naked. Was this the impression I'd
given her? That I wanted nothing but sex? Because that's not what I wanted at
all. I just wanted to be near her, that's all. I wanted, you know.
Companionship. And stuff. Either way, maybe after tonight it would be best to
slow things down a little. It was really cool just hanging out with her today,
and I'd love it if we could be like that for a while. Just hanging and making
out like an ordinary couple. Was it fun for her too?

I sighed and put away the toothpaste. I'd been dawdling too long, and Alice
might be getting worried. Or impatient. As I closed the medicine cabinet I half
expected her to appear in the mirror and attack me like a stalker, but she
didn't. It was just me, pale and thin, the black leather-lace collar around my
neck. I touched it gently and felt the bitemarks underneath. Part of me felt
like the luckiest girl in the world, but part of me felt like things might
really be a little more complicated than they seemed. I sighed and dropped my
hand, and then I was trudging back to my room.

When I opened the door I found Alice standing at my open dresser and sniffing
my clothes—still naked.

I gave her an awkward grin. "Er, can I help you find something, or…?"

She smirked. "What? It's only a top. It's not anything…unmentionable."

I went over, took the top out of her hands, and stuffed it back into the
drawer. "Alice, I said you're allowed to be a little creepy," I told her. "I
didn't say you can just go ahead and stalk me."

"You're right, I'm sorry."

I smiled, and I suppose I couldn't judge. This very morning I'd not only
sniffed her pillow, but also rifled through a box of her personal sex
toys—which was even worse. Alice not only had the courtesy to confine herself
to outer clothes, but she even had the decency to let me catch her. Besides,
stalking's only bad when you don't like the person, and I really like Alice.

I closed the drawer softly. "It's alright."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her front into me. "Am
I still allowed to stay tonight?"

Poor girl. She's trying so hard to be cute and skanky, but I don't want nympho
Alice right now; I want BFF Alice.

But more than anything I wanted her to stay, so I nodded at her smiling face,
and smiled back. "You can stay."

Alice smiled and pulled me into a kiss. My eyes fell shut sleepily and I
thought: oh, what the hell?

I grabbed her ass.

She made a little squeal in response and pressed me into the dresser with her
naked front. She broke the kiss and giggled. "We'd better get you out of these
clothes, hm?"

"I guess."

She'd taken the hem of my top in her hands, preparing to pull it over my head,
but she paused at my listless tone. She cocked her head. "You guess? You don't
sound very excited."

I chuckled to set her at ease. "I'm just a little tired."

She made a cooing sound. "Aw, poor Bella. Well, don't worry, we'll get you into
bed right away, and I'll be very gentle, I promise."

I smiled, loving her tone. It was practically lulling me to sleep on my feet.
"Okay," I whispered.

But again she paused, cocking her head to peer into my face. "Hey, are you
alright, baby? You know, if you don't feel like it, we don't have to. I just
thought it would be nice, that's all."

I looked at her with surprise. Did she just offer me a guilt free way out?

My heart melted at her consideration. How could I ever have assumed she liked
me for nothing but sex? There was obviously so much more to her. She only
wanted to make me happy, that's all.

And, naturally, her respect for my feelings was enough to spark an ember of
hornyness inside me.

"Don't be silly," I said, and meaning it. "Of course I want to."

She smiled at my expression. "Bella, it's fine if you don't feel like it. I
don't want to force you into anything."

I recalled that her mother had said something similar this morning. Something
about setting boundaries and not letting her force me into anything I wasn't
ready for. Well, I'm sure the woman meant well, but I think I'm perfectly
capable of deciding what I'm ready for and what I'm not ready for, and right
now I was ready for Alice. Besides, I wouldn't be able to respect myself as a
teenager if I actually went around following adult's advice.

"It's fine, Alice," I said, and then I kissed her and whispered into her lips:
"I want to."

I rarely instigated kisses between us, and it gave me a thrill to do it now.
Part of me still found it hard to believe that a girl like her would let me
kiss her—and naked too. Alice was too hot for boundaries, plain and simple.

The kiss was only broken once so she could get my top off, and then she helped
me with my pants and underwear, and finally she flipped off the light, cloaking
us in darkness, and we climbed into the bed.

I almost fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow—so tired—but I didn't
want to give the wrong impression. Alice did me first, the dear, and I enjoyed
it far more than I would've expected. As promised, she was very gentle, and as
a bonus she was also very thorough. She spent a long time kissing and petting
me, making me moan quietly in the dark as she played my body like a fiddle, and
once the honey had started to flow, she slipped under the covers, settled
between my legs, spread my pussy open with her thumbs, and started licking.

Long hard licks that pressed her tongue flat against my entrance. Repetitiously
and without relent. It was maddening. I was breathing deeply and erratically,
groaning and twitching from the marvelous technique of her tongue, and it was
rapidly becoming difficult to believe that I'd ever not been in the mood.

The orgasm was slow to build, but powerful, and when it came I had to bite down
on my hand to keep from crying out. Alice then curled up beside me, and before
I'd even recovered she was rubbing her entrance against my leg, and kissing me,
and touching me, and I wrapped my arms around her and held her till she came.

By the time it was over I was so tired that I couldn't sleep. Alice helped me
put some clothes on, but she remained naked, and then she curled up beside me
under the covers. I could feel her warm weight spread against my side and I
heard her sniff my hair delicately. The movement made me open my eyes in the
dark, but I didn't move away. It made me wonder, though. It was nice that my
scent was so attractive to her, but kind of superficial, too. Then again, I
suppose it's unrealistic to expect her to like me for my personality when I
didn't even like myself.

The bout of insecurity reminded me of how I'd felt back at her house, when her
sisters had come home. The tall blonde. I remembered how she'd looked at me,
with such cold distain. And there was nothing petty in her eyes, either,
nothing childish. Just the cold clarity of an ageless vampire who was looking
at someone who was truly unfit for her sister.

It had been such a mean look that even now I felt like crying a little, but
didn't. I did feel the need for some reassurance, however, so I decided to try
and get Alice to talk. She was stroking my hair idly and if I'm a good girl
maybe she'll tell me she loves me again.

I swallowed so my voice would come out steady. "Hey, Alice?"

"Mm?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

I hesitated, wondering how to phrase it. Then I just blurted it out. "Why was
your sister so pissed to see me this afternoon?"

I heard her smile, the same way I could hear it on the phone. A half-giggle, so
soft it's almost inaudible. "You mean Rosalie?" she asked.

I frowned. "Yeah."

She giggled quietly. "Oh, Bella," she said. "I hate to tell you this,
but…Rosalie doesn't like you."

I'd figured that much. "Why?"

Alice wrapped her arms around me and I felt her body shrug. "Well, I suppose
it's jealousy, mostly. She doesn't like that I've been spending so much time
with you. And ignoring her. Jane's been kind of jealous, too, but it's
different for Rose. I think she has feelings for me, although she'd never admit
it."

It mystified me that the cold blonde could actually have feelings, and it
outright bewildered me that Alice wouldn't return them. Has she seen how hot
that chick is? "You never liked her back?" I asked quietly, hardly believing it
was possible.

"I like her plenty," Alice whispered, and then she gave me an affectionate
squeeze. "But not as much as I like you."

It was suppose to reassure me, but it didn't. I wanted to believe her, but I
couldn't. I just couldn't. I was emotional from the sex, and I was still
reeling from everything that happened last night, and I really just didn't
believe her. "Why?" I croaked.

She seemed to sense something in my voice, and her own voice went very gentle.
"Why what, baby?"

"Why do you like me? I don't get it."

"Bella," she admonished playfully. "Don't be silly."

I tensed up slightly and blinked back tears. "No, really," I said. "Is it my
blood? Is it pity? Or are you just stupid?"

My voice broke slightly on the last word, and I felt like shooting myself as
soon as I'd said it. Did I just accuse my ultra-perfect girlfriend of being
stupid for likening me?

My mind totally stopped from mortification. I could hardly believe I'd said it,
but it had been bubbling under the surface all day, and it just slipped out.
But how could I say such a thing? After everything she's done for me, and after
all the nice things she's said to me, and after all the hugs and all the kisses
and all the sex, after all that, how could I possibly say something like that
to her?

Alice was ominously silent and I was terrified I'd upset her. My lip trembled
and I whispered: "Sorry."

"It's okay," she whispered back. Her voice was thoughtful, but there was no
anger or annoyance. "I understand. Maybe Esme was right. Maybe last night was
too much, too soon."

"No, I just…"

"Shh, shh, shh," she whispered, cuddling me closer. She resumed stroking my
hair. "It's okay, come here."

I let her cuddle me, my body relaxing. I was relieved she wasn't upset and I
still couldn't believe I'd said something so stupid.

"Do you really want to know why I like you, Bella?" she whispered.

"Yes."

She kissed my cheek softly and then she was whispering into my ear. "Then I'll
tell you," she said. "I like you because you're always so happy to see me. I
like how you blush when I smile at you. I like how you stare at me when you
think I don't notice. In short, my dear, I like you because you like me. I'm a
simple woman. I require little from a lover other than her whole entire
heart—something which you've offered up quite eagerly."

Amazingly, I did feel a little better, even though I still didn't really
understand. Hasn't there been any other girls who liked her? I couldn't be the
only one. "Oh," I murmured.

She giggled softly. "Sensible enough, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yeah," I whispered. "I guess that makes sense."

"Of course it does. So don't let Rose bother you, okay? I've told you before
that our relationship isn't something we can control. Take comfort in that. Let
go of all doubt and insecurity, and remember that regardless of anything that
happens, we will be together. You will empty your heart into mine, and I will
empty my heart into yours, little by little, and thus we will be eternally
mated—all in the fullness of time. Love that begets love into an infinity of
reciprocity until the end of our lives. Doesn't that sound nice?"

I smiled, lulled by her words. "Yeah," I said. "But I still don't get why you
like me."

She giggled and squeezed me playfully. "Oh, Bella."

"No, really," I said, but I was only curious this time. "Is there any other
reason? Or is it just this destiny stuff?"

She sighed and stroked my hair. I closed my eyes and relaxed.

"Well," she said, "there's a variety of superficial reasons, of course—such as
your lovely hair, or the shade of your eyes—but you have to remember that we've
only been dating for a week. Ask me again why I love you after you've stood by
me and supported me and held me through a hundred dark nights in the warm
embrace of your love. I'll have a more definite answer for you then."

"Sorry," I said sheepishly. "I must sound like such an idiot."

"Not at all," she assured me. "In fact, it's probably me who's the idiot.
Sometimes I get carried away with my talk about destiny. I didn't mean to imply
that I expect our relationship to solidify overnight. I only meant to imply
that it's inevitable. That one day…"

She let it trail off, and I was beginning to understand. We weren't supposed to
be magically married over night. We were supposed to be just like this. Just
together. "Yeah," I whispered. "I get it."

"And listen, don't worry about Rosalie, okay? I love her like a sister, but
she's self-centered and unreasonable. She just wants everybody to be as
miserable as she is. She's a bitch, really."

I chuckled. "Okay."

"Good. Do you want to go to sleep now?"

I nodded on the pillow, already feeling sleep wash over me. We were facing each
other on the same pillow, our bodies so close, and I could feel her watching my
face. I realized that vampire's must be able to see in the dark, but I was too
sleepy to ask for details.

"Okay," she whispered. "Hey, want me to drive you to school tomorrow?"

I smiled. "Sure."

"Great," she giggled. "Now that I've fed I'll be able to spend much more time
with you. You'll see. You're gonna get so sick of me."

I chuckled sleepily. She seemed to be getting a little bubbly. Maybe our talk
had made her nervous? "I doubt that," I told her, and it was absolutely true.
I'd never get sick of Alice. I'd known her for two weeks and two dates and I
couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else. But maybe that was just
because I couldn't imagine anyone hotter.

"I hope so," she giggled. "But you should get some sleep. Do you mind if I stay
for a while?"

"No," I whispered. "I don't mind."

"Thanks. I love watching you sleep. So beautiful and helpless. Vampire's dig
vulnerability."

I gave another sleepy chuckle. "Creepy, Alice."

She giggled. "Sorry, I'll shut up. Sweet dreams, Bella."

"You too, Alice."

"Yes, me too," she said. Then she giggled and added: "Hey, aren't you going to
tell me you love me? We might as well get used to it now."

I opened my eyes a crack. Her pale face was right there on the pillow, glowing
like a cute little moon. I smiled and placed a quick kiss on her lips.

"I love you."

She giggled. "Good," she said. "I love you, too. Now go to sleep. I'll be gone
when you wake up, but I'll be here to pick you up for school. Is eight o'clock
okay?"

"Yeah. That's great.

"Okay. G'night, Bella."

"Yeah. Night, Alice."

I was almost asleep, but I smiled as I felt her lips kiss my brow gently. Her
body was warm and one of her legs was nestled between mine. She snuggled as
close as she could, and she was stroking my hair again and she was still
stroking my hair as I finally fell asleep, slipping softly into a dreamworld
where Alice was still there, still stroking my hair, and where she really and
truly did love me.

—

***** Chapter 7 *****
—

Chapter 7:

—

I slept all the way until my alarm went off in the morning and for a few
seconds as I lay there waking up I actually felt much better. I was rested and
well-sexed, my dreams were nice, and most importantly I had a lovely girlfriend
who would be here in only one hour to pick me up for—

School.

Shit.

I could feel my good mood leak away like blood from a wound as reality began to
assert itself; school. Math, bullies, and cafeteria food—and now with the added
bonus of hostile estrangement from the closest things I had to friends.
Obviously I couldn't go near Lauren anymore. Last Friday's trauma was still
fresh in my head, and I wasn't really masochistic enough to desire an encore of
her homophobic meltdown. It had been a fine performance of blonde meanness, of
course, but such routines really require a detached audience to appreciate them
properly. To me, had it seemed trifle hurtful, but then again, I've never been
a fan of live theater. I'm more a DVD with headphones kind of girl.

What was Lauren's problem, anyway? I remembered what Alice had said in the
library last week, that Lauren was mean to me because she was secretly
attracted to me or something, but I found that extremely hard to believe.
Alice's attraction to me was inexplicable enough, but to think someone like
Lauren might like me? No way. She was into the athletic jock-types, and I'm
about as removed from a jock as humanly possible. I've never actually tried to
complete a push up, but I wouldn't bet money on myself, and I couldn't even
catch a dodgeball, let alone a fifty yard pass. The only thing even remotely
jock-like about me was my semi-butch sense of fashion, and Lauren had already
expressed her disgust on that subject many times.

So why was Alice convinced that there might be a little denial brooding behind
those mean blue eyes? She'd never really explained why she thought so, and
she'd never mentioned it again since Friday afternoon, so all I could do was
guess. Was it some kind of vampire intuition? Alice wasn't an idiot—but neither
was Lauren, come to think of it. Lauren had never really fit the profile of a
mindless bully. She was pretty and popular, she had good grades, she was a
cheerleader. She isn't even that mean to most people. It's just me she likes to
torment, really.

I thought about it for a while and I realized that maybe it does make a little
sense. But only a little. Latent homosexuality would explain both her rage and
her fixation on the school lesbian, but it was still kind of flimsy. There's
plenty of other possibilities. Maybe she has some blonde prejudice against dark
hair.

But then again, who cares? She's still a bitch. Human behaviorism is all very
fascinating, but it doesn't change the fact that the girl is rapidly becoming
the devil of this living hell called My Life. Who cares if she's in denial? A
little self-torment never killed anyone—well, not directly.

In any case, I was done thinking about it. Time to get up and begin stumbling
through another week-long gantlet of school.

It took over fifteen minutes, and mom had to call me twice, but eventually I
managed to struggle out of bed, and even more impressively, I resisted the urge
to hang myself in the closet. I didn't have time to compose a proper suicide
note, and self-destruction did seem like an overreaction to a Tuesday morning.
Besides, life will be worth living again as soon as Alice gets here.

I showered and put on some clothes. I didn't fuss too much about my outfit, and
soon I was trudging downstairs in my standard uniform; brown pants, black
hoody. I felt a little bad about not wearing any of the stuff that Alice had
bought for me over the weekend, but she'd understand. I didn't mind wearing
nice things for Alice, but at school I'd rather stay below radar.

Mom was in full mother-hen mode over breakfast, still fretting over the recent
food poisoning scare. She asked me how I'm feeling, fixed me plain toast to
settle my stomach, warmed me a cup of milk, asked me how I'm feeling, offered
me weak tea and maybe a fat-free cookie, and then she broke the pattern and
asked me how I'm feeling all over again. I told her I was fine, and I really
was. I was still a little tired, but that was no big deal. I've been
permanently tired since middle school, back when it first became obvious that
sleeping is actually much easier than living.

Before she left for work, she offered to drive me to school since I still
didn't look so good. I refrained from mentioning that I rarely look any good
and told her, as casually as possible, that Alice would be picking me up.
Naturally, this gave my mother pause. She remarked that it was nice that I had
such a nice friend, although maybe a little strange too. After all, first she's
buying me stuff, then she's driving me to school. How long have I even known
her, anyway?

She had a few solid points, but I knew what she didn't: Alice was hot. Did it
matter how long I'd known her? Who wouldn't trust someone with such a nice ass?

Unfortunately, mom wasn't likely to see the character merits in my girlfriend's
ass even if I had the vocabulary to explain it, so I told her that Alice was
just friendly. Mom seemed to accept this, and she concluded by telling me to be
careful around her because even though she seems like a nice girl you never
know if she might be a Columbian drug-lord or an axe murderer. I assured mom
that I was perfectly capable of choosing my friends in a mature and rational
manner while avoiding both bad influences and suspicious pills passed around at
parties, and finally she left for work.

I finished my breakfast quickly so I could wait for Alice by the window, and
while I waited I wondered why mom seemed so wary of her. Was she just paranoid?
Or was it really so suspicious that someone as pretty as Alice would hang
around me without an ulterior motive such as harvesting my organs for black
market sale? Come to think of it, mom had never really encouraged me to be
outgoing. Even when I was a kid she didn't like me to hang out with other kids.
She always wanted me straight home where she could keep an eye on me. I didn't
want to resort to blaming my insecurities on other people, but it occurred to
me that maybe if mom hadn't been so overprotective all my life I might be a
little more confident. Then again, I'm not sure how confidence would improve my
quality of life. There seems to be little difference between a confident loser
and an modest one.

I didn't have time for deeper reflections, anyway, because that's when Alice
pulled up. I grinned and practically ran to open the door. She was still a
couple steps away, and she smiled to see me, closing the distance and wrapping
me into a hug. It was exactly what I needed on such a cold and dreary morning
and I realized, yes; life is worth living.

Life got even better within the next few minutes.

"Hey, baby," she said, releasing me and peeking around my shoulder into the
house. "Is it okay to kiss you?"

I nodded happily. "Yeah, mom's already left for work."

She smirked innocently. "So you're all alone?"

Something in her tone made me blush. "Yeah. Why?"

She went all coy. "Well, I don't know," she said. "Want me to go down on you?"

My heart skipped a beat. "Excuse me?"

She giggled and pushed me inside. "Quick, close the door."

—

We ended up being late for school, and I was mildly worried about what to tell
the teacher because I was pretty sure that being eaten out on the staircase
wasn't a valid excuse for tardiness. It seemed perfectly valid to me, of
course, but it's kind of private, and teachers can be so stupid, anyway.

Alice pulled up in the school parking lot. It was absolutely empty, but we were
late enough already without taking advantage of the privacy.

I sighed, staring out the windshield at the drab front building. "I wish we
didn't have to go to school," I said.

Alice giggled. "Well, education's important. Besides, school can be kind of
fun."

I gave her a skeptical glance. Did my perfect girlfriend just say that
education's important and school can be fun? I know she's an adult, deep down,
but since when does she act like it?

"It can?" I questioned.

"Sure," she said with enthusiasm. "You know me and Jane finally got on the
cheersquad last week. We've got practice after school today. Wanna come watch?"

I paled. "You're a cheerleader?"

I had complex opinions concerning cheerleaders. Part of me hated them and
everything they stood for, but it was a spiteful hate based mostly on
prejudice, and the more mature part of my mind was always there to remind me
that cheerleaders are real people with real feelings—and short skirts. They
tend to be very hot, too, and even though my own personal nemesis was a
cheerleader, I couldn't help liking them in a very private fashion—like when
I'm in the shower sometimes.

Outwardly, however, I preferred to maintain an appearance of hate. It felt more
suitable, since most of them hate me, too, and really; cheerleading does seem
like a fairly ridiculous thing to do. No matter how cute the uniforms are it's
difficult to make excuses for the sort of behavior that involves pompoms and
dopey chanting. Similar behavior in a less attractive female would get her sent
straight to a mental hospital.

And now Alice would be joining these illustrious ranks. I didn't know whether
to be turned on, or just completely betrayed, but in the end I settled on numb
shock.

I mean, cheerleading?

Alice giggled at my reaction and smirked. "Is that a problem?"

I stammered for something to say. "Well, no, but…"

Alice giggled again, and opened the car door. "Come on," she said, grabbing her
satchel. "We're gonna be late."

I shook off my astonishment and stumbled after her, dazed and still with only
one thought in my head:

Cheerleader?

Alice walked me to my locker and then to my first class. She kissed me where no
one could see and I stood and watched her leave until she'd turned the corner.
I sighed and felt an insane urge to run after her and wrap her in a hug and
just hold her forever, but I was learning that one of the sad things about
having a girlfriend is that it's not really possible to physically cling to her
for the rest of your life. Oh well. Life's full of compromise, and when you
can't have what you want, I guess it's best to just go to class.

But even that wasn't as simple as it seemed. I hesitated out side the classroom
for quite a while, feeling a truly irrational amount of anxiety. I was dressed
as cheaply as I always was, but now I had the added accent of the black choker
around my neck. Alice hadn't been kidding when she said it was ostentatious; I
looked like a goth on a budget. It was probably even worse than the bite marks
themselves. Deep down I knew that the opinions of my classmates could never
have any true impact on my life, but it really didn't seem that way sometimes,
and it took me at least thirty seconds before I'd mustered up the courage to
actually enter the classroom.

The first person I noticed as I walked in was Lauren. She was sitting near the
back and our eyes met for just a second as she looked up. We looked away at the
exact same time and I was appalled at my heart skipped a beat. It truly is
tragic for a girl to crush on her archenemy.

I made my excuses privately to the teacher and blamed the whole thing on Alice.
I said that Alice was supposed to give me a ride and Alice was late, and it
wasn't really a lie since technically it was Alice's fault—not that I'm
complaining. It had been one of the best Tuesday mornings of my life, all
things considered.

I took a seat near the front next to two girls who were friendly enough not to
shoot me on sight, and I waited out the rest of the class with grim patience. I
was painfully self-conscious in my black leather collar, but no one pointed and
laughed, and I got over it sooner than I would've thought.

Chief among my anxieties that morning was an inevitable encounter with Lauren,
but it didn't happen during that class, or the next one. Our last meeting
hadn't been pleasant, and I doubted our next one would be. I wondered if she
felt bad about anything she'd said to me that day or if she was a soulless as
she seemed. I knew an apology was too much to ask for, but if I was lucky maybe
she'd be remorseful enough to leave me alone. It was a shame, really. She'd
been the closest thing I had to a friend, but she'd changed these last couple
weeks. Could she really be jealous of Alice?

It was a scary thought, and I tried not to think about it. I avoided her as
best I could, but I had math before lunch, and math had used to be one of my
favorite classes. Not because the subject matter—I hated math itself—but
because it was the only class that me and Lauren had together, by ourselves.
She was usually pretty cool when she didn't have a bunch of friends to impress,
and as I walked in and saw Lauren sitting by herself in the corner, I made the
snap decision to try and sit next to her. I'd been determined to avoid her, but
it occurred to me on the spot that maybe she really did feel bad about how she
treated me and maybe she was just too proud to admit it. And maybe if I went
over and pretended like nothing happened we could go back to being almost
friends.

So I took a deep breath and went over. I even smiled shyly. "Hey," I said.

It was just one syllable, and my voice didn't seem offensive, so I was really
kind of surprised by the look she gave me. It reminded me of Alice's sister
Rosalie; blonde venom. Lauren wasn't quite capable of the same coldness, but it
was an impressive amount of distain, nonetheless. Her blue eyes narrowed and
she said: "Get the fuck away from me."

Well.

It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did, but for some reason I wasn't
expecting it. I rose from the chair and stepped back. But something stopped me
from fleeing like a whipped puppy. She had turned back to the desk and for a
second I stood there glaring down at the back of her head with dull resentment.
Why had I even bothered? Things had obviously disintegrated to the point where
civilized conversation wasn't even possible. What made me think we could go
back to being friends?

And why did I even want to? I had tricked myself into thinking it was the
mature thing to do, to offer an olive branch, wave a white flag, spread the
gospel of peace and friendship, but in reality it was an act of stupidity and
low self-respect. She didn't deserve forgiveness; she deserved to be stapled to
the wall.

It occurred to me in that moment that Lauren was a total bitch. It also
occurred to me that I'd love to tell her this. And before I could stop myself I
found myself saying it out loud. My mouth was dry, but it opened, and very
clearly I said:

"You're a real fucking bitch, Lauren."

She didn't turn or look up. Her shoulders tensed but other than that she didn't
give any indication that she'd heard. She simply froze.

It was nothing compared to some of the things she'd called me over the years,
but the tone of my voice made up for the lack of creativity. It sounded like I
really meant it, and I did. It was a very big deal for me, and adrenaline was
coursing through my body, making me even bolder. I snorted at the back of her
blonde head. "Dumb whore," I muttered, and then I turned and went and sat on
the other side of the classroom.

The adrenaline wore off pretty quick, and I spent the rest of the class fearing
for my life. Lauren didn't have a reputation for stabbing people after school,
but the girl hadn't seemed awfully stable lately, and you see similar incidents
on Yahoo headlines all the time. Or maybe if I'm lucky she'll just get her
linebacker boyfriend to do a touchdown with my head. Standing up to a bully is
never a good idea in real life. It's a shallow victory and it's really not
worth the stress.

But I felt better at lunch time when I was finally reunited with Alice. We had
lunch together at a table by ourselves, sitting side by side, and it was the
first time in memory that I'd passed a whole lunch period without anybody
saying anything mean to me. It's true that good companionship had make food
taste better, because even the sandwich tasted good. Alice took the opportunity
to remind me about cheer practice this afternoon, and even though I was
reluctant to place myself within shooting distance of Lauren and her boyfriend,
I promised her I'd be there.

Cheer practice was held on what passed for a football field at Forks High;
patchy grass, puddles of mud, no bleachers. There was a bench that ran along
the perimeter and not even all of it was sheltered. It wasn't the kind of
stadium that would fill a team with a proud sense of tradition, but the
football team seemed to make do. They were mid-practice, too. Running laps or
doing complicated exercises involving shouting, pointing, and throwing weirdly
shaped balls. I'm sure it was all very impressive, but it looked pretty dumb to
me.

The cheersquad was in their own little corner and I was sitting nearby on the
bench. The weather was fairly clear so I didn't feel compelled to wear my
backpack over my head. The field was across the street from the school and I'd
bumped into Angela along the way. She wasn't a cheerleader, but her boyfriend
was on the team, and sometimes she pretended to watch practice while doing
homework. She asked me what I was doing there and I had to admit a similar
motive. She teased me about being my girlfriend's pet, and I thought it would
be funny if she really knew. Still, it wasn't mean teasing, and just to prove
what an angel she is, she let me sit next to her with barely any awkwardness at
all.

More interestingly, Leah was there, too. Not cheerleading, watching. She sat on
the bench by herself a small distance away from me and Angela, but she'd nodded
at me when I went past. I'd nodded back, feeling a quick thrill that she'd not
only noticed me but acknowledged me, too. I also couldn't help noticing that
she was dressed rather provocatively today, in a loose black leather skirt, and
black knee-boots. She had her legs crossed like a grown woman, one over the
other, and she was wearing dark eye makeup that made her dark eyes seem even
darker, and her full lips had a certain smirk as she nodded at me. She
projected the image of a sexy badass, and maybe the thrill I'd felt was envy.
I'd love to look like that.

She was obviously there to watch Jane, and suddenly I didn't feel like such a
tool any more. If a girl like Leah could endure cheer practice for the sake of
making her girlfriend happy, then I guess I could, too.

Although it would've been easier to endure if the squad was wearing their
uniforms. Alas, they only wore their uniforms for games, and for practice they
were clad in simple track gear, tanktops, shorts, pants. Alice was cutest, of
course, followed closely by Jane, and then Lauren. Lauren wasn't really in the
same league as the Cullen's, but she was still one of the prettiest girl's in
school, bitch or not.

It was Alice and Jane's first practice and I was curious at how they'd get
along with the rest of the squad. The squad seemed to accept Jane almost
instantly which didn't surprise me. She was blonde, after all—practically a
long lost sister. They were more wary of Alice, but Alice kept smiling and
eventually she seemed to win them over—all of them accept Lauren. I noticed her
muttering mean things every time Alice opened her mouth and I watched with a
growing frown. None of it seemed to bother Alice, and Lauren didn't get many
laughs, but still. What kind of monster could possibly be mean to Alice?

Even worse was Jane. I remembered yesterday that Jane had some not nice things
to say about Alice, but it still took me unpleasantly by surprise when I saw
her giggling at Lauren's comments and even add a few of her own. I even felt my
opinion of the blonde sister degrade slightly. Yesterday it had seemed harmless
enough, but here at school, in front of people—in front of Lauren—it seemed
almost reprehensible.

Angela was barely watching anything, cheerleaders or jocks, and she remained
focused on the textbook balancing on her lap while making idle chitchat and
lamenting about how much she sucked at math. Math was one of my better
subjects, despite my hatred of it, so I offered to help her out a little. I
tried to explain something about fractions, but she didn't get it, so I took
the pencil from her and wrote the answer myself. She went all uncomfortable as
I leaned over her lap, but she didn't scream and accuse me of rape, and when I
handed back the pencil she even forced a smile and groped for a topic of
conversation to ease the awkwardness.

"You know, that's a pretty cool collar," she said, pointing at my throat with
the nub of the pencil. "I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff."

She was the first person to mention it, and I was amazed to hear the word
'cool' in the same sentence. I smiled self-consciously and played it down. "I'm
not," I said. "Alice bought it for me."

She gave a little snort. "Wow," she said. "You're lucky. I can hardly get my
boyfriend to buy me a soda."

I smirked. "She bought me a bunch of other stuff, too," I said, only slightly
bragging. "Clothes and stuff."

She raised her eyebrows and gave another little snort. "Wow," she repeated.
"She must be rich."

I shrugged. "I think she is. She has a big house and all her sisters have cars.
Her dad's a doctor."

She snorted yet again and shook her head. I felt uncomfortable suddenly, like
I'd revealed too much, and I felt the need for a topic change. I looked out
over the field where my lovely Alice was demonstrating her baton twirling to
the rest of the squad. Inwardly, I felt a quick flush of pride at my
girlfriend's nimble dexterity, but outwardly I made a display of being bored,
and said:

"So when's this stupid practice over?"

"Soon," Angela grinned. "I can't believe you let your girlfriend make you sit
and watch. Don't you have anything better to do?"

I snorted. Actually, no, I literally had nothing better to do, and it wasn't
really much of a sacrifice. I felt bad about how they were treating her, but it
was nice to watch. Better than watching TV, anyway.

"Not really," I said to Angela. "What about you, what's you're excuse?"

She shrugged. "I'm not watching, I'm doing homework. And anyway, I'm just
waiting for Lauren. She was supposed to let me borrow her iPod so I could copy
some stuff."

I bristled at the mention of Lauren, and not because I was outraged that she
was breaking mp3 copyright laws. I remembered in math class, how she dismissed
me so hatefully, and I was still ashamed of myself for crawling back to her. I
snorted and looked down at the grass under my feet.

"Lauren's a bitch," I muttered. "Why do you even hang out with that whore?"

She shrugged, half distracted by some math problem in her notebook. "I don't
know," she said. "Why do you?"

I gave another snort; I was starting to sound like a pig. "I don't," I said
bitterly. "Not anymore."

Angela looked at me and shrugged again. "She's not so bad," she said, then she
chuckled. "When you're not around, at least."

I remembered that Angela was the only one who had attempted to stand up for me
last Friday, and I felt compelled to open up a little about my feelings.
Especially now, when I actually felt something. Usually I was pretty numb about
this stuff.

"I used to think she was okay," I said. "But now she's just a bitch."

It was kind of a stupid thing to say and it reminded me why I was usually so
reserved. Accusing a highschool girl of being a bitch is like accusing a
teacher of being boring; they can't help it and everybody knows. Now I just
sound like an idiot.

Surprisingly, Angela chuckled in agreement. "Yeah," she said. "I never knew she
was such a homophobe." Then she hesitated and added: "But it doesn't bother me,
you know. That you're…"

I gave her a weird glance. She was trying to say it was okay I'm gay, and that
was nice I suppose, but I still felt something awkward in the pit of my
stomach. Acceptance is swell and all, but it still sucks to be reminded that
you aren't normal—that you're something that requires acceptance.

I guess I should've been thankful for Angela's graciousness, but if she had
been hoping to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for her noble efforts at
accepting the school gay girl, I was going to have to disappoint her. All I
managed was a shy nod and an awkward smile. "Thanks," I told her.

"I mean, it's kind of gross," she added quickly, "but…you know."

Strangely, the word gross made me feel a little better, and my smile went a
little more genuine. "Yeah," I said. "I get it."

She nodded, relieved that she hadn't offended me or compromised her own
straightness by being too nice. She looked out over the field at the cheersquad
and then back at me and lowered her voice. "But, um…" she began. "What about
Alice? Is she…?"

I knew exactly what she meant, but I felt an urge to make her squirm. I
pretended to be confused. "Is she what?

"You know," she said, with emphasis. "Is she…?"

The girl was obviously under the impression that saying the word gay might turn
you into one, so I said it for her.

"Gay?"

It made her slightly uncomfortable, but she nodded. "Yeah."

I snorted and shook my head. Me and Alice still hadn't talked about our
sexualities, but I was pretty sure about her by now. She'd never shown any
interest in guys that I had seen and so far she'd proven to be rather
enthusiastic about the female anatomy—even mine.

But why was Angela so curious, anyway? Alice was obviously my girlfriend, so
wouldn't she just assume she was gay?

"I guess," I told her with a shrug. "Either that or she goes around tongue-
kissing all her friends."

"Ew," Angela said, screwing up her face. "Do you guys actually do that?"

I smirked. "What do you think?"

"Ew," she repeated. "That's gross. That's sick. That's just…ew."

I chuckled, relaxing even more. I liked Angela's good-natured disgust. It made
me feel less like a freak and more like someone who simply had different taste.
I snorted at her and smirked. "Yeah, well," I said, "at least I'm getting
some."

She snorted back. "Yeah," she said, "but look at what you're getting. I mean,
seriously. Have you ever thrown up from kissing her? Or does it, like, feel
natural?"

I giggled at how ridiculous the question was. "Of course it feels natural," I
grinned. "What are you, stupid?"

She blushed and flapped a hand embarrassedly. "Just curious," she said. "You
guys are moving pretty fast, huh? You know, it took me three weeks before I
kissed my boyfriend? And then it was, like, five months before I went down on
him. We still haven't had sex."

She said it all pretty casual, the way she would as if she was talking to any
of her regular friends—but I wasn't any of her regular friends. The word sex
made me a little uncomfortable, not to mention the mental image of sweet and
innocent Angela going down on her boyfriend. I try not to be judgmental, but
seriously; going down on a guy? Self-respect must be subjective because such an
act really didn't seem all that dignified to me.

I made a queasy face, nothing too offensive, and nodded. "Good for you."

She giggled and asked: "Have you and Alice?"

I frowned confusedly. "Have we what?"

"You know…" She dropped her voice even lower. "…had sex?"

The question took me by surprise, and I didn't have time to compose myself into
a really convincing attitude of righteous denial. I blushed and stammered. "N-
no, of course not."

It didn't fool Angela. She paled. "Oh my god."

"We haven't!"

But she just grinned and shuffled away from me on the bench. "That is so
disgusting. You hardly even know her!"

I chuckled and shook my head. "Whatever."

Angela kept a playful distance from me for the rest of the practice, but she
hadn't died from gay germs so far, so she was probably safe. And when the
practice was finally over she gathered her backpack and walked out to meet
Lauren, but not before giving one me more glance as Alice raced up to me and
wrapped me into a hug.

It was a cold day, but I warmed up quickly as Alice began babbling excitedly
about the practice session. She seemed particularly interested in whether or
not I noticed and admired her baton work, and after convincing her of how
impressed I was, she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and ran to catch a
shower, pausing once to smile and wave over her shoulder. It was a terrific
performance of teenage girlishness, and I had to wonder how much was authentic
and how much was simply to make me smile. Either way, I was glad she was happy.

We'd agreed to meet at the front gates and as I slung my backpack over my
shoulder I took a last look over the field. Leah had strolled out to meet Jane,
and I observed them to see if they'd act like a couple. They exchanged a few
words, smirked, and then Leah touched Jane's hand very discreetly, like a
lover's caress. No one would've seen it but me. Jane then smiled, gave her a
wink, and jogged away to catch up with—

Lauren?

Yep, Lauren. Lauren and Angela were already strolling away toward the main
building, and when Jane caught up, she threw an arm around my archenemy's
shoulders as if they'd known each other for years and said something loud that
made her laugh. I felt a weird combination of envy and disapproval, and I
wondered if Jane was really as nice as I thought she was.

The rest of the cheerleaders were huddled in a group and talking nonstop as
they packed up the pompoms and batons, but they looked up as Leah said
something to them. Two of them shared a glance, and one of them smirked and
said something back. Leah grinned, lifted a hand to wave, and strolled away.
The cheerleader's shared another glance, made some comments, and went back to
their pompoms.

The football team was also finishing up their practice, and to my very great
surprise, Leah sauntered directly over. She had a natural strut in her walk,
and her black leather skirt and knee-boots displayed it to full advantage.
Several of the boys whooped a greeting as soon as she was within range, and she
walked up to them as if they were all bestfriends, and then she snatched the
ball away from one of them and twirled it on her finger like a pro as they all
stood around talking. One of them said something that made the whole bunch of
them laugh and Leah punched him in the stomach playfully and laughed as well.

It left a very weird impression on me, and if I didn't know she was in a
serious long-term relationship I might've been suspicious of how her demeanor
seemed a little flirty. Hell, I was suspicious, anyway. They were just talking,
but still; it seemed very odd.

By now a few of the cheerleaders were walking past me on their way to the
showers. It was only half the squad and I figured the others must be showering
at home or something. One of them, a blonde I'd never seen before, noticed me
standing there and decided to wind down with a little after-practice
harassment.

"Hey," she said, "you're Alice's girlfriend, right?"

I bristled slightly. "Yeah. So?"

They smirked and looked at me with a distain that might've been impressive if
I'd never met Lauren or Rosalie. I managed not to slit my wrists in dismay.

"Jeez," she said. "Even for a dyke you'd think she could do better than you."

They snickered meanly and I looked away wearily, adjusting the strap of my
backpack. I'd been de-sensitized to this kind of stuff lately, and I watched
them continue on toward the showers without much feeling beyond that same dull
resentment I'd felt for Lauren in math. For a second I regretted not saying
something back—or at least stuffing some pompoms down their throats—but then I
remembered that these were Alice's squad-mates. It was probably best not to
antagonize them.

Alice drove me home and we started studying on my bed. We managed to
concentrate on our textbooks for almost a full ten minutes before we started
making out, which was a far more productive use of our time, really. There'd be
plenty of time to study later, but there was only an hour or so before mom got
home.

And eventually mom did get home. We both heard the car this time, and we
disengaged reluctantly, both pouting with swollen red lips. We straightened
ourselves up and propped notebook on our laps. I picked up my pen upside down
by accident, but I quickly flipped it around just as mom came in.

"Hi, sweetie," she said, and then she noticed Alice there sitting on my bed and
startled slightly. "Oh. I didn't know you were planning to have company over."

I wished mom didn't have to make it so obvious that I never had friends over,
but I guess it didn't matter. Alice wasn't superficial enough to date me for my
social standing alone; she preferred things like blood.

"We're just studying," I explained.

"I see," mom said, frowning slightly. "And how long is she planning on
staying?"

I wasn't sure, but I wanted her to stay as long as possible. Ideally she could
even move in. She could have my bed and I'd sleep on the floor and I'd give her
half my food and everything.

"Actually," Alice said, noticing that my mom wasn't crazy about me having
company over. "I should probably get going. I was just giving Bella a ride and
we thought we'd hang out for a bit and study."

Mom seemed placated at Alice's noble intentions and she waved a hand. "No, no,"
she said, "I didn't mean to interrupt. If you're studying you should keep doing
that. I just wanted to let Bella know I'm home."

"Thanks, mom."

She smiled and nodded. "Well, I'll leave you two alone." She started backing
out the door but then glanced us over one more time and frowned. "Bella, what
happened to your mouth?" she asked. "It's all red."

I felt a quick spasm of panic. My mouth was red because Alice had almost
inhaled my lips less than five minutes ago. "O-oh, it's nothing," I stammered.
"I must've been leaning on it."

Alice smiled and looked down to hide her twinkling eyes. I blushed, and even
though my excuse didn't exactly make sense, mom seemed to accept it.

"Hm," she said. "Well, you girl's have fun. I'll be downstairs."

Once mom was gone we focused on studying, despite how difficult it was to
concentrate with Alice's pretty face in the same room. I was a little behind on
my homework, but I was caught up within an hour, and finally Alice said it was
time for her to go.

It was dark as I walked her out to her car. She opened the door and turned back
to me. I'd been struggling for a way to suggest that maybe I could leave my
window open for her tonight, and as we dawdled by the open door of her car, she
seemed to be struggling to suggest the same thing.

"Hey," I said, finally overcoming my nervousness. "Want me to leave my window
open tonight?"

I would've been crushed if she refused, but she smiled shyly and placed a kiss
on my cheek. "You bet I do," she giggled, and then she ducked into the car,
shut the door, waved through the window, and pulled away.

I watched the car till it was gone. My cheek was tingling where her lips had
touched it, and for a few moments I simply stood there in the cold night air,
wondering why she was even attracted to me. I still hadn't come to any
conclusions, and after a while I looked up at the dark night sky. It was
overcast and starless, but I knew my lucky stars were up there somewhere and I
took a moment to thank them.

—

The next day was Wednesday, another one of those sucky days; right in the
middle of the week with the weekend still days away. On the bright side, I had
three classes with Alice, and we made out in the back of the library for a
while, so all in all the day wasn't pure hell.

I managed to avoid Lauren all day, but I had an encounter with someone even
worse; Rosalie. It was only a minor encounter, but when it was over I had the
distinct impression of being scarred for life. It happened between classes. I
was trudging down an empty corridor by myself, slightly late, and from the
other direction came Rosalie and Victoria.

Once again I was struck by how hot they were. It was a surreal experience, like
passing a pair of supermodels in a barren highschool hallway. Their long hair
gleamed in the pale sunlight spilling from the window, flame red and platinum
blonde, and they were so tall and so slender. You could almost confuse them for
teachers if you could believe teachers that hot existed somewhere. Besides, not
many teachers wear miniskirts or designer jeans.

My self-esteem had never been high, but it shriveled visibly the closer I got
to these goddesses. I felt drab and human, scurrying through the halls with my
books and my cheap clothes, dry hair, pale face. I kept my eyes down, and the
smart thing to do would've been to simply pass, glance helplessly, and pretend
that real beauty is on the inside. But then I remembered that these were
Alice's sisters, and Alice was my girlfriend. There was no reason why I
couldn't say hi, right?

There was also Rosalie to consider. She obviously hated me, judging from her
reaction to finding me in her house the other day, and I was eager to try and
make a good impression. It was the same urge that had compelled me to sit next
to Lauren in math yesterday, and it was probably just as stupid, but that would
only occur to me until after I'd made a fool of myself. So I did.

They were getting closer and they'd both noticed me. The blonde glared and
looked away. The redhead smirked and looked away. They were walking very close
together, so close their shoulders seemed to brush, and once again I marveled
at what a truly awesome couple they made. But then I remembered that it wasn't
confirmed, just a theory. Alice had mentioned that Rosalie might have feelings
for her, which might mean Rosalie and Victoria were just friends, but they
really did seem so close.

I gulped, and in a few seconds I was going to pass them. I should've kept my
mouth shut, but they were so pretty and I was so desperate for their approval,
that I couldn't help myself. I smiled at them, and it probably wasn't a pretty
smile. It felt clumsy and terrified, like being ordered to smile at gunpoint.
But I tried to make it as friendly as possible, and then I cleared my throat,
and said:

"Hi."

My voice came out bright and cheerful; unnatural, even to my own ears. They
didn't even slow down. They glanced at me briefly, and the blonde wore her
usual look of haughty distain, but the redhead seemed genuinely amused. Her
emerald-green eyes twinkled brightly and she looked at me the way you'd look at
a clumsy dog who tries to perform a complicated trick and fails; charming, but
useless nonetheless.

They passed on my left without speaking, but I heard one of them whisper
something behind me followed by a lilting snicker. I continued on with my head
down, and I didn't burst into tears, but the only thing that kept me from
drowning myself in one of the upstairs toilets was the promise of Alice in the
next class.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, aside from the occasional blonde glare
from Lauren. Our relationship seemed to have progressed into open animosity,
and I indulged a growing sense of defiance by glaring back a little. My heart
still tended to skip a beat whenever our eyes locked, but I ignored it and
passed it off as anger.

Angela was the only person I could count on to talk to me as if I weren't a
leper, but she still gave priority to her other friends, and I guess I couldn't
blame her. Nobody likes charity work.

Alice drove me home in the afternoon, and one thing led to another, as it often
does with Alice. We made out on my bed, but she kept glancing at my alarm
clock, and finally she broke away and whispered:

"Your mom's gonna be home soon."

I figured it was time for us to stop, so I sighed heavily. "Yeah."

But that wasn't what she had in mind. She was straddling my hips, and slowly
she snaked both hands up my top, cupped my breasts, and smirked coyly. "Wanna
do it quickly?"

I glanced at the alarm clock wildly. Mom would be home any minute, but we were
already warmed up. It'll be hell to stop after we start, but it was probably
possible to get it done quick enough.

"Okay," I whispered, and Alice's lips covered mine.

We hurried, but alas, it was not to be. No sooner than I'd reached into Alice's
pants when we heard the rumble of a car pulling up outside. We broke apart with
a loud groan and fixed ourselves up.

Alice pouted. "It's probably best if you're mom doesn't know I was here," she
said, and then she placed a long kiss on my lips. She pulled away when we heard
the front door downstairs. "Want we to finish the job tonight?"

I nodded eagerly, and Alice giggled, grabbed up her backpack, and scurried over
to the open window. She blew me a kiss, and then she climbed onto the
windowsill and hopped down into the backyard, just as mom's footsteps were
coming up the stairs.

The next day was Thursday, one day closer to the weekend. Me and Alice were
early for once, and she took it upon herself to walk me to homeroom like a
gentleman. I still felt a little self-conscious holding hands in public, but
the glow far outweighed the discomfort. Her delicate hand in mine seemed to
create a cocoon of warmth around us, a protective shield against the glances of
people we passed—until Lauren came along, that is.

The teacher hadn't arrived so the classroom door was locked, and me and Alice
were lingering in the hallway, leaning against the back window with our clasped
hands between us. Lauren was coming along with Angela, and when I saw the look
in her eyes I felt my protective warmth flicker feebly like a candleflame. My
hand tightened on Alice's slightly, and Alice glanced at me. Then she glanced
at Lauren. She'd been chatting while we waited, but now she stopped.

Lauren and Angela continued toward us, and Lauren seemed to simmer visibly when
she saw our clasped hands. She lifted her eyes to mine and I stared back
defiantly, which probably wasn't a smart thing to do. If I'd averted my eyes
meekly and pretended to be invisible like I usually did, I might've been able
to escape without any morning trauma, but even this tiny glimmer of defiance
seemed to provoke her.

She didn't even speak. Her simmering boiled over in an instant and suddenly she
lunged forward and slapped the textbooks out of my arms. I startled in fright,
but the clattering of the books on the floor only seemed to embolden her; she
glanced at Alice, glanced at me, snorted, and then she spat on my top and
continued past. Angela looked as startled as I did, but she didn't say
anything.

Alice had let go of my hand and she watched as Lauren leaned against the wall
by the classroom door with some of her other friends. My books lay scattered at
my feet and I was so frozen with anger that I couldn't even pick them up. I was
staring in Lauren's direction and I muttered:

"I'm gonna kill that bitch."

Alice smiled at me. Then she stooped and picked up my books.

"Why don't you try standing up to her?" she suggested.

She handed my books back and as I took them a lot of the anger just flatly
dissipated. It was helpless anger, because there was really nothing I could do.
I was doomed to an adolescence of vicious blonde torment, and getting pissed
wasn't going to change that.

I shrugged. "What's the point? It'll only make it worse."

"Perhaps," she said "But one must consider the big picture. If you let people
walk all over you now, they'll be doing it all your life."

It was nice that she was concerned about my psychological well-being, but I
think I was already messed up beyond repair. I looked at her blandly. "Do I
look like I give a fuck about the big picture?"

I was surprised at myself for speaking to her so roughly, but she wasn't
offended. She giggled softly and touched my shoulder. "I guess not," she said.
"I just hate to see you get pushed around, that's all."

Her smile and her touch soothed me. I returned her smile and shrugged as if it
was nothing—and in the real big picture it was nothing. Sticks and stones and
all that. "It doesn't matter," I said. "Forget about it."

Alice nodded. She glanced at Lauren, and then she glanced at me, flickering her
eyes up and down as if noticing my outfit for the first time. "Hey, how come
you haven't been wearing the clothes I got you?"

I shrugged. I still hadn't worn any of the things she'd bought me, and to be
honest I wasn't entirely sure why. Part of it was because I wanted to avoid
attention from over-critical peers like Lauren, but there was another part of
me that simply balked at the charity. It was sweet of her to spend hundreds of
dollars to supplement my closet, of course, and maybe I was being ungrateful
for not wearing any of it, but still; it was an extravagant gesture on her
part, and maybe I wasn't really ready to accept it.

"I don't know," I said, and then I gestured at my outfit loosely. "I'm
comfortable like this."

She nodded, only slightly disappointed. "It's important to be comfortable," she
said. By now the teacher was coming down the corridor and Alice had to go to
her own homeroom. But before she left she said: "Listen, there's another cheer
practice this afternoon. Did you wanna come watch?"

I shuffled my feet reluctantly, and she quickly added:

"You don't have to if you don't want to. I can bail if you'd rather do
something else."

I didn't understand how she could possibly have fun waving pompoms with a bunch
of trolls, but I wanted to be supportive, so I nodded. "I'll be there," I told
her, and it was worth it. She smiled brightly, and then she gave me a quick
kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks baby," she said, "it really means a lot to me."

I found that hard to believe and I couldn't help saying something. "Why,
though? Aren't they all mean to you?"

She giggled. "Only some of them, but I don't let them spoil my fun. I like
cheerleading. It's the only place where I can show off my baton technique."

I gave her a dubious look. "If you say so."

She flashed another smile, kissed my cheek again, and then she turned and
walked away as the teacher was opening the homeroom door. I sighed and watched
her leave with complex emotions. My respect for her had dropped slightly when
she'd said she liked cheerleading, but now that her ass was in view I felt my
respect for her go back up again.

The rest of the day passed like any other day. I avoided Lauren, even in math,
and mostly I just sat by myself and focused on school work, which wasn't as
easy as it seemed. Depression has a way of warping your priorities until a good
education seems even less important than getting up in the morning. After all;
what does it all matter if no one likes me?

I had Alice, of course, but Alice was a shallow fix. I looked forward to our
classes together, and I cherished every second of her company, but she didn't
really linger in the bloodstream long enough for a lasting euphoria. She
functioned more as a stimulant than a hypnotic.

I caught Lauren glaring at me during lunch, and I guess that was the real
problem. You'd think no friends at all would be better than the friends I used
to have, but it wasn't. I missed Lauren, crazily enough. Not the mean Lauren
who'd knocked the books out of my hands this morning, but the old Lauren, the
Lauren I'd known before Alice. I missed faux-friend Lauren, the Lauren who used
to let me walk with her in the halls between classes, the Lauren who used to
tease me in math and trade answers, the Lauren who'd sat next to me in computer
class and told the teacher that I was trying to look up lesbian porn even
though I wasn't. She was pretty cool, that Lauren.

I spent the last few classes in a strange melancholy, wondering why I used to
like her. She was pretty, sure, but I couldn't possibly be that shallow. I
really had no reason to like someone who'd been so mean to me, and yet she was
my first true crush. Why? I wasn't sure, but she had plenty of other virtues,
too. She was smart and independent. She didn't take shit from anybody, even the
teacher's. She was funny—in a hurtful way, but still; funny.

The more I thought about it, the more it seemed possible that she was jealous
of Alice. Or at least resentful of me that I actually had a girlfriend. She had
no other reason to turn on me like this. After all, she'd never been truly
homophobic. She'd only changed when she saw me with Alice at the movies that
time. Before then she'd only been playfully mean, even flirty. Sometimes it had
seemed that she might actually like me. Just a little. I'd never deluded myself
that a relationship was possible, but I couldn't deny that I'd thought about
it.

I wondered if any kind of friendship was salvageable, but it didn't seem like
it. If this morning was any indication, it seemed more likely that we'd only
degenerate further. Lauren had always favored a verbal form of torment, and
spitting on me seemed a bit extreme, even by her standards. I mean, what's
next? Is she going to beat me up and steal my lunch money? Or will she just
shiv me in the showers before PE someday like in a prison movie?

I didn't know and I was rapidly beginning to lose interest. I was sick of
worrying about it and sick of fretting. What was I so afraid of, anyway? If I
can be brave enough to let my girlfriend bite me in the neck and drain me of
most of my blood, I think I might be able to summon up the courage to stand up
to a female bully. Maybe not today, but soon. The episode this morning had
almost pushed me over the edge, and maybe next time I'll finally be forced into
stern and decisive action. I could threaten to report her to a teacher if she
doesn't stop, for instance. Harassment is a serious issue, I'm told. Teacher's
can really help in these situations.

Or maybe I'll just borrow mom's car and run her over some morning. It was a
tempting plan, but I'd have to look up the jail penalty for vehicular
manslaughter on google before I committed to it. If it was less than eight
years I'd refine the plan further. Until then I'll just file it under last
resort.

Classes dragged on and soon the final bell rang. Now I get to go watch the
cheerleaders practice. Yay.

I trudged out to the football field with a heavy heart, but then I reminded
myself that it was a noble thing to support one's girlfriend, and, to be fair,
the rest of the cheersquad was hot, and they did wear tight pants—or even
shorts. Therefore it wasn't a total waste of an afternoon. And afterward Alice
would take me home and make out with me. It was a pretty good deal, really, and
nothing worth complaining about.

There was no Angela to keep me company this time, but Leah was there, and when
she saw me she nodded. I nodded back, once again feeling a little thrill that
she acknowledged me. I wasn't presumptuous enough to actually go sit with her,
but before I could take a seat on the bench at a respectful distance, she
tossed her head for me to come over.

My heart stopped. Really? She wants me to sit next to her at school? Where
people can actually see? But what about her reputation? People might think
she's a nice person.

But I really didn't have a choice. She looked so cool sitting there in her
black clothes, with her dark hair and dark eyes, and I really did hesitate to
sully her coolness with my lowly presence, but I did. I went over, and extended
a casual greeting. She tossed her chin—very boyishly—and told me to sit down. I
sat down and I tried not to visibly glow with pride at sitting next to such a
cool-looking girl, but it was difficult. It almost felt like a crush.

On the field practice had began. They seemed to be explaining a certain routine
to Alice and Jane, and Alice and Jane were nodding as if they'd done it all
before and were happy to do it again—which was probably true. They'd probably
been on dozens of cheersquads throughout the years. One of the girls showed
them a move that was almost a backflip. She was obviously showing off, but she
lost some of her smirk when Alice repeated the exact move—only better. A couple
of the girls seemed impressed, but most of them remembered that Alice was gay
and refrained from clapping. I glowed with pride all over again, and resisted
the urge to nudge Leah with my elbow and tell her that Alice was my girlfriend.

Leah wasn't huge on conversation and mostly we watched in silence. I was
wearing my black hoody, and it was cold enough that I had to fold my arms to
keep warm. Leah didn't even have a jacket, and I was amazed that she wasn't
cold, but then I remembered that vampire's didn't get cold. She was sitting
with her legs crossed like last time, and she was wearing a similar black skirt
as the other day, and a black tanktop, and the same black knee-boots. There was
a tribal tattoo on her shoulder that I'd never noticed before, and her arms
were very toned, not like a body builder, but you could tell she worked out. My
eyes drifted over her discreetly and I could smell her scent on the wind; musk
and rain. Her legs were a perfect copper-color and they looked very smooth.
They were very long and they looked very attractive, the way they were crossed
like that. I felt an urge to mimic her posture, but I knew I'd only look like
an idiot. I made a mental note to try it out when I was alone in my room.

We did exchange a few words, but I didn't blame her for not having much to say
to me. This was obviously a superior being beside me and I was grateful just to
sit there.

I looked out over the field, and by now the squad was practicing some maneuver
that involved jumping and waving pompoms. To be honest, the whole scene seemed
somewhat depressing. Dark clouds were rolling in and a cold breeze was blowing
their long hair about their shoulders. They looked irritable and half-crazy.
Idiot schoolgirls who'd snapped from too much algebra and wandered into the
football field to prance and chant like spastics. I watched them, and I had to
wonder: is Alice crazy? How can she actually enjoy that shit? And what's
Lauren's excuse? Big bad Lauren who like's to use the eff word and call people
dykes. Waving pompoms. Jumping up and down. Am I the only one who thinks this
is kind of dumb?

On the other hand, they were really cute, so it wasn't completely excruciating
to watch. I focused my attention on Alice, of course, but my gaze wandered over
the others as well, comparing them, measuring them against Alice. Jane was the
closest match, and their body types were almost identical, although Jane was a
little shorter and a little more slender. Alice's figure was more full. Jane
looked like a girl; Alice looked like a young woman. Lauren was taller than
them both, taller then me even, but her body was kind of flat. She hardly had
any breasts at all and her legs were very slim. She was hot, sure, but she
couldn't really compare to the sublime shapeliness of the Cullen ladies. Still.
I'd do her. If she wasn't my sworn enemy and if I didn't already have a
girlfriend, that is.

I sighed. It had only been about ten minutes, but it felt longer. I glanced at
Leah and wondered how she felt about all this. Was it an affront to her dignity
to watch this stuff? Or did she enjoy it? She didn't seem particularly
entertained. She just seemed to be waiting, hardly even watching. She seemed
too cool for like something cheerleading and I decided to say something. I knew
that anything that came out of my mouth would likely embarrass me, but I
couldn't help it. I gestured at the field with a lazy smirk and said:

"This is kind of stupid, huh?"

I was worried she might call me a loser and tell me to get lost, but she
smiled. "Kind of," she agreed. "But Jane and Alice are strange girls. Believe
it or not, they actually like school."

"Really?"

"Sure. They like meeting new people, making new friends. They like pretending
to be kids. It reminds them of the childhoods they never had."

I felt an aching urge to try and get her to elaborate on Alice's history, but I
really didn't know her well enough. I wasn't even comfortable enough with Alice
to ask her. It seemed rude somehow, like I didn't have any right to know. I
hoped she'd tell me about it herself some day.

Still, I felt a stab of pity knowing that Alice didn't have a childhood. I'm
sure it was far more tragic than my own skipped childhood, and I couldn't wait
for her to tell me about it so I could offer her comfort and everything. Maybe
she'd even cry, and I'd get to stroke her hair and tell her everything would be
alright now. That would be cool.

"Rosalie and Vicky hate school," Leah went on. "Usually they don't even enroll.
They only did this time so they could keep an eye on Alice."

I frowned. "Why?"

She shrugged. There was a mysterious smirk around her lips and she didn't look
at me. "Who knows?" she said. "There's a special bond between those three.
They're like sisters within sisters. Rose and Vicky have always liked Alice.
Then again, everybody likes Alice, don't they?"

I looked out over the field. "Lauren doesn't," I said bitterly.

Leah chuckled. "Yeah, I met her the other day. Guess who's her new bestfriend?"

"What do you mean?"

"Jane," Leah grinned. "They really hit it off after last practice. She even
bought Lauren home yesterday when Alice was at your place. They were hanging
out and playing video games."

I couldn't believe it. Jane, friend's with Lauren? Doesn't she realize that
Lauren is a homophobic twit who hates her sister?

"It was actually pretty funny," Leah was saying. "Lauren had some interesting
things to say about you."

My heart flickered. "Like what?"

Leah waved a hand airily. "Oh, nothing particularly original," she said. "She
thinks you're secretly in love with her and it creeps her out. She says that's
why she hates you so much, because you're always following her around and
staring at her."

A cold feeling passed over me. She knew? But I'd been so careful! How could she
know I'd been crushing on her?

I swallowed to clear my throat. "That's bullshit," I said.

Leah glanced at me and chuckled. "Yeah, but you know what was really weird? She
actually seemed enthusiastic about the idea. As if she wants you to be in love
with her. She pretended to be disgusted, but she was enjoying it way too much.
I think she might have a little thing for you herself."

I blushed and frowned darkly. If she wants me to like her then she's been
sending some pretty mixed signals; spitting on me, for instance. I'm no
seductress, but I'm pretty sure that spitting on people isn't considered smooth
courtship.

"I hate her," I muttered.

Leah shrugged, still smirking. "You're entitled," she said. "It was disgusting
some of the stuff they were saying. Jane was thoroughly amused, of course."

"But why?" I blurted. "Jane is gay, isn't she? How can she possibly like that
bitch?"

Leah made that same gesture in the air, a wave of her hand. "Jane's a strange
girl," she said. "She's a lesbian, sure, but she's also a six hundred year old
sociopath. Do you honestly think she cares about some teenage girl's small-
minded opinions? No. Her attitude's beyond all that stuff. Hate only entertains
her."

I stared at her in shock. She still wasn't looking at me and slowly I struggled
to tear my gaze away. I looked out across the field and saw Jane joking around
with Lauren. Alice was standing aside, not really part of the group, and she
was examining the pompom in her hands while the wind tosseled her black pixie-
like hair. She was minding her own business, but then Jane called something to
her that made everyone laugh. Alice looked at them and looked away again. She
wasn't laughing, and I felt tears prickle my eyes suddenly.

"But Alice is her sister," I whispered.

Leah shrugged. "I guess. But like I said, Jane's a strange girl. She'll trash
Alice behind her back and then as soon as Alice gets home she'll trash Lauren
behind hers. She'll trash you, she'll trash me, she'll trash Vicky and Rose.
It's just the way she is. She's a wolf in sheep's clothing." She grinned. "It's
one of the things I love about her."

I looked at her in confusion, but didn't say anything. It didn't seem like
loveable behavior to me.

"Besides," Leah went on. "Alice is beyond all that stuff, too. We all are. You
can't hurt a vampire's feelings. Our hearts are dead already."

I frowned. "Alice has a heart."

"Yeah," Leah chuckled. She gave me a big-sis smirk and nudged me playfully.
"She's got a nice ass, too, huh?"

I grinned despite myself, because naturally, I completely agreed. I knew she
was trying to deflect the conversation, but honestly, I wasn't sure if I wanted
to know any more about these Cullen sisters. From everything that I'd seen it
seemed like Alice was the only decent one in the whole bunch.

The practice didn't last much longer and soon the squad was breaking up. I
would've waited for Alice at the bench, but Leah got up and started walking out
to meet them, so I followed. I didn't want to get within spitting distance of
Lauren, but it was too late after I stood up, and I would've looked like an
idiot if I sat down again.

Alice was happy to see me. She smiled brightly and kissed me in front of
everyone, flatly ignoring the dark looks we got from the rest of the squad. I
tried not to be annoyed, but it wasn't the first time she'd done something like
this. Even before I'd gotten a girlfriend I knew I'd never be the type who
liked public affection. I just didn't see the point. Doesn't she realize that
everyone is looking at us like we're aliens? Doesn't she care?

She held the kiss a little too long and ended it with a flourish. But I smiled,
because in the end it was Alice who liked me, Alice who spent time with me, and
Alice who mattered.

"Hey," she said brightly, "did you see that back flip I did?"

I nodded encouragingly. "Yeah. That was awesome."

She giggled delightedly. "I'm gonna go shower up quickly," she said, already
moving past me. "Meet you at the front gates?"

"Okay."

Giggling, she kissed her hand and touched my cheek, and then she waved, turned,
and started jogging. I watched her go and remembered what Leah had said: She
likes pretending to be a kid.

It was cute, really. I guess when you're as old as they are you need to make
your own fun. I watched her until she'd disappeared into the locker rooms, and
I realized that the strange feeling in the pit of my stomach was envy. It must
be great to have such control over your emotions like that. To be able to force
yourself to smile and have fun, even if you weren't. If you pretend to have fun
long enough does it eventually become real? I didn't know, but maybe I should
try it.

They were all very fascinating reflections, but unfortunately, I should've been
more aware of my surroundings. I was still standing in the middle of the
cheersquad, which was like being encircled by wolves. Some of them had broken
away to stroll toward the showers, and most of the others were content to
ignore me as I stood there pondering my girlfriend's personality quirks. Only
Lauren seemed particularly irritated by my presence, and what broke me out of
my trance was a loud snort.

"Well, what are you waiting for, dyke?" Lauren barked. "Go wait at the gates
like a good little lesbo. Maybe she'll have some doggy treats for you if you're
quick enough."

The other cheerleaders snickered as they gathered up their pompoms. I turned to
Lauren. Leah and Jane had been standing aside and talking quietly to
themselves, but now they looked over. I stared at Lauren, and I didn't feel
hurt or angry. Just fed up. I frowned at her and said:

"Fuck you, Lauren."

I said it very clearly, without my usual meekness. Some of the cheerleaders
smirked. Jane grinned and detached herself from Leah, wandering closer to
Lauren's side. Lauren smiled at me, and I knew exactly what she was going to
say, because she'd said it a million times before.

"Fuck me? Yeah, you wish."

I remembered when Leah had told me about how Lauren thought I was secretly in
love with her and I felt a hot rush of resentment. How self-centered can a
bitch be?

Maybe Alice and Leah were right. Maybe that's just what she wanted to believe.
It was even more pathetic than me, really. At least I never let my feelings
cause me to hate anyone.

Until now.

"No," I snorted. "I wish you'd drop fucking dead."

It was a decent comeback with decent delivery, and it seemed to impress the
audience. "Oooh…" the cheerleaders cooed, turning to Lauren for a retaliation,
and even Lauren herself seemed delighted—although not in a good way. Her mouth
flickered into a schizoid grin and her icy blue eyes flashed.

"Aww, I think the dyke's upset," she grinned. "What are you gonna do, cry like
last time?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but then Jane stepped in.

"Or maybe she'll get her freak girlfriend to make her feel better," she
announced happily. "It's disgusting the stuff those two do when they're alone.
You know I caught them once in Alice's bedroom with a camcorder? Probably
making a youtube video or something."

The cheerleaders snickered, but Lauren seemed slightly put out at the
interference. I'd thought Jane was going to be on my side, but her words had
stunned me into stupidity. My face went pale and a cold feeling passed through
me. "What?" I murmured.

Jane ignored me and continued addressing the other girls. "You should've seen
Alice at our last school," she grinned. "She had all these pictures on her
cellphone of her and her girlfriend and she used to go around showing them to
guys and telling everyone she's a lesbian. She's just a slut, is what she is."

The cheerleaders made disgusted faces.

"Eww," one of them said.

"That's disgusting," said another.

I went breathless with anger. How could Jane say that? Leah had warned me that
she liked trashing her sisters behind their backs, but I couldn't believe she
was actually doing it.

Lauren snorted. Now that Alice had been mentioned, her grin was completely
gone. Her hatred for Alice seemed even darker than her hatred of me. "I knew
she was a freak," she said. "She probably went wandering into the boys locker
room by accident. Probably showing them all her pictures."

Jane giggled. "And probably showing them a bunch of other stuff while she's at
it," she said. "You know she got drunk at the Spring Formal last year and
flashed the whole school? And then she didn't even leave with her girlfriend,
she left with some guy."

"Probably charged him, too," Lauren added, looking at me. "You can tell she's a
whore."

My face went bright red and my eyes prickled with tears of rage. "You shut the
fuck up about Alice."

Jane smiled and turned to the cheerleaders. "She didn't know her girlfriend's a
slut," she said, and then she giggled. "Or maybe she's just frustrated that
Alice won't share any of the guys."

Some of the cheerleaders smirked at that, but others were getting
uncomfortable. They shuffled their feet and looked at the grass. Leah was
watching from the sidelines, but she kept looking off into the distance, up at
the sky or where the football team was still practicing, as if she was just
waiting for Jane and didn't really care about anything else.

Lauren hadn't taken her eyes off me. She snorted. "Nah, this one doesn't want
any guys," she said. "This one's pure one hundred percent ugly dyke, aren't you
dyke?"

I was trembling from fury and I could feel adrenaline pounding through my body.
I took a menacing step toward Lauren and said: "I'm fucking warning you,
Lauren. You shut the fuck up right now, or—"

"Or what?" Lauren sneered. "Fuck off if you don't want to hear it. No one wants
you here."

"Yeah, get lost," Jane grinned. "We might get gay germs standing this close. At
least Alice isn't gay enough to be catching. She's only got slutty germs."

I glanced at her, clenching my fists. The knowledge that she was a six hundred
year old vampire kept me from saying anything, but somehow Jane's teasing hurt
even worse than Lauren's. My desire for Lauren's good opinion had been slowly
disintegrating all week, but I really wanted Alice's sisters to like me. I just
couldn't believe she could say stuff like this.

"You heard her," Lauren snorted. "Fuck off. Go eat your girlfriend before she
starts fucking everything on the football field."

Jane giggled and turned to the others. "Hey, I know what'll make her go away.
Watch this."

The grass was soggy underfoot and all patchy from the repeated practices. Jane
stooped and picked up a small dirt clod, and then she grinned and threw it at
me.

The clod hit me in the shoulder and left a streak of mud on my hoody. I
flinched and froze. A couple of snickers went up from the cheerleaders and
suddenly Lauren picked up another clod and threw it. It hit me in the side of
the head and I felt dirt rattle through my hair. There was more snickering and
evidently the other cheerleader thought it look like fun. Jane was already
throwing another clod and all the other cheerleaders copied. They threw two or
three dirt clods each and then they stood around laughing about it for a while.

Lauren threw the last one while the others laughed. I stood there frozen in
rage with dirt all over my clothes. I was breathing heavy and I couldn't even
think straight. I was looking at the ground, and then suddenly I scrabbled for
a chunk of dirt, and raised up. Lauren's was the first face I saw, and without
even thinking, I reared back and threw it as hard as I could at her head.

I've always thrown like a girl, but the blinding fury seemed to have improved
my aim—and velocity. Either that, or it was just a lucky shot. She was only
maybe five feet away and the dirt clod smacked into the side of her face like a
fastball. She stumbled backward and the rest of the cheerleaders inhaled a
shocked gasp. Jane backed away toward Leah, still smirking, and Leah smiled.

Lauren recovered and wiped her face. The dirt was moist, but it wasn't mud, and
the clod only left a brown streak across her cheek and the side of her neck. It
must've really hurt, but amazingly, she was grinning even wider than what she
was before. Her eyes twinkled and she gave a shaky chuckle.

"You fucking bitch."

"Fuck you," I spat.

I was done taking her shit. I'd never hit any body in my life, but I was
shaking with built up resentment, and all I needed was one more word, one more
comment about Alice, and I was going to snap.

Lauren must've felt the same way. She walked up to me and gave me a big
schoolyard shove. I tripped and fell backwards onto the grass, but I was up on
my feet in the next second, and then I lurched forward and shoved her back. My
shove was weaker than hers, and she only stumbled back a couple steps, still
grinning. She hesitated for a second, thinking about her next move, and then
she stepped forward and punched me in the face.

She wasn't a pro boxer, but she'd always had a natural athleticism, so the
punch really hurt. It caught me right in the mouth and the pain took me
completely by surprise. My bottom lip tore against my teeth and blood leaked
into my mouth. I stumbled back, my hands covering the bottom half of my face,
but I didn't make a sound.

Our little crowd seemed as shocked as I was.

"Shit," one of the cheerleaders whispered.

Another one frowned. "Lauren, what the hell?"

But Lauren was just grinning and waiting for me do to something. I was still
covering my mouth, and shockingly, I could feel a smile spreading under my
hands. It hurt like hell, but the pain seemed to have triggered an adrenaline
rush that completely smothered the anger. I spat a red spit on the ground, my
mouth throbbing, and looked at the blood on my hand. A weird half-chuckle
escaped me and I looked up at her.

"You fucking bitch."

She grinned. "Fuck you."

She was standing rigid with her arms awkwardly at her sides, as if she expected
me to hit her back, and that's exactly what I did; I stepped forward and threw
an fist at her face.

It was a clumsy girl-punch, and she'd cringed away at the last moment, so it
didn't do any real damage. It caught her in the ear, and she made a little hiss
of pain, and then suddenly she lashed out and grabbed me.

I tried to twist out of her grip, but she had two handful of my hoody. She was
kicking at my legs and I felt the toe of her sneaker bash into my shin. I
writhed away and my hoody came off over my head. My hair was all in my face and
as I looked up she was throwing my hoody aside. I threw another clumsy punch.
It glanced off her shoulder. She threw a punch of her own that hit me in the
neck. I went to hit her again, but she grabbed my top and wrenched me around,
and I grabbed her arms and wrenched her back. We were trying to kick at each
other's legs and then we tripped and fell on top of each other in the grass.

We rolled in the dirt, clawing at each others clothes, pulling at each other's
hair. We fought in total silence with only small hisses and grunts of pain.
There was no shrieking or screeching. No one interfered and no one spoke, and
the rest of the squad just stood around watching with expressions of worry, as
if they didn't like what they were seeing but didn't really know what to do
about it.

Lauren was on top me and thumping my collar-bone with short chops of her fist.
I thrashed her off and punched her in the stomach repeatedly, clumsy little
body blows that didn't even wind her. She rolled around and threw an elbow at
my mid-section. I felt a spike of pain in my ribcage and writhed aside. I threw
up my forearms to protect my face and she started clubbing at my head with her
fist until I twisted back and grabbed her hair and wrenched her away.

We scrabbled to our feet, panting. She was still grinning, and her blonde hair
was full of dirt and all messy on her head. My arms were streaked with grass
and my pants were wet from the wet ground. We stood off against each other, and
I was still grinning, too.

Our audience was getting very worried by now and some of them were looking
around for a teacher.

"Come on, you guys," one of them said.

Another frowned. "Yeah, what are you doing?"

Neither me or Lauren listened. The adrenaline was pumping through my veins and
it was the most fun I'd had in ages. It was the first time I'd ever asserted
myself and I felt delirious and half-feverish with release of repression. I
felt high; even higher than when I was with Alice. My head was pounding, and my
body was throbbing in several places, and my bottom lip stung like it was on
fire, but I was loving every moment of it.

Lauren circled me with a smirk. There was a weird glint in her eyes and I knew
she was feeling something similar, the rush of adrenaline coursing through her
veins, her heart pounding in her head. There was years of pent up feelings
between us and now we were finally letting it all go.

I attacked first. I had no plan exactly, I just wanted to grab her and hurt
her. We grappled and I managed to kick her with my boots, but then she landed a
body punch into my stomach that knocked the air out of me. I bent slightly and
she kept punching as I leaned against her. My face was pressed against her
shoulder and I could feel her fist beating into my stomach and when I could
breathe again I found myself laughing. I tried to wrench away, but she had a
handful of my top, so I bashed into her with my shoulder.

She stumbled away, but waded back in almost instantly, and I flinched away as
if I was afraid, but I wasn't afraid. I was still grinning and I giggled again
as I felt her fist crash into my head. I stumbled aside into the gawking
cheersquad and they flared and fluttered away. Lauren grabbed the back of my
top, but I spun around and swatted her arms away, and then I grabbed her and
lurched forward and headbutted her savagely in the face.

Our audience gasped and jumped, as if the blow had somehow hit them, too. Me
and Lauren didn't make a sound. I reeled backwards from the pain of thumping my
head into something solid and Lauren collapsed onto one knee with blood
dripping from her nose like a faucet. The cheerleaders had seen enough.

"You guys are crazy," one of them said.

Another shook her head. "Yeah, I'm outta here."

One by one they hurried away, glancing over their shoulders, none of them
speaking. Only Leah and Jane remained. Jane was grinning and bouncing excitedly
on her feet as if she wanted to burst into a cheer routine, and I couldn't help
smirking; she was an evil bitch, sure, but kind of cool, too. Leah was just
looking away politely, as if she was intruding on a private moment, and was
anxious to get away.

Lauren staggered to her feet. Her hands were covered in blood and she was
trying to hold her nose, but it must've been painful. She tried to glare at me,
but even now she seemed unable to stop smiling.

"I'm fucking bleeding," she said.

I tried to wipe away my own smile, but I couldn't; Lauren was bleeding and I
was very proud of that. "Sorry," I said without meaning it, but because the
sight of so much blood was alarming, I added: "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm alright," she muttered. "You?"

I could still taste blood in my mouth, but I would've looked better than
Lauren. I touched my lip with my fingers absently, and as I did I realized that
I'd won the fight. It was mostly a fluke victory—Lauren owned my ass until that
headbutt—but still; I won. The thought was enough to make me grin all over
again.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm good."

Jane stepped forward and handed Lauren an expensive looking white lace
handkerchief. "Here, use this," she said. "Keep your head back."

Lauren put it to her nose and tilted her head back. The handkerchief turned red
almost instantly and Lauren was glaring at me with one eye and her head turned
aside. "You grabbed my fucking tit."

I smirked sheepishly. "Accident."

She snorted. "Whatever," she said. She looked at the bloody handkerchief,
realized it was doing nothing, and chucked it on the ground. She tried to give
me another glare, but she couldn't seem to muster up any hate, and she broke
into a bloody grin instead. "Fucking dyke," she said, and then she shook her
head, turned, and walked away, dabbing at her nose with her wrist.

And then I was alone with Jane and Leah.

I turned to Jane and I felt another influx of adrenaline. In the mood I was in,
I was ready to try my luck against her, too, if she said another thing about
Alice. But the lack of an audience seemed to tranquillize her. She heaved a
happy sigh and smiled as if she'd had a bunch of fun but it was time to go home
now.

"Ah, the joys of adolescence," she said, looking off where Lauren had
disappeared. Then she turned to me and smiled. "Listen, no hard feelings, huh?
It's nothing personal, it's only because you're Alice's girlfriend. But just so
you know, it was all bullshit. Alice is as innocent as the sunrise."

It was basically an apology, so I nodded. I wasn't happy, but I reminded myself
of what Leah had said and let a little fear wash away the anger. Jane was a six
hundred year old sociopath; she could've just as easily tortured me to death
instead. In a way, I suppose it had been no different from squashing me in
Street Fighter, only this time it hurt more.

"Listen, I'll make it up to you, okay?" she offered, her voice turning
friendly. "Come over to the house sometime and I'll be really nice. We can play
some video games or watch a movie. You know, just hang out."

It was a seductive offer, and even though I knew I should hate her forever for
what she said about Alice, I found myself nodding. She was a Cullen, after all,
and it was hard not to be desperate for her approval, even now.

The answer pleased Jane. She looked up at the sky and sighed deeply, smiling a
happy child-like smile, and then she noticed the bloody handkerchief at her
feet. She bent to pick it up. She lifted it her to nose and sniffed delicately.
Then she giggled.

"I usually don't like it when the good guys win, but it was a good fight.
Still, I'd better get outta here. The scent of blood's making me think naughty
thoughts." She smirked and sniffed the handkerchief once more and then she
tossed it to the ground. She winked. "I might have to pay our darling Lauren a
little visit tonight, if you know what I mean."

I felt a shiver. Did she mean drink Lauren's blood? Did Lauren know what Jane
was? No, impossible. But Jane wouldn't kill her. Would she?

"Jane," Leah demanded softly. "Let's go."

Jane glanced back at her and then gave me a smirk. "See you around. Give my
regards to Alice, hm?"

Then she giggled and skipped over to Leah. Leah put her arm around Jane's waist
and they walked away.

I watched them go with a vague anxiety. Alice had said that none of her family
kills humans, so there was really nothing to worry about. Alice had fed from me
without killing me, but Jane couldn't do it like Alice. What was she going to
do? Use a straw while Lauren was asleep?

I sighed and decided I'd better clean myself up before heading for the front
gates, but by now Alice was done with her shower and she was walking out to
meet me. I was the only person left on the field and I noticed Alice smile when
she saw I'd been waiting for her, but then the smile turned to worry as she
noticed my tangled hair, my dirty clothes, blood on my mouth. She started
running toward me and I tried not to grin at her dashing concern, but it was
hard, even with the pain in my split lip.

"Bella, oh my god," she said, stooping to look into my face. "What happened to
you?"

I chuckled at how much she sounded like mom, and shrugged it off, attempting to
force my face into something somber and mature.

"It's nothing," I said. "Just a fight. Lauren was saying stuff about you."

She straightened and blinked. She seemed touched and surprised that I'd stood
up for her, and I could almost hear her heart flutter. Seeing that expression
on her pretty face made me light up inside and I felt a slow blush creep over
my cheeks as I looked away to hide it.

"She was talking about me?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, finally breaking into a painful grin. "But I kicked her ass."

—

Alice took me straight home and stood me at the kitchen sink as she wet a paper
towel and dabbed at my face. She was even worse than mom. She demanded the
location of the firstaid kit and then she set it on the bench, opened it, and
sorted out the things she'd need in order to make sure my face wouldn't have to
be amputated. She seemed disappointed that there was little she could do other
than disinfect my lip with a cotton swab, but she did it. I put extra effort
into not flinching at the sting—I was determined to be a badass—and then she
put the stuff away and closed the kit.

"I'm gonna kill that bitch," she said.

I giggled. I'd said the same thing earlier this afternoon, but I wasn't too
upset that I hadn't managed it. I was still half-euphoric from the adrenaline
and I found it very difficult to maintain any degree of anger or hate—I was
even disposed to be gracious. After all; I'm a badass now. Isn't the world
wonderful?

And to prove my new found bad-assery, I shrugged off my girlfriend's touching
concern as if it was nothing. "I'm fine, Alice."

Alice frowned and took my face in her hands, examining me all over again.
"You're not fine, look at you. Look at what she did to your poor lip."

Honestly my ribs hurt more from where she'd scored a hefty hit just under my
breast, but I didn't mention it because I didn't want her to think I wasn't
superman. Instead I grinned and turned the attention to my own heroic exploits.
"Yeah, but you should see her," I said. "I think I broke her nose. It was all
bloody and everything. Good thing it was after school. We could've got
expelled."

I'd been resisting the urge to babble about my victory the whole way home and
maybe I'd said too much. True warriors are humble men—or highschool girls—and I
didn't want to gloat.

Alice saw right through me. She could see how proud I was and she gave me a
small smirk, but her expression also made it clear that violence was nothing to
be proud of. It was a very mature womanly look and it only made me grin wider.

"Bella, stop grinning," she admonished gently. "You're making your lip bleed
again."

"Yeah," I said, still feeling the urge to babble, "but you should've seen it. I
kicked her ass. She better watch out if I hear her talking about you again,
even if we're in class. I'm not gonna listen to that shit anymore."

I was blushing as I talked, and really, I was being modest compared to how I
felt. My ego was so huge at the moment it seemed to be swirling all around me,
and I wanted nothing more than to tell her how upset it had made me to hear
them talking about her like that, and how much she didn't deserve it, and how I
wanted to just wrap her into a fluffy blanket and hiss at whoever came close
because I loved her so much and I wanted to protect her.

But I stopped and forced myself to shut up, because I knew I was only
embarrassing myself. Alice was a centuries old vampire; she didn't need any one
to protect her or stand up for her. She was perfectly capable of handling her
own bullies, but she was too mature and too refined to get upset like I did.

But it was sweet of her to let me believe I was her own personal champion. She
allowed herself to smile at my gallant babbling and then stepped up close to
me, pressing my back against the sink. She looked up at my face and brushed my
dirty hair from my eyes. "So you were defending my honor, were you?"

I stared down into her huge honey-colored eyes, feeling my face heat. "Yeah."

"Well," she whispered. "Maybe my handsome ladyknight deserves a reward, hm?"

My lips quirked into a shy smirk. "Maybe."

She let her eyes flicker over me and touched my lip with her fingertips. I felt
her fingertip brush over my spilt lip and then she stepped onto her toes and
kissed my bottom lip gently. Then she wrapped her arms around my neck and
deepened the kiss, sucking on the wound.

It was a painful kiss, but I loved it. I could taste the iron tincture of blood
on my tongue, and I knew she could taste it, too. She started to suck harder,
and I winced slightly, but I didn't pull away. I let my hand thread into her
short silky hair, and I opened my mouth, allowing her to take my whole bottom
lip into her mouth.

She sucked harder and harder and my heart began to race faster and faster. The
pain was growing, but it was such a nice pain. Her tongue was probing at the
split in my lip and I could feel her losing herself in the taste of blood. I
didn't care. She could take as much as she want.

Finally she broke the kiss and released a shaky breath. She licked a thin film
of blood and saliva off her lips and I could see the shapes of her fangs poking
her tongue.

"Sorry," she whispered. "Did that hurt?"

It did, but I shook my head. "No."

She smiled and took a deep breath. "I'll have to defer the rest of your reward
till tonight. For now you should shower and get cleaned up before your mom gets
home."

My heart sank. "You're not staying for a little bit?"

"No," she said, and then she smirked. "I have my own bully to tend to."

"Jane?"

"Mmhm."

I chuckled once, a little bitterly. "She's kind of psycho, isn't she?"

"Kind of, yes. But don't worry." She caressed my cheek and stared up into my
eyes. "I'll make her regret saying mean things to my baby."

I blushed, instantly reduced into a hundred pounds of gooey schoolgirl. It had
been fun being a badass for a while, but it was nice to be a baby again.
Especially Alice's baby. It was really the best thing to be.

My lip was still throbbing and I could still taste blood. Alice smiled and
placed another kiss on it.

"Close your eyes," she told me.

I closed them.

"Open them," she whispered, but the whisper seemed to come from far away, and
when I opened my eyes she was gone.

—

By tomorrow morning the adrenaline had worn off and I was feeling decidedly
less macho. I'd spent the whole morning fearing and fantasizing about the
inevitable encounter with Lauren, but I came to no solid predictions on what
could happen. Anything was possible. Lauren hadn't proven to be particularly
stable lately—then again, neither have I—and I wouldn't have been surprised by
anything. Common sense would suggest for us to keep a cool wary distance from
one another, but common sense had suggested that ages ago, and we'd never
listened. Why would we now?

I had no idea what I was hoping for, personally. Yesterday's tumble had burned
away my resentment like calories on a treadmill, and all that was left was a
vague regret. Not regret that I'd hit her—that had been fun—but regret that our
faux-friendship had degenerated that far. It had been all her fault, though.
She's the one that turned into a psycho bully from hell. I'd been perfect happy
to be her whipping girl as long she never really hurt my feelings, but then she
went and did it. She even made me cry, the bitch. And, of course, I could never
forgive her for that. I didn't mind the split lip so much, but the tears had
really hurt.

I wonder how she feels about the whole thing? She'd obviously enjoyed our
altercation, maybe too much. A little pent up sexual tension perhaps? It
wouldn't surprise me, not any more. The girl obviously had issues with me and
my orientation. I wonder if she's that feisty with her boyfriend?

But it didn't matter. We'd obviously devolved into sworn enemies and the rest
of our highschool careers would be spent acting out a mortal blood feud where
survival was the best I could hope for. That was fine with me. I'd meant what I
said to Alice. I didn't want to hear any of her shit any more. Why should I? I
had no friends and nothing left to lose. I wasn't gonna go looking for a fight,
but if she wants one, I'll give her one. If she says one more thing about
Alice. Just one thing.

Or maybe she actually felt sorry this time. Maybe she knew she went too far and
she'd actually apologize. Maybe she'd even apologize to Alice as well. And then
we could all hold hands and go skipping through a flowerfield. It could happen.

No. Lauren was never going to apologize because Lauren was a bitch. The best I
could hope for was that she'd ignore me and just leave me alone, but I
suspected the opposite. I had a feeling—a very bad feeling—that things would
only get worse from here. And, worst of all, there was still nothing I could
really do. Yesterday had been a total fluke, and it was only a miracle of
circumstance that it didn't happen in class or when there was teacher's around.
I could never risk provoking Lauren in class, despite my bragging to Alice. Mom
would never forgive me if I got in trouble for fighting, even if it wasn't my
fault. Parents never understand how breaking school rules in a violent fashion
is sometimes the right thing to do. They seem to think that school rules are
there to prevent harassment in the first place, strangely.

Luckily, I didn't have any bruises or visible marks that would've freaked mom
out. She noticed my lip, of course, and I told her I must've bit it. She's not
a stupid woman, but she seemed to believe me. Most of the bruises were on my
body where mom would never see. It had been a weird fight and of neither us
were Muay Thai pit fighters; the face is a very small target and it had been
easier to simply swing wildly for the body.

Alice was also very concerned, and after we pulled up in the parking lot at
school she'd taken it upon herself to be my personal bodyguard right until the
bell for homeroom. I suppose that was one consolation. Lauren's love interest
was a beefy football player, but mine was a two hundred year old vampire with
very sharp teeth. If she decides to send her boyfriend after me to exact
vengeance on her wounded pride, she was in for a surprise. Alice had been
reluctant to involve herself so far because she didn't want to make things
worse for me, but she'd threatened to snap Lauren's neck once before, and I
didn't doubt she was capable of it. It would probably be better to dial it back
to a non-lethal form of retaliation, but it was nice that I had that option.

Alice stayed with me till it was time to go to her own homeroom and then she
kissed me and parted reluctantly. Lauren hadn't arrived yet for some reason and
I tried not to get my hopes up that maybe she wouldn't be at school today. It
had been a pretty bad nose bleed, after all. Maybe she'd crawled into a ditch
somewhere and bled out. A girl can hope, can't she?

Lauren arrived halfway through homeroom and the first thing I felt was
disappointed. I thought her nose would've been worse, but it looked relatively
undamaged. It was swollen, but there was no bruise or any other gross
disfigurement; she obviously had more talent with makeup than with her fists.

The teacher hadn't taken rollcall yet so she wasn't officially late. She just
walked in and took a quick glance around the room. She saw me sitting by myself
in the back corner. She looked at me, looked away, and looked back again. My
heart fluttered slightly and I looked down at my desk. The next time I looked
up she was sitting near the front with Angela.

Well. I hadn't expected her to walk in and throw a hand grenade at me, but I
had to admit I was relieved—or disappointed? I wasn't sure. I'd never had a
taste for drama, but it seemed anti-climatic somehow. What was the point of
violent confrontation if it doesn't resolve anything? Still, I suppose it was
too early to tell. There was still a whole Friday to struggle through and
Lauren would have plenty of opportunities to flatten me with a fire
extinguisher if she felt so inclined.

Classes continued and it didn't take me long to notice that Lauren was acting
weird. Not only did she refrain from sawing me to pieces in shop class, but she
appeared to have developed a fascination with my face; she seemed to be staring
at me an awful lot. Possibly she was admiring her handiwork on my lip. There
were traces of that same lunatic smirk she wore yesterday in her expression,
but there was a kind of shyness, too. Every time I'd look up, she'd look away,
but not quickly, lazily, as if she hadn't really been looking at me at all. One
time I kept watching her as she resumed chatting with her friends and it only
took her about ten seconds before she glanced at me again. She looked like she
wanted to come over and…talk to me?

It was all very weird and I tried not to think about it. Or blush about it. I
tried to tell myself it was a blush of discomfort, but deep down I knew I liked
it when she looked at me.

Before lunch I had math. So did Lauren. My last class was closer than hers, so
by the time she arrived I was already sitting down, quietly in the corner. Only
half the class had arrived so far and there was plenty of seats to chose from,
yet when Lauren came in, she hesitated. None of her regular friends were in
this class, but she still had plenty of options. There was no real reason why
she should hesitate. But she did. She looked at me, and looked away again. I
looked at her, and looked away again. We both looked at the same time and both
looked away, and then she glanced around the classroom once more, sighed, and
started toward me.

My heart stopped. Was this it? Fear froze me onto my chair. She'd had all
morning to plan my destruction and now it was coming. She carried no weapon
more menacing than a math textbook, but it was an advanced textbook and more
than thick enough to bludgeon a girl before class.

She didn't, of course. She sat down beside me and plonked her books on the
desk. She looked at me and her mouth twitched into a smile that she tried to
hide. She looked like she'd been dying to see me all day.

"Hey," she said, trying not to look at me.

I frowned, my heart racing. My mind faltered as I tried to puzzle out an
appropriate response, and in the end I nodded, my own lips flickering into a
smile. "Hey," I said.

And that was it. We fell silent and looked down at our textbooks, both of us
trying not to smile. Class hadn't even started yet. There was a weird
electricity crackling between us and I had no idea what was supposed to happen
from here. Was this the same girl who'd split my lip yesterday? Shouldn't I be
a little less eager to extend a friendly greeting? Shouldn't she?

I glanced at her, and now that she was this close I could see that her nose
really was pretty bad, all squashed and swollen. I wondered if it was broken,
but I didn't feel bad. All I felt was a quick flush of pride that made me smile
again.

I looked away quickly and when I glanced at her again I also noticed that she
was much paler than usual. Was it because of the nose bleed? Or did Jane
actually visit her last night?

I looked at her neck for bite marks and suddenly I froze. It wasn't the same
marks like Alice left on me, but on the side of her neck there was a small
laceration, a thin cut right over her pulse point. Did Jane do that? It had to
have been Jane, unless Lauren had nicked herself shaving. But why not a bite?
Too obvious? What had she done, cut her with a razor? Or were her teeth sharp
enough?

Had Lauren been aware? Alice liked to make sure that I was aware, but I
remembered how quickly I'd faded away after she'd bitten me. Did vampire saliva
had some kind of tranquillizer in it? Maybe Lauren had been asleep while Jane
did it. She couldn't possibly know what Jane was.

"What happened to your neck?" I asked hesitantly.

She touched the spot with her hand as if she knew exactly where it was, but she
didn't seem to know where it had come from. "I don't know," she said. Then she
grinned. "You probably scratched me or something yesterday. You fight like a
chick, you know that?"

I smirked. Her voice was slightly nasally, as if she had a cold, and I felt
another flicker of pride at the destruction I'd caused her perfect nose. "I am
a chick," I told her.

She snorted. "You're a fucking dyke, that's what you are."

I snorted back. "Better than what you are."

She smirked. "And what's that?"

I smirked back. "Blonde."

It was a bit weak, but Lauren chuckled. She seemed to be in a very good mood,
like the old Lauren, eager for friendly teasing. "Whatever," she said. "Go eat
a cheerleader, you stupid dyke."

I giggled to myself.

Lauren frowned. "What's so funny?"

"Alice is a cheerleader."

The mention of Alice made her face darken. "Yeah?" she grunted. "So am I."

I blushed and looked away. There was jealousy in her tone, so obvious that even
I could hear it. She seemed to realize and she looked down at the desk
awkwardly. We fell silent for a second and then she looked up and said:

"So Angela says the little bitch is buying you shit now."

Only ten minutes ago I would've been ready to break her head against the desk
for talking about Alice like that, but I guess I'd known that I was fooling
myself. I couldn't even summon up any anger. The jealousy in her last remark
had shaken me and suddenly I was tired. Why did she have to be such a bitch?

Her comment had reminded me of the collar I was wearing and I touched it self-
consciously. The bite marks were mostly healed, but I thought it was cool, so I
kept wearing it.

I frowned at Lauren. "Yeah," I said. "So?"

She glanced at the collar and snorted. "So, nothing," she said, looking away.
"You're a lucky dyke, that's all. I can't even get my boyfriend to buy me a
fucking soda."

I remembered that Angela had said the exact same thing—without swearing, of
course—and I wondered if they had rehearsed it ahead of time, or if there
really was some special relationship covenant in the romantic proffer of soda.
Come to think of it, Alice had never bought me a soda, either. She'd bought me
water, a milkshake, and champagne, but no soda. Maybe I should be bitching,
too.

I remembered that Lauren had never seemed really happy with her boyfriend, so I
smirked and shrugged. "Maybe you should get a new boyfriend."

She snorted bitterly. "Maybe I should get a fucking girlfriend."

For a second I was shocked, but she quickly laughed and passed it off as a
joke.

"What about you, huh? Maybe I should date you. You'd be desperate enough to buy
me shit, wouldn't you?"

I snorted cautiously. "I've already got a girlfriend."

"Yeah right." She was grinning, but she was also watching me closely, as if to
see my reaction. "You'd dump that slut in a second if you actually had a shot
with me"

I felt a weird floaty feeling in my stomach, but I shook my head, forcing
myself not to smile. "I don't think so."

She grinned. "Aww, come on," she said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and
pulling me closer flirtily. "You know I only tease you because I'm secretly in
love with you, right? I'm in denial, I can't help it. I get hot just thinking
about you. Whenever I'm with my boyfriend I'm always, like, shouting your name
out and shit."

I shrugged her off and shuffled my chair away slightly. "Whatever," I muttered,
blushing.

She laughed, her eyes twinkling like I'd never seen them twinkle before.
"Stupid dyke," she said, and by then the teacher was entering the classroom.

—

By lunch time I was incredibly happy to see Alice. The episode in math with
Lauren had been more draining than that fist fight we'd had yesterday, and I
wanted to get away from all of it. I was happy that we seemed to have returned
to a state of semi-friendship, but I was confused and my emotions were frayed.
I met Alice in the cafeteria and as her hand slipped into mine I almost sighed
in relief. It was a simple connection, but it focused my feelings into one
thing I could understand perfectly: Alice. Alice was the only thing I needed
and the only thing I wanted.

We stood in line with our trays and I looked across the cafeteria. I noticed
the Cullen table was lacking members; Jane and Leah. I smirked at Alice.

"Where's Leah and Jane today?" I asked.

Alice smiled. "Well, Leah's with Jane, and I told Jane she better not show her
face around me or you for a while. I'm not very happy with her, as you could
imagine."

I chuckled once. I didn't ask for details, but I was happy for Alice. "So
when's next practice?" I asked as the line moved.

"Oh, it doesn't matter," she said. "I've decided to quit the squad."

I was surprised and I felt bad for some reason. "Is it my fault?" I asked,
worried it was because of what happened with Lauren.

"Of course it's not your fault," Alice said sternly. "It's those trolls. I was
kidding myself to think I could have fun with a group like that. Highschool
cheerleading sucks, anyway. I'll wait till college. It's always more fun in
college."

It was a slow line and we halted right in the middle. Alice turned to me
questioningly, but I didn't know why I'd stopped. For some reason I didn't want
her to quit the squad. She'd been so happy to be a part of it, and even if it
was fake happiness, I didn't want her to stop just because of me.

"But you like cheerleading," I said. "And you're really good at it."

Alice shrugged. "It doesn't matter," she said. Then she smiled and squeezed my
hand. "Besides, all I really need is you, right?"

"Well, yeah," I said, "but maybe you should give it a few more practices. I
mean, they're not that bad." Then I was hit with a bolt of inspiration; I
squeezed her hand, smiled, and said: "Besides, I haven't even seen you in your
uniform yet."

She could see I was trying to convince her and she didn't want to be too
stubborn. She shrugged indecisively. "I don't want to be around people who were
so mean to you."

But none of that mattered to me. Lauren was the only person who could really
hurt me, and that might not even be a problem anymore. "I can take care of
myself, Alice," I said. "If you like cheerleading, you should do that. They'll
warm up to you eventually."

She smiled shyly. "You think so?"

"Sure," I said encouragingly. Then I smirked. "Even Lauren maybe."

She giggled once. "Well," she said. "Maybe you're right."

I smiled, happy to have convinced her. Sure, cheerleading was stupid, but Alice
liked it, and that was enough for me. The lunch line moved and as we shuffled
forward I looked out over the cafeteria again. I noticed Lauren looking at me,
glaring at my hand clasped with Alice's, but she looked away as my eyes passed
over her table. I smirked and turned to Alice.

"Hey, Alice," I said. "Could you buy me a soda?"

"Sure," Alice said happily. "What kind do you want?"

To be honest, it didn't matter what kind. I was only trying to prove a point;
Alice is absolutely perfect, and Lauren can go to hell if she has a problem
with that.

—

***** Chapter 8 *****
—

Chapter 8:

—

Alice came to me Friday night, and again Saturday morning while I was in the
shower. We had sex that afternoon in the backseat of her car, and she came to
me again that same night, climbing through my window and crawling into my bed
like a fantasy, all soft and naked, smiling excitedly. She'd been coming
through my window for six night's running and she was close to fucking me into
permanent slavitude. I didn't know if my own technique was sufficient to chain
her into a similar submission, but I'd learnt a lot since our first night
together, and she seemed very satisfied once I got through with her.

We were laying with our heads on the same pillow, all curled up with our legs
entwined. I was bathed in a sweet glow of lavender warmth and I could feel her
bare leg between mine and her bare breast pressing onto mine. I was wearing
nothing but my collar and she was stroking my hair idly as she always did. I
felt like purring, but instead I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her close,
and said:

"I love you, Alice."

My voice came out in a love softened sigh and the words were never truer. I
could feel my love for her like a physical thing in my chest, a warm ember of
smoldering slavishness. After such a hectic week at school and all the drama
with Lauren, it was nice to relax in the arms of the sexiest female on earth.

She giggled and kissed me once on the lips. "Really?" she asked flirtily. "Is
that so?"

"Mmhm," I murmured happily. "I could hold you forever."

"That's nice to know," she whispered. "Because that may be your fate exactly."

I smiled. I couldn't imagine a nicer fate, to be physically manacled to Alice
forevermore, handcuffed for all eternity. Sheer bliss. "I can't wait," I told
her. "Does that mean you're going to…"

"To what?"

"To turn me?" I asked. I blushed suddenly. I felt silly to ask, but I was
curious. She kept talking about how we were going to be together forever, but
eternity was going to be pretty short if I get old and die or have a heart
failure from so much sex. "You know, turn me into a vampire?"

She sighed softly and kept stroking my hair. "Well, that's something we'll have
to talk about later," she said. "You're much too young to make that kind of
decision, even if the decision itself is simply a formality."

"What do you mean, formality?"

"I mean, the decision is already made. Somewhere deep in your heart you've
already decided. Or destiny will decide for you. Either way."

Ah, more destiny stuff. Well, she was probably right, anyway. I didn't even
need to look deep in my heart, it was written there on the surface. Forever
with Alice? Eternal youth and beauty? Fuck yes, the decision's already made.

"Yeah, I guess," I said. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

She giggled once. "Of course."

I hesitated because I was a little embarrassed. "Will being a vampire make me,
you know…hotter?"

A vain concern, but rather important. I was happy in my own skin, of course,
but I'd trade it in a second for better skin—especially if I didn't have to
diet or work out.

Alice's response was kind of typical. "You're perfect the way you are," she
said, but she gave me a quick kiss, so I didn't roll my eyes. "But yes," she
added, "vampirism will make you hotter."

"That's cool. How does that work exactly? Would my body, like, mutate?"

"No, Bella," she said, with a smile in her voice. "You won't mutate."

She didn't elaborate, and I was too embarrassed to ask for details. It seemed
kind of simple, anyway. Vampire's don't eat so I could probably count on losing
a few pounds. But I was pretty thin already. What I really needed was a bit of
toning—and longer legs, of course. I love long legs. Like Alice's. She was very
short, but her legs were visibly longer than her torso. She was incredible.

Alice had utilized the moment of silence to kiss my cheek tenderly and now she
was trailing kisses along my neck. I felt her lips on my collar and I wondered
again when she was going to bite me. The bites mark were almost gone and it had
been over a week since last time. I didn't want her to get that thirsty again;
she'd gotten very wild that night.

"Hey," I whispered. "Can I ask you a question?"

She giggled again. "Of course."

"When are you going to bite me again?"

It was pitch black in the room and we were whispering very quietly so mom
wouldn't hear. Alice shifted against me, cuddling closer, and I heard her sigh
softly. "I'm not sure," she said. "It'll have to be soon. Why do you ask?"

To be honest, I wasn't sure. I think it was because I wanted her to do it
again. I knew that blood was what she wanted most of all and I wanted her to
have it. But I was also a little embarrassed about the whole thing. I didn't
like to think of myself as food. I don't mind being a sex slave and a doormat,
but food seems a little too demeaning.

"I was just wondering," I said. "Is it gonna be like last time?"

I was a little anxious about that. Last time was awesome beyond description—but
kind of an ordeal. Doing it all over again probably wouldn't be as great as the
first time.

"No," she whispered. "Last time was special. It was… a demonstration of
commitment. Next time it'll be more casual. And less dangerous, hopefully. Are
you afraid?"

I shook my head in the dark. Her hand had moved from my hair and now it was
cupping my breast, stroking it gently. I'd never been afraid of her, and I
doubted I ever would. Vampire or not, she treated me nicer than I ever would've
assumed anyone would. "No," I said, covering her hand with my own and holding
it at my breast. "I just wanted you to know that I'm ready. Whenever you want."

"Thank you," she said, and placed a long kiss on my mouth. "But listen," she
went on. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

I closed my eyes and sighed. I was getting sleepy, but I wasn't ready to sleep
yet. I wanted to hold her more. "Mm?" I murmured.

"Well, I was wondering if you had any plans for tomorrow night."

I giggled languidly. "I was planning to do anything you wanted."

"Even if I wanted to invite you for dinner at my place tomorrow night?"

I opened my eyes and blinked, waiting for my mind to catch up. Dinner at
Alice's place. Why would that thought cause a tiny shiver to run through me?
Oh, because of her sisters. The tall blonde who hates me, the small blonde who
likes me but teases me anyway, and the redhead who looks at me as if I hadn't
been trained very well. Leah was kind of cool, at least, but she was obviously
too cool to be friends with someone like me.

And Alice wanted me to sit at a dinner table with these people? How can she be
sure they won't eat me alive and spit out the bones? It seemed like a terrible
risk. Overall, I think I'd prefer a quiet night with Alice and Alice's body.

"Oh," I said, because I had to say something. "Will your, um, sisters be
there?"

I felt her body giggle once. "Well, that's kind of the point," she said. "I
know you've already met all of them, but I wanted to present you to my whole
family at once as my serious girlfriend. Formally. I want them all to know how
serious I am about you, and I want them to treat you that way."

I glowed at the idea of being Alice's serious girlfriend, but it was probably
still too early to ask if I could bare her children, so I just grinned and
said: "Oh. Okay."

Alice stroked my shoulder. "I know you probably don't have a great impression
of them so far," she said, "but it would be great for you to get to know them.
And for them to get to know you."

"Why?"

Another soft giggle. "Well, if we're all going to spend eternity together some
day, it might be wise to begin forming a basic tolerance of one another, what
do you think?"

I chuckled. "I guess that makes sense," I said, but inwardly I wondered if her
sisters actually would put up with me for eternity. Why were they so cold,
anyway? If they knew that I was going to be one of them one day, shouldn't they
be a little friendlier?

Alice snuggled and sighed. "Also, I want to flaunt you."

Huh?

It seemed like such an odd thing to say that it took a moment for my mind to
switch gears. Flaunt me? What, like a new outfit? I frowned a little. "What do
you mean, flaunt me?"

"You know," she said. "You're my girlfriend. You're pretty. I want to flaunt
you. Believe it or not, you're an awesome catch, Bella. Especially for a
vampire. You're perfect."

I felt slightly objectified, which was funny because I always thought being
objectified was a bad thing. It felt pretty good to me, even if I wondered how
true it was. I'd never considered myself desirable, but I guess vampire's had
different taste. Alice had once said they liked vulnerability and stuff, and I
did have plenty of that, so maybe I really was a decent catch. "Really?" I
asked.

"Mmhm," she murmured. "You're wonderful. But mostly I just want my family to
know that I'm serious about you. Esme still isn't exactly approving, and
Rosalie's still being a bitch, and even Vicky and Jane are still jealous. So
maybe it'll be nice for all of us to spend some time together, and get to know
each other. What do you think?"

"Yeah," I said. "I guess that makes sense, too."

Alice sighed and snuggled against me under the covers. "But don't worry," she
said. "I won't make you uncomfortable. Most of them already like you and I'll
even make Rosalie promise to be nice."

I snorted. I couldn't picture that girl trying to be nice. I couldn't even
picture what a smile would look like on her. "I tried talking to her at school
the other day," I told her. "She would even look at me."

Alice giggled. "I know," she said. "But you have to understand that it's not
you. It's me. They're upset with me."

Another puzzled frown crossed my face in the dark. "Why?"

Alice shrugged slightly. I felt her breast move against me and I wrapped my arm
around her instinctively. The contact of skin on skin was incredible. I still
couldn't get over how warm and smooth she felt against me.

"I'm not really sure," she said. "We've been together for a very long time. Our
feelings are very deep. They don't like it when I date humans. So many things
could go wrong. Once upon a time they would've smiled at me for spending time
with someone else and wish me the best of luck, but now…"

I took a hit to my self-esteem at the mention of other people, but quickly
reminded myself to be mature. She's a two hundred year old vampire; of course
she's been with other people. It just sucked that, statistically speaking, they
were all probably cuter than me. I probably shouldn't pry—and it probably
wasn't the most important thing right now—but I couldn't help myself. "So
you've had other girlfriends?" I asked.

"Yes," she whispered. I felt her kiss my cheek and then she whispered into my
ear. "I wish I could've reserved myself solely for you," she whispered in a
sultry tone, "but loneliness is my greatest fear. I needed someone. Anyone."

Her leg was nestled snuggly between mine and I felt excited at the idea of her
'reserving herself' for me. It was complete stupidity, of course—very dumb and
old fashioned—but I knew she was a melodramatic kind of girl, and it was nice
to hear it. The weird thing was how sincere she sounded. She sounded like she
truly wished she'd saved herself, but then again, maybe that made a little
sense. Virgin brides were a big deal two hundred years ago.

To be honest, I didn't really care if she'd had other girlfriends. I was happy
that she hadn't been alone all those years, and I was happy for those other
chicks, too. Alice is awesome, everybody should date her.

"Does it bother you that I've had other relationships?" she asked quietly, as
if she was actually insecure. Either she was acting, or she didn't understand
that she was way prettier than me and it really didn't matter if I was bothered
or not. I assumed she was acting, and decided to indulge her.

"Of course not," I whispered back, giving her a little squeeze. "Why would it
bother me?"

She sighed and laid her head against my shoulder. "I don't know. It bothers
me."

I frowned confusedly, realizing that maybe she wasn't acting, after all. Why
would having other girlfriend's bother her? I hesitated slightly, and then
asked: "It does?"

She sighed again, her breath passing over my chest in the dark. "Yes," she
whispered. "You'll probably think I'm silly, but I've always had these ideas
about what true love really is. About ways to express that kind of love. Over
the years my ideas have become very radical. Too radical, maybe."

I found myself fascinated. I'd never given much thought to true love or
anything like that—I'd never really believed in it—but I was very interested in
Alice's ideas. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"Oh, just silly things," she said with a little giggle. "Things like virginity.
It means a lot to me that I took yours and I would've loved it if you had taken
mine."

I tried to understand that and I couldn't do it—not in one or two seconds,
anyway. To be honest, I'd almost forgotten that Alice had taken my virginity. I
was hardly aware I'd had any virginity to start with. All I really remembered
about that night was Alice herself. "That stuff doesn't matter," I said,
thinking it would make her feel better—and realizing as soon as I said it that
I was basically contradicting her. I felt like kicking myself, but she only
giggled.

"I know," she whispered. "But still, these are the things I think about.
There's never been much else on my mind. I have no career, no family, no kids,
no mortgage, no rent, no bills, no obligations in the world at all. It's no
exaggeration to say that my sole motivation for existing is to simply find my
one true love and love her with all my heart."

I smiled and felt confident enough to place a quick kiss on her forehead. "And
now you've found me. Right?"

She giggled and snuggled in closer, throwing one of her legs over my body
possessively. "Yes," she said. "Now I have you. You'll never leave me, will you
Bella?"

"Of course not," I said, and I totally meant it. I couldn't picture any
situation for the rest of my life where I wouldn't want to be with Alice.

"Good," she whispered, placing a kiss on my lips. "Do you promise?"

"Of course," I said, feeling my heart throb with love. It felt really great to
say this stuff out loud, and I was starting to understand her flair for
melodrama. "I love you, Alice."

"Mmm," she moaned pleasurably. She tried to snuggle even closer, but she
couldn't do it, so she straddled my hips and lay with all her weight against
me, covering me in her warmth. "Good," she whispered, kissing the corner of my
mouth. "That's good. Because I couldn't bare it if you ever left me. I've been
hurt too many times. My heart has become very hard over the years, but not hard
like stone. Hard like glass. It breaks very easily."

I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her close. My body felt like it was
glowing. "I'd never hurt you," I whispered.

She kissed my lips. "Never?"

"Never."

Another kiss, longer this time. "Do you promise?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?" Her lips were pressed against mine and I felt them smile. "It
might be harder not to hurt me than you think. I'm very fragile."

My mind was spinning so bad that it took a second to remember what she was
talking about. My hands were roaming over her back and I was kind of distracted
by how much I loved her. "I promise, Alice," I repeated.

"I believe you," she whispered. Then she giggled and stopped kissing me. "So
you'll come to dinner tomorrow night?"

I froze briefly. Did I just get played? I blinked and looked up, but it was
pitch black, and Alice giggled at my silence.

"Please?" she whispered. "I'd be so hurt if you didn't…"

I chuckled softly. Yep, played like a piano.

But I couldn't be mad. For one thing she was still naked and laying on top of
me, and for another, there was never really any choice in the matter. She
didn't need to manipulate me; all she had to do was ask. I would've said yes,
anyway—in fact, I would've said yes even if she told me to drink poison and
jump in a volcano. I'd do anything to make her happy, and dinner with her
snobby sisters and disapproving mother shouldn't be too much of a sacrifice.

"Of course I'll be there, Alice," I told her, stroking her naked back.

She giggled and rewarded me with another kiss. "Thank you. It'll be fun, I
promise."

I doubted that, but you never know. At the very least there'll be five
beautiful women to ogle in addition to Alice. I wonder if Alice really was the
sexiest one of the bunch? The blonde and the redhead might have a slight edge,
especially the redhead. The blonde was slightly taller, but she was also very
slender. The redhead had curves that seemed to defy realistic anatomy. Her
combination of bra-size and hip-waist measurements was just flat out fantasy.
No real-life woman could ever look like that.

But I wasn't about to tell my naked girlfriend that the only practical reason I
could come up with to attend dinner with her family was to leer at her sisters,
so I just sighed and said: "If you say so."

"It will, trust me," she said, placing another kiss on my lips. Then she
shifted off me and settled at my side, tucking a leg between mine and cupping a
breast. "What time shall I pick you up?"

"Oh, that's okay," I said, clasping her hand and closing my eyes. "I'll borrow
mom's car."

"Are you sure?"

"Mmhm. I like to drive."

"Yeah, but…"

"But what?"

"Well," she whispered, placing a kiss on my bare shoulder. "I was thinking. If
we take my car we could have a quickie in the backseat before dinner. Wouldn't
that be nice? Besides, it'll be extra time together in the car. Wouldn't you
rather drive with me than drive all alone?"

"Oh," I said, feeling my heart jolt. "Um, yeah. That would be cool."

"Okay. How's seven o'clock?"

"Seven's good."

Her hand had moved up and she was stroking my hair again, petting me gently. I
sighed, feeling myself get sleepy under her hand.

"Okay," she whispered. "Will you dress sexy?"

Once again she caught me off guard. I opened one eye, but it was still pitch
black. "Excuse me?"

She giggled softly. "Would you mind dressing sexy? It's kind of a waste of an
opportunity if you don't. We'll make it a proper dinner party, okay?"

I had some doubts if I was even capable of dressing sexy, but I said: "Fine,
I'll dress sexy."

"Thanks. And you'll wear makeup?"

"Yes, I'll wear makeup."

"Thanks. You're so sweet." She raised up slightly and placed long kiss on my
mouth. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you too, Alice," I murmured with a sleepy smile.

It would've been a line to end the night, but Alice seemed to be getting a
little chatty. "You know, Esme and Carlisle will be there, too," she said,
still stroking my hair. "Esme's a wonderful cook, and I'm sure Carlisle would
love to see you again. You made a good impression when you met him at the
hospital that time. He was really impressed by how you handled yourself. He's
always been more supportive of me than the others. I'm his favorite."

I smiled. "Leah said everybody likes you," I whispered. Especially the blonde
and the redhead. What was it she'd said? Sisters within sisters.

Alice giggled. "Well, that's true I guess. But me and Carlisle go way back.
He's like a father to me."

"That's nice."

"Yeah. Hey, you like literature and poetry and stuff, right?"

"Yeah," I said, which was true enough. Books were my most common pastime—aside
from getting sweaty with Alice—and I'd always claimed that I love reading,
although deep down I didn't have any real passion for it. It was a self-image
thing. Since middle school I'd gone through a variety of identity crisis's and
after several attempts at various hobbies, I'd decided that reading suited me
best. It was clean, indoors, private, and faux-intellectual. What more could a
fledgling emo want?

My favorite genre was classical literature, of course, mostly because I liked
the idea of being the kind of girl who reads classical literature. People who
read classics were obviously much smarter than people who read other stuff,
after all, and that was important when you really have nothing else in your
life to be proud about.

Poetry, on the other hand, was something different. Poetry was my real hobby,
but only secretly. I hadn't told Alice about it, and I was so self-conscious
that not even mom knew. I hated to admit it even to myself. Not only did I like
reading the stuff—and that was bad enough—but I liked writing it, too. Even for
a depressed teenage girl, a love of poetry was simply too pretentious, even
from my own perspective.

I also sucked at it pretty bad, so obviously I could never let anyone read any
of the stuff I'd written. Some of them mentioned girls—or parts of girls—so I
definitely couldn't let mom see them, and forget Alice. Alice was a decent
actress, but even if she claimed to like them, I'd never believe her. More than
that, I cared about Alice, and I wouldn't feel right forcing her to endure the
moronic verses I'd scribbled into my notebook in my spare time. I'm not a
sadist and I wouldn't torture her like that.

So I kept my hobby to myself. As far as Alice knew, I only liked to read. But
why was that relevant now? I didn't know, but Alice didn't keep me waiting.

She snuggled closer in the dark and adjusted the covers. "Well, I was
thinking," she said. "Carlisle keeps an impressive library, and he's got a
whole bunch of antique first editions. You know, Jane Austin, Henry James,
those kinds of people. I bet he'd love to show you."

I actually felt a little excited at that. Like I said, my love of literature is
rooted in an attempt at sophistication, and the idea of witnessing rare first
editions appealed to my inward pretentiousness. I smiled and said: "Really?
That would be awesome."

"He's even got some antique Shakespeare folios," Alice said. "You like
Shakespeare, right?"

Actually, I hated the punk, but I like the fact that liking him makes me seem
intellectual. "I love Shakespeare," I said.

Alice gave a little snort, and she almost sounded just a bit jealous, as if she
hated to hear the word love out of my mouth when it wasn't directed at her.
"Well, I've always thought he's a little overrated," she said, "but to each
their own."

I fought the urge to quickly take it all back, but it would've only made me
seem stupider.

"You know, Jane's actually seen Shakespeare at the theater," she went on.
"Maybe she could tell you some stories."

"Cool," I said, although I think I'd prefer to avoid the demonic little blonde
at all costs.

"Mmm," Alice murmured, kissing me on the lips. I started to respond, but then
she rolled onto her back and pulled me on top of her. "Come here," she
whispered. "Give me your leg."

I wasn't sure if she expected me to chop it off and hand it over, so I just
moved my knee in her general direction under the covers. Her hand hooked under
my thigh and she guided my leg between hers, and then she settled with her arms
around me and sighed happily. I was laying at her side, almost on top of her,
and, feeling bold, I kissed her cheek.

"Better?" I asked.

"Much," she giggled. "So you'll be there? Seven o'clock?"

I chuckled once. "Of course I'll be there."

"Thanks. It really means a lot to me. Hold my breast."

I did as she asked, cupping her breast with my left hand. I brushed my thumb
over her nipple idly, but I hadn't lost the thread of the conversation. "Are
you sure your sisters won't mind me being there?" I asked. "I don't want to
annoy anyone."

I was only really worried about the tall blonde, but I figured the redhead and
maybe even Leah might object to my presence as well. I wasn't very good
company, and they seemed to have high standards. Besides, as much I like to
think of myself as an adult, I'm just a dumb kid. I really doubted I had
anything to contribute to a dinner party of ageless vampires.

"Of course they won't mind," Alice assured me in overly gentle tones that
didn't really set me at ease. "Don't worry about them, okay? Jane can be really
sweet when you get to know her, and Leah already likes you. Vicky likes you
too, but she's afraid of upsetting Rose by saying it out loud."

I wondered how true that was. Leah seemed to be able to tolerate me, but like
me? It seemed a little optimistic. And the redhead likes me too? That wasn't
the impression I'd gotten. From the couple times we'd met it felt more like she
was amused at me.

To be honest, I didn't really care about how the redhead felt about me. I was
more intrigued by how she felt about the blonde, and I figured there'd never be
a better chance to ask Alice than now.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?"

Alice giggled. "You know you can, Bella," she said, then added: "And keep going
with my nipple. I like that."

I'd been tracing a circle around it with my thumb, but I'd paused to ask the
question. Now I kept going, and said: "Are Victoria and Rosalie…you know?
Together?"

I almost cringed at how much I sounded like Angela, but at least I asked. I
felt a curious floaty feeling in my stomach as I waited for the answer, and I
realized that I really wanted them to be a couple. It would be such an awesome
thing if they were together.

Alice giggled once. "They're lovers, yes," she said, and I actually felt relief
roll over me in a wave. Suddenly the world seem like a much cooler place. "Why
do you ask?"

I shrugged slightly, still toying with her nipple. "Just curious. They always
seem to be together."

"Mmm," Alice agreed. "They have a very special relationship. You could say
they're friends with benefits, but I think they're more like soulmates with
benefits. They're feelings for each other transcend things like sex or dating.
It's really a beautiful relationship. Completely unconditional. I envy them in
some ways."

I listened with a slowly sinking heart. The main thing I understood was that
both of them were sexually available to people like, say, Alice, and that
really didn't seem like a good thing for me. I swallowed nervously. "Oh," I
said. "So, um…Have you ever…?"

Alice slid a hand along my body to cup my butt idly and then slid it back to my
waist and started caressing me. "Have I ever what, baby?"

I swallowed again. "I mean, have you ever, like…been interested in them?"

She didn't answer for a moment. Her hand had stopped caressing me, but then it
started again. "I've known them a long time," she whispered finally. "And yes,
were periods in my life when I was interested in them. Especially Rosalie.
Rosalie was…" She hesitated and then very quietly she said: "Rosalie was very
special to me."

As she spoke, I felt a strange surge of pity for her, although I had no idea
why. It was the way she said it, so vague and quiet. I got the impression that
maybe there some there tragedy between them, a misunderstanding, a broken heart
or two. I really didn't feel jealous or anything like that, and I thought maybe
she might want to talk about it, so I made my voice caringly inquisitive and
asked: "What do you mean?"

She didn't answer for a second and then she sighed softly. "I'm sorry," she
said. "but do you mind if we don't talk about this? You have a right to know
about my relationship history, of course, but I really can't talk about it now.
It's not fair on Rosalie. It's not really fair on me, either. And what does it
matter, anyway? I hate my past, even the good parts. It's one of the drawbacks
of immortality. If you live long enough you'll eventually be betrayed by every
memory. Nothing is sacred. Every step you take distances you from the things
you love until it becomes skeptical that you ever loved them in the first
place. Rosalie and I used to be so close. And now…"

She trailed off, and I felt really sad for her, although I still didn't know
why. I didn't know what to say, either, and eventually I said: "Sorry. I was
just curious."

She broke the tension with a giggle and wrapped her arms around me. "That's
okay," she whispered. "I'm being silly. There's no point mourning for things
that never were. Especially when I have you now. But listen, don't worry about
Rose and Vicky, okay? They're great and I really love them, but there's only
one girl I want; you. You're the only girl for me, Bella."

She said it soft and intense, and I didn't have time to doubt her. She cupped
my cheek and drew me into a kiss, as if to punctuate the statement, and it was
such a beautiful kiss that I thought nothing at all for as long as it lasted.
She pressed her lips flush against mine and held them there firmly. She moaned
softly as she moved her face slightly and then she broke away.

"I love you, Bella."

Our lips were less than an inch apart, and I was starting to get excited all
over again, but there was one more thing I wanted to know. "I love you, too," I
whispered. "But can I ask you one more thing?"

"Of course, baby. I've already said you can ask me anything."

"I know, it's just… It's a bit personal."

She giggled. "You're my girlfriend, Bella," she told me. I was still laying
almost on top of her, and I could feel her in the dark, toying with my hair,
spreading it over her chest. "You're allowed to ask me personal stuff."

"Well, I was just wondering," I whispered. "Does Rosalie…still love you?"

Alice sighed. "It's complicated," she said. "To be honest, it's not really love
that she feels for me. It's more like loyalty. I met her during a very
vulnerable period in her life. I made her lots of promises. I didn't even keep
most of them, but she feels like she owes me, anyway." She sighed again. "It's
complicated," she repeated. "But listen, don't worry about Rose, okay? Her
feelings for me are very respectful, and she's much too proud to try and steal
me away from you or anything. Unrequited love suits her, anyway. It lends her a
certain elegance. Wouldn't you say?"

I'd listened very closely, but there was still so much I didn't understand. So
I just shrugged, and said: "I guess."

Alice giggled and started stroking my back. "Is there anything else you'd like
to know, baby?"

"Well, what about Victoria?"

"What about her?"

"Does she like you?"

"Oh, Vicky adores me. Unlike Rose, however, Vicky's feelings are mostly,
well…physical."

I gulped. "Physical?"

Alice giggled, still stroking my back. "Mm," she said. "We used to be lovers
until she traded up for Rose. We're just friend's now, but she still maintains
a hearty interest in my body. She's into that BDSM stuff, and I always did make
a lovely sub."

I lay there frozen in my girlfriend's arms. To be honest, I had no idea how I
should feel about all this. It was a lot of information, and most of it
disturbing. Basically, as far as I could tell, my girlfriend is roommates with
not one, but two of her exes; one of them a centerfold redhead and the other a
supermodel blonde—and both of which who still harbored feelings for either her
heart or her body. I could trust Alice with my life, sure, but could I really
trust her to not hook up with one of these goddesses? I wouldn't trust myself,
that's for sure.

And what the hell is BDSM? I was pretty sure it wasn't a kind of music, or the
acronym for a government agency. It sounded ominous, whatever it was. I
couldn't decide if I should make a mental note to look it up on wikipedia
sometime or just pretend I never heard it. It was probably something sexual and
I'd rather not have stuff like that on my browser history. It was bad enough
having it in my girlfriend's history.

"O-oh," I stuttered.

She giggled and pulled me on top of her. "Come here," she whispered, and I
straddled her hips and lay on top of her, the same as she did to me before. I
let my breasts press against hers and I must be a remarkably shallow person
because that was enough to drive away most of my mixed feelings, leaving behind
a simple warmth. "Listen," she whispered, wrapping her arms around me tightly.
"I know this must be a bit of a shock to you, but I don't want you to worry.
That's why I'm being honest. I'd never cheat on you and I'll never love anyone
but you. Okay?"

My face warmed at her words and despite the ridiculousness of the claim I
really did feel at ease. Alice had never given me any reason to doubt her
before. For almost a whole month she'd been dating me and having sex with me on
a frequent basis. You wouldn't do that unless you loved someone. I believed
her, so I smiled shyly in the dark, and whispered: "Okay."

"Good," she whispered. "Do you want me to promise?"

The whispered question made me blush even more. "You don't have to," I told
her, and she really didn't. I trusted her.

But Alice only squeezed me insistently. "I want to promise," she said. "Make me
promise."

I smiled; more melodrama. "Okay," I said. "Promise."

She giggled. "Promise what?"

"Promise you'll never cheat on me."

"And?"

"And that you'll always love me."

She placed a long kiss on my lips and said: "I promise. Now you have to
promise, too."

"I promise."

"Promise what?"

I snorted in amusement. Really, it was such a ridiculous thing to promise. Did
she honestly think I'd ever feel the urge to cheat on someone as hot and
amazing as her? Did she really think I could ever love anyone else? I'd made
these promises in my heart ages ago, from the very first second I saw her, but
she wanted to hear it out loud, so I placed a kiss on her lips—just like the
one she'd given me—and I said: "I promise I'll never cheat on you and I'll
never love anyone but you. You're the only one for me."

"Good," she giggled. "That's good. Now, come here…"

She pulled me into a kiss and I felt her tongue glide against my lips. I opened
my mouth dutifully and let it inside, responding to the kiss as her fingers
laced into my hair. She moaned and rolled me onto my back, settling between my
legs.

"Wanna make love again?" she whispered into my lips, arching her body against
mine. "To seal our promise?"

"Okay," I breathed.

She kissed me again and again I opened my mouth for her tongue. She broke the
kiss quickly.

"Are you sure?" she whispered. "It's getting late."

"I don't care."

Another kiss. Her hand cupped my breast and squeezed it.

"Okay," she whispered. "And remember, seven o'clock tomorrow."

"I will."

"And you'll dress sexy?"

"Mmhm."

"Good. And go wild with your outfit, okay? We'll all be dressed up, too, so
don't be embarrassed. A dinner party with vampires should be treated as a semi-
formal occasion."

"Okay."

"Mmm," she moaned, kissing me deeply. "I love you so much, Bella."

"I love you too, Alice," I whispered, and reached for her ass.

—

Alice was gone when I woke up and I'd woken because I was cold. It was dim in
the room—early morning—and I was still naked. Usually I put my clothes back on
before falling asleep, but I'd been a little exhausted last night. Alice had a
knack for lulling a girl into sweet oblivion. It was still too early to
actually get up, so I grabbed my clothes off the floor sleepily, got changed,
and staggered back into bed, sighing on the pillow with thoughts of Alice in my
head. I'd been dreaming of her before I woke and I dreamt of her again when I
went back to sleep. Alice, Alice, Alice.

It was almost noon when I actually got up. I'd slept for eleven hours, but that
wasn't so rare for me on weekends. I like sleeping and I didn't really have
anything else to do except chores.

I could hear the drone of the vacuum cleaner as I plodded down the hall to the
bathroom, and eventually I found mom in the living room, zooming across the
carpet with the efficiency and purpose of a professional mother. I said good
morning, promised to help after breakfast, and went into the kitchen for a bowl
of cold cereal. While I ate, I thought about Alice, and I remembered all the
sweet things she'd said to me last night, and I felt such a glow of love in my
stomach that it almost made it hard to eat. I even sighed to myself a couple
times.

I kept thinking about last night, and I remembered all that stuff she'd said
about her sisters. The blonde and the redhead. I tried to manufacture a little
anxiety about the fact that there were two supermodels out there who still had
feelings for my girlfriend, but I couldn't do it—not after all those promises
Alice had made. How many times had she told me she loved me last night? Quite a
few. My sense of self-worth was still practically nil, but I think I actually
believed her. I mean, seriously; was it really unthinkable that I might be more
lovable than I thought? I was relatively pretty and I was certainly eager to
please, which was probably a desirable combination. The only real argument
against me was the fact that Alice could do much better. Anyone with eyesight
would be eager to please a girl like Alice, and there were plenty of girls out
there who were prettier than me, better dressed than me, and more confident
than me. Girls like, well, Rosalie or Victoria. Alice's roommates and
bestfriends who were still slightly in love with her. Either of them would make
a way better girlfriend than me. I mean, I wasn't even in their league.
Actually, it was kind of stupid to date someone like me when both of them were
available. But Alice said she wasn't interested in them, so… So, I mean… Well…

Okay, now I was starting to feel the anxiety. And why is she living with two of
her ex girlfriends, anyway? Is that normal? It can't be healthy, to have the
possibilities right there like that. But what could I do? Ask her to move out
and live with me and mom? No, no, I'm being an idiot. Alice promised she'd
never cheat on me, and she'd told me that neither of them were really in love
with her. It was just lust and loyalty, and there was nothing wrong with
that—well, the lusty redhead was a little disturbing. But Alice said she wasn't
interested, so there was no point worrying. Besides, Rosalie and Victoria were
together. With benefits, of course, but still; they were a couple. They
wouldn't cheat on each other—but then again, isn't that the definition of
benefits? But who cares what they do, anyway. Alice certainly wouldn't cheat on
me, or dump me. No matter how hot they were. She loved me, like she said. Why
would she need anyone else when she had me?

Er, me? And what was so special about me, exactly?

Well, um. I really loved her, for one thing. I had good features and nice dark
hair. I didn't work out, but I walked to school everyday so my legs were in
decent shape, and I was pretty thin. And my boobs were big—well, big for a
sixteen year old. Alice certainly seemed pleased with me, and I doubt she was
just being nice. But could I really compete with the blonde and the redhead? I
didn't think so. They had me beat in pretty much every category. They were
tall, long limbed, statuesque. They even out-swelled me in the chest area. The
blonde would easily match my bra-size and the redhead eclipsed me by quite a
few inches. Her tits were huge, frankly, and both of them had asses that would
blind you if you looked at them directly. They were amazing, pure and simple. I
was just human.

But none of that mattered, not really. Alice loved me, that was the key thing.
We were soulmates and we were, like, destined and stuff. Besides, the blonde
was a total bitch, and the redhead was likely riddled with all kinds of
personality flaws. Alice probably didn't even like them.

But she did like them, though, didn't she? She loved them—not like that, but
still. She liked them enough to spend eternity in the same house with them.
Which would probably indicate that their company wasn't unbearable.

But no, Alice loved me, and I loved her. Besides, if Alice said she wasn't
interested in them, why shouldn't I believe her? She's had plenty of
opportunities to be with them and she obviously preferred being with me—for
now, at least. And she did promise that she'd never love anyone but me. Which
was really sweet. She also promised that I was the only girl for her—the only
girl. As in, just me. It was good that she knew that, even though we'd only
been together a month. But could she really be so positive? I was definitely
sure that Alice was the only girl for me, but it's not like I had a whole lot
of options at this point in my life. Alice had plenty of options—two of them
were living right across the hall from her bedroom. How could I be the only
girl for her?

Difficult questions, and they totally ruined my breakfast. Still, I choked it
all down and washed the bowl, deciding to try and forget about it. It was best
to simply have faith in Alice. She promised she wouldn't ever leave me, and if
she did, well, I could always cry about it and kill myself.

The niggling anxiety remained with me while I slaved through my usual Sunday
chores—dusting stuff, cleaning my room—and while I worked I contemplated how
sad it was that I'm so insecure. Alice had specifically promised to be faithful
to me so I wouldn't worry, and here I was worrying. And worrying for no reason.
I needed to be mature about this. Alice was a two hundred year old vampire; she
was perfectly capable of deciding who she loved and who to spend her time with.
She was wise, she was mature. Then again, she was also kind of slutty, so would
it really be unthinkable for her to slip into her sisters' bed some night for a
little sisterly affection?

Just the thought of it was enough to cause a twitch of interest between my
legs—and I'm the one who was supposed to be worried. What if the thought
excited Alice? Would she actually do something like that? Was is really
possible? I didn't know, but I couldn't help wondering, and as I wondered, I
couldn't help forming a mental picture, too. Picturing the blonde and the
redhead having sex was wild enough, but picturing Alice climbing into the bed
between them was almost more than I could stand without touching myself, so I
decided I should stop thinking about it. The idea was seriously making me
horny, and it really shouldn't. Anxiety was probably more healthy than
fantasizing about my girlfriend cheating on me with two of her gorgeous
sisters. Adopted sisters, but still; such thoughts should be taboo.

And what about a bit of jealousy? Funnily enough, jealously was the emotion
most conspicuously absent. Then again, what did I have to be jealous about?
Alice repeatedly claimed that she had no interest in them, and they really had
no advantages over me aside from, well, pretty much everything. Actually, yeah,
maybe I was a little jealous. After all, why can't I have legs like that? It
wasn't fair. Damn them. Stupid bimbos. How dare they have feelings for my
Alice?

I managed to build up a little righteous indignation, but most of it evaporated
when I looked at the clock and realized I better start getting ready for dinner
tonight—at Alice's place.

Needless to say, I wasn't looking forward to spending any length of time in a
room with any of her sisters, but I promised I'd be there and I couldn't back
out now. Besides, Alice promised a quickie in the car, and the sooner I get
some part of her into some orifice of mine, the sooner I'll feel better again.

I'd been helping mom clean the house all day, and I managed to corner her in a
good mood, so I was hopeful that she wouldn't make a big deal of me meeting
Alice tonight. I approached the topic casually, and phrased it in the form of a
question, asking if it would be alright if Alice picked me up for dinner at her
place. Mom didn't seem too happy about it for a variety of reasons—it might
even rain—but she granted her permission nonetheless, and I quickly withdrew to
take a shower.

I washed and shampooed, I thought about Alice. I wondered what to wear. Alice
wanted me to dress sexy, but what would that look like compared to her sisters?
I wasn't sure, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I
really wanted to impress her. I wanted her to look at me and light up with
delight, I wanted her to rave for a full five minutes about how beautiful I
look. But most of all, I wanted her to feel the same way I felt about
her—completely and utterly pussy-whipped.

An unrealistic goal, perhaps, but a girl's gotta try. And so, clad in nothing
but a towel, I ducked into my room. I was tempted to barricade the door with my
bed in case mom came in unexpectedly, but I settled on just shutting it. Date-
prep was still unfamiliar territory for me, but I figured it would be more
normal to just be fast.

I rummaged through my closet and drawers, isolating the trashiest articles and
tossing them on my bed. None of it were my own personal clothes, it was all
what Alice had bought me at the mall last week. I hadn't paid much attention
back then, but as I was going through it all now, I realized that Alice's
tastes were rather kinky. She seemed to enjoy clothes that were both revealing
and flamboyant—two things that I've avoided in my own wardrobe for my entire
life. Still, tonight it was just Alice and her family, and Alice was the
important one. If she wanted me to dress sexy then by god that's what I was
going to do.

Underwear was easiest, of course. Alice had bought me a collection of thongs
that I'd kept hidden underneath a stack of books in the bottom drawer. The only
question was which color, a decision that couldn't be made until the rest of my
outfit was composed. I turned back to the bed and started arranging the clothes
in various combos, pairing tops with bottoms, regarding them with my hands on
my hips, frowning at them as if the clothes themselves were responsible for my
lack of style. The main problem was that I had no fashion sense. I had no idea
what suited me and everything seem silly. After all, skirts are sexy, but am I
really a skirt girl? My first date with Alice was the only time I'd worn a
skirt in my life. Alice seemed to have liked it, and I felt kind of cute in it,
too, but what if Alice was only being nice? What if I looked stupid in a skirt?

I huffed and looked down at myself. How are you supposed to know what looks hot
on you, anyway? I was pretty sure that the best color on me was black, but I
had no idea what clothes would best flatter my figure. Something with cleavage
would be a good start, but beyond that…

I felt embarrassed about it, but I decided to examine myself. After all, maybe
I'd find some inspiration in my naked body that would tell me what to wear, or
maybe there might be written instructions on the back of my leg detailing a
correct dress-code for my body type. I had a mirror on the inside of my closet
door, so I quickly whipped off the towel and looked myself up and down. I
looked…naked. That's about it.

With growing nervousness I looked down at my body with my own eyes, but all I
could see was my tits. They struck me as kind of weird, the way they were just
sitting there on my chest. I grabbed them in my hands, lifted them, and let
them drop. They bounced slightly, but they didn't seem to have any suggestions
on what to wear. I shook my head and looked at my arms, wondering; sleeves? Not
sure. They were thin, but what exactly do nice arms look like, anyway? Like
Alice's probably; slight with slight muscular definition. All in all, I figured
my arms were presentable enough, and skin is skin. In the attempt for sexiness
it was probably best to reveal as much as possible. So, no sleeves then.

What about legs? I looked at my legs in the mirror and struck a couples poses,
but they only looked like legs. I went and propped one up on the edge of the
bed and looked at it from a couple angles, but I couldn't tell much. It seemed
shapely enough, but it was hard to tell. Did Alice like my legs? Maybe. She
enjoyed stroking my thighs while we were having sex. But skirt or no skirt?
Alice looked awesome in a skirt, but her legs were amazing and so was her ass.
How was my ass? I twisted around to try and see it in the mirror, but I
couldn't get a clear picture. I touched it with my hands to try and feel it out
like a blind person, but I really couldn't tell anything other than it was an
ass. Smooth. Somewhat supple.

I scratched my head and looked at the clothes on the bed. I glanced at my
breasts, sighed, and looked at the clothes again. My enthusiasm for sexiness
was rapidly fading as I remembered how low my self-esteem really was, and I was
starting to wish Alice had laid some clothes out for me—or even just dressed me
up like a barbie doll. After all, if she wanted to objectify me into some kind
of arm charm, why not go all the way? It would certainly make things easier on
me.

And beyond all this, was the added complication of trying to draw a line
between sexy and inappropriate. After all, the outfit I chose would be the
outfit in which Alice presented me to her family as her serious girlfriend. I
needed to make a suitable impression. They were hardly most conventional family
in the world, and Alice herself had said that they'd all be dressing up, but
still; how far should a girl go in these situations? I didn't want them to
think I was a slut; that information was something only Alice needed to know.
But at the same time I really wanted to impress Alice with something shocking.
Gosh, this was hard.

I sighed and touched my temples. I was so stressed out that I could feel a
headache coming on, and I was still naked, which was the opposite of dressed.
I'd been flittering around for over half an hour without making any progress
and it was time to make a decision. I looked at the clothes laid out on my bed
with a stern frown. There were skirts and jeans, hot pants, tight pants. There
were blouses and halters, tube tops, tank tops. It was all pretty cute, but
there was one article in particular that repeatedly drew my gaze. It was a top,
technically, but at first glance it looked like a scrap of purple satin. It was
a loose fitting halter that was so skimpy that I was almost afraid to try it
on. But I did.

It was the flimsiest piece of clothing I'd handled and I was worried that I'd
break it just by putting it on. Basically, all it covered was my chest, and
only barely. My shoulders and arms were completely bare, and my stomach, and
all my neck and collar and most of my chest. The shimmering purple satin flowed
loosely over my breasts, exposing just a little side-boob, and the whole top
was bound to me by nothing more than a thin string behind my neck and around my
back.

It was so revealing that it made me feel even more naked and, even though I
could never ever wear such a thing, I had a sudden urge to see what I looked
like. I stepped in front of the mirror—

And froze.

I could feel my face heating and for a moment I just stared. I was completely
naked other than the skimpy satin halter and the wispy triangle of dark hair
below my belly, and my reflection was so odd and sexy that it was confusing—and
strangely exciting. With nothing but a swath of gaudy purple material draped
over my breasts and nothing at all covering anything else, I looked wild and
fantastic, like some sorceress bed thrall. It struck me as pretty cool, and as
I gazed myself over, I realized that maybe I really am kind of hot. Above
average, even. I'd been reviled at school for so long that I'd never paid much
attention to my body, but I did now, and this one simple halter seemed to throw
the whole thing into focus; breasts, hips, legs. Yep, I really was hot. Gee.
How cool is that?

I smiled and looked down at myself and back at the mirror. I wondered what
Alice would think if she saw me now, just like this. But I didn't have to
wonder, because I knew: she'd love it.

But, as much as I wanted to impress my girlfriend, it probably wasn't
appropriate to show up for dinner at her house without pants or underwear. And,
of course, the halter was much too trashy to actually wear. Even the skankiest
club rat would feel self-conscious in such a garment. And yet…

It would impress Alice, wouldn't it? If she was human I'd never dare even think
about wearing such a thing, but the chick was a vampire—a real life whore of
darkness. She was kind of girl who had sex at school or at the mall or in the
backseat of her car, the kind of girl who couldn't get enough of it. She was
utterly shameless and she really did seem to have a genuine appreciation for
trashiness. I was positive that she would be impressed—but could I really wear
such a thing?

I hoped not, but while I decided I went back to the clothes pile on the bed and
pawed about for something that might go with it. My hand closed on a tight
black mini-skirt and I really didn't like the flicker of excitement I felt as I
looked it over. I frowned and selected a purple thong to match the top, and
then I put them both on. I told myself that I wasn't actually going to wear
this stuff, that I was just trying it on for fun. I added a pair of black
patent leather peep toe pumps to the ensemble—still kidding myself that I was
going to change in just a minute—and then I sat on the bed with my makeup kit
and painted my face into something that could've been described as
whorish—gaudy red lipstick, lavish purple eye shadow, excessive blush. I kept
telling myself that I was going to wipe it all off and get changed, but as I
examined myself in the mirror, I felt the temptation grow and grow until I
really didn't have any choice.

I looked utterly ridiculous, truly terrible. The heels made my posture awkward
and my face was so solemn that the makeup seemed like a joke. My eyes roamed up
and down, taking in the black miniskirt that barely covered my ass, the halter
that barely covered my chest. So much skin was exposed that it made me sick
with embarrassment. I wanted to look sexy, but this was overkill, this was
stupid, this is not what you wore to your girlfriend's house for dinner,
vampires or not.

So why did it feel so fucking perfect?

I could just imagine Alice's reaction, and no matter how many objections I came
up with, I just couldn't ignore the fact that Alice would love it. I knew she
would. I could feel it, deep in my heart. I looked like a girl who'd never
tried to be sexy in her life and had no idea how to do it, but let's face it;
that's exactly what I was. And for some reason, I thought Alice would really
like that. She wanted me to be sexy and that's what I'm trying to be. It's the
thought that counts, and I was positive she would appreciate the effort—maybe
more than the outfit itself.

It was one of the hardest decisions I ever made, but I decided to do it. It was
too late to change, anyway. I might get some disdainful looks from her sisters,
but that was nothing I wasn't used to, and it was Alice who was important. My
only fear was that she might be embarrassed of me in front of her family, but I
truly thought she would more likely to be thrilled. I hoped she would be, I
really did. I hoped her heart would flutter right out of her fucking chest.

And so, I took a final deep breath, donned my collar, squirted myself with
perfume, and grabbed up my little black purse. I was so feverish from
nervousness that my legs felt weak. I spent a couple minutes wondering if there
was anything I'd forgotten, but my mind was so frazzled that I could hardly
think at all.

I exited my room and started down the stairs, carefully in my heels. I could
hear mom in the kitchen downstairs and I wondered what she'd think of—

Oh my god.

Mom.

I froze on the staircase. I'd been so distracted by what Alice would think of
my outfit that I hadn't even considered how mom would react. I did now, and in
the sudden rush of panic that swept over me I was tempted to either run back
upstairs and change or beat my head against the wall. How could I even think of
wearing something like this? Mom had always wanted me to dress prettier, but
she'd never encouraged me to walk around with the sides of my boobs visible.
She'd never approve, never in a million years. Fuck. I had to change. There was
no other solution. I had to just—

My phone beeped and I almost fell down the stairs. There was only one person
other than mom who had my number: Alice. I grabbed the phone out of my purse
and clicked open the text. It said:

Hi! I'm waiting outside.

Sorry I'm so early. ;)

My heart leapt as I read it and as I read it another one popped up:

Can't wait to see you.

Hurry up!

I bit my lip, jiggling with anxiety. Obviously she hadn't heard the expression
'Never rush a lady.' I had no time to think and without thinking I quickly
punched in a reply:

I have to say goodbye to mom.

I'll be outside in a minute.

Love u!

The last line seemed a little forced, but I wasn't an expert with texts and it
was the best I could do under the circumstances. I tucked the phone back into
my purse and heaved a shaky sigh. Mom was going to have a fit when she saw me,
but there was nothing I could do. Alice was waiting and I was going to have to
take my chances.

Oh, Alice. I hoped she was worth it, but in my heart I knew she was. Is it
possible to truly fall in love with someone in a month? It occurred to me that
I'd asked myself the same question after a week, and then two weeks, and I'd
probably still be asking myself after ten years. I'd probably never get over
the fact that my girlfriend was so amazing.

Mom was standing at the counter, chopping up vegetables for a quick stir fry. I
approached from behind, praying without hope that maybe she wouldn't even turn
around. I wasn't used to disappointing mom, and I felt bad knowing that I was
about to. But it was too late to back out now, so I cleared my throat, forced
my voice into neutral, and said:

"Hey, mom? Alice is here, I gotta go."

"Already? I thought you said—"

She turned around and her expression drained. Her eyes went wide, her mouth
fell open, and she looked me up and down in blatant disbelief.

"Bella!" she gasped. "What the hell are you wearing?!"

I looked down at myself. "It's just a couple things Alice bought me," I said,
and my first tactic was casualness. I held out my arms awkwardly. "What do you
think?"

Mom didn't seem to hear. She shook her head and pointed at me vaguely. "You
can't go out dressed like that," she told me. "What are you, crazy?"

"Oh, it's alright," I said, waving a hand dismissively. "I won't be cold."

"Cold?" she repeated, narrowing her eyes. "Are you being smart with me, Bella?"

I demurred. "No," I said, dropping my eyes to the kitchen floor.

Mom snorted. "Well, you can forget about wearing all that right now," she
pronounced. She looked me over again and shook her head. "I mean, look at you.
You're sixteen years old, Bella. You can't go around looking like that."

I shrugged an embarrassingly bare shoulder. "I'm only going to Alice's place."

"And that's another thing I don't like," she snapped suddenly. "You never used
to dress like this before you met that girl."

It was a little unfair, since this was the first time I'd ever dressed like
this, but I could appreciate her point. To be absolutely unbiased, Alice had
proven to be a terrible influence on me, but I was pretty cool with that and
mom didn't know about most of it, anyway, so was it really a big deal? "Come
on, mom," I said. "You know I never dress like this. This is just once. I
wanted to look nice, that's all."

She glared at me. "Nice?"

"Yeah." I spread my arms again, trying to smile. "Don't I look okay?"

My helpless attempt at a smile seemed to soften her slightly. She looked away
and looked again, shaking her head and exhaling through her nose. "Well, that's
not really the point, Bella. The point is, you're much too young to dress like
that. You shouldn't even own those kinds of clothes. And I'm very upset with
that girl for buying them for you."

I felt tears prickle my eyes and I may've pouted. Typical. I spend over an hour
composing the perfect outfit to surprise my sex-crazed girlfriend and in the
end I'm circumvented by my own well-meaning mother. No wonder teen angst is
such a problem with today's youth. Parents just don't under kids at all. I
sighed and let myself slump. "Do I have to change?"

"Well," mom said, and my abject disappointment seemed to soften her even
further. "I don't know. Does she have any brothers?"

I looked up with hope. "No," I said. "Just sisters."

I omitted the fact the they were all lesbians and all sexually active, because
it seemed irrelevant. Besides, they were in relationships already, and so was
I. Not too mention I wasn't even in their league. Even if I didn't have a
girlfriend I wouldn't kid myself into thinking any of them would actually make
a pass at me.

Mom sighed with her hands on her hips, looking me over again, perhaps trying to
convince herself that it wasn't as bad as it looked. It must've been difficult;
my outfit had only slightly more coverage than regular underwear. She probably
thought I was just too innocent and socially awkward to realize how ridiculous
I looked, and that was kind of true, because in the end I really was only
trying to look nice. It was just coincidence that I had a girlfriend who would
hopefully froth at the mouth when she saw me.

"Well," mom said. "I don't like it, but… I guess it's okay. As long as you're
only going to your friend's house."

I smiled suddenly. "Thanks, mom," I said, stumbling over in my heels to give
her a quick hug.

"Alright, alright," she said, pushing me away. "But I gotta warn you, Bella."

"Warn me what?"

She sighed, looking very uncomfortable all the sudden. "Well," she said. "The
thing is… If you keep dressing up every time you see this girl, she might start
to get the wrong impression. You know what I mean?"

I was so encouraged by the comment I almost grinned, but instead I managed to
force my face into a disgusted kind of indignation more appropriate to these
sorts of accusations—although I think I was smiling just a little. "Mom," I
said. "That's just…"

"Well, I'm just saying," she said uncomfortably. "From some angles it looks
like you might like her." She eyed me suspiciously. "I mean, you don't, do
you?"

"Of course not," I said indignantly. "That's disgusting."

And I had to admit I sounded very convincing. All those years of Lauren's
teasing had paid off; I got the tone and the pitch of my voice absolutely
perfect. I almost believed it myself. Sure, very disgusting. Alice's luscious
ass, her luxurious nymphet legs. I mean, ew.

"Well, okay," mom said, but I had no idea if she believed me. "Just making
sure. I don't judge people, but you know."

She gave me a discreet frown, and I got the impression that she was
deliberately trying to let me know that she, apparently, doesn't judge people.
She was obviously very suspicious of me and my orientation, and I almost felt
sorry for her. She deserved the truth about her daughter, but there'd probably
be better times to tell her, like when my girlfriend wasn't waiting outside to
bang me in the backseat like a common bimbo. Besides, I was so happy she was
letting me wear my slut-suit that I didn't want to disappoint her even more, so
I decided to elaborate my denial a little, just to try and set her at ease.

"Mom, I'm not gay," I told her with an attempt at a straight face. "Alright?"

She seemed skeptical, but she was quick to accept my denial. "Okay, okay," she
said. "Just checking. You never know these days."

I allowed myself a smile and shook my head. "I gotta go, mom."

"Alright," mom said fretfully, "but don't be too late. And don't, you know."

"Don't what?"

"Oh, I don't know. Don't do anything. That's the safest thing."

She was acting very weird, but Alice was waiting, so I kept inching away.
"Okay, mom. See you."

"Wait, wait," she said quickly. "Listen, why don't you wear a jacket? Maybe
you'll be more comfortable with a jacket."

I could appreciate the concern, but the lack of a jacket was a deliberate
design decision. The whole point was to reveal as much as possible; a jacket
would just ruin it. Even my shoes were open-toed. The more things exposed the
merrier, after all. "Well," I said, deciding to be tactful. "I'd rather not."

Mom looked at me anxiously. "Well, what about some pants under your skirt? You
know, just in case."

"In case what?"

"In case someone looks!"

I chuckled. "You're being an idiot, mom," I told her gently. "It's a house full
of chicks. No one's gonna be looking."

Although, even as I said it I hoped it wouldn't prove true. They were all into
chicks, of course, but in a roomful of gorgeous female vampires, would I really
be worth looking at? Maybe to laugh at, but I was too self-aware to believe I
could turn any heads in that house, no matter how scanty my outfit. Still, it
would be pretty awesome if they actually did notice me, especially the tall
blonde. Alice was most important, of course, but a breathless glance from the
blonde would probably be more validating that anything else I could think of.

"Oh, fine," mom conceded. Then she pointed a finger at me sternly. "But I want
you home by nine."

I stared at her. "Nine, mom? Seriously?"

"Ten, then."

I sighed at her deliberately.

"Alright, eleven," she relented, and then quickly went stern again. "But I want
you to come straight home after you leave your friend's place. I don't want you
out on the streets looking like that."

I almost laughed again. On the streets? Oh, boy. I couldn't vouch for my
integrity regarding Alice, but I was pretty sure that wearing heels and a
miniskirt wasn't going to corrupt me into prostitution, so I just nodded and
started backing away.

"Okay, mom," I told her. "See you later."

"Alright, sweetie," she said grudgingly. "Have fun. And behave!"

Maybe I should've felt worse about deceiving my own mother so horribly, but I
consoled myself that it was for a good cause. And even if mom knew the truth,
she'd understand, right? It wasn't like I was doing drugs, or anything. All I
was doing was dating a vampire behind her back and having sex at every
opportunity regardless of location or moral justification. I'm sure she'd do
the same thing in my shoes. Who wouldn't?

I left the house emboldened by mom's dramatic reaction to my outfit, and saw
Alice's chrome silver Volvo parked on the curb. It was almost seven and almost
dark. I could hear the motor running and I hesitated on the porch for a second
with a cold breeze blowing over my half-naked body. I was still positive Alice
would love it, but the anxiety was excruciating nonetheless, and after
mustering all the courage I was capable of, I walked over—ungainly in my heels
across the brick path—and opened the car door.

Alice had her iPod playing on the stereo and as I climbed in I was treated to a
chorus of pop song. If it was a movie I would've been in slow motion, with the
camera panning across my bare legs and my tight black miniskirt and my bare
tummy and my satin halter and my bare shoulders before settling on my blushing
face full of makeup—but in real-life it was magical enough to simply have the
music. My heart was throbbing in my chest from nervousness, and as I slammed
the door shut, I turned to see Alice's reaction, and—

Well. Maybe my outfit wasn't so ridiculous, after all.

We were dressed so alike we almost seemed to be coordinated. The only real
differences between us were color and style. She was wearing a baby pink tube
top which was little more than a strip of soft clingy cloth across her breasts.
Plenty of cleavage was visible and a thin fold of fabric doubled over the top
and fell loosely about her breasts, lending the look a girlish flamboyance. Her
chest was bare but for a gold heartshaped locket and all her shoulders and arms
were bare too. I let my eyes roam down, the pop song continuing in the
background, and I saw that she was wearing a miniskirt as well, but hers was an
orange-rust color, and it was frilly and voluminous, almost like a little tutu.
It seemed to be composed of nothing but layers of orange lace—with a little
pink thrown in—and it was so short it barely covered her lap.

I let my eyes roam up again and her face took my breath away. Her makeup was
far less absurd than mine but still very lavish. She wore shiny candy pink
lipstick, and lavender eye shadow, and a pale dusting of rosepink blush. Her
eyelashes were unrealistically long and thick and black, but I knew they
weren't fake, and in her hair she was wearing her butterfly hair clip on one
side and on the other side above her ear she wore an arrangement of fake
flowers bound by lace, a trio of azalea's, one yellow, one orange, one purple,
all of them soft colored and pastel; just like the rest of her outfit.

Her features were as pretty and perfect as they always were, and right now they
were composed into an expression that I'd never seen on her before. It could
only be described as breathless amazement. She was staring at me with her mouth
open and her huge eyes even huger, and slowly her lips turned up into a smile,
and she said:

"Oh. My. God."

I'd been thinking something similar, and suddenly I breathed out; I hadn't
realized I'd been holding it. My own mouth jerked into a smile and I realized a
greeting was in order. "H-hi."

She didn't seem to be interested in pretending to be casual. "Bella!" she
squealed in abject delight, bursting into animation. "Oh my god, look at you!
You look amazing!"

Needless to say, I almost dissolved into mist from relief. I'd been trying not
to get my hopes up, but it had felt like my whole life hinged on that moment,
and I was happy that I wouldn't going perish from embarrassment.

"Thanks—"

She cut me off with a vicious kiss, leaning across the gearshift and grabbing a
fistful of my hair—gently, of course. My mouth fell open obediently and
suddenly it was filled with her tongue. My head reeled from the sudden attack
and I responded helplessly, moaning and pushing at her face with my own. It was
a very greasy kiss with so much lipstick between us, but one of the loveliest
in recent memory; I just hoped we wouldn't smudge.

Alice broke away breathlessly. "Oh my god, you're incredible. Did you dress up
just for me?"

Technically, I'd dressed up because she'd asked me to, but the point was the
same. "Of course," I said. "What else would I dress up for?"

"Aww, that's so sweet!" she gushed. "I can't believe you'd wear something like
that just to make me happy. It must've been so difficult for you. You hate
those kinds of clothes!"

I grinned and blushed, happy that she understood—and appreciated. "Yeah," I
chuckled, "it was—"

But I never got to tell her how difficult it was, because she pulled me into
another greasy kiss and swiftly tongued all thought from my head. I was just
getting into it when she broke it again.

"What about me?" she giggled, crossing her legs and turning in the chair to
display herself. "How do I look?"

I took in her ensemble once more, her soft pink tube top, the frilly orange
miniskirt, flowers in her hair. The outfit was a truly outrageous example of
sexy girlishness, and I couldn't decide if she looked like a cute and innocent
little nymph or like the dream girl of a Japanese pervert—but either way I was
digging it.

"You look incredible," I told her.

"Thanks," she said. "I designed it and sewed it all myself. I studied fashion
in Paris."

I hadn't known Parisians were that kinky, but I could see my girlfriend had
chosen her education well. "You look amazing."

"Mmm, I bet you could do me right now, couldn't you?"

"Definitely."

She giggled and kissed me again. It was a gentler kiss this time, less
insistent, and when she broke away she looked regretful.

"I feel exactly the same way," she said, "but maybe we should wait till we
aren't in front of your house. What do you think?"

"Maybe."

She placed one more kiss full on my lips and sighed.

"Oh well," she said, then she winked. "Maybe a little anticipation will sharpen
the appetite, hm?"

I smirked. "Maybe.

She giggled and turned to the steering wheel. "In any case," she said, "I'm
determined to have the dessert before the meal, so don't relax just yet."

I giggled. I could already feel a cramp in my skirt from how much I wanted her
and I highly doubted the ride would be relaxing. Alice pulled away from the
curb, glancing at me with a smile, and I put my seat belt on, for safety's
sake—it would be so tragic to die in a fiery wreck before the sex.

Alice drove fast as she always did, and the frequent glances she tossed in my
direction were very flattering but not really conducive to my sense of safety.
She made a few attempts at conversation but mostly she spent the ride in
blatant and eager amazement of my outfit, glancing at me and grinning and
exclaiming every five minutes about how she just couldn't keep her eyes off me.
I soon began wondering how much was authentic, but either way, she was a
marvelous actress and I seemed to have achieved my goal of visually impressing
her. The rest of the night should be easy compared to the torture of climbing
into the car.

We spent the ride in a comfortable glow of sexual tension and feverish
anticipation, and soon it was dark outside. The sun set early in Forks, but
there was nothing to see outside, so I turned to Alice, and she was always a
nice thing to look at. I couldn't get over how similar our outfits were. It was
like we had the exact same principle in mind; as little cloth as possible.

Amazingly, I think I even had her beat. I couldn't compete with her face and
figure, of course, but black and purple would always be sexier than pink and
orange, and I was actually showing more. I had nothing at all covering my back,
and my skirt was skin tight. Even my shoes revealed more. She was wearing small
tan colored calfskin boots, and I was wearing black pumps; with open toes.
Alice had polished my nails and toenails herself last week, and even though I'd
insisted on clear polish, I was glad tonight for the mani-pedi. I was showered
and shaved, cheaply perfumed. I felt like a genuine slut, and it was remarkable
how nice that felt when your girlfriend appreciated it.

We fell silent as we got closer to her house. I could see it through the
windshield as we rounded the last curve, a large mansion on a rise overlooking
the road. I wondered why they lived out here in the woods? Privacy? Or just
because the best house in town happened to be outside of town? I didn't know,
and I didn't really care at the moment, because I was very horny and I really
wanted Alice.

By the time we pulled up by the side of the road—a safe distance from her
house—I was nervous and fidgety. Even at this point in our relationship I
wasn't comfortable enough to simply jump her, but deep down I knew that Alice
would anticipate my needs—and she didn't keep me waiting. She turned off the
engine, flicked on the domelight, and leveled at me a sultry smile.

"Bella," she said. "If you don't get in the back and open your legs this
instant I'm going to scream."

I wished I could've come up with some witty rejoinder for that, but the only
thing that occurred to me was eager obedience—so I did it.

Alice climbed in right behind me and plunged between my legs as soon as I
opened them, making me giggle. She giggled as well, sending pleasant vibrations
into my core, and then she placed a big kiss on the front of my panties and
started licking.

My pussy was very pleased, and I had a feeling I wouldn't last long in an
unclimaxed state. Alice must've had the same feeling, because she stopped and
crawled up onto the seat beside me. I left my legs open, and watched with an
eager smile as she leaned in to capture my lips. My eyes fell closed and I
could feel her hand caressing the inside of my thigh while she kissed me. I
opened my mouth and let in her tongue, losing my mind as she rubbed her fingers
against the front of my thong, and I had a feeling that after tonight I might
confidently conclude to be a skirt girl. There was a definite appeal in the
easy access that skirts allowed, and with a girlfriend like Alice, it was
really only logical.

I was in the middle of happily being tongued and fingered when she broke the
kiss so suddenly it made me dizzy. She giggled, so I knew nothing was wrong,
but I was curious why she stopped. I blinked at her, and she gave me a gentle
smile, as if she had something harsh to tell me but didn't want to hurt my
feelings.

"Bella," she began. "I like passive lovers, I really do, but in this situation,
maybe it would be nice if you could stick a hand up my skirt, too?"

My mouth dropped open in horror; how could I be so selfish?

"Oh fuck," I said, half-panting. "I'm sorry, I didn't—"

She pressed a finger to my lips to silence me. "Less talking; more touching."

I nodded in perfect agreement, and she captured my lips once more. I responded
with vigor, pushing into her mouth with my own tongue, still reeling from the
monstrous oversight of ignoring my girlfriend's growing arousal. Our lips were
slick and greasy from lipstick, and the taste was slightly bitter, but not
unpleasant. I fumbled with my left hand between her legs, groping at her thigh
clumsily, and then I started rubbing against the front of her panties. I had no
idea what she was wearing down there, but they seemed to be soft cotton, and I
would've bet money that they were pink.

"Mmm," she moaned. "We're gonna be so late. Esme's gonna be pissed…"

I licked my lips, wondering if there was any lipstick left on them. "Do you
want to hurry up?"

"No," she smiled. "I want to play with your boobs. Do you mind?"

I giggled, and amazingly I actually had a rejoinder: "I'd be delighted."

It wasn't Casanova-quality—he didn't even have boobs—but it was better than
dumb nodding, and Alice seemed to like it. She captured my breasts in both of
her hands, squeezing them through the satin. She toyed with them like that for
a while and I wondered how she'd deal with my top. The material was so flimsy
that it barely provided any barrier at all, but I'd still prefer her actual
hands on me. I didn't think it would be necessary to take it off, and Alice
didn't. She didn't even hike it up. She simply bunched it together between my
breasts, leaving both boobs exposed with the flimsy purple satin bunched
between them.

Alice took them in her hands and stroked them lovingly. "I love these things,"
she said, smiling. "Have I ever told you that?"

I shook my head, unable to form speech. She hadn't told me in words, but I'd
guessed she was partial to them by how much attention she paid them every time
we made love.

My chest had started heaving and I watched breathlessly as she bent her mouth
to one of my nipples. She licked it firmly and kissed it and suckled on it for
a few seconds. I moaned and breathed deeply in and out. She moved to the other
one and repeated the process and then back to the first one and then the other
one and back to the first one again, licking and sucking slowly and
deliberately, squeezing her hands in rhythm, making little moaning sounds.

"Alice," I hissed, close to coming. "Alice."

She giggled and stopped. My eyes had been closed and now I looked at her
questioningly.

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, baby," she said, and then she pulled her
tube top under her breasts, as if offering them. "But do you think I could get
a little too?"

The sight of her perky little breasts never failed to mesmerize me, but I
managed a grin and a feeble rejoinder: "I'd love to."

Very weak, but at least it was something. I took her mounds in my hands and
began massaging them, gently as if they were dough, watching her chest rise and
fall with each of her breaths. She smiled and pushed out her chest slightly, as
if preening.

"Use your mouth," she said. "Suck on them."

I'd been tempted to do it before she'd even suggested it. I lowered my mouth to
one of them and she tilted her chest to my face slightly. I took her nipple
between my lips and started sucking. Alice liked it a little rough, so I
indulged the hunger growing in my stomach and started sucking harder, coating
her nipple in my saliva and making little slurping sounds. She moaned and I
moved on to the other one, squeezing it in my hand to make the nipple pop and
sucking at it hungrily. I moved back to the other one and teased her other
nipple with my fingers, and I kept going, moving back and forth between her
breasts and sucking like a fussy newborn.

"Mmm," she groaned, lacing her fingers in my hair. "Oh, Bella. I do believe I
could come from just that."

I stopped and smiled, my face flushed. "But then I wouldn't get to eat your
pussy," I said, even pouting, and I was very gratified by Alice's reaction. She
giggled brightly and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Well, I wouldn't want to
disappoint my baby," she said, pressing her chest into mine. "But I want you to
kiss me a little more first," she whispered. "I love it when you kiss me."

I chuckled into her lips. "I thought this was supposed to be a quickie?"

"I lied," she breathed into my mouth. "I do that a lot…"

And then she was kissing me. Our breasts were pressing together and I couldn't
find it in my heart to complain about how long we were taking. I hated to be
late, of course, and I hadn't eaten since lunch time—but I was hungry for
something else right now.

We made out for a long time, just kissing and stroking each other's breasts. I
could feel the heat radiating off her face and my pussy was painful with
hornyness. But I didn't want to rush Alice, so I kept going, kissing her lovely
mouth, sucking on her lips and her tongue, letting her suck mine. We both had
our legs parted and soon our hands had moved lower into each other's panties.
Neither of was speaking now and we'd stopped kissing. We simply touched our
foreheads together and breathed raggedly into each other's mouths as our
fingers explored each other's contours, urging each other closer and closer.

Alice inhaled sharply. "Mmm," she moaned. "Are you ready, baby? I think I'm
ready."

I nodded and licked at her mouth with my tongue. "Yes," I said, kissing her.
"I'm ready."

She kissed me back a little and then broke away. "Wanna do me first?"

My stomach responded to the question with a decisive lurch of hunger and I
nodded vigorously. "Yes."

She giggled and wriggled out of her panties. They were pink cotton bikini-
briefs, not overly sexy, but cute like the rest of her. "Okay," she said,
laying back on the car seat and spreading her legs. "Go ahead."

I bent and inhaled her scent, almost swooning, and then I placed a long lick
across her mound. She was so horny that she shivered as my tongue passed over
her clit. I licked again, nice and slow, and again, and again.

"Mgh," she moaned impatiently, squirming her hips. "Keep going. Quick."

She was hot and slick with arousal, and I licked it all up, slowly and
lovingly. My stomach was floating and I could've eaten her out forever. I'd
developed a strange passion for Alice's pussy lately, and going down on her was
rapidly becoming one of my favorite activities. I loved her scent and her
taste, and I loved her silky smoothness. I loved her moans and her little
movements. I loved everything about her.

"Oh god," she moaned, her breath beginning to heave. "Oh god. Keep going. Keep
going."

I kept going. I'd spread her pussy open with my thumbs and I was licking long
and very hard, hard enough to make her whimper. I poked my tongue into her
vagina and withdrew it and poked it in again. I suckled on her clit. Her breath
shuddered and a large shiver passed over her.

"Bella," she moaned. "Oh Bella."

I placed two or three little kisses on her pussy, slowing things down for just
a second. "Do you want me to use a finger?" I whispered into her, making her
feel the vibrations.

"No," she gasped. "Just keep licking."

I did as she asked, eagerly, licking all across her and flicking her clit at
the end of each lick.

"Yes," she whispered. "Just like that. Faster. Oh. Yes. Yes. Faster, quickly.
Quickly, Bella."

I went faster, but maintained the pressure, licking at her hard enough to
strain my neck. I had a good rhythm going and she was really feeling it, I
could hear it in her panting. Her thighs began to close around my head and I
focused more and more and her clit, slashing at it relentlessly with the whole
flat of my tongue.

She groaned loudly and I recognized that groan. It meant she was about to come,
and I did nothing but keep going, licking and licking, listening as the climax
grew in her voice. She didn't hold back and I loved to hear her come. Her body
was heaving and her cries filled the car, getting louder and louder. Usually we
had to be so quiet, but I loved it when she let me hear her. I could taste her
all through my mouth and I kept licking, licking, lapping up her glistening
essence, and her cries became high and breathless, and I licked harder and
faster, until finally she arched up, clenched her fists in my hair, and
squealed as her orgasm rippled through her.

It was like music to my ears. It was the sound I most loved to hear out of
Alice; the sound of her pleasure. I kept licking and I used one hand to stroke
her thigh. Her cries had slowly tapered off into steady breathing and slowly
her legs flopped down either side of me. She giggled languidly and let me keep
licking her, softly now, lovingly. She petted my hair idly, twirling a lock in
her fingers, and simply lay there enjoying the attention.

"Bella," she said with satisfaction in her voice. "That was absolutely
beautiful."

I placed one last kiss on her pussy and sat up. "Thanks," I said shyly, letting
my tongue loosen in my mouth. I had a feeling it was going to be a little tense
for a while. "I liked it too."

She giggled and crawled up beside me. "I love how much you love me," she
whispered, and then she captured my lips in a kiss.

By now I was simply putty in Alice's hands, my muscles hot and liquefied under
her hands. I truly did not require any more foreplay, but Alice had her own
methods, and she liked to be thorough. She made out with me for a while and
spent a bit more time stroking my breasts—she really liked those things. Our
breasts were still exposed, Alice with her tube top pulled down below hers and
me with my halter bunch between mine, and as we made out she pressed them
together and rubbed her body into mine, wrapping her arms around me and sinking
her tongue deep into my mouth. She dropped her lips to my throat and my collar
bone, and then she kissed my breasts and suckled at my nipples. Her hand was
stroking the outside of my thigh and I felt a an exquisite thrill of
anticipation as her hand rose higher and hiked up my miniskirt.

"Alice," I hissed. "Alice."

She had the waistband of my thong in her hand and she was pulling it away. I
shifted my hips to help her, and she abandoned my breasts, flashed me a smile,
and started kissing me again. I moaned impatiently, and my head reeled as
suddenly two of fingers started stroking my entrance. I suddenly realized that
I had two hands free, and without thinking I grabbed her face and kissed her
back as I could.

"Mmm!" she giggled in surprise. "Getting impatient, are we?"

She looked into my flushed face and smiled. She was still stroking my pussy and
my body was quivering. "Yes," I whispered. "You're driving me crazy."

She placed a kiss on my lips, my cheek, my ear. "Lay down," she finally
whispered, and I was very quick to obey. I lay back against the car door and
threw one foot up on the back rest and let the other loll in the floor. She
stroked my thighs, just to tease me a little more, and smirked. "Do you mind if
I go really slow?"

I nodded, swallowing to wet my mouth. I didn't care how slow she went as long
as she got it done. "Okay."

She smiled and bent between my thighs. The anticipation was killing me and I
shivered as she pressed her lips gingerly against my pussy. I was so hot and
soft that I felt like I was about to burst, but as much as I craved the release
of her tongue she didn't give it to me. Not yet. She kissed the insides of my
thighs first, one and then the other, and licked all around the edges of my
pussy.

"Alice," I whimpered. "Alice."

Suddenly I felt her tongue at the base of my hips, below my pussy. Just the
tip. I looked down across my body and watched as she licked up slowly and my
breath whimpered as her tongue passed over the wet lips of my pussy and over my
throbbing clit and even higher over my groin. Then she did it again, harder.
And then harder again. Again. Again.

I groaned loudly, and seemed to Alice to hear some suggestion in it, because
suddenly she placed a kiss on my clit that made me shudder, and then she
started suckling on it gently. But not for long. She spread my pussy open with
her fingers and licked inside, hard and slow. She licked a few times and then
she poked her tongue into my vagina and out again and in again. She pushed it
in as far as it would go, and then she kissed at me, once, twice, and kept
licking, gaining speed, lashing my clit at the end of each lick.

I was perched at the edge of orgasm and I was going to fall any minute. My
mouth was hanging open and my breathing was shuddering in and out of me. I was
using one hand to balance on the car seat and the other was clenched in a fist
against my bare breast. I was usually very quiet during sex, but I could hear
myself getting louder, moaning, whimpering.

"Alice," I groaned. "Oh god, Alice. Please. Keep going. Oh god. Oh god!"

She kept going and suddenly I could feel myself coming. It came quickly, so
quickly it surprised me. My vision blurred and suddenly I screamed out loud, a
shrill gasp that flew out of me as my body thrashed once, twice, before
flopping back against the car door. A sheen of sweat covered me and I was
breathing very deeply.

"Mmm," Alice moaned as she licked at my pussy. "That was lovely, wasn't it?"

"Yes," I gasped. "That was incredible."

Alice sighed and sat up. I sat up to meet her. We were still half naked and our
panties were laying on the floor. I was sweaty and I could only imagine what my
makeup looked like. I wrapped her into a kiss and kissed her long and deep,
showing her how much I loved her. I pressed my breasts against hers and I loved
her so much that I wanted to melt my body into hers and live inside her
forever, but Alice broke the kiss and sighed.

She smiled and cupped my cheek, gazing into my eyes. Then she looked at my
boobs and my hiked up skirt and giggled. "We'd better get fixed up," she said.
"We're gonna be so late."

"Yeah," I sighed, not moving. "I just wish I could stay here with you."

"Me too," she whispered. "But a girl can't live on love alone, can she? You
gotta eat."

I sighed and smiled. "Alright. But…"

"But what, baby?"

I flickered my eyes over her lap shyly. "Is it okay if I go down on you one
more time?"

She giggled. "Bella," she said. "If you start talking like that you're going to
distract me out here all night long. Is that what you want?"

I wouldn't mind, but honestly my motives were little less complicated; I just
wanted to love her. "Just one more?" I pleaded playfully. I placed a hand on
her leg suggestively and batted my eyelashes. "Please?"

She bit her lip, thinking about it, and then she giggled. "Oh fine," she said.
"But be quick."

"Thanks," I giggled, and then I face-dived into her pussy before she even had
her legs open.

—

It was almost eight by the time we went inside. Luckily, Alice had some makeup
in her purse and she managed to touch me up a little until I didn't look quite
as much as an out-of-work whore anymore. She touched up her own makeup, too,
and then we fixed up our hair and straightened our clothes. We made out a
little more, and by and by, we finally managed to struggle out of the car.

Sex with Alice had provided a considerable boost to my mood, as it always did,
but the anxiety started to seep back in soon as we got inside. The house was
exactly as I remembered it; warmly lit and beige, and suddenly I was aware of
how terrible my outfit was. I consoled myself at Alice was dress similarly, but
Alice was an insanely cute uber-confident vampire; I was just some chick she
was dating. It wasn't a look I was used too, and I was so self-conscious I
probably looked ugly. My legs were embarrassingly bare and my heels felt
awkward on my feet. I could hardly even walk properly, and I had no idea how to
stand or what to do with my hands. I usually like putting my hands in my
pockets, but the skirt didn't have any; there wasn't even enough material for
pockets. And worse than all that, was my top. What had been running through my
head when I got changed that made me believe it would be a good idea to show up
at my girlfriend's house for dinner with nothing covering my boobs but a rag of
purple satin? And they weren't even fully covered, not completely. There was at
least a couple square-inches visible, either along the sides or in the dip of
the V. And maybe my back was worse. The only thing covering it was my hair,
which was long and full, but still didn't really count as clothes.

Alice was holding my arm as she led me through the house, and as we passed the
dinning table I saw it was set with expensive looking plates and silver cutlery
that gleamed under the chandelier. The chairs were mahogany antiques with
cream-colored upholstery, and there were silver candelabras sitting on the
white silk table cloth and a centerpiece of white lilies in the middle of the
table. It looked even nicer than the five star hotel Alice had taken me too
last week, and suddenly I was even more aware of how inappropriate my outfit
was. I looked like I was dressed for a gangbang in an alleyway outside a club
somewhere; not for a refined dinner with my girlfriend's family.

Then again, I did impress Alice, didn't I? Well, that was some consolation,
although now that all the sex and flattery was over, it didn't quite seem so
imperative anymore.

The family was waiting in the kitchen, but there were no high buildings to jump
off of, so I just took a deep breath and let Alice steer me around the counter
toward them. They'd been talking quietly among themselves, but they stopped
talking when me and Alice came into view. It was the four sisters and the
mother—no sign of the doctor guy—and every single one of them stared me with
their mouths open. I almost died. Five sets of gorgeous eyes flickered over my
shamefully attired body and I think I would've felt more comfortable if they
pricked me with pins instead.

"Guys," Alice announced cheerfully. "You remember my girlfriend Bella?"

I managed to feel a flush of pride at the title of "Alice's Girlfriend," but
self-consciousness was my greatest concern at the moment. I tried to smile at
them, and I wasn't encouraged by how they all exchanged silent glances before
looking back at me with a variety of expressions. Jane gave me a smirk of mock
sympathy, as if she thought it was sad that I tried but kind of cute, and
Victoria glanced me over with her usual amusement, and Esme seemed a little
uncomfortable. Rosalie's expression was blank, but I got the feeling she felt
sorry for me, and Leah simply looked me over boldly and gave me a friendly
smile.

I took a quick inventory of their own outfits, and I tried to convince myself
it wasn't that bad. Like Alice had said, they were all dressed up, and maybe me
and Alice weren't really so bad.

Most conservatively dressed was Esme, naturally. She wore a cream-colored dress
that almost blended with the furniture, and patent leather sandals that were
also cream-colored. The shoes had a modest heel, and the dress clung to her
womanly figure, not tightly, but snugly around her breasts and waist. Her
caramel-colored hair was shiny and styled into a refined bun.

Leah was next most conservative, but only because she always dressed kind of
sexy. She was all in black, black tanktop, black skirt, black boots. It was
little different from the kind of stuff she wore to school, but it all looked a
little more stylish than usual. Her skirt was a mini, almost the same as mine,
and her boots were high-heeled and suede leather. They looked incredibly
expensive.

Rosalie look plain incredible. She wore a glamorous silver evening dress that
was covered in diamantes. She sparkled like crystal and the dress was cut
diagonally across her amazingly long legs. She was wearing silver leather
heeled sandals with a diamond ankle bracelet. Her platinum blonde hair fell in
gorgeous waves over her bare shoulders and her eyelashes were long enough to
cause a pang in my heart from across the room as she swept her ice blue eyes
over my outfit.

Victoria was the sexiest person in the room, aside from Alice. She was sitting
on a stool and it was difficult not to notice that her legs were crossed—and
very bare. She wore a flaming red cocktail dress that was short and tight with
spaghetti straps, and red spike heels. Her skin was pale like porcelain, and
she wore red lipstick and red nail polish. Her ample breasts bulged from the
neckline of her dress, and she projected an image of sultry desirability that
was hard to look away from.

And most outlandish of all—even worse than me and Alice maybe—was Jane. She
wore a shiny pink cocktail dress, short and strapless, and shiny pink heels.
Her strawberry blonde hair was tied into twin pigtails with pink scrunchies,
and her lipstick and eyeshadow was all candypink as well. Like me and Alice she
seemed to have taken advantage of the occasion, because it wasn't really the
kind of outfit she could wear outdoors—unless she was cosplaying some anime
character at comic-con.

They were five of the most amazing looking women I'd ever seen in my life, and
suddenly I felt very plain and human, even in the outfit I was wearing. None of
them seem particularly eager to say hi, so Alice stepped forward and smiled all
round.

"Come on, you guys," she said with gentle insistence. "Say hello."

They shared another round of glances and, amazingly, it was Victoria who first
spoke. She sighed at her family's reluctance, and then unfolded her legs with a
flourish, hopped off the stool, and sauntered up to me with a smile.

"Bella," she said, rolling my name off her tongue in a deliberate fashion.
"Alice has insisted that we all have to be especially nice to you, so allow me
to be the first to extend my formal affections."

She then took my hands and bent slightly to kiss me. I assumed she'd be aiming
for my cheek, like they probably did two hundred years ago, but instead her
lips landed flush against mine. And it wasn't a peck, either. She pressed her
lips firmly to mine and held them there for a moment. It was the kind of kiss
that could possibly occur between cousins under certain circumstances, but it
was far to intimate for a greeting between strangers.

I blushed, naturally, and when she finally pulled back I was kind of dazed. I
had no idea if I was supposed to pretend that was normal or if I should fling
her away like a harlot. Looking at her from this close, I could see that she
was even more beautiful than I thought. She was still holding my hands and she
offered me a dazzling smile, displaying a set of perfect white teeth—and two
pointy fangs.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," she said. "We'll be good friends,
yes?"

I tried to smile. "Um, sure."

I thought that would have concluded the whole introduction, so I tried to tug
my hands away gently, but she didn't let go and I didn't try again. She looked
me up and down and curved her red lips into a smirk. "And may I observe that
you look utterly ravishing this evening?"

At that, Alice finally intervened. She took my arm and pulled me toward her
possessively, and I was relieved when my hands came away from the redhead's.

"No, you may not," Alice said with a smile. "I don't want you observing
anything about my girlfriend—other than the fact that she's my girlfriend."

I felt another flush of pride at the word girlfriend, and smiled shyly.
Victoria gave Alice a certain smile and then focused the same smile on me.

"Alice is such a silly thing, isn't she? She thinks I'm trying to flirt with
you."

I thought it was supposed to be a joke so I forced a polite chuckle.

Alice snorted. "Tell you what, Vicky," she said. "Why don't you back up a few
steps and we won't argue about it? Besides…" Alice wrapped her arms around my
waist from behind and placed a kiss beside my ear. "Bella belongs to me, don't
you Bella?"

A bit possessive maybe, but yeah. Basically I belong to her. I gave her a shy
smile and said: "Of course."

Jane giggled at that. "Yeah, I like this one," she said, and then she skipped
over to kiss my cheek quickly. "It's too bad I didn't see you first. I could
have a lot of fun with a girl like you, although I couldn't promise you'd live
through it. Maybe you're better off with Alice—even if she is the ugly sister."

Alice giggled, still holding me around the waist. "Screw you, Jane."

"Later," Jane said, then winked at me. "After you've ditched the human."

Well. It seemed Jane was as sadistic as ever. As if I wasn't worried enough
about the possibility of Alice cheating on me, she had to go and directly
insinuate it. I just prayed she was joking, although in a houseful of lesbian
vampires, anything was possible.

Jane giggled. "Or better yet, let her join in," she added. "She couldn't be too
terrible in bed if she's held your attention this long. Why, we've hardly seen
Alice naked all month, have we girls?"

She made the last comment over the shoulder, but mercifully no one took the
bait. Rosalie was leaning against the counter, not even watching, and Victoria
only smirked. Leah smiled to herself, and when she caught Jane's eye she patted
her leg to summon her over. Jane went back to her lover's side, rather
dutifully, and settled against her with Leah's arms around her, similar to how
me and Alice were standing.

Alice meanwhile chuckled softly in my ear and whispered: "Don't listen to her,
she's just mean. I'd never touch anyone but you."

It was supposed to be reassuring, and I did manage a smile, but inside my
stomach felt like it was made out of lead. I was surrounded by the sexiest
women I'd seen in my life and suddenly I realized how out of my element I was.
I'd never been comfortable with any adult but mom, and these weren't just
adults; these were immortals. I knew enough to know that Alice and Jane were
mostly phony, but did that mean Jane was just making fun, or that Alice was
lying when she said she'd never touch anyone but me? I already knew that
Victoria and Rosalie had certain benefits to their relationship, and from
things I'd seen at school, I'd be willing to bet that Leah and Jane had
something similar. Was it possible that Alice was getting benefits, too?

"Well, Bella," Esme said, breaking the tension. She offered me a warm smile.
"Are you hungry?"

I smiled politely, and now that she mentioned it, I could smell a very
tantalizing aroma from the oven. "Starving."

"Well, dinner will be ready very soon, so while we wait why don't you play some
video games with Jane?"

"Um, okay."

Alice released me and grabbed the wine bottle off the counter. "Hey, Esme," she
said, pouring herself a glass. Some of the other's already had glasses.
"Where's Carlisle? I promised Bella he might show her his collection of first
editions."

"Oh, he should be home any minute."

And just as she said it, we all heard the front door open and close.

Esme smiled. "And there he is."

I felt a rush of self-consciousness. The sisters had been bad enough, but how
could I ever live it down if a guy saw me in these clothes? It was only Alice's
dad-person, but still; it would be so embarrassing.

I moved closer to Alice instinctively, putting her between me and the rest of
the room, and soon the doctor came in. He was wearing a shirt and tie, and once
again I was struck by how good looking he was. Not in a traditional masculine
way—he certainly wasn't big and rugged. He was tall but slender, and his
features were youthful and effeminate. His hair was yellow-blonde and his eyes
had a feminine shape and sparkly beauty.

Esme was the first to greet him, kissing him on the lips, in a typical wife
fashion. Alice and Jane greeted him loudly, like teenage daughters who actually
like their dad, and both of them actually went over and kissed him on the
cheek. More surprisingly, both Leah and Victoria kissed him on the cheek as
well, albeit without the fanfare. It was a warm example of a pretend family
unit, but funnily enough, Rosalie seemed the most authentic. She was still
stationed in the corner, leaning against the counter with her arms folded and
her usual cold expression. She glanced at him, but that's it. No kiss, no
hello. So far I hadn't heard her speak at all, and I wondered why my presence
bothered her so badly.

Finally the doctor guy, Carlisle, turned his attention to me. He'd been
politely greeting his family first, and now he looked me over with absolutely
no judgment in his eyes, and smiled. "Good evening, Bella," he said friendlily.
"You look very beautiful."

I blushed, but really I was grateful for his tact. He was obviously obligated
to say something, but he'd said it very perfunctory, as if I could've been
wearing anything at all.

Alice, however, seemed to take it personally. She giggled and swatted his arm.
"Jeez, why is everyone so determined to hit on my girl? I said be nice to her,
I didn't say throw yourselves at her."

Victoria smiled and sipped from her wine glass. "We're only being polite,
Alice," she said. "As you've instructed, by the way."

"Yeah, well, you've been polite enough," Alice told them. Then she turned to
the doctor guy. "Hey, Carlisle, do you think you could show Bella your
collection of first editions? She loves old books and stuff, and I promised you
might show her."

"Of course," he smiled. "Bella, if you'll follow me?"

I glanced at Alice for guidance and Alice nodded encouragingly. I was
disappointed she wouldn't be coming with me, but I followed her dad, anyway,
leaving her with her sisters.

Carlisle led me into his study, a smallish room with two walls completely
covered with bookcases. There was a darkwood desk with a quartz clock and gold
penholders. A small stack of books lay on it and a folded laptop. The light in
the ceiling cast a warm yellow glow and it seemed like a cozy little room.

"Firstly," he said, taking a pair of gold-rimmed spectacles from the breast
pocket pf his shirt. "I'd like to examine your neck, if you don't mind."

It took me by surprise, but it seemed sensible enough. "Um, okay," I said,
taking off the collar. "The marks are almost gone."

He put on the glasses and bent slightly to my neck. The glasses perched on the
end of his nose and I wondered why he was wearing them. Vampires had great
eyesight; they could even see in the dark. I felt curious, and since he seemed
like a decent guy, I decided to take the risk of asking him.

"Do you need those glasses?"

He smiled and shook his head. "No," he said, taking them off. "Force of habit.
We become very devoted to our disguises over time."

I nodded, and he motioned at the pale marks on my neck.

"I can see Alice has been a little rougher than she ought to have been, but
you're healing fine."

He touched my neck gently, the area around the marks. I frowned, because, well,
I'm not used to people touching me, doctor or not.

"This slight discoloration is caused by vampire venom," he told me. "It's
nothing to worry about. It'll fade soon."

I frowned questioningly. "Venom?"

"Yes," he said. "Vampire venom contains a mild anti-coagulant to thin the blood
and prevent the wound from closing while feeding. It's what allows Alice to
keep the bite shallow and non-life threatening. Without the venom, she'd have
to pierce your artery, which would be fatal."

"Oh. So it's not going to, like, turn me?"

He smiled. "No," he said. "It won't turn you." Then he turned to the bookcase
on the left and waved a hand at it loosely. "This is the collection Alice spoke
of. Many of these are over a two hundred years old, at least."

"Cool," I said, giving the bookcase a perfunctory glance. "Hey, um, can I ask
you a question?"

I was curious about this turning stuff. Alice wouldn't talk about it yet, but
maybe this guy would.

He nodded. "Of course," he said. "What would you like to know?"

"Well, um… I was just wondering. How exactly does a person turn? You know, into
a vampire."

He smiled and looked at the bookshelf. Then he looked at me. "I'm afraid that's
something you'll need to discuss with Alice," he said. "Suffice to say, it's
not as simple as one could hope. Nor even desirable. Vampirism is a curse,
after all."

"It seems pretty cool to me."

"Feeding from the blood of the innocent appeals to you, does it?"

I faltered slightly, but even that didn't seem like a big deal, as long as you
didn't have to kill people. "Well, no, but… Can't you, like, drink animal blood
or something?"

He shook his head with a small smile. "No," he said. "The lust doesn't tend us
toward that direction. In any case, the blood itself seems mostly incidental.
It's the act we crave."

He had a British accent, which was weird because he'd spoken American when I
first saw him at the hospital with mom. I felt a little uncomfortable at the
mention of lust—it made me remember what I was wearing and what I looked
like—but I found the conversation fascinating.

"But how do you feed from people without hurting them?" I asked.

"We don't," he said simply. "Some degree of harm is inevitable, sadly. Even if
it's just a superficial bite wound."

I grinned tentatively. "So, what? You just walk up to someone, bite them, and
run away again?"

He chuckled. "No," he said, "but perhaps that would be less monstrous than the
reality."

"What do you mean?"

He hesitated a moment, wondering if he should tell me or not. "I think you
should talk about this with Alice," he said finally.

I nodded, but went on, anyway. "There's a girl at my school," I said,
remembering Lauren. "She had a mark on her neck, but it wasn't a bite. Jane
said that she was going to…"

"Your friend will be fine," he said with a nod. "We're very careful not to take
lives, even Jane. Do you have a favorite author?"

He deflected the conversation to the bookcase, and I decided to let it go. I'd
have to talk about it with Alice, though. I really wanted to know how vampire
fed casually, and so far all I could picture was a classical scenario of Jane
crawling though Lauren's bedroom window in a cloak, creeping up to her bed, and
somehow biting her without waking her up or leaving a bite mark.

"Well," I said, glancing over the bookcase. "I like Jane Austen."

It was a very generic pick, and he smiled.

"Naturally," he said.

"And Emily Bronte," I added, which was less conventional but more honest. "I
love Wuthering Heights."

"Alice loves that one, too." He moved to the wall where something was hanging
in a glass frame. He took it down and handed it to me. "This is an original
manuscript of Emily Bronte's poetry," he told me. "I bought it at auction
several years ago."

"Wow," I breathed, looking it over. It was a plain page, yellow with age, and
covered in ink. A lot of the writing was unreadable and what struck me most was
how messy her handwriting was. A lot of the words were crossed out and there
were doodles in the margins, crude pictures of snakes and swords. It looked
like a page out of my own notebook, and I felt a weird affinity. I looked up at
the doctor with a grin. "This is Emily Bronte's handwriting? I can barely read
it."

He chuckled once. "You should see Shakespeare's handwriting," he said. "Do you
enjoy poetry?"

"I love it," I said, and it was rare for me to be so honest.

"Do a have a favorite poet?"

My smiled dimmed slightly at that. Technically, my favorite poet was Sappho,
but for a very shallow reason; she was a lesbian. Beyond that, I really knew
nothing about her. Her work was too complicated for me to understand, and
hardly any of it even existed any more. I hate to be the kind of girl who's
overly concerned with her own orientation, but I couldn't help it. Even in
books and TV shows. If there was a lesbian in the cast, that character would
automatically become my favorite character.

But I didn't want to look like an idiot in front of this guy, so I just
shrugged. "I'm not sure," I said. "Maybe Edgar Allen Poe, or Alexander Pope. I
like stuff that isn't all romantic garbage. I hate Byron. I laugh out loud
reading that stuff."

I could've elaborated a little more on why love poems are stupid, but I stopped
myself. Contempt for straight romance was really just another way of trying to
validate my sexuality, and it was something I needed to grow out of. It was
hard though. I'd been hated at school for such a long time that it was hard not
to hate back; even if it was just secretly.

The doctor took something off the shelf and handed it to me. "This is a first
edition of Poe's collected works," he said. "It's quite valuable considering
how few were printed and how popular he's become."

I nodded, flipping through it. It was far better preserved that the Emily
Bronte sample, but that had been a manuscript written by the woman herself.
This had been printed. I kept flipping, and the page landed on Masque of the
Red Death. I smiled, thinking of Alice for some reason, then I closed the book
and handed it back.

I glanced the shelf over one more time. "Hey, um," I began tentatively. "Do you
have any Sappho?"

It was a totally stupid question, but I couldn't help hoping. I knew that most
of her work was lost in history, but since he was a vampire, I thought maybe he
might've collected something hundreds of years ago, when the work still
existed.

But he shook his head. "No." he said. "Only fragments of Sappho's poetry have
survived over the centuries. Most of it was destroyed by her contemporaries
after her death or in various religious purges throughout the ages. I'm sure
you're aware that her subject matter was rather risqué."

I nodded, blushing. I was reluctant to talk about it with a stranger—and even
worse, a guy—but I felt kind of comfortable with him for some reason. He struck
me as very wise and completely non-judgmental, and it seemed like I could talk
to him about anything and receive an intelligent response.

"She's supposed to have written lesbian stuff," I said, blushing over the word
lesbian. "But I never really got it. I tried reading some on the internet, but
it was too complicated."

"It loses a lot in translation," he said. "You really need to understand
ancient greek to appreciate it properly."

"Do you understand ancient greek?"

He nodded. "One of the key characteristics of Sappho's poetry was themes of
companionship and understanding. Equality. Her peers were more focused on clear
cut themes of domination and submission. It's what made Sappho's poetry unique,
along with her fascination with lesbian attraction."

I blushed all over again, and since he seemed to know much more than me on the
subject—he even knew ancient greek—I couldn't help asking one more question.
"But was she really gay, though?" I asked. "I read that she was supposed to
have killed herself over some guy."

He shrugged a shoulder and leaned a hip on the edge of his desk. "Little of her
life is known," he said, "and over the years history has attempted to force her
into many different molds. Wife, mother, lesbian. And, of course, she's also
been heavily slandered by jealous male contemporaries. Ancient Greece was a
very patriarchal society. The notion of an independent woman would've been
provoking to men of that time, so they created a mythically handsome fisherman
named Pharon who slept with her, rejected her, and caused her to jump off a
cliff because no one else could ever satisfy her—effectively flipping her
legacy of independence into a simple example of the indomitable power of male
sexuality."

Inwardly, I felt crushed that the ancient Greeks would do something like that
to a woman like Sappho—what assholes—but outwardly, I just snorted. "That
sucks," I said.

He smiled and shrugged again loosely. "Well, most scholars agree that it's only
a legend, and most people would be intelligent enough to dismiss it as such.
But does it really matter? Fact or fiction, the real truth is what enabled the
myth to be conceived in the first place. We all have our preferences, but the
world has preferences of it's own, and it does seem to have a taste for
feminine helplessness. Even a woman with the talent and spirit of Sappho
couldn't retain her independence indefinitely. It's sad. Those whom life
doesn't humble, death will. One by one we all come to be cured of our
sentiments. Those who live to see it, those who don't."

It seemed like a sad little speech, but he delivered it very matter-of-factly.
He was looking at the book case, but then he turned to me and smiled.

"Have you written any poetry yourself?"

"Oh," I stammered, suddenly blushing. "No. I don't write."

He obviously didn't believe me. "No?" he smiled.

He was trying to encourage me, and I couldn't help grinning. I shrugged and
looked away, and I was very tempted to tell him. Absolutely no one knew about
my hobby, but if you can't trust your secrets to a total stranger, who can you
trust them to?

"Well, you know," I said, straining for casualness. "A couple things. Just for
fun. Just…you know."

He smiled. "Love poems?" he inquired.

I blushed again—I seemed to be blushing a lot around this guy. "Yeah," I said.
"I guess so."

"I thought you laugh at that romantic garbage?"

More blushing. "Well, you know," I said, and then I giggled. "I'm a hypocrite."

"Tell me one of them," he said.

My heart skipped a beat. "Huh?"

He smiled. "Tell me one of your poems," he repeated. "I'm curious."

I fell silent for a second, my mouth open. I looked at the book case and back
at him. I had several of my poems memorized, but none of them were good enough
to actually say out loud—especially to a guy like this, a guy who collected
antique first editions and wore intelligent looking glasses even though he
didn't have to.

But at the same time I was tempted. I mean, why not? He probably wouldn't laugh
at me or call me a moron. In fact, so far he'd been nicer to me than any of his
daughters, aside from Alice. He even seemed genuinely interested, and as a
total stranger I didn't really have to care about his opinion. Besides, he'd
already proven himself to be an open-minded kind of guy. I'd walked into his
house wearing a satin halter and a skin tight miniskirt, and he hadn't even
blinked. If there was anyone I could recite a poem to without dying from self-
consciousness it was probably this guy.

"Well," I said demurely. "I wrote one about Alice."

He smiled, and I noticed he had a very beautiful smile. It didn't show any of
his teeth, but it lent his whole face a warm radiance, like an angel. "That
sounds sweet," he said.

I shook my head, still blushing. "It's not very good."

"I'm sure it's lovely."

"Well," I said, truly tempted. "There's one I wrote recently. It's called 'Come
to Me.'"

He nodded. "Go on."

A cold wave of anxiety swept over me, but I steeled myself. I was standing
there in my miniskirt and black heels, pigeon-toed like a little girl, my legs
embarrassingly bare. I had no idea what to do with my hands, so I just wrung
them nervously, and I could feel my heart hammering in my chest. I felt weirdly
like an eight year old trying to impress her dad at a piano recital, but it
wasn't really a bad feeling. I was painfully shy, but excited too. I took a
deep breath, swallowed, and began:

"Come to me,

We'll never be apart.

Come to me,

To you I'll pledge my heart.

When I close my eyes,

You're there in the dark.

Come to me,

And please accept my love."

My whole body seemed to be blushing and when it was finally over I felt like
I'd been through an Apache manhood ordeal. My face was burning and there were
lumps of nervousness in my throat and my stomach—but somehow I seemed to be
smiling. I knew it was crap, and my voice had been stilted and nervous, but
he'd listened with an expression of polite interest that was neutral enough to
keep me from outright throwing up.

"It's pretty dumb," I said meekly, "but…"

"It was very lovely," he said with a smile. "A little clunky, perhaps, but very
earnest."

I nodded, and maybe I felt just a little proud. "Thanks," I said.

—

Dinner was less horrific that I thought it would be, mostly thanks to Alice and
Jane. Keeping consistent with their teen-girl personas, they were loud,
boisterous, and extremely nonsensical. They helped Esme serve dinner while the
rest of us sat around the dinner table in attitudes of formal awkwardness—well,
I was awkward, they seemed to be bored—and they didn't stop bickering for a
moment, which at least provided a distraction and something to pretend to be
amused at. Alice set my plate in front of me and touched my hair tenderly with
a smile, and I was pleasantly surprised when I observed Esme repeat the exact
same action to her husband. Like mother like daughter, I guess.

When everyone was seated, we went through the pantomime of flattering the
chefs—Esme and Leah, strangely—and finally we started to eat. It was Coq au
Vin, which seemed to be French for Chicken with Some Kind of White Sauce. It
was restaurant quality, and I wish I could've been more enthusiastic about how
much I liked it, but I was still crippled by nervousness. My outfit was still
absurd, and Alice hadn't offered to let me borrow a pair of pants or a jacket
to cover myself. I was so embarrassed I even began to appreciate mom's wisdom;
a jacket and a pair of pants seemed like a pretty great idea right about now.
But at least I wasn't so bad compared to the other girls at the table. Rosalie
and Jane both seemed a little over-dressed in their gaudy silver and pink
cocktail dresses, and Alice herself was right beside me in her tube top and
tutu. The only person wearing pants at the table was Alice's dad-guy.

Alice and Jane were the life of the party, and they didn't let the evening sink
into silence for a single second. They talked about music, movies, school,
politics, anything at all that seemed to pop into their heads. They giggled,
they bickered, they insulted their sisters at every opportunity—and, like good
hostesses, they managed to draw the rest of us into the insanity, too.

Most of their attention was focused on me, and they made a great tag-team, like
good cop bad cop. Alice would encourage me for a comment or opinion and Jane
would mock it in her usual sadistic manner, which would then provoke a riposte
from Alice, and maybe a chuckle from Leah or Victoria. Esme would scold them
from time to time, whenever they swore or fed the cat from the table—as if they
really were misbehaved teenagers—and even Carlisle had a role to play. It was
pretty obvious that Alice was his favorite, and he seemed to side with her on
every issue. Every time Jane said something particularly mean, Alice would
throw a puppy-dog look at Carlisle and Carlisle would scold Jane gently and
tell her to be nice.

He even sided against his wife on one occasion. Alice had offered me wine, but
her mom insisted I have water, to which Alice appealed to her dad for a ruling.
The man was clearly troubled by the ethical implications of letting a scantily
clad teenage girl drink alcohol under his roof, but he suggested to his wife
that perhaps just one glass would do no harm.

Esme didn't budge, however, and apologized to me for her daughter's
irresponsibility, adding that she hoped I was mature enough not to let Alice
pressure me into various other immoralities. I agreed that I needed to be firm
with my rambunctious girlfriend, but sitting there in my slut-suit after being
freshly fucked in the back seat of her car, I'm not sure how firm I was capable
of being.

And, of course, none of this made an agreeable impression on Alice, who pouted
and observed how unfair it was that she never got her way in this family. She
explained succinctly that I, Bella, was her girlfriend, and it was her,
Alice's, prerogative to corrupt me in any way she managed to acquire consent.
She then went on to add to her parents that they "don't own her" and that she
was a "grown woman," which might've been overkill, but still rather
entertaining.

Esme was unmoved, however, and the Cullen sisters soon offered their own
opinions on the subject. Jane was tactful enough to observe that, dressed as I
was, a single glass of wine was hardly likely to encourage me into any behavior
I wasn't already determined on, and Victoria, too, mentioned that in her day it
was common for a girl to drink wine as early as twelve years old, and nothing
could be healthier.

But social protocol was not an argument but rather the issue itself, as Esme
rebutted, for in today's society there were certain laws to be observed in
these situations and no reason at all not to observe them as observe them we
should. She then went on to explain, to me mostly, that the modern world
required a higher standard of decision making than in simpler eras, especially
for young people, and whether the question was one glass or ten, the issue
remained that a wise girl would do best to simply respect the laws that society
has established for her protection—regardless of how trivial they may seem
moment to moment.

No one had an argument to that, and even Alice seemed to acknowledge the wisdom
of it. I didn't end up with any wine, but it was all very domestic, and I
actually found myself loosening up a little, alcohol or not.

I ate steadily and as neatly as possible, although I had to admit that my
appetite was somewhat dampened by the fact that I was surrounded by several of
the sexiest women I'd ever seen in my life. My eyes kept flickering over their
faces or shoulders, and they were so beautiful that I'd get a pang in my
stomach each time, especially when I looked at the blonde or redhead. The
redhead caught me looking at one point and gave me such a steady stare of her
exquisite emerald eyes that my mouth went completely dry and I couldn't taste
the food for a full minute.

Conversation continued on a more casual track, Jane and Alice discussing how
much they hated math—it was the only thing they'd agreed on so far—and I was
very fascinated by their family interactions. I remembered that Carlisle had
said that they become very devoted to their disguises over time. I thought they
might've been grateful for an audience, even though I knew what they all really
were, and I had the impression that they were probably a much more subdued
group when there was no human around. Esme was a pitch perfect stern mother—a
more refined version of my own—and Carlisle was the perfect picture of a doting
dad. Jane was a quintessential mean sister, Leah was a very convincing cool
sister, and Victoria was absolutely amazing as the hot sister.

The only one who seemed disinterested in maintaining any kind of façade was
Rosalie, and strangely I found that far more fascinating than any of the
others. She wasn't even eating. She simply sat there with a glass of white wine
held elegantly in her hand, leaning back in her chair, her legs crossed under
the table, perhaps. She was breathlessly beautiful, more beautiful that Alice
even, and so incredibly cold. I glanced at her very frequently, and I found
myself fascinated by her every action, every sip of her wine, every cold glance
she tossed at one of her sisters. I had no idea what was running through her
head, but I was no longer convinced it was anything simple—her very silence
itself seemed complicated. Why was she even here if it was so distasteful to
her?

"So, Bella," Jane said suddenly, when there was a lull in the conversation.
"Tell us how you hooked up with Alice. We've all heard it from her, but we want
to hear it in your words. Don't we, Rose?"

Rosalie glanced at her dryly. She still hadn't touched her food and she didn't
appear to give a fuck how I hooked up with Alice, my words or any other's. I
had a feeling Jane was only trying to be mean, this time to Rosalie, which
seemed awfully brave.

The others, however, were looking at me with interest, and I realized I'd
better say something. "Well," I said. "We met in biology."

It was a very weak beginning, but Jane, like Alice, was an expert in moving a
conversation forward. "Oooh, biology," she said, with a smirk. "And did you
admire Alice's biology right from the beginning?"

I blushed. Alice had shifted her chair closer to mine slightly, and she was
smiling at me excitedly. I glanced at her, blushed even more, and said: "Sure."

I wanted to elaborate for Alice's sake, but it was difficult for me in public.
Alice giggled, anyway, and Leah smiled. "Alice said you couldn't keep your eyes
off her," she said, and I nodded eagerly. Leah was easier to talk to than Jane,
so I chuckled.

"Yeah," I said. "I was mesmerized. She was so…"

"Pretty?" Jane offered.

"Beautiful?" Leah suggested.

Victoria smirked. "Gorgeous?"

I blushed with each adjective, but honestly none of them did Alice justice. The
redhead's struck me as the most accurate, though, and the redhead herself was
very hot which created an impulse to agree with her regardless. "Gorgeous," I
nodded, with a glance at the redhead, and then at Alice. "She was gorgeous."

Alice grinned. "And Bella was very beautiful, too," she said, leaning over in
her chair to hug me. "It was love at first sight, wasn't it Bella?"

Technically it was love before first sight—I'd been in love with her before I'd
even met her. "Yeah," I agreed, leaning into the hug a little.

"Aww," Jane cooed with a great deal of exaggeration. "How sweet. Isn't that the
sweetest thing you've ever heard, guys? It was love at first sight."

I grinned at her obvious sarcasm. I never would've believed in love at first
sight, either, if it had never happened to me.

"It really was, though," I said, insisting with a smile. "Seriously. It was
like there was electricity between us. I was blushing so bad it felt like my
face was on fire." I was blushing even now, and a giggle escaped me as I
remembered our first moments in biology. "I almost fell off my chair when she
tried to shake my hand," I said, glancing at her shyly. "Even now I go all
tingly when she touches me."

Jane smiled. "That's so cute," she said. Then she turned to Rose. "Isn't that
cute, Rose?"

Rosalie snorted without looking at me. "Yes," she said dryly. "Nothing more
charming than the mindless fawning of a stupid teenager."

It was the first words I'd heard from her all night, and they hurt me much more
than they should've. I'd been developing a strange respect for her silent
suffering, and I was irrationally crushed that the respect wasn't mutual. I was
also pissed at Jane. Why did she have to be so provoking?

Alice looked at Rosalie, frowning slightly. "Rose," she said. "You promised
you'd be nice."

The venomous blonde glanced at her, but said nothing. Victoria was smiling, and
Esme looked like she wanted to either scold Rosalie or apologize on Rosalie's
behalf, but she didn't. Rosalie had broken character and no one really knew how
to react.

Jane was grinning, looking particularly evil with her blonde pigtails and pink
eyeshadow. "Yeah, don't listen to Rose," she said, brushing it off. "She's just
upset Alice hasn't been putting out as much lately. Tell us about your first
date together, that oughta be interesting."

I assumed that bit about Alice putting out was just a joke—prayed that it was
just a joke—and after a bit of encouragement from Alice and Leah, I started
telling them about our first date. Alice was excited to hear me talk about it,
so I emphasized certain elements for her enjoyment, like how excited I was and
how nervous. I told them about how I'd bought a whole knew outfit for it and
how pretty Alice had looked. I told them that I took her out for pizza and to a
movie. I left out the part about having sex in her car, because, well, I wasn't
really that kind of girl and I didn't want to give the wrong impression.

I disliked being the center of attention, but Jane refrained from reducing me
to tears with her constant stings and Alice was always there to back me up with
some fawning of her own. Rosalie continued to ignore me, Leah and Carlisle
listened politely, and Esme smiled from time to time.

The oddity was Victoria. She was mostly quiet, like her partner, but she wasn't
ignoring me—she was staring at me. I hadn't really noticed before—either she
had been discrete or I was distracted by Alice—but I noticed now. Every time my
eyes chanced a flicker in her direction they'd meet hers, and I'd look away
just as quickly. She was sipping red wine and her expression could only be
described as vampiric; calm, evaluating, wolfish. She was staring at me as if
wondering which part was tastiest, and it made me feel decidedly soft and warm
blooded. My heart quickened every time I looked away from her hot eyes, but I
felt safe beside Alice, and I found it strangely flattering.

Pretty soon we were finished eating. Esme served coffee and dessert, which was
delicious, and then she started clearing away the plates. Alice's dad had
already excused himself after the meal, and his wife seemed eager to catch up
with him. Leah and Jane had also excused themselves to go play video games, and
Victoria had taken a casual perch on Rosalie's lap while she sipped her coffee
daintily and whispered things into her lover's ear, thing's that didn't seem to
impress the blonde but made the redhead smirk wider and wider. They were
completely ignoring me and Alice, aside from an occasional glance at me, and
the spectacle was so hot I found it difficult to stay focused on Alice. Alice
had shifted her chair even closer to mine, and she was whispering something to
me about taking me home so we could enjoy a second dessert, when Esme reached
over and took my plate.

"Oh, um," I said, blushing from Alice's suggestions. "Can I help clean up?"

"No, no, no," Esme said, smiling. "I've got it under control. In fact, it's
getting a little late. When will your mother be expecting you home? I don't
want Alice getting you in trouble with your family."

I looked at the clock on the wall: nine thirty. "Well, she said eleven, but…"

"Esme's right," Alice said, hopping to her feet and brushing down her lacy
skirt. She smiled and offered a hand. "I should probably take you home, hm?"

I smiled and place my hand in hers, letting her help me up. I didn't require
the assistance, of course—even in heels—but it was a gallant gesture that made
me flutter, anyway. Truth be told, I was happy that the night was finally over,
and I was greatly looking forward to getting Alice in bed. Dinner had been a
terrible strain on my nerves, and I wanted nothing more than to simply get
naked and relax in Alice's arms.

Considering how early I'd gotten up this morning, it would still be very early
to go to bed—even by the time we got home—but Alice had a talent for kissing a
girl goodnight and I had to admit I was looking forward to that, too. Images of
her sisters in sexual situations had been popping into my head all night—no
matter how much I tried to block them out—and ogling their legs or breasts at
every opportunity had taken a sad toll on my libido. It's common knowledge that
lesbians aren't necessarily attracted to every female they meet, but I was
starting to suspect that I might be a different kind of lesbian, because I
really did seem a little pussy-crazy.

In any case, it was Alice's pussy I loved and wanted, and I would've been
looking forward to expressing that love regardless of where my eyes had strayed
during the night.

Unfortunately, however, there remained the trial of saying goodbye to her
family. Esme had continued onto the kitchen and I wanted to thank her for
dinner, but what about the others? I wasn't sure if I was supposed to go say
anything to Alice's dad, but I figured Alice would let me know.

Only two of her sisters were still in the room, so I turned to them first,
forcing my mouth into a brittle smile. I'd never had much luck speaking to
these two, but the redhead seemed to have warmed to me over dinner, and I
wasn't expecting anything from the blonde, anyway.

"Well," I said, politely enough. "See you."

The redhead smiled. "Leaving already?"

I was still holding Alice's hand and I inched closer to her, as if to try and
urge her on. "Yeah," I said to the redhead. "It was nice to, you know. Meet
you. Again."

The redhead looked at me for a second and then looked at the blonde. She
whispered something and the blonde shook her head. Then the redhead hopped off
her lover's lap and came sauntering around the dining table toward me.

"Hey, I have an idea," she said. "Why don't I show you my room? We can be alone
in there, and there's so many things I can tell you about our darling Alice. As
her big sister it's my duty to embarrass her as horribly as possible."

Nervousness flared in my stomach at the idea of being alone with any Cullen but
Alice, and I quickly wracked my brain for a polite excuse. But came up empty,
so I just glanced at Alice, and Alice smiled.

"She's pretty tired, Vicky," Alice said to her sister. "Maybe some other time."

"Don't be so possessive, Alice," the redhead said, and then she smiled and took
my hand directly out of Alice's, causing a jolt to shoot up my arm. "I'm sure
Bella doesn't need you to make every decision for her, do you Bella?"

I didn't need her to, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't helpful. In any
case, I didn't get a chance to answer. The blonde had drained her wine glass
and now she rose and walked away, without a word or a backward glance at any of
us. I tried not to check out her legs, failed, and turned to Alice.

"Vicky," Alice said, frowning at her sister. "I really think I should take her
home."

But Vicky only smiled and began tugging me away. "Don't worry, honey, you can
have her back when I'm done. Come along, Bella."

I had no idea what I was supposed to do, but I figured that Alice wouldn't let
me go if she didn't want to, and besides—it probably wouldn't kill me to spend
a couple minutes gossiping about my girlfriend with my girlfriend's sister.

The redhead's room was down the corridor from Alice's, and I was surprised by
how slobby it was. The bed was unmade, looking suspiciously as if it had been
used recently, and the floor was littered with clothes and underwear—fancy
underwear. There was a vibrator laying casually on the bedside table and a pair
of handcuffs dangled from the bar over the headboard. The closet was open but
there was no hidden camera that I could see; just clothes, mostly dresses.
There were two full length mirrors and another mirror mounted into a small
vanitytable. On the surface of the vanitytable there was a stack of magazines,
a colony of nailpolish bottles, and a large collection of skin creams and
makeup.

It was a messy room, but strangely it didn't seem dirty. There was a scent of
perfume in the air, and there wasn't any dust at all that I could see.

There was a desk in the corner with a laptop and an iPod dock, and a dresser
against the wall with a large group of framed photographs on the surface. A
quick glanced revealed that Alice was in quite a few of them, either with
Rosalie or Victoria or both at once, and some of them were so old they were
black and white. On the walls there was a couple posters of swimsuit models,
which seemed like a bizarre thing to see in a woman's room—even a lesbian's—and
even more weirdly, there was an old oilpainting propped up on the desk against
the wall. The painting seemed familiar and when I glanced twice I realized it
was a portrait of Alice.

"This is the room I share with Rosalie," Victoria said, as she led me in. "I'm
sorry I couldn't have been bothered to tidy up a little, but it gets messy
again so quickly I hardly see the point."

I chuckled. "I know what you mean," I said, and turned back to the oilpainting.
It was Alice, but she looked different somehow, and a weird floaty feeling
gathered in my stomach as I looked it over. Maybe the artist hadn't been able
to fully capture Alice's unearthly prettiness—but maybe the portrait was cuter
somehow. Her face was rounder in the picture, her cheeks fuller, and she looked
younger. Maybe sixteen, like me. I turned to the redhead and nodded at the
portrait. "Is that Alice?"

A stupid question, but I had a habit of them.

"Yes," Victoria said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed and crossing her
legs. They were still very bare, very long, and very eye-catching. "She was
human in that portrait. It was painted a very long time ago."

I looked at the portrait with renewed interest. So this is what Alice looked
like as a human. She wasn't as pretty as she was now, but her face still struck
me as insanely cute.

But what was it doing in here? Shouldn't it be in Alice's room, or her mother's
room, or somewhere else where it didn't imply that one of these supermodel
chicks had a mega-crush on my girlfriend?

The redhead was watching me examine the portrait and when I turned to her I
nodded at it again. "Why is it hanging in here?" I asked, trying to sound
simply curious.

"It belongs to Rosalie," she said. "Lacking the girl herself, that portrait is
her most prized possession. Rosalie has always had a certain reverence for our
little Alice. Alice is like a mother to her."

My heart sank for some reason. "A mother?"

She nodded and smiled at the portrait. She had reclined on the bed and she was
laying lazily on her side, propped on an elbow. "Yes," she said. "Rosalie was
human when she first met Alice, and like yourself she was very much in awe of
her uncanny cuteness. For a time, Rosalie was devoted to her body and soul, but
I suppose it was not to be. Perhaps fate was reserving her for myself."

I frowned. "Alice?"

She smiled. "Rosalie."

"Oh," I said, feeling like an idiot.

She chuckled softly and gave me a moment to look at the portrait again. It was
amazing to think that Alice had actually existed hundreds of years ago. And
even more amazing to think that somewhere along the way she had met a woman
named Rosalie. A human who'd fallen in love with her, and worshipped her, and…

And what? How come they didn't get their happily ever after? They were both
hot, and Alice herself was amazing. Rosalie was a bit of a bitch, but she was
probably nice to Alice. How come they didn't last?

I didn't know, but it left a bad feeling in my stomach. I turned away from the
portrait and my eyes landed on the collection of photographs on the dresser. I
bent slightly to examine them, a slow sense of amazement stealing over me as I
took in the old clothes, old locations—and yet the same women in every picture,
perpetually young and beautiful through all time. Alice was in at least half of
them, and I felt a huge pang in my heart when my eyes landed on a photograph of
Alice and Rosalie in wedding dresses, holding hands and gazing into each
other's eyes. It was set in an antique silver frame, and the picture was black
and white, so it couldn't possibly have been a legal ceremony, but it still
hurt to know that they had once been that close.

And worst of all? They made a beautiful couple. Looking at them like that,
married, Rosalie gazing down into Alice's face and Alice smiling up into
Rosalie's—looking at them like that, it was impossible not to be sad that they
didn't stay that way.

"We all have a special place in our hearts for Alice," Victoria was saying,
"and we all have our unique ways of expressing it. Rosalie's feelings are very
high and spiritual." She chuckled. "My own feelings for Alice aren't quite so
wholesome. She's a lovely girl and a wonderful companion, but mostly I just
like to fuck her."

The feeling that washed over me was so cold. I turned to the woman who was
lounging on the rumpled bed, my throat closing over. Why did she have to say
that? About my girlfriend?

Her manner and speech had been so refined that it only made the word fuck all
the more jarring. She was watching me with a cat-like expression in her emerald
eyes, and then she smiled and said: "But why lurk over there in the corner like
a frightened mouse? Come closer where we can whisper, you and I. Vampires have
sensitive hearing and it's you and none other I wish to speak to."

I hesitated, waves of coldness washing over my body. I became acutely aware of
my slutty outfit and suddenly I felt very young, stupid, and vulnerable.

Victoria smiled. "Don't be afraid, my dear," she whispered gently, patting a
space on the bed beside her. "Come closer. I have things to tell you. Things
about Alice."

I swallowed, and I figured I'd better just act as casually as possible. There
was a velvet menace in her whole attitude, but I seriously doubted she'd hurt
me, and she hadn't really said anything truly bad. Alice herself had admitted
that the two of them had a history and that the woman was probably jealous. She
was probably only trying to toy with me, just for fun.

So I went over and sat on the edge of the bed. My back was to her and I look
over my shoulder slightly to see her. She sat up, flicked her flaming hair over
her shoulder, and smiled.

"That's better," she said. "Tell me. Does it surprise you that Alice and I were
once lovers?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "Alice mentioned that…"

I let it trail off, and she smiled, flickering her eyes over me.

"She did, did she? And how much exactly has she told you about me?"

She was only maybe a foot away from me and the proximity was making me blush. I
could smell perfume, roses and musk, and her scent was very heady. "Not much."

"Yes," she smiled. "I suppose she wouldn't." She narrowed her eyes playfully.
"We wouldn't want to give you nightmares, would we?"

I smiled hesitantly, her playfulness setting me at ease slightly. "You don't
seem scary to me."

"No? You don't find me just a little intimidating?"

She lifted a hand and brushed my bare shoulder with the back of a knuckle. The
tingles that blazed across the touch almost made me flinch. I shrugged away
from her hand and swallowed.

"Maybe a little," I said.

She smiled. "Good," she said. "As Alice's girlfriend, I'd never harm you, of
course, but maybe it's not harm you need to worry about, hm? Truth be told,
I've never enjoyed inflicting pain on innocent young girls. I like to inflict
other things."

She said it with an extremely flirty undertone that made it abundantly clear
what kinds of things she liked inflicting on girls, and suddenly I realized
that this woman was a lesbian—and I was sitting on her bed.

It was a dizzy thought, and a cold wave of excitement swept over me. Until I'd
met Alice I'd been skeptical that lesbian's even existed outside the
internet—and now here one was, and not just any lesbian; one who looked
amazing, smelled even better, and was staring at me with enough power to almost
make me take off my clothes unconsciously.

I gulped, and I had no idea what to do or say, so instead I tried to change the
subject.

"I thought you were going to tell me about Alice," I said cautiously.

She huffed and broke her stare. "Oh, Alice, Alice, Alice. Why must everything
be about Alice? But very well. If you want to talk about Alice, we'll talk
about Alice. What would you like to know?"

I was taken aback by her little outburst and I couldn't think of a single
thing. But she didn't wait long for a response. A catty smile crossed her face
and she wrapped her arms around my waist from behind—making me freeze in
terror—and rested her chin on my shoulder.

"Shall I tell you of our encounters together?" she whispered into my ear. "Hm?
Of all the things she's begged me to do to her over the years? Thing's beyond
your imagining, I'm sure."

My eyes darted and I just sat there rigid as her scent swirled in my head. "I
doubt it," I said.

She chuckled at that, a breathy chuckle in my ear. "Hmm, that almost sounded
flirtatious," she said. "Shouldn't you be more jealous, my dear? Bare in mind
that you're talking to woman who not only has sexual history with your
girlfriend, but is also vastly more attractive than you. And has the audacity
to say these things to your face. I'm a terrible villain, am I not?"

She was trying to intimidate me, I realized, and it was working really well.
I'd never been comfortable with physical closeness, and having this woman drape
herself over my back while I sat on her bad was almost more than I could
handle. Her words, however, were strangely hollow, and I felt no jealousy at
all. I had faith in Alice, and now more than ever I believed her when she'd
said she'd never leave me.

So I just sat there, stiff as a board, and stared at the wall. "Alice said
she's not interested in you," I said.

But the woman only gave another sultry chuckle in my ear. "How faithful of
her," she said with heavy sarcasm. Then she touched my face with a finger,
brushing aside astray lock of hair. "But maybe you have a point," she
whispered. "Hm? Maybe I'm the one who should be jealous. Me and Alice used to
have sex all day long, and then you came along and suddenly she has better
things to do. Things like you, hm? What do you think, my dear? Do I seem
jealous to you? Jealousy is so unbecoming, isn't it?"

I barely registered anything she said. My face was blazing and all I said was:
"I don't know."

Another lazy chuckle. "Or maybe I should be jealous of Alice," she went on.
"After all, you're quite a lovely girl, aren't you? And human. I can almost
taste your blood just by looking at you…"

Her lips landed on my collar, right where Alice used to bite me, and suddenly I
froze stiller than I'd ever been in my life. I turned my head to her jerkily.
"I have to go," I said, almost whispering.

She smiled and gazed into my face, still holding me around the waist. "Go? Why
do you want to go?"

"It's getting late," I said, swallowing. "My mom will be worried."

Her red lips curved into a wolfish smirk. "And Alice too, hm? I'm sure Alice
would be getting very worried by now."

I frowned at her. Her face was right there in front of me, and she was so sexy,
and her lips looked so succulent. My eyes flickered over her as if I couldn't
help and I said: "Why?"

"Why? Oh, honey. Don't you realize what's happening?"

"No," I said meekly.

She smiled. "No?"

I shook my head. "No."

She looked at me steadily and then very deliberately she licked her lips. Her
tongue grazed her fangs and the gesture was so erotic it made my pussy throb.
She smirked and said: "I think you do."

Suddenly I stood up. Her arms came away from my waist without resistance and I
quickly moved over to the door. She'd left it open when we came in, but I
didn't walk out. I simply paused and turned back to her where she lounged on
the bed watching me, standing there meekly in my satin halter and miniskirt,
hesitant, uncertain. The last few moments were so confusing that I truly wasn't
sure if anything inappropriate had actually happened. The whole conversation
seemed so unrealistic that the only way I could rationalize it was by
convincing myself I was overreacting, and that the redhead hadn't really done
anything improper at all.

So I stood there, waiting for the other woman to get up and lead me out, so we
could pretend everything was normal. "I should probably go," I repeated.

She smiled and sighed, letting her eyes roam over me lazily. Then she rose from
the bed and moved languidly to the door. I felt a surge of relief, thinking the
whole nightmare was over, but then she closed the door. She took the doorknob
and pushed it closed gently but firmly, locking me in. Alone. With her.

"What are you doing?" I asked, trying to keep the fear from my voice.

She turned me and smiled pleasantly.

"What do you mean, dear?"

"Why did you close the door? I said I have to go."

She stared at me and sauntered a few steps closer, swinging her hips. "I know
what you said," she told me. "But I don't want you to go just yet. You'll stay
with me for just a moment, won't you?"

I frowned. "Why?"

She smiled brightly, as if this was very amusing, and said: "Why? Well, to be
blunt, my dear, I had an ulterior motive for inviting you in here. Can you
guess what that is?"

I could guess, but I didn't want to believe it. Could my girlfriend's sister
truly have invited me into her room to seduce me? I couldn't even begin to
understand why she'd want to do that. "No."

She was taller than me, by at least three inches, and she stooped slightly to
stare directly into my face. "I want to test your faithfulness to Alice."

I recoiled slightly but remained rooted to the spot. "What?"

"I want to test your faithfulness to my sister," she repeated. "I want to know
if you truly love her."

I blinked rapidly, unable to look away from her eyes. "I do," I whispered.

She smiled with her full red lips. "You do, hm?"

"Of course," I insisted, an edge of franticness in my voice. I hardly knew what
I was talking about. "Alice is my soulmate."

She gave a sultry giggle. "Excellent," she said. "You've no objection to a
test, then?"

I frowned. "What test?"

She didn't answer; she placed her hands on my shoulders, leaned, and kissed me
full on the lips.

I froze in horror. My lips were parted slightly and all I could do was stand
there as this woman, this stranger, this person who wasn't Alice, kissed me. My
mind clouded over in a red haze of muskiness, and the worst thing about the
kiss was how wonderful it felt. Her lips were larger and fuller than Alice's,
and they were so soft and so indescribably warm. They were pressed flush to my
mouth, gently but firmly. My eyes didn't even close, they simply darted aside,
and over on the desk I could see the oilpainting of Alice.

The kiss seemed to last forever, but finally the woman pulled back, our lips
making a little smacking sound as they disconnected. She smiled and licked
them.

"Mmm," she murmured. "You have lovely lips, my dear." She smirked. "But not
very faithful ones, hm? Alice would be so disappointed…"

I had absolutely nothing to say to that. I was so rattled by how amazing the
kiss had been that I could hardly think, let alone speak. My expression must've
been very pale and frightened, because the woman's smile took a sympathetic
tilt, and she cocked her head. She put a hand on my shoulder and bent to look
into my face.

"But maybe the test was a little unfair, hm?" she whispered. "You love my
sister, I can tell, but you're so weak. Look at you. You can't resist me, can
you? You don't even know how."

She been caressing my shoulder as she spoke and when she finished she leaned
and licked it. I shivered and tried to move, but where could I go? What could I
do?

"Please," I whispered.

"Oh, honey," she chuckled into my lips. "It's a little late to start begging."

That was probably true. My nipples were hard, my pussy was throbbing, and I
knew in that moment that if this woman wanted to fuck me then that was exactly
what I was going to let her do.

Then suddenly she pulled away. "Hey," she said brightly, "I have an idea. Would
you like to play a game?"

She'd asked the question with a cheerful enthusiasm, as if speaking to a
reluctant child, and I frowned, unable to process it. "What?"

She gave me a steady look, perhaps mildly annoyed by how many times she'd have
to repeat herself. "I said," she whispered slowly, "would you like to play a
game?"

I didn't think she meant a video game. My shoulder jerked in what was supposed
to be a shrug and I said: "I don't know."

She smiled. "It's very simple," she assured me. "All you have to do is take off
your clothes, lay down, and let me do anything I want to you. Does that sound
like fun?"

My pussy suggested with a delicious throb that yes, it probably would be fun.
Or maybe fun was the wrong word. It didn't seem like fun, it simply seemed
desirable, overwhelmingly desirable, more desirable than anything else I could
think of.

But this was Alice's house, and I was on a date with Alice. This was Alice's
sister—and former lover. Alice was my girlfriend, my lover, my soulmate. So why
then was my entire being crazed with the impulse to spread my legs for this
woman?

I swallowed, and despite the overwhelming temptation that blanketed my mind,
the word that came out of my mouth was: "No."

But she only smiled, and I realized with sick excitement that that was exactly
what I'd been hoping for. "Oh, come now," she said, brushing a knuckle over my
cheek. "You're going to hurt my feelings if you don't want to play."

I shook my head, blushing feverishly. "I don't."

Again, she didn't believe me. "I think you do," she said, and then she dropped
her hand and took a stop back. "Come on, take off your top."

"What?"

She seemed amused and she smiled at me as if I was a slow child. "You're a bit
deft, aren't you dear? I said, take off your top."

The command was irresistible. Dimly, I was aware that by taking off my top I'd
be showing her my breasts, and for some inexplicable reason this seemed like a
very attractive idea. My halter, scanty as it was, felt stifling all the
sudden, and I really did want to take it off. It felt like I'd burst if I
didn't.

So I did. It was still a flimsy garment, and I was careful not to break it. I
pulled it up over my naked breasts and threaded it off my arms—and then I was
just standing there; boobs exposed and throbbing with excitement.

Victoria smiled her wolfish smile. "Good girl," she said approvingly. "Alice
has you trained well." Then she seemed to notice my tits for the first time.
"And what lovely breasts!" she exclaimed happily. "They look simply
scrumptious, don't they?"

And as she spoke, she took my breasts in her hands and helped herself to a
generous feel, which, I had to admit, wasn't the most unpleasant thing that had
ever happened to me. Her hands were elegant and long fingered, and she touched
me firmly but not quite groping, squeezing my shapes like a woman checking for
ripeness at a fruitstand.

She was looking into my eyes as she touched me, watching my expression, and
then she smiled. "Aww, you look nervous," she said. "What's the matter, honey?
Would it make you more comfortable if I took off my dress?"

Her hands were still cupping my breasts, but they paused as she waited for an
answer. I couldn't bring myself to outright cooperate, but I had a feeling
she'd do what she wanted anyway. "No," I said.

I was right. Her hands slid away from my breasts and she took a step back, and
then she took the hem of her flame-red dress in her hands and lifted it up over
her body, wriggling slightly against the tight fabric.

Underneath she was wearing a scarlet lace thong—and nothing else. The dress
fell to the floor beside her feet that were clad in red spike heels and the
breath rushed out of me as I stared at her body.

She was tall, at least five nine, and her skin was pearl white. She looked like
she was sculpted from the purest marble without a blemish or any imperfection
at all. Her hips were round and wider than her chest, and her legs were
incredibly long and perfectly shaped, and her breasts were large, heavy, and
topped with full pink nipples. Her stomach was flat and toned, and her crimson
panties hugged contours that were sinfully attractive.

She was gorgeous, exquisite, divine. It was the kind of body Greek goddesses
inhabited when they went around banging kings and causing wars, and I was so
amazed at how hot she was that all I could was do tremble and stare.

She smiled and took a deep breath. "There," she said, ruffling her hair with
her fingers casually. "Is that better?"

It wasn't a question and I didn't answer it. If I hadn't been convinced before,
I was convinced now; this woman was going to fuck me. That thought should've
been more distressing than what it was, considering I already had a girlfriend
that I loved with all my heart, but it wasn't. My heart didn't seem to be
working, and right now my pussy appeared to be in control. It was throbbing
like mad and the sight of this woman's naked body had whipped it in to a
frenzy.

The redhead watched for a moment before evidently deciding to end my agony. She
smiled, closed in on me, and wrapped her arms around my back and threaded a
hand into my hair. "Come here," she whispered, and then she forced her red and
lovely lips onto mine.

Her tongue tasted like wine. I didn't try to stop it from entering my mouth,
but I didn't respond—not yet. My eyes had closed and my hands were holding her
shoulders. My face was tilted up and it was the first time I'd kissed anyone
taller than me. It was the first time I'd kissed anyone other than Alice.

My mind had clouded over and I could feel her hand in my hair and her other
hand stroking my back. She was holding my body against hers and I could feel
her breasts pressing onto my chest, just above mine. Her tongue probed into my
mouth and soon I was responding tentatively, leaning into her and wrapping my
arms around her. The inside of her mouth was warm and wet. The kiss was slow
and passionate and slowly my arms came up and wrapped around her neck. She
smelt incredible, like musk and roses, and suddenly she reached down and
grabbed my ass.

The coarse movement took me by surprise and gave me a spike of excitement. I
made a meep sound into her mouth and arched my body into hers. Her hand groped
my miniskirt for a little bit and then she hiked it up a couple inches. My
underwear was a g-string and the next thing I felt was her hand taking a
handful of my bare ass.

Suddenly I broke the kiss, unable to take it anymore. I stood there with my
head pressed against her shoulder, gasping, and I heard her chuckle as she took
a step back.

"Take off your skirt," she said.

I looked up. "What?"

She stared into my eyes with her smile. She didn't repeat herself and she
didn't have to. My ass was tingling with sensitivity, and there was a huge
cramp between my legs, and honestly I couldn't wait to get my skirt off. I
couldn't wait to get it all off and get her mouth on me where I really wanted
it.

I hooked my thumbs into the skirt and pushed it down until it fell about my
ankles, and then I kicked it away carefully, awkwardly in my heels.

"Nice panties," the woman said. She smiled and made a twirling motion with her
finger. "Turn around."

I hesitated. At this point in the evening it might've been silly to feel self-
conscious about letting her see my thong-clad ass, but I hesitated anyway,
standing there mostly naked, my pussy covered by nothing but a small triangle
of purple lace.

The redhead sighed patiently. "Honey, you really need to start listening
better. Turn around."

I turned around, pausing with my back to her so she could see, and then I faced
front again. She was smiling and the smile made my heart glow sickly. She
seemed genuinely impressed, which was incredible—because this wasn't Alice.
This wasn't someone who loved me and was only being nice. This was a predator
who obviously had no regard for my feelings at all. All she wanted was my
body—and my body had made her smile.

"You have a very nice body," she told me, "which is surprising. Alice isn't
usually so discerning. She's more of an inner beauty kind of girl, believe it
or not."

She made another twirling motion with her fingers and I turned around again.

"Yes, very nice. If I had a girlfriend like you perhaps I'd be neglectful of my
sisters too. Take off your panties."

This last command was the easiest to obey of them all, strangely. My pussy was
cramping from how horny I was, and my underwear felt tight, constricting, and
uncomfortable. I didn't even hesitate. I simply pushed them down and let them
drop at my feet, my pussy throbbing painfully from arousal. I looked down so I
could step free from the underwear without tripping in my heels and some of my
hair fell in my face. I tucked it behind my ear and looked up at the other
woman.

"Good girl," she said with a smile. "You're learning. Now take off mine."

I froze, naked but for my shoes. "How?"

She pondered the question for a moment and then she spread her feet slightly.
"Use your mouth," she said finally. "I like a girl on her knees, and I'm sure
it'll be a thrill for you, too. Go ahead."

My head was pounding, and without really thinking about it, I dropped to my
knees at her feet. Her hips were right in front of me, and I was so dazed from
the proximity that I swayed slightly.

"Go on, honey," the redhead urged gently. "I don't mind being stared at, of
course, but I'm sure you'll appreciate the view more after you've taken them
off."

I swallowed and took a shaky breath. Then I took a grip on her hips and leaned
to the front of her thong. It was red lace and silk and I could see the floral
pattern of it. I pressed my face into her groin and tried to get the waistband
between my teeth. When I finally had it, I tugged them down, bowing my head all
the way to her feet, like a maiden worshiping some goddess.

I rose up, trembling, feverish. She was bikini waxed, like Alice, and her pussy
was moist and smooth-looking. Her hand descended on my head and stroked my
hair, much the same as Alice might've of.

"Good girl," she said. "Can you guess what I want you to do now?"

I didn't have to guess. I licked my dry lips, my mouth actually watering, and
my stomach was lurching with a sick sense of complete wrongness. I looked up at
her from where I was kneeling, taking in her unearthly figure, her red smile,
and then I lowered my eyes to her hips, leaned forward, and angled a tentative
kiss into her crotch.

The touch of my lips onto her silky pussy almost made me black out. I had no
idea why I was being so tender to a woman who was taking advantage of me so
horribly, but it felt right, proper—and utterly wrong at the same time. I
applied some pressure into the kiss and then I licked. I licked once, twice,
and at the end of the third lick I opened my eyes a crack and saw her smirking
down at me with her red lips. I felt a rush of resentment for her, so powerful
it provoked a sheen of sweat all over my body, and suddenly I licked harder. I
gripped down on her hips and kept licking, over and over, and I didn't care if
I was a slut or a freak, and I didn't care if she was taking advantage of me
because she tasted so fucking good.

"Calmly, my dear," she said, twirling her fingers in my hair. "I'm not
as…rushable, as Alice. I require steady attention. I like it nice and slow."

I slowed down, hating myself for obeying, but excited at the same time.

"Yes, that's nicer," she purred. "Keep going, just like that."

I kept licking, and by now I could taste her arousal in every lick. My own
pussy was wet with anticipation, and I felt myself getting bolder. I slipped my
tongue between her folds and wriggled it into her vagina. I left it in there as
I stroked the length of her legs with my hands, up and down, and then I took my
tongue out, licked her clit, and inserted it again.

She giggled and stepped back abruptly, leaving me kneeling there with my tongue
out. I put it back in my mouth and looked up at her questioningly, but she
simply smiled and walked past me toward the bed. My head swung around to look
at her ass.

"Come," she said. "Lay down."

I rose, licking my lips and swallowing. I almost stumbled, and I had to steady
myself on the edge of the bed. She was standing by the side of the bed and
holding out a hand for me to take. I glared at her meekly, not taking the hand.

"Do I leave my shoes on?" I asked sullenly.

My tone made her smile wider than ever. "Yes," she said. "You leave your shoes
on. Come, take my hand."

I took her hand, swallowing again, and crawled onto the bed. I lay back on one
of the pillows—with my legs closed—and watched as she climbed in after me. Her
breasts swung heavily from her chest as she crawled over and straddled my hips.
I glared up at her with frightened eyes, my body raging with excitement, and
she smiled and lowered her body across mine and spoke into my lips.

"It's okay," she whispered. "Don't be afraid. I told you I wouldn't harm you,
didn't I?"

She kissed my lips once. I swallowed reflexively, my breath shuddering. I could
feel the warm weight of her breasts laying on top of mine and I was so hot I
felt like I was going to spontaneously combust at any moment. She smiled.

"Try to relax," she whispered. "I was only teasing when I said I wanted to test
your faithfulness to Alice. There's no such test. You're young, you're allowed
to make mistakes. This will be your first one…"

And then she kissed me.

Her tongue snaked into my mouth and I didn't bother resisting. I responded
right away, wrapping my arms around her back and moaning as I pushed my tongue
against hers, surrendering to her awful passion. She cupped my face and kept
kissing me. Her technique was fantastic and the way she stroked my face was
driving me crazy.

Then her hands went lower.

She cupped my breasts and squeezed them firmly, almost painfully. Her
fingernails were short, but still a little longer than most lesbian's—longer
than Alice's—and I felt them prick into the soft flesh of my mounds. I moaned
and squirmed my chest slightly, as if to encourage her, and she moaned back,
swirling her tongue in my mouth. She began stroking my breasts while rubbing
her body against mine, the sound of our mingled breathing filling the room. I
let my own hands roam the silky expanse of her pale back, and saliva was
pooling in my mouth, mine and hers, and I kept swallowing and moaning and
gasping under her kiss.

Finally she broke the kiss to let me catch my breath, watching me with a smile.
Her own breathing was heavy, but nothing like my labored panting. While I lay
there shuddering and swallowing, she crept her hand between out bodies, toward
my crotch. I shivered as her fingers stroked my pussy and looked into her eyes
with a feeble defiance. She smiled and flicked her tongue at my lips. I opened
my mouth to try and catch it. She flicked it again and I flicked back, and then
she mashed her lips against mine and started tonguing and fingering me at the
same time, making me groan and writhe under her.

She kept going and going, and soon I was slick and slathered. I had no strength
to kiss anymore and after a while I turned my head aside and just lay there
panting.

She giggled. "Don't worry, my dear," she whispered. "It'll be all over soon.
Like a bad dream."

Her hand wasn't between my legs anymore and when I turned back to her face I
saw her licking her fingers, popping them into her mouth erotically, one then
the other. She then placed one last kiss on my lips and rose up, straddling my
hips.

She was as beautiful as ever and her flaming red hair was tumbled over her pale
shoulders. Her lips were smudged and her smile was lazy and very sexy. Both her
hands were on my breasts, and as she sat there on top of me, she began to knead
them generously, staring down at me. My arms lay limply at my sides and I was
staring up at her tits. Then I lifted my eyes to her face and she smiled.

"That's okay," she said, still caressing my breasts. "You can look. I'm not
shy. What do you think?"

I lowered my eyes to her breasts and watched them sway slightly with her
movements. "You're beautiful," I whispered.

She smiled. "More beautiful than Alice?"

I didn't answer, but in all honesty, at that moment, it was difficult to recall
what Alice even looked like.

She squeezed my boobs playfully. "It's okay, you can say so," she whispered. "I
won't tell her."

I still didn't say anything, and she smirked.

"No?" she chuckled. "That's okay. I'll take your silence for secret agreement.
But what are you waiting for? I can see you're not as feisty as our little
Alice, but surely you're capable of more than staring. Touch me."

I lifted my hands and placed them on her breasts. They were so big and soft my
fingers seemed to sink into them. I squeezed and licked my lips, my hands
tingling. I kept stroking them, exploring the incredible feel of how hot and
heavy they were, and she watched me with a smile until she grew bored with just
my hands.

She moved my hands away, and without speaking, she bent forward, lowering her
chest over my face, and then she grabbed my head and held me against her,
rubbing her boobs into my face, smothering me under the heavy weight of her
breasts. I opened my mouth and managed to get one of her fat little nipples
into it, and I started sucking on it, sucking hard enough to slurp. She giggled
and moved her other breast over my mouth and I sucked on that one, too. She
offered me the first one again and I flicked the nipple harshly with my tongue,
making the whole breast wobble, and she giggled, arched up, and kissed me with
her mouth.

Her lips descended on my neck, licking at my collar, and then they fell lower
on my chest and breasts. She grabbed handfuls of my boobs and sucked on my
nipples, one and then the other, and licked at them and nipped at them with her
teeth, making me flinch and gasp. My pussy was in a torment of horniness and I
was ready to cry from how badly I needed release.

Finally she shuffled lower on me body until she was kneeling at my feet. My
legs were still closed, and I wouldn't open them willingly, no matter how much
I ached. She smiled and stroked my shins with her hands.

"Open your legs, honey."

The gentle command was enough to break me, and suddenly my legs spread open all
by themselves, exposing my soaked womanhood. My legs were slathered with
arousal to the knee and the next thing I felt was her hands on the inside of my
thighs, caressing me.

"Good girl," she said, then she giggled. "To be honest, I didn't think you'd be
this easy. It's quite a pleasant surprise. I think I'm going to enjoy this very
much. You enjoy it too, okay?

I didn't reply. My head was thrown back and I was staring at the ceiling, my
breaths long and shuddering. I waited, and waited, and finally I felt it: her
tongue on my pussy. I let out a groan that was almost a whimper, and I started
squirming as she started licking, letting out little cries, my eyes squeezed
shut.

She kept licking and licking, slow and relentless. I felt her tongue explore my
folds and poke into my vagina, I felt it curl up inside me. I felt her lick my
clit. My eyes were closed and I was sweating all over. I felt sick from how
amazing it felt, sick to be doing this with someone other than Alice, someone I
didn't love, didn't even know, but I was helpless. Her mouth was amazing, and
there was nothing I could do at all other than lay there, heaving, crying, and
gradually going awash in the hot torment of her tongue.

Soon she was suckling at my clit and soon I was coming. I climaxed with a
strangled cry, and then I lay there, face burning, breath heaving through my
dry mouth, covered in sweat. My hair was damp and I had my hands clasped at my
chest, curled up on my side with my legs and eyes closed, trembling and
gasping.

"Mmm," the woman moaned. "That was delicious. Did you enjoy that, my dear?"

I couldn't answer, and she didn't give me much time to recover, anyway. She
rolled me onto my back and straddled my hips, and then she took my hands and
pinned my wrists either side of my head. I gulped and looked up at her. She was
smiling and she leaned to kiss me once more. I could taste myself on her.

"I wonder what Alice would say if she saw you now?" she whispered, looking into
my eyes with a certain sexy malice. "Hm? Were you thinking about her as I ate
you out, my dear? Or did the poor girl just slip your mind?"

I didn't answer. Her face was only inches away from mine and still so
beautiful, her scent so sweet, and without really thinking, I tugged my hands
free from hers, took her face in my hands, and pulled her into a slow kiss,
tonguing her lavishly and letting her know that I wasn't some vulnerable little
girl she was taking advantage of—the pleasure was mine.

She giggled into my mouth and pushed me away. "I'm glad you have some energy
left," she said, "because I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist on some
attention."

I said nothing; just waited.

She smiled and leaned a little closer. "Tell me something, honey," she
whispered. "If I were to sit on your head and rub my pussy into your face…would
you be terribly demeaned?"

The suggestion excited me far more than it should've, but thankfully she didn't
make me say it out loud. She simply smirked, rose up, and shuffled her naked
body forward, tits jiggling. She knelt over my face with one knee either side
of my head, pinning my arms under her legs. Her pussy was right in front of me
and I started licking without being told.

I heard her hiss with pleasure and I could imagine her arched body as she
tilted her head back in enjoyment.

"Good girl," she whispered, grinding her hips into my mouth. "Keep going. The
sooner you make me come, the sooner you can get back to your precious Alice.
Your…how did you put it? Your soulmate."

By now I was clearheaded enough to bristle at the mention of Alice, but I kept
going. Her pussy was delicious, and the stab of resentment I felt, the reminder
of my relationship, only excited me more. Not sexual excitement, but a more
darker, colder kind of excitement. It was a bad time to discover a latent taste
for sexual humiliation, but I didn't have time to think about it now. Now, all
I could do was eat this awful redhead's pussy—and like it.

I didn't seem to have much of a choice, anyway. My head was completely trapped
between her slick thighs and there was nothing I could do with my arms but hook
them around her legs for leverage as I craned my neck to eat her out better. I
lapped up her essence and explored her folds with my tongue. I took my time, no
resistance, no hesitation. I felt mechanical and dazed, and it wasn't really a
bad feeling.

The scent of her arousal was smothering and the sound of her pleasure was
intoxicating. Unlike me, it was calm and deliberate, soft and rhythmic moaning,
an occasion giggle as I stuffed my tongue into her vagina or nipped at her
clit. She'd been grinding down on me to begin with, but after a while she
stopped that and let me suckle on her clit, both of her hands clenched in my
hair as she forced my face into the fork of her crotch.

"Mmm," she moaned. "Yes. It's coming, honey. Just a little more."

She started grinding with her hips again and I kept going. It was hard to lick
in rhythm with her movements, but I managed, focusing on her clit. Her
breathing got faster and I could tell how close it was getting by her hands in
my hair. The grip became tighter and tighter until it was almost painful, and
finally she came; bucking her hips into my nose and almost smothering me with
her pussy.

"Mmm," she moaned, as her breathing tapered off, and I could hear the smile in
her voice. "That was wonderful."

I started licking at her again, idly, just for fun. Why not? I seemed to be a
complete slut, anyway.

She giggled and enjoyed it for a minute, and then she dismounted from my face,
the mattress tilting as her weight plopped down beside me. She sat with her
legs stretched out before her, and as I sat up I saw that she was covered in
light film of sweat and she was smiling very happily. My face was slathered
with her arousal and I turned away to wipe it with a corner of bedsheet.

She watched me, and when I was done, she crawled forward and placed a kiss on
my cheek. "You did very well," she whispered. "I'm sure Alice would be proud."

I looked at her blandly. Was she trying to hurt me with these taunts about
Alice? I wasn't hurt. I was just numb. The hurt would probably come later.

"Now," she said, clapping her hands together and looking me over hungrily.
"I'll simply have a bit of blood, and you can be on your way. Okay?"

I frowned. Blood now? My body, dignity, and self-respect weren't enough? I
suppose I should've felt afraid, too, but mostly I just felt annoyed. She was
hot and all, but the sex was over; where's my motivation?

"So," she said, smiling wolfishly. "Which artery, hm? Carotid? No, that's
Alice's favorite. Brachial? No, it's not erotic enough. How about femoral? Hm?
On the inside of your thigh, just here. Would that be acceptable?"

She was tracing a line on the inside of my thigh with her fingernail,
presumably where my femoral artery was. I felt a flitter of excitement and it
occurred to me that it would be pretty cool to be bitten there. I was almost
tempted to let her do it, but I didn't. I maintained a stubborn silence, a
frown on my face and tingles between my legs where her finger trailed.

She smiled. "I'm sorry, honey," she said, "but I'm afraid you'll have to say. I
wouldn't feel right without your consent."

Her hand was resting on my leg and I felt an intense desire to say yes. I'd
fallen so far already that a bit of blood hardly seemed to matter, but then I
remembered Alice. I remembered how important feeding had been for her, and I
remembered her speeches about rituals and ceremonies, and I remembered that
Alice had wanted my consent, too, and that I'd given it to her. I'd said yes to
Alice because I loved Alice—I didn't love this woman. And looking at her now,
so naked and pale and disgustingly sexy, I realized that I didn't even like
her.

"No," I said.

I hadn't even considered how she'd react, but it surprised me; her eyes widened
just slightly—in excitement? I wasn't sure. Then she smiled and tilted her
head, pouting her smudged red lips. "No?" she wheedled. "Not even if I ask
nicely?"

I frowned at her. I'd made the biggest mistake of my life here tonight, and
even though my thigh was still tingling under her touch, I felt a powerful urge
to spite her in any way I could. "No," I repeated, firmer this time.

She stared at me with her mouth open slightly, passing her tongue under her
fangs, making sure I saw them. Her eyes were sparkling and she seemed to be
trying not to smile. If she'd pressured me, I probably would've gave in, but
she seemed to be willing to allow me this one small victory.

"Pity," she said. Then she smiled and patted my naked leg. "Well, maybe some
other night, hm? After we've gotten to know each other a little better."

She winked and rose from the bed, giving me an amazing view of her body from
behind, her curvy figure, her luscious ass, the creamy expanse of her back. She
was still incredibly fucking hot, and in that moment, I really hated her for
it. She sighed and stretched, preening her figure even more, and then she
turned and smiled, extending a hand to me.

"Come," she said. "We should get dressed, and then, I suppose, I ought to
restore you to your soulmate, hm?"

I looked at her beautiful hand with dull resentment. Then I placed my own
inside it and let her help me up.

—

Dread began building as soon as I'd gotten out of the bed.

Alice.

What would she say? I didn't kid myself that I could keep this secret. I highly
doubted there were any secrets at all between her and her sisters, and the
redhead obviously wasn't a particularly discreet young woman. Alice was going
to find out, and when she did...

And what? I didn't know. I'd cheated on her, plain and simple. I was dating
her, sleeping with her, and then I'd cheated on her. How did I do it? I didn't
even know. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, especially when the
redhead had showed me her tits, but now, afterwards, thinking about Alice, it
really didn't seem worth it.

I got "dressed" in a state of misery. I didn't know if you could even call
these things clothes, but such as they were, I put them on with cold loathing.
I almost burst into tears as I pulled up my skimpy purple g-string in front of
this woman who'd just face-fucked me like a wild animal, and I made a solemn
promise to myself to never again wear anything but ugly pants and cheap
hoodies. I'm really not the kind of girl that wears this stuff. I'm not.

Victoria had dressed first and took a moment to touch up her makeup while she
waited for me. I caught a glimpse of my own makeup in one of the full-length
mirrors and again almost burst into tears. My mascara was smudged, my lipstick
was gone, and my hair was tangled. If I'd thought I looked like a whore earlier
in the evening, I'd been exaggerating; now I looked like a whore. Happily for
me, however, the redhead took pity and allowed me to wipe down my face and
brush my hair before releasing me back to my girlfriend. Very considerate of
her, and I was so grateful that I almost stabbed her in the boobs with the
hairbrush. The bristles looked sharp and her tits were probably fake, anyway.
Or at least vampire-enhanced.

It had felt like I'd been trapped in the vile den of the redhead's perfumed
bedroom for three weeks, at least, but it was less than an hour. She led me out
by the hand and down the stairs, a cold sweat breaking out over the back of my
neck. I didn't even have the strength to jerk my hand out of Victoria's. She
led me down the stairs, hand in hand as if I were her girlfriend, and I saw
that Alice, Leah, and Jane were all in the living room. There was no sign of
Rosalie and at least that was one thing I didn't have to worry about. It was
going to suck getting righteously dumped by my perfect girlfriend for cheating,
and I didn't need the added insult of being eviscerated by the icy blonde who
happened to be the soulmate of the woman I'd done the cheating with.

Jane was on the sofa, lounging in Leah's arms, and she was playing some
fighting game on Playstation. Alice was sitting on one of the recliners, and
she had the family cat, Fang, on her lap. She was petting it with a caress that
was probably similar to the caress she liked to use on me, and when she looked
up, she knew. She took one look at me, and she knew. She hadn't been smiling
and she didn't smile when she saw me.

My heart broke and I looked away quickly.

Jane and Leah both looked up, and they seemed to know, too. It was probably
written all over my face and body, evident in my posture. My makeup was all
gone, for starters, and I was probably standing in a way that hinted I'd had a
tongue in me recently. I glanced at Alice, and she looked away. The cat look up
from Alice's lap, and it seemed to know, too.

The redhead was still holding my hand, and now she stepped forward and released
me, almost as if flinging me away. "Oh, Alice?" she said with false sweetness.
"I'm done with her for now. You can have her back if you want."

You had to admire what a total fucking whore she was. I stood there burning
with shame, and no one spoke for a second. Leah and Jane shared a glance, Jane
smirking—that fucking imp—and Alice was the first to move. She took the cat
from her lap, rose, and placed the cat down in the exact same place she'd been
sitting, and the cat immediately curled up and closed its eyes.

Everyone looked at her, even me. She was still dressed in her pink tube top and
frilly orange tutu, but I was ashamed to ever have thought she looked anything
less than innocent. Alice was the soul of innocence, and no matter how
revealing or provocative her outfit, she was still the cutest and sweetest-
looking girl in the world. Cuter than the redhead. The redhead was kind of a
cow, really.

Alice gave me a small reassuring smile as she crossed the room, which made me
soar with both hope and shame, and then she took my hand. A shiver of self-
loathing traveled up my arm as I remembered where that hand had been—I hadn't
even washed them—but I couldn't bring myself to tug it away.

Alice gave Victoria a look which stated she was upset, but she didn't speak or
slap the whore sideways. She simply turned, still holding my hand, and led me
outside.

It was dark outside, and very cold. Cold enough to make me shiver, but it
wasn't just the cold that made me tremble. Not only had I cheated on Alice, but
I'd cheated on myself, too. I mean, what kind of woman was I? I'd always had a
favorable impression of myself, more or less, but it was starting to seem
obvious that I really wasn't as good a person as I thought I was. From the
available evidence it seemed like I was the kind of girl who'd go to her
girlfriend's house for dinner and fuck her sister in her bedroom after the
dessert. And considering that, how was I supposed to live with myself? I'd
always been physically affectionate with Alice, of course, but that was
justified by the fact that Alice was my girlfriend and self-proclaimed
soulmate. We didn't have sex; we made love. even at the mall, or in the back
seat.

But the redhead? She was hot, but that's about it. Was that enough to justify
it? Maybe, if I wasn't already with Alice. But there was no justification for
cheating—not after I'd promised so faithfully last night. If I was Alice, I'd
dump me. If I was Alice, I'd shoot me. I'd shoot myself, if I had a gun.

Alice still hadn't spoken, and without speaking, she led me to her silver
Volvo, which was still parked on the curb. She opened the door for me, making
me burn with shame all over again, and I hesitated, wracking my head for
something to say. But nothing came to me. What could I possibly say that
wouldn't only insult her? Anything I said, any syllable I uttered, would be
nothing but an affront to her feelings. The only true apology I could make
would be to run in the kitchen, grab a large knife, and perform hara-kiri in
atonement.

But I was too young to die, and I didn't really have the fortitude to
disembowel myself, so I just dropped my tear-filled eyes to the ground, like
the shameful harlot I was, and climbed meekly into the car. Alice closed the
door after me, and then she went around to the driver's side. She climbed in
and started the engine, and I almost wept with gratitude. She was driving me
home. Even after I cheated on her, she was still driving me home. She was such
an angel. I didn't deserve a ride home. I deserved to be set out by the side of
the road like a bag of trash, kicked to the curb with a heel print in my ass,
shamed, disgraced, humiliated, left to fend for herself in the dark and
dangerous woods without a cellphone. I deserved to be dumped.

With tears in my eyes, I turned to stare out the window. I didn't want her to
see the tears, because it didn't seem right for her to know how bad I felt. She
might feel sorry for me and I didn't deserve that, either.

It was a long drive, and we drove in total silence. I didn't blame her. What
could she possibly have to say to me after what I did? I suppose she could call
me a slut and tell me how much she hates me. She could even scream about how
she never wants to see my cheating ass ever again. At least Alice and her coven
didn't kill people, or I'd really be in trouble. I deserved to die, sure, but
the redhead's tits, amazing as they were, didn't really seem like a worthy
cause.

Compared to all that, maybe silence was best. It was an uncomfortable,
excruciating silence, but with a haze of hope, too. The more I thought about it
and the more I mentally made excuses for myself, the more I began to believe
that Alice might actually forgive me. Victoria herself said I was entitled to
mistakes, and that's all it was. It was a mistake, and I was very sorry, and
I'd spend the rest of my life making it up to Alice—if only she'd let me.

God, I couldn't believe that I'd ever been worried about Alice's faithfulness.
All morning I'd been wondering if Alice would ever cheat on me with one of
those sisters, and now look at me. I should've been more worried about myself.
Alice was an angel compared to me.

But how could I have known that it was even a possibility? One doesn't look at
a redhead like Victoria and prepare against dominant seduction—not outside a
daydream. How could I have assumed she was a threat? I knew she was a lesbian,
and knew she was a woman who liked to enjoy her benefits, but seriously; chicks
that hot seldom make an effort at ugly highschool girls—even one's dressed like
me.

But I'm not really ugly, am I? Mom didn't think so, Alice didn't think so, and
even the redhead had the audacity to tell me I'm hot while sexually debasing me
like some medieval bed-girl. But still, ugly duckling or not, there was no way
I could've known that the redhead would even glance at me, let alone seduce me
like a warped piano teacher. How could I have known that I'd be walking into
that room a virtuous young woman (mostly) and walking out again with a
permanent blemish on my life? I'd been ambushed, coerced, intimidated, seduced.
She didn't put a gun to my head, but she showed me her boobs, which were large
caliber in their own right. Could I really be blamed for succumbing under such
firepower?

I mean, really. Was it truly my fault? And let's not forget that I'm only
sixteen years old. The woman's a pedophile. Or at least a predator. Is it
illegal to seduce teenage girls even when they want it really bad? I wasn't
sure, but it should be, especially when the teenage girl in question already
has a girlfriend like Alice. I wondered if I should call the police—at the very
least it had to be a crime to walk around with a body like that. But there was
nothing the police could do, and not even Superman could save me now. The
corruption of the crimson villainess had been unstoppable, and it was too late
for me. The damage was done. She fucked me, I liked it, and now I had to go the
rest of my life knowing that I'd cheated on a girl like Alice.

I was gnawing at my lip, fidgeting with my hands in my lap. Self-loathing was
radiating over me in waves, and with a tremendous force of will, I chanced a
glance at Alice.

She was facing front and her expression was neutral with a hint of sadness.
Gosh, she was so pretty. How could I even look at anyone else when I had her?
And I was in love with her, too! I could feel the love in my chest right now,
sitting there like a rock, and deep in my soul I knew I'd never want any one
else.

So, er… why did I do it?

Alice must've sensed my eyes on her, because she gave me a glance. She even
smiled reassuringly, and that only made me burn all the more shamefully.

I dropped my eyes to my lap and focused on not crying. I did love her, I
realized, I really did, and as I realized how much I loved her I also realized
that it would be wrong to sit here and cheapen that love by making excuses for
myself. Because there was no excuse; the facts were indisputable. Yes, I'm
underage, and yes, the woman was a slut—but in the end, there's no excuses for
cheating. I mean, let's face it—she seduced me, sure, but she didn't gag me and
handcuff me to the bed. My free-will had been unrestrained the entire time, and
in my freedom I'd chosen to crack-snack on the most luscious piece of
femininity I'd ever seen. Case closed. The defendant is guilty, and the
sentence?

That was up to Alice, but I couldn't help harboring a sick hope that she'd
forgive me. She'd already smiled at me twice, and Alice was so much more mature
than me, so sweet, so angelic. I'd promised her I'd never cheat on her, and I'd
promised I'd never love anyone but her, and so far I kept at least one of the
promises. That was the important one, right? Alice would understand. She'd take
pity on me. I'd never pretended I wasn't weak, and Alice knew that—she even
digged it. She'd forgive me. She had to.

I spent the rest of the ride praying that Alice would forgive me, because
honestly I had no idea what I'd do if she didn't want to see me anymore. We'd
only been dating one month, but we'd crammed so much love and intimacy into
such a short time, that it felt like we were married or something. I couldn't
picture the rest of my life without her, I really couldn't. I needed her right
there, in my arms, as we grew older and bought a house together, as we had
babies together. I could see it all so clearly. I'd be the housewife, of
course, fussing in the kitchen with pots and pans, wreathed in a fragrant steam
as the children ran about playing. Dressed in an apron—and pregnant,
perhaps—glancing anxiously at the clock so I could greet my hard working wife
as she came home with a peck on the cheek and a fawning smile before throwing
her on the kitchen floor and eating her brains out. The children would be gone
by then, of course.

It could be so perfect—although completely imaginary. Two women can't actually
have babies together—not in a traditional fashion, at least—and vampires don't
actually age. Still. It would be nice.

It was ten thirty when we pulled up outside my house, and we still hadn't
exchanged a single word. My stomach felt like it was tied in knots, and as the
car pulled to a gentle stop, I was seized with a sudden fear.

What if this is it? What if this is where she dumps me? What if this was the
last time I was ever going to see her?

I tossed her a wild glance. Why won't she say anything? Could she really be so
cruel as to set me out in front of my house, wordless, without ever planning to
speak to me again? Could the world really be such a harsh and random place?

I had to say something. I couldn't leave her like this, just couldn't. Panic
was rising in my throat, and I felt like throwing myself at her feet and
begging for forgiveness, crying my eyes out and pleading for clemency, but when
I opened my mouth only one word came out:

"Alice—"

My breath hitched, but I managed not to cry. She looked at me and I had no idea
what her expression meant. There was sympathy in it, but something else, and I
prayed she wouldn't dump me, prayed, and prayed, and—

"Listen," she said carefully. "We'll talk later, okay? Leave your window open
for me?"

My heart soared and I nodded frantically. It wasn't a complete pardon, but it
was hope. We were going to talk about it, and somehow everything would be okay,
somehow I'd make her understand that it wasn't my fault, and—

My distress must've affected Alice, because she gave me another reassuring
smile and touched my cheek tenderly. "I'm not mad at you," she whispered.
"Okay? Don't be afraid."

I nodded again, and she went to kiss me.

Panic.

My lips! She was going to kiss my lips, and my lips had—! My lips had been—!

I turned my face away sharply, and Alice came up short. I couldn't bare to look
at her, and she seemed to realize the problem. She sat back in her chair,
silently, and I glanced at her. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just
grabbed the door handle, opened it, and hurried out. I kept glancing over my
shoulder as I went up the garden path in the dark, arms folded against the
cold. The car stayed at the curb until I was all the way inside, and I was
grateful she hadn't driven off instantly as if I was something foul.

And now I was home. In the home of my mother, who had no idea I was even gay,
let alone a raging slut. I guess my betrayal included her, too, in a way. She
didn't raise me like this.

I found her curled up on the couch, watching her Sex in the City DVDs, dressed
in pajamas and nightrobe, pillow in her lap, cookies on the sidetable under the
lamp. I used to make fun of her for watching a TV show with the word 'sex' in
the title, but that was back when I was an unblemished maiden. To my immature
mind it had seemed perfectly logical to suggest that a woman who liked shows
about sex might be prone to the act herself, but I didn't have the right to
make fun of her for it anymore. She could've been sitting there watching gay
porn, and I really wouldn't have any right to judge.

She looked up as I came in, frowned at my outfit reflexively, and then forced
her face into a smile. "Hi, sweetie," she said. "You're early."

I nodded, glancing at the TV to avoid her eyes. "Yeah," I said. "Alice…"

I trailed off with a wave of my hand. I had no idea what I'd been going to say,
but mom nodded, as if that somehow made sense. As if Alice was quite a sensible
reason to be home early.

"Did you have fun?" she inquired politely. There was an edge of suspicion in
her smile that gave me the impression she'd be analyzing my every word and
movement for hidden subtexts, but I didn't have the strength to be worried
about it.

"Yeah," I said. "I guess."

She nodded, watching me. "Were her sister's nice?"

I shrugged helplessly, not looking at her. "They were okay," I said, not
wanting her to worry. Besides, it was kind of true. Leah was always cool, and
Jane had refrained from dissecting me with a scalpel. Rosalie had only hurt my
feelings once, and Victoria had been very affectionate, the whore.

Mom nodded again, and smiled. "Well," she said. "That's nice."

Oh yes, very nice. It's always nice to be date-raped by a luscious redhead.

"Yeah," I muttered, still not looking at her. "Listen, I'm gonna have a shower
before I go to bed. This fucking perfume is getting on my nerves."

Mom didn't usually let me swear, but she could see I was upset about something.
Who knows what she was thinking? She must've noticed my lack of makeup, but
hopefully she was assuming I'd simply wiped it off after being teased about it
by Alice's 'nice' sisters. In any case, she didn't quibble with my urge to take
a shower, which was a relief. I'm not sure how well my excuse would've stood up
to close scrutiny. If she'd cross-examined me, I might've been forced to admit
that the real reason I needed to shower was to wash away the residual filth
that clung to me from my encounter with a vile corruptress.

"Okay, sweetie," she said. "I'll be going to bed soon too, after the episode."

I nodded. "Yeah. G'night, mom."

"Night, sweetie. Hey, what about my good night kiss?"

I'd been trying to sneak away without her realizing, but she caught me. I felt
panic at the idea of kissing my mom with this mouth, but it wasn't as bad as
Alice.

"I'm not four year's old anymore, mom," I said, which was probably obvious by
my clothes. Four year old's seldom jiggle.

Mom smiled and tapped her cheek. "And you're not an adult yet, either."

I sighed, went over, and kissed her on the cheek quickly. I felt crying again.
How did I ever end up in this situation? It was sad, really. Mom had warned me
against the evils of my outfit, and I didn't listen. The outfit wasn't entirely
responsible, of course, but it probably hadn't helped.

I felt sorry for her. My well-meaning, hard-working, single mom. Over the years
she'd done her very best to raise me as a decent, god-fearing, drug-free
virgin, and this was her reward—to be kissed goodnight by lips that only an
hour earlier had been plastered to the pussy of a slutty redhead. Children are
so precious, aren't they?

I left mom with her DVDs and her delusions of my continued innocence, and went
for a shower. I couldn't throw the clothes into the hamper because they were
dry-clean only, so I just tossed them on the floor, making a mental note to
wrap them up tomorrow and throw them in the trash where they belong.

I washed every inch of my body, and washed my hair, frowning and wondering how
long it would take me to get over this. It would depend on Alice, probably.
Surprisingly, the whole thing seemed like quite a traumatic event. It was
something I'd never thought I was capable of, and now that it happened I had no
idea who I was or what I really am. Strange, considering that in other
circumstances, bagging that redhead would've been quite an achievement. And, in
a way, maybe it still was. Just because I'd been cheating, it doesn't make her
any less hot. Most people go their whole lives without a similar
accomplishment, especially women. Straight women don't really get any ass at
all, unless you count male-ass, and male-ass doesn't really seem desirable
enough to be proud of.

But Victoria…

As much as I wanted to hate her, I really couldn't. I'd already decided that
the whole thing was my fault, and the shower had bought on me a melancholy
mood. It wasn't her fault I was so weak, and I'd never believed in blaming the
'other woman' in these situations. Like in movies or TV shows, when a husband
cheats on his wife, it should always be the husband's fault. There's no excuse,
no matter what the other woman said or did. No one put a gun to his head and no
one had put a gun to mine, either—she'd simply sat on it.

I bowed my head, letting the hot water cascade over my body. I thought about
how hot the redhead was and I realized, deep down, that part of me didn't
regret it. I realized it with sadness and actually cried a couple tears. She'd
been so beautiful, and it had been so amazing. I remembered her body, so round
and womanly. I remembered the feel of her heavy breasts as she lowered them
over my face. I remembered sucking on her nipples, licking at her pussy,
kissing her mouth. Why did she do this to me? Was it just to get back at Alice
for something? Or was it just fun for her?

By the time I got out of the shower, I'd moved past anger and loathing and
settled on numb depression. I got dressed in my pajamas and crawled into bed,
leaving the bedside lamp on, casting the room in a dim orange glow.

I could hear wind outside the window, but I wasn't watching the window. I
couldn't muster up any anxiety at all about what Alice was going to say or do,
and I found myself thinking about destiny, and about how Alice had said nothing
could ever change the way we feel, and nothing would ever come between us. Was
that still true? Or had I broken the bond when I cheated on her? How could I
cheat on her if she was my soulmate? How…

I heard a sound and rolled to face the window. Alice had lifted the window a
little more, and now she was climbing in, still dressed in her tube top and
tutu. I saw a flash of pink panties under her skirt and felt a shiver of
excitement. It became clear to me then that I really was kind of pathetic.

The orange glow of the lamp flattered her outfit. She looked small and girlish,
and suddenly I really wished she'd forgive me. I felt like I'd die if she
didn't. I was propped up on an elbow, watching her for some hint on what I
should say or do, and she smiled, standing on a tilted hip cutely.

"Hey," she said.

I swallowed. "Hi."

She gestured at the bed loosely. "May I?"

I nodded, hope blossoming in my chest. Alice kicked off her calf skin boots and
pulled off her top. Her perfect breasts bounced free and I stared shamefully.
She lowered her miniskirt and stepped out of it, and then she climbed into the
bed beside me, dressed in nothing but her socks and panties.

She settled her head on the pillow, only inches from mine, and I watched her
pretty face in the dim light. We were laying on our sides, facing each other,
but we weren't touching.

"First of all," she whispered. "I want you to know that I'm not mad, and I
don't blame you for what happened. Vicky's the villain here. Not you."

I didn't wholly agree with that, but I was glad to hear it. Relief flooded
through my bones, and I was positive she was going to forgive me.

"Do you know what happened?" I asked timidly.

"Yes," she whispered, dipping her eyes. "Vicky told me everything. But…" She
lifted her eyes to mine. "I'm prepared to hear your side of the story. If you
want to talk about it."

That's exactly what I wanted, but suddenly my tongue felt swollen enough to
choke me. I needed her to know how I sorry was, and how much I still loved her,
but I couldn't speak. The very fact that I needed to say these things was
disabling. It should be implied that I loved her. There should never be any
doubt. How could I have fucked up this bad?

"I…" I whispered. And that's it. Nothing else came out.

"To be honest," she whispered, after the silence dragged on for a few seconds.
"I'm a little surprised. It was only last night when you promised you'd never
do anything like this. Did you forget that? Why did you do it, Bella?"

Her words crushed me, and I tried desperately for an excuse. "She…" I said, and
in trying to place all the blame on the 'other woman,' I added: "…let me."

I'd been so frazzled that it had actually seemed to make sense before I said
it. But now that it was out I felt like smothering myself under my own pillow.
What exactly was I trying to imply here? That one could be excused from going
down on such a woman by her simple consent? Did I actually say that?

Alice's lip quirked in a smirk, but her eyes were sad. "That's very lame,
baby."

"I'm so sorry, Alice," I blurted in panic. "I don't know what happened. We were
just talking, and then…"

"She let you."

"No, it's just…" I realized I was talking loud, and lowered my voice. I looked
at her helplessly, shrugged, and grasped for a differed kind of excuse. "I
don't know," I practically moaned. "Do vampires have some kind of mind control
power?"

A tinge of hope crept into the question, but Alice shook her head softly.

"No," she whispered. "We have enhanced pheromones, but nothing that could drive
away your free will."

I blinked back tears. It would've sucked if the redhead had been mind
controlling me, but at least it would've been a perfect excuse. Now I had no
excuses. I snorted, trying not to cry. "So I'm just a slut," I muttered.

"You're not a slut, Bella," Alice whispered, caressing my shoulder under the
covers. "Vicky's the slut."

But I still didn't believe that, and I didn't want to lower myself to trashing
the 'other woman,' when it was me who was the tramp. So instead I fixed my
tear-filled eyes on her and asked bluntly: "Are you mad at me?"

She shook her head and smiled. "No."

She'd already told me she wasn't, but it felt like it would be more true if I
could get her to repeat it a couple times. "Really?"

"I'm not mad at you, Bella," she whispered, and then she took my shoulder and
drew me closer. "Come here. Let me hold you."

I laid my head against her shoulder and let her wrap her arms around me. I felt
her warmth enclose around me, but I still felt tainted and weak, undeserving. I
wished the feeling would go away.

"Listen," she whispered, stroking my hair. "It's not your fault, okay? Vicky is
a powerful woman. She can be difficult to resist." Then a soft chuckle escaped
her. "Although from what I heard, you didn't exactly make it difficult for
her."

It wasn't a jab, but it hurt slightly, anyway. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

She sighed, my head rising and falling against her chest. "Me too," she
whispered. "I guess my plan to establish you as my serious girlfriend kind of
backfired, huh?"

I had no idea what to say to that, so I just repeated: "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," she whispered, still stroking my hair. "I should've known
better than to let you go off alone with Vicky. Vicky's always been a slut. Did
you have fun at least?"

I froze. Why would she ask that? I thought I detected a hint of velvet menace
in the question, similar to the redhead herself, and suddenly my mouth went
dry. She was waiting for a response, still stroking my hair, and I whispered:
"No."

"She says you did."

My eyes were rigid, staring across the room. My head was laying just under her
chin and I couldn't see her face. All I could do was lay there, frozen, as she
stroked my hair. We were silent for a few seconds, and then she sighed.

"It's funny," she whispered. "They all said you'd end up hurting me somehow.
Esme, Rosalie, even Carlisle. So much for promises, hm?"

Two tears dropped onto her chest. "I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice breaking.

She kissed the top of my head. "Me too," she said. "I shouldn't have said that.
Hold my breast."

"What?"

"Hold my breast," she repeated. "Go ahead, it's okay. I like when you touch
me."

I did as she asked, not sure how I felt about it. Was it really appropriate
right now? I cupped my hand around the warm weight of her breast and she moaned
softly.

"That's better," she whispered. "Thank you. It's not as big as Victoria's, is
it?"

Her tone was completely idle, as if she was just making conversation, but I was
positive that her feelings were hurt. I'd hurt her. She'd been trying to blame
her sister, but deep down I knew she blamed me, too.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?" I whispered.

"No," she whispered back, holding my hand at her chest. "I don't blame you,
Bella. I'm just…disappointed. Not with you. I don't blame you at all, truly I
don't. I'm just disappointed in general. With me, with Vicky. The world. Love
itself. It's never perfect, is it? No matter how many times you try. No matter
how many promises you make."

Her words felt true, even if I didn't fully understand, and I placed a kiss on
her bare chest. "I'm sorry," I whispered. It was really the only thing I could
say.

"It's alright," she said, and sighed. "I know what it's like. When you live
your life without any possibilities, it can be intoxicating when one finally
presents itself. First me, now Vicky. Maybe you're not even capable of feeling
real love yet."

"That's not true," I insisted. "I love you."

"Maybe it's my fault," she went on, as if she hadn't heard me. "I shouldn't
have put you in that environment. I knew what Vicky was. I should've kept you
away from her. I should've taken care of you better."

I frowned. "You shouldn't have to take care of me," I said. "I should take care
of myself."

She chuckled softly. "I can't even blame Vicky," she said, and gave me a little
squeeze. "You looked so amazing tonight. Maybe she's the one who couldn't
resist."

I swallowed and raised up, so I could see her face. "Are you really not mad at
me?" I asked, searching her eyes.

She smiled and cupped my cheek. "I love you, Bella," she whispered. "That
doesn't go away because you made one little mistake. Do you still love me?"

My chest almost burst when she said she still loved me, and I leapt at the
chance to tell her I loved her too, loved her so much, so much more than
anything in the world. "Yes," I whispered intensely. "I love you more than
anything."

"Good," she said, with a smile. "That's the important thing."

But it still didn't feel like enough, so I went on. "I'm so sorry, Alice," I
whispered, gazing down at her pretty face. "Are you sure you forgive me? I feel
like such a…"

She giggled. "Of course I forgive you, Bella. You're my soulmate. There's
nothing in the world I wouldn't forgive you for. I'm only worried that maybe
you don't like me anymore."

The suggestion that I didn't like her anymore took me so off guard that I
smiled. "Of course I still like you," I told her earnestly, my heart flooding
with relief. "I love you."

"Yeah?" She bit her lip coyly and smiled bashfully. "You wouldn't prefer
someone like Vicky? Someone taller and sexier?"

Dimly, it occurred to me that she'd lapsed into her role as teen-girl all over
again, but I didn't care. I was so relieved that she still wanted me that I let
myself lapse into a similar role, letting go of all my anxiety and shame,
focusing solely on her. "Of course not," I said, as if the very suggestion was
ridiculous. "You're perfect, Alice. I love you so much. Seriously. You're
everything to me."

I meant every word, and it felt so great to say it. The self-loathing was gone,
if only for the moment, and all that was left was the glow of love I felt for
the girl beneath me.

She smiled with a delighted blush, as if this was the best news she'd gotten
recently. "Do you mean it?"

"Yes," I told her.

She smirked slightly. "Will you prove it?"

"How?" I asked, already knowing.

She looked into my eyes. "Make love to me," she whispered, and I lowered my
lips to hers without answering.

I wanted her more than anything I could ever remember wanting, and I kissed her
very passionately. She moaned into my mouth, and the sound of her moan stabbed
into my heart, making me kiss her harder.

I let my hands roam her naked body, focusing on her breasts for a little bit,
her perfect little breasts, and then I slipped my hand into her panties and
stroked her. She was moist and soon I inserted two fingers, still kissing her.
I pumped the fingers, making her moan, and then I lowered my lips on her neck
and chest, and I sucked on her nipples, forcing my fingers in deeper. She
gasped and writhed gently.

The hunger was growing in my stomach, and suddenly I couldn't go a single
second longer without tasting her. I abandoned her breasts abruptly and
shuffled between her legs, my own excitement spiking as she opened her thighs
for me, revealing the damp patch on her panties.

I pulled them off and tossed them away. I trembled at the sight of her
glistening womanhood, and suddenly I swooped down and licked it luxuriously,
making her moan loudly. I shuffled down the bed further and lay on my stomach,
face first into her pussy, and started licking, licking, licking at her with
all my heart as if she was the most delicious, most loveliest thing in the
world—which she was.

She climaxed with a cry and flopped back. I kept licking at her until I'd
lapped up all her arousal, and then I placed a long kiss on her pussy and
started trailing kisses up her body, her tummy, her breasts, her heaving chest.
I kissed her neck and her chin, and then I kissed her lips, moaning into her
mouth.

"Bella," she panted. "Oh, Bella."

"Was that good?" I asked, ready to repeat the whole thing if she wanted me to.

"Yes," she whispered with a beautiful smile. "That was wonderful. Thank you,
baby."

"You're welcome," I said, my heart glowing as I gazed at her flushed face. "I
love you, Alice."

She smiled at me happily. "I love you too, baby," she said, and then she
grabbed my butt playfully. "Now, what would you like? Hm?"

I was still fully clothed—shorts and tanktop—and I was damp from going down on
her, but I honestly I didn't want anything. The idea of Alice using her mouth
on my body, this body that had cheated on her, bought back a little of the
self-loathing, and I wouldn't have felt right to have Alice make love to me. It
was too soon, and even though I'd had a shower, I felt like there should be
some kind of cooling down period, to let the dirtiness go away properly. It was
bad enough that I'd kissed her.

So I looked her in the eyes and shook my head. "Nothing," I whispered. "I just
want you."

"Bella," she admonished with a smile.

"No, really," I whispered. "I just want to hold you."

She slipped her hand into my shorts and took a handful of my ass. "Let me do
something, baby," she whispered. "I want you to know I still love you."

I hesitated. Then I looked into her eyes and said: "You could bite me."

She froze silently. Her hand stopped caressing my butt and slowly she took it
out of my shorts. She looked away, but I could see she was tempted.

"Alice?" I whispered. "Do you want to bite me?"

She blinked up at me in the dim light. "Yes," she whispered. "But only if you
want me to."

I felt a rush of excitement. Yes; I wanted her too. I wanted her to mark me and
make me hers, but most of all I wanted her to know how much I loved her. This
was the best way. My body and my blood.

"Of course I do, Alice," I whispered. "Of course I want you to."

"Really?"

"Yes. Anything you want. Please. Go ahead."

She flickered her eyes over my collar and away again. "Bella," she whispered.
"You don't have to do this just because…"

She trailed off, and I quickly cut in. My eyes were fixed on hers and my voice
was thick with emotion. I didn't even understand why I was so desperate for it,
but I was.

"I know, but please? I'm so sorry, Alice. I know it won't make it up to you,
but I want you to know… I want you to know much I love you. How much I-I want
you. How much I fucking need you. Okay? Please. Just do it."

She looked at me for a second. Then she smiled.

"Okay," she whispered, and I felt a rush of relief. "Lay down."

I laid myself beside her as she rose up and straddled my hips. She cupped my
face in her hands and placed a long kiss on my lips, a kiss that made my heart
soar.

"Thank you, Bella," she whispered. "I'll make sure the bite's shallow. It won't
be as bad as last time."

"Do whatever you want, Alice," I whispered back. "I don't care."

I lay there breathlessly as she slowly undid my collar and pulled it away. My
neck felt very bare and soft all the sudden, and I couldn't wait to get her
fangs in it.

She laid the collar on the sidetable, and reached under the lampshade. She
smiled at me, and then she switched off the light, leaving us in pitch
darkness. I felt her settle on top of me, and she rubbed her body against mine
gently. Her lips touched my throat and I shivered.

"Tell me once more that you love me," she whispered into my neck.

I wrapped my arms around her naked back. "I love you."

I felt her fangs graze my neck and then I felt them pierce. I winced with the
pain and stretched my neck to allow her better access, my pussy throbbing. She
started sucking on the wound and I smiled in the dark, wrapping my arms around
her tighter.

"I love you, Alice," I whispered with all my heart. "I really really do."

—

***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Skip to next chapter.
Chapter End Notes
     Why did I include this, because this was in the original and as I
     have said, this is not my story and I don't want to change anything.
***** Chapter 10 *****
—

Chapter 10:

—

It was still dark when I woke up the next morning. There was no Alice, and as
soon as my eyes fluttered open, memories of last night came creeping into my
brain like memories of a bad dream. I felt numb from how awful I felt, and for
a long time I just lay there on my back in the dark with the shame and remorse
lodged in my chest like a stake.

I was dizzy and tired and I had a headache from the blood loss, and my mind
didn't seem to be working right. I couldn't think properly. For a while I
entertained a vain hope that maybe last night's dinner date from hell was
simply a vivid nightmare, but the sting in my neck was there to remind me
otherwise. I'd cheated on Alice—in her own house while she was downstairs—and
Alice had forgiven me. She still loved me, she said, and I proved that I loved
her too by letting her bite me. So why did I still feel like shit?

And how could Alice forgive me so easily? I lay there blinking at the ceiling
sleepily, trying to remember our conversation. What had she said? That the
redhead was the bad guy, not me. Well, that's true I guess. I wasn't sure if
one woman could technically rape another woman, but the redhead had managed a
pretty close approximation of it. She hadn't physically forced herself upon me,
but she did kind of close the door and tell me to take my clothes off, which
was equally dastardly, when you think about it. And even worse, she took her
own clothes off. It wasn't exactly a knife to my throat, but it had rendered me
helpless nonetheless. I might as well've been bound and gagged and tied to
railroad tracks.

Or maybe I was just kidding myself. And maybe Alice was kidding herself, too.
We both wanted to blame the redhead, but the one thing that wasn't the
redhead's fault was that I liked it. That was the worst thing, the one thing I
couldn't make excuses for. Whether I was seduced, coerced, or even mildly
raped—I'd liked it. And that was unforgivable.

I sighed, gazing up at the ceiling with lidded eyes. I'd managed to stop
thinking for a few minutes, and for a while I just lay there listening to the
throb in my head and the birds that had begun outside my window. I sighed
again. My head was hurting and my neck was stinging and shame was roiling in my
stomach like acid. And it was a school day, too. My life is ghastly.

It was still dark in the room when I finally struggled out of bed, dressed in
my tanktop and shorts. Shivering from the cold, I looked out of the window for
a little bit, letting the dead grass and gray sky feed my overall sense of
depression. I mean, really; what's the use of living in such a gloomy world?
Two days ago I would've found reason to live in thoughts of Alice, but now the
thought of seeing Alice only filled me with shame and dread. How could I face
her after what happened? True, she'd forgiven me, but I didn't feel forgiven. I
felt like the clouds out there; dark and swollen with sorrow. They looked like
they were going to burst open any moment, and I felt a similar need. I wanted
to cry, sure, but I had to pee as well, so I figured I'd better go do that
first.

Before I went for a shower I picked out an outfit, remembering with humiliation
my last attempt at composing something 'nice.' I'd wanted to impress Alice, a
plan that backfired rather drastically. I did look sexy, though.
Inappropriately sexy, of course, but sexy nonetheless. Sexy enough for the
redhead, at least.

Still, the question remained; what do I wear today? Well, let's see. Last night
I'd made a resolution to never wear anything but pants and hoodies, but I was
under duress when I made that vow, and it was still important to impress
Alice—now more than ever. After all, she'd bought me all these lovely clothes
and I'd hardly worn any of them. Maybe it was time to show her that I
appreciated her generosity, and with that thought, I selected a denim skirt and
a black short sleeved top that could possibly show a little cleavage with the
right bra. Nice, but not too nice.

By the time I got in the shower, I was almost feeling a little better about
myself. Alice had forgiven me, which meant my offence wasn't as great as it
seemed, and in the end, Alice's forgiveness was all that mattered. I'd made a
mistake, she'd understood, and now we were moving on into a bliss of cheatless
happily ever after.

So why did I feel so hollow inside?

I didn't know, but from now on I was going to be the perfect girlfriend. I was
going to be there for Alice whenever she needed it, body or blood, and never
again would I even look at another woman. I'd never look at any guys, either,
but I never did anyway, so there was no need to factor that into the vow.

I took a very long time in the shower, thinking things over with the warm water
cascading down my back. I love showers. Not really a relevant thought, but it
occurred to me once or twice amid my maudlin wallowing. But does Alice truly
forgive me? She said she did, and, like always, she'd said it very earnestly,
but for some reason I couldn't help feeling a little…doubtful.

I tried to think back to last night, and after moving past how cute she'd
looked naked—way cuter than the redhead—I tried to remember our conversation
word for word. All in all, she'd been the absolute personification of
Understanding Girlfriend, but there had been a couple moments where she'd
seemed a little…upset. She had every right to be upset, of course, but why had
it seemed like she was trying to hide it? I'd been swaying slightly under the
water, but I stopped swaying as I began to remember her words more clearly,
more specifically.

"You didn't exactly make it difficult for her, did you?"

"Did you have fun at least?"

"They're not as big as Vicky's, are they?"

"So much for promises."

My heart sank as I remembered more and more. She'd forgiven me, sure, but I had
a feeling that she was more hurt—or angry—than she wanted to let on. She didn't
scream at me and call me a whore, but there was definitely an undercurrent of
bitterness in her forgiveness. Alice had never struck me as a passive-
aggressive kind of girl, but maybe cheating on her was such a shock that she
didn't know how to handle it. Maybe she was only forgiving me out of impulse
because she didn't want to lose me for some reason. I couldn't imagine what was
so special about me that she wanted to keep me around despite something like
this, but I was pretty sure that deep down I'd really hurt her.

I turned off the water in the shower and just stood there, dripping wet, asking
myself that same dreaded question: how could I do something like this to her?
After everything she'd done for me, all the hugs, all the kisses, all the sweet
things she'd said to me; how could I cheat on her?

No, seriously; how could I? The redhead was hot, sure, but was that really
enough to keep me from flinging her away like a piece of sexy garbage? Had it
really stopped me from storming out of her room and running into Alice's
protective arms like I should've? Was I really so shallow that all it took was
a hot body to make me forget my principles, my morals, the person that I love?

Feeling sad and depressed all over again, I got out the shower, wiped down the
steamy mirror with my hand, and looked at myself in the bleary reflection. My
face and lips were pale from bloodloss, and my dark hair hung in wet ropy
locks. I'd never thought of myself as beautiful, but I was beginning to think
so now. My features had good shape and definition, my complexion was mostly
clear, my eyes were large and dark. But I wasn't really a vain kind of girl,
and my wet and naked reflection didn't really make me feel better about
myself—quite the contrary; it made me feel worse.

With a sigh, I tilted my head back and examined the bite marks. Like Alice had
said, the bite was more shallow than last time, two purple pin pricks with a
reddish discoloration around the edges. I touched them with my fingertips
gingerly. I remembered the sensation of Alice's lips sucking at the wound and
smiled slightly. I knew I couldn't make it up to her with just a bit of blood,
but it was a start. It meant something. Maybe I fucked the redhead, but I
didn't let her bite me—I only let Alice bite me. Alice was the only one I
really wanted.

Which was why I had to be a better girlfriend. It was time to grow up, to stop
bumbling around like a witless highschool girl who had happened to stumble into
the arms of a perfect vampire. I needed to be there for her, and love her, and
meet her expectations. I had to be mature. I had to be a partner, not just a
girlfriend. I had to be a lover, a wife, a soulmate. I had to start treating
this relationship with the gravity it deserves. I had to stop taking her for
granted. I had to give her what she really wanted: true love.

I felt better after I decided all this and for a while it actually seemed
possible—but by the time I sat down to breakfast I realized that I had no idea
how I was supposed to be a better girlfriend than what I already was. I could
refrain from cheating on her again, sure, but other than that, I was already
operating at maximum capacity. I was putting out on a daily basis, and I spent
more time with her than with my own mother—which was pretty much the pinnacle
of a teenager girl's possible affections. What else could I do?

I wasn't sure, but I figured a good first step would be to spend even more time
with her—every waking second if possible. And it couldn't hurt to put out even
more, too. Vampires seemed pretty sex-crazed and I'm sure she would appreciate
it.

Mom came into the kitchen soon after, interrupting my reverie. She noticed
something was bothering me right away, but I wouldn't have been comfortable
asking her for advice on using sex to demonstrate commitment, so I just told
her I had a headache. She then noticed that I was also very pale, and even
offered to let me have the day off, despite the fact that I was clearly was not
sick or even close to sick. She was the kind of mother who'd rush her child to
the emergency room if she sneezed more than twice in a row, but this seemed a
little over-over-protective even for her own standards. I was tempted to take
the offer and hide in my room for the rest of my life like a sullied hermit,
but I was still determined to be the best girlfriend ever, and I had to be
there for Alice.

It was Tuesday morning, so unless she'd thought about it some more and decided
to dump me, she'd probably be here in half an hour to pick me up for school. I
told mom that I was fine, and after she left I went outside and waited on the
sidewalk, looking up and down the street for any sign of her silver Volvo.
Usually I waited inside where it was warmer, but I was too anxious to see her.

Finally I noticed her car coming down the street and suddenly a huge wave of
coldness rolled over me. How could I face her after what I did? I still didn't
know, but it was too late to run back inside and hide under the bed. The Volvo
pulled up beside me, and I swallowed a lump in my throat, opened the door, and
got in.

It was Alice driving, obviously, and she smiled to see me, which only made me
feel worse.

"Hi," she said casually, as if she was talking to a someone who hadn't cheated
on her.

I tried to smile back, but my stomach was turning and I couldn't really manage
it. I felt worst than I did last night, and it was a struggle not to throw up.
"Hi," I said.

She leaned to kiss me, and I recoiled uncertainly. It seemed indecent to kiss
her after what I did, but at the same time I really needed to let her know that
I still loved her. I couldn't do it, though, and she hesitated and sat back.
She smiled sadly when I glanced at her, and then she hit the gas and pulled
away from the curb.

We drove in silence, and all I could do was sit there and try not to cry. I was
still wondering how I could've done such a thing, and I still hadn't come to
any conclusions. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I should've stayed home like
mom suggested. Maybe it was wrong to accept Alice's forgiveness as if I
deserved it. Maybe what I really deserved was to be dumped, and if I really
loved her maybe I should just dump myself. Just stay home and refuse to answer
the door, refuse to accept her calls. She obviously deserved better than
someone like me. Maybe she could hook up with Rosalie. They made such a
beautiful couple in that wedding picture. Rosalie would be a better girlfriend
than me, bitch or not.

"So," Alice said after a while, a forced cheerfulness in her voice. "How do you
feel?"

She glanced at me as she drove, and I tried to smile again and again failed. I
had no idea if she was referring to the cheating or the biting, but either way
I was feeling so bad that I couldn't even pretend. "Terrible," I said.

She gave me a sympathetic look and went on in a softer tone. "Hey, I've got an
idea," she said. "Why don't we skip school and spend the day together? After
what happened last night, maybe we could use some time together, just the two
of us. And you must be tired, after the blood loss."

I looked at her with just a flicker of hope in my heart. How could she possibly
be so forgiving? I was the one who was supposed to be making an extra effort,
not her. I truly don't deserve her.

"Okay," I said meekly.

She flashed me a smile that made my heart wilt with shame and turned off the
road that led to school.

While she drove she suggested I call my mom and tell her that I'd be staying
home. It was a good idea. Mom would've panicked if the school called her, and
she'd already offered me the day off, anyway.

We kept driving and I didn't ask where we were going. She drove me to a motel
just outside of town and booked us a room. I'd been utterly silent the whole
time, and I was still silent as she ushered me into the room. I stood by the
cheap-looking bed and watched her as she closed the blinds and turned on the
light. It had started raining outside and I could hear it gusting against the
window.

Alice turned to me with a smile and began undressing, shedding her top, her
jeans, her underwear. Smiling the whole time. I just stood there, dizzy and
unsure. I couldn't understand how she could possibly stomach having sex with me
after what I did, but that's exactly what she wanted to do, and once she was
undressed she began undressing me. Slowly and still smiling. I lifted my arms
as she pulled off my top. I stepped out of my skirt as she lowered it to my
feet. She took off my boots and my socks, and she pulled down my panties, and
then she unhooked my bra and started fondling my breasts, still smiling and
watching my face, as if she was trying to make me smile, too.

Finally she wrapped me into a kiss, our naked bodies pressing together. Alice's
hands were roaming all over my body, leaving fiery trails along my skin, and
slowly her kiss became more insistent. I was still burning with shame, but I
was getting very excited, too. The two sensations meshed and mingled until they
were the same thing, but I didn't know if I could do it. Her tongue was
swirling in my mouth and her hands were touching me all over, but I felt guilty
and unworthy, and the throb in my pussy felt wrong and weak, and finally I tore
my face away, panting.

"Alice," I gasped. "Alice, I—"

"Shh," she whispered, placing a finger over my mouth. "Let's just fuck, okay?"

I was taken aback by how she said it, but I nodded, instantly deciding to do
anything she wanted. She smiled, took my hand, and led me to the bed.

We fucked, and after we fucked, she settled on top of me, straddling my hips
and laying with all her weight against me. We were face to face, her chin
resting on mine, and she was still smiling. I could still hear the rain against
the window and I still felt pretty shitty.

"Did you like that, baby?" she asked.

I nodded, attempting a smile.

She smirked. "Better than Vicky?"

I froze rigidly, and I was so hurt that I almost burst into tears. I knew I
deserved far worse, but how could she say that? Laying on top of me, naked,
straight after sex. Her face was only inches from mine, and despite the smirk
and despite the flippant tone, I got the impression that she said it very
deliberately. She had told me two nights ago that her heart broke very easily,
and this must be how she expressed it. With these passive-aggressive little
jabs.

A lump grew in my throat and I found I had nothing to say. What could I
possibly say? Was I actually supposed to assure her that she was better than
her sister? I opened my mouth and struggled wordless for a moment, but she only
smiled and placed a quick kiss on my lips.

"Sorry," she said, still pretending to be playful. "That was mean, wasn't it?"

The apology stung even more, and I almost felt angry with her. She'd been so
good to me so far. Why was she saying these things? I tried to turn away and
roll away from her, my eyes filling with tears, but she held me in place,
quickly making her voice soft and soothing.

"Baby, baby, don't cry," she whispered. "I was only joking. Really. I didn't
mean to upset you."

I blinked back my tears. Maybe I should've just cried, but I didn't want to
seem weak—as if I'd ever been anything else. "It's okay," I sniffed, wiping my
eyes. "You're allowed to be mad at me."

"I'm not mad, baby," she said, kissing my lips. "Really, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No," she whispered, and then she kissed me longer and slower, kissing me in a
way that you couldn't possibly kiss someone you were mad at. She pulled away
and smiled. "I love you, baby."

I swallowed. The kiss had succeeded in making me feel a little better, but
there was still a hollow feeling in my stomach, and I was still certain that
she was more hurt than she was letting on. "I love you, too."

She smiled and started brushing my hair with her hand. "Good," she whispered,
not looking into my eyes. "And listen. This thing with Vicky…it wasn't your
fault. Okay? Vicky made you do it."

I didn't answer, because there was nothing I could think of to say. I didn't
want Alice to blame me, of course, but I didn't feel comfortable with her
making excuses for me either. Maybe it was wrong to even talk about this. Maybe
there really was nothing to say.

"Besides," she added, cupping my cheek. "You're a very beautiful girl. Maybe
you're entitled to go around fucking whoever you please. Is it really my place
to judge? Or anybody's?"

Again, I thought I detected a veiled resentment in her words that made my
insides coil in anxiety. Suddenly I wished she'd just stop pretending she
wasn't angry. "Of course you're supposed to judge me," I said. "I'm your
girlfriend. Don't you care?"

She smiled and changed her tone. "Of course I care, baby," she said soothingly,
"but I also think you're being a little harsh on yourself. You really didn't do
anything wrong. Vicky's the one who should be sorry."

I frowned, redirecting my anger to the redhead. "Is she?" I asked.

Alice chuckled once. "Well, maybe," she said. "Deep down. She's not so good at
expressing her feelings. Other than lust, of course. It's a shame you had to
meet her under such circumstances, because she can be quite charming when she's
not seducing you."

I frowned deeper, unable to understand how she could be so flippant. "Aren't
you mad at her?"

She sighed and looked away for a second. Then she rolled off me and sat up in
the bed. She let the covers simply fall away and I couldn't help looking at her
perky breasts for a second, feeling a perfunctory flash of excitement. Even at
this point in our relationship, I had no idea if I was allowed to stare or not,
but I did anyway, even though it made me feel slightly uncomfortable with
myself. Was it normal to be so fixated on your girlfriend's body? Maybe—if she
had a body like Alice's.

My own body had been revealed as well, so I sat up, the same as her, self-
conscious about my own exposed breasts. But she wasn't looking at me. She was
looking off at the window where the rain was still rattling and she gave a
little shrug.

"I don't know," she said. "Me and Vicky have had a very…tumultuous relationship
over the years. It sucks that you got involved, but it's not the worse thing
she's ever done to me, and it probably won't be the last thing, either." She
gave me a small smile. "She likes humiliating people, as you've probably
noticed."

I looked down, blushing. I remembered how she taunted me and how she'd made me
kneel. It had definitely been humiliating, but kind of hot, too. I was still in
disbelief that I'd responded to it.

"Vicky's always had a thing for me," Alice added. "And, in a twisted way,
seducing you like that was probably just her own unique way of showing me that
she still loves me. Or wants me. Which is basically the same thing to a woman
like her. She's very possessive. She probably expected me to dump you and go
running back to her."

I said nothing. The idea of Alice dumping me for Victoria filled me with dread.
Was it possible? Would Alice actually want a woman like that?

Alice sighed and brushed a hand over her lap as if to smooth some invisible
material. "In any case," she went on, "vampires are lusty creatures, and it
would hypocritical of me to condemn her for being what she is. I know what it's
like, after all. Sometimes the idea just pops into your head and there's really
no other choice." Then she lifted her eyes and smirked at me wolfishly. "Like
now."

I looked at her in surprise. "Now?"

"Mmhm," she smiled, snaking her arms around my neck. "Come on, let's fuck
again. That's the best thing to do in these situations. Sex always makes
everything better."

I didn't argue. Talking didn't seem to be making me feel better, anyway.

We fucked again, slightly rougher this time, and again we curled up together
under the covers when it was over. I was laying on my back and she was laying
at my side, with one leg draped over my body and one hand cupping my breast.
She snuggled and made a little sound of contentment.

"Feel better now?" she asked.

"A little," I said, and it was almost true. The closeness and the warmth of her
body had a way of driving away my doubts and insecurity—even if only for a
moment.

"Me too," she sighed, snuggling closer. "Let's rest a little bit, okay? Then
we'll do it again."

My heart flickered with excitement. I still didn't feel like I deserved to be
close to her after what I did, but at this point I didn't care anymore. She was
so hot and I loved her so much. Maybe she was right. Maybe everything will be
fine if we just keep having sex as much as we can.

"Okay," I whispered.

She giggled and placed a quick kiss on my lips. "I love you, Bella."

I smiled back, a frail smile, but a smile nonetheless. "I love you, too."

We laid together for a long time, me with my arm around her and her with her
head on my chest. We didn't speak, we just lay there, enjoying each other's
warmth.

I was caressing her bare shoulder idly and listening to the rain on the window.
I wondered how long it was going to keep raining. I've always liked rain and
cold weather. Winter was my favorite season. I preferred wearing more clothes
than less. I've always considered myself a cold kind of girl. Or maybe I only
wished I was a cold kind of girl. I hate emotions. I'd hardly ever felt any
good ones until I met Alice—and now even my feelings for her were tainted.

How could I ever feel comfortable with her again after what I did? I knew that
I'd eventually get over it, of course—and probably quicker than I should,
considering how shallow I am—but right then, with Alice's warm and naked body
nestled against mine, right now it seemed like I'd never get over it.

And how did Alice truly feel about all this? She was trying so hard to forgive
me, but I knew she was hurt. Maybe that was the worst thing. She could fuck me
and forgive me as many times as she wanted, but deep down I knew she felt
betrayed. Why couldn't she be honest with me? Was the truth simply too horrible
to bare?

And was it fair of me to continue this charade, knowing that I'd hurt her? Was
it right for me to simply accept her forgiveness as if I done nothing wrong?
Did I even deserve forgiveness?

Would she dump me if she knew how much I'd liked it? She kept saying that it
wasn't my fault, but it was. I could've stopped that woman if I'd really wanted
to. I could've walked out. But I didn't. I let her fuck me and I fucked her
back. Maybe it really was too horrible to bare. Maybe that's why Alice had to
keep making excuses for me. Because if she accepted the truth she'd have no
choice but to dump me. Because I really didn't deserve a second chance.

I swallowed a lump in my throat. "Alice?"

"Mm?" she murmured contentedly.

"It's okay if you hate me," I whispered. "You don't have to pretend."

She stiffened for a second. Then she raised up on an elbow and looked down into
my face. She was smiling and it was a very gentle smile, without any trace of
resentment—which only made me feel worse.

"I don't hate you, Bella," she told me earnestly.

Tears welled in my eyes until my vision blurred. "You should," I said, almost
sobbing. "I cheated on you. You can make all the excuses you want, but…"

I sniffed and looked away, fighting back the tears. But she just sighed and sat
up, drawing me up in her arms.

"Just go ahead and cry, baby," she whispered into my ear. "It'll get rid of the
hormones."

I did. I gave a wet little hiccup and started sobbing into her shoulder. I
wrapped my arms around her tightly and I could feel her rocking me as if I was
a child.

Slowly my sobs tapered off into a miserable weeping and when it was over I felt
even worse than before. Now I had two things to be ashamed of. Not only was I
weak and despicable enough to cheat on her, but I was also pathetic enough to
cry on her shoulder like a little baby. What the fuck was wrong with me? I
didn't want her pity or her forgiveness. I wanted to go back in time and stop
myself from cheating on her in the first place. I wanted to go back to when we
were just me and Alice; soulmates.

I pulled away and wiped at my eyes with my hands. Alice offered me a corner of
bedsheet but I couldn't take it. I gave one last sob, and then I sprang off the
bed and retreated into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

The first thing I did was blow my nose with toilet paper. Then I looked into
the mirror over the sink. My eyes were red and puffy, my hair was tangled, and
my nose was red. Obviously, I wasn't an attractive crier, but I really didn't
care.

For the next few moments, I did nothing but stare at my reflection, feeling
nothing more complicated than sheer self-loathing. After a while I stirred into
motion. I dabbed the tears away from my face, still sniffing, and then I blew
my nose again and washed my hands, wondering how I was supposed to face her
after this display. I just kept making things worse and worse, didn't I? How
could I have let myself break down so pathetically like this? I deserved to be
slapped and screamed at; I didn't deserve to be rocked in her arms as I cried
away my sluttish heart.

Finally there was a soft knock on the door.

"Are you okay, baby?" Alice called softly.

I didn't answer. I took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door. Alice was
standing there with a sheet wrapped around her, and as soon as I saw her pretty
face I felt like crying all over again. How could I do this to her?

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

She smiled and took my hand. "It's okay," she said. "Come here."

She led me back to the bed and sat me on the edge. I felt self-conscious about
my nakedness, but it didn't matter. Alice dropped the sheet, knelt at my feet,
and opened my legs with her hands.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked, panicking as my pussy was exposed.

Alice smiled up at me. "Just relax, okay?" she whispered. "Let me do this."

And before I could say anything else, she leaned and started licking at me. My
breath started shuddering instantly, and despite the fact that we'd already had
sex twice this morning, I felt excitement shiver through me with each touch of
her tongue. She started very gently at first, just to get me wet, and then she
started licking harder and harder until I was laying back on the bed and
groaning.

It was still raining, and for the rest of the day we didn't do much but have
sex. Alice left at some point to get me some lunch, and we had a couple
showers, but other than that we were pretty much naked and entwined the whole
time. We didn't talk much, and I was beginning to suspect that maybe she was
trying to avoid the issue. She was obviously more upset than she seemed, and
this was probably the only way she knew how to handle it.

But I couldn't complain. If she was using sex as a distraction tactic, it was
certainly working. There were moments that afternoon when I almost felt better.
It was easy to lose yourself in the arms of a woman like Alice, and even though
I didn't deserve her and probably never would, I couldn't help loving her with
all my heart and wishing that every lick, every touch, would make everything
better.

But it didn't. By the time she drove me home I felt worse than I had all day,
and the self-loathing was back before we'd even reached the house. It came
seeping into my body like a dark mist as I remembered with disgust all the
things I'd done to Alice and all the things I'd let Alice do to me. I'd lost
count of how many climaxes we'd enjoyed together, but it wasn't a small number.
Double digits, maybe, and I didn't deserve a single one of them.

We drove in silence and she dropped me off without coming inside. We made out
in the car for a while with the rain rattling on the roof and the heater
humming, and then she smiled and told me that she loved me. I didn't manage to
return the smile but I did manage to tell her I loved her.

By the time mom got home I had already started on dinner. Cooking was a hobby
of mine, and it usually took my mind off things. Usually. Tonight, however, my
mind was occupied with other stuff. It didn't take much concentration to make a
basic pasta dish, and I wasn't distracted enough to boil my head or chop off a
finger, but for some reason I just couldn't stop hating myself. I could feel it
stabbed in my stomach like an icicle and soon I started wondering why I was
even cooking. I certainly wasn't hungry.

Me and mom sat down to eat together, just like a little family. She asked me
what I'd been doing all day and I told her I'd been watching TV. I couldn't
have been expected to tell her the truth; that I'd been shacked up in a cheap
motel room with my estranged girlfriend. Still, I felt bad about lying, which
wasn't really a new sensation. I'd been feeling bad all day, why not feel a
little worse?

"Are you okay, sweetie?" mom eventually asked, noticing that I wasn't really
eating. "You're very quiet."

I'd been staring at my food. I looked up. "Hm?"

Mom looked at me with concern. "Are you feeling any better since this morning?
You're still very pale."

I smiled wearily. "I'm okay," I said, waving it off. "I'm just…"

"Just what?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing."

Her face went even more concerned. "Are you sure?"

I chuckled once, bitterly. "Yeah," I said. "I'm fine."

Mom hesitated for a second and then she put her water glass down. "Bella, I'm
your mother," she said. "I can tell there something bothering you."

I smiled, a little more genuinely this time. It's a shame I'm such a horrible
daughter. A regular teenage girl could get a lot of use out of a mom like mine
who actually wanted to listen and talk about stuff. I waved my fork
dismissively. "I'm alright, mom," I said.

But, like a good mom, she didn't let it go. When she detected sadness in her
daughter she was like a shark that smelled blood. "Is it your friend Alice?"
she inquired, trying not to be nosy. "Did you have a fight?"

A fight? No, we didn't have a fight. That was the problem. How was I supposed
to feel better about this if she didn't punish me somehow?

"No," I said, unsure what to say but wanting to say something. "It's just…"

She leaned forward eagerly. "Just what?"

I sighed at how she was trying to squeeze something out of me, but deep down I
really did feel like talking about it. So I shrugged, and groped for a way to
word it that didn't involve lesbians, vampires, and frequent underage sex.
"Well," I began. "I probably shouldn't say anything, but…"

"But what?"

"Well, it's Alice."

She looked a little wary at that, but nodded for me to continue.

"Well…" I said. It would've been hard to explain that I'd cheated on her,
considering that mom didn't even know I was dating her, so I decided to create
a hypothetical boyfriend. I sighed again and said: "Her boyfriend cheated on
her."

Moms eyebrows rose in surprise and she sat up in her chair. She'd obviously
been expecting something else, and it occurred to me that maybe she'd been
expecting me to confess I was in love with her or something. Unfortunately,
that was the least of my confessions, and if they kept piling up like this, I
might never be able to tell mom anything about my relationship with Alice.

"Oh," mom said.

I took advantage of her stunned state by elaborating. "She's been really
upset," I said, keeping the focus on Alice. "And, you know. I hate to see her
upset."

Mom nodded, frowning anxiously. "Well, it's nice you care about your friend
like that, but, um… how old is that girl?"

I had no idea. Sometimes I didn't think even Alice remembered how old she
really was. "I don't know," I said. "Sixteen, I guess."

Mom cleared her throat awkwardly. "And when you say cheating," she said, "do
you mean sex?"

Oh. I should've thought about that.

Well, it's not so unusual, is it? I'd hate to portray Alice as an early
bloomer, but I wanted to bring across the gravity of the situation. "Well,
yeah," I said. "They're kind of active like that. But they really love each
other, so…"

"So they go around cheating?" Mom interrupted with a frown. "That's how much
they love each other?"

"No," I said quickly. "Alice didn't do anything."

Mom didn't quite agree. "Maybe," she said, "but isn't she a little young for
that kind of relationship?"

"She's more mature than she looks, mom. She's like an adult."

"If you say so," mom said skeptically.

But none of this was really relevant, so I sighed and tried to steer the
conversation back to topic. "I just feel really bad for her," I said, which was
completely true. I felt awful for her, and I felt even worse that it was all my
fault. "She doesn't deserve to be cheated on. She so perfect, you know? How
could anyone do that to her?"

Mom softened at that. "I don't know, sweetie."

"I told her that she should dump him," I said, and tears prickled in my eyes as
I realized I really meant it ."But she… She wants to forgive him."

Mom frowned. "Forgive him?"

"Well, he was really sorry," I said, which was also true. "And he still really
loves her."

Mom snorted.

"And Alice," I went on sadly. "Alice really loves him, too."

Mom was openly angry now. "How could she still love him?"

It felt like mom was angry with me, and I shrugged meekly. "I don't know," I
almost whispered. "He was really sorry, and…"

Mom scoffed in disgust. "Well, I'm glad you knew better than to encourage her
to stay with him, Bella. In fact, you should try harder to talk some sense into
this girl. There's no excuse for cheating."

Tears welled in my eyes and I look down at my plate to hide them. "But what if
he didn't have a choice?" I asked, forcing my voice to be casual. "What if it
really wasn't his fault?"

Mom snorted. "People can make all kinds of excuses for cheating, Bella, but in
the end there's only one reason. And that reason is that they're a lousy
person. That's the only reason there'll ever be."

Two tears dropped into my plate. I hadn't even blinked. "You're probably
right," I said, and suddenly I realized what a stupid idea this was. If I
portray myself as a hypothetical boyfriend, and if I portray the hypothetical
boyfriend as the villain, how was any of this supposed to make me feel better?

Mom sighed and shook her head, as if all young people were silly and there's
nothing you can really do about it. "To be honest," she said, "I'm surprised
that girl even has a boyfriend. She seems to spend most of her time with you."

"Yeah," I said, not looking up, desperately trying to rain back my tears.

"What's his name?" mom asked.

I poked at my food with my fork, hiding my eyes and feigning casualness. "I
don't know."

"You don't know? How can you not know?"

"I don't…" I whispered, my voice breaking. I had no idea what I was saying, and
suddenly I couldn't hold it back any more. I pushed away from the kitchen
table. "I have to go to the bathroom," I said, and hurried away, covering my
eyes with one hand.

When I was out of mom's sight, I ran into the bathroom and closed the door
behind me. I stood there for a second, with my chest heaving, still trying to
hold it all back. But then a sob broke through my restraint and suddenly the
dam broke; all my sadness, all my loathing, all my regret burst through the
cracks. I stuck a hand in my mouth to keep from howling, and suddenly I folded
up and started crying, my body heaving with each sob that shuddered through me.

When the storm had passed, I cleaned myself up at the sink and looked into the
mirror. My eyes were red and my lips were pale and trembling. I took a shaky
breath and turned off the water. I stared at myself in the mirror for a few
moments and after a while my reflection made me start crying again.

—

***** Chapter 11 *****
—

Chapter 11:

—

Tuesday morning dawned cold and gloomy and I hadn't slept very well. Alice had
come to me last night and let me fall asleep in her arms, which was always
nice, but my sleep was fitful and full of dreams. Usually I only dreamt about
Alice; but these dreams weren't only about Alice. The redhead was there, too.
And they weren't really romantic.

In one of the more explicit dreams, Alice left me to go back to Victoria. I
don't remember the dialog too well, but the basic scenario was that Alice
wanted to punish me for cheating by having sex with Victoria right in front of
me. Which she did. The dream was horrific and graphic enough to wake me up in a
feverish sweat, and I was so horny that I couldn't get to sleep again until I'd
masturbated to the same scenario. It was a pathetic thing to do, but it was
already well-established that I was a pathetic person, so I didn't beat myself
up about it too much. I slept much better, afterwards.

In the morning, I was again waiting for Alice on the sidewalk, dressed all in
black; black hoody, black jeans, black boots—and of course my black collar. I'd
always felt most comfortable in black for some reason, even if it was a little
ostentatious. Appropriate subtext, too. Maybe I was in morning for my lost
honor.

It started drizzling while I was waiting, but I just put my hood up and stood
there. The rain was very fine and even if it was pouring I wouldn't have moved.
I'd already showered, but it couldn't hurt to get rinsed off one more time
before I saw Alice. A girl like me needed all the help she could get.

Eventually, Alice pulled up in her silver Volvo and I climbed in, curious at
how she'd greet me. Happily, she gave me a smile and kissed me. Conversation
was still a little stunted as we drove, but things seemed to be a little better
after our marathon at the motel yesterday. By the time we got to school I'd
renewed my vow to be the best girlfriend ever, and even managed to smile for
her a couple times. Demurely, of course. I didn't want to insult her by
pretending I was okay with everything, and it seemed important to let her know
that I was still feeling very bad and still very sorry. Maybe the remorse would
make her forgiveness feel more genuine.

Alice walked me to my locker, hand in hand like we used too, and she kissed me
as she dropped me off at homeroom. She was wearing jeans and I watched her ass
as she walked away. And for about four seconds I actually felt a lot better.
That's how cute it was and how pathetic I am.

Lauren and company arrived soon after, and after everything that had happened
over the weekend, I really didn't have much anxiety left over to worry about
her. Luckily, our truce seemed to be still in effect. She ignored me, other
than a few smirks in my direction followed by a couple comments to her friends.
Then they all glanced and snickered. I blushed embarrassedly and wondered if
Lauren had come up with some new material. I was wearing decent clothes and all
the gay-bashing had to be getting old by now. What meanness had she come up
with that was original enough to make the whole group laugh?

I sat by myself in homeroom and next to Alice in Biology. I kept glancing at
her during the class, feeling that familiar flash of attraction every time. I
watched her jot down notes in her perfect handwriting. I watched her blink into
the microscope lens. I still couldn't get over how huge her eyes were and how
long her eyelashes. She really was utterly perfect.

She caught me looking and smiled. I smiled back and the glow in my heart
reminded me of how much I truly loved her. Then she narrowed her eyes and
licked her lips at me suggestively. The glow became a smolder, and I gave her a
shy smile and a nod. We excused ourselves from class, first me, then her, and
then we went and fucked in her car. She was wearing pink panties and was
delicious, as always.

We didn't make it back to Biology in time, but at this point, the prospect of
poor grades didn't concern me as much as keeping Alice pleased. It wasn't
school that I'd cheated on, and it wasn't school that I desperately wanted to
cling to for all eternity. School wasn't so cute, either.

In any case, my main anxiety that day was Victoria. Technically, she was a
student here too, and it was entirely possible to bump into the bitch. I didn't
kid myself into thinking she was sorry about what happened, and I was worried
that if I had to pass her in the halls and see her disgusting smirk I might
just die from humiliation. It wasn't biologically possible to literally die
from humiliation, of course, but then again, cheating on a girl as perfect as
Alice didn't seem biologically possible, either.

I hadn't seen the vile redhead at all so far, but I knew it was coming. Lunch
period was next and I knew she'd be there, sitting with her sisters at her
usual table. I had no idea how I was going to handle it, but I was pretty sure
that I wouldn't be able to eat. How could I eat with the symbol of my
unfaithfulness sitting across the room? Maybe if the food was a little better I
could get it down, but cafeteria food was almost inedible, anyway.

Classes rolled on and finally the dreaded hour arrived. Me and Alice stood in
line with our trays, quietly getting our lunch and paying for it. Alice paid
for mine and made a lighthearted quip about how I wasn't as cheap as I looked,
which I assumed was a not-so-subtle reference to how cheaply I'd given it up to
her sister the other night. Maybe she didn't intend for it to be hurtful, but
it was. I was still certain she was harboring a lot of hidden resentment, and
all I could do was smile painfully and hope she'd get over it before she drove
me to suicide. I really didn't think I could live knowing that I'd permanently
hurt a girl like Alice.

We made our way to our usual table, and for the first time my eyes flickered to
the Cullen table. My insides were twisted up in knots and what I saw only made
the knots tighter.

The redhead was watching me cross the cafeteria. Openly staring. Her expression
was similar to her expression from dinner the other night; hungry, speculative,
appraising. Like a cat who was wondering if she should simply eat you or maybe
claw you a little first. Her hair was as wild and red as it always was, and her
face was still beautiful, and her lips were still red and sensuous. She was
wearing a red tanktop and it had a tiny satin bow on the neckline between her
large and lovely breasts. She was leaning an elbow on the tabletop with her
chin in her hand and she didn't look ashamed of herself in the least.

What a whore. I couldn't believe she was actually looking at me. I couldn't
believe she was eating at a table, either. Shouldn't she be snorting at a
trough somewhere like the pig she was? Then again, maybe we should be sharing
one. I was no better than her. Worse, even. She was a slut, sure, but she
wasn't the one who'd cheated on Alice. That had been me. Maybe I'm the whore.

I looked away and didn't look back. I sat down with my back to the bitch and
spent the rest of lunch period focused on Alice. I loved her so much, I really
did. How could I do this to her?

By the time we had to go back to class I felt like crying again, but it wasn't
like the emotional storm that had built up inside me yesterday. It felt more
like a dark gathering of rain clouds. The self-loathing had been welling in my
chest all day, from the moment I'd woken up to the moment I laid eyes on the
redhead, and suddenly it was too much. I've never been a crying kind of girl,
but then again, I've never been a cheating kind of girl, either, so I decided I
might as well just do it.

And so I waited until class had started and then I raised my hand to excuse
myself to go to the bathroom. These weren't dramatic tears, these were
utilitarian tears. I didn't need an audience, I just needed to let it out
quietly by myself.

I made my way to one of the low-traffic bathrooms upstairs, and as I shuffled
down the corridor, I encouraged the tears by thinking about what a useless
person I was, and how I didn't deserve a great girl like Alice. I didn't flail
myself with a whip like a medieval penitent, but my thoughts were lashing
enough, and by the time I reached the bathroom I was sniffing to myself quite
miserably.

I pushed open the door, expecting it to be totally empty—but it wasn't empty.
In the far corner, pressed against a sink, there were two girls making out with
each other. One of them was a brunette I didn't recognize and the other one was
Victoria.

I was shocked. I'd never seen two girls kiss before, outside movies or a
mirror, and the first thing that to occurred me was how hot it was. The
brunette was no vampire, but she was cute, and she had a hand up the redhead's
top and the redhead's tongue in her mouth. It was a great place to put one's
hand, as I knew very well, and she seemed to be enjoying the tongue, as well.

That is, until she heard the door swing open. She freaked, to put it bluntly.
Her eyes widened like a frightened rabbit's and she twisted away from the
redhead so fast she almost fell over. Tears of mortification sprang to her eyes
and her face went completely red. She seemed to be verging on hysteria at being
discovered, and I could understand her distress. If statistics were any guide,
she was probably straight, and yet she'd just been caught lezzing out in the
girl's toilets with a big-boobed redhead. You didn't have to be a homophobe to
freak out under such conditions.

She didn't speak, she just wiped her eyes and ran out. I stepped aside to let
her pass and watched the door swing closed. Then I turned to the redhead.

She was correcting her clothes and when she had my attention she heaved a large
sigh. "These small town girls," she said. "They're so skittish, aren't they?"

Suddenly I was afraid. I was alone with Victoria. Alone. With Victoria. The
woman who'd dominated my brains out only two nights ago.

She'd turned to the mirror and was straightening her hair. I stood frozen
rigidly just within the door, watching her reflection with my mouth open. I
didn't know what to do. Was I supposed to yell at her? Accuse her of stuff? Put
her head in the toilet and flush it? I mean, this was the woman who'd caused me
to cheat on my girlfriend. Surely I was supposed to have some ill-feelings on
the subject that required ventilation. Right?

I didn't know. All I felt was cold and complete shock. I'd never expected to
see her again so soon. I felt sick to be in the same room, but I couldn't
leave. I could hardly seem to breathe. She was wearing denim shorts and they
fit very good. I was rooted to the spot, staring, and I could feel the disgust
crawl across my skin like spiders.

Victoria reapplied her lipstick in the mirror, her eyes watching mine, and then
she stood up and smiled. She turned to me, quite pleasantly, and spoke as she
put her lipstick back in her purse.

"Actually, I'm glad I bumped into you," she said. "We left things on a rather
sour note, didn't we? We should probably talk."

I swallowed, not moving. I realized that she was going to apologize for what
happened and the thought made me sick. There was no apology for what she did to
Alice—to her sister. And not just Alice, but me, too. I'm sixteen years old,
and it's called jailbait for a reason. You can't do stuff like that and
apologize.

And what about Rosalie? Rosalie was a bitch, no doubt about it, but I'm pretty
sure she deserved a better soulmate than this. I try not to be judgmental of
people who prefer their relationship with benefits, but this was a woman who
liked to fuck her sister's girlfriend and make out with teenagers in school
bathrooms. Those aren't benefits, those are seriously warped perversions.

No, there was no apology. There was nothing she could say that would take back
what she did. In fact, there was nothing she could say that would make me
believe she even meant it. I knew she'd never be truly sorry. She was an evil
woman, and even if she did apologize, it would only be lies.

But she didn't apologize. She simply smiled with her red lips and said:

"Listen. I've been thinking about the other night, and I want you to know that
what happened between us doesn't have to be a one-time deal. Any friend of
Alice's is a friend of mine. I'd love to fuck you again sometime."

So much blood rushed to my face that I almost swooned. Did she just say what I
think she said?

She smiled at my flabbergasted reaction and touched a finger under my chin to
close my mouth. "Think about it," she said, and then kissed me on the lips. I
didn't move. Didn't react. The foreign softness of her full red lips pressed
against mine was strangely exciting and disgusting at the same time, and when
she finally pulled back, she smirked and gave me a little wink. "I'll see you
later."

And then she was gone, sailing out into the corridor with the door swinging
shut behind her. I stood in the middle of the bathroom, frozen, and after a
while I wiped my mouth absently. I didn't feel like crying anymore, but I
managed to refrain from rubbing one out in the stall in the corner.

—

Needless to say, I was somewhat distracted for the rest of the day. Not by the
possibility of having sex with the redhead again. No way, I'd never do that.
Part of me didn't even believe her, anyway. She was probably just toying with
me, trying to make me squirm. It had worked for a moment, but now that my mind
was clear I was able to focus on a more appropriate reaction; anger.

At least, I tried to be angry. But for some reason this latest outrage upon my
dignity didn't seem to light any fires in me. I was numb with other sorrows,
and all I seemed to feel was shock. What really amazed me was that she actually
had the gall to say something like that. How could she possibly be so
shameless?

I'd love to fuck you again sometime.

I mean, seriously. Who writes the woman's dialog? If she actually thought such
a cheap and trashy line was going to make me tear off my clothes and leap at
her, she was sorely mistaken. I leap at none but Alice.

It was unbelievable, really. The word slut is thrown around pretty casually
these days, but the redhead was surely the first woman I'd seen or heard of
that truly deserved the label. Not only does she have a blonde goddess that she
doesn't seem to appreciate, but she even has a row of anonymous brunettes
lining up for her pleasure—and apparently she thought I was one of them.

Disgusting. I wouldn't touch that bitch with a chainsaw.

Math was my final class that day, and I was nervous and fidgety when I got
there. I sat down early and spent a few minutes wondering about that other girl
I'd seen with Victoria. She was probably a senior. I didn't know her but I felt
sorry for her. I remembered her face as she scurried out the bathroom, the fear
and humiliation. Poor girl. I knew what it's like to be entrapped in the arms
of a fiery haired demoness and I didn't envy her one bit. Her mistake probably
wasn't as huge as mine, but she deserved pity all the same.

Still, they looked really hot together. You couldn't ignore that. I didn't get
a good look at the brunette, but she was a girl, and the fact that she was
kissing another girl seemed to be fascinating enough.

I wondered if she'd been as easy to seduce as I had been, but I seriously
doubted it. The girl was obviously straight, so it was fair to assume she put
up some kind of fight. Although, she obviously didn't muster much resistance.
Unless she'd been pinching the redhead under her top in order to drive her off.
I doubted that, though. It was probably more likely she was working though a
brief bout of same-sex curiosity by helping herself to a hefty grab of breast.
Natural enough. Well, kind of. Beauty has a way of transcending preference, and
they are exquisite tits. She wouldn't be the first straight chick to indulge a
little girl-girl curiosity. Most of them are content with a bit of porn, but
when opportunity has knockers like the redhead, you'd have to be a fool not to
take advantage.

Either way, she probably had better excuses than I did. She probably wasn't
cheating on anyone, either.

And now the redhead had made a second pass at me. She'd love to fuck me again
sometime, would she? Well, well. I'm sorry to disappoint her, of course, but
cheating on Alice wasn't something I was eager to do again. I wasn't eager the
first time—until the whore took off her clothes, at least. Once her breasts
were revealed I was practically frothing at the mouth. And once she told me to
get on my knees, well. I'd torn at her panties with my teeth like a rabid dog,
hadn't I? I mean, let's be honest here. Credit where credit is due. The woman
was incredible.

But not incredible enough to make me do it twice, no, no, not me. From now on,
I was a new woman, dedicated to Alice and Alice alone. Alice was the girl I
loved, and I was never going to cheat on her again, not ever. Besides, it's not
like I had the redhead's phone number or anything.

But jeez, what a whore. I couldn't get over the audacity of the bitch. An
apology would've been distasteful enough, to say the least, but an open
invitation to fuck her again sometime? I mean, really. She was such a whore you
could almost admire her.

And the absolute worst thing? I was tempted. Theoretically, at least. I was
confident that I could never bring myself to cheat on Alice again—even if I
wanted to, which I don't—but theoretically I had to admit that certain parts of
my body were intrigued by the possibility. It was horrible to admit, even to
myself, but I could really picture it—me on my knees and just clawing at her
clothes. I blushed darkly at the thought but I was frowning. I would never do
it, of course, but I could really picture it.

It was sad, really. I'd been learning a lot about myself lately, and I was
starting to realize that I was a bit of a slut. I'd always thought that I was a
normal girl—albeit a gay one—but I'd never imagined that I was different like
this. I had assumed that my physical affections were solely inspired and owned
by my sweet and innocent Alice, the girl who wanted them and deserved them. But
lately it seemed my physical affections weren't so discerning. It was strange.
My heart would always belong to Alice, of course, but the rest of my anatomy
seemed to respond to anything with tits and tight clothes.

I was so distracted by my morbid self-reflections that I didn't notice when
someone came over and sat down beside me.

"Hey, dyke."

Lauren, naturally. Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse. I
suppose I should've expected it. We always sit together in math.

Nevertheless, her warm and familiar greeting was somewhat of a relief after the
turmoil of the last few days, and I replied with the same warmth and
friendliness.

"Fuck you."

Maybe it was my mood, but my voice came out a little dark, a little harsh.
Honestly, I wasn't in the mood for any shit. Lauren, however, seemed to be in a
mood of her own. She smirked and I knew something mean was on it's way.

"So," she said. "Where were you yesterday?"

"Sick," I said, which was kind of true. Sick with grief over hurting my
girlfriend. Sick of being weak and spineless. Sick of watching my self-respect
drip down the drain like something foul as I fucked pretty much anything that
was interested, girlfriend or not. I looked at Lauren defiantly. "Is that a
problem?"

Lauren smirked wider and shrugged. "Just wondering," she said. "Your girlfriend
wasn't here either."

I frowned. "So?"

"Did you ditch?"

"No."

"Yeah right," Lauren snorted. "Jane told me you fucked that redhead."

My face drained. I went pale and my expression simply evaporated. I couldn't
believe my ears. Lauren knew? Jane told her? How could she do that? My voice
came out quiet and frightened. "What?" I whispered.

Lauren grinned, but it wasn't a judgmental grin. It was a gossip grin, as if
none of this was a big deal to her. "Yeah," she chuckled. "She said you came to
their house wearing some satin thing and that you looked like a fucking clown
with all your makeup. I mean, what the fuck's wrong with you? Who wears shit
like that to their girlfriend's house?"

I didn't answer. I could think of nothing to say.

Lauren shook her head, and now a little judgment came into her tone. "You know,
I can't believe you cheated on that little freak," she said, looking at me as
if I was something disgusting. "Is it true?"

I looked down. Maybe I should've denied it, but I couldn't do it for some
reason. I felt like I didn't deserve to deny it.

Lauren snorted, reading my expression. "Shit," she said. "That's pretty fucked
up. I thought Jane was just fucking around."

Her tone was gentler than I would've expected and despite her words, I thought
I detected some sympathy. I looked up, but I didn't reply. Lauren looked me
over disdainfully and shook her head.

"Did she dump you?" she asked.

I shook my head, my stomach knotting. "No," I said. But I was terrified that it
was possible.

Lauren seemed skeptical. "Seriously?" she snorted. "Jeez. She must be pretty
fucking desperate."

"She's not desperate," I said, compelled to defend Alice, "she's just…"

"Just what?"

"I don't know," I muttered. "She loves me."

Lauren laughed at that. "Why?"

I glared at her. "How the fuck would I know?"

"You're the one dating her."

"Well I don't know, alright?" I snapped. "Maybe she likes me because I go down
on her every fucking day and night. I'm better than any boyfriend you've ever
had."

I don't know who was more surprised at my outburst, me or Lauren. She looked at
me with her eyebrows up in amusement and I looked down at the desk, blushing.
Where had that come from? I had plenty of self-resentment built up, sure, but
enough to cause me to gloat bitterly about my sexual output?

Maybe it was the question itself that troubled me so much. The truth was, I had
no idea why Alice loved me. I hadn't proven to be a particularly good
girlfriend so far, and even my physical charms had to have their limits. She'd
fucked me so much since our first night together that it was amazing she wasn't
sick of me.

What scared me was the idea that she only wanted me for my blood. After all,
she'd only bitten me three times so far. Maybe that's why she was so ready to
forgive me for cheating and keep me happy. Maybe she wanted to get a few more
pints out of me before she kicked me to the curb. It made sense, kind of, but
then again, it was difficult to believe that she was faking all this
relationship stuff just for blood.

Lauren glanced around to see if anyone overheard, but the class was still rowdy
and distracted. The math teacher hadn't arrived yet, and people were sitting
around in groups, talking, texting on their phones. Lauren turned back to me
and gave me a slightly queasy look.

"Do you guys seriously do that stuff?" she asked. "Like, sex and stuff?"

I looked at her dryly, still blushing. "What do you think?"

She went even more queasy. "So you've actually eaten her out?"

She seemed to be fascinated by the subject and I remembered my theories
concerning her own orientation. She'd always been fascinated by me for some
reason. I'd always assumed she was simply picking on an easy target, but after
her jealousy with Alice, and that fight on the football field, I was really
beginning to believe she had some kind of crush on me. Not a real crush, maybe,
but certainly a bit of sexual tension. Maybe I should get Alice to give her
Victoria's number. I'm sure the redhead would be happy to help her explore that
side of herself.

Still, I wasn't in the mood to pretend to be meek and self-depreciating. I was
ashamed of myself, sure, but not here, not now. Not in front of Lauren. So I
looked her in the eye, and said: "Yeah. I have."

She obviously wasn't expecting me to be so blunt. It took her off guard, but
she managed to come back with her usual line. "That's disgusting," she said.

I snorted and shook my head. "Keep telling yourself that, Lauren."

She got angry at that, her denial flaring up. "What the fuck's that supposed to
mean?"

I glanced at her, but I didn't want to cause a scene, so I just shook my head.
"Nothing," I muttered. "Just leave me alone, alright?"

Lauren straightened up her textbooks like a ruffled bird. "Jeez, what's your
problem? I was only playing around. I didn't even know Jane was telling the
truth. I thought she was lying."

I didn't look at her. "Whatever."

"Did you seriously cheat on her?"

"Yeah."

"That's fucked up."

"You said that."

"Yeah, well, it's true," she retorted. "How could you do that? I mean, I can
understand why you'd fuck the freak. At least she looks clean. But the redhead?
She looks like a total skank. Weren't you worried you'd catch something?"

I smirked slightly. I knew that vampires were immortal and had some kind of
regeneration power, so I didn't think the redhead, as skanky as she was, could
be diseased. She could probably fuck a donkey and wouldn't even have to shower.
In any case, it was a stupid comment, and I ignored it.

"Listen," I said, changing the topic. "Let me ask you something."

She frowned at me suspiciously. As if worried I might ask her to go down on me
under the table. "What?"

"If your boyfriend cheated on you," I said cautiously, not knowing if our faux-
friendship covered questions like this. "Would you forgive him?"

It didn't seem to bother her. She screwed up her face, as if the idea was too
unlikely and stupid to even consider. "Fuck no," she said. "Of course not."

The blunt denial didn't do much to bolster my belief in Alice's forgiveness. I
felt my heart sink slightly, and I frowned, and added: "What if he still loved
you?"

She snorted. "I don't give a fuck if he loves me now," she said. "I've been
trying to break up with him for weeks."

I was surprised at that, even though I probably shouldn't have been. Lauren had
never really pretended to like her boyfriend. Everyone thought that she was
only dating him because he adored her—for some reason—and because he was
popular and on the football team. He was pretty perfect, as far as boyfriend's
went. If you were into that kind of thing.

And maybe that was Lauren's problem. Maybe there was another reason she didn't
like him, a secret reason. Maybe she was only dating him to try and be
straight. No one would ever guess that a girl like her might be gay or bi—she
was a cheerleader, or god's sake—but no one knew her quite like I did. And
since were having a friendly kind of moment, I decided to see if I could get
her to open up about it a little. I rarely cared about other people's problems,
but lesbianism fascinated me, and it would've been pretty cool if I was right
about her.

So I glanced around furtively, in case the CIA had the classroom bugged, and
then I said: "Why not? I mean, he seems like a nice guy."

She snorted and shrugged, not looking at me. "I don't know," she muttered, as
if she knew exactly why but didn't want to talk about it. "I just don't like
him anymore. I never did, really." Then she looked at me and gave a smile that
was almost friendly. "You know, you're pretty lucky to have a girlfriend like
Alice," she said, almost shyly. "Someone that you actually love. I've never
loved anyone."

It was one of the nicest thing she'd ever said to me and I felt an awkward
flush settle on my face. It was awkward because it reminded me that I still
kind of had a crush on this girl, and after my recent episode with the redhead,
I really didn't want to have feelings for any one other than Alice.

"Me either," I said, and despite the fact that I'd fallen pretty hard for
Lauren in middle school, I added: "Until I met Alice."

It wasn't precisely true, but it made me feel better to say it. It didn't
impress Lauren, though. The mention of Alice darkened her face slightly and she
snorted. "So why'd you cheat on her then?" she asked, with a little of her
usual venom.

I frowned, my own face darkening. "I don't know."

"Maybe you're just a slut," she suggested meanly.

"Maybe I am."

She snorted. "You're not supposed to agree, you dumb bitch."

"Fuck you," I said, and just like that, our mini-friendship was over.

Lauren sneered at me. "Yeah, you probably would fuck me, wouldn't you? After
all, you're just a slut, right? You'd fuck me right now if I let you, wouldn't
you?"

I looked at her dryly. It was a rhetorical question, and I didn't get a chance
to answer it, anyway. Because that's when the teacher came into the room and
got the class started.

But I had to wonder. Would I fuck her, given the chance? I couldn't deny I'd
thought about it—pictured it, even. But that was before Alice. If I didn't have
a girlfriend, then yeah; I'd love to fuck Lauren. Nothing would make me
happier. But was she cheat-worthy? I didn't know. She'd always been a pretty
girl, with her straight blonde hair, sharp features, and icy blue eyes. Her
body was good, too, although nothing truly amazing. I'd seen her in the
showers, and she was nice to look at, sure, but nothing that melted a girl's
mind. Unlike a certain redhead.

But, still. It was an interesting question, and I found that I didn't really
have an answer. I wouldn't fuck her right now in the classroom, of course—I
hadn't fallen that far just yet—but if it was a more private scenario,
something kinky and kind of romantic, then maybe it was possible. I hated to
admit it, but the more I thought about it—the more I pictured it—the more I had
to wonder. How weak was I, exactly? If Lauren threw herself at me in the
showers after PE one day when everyone was gone, for instance, would I really
have the strength to thrust her away while proclaiming my undying loyalty to
Alice? Or would I simply giggle and go down on her? I really didn't know. Maybe
I should just be grateful it would never happen.

I suppose it was proof of how far I'd fallen that I even had to wonder. Did
ordinary women ask themselves these questions? Or was it just us fallen gals?
It was so weird being the kind of girl who'd cheated on the person she loved. I
never thought I was like that. I truly didn't.

But gosh, math was boring. Why do they even bother with math in schools? It's
not like I'm ever gonna need this stuff when I'm older. And it's not like I
don't have more important things to worry about. How am I supposed to
concentrate on calculus when my girlfriend secretly hates my cheating guts?

And what exactly was I supposed to tell her about my encounter with Victoria?
Class would be over soon and I thought I should prepare something to say. I
mean, I had to tell her right? Nothing really happened. We'd just bumped into
each other, that's all. She'd offered me sex, of course, but that wasn't my
fault. I didn't accept and it had only made me a little horny. She'd kissed me
too, I suppose, but that wasn't my fault, either. I was just standing there. I
mean, what else was I supposed to do? They make it seem so easy in movies and
TV, to stand up for yourself, but it's not that easy in real-life. In real-life
it was more complicated. If I'd shoved away the redhead when she went to kiss
me, for instance, then…well…um…

Well, that's not the point. The point is, I didn't kiss her back. That's what
matters.

The bell finally rang, signaling the end of a long miserable day, and I trudged
to my locker with a dark sense of dread hanging over me like a black cloud. It
occurred to me that maybe I shouldn't tell Alice. Not because I'm a coward, but
because maybe it would be best to avoid upsetting her. Nothing really happened,
anyway. Maybe she wouldn't even want to know.

But what if the redhead says something? It was a possibility, especially if
Victoria was only doing this to hurt Alice. If she went and told her, I'd look
like I was trying to hide it, which would only make me look more guilty. And I
couldn't afford that, not now, not so soon. Alice needed to know that she could
trust me. I had to tell her.

Alice met me at my locker, all ready to go with her backpack over her shoulder,
and together we walked to the car and drove home. We still weren't really
talking so much, and I had no idea how I was supposed to approach the subject
of getting kissed by the woman with whom I'd cheated only a few days ago. It
was kind of a touchy subject. Most of all, though, I had to phrase it in a way
that stressed that it wasn't my fault and didn't make me moist at all. That was
the most important thing.

It wasn't a long drive and I still hadn't managed to bring it up. Alice took me
inside, and since mom wouldn't be home for a while, Alice suggested we amuse
ourselves by fucking on my bed. Usually we only made out in the afternoons, but
sex was certainly more fun than homework, and despite the slight ache in my
pants from so many orgasms over the last couple days, I was very eager to
comply. The feeling of dread and nervousness didn't go away, but it was still
fun to stick my tongue in her. I loved the sounds she made when we didn't have
to be quiet.

She left before mom got home, promising with a smile to be back tonight, and
then she was gone. We hadn't had a chance to talk—our mouths were otherwise
occupied—and as I got started on dinner I was hit with a sudden bolt of panic.
I'd figured that I'd tell her tonight, before bed, but what if the redhead said
something first? I hadn't even thought of that. But what if she did? Alice
would think I was trying to hide it—and think I was guilty.

I was so distressed I almost threw up in the sink. Luckily, I didn't—I was
defrosting chicken fillets in there—but for at least ten seconds I was stunned
catatonic by my own stupidity. Not only had I failed to report the incident to
my girlfriend as I should've, but now she was going to hear about it from her
evil step-sister. I kicked one of the cupboards in frustration. How could I
possibly keep fucking things up this badly?

And I had still done nothing wrong! All I did was stand there—both with Alice
and Victoria. I said nothing, did nothing, and yet I was still the bad guy. Is
any of this fair? It didn't seem fair to me. All I wanted to do was be a good
girlfriend for Alice. Why is that so hard all the sudden?

I started crying, but then mom came home and I had to stop. I didn't care.
Tears are stupid, anyway.

That night I didn't even get in bed. I just sat on the edge, waiting for Alice
and praying that Victoria didn't say anything. Alice deserved to hear it from
me, so she could also hear how disaffected and uninterested I was in anything
that insipid bitch had to offer. I wouldn't fuck that whore with a tent pole.
Alice, on the other hand, I'd fuck however she wanted it.

Alice was a little later than usual and when she finally came crawling through
my window I got the impression that the redhead did, in fact, say something.
Her smile was somewhat subdued and she didn't speak. She just took off her
clothes, took off mine, and urged me into bed.

Where we fucked, naturally. It seemed to be the only thing we did lately. I
wish I felt a little worse about that, but I didn't. I wanted her just as much
as she wanted me, and she was still really hot. I'd been getting more and more
comfortable with her ass lately, and I took the liberty of groping it greedily.
She didn't seem to mind. She even giggled. She commented that I'd have to do
her from behind with a strap-on someday, and it thrilled me that we were making
long-term plans. After all, she couldn't be thinking about dumping me if she
wanted to keep me around for sex-toy experiments, could she?

My climax when it came was a little strained—it was my third that day and maybe
the eleventh or twelfth in forty-eight hours—but Alice's orgasm was as strong
as ever. She never seemed to tire of sex, for some reason. It was probably a
vampire thing. My own sex-drive was pretty hardcore—I mean, let's be honest—but
my charming girlfriend seemed to be pure sex-demon. No pun intended.

The sex managed to distract me from my anxieties for a while, but as soon it
was over, I began to feel bad again. Alice curled up beside me in the dark, as
she always did, and I decided suddenly that it was best not to tell her about
what happened. Not tonight, at least. How could I, like this? No, it was best
to wait. I couldn't be sure Victoria had said something, and even if she did, I
couldn't be sure that Alice would believe her. No, there was no point
mentioning it, not now.

"Mmm," Alice moaned, straddling my hips and laying on top of me. She lowered
her mouth to mine and whispered into it. "That was wonderful, as always. Thank
you, baby."

Then she kissed me.

I melted. The satisfaction in her voice drove away my anxiety for a moment, and
I felt a small glow of pride. Alice was easy to please, of course, but I still
tried hard every time. I just hope she realizes how much I loved her.

"You don't have to thank me," I whispered.

She giggled. "It was your pleasure, was it?"

"Definitely."

"Mine, too."

Alice sighed and let herself settle on top of me. I smiled in the dark and
wrapped my arms around her naked back. I loved this position. It was really the
perfect way to cuddle, with Alice simply laying flat against me, covering me,
smothering me in her warmth and nakedness. I could hold her like this forever.
Like, literally.

She had lowered her lips to my ear and now she whispered.

"But you'll have to let me know if it's too much for you, okay? I know I've
been a little demanding these last couple days, but as a vampire, I recover
much quicker from orgasms than you do. I require a little more attention than
most girls."

I smiled. "I don't mind."

"You're not getting sick of me?"

I tightened my arms around her. "No way."

"Good," she whispered, and kissed my cheek. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too."

She giggled and snuggled against me. She sighed and rubbed her cheek against
mine, almost like a cat. I closed my eyes and let myself drift, just loving
her. It was a beautiful moment. But her next words froze me.

"So," she whispered softly. "Vicky told me she kissed you today."

Well. At some point you really have to start wondering if your girlfriend is a
psychopath. I knew that she was hurting inside, and maybe harboring some secret
resentment, but honestly; isn't it just a little creepy to make love to your
girlfriend, kiss her, cuddle her, whisper sweet nothing's in her ear, and then
confront her about alleged infidelity?

A shiver of fear passed through me. Or maybe not fear. Uncertainty. She'd said
it in the tones of idle pillow-talk and she was still rubbing her cheek against
mine tenderly—but that only made it more creepy.

I knew that Alice would never physically hurt me, and I knew that my own
feelings didn't deserve a whole lot of consideration in this situation, but I
really wished she hadn't mentioned it like that. It felt…wrong. It felt like
she was deliberately trying to intimidate me, and I didn't want to think of her
like that. I wanted to think of her as sweet and perfect and not at all the
kind of person who would try to frighten me when I was naked and underneath
her.

"It was nothing," I said quietly.

"No?" she whispered, her breath like fire in my ear. "That's not what she said.
She said your pulse quickened as soon as your lips touched. And that you were
emitting hormones associated with sexual excitement. Vampire's can tell those
things, you know."

I tried to swallow. It didn't work. "She's a liar."

Alice chuckled throatily, softly in the dark, right beside my ear. "Is she?"
she whispered. "I wonder. She says she could've fucked you again right there on
the toilet floor if she wanted. Was she lying about that, too?"

"Yes," I whispered, holding back a sob. The fear was gone by now and all I felt
was utter regret and self-loathing. She was right, she was totally right. God,
how could I do this? How could I have stood there and let that bitch kiss me?

"Good," she whispered, placing a kiss on my ear. "That's what I was hoping."

The kiss comforted me slightly and I quickly added: "I'd never cheat on you,
Alice."

"No," she whispered. "Just that once, hm?"

I started crying. Why was she saying these things? Didn't she know how sorry I
was? Didn't she know how much I hated myself for what I did?

Alice quickly changed her tone. "Oh, Bella, Bella, Bella," she cooed, stroking
my face. "It's okay, shh. Why are you crying?"

I choked back a sob. "Because you hate me."

"No, I don't," she assured me softly, placing a kiss on my lips. "I love you,
Bella."

"Alice, please," I blurted suddenly. "Please, you have to forgive me. It was
the biggest mistake of my life. I never meant to hurt you, I truly didn't.
Please, I—"

"Shh, shh, shh," she whispered. "You'll wake your mother."

"I don't care," I sobbed wretchedly. "Please, Alice. I-I'm so sorry, I… I…"

I was on the verge of breaking down into tears, but I fought it back
desperately. I didn't want to wake up mom but I needed to cry so badly. My
chest heaved with the restraint of holding it inside. Alice seemed to realize
what was about to happen and suddenly she covered my mouth with her hand—just
in time to muffle my first howl of anguish.

She held me and stroked me and whispered soothingly, and eventually I stopped
crying. She wiped the tears off my face with her fingers, kissed me a few
times, and then got out of the bed.

For a second I was terrified she was going to leave me, and I almost called
out. But I could hear her still in the room. It was pitch black and I had no
idea what she was doing, but when she came back to the bed, she pressed a
tissue into my hand.

"Here," she whispered.

I sniffed; my nose was full. "Thanks," I said, and blew it.

We got back into bed and she straddled my hips and covered me again with her
body.

"Bella, listen," she whispered. "I won't lie, okay? I was hurt that you did
that stuff with Vicky. But I truly do forgive you. Okay? I love you. I love you
more than anyone or anything. You're everything to me, you really are. I told
you before, Bella. I'm not going to throw away this relationship because of one
little mistake. I love you. Okay?"

Her words were so soft and perfect that I almost cried again. "I'm sorry," I
whispered, not knowing what else to say but knowing I had to say something.

She kissed my lips. "Don't be," she whispered. "Just promise me you'll never do
it again."

"I promise," I said quickly.

"I'm serious, Bella," she went on. "Vicky might try again to seduce you. And if
she does, you have to promise me that no matter what she says, or what she
does…"

"I promise, Alice," I whispered. "I'm so sorry."

She kissed me. I closed my eyes and sniffled. Finally she broke the kiss and
lowered her lips to my ear.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I feel so awful to put you in this position.
You're just a child, after all. You shouldn't be in such a serious relationship
just yet."

I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. "I'll try harder, Alice," I
whispered. "I want to be a good girlfriend."

"You are, baby. You're the best. Just promise you'll never do it again."

It hurt that she still didn't trust me, but I nodded in the dark. "I promise."

"Thank you," she whispered into my lips. Then she dropped her voice a little
lower. "I just hope you keep it this time. Because if you ever touch another
woman again…I'm going to be very upset."

For the second time I felt a shiver of fear. My eyes were open and blinking
uncertainly in the dark, but I could see nothing. I could feel Alice on top of
me, Alice's warmth and Alice's softness, and I could feel her breath against my
lips, but I could see nothing but blackness.

"I won't," I whispered, and I truly meant it. "I love you."

I heard her smile. "Good," she whispered. Then she kissed me on the lips, long
and hard. "Now," she giggled. "Shall we fuck one more time before you go to
sleep?"

She was already reaching for one of my breasts, but I nodded, anyway. "Okay," I
whispered.

—

Alice's words lingered in my head over the next two days. Daily affairs
continued on like normal—school, home, frequent sex—but I'd find myself
thinking back at odd moments, and wondering; was that a threat?

I wasn't exactly sure. But I thought about it a lot. I'd be sitting in class,
not paying attention, or I'd be sitting on the sofa, not watching TV, and
unerringly my mind would drift and settle back to that conversation in the
dark.

Because if you ever touch another woman again…I'm going to be very upset.

I remembered her exact words. And they still gave me a little chill. Although
not exactly a chill of fear. It had been kind of creepy on the night in
question, but in the bland light of day, in boring classrooms, it didn't seem
so creepy any more. It seemed…exciting.

Okay, I'll be honest. It made me hot. Really hot. It was the way she'd said it,
so softly, so purringly, so…possessive. The words would replay in my head and
I'd find myself smiling goofily, in the middle of dinner, in the shower. It
made me wonder if she wasn't as sweet and innocent as I thought, and I
discovered that I wouldn't really mind if she had a slightly sinister side. She
was a vampire, after all, and vampires are, generally, evil. She was obviously
talented at faking and repressing things. And the one thing she craved about me
more than anything else was my body and blood. What if all her talk of love and
destiny was, well, slightly exaggerated?

It was weird. I'd been questioning Alice's feelings ever since we first hooked
up, but for the first time I began to wonder if maybe she really was playing me
for my red stuff. Despite my insecurities, I'd always assumed that the sex and
blood drinking were a perk of the relationship. But what if the relationship
itself was a perk? What if the physical stuff was really all she needed? All
she wanted?

Alice had told me once that sex was basically an appetizer, like smelling a
dish before eating it. She'd also spoken about addiction, and about Need, and
about how the Need eventually overrides all else until the Need was all you had
left. Was that what was going on here? Was that why she was determined to
forgive me and tell me she loved me and keep me happy? Because she Needed me?
Obviously she was very angry over what happened with Victoria. First cheating,
then kissing. Maybe deep down she hated me and wanted to get rid of me, but she
couldn't, because she was addicted to me, to my blood. Could that be possible?

I truly hoped not. I knew I'd hurt her, and I was still very insecure, but I
was positive that a large part of her forgiveness was genuine. I knew it deep
in my heart. She liked me and she liked being with me. After all, I do truly
love her and I've always been eager to express that love in a physical fashion.
And, as a bonus, I have nice tits. It couldn't be too painful dating me.

Until I cheated on her, of course. After that, maybe it became very painful.

What must it be like, to have sex with someone who cheated on you simply
because you needed to drink her blood occasionally? It must be terrible. But
the important thing was that she still wanted to be with me. She was trying
hard to forgive me and keep loving me, and as long as we loved each other,
everything would be fine. At least, I really hoped so.

It occurred me to once or twice over those couple days that maybe I should be a
little discomforted at the fact that maybe my girlfriend was only interested in
my, well, meat, but honestly I didn't seem to care. I'd known she was a
vampire, and I'd known that vampires aren't angels. Alice had told me herself,
more than once. Vampire's are, basically, little more than slutty blood
addicts. Which probably made healthy relationships a little difficult for them.
Luckily for me, however, I've always been a bit of a doormat, so I didn't
really mind getting fucked and bitten every now and then. I liked it. Maybe
even more than Alice herself.

To be honest, I didn't care what she liked about me, as long as she liked
something. As long as she wanted me and wanted to be with me. That's all that
mattered. Besides, maybe I was just being insecure. Maybe she really does love
me like a regular person would—assuming a regular person would actually love
someone like me. None of them had shown any interest so far.

But I wasn't interested in regular people. I was interested in Alice and Alice
alone. I loved her, and I didn't care if she liked my blood more than my
personality—it was only logical, really. The mind of a superficial sixteen year
old probably wasn't that interesting to a centuries old vampire. Food, on the
other hand, was always fresh. Besides, it's not like my own feelings were a
well of depth and maturity. It was still her ass I loved more than anything.

I only wish she was more honest with me, that's all. I wondered if maybe I
should talk about this stuff with her, but our relationship was in a fragile
state, and I didn't want to mess things up further. I just wish she knew that
she didn't have to fake with me. I loved her more than that. If she was mad at
me for cheating on her, then I wanted her to be mad. I wanted her to scream or
cry or even slap me. I wanted her to do whatever she had to do in order to
forgive me honestly. I didn't want fake forgiveness, even if I had to beg and
cry. And if she couldn't forgive me at all, I wanted her to leave me and find
someone she deserves. Most of all, I wanted her to love me on her terms; not
mine.

And maybe that's why her veiled threat gave me hope. So many times those words
replayed in my head over those couple days. Alice's breathy whisper, the soft
menace, the secret hurt.

Because if you ever touch another woman again…I'm going to be very upset.

It made me blush every time I remembered it. Alice had always been a theatrical
kind of girl, and she'd always enjoyed objectifying me. It had started out cute
and subtextual, like the collar, but after the other night maybe she was
finally ready to move on to a more literal kind of possessiveness. Loyalty
should be mandatory for all couples, of course, but I was glad that she truly
wanted me all to herself. I was glad her forgiveness wasn't so easy to earn.
But most of all, I was glad our relationship was important enough to her that
she felt compelled to threaten me to my face while laying naked on top of me
after sex. It was a little blackwidow-ish, even for her, but sweet, too, in a
creepy kind of way. There was more love in those words than all her I-love-
you's combined.

Alice wanted me, pure and simple. Whatever her reasons and whatever her
intentions, she wanted me. And that made me horny, frankly.

So from now on, I was truly going to be the best girlfriend ever. I'd already
made similar vows, but over those couple days I made them all over again, and
made a few new ones as I thought of them. I was going to love her, and hold
her, and be there for her when she needed me. I was going to give her
everything she wanted, body, blood, heart, soul. All of it. I didn't care. I
was going to be absolutely perfect for her and I was never again going to give
her any reason to be upset with me.

And, needless to say, I would never cheat again. Never, under any
circumstances. Alice seemed sure that Victoria was going to make another pass
at me at some point, but I was prepared this time. When she had caught me in
the bathroom, I was taken aback, caught off guard. I'd never expected to see
her again so soon and I'd never suspected she was still interested. But now I
know. And the next time I see her, I was fully prepared to slap her face off.
Or at least pointedly ignore her.

Still, I was glad I hadn't bumped into her yet. It would be great if I'd be
lucky enough to never see again for the rest of my life, but I guess that
wasn't possible, not as long as we attended the same school. I saw her everyday
at lunch, sitting with her sisters and killing my appetite with her eyes. I had
no idea while she liked staring at me so much. Sure, I brushed my hair every
morning and washed my face, but really; I'm nothing worth staring at.

It was possible she was developing a Darcy-like crush on me, I suppose, but I
thought it was more likely she was simply trying to intimidate me into taking
my clothes off. It wasn't working—not to that extent, at least—but I couldn't
deny the jolt in my heart that I felt on the few occasions I looked up and met
her steady stare. After all, no matter how many vows of loyalty I made, she was
still one sexy bitch. A hateful whore, as well, but still. In my defense,
however, the jolt was always followed by a queasy sickness in my stomach that
assured me I'd rather throw up than lay lips on any area of her glorious
anatomy. Even her tits.

I dreaded our next meeting, but I consoled myself by reminding myself that it
might never happen. There was no guarantee that the redhead was going to make a
second pass, and even if she did, I was prepared this time. Things were
progressing with Alice. We were talking more. The strain was lifting. Things
were finally getting better, and I was fiercely determined not to fuck
everything up again—in fact, there were moments when I was actually looking
forward to the second pass, just so I could tell the redhead exactly what I
thought about her. These moments of righteous indignation were rather brief, of
course, but it was fun to fantasize about all the mean things I could quite
justly call her. Slut, whore, disgusting bitch. Telling her to fuck off and
stay away from me because I loved Alice and Alice alone. I could just imagine
as she pouted and slank away in her heels and miniskirt, unfucked and not going
to get fucked. Yeah. Take that, bitch.

Sometimes I really wish I had the backbone for that kind of confrontation. But
I didn't. Truthfully, I hated drama, and deep down, I really wished that the
second pass would never, well, come to pass. I wished she would just leave me
alone and let me be happy with Alice, but if her stares across the cafeteria
were any guide, I guess it was pretty obvious that she wasn't done with me.
Which was why I had to steel myself. Because as much as I hate to admit it, I
am a very weak person. I had absolutely no intention of cheating on Alice, of
course. But I'd had no intentions of cheating the first time, either.

I still struggled to remember that night. In some ways it was incredible. In
other ways it was horrible. Right or wrong, it had been the most exhilarating
experience of my life. Somehow, someway, Victoria had managed to completely
erase Alice from my head—even if only for a few moments. How could I have let
that happen? It was unbelievable, really. This was a woman who'd humped my face
like an ape—and I'd let her?

And that's what scared me. I mean, what if it happened again? I'd already stood
there once and let her kiss me. I was unprepared, sure, but what if that was
just an excuse? What if despite all my vows and all my promises, what if it was
inevitable? What if she came up to me and kissed me again? And this time didn't
stop? What then?

It seemed like such a simple thing, not cheating, but you realize how
complicated it can be when you have a sexy redhead circling and sniffing at
your skirts like a fox.

Just thinking about it made my insides clench in fear. Would I resist? Would I
topple? I could just picture it, a chance meeting in the corridors between
classes. She'd be dressed in one of her miniskirts, maybe wearing a thong
underneath. I'd probably try to pass by without looking at her, but of course
that would be impossible. I'd have to at least try to scowl at her. I'd put as
much hate in it as possible, but it probably wouldn't affect her too much. Or
at all. She'd probably just smirk with her sexy mouth, knowing that she'd
already had me once, seduced me, dominated me, made me like it. And knowing
that there was nothing I could do to change that. Knowing that I'd been weak
and helpless against her. And knowing, too, that she could probably do it again
if she wanted. Knowing that it would only take a smirk and a bit of skin to
weaken me again, to make me—

But no, no. If I couldn't be strong in my fantasies, how could I expect to be
strong when it happened? I had to remember Alice. Remember that I loved her.
Remember her ass. It was unforgivable to cheat on such a girl with such an ass
and I promised myself solemnly that I never would. Again, I mean.

Thursday morning was fun. Alice picked me up early and we had sex on the couch
quickly. This was after dual orgasms the previous night, and as eager as I was
to perform my duty as best girlfriend ever, it was really starting to take a
toll on my stamina. The girl was wearing me out, literally. But I persevered.
She kept reminding me that I was well within my rights as a mere human to tell
her to back off occasionally, but my pussy wasn't really that sore, and it was
kind of cool to see how far I could push myself.

We drove to school through the rain, made out at my locker a little, and I
wound up late for homeroom. It wasn't the first time and my excuse was getting
a little flimsy. I told the teacher that my ride was late and the teacher
suggested I make other arrangements. Perhaps the bus? It was sound advice, and
as soon as I found a bus driver cuter than my girlfriend who liked to fuck me
every other morning, I'd be sure to do it. Until then, I'd stick with Alice.

I had PE on Thursdays and we were playing dodgeball again. Alice was picked
relatively early for teams, which made you wonder about double standards. I
suppose it was okay to be a lesbian as long as you were cute and knew how to
catch. I, on the hand, was picked close to last, which didn't strike me as
terribly fair. It sucks to be ostracized for both your orientation and
disorientation. Spastic lesbians deserve equal opportunity to be picked early
for teams, too.

In any event, I was last to be picked and the first eliminated. Alice was on
the opposite team and I tried not to take it personally when she aimed at my
head. She was smiling about it, so maybe it was just her usual playfulness. I
didn't want to believe her repressed resentment would lead her to throw rubber
balls at my face like a common bully.

I went and sat down on the benches and pretty soon I was joined by Angela. She
was another girl who was cursed with the coordination of a, well, girl. She
rarely lasted long in dodgeball, but she was straight and popular, so she
always got picked for teams ahead of me. I wasn't jealous, though. If I was
picking teams I'd pick her, too. She was very tall and her shorts were very
short. I wasn't attracted to her, technically, but I could appreciate long legs
when I saw them.

Which I did, as she sat down beside me. A quick glance, no more. It was
actually really sweet of her to sit next to me. There weren't any others
eliminated this early in the game, but still; friendly chick.

"So," she said cheerfully, as if getting hit in the boobs with rubber balls was
the most fun she'd had in ages. "How's things going with you and Alice?"

A painful question. I looked across the gym and stared at Alice. "Great," I
said. Then I glanced at Angela. "Why?"

I knew that there were certain rumors going around, no doubt spread by a pair
of evil blondes, and I wondered if she believed them. I hoped not. Angela
wasn't a great friend and her approval didn't really mean much, but I'd prefer
it if she didn't know I was kind of a whore.

"Just curious," she said, shrugging, but watching me, too. "You guys are pretty
unique, that's all. I'm just wondering if, you know. If everything's okay. I
mean, it sucks that people are so mean to you. You guys are pretty cool, if you
ask me."

There was a lot of awkward sympathy in her voice and I got the impression that
she was tiptoeing around the rumor. She didn't believe it, but like many
teenage girls, she was eager for a scandal.

"I think it's pretty awesome how you love her so much," she went on, breaking
into a casual grin. "I still can't believe you got in a fight with Lauren last
week. My boyfriend would never get in a fight over me."

I smiled and blushed slightly. "It wasn't really a fight."

"You broke her nose," she pointed out.

I shrugged modestly. "Not deliberately."

"Still," she said, "I think it's awesome that you stood up for your girlfriend
like that. You're more manly than most of the guys in school."

I chuckled. It was a nice compliment, but modesty forbade me from accepting it.
It wasn't really true, anyway. "I got my ass kicked by a cheerleader," I told
her. "You call that manly?"

She giggled. "Oh," she said. "I didn't think of it like that."

I shook my head. It was nice to have someone to talk to sometimes. I wondered
if me and Angela would ever be real friends. It would be nice to have a friend
who wasn't mean to me.

"Well, anyway," she said, waving a hand. "You might wanna hit the gym sometime
because Lauren's still talking shit."

My heart sank. I could only imagine the things she's been saying. My only
consolation was the knowledge that no one would really believe it.

"What's she saying?" I asked.

Angela snorted, as if it was all too ridiculous to even talk about. "She said
you cheated on Alice," she said. "With one of her sisters. I mean, how stupid
is that? As if any of those chicks would sleep with you. I mean, no offence."

I had mixed feelings, but none of them were offended. Maybe it was wrong to
feel a touch of pride that one of those chicks did, in fact, sleep with me, but
I couldn't help it. I got fucked by a centerfold; kind of hard to be ashamed of
that. Especially when someone actually mentions it. It was easier to be ashamed
when I was alone and depressed.

I lowered my eyes to the floorboards at my feet and smiled slightly. "None
taken," I said.

Angela looked at the game and then she leaned to me slightly. "You know what I
think?" she said in a rumor-tone of her own. "I think Lauren might have some
secret crush on you. And that she's trying to cover it up by being mean to you
and spreading rumors and stuff."

That was one thing I'd never expected to hear. I'd had similar theories, of
course, but no one ever believes their own theories. Angela's theory, gossip or
not, seemed a million times more credible.

I felt a quick shiver of excitement, and it took me by surprise, how good this
news seemed. I felt like a highschool girl who just found out that her secret
crush might possibly, legitimately, like her back—which is pretty much what I
was. I already had a girlfriend, obviously—one who was better in every aspect
and bodily dimension—but it was always nice to know a crush is returned.

Outwardly, however, I refrained from any and all expression of delight. I just
snorted and kept my eyes focused on the game. Alice was out there and one
glance at her ass was enough to dispel any desire for Lauren. "I doubt it," I
said.

I would've been a little gratified if Angela had argued her theory a little
more, but she just shrugged. "It's more believable than that redhead having sex
with a girl," she said, deflecting the subject back to the rumor. "That chick
is just too hot to be gay. I mean, no offence."

I smirked. I wouldn't have believed the redhead was a lesbian, either—until she
stuck her tongue in my vagina. It's possible I was misinterpreting the
signs—like when she got naked and sat on my face—but my gaydar has been fairly
accurate so far, so I was pretty sure.

But Angela seemed to have her own beliefs on the subject, and who am I to
question them? If she wants to believe her own gender isn't desirable enough to
be the primary object of interest for an attractive woman who could easily have
any guy she wanted if she did actually want a guy, well, that was her own
small-mindedness and lack of solidarity.

So I just glanced at her and shrugged. "None taken," I said.

Angela smirked. "If Lauren wanted to make the rumor believable, she should've
said you cheated with her. I'd believe that one."

I'd believe that one, too. It had a ring of truth to it, but all things
considered, I'd rather do the redhead. Not again, of course. But if I had to do
one of the other, I'd pick the redhead, easily. "Lauren's a bitch," I said
noncommittally.

Angela grinned goodnaturedly. "What about that redhead?" she asked, as if she'd
read my thoughts. "Would you ever do it with her?"

I composed my face into an expression of righteous denial. "No," I spat. "I'd
never cheat on Alice."

Angela only grinned wider. "Never?" she said, narrowing one eye on me to tell
the truth. "Not in a million years?"

It was clear she was only playing, so I let a tiny smile curve my lips. The
lies came surprisingly natural, but then again, I'd already proven I wasn't a
particularly good person. "Of course not," I said. "I'd never do something like
that."

She nudged me in the ribs, still grinning. "Not even with that redhead? I mean,
you gotta admit, she's way hotter than Alice. I'm straight, and even I'd
probably do her."

"But would you cheat on your boyfriend?"

"If I was drunk, maybe."

I frowned at her skeptically. Was it just me, or did she seem a little excited
by the topic? "Seriously?" I said, almost screwing up my face in disgust, the
way she ought to be doing. "Or are you just joking?"

She giggled. "Of course I'm just joking," she said, slapping my shoulder. "I
wouldn't touch a girl. That's disgusting."

I smirked. "Disgusting?"

"Totally," she confirmed, but without her usual awkwardness. She was still
grinning and there was a strange blush on her cheeks. "I mean, ew!"

"I think you'd do it," I joked tentatively, not wanting to frighten her away.
"You'd probably even like it."

"No way," she objected, still grinning. "That's disgusting."

I smirked at her and looked away again. "Thin line between disgust and
attraction."

She grinned. "Well, for me, it's not a line; it's a brick wall. Call me a
homophobe if you want, but I think lesbians are disgusting. Seriously. I'd
throw up for a week if I ever kissed a girl."

She said all this with such cheerful simplemindedness that I couldn't help
giggling. "Classic over-compensation," I told her. "Face it, Ange. You want a
chick."

It was the first time I'd ever called her Ange, but we seemed to be having a
moment, and she let the liberty go by. In fact, she hardly seemed to notice.
She just slapped my shoulder again, her blush even brighter now, and giggled.

"Shut up," she said, "and stop trying to flirt with me. Alice is right over
there, you know. What would she say if she knew you were trying to convert me?"

I looked across the gym where the dodgeball game was still going. The coach
blew the whistle and barked something. The whole hall was filled with the sound
of thudding rubber balls and squeaking sneakers, and for a moment I just stared
at Alice. She seemed to sense my eyes, because she turned and waved. I smiled
and waved back. Then she went back to the game.

"Let me ask you something," I said to Angela. "If your boyfriend cheated on
you…would you forgive him?"

It was an abrupt question, poorly timed, and she frowned slightly. "Of course
not," she said, without even thinking about it. "Why?"

"I don't know," I said. I looked at Alice and back at Angela. "What if he was
really sorry and it wasn't his fault?"

She snorted. "How could it not be his fault?"

I shrugged, not knowing why I was even bothering. I already knew that
everything was all my fault and there was no excuse, no justification, no
validation. I was weak, simple as that. I didn't know what I expected from
Angela, but I went on, anyway.

"I don't know," I said. "I mean, what if it was the redhead or someone like
that? What if she seduced him? Could you really blame him for slipping just
once?"

She laughed. "Yeah, I could," she said. "But anyway, it doesn't matter. He'd
never do anything like that, and besides; he's not exactly the cutest guy in
school. He'd probably have less chance with the redhead than you."

I snorted, my insides turning. My chances with the redhead were probably pretty
good. All I had to do was say yes, really. But that wasn't something I was
proud of, so I just shrugged and muttered: "Probably."

"Would you forgive Alice?"

The question took me by surprise. "Huh?"

"If Alice cheated on you," she said. "Would you forgive her?"

It was something I never really thought about before. I'd worried about it,
sure, but I'd never wondered what I'd do if it actually happened.

I thought about it for a second. One second isn't really long enough for deep
and meaningful reflections, but after giving the question a cursory examination
I realized that yes; I probably would forgive her. It seemed like the logical
thing to do. After all, I already had a habit of masturbating to scenarios
involving kinky group sex with her and her sisters. If anything like that
happened in real-life, I'd probably not only forgive her, but wheedle for
details, too. I could always use fresh fantasy material.

And beyond all that was the fact I loved her more than life itself. There was
probably nothing in the world I wouldn't forgive her for—as long as she still
wanted me. If she slipped because she got horny some night, and if she was
really sorry and still loved me, then yeah; I could probably forgive her—the
same she way was trying to forgive me. I wouldn't be happy about it, of course,
but I doubt I'd have enough self-respect to actually dump her.

So I looked at Angela and shrugged. "Yeah," I said, nodding. "I probably
would."

"Really?" she said, raising her eyebrows. "Just like that?"

I nodded again, more sure. It felt right, as I was thinking about it. "Yeah," I
said, still nodding. "As long as she still loved me. Sure." Then I repeated
Alice's own words she'd said to me: "I wouldn't throw away our relationship
over one little mistake."

Angela seemed surprised and slightly taken aback, as if she wasn't quite sure
what to make of that. "Oh," she said. "Well, that's kind of mature, I guess.
You guys really love each other, huh?"

I looked up at the dodgeball game. Alice had been watching me and she smiled
when our eyes met. Then she turned and adjusted her shorts in a way that drew
my attention to her ass. I smiled and felt a glow in my chest.

"Yeah," I said. "We really do."

—

There was cheer practice after school and once again I found myself sitting on
a bench and watching Alice. Only this time I was sitting beside Leah, who was
far sexier than Angela. She was wearing a black leather skirt and she had her
legs crossed, as she usually did. I glanced at them once or twice in discreet
amazement. They were very hot, but she wasn't the redhead, so it was probably
safe to look at them without getting sexually molested.

But mostly I simply stared out across the soggy football field at where the
cheer squad was working their routine in a light rain. They all had wet hair
and their clothes were sticking to them. Alice seemed to have been accepted as
part of the group by now, but every now and then I noticed Jane say something
mean. You could tell it was something mean because it made Lauren laugh.

It made my heart sink to watch because I knew what they might be saying. Alice
had been trying so hard to get over my mistake and it killed me to think that
her own sister was out there spreading rumors about us. Had she heard about it
yet? She hadn't said anything, but I guess it was unavoidable. It made me hate
them, Lauren and Jane. Why did they have to be so childish? Didn't they
understand that there was an actual relationship involved? That all their
teasing and all their rumors might actually ruin something really important? I
just hoped they weren't too mean on Alice. I couldn't bare it if I was
responsible for that.

I sighed heavily. Me and Leah were sitting in silence under a sheet metal
canopy that covered a portion of the bench-line. I had a textbook on my lap but
I hadn't even opened it. I just stared at Alice. Watching her with her wet hair
and wet training clothes. Her shorts were gray but the rain had darkened them.
I sighed again and Leah glanced at me.

"You're pretty messed up, huh?" she asked, reading my expression. "After what
happened?"

"Yeah," I sighed.

She smiled and nudged me gently. "You shouldn't let it bother you so much," she
said. "Alice isn't the victim here, you are. Trust me."

I looked down moodily. "I still cheated on her."

She chuckled. "Yeah," she said. "I guess you did."

I glanced at her and wondered how she could be so casual about this. But then
again, they were a pretty weird bunch of sisters. Jane didn't even have the
class to be casual; she was actively hateful. And what about Victoria herself?
She was Alice's sister, too, but that hadn't stopped her from fucking me once
and extending an offer for twice.

It seemed a little severe for sibling bickering. Then again, they weren't real
sisters, were they? Just roommates, basically. Why doesn't Alice move out? She
seemed to have plenty of money. Or did that money belong to the coven? Either
way, there was really no need for her to stay in such a dysfunctional
environment. She could even stay with me and mom if she wanted. Maybe I should
try and talk about this with her. I just wish I understood whatever weird bond
held them all together.

I sighed and glanced at Leah. It was nice how she asked me if I was okay. She
really was the cool sister. I wonder if she cares about Alice? Did it hurt her
that Alice was hurt? Did she hate me for what I did? She didn't seem to. But
maybe she was holding it in, like Alice. Maybe she was just a nice kind of
person.

She did seem to be one of the more decent sisters. How close was she to Alice,
exactly? Close enough to confide? Was Leah the person that Alice went to with
her problems? Did she cry on Leah's shoulder? Did Leah know something about
Alice that I didn't? Did she know how Alice was truly feeling?

The curiosity grew in my stomach until I decided to ask. Leah was definitely
the nicest Cullen I'd met, other than the parents. I had nothing to lose and I
believed that she really cared about Alice.

"Hey," I said, a little awkwardly. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

I hesitated. Suddenly it seemed a lot harder. But I swallowed my shame and just
blurted it out. "Is Alice okay?" I asked meekly. "After what happened?"

I didn't want to mention the event specifically, but she knew what I was
talking about. She glanced at me, her face beautiful and copper colored, her
eyes dark with dark makeup. A small smirk about her lips. "The truth?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

She sighed and looked across the field. "I think she's pretty upset."

My heart sank. I knew it. I remembered all the cold rage I'd detected in my
girlfriend's words over the last few days, the hidden hurt, the bitterness.
Leah thought she was upset and I was pretty sure that Leah was being gentle.
She was more than upset. She was devastated.

I looked at Leah. "Really?"

Leah nodded. "Yeah," she said, not looking at me. "She keeps it all inside and
pretends to be all sweet and forgiving, but I've known her for a long time, and
deep down I think she's very…frustrated. She wanted you all to herself. She
really likes you, you know. More than you realize, maybe."

I bowed my head and blinked at the grass. I could feel tears creeping up behind
my eyes, but I wouldn't let them fall. What hurt most was the suggestion that
Alice liked me more than I realized. I'd always been so doubtful of her
feelings. Grateful, yes. But I'd never understood them. I just accepted them.

Leah looked at me and nudged me gently, as if to cheer me up. "But listen," she
said. "Try not to feel too bad, alright? Alice blames Vicky most of all, but
there's complicated feelings between those two. Very complicated."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

She gave a little shrug of her shoulder. "Well, you have to remember, they've
known each other for a very long time. And vampires…well, vampires have bad
habits. Drinking blood is just one of them."

She paused and I looked at her. She seemed to be forming the words in her mind,
as if careful not to reveal too much, and yet anxious to set my mind at ease.

"Vicky and Alice have been through a lot together," she said finally. "They've
been friends, sisters, lovers. They've married each other, cheated on each
other, hated each other and fell in love with each other all over again.
Victoria pretends that she's only interested in Alice's body, but her true
feelings are far deeper than that. Far deeper. She just has trouble expressing
them. Or maybe it's Alice who has trouble accepting them. I don't know. They've
never been able to make it work…but I guess they can't help trying."

I couldn't even begin to understand the complications of such a relationship. I
felt cold just hearing about it. Why do they live together if they broke up? It
doesn't make sense.

I frowned. "And Alice?" I asked. "Does she…?"

Leah smiled and chuckled once. "Alice has a large heart," she said. "We all own
a piece of it, but there's a special corner reserved for Vicky and Rose. She
loves them, as much as she's able. Particularly Victoria. She's always adored
Victoria."

I looked out across the field at Alice. "I didn't know," I whispered.

Practice was breaking up by now. They were packing away their things and
chatting. Jane and Lauren were standing together. Alice was a little distance
apart.

"You want my advice?" Leah asked.

I looked at her. "Okay."

She smiled. "Make it up to her," she said. "Alice may be a centuries old
vampire, but she's still just a chick. Buy her some flowers or something, or
take her shopping. Let her know that she's special to you, you know?"

I nodded, my chest swelling with hope. How come I'd never thought of that? For
almost a week I'd been vowing daily to be the best girlfriend ever, and it had
never occurred to me to simply take her out shopping? God, I'm useless.

"I will," I said, wanting to hug her. The woman really was awesome.

She smiled and stood up, smoothing her skirt. I glanced at her legs and looked
away quickly, ashamed of myself. But damn; hot legs.

"And stay away from Vicky," she warned me with a smile. "She'll eat you alive
if you're not careful."

By now Alice had made her way over to the shelter where me and Leah had been
sitting, saving us from walking out in the rain. Jane and Lauren were with her,
already grinning meanly. Alice skipped right up to me, smiling brightly, and
kissed me elaborately without touching my body with her wet clothes. Rain was
rattling on the tin roof of the shelter and I didn't really have the energy to
feel self-conscious about being kissed in front of Lauren.

"Hey, baby," she grinned. "Mind if I shower at your place? I'm soaked!"

I nodded eagerly, knowing she'd probably require my assistance in doing her
back—and other areas. "Sure," I said.

Usually the sight of me kissing and flirting with Alice would fill Lauren with
disgust and jealousy. But this time she only smirked, almost as if it didn't
bother her. Almost.

"Hey, dyke," she said, standing with Jane and Leah. "Ready for round two? Your
girlfriend's still a stupid freak."

She was trying to provoke me, but despite the cold anger that had been brooding
in my chest, I wasn't going to let her. So I just frowned at her, hating her
for spreading rumors about me and my girlfriend, and said: "Fuck you, Lauren."

I assumed that would've been the end of it, but apparently it was the opening
she required. She grinned. "What, like you fucked your girlfriend's sister?"

I went cold. How could she say that in front of Alice?

Lauren giggled and made a show of being regretful. "Whoops," she said, "I'm
sorry. I shouldn't have said anything in front of her. Oh well. It's not like
she didn't know you're a total slut, right?"

I was speechless. The anger was swallowed up by a wave of humiliation and all I
could do was stand there and wish she'd go away without saying anything else.

Alice stepped forward quietly. "Bella is not a slut," she told Lauren.

Lauren didn't seem to believe her. Neither did Jane. Lauren seemed to be
willing to let it go, but Jane snorted, very loudly and very scornfully. Alice
looked at her coldly. There was no expression on her face and yet it gave me a
bad feeling. But it didn't seem to faze Jane. She simply grinned and shrugged
innocently.

"Hey, don't look at me," she said. "I'm not the one who cheated on you."

Alice slapped her. It sounded so stinging that even I flinched. No one spoke.
Rain kept rattling on the tin roof. Lauren was smirking with a certain
brightness in her eyes, as if excited by the violence. Jane was smiling. As if
the slap felt nice. It hadn't seemed to affect her at all, other than a splotch
of pink that was blossoming on her pale cheek. Alice was still staring at her
and then she slapped her again. It was clumsier than the last one but it still
sounded painful. Again, Jane didn't react. Only smiled. Alice slapped her one
more time and then she spun to Lauren.

"And you," she said lowly, almost hissing. "If you ever say anything mean to my
girlfriend again I'll snap your fucking neck. Do you understand?"

Her threatening tone of voice turned me on, but I refrained from breaking into
a juvenile grin or swooning like a damsel in distress. I knew I didn't deserve
to have my girlfriend stand up for me after what I did, but that didn't stop it
from feeling great—and terrible at the same time.

Lauren, on the other hand, didn't seem impressed. It had sounded like a very
serious threat, very cold and very venomous, but Lauren appeared to have balls
the size of grapefruits, because she only smirked, looked directly into Alice's
face, and said: "Fuck you, freak."

Alice reached for Lauren's throat. For a brief dizzy moment I was horrified
that Alice was actually going to snap Lauren's neck, right here at school, but
suddenly Leah stepped in and seized Alice's wrist. Lauren looked a little
startled and stepped back, frowning. Leah put Alice's hand down and pushed her
at me gently.

"Bella," she said. "Get her out of here."

I nodded quickly, and took Alice around the waist, pulling her away gently. She
came willingly, but she stared at Lauren for a long moment, and Lauren stared
back. Jane was still smiling and the left side of her face was very red.

—

We were silent all the way to her car until I said:

"Can I have the keys?"

We'd stopped in the locker room to get her things and I'd managed to grab up my
backpack. Alice looked at me for a second and then she handed me the keys. We
got in the car, both wet from the rain by now, and I drove her back to my
place.

She didn't speak for the entire ride, just stared out the window. I didn't know
if she was trying to avoid looking at me, but that's what it seemed like, and I
felt miserable. It was bad enough to have made a mistake like I did, but to be
teased about it, to be reminded of it, was pure torment. How long was this
thing going to take to heal? I had to do something. I had to make it better
somehow.

I blinked back tears. I couldn't believe she'd actually stood up for me. I
truly did not deserve that. Did she regret it now? Or did she truly believe I
wasn't what they said I was?

I glanced at her as I drove. There was no sound in the car at all but the rain
on the roof. Usually she played her iPod, but I guess she wasn't in the mood
for music. I didn't blame her. Her quietness was so estranged that I could
almost feel her hurt and bewilderment. I wondered what she was thinking about.
Me, probably. Probably regretting she ever hooked up with me. Probably
wondering why she even bothers staying with me. The silence in the car was so
smothering, so blanketing, that I could almost hear her thoughts as if they
were my own: How could she do this to me? I loved her so much. How could she do
this to me? How could she…

By the time we got to my place she still hadn't spoken and my heart was
dangerously close to breaking. I took her inside and into the bathroom. We
still had almost an hour before mom got home and we didn't waste it. I peeled
her out of her clothes, slowly and silently. She watched me as I did it, and my
heart soared as her expression began to soften into excitement. I took off my
own clothes, letting her watch, and then we stepped into the shower.

I kissed her, washed her, went down on her. I didn't require her to
reciprocate, but I didn't object when she did. I knew she liked doing it, and
she seemed to be in a better mood, afterwards. She smiled and made out with me
for a while under the water, and then we got out and dried off, our eyes
catching and roaming our bodies as we dressed.

We cuddled on the couch and watched TV. But we weren't really watching. Mom was
going to be home any minute, but Alice hadn't mentioned leaving, and I didn't
want her to. I didn't want her to go back to that house where Jane and Victoria
lived. I wanted her to stay with me forever.

I had to think. I had to figure some way to make everything better. Leah's
suggestions were rattling around in my head and I had decided that I was going
to do something on the weekend—but what? Alice liked shopping, sure, but
couldn't I come up with something a little more special? I thought about it
furiously but I came up with nothing. I didn't have the means to take her to
the opera or something extravagant like that, and it wasn't really realistic to
take her ice-skating on a picturesque frozen lake somewhere like in a movie. It
sucked, but I really didn't have that many options, did I?

But maybe I didn't need any. Alice wasn't dating me for my money or popularity
or romantic flair; she was dating me for other things. Sex and blood, most of
all. Maybe it was time to be mature about this and stop worrying about all the
petty teenage stuff. Alice had her needs and meeting those needs was most
important. But was that true? Vampire or not, she was still a girl, even if she
only liked to pretend. Leah had said it herself. Maybe what she really needed
was something simple and romantic. Something sweet.

I didn't know. Alice's wants and needs were still a pretty huge mystery to me.
And maybe mine were too. What exactly did I want out of this relationship,
anyway? I had no idea. All I seemed to want was Alice. Just Alice.

Finally I decided that there was no point letting my thoughts circle like this.
I wasn't cut out to be the assertive one in a relationship, and in the end, all
I could do was make myself available and let her know I wanted to make her
happy.

"Hey, Alice?"

We were sitting in the center of the couch and I had my arm around her slim
shoulders.

"Hm?"

I felt a flutter of nervousness, as if I was asking for a first date or
something, but I swallowed and went on. "I was thinking," I said. "Did you want
to do something special on the weekend?"

She sat up and smiled at me. "Like what?"

I was encouraged; there was excitement in her face, and suddenly I abandoned
any idea of something sweet and wholesome. Those eyes seemed to only want one
thing; and it wasn't flowers.

"Well, I was thinking," I said, making it up on the spot. "Maybe we could,
like, get a hotel room again. And we could get all dressed up and you could
bite me. We could make it special, like last time. What do you think?"

It seemed like a good idea as I was saying it and she seemed to agree. She
smiled happily. "Okay," she said. "That sounds awesome."

Then she kissed me. My heart soared and I rejoiced that I'd finally done
something right. But then she broke the kiss softly and her smile went a touch
darker.

"Thank you, baby," she purred. "I'm gonna fuck you so bad you'll never look at
Vicky again."

I felt a weird rush of hurt and excitement, and I blinked uncertainly,
completely at a loss on how to react. She went to kiss me again, but I turned
my face away reflexively. Her lips landed on my cheek and I whispered: "I wish
you wouldn't say stuff like that."

"Like what, baby?"

I blinked at her tearfully. "I really didn't mean to do it, Alice," I said,
referring to the cheating. "It wasn't my fault."

"I know, baby, I know," she said, and pulled me into a hug. "I was just
playing. Don't listen to me, okay? I love you. You know that, don't you?"

I pushed away from the hug and looked into her eyes. "I'll make it up to you
this weekend," I told her. "I promise. I'll do anything you want. Anything."

"Ooh," she smirked. "My mind's already racing with possibilities. Maybe I could
bring a few toys, hm? Would you like that?"

I nodded, happy she was enthusiastic. "Anything you want, Alice," I said, and I
really meant it. "Anything at all." And I was so relieved for some reason that
I kept babbling. "Hey, do you want to stay for dinner tonight? I mean, I know
vampire's don't have to eat, but…"

She smiled. "I'd love to," she said, cutting me off with a kiss. "Can I help
cook?"

More relief flooded through me. "Of course."

"Great," she said, then she smirked and touched my leg suggestively. "Your mom
will probably send me away afterwards, but you'll save me some dessert, won't
you?"

Her lips were already leaning to mine. I watched them approach, dazed. "Yes," I
whispered, just as they closed over my mouth. She eased me back onto the couch
and snaked a hand up my top. I let myself slip away into the sweetness of her
kiss and I didn't think a single thought until mom got home.

Mom wasn't happy to find Alice beside me on the couch. Who knows why? We'd
stopped making out as soon as we'd heard the car and I'd tucked my breast back
into my top. I mean, really; what's the big deal?

Alice and I made dinner together, a simple vegetable stir-fry, and then we all
sat down together. I was still in a strange mood from my hectic day and mostly
I was just praying that mom wouldn't embarrass me in front of Alice. I was
almost starting to regret inviting her for dinner, but so far it had been okay.
Mom was trying to be friendly, despite her vague and unfounded
disapproval—well, unfounded as far as she knows, at least—and she even made an
attempt at conversation.

"So, Alice," she said, with a fake smile. "I was sorry to hear about you and
your boyfriend. Did you get things worked out?"

Oh god.

I almost face-planted into my stir-fry. Why does everything I do backfire so
drastically? All I wanted to do was repair things with Alice. Why does the
universe hate me so much?

Alice glanced at me and then at my mom. "My boyfriend?"

Mom nodded with sympathy. "Bella mentioned that you were having some problems,"
she said delicately.

I gave Alice a pleading look, silently begging her not to be mad that I had
been talking about her, and Alice gave a strange smile. "Oh," she said, turning
to my mom. "Yeah, we were, but we're not seeing each other any more. It didn't
work out."

Mom nodded approvingly. "Well, maybe it's for the best," she said. "You really
shouldn't trust someone who cheats on you."

Well. I'd always loved my mom more than anything else in the world, but in that
moment I was struggling not to stab her with my fork and run out of the room in
tears. How could she embarrass me like this? Sure, she doesn't really know what
she talking about and the whole thing was all my fault, but still. Do I really
deserve this kind of punishment? Haven't I suffered enough?

Alice seemed to think it was amusing. She smiled at me and then at my mom.
"Yeah, I guess not," she said. Then her smiled brightened suddenly. "Besides,
who needs a boyfriend when I have a friend like Bella? Bella's better than any
boyfriend. She'd never cheat on me, would you Bella?"

Well. Apparently I really haven't suffered enough. I chuckled awkwardly,
passing it off as a joke for mom's benefit, but deep down it felt like my soul
was wilting. How long was she going to be passive-aggressive like this? It was
almost enough to drive a girl to cheat.

Alice left after dinner and I found her waiting upstairs for her dessert. I
spread myself on the bed for her enjoyment and afterwards we turned off the
lamp and curled up together under the covers. It had stopped raining outside
and she felt very warm and naked nestled against my side.

We were silent for a long time and then she spoke.

"Bella?"

Her voice seemed a little small, a little hesitant. I blinked in the dark.

"Yes?"

She moved against me slightly. "I love you," she whispered in my ear. "I'm
sorry if I seem like a bitch sometimes."

My heart lifted and I rushed to reassure her. "You're not a bitch, Alice. Don't
be ridiculous."

"I know," she said. "But sometimes I feel…"

"Feel what?"

"Nothing," she murmured. "It's nothing." She rustled at my side again and
cupped a hand around my breast. "Hey," she said, in a much more casual voice.
"Do you think your mom will be okay with you spending the night with me on
Saturday? I don't want to get you in trouble."

I put my hand over hers automatically. I hadn't even thought of that, but at
this point, I didn't care. Mom would have to understand. One way or another.
Alice was too important to me. "She will," I said. "But, um, you know I can't
pay for the hotel, right?"

It was a brief bit of levity that occurred to me spontaneously. I was relieved
that it worked. Alice giggled and straddled my hips, lowering her body over
mine.

"I know, don't worry," she whispered into my lips. "I'll take care of all that.
There's only one thing you have to do. Do you know what that is?"

"What?"

"Let me," she whispered. "Can you do that?"

It felt uneasily like a reference to my flimsy excuse for what happened with
the redhead, but I brushed it off. Maybe it wasn't intentional and even if it
was…even if it was, I didn't care. I'd promised I was going to make this up to
her and I would.

"Yes," I whispered. "I can do that."

—

The next day was Friday and I couldn't wait for the week to be over. This week
had been a hell of shame, self-loathing, insecurity, and multiple orgasms, and
I was looking forward to the weekend so I could relax and, well, enjoy more
multiple orgasms. I was tired of being emotionally exhausted. All I wanted was
to be alone with Alice.

But in order to get there I first had to make it through Friday. I was hopeful.
Lauren's rumors hadn't killed me from humiliation so far and by now I'd
hardened enough to not even fear the redhead. Alice and I had a date planned, a
special date, and I was feeling strong with about two dozen different vows and
promises in my heart that Alice would forever be the only girl for me. In fact,
that morning I felt so faithful to my beautiful Alice that it seemed ridiculous
that I'd ever been afraid of succumbing to anyone else in the first place—even
someone as hot as Victoria.

Perhaps I was bolstered by Alice's outburst against Jane and her threat against
Lauren. I was pretty positive that Alice wouldn't actually kill anyone for
being mean to me—even an insect like Lauren—but the sentiment was nice. I found
myself fantasizing about it in English; picturing Alice grabbing Lauren by the
throat and delivering some dramatic dialog about how nobody speaks to Bella
that way before snapping her slender neck like a twig. That would be cool. And
it was so amazing when Alice had slapped Jane. It hadn't seemed to bother the
psychotic blonde, unfortunately, but the sound was sweet and there was no one
that deserved it more. I spent a bit of English fantasizing about Jane's
demise, too.

And the redhead? She probably deserved a little righteous justice as well, but
in all fairness, the redhead's torment had culminated in a pretty massive
orgasm, and the whole ordeal was mostly my fault for being weak, anyway. Lauren
and Jane were just mean.

I didn't know why, but for some reason I still had a little trouble mustering
any true hatred for Victoria. It was strange. She was the most heartless and
cruel woman I'd ever met, but she was sexy, too, and somehow it really took the
sting out when she let you suck on her tits. I mean, really. We had sex
together. And I was supposed to hate her for that? Part of me truly didn't
understand. You couldn't call what happened between us making love, of
course—and I wouldn't fucking want to—but how was I supposed to be completely
disaffected? We touched each other naked, for god's sake. It was difficult
enough not to fall in love with the bitch, let alone despise her.

And even more weird was the fact that not even Alice hated her. Alice; the
person Victoria had been trying to hurt. Alice; the person Victoria had history
with and feelings for. Alice had said they'd had a tumultuous relationship;
Leah had said they still might be a little in love with each other. And how did
I fit into all this? Victoria seduced me to hurt Alice and according to Alice
she might try again. But how on earth was such vile sluttery supposed to help
her win Alice?

I didn't understand any of it—but none of it mattered, anyway. Because Alice
loved me and I loved Alice, and from now on I was completely devoted to her,
body, soul, and especially body. It had been a truly hellish week, but it would
be over in a matter of hours, and for the whole weekend it would be nothing but
Alice, Alice, Alice. No Jane, no Lauren, no Victoria. No cheating, no loathing,
no secret resentment. Just me and Alice and anything Alice wanted. It was going
to be perfect.

I truly believed that. All day I walked around with hope in my heart, positive
that by next week things were going to be better, that everything would be back
to normal. I was going to show Alice how much I loved and appreciated her, and
Alice was going to see how truly I wanted to be hers and hers alone. All I had
to do was make it through Friday. And maybe I would've—if the redhead hadn't
chosen that day to make her second pass.

My downfall turned out to be nothing more than a chance encounter in an empty
corridor. I'd been looking at the floor as I shuffled along on my way to
math—of all things—and when I looked up and saw her, I knew. The redhead smiled
as our eyes met. Something that felt like acid spread through my chest and I
wanted to turn around and run; but I didn't. Despite everything I knew about
the woman and despite the bad feeling that seemed to have lodged itself into my
actual heart, I continued walking toward her. I still felt faithful and I even
managed to scowl at her disdainfully. But this only made her smirk.

"Well, well," she said, her beautiful voice oozing confidence and fake charm.
"A chance meeting in the corridors between classes. Is it fate? Is it destiny?
Or is it simple misfortune? Tell me, my dear. Are you as tempted to make a
tryst of it as I am?"

I glared at her. "A what?"

"A tryst," she repeated. "A date, a meeting, a rendezvous between lovers. Come.
Let us not waste fate's bounty, hm?"

She reached for my hand. I jerked it away and stumbled backwards. I'd been
carrying a couple textbooks, and my movement was so sudden and panicked that I
dropped them. They slapped onto the polished floor; right at the redhead's
feet.

I waited for her to move out the way so I could pick them up and get away from
her, but she didn't. She just stood there on a tilted hip, watching me. She was
wearing a red halter with a white number over the chest in football-jersey
lettering. The number was sixty-nine, but that didn't strike me as witty. Her
shoes were heeled sandals and her denim miniskirt exposed most of her legs.
There was a pair of red lips embroidered on the skirt and I could see the
waistband of a thong slung over her hips. I'm pretty sure her outfit was
severely against the school dress-code, but I was too distracted to make a note
to report her.

My books were laying right at her feet, and the thought of bending down to pick
them up with her standing so close made my insides clench in disgust. I
glowered at her hatefully. "I have to get to class," I gritted out, hoping
she'd get the hint.

She smiled haughtily and shifted her weight onto her other leg, putting a hand
on her hip. Other than that, she didn't move. "Well," she said, "don't let me
keep you."

I gritted my teeth. I was tempted to leave the books and just walk away. But
showing up for math without my textbook wasn't going to solve any problems, and
in any case, I didn't want to give her the satisfaction. She thought she was so
irresistible. Well, fuck that. I was going to grab my textbooks and leave the
bitch standing there.

So, still glaring at her, I took a step closer, cautiously as if she was
something poisonous. She watched me. When I was close enough to reach the books
I started to kneel slowly. She smiled. I went to take one of the books and
suddenly she stepped on it with her foot.

I froze, kneeling there at her feet. I could've wrenched the book away, maybe,
but I was paralyzed by the sudden closeness. My eyes traveled up the length of
her ivory legs, a dizzy sensation washing over me like vertigo, and up over her
bare midriff and over her breasts that hung so heavily in her halter and up to
her flushed face. She tucked some hair behind her ear, looking down at me, and
smirked.

"I must confess," she said. "It's been quite a while since a girl has excited
me the way you do. Perhaps it's only because you belong to Alice. What do you
think?"

I stood up, leaving the books there on the ground. "I think you're a fucking
slut."

I meant it as an insult; but she smiled happily. "Quite so," she said. "But
perhaps you're not so pristine yourself, hm?"

I didn't answer, I just glared at her. My insides were roiling with excitement
and disgust, and some secret voice deep in the dark corners of my mind was
whispering that she was right, that I was a slut just like her, both of us,
total sluts, and oh wouldn't it be great if we could be sluts together, if we
could just go somewhere and take off all our clothes and just—

She finally moved. She bent and picked up my books, and at first I was
surprised. I thought she was going to give them back. But she didn't. She
turned down the corridor and beckoned with a finger.

"Come," she said, and then she walked away with my textbooks.

I should've let her go. Textbooks were replaceable; my self-respect and
relationship with Alice were not. But I followed. Her heels clicked on the hard
cold floor and I kept a little distance behind her. I was watching her legs and
after a while I realized where we were going.

The bathroom upstairs that was always empty.

She walked in first, not even bothering to check if I was behind her. She
placed my books on the counter next to one of the sinks and looked at me in the
mirror. I was lingering at the door, glaring at her.

"Give me back my textbooks."

She ignored me.

"You're the seventh girl I've had in here so far," she said. "You would've been
the eighth if you hadn't frightened away the last one. Forks has been a little
more challenging than I'm used to, I'm afraid. The cold weather keeps them a
little frigid, I think."

I ignored her.

"Give me back my textbooks."

She smiled and turned to me. "You don't care about the books. You followed me
because you want me. You should admit your situation. There would be more
dignity in it."

The notion that there could be any dignity in anything that was happening right
now almost made me cry. How many promises had I made? How many vows? Was I
about to break them? Or had I broken them already by simply being here?

My glare faltered. "Just give me my books."

It came out almost as a beg, but it didn't move her. She smiled. "Lock the
door, honey."

I didn't budge. She smiled and came over. I tensed up as she got near, but all
she did was reach past me and turn the lock on the bathroom door.

"Stay away from me," I whispered.

She leaned her face closer to mine. "Now, now, let's not get hysterical," she
said. "We both know you want it."

I didn't know if it was her smirk or the sheer hateful truth of her words, but
something filled me with a sudden rage. I stumbled back and lashed out suddenly
with a vicious slap. The sound echoed off the tiles and the redhead smirked.

I was seized with a sudden fear. What had I done? The woman was a vampire and
she was obviously quite evil. What if she hurts me?

She stepped toward me with a menacing swing in her hips and I backed up against
one of the sinks. She came so close our bodies pressed together. I tried to
push her away, but she caught my wrists in her hands and pinned them behind my
back. I tilted my face up to hers, my eyes filling with tears of helplessness.
She smiled and kissed me.

I knew it was coming. And I knew there was nothing I could do about it. Her
lips descended over mine numbly and I didn't close my eyes. I did nothing but
stand there and let her. Excitement was building in my chest like a cyclone and
suddenly I felt her tongue ask for entry. I wanted to open my mouth so badly,
but I couldn't. It was too much, too wrong, too disgusting, and suddenly I
twisted my face away with a groan of horror.

She still had my wrists pinned behind my back and I was panting from fear and
from how exhilarating the kiss had been. I looked up at her and almost
whimpered. "Why are you doing this to me?"

She smiled and I felt her transfer both my wrists into one hand. She then used
her free hand to cup my cheek tenderly. "Because you're cute," she whispered.
"Because it'll infuriate Alice. But most of all…I just like to fuck. Do you
like to fuck, Bella?"

I shook my head desperately. "No."

"I think you do," she smirked.

I sniffed. "Please."

She looked at me with fake concern. "Please, what? Hm? What's the matter?"

"I don't want to do this."

"Yes, you do," she whispered. "Do you think I don't know? I can hear your heart
race. I can smell your pheromones."

She lowered her lips to mine.

"No," I said.

"Yes," she said.

I screamed, "Nooo!"

I started thrashing. But her grip on my wrists was too powerful and all I
managed to do was rub my chest against hers. The heavy weight of her breasts
repelled and infuriated me even more and I screamed again.

"Let me go!"

She clenched a hand in my hair behind my head and wrenched my face back. It
hurt enough to silence me and I felt tears leak out my eyes. But she wasn't
angry. She was smiling and her voice was very gentle.

"Shh, shh, shh," she whispered, wiping my tears away with the thumb of her free
hand. "Calmly, my dear. After all, if you don't respect me, what must you think
of yourself? Look at what I'm doing to you."

"Fuck you," I spat, but she pulled on my hair again and I groaned in pain.

"Just surrender, my dear," she whispered, lowering her lips to mine. "It'll be
so much nicer if you surrender."

She kissed me.

I had tried to resist, I really did. But I gave up as her tongue forced it's
way into my mouth. My mind went blank and my eyes fell closed. What else could
I do? My pussy was throbbing and she hadn't been lying. I wanted her. I wanted
her so badly it made me sick. So I gave up and opened my mouth.

I started responding and after a while she let go of my wrists. It hardly
occurred to me to try and push her away. It seemed far more desirable to grope
her boobs. Her own hands had started roaming my body and I moaned as her hand
when into my pants and stroked the front of my panties. I pushed her tongue
with my own and grabbed her ass. But it was frustrating to grope it through the
thick material of her denim miniskirt, so I hiked it up. She was wearing a
thong and I took large handfuls of her naked ass, groaning as she squeezed my
breasts under my top.

My breath was coming hard and fast and I was close to climax when she stopped.
She smiled and led me by the hand into the stall in the corner. She put down
the toilet lid, hiked up her skirt a little more, and then she sat and opened
her legs.

I watched her, utterly mesmerized. I was so excited I felt like I was gong to
pass out.

She smiled and peeled aside her wet red silk panties. Then she spread her pussy
with her fingers so I could see inside her, legs in the air, and said: "Go
ahead, honey. You know you want to."

I should've been disgusted, repelled, furious. I should've been anything than
what I was; which was completely and utterly turned the fuck on. I'd never been
more horny in my life, and while it might've been possible to simply turn
around and walk out, I didn't do it. Didn't even think about it. I did the only
thing I could do—I got on my knees on the toilet floor and started eating her
out.

And because I'm such a total fucking whore, I stuck a hand in my panties and
fingered myself while I did it.

—

***** Chapter 12 *****
—

Chapter 12:

—

Victoria was reapplying her lipstick in the bathroom mirror. I stood aside,
watching, feeling so sick that I could hardly stand. My textbooks were on the
counter beside her and I was waiting for her to get out of the way.

"Listen," she said, capping the lipstick and pursing her lips—lips that had
tasted so fucking great. She turned to me and started adjusting my hair,
smoothing out the tangles. "I should warn you that I intend to gloat about this
to Alice pretty shamelessly. I'm not sure how you plan to handle it, but I
thought you deserved a heads up." She smiled at me and winked. "All's fair in
love and war, of course, but there's no reason we shouldn't be pleasant about
it, hm?"

My skin was crawling and I only started breathing again when she stepped back.
I glared at her timidly. "Alice isn't going to forgive me this time, is she?" I
asked.

"Perhaps not," she said, and then smiled. "But don't despair." She took one of
my notebooks, flipped to the back page, and wrote something with the ballpoint
that had been stuck in the binder. "This is my phone number," she told me.
"Call me if you get lonely." She closed the book, gathered up the others, and
handed them to me. She smiled, a dashing and winsome smile with her ruby lips
that gave no hint of the kind of person she really was. "To be honest, I've
developed a subtle crush on you," she said, and there even seemed to be a
slight blush on her cheeks. "I like girls who can't resist me."

I took the books and didn't reply. I was hoping she'd just go, but she couldn't
resist a final parting shot; she placed her hands on my shoulders, leaned, and
kissed me. She left her lips on mine long enough to demonstrate that I truly
was helpless against her, and then she smiled, waved with a wriggle of her
fingers, and left the bathroom.

For a long time I stood there, holding my books. My mind still hadn't really
caught up to what had happen and how it was going to affect everything, but I
knew in my stomach that I'd fucked up big and probably ruined absolutely
everything. I looked at the mirror. I looked like a survivor from a car wreck,
pale, dazed, queasy. I was surprised my mouth was open slightly and I closed it
and licked my lips. I could taste the redhead in my mouth and suddenly I put my
books down and threw up in the sink.

A thin stream of bile, no more. I spat and rinsed my mouth. I hated the taste
of vomit, but at least it tasted better than the redhead. Metaphorically, at
least. I looked up into the mirror, leaving the water running. Is that really
me there? Is it really me that did those things? I couldn't be positive, and
despite the vomit and the churning in my stomach, I didn't seem to have any
real feelings at the moment. I felt numb and hopeless, cold, weak, hardly able
to stand. I licked my lips and spat again. I turned off the water and looked at
my reflection. Yep, that really is me. Oh well. I suppose there comes a time in
every young lady's life when she has to look in the mirror honestly and ask
herself; am I a slut? Does my pussy affect my decision making just a little too
much?

Certainly there was something wrong with me. Some glitch in my head or between
my legs that drives me to do stupid things involving nudity and pussy-eating. I
hadn't known being raped was subjective. It's really not so bad when the
perpetrator in question is a sexy red-haired vampiress in a miniskirt. Or maybe
it's just me. Something wrong with me.

I bowed my head, unable to keep looking at myself. What was Alice going to say?
I honestly had no idea, but even before I had a chance to think about it, I had
a vague but definite feeling that the relationship was over. There was no way
she could forgive me for this, and even if she did…there was no way I could
forgive myself.

I didn't bother going back to class. I stuck my books in my locker and just
went home. Lunch period was next and there was simply no way I could've faced
Alice. The very thought almost made me keel over and die.

I walked home, staring down at the sidewalk as I shuffled along among the
litter and dead cigarette butts. It wasn't raining, or even drizzling, and
halfway home I noticed my shadow was more defined than usual. I looked up. The
sun had come out and the sky was almost clear. In movies and TV, the weather
usually mirrors the mood of the introspective heroine, so maybe there was some
other girl out there who hadn't cheated on her girlfriend for the second time
and really liked it. Unless the sun was mocking my inner gloominess with it's
cheerful brightness, although I'm not sure why it would bother. I'm obviously
not main character material, and certainly not worthy of symbolic weather
conditions. Just a dumb bitch who cheated on her girlfriend—excuse me; ex-
girlfriend.

I went up stairs and threw down my backpack. I stood around in my room, unable
to decide what to do. Shall I hang myself or use pills? Pills would be more
painless, not that I deserved the consideration. Does it make me a weaker
person that I'd prefer a painless death over a dramatic one? I wasn't sure, but
considering that I wasn't actually going to do it, it seemed like a silly
question.

My phone buzzed. A text from Alice:

Where are you?

No smiley face, no I-love-you. Had the redhead talked to her already?

And what was I supposed to reply? That I'm at home brooding about suicide
because I cheated on her again and can't take it anymore?

Another text.

Are you at home?

I didn't reply to this one, either. I couldn't face her right now and I
seriously doubted she wanted to see me. How could she? I'm sure Victoria
would've downplayed my resistance when she told Alice about the incident, and
so what if I'd tried to resist? I'd caved in the end.

My phone buzzed again and I checked the message. I'd been half-hoping for
something soft and sweet, something soothing to cajole me out of my hole with
assurances that she didn't blame me and still loved me. But it was nothing like
that. It said:

I hate you.

I stared at it with blinkless eyes, feeling a strange combo of horror, anguish,
and most strangely, relief. The message was a little petty, perhaps—especially
for a centuries old vampire—but it was a relief that she was finally having a
rational reaction that I could understand.

And just in case I didn't understand, she sent me another one:

You fucking slut.

Well. There's nothing passive-aggressive about that.

I was standing in the middle of my room, staring down at the cellphone in my
hands, and I was so upset that I couldn't even cry. My insides felt utterly
shredded and I reread the message over and over. It hurt that she was being
mean and not even reminding myself that I deserved it could make it stop
hurting.

When the phone buzzed again it was with an incoming call. I pressed cancel and
stared at the screen. It rang again. My thumb hovered over the number pad,
undecided, and then I pressed cancel once more. I waited for it to ring again,
but it didn't, and after a while I went downstairs and watched TV.

The next time she called was in the middle of dinner. Mom heard the phone buzz
and paused mid-babble as I fished it out my pocket and frowned at the screen. I
pressed cancel and it rang a second time less than a minute later. I canceled
one more time and it was ringing once again before I even put it back in my
pocket.

"Alice again?" mom asked.

I nodded solemnly and turned off the phone. "Yeah," I muttered. My food was
mostly untouched and I'd only been picking at it. Mom had noticed something
strange about me since she got home but she'd stopped badgering me about it by
now.

"Well, go ahead and answer it if you want," she suggested, as if she thought
maybe talking to Alice would make me feel better. It was a fair assumption
since usually I lived only to talk to Alice—and do other things. "It might be
important."

I shook my head, tucking the phone back into my pocket. "Nah," I said. "I'll
talk to her later."

I didn't talk to her later. I kept my phone off for the rest of the night and I
spent the night with my bedside lamp on, laying on my side and staring at the
closed window. Alice never came and after a while I must've fell asleep.

The nice weather continued through the weekend. Mom did some gardening and she
was so alarmed by my sullen spirits as I hovered around her doing nothing that
she even encouraged me to go out somewhere with that friend of mine. Alice.
Until that day she'd been trying to get me to spend less time with her. It was
nice of her to try, but the idea of spending time with my suddenly ex-
girlfriend only reminded me of the plans we'd made for the weekend. I was
supposed to be in an expensive hotel room somewhere getting rough fucked with
sexy toys before getting bitten in the neck. I wasn't supposed to be moping
around the house with my cellphone off, avoiding an inevitable break up with
the most perfect girl in existence.

I had no idea I was this spineless. Not only did I cheat on her—twice—but I
didn't even have the decency to let her break up with me to my face. I was
pretty sure that's what the calls were about. She wanted to meet somewhere,
away from my mom, so she could tell me exactly what she thought about me
without being quiet. She hated me, and I was a fucking slut, after all. I'm
sure those weren't the only feelings she had that required expression. But
maybe the coldness of the texts was even worse.

I didn't turn my phone back on until Sunday morning. It rang less than an hour
later. I'd thought I was ready to talk to her, but I wasn't. I let it go to
voice mail, and with a feeling like I was about to hear my own death edict, I
put the phone to my ear and listened to the message. Her voice came babbling
and half-frantic and I was stunned by her words.

"Oh god, Bella, I'm so sorry, please, please, I didn't mean those texts, baby,
I really didn't. Please, call me, I have to talk to you, I have to see you. I
love you, baby, please. Call me. I'm not mad, baby, really I'm not, please just
call me. Please."

I let the phone drop from my ear and I stared at it, a dull hope slowly
spreading through my chest. Was it possible? Could she truly forgive me? I
listened to the message again and her beautiful voice, so frantic and
desperate, rent my heart into pieces. How could I do this to her? She loved me,
she truly did. How could I?

Suddenly I was seized in a panic. I was sitting on the edge of my bed, phone in
my lap, and I wanted to call her so bad, but I didn't know if I could. I'd done
a lot of thinking over the last couple days and the last few shreds of my so-
called maturity had demanded that I let her dump me like she should. I was
obviously not ready for a serious relationship at this point in my life and I
was not worthy of an angel like Alice. But I'd decided all that before I'd
known forgiveness was a possibility. What if she truly did want to forgive me
and take me back? Had I been overreacting when I thought I wasn't good enough
for her? Maybe I wasn't as awful as I thought. Maybe I had some special asset
that appealed to her more than I realized. Something like…

Blood. She was supposed to bite me last night, wasn't she? But she didn't. And
now she calls me in the morning desperate to make up with me? Her voice even
sounded junkie-like. It made sense, didn't it? She sent the texts Friday
afternoon in a fit of pique, and as the days wore on, she began to realize that
she hadn't fed from me and can't if she doesn't take me back. Was she so
desperate for my blood that she'd overlook the fact that I'd cheated on her
twice?

I hesitated on the speed dial. I'd almost been about to call her back, but a
subtle chill stopped me. Was it Alice who wanted to take me back, or was it the
bloodlust? I didn't know, and deep down, I still didn't really care. I'd spend
every drop of blood I had if it would buy back my Alice. I didn't care if I
didn't deserve her. I needed her, just like she needed me. I loved her, I—

The phone rang again and I almost jumped. I'd hesitated too long and she'd been
forced to call again, and even though the ringtone was the same as ever I
thought I could hear something angry in it, something scorned. I didn't answer
and the message she left chilled me to my core.

"You fucking whore, you stupid fucking bitch, how could you do this to me? I
loved you, Bella, I loved you so much, and you, you… I gave you everything and
you won't even answer the phone? You fucking bitch. I'd bet you'd answer it if
it was Vicky, wouldn't you? You fucking slut, I can't believe I ever loved you.
I can't believe, I can't, I can't… Oh, fuck you, Bella, just fuck you."

I was crying before the message was even halfway through, and when it was
finished, I deleted both voice mails, turned the phone off, and threw it on the
ground as if it was something poisonous. Then I buried my face into my pillow
and cried harder than I'd ever cried in my life.

I spent the rest of the day cooped up in my room and I spent most of the night
in bed wondering how I was going to get out of school tomorrow. I'd been
missing a lot lately and it was going to be hard to convince mom. Maybe I
should just skip. Get suspended. Stay home another couple days. How long can I
avoid Alice? I had no idea, but I knew it wouldn't be forever. Maybe she was to
disgusted right now to come see me personally, but eventually her anger will
overcome her disgust.

Or maybe she'll just forget about me. Maybe she'll gradually realize that I'm
not even worth being angry about and the next time I see her she'll already
have a new girlfriend. Lauren, maybe. The girl could obviously use a chick in
her life. They'd actually make a pretty cute couple. Tough, sexy, abrasive
Lauren. Cute, charming, affectionate Alice. Alice would mellow Lauren out a
little and Lauren would be assertive enough to treat Alice like the princess
she is. They'd be pretty hot, too. Lauren, blonde and long haired. Alice, black
and pixie-like. But how would they get together? Maybe Lauren would tease her
about how I cheated on her. And maybe Alice would be so hurt that Lauren would
be sorry and apologize. And maybe Lauren would ask if she wants to talk about
it and Alice would mention that she wished she could date someone stronger and
more confident and more prettier. Someone like Lauren, maybe. She'd mention
that part with a tiny blush of attraction, and maybe Lauren would blush, too,
secretly turned on. Lauren would pass it off as nothing and meaningless, but
she'd keep thinking about it, and keep thinking about it, and one day after
cheer practice she'd catch herself looking at Alice in the showers. And Alice
would catch her looking. Suddenly they'd notice that they're all alone. Naked
and wet and all alone and secretly attracted to each other. Alice would go
over. Lauren wouldn't speak. Alice would kiss her, tentatively, to see if she'd
respond. Lauren would be weird at first, but slowly becoming excited, and
slowly she'd kiss back. Alice would press their naked bodies together, water
cascading all over them, their hair wet and clinging to their faces, tonguing
each other more and more urgently, and Lauren would reach down and grab Alice's
ass, her cute and wonderful little ass, and Lauren would be so horny that she
loses her mind and just drops to her knees, and—

I was touching myself by then, and losing interest in the romantic stuff, so I
pictured Lauren sticking her tongue into Alice's ass, and then I came. I hadn't
had sex in over two days and I guess I was a little backed up.

Monday morning was fine and sunny, a rarity in Forks. I got ready for school,
without any intention of going, and checked my messages before I went down
stairs. There was nothing in my voice mail, but there was a number of texts
that apologized for her outburst and assured me that she'd be there to pick me
up for school and that we needed to talk and everything would be okay after we
talked. I didn't delete them, but I didn't reply, either. I went downstairs and
I looked for an opening to suggest to mom that I should stay home, but I didn't
find one. Mom left for work, assuming I'd be at school, and for a while I
contemplated going. Alice was going to pick me up, and…

And that's where I was stuck. How could she possibly want to see me? She
couldn't, not really. I still remembered her voice mail, her broken voice, hurt
and tearful as let out what she was truly feeling. Why did she want to forgive
me so badly? Was it only my blood? Or did she still truly have feelings for me?

I watched the sidewalk through a crack in the living room curtains and
eventually a chrome silver Volvo pulled up. Alice got out and stood in the
sunshine, looking up at the house. My heart broke. Then she glanced at the
window and I quickly ducked away. I hesitated, waiting, and then I approached
the front door. I felt feverish and sick. Should I open it? Alice was out there
and if I just open the door, if I just—

She knocked. I jumped and froze rigidly, staring at the door. There was a small
window in it and I saw a figure move behind the murky marbled glass. Someone
short and blackhaired. Alice.

"Bella?" she called.

Her voice almost broke me. It was soft and almost shy. She sounded as unsure as
I was. She called again:

"Are you there, Bella? Please, we need to talk. I'm not mad, okay? I'm not.
Please, just…"

I saw the figure behind the glass bow it's head. Then I saw the head raise and
her voice became harder.

"I'll be back tonight," she said. "You can't avoid me forever, Bella."

Then the figure turned and walked away.

—

I lay in bed that night full of dread. I had no idea if she wanted to forgive
me or tear my head off, and even worse, I had no idea what I wanted her to do.
I still loved her, so much, but deep in my heart I knew that things would never
be the same and it was pointless to even try. Alice needed someone else.
Someone who could at least be faithful to her.

I'd left the window closed, half-hoping she'd change her mind and not come. But
she came. It was almost midnight and I'd had my eyes closed. I heard a tapping
on the glass and I saw her there, just her eyes above the window frame, cold
and honey-colored, deathly beautiful. She pinned me with her stare, almost
making me cry, and then I got out of bed and opened the window.

"Meet me outside," she said.

"Alice—" I had no idea what I was going to say, but it didn't matter. She
dropped down into the darkness below and after a while I closed the window.

I was wearing my bed clothes so I took a moment to get changed. I wore black
jeans and a black t-shirt with the logo of a rock band on it and I sat on the
edge of the bed and pulled on my boots. I brushed my hair for some reason—Alice
had always loved my hair—and then I left my room and started creeping down the
corridor. I could hear a light snoring from mom's room and I prayed she
wouldn't get up and find me missing. It would completely destroy her image of
me and there would be no way I could explain it. I went down the stairs,
careful not to creak, and out the front door.

Alice was waiting on the sidewalk, beside her silver Volvo. Pacing back and
forth like a caged lioness. There weren't many street lights on this road, but
the sky was clear and the moon was almost full. I could see her clearly and she
looked paled and gorgeous and very unhappy.

And yet as soon as I was within reach she grabbed me and kissed me. She forced
her tongue into my mouth with a little sound of desperation and I felt a
flitter in my chest. Good thing I brushed my hair. She backed me into the car
and pressed herself into me. She put a hand up my top. I'd only just started
kissing her back when she broke away.

"You bitch," she hissed into my face. "You fucking bitch."

Then she kissed me again. Harder. She might've fucked me right there if I
hadn't tried to talk.

"I'm sorry," I tried to tell her. "I'm so…"

"Shut up, Bella," she snapped, pushing me away suddenly. "Just shut up. Why
have you been avoiding me?"

My expression went meek. "I thought you hated me."

"I do hate you," she hissed. "How could you do this to me, Bella? After
everything I've done for you? How could you?"

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head, tearing up suddenly. "I tried so hard to be a perfect
girlfriend for you, Bella. Was it me? Did I do something wrong?"

I panicked at the tone of her voice. I did not want her to blame herself and it
horrified me that I could've caused that. "No," I said hurriedly, "of course
not."

But she went on. "Am I too clingy?" she asked, her expression drooping into
insecurity. "I mean, I know I like to fuck a lot, but come on, I thought you
liked that. I thought that's what you wanted."

"It was," I assured her. "You're perfect, Alice, you really are."

Now she got angry again. Her brow darkened and she shoved me against the car.
"Then why?" she growled. "After all your promises and all those times you told
me you loved me. How could you do this?"

"It wasn't my fault."

"Not your fault?" She sneered at me disdainfully. "Well, what are you trying to
say, Bella? That you tripped somehow and fell face-first into her pussy? And
then avoided me for three days because you thought I wouldn't understand?"

I was startled by her sudden mood shifts and all I could do was shake my head
and murmur: "No."

She assumed an expression of fake-innocence, as if there had been some
misunderstanding and she was only just realizing. "No?" she said. "Then how was
it not your fault? Oh, I know. She let you again, didn't she? That bitch!"

Now I felt my own temper prickle. I had no right to get angry, none at all, but
how could she be sarcastic about this? Didn't she know how terrible I felt.
"She forced me," I said, even though I'd sworn I wasn't going to try and defend
myself. "I didn't want to."

She snorted. "Forced you."

"Yes," I insisted. "I didn't want to do it."

She shook her head in disgust. "You're a liar," she said. "Vicky isn't a
rapist, Bella. She's a manipulative, coercive, fat fucking slut, but she
wouldn't have done it if you didn't want it. You fucked her and you liked it.
Admit it!"

I sniffed, suddenly overwhelmed by the hurt and the regret. "I'm sorry," I
said. I tried not to let any tears fall, but I felt them on my cheeks as I
blinked. I wiped my eyes, sniffing again.

Alice watched me dispassionately, her face cold and pale in the moonlight. "She
told me she gave you her number."

Oh fuck.

I was so horrified with myself that I stopped crying.

"Did you throw it out?" she asked.

I didn't answer and she registered my expression.

"You fucking whore," she said. "You still want her, don't you?"

I shook my head frantically. "No! No, I—"

"Don't lie to me, Bella!" she said, shoving me back into the car, as if afraid
I was going to try and hug her. Tears came into her eyes. "You like her, don't
you?" she demanded. "You wish you were with her instead of me, don't you?"

"No," I whispered. "I love you, Alice."

She sniffed and wiped her eye, not looking at me. "You love me," she repeated.

"Yes," I said, lunging at the opportunity to make her feel better. I touched
her shoulder awkwardly. "More than anything."

She looked at the hand and she looked up at me with her huge brown eyes full of
hurt and hope. "Do you really mean it?"

"Yes," I said, and suddenly all my resolutions to let her leave me and find
someone she deserved dissolved like acid. I needed her and I would do anything
to make her feel better. "Please, Alice. I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you
any way you want. Do you want to bite me? You can do it right now. We can go
inside, and…"

But she slapped away my hand idly, not listening. I felt my heart sink. She
sniffed and wiped her eyes again. She looked up at the moon, a sad look,
resigned, hopeless, full of grief. She sniffed again and then she looked at me
and said: "Get in the car."

I felt a shiver of fear. "Where are we going?"

She had already opened the door and she wasn't looking at me. "Just get in,"
she told me, and I did.

We drove in silence and soon I realized she was taking me to her house. I had
no idea what she had planned and no idea how to feel about it. Anxiety seemed
most appropriate. I had a feeling she was driving me to a dramatic
confrontation with the redhead and I was beginning to wish she'd just dumped
me. I had no desire to be involved in a vampire soap-opera and it was pretty
clear the relationship was smashed beyond repair. Alice hated me. I could tell
by how many times she called me a fucking whore.

Alice pulled up in the driveway, and went around to open my door, and then she
grabbed me by the hand and led me roughly inside. She was a short girl but I
almost had to jog to keep up with her.

We found Jane and Leah making out in the living room. There was a controller
and a pair of yellow panties on the coffee table and Leah had her hand up
Jane's skirt. She didn't take it out, even when Alice and I barged in. Must be
a casual house, where you can just fuck in the living room with a video game on
pause. Too bad I didn't bring my cellphone, although it might've been rude to
take a picture, no matter how hot it was. I filed away the scene for future
fantasy material.

"Where's Vicky?" Alice demanded, clutching my hand.

Leah smirked. "In the garden," she said. "With Rose."

Jane had hardly noticed we were in the room. She spared a peevish glance with
her flushed face and then she drew Leah's face toward hers and resumed making
out with Leah's fingers pumping in out of her. Alice didn't wait around to
watch for a while, but I managed to contain my disappointment. She dragged me
by the hand down the corridor and through the kitchen. The momma-vampire, Esme,
was sitting at the counter reading a cook book. In a house like this, you'd
half expect her to have a zucchini sticking out of her somewhere, but she only
seemed to be reading. She looked up as Alice dragged me through the slidingdoor
and outside, but she didn't say anything.

The house had extensive gardens, including a greenhouse. Alice led me down the
cobbled path and around a fountain were a naked mermaid reclined on a rock with
a jug on her shoulder. She had nice tits, but the sculptor had omitted the
nipples for some reason. Too much detail, maybe.

We found the blonde and the redhead sitting on a stone bench in the center of
the garden, surrounded by flowers and making out in the moonlight. They were
wearing evening dresses, the blonde in black, the redhead in red, and I
realized that it was probably a date-night for them. They looked very gothic,
on this ornate stone bench in this moondappled garden, and very hot, too. They
were making out slow and steady, as if tasting each other, and their hands
roamed lovingly over their bodies. But I didn't have much time to appreciate
the scene. Alice stormed up and practically shoved me at them, or more
specifically, at the redhead.

"Here she is," Alice said. "You want her? Come take her."

Then she grabbed me and pulled me toward her possessively.

The blonde and the redhead broke apart slowly, neither particularly ruffled at
the interruption. They shared a glance that was almost a sigh and then they
rose from the bench, perfectly synchronized, as if they'd practiced. They
dusted the seats of their dresses and then they turned to each other and the
redhead placed a long slow kiss on the blonde's lips. It was the hottest thing
I ever saw.

"Wait for me upstairs," she told the blonde. "I'll be there soon."

The blonde didn't nod or make any word of agreement, but I got the impression
that her obedience was implied and expected. She turned and gave me a
disdainful look, as if registering my presence for the first time, and then she
approached Alice. She touched my girlfriend's hand, just gently, and leaned and
whispered something in her ear. I couldn't hear what she said, but I saw her
lips move. They were pink and shiny.

Whatever she said, Alice didn't react. The blonde looked into her face, gave me
one last look of distain, and then she walked away toward the house, her heels
clicking on the stone. I resisted the urge to watch her go.

Alice was still clutching my hand and she gestured with me to Victoria.

"You want Bella?" she said. "Come get her."

Victoria folded her arms under her breasts and gave a small snort of amusement.
"I couldn't care less about the child," she said. "As you're well aware,
Alice."

Well. This was rapidly becoming uncomfortable.

"I thought you were better than this, Victoria," Alice said, looking at her
with disgust. "I know we've had our problems, but I never thought you'd stoop
this low. I told you right from the beginning. Bella belongs to me. She's
mine."

Victoria arched an eyebrow. "Is she? Well, well. I hate to interfere in other
people's relationships, of course, but I do feel compelled to point out that
your claim to the young Miss Swan is perhaps not as strong as you seem to
think. At least, that's how it seemed to me, when she was on her knees eating
me out."

Alice's grip clenched on my hand painfully, but she remained glaring at
Victoria. "You fucking whore," she spat.

Victoria ignored her. "And while we're discussing claims," she said, "I might
well mention that I have some claims of my own. Claims on you. And yet you
abandoned me to fuck this girl here. And somehow I'm the whore?" She shook her
head in mock sadness and looked at me. "A lover's logic is a curious thing, is
it not Bella dear?"

"Don't talk to her," Alice hissed. "Don't even look at her."

"Whyever not, my dear?"

"I'm not going to let you steal Bella like you stole Rosalie."

Victoria giggled suddenly and lifted her hand to hide it, as if it was improper
somehow. A girlish gesture that almost made her seem cute. "Stole?" she
queried. "Dear child, how did I steal her? She's right up there, waiting in her
room. You can go see her now, if you like. We could go see her together.
There's no need to be such a drama-queen, Alice. Things could be so perfect, if
only you'd let them be."

"Shut up," Alice spat. "You had no right to touch her."

I didn't know if she was talking about me or the blonde. But I don't think it
mattered. I felt small and insignificant, and I didn't know what I was doing
here. There was too much I didn't understand.

Victoria smiled at Alice's outburst. "Oh, Alice," she said. "Spare me the
theatrics. You don't truly love this girl. How could you?" She looked at me
with her clear and cat-like emerald eyes. "She's nothing. Attractive, perhaps,
but nothing that couldn't be replaced at a moment's notice."

Alice's grip on my hand slackened slightly. But she said: "I love her. In a way
that I could never love a whore like you."

Victoria smiled at her sadly. "You truly believe that, don't you?" she said,
and there was pity in her voice. "Oh, Alice. Don't you see how you're
destroying yourself? Why must you be so ashamed of your feelings for me?
They're perfectly, natural, I assure you. I am, after all, quite irresistible."

Alice ignored her. "Stay away from, Bella," she said. "I'm warning you, Vicky.
If you ever come near her again—"

"She'll beg for more like the slut she is," Victoria finished. "I'm sorry,
Alice, but it's the truth. Perhaps the girl really does love you. And perhaps
she has been waiting for you all her life. But even the strongest heart is
subject to the body it hangs inside of. And her body is weak, my dear. Quite
weak."

Alice's grip slackened even more. I glanced at her, but she hardly seemed to be
aware of me anymore. She was focused solely on Victoria. "She loves me," she
told her. "More than you ever did."

Victoria shook her head. "I don't think so," she said. "But even if she did,
does it really matter? Why should your feelings be subjective to hers? Or
anybody's? Love is never fair, my dear, and you'd be well within your rights if
you wished to leave her. Be honest with yourself, Alice. Admit you were wrong
about her and look at her for what she is. A pitiful piece of meat who will
never be able to offer what I offer."

Alice's breath was ragged and there were tears in her eyes. Her hand was almost
slipping out of mine and she was glaring at Victoria with eyes filled with hate
and hurt. "You fucking slut," she said. "You filthy fucking slut."

It made her smile. "She calls me names," she said, and turned to me. "What do
you think, my dear? Am I as beastly as your girlfriend seems to think? Or deep
in your heart do you not agree that she is a fool to scorn me as she does in
favor of a peasant such as yourself?"

Alice's grip strengthened slightly. "I said don't talk to her."

Victoria shook her head again. "You don't love her, Alice," she said calmly, as
if explaining it. "You want to, I know, but you don't. You want to believe
she's something special. You want to believe she's your soulmate. But don't you
realize that all dreams must be woken from eventually?"

"Shut up."

"No matter how many times you tell her you love her, you'll never make it come
to pass. You're a broken girl, Alice. There's a flawed place in the fabric of
your heart. Do you think I could not know? I own you, my dear. I know your
heart as well as if it were my own. And perhaps it is. Is it not?"

"You don't love me," she whispered, her voice high and breathless, as if
hyperventilating. Her grip on my hand was very weak. "You never loved me."

"You don't require a lover, Alice, you require a keeper. Your heart is large,
my dear, but it is also ultimately empty. It is dark, it is barren. There is no
amount of love in the world that could fill it. Not me, not Rosalie, and
certainly not this human you seem to have decided upon."

"That's not true," she whimpered, her hand finally slipping out of mine and
falling limply at her side. "I love Bella. I love…"

"No," Victoria whispered. "Perhaps once you were capable of love. But not
anymore. The years have been unkind to you, my dear. The curse has clouded your
head and your life has become so balked about by shattered dreams and wrecked
hopes that you are now little more than a walking husk hardly fit to house a
woman's heart at all. And yet there does remain a purpose you may fulfill. Do
you know what that purpose is?"

Alice was crying. "Stop it," she begged. "Please."

Victoria smiled. "Sex," she said. "That is all you're good for, Alice."

Alice shook her head, covering her face with her hands. "Please," she
whimpered. "Just stop."

But Victoria didn't stop. Tears were leaking out of my face and all I could do
was watch as she took a step toward Alice, one step, two steps. Her flaming
hair flowed about her head and her face was deathly beautiful in the moonlight.

"Submit to me, Alice," she said, "and I will end your despair. Why are you
afraid? You know this is what you crave more than anything. In my arms you will
find what you're truly looking for. Surrender, subjugation, a sweet release of
everything you ever were and will be. You will be nothing but mine. Isn't that
what you want?"

Alice took a clumsy step back. "Stay away from me."

"Stop fighting it, Alice," Victoria said, and reached for her. "Let me have
you."

"No!" Alice screamed, and lashed out with her hand.

It was almost too quick to see. She clawed the redhead in a quick slash across
the face that opened three long gashes in her pale cheek. Alice stumbled back,
but Victoria only smiled. It was a horrible smile, painless and as cold as the
stars above.

"At last, you touch me again," she said. "How long has it been?"

Alice stared at her, her breath hitching. "I don't know."

Victoria tilted her head and made her voice soothing. As if talking to an
animal. "Would you like to touch me again?" she offered. "You may. Only get on
your knees first. Where you belong."

Alice looked at her helplessly. "Vicky…"

"Hm?" Victoria said, reaching to cup Alice's cheek. Her own cheek was gouged
and bloody with blood leaking down her neck. "What's the matter, my dear? Would
you like me to tell you how much I love you? Is that what you want? Because I
do. You know I do."

Alice was rubbing her face against her hand. "This isn't love," she whispered.

"What else could it be, my dear? Don't you know how I long for you?"

But she wasn't rubbing her face. She was shaking her head. "It's not love," she
said.

Suddenly, Victoria clenched her hand in Alice's hair and wrenched back her
face. Alice looked up at her dully.

"Yes," Victoria whispered. "It is. You belong to me, Alice. You can rage
against it all you want, but there's no other fate for you. You will submit and
in your submission you will understand that it was I and I alone that truly
loved you. And I will devour you, my dear. Your body and all your heart and
soul."

And with that, she kissed her.

I watched, mesmerized. Alice made a muffled protest, but opening her mouth only
allowed Victoria's tongue inside. I saw it go into her mouth and my stomach
lurched with sick excitement. My girlfriend was being kissed against her will
and it was turning me on. I watched, staring. Alice rocked backwards, but
Victoria held her tight. She seemed as helpless against her as I had been, but
I noticed a frown growing on her face, and suddenly she thrashed aside
violently and shoved the redhead away.

The redhead was wearing heels and she lost her balance. She fell backwards on
the dew-smeared grass and landed hard on her butt. Her boobs bounced once in
the neckline of her dress. It should've been embarrassing, but she seemed
delighted. She giggled and flicked one leg over the other, crossing them
provocatively, and looked up at Alice. Laying in the grass among the flower
bushes like another kind of rose, red and with thorns.

"I would've preferred to adjourn to the bedroom," she said, "but here's fine,
if you insist."

Alice stared down at her, shaking her head. "Don't do this to me, Vicky," she
said. "Please."

"Oh, Alice," Victoria said, flicking open her legs and hiking up her dress. Her
legs were maddeningly white in the moonlight and she wasn't wearing any
underwear. "I wish you'd realize that your mouth has more useful purposes than
this pointless blather."

"No," Alice whimpered. "Please."

"Yes," Victoria hissed. "Now."

Alice shook her head, but you could see the surrender in her tear filled eyes.
"You fucking bitch," she blubbered, and then she collapsed to her knees as if
they'd simply given way.

A gentleman would've obliged them with a discreet withdrawal. But I wasn't a
gentleman. My girlfriend—now officially my ex-girlfriend, it seemed—had just
been traumatized into angry sex in the garden grass by a woman who had
practically raped me a couple days ago, and the extent of my emotional reaction
to all this seemed to be horniness. I was too distracted at the moment to be
properly disgusted with myself, but the self-loathing would surely come later.

I stared at them helplessly, listening to Alice cry softly as she lapped at
Victoria's pussy. Victoria gave me look of triumph with her torn and bloody
face and I stared back. She was looking at me when she came and when she came
she closed her eyes. Alice crawled on top of her, completely ignoring me as if
I'd never existed, and started licking the wounds on Victoria's face, as if to
heal them. She was still crying and she was babbling under her breath between
licks.

"Oh god, Vicky. I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I'm sorry. Please. I love
you. I love you."

Moaning and licking at the blood. It was the blood licking that undid me, and
suddenly I turned away, unable to bare it. Salt choked my throat and I wheeled
around, stumbling back to the house with eyes that could barely see through
tears of horror and shock. I ripped open the slidingdoor that led into the
kitchen and the mother vampire rose from her stool in distress.

"Oh, honey, wait a moment and I'll…"

But I didn't pause, didn't listen. I ran through the house to the front door,
tore it open, and escaped into the night.

—

It was a long walk home and I got cold very quick. But it wasn't just the cold
that made me tremble. I wasn't even close to town yet and the terror of
trudging down a dark road in the middle of nowhere was enough to distract me
from the horror of what I'd witnessed back at the Cullen house. I was
surrounded by dark forest on both sides and every now and then I heard the
mournful shriek of an owl. My heart was throbbing in my throat and I trudged
on, my thoughts fluttering and circling like moths. I couldn't focus on any
single thing and mostly I was just scared. Scared of Alice, Victoria, myself,
of what my life had become. The things I'd seen, the things I'd done. Most of
all I was scared of the dark. I seemed to be surrounded by it.

I had no idea how far I'd gotten when I heard a car coming up behind me. I
panicked and quickly hid behind a tree in case it was a rapist or serial
murder. The night couldn't possibly get any worse, but you never know.

The car pulled up on the road and I heard a door open and a gentle female voice
call out.

"Honey?" she called. "Please, you can't walk home like this."

It was the mother vampire. Esme. I came out from behind the tree and looked at
her. She was older than the others and her beauty was less sharp, less
threatening. Looking at her gave me a strange comfort and what choice did I
have, anyway? I wasn't even sure I knew how to get back to town. So I took a
deep breath and got in the car, a dark green Mercedes, and let her drive me
home.

It was a long and quiet drive. The car smelt of fresh leather and a lilac scent
that might've been the woman's perfume. The dashboard clock didn't even read
one AM yet.

She pulled up outside my house and I looked out through the window. Dark fence.
Dark flower bushes, half dead and rotting in their rows. Home. I should've been
relieved, but I wasn't. I was filled with a feeling of vast emptiness and I was
afraid that the feeling was never going to go away.

I looked at the woman. She was watching me sympathetically and she gave me a
small smile. I felt like I should thank her for the ride, but if I opened my
mouth I might've thrown up. So I just reached for the doorhandle.

"Honey?"

I turned back to her. She sighed sadly.

"I'm very sorry," she said. "I'm not sure what happened, but I know what
Victoria is like. And I know what Alice is like. If you remember, I tried to
warn you that she may not be all that she seems."

I nodded. "I know," I said.

She sighed again and looked out of the windshield. Then she looked at me and
gave me a strange smile. "Did you know that I used to be one of Alice's
lovers?"

It was so unexpected that I felt a flicker of curiosity. "No," I said, shaking
my head.

Her smile turned fond and remembering. "It's true," she said. "I used to be
married to her at one point, just like Victoria and Rosalie. She was everything
to me. Absolutely everything."

I looked at her. I'd thought she was straight and she certainly didn't look bi.
"What happened?" I asked.

She sighed once more, looking out the windshield. "I don't know, exactly," she
said. "I'm still not sure anything has happened. I still love her, certainly.
More than a daughter. But over time I realized that she isn't as perfect as she
wants to be. That deep down she's… well, she's very damaged."

She said the last part very delicately. I remembered the things the redhead had
said tonight. That Alice's heart was empty. That no matter how much she wants
to love me she never will. That she was a walking husk. Could those thing's
possibly be true?

I blinked at the woman, suddenly desperate for the truth, and asked: "How?"

But she only shook her head. "I'm not sure exactly," she said. "These things
are hard even for me to understand. Believe it or not, I'm still quite young.
Only a little older than your own mother. But Alice…I'm not even sure how old
she really is. None of us really know, not even Carlisle. All I know is that
she's been struggling with some very powerful demons for a very long time. And
sometimes the demon's win."

I sat there silently, feeling waves of cold wash over me. It was so hard to
believe. Alice, sweet and adorable little Alice. I'd always felt that she
wanted to love me more than she actually did, but I never thought—

"Victoria is one of those demons," the woman went on. "Jane is another. They've
known Alice far longer than I have, and I really have no right to judge them or
interfere in their relationships, but sometimes…sometimes I wish they'd just go
away and leave her alone. She's a sweet girl, she really is, but…"

I watched her. She seemed to be struggling with a memory and then she shook her
head.

"Well," she said, "this is all useless." She turned to me and gave me another
sympathetic smile. "For what it's worth, Bella, I'm very sorry for everything
that you've been through. For a while you were a very good influence on her.
She was happier, more stable. But after what happened with Victoria…"

I bowed my head.

"But I don't blame you for that," the woman rushed to reassure me. "Victoria
was wrong to do what she did and Alice was wrong for flaunting you to her. In
the end, I think…I think you were little more than a pawn. To both of them,
maybe."

I blinked back tears. "Did Alice ever really love me?" I asked in a small
voice.

The question seemed to take her aback and even I could see her response was
only to make me feel better. "Well, yes," she said. "I think she did. She tried
very hard to treat you properly. And she succeeded, for a time. She was a
little over-amorous, perhaps, but she meant well. She wanted to make you
happy."

I nodded. "Yeah," I murmured.

"But you have to understand how difficult it is for her," the woman went on.
"Vampires experience a myriad of sensations that ordinary people couldn't even
begin to comprehend." She paused, as if to frame the words. "The bloodlust,"
she said softly. "It sings to us. Whispers evil things in our ears. Deadens our
empathy. Makes us feel things we would never otherwise feel." A sardonic smile
curved her lips. "That's why it's so hard for a vampire to maintain a healthy
relationship. After all, not many women have respect for emotions like Need To
Fuck, and Enjoying Biting."

I looked at her. "It really is a curse, isn't it?"

I was surprised by her response. She turned to me and smiled, a warm and full
smile that displayed her fangs, and then she leaned to me slightly and placed a
hand on my leg. "Yes," she whispered huskily. "But such a lovely curse,
wouldn't you agree?"

My heart stopped. But I wasn't afraid. I got the impression that she'd
deliberately avoided provoking my pity so that I could see what vampires really
were. And I saw. Her eyes were so warm and beautiful. And yet completely empty.
She smiled when she saw that I understood and removed her hand from my leg.

"You'd better go inside, honey," she said. "You'll speak to Alice sooner or
later. I'm sure she'll have some explanation prepared in order to soothe your
feelings and coerce you back into some kind of relationship. In addition to her
other charms, she's also a very nice liar."

I was too numb to feel much hurt or betrayal at this. I just nodded and flashed
a brittle smile. "Thanks for the ride."

She nodded. "You're welcome," she said. "And once again; I'm very sorry."

I had my hand on the doorhandle, but I turned back for a moment. Her expression
was a perfect mask of sympathy, but that's all it was; a mask. I studied her
for a second, and said: "You don't mean it, though, do you?"

She dropped her eyes and smiled. "No," she said. "I suppose I don't." She
lifted her smile to me and really did seem genuine. "Goodnight, honey. Sleep
well."

I gave her a quick nod and got out the car. She waited until I'd gotten inside
and then I heard the car drive away. She was a nice woman, really. Hard to
believe it was mostly fake.

I crept upstairs and I was relieved when I heard mom's snoring coming from her
room. After all, it would've been difficult to explain where I'd been. I wasn't
even sure myself. My girlfriend had shown up in the middle of the night and
taken me to confront the sister of hers with whom I'd cheated before breaking
down into tears and eating her out in the dirt. Well. My relationship had never
been particularly healthy, but tonight it seemed to have taken a hard turn to
disturbing. School tomorrow was going to be fun. Can't wait for biology.

I crawled into bed, tired but unable to sleep. It was all too much, too
complicated. How was all this going to affect my life? I felt sick just
thinking about it. I shook my head in the dark. I still couldn't believe that
Alice was going to forgive me. She had even warned the redhead to stay away
from me. She crumbled in the end, but she had been determined to stay with me
and make it work. I didn't care what the redhead said. I didn't believe Alice
was broken. I didn't believe she was damaged, either. Alice was perfect. She
was the prettiest, cutest, most beautiful girl I'd ever met.

I sighed and realized that I still loved her. I didn't blame her for what
happened with the redhead. She'd been in tears as she did it and I knew exactly
what the redhead was like. But why Alice? What kind of relationship had they
had in the past that would make her break down like that? God, that redhead was
such a whore. How did she manage it? How could someone be so slutty and so
confident at the same time? I just couldn't get that image out of my head. When
she'd flicked open her legs and revealed that she had no panties on. I didn't
blame Alice for going down on her. I would've done it myself if anyone had
asked.

I was beginning to feel a dull excitement build in my belly and pretty soon I
was touching myself. I remembered Jane and Leah in the living room, just
fucking as if it was nothing. I remembered the kiss between Rosalie and
Victoria, that slow long kiss, before Rosalie dutifully departed to wait
upstairs. I pictured her waiting in bed with her legs open, dressed in black
underwear, playing with herself. I remembered Victoria on the grass with her
dress hiked and her pussy exposed. I remembered Esme in the car, touching my
leg, and I wondered if I could've fucked her if I let her.

And I remembered Alice. I remembered how she'd attacked the redhead's pussy so
desperately and I thought about how hot it would've been to join in and pretty
soon I came.

I sighed in the dark and turned to face the window. A lovely curse, huh? Yeah.
Well. It sounded kind of cool to me.

—

***** Chapter 13 *****
—

Chapter 13:

—

I'd only been asleep for a few hours when my alarm went off. I reached out and
slapped it off, but I didn't get up. There didn't seem to be much point in it.
Alice had gone back to her ex. Suddenly the world didn't seem quite as worth
living in, so I did the next best thing to slashing myself in the bathtub; I
went back to sleep.

Mom woke me sometime later.

"Bella," she said, her voice somewhat snappish. "You slept through you're
alarm. Up, up, up!"

"In a minute," I muttered.

"Now, missy. You're going to be late. Your little friend's going to be here to
pick you up any minute."

I rolled away and pulled up the covers. "I don't want to go to school."

"Are you sick?"

"No."

Mom grabbed the covers and pulled them off. Good thing I'd changed back into my
sleep clothes last night. Any other night I might've been naked. "Then up you
get," she said, trying to be cheerful, "up, up, up. You've missed too much
school lately."

I snorted under my breath. And she didn't even know I'd skipped yesterday.
There was so much she didn't know about me. She didn't know anything, really.

"I don't care," I mumbled, not moving, laying there with my back to her. I
didn't see her face darken, but I heard it in her voice. "What was that?"

I sighed and sat up sleepily. "Nothing," I muttered listlessly, not looking at
her. "I'm up."

Mom had her hands on her hips and she studied me for a second. Who knows what I
looked like? I had clothes on, at least. "Your cereal's on the table," she said
finally. "Come on, let's go. I have to get to work."

I went for a shower, for form's sake, and got changed and ate my soggy cereal.
Mom was gone by then, and I went back to bed. I was mildly worried that the
school might call her, but it didn't seem like such a big deal compared to my
other problems. I half hoped they would call her. I hoped mom would find out
and get angry and force me to tell her everything. She deserved to know what
kind of daughter she had, and she certainly wasn't going to hear it from me
voluntarily.

At first I couldn't sleep. Depression was rolling in my stomach like an egg,
and it was weird because I hardly knew what I was supposed to be depressed
about. My girlfriend had left me for her severely psychotic ex, but was that
worth getting upset over considering that said girlfriend is a few fries short
of a happy meal herself? Strangely, I thought it was. She had always made me
happy while we were together and I had loved her. Damaged, broken, whatever.
Did it matter? She still had a nice ass. Maybe that's why I was so depressed.
An ass like that is truly a once in a lifetime thing.

Really, it was beautiful. And now that I was thinking about it, it became even
harder to fall asleep. Fortunately, I knew the perfect remedy, and without much
self-loathing at all I snaked a hand up my top and another in my shorts. I
pictured Alice's ass in different kinds of panties, thongs and briefs, bikini
or boyleg, different colors, white, red, black, different materials, lace,
silk, spandex, picturing her posing and showing me, and me behind her, touching
and taking them off. I fell asleep pretty much immediately when I was done.

I had no idea if Alice came by to pick me up, but I didn't hear any cars and
there was no knock on the door. I was up by lunch time, and I spent the rest of
the day watching TV with my notebook on my lap. I was behind in my homework,
but that's not what I was doing. I was composing a poem to try to capture my
current feelings for Alice, but the page was mostly blank and so far I hadn't
even managed to figure out what my feelings were.

I missed her, I was pretty certain about that. Life without her seemed
relatively unbearable. But was I hurt or betrayed? I wasn't sure. Should I be?
She ate her ex out right in front of me, which did seem pretty despicable on
the surface, but when you consider how she'd been crying and trying not to, it
was easy to feel sorry for her. Obviously, her attachment to the redhead was
slightly less than healthy and hardly something she should be blamed for.
Victoria was a manipulative woman and, frankly, who wouldn't want to spend
eternity as her submissive sex slave? I'm not saying it's the kind of lifestyle
I'd embrace personally, but I can understand how it would appeal to others.

I didn't have any right to judge Alice, anyway. I didn't cheat in front of her
face, maybe, but I didn't have the excuse of being cursed with insatiable blood
lust and multiple centuries of unnamed trauma, either. I tapped my pen on my
notebook, looking down at the page where there were only a few lines, all
squiggled out. Maybe I'm just stupid. Maybe that's why I can't think of
anything. I sighed. Then I put the pad down and went to get something to eat.

I began to get nervous before mom got home, but the school hadn't called her.
She gave me a hug and asked if I had any homework. I told her no, only a mild
lie compared to my other assorted deceits. Hardly even an omission, really.

Tomorrow morning I really had no choice; I had to go to school. I had no idea
how I was going to bare seeing Alice, but I couldn't afford to risk another day
off. I got changed and spent a few minutes deciding whether or not to wear my
collar. The latest bite marks had faded days ago, and if Alice had gone back to
Victoria, I wasn't likely to get bitten again. Ever. But I put it on, anyway.
It was symbolic of Alice's ownership over me. Alice didn't take that ownership
as seriously as Victoria seemed to, but my heart still belonged to Alice, and I
had a feeling it would for quite a long time. Besides, the collar always did
look cool on me.

I waited on the sidewalk for a long time, but she never came to pick me up.
This seemed like a bad sign for some reason. I couldn't delude myself into
thinking we were still a couple somehow, but it hurt that she'd just drop me
like this. After what happened the other night you'd think she might find the
time to apologize for fucking another woman right in front of my eyes and maybe
even clarify what my continued role in her life was. Were we now friends? Were
we cold acquaintances? Did she hate me? Did I hate her?

I had no idea and I probably wasn't going to find any answers standing on the
sidewalk. The weather had gloomed up again, and I found that strangely
comforting. I'd always found the sun a little disarming. Maybe I'm a little
vampiric myself. I don't have any blood lust, but I've got plenty of other
lusts, some equally disturbing. Then again, vampires aren't sensitive to sun,
are they? Oh. I guess I'm just a pale slut, then.

I was late to school and missed homeroom. I felt some anxiety at this, but
overall I was more concerned with my eventual encounter with Alice. I glimpsed
Jane in the halls once or twice—she was in the same grade as me and Alice—but
no sign of Alice herself. History was the first class of the day that we were
supposed to have together, but she wasn't there. I took a desk in the corner
and waited, but she never came. This was something I hadn't anticipated, and I
spent the entire class in a fain fever of despair, staring down at my textbook,
not listening to the lecture, not taking notes. Just staring.

The bad feeling got even worse when I walked into the cafeteria for lunch. The
Cullen table was empty. Could it be possible that they'd left town? Why would
they do that? Were they worried I call the cops and turn them in now that I
knew what they really were? That hadn't even occurred to me. I'd look like a
fucking psycho if I told anyone, and besides; they weren't so bad really. They
don't kill people, at least, and that was the important thing. So what if they
seduce innocent young women and drink their blood? It happened to me and I
wasn't complaining, although innocent is relative, I suppose.

But no, they had to be here. Jane was here and Leah was never far from Jane.
And sure enough when I scanned the line I saw them both with their trays. Leah
was in black as always, black skirt and black top, and Jane was wearing tan
cargos and a limegreen tubetop. They got their lunch and moved on toward their
usual table

I sighed and approached the lunch line. Maybe it was just Alice who was absent.
And maybe Victoria and Rosalie, too. If the other night was any indication,
they seemed to have a lot of make-up sex to work through. I moved along the
line, my anxiety growing. I couldn't believe Alice was avoiding me like this.
Where was I supposed to sit? I couldn't sit next to Lauren and I didn't want to
sit by myself like a loser. I looked toward the Cullen table. Jane and Leah had
noticed me and they were looking over, both smirking. Then they turned to each
other and conferred among themselves. Well. It was nice that my emotional pain
pleased them, but I wasn't really moved to wave or return their smiles. I
turned back to the line and shuffled along, head hung. I missed Alice. I really
did.

I got my lunch and I was at the end of the line when I noticed that Leah had
risen from her table and came sauntering over. Her strut turned heads at nearby
tables, and I stood uncertainly. It was the first time that she'd ever
approached me of her own freewill and I wondered what she wanted. She wore a
smile and she regarded me with her usual friendliness, tinged with a slight
sympathy.

"Hey," she said. "How you holding up?"

Interesting question. How, indeed, was I holding up under the emotional
wreckage left in the ruined wake of one the intensely intimate relationships I
could imagine being in? I was masturbating rather often, but I used to do that
before I'd even met Alice, so I doubted it was symptom of some inner turmoil. I
was depressed and missing school, though, so it's not like I'm totally
disaffected.

I gave her a shrug and replied somewhat honestly: "I don't know."

She smiled with her hands on her hips, looking down as if she didn't want me to
see the smile. But I saw it. "Tell me about it," she said, glancing around the
cafeteria to avoid my face. "Rough break ups are the worst."

I nodded. I could tell that she cared absolutely nothing for me and my
feelings, but I thought it was nice she made the effort. I'm pretty sure
ordinary people fake most of their sympathy, too. "Yeah," I said. "It sucks."

My reply seemed to fascinate her. She looked me over for a second, a vampire's
look, calm and evaluating, and then she smiled and motioned with a tilt of her
head toward the Cullen table. "Come on," she said. "Come sit with me and Jane."

Then she turned and sauntered away without waiting to see if I'd follow. I did
follow, of course. A rational person would've tried to distance herself from
these demons as much as possible, or at least hesitate, but I just hurried to
catch up. I had nowhere else to sit, anyway, and if I hesitated at all it was
only to glance at Leah's ass. She was no Alice, but that was just emotional
attachment; ass is ass.

I sat down, only slightly awkward to be dining at such an esteemed table—I was
getting glances of awe from all over the cafeteria—and I gave Jane a
perfunctory smile. This was the girl who'd spread rumors about me and partly
caused one of the most nightmarish break ups imaginable. But she was letting me
sit with her, so I said: "Hey."

She smirked. "S'up," she said. "Nice to see you up and about. I thought you'd
of hung yourself by now. You know it's over with you and Alice, right?"

Leah gave Jane a look, but she was smiling. "Jane, come on," she said. "She's
been through enough."

"I know, I know," Jane grinned, and slapped my hand playfully. "I'm only
kidding, honey. Seriously, though; do you want to talk about it? I like hearing
about other people's pain."

I shook my head. "I'm alright," I said, then I glanced at the empty chairs.
"Where's Alice?"

"Oh, she'd be in Paris, by now."

"Paris?"

"They got on a plane the other night," Leah told me. "Alice, Vicky, and Rose.
Didn't even pack."

I frowned. So while I was languishing in Forks with my shredded heart and
cooling pussy, she was in a penthouse in Paris getting fucked by two of the
most sexy women in existence? Was it wrong to be jealous of that? Either way,
it seemed like a fine cure for a messy break up.

"Hardly said goodbye, either," Jane added. "Alice is like that. Sometimes she
just has to get away from everything. Get her head on straight. Too bad she's
taking her problem's with her. Then again, she's never been that bright."

I unwrapped my sandwich. But I didn't think I was planning on eating it. My
stomach was turning and the notion of Alice and Victoria and Rosalie all in the
same place with so many unknown sexual variables between them had piqued my
curiosity—and other things. "What's the deal with those three?" I asked.

"Hard to say," Leah said. "It changes all the time."

"Alice changes all the time," Jane clarified. "Vicky and Rose are the same as
they ever were."

Leah snorted. "Ain't that the truth."

"Basically, Vicky is a hardcore dom and Alice is a hardcore sub," Jane
explained. "And Rose, well…Rose is so fixated on Alice that she'll do anything
to please her—even sub to Vicky."

"Alice has always had some very extreme ideas about romance," Leah said.
"That's why she's always been so attracted to Vicky, because with Vicky, she
can indulge in a kind of love that most people aren't even capable of. A kind
of love that's complete and absolute. With someone who'll push her to the
absolute limits of devotion, right or wrong. And part of her really responds to
that."

"But at the same time," Jane added, "she's aware that submission isn't really
love at all, it's just submission. That's why she gets confused sometimes.
She's never been in love before, and in the end, she simply has no idea what
it's supposed to feel like. Her relationship with Vicky seems to be the closest
thing she can manage."

I was still holding my sandwich, unbitten. I looked between them, a strange
feeling in my chest. "So she's… never been in love at all?"

Leah shrugged. "Not any conventional kind of love, at least. The closest thing
she can manage is obsession or possessiveness. Personally, I think she's just
picky. She thinks love is supposed to be perfect, but sometimes love is just
love."

"Yeah," Jane said, grinning. "Sex is better than love, anyway."

I couldn't argue with the wisdom of that, but I sighed and shook my head. I
still hadn't bitten my sandwich. Maybe I should've been more moved or disturbed
by these revelations about my former girlfriend, but I was too wrapped up in my
own feelings. I put my sandwich down and sighed again. "I just can't believe
she never really loved me," I said.

It was meant as a bid for pity, but I must've forgot who I was talking to. Jane
giggled. "Really?" she said. "I can believe it. You suck."

Leah gave her another look, again without much reproach in it. "Jane," she
said. "Come on."

"Hey, she was asking for it," Jane grinned. "She was wide open for that one."

I'd always had a thing for pretty bullies, and I couldn't help the slight smirk
that curved my lips as I attempted to glare at her. "Fuck you," I said.

Jane giggled again. "Ooh, the kitty has claws," she said, leaning on her elbows
to give me a steady stare. "But does she know how to scratch?"

I thought that was supposed to be flirty somehow, because her dark blue eyes
were smoldering into mine and her voice was dripping with sexuality. I looked
at Leah awkwardly, a subtle tingle between my legs, and Leah just smiled and
shook her head. "Don't listen to her," she said. "She's crazy."

"Yeah, I'm nuts," Jane giggled. "But listen, I really am sorry about this Alice
stuff. I know what it's like to lose a girl who puts out as much as she does.
In fact, I know what it's like to lose Alice herself."

I was surprised at that, even though maybe I shouldn't have been. If Alice had
been with Victoria, Rosalie, and Esme, I guess it was likely that she'd been
with all of them at some point. Maybe even the doctor guy as well. Alice seemed
to be pretty lezzy, but I suppose all us girls go through an am-I-really-gay
relationship at some point. Especially if you were raised in a era before
lesbianism had even been invented. Besides, the dude does look like a chick
from some angles. Very slender, very pretty. If I was ever uncertain about my
own orientation, he'd probably be the kind of guy I go to for clarification, as
well.

But Jane? Talk about a cute couple. Two small little demonic pixies, one
blonde, one black. I wondered if she had any cellphone pictures of the two of
them together, but cell phones probably hadn't been invented when they'd been
dating. Dating itself probably hadn't been invented.

"You've dated her, too?" I asked.

Jane waved a hand flippantly. "Oh, honey, Alice has dated everyone," she said.
"She never had high standards. Aside from me, of course."

"But Vicky's the only one she's really held on to all these years," Leah told
me. "Or maybe it was Vicky who held on to her. Either way, they can't seem to
stay apart. Until you came along, that is."

I felt flicker in my chest at the suggestion that I'd come between them and
looked at her curiously. "What do you mean?"

Leah smirked for a second, as if wondering if she should tell me. Then she
sighed and went on. "Alice was never exclusive for Victoria," she said. "She
used to date humans on the side. Mostly for blood, but not only for blood. She
liked the companionship, too. The normalcy. Even if it was fake, she liked to
pretend. But no matter who she dated, she'd always go home to Victoria. Every
single time."

"Until, of course," Jane said, "she met you."

I didn't point at my chest and flutter my eyelashes, but I did smile. "Me?" I
mean, really; me? Victoria had mentioned that Alice had abandoned her to go
fuck me, but I never figured I was a special case.

Jane grinned. "Uh huh," she said. "Alice was crazy about you. That day she met
you, well, she just flipped the fuck out. You probably noticed how much she
liked you when she crawled through your window wearing nothing but a coat and a
smile. That was a pretty big risk, you know. After all, she had no way of
knowing if you'd simply sigh and spread em, or if you'd scream and call the
cops like a regular person. She had no idea about your dreams, but she was too
messed up by the thirst to care. She might've raped you if you resisted."

It was a symptom of my disturbed state of mind that not being raped by a
thirst-crazed vampiress seemed like a missed opportunity. Stupid dreams. It
would've been so awesome if I had no idea who she was or why she was there.

Leah rolled her eyes at that last comment then turned to me. "You were
different right from the beginning," she said. "Most of her dates never even
found out she's a vampire. And the ones that did were pretty quick to back out.
But you accepted her so readily, so willingly, that she began to believe you
were something different. Something special."

A soulmate. That's what she'd thought I'd been. I looked down at my sandwich,
but it didn't make me feel better. I remembered those early days with Alice.
All her carefulness, all her reassurances about how love takes time and how we
should take it slow. All her talk about fate and destiny and soulmates. She had
been so honest, so sincere. And all of it a lie.

But was it really a lie if she'd believed it herself?

I didn't know. But at least she never set out to betray me. Maybe it was all
just a fantasy or a delusion to her—or even just a dream—but at least she
hadn't been deliberately trying to hurt me. She wasn't evil; just messed up.

"She even stopped fucking Vicky and Rose for you," Jane said. "That's how
serious she was."

I looked up. "And then I…"

"Fucked Vicky," Jane said. "Yeah. She tried to look past it, but it was kind of
like a double betrayal, you know? Not only did you cheat, but you did it with
the woman who practically owns her. After all, her feelings for Vicky didn't go
away just because she met someone else. She suppressed them, sure, but we're
talking about four centuries of ardent subbing. That kind of thing doesn't go
away in a matter of weeks."

"She tried to forgive you and make it work," Leah said, "but the fairytale was
pretty much over as soon as you cheated on her. Until then Alice had been
certain that you loved her more than anything. But how could you love her so
much if you enjoyed being with someone else? Vicky practically forced you,
sure, but if you were Alice's soulmate—if you were designed especially for
Alice and Alice alone—you would've fought against it until your last breath."
She smiled and let out a small laugh, as if it was a pretty silly idea, in
hindsight. "At least, that's how she saw it," she added. "Deep down."

Jane snorted. "Total hypocrite, of course," she said. "Just because she managed
to stop fucking around for a few weeks after she met you, doesn't change what
she is. She would've slipped with Vicky eventually. But don't get me wrong,"
she quickly added, "I'm not defending you. You're a horrid slut, no question.
But still. Alice is worse, IMO."

I blinked at her. She had just insulted me, insulted my girlfriend, and
insulted my relationship. But that wasn't what confused me. "Did you just say
IMO?" I asked.

Leah heaved a longsuffering sigh. "Wait till she says LOL," she said. "She's
like a walking talking text message sometimes."

"Hey, I adapt with the times," Jane declared. "In the future we're all going to
be talking in acronyms, mark my words. And women are going to be the dominant
sex, too. Trust me. Now that guns are invented, it's only a matter of time till
we figure out how to use em. And god help men when we do."

Leah gave her a glance that seem to doubt her sanity, and then turned to me,
swinging us back to topic. "In a way, Jane's right," she said. "About Alice, I
mean. After you cheated, she tried to rearrange her beliefs into something more
liberal, but in the end, she needed the relationship to be perfect. Once you
were blemished, it was bound to crumble. So try not to feel guilty about the
whole Vicky thing. In many ways, I think the cheating itself was incidental.
She probably would've backed out at any sign of imperfection."

"Yeah," Jane giggled. "So I guess she never saw your ass, because that thing is
worse than any amount of cheating. Ever heard of an exercise bike?"

I tried to ignore her, but I did feel a flicker of insecurity. I know I'm no
vampire, but I like to think my ass is okay. But I knew Jane was a malicious
bitch, so I consoled myself with the possibility that she was lying, and turned
to Leah. "But why did she even bother?" I asked. "Did she really think I'd be
okay with all this? With you guys? You're, like, the worst people I've ever
met."

I said that last part with a bit of heat, but neither sister seemed offended.
Leah shrugged. "She was hopeful," she said. "Or delusional. She wanted to
believe that destiny would see her through. That everything would be happily
ever after. Like I said, she thought you were special."

Jane snorted and looked me over haughtily. "Pretty stupid, really," she said.
"No offence, sweetheart, but if there's one thing in the world you don't look
like, it's a bunch of specialness walking around."

Again, I ignored her, or tried to. I'd always known I wasn't special, but I
hated to hear it out loud. I turned to Leah, since obviously she was the only
one worth talking to. "But why doesn't she just leave Victoria?" I asked. "You
know, for good? I mean, if she wants to be with someone else…"

"It's not that simple."

"Why not?"

Leah chuckled, as if it was funny. "Because, deep down, Alice is just as bad as
Vicky. Look, don't get the wrong idea about this, honey. I'm not trying to tell
you they're some special kind of soulmates, or anything like that. They're just
a couple of twisted chicks who like to fuck, that's all. Alice could leave her,
sure. But deep down she knows no one will fuck her like Vicky does. She might
stray from time to time, but she'll always return to her mistress."

I looked down at my sandwich, still uneaten. I shook my head and said: "I'd
rather be alone than with someone like that."

Jane giggled. "Alice would rather be with anyone than alone," she said, then
smirked. "Even a rag like you."

Even a rag like me. It was true. I should've been horrified at all this, but
all I felt was a strange pity. I felt sorry for her. How many times had she had
her heart broken? How many times had she struggled for decency and fallen right
back into depravity? I didn't know, but most of all, I was sorry that I was the
one she'd fallen for.

If only she'd been honest. If I'd known how much the relationship meant to her,
I would've tried so much harder. I would've fought against that red-haired
whore to my very last breath, just like Leah said. I really would've. But it
was too late now. Alice's brief bout of love at first sight was totally
wasted—on me.

I'd always known that I wasn't good enough for Alice, but in that moment I
realized how much she truly did deserve someone better. Someone stronger.
Someone who could've loved her, helped her, saved her. She needed an angel, and
what she ended up with was me; a dumb slut who did nothing but fuck her a few
times and destroy her dreams. Boy, I really do suck.

I sighed and looked up. "Is she coming back?" I asked.

Jane smiled, guessing my thoughts instantly and no doubt preparing something
mean. "Of course," she said. "Why?"

I was wary. "Just wondering."

"Yeah right," Jane grinned. "You still want her, don't you?"

I felt like I was supposed to deny this, so I frowned and said: "No."

Jane chuckled. "Well, we'll see," she said. "She'll be back eventually, and if
history's any guide, I doubt she'll be willing to give up on your skinny ass
just yet. She oughta get a couple more gallons out of you, at least."

I felt a flicker of excitement at that. The momma-vamp had mentioned that Alice
might try to coerce me into some kind of relationship at some point, and to be
honest, it probably wouldn't be that hard. Alice was damaged, sure, but I was
no model of mental health, either. We'd both made mistakes, but maybe if she
gave me a second chance, an opportunity to make things right… Maybe I could be
the woman she needed me to be. Maybe it was possible.

"Aww, don't get all sulky," Jane said, slapping at my hand playfully. She
must've mistook my deep and meaningful introspection for sullenness; a fine
line between the two, usually. But it wasn't everyday the blonde demoness
deigned to apologize, so I looked up. "Listen," she said, patting my hand,
"don't take it personally, okay? It's just the way I am. I mean, it's not like
I actually dislike you. I like teasing you, but I could have just as much fun
fucking you. Honestly."

She was still covering my hand. And looking at me for my reaction. I glanced
between the two of them, a faint queasiness turning my stomach, a strange
brooding between my legs. I should've pulled away my hand, but I didn't. "Would
you really fuck me?" I asked.

She knew she had me. She smirked, eyes sparkling. "Sure," she said sweetly.
"Why?"

My mouth was dry all the sudden. I shrugged casually, a blush slowly smothering
my face. "It sounds better than teasing," I said.

"Oooh," Jane giggled, and then she shuffled her chair closer, glanced around
the cafeteria circumspectly, and reached under the table. I felt her fingers
press flush against my crotch and I swallowed. Leah was smiling and shaking her
head at her girlfriend's antics, and Jane eyed me hotly, applying a little
pressure against the front of my pants. "Would it be cool if Leah joined in?"

The cafeteria seemed to be buzzing. The room seemed to tilt as I turned my
head. I looked at Leah, and she looked back with her vampire eyes, dark, sexy,
beyond all judgment and jealousy. Nothing in them at all but a desire to fuck
and draw blood. Ten seconds ago I been wishing for a second chance with Alice,
to make things better, to be the honest and faithful woman she needed. Maybe I
should've tried to get some practice at that, but looking into Leah's dark and
sexy eyes, I realized that I wasn't ready for that kind of
commitment—especially if it was only practice.

"Sure," I said.

—

Lunch was almost over, but biology was next, and I didn't mind skipping it.
Alice wouldn't be there, anyway.

They took me behind the science building, where we could be alone. It was out
of school bounds, but considering the circumstances, it was beyond me to feel
bad about violating such an important rule. Jane set me against the brick wall,
grinned, and kissed me. She was the third girl I'd ever kissed and it was an
exhilarating experience. This was a girl who'd teased me, tormented me, spread
rumors about me. And now her tongue was in my mouth. It almost made my head
pop.

Then it was Leah's turn, and this was the one I was looking forward to. I'd
always liked Leah, and my heart almost throbbed out of my chest as I tilted my
face up to hers. Her kiss was slower than her girlfriend's, stronger, more
methodical. Jane started rubbing the front of my pants and soon Leah broke the
kiss so we could discuss what we were going to do. Jane was very communicative
about the whole thing. She seemed to enjoy hearing that I wanted it.

They decided to do me first, and I certainly didn't object. They took turns
kissing me until I was dizzy and then they started pulling aside my clothes to
expose parts of me. I was wearing a black tee and loose bluejeans, and pretty
soon my top was pushed up over my breasts and my pants unbuttoned and fallen
around my boots. If any teacher came along I would've died from embarrassment,
but this area was enclosed on three sides with high brick walls and it was
barren of everything but weeds and a dumpster. So unless there was someone
hiding in the dumpster with a camera and a dark agenda, we were fairly
isolated.

Soon my bra was pushed up about my collar and they were each squeezing a
breast. Jane inquired if I'd like for them to be sucked, and I was so
breathless I could only nod. They leaned to my breasts with their mouths, one
each, and if I was breathless then, I was on the verge of an asthma attack as I
watched two different pairs of lips sucking at my nipples. My breasts were very
sensitive, and I was getting very close by now. I might've been enjoying it too
much, because Jane was soon demanding some attention of her own. I obliged by
feeling her up and kissing her throat. Then Leah pulled me toward her,
wordlessly, and I almost tripped as I went to kiss her, hobbled as I was in my
jeans. Leah's top was pulled over her breasts as well, and her breasts were as
large as mine, and while I felt them up I felt Jane's hands on my ass and
between my legs. She's said at lunch that I didn't have a nice ass, but hands
don't lie, and I was flattered at the change of heart.

I was so turned on by now that I was having difficulty standing up. Jane
laughed at my "little girl" eagerness, and asked me how I wanted them to do it.
But I didn't know. My head didn't seem to be working correctly. Leah could tell
I was struggling with the situation and suggested, quite kindly, that maybe she
should finger me while Jane goes down on me. This was agreeable, as I expressed
with a breathless nod. Jane muttered about going down on a troll like me, but
she lowered my panties and went down all the same, while Leah pushed two
fingers inside me and placed her mouth over mine. I almost short-circuited. I
could feel Jane's tongue licking at my clit. I could feel Leah's tongue in my
mouth and one hand squeezing my tits. I could feel those fingers inside me and
my eyes were rolling behind their lids as I clenched down with my vagina and
moaned in rhythm. It wasn't the elegant way to make love, standing straddle-
legged in a barren lot with your clothes shoved around to expose your naughty
places, but it was effective, and I almost fell over from the force of my
climax.

It took me a few minutes to recover and I had to sit down. I managed to pull up
my jeans, but I didn't bother zipping them. I touched a hand to my head and
listened to Jane tease me about how easy I was. Leah sat down beside me, still
mostly clothed, and put an arm around my shoulders. She asked me if I was okay,
and even if she didn't mean it, it felt great nonetheless. She then rose and
offered me a hand to help me up. I stood up, my jeans falling, and Jane
giggled. I went to pull them back up, but Jane just grabbed me and kissed me.

Then it was their turn. After some brief discussion on the subject, it became
plain that I was willing to do pretty much anything, and after we'd settled on
a couple of particulars, I got down on my knees on the concrete floor among the
weeds and litter and ate them out, one after the other, while they made out
with each other and stroked each other's breasts.

I did Jane first. She was wearing pink cotton boyshorts, so similar to what
Alice might've worn that I was hit with a bolt of nostalgia, and put some love
into it. Leah was next, and again, I felt an additional excitement. I really
liked Leah, and I liked going down on her so much that I was almost jealous
when Jane inserted two fingers and began pumping them. I had to lick around
them and while Leah did respond to my attention to her clit she seem to respond
even more to Jane's thrusting.

And finally it was all over. Or so I thought. They did me one more time, just
for fun, since I'd come so easily. Jane sucked my tits while Leah fingered me
from behind, and yes; I did come very easily. After that, it really was over,
and we took a few minutes to correct our clothes and straighten our hair. I
felt very strange in the wake of the experience, but not really a bad feeling.
I knew I was nothing like them, nothing so beautiful or confident, but as we
stood around grinning and quipping about the whole thing, I felt a weird kind
of camaraderie, and I really wished we could all be friends. They seemed like
nice people when they let you fuck them.

"Whew," Jane said, "that was refreshing. Nothing like a vigorous group-fuck to
get over the ex, eh Bella?"

I grinned, but I didn't answer.

Jane smiled and approached me. She smoothed down my top, as if to correct
wrinkles, and looked into my face. "In any case," she said, "listen up. The
first one's free, but if you want to do it again sometime, you'd better be
willing to put out with a little something little extra." She smiled so I could
see her perfect white fangs poke her glossy pink lip. "If you know what I
mean."

I knew what she meant and I felt a shiver. Fear or excitement, it didn't seem
to matter. I might've let them bite me right there, simply because I'm an idiot
and Alice doesn't love me anymore, but then Leah stepped forward with her smile
and pulled Jane away from me.

"Don't listen to her," Leah said to me. "We've got other options for blood, and
we'd be happy to fuck you again sometime just for fun."

I remembered that vile redhead had once said something similar, but from the
lips of Leah it seemed so much more gracious and flattering. But I didn't get a
chance to respond to that one, either.

Jane scoffed. "Maybe you would," she said, "but I've got better options for
sex, too. Who knows, maybe I'll give little Lauren a call. I'm sure she'd love
to finally let out all that repression."

I smirked at Jane, but Leah regained my attention by leaning to catch my eyes.
"Seriously," she said. "It's not everyday we meet a human who's cool with what
we are. If you wanna hang some time, even as friends, just give us a call. Like
Alice, we enjoy a bit of normalcy."

"I'm not giving her my number," Jane objected.

But Leah was already writing in the palm of my hand with a pen she'd taken from
her pocket. My hand tingled where she touched it and my eyes flickered over her
face, bewitched by how her dark hair fell over her dark eyes.

"Here's our numbers," she said. "Think about it, okay?"

I positively glowed. I'd always known Leah was awesome. I didn't deserve such
graciousness, but I wasn't about to spurn her generous offer of sex and
companionship, so I nodded, hoping my puppy-like eagerness wouldn't put her
off. "Okay," I said.

Jane snorted and took Leah's hand, dragging her away from me before she could
propose marriage. "Come on, let's get out of here," she said, and then turned
back to me. "And Bella?"

I'd been looking at their asses. I pretended I hadn't been. "Yeah?

Jane smirked. "You were crap."

I took a hit to my self-esteem, but it made me smile. I nodded to her, blushing
prettily. "Thanks."

Jane giggled, Leah rolled her eyes at her, and then they sauntered away, around
the corner of the science building and out of sight, taking their asses with
them.

I sighed and tried to get myself under control. I still felt weak and feverish,
but strangely hopeful too, as if the world really wasn't such a terrible place
after all. There was still one class left before the end of the day, but for a
while I just stood there in the barren lot behind the science building, doing
nothing but smiling and staring down at the phone numbers on my hand. Girl's do
stupid things on the rebound, but all in all, it really did seem like one of
the most intelligent decisions of my life.

—

I made it in time to my last class and I spent the rest of the day trying not
to sweat so the phone numbers wouldn't fade. I'd left my cell phone at home,
and I needed to keep them preserved until I put them in my speed dial. I had no
idea if I'd ever call them, but even the simple possession of such numbers
seemed cool beyond words. My palms sometimes got clammy when I was nervous, so
just to be safe, I reinked both numbers.

Today had been full of surprises, but I got another when I made my way out the
front gates after school. Leah was straddling her motorbike by the sidewalk,
obviously waiting for me. A swarm of boys were hovering about her, jostling and
grinning and talking about how awesome the bike was. She seemed to be flirting
with them, or at least, that's what it looked like from a distance. Leah seemed
to have a permanent flirtyness. With her black skirt and top, her cocky eyes,
and the sheer confidence with which she carried her body, she would've looked
like she was flirting with anyone she wasn't slapping. I could understand the
boys' fascination with her. After all, any girl who straddles a motorbike in a
black leather skirt has gotta be aware of how good she looks doing it.

But she lost interest in all the boys when she saw me. She tossed her chin and
called me over. I went over, acutely aware of the distinction. Leah handed me a
helmet and told me to get on the bike. Jane was apparently hanging out at a
friend's place, and since Alice wasn't here she figured she'd give me a ride
home. I contained the glow in my chest and put the helmet on, only feeling
slightly stupid. The boys were mostly seniors, jocks by the bulkiness of them,
and I didn't think any of them knew me. They might've seen me holding hands
with a girl around the school, though, because one or two of them goggled at us
as I climbed on behind Leah and wrapped my arms around her waist. After all,
any girl who lets a lesbian touch her must be a lesbian herself. A silly idea,
typically male, and yet grudgingly true, at least in this case.

Leah didn't wear a helmet because obviously she was a total badass and after
bidding farewell to her musclely admirers she hit the throttle and sped away.
When I looked over my shoulder they were all watching her go and they seemed to
sigh visibly.

I'd never been on a motorbike before, but my fear of disfiguring collisions was
offset slightly by how my whole front was pressed against Leah's back. Her hair
was fluttering in the wind and I had laid my face against her shoulder. Her
scent was swirling in my head and I tightened my grip, sighing softly. I could
feel the beginnings of a full blown crush forming in my chest, but this only
reminded me of Alice. Alice would look so hot on a bike. Hotter than Leah,
probably, although the warmth of Leah's back was certainly making my nipples
stiff. I guess my body wasn't quite as picky as my heart. The hum of the bike
between my legs seemed faintly erotic, too. I've really gotta try a vibrator
one of these days.

We got back to my place in less than ten minutes. I got off the bike and handed
back the helmet. Leah didn't put it on, she just stowed it behind her. I took a
breath and tried to find the words to thank her for her amazing kindness.

"Well, thanks for the ride," I said, and then I blushed and added: "And thanks
for, you know. At school."

Leah smirked and blipped the throttle. "Don't mention it, honey," she said.
"Take it easy, alright?"

I nodded and stepped back. God, she was so smooth. Smoother than the redhead,
even. At least Leah didn't have to go around seducing people. They were falling
at her feet naturally. Leah smiled at me, returned the nod, and then she
accelerated from the curb, reined the bike around, and roared down the street
at illegal speeds. I watched her go and heaved a sigh. Then I shook my head,
turned, and went inside.

Today had been fairly decent so far, considering my relationship was over and
my ex-girlfriend had fled to Paris to indulge her repressed slavishness with
the woman who engineered my downfall. School had been fine, Lauren had left me
alone, and I'd had sex with two chicks at once behind the science building. It
wasn't a perfect day, but a wise person takes the good with the bad, and all in
all I felt that I shouldn't really complain.

But when I walked into the kitchen and found my mom sitting at the table with
an empty mug and a dark expression, I had a feeling that the day was about to
get a whole hell of a lot worse.

"Mom," I said, knowing in my bones that something extremely bad was on it's
way. "Why're you home so early? Is everything okay?"

Her expression didn't change. "Sit down, Bella."

Yep. I'm dead.

I sat down, engulfed by a sudden dread. What had she found out? What did she
know?

She frowned at me, sadness in her eyes and plenty of anger, repressed for now,
but there. "Your homeroom teacher called me at the salon today," she said. "She
wanted to know if I was aware that you weren't at school yesterday. Or the day
before."

Fuck.

"Oh, yeah," I said, grasping for casualness. "I forgot to tell you. I wasn't
feeling well so I went back to bed."

Mom ignored that. "She also wanted to know if you'd be at school today, since
you didn't show up at homeroom."

"Yeah, I was a little late," I said, adding a slight chuckle. As if it was all
a misunderstanding and I was glad we cleared it up. "Alice didn't pick me up, I
had to walk."

Mom nodded as if that made sense, but I didn't miss the coldness in her eyes.
"She mentioned that as well," she said. "She also said you've been late before,
always with the same excuse. She suggested that maybe it isn't such a good idea
for you to catch a ride with your girlfriend."

There's really not much you can say when your mom confronts you with something
like this. Dimly it occurred to me to pass off the phrase girlfriend as a
friend who happens to be a girl, but mom wasn't done.

"Apparently it's common knowledge that you're a lesbian," she said, an edge of
hysteria creeping into her voice. Tears were building in her eyes. "She was
surprised that I hadn't heard. I'd suspected, of course—I mean, I'm not
blind—but I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. If it was true. I never
expected to find out like this."

I felt like shit. Not a novel sensation for a girl like me, but this was a
different kind of shit. This wasn't betraying Alice—this was betraying mom. My
best friend. The only person who'd ever really loved me, the only person who'd
ever really cared about me. The person I loved more than anyone. I felt my own
eyes tear up. "I'm sorry," I said.

"Sorry for what, Bella?" she demanded. "Skipping school? Lying to me?"

Actually, I was sorry for a whole lot more than that, but I felt it was best
not to get into specifics just yet. Mom might not have been in the most
sympathetic mood to hear about my regrets concerning the frequent debasement of
my body for the pleasure of amoral lesbian vampires. The regrets weren't
entirely genuine, anyway.

Mom looked at me tearfully. "I went through your room," she said, which isn't
something any teenager wants to hear, especially me. "I found underwear and a
picture of, of, that girl." She sniffed, too overcome to go on. She was
referring to my collection of thongs, which weren't really the kind of panties
appropriate to the nightlife a sixteen year old. The picture she was talking
about was a purse-sized naked photo of Alice that she'd given me as a surprise.
It had been photoshopped to add in love hearts and she'd been posed on her bed
with a fluffy pink teddy bear on her lap. I'd kept it hidden in my sock drawer
because I didn't want anyone to see it, which probably hadn't been a foolproof
plan. Mom got herself under control and looked at me. "Tell me the truth,
Bella," she said. "Are you sleeping with that girl?"

It didn't even occur to me to confess. Panic clouded my reason, and I simply
couldn't bare the thought of mom knowing that stuff about me. "No," I said, and
it didn't sound terribly convincing, even to me.

Mom shook her head, obviously not believing me. "Well, that's it," she said,
and stood up, the chair scrapping back on the kitchen tiles. She glared down at
me. "I've never had to ground you in your life, Bella, but from now on, I want
you home everyday after school and I want your cellphone and I don't want you
seeing that girl anymore. She's been a bad influence on you right from the
beginning and now she's interfering with your schoolwork and making you, making
you—"

She cut herself off. Obviously she didn't relish the thought that some girl out
there was making her baby do naughty things without any clothes on—and on
school days, too. I felt bad for her, but I also thought it was a good thing
she didn't know about the other girls who'd made me do even worse stuff. Maybe
I should've taken the opportunity to confess and get it off my dirty chest, but
I didn't. Mom seemed to be a little sensitive about my attendance rate and
sexual activities; I decided it was best not to admit that I'd skipped biology
to get double-fucked behind the science building.

She lifted her head and her eyes were colder than I'd ever seem them. "I
thought you were better than this, Bella," she said. "I thought that when you
got into a relationship that you'd be mature enough to do it properly. I didn't
think you'd go around lying and having sex with some girl you hardly even know.
A girl who still had a boyfriend! Did she even love you, Bella? Or was she just
using you?"

Funny how mom had pinpointed the exact issue even without the correct facts.
Alice had never actually had a boyfriend, of course—just a domineering red-
haired mistress—but mom's basic point was spot on; Alice had been using me. For
blood, sex, and to fulfill some doomed dream of perfect romance. I hadn't known
mother's were this wise.

Mom sniffed again, close to crying. "Now," she said. "I want you to go to your
room and stay there for the rest of the night. I want you to think about what's
happening to you and I want you to call that girl and tell her not to bother
picking you up tomorrow. I'll be driving you myself and I'll be picking you up
after school and bringing you directly home. And before you go to bed I want
your cell phone. Make sure you've called her by then and make sure you let her
know it's the last time."

I didn't mind the forbiddance of seeing Alice—she was already gone—but I was
bummed out about my cell phone. I'd never been dependant on it like other
girls, but I'd never had the numbers for two different chicks who liked to put
out at the same time, either.

But I was too shattered by mom's disappointment in me to try and wheedle out of
it. I hung my head meekly. "Alright," I said, pushing my chair back and rising.

My passive acceptance took a little of the sting out of her expression, as if
she'd just remembered that I was still her daughter and still basically a good
kid—as far as she knew, at least. "Good," she said. "Now go to your room.
There's things call principles, Bella. Look it up on google if you have to, but
you'd better find some—and fast—before it's too late. I can't believe you'd lie
to me like this. Were you really going to meet her family that night? Or were
you dressed like a slut for some other reason?"

She was probably referring to the night when I'd worn a skimpy satin halter and
a miniskirt to her parent's house for dinner before fucking her sister in one
of the upstairs bedrooms. I'd fucked Alice in her car, too. And then again that
same night—after I'd cheated on her. All things considered, I decided not to
answer the question.

"Well, it doesn't matter now," mom said, as if she didn't really want to know.
"Go to your room. Dinner will be ready at seven. You can come down then." She
looked at me and shook her head, tears filling her eyes. "I'm very disappointed
in you, Bella."

Her voice cracked and I had to say something, anything. "Mom—"

But she didn't want to hear it. "Go!" she cried, flapping a hand as if to shoo
me. Then she turned away. "I can't stand to even look at you anymore."

It was a little melodramatic, perhaps, but this whole thing was probably a
pretty big shock to her, so I didn't ask if I could have the photo of my naked
girlfriend back. I turned and trudged up to my room.

My phone was on my desk, but for a few minutes I simply sat on my bed and felt
bad. I cried a little bit, nothing loud, but enough to satisfy myself that I
wasn't a teenage monster; I legitimately felt awful for disappointing mom. At
least I hadn't fallen so far that I didn't care about my own mother anymore.

Then again, I didn't exactly feel moved to make any meaningful changes in my
life, either. In fact, after I'd cried out my feelings for mom, my thoughts
turned to more practical matters. Like Jane and Leah. I'd still get to see them
at school, and it wasn't like they required an actual bed to have sex. Still, I
took a moment to pout over the cruel irony of the situation, staring down at
the palm of my hand. Here I had the phone numbers for a pair of slutty lesbian
vampires who wanted to use me for sex and blood, and now my mom wants to
confiscate my cell phone. Life can be so unfair sometimes.

But I've never been the kind of girl to complain, and no one's ever listened,
anyway. I grabbed up my cellphone and punched in Leah and Jane's numbers.
Hopefully, mom didn't intend to ground me forever, and when the ban was lifted
it might be nice to get together. Just as friends, of course. After all, mom
was probably right. Time to make some changes. Grow up. Stop lying. It didn't
sound terribly appealing, but there was a strong possibility that Leah and Jane
would lose interest in me before I lost interest in them, and if that happened
it would be nice to have some morals to fall back on. It would feel less like
rejection.

I cycled to Alice's number and sat staring at it. Mom wanted me to call her and
tell her it was over. But it was already over. Alice had left me and hopped on
a plane to Paris without so much as saying adieu. I sighed. The difficult thing
was figuring out if I was entitled to an apology or some kind of explanation.
I'd already had an explanation from her mother and two of her sisters, but how
much of that could I trust? The mother seemed to have my best interests in
mind, and Leah had always been honest, if not outspoken. Come to think of it,
even Jane and Victoria were always honest. And even Alice herself. None of them
had set out to deceive me, really, they'd just been hiding their true natures
as soulless monsters while encouraging my belief that Alice was a perfect
person who really loved me. And when you put that way, then yes; I guess they
really were deceiving me. But why does the whole thing seem so complicated?

I didn't know, and frankly, I was losing interest. When life gets complicated,
movies and TV teach us to listen to our hearts, and my heart was telling me
that I still loved Alice. My vagina had been telling me something similar all
day—when it hadn't been filled with Leah's fingers, at least—and I decided that
I might as well call her. Chances are she wouldn't even pick up. And if she
did, it would be good to hear her voice.

And still I hesitated. I couldn't imagine what she might say if she picked up
and I had no idea if it would be anything I wanted to hear. What if she was
still angry at me for cheating on her? What if she laughed at me and told me to
get lost because she had a real woman now? What if we made up over the phone
and she instantly came flying back into my arms? Anything seemed possible, even
that last one. After all, she'd left the redhead for me once, as inexplicable
as that seemed. Maybe she could do it again. Maybe a second chance was truly
possible.

Or maybe she wouldn't even pick up. And why should she? I'd let her down,
destroyed her dreams, cheated on her and fucked two of her sisters a couple
hours ago. I sighed and tossed the phone on the bed. It was too soon to talk to
her. I suppose all couples go through a period when they need some space to
think things over and engage in threesomes with other people. It was only
natural. But then I remembered that mom wanted to confiscate my phone. Which
meant that if I didn't call tonight I might not get another opportunity for a
long time. Weeks, even. And added to all these problems was the fact that it
was a long distance call and my credit was low.

Obviously, I needed to think about it some more, and while I thought about it,
I sat at my computer and flipped through my porn stash idly. It was a modest
collection, of course—I'm really not this kind of girl—but not bad quality. I
couldn't use a credit card, obviously, and I'd never felt comfortable browsing
for this kind of thing, so basically it was just a few images I'd happened to
download during a timid search or two on google. This was before Alice, of
course. I hadn't looked at them in a while, and looking at them now made me
feel a little better, even if they didn't light any fires inside me. Jane and
Leah had taken care of my immediate urges, and mostly I just admired them for
beauty. Mom had told me to look up principles on the internet, but all in all,
I found naked women more fascinating.

I sighed and tapped the mouse with a fingernail. I really wasn't horny at all,
but while I was there I figured I might as well stick my hand in my pants and
see what happens. I supplemented the images with thoughts of Alice doing stuff
with Victoria and Rosalie, and I surprised myself with a decent climax.

After that, there was really nothing left to do but wait to eat. I sat on the
bed with a book—Wuthering Heights—and pretty soon there was a knock on the
door. Mom informed me coldly that dinner was ready and she had little else to
say to me for the rest of the night. We ate in tense silence, neither of us
with much appetite, and when we were finished I practically begged her to let
me do the dishes, convinced in some way that cleaning the plates might make her
like me again. But she only told me to go back to my room, reminding me to call
Alice.

It was about ten o'clock when I finally called, just before bed. Until moments
before I hit dial I had been pretty sure that there was no point calling
because she obviously didn't even love me, but in the end, I had decided that I
needed to speak to her one last time before my cell phone was indefinitely
confiscated. It was mostly just curiosity. I needed to know what she had to say
for herself. If she'd say anything.

The phone rang, kept ringing. I almost hung up before it went to voice mail,
then she answered. Or I thought she did. My heart stopped beating for a moment
and all I could hear was silence.

"Hello?" I said.

I thought I heard a soft breathing, but I wasn't sure.

"Alice?" I said.

Now I did hear breathing; a soft sigh trailing into Alice's voice. "Yeah," she
said. "I'm here."

Her voice made my ear tingle, and while it was nice to know she was there, the
revelation didn't really supply any topics of conversation. The silence dragged
on until she spoke again.

"I'm sorry, Bella," she said. "I never meant to hurt you."

It seemed like a nice thing to say and I felt myself soften. "I know," I said,
and I thought I did. I was still in love with her and I didn't want to believe
she'd done anything wrong. I wanted to believe it was the redhead's fault, or
even mine. I didn't want to blame Alice.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked plaintively.

It made me smile and I leapt at the chance to tell her: "No."

"Really?"

A touch of hope in her voice.

"Really."

I heard her smile, a half giggle. "Aww," she said. "That's so sweet. If I was
you I'd hate me."

My heart glowed and again I rushed to reassure her. "I don't hate you, Alice."

Somehow it felt like we were still a couple. It felt like maybe some
misunderstanding had occurred and now that I'd called her everything was going
to be okay.

"Do you miss me?" she asked hopefully. "I mean, I know it hasn't been very
long, but…"

My heart started aching, as if to remind me of how much I did miss her, and I
nodded into the phone. "Yeah," I said. "I miss you."

She sighed. She'd always had a beautiful sigh and sighs register so nicely on
the phone. "I miss you, too," she said, resignation in her voice. "But it's
better like this. Vicky was right. I'm broken. I don't deserve a beautiful,
intelligent young woman like you."

I opened my mouth to reply, but I thought I heard something in the background.
A snort. As if someone was there with her. Someone who had heard what she said
and thought it was funny. But that was impossible. Alice wouldn't have this
conversation in front of the blonde or the redhead. Would she?

She spoke again before I had recovered. "I want you to know that I really did
love you, Bella," she said. "Maybe it wasn't a normal kind of love, but I did
love you. Do you believe me?"

Her words melted me. "Yes," I said. "I believe you."

"Did you love me, too?" she asked. "I mean, really?"

"Of course I did, Alice," I whispered. "You know I did."

I'd thought we were on the verge of making up, but she dropped her voice for
her next words, still saccharine sweet but with a glass edge of menace:

"Then why'd you fuck Vicky?"

I felt my hope deflate as if it had been punctured. Tears of anger prickled my
eyes and I was tempted to tell her that I'd fucked Victoria because Victoria
was hotter than she'd ever be, and that I'd fucked Leah and Jane as well, but
before I could speak, she apologized softly.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean that."

I didn't reply.

A sigh. "Maybe I should just shut up," she said. "All I ever seem to do is make
things worse. Listen, I want you to know that none of this was your fault,
okay? It was all me. I should've protected you better."

I was softened by the apology, but still hurt. "When will you be back?" I
asked.

"I don't know," she said. "Maybe I won't be. To be honest, I've already met
someone else. A human, I mean. Her name's Michelle, but don't be mad at me,
baby. I don't love her like I loved you."

I had absolutely nothing to say to that. She'd replaced me in less than two
days and frankly I didn't give a fuck if she didn't love her as much she had
claimed to love me. How long had she even known the bitch? Two hours?

I shook my head silently. Maybe she had never intended to hurt me in the past,
but I had a feeling she was intending it now. The relationship was over and she
was toying with me, for whatever sick reason. She was damaged, she really was.

Alice giggled softly. "It was fast, I know, but the thirst doesn't wait," she
said. "She's not as beautiful as you, and she'll probably never accept me the
way you did, but you never know. Maybe I'll get lucky this time. It's the city
of love, after all. Did you know I'm in Paris?"

I resisted the urge to snort. Ah, Paris. Ah, l'amour.

"Leah told me," I muttered, and I was slightly gratified by her response. "When
were you talking to Leah?" she asked, and I could hear a note of jealousy in
her voice.

"At school," I told her, leaving out the fact that I'd fucked her, too. What
was the point? I wasn't petty like that, and I certainly didn't feel guilty
about it, especially now.

"Oh," Alice said. Then she sighed. "Well, I gotta go. Thanks for not being mad
at me, Bella."

As soon as she said she had to go my anger evaporated and suddenly I felt sorry
for her. A bleak hopelessness settled over me and I wanted to use our last
words together to make her feel better. If it was possible to make her feel
anything at all.

"It's alright, Alice," I said. "I know you never meant to hurt me."

I didn't really believe it anymore, but I didn't really care, either. She was
still my Alice and I didn't want to be angry with her.

"Thanks," she said. "Hey, if I do come back, did you want me to bring you some
shoes? Finest footwear in the world outside of Milan."

I felt a flicker of hope. It was wrong and stupid, but I did. I didn't care
about the shoes, but the possibility of Alice coming back to Forks made me
queasy with hope. "Sure," I said.

I heard her smile. "Okay," she said. "Well, I guess I'll see you around. Maybe
we can still be friends. What do you think?"

More hope. It made me want to cry. "Maybe."

"I hope so," she said. "You're a special girl, Bella."

I slumped sullenly. "So were you Alice," I told her. Very special, I added
silently to myself.

"Yeah," she said, and I could tell she didn't agree with me any more than I
agreed with her. Then she sighed and her voice took a chipper tone. "Anyway, I
have to go now. Vicky's giving me dirty looks."

I closed my eyes and bowed my head. "She's there?" I asked, resisting the
impulse to cry.

Alice giggled. "Well, I'm kind of tied up," she said. "Vicky's holding the
phone for me."

"Oh," I said, hardly even surprised. This whole time. The redhead had been
there this whole time listening.

"Rosalie's getting impatient as well," Alice added. "She can't speak because
she's gagged, but I can tell she's rolling her eyes under her blindfold. We
were halfway through something when you called. I wasn't even going to answer,
but Vicky wanted me to humiliate myself a little. She likes it when I humiliate
myself. She's smiling right now. She has such a sexy smile."

I shook my head. I was numb absolutely all over—aside from one specific
sensation between my legs. My pussy had begun to throb with interest, and maybe
that was most sickening of all, but I didn't care. I focused on the feeling,
because I knew it was more comfortable than anything else I could've felt at
the moment.

Alice sighed heavily. "Well," she said. "All this self-debasement is making me
horny, so I guess I should probably go. I'm sorry, Bella. You must think I'm a
monster."

I thought she was the sexiest thing I'd ever heard of, but I just shook my
head. "It's okay. It doesn't matter."

"Thanks," she whispered. "Bye, Bella."

"Yeah," I murmured. "See you."

I waited for her to hang up; already I was anxious to get to bed and bitterly
finger myself. But the silence hung for a second until she said:

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you hang up first?" she asked with a touch of her old coyness. "I can't
reach the button, and you know how I hate hanging up first."

"Okay," I said. "Alice?"

"Yeah, baby?"

I shook my head and sighed. I didn't know how to say it, so I just said it.
"I'm sorry," I said. "About everything."

I heard her smile, that smile I heard so often in the dark with her laying
against me, a soft half giggle, the sweetest sound in the world. "It's okay,"
she said. "It's better like this."

I didn't answer, but I didn't believe it was better like this. I believed it
would've been better if me and Alice were still together. Somehow, someway. I
believed we could've been happy.

"Bye, Bella," she whispered.

I shook my head, suddenly not caring anymore. "Whatever," I muttered. "See
you."

Then I hung up.

And for a while I just sat there on the edge of my bed, my head throbbing with
a quiet headache and my pussy throbbing with a subtle ache of its own. I was in
a mild state of disbelief, but the facts were plain enough. Alice was a freak.
Somewhere in the world, she was tied up and humiliating herself and begging for
more. I sighed. Oh well. At least I'll have some fresh fantasy material for
tonight. It was going to be difficult coaxing a fourth orgasm out of my
exhausted pussy, but I was pretty sure I'd manage.

—

***** Chapter 14 *****
—

Chapter 14:

—

The next day was Thursday, although I had to admit that I didn't really give a
fuck. It could've been Judgment Day and I would've woke with precisely the same
will to live. In the wake of last night's phone call, the world seemed to have
lost much of its glow, and in a drizzly town like Forks, there'd never been
much glow to begin with.

Oh Alice. You sexy cute adorable little fucking whore. How could you do this to
me? I didn't know. I thought about it in the shower and while I didn't come to
any conclusions I did manage to achieve a modest orgasm.

Mom still wasn't talking to me. I suppose it had been quite a shock to her, to
find out her sixteen year old daughter was a sexually active lesbian who liked
to skip school and wear thongs. Still, in the dull light of morning it had
began to seem like she was overreacting a little. After all, I wasn't on drugs.
True, the act of drinking blood was very addict-like, but mom didn't know about
that. And she couldn't have known exactly how unhealthy my sexual output was.
And she certainly didn't know about Victoria or Jane or Leah. As far as she
knew, I was simply a girl who did it with another girl a couple times when I
should've been at school. Did I really deserve being grounded for such a paltry
reason, thus preventing me from slipping further into depravity?

I only hoped Leah and Jane would understand about me being grounded. I planned
to let them fuck and bite the shit out of me today, and I prayed they'd be okay
doing it at school during lunch. Alice's feeding habits were somewhat more
extravagant, but she'd been acting out some fucked up fantasy that I'd been too
stupid to question. Leah and Jane might be more casual. I hoped they would be,
because the only thing that kept me from sticking a fork in a live toaster
while I was making breakfast was thoughts of Leah and Jane and all the things I
was going to let them do to me.

Mom drove me to school early before work, presumably so she'd know I actually
went. We got there early, and she didn't actually walk me to my first class,
but she did wait on the sidewalk until I'd gotten inside the main building. It
struck me as a little excessive. I mean, really; since when did I become the
avatar of teen treachery? It's not like she knew the real truth.

I kept to myself all day and by lunch I was so desperate to be bitten that I
felt like I'd die if they didn't want to do it. But I remembered Jane's offer
and I remembered how Leah had given me their numbers. They wanted me, I knew
they did. And that's what I needed right now. Alice's complete and evil
rejection had left me emotionally shattered, and deep in my bones—and pussy—I
knew that only Leah and Jane could possibly make me feel better again. I wasn't
interested in soulmates or destiny anymore; I just wanted to be wanted. Even if
they didn't really care about me and even if they'd never really love me. I was
done pretending. I didn't want a girlfriend, or a partner, or a lover. I wanted
to be fucked and fed upon like the useless piece of meat I am, and most of all,
I just didn't want to be lied to anymore. Lies suck.

And so it was with a thumping heart and a swarm of butterflies in my stomach
that I entered the cafeteria. I was so consumed by the urge to offer myself
that I didn't even bother getting anything to eat. Leah and Jane were sitting
at their usual table, just the two of them, and they looked up as I approached.
They must've seen it in my face or my posture, because they shared a glance and
smiled. I smiled too, blushing shyly, and the whole thing felt a lot like
asking a crush for a date. You wouldn't think such dark desires would feel so
nice and fluttery, but they did. Leah asked me where's my lunch, but I said I
wasn't hungry. They shared another glance, and Jane mentioned that she wasn't
really hungry either; not for human food. I didn't lace my hands behind my back
and bat my eyelashes, but I told her she could have me if she wanted, and the
smirk that curved her petal-pink lips sent a bolt of sheer excitement straight
up my ladyparts. She asked if Leah could share, and I gave Leah a steady look
into her darkly sexy eyes, and said yes; she could have me too.

They took me into the barren lot behind the science building, like yesterday,
and I let them do whatever they wanted. I'd worn my old denim skirt for easy
access, but Jane just pulled it down together with my underwear before
fastening her lips to my clit. Leah was standing behind me, and she was
massaging my breasts and plucking my nipples with my top and bracups pushed up
over them. I rolled my head back and tilted it to Leah. She was taller than me,
and I was looking up at her, my face flushed as Jane ate me out and Leah's
fingers pinched my nipples. Our eyes met for a second and we seemed to have the
same idea. We extended our tongues and touched them together, as if tasting
each other. It was one of the nicer moments of my life, and while she had shown
some reluctance to feed from me yesterday, she could tell it was what I needed
today; she lowered her lips and sank her fangs into the soft and pale flesh of
my neck.

The sharp stab of pain only made me more horny. I moaned and let myself climax,
my naked chest heaving as Leah sucked on the wound in my neck and Jane sucked
on my clit. Jane giggled and bounced to her feet, graceful and weightless like
a ballerina. My head was still rolled back slightly and one of Leah's hands was
clutching one of my breasts. Jane watched my face for a few moments, her hands
perched at my naked hips, and then she got impatient. She'd been placing little
kisses about my mouth and urging Leah to hurry, but finally she just shooed her
girlfriend away and pulled me toward her. She buried her face in the crook of
my neck and reached down and grabbed my naked butt as she sucked my blood. My
skirt and my underwear were still at my feet. Jane kept sucking, moaning and
groping my ass, and behind me I felt Leah move my hair over my other shoulder.
I felt her kiss the nape of my neck. I felt her kiss the lobe of my ear.
Finally she took me by the shoulders and turned me around. I turned toward her,
willing, boneless, and I let my head loll back, breasts exposed, as she again
lowered her lips to the wound and settled a hand on one of my tits.

They passed me back and forth for at least fifteen minutes, but the wound was
very shallow and the blood loss didn't seem dangerous. I remembered the doctor
guy telling me that vampire venom contained a mild anticoagulant to keep the
blood flowing even from a superficial wound. But even if I was in danger of
passing out, I wouldn't have asked them to stop. Alice had tricked me into
thinking that feeding was symbolic of some sacred bond, that it meant so much
to her that I let her do it. But I preferred this. It wasn't as romantic, but
it felt so damn good. I didn't even know why. My breath was coming quick and
fast and I was moaning from time to time, squirming my body against their
hands. My head was swimming, and after a while they were both feeding at the
same time, taking it in turns to lean and lick the last of the leaking blood as
the wound began to close. I smiled dreamily and relished the sensation of their
rough tongues licking slowly across my soft and throbbing throat.

The blood loss was significant enough to make me giddy and light headed, and I
was so horny that I wanted to do it all over again. Unfortunately, the feeding
had made them massively horny as well, and I figured it was only fair to do
them first. So I squatted at Jane's feet, hands on her hips for balance, and
began to eat her out. Her pale blue panties had come away sticky and she was
deliciously wet. Leah was wearing one of her black skirts with sexy black lace
panties underneath. She was even wetter than Jane after watching me do Jane
first, and I savored Leah like a juicy fruit, gripping her hips and really
eating her. I'd made eye contact with them both as I ate them out, kneeling at
their feet, but Leah's eyes seemed to give me an extra jolt, and I hoped she
could tell how much I loved going down on her—and how much I'd love to do it
again.

Lunch was almost over by then, but I came a second time pretty much immediately
when Jane shoved two fingers inside me, rather roughly, and began to pump them.
Leah supplemented the assault by applying a luscious kiss against my mouth and
playing generously with my breasts. She had fantastic breast-technique. I
squirmed backwards against the raw brickwall as I came, and when it was over I
had to dust bits of gravel from my butt before pulling up my panties. Not the
most elegant experience of my life, but I did feel much better.

The bell for class still hadn't rang and before they took their leave they
reminded me to call sometime. I told them I would even though I couldn't,
hating mom for a second for grounding me. It would've been so amazing to do
this stuff in a bed somewhere, at night, for hours and hours. I just hoped Jane
and Leah wouldn't lose interest before I got my cellphone back.

Before I went to class, I ducked into an empty bathroom upstairs, cover ing the
side of my neck with my hand as I passed people in the halls. It was a good
thing I'd worn a black top, because the blood had dripped down my neck and onto
the material. I regarded myself in the mirror for a moment, wondering if I
looked paler, and then I cleaned myself up with toilet paper and cold water. I
kept my eyes on my reflection as I dragged the wet clots of paper over my
throat and a strange smile formed on my face as I realized how beautiful I
looked. My lips were pale and my eyes were dark and lidded and bright from
blood loss. My complexion was smooth and ashen and my hair was long and dark
and as thick as it always was. I tilted my head and admired myself for a
moment.

I was startled out of my reverie by the sound of the bell, and I leaned to the
mirror quickly, examining the bite marks more closely. Two little puncture
marks, slightly bruised and discolored at the edges. It excited me to remember
that they were Leah's teeth. Jane was cute, but Leah was sexier. I touched them
gently, feeling the sting, then I took the black leather collar out my pocket
and put it on. The black leather-lace covered the wound and looked pretty
against my pale skin. I smiled again, almost giggling, and then I flushed the
bloody toilet paper and went to class.

My happy mood didn't last long, but it was nice while it lasted. Mom picked me
up after school like she said she would and dropped me at home before driving
back to work. I hadn't eaten all day, so I made a sandwich, ate half, and threw
the rest out. I could still feel the sting of the bite, but I was beginning to
feel a little bad about it. It had seemed so great when it was happening, but
by now I was remembering Alice. Remembering our first night together, when
she'd come through my window like a kinky cat burglar to steal my heart, blood,
virginity. Remembering that night in the hotel room, when she'd fucked me into
a floppy mess of slutty slavishness before dressing me up like her favorite
doll and feeding from me under the moon with the stars winking in the heavens
as I faded happily into her arms, determined to be hers forever. She had tried
so hard to make it special, she really had. But did she ever believe it
herself? Or was I a disappointment from the very beginning?

I sighed and flopped down on the sofa to watch TV. I wished I had my cellphone.
I didn't know if I wanted to call Jane or Leah or if I simply wanted to cycle
through my pictures of Alice, but either way, I guess I was more dependant on
the thing than I'd realized.

Mom drove me to school again the next morning, still not really speaking. It
was Friday, and I passed the morning with a cloud of butterflies in my stomach,
hoping that Leah and Jane would want to do it all over again. I was even more
nervous than yesterday, so nervous I almost decided to forget about it. Alice
used to go over a week without feeding, so maybe they wouldn't be interested
again so soon. Did vampire's get full? I didn't know much about the whole
process, but Alice had given me the impression that blood was more like a drug
than a meal, which seemed hopeful. I didn't know why I was so desperate to do
it again, but I was. It really seemed like the only thing in my life worth
doing.

Like yesterday, I didn't bother with lunch. I went over to their table and
glowed as Jane greeted me with actual friendliness. She seemed happy to see me,
which was touching in a way I didn't quite understand. Leah said nothing, but
she was smiling and watching me as I sat down. She inquired if I was cool with
what happened yesterday, and I responded with an airy casualness, as if
threesomes with vampires were a regular part of my lifestyle. Jane giggled and
started talking about how we had to do it again sometime, and her enthusiasm
was enough to overcome my nervousness. I said we could do it again right now if
they wanted, and for a second they seemed stunned. They shared a glance, eyes
sparkling with excitement, and then glanced at me. Jane smirked and said;
seriously? I returned the smirk, emboldened by their obvious excitement, and
said sure; as long as they fuck me first.

They accepted my offer quite eagerly and once again I found myself behind the
science building with my clothes adjusted for maximum exposure. They did it a
little differently this time, maybe because we'd wasted precious minutes in the
cafeteria and they wanted to be quick. Instead of sharing the same bite, they
bit either side of my neck, Leah with two of her fingers stuffed inside me and
Jane squeezing my tits. It was incredible, and when I was done, I went down on
them, although a little less elaborately than prior occasions. I did Jane while
Leah stood around waiting and then I did Leah, just plain oral with minor
fingering. They'd offered to do each other while I rested, but Jane's body was
super-cute and Leah was just plain hot; I was happy to do it.

Before we all split up for class, Leah asked if I wanted to hang out on the
weekend and see a movie or something. Coupled with the blood loss, the date-
like offer was almost enough to make me swoon, but I was forced to admit that I
was grounded for the foreseeable future. Jane was actually disappointed. She
seemed to like me much better now that she'd tasted my blood, and after I told
her why I was grounded, she commiserated with a few pointed opinions about my
mother that I didn't necessarily agree with but didn't actually contradict,
either. I told them they could do me again on Monday if they wanted, and at
this they both shared a glance. Jane was thrilled at this sudden and continued
decline of my self-respect, and made me promise not to forget. I said I
wouldn't. Leah gave me a sympathetic smile and placed a slow kiss on my mouth
that seemed vaguely apologetic. Then they linked hands, turned, and walked
away, pausing only to wink over their shoulders before turning the corner. I
was weak, dizzy, and vaguely euphoric from the blood loss; the roll in Leah's
hips under her skirt had seemed almost magical and Jane's ass in her designer
jeans was almost as cute as Alice's.

Mom picked me up after school and again dropped me off home before going back
to work. I rummaged in the fridge for something to eat, but I wasn't hungry,
and soon I'd settled at the kitchen table to do homework. I didn't get much
done due to a combined lack of interest and concentration, but mom was
impressed to come home and find me diligently studying like a good girl, which
was kind of the point. She even let me cook dinner with her, although I didn't
really eat much.

The next day was Saturday. I'd gone to bed early and slept a solid fourteen
hours, long enough to cause mom some alarm. She'd noticed my paleness, but I
waved it away, and I spent the rest of the day moping about the house, helping
mom with laundry, watching TV. Mom seemed to be softening toward me, worn down
by how I hovered around her like a lost puppy, but she still wasn't ready to
talk. I was beginning to suspect that the biggest shock had been my
orientation. In some of her glances I could just tell that she was disappointed
I was a lesbian. She looked at me as if I might be a stranger, as if she wasn't
sure if someone had taken away her real daughter and dropped me off in her
place. It hurt, certainly, but it couldn't be easy coping with the fact that
your daughter likes to eat pussy, and I was sympathetic enough to her situation
that I didn't attempt to rush her approval. In all fairness, I really was a
terrible daughter, and a little silent treatment was certainly better than
being yelled at and disowned like in a movie.

I was depressed all day and depressed when I went to bed, wishing I could've
seen Leah and Jane. I fantasized about the day we could've had, the three of us
at the movies, sitting in a darkened theater, Leah on my right, Jane on my
left. I didn't know what we'd go see, but I wouldn't be watching it anyway,
because I'd be watching them, glancing, glancing. And afterwards they'd take me
back to their place and show me their room. There'd be heavy metal posters on
the walls and stuffed animals on the bed. It would be a doublebed, queen-size,
and they'd lay me on it and take off my clothes, smiling as they descended with
their lips all over my body before biting into my neck. And then I'd do them,
properly, laying on my tummy with my face between their open legs, eating them
each in turn, slowly and lovingly, feasting on them as they had feasted on me.
It would be so awesome to do it in a bed, somewhere where we wouldn't have to
stand, where we wouldn't have to stop, where we could take off all our clothes,
somewhere where we could just keep going and going. I knew I was dangerously
close to getting double-fucked into hospital, but I didn't seem to care. Leah
and Jane were the only things that kept my mind off Alice.

Ah Alice. No matter how much I tried not to think about her, she was there like
she always was, smiling in the back of my head with the echo of her giggle in
my ears like a lunatic whisper. I still missed her, now more than ever. It was
so unfair. She had betrayed me so badly, crushed me, destroyed me—and I still
loved her, still felt sorry for her. She had tried so hard to love me, she
really had. It had felt so real, so strong, so complete. Why did she give up?
Was it my fault? Or Victoria's?

Maybe that was the worst thing. I didn't even know who to blame. Victoria had
seduced me, I'd cheated on Alice, and Alice was just plain fucked up. Damaged.
The kind of girl who cheerfully offered to bring me back some shoes from her
trip to Paris before casually informing me that she had to get off the phone
because she was tied up and in the middle of getting fucked by the woman she'd
left me for. But could we still be friends?

Stupid Alice. How could she do this to me and not even let me join in? That was
the worst thing, really. I mean, it's not like either of us are angels. Why did
she need some french chick when I was back here providing the same service for
two of her sisters? Obviously I had strong potential as a blood-whore. Why
didn't she just bring me along and let me enjoy the complete and utter
destruction of my heart? Leah and Jane were hot, sure, but the blonde and the
redhead were sheer magnificence, and Alice… Alice was simply exquisite. I
remembered her body, so ripe and coltish, her flat belly, her plump breasts,
her smooth legs. I remembered the warmth and the weight of her as she lay naked
on top of me, straddling my hips. And since I probably wasn't going to get to
sleep any time soon, I went ahead and started touching myself as I imagined
reaching down and grabbing her gorgeous ass, closing my eyes and breathing
quietly in the dark as I fucked the phantom of this girl who'd swallowed my
soul and left me hollow inside.

Monday morning I saw Jane in the halls. She was with Lauren and a couple
others, but she blew them off when she saw me, and I was so touched by her
favoritism that I succumbed to her flirting, took her into one of the
bathrooms, and went down on her in one of the stalls. The bell rang before she
could bite me, and she tried to get me to skip homeroom, but I was too afraid
of getting into trouble to risk it. She pouted cutely, but she wasn't quite as
irresistible as Alice; I kissed her cheek and told her to meet me behind the
science building at lunch, withdrawing with a wink.

She arrived with Leah and found me leaning against the wall waiting for them,
collar in my pocket, my pale neck already riddled with bite marks. I'd almost
been afraid they wouldn't come and I was relieved when they did. I smiled and
unleaned from the wall, stepping into Leah's arms as Leah sauntered up to me
directly and wove a hand into my hair, pulling my face toward hers. I opened my
mouth and wrapped a leg around her hips, moaning hungrily as her tongue
slithered in. Jane sidled up behind me, giggling, and stuck a hand in my pants.
She whispered into my ear, asking me if I liked it, if I wanted it. Leah's lips
had lower to my neck and I said yes; I wanted it. Jane giggled again and
slipped her fingers inside me, making me moan. She nibbled my ear and called me
a whore and slut, hissing these slurs like a sweet endearments as she pumped
her fingers, and I agreed with it all, and then she bit me. Leah bit the other
side and I came as they fed.

For the rest of the week I met them behind the science building and everyday I
let them fuck and feed on me. Jane became very bold, even abusive, taking me by
the hand and twirling me into her arms like a dance partner before sinking her
fangs into my neck without even going down on me first. She'd then make me eat
her out, and I'd do it, silently and without resistance like a human pet. Only
then would she scoop me into her arms, kiss me tenderly, and stick her fingers
in me. Leah was a little more gentlemanly. She always did me properly, kissing
me and groping me up a little before biting into the base of my neck and
stroking me to a climax, sometimes with Jane's help, sometimes not. I'd
developed a strange taste for Leah, and she never needed to tell me to go down
on her; I sank to my knees automatically.

I hadn't had lunch in over a week and I'd started skipping breakfast, too. Soon
mom noticed that I wasn't eating dinner, either. She'd also noticed that I was
pale and tired all the time, and she asked me why I was starving myself. I
would've liked to set her at ease, but I didn't even know myself. I just didn't
feel like eating. Whenever I tried I'd start thinking about Alice, and my
appetite would just vanish, replaced by less culinary urges. It wasn't so bad
to begin with, but it was getting worse, and pretty soon it had begun to seem
like the only thing I liked eating was pussy.

Tuesday evening, mom had to throw out most of my dinner, and she was a little
shrill in pointing out that this kind of behavior only proves that she was
right about how unhealthy my relationship was. I agreed with her, but this only
seemed to agitate her further. I was listless and apathetic, pale and thin, and
I had the impression that maybe she was blaming my depression on herself for
severing my relationship as she believed she had. But none of this was her
fault. It was my fault, and Alice's and Victoria's, and even Jane and Leah's.
Mom was my rock, my bestfriend. I wanted to make her feel better, so I told her
I just wasn't really hungry, and eventually she let me go to bed, kissing me
goodnight for the first time since she found out I was gay.

Leah and Jane had kept the bites shallow and the blood loss to a minimum, but
as the days passed I could begin to feel it, a creeping dizziness that made it
hard to concentrate or care about anything. I was going to bed early, but it
took me hours to fall asleep, and by Wednesday it was a struggle to even get
out of bed in the morning. My only motivation was to see Leah and Jane. There
seemed to be little point in anything else, and when I saw them I would come to
life, smiling through the dizziness and feeling my pussy stir as Jane and Leah
came around the corner of the science building to find me waiting for them.
They'd fuck me and make me moan, and they'd bite me as they fucked me, and
every time I'd want more.

They made me forget Alice, but as soon as it was over, Alice would return. Her
name had been fluttering through my head like a crazed butterfly all week, but
I couldn't focus my thoughts on her at all and I didn't want to. I was watching
TV Wednesday afternoon, and suddenly I remembered how cute she'd looked on our
first date, in her sundress and sandals, immune to the cold night air. I
remembered how we'd had sex in the car, uncontrollably like animals, and the
memory was so sharp and desirable that I started to cry. Then I checked the
clock, and since mom wouldn't be home for a while, I stuck a hand in my pants
and lay back on the sofa. I'd been tempted to Jane or Leah if anyone knew when
she'd be coming back, but I didn't even know if I wanted her to come back. All
I knew was that I missed her.

I fell asleep with a headache and woke with a worse one on Thursday morning.
Mom tried to force me to eat breakfast, but I wouldn't have had much enthusiasm
for soggy cereal even if I wasn't dying from malnutrition. I'd been crying
again in the shower, and in addition to my red eyes, I was pale and gaunt and
sweating from the exertion of staying awake. Mom asked me if I wanted to stay
home, and I was almost tempted to accept. I was weak, so weak, but I needed to
see Jane and Leah. I wasn't dead yet, and I was curious about what color
panties Jane would be wearing. Leah was always in black, but Jane had lots of
different colors, and she looked cute in almost anything.

Mom drove me to school, but I fell asleep briefly in the car halfway there, and
mom drove me back home and put me to bed. I had a fever, apparently, and I
needed to rest. I must've looked pretty serious, because she even offered to
stay home and take care of me. It was nice to know that being a lesbian didn't
disqualify me from basic maternal care, but I told her I'd be fine if I could
just sleep a little. She left, reluctantly, and as soon as she was gone I got
out of bed and called Jane and Leah on the house phone. I wished I'd come up
with this plan sooner, but I guess I'd been too rattled by the blood loss and
sleep deprivation.

Jane and Leah were happy to skip school, naturally, and at last I got my wish
of fucking them on a mattress. They had me all to themselves for hours and they
didn't waste me. We got naked, totally naked, and I let them direct me as they
pleased, too tired to be anything but passive.

It was the first time I'd seen them naked, and I stared at them mindlessly as
they made out with each other, admiring their perfect bodies and salivating
from how much I wanted them. Leah's body was tall and athletic, with long legs
and large breasts. Jane's body was small and lithe, with a pinched waist and
perky breasts. They were both bikini-waxed, and when Jane asked me what I
wanted to do, I told her I wanted to go down on Leah. Jane seemed to understand
the urge and yielded the point with a smile and very little jealousy. Leah did
the same and obliged me by laying back on the bed and opening her legs. I took
a moment to stroke and admire her beautiful copper-colored thighs, and then I
lowered my mouth and dragged my tongue across her bald and glistening mound. I
was laying on my tummy, eyes closed, head throbbing. Jane watched for a while
and then she mounted one of my legs and started rubbing her wet pussy against
the back of my thigh.

Jane came first with a low hiss and suddenly she grabbed my hair and wrenched
my face away from Leah's pussy. My mouth was shiny and slathered with Leah's
arousal and Jane kissed me viciously for a moment before sinking her fangs into
my neck. It was abrupt, but the pain and the dominance made me horny; I grabbed
her ass and moaned to let her know I liked it. Leah, close to orgasm, seemed
frustrated at this. She grabbed us both by the hair, Jane giggling, and she
forced Jane's face into her pussy and locked her legs around Jane's head. She
then pulled me toward her and I let her suck on the bite as her girlfriend
finished eating her out.

They bit me, they fucked me, they bit me again. We enjoyed upwards of a dozen
orgasms between us and at one point I passed out and woke to find Jane gnawing
a groove into my wrist like a sexy rodent. She smiled at me with her teeth all
red and I told her I had to pee. She licked my wrist clean and told me not to
be too long. I smiled at her naked body, eyes lidded and drugged, and said I
won't.

I didn't even bother putting clothes on. I peed and washed my hands, leaning
against the sink for a second to catch my breath, and then I looked into the
mirror. It took a few seconds for my eyes to focus. Dizziness was washing over
me in waves and my skin all over felt like it was throbbing with fever. I
blinked and tilted my head. My neck looked diseased with bite marks and they
hurt when I touched them. I looked away. I turned the water off and shook my
hands dry, my naked breasts jiggling, and then I took a deep breath and went
back to Leah and Jane. They'd shown absolutely no concern for my health, but at
least they'd never lied to me.

That night I went to bed before dinner and lapsed into a feverish sleep,
tossing and turning in the dark as I struggled in a delirium of nightmares.
From the cooking coils of my poisoned brain came a steady seep of dread and
darkness that soaked into my heart and made me afraid. I saw Alice sulking down
a staircase carrying a candle in a light clank of chains, naked and sad like a
ghost. I saw a darkened cellar somewhere that at first appeared empty until a
boom of lightning lit the windows and revealed a dead girl hanging from a
wooden beam. The girl was Alice. I moaned and tried to wake but I could not.
The girl smiled and in the next revelation of lightning she was gone.

I didn't know if I'd woken or not. I thrashed up from out my drenched bedsheets
and froze in horror. Alice was in my room, perched in a highcorner like a
spider where she'd been watching me sleep with eyes inky and opaque, fangs
exposed and her head tilted like a bat. I screamed a dry and soundless scream
and fell asleep again.

In the morning, the fear of the dream lingered, but that didn't stop me from
masturbating in the shower. I was so weak I almost fell over as I came, but I
managed to stumble to the breakfast table without any fatal accidents, and soon
mom was driving me to school. She kept glancing at me worriedly, but I assured
her I was better, and I had, after all, gotten plenty of rest.

I was sweating through homeroom and through English. I had no idea what I was
going to do on the weekend, but I had a feeling I wouldn't have to worry about
it. I stumbled into the lot behind the science building and found Leah and Jane
waiting for me. Jane admonished me for being late, but she was so cute I could
forgive her for being such an evil bitch; I walked up and slipped my tongue
into her pretty mouth.

By math I was feeling pretty dead and I found that it felt pretty good. I was
sitting with Lauren as I always did, and I was so pale even she was moved to
sympathy. She asked me if I was okay and I laughed. Because I wasn't. Okay. The
class started and I tried to read my text book, but the words were swimming off
the page eerily and it all seemed pretty stupid anyway. Someone touched my
shoulder. I'd been slumped over the table and I hadn't realized. I raised up
and blinked. The teacher seemed to feel I should go to the sick bay. Lauren was
staring at me with mingled concern and distain. I tried to stand up but my legs
weren't working. What was I doing again? I put a hand on the back rest of my
chair and heaved myself to my feet. People were staring. I took a step,
stumbled. The teacher took my arm but I snatched it back. I stepped again. The
room spun. Lauren said something and as I turned so I could hear it better I
fell over. My ankle rolled and my head smashed against the corner of the table.
There was a gasp and several people jumped to their feet. Blood was dripping
from my cracked head onto the floor. I was on my knees. Lauren was kneeling
beside me and she was saying something. I tried to stand again, but I couldn't,
and when I fell over I didn't get up.

—

***** Chapter 15 *****
—

Chapter 15:

—

I found out that later that the blood loss, starvation, and concussion were
severe enough to cause me to slip into a brief coma. The first time I woke up
my eyes barely fluttered before fluttering closed again. The second time I woke
I managed to croak a couple words to mom who'd been sitting anxiously at my
side before a doctor and a nurse hustled into the room to examine me. They
removed the tubes from my nose and the IV from my arm. They told me I had
staples in my head. They mentioned brain fever. Mom was crying quietly as she
hovered at the doctor's elbow and she was nodding as they told me I was going
to be okay now.

The next time I woke it was dark aside from the pale glow of the florescent bar
over my cot. The room was empty but there seemed to be a weight in the bed
beside me. I turned my head, eyes cracking open, and there on the same pillow
was the cute and beautiful face of Alice.

"Alice…" I murmured, unsure if I was dreaming.

She smiled, a soft and gentle smile. "Hey."

Could it possibly be her? I was laying completely still but my head seemed to
be reeling. She was right there, laying right there beside me on the edge of
the cot, Alice, my Alice. And for a moment I was dazed by the sheer closeness
of her. She was laying on her side, hands clasped at her chest like a child,
and she was as beautiful as she'd always been. Pale skin, marble smooth. Short
black hair framing her perfect features. And her eyes, huge and honey-colored,
so close to mine. I blinked into them and my mouth moved to shape one word:

"Alice…"

Her smile went a little wider, as if it pleased her to hear me say her name.
She lifted a hand to stroke my hair and began whispering softly. "You've been
in a coma," she told me gently. "Four days. You had a nasty concussion. And
you've been starving yourself. I came back as soon as I heard. I've been so
worried about you."

I heard the concern in her voice and it confused me for a moment. It felt
wrong. My brow puckered slightly and slowly the fog was pierced as I remembered
the all the hurt and the anguish she had put me through. "Liar," I said.

"It's true," she whispered, still stroking my hair. "You almost died, Bella."

I frowned and tried to turn my face away from her hand. "I don't care."

"Oh, Bella," she whispered. "I'm so sorry, baby. I never should've left you."

My eyes were closed. My head felt like it was floating and I shook it slightly.
"I don't care," I mumbled.

Silence. I could hear nothing. She wasn't breathing and after a while I felt
her move. She threw a leg over my body, straddling my hips over the covers, and
settled on top of me. She stroked my hair to get my attention and I turned my
glazed face to hers. My lips were parted slightly as I gazed up at her in a
fatigue of haziness and slowly she leaned down and kissed them, once, twice,
and then a kiss on the corner of my mouth. The last kiss lingered, and then she
squeezed closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to mine, not gently.

"I tried so hard to treat you properly, Bella," she whispered intensely,
something like remorse in her voice. "And now this. How could you go and do
those things? How could you let them do this to you?"

She settled back slightly to look at my reaction. But I didn't really have one.
When I blinked, I blinked very slowly. She was so beautiful and I could feel
her weight on top of me. Her eyes were wide with concern, but I knew it wasn't
concern. I frowned at her and said: "What do you care?"

The concern became even more pronounced, her eyes large and shiny. She cupped
my cheek, gazing down at me longingly. "I care because I love you," she said.

I rolled my eyes; slowly and without much interest. My gaze settled on the
heart monitor beside my bed and I watched it blip, ignoring the girl on top of
me. It occurred to me that I was still half-sedated. My disinterest seemed to
agitate her.

"I do, Bella," she insisted, trying to look into my eyes. "I made a huge
mistake, but I'm going to make it up to you, I promise. I'm never going to
leave you again. I swear."

I'd closed my eyes while she was talking. She'd been giving me a headache and I
was still really hurt inside. "Fuck you," I muttered.

The mention of fucking seem to excite her. I heard a soft giggle in my ear.
"Later," she whispered. "Go to sleep, baby. I'll be right here when you wake
up."

—

But she wasn't. I woke up in the morning with a dull grey light in the window
and the only person in the room was mom. She was sitting in a visitor's chair
beside my bed and she'd already closed the magazine in her lap; she'd known I
was waking up before I even did.

"Hey, mom," I said, squinting slightly. It wasn't particularly bright in the
room, but my eyes hadn't gotten much exercise lately.

Mom rose, setting aside the magazine, and came forward to clasp my hand. There
was an ID band around my wrist and my hand felt weird as she touched it. "Hey,
sweetie," she said, looking into my face searchingly. "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged, squinting about the room. "I'm alright," I said, and by now I was
trying to piece together what the hell was going on. My head hurt and I was in
a hospital somewhere. Okay. Um, why?

"You've been in a coma," mom told me, noticing my puzzled glances about the
room. She helped me sit up in bed. "Do you remember what happened?"

Actually, no. I didn't. It was strange. It seemed appropriate to be here, as if
it made sense somehow, but now that I thought about it, I had no idea how I
actually got here.

I remembered that I'd been whoring my body and blood to Leah and Jane all week
and by Friday I'd been almost dead on my feet. Is that what happened? I didn't
remember any ambulances or anything. All I remembered was Lauren's face, for
some reason. She'd been…worried about me? No, that didn't seem right. It was
more likely that she'd hit me with something and sent me here herself.

Mom was still hunched over my bed and looking at me apprehensively, so I
shrugged again. "Not really."

She nodded, as if she expected it. "I know," she said, patting my hand
reassuringly. "The doctor said that short term memory loss is completely normal
with a concussion that bad. But you'll be okay now. You just need to rest a
little bit. You've had a relapse of that anemia you had last month. Do you
remember?"

I remembered. That was the excuse Alice's dad-person had given the first time
Alice had fed from me.

Alice.

She'd been here last night, hadn't she? Or was that just a dream? No, it had to
have been real. I'd been a little dopey, but it was definitely her, curled up
in my bed like a stalker and staring at me as I slept. Jeez, talk about one
creepy bitch. I used to think all vampires were like that, but Leah and Jane
never did that creepy shit. Alice was fucked up even by vampire standards.

But how come mom never noticed the bite marks? I'd had dozens of them, all
carefully concealed under my collar—but was I wearing my collar now? I touched
my neck discreetly and felt something powdery on my skin. Makeup?

"You were also practically starved," mom went on, getting a little weepy. "You
fainted at school and bumped your head on a desk. All that combined with the
anemia…" But she seemed unable to go on. She sprang forward suddenly and
wrapped me into a hug. "I'm just glad you're going to be okay."

I hugged her back clumsily. It was nice one of us was happy I was still alive,
but my head was still hurting and in all honesty, the news of my continued
existence didn't inspire in me a great deal of good cheer. It was okay, I
guess, but nothing to throw a party over. Still, mom seemed to love me and
prefer me alive—even as a homosexual, apparently—so I patted her on the back a
couple times and said: "Thanks, mom."

She hugged me for a bit more and finally settled back into the visitor's chair.
"Your classmates have been very worried," she said, and before I could burst
out laughing at the absurdity of that, she produced some proof. "Look," she
said, plucking a greeting card from the bedside table, "they sent you a get-
well card. Your whole homeroom signed it."

I frowned and looked inside the card. It was true; scrawled inside the card
were over a dozen little get-well messages and signatures in different colored
pens. It wasn't the whole homeroom, but close enough. It made me uneasy and I
didn't bother reading them. Although I did feel a mild flicker of warmth as I
glanced over Angela's signature. She'd always been sweet. But the warmth faded
quickly when I realized there was nothing from Lauren.

It hurt far more than it should've. I mean, I hardly even knew most of the
people who'd signed this thing, and yet Lauren, my bestfrenemy, couldn't find
the time to scribble down a couple words? Not even something hurtful or
derogative? Doesn't she realize if I'd died she would've lost a large part of
her daily amusement?

It was almost enough to make me wish I'd never come out the coma. It was absurd
and irrational, but crushes are like that. I'd been crushing on Lauren for
years, even while I was with Alice, and lately I'd began to believe that maybe
she might secretly like me back, despite the fact she appeared to hate my
lesbian guts. Since middle school I'd been slavishly soaking up her petty
blonde abuse in the pathetic and desperate desire to simply be near her—and now
she didn't even sign my get-well card.

I snorted and passed the card back to mom. "Whatever," I muttered. "I don't
care."

Mom registered my expression, politely overlooked it, and set the card back on
the bedside table—beside a vase of flowers. "And look, some of your friends
even sent flowers," she said. "Two of them came to visit you yesterday. Jane
and Leah?"

I glanced at the flowers with a strange smile. It was an exotic bouquet and
expensive-looking, with a helium filled balloon tied to a thin pink ribbon. It
struck me as cute, sardonic, and extremely Jane-like. First she literally
screws me into hospital with absolutely no mercy and no regard for my failing
health and then sends me a bouquet of beautiful flowers and a get-well balloon.
Aw. How sweet.

But I was surprised that mom knew their names. "Were you here?" I asked. "When
they visited?"

Mom smiled and put her hand over mine. "Of course, Bella," she said, "I've been
here every day during visiting hours."

I looked at the hand uncomfortably. This is what I hate about being sick. Mom
always made it seem like I was dying, which, admittedly, had kind of been true
in this case. But still. I hated to make her worried.

"What about work?" I asked.

Mom looked at me intently. "You were in a coma, Bella," she said. "Do you have
any idea how worried I've been?"

I felt my heart sink a little. I didn't know exactly how bad my condition had
been, but brain fever didn't sound particularly harmless, and obviously it was
bad enough to put me in a coma and make mom miss work out of concern. I suppose
this is the downside to destroying yourself; you tend to drag your mother down,
too. I had the decency to look sheepish. "Sorry," I said.

But she shook her head, giving me a reassuring smile. "Don't apologize,
sweetie," she told me, patting my hand. "You were sick. It's not your fault."

I returned the smile, but my heart sank even further. Because it really was my
fault. Leah and Jane had supplied the temptation, even a little influence, but
they never did anything I didn't want them to do.

But I was saved from bursting into flames of shame by the entrance of the
doctor. It was Alice's dad-guy, of course, Dr Cullen. He came in with his
blonde hair and male prettiness, smiling benignly as if to apologize for the
interruption. Mom rose to her feet, only slightly staring at him, and I
frowned; since when are men that good looking? The clothes and the flat chest
turned me off, but from the neck up, he was pretty damn gorgeous. All he needed
was a bit of eyeshadow and some earrings and even I'd probably do him.

"Ah, I see Miss Swan is finally up," he said, taking the chart that hung from
the foot of my bed and glancing it over. He took a ballpoint from the pocket of
his labcoat, nodded at the chart, and spoke to mom. "Well, everything seems
fine for now. I'd like to keep her overnight for observation, but she should be
ready to go home tomorrow morning."

Mom nodded at him; obviously his status as Alice's father hadn't made him any
less good looking. "Thank you, doctor."

He nodded back and fixed his expression into something gentle and caring. "To
be honest," he said, "when I heard it was Bella, I insisted on handling this
case myself. It pains me to think Alice might have been responsible for this in
some way. I'm not sure how much Bella has told you, but I feel like I should
apologize for everything Alice has put her through. The stress of everything
that's happened could've partly been the cause of her condition. Or at least
exasperated it."

I frowned. I could appreciate good acting as much as anyone, but why not simply
stick with the anemia story? It had worked last time, although I suppose I
shouldn't complain. It couldn't hurt to be victimized in front of mom; she
couldn't hate me if she was feeling sorry for me.

"Bella hasn't told me anything," mom said, with a worried glance at me. "All I
know is that they'd been skipping school together. I had no idea she was this
affected."

The doctor nodded with solemn understanding, a brilliant performance. "She and
Alice were very close," he said.

"Too close," mom added, with an edge of fretfulness. "It isn't right how she's
been starving herself like this."

The doctor gave me a worried look, almost matching the concern of my own
mother, and turned back to mom. "May I ask, has she been exhibiting any other
signs of chronic depression in addition to loss of appetite? I don't mean to
interfere, but maybe it would be wise to have her speak with the resident
psychologist."

Don't you love it when adults talk about you as if you weren't even in the same
room?

"I'm not depressed," I mumbled, but I didn't think any one believed me. Not
even me, really. I'd been depressed all my life, before I met Alice, after I
met Alice, and while I was with Alice. And now that I'd lost Alice I appeared
to have moved past a casual teen angst and into the more chronic varieties of
despair that cause a girl to hospitalize herself through excessive rebound-sex
with hungry vampires. Well. I'm sure all girls go through a phase like this
eventually.

"Oh, I'm not sure if that's a good idea," mom said, and patted my hand
protectively, as if she'd save me from the psychologist. "Bella's never been
comfortable with strangers. If she needs to talk to someone, she'll talk to
me."

I rolled my eyes sullenly. If I needed someone to talk to, I'd leave myself a
voice mail. My problems are little too graphic for mom's ears, anyway. I wasn't
sure she'd be particularly sympathetic of my need to destroy myself because my
sex-crazed ex never actually loved me to begin with.

Dr Cullen smiled at mom. "It's a good thing she has such a loving mother to see
her through all this," he said, and then he turned to me. "And for what it's
worth, Miss Swan, I'm sure Alice never meant to hurt you. Whatever transpired
between you two, I'm sure she'd want you to know that she loved you."

His words gave my heart a subtle flutter, but I scowled at him as if he'd told
me I'm ugly. "Whatever," I said.

He smiled and turned to mom. "Mrs Swan, would you mind giving us a few
moments?" he asked with polite professionalism. "I have a few tests to run."

Mom nodded, already grabbing up her purse and magazine, as if her presence were
somehow detrimental to my recovery and she was eager to do the right thing by
departing. "Yes, of course," she said, "I'll go get some coffee."

She then kissed me on the cheek and hustled out the room, glancing back from
the door with wet-eyed affection, as if she might never see me again. Then she
was gone. The doctor watched her go and then turned to me, smiling a more
natural smile; airy amusement mingling with polite indifference.

"You have a very special mother," he said. "She loves you very much."

He was obviously very observant, but rather than thank him for this crucial
insight, I simply said: "I know." Then I added: "You know, the last time I was
here, you said that anemia stuff was a one time thing. You said it would never
happen again. But it did. Twice, now."

A soft chuckle escaped him. "A father lies for his daughters," he said, and
made a very small bow, like a regency gentleman. "You'll have to forgive me."

I frowned and didn't say if I forgive him or not. Honestly, I didn't think I
cared anymore. They'd all been lying to me, everyday since I met them. I could
forgive his "daughters" easily enough because they were hot and let me have sex
with them, but I suppose I couldn't really hold a grudge against the doctor,
either. He'd patched me up and concealed the truth from mom, which was nice,
albeit in his own interests. I'd been wondering how he'd kept the bite marks
secret, but I found out right then; he'd produced a few articles of makeup from
his coat pocket and now he was bending to my neck and touching up the bites
with concealer or something.

I let him work without speaking for a moment. His face was close to mine and I
glanced him over suspiciously. I'd never seen such an attractive man before,
but then again, I'd never seen such an effeminate man before, either. His face
was young and smooth, smoother than mine, even. There wasn't a trace of facial
hair anywhere on his cheeks or his upper lip and he had an absolutely perfect
complexion that only other vampires could rival. His eyes were long lashed and
sparkly blue. His jawline was defined but very fine and even his neck seemed
too slim for a man.

He noticed my scrutiny and smiled, turning my head to access the other side of
my neck. To cover my discomfort I muttered a question: "What are you doing with
makeup in your pocket, anyway?"

He gave a subtle shrug. "A lot of men make use of their partner's foundation."

I was skeptical. "They do?"

He chuckled and put the makeup back in his pocket. "According to magazine
surveys, yes," he said. "Thirty percent, at least."

Well, whatever. I was still depressed and I didn't really give a fuck about
anything, least of all men's makeup habits. I missed Alice. And suddenly I
remembered that Alice was here last night. The realization was accompanied by a
jolt in my heart and a sudden wave of dizziness.

Alice was back.

And she still wanted me.

It hadn't properly occurred to me until now. Everyone had said that she'd be
back one day, begging for another bite, but I had never believed it. Deep in my
heart I'd believed that Alice was gone, together with her magnificent ass, and
that I was going to be heartbroken and unsexed forevermore. Jane and Leah had
taken care of the sex part, quite adequately, but my heart was still shattered
into a bunch of tiny pieces. I could feel it in my chest, all cold and broken
up, and as the doctor examined the machinery at my bedside, I frowned
uncertainly and said:

"Alice was here last night."

He nodded, jotting something down on my chart. "She came back as soon as she
heard," he said. "She was very worried. And rightly so." He gave me a little
smile. "You've been a little reckless, haven't you?"

"Me?" I blurted. I might've sounded a little shrill, but really; it didn't seem
fair to blame me considering here I was in hospital with a cracked skull. "You
guys are the ones who…"

He chuckled softly. "I know," he said, and placed a caring hand over mine. "I'm
sorry, but try not to be too harsh on us. It's difficult to resist a willing
woman. Especially one as beautiful as yourself."

The compliment made me uncomfortable, but not as much as the hand. It was long
fingered and fineboned, manicured and without any trace of hair on the wrist or
knuckles. It wasn't a repulsive hand, but I'd always had a subtle phobia about
men. I didn't like it when they even came near me, let alone touched me, so I
tugged my hand away discreetly.

"She said she still loves me," I said.

He nodded. "She does."

I looked at him, a frail hope in my heart. "Does she really?" I asked. "Or are
you just saying that?"

He smiled. "Miss Swan," he said. "It may be that Alice never loved you in a
traditional sense, but she did want you. She wanted you more than anyone could
possibly want another person. She still does. Don't doubt it. It could be that
her passion is dark and twisted and hardly more real than a dream, but it's a
passion not to be squandered. She's a difficult girl, but if you can master her
heart and make her yours, you'll be the happiest woman in the world."

It was a nice speech and it did stir me slightly. But before I could say
anything, a nurse entered the room and asked if the doctor needed any
assistance. She was a young nurse, and judging from her expression she might've
been happy to assist him directly into bed, but at the moment he only required
her to adjust the patient's IV.

The rest of the morning was uneventful. Mom had raced home and back to bring me
a small collection of my favorite books, and for a couple hours I didn't do
much but lay propped up in bed with Wuthering Heights in my lap. I'd lost count
how many times I'd read it by now, but it was still an awesome story, and the
only other excitement I had was when I had to use the bathroom. My legs were
surprisingly weak, but it was a short walk from the bed to the adjoining
lavatory and mom was there to guide me by the elbow, cooing encouragement with
each step as if I was a toddler just learning to walk. Thankfully, peeing was
easier than walking, and I was able to do it under my own power, privately,
with mom waiting anxiously outside after instructing me to be careful for
whatever mysterious reasons.

When I got back into bed, she fluffed my pillow and tucked me in like an
apprentice nurse, and by now I was clearheaded enough to feel massively guilty
about all the love and care she was smothering me with. After the way I'd been
treating her lately, lying and concealing and screwing vampires behind her
back, I really didn't deserve such attentive mothering. She'd obviously
forgiven me for the irresponsibilities of skipping school and being a
lesbian—no doubt aided by the doctor's generous portrayal of Alice as the
villain of the relationship and me as the innocent young maiden who was taken
advantage of—but that was only the surface of my indiscretions. If she knew the
truth about me she might've pulled the plug or put a pillow over my head. It
would've been the only thing a responsible parent could do.

But alas, I was alive and awake, struggling with a growing guilt as mom sat at
my bedside and cheerfully quoted articles out of her magazine as if I might
actually be interested. By lunch I was getting pretty tired and I set about
persuading her to go back to work while I took a nap. She was reluctant of
course, as if her cheerful spirits were somehow vital to my full recovery, but
eventually I managed to convince her I'd feel guilty having her sit there while
I did nothing but sleep. She finally left, promising to be back for a couple
hours after work. I hated being alone, but I felt a little better when she was
gone, as if she'd taken some of the guilt with her. But deep down I still felt
awful. In addition to the emotional stress I'd inflicted on her, my thoughts
ran to hospital fees and the wages she'd lost from missing work. I knew I'd
never been a good daughter, but lately I seemed to be the worst one ever.
Still, I'd suffered quite a bit of emotional pain myself—not to mention the
inconvenience of having my head cracked open and stapled back together—so I
consoled myself that I wasn't evil, just weak, and slipped into a brief nap.

I was woken up a short time later by a nurse who removed the IV from my arm and
bought me some lunch. I'd heard horror stories about hospital food, but it
seemed okay to me. But maybe that was only because I'd hadn't actually eaten in
a over a week. Still, it tasted good to my atrophied tastebuds, so even though
there wasn't much on the tray, I ate it all, as if my near-death experience had
somehow restored my will to live, or at least my appetite. I was actually
really hungry. The coma seemed to have settled my soul-crushed anguish into a
duller kind of despair, the kind that might be cured by eating a whole cake.
They probably didn't serve any at the hospital, but I remembered that we had
some chocolate ice-cream at home. That is unless mom had eaten it herself to
numb the grief from crying over her comatose daughter. She deserved it more
than me, certainly.

The afternoon was a little more hectic than the morning. I had another visit
from the doctor, a different one this time, who filled me in on the details of
my condition. I found out how many staples I had in my head; nine. My head had
been wrapped in gauze, but they'd unwrapped it earlier to examine the wound. It
was about an inch long, just above my ear, and they'd shaved a tiny patch of my
scalp that was thankfully concealed by the natural thickness of my hair. I'd
had a constant pain in my head since I'd been awake but they said it would go
away, which was good news, I guess. Half-joking, I expressed some concern over
the possibility of brain damage, but they assured me, with equal joviality,
that all my scans were normal. I was skeptical of scans that didn't reveal any
dementia in a mind as fucked as mine, but I took their word for it.

And then I was alone for a while. Alice had been among my thoughts all morning
and now I was thinking of nothing else, my eyes drifting off the pages of the
book in my lap as I tried to piece together what I was feeling. But I seemed to
have no feelings, just a dull emptiness where my heart had been.

Alice was back. She still loved me and she'd decided to express that love by
curling up in my hospital bed to watch me sleep away a coma. I couldn't decide
if such behavior was a sweet demonstration of her desire to be near me, or
simply a gross violation of my personal privacy. Mom had been watching me sleep
too, but she had done it during the day, during the bright light of visiting
hours, and she had at least bought a magazine to distract herself. Alice's
single-minded staring as she curled into the very bed beside me in the dark
didn't seem quite as wholesome. I wondered if she'd copped a feel while I was
unconscious. The thought made me blush, and I made a deliberate effort to hope
that she didn't; although it would be pretty hot if she did. I could just
imagine myself laying there, prone and helpless, unable to resist as she slid a
hand inside the covers and caressed my hip, staring into my pale and passive
face, before slipping the hand up my hospital gown to cup one of my breasts,
feeling the familiar weight of it and staring longingly at my mouth before
stealing a kiss from my dry and docile lips.

Well, I guess I did have a feeling on the subject after all; horniness. And
maybe that was exactly the problem. Because even if Alice had never really
loved me, it was possible that I'd never really loved her, either. I hated to
even consider it, but at some point you have to start wondering why you always
liked your girlfriend's ass more than her personality. Because it was true.
Alice had been warm, kind, intelligent, charming. Yet I'd always preferred
fucking her than talking to her. It had never seemed to be a problem, because
that's how she preferred it as well, but in hindsight, maybe our relationship
had been just a little too physical.

And now she wanted me back. Somehow I'd never expected it, despite everyone's
warnings. The momma-vamp had told me she'd be back, Leah and Jane had told me
she'd be back, and even Alice herself had told me she'd be back—with shoes. And
now that she actually was back, I had no idea how I felt about it. All I knew
was that I couldn't possibly get back together with her, no matter how much she
claimed she still loved me. Because now I knew the truth; vampire's weren't
capable of love. All they could do was lust. Alice could pretend that her
insane longing for my body and blood and my complete and consensual acceptance
of those longings were part of some special bond between us, but I knew better
now. She was horny; I was there. It was a bleak truth, so I guess I could
understand why she'd want to delude herself into thinking it was something
more, and for a while I'd shared the delusion. But not anymore.

No, I'd never been in love with Alice. I'd simply accepted hers unwittingly.
I'd been attached to her, unhealthily attached, but it probably wasn't love. I
snorted and looked at the bedside table. It was weird, but in the end, I guess
there was only one girl I'd ever really loved. And she hadn't even signed my
get-well card.

Funny how the heart works. If someone asked me what I liked most about Alice,
I'd be forced to admit that in all honesty it was the promise of her pussy that
attracted me most, followed closely by her ass. Yet if someone had asked me
what I liked most about Lauren, I wouldn't even consider her body. Because as
cute as the individual aspects of her anatomy were, what I liked most about her
was the power of her personality. Her tough take-no-shit attitude. Her talent
for put downs. I didn't lust for Lauren; I admired her. She wasn't a nice
person, but she was a strong person, and deep down I could tell that she'd be
an awesome girlfriend—if you could actually get her to like you.

Which was never going to happen, so there was no point even thinking about it.
Besides, it's not like her personality was the only thing I liked about her.
She had nice hair. And pretty eyes. So in the end I'm still a superficial twit
who only likes people based on how cute they are. Alice, Lauren, Leah, Jane,
even Victoria—would I have even looked at them if they were ugly?

I didn't know and I didn't seem to care. In any case, I wasn't interested in a
relationship anymore, not with Lauren, not with Alice, not with anyone. It was
time for me to take a break for a while, get myself under control, gain back a
bit of weight. Spend time with mom. Study. Well, maybe not study.

Anyway, I just hoped Leah and Jane would still want to be friends. We'd really
bonded over this past week. Being fucked and fed upon on a daily basis has a
way of accelerating the intimacy level of a relationship. But I knew how
temperamental vampire's could be, and I knew that neither particularly cared if
I lived or died. The doctor-vamp had said they were usually very careful, so I
guess there really must be something special about me. Something that demanded
a little extra attention. I'd been hospitalized three times by three different
vampires, but I hadn't seen any other girls walking around school with pale
faces and bite marks in their necks.

In any case, it didn't matter. Leah and Jane were cool. They'd been a little
careless with my life and self-respect, but even now, laying here in a hospital
bed with staples in my head, I couldn't bring myself to regret the things I'd
done with them. Because even if I didn't love them, I did like them. I liked
being with them and I respected what they were; sexy. Sure, they were
demons—soulless monsters that subsisted on the blood of the weak and
innocent—but with asses like that did it really matter? Bodies like those
obviously belonged to superior creatures, and in all honesty, I'd been
privileged to provide my body and blood for their enjoyment. I mean, who
wouldn't?

I'd been wondering if they'd come visit me, but I didn't have to wonder long.
I'd kept my eye on the clock, counting the minutes after school had finished,
and I'd almost given up hope when they finally came, Jane pushing open the
door, already smiling her evil smile, and Leah right behind her.

"Well, it looks like Sleeping Dyke finally got her kiss," Jane said grinning,
maybe referring to Alice. "How you doing?"

I was happy to see them, although I wondered why she called me dyke. Usually
she only did that at school, around other people. I was about to ask, but then
I saw that trailing behind them was a third person who'd come to visit.

Lauren.

It was so unexpected that for a second I just stared. She hadn't even sign my
get-well card; yet she'd come to visit me?

I didn't understand, but here she was, shuffling in a few seconds after Leah
and Jane and closing the door behind her awkwardly. She looked shy and nervous,
the opposite of her usual attitude, as if she wasn't sure if she wanted to be
here and didn't know how to act. Yet when her eyes flickered to mine I saw
concern there. It was just a brief flicker before she glanced away again, but
it was there.

My heart skipped a beat.

Lauren had always been my secret crush. The crush had been a little dormant
lately, but it flickered into renewed life at this unexpected visit. I'd never
seen her in a social situation outside school before, and I felt a sudden and
acute self-consciousness. I hadn't washed my hair properly in a week, and
Lauren had always been critical of my wardrobe; I didn't think a hospital gown
and peagreen bedsheets were likely to get her hormones humming.

Lauren herself looked nice, I noticed. She was wearing a pink top with a
dipping white-lace neckline and a pair of tight blue jeans. Her long blonde
hair was pulled back from her face with a pink hairband. Despite her abrasive
personality, she'd always favored the color pink for some reason, and it had
always suited her. Leah was in all black, as usual, and Jane this afternoon was
in tan cargoes and a pink top similar to Lauren's. Lauren couldn't really
compete with the supernatural perfection of the two vampires, but by human
standards, she was very cute. It felt like a long time since I last saw her,
and even when I stopped staring, my eyes flickered back to her almost
instantly.

"Hey," Leah said, smiling at my expression. "Dad said you woke up, so we
thought we'd come by on the way home."

I glanced at her, nodding as if that made sense, and glanced back at Lauren
awkwardly. I had no idea concerning the protocol of the situation. Am I suppose
to say hi? Pretend she's not here? How exactly is one supposed to act when her
secret crush and schoolyard tormenter visits her in the hospital after a near-
fatal coma?

Lauren didn't seem to know either, but we both seemed to realize that a tearful
reconciliation probably wasn't going to happen. She was standing around with
her hands in the pockets of her jeans, more nervous than I'd ever seen her, and
she nodded at me grudgingly. "Hey," she said, as if forcing herself to be
polite. "We just finished cheer practice. I was just giving Jane a ride."

Ah. She was trying to pretend that she hadn't even wanted to come here, but she
should've known Jane better.

Jane giggled and slapped her shoulder. "Yeah right," she said. "You were
worried about her."

Lauren snorted, as if such a thing were preposterous. "No, I wasn't."

But I had a suspicion Jane was right. After all, if Lauren was only giving Jane
a ride, why did she bother coming up to my room? For that matter, why did Jane
even need a ride at all when she had Leah? A subtle glow smoldered in my heart;
Lauren actually cared about me.

Leah chuckled at Lauren, obviously not believing her either. "You know, being
nice to a gay person doesn't necessarily make you gay too," she told her.

Lauren blushed and gave Leah a disgusted glance. "Fuck off," she said, and I
was amazed at her balls. Leah was an intimidating girl; tall, dark, athletic,
sexy—but Lauren hadn't batted an eyelid.

Unfortunately for her, however, Jane wasn't intimated either. "Lauren was there
when you hit the floor," Jane said to me, grinning widely. "She was so worried
she carried you to the sick bay all by herself. She was almost in tears,
weren't you Lauren?"

Lauren blushed and adjusted the strap of her backpack. "Fuck that," she said.
"And I didn't carry her, she was still walking. And you weren't even there,
what the fuck would you know?"

Jane didn't bother to reply. She giggled and backed away to the door, tugging
Leah's hand. "Listen," she said to me, "we're gonna go say hi to dad quickly.
He's gotta be around here somewhere. We'll be back in a minute, alright?"

I nodded, and Lauren gave a anguished eyeroll; she obviously didn't relish the
through of being left alone with me. Jane winked behind her back slyly, and I
tried not to smirk; she was deliberately giving me a few moments alone with
Lauren. Leah and Jane had picked up on the tension between us ages ago—even
Angela had—and even though me and Lauren denied it from both sides, they all
seemed eager to see what would happen.

Lauren threw them a dark look as they disappeared out the door, and then turned
her dark look onto me, as if it was my fault I was laying there half-dead.
Again, I felt an acute wave of self-consciousness—I must've looked awful.
Lauren at least was polite enough not to mention it, and she looked away very
quickly.

The silence stretched as we glanced about the room, looking at the
heartmonitor, the visitors chair, the window, everywhere but each other.
Finally she sighed and took off her backpack—maybe because she couldn't think
of anything to do—and put it on the floor. She then sighed again and looked me
over with a studied disinterest.

"So," she said. "How you doing?"

I shrugged a shoulder. I was propped up in bed and still had the book in my
lap. "I'm alright," I said, although I wasn't really. Aside from the discomfort
of being trapped in a room with a girl who could tease me into tears at any
moment, I was also tired, woozy, and I had a massive headache. But I've never
been one to complain, and I didn't want to stretch Lauren's grudging sympathy
any further than I had to.

She nodded and put her hands in her pockets. Silence dragged for a few seconds
as she looked at the floor—intrigued by the tile pattern perhaps—and then she
looked up at me snappishly. "So what happened to you, anyway?" she said in her
more usual tones of judgmental abrasiveness. "Homeroom teacher said you had
some kind of blood disease, but Jane said you were all messed up over being
dumped and starved yourself till you got sick and passed out. Which one was
it?"

I shrugged. "Both, I guess."

"So you actually starved yourself over your ex?"

I smiled. "Something like that."

She stared at me with disgust—but there did seem to be a strange jealousy in
her eyes. "Do you have any idea how pathetic that is?"

A few weeks ago I might've been hurt by that. But these days I completely
agreed. "Pretty fucking pathetic," I said.

She snorted, her expression softening slightly. "Yeah, well, at least you're
aware," she said. "How's your head?"

"Nine staples."

"Where?"

"Here."

I tilted my head slightly and dragged my hair away from the wound. Lauren
approached cautiously and took a look. It was just over my ear and I listened
for her reaction.

"Shit," she said.

I chuckled once. "Yeah," I agreed. "It got fractured. I had a concussion."

I couldn't see her face because my head was turned aside, but when she spoke
her voice was surprisingly gentle. "Does it hurt?" she asked.

The soft tone caused a flicker in my heart, and even though the pain in my head
felt like having my skull squeezed in a vice, I found myself shrugging. "Not
really," I said. "Just a little bit."

Suddenly I felt Lauren's finger touch my scalp. Near the wound, as if she
wanted to adjust it for a better look. She was gentle and it didn't hurt, but
the excitement of her touch almost made me flinch.

"Fuck," she said.

I chuckled awkwardly and put my hair down, avoiding looking at her. "Yeah."

She stepped back and shook her head. We fell silent again, but the silence
didn't last as long this time. She examined some medical poster on the wall for
a moment and turned back to me. Maybe the brief moment of tenderness had made
her uncomfortable as well, because when she spoke it was with her usual
abrasiveness.

"So has the little freak come to see you?" she asked. "Jane said she's been
back in town for couple days, but she hasn't been at school."

For a second I wasn't sure who she was talking about. "Alice?"

"No, Angelina Jolie," she snapped. "Who the fuck you think I'm talking about?"

I hesitated, remembering how Alice had been here last night, laying in the bed
beside me. Creepiness aside, she'd been very gentle and caring, the way she
stroked my hair and kissed me. It was all so soft and sweet compared to
Lauren—but at least Lauren wasn't lying to me.

Or maybe she was. She hadn't signed my get-well card, yet she cared enough to
make excuses to come visit me, didn't she? She'd even cared enough to help me
to the sick bay rather than let me bleed out on the floor. Strangely, she was
like the opposite of Alice. Every day Lauren pretended to hate me while deep
down she might secretly like me whereas Alice was only pretending to love me
while secretly using me to fulfill her own warped fantasies. Neither were
ideal, really, but lesbian-denial did seem a little more forgivable than
psycho-stalking.

Lauren was still waiting for an answer, so I shrugged slightly. "She was here
yesterday," I said, as if it wasn't really important. "But I was still a little
out of it, so…"

I trailed off and Lauren looked at me coldly. "Jane said she wants to get back
together with you."

Shrugging again, I looked down at the book in my lap. "Yeah," I said.

I didn't elaborate and we lapsed into silence again. I thought about Alice,
about all the creepy shit she did every day as if it was casual as breathing,
and suddenly I snorted.

"You know, you were right about her," I said, looking up. "About Alice."

She frowned slightly. "What do you mean?"

"She's a freak," I said, feeling a strange anger building in my stomach. "And a
total fucking slut. You remember that redhead?"

Lauren had never heard me say a bad word about Alice and she seemed taken
aback, almost hesitant to hear more. "Yeah, I remember," she said. "Victoria or
something. The bitch you cheated with."

"Yeah," I snorted. "Well, guess what? Alice fucked her too."

She froze, mouth open slightly. The utter scandal of this seemed to shock her.
It was probably a stupid idea to tell her, considering this was the same girl
who'd been spreading rumors about my own indiscretion, but I was beyond caring.
I had a sudden urge to trash Alice and Lauren was one of the only people I knew
who'd want to hear it.

"No way," she said.

I nodded. "Uh huh."

"Oh my god," she said. "How did you know, did she tell you?"

I smirked. I could've told quite a story about how I knew, but I decided the
abridged version would be better. "I caught them together," I said. "Alice was
going down on her."

This little detail almost made her green. "Oh my god," she repeated. "She
fucked her own sister?"

They weren't real sisters—not even close—but I didn't mention it. I was feeling
mean and I wasn't inclined to make excuses for the girl who'd ruined my heart.
"Yeah," I said. "Like I said; freak."

Lauren ran a hand through her hair, still in shock. "Fuck," she breathed.
"That's the grossest thing I ever heard."

I chuckled once. "I thought it was hot."

She stared at me in disgust, but she couldn't seem to manage a comment.

"What?" I said, almost innocently. "You know I'm gay."

"It was your fucking girlfriend," she spat.

I snorted, strangely proud of my cavalier attitude. "Fuck her," I said. "I
don't care."

I would've expected Lauren to be happy about that, considering how much she'd
always hated Alice, but she only glared at me. "So why'd you starve yourself
over her then?"

It was a good point, but not the one I was trying to make. I frowned, almost
pouting. "I didn't," I said. "I was sick."

Lauren snorted and shook her head, looking away. She looked at the window for a
second, shook her head again, and then turned back to me. "I mean, what the
fuck?" she said. "Did she do it to get back at you? You know, for cheating on
her?"

I was feeling sullen again and I shrugged dully. "I don't know," I muttered. "I
think she's just fucked in the head. You know she called me last week after I
caught them together? She said she was sorry and wanted to be friends. Then she
told me she had to get off the phone because she was in the middle of having
sex with her again. I think she's bipolar or something. She pretends to be all
sweet and innocent, but she's really fucked up inside."

It wasn't completely accurate—Alice hadn't called me, I'd called her—but it was
close enough.

"Fuck," Lauren said, and then she sat in the visitor's chair, as if this news
was so terrible she had to sit down. And she actually did look a little pale. I
didn't know if she felt sorry for me, or if she was simply shocked senseless at
the idea of lesbian incest between two sexy sisters, but either way she seemed
to be taking the whole thing a little seriously.

More seriously than me, even. I'd had all this built up inside me for a while
now, but none of it was what truly bothered me. I could forgive her for being a
freak, and I could forgive her for all the little creepy things she did, and I
could even forgive her for cheating on me. But there was one thing I couldn't
forgive.

"She never even loved me in the first place," I muttered. "She just liked to
fuck me."

Lauren looked at me and away again. She looked at her backpack on the floor,
sighed, and said: "Well, I always said she was a freak."

I chuckled once. "I know."

She snorted and shook her head. "Jeez," she said. "I thought you were bad for
cheating on her. But at least you were sorry." I didn't reply and she snorted
and shook her head again. "You know, in a way I always thought you were kind of
lucky," she said. "Because, you know. You were kind of a loser and she was
really popular. But I guess she was only into you because you're gay. And, you
know. Desperate."

I gave her a strange look. It was pretty insulting, but from her tactful
tone—and the subtle blush on her face—I had the impression she was trying to
make me feel better. And even more weirdly, she was completely right. For a
while there I'd seemed like the luckiest girl in the world. But in the end I'd
turned out to be nothing more than the easiest girl in the world.

In any case, it was nice of her say anything to me that wasn't outright
deliberately offensive, so I gave her a sarcastic smile and said: "Thanks."

She rolled her eyes, as if she regretted even trying to be nice. Then she took
a breath and looked at me. "So it's over with you two?" she asked. "Or are you
gonna go back to her?"

I sighed. Deep in my heart I knew I'd probably go back to her as long as she
still wanted me—my self-respect was nil at this point and her ass was likely to
be as amazing as it ever was—but that wasn't something I was willing to admit
out loud. Or even to myself. So I shrugged and decided to maintain a façade of
caviler rejection. "Fuck her," I said. "She wasn't even that good, anyway."

I'd never considered myself a vindictive person, but there it was. Lauren
smirked and looked away. She seemed unsure whether she was allowed to smile at
the mention of lesbian sex without subtextually suggesting that she might be a
lesbian as well. Finally she snorted and turned back to me.

"You know, I still can't believe you actually starved yourself over your ex,"
she said. "Don't you have any self-respect at all?"

Actually, no, I didn't. But I felt like I should at least pretend I did. "I
didn't starve myself," I muttered. "I had anemia or some shit. I fainted."

"Still," she said. "It's kind of cool that you were messed up like that. You
know, in an overdramatic, tragic-lesbian kind of way. Have you ever noticed
that lesbians always die in movies and TV shows? They're always getting killed
or committing suicide."

It was a bit of a morbid observation, considering I was laying in a hospital
bed recovering from a coma bought on by a near-suicidal fit of rejection. But I
could appreciate her point.

Lauren snorted and shook her head. "How come lesbians are always depressed,
anyway?"

It was a good question, and after my experiences with Alice and Lauren, I had
the perfect answer: "Because girls are cruel and everyone hates us," I said.
"You'd be depressed too."

She snorted and averted her eyes. "Yeah, well," she muttered. "I'm just glad
I'm not one."

I smirked. "It's not all bad."

"What's so good about it?"

I chuckled and gave a little shrug. "You get to kiss girls," I said. "That's
pretty cool."

She scoffed, but she seemed to be blushing a little, too. "I'll pass," she
said. "Although I guess it couldn't be much worse than my boyfriend." She
heaved a sigh. It sounded like sympathy for a lover no longer loved until she
spoke: "I really gotta get rid of that fucker."

It wasn't the first time she'd mentioned something like that. It was pretty
clear to me that her boyfriend was nothing but a beard, but I still wondered
why she stayed with him. "So why don't you?" I asked. "I mean, if you don't
even like him…"

Lauren seemed uncomfortable. "I don't know," she said, not looking at me. "He
loves me. And he keeps buying me stuff and sending me all these gooey texts.
He'd be devastated if I broke up with him. He'd probably end up in the room
next door."

I chuckled. I didn't think Lauren was quite cute enough to attempt suicide
over—even a passive suicide like mine—but I didn't mention it.

"Anyway, he's a senior," she said. "He'll be gone next year." Then she shrugged
and gave me a look. "Besides, it's not like I'm interested in anyone else."

I felt a slow blush crawl over my face. Was I hearing things? Or was Lauren
sending signals? I gave a shy shrug. "I'm available," I said. Then I chuckled
and blushed. "I'm pretty easy too."

Lauren was taken aback, not sure if I was joking. "Yeah right," she scoffed.
"I'd rather date a… date a…"

She was so flustered that she couldn't think of anything she'd rather date. Or
perhaps there was nothing she'd rather date. But luckily for her reputation as
a vicious gay-basher, she was saved from further embarrassment by the sudden
reappearance of Leah and Jane.

"Good news, guys!" Jane called as she barged in, Leah behind her. "The doctor
just gave us permission to put Bella out of her misery. Sorry, honey, it's for
your own good. Wanna do the honors, Laurie? I'll hold her down, you put a
pillow over her face."

I shrank back against the bed suspiciously, not entirely sure if she was
joking, but Lauren ignored her and edged toward the door, still blushing.
"Listen, I'm gonna go home," she said to Jane. "You can get a ride with your
sister, right?"

Leah nodded, but Jane swung around to call to Lauren as she disappeared out the
door.

"Wait, where're you going? It's not even murder, it's euthanasia!"

But Lauren was gone, leaving me with a strange feeling in my chest and
wondering more than ever if she might secretly like me. Jane turned back to me,
chuckling.

"Jeez," she said, "talk about all talk and no action. You'd think she'd jump at
the chance to take you out once and for all."

And then, contrary to her lethal teasing, she leaned over my bed and kissed me
flush on the lips, taking advantage of our sudden privacy. I was surprised, but
pleased, and I was even more pleased when Leah leaned from the other side of
the bed and placed another kiss on my mouth.

"Hey, honey," Leah said, keeping her voice soft. "How are you feeling?"

I felt a warmth spread through my chest. Her sexy face was close to mine and
she was holding my cheek, looking into my eyes as if she actually cared, the
tingle of her kiss still on my lips. Leah was so amazing. I knew she didn't
care about me any more than Jane did, but Leah seemed to have a certain
nobility about the whole thing, like a hunter who respects her prey. She didn't
tease me like Jane or demean me like Victoria or pretend to love me like Alice.
There were no games with Leah.

And wasn't it so sweet of her to keep her voice down? Not even mom had that
kind of deference for my headache—which had flared up from talking so much with
Lauren. Still, it was nice of her to ask how I was feeling, even if she was
only being nice. In truth, I was feeling pretty exhausted and there was a
splitting pain in the side of my skull, but I shrugged as if nothing was wrong
at all. "I'm alright," I said.

Jane giggled. "Aww, how butch," she grinned. "Staples in her head and she says
she's alright. You're pretty awesome, Bella."

Now I felt another warmth; a sweet word from Jane was almost a miracle, and I
didn't spoil it by replying. Besides, I'd probably misunderstood and it was
actually something insulting.

Leah called my attention back to her. "Listen," she said, "we need to
apologize. It was wrong to push you far, so but…" She gave a sheepish smirk and
a little shrug. "We hardly ever get to do it with a girl who actually wants it.
Usually we feed in secret. But a girl like you… well, it's easy to get carried
away, you know?"

I smiled and blushed brightly, unaccountably flattered. It was nice of her to
apologize, but completely unnecessary. One's life seemed like a trivial thing
to risk when faced with the temptation of daily threesomes with sexy lesbian
vampires. And no matter how much they enjoyed my blood, I was pretty certain
that I'd got the better end of the deal. Leah and Jane hadn't done anything I
didn't want them to do, and let's face it; the only thing that had stopped me
from literally throwing myself at them was a lack of leaping ability.

Besides, it had been exactly what I needed to help get over Alice. Even now I
felt like a new woman, all broken up and repaired again. Arguably, I was even
less mentally healthy than before—not to mention my physical injuries—but I
appeared to have stopped giving a fuck about almost everything, and that felt
like a good thing.

So I waved off the apology with a shrug and a slightly glazed smile, the
exhaustion beginning to catch up with me. "It's cool," I said. "It was mostly
my fault, anyway."

Leah nodded, but Jane had noticed something on the floor.

"Hey look," she grinned. "Lauren left her backpack, the dumb bitch."

I didn't think a little forgetfulness warranted such venom, but she was
correct; on the floor, a backpack. "Oh," I said. "She must've forgot."

Jane picked it up gingerly by the strap, as if it were evidence of some kind.
"Jeez," she said. "That girl has one massive crush on you."

I'd believed the same thing, but it seemed so much less realistic when someone
said it out loud. "No she doesn't," I said.

Jane smirked. "Trust me," she said. "I wasn't kidding when I said she was
worried about you, you know. She's been fucked up all week. She wouldn't even
join in when I was making fun of you with the rest of the squad. She pretends
like she doesn't care, but even her friends are starting to notice she's sweet
on you."

I felt my heart flicker yet again, but I didn't reply. They looked at me with
similar smirks. I was about to ask if they'd noticed anything else, when
suddenly Lauren herself reappeared at the door.

She saw the backpack dangling from Jane's hand and came to a halt. She was
flustered and frowning darkly. We all looked at her and she motioned at the
backpack loosely. "I forgot my fucking…" But she didn't bother clarifying; she
snatched the backpack and she was about to leave again, when she shot me an
irritable glance from the doorway. "So when're you going to be back at school,
anyway?"

I glanced at Leah and Jane, and then I shrugged at Lauren. "I don't know," I
said. "Day after tomorrow, I think."

Lauren snorted. "Yeah, well, hurry up," she said, shrugging the backpack over
her shoulder. "I need someone to copy from in math."

Then she left. Jane poked her head out the door, as if to check if she was
really gone, and then she came back to the bed, grinning. "Poor Laurie," she
said. "It's sad, isn't it? So much repression. The poor girl simply has no idea
how to express her feelings. Maybe you should help her out a little, huh Bella?
She's kind of cute. Nothing compared to me, of course, but so few girls are."

I blushed. "She's not gay."

Jane flipped a hand. "Please," she said. "I had gaydar before gaydar was even
invented, and if there's one thing I know how to spot, it's potential prey.
Besides, it's so obvious even her friends suspect."

I went quiet at that, because I remembered Angela had said something about it
last week, or the week before last. She'd said that maybe Lauren's denial was
cover for a crush, and even though she hadn't seemed particularly certain, it
was telling enough that it had occurred to her. But still. Even if she did have
a crush on me, it was probably just a girl crush, or a brief fit of sexual
confusion. After all, she hated her boyfriend and she liked the school dyke;
that would make anyone think, but it didn't necessarily make them gay.

Leah must've gotten tired of standing because now she sat on the edge of my
bed, folding her beautiful copper-colored legs one over the other. "Jane's
right," she said, leaning on an elbow beside me. "Remember, we can see her
blood pulse and smell her pheromones. Lauren definitely gets a spike sometimes
when she's around you."

I was getting a spike myself. She was wearing one of her black skirts, this one
leather, and her crossed legs distracted me a little. But then I realized what
she said and frowned; Lauren gets an physical reaction? From me?

I looked between them. "Seriously?"

"Totally," Jane grinned. "And if you're gonna do something, you'd better do it
quick. I've been holding back on her because I've been waiting to see if she'll
finally make a move on you, but if you don't do something soon, I'm gonna have
to step in."

I felt a flicker of jealousy, but I wasn't sure where it was aimed at. I didn't
like the thought of Lauren dating a girl who wasn't me, but I didn't like the
thought of Jane seeing a human that wasn't me, either. Still, I'd never
actually had hopes for a relationship with Lauren, and both Jane and Leah
certainly fed from other girls, anyway. Besides, Lauren and Jane would make a
cute couple. They had a lot in common; they were both blonde, sadistic, and
enjoyed waving pompoms. A match made in heaven, practically.

So I just shrugged. "Yeah, well," I said. "Even if she does like me, she'd
never actually go out with me."

Leah smiled and adjusted her legs—a subtle movement, but it made me glance all
the same. "You won't know till you try," she said. "What have you got to lose?
I think you should take a shot."

I frowned slightly. Deep down I was a little hurt that they didn't want to keep
me all to themselves, but I guess I knew that this was all casual to them. It
was supposed to be casual and meaningless to me too, but I guess I'm just not
the kind of girl who can have hardcore group-sex without forming some kind of
emotional attachment with the other participants.

"You do?" I asked.

Leah shrugged a shoulder. "Sure," she said. "She's not the sweetest girl I've
ever met, but she's probably your best bet at a healthy highschool
relationship. You won't find it with me or Jane."

Jane had been across the room snooping through medical cabinets as if looking
for something to use on me, but now she giggled and spun around. "And
definitely not with Alice," she added. "That girl is the definition of
unhealthy."

The reminder of Alice caused me to sag back against the pillow. Suddenly I was
tired. "She was here last night," I said. "Alice."

Jane nodded. She came around and perched on the other side of the bed, likewise
crossing her legs. But she was wearing cargoes and it wasn't as distracting as
Leah. "She's been here every night," she said. She picked up the get-well card
from the sidetable and looked inside it idly. "Carlisle lets her in and helps
her sneak out." She rolled her eyes and flapped the card, a touch of sibling
rivalry. "She's always been Carlisle's favorite."

"How did she find out I was here?" I asked.

"I called her as soon as you keeled over," Jane said, putting the card back.
"Told her the whole story." Then she smirked and placed a hand over mine with
mock tenderness. "I may've exaggerated how much of a slut you've been lately,
but that's only because I have no respect for you. So don't be mad, kay?"

I smiled and actually blushed. Back when I'd first met her, I'd wondered how
Alice could possibly be friends with such a troll, but after getting to know
her a little I found that it's quite easy to develop a taste for Jane's
debasement. Like Lauren, she had a flair for it, and deep down I don't think
either of them truly meant it. Lauren was working through her denial and Jane
was just having fun.

"Esme called her as well," Leah said. "Basically she told her off and gave her
the whole disappointed mother routine. She's still thinks she's human, I think.
She wanted Alice to come back and make things better somehow, but it didn't
matter. Alice was already on the plane."

Which meant she'd come back the very second she heard. Was it possible she
actually cared?

Jane grinned. "We haven't really talked to her—she's kind of pissed with us for
fucking you into a coma—but I think she wants to make up with you. Typical,
really. The first break up never takes."

"She left Vicky and Rose in Paris," Leah added, "so she's probably pretty
serious. What are you gonna do?"

I didn't know, but I felt a small thrill of triumph knowing Alice had left the
blonde and the redhead behind. I could just imagine Victoria, all hot and
bothered after Alice dashed out, standing around an empty hotel room with her
boobs spilling out of a red leather corset and a whip dangling in her hand, all
dressed up and no one to lash. Hard to believe Alice would run out on two women
as gorgeous as them, but I guess I had something they didn't; blood.

I mean, that's what it's all about, right? The sex was just an appetizer. Alice
had only fed from me a total of three times in one month; she was making me
last, savoring me. Her meal had been interrupted by the redhead, but now she
was back for more. And then what? Was she going to get sick of me eventually
and discard me like leftovers? Or did she really mean it when she said we could
be together forever? Is that even what I still wanted? I wasn't sure. Somehow I
didn't think I was ready for a serious long-term relationship, not considering
my tendency to dive face-first between any pair of legs that open either side a
moist pussy.

And what about Victoria? She hadn't been willing to let her little slave go
without a fight the first time and she probably wouldn't a second time, either.
And Leah and Jane? If I got back with Alice I'd have to stop seeing them and I
didn't know if I wanted to do that. The sex was amazing and I really did like
them.

And Lauren. As much as I hated deluding myself there really did seem to be
possibilities there. It would be difficult and I might end up getting hurt and
humiliated, but I'd been dreaming about it since middle school. She was
probably the only person I'd ever loved and maybe I was the only person she'd
ever loved as well. She was so angry and confused. Maybe I could make her
happy. Make her smile. And maybe we could have a real relationship, without
biting and blood drinking. Just me and a girl. A real girl.

And then there was mom to consider. She had never approved of my charming ex
and she had more reasons than she even knew about. Alice was wrong for me and
bad for my health, even I had to admit it by now. Mom would hate it if I got
back together with her. But like the doctor said; she wanted me, so badly. And
maybe he was right. If I could accept her, accept her and make her mine, then
maybe—

Suddenly I stopped thinking about it. It was too much. Too complicated. My head
was hurting, I was tired, and deep down I didn't really care. The way I was
feeling I could've been perfectly happy to spend the rest of my life utterly
alone if I could just avoid all this drama.

So I shrugged, heaving a sigh, and said: "I don't know."

Leah and Jane were still perched on the bed, one on each side, my bestfriends
with benefits, and they shared a glance. I looked down at the book in my lap
and then looked up with a shy smile.

"Anyway," I said. "Mom will probably be back soon, so…"

Jane smirked and leaned with her elbow beside me, gazing into my face. "So,
what?"

"Do you want us to leave?" Leah asked, although her smile said she knew I
didn't.

It was funny; a few hours ago I'd been determined to take a break from this
kind of stuff and get my life back on track. But now I figured that could wait
till I was out of the hospital. Despite the exhaustion, the wooziness, and the
splitting headache, I really couldn't let them leave without letting them fuck
me if they wanted.

"We could go in the bathroom," I suggested. "It's a little small, but…"

But it turned out to be big enough for the three of us. I was still a little
weak to walk, but Leah let me lean on her, and once we were inside, Jane was
nice enough to help me take off my hospital gown. I lifted my arms as she
pulled it over my head. All I had on underneath was a plain pair of panties and
soon those were gone too. It felt good to have their hands on my naked body and
while they were doing me I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror over the
sink. Jane was sucking on one of my tits and Leah was kissing my throat. Both
with their eyes closed. I stared at the reflection, taking in my dark eyes as
their lips tracked kisses across my ashen skin, and then I turned my face to
Leah's, capturing her tongue in my mouth and moaning as Jane's fingers entered
me.

—

I didn't remember getting back in bed, but when I woke up, mom was there. She
smiled to see me up and I cringed; why did she have to love me so much? I'd be
so much less guilty if she didn't care.

"Hey, sweetie," she said, coming forward to examine my face, as if the hospital
had hired her as a physician while I was asleep. "Up again, huh?"

She cooed these things as if consciousness were something to be proud of, but I
didn't feel the distinction. I raised up on my elbows and mom helped me sit up.

"Hey, mom," I said. "You know, you really don't need to hang around. They said
I'm fine now, remember?"

It was the wrong thing to say. With an over-protective mother it was never wise
to trivialize your health. "That's not what they said, Bella," she told me
sternly. "They said that you're going to have to be very careful for a few
days. You're still very weak. It was a very bad concussion, sweetie. And
concussions can be very serious."

Vaguely I wondered if she had any idea how many times she'd just said the word
"very," but obviously she was very convinced of the gravity of the situation. I
could've set her at ease by explaining that I'd been strong enough to eat two
different pussies without passing out, but I opted for discretion.

"I'm fine, mom," I said. "Really."

Mom looked at me with moist eyes. "No, you're not, Bella," she said. " And I
don't just mean your head."

She meant Alice. I sighed and looked away. The window curtains still held a
dull grey light, but the fluorescent bar over my bed was on. It was getting
dark.

Mom sat in the visitors chair and shuffled it forward. She hesitated for a
while and then she just said it. "Bella," she said. "What exactly happened with
you and that girl?"

I sighed and shrugged idly. I couldn't tell her the truth, but I supposed I
could give her the basic facts. "She dumped me," I said bluntly. "Just before
you found out."

She didn't know how to respond to that. She couldn't express regret over the
girl who'd managed to get her daughter's clothes off, but at the same time she
knew how badly I'd been hurt. Eventually she sighed and said: "I'm sorry,
sweetie."

I snorted sullenly, not looking at her. "It doesn't matter."

But my apathy seemed to alarm her. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it firmly.
"But it does matter, Bella," she insisted, forcing me to look at her. "Do you
have any idea how worried I've been about you, sweetie? I never knew there were
all these things going on inside you. And that scares me. If I'd known how bad
you were hurting, I never would've—"

She was working herself into a decent fit of maternal fretfulness, but luckily
for her, I'm not the kind of teen who enjoys theatrics—or making a big deal of
her feelings.

"Mom, mom," I said, interrupting her. "Listen, there's nothing going on inside
me, okay? I fucked up, that's all. I met a girl who liked me and I didn't know
any better. But it's over now, alright? You were right, anyway. She was bad for
me."

I'd caught her just before the tears began to fall, but she didn't seem
entirely placated. She sat back in her chair, half-wary, as if she thought
maybe I was just telling her what she wanted to hear. But my words had been
surprisingly truthful. I hadn't known what I was going to say when I opened my
mouth, but what came out seemed to be what I was feeling; Alice was a mistake.
A mistake with a beautiful ass who let me fuck her plenty of times, but a
mistake all the same.

Mom nodded, apparently convinced, and let go of my hand. "Well, I'm glad you're
mature enough to realize that," she said cautiously.

I gave her a smile, something reassuring. It wasn't entirely fake, either. I'd
always considered myself mature for my age, and it was nice that someone else
thought so too, despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

Then suddenly she leaned forward and took my hand again. "I just wish you'd
understand that you didn't have to lie to me about all this," she said with a
surprising earnestness. "You know I'll always love you no matter what, right?"

I felt a warmth wash over me. "I know, mom," I said, and I did. I'd never
doubted mom's love for a single second in all my life. Deep in my heart I
always knew that she was only person who'd ever loved me—and maybe the only
person that ever will.

She nodded, looked uncomfortable for a second, and went on: "And you know I'll
never judge you or anything like that, right? No matter what kind of person you
like dating, you'll always be my daughter. Okay?"

It sounded vaguely scripted, as if she'd read it off an advice column on the
internet, but I could appreciate the sentiment. Poorly worded, though. After
all, what if I enjoyed dating lesbian vampires who like to use me as a fuck-
snack as I indeed did enjoy dating? She should've rephrased her acceptance to
include human females of regular sex habits only.

In any case, it was an awkward subject, and I wasn't really comfortable with
mom knowing I had an appetite for pussy. It seemed a little personal. I'm sure
most gay people would flush with relief and gratitude at their parent's
acceptance, but the only thing I was flushed with was awkwardness. After all, I
wasn't just a lesbian, I was a raging lesbian slut; mom should be disproving.
Hell, even I disapproved of myself. In principle, at least.

Still, mom was under the impression that I was a lost teenager in need of an
understanding parent, and deep down maybe I was. I mean, anything's possible.
So I nodded and tried to smile appropriately. "Thanks, mom," I said.

She smiled back and patted my hand. A lovely moment; mother accepts daughter
despite daughter's taste for chicks. Very heart warming, but in all honesty I
wasn't really feeling it. I tugged my hand away discreetly and at the loss of
my hand mom leaned forward imploringly.

"Just promise me you won't lie to me anymore, okay? Whatever's happening in
your life, I want you to talk to me about it. I'm your mother, remember? I'm
supposed to give you advice about this kind of stuff."

I wasn't aware that motherhood entailed advising daughters on the correct
procedure to prostitute their bodies and blood to lesbian vampires, but I
nodded. "Okay, mom," I said. It didn't even occur to me that the promise itself
was another lie. "I will."

She smiled. "Thank you, sweetie," she said. "I love you."

I chuckled. "I love you too, mom," I said. "And thanks. For, you know. Caring
about me."

And thankfully, that was the end of the drama. Mom sat back in her chair with
her magazine and the rest of the evening proceeded with the two of us reading
and making idle conversation. She stayed right until visiting hours were over
and even then she was reluctant to go. It was sad, really. I was the center of
her life and she really knew nothing about me. Even now. Especially now. I felt
bad about that, but not as bad as I should've. I didn't seem to have strong
feeling about anything anymore. Lately my heart felt like it had been dimming
out little by little, like a candle flame drawing down, and I could feel it
now, sitting in my chest like a stone as I lay waiting for my final visitor of
the day:

Alice.

Jane said she'd been sneaking in every night and I knew she'd come tonight too.
I had no idea what she expected from me, but I felt strangely prepared. I'd
always been sympathetic to her situation as a soulless creature of darkness, so
I could probably forgive her for stalking and lying to me, the same way I'd
forgive a dog for biting me. It's not their fault, it's their nature. But I
didn't plan on taking her back. I just couldn't. Leah and Jane hadn't proven to
be a healthier choice so far, but now that I was over my brief bout of suicidal
depression, I felt that I could probably slow down and spend time with them
without eventually hospitalizing myself. Well, it might be fun to hospitalize
myself occasionally, but never as bad as this. I'm sure if I got my rest and
kept my strength up with three square meals a day there'd be plenty of blood to
spare for my two besties with benefits.

And then there was Lauren. I would have to feel her out a little, but maybe
Jane and Leah were right; maybe I should take a shot. I certainly had nothing
to lose, and I was probably cute enough to get her pants off at least once. It
would be cool to have sex with a real girl for once, a girl who actually makes
you work for it as opposed to these vampires who only required you to take your
clothes off. Lauren probably wouldn't be a particularly healthy choice either,
but at least she'd be someone I could go to the movies with or go to prom with.
That would be awesome.

But Alice.

What could she possibly expect from me at this point? She left me, dumped me,
jumped on a plane and replaced me with a french chick, a leggy blonde slave,
and a big-boobed dominatrix with fiery red hair. And now she says she still
loves me? Yeah, well. Fuck that. Maybe I don't have any pride or self-respect,
but I do have something, and that something wasn't interested in her craziness
anymore. My heart had had enough. I had other areas that were still interested
in her perky breasts and firm ass, but those areas were equally happy with Leah
and Jane. It was my heart I needed to listen to.

By now it was full dark outside the window and the room was lit in the pale
glow of the fluorescent bar over my bed. I'd put away my book and I was laying
on my side, eyes closed. I was trying to sleep, but I couldn't. My head was
still throbbing painfully which seemed to be the only noise at all in the
absolute silence of the hospital. I was in a convalescent ward on one of the
upper floors and it wasn't a very busy place—perfect for sneaking in without
being noticed.

It was a long time after dark before she finally came. I'd been almost asleep,
but my eyes snapped open when I heard the soft click of the door opening gently
and gently closing again. I didn't move. I was still laying on my side and I
lay there staring at the pillow, listening. First there was silence. Then I
heard another soft click. Then another. It sounded like heel-clicks on the hard
tiled floor. Alice was wearing heels? My curiosity was piqued and slowly I
lifted my head and looked.

My heart stopped.

It was Alice.

And oh my god.

She was wearing heels—black pumps—but that wasn't all she was wearing. Her body
was encased in a small black dress that clung to her curves like a glove. It
had spaghetti straps and her bare shoulders were ethereally pale in the
fluorescent light. A diamond pendant dangled in the nook of her collarbone and
diamonds dangled from her ears. She wore light makeup, mascara and shadow, and
her lips were painted a sensuous rubyred. They were smiling.

"Hey, baby," she said. "How are you feeling?"

Shocked. Excited. Confused. I'd been asked that question a few times today, but
this was the first time when I truly couldn't claim to be alright. Until that
moment, I'd been determined that I wasn't going to go back to her, but I
must've forgot how gorgeous she was. But I was reminded now. I was so blown
away by this sexy apparition in her sexy black dress that if I was capable of
speech I might've simply broke down and begged her to take me back.

I stared. She registered my expression and looked away bashfully before looking
back. She stood on a tilted hip and the dress was so short that I could see all
of her legs. They were long, slim, impossibly smooth. She was carrying in her
hand a single red rose and she held it coyly at her chest. She giggled shyly
and gestured with the rose at her dress.

"Can you tell I'm trying to win you back?" she asked. "I didn't want to be too
obvious."

I swallowed, recovering slightly. It felt like I hadn't seen her for years,
even though it had only been a couple weeks. I couldn't believe how beautiful
she was. And how pathetic I was. Because it wasn't just horniness. My heart,
which I'd been ready to declare dead only hours ago, was raging into new life.
I was looking at Alice and I wanted her with every fiber of my being; heart,
body, and soul.

And she knew it. She smiled with her scarlet lips and waved the rose at my bed.
"May I?" she asked.

But that's all it took to snap me out of it. The thought of her climbing into
my bed dressed like that filled me with a strange fear, a cold and unknown
wrongness, and the word that came out was: "No."

Her back straightened. "No?"

I looked at her, almost as if I was sorry. "No," I repeated.

The hand holding the rose dropped to her side limply. "Why not?"

"I'm not your girlfriend anymore, Alice," I told her gently, as if trying to
explain it. "You dumped me. Remember?"

She stepped toward my bed imploringly. "That was a mistake, baby," she said,
leaning over me to stroke my hair. "The worst mistake of my life. Please, you
have to believe me. Vicky caught me in a moment of weakness, that's all it was.
She took advantage of us both."

I shook my head, turning away from her touch. "It doesn't matter," I said.

"It does matter," she insisted. "The only reason I left was because I didn't
think you could love me anymore. If I knew you still loved me…"

I frowned at her. "Who said I still love you?"

This seemed to take her by surprise. Her hand paused in its stroking and then
she stood up. "Well, I just assumed," she said. "Jane told me all the stuff you
were doing. And you weren't eating and weren't sleeping. I thought…"

I snorted. "Thought what? That I was so depressed over losing you that I went
and fucked myself into a coma with two of your sisters?"

She stood silently, holding the rose in both hands. I shook my head.

"I didn't do all that because of you, Alice," I told her. "I just thought
they're hot, that's all."

She had no reply and I shook my head again.

"God, don't you get it, Alice? How could I possibly want to be in a
relationship with you again? I mean, you never even loved me. You tried, and I
can respect that, but in the end… it was just lust. But you know what? That's
okay. Because maybe it was the same for me too. I really liked you, Alice, I
did, but… I don't think I ever loved you."

"I don't believe you," she whispered.

"It doesn't matter what you believe."

Her eyes narrowed. "Yes, it does."

"No, it doesn't," I said, raising my voice slightly. "And why are we even
having this conversation, anyway? You wanna know the truth, Alice? The truth
is, you betrayed me. You fed me lies to keep me happy and docile and the whole
time all you were trying to do was fulfill some fucked up fantasy of the
perfect blood-slut. That's all it was."

But she hadn't seemed to have heard. "When I believe something," she said,
glaring at me with her honey-colored eyes. "It matters."

I looked at her. Then I looked away.

It was hopeless. Her angry eyes had turned me on slightly and I had to fight
back the urge to simply give up and give her what she wanted. But deep in my
heart I knew that all this was pointless. Lust isn't love, but she was too deep
in her delusions to realize that. She still wanted to believe there was
something special about what she felt for me.

Alice's expression softened as the silence stretched and she gestured again at
the bed with the rose. "May I please get in the bed, baby?" she asked. "Just to
talk?"

I didn't answer. I didn't think we had anything to talk about.

"Please, baby?" she pleaded. Then she changed her tactics and assumed a flirty
tilt to her hips. "I'm wearing special panties under my dress," she teased.
"Don't you wanna see?"

I looked at her, at her smirking ruby lips. She must have a pretty shallow
opinion of me if she thought all my hurt and frustration would melt away at the
sight of a sexy dress and the tease of sexy underwear. But I guess I really was
that shallow, because I could feel my resolve weakening. I still didn't plan to
take her back, but I had delusions of my own, delusions that said it would be
okay to look at Alice naked, to let Alice into my bed, that it was perfectly
safe, that it wouldn't mean anything. So I sighed and threw back the covers
silently, feeling my heart drop as if I'd just given up somehow.

Alice smiled and immediately pulled off her dress, taking it by the hem and
lifting it up over her head, revealing her body in one glorious motion. I
stared. Her panties were black lace and I felt a dizzying wave of longing wash
over me as my eyes settled on the tiny triangle of black silk that concealed
her pussy. I'd always loved her pussy. Alice giggled and twirled once, giving
me a glimpse of how the black lace hugged the contours of her lovely ass, and
then she stepped out of her shoes, climbed into the bed, and pulled the covers
over us.

The first thing she did was push my hospital gown up over my breasts so that
she could settle her naked body against mine. I didn't resist, but my head was
turned aside on the pillow and I wouldn't look at her. It felt so wrong and yet
so right at the same time, the warm weight on top of me, the softness of her
breasts, the hot scent of lavender that was swirling through my splitting head.
My pussy was throbbing but my heart felt like it was bleeding.

"See, baby?" she said, cupping my cheek and turning my face to hers. "Doesn't
this feel good?"

I looked up into her gorgeous face. It was hovering over mine, our lips only
inches apart. "Why couldn't you just be honest with me, Alice?" I asked. "Even
if you only wanted my blood. I would've been okay with that. You didn't have to
pretend."

"It's not only your blood I want, Bella," she whispered. "It's everything. It's
all of you. I love you, baby, don't you understand?"

I didn't reply. She kissed me once on the lips and started stroking my hair.

"I know I messed up, baby, but I'm going to make it up to you," she said.
"You'll see. I'm going to treat you so perfectly. I'll make you happy, baby, I
promise."

She was nuzzling my neck and I rolled my eyes.

"Why don't you just bite me instead?" I said. "We both know that's all you
really want."

Her hand froze in my hair. She looked into my eyes.

"Why are you being so difficult, Bella?" she said. "Can't you see how much I
love you?"

I looked up at her passively. "No," I said. "Not really."

A coldness came into her pretty eyes. Then her hand clenched in my hair, almost
painfully.

"Then you're an ungrateful bitch," she hissed, her eyes glistening with hurt.

I smiled at her, happy to have broke through the façade. "I'm not ungrateful,
Alice," I said. "I just don't like pretending, that's all. I mean, why can't we
be honest with each other? You're a vampire, I get it. So fuck me and bite me
and hurry back to your mistress. I'm tired."

She shook her head, releasing her grip on my hair. "You really don't get it, do
you Bella?" she said. "I was honest. You were the one who lied."

I smirked. "Me?"

"Yes," she said. She cupped my cheeks in her hands, looking into my face. "You.
Don't you remember all those promises you made, baby? You promised me you'd
never cheat on me. You did. You promised me I'd be the only person you'd ever
love. You stopped. I told you right from the beginning, Bella, that the only
thing required to make this relationship work was for you to accept me into
your heart as I accepted you, and one of us did not. Do you know who that one
was?"

"You," I said. "It was you."

She looked at me sadly. "No," she said. "It was never me. I loved you with
everything I had, baby. Everything. And rather than return that love, you chose
to instead to fuck Victoria. And now you've been fucking Leah and Jane. You
betrayed me first, Bella. And now you're still betraying me."

I frowned. "How could I betray someone who never loved me to begin with?"

"I did love you!" she hissed.

It was loud in the silent hospital room and we both paused. I could feel the
softness of her breasts against my chest and I wanted very badly to wrap my
arms around her and stroke her creamy back. But I didn't. I waited and finally
she looked into my eyes and fixed her expression into something pleading and
vulnerable.

"I did love you, Bella," she whispered. "I still do. Please, baby. Tell me you
love me too."

The raw longing in her voice almost made me relent. Tears prickled my eyes.
"What about Victoria?" I asked.

She shook her head savagely. "I don't care about Vicky," she said, almost
spitting the name. "Or Rose, or Jane, or Leah, or any of them." Then she held
my face in her hands and looked into my eyes. "All I want is you, baby."

I almost believed her. My heart was struggling in my chest and I was about to
say something, something that would repair everything and join us together
again, but I hesitated too long. Alice smiled and tilted her head slightly.

"Do you remember when I spoke to you about destiny, Bella?" she asked.

To be honest, I'd never listened very hard. But I remembered the gist of it, so
I nodded.

"I told you that me and you were always going to be together," she said. "And
that nothing will ever come between us. That no matter what happens, one way or
another, we will end up together. Do you remember that?"

I looked away wearily. She took it for a nod.

"Well, I still believe that," she said, turning my face back to hers gently.
"All couples have problems, baby. As a vampire our problems are bound to be a
little more serious than most couples', but they're still only problems. We can
solve them if we try."

"Alice…"

"Please, baby. It can still be perfect. All we have to do is forgive each other
and keep loving each other. That's all we need to do, baby. Please?"

I stared up at her. Her face was so close to mine, so beautiful. I couldn't
think. All I could do was stare, and finally she smiled and started stroking my
hair.

"It's okay," she whispered. "I understand, baby. You don't have to take me back
right now if you don't want. Remember when we first met? I told you that love
takes time and we have to go slow. Well, forgiveness takes time, too. So we'll
go slow, okay? I'll give you all the space you need. I'll wait forever if I
have to, because in the end…it's destiny. Neither of us can escape it, Bella.
It's gonna be me and you forever until the end of time and no one is ever going
to change that. Not me, not you, not Vicky, not your mom, no one. I'm gonna
love you forever, Bella. All you have to do is let me."

I'd never been so confused before in my life. Every fiber of my being cried out
for the girl on top of me, but something was holding me back. "I'll think about
it," I said.

This seemed to please her. She smiled and gave me a little kiss. "Thank you,
baby," she said. "And I promise, I'll give you as much space as you need, but
tonight… May I stay just for tonight?"

I nodded; it seemed harmless enough and I didn't want to lose the warmth and
the soft press of her breasts. Not yet. "Okay."

She gave me another little kiss. "Thank you," she said. "You're so beautiful,
Bella. It's going to be so hard resisting you, but I will. Because I love you.
I know you'll come back to me. I know you will."

She was kissing me as she spoke and now she kissed me again, once, twice, three
times. I lay there passively, eyes open, a dull throb between my legs. She gave
a little moan on the last kiss and then she pulled back and looked into my
eyes.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Before you sleep," she whispered, "may I have one last special kiss?" She
caressed my throat as she said it so I'd know exactly what she meant. I felt a
shiver and watched her stare at my neck, almost hypnotized. "It's been so long
since I tasted you. No one tastes like you, baby. You're my special one.
Please? I think I might die if I don't taste you right now."

My heart turned to stone. I'd known before she'd even got into the bed that it
was only my blood she wanted. Yet even now she pretended to love me. I didn't
understand it but I didn't care anymore.

"Why didn't you just do it while I was unconscious?" I asked.

She'd lowered her lips to my neck and she kissed my tender throat, once, twice.
"You have to let me, baby," she whispered. "It's very important."

"Is that a vampire thing?"

"No," she whispered, kissing again, again. "It's a personal thing. Please,
baby? Let me taste you one last time."

She was quivering with anticipation. I'd put my hands at her waist and I could
feel her skin rippling. So I sighed, wrapped my arms around her back, and said:
"Okay."

Her fangs pierced me instantly. I gave a little cry. As the first gush of blood
entered her mouth she whimpered and thrust her body against me convulsively. I
lay there listening to the sucking sounds. One of her hands was clenched in my
hair behind my head and slowly she raised up, lifting me in her arms until I
was sitting in the bed with her straddling my lap.

I turned my face to expose more of my neck and her hand clenched tighter.
Painfully. I could see the heartrate monitor beside the bed. It was silent, but
I could see the green line jerk and flatten with each beat of my heart, and I
stared at it, watching the spikes come faster and faster. Alice wrenched aside
my head a little more and sobbed eagerly into the wound, sucking with renewed
vigor. Already I could feel myself failing and I was still staring at the
heartrate monitor. The excitement was fading and the green line was spiking
slower and slower as my heart wound down. I laid my head on her shoulder and
stroked her back as if to encourage her. The spikes in the green line were
getting weaker and weaker. I inhaled her scent, her lovely lavender scent, and
I blinked slowly, watching the monitor count away the remaining beats of this
heart that had and will probably always belong to Alice.

—

***** Chapter 16 *****
—

Chapter 16:

—

I'd told Lauren I'd be back at school the day after tomorrow, but it was Monday
when I finally went back. Mom had taken me home Thursday morning and given me
Friday off, and I spent the weekend catching up on so much homework that I
genuinely wished I'd never come out of the coma. The pain in my head had
abated, but my life was still a complicated mess of horny vampires and
repressed lesbian bullies, and honestly I was sick of it.

I kept thinking about Alice. Such a lovely little liar. She claimed it wasn't
my blood she wanted and yet before she left that night she simply had to bite
me, didn't she? I'd almost forgotten how intense it was when Alice fed from me.
Leah and Jane had simply been snacking; Alice had feasted.

I'd had another transfusion in the night and in the morning I woke with the
strange realization that I still loved her. Like, real love. Not lust, not
attraction, but love. Despite the lies and the secrets and the overwhelming
wrongness, I did, for some reason, truly love her. I'd never stopped, really.
From the first moment I'd laid eyes on her I'd known that I'd never love anyone
else. She was the girl of my dreams and deep in the bottom of my heart I knew
that it would beat solely for her until it stopped beating at all.

But so what? I've never been the kind of girl who places a great deal of
importance on her own feelings. I didn't care if I loved her or not. It didn't
even seem to matter. What concerned me was her own feelings. And maybe she did
love me, in her own way. She loved my blood, certainly, and my scent, and
probably my boobs, too. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough. After all, what
is love if not attraction? That's all a relationship is, really. Attraction
that solidifies over time into attachment. Soulmates and destiny aside, Alice
and I did share a disturbingly intense chemistry. But no, the problem wasn't if
she loved me. The problem was that her love seemed to be defined by little more
than lust, obsession, possessiveness, and the desire to drink my blood. It
sounded hot in theory—and even while it was happening—but in principle it was
probably wasn't very healthy.

And that was the real problem; Alice was a bad person and she was turning me
into a bad person, too. The kind of person who lies to her mom, skips school,
and routinely fucks herself in a stupor. She'd had a negative impact on my home
life, my school life, and my sex life—well, I suppose it was arguable what
impact she'd had on my sex life. Technically it was bad to be a slut, but it
seemed pretty cool while you were doing it.

In any case, it was time to make some changes in my life. Vampires were bad for
me—Alice worst of all—and it was time to distance myself from them before I
fall completely into depravity. Once upon a time I'd cherished the idea of
being a vampire like Alice and standing beside her forevermore. And even now I
couldn't deny that the idea of being a vampire—even a single vampire—was still
extremely intoxicating to me. But no longer. As difficult as it would be, I
felt that I should at least try to be a decent person from now on. It would be
a shame to miss out on immortality and a sexy vampire makeover, but I'm pretty
sure mom wouldn't approve of me as a slutty demoness, and I didn't want to
disappoint her anymore. I'd probably make a stupid vampire anyway. Girls like
Leah and Victoria made it seem easy, but I'd be such a clumsy seductress that
I'd probably starve. Besides, they probably wouldn't even want me in the coven.
And there was no guarantee that I could trust Alice to turn me, anyway. Passion
doesn't last forever and it's not like she enjoys my conversation so much that
she'd want to keep me around for all eternity after she gets sick of my blood.

No, it was time to accept my destiny; not as Alice's soulmate, but as a human.
A dumb, boring, pathetic human. It had worked for me for the first sixteen
years of my life, and I was pretty sure it would be fine for the rest of it.

These were my resolutions coming out the hospital. And for a while I actually
kept them. Mom had given me my cellphone back, but I didn't call Jane or Leah,
not even when mom went to work and left me all alone. I wanted to, I really
did, but I didn't; I masturbated on the couch instead. I was still a little
woozy and I didn't want to climb the stairs for the comfort and privacy of my
own room. Besides, the house and empty and I'd kept my clothes on. It wasn't
the most elegant solution to my various frustrations, but still; it was
progress on my path to decency. Kind of.

To be honest, my recent stay intensive care hadn't actually caused any real
revolution inside me, and I certainly hadn't seen any light or been visited by
any angels that inspired to me change my ways before it was too late. The only
angel who'd come to me was the one who'd come in a black dress and sucked my
blood with bloodred lips. And frankly that sounded better than some winged
virgin in a long white gown that didn't even show her legs. Besides, I'm pretty
sure angels are straight, so they probably wouldn't bother with a girl like me.
No, my heart was as shallow and whorish as it ever was, so in this instance it
was not the best advice to follow it. My new-found desire to be a decent person
was mostly intellectual. I knew it was bad to be around vampires, and I knew it
was bad to bleed everyday, and I knew it was bad to date an obsessive psycho
like Alice. Therefore it was probably best to stop. It would be difficult, but
I would do it. Or try, anyway.

My first trial came that very first night I was home. I'd gone to bed and I was
almost asleep when I heard a tapping at my window. I rolled over and there was
Alice's face; smiling at me through the glass with eyes that were big and
beautiful and begging to come in. I felt a jolt in my heart, but I frowned. I
got out of bed and opened the window slightly, not enough to let her in, but
enough to talk. A cold wind rushed over my shoulders and arms—I was wearing
shorts and a tanktop—and I said:

"What do you want?"

It wasn't what she wanted to hear, but she flickered her beautiful smile at me.
"Aren't you going to let me in?"

I shook my head, hugging my arms. "No."

"Why not?" she asked, cocking her head.

I sighed patiently. "I thought you were going to give me space, Alice?"

"Yeah, but after last night…"

"You asked to bite me and I let you," I interrupted. "That's all. I didn't take
you back."

She didn't reply, she just looked at me sadly. I looked away uncomfortably.

"Is that all?" I asked.

Her face darkened. "What if it's not?" she demanded. "What if I want more?"

It sounded like a threat and I felt a thrill pass through me. If she wanted to
come into my room and rape me, well, I guess I had to admit that I was pretty
okay with that. But I knew she'd never do it. Despite her stalker-like
tendencies, she had always been fixated on my consent when it came to sex and
bloodletting, and I knew she'd never force me against my will. She was only
trying to intimidate me. So I shrugged, concealing my excitement, and decided
not to encourage her. "That's your problem," I said, and then I closed the
window.

It was funny how rejection brings out the worst in a girl. Back when we first
started dating, she'd been the sweetest, nicest, most loveliest girl
imaginable. And now, at the first sign of resistance in the girl she supposedly
loved, she was resorting to intimidation and coercion. It's a shame I wasn't
stupid enough to fall for it. Not yet, at least.

I went back to bed and of course Alice didn't leave. Her dark and pretty face
stayed in the window, glaring at me sullenly like a petulant child who was
denied a treat. I rolled over to face the wall, but I could feel her eyes on
me, longing, unblinking, roaming the shape of my body under the covers. Soon I
was tingling in several places. It should've creeped me out, but it only seemed
to make me horny. Tension built between my legs and after a while it became
obvious that there was no way I'd ever get to sleep unless I relieved it. I
seriously considered taking her back right then, but apparently I wasn't quite
that superficial. I could've closed the curtains, but I didn't want her to know
she was affecting me. And maybe I liked how she was affecting me. So I did the
only thing I could do. I slipped a hand inside my shorts and I did it very
gently, very discreetly, staring at the wall and keeping my breathing as
shallow as possible, trying not to move my hips at all. My mouth went dry as I
panted quietly in the dark, and I fantasized about her threat, pretending to
resist as she tore off my clothes and forced me into orgasm before biting me
until I actually died. It was an intense climax, and I couldn't stop the
strangled moan that escaped me.

It took me a few minutes to stop trembling and catch my breath. I hoped she
hadn't noticed, but I didn't even know if she was still watching anymore. I
rolled over to find out and her face was still there; only this time there was
a subtle curve to her lips. She knew. I blinked at her, marveling at how sexy
her mouth was, and then I rolled back to the wall and fell asleep.

The rest of the weekend was uneventful. Mom went to the store a few times and
each time I resisted the urge to call Leah and Jane. But that didn't make the
urge go away and I relieved the strain using more personal methods. Alice came
again every night and every night she'd stare at me through the window until I
fell asleep, clutched to the drainpipe outside the window like a bat or a
lizard. She seemed to be making the final transition from metaphorical stalker
to legitimate stalker, and she didn't even have the grace to hide behind a
bush; she did it openly, brazenly. I had a feeling she was lurking outside the
house during the day, too. I was also collecting a large array of voice and
text messages asking me if I was ready to talk yet. Either she had nothing
better to do with her time, or she really and truly missed me. Or she was
simply trying to intimidate me back into a relationship. Maybe it was all
three.

But strangely, I found it all very untroubling. Even flattering. Any ordinary
girl would probably be repulsed by such sick and creepy behavior. But I'm no
ordinary girl. And neither was Alice. After all, this wasn't a human-psycho,
this was a vampire-psycho. A female one, with a pretty smile and a perky ass.
There wasn't much she could do that I wouldn't like and want more of. And, of
course, there was the fact that I was still mostly in love with her.

It was actually a very effective tactic. It had worn me down quite a bit, even
after just a couple days. She was there Sunday night when I fell asleep and
when I woke up on Monday morning her face was still in the window. I lay there
blinking at her sleepily for a while and then I sat on the edge of the bed and
looked at her some more. The eye contact had made my pussy start tingling, and
as I gathered my clothes I had to fight the urge to get changed right in front
of her. I didn't know why it seemed so tempting to give her a flash of boob,
but I explored the temptation further in the shower and realized that it was
just plain hot—even if your only imagining it. When I went back to my room,
fully dressed, she was still there in the window. I let her watch me brush my
hair and don my leather-lace collar, but I didn't let her see anything else.

The stalking continued on the way to school. Mom wanted to drive me, but I told
her I needed the exercise, so I ended up walking. I was unsurprised to see a
chrome silver Volvo waiting on the sidewalk when I left the house, but the
driver might've been surprised when I walked right past and continued down the
sidewalk. Surprised, and maybe slightly angered, because it followed me the
whole way, creeping along behind at a brooding pace. I looked over my shoulder
from time to time, but mostly I was wondering if she'd looked at my ass at all.
I was wearing jeans, tight ones, and they did look pretty good on me. It was
weird how I felt about all this. I'd always hated stalker-villains on TV shows,
but those villains were never as well developed as Alice—or as sexy. I
certainly wasn't afraid. Hit and run wasn't her style and they didn't do drive-
bys in Forks. I honestly thought she only wanted to be near me. I'm sure most
stalkers use that exact same excuse, but like I said; Alice was very hot.

By the time I got to school I was in a strangely good mood and my thoughts had
turned to Lauren. We'd had a moment or two in the hospital, and I wasn't sure
if that meant we could pretend to be friends or not. But I got a nice surprise.
As I approached her in the corridor outside homeroom she did a quick double
take, as if she couldn't believe it was really me. She only eyed me for a
second before looking away, but my heart fluttered and I had strong hopes that
hers did too. She was standing with Angela and Jessica, and none of them seemed
particularly happy to see me, but they didn't bludgeon me with their textbooks
either, so I assumed we were all friends again. Angela even dared to mention
that it was nice I wasn't dead. She phrased it more tactfully, of course, but
that was the basic sentiment. Lauren said nothing, but she kept glancing at me,
and I had to try very hard not to smile at her.

Then it was time for class. Several teachers and even a couple classmates
congratulated me on being alive and back at school, although I had no idea why
they bothered. Sometimes people just don't make sense. None of these idiots had
ever cared about me before, yet now—for some quixotic reason—they were all
moved to relief that I hadn't perished over the weekend. I could understand the
teacher's relief; a dead student would be a hassle on the rollcall. But I had
no idea why my illustrious classmates gave a particular fuck.

In any case, the day went on and my good mood persisted. I stuck as close as I
could to Lauren, trailing her in the halls like a lost kitten, sitting with her
in every class we had. She didn't talk to me much in front of other people, but
when it was just us two, she was actually very conversational, just like the
old days, back before I started dating Alice. She seemed to like me a lot
better now that I was single. And I seemed to like her a lot better, too.
Something had changed between us recently, and even if neither of us could
pinpoint what it was, it seemed obvious. She hadn't called me dyke once all
day, and she seemed mellower somehow, even smiling sometimes—and not an evil
smile either, just a normal casual smile. She looked pretty when she smiled.
Then again, she looked pretty when she scowled, too.

Even I seemed to have changed slightly. I was no longer meek and timid—just
calm and passive. She was still mean to me in various ways, but instead of
glaring and making some feeble retort, I simply smiled and agreed. Which would
make her smile too, as if she was glad I wasn't upset. As if she was only
playing anyway.

Alice wasn't pleased with any of this, of course, but that only seemed to make
my heart flutter harder. Before lunch, I was sitting with Lauren in History,
and she said something that made me giggle, some disrespectful joke about some
respected historical figure. It was just a giggle but the giggle died on my
lips when I saw how Alice was glaring at me from across the room. Jealousy,
hurt, longing. So many things were in her honey-colored eyes. I felt a flicker
of pity, but I'd be lying if I said the anger in those eyes didn't mostly just
make me horny—for Lauren. So I gave Alice a smile, just a small one, and then I
turned back to Lauren.

Lauren and I walked to the cafeteria together and together we stood in the
line. Angela was with us, so it didn't seem suspicious. I glanced at the Cullen
table as I got my lunch, and of course Alice was there glaring at me. Leah and
Jane were with her, both smirking, but there was no sign of the blonde or the
redhead. They were probably still in Paris, but they'd be back eventually.
Another reason why it would never work with me and Alice. Alice may have turned
stalker, but Victoria was the real villain of the story. She'd never give up on
her pixie slave and she'd already proven that she'd do anything to have
her—even fuck me. The woman was dangerous, obviously.

For a second I actually considered sitting with Alice. I hadn't spoken to Leah
or Jane in a while and just because me and Alice weren't dating there was no
reason we couldn't be friends. But then I remembered that I was trying to avoid
the vampires, so I followed Lauren and Angela and sat with my fellow humans.
They weren't as sexy as their demonic counterparts, but that was good for my
appetite. It was hard to eat with Leah and Jane, knowing that there were more
delicious things at the table than sandwiches and potato chips. It was the
first time I'd eaten lunch at school in over two weeks. My life was healthier
already, although not quite as tasty. Personally, I preferred pussy, but I'm
the first to admit I'm a total freak.

My good mood lasted through the remainder of the day. Lauren walked me to my
locker after school, a truly extravagant gesture that wasn't lost on me.
Unfortunately, Alice had walked with me too, only Alice had followed at a
distance. Lauren was talking about some movie she'd been planning on seeing,
but then she noticed Alice down the hall and paused to glare. I noticed she'd
stopped talking and turned away from my open locker to see what she was glaring
at. Alice was standing there, a short distance away, leaning against the wall
and watching us darkly.

"Jeez," Lauren said. "What a stalker."

I smiled. She didn't know half of it. "Yeah," I said. "She was calling me all
weekend, trying to make up. You wouldn't think I'd be so hard to get over,
would you?"

She snorted. "Fuck no."

I closed the locker door and shrugged the strap of my backpack over my
shoulder. We stood there looking at Alice, Alice not flinching. "You know she
followed me to school this morning?" I mentioned. "I was walking and her car
was creeping along behind me the whole time."

"Seriously?"

"Mmhm."

Lauren snorted, not taking her eyes off Alice. "Wow," she said. "That's fucked
up. You should call the cops or something."

"I'm not afraid of her," I said, which was true. I'd always had a strange trust
for Alice, and that didn't go away just because she'd lied to me and betrayed
me. Besides, even if she did snap and try to take me by force, I'd probably
only be relieved that I wouldn't have to resist her anymore. "She just misses
me, that's all."

"You should be afraid," Lauren said. She was still glaring at Alice and now she
tossed her chin at her. "Look at the freak. She's like a fucking vampire or
something."

I smirked and turned to look again. She wasn't wearing a cape, but her
expression did seem rather vampiric; dark, intense, pale and beautiful. Alice
glowered at us both for a second, and then finally she turned and walked away.
She was wearing jeans so I checked out her ass quickly, my heart giving a quick
pang. Lauren didn't seem to have any similar interest, and after Alice was
gone, she shook her head and turned back to me.

"Creepy bitch," she said. "But hey, speaking of vampires, have you seen that
new vampire movie that just came out?"

I adjusted the strap of my backpack and shook my head. "Nah," I said. "I'm not
a huge fan of vampires."

Ironically, this was true. Being bitten had its thrills, but I'd never really
been drawn to Alice's vampiric side; I was more into how she was willing to
have sex with me.

"I haven't seen it either," Lauren said. "I was gonna go see it with Angela but
she already saw it with her boyfriend."

"Why not go by yourself?"

She shrugged, not looking at me. "I don't know," she said, sweeping her eyes
over the ground, almost shyly. "I hate going to movies by myself."

My heart gave a quick flutter. Was that another signal? Was she trying to get
me to ask her out? I couldn't be sure, so I shrugged cautiously. "What about
your boyfriend?" I asked.

She snorted, still not looking at me. "Fuck that," she said. "I'd rather go
with you."

Another flutter. But she'd said it with heavy sarcasm, so I still couldn't be
sure. I was flustered and I didn't know what to say, so I just smiled and
passed it off as a joke. Lauren glared at me, waiting to see if I'd pull an
engagement ring out of my pocket perhaps, and then she snorted and shook her
head.

"Well, whatever," she said. "Vampire's suck, anyway."

Then she turned and started away toward her own locker—which was on the other
side of the building. Lauren was wearing jeans too, but her ass wasn't quite as
maddening as Alice's. Her hips were slimmer and she was a little flatter.
Still; I'd love to get my hands on it.

Lauren remained on my mind the whole way home, even with Alice's silver Volvo
nosing along behind me like a sullen elephant. I replayed the conversation in
my head, analyzing every word and gesture for hidden hints and subtexts. Leah
and Jane had confirmed that Lauren was indeed attracted to me, but could it be
possible that she'd actually go out with me? Her popularity at school meant a
lot to her, but then again, she wasn't exactly a sensitive personality. Would
she really care if suddenly half the school stopped talking to her because she
was dating a girl? For that matter, would her popularity even suffer at all?
Unlike me, she was blonde and she wore nice clothes. Maybe everyone would be so
distracted by her platinum sheen and designer labels that they wouldn't even
notice she was a lesbian.

I just wish I knew if she'd actually go out with me. But no matter how much and
how hard I contemplated it, I just couldn't come to any conclusions. Yes; she
was attracted me. But she was also a violent homophobe. How did that work,
anyway? Was she straight and simply confused? Was she bi? Was she secretly gay
and only pretending to be a small-minded troll? It seemed strange such
opposites could exist in one person. But I suppose there was a more important
question; was her attraction to me strong enough to overcome her basic denial
of all things lesbian? I didn't know, and the worst thing was that there was no
easy way to find out. I couldn't simply ask her out. I couldn't even attempt to
flirt with her. If I didn't handle this situation with extreme care I'd simply
scare her away and I'd never find out if I could've gotten her bra off someday.

By the time I got home the only thing I'd figured out was that it would be
pretty cool if she actually did want to date me. It would be nice to hold her
hand, and kiss her, and maybe take her to prom. The sex would probably be
pretty good, too, with all that repression to work through. But I already knew
all that, and it didn't really help determine the probability of these things
happening, so I simply went upstairs and tossed my backpack on the bed,
deciding to stop thinking about it. I had a more pressing decision to make;
homework or masturbate? Thinking about Lauren's potential sexual prowess had
made me mildly horny and fantasies might be the closest I ever get to her
anyway, so I decided homework could wait a while.

I sighed, and out of instinct, I glanced at the window. But there was no one
there. I went to close the curtains, just in case, but then I saw her; out in
the backyard. Alice. There was an old junglegym out there and she was sitting
on the swing, swaying gently to and fro, hands clutching the chains. The sky
was gray and a wind stirred the fine black locks of her pixie-like hair. She'd
been watching my window and she smiled when she saw me. My heart skipped a beat
and for a second I wondered why I didn't just take her back. It would be so
much easier than Lauren and she had such a nicer ass. But then I remembered
that technically she was stalking me and the more appropriate reaction would be
fear and hysteria. I didn't call the police, and I certainly didn't faint from
terror, but I did close the curtains. The less she saw of me, the quicker she'd
get over me. And maybe, eventually, I'd get over her, too.

I sighed and looked about my room. I spent a few seconds feeling bad about how
I was hurting Alice, and then I went into the bathroom and fantasized about
taking her back, Lauren momentarily forgotten.

But my attention span is generally very short and soon Lauren was back on my
mind. I thought about her and her signals while I ate dinner with mom and I
wondered if I should ask for mom's advice on the subject. She'd made it clear
that she wanted to be involved in my life, but somehow I wasn't really
comfortable. Mom appeared to be okay with my orientation, but it probably
wasn't the best news she'd ever gotten. It would've been cruel to actually
force her to be overly-supportive. Besides, I seriously doubted mom would be
encouraging of me pursuing another relationship so soon after the tragedy of my
first attempt at romance. And she was probably right, too, which was never what
a teenager wanted to hear.

No, what I needed was a friend, someone unrelated that I could talk to, someone
who knew what I was going through and knew exactly what to say. A BFF, a
bestie, a lesbro. Someone with whom I could share my hopes and suspicions,
comfortable in the knowledge that they would be reckless and immature enough to
encourage me to move forward regardless of the probability that I'd likely fall
on my face in a humiliation of scorn and rejection. And then I realized that I
did have such a friend:

Jane.

Strictly speaking, she wasn't actually a friend, more like some chick who likes
to fuck, bite, and make fun of me. But I had her phone number, and she was
obviously in favor of me making a move on Lauren. Maybe she could give me the
final bit of encouragement I needed, or better yet, maybe she could provide
some vital piece of advice, some unbeatable tactic that would secure my success
in the endeavor to remove Lauren of her panties.

But I'm supposed to be avoiding the vampires, aren't I? Damn. Nothing's ever
easy, isn't it? Well, maybe there was no reason to completely avoid them. I
mean, it's not like she could corrupt me too much over the phone. Maybe we
could be just friends. Like, plain ordinary friends, without the fucking and
biting and stuff. After all, Jane wasn't a bad person really, just sadistic and
kind of sociopathic. It was wrong to reject people for who they were, anyway. I
needed to be understanding and sympathetic. And I really needed advice about
Lauren.

So after convincing myself that it didn't make me a weak person for breaking my
vow to avoid vampires after only three days—it was a new record, really—I
settled on my bed and called Jane. The curtains were still closed and it was
dark outside. I wondered if Alice was out there, clutched to the drainpipe like
a ninja and staring into the curtains, picturing me on the other side, so close
yet so far—

"Yo, dodo," Jane greeted me cheerfully in the phone. "What's up? Glad you
called, I could use a booty call. Leah's got a date, if you can believe that.
Some blonde bitch who wears more makeup than the Joker. Alice isn't putting
out, either. She ain't even here. You know, you really messed her up, girl.
Alice used to be the fuck-bunny of the family, now she's practically a nun. I
haven't fucked her in ages! It's sad, almost. She's great with a strap-on, have
you ever done it? You wouldn't think it, because she's so small, but trust me;
she's got some thrust in those little hips of hers. She'd fuck you in half if
you scream for her just right. So, anyway, how you doing? I haven't seen you
in, like, days. Don't tell me you're going nun too. I'd hate to have to find
some other bloodbag."

Sometimes it was hard to tell if she was only pretending to be a teenage girl
or she really was a teenage girl. Either way, it was an impressive burst of
blonde chatter, albeit a little explicit, and I didn't even attempt to match
it. "Um, hey," I said, somehow figuring I was supposed to extend some kind of
greeting. "Hi."

She chuckled. "Hey," she said. "So, what's up, did you wanna get together?"

I felt a familiar flash of temptation. After all, it would be so easy to say
yes, to tell her to come over later when mom was asleep, to take her up to my
room and take off all her clothes. But that wouldn't solve my Lauren-issue, and
I was still determined not to whore myself out anymore, so I said: "Actually, I
thought we could just, um…talk?"

"Talk?" she said disgustedly, as if such a thing was obscene and I was depraved
for even suggesting it. "What do you wanna talk for?"

"Well, something happened with Lauren today, and—"

"Ooh, did you finally make a move?"

"No, but that's what I wanted to talk about."

She heaved an audible sigh. "Well, alright," she said. "I'm interested. Go on."

I was a little disappointed she gave up so easily on trying to get a piece of
my ass, but technically that was a good thing, so I went right to the point of
why I was really calling. "Well, I'm not sure," I said, "but I think Lauren was
trying to ask me out."

"About time. You guys move slower than I did when I was your age—and that was
six hundred years ago. So, what'd she say?"

"Well, she was talking about this new vampire movie that just came out—"

"It sucks," she interrupted. "Don't even bother. Me and Leah saw it last week."

"That's not really the point."

"Okay, go on."

"Well, she was saying that she was gonna go see it with Angela, but Angela's
already seen it."

"Uh huh," she said, indicating that she as following me so far.

"So I said why doesn't she go see it alone, and she says she hates going to the
movies by herself."

"Right."

"So then I'm like, 'why don't you go with your boyfriend?' And she's like,
'Fuck that. I'd rather go with you.'"

I even made my voice high pitched like Lauren's, and I caught her sarcastic yet
suspicious tone perfectly.

"Ah ha," Jane said, and her voice seemed to be smiling. "And what'd you say?"

"Well, nothing," I admitted.

She was incredulous. "Nothing?"

"Well, I didn't know if I should," I said defensively. I mean, confidence has
never been one of my defining characteristics; of course I didn't say anything.
"But what do you think?" I asked. "I mean, she probably wasn't serious, right?
She was probably just joking."

Jane scoffed. "Come on, what are you, stupid? Maybe she wasn't asking you out,
but she was definitely putting it out there."

My heart flickered with hope. That's exactly what I had thought and exactly
what I wanted to hear. But I wanted to hear it again, so I pretended to be
hesitant and coy. "You think?" I asked.

"Definitely," she said. "Listen, I'm feeling sorry for you here, so let me ask
you a question. Do you want to nail this bitch?"

"Um…"

"It's a simple question, dodo," she said dryly. "Do you want to nail this bitch
or not?"

It wasn't really an elegant way to put it, and my feelings were slightly more
emotional than that—although nailing her was indeed the culmination of those
feelings—so I said: "Well, yeah."

"Then you can't afford to be such a passive little doormat about this," she
told me. "Laurie isn't like you, she isn't gonna just give it away. If you see
an opening; take it."

"Yeah, but…"

"But nothing," she interrupted. "Girls respond to confidence and assertiveness.
Trust me, alright? Lauren isn't gonna just fall into your lap, you have to
force her there."

It wasn't quite the foolproof advice I'd been hoping for, but the image was
kinky, so I found myself smiling. "You never used confidence on me," I
mentioned.

She giggled. "You were just a slut," she said. "I didn't have to."

It was probably a bad topic to pursue if I wanted to remain just friends, but I
couldn't help myself. It always made me slutty when someone called me a
slut—especially if that someone might be interested in taking advantage of that
sluttyness. So I smirked and lay back on the bed, smiling up at the ceiling.

"I'm not a slut lately," I said. "I haven't had sex in, like, days."

A couple days certainly wasn't a long period, but that was the cleverness of
it; it implied I needed it frequently. Which I did, so it wasn't just flirting.

"Me either," Jane sighed. "Well, not with a human. Leah takes care of me very
nicely, but sometimes you just need blood, you know?"

"When's the last time you fed?" I asked.

It might've been a little personal, because she hesitated before answering.
"You," she said. "Last Friday."

I felt a warmth in my chest. For some reason it struck me as really sweet that
she hadn't fed from anyone else. It made me feel special. "Is that a long time
for you guys?" I asked.

"Kind of."

My smirk grew slightly and then I gave up. Fuck being friends. Jane was hungry,
I was horny, and really; what's the use of being a decent person when you could
be having sex instead? So I smirked into the phone and made my voice sultry.
"Well, if you don't mind being quiet," I whispered, "you can come over
tonight."

I heard her smile, a sound achingly similar to Alice's half-giggle. "What about
Alice?" she asked. "You know she's practically stalking you, right?"

I glanced at the window, but the curtains were still closed. "Alice doesn't own
me," I said, and although my tone was defiant, what I felt was a touch of
sadness; I wish she did own me. It would make things easier. But she didn't,
and right now a quick booty call seemed more harmless than submitting to the
girl who was stalking me. So I turned away from the window and smiled into the
phone. "Besides," I said. "I like you, Jane."

"Oh god," she giggled. "Look, don't get mushy on me, okay? You want me to come
over, I'll come over, but I'm not gonna cuddle your skinny ass and tell you I
love you."

I smiled. "That's okay," I said. "I wouldn't believe you anyway."

We arranged for her to come over at midnight and we kept talking until mom
knocked on my bedroom door and suggested it was time to go to bed, which was
basically the same as telling me. I took her advice and I also took my iPod and
Kindle with me into bed, checking the time frequently until it was almost
midnight. I tried to read, but anticipation was swirling in my stomach and I
kept trying to make excuses for how easily I invited her over. I actually felt
a little regret. It felt like I was betraying mom, Alice, myself, Leah. Even
Lauren somehow. Am I really such a whore? I guess so, because it was only a
little regret. More like a dim background awareness of regret. I wondered if
this was how vampire's felt. I remembered how the momma-vamp had explained that
the blood lust clouds their minds and makes them do things they wouldn't
normally do. I hadn't developed a taste for blood, but my taste for pussy
seemed to be overpowering enough. In any case, the guilt didn't stop me from
counting the minutes to midnight, and when it was finally time I crept
downstairs and let my late night booty call through the front door.

Jane was very excited and I had to keep hissing at her to be quiet as we
tiptoed up to my room. She kept trying to tell me she was wearing leopard-print
panties, and while I was of course very interested in the aesthetic details of
her undergarments, I was also anxious not to wake up mom, and I'd prefer to
find out first hand anyway.

I closed my bedroom door softly. She was already taking off her pants, and yes;
her panties were leopard-print. I managed not to growl out loud, but I did feel
my stomach roll with hunger. She giggled at me for staring and told me to get
my clothes off. I did. We stripped to our underwear and sat on the edge of the
bed, fooling around with our legs parted and our hands fumbling in each other's
panties. As usual, Jane was very vocal, and aside from slapping her, the only
way to keep her quiet seemed to be to do exactly what she wanted. It took
almost two hours before we were willing to call it a night, and in that time
we'd taken turns sitting on each other's faces and she'd bitten me two
different times. The bites were shallow but her tongue went deep, and all in
all, it was the loveliest night in recent memory. The shade of guilt was still
there for betraying pretty much everyone that mattered in my life, but I
couldn't bring myself to regret it on those grounds. My only real regret was
that I'd only be getting a couple hours sleep before my alarm went off.

I walked her to the front door and let her out. Despite her claims that she
wasn't interested in cuddling and romantic platitudes, she did at least kiss me
good night and squeeze my ass, which was tender enough for me. I watched her
get in her car and drive away, and when she was gone I quickly scanned the
front yard for signs of Alice. I'd been expecting to see her glowering from
behind a tree somewhere or even running at me with an ice-pick clutched in her
hand, but there was nothing. I waited for a second, and then I closed the door
and went upstairs.

I got back in bed, but I couldn't sleep. I kept staring at the closed curtains,
and after a while, I got up and opened them. But still, no Alice. I hesitated,
chewing my lip, and then I went back to bed. For some reason it seemed even
more ominous not to have her angry sullen face in the window. What had
happened? Undoubtedly she knew that Jane had been here. Was she so furious that
she couldn't even bare to look at me anymore? Or had this latest betrayal been
so bad that she'd simply given up on me and left? But it wasn't really a
betrayal. We weren't even dating anymore. I was allowed to see who I wanted.
Wasn't I?

I didn't know, but the bad feeling I had was getting worse. It took me a long
time before I got to sleep, and I still hadn't fully convinced myself that I
wanted her to get over me. Because deep down, I knew I wanted her back. I
wanted her back more than anything.

—

It took me two days before I worked up the courage to ask out Lauren. I'd been
sitting with her at lunch and during classes as often as possible, and it was
becoming more and more obvious that something had changed between us. Her
teasing lost it's hurtful edge and she seemed to take a simple pleasure in
having me around. Even when she wasn't speaking to me, she'd always glance at
me occasionally, as if to check if I was still there. I always smiled when our
eyes met, just in case she hadn't noticed I was into her, and every time she'd
look away hastily—but with a blush on her cheeks.

All week we'd been making excuses to spend extra minutes in each other's
company, walking each other to each other's classes, walking each other to each
other's lockers after school. Lauren was at her most casual when no one else
was around and it was almost like the old days, back when we were nearly almost
friends—only now there was the possibility of a relationship between us. I
could tell she'd been thinking about it. She'd mellowed so significantly that
she was almost a different person. Over the past few days she'd made it fairly
clear that she preferred my company to pretty much any other girl—or boy—in
school, and by Wednesday afternoon I finally took my chance.

"Hey, um…"

It wasn't the most suave way to begin, but it would have to do. Lauren closed
her locker and looked at me. She might've sensed something odd in my shy
posture and downcast eyes, because her voice went suspicious. "What?"

I shrugged. Jane had recommended confidence and assertiveness, but honestly I
was more comfortable with awkward clumsiness. "I was just thinking," I said.
"You remember that vampire movie you were talking about?"

"Yeah."

"Did you see it yet?"

She went even more suspicious. But maybe there was a touch of hope in her eyes,
too. "No," she said. "Why?"

I shrugged again. I already had my backpack, and adjusting the shoulder straps
were a wonderful way to conceal awkwardness. "I was just wondering," I said. "I
was thinking about seeing it after school today."

It wasn't an outright invitation, but I couldn't be expected to do all the
work. Lauren seemed to pick up on the hint. "Oh," she said, and then she went
on, unsure. "You know, Jane said it's pretty good. She saw it last week."

Actually, Jane said it sucked, but it sounded like Lauren was trying to
encourage me to go see it. Because she wanted to go with me perhaps? I couldn't
be sure, but her voice was pleasant, and it seemed like a good sign.

So I returned her conversational tone, nodding casually. "Yeah, she said that,"
I said. Then I swallowed and took another chance. "But, um, what about you?" I
asked. "When were you gonna go see it?"

I'd never inquired into Lauren's personal affairs before, and the old Lauren
would've snapped at me to mind my own business. But this was Lauren-in-love and
Lauren-in-love was a sweeter creature. She looked aside for a second and
shrugged; she was wearing her backpack too, and it really flattered her
awkwardness.

"I don't know," she said, still not committing. "I was maybe gonna go on the
weekend or something."

I nodded, disappointed. I wasn't brave enough to invite myself along with her,
and it looked like she wasn't brave enough to invite herself with me, either.
And now it was too late. We'd both expressed different plans and maneuvered
each other into a stalemate. I sighed; it was so much easier with a vampire.
All you had to do was let them.

But she was still standing there, tugging on the strap of her backpack. She
looked at me, and maybe disappointment was even more effective then confidence,
because she shrugged again.

"But if you're going today," she said with studied casualness, "we might as
well go together. I mean, it's better than going alone, right?"

My heart leapt. But I took care not to smile or make any indication that I just
had a hot flash in my boobs. I just shrugged, valiantly matching her own level
of casualness, and said: "I guess."

It wasn't exactly a date, but it was close enough, and to complete my
fairytale, she actually drove me in her car. It was an old beat up Toyota, but
to me it was a chariot. I sat in the front, hands in my lap, trying not to
smile as my secret crush beared me away to our first faux-date. This was the
beginning. This was the two of us admitting we like spending time with each
other, and from here anything was possible. All I had to do was keep hinting
until she was comfortable, and then it would be a simple matter of getting her
alone some place quiet and romantic, where our eyes would catch and we would
look at each other silently, knowing, and then I'd lean forward shyly and place
a tender kiss upon those lips I'd coveted since middle school, a kiss that
would, of course, segue into a real relationship that involves hardcore
fucking.

It could be so perfect, and the only thing that clouded my mood was when I
glanced in the rearview mirror and saw a silver Volvo tailing us closely. I'd
read on the internet that it was a bad idea to remain friends with your ex
after a break up, but it seemed that it was also a bad idea to be stalked by
your ex after a break up, too. It was very difficult to move on with these
constant reminders of my former lover's obsessive fixation on me. Because even
though things looked promising with Lauren, I knew deep in my heart that Alice
was sexier. It was wrong of me, but sometimes I wished she'd just snap already
and take me by force. It would be so much easier.

But I reminded myself that vampire's were evil—or fairly close to it—and while
Lauren certainly wasn't an angel she did seem to be the healthier choice.
Besides, I've always digged blondes.

In any case, I didn't leap out of the car and go running back to Alice. I
continued on with Lauren and when we got to the theater it became clear that I
was actually stupider than everyone thought I was. I hadn't checked to see what
time the movie was playing, and the next showing was over an hour away, so it
seemed my grand plan of tricking her into a date wasn't as grand as I thought
it was. The problem was that I hadn't actually believed I'd succeed, and now it
seemed I might fail after all. But my usually-volatile date surprised me. She
smiled and rolled her eyes, and she asked me how stupid can a person possibly
be, but she didn't storm out, jump in her car, and leave me standing there. She
almost seemed to be happy for the delay, and we spent the extra time together
browsing the shops next door and making eerily pleasant conversation. We didn't
actually hold hands, but it felt so odd under the circumstances that we might
as well of. I could almost feel the chemistry between us, and when we finally
returned to the theater, I had to fight back the urge to buy her ticket and
then just give her the rest of cash I had on me.

The movie itself sucked, no pun intended. It was more of an action movie,
designed for a male audience, and I wondered how we'd even decided on seeing
it. Still, the whole point was to spend time with Lauren, and since the
crappiness of the movie allowed us to ridicule it as we watched, I suppose I
couldn't complain. If the movie was any better we would've been compelled to
pay attention. As it was, the only thing I found fascinating about it was the
various scantily clad women who strutted across the screen every now and then.
The dialogue often forced the camera on their faces, but I preferred the long
shots when you could see their cleavage. I wondered if that made me sexist, but
considering I was a girl too, it seemed unlikely. I was probably just a
pervert.

All in all, it seemed to be a decent date movie. Mindless, non-topical, and
even a flimsy romance built around the action scenes. There were only two
scenes that were uncomfortable to watch in a date-like situation. The first was
a semi-sex scene between the leading man and the leading lady, but since the
only nudity was male and waist-up, it seemed harmless enough. Lauren even made
it a point to scoff at the muscled torso and speculate that the actor was
holding his stomach in. I found it encouraging that she didn't seem
particularly enthusiastic about the male body, but I didn't think she was quite
ready for me to tear my clothes off and jump on her.

The second scene that made us uncomfortable was a lesbian scene, naturally
enough. Lauren saw it coming and stiffened visibly. It took place in a
nightclub of some kind. One of the male vampires had entered the club with
three female vampires in tow, and while one of them blew him under the table,
the other two were making out on the dancefloor so he could watch. Technically,
it was more of a bi-female scene than a lesbian scene, but the girl-girl
interaction made Lauren acutely uncomfortable, so uncomfortable that she
regressed almost instantly into her old gay-bashing self.

"Fucking dykes," she muttered. "Look at that shit. Why do they put that shit in
movies?"

I smiled, watching as one of the women slipped off the other woman's shoulder
strap, licked her shoulder, and slipped it back up. "Because it's sexy?" I
suggested.

Lauren snorted, but she was watching. "It's fucking gross."

The scene cut to something else and since it was over, I looked at Lauren. "Why
do you keep saying that?" I asked, genuinely curious. "I mean, even if it's not
your thing, you have to admit it's pretty hot."

It sounded like a reasonable argument to me, but she looked at me as if I'd
accused her of going down on me when I wasn't looking. "Jeez," she said. "You
sound like a guy."

I'd been called many things in my sixteen years, but never something quite
unjust as a guy. Admittedly, my sense of fashion had been mildly masculine
before my wardrobe had been updated, but I wasn't aware of any other
mannishness in my overall demeanor. My boobs were large and I had more curves
than most girls in school, Lauren included. My figure had matured quite a bit
these last couple months, but then again, she'd said I sound like a guy, not
look like one. So I smiled and said: "What do you mean?"

But she shook her head, unwilling to elaborate. "Look, just shut the fuck up,
alright? You're embarrassing yourself."

"Why, because I'm not ashamed of my orientation?"

"No, because your orientation is stupid and guys jerk off about it," she said,
spitting out the word 'orientation' as if it was a politically correct term for
child-rape. "That's the only reason they put those scenes in these movies, you
know. Because it's hot, like you said. But it's only guys that think that. I
mean, doesn't that bother you? That basically your orientation is nothing but
porno? I mean, doesn't that make you sick? Or are you just too stupid to
realize?"

I was surprised by her vehemence. It didn't sound like regular gay-bashing
either. It sounded almost self-righteous, as if her real objection to
lesbianism wasn't her own feelings but everyone else's. Maybe this was the root
of her denial. The fact that lesbianism tends to get bad publicity in modern
media. I could see her point, I suppose. When you see male homosexuality on TV,
it's either cute comedy or serious relationships. When you see female
homosexuality, it's usually just a cheap thrill. It didn't seem entirely fair,
but it was a good thing I was too shallow to care about all this stuff, because
it had obviously messed up Lauren.

So I smiled and gave a slight shrug. "I guess I'm just stupid."

Lauren seemed to have been expecting more, and I realized I should've taken the
opportunity to pretend to be deep. But before I could follow up with a five-
page essay on contemporary feminism, she shook her head and turned back to the
movie. "Whatever," she muttered. "This movie sucks, anyway."

I turned back to the movie glumly, disappointed with myself for being such an
idiot. The nightclub scene had devolved into a savage swordfight with
werewolves, and the two chicks who'd been making out were dead on the
dancefloor. Typical. Lesbians in movies and TV are never good examples of the
lifestyle. Even Tara in Buffy got killed off eventually.

I lost interest in the final-battle and swept my eyes over the other seats. It
was a weekday and the movie had already been out over a week, so the theater
was almost empty. In fact, it seemed like me and Lauren were the only two
people in the whole place, and it struck me as a shame that we were only on a
fake-date. I would've loved to put an arm around her or cop a feel. I almost
wished I was here with Alice instead of Lauren. Alice would've known how to
take advantage of the privacy. Alice wouldn't pause to pontificate on the
injustice of lesbian exploitation in movies and entertainment; she'd be too
busy exploiting me.

I sighed and looked at the screen. Maybe this was all a waste of time. Lauren
would never openly date me, and even if she did, she'd never put out as
frequently as Alice. Sex isn't important in a relationship, of course, but it
seemed rational that more sex was better than less sex. Especially sex with
Alice. That was the best kind of sex.

By now the movie had somehow segued into a scene involving the two female
rivals as they fought to the death for the dubious honor of ending up with the
guy. They were wearing leather and not much of it, but even this failed to
capture my interest. I looked out across the theater, heaving another sigh, and
that's when I noticed that one of the seats was occupied—by someone who was
turned in their seat and staring directly at me.

I had a brief moment of panic, but then I realized it was Alice, and the panic
melted into relief. Oh thank god. It's only my stalker. I hadn't noticed her
before and I'd assumed she was waiting in her car outside. Nice to know her
obsession was strong enough to cause her to sit through such a crappy movie
just so she could be near me. Although I hoped Lauren wouldn't notice. She
might assume Alice was dangerous, which might actually be possible. I didn't
believe Alice would hurt me, but she certainly didn't have a great deal of love
for Lauren. In fact, as I remembered, the last time I saw them together was
when Alice had threatened to break Lauren's neck—and that was only for being
mean to me. What would she do if she knew Lauren was being nice?

Alice had smiled when our eyes met, and against my better judgment, I gave her
a slight smile back. It was wrong to encourage her, but I couldn't help it. I
missed her and I wanted to make feel better, even if I knew we couldn't be
together. Her smile widened slightly, and then she motioned with her head
toward the exit. As if she wanted to speak to me alone. I shook my head
quickly, but she only tossed her head once more, and then she got up and walked
out. It was too dark to see her ass very clearly.

I turned to Lauren and hesitated only for a second. I couldn't leave Alice out
there waiting for me. It would be too close to a direct snub, and I couldn't do
that to her. Whatever she wanted, I had to go out there and tell her to her
face that I wasn't interested in anything she was thinking, even if it involved
opening her legs, so I turned to Lauren and whispered: "I'm gonna go to the
bathroom quickly."

She shot me a look. Either she was upset I'd interrupted the movie, or she was
upset about losing my company even for a minute. She'd already said she hated
the movie, so I promised myself I'd be quick, and then I ducked out into the
aisle and hurried after Alice.

I appeared in the outer corridor and saw her leaning against the restroom door.
When she saw me she pushed back into the bathroom and let the door swing shut.
I took a deep breath to steel myself and approached the door. I had no idea
what was waiting for me on the other side; it could be a seduction attempt, a
brutal murder, or stall-to-stall chit chat. But I pushed the door open and went
in.

Luckily, my obsessed ex didn't seemed to be inclined toward violent
confrontation—not this afternoon at least. She was leaning against one of the
sinks and she smiled to see me, as if it was such a coincidence we'd bumped
into each other. "Jeez, that movie sucks," she said, as if she hadn't been
stalking me all week. "Wanna go see something else? My treat."

I maintained a respectable distance. She was wearing jeans and a pink tee, and
it was the closest I'd been to her in days. I fixed my brow into a frown,
ignoring how she was making my heart pound, and said: "I thought you were going
to give me space, Alice."

Something flinched in her eyes and her smile went a touch eerie. "I said I was
going to give you space so you realize that you still love me," she said. "I
didn't say I was giving you space so you can go fall in love with someone
else."

"Me and Lauren are just friends. We're just hanging out."

"Friends," she repeated.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"But you'd like to be more."

"I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe."

I felt bad saying it, but we both needed to hear it. I needed to convince
myself that I was serious about both Lauren and becoming a decent person, and
she needed to know I was serious about that too. But if I'd been hoping for
understanding and a respectful withdrawal of her suit, I would've been
disappointed.

"You're unbelievable, Bella," she said, staring at me coldly. "Since the first
moment we met I did nothing but love you with all my heart and yet here you are
determined to worm your way into the pants of a girl who's done nothing but
hate and reject you." She frowned and her tone went accusing. "You always liked
her, didn't you? Even when you were with me."

Her tone irked me; mostly because it really hurt. "Crushes don't go away just
because some psycho crawls through your bedroom window and proclaims herself
your soulmate," I told her, immediately regretting it.

But she shook her head slowly, not taking her eyes from mine. "Unbelievable,"
she repeated, looking at me as if she'd never seen me before. Or worse, was
finally seeing me at last. The way I always was, always will be. I felt
pathetic under her eyes and I looked away. "You were unfaithful to me in so
many ways," she said sadly. "And yet you can't forgive me for one little moment
of weakness. Is that fair?"

Her tone made me blink back tears. "It's not about that, Alice," I said. "I
forgave you for that a long time ago."

She took a step toward me imploringly. "Then why?" she demanded. "Why can't we
be together?"

"Because," I said, my voice querulous. "You're a bad person, Alice. I mean, you
stalk me, you lied to me, you used me. You have some fucked up mistress who'll
probably kill me if I take you away from her again. I don't want to be with
someone like you. I just want a regular relationship. You took advantage of me
because I was weak, but I'm not weak anymore. Okay?"

At first she didn't react. Then she let her weight on one leg, cocking her hip,
and gave me a coy smile. "You're right," she said, leveling her dark eyes at me
sexily. "I've been a bad girl, haven't I?"

A ball of queasy excitement rolled through my stomach. She was shifting
tactics. Traditional arguments hadn't worked so now she was attempting a more
direct approach. She took a step forward, only a couple steps away now, and I
tried to make my voice stern.

"Don't even try it, Alice," I said.

But she only smiled. "Try what, baby?" she asked innocently. "Aren't I allowed
to apologize? To tell you how sorry I am? And how eager I am to make it all up
to you?"

I was wearing a black tee and to punctuate her statements she lifted a hand and
trailed a fingertip under the globe of one of my breasts. The touch made my
breath jerk and made my nipples stiff. I swallowed and forgot how to talk for a
second.

"But maybe I should stop telling you how sorry I am," she said, gazing into my
flushed face, "and start showing you. Hm? Would you like that, Bella?"

Before I could say anything, if I was even capable of saying anything, she sank
to her knees at my feet. I was wearing black cargoes, and all I could do was
stare helplessly as she hooked her hands into the waistband and pulled them
down to my knees, together with my panties.

"Alice, stop," I said, throwing a panicked glance at the bathroom door. "We're
in public."

But considering how empty the entire place was it was unlikely anybody would be
walking in, and in any case, she didn't listen. She leaned toward me, just
slightly, and blew a soft breath over my exposed pussy. A shiver rippled
through me.

"Baby's pussy is so pretty," she whispered, her lips so close, so achingly
close. "She's so cruel for keeping it from me."

Dimly, I was again astounded at her shallow opinion of me. Granted, I was
somewhat of a slut, but did she really think I was brainless enough to be
coerced back into the relationship by the promise of a pussy licking?

"Alice, please."

But she didn't listen. Her hands were holding my hips and slowly she leaned
forward with her tongue and licked me gently, just once. Her hot tongue grazed
softly against my dry but sensitive folds and her eyes rolled up to meet mine
submissively.

"Oh god," I moaned, almost falling over.

She smiled, gazing up at me from her knees. "Does baby like that?" she asked.
She giggled and returned her eyes to my pussy. "I bet baby does. I bet she
really likes it."

Baby did like it, but baby was on a date with someone else, and baby really
wasn't the kind of girl who had sex in public restrooms, not anymore. But for
some reason, I couldn't speak, and even if I had, she probably wouldn't have
listened. She was still staring at my pussy as if she was in love with it, and
then she leaned again, very slowly, and placed a kiss on it, leaving her lips
there as she spoke.

"Does baby want me to keep going?" she whispered, every word vibrating into my
core. "All she has to do is take me back. I'd be so grateful if she takes me
back. I'd do anything to make her happy."

"Alice," I whimpered.

"Please, baby?" she asked, pressing her lips to me again in another kiss. "Just
tell me you take me back and I'll do anything you want. Anything."

But suddenly I had enough. It was too much, too degrading. If she really loved
me she wouldn't do this to me, seduce me in a bathroom while I was on an trial
date with someone who was important to me. Alice didn't love me. She only
wanted me. I wanted her, too, but not like this. It was too fake, too wrong.
She didn't really want to go down on me right now. She was only faking so that
I'd go back to her.

So I wrenched away from her lips and stumbled backwards, almost tripping in my
pants around my ankles. I pulled them up frantically, acutely embarrassed, and
looked at Alice. "Fuck you," I sobbed, and then I ran out of the bathroom,
leaving her kneeling there.

I didn't see Alice again for the rest of the day. I sat through the rest of the
movie with Lauren and at first I was so distracted by the erotic encounter that
I hardly knew how it ended. But then the credits began to roll and Lauren
immediately started talking about what a waste of time it was to even see it
and we should've just walked out halfway through and gone somewhere else. It
made me smile that she'd included me in her plans to walk out and by the time
we'd exited the theater I was refocused on my bitchy blonde crush.

Unfortunately, however, we didn't have any more excuses to hang out, and it was
getting a little late by now, anyway. She drove me home in her cheap Toyota,
and I kept glancing in the rearview, but there was no sign of any silver Volvo.
I wasn't exactly disappointed, but I wasn't happy, either. Just resigned. Alice
needed to get it through her head that I was human, and I wasn't interested in
selling my soul for pussy—even a pussy like hers.

It was almost dark by the time we pulled up outside my house and for a second
we sat in awkward silence. I wondered if this felt like a date for her, too.
Briefly I considered attempting to kiss her goodnight, but I knew she wasn't
ready. We had to go slow. It wasn't one of my preferred tactics, but Lauren
wasn't a slutty whore of darkness. She was a regular girl, and a quick fuck in
the backseat probably wasn't the best way to show her I was serious.

Finally Lauren broke the silence. "So this is where you live, huh?" she said,
leaning to look out the window. "Does your mother know you're gay?"

It was a weird question, and I answered hesitantly, unsure what she wanted to
hear. "Sure," I said.

She nodded, trying to be casual. "How'd she take it?"

Ah, now I understood. She wanted to know how a typical mother reacts to the
revelation that her daughter would rather eat pussy than get married and
provide her with natural-born grandchildren. I figured I should put a positive
spin on it, make it seem like no big deal. It was probably best not to mention
that my own mom had freaked out, severed my relationship, and grounded me until
I'd smashed my head open in a fit of catatonic depression.

"Well, it was a shock," I said, "but you know. I'm still her daughter. She'll
always love me."

It seemed to hit the right tone; optimistic yet rooted in reality. Lauren went
thoughtful for a second, but only a second. She covered it up with a quick
smirk and a quicker jab.

"If I was your mother I'd disown your lezzy ass."

I smirked back. "If you were my mother I would've killed myself by now."

"Not if I smothered you first."

We chuckled together. I wasn't sure what was so amusing about filicide, but it
was nice to share a moment of levity. Unfortunately, it only lasted a couple
seconds before we lapsed into silence once more. I knew I was supposed to
casually say bye and get out the car, but I felt I should send one last signal,
something indisputable so that she'd know without a doubt that I liked her. So
I put on my best attempt at a smile and said:

"Hey, um… I really had a lot of fun today."

It was an improbable statement, considering we both hated the movie, but the
subtext was blatant enough. Lauren immediately went defensive.

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, I'm just saying," I said, unfazed by her defensiveness. "It was nice
hanging out with you." And in case that was too subtle, I gave an awkward
chuckle, and added: "Almost like a date."

Lauren frowned and said nothing. I was disappointed. I knew she wasn't going to
lift her top and show me her boobs, but I'd hoped for maybe a bashful smile. I
guess it was still too soon.

"Well," I said. "I'd better go."

I opened the car door and got out. I flashed her one last smile and I was about
to close the door when she said:

"Hey."

I paused. Had she changed her mind and wanted to fuck me in the backseat
quickly? I concealed my excitement and blinked at her. "Yeah?"

"You forgot your backpack."

It was sitting there in the floor. "Oh," I blushed, grabbing it up. "Sorry."

But before I could go she spoke again.

"Listen," she said, frowning uncomfortably. "There's this party on Saturday.
Down at La Push. Were you gonna go?"

La Push was the beach just outside of town, but whether it was outside of town
or on the moon, it still seemed unlikely that Lauren would invite me to a party
there. Did she want to be seen in public with me sp she could see how people
would react? Or was she just being friendly? Either way, I didn't think a beach
party would be the best place for a meaningful romantic interlude, not
considering I was unpopular and had never been to a party in my life.

"I don't know," I said. "I probably wouldn't know anyone there."

She frowned even more savagely. "I'll be there," she said, as if accusing me of
something. "And Jane and Angela'll be there. You might as well go. I mean, you
got nothing better to do, right?"

It warmed my heart that she seemed to require my company, but I really wasn't a
party-girl, and I'd probably only make a fool of myself and turn her off. So I
shrugged and demurred, only slightly tempted. "I wouldn't know how to get
there," I said. "I don't even have a car."

She shrugged as if it was no big deal. "I could pick you up."

My heart jolted. That sounded a little more appealing. Lauren was obviously
having a hard time with her feelings for me, and maybe giving me rides was the
first step toward full confession. In any case, she seemed to really want me
there, and I didn't have the heart to refuse a third time.

"Well, okay," I said. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, whatever," she muttered. "I don't give a fuck."

Her sudden shyness emboldened me. "Thanks," I smirked. "I'll wear something
sexy."

She gave my body a skeptical glance. "Good luck."

"Fuck you."

She snorted, that familiar smirk crossing her lips. "Keep dreaming, dyke," she
said.

I grinned and slammed shut the door as if I was angry with her. But I wasn't
angry. It was the first time she'd called me dyke in over a week and for the
first time it felt almost like a pet-name. I watched the car drive away until
it turned the corner, and then I sighed and turned toward the house. I didn't
pirouette down the garden path, but I felt like it, and the only thing that
could've made our pretend date better was sex.

Mom was home and I found her in the kitchen making dinner. She was chopping
vegetables and she glanced over her shoulder as I came in.

"Hi, sweetie," she said. "Have fun at the movies?"

I'd called her from school to let her know I'd be late home. Among my desires
for decency was the desire to be a good daughter, and so far I had been, aside
from that one booty call a couple nights ago. But that didn't really count
since she didn't even know about it.

"Um, yeah," I said, careful about how much excitement I should reveal. I didn't
want her to think I'd had too much fun. "I guess."

She turned back to the chopping board. "Who'd you go with?" she asked, ever the
attentive and interested mom.

"Lauren," I replied.

"Lauren?" she repeated, as if surprised. "Wow. It's been a while since you've
spent time with her, hasn't it?"

I'd come over to inspect what she was making. It seemed to be preparation for a
stir-fry and as usual she'd cut the carrot too thick. This is why I preferred
to cook. I bet she didn't even peel them properly. But rather than scold her
for her culinary carelessness, I replied to the question.

"Well, we were fighting for a bit," I said. "She didn't like Alice. But now
we're kind of friends again."

"Kind of?" she inquired politely.

My tone might've been a little suspicious, and I had the impression that she
was looking for something she could be disapproving of and thereby protect me
from. But I decided I might as well be honest. She had already said she wanted
me to open up about my feelings, and my budding relationship with Lauren was
the perfect opportunity, since it didn't involve sex, biting, or massive blood
loss.

So I gave a little shrug. "Well, she invited me to a party on Saturday," I
said. "And she said she'd come pick me up. I think she might, you know. Like
me."

She glanced at me, flustered. "Wow," she made an effort to say. "That's, um…
That's great, sweetie. But, um…"

I smiled at how quickly she got disconcerted. Was girl-girl attraction really
such a scandalous topic? She was chopping a mushroom and I was surprised she
didn't lop off a finger. "But what?"

She gave a small shrug, as if to soften something that might be a little harsh,
and focused on the mushroom. "Well, don't you think it's a little fast?" she
said. "I mean, you only just ended a relationship a couple weeks ago."

I shook my head. "Lauren's different from Alice," I said, and it was true.
Lauren didn't stalk me during dates, or leer at me in class, or sexually submit
to me in public restrooms. Lauren was actually a decent person, aside from a
mild homophobia and a tendency toward profanity. She was certainly a healthier
choice than Alice.

But mom of course had other objections. "Well, that's the other thing," she
said, placing the knife on the cutting board and turning to me. "I mean, what
if she doesn't really like you like that? What if you've made a mistake and
she's just being friendly? I couldn't bare it if you got hurt again."

I could see the concern in her face, and she made a valid point. I was pretty
certain that Lauren was gay, or at least bi—Leah and Jane had pretty much
confirmed it—but it was still doubtful if she'd ever openly date me. But that's
why this party would be important. It was a first step.

So I waved away her worries and shook my head. "Lauren isn't that friendly," I
said. "Trust me, it's a big deal that she wants to spend time with me. Besides,
even her friends think she has a thing for me."

Mom wasn't convinced. "Well, maybe she does, but…"

"But what?"

She dried her hands with a dishtowel and sighed. Evidently we'd stumbled into a
serious conversation.

"Well," she began, almost hesitantly. "I've done some research about all this
on the internet—you know, to try and understand what you've been going through
better—and I read that sometimes this kind of thing can be a phase. Especially
at your age. So even if this girl does like you, it doesn't mean she's like
that, you know? I mean, maybe even you aren't really like that."

I only barely refrained from laughing. The notion of my orientation being a
phase was so wildly optimistic of her that I had to bite the inside of my mouth
to keep from grinning. But mom was obviously trying to be serious, and I felt
that I should at least pretend to be serious, too.

"What do you mean?" I said.

She'd been watching for my reaction, afraid perhaps that I might fly into a fit
of angry self-righteousness and accuse her of trying to change me. But when she
saw that I was only curious about how she came to this conclusion, she nodded
understandingly and went on.

"Well," she said, "I was just thinking, that's all. I mean, after everything
that happened with that girl, it's perfectly understandable that you might be a
little confused. Do you think that could be what's happening here?"

I almost felt sorry for her. She seemed to seriously think that maybe Alice had
somehow beguiled me into lesbianism, and while that may've made sense from her
perspective, it seemed rather preposterous from mine. Alice had been a
corrupting influence, certainly, but that didn't explain why I'd been
fantasizing about the entire cheersquad since before I ever met her. Anything
was possible, I suppose, but given that my enjoyment of pussy extended far
beyond Alice's, I seriously doubted my orientation was Alice's fault.

But mom had obviously put some thought into this—she'd even done research—and I
didn't have the heart to shatter her hopes. I wasn't really mature enough to
take any of her concerns seriously, but at least I could pretend.

So I nodded, shrugging slightly. "Um, maybe," I said, and compared to all the
other lies I've told her I doubted this one would cause me to get struck by
lightning. "I don't know."

"I mean, I'm not trying to change you," she rushed to reassure me, "and I'll
always love you no matter what, but…" She gave a little shrug. "It's just,
you're still very young, sweetie. You've got a lot of growing up to do before
you can know who you really are, and you really shouldn't commit to anything so
soon. I mean, just because you like girls now, doesn't mean you won't like men
later, you know?"

I tried not to cringe. I'm sure men were very nice—if you like that kind of
thing—but in all honesty, I really couldn't picture myself having sex with
something that didn't have tits. But I was determined to be mature, and a
mature young woman would take her mother's advice seriously, so that's what I
pretended to do.

"Um, yeah," I said. "I guess."

But mom still wasn't done, the poor thing. "It's just…" she began. She
struggled for a second, as if trying to recall a prearranged speech, and went
on. "Being gay isn't easy," she said. "It can make your life very complicated.
More complicated than it needs to be. It's hard enough being straight, trust
me. I couldn't make a relationship work and I never had to deal with the things
that you'll have to deal with when you're older."

Again, I struggled not to smile. I was dealing with quite a few things right
now, including a stalker ex. But I figured it was best to let mom get it all
out of her system. "What things?" I asked.

"Well, societal disapproval for one," she said. "No one likes to be looked at
in public, right?"

Well, that was true, I guess. I remembered the looks I'd gotten at school
whenever Alice had kissed me or held my hand. It had made me uncomfortable at
first, but I'd gotten over it quickly enough, and in any case, it wasn't all
discomfort and awkwardness. The good thing about kissing a girl in public was
the fact that you're kissing a girl. Why nitpick over who's looking?

"Besides," mom went on, "wouldn't you like to have a family some day? A real
family? With a husband who loves you and children created by that love?"

In all honesty, I'd rather have a lesbian mistress who'll sit on my face and
yank my hair, but that probably wasn't what mom wanted to hear. So I nodded
ruminatively, as if this was all an interesting revelation and I was seriously
considering it. "Yeah, maybe."

And thankfully, this seemed to be enough to satisfy her, because she smiled and
turned back to the chopping board. "Well, anyway," she said, going back to work
on the vegetables. "I suppose you're still too young to think about this kind
of stuff. Just remember that you've still got a lot of growing up to do and
orientation isn't set in stone. Especially for a woman. It changes sometimes."

She'd probably read that on the internet. I'd done some research too, and I'd
read similar things. I'd even read some of those articles about women who used
to be committed lesbians and are now happily married mothers of four. A true
triumph for domestic bliss, those articles, but with all due respect I struggle
to see the nobility in a woman who backs out of her lifestyle as soon as
something easier presents itself. I mean, seriously; what are they so proud of?
I didn't know giving birth was such an achievement, but I guess it's only a
matter of time until they make it an event at the Olympics. There was always a
family snapshot in those articles and I guess they must really be proud of
their maternal prowess because only a truly loving mother could love kids so
ugly. Still, as long as they're happy. Personally, I think a nice ass and a
second set of tits is more valuable than a husband and a couple children, but
hey; everybody's different.

In any case, at least the conversation was over. There was only one last thing
to clarify. "Am I allowed to go to the party?" I asked. Because, really, that's
all I cared about at the moment.

Mom smiled. "Of course, sweetie," she said. "I want you to have fun with your
friends, I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all."

I nodded and hesitated for a second. "And what if Lauren really does like me?"
I asked. "Would it be okay if…"

She hesitated too, clearly fighting the urge to buy me a male-whore before I
did anything rash with another girl. "Well, that'll be up to you to figure
out," she said. "Just promise me you'll do the right thing and be responsible,
okay?"

I complimented her wisdom in letting her daughter make her own decisions. It
was just a shame I wasn't as mature as she thought I was. "I will," I said, and
really; I was sure I'd try.

Dinner that night was chicken stir-fry, and while we ate, mom worked on her
supportiveness by asking me all about my day with Lauren. I was cautious at
first, but she nodded and smiled and agreed that certain aspects of Lauren's
behavior may indeed indicate a romantic attachment, and before I knew it I was
even giving her a rundown of the movie. I'd missed a few plot points toward the
end where I'd been sexually assaulted in the restroom by my manic ex, but I
remembered most of it.

We concluded dinner with a dessert of frozen yogurt, and mom took the
opportunity to again caution me, very supportively, in my dealings with Lauren.
After all, girls are a shifty bunch and you can never quite tell what they're
feeling, especially for other girls since it's probably just a phase and girl's
aren't really capable of loving their own kind because boys are so much better
and more socially appropriate. Apparently this generalization applied to me,
too, and she went on to remind me that sexuality is a fluid thing and I was
still too young to really know anything about myself and maybe I was just
confused anyway. I'm sure it was all very wise, but I wasn't really listening
anymore; I was mentally preparing my fantasy material for tonight and I just
couldn't decide what kind of panties Alice should be wearing.

There were a couple hours before I went to bed and I spent the time curled on
the couch beside mom with my Kindle. She was re-watching her Sex in the City
DVDs, and every now and then I'd look up and shake my head at some stupid bit
of dialog. Pretty actresses, though.

By the time I went upstairs it had started to rain. I opened my bedroom door
and froze.

Alice was sitting on my bed.

She was sniffing my pillow and she put it down when I came in. She smiled at me
and tilted her head, an adorable psycho. "Hi," she said.

I closed the door and glared at her. "Get out," I said.

She pouted and gestured at the wet window. "But it's raining."

"You can't keep doing this to me, Alice," I said. "Stalking me isn't the
solution to our problems."

"Then what is?"

"There is none. You're a vampire. You drink blood. I mean, don't you get it?"

She smiled and averted her eyes, caressing the pillow in her lap like a cat.
"It's not nice to reject someone because of what they are," she said.

"Alice, please."

She looked at me. Then she stood up in one graceful motion and tossed the
pillow back onto the bed. "Fine," she said. "I'll go. But only because I know
you'll take me back eventually. It's destiny."

I tried to glare at her pretty face, but I didn't think I managed it. She
smiled at the attempt.

"You know, I think I like this defiant streak of yours," she said. "It's cute.
But just remember, baby… I'm a very, very, submissive woman. If you take me
back… you have no idea how thankful I'll be."

I swallowed and tried not to show how insanely horny this made me. She smiled
and then she turned to the window, bending at the hip to lift it open. I tried
not to look at her round, perky, jeanclad ass, and I failed at this, too. She
gave me one last smile, and then she stepped outside, took a grip on the
drainpipe, and shut the window.

And there she stayed, watching me placidly. I was still in my school clothes
and I realized that I had to get changed. But for a second I couldn't move. I
just stood there and watched her through the glass, watching as the rain slowly
soaked her hair and ran down her cheeks like tears. She knew I had to change
and she was waiting to see what I'd do. I could've closed the curtains or taken
my clothes to the bathroom. But her eyes. Her eyes were so big, so beautiful.
So smug, so expectant. There was a dull fury in my chest and I had the sudden
urge to show her what she's missing out on. To show those cocky eyes that I
didn't care if they were staring at me all night. I wasn't sure what exposing
myself to her would prove, but I knew it would prove one thing: it would prove
that she wanted me more than I wanted her. And for some reason that seemed like
an important thing to prove.

So I did it. With Alice's face in the rain-smeared window, watching me, I
started taking off my clothes. I pulled off my top and tossed it on the floor.
I dropped my pants and kicked them aside. I'd taken off my boots when I'd first
gotten home and I left my socks on. I stood there, naked but for white
underwear, white socks, and looked into her face. The change in her expression
was very subtle, but I saw it; a faint glimmer of hope in her eyes. She thought
I was giving up, that I was on the verge of taking her back. But I wasn't. I
was only teasing her; the same way she teased me.

And I wasn't done. Turning aside slightly, I unhooked my bra and peeled it
away, slowly before letting it drop. My breasts had always been large for my
age, but lately they seemed even larger, as if vampire venom contained some
strange swelling agent. Their shape seemed to have improved slightly, too. They
seemed to have a little extra lift, an added buoyancy. In any case, they were
now, officially, my best feature, and Alice was staring right at them. She was
being careful to conceal her expression, but I noticed her lips were parted
slightly. My nipples were hard and erect under her eyes, and without making any
effort to cover myself, I simply stood there awkwardly, letting her look, my
arms dangling at my sides. I could hear the rain on the roof and the rain on
the window. I didn't know what to do with my hands so I tucked some hair behind
my ear. My boobs were tingling and after a while I noticed Alice lick her lips
unconsciously. This made me smirk and I turned away.

Next was my panties. Fortunately, I'd seen Alice undress enough times to know
how this was done properly; I bent at the hip and slid them down my legs,
keeping my legs perfectly straight. My legs, like my breasts, seemed to have
improved lately, too. They used to be flat and kind of skinny. Now they seemed
to be a little fuller. I had no idea what kind of shape my ass was in, since I
rarely looked at it, but it was facing the window and it tingled as I stood up
and stepped out of my panties with gentle flicks of my feet. I was now
completely naked aside my socks, but I figured I'd leave them on. I wasn't
aware of any erotic way to remove socks, and sometimes they looked cute on a
naked body, anyway.

Alice was still watching. There was a subtle desperation in her hot honey-
colored eyes, and her wet black hair was stuck to her head like a helmet,
making her seem like a soaked kitten. A sad little kitten that wanted to come
in and be petted. And I did want to let her in, I really did. I wanted more
than anything to simply give up and take her back and spend the rest of my
existence enjoying the unholy lust she was so intent on forcing upon me. But
nothing had changed. Lust doesn't last forever and Alice had already failed at
relationships with Jane, Rosalie, Victoria, Esme, and maybe Leah as well. There
was nothing special about me and I knew she'd never keep me forever. She was
just a sexy soulless little monster.

And I hated her for ever making me believe she was perfect.

So this was my revenge. A bit petty perhaps, but it was hot for me too, so I
couldn't complain. I wasn't done, either. I wasn't about to simply crawl into
bed and go to sleep. I wanted to give her a real show, so she could see exactly
how much I didn't need her, didn't want her. My pussy didn't belong to her; it
was mine and I'd do whatever I wanted with it. Either by myself or with Leah
and Jane or even with Lauren someday. I didn't need her anymore.

So I spread myself on the bed and started playing with myself. It was cold in
the room but I didn't cover any part of my body. I was entirely exposed and I
kept my eyes locked with Alice's as I touched my breasts and nipples and
stroked my pussy and clit and inserted fingers into myself, slowly pumping
them. My face was flaming and I only broke eye contact when I came, squeezing
my eyes shut with my naked chest heaving as the orgasm shook through my sweaty
body.

Alice was still staring and her expression had darkened. Her eyes were furious
with longing and the rain was dripping from her eyelashes. In a way, it was the
perfect metaphor for our relationship; me, a horny teenager, and her, out there
in the dark and the rain, glassed away in her own little world where soulmates
are real and love and lust are the same thing. I smiled at her sleepily and
then I got up, still naked, and approached the window. One last flicker of
desperation crossed her face as she thought maybe I was going to open the
window and let her in. But I didn't. I closed the curtains, and then I got
changed into my sleep clothes and went to bed.

—

I kept the curtains closed for the rest of the week. The next day was Thursday
and after school I found myself watching cheer practice with Leah. The clouds
had cleared and there was even a little sun. Leah, like Jane, had proven to be
interested in my love life, and by now I'd filled her in on the details of my
budding courtship with Lauren.

"I guess all you gotta do now is make a move, huh?"

I nodded, but I was still hesitant. "I guess."

We were sitting on the bench and looking across the field where the squad
wasn't doing much but standing around talking. Alice was slightly apart and she
was holding a pompom in both hands like a mournful bouquet, gazing at me sadly.
Lauren was laughing about something with Jane.

"Want some advice?" Leah offered.

I looked at her. "Okay."

Leah smirked and nudged me with her elbow. "Get her drunk first," she said.
"Trust me on this one. Alcohol; straight chick's kryptonite."

I smiled and demurred. "I was thinking that maybe I should just tell her how I
feel," I said. "And let her decide."

But Leah was already shaking her head. "Score first," she said. "Talk about
your feelings later. Seriously. I've seduced a lot of straight chicks in my
lifetime and I know what I'm talking about. You can't treat this like a normal
relationship. There's no barriers between her and boys, but there's a barrier
between her and you, and before anything you need to smash that barrier. You
see what I'm saying? It's called tactics. Reveal your feelings only when she's
most likely to accept them, and remember; girl's are most vulnerable when you
got their clothes off. That's always been true."

By now the practice was breaking up, and some of the football team had gone
over to flirt with the cheerleaders. Lauren's boyfriend came over and tried to
put an arm around her, but she shied away, her eyes flickering toward me. He
tried again and she snapped at him. I smiled.

"She's not prey to me, Leah," I said. "She's a girl I like."

Leah chuckled once. "Sounds like prey to me."

"Besides," I added, "we're too young to drink."

"I'll slip you a bottle of something at the party, don't worry about it. Do you
know what you're wearing?"

I had no idea what I was wearing, but I figured school clothes were good
enough. Leah didn't agree. Casual clothes were fine if you were just going to a
party, but if you were going to a party with the intention to seduce a
cheerleader, it was wiser to wear something that might make the cheerleader in
question look twice. Leah herself made it a habit to dress with a sexy
flamboyance everywhere she went, and she advised that maybe I should try the
same. That's how I ended up going clothes shopping with Leah after school.

To be honest, I was very excited. Hard to believe that only a few month ago I'd
hated shopping. In any case, there was only one decent clothes shop in town,
and that was the fashion boutique run by Angela's mom. Angela herself was
behind the counter when we came in, and she seemed surprised to see us, and
maybe a little impressed. Leah had quickly developed a reputation as the
coolest chick in school, and hanging out with her was no small deal, especially
for a sophomore like me. I felt the distinction very keenly.

Leah and I browsed for a while and discussed my personal tastes and preferences
in party-apparel. Since I'd never been to a party, it was difficult to say, but
soon it became clear that black was really the only color that made me feel
sexy. Leah was the same way and we browsed with a strange camaraderie, holding
tops and skirts to our bodies, smiling, flattering each other, our tastes
pleasantly aligned.

Unfortunately, however, my tastes were also a little over-the-top. The outfit
I'd worn to Alice's house for dinner still caused me to cringe whenever I
thought about it, and I was in danger of making the same mistake again. Like a
crow or a raven, I gravitated toward things that were sparkly and flimsy,
oblivious to how odd I'd look compared to everyone else and thinking only of
how hot I'd be in my own mind. Fortunately, Leah was there to keep me grounded.
But not too grounded. She explained that individual style is important, but
style should always be relative to the occasion. One didn't wear an evening
dress to school and one didn't wear pants and a tee to the opera. That said,
however, there were certain exceptions to every rule. Such as goth fashion, for
instance. When the essence of the style is distinctiveness itself, one was well
within the bounds of fashion to dress oddly or inappropriately. Within reason,
of course.

This sounded appealing to me, and after scouring the store we at last arrived
at an outfit that satisfied my sense of awkward flamboyance and may even
impress Lauren. We'd found a sexy black top with black mesh sleeves that would
look great with my collar, and we also found a pleated black miniskirt. I was
going for a goth look, and the store even carried some goth accessories, so to
complete the ensemble, we perused the hosiery and selected a pair of black
thigh-high stockings that featured a spiderweb design. Inappropriate, but
stylish.

I was very excited about the outfit—especially the stockings—and I only hoped I
wouldn't look too ridiculous. Leah followed me into the tiny change room in the
back when I tried it on, and she assured me that I looked fine and I was too
sexy to look stupid. It was really nice of her to say, so I took it all off and
had sex with her before putting my other clothes back on. It was an act of
friendship, really, so I didn't beat myself up about it too much. I was still a
decent person; just affectionate. And I really missed Leah's pussy. It was the
nicest pussy I'd ever went down on, all soft and juicy like a peach. She sat on
the small stool in the corner and I was kneeling naked between her legs,
licking her out. Alice's was cuter, but for sheer sexy, few pussies could make
a girl salivate like Leah's.

I'd taken my time and maybe I took too long, because Angela commented when we
came to the counter with the clothes. She smirked at us and said:

"You guys were a long time in the there."

There was probably rules about having sex in the change room, but neither of us
confessed or apologized. Leah smirked.

"Are you suggesting something?"

Angela smiled, obviously just teasing. After all, two girls in a change room
and one of them a lesbian—it did seem a little scandalous. Like getting changed
with a guy, almost.

"Just saying," she said. "Kind of suspicious, that's all."

She was sorting the clothes. Leah watched her.

"Bella's orientation isn't a big deal to me," she said. "My sister's gay,
remember?"

Angela shrugged, no hard feelings. "It's not a big deal to me, either," she
said. "I was just teasing."

Leah smiled. "Do you like teasing people who are different?"

Angela paused with the top in her hand. She wasn't sure if Leah was upset.
"No," she said. "I mean, I was only playing."

"Just playing," Leah repeated.

Angela shrugged. "Yeah."

"I could tease you back, you know."

"I said I was sorry."

"No, you said you were playing."

"Well, I'm sorry. Okay?"

Leah smiled and looked at her. Angela was a little uncomfortable. I looked
between them, and Leah tossed her chin at the pile of purchases.

"How much for the clothes?" she asked.

"Um, seventy bucks."

I reached for my pocket, but Leah stopped me.

"I got it, Bella," she said. "Don't worry."

Angela seemed confused. "You're paying for her?"

Leah handed across the money. "Is that a problem?"

"No."

"Maybe I'm paying because I'm secretly in love with her."

Angela gave her a weird look. "I didn't say that."

"Were you thinking it?" Leah said, watching her.

"No."

"Hm."

Angela put the clothes in a bag with the receipt and passed it to me. I was
ready to go, but Leah stood there watching Angela. Angela squirmed.

"Will there be anything else?"

Leah smiled. "I don't know," she said. "Will there?"

"Huh?"

Leah glanced about the shop. "Do you sell underwear?"

"What?"

Leah turned back to Angela. "I said, do you sell underwear?"

Angela frowned, trying to be professional. "Um, no," she said. "We're a fashion
boutique. We only sell clothes and accessories."

Leah seemed disappointed. "That's a shame," she said. "I would've liked to buy
something for Bella."

"Oh."

"Something sexy," Leah added. "A thong, maybe. Just for fun. She'd look hot in
a thong, don't you think?"

Angela frowned even more, giving me a disgusted look. "No."

"I do," Leah said. "But she's very shy. That's why she'd need me in the change
room with her. So I can watch her try it on and tell her how sexy it looks on
her."

Angela didn't reply. An awkward blush had crept onto her cheeks and I could see
her swallow. Her eyes darted between us. Leah smiled and chuckled once.

"But maybe that seems suspicious to you," she said. "Maybe you think there's
something wrong with admiring another girl's body. Maybe you think that makes
me gay too."

"I didn't say that."

"Were you thinking it?"

"No."

"I think you were."

Angela snorted, finally losing her cool. "I think you're all a bunch of
freaks," she said.

But Leah only grinned. "Hey, don't get upset," she said soothingly. "I'm only
teasing."

Angela regained her composure and tried once more to be professional. "Will
there be anything else or not?" she asked.

"You already asked me that."

"Well, will there?"

"Actually, yes," Leah said. She plucked a random top off a nearby rack and held
it to her chest. "Let me ask you something. Does this top look cute on me?"

Angela didn't know what to say. She was supposed to flatter the customer, but
she was wary of Leah's teasing. She shrugged nonchalantly. "I guess," she said.

Leah smirked. "So you think I'm cute?"

"I said the top's cute."

"But is it cute on me?"

"Sure."

"Then you think I'm cute. With the top."

"Fine, I think you're cute."

"You do, do you? Well, well. That seems kind of suspicious to me. What do you
think, Bella?"

Angela was almost squirming by now. "This isn't funny, you know."

Leah grinned and put the top back on the rack. "It's funny to me," she said.
"Besides, you like playing with lesbians. That's what you said, isn't it?"

"That's not what I said."

"I'm pretty sure you did."

"I said I was only playing," Angela insisted. "As in, just making fun."

"Maybe I'm just making fun too," Leah said. Then she smirked and fixed her dark
eyes on Angela's. "Or maybe not. What do you think?"

Angela swallowed and looked away. "I don't know," she said. "How would I know?"

"Well, you're the one with the suspicions. Do you think I'm gay or not?"

"Of course not."

"Why?"

"You're too hot to be gay."

Leah grinned. "So now I'm hot?" she said. "Gee, maybe I really should be
suspicious."

Angela frowned. "That's not what I meant."

"No?"

"I just meant that you could have any guy you wanted, so—"

"—so why would I bother with a girl? Is that what you're saying?"

Angela looked at me hesitantly. I was trying not to smile. I had no idea why
Leah had the sudden desire to torment the poor girl like this, but it was
pretty funny. Angela turned back to Leah.

"I don't know," she said.

Leah smirked. "You don't seem to have very firm opinions on any of this, do
you?"

"I never thought about it."

"But you do think I'm hot."

"I was just saying that."

"So now you don't think I'm hot?"

"Of course not."

"What if I think you're hot?"

Angela scoffed, but she was blushing. "I don't care."

Leah smirked. "Are you too hot to be a lesbian?"

"No."

"That's good to know."

"Why?"

"Because maybe I could ask you out sometime."

Angela scoffed again, and blushed even more. "I have a boyfriend," she said.

Leah smirked flirtily and leaned with her elbows on the counter, bunching her
breasts between her arms. "Is he as hot as me?" she asked.

"That's not…"

She may've been distracted by Leah's cleavage.

"Not what?" Leah prompted.

Angela swallowed. "I don't like girls."

"Maybe you do and you don't know it yet."

"I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Why what?"

"Why don't you like girls?"

Angela couldn't seem to think of a reason. Then she shrugged, a little
frantically. "Because they're girls," she said. "It's gross."

Leah was still leaning on the counter with her elbows, arms folded under her
breasts. "What about me?" she asked, shifting slightly so that her breasts
pressed against her folded arms and swelled against her tanktop, almost
preening. "Am I gross?"

"No, but…"

"But what?"

"You're a girl," Angela blurted. "Besides, you're not even gay."

"I'm not?" Leah smirked. "I thought you were suspicious?"

"I told you I was just playing."

"You did, didn't you? Hm."

Angela looked at me, perhaps hoping I'd come to her rescue. I stood there
holding the bag, trying not to grin. Leah looked at Angela for a second and
then she tapped the countertop with her fingernail and unleaned from it.

"What's you're name again?" Leah asked.

Angela was wary. "Angela," she replied.

"Angela," Leah repeated. "Wanna see something hot, Angela?"

"Huh?"

Leah smiled and spoke slowly. "I said," she almost whispered, "do you wanna see
something hot?"

Angela shook her head. "No."

Leah smirked and chuckled once. "Watch this," she said, and then she turned to
me. She put one hand around my neck and the other at my waist. My throat went
tight and my face heated as I realized what she was about to do.

Angela panicked. "What the fuck are you doing?"

I'd never heard Angela swear before. From the panic in her voice you'd think
Leah was about to stab me, but all she did was lean to my lips and kiss me.
Slowly, graphically. I'd never been used as a tool to titillate a straight
girl, but I found that I had little objection. Leah slid her tongue into my
mouth and swirled it around so that Angela could see. She caressed the nape of
my neck. I moaned, and not just for effect; it really was a hot kiss.

When it was over, even I was dazed. Angela had been staring. Her face had gone
pale but for two splotches of red on her cheeks and her mouth was open. Leah
smirked at her and winked.

"You don't need to be gay to like girls," she said. "You only need to be
adventurous."

Then she turned and walked away. Her hips rolled under her leather skirt and
Angela looked without realizing. Then she looked at me. But I had nothing to
say. I was as flabbergasted as she was, and without speaking, I turned and
hurried to catch up with Leah.

Leah was already straddling her bike and she passed me the helmet as I came up.

"She's cute, isn't she?" Leah said, tossing her chin toward the shop. "I think
I might pay her a visit sometime."

I'd never had suspicions about Angela, but after all that, it did seem as if
she might not be perfectly straight. I climbed on behind Leah and wrapped my
arms around her waist. "Is she gay?" I asked, since I knew Leah could smell
hormones and things.

"Probably not," Leah said, revving the throttle. "But she wouldn't be too hard
to flip."

I chuckled and Leah accelerated from the curb.

But we didn't go home right away. She took me to a department store where we
picked up a few extras, mostly makeup. Eyeliner, mascara, lipstick. All black.
We also bought a bottle of black nail polish and a black thong from the
underwear department. I was a little hesitant on the thong, but since I wasn't
actually going to get lucky and no one was actually going to see it, I figured
there was no harm. A little discomfort, perhaps, but I'd been developing a warm
regard for my body lately, and I wanted it to look good, outside and inside.
I'd just have to make sure that mom never finds out, since she seemed to be
convinced that thong underwear was evil. It would be a hassle to hand wash it
in secret, but nobody said being a bad girl is easy.

All in all, it was the most fun I'd had in a long time. I never thought I'd be
the kind of girl who would have fun shopping, but it wasn't just the shopping.
It was simply cool to be ferried through town on the back of a bike with your
arms around the sexiest girl in school. It got me thinking if maybe I should be
focusing my romantic intentions on Leah instead of Lauren. Leah was a vampire,
sure, and yeah, she did assist Jane in fucking me into a coma a couple weeks
ago. But all that had been mostly my fault, really. Leah had warned me against
it and even offered non-sexual companionship. It was me who'd practically
begged for it. Still, as much I as liked and admired Leah, I was pretty sure it
wasn't love, just hero-worship mixed with sexual attraction. And in any case,
she already had a soulmate; Jane. Neither of them would ever pick me over each
other. They just liked to feed from me and use me as a fuck-toy. Which was
fine, really. Even appropriate. I didn't mind offering myself as a snack,
because let's face it; I'm not really good for much else.

I'd promised myself that I wasn't going to whore my blood anymore, but that was
almost a week ago, and it's not like I had a girlfriend yet. So when she
dropped me off outside my house, I handed back the helmet, and coyly asked if
she wanted to come in for a little bit. She seemed to know what I meant and she
asked me if I was sure. She said she was cool if I wanted to be just friends,
but her consideration only made me want her more.

Mom was already home by then and she was happy to see Leah. After all, this was
the girl who'd sent me flowers in hospital and come to visit me twice. Of
course, she was also one of the girls who'd put me there, but mom didn't know
that. I told her that me and Leah were gonna study upstairs for a bit, and mom
seemed pleased that I was focused on my school work. I tried to feel guilty
about deceiving her so shamelessly, but it was beyond me at the moment. Leah
followed me upstairs, and I closed my bedroom door, lowered my pants, and
fingered myself as she bit into my neck and groped my boobs. I'd feel guilty
later, but for now; it was just too awesome.

—

I was excited about the party. So excited that I tried on my outfit twice on
Friday, once immediately after school, and again before bed. Lauren had
reminded me about the party at school and told me when she'd be picking me up.
Eight o'clock. And don't be fucking late. I told her I wouldn't and somehow
refrained from asking if she thought black lipstick was hot.

Then it was Saturday, and naturally enough my excitement was instantly engulfed
by a gaping pit of anxiety. After all, I was going to look stupid and Lauren
would probably regret even inviting me. She might even just drive away laughing
and leave me on the sidewalk with my black clothes and blacker heart. I mean, I
might as well go kill myself it was so hopeless. In fact, I almost chickened
out from going at all, but no, this was the new Bella, goth Bella, the Bella
that dresses according to her personality without reference to convention or
social protocol. I'm allowed to wear clothes I like. So what if I'll look odd
and out of place. My own opinion is the only one that matters. Um, right?

But no, that wasn't true. Lauren's opinion mattered too, since she's the one
I'm trying to turn on. But there was no guarantee she'll think I'll look
stupid. Maybe she'll respect my bold sense of fashion. Maybe she'll take one
look at me and simply faint from sexual attraction. Anything was possible,
although in all likelihood, she'll probably just make fun of me.

In any case, I liked my new clothes and Leah herself had said they looked sexy
on me. So I swallowed my anxiety and got changed after dinner. I went for a
shower, just in case Lauren wanted to smell my hair at some point, and then I
went into my room and dropped my towel. My clothes were laid out on my bed and
I put the thong on first, wriggling into it and patting the waistband
affectionately; I liked kinky underwear. I liked it even better on other
people, but it was nice on me too, especially when no one else knew I was
wearing it. It was less embarrassing that way. Next, the bra. It was black, of
course, and a size larger than what I wore a month ago. Why, I almost felt like
a grown woman. After that, the stockings. This was the tricky part. I'd never
worn stockings before, but these were thigh-highs and they seemed simple
enough. I sat on the edge of my bed and threaded my legs into them, one at a
time. They were like really long socks that reached mid-thigh, only thin, see-
through, sexy. They instantly became my favorite piece of the ensemble. I loved
the spiderweb design and I took a moment to admire them, leaning back on the
bed and lifting my leg, turning it slightly, extending my foot to keep a seemly
shape. Yeah; definitely hot.

I was slightly more confident as I donned the rest of my outfit. The skirt was
simple enough, black pleats that were just short enough to show a glimmer of
thigh above the stockings. The top was black with black mesh sleeves off the
shoulder and black lace trim. It didn't show cleavage, but you could see my
brastraps, which was pretty cool. Finally I put on my black leather collar and
then I looked myself over in the mirror. I posed a little, allowing myself a
smile. The black looked wonderful against my pale skin and I thought I looked
pretty good. A little daring, perhaps, but sexy enough to get away with it. I
just hoped Lauren would agree. I wondered if it was possible she'd simply go
crazy and have to have me. That would be cool.

But I didn't have time to stand there pontificating. I still had to put my
makeup on, and I did it very carefully in front of the bathroom mirror, anxious
not to mess it up. I applied the eyeliner and the mascara thick and went
sparing with the eyeshadow. The lipstick wasn't exactly black, more of a very
dark burgundy, and it complemented me nicely. When I was done I brushed my hair
one more time and tied it into two long dark pigtails. I was pretty sure
pigtails were a goth thing. I'd seen it on TV. Then I sprayed some perfume on
my neck and a quick squirt in my hair, and finally CinderBella was ready for
the ball.

I was planning to meet Lauren outside, but I had to say bye to mom first.
Needless to say, she was rather startled at my outfit, but she rallied herself
and pretended to admire it. I could tell she was dying to order me to put on a
sweater, a pair of pants, and maybe a biohazard suit on top of it all, but she
told me I looked nice and even told me to have fun. This was very gracious of
her, but unless Lauren was willing to go lezzy overnight, I probably wouldn't
be having huge amounts of fun. At most, all I could hope for was some kind of
tender emotional moment that may eventually blossom into a full confession of
hopes and feelings. In the mean time, I hoped she'd at least check out my legs.
I mean, seriously; I'm not wearing these stockings for nothing.

In any case, I kissed mom goodbye, and went outside to wait in the dark and the
cold. The cold didn't seem to bother me lately, but I shivered anyway, mostly
from nervousness. I wished me and Lauren could just skip to happily ever after
without all this tension and anxiety, but we hadn't even made it to first base
yet. I suppose that was the one thing I didn't like about Lauren; she didn't
want to fuck me. It was sweet that she seemed to like my company, but after a
girl like Alice, it was difficult not to feel slightly wounded that Lauren
wasn't interested in getting a hand up my skirt. Not while she's huddled in her
closet, anyway.

Ah, Alice. The clouds had cleared slightly and there was a thin crescent of
moon up there. And where was Alice this evening? Victoria and Rosalie still
hadn't been back at school, and I wondered if Alice regretted leaving them so
abruptly. And she hadn't just left them; she'd left them for me. A girl who
claimed she didn't love her, didn't want her. And the whole time secretly
fantasizing about her.

I looked up and down the street, and then I saw it. Alice's chrome silver
Volvo, parked under a tree with the moonlight glimmering evilly off the hood. I
tried not to smile, but it was hard. It was so cool having a stalker who was
hot and who you secretly lusted for. And here I was, all dressed up in my skirt
and stockings, pale and soft in the moonlight, full of warm wet blood. It was
disturbing how much I wished she'd just snatch me off the sidewalk and take me
to a dungeon somewhere, chain me up and never let me go. Did she like my new
outfit? Could she see it properly from there? She'd probably be at the party,
so I guess she'd get a better view later. Poor Alice. I knew how she felt,
longing for someone she couldn't have. I longed for her, too. I just wish—

A car was coming from the other direction, and when I turned and looked, I saw
it was Lauren's old blue Toyota. She was early, slightly, and I thought that
was a good sign. She pulled up beside me, and I opened the door and got in.

She spoke first, and she didn't compliment my hair.

"Jeez, what's with the black?" she said, staring at me as if I was wearing a
dead bear. "We're going to a party, not a funeral."

I smiled and shrugged, blushing as if she'd said I look cute. "I like black," I
said.

She looked at me, shook her head, and snorted. "You look like a fucking
corpse," she said, although not really meanly. "This ain't Halloween, you know.
There's no prize for best costume."

I smiled. She'd stolen a glance at my legs. She tried to hide it, but I saw it,
and it made me very excited.

Heehee.

But I refrained from giggling out loud. She'd started driving and I took the
opportunity to glance her over. She was wearing cream-colored cargoes and a
pink top with a sequined love-heart on it. It wasn't much different from what
she'd wear to school, but she was also wearing light makeup, pink lipstick and
a light dusting of blush and eyeshadow. Her hair was straight, pale, and shiny
like always.

She never wore makeup to school. I thought she looked pretty and I decided to
tell her. I didn't know if it was a smart move or not, but the whole point of
all this was to let her know I like her, so I swallowed my anxiety and said:
"You look nice."

She shot me a look. "Nice?" she said, as if I'd accused her of having a pimple.

"Yeah, nice," I smiled. "Is that a problem?"

Her face darkened a little. "Look, just so we're clear," she said, "this ain't
a fucking date, alright? I'm giving you a ride; that's it."

But for some reason this didn't discourage me. And if she was determined on
being a total homophobe for the rest of her life, then this wasn't going to
work, anyway. So I decided to push her a little.

"I didn't say it was a date," I said. "I only said you look nice."

She paused for a second, glanced at me, and then focused on the road. "Well,
thanks," she muttered. "Now shut the fuck up about it."

"Your hair looks really beautiful, too."

A sudden grin crossed her face, as if she just couldn't believe I'd said that.
I'd even surprised myself. I'd said it half mockingly, to protect myself, but
we both knew I meant it.

"You better shut up with that gay shit," she said. "I told you this ain't a
fucking date."

I smirked. "Are you sure? Because I'd totally put out if it was."

This time she tossed me a wild look and burst out laughing. The car even
swerved a little. "Shut the fuck up, Bella," she said, trying not to grin.
"Seriously."

I smiled, and decided to give her a break. It was subtle progress on our road
to a sexually active relationship, and maybe by the end of the night I'd have
the courage to chance a kiss. I turned my smile to the rearview mirror, but the
smile faded when I saw that familiar Volvo creeping along behind us. Alice.
Alice, Alice, Alice.

The party had already started by the time we got there, which wasn't surprising
since it had started half an hour before Lauren had even picked me up. We'd
been talking less and less as we drove, the tension building as we approached
the place where people might actually see us together, and when we pulled up in
the parking lot, I got my first disappointment. Lauren ditched me pretty much
instantly, hurrying out of the car and away from me as if she didn't even know
me. I guess I could understand how she didn't want to make it general knowledge
that she'd had a lesbian in her car, but it still hurt a little.

I'd never been to a beach party before—or any party—and I was surprised that
there was a bonfire going. The sky was mostly dark and the fire was very bright
and very orange, with flickers of green and blue from the burning saltwood.
There were logs arranged around it in the sand were people could sit and sing
campsongs perhaps, but there weren't many people sitting. Someone had bought a
stereo and it seemed to be blaring the poppy playlist of a sixteen year old
girl. Which was entirely possible, since most of the girls here would be about
sixteen. Personally, I was more into metal. I think love songs are stupid.

Leah and Jane were there and they seemed happy to see me, although the feeling
wasn't quite mutual. Leah's outfit was simpler than mine, yet she still looked
sexier. I knew it was unfair to compare myself to a tall and toned female
vampire, but I took a hit to my self-esteem, nonetheless. We'd only been
chatting for a little bit before a group of boys were calling for Leah. One of
them had bought a football and they were trying to start up a game in the sand.
They wanted Leah to play, and surprisingly, Leah obliged them. They threw the
ball at her, she caught it, and jogged out to join them. By then some of the
boys had noticed that my skirt was short and several of them called out a few
rugged compliments that did nothing to increase my affection for the male
species. I watched Leah joking around with the jocks and I wondered if she was
bi. If so, she was going to make one of them extremely happy. But somehow I got
the impression that Leah's feelings for guys weren't particularly sexual. She
seemed to treat them like puppies, and no matter how much one likes puppies,
one wouldn't necessarily have sex with them.

Left alone, Jane and I wandered over to join Lauren and company. My appearance
within this inner circle stunted conversation and triggered a quick cat-attack,
each girl verbally clawing at my outfit until I felt shredded and sad. Me and
Leah were the only girls at the party bold enough to reveal over fifty percent
of our bodies, but Leah was cool and popular, and I was just a lowly lesbian.
So I got teased. Lauren was oddly silent, and she seemed to feel sorry for me
even if she didn't leap to my defense and bitch slap my tormenters into the
sand. Strangely, it was Jane who came to my rescue. My blood must be very
tasty, because I never thought Jane would ever stick up for me. But she did.
Discreetly, but decisively, not actually defending me but rather attacking my
attackers. She laughed scornfully and made cutting observations about my
critic's own clothes, suggesting that the finer points of fashion might be
beyond the kind of girl who shops at Wal-Mart. Jessica had the audacity to
mention how gross it was that my brastraps were showing, and this turned out to
be a pretty big mistake, because Jessica was overweight, a fact that Jane was
quick to point out. Jane then went on to advise that before Jessica takes it
upon herself to comment on the grossness of others, she might want to lose a
few pounds and wear looser pants, because there wasn't anything grosser around
here than her own fat ass. Even the other girls laughed at this, and Jessica
just glared sullenly. She probably wasn't going to develop an eating disorder,
but it was nice that her feelings were hurt.

Soon after this, Lauren's boyfriend came along and Lauren was forced to go away
with him. She didn't look happy about it, but she went. They went for a walk
somewhere, toward the parking lot, and I watched them go sadly. I'd only come
to the party so I could try and corner Lauren into some kind of romantic
situation, but so far we'd barely spoke two words to each other. Why did she
even bother with her boyfriend when it was so obvious she didn't even like him?
Was her denial so strong that she'd be with a guy she didn't like? I hoped they
weren't going to fuck somewhere. I knew they'd done it before, of course, but
I'd prefer my future girlfriend to be as untainted as possible.

In any case, I was only here for Lauren, and now that Lauren was gone, I sat by
myself at the fire, staring into the red embers sullenly. This was going to be
a long courtship. And maybe in the end it was all just a waste of time. She was
never going to openly date me, and even if she did, how long would she stay
with me? A few months? A year? I mean, it's not like we're going to get married
one day and have babies. We probably won't even go to the same college. Was it
really worth all this stress and aggravation? Lauren wasn't my soulmate. Lauren
wasn't my destiny.

But Alice…

Suddenly two hands reached from behind me and covered my eyes. I would've
freaked out, but the touch made me tingle and I caught a scent of lavender on
the breeze.

"Guess who?" said a beautiful voice.

I smiled slightly. "Hey," I said.

Alice giggled and sat on the log beside me. She was wearing a practically
weightless sundress, pale yellow, and she had her butterfly hairclip in her
hair. Her pretty face flickered in the orange glow of the bonfire and she was
smiling.

"Hi," she said. "Did you know I was going to be here?"

I'd seen her follow me, but I shook my head. "No."

By then she'd noticed my legs, and she inhaled sharply, as if she'd just
witnessed something rare and beautiful. "Wow, pretty stockings," she said.
"Where'd you get them?"

The compliment hit me so hard it almost made me cry. But I had no idea if she
meant it or if she was only trying to weaken me up. So I gave a little shrug.
"Leah bought them for me," I said.

She giggled and gestured at my neck. "They go with your collar," she said.
"That collar always looked cute on you."

I touched my throat self-consciously. I still remembered when she'd explained
that the collar was symbolic of her ownership of me. It was a shame it was only
symbolic. But I was gracious enough to accept the compliment. "Thanks," I said.

She nodded, still smiling brightly. "I've always loved black on you," she said.
"That goth look really suits you."

I smiled, but didn't reply. What exactly do you say to a charming stalker with
whom you'd love to go down on? She seemed to have run out of compliments, and
slowly her smile slipped away. The silence dragged awkwardly. I could hear the
fire crackle and the stereo somewhere in the dark. Her dress was knee length,
and her pale calves glowed orange in the firelight. I could feel the heat of
the blaze on my face and on my own legs, and after a while Alice spoke.

"Bella, when are you going to take me back?"

Her voice tore at my heart. It was quiet and plaintive. As if she was sick of
all the games and just wanted me back. But I held strong, forcing myself to
remember that technically Alice was the villain of my story and Lauren was the
heroine. Lauren represented my salvation; Alice represented bloody depravity.
It was difficult to resist, but I had to. So I shrugged again, hugging myself
around my middle.

"I don't know," I said, trying to be gentle. "Maybe I won't."

"Yes, you will," she said. "You have to. Don't you know how much it hurts me to
be alone?"

"I'm sorry, Alice."

Alice bowed her head. I watched the firelight play over her face. God, she was
beautiful. I felt so sorry for her, and I decided that maybe I should try and
explain what I'm feeling. I hated talking about my feelings, but maybe it would
help her understand.

"Listen," I said. "Do you want to know the truth?"

She looked at me with interest. Flames flickered in her dark eyes and her
lashes were so achingly long. "Yes," she said.

I swallowed. "The truth is," I said quietly. "I still love you. I never
stopped. I probably never will. You'll always be special to me, Alice."

A slow smile lit her face and I quickly added:

"But…"

She frowned. "But what?"

I shrugged helplessly. "I just can't be with a vampire," I said. "I mean,
you're kind of evil, you know?"

"I'm not evil, Bella," she whispered. Then a mischievous glint twinkled in her
eyes and she touched my stockinged knee suggestively, almost as if she couldn't
help herself. "Just a little naughty."

My throat went tight at the touch, but I pushed her hand away. "Maybe not
evil," I said. "But you're pretty bad. I mean, I'm sixteen years old and
you're, like, a grown woman. It's illegal to, you know. Have sex me. And not
only that, but there was all that stuff with my mom. I've been lying to her
ever since I met you and even now I'm still lying to her. And then there's
stuff at school. I stopped doing homework when I was dating you and skipped all
those days. I mean, you're a bad influence, Alice. You know?"

They sounded like serious issues to me, but Alice seemed to be trying not to
smile. "Bella," she said. "I'm sure all that seems like a big deal to you now,
but in the long run, none of it matters. Love transcends age, you'll have
centuries to finish highschool, and as for your mother…" She gave me a certain
smirk. "I'm more important."

The sheer boldness of that claim made my heart flutter. And maybe in some
twisted way it was true. Even in a marriage vow you're suppose to "forsake all
others." A soulmate would seem to take priority over family, but my mother was
like a goddess to me, and it seemed sacrilegious to admit I'd ever love anyone
else more. So I used her claim as ammo against her.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about, Alice," I said. "You're too intense.
It's not normal. It's not healthy. And what happens when I become a vampire and
you can't drink my blood anymore? What happens then?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Her face trembled in the
firelight. She seemed embarrassed, and I shook my head at her.

"See?" I said, angry tears welling in my eyes. "All you want is my blood."

She looked at me imploringly. "That's not true, baby."

But I just bowed my head and dabbed my eyes with a knuckle. I couldn't afford
to cry with so much eyeliner. I look stupid enough as it is. I sniffed and
looked up. I opened my mouth, but then I noticed Lauren. She'd returned to the
party and she was standing at the edge of the firelight, glaring at me and
Alice uncertainly. I felt a quick flash of warmth and turned to Alice.

"It doesn't even matter, Alice," I said. "Because now I have a chance with
Lauren. A chance at a real highschool relationship. I never thought I'd ever
have that, but…"

Alice frowned at the mention of Lauren. "She'll never love you like I love
you."

And that was the exact reason why Lauren was the better choice. Because she was
normal. Kind of. Lauren at least wasn't fixated on my blood to the exclusion of
all else. So I looked at Alice.

"If you truly loved me," I said, "you'd want me to be happy."

It was well delivered, and a line like that would certainly work in a movie.
But Alice wasn't a typical romantic cliché, and it hardly seemed to faze her.

"I do truly love you, Bella," she said, taking my hands and holding them. "And
that's why I know you'll be happiest with me. Okay?"

It seemed to make sense, even to me, but I tugged my hands away gently.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I said. I stood up and dusted the seat of my skirt. "I'll
always remember you, and you'll always be special to me, but…" I glanced at
Lauren, who was still watching, and then I looked down at Alice, sitting there
in her yellow sundress, ethereally pale and pretty in the firelight. "I have to
at least try to be a decent person, you know? If I went back to you… it would
be like giving up."

Alice didn't answer, but I could see in her eyes that even if she was willing
to let me go for now, she'd never let me go forever. Not as long as my blood
flowed. But there was nothing left to say tonight, so I turned away and went
over to Lauren, who'd seemed to be waiting for me.

Lauren and I went walking on the beach. The party sucked, apparently, and since
I was there I might as well go with her. So we started walking aimlessly, away
from the bonfire, trudging along in the sand. It got darker and colder, and I
could barely see her in the pale light of the moon. The sea heaved blackly in
the dark and I could hear the waves crashing. The sound of the stereo had faded
a while ago.

Leah had given Lauren a bottle of Vodka, and we passed it back and forth as we
walked. Lauren was walking fairly close to me—so close I could smell her
perfume when the breeze picked up—so I suppose the alcohol was doing it's job.
I didn't think it would loosen her up to the point where she'd take off her
clothes, but it was nice to hear her giggle. She was a giggly drunk, and she'd
had over half the bottle. I'd never had hard liquor before, but I handled it
manfully. It burned my throat a little on the first sip, but I didn't wince or
cough. Lauren almost seemed disappointed. I think she wanted to make fun of me.
I'd drank quite a bit by now, but I wasn't sure if I was drunk. My body felt
hot and I seemed to be sweating under my arms, but I wasn't stumbling that I
was aware of. Lauren was having a little more trouble, and soon she was leaning
on me as we walked, her arm around me, warm and sweet smelling. It was almost
romantic, but she was talking about how much she needed to pee, and eventually
she had to duck behind a bush. I had to pee too, but I would've felt awkward
using the same spot, so I waited a bit and found a bush of my own.

We continued on, further down the barren stretch of beach. We passed the
bottle. The sand was dark blue and there was nothing in front of us or behind
us but beach. On our left was the sea. On our right was a high cliff-face. The
road was on top of the cliff, but you couldn't see the beach from there. We
were entirely alone. No sound at all but the waves. Somehow I'd started talking
about Alice, and about how she wouldn't leave me alone even though I kept
telling her to go away. Lauren nodded and sipped, coughed, and laughed.

"I can't believe that little freak still wants you back," she said. "I mean,
seriously."

I chuckled once. "Yeah," I said. "It's, like, so pathetic."

Obviously the alcohol hadn't improved our eloquence. Lauren sipped again and
passed me the bottle. "You're not listening to her bullshit, are you?"

I shook my head and sipped, resisting the urge to lick the rim where Lauren's
lips had touched. Still; indirect kiss. "No," I said. "She's not… I mean… You
know."

I waved a hand. She seemed to understand. She took the bottle back and chugged
the rest. She didn't even wipe the rim. There wasn't much left, but it was
enough to make her cringe, squeal, and giggle.

"Hey, guess what?"

"What?"

"I broke up with my boyfriend."

She didn't even pretend this was sad news. She giggled and gestured with the
empty bottle drunkenly, almost like a victory toast. I grinned and she went on.

"He wanted to do me in his truck," she said, "and I was like; fuck that. No
way. I'm just sick of pretending, you know? I mean, fuck it. Why should I?"

"Yeah," I agreed.

She smiled and went to sip from the bottle. But it was empty. "Oh," she said to
the bottle. She seemed to be puzzled about what she was supposed to do with it
now that it was empty, and then she grinned, reared back, and threw it into the
ocean. It was so dark I couldn't even see where it splashed. It was cold, but I
was hot.

Lauren laughed and slapped my shoulder to get my attention. "Hey, you know what
we should do?"

I grinned; there were several things I thought we should do. But I said:
"What?"

"Go swimming," she said. She gestured at the water with a sweep of her hand. "I
mean, it's a fucking beach, right?"

I chuckled and tried to frown. "Do you have any idea how cold that shit would
be?"

"Come on, don't be a bitch."

"We don't even have swimsuits."

"So?"

Lauren was already taking off her clothes. Startlingly, she was wearing pink
underwear. Plain cotton with frilly elastic. It looked like something a twelve
year old would wear. Her breasts were small, her figure slim, and she looked
strangely young to me. So much younger than Leah or Jane or Alice. She kicked
off her shoes and noticed that I hadn't moved.

"Come on, hurry up," she said. "What are you waiting for?"

I looked down at myself. I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of my skirt and
suddenly I remembered what I was wearing underneath.

"Oh fuck," I said.

She was undressed by now, and she looked at me with her hands on her hips,
waiting. "What?"

"I can't take off my clothes."

"Don't worry, you're not that fat."

"No, I mean…"

She frowned, the beginnings of impatience and disappointment flickering over
her face. "What?"

I blushed. I couldn't think of any excuse that was less embarrassing, so I told
her the truth. "I'm wearing a thong."

She still had her hands on her hips and suddenly she was trying not to grin,
standing there in her underwear with the night wind tousling her long blonde
hair. "No way."

"Yeah."

A giggle escaped her. "Bullshit."

"Nope."

She flapped a hand at me. "Let me see."

"What?"

"Come on, prove it," she grinned. "I don't believe you."

I was very embarrassed, but I was excited that she wanted to see, even if she'd
make fun of me. So I took off my top first, to buy some time, and then I pushed
down my skirt. It fell at my feet, and I felt the breeze on my bare ass. I
stepped out of the skirt daintily and twirled once, quickly, so that she could
see.

"Oh my god," she said. Her grin was almost glowing by now and suddenly she
burst out laughing. "I don't believe it," she giggled. "You in a thong! That's
the scariest thing I ever seen."

I blushed, standing there in my black underwear and black stockings. "Thanks,"
I muttered, shivering in the cold.

She was still laughing. "I mean, what the fuck were you thinking? Did you think
you were gonna get lucky tonight or something?"

"I just thought it's sexy, that's all."

"You're fucking crazy."

I put my hands on my hips. My black hair was blowing about my face. "Are we
going swimming or not?"

Lauren stopped laughing, but her smile didn't go away. She raked her eyes over
my body excitedly, biting her lip, and then she shrugged. "Okay," she said.
"Let's go."

Then she giggled and ran out toward the water. Easy for her; her boobs didn't
bounce embarrassingly. I followed at a slightly slower pace and Lauren was
already shrieking in the surf. I almost shrieked too when my foot touched the
water. I hadn't taken off my stockings and I hoped the salt water wouldn't ruin
them.

Lauren dove in the hip-deep water and came up with her hair dark and stuck to
her face and back. She turned to me grinning, her lips blue. I was wading out
carefully with my elbows tucked and hands out, surprisingly girlish. Usually I
tried to be butch about enduring pain and discomfort, but the cold was already
chattering my teeth and the water only came to my knees. An icy wave rolled up
and kissed the inside of my thighs. I screamed at the sheer coldness of it and
Lauren burst out laughing.

"Aw, come on," she cried. "Stop being such a bitch."

She slapped at the water and splashed me. I freaked out and screamed again.

"Lauren!"

But she only laughed and splashed me some more. I grinned and turned my side to
her helplessly, trying to protect myself with my arms, dancing on the spot
under this cruel and icy barrage.

"Stop it!" I shrieked, giggling. "Oh god, that's cold!"

Blindly, I splashed back, but Lauren came after me and grabbed my arm. I
squealed and flailed away, fearing she'd dunk me, and then I spun around and
started running through the water. She chased me, giggling, and I was giggling
too, giggling and screaming as the icy water splashed all around me, on my
legs, my butt, my chest and arms.

Then I tripped on a rock. I yelped, lost my balance, and fell into the water.
The sheer coldness of it stabbed at me like knives and when I broke the surface
my breath rolled from my mouth like smoke. Lauren was helping me up, grinning
and holding my arm. I stood up, dripping, my hair soaked and freezing, and I
looked at Lauren.

"Thanks," I said. It didn't occur to me that she was the one who'd been chasing
me and splashing me to begin with.

She grinned, her jaw visibly chattering. "You okay?"

I nodded, hugging myself. It was only a short run but my breath was heaving. I
tried to swallow, but my teeth were chattering very violently. "Yeah," I said.
"I slipped on something."

And then we just stood there, shivering and staring at each other. We were
almost exactly the same height, but I was slightly hunched, so I looked
shorter. A wave came up and rolled against our hips. It was dark and there was
no sound but the water and our breathing. My hair dripped coldly onto my bare
shoulders. She was staring at my face and I smiled at her hesitantly. Her bra
was plastered to her breasts and her nipples were stiff.

"Is my makeup ruined?" I asked.

She shook her head, still staring. There seemed to be tears in her eyes, but I
couldn't be sure. "No," she said, almost whispering. "You look… You…"

She kissed me.

My eyes flew open in surprise and I stopped shivering instantly. Her hands were
on my shoulders and her lips were pressed to mine. Lauren's lips. I was so
shocked I couldn't move. Then I felt her lips move against mine slightly and I
let my eyes fall shut. I put my arms around her and kissed her back.

The wind blew, a waved rolled against our legs. She tilted her face and parted
her lips slightly, a low moan escaping her. I requested entry with my tongue
and she opened her lips wider. I touched her tongue with mine and I could taste
the alcohol in her mouth. I moaned and stroked her back. She experimented with
her own tongue, letting it curl against mine. Her arms snaked around my neck
and she pulled me closer, deepening the kiss.

"Oh god."

I wasn't even sure who said it. It could've been me, it could've been her. My
head was hazy from the kiss and the alcohol, and I moaned into her mouth. I was
shivering again and the kiss was becoming more urgent. Her breath blasted me
between pauses and suddenly she was kissing my neck. I tilted my head back and
felt her lips on the flesh around my collar and for one dizzy moment I thought
she was going to bite me. Wanted her to bite me.

But she didn't. Lauren wasn't like that. She made a whimper and captured my
lips once more. Her hand descended down my back and cupped my butt, and she
moaned as she squeezed it. I wrapped a leg around her and pushed my tongue into
her mouth in response. She ran a hand over my stocking and I could hear water
drip from my leg. She moaned again, her tongue pushing back.

"Oh fuck you're hot," she hissed.

I opened my eyes and panted at her. "Lauren," I whispered.

She kissed me again, savagely, and then she took my hand. "Come on," she said,
and together we went ashore, trembling and dripping in our underwear, and our
breath smoking in the cold.

We found a rocky place where there was no sand and we spread our clothes on the
ground. Neither of us spoke. Lauren had knelt to arrange the clothes and I
knelt beside her. I was so cold, but my skin felt like it was on fire. She
turned and wrapped her arms around me. She laid me down and started kissing me.

And kissing me.

And kissing me.

She kissed me for a very long time and her hands roamed all over my body and
she was rubbing her body against mine for friction. It was so cold, but it
wasn't only the cold that was making me shudder against her. Her nipple under
my hand felt like a pebble in the wet cotton of her bracup and her hair hung
like blonde seaweed. She pushed my bra over my breasts and squeezed me in her
hands.

"Lauren," I hissed.

She said nothing. She shifted between my legs, and without looking at my face,
she pulled away my panties and lowered her mouth to my pussy.

My back arched and my feet peddled in the air. It felt so amazing. Lauren.
Lauren's mouth. She licked and kept licking, and I moaned, writhing on our damp
bed of clothes. She bought me to a climax very quickly and when it was over she
wouldn't look at me. She sat there in her underwear, breathing heavy, her
blonde hair dangling in dark clumps. I touched her shoulder and she turned to
me. Her eyes flickered over mine and away again. Waves crashed on the beach. I
smiled and leaned slowly to kiss her. She stiffened for a second, but then she
let me lay her down.

I removed her bra and kissed her nipples, licked them, sucked on them. Her
breasts were small, but her nipples were large and swollen. I could taste the
salt water on her body. I trailed kisses down her stomach and kissed the front
of her panties, making her moan as I dragged a long lick across the damp
fabric. I pulled them away and kissed at her pussy, teasing her. Her hips
twitched and she was whimpering. I spread her with my fingers and licked inside
her. She moaned. She tasted tart and salty. I kept licking and her breathing
became harder and faster and finally she squirmed and cried and climax.

It had gotten darker and I could barely see her. We were both shivering
violently, but I was happy in a way that I'd never been before. I couldn't
believe it; me and Lauren. It had truly happened. I'd been dreaming and
fantasizing about this since middle school and I couldn't believe it had
actually and truly happened.

I'd crawled on top of her and I was waiting for her to catch her breath. She
had her face averted but it was too dark to see her expression. I kissed her
cheek, once, twice, and then I made a soft giggling sound.

"I always knew you were gay," I whispered.

I knew instantly it was the wrong thing to say; she stopped breathing and her
whole body went rigid. It wasn't supposed to sound smug. It was supposed to be
accepting and understanding. It was supposed to let her know that we were same
and she could be herself around me. But she must've got the wrong impression.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

Her voice was cold, colder than the wind that blew over my naked body.

"N-nothing," I stuttered, but I knew it was too late.

"Get the fuck off me," she said.

"Lauren—"

She screamed, "Get off!"

I froze, unsure. She was trying to push me away and she made a disgusted sound
when her hand squished my breast. As if she'd touched something gross by
accident. I quickly rolled off her and started panicking as she jumped up and
sorted through the clothes frantically. I didn't know what to say. I had to
apologize and tell her something that would make her understand that I didn't
mean whatever she thought I meant. But I couldn't think of anything.

She'd found her clothes and now she was getting dressed. I could hardly see
her, she was just a dark shape pulling on her panties, her pants, her top. I
could hear the waves on the beach, but there was another sound, and suddenly I
realized that Lauren was crying.

I panicked and said: "Lauren, wait—"

"Fuck you," she sobbed. "Fucking dyke."

"Lauren—"

I reached for her arm. She twisted it away and screamed:

"Get away from me!"

I shrank back against the cold rocks, watching as she spun around and ran back
down the beach. For a while I couldn't even move. I just sat there, naked,
shivering, rejected. My heart felt heavier than the rocks I was sitting on, and
after a while I stood up and gathered my clothes. I got dressed and looked up
at the cliff-face. There was a tiny shape up there, a black silhouette like a
bat.

It was probably Alice.

—

All in all, it wasn't exactly perfect, but I had my hopes. Lauren had been
frightened, obviously, but that was perfectly understandable. It was too much,
too fast, and it was perfectly rational that she'd freak out a little. Lauren
wasn't a vampire like Alice or a slut like me. She was regular a girl, and she
was in severe denial. She needed time. I just had to be patient, that's all.
Tonight was actually a good thing. The first barrier was down. Now it was only
a matter of talking it out and explaining to her that it's perfectly okay to
eat pussy and even better to eat mine.

Those were my assumptions, anyway. I had a long time to think about it as I
walked back to the party. I'd lost one of my hair ties and I'd pulled the other
one out. Now my hair hung in tangled clumps. One of my stockings had got torn,
too. I didn't even want to think about what my makeup looked like. I looked
like a whore after a hard day, and I was grouchy like one, too.

My tattered reappearance at the party raised a few eyebrows, but I ignored them
and went straight to Leah. I hadn't seen Lauren, but I didn't think she'd be
eager to give me a ride home. She needed space anyway, and I had no idea what
to say yet. In all honesty, I was very depressed. Which was natural enough
since lesbians are, after all, prone to depression. I wasn't depressed enough
to run into the ocean and drown myself, or climb the cliffs and jump off, but I
wasn't exactly in the mood to soothe Lauren's homophobia. It was important to
be understanding in a relationship, of course, but at the moment I found it a
little difficult to be sympathetic to Lauren's irrational and unfair disgust of
my personal sexual preferences. So I didn't even bother looking for her. I
tapped Leah's arm like a lost child and asked if I could get a ride home. She
took one look at my hair, my clothes, my eyes, and nodded.

We couldn't talk on the bike, but I gave her a quick recap of this latest
Lauren related drama after she dropped me off outside my house. She listened
and admitted that she didn't quite know what to make of it. Such vehement
denial could imply that subconsciously she knows she's gay and there's nothing
she can do about it. But at the same time it was possible that she was simply
deeply confused. The only way to find out would be to talk to her.

She was probably right. I considered offering her oral to say thanks for the
ride, but I figured I might as well get some practice at being loyal to Lauren.
I was relatively certain that we'd hook up eventually; she came too hard to be
confused. Her boyfriend obviously didn't do it for her like I did.

Mom had stayed up waiting for me. It was almost eleven and she was watching TV
when I came in.

"Hi, mom," I said, cheerfully enough.

"Hi, sweetie," she said, turning around, "did you have—"

But that's when she noticed my tangled hair, runny make up, torn stocking.
Alarm flashed over her face and she rushed forward. She probably thought I'd
been mugged.

"Bella, sweetie, what happened?"

I waved her away casually. "Nothing," I said. "I went swimming, that's all."

"Swimming?"

"Well, it is a beach."

Mom frowned disapprovingly. "Bella, do you have any idea how cold it is
outside?" she demanded. "I thought you said you were going to be responsible?"

I thought about that word responsible, and I just had to smile. Alcohol, sex,
and skinny dipping in the frigid deeps of La Push. Maybe I should stop blaming
the vampires for all my personality flaws. Maybe I'm a bad person all on my
own. Even with a human I couldn't seem to manage mature behavior.

In any case, I wasn't going to admit any of that to mom, no matter how many
times I'd promised to be honest. So I soothed her as best I could, and after
assuring her that no, I wasn't dying from hypothermia, and no, I didn't need an
ambulance, I went upstairs, took a shower, and went to bed.

I woke up Saturday morning with a headache and I was very thirsty. The headache
was gone by lunchtime and it wasn't until after dinner when I realized that I'd
been hung over. It didn't seem like such a big deal and I wondered why they
always described it as the apocalypse in novels. Maybe I hadn't been drunk
enough. In any case, my memory was fine, and I remembered every detail of what
happened with Lauren. I was distracted and depressed all day. My brand new
stockings were ruined and my prospective girlfriend had fucked me and left me
laying there. It was kind of harsh, really. Good thing I was too shallow to
really be hurt by it. In fact, maybe it was a good thing. It'll give her
something to apologize about. The apology would segue into a tender emotional
moment, and then, of course, we could have sex again. And this time she'd
actually allow herself to like it.

It's a shame I didn't have her phone number, but I figured she needed some
space. I spent a lot of time wondering why she was so messed up about all this,
but I just couldn't figure it out. I'd never had any denial. Lesbian attraction
had always seemed natural to me, even sensible. I mean, look at the
alternative. Boys? Please. I try not to be judgmental of other people's
preferences, but really.

Lauren obviously didn't like boys. She didn't even have a boyfriend anymore.
She'd broken up with him that night and come directly to me. She wanted me, I
knew she did. I remembered all the times our eyes had met, and all the times I
caught her checking me out. I remembered how urgently she kissed me and how
insistent her hands had been. Maybe it wasn't really denial at all. Maybe she'd
simply been startled at how much she liked it. I'd gone through something
similar my first time with Alice. It had been so intense, so perfect, that it
was almost scary. It had been like that with Lauren, too, but with Lauren I'd
been prepared. Lauren hadn't been prepared, though, and maybe she'd been so
surprised by how right it felt, that maybe it felt a little wrong, too. It made
sense. In a way.

In any case, there was nothing I could do till Monday. The important thing was
to be sympathetic and understanding. Obviously it had been a big deal for her,
and it was going to take some time before she was comfortable. I've never been
particularly patient in sexual matters, but even if she wanted to stay in the
closet for a while, I was sure that I could give her the time she needed.

And so, I woke on Monday morning with hope in my heart and butterflies in my
stomach. I was nervous about seeing Lauren, but I was confident everything
would be okay. I had the whole scene planned in my head. Lauren would be shy
and demurring, a little prickly perhaps, pretending that nothing happened
maybe. But she'd see that I wasn't angry with her and that I wasn't hurt, and
that I still liked her, and that I wanted her to know that she could talk to
me. And she would. Hesitatingly at first, but slowly she'd be more and more
natural. She'd explain that she'd never been attracted to a girl before and she
didn't really know how to handle it, and I'd assure her that I understood
completely and that I'd give her as much time and tenderness as she needed, and
no matter how long it took, I'd wait at her side with respectful eagerness as
she opened for me slowly like a flower.

It could've been perfect. Reality, however, isn't so kind, and I had a bad
feeling from the first second I saw her. I'd gotten to school early and I was
waiting in the corridor outside homeroom. Lauren was coming down the hall with
Angela, and her expression wasn't coy or bashful like I hoped. She glared at me
as if I'd raped her, but I tried not to lose hope. I smiled at her, and when
she was close enough I said:

"Hey."

It was only one word, but I guess it was the wrong thing to say. She shoved me
back against the wall and glared at me disgustedly. "Get the fuck away from
me," she hissed. "Fucking dyke."

Then she continued past me and into homeroom, leaving Angela to gawk in
surprise for a second before hurrying to catch up.

Well. I didn't think violence was called for, but I retained a glimmer of hope.
Lauren had always been an explosive personality. Maybe the outburst didn't
really mean anything and she was only waiting until were alone.

It seemed like a sound theory, but it fell apart by lunch time when I saw that
Lauren was sitting with her boyfriend. Apparently they gotten back together,
because as soon as Lauren saw me, she started making out with him, right there
at the table. It was a pretty clear statement, to shove your tongue down a
guy's throat like that. She had decided she was straight and as I watched I
felt a dull rage build in my heart. Not only was she rejecting me, she was
rejecting my orientation as well. And this was the girl I'd been crushing on
for half my life? I mean, what the fuck? I'd seen a similar scene in a movie
once. The movie had been bad; it was worse in real-life.

I stood there with my lunch tray in my hands, staring, trying not to cry. Then
I turned away and as I turned I saw that the vampires were watching me. Jane,
Leah, Alice. The blonde and the redhead still weren't back yet. They'd seen
Lauren making out with her boyfriend, yet none of them were smirking. I bought
my empty tray over and sat beside Alice. She gave me a smile, but she didn't
say anything.

"Hey," Jane said, her voice almost sympathetic. "Tough break about Lauren. What
a slut, huh?"

"It looks bad," Leah said, "but maybe you shouldn't give up just yet. She's
probably just testing you. All you gotta do is get her alone somewhere and talk
it out, trust me."

But I didn't care about Lauren anymore. "Fuck her," I muttered. "She's a bitch,
anyway."

They fell silent. I sat there staring down at my empty lunch tray and after a
while I felt someone take my hand under the table. It was Alice. I looked at
her and she smiled. I smiled back, tears in my eyes. I was so hurt and her
touch felt so nice. In that moment, I couldn't even remember why I'd been
resisting her all this time, and suddenly I gave up.

Alice must've read my eyes, because she leaned forward and kissed me. I didn't
stop her. Her hand let go of mine and wrapped around my neck. She deepened the
kiss, letting her tongue into my mouth. Slowly all noise in the cafeteria died
away and when she broke the kiss it was still silent. Half the cafeteria was
staring at us, Lauren included. Her face was pale and as she turned away she
looked like she wanted to cry.

—

That night I was almost giddy with anticipation. Leaving the window invitingly
open, I stripped off all my clothes and practically pirouetted into bed, my
whole body tingling. I was too shallow to dwell on Lauren, and Alice was coming
tonight, Alice, my Alice, the Alice I've been lusting for for so long. I'd been
stupid for even trying to resist her.

She came at midnight, my Alice, and my heart leapt at the sight of her. She
crawled through the window, smiling, and then she turned and closed it. She was
wearing jeans that had a red loveheart on the back pocket, and I stared
shamelessly at her ass, feeling the lust course through me. She turned to me,
smiling in the glow of my bedside lamp, and started undressing. She didn't
speak and I stared at her boldly, touching myself under the covers, and when
she was naked I threw back the quilt and let her into the bed.

Where we fucked, and fucked hard. We practically ate each other's mouths and
our hands were all over our bodies, groping, squeezing, clawing at the places
we hadn't touched in so long. The covers fell away and we writhed together
naked on the damp sheets, moaning, grunting, and finally she mounted over my
pussy and started grinding me under her pubic bone, mashing our slathered
pussies and rubbing and rubbing until we came, came together, soaked with sweat
and heaving with hair stuck to our faces. She covered my mouth to stifle my
scream and I bit into her hand so hard it drew blood. The blood tasted nice.

It took us a while to recover and then she gathered me up in her arms, the two
of us sitting in the bed and panting into each other's faces.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I said. It was the first either of us had spoken. "I'm so
sorry."

And I was. I was sorry for everything, and most of all I was sorry for denying
her this whole time. She smiled and stroked my hair. I almost died at that
familiar touch. I'd forgotten how wonderful it felt when she pet me. I sighed
dreamily and cuddled into her arms, wrapping my naked legs around her.

"It's okay, baby," she whispered. She placed a kiss on my ear. "I knew you'd
take me back."

I'd known, too. Deep in my heart. I'd known that I never really wanted anyone
else. I didn't care if Alice was bad or if Alice only wanted my blood. Alice
was Alice, and she was cute, and sexy, and I loved her too much to care about
any of that anymore. Alice was my soulmate.

My destiny.

So I smiled and let my head loll back, exposing my throat. She wants my blood?
She can have it. I was done resisting. I was exhausted and dizzy and feverish
from the intensity of the orgasm, and I was done pretending this wasn't exactly
what I wanted. She removed my collar without asking and then she kissed my neck
gently and whispered:

"May I, baby?"

I smiled and some whimsy moved me to reply in an airy voice:

"You may, my love."

And she did. Her fangs pierced into my flesh and I wrapped my arms around her,
my Alice, my soulmate, my destiny, smiling and sighing in her arms as she
sucked loving at the wound.

—

***** Chapter 17 *****
—

Chapter 17:

—

Alice woke me up with a kiss. It was dark morning and I could just barely see
her as my eyes fluttered open. At first I was confused, because it was the
first time she'd ever stayed the whole night. But then I smiled, squinting up
at her sleepily. "Hey," I whispered.

Her face was right over mine and she was stroking my hair. "Hey, baby," she
said, and then she placed another kiss on my mouth.

I let my eyes close, moaning softly at the soft touch of her lips. It felt like
years since I'd felt her kiss. She moaned too, and then her lips were gone and
she was smiling at me. She hadn't slept at all, and her face was bright and
loving. I blinked at her heavily, feeling my own lips curve into a smile.

"Sorry to wake you," she whispered. "But I wanted to see you before I go. We
never had a chance to talk last night."

A sleepy chuckle escaped me, remembering last night. What was there to talk
about, anyway? I took her back. Doesn't that say it all?

She was laying on top of me, straddling my hips, and I was finally awake enough
to put my arms around her. She hadn't put any clothes on and I ran my hands up
and down her silky back. "Do we have to talk now?"

She smiled, shaking her head. "No," she whispered. "I just wanted to hear your
voice before I left."

I gave another little chuckle. "That's sweet."

"May I pick you up for school?"

I didn't like the mention of school, but I nodded. "Okay."

She smiled and kissed me again, just softly on my lips. Then again, and again,
on my cheeks, my eyelids, my lips again. I just lay there enjoying it, giggling
once or twice, and then she kissed me once more.

"I love you, baby," she whispered.

I'd had some doubts about that recently, but at the moment I didn't care. I
loved her, and in the end, wasn't that the important thing?

So I just smiled. We had our problems, me and Alice, but she was naked and she
was laying on top of me, so I arched my neck to kiss her lips and said: "I love
you, too."

She sighed and continued stroking my hair for a little bit. I could've held her
forever, but if that was actually possible, I never would've let go of her to
begin with. The relationship would certainly be simpler if we could lay in
perpetual embrace for all eternity, but eventually she sighed again and got out
of the bed.

I rolled onto my elbow and watched her gather her clothes from the floor. I
regretted the loss of her warmth, but the view was certainly better. The room
was very dim, but her naked body was very white and very perfect. I watched her
bend and retrieve her panties, my heart fluttering. That ass. My god. I bit my
lip to keep from smirking, eyeing her brazenly as a certain area of my body
began to tingle. She giggled when she saw me watching and then she scampered
over and gave me a quick kiss. She went to turn back to her clothes, but I
grabbed her hand.

"Wait," I said. "Don't leave yet."

She smirked. It was pretty clear why I wanted her to stay a bit, but I had to
pee and I hadn't brushed my teeth, so I got out the bed and poked my head out
the door, looking up and down the hall for any sign of mom. But it was still
very early and she wasn't up yet. So I gestured for quiet with a finger to my
lips, and then we tiptoed down the hall and into the bathroom, closing the door
softly behind us.

There was no better start to the day than shower-sex with the girl of your
dreams, and afterwards I stashed Alice in my room while I pretended to get
ready for school. I'd already decided that I'd be skipping, but I figured it
was best to do it off the books. I could probably bluff mom into giving me the
day off since I did look a little pale after last night, but I didn't want to
lie or risk her saying no. Me and Alice had a lot of catching up to do. It was
funny. The whole reason I'd avoided taking Alice back was because of the
negative influence she had on my life. We'd only been back together a matter of
hours and already I'd smuggled her into the shower and now I was planning to
skip school so I could stay home and fuck her all day. But I was done blaming
Alice. It was me that wanted her, needed her, craved her. My stomach was
positively rolling with eagerness and I could barely even get my cereal down.
The idea of sitting through class when I could be at home making up with my
girlfriend all day was absurd, so I waited anxiously for mom to go to work, and
when she was gone I practically dashed upstairs.

We made love and made love and then made love again. Between orgasms we'd lay
in each other's arms and fondle each other idly, reacquainting ourselves with
each other's bodies. We didn't talk much and when we did talk we'd mostly just
tell each other how much we loved each other. There was plenty more we needed
to talk about, but it was enough for now to simply lay with her in my arms. I'd
forgotten how wonderful it felt.

It was about three o'clock when we stopped for lunch. I wasn't particularly
hungry, but my re-devoted girlfriend was excited about making me something, and
it sounded nice to me, too. Besides, I was pretty exhausted and I could used a
break. So we threw on clothes and went into the kitchen. Alice asked me what I
wanted, and at first I suggested a salad or sandwich—something easy—but she was
determined to put some effort into it, so I figured pancakes would be nice.
True, it was afternoon, but we'd only just gotten out of bed, so why not?

Alice wouldn't let me help, she only let me give directions as she bustled
about the kitchen, mixing the batter, pouring it into the pan. She didn't need
as much clothes as me, and she was dressed incredibly provocative—t-shirt and
panties. That's it. The panties were pink and I stared at her ass as she stood
at the stove, sighing and marveling at how amazing it was. Sure, she was an
obsessive demoness who was steadily leading me astray into a life of darkness
and depravity—but that ass! Such cuteness could not possibly be evil.

She flipped the pancakes and shifted her hips slightly. I was leaning with my
elbow on the tabletop and my face against my palm, staring at her ass as if I
was crushing on it. God, those panties fit so snuggly. If I could die and be
reborn as anything it would be a pair of Alice's panties. She glanced over her
shoulder, smiling. "Are you staring at my ass?" she asked innocently.

"Mmm," I said, smiling. I didn't stop looking and my voice came out in a
sleepy, contented, well-fucked purr. "It's beautiful."

She giggled and bought over the plate of pancakes, setting down a bottle of
syrup and a glass of milk beside it. She'd topped the pancakes with whipped
cream and she'd carved a couple strawberries into lovehearts. She was standing
by with a proud little smile, as if waiting for me to pat her head and call her
a good girl. But I didn't want to demean her, so I just let my face melt into a
grateful smile and said: "Thanks."

She bobbed her head happily and sat down. She'd sat opposite me, but it only
took her a moment to realize that it was quite a gap between us, so she got up,
moved her chair directly beside mine, and sat again. She was so close our knees
touched and as I ate she wrapped her arms around my middle and leaned her head
on my shoulder. It made eating a little awkward, but I didn't have the heart to
complain.

"Is it good?" she asked.

"Mmm," I said. "It's great. But you know what's weird? I'm not even that
hungry."

"No?"

Actually, I hadn't been hungry at all lately, and even though I hadn't been
eating, I hadn't lost any weight, either. I'd even gained some, and not bad
weight. Sexy weight. Roundness, fullness, that kind of thing. I hadn't really
thought about it, but I figured it might have something to do with vampire
venom. I didn't know much about this whole turning process, but the only other
explanation was that I'd gotten implants over the weekend and didn't remember.

"Actually, I've been noticing a lot of weird stuff lately," I mentioned. "Like
how I've been gaining weight a little. Even though I haven't been eating much.
And I've been having trouble sleeping." And as I said it, something else
occurred to me, something that happened last night. I'd been too distracted by
the blinding bliss of being reunited with Alice to worry about it too much, but
I figured I might as well mention it now. "And last night," I said, "when I bit
your hand… I tasted your blood and…"

She gave a little giggle. "You liked it?"

"Yeah," I nodded, glad she knew what I was talking about.

She let go of her embrace and looked at me for a second. I turned to her,
pancakes forgotten for a moment, and she tucked some of my hair behind my ear
and examined my face. Her fingers brushed my cheek and she looked into my eyes.
"I think maybe…" she said, "you might be beginning to turn."

"Turn?"

"This is how it happens. As your body absorbs vampire venom you'll begin to
take on more and more vampire traits, until…"

"I become one?"

Alice nodded. She was still looking into my face, but now she seemed to be
watching for a reaction. But to be honest, I didn't know what to feel about
that. Something cold passed over me, but it was probably excitement or
anticipation. I knew that being a vampire was bad, and that the blood lust
messes with your head and makes you do bad things, but none of that seemed to
matter anymore. Alice and I were together again; it had to happen eventually.

But I had no idea it was already happening. How come she'd never mentioned this
before? In fact, she had, hadn't she? But she never said it would happen like
this. "I thought you said I wouldn't turn from a bite?" I asked.

She gave a sheepish shrug. "Well, I didn't want to scare you off," she
admitted. "And technically, it's not one bite, it's many bites. The changes
wouldn't even be noticeable by now if you hadn't spent so much time with Jane
and Leah. They really like you, don't they?"

I was a little disenchanted that she'd lied to me about such an important
aspect of our relationship, but she deflected it well. Jane and Leah did like
me, and I had to admit I was proud of that. I'd only earned their affection
through my willingness to put out, of course, but who says sluttyness isn't a
virtue?

So I smiled and gave a little shrug. "Yeah," I said. "I guess they do."

Alice smiled back and wrapped her arms around me possessively. "But they'll
never like you as much as I do," she whispered.

There probably wasn't a girlfriend in the world who could match the psychotic
affection of my little Alice, so I smirked and said: "Probably not."

She moved her lips closer to mine. "I love you, Bella."

My stomach stirred at the prospect of a kiss. It made me even more hungry than
the pancakes. "I love you, too," I whispered, and closed my eyes as her lips
pressed against mine.

The kiss turned a little deep and then she broke it. We smiled at each other
for a little bit, almost tranced, and then she giggled and gestured at the
plate. "Eat, eat, eat," she said. "Don't let it get cold."

I could think of something I rather eat, something sweeter and more syrupy than
any pancake, but it was a beautiful lunch, and I didn't want to waste it, so I
started eating again. Alice seemed content to watch me, but as the bliss of her
kiss began to fade, my mind returned to the topic of turning.

"How long is it going to take?" I asked.

She didn't seem to know what I was talking about. "Hm?"

"Before I turn," I said. "How long before I turn?"

Alice still had her arms around my middle and I felt her shrug slightly. "It
depends," she said. "It takes quite a bit of venom."

I got the feeling she was deliberately being a little vague, but I wasn't as
shy and quietly inferior as I used to be, so I decided to probe. "How much
venom?"

She shrugged again. "It's hard to say," she said, a little reluctantly. "The
venom's kind of like a drug. It's part of what draws the victim, keeps them
coming back. Which is why we rarely feed from the same person for any length of
time. You'll become a vampire when you OD, basically. When there's too much
venom in your system for your body to cope."

"So the venom's addictive?"

She nodded, her head still leaning on my shoulder. "The blood is addictive to
us," she said. "The venom is addictive to you. You can even taste it on my
kiss. And on my pussy."

She said the last part simply, as if it was just a fact. But it was much more
than a fact to me. Suddenly I understood a lot of things. I knew now, for
instance, why they'd all been so reluctant to explain the logistics of vampire
venom. If my charming girlfriend had told me when we first met that her crack
was addictive as crack, I might've been forced to admit that I didn't do drugs,
even ones as pretty as her. Now, however, I found this terribly hot, even
though I certainly shouldn't have.

So I blushed and swallowed whatever was in my mouth. The pancakes were
terrific, but suddenly they tasted as bland and inedible as wet newspaper. I
looked at Alice's pretty face, thinking she really IS addictive, like literally
addictive. She was watching for my reaction and eventually I remembered how to
speak.

"You're addictive?" I asked.

She gave a nod. "So are you," she said. She smiled, almost shyly. "After all,
it's not just your blood. It's your scent. You're pheromones. You're arousal."
She gave a tiny giggle. "It's a dark little cycle, isn't it?"

I look down at my pancakes, thinking. "I thought so," I said. "When I was with
Leah and Jane, it was like I needed it. And when you left for Paris, all I
could think about was being bitten again. By anyone." I lifted my eyes to hers.
"But it was never like when you bit me."

She smiled happily. "That's because you were addicted to me first."

"So it's not really love, after all."

Slowly her smile faded. "Attraction is attraction, Bella," she said. "Why do
you have to cheapen it like that?"

I didn't answer. My stomach was flipping and I had no idea how I was supposed
to feel about all this. I was turning into a vampire and my girlfriend has been
slowly stealing my free-will with addictive venom and pussy juice. On the plus
side, my boobs were bigger and she tasted real nice. On the minus, I was kind
of selling my soul for real. If I continued seeing my vampiric girlfriend
eventually I was going to become a slutty blood fiend just like her. No life,
no career, no family; just blood lust. But if my ultimate damnation included
frequent sex with the hottest girl I've ever witnessed, was it really so
tragic?

Alice frowned at my unresponsiveness. "I'm serious, Bella," she said. "You keep
saying it's only your blood that I like, and I'll admit it; your blood is what
I love best about you. But why is that so terrible? I know there's more to you
than blood, but your blood is part of you. It's your life, your vitality, your
vibrancy. I mean, isn't it romantic that I'm so crazy about it? It's like I'm
in love with your essence itself, don't you think?"

It sounded nice, in theory, but I guess I wasn't shallow enough to believe it.
Any attraction rooted in blood and infectious vampire venom probably wasn't so
wholesome. But my dark darling had always had a slightly warped sense of
romance, and I figured I'd indulge her. I didn't want to argue, and I knew that
I'd been attracted to her before all this. Before sex, before being bitten. I
loved her from the second I saw her. So I smiled and gave her a little shrug.
"I guess," I said.

It seemed to satisfy her. She kissed my shoulder and wrapped her arms around me
again. I resumed eating.

"But anyway," she said, "becoming a vampire is your decision. You'll have to do
it eventually if you want to be with me, but how and when and where—all that's
up to you. We can talk about it more later. In fact, there's probably enough
venom in your system now that I could turn you over the weekend if you wanted
me to."

That actually sounded appealing. Get it over with, get it done with. Why delay
eternity? It would be one less thing to worry about, at least. So I said:
"Maybe we should."

But she chuckled, shaking her head against my shoulder. "Well, I don't think
you're quite ready just yet," she said. "It could be dangerous to force it too
soon. The more venom you absorb, the safer the transition. Besides, when we do
it we should do it special."

That made sense, I guess, but I felt a small wave of bitterness, and before I
could stop myself I said: "And I suppose it would suck if you couldn't feed
from me anymore, right?"

"That's not true," she insisted. "And FYI, vampires can feed from other
vampires."

"They can?"

She noticed the hope in my voice and went on cheerfully. "Of course," she said.
"We bleed like anything else. Our teeth are our main weapons against other
vampires. But not always. Sometimes it can be a special thing between mates. We
could bite each other at the same time like a special kiss, or we could even
organize our relationship around it."

I shrugged away from her embrace so I could look at her. Suddenly I found
myself very interested. I'd never given much thought to how we'd function as a
vampire couple. Feeding would obviously be a big deal, but I never wondered how
that would work.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She gave a casual shrug, but a hint of self-consciousness had crept into her
expression, as if she'd been waiting to talk about this for a long time and
wasn't exactly sure how to go on. "Well, there's lots of ways," she said. "For
instance, you could be the hunter, and I could be your…well, slave." A weird
blush lit her face as she said that. But she went on, completely casual. "You
could feed from humans and I'd only feed from you. You'd have to feed extra, to
keep your blood up, but I'd be exclusively yours. You'd be, like…my mistress."

She didn't look at me as she said it. Her words had excited me in a way I
didn't even understand, but for the moment I was stuck on the possibility of
Alice feeding from me even as a vampire. If that was true, then maybe our
relationship really could survive for all eternity. I'd been afraid that she'd
get sick of me once she couldn't feed from me, but if—

"Maybe I should've had some pancakes," she said suddenly. She touched her
finger to the pool of syrup on the plate and put the finger in her mouth.
"Sometimes it's good to have a little food."

"But would that work?" I asked, ignoring the subject change. "I mean, would you
really be able to feed from me even if…"

"Mmhm," she nodded. "In fact," she went on, "that's how Esme and Carlisle are
kind of organized. Esme's still very young so she's kind of shy about feeding.
She only feeds from Carlisle, unless she meets a girl she really likes. Leah
and Jane are kind of like that, too, in a way. Leah doesn't feed from human's
very often, and when she does she usually double teams them with Jane. But
mostly she only feeds from Jane. Or me, back before I met you. Back then, I
used to be the huntress of the family. Especially in bigger cities. I'd have
about four or five girlfriends at a time, and every night I'd go home and let
one of my sisters feed from me. Vicky and Rose always had priority, of course,
but I loved all my sisters enough to let them feed from me."

It was a lot of information all at once, and before I could process any of it,
she took my hand and smiled at me warmly.

"Until I met you," she said. "I still love my sisters, but after I met you…"
She paused, gazing into my face. "I knew there was only one woman I was
supposed to be with."

I smiled, completely touched. Warmth spread through my body and it occurred to
me that maybe I'd been unfair about Alice this last month. She wasn't the most
stable girlfriend in the world, but she tried really hard, she really did. She
always had. It was wrong to criticize why she liked me, because in the end, the
important thing was that she did like me. She loved me. In her own unique
crazy-stalker kind of way. It was sweet really.

So I leaned forward and kissed her. It was a quick impulse and it made my heart
leap. The sensation was so unique that I was suddenly reminded of how little I
ever initiated contact between us. Alice had tried hard every day since the day
we met to make me feel as loved as possible; maybe it was time for me to make
her feel something similar. I wouldn't start stalking her, but at least I could
try kissing her every now and then.

"Mmm," she moaned into the kiss. "I love you, Bella."

I smiled. "I love you, too."

This time it was her who kissed me. A quick one on the lips, then another. Then
she giggled and gestured at the plate suddenly. "Eat, eat," she commanded.
"Maybe you're not hungry, but it can't hurt to keep your strength up."

I smiled and started eating again. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"How do you feed in secret? Without the person knowing?"

I'd always wondered about that. There was nothing secret in how they fed from
me; they were quite blatant. Not that I was complaining, of course. There were
few things I enjoyed more these days. But maybe that was the venom.

Alice shrugged. "It depends."

"On what?" I prodded.

She shrugged again. "Who, when, how, where," she said. "Methods change over the
years. If you want, I could take you along on a hunt sometime. After all, if
you're going to be a vampire someday, you'll have to learn how it's done."

I nodded. In any case, I wasn't ready just yet. I didn't relish the thought of
Alice feeding from any girl but me, but if it was just a meal, just a hunt, I
guess I'd have to be understanding of that—especially if I'd have to do it too
someday.

But was that what I really wanted? Did I actually want to be a vampire? For the
past couple weeks I wasn't sure, but everything was suddenly so much clearer
now that I was with Alice again. Yes; I wanted to be a vampire. I didn't care
what that meant giving up. I wanted to be just like Alice. Like Leah and Jane,
even like Victoria. I wanted to be a sexy, smirky, demoness.

The thought actually made me smile. It felt like a relief to have it settled in
my mind. I'd spent over a week resisting the idea and now, after a couple
seconds contemplation over pancakes, my mind was suddenly made up; I wanted to
be a vampire. It was such an exciting thought that I stopped eating and turned
to Alice.

"But even if I became a vampire," I said, "would I have to feed from people? I
mean, couldn't I just get blood bags from the hospital or something?"

"It doesn't really work like that."

"Why not?"

"Well, like I said, it's not only about the blood. It's about scent, warmth,
closeness. Desire. It's mostly about the person you're with. It works like sex,
kind of. I mean, if you had a choice between a vibrator, Angela, and Lauren,
which one would you do?"

I didn't answer, but I got her point; the more you liked a person the more you
wanted them. But anyway, I wasn't sure if I'd do Lauren again, even if she
wanted it. Yesterday's betrayal had been way worse than anything Alice had ever
done to me. Sure, Alice had devoured her ex right in front of me, but in all
fairness that was one sexy and manipulative ex. Lauren's ex was just a
quarterback.

"The thirst works the same way," Alice went on. "That's why we call it blood
lust. It's possible to feed from someone you don't like, but it's always better
if you like them. Even if it's just as a friend."

"But isn't that kind of like cheating?"

She gave a little shrug. It didn't seem to be a topic she liked thinking about.
"I don't know," she said. "I suppose it does involve putting your lips on
another person. But in the end, it's a matter of survival. With you it's always
been special, but with any one else…"

She trailed off and maybe I should've let it go, but I was curious. Alice had
never been very forthcoming about her feeding habits, aside from me, but I had
a right to know, didn't I?

"Do you feed from people other than me?"

She looked at me and sighed. "Sometimes I had to, but never from humans. Only
from Jane. Me and Jane are very close. In Paris, I fed from Vicky. I couldn't
bring myself to feed from any other human but you. I tried, but…"

I nodded. Alice smiled suddenly and kissed me.

"You're the only girl I'll ever want," she said. "I love you, baby."

I kissed her back. "I love you too, Alice."

"Good," she giggled. "Now hurry up and eat. I'm hungry too, you know."

I smirked and leaned forward, capturing her lips once more. The pancakes were
nice, but not as nice as her. I kissed her slowly, caressing the nape of her
neck, and I noticed that my head was tingling. I always thought it was because
I loved her so much, but maybe it was the venom, too. It certainly felt
addicting, and I couldn't help moaning and leaning into her a little more.
Finally I broke the kiss and smiled at her.

"I think I'm done," I said, referring to the pancakes. Then I took her hand and
stood up. "Come on."

She giggled and hopped up, eager as a bunny. Struck by a sudden assertiveness,
I pulled her into another kiss and cupped her butt. She moaned happily, leaning
into me, and I pulled back quickly. "Bring the syrup," I purred, and she
quickly grabbed the bottle as I tugged her gently toward the stairs.

The funny thing about syrup is how much sweeter it tastes when licked off your
girlfriend's boobs. Especially when the boobs in question are as plump and
perfect as Alice's. It did leave us a little sticky, however, and we had to
finish up a little early so I could shower before mom got home. I had syrup on
my chest, my stomach, my thighs, and in my hair somehow, so it was quite a long
shower. Alice joined me, of course, but the extra pair of hands didn't exactly
speed things up. They were too busy groping me into yet another orgasm.

I was reluctant to say goodbye, but we both knew that she couldn't be here when
mom got home. We talked about it briefly and decided that I'd have to tell her
we back together eventually, but considering how she reacted the last time, it
was probably best to wait for the right moment. Neither of us wanted to risk me
getting grounded again, not when there were so many dates out there we'd hadn't
been on yet.

So we parted, reluctantly and not with a some gratuitous making out. It was
almost painful to be without her so suddenly, but the pain was dampened
slightly when I walked into the kitchen and saw the mess she'd left behind from
her whim to make me pancakes. I cleaned it all up before mom got home, and I
found it oddly reassuring that she actually had human flaws, too. Most of her
personality quirks where the result of her nature as a vampire—stalking, for
instance. But to leave a mess for your girlfriend to clean up was decidedly
more human, and it made me feel a little better about my own role in the
relationship. After all, if she wasn't quite so perfect then I wasn't quite so
inferior, was I?

It was a long wait till I saw her again—like, hours—but eventually I got into
bed and lay there watching the half-open window. We arranged for her to come at
eleven o'clock, and while I waited I thought about everything we'd talked about
over lunch. One thing my mind kept returning to was how she had explained that
vampires could feed from other vampires. It made sense, really. I remembered
that night at the Cullen house, when Alice had confronted Victoria. Alice had
slashed the redhead's face with her fingernails and then licked the blood, like
an animal with a cub. I wondered what it would be like with me and Alice. I
guess deep down I was prepared to accommodate her any way she wanted, but to be
honest, the thought of feeding from other girl's didn't really appeal to me,
even with my budding vampiric tendencies. Maybe that would change, but for now,
I felt like if I had to feed from anyone, I'd want to feed from Alice. The
thought made me smile. I could picture myself sitting in bed, Alice in my lap.
Both of us naked, just after sex. She'd tilt her head and offer me her slender
neck. And then I'd lean and place my lips on her throat, kissing her gently
first so she'd know I loved her, and then I'd grab her ass and just bite the
sexy bitch. Yeah. That would be hot.

But the fantasy was interrupted when Alice finally arrived. She came through
the window and I had a sudden wave of déjà vu.

She was wearing a long black coat.

It was just like my dreams, the ones I had before I met her. Back then it was
the same recurring dream, but since then my dreams have been more eclectic.
None of them had the same intensity of premonition as those early dreams, but I
still dreamt about her almost every night. Alice. The girl of my dreams.

But more important than dreams at the moment was the reality that Alice had
just crawled through my bedroom window wearing a long black coat. And I had a
suspicion, just a hunch, that she was wearing nothing—or close to
it—underneath.

"Hey, baby," she said sultrily, undoing the coat-belt. She was wearing makeup
and she looked exquisite. "I've got a surprise for you."

I literally held my breath, my face frozen in excitement. Smiling, she opened
the coat and slipped it off. She wasn't naked, but it was even better. She was
wearing crotchless black lace panties, a black lace pushup bra, black
stockings, and a black garter belt. The black lace was beautiful against her
marble skin and on her feet were black patent leather pumps. She stepped
forward, rolling her hips. I flung off the covers and swung my legs over the
side as if I was about to stand up, but I didn't stand up. I just sat on the
edge of the bed and stared.

"Does baby like?" she asked coyly.

"Baby likes," I murmured, raking my eyes over her body. Her crotchless panties
were right there, right in front of me, and if I just slipped to the floor and
knelt down at her feet—

She stroked her hand across my hair, drawing my eyes up. She smiled with her
ruby lips. "Does baby want me to eat her pussy?"

I shook my head, smirking up at her. "Baby wants to eat your pussy."

She giggled and sank slowly to her knees. "Well, baby will have to wait," she
said, opening my legs. "Because I get to go first."

And then she tugged off my shorts and started going down on me. I wove my hand
in her feathery black hair and leaned back, letting the arousal spike through
me as I felt her lips on my pussy. I was so eager I didn't even require
foreplay. Her lips and lingerie had put me in an extremely agreeable mood, and
I became moist for her very quickly, hissing my breath under each lick and
trying not to moan too loud.

Finally I got her into bed where she let me enjoy her for as long as I wanted.
I kissed her everywhere, peeling away her bracups and taking her nipples
between my lips, stroking her sides. I kissed her mouth, mustering all the
technique I could to make her as wet as possible. Her quiet little whimpers
were like music to my ears and soon she was biting down on her hand to keep
from crying out as I spread her pussy and licked her into orgasm.

Alice's teeth had drawn blood on her hand and as we cuddled up afterwards I
took her hand and kissed it better. Her blood, even just those couple drops,
left an odd sugary taste on my tongue. It didn't quite seem drinkable, but it
certainly didn't taste repulsive. Then I guided her mouth to my neck and told
her to bite me. Last night had left me very drained, but she didn't need so
much this time, and I wanted her to do it. Needed it. I felt her fangs pierce
my neck and as she sucked on the wound I felt like I could feel the venom
course through the bloodstream as my heart pumped it all through my hot and
tingling body.

It was late by now. I was tired, but I couldn't really sleep, so we cuddled and
talked. We whispered about how much we loved each other and this love soon
prompted us to decide that we should skip school tomorrow too so would could
fuck all day again. The talk turned a little flirty after this, and somehow or
other we got sidetracked to the subject of sex toys and whether or not we'd
enjoy using them on each other. Alice was a little tentative at first, but I
was open-minded, and soon she was comfortable enough to express a desire to
fuck my brains out with a strap-on. I admitted this sounded intriguing,
although I couldn't help raising a few concerns about whether it might hurt.
But she waved this away with a giggle and a kiss. She told me that she'd had a
lot of practice and even if she fucked me in half by accident I'd probably only
beg for more.

Needless to say, I woke up the next morning in a state of nervous excitement.
Alice was in the bed with me, but she'd been home and back in the night, and
bought with her a familiar shoe box decorated with red markerpen. I went to
lift the lid, but she slapped my hand playfully and wouldn't let me look inside
until we were ready. I'd already seen inside when I went snooping through her
room two months ago, but I didn't spoil her surprise. She seemed quite eager to
start sticking things inside me, and it was hard not to share the mood. The
hard part was waiting for mom to go to work.

So I went down to have breakfast, or tried to. I couldn't eat more than a few
spoonfuls, but maybe that was normal for a girl who was hours away from her
first experience with penetration. It seemed like a big deal. Technically, I'd
been de-virgined quite a while ago, but I'd never had anything bigger in me
than Jane's fingers—and Jane was quite petit. A strap-on seemed a little more
intimidating. I wasn't sure how I felt about it in principle—the phallic
symbolism was fairly indisputable—but I trusted Alice, and I knew Alice would
make sure I liked it.

Mom was almost late for work, distracted my paleness and generally lethargy,
but eventually she left. I probably could've gotten the day off, but if she
called the school they might've mention I wasn't there yesterday, either. For
now I was content to not even think about it. I hoped she wouldn't find out,
but even if she did, I felt strangely resigned. I hadn't changed my mind that
Alice was bad for me; I just didn't care anymore.

So I went upstairs, and Alice and I sat cross-legged on the bed with the toy
box between us. She lifted the lid excitedly and I looked inside, trying not to
wince. It was as bad as I remembered it; vibrators, strap-ons, dildos, double
dildos, all colorful and clustered in the box like a nest of kinky snakes.
Alice giggled and tipped the box upside down, scattering the toys between us.

"So," she said, spreading them with her hand. "What do you want to try first?"

"Um," I swallowed. "I thought you wanted to use a strap-on?"

It was laying there, I could see it. A pink cylinder attached to pink leather
belts that presumably looped around the wielder's legs. I tried not to be
afraid of it; it was pink, after all.

"We'll get to the strap-on eventually," Alice said, brushing it aside, "but why
don't we start slow?" She plucked up a different object. It was black, slender,
and it didn't bend. "Let's start with a vibrator," she said. "It's one of the
great inventions of modern times, the vibrator. Very versatile. It can be used
on yourself or on your partner, and even if you're not into penetration so
much, it still has its uses."

I was puzzled. "Like what?"

Alice grinned. "Like this," she said, and then she switched the vibrator on and
touched the tip to my nipple. I froze, mouth open, as my breast started
quivering. I was wearing a t-shirt, but that was a flimsy layer. Frankly, I was
stunned by how nice and unique it felt. Alice smiled at my expression. "Like a
magic wand, hm?"

I gave a little chuckle. "Yeah."

"So what do you think?"

I shrugged excitedly. "Okay."

She giggled, switched it off, and handed it over. "Here," she said. "Black,
your favorite color. I bought it for you back when we first started dating and
I've been waiting for the right moment to give it to you. It'll be the first
piece of your collection."

I smiled and looked at the object with a certain fondness. My first sex toy. It
was the sweetest thing anybody had ever given me. My pussy began to feel very
grateful.

"Thanks," I said.

Alice leaned and kissed me. "You're welcome," she said, then she smiled and
clapped her hands. "Now," she said. "Since it's brand new, I think you should
have it first, just to establish ownership. It's a close bond between a woman
and her vibrator. It's like a teddy bear for grown-ups. You could even give her
a name if you wanted."

I smirked, holding it in both hands awkwardly. "A name?"

"Sure."

I looked down at it. "I don't know."

"How about Alice?"

I chuckled. "Alice?"

She nodded eagerly. "Sure," she said. "That way it'll be like you're always
with me, even when it's just yourself. And I won't have to be jealous when you
use her, either. Vibrator envy can be a big deal with some couples."

It seemed a little silly to name a vibrator, but I liked the idea of
establishing it as female. A stiff and somewhat slender female, but female
nonetheless. And if it pleased Alice, it made me happy too. So I grinned and
gave a little shrug. "Okay," I said. "I'll call it Alice."

She giggled and swept the rest of the toys off the bed with her hand
carelessly. The toys rained to the floor, and then she composed herself with
her hands in her lap and smiled at me. I held the toy in my hand, waiting for
instructions.

"So," she said. "Did you want to do it yourself, or may I?"

—

I was surprised by how much I liked it. But maybe that was only because Alice
was there.

She was very vocal about the whole experience, and very proud of the vibrator's
nickname. She talked to me constantly, asking me how much I liked Alice, and
did Alice feel good where Alice touched me, and do I want her to stick Alice
inside me yet. I was half-mindless from excitement at that point, so my powers
of conversation weren't exactly scintillating, but I'm pretty sure all my
answers were in the affirmative. The weird thing about when your girlfriend
touches a vibrator to your engorged clit is that it tends to make you forget
how to do anything but moan.

But eventually I got the thing inside me, and I have to admit; I damn near
died. It was tight a fit, but she slid it in slowly and held it there as I got
used to it. She was sitting behind me and I was laying back in her arms, her
legs hooked over mine and spreading them apart. It was just the tip at first,
the tip nestled just within my entrance, vibrating into my core. Then she
pushed it in a little more, and a little more, more, more, more. It felt huge
inside me even though it wasn't really that big. By then her other hand had
moved to my clit and began teasing it. I let my head roll back and suddenly her
tongue was in my mouth. My face was on fire and my chest was heaving. She began
to stir the vibrator inside me and suddenly it was too much; my vagina went
spastic over my new toy and almost crushed the poor thing in the clench of the
climax.

And that was only the beginning.

The respite was only brief and soon it was my turn to do Alice. She gave me a
few moments to get myself together, watching me lay there with my breath
sucking in and out as she sat beside me, idly licking the arousal from the
vibrator as if it were her favorite kind of icie pop. Then she patted my ass
gently and told me it was time to get back to work.

It was almost as fun to use the vibrator on her as it was to have it used on
me. It didn't end with the same soul crushing orgasm, but I found that it was
strangely erotic to stick things into your naked girlfriend and make her like
it—in fact, now I understood why guys liked doing it. Of course, I didn't stick
it in right away. I teased her a little first, tracing circles around her
nipples, bending to suck them. Then I trailed the vibrator down between her
legs, but I still didn't put it in. I let it vibrate against her soaking folds,
applying pressure and slacking off, smiling at how her face would elate with
anticipation and then crumple in disappointment. She was still very vocal, even
while on the receiving end, only this time she was begging. I liked to hear her
playful little pleas, but it only made me want to tease her more. I asked if
she could roll over a little, and she didn't question it. She even poked her
ass at me a little, as if she knew exactly what I wanted to do and she wanted
it too. It was just a whim, but it was fun. I traced the tip of the vibrator
along the soft cleft of her buttocks, starting at the top and trailing it down,
and then I poked at her with it, not penetrating, just teasing. She moaned for
my enjoyment and then she rolled onto her back, opened her legs as far as they
would go, and spread her pussy with her fingers. She asked me would I please
put that thing inside her and I decided I'd teased her enough. So I did. I
stuck it in and mimicked the things she did to me, watching her face and
stirring the vibrator inside her until she arched up in orgasm and flopped back
down again, all flushed and sweaty.

Next was the strap-on. But at least we had a tiny break. Alice had fetched me a
glass of water, and then we cuddled for a while, complimenting each other on
technique and thoroughness, mentioning the things we liked, thanking each other
with little kisses. Soon we were petting each other and contemplating what to
try next. There were a variety of options, each as appealing as the next, and
after a while she leaned over the side of the bed and fished up the strap-on.
It was the pink one, and as she put it on she showed me how it buckles and
explained how to get it tight and secure. It looked almost funny, the way it
stuck out from her crotch like that. It made me think how odd guys must look
during sex. But results were more important than presentation, so I was willing
to overlook the silliness of it. She asked me if I was ready. I nodded, eyeing
the thing somewhat skeptically. She smiled, and then, without further ado, she
proceeded to fuck me with it.

It was one of the more arduous experiences of my life. If Alice had an actual
penis that she couldn't remove and store in a shoe box, I'd have to break up
with her. Because there was no way I'd survive very long under conditions of
nightly ravaging with this thing she was using on me. Then again, if it was an
actual penis she probably would've squirted ages ago and gone to sleep, so
maybe my true enemy was the inexhaustible power of the strap-on itself. That,
and the fact that Alice was a wizard with it.

In any case, I'd already had one massive orgasm today so it was a long and not
leisurely journey to the next one. Alice started slow, with lots of kissing and
touching. I could feel the strap-on poking my tummy, and at first it felt odd
and uncomfortable. But slowly my mind began to cloud under the kiss and my
pussy took over the thinking process. Alice had begun to move her hips against
me gently, and it began to occur to me that I was getting horny and a long
shaft-like object might be just the thing to deal with that. Like that thing
poking my stomach, for instance. If I could get that thing shoved into my pussy
somehow, well. Maybe that would feel just fine. Fortunately that was exactly
Alice's intention. She was just taking a maddeningly long time to get to it.

The foreplay went on forever. First with her hands and then her mouth. She
massaged my breasts firmly and professionally, kneeling over me and kneading
them like a lesbian baker. She was quiet now, watching me with her little smile
as I lay there blushing, frustrated. Then she lowered her mouth and sucked my
nipples. If she kept this up I was going to come before she even used the
strap-on. I have sensitive tits. But she didn't dwell on them too long, which
seemed like a shame as soon as she stopped. Then she lowered her mouth to my
pussy and started licking.

At first I was puzzled—weren't we supposed to be using the strap-on? But oh
well. I loved her tongue, the way she dragged it so slowly across my sensitive
folds and flicked my clit. It was better, even. But that didn't last long,
either. Finally she knelt between my legs and nudged the strap-on at my
entrance, watching my face. I watched back, waiting for her to do it. My pussy
was in an agony of anticipation and I flinched as it finally poked into me.
Just the tip. It was so much bigger than a finger, so much huger. I whimpered
and squirmed slightly, stretching my legs wider, as if to make my opening
bigger. Alice smiled and leaned down across me, and as she did the strap-on
went in deeper. A strange little moan escaped me, something between surprise
and fright. I could feel it going into me and I'd never felt anything like it
before. My eyes were closed but I opened them as she stroked my hair. Her
pretty face was reassuring and suddenly I moved my hips a little, getting it in
just a bit deeper. She smiled, watching my face burn, and then she kissed me.

It was a slow kiss and at first she didn't move her hips at all. She just left
the strap-on inside me, letting me get comfortable with it. Which happened
pretty quick. Soon I was getting into the kiss and moving my hips, desperate
for just a bit of friction. Alice responded with a tentative thrust, and I
gasped, breaking the kiss. She watched my face and gave another little thrust.
I shuddered and groaned impatiently, squirming my hips. She smiled, a sexy
smile that was almost a smirk, and then she started moving her hips against me,
humping me gently. My head went blank. My legs wrapped around her automatically
and started clenching in rhythm, finally getting into it, stroking her slim and
silky back, feeling her soft breasts press against mine as she kissed my
throat, and then—

She stopped. Just pulled it out. At first I was flabbergasted; then I was
furious. I felt like tearing her face off for just stopping like that, but
there was a method to her madness. She let me cool down a little, sitting
beside me and stroking me, talking to me, and when she deemed I was ready to
resume, she rolled me onto my stomach, lifted my hips, and started doing me
from behind. I was a little self-conscious to have my ass just pointed at her
like that, but she made me feel good about it by petting it and talking about
how cute it was, so I didn't resist. My face was in the sheets and my ass up in
the air like a cat in heat, and I just let her do her worst. She eased the
strap-on in and out, shallow strokes at first with just the tip penetrating an
inch or two, and slowly making the strokes longer and slower, then speeding up,
harder, harder, withdrawing gently and plunging roughly, until—

She stopped again. She bought me to the brink of orgasm and then just stopped.
Again, she let me cool down a little, holding me and making me tell her how
much I liked it. By now my pussy was a gaping hole of fuck-me-please, and I
wasn't above begging her to keep going. Eventually she did. She stuck it in and
continued with a rough pace right from the beginning. My moans resumed as if
they'd been on pause. Her gorgeous face was right above mine and I was staring
up at her, letting her watch the helplessness pass over my face as I moaned and
panted and finally began chanting her name with rising desperation, Alice,
Alice, Alice—

It ended in multiple orgasms. The climaxes clashed like cymbals in the white
noise of my mind and I was groaning from how amazing it was. My ankles were
locked around her back but then they came undone and flopped either side of
her. My hair was wet with sweat and for a while I didn't even have energy to
open my eyes.

Well. Overall it was pretty fun, but a little intense for my taste. It was nice
to be fucked face to face, and it was certainly a delight to wrap my legs
around her body like an anaconda while my pussy convulsed uncontrollably over
that thing inside me—but all in all, I think I'm more of an oral kind of girl.
Call me old fashioned.

Next it was Alice's turn. She was rather horny, understandably, and she wasted
little time getting the strap-on off and buckling it onto me. I knelt there in
the bed, looking down at in something like horror. It was weird seeing it on my
girlfriend, but seeing it on me was just wrong. But it would've been barbaric
to refuse after she'd been so thorough and generous with me, so I swallowed my
trepidation and asked what she wanted me to do.

Luckily, she took mercy on my inexperience and decided to do all the work
herself. She laid me down on my back and straddled my hips, rubbing her pussy
against the shaft, just teasing herself. She told me to watch very closely, but
she didn't have to; I was watching. She raised up a little and angled the tip
of the strap-on into her entrance. Then she just sat down on it. The look on
her face was breathless and she let out a pretty moan as it thrust up inside
her, as if she'd been waiting a long time for just that. I'm sure the moan was
mostly for my benefit, and it did make me smile. She looked absolutely sexy,
sitting there naked on top of me, squirming gently on the strap-on with her
eyes closed. She enjoyed that first penetration for a little bit and then she
started moving up and down on it. She smiled at me and told me watch, putting
an extra bounce in her boobs as she bounced herself to a climax.

Needless to say, by the time she was done I was horny all over again, and I
didn't object when she fetched up another toy, a double ended dildo. It was
lilac in color and longer than my forearm. It seemed even sillier than a strap-
on, but maybe I'm just an innocent little girl who doesn't understand these
things yet. Innocence is a fleeting thing, however, because it stopped being
silly as soon as it was inserted. My pussy was a little tender at this point,
but it was a nice fit. Alice then inserted the other end into herself and we
proceeded to squirm and writhe and talk dirty until we came.

The last thing we tried was handcuffs. It seemed to be an impulse, not
something planned. Alice was sorting through the toys on the floor, searching
for just the thing that would finally make me explode, when she lifted the
cuffs and looked at them, excitement flittering over her face. They were padded
and fluffy pink so they wouldn't hurt the captive's wrists. She smiled at me
questioningly and it was a smile that made my heart leap. She then climbed back
onto the bed and looked me in the face as she cuffed both her hands behind her
back. Then she just knelt there demurely, her breasts so prominent with her
arms behind her back. I was blushing so hard it felt like my face would melt
off, but I managed to ask her what she wanted me to do. But she only smiled and
said anything; anything I wanted.

And with an invitation like that, what else could I do? Hesitantly, the first
thing I did was stroke her breasts. They were so tempting the way they were
just there on chest, vulnerable, unguarded. So I stroked them, a lump rising in
my throat. Somehow the handcuffs changed the context entirely, and it felt like
I was taking advantage of her, exploiting her defenselessness. And I liked it.
I smiled tentatively and she smiled back, to let me know it was all okay. Then
I wrapped her into a hug and kissed her.

For a while I just enjoyed her helplessness. She gave me no directions at all,
no hints. She seemed to enjoy absolutely anything I did to her, so I laid her
down and touched her all over, kissing on impulse at whatever area appealed to
me. I was very slow, very methodical, examining her body closely as if curious
how it was made. She did nothing but breathe and moan, and soon her body was
hot and limp. I could feel her muscles all liquefied under my hands, and after
a while my excitement was too much to contain. I had to do something, to both
of us, and before I knew it I was rubbing my pussy against her knee. It felt
good, so I moved up to her thigh and rubbed against that. She watched me with
her hands behind her back, and then she smirked and flickered her eyes at her
breasts. It was just a small hint, but clear enough, so I straddled her chest
and started grinding against her boobs, slathering them with my arousal. She
let me do that for a while and then she smiled and licked her lips very
deliberately; another hint. I'd been reluctant to do anything that might be
abusive or demeaning, but suddenly I couldn't help it; I straddled her face and
mashed my pussy into her mouth.

She didn't lick or react at all. She just lay there as I ground my hips into
her face, her lips, her nose. I bought myself to the cusp of orgasm and then
stopped suddenly, swooping down to kiss her and lick her face clean. Then I
flipped her onto her stomach and rubbed against her ass, fast and hard. Her
cuffed hands were there in the small of her back and suddenly I stopped again
and bent down to kiss them and suck her fingers. Then I tribbed on them for a
little bit, inserting a finger or two into myself, before returning to her ass.
I held her cuffed hands as I rubbed myself against her and finally I came,
breathless and wild.

I'd lost control briefly. Usually I wasn't the kind of ogre who'd come before
her girlfriend, but I was quick to make it up to her. I flipped her onto her
back and opened her legs to expose her glistening pussy. I remembered what
she'd said about how there was venom in her saliva and arousal, and how the
venom is addictive. But I didn't hesitate. Her scent had already invaded my
head and I didn't care if she was turning me into a foaming slut. I liked being
her slut. She came and after she came I licked all the arousal from her thighs
and pussy until she giggled and mentioned she was getting horny again. So I ate
her out one more time, devouring her yummy little pussy while she lay there in
handcuffs.

Afterwards, I hunted around on the floor for the key and unlocked her. The
first thing she did with her arms was wrap them around me and kiss me
passionately. It felt like a thank you kiss, and when she pulled back, I asked
if I did okay. She smiled and said yes; I was wonderful.

—

It was early afternoon when we stopped for showers. But then we saw the bath
and decided a bath would be more romantic. We took a shower first, just to
scrub off, and then we drew a bath, making it nice and hot, and then we settled
under the water. Alice reclined in my arms with my legs wrapped around her and
soon we were chatting about our adventures with toys.

"Which one did you like best?" she asked me.

"I'm not sure," I said. "They were all pretty good."

"There has to be one thing you liked better than anything else."

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"I think I just liked going down on you."

She giggled, stroking my shin under the water idly. "That's sweet," she said.
"I'm more of a natural girl, too, but sometimes it's fun to play around with
toys, don't you think?"

I chuckled. My arms were wrapped around her middle, just under the warm globes
of her breasts. I couldn't deny how hard I come from some of those things, so I
didn't even try. "Yeah," I said. "I guess so."

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Did you like it when I was handcuffed?"

I was too embarrassed to answer for a moment, so she turned to me slightly, the
water rustling. Her eyes were full of curiosity, and I knew she was hoping I
liked it, so I shrugged and smiled shyly. "Um, I don't know," I said. "I guess
it was pretty hot."

"Yeah?"

"Sure," I said, with another little shrug. "I mean, as long as you liked it. I
wouldn't want to do it if you didn't."

She looked at me for a second, perhaps wondering if there were whips and
paddles in our future. I blushed and it was probably pretty obvious that I'd
liked it more than I let on. But she didn't push, she just smiled and turned
and settled back against me.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked.

"Of course, baby."

"Do you like that kind of stuff?"

"You mean bondage?"

"Yeah."

My face was flaming and I think I already knew the answer. She shrugged a wet
and bare shoulder.

"Sometimes," she said. I couldn't see her face but her voice sounded a little
self-conscious all the sudden. "I mean, it's kind of romantic, when you think
about it. Not just bondage, but you know. Submission. It's the purest kind of
devotion, don't you think?"

I nodded, but didn't reply. Suddenly she giggled and her voice was casual
again.

"Do you really wanna know why I like being dominated?"

"Okay."

She turned with a grin and leaned to my ear. "Because it's hot," she whispered,
and then she giggled and kissed me.

"I'm serious, Alice," I said when I had use of my mouth again. "I mean, if you
really like this stuff, maybe I could…"

I trailed off, not even sure what I was offering. I was happy to please her in
any way that I could, but if she seriously wanted to be dominated—I mean, what
if I couldn't do it?

But she only smiled and placed another kiss on my lips. "Don't worry, baby,"
she said. "I'm not a demanding woman and I'll never make you do anything you're
not comfortable with. Let's just take it slow. There's plenty of time for our
relationship to grow."

I nodded; that sounded better. Then she smirked.

"That said, however," she went on, "I do think you ought to be a little more
enthusiastic about my submissive side. After all, a slutty sub is a terrible
thing to waste. Wouldn't you like to be my mistress, baby? Hm?"

The conversation had turned casual, but I was still a little self-conscious.
"Is that what you want?" I asked.

"Maybe," she said, looking into my eyes. "What do you think?"

"I don't know," I said, shrugging hesitantly. "Aren't I too young?"

She smirked. "Well, maybe just a little," she said. "It might take a few years
to train you up. Then you'll be my sleek and sexy mistress. A perfect little
panther. And I'll devote myself to you forever and ever. And serve you with my
mouth all night long and then serve you all day as well. Would you like that,
baby?"

I had a brief mental image of me in leather with a whip in my hand. Alice on
the floor, simpering at my feet. My face didn't actually burst into flames, but
maybe that was only because it was wet from the bath. I swallowed. "Um, maybe,"
I said. "I don't know."

She giggled and kissed me. "I thought you might."

"But wouldn't it be better if you were the mistress?"

I blurted it out without thinking, but it did make sense. I mean, I was the
weak and vulnerable human. The blood-slut, so to speak. Wouldn't it be more
natural if I was the slave, living only for her, fulfilling her every whim and
desire. It sounded pretty good to me.

But she only shrugged. "Well, maybe," she said. "I guess it's fun to be the
mistress sometimes. I used to be Rosalie's mistress, so I've had practice."

I froze slightly. I knew almost nothing about her history with the blonde and
the redhead, aside from the fact that she used to be with them and even now
there was some strange bond between them. I was instantly curious.

"You were?" I asked.

I half-expected her to dodge the subject like she had in the past, but I guess
we were past that. "Mmhm," she said. "Rosalie was an amazing sub. You'd be
surprised. All tall and proud and gloriously blonde. You'd never guess she
likes to be tied up and spanked, would you?"

Now I had another image of a blonde goddess bent over Alice's knee as Alice
spanked her perfect ass. I gulped. "Not really," I said, proud that I didn't
stutter.

Alice giggled, almost fondly. "She totally does," she said. "I loved to be
spanked, too. We'll have to try it sometime. Vicky, on the other hand, doesn't
have a submissive bone in her body. She's the most hardcore domme I've ever
seen. You have no idea."

"I could imagine."

Alice snorted quietly. "No," she said. "You can't."

I couldn't see her face because she leaning back in my arms, but something had
changed in the conversation. "What do you mean?" I asked.

She hesitated a second. Then she turned to me. "Listen," she said. "I know I'm
a liar. I've lied and concealed the truth about a lot of things, but I only do
it because sometimes the truth just sucks, you know?"

I nodded, not sure where she was going with this.

"But if we're going to be together," she said, "you deserve to know about my
relationship history. And there's something I want you to know. About when I
went to Paris."

I felt a quick pang of hurt at the mention, but she seemed to be serious, so I
nodded. "Okay."

She took a breath, looking young and vulnerable for a second. "The truth is,"
she said. "You saved my life."

I frowned. "How?"

"Vicky wanted to kill me," she said. "In Paris."

The feeling that passed over me was so cold. I moved in the water,
straightening up a little. "What?"

Alice chuckled once, as if to take the edge off it. "Yeah," she said. "The only
thing that saved me was you. When Jane called and told me you were in a coma, I
just had to come back."

"But I don't get it," I said, feeling panic rise in my chest. "Why did she want
to kill you? Is it because of me? Is it my fault?"

"No, no, it's nothing like that. I mean, she was jealous, sure, but it wasn't
only that."

"Then what?"

She sighed and settled back against me. "This is where it get's difficult for
you to understand," she said. "But you know I was Vicky's sub, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I've been her sub for a long time. And over the years we've explored
different kinds of submission. Bondage. Humiliation. Pain. I've done absolutely
everything I could think of to prove my devotion to her. The only thing left…is
death."

I froze, arms around her. I had no idea what to say, so I just repeated:
"Death?"

Alice chuckled and waved a hand, water dripping. "Death," she said
theatrically. "The ultimate submission. It probably sounds insane to you, but
death is Vicky's version of going all the way. She wanted me to let her kill
me. It makes a certain sense, too. A heart won can be lost again but a heart
destroyed is claimed forever."

I was stunned. Just completely stunned. "That's…" I stammered. "That's…"

"Oh, it's hardcore," she giggled. "But like I said, Vicky's a hardcore kind of
girl. It's one of the things I loved about her. No one's ever pushed me to the
limit like Vicky. I've told you before that my ideas about romance are very
radical."

I turned Alice around by the shoulders. "But you'd never let her do that,
though, right?"

But she only shrugged her bare shoulder, so strangely untroubled. "I don't
know," she said. "I almost did. She's been trying to get me to do it for
decades, but I was just never quite ready. It's a pretty big step, after all.
But then there was you, and everything that happened. I was very vulnerable in
Paris. I thought you were my soulmate, my destiny. And then you cheated on me.
But I know now that I overreacted. Vicky is a powerful woman and you're just a
girl. It wasn't your fault. Only a self-righteous troll could possibly blame
you for what happened. But it shook me up. I thought that I'd finally stumbled
across the perfect girl, the perfect relationship. But then it was tainted. It
wasn't perfect anymore."

I blinked back tears. I regretted cheating on her so much. "Alice…"

"That's why I ran back to Vicky," she said. "Because Vicky… Vicky can never be
corrupted because she is corrupt. With Vicky, I know what I am, I know where I
stand. I know what's expected of me. I know what I have to do, I don't have to
guess. I don't have to worry. All I have to do is submit. With my body, my
heart. My life.

"Part of me really wanted let her do it. She's been wearing me down for years,
and I'm getting old now. Very old. I felt like maybe I was ready to die anyway.
I just get so tired of life sometimes. My heart's been broken so often. So many
girlfriend's I've had to say goodbye to. And Jane, and Rosalie, and Esme. And
then you. I regretted going back to Vicky, but I never thought you'd forgive
me. I was an idiot. I should've believed in you. Because we really are
soulmates, Bella. I'll never believe that this isn't special between us. I
don't care if you slept with Vicky, or Jane or Leah, or even Lauren. Because I
love you, and…" She wiped a tear from her eye and smiled quickly to hide it.
"—I mean, you know I'll forgive you for anything, right?"

I nodded, blinking back my own tears. "I know."

"And you forgive me too, don't you?"

I wrapped my arms around her and drew her close. "You never did anything wrong,
Alice," I whispered to her.

She gave a wet giggle, leaning against my chest. "I thought I did all kinds of
things wrong," she said. "I make you lie to your mother, I make you skip
school, I stalked you. I bite you, I make you do naughty things in bed. I went
back to Vicky."

All that was true, but I was beyond caring. I loved her; now more than ever. "I
forgive you for all that, Alice," I said, caressing her soft shoulder. "I love
you."

She looked into my eyes. "Oh, baby," she said. "I love you too."

Then she leaned forward and kissed me. I held her naked body and stroked her
under the water. My Alice. She was so warm and soft, so smooth and slippery.
She broke the kiss and smiled at me. I smiled back, so wrapped up in the sudden
love I felt for her that I momentarily forgot what she'd just told me about her
ex. Then I remembered and shook my head quickly.

"I just can't believe that woman is such a fucking psycho," I said. "I mean,
why are you even still living with her?"

Alice giggled and went flippant again. "Oh, she's not a psycho," she said,
settling back against me. "She's just a woman who knows what she wants, that's
all. It's her confidence that drew me to her. It can be intoxicating." Then she
gave a giggle as if something amusing just occurred to her. "It's funny in a
way, isn't it? Lesbian Bed Death is a serious issue for lesbian couples, only
in Vicky's arms the death part tends to be a little more literal."

I frowned. "What's lesbian bed death?"

"It's the theory that lesbian couples stop having sex earlier than other
couples," she said. "It's not really true, but sometimes when a woman goes
through menopause, she loses interest in sex. Hormone fluctuations and all. It
happens to straight women just as easily as gay ones, but sexologists have
always been eager to disenfranchise lesbianism over the years. No one wants to
believe that a woman can be happy without a penis in her life."

I cringed slightly. I was generally uncomfortable on the topic of penis in any
situation, but naked and in the bath with my girlfriend made the subject seem
just a trifle more inappropriate. In any case, I felt that I should try to keep
her focused on the primary issue, which is the fact that her ex wants to kill
her.

"Alice," I said, turning her by the shoulders so that I could look into her
eyes. "Just promise me you'll never let her…"

I trailed off; I didn't even want to say it out loud. How could someone
possibly want to do that to someone they loved? I couldn't even begin to
understand. I'd never do anything to Alice that didn't make her feel good. All
I'll ever want to do is kiss her and touch her softly.

Alice smiled and placed a kiss on my lips. "I don't have to promise," she said.
"Because I have you. I'll live forever as long as you want me. Just promise
you'll never leave me, okay?"

My heart roared with love. The feeling was so powerful I almost cried. "I
promise," I said, holding her tight. "I'll love you forever, Alice. I'll never
stop."

She smiled and kissed me again, longer this time. Then she stroked my wet hair,
placed one more little kiss on my lips, and settled back against me.

We were silent for a few minutes and my mind was racing with everything she'd
said. I was scared of the redhead before. Now I was terrified. Was she actually
capable of killing people? Alice had said that her coven doesn't hurt humans,
and technically Alice wasn't human—but how could she ever want to hurt Alice?

Alice. God, I loved her so much. I've been such an idiot. How could I even
think about Lauren with such a perfect girl lurking outside my bedroom window?
She'd only stalked me because she loved me. She'd always loved me. And then
I—how could I have ever have cheated on her?

And with her. How could I ever have touched that vile slut? A woman who likes
to kill her lovers like a black widow. And what about the blonde? Is she safe?
I hoped so. The blonde was always mean to me, but she was gorgeous, and I
really hoped the redhead wouldn't hurt her.

Or me. Victoria was obviously a total psycho. What would she do when she finds
out that Alice went back to me? Would she try to take Alice back? Would Alice
go? No, Alice loved me. Alice—

"Alice."

"Mm?"

My legs were wrapped around her and she was stroking my shin like a cat. I
paused to frame my question. But then I just said it:

"What's going to happen when she comes back?"

"Vicky?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know"

"Is she going to try and take you back?"

She sighed and continued petting my leg. "I don't know, baby," she said. "I
really don't." Then she turned in my lap and looked at me. "Would you fight for
me if she tried?" she asked.

I didn't even think about it. "Of course I would."

Alice smiled and kissed my lips. "Then I'm sure I have nothing to worry about."
And again she settled back against me.

It occurred to me then that if it really did come to a fight then I'd be pretty
much fucked. I suppose I could sharpen some stakes and ask a priest to bless a
bottle of spring water, but beyond that, what could I possibly do against a
woman like Victoria? I couldn't even protect myself from her, let alone my
girlfriend.

Why was Alice so dependant on that woman, anyway? Shouldn't she hate her,
despise her, loathe her very being? But even as I wondered, I think I already
knew why.

"Victoria is the one who turned you," I said. "Isn't she?"

The question seemed to startle her. She'd been stroking my leg under the water,
and she stopped for a second before resuming, as if she didn't want me to
notice. "What makes you say that?" she asked.

"I don't know," I said, and I really didn't. It just made sense. Everyone said
there was a special bond between them and I couldn't imagine anything else that
would keep Alice going back to such a person. "Was she?"

"Yes," she said. "It was about three hundred years ago. Vicky was a duchess."

That surprised me. "A duchess?"

"Well, she was the wife of a duke. Technically women had no authority in those
days."

That flabbergasted me. "She was married?"

Alice giggled. "Well, technically she was," she said. "I have no idea how she
became a vampire or when. I never met her husband, either. She never talked
about him or even mentioned his name. I assumed he was living in the city. But
maybe he was dead. Vicky had a steward that handled his duties as duke. And, of
course, she had her hobbies."

"Hobbies?"

"She liked to seduce young girls from the village. Preferably virgins. She'd
pick one out who was young and pretty and she'd invite her to come live with
her in her manor. Sometimes just one, sometimes two or three at a time. She'd
buy them things, jewelry, pretty dresses, horses. She'd take them for rides in
her carriage. It never took very long to get them into bed. In most cases, they
were quite eager. Vicky was like a goddess and it felt natural, even proper, to
worship her. She would train them as sex slaves, and when she was done…"

I felt a chill. "She killed them?"

Alice gave a chuckle, still stroking my leg. "No," she said. "She sent them to
town and hooked them up with husbands. None of them were actually gay, after
all, and a decent marriage was really the best a girl could hope for in those
days. She treated them all very gently, even lovingly. She was a big softie
back then. She never killed any of them and never turned any of them. Until me.

"I was a special case, obviously. I don't remember my human life so well, but I
was nothing before Vicky. A peasant. I never had any interest in men, but a
girl had very little liberty in those days, so if it wasn't for Vicky I
would've been forced into marriage. Or worse.

"I still remember the first time I saw her. Vicky was returning from town and
she passed through the village in her carriage. It was a beautiful carriage,
black lacquer work and gold trim. Four beautiful black horses. Everyone in the
street stopped and watched. I was standing by the side of the dirt road in a
dirty dress, staring like everyone else. Her window was open and as she passed
our eyes met. It was just a brief moment, but she smiled. I was stunned by how
beautiful she was, with her bright red hair and perfect face. All I could do
was stare, and at first she drove on. But then the carriage stopped. I think I
knew right then that my life was about to change, and I wasn't wrong. Because
then she leaned out the window, smiled, and beckoned me forward with her
finger.

"Vicky didn't get out the carriage, of course. The road was muddy. But she
talked to me. She was very warm, very friendly. Almost patronizing. She was the
kind of woman who was well aware of her own superiority, but I think that's
what attracted me most. She asked my name, and I told her. Then she asked if
I'd keep her company on the ride home. She let me get in the carriage, dirty as
I was, and that was the last I ever saw of my family. I never missed them."

I listened in silence. She was still stroking my leg and she went on with a
sigh.

"It was like a dream come true," she said. "Vicky was everything I never knew I
wanted. I was less resistant than most girls, obviously. She had me that very
first night. She let me stay for dinner and then she had the maids draw me a
bath. She helped me undress and bathed me. Then she had another bath drawn and
she let me watch her bathe. I was mystified by her body. I'd never seen
anything so beautiful. I mean, her tits. Have you ever seen such amazing tits?"

"Of course," I said. "Yours."

And to emphasize my point I cupped them and gave them a quick squeeze. She
giggled and turned to give me a quick kiss.

"Yours, too," she said, "but this was before I met you. Anyway, that's how it
started. From the second I saw her, I was filled with an inexplicable trust and
desire to please. She was the first woman I was truly attracted too. There were
other girls I liked, but no one ever affected me like Vicky.

"And she knew it. She could see how much I liked her in my face, so she didn't
bother taking it slow. She took me to bed, naked, and started touching me all
over. Stroking me like a stray kitten she'd taken home. I let her do anything
she wanted and I did anything she asked me. I even let her feed from me. I was
a little scared when I saw her fangs, but I was far more excited and eager to
please. I responded to her even more readily than you did to me. It felt right,
appropriate, perfect. I wouldn't have cared if I died. It was just too awesome.

"She was very gentle to begin with, but right from beginning it was clear that
she liked me to be obedient. And over time it became more and more clear that I
liked being obedient. It was fun for me. At first she was happy to simply have
her every command obeyed without question. But then she started to push me. I
think she was fascinated to see how far I'd go. So she started to hurt me.
First with her hands. She'd slap me and pinch me. Playfully at first, but
harder and harder. Hard enough to make me scream or cry. Then she started to
use knives. Shallow cuts so she could lick the blood. But no matter what she
did and how much it hurt, I only wanted more.

"In the end, it's hard to say who corrupted who. She wouldn't have gone so far
if I hadn't been willing, and I wouldn't have been willing if she didn't want
to do it. For me it was all very simple. But for her it was a little more
complicated. It became harder and harder for her to refrain from killing me,
especially as it became clear that I would've let her. She had me at the
absolute edge and all she had to do push. With a single command she could've
claimed me forever. But she couldn't. Because she'd fallen in love with me. In
her own way. No girl had ever worshiped her so completely like I did, and after
a while she became so smitten with my level of submission that…that she decided
to turn me. The constant influx of venom had been maintaining my body and
helping my wounds heal, but she didn't want to risk losing me to illness or
infection. Not so soon. Because as much as she craved my destruction, she
couldn't bare to lose me. And maybe I wasn't ready to die, either. Because deep
in my heart I knew I wanted to worship her forever. I never wanted to stop."

I'd been listening with a sick feeling in my stomach and even sicker feeling in
my pussy. The bath water had cooled and there was a cold feeling inside of me.
I had no idea the redhead was so warped. And Alice… How could Alice…

"But that was a long time ago," she said. "Our dark little fantasy lasted quite
a while, but eventually…"

"What?" I whispered.

"Well, we were vampires," she said. "We needed to feed. Other women were
inevitable, and soon there was jealousy and possessiveness and bickering. Not
to mention the small dramas with Jane, Rosalie, Leah. Even Esme. We tried
various arrangements, but in the end there was nothing that would satisfy the
unrealistic demands we had of each other. At first I only fed from Vicky and I
remained exclusive to her for many years, but after a while it occurred to me
that it was unfair she got to have human lovers and I didn't. So I started to
take human lovers of my own. Vicky was furious and at first I went back to her
right away. She'd beat me and demean me and make me beg her to take me back.
But nothing had changed. It still wasn't fair that she got to have other women,
and the longer we stayed together the more I realized that it wasn't really
love between us. Just a twisted kind of sisterhood. Still special and important
to me. But not love.

"My idea's about love had changed and evolved over the years, and by then I
wasn't sure if death was really so romantic. Is sacrifice truly the ultimate
expression of devotion? Or does true devotion linger forever without faltering,
unending, never weakening? I don't know. We never did come to any conclusions.
But by then it didn't matter. Our relationship became less rigid, but in many
ways, it only became stronger. Because no matter how many other women there
were between us, one thing was clear; neither of us wanted any one as much as
we wanted each other."

Alice turned and smiled.

"Until you," she said.

At first I didn't even know what she meant. I blinked at her. "Me?"

"Mmm," she said, lifting a hand from the water and caressing my face. "You were
the first woman who made me want to leave Victoria. Because when I met you, I
knew. I knew that you were the only woman I was supposed to be with."

I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't even process that. I just looked at her.
She was blinking back tears and her eyes were so huge, so pretty. She smiled at
me sadly.

"I keep talking about destiny," she said, "but honestly I have no idea what's
going to happen between us, baby. I truly don't. All I know is that I want to
be with you. Now and forever. No one's ever made me feel the way you make me
feel. I love you, baby."

She kissed me before I could speak. It was an urgent kiss, desperate for me to
respond. I did. I wrapped my arms around her naked body and drew her closer,
requesting entry with my tongue. She opened her mouth and I caressed her tongue
with my own, making her moan for more. Then I broke the kiss suddenly and said:

"I love you too, Alice."

She was sitting in my lap, naked, pretty, looking at me with such huge and
beautiful eyes. "Do you really, baby?" she asked. "Even after all that?"

My heart swelled until it felt like it would burst out of my chest. The look in
her eyes filled me with a sense of fulfillment. Because for the first time I
realized that I really was valuable in this relationship, that I actually
contributed to my girlfriend's happiness. There was something I could give her
that no one else could, and I wanted her to have all of it. So I cupped her
face and smiled.

"Of course I love you, Alice," I said. "You're my soulmate."

She almost melted. Her whole body sagged with happiness as all her breath
escaped her and then she thrust her lips on mine. "Oh I love you too, baby,"
she whimpered. "I love you so much."

It was a touching moment. I was prepared to sit her on the rim of the bathtub
and go down on her, but she had another idea. Her lips fell onto my neck and
suddenly she bit me. I gasped from the shock and the pain, but she only snaked
her arms around my back and sucked hungrily at the wound, desperately.

It was the first time she'd ever bit me without my expressed permission, silent
or not, but I didn't mind. She was rough, almost painful. Blood dripped from
her mouth and bloomed pale pink in the bath water. I craned my neck, stretching
the wound for her and wincing at the sting of her lips. She moaned eagerly and
sucked harder, her fingernails digging into my back like claws. She didn't need
my permission and I was happy she finally knew that.

"I love you, Alice," I whispered. "I love you."

—

We skipped school for the rest of the week. We didn't talk about her psychotic
ex again and we both seemed to be resolved on simply enjoying each other as
much as we could for as long as we could. We'd make love all day and at night
Alice would come through my window wearing her long black coat and something
special underneath. On Tuesday it had been black lingerie. On Wednesday it was
a hot pink spandex thong and no bra. On Thursday it was a delightful ensemble
composed of a pale purple nightie, purple stockings, and fingerless gloves of
purple lace that reached to her elbows. The nightie was see-through and she
wore nothing underneath. All through Friday I kept asking her what she'd be
wearing tonight, but she'd only giggle and say it was a surprise. I was very
excited, needless to say.

That afternoon we bid our brief farewells before mom got home, as usual, and I
settled on the couch to watch TV and wonder what kinky costume Alice would
surprise me with. The possibilities were endless with a self-professed slutty
sub like Alice, but whatever it was, it would be sexy. I wondered if I was
within my rights as her girlfriend to make requests. I'd love to have some fun
with her cheerleader uniform someday. That miniskirt with no panties. Yum.

I was in the middle of these musings when mom got home. She came into the
living room with her face set in a stony expression and I knew instantly that
the school had called her. Me and Alice had been planning to go back on Monday.
I'd been hoping that she mom find out, but at the same time, I guess I always
knew she would.

"Hey mom," I said, somehow hoping I was wrong.

But I wasn't. Mom snatched the remote out of my hand and turned off the TV.
"You're homeroom teacher called me after school," she said. "She said you
haven't been all week."

There was very little I could say here. My heart sank, but I felt curiously
unaffected. If I was going to be a vampire someday, what did it matter if I
missed a bit of school?

Mom frowned at me, hands on her hips. "Where have you been?" she demanded.

"Home."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"It's true."

"Why haven't you been at school?"

I looked away, my heart sinking a little further. I decided to just tell her
the truth. "I got back together with Alice," I mumbled. "We were hanging out."

She shook her head. Her hands were still on her hips and she wouldn't look at
me. "I don't believe this, Bella," she said. "After everything that girl put
you through…"

I felt a sudden surge of affection for my demonic girlfriend and I rushed to
her defense. "It wasn't her fault, mom," I said. "It was a misunderstanding,
that's all."

Which it was, really. Somehow, I'm sure. But mom didn't believe me.

"Why haven't you been at school?"

I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing.

"Answer me, Bella."

I heaved a sigh in typical teen fashion. Man, what a drag. Why don't parent's
ever understand that sometimes a daughter needs to lay around all week and have
her brains fucked out with sex toys?

"Alice has been coming over," I said, and because I couldn't mention sex to my
mom, I added: "We just wanted to hang out, that's all. You know, just us."

Mom glared at me, still frozen there with her hands on her hips. "So you'd
thought you'd just skip a whole week of school?"

Well, basically. I'd gone on Monday and got my heart broken by Lauren, but I
didn't think mom wanted to be corrected on the technicalities. So I just
shrugged helplessly.

"We wanted to be alone."

Her glare became even more fierce. "Why?"

The implication was fairly obvious, so I just hung my head.

"Is this why you're so pale and spaced out all the time?" mom demanded. "Are
you doing drugs?"

Actually—

"No," I blurted. "Of course not."

Mom didn't appear to believe me, but she didn't stand around to ask more
questions; she turned on her heel and marched up stairs. I followed, finally
beginning to panic.

She blew into my bedroom like a hurricane and started rifling through my
drawers. I stood in the doorway in an agony of discomfort. I wanted so badly to
say something that would make everything go back to the way it was, but there
was nothing to say. All I could do was watch as she ransacked my room for
illegal substances. Suddenly I realized that I should've hid the vibrator
better. It wasn't a drug, but in Alice's capable hands it could certainly be
addictive. I was also pretty sure there were laws that restricted sex toys to a
certain age, although I'm not sure who would police them.

Mom found it in my underwear drawer. She swept aside a stack of panties and
froze as if she'd found a butcher knife. She picked it up and turned to me
furiously.

"What the hell is this?" she demanded in a brittle voice.

In my panicked state of mind, I actually thought she didn't know what it was,
so I attempted a lie. "It's one of those things for Wii," I said, which was
rather brilliant under the circumstances. "Like a controller."

But mom only shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. "You must think I'm
completely stupid."

"No," I said. "I just—"

With a loathing look on her face, she flung the vibrator on the ground as if it
was something too disgusting to touch. And considering where it had been
recently—

"Where did you get it?"

I saw little point lying. "Alice gave it to me."

"I can't believe you, Bella. I told you that girl was bad for you, didn't I?
How could you possibly go back to her after everything she put you through?"

"I love her."

"You love her."

"Yeah."

Mom looked away, her bottom lip trembling. It must be distressing to have a
daughter like me. "This is a mother's worst nightmare, you know," she said, and
I could hear tears in her voice. "To have a daughter so hung up on a boyfriend
that she can't even…"

I bowed my head. Technically, I was hung up on a girlfriend not a boyfriend,
but I could appreciate her point. I completely agreed; nothing more pathetic
than a girl who has no life outside her relationship. It was difficult to be
remorseful of having frequent sex with the prettiest girl in the world, but for
mom's sake I made an effort.

"I'm sorry," I said.

Mom composed herself, sniffed, and glared at me. I shrugged and looked away
from her wet eyes.

"I know it was wrong to skip so much school," I said, trying to explain. "But I
had to. I needed to be with her, just her. No one's ever made me happy like she
makes me."

"No one's ever made you miserable like her, either," mom retorted.

Another valid point, but it wasn't a point that aided my case, so I overlooked
it. "I'm sorry, mom," I said. "But these feelings I have for Alice… I can't
just ignore them and go to school. I mean, it's not like a regular highschool
relationship. She's more than a girlfriend, she's…

"She's what?"

I knew how stupid it would sound, but I said it anyway: "My soulmate."

It came out odd and self-conscious. Somehow it seemed less romantic than when I
said it to Alice in the bath. Maybe it was my poor delivery, but mom wasn't
quite impressed with the full majesty and significance of the word.

"She's a tramp," mom spat. "That's what she is."

In all fairness, I shouldn't have gotten angry at that. Of all the descriptors
available to a lady like Alice, tramp was actually a trifle tame. It was like
calling a pornstar cute, but I bristled a bit with self-righteousness anyway.

"Don't say that, mom."

Mom narrowed her eyes. "Excuse me?"

The look quickly frightened the anger away and I took a distraught step
forward. "Look, I'm sorry," I said. "Okay? I'll go back to school on Monday. I
really didn't mean to skip so much. I just wanted to hang out with Alice a
little, that's all. I just—"

But mom raised a hand and turned away in disgust. "Just don't talk to me,
Bella," she said. "Don't even talk to me right now."

Then she strode past me and out the door, slamming it behind her. I stood
frozen in my suddenly silent bedroom. I was stunned thoughtless. Mom had never
spoken to me like that before. Even when she'd grounded me. She'd been hurt and
angry—but she'd never been disgusted. Not really.

I sat on the edge of my bed. Then I laid down. I tried to think of someway I
could make things better with mom, but there was none. She didn't approve of my
relationship with Alice and she never would. It was sad, but there was really
nothing I could do, and after a while my thoughts turned back to wondering what
Alice would be wearing tonight.

It was only a few hours till I found out. I skipped dinner and said a meek
goodnight to mom—who didn't reply—and then I got naked and got into bed.

Alice came at eleven o'clock as she always did and I smiled to see her long
black coat. She was smiling too and without speaking she undid the belt and
dropped the coat behind her. Her pale body was encased in a tight black leather
corset that bunched and spilled out her breasts, and she was wearing thigh-high
black leather boots with tall heels, and on her hands were long black leather
gloves with zips up the side. Protruding from her crotch was an enormous black
strap-on.

"Hey baby," she said, sauntering forward. "How would you liked to get fucked?"

I smiled. She did look more like a tramp than a soulmate—a very hardcore
tramp—but she was my Alice and I loved her. The sight of her sexy self had
swept away any emotional turmoil I might've been feeling and all that was left
was the desire to indeed get fucked. So I flung off the covers and spread my
legs for her.

"You look fucking amazing," I told her as she climbed onto the bed.

"Thanks," she said. The strap-on was pointing at me rigidly and without warning
she stuffed it directly into my pussy. I gasped from the pain and my whole body
flinched in a sudden spike of breathless violation. Alice smiled and covered my
mouth with her hand, pushing the strap-on in deeper. "Just don't get too used
to being dominated," she said. "I'm only showing you how it's done so you can
do it to me someday, okay?"

I nodded frantically with her hand over my mouth and the strap-on half
splitting me. She smirked her sexy smirk and suddenly gave me a savage thrust,
making her exposed boobs jiggle above the shiny black leather of her corset,
making mine wobble too where I lay there helplessly. I whimpered and she nodded
at my passiveness.

"Good girl," she said. "Now grab my ass while I fuck you."

—

***** Chapter 18 *****
—

Chapter 18:

—

Alice and I had a lovely weekend. Mom wasn't very happy about it, but she
probably needs to get laid. I got laid all the time and I was relatively happy.

Still, Alice and I were careful not to push her too far, and we managed to
avoid any scenes or dramas. Alice came over Saturday morning and we spent most
of the day cooped up in my room, listening to music and just chilling. Mom
would eye us darkly whenever we made appearances in the kitchen or living room,
but Alice would smile her charming smile and the encounter would pass without
incident.

On Sunday we went shopping in the city. We were out all day and came back in
the evening with about twelve bags of clothes, mostly goth stuff—casual things
that I could wear to school—to round out my wardrobe. We had a brief fashion
parade in my room where I showed off my new baggy black cargoes and baggy black
jeans, my new tops that were black with skulls or roses on them, my new boots
and bracelets and leather necklaces, all black and most with studs on them. She
loved everything, but she seemed to prefer me in nothing at all, so I gave her
a naked lap dance before dinner. I completed the performance by slipping my new
black vibrator inside me and going down her while she sat on the edge of the
bed, and I was so happy with my new clothes and so flattered that she would
spend so much money on me that I put an extra bit of thankfulness in it and
really ate her out.

I woke up Monday morning with a feeling of acute disappointment. Alice and I
had decided that it was best to go back to school and resume some kind of
normal routine. Unfortunately, this meant that she wasn't in my bed when I woke
up and I wouldn't see her for at least an hour. I found that it was much harder
to struggle out of bed when I knew there'd be no shower sex with my gorgeous
girlfriend, but somehow I managed, and in trying to arrive on at outfit to
wear, I went with a black skirt and fishnets. I would've preferred my brand new
baggy black cargoes, but there was no way I was going to make it through the
whole day without sex, and it was simply easier to get fucked in a skirt than
pants. Besides, fishnets are cute.

Lastly I tied my hair in twin pigtails, added a touch of eyeliner and dark
lipstick, and then I donned my collar and a couple bracelets; casual but goth.
The bite marks on my neck were still fresh, but it had been days since she'd
bitten me, and I was starting to regain a little color. I was still pale, just
not grey. And, as I couldn't help notice as I gazed into the bathroom mirror, I
was also looking extremely pretty. My dark eyes made my own heart flutter and I
couldn't help thinking I'd definitely do that bitch; definitely.

Alice picked me up at seven thirty, and to my delight she was wearing a skirt
as well, which made it really easy to go down on each other in the back seat.
Eventually we wound up at school, although neither of us were particularly
happy to part from each other, not even for something as important as
education. But we did, like the responsible young women we were, and I was only
slightly late to homeroom after our goodbye kiss at my locker turned into a bit
of a make out session.

We lasted about ten minutes in biology before we both excused ourselves to use
the bathroom. And we did, in a way. We used the bathroom to finger each other
one of the stalls, but we were very quick, and we went straight back to class.

Lauren avoided me all day, but I caught her glancing at me from time to time.
She seemed sullen and sad, sitting quietly with her friends, not smiling, not
laughing. I felt sorry for her but I didn't know why I should. I hadn't thought
much about that night, but I had the time in class since I certainly wasn't
focused on my school work, and I tried to figure out what went wrong. It didn't
seem to be my fault. I'd said something stupid at a crucial moment, sure, but
I'd been prepared to apologize. And considering her reaction at the time, that
was pretty gracious of me. Besides, she was the one who freaked out and went
back to her boyfriend. Anyway, it didn't even matter. Humanity didn't interest
me anymore—if it ever did—and now I had Alice again. Alice was all I needed.

At lunch time Alice and I stood in line in the cafeteria. Neither of us had
much appetite, but we grabbed something to eat anyway, and made our way to a
private table of our own. I would've liked to sit with Leah and Jane, at least
during lunch, but I guess it was sweet that Alice wanted to keep me to herself.
But our romantic luncheon for two didn't last long, because when Leah and Jane
entered the cafeteria and saw us sitting alone, they forewent their usual table
and came directly over to us, Jane grinning, Leah sauntering along behind her.

"Hey there, you lovebirds," Jane said, sliding into a chair. "Nice weekend?"

Alice seemed a little put out at the intrusion, but I smiled.

"Oh, you know," I said. "Hung out. Went shopping."

It was the abridged version of our activities and Jane knew it.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's all you did," she giggled.

Leah had sat down too, neither of them with a lunch tray. She looked over my
top and smirked. It had a skull and crossbones on it and it fit pretty tight.

"Cute top," Leah said. "Suits you."

"Thanks."

"Yeah," Jane agreed. "Really emphasizes your rack."

I blushed. Alice bristled.

"Stop looking at my girlfriend."

Jane giggled and plucked a potato chip from Alice's lunch tray. She didn't have
to eat so it was obviously a blatant act of annoyance. She popped the chip in
her mouth and smirked. "Be grateful we're only looking," she said. "Two weeks
ago we were fucking her."

Alice had been holding my hand under the table. The hand tightened, but she
didn't say anything. Leah smiled at me.

"So you guys are officially back together, huh?"

I smiled at Alice and gave her hand a squeeze under the table. "Yep."

"Aww," Jane cooed, "I guess it's true love, after all. That's so sweet. You
know, we all gotta go on a double date sometime. I'm thinking dinner and a
movie, a hotel room, maybe a casual orgy. What do you think?"

Alice looked at her. "I don't think so."

"Come on, I was only joking. Let's just hang out or something."

"Me and Bella wanna focus on each other right now."

Jane turned to me. "You gonna let her make all your decisions like that?"

I looked at Alice. She was still very pretty so I turned back to Jane and said:
"Um, yeah."

Leah chuckled silently. Jane rolled her eyes.

"Oh brother," she said. "Listen, honey. Alice doesn't own you. You're a big
girl, you can make your own decisions. You could even make those decisions with
me—without any clothes on."

I looked at Alice helplessly and Alice turned to Jane with a grin. "Forget it,"
she said. "I'll be making all of Bella's decisions from now on and I can assure
you that none of them will involve her taking her clothes off for any one but
me."

I felt relieved. It was so nice to have a girlfriend assertive enough to
nullify your capacity for independent thought. Jane heaved a sigh and looked at
me forlornly.

"Oh well," she said, "I tried. So does this mean you're done with Lauren?"

I felt a slight prickle run across my skin, but I ignored it. I didn't want to
talk about it, so I just nodded.

"You sure?" Jane went on. "You probably still have a shot. Poor chick was
messed up all week. She's still not right. It's like she fucked up the love of
her life or something."

Alice was looking at me intently, not pleased with the conversation. I didn't
want her to think I had feelings for anyone but her, so I frowned at Jane. "I
don't care," I said. "I never even liked her to begin with."

A slight exaggeration, but it made Alice happy. Jane turned in her chair and
looked across the cafeteria at where Lauren sat with her friends. She was the
only one of them not talking and she didn't seem to be eating either.

"Maybe it's time I take a shot at her," Jane said. "She's kind of cute." Then
she turned back to us and sighed. "It just sucks to start with a new girl after
you already get used to one. If Ally wasn't such a bitch she'd let us have you
too."

Alice snorted and took my arm possessively. "Get your own girlfriend."

"Sisters share, Alice," Jane told her.

"You're not my sister, it's just pretend."

"Friends share too."

"They don't share girlfriends."

"Why don't you let Bella decide if she'd like to be shared?"

"Because Bella belongs to me, don't you Bella?"

Everyone looked at me for my feelings on the subject. I'd been taking a bite of
my sandwich and now I lowered it. I knew they were only play-bickering like
they always did, but there seemed to be an edge of seriousness in the
conversation too, as if the table were genuinely interested if I'd like to
share myself sometime. Alice was looking at me expectantly, still holding my
arm, and since she did totally own me, I said: "Of course."

Alice smiled happily and touched her head to my shoulder fondly. Jane rolled
her eyes.

"Jeez," she said to Alice, "since when are you the dominant one?"

Alice smirked. "It's only sometimes."

"Well, that's still no reason why we can't go on a double date sometime. Come
on, it'll be fun."

Alice paused to think about it. She looked at me, looked at Jane. Then she gave
a little shrug. "I'll think about it."

"Yay!" Jane cheered. "That means yes."

Alice was smiling too. "But no sex," she added warningly. "Just hanging out."

Leah smirked, looking me over with her dark eyes. "We'll see," she said.

She'd said it with her sexy eyes fixed firmly on me, but this obvious threat to
my maidenhood only made Alice giggle. "I'm serious," she said, tightening her
grip on my arm. "Bella's pussy belongs to me, doesn't it Bella?"

It seemed a little crude for the lunch table, but I could feel my pussy
stirring as if nodding eagerly, so I smiled at her. "Sure."

Jane and Leah shared a look that was almost an eye roll. Alice giggled.

"Speaking of which," she said, rising to her feet. "Bella and I aren't exactly
hungry for food, so if you'll excuse us…"

Alice tugged me to my feet, and I admit I wasn't too disappointed to leave my
lunch. She took me to an empty classroom upstairs where we indulged in a
tastier meal and then we just made out until the bell went.

"Fuck," I said, disconnecting my red and swollen lips from Alice's. I had been
getting horny again and I didn't want to stop.

Alice giggled and tucked her boobs back into her bra. "Hey, I got an idea," she
said. "Take off your panties."

"What about class?"

"Just quickly."

I was already slipping them off. I was hesitant to skip class with my
relationship with mom so frayed already, but luckily that wasn't what Alice had
on her devilish little mind. She slipped off her own panties as well and handed
them to me.

"Here," she said with a grin. "You wear mine and I'll wear yours. We'll swap
back later at your place."

"Uh, why?"

"Because it's sexy," she giggled, pulling on my own panties. She lifted the hem
of her skirt and struck a pose. "Don't you think?"

Sometimes it was difficult to remember that Alice was a centuries old vampire.
But she did have a point, I realized as I stepped into her panties and pulled
them up under my skirt; it was kind of hot.

Alice giggled and quickly kissed me. "I love you, baby."

I smiled and kissed her back. "I love you, too."

It was a curious feeling to sit through the rest of the day in my girlfriend's
underwear and even more weird when I walked into math and saw Lauren sitting by
herself in the corner. I felt a wave of pity for her, even though I was pretty
positive that it had been her fault our brief attempt at a relationship had
crashed and burned. She was staring down at a textbook and tapping it with a
pen sullenly. She didn't really look like she was reading it.

I hesitated a few moments and then I just went over. I probably should've
avoided her, but I had no one else to sit next to, and I did still care about
the closet clutching bitch.

"Hey," I said.

I had no idea what her reaction would be, considering what a volatile little
troll she could be, but I was surprised; she looked up, surprise flashed over
her face, and she actually shuffled her chair over as if to make room, although
there was plenty of room already.

"Hey," she said.

Satisfied that she wasn't going to stab me with a pencil and call me a dyke, I
sat down beside her, ignoring the weird feeling that fluttered through me.

We were silent till class started and silent for a while afterwards, the
awkwardness growing between us. We could barely even look at each other. When I
did glance at her I didn't see her expression; I'd been distracted by the
glossy sheen of her hair, and I turned away bitterly. I loved Alice and I never
wanted to be with anyone else, but it made me sick to think of the wasted
possibilities between me and Lauren.

"So where were you all week?" she asked suddenly, without looking at me.

I glanced at her. Her voice was a sullen mutter, as if she didn't really care
about the answer, but I knew she did. She knew that me and Alice were absent at
the same time and Jane had probably told her we're back together. I was feeling
slightly bitter, and I almost said something vulgar just to let her know that
she'd missed out on a chick that puts out more than a professional whore, but I
didn't. I felt sorry for her, so I just shrugged.

"Sick," I said.

Lauren nodded. She didn't believe me, but she seemed to be happy I didn't
mention Alice.

We fell silent again, pretending to focus on our school work. Then I blew out a
frustrated breath and said:

"So how's things with your boyfriend?"

She gave a sullen shrug, still not looking at me. "We broke up."

"I thought you got back together."

"We did, but then…" Another sullen shrug. Still not looking at me.

I studied her profile for a second. She seemed really sad. Sadder than I ever
would've expected from someone I'd always thought was kind of heartless.

I didn't know what to think. She got back together with her boyfriend to prove
she wasn't gay and dumped him again within a week. It made no sense. Had she
been hoping that I might fight for her, as ridiculous as that sounds? Did she
think I'd see her making out with her boyfriend and suddenly draw a dueling
pistol to challenge him for the right of her love? I mean, seriously; what the
fuck was this chick's problem?

She turned to me suddenly, her icy blue eyes narrowed like a cat's. "You and
the freak still together?"

Her attitude was suddenly infuriating. She had no right to call Alice a freak,
not when Alice was the one who loved me and wanted me, and not while I sitting
was there wearing her panties with the taste her pussy still in my mouth. Freak
indeed. So I let my features shift into a sneer and muttered: "Yeah, we are. Is
that a problem?"

She turned away disgustedly. "No," she snorted. "Like I give a fuck."

I stared at her, bristling. How could she possibly be such a bitch?

"Well, if you don't give a fuck," I gritted out, "why the fuck did you ask?"

"Just wondering how much of a slut you are."

I snorted. "More than you could handle, obviously."

"Whatever. You're disgusting."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Lauren." My anger had boiled over and
suddenly I just blurted out what I was really feeling. "I mean, you know you're
a total dyke, right? You should just admit it. It would be less pathetic."

"Shut up," she hissed.

"Whatever. Go fuck your boyfriend again, maybe he'll get it right this time."

She glared at me with tears filling her eyes. "Fuck you."

I looked at her disgustedly and shook my head. "You already did," I said, "and
you fucking loved it."

She was trying not to cry, but she couldn't stop it. Her whole face trembled
and she said: "Fuck you, Bella. You fucking—"

But she broke off with an angry sob and suddenly threw one of her textbooks at
me. The class had been mostly quiet and everyone turned to look as she suddenly
jumped to her feet and wheeled away toward the door, covering her eyes.

"Lauren!" the teacher barked. "Where are you—"

She didn't stop. She barreled out the door and into the corridor. The teacher
moved to follow and then turned to me.

"Miss Swan," the teacher said. "What just happened?"

I was blinking back my own tears and I gestured with a hand angrily. "How the
fuck would I know?" I snapped. "Fucking bitch is crazy."

The class laughed. The teacher didn't, but I never did get in trouble for
swearing.

I sat through the rest of the class in sullen silence, trying to stop thinking
about it. I didn't care if Lauren still had feelings for me. She was too
complicated and I had Alice. Alice was so much simpler. Even with her fucked up
past and fucked up ex. Alice loved me in a way that Lauren never could. And she
was way hotter, too.

I felt better after I'd sorted that in my mind and I remembered that I was
wearing Alice's panties. The thought gave me a strange comfort, so I crossed my
legs under the desk and smiled to myself. None of this highschool stuff
mattered, anyway. One day I was going to be a vampire. I didn't know when and I
didn't know how, but Alice and I were going to be together forever. No one was
ever going to come between us. Not Lauren, not Victoria, not Leah or Jane. No
one.

So I flipped to the back of my notebook and started doodling lovehearts with
Alice's name in them. Decorating them with little flourishes, smiling at how
pretty her name looked. Alice, Alice, Alice.

My love.

—

The next day was Tuesday and I was wearing my baggy black cargoes. I thought
they looked really cool on me, and apparently Leah agreed.

"Cool pants," she said.

We were sitting at the edge of the football field watching cheer practice.
Alice was still on the squad despite her absences, but Lauren was nowhere to be
seen. Jane said that she'd quit last week.

"Thanks," I said. "Alice bought them for me."

Leah nodded. "So have you and Alice talked about a double date yet?"

Actually we hadn't talked about much at all. She'd hung out after school
yesterday until mom got home but our mouths were otherwise engaged.

"Not really," I said.

Leah smirked. "She's really fixated on monogamy, huh?"

"I guess so."

"Yeah, but what do you think?"

"About what?"

"About me and Jane. I mean, we were just starting to bond, weren't we?"

"I guess."

"And suddenly you're back with Alice and you're not even allowed to talk to us?
Sounds like bullshit if you ask me."

She'd said the last part with a mild snort in her voice. She was looking out
across the field, not at me. Honestly, I didn't know what to say. Sure, I'd
love to hang out with Leah and Jane, but I was happy with Alice.

"Well," I said. "I think Alice is just a little scared, that's all. I mean,
we've had problems before, you know."

"You mean with Vicky?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm not Vicky. Neither is Jane. I mean, I thought we were friends?"

It sounded a little weird to hear the word friend from a girl like Leah. She
seemed a little too cool to be concerned with friendship. But it was touching
that she thought so, very touching, so I smiled and gave a little shrug.

"We are," I said.

She raised a perfectly black eyebrow. "So how come you don't even hang out any
more?"

My heart sank a little at that. To be honest, I hadn't even thought about it.
Sure, I'd missed a whole week of school and kept myself almost entirely to my
girlfriend, but it never occurred to me that I was avoiding anyone.

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't even realize." Then I gave an embarrassed chuckle.
"I didn't know you even liked me."

She smiled a sexy smile and placed a hand on my knee. Good thing I was wearing
pants; the material dulled the tingles.

"Of course I like you," she told me.

She caressed my knee gently and I frowned at the hand. Mostly I was confused.
I'd never cheat on Alice, of course—not again—and it was puzzling to me that
anyone would want me to. Victoria's attempts had made sense; she was trying to
hurt Alice. But why would Leah even suggest it? Sure, she'd been fucking me for
a couple weeks while I was on the rebound, but I assumed she was just using me,
just having a bit of fun with a human for a change. And now that I was with
Alice again I thought it was all cool, back to normal, no hard feelings.

But could it be possible that Leah actually liked me?

She noticed my nervousness and removed her hand. "Look," she said. "All I'm
saying is you shouldn't let her run your life. Alice isn't the kind of girl who
knows what's best for you. Or even for herself. Trust me. She'll eat you alive
if you're not careful and then tear herself apart over it."

"What do you mean?"

"Haven't you noticed by now that she's kind of crazy?"

"She's not crazy. She's just…quirky."

Leah smiled as if trying not to laugh. Then she leaned to me slightly.
"Listen," she said. "I can appreciate you wanna be loyal to your girlfriend. If
you wanna be friends, I'm cool with that. But I won't lie. I like you. You're
one of the nicest, sluttiest, tastiest girls I've ever met. There's no need for
you to limit yourself to just Alice. You don't even have to date her if you
don't want."

Her words made my stomach tighten in excitement. My self-esteem had never been
particularly high, but by now I was beginning to realize that when it came to
vampires I truly was a catch. Nice to look at, easy to manipulate, quick to go
down. Liberal with my body and blood. I had a flair for depravity and yet a
strange innocence at the same time which kept me from being nasty or
disgusting. A perfect little fang-banger.

But no matter how much Leah liked me and admired my sluttier qualities, there
was another girl out there who loved me more, and her name was Alice. So I
shook my head and said:

"Alice is my soulmate."

"You actually believe that?"

"Of course.

"What if vampire's don't have souls?"

That stung a little, but since I had no idea what a soul actually was or what
qualified a person to have one, I just shrugged. "I don't care," I said. "It's
a figure of speech. I love her. That's all that matters."

Leah looked at me long enough to make me wonder if I'd said something wrong.
She seemed to be searching for something and apparently she found it, because
she smiled. "Ally's one lucky kid."

I chuckled and shook my head. "No, she's not."

"I think she is," Leah said. "I think she's very lucky."

By now cheer practice was breaking up. Leah looked at me for a few seconds more
and then she stood up and smoothed her skirt. It fit really nice over her ass
and I mentally slapped myself for looking.

"Think about it, alright? Jane feels the same way. We could have a lot of fun
before we turn you. And even then it'll be a while before we get sick of you.
You know what I'm saying?"

I didn't answer. Alice was already jogging over toward me and I rose just as
she sailed giggling into my arms. Leah gave me one last look and walked out to
meet Jane. Alice kissed me.

"Hey baby," she said. "Mind if I shower at your place?"

Her arms were around my waist and her smile made me forget all about Leah's
offer. "Only if you let me do your back," I said. Then I kissed her and added:
"And everything else."

—

But I didn't forget for long. I didn't actually consider it, but over the next
couple days I decided that it was good to have options, just in case. I knew
that Alice loved me and that Alice was serious about me and her for all
eternity, but let's face it; she wasn't the most stable girlfriend on the
planet. There was still her psychotic ex out there to deal with and there was
no way of knowing how long her lust for my blood would last. I didn't think it
would happen, but if she ever did stop loving me, it was nice to know that Leah
and Jane would be happy to accept me into the coven.

There was another cheer practice Thursday afternoon. Alice drove me home
afterwards and I helped her shower like I always did, washing her hair like a
handmaiden, dragging the loofa all over her gorgeous body. We made love under
the water and then we settled on the couch to watch TV.

Alice was laying with her head in my lap and I was toying with her hair. She
sighed and said:

"I love when you pet me."

I leaned down and kissed her. She smiled up at me for a moment and then she
frowned playfully.

"You know, you haven't told me you love me today."

I chuckled, still petting her hair. "Yes I did."

"It doesn't count in the morning."

I smiled. I hadn't been aware of that—and I distinctly remembered saying it at
school at least twice—but rather than argue, I just kissed her again and said:
"I love you, Alice."

She smiled happily. "I love you, too."

We fell silent for a little bit. She'd turned her face to the TV, but there was
nothing interesting on, and after a while she heaved another sigh.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"Sometimes I miss Leah and Jane."

"What do you mean?"

Another sigh. "I don't know," she said. "We used to be very close. But then I
met you and I couldn't even picture being with anyone else. It's a shame, in
some ways. We used to have a lot of fun together."

We fell silent again. I continued stroking her hair, so fine and soft, like a
little kitten in my lap. It was rare for Alice to talk about any of her
feelings that weren't focused on me or my body, and I felt like I should prompt
her to continue. So I said:

"What kind of fun?"

She gave a little giggle. Her body was curled up on the couch and the giggle
made my lap shudder. "You know," she said, "fun. Group sex. That kind of thing.
It was fun to come up with different combinations. Sometimes Jane and Leah,
sometimes Vicky and Rose. Sometimes all four or a combo of three. Sometimes
with Esme. Sometimes with humans.

"It's weird how quickly I changed. I always thought that it was natural to have
sex with your friends. Proper, even. Like an extra-affectionate hug. I mean, if
you love someone, what's wrong with expressing that physically? But I guess it
was always wrong. It's hard to justify coming home from a date and having sex
with someone else, isn't it?"

I was still stroking her hair but I stopped as she turned her head to look up
at me. I'd known that Alice had always had a strange intimacy with her sisters,
but for some reason it had never bothered me. It didn't even bother me now. She
was looking up with her huge and pretty eyes, and she seemed to be searching
for acceptance, so I gave her a smile and stroked her cheek.

"Well, I don't know," I said. "I mean, you're a vampire. You're immortal. You
drink blood. It's unreasonable to expect you to be a normal person, you know?"

She was relieved but she narrowed her eyes playfully. "Are you saying I'm a
freak?"

"I'm saying you're unique," I told her. "You're the most special woman I've
ever met."

"But does it bother you that I used to…"

"I don't judge you for your past, Alice. I love you."

A beautiful smile lit her face and she sat up. "Thank you, baby," she said. "I
love you too."

She kissed me and then she wrapped my arm around her shoulders and snuggled
into me. I was quite proud of myself for how I handled that—I'd almost seemed
mature—so I tightened my arm around her and reflected on what a good girlfriend
I was.

"Do you miss them too?" she asked.

I wasn't sure what she was talking about. "Who?"

"Leah and Jane."

"Oh. Um, I don't know. Kind of, I guess. It was fun to, you know…"

I trailed off, wishing I never said it, but she only giggled.

"Oh, I know," she said. "They're fun girls."

I chuckled awkwardly. I was perfectly fine with my girlfriend's history of
kinky group sex, but I didn't have the same excuses as she did, so I felt I
ought to be a little ashamed. The context was completely different. I wasn't a
vampire, for instance. I was a regular girl and regular girls really shouldn't
do those things.

"You know, I've been thinking," she said. "About what Jane said."

Again, I wasn't quite sure what she was talking about. "About a double date?"

"No, about me not owning you," she said, then she straightened up to look at
me. "Because she's right. I mean, I don't want you to think you're not allowed
to have any friends other than me. Just because I'm totally and hopelessly
obsessed with you, doesn't mean you have to spend every single second of your
life in my company. If you wanted to hang out with Jane or Leah sometime…"

But I was shaking my head. It was nice to know my girlfriend was gracious
enough to allow me a life outside the relationship, but I wasn't really
interested in anything but her. So I cupped her cheek and said: "The only
person I want to be with is you, Alice."

"I know," she said, rubbing her cheek against my hand. "I just don't want you
to get sick of me."

That might've been a valid concern for some couples, but vampire's don't gain
weight, so it was hard to imagine losing interest in an ass like Alice's. So I
placed a quick kiss on her lips.

"That's never going to happen," I told her.

She smiled and flickered her eyes over my face. "I hope not."

"It won't."

Her smile widened and she kissed me quickly. "Listen," she said. "I trust Jane
and Leah, but…"

"But what?"

"Well, they really like you. And they're still kind of addicted. So if they
ever make a try at you…"

"I'll tell them to go fuck themselves," I interrupted, "because I have the most
beautiful, sexy, amazing girl right here."

A radiant smile broke out over her face, like the sun coming out from clouds,
and I leaned forward to kiss her. She deepened the kiss, moaning, and suddenly
she broke it.

"Hey, you know what?" she said suddenly.

It took me a moment to shift gears. "What?"

"I think we should go on a double date," she declared.

I blinked. Now, when she said 'date,' did she mean group sex or an actual date?
Because I'd been a little confused about the two lately.

"You do?" I asked.

"Sure," she grinned. "We could always be alone afterwards, and they're still my
sisters. It'll be fun, what do you think? Ooh—we could go dancing!"

"But I don't dance."

"You do this weekend."

"I do?"

"Yep!"

"I thought you don't own me?"

She giggled and cupped my face in her hands. "Oh, I own you, baby," she said.
"I own every inch of your sexy ass…"

I couldn't argue with that; especially after she covered my mouth with her own
and stuck her tongue in my mouth. In any case, it was nice to know that she'd
meant a literal date. I had nothing against group sex with other couples, of
course, but at this point in our relationship I felt that we should focus on
each other.

And focus we did. Alice moaned and snaked a hand up my top. I held the hand
against my breast as she squeezed it, and we probably would've ended up having
sex right there on the couch if mom hadn't come home.

Normally my amorous girlfriend would be gone by the time mom got home, but
lately we'd been arranging for her to catch us together in innocent situations,
so that she'd get used to seeing us together. Alice had been hanging out every
day after school and every day mom would come home and find her beside me on
the couch, watching TV or playing video games, pretending to be just an
ordinary girl. Mom still hadn't really talked to me since raiding my room and
finding a vibrator, but she seemed to be softening slightly to Alice. But only
slightly. She still didn't approve and she still somehow seemed certain that
Alice was even worse for me than the facts as she knew them would suggest.

It wouldn't do to let her catch us making out, however, so it was lucky that
Alice heard the car. "Fuck," she said, unhanding my breast reluctantly. "Have
you ever considered moving out?"

I felt a spike of excitement, wondering if she was serious, but then mom came
in before I could ask.

"Hi, mom," I said. "Me and Alice were just watching TV."

I just hoped my lips weren't too swollen.

"Hm," mom said, eyeing the two of us suspiciously. "Is she staying for dinner
again?"

I looked at Alice and looked at mom. "Um, is that okay?"

"As long as her mother knows where she is."

Alice was sitting there with her hands in her lap, innocent as you please.
"Thanks, Mrs Swan," she said. "Can I help Bella cook?"

Her voice was as beautiful as wind chimes but mom only glowered at her. "Hmm,"
she said, almost growling it, then turned to me. "Just don't make a mess,
alright? Have you got all your homework done?"

Actually, no, none of it. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd done
homework. I felt bad about lying, but I didn't want to upset mom more than she
was, so it was in a good cause. "Most of it," I said. "But we've got till the
end of the week, so…"

"Tomorrow's Friday, Bella," mom told me.

"Is it? Oh."

Alice had been watching the exchange. Now she smiled. "We'll finish studying
tonight," she chimed in. "Is it okay if I stay a little late?"

Mom's plan had backfired, and more than she knew; if Alice stayed late we
certainly wouldn't be studying. But mom nodded. "As long as your mom knows,"
she said.

"Thanks," Alice said, "I'll call her later. Hey, guess what? Me and Bella are
going dancing on the weekend."

She'd said it with a casual good-natured excitement, but mom looked at her as
if she'd said we'd be going to a rock concert followed by a Satanist rally.

"Is that so?" she said.

"Yep," Alice giggled, undaunted. "We're SOOO excited!"

"Bella hates dancing."

Alice looked at me woundedly—a talented actress—and I said to mom: "Well, I
don't hate it. I just never really tried it."

"Don't worry, I'll teach her," Alice added, with another well-timed giggle.
"It's going to be awesome."

—

Alice informed Jane and Leah of our decision at lunch the next day. Jane was
very excited and immediately she and Alice began bickering over gets to wear
pink because it would be sooo stupid if they showed up looking like twins. They
each put forth a convincing case toward their claim on the color, but neither
could come to an agreement on who truly owned it, and finally they turned to
Leah and I for a ruling. We'd been sitting there silently chewing our
sandwiches and it seemed we were the male-equivalents of our respective
relationships because I don't think either of us particularly gave a fuck what
they were wearing so long as they took it off at some point. In the end it was
decided by Alice that pink was stupid anyway and it suited Jane because she was
stupid too. When they asked Leah and I what we'd be wearing we answered simply
that we'd be wearing black. We didn't argue about it, either.

It was a long drive to Seattle, but at Alice's manic speeds, we got there soon
enough. It was a private salsa club called La Rasa, and I was so nervous that I
could hardly walk in my heels. Purple heels, to match my purple dress. Black
hadn't suited Alice's outfit apparently, and it was decreed that we'd make a
cuter couple if I wore purple. So I wore purple. But it was a beautiful dress,
so I didn't complain. Loose fitting, short, and with a plunging back. A soft
lavender color. Alice was wearing a shimmering cocktail dress of pale blue
satin, and I wasn't exactly sure how my own dress complimented hers, but she
seemed to be satisfied, so I didn't mention it.

Leah too seemed to have been forced into color coordination with her
girlfriend. Jane was in pink, as was her right, and Leah was in red. They were
already on the dancefloor when we went over. Jane and Alice exchanged a dozen
air kisses, flattered each other on how cute they looked, and then turned the
flattery on me and Leah. Alice kissed Leah on the lips, but I reminded myself
that close friends are allowed to do that, and then Leah kissed me on the lips.
We weren't close friends, but being kissed on the lips by a sultry brunette in
a red dress wasn't the worst thing that had ever happened to me, so I let it
slide.

Meanwhile we were getting bumped and jostled by other couples on the dancefloor
and Alice and I were obliged to retreat to the bar. Alice presented the
bartender with an ID that had to have been fake and ordered herself a Mai Tai
and a soft drink for me, since I was underage. We carried our drinks to Leah
and Jane's table and I eyed Alice's Mai Tai jealously. It looked like a
fishbowl of pink slush, complete with a little umbrella sticking out of it, and
even though I wasn't a fan of alcohol, I had to admit I would've loved to try
one. Alice noticed my longing look and giggled before passing it over and
telling me not to let anyone see.

It was pretty good, although I didn't discover any actual alcohol in it. Not
enough to inspire me to dance, anyway, and for while I was content to look out
over the dancefloor from our table on the upper balcony. Jane and Leah had come
over and chatted for a while but now they were back on the dancefloor, easily
the hottest couple in the club. They weren't the only same-sex couple, either.
There were quite few a girls dancing together and even a couple guys. The girl
were in dresses of every color and cut, no two alike, and the guys wore shirts
of satin or silk. It was a pretty swanky club and everyone danced very well.

Alice had been to the bar again and this time she bought me back a rum and
coke. I noticed the alcohol in this one and by the time it was gone a pleasant
warmth was flowing through me and I was ready to try dancing.

Alice took me out onto the floor and I think I managed tolerably well. I didn't
know the difference between a cha cha and a chicken wing, but it seemed
acceptable to simply two-step around the edge of the dancefloor. Alice led me
more drinks and soon I was dancing with Leah and Jane, laughing, flirting,
slapping Jane's hand when it cupped my butt, ignoring the tingle between my
legs as I slow danced with Leah. It was a rumba, she said, which meant she was
allowed to make my knees weak as she stroked my back and stared into my eyes.

The evening began to get a little hazy and eventually I found myself sitting at
the table with Leah, sipping another rum and coke, as Alice and Jane twirled
and swirled around the dancefloor. They looked like professionals and several
people had actually stopped dancing to watch them. I was watching too. I'd seen
a couple episodes of Dancing with the Stars, so I knew that a couple didn't
actually have to be in love with each other, but I couldn't help noticing the
way they kept smiling and looking into each other's eyes. It was mystifying, in
a way. How much history between them? How many times had they made love
together? Did all that really go away just because Alice had fallen for me? Or
was it all still there beneath the surface, a subtle connection that
transcended time and separate relationships?

Leah had noticed me staring. "They make a cute couple, huh?" she asked.

I tore my eyes away and chuckled. "Yeah," I said. They made more than a cute
couple; they made an awesome couple. Alice had talked about coordinating her
outfit with mine, but her pale blue was a direct contrast to her partner's pale
pink. They looked more like a couple together than they did with me or Leah.

Maybe the alcohol was hindering my ability to hide my expressions, because Leah
smirked.

"Jealous?" she said, loudly over the thump of music.

"No."

"Did Alice ever tell you about her and Jane?"

I shook my head. The movement made me slightly dizzy.

"They were together a long time," she said. "Before me, before Rose, before
Vicky. Jane was Alice's first and Alice was Jane's first. Six hundred years
they've been together. Sometimes friends, sometimes lovers, but always close.
Always sisters."

I frowned slightly. That didn't sound right for some reason, but my mind was a
little cloudy and I couldn't pinpoint why. Didn't Alice say Victoria was her
first?

Leah was looking out over the dancefloor where Alice and Jane twirled about
with their faces flushed and shining, their hair and skirts flaring in the
twist of their perfect hip work.

"This is the longest they've been without fucking each other in centuries,"
Leah said. "Jane tries to hide it, but she really misses her. That's why she's
so mean sometimes and why she was trying to get you to hook up with Lauren.
Deep down she's probably even more jealous of you than Vicky. It's like she
lost her best friend."

Again, it was probably the alcohol, but I felt really sad for some reason. I
almost cried. Poor Jane! It must be terrible to lose sexual privileges with a
feisty little thing like Alice. How on earth does she carry on?

I turned to Leah. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do you miss Alice?"

Leah shrugged, almost as if she was trying to hide something. "I was never as
close to Alice as the others," she said. Then she sipped her drink, even though
she couldn't possibly be thirsty. "But yeah," she added. "I miss her."

It was sad to see even a hint of emotional vulnerability in a woman as
confident as Leah. I felt really guilty, but more than that I felt like I had
to pee. So I stood up, not really stumbling.

"I gotta go to the bathroom."

Leah smiled. "Human's often do."

I went. It was a private club so the bathroom was empty, but while I was
washing my hands, the door swung open and someone came in. It was Jane.

"Whoo!" she cheered loudly. "Hey, human," she giggled. "You having fun?"

I swiped a paper towel and dried my hands. "Sure," I said. "I love dancing."

"Me too," she said, sauntering up behind me in her baby pink cocktail dress.
She wrapped her arms around my middle and propped her chin on my shoulder.
"It's so nice to finally get my hands on Alice again."

I froze. I suppose it was somewhat normal to hug one's friends, but the way she
was looking at me in the mirror didn't seem quite so platonic.

"What are you doing?" I asked meekly.

She smirked. Her lips were painted candy pink. "Oh, nothing," she said. "I was
just thinking. You and Alice have any plans after tonight?"

"Um, not really."

"Well, there's no reason the fun has to end on the dancefloor," she said. She
gave a sultry giggle and started swaying side to side, her arms still locked
around my waist. "We could go back to our place. Hm? What do you think? You
ever been with three chicks at once? It's awesome, trust me. So many things we
could try…"

My head was humming softly. "Um…"

"Come on, it'll be fun," she whispered into my ear. "I mean, it's not cheating
if you do it together, right?"

"I don't know if Alice would like it."

"Yeah right. I was groping her up all over the dancefloor. She wants it as bad
as you do, trust me."

I was shaking my head, and I finally had the presence of mind to disentangle
myself from her arms and step away. "No, she doesn't," I said, flustered. "And
I don't. Either."

She smirked. "No?"

"No," I affirmed with a nod. "We're soulmates."

Jane chuckled as if this was cute. "So? I'm not telling you to break up with
her. Even soulmates are allowed to have a little fun, you know. I mean, why
waste the opportunity? We're all in the mood. Don't tell me you're not horny."

I shook my head again, my body softly throbbing. "I don't…"

"Listen," she said. "Just mention it to Alice, okay? Let her decide."

"But I don't—"

Jane had me backed up against the counter, and even though she was shorter than
me, her smirk somehow managed to silence me. She put her hands on my hips, as
if she wanted to dance right there in the restroom. "Come on," she said. "It
could be so much fun…"

I tried to move away, but I only gasped as her hands slid across the fabric of
my dress and cupped my boobs. I panicked—foreign woman grabbing my breasts. I
couldn't think of anything to do other than be excited, and before anything
came to me, my pink assailant leaned to my lips and placed on them a sexy kiss.

I wasn't sure how long it lasted. I probably would've began resisting at some
point, but I was saved from using my own will by a quick blast of music as the
bathroom door swung open.

Horrified that it would be Alice, I broke away and looked—but it was only two
women off the dancefloor. Jane's hands were still clutching my tits and the
little blonde's body was pressed against mine. The two women stood there, arms
folded, eyebrows arched blandly. The sight of a lesbian situation didn't seem
to freak them out, but it was clear they weren't impressed.

"We're just friends," I blurted out.

One of them snorted. Jane giggled, took my hand, and lead me out.

I had no idea how I was supposed to feel about what just happened, and I didn't
really have time to think about it before we were back at the table. Alice was
sitting with Leah and she was sipping something from a slender glass. She
smiled brightly when she saw me and stood up. Jane was still holding my hand
but it didn't seem to disconcert her.

"Hey, there's my baby," she cooed, taking my arm away from Jane. "Did baby do
her business like a good girl?"

I frowned uncomfortably. I'm human; not a cat.

Alice giggled. "Come on, I saved the last dance for you," she said, tugging me
toward the dancefloor. "Then we can get out of here. I'm so horny!"

The salsa music was loud and cheerful and soon me and Alice were shuffling in
place at the edge of the dancefloor. I was still confused from what happened in
the bathroom and I didn't know if I should say anything. I certainly wasn't
going to try and talk my girlfriend into group sex. I wasn't even interested.
Really. But I couldn't help being disappointed with myself for just standing
there and letting Jane touch me.

Alice seemed to have noticed my distracted expression. "Is something wrong,
baby?" she asked.

"I don't know," I said. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course. What's the matter?"

I swallowed, nervous all the sudden. I stopped dancing and spoke loudly over
the music. "Jane kissed me," I said. "In the bathroom."

She'd been holding my waist and swaying her hips in rhythm with the music. Now
she slowly stopped, as if winding down. She stood there absolutely still,
looking at me with a careful lack of expression. I looked back helplessly.

"I didn't kiss her back," I said.

She frowned. "Did you want to?"

"Of course not," I said instantly, and I meant it. But then I remembered
something else had happened that I should mention, too. "But, um…"

"What?"

"She also groped me up a little."

"And you just stood there?"

"I didn't know what to do."

The helplessness in my voice softened her a little. She sighed and ran a hand
through her hair. The other couples on the floor kept dancing, some of them
glancing over curiously. Alice looked at me, not quite sadly, but not really
anything else, either.

"She was trying to seduce you, wasn't she?"

"Not just me," I said. "You, too."

Alice shook her head. With each shake she seemed to get angrier and finally she
blew out a breath from her nostrils. "That bitch," she said. "That fucking
bitch!"

I was pretty sure she didn't mean me, and I completely agreed, but mostly I was
concerned with how she felt about me. "Are you mad at me?" I asked.

Alice turned to me and smiled suddenly, taking my hands in hers. "No, baby,"
she said. "Not you."

I sighed in relief. Alice held my hands and looked at the other dancers
thoughtfully, but I doubt she was admiring them for technique. Then she turned
back to me, still holding my hands. Her expression was almost meek.

"Did you want to do it?" she asked.

At first I didn't even know what she meant, and then I realized. The alcohol in
my system prompted me to frown indignantly, almost as if she had accused me of
something. "No," I said. "Of course not."

She smiled and petted my hands soothingly. "It's okay, baby, you can be
honest," she said. "I won't get angry."

But I only frowned harder. "I don't, Alice," I said. "All I want is you."

It was utterly honest, and she could tell. Her eyes fluttered and she said:
"Really?"

I tightened my hold on her hands. "Yes," I said. "You're the only woman for
me." And then, in search of something special to say that would reassure her, I
added: "My pussy belongs to you, remember?"

Alice was delighted; she covered her mouth with her hand and almost cried. "Oh
god," she said. "That means so much to me, baby. You have no idea."

I was a little miffed that my fidelity seemed like such a gift to her. I know
I've made a mistake or two in the past, but I'm not the whore of Babylon.
Still, it was nice she was happy and even nicer that she knew I wasn't
interested in any one but her, so I cupped her cheek and leaned to kiss her.

It was poor form to make out in the middle of a dancefloor, but no one tapped
us on the shoulder or squirted us with a waterhose. Alice kissed me back,
moaning, pulling me down toward her, and then suddenly she broke away. She was
grinning widely and her eyes were sparkling with mischief.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"I think we should do it."

Again, it took me a moment to realize what she was talking about, and even when
I did realize I was confused. I blinked and shook my head, as if maybe I hadn't
heard right. "Excuse me?"

"Well, why not? I mean, if we both love each other and if we're both involved,
it's not like it's cheating. Besides, they're still my sisters. They'll be your
sisters too someday."

"Are you serious?"

Alice giggled, her mood completely morphed. There was no sadness in her eyes,
no bitterness, no anger. Just mischief. "Totally serious," she said. "In fact,
it'll be good for us. I've done a lot of group stuff before and I want you to
have those same experiences. I want you to know absolutely for certain that
it's me you want to be with."

I shook my head. I was kind of drunk and the idea of group sex seem like a
hassle and a little unnecessary. Besides, I knew in my heart that I loved Alice
and Alice was all I wanted, so I said: "I already know, Alice. I don't need
to…"

I trailed off as she cupped my cheek. "I know, baby," she said. "That's why
it's up to you. I won't force you, but I really think this could be a big step
for us. I'm not sure how, but I feel it. I think if we could do this and still
totally and completely love each other afterwards…I think that would be really
great, don't you? It'll prove how strong our feelings are."

Her words and how she said then swayed me a little. It was hard to put a self-
righteous spin on group sex with another couple, but if it was an experience we
shared, together, then maybe—

"So," Alice said. "What do you think?"

I looked at her. She was smiling and she looked excited. So I gave a little
shrug. "I'll do whatever you want, Alice" I said. "You know I will."

"I want you to decide."

Her hands were at my waist and she was looking up at me expectantly. All I
wanted was her to be happy, and I remembered how she'd dance with Jane and how
Leah had said they hadn't been together in so long, and I remembered how even
Leah missed Alice, and before I realized it I was shrugging. "Okay," I said.
"If you want."

Alice giggled and bounced on the spot happily. "Are you sure?" she asked. "You
don't have to if you don't want, but I really think it would be awesome for us.
Not just us, but all of us. I love my sister's so much. It would be so great if
I could share that with you."

Her sudden shift in attitude was slightly baffling, but her excitement was
contagious, and let's face it; it's not like an orgy with three sexy vampire
chicks was gonna kill me. Unless they got carried away when they bit me, that
is. So I nodded and said: "Anything you want, Alice."

Alice grinned so widely I had to question her sanity. Then she giggled, took my
hand, and lead me back to the table.

Leah and Jane were making out in the corner of the booth like common club
skanks. The sight made me horny and I felt slightly better about the whole
thing. They didn't seem to notice us approach the table, but instead of
clearing our throats politely, Alice grabbed one of the drinks off the table
and tossed it's contends directly into Jane's face. They jumped apart like
coupling cats. Several people at near by tables looked over, but no one called
the police.

"I told you to keep your hands off my girlfriend!" Alice said fiercely, still
clutching my hand.

It seemed like an odd way to extend and offer for group sex, and Jane seemed to
agree. "I guess that's a no, then," she said, wiping her face. Leah simply sat
back in the booth smiling.

"No, it's a yes," Alice said, causing Jane to look up in surprise. Alice
smirked. "But you should've got my permission first," she said. "Bella belongs
to me. You can only borrow her if you ask nicely."

Jane smirked, feeling the spirit of things. "May I?"

Alice turned to me, all politeness. "May she, baby?"

I looked between the two of them. It was my cue to say something, but I didn't
have their flair for playfulness, so I just said: "Um, okay."

Alice turned back to Jane and nodded. "Yes, you may," she said.

And Jane did. She wrapped her arms around me and put her tongue into my mouth.
Right in front of Alice. It was an odd sensation, but hot too, and then she
giggled, turned to Alice, and wrapped her into a similar kiss. I blinked,
watching them. Then I looked at Leah. Leah chuckled, finished her drink, and
stood up.

"Well, I guess we're done dancing," she said. "Let's get out of here."

—

It was proposed to get a hotel room, but no one had thought to bring along any
toys, so eventually it was decided to rendezvous at the Cullen house.

My excitement grew during the drive, my head pleasantly clouded with alcohol,
my body warm with the promise of what we were about to do. My first orgy. It
was something I'd never thought I'd do in my lifetime, and suddenly I was
thankful for Alice's change of heart. She filled the silence by talking about
how awesome it was going to be to share this with me, and I was starting to
share her perspective. After all, love wasn't about sex, it was out hearts and
emotions and stuff like that. Sex was part of it, but it was perfectly fine to
share the sex part with other couples—especially if you're drunk and your
girlfriend was into it.

Jane's car remained behind us the whole way and as soon as we arrived at the
house we went directly upstairs. I had no idea concerning the protocol of these
situations, but Jane and Alice seemed to know what to do; they latched onto
each other's faces with their mouths and tumbled onto the bed. There appeared
to be quite a bit of repression between them, considering how eagerly their
hands were all over their dresses and exposed legs. It was so hot that I
actually stood and stared for a while until Leah turned me by shoulders and
kissed me. Then she winked and climbed onto the bed, joining her sisters.

I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there, almost shyly, and watched. By
now Alice and Jane were kneeling in the bed and Alice had pulled off Jane's
dress and taken one of her nipples in her mouth. The blonde was wearing a thong
of pink lace and she smirked at me as Alice sucked her tit. Leah then pulled
Alice's face away and captured her lips in a kiss. Jane hiked up Alice's dress
and started caressing her pussy, making her moan as Leah popped one of her
boobs from the neckline of her dress, squeezing it, squishing it. Finally Jane
lifted Alice's dress up over her head and tossed it aside. Leah had pulled off
her own dress and then they were all naked except for their panties, Jane in
pink, Alice in blue, Leah in red. All thongs. All unbelievably sexy.

I stood there, staring, my pussy throbbing between my legs. They laid Alice
down and began to double-team her, Jane at her mouth and Leah at her breasts.
It was so beautiful my vision blurred and I almost didn't want to join in. They
were so perfect, with their perfect bodies and perfect rhythm, their little
moans and gasps. Alice's eyes were closed and when she opened she saw me
standing there. She smiled, a high blush in her cheeks, and then she opened her
legs, an obvious invitation.

Yet still I hesitated. I felt like an intruder, a mortal among goddesses. But
they giggled and called me over and I climbed onto the bed and bent my lips to
Alice's pussy as Leah and Jane massaged her tits and took turns tonguing her.

That was just the beginning, but it was enough to break the ice. After we
triple-teamed Alice, we triple-teamed Jane and then triple-teamed Leah, and
finally it was my turn. Six hands roamed my body, stroking it into something
soft and supple, while six lips and three tongues kissed and licked at my
breasts, my legs, my pussy. I had a tongue in my vagina, a tongue in my mouth,
and a pair of lips fastened to my one of my nipples, and by the time I'd come I
was pretty sure that it wasn't an experience I'd ever regret.

Things slowed down after that initial exchange and soon Alice and Jane were
discussing all the things they'd like to do. Leah and I didn't seem to have any
say in the matter, we simply waited for instruction or opportunity. I'd always
suspected that Jane was a dominant type, but Leah was surprisingly passive.
Almost as passive as me. Finally it became plain that Alice and Jane wanted to
watch me and Leah while they did themselves with vibrators. Leah didn't object
and I certainly didn't either; she took my face and laid me down and soon Alice
and Jane were sitting side by side against the headboard, legs open with
vibrators poking from their soaking pussies.

After that was partner swapping. Jane did me with a strap-on while Alice went
down on Leah. Alice then licked my pussy juice off the strap-on before pushing
Jane onto her back and climbing on top. Leah straddled Jane's face backward and
from the expression that crossed her face it appeared that Jane wasted little
time in slipping her tongue inside her. Leah squirmed on Jane's face gently and
then she started tonguing Alice as Alice bounced on the strap-on. And left to
my own initiative, I indulged myself with a brisk fingering as I watched.

Eventually it was all over and we collapsed into our original pairs and
cuddled.

"Wow," I said. "That was awesome."

Alice giggled and held me. "I'm glad you have fun," she said, placing a kiss on
my hair.

"Yeah, you're pretty good for a human," Jane said. She was sitting up in the
bed and Leah was behind her with her arms around her. "Now, how about a bit of
blood?"

"No," Alice said sternly. "Bella's blood really does belong to me. That's one
thing I'll never share."

"Bummer," Jane said. "But I guess sex is good too. It's just a shame Vicky and
Rose aren't here. Vicky's amazing in a group situation."

I didn't liked the mention of the redhead, and I didn't think Alice did either,
but neither of us said anything, and before Jane could speak again there was
the sound of a car outside crunching up the driveway. A bright headlight washed
up against the front of the house, passing over the window, and went away
again. The car stopped.

Alice raised up slightly. "Who could that be?"

Jane hopped off the bed and parted the curtain slightly. A sudden grin broke
over her face but she said: "Uh oh."

I already had a bad feeling. I didn't like strangers and I liked them even less
when I was totally naked and in someone's else house. Maybe it just the doctor
guy, coming home late.

Alice sat up, slipping out of my arms. "What is it?" she said.

Jane only chuckled still looking out the window. "You might wanna put some
clothes on, Ally," she suggested.

I sat up in the bed, pulling the sheet over me. I looked at Leah but she only
smiled and laid back on the pillow, hands behind her head, naked and uncaring.

"Oh shit," Alice said, and my head swung toward her. She was looking out the
window and I pulled the sheet higher over my body. "What is it?"

Leah chuckled. "Speak of the devil and she shall appear."

I had no idea what that meant.

Jane giggled and clapped her hands excitedly. "Oh my god," she said, "this is
gonna be hilarious."

Alice let the curtain fall and turned to me. Her face had gone pale and she
didn't seem to know what to do.

"What?" I demanded. "What the hell is it?"

No one answered, but I didn't have to wait long before I found out. I was on
the verge of panic when suddenly the bedroom door swung open. My heart jumped
into my throat and gliding into the room, smirk first, was none other than the
redhead.

Victoria.

No one spoke. We all stared. The redhead had been trailed by the blonde and for
a second they stood there just within the door, sweeping their eyes over the
room. The redhead looked at the dresses on the floor, the underwear, the sex
toys. She swept her eyes over the four naked women. Leah tossed her chin in
greeting, completely casual. Jane was grinning excitedly with her hands laced
behind her back. Alice stood by the window, lost and unsure. And I was
clutching the sheet at my chest, trying to keep my heart from expiring.

Victoria had been carrying a small suitcase and now she placed it on the floor.
She put her hands on her hips, smiled, and reviewed the room once more. "Well,"
she said. "It seems I've missed all the fun."

Her voice sent a chill through my naked body and I stared at her as if I didn't
know what was going on. But there was no mistake. The infamous redhead had
returned from Paris.

Merde.

—

***** Chapter 19 *****
—

Chapter 19:

—

"So," the redhead said, spreading her arms for a hug. "Who will be the first to
greet me?"

Jane giggled and ran into her open arms. "Vicky!" she squealed, wrapping the
woman into a hug and twisting her about like rag doll. "Oooh, I missed you so
much!"

I was still frozen under the sheet, clutching it to my chest. Alice came over
and slipped under the sheet beside me, hiding her naked body meekly. She
glanced at me and her face seemed scared and unsure. The redhead spared us both
a smirk over Jane's shoulder and then patted Jane's naked back.

"I missed you too, Jane dear," she said. "How have you been keeping?"

"Oh, same old, same old. Hi, Rose!"

The blonde was leaning a hip against the dresser, quietly in the background.
She was wearing a white sunhat with a red ribbon around the crown and a white
sundress of flowing silk. She smiled at Jane's greeting and nodded. Jane was
still hanging from the redhead's neck.

"Rosalie, don't be so cold," the redhead said. "Give your sister a kiss."

The blonde sighed and unleaned from the dresser. She removed her sunhat, but
she seemed to be moving too slow for Jane, who ran into her arms, naked and
giggling, and wrapped her into a kiss. It wasn't really a sisterly kiss. The
hat fell silently to the carpet and a moan rose from both blondes. They weren't
shy with their tongues and when Jane grabbed Rosalie's ass under her dress I
saw a flash of white panties.

The redhead had hardly glanced at them. "Leah," she greeted, smiling at the
woman on the bed. "You're looking as lovely as ever."

Leah was propped up against the headboard, one knee drawn up, forearm resting
on it. Completely naked. She smiled at the redhead's greeting but she didn't
answer. Her eyes flickered over the other woman's body and she seemed to be
waiting for something. The redhead was wearing a maroon skirtsuit and tall
heels. She met Leah's eyes for just a second, and then she turned her
attention—and her smirk—to me and Alice where we lay huddled under the sheet.

"And if it isn't the young Miss Swan," she said with fake friendliness. "I see
you've patched things up with Alice. So nice when true love triumphs, isn't it?
Gives hope to the rest of us."

No one answered. My heart felt like a lump of ice in my chest and Alice's body
felt cold where it was nestled against me under the sheet. I was naked and I
hated being so helpless. My head was thumping, I was still drunk, and I didn't
know what to do. I couldn't slap her, I couldn't storm out. I couldn't do
anything but stare at her in dull anger as she smiled, sighed, and sat on the
bed beside Leah.

"Such an exhausting flight," she said, her eyes roaming Leah's body. "How
wonderful it is to be home again. I've missed you all so much."

As she spoke she started touching Leah. She slid a hand between her thighs and
caressed. Leah smiled as if this was what she'd been hoping for and made no
move to resist or respond. Another moan came from across the room and when I
looked I saw that Jane was pulling Rosalie's sundress over her head. The tall
blonde wore no bra underneath and her breasts were perfectly sized and
perfectly shaped. Like a sculpture. I only had a glimpse before Jane's hands
covered them.

"Did you miss me too, Alice?" Victoria asked. She was looking across the bed at
where me and Alice cowered under the sheet, and her hand was moving between
Leah's thighs. She was fingering her. "You left so abruptly," the redhead went
on. "Why, you hardly even said goodbye. And now I return and you sit there
staring at me as if I were some kind of intruder. I must admit I was expecting
a warmer welcome. Won't you at least kiss me?"

Alice's brows gathered in a frown. She was behind me, almost as if I was her
shield. "No," she said.

Victoria cocked her head. "No?"

"No," Alice repeated, firmer this time. "I'm never touching you again."

The redhead smiled at that. Then she began unbuttoning her maroon blazer. She
was wearing a matching bra underneath, a maroon pushup that unlatched at the
front. Smiling, she unlatched it and opened it. Her heavy breasts leapt free.
Leah leaned with her mouth and took one of the exposed nipples between her
lips, cupping the other in her hand and squeezing it's fat softness. The
redhead simply sat there, letting her. She was leaning with a palm on the
mattress and smiling over the top of Leah's head at me and Alice.

"What about you, Miss Swan?" she asked. "After all, you and I aren't merely
acquaintances. Did you miss me?"

I swallowed. My face was on fire and I was sick to realize I was massively
horny. "No."

The redhead gave a chuckle, sitting there with her blazer and bra open, her
breasts exposed, Leah sucking and squeezing them. "You neither? Oh dear. I'm
positively shattered. I thought we had something special, you and I."

Alice leaned over me suddenly, almost like an animal. "Don't talk to her," she
hissed. The sheet had slipped away and her top half was revealed.

"My, my," smiled the redhead. "How fierce. She's dreadfully protective over
you, isn't she Miss Swan? When she learnt that you were in hospital she was so
distressed. She insisted on returning to your side that very instant. She had
to be unlocked from her chains first, but still. A very gallant young woman, is
she not?"

Alice seemed to regain a little confidence at this. She gave the redhead a
disgusted look. "You took advantage of me," she said. "But that's never going
to happen again."

"Oh, I think it will. Soon, in fact."

"Bella is my soulmate. You'll never convince me otherwise."

"I'm sure I won't have to. You'll realize on your own soon enough. I'm prepared
to wait, although I'll have my amusements in the meantime."

Leah moaned into her breasts, but Victoria took her by the hair, wrenched her
head back, and kissed her powerfully. Leah moaned again and then Victoria
tossed her aside, rose from the bed, and hiked up her skirt. Leah lay back,
waiting. Victoria slipped off her panties—a dark red g-string—and left them on
the floor. Then she climbed onto the bed, still in her heels, and straddled
Leah's face backwards. Leah started licking automatically.

Alice snorted in disgust and got out the bed, unmindful of her nakedness. She
crossed to the dresser—Victoria's eyes following her—and opened the top left-
hand drawer. The right-hand drawers were obstructed by Rosalie's legs. Her
panties had been removed and she was sitting on top of the dresser with her
legs wrapped around Jane's head. Jane was kneeling there, naked, eating her out
with muffled moans of enjoyment.

I was frozen in horrified excitement. Was this what it was like to be a
vampire? Mindless fucking whenever the urge strikes you? It was disgusting,
depraved, repulsive—and yet entirely desirable. My mind was so clouded by
alcohol and exhaustion that I felt like I was floating. I wanted nothing more
than to be part of it and yet I couldn't. It was wrong, it was not-Alice, it
was—

"Mmm," Victoria moaned, smiling at Alice's ass as she rummaged in the dresser
drawer. "Such a gorgeous body. You'll never be as beautiful as Rosalie, but you
were perfectly satisfactory for a century or two."

Rosalie smirked at that, her face flushed from Jane's tongue work. Alice glared
at her and then glared at Victoria. She seemed almost jealous, but only for a
second. She took a pair of jeans from the dresser and stepped into them and
then she pulled on a top, no underwear. She took out another pair of jeans and
a top and threw them at me.

"Hurry up," she said.

I took the clothes under the sheet and started to dress, careful not to let the
sheet slip. It was important not to let anyone see me naked. I didn't know why,
but it was.

"Why are you doing this, Alice?" the blonde asked. "You don't belong with her."

"Bella is my soulmate."

"So was I at one point."

Alice zipped up her jeans and sneered at the blonde hatefully. "You were never
my soulmate," she hissed. "Just that thing I liked fucking."

Rosalie looked sad, an odd expression on her flushed face. Her chest was rising
and falling with approaching orgasm. "You don't mean that, Alice," she said.
"You're just confused."

Alice didn't answer. Victoria had watched the exchange from her perch atop
Leah's face and she'd leaned down slightly across Leah's body and she was
stroking Leah's sides, her breasts swaying within her open blazer. Leah's legs
were wide open, waiting. I stared at her pussy as I wriggled into the jeans
under the sheet. My mouth was open and I wanted so badly to go down on it.

Alice came over and tore away the sheet. "Come on," she growled, and grabbed my
hand. I was so weak from shock and excitement, and still drunk, that I stumbled
when I stood. Alice gave me a firm look but said gently: "Let's go, baby."

The blonde was climaxing as we went past. Jane was kneeling with her perky ass
in the air and between her legs I could see her hand working at her pussy.
Rosalie had two hands clutched within Jane's silky blonde hair, legs wrapped
around her head, and her cold blue eyes met mine for just one moment before she
closed them and tilted her head back in orgasm, moaning loudly with her bare
breasts pointed directly at me.

Alice stopped at the door and spun around. "From now on, we're no longer
sisters," she said, speaking to the redhead. "If you ever go near Bella again,
I'll kill you."

Victoria smirked, squirming on Leah's face. She looked so sexy, crouched in the
bed with her heels, her skirt hiked up over her wide and round hips, her
enormous breasts moving gently between the maroon drapes of her open blazer.
She swept her eyes over Alice, a blush finally rising in her face. "There's no
need to be dramatic, Alice," she said. "Take your time, and when you realize
that you can't live without me, I'll be here. Waiting. I'll even allow you to
keep Miss Swan. I'm sure she'll be a lovely addition to the coven."

My heart flared for some reason but Alice's grip on my hand tightened
painfully.

"Bella belongs to me," she hissed. "You'll never have her."

Maybe I was just incredibly drunk, but I almost objected to that. Victoria
seemed to notice and one final smirk crossed her glorious red lips.

"We'll see," she said, and then, conversation over, she leaned those lips down
toward Leah's pussy. The moment they touched a loud moan rose muffled from
between her thighs where Leah's face was and Leah's fingers dimpled into the
redhead's ass. Leah's naked legs squirmed in ecstasy and I was staring so hard
Alice had to pull me away.

—

It was a long drive, and we rode mostly in silence. My excitement had faded
somewhat and I was sad at how horny I'd been. True, I'd managed to restrain
myself from diving into the redhead's tits, but that didn't seem like much of
an achievement. I'd thought about it. That was the worst thing. Even after
everything me and Alice had been through, and after everything I knew about
Victoria, and even after being rambunctiously triple-teamed for most of the
night—I'd still thought about it.

Mom was already asleep when we got home. Alice put me in the shower and washed
me and then she put me to bed. I was afraid that she wouldn't stay because of
my less than impressive performance back at her house, but she did. It was
perfectly dark and I couldn't see her face. I was so tired that I could hardly
stay awake, but I had to say something, anything. So I said:

"Alice?"

"Mm?"

"Don't we have to talk?"

She was tracing a pattern on my hip under the covers. "Not now, baby," she said
softly. "You're tired."

"I'm sorry," I said, for some reason. My voice was soft and sleepy.

She caressed my hip. "For what, baby?"

"I don't know," I said. "They all miss you so much. I feel like I messed up
your life."

"No," she said, and placed a kiss on my temple. "You saved my life, baby."

I smiled in the dark. Oh, Alice.

"Now, go to sleep," she whispered. "I'll be here when you wake up."

—

I didn't sleep long. Maybe just a couple hours. But once I was wake it was
clear I wasn't going back to sleep. The brief rest had cleared my head and I
woke with a strange sense of turmoil, as if I'd just realized what had happened
last night. The redhead was back.

And she's still fucking crazy.

Alice and I didn't even make love that morning. That's how serious the
situation was. We didn't even shower. We sat at the kitchen table and talked,
mostly about how we were both going to avoid the clutches of her psychotic
sister. A dull grey light was slowly getting brighter in the kitchen window and
after a while mom got up.

She came in wearing her nightrobe and slippers, brown hair frizzy and
disheveled. She halted mid step when she saw us both sitting there at the
kitchen table, side by side. Alice had borrowed some of my clothes and I was
still in my sleepwear. Mom closed her robe, tied it, and frowned.

"I didn't hear you come home last night," she said. "I was waiting till
midnight, but…"

My excuses weren't very valid, and mom's opinion of me had degraded far enough
without mentioning lesbian sex parties, so I just said: "It was late. Alice
stayed over."

Mom nodded as if this was typical and she didn't expect any better. "I see,"
she said. "So you don't even ask, do you? You think this just some hotel where
you can come in any hour you please and—"

"Mom," I interrupted gently. "We need to talk."

Nobody likes to hear those words. Girlfriends in particular hate it, but it
seemed even mothers were wary of the need to talk when pronounced in serious
tones. You could almost see the hysteria building in her eyes. She probably
thought I was pregnant somehow.

"About what?"

Suddenly I regretted phrasing it like that, but I'd only been trying to deflect
the disappointed-mother routine. So I gestured at the coffee machine. "Well,
don't you want coffee first?" I suggested. "I mean…"

"Bella, what is it?" she demanded. "Did something happen? Are you okay?"

"Everything's fine, mom," I assured her. "It's about Alice."

This took her aback. A lot of the worry went out of her face so it was pretty
obvious she cared more about her own daughter than her daughter's girlfriend.
She was probably hoping we'd decided to break up.

"Oh," she said. "What about her?"

But it wasn't something you could just blurt out, so I flapped a hand at the
coffee maker again. "Look, have your coffee first, okay?"

Mom wasn't happy about being ordered around her own kitchen, but she got her
coffee like a good girl and then came over and sat down. Stubbornly, she didn't
even sip it, as if to prove that she didn't require caffeine in order to deal
with her daughters problems. Alice was holding my hand under the table and we
shared a look before I spoke.

"The thing is," I said. "Alice had a huge fight with her sisters last night.
They don't approve of her relationship with me."

It wasn't the exact truth, but it was the cover we'd come up with. It made a
certain sense. Sister's are mean and foster-sisters would have to be even
worse.

Mom blinked. She hadn't expected that. "Oh," she said, and looked at Alice.
"I'm sorry."

I'd always marveled at the vampires for how they faked sympathy, but mom was
pretty good at it too. I suppose it's a skill all people have to acquire if
they plan on passing as decent.

Alice accepted the sympathy with a thankful smile, slightly sad at the edges,
still upset from her traumatic night. She was far more talented than mom and
she handled the complicated expression wonderfully.

My own skills as an actress were sadly below the lofty levels of my girlfriend,
but I didn't need to act. It really was a grave situation and my expression
reflected that even as I recited my false lines.

"That's why Alice stayed over last night," I said. "It was a really bad fight.
They've always been really mean to her, and…"

"And what, sweetie?"

There was actual curiosity in her voice and I went on with more confidence.
"Well, she doesn't want to go home. She just can't bare to be in that house
anymore, you know? So I said she can stay with me for a while. Just until
things cool down with her family. Is that okay?"

My delivery faltered a little at the end, but Alice squeezed my hand under the
table supportively. This was our solution to avoiding the redhead; avoid her.
It didn't solve the problem, but it was a first step. Alice would stay with me,
we'd keep as much distance between us and the redhead as possible, and then…

Well, we didn't know and then. Conceivably, it was possible that the redhead
might mellow out in her desire to sexually murder my girlfriend one day and we
could all be friends. But likely she'd try something dastardly and force us
into a new strategy. For now it seemed like enough to avoid her and hope for
the best.

It seemed a good excuse to get Alice to out the house—to feign domestic crisis
within the Cullens—but the full gravity of the situation was lost on mom who
seemed a little taken aback.

"Stay here?"

At this point Alice piped up. "Just for a while," she said, her face sad and
wounded. "I just…" She heaved a sigh and shook her head woefully. "I just can't
go back there."

I didn't how much of it was performance and how much was genuine anxiety, but I
squeezed her hand and gave her a smile. She smiled back.

"But what about your parents?" mom asked, trying to hide how displeased she was
with the plan.

"They'll understand," Alice said. "They know what my sisters are like."

"Well, I don't…"

"Please, mom," I jumped in. If mom refused then Alice would have to stay at a
motel or something, and I'd have to go with her. Me and mom hadn't been as
close as usual lately, but I still loved her and didn't want to move out just
yet. "She just needs a place to stay, that's all. She won't be a bother."

Mom shook her head but she wasn't outright rejecting the scheme. "I don't know,
sweetie," she said. "I mean, this is serious. I don't want to interfere in
another family's personal matters."

Alice made her face round and begging. "Please, Mrs Swan?" she said. "It's just
for a little while. I just can't stand to even look at them anymore. It makes
me so sick."

I remembered seeing them last night – it had made me sick too. Sick at myself
for being so horny. Even now I felt a blush creeping over my face, wondering
what I would've done if that redhead had just grabbed me by the hair and forced
my face between her—

"I never knew you were having problems with your family," mom said, with
genuine sympathy this time.

"I don't like to talk about it," Alice admitted. "Even Bella only found out
last week. She's been so great." She gave me a warm and loving look. "I love
her so much. If I didn't have her…"

I swallowed, pushing the redhead and her pussy out of my mind, and turned to
mom. "Please, mom? I know you don't exactly approve of our relationship either,
but…"

"Well, it's not that I don't approve," mom assured us hastily. "I'm happy
you've found someone you love. But that doesn't mean you can just skip school
whenever you please. And honestly, I think you've been moving way too fast for
your age. And not only that, but you've changed so much since you started
dating. I mean, some days I don't even recognize you, you look so different."

She was probably referring to my penchant for black skirts and fishnets, but my
body had changed a lot too. My skin was clearer and my figure was a lot fuller,
courtesy of my darling's venomous kiss. I should've been angry at her or hurt
that she'd concealed such a significant detail, but it seemed unreasonable to
complain about results that were so sexy.

"That's mostly my fault," Alice confessed with a sheepish smile, but obviously
she didn't mention the venom. "I like buying Bella things."

Mom glared at her. "Yes, I've seen some of the things you've bought for her."

Alice wasn't sure what she meant, but I did; vibrator. It wasn't the kind of
gift most mothers would approve of, and it was an ill-timed reminder that mom
really didn't approve of our relationship.

"Look," mom said, suddenly stern. "If you're too intimidated to go home, then
fine. You can stay here. But I want to talk to your parents about this as soon
as possible, because frankly…I don't trust you. This could all be lies. I have
to put my own daughter first, and I don't want her spending time with someone
who isn't good for her."

I felt sorry for her. She tried so hard to be a good mom. She wasn't perfect,
but I'm sure she had the majority beat. It's just sad that she doesn't have a
daughter that appreciates her. If I'd never met Alice, maybe I might've been a
daughter she could be proud of, but if I'd never met Alice, I wouldn't be
having so much sex, and in my venom-addled state, I honestly thought sex was
more important.

But not just any sex – sex with Alice and Alice only. She is my soulmate, after
all.

Alice let go of my hand and leaned forward on the table. She gave mom a look
that would make a puppy jealous and said: "I love Bella, Mrs Swan. I know I
broke her heart once, but that will never happen again. She's everything to me.
This isn't just a highschool thing for us. It's forever."

Despite the brilliant performance, it didn't seem to make a dent in mom. She
rose from the table, the chair scrapping back. "When can I speak to your
parents?" she asked.

They came later that afternoon. The good doctor took a shift off after lunch
and he bought his wife with him, treating the situation with all the gravity
and solemnity expected of respectable parents. Mom sat us all down at the
kitchen table, the two sets of care-givers opposite and the wayward daughters
side by side, completely bored but pretending to be alert. Coffee was served,
the state of the house apologized for—it was a mess, apparently, even though
mom had cleaned up specifically for the visit—and finally the discussion began.

The doctor did most of the talking. He spoke with great warmth and concern, and
began by apologizing for Alice's intrusion. He followed this up with a succinct
and completely fabricated recap of the incident that had prompted the flight,
supplementing the report by detailing also the environment of hostility and
rejection that Alice has had to cope with from her sisters since she began
dating me, his wife nodding at his elbow and sending sympathetic looks toward
Alice. The doctor went on to elucidate how difficult it's been to raise five
foster daughters and how sometimes it's inevitable that they won't get along
and how poor little Alice has always been alienated for her orientation and
choice of companionship. He added for mom's consideration an optimistic
analysis of our relationship, claiming that 'Bella' has been a source of
tremendous support for Alice throughout this trying time in her life, and even
if Alice hasn't quite mastered the concept of boundaries in relationships it
was certain that she loved 'Bella' and that 'Bella' has been a good and calming
influence on her. He concluded by saying Alice's homelife has become a terrible
strain on her tender emotions and he'd be very grateful if mom would consent to
grant Alice sanctuary for the time being, at least until Alice is confident to
go home again.

Mom had raised a few concerns here and there, but mostly she was nodding.
Whether she agreed or was simply dazzled by his blonde handsomeness, it was
difficult to say. In any case, there was no arguing with such an overwhelming
outpouring of fatherly concern, and mom said that she'd be happy to have Alice
stay for a while—in fact, she'd never considered otherwise, she only wanted to
be certain that she wasn't interfering in private matters.

The doctor thanked her for her thoughtfulness, and the momma-vamp added her own
gratitude to the doctor's, expressing relief that Alice has such a lovely
girlfriend to help her through this. She went on to mention that she'd pack
some clothes and a few of Alice's things and bring them over later tonight.
Alice thanked her parents for understanding and then heaped a little more
gratitude onto mom before renewing her promises that she loved me and she'd
treat me properly. For the sake of my pussy I hoped this was just another lie.
Finally mom rose from the table and thanked the doctor and his wife for coming
and explaining the situation to her. She felt much better now she knew exactly
what was going on and told them not to worry about a thing; Alice could rely on
the absolute best of care for as long as she remained under her roof.

This pledge was met with another round of gratitude as they slowly drifted to
the front door. Alice and I trailed along behind as if it was somehow expected
of us. We were holding hands, and when the doctor noticed, he smiled a certain
way. Then he asked mom if he could speak to me alone for a second.

The request seemed to confuse mom, but she appeared to be under the impression
that the doctor was an extremely wise man who probably knew better than her in
these matters, so she granted her permission. Alice was reluctant to let go of
my hand, and she even seemed a touch mistrustful. The doctor asked if we could
speak in my room, and lacking anything else to do, I said sure and led him
upstairs.

"Well," he said, as I closed the door. "This must be very overwhelming for
you."

I shrugged a shoulder. "A little."

"Things used to be simpler, but Alice has changed since she met you. She's
become very faithful. Which is quite disappointing to some of her sisters."

I snorted and put my hands in my back pockets. "I noticed," I said.

He studied me for a second. "To be honest, none of us expected her to remain
with you this long," he said. "But it seems her feelings have only gotten
stronger."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Possibly. Nevertheless, I feel obligated to warn you."

"About what?"

He sighed and glanced at the window briefly. "Alice has failed at hundreds of
relationships, Miss Swan," he said. "With humans, with vampires. She's been a
slave, a mistress, a wife, a lover, a soulmate. Yet nothing and no one has been
able to contain her. Not ever. And can you guess why?"

"Why?"

"Because true love doesn't exist," he said. "It's a fantasy, a dream, an
illusion. One that Alice has cherished for centuries. All her existence she's
craved nothing more than her one true love and even after ages of
disappointment and heartbreak she is unable to accept that such a thing simply
doesn't exist."

I didn't answer. He was silent for a second. He seemed to be forming the words
in his mind and after a moment he turned to me.

"Miss Swan," he said. "All I want is for Alice to be happy."

"Me too."

"I know. I didn't take you aside to discourage you. I only meant to warn you."

"Of what?"

"Of Alice's expectations. Her demands. Alice is determined to force her dreams
upon you and your relationship is fast approaching the point of no return. This
is when you'll have to decide. Because soon you'll have no choice. Alice's love
is poisonous. Figuratively and literally. Even now her venom is coursing
through your body and turning it to her purposes. Don't let her deceive you.
She has nothing to give. She wants only to take. If you are determined to be
her partner, to be her companion in eternity, to be her last and final lover,
then you'd best be willing to cut your own heart out of your chest and place it
directly into her hands, because Alice will expect nothing less."

—

The sun was beginning to go down as I walked him outside to where Alice and
Esme were waiting by the car, a dark green Mercedes. His words had left a
strange impression on me but I had no time to think about it.

"Hey there, you two," Alice said, smiling as we approached. "Nice chat? You
better not have been talking trash about me, Carlisle."

He smiled and didn't answer.

The momma-vamp turned to me with well-feigned maternal concern. "I'm sorry
we've caused so much trouble for you and your mother, Bella," she said. "I did
beg Alice to be more responsible. I begged you both."

I waved a hand casually. The wind was blowing my hair. "It's alright," I said.
"We're teenagers, we don't know any better."

Alice giggled and took my arm. "Well said, baby."

"I just wish it didn't have to be like this," the momma-vamp went on. "Things
could've been so much easier if only you two showed better judgment. I just
hope it's not too late."

The doctor opened the car door for his wife. "We should let Bella get inside,"
he said.

The momma-vamp glanced at him and back at Alice. "I'm going to miss you,
Alice," she said. "When will you be home?"

"I'm not sure," Alice said. "But I can't be around Vicky right now."

The momma-vamp shook her head crossly. "I've always hated that woman."

"Then why do you fuck her so much?" Alice smirked.

The doctor chuckled silently, still holding open the car door. The momma-vamp
blushed.

"She has a submissive streak," Alice explained to me. "Most of us do."

The momma-vamp frowned and changed the subject quickly. "Well, at least I'll
see you at school," she said. "I got a call yesterday. One of the English
teachers is on maternity leave and they need someone to fill in."

"That's awesome."

I looked at her in surprise. "You're a teacher?"

She nodded, smiling. "And a decorator and a carpenter. But I've always loved
teaching. They said there might even be space on the faculty next year, so…"

The doctor cleared his throat. "Honey?"

He was still holding open the car door. The woman gave him a quick look and
turned back to me and Alice. "Well, we'd better let you girls go inside."

She seemed to be expecting a hug. Alice let go of my arm and asked: "Is it okay
if I kiss Esme on the mouth? It's a family thing."

I looked at the momma-vamp. Her caramel-colored hair was in a bun atop her head
and the wind was riffling her silk blouse against her breasts. I got the
impression that vampires were more intimate than normal people, and the momma-
vamp seemed like one of the less slutty ones. Besides, it was just a kiss. So I
turned back to Alice and said: "Sure."

Alice smiled and turned to her pretend mother. The woman was two inches taller
than Alice than Alice kissed her very tenderly, wrapping her arms around her
neck and pressing her lips flush against the other woman's. I glanced back at
the house wildly, hoping mom wasn't peeking through a window or something. I
turned back at the sound of a soft moan. Alice let her mom go and looked into
her eyes for a second. Then she turned to me.

"And Carlisle?" she asked.

I balked at that. I looked at him; tall, blonde, angelically chiseled features.
I didn't really want my girlfriend to kiss a guy, but I didn't want to be
small-minded about their relationships either, so I said: "Well. If you have
to."

But the doctor only smiled and shook his head. "That won't be necessary," he
said. "You have a partner now, Alice. You should start acting like it."

Alice frowned. The momma-vamp got into the car and he closed the door.

"I am acting like it," Alice said.

The doctor smiled and opened the driver's side door. "Act harder," he said, and
then he got into the car, started it, and pulled out the driveway.

Alice glared at the car as it drove away into the sunset. I looked at her pale
face as it was bathed in the orange glow for a moment, wondering what she was
thinking. Such a complicated girl, full of lies and lusts and endless longings.
I took her arm and she smiled at me instantly. She gave me a kiss and then we
went inside.

—

Living with Alice was like a dream come true.

It was like being married. Alice was there when I went to bed and there when I
woke up, and she'd stay there, not leaving like she always did. She was there
in the shower and at breakfast. She was there at school. She was there to drive
me home and make out with me on my bed. She was there when mom got home and
there to help me cook and there for dinner and there to help me with the
dishes. She was there at night, cuddled up beside me on the couch as we watched
sitcoms with mom, both of us in pajamas, sharing a blanket when it was cold.
She was there when I went to bed, climbing in after me as she reached for the
lampswitch. Making love to me in the dark and holding me as I fell asleep. And
there again in the morning.

Mom wasn't wholly approving—especially of us sharing a bed—but she was
beginning to realize at this point that there was nothing she could do to stop
us. We were like lovers in a poem, utterly heedless of convention or
consequence. We held hands everywhere and we were rarely in the same room
without some kind of physical contact. At breakfast, she would sit so close our
knees would touch. When we watched TV, she'd snuggle directly into my lap. I'd
make dinner standing at the stove with her arms around my middle. After a while
even mom seemed to become envious of our intimacy.

And, of course, there was sex. That was probably the best part. We had our
routine—in bed at night and in the shower in the morning—and we made an art of
quickies, retreating into my room whenever the urge struck us, and it struck us
often. We developed a rhythm where words weren't even required. Mom would
mention that she had to go to the store, and as soon as she was out the door,
I'd simply unzip Alice's jeans and go down on her. As a vampire, she recovered
from orgasms much quicker than I did, and I tried to provide her with three for
every one of mine, just to let her know I love her.

The only thing that wasn't perfect was the promise that it wouldn't last. The
redhead and the blonde had returned to school and they'd watch us from across
the cafeteria where we sat at our own private table, the redhead with a smirk,
the blonde with her cold cat-eyes. But soon Alice and I stopped going to the
cafeteria at all. We found an abandoned classroom upstairs and rendezvoused
there everyday, lifting our skirts and eating each other out in the corner.
Sitting in the dusty carpet and holding each other, silently, waiting for the
bell. Neither of us wanted to go to class but we did. It seemed important to
pretend everything was fine even though any day the redhead could ruin
everything.

Alice avoided her family as much as she could, even her mother who appeared on
Tuesday morning to replace the English teacher. She wore skirtsuits and heels
that accentuated her ass and bust and she carried herself with a firm and
somehow flirty demeanor that made her an instant favorite with the students,
male and female alike. On Friday afternoon she asked one of the girls to remain
behind after class. On Monday morning the girl had bite marks in her neck. I
didn't have English with Alice and for a few days I managed not to stare at Ms
Cullen's ass as she wrote on the whiteboard, but eventually I gave up and ogled
her like a common guy.

One afternoon a class of senior's were passing through gym during PE. Victoria
and Rosalie were among them. I was sitting on the bench beside Alice, holding
her hand. The hall was filled with loud voices and squeaking sneakers. I glared
at them with a tight feeling in my chest, hating them for the threat they posed
to me and my Alice. The redhead noticed me and smiled. I maintained my glare,
but she only winked sexily, causing a curdled excitement between my legs. Alice
then noticed them and suddenly she turned my face to hers and kissed me
viciously, presumably to make them jealous, but I didn't think it was her they
were jealous of. The kiss was so hot half the dodgeball game stopped to stare.
The coach had to blow her whistle and bark at us to break it up.

This whole time we hardly talked about anything deeper than what we wanted to
do to each other. Alice hadn't fed from me in a long time and by the second
week she was so insatiable we could hardly show ourselves in front of mom
anymore. She was letting her thirst build and build, so that it would be
special, and finally I had to put my foot down and demand she bite me. My pussy
was in pain from the strength of her appetite and I needed her teeth. By now I
was consciously addicted to her venom and sex wasn't enough; I needed to feel
it directly into my bloodstream.

So we made a date on Saturday. Almost a replica of our first big date so long
ago. Alice wanted to do something special. We booked a hotel room in Seattle
and we spent the afternoon dress shopping and making love in the change rooms.
Like last time, we both opted for black. We made an appearance in the hotel
dinning room for dinner. I didn't have much of an appetite but I ate a
beautiful dinner and a chocolate dessert. Alice had nothing; she just sat and
watched the food pass between my lips, smiling and waiting her own turn.

We went upstairs and ordered champagne. We sat on a cream-colored sofa with
gold armrests and began making out, slowly, determined to make it last. Alice
paused at one point and lifted a handful of my dark hair, inhaling it's scent.
She was in full make up and tiny diamonds dangled from her ears. She'd closed
her eyes and when she opened them I leaned again to her lips.

My dress was long with a slit down one leg and after a while she flipped aside
the material to expose my naked lap. I was sitting with my legs together and
she slipped her hand between my sensitive thighs, caressing me as she looked
into my face. I let my own hand fall between her legs, as high as it could go.
Her dress was short and tight and her thighs were soft and warm. She pressed
them together against my hand and then we were kissing again.

We kissed each other's shoulders, we kissed each other's throats. We placed
kisses on each other's chests and on the swell of breasts above the necklines
of out dresses. My head was swirling with lust and we hadn't even gotten into
bed. I pulled her dress away from one of her breasts and engulfed her nipple in
my mouth. She moaned and scrunched her hands in my hair.

Finally we rose, hand in hand, and moved to the bed. We turned down the covers
and climbed on top, leaving on our heels and dresses. Alice straddled my hips
and rubbed herself against me, almost growling. I pulled her into a kiss,
opening my mouth for her tongue. My hands roamed the fabric of her dress until
they came to the area that covered her ass. The black satin was smooth, but not
as smooth as her skin, and suddenly I grabbed the hem and tugged it up over her
hips. I used both hands to clutch her thong-clad ass and then I flipped her
onto her back and forced my tongue into her mouth.

By the time we'd removed each other of our dresses we were wet dripping wet.
Our panties were soaked and our thighs slathered. We tossed our dressed over
the side of the bed and peeled out of our underwear. Our hair was damp with
sweat and we wore nothing but jewelry, heels, and makeup. We rolled about in
each others arms, gripping each other's bodies with increasing urgency, gasping
under each other's mouths.

Alice was at the end of her resistance and finally she gave a strangled whimper
and forced me onto my back, pinning my wrists with her hands. She was between
my legs and I wrapped them around her, my pussy in an agony of anticipation.
She looked into my lustful face where it lay in a pool of black hair. She was
gasping through her mouth and I could see her fangs.

"What do you want me to do?"

Her voice was high and breathless. I knew exactly what she wanted to hear and I
smiled and said:

"Anything."

"Anything?"

"Anything," I said, gazing up at her with perfect devotion, her face so pretty,
so sexy, so completely fucking gorgeous. She could do anything, absolutely
anything - and she saw it in my eyes. She ran her tongue along her teeth,
staring at me with a lust that was almost evil, and then she swooped and sank
her fangs into my neck.

It hurt tremendously but I gasped with joy and tightened my legs around her.
She sucked at the wound for a while and then stopped abruptly. She licked her
bloody lips and kissed me. I could taste my own blood in her mouth and it
tasted sweet.

She kissed me until my mind was rolling in my head and then she stopped. Blood
was leaking from my neck and soaking into the sheet. She still had my wrists
pinned to the mattress and now she raised one and bit into it. I groaned at the
pain and watched her suck on it, blood running down my forearm. Then she tossed
that arm aside and bit into the other wrist, holding it with both hands and
watching my eyes as she sucked on it. It hurt more than the other one, but I
did nothing but whimper and stare at her wantonly. Her eyes crinkled as if she
was smiling into the wound and then she dropped the arm and gripped her
fingernails into my breasts, clawing me like a cat.

"This is going to hurt," she said.

I nodded breathlessly. "Okay."

She bit into one of my breasts. She squeezed it until it bulged in her hand and
then she forced her fangs into the soft flesh below my nipple. The pain was
unlike anything I'd felt before, not real pain, but nice pain, scintillating
pain. I writhed helplessly under her teeth and moaned as her tongue licked
across the wound and across my nipple. Then she bit into the other one, popping
the nipple in her fist and covering it with her mouth so that her fangs sank
into my areola. She sucked on the nipple and the wound at the same time and
then she abandoned them both and moved her lips lower across my tummy.

My legs were open to her and for a while she simply licked up the arousal from
my thighs and pussylips, leaving red streaks from the blood on her tongue. She
spread my pussy and licked inside it, inserting her tongue and pulling it out,
pushing it in again. She urged me to the absolute edge and then she stopped and
sat up between my legs. I lay there panting with my breasts heaving and blood
stained.

"Alice," I whispered desperately. "Please…"

But she only smirked and licked her lips. Her hand closed around my slender
ankle and she lifted my whole leg. She eyed it hungrily as if it were a piece
of meat and then she selected a tender place in my calf and bit into it. I
groaned and suddenly she thrust three fingers of her other hand into my vagina.
I arched up and clenched down, crying out loud from shock, excitement,
desperation. Alice sucked at the wound in my leg and pumped with her fingers.

"Alice," I gasped with tears in my eyes. "Alice."

She removed her fingers and threw my leg aside, tossing me onto my stomach. The
next thing I felt was her fangs sinking into the soft flesh of my ass. I balled
my fist and pounded the mattress, whimpering. She licked at it, her hot tongue
stinging against my pierced skin, and then she stopped. There was nothing for a
second and then her hand clenched in the back of my hair and she pulled me
upright onto my knees, wrenching my head back so that she could hiss in my ear.

"Is this what you want?"

"Yes," I breathed. "Yes. Please. Please, Alice. Keep going. Keep—ahh!"

I trailed off into a scream as she bit roughly into my neck, the other side
this time. I was kneeling in the bed with her behind me, my head wrenched back,
arms dangling at my sides. Her grip in my hair was painful and she bit me so
hard it made me cry. She reached around with her other hand and started
fingering me as she sucked on the wound and I closed my eyes, whimpering,
crying, quivering in her arms.

Finally she released her grip and let me flop down onto the bed. I curled up on
my side like something injured, and she stood up on the mattress in her heels,
looking down at me where I lay sweaty, bloody, trembling on the bloodstained
sheets. She let me catch my breath for a second and then she nudged me over
with the toe of her shoe. I rolled onto my back, staring up at her as she stood
there in the bed like some dark goddess, small, sexy, her face covered in my
own blood. Then she stepped astraddle of my head, smirked, and slowly squatted
with her legs open, lowering her pussy until it was over my mouth.

Her pursed and pink cleft was so swollen and engorged it looked much like a
wound itself and she didn't need to tell me to start sucking it. I hooked my
arms around her thighs and licked, licked, licked. She moaned and held my head
firmly into her crotch, rubbing herself into my face. Finally she threw my head
back, dismounted, and remounted backwards. I resumed licking instantly, my
hands gripping her ass, and I felt her lower herself across my body until she
could lick at my own pussy.

But she didn't. She stuffed several fingers inside me and then she bit into the
soft flesh of my thigh. I whimpered into her pussy and licked at her harder,
harder. I could feel her venom coursing through my veins and poisoning my
brain. She alternated between licking my blood and licking my arousal until
finally she abandoned my blood altogether and focused solely on my pussy and
when I climaxed I climaxed so hard it felt like I was going to die.

Finally it was all over. Alice gathered me into her lap and fed a little more
at the wounds in my neck and my breasts, softly now, lovingly. I stroked her
hair and when she was done she smiled at me, a smile of happy satisfaction with
her beautiful bloodstained mouth.

"So how do you like dating a real vampire?" she asked.

I chuckled drunkenly. "Well," I said. "It's not like a novel."

"Tell me about it. I don't even sparkle in the sun."

"Still sexy though," I whispered, and then I kissed her, letting my tongue
taste my own blood.

—

Alice took me into the ensuite bathroom and sat me on the rim of the bathtub
while she cleaned my wounds with a washcloth. I watched her daub at my body
with a certain delight, eyes bright from bloodloss. The washcloth was white and
it pinkened slowly as she dragged it across my ravished flesh, parting my legs
to wipe my thigh, my calf, smiling as she wiped the dried blood from my
breasts. It wasn't long ago when I'd been disheartened at the idea that she
mostly liked me for my blood, but I felt different now. I felt…delicious.

"You gotta stop letting me dominate you, baby," she said, wringing the cloth in
the sink. "My formal training's in submission."

I stood up and wrapped my arms around her from behind. "I like when you
dominate me," I whispered into her ear.

"Me too," she said, turning around to face me. "But it's dangerous. It's safer
when I'm passive."

"I trust you."

"Do you?"

"Of course I do," I said, caressing her cheek. "I love you, Alice."

She looked into my eyes as if she was searching for something. There was
nothing there but the same bland and vapid devotion I'd always felt for her,
but this seemed to be what she was looking for; she smiled, kissed me, and
pulled me tighter.

We went for a shower afterwards, so I guess the washcloth had only been a way
for her to tenderly admire her handiwork. I was going to need more than a
collar to conceal the marks this time. I had a total of eight different bites,
each of them rough, savage, glaring redly in my white skin. She seemed to be
very proud of her work and while she showered she kissed each of them, dropping
to her knees in the shower floor to reach the lower ones, stroking my legs.
They still stung a little, but I wasn't angry with her or hurt or scared. It
was true what I said; I trusted her. I trusted her from the second I saw her,
and I knew she'd never hurt me. Finally her lips landed on my pussy where I
really wanted them and I held her to me as the warm water cascaded against my
pale face.

We were wearing robes when we reappeared in the hotel room and I was surprised
at how bloody the bed was. Sometimes at home we'd leave a dark mark in the
sheet like a bridal stain, but this was different. It looked like someone had
been murdered there or some small animal butchered. For a second I stopped and
stared, strangely excited. It had happened less than an hour ago but already it
felt like a memory, a dream.

Alice was holding my arm and looking at the same thing. "I guess I got a little
carried away, huh?"

A touch of self-reproach was in her voice and I smiled to set her at ease.

"Maybe a little," I admitted. "But that was the whole point, wasn't it? To do
something special?"

"So you're okay?"

I nodded happily. "I'm great."

"Thanks, baby. You were perfect."

"You too."

Alice wrapped me into a kiss. Then she stood there gazing into my eyes. Again,
I had no thoughts more complicated than how much I loved her, but she seemed to
find this pleasing. Eventually she placed another little kiss on my mouth.

"The wounds will heal pretty quickly with so much venom in your system," she
said. "A few days, maybe."

"Cool."

"Want some champagne?"

"Sure."

Alice went over and poured me a glass. I stood there, watching her, loving her.
She looked so adorable in her oversized bathrobe. She came back with the glass,
gave it to me, and then she took my other hand and led me to the sofa.

I sat against the armrest and she snuggled between my legs. She laid her head
against my chest, but then she sat up and opened the robe to expose one of my
breasts, and then laid down again with her face against it.

"Mmm," she moaned contentedly. "Do you know what I love about you, baby?"

Honestly, I had no idea. I wasn't aware of any finer qualities that set me
aside from the average slut. Other than the fact that I like girls. Most sluts
don't. At least not exclusively.

But my charming lover had always liked saying sweet things, and I certainly
wasn't going to deny her the opportunity. "What?"

True to form, she nuzzled her cheek against my chest and said: "Your tits. I
absolutely adore them."

Well, that was sweet too, I guess. Smiling, I took her hand and placed it
inside my robe, pressing it against the other one. I kissed the top of her
head. "Thanks," I said. "They belong to you, you know."

"Oh, don't say that," Alice whined playfully. "You'll make me horny again. I
only just started relaxing."

"Sorry," I giggled. "Just wanted you to know."

We fell into a companionable silence for a few minutes. I sipped my champagne
and thought about how much I loved the girl who was relaxing with her face in
my tits. Moments like this, I found it hard to believe that I'd ever been
attracted to the redhead. My heart was so full of love for Alice that it seemed
impossible there could be room for anything else. But then again, it wasn't my
heart that had wanted Victoria, was it?

I suppose everybody has at least one crippling personality flaw, no matter how
pretty or charming. Alice's flaw was her various stalker tendencies. Victoria's
flaw was general sociopathy. My flaw must be sexual shallowness. No matter how
much I loved Alice I'd probably always be vulnerable to psychotic dominatrixes.

Which is why I have to be vigilant. My feelings for Alice are precious and
sacred. I have to protect them, nurture them, make sure nothing fucks with
them. I have to avoid the redhead at all costs, don't talk to her, don't look
at her, don't—

"Baby?"

Her voice was almost sleepy.

"Yeah?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"You might think it's weird."

I chuckled softly and held her. "Nothing's weird anymore, Alice."

I mean, really. I'm a sixteen year old lesbian cuddling up with a kinky vampire
between my legs who's nuzzling my tits with her cheek in the warm afterglow of
hardcore sex in a five-star hotel suite with a blood soaked bed in the
background from where I'd been eaten like an antelope. How do you define weird?

"Tonight was my anniversary," she said. "With Rose."

Oh. That is pretty fucking weird.

I didn't know what to feel. Actually, I didn't feel anything. Only curiosity as
to what the fuck she was thinking exactly when she set up the most romantic
date of my life on the anniversary of her wedding with her ex.

"What do you mean?"

"We were married today, eighty-three years ago," she said. "I tried to forget,
but I couldn't. Tonight is the first anniversary we haven't been together in
almost a century. We're not even divorced, either. We never even broke up. I
just…walked out."

She sounded sad, but I didn't know what she wanted from me. Shouldn't I be
angry right now? I mean, from what I understand, my girlfriend had just used me
to take her mind off missing her ex on her anniversary. And now I was suppose
to comfort her?

"I'm sorry," she said. Her face was still in my tits, but now it felt like she
was afraid to look at me. "I didn't want to tell you, but I thought you'd
understand."

"Understand what?"

"I don't know. I just thought you would."

We fell silent for a second while I tried to isolate what I was feeling. But
again, I didn't really feel much of anything. Just that same cold curiosity as
to what exactly was running through her messed up little mind.

"Do you miss her?" I asked.

"Sometimes," she admitted. "We both had Victoria, but we were always close. In
many ways, we were even closer to each other than to Vicky. We were partners.
True partners. She deserves better than to be abandoned like this, but…"

She sat up and looked at me. My boobs were just sitting there exposed, so I
pulled my robe around them. The conversation seemed to call for a touch of
propriety.

"I'm sorry, baby," she said. "This must seem so twisted to you."

I didn't know what to say. Her face was sad and remorseful – but watching,
alert. I got the impression that she wasn't really sorry, that she was just
trying to get something out of me, a certain reaction. But what?

"I feel so terrible," she went on. "I don't know why I wanted to do something
special tonight. It was stupid. Maybe I was trying to recreate what I had with
Rose, or maybe I was just trying to replace her. Maybe I just needed to feel
loved. I don't know. All I know is that you're the one I want to be with. Not
her, not Vicky. Just you."

It was a touching speech, and she'd said it with perfect authenticity – but I
didn't believe a word. In the past it had been difficult to tell when she was
acting or honest, but by now I was beginning to realize the truth. It was all
an act. Vampires were soulless and Alice was no exception. Sometimes she was
quirky teenager, sometimes she was affectionate girlfriend. Right now she was
theatrical young woman with relationship issues.

None of it was real. She wanted all of it, but she felt none of it. Victoria
had been right; she was a shell, a husk. It was all just a game to her, a role
to play, her own personal soap opera. She was looking at me, waiting for my
reaction, her heart dead in her chest and the mind behind her eyes cranking out
it's romantic calculations. This was the scene where I was supposed to be
understanding of her various emotional complications.

So I did.

"It's okay, Alice," I said, hot salt lodged in my throat. "I know you love me."

She smiled, a smile that said she was so grateful to have such a perfect—or
gullible—girlfriend, and then she kissed me. For the first time, her lips felt
foreign, like dead things on my face. But then her tongue slithered into my
mouth and her venom tingled in my head and soon I was kissing her back.

We fucked on the couch and fucked on the bed. A weird mood had come over me
since her confession, but I couldn't hate her or be angry with her. I wasn't
even hurt. I felt strange and detached, as if I expected no better. I went down
on her with waves of something like sympathy rolling over me, licking her as
deep as I could because I knew that she could feel it, that it was one of the
only things she really did feel. I felt sorry for her, to be so empty inside
and so desperate to be filled. So fixated on finding her one true mate. But why
couldn't she just be honest?

I remembered what the doctor had told me the other day in my room. She has
nothing to give. She wants only to take. I was starting to get that impression,
but I thought I could handle it. I loved her and I wanted to make her happy.
I'd give her anything she wanted. Understanding, forgiveness, love. Blood.
Anything at all that would convince her I loved her. Because I did. She was
everything to me. Absolutely everything.

And anyway, damaged or not, she was still a sexy little slut who let me fuck
her all the time. Emotional issues didn't affect the taste of her pussy.

We fucked all night and eventually we wound up cuddling under the covers with
the lights off. I was exhausted and slightly drunk from the champagne, but I
couldn't sleep. I stroked Alice's back up and down. So smooth. So perfect. I
just wish she knew she didn't have to lie to me. Maybe it was necessary when we
first started dating, but I was beyond all that now. There was nothing she
could do that would drive me away.

Anniversary, huh? I felt sorry for the blonde. I'm sure she'd take comfort in
the pillowy bosom of her redhaired mistress, but it must suck to be dumped by a
girl like Alice. And for me, too. Talk about insult. Alice really was crazy.
Who'd dump a girl like that for a girl like me? And it wasn't just the blonde
she'd dumped. The redhead, too. And Jane and Leah. Her whole family. Why?
Because I'm her soulmate? I guess that made sense. But wouldn't a bunch of sexy
fuck-buddies be better?

"Alice?" I whispered in the dark.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"What happened with you and Rosalie?"

She hesitated. Her hand was cupping my breast—they were what she liked best
about me, after all—and she was caressing it. "Why do you ask?"

I shrugged, perfectly nonchalant. It seemed like natural curiosity. After all,
my girlfriend was so hung up on her ex that she'd tried to recreate their
anniversary with me. Either that, or she'd been pretending to recreate their
anniversary just so she could see how I'd react to it. I think I had a right to
know exactly what the deal was between them.

"I just want to know, that's all," I said. "I saw the wedding picture of you
and her in her room. You looked like a really beautiful couple. I was just
wondering what happened."

"I already told you, baby. You happened."

"Just like that?"

"Basically. Do you want to know the whole story with me and Rose? It's actually
really sweet. And kind of tragic at the same time. Like most lesbian stories."

Yay. Bedtime story.

"Okay," I said.

Alice took a deep breath and snuggled closer, as if to get comfortable. "Well,
I met Rose about ninety years ago. This was in the twenties. She was eighteen
years old and from a wealthy family. Her parents had set her up with a fiancé,
a friend of the family. Rosalie was okay with it at the time. He was a decent
guy, or he seemed to be. She wasn't in love with him, not even attracted to
him, but she trusted her parents judgment, and she was never the kind of girl
who enjoyed making her own decisions. Even back then she always had a strong
sense of duty and obedience.

"At the time I was a nurse at the same hospital as Carlisle. I'd already been
through highschool and college. I would've been twenty or so, according to
paperwork. I have no idea how old I really am. I don't even know how old I was
when I was turned. Somewhere near eighteen, I guess. Jane and Leah were with us
by then as well, and of course Vicky. Esme was the only one that hadn't joined
us yet. It was in the hospital where I met Rosalie. She was a patient."

"What happened?"

"She'd been raped and beaten by her fiancé and several of his friends."

"Oh my god."

"Yeah. She almost died. Her beautiful face was all messed up and one of her
legs and one of her arms and a couple ribs were broken. She also had internal
injuries. Injuries that meant she'd never have children. It was Carlisle who
treated her, and of course he saw how amazingly beautiful she was, even with
the disfigurement. But Carlisle already had a couple girlfriends, and he knew I
was looking for someone new. So he told me about her and told me what happened.
And when she woke up, I was there, right beside her bed.

"It was a slow seduction, of course, in deference to her trauma. But she
responded to me right away. She told me later that's how she realized she was
gay. It was a first sight kind of thing. I fell for her pretty hard, too. Not
as hard as you, but for a while I did think she may have been my soulmate. I
guess I didn't know any better.

"Anyway. She was in the hospital a long time, and I visited her everyday and
took care of her. She was very quiet to begin with, even cold. But slowly she
opened up. Eventually she told me what happened to her. Her fiancé was drunk.
He tried to show her off to his friends and when she tried to leave he got
rough. He tore her clothes and beat her. Then they all…

"Well. There's no need to go into detail about that. Needless to say, I was
rather infuriated. At that point she hadn't talked to the police. Or even her
parents. Then one day her parents came to visit and she told them everything.
And guess what? Her parents didn't believe her. They thought she'd been out
whoring and got what she deserved. So they told her to go back to him and be
grateful if he even still wants her."

"How could they do that?"

"Because his family was rich and influential. Business associates. It doesn't
matter. What matter's is that Rosalie wasn't brave enough to stand up to them.
She told me the whole story that night and started crying. She said she wished
they'd just killed her."

"That's sad."

"Mm. So you know what I did?"

"What?"

"Well, remember when I said I don't kill people?"

"Yeah."

"Well, sometimes there's exceptions."

"You killed them?"

"Mm. Not her parents. Just the ones that hurt her. I killed the fiancé first
and got the names of the others. Then I hunted them down, one by one. I didn't
feed from them, of course. That would be disgusting. I didn't even touch them.
I used a gun. Carlisle bought it for me."

I froze. So, basically, I was in bed with a woman who was not only married but
a murderer as well. I guess she had her excuses, but it was difficult not to
feel just a little awkward.

"Do you think it was wrong to kill them?" she asked.

I shook my head in the dark. "Of course not."

"Good," she said. "Rosalie didn't, either, when she finally found out. It had
taken a week or two to get them all. I didn't want to kill the wrong person by
accident, so I had to be careful. I had to catch them alone and make them
confess. So I could be certain I had the right one. It was funny, in a way.
They begged me not to kill them. They had all kinds of excuses. They were
drunk, they didn't know what they were doing. They were sorry, they didn't mean
it. Some of them even offered to go to the police. But I killed them, anyway. I
don't make it a habit of killing people, of course, but it can be fun when one
has the moral excuse.

"The story was a pretty big deal in the paper. Rosalie didn't read the paper,
of course—not a current affairs kind of girl—but after the death of her fiancé
a couple of detectives came to interview her. She couldn't have been a suspect
since she'd never left the hospital since being admitted, but it seemed
coincidental that the rape and the murder occurred so close. They asked if her
fiancé had anything to do with what happened to her, but she wouldn't answer.

"I was there during the interview. Rosalie had asked if I could stay. And while
the police were asking her questions, I was standing there in the background,
smiling, dressed in my cute little nurse's uniform. Innocent as you please.
Rosalie looked over at me at one point and I could see in her face that she
knew. She knew I did it.

"But she couldn't have possibly believed that a nurse—even one as nice as
me—would run out and kill her rapist in a fit of psychotic sympathy, so she
never said anything. Then or now. Even when the others started to die and the
detectives came back and asked more questions. She preferred to pretend the
whole ordeal never happened. In a way, she did die that night. She was a new
woman after she met me.

"She was in the convalescent ward for over a month. Slowly her wounds began to
heal. I'd visit her every single day and stay as long as she wanted me to. I
could see the change in how she looked at me, and after a while I became more
and more daring. I showed my fangs when I smiled. I kissed her more often, on
the lips. That was how my dominant streak began to emerge. Most of her bruises
were healed, but she had a cut above her perfect eyebrow and her lip had been
split very bad. The injuries on her beautiful face made her look fragile and
vulnerable, and I really loved that look on her. And I'd love it how she'd
light up whenever I'd walk into the room. She wasn't a girl who smiled often,
but she always smiled to see me. She had fallen for me pretty hard, and even if
she didn't understand it, she never questioned it or resisted it. She was so
quiet and demure, so grateful to have me to take care of her. Her eyes were
like a cat's, the way she'd stare at me with such bland but intelligent
devotion. It was intoxicating. So I decided to keep her.

"Eventually it was time for her to be released from hospital, but she couldn't
go home to her parents, so I offered to take her home with me. I was living
alone at the time, since technically I was an adult. Jane was living with
Carlisle, still posing as his daughter, and Leah was living with Vicky. Leah
was going through her sub phase. You'd be surprised about her, too. We
maintained separate residences, but we saw each other all the time, for feeding
or sex. Vicky's house was most popular, of course.

"Anyway, I took Rosalie back to my apartment, and I took care of her as if she
was my daughter. Or a pet. The same way as how Vicky had treated me back when
we first met. I took her to bed that very first night and stroked her, kissed
her, made love to her the same way that Vicky had done to me. And then, for the
first time, I bit her.

"It was a very special bite. I'd waited a long time so that it would be as
perfect as possible. And it was. She still had no idea what I was, but she
accepted me whole heartedly, with no fear, no hesitation. The only bite I
enjoyed more was the first time I bit you."

"I didn't have any fear, either," I said, with just a flicker of jealously. I
mean, let's not forget who the soulmate is here. "I was accepting, too."

Alice giggled and kissed my tit—romantic. "I know you were," she said. "You
were wonderful."

"So what happened then?"

"Well, for a while our relationship progressed pretty much the same as me and
Vicky's. Of course, I was never as hardcore as Vicky, so I didn't enjoy hurting
her. We only did playful obedience training kind of stuff. A little bondage.
Some light spanking. Even when I bit her, I was as careful as possible not to
hurt her.

"It was perfect for a while, as relationships always are. I'd quit my job at
the hospital, since I certainly didn't need the money, and to begin with I
simply lavished as much attention on Rosalie as I could. Rosalie was one of my
special ones, and for a long time I kept her to myself. But I always returned
to Vicky or Jane and let them feed from me. Especially Vicky. At first she was
even supportive of my relationship with Rose. They all were. We hadn't had an
addition to the coven in a long time, and they could see how happy Rosalie made
me. So I took Rose away to Europe where it would be just me and her, somewhere
special, and I turned her.

"Unfortunately, however, that's where my fairytale ended. And maybe where hers
began, who knows? In any case, until then I'd kept her all to myself, but when
we came back home, I decided it was finally time to introduce her to my family.
She knew about the intimacy I shared with my sisters, and I was prepared to
allow her the same intimacy if she wanted. I even encouraged her. As I said, I
was very liberal-minded back then, and sex between friends seemed perfectly
natural, even special. I only changed my mind about that stuff after I met you.
Anyway, Rosalie assured me that I was the only woman she'd ever want, and I
have to admit I was kind of grateful for that. I liked the idea of having her
all to myself. So I introduced her to all of them, and of course, Vicky was
very pleased to meet her. Very pleased.

"And Rosalie was as well, I have to admit. I was surprised, honestly. They
couldn't keep their eyes off each other. I'd never seen Vicky in love. I
thought she'd been in love with me, but that wasn't love. She never looked at
me the way she looked at Rose.

"Nothing happened right away, but I guess it was inevitable. Vicky seduced her.
Rose loved it. The connection between them was stronger than sisters or fuck-
buddies, and of course they both had feelings for me, too. The solution was
kind of obvious, and in the end it was me who suggested it. I like to claim
that Vicky stole Rose from me, or that Rosalie abandoned me, but in the end, it
was consensual on all sides. I just hate to admit that maybe they liked each
other more than they liked me. Maybe that's not even true, but sometimes it
felt like it.

"Anyway, I don't know. It didn't seem so bad at the time. Like I said, I was
liberal minded. I rationalized it to myself in different ways. Sometimes I
think I was trying to create a whole new kind of relationship. A triangle is
the strongest shape in geometry, so why not in love? It seemed to make sense,
but at the same time I think the truth was obvious; it was just too hot to pass
up.

"So we invited Vicky over one night. A very special night. I let Vicky dominate
me right in front of Rose. Which turned her on, naturally. Hard-fucking-core,
as they say. Then it was Rosalie's turn. Then both of us together. Vicky
commanded us to do things to each other, and of course we were very eager to
comply. Finally she allowed us to bite her, one on each side of her neck, and
from that night, we both became Vicky's subs. Sister slaves with the same
mistress."

I'd been sleepy before she started the story. I wasn't sleepy anymore.

"O-oh," I said.

Alice giggled softly. "Don't get too turned on, baby," she said. "Vicky could
always use a third."

"No," I said hastily, "I mean… It's just…"

"I know, it's hot. But you don't like Vicky, do you?"

"No way," I asserted. "I fucking hate her."

Alice gave me a quick kiss. "Then there's nothing to worry about," she said.
"Rosalie was different. She wasn't my soulmate, but she was always special to
me. She still is, although I'd never admit it. Vicky let us be as close as we
want, and we were always together, with Vicky or without her. We got married,
and in many ways we were true partners. It was nice to have someone who shared
my passion for Vicky. We had a lot in common, me and Rose. Fashion, music, sex.
Sometimes it even seemed like Vicky was just another sex toy between us. But in
the end, I still hadn't found true love. Just another sister."

Alice then swung a leg over my hips, straddled me, and lay her body flat across
mine. Her breath tickled my lips in the dark.

"But then I met you," she whispered. "And suddenly I realized why I'd never
truly loved anyone else. Because I was waiting for you. My love. My Bella."

Her lips descended on mine. My eyes were open but I could see nothing but
black.

"Alice?"

"Mm?

"Do you really think I'm your soulmate?"

"Yes. I really do."

My heart gave a peculiar pang and some of my anxiety seeped through the cracks.
"But you don't know for sure, do you? I mean, there's no supernatural proof
that you see and I don't, right? You're just assuming, aren't you?"

"I don't need proof. All I need is you."

"But how do you know soulmates even exist?"

"Because I've found mine. And so have you. You're just struggling with the
cheesiness of it, that's all."

"I'm being serious, Alice."

"So am I. Romance is my forte, baby. I've devoted centuries to exploring it's
mysteries, and if there's one thing I've learnt it's this; to an ardent heart
even the most frivolous fancy becomes true love. And I do love you, Bella. I do
truly love you,"

Her lips covered mine. I let my eyes fall shut and my mouth fall open. Her
tongue slithered in dripping with venom and suddenly I didn't care about
Rosalie, or Victoria, or soulmates anymore. I reached under the covers and
grabbed her naked ass with my fingernails hard enough to make her squeal. Then
she giggled and flipped me over and let me fuck her.

—

We stayed in the hotel two nights and returned home on Monday, missing school.
Mom was almost hysteric, but she was determined not to make a scene with Alice.
She took me aside and tried the reasonable approach. She begged me to be more
responsible, for my sake and Alice's. I promised I would, but in my heart I'd
already began to detach myself from mom. Pretty soon I was going to be a
vampire. Jane and Leah were perfectly able to pretend to be regular girls, but
even as an actual human I couldn't seem to manage it. Alice was struggling,
too.

A strange melancholy had settled over me since our big date. In the days to
come it began to seem less romantic and more barbaric, the way she'd
practically butchered me like that. I'd be perfectly fine with it if Leah or
Jane had done it, because with them it would've been simple and understandable.
But with Alice I had no idea how I was supposed to feel about it. I couldn't
decide if the experience had been a special and meaningful demonstration of the
trust and desire we shared as soulmates or if my girlfriend was simply a blood-
crazed demon who fed me lies to keep my legs open. I just didn't know.

But despite these doubts, my love for her never faltered, not in the slightest.
In fact it only seemed to grow stronger. It felt like I was seeing her more
clearly and accepting her as she really was. And nothing had really changed. It
still thrilled me to peel aside her panties and go down on her whenever I got a
chance and I still loved to hold her hand and cuddle her and make out with her.
I still tingled at her touch and my heart still glowed when she smiled at me.

So why did I feel so sad sometimes?

My moods began to become irregular. With Alice I was cheerful and placid.
Without Alice I was miserable and frustrated. Left alone I'd wonder if Alice
truly loved me, doubtful yet somehow convinced. It was becoming a struggle to
go to classes that didn't have Alice in them. Sitting through history and
staring at the clock over the door, fidgeting like a junkie. I'd find her at
lunch in our abandoned classroom and I'd be relieved to see her, as if worried
she might not be there. Driving home together and tumbling into bed before mom
got home. I began searching her words and actions for symptoms of her true
feelings, but all we seemed to do is fuck and wait to fuck.

Two weeks of this. Alice fed from me almost every night, just little sips. She
consumed my every thought and feeling and my desperation began to manifest in
strange ways. My eyes rarely left Alice when she was in the room and when Alice
was gone my desire seemed to spill over onto anything with a decent ass. I
found myself staring at other girls, lusting for them. In class, in the
hallways. An attractive girl would walk past and I'd spin on the spot to look
at her. In math I couldn't stop glancing at Lauren. The girl's locker room
seemed to hum slightly as I focused on not staring at anyone. Something felt
wrong. I wasn't sure if she loved me anymore and I developed a strange urge to
cheat on her. With someone, anyone. As if that might prove something.

Prom was approaching. Angela was wearing jeans and she was on the decorating
committee. We were talking about it in class and somehow or other I ended up
following her into the gym and helping her paint a banner that would be hung
over the doors. Prom was held in the gym at Forks High and a few balloons and
some streamers was all the glamor one could hope for.

Angela had borrowed a couple pots of paint from the art room and the red didn't
really remind me of blood. It was too bright. Blood's darker than that. Angela
was gabbing happily about something, and we were sitting on the floor at the
base of the bleachers, either side of the sign. There was a basketball game on
the court, but they were all guys, and I didn't care how short their shorts
were. I sighed and swept my eyes over the gym in search of anything more
attractive than Angela and—

My eyes landed on the blonde. Rosalie. She must've had a free period, because
there was no class and no coach, just her. She was working a routine on the
gymnastics mat, dressed in a black one-piece leotard that fit her like a second
skin. I stared at her, admiring her poise as she stretched and twirled, her
body so perfectly graceful and long-limbed. Her long blonde hair was in a
ponytail and it flared outward as she spun.

Her eyes met mine during the routine, but she didn't stop, or flinch, or even
register my presence. She just continued and I just stared, mesmerized. Her
legs were so flexible.

"Alright, stop drooling."

It was Angela who said it. I turned back to her.

"Huh?"

She shook her head, leaning over her sign with the paintbrush. "You were
staring at your girlfriend's sister," she said. "I thought it was only cliché
that lesbians are attracted to every female in their life?"

"I'm not," I lied.

She didn't believe me. "Name one girl in school you're not attracted to," she
challenged.

I turned to steal another glance at the blonde but then I noticed there was
someone with her – Victoria. She was sitting in the bleachers nearby, several
rows up, legs folded one over the other. She was watching her lover on the mat
but she noticed me as I looked over. She smiled and waved with just her
fingers. I frowned, ignoring the sudden gallop in my chest, and turned back to
Angela.

"Victoria," I said, answering her question. "I fucking hate that whore."

"Oh, the girl you cheated with and then lied and said you didn't? That girl?"

I blushed; it was a little more complicated then that, but I shrugged. "Yeah."

Angela shook her head woefully, still focused on her sign. "You're a really
poor example of your orientation, you know that? You're, like, every negative
lesbian cliché rolled into one."

"Not all of them."

"Just the skanky ones."

"Well, yeah."

Angela shook her head again, but she was smiling. She'd loosened up about my
orientation lately, and she was almost totally cool with it. "So I guess you're
going to prom with Alice?" she asked.

I didn't even know if I'd still be human by prom, but I shrugged and said: "I
guess so."

"Have you asked her?"

"No. Do I have to?"

"Are you the guy of your relationship?"

"Well, I'm taller."

"Then you should ask her. It's only romantic."

It seemed to make sense, so I nodded. The basketball game was still going and
we had to talk loudly over the shouting of the team and the thud of the ball on
the floorboards.

Angela touched the paintbrush to the corner of the sign and glanced at me
briefly, almost hesitantly. "What about that Leah chick?" she asked.

I didn't know what she meant. "What about her?"

"Does she have a date for prom yet?"

It seemed like a weird question, so I just shrugged. "I don't know," I said.
"She'll probably go with Jane." Then I remembered that they were supposed to be
sisters, not girlfriends, so I added: "I mean, you know. As friends. Sisters."

Angela didn't notice my slip up. She nodded and remained focused on the sign.
"So she doesn't have a boyfriend?"

"Who?"

"That Leah chick."

She said it with an odd self-consciousness, and I realized there might be a bit
of a girlcrush there. Leah was certainly girlcrush material, tall, athletic,
sexy. But I didn't know if I should encourage her. Dating a vampire was no
fairytale as I knew quite well.

"I don't think so," I said, and because I couldn't help myself I added: "She's
not really into guys."

"Seriously?"

"I think so."

Angela hadn't looked at me, but she was shaking her head in an adult kind of
way, as if it was unbelievable what girls got up to these days. Then she stuck
the paintbrush back in the pot and jumped to her feet. "I gotta go get
something," she said, dusting her hands together. "Be back in a sec."

I watched her ass as she left, but her jeans weren't that tight. She walked
past the basketball court on her way toward the exit and as she did one of the
players fumbled a pass and the ball went rolling across the gym – right toward
Rosalie.

I was curious to see what she'd do. She'd finished her routine and she was
bending at the hip to sort through her gymbag. The ball rolled into the back of
her feet and veered aside. Her round leotard-covered ass was facing the
basketball game and a loud hoot rose as she straightened up and eyed the ball
coldly. The players grinned and called out for her to 'pass the rock, baby,'
but she only swept her eyes over them disdainfully and shrugged her gymbag over
her shoulder and stalked away toward the locker room, all in black like a
panther.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?"

The voice came from behind me and it send chills down my spine. The redhead
sauntered around the sign on the floor and sat on the first bench of the
bleachers, right in front of me. She was looking across the gym where the
blonde was disappearing into the girl's locker room.

"Words hardly do her justice, of course," she said, "but a more appropriate
method of worship would likely get us expelled. I'll always have a special
place in my heart for Alice, but Rosalie is my true queen. Compared to Rosalie,
Alice is but a paper princess."

I wouldn't argue with the majesty of the blonde, but I was reasonably affronted
at the slight to my Alice. "Then why don't you leave her alone?" I said,
glaring up at her.

"That's an interesting question."

"What would be an interesting answer?"

She smiled and gestured with a hand airily. "It's difficult to say," she said.
"I suppose it's a question of ownership, really. Alice belongs to me."

"Alice told me how crazy you are."

"Leaving out her own personality quirks, I'm sure. Come. Let us talk somewhere
more private."

"Alice doesn't want me to talk to you."

"Oh dear," giggled the redhead behind her hand. "Does she think I'm going to
seduce you again?" She was wearing a denim miniskirt and slowly she opened her
knees so I could see inside. I was sitting on the floor, eyelevel to her lap,
and suddenly the thud of my heart was louder than the thud of the basketball
off the backboard. It was dim in the cavern of her skirt but I could see she
was wearing red lace. Heat rose in my cheeks and I tore my eyes away and forced
them up to her face. I was trying to glare at her defiantly, but she only
smirked and closed her legs again. "Rest easy," she said. "I haven't the urge
right now. I only wish to talk. I have a proposal to make. Something you might
be very interested in."

I swallowed a huge lump in my throat. "I'm not interested," I told her.

But she only rose to her feet and smoothed her skirt. "Come now," she said,
"there's no need to be so mistrustful. We're practically sisters, you and I. Or
we will be eventually. Alice would want us to get along. She's a little upset
with me right now, but that will pass when she remembers how much she loves me.
If you're serious about your future with her, you should listen to what I have
to say."

I knew she was a liar and a psycho, but her words made a seductive amount of
sense. Alice and I couldn't avoid her forever, and maybe there was some way we
could work everything out. There had to be some way we could all be friends. So
I hesitated.

"Come," the woman said. "I'll keep my hands to myself, don't worry."

Then she completely violated the claim by extending a hand to help me up. I
looked at the hand, but my fear of wanting her was so strong I wouldn't dare
touch it. I stood up by myself and glared at her truculently, just to make it
clear I wasn't interested in anything to do with her, not even this so-called
proposal. But vampires could smell pheromones and her smile made it equally
clear that she knew exactly what I was interested in. She turned and started
walking. I followed, watching her legs.

She led me into the girls' locker room, which was private enough, considering
it was totally empty. And then suddenly I wondered why we even needed privacy
to begin with. We could've talked just as easily out in the gym. It should've
occurred to me before, but I'd been flustered. Now here I was alone with the
redhead, the one place I've been trying to avoid for the last month.

But not totally alone. There was a shower running and as the redhead led me
around a block of lockers I saw that we had company. It was Rosalie.

She was showering.

Each showerhead had a curtain on a circular rod that could enclose the
occupant, but the blonde had left the curtain open. She stood there under the
faucet, naked, water streaming over her face and body, soap suds rinsing away
from her shapely shoulder and arm. Her blonde hair was dark and stuck to her
back. It was so long it kissed the tips of her buttocks. Her eyes opened and
saw me and then closed again as she swayed under the water.

I glanced at her and glanced wildly at Victoria. I felt like I had walked into
a set up, but neither acted as if this was anything but normal.

"You don't mind if Rosalie overhears, do you?" the redhead asked, gesturing at
the wet goddess. "I have no secrets from my Rosalie and what I have to propose
involves her too."

I already had a bad feeling. I should've just walked out, turned my back and
walked away, but I was overwhelming curious about what she had to say. I was so
sick of waiting for something bad to happen, and I had to know if there was any
way I could make this situation go away. So I fixed my face into a glare,
looking as much as I could like a girl on guard, and said:

"Well? What is it?"

The redhead sighed and gave me a look of warm sympathy. I'm sure the emotion
was as foreign to her as defiance was to me, but she was the far better
actress.

"To be honest," she said, "I'm concerned about Alice. From what I've been told,
she's been very…unstable lately. I'm not blaming you, of course, but I can't
help feel that your current relationship isn't very healthy for her."

"For her?"

"Well, yes. She's fixated on you, dear. It's not normal."

The utter stupidity of her remarks gave me confidence.

"Normal?" I blurted. "You're fucking vampires!"

I'd raised my voice and it echoed in the empty locker room. I felt embarrassed
and I even glanced at the naked blonde in the shower, as if to apologize for
disturbing her. She didn't notice, she just turned under the water and rinsed
out her hair.

The redhead smiled. "True," she said, "but that only makes her situation all
the more sad. Vampire's are peculiar creatures, Miss Swan. We're not designed
to be faithful. Quite the opposite. But Alice has these ideas. She's very
stubborn."

I knew all about Alice's ideas, and frankly I found it noble that she was more
interested in a meaningful monogamous relationship than hopping from bed to bed
like a whore. We were still sluts, of course, and we'd had some slip ups in the
past—include several instances of cheating and a drunk orgy with another
couple—and true, I wasn't even sure if Alice wasn't simply acting out some
fucked up fairytale with me cast as the heroine—

—but at least we were trying.

So I darkened my glare a couple shades and said: "You should be happy she's
finally found someone she loves."

It was suppose to be cutting, something to make her angry or jealous, but her
expression only went more sympathetic, almost genuinely so. "Alice isn't
capable of love," she said. "None of us are. We're vampires. That's what I'm
trying to explain. She says the words and makes the gestures, but in the
end…it's only lust and lies."

Her words were a direct echo of my own fears, but I just shook my head,
crossing my arms stubbornly. "Fine," I said. "I don't care. She wants me.
That's all that matters."

"Yes, but can't you see how unnatural it is for her to pretend? It was amusing
to begin with, but by now the novelty has worn off. She's beginning to believe
her own lies. It's sad. If she continues like this she'll be lost to her family
forever. I want my sister back, Miss Swan. And I'm asking you to return her."

Her voice was smooth and plaintive, her eyes large and earnest. I was almost
moved, but how could I take any of this seriously? She wanted me to dump the
woman I loved so that she could have her submissive fuck-slave back. What right
did she have to ask such a thing?

The shower turned off. I glanced at the sound of the water ceasing and watched
the blonde bend and wring out her hair like a rag. Then she rose abruptly,
flicking her hair over her shoulder. She looked at me coldly and walked over,
naked, glistening with water. I tore my eyes away.

"No," I said to the redhead.

She cocked her head. The naked blonde passed directly between us. "No?"

"No," I repeated, fighting back both a blush and tears. "Alice doesn't like you
anymore. Get over it."

The blonde had taken a towel and she was drying her hair, standing just beside
her lover, watching me with her cold eyes, completely naked. Her perfect
breasts jiggled as she toweled her hair with a careless vigor. It was the
second time I'd seen them and repetition had not dulled their impact. Her
nakedness was maddening and it as hard to concentrate on anything but how
beautiful she was.

Victoria heaved a sigh. "I'm afraid I can't get over it," she said. "Neither
can dear Rosalie. Did you know last week was their anniversary? They were
married that day eighty three years ago. A private ceremony, of course, but
very beautiful. I doubt Alice even remembers in her current state."

I could've told them that she did remember and that she used me as a wife-
substitute, but I just glared. Victoria gave her lover a special glance and
then turned to me.

"What I propose, Miss Swan," she said, "is your immediate acceptance into the
coven. Our position in Forks has degenerated more rapidly than usual. We've all
been a little reckless, and really, it's such a dreary little place. We moved
here for Esme's sake, to indulge her wish of living in a small town, but it's
time we moved on. I'd like to take you with us. And Alice, of course. You'd
have to leave your mother, but a child always does, and as a vampire you'll be
relatively immune to sadness and regret. But don't worry, you'll have time to
say goodbye and provide her with a passable explanation."

I stood frozen. Victoria tilted her beautiful head and stepped forward, just
one step, close enough to lift a hand and touch the backs of her knuckles
against my cheek tenderly.

"I want you to become one of my lovers," she whispered. "You and Alice. I told
you once that any friend of Alice's is a friend of mine. I meant it. Return her
to me and join her as her sister. Forget this soulmate nonsense."

I staggered backward, away from her touch. I bumped into the cold block of
lockers. My heart was wild in my chest and it took me a moment to remember her
name.

"Alice," I said. "Alice doesn't…"

She nodded understandingly before I could continue. "Yes, you'll have to talk
about it with Alice," she said. "Do that. I'd speak to her myself, but she's
such a drama queen lately. Let her know that I only want what's best for her.
For you, as well. Things could be so perfect if only she'd accept the
inevitable."

"What inevitable?"

"This."

She closed the distance between us in an instant and pressed her lips to mine.
I squealed into her mouth and jerked my head back but all I did was make a dent
in the locker behind me. She pushed her lips harder against mine and suddenly I
put my hands against her chest and pushed. She stumbled back surprisingly easy,
but smiling, unworried.

"You disgusting bitch," I hissed.

I spat on the floor, but it was myself I was disgusted with. The blonde smirked
at me, silently suggesting that I should've been more grateful for the kiss,
and the redhead suddenly snatched me by the hair and pulled me into her. A
moaned and tried to squirm away but I couldn't. My face was mashed into hers
and she spoke directly into my mouth.

"Alice thinks she can make you're relationship special by claiming it's
special. She talks about destiny, but if destiny meant to interfere on her
behalf would it not have done so by now? Would it not have kept you from my
clutches and preserved the purity of your devotion to her? Hm?"

"Fuck you," I spat.

My lips had moved against hers as I spoke, making my insides curdle even as my
pussy flared with excitement. She pushed her breasts against me and brushed her
lips against mine, side to side, slowly, deliberately.

"You'll have to forgive me. In order to conquer Alice, I must first conquer
you. She must be made to understand how flimsy your bond truly is."

I struggled, but she only tightened her hand in my hair, making me cry out from
the pain.

"Calmly, my dear," she whispered. "As I said, this is inevitable…"

Her tongue slid into my mouth. I moaned in disgust and squirmed helplessly. I
wanted so badly to simply give up and do whatever she wanted me to, but it
wasn't right, it wasn't Alice. I resisted, and finally got my hands between our
bodies and thrust her away. Her lips ripped away from mine and she stumbled
backward, a handful of dark hair in her fist. My scalp burned from where the
hair had been pulled from the roots.

"I'm going to call the police," I gasped, staggering backwards. "I'm going to…"

"To what, dear?"

I should've run, just turned around and ran as fast as I could, but some flimsy
defiance rooted me to the spot. When I left, I wanted to leave on my own terms,
but when I opened my mouth I found myself begging.

"Please," I said. "Just leave me alone. Why can't you just leave us alone?"

She smiled and shared a glance with the blonde. The blonde had her arms folded
under her breasts and a haughty look on her face, as if she thought I was too
stupid to really understand what was happening. The redhead turned back to me
and smiled.

"You're a sweet girl, Miss Swan," she said, "so I'm going to make this easy for
you. Submit of your own free will. Everything will work out fine in the end,
trust me. Alice will forgive you, your relationship will survive, and we'll all
be happy together. All you have to do is submit."

I was already shaking my head.

"Think about it, Miss Swan. Alice's feelings for you are fake and unnatural and
they will fall apart before long. Monogamy is not possible for a vampire.
Eventually her thirst will either kill you or turn you. If you die, she'll move
on and find a different vessel for her fantasies. If you turn she'll eventually
become jealous of the women you feed from, and sooner or later she'll decide
that you were never her soulmate to begin with. I've seen it happen. It
happened to me, it happened to Jane, it happened to Esme. It happened to
Rosalie."

Her words hurt so much it felt like they'd make my ears bleed. Tears started
falling down my face, but I still didn't run. Rosalie was watching me coldly
and I remembered Alice's story of how they got together. How Alice had thought
they were soulmates until Victoria got involved. Then she met me.

"And now it's happening to you," the redhead said. "And the only difference
between you and the rest of us, is the fact that Alice has grown old,
unbalanced, and desperate for drama. Do you truly believe she wants to live
happily ever after? With you, as a regular couple? No. She doesn't want a happy
ending. It's the ending itself she craves. Why else would she throw herself
onto you so completely? She knows that I'll never give up on her. She knows I'd
rather see her dead than in the arms of another. Don't you see? I was prepared
to wait, to let your relationship run its natural course, but this charade has
gone on long enough. It pains me to see you both in the grip of your pathetic
illusions. Submit to me, Miss Swan. Things will be so perfect if you'll only
submit."

"I can't."

"You can. Why be loyal at this point? You owe her nothing. She lied to you and
in doing so she betrayed us both. You love her, I understand. You know no
better. But why not love me instead? I'm a greater woman than her in every
respect, surely you realize. You'll be happy with me, I promise."

"You're fucking crazy."

"Not at all, Miss Swan. I'm simply a woman who knows what she wants. Come.
There's no need for you and I to be on bad terms. Embrace me as your sister."

She spread her arms as if she thought I'd actually do it. But I just shook my
head. My face was wet with tears and my heart was like an ember in my chest,
pulsing painfully in my ribcage with each breath. I didn't have one feeling I
was certain about but there was no way I was going to give this disgusting
bitch what she wanted.

"I trust Alice," I said. "I'll never cheat on her."

The blonde still had her arms folded under her naked breasts. She was watching
my emotional turmoil with something like amusement. She glanced at her mistress
and her mistress shook her head sadly.

"I see you're determined to be stubborn," she said. "That's fine. In fact, why
don't we have some fun with it? You see, I think you've misunderstood your
situation somewhat, Miss Swan. I offered you a choice merely to offer you a
choice. But as I said, I must have you—with your consent or without it."

Funnily, the threat took me by surprise. I looked between them as if maybe I
hadn't heard properly. "You're going to rape me?" I asked, my voice breaking on
the word rape.

"I'm afraid so."

My blood turned to ice. My brow puckered in confusion as I looked between them
again, searching for signs that I'd misunderstood. "You can't," I said meekly.

"Oh, nothing simpler," the redhead said. "I dare say you'll even enjoy it."

And smiling, she advanced toward me.

"No," I said, starting backwards. "No!"

I went to run, but she grabbed my wrist. I slipped and sprawled against the
floor. The redhead stepped on my back with her heeled boot, forcing me down. I
twisted in the tiles like a snake and finally broke away. I started to crawl
but the redhead seized the back of my head by the hair and pulled me around
roughly. She knelt down behind me and pinned my arms behind my back. I was
sitting in the locker room floor with her arms hooked around mine, holding me
down. I thrashed and groaned and she leaned to my ear and hissed:

"Shut up."

It was the harshest thing she'd said to me since I'd walked into the locker
room and the cold authority in her voice froze me as obediently as if I'd
practiced. The blonde had smiled at all this and now she sauntered up and
squatted in front of me with her legs open so that her pussy was completely
exposed. A white hot bolt of lust struck directly into my core and my voice
came weak and without any real resistance.

"Get away from me," I said.

The redhead chuckled breathily into my ear. "You and Rosalie have never got
along so well, have you?" she whispered. "The poor thing has been so jealous of
you for taking Alice away from us. But I think it's time you got to know each
other a little better. Would you like for her to eat your pussy, Miss Swan?
She'll do it if I tell her."

But she didn't have to tell her. The blonde received these orders with no
change in her expression and keeping her cold blue eyes locked on mine she
placed her hands on my knees. I was wearing a pleated black miniskirt and I
groaned helplessly as she forced open my legs to reveal my horny pussy. There
was nothing between me and her but a flap of skirt and a thin strip of black
panties.

"Oh god," I said. "Please. Don't do this."

"I'm afraid we must," Victoria whispered into my ear. "It'll prove a point to
Alice and besides…it'll be fun."

I moaned; the blonde had already knelt her lips between my legs and she was
licking at the front of my panties.

—

***** Chapter 20 *****
—

Chapter 20:

—

I've read a lot of romance novels, and never once had I seen a heroine get
raped. Real-life tends to be a little more harsh, of course, but still; it's
not something you ever expect to happen to you.

"Attempted" rape is a common cliché in novels, of course, but it never goes
beyond the attempt. Usually the hero shows up in the nick of time to save the
girl and wisk her away in the saddle of a pale gray stallion as she buries her
distressed and tearstained face in the chiseled bosom of his manly chest. I
suppose that's what sucks about being a lesbian. You aren't even eligible for a
knight in shining armor. I suppose it was possible for Alice to come galloping
through the locker room in metal-bikini armor, sword drawn to lop heads and
rescue her one true love, but somehow it didn't seem likely.

In any case, as far as getting raped goes, it could've been worse. They weren't
men, for instance. I'm sure most girls would be horrified at the idea of being
raped by another woman, but luckily for me, I had the advantage of being a
slutty lesbian with a latent taste for sexual humiliation. I'm not saying I
enjoyed it, but in all honesty, it wasn't the most traumatic experience of my
life. My horror was mostly limited to the fact that I was being forced to have
sex with someone other than Alice, and even that shock was mitigated somewhat
by the fact that being raped isn't quite the same thing as cheating.

At the very least, I didn't actually cooperate. But it's difficult to be proud
of that, since having my resistance broken, feeble as it was, was one of the
hotter aspects of the experience. The blonde began by going down on me and at
first I tried to kick her away. Well, maybe not at first. At first I was kind
of paralyzed by the fact that this gorgeous woman, this woman who hated my guts
and probably wanted me dead, was kneeling naked between my legs like a cat as
she poked at my swollen clit with her tongue through the flimsy fabric of my
panties. My legs were understandably weakened, but strength came back to me
when I felt the redhead's tongue in my ear. It was a bit startling, and a bit
icky, and suddenly I lashed out, kicking and screaming. But a hand clamped down
over my mouth instantly and I felt a searing pain in my breast. The redhead was
pinching my tit. She told me to be quiet and be a good girl. I tried to thrash
away once more, but her pinch was surprisingly painful, and suddenly I went
limp. I'm sure a nobler heroine would've resisted to her very last breath, but
it really did hurt, and I've always had sensitive breasts.

So I gave up, at least for the moment. It wasn't exactly a knife to my throat,
but it seemed more logical to simply lay back in the redhead's arms and stare
passively at the ceiling as I felt the blonde remove my panties. Victoria's
body was warm and soft and she smelt wonderful. She was kissing my cheek and
whispering things. The blonde was going down on me. The pain in my boob was
fading and her touch had become far gentler. She'd lifted my top and I had no
bra on. She was pinching and plucking my nipples, kissing my neck and shoulder,
and the blonde's tongue was wriggling inside me. I let them keep going until
they were done and they were only done after I climaxed.

I tried to hold it back, but that only made it more bigger, more powerful. It
was amazing, frankly, and as I recovered it actually occurred to me that it
would've been great if I met Victoria before Alice. A girl could get used to
this.

It got slightly more humiliating after that, and I tried my hand at resisting
again. The redhead lifted her top and commanded me to suck her tits. The blonde
had already crawled over and taken one in her mouth. Ordinarily, I'd love to
oblige. I'm a reciprotory girl. For me, sex is ninety-nine percent about the
other person. But under the rape-like circumstances of today's encounter, I
thought I could be excused for being slightly withholding. My skirt had been
removed, so basically I was naked aside from my top, which was pulled up over
my breasts, and my boots, which were knee-high but not really concealing. I
suppose some girls might've ran away regardless, but honestly, I thought it was
better to be humiliated in here than in front of the basketball game that was
still going on out there. I tend to be a little prudish with boys.

But still, I didn't cooperate. I sat there in the locker room floor, covering
my exposed areas with my hands, glaring sullenly at the massive tit I was
supposed to crawl over and suck. The blonde had one of the redhead's nipples
between her lips and as she sucked it she opened her eyes and looked at me. She
stroked the other breast and angled it toward me, as if to invite me over. But
I didn't budge. Her cold blue eyes narrowed, and then she came over, grabbed my
hair, and forced my face into her mistress's tit.

It wasn't the worst thing I'd ever had in my mouth. Mom's cooking could be more
offensive sometimes. So I started sucking. I wondered if I should've tried
biting her, but that seemed a little too feisty for me, and I guess I don't
really enjoy hurting women, even the one's who are hurting me.

I had no idea when the next PE class was due, but the redhead didn't waste too
much time on foreplay. She indulged herself with a dual tit sucking for a
minute or two, a bit of light petting, and then she lay me down and sat on my
face, hiking up her denim miniskirt and peeling aside her panties. Her pussy
looked incredibly tantalizing, but once more I attempted a flimsy bit of
resistance by simply glaring up at her grudgingly. But it wasn't the most
empowering position, to be sat on by a half-naked slut, and I don't know much
defiance I managed to communicate. In any case, it didn't move her. She
chuckled and stroked my hair and tried to make me do it willingly. But I
didn't, so she shrugged and started tribbing against my mouth. The smothering
scent of her musky arousal invaded my head and made me hungry, but somehow I
managed to keep my tongue in my mouth.

When she was done she dismounted and allowed the blonde her turn. I was forced
to lick this time. The redhead had set herself up between my legs, and of
course by this point I was horny again, so the pussy she revealed by opening my
thighs was moist and waiting. She proposed that she'd be happy to take care of
me if I took care of the blonde, but I still didn't do it. So she slapped at
the inside of my thighs as if I was being a pest and then she started pinching
the back of my leg until I did it. I didn't appear to have much choice, so I
lifted my lips to the blonde's luscious pussy and started eating her out. The
pinching stopped as soon as the blonde started moaning and after a few seconds
I felt a pair of lips on my own pussy followed by the luxurious lick of a
tongue across my clit. But because the redhead is such an evil fucking whore,
she didn't even make me come. She stopped as soon as the blonde dismounted,
leaving me horny, humiliated, and extremely pissed.

But at least it was over. Orgasms achieved, my charming rapists tossed me my
skirt and smiled at how I scrabbled into it desperately. I was blushing madly
and still mega horny. I could've fled the moment I had my skirt on—after
pulling my top down over my breasts, of course—but I wanted my panties back
too. It was a short skirt, and besides, it seemed silly to flee in terror at
this point. And, if I was being completely honest, I had to admit I found
something fascinating in watching the blonde get dressed.

She did it very gracefully and mechanically, strangely unhurried as if this
were all part of her day. White bra, white underwear. Her body was completely
gorgeous and I tried to hate her, I really did, but I couldn't. I almost felt
sad that she'd been forced to rape me. Considering the gap between us in how
hot we were, maybe she was the real victim.

"Well," said the redhead, pulling her top down over her breasts. She then
cupped them in her hands and moved them around, as if to make them fit better,
smiling at me as she did so. "I suppose we're done for now. Unless you'd like
some more?"

The incomplete orgasm was still burning between my legs, so maybe that was
supposed to be funny. I didn't laugh. The redhead chuckled lightly, a pleasant
sound that echoed off the lockers.

"Oh, don't be so sullen, my dear," she said. "You know you liked it. You were
supposed to. Be sure to make that fact crystal clear to Alice when you collapse
into her arms to weep away your soiled heart."

The mention of Alice rankled me. There was something extra humiliating about
being raped as a means of hurting your girlfriend. The redhead was truly evil –
it would've been sweeter if she only did it because I was too sexy to resist.

But I wasn't about to admit I was jealous over something so wrong and
ridiculous, so I simply glared and let my anger manifest in Alice's defense.
"You don't own her," I growled.

"Excuse me?"

"Just because you turned her, doesn't mean you own her. She's allowed to see
whoever she wants."

It was a petty argument, but strangely it seemed to affect them both. The
redhead's smile faded somewhat and she tilted her head to eye me curiously. The
blonde paused while brushing her hair and glanced back at her mistress.

"Turned her?" said the redhead. "Is that what she told you?"

It was like a cold wind blew over me.

Alice lied.

Again.

"Yes," I said, pretending to be confident. "Why?"

But the redhead only smiled and gestured with her hand. "Oh, no reason," she
said. "Alice has always had a generous memory. It's one of her more endearing
traits, really."

I didn't know what to think. Why would Alice lie about being turned by
Victoria? It made so much sense, given their relationship. Did she have
something to hide or was she just a plain liar?

Rosalie had bent to fetch my panties and now she held them out to me. She was
at least three of four inches taller and she was looking down her perfect nose
at me with a certain superiority. She seemed a bit high and mighty for a sex
slave, so I snatched my panties back and glared at her.

"Alice killed your rapists and you weren't even her soulmate," I said. "What do
you think she'll do to mine?"

It was a decent threat, but my delivery might've been robbed of menace somewhat
by the awkwardness of pulling on my panties at the same time. In any case, she
didn't seem alarmed. She simply smiled a cold smile and said: "Do I look
worried?"

There was nothing to say to that, nothing left to say at all, so I turned on my
heel and strode out.

As I emerged into the gym, there was a PE class just entering, a crop of girls
on their way to the locker room. If they'd been ten minutes earlier, they
could've saved me, or even joined in. Actually, that would be great fantasy
material. It was fun with the blonde and redhead, but maybe being raped by the
whole volleyball team would be even hotter. Some of those chicks were really
cute.

Angela was back at her sign with two new fresh pots of paint. Too bad she
hadn't gotten a bad feeling when she saw I was gone and come looking for me.
Then again, when a friend goes missing for a moment or two at school one
doesn't automatically suppose she's being raped in the locker room by sexy
lesbian vampires. It was more logical to assume she'd gone back to class or to
the bathroom.

I sat down opposite and plucked up one of the paintbrushes. This was so stupid.
I didn't even want to go prom, anyway.

"Hey," Angela said when she noticed me, her voice light and full of casualness.
"Where were you?"

I opened my mouth to say something and closed it again. The question startled
me back into reality and a weird feeling washed over me as I suddenly realized
what I was doing. I'd just been raped by my girlfriend's ex…and now I was
carrying on with my day as if nothing happened?

It didn't seem right. Something else should be happening. Obviously, something
had to be done about this latest affront against my honor – but what? I glanced
about the gym, as if looking for an answer, but I saw nothing but a basketball
game and girls filing out of the locker room in their gym shorts. Nice asses,
some of them, but none of that was an actual solution to the question of what I
was supposed to do now.

"You okay?" Angela asked, looking at me with concern. "You look a little
weird."

I felt a little weird, too, and without replying I put the paintbrush back into
the pot, stood up, and walked out.

I left my bag, my books, even my cellphone. I just walked right out the front
gates and started home. Chief among my thoughts was what I was going to tell
Alice, but the whole subject seemed a little uneasy. How exactly does one
mention to her girlfriend that she'd been raped at school by two of her
sisters? Especially when the girlfriend in question was an unpredictable
vampire who's reaction could range anywhere from destroying said sisters to
even accusing me of liking it.

It started raining on the way home, which was typical enough. After all, it's
not as if I haven't suffered enough lately. Might as well be wet too. I seemed
to be having a pretty shitty day. First I'd been pinched in several sensitive
places and now I was all wet – is it any wonder I find the whole idea of life
overrated? Still, life teaches us that there's always a bright side to every
unhappy situation if you look at it from the right angle, and after a couple
minutes of earnest contemplation I realized that I couldn't possibly get
pregnant. Thank god – I'm so relived. I don't believe in abortion and bringing
another demonic redhead into this world would've been more than I could bare.
Even the visual was disturbing.

By the time I got home I was totally soaked, but at least the venom in my
system kept me from getting too cold. I went for a shower right away, concerned
about scent and remembering how wonderful the redhead had smell. It was a bad
thing to think about, because it also made me remember her warmth and softness,
her touch, her tongue, the sexy authority in her eyes as she flaunted her
supremely beautiful body and made me do things to it. Such an evil bitch, the
way she'd teased me with a second orgasm like that, bringing me all the way to
the edge and then just stopping. No decency, just none at all. A total
barbarian. And now here I was in the shower, naked and wet and frustrated that
my rapist had been so completely sadistic that she only made me come once. Is
it because she didn't like me? Am I not hot enough? Granted, the interrupted
orgasm wasn't my biggest problem right now, but it really seemed like a mean
thing to do. Below even the redhead's standards.

But oh well. Obviously, my mental process had been jarred somewhat by this
latest trauma. Nevertheless, I found it difficult to concentrate with that
persistent ache between my legs. So I went ahead and touched myself, replaying
the scene in my head, but tweaking it slightly so that the redhead apologized
with a lovely tongue kiss before admitting she only did it because she was
totally in love with me and wanted me forever. It turned consensual after that.

A bitter fantasy, considering the truth was opposite. Alice was the
irresistible one; I was just the knife the redhead was using to stab her in the
back.

I got changed after the shower and a bit of clarity returned to me as I tossed
and turned in my bed, wondering what I was supposed to do now. I could call the
police, I suppose, but that seemed a little dramatic, and in the end, it was my
word against hers. Besides, I honestly doubt the redhead would allow herself to
be arrested. I'm sure she'd make plenty of friends in prison, but one shower
every seventy-two hours wouldn't be very good for her beautiful red hair. In
any case, it was probably best to keep the episode as secret as possible. I
certainly didn't want mom to know. She was worried enough already.

But Alice, Alice was the problem. Poor Alice. How could the redhead do this to
her? She's going to be so devastated. She'll be happy to hear that I resisted
as best I could—I might have to exaggerate that a little—but she's not going to
be happy that I had another woman's pussy smeared all over my face. I wasn't
happy about it either, even though my stomach gave a little lurch of excitement
at the memory.

Would she see me as stained, tainted? The last time another woman touched me
she'd ran back to the very woman who'd done the touching, convinced I wasn't
her soulmate. What if she feels the same way this time? True, I'd resisted, but
let's be real; I loved it. Alice had already demonstrated how unrealistic her
expectations of me were; soulmates don't cheat. Ever. Even when raped, you'd
have to assume. And maybe she was right. I mean, it makes sense, really. I
should've fought harder. Much harder. I should've fought with every ounce of my
strength, to my very last breath, thrashing and screaming and finally dying
with my lover's name on my lips and a relatively dry pussy.

But I didn't. I made some token resistance, but mostly I just loved it. Oh god,
I'm such a slut. How could being raped be so amazing? Maybe that's the worst
thing. Maybe I'm not even worried if Alice would forgive me; maybe I'm mostly
worried that I wish the redhead had kept me.

But no, that's crazy. I gotta think straight and figure out what to tell Alice.
She'd forgive me, she loves me too much to hate me for something like this.
Maybe it'll be like her and Rosalie. Rosalie had been raped and Alice had
avenged her. Maybe she would do the same thing for me.

But Rosalie was different, wasn't she? She'd resisted. Truly resisted. She'd
resisted herself directly into ICU with broken bones and massive internal
injuries. Of course Alice would feel sorry for her and rush out to avenge her.
But me? What did I have to show for my resistance? A bruised boob and a desire
to masturbate in the shower because it was so awesome. Yeah, great Bella. Some
victim you are.

But was it really my fault? It's a completely different context. I don't want
to make light of another woman's sufferings, of course, but if I'd been raped
by a bunch of drunk guys as opposed to two sexy lesbian vampires, I'm pretty
sure I would've managed a great deal more resistance. In fact, I would've
gladly jumped out a fifth story window to get out of it.

I mean, is it really my fault the blonde and redhead are so hot? Can I truly be
blamed for climaxing under such conditions? And let's not forget that these
chicks are vampires. They hadn't actually threatened to kill me if I resisted,
but it was logical to assume, wasn't it? Maybe that's why I'd caved so easily.
Because I was scared. Yeah, maybe that's it.

Oh, who am I kidding? Alice is never going to forgive me. Soulmates don't
cheat, and she's right. I should've resisted more. This is hopeless. I'm a
slut. Maybe I should just go back to school and submit to the redhead properly.
It seems sex is all I'm good for, anyway. I'd be the crappiest lay in the
stable, but my tits would be the biggest.

Maybe I should just keep it secret and not even tell Alice. Maybe—

Wait a second. Secret?

I'd been laying on my bed, but as the thought hit me, I sat up. Actual hope
flooded through me. It seemed so simple, so elegant, so perfect.

Secret.

If I kept it secret, everything would be fine. Me and Alice would continue as
if nothing ever happened and, and…

And then? What happens when she does find out?

But there's no guarantee that she will. She doesn't speak to her family
anymore, not even in texts or on the phone. And she won't go near Victoria or
Rosalie. It could work. All I'd have to do is—

Lie.

Oh. Yeah, I guess I'd have to lie. Or at least omit. But considering all the
things that Alice had lied or omitted about in our relationship, could I really
be blamed, just this once, about this one little thing?

It was really for the best. The redhead was psycho, crazy, insane. She said
herself that she'd rather see Alice dead than with me, and if it came down to a
fight, the redhead had the height and weight advantage. She also seemed much
meaner. It was probably best to just not mess with her. Best to just—

Run away?

Yeah. Leave Forks, just me and Alice. We could go somewhere the redhead will
never find us and we'll be happy, just me and her. But would she do it? Would
she leave her family? She loves them so much, and even though she's fighting
with them right now, there's still centuries of history between them. And
despite her claims about not being interested in anyone but me, she still shows
a grudging interest in the blonde and redhead. She pretend to hate them, but
deep down she misses them. And she was pretty quick to do group sex with Jane
and Leah, wasn't she? She even tried to get affectionate with Esme and
Carlisle. Maybe Victoria was right. Maybe monogamy is unnatural for a vampire.
Maybe deep down she's pretending it's only me she wants.

But why? It's not like I'm too closed-minded to let her have sex with her
sisters. Especially at this point. I mean, we've already established that love
isn't a fairytale. Why not fuck your whole family? Hell, why not share me with
them, too? After all, I'm a total slut, so it's not like I'd complain.

I just wish I knew what the hell was running through Alice's pretty little
mind. Why did she lie about being turned by Victoria? Why is she so determined
to be faithful when it's not even in her nature? Why—

Suddenly the rain outside got louder as the window slid open.

It was Alice.

She crawled through the window, wet but not soaked, and saw me sitting on the
bed. "Baby?" she said, turning to close the window, keeping her worried eyes on
me. "What's wrong? I was waiting forever in the parking lot but you never
came."

I had no idea how I was going to handle this, but it felt natural to pretend to
be natural, so I stood up from the bed and waved a hand. "Yeah, I came home." I
said. "Sorry."

She hugged me. She smelt like rain and Alice, a beautiful mixture. I closed my
eye and inhaled her scent. Just like that, I forgot all about the redhead, and
my head was filled with Alice, Alice, Alice.

"Thank god you're okay," she said. "I was so worried. I thought Vicky had done
something."

My heart quickened. So she didn't know. That was good. Wasn't it?

"Nah," I said. "I just had a headache."

She pulled away to peer into my face, her expression startlingly similar to
mom's when she'd be trying to decide if I need an ambulance. I managed a smile,
but I felt pale and feverish.

"Really?" Alice said. "There's nothing wrong?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I said. "Just tired."

Alice didn't seem entirely satisfied, but she let her hands drop from my
shoulders. "Well, next time take your phone, okay? You have no idea how worried
I was. You're just lucky I know you well enough to know that you probably left
it in your locker. I was calling the home phone too, but I guess you didn't
hear."

"Sorry," I said, blushing as I realized how cute it was that she was so
concerned about me. Like a mini-mom. I wonder if it was genuine? Vampire's
don't feel empathy, but if they feel possessiveness, then I guess it was
possible for them to panic over their possessions.

Alice smiled with her rain-speckled face. "You should've called me," she told
me. "We could've skipped together."

I shrugged, as if this possibility had slipped my mind. But in truth I just
didn't want to admit that one of those skipped periods was used to enjoy being
raped in the girl's locker room.

"Are you feeling better now?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yeah," I said, and I meant it. Alice was magic on me. Addiction or
not, I loved the creepy little bitch. I didn't care what her family said about
how she didn't love me and how it wouldn't last. I was going to hold onto her
for as long as I could.

Alice smiled and put her hands at my waist, a subtle caress. "Maybe baby's been
having too much sex," she said. "Maybe she needs to slow down."

I smiled and touched her hands. "I don't think so."

"No?"

"No," I said, and kissed her. Alice moaned and leaned into me, wrapping her
arms around my neck. The rain pattered against the window. Her wet scent
swirled in my head. I broke the kiss and looked into her eyes, perfectly placid
as if drugged from her kiss. "I love you, Alice."

"I love you too, baby."

We shared a moment of eye contact, just smiling at each other. Then she giggled
and urged me at the bed. "Now hurry up and get your clothes off so can I fuck
you," she said, and since I seemed to have a weakness for dominant women, I did
as she asked.

Our clothes fell to the floor and Alice giggled into my arms, naked and smooth.
We tumbled onto the bed and made love, simple love with the rain rattling
against the window. Through some mysterious insight, either as a girlfriend or
a vampire, Alice could tell my pussy had been tampered with during the day, and
I was forced to admit I may've gotten sidetracked in the shower. She pouted and
admonished me for squandering an orgasm so recklessly and suggested that in the
future I should make more of an effort to make sure they all belong to her. She
then grinned and asked if I'd at least been thinking of her, and it broke my
heart to lie, but I told her I was.

Afterwards, we snuggled up under the covers in our usual cuddle position with
her flat on top of me, smothering me in her warmth and softness as she liked to
do. Her face was buried in the crook of my neck and for a while we just lay
silently, listening to the rain. Then I said:

"Alice?"

"Mm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

She lifted her face to look at me. She always looked so beautiful after sex,
her face mellower, her lips a little paler somehow. I had no idea how I was
going to handle the situation with the redhead, but in the pit of my stomach I
knew that I couldn't tell Alice. I just couldn't. Someway I had to convince her
to leave with me, but as soon as I looked up into her pretty eyes, I was
suddenly struck with doubt.

What if she doesn't love me enough?

So flickered my eyes away and back again. "I was just wondering," I said. "Are
you happy with me?"

The question made her grin radiantly. "Of course I am, silly," she said. "I
love you. I've never been happier in my life than when I'm with you. You're
everything to me, baby?"

She'd said it so sweetly and lovingly that it made my eyes water. My arms were
around her waist, stroking her slim back. ""What about your family?" I asked.
"Don't you miss them?"

But she passed this off as nothing. "They'll understand eventually," she said.
"They just need some time to realize that I'm done fucking around. From now on,
it's all Bella, all the time."

She punctuated this with a kiss, but I didn't feel better.

"Victoria won't understand," I said.

Her lips paused against mine. I couldn't tell if her heart fluttered. Then she
disconnected them and smiled at me casually. "Well, maybe she will," she said.
"Deep down I think she does love me. In her own way. In the end, she'll realize
she only wants me to be happy. She's not an evil woman, just kind of
possessive."

Either she was lying to me or deluding herself. Because I knew the truth. The
redhead will stop at nothing to get Alice back. This was just the beginning,
foreplay. She'd probably even kill me eventually. She talked about killing
Alice, but somehow I got the impression that she preferred Alice alive – and in
her arms.

I was worried, very worried, and I tried to suggest it to Alice without
mentioning what happened today. "What if she doesn't?" I asked. "What if she'll
never stop until she has you back?" I swallowed and added: "What if she hurts
me?"

Alice's expression went sad. She looked into my eyes, but she didn't know what
to say. The rain clattered on the window for a while and then I said:

"I've been thinking."

"About what?"

"I want you to turn me," I said. I hadn't been aware I was going to say it, but
as it came out it felt right, like a real solution. So I went on. "As soon as
possible. I'm just sick of waiting, you know? I want to be with you for real. A
real partner. And I want you to leave your family. Especially Victoria. I want
to go somewhere they'll never find us, where it'll be just me and you. I mean,
isn't that what you want?"

An edge of hysteria crept into my voice as it all came pouring out, and the
last part almost sounded like an accusation, as if it was her fault she hadn't
thought of this already. And as I said it, I realized that maybe it really was
her fault. None of this would've happened if she didn't have such a juvenile
taste for drama.

But I couldn't really blame her. I loved her. She had her flaws, but she was so
perfect, and my eyes went big and pleading as I gazed up at her, desperate for
her to say yes, to take me away somewhere, away from everything. For a second
she simply watched my face. I could feel the unshed tears in my eyes, but I
didn't let any of them fall, and after a while she smiled a thoughtful smile,
nodded, and said:

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Well, sure," she said, her smile widening as the idea grew in her mind. "I
mean, I think we're ready. I'd been hoping to patch things up with my sisters,
but maybe it's better like this. If you have to leave your family, it's only
fair I leave mine, too, right?"

A wave of sheer hopeful bliss crashed over me and I started crying from relief,
from the sudden certainty that everything really was going to be okay.
"Really?"

She giggled at my reaction and wiped my tears with her thumb. "Of course,
baby," she assured me. "It's about time we had our happily ever after. It's
been a little stressful lately, hasn't it?"

I almost whimpered with love as I gazed at her with absolute devotion in my
tear-filled eyes. "Thank you, Alice," I said. "This means so much to me. I love
you."

She smiled and brushed hair from my forehead. "I love you too, baby," she said.
"I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this. I should've taken you away a
long time ago. I was stupid. I thought I could have you and my family both. But
by now I guess it's pretty obvious that I have to choose. And I choose you,
Bella. Now and always."

She kissed me, but there was so much happiness inside me that it burbled out as
a giggle. She giggled too and wiped away a couple more of my tears. My mind was
racing with hope for the future and suddenly I said:

"When can you do it?"

"You mean turn you?"

I nodded eagerly. She shrugged a naked shoulder.

"Whenever you want."

"Can we do it now?"

She giggled. "Well, not now," she said. "It's not like changing your top or
getting a haircut. Besides, shouldn't we make it special?"

A little of my hope dimmed at the idea of any delay at all, but I wanted to
make her happy, so I forced myself to ask: "How?"

"Well, why don't we do it on prom night?" she suggested. "I think that would be
romantic."

It probably would be, but my insides tightened and I groped for an excuse. "I
don't know," I said. "I mean, I don't even want to go to prom. We'd only get
stared at, anyway. Besides, I don't even want to go to school anymore. I can't
bare to even look at that whore anymore. I just wanna get out of here, Alice.
You don't have to turn me tonight, but can't we just leave? You have money,
right? Can't we just get in the car and drive, just get out of here?"

Alice looked at me thoughtfully, as if wondering why I was so desperate, but
before she answered we heard the carport door rise as mom pulled up in the
driveway.

"Fuck," I muttered, genuinely distressed, but not because of mom. We jumped out
of bed and started scrabbling into our clothes, and I knew I had to say
something, quickly, something that would make her understand that we had to go,
NOW, before it was too late, before—

"Let's not rush things, okay baby?" Alice said, zipping up her jeans. "Turning
you has to be special and I'm not gonna let Vicky ruin that. Don't worry about
her. I'll never let her hurt you, okay?"

But she had hurt me, she IS hurting me, and—

"Alice—"

I didn't know what I was going to say, but I didn't get to say anything. The
front door opened and closed downstairs and Alice placed a quick kiss on my
lips. My heart felt like it was ripping in half from worry, but she only smiled
and winked.

"We'll talk later," she promised. "Let's go say hi to your mom."

—

But we didn't really talk, not about what was really bothering me. Alice was
somehow convinced that turning me on prom night would be the perfect conclusion
to our turbulent courtship, and under other circumstances, I would've agreed
with her. But with that psychotic redhead running loose with her blonde and
sexy accomplice, I felt that it might be better if we just got the fuck out of
here as quickly as possible. I tried to suggest this without sounding
suspicious, but she only told me I was being silly. She wanted me to enjoy my
last week as a human and to make the most of it with mom.

So we did. It was the weekend and when we weren't alone we were with mom. We
went to the store with her and watched movies with her. We helped her with
chores and in the kitchen. She didn't know that I'd skipped half of Friday, but
there was so much she didn't know about me. And soon I'd be leaving her. I must
be the most awful, ungrateful daughter that ever lived, but even as I hugged
her knowing that it would be one of the last times, I couldn't muster any real
longing to stay. I had to get out of here – with Alice. I felt bad for mom, but
maybe she'd be better without me. I hoped she would be. She deserved better.

Prom was next weekend. I had to keep my secret for five days at school, but I
thought I could do it. It would depend on how much the Cullen's knew, which I
hoped was nothing. Tactical rape wasn't really a topic you'd gossip about with
your sisters, so it seemed reasonable to hope that the redhead wouldn't even
tell them. Alice still had some contact with her sisters at school, especially
Jane, and I couldn't afford to have Jane blurt out some hurtful remark about my
stolen virtue like the demonic little sadist that she is.

But mostly it was the redhead I was worried about. The only reason she'd done
it was to provoke a reaction out of Alice, and when she found out that Alice
didn't even know, what's to stop her from simply walking up and telling her?
Certainly not discretion – but maybe pride might keep her mouth closed, at
least for a week. After all, she'd obviously been hoping to cause friction
between us, and despite her dominant nature, she wasn't much of a hunter, more
of a passive predator, like a venus flytrap. She didn't pursue her prey, she
waited for it to come to her, lulling the unwary into her jaws with attractive
pheromones and large tits. Never once had she set out to seduce me. The first
time was at her house when I'd come to dinner. The second time was a chance
meeting in the halls. And the last time was when our paths had crossed in the
gym. Likewise, she'd never pursued Alice, either. She'd simply set the trap and
let Alice come to her. That's probably what she was expecting this time, too,
and if it was, she might consider it beneath her dignity to actually cause a
scene herself.

At least I hoped so.

In any case, I was a nervous wreck on Monday morning. It could've easily turned
out to be the worst day in my life. Alice and I had finally made definite plans
about our future, plans that included happiness and massive amounts of sex, and
the redhead had the power to ruin it all. I still had no idea how Alice would
react if she found out, but somehow I knew she'd be disappointed in me,
especially now that I've attempted to keep it a secret. The sad thing was she
had a right to be disappointed. A girlfriend could be excused for giving up so
easily; a soulmate should've resisted more.

So I had to keep it secret. It felt like my final hope. I couldn't take anymore
stress in this relationship. I needed to go away with Alice and start all over
again. Fresh. With no lies, no mistresses, no humanity. Just me and Alice and
the love between us. That was my dream.

And all I had to do to make it come true was last one more week.

I was hopeful. It seemed possible. But the hope dimmed somewhat when we pulled
up in the school parking lot and found the blonde and the redhead leaning
against a red convertible, apparently waiting for us. The redhead had her arms
folded under her breasts and she didn't looked pleased. Maybe she had a bad
weekend. It must've been frustrating to stand around the house, fruitlessly
waiting for her old slave to burst back into her life in tizzy of helpless
hysteria. But at least she had the blonde to keep her company.

Alice glanced at them, but she didn't seem to register them or make any
expression. She turned to me with a smile and took my hand and we walked right
on past into the main building. The redhead kept her dark green eyes me on me
the whole time.

The encounter gave me slight hope; maybe my theory was right. Maybe she was too
proud to actually chase after her prey like a real predator. Maybe she'd just
wait and see what happens, or wait until she catches me alone again, or maybe—

She'd ambush me in the bathroom after History.

It turned out to be the former, as I quickly realized when I exited the stall
and found her waiting by the sinks. I hadn't heard her come in, hadn't seen her
follow me. Her hip was leaning against the counter and her arms were still
folded in an almost identical posture as when I saw her in the morning, as if
some one had simply picked her up and set her down in here like a mannequin.
She smiled at how I froze, midstep, half out the stall.

"You never told her," she said. She gave a single chuckle and shook her head.
"I hadn't considered this. It makes me seem quite stupid, doesn't it?"

She had a british accent, and it came out stewpid. I tried to ignore how cute
it sounded and focused on remembering that this was the woman who'd raped me.

So rather than blush and ask coyly why she never called, I simply blushed and
went over to the furthest sink away from her to wash my hands. She followed me
with her eyes and went on with her honeyed voice.

"I suppose you did enjoy it a little too much to play the victim," she said.
"You must be terribly ashamed of yourself, succumbing so readily like that.
Your pussy is remarkably treacherous. I confess I rather—"

But I wasn't interested in her craziness, so I didn't even dry my hands. I just
shook them once and walked past, toward the door. Suddenly her hand shot out
and seized my wrist.

The movement was so rough and sudden it took me by surprise. She pulled me
around to face her and hissed: "Who do you think you are to walk away from me?"

I slapped her. It was my left hand, so it landed with an awkward thud against
my wrist as opposed to satisfying sting with my palm, but I felt a thrill
anyway as her eyes narrowed in anger. I'd never seen her angry before, actually
angry.

It made me hot.

"You little whore," she spat, and then she slapped me back.

Her technique was far better than mine; a sharp smacking sound echoed off the
tiled walls and I stumbled back with a tiny cry, holding my cheek. Already the
skin felt hot under my hand, but maybe I was just turned on.

The slap seemed to startled her as much as me. She looked away, regained her
composure, and turned her eyes back to mine – but they were still angry.

"You are truly determined to indulge Alice's dreams, aren't you?" she asked.

I glared at her defiantly. "They're my dreams, too."

"Then I feel sorry for you," she sneered. "Dreams often reveal themselves as
nightmares as they will in this case, my dear, I do assure you."

And with that she reached out to grab me again. I flailed at her hand, but
mostly I just cringed in terror, the same way I do in PE when someone throws a
ball at me. I felt her hand clench painfully in my hair and suddenly she was
kissing me. Her disgusting tongue wormed into my mouth and suddenly I realized
that she was going to rape me again.

For a moment—too long a moment—I actually considered letting her. Her scent had
engulfed me as absolutely as her lips, a hot tincture of roses and wildflowers,
and I was so tired of worrying about it, resisting it. Things would be so much
easier if I simply surrendered to her. Easier than leaving with Alice, even.

I think I finally understood why Alice had been so fascinated with this woman
over the years. She'd said once that Victoria can't be corrupted because she is
corrupt. It was true. Victoria represented something absolute that couldn't be
tainted – desire, pure and simple.

The temptation to surrender was even stronger, because for the first time I got
the feeling that it was me she wanted. She wanted Alice too, and Rosalie, but
me as well. Something about me turned her on, and that's why she'd ambushed me
like this. That's why she'd been angry I kept our last encounter secret. That's
why she'd been offended when I tried to walk away.

Because she wanted me.

But I snapped out of it as soon her hand landed on my breast. Maybe a girl like
me had no right to call herself anyone's soulmate, but I loved Alice, and in my
heart I never wanted anyone else. So I twisted my face away from the redhead's
lips and headbutted her in her beautiful face.

Again, clumsy technique. I missed her nose and mouth and my forehead landed in
the relatively safe area of her cheek. It probably hurt me more than her, but I
used the brief break to try and thrash out of grip. But her hands were very
strong, and soon I changed tactics to pummeling the balled fist of my free hand
against her chest. She hissed in pain or annoyance and managed to grab my
wrist, forcing them both behind my back. She went to thrust her lips on me
again, but I lifted my knee and rammed it into her crotch.

It wouldn't have had the same impact on her as on a common rapist, but I hope
at least it was humiliating. She gave a satisfying grunt and suddenly I
thrashed harder, harder than I ever had. My mind was fading away into a red
haze and a feral growl escaped me as I actually managed to dislodge her grip.
She hissed at me like a cat, fangs exposed, but I felt no fear, no impulse to
run – only hunger.

I grabbed her and tried to bite her face. Now it was her thrashing. She landed
a knee into my crotch, but it really wasn't that devastating. We grappled,
pulling each other's hair and hissing. We toppled and fell onto the bathroom
floor. We rolled about and beat each other with our fists and somehow I managed
to straddle her hips and pin her wrists to the tiles.

She hissed at me from her helpless position, but this only made me excited,
powerful, euphoric in a way that I didn't even understand. My vision had gone
red and suddenly there was no sound in the world but the pulse of the artery in
her pale neck. She tried to thrash out from under me, but I didn't let her.
Consumed with a dark lust that I never knew existed I swooped to her neck and
bit into her flesh savagely with my bare teeth.

A soft gasp escaped her. Her hot blood flooded my mouth and my every tastebud
seemed to contract in ecstasy, like a massive orgasm in my mouth. She tried to
resist, squirming beneath me with a dull moan, but then she when limp. I sucked
at the wound, consuming her glorious red blood, and finally I raised up and
looked down at her with my dripping mouth.

My head was throbbing and all I could do was stare down at her face vacantly.
She stared back. The wound was pumping dark red blood that looked almost black
against her ivory neck. I became aware that my whole body was twitching from
how badly I wanted to cover her lips with my own, kiss her, fuck her, ravage
her, tear into her pale body with my teeth until—

"Go ahead," she said.

It was barely audible, a silky whisper, so maddeningly seductive that I almost
did.

But I couldn't. I wanted to hurt her and I knew the best way to hurt her would
be to simply get up and leave her laying there on the bathroom floor. So I
swallowed, the taste of the blood still thick on my tongue, and then I
scrabbled to my feet and fixed my clothes with trembling hands. She lay there
watching me, knees drawn up and slightly open, as if waiting. She was so
beautiful, so sexy, so completely fucking desirable. I felt a wave of disgust
for her and suddenly I leaned and spat her own blood onto her gorgeous face.

"Fuck you," I said, and then I turned, tore open the bathroom door, and stalked
out.

Biology was next and as I walked I kept spitting on the ground, trying to get
the taste out of my mouth. The red fog that had invaded my mind was slowly
dissipating, but I was still feverish, still shaky. I couldn't believe what had
just happened. It had to have been some kind of burgeoning vampire instinct, to
bite her like that. I must be very close to turning.

The halls were empty and I paced out side the biology lab for a while before
entering, wiping my mouth and still spitting. Thoughts of Alice had began
flittering though my mind, and suddenly I needed to see her. I had no idea what
I was going to do or what was going to happen, but I needed to be near her, I
needed to touch her, because deep down inside I knew that only Alice could make
me feel better. So I took a deep breath, pushed open the door, and went in.

Biology had started by the time I got there, but I hurried over to my stool
beside Alice without interrupting the teacher's lecture. She smiled at me and
took my hand under the bench.

"Hey, baby," she said.

"Hey," I replied distractedly, and then I glanced around and leaned to whisper
to her. "Listen, do you wanna go home?"

"Why?" she asked.

Because my brief fit as a vampire had worn off and I was scared of the redhead
again. Because I wanted to be alone with Alice. Because school sucked. There
were tons of reasons, so I just shrugged and said: "I'm sick of school. I mean,
what's the point?"

"Well, it's fun sometimes," she said, as if she actually did think school was
fun. "And we've got PE today, too. Maybe we can stay behind in the showers for
a while, hm?"

I didn't see the difference between shower-sex at school or shower-sex at home,
and to be honest, I was a wary of the girl's locker room. I didn't need any
reminders of what happened there.

So I glanced at the teacher, making sure we weren't attracting attention, and
turned back to Alice. "I just want to be with you, Alice," I said. "Please? Can
we go home?"

My face must've been suspiciously desperate, because she paused to study me.
Her thumb was caressing my hand under the table. I couldn't meet her eyes.

"You smell like Vicky," she whispered.

I looked at her in alarm. I had a crushing sensation that everything was about
to fall apart, but I nodded and shrugged. "I bumped into her in the bathroom,"
I admitted.

Her face remained expressionless, but her thumb was still caressing me as if
she wasn't even aware of it.

"Did she touch you?"

There was nothing in her voice, no concern, no judgment. Not yet.

"She tried," I said. "But I…"

"You what?"

For some reason I was self-conscious about what really happened, so I said: "I
hit her."

She let out a breath as if she'd been holding it, and a huge smile spread
across her face. I almost fainted from relief.

"No way," she grinned.

"Yeah," I said, allowing myself to smile too. "I kicked her ass. I think it
might've been, like, vampire strength or something. You know, from the venom."

"Oh my god!" she squeal-whispered, leaning to hug me from her stool. "That's so
awesome!"

The teacher cleared her throat. "Something to share with the rest of the class,
Miss Cullen?"

A round of chuckles. I was still human enough to blush at the attention, but it
didn't bother Alice. She looked at the teacher, she looked at me. I raised my
brows, my eyes pleading to get out of here, and then she giggled, grabbed my
hand, and we dashed out of the classroom.

Out in the corridor she threw me up against a block of lockers and pushed a
kiss on me. Then she startled backwards as if she'd tasted something weird in
my mouth.

"You bit her," she said.

I felt another wave of uncertainty, no idea how she would react. So I just
nodded. I shouldn't have worried; a huge grin broke over her face and she
launched herself at my mouth again. But again the kiss only lasted a moment.

"Oh my god," she giggled, stroking my face, breathing onto my lips, her whole
body pressed against my front. "That makes me so horny. I knew you'd never let
that filthy whore touch you again. I love you, baby."

My triumph was tainted slightly by the fact that it had taken me two attempts
to resist properly—and that I was deliberately concealing my failure—but I
wasn't deep enough to feel guilty right then. My heart soared with pride and
for once I really did feel like a girl worthy of Alice.

"I love you too, Alice," I said, kissing her and treating myself to a heroic
grope of her impossibly cute jean-clad ass.

—

***** Chapter 21 *****
—

Chapter 21:

—

Alice and I went directly home after we left biology and spent the rest of the
day having sex and shopping for prom dresses on the internet. Price was no
object, according to Alice, and I had way more fun browsing than I'll ever
admit. Jumping from site to site, matching shoes with dresses, cross-
referencing jewelry and underwear, only to abandon the whole ensemble because
maybe there'll be something even better if we just keep looking.

It was a somewhat shallow escape from the various problems I was facing—such as
the threat of a scorned dominatrix who could quite conceivably kill me before
the dress was even shipped—but somehow it seemed that if I could only find that
perfect pair of shoes to go that perfect dress, then maybe everything would
okay.

I've never been over-concerned with fashion, of course, and deep down I
certainly did NOT want to go prom where the redhead would have the opportunity
to fuck up my life in true horror-movie fashion, but Alice's excitement was
infectious, and she managed to topple my resistance without even pinching my
boob. It was the dress I was going to be turned in, she told me, and it had to
be special. I tried to make the distinction that I was fine with wearing a
dress, but did we really have to go to prom? After all, we're still lesbians,
and most of the school hates us – in addition to the fact that the redhead
might feel urged to slaughter me on the dancefloor and do a tango in my blood.
But none of that made a dent in my charming Alice, who smiled and countered
that it would be my last memory as a human and she wanted to make it as special
as possible for me. Which appeared to be girlfriend-code for "I want to go to
prom so just shut up and take me."

In any case, I was cautious about raising too much resistance. I didn't want
her to begin questioning why I was so eager to stay away from Victoria, since
as far as she knew I was unblemished in our recent encounters together. I
couldn't tell her that I wasn't only afraid of being decapitated in the wrath
of the rejected redhead, I was also distressed at the possibility of Alice
finding out that the rebuff had been rehearsed several days earlier with
slightly less successful results. But my subtle desperation had little affect,
and it soon became clear that my princess had her heart set on attending the
ball, and it would take more than locking her in a sooty cellar to keep her
from it.

So we shopped for prom dresses. My internet was terrible and my computer worse,
so it was a leisurely albeit frustrating browse. Automatically we discontinued
any color but black, red, and white, since obviously the color had to the
reflect the occasion, and being turned into a blood sucking slut seemed to call
for something bold. Red seemed a little pretentious, and black was too similar
to every other dress I'd ever worn, and pretty soon I'd decided on white, to
symbolize my purity and virtue and all the other imaginary traits that I'd be
forfeiting as I took my place in the night as a wanton whore of darkness. It'll
look beautiful with my hair, at least. Alice went with black, of course, and we
both got shoes and lingerie to match.

Luckily, it was all in-stock and with express delivery it all arrived the very
next day. Me and Alice had pretended to go to school, but as soon as mom was
gone we went upstairs and fucked with vibrators. The dresses didn't arrive till
after lunch, but we hadn't actually eaten food.

In any case, we took our parcels upstairs and unwrapped them and left the boxes
on the floor. It was so exciting to try everything on that I forgot my problems
for a full fifteen seconds at a time, sometimes. A tiny worm of anxiety
remained in my stomach, but it was an undeniable thrill to shimmy into my
figure-hugging gown, look into the mirror, and think; this is the dress I'll be
wearing when she turns me – when she makes me hers.

The thought made me smile. The dress was pure white, not cream, not ivory –
snow white. Paler than my skin. The fabric was soft and clingy, not shiny, and
it was slit down one leg. It looked soft and wholesome, yet sensual and
stylish.

Alice's dress was opposite, black, satin, incredibly short and tight. It had as
much coverage as a towel wrapped around her middle, barely covering her ass and
breasts. It was similar to the dress she'd worn on our first big date, but I
couldn't complain about the repetition; it looked amazing on her.

We spent a while fawning over how hot we look and then played around with
makeup for a bit, experimenting with different shades. It was the most fun we
had with clothes on in a long time, and we were so distracted that we didn't
even get to squeeze in one more fuck before mom got home. Then again, my door
had a lock and we hadn't been afraid to use it these days.

When mom came upstairs to say hello, she found us sitting on the bed in our new
prom dresses, a pile of makeup on the mattress between us and the floor
littered with shipping boxes. She was already frowning.

"Hey mom," I said, as if it was perfectly normal to special order prom dresses
with mysterious finances without your mother's knowledge. I hopped off the bed
to show her my dress, trying to ignore her dark look. "What do you think?"

But mom only turned her frown to Alice. Alice smiled, but she was sitting there
in the sluttiest prom dress known to girlkind, and she had the decency to look
a little abashed.

"I'd like to speak to my daughter alone," mom said, and then added with a
certain bitterness: "if you don't mind."

Alice hopped off the bed, glancing at me. I felt a spasm of panic. I knew mom
wouldn't hurt me, but Alice, Alice, I didn't want Alice to—

"Um, okay," she said. "I'll just be downstairs."

She gave me a quick smile and touched my hand. The touch gave me relief, but
was it still hard to see her go – although it was amazing how short her dress
was.

"The school called again," mom said, as soon as we were alone. "I've been lying
about your days off so you wouldn't get in trouble, but they're getting
suspicious. Apparently you haven't handed in a piece of homework in months and
you have more days absent than anyone in your grade. Aside from your friend,
out there."

"Mom—"

"And don't tell you haven't been doing drugs," she interrupted suddenly.
"You're not eating, you're not sleeping, you're pale and fidgety all the time.
I did research on the internet, Bella, I know what the signs are. Now tell me,
what is it? What are you two on?"

I didn't answer. I was fidgeting with the white fabric of my dress, but that
was probably just the normal nervousness that arises when your mom confronts
you about symptoms of drug use. Truthfully, I suppose I did have an addiction
or two, but none of them were actual narcotics, and I really didn't think my
symptoms were so strong anyway. I was pale, sure, but pearly pale, beautiful
pale. And yeah, I wasn't eating, but maybe I'm on a diet, trying to lose a
couple pounds of breast-weight. And as for sleeping, well. It's kind of
difficult to sleep with a slutty vampire in your bed. I wouldn't sleep at all
if I didn't eventually pass out.

Mom was shaking her head. "I can't just stand here and watch you destroy
yourself, Bella," she said. "That's why I've decided. If things don't
improve—and I mean drastically—then that girl is out of this house. I don't
care if she winds up in a homeless shelter. If she's bad for you, she's going.
And that's just to begin with."

"It's not her fault, mom."

"Well, who's fault is it, Bella?" she countered. "Mine? Yours? I don't believe
that. You were absolutely perfect before that girl entered your life."

She had a point, I guess, but I thought perfect might have been exaggerating.
After all, I was much thinner then, and my hair was duller, and my wardrobe was
a complete disgrace. I was virginal, too, which is never ideal to the virgin
herself. But I didn't argue.

She was shaking her head again, glancing around the room. The empty boxes on
the floor seemed to be a worry to her. "I knew I should've kept you separated,"
she said. "I just feel sorry for her parents. She's obviously been lying to
them. They can't possibly know what she really is."

I didn't know what to say, so I said: "I'm sorry, mom."

"Then break up with her," she said, looking at me suddenly.

"What?"

"Break up with her," she repeated. "If you cared about me—if you cared about
yourself—you'd stop seeing her right now. Send her home. She's bad news,
Bella."

Suddenly I was tired of the conversation. I let my arms flop at my sides and
looked away sullenly. "It's not that simple," I muttered.

"Why not? Why does that girl have such control over you?"

"I love her, mom," I said, raising my voice just a little. "Haven't you ever
been in love?"

"And what would you know about love, Bella?" she demanded, and then flapped a
hand angrily. "You're sixteen years old, for god's sake!"

I didn't reply, just stood there in my white dress, examining the ground. Mom
would never understand, and as much as I loved her, as much as I cared about
her, I just couldn't explain.

Alice was my soulmate. Simple as that.

Mom was silent for a second and when she spoke her voice was anxious and
pleading. "Please, Bella," she said. "I'm asking you as your mother. Please,
just stop seeing her. I can't bare to see you destroy yourself like this. That
girl has been nothing but a curse on you. She's taken over your whole life."

I smirked, still without looking at her, and said: "Cute curse."

Mom started crying. The sudden sob took me by surprise and completely shattered
my air of petulant teen angst. A sharp stab of guilt hit me in the heart and as
mom turned to hurry out the room I quickly grabbed her hand.

"Mom, mom," I said quickly, "please: I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry."

She wiped her eyes with her other hand and got herself under control. But she
wouldn't look at me and wouldn't answer. My heart felt like it was breaking
from how I was treating her, so I did what I always did when I tried to make
her feel better: I lied.

"Listen," I said. "I can't leave Alice. I love her. But I'll try to change,
okay? I'll talk to her. I'll tell her we need to be responsible. I just…"

I'd run out of words, so I stepped forward and hugged her. Hugs had always
worked well on mom, and maybe I needed one too. It had been a long time since
I'd hugged mom with all the drama between us lately, but I hadn't forgotten how
nice it felt. Her scent was nothing like the vampires, just a regular human
scent of soap and clothes and a lingering hint of perfume bodyspray, but she
was mom and I'd always love her, no matter what happened between us.

But the hug had lasted barely two seconds before I realized that she wasn't
hugging me back, and then I felt her push me away, gently but firmly. She
sniffed and shook her head.

"I don't know what happened to you, Bella," she said, and then she turned and
walked out.

For a second I just stared at the empty doorway, a dead feeling in my heart.
But then Alice stepped into the frame, in her sexy black dress, and my heart
flickered back to life.

She was looking over her shoulder where mom had disappeared and then she turned
her troubled eyes to me. "She's pretty upset," she said.

"Yeah," I said, feeling an echo of the guilt, but only an echo. Alice was here,
and Alice made everything better.

She sighed and kicked one of the boxes with her bare foot. "I told you we
shouldn't of skipped," she said. "We have to go back, at least till the end of
the week."

"I don't want to."

Alice stepped into my arms and forced my focus on her pretty face. "We have
to," she said. "We can't afford any more complications right now. I mean, what
if your mom decides to ship you out to a rehab clinic somewhere?"

I shrugged, my hands at her waist. "Then we'd just leave."

"But don't you want your last few days with your mom to be as pleasant as
possible?"

Suddenly I felt a flicker of suspicion. Why was she so desperate to go to
school? Did she want to see her sisters? Am I not enough?

"What do you care?" I asked, slightly embarrassed at how petulant I sounded.

But she only smiled and cupped my cheek. "I care about you, baby," she said. "I
just want you to be happy."

She kissed me, and I opened my mouth automatically for her tongue. My head
tingled as soon as it touched mine and all my suspicion and insecurity was
washed away in a warm wave of her love.

"When were you going to say goodbye?" she asked, breaking the kiss.

I shrugged again, still holding her trim waist. "I don't know if I can."

"Why don't you write her a letter?"

"What would I say?"

"Just let her know that everything's okay and you're going away with me and
that we're going to be very happy together."

I felt a touch of bitterness. "So, lie?"

Again, I was afraid she'd be upset at my petulant tone, but she only smiled, as
if I was being silly but she thought it was cute. "It's not a lie," she said.
"We are going to be happy together."

My emotions swung again into hope and warmth. "Do you really think so?"

"Yes," she said. "I really do."

I kissed her. It was still rare for me to initiate affection between us, but I
was getting more and more used to it, secure in the knowledge that she liked
it. So I let my tongue into her mouth and kissed her deeply, finally pulling
away with a sigh.

Five more days till prom and anything could happen. The thought came to me as
soon as the kiss was broken and anxiety crept into my stomach.

"Are you going to say goodbye to your family?" I asked, selfishly hoping that
she wouldn't.

She shrugged a bare and tiny shoulder. "Do you think I should?"

"I don't know," I said hesitantly, wondering if she loved me enough to let me
say no, to tell her to run for the hills, to never speak to them again. "I
don't want them to convince you to stay," I went on. "I need to get out of
here, Alice. Away from them, away from mom. I need you, just you. I know you
love them, but… Maybe you could call them? After we've gone?"

She was standing right up against my front with her arms around me and her
hands playing over my back. The gown was backless and her fingers tingled like
spiders on my skin. She was looking at my bare shoulder and she seemed to be
considering my suggestions. Finally she looked up.

"Maybe I'll send them a letter," she said.

"After we've gone?" I asked, needing clarification.

"Yes," she said, smiling. "After we've gone."

Then she lifted her lips and kissed me. I hope I managed to conceal most of the
relief I felt. That was one less worry, at least. If she had decided that she
had to say goodbye to the blonde or the redhead, everything could've been
ruined.

She broke the kiss and I felt a flush of insecurity, suddenly needing to make
sure she wasn't mad at me. So I gave her an anxious look, a look that suggest I
need reassurance, and said: "I feel really bad for making you leave them like
this."

And I did, a little bit. There was centuries between Alice and her family, and
only months between Alice and me. I had no right to ask her to do this, but she
smiled and shook her head, her warm little body still pressed against mine.

"Don't feel bad, baby," she said. "I should've taken you away a long time ago."

"I know, it's just… Sometimes I get the impression that you wish…"

"Wish what?"

"That you could still be with them. Like you used to."

"The only girl I want is you, baby."

"I know, but…"

"But what?"

A strange breath escape me and I looked away. The insecurity seemed to be
squeezing my heart in my chest, but I went on, needing to know how she really
felt.

"But it's not how you really feel, is it?" I asked. "I mean, deep down, you
still want them, don't you? You're only fixated on being faithful because you
think it means something."

"It does mean something, baby."

"Does it?"

She fell silent, gazing into my face and letting her fingertips roam my back.
Then she smiled and tilted her head. "Do you want to know the truth, Bella?"

I was almost afraid, but I nodded.

A loving smile appeared on her perfect lips and she looked directly into my
eyes. Her hands paused in their exploring so that her arms could tighten around
me. "From the second I met you," she said in a romantic whisper, "my desire for
any other woman completely vanished. The only person I could think of touching
was you."

"And now?"

"You're still the only girl for me. Forever and ever, Bella. My ties to my
family are strong, but nothing compared to you. My heart, my body, my soul, all
of it belongs to you. If you want to leave, we'll leave. From now on, nothing
matters but making you happy. Okay, baby?"

My heart felt like it was going to burst from happiness – but deep down I
didn't believe a word. If she had no desire for her sisters she wouldn't have
gone back to Victoria so quickly, she wouldn't have hooked up Leah and Jane
that night, she wouldn't have substituted me for Rosalie on their anniversary,
she wouldn't have tongue-kissed Esme to say goodbye.

But I wasn't angry or hurt or anything but happy. Because it didn't matter if
it wasn't the truth. Her words were beautiful and exactly what I wanted to hear
and I knew she meant them even if they weren't true. It wasn't lying if she
meant them. I didn't know what it was, but it wasn't lying. I couldn't possibly
doubt her love at this point, so I smiled and nodded, a single tear dropping
down my cheek.

She smiled back for just a moment, her eyes big and pretty and warm with love,
and then she lifted her lips and touched them to mine. She kissed me, long and
deep, our arms tightening like tentacles around each other. Then suddenly she
broke the kiss and said:

"Do you belong to me, too?"

I was so dazed by the kiss I didn't know what she meant. "Hm?"

"Well, you're not the only one who's insecure, baby," she said, smiling
flirtily. "It would be nice to know if you belonged to me, too."

"Of course I do," I said, breaking into a grin. "You know I do, Alice."

"How much of you belongs to me?"

"Everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

"Including your body?"

"Especially my body."

"Good," she giggled. "That's the best part. I mean, I respect you – just not as
much as your boobs, you know?"

It was a little objectifying, perhaps, but I felt the same way about her ass,
so I couldn't complain. So I just smiled with a glow in my heart and tingle in
my breasts, and said: "I love you, Alice."

"I love you too, baby," she said, and kissed me.

A dull glow had been building in the pit of my stomach and I responded with a
moan, letting the kiss carry me away to where there was no insecurity, no
rivals, no mom who didn't approve. Carrying me away to a place where there was
nothing but warmth and loveliness and Alice, Alice, Alice. Our hands were
roaming our bodies that were covered in our brand new dresses, the black satin
cool and smooth under my fingers, and suddenly I just yanked it up over her
hips, tore down her panties, and sank to my knees.

But we'd left the door open, and with a quick giggle she scurried over with her
naked butt, closed it, locked it, and came scampering back to my lips.

—

The next day was Wednesday and Alice and I mentioned loudly over breakfast that
we'd better go to school early this morning so that we could complete some
vital research in the library for a class project. It was mostly for mom's
benefit, so that she'd know that we were actually going to school today and
that we were serious about our academic futures. She didn't weep with gratitude
at this sudden change of heart, but she did give us a look that was almost
hopeful. We were gone before she'd even left for work, and she even let Alice
hug her goodbye.

Sadly, we did actually go to school. The motives behind my girlfriend's
scholastic zeal were still a mystery to me, but she did have a point about mom.
It was going to tear her apart to abandon her; at least we could make sure she
was in one piece when it happened.

Alice cheered me up with a quickie in the bathroom before class. We were early
after all, and neither of us had had much breakfast. Then we parted and
suddenly I could feel the justice of mom's drug accusations. I was instantly
jittery and sullen, sitting through classes with grim determination and no
focus on my work at all.

And in addition to the dilemma of being without Alice for hours at a time, I
had the looming threat of a certain psychotic redhead to contend with. But so
far there was no sign of her. Nothing in the parking lot, the corridors, the
schoolyard. I even went to the bathroom at one point without being molested.
And at lunchtime I looked over at the Cullen table, my heart tight in my chest,
and I almost sagged in relief when I saw that there was no redhead at all. No
blonde, either. Just Jane and Leah. I was so relieved I would've been happy to
sit with them despite the possibility of being coerced into another night of
hot and sweaty group sex, but Alice took me to an empty table of our own where
we sat holding hands for a while before realizing that neither of us were
hungry and we were wasting precious time that could've been used to fuck. So we
retreated to our abandoned classroom upstairs where we huddled in the corner
with our hands in each other's pants, moaning and kissing and stroking
ourselves to a climax under the second story window where the dustmotes we
raised danced in a yellow sunbeam.

The next day was Thursday. There was cheer practice after school and I found
myself sitting with Leah. A strange mood had settled over me as we watched the
squad work their routine. Alice was in view, but very far away, and even though
she was constantly looking over, I began to get a little jealous. Why does she
need the cheersquad when she has me? How does the cheersquad fulfill her in a
way that I don't? Why doesn't she prefer spending her time with me? Is it
possible that she doesn't love me as much as she claims?

I knew it was obsessive and stupidly irrational to be jealous of such a thing,
but I couldn't shake the feeling that had lodged itself in the pit of my
stomach. It felt almost like panic. I mean, as if I didn't have enough to worry
about with the redhead. Now I have to worry if my girlfriend is having an
affair with extra-curricular activities.

"You're getting pretty close to turning, huh?"

I startled slightly, glancing at Leah. She was sitting beside me, a respectable
distance apart, and dressed in her standard outfit, black leather skirt, black
tanktop, black knee-high boots with a tall heel. Legs crossed, so fucking sexy.
Did she have these same anxieties about Jane? No, impossible. She was happy to
share Jane, with me or Alice or her family or anyone. And yet supremely
confident that Jane loved her. How did she get so confident?

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She nodded at my foot; it was tapping feverishly and I hadn't even realized. I
stopped it.

"She must have a lot of venom in your system," she remarked.

I blushed, embarrassed for some reason. "Yeah," I said. "I guess so."

Leah nodded and waited to see if I'd elaborate, but I didn't. She turned her
smile to the field and settled her eyes on Jane where Jane was doing a
cartwheel for some obscure reason.

I started tapping my foot again. Then I realized and stopped. I turned to Leah
and blurted out some question.

"So where's Victoria lately?"

I didn't know that was what I was going to ask, and I was afraid that it was
the wrong thing to say, that I may've given something away about my plans with
Alice. But Leah shrugged a shoulder coolly.

"Home," she said. "I don't think she'll be back at school anymore."

"How come?"

"Who knows. She's been shacked up with Rose since Monday. I think she's pissed
that Alice hasn't gone back to her yet. Alice is the only woman who's ever
resisted her, you know? She's not used to it."

I felt a flush of triumph. Eat that, fire-crotch. Does it taste like Alice's
pussy? Didn't think so.

"The only one?" I asked.

"Yep," Leah said. "In the whole history of humanity, Alice is the only woman to
look her in the eye and tell her to take a hike."

Until me, that is. I smirked, feeling another flush of triumph. Sure, she'd
conquered me three times and I'd only beaten her once—and only barely—but you
know what they say about winning battles and wars. Now all I had to do was flee
town while the victory was still mine.

But jeez, me and Alice are the only women in history who've resisted her. I
could believe that. The only reason I'd resisted at all was because Alice had
filled my head with lofty notions of soulmates and similar things. Under any
other circumstances I'd be thanking my lucky stars nightly for the opportunity
of being the redhead's slave.

So I smirked and decided to be gracious. "I almost feel sorry for her," I said.

"Me too," Leah said, then returned my smirk. "Almost. But don't feel bad for
Vicky. She'll always have us and Rose. Alice would have us, too, if only she
wouldn't be such a romantic twit." She chuckled once, a touch bitterly. "You
know, I still can't believe you're letting her rule you like this. Alice
doesn't own you, you know. What gives her the right to tell you who you can and
can't sleep with?"

My heart glowed; I liked the idea that it was noticeable that Alice owned me. I
also liked the idea that maybe Leah was jealous. It was so awesome. If I didn't
have a soulmate I'd fuck her right now if she wanted. I might do it anyway if
she made an effort at me. After all, Alice had her cheersquad.

"Um, because she's my girlfriend?" I suggested playfully.

Leah waved a hand. "Please," she said. "If she truly loved you she'd let you
fuck whoever you wanted."

I smiled, only slightly blushing. "That doesn't even make sense."

Leah was looking out across the field, her face serious. "It does to a
vampire," she said. "It's a completely different set of morals. Or lack
thereof. You know, I almost feel sorry for her, the way she's fixated on you
like this. I mean, it was cute to begin with, but now it's just sad."

I tilted my head, a sudden melancholy settling over me. Victoria had said
something similar, the other day when she'd forced her sexy self upon me. I'd
passed it off as jealousy, but Leah didn't really sound jealous.

"Why?" I asked. "Why do you all say that? How come no one can be happy for us?"

She glanced at me with a smile that had no happiness in it and looked out
across the field again. "Because we all know how it's gonna end," she said.
"Alice has been stomping hearts for centuries, Bella. I mean, come on. Do you
really think you'll be any different?"

"Yes," I said sternly. "I do."

But she only chuckled, twice without humor. "That's even sadder."

I bristled. I was so sick of people questioning our relationship. "Alice does
love me," I said. "And maybe she's not perfect, and maybe she still has
feelings for all of you, but I'm number one in her heart. It's me she wants
more than anyone."

Tears crept into my voice toward the end, as if I didn't really believe myself,
and Leah quickly made her voice soft and put a hand on my back.

"I know, honey," she said soothingly, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said
anything. I was just jealous. Okay?"

The fact that she was trying to make me feel better only made her words seem
even more credible. "It's true, though," I persisted. "She really does love me.
She's even willing to…"

I trailed off, a hot blush consuming my face as I realized I was about to blurt
out our plans to leave. Leah was watching me curiously, waiting for me to go
on, and suddenly I realized that there were really no reason I shouldn't tell
her. Leah was definitely the cool sister, and she wasn't a gossip, and she
wasn't mean.

And suddenly the desire to confirm Alice's feelings out loud, both to her and
to myself, was irresistible. Alice's willingness to leave her family was proof
that Alice's feelings were real, and I wanted Leah to know exactly how much
Alice loved me. There was no practical purpose in telling her, but I needed her
to realize that she was wrong and that me and Alice were going to be together
forever, and that it truly was different with me and Alice.

So I glance at the field discreetly and back at Leah. "Can I tell you a
secret?"

"Sure."

"You have to promise not to tell anyone else."

"Okay."

I had a sudden doubt and I paused, biting my lip. Then I just blurted it out.
"Alice and I are leaving Forks," I said. "Together. Just us. After
prom—sometime. Sometime after prom."

I modified the plan at the last second, so she wouldn't know the exact details.
I didn't think she'd try to stop us, but it was best to take precautions. All
she needed to know was that Alice loved me enough to leave.

Leah looked at me for a second, totally expressionless. "She's leaving the
coven," she said. It wasn't a question.

"Mmhm," I said proudly, feeling my heart flush. "That's how much she loves me."

I thought I made my point, but Leah only looked at me for another moment. Then
she smiled and gave a chuckle.

"Well, congratulations," she said. "I guess she sounds pretty serious, doesn't
she?"

They were the correct words, but they didn't make me feel better. They were too
casual, too flippant, and they gave me the impression that she was only telling
me what I wanted to hear. But it was what I wanted to hear, so I accepted it
with a smile and a nod. My foot was tapping again.

"Just promise you won't say anything to the others," I said suddenly. "I don't
want Victoria to find out."

She nodded, smiling at me gently. "I promise," she said, "but you have to
promise me something in return."

"Promise what?"

"That you'll come visit us someday. Let's say ten years from now. We'll meet up
right here in Forks. Maybe you'll both be mellowed out enough by then that we
can all be friends. Okay?"

It sounded like a nice promise, so I smiled with a certain relief and nodded.
"Okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise," I said, but I've broken dozens of promises, and I had no way of
knowing if I meant to keep this one.

The next day was Friday, last day of school before prom. Last day before I live
happily ever after with Alice, alone somewhere, just the two of us. All night
we were discussing plans and talking about where we wanted to go. Alice wanted
to show me Europe, but that was going to need passports and fake IDs. She was
also worried about her funds running low, since most of the money belonged to
the coven, not to her. It was going to be a little more complicated than I'd
thought, but I trusted Alice, and Alice showed no signs of reluctance. She was
even excited. I still wasn't sure how she truly felt about leaving her family,
the people she'd been loving and fucking and living with for hundreds of years,
but the date was getting closer and closer, and her love for me held strong –
as did mine for her.

My only regret was Lauren. Weirdly, leaving her felt like an even stronger
regret than mom, in some ways. I could feel it pulling at me in class, tugging
my head in her direction where I sat pretending to focus on my textbook. We
hadn't talked since our fight in math a couple weeks ago when she'd stormed out
in tears, and now we'd never have a chance to make up.

But I guess there was no point, anyway. It would've been nice to be friends,
but I had Alice, and I could never love anyone more than Alice. Alice was my
soulmate, my destiny, my future companion in eternity – Lauren was just a
crush. A very strong, very dramatic crush, but still only a crush. Whether I
left her now or left her later, it was never going to last much past
graduation, if it even went that far. If it even happened at all, which was
still doubtful considering she was stuffed so deep in her closet she was
practically in Narnia. We were never soulmates. There was hardly any point even
thinking about it.

But I did. Lauren was the only human I'd ever loved or been with. She'd been a
dream before Alice was a reality, ever since middle school when she'd found out
I liked girls and decided this was the height of disgusting and abnormal
behavior and I simply must be tormented for it. I'd always liked her even when
she was mean to me. My face would blush furiously but not only from
embarrassment, from helplessness, too, because I didn't want her to hate me. I
wanted her to like me.

I wondered what would've happened if I never met Alice. Since a lot of Lauren's
attraction to me was rooted in jealousy, maybe nothing. But maybe it was
possible. Maybe we would've went on our date and made love on the beach. She'd
freak out and go back to her boyfriend, only this time I'd corner her at school
sometime and make her understand that it was okay to like girls, and even
better to like me, because I loved her and I knew she loved me back. We'd kiss,
maybe. She'd want to keep our relationship secret at first, and of course I'd
be very understanding. And then prom would approach and I'd muster up the
courage to ask her. I'd be sure to stipulate that we didn't have to go as a
couple, just as friends, and she'd be very relieved and very grateful for my
understanding, and yet when prom finally came we'd find ourselves dancing
together, just as friends of course, but then the song turns slow and even
though it would be suspicious to keep dancing we do, slow dancing with our
heads resting on each other's shoulders, our hearts thudding, beating as one,
and people would stop dancing to stare but we'd ignore them, slow dancing in
each other's arms to the gentle chords of a romantic ballad, and finally she'd
lift her head at the end of the song, eyes shining with love and courage, and
before the whole school place upon my lips a soft and wonderful—

God, I miss Alice. I was tapping my foot under my desk and suddenly I lost
interest in staring at Lauren and turned my attention to the clock on the wall.
It was gonna be over an hour before I saw her and even longer before I got my
tongue in her. Man, school sucks.

I huffed and turned my eyes back to Lauren. She'd glanced over from across the
class, but she looked away quickly as soon as our eyes met. My heart panged.
Did she still like me? Did she think I was as pretty as I thought she was? Did
she—

"Okay, class," Mrs Cullen said, rising from her desk and clapping her hands for
attention. "Homework by Friday, no excuses."

I guess class was over. A loud murmur rose as everyone stood up and started
talking at once. I gathered up my books and rose, checking the clock again,
wondering—

"And Bella," added Mrs Cullen, "would you mind staying behind for a few
moments?"

I hesitated. Since the momma-vamp had taken over as English teacher we hadn't
really spoken to each other, other than casual greetings. She'd never asked me
to stay behind before, and maybe I was being paranoid, but with so many things
that could go wrong before prom, I couldn't help feeling anxious.

But she was still a teacher and it was probably just school stuff, so I set my
books against my hip and went over. She was standing and arranging some papers
on her desk, dressed in a tanned-colored skirtsuit with a magenta magnolia in
her lapel. Fresh flower. She had a different one every day and she was
unequivocally the sexiest teacher in school. I'd do her. Alice or not, she
could discipline me any day.

But that would've been harassment to say out loud so I just stood by patiently
as she turned to me with a smile and leaned a hip against the edge of her desk.

"So," she said, pleasantly. "I don't suppose you've finished that assignment
that was over due?"

I shook my head.

She sighed as if disappointed. "I didn't think so," she said. "Alice has been
keeping you very busy, hasn't she? How is she lately? It seems like I hardly
speak to her at all anymore."

I felt a flicker of suspicion. I knew she didn't actually care about homework;
she wanted to talk about Alice.

But why?

I didn't know, but I nodded casually. "She's fine," I said. "We're just
focusing on each other right now."

She seemed to accept that. Not happy about it, but she nodded as if she
understood. Then she smiled. "And how have you been?" she asked.

"Fine," I said, which seemed true aside from the fact that I'd been fearing for
my life lately because there was still a redhead out there who had an unhealthy
fascination with death and domination and my girlfriend. "Why?"

"I've been worried about you," she said. "I heard about what happened. With
Victoria."

I glanced at the clock. How long was this going to take? Alice would be waiting
and—

Wait.

What did she say?

I looked at her, my foot ceasing to tap. She knew about what happened with
Victoria? She was watching me with a sympathetic expression and I asked: "How
did you find out?"

"Victoria told me," she said. "She's been very sullen lately, and I tried to
comfort her. She confided in me. It's quite twisted how upset she is that her
plan didn't work."

"I thought you didn't like her?"

"Well, I don't," she said. "But sometimes it's hard not to think of her as a
daughter. Even though she's so much older than me."

I nodded and fell silent. She knew. But how much did she know and what was she
going to do about it? What was she planning?

But apparently her plan was nothing more sinister than laying a comforting hand
on my shoulder. I went a little rigid at the touch; it felt odd whenever
someone other than Alice touched me. Inappropriate – but exciting, too.

"You poor thing," she said, and I completely agreed, very poor, poor indeed. "I
can't imagine how awful it must've been for you. You still haven't told Alice,
have you?"

Ah, so she was referring to the rape-like event of last week. Of course I
hadn't told Alice. Why would I tell her that I enjoyed being sexually dominated
by her former mistress? So I shook my head.

Mrs Cullen released my shoulder and sighed, arranging her beautiful face in a
very convincing mask of maternal concern. "I can't imagine what Alice would do
if she found out," she said. "She can be very unpredictable."

From her tone she seemed to be assuming that my erratic girlfriend would blame
the redhead and exact some kind of formal vengeance. That would be the better
conclusion, but more likely I think she would dump me like the slut I am and
finally fall over the edge into despair at the ugly reality that soulmates
don't exist. Which was why I had to keep it secret, and why we had to get out
of here. Victoria was damaging to Alice's dreams. They simply couldn't coexist.

So I frowned and said: "I just want to forget it ever happened."

She nodded, her eyes full of sympathy, but touched with reluctance, too, as if
what she was about to say might be upsetting but she had to say it. "I
understand," she said, "but sometimes it's not smart to avoid your problems.
Alice and Victoria have a lot of history and this isn't just about you. After
all, Victoria wasn't only trying to hurt you. She was trying to hurt Alice as
well. Don't you think she deserves to know?"

This hurt, mostly because it was true, but also because it was completely
unfair. "Alice has been lying to me ever since we first met," I said. "Didn't I
deserve to know that her venom was slowly turning me? Didn't I deserve to know
that she had this fucked up mistress who was going to cause all these problems?
Didn't I deserve to know that vampires are evil?"

Mrs Cullen looked down. The word evil might've been a little harsh—they didn't
kill people, after all—but I made my basic point. So I made an effort to calm
down and followed up.

"I'm not lying to her," I said. "I'm protecting her. Alice and I are going to
be together forever. Victoria isn't important."

I almost slipped up and mentioned that we were leaving Forks, but I caught
myself. I still trusted Leah—at least I hoped I could—but if the momma-vamp had
a habit of 'comforting' her daughters, it was probably best not to tell her too
much.

Mrs Cullen tilted her head and gave me a gentle look. "You truly love her,
don't you?"

"Yes," I said, feeling the love I spoke of wash over me in a warm wave.

But rather than be reassured by my confidence, she only looked sad. "You poor
thing," she said. "She doesn't deserve you."

Leah had said something similar, so had the doctor guy, and even Victoria had
let on that how startling it was that I did truly love her. But I was sick of
hearing it and I knew the truth. So I told her. "Alice deserves the best," I
said. "I'm just what she's stuck with."

She nodded, but not with approval; resignation. As if she realized that there
was nothing she could say that would change my mind and she wasn't even going
to try. "It's sad that you actually believe that," she said, "but I understand
how you feel. Alice is an amazing woman. She can be quite a charmer when she
wants to be. And, of course, she's a devil in bed."

I grinned suddenly, the tension instantly evaporating. "Yeah," I said. "Tell me
about it."

"Oh, there's some things I could tell you," she said, returning the grin, "but
I think I'll let you find out for yourself."

It was a much needed moment of levity, and in my levity, I let my eyes flicker
at her bust. She must've been wearing a very pricy push-up because her breasts
were very prominent. Beautiful cleavage. I lifted my eyes back to her face, but
she seemed to notice what I'd been looking at. She smiled. I looked away. The
room was completely empty other than me and her and it seemed that no other
class was on it's way.

"Well, whatever happens," she said, "I truly wish you the best, Miss Swan.
You're a special girl. You deserve to be happy."

I was glad she overlooked my indiscretion. "Thanks," I said, and quickly added:
"And don't tell Alice, okay? About what Victoria did."

"I won't," she assured me. "I don't make it a habit to interfere in other
people's relationships."

I nodded, and as I did two students passed in the corridor outside, their
voices flaring as they went by the door then lapsing again. Mrs Cullen and I
both looked over at the open door and then we looked at each other. I blushed,
as if it was lucky we hadn't been caught talking perfectly innocently, and she
smiled. Then she went over and gently closed the door.

My heart flared with uncertainty. Was she closing the door because she only
wanted privacy? A quiet moment with a student to talk about relationship
problems, an impromptu counseling session? Or was she closing the door because—

She was wearing flesh-toned pantyhose and fuck her legs were hot. Her skirt was
cut above the knee and it fit nicely over her round ass. I looked at it as the
door clicked softly close and looked away as she came back, smiling and walking
with a certain strut in her hips. But when she spoke it was if she hadn't done
anything odd at all.

"I remember when we first met," she said, "back when you and Alice first
started dating. I urged you to consider boundaries, do you remember?"

I blushed, struggling to be casual.

"In all honesty, I was jealous," she said, a hint of pink in her cheeks. "Of
both of you. It had only been a couple weeks, but I missed Alice already. And I
have to admit, you fascinated me a great deal. You were so pretty, so
accepting. Just the kind of girl I'd like for myself."

I swallowed. She was wearing gold hoops in her ears and light makeup and
suddenly I was aware of her scent, a delicate vanilla. I was alone in an empty
class room with a sexy vampiric English teacher who just basically said she
liked me. So I shrugged awkwardly and focused on the other part of the
conversation.

"I wasn't really accepting," I said. "Just stupid."

She smiled as if this was the correct answer and she was proud of me for
getting it right. "You have a large heart, Miss Swan," she said. "It's a shame
to see it blackened like this, but I'm happy Alice has found someone. I was
skeptical in the beginning, but I think maybe she truly does love you. Maybe
she wasn't ready with me or the others. Maybe she was just waiting for the
right girl."

I felt a surge of hope. It was exactly how I felt. I was the right girl. Alice
loved me more than anyone else. I smiled, grateful that she understood.

"In any case," she went on with a smile, "you shouldn't relax just yet. Alice's
feelings will require constant attention. My mother taught me when I was little
that marriage is just the beginning. You have to work at it for the rest of
your life if you want it to succeed. Above all, don't give her any reason to
doubt you."

I nodded, accepting this as sage advice. I wish mom was this accepting.

Mrs Cullen smiled and tilted her head, regarding me closely, as if judging me
in some way, but kindly, without criticism. "Alice is a damaged girl," she said
finally, "but I think…I think you might be exactly the thing to fix her."

Her words made me glow. It was nice that someone was finally supportive of our
relationship. She was really nice, Mrs Cullen. And so beautiful. I felt an urge
to hug her, and my feet did seem to twitch toward her, but I didn't know how
appropriate it would be, so I didn't.

"Thank you, Missus Cullen."

"Oh, call me Esme," she said, casually. "After all, I'll be your mother-in-law
soon, won't I? Come here, give me a hug."

I think deep down I knew it was a bad idea, but I couldn't stop myself. I
stepped into her vanilla scent and wrapped my arms around her middle. Something
washed over me, something warm and confusing. Her arms enclosed around my back
and she held me for a moment.

"Thank you, Esme," I said. "You're pretty kind for a vampire."

She chuckled and rubbed my back. "Well, I still have a little humanity left,"
she said modestly. "I'm very young, after all."

"I wish your whole family was like you."

The hug had stretched for quite a few seconds, but I didn't let go; I held her
even more tightly, my head swirling with her vanilla scent.

"Thank you, honey," she said. "You're very sweet."

Then she released me, but only slightly. Just enough so that she could bend and
place a kiss on my cheek. My face began tingling, but it was only a comforting
kiss, a chaste kiss. She was taller than me in her heels, and she smiled at me
for a second before kissing my cheek again. She was holding my face in her
hands and my whole face was on fire. Her lip landed on my cheek once more,
closer to my mouth. And again, closer. My heart was thudding in my chest and
finally I turned my burning face just slightly so that her lips fell full upon
mine.

At first she tried to keep the kiss platonic, but it was impossible for either
of us. I gave a small and muffled moan, and that seemed to break her. Her
tongue slid across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth obediently. My mind was
blank and somehow it felt like I was falling. She was so sweet, so nice. It
felt natural to let her kiss me. To wrap my arms around her neck and moan as
our tongues touched and swirled.

Soon she had me pressed up against the desk and we were moaning together.
Urgently. When the kiss broke it was her that broke it. She looked into my
eyes, searching for permission, consent, as if I hadn't given it already. I
swallowed breathlessly, and said:

"Is this cheating?"

It didn't feel like it. It didn't feel bad or wrong at all, and she appeared to
agree. She caressed my face and smiled.

"No, honey," she whispered. "It's comfort."

I think deep down I knew that was a lie and that she was only lying because she
was a vampire like all the others, but I didn't care. It felt too wonderful to
stop, too natural, too perfect. So I lifted my swollen lips to hers and resumed
the kiss.

I kissed at her face until the powdery taste of makeup was in my mouth. I
kissed at her throat, her chest. She opened her tan-colored suit-jacket and my
lips fell on her breasts before she'd even peeled away her bracups. I lifted
her large mounds in my hands and sucked on her nipples. She moaned and pulled
my face back into a kiss. I lifted my top, braless, and pressed my naked
breasts against hers. Her hands cupped them, stroked them. I was getting wet
and I could taste the urgency in her kiss. Finally I hiked up her skirt and she
hitched herself up onto the edge of the desk, legs dangling, breasts exposed. I
knelt at her entrance and she was playing with her own nipples as I tore a hole
in her pantyhose with my teeth to get at her pussy.

Afterwards, I skipped the last class of the day and washed myself off in the
bathroom with water and toilet paper. I wiped down my breasts, my pussy, my
throat, everything that might've come into contact with her saliva. I stood at
the mirror, working quickly in case anyone came in, and as I mopped at my
breasts with the wet clot of paper my eyes met mine in the reflection. I paused
for a second and looked at myself, reviewing my tits, my mouth, my rampant
black hair, and for a second I was quite proud of the fact that I was such a
complete fucking whore.

I met Alice in the parking lot. It was windy and she actually sailed into my
arms for a hug before she started sniffing. She recognized the scent on my
clothes as her mother's, but I told her it was just a hug. She seemed to
believe me.

—

Finally it was prom night. Together we went for a shower and together we got
dressed in my room and together we put on our makeup and jewelry, our shoes,
our smiles.

The encounter yesterday afternoon had given me doubts, but it was too late for
doubts. I blamed my budding vampire instincts for what happened, and I still
wasn't convinced it was wrong. It truly had been comfort. Esme had reassured me
about my relationship, convinced me that I was special, that I was perfect for
Alice, that me and Alice were going to together forever – and then she'd let me
fuck her, thereby negating every confidence I'd managed to muster.

How could I be Alice's soulmate if I did that?

Am I truly ready for this kind of commitment?

Is true love really better than a family of fuck-buddies?

I didn't know anymore, but it didn't matter. I loved Alice, nothing was going
to change that. Our plans were made, our bags were packed, and my goodbye
letter to mom was folded neatly on my pillow. By the time she found it I'd be
in a hotel room with Alice, languishing in the lust of her fangs as I
surrendered my humanity and took my place at her side for all eternity – as her
soulmate and one true love.

Nothing could stop us now, aside from the truth. So I lied and I was slightly
sad at how little guilt I felt. It was probably another influence of the venom,
or my growing vampire traits. I was deceiving the woman I loved, the woman who
wanted to be mine of all eternity, and all I could do was hope that she never
found out that I'd legitimately cheated on her the day before the biggest night
of our lives.

Things with mom had healed enough that she could stand to be in the same room
with us and before we left she took our pictures in the living room, arranging
us against the wall and telling us to smile. The smile came very easy for
Alice. But it was harder for me. This was the last time I was ever going to see
mom. Ever since I was twelve she'd been badgering me about getting a boyfriend
so I'd finally have a relationship to talk about, and this is what she ended up
with, lies, lesbians, sluts. And now I was leaving, abandoning her like an old
shoe while our relationship was still shattered, leaving her with the broken
memory of a daughter who was irresponsible, immature, and an ungrateful little
whore. My heart was breaking as I tried to smile for the picture, my arm around
my dark date's waist, but even so, I had no desire to stay. The last vestige of
my so-called maturity knew that the longer I stayed, the more pain I'd bring to
mom.

And beyond all that, I needed Alice. I had made some mistakes lately, but
nothing had changed in my feelings for Alice. I needed her. And by now I'd
amassed so many lies between us that our relationship couldn't hope to survive
here where the truth lingered. I couldn't let her find out, about any of it.
Maybe one day I could explain to her what happened back then and that I'd been
weak and young and stupid, but for now it had to be a secret.

So I smiled for the picture, clad in my long white gown like a bride. There was
no lace and voluminous skirts, but the symbolism of the color was similar, and
as false.

Mom took the picture and Alice rushed over to see. Mom tilted the camera for
her and even smiled at her excitement. Some times they did get along, and
tonight they were united in the belief that junior prom was the most important
night in a young woman's life. Mom's belief was innocent; Alice's slightly more
sinister.

But god, she looked amazing in that dress. Shimmering black, clinging to her
ripe little body. Her heels were incredibly tall for a girl so small and her
legs were so long and white and shapely.

"Bella, come look at the picture," Alice said. "You look so beautiful!"

I blushed and gestured feebly with my hand. "Nah, it's alright."

Alice giggled and turned to mom. "She's so shy, isn't she? Make sure you get me
a copy of the picture so I can use it as a wallpaper, kay?"

Mom actually smiled at her for a second, still gazing at the picture. "Sure
thing, sweetie," she said, then lowered the camera. "Now, when do you girls
think you'll be home?"

It hurt that mom called her sweetie. I don't know why. It hurt even more that
Alice was so talented at lying and acting normal. But what hurt most of all was
that we wouldn't be home. Not ever.

"Actually, I'm not sure," Alice said. "I guess it depends how much fun we have.
Knowing Bella we'll probably be home in an hour or two. The last time we went
dancing I had to practically force her out onto the floor at knifepoint."

They chuckled at this. I gave a queasy smile.

"Well, you girl's have fun," mom said, and suddenly I knew it was now or never.

I jerked a step forward, wringing my hands. Alice gave me a sad look.

"Mom," I said.

She was looking at the picture again. "Yes, sweetie?"

Suddenly I surged forward and wrapped her into a hug. It took her by surprise,
but she hugged me back, patting the back of my dress with one hand, the other
holding the camera out.

"See you, mom," I said, unable to say the word goodbye. It took all my strength
not to cry. "I love you."

She sensed something odd and tried to look into my face. "I love you too,
sweetie," she said. "But why, what's the matter?"

"Nothing," I said, sniffing quietly. "We'll be home soon, okay?"

"Well, I'll be waiting up for you, so try not to be too late."

"We won't," I said, and then I suddenly hugged her again. "Love you, mom."

She chuckled awkwardly and patted my back. "Love you too, sweetie."

I blinked back tears and my throat felt completely closed over. Desperate for
one last way to let her know I love her, I went to kiss her cheek. But it was
awkward timing and my lips landed on the corner of her mouth. My heart gave a
huge jolt and I turned away quickly, tears finally streaming down my face.

And that was the last time I was ever going to see her. Alice opened the front
door and led me out. I didn't look back. We emerged into the windy sunset, hand
in hand, and went down the garden path to where her car sat on the curb,
passing among the rows of dead flower bushes that sat rotting under the sunless
sky no matter how hard mom tried to take care of them. We were going to prom,
and if I could make it through the night, I was going to live happily ever
after with Alice. So I got in the car and folded my hands in the lap of my
snowy white dress.

It was either going to be the greatest night of my life or the worst.

And I truly didn't know.

—

***** Chapter 22 *****
—

Chapter 22:

—

By the time we got to prom my mood had improved considerably. It had been
difficult to say goodbye to mom, but the heartbreak dulled with distance, and
soon the majority of my emotional activity was focused on how sexy my date was.
I kept glancing at her as we drove, my eyes darting at her body as if they
couldn't help themselves, flickering in excitement over the shiny satin of her
tiny black dress, her bare legs. A couple times she'd catch me and smile. We'd
been driving in silence, presumably so I could have some time to get over the
tragic rupture from my loving mother, but by the time we pulled up in the
school parking lot, I only had one thing to say:

"You look so fucking hot in that dress."

Alice accepted the compliment with a certain smugness, pushing the gearshift
into park and turning to me with her ruby lips in a cocky smirk. "I know," she
said, and then she threw a leg over the headrest of her chair and collapsed
back against the car door with her legs open. "Go down on me."

She didn't need to tell me twice. I unclicked the seatbelt and leaned eagerly
between her thighs, placing kisses everywhere over her warm and soft flesh. Her
dress was so short it hardly had to be hiked and her underwear was black lace,
my favorite. She was far from wet, but very receptive, and I soon had her honey
flowing, panties peeled aside as I lovingly licked her out. We moaned together,
her with satisfaction, me with hunger, and I was bringing her closer and closer
and—

Someone tapped on the window.

I jumped up in shock, still human enough to be utterly mortified. I'd forgotten
we were in public parking lot—at school, no less—but luckily for my modesty it
was only Jane.

She smiled and waved though the glass, as if her sister wasn't sprawled there
with her legs open and pussy completely exposed. I was slightly dazed, leaning
over the gearshift with Alice's pussy juice on my lips, but Alice only giggled
and waved back, not bothering to close her legs.

Jane tapped again and spoke to me. "It's okay, finish her up," she said, loudly
through the glass. "We'll wait out here."

Then she turned away and started giggling with Leah.

The mood seemed slightly spoiled, but Alice only turned back to me expectantly.
Her pussy was still wet, still waiting, and after rationalizing that even human
couples get caught from time to time, I lowered my mouth and resumed my loving
attentions to my girlfriend's horny vagina.

Jane and Leah were leaning against the trunk when we finally got out the car.
It was still daylight and still windy. Jane wore a flowing lilac cocktail dress
that riffled against her body and her platinum hair stirred in the breeze like
cornsilk. Leah's hair was as dark and wild as it always was and surprisingly
she didn't wear a dress; she wore a black miniskirt, black boots, and a black
tanktop, similar to what she always wore but in a more stylish form. Her boots
had a tall heel and zippers up the side, and her skirt had a intricate chain
belt, and on her wrists she wore leather bracelets with studs on them. She
looked at my dress oddly, and suddenly I did feel a little self-conscious in
such glaring white, but she was polite enough not to mention anything.

Alice was straightening up the hem of her dress as we got out and Jane giggled
at her. "You lovebirds at it already, huh? Ah, nothing like new love. You gonna
let Alice dance with us, Bella?"

I was holding Alice's hand and she looked at me, as if it really was my
decision. I would've preferred to keep her to myself until we were safe and
gone from Forks, but it was clear she expected to dance with her sisters, so I
nodded, smiling, hiding my reluctance.

"Cool," Jane grinned. "How about a motel room when we're all done dancing?"

But at this Alice drew the line. She threaded her arm around mine and smirked
possessively. "Not this time," she said. "Tonight is all about my Bella, isn't
it Bella?"

"Man, you've changed since you started dating," Jane whined, and then turned
her pout on me. "You're a bad influence on her, Bella. She never used to be
like this until she met you."

Technically, I was a good influence on her. Our relationship would never win
the award for healthiest couple of the year, but at the very least it was
improvement on her former life of mass-fucking her whole family. But I didn't
want to get into a debate on morality with a vampire, so I just shrugged, Alice
still clinging to my arm.

"Sorry," I said.

We were moving toward the gym by now and Jane snorted. "Sorry won't get my
pussy licked," she countered.

"Sorry," I repeated, but it didn't sound any more earnest than last time.

Alice giggled and nodded at Jane and Leah's hands; they were clasped.

"You guys are holding hands?" she inquired.

Jane smile and swung their clasped hands like a pendulum. "Why not?" she said.
"We're not gonna be in town much longer. Might as well go out with a bang."

The parking lot was half-full of cars and a couple trucks. Students stood in
groups or pairs, posing with digital cameras, the girls in colorful dresses,
the boys in tuxedoes, arms around waists, hair flickering in the wind. Standing
around on the asphalt in their heeled shoes, talking, laughing, and as we
passed most of them turned to look, nudging their friends and pointing,
smirking, making comments. Two pairs of girls going by in sexy dresses, holding
hands. We ignored them and continued on.

"So what's the white dress?" Leah asked, nodding at my dress. "You getting
married?"

Actually, in a way I really was getting married. There'd be no ceremony and no
witnesses, but tonight Alice and I would truly be joined. But I couldn't
explain all that so I just smiled and shrugged. "I thought it was cute," I
said.

"I think it's sexy," Jane said, and smacked my ass.

I jumped, rolled my ankle, and spilled onto the ground. Jane burst out
laughing. Across the parking lot more laughter drifted over. Leah shook her
head with a smirk and even Alice giggled as she help me up.

"Poor baby," she cooed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, blushing. I tilted my leg to check my dress and I was
irrationally sad at the large smudge of dirt across the pristine white fabric.
I never expected the night to be perfect, but this was particularly poor start.
How could I possibly face certain threat from a nasty redhead in a dirty dress?
My ankle hurt, too.

"Here, let me get that," Jane said, and started patting my leg.

But Alice swiped her hand away. "Don't touch," she said, leaping at the chance
to assert her possessiveness. But she was smiling and she seemed mostly
playful. "Or I'll rip your hand off and slap you with it."

Jane lost interest in me and advanced on Alice with a grin. "Oh yeah?" she
grinned. "What if I touch you?"

Alice was on guard, grinning, and suddenly Jane feinted left, sidled right and
landed a very loud spank on Alice's ass. Alice yelped and pointed a threatening
finger at her blonde sister.

"Stop it," she said. "Or else."

"Or else what?" Jane grinned, and spanked her again.

Alice squealed and retaliated with a smack of her own. Then they started
running around the parking lot, scrabbling in their heels and shrieking with
giggles as they slapped at each other's asses. Couples who'd been making their
way to the gym stopped to stare.

I watched them for a second with a touch of guilt in my heart. They fought a
lot, Alice and Jane, but mostly it was just play-bickering. They really did
love each other, as much as vampires were able. I hated to come between them,
but deep in my heart I knew that Alice wanted me above all, and leaving was our
only chance to have the kind of relationship we wanted. Just us.

No redhead.

Leah stood by with her arms folded, patiently waiting. I glanced at her and
started swiping at the dirty leg of my dress. Luckily it was only dry dust and
it was going away. Leah turned her eyes to me and smiled. I blushed and asked:

"Is Victoria and Rosalie here?"

My heart sank as she nodded. Suddenly the whole night seemed hopeless, but
there was nothing I could do except hope the redhead would have too much fun
dancing to bother ruining my life.

I turned to look at Alice, as if worried even now the redhead might be closing
in on her, but it seemed I had a new threat. Jane had her cornered against the
back of a truck and she had her hands at Alice's waist, pinning her in place.
Alice was batting at her playfully, but she didn't seem particularly eager to
escape her sister's grip. Jane said something that drew Alice's eyes and then,
as I watched, Jane leaned and pressed her lips against Alice's.

A very strange feeling passed over me. A chill. Alice didn't return the kiss
and she pushed Jane away fairly instantly, but the repression between them was
obvious. And it wasn't only Jane. Alice wiped her mouth with her hand, but she
seemed awkward and unsure. Then she looked up, saw me, and begged with her eyes
for me not to be mad. I smiled and shook my head, as if to say don't worry
about it. She smiled gratefully and snapped something at Jane. Jane shrugged
and laughed.

Leah heaved a sigh. People had seen the kiss, but Jane didn't bother being
discrete as she threaded her arm around Alice's like a lover and led her back
to me and Leah.

"Come on," Leah said. She had her purse on her arm and she was already reaching
for the digital camera inside. "Let's take some pictures."

—

The bad feeling persisted as we entered the gym to get out the wind and passed
the camera around so that we could all take pictures of each other. The
vestibule was full of groups who had the same idea, but we found a small space
of brickwall and arranged ourselves in various couplings. Jane insisted on
having her picture taken first, and despite the display outside, I saw little
evil in her request, even when she wrapped her arm around my girlfriend's waist
in a way that wasn't quite sisterly.

Alice then had her picture taken with Leah and then Leah and Jane together.
Finally they got around to me, but I was very self-conscious. I declined having
my picture taken a number of times, but eventually Jane pulled me into the
frame and clamped me in place with an arm around my waist before appropriating
the camera herself and ordering Alice and Leah beside me, one at a time, then
both. Finally she handed the camera to a girl she knew who was passing with her
boyfriend and we had a picture taken of all four of us. Alice and Jane managed
their smiles as easily as always, and even Leah presented a cool curve of her
lips readily enough, but it was harder for me. I'd cheated on my girlfriend
yesterday and I was never going to see my mom again. Considering how close I
was to living happily ever after, it was strange how it didn't seem like I had
a great deal to smile about. But then Alice's hand gave me a little squeeze
around my waist and she turned her dazzling smile to me for just a second. My
own smile flickered on like a lightswitch and we both turned to the camera.

It was dark outside by the time we'd actually gotten our tickets. There'd been
a delay while one of the teachers warned me and Alice that inappropriate
behavior would not be tolerated. Somehow I didn't think any of the straight
couples got the same warning, but in all fairness, I suppose me and Alice did
have a mild reputation.

Victoria and Rosalie were already there. Me and Alice had walked in, arm in
arm, and we paused to survey the room. The lights were dim with multi-colored
lights and the dancefloor was already sprinkled with couples. Balloons and
crepe paper festooned the raw cinderblock walls, and folding tables were set up
across one side of the gym along with folding chairs and a punch bowl where a
weary couple could rest and take refreshments. All in all, it seemed about as
glamorous as square-dancing in a barn somewhere, but Alice seemed to be
clutching my arm in genuine excitement.

I wasn't excited. Because my eyes weren't admiring the nice but frugal efforts
of the decorating committee; they were fixed on a certain couple who stood by
themselves in a darkened corner, calmly sipping punch and casting their eyes
across the dancefloor under the lamps. As if they were looking for someone. Or
waiting for someone. Victoria, like Alice, seemed pleased to be here for
whatever obscure reason that rendered proms appealing to vampires, and when her
eyes finally tripped over mine, she smiled with her scarlet lips, tilted her
head just slightly, and sipped her punch, keeping her gorgeous eyes fixed
firmly on mine over the rim of her paper cup.

Well. It probably wasn't the worst thing she was going to do to me—looking at
me like that—but for the moment it seemed bad enough. I looked away, my heart
in my throat. I'd known how sexy they were, of course, yet somehow it took me
by surprise, and it was a moment or two I remembered how afraid I should be.
Alice hadn't seen them, and when she looked at me to see how excited I was to
be at prom, I forced a smile and gave an enthusiastic nod.

Jane immediately began badgering Alice for a dance, but Alice insisted the
first dance had to be mine, and I was obliged to sail directly onto the floor
where I attempted to dance in my heels. Thankfully, she didn't require anything
complicated than an awkward shuffle and she seemed content to simply move
rhythmically beside me while music played. Leah had flatly refused to dance at
all so naturally she was out on the floor too, dancing with Jane. They didn't
look much like sisters, the way they grinded on each other. That faux-lesbian
stuff might've been perfectly normal in other places, but in a dreary town like
Forks, it called for a glance or two.

We danced, and as we danced, my eyes kept swinging to the redhead's, but so far
she hadn't leapt at me and ripped out my larynx. Whatever she was planning—if
anything—it seemed that for now at least she was content to watch. She hadn't
taken her gaze from me or Alice, and her look was cold, calculating – and yet
strangely playful, as if there were hard work to be done but if the right
method could be found it may be fun. I tried to avoid looking at her as much as
possible, but I was like a moth to the blazing flames of her hair, and every
time I glanced my heart sank a little more.

Alice had noticed them, too, but other than a disapproving glance, she paid
them no mind. She was in full girl-mode, and as we danced she talked fondly of
why she liked prom and why she enjoyed going to school sometimes. Forks had
been a little disappointing, but she'd met plenty of nice people, and above all
– she'd met me. I tried to think of something romantic to say back, but I came
up blank. All I wanted to do was get the hell out of here, but that probably
wasn't the most tender rejoinder to your girlfriend's heartfelt platitudes for
prom. So I just smiled and kissed her.

Pretty soon Jane came sniffing around for her dance and I was forced to
relinquish my Alice. I thought I'd been okay with it, but I felt a sudden stab
of loneliness as soon as our hands disconnected. But rather than be a
possessive bitch, I allowed my girlfriend a dance with her sister and smiled my
blessing. Alice was reluctant to part from me as well, but it was clear she was
pleased to dance with Jane. They immediately sashayed into a flamboyant waltz
and soon Alice was smiling and giggling and chatting away. Again I felt a
wriggle of guilt at asking Alice to leave them, but I squashed it mercilessly;
this was what Alice wanted, too.

Leah led me off the floor, thankfully not even offering to dance. She noticed
my nervousness and noticed the source, too. Glancing at the redhead, she asked
me if I was okay, and when talking didn't calm me she produced a more practical
cure; vodka. She had a bottle in her purse. I refused, since my last experience
hadn't been exactly a raging success, and Leah was kind enough not to pressure.
She poured her own punch cup half full and slipped bottle away, leaving me to
drink the punch itself. Supposedly it was fruit punch, but it tasted more like
chemicals than anything else.

Leah and I chatted for a while and soon one of the more braver boys in
attendance came over and requested a dance of the wolfish woman in a miniskirt
beside me. He was tall, muscular, and had boyish good looks that would've
caused fits of desperation in any young girl's heart. He looked like an ape to
me. Leah, however, seemed vaguely impressed—perhaps by his courage in
approaching her to begin with—and after a moment's appraisal she did him the
honor of allowing a dance. She turned to hand me her cup and while her back was
turned the boy practically melted in relief at not being rejected. Leah winked
as if she knew, and then she took his arm and let him lead her onto the floor.

Meanwhile Jane was done with Alice and came scurrying over to claim me for the
next dance. She was tugging me by the arm, completely ignoring my desperate
refusals. Finally I gave up and gulped the rest of my punch—but it was Leah's
cup, and the vodka burned all the way down my throat. Jane burst out giggling
as I coughed and hacked for a moment, but the warmth that spread through my
body was really relaxing, and I finished off the rest of the cup as soon as I
regained myself.

With a drink or two in me, I was much looser, and I found myself dancing with
Jane, then Alice, then Jane again. Then they both ganged up and forced Leah and
I to dance together. I managed to sneak another drink, first.

And all this time I could feel Victoria's eyes burning into my body. I didn't
know if I should be comforted in the fact that she'd rather stare at me than my
girlfriend or even more afraid. She and that blonde hadn't danced yet, but they
circled the floor like sexy sharks, watching me, pausing from time to time to
chat with girls they knew, even posing for pictures. The redhead seemed to be
quite popular, considering what a vile whore she was. She was wearing a
beautiful maroon evening dress that the other girls visibly gushed over. It was
long, elegant, absurdly expensive-looking. The blonde trailed at her side, not
as sociable, but far from shunned. She wore white, like me, but her's was shiny
white with a band of sequins at the hem. They were easily the most amazing
girls in the building, although Alice was by far the most fuckable – her dress
simply seemed to beg for it.

The dancing continued. Leah and I made requests to the DJ – it would've been
heartless not too after Jane and Alice hinted so hard at certain songs they'd
like to dance to. Leah snuck me a little more alcohol. Alice and I gave each
other head in the girl's bathroom. When we exited the stall the girls who'd
been retouching their makeup at the mirror knew what we did. They looked at us
with disgust and called us skanks, but we only giggled and ducked back into the
prom. They were probably just jealous.

Alice had lots of friends and she took me around as she admired their dresses
and took pictures of them with Jane's camera. I had the impression she was
subtly saying goodbye. She took more pictures of me, more pictures of Jane and
Leah. She glanced almost longingly at Victoria and Rosalie with the camera in
her hands, but she didn't mention it.

Mrs Cullen was one of the teachers on duty and I'd been trying to avoid her,
but Alice took me over and made me take their picture together. This was the
woman I'd cheated with yesterday and now I was taking her picture with my
girlfriend. To make the situation even more weird was the look she was giving
me. It seemed sad somehow, regret maybe, but I had my doubts if vampires were
even capable of such things, so I took the picture and tried to ignore how
beautiful the older woman looked in her blue dress with her caramel-colored
hair done up in a bouffant with adorable little sausage curls framing her face.

The song turned slow and we danced again only to have Jane cut in and send me
away with a giggle and a wave of her hand. It was always difficult to
relinquish Alice, but I consoled myself by remembering that I'd have an
eternity to dance with my darling and that I hated dancing anyway.

So I backed away, smiling anxiously as they settled in each other's arms to
sway and move to the music in a way that didn't seem appropriate for sisters,
even foster ones. Several teachers looked on with their brows knitted in formal
expressions of indecision, but none seemed sure if this semi-incestuous slow-
dance quite called for intervention. I hoped Jane would refrain from cupping
Alice's ass.

Meanwhile, I scanned the hall for something to do with myself. The blonde and
redhead were still watching, but by now my fear had dimmed away to a dull
terror in the pit of my stomach. It was getting late and soon I'd be able to
convince Alice to leave early. As unlikely as it seemed, I was beginning to
believe that they might actually leave me alone.

In any case, I couldn't exactly go over and strike up a casual conversation
with the nemesis of my very existence, so I scanned the gym again for Leah. But
she, too, was unapproachable. She was playing hostess to a group of boys who
huddled around her like penguins in their tuxedoes as she poured a bit of vodka
into each of their cups, their girlfriend's looking on in consternation from
across the gym where they'd been left. I had no idea why she felt so compelled
to bless boys with the honor of her presence, but I suppose we all have our
eccentricities.

It wasn't the kind of fun I could share, however, so I let my eyes roam some
more and finally I noticed Angela. She was by herself near the punch bowl,
quietly sipping from a paper cup, bobbing in place to the music as she watched
the dancing. I hadn't spoken to her in a while and she'd turned out to be one
of my few friends in Forks, so I went over, confident at least she wouldn't
toss her drink in my face and call me a dyke. Her dress was also white, but
hers had blue dots on the skirt, and frankly, it didn't really look expensive.
The fabric was dull—almost like cotton—but it seemed to suit her image, and it
would've been mean to mentally snicker at how much hotter I was. So I fixed my
face in a friendly smile that suggested I was accepting of all people no matter
how shabby their dress was and said:

"Hey."

She smiled to see me, which I thought was nice. Really a nice girl, Angela.
"Hi," she said, still bobbing, holding her cup in both hands. She nodded at my
neck. "Wow, cute collar," she said. "Is that one new?"

I touched my throat, feeling the lace under my fingertips. Alice and I had
special ordered it with the dress; white to match. It was just a thin strip of
lace that wrapped snug around my neck. It was see-through, almost, and you
could see the bite marks it covered if you looked close enough. It was actually
a piece of bridal lingerie. I was well aware of how sexy it looked against my
pale neck, so I nodded, almost proudly.

"Mmhm," I said. "Alice bought it for me. To go with the dress."

"Cool," she said. "How come you like those things so much? You're always
wearing one, even at school."

I shrugged coyly, still fingering the collar. "Because," I said, and because I
was kind of drunk, I added: "It symbolizes Alice's ownership of me."

As soon as the words were out, I felt a surge of liberation ripple through me.
Of course, being owned is the exact opposite of liberation, but it felt awesome
to it say out loud.

Angela was taken aback. It wasn't what she was expecting, and to play it safe,
she chuckled awkwardly. "That's cute," she said. "I wish I owned my boyfriend."

But the rush I got from saying it out loud wouldn't let her pass it off as a
joke, and I quickly went on to correct her. "No, seriously," I said, feeling
excitement bubble in my stomach. "She owns me. Like, literally. I do everything
she says, whenever she wants it. Like a pet. I'm, like, a total slave for her."

Angela tried to smile it away, but she faltered at the last second. We were
silent for a second, the music softly serenading in the back ground. Angela's
face seemed to go a little pale, but she managed a smile at last.

"Oh," she said, and lacking anything playful to add, she said: "That's pretty
fucked up."

I wasn't sure if that was suppose to be judgmental, but it didn't feel like it.
I nodded, smiling pleasantly. "It's a fucked up relationship," I confirmed.

She chuckled once, almost impressed but remaining disgusted for form's sake.
"No shit," she said.

I poured myself a cup of punch and sipped it. Alice and Jane were still swaying
in each other's arms in the dark of the dancefloor, and seeing them so intimate
reminded me of something that made me grin. I leaned to Angela and said: "We've
done group sex."

The thrill that passed through me made me grin even brighter. Angela startled,
as if she'd felt the thrill too.

"What?"

"Me and Alice," I said, tossing my chin at the dancefloor. "We've done group
sex."

She didn't know if I was joking, but my smile must've seemed a little radiant
for a lie, so she chuckled awkwardly. "Seriously?"

"Yep," I said.

Another awkward chuckle, this one a little looser. "Oh my god," she said. "What
kind of freak is she?"

"And that's not all, either," I went on. "We've done all kinds of things.
Bondage, BDSM, sex toys, things in public. Everything. Wanna see something?"

Angela quickly shook her head, as if afraid I was going to show her my boobs or
something. She held up a hand defensively and said: "I don't…"

But all I did was brush my hair away from my neck and peel aside my collar
slightly to show the bite marks. It was dark in the gym, but she noticed the
purple pinpricks right away.

"That's where Alice bit me," I said. "There was blood and everything. She bites
me all the time. Not just on the neck, everywhere."

"Jeez," she said shakily. She'd bent to examine the marks more closely and now
she straightened up. "What is she, a vampire?"

I fixed the collar and smirked. The alcohol had made my head a little dizzy,
but it wasn't just the alcohol. It was my love for Alice that truly intoxicated
me, the love and the pride I took in that love. I'd been somewhat ashamed of
myself when we first started dating and doing stuff, but it was different now.
Because now I realized that there was nothing ugly about how I felt about
Alice, nothing disgusting, nothing depraved. It was love, plain and simple.

That didn't explain how I'd been able to cheat on her, of course, but that
didn't seem important right then.

But suddenly I realized I was being very self-centered, talking about myself so
much, so I decided to redirect the topic. "What about you and your boyfriend?"
I asked politely. "Have you done it yet?"

The mention of her boyfriend piqued her interest. She went all coy and she
shook her head, still holding her cup in both hands. "Not yet," she said.
"Actually, he got us a motel room for tonight. But I'm not really sure."

I sipped my punch. "How come?"

"I don't know," she said, with a shrug. "They say it's supposed to be special.
I'm just not sure if I'm ready."

I nodded as if I understood, but frankly, the concept of not being ready was as
foreign to me as international tax laws – I'd been prepared to fuck the first
reasonably attractive thing that showed interest in me since puberty. But I
suppose it's different for straight girls. Having sex with a boy must require
more courage. After all, they're so ugly.

Angela shifted on the spot, watching the dancers. There seemed to be something
on her mind, and after a moment she turned to me. "What about you?" she asked.
"Do you regret doing it early?"

I laughed. Not the most elegant response to a question she seemed to take so
seriously, but I couldn't help it. The notion of regretting anything with Alice
was absurd. "No," I said, my giggles tapering off. "Of course not."

She seemed mildly ruffled and turned away primly. "Well," she said. "We're not
all total sluts like you."

I smirked; we're not all dating losers, either, but it didn't seem nice to
mention it. I sipped my punch. The dance had finished, but another slow song
started, and Jane captured Alice's hand as she tried to walk away. Alice gave
me an apologetic smile and twirled back into Jane's arms.

"What was it like with a strap-on?" Angela blurted suddenly. "Have you done it?
I mean, did it hurt?"

She was blushing and pretending she was just asking out of curiosity. I smiled
and shrugged. "Kind of," I said. "But a strap-on is probably way bigger than
anything your boyfriend's got, so I wouldn't worry about it."

She actually smirked at that, and then shook her head quickly, as if to shake
the smirk away. It didn't work, but as her eyes swung to the side they landed
on Leah – who was approaching out of the gloom, smiling, sauntering over in a
swing of hips. Angela's smile dropped away instantly, and she turned aside,
blushing even worse. You could almost hear her mentally praying that Leah
wasn't coming over, but she was, and when she arrived she smirked at Angela's
shyness.

"Hey there," she said. "Angela, right?"

Angela nodded, struggling mightily with an attempt at casualness. Obviously she
remembered Leah from our shopping trip to her store, when we'd made out briefly
in front of her. The event seemed to have made an impact on her. I'd been
suspicious of a girlcrush before, but this confirmed it. It reminded me of how
I used to behave around Alice when I first met her and I couldn't help sharing
a smile with Leah. She'd probably been coming over to see me, but confronted
with Angela's obvious awkwardness, she switched targets.

"I remember you," she said. "From that little store."

Angela nodded again. She seemed to be afraid to speak. Leah smirked and looked
about briefly.

"So," she said, "where's your little boyfriend tonight?"

Angela couldn't avoid a direct question, so she pointed vaguely in some
direction, and said: "He's, um, with his friends."

"Left you alone, huh?"

I bit my lip to keep from smirking. Poor Angela. She shrugged, still feigning
casualness. Leah took the punch cup out of my hands, sipped, and passed it
back. Angela followed the cup with her eyes, but Leah hadn't taken her eyes off
Angela.

"Wanna go for a walk?" she asked.

Angela had trouble understanding the question. "Where?"

Leah smirked and tossed her chin in the general direction of where they could
be alone. "Outside," she said. "Get some air. You look a little hot."

Angela gulped, but managed to wave a hand casually. "Nah, I'll just wait here."

But Leah wasn't taking no for an answer. "Come on," she said, and actually
wrapped her arm around Angela's shoulders. "You coming, Bella?"

I smiled and shook my head. It seemed obvious that she only invited me to set
Angela at ease, but it didn't seem to work. Angela threw a panicked look over
her shoulder, but she allowed Leah to lead her away. You could almost see her
bare shoulders tingling under Leah's arm.

And then I was alone again. Alice and Jane were still dancing, and since I'd
already exhausted my entire roster of friends with Angela, I simply stood by
the punchbowl and watched my girlfriend drape herself all over her sister. It
wasn't long before jealousy began to brood in my chest. They weren't dry-
humping each other, but they looked like they wanted too.

I could understand why Jane wanted to dance with Alice. Alice looked so sexy in
her tiny black dress that I'm sure even the straightest girls in attendance had
caught themselves glancing at her in confusion. But why was Alice so happy to
dance with Jane? Was it simply a farewell gesture? Or did all this mean she was
having second thoughts about leaving?

Jealousy mingled with insecurity and doubt until I was glaring sullenly at the
back of Jane's blonde head with almost real hatred. But before I could run out
onto the floor and chase her away from my girl with a crucifix, someone
appeared beside me at the punch bowl and poured themselves a cup.

I'd been so distracted that I didn't even notice until I heard the punch splash
in the cup. The punch was terrible, so it was a low-traffic area. I glanced
once, just to make sure it wasn't the redhead in preparation of yet another
hostile seduction. But it wasn't the redhead, it was just some blonde. But a
really cute blonde, so I glanced again, and—

Lauren.

It was Lauren.

She was so beautiful that I hadn't even recognized her. Her platinum hair was
elaborately styled into something that belonged on the cover of a magazine. I'd
never seen her with her hair up, and she looked almost like a different person.
Her makeup was perfect, and she wore elegant-looking earrings that looked like
diamonds but were probably fake. Her dress was rose-pink and it was lowcut with
sleeves off the shoulder. She must've been wearing padding, because I'd seen
her breasts, and they weren't that pronounced. But the overall image was
amazing and she looked like she'd spent hours getting ready, as if she wanted
to be absolutely perfect.

But why? She had no boyfriend, not anymore. I'd heard that she wasn't even
going to be at prom. And yet here she was, the prettiest mortal in the
building. And late, too. I hadn't seen her all night, so she only must've just
arrived. But why would she be so late? Because maybe she was shy in her pretty
dress?

Or because she was shy to see me?

I didn't know where that thought came from. It was vain, self-centered,
completely ridiculous that a girl as confident and brash as Lauren could
possibly be concerned with—

But it made sense, didn't it? I was the person she liked. Or even loved, maybe.
She could deny it as much as she wanted, but we both knew the truth. So if
she'd put extra-effort into her appearance…could it possibly be aimed at me?

I didn't know, but the thought made my heart flare, and for a second I simply
stared at her. She was standing at the punch bowl, calmly sipping from her cup,
pretending to not even notice me. Her aquiline profile was in its usual sullen
mask and she seemed more interested in examining the contents of her cup than
paying attention to the secret crush at her side who had just double-taked at
her and proceeded to stare.

Maybe she was only thirsty. But it also seemed like a subtle bid for attention,
and maybe it was the alcohol that made me confident, or maybe I just wasn't
such a loser anymore, but either way it was me that spoke first.

"Wow," I said, feeling my mouth curve into a smile. "You look amazing."

Now she decided to notice me. The compliment must've been close to exactly what
she wanted to hear, but from the grumpy frown she gave me you would've thought
I'd totally missed the point and she'd been aiming at ugly. "Thanks," she
muttered.

This would've been point where anyone else would've walked away, away to their
real friends, the ones they could talk to without massive amounts of tension
between them. But she stay put, right at the punch bowl, as if she liked it so
much she was planning to refill her cup as soon as it was gone.

I glanced at the dancefloor. Alice's back was to me and my heart panged as I
checked out her legs. But then I turned back to Lauren and the pang smoothed
out into something more subtle. I just couldn't get over how beautiful she was,
with her perfect hair and slender neck. I let my eyes roam over her dress and I
smiled at her feet – she was wearing pink little shoes with diamante
butterflies on the toes. But what fascinated me most was her face. Her skin was
so much more colorful than a vampire's, so vibrant and soft-looking. Her
complexion was perfectly peach-colored and I found myself staring, staring at
this girl who'd been my crush since forever, gently dazed with a romantic
ballad in the background, feeling my heart stir as—

"Jeez," she muttered, glaring at me uncomfortably. "Would you stop fucking
staring?"

I looked away quickly. I was pretty sure that the purpose behind her dress was
to make me look, but obviously I wasn't suppose to know that. So I apologized.
"Sorry," I said, and in an attempt to explain, I added: "You look beautiful in
pink."

She snorted, turning away to look at the dancefloor. She didn't reply.

"No, really," I said. "Pink's always looked great on you."

"I fucking hate it," she muttered.

I smiled conversationally, even though she wasn't looking at me. "So why do you
wear it?"

She snorted, still not looking at me. "My fucking mom," she said. "She keeps
making my wear pink shit and she made me take fucking ballet lessons and join
that fucking cheersquad and she keeps going on and on about getting back
together with my fucking boyfriend. Fucking bitch tries to control my life. I'm
fucking sick of it."

Well. She wasn't sick of the word 'fuck,' at any rate. But perhaps this was
further root of her denial. If her mom wanted a ballerina with a boyfriend for
a daughter, it was probably safe to assume that she preferred her straight,
too.

By now the song had finished and there was a brief round of applause. The song
had been so romantic that some of the girls had to wipe their eyes. Either that
or their boyfriends were painful on their retinas. Alice had noticed me with
Lauren and she was already on her way over, Jane beside her. She was smiling,
but her eyes were alert, looking for anything suspicious between me and the
girl who liked me.

"Hi, Lauren," she said pleasantly, as if we were all best friends. "Wow, pretty
dress. Want me to take a picture of you and Bella?"

It was a noble gesture—extremely noble—but it was wasted on Lauren. She looked
Alice in the eye, even leaning forward slightly, and said: "Fuck you."

She said it in very clear and distinct syllables, so that there could be no
doubt that Lauren just frankly hated Alice. It was moments like these that made
me wonder if Lauren was really gay. How could anyone attracted to the female
form be insensible to Alice's sheer hotness? Maybe ordinary lesbians really
aren't rabid over every cute girl they see.

Alice's smile faltered, but she didn't retaliate. In the end, it was Jane who
intervened – on Lauren's side. For a girl who claimed to miss her sister so
badly she sure didn't have any principles against being a total bitch to her
sometimes.

"Yeah, fuck you, Alice," she said with a giggle, and then she actually took
Lauren's hand. "Come on, Laurie, let's get out of here. Let's leave these
lezbos alone."

Lauren didn't seem eager to leave me so quickly, but it was probably the best
exit she could hope for, so she let Jane lead her away into the crowd, only
looking over her shoulder once.

I turned back to Alice. She'd been watching me watch Lauren leave, and her
expression was guarded, but her voice came out naturally.

"Lauren looks nice, doesn't she?"

She did, but now, face to face with Alice, it didn't seem important anymore.
Alice was sexy, sublime, utterly fucking gorgeous; so I fixed my slightly tipsy
smile on her and leaned to give her a little kiss.

"Not as sexy as you," I whispered.

She giggled. Then she took the punch out of my hand, drained it—it had a little
vodka in it—and set the cup on the white tablecloth. "Come on," she said,
taking my hand. "Let's dance."

And then we were dancing. The evening was winding down and the songs were
mostly slow. Alice had a hand on my shoulder and I had a hand at her waist, our
other hands clasped. I suppose that meant I was leading, but all we were doing
was moving slowly in a slow rhythm, gazing into each other's eyes under the
disco ball above with flickers of light playing over our faces. Alice smiled.

"Are you having fun, baby?"

Actually, I was, but the question reminded me that I shouldn't be. I threw a
quick glance across the dance floor, in case the redhead was waiting by with a
bucket of pig's blood for some awful prank, but there was nothing but other
dancers. So I turned back to Alice and smiled, but with anxiety in my heart.

"I'm just happy being with you," I told her.

She stroked my shoulder and smiled. "That's sweet."

I nodded as if I agreed with her. Then I hesitated and asked: "So when are we
leaving?"

She smiled at me indulgently, as if I was a kid trying to get out of something
that was good for her. "Soon," she said. "Very soon. Trust me, baby, I'm as
eager as you. I just want it to be perfect, that's all."

I could've told her that our chances for perfection would drastically increase
if we got the hell out of here as quickly as possible, but instead I said: "You
know, you never told me how you're going to do it."

She looked at me for a second as we danced. Her look could only be described as
hungry. Her eyes were dark on the dark dancefloor and flecks of light from the
disco ball kept racing across her pale face. She smiled with her mouth open,
tongue toying with her fangs, and spoke in a husky whisper. "It'll be a
surprise," she said. "All I can tell you is that it'll be perfect. Absolutely
perfect."

Her words gave me a shiver of anticipation. I hoped it would be perfect. For
me, I didn't care so much, but I knew that this was a huge deal to Alice, and I
wanted it to be as special as possible for her. I just hope the redhead—

My thoughts cut off as I glanced over Alice's shoulder and saw the blonde and
the redhead. They were dancing. It was the first time I'd seen them on the
dancefloor, and the redhead was holding the blonde's hand against her chest as
they gazed romantically into each other's eyes, foreheads touching. They were
drawing more stares than a pair of strippers, and it was easy to see why; they
did not look like sisters.

"What's the matter?" Alice asked, and turned to look. She froze for a second,
but then she recovered and turned back to me. "Just ignore them, baby.
Victoria's always loved a good ball. She's just here to enjoy herself."

As she said it, the redhead turned her eyes to me. It was just a look, but it
stopped my heart. I turned away, letting my fear show on my face. Alice had
mellowed out a little about the redhead lately, but that was only because she
didn't know the truth. As far as she knew, all the redhead had done was fail to
seduce me once. She didn't know that days earlier the redhead had forced me
down, sat on my face, and made me like it. She also didn't know how pissed the
redhead was that I'd not only rejected her, but beat her, bit her, and spat in
her face as if she was a piece of trash. And, frankly, a pissed redhead was
something that scared me. Even the warm and friendly redhead was terrifying.

"I don't trust her," I said. "What if she… what if she…"

Alice was caressing my shoulder soothingly. "Don't worry," she said. "I won't
let her hurt you."

It was nice of her to say, but so far my well-meaning girlfriend had a
particularly poor record in the protection department. In fact, the very first
time the redhead had seduced me was in her own house with Alice downstairs;
obviously Alice's knightly instincts were sadly lacking.

Therefore it was up to me. It was my relationship, too, and if Alice couldn't
protect me or even protect herself, then I had to try for both of us. So I
actually stopped dancing and took a step back, still holding Alice's hand.
"Let's just leave, okay?" I said, tugging her hand gently. "Come on, let's just
go. Let's just—"

But the redhead's timing was as wonderful as always. She approached out of the
darkness, blonde in tow, and smiled – at Alice. "Good evening, Alice," she
said. She flickered her eyes over my girlfriend's body as it was encased in her
black satin dress. "You look ravishing."

Alice frowned, but I'd seen the same frown on Lauren; she was secretly excited.
"Thanks," she muttered.

The redhead turned to me with a certain superiority, and with a chest her size
it really wasn't difficult for her to assert superiority. The maroon of her
gown was as dark as blood and the bodice of her dress hiked her generous
breasts into a blinding décolletage that actually managed to distract me for a
fraction of a second.

"Mind if I cut in, dear?"

I snapped my eyes up to her face and shook my head. "I don't…"

But the redhead only smiled and took Alice's hand away from mine. "Just one
dance," she said. "You can have her back when I'm done, don't worry." Then she
smirked. "If she still wants you, of course."

Alice gave me a look that was lost and unsure, but when the redhead tugged her,
she twirled into the other woman's arms like a puppet, lifting her eyes and
locking them grudgingly onto Victoria's. The reluctance was charade only, but I
hoped she believed it as much as I did. Alice was obviously not over her
mistress, and no matter how hard she tried to be upset with her for all the
trouble she'd caused between us, the truth was always plain; it was Victoria's
dark side that had originally attracted her.

Someone took my hand.

I looked; it was the blonde. Rosalie. Her expression was not warm, inviting, or
friendly; yet for some reason she felt compelled to dance with me. So I let
her. She put my hand on her shoulder and put her own at my waist. We started
moving to the music, softly, slowly. My eyes kept darting to Alice and
Victoria, but hers remained fixed on my face. Victoria was saying something to
Alice, and my heart was clenching as I hoped she wasn't gloating about our
encounter last week, how she'd stripped me down, and plucked my nipples, and
forced me to keep still as—

"She's not going to say anything," Rosalie said. "She's too proud."

I looked up at her. She was taller than me, much taller, and her perfect face
held an expression of cool resentment. But I relaxed slightly at her words. I'd
been counting on pride keeping the woman's mouth shut, and if we could only
make it through tonight, through this dance, then—

"But it doesn't matter what she says," the blonde went on. "Alice will return
to us eventually. So will you."

I bristled, my brows gathering into a frown. Her haughty face watched me
coolly, but just because she was as gorgeous as an angel, didn't mean I was
going to admit I was secretly turned on by the idea of a sexual relationship
with her and her mistress. So I glared and said: "No, we won't. We love each
other. And only each other."

She snorted. "What would you know about love?"

"I know it's not about being tied up and spanked," I retorted.

And suddenly I feared for my life. The preference of the proud and haughty
blonde to be tied up and spanked on her pretty ass was probably not something
she liked mentioned out loud, and for a second she stared down at me, simmering
with cold rage. I glared back feebly. Finally she released a breath through her
nostrils.

"Victoria has her desires and I have mine," she said. "Together we fulfill
those desires. Call it whatever you want – we're a match. Unlike you and Alice,
who have to lie and delude and trick yourselves into believing in something
that doesn't even exist."

Her words were truer than I'd ever admit, but I snapped back with a confidence
I didn't really feel. "You don't believe in true love because you'll never have
it. Me and Alice do. We're soulmates. Why can't you people understand? Alice
doesn't want you anymore. Get over it. Move on."

The blonde looked at me silently. Then she inclined her head to where Alice and
Victoria were dancing in the lapsing flare of the multi-colored lights.

"Look at them," she said.

I looked. Alice was much shorter than the redhead and she was staring blankly
at the other woman's collarbone as the other woman's lips moved silently,
whispering a poison that seemed to be slowly killing Alice's resistance.

"Do you honestly think she doesn't want it?" the blonde asked. "Do you honestly
think you don't want it?"

I glared up at her. Honesty was not something either Alice nor I valued in our
relationship, and regardless of any mistakes we'd made or will make, we were
still soulmates. So I said:

"I don't."

The blonde's lips moved slightly into a smirk. "No?"

"No."

She obviously didn't believe me. She leaned to me closely, erotically close,
and whispered onto my lips. "What if I were to seduce you right now?" she said.
"Hm? What if I went down on you right here on the dancefloor? Would you want
that?"

Raw heat rippled over my skin, but I kept my face and voice firm. "You'd have
better luck raping me again," I said. "How did that feel, by the way? To lower
yourself to the same level as the men who—"

I guess I went too far. Her hand suddenly seized a handful of my hair and my
words were chopped off in a painful gasp.

"Shut up," she hissed.

I spat on her face. "Fuck you."

Her reaction shocked me; she forced her lips on mine and kissed me savagely. My
mouth opened traitorously and hot excitement ignited in my core as she forced
her tongue into my mouth. But my passiveness only lasted a second before I
began tonguing her back in mindless fury.

Dimly I heard several gasps from the nearby couples and it occurred to me how
amazingly hot we must look. Both of us in white dresses, both of us beautiful.
Her lighthaired, me darkhaired. Like angry angels making out on the dancefloor
with fistfuls of each other's hair, moaning, bodies mashed together.

"Holy fuck…" someone said.

Who knows how far we might've gone, if we hadn't been interrupted. At first I
thought it was Alice, but it wasn't. Despite Alice's vows to protect me, she
had her back to the whole scene, transfixed on her old mistress. It was momma-
vamp who broke it up. Mrs Cullen, of the English faculty.

"Rosalie!" she hissed, grabbing my hand and snatching me away from her
daughter. "Rosalie! What do you think you're doing?"

I was dazed. People were staring. Rosalie smirked and licked her lips. Mrs
Cullen swept her worried eyes over of the gawking crowd and turned to me. "Come
with me, Miss Swan," she said, and began to lead me away.

I stumbled along and looked back helplessly. The blonde was walking up behind
Alice and a feeling of sick dread bloomed in my stomach as I watched the blonde
snake her arms around Alice's waist as Alice put her arms around the redhead's
neck.

Mrs Cullen took me into the girl's locker room. It was dark outside and
moonlight fell from the high windows. The white tiles in the shower stalls were
tinted dark blue and the blocks of lockers cast long shadows. The locker room
was completely empty and our heels clicked sharply on the concrete floor.

"I'm so sorry about that," Mrs Cullen said, her voice echoing hollowly among
the steel lockers. "Now that we've decided to leave Forks it seems they're all
determined to be as indiscreet as possible. Are you okay?"

I'd been looking around, dazed, completely unable to form any thoughts at all
about what I was supposed to do now. She was still holding my hand and her
voice jarred me back into the present. "I'm fine," I said, then frowned. "Why
are we in here?"

A smile crossed her face in the dark. "Well," she said, slipping her other hand
onto my waist. "After such an appalling display, you need to be disciplined,
don't you?"

I went cold all over. "What?"

She kissed me. But I wasn't in the mood this time. My relationship was
disintegrating in the gym while I was in the locker room being seduced by my
English teacher, and suddenly it was too much. I was sick of these vampires,
sick of their games, their lies, their lusts. I made a muffled protest under
her lips, but she only kissed harder, forcing her tongue into my mouth.

My mind hazed for just a moment, but only a moment. Her tongue felt nice and I
was so upset. It would've been so easy to just let myself forget, just open my
mouth a little wider and let her kiss my problems away. But it was Alice I
wanted and Alice who was in trouble. Alice deserved better than these horrible,
disgusting, putrid fucking whores, and it was up to me to save her, to take her
away, to give her the happily ever after she deserved.

So I struggled, trying to disengage myself gently. But she held me firm.
Suddenly her tongue felt disgusting and vile and finally I twisted out of the
older woman's grip and shoved her away. "Fuck!" I spat, wiping my mouth. "What
the fuck is wrong with you people?!"

She seemed slightly confused. "Why, what's the matter, darling?" she said. "I
thought—"

"What's the matter?" I echoed, my voice trembling through the empty locker
room. "I'm in love with your daughter, you disgusting bitch!"

Her mouth fell open and her face went aghast. She was totally shocked. "I-I'm
sorry," she said, stepping backwards. "I thought you liked me."

I may have given that impression when I fucked her in her classroom yesterday
afternoon, but that was then, this was now. She'd taken advantage of me,
whether she realized it or not, and that was never happening again. From this
moment on, there was only one woman I wanted; Alice.

So I didn't even answer, I simply spun around and stormed out. I emerged into
the gym and felt a sense of panic sweep over me. I couldn't see them. I rushed
out onto the dancefloor and threaded through the couples, searching for red
hair, blonde hair, Alice's ass. But there was nothing.

I stuck a hand in my hair and looked around helplessly, my eyes sweeping across
the gym. The dancers gave me awkward glances, but there was no sign of Alice.
Where could they have gone? Did they leave? I'd only been gone a couple
minutes. What if they left and they were driving to the airport right now,
calling ahead for tickets to Paris? What if—

Suddenly I grabbed a girl by the arm. "Have you seen, Alice?" I asked her
desperately. "She was just here, she…"

She tugged her arm back and looked at me disgustedly. "Get away from me,
freak."

I almost started begging, but the guy she was dancing with—who was naturally
more sympathetic to the distress of a young lesbian—cocked a thumb toward the
doors. "I think she left," he said, and already I was running for the exit.

I stumbled outside into the cold and cast my eyes across the parking lot.
Alice's Volvo was still there and so was the Victoria's convertible. It was
still windy and I hugged my shoulders as I wondered what to do. They weren't in
the gym and their cars were still here. I started off in one direction. Maybe—

"Hey, dyke!" a slurred voice called out. "Where're you going?"

I recognized the voice.

Lauren.

I turned around and she came ambling up, grinning, an almost empty bottle of
vodka in her hand. She was drunk and she was stumbling in her pretty pink
shoes, giggling as she righted herself and took a swig out the bottle.

Obviously she'd gotten the alcohol from Leah and Jane. Neither of them had been
in the gym when I checked, so they probably didn't know where Alice was, but
maybe Lauren had seen something.

"I'm looking for Alice," I said. "Have you seen her?"

Lauren laughed and waved the bottle. "Oh, fuck that freak," she said. "Why you
fucking with that freak for, anyway? Jane said—" She paused to giggle. "Jane
said—"

"I don't care what Jane said," I interrupted. "Have you seen her?"

"Nup," she said, and then giggled drunkenly. "Angela's gone too. Probably
fucking her loser boyfriend somewhere. Good luck, huh? Guys suck."

I looked at her with pity as she took another large gulp out the bottle. Two
people walked past on their way to the parking lot, glancing at the drunk girl.
It was amazing no teacher had seen her yet. She lowered the bottle, giggling,
and held it out to me.

"Want a drink?"

I shook my head.

"Aww, come on," she grinned, rattling the bottle. There wasn't much left in it.
"Have a drink," she said, and stumbled up to me, throwing and arm around my
shoulders. "Let's get drunk and fuck," she said into my face. "Like we did. At
the beach." She trailed off into a giggle.

I felt sorry for her, but my girlfriend was in danger of being devoured by a
dominatrix and her blonde subordinate, so I tried to pry her off gently. "Let
me go, Lauren," I said. "I don't want to."

She tried to kiss me. "You did before," she said, aiming at my lips.

"That was when I was broken up," I said, turning away my face. "I have Alice
now."

She pouted and pushed me away playfully. "Oh, fuck Alice," she said. "Alice,
Alice, Alice. Fucking freak."

I looked at her sadly. Why did she have to be so difficult? If she hadn't been
such a repressed bitch, we probably would've went to prom together, and by now
we'd probably be drunk together and making out in the back of her car. But
instead—

She stared at me drunkenly, swaying slightly like a cobra, and then she grinned
and draped herself over me again. "Come on," she hissed in my ear. "Fuck me,
Bella. Please? I'm so fucking horny…"

She kissed me, but I turned my face away after the briefest contact, my lips
tingling. "Get off me, Lauren," I said, but she tried to kiss me again, and
suddenly I shoved her away forcefully.

She stumbled back, skidding on the asphalt in her pink shoes, the butterflies
on her toes winking in the moonlight. Her hair twisted in the cold night wind
and she looked at me with a sudden hatred.

"Well fuck you!" she screamed. "Fucking stupid dyke. You think you're so much
better than me? You think you're so perfect because you never had a boyfriend?
Because you're so fucking gay!?"

A group of boys in the parking lot looked over at the sound of the screech. A
thin cloud of smoke hung in the night air above them as they passed around a
joint or two. I looked away embarrassedly and tried to put a hand on Lauren's
shoulder.

"Lauren," I said.

But I didn't know what to say, and suddenly she burst into tears. She swatted
my hand away and looked at me accusingly. "I thought you liked me," she said
miserably.

My throat went tight. "I do," I whispered, and suddenly she stopped crying and
lurched at me again.

"Then please," she moaned. "Please, just…"

"I can't," I said, pushing at her softly.

I was trying to be gentle, but in the end it was her who snapped and shoved me
back. I staggered in my heels, only barely avoiding a fall. Lauren glared at me
venomously.

"Well, maybe Jane will fuck me then," she spat. "She's totally fucking lezbo
too, you know. She just lies about it because she's not an idiot. She even
tried to kiss me, but I… but I…"

But it was me she wanted. She had rejected Jane because she wanted me, that's
what she couldn't say. I felt sorry for her, and I wanted her to be happy—I
really did—but Alice was still missing, and I had to find her. So I tried to
calm Lauren.

"You're drunk, Lauren," I said. "You should go home. Do you need a ride? If you
help me find Alice, we could drop you—"

It was the wrong thing to say. She reeled back and threw the empty vodka bottle
at me. She had probably been aiming at my face, but even if I hadn't flinched
away it would've missed. It exploded against the wall of the gym.

"Fuck you!" Lauren hissed. "And fuck that little freak too!"

She then spun around and wheeled away. Already a teacher had come out to
inspect the crash of glass. She examined the fragments and turned to look for a
culprit. I was already hurrying away, head down, hair whipping in the wind.

There was only one place left to look, and that's were I found them. Part of
the school grounds had used to be a small park, and a portion of the park had
been preserved, including a garden, some hedges, and a wrought iron gazebo that
had been decorated for prom with twinkle-lights coiled around the posts and
strung from the lattice fretwork that hung from the ceiling like iron icing.
That's where I found them.

There were no teachers, no other students. Just my girlfriend and her former
lovers. It was late and cold and windy, and everyone who hadn't left was inside
or getting ready to leave. Music carried dimly from the speakers within the
gym, but they weren't dancing. The gazebo was a raised wooden platform with an
ornate iron fence and iron pillars holding up the iron dome of the roof. There
was a pair of iron park-benches that ran either side of the gazebo and Alice
had a foot propped up on one of them. Her dress was hiked up slightly over her
ass and she was poking her pussy at the blonde who was kneeling behind her and
licking at it. Her black panties were stretched between her knees. The redhead
had dropped the shoulder straps of her gown and exposed her breasts for Alice
to suck on. The wind raced through her hair, her long red locks flickering like
fire, the heavy fabric of her maroon dress stirring ponderously against her
legs. She was the first to notice me and she smiled, holding my girlfriend's
mouth to her naked chest, her smile triumphant yet inviting, as if offering to
let me join in but only because she was willing.

It was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen, and for a second I could only stare, my
lips parted slightly and a cold wind passing over my bare shoulders. For one
blinding instant the temptation to join them was overwhelming, so overwhelming
I actually swayed as I tasted it, like a lily in the breeze. But my love for
Alice was stronger than anything else, and the sight of her between these two
monsters, completely at the mercy of their sickeningly gorgeous bodies,
suddenly made me sick. A cold black rage seethed into my heart as I approached
the iron steps and stepped up into the gazebo.

"Get away from her," I said.

My voice was quiet, cold, a voice hardly like my own. Rosalie stopped licking
at the interruption and glared at me, the side of her face pressed against
Alice's ass possessively. Alice stopped sucking on the redhead's nipple and
looked at me blankly. She almost didn't seem to recognize me, but she did. One
of her hands was tenderly cupping the redhead's heavy breast and she didn't let
it go. She didn't even move her mouth very far from her nipple.

"Bella," she said.

Victoria smiled and turned Alice's face back to her breasts. Alice didn't
resume sucking, but she didn't resist, either. She simply blinked with her
cheek resting in her mistress's bosom, eyes glazed, almost catatonic. Rosalie
spared me a smirk, a glaze of my girlfriend's pussy-juice covering her lips as
she knelt at my girlfriend's ass. My ass. The wind riffled in her hair and
dress, and then turned her tongue back to Alice's pussy, licking across it
generously with a gloating moan. A smile flickered over Alice's mouth at the
contact, and it was enough to break her all over again; her tiny hand lifted a
handful of Victoria's breast as she captured that fat and swollen nipple
between her lips once again.

"How fortunate you could join us, Miss Swan," Victoria said. "Come. There's
plenty of Alice for everyone."

My fists were balled at my sides. "Get away from her," I growled.

Victoria laughed, the straps of her dress dangling at her elbows, her chest
completely bare. She stroked Alice's hair and Alice continued sucking,
unmindful of me or anything else. Victoria smiled at me, holding her in place.
"Oh, dear, are we trying to be tough? I'm afraid you won't catch me off guard
again this time. I have my Rosalie with me now, and she can be quite
protective."

Rosalie had her entire tongue thrust into Alice's pussy, and at the mention of
her name she opened her eyes to gloat at me for a second. Then she closed them
again, withdrawing her tongue and licking and sliding it in again.

The rage felt like bile in my throat and I glared at Victoria so hard it felt
like my heart would burst from fury. "I don't care," I said. "Get away from
her."

Victoria didn't laugh this time. She sighed, but still made no move to release
Alice. "Miss Swan, in all earnestness," she said. "There's no need to be so
upset. Come, join us. We're all sisters now. Things could be so perfect, if
only—"

"I'm not interested," I interrupted. "Neither is Alice. Now. Get the fuck—away
from my girlfriend."

Victoria's expression darkened, but it seemed she was truly a woman who
despised the inelegancies of confrontation; she released Alice's face roughly
and stepped away. Rosalie followed suit, withdrawing her tongue from Alice's
pussy and rising to her feet gracefully. Alice gave a little gasp, as if
startled at this sudden abandonment. Lacking anything to do or be done to her,
she seemed lost and without purpose, and slowly she simply slumped lifelessly
to her knees, like a marionette with its strings cut.

"You're beginning to truly annoy me, Miss Swan," Victoria said, lifting her
shoulder straps and adjusting her breasts back into the maroon velvet of her
dress. "Who do you think you are? Our coven has existed for hundreds of years
in perfect harmony. What gives you the right to ruin it?"

I looked at the blonde and at the redhead, tall, proud, voluptuous, sublimely
sexy in their elegant evening gowns. I looked at Alice, sprawled on the floor
like something broken, unmoving, panties around her knees. One of her shoes had
fallen off and her legs were so beautiful and so bare. I felt so sorry for her,
the way she was just slumped there. She deserved so much better than to be
treated like this and suddenly I knew exactly why I had the right to interfere.
So I turned my eyes to Victoria and told her.

"Because I love her," I said.

Alice didn't look up, but the declaration seemed to stir her. She kept her eyes
fixed on the floorboards, but she began tugging up her panties absently.
Rosalie glared at me hatefully and Victoria took a step forward aggressively.

"Love," she said, and then spat in distain, a shockingly crude gesture from
such a refined woman. "Your ignorance sickens me. You don't love her, you
stupid girl. You're simply a dumb slut who latched onto the first woman that
liked her. You are nothing compared to me."

Alice had curled up at the foot of the bench, arms wrapped around her bare
knees, ignoring the whole world. My heart ached to run over and hold her, but I
didn't want to risk provoking the blonde or the redhead. But the redhead had
noticed my longing and surprisingly her expression softened. She straightened
up haughtily, the wind passing through her hair, her dress.

"Well, there's obviously no reasoning with you," she said. "Not tonight, at
least." She glanced down at Alice dispassionately and then held out her hand
for Rosalie. Rosalie took it obediently. "Rosalie and I will be leaving now,"
she said to me. "We'll give you some time to talk. I suggest you use that time
to reflect on what's happened here tonight and redefine your relationship to
include the rest of the coven. There is no other way I'll allow it to exist. Do
I make myself clear?"

I didn't answer. I had no intention of including anyone else in our
relationship. Me and Alice were going to be together forever for all eternity,
just us, no one else. And after tonight neither of us would ever have to look
at Victoria's vilely gorgeous face again.

Victoria seemed to take my silence for agreement. She passed at my side and
down the steps, leading her blonde like an obedient feline. I tensed up as she
went by, but they did go by, and when I looked over my shoulder they were
making their way through the darkness around the back of the gym.

Alice hadn't moved. She was still curled up in a fetal position, as if trying
to pretend she didn't even exist. My love for her overwhelmed me and I hurried
over to bob down beside her. There wasn't a single ounce of resentment in all
of my being for whatever she did or allowed to be done, just love and the
desire to make her feel better, so I gathered her into my arms with no
hesitation and began to stroke her hair.

"Hey," I whispered. "It's okay, Alice, they're gone now. Come on, get up."

She didn't answer, but she couldn't block out my voice entirely. She turned her
face away and blinked back tears of shame. My heart felt like it was splitting
from the sudden rush of love and pity I felt for her, and I tugged down the hem
of her dress a bit more to cover her butt properly. I didn't blame her, not at
all. I had no idea what the redhead had said to her and I didn't care. All I
knew was that I had to get her away from here, away from the coven. I had to
take her somewhere where I could love her properly, the way she deserved.

So I raised her up and hefted her onto the bench, sitting beside her and
wrapping my arm around her. Her head lolled against my shoulder and she stared
into my lap vacantly. I kissed her soft hair, holding her hand, inhaling her
scent that was mingled with the scent of the blonde and the redhead, hating
them but loving Alice, my heart throbbing painfully within my chest.

"It's okay, Alice," I whispered. "You'll be okay now."

I rocked her gently, looking out across the dark schoolyard. We should be safe
from here. The redhead was gone, and if we could only get in the car and start
driving, we'd soon be completely—

"She's right," Alice said.

My heart jumped to hear her voice. I lifted her head and looked into her face.
I was so happy to hear her speak I didn't even know what she said, so I asked
her. "Right about what?"

"You," she said, but her voice wasn't accusing. It was calm, dead, resigned.
"You don't love me, do you? Not really. I'm just the first girl who liked you."

So that's what the redhead had been telling her. I wished Alice had had more
faith in me, but I guess so far I hadn't proven to be the best girlfriend. But
that was going to change, beginning right now.

"Of course I love you, Alice," I said. "I love you more than anything."

She looked into my eyes sadly, plaintively. "Not as much as I love you," she
said.

That seemed a little unfair, considering the position I'd just rescued her
from, but her voice was so small, so lost, that I was sure she hardly had any
idea what she was saying. She wasn't insecure about me, she was insecure about
herself, everything. So I held her face firmly and looked firmly into her eyes.

"That's bullshit," I said. "You're everything to me, Alice. Absolutely
everything. And I'm going to spend the rest of my life proving it. So let's get
out of here, okay? Come on, let's just go. There's no point staying anymore."

But she only shook her head away from my hands. She stared down into her lap
and she didn't seem to have the enthusiasm to do anything else. Then she
brushed the back of her hand against her dress, as if to clear something away.
"I should've listened to you," she said. "It was a bad idea to go to prom."

I tightened my arm around her shoulders. "It's okay, Alice."

"I just wanted it to be perfect, that's all."

"It still can be," I assured her. "All we have to do is leave."

She shook her head sadly, refusing to look at me. "No," she said. "It's ruined
now. They touched me."

I looked out into the darkness beyond the gazebo helplessly, wondering if I was
too late, if the damage was already done. Alice had dreamt of the perfect prom
and the redhead had destroyed it in the worst way possible. Alice's dream of a
relationship built on love and faith had been shattered at her very own hand. I
had no idea what I could say to put the pieces back together, so I just told
her how I feel.

"I don't care, Alice," I told her. "Okay? Truly, I don't. I love you. I'd never
blame you for something like that."

She didn't look at me. "I let them," she said bluntly.

And that hurt, it did, but—

"It's okay," I whispered. "I know what they're like. You were vulnerable. It's
not your fault."

But she only turned away sullenly. "If you truly loved me you wouldn't forgive
me."

My mouth opened to continue soothing, but then I realized what she said.

She's upset that I'm willing to forgive her?

Obviously she was confused and distraught. The redhead had ambushed her, raided
her dreams and ransacked her hopes of everything she ever wanted or whished
for. And now her insecurities were bubbling up in any chaotic order. Soulmates
don't cheat, but more importantly; soulmates forgive. Soulmates love each other
– no matter what.

So I smiled comfortingly and hugged her around the shoulders playfully. "You're
not making sense, Alice," I said. "Of course I'd forgive you. I love you.
Nothing's going to change that."

Finally she turned to me. Her eyes were shining and her sad face was
majestically pretty in the yellow radiance of the twinkle-lights strung across
the gazebo. She was coming back to me.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

My smile kicked up a couple notches. "Of course, Alice," I assured her. "It's
destiny, remember? Nothing is ever going to come between us. I love you."

Her lip trembled and her eyes filled with tears. Then suddenly she blubbered
and threw herself at me. "Oh, Bella," she sobbed, hugging me around the neck.
"I love you too, baby."

"I know," I whispered. "I know."

I held her, patting her back. I was trying not to cry, trying to be strong for
some reason, but I couldn't stop the tears from leaking out my eyes. I bit my
lip, looking out across the dark schoolyard. The science building stood in the
distance, stamped pitch black against a dark gray sky. The music from the gym
had stopped and now a teacher I didn't recognize passed by on his rounds. He
saw us from the footpath, but he didn't come over.

"Prom's over ladies," he called, pointing at his watch, as if we could actually
see it from twenty feet away in the dark. "Time to be getting home."

Alice was still crying on my shoulder, but I nodded. The teacher went on,
disappearing around the side of the gym.

"Alice," I whispered, trying to pry her away gently. "Alice, did you hear that?
We have to go. Come on, let's get out of here."

Alice made no move to get up. She just wiped her face and looked at me. The
front of my white dress was stained dark from her tears.

"Are you sure you still love me?"

I leaned and kissed her. It was an impulse and I thought it would be the
perfect way to affirm that I truly did love her. But as our lips touched I
suddenly remembered that less than ten minutes ago these same lips had been
fastened to the redhead's tit, sucking at it like a greedy piglet. The thought
made my stomach curdle, but only slightly, and I managed to push the image away
and smile reassuringly.

"Of course I love you, Alice," I told her. "I always will, you know I will."

She smiled, brightly but restrained, as if scared to believe it. "Really and
truly?"

"Yes," I said, placing another kiss on her lips, again feeling a slight twinge
of disgust. But it didn't show, and I said: "You're everything to me."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

I went to kiss her again, but she put her hands on my chest to stop me. She
blinked at me insecurely.

"Absolutely everything?" she asked.

I smiled and nodded. "Absolutely everything."

She looked into my face searchingly, her hands still at my chest. Whatever she
was looking for she must've found it, because she smiled and dropped her hands.
"Okay."

I chuckled at her girlishness and placed another kiss on her lips. There was no
discomfort this time, and when I pulled back, I said: "So we can go?"

"Yeah," she said, with a nod. "We can go."

I felt a huge rush of relief. Finally; eternity with Alice. I stood up, my legs
weak from sudden excitement. Alice held out her hands and I tugged her to her
feet, pulling her into my arms and wrapping her into a kiss. Her arms settled
around my middle and she stood pressed against my front, face tilted up to
mine, letting me kiss her. I let my tongue pass between her lips and she opened
her mouth. I felt an insane urge to reach down and grope the shiny black satin
that covered her ass, but the impulse felt wrong or inappropriate, so I didn't.

Finally I broke the kiss and cupped her face. We stood together in the middle
of the gazebo, Alice in black, me in white, and we gazed into each others eyes,
bathed in a warm yellow light.

"I love you, Alice," I said. "I really—"

But suddenly Alice's pretty face was snatched away in darkness as the lights
went out. The lights around the gym went out at the same time. Prom was truly
over.

It was almost pitch black and all I could see of Alice was a vague silhouette.
I blushed at hoe my tender profession of love had been so rudely interrupted,
and Alice giggled softly.

"Well, gee," she said. "How romantic."

It was nice to hear levity return to Alice's voice. I took her hand.

"Come on," I said. "I guess it's time to go."

"Wait, wait," she said. "Finish what you were saying."

"You know what I was saying, Alice."

"I know, but I want to hear it. Please?"

I smiled at her in the dark. I knew she could see me clearly, but I could see
almost nothing, and I had to grope with my hands to find her in the dark.
Finally my hands landed on her shoulders and I smiled at the shadow of her
face.

"I love you, Alice."

"Oh, baby," she said. "I love you, too."

I felt her arms snake around my neck and then she was kissing me. I was still
anxious to get out of here, but I didn't rush her. After what she'd been
through I wanted her to be as reassured of my love as possible.

"Mmm," she moaned. "Baby?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you do something for me?"

"Of course."

"Go down on me," she whispered. "Please?"

At first I didn't think I'd heard properly. She couldn't possibly want it now,
not after what had happened, not here in the dark, at school. How could she
possibly want it right now? Her pussy was probably still wet with Rosalie's
saliva. And she wanted me to go down on it? I didn't understand, so I said:
"What do you mean?"

"Just quickly," she said. "Please? No one will see."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes," she hissed, tugging at my dress, as if to make me kneel. "I need it.
Please, baby? I need it so bad…"

The urgency in her voice took me by surprise, and even though it didn't quite
seem right, I let myself sink to my knees submissively. Alice was standing with
her feet apart, the fork of her legs like slim black pillars in the darkness.
She'd already hiked up her dress and shoved down her panties.

"Hurry," she whispered. "Quickly."

I found her pussy with my tongue and fought down a sense of queasiness as I
remembered what the blonde had been doing to it only moments before. Alice
hissed with pleasure. She was surprisingly wet. I closed my eyes, but the
picture of the blonde with her tongue shoved into my girlfriend's pussy
wouldn't leave my mind. It made me sick and turned me on at the same time, to
think my tongue was in contact with the residue of the blonde's saliva, that I
was licking it, licking it off of the soft and silky surface of my soulmate's
entrance.

And this was what my soulmate wanted.

I didn't fully understand what was happening, but my mind was hazing over in a
cloud of lavender loveliness, and if this was what Alice needed in order to
feel loved, then it's exactly what I'd give her. There was nothing I wouldn't
do for her. So I licked, and licked, and suckled at her clit, my own arousal
growing between my legs, and finally she shuddered and came, her hands clenched
in my hair.

"Thank you, baby," she gasped. "That was beautiful."

I rose in the dark, watching the silhouette of my girlfriend tug up her panties
– for the second time that night. It occurred to me meanly that there seemed to
be hardly any point in her wearing underwear at all, but I pushed the thought
away savagely, and glanced back toward the gym anxiously.

"Your welcome," I said. "Can we go now? I mean, what if…"

But I didn't want to mention the redhead's name out loud. I didn't think she'd
be back, but still, I'd feel much safer if we could just get out of here.

Alice's hands appeared at my waist, her touch tingling on my sensitive skin.

"But doesn't baby want a pussy licking, too?"

I pushed at her hands, trying to take one so I could lead her away. "That's
okay," I said. "I'll wait till we get to the hotel. Come on, let's—"

But she snatched her hand back. Shocked, I spun around. She stood there, a dark
shape in the darkness.

"You'll wait?" she said coldly. "You must not want me very bad."

I looked at her. I truly had no idea what to say. But the silence only lasted a
second before she rushed forward and threw herself at me in a hug and began
apologizing.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry," she said, almost crying. "I didn't mean to snap like
that. It's just… I'm so… Please, don't…"

I patted her back. "I know," I said, even though I didn't.

I heard her sniff in the dark. She stepped back and wiped her eyes. "I'm so
sorry, baby," she said in a small voice. "I don't know what's wrong with me.
I'm so fucked up. Please—let's just go to the hotel, okay? Let's just…"

My heart flushed with pity. I'd never understand how Alice's head worked, but
she was still Alice, and I still loved her more than anything. So I reached for
her hand—

But she snatched it away again.

"No," she said, her voice rising in hysteria. "No. No, we can't. We can't… We…"

Tears of panic sprang into my eyes. She was pacing back and forth in the
darkness under the gazebo, her arms moving in black silhouette as if she
couldn't decide if she wanted to rip her hair out.

"Alice, please," I said. "You're scaring me."

A wet and miserable giggle escaped her. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry, I'm
just… I'm worried that…"

"Worried what?"

Her voice came out stuttering and half broken. "Worried that, that… That you
don't want me anymore, or that… That you won't let me do…what I want to do—to
you—and, and…"

She was still pacing, struggling for words, but I hurried forward and pulled
her into a tight hug. She immediately started crying on my shoulder.

"That's ridiculous, Alice," I said firmly. "I love you. I'll always want you."

She snuffled and turned her nose to the crook of my neck. "I love you too,
baby," she whispered. "It's just…"

"Just what?"

Something flicked my neck. Something cold and wet. I thought it was her tongue,
but it could've been the wind.

"Nothing," she said. She sniffed and pushed away from me, wiping her eyes. "We
can talk about it at the hotel."

For a second I was wracked with indecision. Part of me felt that it would be
best to take advantage of her sudden stability and take her away to where we
could be safe by ourselves, but the other part of me knew that she wasn't fully
soothed, not even close, and that it was best to soothe her now – before it was
too late. So I swallowed, my throat filled with tears, and said:

"It's okay, we can talk about it now."

She sniffed again. I could just barely see the shapes of her dark knuckles
dabbing at her dark face. "Are you sure?" she whispered.

"Of course," I said. "What is it, baby?"

It was the first time I'd called her baby, and suddenly I realized that our
roles were completely flipped. It was supposed to be me who was weak, crying,
insecure. But somehow our roles were reversed and I'd become the strong one,
the constant one.

I felt a small flush of pride, but Alice didn't seem to notice, or if she did,
she didn't let it derail her train of thought.

"Well," she said. "it's just…"

"Just what?"

She went completely silent for a second. Then I heard her swallow with a dry
click. "I had an idea," she said thickly. "About something we could try.
Tonight. Instead of—before I turn you."

Her still form was watching me in the darkness. It was hard to believe her
anxiety was focused on whether or not I'd be willing to try some new sex
position, but I nodded encouragingly.

"It's something very special," she whispered. "Something that could be
absolutely amazing if we did it properly."

Her voice was soft and husky. As if something deeply repressed was finally
finding a voice. I couldn't imagine what could be so important to her, but it
didn't matter.

"Okay," I said simply. "Anything you want."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"But do you mean that, though?" she asked, stepping toward me cautiously, as if
afraid to frighten me away. "Do you really?"

I couldn't believe how silly she was being, and I giggled, closing the distance
to wrap her into a hug. Considering the sheer amount of love, trust, and lust
that had gotten us this far, it was ridiculous to believe there was anything I
wouldn't be willing to do with my Alice. So I smiled, tightening the hug, and
kissed her cheek.

"Of course I mean it," I said. "My body belongs to you, remember?"

"I know," she whispered, her voice so soft and throaty. "But this is about more
than your body. I'll need your heart, too. And your soul."

I shook my head, nuzzling her soft-smelling hair. Sometimes I wish she didn't
have to be so melodramatic, but I guess it was one of the things I loved about
her, my little soulmate.

"You've always had those, Alice," I told her. "And you always will, okay?"

Then I kissed her. She seemed to be soothed now, and I thought now was a good
time to urge her away from here, while she was excited about doing this thing
she wanted to do. So I pulled back gently and took her hand.

"Now, come on," I said, "let's get out of here. The sooner we get to the hotel,
the sooner we can do this thing you want to do."

She didn't budge. I turned back, still holding her hand, our arms like a black
rope in the darkness between us. Her voice came out curiously blank from her
blank face.

"Don't you want to know what it is?" she asked.

I felt like I had made a mistake by not showing enough interest, and attempted
to cover it up with a smile. "Wouldn't you like to surprise me?"

Her silhouette shook its head. "It can't be a surprise," she said. "I have to
have your consent."

The scene was starting to drag, and suddenly it felt awkward to just stand
there holding her hand. But I didn't let go, and I forced my voice to be
cheerful. "Of course you have my consent, Alice," I said. "You always had it.
But why are you so nervous? You know there's nothing I wouldn't do with you."
Then I playfully added: "Unless it's really gross."

I was worried she might've taken that the wrong way, but she seemed to have
calmed. "It's not gross," she said. "It'll be beautiful, I promise."

"Then why are you worried if I wouldn't want to do it?"

"Well," she said, and stepped up to me. Her head was bowed slightly and she
seemed to be speaking to my chest. She lifted a hand and traced a finger under
the globe of my breast, my whole chest tingling at the touch. "It's pretty
hardcore," she said.

I chuckled. "It can't be more hardcore than what we did a couple weeks ago," I
said, referring to the night where she'd bit me a dozen different times. "You
almost killed me, remember?"

"Yes," she whispered breathlessly, her hand stroking the fabric that covered my
breast. "That was amazing, wasn't it?"

I covered her hand with mine, enjoying the touch. "Totally," I assured her,
although in all honesty, it wasn't something I'd be eager to repeat too often.
Tonight would be okay, if she wanted, since tonight was special, but mostly I
was more of a simple girl.

Still caressing my breast, her other hand snaked behind my neck, caressing my
nape. "Did you really like it?" she asked.

"Of course."

"Good," she said, and her voice had gone husky again, so husky that I could
hardly hear her. "Because tonight I want to do something similar. Only this
time I want to keep going…and going…and going. Until you die."

She kissed me. Her lips closed on mine out of the darkness and the feeling that
washed over me was so cold. I didn't kiss back. My eyes were open and blinking,
but I could see nothing but the murky black shape of my girlfriend, leaning to
my mouth like some amorphous succubus surmised of darkness and feeding from my
lips. My whole body was numb. Her hand at my breast felt as flat as a bra or
any other piece of dumb apparel and her tongue when it slithered between my
lips felt like some alien appendage. I chuckled awkwardly and pushed her away.

"What do you mean?" I asked, as if wasn't clear, as if this was all—

"Well," she said. There was a hint of excitement in her voice, and her hand
left my breast to cup my cheek. "I've been thinking about it for a long time.
But now I'm sure. I love you so much, baby, and I know you love me. And I know
it's not normal love. It's real love. True love. It's the kind of love that no
amount of words or sex can express. A love like ours deserves something
stronger. Something grander. Something absolute. Something that can never be
changed or altered or cheated on. Do you see, baby? The only way to truly
express a love like ours…is death."

She concluded with a coy little shrug. Like a girl who'd been explaining that
maybe she was ready to go all the way. I saw her shoulders move in the
darkness. I couldn't see her face, but she was probably smiling. I was smiling
too, but it was a frozen smile, something that sat unnaturally on my face as my
lips tingled with the kiss of this woman who'd just revealed her fondest dream
of killing me.

The silence must've made her nervous. She went on.

"To be honest, I was scared to mention it," she said. "Because I didn't think
you'd understand. And because I thought maybe I was wrong. But now, I know you
understand. And I know I'm not wrong. From the very first second I saw you I
knew that this was what I wanted. And now that I'm saying it out loud, I know
it. This is what's right for us, baby. Don't you think?"

Alice's hands were at my waist, and her dark face was looking at me
expectantly. I swallowed a lump in my throat that felt like a boulder and
licked my lips. They were dry. "I don't know," I said, struggling for speech,
some last vestige of hope forcing me not to overreact. "You want to kill me?"

"No, no, no" she said quickly, "Not kill. Kill's an ugly word. I don't want to
kill you, baby, I want to love you. Completely. Absolutely. I mean, wouldn't it
romantic? What could be more perfect than dying in your lover's arms with your
blood on your lover's lips?"

I smiled aside, a smile as bleak and hopeless as the dark all around us. Two
tears dropped onto my cheeks. "I thought you were going to turn me," I
whispered.

"I was," she said. "But don't you think this is better?"

I shook my head, more tears falling. "Not really."

Her hands left my waist and she took a step back. When she spoke her voice came
out smaller, less sure.

"Why not?"

But I only kept shaking my head, suppressing a sob with all my might. Swinging
my head from side to side, eyes squeezed shut. Trying to shake away the
sadness, the hopelessness, the black despair of my entire pointless life.

"I know it seems a little radical, baby," she said. "But I wouldn't have said
it if I didn't think you could handle it. I know you love me, baby. And this is
your chance to prove it. Truly prove it, beyond question. Please. Let me have
you."

I opened my eyes, inhaling sharply. "Are you serious, Alice?" I demanded in a
sobbing voice. "I mean, this isn't some sick vampire joke, is it?"

Her dark face seemed to darken more. "This isn't sick, Bella," she said. Then
her voice softened and she approached with a dark hand out held. "And there's
no need to be afraid. I'm not asking you to do this alone. I'll die straight
after, I promise. I could never live without you. And then, after tonight, our
souls will truly be one."

I waved the hand away before it could touch me.

"You're crazy, Alice," I said. "Crazy at last."

This made her freeze. Her black face paused, and she must've decided it would
be most beneficial to pass off my quip as a joke, because she tilted her head
and giggled softly.

"If I'm crazy," she said, "it's only because I'm crazy about you."

Then suddenly her dark shape closed the distance and wrapped itself around me
in a kiss. I made a muffled moan and went limp, trying to just go with it, to
be as passive as I always was. But I couldn't. It just didn't feel right. So I
twisted aside and pushed her away.

"I can't do this," I said, my voice surprisingly strong.

"We have to, baby," she said. "It's the only way to truly consummate our
feelings. To preserve them at the peak of their being. After tonight, our love
will never fade or go away, and Vicky will never touch either of us again. This
is the only way, baby. The only way we can truly be happy."

I shook my head. If that was happiness, then I didn't want to be happy. I'd
rather be miserable for the rest of my life than die. Her hands were at my
waist again and I started to push them away.

"No," I said

Her hands didn't budge. "What do you mean, no?"

"Get away from me," I said, beginning to panic.

"Baby," she said, her hands clamped on my body like claws. "Baby, please—"

But I'd had enough and suddenly I screamed: "Get away!"

Alice stumbled back, startled. The exertion of screaming made me dizzy, and
suddenly I bent over, gasping for breath as if I were hyperventilating.

"Baby, are you—"

"Get back," I wheezed, leaning on my knees, struggling to get my breath under
control. "Just stay back."

She stood there watching me. She was just a black shape, but she seemed to be
sad. I heard a sniff and realized she was crying. "I thought you'd understand,"
she said in a broken voice. "I wanted to turn you, baby, I really did, but… But
I truly feel it'll be better like this. I've turned other girls before, and it
never lasts. Something always goes wrong. I don't want that to happen to us. I
want our love to be preserved for eternity. Don't you?"

I didn't answer. My breath wheezed in the ragged pipes of my throat and I
couldn't speak even if I wanted to.

"Please, baby?" she went on, her voice pleading. "There's no need to be afraid.
It'll be perfect, you'll see. You know I'd never do anything you don't want me
to. I'll start out slow and gentle. And slowly we'll start exploring your
limits. And finally, when it's time, you'll have the most perfect release you
could imagine. And all of it at my hand. The hand of your one true love.
Please, baby? Just—please?"

I lurched upright and stumbled backward. I bumped into the railing that ran
around the gazebo. The iron was cold even through the fabric of my dress. The
black shape of my girlfriend was approaching and she was talking softly from
her blank and black face.

"Bella? You said you belong to me, remember? Your body, your heart, your soul.
You said I could do anything. Don't you remember?"

I shook my head. "I can't."

"Yes, you can," she whispered. "I know you can."

"No."

Her hand descended on my cheek. I froze and it caressed me gently.

"Yes," she said. "You love me, baby, I know you do."

But suddenly I realized. "No," I said. "I don't."

Her hand froze. Then it dropped away.

I looked sadly at the black shape in front of me. Faceless, featureless. This
figment of lust that had crawled through my bedroom window one night and filled
my heart with a broken dream. I shook my head.

"Victoria was right," I said. "I'm not your soulmate. I'm just some slut who
latched onto the first girl who liked her."

"That's not true, baby."

"Yes," I said, sniffing away tears. "It is." Then a bleak chuckle escaped me
and I gestured wildly with my arms. "This is ridiculous," I blurted. "I always
thought Victoria was the psycho, but it's you, isn't it? You're the one's who
crazy. You were always crazy, I just didn't see it."

"I'm not crazy, baby," she pleaded. "Please. Just—"

She reached for my face again, but I smacked the hand away. A dull thud in the
darkness.

"Don't touch me," I said, sidling away from her.

Her voice was broken and full of regret. "Baby," she said. "Baby, please—"

"Shut up, Alice," I hissed. "Just shut the fuck up. I mean, what the fuck do
you think this is? I can't believe you'd do this to me. After everything you
put me through. After everything I was willing to do. It's not enough for you,
is it? And now you want me to let you kill me? I mean, are you out of your
fucking mind? Did you honestly think I'd do that? You stupid little psycho!
What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"Baby—"

She reached one more time, but I stumbled backwards in blind rage, almost
falling down the steps behind me and into the grass. I loathed her so much
right then that if she touched me I might've just kept screaming until my head
popped.

"No, fuck you, Alice," I said, walking backwards away from the gazebo where
Alice stood at the top of the steps, black and expressionless. "I'm not
listening to your shit anymore. You crazy fucking—" I staggered in the grass,
righted myself, and jabbed a finger in her direction. "From now on you stay the
fuck away from me. It's over. I never want to see you again."

"You don't mean that," she whispered.

I'd half turned away, but now I spun back like a schizoid, my mind flooded with
fury. "Yes, I do," I hissed. "I hate you. I can't believe I ever loved you in
the first place."

"Baby, please. Just—"

"No!" I screamed. "No more! If you ever come near me again, I'll kill you. I'll
sharpen a stake and stab it right through your fucked up little heart. You
creepy fucking bitch."

My voice broke into a sob and I wheeled away. I didn't look back. I stumbled
toward the gym and my eyes were so blurred with tears that I had to feel along
the brick wall with my hands to keep going.

I made it into the parking lot and kept walking. There was only a handful of
cars left. One of them was Jane's and in the back window there was a shoe
pressed up against the glass, as if someone was sprawled in the backseat with
their legs up. The shoe was pink with a diamante butterfly on the toe. I went
on.

Stumbling and choked with sobs I wheeled out the front gates and staggered down
the sidewalk in the direction of home. Soon I'd stopped crying and I only
sniffed occasionally. The wind had picked up again. I was hugging myself
against the cold and tottering along in my white gown like an escaped mental
patient, the fabric flapping about my legs, my hair blowing. Gazing with my
glazed eyes at the concrete underfoot were weeds grew in the cracks, stepping
to avoid them in my heels. A car passed from behind, the glare of the
headlights throwing a long shadow over the path in front of me. I went on,
wandering white and mindless through the night like a ghost escaped from some
nightmare where her lover yet lingered. Half way home I ripped the collar off
my throat and left it laying in the gutter.

When I finally got home I realized that I didn't have a key. I knocked on the
door and presented mom with my best attempt at a smile when she answered. I
just hoped she hadn't found the goodbye letter I'd left on my bed.

"Hi, sweetie," she said, and looked over the dark garden behind me. "How come
you don't have your key? Where's Alice?"

I pushed past her and into the hallway. She closed the door and turned to me.

"I left without her," I said.

Mom's face went concerned.

"Oh," she said. "Why?"

I shrugged, as if it didn't really matter. "I don't know," I said sullenly. "We
had a fight. I don't think she'll be home tonight."

"Was it serious?"

I didn't want to think about the question, so I just shook my head, shrugging
again. "Nah, it's no big deal," I said. "Just, you know."

Mom looked at me. I didn't know what I looked like, but my throat felt closed
up, and my eyes were burning, and I felt sick and shivery all over.

"Are you okay, sweetie?"

I gestured with my hand, as if I was about to explain something. Then I let it
drop. "Yeah, I'm fine," I said. "Just tired."

Mom nodded, and because she knew I wasn't alright at all, she came forward and
gave me a hug. I hugged her back loosely and felt my chest tighten. Good old
mom. Mom never wanted to kill me.

Finally she released me, and despite all the problems we'd been having
recently, she actually smiled, a smile that was supposed to make me feel better
about whatever was bothering me. "Well, I'm sorry you didn't have fun," she
said. "I guess there's always senior prom, huh?

I snorted and turned away toward the stairs. "It's alright," I said. "I didn't
even wanna go to prom, anyway."

My room was the same as I'd left it. I was never supposed to be back, but it
had only been a couple hours. The first thing I did was lock the window and
draw the curtains. Then I kicked off my shoes and turned to the bed.

The goodbye letter I'd written for mom was laying on the pillow, untouched. I
stared at it for a while, then I picked it up, unfolded it, and started
reading. My bottom lip was already trembling as I remembered how hard it was to
write, the guilt and regret of leaving mom warring with the love and need I
felt for Alice. A sheen of tears covered my eyes and I kept reading.

Dear Mom,

I'm sorry. By the time you read this, I'll be gone. Alice and I are leaving
Forks.

I know you won't understand, but I can't explain. Alice is my soulmate. I can't
leave her. I told you before that this isn't a highschool thing between us.
It's for real. It's forever. I want to be with her for the rest of my life.

Please don't think that I don't love you or that I don't appreciate you. I do.
I love you. You're the best mom I could ever imagine having. But I can't let
Alice go.

It's like a marriage vow. "For better or worse, forsaking all others, till
death do us part." That's how much I love her. I know that maybe sometimes
she's been a bad influence on me, but that's only because she loves me so much.
We've had some problems, but we fixed them, and now our relationship is
stronger because of it. We love each other and we have to be together. There's
no other way for us.

I'm sorry. Please don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I'm going to be happy
with Alice. We're going to be together forever. I'm sorry to leave you all
alone, but I just love her too much. I hope I see you again someday. Please
don't be mad.

Love Bella.

By the time I was finished I felt so cold it seemed I would never be warm
again. I blinked down at these words I'd written, tears dripping onto the paper
as if it was starting to rain. Together forever. Soulmates. My eyes glazed and
the false destiny inked out upon the page before me began to swim away.

I screwed up the paper in my fist. My eyes and nose were leaking freely and I
was so light headed it felt like I was going to fall down. The balled letter
dropped out of my hand and bounced under the bed, as if trying to hide. My head
spun. I turned around, staggered, leaned on the desk. Hot anguish was gathering
in my chest like a torrential storm and my breath started to whoop. I tried to
hold it back, but it was no use. I couldn't breathe. I tried to exhale, but a
sob came out. Then a groan. A low whine began in my chest that slowly grew in
volume until finally I was wailing aloud, sinking to my knees in the carpet and
howling in abject agony.

Mom footsteps thudded up the stairs and she came barreling into my room.

"Bella!" she cried. "Bella, what—"

But she broke off suddenly at the sight of her daughter crumpled and bawling in
the floor, and she quickly hurried over and gathered me into her arms and
started rocking me and whispering about how everything was going to be okay. I
clutched at her, buried my face in her neck, and I cried and cried and cried
until I thought I die from it.

—

***** Chapter 23 *****
—

Chapter 23:

—

By morning it had began to seem that maybe I'd overreacted a little. I had
managed to weep myself into an hour or two of fitful sleep, and while it
would've been nice to never wake up again, it seemed that a good portion of my
anguish had settled overnight into a mingled medley of shame and regret with a
bit of embarrassment around the edges. I'd cried in front of mom—which wasn't
something I was proud of—and it occurred to me that I'd probably handled Alice
a little poorly, too. It had been a disturbing shock to learn that my
girlfriend felt the next step in our relationship was sexualized murder-
suicide, but maybe a simple no would've sufficed. Spazing out and screaming at
her probably wasn't the best way to achieve a compromise where we could live
happily after and actually, you know; live.

Because I still did want her. I was mad and pissed and incredibly depressed –
but I still loved her.

It didn't come to me in a epiphany or a tear-soaked revelation as I wept away
my tattered heart. It was simply a fact about me. I have dark hair, my tits are
large, I love Alice. A fact among other facts, something that was part of me
and would never change, not even with a bottle of peroxide and cosmetic
surgery. Because my love for Alice didn't exist on the surface, it existed in
the darkest and deepest corners of my heart, in a place so insulated against
the weathers of the world that not even this monstrous betrayal could dislodge
it.

I loved her.

I realized it as I realized how difficult it was to lay in a bed without her
and how awful it was to wake up without her there to kiss me, cuddle me, and
hustle me into the shower. It had been a terrible betrayal—the worst one
yet—but it wasn't the first and it probably wouldn't be the last. Alice had
been deceiving me ever since we first laid eyes on each other, but it had
always been because she loved me, and now more than ever it was clear that the
one thing she'd never lied about was how much she did indeed love and want me.
Her passion was dark and certainly very twisted, but she was at a vulnerable
place in her life right now, and I was sure that all she needed was a little
tenderness and understanding to fix her up.

And what had she gotten instead? A screeching pterodactyl that had swooped upon
the innermost fantasy of her heart and tore it to pieces in a self-righteous
rage of betrayal.

The thought made me cringe even while I wept into my wet pillow. Emotional
outbursts weren't consistent with my self-image as a calm and mature young
woman, and I hated myself almost as much as I hated Alice. We'd both fucked up.
Her fuck up was way worse than mine—which was some consolation—but overall we
both seemed to be pretty crappy soulmates.

A chary gray light was accruing in the window curtain and soon I'd have to get
up and face another day on this dumb and shitty earth. This cold and crappy
rock that rolled through the universe without any concern at all that I
might've permanently damaged my relationship last night. I hated to feel sorry
for her after such a sick expression of murderous lust, but let's be honest
here; the chick's a vampire. I knew it, she knew it. She's not psycho, she's
just a girl who happens to be cursed with an unholy craving for blood.
Naturally, her sense of romance is slightly twisted. It wasn't her fault I
couldn't handle it.

I had no desire to die, of course, but I seriously doubted she wanted me too,
either. Her perfect prom had been ruined and in her despondency she'd decided
that we might as well do a Shakespeare and get it over with. I'm sure it made a
great deal of sense to her at the time, but if I hadn't overreacted, if I'd
just taken the time to talk her down and explain that an eternity of hot sex
was actually way better than dying, then maybe I'd be a vampire by now. Waking
up in a hotel room in Seattle somewhere, blinking up at Alice, my Alice, my
Alice for all eternity, as she bends to kiss my vampire lips and—

But wait. Because last night wasn't a spontaneous itch for tragedy, was it? No,
she'd said she'd been thinking about it for a long time. She said that she knew
what she wanted to do ever since she first saw me, and now…it felt right.

Suddenly I felt sick. Any love or pity I'd felt was washed away in a dizzy wave
of nausea. What the hell had I been sticking my tongue into all this time? A
woman who wanted to kill me? What kind of whacked-out bitch could possibly…

But I didn't want to think about it anymore. It was too much, too complicated,
too early in the day. I was tired and exhausted and all I wanted was for time
to go as fast as possible so that all this would become nothing but a memory
that Alice and I would one day look back on and laugh at how young and stupid
we were. Because I had no doubt that we'd get back together. I couldn't imagine
life without Alice, and if last night proved anything, it certainly proved that
she couldn't live without me either—in fact, she didn't plan to. Rather than
risk any more complications in our already complicated relationship, her
solution was to give me a romantic send off into the blank bliss of death
before following along in whatever manner appealed to her sensibilities as a
tragic lover. Very elegant, almost beautiful—aside from one little problem, of
course. Like, oh say, the fact that we'd be dead. Speaking for myself, death
wasn't a state I was eager to enter into. Marriage was fine, and even vampirism
sounded like fun, but death? Fuck that. If I had to choose between Alice and
Life, I'd…

I'd what?

I didn't know, but that was another thing I didn't want to think about, so I
finally threw off the covers and staggered weak and red-eyed into the bathroom.
I showered, swaying sleepily under the water. I felt the urge to just slit my
wrists and let it all wash away, but that seemed a bit redundant considering
I'd recently denied my girlfriend the same pleasure. It was sad. I'd chose to
live, and now I was stuck with it. Talk about fate worse than death.

I just hoped Alice wouldn't do anything rash. She'd been triple-crushed last
night, first by her mistress and wife, and then by me, her soulmate. And even
before the trifecta of betrayals she hadn't been the most stable young woman.
The last time we'd had a tiff she ran directly back to the redhead and almost
allowed her mistress to put her out of her misery like an injured dog.

But she wouldn't do that again, would she? God, I hoped not. She knew that I
didn't mean all those things I said, didn't she? Well, I meant some of them,
but I certainly wasn't serious when I said I'd stake her if she ever came near
me again. That had been sheer teen bravado, a young girl getting carried away
in the heat of hysteria. Alice knew that, didn't she?

Maybe I should call her. And say what? Hey, Alice, sorry about not letting you
kill me last night. I just wasn't ready, you know?

No, that's ridiculous. This was a serious issue and I had to take it seriously.
Alice had fucked up big time. Maybe I'd overreacted just a little, but I was
perfectly justified. I mean, the woman wanted to kill me, for god's sake. I'd
resisted her mother, rejected Lauren, and saved her from the redhead, and in
return she wanted to reward me with a nice romantic death. Well, that was wrong
of her. Therefore the next step was up to her. If she truly loved me like she
claimed, she'd apologize. She'd admit that she was wrong, beg for forgiveness,
and promise never to—

Oh, what the fuck am I thinking? This is Alice. Alice isn't normal. Alice
doesn't think normally and she sure as shit doesn't act normally. What was she
most likely to do?

I had no idea. The scope of her reaction could include every extreme of
romantic absurdity. She could go back to her ex, start stalking me again, hop a
plane to Paris, violently murder me in my sleep some night, or she could even
pick me up for school on Monday morning with a cheerful smile and a fragile
pretense that nothing is wrong at all. I just didn't know.

And me? What was the scope of my reaction? I wasn't sure, but I could add a
budding sense of panic to the list. Why hadn't Alice come home last night?
Where had she gone? She should've come back. She should've ran after me that
very night and apologized. How could she let me leave after all those things I
said to her? What if… what if…

The feeling of wrongness slowly grew inside me until I realized that this
stupidness had gone on long enough. It had only been a matter of hours since
the fight, but when you're as addicted to a girl as I am to Alice, a few hours
was a few too long. There was no point getting all pissy about it. Alice and I
were soulmates; that was never going to change, and it pretending to be angry
at her was just stupid and unnecessary theatrics. The quicker we got over this,
the quicker we could get on with our real happily ever after, the one that
didn't involve double death in a hotel suite somewhere.

So I got out the shower and dried off quickly and then I hurried back to my
room with the towel wrapped around my body. It was the first I hadn't had sex
in the shower for a long time, and this was another reason to be angry with
Alice. But in the interest of a swift reconciliation, I pushed the thought away
and began looking for my cellphone. It wasn't on my desk and I realized that I
must've left it in Alice's car; along with my purse with also contained my
keys, my vibrator, and a spare pair of kinky panties that Alice liked.

Okay; no cell phone. I got changed and tried to think rationally, but by now my
head was bubbling with all the horrible things that could prevent us from
getting back together. I'd never been the kind of girl to fall to pieces over
losing her cellphone, but the stakes were very high this morning and I really
needed to speak to Alice, to let her know at least that I was willing to
forgive her and continue fucking her—as long as she didn't eat me alive
afterward like a praying mantis.

I turned on my computer and jiggled impatiently while the slow-ass motherfucker
booted up, and then I checked my e-mail. Email wasn't our preferred method of
interaction, of course, but lacking a phone it would've been the next logical
way to contact me. But nothing, nothing from Alice at all. Just a couple pieces
of junk and some spam that offered to enlarge my penis. Mom had borrowed my
email for a while before she'd learnt how to create her own, and for a second I
wondered what the hell kind of sites she'd signed up on, but it wasn't
important right then. My relationship was in jeopardy and I had to contact my
girlfriend. But how do I do that without a cellphone?

Then it hit me: home phone.

It should've occurred to me before email, but I was starting to feel a little
flustered, and my mind wasn't really working right. A hollow feeling had began
to open in my stomach as the possibility of permanently ruining my relationship
grew in my mind. I was already half way down the stairs and I truly did not
know what I'd do without Alice's touch, Alice's voice, Alice's—

Venom?

But I shook that thought away and grabbed up the phone on the wall in the
kitchen. I punched in Alice's cell number and started biting a fingernail while
it rang. But what was I going to say? I didn't know, but anything would be
better than nothing. God, what a stupid thing to argue over. Why the hell had I
freaked out so bad for, anyway? It's not like I'm not half suicidal already.
Was it really—

The phone answered. My heart leapt, half in terror, half in relief, and—

"Hi, this is Alice," said the prerecorded message. "I can't come to the phone
right now, so—"

I slammed the phone into the cradle. Unbelievable. After everything she did,
after the enormous betrayal of ruining my prom night by trying to kill me, she
didn't even have the decency to pick up.

But what if she can't pick up? What if she's tied up somewhere with the redhead
and—

I grabbed the receiver and called again. Alice's message played, it beeped, and
then—

I stood frozen with my mouth open. What the fuck was I supposed to say?

"Hey, Alice," I said, and my voice came out so pleasant and normal it seemed
disturbing. "You never came home last night. I was worried." I paused.
Breathed. Swallowed. "Um, so call me, okay? I was… Just, um…" My eyelids
fluttered, tears sprinkled to the floor – but my voice continued to be
completely casual. "I love you, okay? So, listen. Um… Call me when you get
this. Just…"

I hung up. I blinked some more and wiped my eyes with my palms. God, this was
so stupid. How could I do this to her? She would've understood if I'd explained
it to her, if I'd just—

"Bella?"

Mom's voice. She had just come in the kitchen, clad in slippers and nightrobe,
hair disheveled. Her eyes were red and she looked like she had slept much or at
all.

I felt a stab of guilt, and I truly didn't want to hurt her anymore, so I
forced my mouth into a smile and pretended that I hadn't been crying.

"Oh," I said, resisting the urge to sniff loudly. "Hi, mom."

Mom looked at me sadly. I was standing by the phone and it was probably pretty
obvious who I'd been calling. She came over and wrapped me into a hug,
presumably to make me feel better. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

I returned the hug, but I stiffened uncomfortably. Why did she even bother
asking? Of course I wasn't alright, but obviously I was trying to pretend I
was. Why make me say it out loud?

"Yeah," I said, patting her back. "I'm fine, why?"

She released me and looked into my face. "You were very upset last night," she
said, as if maybe I'd forgotten.

But of course I hadn't. Last night was still very fresh in my mind, only this
morning it was tempered by the knowledge that I couldn't live without her and I
needed her back. So I shrugged it off and quickly computed a response that
would hopefully make the subject go away. "Well, it was prom," I said. "I just,
you know. And Alice…"

I trailed off. Saying her name out loud almost caused me to break down again,
but I held it back.

Mom was shaking her head. "Even after everything she's put you through, I'm
surprised at her," she said. "She seemed like she really wanted it to be
perfect for you."

The bitter irony of that made my heart clench. Alice had tried, she really had.
She wanted it to be perfect – absolutely perfect. Her methods were twisted, but
her sentiment was sweet, and before I realized it, I was defending her. "She
did, mom," I said. "It was my fault. I should've…"

But mom looked at me fiercely. "You can't keep blaming yourself for everything
that girl does," she said. "You're a good girl, Bella. It hurts me so much to
see you like this."

Suddenly I realized there was no point talking about this with mom. She'd never
understand, could not possibly understand. So I just shook my head. "I'm fine,
mom," I said. "Look, can we not talk about it? It's nothing, really."

"It wasn't nothing Bella," she said. "Do you have any idea—"

"Mom, please," I interrupted softly. I shook my head and looked at the floor.
"Just…"

She watched me for a minute and then she wrapped me into another hug. "Okay,
sweetie," she said. "But promise me you'll talk to me if you need to, okay?"

"I promise," I said, and as usual, I didn't really mean it.

It was Sunday morning, so there was no school. Mom badgered me about breakfast,
trying to get me to let her make blueberry pancakes, as if she thought that
might cheer me up a little. But my appetite was mostly gone these days and
pancakes—even mom's pancakes—seemed about as desirable as sawdust and syrup.

But I didn't want mom to worry about me anymore than she was already, so I
worked through a bowl of cereal with grim determination, my stomach churning as
I spooned up the cold milk, cold corn flakes, wondering what the hell I was
supposed to do now. Last night was supposed to be the answer to all our
problems, and instead we'd only created more. Not only were we still in Forks,
but we now had an ultimatum from the redhead; give up some ass or else. And
while it was certainly a unique predicament to be hounded by a beautiful woman
for sex, it still wasn't the best step for me and Alice. Then again, Alice and
I seemed to disagree on what our next step should be, didn't we? I was ready to
settle into a life of beautiful debauchery that would hopefully never end; she
was ready to kill me and off herself afterwards.

Hence our current relationship status of quasi-broken up. But that wasn't good
enough, not with a girl like Alice. This was not a girl prone to rational and
well thought out behavior; this was a girl who liked to dangle her girlfriend
in front of her ex at dinner parties, who liked to flee the continent when
things got tough and return only when her partner falls into a near fatal coma,
who wanted to go to prom when the whole school hates her and several of her
sisters are frothing at the mouth for her pussy. None of her decisions had
worked out well for anyone involved so far, and however she decided to handle
last nights tiff, it was probably not going to be in a smart and mature manner.

Therefore it was up to me to make things better – before thing got worse.

I called her again after breakfast and then I tried her house phone. I got
messages on both. I didn't know Leah's number by heart, but I tried Jane's;
nothing.

Well. Things were getting worse already.

But maybe I was overreacting. After all, it was a big fight. Maybe Alice needed
a little time to herself, to calm down, to realize what she did wrong. Time to
lick her wounds, and lick the redhead's—

But no, it was wrong to assume that. Just because Alice wasn't answering,
didn't mean she'd gone back to the redhead.

Did it?

The phone was cordless and by noon I had it sitting in my lap like a pet as I
stared at the TV, not watching, waiting for it to ring. Then I realized that
maybe she didn't know I'd lost my cellphone, so I called again and let her know
to call me at home, my voice still disturbingly casual. But after a while I
realized that I'd forgotten to mention why she had to call me at home, so I
called again and told her voicemail that I'd lost my cellphone, and then in
another ten minutes I called again and asked if she could keep an eye out for
it; I might've left it in her car and she might've missed it. This was enough
for half an hour and then I called one more time and said that if she found my
phone she might as well bring it over, the pleasantness of my voice promising
that I wasn't mad and that everything would be okay if only she'd call or come
over.

But she didn't. I waited all afternoon and the longer she maintained radio
silence, the more worried I became – and angry. Mom made dinner by herself and
it was the first time in over month we'd eaten without Alice. I sat down with
tears of rage speckling my vision and I couldn't eat a bite. Mom asked if I'd
heard back from Alice yet, but I shook my head; I might've cried if I tried to
talk.

How could she do this to me? It was understandable not to come home last night,
but it was pure evil to avoid me all of today when I was trying so hard to get
in touch with her. Was this punishment for refusing to die? That's not fair.
She was the one who fucked up. I was the one who was hurt, the one who had a
right to be angry. She had no right to treat me like this.

After dinner I again found myself on the couch with the phone in my lap, but
still, no call. I had bitten all my nails and soon mom asked me if I was cold.
My teeth were chattering and she could hear it from across the room. I told her
I was fine, but I was not fine. It had been almost twenty-four hours since I'd
seen Alice. Since I'd touched her, held her, made love to her. I was feverish
and my face felt hot under my hand. The last couple weeks it had been a
struggle to go even a couple hours without her. I was addicted, figurative and
literally. If I didn't see her soon—

"Are you sure you're okay, sweetie?" mom asked. "You look…"

"I'm fine, mom," I said, smiling through clenched teeth to keep them from
chattering. Suddenly it occurred to me that Alice could be waiting outside my
window this very minute and even more suddenly I stood up. "Listen," I said,
already backing away toward the stairs. "I'm gonna get to bed. Is it okay I
take the phone? Just in case?"

"Well…"

"Thanks mom," I said, and then quickly dashed over and kissed the top of her
head. "See you in the morning."

I hurried upstairs and paused outside my room, hand on the door knob. Somehow I
was absolutely positive that she was going to be there, waiting, naked on my
bed to surprise me with an apologetic fuck, a single red rose in her hand
perhaps. It was typical Alice, vintage Alice, exactly Alice. It was her style.
Sex was her solution to everything, and creepy sex when it was least
appropriate was her home run swing.

I could see it so clearly it seemed inevitable that when I opened the door it
would reveal Alice, and yet I hesitated, because I knew, I knew that—

I pushed open the door. Nothing. My bed was rumpled, unmade. The window closed.
No sign of anyone having been here but me. No scent of Alice – just a lingering
hint of lavender from yesterday.

The disappointment was crushing. I'd been so sure, and yet…

I opened the window half way and stuck my head out. My teeth were rattling in
my mouth and the wind tossed my hair, making me shiver. But there was no Alice.
No Alice in the yard, no Alice on the swing set. No Alice anywhere.

I curled up in bed with the phone cuddled at my chest like a teddy bear,
staring at the window, watching the drapes move in the night breeze, trying to
figure out what Alice could possibly be thinking, feeling. But I truly had no
idea. No matter how close we became, no matter how intimate, she would always
remain a pretty enigma. She couldn't possibly be mad at me, could she? No, no,
that was just ridiculous. She had no right to be mad at me, even she would have
to see that. It was more likely she was hurt. Hurt by my rejection, and…

And what? What would she do if she was hurt? Well, if history was any guide,
she'd whip out the handcuffs and run back to the redhead. But things had
changed between them lately, and between us. Alice loved me far more now than
she did then, and it wasn't a guarantee she'd go back to the redhead. Maybe she
just wasn't ready to talk yet. Maybe she realized she made a mistake and she
wasn't ready to face me. Maybe she'd left her car and her cellphone and simply
set off, wandering the streets like a lost puppy, and soon she'll wander back,
as soon as—

But how come there was no answer at her house? And how come Jane never
answered, either?

I didn't know, but the bad feeling in my stomach felt like I'd been bodypunched
by a heavyweight. I was tempted to run downstairs and grab mom's keys and just
drive over. But that would alarm mom, and I didn't want to believe something
had gone wrong that badly, not yet. Alice would call eventually. Maybe it would
take a couple days. Or maybe just a couple minutes. Maybe—

I burst into tears. I didn't know I was going to do it, and I was ashamed, even
though no one could see. I was ashamed of myself. How could I be so pathetic?
This was a woman who wanted to kill me. Who'd lied to me every single step of
our relationship. And I… And I…

I love her.

That was the truth. I loved her and I would always love her. I fell in love
with her from the first second I saw her and that had never gone away. Even
now. Especially now. Because deep in my heart I knew that she was hurt and
alone and that she needed me now more than ever, and all she had to do was
call, just call and everything would be okay.

But she didn't call, and so I buried my face into the pillow to muffle the sobs
and I cried and finally I cried myself to sleep.

Monday morning. I woke with a headache and a sense of dizzy disorientation, as
if I was falling. My hand snatched out to grab something—Alice—but then my eyes
snapped open and I was in bed. Alice hadn't come back. I checked messages and
checked my email; nothing. My mouth was bone-dry and when I looked into the
bathroom mirror my lips were pale. How long since I'd kissed Alice? I wasn't
sure, but when I thought about her lips, about the sweetness of her kiss, about
her beautiful saliva, my headache got worse and my mouth even drier.

I drank three cups of water at the kitchen sink but the dryness didn't go away.
I took some aspirin but the headache didn't go away either. I was distracted
and fidgety all morning, and soon mom was suggesting that maybe I shouldn't go
to school. Considering my recent absences, I must've looked pretty bad. But I
had to go to school. Alice might be there, and even if she wasn't the other
Cullen's will be, and I had to know where Alice was and what she was doing. I
just hoped she hadn't gone back to the redhead. I just hoped—

Mom gave me a ride to school, not wanting me to walk. My eyes were red and
burning and I wandered through the corridors with dread seeping through my
stomach. There had been no Volvo in the parking lot, no Mazda, no red
convertible, no motorbike. I was used to going through homeroom with no Alice,
but usually we'd make out at my locker for a bit, which would be enough to hold
me over till our next class. This was different. I hadn't kissed Alice in two
days, which was manageable back before we'd moved in together, but at this
point in our relationship it was a torment. My head felt like it was pounding
and it was painful to swallow. I was drawing glances, but I realized it was
probably to do with prom, about me making out with Rosalie, about me and Alice
fucking in the bathroom, grinding all over the dancefloor. I didn't care. Alice
and I were going to get back together, and she was going to turned me into a
vampire, and—

There was no Mrs Cullen in English and at lunch in the cafeteria the Cullen
table was empty. My sense of dread grew and after waiting till the bell rang in
case they were late, I got up and left, walking straight out of school and
directly home.

The first thing I did was check for messages. The second thing I did was take a
couple more aspirin. I sat at the kitchen table with the phone in front of me
and tried to think. No Cullens. None at all. I started crying when I remembered
how they been talking about leaving Forks soon. What if soon meant right now?
What if Alice had gone back to them, devastated, brokenhearted, and convinced
them all to just leave? Was that possible? Could Alice be that hurt? That
angry?

No. No, she wouldn't leave me. Not like this. There had to be some other
reason. Maybe they were just sick of school. Maybe they were still in town, but
there was no point going to school anymore. And Alice…

Where was Alice? She wasn't here. She wasn't at school. She should be here.
With me. How could she do this to me? It wasn't fair. I loved her so much and
she wanted to kill me? And now I couldn't even get her on the phone. Life can
be so fucked up sometimes.

I called her cell and called her house. I called Jane. No answers. I hung up
and moaned miserably. This wasn't fair. This wasn't—

I went up to my room and started going through Alice's things. Her clothes and
accessories. Her iPod. I put an earbud in my ear and sat on the floor with her
clothes scattered on the carpet, crying at almost every song, songs that sang
about love and never giving up on love and about how beautiful love was. I had
one of Alice's tops in my lap. It was pink and flimsy, a small little top for
her small little torso. It still smelled faintly of her, and I lifted it to my
nose and inhaled and wiped my eyes with it.

I went though Alice's notebooks, flipping through pages and pages of doodled
love hearts with my name in them, lovehearts with arrows through them or little
angel wings or devil horns, inscribed with initials and dates. In her art book
there were sketches of me, my face, my eyes, my naked body. The back of her
Biology notebook contained the transcripts of notes we'd passed back and forth,
telling each other how much we loved each other and what we were going to do to
each other to prove that love. She had never mentioned death once.

My head was splitting and my mind was in fractures, but I couldn't help
thinking about it, and the more I thought about it, the more I could understand
how perfect and desirable it must've seemed in her warped little mind. After so
many centuries of heartbreak and failure, and facing so much pressure from her
family and pressure from me, it must've made perfect sense to end it all on her
terms, to twist the inevitable death and separation into something beautiful
and meaningful. But she didn't have to do that with me, because I loved her
more than that, more than anyone she'd ever known, and she'd be happy with me
if only she come back.

I picked up a pair of her panties and became insanely horny. They were leopard-
print bikini briefs and the memory of her in them caused a bolt of lust to
strike directly between my legs. I ransacked her underwear drawer for her own
personal vibrator and, remembering how many times it been stuffed into Alice's
pussy, I started licking and sucking it with my dry and hungry mouth, and
finally I struggled out of my jeans and stuck it inside me, whimpering as Alice
came to me in my head, naked and smiling and opening her legs for me to kneel
between, whimpering and hissing her name into the carpet as I came, Alice,
Alice, Alice.

The next day was Tuesday. I went to school again, but no Alice, no Cullens. I
went home and called, but by now the numbers were disconnected.

Three days since I'd seen Alice, then four. My withdrawals got worse. I
shivered myself to sleep and had bad dreams. I sat at the breakfast table,
hugging myself, rocking, blinking into my cereal. Unable to eat, to think. My
throat was burning and it was all I could do to pretend to be okay for mom. She
wasn't satisfied, and she demanded I stay home and rest and if I wasn't better
by the time she got home she was taking me to the doctor. I told her I would,
and after she was gone I started walking to school. But before I was even half
way there I'd changed my mind and set off in the direction of the Cullen house.

It was a long walk out to their house in the middle of nowhere, slumping along
in my boots, shivering in the wind, my jaw chattering loud enough to make my
headache even worse. The road wound through a forest of evergreens.
Occasionally a truck would pass. Dead leaves scuttled in the wind and scuttled
back. The road was wet from rain last night and when I looked up I saw the
house in the distance; a modest mansion on a rise above the road.

Already my heart was failing. The curtains were drawn in every window and there
were no cars in the driveway. An envelope was sticking out of the mailbox.
Several newspapers sat untouched on the porch. I jogged up to the front door,
staggering in clumsy fatigue. I knocked. Nothing. I knocked again, waiting. I
pressed the doorbell, a soft whimper escaping me as I leaned an ear to the oak
paneled door, straining to hear anything, anything at all beside the wind and
the bell chimes.

But there was nothing. For a long time I stood there helplessly, rocking on the
spot, hugging myself from cold. Then I balled my fist and lambasted the door
about five times.

"Alice!" I screamed. "Alice, are you—!"

I choked off into a sob and then I staggered off the porch and stumbled around
the side of the house. I found the screendoor and banged on the glass,
screaming for Alice. The family cat, Fang, sat on the kitchen counter, watching
me. Nothing else in sight. I grabbed the door handle as if I would tear it
open. I grunted and strained. The cat flicked it's tail, watching me with total
unconcern. Finally I fell back and cast about wildly for something to throw. I
picked up a heavy clay pot plant and threw it with all my strength at the
screendoor. The glass shattered and the cat leapt off the counter and scrabbled
away across the linoleum.

My breath shuddered through my clicking teeth. I stepped into the kitchen,
boots crunching in the broken glass. I called out timidly:

"Alice?"

No answer. Nothing. I whimpered quietly and went on through the house.

It seemed abandoned. No lights were on and it was dark. The cream-colored
furniture gray and featureless. The plasma TV, dead and black. I went up the
stairs, blinking rapidly, trying not to stumble. But the steps seemed wonky and
the house seemed to be swaying. I gripped the balustrade and emerged into the
upstairs corridor.

Alice's door was at the end and the whole hall seemed to recede before me as I
struggled toward it with feet that felt like shovels. I reached for the door
knob, swaying, certain that Alice would be here, that Alice would be—

I opened the door. Nothing. Bed. Closet. I swung my head from side to side,
straining for focus. No Alice.

Several of the dresser drawers were open and clothes were missing. Then I
looked up and saw.

The collage on the wall that had been composed of hand drawn pictures of me was
gone. Every picture pulled down and torn up and scattered over the carpet like
snow.

I reeled across the room and sat on the bed. I tried to swallow, but I
couldn't. My throat felt closed. I stared at the ripped up portraits on the
floor, a feeling of alien desolation sweeping slowly over me and making me
sweat. Alice hated me. I'd let her down. My vision was blurry and my head was
twitching on my neck. Alice's mural of me lay torn up and shredded at my feet
and I stared at the remains as if I couldn't quite figure out what it meant.
But even as my brains baked in my head it was pretty obvious.

Alice was gone.

And she wasn't coming back.

—

***** Chapter 24 *****
—

Chapter 24:

—

Somehow I'd managed to get home. I'd fallen asleep on Alice's bed and woke up
as the sun was going down. The family cat was sitting on the dresser, watching
me. It looked like it hadn't been fed in days. Abandoned like me. I found a
carry-cage in the laundry, the kind you use to cart troublesome pets to the
vet, and I managed to coerce the cat inside it. Then I bought it home with me,
cooing to it drunkenly as I staggered home in the dark and the wind.

It wasn't pleased with my kindness. It hissed and tried to claw me no matter
how nice I was to it. Mom wasn't happy either, with the cat or the late hour,
but she soon had other things to worry about. I wasn't doing so good. The
devastation of losing Alice, permanently and forever, had left me vague and
distracted, staring about as if not sure what I was doing here. I had a fever
and I was swaying on my feet. Mom rushed forward to feel my forehead and her
hand almost knocked me over. I told her I was okay, but she didn't believe me.

I slept and woke and slept again. I had dreams all night. Mom woke me in the
morning and in trying to get out of bed I fell on the floor. My hair was soaked
with sweat and I kept telling her I was okay, but she still didn't believe me.
She took me to the doctor where I sat tottering in my chair in the waiting
room, mom's arm around my shoulders. The doctor examined me and took some
blood. I panicked and tried to swat the syringe away. My blood belonged to
Alice, no one else. But mom calmed me down and soon she took me home.
Apparently my symptoms were consistent with the stress of some kind of extreme
emotional trauma. There was nothing wrong with me physically. They analyzed my
blood and they didn't seem to find any trace of vampire venom.

There was only a couple more weeks of school and mom thought it was best to
keep me home. So I could rest. And get better. I did rest but I didn't get
better. I got worse. Mom's weight tilting the mattress in the morning, her hand
on my forehead, brushing away my sticky hair. For days I lay in bed, floating
in a faintly fevered world with my lover's venom flushing from my system. I
fell prey to strange cravings. Alice and her sisters came to me in my sleep as
I flailed under the sweat-soaked sheets in the throes of sexual nightmare.
Struggling in the grip of these demonic harlots as they smiled with their fangs
and tore into my flesh. Climaxing with a cry, waking, lapsing again into the
darkness where they yet waited to devour me, body, heart, soul.

Now come days of delirium, days of despair. Days without Alice.

One night I went to look for her. Fumbling with the lock at the front door and
staggering down the sidewalk in my pajamas. Mom must've heard the door because
she soon came running out after me in her slippers. She took me by the
shoulders and turned me back toward the house.

"Come on, Bella," she said, wrapping her arm around me. "Come on, sweetie."

"No," I said, trying to struggle away. "No, I have to… I have to…"

She put me back in bed and stroked my hair until I fell asleep. It felt like
Alice's hand, but it was not Alice, and when I woke there was no mom nor Alice,
just dim dawn in the window and emptiness inside.

I couldn't eat, I couldn't drink. I couldn't think. Alice visited me in my
dreams, washing up on the shores of my sanity where she pretended not to notice
me, coyly toeing the ground with a naked foot as I screamed for her in my
sleep. Mom tried to shake me awake but I would not wake. Alice was on a beach.
Casting sad smiles at a sunset beyond the swells where no sun would ever rise
again. A trail of footsteps in the sand behind her. Mom woke me and rocked me
back to sleep and I was awake again within the hour, stumbling into the
bathroom, naked and drenched with sweat. I threw on the lightswitch and
collapsed at the toilet. I vomited blood into the bowl and wiped my mouth with
my wrist.

Standing at the sink, washing my hands. Spitting. A pink stain swirling into
the drain. I lifted my eyes to the face in the mirror, haggard, haunted, dark
hair dull and lank. A strained smile with lips that were pale and peeling and
speckled with blood.

"Well," I said to my reflection. "You're dying."

But by now I'd ceased to care. I went back to bed and Alice came to me again,
bending over the pillow and blinking at me with her nymphish eyes, asking me if
I was okay. I moaned her name and reached to grab her, to drag her from my
dreams into the waking world where I could hold her as I so needed to. But she
only giggled and sidled away, fading again into icy unreality and leaving
behind nothing but the memory of a scent, a touch, a kiss.

She was gone. Alice was gone. And no matter how hard I moaned and cried she was
never coming back. No Alice, life without Alice. The enormity of my dilemma was
revealed at last and for a while I couldn't breathe. My breath rasped in and
out as I tried to call out for her to come back. To apologize, to tell her how
sorry I was, because now I knew that she was right. It was better to die than
to live like this, without her, without her lips and her kiss, her smooth and
silky body as she lay at my side all warm and lovely. She was right. Death was
the only way, in her arms, under her lips. I'd told her no and now I was dying
alone.

In the morning mom found the blood in the toilet and rushed me to the emergency
room. They said the symptoms were similar to typhoid but there was no trace of
the virus in my system. Mom mentioned drugs, that maybe I'd been on drugs. But
there was no traces of that either. Again, the venom seemed to go undetected.

A genuine medical mystery. They looked at me in silence and I leaned to mom's
ear.

"I'm okay now," I lied.

A young nurse with brown hair was taking off my clothes. I giggled drunkenly
and wondered if we were going to fuck. Then she pulled a gown over my head and
tucked me into the bed.

Where I wheeled away in a hot helix of delirium that led me lower and lower
into the sleazy darkness of my heart where Alice was waiting. I saw her as I
left her at prom, in her tiny black dress, satin, so sexy. Smiling, smiling,
smiling softly in my skull. She was so beautiful, so amazingly gorgeous. Her
loveliness washed over me like a wave and made me collapse bonelessly at her
feet where I began clawing at the hem of her dress, gibbering and pleading with
her to come back, to be there when I woke up.

But she only smiled down at me and stepped away from my touch. She lifted a
foot and put her shoe against my shoulder, pushing me away. Then she turned and
left, leaving me to watch her ass as it rolled sexily under the black satin of
her dress.

My eyes fluttered and fluttered closed.

When I dreamed again, I dreamed of Jane and Leah, Jane in her cheerleader
uniform, Leah in her leathers. They were making out and offering me to join in,
but I had Alice, and I could never cheat on Alice. But Alice was standing
behind me and urging me to go ahead. Jane smirked and lifted her skirt to temp
me. Underneath her panties were pink and she giggled as I stared. Leah slipped
her hand inside and fingered her generously. They watched me with their heavy
eyes and Alice gave me a playful shove and soon I was tottering over toward
them.

Victoria laughed and suddenly I was somewhere else. Red room, red bed shaped
like a loveheart, red satin sheets. On the bed the redhead lounged with her
naked body in glorious exposure like a demoness in flames, her blonde slave
curled at her feet like a fallen angel and lapping lovingly at the pursed and
pink cleft between her legs. Victoria smiled and beckoned me forward. Dumbed
and drooling I crawled onto the bed beside the blonde and together we
alternated with our tongues to worship the redhead. Alice giggled and when I
looked up Alice was sitting on her mistress's face like a princess, winking at
me over her bare shoulder and grinding on Victoria's mouth.

And then I was back at school. English. Mrs Cullen was wearing a crotchless
black leather corset and carrying a whip. No one seemed to think it was strange
and for some reason the entire class was girls. Alice was going down on me
under the desk. Lauren was jealous.

"Miss Swan, what on earth is going on over there?" questioned Mrs Cullen.

I looked down at Alice's head. She was still licking at me, her eyes lifted to
mine passively. I shrugged at the teacher, embarrassed. "I don't know."

Lauren snorted. "Dumb dyke."

I looked at her and saw she was naked. Then I realized we were all naked and by
then I was coming under the desk while everyone watched.

Prom. But it was different this time, because this time I was going to let her
do it, let her have me the way she wanted to have me, because I realized now
that I couldn't live without her. I kept apologizing for not letting her the
first time, but she only soothed me with gentle words and peeled me out of my
dress before shedding her own, stepping pale and perfect from the pooled black
satin like a chrysalis emerging. She laid me on the bed and I was so happy to
have another chance, to give her what she wanted, to be the lover she wanted me
to be. I accepted her into my arms and kissed her passionately.

Writhing happily under her lips as they searched out every inch of this body
that belonged to her, all of it, just for her. My hands scrunching in the
sheets as her tongue pierced my entrance, my legs spread so far it felt like I
was splitting myself, moaning into a magnificent climax.

But there was another climax and this one was deeper, darker, a climax of
everything I'd ever known, loved, or longed for, and it was this climax Alice
was eager to offer me. And so she gathered me into her arms, limp and pliable,
completely hers. She kissed me and stroked me for a little bit, letting her
love spread through my body, letting the anticipation build and build until
finally she lowered her fangs and bit into my neck.

I gasped, knowing that this was the end, the last time, the best time. Knowing
that this was what Alice wanted more than anything, her dream, her fantasy, and
knowing that it was me who was giving it to her, me and no one else. The joy of
fulfillment came at me like a comet, blazing huge and ponderous through a dark
sky and whirling toward me at inconceivable speed, swirling in to consume me
and capture me and carry me away into a boundless universe of rapture and all-
knowing love, unity, and acceptance—bliss without end, in me and of me and all
around me forever in Alice's arms with Alice's name gasping from my lips –
Alice, Alice, Alice.

And then I woke up.

The happiness was gone and nothing welled to replace it beside a black and
absolute certainty that I'd never be happy again. It was my first lucid thought
in weeks and my second was that I wished I died.

Mom was beside my bed. The doctors had told her I was getting better and she
was very relieved to see me awake. Tears and everything. I managed to mumble a
few words to assure her that I was going to be fine and soon I was asleep
again.

I woke at night, in a dark room lit solely by the pale glow of the fluorescent
bar over my bar. I had a moment of dizzy deja vu and sat up wildly, looking for
Alice. The last time she'd left me she'd returned when I'd fallen into a coma.
But there was nothing and I subsided back against the pillow with an outbreak
of sweat across my forehead. I sniffed back tears and used my returning mental
clarity to call myself a pathetic moron. Of course she wasn't here. Last time
she'd only came back because Jane had called her. But who would call her this
time? Mom? Yeah right. By now I was sure mom would rather bludgeon her with a
phone than call her with it.

Alice was gone. But this time the realization caused nothing but numbness.
Alice was gone, taking my heart and soul with her, and I was never going to see
her again. My lip trembled and I started crying again, softly, but loud enough
to wake mom who was sleeping in the visitor's chair and who quickly rushed
forward to hug me and make me feel better.

I was in the hospital for another two days before mom took me home. During my
stay in the hospital she had purged the house of anything that might remind me
of Alice. She'd gotten rid of all her clothes, her notebooks, all her little
knick knacks. Which was probably a smart thing to do with a daughter who's
symptoms of depression extended to comas and vomiting blood. But honestly,
there was no reason for her to worry anymore. I couldn't claim to be over it,
but my time in the hospital had healed the worst of my ruptured heart. The
bleeding had stopped and the wound had began to scab over. The venom induced
delirium now seemed like the nightmare it really was and my heart hung dead and
cold in my chest like a big ball of scar tissue.

The only thing I truly missed from Alice's missing effects was the vibrator.
I'd gotten used to the thing and masturbating by hand seemed like a lot of
effort. But my convalescence seemed to require an orgasm or two, so I managed,
and managed quite often. Always thinking about Alice. It probably wasn't the
best way to get over her, but a girl can't help how she feels. My mind was
already over her, but the shredded remains of my heart held on bitterly, and my
pussy itself seemed entirely oblivious to the fact that we'd broken up.
Addiction or not, it craved Alice as much as it ever had, and nothing but
Alice—or the mental image of Alice—would satisfy. It made me wonder if Alice's
venom was the true reason behind my slutty behavior, or only the excuse, but it
seemed like a moot point; even before I'd met Alice I'd never been shy to rub
one out whenever the urge struck me.

All in all, I was doing okay in those days fresh out the hospital. All things
considered. Aside from crying myself to sleep most nights. And researching
suicide on the internet. I'd never do it, of course, but it was nice to know
the method most considerate to friends and family was in the bath with a razor;
less mess to clean up.

School was over by now and it was vacation. Spring time. A sad and bitter-sweet
season. Slumping through the days like a prisoner on parole, cautious and not
particularly optimistic about my new freedom. The intellectual part of my mind
knew that Alice had been bad for me, but it also knew that my life wasn't
likely to ever be better than death in Alice's arms. Still, I was alive, and I
was stuck with it, so I didn't complain.

But it wasn't all doom and gloom. In many ways, things were great. Mom showed
me my report card; I'd managed to pass a couple subjects, despite not handing
in a single piece of homework for the latter part of the semester. I promised
her I'd do better next year, and strangely I really did mean it. Even more
strangely, she believed me. Mom and I had had a reconciliation of sorts and
soon we had become closer than ever. She never pressed me for details on what
happened and why I reacted so badly to it. She was just grateful to have her
daughter back. Although one night we were watching a movie, a romantic comedy,
and she asked me if I thought the male lead was cute. Unfortunately, my recent
detox had done nothing to diminish my desire for the female form, and I was
forced to confess that maybe the girl was more my type. Mom might've been
disappointed that I didn't intend to straighten out all the way, but she hid it
well.

The detox, however, had been pretty rough on my body and I'd lost a lot of
weight, even dropping a bra-size. Luckily my appetite had returned and after
stuffing myself like a pig for a couple weeks I managed to regain a bit of
shape. Unfortunately, I'd also been scarfing every piece of chocolate I could
beg from mom, and one morning I looked into the mirror and saw a rash of
pimples across my forehead. Gone was my perfect pearl-like complexion and in
it's place was a greasy sheen over a pallid and suddenly not-so-pretty-anymore
face. It was another thing to be depressed about, but I rallied myself like the
mature and rational creature I am and remembered that I didn't have a
girlfriend any more so who cares if I'm an ugly troll. Real beauty's on the
inside, anyway.

Throughout all this the only memento I had to my life with Alice was her cat,
Fang. I didn't even remember bringing it home, but it had become part of the
house. Mom didn't have the heart to have it put to sleep, and even though she'd
never admit it, she seemed to like the vicious thing. It wasn't the most
affectionate animal a girl could wish for, but it was quiet and clean, so we
fed it and bought it toys and a cat box, and some nights it would even deign to
sit on my lap and let me pet it. Truthfully, it reminded me more of Rosalie
than Alice, although I didn't think the blonde ate cat food. I had a feeling
the poor thing missed it's mistresses, but it seemed content with me and mom,
and it was nice to have a pet.

The days rolled by, rolling inevitably toward school and the rest of my life
without Alice. I hadn't cried about it in a while, but when I woke up on my
birthday I indulged myself with a brief fit of sorrow as I fantasized how
perfect my birthday could've been with Alice. The presents, the sex. Alice
naked, a bright red ribbon around her throat. But deep in my heart I knew it
was fantasy only and the reality was that if I'd stayed with Alice I'd be dead.
And even deeper in my heart I was beginning to realize that Alice wasn't worth
dying for. She was worth fighting for, and caring for, and living for – but
death was just stupid.

But even without Alice, my birthday turned out to be pretty cool. I had no
friends to invite, but me and mom spent the day baking a cake together,
decorating it with cream and candles. Mom had put up some balloons and
streamers in the kitchen and she sang as she placed the cake in front of me in
the dark and told me to make a wish before blowing out the candles. My wish had
been prepared hours in advance and I smiled wistfully in the pale warmth of the
flickering candles as I said it in my head:

I wish Alice would come back.

But it was just a wish and I was well past the phase when I believed they meant
anything. So I blew out the candles without much hope and watched the thin
spires of smoke rise from the wicks, mom clapping and reaching for the
lightswitch.

Mom had bought me a car as a present, a truly extravagant gesture that seemed
to indicate a great deal of faith on her part. It was red and almost new. She
bought it cheap off a friend, she explained, and after protesting that I didn't
deserve it and promising to pay her back, she pressed the keys into my hand,
hugged me, and told me she only wanted me to be happy. Obviously she truly
believed I'd changed for the better, and as I jangled the keys and looked over
my new ride, I promised myself I'd prove worthy of her confidence.

The first place I drove to was the Cullen house. It was the day after my
birthday. I'd just been cruising around and found myself turning off in the
direction of the mansion. It probably wasn't the best way to facilitate my
recovery, but I was pretty much over it by now, and I only wanted to see.

But there was nothing to see. They hadn't come back and the house was still
empty, even emptier than last time. All the furniture had been removed and the
blank windows looked into blank rooms. A For Sale sign was stuck in the front
lawn and as I sat parked on the curb the truth became more clear than it ever
had been.

Alice was gone.

She was truly gone.

I bowed my head in my new car. Then I turned the key and drove home.

And that was that. Alice was gone, and wherever she was, I was sure she'd met
someone new, and probably hotter. I didn't think she'd go back to the redhead.
Those two had problems that went beyond me. Alice didn't want to die; she
wanted to kill. She could pretend to be as submissive as she wants, but in her
heart she was domme, through and through. Strangely, I still wasn't mad at her.
All I felt was pity and regret. Pity that she was so fucked in the head and
regret that I wasn't the woman she needed. And maybe, deep in my heart of
hearts, there was a tiny flicker of hope that maybe one day she'd come back.

In any case, the bitch was gone, the world rolled on. And now there was nothing
left to do but get on with the business of living, which invariably meant going
to school.

First day back was next Monday. I wasn't excited. After all, I was still gay
and unpopular. The only difference now was that I wasn't having sex with the
cutest girl in school anymore. It made me wonder why I'd been so eager to
continue living at all, but I managed to struggle out of bed in the morning and
into the shower, where I cheered myself up with a brisk fingering. Mom made me
pancakes for breakfast with melted butter and whipped cream and strawberries,
which managed to cheer me up even more. It was very difficult to maintain a
sense of soul-crushing despair and total personal worthlessness when confronted
with such a magnificent breakfast, and I gave up trying half-way through. If
this made me shallow, so be it. The return of my appetite was one of the few
perks of breaking up with Alice, and that morning I used it to stuff myself as
full as possible. I kept hoping for a coronary on the way to school from all
that saturated fat, but it seemed a couple pounds of weight gain and a pimple
or two were the best I could hope for.

Butterflies were fluttering in my well-fed tummy as I pulled up in the school
parking lot. I told myself that no one was going to bite me, but it didn't seem
that funny.

I got out the car, squinting in the sun. A bright and cheerful day to
commemorate my return to the happy and healthy reality of being bullied and no
sex. There was even a bird chirping somewhere. I lifted a hand to shield my
eyes and across the parking lot I saw Lauren.

She was beautiful. The sun glinting off her blonde hair, smiling as she chatted
away with her friends. She was walking with a few others toward the front
building, and my heart gave a pang for them. My old friends. So I shrugged up
my backpack and jogged over, catching up just as they were climbing the steps.

"Hey," I said, to the group but mostly to Lauren.

No one wrapped me into a boisterous hug and asked me how I spent my vacation,
but Angela smiled, and Lauren nodded coolly.

"Hey," she said, presumably on behalf of the group.

Then they continued up the steps and into the building. Conversation resumed
and I fell into step beside them, lagging behind slightly so that I could check
out their asses. Lauren's was cutest, and when she glanced over her shoulder
and saw what I was looking at, she gave me a smirk. Or she seemed to. I blushed
and looked away, and even though none of those asses held a candle to Alice's,
I felt that there may be hope for the future after all.

—

***** Chapter 25 *****
—

Chapter 25:

—

Alice and I had made a habit of locker-sharing in the final weeks of our
relationship, and for a while that morning I was afraid to open it, scared of
what I would find. Or wouldn't find. I stood there with the combination lock in
my hand, turning the tumbler slowly, rotating the knob into the combination
that only me and Alice knew, secret knowledge between us. Finally I jerked the
lock down and twisted it open. Then I paused, took a deep breath, and opened
the metal door.

It was exactly as we'd left it. The inside of the door was covered with
pictures of the two of us that she had taken and printed out, us and her
family. Most of them of us, together. My eyes landed on a picture she took on
one of our dates together, our cheeks pressed together to fit both our faces in
the frame and her arm outstretched to snap the photo on her cellphone. Alice
was smiling at the camera but my eyes were tilted toward her. I was smiling in
the picture but with a wistful cast to it, as if even then I knew it would
never last, could not possibly be real.

Seeing her pretty face again, even just in a picture, sent a wave of dizziness
over me so powerful I had to steady myself against the locker door, the
terrible truth crashing into me, again, as it did sometimes. Behind me people
were going by in groups or pairs, talking, laughing. I could hear nothing but a
ringing in my ears. Slowly I lifted my eyes to the pictures and blinked at
them.

Obviously they were a painful reminder of a painful break up, and a girl
dedicated to the mend of her broken heart would've almost certainly tore them
down and stuck them in the trash with all the other shredded remains of her
relationship. But I couldn't. I didn't cry, didn't even feel like crying, but I
felt that I wasn't quite ready to get over her completely. After all, it had
only been a couple months, and our relationship had been pretty intense. I knew
mom wouldn't approve of keeping the pictures, but mom would never know if I
left them here in my locker; a reminder every morning that once upon a time I
did have a girlfriend, and she was amazing and sexy and completely fucking
psychotic. Besides, I owed it to Alice. She was my soulmate. A period of
harmless depression seemed appropriate, even elegant. So I decided to leave the
pictures right where they were.

I was still staring at them when the bell rang, and with a forlorn sigh, I
lifted a hand and traced my fingertips over her smile. God, she was so
beautiful. I gathered my books, my eyes constantly darting toward the pictures,
the corridor clearing out behind me. Soon I was alone, and before closing the
locker, I took a quick glance around the empty hall and then I leaned and
kissed the picture, my heart giving a subtle pang, as if the kiss was real. I
went to close the locker, but paused again, gazing at her beautiful face, her
beautiful lips, and then I kissed my fingertips and touched them to the
picture, as if to say goodbye for now. Then I heaved one last sigh, closed the
locker, and hurried away to homeroom, not wanting to be late.

All morning there was a weird electricity between me and Lauren. I sat next to
her in homeroom and in English and again in History, poised silently at her
side like a shadow while she talked and chattered with her friends. She didn't
speak to me much, but she kept glancing and our eyes kept catching. So much had
happened between us over the last year, yet there was a startling lack of
tension between us – in fact, there even seemed to be a restrained eagerness,
especially on her part. She seemed determined to make a good impression on me,
and it was working. She had given up teasing me entirely, and when she did
speak to me it was polite and tactful, as if afraid of mentioning something
that should be left unmentioned. I replied with smiles and blushes and demurred
responses, which only seemed to please her. She didn't even swear that much.
She was almost a completely different person, at least with me. With everyone
else she was the same tough, bold, abrasive bitch she always was.

The only time she seemed to really tense up was at the mention of the Cullens.
It was a hot topic all day, especially at lunch, where I was personally
questioned on the subject. I'd wandered into the cafeteria at Lauren's heels
like a lost puppy and followed her to a table, hoping to slip into a chair
unnoticed. But I was beginning to realize that my recent exploits as both a
lesbian and the school slut had lent me a notoriety that almost felt like
popularity. All morning I'd been the target of little jabs and jibes about
Alice and the other Cullens, but delivered with a chuckle instead of a snicker.
All that plus my dark clothes and easy personality had lend me a kind of Bad
Girl panache, and everywhere I went I was recognized and talked about. The only
thing people talked about more that first day was the disappearance of the
Cullens.

People were extremely curious about what happened to them, especially after all
the lesbian imagery at prom. Rosalie had made out with me in front of the whole
school, Jane and Leah had been ass-grabbing all over the dancefloor, Victoria
was already the subject of many girls harassment claims, and of course Alice
had never been shy to publicly parade her sexuality. It made people more
curious than they would've been otherwise. After all, a pack of attractive
lesbian sisters with incestuous tendencies, disappearing overnight with no
reason, no plan, no goodbye. Were they murdered and buried in the woods? Were
they abducted into some kind of underground slave-ring? Did they runaway to
California and become porn stars? All very intriguing theories, but the
official explanation, according to teachers and friends of Leah, was somewhat
less lurid; family emergency.

Everybody seemed to think I had some inside information, and I did, of course,
although I pretended not to. It might've been tricky to explain that the
Cullen's were, in fact, vampires, and that they had fled town over
complications arising from Alice's need to cement our relationship in the
sanctity of death. Still, they prodded for details all through lunch until my
articulate shrugs began to get boring, and then they talked about something
else.

Lauren was quiet all through the inquisition. There were plenty of
opportunities for hurtful comments during my fumbling attempts to explain that
I knew nothing, but she seemed content to simply glare at her sandwich until
the topic was changed. She seemed as uncomfortable about the whole thing as I
was, or more even.

I fell silent until I finished eating, chewing silently and wondering how long
it had been since I actually ate lunch in the cafeteria. I didn't even know.
For over a month Alice and I had spent our lunch periods in the abandoned
classroom upstairs, enjoying a different kind of meal that wasn't quite so
nutritious. Then again, it's not like these cafeteria sandwiches were
particularly healthy. I should probably lay off the bread, anyway. Too many
carbs. I'd gained a couple pounds since the breakup and I wasn't walking to
school anymore, so it was probably time to start watching my weight, although I
had no idea why. It's not like I had a girlfriend anymore.

I sighed and looked up—and Lauren looked away. I felt a hot flush that drove
away a good portion of my melancholy and made me smirk slightly. I may have
lost my half-turned vampire sparkle, but it seemed I was still cute enough for
Lauren. Was it actually possible that she still liked me? I had no fucking
clue, but I still found it hard to believe she'd openly date me, even if she
did like me.

So I sighed and stood up from the table with my tray, deciding to take a stroll
upstairs where I could amble past the empty classroom of my memories and wallow
in the despair of never meeting Alice there again. But as I stood up, Lauren
stood up too—almost as if she'd been waiting—and she fell into step beside me
as I made my way to the trash containers.

"Fucking Jessica," Lauren said conversationally. "Bitch needs to shut the fuck
up about that loser she's dating. Can't she see no one gives a fuck?"

Her words made me smile like a goof. I'd always loved Lauren's brash
abrasiveness, and it was a delight to hear it aimed at someone other than me.
It gave me the feeling that we could be friends, and of course it was
flattering that she'd left the table simply to have a couple extra seconds with
me.

I gave her a polite chuckle in response, but since I had no idea what Jessica
had been talking about, I couldn't really offer any meaningful comment. We
dumped our trays and Lauren glanced back at the table before glancing at me.

"So what class you got next?"

This was natural curiosity since our schedules were all new, but I got the
impression that maybe she was hoping we had the same class. To be honest, I
didn't even know what I had next, so I pulled the schedule out of my pocket and
unfolded it.

My heart sank.

Biology was next.

Biology would always have a special place in my heart, mostly because it was
how me and Alice met. The first time I'd spoken to her was in Biology, on her
first day. I could remember it as if it was yesterday, as I walked into the lab
and saw her sitting in the pale light at the window, an empty stool beside her,
approaching with my heart pounding in my chest as she turned and—

Lauren was looking at me. My face was blank and I tucked the schedule back into
my pocket.

"Biology," I said, no hint of the weird feelings that ran through me.

It was definitely going to be the worst class for the rest of my school life.
School without Alice was bad enough, but Biology without Alice was just wrong
and unnatural. It was our class. How could I ever be expected to sit at a bench
beside anyone but Alice, sharing a microscope with anyone but Alice, chatting
with anyone but—

"Me too," Lauren said.

My heart fluttered for some reason. Lauren had Biology too? With me?

She'd been watching to see how I'd react to this news, and what she saw must've
been encouraging, because she added:

"Wanna be labpartners?"

The question hung in the noisy cafeteria air as my mind snatched it up and
analyzed it. Not only did Lauren have Biology with me, but she wanted to be my
labpartner, too? It seemed like a serious step, and there seemed to be a
subtext to the question, as if she was also asking if I wanted to sit next to
her, if I wanted to talk to her, if I wanted to be her friend, and I realized
that yes, I wanted all those things. And as I realized all that I realized
something else:

I still liked Lauren.

"S-sure," I stuttered, then recovered, cleared my throat, and added: "I mean,
um…sure."

She smiled at my attempt at casualness, and I blushed. Two seconds ago I
thought Biology without Alice would be worse than chinese water torture. Now it
didn't seem so bad.

Lauren and I spent the rest of lunch walking around and talking by ourselves
and we appeared at the Biology lab together, taking a bench at the very back of
the room as half the class turned on their stools to glance. Bella and Lauren?
Sitting together? By themselves? The scrutiny made me blush, and I was worried
Lauren might have regrets at willingly placing herself at my side, but she only
swept a glare across the room causing each glance to fall away quickly as if
they hadn't been looking at all. I had a strange tingling sensation over my
skin and when she turned to me she smiled.

My heart flipped, and I should've smiled back, but all I could do was look away
hastily, pretending to fuss with my notebook. I was genuinely confused. Why was
Lauren being so nice? It didn't make sense. The only explanation was that she
truly did like me – and more importantly, intended to do something about it.
But was that really possible? Could Alice's departure really have caused such a
change in her?

The teacher came in and started the lesson. Me and Lauren worked together
quietly, with a lot of glancing, a lot of blushing. I noticed that her shiny
blonde hair was as pretty as it always was, swept back from her face by a pink
headband. It was the perfect shade of platinum, pale and flaxen. I'd always
loved blonde hair. She was dressed in jeans and a pink top, and she looked as
she always did, pretty and popular. But no one knew her the way I knew her.
They didn't know the Lauren that hated pink, hated cheerleading, hated boys.
The Lauren that liked girls – me in particular. Nobody understood her the way I
did and nobody would accept her the way I would. Is that why she likes me?

And me? Do I still like her? It felt like it, especially now, sitting so close
to her. But at the same time it felt weird to be anyone's labpartner but Alice.
It felt wrong somehow, as if I was cheating on Alice or on Alice's memory. But
I guess there was enough resentment inside me that I didn't care. A strange
wistfulness settled over me as I kept an eye on Lauren, trying to notice every
glance she directed at me without being obvious that I was trying to notice.
Lauren's glances weren't potent enough to whip me into a frenzy of raging
estrogen that required skipping class for a quickie in the bathroom, but they
made me blush, and I took comfort in the simplicity of the feeling. It was nice
to simply like someone without being in danger of launching myself at her like
an animal.

We talked, we joked, we compared notes. I was still completely confused at how
nice she was being. Was she seriously into me? Was she seriously trying to make
good with me? It seemed so odd and impossible, but the more I thought about it
the more it seemed to make sense. Maybe she'd been thinking about this all
vacation, fantasizing about it even. Her boyfriend was gone, off to college,
and Alice was gone, too, which meant she finally had a clear window – at me.
The girl she'd been secretly crushing on for who knows how long, the girl she'd
had amazing sex with on the beach, the girl she'd thrown herself at at prom.

The thought was dizzying. Lauren liked me – and she was going to do something
about it.

It had been my highschool dream ever since my very first day, and to think that
it could happen now, so soon after Alice, right when I needed it most – it
seemed too good to be true. My life is supposed to suck; since when am I
allowed to be happy?

But maybe I'm just deluding myself. After all, Alice had been a dream, too, and
Alice had turned out to be a bit of a nightmare. It seemed to happen a lot in
my life. Besides, even if Lauren did like me, she probably wouldn't be ready to
express that like any time soon. It must be taking all her composure to simply
sit next to me. And aside from all this, did I really want a new girlfriend?
Was I really ready to put Alice behind me and move on with someone new? I
wasn't sure, but as I glanced at Lauren for the hundredth time that day, I
figured it couldn't hurt to lose a few of those extra pounds just in case.

Last period of the day was PE, another class that me and Lauren shared. And
another one that I used to share with Alice. It was the same old locker room,
the place where me and Alice would linger until everyone had gone so we could
have sex in the showers, the place were I'd been raped by the redhead and the
blonde. Ah, the memories. I missed all the Cullens, but other than Alice, I
think I missed the redhead most and the erotic complications she added to my
life. I'd hated her at the time, but in hindsight she really didn't seem so
bad. She never tried to kill me at least, and the sheer sexiness of the woman
took the edge off her demands for sexual obedience.

There was no chance of shower-sex today, unfortunately – or gang rape. No
matter how much Lauren might like me, I didn't think she was quite ready to get
slippery in the showers. And while I wouldn't have a objected if several of the
girls held me down and took turns sitting on my face, I really didn't think
that was going to happen either.

So I consoled myself by remembering it was the last class of the day, and got
changed into my gym clothes. White t-shirt, navy shorts. My t-shirt wasn't
quite as tight across my chest as it used to be and I took a moment to lament
my drop in bra-size. But after quickly checking out the other half-dressed
girls in the locker room, I reached a conservative conclusion that I was still
among the most well-endowed of my weight class.

Eventually we all filed out into the gym, me trailing at Lauren's side. The
coach had decided to welcome us all back to school with a nice relaxing game of
dodgeball, which wasn't much of a surprise. It seemed to be the only thing we
did in PE, other than routine calisthenics and the occasion bout of badminton.

Yet even here I was in for a surprise. Lauren was one of the team captains—and
surprise, surprise—she picked me to be on her team. She couldn't pick me first,
of course. I was still uncoordinated deadweight that added no value to a team
at all. But she picked me third, before most of her friends even, which was
basically the same as declaring in a loud voice that I was her new BFF. It was
the first time in the whole of my memory that I'd been picked before Angela.
Lauren got some skeptical glances and the other two girls whined bitchily about
having 'that clumsy dyke' on their team, but as I took my place behind my
blonde captain I couldn't help giving her a grateful smile. She pretended not
to notice for the sake of her reputation—pretending that she'd picked me for my
stellar and well-known athleticism and nothing else—but I noticed her blush,
and I was more positive than ever that she was deliberately being nice to me.
It was going to be a long time before I fully got over Alice, but if Lauren
kept this up, it probably wouldn't be too long before I got my panties off.
Vampire venom or not, I was pretty sure I was still a slut – all I needed was a
girl to find out.

The game started and no one was really surprised when I was eliminated within
thirty seconds. I trudged off-court to a chorus of snickering and soon I was
joined by Angela. Angela was still the closest thing I had to a friend—aside
from Lauren's attempts to be my new bestie—and like everyone else in school she
was curious about what happened to the Cullen's, and before long she was trying
to wheedle information from me. We were sitting on the bench, watching the
game, and she must've thought I'd be more open if no one else was around. But I
really had nothing for her.

"So you really don't know where they went?" she asked, clearly in disbelief.

I shrugged, watching Lauren on the court. "Nope," I said. "They didn't say,
they just split."

"Come on, you were dating one of them," she said, making the word dating sound
like it was the most despicable thing two people could do. And considering the
things me and Alice had done together, it was ironically appropriate. "How
could she seriously not tell you where they were going?"

I was acutely uncomfortable at the topic, but I guess I was so good at acting
casual that Angela couldn't tell. "I don't know," I said. "We had a fight. At
prom. I never saw her again. I didn't even know she was going."

Angela still seemed skeptical. "She just left?"

"Yeah."

She snorted. "Wow," she said. "That's pretty heartless. She never even called
or anything?"

I shook my head, feeling stomach turn. Truthfully, I sill wasn't sure if I had
any right to be mad at her. I'd known she was a vampire, and I'd known she was
completely crazy; it was me who should've handled it better.

Angela, however, seemed willing to blame Alice. "Jeez," she said. "What a
bitch."

"It wasn't her fault," I said.

"Why? What'd you do?"

I dropped my eyes to the floorboards. What had I done? I failed her. Not just
in the end, but every step of the way. I cheated on her, I slept around, I
rejected her dream so harshly she couldn't even bare to see me anymore. But I
couldn't explain any of that to Angela, so I just shook my head. "I can't talk
about it."

"Did you fuck one of her sisters again?"

I looked at her. It seemed a little harsh from a girl like Angela, but she'd
said it with a playful smile and she quickly apologized.

"Sorry," she said. "But, you know. I mean, I know you guys were serious, but
you weren't like, serious, serious. You were just fuck buddies, really.
Actually, it was kind of disgusting."

I frowned at this. I'd never really stopped to think about what other people
thought about our relationship, but I guess what Angela said made sense. Mom
had never been convinced that me that Alice were anything but irresponsible
sluts. Most of the school thought we were just whores. Alice's own family never
believed we were soulmates. And deep down, maybe I had never believed it
either.

The only person who'd truly believed in us was Alice.

I felt a sudden choking feeling in my throat and I looked down so that Angela
wouldn't see the tears come into my eyes. "I still loved her," I said.

Angela looked at me for a second and a lot of the snicker went out of her
voice. "Do you miss her?" she asked.

I balked at the question, not wanting to confront my feelings on it, and
delayed by saying: "Who?"

Angela chuckled once. "Alice, you idiot."

Still not wanting to answer, I shrugged helplessly and looked out over the
court. Lauren was out there, smirking, ball in hand. She threw it, hit a girl
in the head. Only months ago I used to sit here watching Alice on the court,
watching her glide and bounce gracefully over the floorboards with her ass so
round and cute in her shorts. Lauren's ass was nice too, but her hips were
slimmer, and it just wasn't the same.

So I turned to Angela and shrugged again. "Yeah," I said. "I guess so. I mean,
you know. We were dating a long time."

She nodded. Then sighed. "Not as long as me and my boyfriend were," she said.

Obviously she was done talking about me and wanted to talk about herself. And
since the topic of Alice was still quite painful, I obliged her by showing
interest.

"Were?" I queried.

She shrugged glumly. "I don't know," she said. "After prom, we kind of just
stopped hanging out. I guess technically we're still together."

"What happened?"

"I think he was hurt that I left prom without him."

I thought back to prom for a second and vaguely I remembered Angela being hit
on by Leah. And then I remembered her boyfriend going around looking for her
because he couldn't find her. Had she left with Leah?

"Why'd you leave without him?" I asked.

Another shrug. "I don't know," she said. "I just didn't want to deal with
telling him no about sex."

"Didn't he drive you to prom?"

"Yeah."

"So how'd you get home?"

"Leah gave me a ride."

She didn't look at me as she said it, saying it just casual as if it was
perfectly normal to catch a ride home with an aggressive lesbian vampire who
you were grudgingly crushing on. I smirked slightly.

"Leah?" I prodded.

This time she smirked, allowing that maybe it was kind of suspicious, but it
was pretty clear from her expression that nothing had actually happened. It
didn't surprise me. Angela wasn't gay and Leah was certainly the least
psychotic sister. She wouldn't have forced Angela if Angela didn't want to.

"Yeah, Leah" Angela said, then chuckled. "You know she tried to hit on me? I
mean, I'd never actually do it, but it was pretty cool that she was into me.
Hard to believe that whole family's lezbo. I mean, not only you were doing
Alice, but you did it with that redhead too, and then you were making with the
blonde one at prom. And Leah said she and Jane used to do kiss practice. I
mean, how gross is that?"

I smiled. It was nice to see she was over her reflex homophobia, but she didn't
seem accepting of the faux-incest. I suppose she was right. Foster sisters or
not it was pretty gross, at least to a regular person. To me, it had been kind
of hot, but I've never been the most conservative girl around town. Either way,
she had a point and it was the principle that mattered, so I agreed.

"Pretty gross."

"Yeah," she said, and she looked like she was about to elaborate on the
grossness when suddenly she appeared to remember something. "Oh!" she said,
loudly. "Shit, I completely forgot."

The coach blew her whistle and barked something at Lauren. Lauren held up her
hands defensively and pretended she hadn't deliberately thrown the ball at the
other girl's nose. I smiled and turned to Angela.

"Forgot what?"

"Back at prom," she said. "Me and Leah were hanging out, and one of her sisters
called. It must've been bad news or something, because she had to go home right
away. But before she did, she told me to give you something."

She had succeeded in grabbing my attention. "Give me what?"

"The flashdrive from her camera," she said. "It had all these pictures on it of
you and Alice. She said you might want them." Then she shrugged and added: "I
guess she knew they were all going to be leaving soon. I was going to give it
to you the Monday after prom, but I didn't see you. Then there was a vacation,
and I didn't have your number, and today I just completely forgot. Till now."

A weird feeling passed over me. Leah had known they were leaving and she wanted
me to have something to remember them by – to remember Alice.

The thought gave me an unexpected surge of warmth for the other girl. Leah had
always cared about me more than the others. She was really the only one who had
truly been considerate of my feelings. But why leave the flashdrive with
Angela? Had Alice been so upset that Leah didn't even have time to say goodbye?

Angela was waiting for a response of some kind so I snapped out of my daze and
said:

"Do you still have it?"

"Yeah, it should still be in my locker," she said. "Do you want it?"

—

I drove home from my first day back at school with a pensive expression and a
flashdrive in my pocket containing pictures of my ex-girlfriend that I wasn't
fully over. I kept wondering if I should've refused the pictures, or just
tossed the flashdrive away, but I couldn't do it, didn't even really consider
it. I used the same reasoning I'd used to keep the pictures I'd found in my
locker; I wasn't angry at Alice, and I wasn't that eager to get over her,
either. Lacking Alice herself, regret was all I had left. Besides, having
pictures on my computer at home couldn't be any more worse or damaging than
having them in my locker at school. I'd just have to make sure mom didn't find
out, that's all.

And as soon as that thought occurred to me, I had to snort and shake my head.
They were just pictures, but I'd have to keep them secret. Secret from mom.
Alice wasn't even here anymore and she was still causing me to lie.

When I got home I pulled up on the curb, leaving the driveway clear for mom,
and then I went inside. As soon as I closed the door the cat came trotting down
the stairs and, in an unexpected display of affection, she rubbed up against my
ankle. I smiled and bobbed down.

"Hey, Fang," I said in the pleasant tones one takes with lifeforms that aren't
really expected to understand what you're saying. "Miss me? Hm? Yes, you missed
me, didn't you? It's okay, you can admit it."

I reached out and petted the cat's head very delicately. It tolerated this for
a couple seconds then it tried to bite me. But I'd been alert, and I pulled my
hand away, giggling. I pointed at her warningly.

"Bad girl, Fang," I admonished playfully. "No biting."

The cat purred and stared at my finger, as if longing to take a bite, and I
quickly swatted her tail with my other hand, taking her by surprise. She jumped
around and crouched against the floor, as if she thought she was a lion. I
giggled, rose, and went upstairs, the cat following me.

I sat at my computer and a nervous cramp engulfed my stomach as I inserted the
flashdrive. While it auto-installed the software, I glanced at the cat, trying
to distract myself. There was a dent at the foot of my bed where she had been
sleeping all day and now she jumped up onto the covers and settled in the exact
same spot, curled up and watching me over her tail.

I smiled and waved at her. She didn't reply, but I really got the impression
she was happy to see me. I wonder why the Cullens left her at the house? I know
they're vampires, but didn't they at least have the humanity to find a new home
for their loyal pet? I'm there were plenty of families out there who would've
been happy to take in a violent and anti-social housecat. It seemed cruel to
leave her all alone in an empty house, although better than dropping her off at
an animal shelter, I suppose. Assuming she knew how to get outside, she
probably could've survived by hunting and eating small birds; she didn't seem
overly domesticated.

Pretty cat, too. She was small, less than five pounds, and her fur was long and
thick. Brushing her every night was pure hell that required heavy duty gloves
and ambush tactics, but it was very beautiful fur; all black with white on her
paws that looked like socks or stockings and a white stripe down her forehead.

I watched the cat with my dumb smile of admiration until the poor thing became
so suspicious it's tail started twitching, and then I turned back to the
computer. I hesitated with my finger on the mouse, my stomach turning, and then
I opened the pictures in a gallery.

The first picture was a picture of Alice. Leah had snapped it before we'd even
entered the gym, still in daylight as we were passing through the parking lot.
The picture was on a slight angle as if Leah had taken it while walking and
Alice was midstep in her tiny black satin dress. She'd turned to the camera and
flashed a perfect smile, head tilted slightly and her eyes so bright, so
vibrant, no hint at all of the darkness that brooded behind them.

It took me by surprise. My vision blurred and I looked away as my throat closed
over. I swallowed, once, twice, and breathed in, and breathed out. Then I
lifted my eyes back to the picture.

I don't know how long I stared at the one picture, but it was a long time, and
in all that time I could think of nothing but how beautiful she was and how
much I missed her. I clicked on the next one. This one was Alice and Jane, arms
around each other's shoulders, smiling. This one was taken outside as well and
Jane's blonde hair was mid-flicker. I wondered if they were together now
somewhere, if Jane had finally recaptured that intimacy with Alice that she'd
lost when Alice started dating me. I hoped she did. Jane was kind of cool and I
knew Alice liked her too. I clicked on the next picture, and froze.

It was me. I didn't know why that was so shocking, but it was. I was standing
there in my white gown, white collar, smiling self-consciously as I tucked an
unruly lock of dark hair behind my ear. I looked incredible; pale and ethereal
in the windy gray-blue dusk, like a girl closer to death than life. I stared at
the picture for a long time, letting my eyes roam over this other me, this me
who's life was unraveling all around her, this me who would've done anything
for her girlfriend besides die, this me who looked so amazingly beautiful in
her prom dress. There was a glazed cast over my eyes, something reluctant and
resigned, as if somewhere deep inside I'd already abandoned hope. I sniffed,
shook my head, and kept clicking.

Tears began to fall as I cycled through them, silent droplets that dashed on my
cheeks as I wiped them away with my fingers. I saw pictures of Alice, pictures
of Jane and Leah, pictures of all their friends. Pictures of me.

Someone had taken a picture or two of the blonde and the redhead, and for a
while I stared at this one as well, examining the redhead's cleavage in the
rich velvet of her maroon dress before lifting my eyes to her face and looking
into those sharp green eyes that shined with utter confidence. The blond was at
her side, an arm around her mistress's waist, not smiling, but certainly not
unhappy. I noticed that the blonde was just a fraction taller than the redhead.
I'd never noticed that before. They were both so beautiful and statuesque. I
stared, and for a moment I envied their relationship. Alice had once described
them as soulmates with benefits, and I think I understood that now. The bond
between them seemed to transcend monogamy or convention or anything like that.
No matter how obsessed they were with Alice, they were always first in each
other's hearts.

I continued cycling through them. There were a lot, over a hundred, and soon my
emotions had settled to the point where I could look at Alice with little more
than hopeless longing. She was so beautiful, so happy. And the whole time she
was hoping to murder me in bed like a blackwidow. I came across a picture of
the two of us on the dance floor, swaying in the darkness under the disco-
lights. Jane or Leah must've taken it without us knowing, because we weren't
looking at the camera. We were gazing into each other's eyes, identical smiles
of loving devotion on our lips. I looked at Alice's face for a long time,
wondering what she could possibly be thinking in that moment. She loved me –
and she wanted to kill me? How could two such conflicting desires exist in her
heart at the same time. I didn't know, but as I stared at the picture I truly
began to regret that I didn't let her do it. I'd never agree with her that
death was the best thing for us, but it was what she wanted, and in the end,
all I ever wanted to do was make her happy.

I sighed and kept clicking. There were some more pictures of Alice and I
dancing, a couple pictures of Alice's friends, and then suddenly there was a
picture of Jane's panties.

I'd been leaning on an elbow as I gazed forlornly at these bittersweet
memories, and as the sudden close up of Jane's hot pink thong filled the screen
I actually recoiled in shock. Then I chuckled once and looked closer. Obviously
she had stuck the camera up her dress and snapped a picture pointblank of her
underwear. Cute. I clicked to the next picture and sure enough another thong
filled up the screen; this one black lace – Alice's. I giggled to myself and
shook my head. It was funny. They were immortal beings, centuries old, and in
their accumulated wisdom they had decided to huddle in a highschool bathroom
and stick a camera up their skirts to presumably surprise their girlfriend's
with a kinky snapshot of their sexy panties.

A blush settled over my face and I stared at the picture for a long time,
longer than any of the others. It was a somewhat sad commentary on the depth of
my feelings, but honestly, I found this picture the most fascinating of all. It
seemed to capture the essence of my charming soulmate absolutely perfectly;
sexy, playful, kind of slutty. I leaned my chin on my palm and gazed wistfully
at that thin triangle of black lace, remembering the pussy it so teasingly
concealed, remembering how pretty that pussy was, how yummy, how much I'd loved
going down on it. A dull throb began between my legs and I figured why not. Mom
wouldn't be home for a while, and I had the whole house to myself, so—

Actually, I didn't have the whole house to myself.

I looked back at the bed and saw the cat dozing on the covers. I felt bad to
wake her up, but what I was about to do was pathetic enough without an
audience, so I picked her up, set her out into the hall, and closed the bedroom
door behind me. Then I sat back at my desk, shuffled my chair forward, and let
a hand slip into the waistband of my black cargoes. When I was done, I cycled
through the rest of the pictures quickly, and saved them all to the harddrive.

When mom came home she found me at the kitchen table, bent over my school books
like a good girl. Homework was light on the first day back, but I'd gotten a
late start, and I was only half done. I'd fed the cat and currently Fang was
crouched at a small plate of tuna which I'd served on the actual tabletop.

"Bella," mom admonished with a glance at the cat. "I've told you not to feed
her at the table."

I didn't see why the cat couldn't eat at the table like a respectable person,
but I didn't want to argue. Mom had gone to pet her to say hello, but this was
a bad idea while she was eating; she growled warningly and took a swipe with
her paw. Mom jerked back, and the cat quickly hopped down from the table and
trotted away with a sullen air, as if her dinner had been ruined and she wanted
everyone to know.

"Hi, mom," I said.

Mom was rubbing her hand; she must've got nicked. She noticed I was doing
homework and smiled. "Hi, sweetie," she replied. "How was your first day back?"

Judging from her expression she seemed to be hoping for some positivity out of
me, so I decided it was probably best not to mention that I still hated school,
still hated my life, and that it sucked to go through the whole day without
having sex in the bathroom three different times between classes. I smiled
instead and shrugged with the correct amount of casualness.

"Pretty good," I said, and then, remembering that the day hadn't been totally
awful after all, I added: "Lauren's my new labpartner."

The mention of Lauren made her smile. Which made sense, I guess. I'd always
talked about Lauren as if she was my best friend, and mom had no idea that in
actuality she wasn't really the sweetest girl in the world. Not till today, at
least.

"Oh," she said, slipping off her handbag and putting it on the kitchen counter.
"Isn't that the girl who might kind of like you?"

I smiled, reigning back a blush. "Yep," I said, and felt a sudden desire to
elaborate. Mom had always wanted me to be open about my relationships, so I
figured I might as well start. "Actually," I said. "I think it might be more
than 'kind of' like me. She was glancing at me all day and she even ignored her
friends to hang with me."

I was afraid she was going to launch into another of her lectures about how
lesbianism is mostly just a phase and I should probably just go straight now
and save time, but she managed to contain herself. "Well," she said,
appropriately impressed. "That's a nice start to the year, isn't it?"

I smiled and tapped my pen on my notebook. "Maybe," I said coyly.

She must've noticed the romantic gleam in my eyes, because she went playfully
stern and held up a cautionary finger. "But whatever happens, remember; school
before relationships. You're not there to find a girlfriend, you're there to
learn. Right, sweetie?"

I felt a bit like a four year old, but it was cute how determined mom was to
steer me in the correct direction, so I nodded. "Sure, mom," I said, and under
my mother's proud smile I bent once again to my school books like the studious
young girl I was.

—

But no matter how much I wanted to a be mature and respectable young woman, I
was still the same love-struck moron I always was, and in the days and weeks to
come my interactions with Lauren soon became the most important thing in my
life. It was only lucky that Lauren was a regular girl, not a vampire bent on
corrupting my body and devouring my heart itself.

So my budding fixation on Lauren and Lauren's feelings for me didn't affect my
school or homelife very much. On the contrary, it actually helped. Lauren was a
girl who took her school work strangely seriously, despite her deep distain for
it, and she didn't let me slack off even in Biology. Personally, I felt that
admiring her hair was far more important than a passing grade, but she
obviously wasn't quite so pathetic. And since intelligence seemed to impress
her, I soon found myself attacking my academic activities with a vigor and
motivation heretofore unknown to me, ensuring at every opportunity that my vast
cerebral faculty was exposed and on display for anyone who cared to look –
hopefully Lauren. In math I'd pounce on answers like Hermione Grainger, smiling
easily as if my head didn't just almost explode from working it out so fast. In
history I actually raised my hand from time to time.

I even made an extra effort in PE. I discovered that if I actually tried, I
wasn't quite as uncoordinated as I had assumed, and without Lauren specifically
snipping me out like a blonde assassin I was even able to survive a decent
length of time in dodgeball. Amazingly, PE actually became fun. Lauren took to
protecting me on the court and in one memorable moment, she actually shoved me
aside from an incoming ball and took the hit herself. I'd stumbled and landed
with my ass on the floor, and I looked up at my blonde hero as she yelled at
the other team to go fuck themselves. The coach blew her whistle and threatened
detention and finally Lauren turned to me and smiled as I stared up her and
then she held out a hand to help me up. I took the hand, suppressing a smile at
the tingles that rippled through me, and rose clumsily to my feet. Lauren asked
if I was okay, and as I stuttered out that yeah I was fine, a ball hit me in
the side of the head. A laugh rose from the other team and even Lauren couldn't
help grinning just slightly. We trudged offcourt together and sat next to
Angela on the bench, but we sat very close together, and it was mostly me that
Lauren talked to.

It was like a dream come true. Well, almost. Because, despite the glancing, the
blushing, the smiling, we were still technically just friends, and while that
was certainly a step up from our former paradigm of bully/victim, I couldn't
help feeling it would be even better if Lauren would grow some balls and stick
her tongue in my mouth already. It was pretty obvious she wanted to. Sometimes
I'd have bouts of anxiety where I'd wonder if maybe I was delusional and she
didn't really like me at all, but the circumstantial evidence was
overwhelmingly in my favor. In addition to our previous history—which included
sex and massive amounts of stress and jealousy and drunken propositioning—there
was also the fact that I caught her looking at my body in the locker room. This
in itself wasn't so strange. My breasts were large and they sometimes got a
glance or two, of envy or scorn or even awe. Perfectly natural. But it didn't
strike me as entirely natural the way Lauren blushed at being caught, quickly
looked away, and fumbled with her pants so badly she almost fell over as she
pretended she hadn't been looking at all.

Obviously the repression was beginning to become a problem for her. Sometimes I
thought maybe I should be the one to make a move, but the ramifications were
just too complicated. Lauren was a temperamental chick—much like Alice—and
kissing her could lead to any number of regrettable outcomes. I was certain
that she liked me, but I had no way to know if she actually wanted to date me.
There were rumors about us at this point, and even though Lauren didn't deny
them too loudly, she did deny them, and she'd snap at Angela when she teased us
playfully by offering two straws to share a carton of chocolate milk at lunch.
To put it simply, Lauren just wasn't ready. She had her closet door open a
crack and she was peeking out at the possibilities, but she wasn't quite ready
to fling it open and dive between my legs. And rather than risk scaring her
back inside, I decided to give her all the time she needed.

And, if I'm being completely honest, I'd have to admit that I was still
reluctant to get over Alice. I liked Lauren, I couldn't deny it, and I would've
been happy to get her clothes off. But the memory of Alice niggled at my
stomach and reminded me that there was only one Alice, only one perfect little
Alice, and Lauren, as much as I liked her, was no Alice.

It was also depressing how easily I was getting over my depression. A proper
heroine would've jumped off a cliff by now, and yet here I was daydreaming
about a date with Lauren. It made me regret that I didn't commit suicide back
when I had the legitimate impulse, but an opportunity missed is an opportunity
wasted, and now I had no other choice but to face the facts: I'm no heroine.
I'd hoped I was, but I'm not. I failed her as her soulmate and now I was moving
on to the first blonde with an interest. Sad, but hey; a girl can't help the
way she feels.

But even if the depression was fading, a new feeling was taking it's place. It
felt like fondness. Every morning I'd place a kiss on the picture of Alice
inside my locker and every night I'd cycle through my vampire gallery at home
until I came to Alice's pantie-shot. There was always a feeling of wistfulness,
but mostly it was all beginning to feel like a memory, a dream. There would
always be a special corner of my heart reserved just for her. She was my first
love, first date, first kiss. She was my soulmate, and I'd never forget her.

But it was time to move on. As much as I'd love to demonstrate my eternal
devotion with a lifetime of stalwart and forlorn celibacy, I really wanted a
new girlfriend.

It was over a month before anything happened with Lauren. We'd been spending a
lot of time together at school and we even exchanged phone numbers. We moved
slowly in deference to her reputation, but soon we were studying in the library
after school, and eventually she made up some excuse to ask me if I wanted to
study at her place. I suppressed as much eagerness as I could, but I made it
quite clear that nothing would make me happier. It was one of the few times in
my life that I was legitimately enthusiastic to do homework. Studying at her
place had always been both a dream of mine and the opening scene of certain
fantasies. I didn't think we'd end up in a tearful confession of mutual
feelings before flinging away our notebooks and mauling each other, but it was
still very exciting.

So I followed her to her house where she lived in an upper-class area of our
fair township of Forks. It was a nice house. Two stories, freshly painted, a
low hedge in the front garden. It was a gloomy spring, but the sun seemed to
shine specifically in the neighborhood, as if to demonstrate that it really was
better to live around here. Lauren never talked about her family much, but from
what I understood, she was the middle daughter in a semi-typical family unit.
She had two sisters, both parents, and a pair of medium-sized dogs in the back
yard that she introduced me to briefly before we settled in her room to study
and glance at each other over our notebooks.

Her room was overwhelmingly pink. It surprised me, but not as much as the
Barbie Doll collection on the dresser. All in all, it was not what I expected
from the Lair of Lauren.

Lauren noticed me staring at the doll collection and waved it away with a
mutter about how her mom used to buy them for her even though she never liked
them, not even as a kid. I nodded, as if that piece of trivia was fascinating,
and glanced the collection over. There was no Ken Doll on display, and I
wondered if this was further evidence that Lauren didn't like guys, or if maybe
she just didn't like Ken. She went on to explain with a snicker that the only
time she used to play with them was to stick pins in Barbie's head and burn her
hair with matches. This struck me as rather psychotic, but compared to Alice,
perhaps mutilating blonde dolls wasn't so bad.

Either way, I had more important things to focus on. Like studying, and trying
not to remember that we were alone in the house which, theoretically, made it
possible for us to have sex. Both her parents were working, her older sister
had moved out last year, and her younger sister was at an after-school program.
The privacy raised a suggestion or two in my head about a different kind of
Biology we could study, but I knew she still wasn't ready.

So we studied. Like good girls. We read our textbooks and jotted notes and
chatted casually. Somehow or other we got onto the subject of relationships.
Weirdly, Lauren had never mentioned Alice's name once all year, and she showed
absolutely no indication that she cared at all how I felt about what had
happened. Maybe it was just too awkward to talk about. Either way, it was her
relationship or lack thereof she wanted to talk about.

"It's un-fucking-believable," she was saying. "You know he's been emailing me
from college? He actually wanted me to come visit him. He even suggested
something long distance. Fucking pathetic, isn't it? It's been months and still
he's all fucked up."

I gave a little snort of laughter, but her words made me feel bad. I'd
rationalized that it was perfectly natural to move on from Alice, but the news
that Lauren's boyfriend was still longing for her from another city, made me
feel just a little shallow. Still, it was an entirely different situation. I
didn't even have Alice's number, but if I did I'd certainly be happy to blow
her phone up and beg for her back. There's no way I would've gotten over her so
quickly if we still had contact. Besides, I'm sure Lauren never asked if she
could kill her boyfriend.

But none of that was relevant to the conversation. Lauren didn't want to hear
about Alice, and I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, so I just smiled and
said: "I guess you're a tough girl to get over."

It was a compliment, but she only grunted without looking up at me. We were
sitting on her bed—her bed!—and Lauren was sitting against the headboard with
her knees up and her notebook against her thighs. But she was wearing pants and
there was little point trying to peek. Alice used to sit like that too, only
Alice had often worn skirts. Quite a slutty creature, my Alice.

But Alice was gone, so I pushed her out of my mind and focused on Lauren. "Are
you gonna give him another chance?" I asked, mostly out of politeness. I knew
she wouldn't.

But she surprised me with a reluctant shrug. "I don't know," I said. "I miss
him a little. I mean, he was one of my best friends, you know? I'm just not
sure if I even like—him—anymore."

She tripped over the word 'him,' as if maybe she wanted to say 'guys' instead
but didn't have the guts. She was staring down at her notebook, blushing,
ashamed of even saying that much. And since encouraging Lauren out of her
closet was one of the first prerequisites of us dating, I decided to give it a
shot. I'd been determined to wait as long as I had to, but a mild prod or two
couldn't hurt.

"Maybe he's not your type," I suggested.

Lauren frowned. "He's every other girl's type."

"Not mine."

She snorted, and remained focused on her notebook, not looking at me. I waited
for a reply, but she remained stubbornly silent. I was disappointed. I'd been
hoping to bring the topic around to where she could admit that she wasn't into
guys, but she'd shelled up.

I lowered my eyes to my own notebook, frowning. I mean, what was the big deal?
How long did she expect to ignore the tension between us? It was great to have
her as a friend, but I couldn't help feeling we were missing out on something
better, so I decided to take a chance. I didn't want to pressure her, but at
this point it was becoming pretty clear that if I wanted to get laid within the
current century, I was going to have to actually put myself out there.

So I pushed my notebook off my lap with a huffy flourish and said: "Lauren—"

And there I broke off, no clue what I was going to say. She looked up with a
frown.

"What?"

"Um," I said. I was beginning to realize that this was a bad idea, but I pushed
on. "It's just… I mean, this is stupid."

"Math?"

"No, this," I said with emphasis, gesturing with my hands at the space between
us. "Us."

Her eyes flickered away and she didn't reply. I didn't know if that was a good
sign, but it wasn't outright anger and denial, so I went on.

"Look," I said. "We both remember what happened at La Push. I know you liked
it. I did, too. It was amazing. And at prom, you…"

I trailed off, my face flaming. Neither of us had ever mentioned either of
those nights, and I didn't know if I was crossing a line by reminding her. But
it seemed okay. She still didn't reply, but her face had gone pensive and she
seemed willing to let me continue. So I swallowed my anxiety and made one last
attempt to get my feelings out there.

"All I'm saying," I said, "is that I like you. I mean, you know I'm gay. So if
you liked me back, I mean…Maybe we could… I don't know. You know?"

It wasn't quite like how I used to fantasize, but a slow smile had bloomed on
Lauren's face as I stuttered my confession. She looked away and tried to get
rid of the smile, but it seemed to be stuck there. Finally she gave a snort and
shrugged.

"Yeah, well," she said. "I don't like girls."

But rather than feel crushed, I was encouraged; the way she said it was
slightly flirty, as if she wanted me to contradict her. The fact that she could
even mention liking girls without flying into a rage of denial was big
progress. So I blushed and let a slightly cocky smirk appear on my lips.

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure."

"Not even me?"

She gave me a skeptical look across the bed. "You?"

I shrugged coyly, tingling under her eyes. "Yeah, me," I said modestly. "I
mean, I'm kind of cute, right?"

"I don't know," she blurted playfully. "How the fuck would I know?"

"Well, we could find out," I suggested with a definite twinkle in my eyes.

She immediately went suspicious, but she was still smiling. "How?"

I shrugged a shoulder. My face hurt from smiling so much and the whole
afternoon was beginning to feel more and more like one of my fantasies. "We
could try an experiment," I offered.

She smirked and snorted. "Forget it," she said. "You wanna fuck, go fuck
someone else."

"I didn't mean sex, you idiot," I said, then I put my books down on the bed and
crawled over. "Look, just hold still, okay?"

"Wait, what are you—"

She had panicked and put her hands on the bed to push back with her palms. But
before she did, I reached and placed one of my hands over hers.

That's all I did, just touched her hand. She froze, every muscle in her body
going ridged, and I watched the excitement sweep over her face. Her lips were
parted slightly and her eyes flew to mine. I smiled and caressed her hand.
Tingles were racing up my arm. Her hand was warm and fine-boned. For a few
seconds we simply looked into each other's eyes as I held her hand, caressing
it lightly with the ball of my thumb, and finally I said:

"How does that feel?"

My voice snapped her out of it. Rattled and taken off-guard, she looked away
and jerked her hand back gently. "It feels fucking weird," she said. "Jeez."

She had regressed a little into her old denial, but this was the closest I'd
ever been to her, and I didn't want to stop. I wanted her to admit she liked me
and admit she wanted to be with me. But not only because I liked her. It hurt
to see her suppress herself like this, and really, I just wanted her to smile.

I was sitting right beside her on the bed, and she had drawn her knees up and
wrapped her arms around them. She looked almost timid, as if she was afraid of
me and hoping I'd go away. But she hadn't moved and I could tell she was
excited at how close I was. So I tilted my head and smirked playfully.

"We could try something else," I suggested.

She gave me a sideway glance and snorted. "Fuck that."

This only made me smile wider. "Why not?" I said, trying not to be mocking. "I
mean, it's not like you've never kissed a girl before."

She gave me a feeble glare. "Fuck you," she said, but quietly and without any
real force. Her icy blue eyes were big and vulnerable, and I knew she wanted me
to keep going, so I did.

"Why can't you just admit you liked it, Lauren?" I said, keeping my voice
breezy. "I mean, what's the big deal?"

"It's not a big deal," she said. "I just didn't like it."

I would've been offended if I didn't know she was lying. So I smirked and said:
"Yeah right. Face it, Lauren. You kissed a girl and you liked it more than Katy
Perry."

I giggled at my own joke, but she only looked at me dryly. Not a Katy Perry
fan, then. Still, it had alleviated a lot of the tension, and I went on more
excitedly.

"Come on," I said. "Let's try it."

She looked at me. I could see the slowly growing curiosity in her face. "Try
what?" she asked.

"A kiss," I said, and it was truly the only thing on my mind. Just a kiss, one
little kiss. That's all I wanted, and if I could get that, I would be very
happy.

A reluctant smile moved her mouth, but she maintained her denial, however
flimsy it was. "No way," she said. "Why would I wanna kiss you?"

I flickered my eyes over her lips deliberately. They were pink and she wore
gloss. I hoped mine were as pretty. "Because," I said, lifting my eyes to hers.
"It'll be fun."

She swallowed visibly. "I don't want to," she said, but even as she said it,
she was leaning toward me.

Very slowly, her eyes flickering from mine to my lips. I said nothing, my whole
face burning as her lips approached. I could hear nothing but a humming in my
ears and the wind gusting outside her bedroom window. It wouldn't be our first
kiss, but it felt like it would be. I had an insane urge to close the distance
and capture her lips myself, but I didn't. It seemed important that it was her
who initiated, so I waited, breathless, waiting as her lips came closer and
closer, and then—

The front door open and closed.

Someone was home.

"Fuck," Lauren gasped, twisting away from me. "It's my mom."

I felt a bitter flush of disappointment, but Lauren must've felt something even
worse. Tears sprang to her eyes and suddenly she balled a fist and pounded her
textbooks in almost hysterical frustration.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Each fuck was punctuated by a thump, and the vehemence of her reaction managed
to startle away my own disappointment. It sucked that we were interrupted,
sure, but Lauren was acting like it was the lesbian police at the door coming
to arrest her. But maybe it made sense. Obviously big emotions had been
building inside her leading up to the kiss, and having them interrupted like
that would naturally tick her off.

I was about to ask if she was alright, but she spoke first.

"Quick, sit over there," she said, nodding frantically at the other side of the
bed.

"Why?" I asked, but I was already moving, and before Lauren could explain why,
her bedroom door opened and a woman I assumed to be her mom popped in.

I was surprised. Her mom was almost a total opposite of mine. Where my mom was
a robust brunette with a broad and caring face, this mom was thin, blonde,
well-dressed, and visibly wearing too much hairspray, all of which combined to
give her an air of artificialness. She looked more like an aunt than a mother,
although there was a pretty strong resemblance to Lauren. Lauren's hair was
straighter and more lustrous, and her face was sharper with better defined
features, but overall the woman looked like an older version of her daughter.

"Oh," she said, smiling pleasantly when she saw me on the bed. "Hi, I didn't
know Lauren had company." She looked at me puzzledly, as if trying to remember
my name. Obviously this was impossible since I'd never met the woman before and
after a second or two she seemed to come to the same conclusion. "Um, I don't
think I've ever seen you before, have I?"

"You haven't," I said, attempting to return the smile, although considering the
woman had just cock-blocked what could've been one of the most important kisses
of my life, she was lucky I didn't hop out the bed and slap her. "I'm Bella."

I'd thought it was polite to introduce myself, but I guess I was wrong. The
woman's face drained. A quick glance at Lauren revealed that Lauren's face had
drained, too. This of course made my own face drain as well, and I wondered
what the hell I'd done wrong.

"O-oh," the woman said, struggling to regain her composure. "Yes, I've heard
about you."

I almost smirked; I had something of a red letter around town, but it was
really difficult to be ashamed of it. After all, it's not like I was embraced
and accepted before I'd started acting like a slut. The only real difference
now was that I got to have sex a bunch of times. And if I could somehow snatch
Lauren out of her closet I might have a bunch more.

But obviously Lauren's mom had heard a few things about me and she was disposed
to be mildly prejudiced. She gave me a brief look and turned to her daughter.
"Well, I didn't mean to interrupt. Lauren, can I speak to you for a moment?"

The woman spun and exited the room without waiting for a reply. Lauren set down
her textbooks, slid off the bed, and trudged after her.

I watched her go and sighed. It was hard to believe that only a couple minutes
ago I'd almost kissed Lauren. A real kiss, with both of us sober and in control
of ourselves. A kiss that could've led to my highschool dream. I sighed again,
and started packing my books into my backpack. I had a feeling our study date
was over.

Lauren came back into the room as I rose from the bed and shrugged the backpack
onto my shoulder. She seemed subdued.

"Hey," she said. "You'd better go."

I wondered what her mom had said to her, but I just asked: "Is everything
okay?"

Lauren snorted bitterly. "Yeah," she said. "Mom just doesn't want me hanging
out with a dyke."

Her tone took me as off-guard as the word. Lauren hadn't said that word in a
long time, and suddenly I had a much clearer picture of where her homophobia
came from. I'd always had the impression that her mom wasn't the most accepting
woman around, but ejecting me from the house seemed remarkably theatric,
especially by today's tolerant standards.

Personally, I wasn't offended. There were very few things in the world I gave a
fuck about less than some random woman's opinion of me and my orientation. But
this was Lauren's orientation too, and the fact that her own mother was
homophobic enough to insist that she doesn't associate with a known lesbian,
pissed me off a great deal. So I gave a snort of disbelief and said:

"That's bullshit."

Lauren looked uneasy at this. I'd seen her swear at teachers before, but for
some reason she seemed afraid to say anything bad about her mother, and rather
than join me in trashing her, she just urged me toward the door. "I know," she
said. "Look, just get out of here, alright? We'll talk at school."

I was slightly hurt, but I didn't want to upset her, so I let her lead me to
the front door. She held it open and watched me sadly as I stepped out into the
wind.

My car was sitting on the curb, but I couldn't leave like this. It wasn't fair.
We'd been so close to something significant, something that would've made us
both so happy. Lauren was still holding the door, watching me, and she tried to
give me a smile. But it wasn't enough. I needed more reassurance than that. We
had almost kissed today, and I couldn't let her sweep that under her rug of
denial like she had done with our date at La Push, or the incident at prom, or
all the other little hints and signals that she was so desperate to ignore. The
wind was tossing my dark hair and I knew I had to say something, anything, so I
pushed the whipping locks away from my face and said:

"Lauren—"

It was just one word, but it seemed to be the exact thing Lauren needed to
hear; she closed the distance between us in one step and pressed her lips to
mine.

A sudden warmth engulfed my face, but the kiss only lasted a couple seconds.
Her lips were soft and warm, and when she pulled away she smiled, a smile that
turned into a smirk at my stunned expression. She tossed her chin and said:

"See you tomorrow."

I blinked and nodded dumbly. "Okay."

She eyed me coyly as she closed the door. It shut with a soft click and then I
was standing there on the porch with the wind blowing my hair. I licked my
lips; they tasted like cherry gloss.

Well. It had been a hectic afternoon, but the important thing was that Lauren
liked me. I didn't moonwalk back to my car, but I wanted to, and a goofy giggle
did escape me as I turned the key and drove away.

—

That day had been a major break through in our relationship, but for a while
nothing changed. At least not physically. Cheap sex was one of the more
important aspects of a relationship in my honest opinion, but in the days
following our "first" kiss, my prospective girlfriend seemed more concerned
with things like emotional intimacy and companionship. But those things were
nice too, so I really couldn't complain.

We hung out more and more at school, and if I'd thought Lauren was different
before, she was positively transformed now. The kiss seemed to have triggered
some kind of metamorphosis that mutated her overnight into a creature that
smiled and giggled all the time and made flirty remarks and blushed and giggled
some more. Despite the incident with her mother removing me from the premises,
she seemed much looser about the possibility of falling for a girl, and I found
that I really liked the new Lauren. She was cute.

Lauren had been befriending me for over a month by now, so I was well-ensconced
within her circle of friends. They tolerated me even if they didn't really like
me, and I hung out with them a few times after school. But mostly I liked being
alone with Lauren. And I think Lauren liked being alone with me.

Thing were slow and secretive, but I was happy, and I didn't rush her. The next
big jump in our relationship occurred the next weekend, when we went to the
movies together. Just us. Lauren had asked me, but she wasn't specific if it
was a date, and the question weighed on my mind all day. She wore tight
designer jeans and a baby-pink top that might've been brand new and very light
makeup, so it certainly seemed she considered it to be a date, even if only in
her head. For my part, I'd agonized over my outfit for a over half an hour, but
since Lauren didn't respond to the slutty stuff, I decided to go with baggy
black jeans, black boots, and a black t-shirt with a barbed wire print. I
completed the look with a little eyeliner and dash of dark lipstick, and I had
to admit; I did look kind of sexy.

The movie we saw was a horror movie that we talked the whole way through,
pretending not to be scared of anything and hoping the other didn't notice when
we jumped at the scary parts. We'd gone in the afternoon and it was still
daylight when it was over so we decided to go for a walk. We browsed a couple
shops, not buying anything, and by and by we ended up in the park.

It was a cold and blustery day. The clouds were thick and gray. The park was
empty and we strolled together down the lane, passing under a bridge between
two hills that arched over the path, and then we settled on the swingset in the
playground and swung idly as we talked about stuff. Thunder cracked in the
distance and Lauren looked up at the sky. I looked at Lauren.

"Hey, Lauren," I said. "Can I ask you something?"

"If you have to."

"I was just wondering. Is this a date?"

She smirked at me. "I don't know," she said. "Is it?"

I shrugged shyly. "It feels like it."

"It does, doesn't it?" She laughed and shook her head. "God, this is so fucked
up. I'm on a date with a girl."

I felt my heart glow to hear her admit it, but I didn't want her to be so
bothered about this same-sex stuff, so I said: "What's wrong with dating a
girl?"

"What do you think?" she said. "It's gross."

I looked down at the bark chips at my feet. I didn't like the feeling that she
was dating me in spite of my gender. Why couldn't she just like it and admit
that she likes it?

"Sorry," Lauren said. "I was just joking."

I shook my head to let her know it's no big deal. "It's alright," I said. "Do
you really think it's gross?"

She shrugged, but at least she seemed to take the question seriously. "Kind
of," she said. "I mean, it's not natural, you know?"

"So you're not gay?"

She hated that word and she shook her head as if to get it out her ears. "I
don't know," she snapped. "Why should I label myself?"

I watched her. She was holding both chains of the swing and pushing at the
ground with her sneakers to rock gently. To be honest, I didn't understand the
kind of person who hated labels. Insults suck, sure, but what's wrong with
labels? It's a bit egotistical, really. Do these people think that they're so
special they defy classification altogether? Or are their preferences so
exquisitely intricate that there are no words in the whole of human language
that could possibly communicate their subtle complexities? Personally, I like
the neatness of labels. I like when everything has a correct word.

I opened my mouth to try and frame some of this for Lauren, but before I could
speak, thunder cracked again. We both looked up and then Lauren sighed and
looked at me.

"Listen," she said. "Do you wanna know the truth about me?"

I felt a definite flicker of curiosity. "Of course," I said.

She sighed again and toed the ground. "The truth is, I always liked you," she
said. "You were the only person I ever really liked. Even back in middle school
when you had braces and your hair was all ugly. But you were a girl, and my
mom…"

I didn't interrupt. She gave me a slightly pained look and went on.

"I told my mom I liked you," she said. "At first she passed it off as nothing,
but after a while I started to talk about how boys suck and when I grow up I'm
gonna date girls. So mom took me aside and we had a talk. She told me that it
was wrong to like other girls and that it's disgusting and that I should stay
away from you and blah, blah, blah. I was only twelve, so I guess I believed
her. I mean, she was my mom. How was I supposed to know she was just a bitch?"

Lauren said the last part bitterly, looking at the ground. I felt a wave of
pity for her, but I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to talk bad about
her mom, but I wanted to make her feel better, so I smiled and said:

"I always liked you, too."

It did the trick. She turned to me with a smile.

"Seriously?"

I nodded, smiling brightly. She laughed.

"But why?" she grinned. "I was always so mean to you."

I gave a little shrug. "I don't know," I said. "I didn't mind when you teased
me, because it kind of felt like we were friends, too. I just liked being near
you."

This made her blush and she toed the ground a little more. "Yeah, well," she
said. "You're still a dyke."

I smiled. "What about you?"

"What about me?" she countered.

"Are you a dyke?"

"Fuck no."

"What are you then?"

"I don't know."

She was claming up again, but I wasn't going to let her escape. I wanted her to
be comfortable with who she is, and if we were going to be dating properly, I
think I had a right to know what her exact preferences were. "Have you ever
been attracted to other girls?" I asked. "Or just me?"

The question grabbed her attention. She didn't look happy to answer, but she
didn't refuse. "Not really," she said. "Just you."

"What about Jane?"

She gave me a sharp look. "What about her?"

"Didn't you guys hook up at prom?"

She frowned disgustedly. "No," she said. "Who said that?"

"No one," I said. "I just thought…"

But I let it trail off. I couldn't tell her that I thought I'd seen her flat on
her back in the back of Jane's car. It was possible that I was wrong, but I was
pretty sure they'd hooked up that night, and I was kind of surprised how
quickly and effectively she lied about it. I used to lie a lot myself, and I'd
always figures that made me a bad person, but maybe it was more natural than I
thought.

In any case, she was obviously still sensitive on the subject, and I didn't
want to push her too far. But Lauren frowned and reinforced her point.

"The only girl I liked is you," she said. "Alright?"

I smiled. I would've preferred it if she would just admit she liked girls in
general and me specifically, but I suppose it was flattering to be the one girl
she liked. She smiled back and suddenly the thunder cracked one more time. We
both looked up.

"I think it's going to—"

It started raining. It came down so heavy and so instantly that it chopped off
the rest of the sentence. But neither of us moved, we just sat there, swinging
idly, the rain slowly soaking our hair, our clothes. Watching each other, not
willing for the date to end. Finally she stood up.

"We should probably go," she said, loudly over the rain.

I nodded glumly. The date felt incomplete and we had come in separate cars so
now I wouldn't get a chance at a goodnight kiss. She looked down at me, but I
still didn't move. Her blonde hair had gone dark and she was blinking water out
of her eyes. I just sat there on the swing, clutching the chains, looking up at
her. I was shivering from the cold in my shirt and wet jeans, but I didn't want
to go home yet.

She looked out across the empty park and them back at me. She looked at my hand
where it was wrapped around the chain and after hesitating for a few seconds
she reached and covered it with her own. She caressed it, making tingles run up
my arm, and looked at me.

"Is this okay?" she asked.

I nodded at her, trying to communicate my desire for a kiss with my eyes. She
smiled, blushing under the rain, and then she cupped my cheek with her other
hand and leaned toward my face. Thunder rumbled in the distance but neither of
us noticed. I tilted my face up to hers and finally her lips fell on mine.

I made a moan that was lost in the sound of the rain. Water ran down our faces
and dripped from our hair. Her hand tightened over mine and I opened my mouth
so that she could deepen the kiss.

—

By the time I got home I was in the most cheerful mood I'd been in in a long
time. Lauren and I had been on an official date, we'd confessed our feelings,
and we'd expressed those feelings by making out in the rain as if we were in a
movie. No sex, of course, but I suppose that was one of the drawbacks of dating
a regular girl. They rarely put out on the first date, and never in public.
That had been one of the great things about Alice. I'm sure Alice would've had
no principles against going down on me in the middle of the park.

Mom was a little critical of how long I'd been in the rain, but as I explained
the scenario to her over dinner she was forced to concede that such a romantic
moment may've been worth the risk of catching a cold. She listened to the recap
of my date almost as eagerly as I told it, and she seemed happy I was happy. It
was a great feeling to talk about a date with mom without omitting details that
would've called into question my virtue or sanity, details like blood letting
or group sex. Lauren and I weren't ready for those kinds of things, and the
blood letting would be fairly redundant with a regular human.

It was a wonderful date, and I couldn't wait to get to bed so I could
compensate for the lack of sex. So I said goodnight to mom, brushed my teeth,
and went into my room. But here I faced a conflict. Usually I took care of my
sluttier tendencies with the aid of Alice's prom pictures, but that didn't seem
right tonight. I sat at my computer, flipping through the gallery, and while it
may have been perfectly okay to keep the pictures as mementoes—my prom, after
all—it was really difficult to justify dating one girl and fantasizing about
another. In fact, maybe even keeping the pictures was wrong. Maybe it was time
to move on properly, time to accept the fact that my relationship with Alice
was wrong, and stop idolizing it. I had a new girlfriend now, a real one, a
girlfriend that didn't want to drink my blood and kill me. I owed it to Lauren
to move on.

So I moved the mouse pointer over to the delete button. I'd cycled through to
the picture of Alice's underwear, and just looking at it was enough to make me
horny. But I knew what I had to do. Alice was gone. Alice had left and was
never coming back. So I clicked the delete button, let out the breath I was
holding, and went to bed.

Where I settled under the covers and snaked a hand into my shorts, breathing
quietly in the dark. I was thinking about my date with Lauren, and in trying to
arrive at an orgasm, I added a sex scene in the park. I kept it noble and
romantic, but that didn't really do anything for me, so I added two girls who'd
been walking by and wanted to join in. At first these girls were Angela and
Jessica, but Angela wasn't so sexy, and I never really liked Jessica, and soon
I'd swapped them out for Alice and Jane. Then I abandoned Jane altogether, and
it was just Alice and Lauren. But then I abandoned Lauren too and focused
solely on Alice, picturing her naked on the swingset, clutching the chains in
the rain and reeling backward with her legs in the air as I knelt at her pussy
and ate her out.

It was an impressive climax for such a random poorly crafted fantasy, and for a
while afterward I simply lay there in the dark, hating myself for being so
weak. Finally I just threw off the covers and turned the computer back on. I
tapped my foot impatiently and when it was booted up I restored all the
pictures from the recycle bin, shut down, and went back to bed.

I mean, fuck that. Alice was an important part of my life, and I'm not gonna
forget all about her just because I met someone else. I rolled onto my side and
blinked back tears. Alice was my soulmate, and soulmates don't change. There's
only one. No matter how far she ran away and no matter who I dated while she
was gone, there was only one person who had ever been and ever will be my
soulmate.

Alice.

Alice, Alice, Alice.

—

***** Chapter 26 *****
—

Chapter 26:

—

For a while after that day in the park I was still a little confused if Lauren
and I were actual girlfriends, but she cleared it up by making out with me
everyday after school at my place. We kept our relationship secret, even from
my mom, so I still had a doubt or two, but short of having some kind of
girlfriend agreement in writing, daily makeout sessions seemed certain enough.

The only real complaint I had was that there were a lot of things that Lauren
just wasn't ready for. Sex, for instance. We hadn't talked about it and I
hadn't made any overt moves, but Lauren wasn't exactly Miss Subtlety, and I'm
sure if she wanted to have sex she would've given me some kind of signal by
now, like taking off her panties and handing them to me. But I'm an
understanding girlfriend and I've always been ready to accept the
eccentricities and limitations of my partner—as evidenced by my blind
submission to my ex-girlfriend's need to drink my blood.

So I didn't push her, or even mention it. I could understand how—without being
stumbling drunk—it would be a big step for her. I could understand all of her
other anxieties, too. I could understand why she wanted to keep our
relationship secret, I could understand why she didn't want to talk about her
orientation, I could even understand why she was completely determined to avoid
the fact that I'm a girl. I was willing to move at her own pace, and despite
the fact that I was borderline nympho, I was willing to wait for sex as well,
since obviously I wanted it to be good for her too.

But as the days began to pile up I found myself becoming a little frustrated.
We'd been 'dating' for over a month now, and we were both seniors. Not quite
eighteen years old, but certainly old enough to make our own decisions with our
legs open. I began rationalize to myself maybe all my closeted girlfriend
needed was a little encouragement, a subtle sign or signal that I'd really like
to get into her pants.

And so it was on a rainy Wednesday afternoon when I first copped a feel.

It didn't turn out so well, but I'd been hopeful. Today seemed different, a
perfect day to make a try. Usually we did our homework first, but today we were
making out before anything. And unlike most days, we were laying down—with me
on top, no less—and Lauren truly seemed to be enjoying herself. I'd had a ton
of kiss-practice with Alice, and despite my natural modesty, I had to admit I
had mad skillz. Lauren was rather passive in physical situations—as if it might
make her less gay if she was only a taker not a giver—and this gave me great
opportunity to flaunt my technique.

I mimicked all the things Alice used to do to me to drive me crazy and it
appeared to have a similar effect on Lauren. I cupped her face, stroked her
hair, pulled at her head gently the way chicks dig. My tongue work was
deliberate and precise and rewarded with some very gratifying moans of
excitement. Lauren loved it, and all in all, I felt that conditions were in
favor of making a grab.

So I lowered my hand to her waist and caressed a little. Soon the material
slipped up and it was her skin I was caressing. Then I let my hand snake higher
up her top to stroke her side. She squirmed slightly, but I figured this to be
encouragement, and finally I seized her left bracup and—

She made a muffled protest and pushed me away. I blinked down at her and she
looked a little upset, as if I'd let her down in some way.

"What are you doing?" she asked, as if legitimately curious about what I'd been
doing.

I withdrew my hand from her top and swallowed to calm my breathing. "Um," I
said. My mind felt like a thick sludge of hormones and my hand was tingling
from what it had touched. Nothing better than the truth occurred to me so I
just said it. "Making a move?"

"Jeez," she said, and pushed me directly off her. I almost cried into the
pillow from frustration. Lauren swung her legs over the side of the bed and
straightened up her top. "We've only been dating for a month, you know," she
said over her shoulder.

"Yeah, but…"

"But what?"

I sat up and shrugged sheepishly. We were both flushed and breathing heavy.
"Well, it's not like we haven't done it," I said. "I mean, don't you want to
fool around a little?"

Probably not what she wanted to hear. She frowned, not looking at me. "I'm not
ready for that shit," she muttered.

I sighed and realized that I'd been lying to myself about being understanding;
I wasn't. But I could pretend to be, so I suppressed the frustration out of my
voice, and said: "Sorry."

She looked at me, and she must've felt sorry at how horny I looked, because she
blew out a breath and tried to give me a smile. "Me too," she said. "Look, it's
not your fault. Let's just go slow, alright? Maybe this is all natural to you,
but to me it's still pretty fucking weird. You know?"

Actually, I knew absolutely nothing about what she was going through, but I
nodded. "Okay."

She smiled, more genuinely. Her mouth was swollen and pink, and she was still
flushed, and her shiny blonde hair was a little mussed. It would've been so
great to fuck her.

"Thanks," she said. Then she went a little coy and added: "And thanks for…"

"For what?"

She smirked, rolled her eyes, and shrugged. "For wanting to," she said.

I felt a tiny glow of accomplishment. The move had failed, but the signal was
loud and clear. It was progress, and maybe I should've left it at that, but I
felt I should try and take advantage of her mood, so I smirked and said: "Can
we make out a little more?"

It seemed like an innocent request to me, but she was already fishing her
textbooks out her backpack. "No," she said, but grinning. "We have to study."

"Aww, come on," I whined playfully, wrapping my arms around her from behind.
"Please, baby?"

It came out completely natural, but I felt something flicker inside me as the
word came out. Baby was Alice's word for me. Now I just used it for Lauren? I'm
sure there were some strange psychological quirks at play in the impulse, but
at the moment it only felt cute.

Lauren didn't seem to agree. She narrowed her icy blue eyes and said: "Baby?"

"Yeah, baby," I said. "Why?"

"I'm nobody's baby."

But she was being playful, so I only smirked and leaned to her lips, and said:
"You're my baby…"

I kissed her. She let me, and then she even responded. She laid back on the
mattress, and soon my meticulous tongue work had her moaning again, and after a
while I was carried away enough to make another grab.

But it seemed she wasn't ready yet now, either, and she pushed me away. "Jeez!"
she grinned, sitting up and straightening her top. "You're worse than a fucking
guy!"

I should've been offended, but I was kind of proud. "I have my needs, baby," I
smirked, and went to kiss her again.

But she pushed me back, trying not to grin. "Yeah, well, I have an English
paper that's due tomorrow and I need your fucking help so keep it in your
fucking pants and shut the fuck up with that baby shit before I punch you in
the fucking mouth. Got it?"

No girl likes to be threatened with violence, but I figured I could take her,
so I smirked and said: "Okay, baby."

At first she seem shocked at the sheer affrontry of this. Then she grabbed my
face and kissed me.

Well. I guess cocky insolence turned her on.

I laid her back against the bed and showed her who's boss with my tongue. She
giggled into my mouth, and since she seemed to like a dominant Bella, I took a
risk and made one last grab for the coveted left tit. But once again I was
thwarted. She pushed me away, giggling, and actually scrambled off the bed.

"That's it," she said, grabbing up her backpack. "I'm leaving."

She said it in a huffy tone, but she was grinning and she'd left her textbooks
on the bed. Still, I obliged her attempt at indignation with a little pleading.

"I was only playing!" I said, which was at least half true. "Come on, come
back. I won't touch you ever again, I promise."

She smirked and plonked down her backpack. "Well, not never again," she said,
settling back on the bed. "I mean, one day…"

"Soon?" I asked teasingly.

"We'll see," she said, and then she noticed something on the bedside table next
to my alarm clock. She picked it up and draped it across her hand; it was my
collar. The black leather one Alice had bought me on our first real date.

"Hey," she said, looking it over. "How come you don't wear this thing anymore?"

I shrugged. It was laying on the nighttable because that's where I used to put
it when I took it off at night for Alice to feed from me. But Lauren didn't
know that. She probably didn't even know it was Alice who had bought it for me.
Only Angela had ever shown any curiosity about it before, and thankfully it
seemed she hadn't gossiped about everything I told her at prom.

Lauren was waiting for an answer, but I couldn't tell her that there was no
need to wear it anymore because I didn't have any bite marks to conceal, so I
just shrugged. "I don't know," I said. "Got sick of it, I guess."

That didn't explain why I kept it out and glanced at it almost longingly at
least twenty times a day, but it was as good an explanation as any. At least it
was to me – Lauren didn't seem to agree.

"Why?" she questioned as if I was stupid. "It looked awesome on you."

I felt a weird flicker in my heart. "You think?"

"Totally," she said, nodding.

It was nice that she was comfortable enough to admit something looked cute on
me. Such a thing would've been unthinkable to non-girlfriend Lauren. I took the
collar out of her hand and looked at it. I'd been reluctant to wear it again,
because of what it represented. If I was going to get over Alice properly, it
would probably be best not to be reminded of her symbolic ownership of me every
time I looked in the mirror.

But maybe Lauren was right. I mean, it always did look cute on me. And I did
love black. Besides, it's not like I wanted to completely forget Alice. And if
Lauren was cool with it and thought it was hot on me, then there was really no
reason not to. So I looked up at Lauren and shrugged again.

"Do you want me to wear it?" I asked.

Somehow I felt like I needed her permission, even though she had no idea why I
was hesitating. But she only snorted. "I'm not telling you what wear," she
said. "I'm not that kind of girlfriend."

Alice had always told me what to wear—and what to take off—and honestly I'd
always found it quite helpful. But still, I couldn't wear the collar without
Lauren's permission, and for some reason I really wanted to wear it.

"But you think it's cute on me?" I insisted.

She shrugged. She was already settling back against the headboard with her
notebook on her lap. "Sure," she said. "Although it wouldn't kill you to wear a
bit of color every now and then."

I hesitated with the collar in my hand until Lauren noticed and rolled her
eyes.

"Here, give it here," she demanded, and snatched the collar out of my hand. I
wasn't even sure what she was going to do with it until she leaned to my neck
and started putting it on. Her face was right next to mine and I felt very
embarrassed for some reason. "There," she said, sitting back. "Alright?"

I touched the collar with my fingertips, my face heating at the familiar
tightness around my throat. I smiled at Lauren, trying not to let on how
affected I was.

"Thanks," I said.

—

I wore the collar the next day at school. Angela gave me an odd glance, but I
guess our last conversation on the subject had been too awkward for her to
mention anything.

I wore for it the rest of the week. I put it on in the morning and only took it
off before bed. Pretty soon I was beginning to realize that wearing it was a
bad idea. It bought back too many memories. I'd find myself sitting in class,
touching the collar with my fingertips, adjusting it against my throat as if it
didn't quite fit properly. Sometimes I'd walk past the bathroom mirror at home
and stop to stare for a second, remembering the bite marks, the pain of her
fangs, the sweet addiction of her venom. I still kept pictures of her in my
locker and I browsed the prom gallery almost every night. I'd been telling
myself that it was only because I wanted to remember her, but after I started
wearing the collar again, I began to realize that I missed her, too. I missed
her a lot.

But I had Lauren, and Lauren was great. The secrecy sucked, but it was kind of
cute, too, the way she'd get all flustered when Angela would tease us. I knew
she didn't really care about what people in school would think. After all, we
were seniors now, and most of us were mature enough to be accepting even of me.
Lauren had nothing to fear from our peers – what she was afraid of was her mom.

Or maybe fear was the wrong word. Lauren really wasn't the kind of girl who was
afraid of anything, but she knew that if her mom found out she was gay, it was
going to change and likely ruin her whole life. And, understandably, she didn't
want to deal with that. So I played along, and pretended in front of other
people that we were just friends, even though Angela knew and most of our other
friends suspected. Lauren still wasn't comfortable talking about it, but I
managed to wheedle her into a brief discussion on the subject one Saturday
afternoon while we waited for the movie to start.

"So when you gonna tell her?"

"Tell her what?"

"That you're gay."

Poor choice of words. She snorted. "I'm not gay."

I rolled my eyes. The theater was mostly empty and some old rock music was
playing from the speakers. We had about ten minutes till the previews started,
and I didn't want to waste the topic, so I didn't bother slapping her for being
such a pedantic bitch about labels.

"When are you going to tell her about me, then?" I rephrased.

"I don't know," she said, sullenly munching popcorn. "I mean, why do I even
have to? She's only going to be a bitch about it."

"But if she knew, we wouldn't have to sneak around."

"So? What's wrong with privacy? I wouldn't even kiss a guy in public, why would
I kiss you?"

I gave her a puppy-face. "Because I like you and it would mean a lot to me?"

She rolled her eyes, trying not to smile. "Forget it," she said. "In fact,
let's get that straight right now. I'm never kissing a girl in public. Ever.
That includes you. You got that?"

I sighed, but honestly, I guess I wasn't too disappointed. I wasn't huge on
public affection, either. Mostly I just wanted to know if she was serious about
me.

Lauren noticed my wounded expression and rolled her eyes again. "Look, I'll
tell her after graduation, when we're away at college," she said. "That way it
doesn't matter what she says."

"That's like a year away."

"Well, yeah," she said. She looked vulnerable for a second and tried to cover
it up with a smile. "But we'll still be together, right?"

Somehow the insecurity had flipped, and now it was her seeking reassurance. A
surreal sensation swept over me and for a second I couldn't actually believe
the conversation I was having. Lauren actually wanted to be with me post-
graduation? At college?

It was funny. I'd had threesomes, I'd been raped, and I'd been bitten by
vampires, and yet none of it seemed as odd as Lauren, my first and only real
crush, actually wanting to be with me in a serious long-term relationship.
Realistically, I knew that highschool relationships never last, but in that
moment it felt like maybe we would.

"Of course," I said, managing not to stutter. "I mean, do you think we'll even
be at the same college?"

I actually turned in the chair to ask the question, and I was eager to keep
talking about our long-term possibilities, but before she could answer the
lights in the theater dimmed and the preshow started. It would've been
acceptable to keep whispering, but the topic seemed to be too serious for my
timid girlfriend and she seemed ready for a topic change. She motioned with a
piece of popcorn at the movie screen.

"I seen that movie," she said. "It fucking sucks."

I sighed and slumped back against my chair.

I hate it when the movie's early.

The movie sucked, as movies often do, and afterwards we went for a walk and
somehow we ended up at Angela's store. Lauren wanted to say hi and bitch about
the movie, which was fun, I guess, although I would've preferred to find some
quiet place to make out. It had been two weeks since my last attempt at a grab,
and I felt that Lauren and I were due to revisit the breast-policy of our
relationship. It was getting a little frustrating by now, from both sides. My
breasts were beginning to feel like a waste of space and sometimes I felt like
screaming at her to just grab a handful already.

So I trailed along behind her as she browsed the store, chatting to Angela.
Every now and then she'd turn to me to get an opinion on a top or skirt that
she didn't even plan on buying or for backup on whatever she was arguing about.
Dimly, the whole thing reminded me of dates with Alice, the way I used to
follow her around the mall, just grateful to be near her. Only Alice would've
fucked me in the change room by now. In fact, she would've fucked me in the
theater. And again when we got home. And again that night. And again in the
morning. Maybe that's all our relationship had been; one long fuck.

I was touching my collar absently mindedly when Lauren turned to me with a top
against her torso. Blue, sparkly, spaghetti straps, a butterfly print on the
tummy. "What do you think?" she asked.

Angela was making a gagging gesture behind her back, but I smiled. In truth, it
was a little juvenile, but telling her that wasn't likely to assist my endeavor
of getting to second base.

"It's cute," I said. "Suits you."

Lauren wasn't convinced. "Yeah?"

"Sure," I said. "I love you in blue."

Maybe that was a little too relationship-y. Lauren got uncomfortable and Angela
giggled.

"Jeez," she said. "Why don't you two just get a room already?"

"Fuck you," Lauren snarled.

Angela wasn't intimidated. She cocked a thumb toward the change room. "You
know, if it's an emergency, I could let you use the change rooms," she said.
"Just don't make a habit of it."

Lauren glared at her, but she was blushing a little brightly to look fierce.
"Bella and I are just friends," she said. "When the fuck are you gonna that get
through your head?"

Angela rolled her eyes at me and I tried not to smirk. Lauren wasn't sure if
her evasion was successful, but she seemed to figure a swift exit was in order,
so she flapped the top and said: "I'm gonna go try this shit on."

"Do you want Bella to come with you?" Angela called after her, but Lauren only
glared over her shoulder and barged into the change room.

Angela turned back to me, smiling, hands on her hips.

"Boy," she said. "That chick's got issues. Why can't she just admit it? I mean,
doesn't it bother you?"

To be honest, it actually didn't really bother me that much, and technically I
think I was supposed to be pretending too, so I just shrugged non-committally
and developed an interest in a pair of jeans that were thirty-percent off. They
were skinny jeans, dark blue, and it occurred to me that they'd look great on
Alice and Alice's ass. But I quickly pushed that thought away.

"You know, most of the girls at school wouldn't even care," Angela was saying.
"We're not in middle school anymore, you know."

I glanced toward the change room and lowered my voice just in case. There
seemed to be no point pretending with Angela. She knew and she was cool about
it. So I shrugged again. "It's not just that," I said. "It's her mom."

It was the first time I'd acknowledged our relationship, and she sidled forward
suddenly, eager for gossip. "What about her mom?" she asked.

"She's a pretty bad homophobe," I mentioned tactfully.

Angela seemed surprised. "Seriously? I met her a couple a times, she seemed
awesome. When me and Lauren had that sleepover ages ago she let us have the
music as loud as we wanted."

I shrugged again, still pretending to examine the jeans. "She threw me out the
house a couple months ago," I said. "Politely, but you know…"

Angela chuckled once. Apparently gay persecution was amusing to her. "Wow," she
said. "So Lauren's afraid of her mom finding out?"

"Basically."

Angela nodded thoughtfully and began browsing a nearby rack of tops. She seemed
to have forgotten that it was her own stock.

"But is she actually gay, though?" she asked suddenly. "Or just, you know, bi?"

It was a good question. Personally, I had no idea, and honestly I didn't think
Lauren had a clue either. So I just shrugged. "She doesn't like to talk about
it," I said.

"But what do you think?" she insisted.

I sighed and abandoned my pretend examination of the jeans. I'd prefer talking
about it with Lauren herself, but maybe Angela could help me figure something
out. "I don't know," I said. "She doesn't like guys, but she doesn't really
like girls either. Just me, she says."

Angela snorted. "Yeah, right."

"What do you mean?"

Angela smirked and glanced toward the change room, just to make sure Lauren
wasn't on her way back. She turned back to me and leaned forward slightly. "You
remember that sleepover I mentioned?"

"Yeah."

"Lauren kissed me while I was asleep. Or while she thought I was asleep. I
never told her I was awake."

A slow smile spread across my face. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," she said, chuckling. "Freaked me the fuck out. I avoided her for like a
week afterwards. But trust me; it's not just you. She likes chicks."

I found this very encouraging. Not only would it be great if Lauren and I had
this in common, but I'd done enough research on the internet to know that bi-
chicks generally end up with guys and straight-chicks eventually remember
they're straight. They say love is supposed to conquer all, but statistically
speaking, it's usually the lesbian who gets defeated.

I opened my mouth to find out if Angela knew any more examples of Lauren liking
other girls—an orgy among the cheersquad would be good evidence—but before I
could Lauren came back from the change room. She was wearing the sparkly blue
top and she seemed to be happy with it.

"What do you think?" she said. "Pretty fucking hot, right?"

Angela looked at her without interest. "Meh," she said.

Lauren scowled, but I intervened before she could pounce.

"I think you look awesome," I said.

Which she did, although she would benefit from losing the bra. The top was V-
cut and it was supposed to show the area between her breasts. It would've shown
nice cleavage too, but Lauren had no cleavage, not even with a push-up. Small
tits. Alice had always had amazing tits; plump, but not absurd.

Still, Lauren did look very cute, and she seemed flattered by the compliment.
Angela just rolled her eyes.

"Gee," she said. "What a surprise."

Lauren turn another scowl on her, but again I cut in.

"Are you gonna get it?" I asked.

"I don't know, it's kind of expensive."

She might've been fishing for a discount, but Angela only folded her arms and
smirked, waiting for Lauren to start pleading. But I couldn't let my girlfriend
do that, so I said:

"I can give you money."

Angela spun on me. "Oh, come on!" she blurted. "You're not even gonna make her
work for it? Even her old boyfriend had more self-respect than that!"

Lauren snorted awkwardly, pretending not to understand the correlation between
me and a boyfriend. "What the fuck's wrong with two friends borrowing money?"

I bit my lip to keep from grinning. Poor Lauren. The darling was so determined
not to be gay. It was sad, really.

Angela looked at her in disbelief. "Borrow?" she said. "Really?"

"Yeah, what?"

Angela seemed completely flummoxed at the baldness of this. She looked at me,
but I only shrugged. If Lauren's denial was frustrating for her, imagine what
it was like for me. Lauren simply stood there in her sparkly top, pretending to
be straight.

"Oookay," Angela said. "Well, I'm gonna leave you two friends alone for a
second. If any one needs me I'll be over there LOL-ing."

Angela gave Lauren one last look, shook her head, and wandered away to the cash
register. Lauren glared at her back. I peeked at her ass. Lauren turned the
glare on me.

"She knows, doesn't she?"

"I think so," I admitted.

"Fuck," Lauren muttered. "Did you fucking say something?"

"Of course not. She always knew."

"Bullshit."

"It's true. She even suspected last year that you liked me."

"I don't fucking like you," she said automatically. Then she realized what she
said and rolled her eyes at herself. I barely managed not to giggle.

"There's no one around," I said. "You don't have to pretend."

She sighed and waved a hand feebly. "I know," she said. "I just…"

We were in an isolated corner of the shop, hidden from view by the discount
rack, so I took the chance of giving her a hug. She stiffened, and I could feel
her head swivel around in panic, but she didn't push me away.

"Listen," I said. "I know it's hard for you, okay? And I'm not rushing you. But
Angela's cool. She's not gonna say anything, so why can't we just be
ourselves?"

She shrugged out of the embrace. She wasn't angry, but she still didn't seem
willing to deal with it, so I smirked.

"Please, baby?" I wheedled. She gave me a sharp look, but trying not to smile.
She claimed to hate the name, but I knew she liked it, and it gave me a thrill
to use it. It reminded me of Alice. "Come on," I said, putting my hands at her
waist. "Let me kiss you in public just once."

She put her hands on mine, but didn't push them away. "Why?"

"Because," I said. "I need to know if you really like me."

It was a trick I'd learnt from Alice. The easiest way to make your girlfriend
do something she doesn't want to do is to turn it into a demonstration of
commitment.

It worked. Lauren rolled her eyes and gave a little huff.

"Fucking fine," she said. "Hurry up."

I smiled. It would be our first kiss in public—albeit completely in private—and
I thought it was big progress. But I didn't want to upset her, so I kept it
mild. Just a soft press of my lips, just so she knew I liked her. She responded
with a soft moan, pressing our lips a little firmer, and—

Angela burst out from behind the discount rack where she'd been peeking. Lauren
broke away from me wildly.

"I knew it!" Angela announced. "You are so totally lezbo!"

Lauren opened her mouth deny everything, but she seemed to wilt in the glow of
Angela's triumph. Finally she just snorted and flapped a hand at Angela.

"Aww, fuck you," she said. Then she grabbed my hand and started dragging me
toward the change room. "Come on, let's get out of here. And you're buying me
this fucking top. I'll pay you back later."

—

Lauren loosened up a lot after Angela found out, but she still wasn't ready to
update her facebook status to include that she was a total dyke. She wasn't
even ready to come out at school. Angela's teasing acceptance was very
encouraging, but mostly Lauren was worried about her relationship status
somehow circling back to mom. Small town and all.

On the bright side, I now had full breast-privileges during make out sessions,
and of course I was very quick to allow my girlfriend the same benefits. I'd
been hoping that the extra stimulation might aid my efforts to remove her
pants, but unfortunately, she wasn't particularly sensitive in the chest area,
so mostly it was only me who got hot and bothered. But it wasn't all hopeless.
Lauren quickly developed a special regard for my breasts, and on one memorable
afternoon she actually abandoned my mouth and wrapped her lips around my
nipple, squeezing my boob out of it's bracup and moaning as if it tasted good.
I almost orgasmed from that alone, but it only lasted for a few seconds before
she dribbled to a stop and started apologizing. She wasn't ready yet, she
explained. I was frustrated enough to smack her over the head with a pillow,
but I told her it was okay; I could wait as long as she needed.

Lauren's reluctance to go all the way was a puzzle to me, but I thought I was
beginning to figure it out. She had grown up with the understanding that a girl
really oughtn't fuck other girls, and somehow this principle had stuck with
her. She wanted to, she really did. But she couldn't. Not yet, at least. It
would take a bit more time, but it was fairly unavoidable at this point. Slowly
but surely she was losing faith in her mother's morals and soon they'd be gone
completely. It was already happening. Her mom had forbidden her to associate
with me and yet here she was associating with my tits. A more oral association
was inevitable.

So I could wait. It wasn't that hard. I'd bought another vibrator off the
internet, and while I technically wasn't quite eighteen years old, I figured I
was mature enough to make a personal purchase or two. I'd staked out the
mailbox for three days waiting for it to arrive so mom wouldn't know, but it
was really nothing to feel guilty about. Sex toys are perfectly natural. For
lesbians they're almost mandatory. So I didn't tell her about it, and I hoped
it wouldn't be on the credit card bill.

By the end of the week Lauren was starting to get a little paranoid about
Angela. Angela liked to joke, but she respected our need for secrecy, and she
didn't joke in front of other people. Still, Lauren liked to bitch about things
– and usually she preferred bitching to me.

Lauren and I had a routine in the mornings. We'd need up in the parking lot,
pretending we were just friends, and then I'd walk her to her locker before
heading off to my own locker which was on the other side of the building. Then
we'd meet up in homeroom. It was a good arrangement, because I still had
pictures of Alice tacked to the inside of my locker door, and somehow I didn't
think Lauren would be too happy about that.

Still, if Lauren was allowed to keep our relationship secret, I figured I was
allowed to keep a couple pictures of Alice secret. It was no big deal, really.
I just liked to look at them in the morning. Stare at them. Wonder if she was
okay. If she missed me. Then I'd sigh, kiss two fingertips, and touch them to
the prettiest picture.

But on Friday morning I must've been staring too long, because I was still
staring when Lauren came storming up. I startled and tried to quickly grab the
books I needed.

"Fucking Angela's been making jokes all morning," Lauren was saying. "She
better keep her mouth shut. And what's taking you so long anyway? You should
move your locker closer to—"

She broke off when she saw the pictures.

"Wait," she said. "What the fuck is that shit?"

I looked at the pictures as if I'd never seen them before. I looked at Lauren.

"What do you mean?"

It wasn't one of my wittier moments. She gave me a scowl and gestured at the
photos angrily. "You keep pictures of her?"

I looked at the pictures again, as if the pictures themselves might supply an
excuse for their existence. I turned back to Lauren. "They're just pictures," I
said.

Again, very stupid. Lauren's scowl darkened.

"I thought you were over her?" she demanded.

I don't know why she should have assumed that, since she had been deliberately
avoiding the topic all year, but rather than point this out, I just nodded. "I
am," I said.

She narrowed her icy eyes. "Then what the fuck are you doing with pictures of
her in your locker?"

She spat the word locker as if it was the most vile place you could possibly
pin up pictures, second only to the back of the toilet door. I looked at the
pictures one more time and back at Lauren. I didn't know what to say, so I
repeated myself.

"They're just pictures."

Lauren's eyes flared and I quickly went on before she could explode.

"Look," I said, "I know we never talked about it, but…"

"But what?" she snapped.

I shrugged helplessly. I truly had no idea how to explain it. I didn't even
understand it myself, so I just put it in the best words I could. "Alice was
very important to me," I said. "I can't just forget about her. You know?"

Apparently she didn't and apparently she wasn't interested in even trying to
understand. "I don't keep pictures of my old boyfriend," she snapped, without
giving it a second's thought.

I felt a flicker of irritation. "That's different," I said.

"How is it different?" she demanded.

"You never loved him."

"Oh, so you still fucking love her then?"

I blew out a frustrated breath. "No," I insisted, unsure if I meant it. But
that wasn't even the point. "Look, there's no need to be jealous, alright?
Alice is gone. She's never coming back."

But this was the wrong thing to say as well.

"I don't care if she's dead," Lauren hissed. "You don't keep pictures of your
ex in your locker!"

"Lauren—"

But she spun on her heel and stormed away. I reached out feebly, as if to grab
her back, but then my hand just flopped, and I watched her stalk away. People
in the corridor had glanced in curiosity. Lauren looked exactly like an angry
girlfriend and after she turned the corner the spectators turned their glances
on me. I ignored them and slammed shut the locker door.

"Fuck," I muttered.

The bell rang. I looked up and sighed frustratedly. Alice had been a drama
queen, but she had never freaked out over something like this. I'd outright
cheated on her and she'd forgiven me. The corridor cleared out behind me and I
blew out one more frustrated breath. Then I kicked the locker. I was wearing
boots, but it still hurt my toe.

By the time I got to homeroom Lauren was already sitting with her friends. She
gave me a look as I came in that suggested she was completely pissed at me and
she pointedly ignored me for the rest of the class. I took my place meekly at
her side, waiting for some opportunity to apologize.

But what could I say? I used the silent treatment to try and figure out some
way to explain why I needed the pictures, but how could I explain it to her
when I didn't understand it myself? Really, they were just mementoes. Sure,
part of me still misses her, but part of me always will. The collar wasn't just
for show. I truly did belong to Alice, heart, body, and soul. And part of me
will always belong to her. But I couldn't explain that to Lauren. Lauren
thought Alice had been nothing more than a slutty bitch who ditched me after
prom, but she wasn't. She was so much more.

She was my soulmate.

I was ashamed that part of me still believed that, but I couldn't help it.
Alice had abandoned me, which a soulmate shouldn't do, but I kept reminding
myself that I'd let her down first. Come to think of it, we'd failed each other
quite often for two people who claimed to be soulmates.

Lauren was right. It was okay to keep the pictures before I hooked up with
Lauren, but not anymore. It was wrong to pine after my ex when I had a
girlfriend right here, one who liked me and maybe even loved me. It was
insensitive, thoughtless, ungrateful. Disrespectful, that's what it was. Lauren
deserved better. Maybe our relationship was still in it's early stages, but we
were serious about something long-term, and it was wrong to divide my focus.
Lauren and I were going to face plenty of difficulties, and if we were going to
make it, I needed to set my heart entirely on her. No more Alice.

But that was easier said than done, wasn't it? Wanting to forget about Alice
didn't magically eradicate her from my brain's memory cells. Maybe there was
some cutting edge surgery I could look into, but until then I was simply going
to have to try. And the first step would be to get rid of the pictures.

Good, so I had that settled. I was going to get over Alice and devote myself
entirely to Lauren. Now. How the hell do I tell her that?

I kept waiting for an opportunity throughout the day, but there was none. Most
of our friends had picked up on the tension. It would've been difficult to miss
since Lauren and I had been almost inseparable lately. Now she was ignoring me
and snorting scornfully whenever I opened my mouth. It seemed like a harsh
punishment for a couple pictures. Lauren sat next to Angela at lunch and Angela
kept giving me sympathetic looks. They whispered together for the rest of lunch
period and whispered some more in History. I got the feeling Lauren was talking
about me, and I kept and eye on Angela, trying to figure out who's side she was
on. Her face was mostly inscrutable, but I figured that to be a good sign. It
meant that she was calm and rational, which meant she was likely advising
Lauren to…

Dump me? I hoped not. Was a few pictures really something to break up over?

I didn't know, but I was saved from working myself into a panic when Angela
approached me after history as I was gathering up my books.

"Listen, I talked to Lauren," she whispered. "She's going to apologize, don't
worry about it."

I felt a flush of gratitude, but from her confidential tone, I figured she
wouldn't want me to give her a big hug. So I just smiled and nodded. She smiled
back, winked, and quickly went back to Lauren before Lauren noticed who'd she
been talking to. The next time Lauren glanced at me her expression was
considerably softened.

And after school, Angela's prediction came true. I was standing at my locker in
the busy corridor, pulling down the pictures of Alice. One by one, plucking
them down and looking at them in my hand. Lauren came up with her hands in the
back pockets of her jeans and saw what I was doing. She gave me a look that was
very almost apologetic.

"Sorry," she said sullenly.

Clearly, she wasn't sorry at all, but at least she was willing to try and
pretend. Still, in any relationship there was one person more mature than the
other, and despite my innate shallowness, that person was generally me. So I
smiled demurely and shook my head.

"No, you were right," I said. "I shouldn't have kept them. I just…"

I trailed off. She made a visible effort to understand, failed, and decided to
focus on simply saying the right thing. "Look, I get it," she said. "You loved
her. But you need to get over that bitch. You got me now, you know?"

I shouldn't have, but I felt a touch of bitterness.

"Do I?" I countered. "You won't even go near me in public."

She scowled and pointed at the pictures in my hand. "Is that what all this is
about?"

"Yeah, Lauren," I said with heavy sarcasm. "I kept the pictures all this time
because I knew one day I'd have to use them as blackmail against my closeted
girlfriend who's afraid of kissing me in public. That's exactly what this is
about."

She had the forbearance not to lose her temper. She glanced around to see if
anyone had overheard the word girlfriend, and then she gave me another look
that was almost apologetic, this one almost genuine.

"So why did you keep them?" she asked.

"I told you," I said. "She was important to me. But you know what?"

There was a rubbish bin against the wall and without thinking I closed my
locker and walked over.

"Here," I said, and then I tore the pictures in half and tossed the pieces in
the bin.

And as I did I felt a moment of dizzying panic. It didn't show on my face, but
I almost had to lean on the bin to keep from sinking bonelessly to the floor.
What the fuck had I done? I knew they were just pictures, just glossy pieces of
cardboard, but they were pictures of Alice. And now Alice's pretty face and
pretty body was torn in half and left laying among garbage.

It struck me as a terrible tragedy, the ultimate betrayal, and I almost reached
into the bin to fish them out. But instead I turned to Lauren, blinking back
tears. "There," I said, almost accusingly. "They're gone now, okay?"

Lauren looked abashed. "You didn't have to throw them away," she murmured.

I shook my head, trying to rein back my emotions. Why do chicks have to be so
fucking difficult?

Lauren could see how upset I was, so she went on quickly, trying to make me
feel better. "Look, I'm sorry, alright? I was a bitch. She was important to
you, I get it. But couldn't you put them in a photo album or something? I mean,
why right there where you could see her every morning?"

Because I still fucking loved her, that's why.

"I don't know," I murmured.

Lauren looked at me in silence. People were moving through the corridor,
talking, laughing. Lauren glanced at a group who passed by and turned back to
me.

"So we cool?" she asked.

It seemed she wanted to just forget about it and move on, and that was probably
best. "Yeah," I said. "It's no big deal. You were right. They're gone now, so
let's just forget it."

She nodded and glanced around again. I didn't know what she was so worried
about. We weren't even standing that close.

"Alright," she said. "And listen. Do you really want me to kiss you in public?"

The question took me off-guard. She shrugged up her backpack and her expression
was anxious, as if she was thinking about actually doing it, right here in a
crowded corridor.

"Well, no," I said, hoping that was the correct answer. "I was just saying."

"Yeah, but you want us to be public, right?"

"I want you to be comfortable—"

"Look, would you just answer the fucking question?" she demanded. "Would it
make you feel better if we didn't have to pretend anymore?"

Her expression was stern and somewhat resigned, as if she already new the
answer and was simply waiting to hear it out loud. So I gave a little shrug and
said:

"Well…yeah."

She released the breath she was holding, glanced around one more time, and then
she just did it. She put both hands on my shoulders, leaned forward, and
pressed her lips onto mine.

My eyes fell closed and my head started tingling. Dimly I was aware that all
sound in the corridor had slowly ceased and when she pulled back there were
several people staring.

"What the fuck are you staring at?" Lauren barked at the nearest one.

The poor girl, a freshman, actually look frightened. "N-nothing," she said, but
she wasn't very convincing.

Lauren glared at her. "Yeah? Well why don't you go look at something else
before I stick your head in a fucking locker and close it. Fucking idiot."

The girl nudged her friend, who was equally flabbergasted, and they kept
walking, worried perhaps that Lauren would pull a knife on them. Lauren turned
back to me and grabbed my hand.

"Come on," she said. "Let's get out of here."

The warmth of her hand in mine felt nice, and she held it through the corridor
and into the parking lot, and there she kissed me again where everyone could
see before we parted into our respective cars and drove back to my place to
make out. I still felt a little bad about tearing up the pictures the way I
did, but I consoled myself by remembering I had a whole gallery at home that no
one would ever know about but me.

—

Lauren was a little grouchy in the days to come, so still no sex. She came over
on the weekend and we didn't even get to make out. She wanted to talk instead,
but she had some genuine issues to work out, so it would've been petty to
complain.

Mostly she talked about her mom and how worried she was about what was going to
happen when her mom found out. Fork's high was combined highschool and
middleschool and pretty soon her little sister was going to hear that her big
sister is a lesbian, and since her little sister was a 'stupid fucking bitch'
there was really no way to predict how the 'little whore' would handle the
information.

Lauren wondered if she should just tell her mom and get it over with, but I
didn't feel qualified to advise her. My own coming out with my mother had been
something of a debacle that involved getting grounded and slipping slowly into
a coma amid the ruins of my ruptured relationship. I told an abridged version
of this to Lauren, but Lauren was still a very self-centered young woman, and
she was convinced that her own situation was going to be a million times more
tragic than mine, despite the fact that she didn't really love her mother and
claimed not to care what she thought. Her fears even included being kicked out
of the house, but I was pretty certain child services didn't allow that kind of
thing nowadays. In any case, there seemed to be little I could do but offer
sympathy, so I wrapped her into a hug, and decided it was best not to ask if we
could have sex yet.

Lauren was a nervous wreak Monday morning and she concealed this under a snappy
façade that made even me wary of approaching her. But in the end, it didn't
seem to be much of a big deal. Only a small portion of the school had seen last
weeks kiss, and they must've had better things to gossip about, because even
Angela hadn't heard until Jessica made some wisecrack which Lauren didn't deny.
Instead she retaliated in a manner that made it clear she was indeed a dyke and
would personally decapitate anyone who had a problem with that. No one did.
There was a little more teasing about it over lunch, but Lauren was loosening
up by then, and she was even able to chuckle at how obvious it had been the
whole time. Most of her friends had already known, anyway.

Her little sister never found out until Thursday. She was thirteen years old, a
cute little blonde with curly hair, and at first she denied it even more
vehemently than Lauren herself had done. The poor thing didn't want to believe
there was an actual lesbian in her family. But some of the other girls in her
grade teased her about it pretty badly, and eventually she was shaken enough to
confront Lauren in the parking lot after school. The girl actually seemed quite
scared, as if she thought lesbianism might be contagious and possibly fatal,
and it didn't help the situation that she happened to find us in the middle of
a goodbye kiss, right there by Lauren's car.

The scene that followed made me grateful I didn't have any sisters. To be
honest, I felt more sorry for Lauren's sister. She was just a kid, after all,
very cute. Still, my impassioned girlfriend seemed to have little patience for
her, and after a few pointed words the little blonde retreated with dire
threats about telling mom as soon as they got home. Lauren responded with her
usual bravado, but she'd gone pale, and I could tell she was very scared. I
asked what she was going to do, and she said she didn't know. I told her to
call me later and then I hugged her and kissed her again.

That night I told mom the whole story. Mom had been interested in the
relationship from the very beginning, and she listened with a slowly shaking
head, eating her dinner as if it was a trouble to her.

"Poor girl," she said, referring to Lauren. "It must be so hard on her."

"Yeah," I agreed. "It must suck when your own mom can't accept you. I guess I
was pretty lucky."

Mom smiled at that, but tinged with regret, as if deep down she knew she
could've done better. "Well," she said. "I'm just glad you've finally met
someone nice. She seems like a very sweet girl."

I didn't appreciate the subtle dig at Alice, but I agreed with her about
Lauren. She wasn't nice, and if she was sweet it was sweet like citrus, but she
was awesome – even without sex.

My phone rang.

I fished it out my pocket there at the dinner table and I had a feeling it was
my 'someone nice.' Caller ID confirmed it and I looked at mom. She waved with
her fork for me to answer it.

"Hey, it's me," Lauren said. Her voice was very glum, and I didn't know if that
was a good sign. "Look, can I come over?" she asked without preamble. "I just
had a massive fight with mom."

I fought with an urge to check with mom, but decided it was an emergency. "Oh,
um, sure," I said. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm cool," she said, and at least she didn't sound very upset. "Look,
can we talk when I get there? I just…"

I nodded into the phone. "Okay."

"Thanks," she said. "See ya."

She hung up. I slipped the phone back into my pocket sadly.

"Everything okay, sweetie?" mom asked.

I sighed and picked up my fork. We were having spaghetti, but I wasn't really
hungry anymore. "Lauren's coming over," I said. "She had a fight with her mom."

"Oh dear," mom said. "What about?"

Kind of a dumb question considering what we'd been talking about all night, but
adults rarely like to have their stupidity pointed out, so I just shrugged. "I
don't know," I said. "Me, I guess."

She shook her head, poking at her spaghetti. "It's so sad that girl's parents
have trouble accepting her," she said. "She's going to need your support,
Bella."

I nodded, feeling a small glow of determination. Bella Swan, supportive
girlfriend. It suited me.

It was half an hour later when Lauren arrived. I was standing by the front door
waiting, and I opened it on the second knock. It was raining pretty heavy and
her blonde hair was slightly damp. Her eyes were red as if she'd been crying,
but she seemed determined to be as disaffected as possible. She gave me a
casual greeting and a quick hug. She said hi to mom and even smiled. Then we
went into the living room and played video games.

It seemed like an odd thing to do under the circumstances, but soon she was
laughing and kicking my ass at Forza and pretending that nothing had happened
at all. It felt like I was more upset about the situation than she was. I kept
trying to think of some way to cheer her up and make her feel better, but there
seemed to be little I could do besides let her win on the rare occasions where
I actually had a lead. I knew Lauren wasn't the kind of girl who liked to be
comforted, but if the fight with her mom was bad enough to drive her out of the
house, wasn't it best if we talked about it?

Teen drama wasn't my forte, sadly. I knew she was upset, and I knew she needed
support, but I just couldn't figure out a way to mention that my shoulder was
available to cry on. With Alice it had been easier. With Alice sex had solved
everything. Cheated on each other? That's cool, let's fuck. Lying to me
everyday about important aspects of our relationship? Okay, I'll go down on
you. As twisted as it was, it had worked. We'd gone through a lot of stuff, me
and Alice, and sex had solved pretty much everything until she decided she
needed kill me – and if she hadn't skipped town, I'm sure sex would've solved
that, too.

But Lauren and I weren't even having sex yet, so that wasn't an option. Too
bad, because comfort sex could be pretty wild. In any case, I also knew that
Lauren wasn't the kind of girl who liked to be rushed, and I certainly wasn't
the kind of girl who liked to take the initiative. So I waited, and soon it was
getting late, and very casually she turned to me and asked if she could sleep
over.

Well. Shamefully, the first thing that occurred to me was the possibility of
sex, but I suppressed all that and focused on the possibilities of being
supportive. After all, even she didn't want to talk about it, a little cuddling
was bound to make her feel better. So I checked with mom and then we went
upstairs. Lauren was talking about how much I sucked at racing games, and she
really did seem to be in a much better mood than when she first walked in. Her
casualness wasn't as forced. So even if I'd failed at being supportive in the
traditional manner, with hugs and tears and constant reassurances that
everything was going to be alright, it seemed I did at least cheer her up with
my humiliating losses on Xbox.

I sorted out some pajamas for her to wear, guiltily selecting shorts for her
instead of pants, but instead of getting changed, she sighed and sat down on
the bed, clothes in her lap.

"So you wanna know what happened?" she asked.

Well. It seemed she was ready to talk about it. Maybe all she needed was
privacy. Still, it seemed kind of random, even for a chick. In any case, I did
want to know what happened, so I leaned back against the dresser and said:
"Okay."

It wasn't a long story, and at first Lauren told it very dispassionately, as if
recapping a boring episode of a TV show she didn't really care about.
Apparently her little sister kept her mouth shut until dinner time, possibly
because of awkwardness, but sitting at the same table as a lesbian proved to be
too much of a strain for the young blonde. Bickering ensued and eventually the
girl just blurted out that she saw her sister kissing a girl at school. At
first her mom didn't believe it and actually scolded the girl. But the girl was
adamant and soon her mom began to notice that Lauren wasn't denying it. She
demanded the truth from Lauren and under the circumstances Lauren was forced to
admit that it was true.

Dinner never really recovered after that. But it seemed the fight that ensued
had removed some kind of psychological block from Lauren's head, because she
actually used the word gay – to her mother. She hated using that word even to
me, but she used it freely now, even going so far as to indulge her recent
liberation from her closet with a five minute rant about how she was allowed to
date whoever she wanted to date and just because she was a lesbian doesn't mean
she's any different from before. I was so encouraged by this outburst of gay-
pride that I didn't bother mentioning that only twenty-four hours ago the idea
of being a lesbian was completely distasteful to her.

Oddly, there wasn't much opportunity for comforting hugs and such. Lauren
didn't cry once. She was even grinning as she recapped the fight with her mom,
and it was hard to believe she'd ever been afraid of it. She went on to explain
how she had defended me when her mom started talking shit, trying to blame me
for her daughter's re-orientation, calling me all kinds of bad names. A verbal
melee had ensued and culminated with my stalwart girlfriend slapping her own
mother for being a bitch and stomping away into her room. That's when she
called me and asked if she could come over.

She fell silent after that and her grin slowly slipped away. I sat beside her
on the bed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Like Alice, Lauren was a
girl of many facades, and despite her bravado, I knew how much it must've hurt
to go through something like that. So I hugged her. She didn't cry, but she did
lay her head on my shoulder. I stroked her back and inhaled her scent. Her hair
had dried but I could smell a hint of wet hair and a hint of wet clothes. It
was still raining outside. I was about to ask her if she was okay when there
was a soft knock on the door.

Mom cleared her throat and came a couple steps into the room, cautious about
interrupting. Lauren and I disengaged reluctantly.

"It's getting late, sweetie," mom said to me. "You have school tomorrow."

I looked at Lauren and back at mom. "We'll go to bed in a minute," I said.

Mom nodded and smiled at Lauren. "Well, since you're a guest," she said, "you
can use Bella's bed. I've set up the couch downstairs for Bella."

Rats. Cock-blocked by my own mother. I wasn't expecting to actually have sex
tonight, but even cuddling would be a score at this point in our relationship.

Lauren might've been thinking the same thing, because she gave me a look and
turned back to mom. "Actually," she said. "Would it be okay if I slept with
Bella?"

My heart flipped. She'd asked in a very innocent manner, as if she wanted to
share a bed for comfort rather than sex, but a girl can hope.

Mom shuffled her feet awkwardly. "Well, I'm not sure if that's appropriate,"
she said. "The bed's very small, and after all, you're both…you know."

I cringed. "Mom," I said.

"Well, you're basically a boy, sweetie, I can't just let you—"

"Mom!"

Lauren was trying not to grin and mom was flustered enough from the topic that
she just waved a hand.

"Well, fine," she said. "I guess it won't be a problem. As long as you promise
to, you know. Behave yourselves."

"We will, mom."

"Well, goodnight, sweetie."

"Night, mom."

Lauren wasn't comfortable enough with my mom to say goodnight, but she smiled
and lifted a hand. Mom smiled, nodded, and backed out of the room, half-closing
the door behind her.

Lauren and I were sitting side by side on the bed. We were silent for a few
seconds, no sound but the rain rattling on the window. In a few minutes we were
going to be in bed together. The possibility of sex seemed to be swirling all
around us and finally she looked at me, a shy look, a coy smile.

"Mind if I take a shower?" she asked.

And no. I didn't mind.

She went for her shower first and asked about a toothbrush. I let her borrow
mine and used it directly after her. Then I went for a shower as well and when
I returned to my room I found her sitting coyly on the edge of the bed, hair
damp, her face smooth and clean.

It wasn't going to be our first time, but it felt like it. She smiled at me and
then blushed at the floor. I was wearing nothing but a towel and I was naked
underneath. She stole a glance, and watched me as I closed the door and turned
off the light. The bedside lamp was on and I laid my collar underneath it. I'd
taken it off before my shower, and I looked at it for a second, remembering
Alice. Then I went over and sat beside Lauren.

We tried to be as quiet as possible. Our moans and whimpers were muffled in the
sound of the rain and we didn't speak at all. I cupped her face and kissed her
passionately, letting her know how much I wanted her and how long I've been
waiting. She kissed me back, stroking my bare shoulders with her hands, making
little whimpers into my mouth.

She was ready, more ready than she'd ever been in her life, and after a while I
let my lips descend on her neck and throat. She tilted her head back to allow
me better access, her chest heaving. She pulled off her top and I lowered my
mouth to her tiny breasts. She let me lick her nipples and kiss them and
finally she lifted my face to her mouth and started tonguing me. I tongued her
back, the kiss becoming more and more desperate, and eventually I laid her back
and tugged down her shorts.

Her legs fell open bonelessly and she shivered as I flicked a lick across her
pussy. The taste of her was sharp and tangy and instantly I wanted more. I
licked again, longer, harder, and again, and again. Her clit was hard and
swollen and I kissed it and suckled on it, making her gasp and groan, and then
I spread her pussy and licked inside her, moaning hungrily into her entrance,
and when she came she came with her hands clenched in my hair.

She rolled onto her side, her breath fast and ragged, and while she recovered I
placed little kisses on her thighs and on her hip. Her body was cold and sweaty
and slowly I trailed kisses up to her face. My head was dizzy from excitement
and finally she turned her lips to mine and began kissing me.

The towel was gone and soon I was squirming on my back with her tongue deep
inside me. My breath began to heave as the orgasm built inside me and I came
with a strangled cry, clenching handfuls of bedsheet. I heard her laugh and
when I opened my eyes she was smiling at me in the dim lampglow. I returned the
smile sleepily and then I pulled her naked body on top of mine, kissed her,
stroked her, rolled her onto her back, and went down on her one more time.

When it was all over we curled up together under the covers with her snuggled
at my side with one leg thrown over me possessively. She hadn't spoken, she
just lay there holding me, breathing quietly with the rain pattering outside
the window. I was stroking her hair and after a while I whispered:

"Are you okay?"

Our faces were on the same pillow and hers seem vulnerable, almost scared. She
nodded.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes," she said, forcing a shaky smile. "Thank you."

I giggled once. "You don't have to thank me."

But her face went serious and she nodded emotionally. "Yes I do," she said, her
voice breaking slightly. "No one's ever… I mean… You're just…"

A tear slid down her face. She sniffed, struggling for words. Finally she just
wiped her eye and said:

"I love you, Bella."

A wave of warmth washed over me. I smiled and placed a kiss on her lips. I knew
what I was about to say, and I knew I probably shouldn't say it, but I couldn't
help myself.

"I love you too, baby," I said.

She giggled at the nickname she hated and kissed me, but I hadn't said it to
make her giggle. I said it because even now I couldn't forget Alice and the way
Alice used to make me feel.

—

***** Chapter 27 *****
—

Chapter 27:

—

That year was my dream year as a senior. I was dating Lauren, I had a bunch of
cool friends, and even my grades were perfect. Mom and I were closer than ever,
Lauren and Angela were always hanging out, I went to football games, parties,
movies, dates, shopping trips to Seattle. It was a perfect year, something I
never thought I'd have. I'd been a loser for so long, an outcast characterized
by crappy clothes and homosexual tendencies, and now, finally, I had made it.
They say you don't have to be pretty and popular to be happy, but it sure
fucking helps.

Things were great with Lauren. Our night together had cemented our
relationship, and the sex came quite frequently afterwards, much to my very
great delight. Lauren's dam was broken and her love came pouring forth in a
reckless torrent of unbridled debauchery that would've made even Alice jealous.
Well, not quite. Lauren had her standards, but we did have sex at school a few
times, which was pretty hardcore for regular teenagers. But mostly we kept it
confined to my bedroom and the back seats of our cars. Lauren had turned out to
be something of a domme, and she had a definite hankering for oral. Alice had
been an eclectic girl, sensitive in all zones and open to any kind of
pleasuring. Lauren was a little more limited. Her nipples and vagina were
practically senseless and the only thing that really got her off was her clit.
And, of course, I'm sure it gave her something of a thrill to look down between
her legs and see my head there, licking at her obediently.

She always reciprocated, and since my body was like Alice's—completely slutty—I
generally gave her free reign to do whatever she felt like doing, and mostly
she liked to penetrate me with her fingers. She liked to watch my face and talk
dirty while she did it. She used the vibrator sometimes, but I think she
preferred to use her own fingers. She liked to do the damage herself.

In addition to all this, her policy about kissing girls in public had
apparently been completely rescinded. She now made out with me quite often, in
the corridors, in the cafeteria line, even in class, and after we got detention
for making out in class, we made out in detention as well. I wish I could say
her inability to refrain from sticking her tongue in my mouth was the result of
overwhelming amounts of love and affection, but honestly, I think my charming
girlfriend was simply an attention-seeker. In a way, she reminded me of Alice,
but where Alice giggled at attention, Lauren raged at it. Two boys took a
picture of us making out at my locker on their cellphone. Lauren threatened
them with violence. Two days later the pictures were on Facebook with
unflattering captions. The very next day Lauren ambushed one of the boys from
behind and broke her hand over his head. She got suspended and since the school
supposedly takes sexual harassment seriously, the boys got suspended too. There
weren't any more incidents after that.

Slowly but surely, Lauren was breaking out of her mold as a blonde cheerleader.
She bought a pair of combat boots. She never wore a skirt again. She talked
about getting a tattoo. In these latter days, our roles were almost entirely
reversed. Lauren had become the school dyke and I had become 'that chick in
black that everybody likes.' I was polite, soft-spoken, friendly to all. I fit
in everywhere, above reproach, beneath contempt. People liked me. I didn't like
many of them back, but I was always good at faking smiles, and it was nice to
feel like I belonged.

But unlike my tenure as the school dyke, Lauren bought a bad-ass flair to the
role that most people admired, even envied. She was the target of a girlcrush
or two and one drunk chick at a party actually made a move on her. Lauren
happened to be drunk as well, and she made out with the other girl a for few
seconds before realizing that she had a girlfriend. She then pushed the bitch
away and told her to fuck off. She confessed to me the next morning, but I
forgave her. She really was sorry, and I really had no right to judge,
considering I still fantasized some nights about Alice.

The weeks and months rolled on. Things never really recovered between Lauren
and her mother, but Lauren had lost all respect for her family, and truly
didn't give a fuck anymore. The only time she tried to repair things was when
she invited me for Sunday dinner one night. Lauren's family were respectable
church-going Christians, and in the spirit of Christian generosity they had
decided to extend the gospel of love and acceptance to include their daughter's
gay girlfriend. I arrived in black, black hair, black collar, the black sheep
at a table of blondes. Lauren answered the door and kept hugging me until her
mother walked in and saw. Then she kissed me and told me how hot I looked. I
appreciated the compliment, but the way she said it loud enough for the whole
house to hear didn't seem like the best way to endear me to her ultra-
conservative family.

Dinner didn't go so well. We'd no sooner sat down when a snide comment from her
mother had Lauren bristling silently. Her little sister snickered and her
father was a whipped little bald guy who had a permanent expression on his face
that made it seem like he was wishing he was somewhere else. There would be no
help from either of them. Lauren managed to refrain from stabbing her mother
with a fork, but I think I knew right then that we wouldn't be staying for
desert.

The snubs continued over dinner. Lauren's mom said grace, including a prayer
that the Lord forgive the sins of Lauren and Lauren's 'friend.' I honestly
thought it was funny, and I had to bite back a grin as I said amen. Lauren
wasn't quite so amused and the knuckles on her prayer clasped hands had gone
white. But she growled amen and the meal commenced. We ate in silence for a
while until her mom turned to me, all fake friendliness, and began to question
me on my religious beliefs.

To be honest, I didn't really have any, but I did my best at telling her what I
thought she wanted to hear. Unfortunately, this wasn't enough to satisfy her,
and soon she had launched into a laborious sermon about how homosexuality is a
sin, an affront to the holy institutions of marriage and family, and how
basically all gays are going to hell. Lauren held her tongue with visible
effort, not even eating, and I admit I was rather bewildered. The woman struck
me as a tad fanatical, so I nodded and pretended to be moved by her wisdom,
lest she open a grimoire and attempt to exorcize my demons. Unfortunately, she
took this for encouragement, and went on with a benevolent smile, assuring me
that it wasn't too late; through the miracle of the Lord's love it was possible
to beg forgiveness and change my wrong ways and thereby secure a room for
myself in His glorious palace for after I die.

Well. You see homophobic Christians in movies, but nothing quite prepares you
for them in real-life. What exactly do you say to such a lunatic? I was torn
between running for the door and calling the FBI to report a dangerous
extremist. I didn't have any words for a reply, but Lauren did. Her face was
bright red and when she spoke her voice came out a little shaky. It wasn't what
her mom wanted to hear and soon they were both on their feet screaming at each
other.

It was a pretty good contest. They were both as stubborn as one another, both
equally incapable of compromise. I would've been perfectly fine finishing my
meal and leaving without bloodshed, but Lauren always had a bit of a temper,
and I guess it was worse for her since it was her own mother. I glanced at her
dad, but he looked like he'd rather swallow a steak knife than get involved. In
any case, I felt like I should defend my girlfriend, so soon I was on my feet
too, trying to calm Lauren down. Somehow her argument had degenerated into a
poorly phrased thesis on her right to fuck whoever she wanted to fuck, and by
now I felt that a swift exit was in order.

Eventually she grabbed my hand and stomped us directly out the house. She
stayed at my place that night, and in order to prove her independence she was
eager to engage in some very hardcore sex, so in the end it wasn't a total
waste of an evening.

All in all, the whole scene reminded me a great deal of my first dinner party
with Alice. Alice had invited me over, ostensibly to ingratiate me to her
family, but in the end all she really wanted to do was flaunt me. Lauren was
the same. Her mother had started the fight, but it was also true that Lauren
had provoked her, by kissing me and flirting with me. But it wasn't the first
time I'd been used as a tool to cause family drama, so I didn't let it bother
me. Alice had been worse, in many ways. Of course, the dinner party with Alice
had resulted in submissive sex with a sexy redhead. Still, Lauren's mom had her
charms. I wouldn't fuck the bitch, but if she ever did a stand up comedy act,
I'd be first in line. That god-stuff was gold.

In any case, that was Lauren's first and last attempt at repairing the bridge
between her family. By the end of the year things had settled between them to
the point where they didn't want to kill each other anymore, but Mother's Day
would probably always be an awkward holiday between them.

So maybe my senior year wasn't perfect, but aside from the GF's homophobic
family and the annoyance of homework, it was pretty damn great. The only cloud
that rained on the parade of my perfect senior year was the memory of Alice.
But it was a memory only, and as the months rolled by, the memory dimmed and
dimmed until I hardly missed her at all. Alice was now officially in my Past,
and even though I still wore the collar every day and even though I never lost
my fascination with her prom pictures—especially the snapshot of her panties—I
was fully determined to move on with Lauren.

We were serious, more serious than any other couple in school. We made plans.
Neither of us had money for a fancy college and we both applied to Seattle U
and were both accepted. Sometimes at night we'd stay up talking about getting
married. Neither of us knew if they had same-sex marriage in Washington, but
Lauren had seen The L-Word, and she said they went to France to get married.
The mention of France reminded me of Alice, but it was silly to think Alice
would be there now, and even sillier to think Lauren and I would bump into her
on our theoretical wedding ten years in the future.

So I didn't think about that, and after Lauren was asleep in my bed, I lay
there awake for a long time, imagining our life together. Living together,
married, kids maybe. I hadn't settled on a career choice, but part of me felt
that I'd be happiest in a housewife kind of role. After all, there was no way I
was going to deal with a pregnant Lauren, so if we had kids it would probably
be up to me to pop em out. I'd always preferred the idea of adoption, but maybe
pregnancy could be fun. It would be a nice life, taking care of the kids,
making lunches, kissing my semi-butch wife goodbye as she heads off to work,
proudly providing for us all. Or maybe I could be a working mother. Some women
can manage it, although it seemed like a lot of work to me. Besides, if I had
to pick some kind of career at all, I'd want to do something with my writing,
and that could be done at home. I still wrote poems occasionally and my short-
stories in English were consistently marked well. Yeah, that would be cool.
Devoted wife, loving mother, aspiring romance novelist. A naïve dream, maybe,
but dreams always are.

In the weeks to come it began to occur to me that I was in love with Lauren. In
real love. She made me gooey inside and I knew she felt the same way. We
belonged together.

Those days were like dreams. Lauren called me on the phone all the time to
talk, and she sent me texts and emails, all of them signed with love and love
hearts. I giggled over them like a schoolgirl and showed them to Angela. Who
tried to smile but was secretly jealous. Angela had broken up with her
boyfriend ages ago and she hadn't gotten a new one. Sometimes I'd catch her
staring at me and Lauren when we touched or kissed or looked into each other's
eyes, and I'd wonder if she was thinking about switching teams. Last year she'd
had a pretty obvious girlcrush on Leah, and she had always been kind of
fascinated by my orientation, even if it began as disgust.

Soon it was Lauren's birthday. She wasn't expecting her mom to throw her a
party and surprise her with a pony as a present, but luckily she had a loving
girlfriend who had her covered. We had the party at my place, a modest affair
consisting of loud music, pizza, soda, and a bunch of wild-ass friends. We
watched music videos and made bawdy comments about the popstars. Even the
straight girls admitted they probably do Lady Gaga. I'm not sure if they were
joking.

Lauren was staying over that night, of course, and I had saved her present
until just before bed. She pretended she wasn't even excited, but when I told
her to close her eyes she was almost jiggling from impatience while I made my
preparations. When I told her to open them, her mouth fell open too. I was
standing there, smiling, completely naked but for black stockings, a black
strap-on, and a black ribbon around my neck. Lauren was usually the dominant
one of the relationship, but on her birthday I figured she deserved a night on
her back, so I overcame her resistance with a sexy dance, settled between her
open legs, and gave the birthday girl her present.

It was the strap-on that was her real present, and she made good use of it in
the nights to come. We were a little loud, but by now mom knew we were having
sex, and she was even supportive, since we'd proven ourselves to be a loving
and caring couple. She'd done some research on the internet, much to my
embarrassment, and one morning after a particularly loud night she had sat us
down and lectured us on the responsible way to have lesbian sex, including a
brief warning concerning STDs, which can of course be prevented by proper use
of dental dams and condoms on sex toys. It was one of the most excruciating
conversations of my life, and most of it completely irrelevant; Lauren and I
were clean and we certainly weren't fucking anyone else.

The days and weeks rolled on. Senior prom was approaching and Lauren and I
argued about whether of not she would wear a dress. She wanted to wear a tux—a
girl's tux at least—but I had my heart set on getting her into a dress. Last
year I had dreaded prom; this year I was more excited for it than my own
wedding. I wanted it to be absolutely perfect, and frankly, I felt it would be
more perfect if my girlfriend was wearing a sexy dress.

But by now Lauren's transformation into lesbian bad-ass was almost complete.
She'd gotten two tattoos, one on her shoulder, one on her neck, and she'd taken
up smoking. She wore combat boots everywhere, boots and slacks, and she'd had
her nose pierced and she wore a plain iron stud in it, along with two iron
rings in her ears. All this combined with her cocky loudmouth attitude created
within her a very strong aversion to traditional femininity, including prom
dresses and pretty shoes. But she came along with me and Angela when we went
dress shopping in Port Angeles, and after much pleading I finally managed to
get her to try on a dress.

It was blue, sapphire blue, diagonally cut across the legs and with only one
shoulder strap. The shoulder that was bare was the shoulder with a tattoo, and
with her facial piercings and her combat boots, no one could deny that she
still looked incredibly bad-ass, dress or not. She smirked in the mirror with
me hovering anxiously behind her, posing a little, checking herself out.
Finally she turned to me, shrugged very casually, and said fine she'll wear it.

I squealed like a girl and hugged her. I had never been a squealer, but I'd
never been in a happy and healthy relationship either, and I'd never been to
senior prom on the arm of the hottest girl in school. I hadn't forgotten how
hot Alice had been, but junior prom wasn't the same.

Lauren eventually peeled me off, but she couldn't stop me from grinning like a
fool. My own dress was black and we were going to look so awesome together.
Angela was in green, and she watched our romantic scene a little wistfully as
she pretended to examine a pair of pumps, not interrupting us. Lauren looked at
herself in the mirror once more, and finally she went off to change back into
her real clothes. I turned to Angela, still grinning radiantly. Angela smiled.

"You guys make a really cute couple," she said.

I nodded happily. "Thanks."

"Think you two are gonna make it?" she asked.

My smile didn't even flicker. I nodded, looking off toward the change rooms and
back at Angela. "I think so," I said, and I really did. "I think me and Lauren
might be forever."

—

Before prom all this was over.

It happened on a Wednesday, just a regular weekday. Prom was three days away.
Lauren was practically living at my house by now, since she still couldn't
stand her family, and last night she'd stayed over, so we'd left her car on the
curb and taken mine in the morning. When we came home in the afternoon, I
pulled up and looked out the windshield. There was a car I didn't recognize
parked behind Lauren's, right in front of the house. It was red and it looked
expensive. Lauren was already getting out of the car and bitching about
homework. I followed her, grabbing my backpack and stepping out into the wind.
My hair whipped around my face and I glanced back at the other car once, but I
told myself it was nothing.

We went inside and upstairs. My bedroom door was closed. I was pretty sure I'd
left it open in the morning. Lauren asked me what was wrong and I realized I
was staring at the door knob. My heart was thudding in my throat, but I told
her it was nothing. I turned the door knob and pushed open the door.

Victoria was standing at my bedroom window. Rosalie was sitting on my bed with
Fang in her lap. Both the blonde and the cat looked up at the sound of the
door. Victoria had been gazing out the window and now she turned.

"Ah, Miss Swan," she said, her red lips curving into a smile. "How lovely it is
to see you again."

—

***** Chapter 28 *****
—

Chapter 28:

—

I couldn't even breathe. A cold wave of fear washed over me at the sight of her
beautiful face, her beautiful red hair, and somehow I knew in that moment that
she was here specifically to ruin my life and nothing else.

Lauren pushed past me into the room, her face screwing up into a territorial
snarl.

"Who the fuck are you?" she demanded. "How the fuck did you get in here?"

Victoria looked at Lauren in something like surprise, maybe not even
recognizing her. To anyone else Lauren might've seemed intimidating. She was
tall for a girl, and she was wearing baggy blue jeans, heavy black boots, a
black tanktop that exposed her tattoos. Her blonde hair was streaked with dark
and her eyes were slashed with dark makeup and she had them fixed on the other
woman in a cold glare. But Victoria only smiled.

"Oh," she said politely. "You have company."

She was staring at Lauren, but speaking to me. Lauren was standing in front of
me, almost protectively, and I shrugged up my backpack and stepped aside just
slightly, so that I could glare at the redhead. The magnificence of her vampire
beauty caused a heat in my face just to look at her but my voice came out firm.

"What are you doing here?"

Lauren spun at me. "You know these bitches?"

"They're Alice's sisters."

I hadn't said that name out loud in a long time and my stomach twisted in knots
as I said it now. Was Alice here? Were they moving back to Forks?

Lauren looked at Victoria and Rosalie, finally recognizing them but not letting
her guard down. It wasn't surprising she hadn't remembered them at first. She'd
only seen them at school, in teen clothes. They had always looked too old for
highschool girls, but now they looked like grown women. Victoria was wearing a
stylish charcoal-colored skirtsuit that showed a generous amount of cleavage
and Rosalie was wearing a loose-fitting cream-colored sundress. On the bed
beside her sat a black sunhat with a white ribbon around the crown. She was
petting the cat curled in her lap and her eyes were not unlike a cat's
themselves, the way she eyed Lauren with her silent distain.

Lauren looked at her and then glared at Victoria.

"I don't give a fuck who they are," she said. "How the fuck did you get in
here?"

"Through the door, dear," Victoria replied breezily, "I believe that's the
traditional method."

"What?"

Victoria waved a hand. "Alice had a spare key that I took the liberty of
borrowing," she said, and turned to me with a certain smile. "From you're
relationship together, do you remember?"

"Of course I remember," I said, glowering at her. "Where is she? Is she here?"

"Not here. No."

"Then where?"

Victoria smiled. "Alice is in Paris," she said. "She's always been fond of
Paris. The romance capital of the world. She's always been a terrible romantic,
hasn't she Bella?"

A very strange sensation passed over me as I learned that Alice wasn't here. It
wasn't relief, it wasn't disappointment. It was something else, something cold
that crept over me like a blanket of spiders.

"I don't give a fuck where she is," Lauren said, glaring at Victoria. "Get out.
You can't just walk into someone else's house. Who the fuck do you think you
are?"

But the redhead only smiled. "I'm an old friend of Bella's," she said. "I
wouldn't presume to enter her house otherwise. Bella and I are practically
sisters, aren't we Bella?"

Lauren turn to me for my answer, seeking back up. I could tell that she was as
rattled by the appearance of the blonde and the redhead as I was, and she
wanted them out. She knew nothing about my true relationship with Alice and the
rest of the Cullens, but she knew enough that she didn't want me to have
anything to do with them, not now, especially not now. So I looked at Victoria
and said:

"No."

Naturally, the redhead only smiled wider. Lauren was relieved that I was on her
side and turned her glare back to Victoria.

"You heard her," she said. "Get out."

Rosalie sighed inaudibly and focused on petting the cat delicately behind the
ears. She didn't move and she seemed almost uninterested in the conversation.
Victoria smiled at Lauren.

"Perhaps it was inappropriate of me to barge in like this," she allowed, "but
presumably you wouldn't mind if I spoke to Bella briefly before I left? I'm
here on a matter of some urgency, and I did fly five thousand miles
specifically to see her."

The redhead's sweet delivery and smooth reason actually made Lauren relent
slightly, but only enough to reduce her hostility into suspicion. "Why?" she
demanded. "What's so important?"

"Well, that's hardly any of your business, is it?"

"Bella's my girlfriend," Lauren growled, hostile again. "Everything about her
is my business."

I felt a thrill at Lauren's protectiveness. I knew she could never defend
herself against vampires, but I also knew Victoria wasn't a violent woman, and
had always hated confrontation.

I just hoped she hadn't changed.

For a long moment she simply looked at Lauren, as if wondering if it might be
worth the effort to rip her to pieces, and then she looked at me. "Perhaps we
could talk alone?" she inquired. "Your…girlfriend seems to be in an agitated
mood."

"Fuck you," Lauren spat.

Victoria looked at her again and I didn't want the situation to escalate, so I
touched Lauren's hand and said: "Lauren…"

"What?" she snapped at me.

I realized that she was partly upset at me too, as if she thought I might've
secretly invited them over, but right now it was more important to find out
what the redhead wanted. Throwing her out would solve nothing.

"She just wants to talk," I said.

"If she wants to talk, she can talk in front of me," Lauren said, turning her
glare to Victoria. "Or she can just get the fuck out of here."

Victoria had never been the kind of woman who got annoyed easily, but Lauren
actually seemed to be getting under her skin. She gave my girlfriend a cold
smile and said: "I'm not going anywhere."

Lauren didn't back down an inch. "You'll be going out the fucking window
because that's where the fuck I'm going to throw you," she said. "Now get the
fuck out." She tossed her chin at the blonde on the bed. "And take that dumb
slut with you."

I felt a stab of panic; it probably wasn't the best idea to insult the
redhead's cherished slave.

Rosalie looked up coldly from where she sat on the bed. Victoria looked at her
and looked at Lauren. She wasn't smiling any more and her voice when her voice
came out was cold and quietly lethal.

"What did you say?" she said.

Lauren froze at the tone and she had the sense not to repeat it. I quickly
intervened before she could say anything else.

"She didn't mean it," I said.

Unfortunately, this did nothing but snap Lauren out of her brief fear. She
threw me a glance and scowled at Victoria. "The fuck I didn't," she said. "You
think you scare me?"

"Lauren," I whispered insistently.

Lauren looked at me, and the anxiety in my face seemed to sober her. She looked
back at the redhead, but said nothing. Victoria returned her look for a second
and then she turned to me.

"Our flight leaves tonight," she said, calm and business-like. "I was hoping
you could join Rosalie and I for dinner before we leave. It'll give us a chance
to catch up, and discuss something important. About Alice. Shall I pick you up
at seven?"

"Bella's not going anywhere with you," Lauren said.

Victoria didn't even glance at her. "Seven it is," she said, sparing me a
smile. Then she turned to Rosalie and extended her hand. "Come, Rosalie."

Rosalie set the cat down on the bed, rose, and took her mistress's hand. She
hadn't spoken a single word, but the look she gave Lauren as she passed didn't
suggest that she was happy to meet her. Victoria's parting look was for me, a
smile with her full red lips and a waft of scent as she passed that was so
exquisitely familiar and sexy that it almost made me swoon.

Victoria led Rosalie out and for a second Lauren looked at me. Then she hurried
out the room and barked at our guests to hurry the fuck up and get out. I heard
the front door open and slam shut. Lauren's boots stomping back up the
staircase. When she came back into my room she found me standing exactly as she
left me.

I was staring down at the carpet, dazed, unable to think. It had been almost a
year since I'd seen them. A whole year. And now…

"Fucking psychos," Lauren was saying. "You should've called the cops. That was
breaking and entering."

I shook my head. "They had a key."

"So?"

"It's not breaking and entering," I said. "It's just trespassing."

I said all this without looking at her, still partly in shock. My mind simply
couldn't catch up with what had just happened. Already it felt like a dream or
a nightmare, something weird and impossible, something that couldn't have
really happened.

But it had. Victoria was back. And she wanted to take me to dinner and talk.

About Alice.

Lauren was watching my blank expression with concern. "You okay?" she asked.

I looked at her and nodded reflexively, even smiling. "Yeah, I'm fine."

It seemed to satisfy her. After all, she didn't know what Victoria really was,
what the Cullen's really were. She knew enough to want nothing to do with them,
but not enough to be afraid like I was afraid.

My expression had gone distant again and she frowned. "You're not actually
gonna have dinner with them are you?" she demanded, her tone almost accusing.

My stomach lurched. Did I have any choice? I wasn't sure, I couldn't think. So
I just shook my head. "I don't know," I said.

"Then don't," Lauren barked, maybe more harshly than she intended. But then she
recovered and added more gently: "I mean, what's the point? They don't even
live here anymore. Fuck em."

I looked at her. She had put a hand on my shoulder and she was stroking it
soothingly, waiting with a half-smile for me to agree with her. But I couldn't.
The redhead had said it was something urgent about Alice, and the thought of
that filled me with fear. So I shrugged the same shoulder she was stroking and
said:

"What if it's an emergency? What if something's happened to…"

Lauren's hand stopped. "Alice?"

"Yeah."

Her hand dropped away. "So?" she demanded. "It's not your problem."

I started crying.

I hadn't known I was going to, and I had no idea why. All I knew was that
everything was so perfect and now it was all over. I just knew it was.

Lauren quickly wrapped me into a hug. "Hey," she whispered. "What's wrong?"

I sniffed and stopped crying. "Nothing," I said, pushing away from her.

Lauren watched me wipe my eyes, and she lost a lot of her attitude. She put her
hand back onto my shoulder and bent slightly to look into my face, speaking
softly. "Look, they said they're leaving tonight, so why don't you stay at my
place?" she suggested. "Tell your mom not to answer the door, and we'll just
hole up in my room. They'll be gone tomorrow, and…"

I swallowed a huge lump in my throat and shook my head. "I can't."

"Why?" Lauren insisted. "I mean, the bitch is in Paris. Who gives a fuck if
there's something wrong with her? There's nothing you can do."

I didn't answer. One more tear dropped and I wiped it away. I was staring at
the carpet again, thinking nothing, and after a few seconds she dropped her
hand from my shoulder and her voice went harsher again.

"Look, just stay away from those whores, alright? I know you made out with the
blonde at junior prom and I know you fucked that redhead. That family was bad
for you. They're fucking sluts. So just…"

She trailed off and I tried to give her a reassuring smile.

"I'll be alright," I said. "They just want to talk."

This wasn't what she wanted to hear, but rather than snap again, her lip
trembled and now it was her trying not to cry. "I don't want you going back to
her," she said.

That hadn't even occurred to me. I had no idea what I was afraid of, but I
wasn't afraid of myself; I was happy the way I was, and I didn't want anything
to disrupt that. So I smiled at her as if she was being silly and said:

"You know I'd never do that. Besides, she's in Paris. I'm not even going to see
her."

Lauren frowned aside and blinked with her shiny eyes. "I don't even want you
remembering her," she muttered.

Something warm washed over my heart. I didn't get to see Lauren's vulnerable
side very often, but it was cute. Standing there in her baggy jeans and combat
boots, with her tattoos on her shoulder and around her neck, a metal stud in
her nose, her eyes darkened with makeup. She shook her head and dabbed an eye
with the back of her hand.

"That bitch was bad news, Bella," she went on. "Maybe you don't remember what
you were like with her, but I do. Angela told me shit about you two. I mean,
what if…"

But I only smiled and wrapped her into a hug. She hugged me back around the
waist.

"I love you, Lauren," I told her. "Okay? I'll always love you. Nothing they say
will change that."

She pushed me away. "Then why even talk to them?"

"Because Alice—"

"Was important to you, yeah whatever."

My chest tightened, but I couldn't deny it. Alice and I had something special,
and no one would convince me otherwise, not even Lauren. It didn't work out,
and I would never try again, but it was special.

"She was important," I said. "But doesn't mean I still have feelings for her."

But as usual, she didn't even try to understand. "Yeah, well, I'm important to
you too," she said, "and I don't want you to go with those whores. There's no
point. She's not part of your life anymore. I am. I'm your girlfriend."

I nodded patiently. "I know."

"Then you'll stay at my place tonight?"

I sighed. "I can't."

Her lip trembled again, but her face hardened. This wasn't what she wanted to
hear, and now she had added humiliation of letting herself be vulnerable for no
reason. She sniffed, shook her head, and shrugged a shoulder in a savage
attempt at indifference. "Fine," she muttered. "You know what? Fuck you, Bella.
If you won't even listen to me—"

She flapped a hand but I snatched it out the air and held it. I blinked into
her eyes earnestly, needing her to understand.

"Lauren," I said. "I am listening. You're the one that's not. Please."

"Whatever," she said, and tugged her hand back. She seemed to be sick of the
conversation. "Look, I'm gonna go home," she muttered. "Call me later."

She stepped toward the door, but I said:

"Lauren."

She paused and turned back. "What?"

When I didn't answer she looked at my face. My eyes were filled with tears and
the sight of them softened her. I had a very bad feeling about tonight and I
couldn't bare it if she left like this.

"Please," I said. "Don't leave like this."

Lauren shifted her weight onto one leg and looked away. I walked up to her,
slipped my arms around her bare waist, and leaned my face against her shoulder.
Her arms closed around my back.

"Nothing is ever going to change how I feel about you," I said. "All I'm gonna
do is talk to them. And I'll call you as soon as I get home, okay?"

I felt her breath sigh against my cheek. I lifted my face and asked for a kiss
with my eyes. Lauren wasn't happy, and she still didn't understand why I
couldn't blow it off, but she kissed me. The softness of her lips caused my
heart to clench and I let the kiss linger for as long as possible, because deep
in my heart I knew that it might be our last kiss ever.

Finally she broke the kiss and I smiled up at her with all my sadness hidden.

"I love you, Lauren," I said.

She smiled back reluctantly. "Love you, too."

—

It was only a few hours till seven. Lauren's sullenness hadn't lifted and she
had left soon after the vampires, so we didn't get a chance to make out, or
have sex. Which was a shame because the feeling of impending doom in the pit of
my stomach seemed prophetic of death and ruin and all kinds of tragedy. It
would've been nice to squeeze in one last fuck before the curtain dropped on
this sad drama known as Bella's Life.

But maybe I'm overreacting. Just because the redhead and the blonde had a habit
of ruining my life and relationships didn't mean they were going to do it now.
Maybe they only wanted to talk. Well, the blonde probably wouldn't talk much,
if at all. She was more of a silent slave. And what could Victoria possibly
want to talk about, anyway? She mentioned Alice, but Lauren was right; there
was nothing I could do and it wasn't my problem. Could she truly have flown
five thousand miles simply to chat and catch up?

I didn't know, and I couldn't make my mind settle enough to think about it.
Maybe Lauren was right, maybe I should've just blown it off. But even in my
frazzled state, I knew that was impossible. When the redhead wanted something,
she got it. If I wasn't here when she arrived to pick me up, there's no telling
what she'd do, but I doubt she would've pouted, left me an angry message, and
hopped back onto her plane.

But even so, maybe I should've tried. And as the hour crept closer to seven, I
actually had my cellphone in my hands, thumb poised over the button to call
Lauren and take her up on her offer to stay at her place. The anxiety seemed to
have settled into my bones, and whatever the redhead wanted to talk about, I
was positive it was nothing I wanted to hear. But despite the fear, and despite
the certainty that this was a bad idea, there was one word that kept flittering
through my mind that made it impossible to make the call.

Alice.

What if something was wrong?

What if she was hurt?

What if she…wanted me back?

I didn't even want to think about that. There was no point, anyway. I meant
what I said to Lauren; I loved her. I wasn't going to leave her. The only
reason I was going to meet Victoria tonight was so that she'd go away. Standing
her up would only provoke her. The best thing to do was meet her, listen to
whatever she had to say, and tell her goodbye. Victoria was never really
interested in me, anyway. All she wanted was Alice. And now that she had Alice,
she had no reason to bother me.

So why was she here? Why had she broken into my house? Why had she anticipated
to find me alone?

But I didn't want to think about these things either. It didn't matter why she
was here, all that mattered was getting rid of her. I wasn't the same girl
she'd pushed around back when Alice and I first started dating. I'd proved that
at prom, and I'd prove it again now.

And so it was a scared but determined Bella who opened her closet at six thirty
and pondered what to wear. The outfit should reflect the occasion, but I could
think of no guidelines on what to wear to a dinner party forced on you by a
pair of vampires you hadn't seen since junior prom when they raped your
girlfriend. A chastity belt would've been a bit bulky and a bandolier of wooden
stakes might've been be a little ostentatious. In the end I decided I might as
well go as I am; black cargoes and a black sweater with long sleeves that fell
past my hands. As far I knew there were no restaurants in Forks with fancy
dress-codes, and I certainly didn't want them to think that I was dressing up
for them.

The only thing I was really unsure about was my collar. It was almost a year
old now, and after so much wear it was actually a little frayed at the edges.
But it was still really cool looking, and it had really become an important
part of my identity. It reminded me of Alice, of the love I was capable of. Not
many people could've loved a psychotic little pixie like Alice as much as I did
– no matter how hot her ass was.

So I left it on. The sweater was almost a turtle-neck anyway so they probably
wouldn't even see it. And if they did, they'd have no idea what it really meant
to me.

I'd already told mom that I was seeing Lauren tonight, and I didn't want
Victoria to knock on the door, so I said goodbye to mom a little early before
going to wait outside. She was making dinner, standing at the stove in a pose
I'd seen a dozen times as I'd left on dates. She was making pasta and for a
moment I watched her burn her fingers as she tried to fish a strand of
spaghetti from the boiling water with her bare hand. She hissed and stuck her
fingers in her mouth, reaching for a fork with the other hand. A knot formed in
my stomach, a feeling similar to what I felt when I said goodbye to Lauren this
afternoon. It felt like I might never see her again, and worst of all? This
time I couldn't really convince myself I was overreacting.

"Mom?" I said, suppressing my anxiety. "I'm going now."

Mom spun around, stirring the pot with a fork. The wooden spoon was resting on
the rim. "Okay, sweetie, have fun," she said with a quick smile. "Will Lauren
be staying over tonight?"

This only made the knot in my stomach tighten even more. But I didn't let it
show on my face, I just smiled and shook my head. "Probably not," I said. "Not
tonight."

But mom was mom, and she could see something was bothering me. She looked at
me, still stirring the pot. "Everything okay, Bella?" she asked.

I nodded, stepped up, and kissed her on the cheek. "Yeah," I said. "Love you."

The boiling water bubbled and splashed her hand. She hissed and dropped the
fork into the pot. "Oh shit," she said, then gave me another quick smile and
kissed me on the cheek. "Love you too, sweetie. Have fun."

I backed out of the kitchen, watching her trying to fish the fork out of the
pot with the wooden spoon. I hoped I'd be back later tonight, but the feeling
in my stomach was so bad. Finally I dropped my eyes, turned around, and went
outside.

Victoria was driving a red car, but I wasn't sure if it the same car she drove
when she used to live here. Probably rented. It was a Mazda convertible with
the top up, and when it pulled up, I opened the back door and got in.

Victoria was happy to see me, but I returned her greeting coldly. Rosalie said
nothing. She was sitting in the front with her long legs folded, sunhat in her
lap. Both were dressed in the same clothes they wore earlier in the afternoon,
but the knowledge that I wouldn't be underdressed at wherever we were going did
nothing to dull the ache in the pit of my stomach. And the feeling only got
worse when I looked out the window and saw nothing but dark trees slashing by.

"Where are we going?" I asked, concealing my panic.

"Seattle," Victoria replied casually. She smiled at me in the rearview. "Did
you think I'd dine in that crummy little town?"

Her smile made my face heat, but I kept my voice firm. "I can't be out late," I
said. "I got school tomorrow."

"I wouldn't worry about it."

"What do you mean?"

No one answered. Rosalie turned in her chair and looked me over briefly. I had
no idea what the look meant, but it was getting harder to control my raising
panic.

"Look, why can't we just talk in the car?" I said. "It's not like you gotta
eat."

"True," Victoria said, "but it's been so long since we've seen you, hasn't it?
Why not make a night of it?" She smiled at me again in the rearview. "After
all, aren't you happy to see me, my dear? Such special memories between us. I'm
certainly happy to see you. You were always a lovely girl. The whole coven was
enamored with you. I dare say even Rosalie is eager to renew your acquaintance,
aren't you Rosalie dear?"

It wasn't a question and the blonde didn't answer it. There was a silky menace
in the redhead's whole speech, and I didn't want to encourage her with a reply,
so I kept my mouth shut.

They drove me to the exact same hotel that Alice had taken me to on our first
real date. I didn't know if it was coincidence, but I didn't ask. They left the
car with the valet and I followed them into the lobby with old memories washing
over me as I took in the familiar marble floor, the oak desks, the crystal
chandelier in the ceiling, remembering the awe and anticipation of my new love
for Alice, that Alice who was pretty and perfect and promised to make my dreams
come true. It had been the first time I'd worn a dress, the first time I'd worn
heels. The first time Alice had fed from me with my consent. It had been one of
the greatest nights of my life, that night. And now here I was a year later,
hoping this night wouldn't be the worst.

They took me up to their room where three evening dresses were laid out on the
bed. They'd gotten my size from Alice, they told me. The whole thing struck me
as needlessly elaborate, but in the interest of a painless evening I didn't put
up a fuss. Victoria presented me with a dress that was black, and mentioned how
she remembered I favored black and how beautiful black looked on me, acting
like I should thank her for her consideration.

In all fairness, I suppose the woman hadn't committed any injustice against me
just yet. On the contrary, she'd been the very soul of warmth and civility –
aside from breaking into my house and subtly forcing me into dinner. And aside
from all that, she was still the woman responsible for most of the misery in my
life, and I still didn't appreciate this unwelcome imposition—even if it did
turn out to be perfectly harmless. So I took the dress wordlessly and started
toward the bathroom to change. But she called me back and pressed a set of
black lingerie in my hand with a wink.

I didn't want to wear the stuff, but I couldn't wear my current bra with such a
low-cut dress, and in the end I guess I'm a sucker for sexy things. So I put it
all on, and when I was done they both disappeared into the bathroom together
and left me waiting in the room. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, and as
the minutes dragged on, I wondered if they were having sex in there, a quick
appetizer before dinner. It was an arousing contemplation, and soon I was
shaking my head to clear the mental picture and pretending to myself that the
thought didn't make me horny.

Besides, it was none of my business. Vampires had peculiar habits regarding
sex. From what I remembered about the demonic sluts, they seemed to be eager to
do it as often as humanly—or inhumanly—possible, with their partner or with a
sister or with a random human or with a combination of partner, sister, human.
They were whores.

I was just glad they had kept their hands off me. It almost gave me hope.
Victoria had been a little flirty, sure, but that woman was always flirty, and
Rosalie was ignoring me as she always did. Maybe it was possible they really
were here only to visit. Maybe they didn't even come to see me. Maybe they had
some other reason to be in Seattle and they just thought they'd pop in and
forcefully take me to dinner. It was possible.

When they came out the bathroom, Victoria was in red and Rosalie in turquoise.
Victoria was fastening a diamond earring and she made a generous offer of
allowing me full access to her jewelry case. I refused politely, but she
insisted, and soon I'd grudgingly selected a pair of earrings, a necklace, and
a diamond bracelet that twinkled so prettily it actually distracted me for a
few seconds from the dull horror still lodged in my stomach. Victoria seemed
convinced that the two of us were suddenly best friends, even going so far as
to offer doing my makeup. I tried to refuse this as well, but my cold
politeness was no match for her smothering charm, and I was forced to stand
still while she applied a thin layer over my face, gabbing happily about how
nice it was to see me again, and how she'd missed me all these months. I stood
as still as possible, trying not to glance at her cleavage. Her breasts were as
huge and as succulent-looking as ever, and there was a moment or two when it
was difficult to remember that this beautiful, friendly, charming woman was
also my greatest enemy.

Finally we descended into the dinning room, weaving among the tables and
turning the heads of almost every guest in the hotel. The blonde and the
redhead were as spectacular as they always were, and despite my natural
modesty, I had to admit that I compared almost favorably as I trailed behind
them, demure and slightly self-conscious. The dress was made from a luxurious
fabric that felt heavy and tight against my body. It was the sexiest I'd looked
since prom last year, and while I don't consider myself a superficial girl, I
couldn't deny that the outfit had done something to my confidence. I still had
a bad feeling, but it was difficult to believe anything bad could happen to me
in such a beautiful dress. Surely the gods of fashion watch over such garments
and the people wearing them.

Still, I was on my guard, and after we sat down I actually refused to order
anything. I wasn't hungry, and I wanted to get out of here as soon as possible.
It had already been over three hours since I left the house, and I'd hoped to
be back already.

Of course my hostess had other ideas, and she took the liberty of ordering for
me. She ordered nothing for herself or for the blonde. The only other thing she
ordered was a bottle of wine, and when it arrived she poured all three glasses,
mine last, and said:

"Drink, my dear, drink. There's no need to be guarded."

I didn't even reach for the glass. I still wasn't quite old enough to drink,
but mostly I wanted to demonstrate that she didn't control me. It was a small
victory, considering that she'd already managed to coerce into dinner and a
dress, but it made me feel stronger, and that's what matters.

"What's wrong with Alice?" I said, deciding it was time to get to the point of
all this.

But, as usual, the redhead didn't agree. "Oh, we'll talk about Alice soon
enough," she said. She swirled the wine in her glass, smelled, sipped, and set
it back down on the table. "To begin with, why don't you tell me about
yourself?" she asked conversationally. "I must admit I'm curious. Would you
believe I've missed you terribly? Our departure was so abrupt and we left not
at all on good terms. I rarely leave a girl unconquered, but Alice…"

I frowned, my stomach tightening. Rosalie was holding her glass to her mouth,
watching me over the rim. Then she dropped her eyes to the red liquid, swirled
it, and sipped. I waited for Victoria to go on about Alice, but she didn't. She
just smiled and gestured with a hand.

"Well, we'll talk about that later," she said. "How have you been?"

I exhaled through my nose, sitting there with my arms folded in my expensive
dress. I was already sick of the charade, and I just wanted to go home and
start forgetting this visit ever happened. "Fine," I muttered.

And the redhead, ever the charming hostess, took the liberty to amplify my
answer. "I see you have a girlfriend now," she mentioned. "Quite a darling.
What's her name? She seems familiar."

My stomach turned at the mention of Lauren. I didn't want to talk about her
with the redhead, but at the same time I wanted her to know that I did have
someone, someone I was happy with. So I frowned and said: "Lauren."

The named seemed to ring a bell. "Ah, yes, Jane's friend," she said. "Dating
you now, is she? Well, well. I had a feeling about that girl."

I didn't answer. The waiter arrived and placed a plate in front of me. I
shifted in my chair uncomfortably until he was gone, and then I went back to
glaring at Victoria. I didn't reach for a fork and hardly even glanced at the
food. Victoria smiled at me and reached for her wine glass.

"How long have you been dating?" she asked.

I decided to keep my answers short so she'd know I wasn't interested in
chatting. "Almost a year."

"That's quite a long time," she remarked.

I rolled my eyes. "I know."

She smiled at the eye roll. She set down her wine glass. "And you're happy
together?" she asked.

"Yes," I said, and as I said it, a surge of that happiness burned in the pit of
my stomach, reminding me that everything was perfect and I better not fuck it
up by letting my guard down.

"How wonderful," Victoria said, with a completely fake smile. "Alls well that
ends well, hm?"

I didn't answer, and I wasn't sure if I should feel encouraged that she was
implying that everything had ended well. I still hadn't touched the food. It
had stopped steaming. Rosalie was still holding her wine glass, gazing inside
of it, no apparent interest at all in the conversation. Classical music was
playing somewhere and the dinning room was filled with a din of conversation
and clatter of cutlery. At our table we were silent.

Victoria gave me time to form a reply, and when it became clear that none was
forth coming, she sighed. "And your mother?" she went on. "Is she well?"

I shrugged a shoulder. "She's okay."

"I ask because I remember Alice caused some difficulties between the two of
you," she said. "All patched up?"

I didn't need to be reminded of that, the same way I didn't need this whole
dinner, so I frowned and muttered: "Yes."

My lack of conversation finally seemed to be causing a ruffle. She narrowed her
emerald eyes at me playfully, swirled her wine glass, and drank what was left.

"Well," she said, setting the empty glass down. "Prom's approaching, isn't it?"

Another thing I didn't need to be reminded of right now. Prom was three days
away and it was shaping up to be the greatest night of my life – my true
highschool dream. I didn't want tonight to cast a shadow on it, so I looked
away and muttered: "Yeah."

"When exactly?" she persisted.

I exhaled through my nose. "Saturday."

Victoria seemed surprised in a delighted way. "So soon? Well. I suppose you'll
be going with your charming girlfriend, won't you? The lovely Lauren."

Her voice was perfectly sweet, but there was hint of sarcasm in her praise of
Lauren. I bristled and decided not to reply. The blonde had finished her wine,
and the redhead now poured her another, filling her own glass as well.

"Have you selected a dress yet?" she inquired.

I gritted my teeth. This was getting ridiculous, but I couldn't exactly get to
the point, since I had no idea what the point of this little dinner party
actually was. So far it really did seem like she only wanted to catch up, but I
knew her better than that. The details of my life were an amusement to her and
nothing else.

"Yeah," I said.

"What color is it?"

"Black."

"Mmm," she smiled, eyeing me where I sat in my black dress. "Yes, you always
looked lovely in black. Do you remember last year's dance?"

I looked away, clenching my fist under the table. Of course I remembered. It
was the worst night of my life. I was strung out like an addict on my
girlfriend's venom, my girlfriend wanted to kill me, my girlfriend's sisters
were outright threatening us to give up our pussies, and not to mention I was
reviled by Lauren, most of the school, and even my mom.

So, no, not my fondest memories.

And strangely, it seemed the redhead agreed with me. She gave a subtle shake of
her head and went on with an air of melancholy. "I can't help but remember it
bitterly," she said. "We had harsh words, you and I, and if you hadn't been so
stubborn in your desire to please Alice—to please a girl who can never be truly
pleased—well…everything could've been perfect."

I couldn't believe she was actually blaming me for that night. All I wanted to
do was the best thing for my girlfriend. The redhead was the one who'd ruined
everything – and now she sat here saying it was my fault. It took all my focus
not to bludgeon her with the wine bottle.

"Well," Victoria went on, when I didn't answer. "I see your conversation skills
haven't improved."

That was the final straw, and in a flare of temper, I tossed my chin at the
blonde. "If you like conversation so much, why do you date that thing?" I
snapped.

As soon as the words were out I felt a shiver of panic and mentally slapped
myself for provoking them. The redhead was dangerous enough even when she was
friendly.

But Victoria only smiled at Rosalie fondly and said: "Rosalie's mouth excels at
other tasks."

The blonde actually blushed and reached for her wine glass to cover her
awkwardness. "Fuck you," she said.

It was the first hint of defiance I'd ever seen out of her, although it struck
me more as lover's banter. The blonde seemed entirely comfortable in her role
as slave, but I think she was miffed slightly at being demeaned in front of me.
Victoria smiled at her, touched her hand that laid on the table fondly, and
turned back to me.

"Alice was the conversationalist of our little unit," she went on. "She could
talk all night, that girl, and about the most nonsensical things. But she
doesn't talk much lately. Her breakup with you seems to have extinguished most
of the joy from her life."

The mention of Alice made me cold. Alice had been the conversationalist of our
relationship, too. She used to talk about anything and everything, sometimes
not even requiring a response. I used to love to listen to her voice.

And now she doesn't talk much anymore? She missed me? Even after all this time?

I didn't know how I was supposed to feel about that. I hadn't expected her to
move on instantly, but I thought she would've met someone else by now. I wasn't
anything special. She had her sisters, and if she really wanted another human,
I'm sure there were plenty of girls out there who would die to be with her.
Literally, if she really wanted them to.

Victoria's expression went pensive for a moment, and I thought she was finally
going to get to the point. My stomach turned from anticipation, but then her
smile flickered back on.

"But let's not talk of that just yet," she said. "Tell me more of your prom.
You must be excited."

But I was done chit-chatting. It was getting late and I wanted to get home as
quickly as possible, home to mom, home to a phone call to Lauren so that I
could assure her that everything was fine and those stupid sluts were gone and
never coming back, home to where none of this was a big deal and I didn't have
to be afraid anymore. So I shook my head and said: "This is stupid."

"Why, dear?" Victoria said, feigning innocence. "And why do you look at me as
if I have some terrible news for you? Is it so difficult to believe that I
merely want to visit and apprise you of family news?"

I glared at her across the table. A white tulip in a vase stood between us.

"What's wrong with Alice?" I demanded. "Why did you say it was urgent?"

Rosalie looked at her mistress and back at me. Victoria smiled.

"Still so fixated," she said. "In all this time you haven't managed to forget
her either, have you?"

I felt a burning anger at that, but I ignored it. My feelings for Alice were
too complicated to explain, and even if I'll never forget her, it was Lauren I
was in love with – Lauren I wanted to go home to.

"You're the one who said you have to tell me something," I retorted. "I just
want to get out of here."

"Wouldn't you like to reminisce a little more?" she asked.

"No."

"I would," she said, completely ignoring me. "In fact, I'm curious about the
particulars of your argument with Alice at the dance. Alice has been most
annoyingly reticent on the subject. She simply came home in a tizzy and
demanded we leave town immediately. I was loath to leave you behind, of course,
but Alice was quite adamant never to have contact with you again."

Alice never told them? Why?

I glared at the redhead. "Did she go back to you?"

"Oh yes," Victoria said. Then smiled and added: "But don't change the subject.
What did you argue about?"

I took a second to wonder if I should answer that. But did I really have a
choice? If I ever wanted to get out of here and go home, I needed to keep her
talking, so I sighed and said:

"She wanted to kill me."

"Ah," Victoria said, not surprised at all. "What, ritualistically with your
consent?"

It annoyed me how she said it so casually, but I nodded. She said it as if she
assumed it was that the whole time, that it was typical Alice. The blonde was
watching me and she seemed to be finally developing some interesting the
conversation.

Victoria smiled, a surprisingly bright smile, as if remembering something cute.
"One of Alice's favorite fantasies," she said. "It was always her fondest dream
to find a girl who would do that for her. I assumed she might've chosen you,
but I found it difficult to believe you'd refuse. And refuse so harshly that it
would destroy your relationship. You never struck me as a girl with much self-
respect, frankly."

"I'm not," I muttered, looking away.

"Yet you denied Alice her wish. Why is that?"

I looked at her, screwing up my face as if she was an idiot. "I don't want to
die."

"Ah yes," she said, as if she'd forgot most people are afraid of dying. "Of
course."

We fell silent, the violins continuing in the background. I still hadn't
touched the plate in front of me and even though I hadn't eaten since lunch I
wasn't the least bit hungry. A millions memories were washing over me, memories
of shame, regret, disappointment, of joy, love, rapture. Alice and I had loved
each other so much and yet our relationship was so destructive. Had it ever
been possible for us to settled down? Or were we doomed from the beginning?

"She didn't even give me a chance to apologize," I said, almost without
realizing. "If she'd just stuck around, maybe we could've…"

I trailed off and shook my head quickly.

"But it doesn't matter," I said. "She's gone now and she's never coming back."

Victoria looked at me, as if considering if this was true. She tapped twice on
the tablecloth with a red fingernail and smiled. "Yes, I suppose she is," she
said. "You and I have much in common, Miss Swan. Would it surprise you to learn
that Alice once attempted to force the same dream on me?"

Yes, it would. I frowned at her. "You?"

"Oh yes," Victoria said, smiling. "I was human at the time, and I do confess I
was tempted. I wanted so sorely to make her happy. But ultimately I refused."

I snorted and shook my head. "Alice told me it was you who wanted to kill her."

Back when I was addicted to her venom I'd been able to overlook her lies. But
now, when I thought back, it amazed me how dishonest she'd been about
everything. I could understand most of it, and I could even forgive it – but it
still hurt how little she'd trusted me.

"Alice reinvents her history according to the audience," Victoria said. "Like
yourself, she has very little self-respect. She takes no pride in personal
truth, and seeks only to make herself likable, however she can."

"You didn't turn her, did you?"

"No."

"Who did?"

I had been thinking that maybe it was the doctor guy, since he was the only one
she seemed to treat with any authority, but the redhead only shrugged a
shoulder.

"I have no idea," she said. "It's one of Alice's closest secrets. The only
person who knows is Jane, and only because Jane was witness to the events.
Alice would never tell a soul. Not the truth, anyway."

I was surprised at that. I remembered my very first date with Alice, when I'd
taken her out for pizza and a movie. I'd asked her how she became a vampire,
and suddenly I remembered her expression; sad, detached, vulnerable. She hadn't
wanted to talk about it, and she hadn't known me well enough to lie. What
could've been so awful that she couldn't tell her closest sisters?

Rosalie was leaning back in her chair, wine glass in hand, watching me. I
turned away from her cold eyes and looked at Victoria.

"Who turned you?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Alice, of course."

"How?"

Victoria smiled and gestured in the air with a hand, an elegant gesture that
implied ease, indifference, a dull story to be told.

"I was a duchess, some time ago," she said. "I lived in the country. It was a
very boring life, needless to say, and in order to amuse myself I made a habit
of…befriending young girls from the village."

So far it matched Alice's story, aside from the fact that Victoria was human.
She sipped her wine and went on.

"One day I met Alice and Jane," she said. "Two pretty little orphan girls. They
had already been traveling together for over a century and they were quite
happy to settle down and accept a place in my household.

I frowned. Jane as well? Alice had never mentioned that.

"The three of us clicked quite instantly," Victoria said. "After all,
encountering a fellow lesbian in those days was no common thing, and we all
seemed willing to make the most of it."

She paused thoughtfully, went to sip her wine, but set it on the table instead.
A smile and a strange flush passed over her face, and when she went on she went
on almost coyly.

"I was always a dominant woman," she said, "but I admit I was rather bewitched
by the two of them. I'd never seen such pretty girls, and despite their
apparent youth, they were far older than I, and far more willful. To put it
frankly, they overwhelmed me. I fed them and bathed them and they were
very…forceful with their gratitude. My grand seduction was almost a game to
them. They'd giggle and demure and tug at my clothes and tell me I'm beautiful,
closing upon me like twin sirens.

"They both bit me that first night together. Somehow they knew I was too
helpless against them, too enamored, to be afraid. I didn't resist, and soon
they'd become a permanent fixture in the household."

Victoria smiled and made another small gesture with her hand. "Jane was a
little insolent for my taste," she allowed, "but Alice was a perfect treasure.
Despite being my superior in both beauty and bearing, she submitted to me very
eagerly, and soon she became the perfect slave. I'd make her do things and if
she was a good girl I'd reward her with blood. A complete charade, of course,
but I was very…grateful to her for indulging me the way she did. I fell in love
with her and I would've done anything to make her happy.

"Until, of course, she asked me to die for her. It was a surprising request,
and while I didn't understand it at the time, I did eventually. Even at that
relatively young age she was crippled by routine heartbreak and her inability
to create a substantial relationship, with Jane or anybody else. She was ready
to die even then, but she was afraid of dying alone."

I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. I'd almost forgotten how fucked up Alice
was. And how badly I'd let her down.

Victoria sighed, sipped her wine, and went on.

"I was well enthralled in the grip of her venom by that point," she said, "but
I had enough clarity of mind to realize that if I died I wouldn't get to fuck
her anymore. So I begged." She snorted at the memory and shook her head, as if
recalling some youthful folly. "I admit it shamefully, but it's true. I
remember the moment exactly. I fell to my knees, naked and disheveled, and
begged her with all my heart not to ask such a thing of me. I would've gladly
done it to make her happy, but more than dying for her, I wanted to live for
her. I believed I could make her happy and be her true love forever. I was
still very young, after all.

"In any case, the little rascal took advantage of my vulnerable state by making
me do several things I wouldn't ordinarily do, but eventually she succumbed to
my pleas and promises of love and she decided to turn me instead. Needless to
say, I never begged again."

By the time she finished her story I was feeling a variety of uncomfortable
things. Sadness for Alice. Regret that I hadn't had the presence of mind to beg
her to turn me as Victoria had done. Arousal at the thought of Victoria begging
and being dominated by a sexy little pixie.

All in all, I didn't have faculty for any kind of response. I sat there
blushing, and Victoria swirled the wine in her glass, glanced at Rosalie, and
then turned to me with a smile.

"Well, that was rather embarrassing," she said, and I noticed she too was
blushing slightly. "But you can see why I wanted you to know."

Actually, I had no idea. I was far too flustered to make any logical link
between Victoria's story and the topic at hand. In fact, I hardly had any clue
about the topic at hand either. "Why?" I said defensively.

"So you can understand," she explained pleasantly. "That you and I are not so
different. Alice and I were quite happy for quite a while, but in the end
Alice's faith in me was misguided and foolish. I promised to love Alice and
only Alice forever, and while I have lived up to that promise to some extent,
it's also true that I fell in love with Rosalie. Alice will always have a
prominent place in my heart, but if there's one thing Alice and I learnt from
each other it's that true love simply does not last forever – if it even exists
at all."

I frowned. I was angry at the redhead, but I was angry at myself too, because I
truly had no idea what the fuck she was talking about and why the fuck it was
relevant to the world as I knew it. So I shook my head frustratedly and said:
"I still don't get it."

Victoria sighed and glanced at Rosalie. Rosalie rolled her eyes, and the
gesture was so large compared to her usual icy stillness that it gave me a
strange flicker of delight, as if part of me was happy to have finally caused
some kind of reaction in her.

"You and I have a great deal in common, Miss Swan," Victoria went on, "but
clearly Alice's dream for you was different than Alice's dream for me. Alice
was disappointed at my refusal, but willing to accept a compromise. Willing to
hope and continue to dream. But that was a very long time ago and she's become
increasingly desperate in recent years. She was a fractured girl when she first
entered my arms, but by the time she entered yours she was shattered beyond
repair. She had pinned six centuries of hope on you and it seems your rejection
was more than she could handle. She hasn't recovered and I realize now that she
never will."

A cold wave washed over me. It wasn't the first time she mentioned that Alice
hadn't gotten over me, but it seemed more serious this time. "What do you
mean?" I asked.

Victoria sighed once more, and leaned forward on the table with her elbows.
"When Alice left Forks," she said, "she was determined to forget you and
pretend nothing had happened. It was the only way she could cope. She threw
herself back into her old life. She began dating. She spent time with her
family. She managed to pretend for quite a while, but slowly the pretense began
to wane until she could pretend no longer. She began to lose interest in her
dates. She fed less frequently. She claimed that blood had began to taste
bitter to her. That there was no blood like yours.

"At this point she had hardly mentioned your name at all, and we were all
careful not to mention it either. But slowly she began talking about you more
and more. Jane and Leah wanted to invite you to visit, but Alice wouldn't hear
of it. She was determined to take the noble path, to leave you alone, let you
move on. But you and I both know Alice is not a noble girl, and deep down, I
think she was simply afraid of further rejection.

"Either way, her fixation with you began to resurface. She resumed dating
again, this time limiting herself to women who looked like you. She tried to
replicate your relationship with them, but soon she was complaining that it was
never the same, that you were the only person she had ever loved, the only
person who had ever loved her. Rather unfair considering how every one of her
sisters had loved her with all their hearts at some point or another.

"Nevertheless, in final assessment it seems obsession is stronger than love,
and after a few months of dating look-alikes she finally abandoned dating
altogether. At this point her fixation took an even more troubling turn. She
began writing you letters with no intention of sending them. Then she began
writing your replies. And even this didn't satisfy her for long. Soon she
started talking to you on the phone. A disturbing scene, I can assure you.
She'd lay on her bed all day, giggling into her cellphone, making plans for
dates, asking you what you were wearing. Outwardly she appeared to be becoming
happier. But we could all see that we were finally losing her."

I listened in shock. The image of Alice flirting with phantoms on the cellphone
was so creepy and so heartbreaking that I could feel tears prickle my eyes. I
had no idea she could've been that affected. But it was her who left me. Why
did she go if our relationship meant so much to her? Why didn't she try just
one more time?

Rosalie was watching me intently, and although she kept her face stony, I could
feel the cold resentment burning from her blue eyes. She had always hated me
for taking Alice away from her and her mistress, and I realized that this must
feel like a double insult to her. Alice had finally left me and gone back to
them – only to slowly regress and abandon them again.

Victoria, on the other hand, seemed largely untroubled. Her sighs and pensive
glances into her wine glass seem calculated for dramatic effect, yet she didn't
seem cavalier; more like self-assured. As if she was aware that it was a very
difficult problem but confident at the same time she'd solve it. Finally she
looked up, smiled, and gave a soft chuckle.

"Obviously the poor girl was not in a healthy frame of mind," she said. "So it
came as no surprise when the pretence became too much for her to bear and
despondency began to set in. She was feeding very rarely at that point and she
showed little enthusiasm for it. After a while she confined herself to her room
entirely. We would visit her every day, but all she spoke of was destiny and
soulmates. I won't bore you with her babble. I'm sure you've heard it all
before.

"In any case, as it became clear that she was never going to get over you, we
began to encourage her to go see you. To apologize for whatever she did or
said, to win you back. But she wouldn't hear of it. She was never angry at you,
Miss Swan, you should understand that. She blamed the failure of your
relationship entirely on herself. In her mind she had raised you up on a
pedestal of perfection, and it was unthinkable to her that you could've done
anything wrong.

"So she was determined to let you go. She was convinced that you were better
off without her. That you'd move on, be happy. Very noble of her, but as I
said; in the end, I think she was mostly afraid of further rejection. She was
dying at that point, and with her righteous end so clearly in sight, she didn't
want anything to interfere with that."

I blinked rapidly. I felt tears dash against my cheeks.

A waiter passed by the table and the redhead flagged him down with a finger and
ordered another bottle of wine. My own glass was still full and my dinner lay
cold and untouched before me. I looked down at it, but it was blurry from my
tears, and I looked away quickly. I was trying with all my might not to cry,
but it was hard.

Alice was dying.

Alice.

Dying.

I wiped my eyes and looked at Victoria. The bottle of wine had arrived and she
was pouring herself another glass. The blonde held out her glass to be filled
and as the redhead filled it she nodded at mine.

"Drink, my dear, drink," she said. "Don't let it go to waste."

I glared at her with my welling eyes.

"Dying?" I questioned in a small voice.

Victoria nodded, setting down the bottle. "I'm afraid so," she said. "About two
months ago she simply stopped feeding. Every member of the coven has offered
her their neck, and yet she refuses. She craves your blood and your blood
alone, and unless she has it…she will die."

A wave of cold dizziness washed over me, so cold and powerful that I actually
swayed on my chair, and suddenly I knew why the redhead was here.

Victoria smiled. "So," she said. "Now you can understand the true reason for
this little visit. Alice was my first love and she will always be special to
me. Naturally, I find it difficult to simply stand by and watch her wither
away. The rest of the coven respects her wishes and is prepared to let her die
if death is what she wants. But I cannot. A world without Alice is not a world
Rosalie and I have a strong desire to live in. She refuses to come see you
herself, so we have come in her place. Alice cannot live without you and thus
we have come to ask you to return to her."

Noise continued in the hotel dinning room, but as she spoke the noise slowly
seemed to drown out until all I could hear was a humming in my ears and dull a
violin melody. They were looking at me, waiting, and I looked between them, one
then the other, and before I realized it I was shaking my head.

"I can't," I said.

My own voice seemed to break the spell. Rosalie's perfect eyebrows gathered
into a frown, but Victoria didn't seemed surprised at all. She continued to
look at me until finally I spoke again.

"Alice left me," I blurted, as if defending myself. "I'm sorry I hurt her
feelings, but that's not my fault."

Victoria cocked her head slightly. "Not your fault?"

The was more of her silky menace in the question, and I swallowed reflexively,
but I didn't back down. "Of course not," I said. "It was no one's fault. We
tried our hardest, but it just didn't work out. We wanted different things. If
I went back to her all she'd do is kill me and die anyway."

"Perhaps," Victoria said, "but let me ask you this; how can you presume to know
what Alice wants…when Alice herself has no idea?"

I didn't answer. I felt ashamed of how cavalier I was being, but my panic
overpowered any feelings I had left for Alice. Part of me would always love
her, and I was sad to hear she was dying, but Lauren was right; Alice wasn't
part of my life anymore. Lauren was, mom was, my friends at school were. I had
an new life now, and I wasn't going to waste this one like I almost wasted my
old one.

Victoria smiled at my silence. "Do you want to know what Alice really wants,
Miss Swan?"

"What?" I frowned.

"You," she said. "That's all. Perhaps at one time her demands of you were
difficult to live up to, I understand. But all that's changed. Now, in her
death, she has realized her folly and her demands of you have become so small
that she doesn't even require your presence at her side, let alone your life.
If you don't want to die for her, don't. She'll take whatever you have to
offer. The relationship is yours to dictate."

I was shaking my head again. "That's not the point," I said.

"Then what?"

I glared at her. "I have a girlfriend," I told her. "I don't love Alice
anymore."

Victoria looked at me for a long moment, as if wondering if this was true.
Finally she said:

"I don't believe you."

"I don't care what you believe," I snapped back. "Maybe Alice loves still me,
but Lauren loves me too. So does my mom. And I love them both. They're the ones
that really care about me, not Alice. I love Lauren and I'm not going to leave
her."

"Alice will die."

"That's not my fault," I insisted, raising my voice. "I didn't mean to hurt her
feelings. I'm sorry it came to this, but there's nothing I can do. I can't take
responsibility for all her fucked up-ness. If she wants to die, then that's her
problem. It's got nothing to do with me."

Victoria smiled. "Think carefully, Miss Swan," she said. "Are those truly the
last words you want me to convey to her as she lays dying with your name on her
lips?"

Guilt and shame washed over me and I had to fight back tears – but I didn't
relent. Maybe I was heartless for refusing to even visit my dying ex, but this
wasn't any ordinary ex. This was a psychotic vampire who's obsession had almost
killed me. I'd feel guilty for the rest of my life for letting her down, but
Lauren was my girlfriend now, and now it was Lauren who couldn't let down. So I
just shook my head, blinked back tears, and said:

"I'm sorry."

Victoria went absolutely still for a moment. Then she sighed and rolled her
eyes elaborately. "Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn," she said. "Why is every woman
in my life so hideously stubborn?" Then she turned a smile onto the blonde and
touched her hand as if to reassure her. "Aside from my Rosalie, of course."

Rosalie didn't smile or make any kind of fawning display, but you could see the
loyalty in her eyes, the pride, the devotion. Victoria lifted the other woman's
hand, kissed it, and set it back down on the table. Then she turned back to me.

"Truth be told, Miss Swan," she said, "I had assumed to find you as miserable
and alone as Alice. I'd hoped you would return to her willingly. Even eagerly.
It seems I've miscalculated, but honestly, I'm happy that you've moved on. It
shows a strength of character that I had never seen in you. I honestly thought
you were completely pathetic."

"Thanks," I muttered.

Victoria nodded, as if to indicate I was welcome to the compliment, and with a
dismissive gesture of her hand she went on.

"Unfortunately, however," she said, "I only gave you the illusion of choice to
try and avoid unpleasantness. But one way to another, I'm afraid I really must
insist that you return to Alice. As I said, she'll die if you don't. And that's
simply not acceptable to me."

I suppressed my temper and I shrugged. "I'm sorry," I said.

Victoria nodded, almost sadly. "As am I," she said. She glanced at the dainty
diamond watch on her wrist and sighed. "Our flight leaves in an hour. Will you
come willingly?"

The way she asked the question my insides twist in fear. But I kept my face
firm.

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

She tilted her beautiful head, emerald eyes twinkling. "No?"

"No," I said.

A dark smiled curved her red lips and she said softly: "The last time you told
me no I raped you on the floor like a bitch."

Tears sprang into my eyes, but I didn't let any fall. "I'm not that same girl
anymore," I said, and then I pushed back from the table and stood. "From now
on, you stay away from me. If you ever come near me again, I'll kill you. I'll
get home by myself."

My clothes and cellphone and my money were upstairs in the hotel room and I was
miles away from home, but I couldn't sit at that table for one minute longer.
I'd listened to what they had to say, told them no, and now it was time to go.
Victoria could make all the threats she wanted, but this time she was facing a
girl who was prepared to fight back – and fight hard.

Victoria feigned surprise at my abrupt removal from the table. "So soon?" she
asked. "I have a better idea. Why don't we go upstairs and put this new found
bravery to the test? Hm? It'll be fun."

She reached across the table for my hand but I snatched it away.

"Touch me and I'll scream," I told her.

"Miss Swan, please," she said, still smiling. "Before you leave, I have one
last thing to say to you. Hear me out, and if you still wish to leave you may.
Please?"

The only reason I didn't keep walking was because I didn't want them to have
any excuse to bother me again. So I turned back to her and said: "What?"

"Will you sit down?"

"No."

"Miss Swan, I really think you've gotten the wrong impression. I truly mean you
no harm. After all, what would I have to gain by harming you? I intend to
present Alice with her soulmate, not a broken corpse." She shook her head, she
smiled. "No, no," she said. "It would be far more economical to threaten those
you care about. Your mother, for instance. Or maybe this girlfriend you love so
much. Perhaps that would be more poetic."

At first didn't I understand what she meant. Then my brows slowly drew together
in a frown. Someone at a nearby table laughed at something and a waiter had to
detour around me because I was blocking the aisle.

"What?" I said.

Victoria smiled, seeing that she'd captured my attention. "That little Lauren
was so fiercesome this afternoon, wasn't she?" she said. "So protective.
Imagine how surprised she'd be if Rosalie and I paid her a visit tonight and
tore her head off."

A wave of cold and absolute fear washed over me. She was threatening Lauren.

"You wouldn't," I said in a small voice.

But her smile only widened on her red lips. "Wouldn't I?"

My legs felt weak suddenly and I gripped the backrest of my chair for support.
Then I sat down. I was shaking my head and when I spoke I said: "You can't do
this to me."

Victoria leaned forward on her elbows, bunching her breasts between her arms
and gazing at me very deliberately. "Miss Swan, you're an intelligent young
woman," she said. "I won't patronize you, so let me put this as simply as
possible. Return to Alice and I'll let your girlfriend live. Otherwise she's
dead, and next it will be your mother."

I sat there on the edge of the chair, lip parted in shock. The violins were
still going and the dinning room still echoed with conversation. Victoria
watched me, watching the fear and helplessness crawl over my skin. Finally she
leaned back from the table and took up her wine glass. Rosalie's eyes were
averted, her hand laying on the table with the stem of her glass between her
fingers. She wouldn't look at me.

"That's the best deal you're going to get," Victoria said. "I won't tell you
you can save yourself…because you can't. One way or another, you and Alice will
be together."

Suddenly I felt sick and suddenly I realized how stupid I was for coming here.
I had been prepared to fight her off with my bare hands if I had to, but what
could I possibly do against a threat like this? Part of me clutched at
disbelief, screaming into my inner ear that she was bluffing, that she'd never
kill anyone…but the rest of me knew she was capable of anything.

I blinked rapidly. Two tears fell into my lap and dissolved into the dark
fabric of my dress. I looked up and gestured with a hand helplessly. "So this
is it?" I said, my voice wavering. "You're going to just feed me to Alice and I
don't even have a choice?"

"I'm sorry."

I sniffed and looked away. I put a knuckle between my teeth and tried not to
cry. The violins continued their jaunty tune and my hostess for the evening
smiled and stood from the table. Rosalie also rose and Victoria smoothed her
crimson dress against her torso, looking down at me with her smile.

"Take heart, Miss Swan," she said. "In Alice's blood starved state your
survival in her arms is hardly guaranteed. Perhaps you'll die anyway and all
your troubles will be over. We'll see what destiny has in store for us, hm?"

—

Within the hour we had pulled up at the airport. Victoria had driven her red
convertible directly onto the runway where a private jet was already waiting.
It had rained briefly and she left the car parked slanted on the wet black
tarmac as she climbed out in her evening dress. Rosalie opened the back door
for me and I stepped out. A cold wind passed through my hair and over my bare
shoulders, but I was numb with other weathers. Rosalie took my arm, almost
comfortingly, and together with our dresses flapping in the wind we walked
toward the plane.

Halfway across my cellphone chirped. It was in the blonde's handbag and I
watched her fish it out and glance at the caller ID. Then she hit disconnect
and tossed the phone over her shoulder where it clattered on the tarmac. Before
we'd gone much further I heard it ring again.

Victoria was already climbing the steps into the plane. A pilot stood at the
open door and a blonde woman had come out to greet the redhead with a kiss on
each cheek. She wore a fur coat, a satin halter, and tight designer jeans. She
was beautiful, maybe as young as twenty years old, but she didn't appear to be
a vampire. She and the redhead exchanged pleasantries in french and then the
redhead turned to me where I stood partly up the stairs.

"This is Tanya," she said. "We're staying at her Villa in France. It's her
plane."

The woman named Tanya looked me over, smiled, and gave me a nod. Then she
greeted Rosalie in the same way as Victoria, in french with a kiss on each
cheek, and then we all filed past the pilot and boarded the plane with the
hatchway closing behind us. No one asked for my passport or even ID.

I was led into a private cabin and directed to a seat at the window where I sat
staring sullenly at the wet and black runway as it rolled beneath us with the
engines rumbling quietly and gaining speed. Finally the wheels lifted and
retracted and we were in the air. Beneath us was utter blackness and in the
window all I could see was my glazed reflection. My eyes seemed sad and I
blinked them. I was still wearing my collar and after a while I lifted my
fingers and touched it. The girl in the glass touched her collar too and then I
let my hand fall into my lap.

"Would you like something to drink, Miss Swan?" asked Victoria.

I shook my head without looking at her. But the redhead rarely took no for an
answer, and she was already pouring me a glass of champagne. She sat beside me
and handed me the glass. I took it numbly. The seat was like a small couch and
we were squished very close together with the warmth of her hip against mine.
She put an arm around my shoulders and leaned into me like lover as she set the
champagne bottle on the coffee table before us.

I was staring down at the drink. I'd refused wine at dinner, but was there any
point refusing anymore? Did I honestly have any choice? All my life, did I ever
have any choice?

"Drink," Victoria urged gently.

I looked at her. She was so close I could smell her, an intoxicating scent of
musk and roses. I turned my eyes back to the glass and sipped. I hadn't eaten
since lunch and even that one sip was enough to make head tingle slightly.

Victoria smiled at my obedience. "It's laced with ecstasy," she said.

I looked at her in alarm.

But she only smiled wider and with the tip of her finger she urged the
champagne flute closer to my mouth. "Go ahead, my dear," she said. "It'll help
you relax. It's a ten hour flight and we'll have to amuse ourselves somehow."

I hesitated. I had never done drugs, never wanted to, never intended to. But as
I sat gazing into the bubbly yellow liquid I truly could not think of any
reason why I should give a fuck.

Victoria watched me for a moment and then she leaned to my ear. "Don't be
afraid, my dear," she whispered. "You know what's going to happen now. Whether
you want it or not."

She placed a kiss on my earlobe. She placed a kiss on my shoulder. We were
alone in the cabin aside from the two blondes who stood at the bar fixing
themselves drinks, and I shrank away from her lips slightly. My skin burned
where they had touched and her scent was so strong. Vampire pheromones had
their own way of messing with your head but at this point my head was already
messed up. I looked down at the champagne and finally I just lifted the flute
and drank down a long gulp that splashed into my stomach and almost made me
cough. Then I drank some more.

"Good girl," Victoria purred, and then she took up the bottle from the coffee
table and poured my glass full again. "Tell me, Miss Swan. Would it surprise
you to learn that Alice isn't the only one who has missed you all this time? I
believe I can speak for all my sisters when I say we were terribly disappointed
not to welcome you into the coven. We all agreed you'd be a fine addition."

The lights were low in the cabin and the two blondes had put music on. A sultry
dance beat. When I looked over the woman named Tanya had removed her fur coat
and she was dancing with Rosalie. She was shorter than Rosalie and she gazed up
at her as they danced with a naked lust in her eyes.

Victoria glanced at them, smiled, and turned back to me. Her arm was still
wrapped around my shoulders and she leaned to me confidentially. "Don't tell
Rosalie," she said, "but I think it was me who missed you most. Perhaps even as
much as Alice, albeit without the accompanying theatrics. I had my heart set on
making a slave of you, and it was a terrible disappointment to leave you
behind. Such a lovely girl. How could I have never noticed before? Hm? Perhaps
it wasn't until you denied me that I realized how much I wanted you. I remember
you at the dance, so stubborn, so willful. So fucking beautiful…"

Her lips were kissing my neck and while she was kissing me I was watching the
two blondes. They were dancing very close and very slow and now the taller
blonde had reached into the back pocket of the other woman's jeans and
retrieved a small plastic bag filled with pills. She took one out and the
smaller blonde opened her mouth obediently. Rosalie teased her with it until
Tanya extended her tongue demandingly. The taller blonde touched the other
woman's tongue with a fingertip and finally she smirked and placed the pill on
the tip of her own tongue and leaned down and placed her tongue in the other
woman's mouth, causing the other woman to suck the pill down and swallow it as
she wrapped her arms around the taller woman's neck with her eyes falling
closed.

Victoria noticed me staring and she took my chin in her hand and turned my face
back to hers with a playful smile. "And now it seems I have my second chance at
you," she said. "Truth be told, I had intended to restore you to Alice
unmolested, but now that I see you, now that I smell you…I'm afraid I can't
resist. Can you resist me, Miss Swan? Hm? Can you?"

I didn't answer. She had leaned to me as she spoke and her lips were less than
an inch away from mine. I could feel the warmth of her breath and my head was
hazy from her scent. Yet when she went to kiss me I turned my face away and her
lips landed on my flushed cheek.

Victoria gave a sultry giggle. "Good," she said. "That's good. After all, we
wouldn't want to make it too easy, would we?"

She reached for the champagne bottle on the coffee table. The two blondes had
fed each other a few more pills and now they were taking off each other's
clothes. The smaller blonde's halter lay strewn on the cabin floor and the
taller blonde stroked her bare breasts for a moment before turning around and
lifting her long hair for the other blonde to unzip her dress. Victoria was
filling my glass. Already I felt drunk and a weird floaty feeling was building
inside me

"Drink, my dear, drink," the redhead urged with a smile. "The night is long and
you will be broken many times over. We'll have to spare your blood for Alice,
but Tanya is more than willing, and we'll have some fun together nonetheless."

The blonde's turquoise dress fell at her feet. She stepped from the pooled
satin in her tall heels and underneath she wore only a thong of matching
turquoise lace. I turned to the redhead who's hand had snaked into the slit of
my dress and was now caressing my naked thigh.

"Alice is dying," I said. "And you want to fuck?"

She smiled and licked her lips, fangs exposed. She didn't answer. She didn't
have to. And even though my tone was judgmental, I had no right to judge, not
as I sat there staring at her mouth with my whole body burning from the touch
of her fingers inside my dress.

"Don't be afraid, my dear," she whispered, leaning closer to my lips. "This was
always inevitable, and this time you won't escape me. Nor Alice. I will have
you both and both of you will belong to me forever. Hm? Wouldn't you like that,
Miss Swan? Wouldn't you want to be mine?"

My mouth was watering from desire for her kiss, but when I spoke I said: "No."

"Whyever not?"

I turned my face away, my head spinning with the movement. The dancetrack
pulsed in my ears and when I lifted my eyes I saw the two blondes dancing
rhythmically, each clad in heels and a thong and nothing else. Victoria
followed my eyes and turned back to me.

"Rosalie's so beautiful, isn't she?" she said. "You can have her, you know.
Right now, if you want. Rosalie will do anything I command and there's all
kinds of things I could command her to do to you. All you need to do is be a
good girl and ask nicely. Or even beg. Whichever feels more natural to you."

I turned my face back to the redhead, blinking slowly. She teased her lips
close to mine and it took all my willpower not to simply whimper and collapse
forward into her hot embrace.

"Say yes, Miss Swan," she whispered. "It's an eccentricity of mine, but I do
prefer my partners to be willing. Tell me yes. I hate to beg, but I want you so
badly…"

It was all too much and finally I gave up. This was the woman who ruined my
relationship with Alice. Who had now ruined my relationship with Lauren. Who
had taken me away from my mother. Who had threatened the people I loved. Who
had raped me and seduced me and made me cheat on my soulmate. Who had destroyed
my life in ways I never knew it could be destroyed. And now her lips were so
close to mine I could feel the soft plume of her breath on my mouth.

I'd fought against her for so long and so hard, but this was the end. I
couldn't do it anymore. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the drugs, or the
temptation of the redhead's pheromones, or maybe it was the complete and total
hopelessness of my situation. Whatever it was, it didn't matter. It made me
realize that the woman was irresistible. And that I didn't want to resist her
anymore. Not now. Not tonight.

So I leaned forward and let my lips touch hers. The release was blinding. They
were so warm, so soft, so full. Her venom tingled behind my eyelids and I
opened my mouth. Her tongue came in and I moaned as she deepened the kiss, her
tongue swirling around my mouth. Finally she broke the kiss, smiled, and hopped
off the seat. She took up the champagne bottle from the coffee table and turned
to me with it.

"A toast, then," she said, as she refilled my glass. She then hiked up her
dress around her hips and straddled my lap, champagne bottle in hand. "To you,
my dear," she said. "We've had our problems, you and I, but from now on, we'll
be perfect sisters."

She clinked the bottle against my glass and drank out of it. I sipped and
sipped again. I wasn't sure if the drugs were working yet, but my whole body
was hot and my head was reeling. Victoria smiled and took the glass out of my
hand and placed both the glass and the bottle on the coffee table. She then
leaned to my mouth, took my face in her hands, and began making out with me.

I closed my eyes and moaned, wrapping my arms around her. After a while her
lips descended on my neck and I tilted my head back. When I opened my eyes I
saw the blonde watching me jealously across the cabin. She had hoisted herself
up on the bar with her legs open and the other blonde was kneeling at her pussy
and eating it out.

Victoria had been fingering herself as she straddled my lap and with a smirk
she leaned back so I could see better. Her red panties were peeled aside and
she let me watch as she inserted two fingers deep inside herself, moaning
attractively. Then she smiled and said:

"Open your mouth, my dear."

I opened my mouth. She withdrew her fingers from her pussy and eased them past
my lips. They were slathered with her arousal and I licked it all off hungrily
and started sucking them with my eyes closed.

"Good girl," she whispered. "I'll make a slave of you yet."

Then she pulled her fingers out of my mouth and kissed me.

—

I didn't sleep all night and in the morning I felt shattered but not unhappy.
It was spring time in Paris and the sun was shining very brightly. I rode in
the back seat with my forehead pressed to the window. Numb, resigned,
indifferent. Tanya was driving and babbling in french. We'd been introduced
last night. She spoke no english but she seemed pleased to meet me. At least
that's how it felt when she mashed her bare tits against mine and stuck her
tongue down my throat.

Some of the streets of Paris were cobbled and bumpy and I was jostling gently
in the back seat, staring out at this unfamiliar city, the brick buildings, the
quaint cafes, the tip of the Eiffel tower protruding beyond a skyline of red
rooftiles. The villa where the Cullen's were staying was located on the
outskirts of town. The car halted for a large iron gate to grind open and then
we drove in, crunching across the graveled courtyard and around an old stone
fountain were a mermaid reclined upon a rock in the forenoon sun.

The estate was huge and when the car parked before the front entrance we all
got out except for Tanya. She bid adieu and drove on and Victoria and Rosalie
led me up the front steps and into the foyer. The floor was marble and the
walls were hung with art. A double marble staircase with a gold balustrade
wound up into the upper levels and at the base of the staircase stood Leah.

She appeared to be waiting for me, but she said nothing. She looked exactly the
same as I remembered her, dressed all in black with her black hair wild about
her shoulders, leaning back against the banister with her arms folded under her
breasts. Jane was sitting on the banister beside her with her pale blonde hair
that reminded me so much of Lauren's. Leah gave me a nod as Victoria and
Rosalie led me up the stairs, but there seemed to be nothing to say, and no one
said anything.

They led me down a balcony toward a room at the end. The door was painted white
with a gold doorknob. Victoria turned the doorknob, pushed open the door, and
went in.

The door opened upon a bedroom. The tall palladian windows faced to the east
and the windows were open and the sun set the silk curtains aglow as they
tousled gently in the morning breeze. The bed was large and there was a
transparent white curtain drawn around the canopy. A figure sat in a chair on
the far side of the bed with a book in her lap. It was Esme, and when she saw
me she rose. She looked at the figure on the bed and looked at me again. Then
she laid her book on the chair and left the room, pausing only to give me a sad
glance as she went by.

"Come," Victoria said, and she took my hand and led me to the bedside with
Rosalie trailing behind us.

Through the flimsy material of the silk curtain I could see a small figure
laying on the pillow. Already tears had filled my eyes and my heart was
throbbing in my chest. Victoria took the tasseled rope and pulled on it to
retract the curtain. The figure behind it was Alice.

My heart stopped.

The world stopped.

Her eyes were closed and for a second I thought that we were too late. Her face
which had always been so vibrant and pretty was now pale and drawn. Her eyelids
were paper-thin and webbed with veins and I could see the bulge of her eyeballs
darting beneath them. Her black hair was dull and her lips white and cracked. A
sheen of sweat covered her thin and candle-colored skin and in a quavery voice
I said:

"Alice."

A delicate breath gasped in the silence. With visible effort her translucent
eyelids fluttered open and slowly her glazed eyes settled on mine. She looked
at me for a long moment and then, in a voice closer to death than life, she
said:

"Bella."

—

***** Chapter 29 *****
—

Chapter 29:

—

"Baby?" gasped Alice. "Is that really you?"

The raspy frailness of her voice pierced my heart like a knife. I sat on the
edge of bed as if my legs had given way. I touched her face. Tears were already
in my eyes.

"Yes," I whispered. "It's me."

A soft moan escaped her. Her honey-colored eyes were dull and glassy and they
fell shut as she turned her face slightly to my hand. Her lips moved as if she
meant to speak but nothing came out. Suddenly her face swam away as all my old
love came swelling into my eyes. Tears began to drip blinkless onto my cheeks.

"Oh god, Alice," I sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

"No," she rasped. "It was me… It was me who…"

"Alice, shh. Don't talk."

"No, I have to… I have to…"

"Alice, please."

She shook her head, a subtle movement. Her black hair lay splayed on the pillow
and her face was whiter than the pillowcase. She licked her dry lips and tried
to talk.

"Listen," she said, her voice coming out in a dry almost inaudible gasp. "I
have to tell you. I, I love you. I…"

"I know, Alice."

"No, I…"

"Shh," I whispered. "It's okay, Alice. It's okay. Vicky… Vicky came to visit
me."

She tilted her head slightly to look at Victoria. She was standing beside me
with her arms folded and a impassive expression on her face. Rosalie stood
behind her, watching over her mistress's shoulder. I blinked at them, tears
falling freely, and then I turned back to Alice, fixing my mouth into a watery
smile.

"She said you haven't been feeding."

"Vicky did…?"

I nodded and ran out of words. How could I possibly explain the situation to
her?

A hand fell on my shoulder. Victoria's. She caressed me as if to set me at ease
and smiled at Alice. Her voice came out soft and slightly chiding, like talking
to a willful child. "Since you so stubbornly refused to visit her," she said,
"we decided to go see her ourselves. You know we couldn't let you waste away
like this, Alice."

Rosalie stepped around the bed and climbed gracefully in. She lay beside Alice
like a kitten and gazed at her face gently. "We bought her back for you,
Alice," she whispered. "You have to feed."

"I can't."

"Please. Don't let us lose you."

Alice's eyes closed as if she were troubled. Light from the tall windows cast a
sickly sheen over her pallid face. She shook her head.

The three of us were looking at her silently, three tips of a triangle with
Alice in the center. Mistress, wife, soulmate. Alice's own romantic trinity. In
our own ways we had all loved her as much as we were able and yet none of us
had been able to sate the monstrous hunger in her heart. Now she was dying.

Finally she opened her eyes. Her pale eyelids fluttered like butterfly wings
and slowly her eyes focused on me, her lips struggling to form words. But when
her eyes flickered over my neck she went absolutely still. Then she said:

"You're wearing your collar."

It was true, I was. I touched my neck reflexively and felt the black leather
under my fingertips, still sitting beside her on the bed. Regardless of why, I
was still wearing it, and seeing her like this, so hurt, so broken, made it
seem as if I was wearing it specifically for this moment. So she could see, so
she could know. So I smiled with tears in my eyes, cupped her cheek, and made
my voice as gentle as possible.

"Of course I am," I told her. "You know I could never forget you, Alice. I
belong to you, remember?"

A soft moan of joy escaped her. She tried to speak but the strain caused her
eyes to roll up into her head for a moment. Victoria interjected, taking
advantage of the moment.

"We found Miss Swan in a tragic state," she claimed. "She missed you terribly.
Whatever happened between you, Alice, she never hated you as you feared. She
never moved on. She couldn't. She's your soulmate, remember? When we told her
what was happening to you…she was so desperate to return to your side. She
wants you to live as much as we do. Don't you, Miss Swan?"

Victoria's voice was perfectly natural, and while the lies left me cold inside,
I couldn't possibly contradict her. Alice was dying and I realized now that I
couldn't handle that. So I turned to my shattered soulmate and smiled as if I
had always loved her, never stopped, never will.

"Of course," I said. My voice fumbled slightly, but as soon as the words were
out I gained confidence, and went on more naturally. "Of course I do. I never
wanted to lose you, Alice. I never meant all those things I said at prom. I
don't hate you. I love you. I'll always love you. You know I will."

Rosalie was still laying on the bed beside Alice. She was propped on an elbow
and she'd been watching Alice's face anxiously, but as I spoke she turned her
eyes to me with an expression I'd never seen on her face. Surprise, with a hint
of shame; as if she'd underestimated me somehow.

Victoria was leaning a hip against the bedside table, arms folded, cold,
business-like. Eyes completely dry, face totally untroubled. She gave me a nod,
as if to congratulate me on the performance.

But it wasn't a performance. I meant every word, and there was more I had to
say, much more, but I couldn't go on. My throat had closed over and I started
sobbing quietly. I hadn't slept in over twenty four hours, I hadn't eaten in
almost as long, my head was wracked from a long night of drugs, alcohol,
hardcore group sex, and the emotional turmoil of being ripped from my loving
mother and dream girlfriend. All this was Alice's fault and I still loved her.

I loved her so much.

Alice watched me cry for a second and tried to raise her voice. "Baby," she
said. It was still a whisper, but stronger than it had been since I sat at her
side. "Baby, it's okay. You were right."

"No, Alice."

"Yes. I was…stupid. I thought… I thought that was the only way. But I was
wrong. This… This is the only way."

I shook my head, my face wet with tears. I didn't want any more of her
craziness; I just wanted to make her feel better. That's all I wanted. I opened
my mouth to tell her, but she spoke first, her eyes squeezed closed from the
effort.

"Yes," she insisted in a death-like hiss. "This is how… How I can prove I love
you. The only way…"

My head was still shaking and my eyes were still streaming. Victoria bowed her
head at Alice's words. Rosalie's eyes glistened, staring at Alice's face. She
touched Alice's cheek to try and draw her attention and said:

"Alice."

Alice ignored her. She looked at me where I sat crying beside her on her
deathbed and a fey smile curved her ashen lips. "Don't cry, baby," she
whispered. "It's okay. I love you."

"Alice, please," I blurted suddenly. "Love doesn't need proof, okay? Please,
just… Just feed from me and we'll talk about this later. Okay?"

I reached for the clasp of my collar but Alice's hand moved. It came no where
close to stopping me, but the movement was enough to freeze me. Her hand was
skeletal and her forearm looked like a petrified branch of birchwood. It lifted
a few inches off the bed, trembled like a leaf, and fell again.

"No," she whispered. "No, I have… I have to tell you…"

Rosalie was still laying at her side, a rising desperation in her perfect face.
"Don't strain yourself, Alice," she said. "Please, you have to feed."

Alice went on as if she hadn't heard. Her face was so thin and gaunt that her
eyes looked like alien eyes, so huge they seemed and so long lashed. She kept
them focused on me and even in her wasted state the beauty of them was
breathtaking. A small light had began to shine in them and her voice came out
soft and determined.

"Before I die," she whispered. "I have to tell you…"

"Tell me what, Alice?"

"I love you. You're the best. You always were. I love you, I…"

My whole face trembled. I had to fight for the power of speech. "I love you,
too," I said, then reached again for my collar. "Now, please. Just…"

But again her hand lifted. She didn't have the strength to lift it far but it
looked so frail and helpless in the air that I relinquished my collar instantly
and took her hand in both of mine, as if afraid it might break off from her
arm. Her skin was cold and clammy, but the tingles that rushed through me were
no different from the tingles I'd felt in that very first biology class. She
gave me a weak smile and shook her head gently.

"I can't, baby," she said. "I can't feed from you. You'll die. I wouldn't be
able to…control myself."

That seemed like a silly concern at this point, so I just petted her hand and
returned her smile feebly. "I don't care, Alice," I told her, completely
earnest. "Just do it, okay?"

"No."

"Alice, please. It's okay. You were right, back at prom. This is the only way.
Just do it. I don't care. I can't let you die alone, Alice. We'll die together,
okay? Don't leave me here without you."

Victoria watched me with sharp eyes. "Don't encourage her, Miss Swan," she said
sternly. "It's her ridiculous notions of true love that have led you to this
predicament. For once in your miserable life be strong and take control of your
relationship."

Alice didn't seem to hear. She had smiled at my words but she remained totally
unswayed. "It's okay, baby," she said. "It's better like this. You'll be okay.
You're stronger than me. You'll…"

A wave of dizziness seemed to wash over her and her words were lost in a soft
moan as her eyes rolled and closed. Rosalie and I watched with tears brimming
from our eyes, but Victoria was unmoved. She unleaned from the bedside table
and leaned to my ear. Even though Alice was fading away in a rising tide of
weakness and exhaustion she kept her voice low so Alice wouldn't hear.

"If Alice dies, you die too," she said. "Make her feed. Tell her you trust her
not to harm you."

I was still holding Alice's hand. I caressed it and whispered to her
insistently.

"Alice? Alice, it's okay. Listen. I love you. I trust you. If you still want to
kill me, you can do it later. We'll talk about it, okay? We'll make it special.
But I can't let you die like this. So please. Just feed from me, okay? Just a
bit, just to make you stronger. I know you'll never hurt me. I trust you. I
always trusted you, remember?"

Alice had listened with her eyes closed and now she was shaking her head.

"No," she whispered. "I can't risk…"

"Please."

"I can't. I can't, baby."

"Why?"

"Because," she whispered. The question seemed to please her and she managed a
frail smile as she opened her eyes. "This," she said. "This is what true love
really is. It's not you. It's me. It doesn't matter how you feel. It's only how
I feel. It's not you that has to die. It's me…"

I bit my lip, clutching her hand. She was still crazy. Still completely crazy.
I sniffed and let go with one of my hands and touched it to Alice's cheek,
cupping it lovingly. Her skin was cold, so cold. Rosalie was still laying at
her side and she watched my hand as it touched her wife's face, her eyes
trembling and full of tears.

"Alice, please," I said. "We'll talk about all this later. Please, just…"

Alice wasn't listening. She lifted her other hand and pressed it against mine,
holding it against her cheek. Her hand was thin, bony, cold as ice. She let her
eyes fall shut and nuzzled my hand with her cheek.

"It's okay," she whispered. "Don't you see, baby? I love you more than I love
myself. Isn't it wonderful?"

"No," I sobbed. "It's crazy. Stop it, Alice. Please."

The strain was becoming too much for her and she swallowed with an audible
click. Her voice came out in broken gasps. "I can't," she said. "I love you,
baby. This was… This is… My destiny. I love… I love…"

It was too much for even the icy heart of Rosalie. A sob broke from the frail
mask of her face and she sprung off the bed. She tore open the door and slammed
it behind her.

Alice still had her eyes closed, pressing my hand to her face. She hadn't
seemed to notice Rosalie's departure.

Victoria had. Her head turned to watch her lover flee the room and for a second
she looked at the closed door. She blinked once and I was astounded to see a
single tear slide down her cheek. She bowed her head, shook it briefly, and
when she turned back to the scene of me and Alice her expression was darker
than I'd ever seen it.

"Enough of this stupidness," she said, and then she seized a handful of my hair
and violently wrenched me off the bed away from Alice.

A moan of sheer despair came from somewhere deep inside my dying soulmate and
she reached for me wildly with both hands. But she was weak, so weak, and her
sudden burst of strength only caused her to topple out of the bed and collapse
in a broken heap on the floor, twisted in the bedcovers. She wore a frilly
cotton nightgown and the material stuck to her sweaty stick-thin body.

"Bella," she rasped, struggling to sit up. "Bella."

I whimpered in pain as Victoria yanked my head back by the hair to expose my
neck. She tore the collar off, letting it fall to the floor before Alice, and
then she clutched her hand around my throat as if to strangle me. I tried to
say Alice's name but nothing came out. I couldn't even breathe.

"Listen to me carefully, Alice," Victoria said. "You want destiny? I'll give
you destiny. Feed from her now or I'll snap her neck before your very eyes and
the last thing you'll see as you leave this world is your one true love broken
into pieces like all your other silly dreams. Do you understand?"

Alice lay crumpled in the floor like a broken bird, face in the rug and her
wasted body lost in her nightgown. She lifted herself a little and collapsed
again. "Don't," she gasped. "Don't hurt…"

Victoria loosened her grip on my throat and dragged a red fingernail across my
jugular. She looked down at the twisted girl at her feet and said:

"When will you learn, Alice? There is no happily ever after. All things end
badly – or else they'd never end at all."

She then slashed my throat with her fingernail and threw me on the floor beside
Alice.

It didn't even hurt. I was beyond pain. The only pain I felt was Alice's pain,
and without thinking or hesitating, I gathered up her broken form in my arms.
Her head lolled on her shoulders and a desperate moan came from her chest at
the scent of my blood. She was nothing but bones and cloth. She weight nothing.
Hot blood pumped from my throat and before too much was wasted I steadied her
head with my hands and pressed her face into the gushing wound, rocking her
cold body gently like a child as she whimpered and began to feed, the two of us
broken at Victoria's feet with Victoria looking on, silent and watchful like
some kind of goddess.

—

***** Chapter 30 *****
—

Chapter 30:

—

I was comatose for days and drifting in and out of consciousness for days more.
I dreamt of Alice and nothing but Alice. Alice's smile, Alice's body, Alice's
lilting giggle. Alice with blood on her mouth. Alice in pain. Alice screaming.

One morning I woke with a gasp from a nightmare and saw a woman at my bedside,
removing the IV tubes from my arm. I didn't know where I was. I blinked and
tried to get my eyes to focus on the woman. The windows were open and her short
blonde hair glowed radiantly in the morning sun like an angel. She wore gold
hoops in her ears and she smiled at me with lips painted pastel pink.

"Well," she said. "How are you feeling?"

His voice seemed familiar.

Wait.

His?

I squinted at the woman where she stood bathed in sunlight and oh shit. It was
him. The doctor guy.

Carlisle.

Only he was wearing makeup and woman's clothes and he looked exactly like a
woman. An awkward smile appeared on my lips and my voice came out dry and
raspy. "You're a chick?" I asked doubtfully.

She was coiling the IV tubes and she smiled at the word chick. "I was born
Clarisse, but I often use the name Carlisle," she said. "I only pretend to be a
man when we establish a residence."

"Why?"

"It was more important in the past, when it was…improper for women to travel
without an escort. Even these days there are certain advantages to having a man
around the house." She had hung the cords on the IV pole beside the bed and now
she was helping me sit up against the headboard. "How are you feeling?" she
asked again.

I didn't answer. I was still tripping over the fact that he was a woman – and a
pretty fucking hot one. She was adjusting the pillow behind my head and I
blushed slightly at the proximity. He was always a prettyboy, but with a light
dusting of makeup across her delicately handsome features and the earrings
dangling from her ears she was outright gorgeous. I checked her body quickly,
and yep; bumps in her blouse and no bulge at all in the tight crotch of her
jeans.

She noticed my glances, smirked, and straightened up. "You were out for nine
days," she said. "You lost a great deal of blood. Ironically, it was Victoria
who saved your life. Alice would've drained you completely if Victoria hadn't
pulled her off."

Suddenly I felt a stab in my heart. "Is Alice okay?" I asked quickly.

The doctor nodded; I settled back against the pillow slowly.

Alice was okay.

Alice was…

"You're going to be just fine as well," she said. "You had quite a nasty gash,
so you'll have to be very careful for a while. Even a bad sneeze could reopen
the wound. You're very lucky to be alive."

It took me a moment to process that. Then I squinted an eye at her skeptically.
"Lucky?"

The doctor smiled at my wryness and shrugged slightly. "In a medical sense,"
she said. "Emotionally? I can't even imagine what you must be going through."

Neither could I. My eyes drifted as I tried to isolate some feeling inside me.
But there was nothing. Nothing at all. The doctor watched me for a second and
then she handed me the glass of water that was sitting on the bedside table.

"Sip slowly," she instructed. "You can have something to eat soon."

Suddenly I realized how thirsty I was. I licked my dry lips and drank. The
water sang in my head like alcohol and I drank again. My throat hurt as I
swallowed and with my other hand I touched my neck and winced painfully. It was
wrapped with gauze. The doctor was watching me with an expression that was
almost fond and after a while she spoke.

"All love requires sacrifice," she said. "You were willing to leave your home
and your mother in a moment's notice as soon as you heard Alice was in danger.
You were willing to risk your life itself." She smiled and said softly: "You're
a very special girl, Miss Swan."

I lowered my eyes without answering. She didn't know that I hadn't been
willing. That I'd been threatened, intimidated, coerced. But I didn't correct
her. Because the feeling that began to brood in the pit of stomach wasn't anger
that I'd been ripped from my home. It was shame that I had to have been.

Alice had been dying. But it wasn't until I'd seen her dying when I realized
how unacceptable that was.

The doctor laid a hand over mine to get my attention. I looked at her.

"All I've ever wanted is for Alice to be happy," she said. "I know you'll make
her so."

The word Alice was beginning to affect me. The first few times she had said it
had caused hot flashes over my face and now I began to feel a strange heat
settle in my cheeks. A tightness formed in my chest and her name rang in my
head, Alice, Alice, Alice. It began to seem that I needed her. To see her, to
touch her. To kiss her. It was a familiar feeling.

Addiction.

The doctor's hand left mine and she took the water glass and set it back on the
bedside table. I followed it with my eyes, my mouth still dry but not thirsty
anymore. My lips wanted something else.

"Did you ever love her?" I asked.

"I did."

"What happened?"

She began unwrapping the gauze from my neck. "I'm not sure," she said. "Poor
timing, perhaps. Alice wasn't ready for a serious relationship at the time. She
never was, until she met you."

It was that word again. Alice. I licked my lips. The doctor had finished
unwrapping my neck and was peering to examine the wound. Where Victoria had cut
me. Where Alice had fed. Memories of the other night were slowly coming back
and I began to remember. How she dug her fingers into my back and moaned into
the blood. As she thrust her tongue into the wound and split it open wider,
making me quiver in pain as I clutched at her as hard as she clutched at me.
The memory made me blush. The doctor-chick's gorgeous face was close to mine
and I felt a strong impulse to kiss her. But instead I asked:

"Where is Alice?"

She stood up and smiled, wadding the gauze into a ball. "She was being such a
pest that we had to lock her up in her room to keep her away from your bedside.
Rosalie is with her now, keeping guard so she doesn't do anything rash. Your
difficulties are far from over, Miss Swan, but with a love as strong as the
love between you two, I'm sure you'll be fine."

I didn't answer. Alice wasn't here and Alice wasn't coming. For some reason I
had trouble understanding what this meant. It seemed like a problem. Alice
wasn't here. I wasn't ready to see her, and I had no idea what I'd say if I did
see her. But she wasn't here, and that didn't feel right.

The doctor watched my distracted expression for a moment and patted my hand.
"Rest for now," she said. "I'll send Esme with something to eat and to help you
dress."

The IV pole was mounted on little wheels and I watched her wheel it out, my
eyes drifting over her jeans. She turned at the door and gave me a smile with
her sexy face and backed out of the room. Then she closed the door. I lowered
my eyes and allowed myself a small smirk. Chick, huh? Yeah, well. I'd call her
daddy.

I heaved a sigh and looked around the room. The curtains were rustling in the
breeze and the sun was bright enough to make me squint. I hadn't seen sun that
bright in a while, and it made me realize that I really didn't give a fuck if
the sun was shining or not. The sight didn't cheer me or fill me with hope for
a bright future; it was just annoying.

So I sighed again and looked down into my lap while I tried to analyze the
strange emptiness inside me. It was probably some kind of post-traumatic
depression. After all, it's not everyday you get your throat torn open after
being abducted from your home by a psychotic redhead. An event like that would
take some of the giggle out of any girl. Apathy seemed like a reasonable
reaction. If I felt anything it would have to be despair, and I wouldn't mind
skipping that.

How long had I been out, anyway? I tried to remember what he said, but I
couldn't. Either way, I'd missed prom. Which sucked. So much for my dream
senior year. It had been great for a while, but I guess it wasn't meant to be.
I'd been so excited, too. It could've been the best prom ever, complete with
girlfriend-whom-I'd-been-crushing-on-my-whole-life . Lauren had looked so
amazing in her sapphire dress, and despite the semi-butch phase she was going
through, I knew she'd been excited about it as well.

And now it was all over. Prom was gone and Lauren probably hated me. Or was she
worried instead? I suppose when your girlfriend goes missing in the middle of
the night you wouldn't automatically be pissed, even if she had disappeared
with two of her ex-girlfriend's sisters. I wondered if Lauren even went to
prom, but I guess that might've been in poor taste. She probably spent the
night at home, crying into her unworn dress, clutching it to her chest and
mourning the loss of her girlfriend. She probably thought I was dead or
something. She couldn't possibly think I went back to Alice. Not after how I
promised her so faithfully that I wouldn't. That it was Lauren I loved. That
I'd never leave her. That I didn't love Alice anymore.

Alice.

The name flittered through my head and caused my breath to shorten.

Alice.

How could I have ever believed I didn't love her anymore? When I saw her so
pale and wasted it was like I'd never stopped. And maybe I hadn't. Even when I
was with Lauren, I'd kept those prom pictures. I'd worn the collar. I'd
remembered her, dreamed about her, fantasized about her. On my birthday I
wished she'd come back. Every day I'd reserve some corner of my heart for her.
Every day.

But why hadn't I been more eager to return to her? Why did I have to be
threatened? Was it because I loved Lauren more, so much that I couldn't leave
her, even for Alice? Or was it that I simply loved what Lauren represented?
Normalcy. Popularity. An easy relationship that didn't involve bloodletting.
Things had been so much simpler with Lauren. And so much better for mom.

Mom.

Maybe it was mom I didn't want to leave. She must be so worried by now. Did she
call the police? Probably. It would make more sense than posting flyers like
when you lose a dog. Did the police look for me? Mom would have told them I was
meeting Lauren, and Lauren would've told them I was meeting Victoria and
Rosalie. But did Lauren even know their names? She remembered them as Alice's
sisters, but I didn't know if she remembered what they were called. But I guess
it didn't matter. Either way, the trail ended there in Forks. If I'd been more
alert maybe I could've left a trail of breadcrumbs as the wicked witch marched
me off to the oven of my destiny, but life isn't a fairytale, and this little
Gretel always did long for the flames.

I was deep in my musings when I heard the door open, and turned to see the
momma-vamp, Esme, entering the room with breakfast on a silver tray. She smiled
at me and nudged shut the door with her hip. I didn't smile back.

"I'm not hungry," I said.

She paused halfway across the room, her smile faltering. Then she placed the
tray in my lap anyway. "I know," she said, "but you really ought to eat."

I looked down at the tray. Strawberry toast and a cup of gently steaming milk.
I shook my head and the momma-vamp gave me a worried look.

"How are you feeling, honey?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I'm alright."

A slight exaggeration, perhaps. The woman didn't reply for a while, she just
stood anxiously at my bedside while I sat there staring down at the tray. Then
she gave a small sigh and looked away toward the brightness in the open
windows.

"Well," she said. "I suppose there's not much to say, is there?"

Another shrug. "Guess not."

She shifted a chair closer to the bed and sat down, reaching to hold my hand.
The contact made me tingle. An awkward tingle, not at all like Alice. The woman
patted my hand and gave me a smile.

"I'm just glad you're here," she said. "I'm sorry you had to leave your mother,
but Alice can't live without you. She tried, she really did, but she can't. She
wanted you to move on and be happy. But she just couldn't forget you. And I
know you feel the same way or you never would've returned." Her grip on my hand
went tighter and her eyes went imploring. "Please," she said. "Promise me
you'll take care of her. I can't bare to see her hurt anymore."

I'd been looking at our clasped hands as she spoke and now I lifted my eyes to
hers. Victoria had let them all believe that I'd came willingly, and since I
found that I wanted to believe that too, I didn't correct her. I just nodded
and said:

"I promise."

She'd been waiting for a reply—as if I'd say anything else—and now she smiled
and let go of my hands. "Also, I need to apologize," she went on. "The last
time we met…do you remember?"

"Prom."

She shook her head once and a coy blush came over her face. "I don't know what
came over me," she said. Then she waved a hand. "Oh, that's a lie. I was
jealous. Of both of you. You had taken Alice away from us, and Alice kept you
all to herself. It was frustrating."

She giggled once, as if recalling some girlish silliness. I wondered how old
she was, appearance-wise. She seemed older than all the others, maybe as old as
thirty, thirty-five. I'd always liked older women. Then again, I'd always liked
any kind of attractive female.

"To be honest, I'm still jealous," she went on, blushing softly. "I wish I had
someone who loved me as much as you love Alice. Or as much as Alice loves you."

She said it while looking into my eyes. I got the feeling she was trying to
seduce me. It struck me as inappropriate given the circumstances, but vampires
were never paragons of propriety. Besides, wasn't she married?

"What about your husband?" I asked. Then I realized that husband wasn't really
accurate, so I added: "Wife. Partner. Whatever."

The woman gave a small shrug. "Well, we're very close," she said. "But the
thing we have most in common is our love for Alice. Alice is everything to us.
Far more than a daughter. It was nice to have her back for a while after we
left Forks, but I'm glad you've returned. I just hope you won't be quite so
rigid in your relationship this time. Monogamy is a fine concept, but vampires
only survive on blood and lust, and sometimes we have to share. Besides…Alice
is my soulmate, too, after all."

She said the last part with a playful smile, so I didn't bother informing her
that Alice didn't seem to agree. Instead, I asked: "Did Alice turn you?"

"Yes," she said. "I met her at an underground gay bar, a long time ago. My
marriage wasn't working out. Alice… Alice saved me."

Obviously there was a sad story in there somewhere, but she didn't elaborate
and I didn't ask. She simply smiled and gestured at the breakfast tray. The
milk had stopped steaming.

"Eat, honey," she said. "Before it gets cold."

It was already cold, but I looked down at the tray and picked up a piece of
toast. I only ate the one piece, and I wasn't really hungry for it. Alice's
venom was in my system, and my appetite was for other things.

When I was done eating the woman helped me out of bed and took me into the
adjoining bathroom. While she drew me a bath I looked into the mirror over the
sink. The wound in my neck was rough and red with black stitches poking out of
it. I touched it gently and felt nothing at all beside a wincing pain. I craned
my neck a little to see it better, but it hurt when I did, and it wasn't really
that fascinating, so I dropped my hand and turned away.

The woman was bent over the bath, swirling a hand in the water to gauge the
temperature. She wore a white dress with colorful dots and her ass was very
round beneath the fabric of her skirt. I wondered if she was going to try and
fuck me and then I wondered if I wanted her to. After a few seconds of
contemplation I discovered that I wasn't entirely adverse to the idea. Vampire
venom worked like an aphrodisiac, and I couldn't think of any reason why I
shouldn't. It wouldn't be the best way to demonstrate my renewed commitment to
Alice, and technically it would be cheating on Lauren, but my mood was
masochistic enough that I didn't seem to care. I even decided to provide the
momma-vamp with a little encouragement.

I was wearing a huge white t-shirt and nothing underneath. I took it off and
let it fall on the bathroom tiles and when she turned around she found me
completely naked. She straightened up in surprise and I just stood there,
waiting to see what she'd do. My nipples went hard at contact with her eyes.
She searched my eyes for a moment, and then she approached. She pretend to
examine the wound in my neck, using it as an excuse to get her face closer to
mine. She touched it gently with a finger.

"Does it hurt, honey?" she asked.

I watched her face. "Not really."

She smiled at me and let her hand descend on my bare shoulder. She caressed it.
"You're a very brave girl," she said, and then she kissed me on the cheek.

Just that one little kiss was enough to convince me that this was a good idea.
I had felt so empty inside since I woke up, so hurt, so hopeless. But the touch
of her lips, any lips, made me feel something. I didn't know if it was a good
thing, but it was better than nothing, so I turned my face to hers and caught
her lips with mine as she went to kiss my cheek again.

We deepened the kiss and I moaned softly with her venom swirling nicely in my
mouth and after a while I pulled off her dress. She wore no bra and her breasts
felt so soft and lovely against mine. Eventually both our hands were pushing
her panties down and finally we stepped into the bath, first me, then her. She
washed me and washed my hair and then we took turns sitting on the rim of the
tub as we ate each other out. Then we cuddled in the cooling water and talked
about Alice.

She told me how Alice was the first woman she'd ever been with, the first woman
she'd ever loved, the only woman she'd ever loved. Her voice took the tone of a
confession and she told me that she was no better than Victoria, that the only
reason she was so fascinated with me was because Alice was, and that being with
me was the closest she could get to being with Alice, and that she missed Alice
so badly. She explained that she was sorry, that she couldn't help herself, and
she went on to assure me that I was a very beautiful girl and that she liked me
very much and that she'd love to accept me into the coven. She was confident
that I'd make Alice happy and that Alice's happiness was all that mattered to
her. She only wished that Alice would let the rest of the coven make her happy,
too.

I listened in silence, and when she was done, I turned to her and kissed her
slowly on the mouth. I felt sorry for her. I knew what it was like to love
Alice, but I couldn't imagine what it would be like if Alice didn't love you
back.

Eventually she took me back into the room and sorted me some clothes and
underwear, explaining that they belonged to Leah and me and Leah were a similar
size. I was flattered at the comparison, but I knew for a fact Leah was taller.
She helped me put the stuff on, a black leather skirt, a black tanktop, and
then she sat me on the edge of the bed and crouched at my feet and zipped up my
boots. She asked me if I was ready to see Alice, but I shook my head. She
nodded, as if she understood, and rose. She told me that Leah and Jane were
eager to see me as well, and I could find them out by the pool. She smirked and
said I should go say hello.

The pool was outdoors and soon I was wandering out into the sun with my hand
shading my eyes. Jane and Leah were at poolside, looking up at the diving board
where that woman, Tanya, was preparing to dive. She was wearing a white one-
piece bathingsuit that looked beautiful against her tanned skin. Jane called
out something to her and made a wolf whistle, but Leah had noticed me and gave
Jane a nudge. Jane lost interest in the other woman instantly and grinned.

"Bella!" she squealed, and quickly came running over. She wore a yellow bikini
and her blonde hair was wet. She charged into me and wrapped me into a hug.
"Boy, it's nice to see you again," she said. "Funny how you don't realize how
much you like someone till they're gone, huh?"

I chuckled in surprise at the unexpectedly affectionate greeting and hugged her
back. Her body was wet, small, similar to Alice's. Over her shoulder I saw Leah
approaching, clad in nothing but a black bikini and a smirk. My heart quickened
at the sight of her. I'd always liked Leah.

"Hey," she said. "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged as Jane released me. "I'm alright," I said.

Up on the diving board Tanya was waiting with a pretty frown for attention to
refocus on her, her long blonde hair stuck wetly to her back, her body radiant
with vampire venom. It was like being at a Sport Illustrated swimsuit shoot.
Jane glanced up at her and turned back to me with a grin.

"Tanya's jealous," she whispered. "She thinks you're going to steal her
spotlight."

I looked up at Tanya. She glared back briefly and then turned and dived, an
elaborate double backflip that might've been intended to make me envious. It
did, a little bit.

Jane cheered and ran up to help the other blonde out of the pool. Leah motioned
with her head to where a row of sunchairs were arranged at poolside and we went
over and sat down as Jane climbed up to the diving board with Tanya shouting
French encouragement from below.

I watched the two blondes take turns on the diving board and after a while Leah
asked:

"So you couldn't stay away, huh?"

I smiled to myself. "Guess not."

"Think you can handle her this time?"

"I don't know."

Leah was reclining on the sunchair and I was perched on the edge of it. I
turned to look at her. She had one arm beneath her head and her eyes were
closed. I let my eyes roam across her body, admiring her coppercolored skin,
her toned torso, her muscular legs. I looked at how the black material of her
bikini hugged the contours of her crotch and it seemed weird that I'd been so
desperate to cling to my old life. It was probably just the venom in my system,
but it was really nice to see Leah again – especially dressed like this.

When my eyes roamed back to her face her eyes were open and she was smiling at
me.

"Did you ever close the deal on Lauren?" she asked.

I didn't answer for a second. Neither the doctor or the momma-vamp knew that
I'd had a girlfriend after Alice, and Alice herself had no idea either.
Victoria had told her that I was miserable without her, that I was desperate to
go back to her. In the heat of the moment I had agreed.

And now? I suppose I could've set the record straight, but it didn't seem
important. I'd missed prom, and technically I was already back together with
Alice. So I just shook my head and said: "Nah."

Leah watched my face as if she knew I was lying. "How come?" she asked.

I shrugged and turned back to the pool. "I guess I just couldn't forget Alice,"
I said.

Sunlight was glistening off the water and Tanya and Jane were having sex in the
corner, Tanya pressed up against the wall of the pool with Jane kissing at her
neck. You could see in their faces that they were fingering each other in the
water. Tanya saw me looking and smirked before whispering some French nothing
to Jane. Jane bit her in response and Tanya closed her eyes and drew the
vampire closer.

"She's pretty," I said.

"Tanya?" Leah inquired. "Yeah. She's hot."

"I guess she's my replacement."

Leah chuckled once and sat up beside me. "Well," she said. "Not all of us are
as single-minded as Alice. Tanya's pretty great. Young, beautiful, rich.
French. She even puts out as much as you did. And without all the Alice-related
drama, too. We really lucked out with her. Jealous?"

"Yes," I said. Jane had lowered one of the shoulder straps of Tanya's swimsuit
and was groping the exposed breast. It wasn't as big as mine, but that didn't
make me feel better.

"Don't be," Leah said. "We're all thrilled to have you back. To keep this time,
right?"

Leah's hand appeared on my shoulder and I turned my face toward her slightly. I
looked at her lap, feeling a familiar hunger swirl in my stomach, and then I
lifted my eyes to her face. "Did you miss me?" I asked.

She took the question seriously and nodded. "Of course I did," she said,
caressing my shoulder. "We could've been good sisters, me and you. With you in
the coven I'd finally have someone to go shopping with who shares my taste."
Then she smiled and flickered her eyes over my body. "Speaking of taste," she
said. "Are you as yummy as you always were?"

I smirked as I realized she was seducing me. I batted my eyelashes and looked
at her lips as if to invite her to find out for herself if I'm still yummy. She
took the hint, leaned forward, and pressed her lips to mine. I opened my mouth
and let her lay me back against the deckchair, relaxing under both the sun and
her delicious tongue-work.

Soon I had my hand inside her bikini briefs and she had her hand up my leather
skirt and soon we were moaning and climaxing together. Jane and Tanya had
wandered over, both of them naked, their swimsuits floating in the pool like
strange fish. Tanya took Leah's face and pressed it to the fresh bite in her
neck. Jane straddled the deckchair over my face and squatted her pussy over my
mouth. I ate it out, craning my neck to get my tongue inside her, and after she
came she giggled and pulled me onto my feet and stripped off all my clothes and
threw me naked into the pool. She jumped in after me, giggling and splashing
and groping me under the water like a tentacled seamonster. Finally she set me
on the edge of the pool, opened my legs, and went down on me. The wound in my
throat had began to reopen and a thin pink serum leaked down my neck as I
lifted my wet face to the sun and panted away another climax.

An hour later I was back in the house, getting resewn and bandaged by the
doctor-chick. I was sitting on the edge of a bed, dressed in nothing but
underwear and a towel wrapped around me, my hair damp and hanging. I watched
her face as she worked, marveling at how sexy she was now that I knew she was a
woman. I'd always thought he was hot in a detached kind of way, but now I
actually felt how hot he was. She was. I remembered how mom used to swoon over
him and I had to smirk. I wonder what she'd say if she knew?

But thinking about mom made me sad, so instead I focused on eyeing the good
doctor's lips lustfully. She noticed me watching her and I said:

"You're hotter as a chick."

She was wrapping the gauze around my neck and she smiled at me briefly. "That's
very bold of you to say," she said.

"Bet you'd like to fuck me."

This time she paused in the wrapping. Then she resumed. "That's even bolder,"
she said.

I waited for her to try something, but she didn't, she only finished the
wrapping and put the roll of gauze back into the first aid kit. I frowned and
said: "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Wanna fuck me? You might as well. You're the only one who hasn't."

She closed the first aid kit and smiled. She turned to me and said: "Miss Swan,
sometimes after a severe injury, a patient can develop symptoms of—"

But I wasn't interested. I was well-aware that I wasn't myself, and even more
aware that I didn't want to be myself. Because if I was myself I'd be losing my
mind in a nest of psychotically slutty lesbian vampires while my mom and my
girlfriend were likely losing their own minds with worry thousands of miles
away. And that wouldn't make me a very good person.

So I didn't bother even attempting to listen to any kind of medical explanation
for my condition. I just opened the towel, leaned back, and spread my legs. She
stopped speaking and looked me over as I gazed expectantly at her handsome
face. Finally she gave a soft sigh and started unbuttoning her blouse.

"Well, if you insist," she said.

A weak seduction, perhaps, but it did the trick. She had a very mature style,
very gentle, very assertive. She seemed to realize that what I needed was
contact, comfort, and she gave it to me. The foreplay was long and thorough and
soon she'd fetched a strap-on from the bedside drawer and fucked me with it
slowly, making me moan and hiss with pain at certain thrusts as I wrapped my
legs around her hips and stared up her face and began to move my body with hers
as the orgasm built inside me.

When she was done I was shivery and weak and she held me and stroked my naked
back and talked to me in a low voice. She told me that I was relapsing from
Alice's venom, and that I was suffering from post-traumatic depression, and
that it was going to be a while before I felt okay again. She said my recovery
would proceed quicker with Alice's love and then she asked when I planned to go
see Alice.

I didn't answer. I thought about Alice, trying to call back the love I'd felt
the other night when I'd seen her dying, the love and the desperation to make
her better. But I couldn't. All I felt was that same emptiness I'd woken up
with.

"I understand how difficult this must be for you, Miss Swan," she said, "but
it's difficult for Alice as well. For both your sakes, I'm going to have to
insist that you see her tonight. Is that acceptable?"

"Okay," I mumbled.

She stroked my back and placed a kiss on my hair. "Thank you," she said. Then I
heard a soft chuckle in her chest. "I'll advise Rosalie to have Alice wear
something nice."

I smiled. Nice guy, Carlisle. Girl. Whatever. I fell asleep with my face
against her shoulder and her arms around me.

When I woke up it was dimmer in the room. An orange light suffusing the
windows. The doctor was gone, but she had tucked me into the bed, which struck
me as sweet.

With a sigh I got out of the bed and put my underwear back on. The white beach
towel was laying on the floor. There was a rusty discoloration in one corner
from where I'd wiped blood off my neck before. Stained. Like me. But subtext
seemed like a trivial thing to be bothered about at this point, so I just
scooped up the towel, wrapped it around my shoulders, and went wandering out
the room and down the corridor, barefoot and halfnaked under my shawl like some
pariah sent away in disgrace.

I went down stairs and found a kitchen. I drank from the tap. I wondered what I
was supposed to do now, but I didn't even know where my room was, and didn't
even know if there were clothes in it. I realized I should probably try and
find a Cullen, so I went wandering again and soon I began to hear something. I
followed the noise and came upon Jane in a living room playing a video game.

She was sitting on the floor, directly in front of the large plasma TV. Her
legs crossed, controller in her lap. Her straight blonde hair was in a ponytail
and she wore a yellow top, a denim miniskirt, and no shoes. She must be going
through a yellow phase. Back in Forks she'd favored pink. I smiled to see her
and went over.

She glanced when she noticed me, still tapping away on the controller. "Hey,"
she said. "Where you been?"

"Asleep," I said, and sat down on the floor beside her, still dressed in
nothing but my underwear and a towel. "Where's Leah?"

Jane scoffed, eyes on the TV screen. "Tanya wanted to go shopping," she said,
not masking the jealousy. She gave me a little eye roll. "Leah likes her."

I smiled. Jane was cute when she was jealous, and with that thought I leaned
and put my arms around her, kissing her ear. She giggled and kept playing.

"Wow, I don't remember you this slutty," she said. "You used to at least make
us ask."

"I don't care anymore," I whispered into her ear.

She smiled. "You're avoiding Alice, aren't you?"

I had my tongue in her ear. Now I put it back in my mouth and sat back, my mood
punctured. I didn't reply, but Jane didn't seemed to need me to.

"Why you avoiding her?" she asked, eyes focused on the screen.

She was playing some kind of beat-em-up that I didn't recognize. It was 3D and
she was playing a female character with huge tits that bounced as she fought. I
gave a little shrug.

"I don't know," I said.

Jane chuckled once. "Look," she said. "I know it's gonna be tough, but you got
nothing to worry about. As long as you forgive her for leaving, everything's
cool. Alice loves you. Just don't let her go crazy with that monogamy bullshit
again. Seriously. It's not healthy for a vampire. Besides, you're not the only
one that loves her. Remember that. Keep her heart, but share the pussy, you
know what I'm saying?"

I wrapped the towel tighter around myself. We were sitting beneath the light in
the ceiling with our backs against a glass coffeetable. It was getting darker
in the windows.

"Alice turned you too, didn't she?" I asked.

Jane remained focused on her game, but she nodded. "Yep," she said. "She turned
us all. Carlisle's a cute figurehead, and Vicky's always been the mistress, but
in the end, Alice is the real matriarch of the coven. We're addicted to her,
just like you. Her venom lives in our hearts. Always."

I lowered my head. There was a scream from the TV speakers and an announcer
proclaimed Jane's victory. She grinned and started another match.

"Then who turned Alice?" I asked.

Jane glanced at me and back at the TV. "Hard to say."

"Victoria says you're the only one who knows."

"Yeah," Jane muttered, and said: "Listen, just forget about it, okay? It's not
important, and besides, Alice wouldn't want you to know. It's kind of
embarrassing."

"I know," I said. "That's why she's been lying to me about it. And that's why
I'm not asking her. Alice will tell me when she's ready. But I need to know
now."

She flickered an annoyed frown at me. "Why?"

To be honest, I didn't know. But now that the subject was out there, I did need
to know. The curiosity felt like a hole in the pit on my stomach and I needed
something to fill this emptiness. I had the feeling that there would be some
answer in Alice's turning. Something that would help me decide what to do.
Something that would make me love her again and never stop. Something that
would make all my sacrifices worth it.

So I frowned and tried to put my feelings into words. "Because I know it's
something terrible," I said. "And I need to know why she's so fucked up. I need
to know why she needs to be loved so badly."

"None of us needed to know," Jane countered. "We just loved her."

"I'm different from any of you," I told her. "I'm her soulmate."

Jane looked at me. But then her character took two hits in the head and she
turned back to the screen. She shook her head, and then she sighed and
evidently decided she might as well tell me.

"Alice wasn't turned by another vampire," she said. "She's what we call an
original. She died as a human…and rose as a vampire. Just like Dracula."

"How?" I asked.

Jane shrugged. "Who knows? Carlisle's done research on the chemical aspects of
the change, but mostly it's just supernatural. There's no logical explanation.
Especially in Alice's case. But I guess there's plenty of ghost clichés that
could explain it. Unfinished business. Some sorrow that requires to be
resolved. Some dark rage in the deepest corner of her heart that makes it
impossible to move on. To accept her fate. You can judge for yourself after you
hear the story."

Already I had a very bad feeling. Jane smirked at me, as if she knew she was
about to rattle my whole world, and then she turned back to her game.

"Alice's tale is a sad one," she began. "Although not uncommon in those days.
She was born a peasant, the only daughter of a blacksmith. Her mother died
giving birth. Alice never knew her name. Her father never said it. He wasn't
the most loving husband, and far from a doting father. I said he was a
blacksmith, but mostly he was a drinker and a gambler. He used to beat Alice
when she was younger and then rape her when she got a little older. There was
no such thing as child services in those days—or even police—so this went on
for a few years. Til she was sixteen or so. By then her father's gambling debts
had piled up and he sold her to a whorehouse he used to frequent."

"Oh my god," I said. My voice came out in shocked monotone and I'd gone cold
all over.

But Jane only chuckled, not even looking at me. "Well, jeez," she said. "Don't
start crying now. It gets worse. Way worse."

I blinked to clear my vision. Jane went on.

"Anyway," she said. "She was just a thin and beaten up little girl. She didn't
fetch much of a price, but the whoremaster saw her potential beneath the grime
and made an investment out of her. Bought her costumes and jewelry. Of course,
he also beat and raped her regularly, so it's not like she was in any enviable
position. None of the other girls were jealous. I certainly wasn't."

I looked at her. "You were there?"

Jane nodded, still focused on her game. "Yeah," she said. "My parents died in
the plague and somehow I ended up in a brothel. Maybe the orphanage was full,
who knows? The world was a harsh place for girls back then. You modern chicks
don't know how good you got it.

"So there we were, Alice and I. Ill-fated waifs met by mischance in the halls
of a whorehouse. Not our ideal lifestyle, obviously. Funnily enough, that was
the place we both realized we were lesbians. Of course, a bit of girl-girl
interaction wasn't so uncommon in places like that. Even the sluttiest girls
were often unsatisfied at the end of the day and when you got two dozen working
girls sharing beds and baths the idea of having sex with a chick is bound to
occur to you. But it was different between me and Alice. It wasn't love maybe,
but a special kind of connection. A secret affinity. We weren't like the
others.

"We were a similar shape and size, me and Alice, so soon we were sharing a room
and wardrobe. After a while we were plotting to escape. Of course, we were just
dumb sixteen year olds. We had no way to realize how hopeless our situation
really was. Most of the other girls pinned their hopes on getting married.
Sometimes a client would buy a girl and presumably marry her. I say presumably
because none of those girls were ever heard of again. Who knows what really
happened to them? Marriage was probably just what the whoremaster told us to
keep us docile.

"In any case, Alice and I weren't willing to wait around for Prince
Charming—weren't even interested—so one night we split. Unfortunately, we
weren't very prepared. We took our shoes and jewelry, no food. We snuck out at
night and made it to the end of the road before we realized we had no idea
where to go or what to do. It was a lively district and there were plenty of
people in the streets. Two men exited a nearby tavern and asked if we were
lost. We said we were, thinking they'd help us. But of course they didn't. They
took us behind the tavern, raped us, robbed us, and left us lying in the mud. I
had a broken leg and I couldn't even stand. Alice wouldn't leave me, and she
had nowhere to go even if she did. After a while the whoremaster and several of
his men found us and bought us back."

"Oh god," I said. Tears were running down my face and I said it again. "Oh
god."

Jane grinned at me, amazingly, and went back to her game. Her story hadn't
affected her concentration at all and she was still winning every match.
"Yeah," she said, as if agreeing with me. "It's one of those things that's
really bad when it happens, but you can't help laughing when you think back.
That's one of the great things about being a vampire. It deadens your empathy,
even for yourself. Or maybe I'm just a sociopath, who knows? Either way, I got
over it much quicker than Alice.

"Anyway. Our first escape attempt wasn't so successful, but we had slightly
better luck on our next. It took a long time for us to recover, and with our
new injuries the prices on us took a pretty big dip. It sucked to be me, I can
tell you. Clumping up the stairs with my leg in a splint and getting fucked in
a dark room by candlelight at a price as low as a couple pieces of tin. But
maybe Alice had it worse. The whoremaster was upset at the loss of revenue, but
for some reason he took out most of his displeasure on Alice. I think he had a
thing for her. Alice used to tell me that he'd rape her, choke her almost to
death, and then hold her and tell her he loves her. That he only wants what's
best for her. It's a standard pimp's trick that's existed for centuries. A lot
of girls can be broken like that, but not Alice. Not Alice."

I sobbed and lowered my face into my hands. The towel slipped off and I sat
there in the floor with my bare shoulders shuddering as I cried into my hands.

Jane hadn't even stopped playing her game. "Listen, if you can't handle this,
let me know," she said. "Because it gets worse."

I sniffed and wiped my face with the towel. "How could it possibly get worse?"

Jane shot me a smile, her eyes bright and perfectly empty, and then she went
on.

"It was about six months later when we ran away again," she said. "This time
we'd packed a little better and culled some info off clients. We wore hoods so
we wouldn't draw attention and we managed to make it to a nearby convent,
thinking we'd be safe there. We had planned to become nuns, if you can believe
that. The mother superior accepted us, of course, but sympathy was a rare
commodity in those days, and she didn't seemed particularly thrilled to have a
couple runaway whores in her church. Still, she said a prayer over us and gave
us a cell with a bed and a basin to clean up. Special night, that night. It was
the first time me and Alice made love. Real love. Ironic, considering that both
unwed sex and homosexuality were pretty huge sins at the time. We didn't even
know, really. It felt right to us. Natural. We felt safe for the first time in
our lives. Hopeful. Happy, almost. So we made love, there in the church with a
crucifix hanging over the bed, and god must've been pissed at the disrespect
because he fucked us right back the next morning.

"It was in the middle of mass the next day when the whoremaster appeared on the
church steps. If it wasn't for Alice, he might've just let us go, but like I
said, he was obsessed with her. He discussed the case with the mother superior
and in the clear light of god's day he paid money into her hand and took me and
Alice away again. And as you could imagine—ow, fuck."

She struggled with the controller for a second, frowning.

"Fucking noob," she muttered. "I'm gonna murder this motherfucker, watch this."

I wasn't watching. I wasn't crying anymore, I was just stunned. I stared down
at the carpet, lips parted in shock. It was dark outside by now and I was cold
inside and out.

"You okay over there?" Jane asked.

"No," I said softly.

"You wanna hear the rest or not?"

I nodded absently. "Yes."

Jane looked at me for a moment and turned back to the TV. "Well, needless to
say," she went on, "the punishment for trying to escape was worse this time.
More beating, more rape. Again, Alice got the worst of it. But eventually we
were healed enough to make another attempt.

"So we slipped out some night and went to a nearby guard tower. We thought the
guards were supposed to be like knights in fairytales, so we told them the
story of the evil whoremaster and the innocent maidens, and we begged them to
help. They listened and then they took us into the dungeon, chained us up, and
raped us. They kept us down there for days with hardly any food or water until
they were bored. Then they sold us to the prisoners for whatever they could
get. Knives. Bits of silver. Finally they sent for the whoremaster we'd begged
them to dispatch and sold us back to him.

"More punishment followed. It was getting pretty aggravating by then, as you
could imagine. Luckily, I'd contracted syphilis at that point so I was able to
avoid most of it. They still sold me to clients but they wouldn't touch me
themselves. Alice got the worst of it, as always.

"We'd soon made plans to escape again. But I wasn't so hopeful, honestly.
Syphilis was incurable in those days and even if there was a clinic next door I
doubt the gracious master would've made me an appointment. Escape didn't seem
so important anymore. Alice and I couldn't be close without her getting sick
and as my illness advanced it became obvious that I would've only slowed her
down. So I told her to go without me. I was dead anyway.

"She begged me to change my mind, but there was no point. She stayed with me
all night the night before she left and when she left in the dawn I was asleep.
By the time I woke up she was back.

"The plan was for her to make her way south to the next village. Who knows what
she would've done when she got there, with no family, no money, no education.
But in the end it didn't matter. She knew she'd never get far by herself, so
she convinced one of the other girls to go with her. Naturally, this other girl
betrayed her and told the whoremaster of her plans. Alice didn't even get
across the street.

"By this time the whoremaster had had enough of her escape attempts, and he
decided to make an example out of her. So he assembled all the girls on the
balcony overlooking the muddy yard behind the brothel and made us watch as he
stripped her, beat her, tied her up, raped her, kicked her, and finally cut her
throat. Alice watched them dig her own grave in a pigsty as she bled out in the
dirt. The whoremaster warned us that this would happen to any girl who even
thinks of running away and then he booted Alice's still breathing body into the
grave and walked away as they piled the dirt on top of her."

I was so lightheaded I thought I was going to pass out. I'd never experienced
such a feeling of horror. I sat there, swaying slightly, and Jane looked at me.
Her lapse in concentration had cost her the match, but she didn't start a new
one. She left it on the character select screen and smiled at me, lowering her
voice into a storytelling tone.

"That night," she said, "a low fog descended over town. I was quite upset at
Alice's loss, as you could imagine, and since I was going to die anyway I
figured I pay the whoremaster a visit with a kitchen knife. So I took out his
doorman silently and found him in bed with the girl who'd ratted Alice out. The
whoremaster reached for the flintlock pistol on the bedside table and he
actually managed to pulled the trigger on me. But I was always lucky in a dark
way, and the shot was a misfire. He tried to scramble out of the bed, but I
jumped on him and stabbed him up before he could call for help.

"Again I was lucky, because the girl didn't scream. She just watched like
something dumb, and when I was done she asked me what I was doing. But I just
stabbed her in the chest, left the knife inside her, and went back to my room.

"But like I said, my luck is very dark, and the only apparent perk of my
survival was a peaceful suicide. So I went out onto the balcony and decided to
jump. It was a full moon and lots of stars. I remember thinking it was a nice
night to die, and before I jumped I looked down at where they'd buried Alice.
So I could murmur some romantic last words. And as I looked down, a cold wind
blew and the fog lifted. That's when I noticed the dark earth had been
disturbed. As if something had been dug up. Or as if something had crawled
out."

"Alice," I whispered.

"Alice. And as I stared at the open grave I heard her say my name softly. I
thought it was just the wind, but when I turned around, she was there in my
room, naked, covered in dirt. I couldn't even speak. My dress was drenched in
blood and slowly she advanced on me, aroused by the scent, and started kissing
my neck. It had been a long time since I had felt her touch, and it felt so
nice that I couldn't stop her, despite my sickness. Luckily, vampires are
immune to disease. She bit me there on the balcony, under the moon, and I did
nothing at all to stop her.

"By then someone had found the dead whoremaster and his dead whore. A shrill
scream rang through the house and two guards barged into my room where Alice
was feeding from me. Alice released me instantly and hissed with her bloody
mouth at the interruption. The guards panicked and discharged their pistols.
Both shots hit Alice in the chest, but they barely slowed her down. She tore
the guards apart with her bare hands and before more guards could arrive she
gathered me up in her arms like a bride and jumped off the balcony into the
fog."

She had been looking into my eyes as she spoke and I'd been looking back,
hypnotized. She held my gaze for a moment longer, and then she smiled and
turned back to the TV, starting another match on her fighting game.

"It was our final escape attempt," she said, "and our most successful. We set
out on the long journey south and Alice fed from me many times and by the time
we reached the village her venom had turned me into a vampire just like her.
With our vampire strength and stamina we had nothing left to fear, but funnily
enough, we crossed the entire countryside without incident. We even found
charity. When we were just one day out from the next village we came upon a
farmer in a field who offered us a place to stay with him and his wife. We were
pleased to accept, of course. And even more pleased to meet his lovely
daughter."

She giggled and tapped the buttons on her controller. She glanced at me and
back at the TV.

"So, there it is," she said. "The truth about Alice. What do you think?"

I stared at the TV vacantly. "I knew it was bad," I said. "But I had no idea…"

Jane snorted, as if I'd said something funny. "Yeah," she said. "It's pretty
tragic, even by historical standards. You can understand why she prefers to
pretend it never happened. She made me promise never to tell anyone, but you
wanted to know why she's so fucked up. Why she deserves to be loved. Well. Now
you know."

My eyes glazed over and the TV screen swam away. I bowed my head and sniffed,
pulling the towel around my shoulders. Jane kept playing.

"I think Alice's past is the reason she's always been so drawn to Vicky," she
said. "Domination and abuse are the only things she's ever known. In a sick
way, it's the only thing she's comfortable with. The only thing she thinks she
deserves. But what she really needs is tenderness. Understanding. Acceptance.
And who knows, maybe you're the one that can give her those things. You've got
a big heart.

"But me? I don't know. My own heart's kind of small. Alice and I should've been
soulmates, but her wounds were so much deeper than mine. Too deep for me. Even
though I'd been right there beside her, I had no idea what she was going
through. Still don't. I never had much compassion, even as a human. Tragedy is
supposed to make you more sympathetic to the misfortunes of others, but it
doesn't always work like that. You'd be surprised. Most people aren't sensitive
enough to let tragedy affect them for too long. They generally get over it
sooner or later. They forget, move on. Alice couldn't, but I did. Not just me,
either. We've all got tragic backstories.

"Look at Leah. She was an apache indian and one morning a party of raiders rode
up out of the dawn and trampled all through the camp. Killed her family,
scalped them, raped her little sister. Raped her. She only survived because she
got clubbed unconscious for resisting and they thought she was dead. The next
morning she went staggering down a wagon trail through the desert and four days
later as she was dying of thirst she came upon me and Alice and Victoria and
Carlisle, just driving up in our carriage as if we'd been looking for her.

"Rosalie was gang raped by her fiancé and a bunch of his friends. Met Alice in
hospital. Esme grew up in the depression and got married to please her parents.
Her husband was an abusive heroin addict who routinely raped her and beat her
with furniture. She snuck out to a gay bar one night, found Alice, and never
went back. Even Carlisle's had his share of tragedy. One time he got caught
with some guy's wife, back when he was called Clarisse. They were in love, but
the husband was one of those ultra-possessive temperamental types. Raped the
wife. Choked her. Carlisle only survived because Alice and I happened to be
working in the household as maids and we came running when we heard the
screams."

Jane sighed and went on playing.

"Alice has always been attracted to victims," she said. "Her dreams were always
the same. Someone was hurt and she'd come to make them feel better. Her love
saved us all from the darkest moments in our lives. You and Vicky were the
exceptions. You and Vicky were the ones who were suppose to save her. Vicky
couldn't do it. Can you?"

I didn't answer. My stomach was in a knot and it felt like I was going to throw
up. My lip trembled and I started crying, lowering my face into my hands. "I
can't believe everything she went through," I said in a broken voice.

Jane chuckled. "Hey, I went through the same stuff, you know."

"I know," I sobbed. "I'm sorry."

"Ah, it's alright," she said. "Listen, do you need a hug? I'm playing online
here, I can't pause."

But I didn't need a hug. I needed to cry, and I didn't want to cry here, so I
stumbled to my feet and wheeled away in my underwear, pulling the towel around
me.

—

Somehow I ended up on the roof. There was a helipad up there and I stood with
my barefeet on the tarmac, wrapped in the towel with the night breeze flowing
coldly over my bare legs, through my hair. It was almost a full moon and I
stared up at it where it squatted in the darkness among the stars, slung low in
the sky and so pale and bloated it almost seemed to throb with paleness.

Alice.

It was all I could think about. There was nothing else in my whole head, just
Alice, Alice, Alice. I tried to analyze what I was feeling, but what else could
I possibly be feeling? Alice's history had affected me in exactly the way I'd
predicted. The sheer horror of everything she'd been through had shifted
something in my heart and now all that was left was to take this heart and
dedicate it entirely to Alice. Anything else was unthinkable. Alice was
convinced that I was the person who was going to make her happy, and I was
going to do it. From now on I was going to devote my life to making hers as
joyful as possible. It was all I'd ever wanted to do, ever since I first laid
eyes on her. I don't know how I'd ever managed to forget that.

A tear slid down my cheek and I looked away from the moon. Lauren had said that
Alice wasn't part of my life anymore, but she was wrong. Alice was my life. She
always had been. Before I'd met her I dreamt about her. It was destiny. No
matter how far apart we drifted, no matter who we saw while we were apart, no
matter what happened between us – we were soulmates.

Suddenly I heard a heel-click behind me. I lifted my eyes to the moon as the
clicks approached across the helipad. Then they stopped and a voice spoke.

"How long do intend to keep Alice waiting?"

It was Victoria. I pulled the towel around my shoulders and turned around. She
was standing there with a hand on her hip, clad in a loose red dress that
rippled softly in the wind.

I didn't answer. Jane said that they all had tragic backstories, but she didn't
mention Victoria, did she? A wealthy and beautiful duchess with a hundred
girlslaves. It was typical, really. In a novel it would be the villain who had
the tragic backstory in order to explain her wickedness and provoke sympathy.
But in real-life its usually the villains who are the happy ones. After all –
they're the ones who cause the tragedy.

Victoria sighed at my silence and rolled her eyes. "Oh don't be sullen, Miss
Swan," she said. "Do we really need to go through another pantomime of threats
and intimidation and your pathetically feeble resistance? Isn't it time you
simply accept your fate?"

I turned back to the moon. That's exactly what I wanted to do, to accept my
fate. But not because the redhead said so. I wanted Leah or Jane or Esme to
take me by the hand and show me to Alice's room. Not Victoria.

I heard some more heel-clicks and the redhead appeared beside me. She didn't
even glance at the moon. She just looked at me, her arms folded, waiting for me
to say something. I smiled and dropped my eyes.

"Prom was last week," I said. "I was supposed to go with Lauren. She must hate
me by now."

"Girls," said Victoria. "Such fickle creatures."

"She warned me not to go to dinner with you."

"Why didn't you listen?"

"I don't know. No point. Even if I did avoid you, would you have let me go? Or
would you have found me and bought me back no matter what?"

"I think you know the answer to that."

I looked at her. Her red hair flickered in the wind like flames and her face
was pale and supernaturally gorgeous in the moonlight. Victoria was the first
woman Alice had chosen, but Victoria had fallen for Rosalie. And yet she still
wants Alice, and me, as well. I didn't understand, and suddenly I wanted to.

"Do you still love Alice?" I asked.

"I don't believe in love."

"What do you believe in?"

She narrowed her eyes slightly, as if impatient with the questioning. "I
believe in getting what I want," she said. "What else is worth believing in?
Now. Are you ready to accept your true fate, Miss Swan? Or must I persuade you
further?"

I turned away and looked up at the moon. "Why couldn't you just let me and
Alice be happy?" I asked. "Everything would've been perfect if you had just
left us alone."

"Because then I wouldn't be happy," she said. "Don't my feelings count at all?"

To her that might have seemed like a rational argument, but I only shook my
head. "No," I said. "Only Alice's count. If you truly loved her, you'd want her
to be happy."

She looked at me for a moment. Then she grabbed my hand roughly. "Enough," she
snapped. "If you wish to babble about love, you may babble to Alice. Nobody
else is interested. Come. She's been waiting almost a year to have you back
and—"

I jerked my hand back and stumbled slightly, losing my grip on the towel. It
fell to the tarmac of the helipad leaving me exposed in the moonlight wearing
nothing but underwear. I stepped backwards, away from Victoria.

"Miss Swan," she seethed quietly. "Do not try my patience. Come with me now.
You will shower and put on something nice and I will take you to Alice."

She held out her hand, expecting me to take it. My head had gone dizzy and I
grinned half hysterically. I felt like laughing. Alice was waiting, but I
wouldn't take the hand. Not that hand. I wanted Alice, more than I ever had in
my life, but I couldn't take the hand of the redhead.

It was funny. Maybe this was the real reason I'd been so reluctant to come to
Paris. Maybe it wasn't mom or Lauren at all. Maybe it wasn't even the principle
that had me so desperate to cling to my former life.

Maybe I just couldn't resist telling the redhead to go fuck herself.

Victoria waited for a moment and then she stomped over in her heels and grabbed
my hand. I jerked it back. She grabbed it again, tightening her grip like a
vise, and I tugged and tugged and when my hand came loose I lost my balance and
fell to my knees.

At her feet.

I looked up at her silently, a sudden spike of arousal stabbing through my
pussy. She was so beautiful. Her dress was dark scarlet in the moonlight and
she gazed down at me with no smile. My hair whipped in front of my face and I
tucked a lock of it behind my ear. Our eyes met and I smiled.

"You do love her, don't you?" I said. "You just never realized it until she
stopped loving you."

Victoria looked at me coldly and then she turned away. "Get up," she said.
"Tonight you belong to Alice."

—

Within the hour I was showered and fitted out in black lingerie, black
stockings, black heels, and a black chinchilla coat that I held closed with one
hand as I knocked softly with my knuckles on Alice's bedroom door. It opened a
crack and the blonde looked out. Rosalie. I couldn't see Alice, and when the
blonde saw it was me, she glanced back into the room, and back at me. She
didn't speak and there was something demure in her eyes, as if she'd known this
moment was coming and she was ready for it. Then she opened the door a little
wider and passed at my side, proceeding down the corridor so that I could be
alone with Alice.

Alice.

I entered the room and closed the door softly behind me. The room was dark
aside from the moonlight in the tall windows and a lamp that burned dimly at a
desk. Hunched at the desk with her back toward me was a small and familiar
figure.

I took a shaky breath and approached. The desk was in the corner and in the dim
lampfall I could see that the walls were covered with hand drawn pictures of
me. Shaded in charcoal, some with slashes of red watercolor to simulate blood
or lips. Pictures of me as a girl, as a woman, as the way I was. Pictures of
how she pictured me. She was rebuilding her collection, it seemed, and it made
me smile. Waves of loved washed over me so powerful my eyes began to tear.

She was wearing a cream-colored satin nightie, and her shoulders were bare and
slim and so achingly familiar. She was bent over a sheet of paper, hard at work
at another image of me, and still holding closed my chinchilla coat, I reached
out with my hand and placed it on one of those beautiful shoulders.

Her pencil stopped scribbling and her body tensed. Almost as if she knew it was
me. I let my hand caress her smooth skin and in a thick voice I said:

"Hi."

She rose to her feet and turned around. Her face was as I remembered it;
pretty, perfect, pale like a pearl and as lustrous. She didn't seem to know how
to react to me.

"Bella," she breathed.

I smiled at the sound of her voice. She smiled at my smile but then instantly
she went anxious and began to babble.

"Oh god Bella I'm so—"

But I pressed a finger to her lips and shook my head. Because I understood now
how trivial apologies and explanations had become between us. Alice and I
belonged together, no matter what. So I smiled and caressed her lips with my
fingertips, staring at her beautiful face like a woman in a trance. She went to
speak again but I spoke first.

"Shhh," I whispered. "Not now, okay? We both fucked up. But it doesn't matter.
Nothing matters anymore. Let's just be together, okay?"

She nodded quickly. "Okay."

I smiled and then I opened my coat and let it fall behind me. I felt a flash of
insecurity, as if my body might not please her anymore, but the lust that
glazed over her eyes as they roamed my dark costume made me burn inside. I
stepped forward and hugged her tightly, inhaling her scent. She sighed softly
at the contact and wrapped her arms around me.

"I love you, Alice," I whispered.

"I love you too, baby," she sobbed. "I do. I'm sorry. I didn't… I never…"

But I silenced her with a kiss, cupping the nape of her neck and parting her
lips as I tasted her venom, as I let it in my head and into my heart, into my
soul where I wanted it forever. She moaned softly and I deepened the kiss,
putting all my love into it, wanting to show her how much I loved her, how much
I would always love her. Finally I broke the kiss and touched my forehead to
hers, gazing into her eyes. She was crying and she wouldn't look at me.

"Don't cry, baby," I said, and lifted her chin so our eyes met. "Everything's
going to be okay from now on, I promise."

She blinked at me without speaking, tears dropping, and then I kissed her
again, and again, and then I smiled at her and took her hand and led her to the
bed.

I laid her down and climbed on top of her. Her legs wrapped around me as if to
keep me there and I was kissing her again, losing myself in her familiar taste,
the familiar sound of her moans. I caressed her body and slowly pushed up her
satin nightie, breaking the kiss for just a second as I pulled it over her head
but not breaking eye contact. Then leaning to kiss her again.

It had been so long since I'd felt her warmth and I let my body rub against
hers. My skin was burning and her body felt cool under my hands as I stroked
her sides up and down. She wore nothing underneath the nightie but panties and
her nipples were like little tulip buds as I touched them and leaned to suckle
on them. She arched and quivered under my lips, murmuring my name, and I kissed
her breasts and stroked them, one then the other, and then I trailed kisses
lower over her belly, lower to the waistband of her panties, and I kissed the
silk and the lace, and I found the nub of her clit and I suckled it through the
material with her hissing in pleasure.

Finally I tugged her panties down her legs and tossed them aside. Her legs fell
open and she begged me to hurry. She kept saying, please, please. But it had
been so long since I'd had her and I wanted to savor her. I kissed at the
insides of her thighs, slowly and slowly circling toward her glistening
womanhood, and finally my lips landed on her entrance and she shivered. I
licked at her and told her how beautiful she was and how much I loved her,
licking and moaning into her core, and I told her how much I missed her and how
I was never going to leave her, and I kept licking and licking, and soon I was
licking and crying at the same time, crying as I remembered all the things that
had happened to her in her life, all the cruelties and injustices, all the
grief and despair, the helplessness, the brutality and the sheer unfairness.
All of it in her past and yet fresh in her heart, brooding there and awaiting
the remedy of my love, and I licked and licked and licked at her until she
climaxed with a cry and then I kissed her, slowly, tasting her, and I licked up
all her arousal and kissed her some more, and then I trailed kisses up over her
body, placing a kiss each on both of her nipples, higher and higher until I was
again kissing her lips.

"Oh baby," she panted, wrapping her arms around me. "Oh. Oh baby, I missed you
so much."

I kissed the corner of her mouth. "I missed you too."

"Did you? Did you really?"

I cupped her face and looked into her eyes. Her cheek was hot under my hand and
her pale face was flushed and her hair damp. I smiled at her. "Of course," I
said. "You're my soulmate, Alice. I love—"

But she didn't let me finish. She pulled me down violently and mashed our lips
together, kissing me with a desperate passion I'd never felt from her. She
rolled me onto my back and tore the underwear from my body with her bare hands,
my breasts bouncing free as she ripped away my black lace bra and swooped with
her lips to one of my swollen nipples, taking it into her mouth and sucking on
it harshly.

She squeezed them, groped them, moaned as she licked at them like icecreams. My
legs were wide open and I was almost in pain from how badly I wanted her. My
panties were broken on the floor and all I wore on my legs were black
stockings. Finally she moved between them and thrust her tongue directly into
my entrance. One of my shoes was gone and the other came loose as the heel dug
and twisted into the bedsheet. I arched up and groaned, and I clenched my hands
in her soft and downy hair, and she began to lick at me, and she kept licking
until I came for her, groaning and panting her name.

And as soon as it was over, I smiled. Because I knew what was coming next.

Alice was kissing my face, little butterfly kisses, and I turned my lips to
hers and caught them. But she whimpered and broke away and I felt two tears
drip onto my face.

"Is this really real?" she sobbed. "Is it really you? I've been pretending for
so long. Is it you, Bella? Please, tell me it's you."

"It's me, Alice," I whispered. "I'll never leave you again, I promise."

She burst out crying and buried her face in my neck. "It was me that left," she
wailed. "It wasn't you. It was me. It was my fault. You said you hated me. You
said I was crazy. You said—"

Now I was crying too. I held her tightly and said: "Alice, please. You know I
could never hate you. I never meant any of that stuff. I love you. You're
everything to me. You truly are. Here. Let me prove it."

She tried to resist, but I whispered that it was going to be okay, and I
managed to sit up with her still clinging to me. Her face was buried in my
neck, but I pried her loose and watched as she wiped her eyes with her hands.
Moonlight fell in shafts from the windows and bathed her naked body in a bluish
glow. She was so beautiful. We were sitting between each other's legs with our
legs wrapped around each other, our breasts pressed together. I wiped the tears
from her cheek with my thumb and she sniffed. Then I took her face, kissed her
lips, and guided her mouth to my neck, the opposite side of the stitched up
gash.

"Go ahead," I said. "I trust you."

Her fangs were already grazing my throat. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I whispered. "But be careful, okay? I don't want to die just yet. I have
to love you a lot more before I die. So much more. I love you, Alice. I love
you so much."

"Oh baby," she whimpered. "I love you too."

Then she bit me.

My head rolled back and I gasped at the exquisite pierce of her fangs. My eyes
fell closed and I smiled in the dark as her venom entered my bloodstream,
flowing through my body and carried into my heart where it would eventually
reside for all eternity.

—

***** Chapter 31 *****
—

Chapter 31:

—

Alice and I had a lot of catching up to do, needless to say, and for a long
time that's all we did. For over two weeks we didn't even leave her bedroom,
aside from the occasional voyage into the adjoining bathroom in order to shower
or do my 'business.' Most of our time was spent having sex in some form or
another and the only thing we talked about was what we were going to do to each
other. Many issues lay unresolved between us, but for now we were happy to
simply be reunited.

And when I say happy, I mean utterly freaking ecstatic. Perhaps I should've
spent a little more time mourning the loss of my mother and girlfriend, but it
felt more natural to simply flip the fuck out over having Alice back. My Alice.
My sexy, gorgeous, completely fucking perfect soulmate. Hard to believe I'd
forgotten how outright exquisite she is. Despite all the dreams and the
fantasies and all those combined hours staring at her prom pictures, despite
the image of her I'd kept in my heart all this time, none of it even came close
to the sheer yumminess of the real thing.

I spent those first few days teetering on a knife edge of euphoria, high from
the blood loss, horny from her body, and liquefied inside from her smile. It
didn't take long for my entire being to resolve itself into a handful of urges
related to her sexual pleasure, and for two whole weeks we indulged these urges
while my charming soulmate worked through some urges of her own. It had been
over a year since we'd been together, and the outpouring of lust and love we
felt for each other was nothing short of maddening. Her venom coursed through
my body and my blood coursed through hers, the two of us trapped within the
same Need, the same Lust, and both of us delighted to be so. I succumbed to my
old addiction with all willingness, completely and happily, and I waved off her
concern for my safety as if I'd live forever, demanding that she bite me, take
me, have me, whenever the impulse strikes her. Don't ask. Don't tell. Just do
it.

And she did. She bit me everywhere until my body was covered with little red
marks and purple bruises, until the sheets were sweaty and bloodstained, until
I passed out and woke up pale and near death. Our first visitor was the doctor
who administered an emergency transfusion while I lay naked under the covers
with Alice holding my hand and watching my face anxiously. And me smiling, with
my pale lips, gazing at her lovingly as blood flowed through the tubes into my
veins, fresh blood for my Alice. Before the transfusion was even complete she
had leaned down and captured my ashen lips in a restrained but passionate kiss.

Our next visitor was the momma-vamp with food and fresh bedsheets. Jane and
Leah also dropped by, but we never saw Victoria or Rosalie. In any case, we had
no interest in our guests, and none of them stayed very long, and as soon as
Alice and I were alone we were back into each other's arms, connected in a kiss
and reaching into each other's clothes.

I'd fall asleep with her watching me and wake up with her right there as if she
hadn't moved, smiling and petting my hair. With the amount of venom in my
system my wounds healed quickly and were quickly replaced by other injuries.
But after the initial explosion of our rekindled flame, we finally managed to
slow down and control ourselves. Which turned out good for both of us, since
the slower pace allowed us to experiment with kinky underwear and the array of
sex toys in her bedside drawer. Often it had began to seem that I didn't have
enough tongues to stick everywhere I wanted to stick them, and I found that
vibrators were a wonderful equalizer. But as much as I enjoyed sticking things
in Alice, I had to admit I liked it when Alice stuck things in me, too. In
deference to my young age, she had always been a little reticent with toys, but
we seemed to have reached a point in our relationship where there was little
point holding anything back, and soon she had me moaning like a mental patient
with studded and ribbed vibrators in each of my holes and my nipples in clamps
with me gagged and my hands tied behind my back with a silk scarf as she
stimulated my clit with a fingertip and watched my eyes roll into my head as
the orgasm erupted across my wet and melting face.

And as a bonus, many of Alice's toys were of an anal variety—plugs, beads—which
enabled me to properly reacquaint myself with her glorious ass. Alice had
taught me all about lubrication while she was doing it to me—before then I'd
never had anything bigger in my ass than her finger—and I have to admit that I
got a little carried away. Alice was quite a little butt-slut and it was
difficult for me not to be enthusiastic about inserting things into such a
luscious area of her anatomy. I stuck dildos in her, beads, my finger—very
tight, very warm. Words can't describe the fascination I felt as I watched a
little pink vibrator wriggling from her ass like a tiny tail, but best of all
was the strap-on. Riding her from behind while groping her boobs was amazing
enough to make me wish I was a guy so I could do it to her for real, but then
she took the strap-on and did the same thing to me and I really had to rescind
the wish; it was nice being a girl – and even better being a lesbian.

By the second week we'd slowed down enough to sprinkle a little conversation
between orgasms, although we didn't really discuss anything deeper than how
much we loved each other and how happy we were to be back together. At times I
felt that maybe it was time we started talking about how we plan to stay
together, since obviously there were still quite a few complications between us
awaiting examination. I was still human, for instance. At some point I was
going to have to be turned, and if we didn't take it easy with the sex and
biting it could happen any day. Even now I could feel the venom boiling in my
blood.

And what about Alice's dreams of death and suicide? Was all that over, or was
it still in the back of her pretty little mind, the eventual end to our
relationship?

And what about her family? Carlisle—or Clarisse—had made it clear she's cool
with Alice being with me, and Leah was probably cool with it too. But Esme and
Rosalie both still loved Alice maybe as much as I do, and Jane…Jane was the
closest thing Alice had to true family, a true sister. Jane was a stone cold
demon; but she did love Alice.

And beyond all this, what about Victoria? So far we hadn't heard a peep from
her, but I knew for a fact that she didn't bring me to Paris so me and Alice
could be happy. She bought me here to save Alice's life – so that she could
have Alice for herself. And me, as well, but I guess I was more of a bonus.

I didn't know, but at some point soon we were going to have to deal with all
this stuff. I just had no idea how. Alice's radiant happiness was too bright,
too beautiful, and every time I was tempted to even approach the subject of our
future difficulties, I couldn't do it. It seemed more appropriate to simply
kiss her gorgeous smile and go down on her. I knew that this happiness wasn't
going to last, couldn't possibly last, but I wanted it to last as long as
possible – even though I knew deep down that retreating into sex like this had
never been the best solution to our problems in the past. Eventually we were
going to have to talk, and as much as I hated to cast a shadow over Alice's
happiness, we couldn't afford to be so weak and impractical about our
relationship anymore – we had to deal with shit.

But it couldn't hurt to squeeze in as many orgasms as possible in the mean
time, so that's what we did. And as the days passed by and the anxiety for our
future began to build inside me, I became more and more loving, more tender,
more worshipful. As fun as it was to play with toys, oral was still my favorite
thing to do to her, and one memorable morning I took her into the shower and
washed her perfectly clean, and then I laid her on the bed and arranged pillows
under her legs so that she could lay comfortably with them open, and then I
made love to her like I'd never made love to her before. I placed kisses on
every inch of her face and body, on every inch of her fresh sweet-smelling
skin. I traced circles around her clit with my fingertip as I kissed her chest,
her breasts, her nipples, making her whimper softly. Finally I settled on my
stomach between her legs and applied my lips to her waiting womanhood,
exploring her swollen folds with my tongue, spreading them with my fingers,
licking inside slowly and absolutely devouring her as the breath shivered in
and out of her chest until finally, at last, she was bought to a climax.

And for a long time afterward I held her. She kept saying she wanted to do me
back, but I liked holding her, and I told her to just rest for now. Vampires
don't sleep, but she closed her eyes with her face laid against my chest where
my heart throbbed out its love for her, and after a while her breathing became
deep and regular, and it was a long time before she opened her eyes again.

The next morning we actually got dressed after our shower, since we were
expecting a visit from Esme. Alice and I had gone through quite a few sets of
underwear and it was time to do another wash. What else are mothers for?

So I put on a pair of panties and a large white t-shirt that reached almost to
my knees. Alice wore a pink tanktop with teddy bears on it and a pair of gray
sleepshorts. But these weren't any ordinary sleepshorts, these were Victoria's
Secret sleepshorts, and even though they were marketed as sleeping apparel,
they really weren't much less provocative than actual lingerie – especially on
an ass like Alice's. Technically the shorts covered it up—much like boyleg
briefs—but the soft gray material was very thin and fit her contours like a
glove. I couldn't help wondering how such soft-looking fabric would feel
against the even softer-looking surface of her ass, and luckily, she was happy
to indulge my curiosity. She jumped on the bed and arranged herself on all
fours, poking her butt at me cutely. With a giddy smile I touched it with my
hands, tentative at first, and then she giggled and lay on her stomach and told
me to do whatever I want.

And with such an attractive invitation, what else could I do? I'd always been a
freak for Alice's ass, so I crawled onto the bed beside her and began massaging
it, squeezing and gripping it with my hands, feeling her firm cheeks squish
under my fingers. This was fun for a while, but suddenly my hands didn't seem
intimate enough, so I lowered my face to that smooth grey fabric and began to
nuzzle my cheek against it, relishing with my eyes closed the sheer warmth and
softness of Alice's prettiest part.

Sometimes it really seemed like I'd missed her ass more than the girl herself,
and it occurred to me that she might find that flattering in a playful way, so
I decided to tell her.

"Mmm," I murmured. "You know what I missed most about you Alice?"

"My ass?" she giggled.

I giggled too, still rubbing my face against it. I placed a kiss on the soft
material, one, two. "Is it that obvious?" I whispered, planting another kiss.

"Mmhm," she said. "I noticed by how excited you were to stick things in it."

She giggled and with an impish grin I tugged down the shorts slightly. But I'd
only just touched my lips to her actual skin when there was a quiet knock on
the door.

I hardly even noticed, so absorbed I was, but Alice groaned loudly and sat up.
I was disoriented at the loss of her warmth and blinked at her.

"That must be Esme with breakfast," she said. "Are you hungry?"

I smirked and put my hand between her legs, gripping her crotch. "Starving," I
said, obviously not referring to food.

She grinned and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Wanna ignore her?"

"Okay," I said, and instantly Alice's lips covered mine.

But our guest didn't seem to require permission to enter, and the door opened
anyway. It was Esme, as predicted, and she had a silver tray in her hands as
she walked in.

"Good lord," she said, as Alice and I reluctantly disengaged ourselves. "Don't
you two ever take a break? How long do you girls plan to stay cooped up in
here?"

"Forever!" Alice announced, throwing her arms around me possessively. "Right,
baby?"

I wish.

But I didn't let her see my anxiety about that. I smiled and placed a kiss on
her lips.

We started making out almost without realizing, and we probably never would've
stopped if our guest didn't clear her throat loudly. She was standing by the
bed with the tray in her hands, masking her jealousy with maternal disapproval.

"Well, you should at least let the poor girl eat," she said.

Alice didn't even look at her. She was gazing into my eyes saucily. "Baby eats
plenty, don't you baby?"

Esme's face clouded, and I looked at her quickly, almost apologetically. I knew
the only reason she came by with her trays and her maternal posturing was
because she wanted to see Alice, to remind Alice that she and the rest of the
coven still existed. Maybe I should've been a little angry at that, but mostly
I felt guilty. So I smiled and shook my head at the tray.

"I'm not hungry," I said. "Thanks."

She seemed disappointed, but she didn't insist. "Well," she said, standing
there awkwardly with the tray. "Leah and Jane have been asking about you again.
They're going horseback riding today and they wanted to know if you and Bella
would like to join them." Then she faked an enthusiastic smile at me. "I bet
Bella might like that, wouldn't you Bella?"

Alice gave me an anxious look, and even though it would probably be smart to
get out of bed for an hour or two, I could resist the impulse to make her
happy.

So I turned back to the Esme, shrugged awkwardly, and said: "Oh, I don't… I
mean, horses…"

Alice smiled and her arms tightened around me happily, so I guess it was the
right thing to say. Esme sighed, glanced at the tray in her hands, and then
went over and placed it down on the dresser before gathering up the hamper of
dirty laundry.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone," she said. "You girls have fun. Let me know if
you need anything, okay?"

Alice flashed her a smile that was so bright it was almost cruel. "We will,"
she chirped, her arms still around me.

Esme frowned sadly and paused on her way out. "I just wish you'd spend more
time with your family, that's all," she said. "We're all so worried about you,
Alice. You gave us such a scare before Bella returned. You almost died. We
hardly even see you anymore."

Her voice was restrained, but imploring, and it made me feel bad. Alice was
looking at my face, but her smile had slipped away. She didn't reply, and after
hesitating a few seconds, the momma-vamp added:

"We miss you, honey."

Alice looked down. She was still holding me, and maybe she was examining the
bumps in my t-shirt, or maybe she was feeling a little bad too. She still
didn't reply, and I gave the momma-vamp an apologetic smile. She tried to
return the smile, and then she turned with the laundry basket and left the
room, closing the door behind her.

Alice still seemed a little glum, and in trying to figure out what my
obligation as perfect girlfriend was, I stroked her back and said:

"You okay?"

Alice looked up with a smile. She gave a small nod. "Yeah," she said. "I just
feel a little guilty, that's all. They don't deserved to be completely
ignored…"

I smiled and kept stroking her back. We hadn't talked about her relationship
with her family, and she had no idea how much I really knew, but I could see in
her eyes that she did think about them.

"They all really love you, don't they?"

"I suppose," she said. Then she sighed and seemed to get over it. She grinned
and pulled me closer so that her lips moved against mine as she spoke. "But
that's not my problem," she said. "I've got my soulmate. They can go fuck
themselves. Or each other, I don't care. All I need is you, baby."

My heart warmed at that, even though I knew such a quick transition couldn't be
entirely natural. But now wasn't the time to talk about her family, so I
smirked into her lips and whispered: "What happened to the guilt?"

"It comes and goes," she said, and pressed her lips on mine.

I moaned and opened my mouth, letting in her tongue. Her hands toyed with the
hem of my massive t-shirt, caressing my hips for a moment before lifting it up
over my bare breasts and over my head. Smiling, she pulled off her own top, and
then she wrapped her arms around my neck and mashed our naked chests together,
tonguing me deliberately as I reached down and squeezed her ass with both
hands.

She laid me down and I went with it. Making love wouldn't solve our problems,
but it was an effective distraction, and I did love her so much. She straddled
my hips and tongued me deeply, rubbing her breasts against mine. I love it when
she does that. But then again, I love every thing she does. Finally she broke
the kiss and raised up on top of my hips, smiling down at me as she massaged my
breasts idly.

"Now," she said. "What does baby want?"

I smiled and gazed up at her topless torso. "Everything," I whispered, staring
at her perfect breasts. "I want everything."

"Me too," she giggled. "But right now would you settle for a bit of pussy?"

I grinned. That was so vintage Alice, so cute and coy and adorably slutty.
There were so many things we needed to talk about, but after being without
Alice's pussy for over a year, I'd learnt to appreciate it when it was offered,
so I smiled and said: "Sure."

We could always talk later.

And so we made love, and after we made love she fed from me gently with me
laying on my back and her flat on top of me the way we used to cuddle, her lips
at my neck as she licked like a kitten at the small incision she'd made in my
throat with one of her fangs, and after she fed she sighed and settled there on
top of me with all her weight covering my body so that I felt smothered under
her warmth, swathed in her softness as I held her loosely and moved my hands
idly over the milky expanse of her back, wondering if it was okay to talk about
our relationship yet, if she was as anxious about our future as I was, if maybe
everything would be alright if we could decide on something. Finally I said:

"Alice?"

Alice shifted against me slightly and murmured softly. "Yeah, baby?"

I didn't know how to approach the topic, or how she'd react, so I decided to
just tip toe. The sheets were low enough to only cover her hips, and her naked
back felt so smooth under my hands. Her face was buried in her the crook of my
neck and I whispered softly into her ear.

"What's going to happen now?"

My tone made it clear that the question referred to something a little deeper
than our next sexual activity, but she chose to misunderstand. She gave a
breathy giggle, raised up slightly, and smiled at me. "Well, I thought we could
rest a bit," she said, "and then…"

She was trying to avoid the subject, but we were going to have to talk about
our future at some point, and I felt that it would probably be better to talk
about it before the redhead came pounding on the door with a whip in one hand
and a pair of handcuffs in the other. So I smiled and shook my head softly.

"I don't mean that," I said, keeping my tone gentle. "I mean…what's going to
happen with us? With our relationship?"

Her smile fell away and her eyes drifted aside; already she was withdrawing
from reality, the same way she'd done with Esme. But I was determined to do our
relationship properly this time, and part of that meant dealing with our
looming issues, so I kept my eyes on her face and insisted gently:

"Don't you think we should talk about it?"

She turned her eyes back to mine and actually pouted. "Do we have to?"

I almost giggled at her expression. Her eyes were so huge and round, so eager
to be happy and nothing else, and as I looked into them I felt a strong desire
to go along with anything she wanted. But I knew that we couldn't afford to
stall this conversation much longer without interference from the other
Cullens, so I just smiled and continued stroking her back, up and down.

"We don't if you don't want to," I said, "but it's just…I don't want anything
to happen to us again. You know? I mean, Esme was right. We can't stay locked
up in here forever."

She smiled impishly. "We could try."

"And we could be disappointed, too," I said softly.

She didn't like to hear that. Her lips pursed for a second and then she rolled
off me and sat up in the bed. She even pulled the sheet up over her breasts. I
sat up beside her, leaving my upper body exposed, and wrapped my arm around her
shoulders.

"We need to figure out how we're going to deal with Victoria," I said. "She
made it very clear what she expects from both of us. And the others are no
different. They all still want you."

"I don't care what they want," she said with a sudden heat. "Because the only
thing I want—"

"Alice," I interrupted softly. "Please. I understand how you feel, but don't
you think it might be time for us to be a little more…practical about our
relationship?"

She frowned; maybe she didn't understand the word practical.

"What do you mean?" she asked, almost sullenly.

I smiled, as if to set her at ease, and began stroking her back again. I had no
speech prepared, but as I started speaking it seemed like I was saying the
right things.

"Listen," I said. "I'm not blaming you, but the fact is, you have a strange
family. I know how special you are to them. And I know they're special to you,
too. Or else you wouldn't have stayed with them this long. All your life you
believed it was okay to have sex with whoever, but then you met me, and…"

"And I realized that you're the only woman I'll ever want," she interrupted,
turning to me with another pout, a pout so adorable that I had to fight off the
urge to simply kiss her and deal with all this later.

But it was time to stop hiding in sex, so I smiled understandingly, nodded, and
said: "I know, but you can't expect them to be cool with that so easily. Jane
told me you turned all of them—aside from Victoria," I added quickly. I smiled
over my fumble, and continued caressing her shoulder. "I mean, that's gotta be
a tight bond, right? They probably love you just the same as I do."

Alice went sullen. "If they loved me they'd want me to be happy."

"I'm sure they do," I said, "but maybe…maybe they believe they can make you
happy as well."

I had no idea what I was getting at, but Alice was having none of it.

"No, they can't," she said, looking at me with her heartbreakingly huge eyes.
"Only you can. I don't want anyone but you, baby. No one. Just you."

I struggled wordlessly for a moment. I pulled up the sheet to cover myself,
shrugged helplessly, and finally I said: "I do want to make you happy, Alice. I
just…I'm not sure if I can."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly. "Of course you
can, baby," she whispered in my ear. "You're doing it now. All you have to do
is love me. That's all."

But I shook my head and pushed her away gently.

"It's not that," I said. "I'm not sure if they'll let me…make you happy."

She seemed to understand what I meant, and when I put it like that, there was
no light quip she could come back with. She let her hand drop from my shoulder
and she looked down at the bed, holding the sheet against her chest.

I watched her a moment, my brows crinkled in concern, and then I went on.
"Alice, I love you," I said. "I really do. But I'm not the only one. They love
you too. And there's really not much I can do about that, you know? Victoria
and Rosalie will never give up on you, and I know Jane won't either. The others
are probably the same. And I know part of you still loves them, too. I mean,
you created them. They belong to you, same as me."

"I don't want them," she whispered, still not looking at me.

I could tell I was getting through to her, so I wrapped my arm around her
shoulder and went on more warmly. I still had no idea what I was saying, but it
felt better than saying nothing at all. It felt like a solution of some kind.

"I know," I said, "but don't you think it's a little unfair to ignore them like
this? You'll always have me, and I'll always love you, but…do you remember that
night back in Forks, when we went dancing with Jane and Leah? And we went back
to your house, all four of us? I mean, there was nothing wrong with that,
right? You said it would be okay as long as we loved each other, and you were
right. After all, they're still your sisters. And they're going to be my
sisters too, right?"

Alice still wouldn't look at me, but she didn't seem upset, she just sat there
with her beautiful shoulders slumped, staring at the rumpled sheets. She looked
like she wasn't even listening, but I knew she was. And I knew she knew I was
right.

So I shifted in front of her gaze, took both her hands, and smiled at her
reassuringly. She looked at me. The sheet had fallen in our laps and the
exposure of our breasts at least made her smirk grudgingly.

"Alice, listen," I said. "We've come too far to fuck this up again. I mean, we
only just got back together, and we can't afford any complications right now.
Esme tries to be understanding, but what's going to happen when Victoria comes
knocking on the door? You know she will eventually. So why don't we just…"

"Just what?"

I hesitated. I couldn't outright suggest we go sleeping around with her family,
and that wasn't even what I wanted, anyway. All I wanted was for Alice to stop
kidding herself that everything would be fine as long as we keep fucking.

"Well," I said, and then something occurred to me. "Why don't we go horseback
riding with Jane and Leah?" I suggested. "I mean, wouldn't it be nice to just
hang out for a while? I'm sure they'd love it if we spent some time with them.
What do you think?"

I was trying to keep it simple, but of course she had to complicate it.

"What about Vicky?" she asked.

But that was too much for right now, so I just shook my head. "We'll deal with
that later."

Alice looked at the thin red scar in my neck where the redhead had slashed me
with her fingernail. The stitches were gone and with so much venom in my system
it had almost healed. She touched it with a fingertip.

"I can't forgive her for what she did to your poor neck," she said softly.

I smiled and swallowed the lump in my throat. The scar was just the physical
injury. There were so many other things Victoria had done to me that Alice had
no idea about. She had no idea that Victoria had abducted me. That she'd
threatened me and made me lie to her on her deathbed. That she'd raped me.
Alice knew none of that.

And I wasn't going to tell her. Maybe one day, but not right now. Right now we
needed to focus on ways of stabilizing our relationship any way we could, so I
took her hand away from my neck and kissed it.

"You would've died if she didn't," I said.

She looked at me sadly. "I wanted to."

"Well, I didn't," I said, and then wrapped her into a hug, pressing my chest
into hers deliberately. "I love you, Alice. And I plan to love you for a very
long time. Okay?"

"Okay," she whispered.

I released her and smiled. She still seemed a little glum, and after a couple
seconds of silence, I decided to steer the topic back to safer waters.

"Do you like horses?" I asked.

She nodded tentatively. "Yeah."

"Can you ride?"

"Of course."

"Well, I'd love to watch you," I said, and as I said it I realized that I
really did. "I bet you'd look really cute on a horse, with those cute little
helmets they wear. What do you think?"

I made my tone playful and flirty, and she tried to smile, but it wasn't up to
her usual efforts.

"Is this what you want?" she asked.

I cupped her cheek and placed a kiss on her lips. The tips of my breasts
touched hers and then I pulled back. "All I want is for you to be happy,
Alice," I said, caressing her face. "And I know you'll be happiest if you can
get along with your family."

She pouted at me cutely. "I don't care about them," she said. "All I care about
is you."

I smiled; so stubborn. I knew she really did love me that much, but I knew as
well how carried away she got in her role as soulmate. I also knew that she'd
been with her family for centuries, and even if she was willing to forsake them
all for me, it wasn't necessarily the best thing for her – or them.

"Why don't we just leave, baby?" she asked suddenly, with a sudden excitement.
"Like how we planned in Forks? Remember? We can leave and never come back. And
it'll be just us forever? Hm? What do you think?"

I was already shaking my head. I didn't want to runaway like a fugitive, and I
couldn't take Alice away from people who loved her so much. There had to be
someway we could all be happy.

"I can't ask you to leave your family, Alice."

"You left your mother," she pointed out.

I looked aside. "That's different."

"How is it different?" she asked.

Because I didn't leave her. I was torn away from her. But I couldn't explain
that to Alice, so I didn't answer, I just smiled at her sadly. She looked at me
for a long moment, but when I did nothing but gaze back, she looked down. My
silence seemed to speak louder to her than anything else I'd said so far, and
when she looked up she seemed subdued – but serious.

"I'm sorry, baby," she said. "I know I'm being childish, but you have no idea
how…grateful I am to have you back. I never thought I was going to see you
again, and then you came back, just for me, and now…And now I'm just so scared
to lose you again. I know we can't stay in bed forever, baby, but that's
exactly what I want. That's exactly…"

She trailed off and shook her head. She gave a little snort.

"I suppose that's always been my problem," she said. "I want the impossible.
You'd think I'd learn by now, but I can't." She sighed and looked at me with
her huge eyes. "Do you remember all that stuff I said when I was dying?"

I nodded. Tears prickled my eyes at the memory.

Alice took my hands and looked into my eyes. "Well, I meant it all," she said.
"And I still do. So from now on, it's not about me, okay? It's about you. Let's
focus on making you happy. Because I trust you, baby. Every decision I've ever
made for us has been wrong, so now it's your turn to try. I'll support you all
the way, because I know you love me, and I know you'll take care of me. So
we'll do anything you want, okay? I'll do anything you want me to do.
Anything…"

I gripped her hands and looked into her eyes insistently. "I just want you to
be happy, Alice."

"I will if you are," she said, and then she cupped my face with one of her
hands and smiled. "Okay?"

"No," I whispered. "You have to be happy first."

I was staring at her lips longingly and her lips smiled.

"Well," she said. "I suppose that might be okay sometimes." She placed a kiss
on my lips and whispered: "Wanna make me happy right now?"

"Yes," I whispered back breathlessly, letting my mind haze over as her scent
and pheromones invaded my head. "I want to make you happy forever."

The time for talking was over. I had no idea if we resolved anything or not,
but it was enough for now. The kiss had deepened and soon I was moaning
desperately into her mouth. Her tongue was docile and I realized she was in one
of her passive moods, the moods where she liked me to take control. So I did. I
flung away the bedsheet that lay tangled between us, leaving us both entirely
naked, and then I laid her head on the pillow and kissed her, deeper, harder,
licking the delicious venom directly from her mouth.

My hands were roaming her silky body and I stroked her naked thigh up and down
and then I bought the hand up and cupped her breast. I abandoned her mouth for
a moment to suckle at her nipple, but she pulled me by the hair into another
kiss, and we kept kissing, moaning together now as our bodies writhed as one.

Finally I broke the kiss and looked into her flushed face silently, trying to
anticipate what she wanted. But the doll-like devotion in her lidded eyes
suggested that she wanted whatever I wanted to do to her, so I smiled and
kissed her once more and then I dismounted from her hips and remounted over her
mouth, straddling her face backwards so that I could lean down between her open
legs. It was my favorite position, and I knew Alice loved it as well. We kissed
at each other's netherlips and entered each other with our tongues, moaning and
making little gasps as our love moved between us like electricity, hers into me
and mine into her, a circle of lust and longing without beginning or end that
nothing will ever break.

—

That afternoon we went horseback riding with Jane and Leah and Tanya. Alice was
reluctant to leave bed, but her mood had softened into a pouty playfulness, and
it wasn't so difficult to herd her into the shower with a couple well-placed
spanks on her gorgeously bare ass. We had sex again in the shower, naturally,
and then we got changed. We both wore jeans and sneakers, and Alice sorted out
a pink top for herself and a baggy black one for me, and by the time we were
dressed Alice was already grumbling about how she wanted to go back to bed. I
placated her with a quick licking, and then I zipped up her jeans, kissed her
crotch, and feigned excitement about going to see the horses.

As soon as we got outside, she began grumbling about the sunlight—even though I
knew for a fact that it didn't affect vampires—and I found it hilarious how
much our roles had reversed. Back in Forks it was me grumbling everywhere we
went, wanting nothing more that to simply be alone with Alice. And now here I
was, leading her by the hand into an actual social situation while pretending
to be enthusiastic.

But, as I suspected, she cheered up as soon as she saw her sisters. They were
waiting out the stable, and Jane lit up when she saw me and Alice strolling out
toward them with out hands clasped.

"Ally!" Jane squealed, and then she ran over and literally tackled Alice to the
ground in a hug. Our hands ripped apart, which felt a little ominous, but I
smiled to see them happy. Alice giggled and Jane rolled her over and pinned her
to the grass. "Esme said you were gonna go riding with us, but I didn't believe
her."

Alice was smiling, but she pushed her sister off and squirmed away gently.
"Bella wanted to see the horses," she said, subtly making it clear that she was
only here for me. "I just wanted to stay in bed."

Jane's grin slipped. Alice stood up and wrapped her arm around mine
possessively. Jane glanced at me, and I felt sorry for her, so I quickly said:
"Alice says she's pretty good on a horse, so… Besides it's been a while since
we've seen you guys. I thought it would be fun."

The word fun restored a bit of Jane's grin. "Yeah, well," she said. "We all
like a bit of fun, huh?" Then she took my free hand and began tugging us toward
the stable. "Come on, let's check out the horses. One of the mares foaled last
month and the filly's the prettiest thing you ever saw, I swear. You're gonna
love it."

Leah and Tanya were still waiting by the stable. Tanya made some comment as we
approached, looking at me as she said it, and Leah smirked, took her hand, and
pulled her into a kiss as if to make her feel better. Tanya accepted the kiss
very eagerly, and as we went passed into the barn, Leah opened one eye as she
made out with the blonde and gave me a wink.

An hour later Jane, Alice, and Tanya were mounted up and cantering about the
meadow. There were several unsaddled horses within the enclosed pasture and the
little filly that cavorted among the riders shyly and snorted and neighed and
came trotted back to it's mother.

Leah and I were watching with our elbows resting on the wooden fence, and Leah
told me that the house belonged to Tanya's father who lived in New York, and
how the estate occupied many hectares of land, including a vineyard and what
used to be a ranch. Tanya herself was simply a blonde socialite with little
education and no ambition, who wanted nothing more out of life than to have fun
and go shopping. She spoke very fondly of the blonde human, watching her gallop
across the plain perfectly poised in her saddle with her long hair blowing, and
I remembered how Jane had said that Leah liked her. I kind of got that
impression as well, but Jane and Leah were soulmates. If Leah liked Tanya at
all, it was probably only the same kind of affection you'd feel for a good
vibrator.

But in the end, I wasn't really interested in Tanya. If she spoke english—she
was learning, Leah said—it might've been nice to sit down and trade tales of
vampiric seduction like the pair of fang-bangers we were, but I got the feeling
she didn't like me so much, and honestly I didn't like her so much either. From
everything I'd heard about her, she was basically exactly like me; an empty
bimbo who happened to stumble into a coven of horny vampires. The only
difference was that she was rich and she had a huge house and she was basically
far more desirable than me in every respect. She was even blonde. The only
advantage I had was that I was younger by a few years, and even that was a
matter of preference. Technically speaking, Tanya was the superior slut.

But the one thing I had that Tanya never would was Alice.

So I focused on Alice, because after all, that was the only reason I was out
here. I wanted to watch her ride and spend some time with her family, and as I
predicted she did look awesome cute on a horse. She rode a pale gray mare that
cantered through the pasture with a haughty air, trotting and tossing it's head
smartly as Alice reined her about and rode back through the meadow, leaping a
windfall log with perfect grace.

In truth, I guess maybe we could've had more fun in bed, but it was nice to see
Alice and Jane getting along. Although it rankled me every time Tanya called to
her in those beautiful French syllables of hers. Jane was Alice's sister, and
after everything the two of them had been through together, I wanted them to be
as close as they wanted to be. Tanya, on the other hand, could go fuck herself.

Leah and I had fallen silent for a while. Jane had scooped up a broken branch
from the grass and she was chasing after Alice with it on horseback, shrieking
with giggles and threatening to brain her. I glanced at Leah, and I was
surprised to see her watching Tanya who was simply sitting her horse and
watching Jane, calling out in French. Jealousy niggled at my stomach, and I had
a sudden urge to distract her from my rival human, so I said:

"How come you're not riding?"

Leah looked at me and smirked. "In this skirt? I don't think so."

It was a black denim miniskirt with gold stitching; very hot, but not really
riding apparel. But god, her legs were sexy. Copper-colored in the sunlight,
perfectly shaped. Leah was built better than any stallion I'd ever seen.

"What about you?" she asked.

"I don't know how."

"Alice could ride you around."

"It's alright," I said. "I like watching."

There was a shriek from the horsewomen and I saw that Alice had taken Jane's
branch and was now chasing her with it. I smiled as Alice rowled her horse
forward, and then I called out a cheer as Alice took a swing at her sister.
Leah smiled at me.

"It's nice Alice finally let you off the leash," she said. "We were starting to
think we'd never see you guys again. How's it going with you two?"

I thought about the question, and I realized that I really had no way to answer
it. Appearances were deceiving and even though everything was fine right now,
there were still so many complications to deal with. But now, right now, I
guess things were good, so I nodded pensively. "Great," I said. Then I smiled.
"Better than ever."

Leah chuckled as if she knew exactly what I was thinking. "Yeah, well, sex was
never your problem, was it?"

I smiled and look down at the grass. She was right; sex was the one thing we
never got wrong.

Leah watched me for a moment and then nudged me with her elbow. "Listen," she
said. "You and I are gonna be sisters soon, if we aren't already. So if you
ever need relationship advice, or vampire advice, or even if you just need
someone to talk to, you can talk to me. I know how to keep a secret, and you
know I care about you."

I blushed, unexpectedly touched. "Thanks," I said. She gave me a nod, and we
went back to watching the horse games for a minute. But I thought about what
she said and I thought about my problems, and I glanced at her with butterflies
in my stomach, at my new big sister, and said: "Um, can I talk now?"

She smiled at me. "Sure."

"It's about Victoria," I began hesitantly.

Leah nodded. "What about her?"

I struggled wordlessly for a second, and finally shrugged. "I don't know what
to do," I said. "Alice is crazy about me all over again, and I want her to be
happy the way she wants to be happy, but Victoria…"

"Won't let you," Leah finished for me. "Yeah. I know. Ever since you
disappeared into Alice's room two weeks ago she's been a real bitch. She hardly
leaves her room, either. She's been trying to wait patiently, but she was never
a real patient woman. She loves Alice more than she'll admit. It shook her up,
when Alice was dying."

My stomach tightened. I knew the redhead hadn't given up on Alice. She was
probably giving us time to stabilize our relationship—since obviously our
relationship was at a sensitive point—but eventually she was going to make her
demands. She was a frustrated dominatrix – which sounded really hot, but kind
of dangerous, too.

I sighed, looking out across the field. "So what do you think I should do?" I
asked.

"Depends," she said. "How do you feel about BDSM?"

Honestly, it really turned me on, but admitting that probably wouldn't help my
argument, so I said: "Well, it's not really my thing."

Leah chuckled as if she knew I was lying. "Yeah," she said. "But that's what
domination's all about, isn't it? Taking away the choice. You know what I think
you should do?"

I turned to her, hoping for some magic answer. "What?"

But she only shrugged and said: "Just go with it. You're gonna be a vampire
soon, so you might as well come to terms with the lifestyle. Vampire's can't
function as only a pair. You can feed from each other, sure, but without a
fresh third you'll just get drained and die. You regenerate blood as a human,
but you won't as a vampire. You're body won't accept transfusions, either.
Feeding isn't even about the blood, anyway. It's not thirst, it's lust. You'll
see when it happens to you. Besides, Vicky isn't so bad as long as you give her
what she wants. She doesn't want to take Alice from you. She just wants to
share. You and Alice can still be soulmates – and have a lot of fun while
you're at it."

What she said made perfect sense, but that only made it worse. I looked out
across the paddock and watched Alice gallop over a grassy hill, riding erect in
the saddle with one of those little bowl-helmets on her head, smiling up at the
sunny sky as a passing bird caught her attention. There was a sudden ache in my
heart and I was reminded of how happy I wanted to make her – and how clueless I
was on how to achieve that.

I lowered my eyes and shook my head. "I'm not sure if Alice wants that," I
said.

Leah snorted. "Why wouldn't she?"

"She says she only wants me."

"And you believe that?"

I looked at her and nodded. "Yes," I said, perfectly sincere. "I really believe
her."

Leah didn't know what to say to that. Then she smirked and gave me a small chin
toss. "And what about you?" she asked. "What do you want?"

I looked across the meadow at Alice. She was riding her horse beside a patch of
wildflowers and without stopping she slipped a foot out of the stirrup, leaned
down from the saddle, and plucked one of the flowers.

"I just want Alice to be happy," I said.

Alice came riding over with her flower and a smile, and she reined up at the
fence beside me and Leah. The flower was pale pink and leaning over the fence
with a giggle she threaded the flower behind my ear.

"For my beautiful princess," she announced gallantly. "It's not as pretty as
you, but flowers don't have boobs so it's not really a fair comparison."

I blushed like a bitch and touched the flower at my ear. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," she said, and then took my hand. "Now come on, get up here.
I'm taking you for a ride."

"Oh, I don't…"

But she was already pulling me onto the horse and I had to step up onto the
fence boards to avoid stumbling. Leah's hands appeared on my jean-clad
ass—giving me a weird thrill—and together they managed to shove me onto the
saddle. I was sitting sideways in Alice's lap, my arms around her, and as Alice
touched up the horse with her heels, Leah gave me a quick wink as if to say
thanks for the feel. I blushed, but then I turned my attention to Alice's face,
and slowly I forgot about everything else as the horse cantered off across the
paddock with me jostling in Alice's lap and gazing at her lovingly.

Jane and Tanya were riding their horses among the other unsaddled horses in the
pasture, chasing them along the fence, and Jane called out as Alice and I went
by. But with all the neighing and the noise of hoofs, it didn't seem that Alice
heard her, or if she did she ignored her. Over Alice's shoulder I saw Jane's
face darken, but Alice rode on and when she reached the fence she flicked the
reins and the horse leapt the barrier and galloped on, Alice giggling with my
arms around her as she beared me away in the bow of her saddle like a storybook
princess. Another voice called out behind us, but this time neither of us
heard.

Alice rode me over a tall grassy rise to where a small still-water lake sat in
the distance, and she rode me over to the lake and trotted the horse through
the shallow tea-colored water at the shore, the water exploding under the
horses hoofs and splashing our jeans as we giggled and laughed. She dismounted
beside a tree and helped me down with her hands at my waist. I watched her
looped the reins around a low branch, the anticipation of lovemaking already
building in my stomach, and finally she turned into my arms and captured my
waiting lips.

Slowly we began to remove each other's clothes, disconnecting the kiss to pull
our tops over our heads, fumbling with bra catches and the zippers on our
jeans. I stuck my hand in her panties and groped her naked butt, making her
squirm against me, and then she hooked her thumbs in the waistband and pushed
them off, kicking them aside with a flick of her foot. Together we knelt down
in the grass, still kissing, and she yanked my panties down to mid-thigh and
put a hand between my legs, wriggling a finger up inside me. I shivered and
hissed into her mouth:

"Oh fuck I love you, Alice."

"I love you too, baby," she panted, and then she withdrew the finger abruptly.
"Come on, get your panties off."

I did as she instructed, watching as she spread our discarded clothes in the
grass, making a small bed for us. The horse was watching too, which was mildly
disconcerting, but at least it was a girl-horse. I knew that male horses aren't
actually interested in human females, but I don't think I would've been
entirely comfortable making love to my girlfriend with a huge horse-cock
swinging nearby.

Finally my underwear was gone and the bed was made. We were both sweaty and
smelly from the horse, which wasn't ideal conditions for oral, so we did trib
instead with me spread naked on our clothes and her between my legs, riding my
clit with more enthusiasm than she'd ever shown the horse. She had left her
riding helmet on and I gazed up at her as she rubbed her clit against mine,
watching her breasts sway with the movement as the orgasm built in her flushed
face.

"Oh god I love you, Bella," she said, between pants. "Maybe it was a good idea
to get out of bed after all…"

Our climaxes were approaching, and we were coordinating for them to happen
together. We were breathing deeply and moaning, and we had our eyes closed, so
we didn't see the interruption coming. But we heard it, and soon as the
pounding hoofs came riding up, our eyes snapped open.

"There they are!" Jane called out cheerfully. "Told you they'd be off fucking
somewhere!"

Alice was pissed. "Jane!"

It was Jane, Tanya, and Leah, Leah riding up bareback on one of the unsaddled
horse, a handful of mane twisted in her fist and her denim miniskirt hiked
deliciously to her hips.

Alice had scrabbled off me and was grabbing for a piece of clothing. I'd
already draped a forearm across my large breasts, which concealed my nipples at
least, and I'd managed to close my legs as well. Alice threw a top in my lap,
and I arranged it to cover myself, thinking how cute it was that she was
worried about my own nudity before hers. She then pulled off her helmet and
covered her crotch with it, holding my t-shirt against her chest.

The riders had arranged themselves before us and were grinning at our
predicament. Jane and Leah's amusement was wholesome enough for vampires, and I
didn't mind it, but Tanya's smirk was just a little more irritating. She looked
at my hardly concealed boobs and said something in French that made Jane
giggle. I had no idea what she said, but I had the feeling I'd just learnt the
French word for cow.

Alice glared at her and spat something back in French. The blonde's grin fell
away and she began to stammer an apology, but then Jane, still grinning, said
something else in French and both of them snickered. Leah just smiled, watching
our mostly naked bodies, and Alice glared at Jane.

"Do you think we could get a bit of privacy?" she asked coldly.

Jane obviously wasn't expecting her to be so upset. Part of her smile slipped
away, but she kept most of it in place, pretending to be casual. "Can't we join
in?"

It was probably a fair question. In such a liberal household you wouldn't think
it was such a big deal, but Alice was different from all the other vampires,
and Alice had her own set of rules. I glanced at her, and while her glare did
falter a little, she didn't relent.

"Jane…"

"Well, why not?" Jane insisted, a hint of desperation showing through her
brittle smile. "Come on, it'll be fun."

Alice didn't answer. She turned away and looked sullenly into the grass, as if
she'd lost something small in it and couldn't find it. Jane looked at her,
waiting for a reply, and her smile just disappeared. Leah had stop smiling,
too. Tanya just sat her horse quietly, realizing that something just got
serious.

I looked at Alice, wondering if I should say something, but what could I say? I
didn't want Alice to do anything she didn't want to do, and I didn't really
want to do it, either. I was happy with just Alice, I really was. But I felt
bad for Jane. I had the impression that she was on the verge of being seriously
hurt, but when she spoke next I knew that she wasn't on the verge at all.

She was already hurt.

Jane snorted and steadied her restless mount. "You know what, Ally?" she said
coldly, glaring down at Alice. "Sometimes I wish you never met that bitch."

Then she turned the horse and rode away. Tanya quickly followed, and Leah
sighed.

"Don't worry," she said to me, "I'll talk to her."

I nodded, and then she touched her heels to the horse's ribs, and rode off to
catch up with Jane.

Alice's eyes were glistening and she looked like she didn't know if she wanted
to be angry or sad. I wrapped an arm around her naked shoulders and pulled her
into a hug. I felt so sorry for her. The worst thing was that I had no idea how
she truly felt. How could I when she probably didn't even know herself? No
matter how much she claimed that I was the only woman for her, it was difficult
to overlook the fact that I was nothing special and before me she'd been
happily polygamous for centuries. Well, almost happily.

"You okay?" I asked after a moment.

She was hugging me back and I heard her softly: "Why can't they just leave me
alone?"

I smiled at her incredible naiveté and kissed her cheek. "Because they love
you, baby," I told her, and then took the helmet out of her lap and set it on
the grass. "Now come here," I said, pulling her into a kiss. "It's my turn to
do some riding."

Alice was more than happy to retreat into sex, and I was more than happy to
oblige her, at least for now. Emotional turmoil always caused her to regress
into her passive state, so I used her passiveness to show her how much I loved
her, laying her back against the clothes we'd spread in the grass as I began to
kiss her and stroke my hands all over her body.

"I love you, baby," she kept whispering. "I love you."

"I know, Alice," I said, and then I aligned our clits and started rubbing them
together, softly at first and then harder and harder, grinding them as she lay
with her eyes closed under the sun, the breath hissing in and out of her pretty
chest.

When we were done, we put our clothes back on and walked the horse back to the
stable, leading it by the headstall. It was late afternoon and the sun was
beginning to set beyond the rise trees. We didn't pass through the pasture, but
when we got back to the stable we found Jane and Leah.

Jane was brushing down the horse in the stall at the end, and she gave us a
sullen glance as we came in but said nothing. I almost smiled; it was obvious
to me that she'd been waiting for Alice. Jane wasn't an animal-girl, and I was
pretty sure that she'd have more fun torturing the horse with knives than
brushing it. Leah was sitting on a haystack behind her, and as we came in she
smiled and stood up, as if she could finally stop waiting. She swatted at the
seat of her miniskirt to remove a few stray strands of straw, and Jane went on
brushing the horse, bathed in the orange twilight that fell through the
westward windows like a lonely cowgirl, her blonde hair shimmering and her ass
particularly pert in her jeans.

Alice and I had stopped. We were each holding either side of the horse's
headstall, and the horse tossed it's head impatiently. Alice looked at Jane and
then looked at me across the horse's nose. Her honey-colored eyes were large
and unfathomable, but I knew my Alice, and I knew my Alice loved her sisters,
even if she forgot sometimes. So I nodded at the unasked question, took the
reins from her hands, and said softly:

"Go talk to her."

Alice's lips moved slightly, a sad flicker of a smile, and then she turned and
walked across the stable toward Jane. She passed Leah as Leah was coming toward
me, and they exchanged glances, but that's all.

Leah took the headstall of the horse I was holding and wordlessly led it into
one of the stalls and began unbuckling the girthstraps. I stood there watching
Alice. She said something to Jane's back but Jane ignored her. She continued
brushing stubbornly at the horse's mane, and Alice watched her for a moment.
Then she touched Jane's shoulder just gently.

Jane stopped brushing. Her hand lowered and she turned around slowly. Alice
spoke to her quietly. Jane let her gaze drift over the straw-strew floor. They
were roughly the same height, and when Jane looked up at Alice, they were
totally eyelevel. Alice smiled and cocked her head cutely. Jane smiled back
grudgingly. Alice giggled and placed a chaste kiss on Jane's lips. Jane smirked
and said something flirty. Alice pretended to think about it, and then she
placed a longer kiss on Jane's lips. Jane giggled and began to plead playfully.
Alice pouted about it for a while and finally she gave Jane another lingering
kiss, cupping her face this time, and then she kissed her again, and again, and
finally Jane opened her mouth and Alice deepened the kiss, wrapping her arms
around her neck as Jane spun her around and pressed her up against the flank of
the horse, deepening the kiss even further.

Leah was standing behind me and she placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You okay with this?" she asked.

I nodded, but I wasn't entirely sure. It didn't feel right to see Alice making
out with another woman, but I reminded myself that this wasn't just any woman,
this was Jane and Jane was Alice's sister. I remembered Jane's story of their
life together, and I knew that Jane deserved this.

And so did Alice. Alice deserved all the love in the world. Who has the right
to judge, anyway? Alice and I were still soulmates. Nothing was ever going to
change that. Alice had only clung to her dreams of monogamy because she knew
the whole time that she wanted us to die together, that she'd never have to
face her family again. But now that we had decided to live, we had to be more
practical. Alice couldn't ignore her family forever and I couldn't let her
leave them. This was the right thing to do.

So why did it feel kind of wrong?

Leah's hand slipped from my shoulder and trailed down to my waist. She turned
me toward her and cupped my face with her other hand. "You sure?" she asked.

I nodded again, more firmly. "Yeah," I said. "Alice really does love you guys.
She just forgets sometimes."

Leah smirked. "And you?"

I chuckled once, mostly at myself. Because her smoky eyes and cocky smile were
reminding me that I was still a complete and total slut, and even if it didn't
feel right, it was still probably going to feel pretty good. So I looked at her
lips and said: "I like you guys, too."

She kissed me, and I let her tongue inside my mouth with no resistance. I heard
a moan from the far side of the stable. It sounded like Alice, and this caused
a strange pang in my heart. It occurred to me that maybe Alice was right, that
maybe we should've just stayed in bed forever, just me and her. But then I
reached down and grabbed at Leah's ass, and the delight I felt to find that she
was wearing a thong under her skirt managed to drive away the bulk of my
reservations.

It would've been nice if we all could've had sex in the stable like in a
raunchy regency romance, but eventually reality intervened, and the smell of
manure and the atmosphere of flies and dirtiness soon drove us back into the
house. We showered in pairs and then the four of us pounced on the bed and
began giggling and swapping each other around and sticking tongues and sex toys
into the various entrances in each other's bodies. Like the last time all four
us had hooked up together, there was a very clear repression between Alice and
Jane, and soon Leah and I had picked up on it and decided to help them work
through it. So we fucked them from behind with strap-ons while they made out
with each other on all fours. I was doing Alice and Leah was doing Jane,
gripping onto their hips and thrusting into them with our boobs jiggling,
smiling at each other and thrusting harder and harder in broken rhythm, as if
to see who could fuck the hardest. Alice and Jane were soon moaning very
loudly, and when they came they came gasping into each other's mouths. After
that they cuddled and kissed while Leah and I made out with the strap-ons
poking each other's tummy's, until Jane and Alice fluttered back to life,
removed the strap-ons, and went down on our soaking pussies.

It was a lot of fun, and the feeling of wrongness had soon faded to nothing.
Jane was very conscientious of the fact that Alice and I were soulmates, and
she did her best not to hog her. Leah seemed to favor me more than Alice, but
like Jane she didn't hog. Alice and I never went without contact for very long,
and by the time we kissed them goodnight, we were both very happy to promise to
do this again sometime.

Alice and I returned to our room, and we showered and went to bed, had sex, and
showered again. We put on our sleep clothes and settled under the covers, but
within the hour the clothes were on the floor and we were having sex one more
time. I was very exhausted by now, but Alice's mood was giddy, and she made me
hold her for a long time as she chattered away in the dark. She talked about
how it was nice that we were able to share our love with Leah and Jane, and
that she'd been so silly to ignore them all like this, and that I'd been right
the whole time and she really did love her family. But she loved me most of
all, and I was still her soulmate, and she'd never truly love anyone else, and
she assured me of all this with a kiss, and she kept kissing me, and soon we
were having sex again, writhing naked in the dark with our soft breaths
whimpering between us.

—

***** Chapter 32 *****
Skip to next chapter.

***** Chapter 33 *****
—

Chapter 33:

—

Two more magical weeks flew by. Alice and I were inseparable. We rarely went an
hour without at least holding hands, and we took every opportunity to express
our love for each other in various affectionate and explicit ways, making love
in bed, in shower, in the pool, on the staircase one time. Sometimes with
company, but mostly just us.

Eventually we got out of the house and it was just like a honeymoon. I'd never
been in Paris, and Alice was excited to take me around to visit various
historical landmarks, although I had to admit I'd never been much of a history
buff. Still, it was a surprise to find out how educated Alice was, and
everywhere we went she delivered detailed and educational orations that
would've been painfully boring to listen to in anyone else's voice.

She didn't even need a guidebook. We rode to the top of the Eiffel Tower and
she informed me of it's exact height in inches and centimeters, talking about
it as if she'd been here a million times, adding that it was the equivalent of
an eighty-one story building. The magnificent city of Paris lay sprawled for
miles below us in its pristine afternoon clarity, and I pretended to be
impressed, but the view really wasn't as beautiful as Alice, smiling in the sun
with a jaunty blue beret perched at an angle atop her pretty little head.

We visited the Palace of Versailles and Chateau de Chambord, and we toured a
circuit of Cathedrals that included Sacre-Coeur and St Sulpice, strolling these
holy places on the arm of a vampire as she commented on the architecture and
looked for a quiet place where we could sneak in a quickie. We visited the Arc
de Triomphe, and I was surprised that the sculptured façade featured a troop of
naked French boys locked in battle with a bunch of bearded Germans. Maybe I'm
just an uncultured American, but it really did seem just a little silly. Men in
history seem to take themselves very seriously.

Leah and Jane would come along sometimes, and one day we all went to The
Lourve, even Esme and Carlisle. Tanya came along as well, and it almost felt
like a family outing, together with that French step-sister I didn't really
like.

The museum itself was okay. A cluster of tour groups surrounded a roped off
area and as we got closer I realized it was the Mona Lisa hanging on the far
wall. My companions all grinned at me and asked what I thought of it, leaving
me to form an opinion of my own, which wasn't really something I excelled at.
Honestly, it seemed a little ugly—and kind of tiny—but I didn't want to sound
like an idiot so I pretended to be sufficiently impressed. Jane said it sucked,
and Alice giggled and suggested that maybe it was a little overrated, and even
Carlisle allowed that the Titians were much nicer.

The Titians were actually pretty cool, and so were the Reubens, but the
painting I liked best was Boucher's Diane Sortant du Bain, which showed a pair
of naked blondes taking a bath together. One of the chicks was even staring at
the other chick's legs. It wasn't as hot as some of the pictures I'd seen
online, but it was the best history had to offer, it seemed. Some of the
sculptures were pretty cool too, especially the Venus de Milo. She had no arms
and her boobs were a little small, but I'd do her.

All in all it was an educational and fun-filled day, but to be completely
honest, I think I spend more time looking at Alice's ass than any of the
exhibits. Still, it was nice to spend time together as a family. Carlisle wore
a charcoal-colored suit and strolled with Esme on his arm like the dreamy
gentleman he used to be in Forks, and secure in the knowledge that he was
actually a woman, I allowed myself a few flickers of attraction whenever he
spoke to me. Jane devoted most her energy to bickering with Alice,
contradicting her every opinion on every piece of art, and Leah seemed to be as
bored as I was. We whispered wise-cracks about the paintings, and the only time
she left my side was when Tanya was demanding attention. Leah did seem to have
a soft-spot for the French whore, and grudgingly I had to admit that they did
make a cute couple.

It was funny how much we all felt like a family, and as I watched Alice and
Jane slap at each like unruly teenager with Esme scolding them and Carlisle
watching with a smile, I was glad that Alice and I had decided to share our
relationship. Nightly group-sex was a small price to pay for family unity, and
most of all it was great to see Alice happy and living.

But as much fun as family time was, the most interesting event of the day was
when Alice and I broke away from the main group so she that she could show me
her favorite painting. I would've preferred a quickie in the bathroom, but
Alice was almost breathless with excitement to see what I thought, and I had to
admit I was curious at what kind of outrageous artwork could make her so
anxious.

The brass nameplate said Les bergers d'Arcadie. The Shepherds of Arcadia. At
first glance it looked kind of boring. It was a pastoral oil on canvas, and it
featured three shepherds hovering around the entrance of a tomb in the
countryside while a maiden in beautiful robes looked on.

"It's called Et in Arcadia Ego," Alice said, holding onto my arm. "What do you
think?"

I nodded as if I was impressed. "Pretty cool," I said.

Alice smiled at me and rolled her eyes. "Do you want to know what Et in Arcadia
Ego means?" she hinted.

I blushed; I should've thought of that first. If I was going to be a perfect
girlfriend I was going to have to learn to feign curiosity in my partner's
interests. So a arranged my face in an appropriate expression and asked: "What
does it mean?"

Alice smiled and turned to the painting. "Loosely translated it means 'Even in
Arcadia, I am there.'"

I raised my eyebrows, even though the translation meant nothing to me. Where's
Arcadia? Who is 'I?' Why should I care? But luckily my art-loving girlfriend
didn't keep me burning with curiosity. She had studied at Sorbonne many years
ago, and her knowledge of art history could rival any professor.

"It's a painting about mortality," she went on, still holding my arm. "Arcadia
is a metaphor for paradise, and the shepherd's shadow on the tomb is a metaphor
for the looming inevitability of death. So basically, it means that death
exists even in paradise. That even in paradise…we all die."

Her voice was soft and almost hesitant. I glanced at her and I was surprised to
see her blushing discreetly, as if she'd just admitted some embarrassing sexual
desire. Which, in a way, maybe she did. It was clear that the subject was dear
to her heart, and I knew from experience that she had a bit of a death-fetish.
This was the kind of girl who's idea of a perfect junior prom was getting naked
and killing each other.

But I'd gotten over that a long time ago, and I loved her too much to be
uncomfortable at the reminder. Alice was a twisted girl with twisted dreams –
but that's part of what I love about her.

So I turned back to the painting, and looked closer, trying to share her
interest. Unfortunately, I wasn't an artistic person, and my observations were
mostly rudimentary. There were three shepherds. One of them was crouched at the
tomb. His shadow was thrown across it and he seemed to be examining it. The
woman just seemed to be standing there, and finally I asked:

"What about the woman?"

It seemed to be the most fascinating thing to me. She was dressed in beautiful
robes, watching the shepherds. I knew enough about art that there had to be
some kind of symbolic significance, but I'd never figure it out unless someone
told me. Even then there's no guarantee I'd understand.

Alice smiled at my enthusiasm and went on, quietly excited. "The woman is a
symbol for art," she said. "It's a complicated painting, a very intricate
composition. The shepherd tracing the silhouette of his shadow on the tomb with
his finger is a reference to the ancient tradition that this was how the art of
painting was first discovered. But the shadow itself is symbolic of death.
Combined, the meaning of these two themes suggest that the discovery of art was
humankind's response to the shocking discovery of mortality. Thus, death's
claim to rule even in the paradise of Arcadia is challenged by the maiden—who
symbolizes art—who must insist that she was discovered in Arcadia too, and that
she is the legitimate ruler everywhere, whilst death only usurps it's power. In
the face of death, the duty of art—indeed, her whole reason for being—is to
recall lost loved ones, console anxieties, evoke and reconcile conflicting
emotions, surmount isolation, and facilitate expression of the unutterable."

I tried hard to understand, but I didn't really. I've always been dumb about
certain things, and this seemed to be one of them.

"Oh," I said. "That's pretty cool."

Alice smiled and gave a small giggle. She knew I had no idea what she was
talking about, and I immediately regretted pretending. I should've let her
repeat it until she drilled it right into my head.

"Yeah," she said softly. "I just wanted to show you."

She went to leave, but I remained rooted at the exhibit. She was still holding
my arm and she turned back to me. I nodded at the painting.

"How come you like it so much?" I asked, hoping to encourage her.

It worked. She smiled and gave a small shrug. "I don't know," she said. "Death
is something I think about a lot. Especially lately. Well, that's not true.
I've always thought about it. Ever since I was a girl. Death always seemed so
much nicer than life. No pain, no unhappiness. No nothing."

She trailed off. Her voice had gone soft and distant. I watched her, thinking
about the kind of life she'd had, and then I squeezed her hand supportively.

"You had a hard life as a human, didn't you?" I asked gently.

I was intending to let her know that she could talk to me about the truth if
she wanted, but she only giggled and brushed it off.

"Well, it was rough times back then," she said. "If you had to grow up before
they invented cellphones and sex toys you would've been suicidal too."

I smiled, but in my stomach I felt a gaping pit. One day I wanted her to tell
me the truth from her own mouth, but I wasn't going to push her.

She sighed and turned her eyes back to the painting on the wall. A tour group
was passing behind us in a strange din of five different languages, and after a
moment Alice spoke.

"But yeah," she said. "It was pretty rough. Vicky saved me in so many ways when
she took me in. She was always possessive, but that's what I liked about her.
She made me feel treasured. She made me feel safe."

I didn't answer, but the mention of Victoria made me nervous. It had been
almost a month since I'd come to Paris, and neither of us had even seen
Victoria or Rosalie since we got back together. It was still a problem we had
to deal with, but I had no idea how. I guess it was logical to extend the
family intimacy to include the blonde and redhead as well, but would that be
enough? Would Victoria be satisfied with having Alice and I as special friends?
Or will she want more?

"Do you miss her?" I asked.

Alice smirked saucily. "Don't you?" she countered. "As I remember, you were the
one who had the softest spot for her."

She wasn't being mean, but I felt a wave of shame. Twice the redhead had
successfully seduced me and once had she raped me and made me like it. Alice
didn't even know about the third time.

"Sorry," I said. But I also noticed how she didn't answer the question.

Alice smiled and turned back to the painting. "But it's not just death," she
went on. "Death is very fascinating, but what I like most is the use of the
maiden as a symbol for art. The painting suggests that art is humankind's
remedy against death, and at the same time it suggests that femininity—or even
just beauty—is art's muse. I like that implication. The implication that beauty
is what makes life bearable. That beauty is the thing that soothes the fear of
death. It's a theme that resonates with me personally, because I've always felt
that way. Well. Most of the time, at least."

She lowered her eyes from the painting, but she didn't lift them to me. She was
still holding my arm with one of her hands clasped with mine, and her smile
seemed a little sad. A strange throbbing had started in my chest, and even
though I still didn't exactly understand what she was talking about, I wanted
to make her feel better somehow. Finally she turned her shy little smile to me,
and said:

"Before you came back to me, I really felt that I was ready to die. Because I
finally felt that I had a real reason. I thought you hated me, and by dying I
thought I was letting you go, letting you be happy without me. It felt noble."
She looked away with a blush and glistening eyes. "I still can't believe that
you still love me after everything I put you through."

The word love was finally something I understood, so I quickly rushed to
reassure her. "Of course I love you, Alice," I said. "I loved you from the
second I saw you."

"But you did hate me for a while," she said. "Didn't you?"

"No," I said, with no hesitation. "I told you Alice, I never meant those things
I said at prom. I mean, I was calling you the very next morning to apologize."

A surprised giggle escaped her, as if this was an unexpected delight. "Really?"

"Of course," I said, wrapping her into a hug. "I never wanted you to go."

She hugged me back, and for a few moments I simply held her tightly. I wasn't
used to being the strong one, and weak as I was, I guess that's what I had
become. Alice's rock. She needed me in the most primal way a person could want
another person, and I wanted so desperately not to disappoint her. I wanted to
make her happy. More than anything, that's all I wanted.

A year go, her talk about death would've disturbed me—and it had. But not
anymore. Alice was a centuries old vampire, and if I was going to be with
her—if I was going to make her happy—I was going to have to be open and
understanding of all her dreams, even the dark ones. I wasn't convinced that
death was the best thing for us, but at the same time I didn't want her to
suppress her true desires. I wanted to love her—all of her.

So I sighed and rubbed her back soothingly. "We never did get a chance to talk
about what happened that night," I whispered. "Did we?"

Alice didn't answer, but I felt her stiffen slightly. I released the embrace so
that she could see in my face that I only wanted to talk.

"Do you still feel that way?" I said. "Do you still want to…?"

Alarm flittered across her face and she covered it up with a playful chuckle.
"O-of course not," she said. "You were right, that was so stupid."

I smiled. Usually she was a far better actress than that, but maybe I took her
by surprise. Either way, it was obvious that she was only telling me what she
thought I wanted to hear. She didn't know how committed to this relationship I
was determined to be, and maybe now it was time to let her know.

"It's okay, Alice," I said gently. "I'm not gonna freak out. I just want to
know what you're feeling, that's all."

She was shaking her head, actually struggling for words. "I don't…"

Obviously she wasn't ready to talk about it, and I guess it wasn't really the
kind of conversation you'd have in the middle of a museum. So I rubbed her
shoulder and smiled to set her at ease.

"It's okay," I said. "We don't have to talk now if you don't want. Just
remember that I'm cool to talk about it if you want to. I respect your dreams,
Alice. Whatever's going on inside you, I want you to talk to me about it.
Okay?"

She looked unsure, as if she suspected I might be trying to trap her in some
way. But she nodded, eager to abandon the topic and get back to pretending that
there were no issues at all between us. "Okay," she said.

I smiled and took her hand. "Come on," I said. "Let's find the others."

—

***** Chapter 34 *****
—

Chapter: 34

—

Monday morning found me fidgeting on a kitchen stool, waiting for Alice. She
was determined to make me breakfast—I do have to eat something other than pussy
sometimes—but there was no flour in the cupboard, so she had to run to the
pantry.

And so I was waiting, chewing the fingernails of one hand and tapping the
fingernail's of the other on the countertop, glancing every two seconds at the
microwave clock like an addict waiting for the methadone clinic to open. So
much of her venom was in my system that it really didn't feel right to be
without her for even a moment or two. Call me clingy, but I really did prefer
her to be within touching distance, or at least within eyesight.

I sighed, wondering what was taking her so long. How can a kitchen have no
flour in it? Then again, I guess Tanya isn't the most domesticated young woman
in Paris. She'd probably never cooked in her life. Leah had told me that the
estate was supposed to have a full staff, complete with cooks, maids, a driver,
even security guards. But it was supposed to be locked up this time of year and
technically no one was supposed to be here. Tanya normally spent her springs in
South America, but she met Leah and Jane at a nightclub here in Paris, got
drunk, and went crazy on Leah. She'd never been with a woman and technically
she wasn't even a lesbian. Just a general slut who'd learnt not to discriminate
between genders. That was about six months ago. The coven moved in with her
pretty soon, and they seem to like her even though it was also true that they
were taking advantage of her. The Cullen's had plenty of money, of
course—millions from various investments over the decades—but they liked the
human company and the fresh blood. The only person who didn't like her so much
was Alice. Alice was cool with her family because she had loved them way before
she loved me, but there seemed to be no room left in her heart for Tanya. A
girl only has one soulmate. Alice didn't need some French bimbo – she already
has her whore.

A very frustrated whore, at the moment. I huffed out a breath, and looked out
the screendoor. Patio and the pool further back. Sunlight glistening off the
water. Maybe Alice and I should go swimming today. Maybe we could get Carlisle
to join us. For a pretend-dude, she's got a pretty hot body. Small tits, but
nice abs.

Or maybe Alice and I should just go back to bed. I'm not even hungry anymore.
And when is she going to turn me, anyway? So many questions. And what about
Victoria? When is she finally going to crack and come after us? We gotta do
something about that. Maybe we should just walk into her room and take off our
clothes. That would be simplest. Kind of hot too.

I looked at the microwave clock again. Okay, four minutes and Alice still isn't
back. Should I text her? Would that be too needy? What could possibly be taking
so long. Maybe I should've just said yes to the croissants, like a true
Parisian. It's not like I love pancakes so much that I absolutely have to have
them. I only liked them because they were the only thing mom could make without
totally fucking it up.

Mom.

My fingernails stopped tapping and a dark feeling settled over me. But it
wasn't that I missed her – it was shame that I didn't.

Mom.

She was always my bestfriend. The person who was always there for me, who never
let me down. Well, aside from that one time she demanded I break up with Alice.
But that was in my best interests, so it would be unfair to hold a grudge. She
deserved to be missed so much more. It was the vampire venom. It worked similar
to the Thirst. It doesn't exactly kill your empathy, but it did make certain
other things seem far more important, things like sex and feeding. But I did
miss her. It wasn't a crippling agony of loneliness. But I really did miss her.

I sighed and looked aside, trying not to think about it. But as I did, my eyes
landed on the cordless phone that was just sitting there on the counter on top
of a pile of fashion magazines. Suddenly it occurred to me that I'd never even
called her. My cellphone was long gone, but Alice had bought me another one.
And there was a phone right here – so why hadn't I called?

Because what could I say? Chances are I was never going to see her again. It
would be cruel to call her. Or maybe it's cruel not to. By now I guess I'd be
legally dead. Should I let her believe that? Or should I let her know that I'm
okay? That I'm with Alice again and that I'm going to be happy? And beyond all
that, it was long distance. What about the phone bill?

I picked up the phone, frowning at it anxiously. My thumb hovered over the
numbers to my old house, my stomach churning, and finally I began inputting the
number. Maybe she's not home. Maybe—

"Hello?"

Oh god.

I almost dropped the phone. It was mom's voice. I hadn't expected it to affect
me so much. Tears sprang to my eyes and all I could do was breathe.

"Hello?" she repeated. "Is anyone there?"

Her voice sent waves of coldness washing over and it became apparent for the
first time what a truly terrible person I am and what a destructive force Alice
has been on every aspect of my life other than my heart and pussy.

I wanted to hang up, but I couldn't. I couldn't possibly speak to her, but I
continued holding the phone at my ear, my hand shaking slightly. She was silent
for a few moments, listening to me breathing softly. I'd been surprised at how
casual her voice had been, as if she was simply answering the phone, but when
she spoke next her voice came quiet and quavering.

"Bella?" she whispered. "Sweetie is that you?"

I held back a sob with all my might and hit disconnect just as it broke out.
But I didn't cry. I put the phone back on top of the magazine—noting the
covergirl's cleavage with a quiet sniff—and then I wiped my face with my
fingers and took a deep shaky breath. I was completely shocked at how much I
suddenly missed her.

Mom.

How could I ever leave her?

I sniffed again and when I looked to my left Alice was standing in the archway
that led into the kitchen.

"I couldn't find any flour," she said quietly.

I forced myself to smile, but Alice's presence really did make me feel better.
Alice was all I needed. I'd always miss mom, but I'd always have Alice.

"That's okay," I said. "I'm cool with cereal."

She looked at me for a moment with concern in her pretty face and she seemed to
know exactly who I'd been calling. Who else would I call?

But she could see I was trying to be brave, so she gave me a smile, and then
she tore off a square of papertowel and handed it to me. I blew my nose.

"Do you miss your mom?" she asked hesitantly.

I could see the guilt in her face, and all I could think about was making her
feel better – nevermind that I was the one almost in tears.

"A little," I admitted with a shrug. "But I guess I had to leave her some day."

She wrapped her arms around me from behind as I sat on the stool. Her chin was
resting on my shoulder and I smiled at her warmth and scent.

"Did you get to say goodbye?" she asked.

The truth of my return wasn't very flattering to the image I was trying to
cultivate as Alice's one and only true love who's feelings never waned for a
single second during her entire absence – so I was forced to lie.

"Not really," I said. "I mean, what could I say? She wouldn't understand. She
never did. And when Vicky told me what happened…all I could think about was
getting back to you."

I felt a little guilty for telling such a self-serving lie, but even if it
wasn't true in fact, it was true in spirit. It was how I wish it had happened –
and suddenly I understood the root of Alice's own lying. Because now I was the
same. Neither of us were trying to lie – we just trying to make our dreams come
true, that's all.

Alice's arms tightened around my middle and nuzzled my neck. "I love you so
much, baby," she whispered into my ear. "I don't deserve you."

A year ago I might've argued with that, but this time I allowed myself to feel
the justice of it. Alice was a completely fucked up young woman who had
destroyed my life – but I still loved her.

"I'm really sorry you had to leave your mom," she added. "I know how much you
loved her. And I know she never liked me. I tried really hard to treat you
properly. But I guess I just couldn't do it. I'm sorry. I fucked up so much,
didn't I?"

I patted Alice's arm, which were still wrapped around my middle. I shook my
head, her chin rubbing on my shoulder. "You didn't fuck up anything, Alice," I
said. "I mean, here we are, right?" I pried her arms loose and sat her on the
stool beside me. I composed her hands on her lap and smiled at her. "A lot of
bad shit has happened, sure. But we're still here. Still together. And
nothing's ever going to change that, right?"

Alice nodded, blinking back tears. I smiled and I was about to change the
subject when she suddenly blurted:

"Baby?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

I chuckled; my, how our roles have reversed lately. I was never going to get
used to Alice as the insecure one.

"Sure," I said.

She hesitated. Her brow was puckered cutely and she was biting her lip, and
finally she asked:

"Did you leave a girlfriend in Forks?"

I'd been smiling, prepared for any kind of question – except that one.

"I know it's none of my business," she added quickly, alarmed at the fade of my
smile. "And it really doesn't matter, but…I just wanted to know. That's all."

And I knew why she wanted to know, too. The truth would sadden her, no matter
how much she claims she doesn't care, so again I was forced to lie. But it was
a lie I wished was true, so I sounded sincere. I smiled and shook my head.

"No," I said. "Of course not."

She might've suspected I was lying; a glimmer of suspicion came into her eyes.
"What about Lauren?" she asked. "You always liked Lauren."

The name Lauren made my stomach tighten, and for a second I remembered her so
clearly as I left her, her platinum hair with dark streaks, her nose ring, her
combat boots, the tattoo on her neck. Her smile, which had been so rare before
she hooked up with me. Her swearing. Her abrasive attitude. Everything, so
different from Alice. I did love Lauren, but Lauren was a rebound, and in the
end my heart always did belong to Alice.

So I smiled and shook my head again. "You know I could never get over you,
Alice," I said. "I was miserable after you left. All I did was pray you'd come
back one day."

It was an impressive ad lib, and it was effective; the suspense melted out of
her face and her shoulders sagged in relief.

"Really?"

I smiled at her. "Of course."

She bit her lip, struggling with herself. Obviously she was happy that I
couldn't get over her, but aware that this was selfish and against her dying
wishes. In the end, selfishness won out, but tempered with humility.

"Thanks baby," she said softly. "While I was dying, I really wanted you to move
on and be happy. But that was only because I thought you hated me. I'm such a
hypocrite. Because now that you're here…I'm so glad you loved me that much."

This time there was no shame or guilt at the lie. It didn't even feel like a
lie, it felt perfectly true. And in a way it was. It wasn't what happened, but
it was what should've happened.

In any case, I felt it was time to change the topic to something more playful,
so I smiled and placed my hands on my knees.

"Now," I said. "What to eat? I still need breakfast, ya know."

An impish smirk appeared on her lips, and she retreated instantly into the
suggestion of sex. "Well," she said coyly. "What would baby like?"

I mirrored her smirk. "You know what I'd like."

She leaned forward on the kitchen stool, closer to my mouth. "Yeah?"

I felt her breath wash warmly over my lips, my head hazing over from her
pheromones. "Yeah," I whispered, and then I closed the distance and covered her
lips with mine.

But we were only really getting warmed up when we were interrupted.

"Good lord," Esme said as she walked in. "Every time I see you girls you have
your mouths fastened to each other in some way or another."

Alice peeled her lips from mine and grinned. "Hey, give us a break," she said.
"We're young and in love."

She then hopped off the stool to kiss her mother good morning. Of course, Esme
wasn't her real mother, and Alice's intimacy with her had taken a quantum leap
lately. Esme had put the coffee machine on—as the youngest vampire in the coven
she still enjoyed human things—and Alice spun her around, grabbed her face, and
planted a huge tongue kiss on her mouth.

It turned me on. I don't usually react with hornyness to warm displays of
filial affection, but there aren't many daughters who's affection is as graphic
as Alice's.

The kiss frazzled the momma-vamp and when she had use of her mouth she said:
"Oh my."

Alice giggled and gave her a playful spank on her womanly behind.

The doctor-chick had come in, too, only this morning he was doctor-dude. I'd
only seen his feminine side a couple times. For the most part he—or she—seemed
more comfortable in a male role. I didn't know if she was a dedicated butch, or
kind of transsexual, but either way it was pretty hot when you got used to it.
She shaved under her arms, and that was all I needed to know.

This morning he was wearing a three piece suit, navy in color, and he came in
adjusting one of the cuffs, smiling at his family, obviously bound for some
appointment in the city. "Morning, Alice," he said, greeting his favorite
first.

Alice jumped at him.

It seemed to take all of us by surprise.

He stumbled as her body crashed into his, and she latched onto him with her
legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, and she proceeded to stuff
her tongue in his mouth. When she finally pulled it out again, she smiled at
him point blank, and said:

"Morning daddy."

Esme and I shared a look which was almost an eyeroll. Truthfully, it made me
just a little awkward to see Alice make out with something in guy's
clothes—even if he was female underneath—but part of being a family was putting
up with all the inner-relationship. Most families hate each other; this one's
kind of different.

In any case, I guess it was natural for the whole thing to swerve into some
good old fashioned group sex. Alice was still fastened to Carlisle, and
Carlisle's hands were supporting her weight by gripping under her ass.
Honestly, this made me extremely jealous. I mean, is it too much to ask that
some things—like Alice's ass—belong strictly to me? Alice gets to keep my blood
all to herself. Why should I have to share her ass?

But I didn't get a chance to complain. The doctor-dude was also a decent-dude,
and he was even more supportive of Alice's relationship with me than Leah. So
he didn't take advantage. He set Alice down on the kitchen counter in front of
me, and Alice's legs immediately unlocked from around his waist as she spun
around to face me with her legs open. She was horny from all her making out and
as she lifted her pleated skirt I caught a waft of her delicious scent.

"Breakfast is served, baby," she said.

I grinned. It was a disturbingly slutty situation, but after living over a
month with a coven of horny vampires I'd learnt to regard such circumstances as
cute. I started tugging down her panties.

Carlisle gave me a wink over Alice's shoulder, and he was going to leave us
alone, but then Alice's hand snatched out and grabbed his tie.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I have an appointment to see about—"

Alice didn't care about his appointments, and with a little jerk of his tie she
pulled his face onto hers. He took the hint and began tonguing her. He was
standing behind her, her open mouth tilted back to his, and soon he'd lifted
her top and started stroking her breasts.

By now I had her panties off, and after reassuring myself it was me she loved
more than anyone and maybe all this was only temporary anyway, I leaned down to
her pussy and placed a long lick across it, eliciting a long moan that was lost
in the doctor's mouth. I kept licking, and after a couple licks, I heard Alice
bark at her mother:

"Esme, forget your fucking coffee! Get over here!"

"I'm sorry, dear, I just didn't want to interrupt—"

"Esme!"

"Coming, honey."

I smiled into Alice's pussy and pushed my tongue inside it.

Ah, Alice.

She might call them mom and dad, but we all know who the real matriarch is.

—

That afternoon, Alice and I played tennis with Leah, Jane, and Tanya. The
estate had it's own tennis courts, so it was just the five of us. Victoria and
Rosalie were still holed up in their room, emerging only occasionally to prowl
the Paris nightclubs, and by this point even Jane was getting worried. She had
a mild hero-worship of Rosalie, and she missed her. Victoria had been keeping
her pet blonde on a tight leash lately, and Victoria herself was in the
weirdest mood anybody had seen from her in three centuries. Something was
seriously bothering her – and I had a feeling I knew what it was.

Honestly, I had no idea why she'd left us alone this long. Sometimes I tried to
convince myself that she had given up and she was prepared to let us be happy
together, but I knew that was bullshit. Victoria was a proud woman, and that
pride sometimes made her passive. She preferred her prey to come to her, but
Alice and I hadn't, and we still hadn't really talked about it. Alice was
having a hard time forgiving her former mistress for her treatment of me in the
past—and she didn't even know about the worst stuff—and she had been stubbornly
determined to avoid both the blonde and the redhead.

And me, with all the various physical and emotional injuries I'd suffered at
their hands, was hardly more eager to knock on their door and offer myself and
my girlfriend as sex slaves. I don't care how hot it would be; I have pride
lately.

And yet we couldn't avoid them forever. Soon, very soon, something was going to
have to be done, and preferably before the redhead explodes into a dominant
rage and decides to whip us into submission.

Personally, I was at the point where I'd be willing to include them in our
small circle of family intimacy, but it just seemed so awkward. I didn't want
any BDSM bullshit. I only wanted Alice to be happy, and even though I knew she
was happiest with only me, I also knew that her coven's happiness was part of
that. She tried to be thick skinned about it, but I could tell how badly Jane's
jealousy had hurt her when we went horseback riding, and I could see how
wounded she was at every longing glance Esme would give her. And the only way
to resolve all that, was sex. So even if neither me nor Alice were fully happy
with the arrangement, it was a fair compromise. No relationship is perfect and
if we have to give up a bit of pussy every now and then, well, it's not like
we're both not total sluts anyway.

But the redhead was a different matter. For one thing, I didn't really care if
she was happy or not. With Jane and Esme, I cared. I felt sorry for them that
they had to go without Alice. But for the redhead, I really felt nothing at all
other than a niggling anxiety. Not even fear, really, because deep down I was
confident that I could handle anything she threw at me. I had nothing left to
lose anymore, and if it came down to a cat fight, I'm sure the other Cullen's
would back me up.

But I did care about the blonde. Rosalie. I had no idea how her head
functioned, but she was obviously torn between a mistress and a wife, and even
more obviously it was Alice that she loved the most. I still remember her
jealousy back in Forks when she first met me. The sheer distain in her eyes
that I taken Alice away. That Alice had chosen me over her. It was mind
boggling to me too, at the time, but I think I understand now. Alice preferred
me because I was a clean-slate. Someone she could mold into her perfect
soulmate. She had turned out to be a pretty shitty sculptor, but I was trying
my hardest to meet her expectations, and right now I had to figure out what a
perfect soulmate would do in this situation.

It wasn't easy. Sitting around doing nothing was almost certainly the wrong
thing to do, but I could think of no other practical course of action, aside
from tying the redhead down, driving a stake through her heart, and putting her
out of Alice's misery. But Victoria was a favorite with the Cullens, and deep
down I knew Alice wouldn't want that. Victoria was Alice's mistress, and they
did have a bond, even if it wasn't love.

And that was the key problem, really. I mean, this was a woman who fully
believed that Alice belonged to her—like a literal possession—and I was suppose
to do what? Share my soulmate like some kind of sex toy? At least the rest of
the coven actually loved her, and even if it was wrong and depraved, there was
at least a fundamental foundation of emotional intimacy.

But the redhead?

Does she love Alice?

I remembered her jealousy, her bitterness, her smoldering rage that had grown
and grown over the course of our relationship. Back when Alice and I first
hooked up, she had seen me as such a minor threat that she would barely lift a
finger to seduce me. Now she had abducted me, cut my neck open, and fed me to
Alice because she couldn't bare to see Alice die.

Yeah.

She loved her.

And what can I do about that? I had no idea, but I had to come up with
something fast. Something that didn't involve slavery or staking. Something—

But the thought was knocked out of my head by a high velocity tennis ball. It
made a loud thud off my forehead and my head snapped back.

"Jane!" Alice screeched.

I rubbed my temple. "Ow."

We'd been playing tennis for over an hour, and when I say 'we,' I meant
everyone but me. Jane and Alice were playing doubles against Leah and Tanya,
and I was sitting on the sidelines, watching. But then I'd become absorbed in
my thoughts, and in my distraction I'd left myself open to a high-speed smash
from Jane.

Jane was shrieking with giggles and Alice had dropped her racket and come
running over. Tanya was snickering behind her hand, and even Leah was smirking.

"Oh my god, baby, are you okay?" Alice said, brushing away my hand so she could
peer at the wound. But it was a tennis ball, not a bullet, so I was pretty sure
I'd live.

"Yeah, I'm alright," I said, and then I leaned aside so I could glare playfully
at Jane. "Fuck you, Jane," I called out. "The fucking net's over there, you
blind bitch."

Jane smirked. "You honestly think I wasn't aiming for you?"

Alice abandoned her duties as nurse and spun around to Jane, but she was
grinning. "Oh, you fucking bitch," she said, advancing toward Jane. She picked
up her fallen tennis racket and pointed it at her sister like a sword.
"Apologize to Bella right now."

"Fuck that," Jane said.

Alice smacked her with the racket. It bounced off Jane's blonde head with a
twanging sound and Jane staggered back.

"Ow!"

"Apologize!"

Jane backed away cheekily. "Make me," she said, and with a yelp she started
running – just as Alice bolted after her.

Tanya burst out laughing and called out in French. I chuckled. Alice and Jane
started chasing each other around the court with their rackets aloft like girl-
berserkers, Alice screaming for Jane to apologize, Jane laughing and leaping
the tennis net, Alice swiftly at her heels. Finally Alice tackled Jane to the
ground right at my feet and pinned her down.

"Apologize to Bella!"

"No!"

Leah shook her head and wandered over, Tanya in tow. "You two are worse than
children."

They both ignored her.

"Apologize," Alice demanded.

Jane had been trying to thrash her way out, but Alice had her wrists pinned and
all her weight on Jane's body. Jane went still and pouted.

"No," she said.

Alice smiled dangerously. "Jane," she said. "Don't make me make you. I know
your weak spots."

"Leah!" Jane yelped. "Help!

Leah chuckled and shook her head. "Oh god," she said. "Listen, I wouldn't be
comfortable getting involved in such a serious fight, so me and Tanya are gonna
hit the showers. We'll let you adults resolve your problems."

Jane pouted on the ground under Alice and gave Tanya a jealous glance. "Fine,"
she said, "but take it easy with that slut. You're pussy belongs to me, ya
know."

Tanya frowned prettily and said in a thick accent: "I know slut."

Jane grinned. "Aww, isn't that cute? She knows she's a slut. Someone give the
girl a pat on the head, she's so smart!"

"She mean's she understands slut in English," Leah told Jane with a smile, and
then she turned to Tanya and took her hand. "Allons, laissez-nous vont."

Leah began leading her away and Tanya snapped over her shoulder at Jane:

"Vous etes le slut."

Jane giggled. "Well, that's probably true," she said, then smiled at Alice on
top of her. "Can I get up now?"

"Can you apologize to Bella?"

Jane rolled her eyes to me. "Sorry," she said with heavy sarcasm, and then
turned back to Alice. "Happy now?"

"Bella, do you forgive her?"

Jane groaned.

I was still holding my temple, but I smiled and nodded.

Alice released her and hopped to her feet. Jane jumped up and dusted the back
of her skirt. We were all in tennis clothes, white tanktops, white miniskirts,
and all of us in white underwear, too. I'd been peeking.

Alice grinned. "Good," she said. "Now…kiss and make up." She giggled coyly and
laced her hands behind her back. "I wanna watch."

Jane and I gave a collective eyeroll, but there was no real hate between us and
we did like to please Alice. So we did it. Jane stepped up to me, snaking her
hands around my waist. She tilted her face up to mine, and I cupped her cheek
and pressed my lips against hers. There were still so many unresolved issues
between me and Alice that required my attention, but it was really difficult to
stay focused with distractions like this.

And I did like Jane. She was mean and violent, and she'd just smacked a tennis
ball into my head, but she was really cute and of all the Cullens I think maybe
she loved Alice most. Sometimes that made me jealous, but other times—like
now—it seemed really sweet.

I let my tongue into her mouth, and because I knew Alice was watching, I
reached down and groped her butt under her skirt, giving it a healthy squeeze.

"Oooh," Alice said, with a little giggle. "That's hot."

Jane and I kept kissing, and Alice came over and added her hand to mine,
pressing it harder against Jane's behind until Jane smirked away from the kiss,
turning to Alice for Alice to try her lips. I watched them kiss with the kiss
only inches away from me, their tongues touching and mingling together, and
then Alice turned to me and started kissing me, our hands still squeezing
Jane's butt. Jane leaned her face into ours and we made it a triple kiss, our
tongues tangling and our hot cheeks mashed together.

We made love on the tennis court with much giggling and playing around. Jane
kept looking for props to use, but Alice and I convinced her not to stick the
tennis rackets anywhere they might not fit, and we even persuaded her not to
take down the net so she could wrap it around my naked body in a form of light
bondage.

The sun was setting by the time we were done, and we walked back to the house
together, the three of us with our hands clasped, strolling down the garden
path toward the rear of the house. Jane's blonde hair shone in the last of the
twilight and Alice's panties were broken and in my pocket.

"So when are you guys finally gonna give it up to Big V?" Jane asked
conversationally. "That chick needs to get laid so bad. Leah and I talked to
her last night. We asked her if she and Rose wanted some company and she sneers
at me and she's like: 'If I wanted your company, Jane dear, I wouldn't require
the offer.'"

Jane did a very good hoity-toity accent and Alice giggled.

"Bitch needs to get with the times," Jane said. "Nobody talks that shit
anymore. It's not like she can't speak American if she tries. I don't know how
Rosalie puts up with her."

Alice stopped giggling and her smile went a little sad. We paused there on the
garden path, our sneaker crunching to a standstill in the gravel.

"What do you think's wrong with her?" Alice asked.

Jane shrugged. "She misses you," she said. "What else?"

"Do you think she's pissed?"

Jane opened her mouth for some wise-crack, but then she closed it again. She
saw Alice's expression and decided to take the question seriously. "I don't
know," she said. "To be honest, I think she's just confused. Back in Forks, she
never believed Bella was anything special. None of us did. But now she knows
how much you love her. She knows she'll never be number one in your heart
again. And she doesn't know how to handle that, you know?"

Alice nodded thoughtfully. Jane gave me a glance and then she sighed and
started backing down the garden path toward the house.

"Well, I'd better go find Leah," she said. "You guys going out tonight?"

Alice didn't answer, still in thought, so I said:

"Nah, probably not."

Jane smirked. "Cool," she said. "Catch you later then."

Then she turned and skipped back to the house. The sun had set a little more
and when I turned to Alice she was examining hedge-row that lined the graveled
path. She head her head down and with the dusk on her back she looked almost
iridescent in her white clothes.

"You okay?" I asked.

She turned to me and heaved a sigh. "Yeah," she said. "I was just sad for a
second. Vicky and I used to be so close. And Rosalie…" Another sigh. "I've had
a lot of wedding ceremonies over the years, but with Rosalie I really thought I
meant it."

"Do you miss them?"

She shook her head. "Not really," she said. "I'm just sad it has to be like
this. But it's not our fault. I mean, me and you were only trying to be
together. We never did anything wrong. Right?"

I nodded. Although, technically, Alice did drop her wife and mistress overnight
when she met me with practically no explanation and no reason beyond a skirtful
of horniness for someone new. No divorce, no trial separation. Just flat
abandonment with teasing friendship. Kind of cruel, really. She could've
handled it a bit better, but then again, that was true of everything she'd done
– and that's why it was my turn to guide the relationship now.

And most of all, I just wanted everything to be okay.

Alice was looking off into the sunset, and after a moment's hesitation, I
hugged her from behind.

"Did you wanna go see them tonight?" I asked softly.

She shook her head. "No," she said. "I'm not sure if I'll ever forgive
Victoria, but I do know that I can't go crawling back to her. And I don't want
that for you, either."

"So what do you want to do?"

She heaved a sigh. "Nothing," she said. "She's the one that ruined everything,
not me. Not you. If she wants to be friends again, it's up to her. She's not my
mistress anymore, and I'm done bowing down to her. If she wants me in her life,
she's going to have to treat me—and you—with respect. She's going to have to
let us decide who we do and who we don't want in our relationship."

I almost smiled. But only almost.

"That'll never happen," I said.

Alice turned around and smiled in the last of the twilight. "I know," she said.
"But it doesn't matter. In the end, all I want is you."

—

That night turned out to be a movie night. We were all staying in, and as we
began gathering around Jane and her video games with nothing to do, it was
proposed that we should all watch a movie. I could think of less savory
activities that we could do as a family—naked Twister springs to mind—but movie
nights were fun too.

So the whole family assembled before the humungous wall-screen plasma—Tanya
included—and proceeded to bicker about what to watch. Seven women with
completely different tastes – not a pretty scene.

Esme suggested in her demure way that maybe it would be nice to watch a nice
romantic comedy, something with Sandra Bullock perhaps. Alice debunked this
idea instantly and demanded we watch the entire Dark Knight Trilogy. A loud
groan when up at that from Jane, who said Batman sucked and The Avengers was
way better, and besides at least Spiderman had romance in it. Alice slapped her
and they started brawling. Tanya, hovering around the vast blu-ray case,
suggested something in French. Carlisle's interest was piqued and he explained
to me and Esme—who didn't speak French either—that it was a French historical
epic about the love affairs of Marie Antoinette, which were with another woman.
It sounded good to me, but Esme expressed anxiety over a sad ending—the French
queen did end up guillotined, after all—and Alice said that it didn't matter if
it had a sad ending because we were watching the Dark Knight Trilogy. Jane told
her to go fuck herself and they started brawling again. Leah, who had been
silent till now—and a little weary—said why don't we just pick something
everybody will enjoy and shut the fuck up and watch it. Alice said good idea,
and so we watched the entire Dark Knight Trilogy.

Alice was the only one who truly enjoyed it, but Alice's excitement was
infectious and soon she and Jane were babbling non-stop about how awesome every
scene was, with Leah adding a sardonic comment every now and then. Esme had
made popcorn, and although me and Tanya were the only humans in the room,
neither of us had much. Alice and Jane munched a bowl each, Leah ate a handful
for seemingly no other reason than for something to do, and Esme and Carlisle
shared a bowl between them as they cuddled on the sofa like teenagers at the
cinema. Alice and Jane were sitting on the carpet at their feet like actual
children, and Leah and Tanya were sharing a couch, and I was sitting by myself
on the couch opposite, facing the TV, but mostly glancing at Alice.

She really did love these movies, and three different times she claimed that
the trials of immortality were worth it simply to see these films and it was
going to centuries before such an artistic triumph was ever surpassed. Every
couple seconds she'd turn to me for my expression on a certain scene, and I was
soon worn out from feigning excitement, but I guess I liked the movies too. I
didn't seem to be orgasming in my pants like Alice, but they were pretty cool.
Although I got a little jealous of how Alice would stare mooneyed at the Joker
and repeat his lines word for word whenever he was on the screen. She let loose
with a squeal when he blew up the hospital, and Jane took the opportunity to
tease her about the obviously massive man-crush at work there. Alice denied it
quite vehemently – besides, his teeth were yellow.

All in all, it was great fun, but although we'd started early we didn't quite
get to see them all. We were nearing the end of the second movie when Leah's
face changed. She was the first one to notice. I was sitting with my back to
the entrance of the living room and Leah seemed to be looking past me at
someone who'd just walked in. She been smirking at the movie, and she was still
smirking, but it wasn't the same.

Alice and Jane were laughing at the awesomeness of something that had just
happened, but when Alice glanced at me for my reaction, she saw what Leah saw
behind me. Her smile completely fell away. The laughter in the room died away
as everyone else noticed. With a cold feeling settling over me, I turned in my
chair and looked over my shoulder.

It was Victoria.

I'd been half expecting something awful or gruesome, but there was nothing
awful or gruesome about what she was wearing. It was a red dress, semi-formal,
as if she was going somewhere nice to eat tonight. Just behind her stood
Rosalie, likewise attired in a semi-formal dress, white in color. It had a racy
split down the front that exposed a large swathe of her chest, almost to her
belly, and she wore a diamond collar-band around her neck.

It was silent in the room but for the audio track of the movie. No one seemed
to know how to react to the emergence of the pair and we waited quietly, as if
we ought not wake something better left sleeping.

Victoria glanced at the TV with little interest, as if she'd come down from her
room merely to see what we were watching. She wore a diamond bracelet around
her perfect wrist and she took a moment to adjusted it as we all watched. Then
she sighed and looked up at the room with a smile, neither at me nor Alice.

"Well," she said. "Rosalie and I are going to dinner. Would anyone care to join
us?"

—

AN:

Consider this a chapter break. I'm trying to get some practice with more
frequent and effective chapter breaks so I can get used to more measured
chapters for when I write my next fic. I was going to upload the chapter just
like this, but I promised Vicky and Rose would be in this chapter, and I didn't
want to break that promise again, so I decided to include the next chapter with
it. But at the same time I don't want to mess up the numbers, so technically
this is still Chapter 34. Sorry for the confusion, lol. Amateur author. Still
learning, folks ;)

PS: I don't speak French – google translations.

PS: Credit to bobbi123 for the nickname 'Big V.' I always thought that was kind
of cute ;)

—

Chapter 34:

—

Frankly I would've been less shocked if she walked in with a chainsaw and
started spilling body parts. I had no words for this bizarre turn of events,
and no one else seemed to either. A round of glances was exchanged until I
locked eyes with Alice. There was alarm in her eyes, and despite her words
earlier that day in the garden, she really couldn't fight it. The urge to obey
grew in her eyes, and finally she just blurted:

"Bella and I will go."

There was an explosion on the screen. Jane chuckled at the timing. Victoria
glanced at the movie and the acceptance of her invitation by none other than
Alice herself seemed to have no effect on her at all – but Rosalie smiled. Not
a mean smile, not a superior smile – a grateful smile, small and full of hope.

Alice jumped to her feet, suddenly unsure, and I rose too.

"Just give us a minute to get dressed," she said, and then she took my hand and
led me past the redhead, the redhead not glancing at either of us.

Alice led me upstairs, practically jogging up the steps, and slammed shut the
door behind us in our room.

"Oh god, baby, I'm so sorry."

She stood frozen, as if she couldn't believe what had just happened. I couldn't
either, but I could see the bright side. There'd been no blood shed, for
instance.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She grabbed my hands anxiously. "You're not mad at me?"

"Of course not, Alice."

She dropped my hands and started pacing. "Oh god I'm an idiot," she said. "I
just couldn't help it. I mean, you saw the way she was looking at us. She
would've been so crushed if we said no. I mean, what was I—oh god we better get
dressed!"

She raced over to the closet and tore it open.

"Um, Alice?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Is this really such a good idea?"

She spun around. She had a dress in her hands and she was holding it against
herself absently as if modeling it, framed within the open doors of the closet.

"Well, I just…"

She trailed off and looked down. As if to examine the dress, but that wasn't
what she was looking at. Finally she sighed and looked up.

"I'm sorry, baby," she said, "but the truth is I just thought it was really
sweet. I've never seen her act like that in my whole life. I mean, her last
attempts to get my attention weren't so considerate, remember?"

Victoria's way of getting Alice's attention usually involved seducing me, with
my will or against it – of course I remember.

Alice flapped the dress stressfully and went on. "I mean, what if she's
changed?" she said. "What if she's realized that me and you belong together,
and she doesn't want to interfere, she just wants to be friends. I mean, that
could be possible. What do you think?"

I didn't believe it, but Alice was very eager to be optimistic, and in any
case; a quiet dinner at a fine restaurant was better than any other grisly
scenario I'd imagined. So I tried to smile and share her optimism. "Maybe
you're right," I said.

We got changed very quickly with Alice literally tearing dresses out of the
closet one by one, examining them, and flinging them aside as I quietly took
off my clothes behind her. Finally she found two dresses which were at least
passable—mine turquoise, her's lavender—and we wriggled into them and zipped
each other up. She then dashed about as she coordinated shoes and jewelry,
agonizing over wanting to be pretty but not wanting to send the wrong signals.
I had no idea which signals would be wrong, since I also had no idea what
outcome we were hoping for tonight, but I was prepared to follow Alice's lead,
at least in fashion. Finally she whipped out the makeup and touched up our
faces—nothing too lavish—and concluded our preparations by applying a thin
layer of foundation over my neck to conceal the latest bite marks.

I hadn't worn a collar since Victoria had torn it off my neck that day I first
returned to Alice. Alice liked to cover them with makeup in public, but I think
that was mostly habit. After all, it's not I had to avoid questions from mom or
schoolmates anymore. Still, I liked the bite marks. I wore them around the
house proudly, because they were proof that Alice owned most of me. Alice and I
were happy to share our love—for now, at least—but there would always be one
aspect of our relationship that belonged strictly to us.

Alice was fretful by the time we were ready, but I told her not to worry and
repeated back her own hopes that probably Victoria was one trying to be nice. I
didn't believe it, but it was at least possible. Victoria had to realize by now
that Alice was never going to stop loving me, that she'd rather die than be
without me. Maybe it truly was possible Victoria was prepared to let us go.

But then I remembered the last time Victoria had taken me to dinner, the way
she'd smiled and acted all friendly and then threatened to kill my mother and
girlfriend if I didn't do as she said, and I realized that Alice and I might
very well be walking into a trap.

Victoria and Rosalie were still waiting in the living room, and even though me
and Alice had only been gone ten minutes, they'd already changed the movie.
Alice had recovered enough from the shock of the dinner invitation to present a
very convincing façade of carefree cheerfulness.

"Okay, we're ready," she announced, and then waved at the room. "Catch you guys
later."

No one replied, they just kind of smirked. Victoria rose from where she'd been
sitting on the armrest of the couch and smiled her velvety smile.

"Come along then," she said. "We have reservations at the Le Pomme l'Amour, and
they shant hold them forever. We're already late."

And with that she sailed past with hardly a glance at either us.

—

Le Pomme l'Amour was sited on the banks of the Seine, and even though it was
late, it was still crowded. A fancy place. We walked in arm in arm and received
an arched eyebrow from the maitre'd who stood behind a marble counter in a
tuxedo. Victoria spoke to him in French, and he led us to a table. The table
was outside under the stars and the stars were reflected in the black water of
the Seine.

Dinner was a restrained affair, at least at first, which was probably natural
when the party consists of people who regularly fuck, rape, and abuse each
other. It took a little while for Alice to get into the swing of things, but
once she built up momentum she was the life of the party as always. She
chattered about anything that came into her head, and done a very good job
pretending to be oblivious to the fact that no one was really replying.

But so far so good. I'd never been a conversationalist, but I did my best to
add some words to the discussion, and even more surprisingly, so did Rosalie.
She smiled at Alice's jokes and even laughed a couple times as Alice recalled
little memories and stories of their lives together. Back in Forks the blonde
had almost been perpetually silent aside from the occasional scathing comment
about me every so often, but she seemed to have changed. She was still
basically ignoring me, but she seemed determined to simply make Alice as
comfortable and happy as possible – which was a side of her I'd never seen. It
was as if she had truly accepted Alice's right to be with me.

The odd one out was Victoria. Despite her open invitation to dinner—which had
undoubtedly been aimed at Alice—she seemed to take little pleasure in mine or
Alice's company. She alone refused to eat and she spent the entire evening
reclined in her chair with a glass of wine in her hand, watching as all
silently.

Alice at first was fine with ignoring her, but she kept glancing, and kept
glancing, until finally she couldn't take the sullenness anymore.

"What's the matter, Vicky?" she asked cheerfully, making only a subtle
challenge. "You're so quiet."

Victoria raised an eyebrow. "Am I?" she said languidly. "I hadn't noticed."

Nearby there was a man in a beret playing a French accordion with a rose in his
lapel. I always thought the accordion was the stupidest instrument of all time,
but Alice smiled and turned back to Victoria.

"I love Paris," she said. "I keep thinking about the last time we were here, do
you remember?" But then suddenly she realized that the last time she was here
was when she'd dumped me in Forks. Truthfully, I hadn't even noticed the
oversight, but Alice paled and quickly backpedaled. "I mean, not the last
time," she said. "The time before that. It was four years ago."

I nodded conversationally. Alice and I had been through too much to stress out
over a dialogue slip. Alice was relieved I was okay, and turned back to our
dinner companions, her smile instantly replaced.

"We saw that opera," she said, "which one was that again?"

Rosalie glanced at Victoria, and Victoria, seeing that everybody was waiting
for her to join the conversation, finally decided to deign us with a little
civility.

"Mephistopheles," she said. "By Boito."

Alice snapped her fingers. "That's the one," she said. "That was so awesome. We
gotta catch the opera while we're here, Bella. You'd love it. In fact, we
should all go together."

I thought she might've gone too far with the pretense on that one, but I wasn't
the kind of person to correct her girlfriend in public. I was cool with
accepting a dinner invitation, but suggesting we all go to the opera together?
Um, no.

Victoria saw my expression and smirked. "Don't you think opera might be too
sophisticated for your little soulmate, Alice?" she suggested. "The poor thing
would be bored senseless."

It was a little patronizing, but Alice held her tongue – well kind of. Her
smile went hard and she said:

"Then Bella and I will get a private balcony of our own and have some fun
during the boring bits."

It was almost a direct challenge, but Victoria didn't rise to it. She sipped
her wine with studied disinterestness, and Alice quickly forced her friendly
façade back in place, turning excitedly to Rosalie.

"Like last time, remember Rose? When we used those opera glasses to examine
Vicky's cleavage? I mean, they're huge in real life, but through binoculars…"

She trailed off with a giggle and Rosalie and I laughed too. Victoria didn't.

I actually thought it was kind of funny—I'd love to look at her boobs through
binoculars—but my chuckles evaporated easily enough. Alice and Rosalie stopped
laughing as well.

"What's wrong, Vicky?" Alice said. "Don't you remember?"

Victoria swirled her wine glass, not looking at anyone. "I remember."

No one knew what this attitude implied, and after a few moments Alice steered
the conversation away by pretending something just occurred to her.

"Oh!" she gasped. "I gotta tell you guys what happened with Leah and Jane the
other day. It was so funny!"

She laughed to set the tone, and I hated to interrupt what would no doubt be an
amusing tale, but I really had to go to the bathroom. So I rose from my chair,
a little awkwardly.

"Um, I have to go to the bathroom," I said. "I'll be back in a sec."

Alice had already half-risen from her chair. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Oh please," Victoria snapped suddenly. "I think that might be stretching the
obligations of a soulmate a little far, don't you Alice? Let the stupid girl
out of your sight for two seconds. She won't get lost, unless she really is as
moronic as she looks."

I think we were all too surprised at the outburst to be angry. The French
accordion continued in the background and Alice sank back into her chair with a
perplexed frown. I was pretty sure she hadn't been serious about following me
to the bathroom—just another of her quirky displays of clinginess—but I laughed
it off anyway.

"That's okay, you tell your story," I said. "I'll be back in a minute."

Victoria's lip curled in a smile of disgust and her voice was scathingly
pleasant. "Oh, do hurry," she said. "I'm sure Alice will be inconsolable till
your return. Perhaps she'll attempt to kill herself again, although for the
sake of her family I hope she chooses a less lingering method than starvation.
What a terribly boring ordeal that was. And do I receive a word of thanks for
reuniting the happy lovers? No indeed. Instead I'm shunned like some kind of
leper. Perhaps I should've let you both rot."

If we'd been surprised before, we were stunned now. Victoria was almost
emotional, almost…hurt. The tirade seemed to have been pent up inside her, a
whole month of accumulated jealousy, and when she stopped herself it seemed to
take visible effort. Alice looked at her for a long moment, all her facades
slowly slipping away until her face was just blank. She was almost hurt as
well. Finally she said:

"Why are you being such a bitch, Vicky?"

Victoria raised a red eyebrow. "Am I? Forgive me. It's been such a long time
since you've deigned to grace us with your presence that I believe I've
forgotten my manners."

Rosalie was looking at her mistress anxiously and very quietly she said:

"Vicky…"

There was a touch of something admonishing in her voice, and it was the first
time I'd ever seen the blonde stand up to the redhead. Victoria glanced at her
and her face softened slightly. She exhaled through her nose and looked down
into her wine glass. She didn't speak. Rosalie turned a pleading look onto
Alice. Alice looked at me where I stood beside the table. I was moved by
Victoria's outburst, and beyond all that I still really needed to go to the
bathroom. So I nodded, giving Alice permission to do whatever she wanted to do,
and what she did was reach across the table and lay her hand over Victoria's.

"Vicky," she said. "Let's not fight, okay?"

Victoria looked at Alice's hand clasped over her own on the table cloth. There
were actually tears in her eyes although none of them fell. She lifted her eyes
to Alice's face and Alice smiled.

"We've both made mistakes," she said. "All of us. I'll always be grateful that
you returned Bella to me, but you did a lot of other horrible stuff too, so…
Why don't we just start over? I know you feel like I betrayed you, and maybe I
did. But you betrayed me too. So now we're even, okay? Let's just be friends
again."

Rosalie and I were waiting silently for the outcome of the exchange. Alice kept
her hand over Victoria's, looking imploringly into the other woman's eyes, and
Victoria seemed to be considering. The accordion was still playing in the
background and suddenly I shivered. It was a warm night, but oh god I had to
pee.

Finally the redhead sighed and withdrew her hand. "Oh, very well," she said.
"The continued drama bores me and we've known each other too long to throw it
all away now. But if you expect an apology, I will have to disappoint you. I
refused to be blamed for simply fighting for what is rightfully mine."

Alice smirked. "I don't belong to you anymore," she said, and hugged onto my
arm. "I belong to Bella, right Bella?"

I blushed at the two pairs of deathly gorgeous eyes that locked onto me, and
then I gently tugged away my arm. "Um, sure," I said, "but I really gotta…"

I cocked my thumb toward the bathroom and Alice giggled.

"Yes, baby, you go do your business."

I chuckled awkwardly and started backing away. Victoria was glaring at me and
somehow I got the impression that she wasn't particularly happy at Alice's
official declaration of having a new owner.

—

By the time I got back to the table we were all apparently ready to leave. They
had paid the check and were arranging handbags and purses. I tried not to be
disappointed that we were skipping dessert.

But we didn't go home straight away. Alice proposed we all take a stroll along
the banks of the Seine—since it was such a lovely night—and no one could think
of any actual objections. I could, but I kept silent. I was only human and I'm
sure my vampiric companions didn't share my ankles' reluctance to go aimlessly
strolling in high heels.

There was a footpath specifically designed for moonlit riverwalks and every now
and then we'd pass other couples on their romantic patrols, sauntering arm in
arm, or reposed on one of the iron benches, or making out under one of those
old-fashioned iron street lamps. The path was laid in bricks and the bricks
were yellow in the yellow lampfall. Stars winked in the wrinkled face of the
river and the water was black as ink.

We began our stroll as a group, but the ice was fast melting between Victoria
and Alice and soon they'd sauntered on ahead a little bit to where they could
talk in private. After Victoria's outburst and Alice's reconciliation, they
both seemed eager to return to a pleasant place in their relationship, and even
I had to admit that whatever was happening now was probably better than any
other alternative.

Rosalie and I were walking side by side, silently, watching our lovers who were
some distance ahead on the cobbled path. We weren't actually holding hands, but
it felt so odd that we might as well of. Of the four of us, only me and Rosalie
were wearing coats. Alice and Victoria were carrying their own draped over
their arms. I hated for Alice to be so far away—fifteen feet at least—but I
took advantage of the distance by watching her ass. Her dress was lavender
silk, short, and it fit very snuggly. Victoria's dress was flame red, loose
fitting like something you'd wear dancing, and her ass was very nice as well.
Rosalie's heels clicked along beside me and after a while I turned to her with
a smirk.

"Hey," I said. "Can I ask you something?"

She wasn't particularly happy at being spoken to, but something had changed in
her opinion of me lately, and she at least seemed willing to tolerate the idea
of a dialogue.

"What?" she asked.

I tossed my chin at our lovers up ahead.

"Who do you think's got the nicer ass?"

It probably wasn't a topic she'd been expecting. She didn't answer, but from
the sparkle in her eyes she seemed to be holding back a smile. It was too bad
she thought I was joking, because I really would've liked to know. Personally,
I preferred Alice's, but I was mature enough to admit that Victoria's would
probably win in most technical categories.

We continued walking in silence for a few seconds and finally I decided to try
another attempt at conversation. So I glanced at my silent blonde companion and
said:

"Can I ask you something else?"

"If you have to."

"Do you love Alice?"

My heart gave a strange jolt as I asked. This was another thing I was curious
about. I had no idea how the blonde worked, but I wanted to understand her if I
could.

She glanced at me, as if to gauge the seriousness of the question, and then she
nodded.

"Yes," she said. "I do."

I frowned puzzledly. "But how? I mean, I don't get it. You love Alice. But
you're with Victoria. I mean, I could understand if Victoria was just like a
fuck-buddy. But you love her too, right?"

Rosalie looked a little uncomfortable, as if it was beneath her dignity to
discuss such things with a girl like me who would probably never understand,
but she at least tried.

"Alice is my wife," she said. "Victoria is my mistress. Two completely
different things."

"You can just separate them like that?" I asked.

"Of course," she said. "I don't love Victoria, I revere her."

"Don't you revere Alice?"

She shook her head as if annoyed at the questions. "It's not the same."

"Why not?" I persisted. "And why don't you love Victoria?"

"I do."

"You just said you didn't."

She shot me a look. "Don't be stupid," she said. "I love and revere them both.
Is that really so difficult to understand?"

Back in Forks I would've been terrified at her tone, but it didn't seem to
bother me so much now. So I shrugged meekly and nodded. "Kind of," I said. "I
mean, I love Alice, but I only like Jane and Leah. And I don't like you or
Victoria at all. I only think you're hot. I don't get how you can, like, share
your heart like that."

Rosalie didn't answer. Up ahead the footpath went underneath a bridge that
spanned the river. Victoria and Alice had paused there underneath one of the
iron lamps. Victoria was smirking and Alice was flirting coyly. I guess we were
all friends again. Rosalie and I had paused as well, not wanting to interrupt
them. We stood there watching them for a second, and then I said:

"Can I ask you one more thing?"

"What?"

I turned to her. I framed my question slowly, a little anxiously. "If you had
to pick between Alice and Victoria…if you could only have one…which one would
you pick?"

She looked away. Her perfect blonde eyebrows drew together and I could already
see the answer in her face. Who wouldn't pick Alice?

But I wanted to know if she would actually admit it, so I waited. Finally she
exhaled through her nose and shrugged a shoulder.

"It's not a decision I'd be able to make," she said. "Someone else would have
to make it for me."

I nodded, and then I took the opportunity to gloat just a little. "I'd pick
Alice," I said, subtly flaunting the absoluteness of my feelings. "I'd pick
Alice over anyone."

But it didn't impress Rosalie. "Funny," she said. "Because not so long ago you
had that exact choice – and as I remember you picked your little blonde friend.
That is, until Victoria and I dragged you back to Alice by the hair."

She said it completely casual, not even looking at me. My smile dissolved and
my glow went cold. Rosalie glanced at me once, to make sure the shot hit it's
mark, and then she smirked and started walking toward Victoria and Alice.

I watched her go with a dark frown. Maybe I did pick Lauren back then, but that
was then. This was now. Everything was changed now, and as of now nothing would
ever come between me and Alice again.

Alice was smiling radiantly, delighted to be on good terms with her former
mistress at long last, and as I came over she turned that same smile onto me
and wrapped her arms around my middle. "Hey, baby," she said, giving me a quick
kiss. "Ready to go home?"

I looked at Victoria and Rosalie over Alice's shoulder. The wind rustled their
hair and their pale faces watched me with their vampiric passiveness. I gave a
slow nod to Alice's question, but now more than ever I was positive that this
was only a transitional phase in our relationship. One day I was going to have
to get her away from these people.

All of them.

—

In any case, it looked like tonight was shaping up to be one hell of a night.
Make up sex is always wild, but when the argument includes a huge-breasted
redhead with dominating tendencies, you have to believe it's going to be just
that little bit wilder.

Alice wouldn't do it without my permission, of course, but we whispered about
it in the backseat during the drive home, and she was too excited for me to
come up with any logical objections. Maybe there weren't any. I mean, obviously
both the blonde and redhead were making a mighty effort to be nice, and it's
not like me and Alice aren't, ahem, 'close' to the rest of the family. Aside
from past injuries—most which could be forgiven if I really tried—there really
wasn't any objection at all to spending the night with them.

The only real misgiving I had was Alice's excitement. Maybe it was my fault for
encouraging this kind of thing with Leah and Jane, and then Esme and Carlisle,
but all those times she had at least began reluctant. It felt that even though
she did love her sisters, in the end she was only doing it to please me,
because I said it would be best for our relationship. But that had been a month
ago, and she had become far more easy with her family lately. She still loved
me most, and assured me of that every chance she got – but she really did enjoy
being with her family too.

And now this. First she accepted the dinner invitation, and then she actually
consoles Victoria's outburst of heartbreak, and now we were on our way home to
be dominated by the very woman who'd caused most of our problems in the past. I
realized that Alice had a short memory and a tendency toward delusion, but it
really didn't seem like the kind of thing to get excited about. Speaking for
myself, all I felt was a kind of grim horniness. I'd lost respect for the
redhead, and my sympathy for the blonde had ran out ages ago; to me, all they
were was hot.

So maybe this time it was my turn to do it for Alice. Alice had done it for me
with Leah and Jane, so now I had to do it for her with Victoria and Rosalie.
Because I knew part of Alice still loved them. Not a huge part, and definitely
not a part that was ever going to damage her feelings for me. But she did love
them, and after hating them for so long, it was understandable how eager she'd
be to let go of that hate and let them back into that old corner of her heart
that she kept for them.

It was well past midnight when we got back to the mansion. Victoria showered
first and adjourned into the walk-in closet to get dressed, leaving me with
Alice and Rosalie to prepare ourselves. The three of us went into the bathroom
and took off our dresses and underwear. It was only the second time I'd seen
the blonde naked and I found her as mesmerizing as ever. Alice was near
euphoric at this point, and she teased me mercilessly about how she caught me
looking at Rosalie's ass as she leaned to turn on the shower. We left the
shower door open and we only turned off the water when we were all done. We
dried ourselves and brushed and blowdried our hair.

Looking at Alice and Rosalie naked I could see why Victoria prized them so
much. They were pretty much the epitome of their respective body types.
Rosalie, tall and statuesque, her limbs long and slender, her long blonde hair
cascading radiantly over her slim back. And Alice, small and nymphish, her
figure slim, ripe, brimming with sexual possibility, her eyes huge and full of
false innocence. They were flirting as they brushed their hair, and when
Rosalie said that none may touch her without her mistress's literal permission,
Alice took the liberty to wrap her into a kiss, giggle, and mention that what
Vicky doesn't know won't hurt her. I'd been watching the kiss silently, paused
mid-brush, my mouth open. Alice smiled at me and gave me a wink.

Well. Maybe tonight wouldn't be as bad as I thought.

Scrubbed and scented, the three of us went back into the room where Alice and
Rosalie began flittering about with lingerie and shoes, jewelry, makeup. It all
seemed a little elaborate to me, but they explained that getting ready was half
the fun and it built the anticipation too. Alice and Rosalie had been through
preparations like this hundreds of times in the past, and they had a certain
set of routines and protocols concerning what lingerie would please their
mistress. But the inclusion of a third cast some doubt over their traditional
wardrobes, and there was some anxiety over how to coordinate all our outfits
into an agreeable ensemble.

Finally it was decided not to be adventurous this first night together, so we
played it safe and wore black, but in contrasting styles. Alice was simplest,
and of course the sluttiest. She wore a black thong, black bra, black
fingerless gloves, and tall black heels, and while she changed she explained
how the outfit was arranged to draw attention to the amount of skin exposed. I
agreed. Her legs looked vastly exposed in the distance between her shoes and
thong, and somehow she looked even more naked than when she stepped out of the
shower.

Rosalie had opted for something a tad more refined, and soon she was clad in a
black lace babydoll, long black gloves made of satin that reached past her
elbows, black stockings and garter belt, and of course black spike heels that
added even more height and sexiness to her already tall and sexy body. I didn't
drool as I watched her put on her stockings, but by now I actually had a
headache from how horny I was.

And me, my outfit? Well. I had no idea where these chicks did their underwear
shopping, but these seemed to be the kind of garments that were hot even
without a body in them. Alice picked it out for me, and I do admit that I'd
rarely felt sexier. I wore a lacy black torsolette that pushed up my breasts, a
black thong, black garter, black stockings, and like my two companions, tall
black heels. Adding a little makeup, jewelry, and red lipstick, I felt almost
uncomfortably sexy, as if it was illegal to look like this. Technically I was
still underage—six months before I turn eighteen—but it probably wouldn't start
to be against the law until the redhead got involved.

Lastly, Rosalie and Alice draped a black satin sheet over the coffeetable in
front of the bed and began arranging an array of sex toys and bondage devices
on the dark cloth. Strap-ons, vibrators, dildos, handcuffs, chains, collars,
paddles, whips, gags, anything that might tickle their mistress's fancy. I
looked at some of those things and imagined them being used on me. Then I
imagined them being used on Alice. Then I blushed and focused on not
prematurely climaxing in my thong.

By now Alice was practically floating from excitement. The redhead was still
holed up in the walk-in closet, and as Rosalie tapped on the door gently to
signal we were ready, Alice came over to me and started adjusting my breasts in
my torsolette, as if to make them just right. She was grinning and her face was
alive with makeup and eagerness. She saw my face as I glanced at the table of
sex toys and giggled.

"Don't panic, okay baby?" she whispered. "I told Vicky you're not used to this
kind of thing, so she promised to be gentle. Sometimes we used to get a little
hardcore, but tonight it's just for fun. Okay?"

I nodded. Alice's excitement was as infectious as always. Besides, I was tired
and slightly drunk from wine at dinner. I couldn't even remember most of my
earlier objections, and by now I was excited as she was.

"All you have to do is obey," she said as she smoothed her hands against my
lacy bodice, her touch making me tingle. "And remember to call her ma'am. She
promised she wouldn't be strict, but submissiveness is the whole point. It'll
be fun, don't you think?"

Her huge eyes were seeking reassurance that this was okay, so I nodded and
smiled. Even if I did have reservations, I don't think I would've been able to
argue with her when she was standing right in front of me dressed in nothing
but a bra, a thong, and high heels.

"Sure," I said.

She giggled, hugged me, and gave me a quick kiss. "Stick close to me, okay?"
she said, taking my hand. "And afterwards, it'll be just us. This is just for
fun."

I noticed that she clarified three different times that tonight was just for
fun, and I wondered if she was trying to convince me or herself. Either way,
she had a point; it was going to be fun.

Rosalie had joined us and now we arranged ourselves ceremoniously at the foot
of the bed, Alice in the middle with me and Rosalie either side. "Stand like
this," Alice whispered, and I quickly copied her submissive posture, hands
clasped in front of me, feet together. Alice smiled and gave me a nod of
approval.

And finally, the redhead made her grand entrance. I'd been curious about what
she'd be wearing, and when the door to the walk-in closet opened, I turned to
look, and—

My mouth dropped open.

I'd fantasized about her in similar outfits, but none of them quite compared to
the real thing. Her equipage was mostly comprised of red patent leather and she
looked like some scarlet sex demon, smiling and strutting toward us. Her boots
reached mid-thigh and they had a heel that looked long and sharp enough to be
used as a weapon. Her long gloves zipped up the sides. Her heavy breasts
spilled from the bodice of her corset and there was a zip in the leather that
covered her crotch. Her flaming red hair tumbled about her bare shoulders and
she moved in a light creak of leather as she hove up before her trio of
slavegirls for the night and bestowed an approving smile upon our jewelry
draped black-clad bodies.

"Well," she said. "Are we all ready?"

The three of us stood with our hands clasped demurely. I was staring awkwardly
at the redhead—in disbelief at how maddeningly hot she was—but Alice and
Rosalie had seen it all before, and they were well-trained.

"Yes, ma'am," they said.

I was so startled that I jumped slightly. I realized that I was supposed to say
it too, so I tried.

"Uhh," I said.

I sounded so retarded that even Rosalie broke formation to glance at me.
Victoria smirked at me and set my face on fire.

"What was that, Miss Swan?"

I swallowed a humungous lump in my throat and tried again.

"Yes, ma'am," I said.

Alice smiled at me discreetly. Victoria smiled too.

"That's better," she said. "And you needn't worry about being disciplined,
Alice has informed me of your inexperience. Tonight will be an informal affair.
I'm sure that will be agreeable to you, will it not?"

I looked at Alice and Alice nodded.

"Yes, ma'am," I said.

Victoria smirked, and then she lifted a hand and traced my jawline with a
finger tip. "Good girl," she said. Then she dropped her hand and turned away.
"Well, why don't we begin with a show to get us all in the mood?" she
suggested. "Alice, Rosalie, if you'd care to oblige us? I'd like to have a chat
with Miss Swan before we begin. There are some outstanding issues between us
that ought to be resolved."

Alice gave me a quick glance, but she and Rosalie both said:

"Yes, ma'am."

And then they clasped hands and climbed onto the bed.

A chair had been set up for just this purpose, and Victoria sat on it, folding
her long leather-clad legs one over the other. She beckoned me forward with a
finger and I went over. She guided me on to her lap and I sat there nervously
with my whole body throbbing from some strange kind of arousal, something I'd
never felt before. I was wearing a thong, and I could feel the cool leather of
her boots under by butt.

Alice and Rosalie were kneeling on the bed and they had began kissing. They
obviously had practice at letting their mistress watch, because their movements
were calculated to be pleasing to an observer rather than each other. Their
kiss was slow and deliberate and they made sure their tongue work was visible,
and their hands were light and feathery across their bodies.

Victoria's arms were around my waist, holding me in place on her lap, and for a
few moments we watched our two lovers on the bed until finally Victoria spoke.

"They make an exquisite couple," she said. "Don't they?"

I nodded and said breathlessly: "Yes."

"Rosalie has always longed for Alice," she said. "I'm happy for her."

I glanced at her. She said it naturally, but I got the impression she was
slightly jealous of this as well. Not only has it become clear that she's no
longer number one in Alice's heart, it seems that she might not be number one
in Rosalie's either.

"So," she said, after another moment of silence. "I hear you and Alice have
been very liberal in your relationship lately. Am I to assume that this was
your idea? I find it hard to believe that Alice would be so quick to share
herself after all the ordeals she's put us through this last year."

I didn't like her sarcastic tone, but I took the opportunity to explain. "Alice
and I haven't fully defined our relationship yet," I said. "This might only be
temporary. Besides…I just want her to be happy."

Victoria snorted, looking past me at the bed. "Is that so? As I remember it,
you wanted to stay with your girlfriend in Forks. Marvelous how quickly girls
change their minds, isn't it? Alice is the same way, obviously. Even Rosalie
has her foibles. I've never known a woman's heart more constant than my own."

There was more of that bitterness in her voice, and I didn't reply. She was
still looking past me at the bed and I turned to look as well. Rosalie was
laying on her back and she had her legs up and open in a large V. Alice was
placing small kisses on one of her ankles while stroking Rosalie's stocking
covered leg with her hand.

"Alice has no idea I threatened you to return," Victoria said. "Does she?"

"There's a lot Alice doesn't know about what you've done," I whispered.

Victoria chuckled once. "That I raped you? That you liked it? You could poison
her against me forever if you told her the truth. But perhaps you'd poison her
against yourself as well. The deceit benefits us both, it seems."

I turned to her. Despite the heat that was radiating out of my body, my face
was cold. "Not exactly," I said. "Alice would forgive me. But she wouldn't
forgive you."

"Perhaps," she said, and then she smirked and caressed my waist. "And you, Miss
Swan? Do you forgive me?"

I swallowed at the sultry look in her eyes. Her hiked up breasts were just
sitting there above her leather bodice and I noticed her nipples were swollen.
"I don't know," I said. "Alice would be dead if it wasn't for you. And if it
wasn't for you I never would've seen her again. So…"

Victoria smiled and turned her eyes back to the bed. "Well, you needn't bother
thanking me," she said. "I'll exact my gratitude from Alice."

Neither Alice nor Rosalie had taken off any of their clothes, but they were
getting increasingly aroused. Alice was on all fours and Rosalie was behind
her, rubbing her pelvis into Alice's behind as she stroked her hands along
Alice's sides, just teasing themselves.

The sight made me so horny I had to shift on Victoria's lap. The leather of her
boots under my ass was driving me crazy and I was getting very moist. Alice
smiled at me as she pushed her butt back into Rosalie, and I felt an
unexpectedly warm wave of love roll over me. I smiled back, and then I
swallowed and turned my flushed face to Victoria's.

"Listen," I said. "I'm cool with the group stuff, but you guys need to face the
fact that Alice doesn't love you anymore. She belongs to me. I don't want her
to outright abandon you guys, but if you ever interfere in our relationship
again…if you hurt Alice or make her cry…I'll take her and leave. None of you
will ever her see again. Do you understand?"

I knew it was risky to lay down something like that with the redhead in such a
strange mood, but her bitterness seemed to have passed. She raised an eyebrow
at my attempt at assertiveness and smiled as if she thought it was cute.

"Rest assured, Miss Swan," she said. "My interest in you and your soulmate had
been waning rapidly after these last few episodes together, and I begin to
believe she's hardly worth the effort."

A strange feeling settled over me. "So if we didn't go out with you tonight,
you would've just left us alone?"

"Certainly," she said.

I looked into her eyes as they stared at Alice on the bed, and I didn't believe
her. She was never going to relinquish her claim on Alice, and she wasn't
prepared to let her go at all. She was only beginning to realize that Alice
belonged to me, that Alice will never again belong to her, that Alice will
never be bent to her will. Victoria had been fighting a losing battle, and now
she was pretending to lose interest; that way she wouldn't be the one rejected.

But I knew, deep in her dark heart, that she would never, ever, get over a girl
like Alice. No matter how much she pretended.

Still, I felt just a little bit of pity, and I didn't want to upset the
pretense. If she wanted to believe that she didn't care about Alice anymore,
then fine; I'd like to believe that too. So I smiled and let my hand snake
around her neck, leaning into her almost like a cuddle.

"Thanks," I said. "I know a lot of bad stuff has happened between me and you,
but we don't have to hate each other, do we? I mean, in the end we both just
wanna make Alice happy. We can be friends, right?"

My odd display of intimacy took her slightly off-guard, but only slightly. Her
hand was caressing under my breast and then she popped it out of its bracup and
looked at it idly.

"Perhaps we can," she said, toying with my nipple gently. "Is that what you
want?"

I shivered. "Yes," I whispered. "I just want Alice to be happy."

"And you're ready to submit?"

"If that's what it takes."

"And you're ready to obey?"

"Yes," I whispered. I shivered again as her hand enveloped my breast. I stared
down at her own tits, my lips dry with hunger, and I felt an unexpected surge
of affection for the woman. "I don't want to hate you, Vicky. Can I call you
Vicky?"

"Ma'am," she said with a smirk. "You will call me ma'am."

"Yes, ma'am."

I was getting caught up in the moment, and I had cupped one of her heavy
breasts in my hand, and now I leaned down and kissed it. Victoria stroked my
hair.

"Good girl," she said. "And you're ready to share Alice?"

This was enough to pierce the fog slightly, but even as my eyes snapped open, I
didn't halt my attentions to her breast. I took her nipple into my mouth and
started sucking on it. I didn't answer the question, but the answer was no. I
was not willing to share Alice.

This was only temporary.

—

It was a long, long night.

Soon I was instructed to join Alice and Rosalie on the bed while Victoria
continued watching. Alice received me with a smile and together with Rosalie
they guided me through an elaborate sex show that could've only been hotter if
I was still watching. To begin with we worked mostly in silence aside from
moans and breathing. Rosalie kissed me on the lips, making my face melt, and
Alice brushed hair away from my neck and placed kisses on deliberate spots.
Then she took me away from Rosalie and kissed my mouth passionately while
Rosalie massaged her breasts from behind. I added my own hands to Rosalie's,
and soon Alice was frustrated enough to request permission to remove her bra.
Victoria nodded her assent, sitting there with her legs folded and breasts
swelling from her red leather bodice. Alice unlatched it and pulled it off, and
Rosalie and I leaned each to one of her swollen nipples and began to suckle at
her.

We became more adventurous. Rosalie laid me down and climbed on top, tonguing
me while Alice kissed at my panties from between my legs. Judging from
Rosalie's occasional moan into my mouth I assumed that Alice had a few kisses
for her own pussy as well. Victoria admonished Alice against making us climax
too early, and Alice got off the bed and approached her former mistress.
Rosalie and I paused in each other's arms to watch her. Alice selected three
vibrators from the coffeetable and then she took Victoria's hand. She led the
redhead to the bed and the redhead actually stepped up onto the bed in her
boots.

Alice explained with a giggle what we were going to do, and then she handed
Rosalie and I a vibrator each. Victoria stood over us in the bed and watched as
we peeled aside our panties and inserted the vibrators inside ourselves, and
then Rosalie stood and began kissing her mistress while Alice unzipped the
leather that covered her crotch with her teeth and began licking her pussy.
That left her ass for me, and I was always an ass-girl. Nothing covered it but
a strap of leather between her full round cheeks, and I kissed and licked all
around it, clenching down on the vibrator between my legs. I came well before
anyone else, and I came with my hot face pressed against the redhead's ass, and
even after I came I went back to kissing and licking it.

After that things became less formal. Victoria was a gentle mistress, and in
deference to my inexperience she suggested that perhaps they ought to train me
up a little, and that's how I ended up getting spanked for the first time in my
life. Alice offered to do it herself, and while I had absolutely no idea where
the appeal was exactly, I did as I was instructed. I bent over and presented my
ass to Alice who then proceeded to apply a succession of swift spanks at
Victoria's command. Alice counted out loud to ten, and I had to admit it
actually really hurt. But it was sweet how Alice patted and kissed it better,
so I didn't complain.

Sufficiently disciplined, I was then subjected to a highly coordinated triple-
team which involved my hands tied to the headboard and my ankles tied to the
bedposts with silk scarfs. Completely prone, completely helpless. I was gagged
for a good portion of it, but Victoria was gracious enough to removed the gag
and place her pussy over my mouth instead. So I ate her out while Alice and
Rosalie grinded their vaginas against my legs.

The festivities continued with more bondage. Me, Alice, and Rosalie soon found
ourselves on our hands and knees, all three of us collared and chained to the
headboard while Victoria fucked us methodically from behind with a strap-on,
making our hips squirm as she instructed us to beg for more. Which we did,
quite eagerly.

After that we became more experimental. Victoria noticed that Rosalie and I
made a cute couple, so she handcuffed Rosalie's hands behind her back and
ordered me to abuse her however I wished while she watched with Alice going
down on her. It was a very generous offer, but I wasn't that kind of girl and
my idea of abuse was a series of very tender kisses all over the blonde's
goddess-like body until my lips reached her pussy. In any case, it was enough
to please Victoria who grabbed Rosalie by the hair as she approached orgasm and
pulled her handcuffed body into her own as so that she could climax with her
tongue in her favorite slave's mouth.

All in all, it was a special night, full of unique and adventurous experiences.
My ass would probably be sore for a couple days, but I suppose it was nice to
finally experience a proper spanking. I felt slightly traumatized by how
awesome whole thing was—as if the last few scraps of my innocence were finally
and officially discarded—but it was nice we were all friends, and compared to
my worst fears it really wasn't so bad.

Toward dawn we were beginning to wind down and surprisingly it was the redhead
who lost interest first. She had shed her boots and her corset and she was now
completely naked. We all were, the discarded shoes and underwear laying on the
floor. Victoria rose from the bed and sighed and stretched, displaying her
marvelous body, and then she smirked at us where the three of us lay in a naked
heap and instructed us to continue if we wish. Then she crossed the room to the
vanity table at the far end and began to remove her makeup.

Alice was unlocking Rosalie's handcuffs, and then she tossed them to the floor
among the discarded underwear. She whispered something to Rosalie, Rosalie
whispered something back, and then Alice crawled over to me, smiled, and placed
a long kiss on my lips.

"Hey, baby," she said.

I smiled back. "Hey."

I was sleepy and getting ready to cuddle, but Alice had other plans. "Listen,"
she said, "do you mind if I cuddle Rose for a bit? It's just, it's been so long
since we've been close like this."

I concealed my disappointment and smiled. "You don't need to ask, Alice."

"Yes, I do," she said seriously. "You're the boss of this relationship now. You
have to make sure I don't do anything stupid. I won't do anything you don't
want me to, baby."

The declaration made me feel better, although I really didn't like to think of
myself as any kind of boss. Rosalie was watching us, rubbing her wrists, and I
smiled at Alice. "Alice, all I want is for you to be happy," I said. "It's okay
if you get a little happiness from others. I know you love her. It's a special
kind of thing. I understand."

Alice smiled and gave me another big kiss. "Thank you," she said.

And then she crawled back to the woman who had been her wife in another life.
She settled on top of Rosalie and pulled the covers over their naked bodies.
They were both smiling and I watched them whispering together for a second.
Then I turned and swung my legs over the side of the bed.

Victoria was watching me in the mirror of the vanity table, but she looked away
as our eyes met. She was brushing her hair, and I let my eyes roam her naked
back. She had such perfect shape, the way her body narrowed into her waist. I
stared at her for a second, feeling something in chest that might've been
affection. I was exhausted, and Alice was cuddling another woman, and I didn't
want to sit here by myself. So I got up, went over, and wrapped my arms around
Victoria from behind.

"Did I give you permission to touch me?" she said.

I placed my chin on top of her head and smirked at her in the mirror. "No," I
said. "But the slave stuff's over. I'm just Bella now. And you're just Vicky."

She raised an eyebrow at my boldness and then she snorted. "Yes, well," she
said. "Perhaps I've always been a little too lenient. Alice was unruly even
before she ever met you."

"I like unruly Alice."

"Don't we all," she said. "Now, enough chatter. If you insist on disturbing me,
you should at least make yourself useful. Take this hairbrush and brush my
hair. Long strokes, and don't pull."

I smiled. "Yes, ma'am," I said.

She handed me the brush and started unscrewing a tub of skincream. Her hair was
very thick and heavy, and it was actually kind of fun to brush it. It made me
feel quaintly like a real slavegirl. She had laved a few slabs of the cream
onto her breasts and I watched as she began to massage it into her perfect,
soft, pearl-like skin. I was pretty sure that vampires didn't need that
cosmetic stuff, but maybe the cream just felt nice. It looked like it felt
nice.

A moan came from behind us and in the corner of the mirror I saw what Alice and
Rosalie were doing on the bed. Alice had Rosalie's wrists pinned and she was
kissing her very passionately. Victoria followed my gaze to the same place in
the mirror. I continued brushing her hair, and she continued massaging her
breasts, and together we watched in the mirror as Alice and Rosalie began
making love.

—

It was breaking dawn when Alice and I returned to our room. We'd crept through
the quiet house naked with our dresses held to our chests, and we went out onto
the balcony to watch the sunrise together. Alice asked me if I thought it was
pretty, and I said it was, but I was looking at her. Finally she turned to me
and smiled. Orange light bathed her face and body, and then I wrapped her into
my arms and guided her mouth to my neck.

—

***** Chapter 35 *****
—

Chapter 35:

—

It didn't take long for things to settle into a comfortable routine, and soon
Alice and I found ourselves in the most stable period of our relationship since
those first blissful weeks together. It wasn't perfect—and sometimes Victoria
was a little stiff with the whip—but it was very close.

Alice and I went out almost everyday, and I was really beginning to fall in
love with the city. I'd learnt some rudimentary French, just enough to be able
to embarrass myself to café waiters, and everywhere we went I'd gaze around
with a smile at the stone buildings, the old architecture, the landmarks. None
of it had made an impression on me before, but it was starting to grow on me.

There was one café in particular that me and Alice liked, a place where we'd
sit outdoors in the sun and sip coffee, watching the pigeons coast in over the
Seine. We went almost everyday, sometimes with Victoria and Rosalie, but mostly
just by ourselves. The tip of the Eiffel Tower could be seen just beyond the
skyline and I smiled at it as I sipped my foamy latte. I'd never liked coffee,
but that seemed to be growing on me too.

"You really like Paris, don't you?" Alice asked.

I nodded, smiling like an idiot.

"Me too," Alice giggled. "Hey, you know what we should do? We should live here
for a few years. Just us, just me and you. I'm a fully qualified designer, so I
could get a job somewhere, and we could get an apartment together. You'd have
to finish school, of course."

The idea of living alone with Alice, just the two of us like an ordinary
couple—in Paris—sparked a surprisingly warm glow in my chest. I'd never thought
of it before, but now, hearing it from Alice, made it seem like the best idea
in the world.

"That would be awesome," I said, but then I sagged. "But I don't speak French."

Alice was undaunted. "I'll teach you," she said enthusiastically. "It's really
easy, you'll learn in no time. Besides, you'll be a vampire by then and you'll
need to make a special friend or two. We'll find you a nice catholic school.
Those uniforms are so cute, with those cute little berets. You'll look
adorable."

My smile wilted somewhat. "Special friend?"

Alice gave a reluctant shrug. "Well, you'll have to feed," she said. "No one's
saying you have to have sex with them, but nobody likes to put their lips on a
complete stranger. At least, I never did. I always liked to be at least
friends. I could never tell them I was a vampire, but I liked to believe they'd
let me if they knew. So I only fed from nice people who liked me."

"How do you feed from someone without them knowing?" I asked. "No one's ever
told me."

I thought she might try to dodge the question like she had in the past, but she
gave a guilty shrug. "Rohypnol, mostly," she said. "It's not very ethical—or
even legal—but we can't exactly go around telling people were vampires, you
know?"

I smiled awkwardly, and I thought that was a perfect example of Alice's logic.
She only feeds from people who trust her, while the feeding itself betrays that
trust. I didn't know much about Rohypnol, but I knew it had something to do
with date-rape. I didn't know if I'd be comfortable drugging girls and
molesting them when they were passed out, but I didn't really want to talk
about feeding habits right now. We'd deal with that when the times came, and I
could always feed from Alice, anyway. I wanted to talk more about the two of us
living together, so I glossed over the first part.

"What about the others?" I asked. "Would Jane and all them be cool with us
living alone?"

She nodded. "I think they will," she said. "Besides, it won't be forever, and
they could stick around town if they want." Alice smiled and reached across the
table to clasp my hand. "I just think it would be nice if we lived together,
just me and you. At least for a little while. Don't you?"

She asked the question with a cocked head, as if she thought she might have to
convince me with cuteness. But I was thrilled at the idea, and I grinned
widely.

"Sure," I gushed. "I'd love that. That would be awesome."

She giggled and gave a big nod. "Cool," she said. "We'll do it, then."

"When?"

I was already excited. It was cool living in a huge mansion with a bunch of
vampiric fuck-buddies, but living in a cozy little apartment, alone with Alice,
just us, seemed like a dream come true. Alice seemed to agree, and she went on
with an excited smile.

"We can move out whenever you want," she said. "In fact, we can go look at a
few places tonight, or even just browse on the internet." A guilty smile
crossed her face. "To be honest, I already looked around a little. There's some
beautiful places in Marais, wonderful architecture in that district – and great
gay community, too, all kinds of clubs and bars. What do you think?"

I was nodding before she even finished. "Okay," I said, then a giggle slipped
out. "Oh my god, this is going to be so awesome."

Alice giggled as well and sipped her cappuccino. She set the cup down and
smiled. "All we have to do is decide when to turn you," she said. "I think it
would be better if you were a vampire. That way we can really settle down."

Again I was nodding like a retard, almost amazed at what I was hearing. Alice
had changed so much these last couple months. When I first came back to her,
she was so clingy and desperate, wanting nothing but sex, sex, sex, and
constant reassurances of how much I loved her. But now she was almost like that
same girl I met back in biology two years ago, that girl who was pretty and
perfect and not really insane at all. Reuniting her with her family had been a
great short-term strategy – it had eliminated the jealousy and drama and
stabilized our relationship.

And now we were planning a real future together.

It was so wonderful I almost felt like crying.

But instead I grinned like an idiot and kept nodding. "I'm ready whenever you
are, Alice," I said. "I've been ready a long time, trust me."

I added a hint of flirtyness and she replied with a smirk.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

She giggled, but we were in public, and she seemed to be in serious mode.
"Well, I still think it should be up to you," she said. "I think you should at
least name the day. After all, it's a pretty big commitment. When you turn, you
won't be human any more. You won't feel things the way humans do. My venom will
live inside you forever. You'll be addicted to me for all eternity and you'll
never feel complete without me again. Even if you stop loving me."

She said this all very seriously, even woefully, as if she was sorry she had to
inflict such a terrible fate on me. It made me smile. It reminded me of back
when we first met, how she had been so anxious about feeding, how she had been
so hesitant to put me in any kind of danger. It had never stopped me back then,
and it certainly wasn't going to stop me now.

Because I loved Alice. I was looking at her now in the Paris sunlight, sitting
at this latticed iron table in this quaint outdoor café, and I knew that I
wanted my life to be comprised of nothing but scenes just like this. Me and
Alice, together forever. I wasn't worried about falling out of love with her,
because I knew that would never happen. So I smiled and with all sincerity I
said:

"Sound's cool to me."

She giggled once, but her smile was slightly remonstrating. "Be serious, baby."

"I am serious, Alice," I insisted. "I know it's a big commitment, but I am
ready. I was always ready."

She looked at me for a moment. Then she smiled. "Okay," she said. "Then all you
have to do is decide when."

"Um. Tonight?"

She had lifted her cup, but now she put it down, playfully exasperated. "Baby,"
she said. "Come on, this is important. I mean, it's like a…" She struggled for
a word. "…like a wedding." The word wedding made her self-conscious, and she
went on quickly. "I mean, don't you think we should make it special?"

I smiled; more typical Alice. Such a little hypocrite. First she's all worried
about destroying my humanity and now she wants to make the destruction special.
It must be really difficult living with a mind like hers.

Fortunately I felt the same way. It was a little dark perhaps to equate demonic
corruption with something like a wedding, but I could understand where she was
coming from. But I'd never been the kind of girl who likes to make a big deal
of her feelings, so I figured I'd leave the details to her. Specialness had
always been Alice's territory.

"Sure," I said. "We can do it however you want."

I thought that would've made her happy, but she only nodded reluctantly.
"That's sweet, baby," she said, "but it's not about me. It's about you."

"Well, can't it be about both of us?" I suggested. "I just want it to be
special for you, Alice. I know how important this stuff is to you. I'll be
happy as long as you're happy."

She looked at me and sighed. Then she smiled. "You don't understand what I'm
trying to hint at, do you?"

I chuckled once. "Um," I said. "You're hinting at something?"

She sighed again. She seemed to think about something for a moment, and then
leaned forward on the table and spoke softly. "You're right, baby," she said.
"This is very important to me. But do you know what would make it most
special?"

"What?"

"If you made it special for me."

A little lightbulb went off in my head. "Oh," I said, as if all was finally
revealed. Then I frowned. "Uh, how though?"

She giggled, shrugged, and took up her cappuccino. "Well, that's up to you,"
she said. "It would be cheating if I told you exactly what I want, so you'll
have to figure it out yourself. Besides, I wasn't kidding when I said it was
mostly about you, baby. I'd love to do something special, but we don't have to
make a big deal about it if you don't want. I just thought maybe you'd want
to."

"I do," I hurried to assure her, and realized I really did. In fact, my heart
was leaping at the opportunity to show her how much I loved her. Letting her
turn me was only part of it; I also had to show her how eager for it I was, how
eager I was to let her venom into my heart and let it live there forever. So I
smiled and said wholeheartedly: "I'd love to make it special for you, Alice."

Alice's face lit up with a pretty blush. She smiled coyly and sipped her
cappuccino to hide the smile. "Good," she said. "I know you'll make it perfect
for me."

—

Two days passed and I was beginning to realize that I had absolutely no idea
how to make it special for her. Special stuff had always been Alice's domain,
and I didn't seem to have a flair for it. So far my only idea was to get a
hotel room like we did on our first real date. But we'd done that twice
already, and while it was special the first time, it seemed kind of pedestrian
at this point in our relationship. Marathon sex and frenzy feeding were almost
nightly these days.

Thankfully, Alice didn't pressure me, at least not out loud. But sometimes I'd
catch her looking at me a certain way. A longing look, with her large eyes
filled with anticipation and hope, as if she was expecting me to propose any
second. I wish it was that simple. Marriage would be easier than this turning
stuff. At least a wedding came with it's own prepackaged specialness.

I just wish I had some idea of what Alice expected. Back in Forks she'd
suggested to turn me on prom night, but that wasn't an option now. Even if I
enrolled in a French school tomorrow, there wouldn't be another prom for a
whole year. That is, if they even had a prom over here. Maybe they just had a
dance. Either way, it wasn't romantic enough anymore. It had been quaint when I
was still a student, but I was basically graduated by now. I was still a
teenager, technically, but I'd outgrown school and I'm sure Alice would want
something a little more mature. But no matter how much I thought about it, I
really couldn't come up with anything. Prom would've been a perfect occasion to
tie up our relationship, a perfect highschool cliché. But then I remembered
that Alice didn't actually want to turn me at prom.

She wanted to kill me.

Turning had been the plan, but death was the dream. And I still had no idea if
she still felt that way. We hadn't talked about it since that day at the museum
when she had denied it quite vehemently, but I suspected that part of her maybe
did. The more our relationship stabilized, the more she regressed into her old
patterns. Her love making had become a little more aggressive lately. Her grip
seemed to be firmer and her tongue more rough, and I was beginning to feel the
restraint in her bites. Whenever she fed I could feel the surge of excitement
ripple through her body as my skin burst under her fangs and gushed blood into
her mouth. I could hear it in her labored moans as she sucked at the wound, and
as I held her and whispered encouragement I could tell that what she really
longed to do was sink her fangs in just a little deeper, a little deeper, as
deep as she possibly could until finally she consumed me completely.

Funny thing is, I kind of liked the feeling. That feeling of desirability. I
couldn't be sure if she still secretly lusted for my life, but even if she did,
it didn't disturb me anymore. I meant all that stuff I'd told her at the museum
that day. If she still felt that way, I was prepared to talk about it. At this
point I was even prepared to consider it. I'd freaked out at prom because it
was bad timing and she had taken me by surprise, but I'd been thinking about it
at odd times lately, and I was starting to see the whole thing in a different
light. Sometimes I'd lay awake at night, curled against Alice's body, my neck
throbbing from where she'd bitten me, sleepy with blood loss, and I'd find
myself thinking that it actually seemed like a pretty cool idea. In theory, at
least. From a certain perspective it seemed romantic, even idealistic. A
special moment between vampire and victim. What greater expression of love
could there be than to surrender your life itself? To offer everything you are,
everything you ever were, everything you ever will be, to give yourself
completely to another person? It would suck to die, of course, but still;
pretty cool.

In any case, none of that helped me figure out how to create some special
moment from my turning. I wished I could talk about it with Alice, but she was
obviously expecting a surprise, and even worse, she seemed to have faith in me.
She seemed to think I knew what I was doing. But relationship assertiveness had
never been my strong suit, and now, two days after our conversation at the
café, I was still totally clueless.

Of course, I'm also a total idiot—in more ways than one—and on the morning of
the third day, I found myself wishing I could talk to Leah about it, see what
she thinks. Finally it dawned on me that there was actually no reason why I
couldn't go see Leah. I mean, that's what sisters are for, right? Leah herself
had said she cares about me and knows how to keep a secret. If anyone could
pound a clue into my head, it was Leah.

The only problem was unclinging myself from Alice for a few hours. Alice liked
to spend as many seconds of each day as possible in my company, and I wasn't
much better. To be honest, even bathroom breaks were a strain on my neediness.
But I was determined to make the next step of our relationship as special as
possible, and in order to do that, I needed advice. So I told Alice the truth,
that I needed to speak to Leah alone about turning and stuff. Alice was
understanding, even excited that I seemed to be making progress, and after
kissing me a dozen times to satisfy herself a hour or two, she went off to find
Victoria and Rosalie. Victoria was still a little crabby lately, and I
suspected that Alice kind of liked this new sullen side in her former mistress.
She was a bit of a tease, my Alice.

I found Leah in the gym. She was wearing a black spandex leotard, and she was
pumping iron on one of the weight benches, her biceps flexing attractively with
sweat shining on her copper-colored skin. Vampires enjoyed a strange biology,
and I'd learnt that while they didn't gain or lose body fat, it was possible
for them to gain and lose muscle mass. Leah liked to keep toned, and it was a
good look on her.

She greeted me without stopping, and I sat on the bench beside her and
proceeded to talk. I wasn't really the kind of girl who liked talking about her
relationship woes, and I was jittery and nervous for being without Alice. But
Leah listened, nodding, smiling, chuckling a couple times. Finally she finished
with her weights and mounted a treadmill. She set the speed for a brisk jog and
started running in place. I took a moment to check out her spandexed-
ass—yum—and then I moved around to the front of the treadmill.

"So what do you think?" I asked anxiously. "I mean, I want it to be perfect for
her, but I just don't know what she expects from me. How did she turn you?"

Leah shook her head, arms swinging as she jogged. "Wasn't just her," she said.
"I was a little different from the others."

"What do you mean?"

"I got turned by everyone at once," Leah explained. "Jane told you how I met
them, right? Well, I had nowhere else to go, so they basically just adopted me.
Like a stray cat. Wasn't really romantic, but I never really cared about stuff
like that. Believe it or not, I was even worse than you or Tanya. Total whore.
I was grateful to them for taking me in, so I just let them do whatever. It was
Jane who decided to turn me, but she didn't do it alone. Me and Jane were
always casual with our relationship."

I nodded thoughtfully. That actually sounded pretty good. No fuss, no drama, no
messy romantic complications. Problem is, I loved Alice and wanted to make her
happy. So getting turned by the whole family at once in a huge orgy of blood
probably wasn't a viable option.

Besides, deep down I guess I wanted it to be special too. I just wish I could
leave it to Alice. Alice had always been far better at arranging special
moments. I still remember when we first hooked up. My idea of a first date had
been pizza and a movie. Her idea of a date involved designer dresses, a hotel
room, and the most intense sex of my young-adult life. Obviously, my girlfriend
was far better suited at being the assertive one.

So I sighed and said: "Well, what do you think I should do? Prom was a good
idea, but there's no prom anymore, and I don't think either of us want to wait
till I enroll in school again. I thought maybe we could do it on her birthday
or something, but…"

"But she doesn't even know her birthday."

"Yeah."

"Be pretty lame, anyway."

"Well, what else is there?"

Leah smirked, still jogging. Fringes of her dark hair were clinging to her
forehead and her breasts bounced with each stride. "Come on," she said. "Do I
really have to spell it out?"

I frowned. I'd been wracking my brain over this for two days and she was acting
like the answer was completely obvious and I was an idiot for not figuring it
out. Then again, I'd never claimed to be anything but an idiot, so I muttered:
"It would save time."

She chuckled and brushed hair away from her face. "Listen," she said. "How long
have you known Alice?"

"Almost two years."

"And how many months of those two years have you been dating?"

"I don't know." I paused to think about it. "Eight, I guess."

"So you could say she's your long term girlfriend."

I nodded, wondering where she was going with this. I thought she was going to
spell it out?

Leah kept jogging and spoke like a school teacher trying to help out a
disadvantaged student. "And you really love each other," she prompted.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"And now Alice is looking for commitment."

"Yeah."

Leah gave me a look, but nothing occurred to me. She rolled her eyes and added:
"She wants to take your relationship to the next level. She wants to turn you,
move in with you. She doesn't want to be girlfriend's anymore, she wants to be
something more serious. A partner."

I was still nodding. "Yeah."

Leah waited, still jogging. Nothing occurred to me.

"So what does that tell you?" she prompted.

I frowned; was I supposed to have figured something out? She was just repeating
back everything I'd been saying to her. Alice loves me, I love Alice, ready to
move on. But it's not like she wants to get married, she wants to turn me. I
need some kind of date scenario here. In any case, I had no idea what Leah was
hinting at, so I just shrugged.

"It tells me that she wants to turn me," I said. "That's what I'm trying to
say, that I'm ready. But I can't figure out how to make it special for her."

Leah sighed. "You really don't know much about women, do you?"

"I guess not."

Leah tapped a few buttons on the control panel. The treadmill slowed and slowly
she stopped jogging. She leaned on the rail and looked at me. "Listen," she
said. "Forget about turning for a second. Think about commitment, because
that's what she really wants. And more than that, she wants to dress up the
commitment into some kind of ceremony. So. What is the one way you can show her
how much she means to you?"

I thought about it for a second. Finally I said:

"By letting her turn me?"

Leah exhaled through her nose. I shared her exasperation.

"Can't you just tell me?" I whined.

Leah shook her head, determined not to tell me outright. "Listen," she said.
"Alice is all about her dreams. And what is the one thing all girls dream of?"

"Falling in love? We've done that."

"You're hopeless, aren't you?"

I sighed sullenly. "I must be."

Leah chuckled and grabbed a towel. She wiped her face and sat down on the
weight bench. I sat down beside her and she wrapped an arm around my shoulders
like a big sister.

"Look," she said. "Alice obviously wants you to figure it out yourself, so I'm
not gonna spell it out for you. But remember, Alice has always had a bit of a
human-complex. She likes being a vampire, but she likes to pretend to be human,
too. So if she was a regular human—just an ordinary girl—and you really, really
loved her, and you've been dating her for a long time, and she wants you to
take the relationship to the next level – then she's probably expecting you
to…?"

Leah was waiting for me to fill the blank myself, but nothing was occurring to
me. I tried to think of something, and then I just blurted:

"Oh fuck, I'm useless."

Leah chuckled. "You're not useless," she said, "you're just young and stuck in
a relationship you don't understand. Look, do you want me to just tell you?"

"Yes," I said. "Please."

Leah sighed. She looked at me as if I had just asked her to help me cheat on a
an exam, but then she smiled and said: "Alice wants to get married. She wants
to turn you on your wedding night."

I paused.

Marriage?

Seriously?

It seemed odd somehow. Maybe it was because I was still a kid practically, but
marriage was the last I would've thought of. Well, maybe that wasn't true. I
remember thinking it would be easier to just get married, but I never thought
that was what Alice wanted. But it made sense, really. Alice had even hinted at
it once. Back when we first discussed it at the café, she told me to take it
seriously because it was important – like a wedding. Then there was all her
talk about moving in together, just us.

But seriously?

Marriage?

Leah was waiting for a reaction so I blinked and stuttered.

"O-oh," I said. "How the fuck was I supposed to figure that out?"

Leah smirked. "You would've figured it out eventually," she said, "especially
once she starts talking about wedding dresses and legalized commitment
ceremonies. It's just a good thing you came to me first, because she would've
been a little disappointed if she had to start hinting too strongly. She's old-
fashioned in a lot of ways. She likes it to be a surprise."

I nodded, the idea slowly making more and more sense. "I had no idea, but I
guess it makes sense," I said. "I never thought I'd be the one to propose,
though."

"Haven't you ever dreamed of getting married?"

"Well, yeah," I admitted. "But I never thought I'd actually do it. I thought
weddings were a straight-people thing. Do you really think she wants to get
married?"

"Uh huh."

"But what's the point? I mean, there's no friends we can invite, and we're
already soulmates."

"Doesn't matter. Alice just likes the ceremony. The dresses, the flowers, the
music. Besides, you'll have us there."

I was beginning to feel a little daunted. Married? Me? But I nodded absently.
"Yeah, I guess," I said. "But are you sure? I mean, do you really think she
wants to get married?"

I said the word married as if it was something lame and stupid that only nerds
do. Leah chuckled and smiled.

"Trust me, it's what she wants," she said. "Alice loves weddings. She turned
Rosalie on her wedding night, right here in Paris. She turned Carlisle and Esme
on their wedding nights, too. Carlisle was convincing in a tux, so they
actually had a real ceremony. Esme and Rosalie were unofficial, just mock
weddings. Although, I think Carlisle and Esme were just for fun. I don't think
she ever really loved Carlisle or Esme. Not the same way she loved Rose. Or
you."

I nodded, but I had a cold feeling at the mention of Rosalie. I was beginning
to notice first hand how much Alice loved Rosalie, even now. It was
understandable, really. Rosalie was quite possibly the most perfect woman ever
created – especially if she liked you. Tall, blonde, submissive personality.
Hell, even I was practically in love with the bitch and she totally hated me. I
didn't think anyone would ever come between me and Alice, but Rosalie was
definitely the closest thing I had to a rival.

"How many times has she been married?" I asked.

"Plenty," Leah said. "Victoria was her first. Of course, that was three hundred
years ago. Alice actually dressed up as a boy. I never saw it, but Jane says
they looked really cute together. She's married Jane a lot, too, although never
seriously. Sometimes Alice would dress up as a guy, sometimes Jane. Just for
fun, you know. They've been married in pretty much every country in the world."

"What about you?"

Leah shook her head and surprisingly blushed. "Nah," she said. "I married Jane
once, though. Small church in Mexico. Kind of romantic."

I smiled; I could picture it. A dusty church on a hilltop somewhere in the
country, the sun setting in the distance, Jane in a lacy dress, Leah in a
tuxedo, a horse drawn carriage, Alice cheering and throwing flowers.

Leah chuckled and clapped me on the shoulder. "And now it's your turn to tie
the knot," she said. "You were always facing long odds with a lunatic like
Alice, but by now I think it's safe to say you're the One. She's never been
this serious about a girl in her life."

My face warmed. "Thanks."

Leah nodded, and then wrapped her arm around me and pulled me a little closer.
"Listen," she said confidentially. "You're too young and inexperienced to
handle all this yourself, so if I was you, the first thing I'd do is pick a
reliable best man. Someone who can help you out, give you advice, lend you
money for an engagement ring, that kind of stuff."

"What about you?"

Leah patted my back. "Thought you'd never ask," she said, and then she rose to
her feet and slung the towel around her neck. She looked down at me and
smirked. "Alright, I'm gonna take a shower. Wanna come?"

I'd been distracted with thoughts of marriage, but now I looked up. She was
standing there in the spandex leotard, all fit and toned and sexy-looking. I
did feel a flicker of attraction, but having sex with my newly appointed best
man didn't seen like the best way to begin wedding preparations, so I blushed
and shook my head.

"Nah, that's okay."

But the smirking vampire was a seductress of a different type, and she didn't
even need to try. "Come on," she said, with a toss of her head. "You're not
married yet."

I wanted to resist a little more, but she was already walking off among the
exercise machines. I looked at her ass grudgingly, and it occurred to me that
maybe I could use a work out too, so I sighed and hurried to catch up.

—

I drifted through the next few days in a strange daze. Leah and I had made a
date to go ring shopping next week—after she had a chance to discuss things
with Carlisle—and until then there was really nothing I could do but try to
wrap my head around it.

Married.

Me.

Mother of god.

I wish I could've been more excited, but for some reason it was difficult for
me to see myself as a married woman. Probably because I'm not actually a woman
yet. I've been trying to act mature and grown-up for Alice, but would I really
make a convincing Missus Cullen? What exactly is a wife's responsibilities,
anyway? I had no problem putting out, obviously, and I didn't think child
bearing was going to be an issue. But what about when we move in together?
Cooking won't be a problem, since we'll both be vampires, and I like doing it
anyway. Alice will be the one working—at least while I finish school—so I
wouldn't have to worry about rent or bills, either. So what was left?
Housecleaning? I hated cleaning, but that seemed like a petty objection,
really.

I don't know. I had no problem with it, really, but it just seemed a little
odd. I mean, once upon a time it was quite normal to be married at seventeen
years old, but these days? Not so much.

But I guess none of that mattered. I loved Alice, and I was planning to spend
the rest of my life with her, anyway. I'd probably be more comfortable skipping
the whole ceremony aspect of it, but I was certainly willing to go through with
it to make Alice happy. It was difficult to come to terms with it, but in a
strange way I guess it really was the next logical step. Alice wanted something
special, and it didn't get more special than a wedding. It was the most
important day in a young woman's life, according to cliché. Alice had never
been much of a stereotype, but she did like to pretend – and she did love
weddings.

Hard to believe she had been married to every member of her family at some
point in her life, aside from Leah. At first I thought the repetition might
make it seem a little less romantic, but the more I thought about it, the more
I realized how special it would be to Alice, to finally do it for real, to look
across the altar into the eyes of Miss Right and say with complete certainty:
'I do.' Leah herself had said that Alice never loved them as much as she loved
me, and that was true. I was her soulmate. She had dreamed of a girl like me
for six hundred years and after six hundred years she had finally found her.
When she married me, she was getting married forever.

And after I realized that, I started to get a little excited about it. After
all, it wasn't just forever for her, it was forever for me, too. It was
actually pretty awesome when you think about it. Alice and I had already looked
at a few apartments, and soon we were going to be living together. Just us. The
others might pop in from time to time, but mostly it'll be just me and Alice. A
married couple. Not roommates, not girlfriends, not lovers – partners.

The thought actually made me giddy from time to time. Friday afternoon Alice
and I were wandering through an apartment, arm in arm, and I looked into an
empty bedroom and I could almost see exactly where we'd put the bed. Vampire's
didn't sleep, but they did enjoy fucking and cuddling at night, and in a warm
flash I could see our whole life together. The alarm going off in the morning,
me pulling my tongue reluctantly out of Alice's pussy. Showering together,
perhaps a little breakfast. Kissing her goodbye as I headed off for school or
college, returning home and doing homework as I waited eagerly to greet her
when she got home from work. A date that night, perhaps, or maybe we'd stay in
and watch a movie, losing interest halfway through as we started making out.

Alice saw the expression on my face and she smiled as if she felt exactly the
same thing I was feeling. We talked about it briefly, but we both loved the
place, and soon she was making arrangements with the realtor.

That night Alice and I went out with Vicky and Rose. As strange as it seemed, I
had actually began to think of them as 'Vicky' and 'Rose' in my head.
Technically, the redhead was still my mortal nemesis, but it was difficult not
to be on intimate terms with a woman who liked to tie you up and methodically
insert different things into each of your orifices. Victoria still hadn't
completely warmed to Alice, and sometimes I got the impression that Victoria
actually preferred to focus her sexual attention on me. There had always been a
weird chemistry between us—the kind of chemistry that had led me to cheat and
enjoy being raped—and I think I was still something of a novelty to her. My
innocence was long gone, but I was still very inexperienced at certain things,
and she seemed to enjoy doing things to me that had never been done to me
before.

Tonight we were going to the opera. It was called La Boheme. It was set in
France and sung in Italian, and I understood absolutely nothing. Alice had
arranged a private balcony and she whispered me a commentary. Apparently there
was some guy called Rodolfo who had a girlfriend named Mimi, but Rodolfo was
poor and Mimi was sick, and eventually Mimi dies because Rodolfo can't buy her
medicine but she stays with him anyway because they love each other so much. It
was a tragedy, apparently, but much of the sting was taken out by the fact that
I found the music annoyingly loud and I generally had no idea what was going
on.

Rosalie was as bored as I was, and soon we were on our knees in our designer
dresses, eating out our lovely mistresses. The balcony was well concealed, and
Alice and Victoria had shuffled their chairs closer and started making out,
dresses hiked up, legs open. The music was very loud, but I could hear Alice's
moans quite clearly.

"Oh god, I'm coming," she said. I was sucking at her clit and she squirmed
slightly on her chair, her legs wrapped around my head. "Bella. Bella. Oh god,
that's so good. Vicky, are you coming?"

Victoria gave a dignified snort. "Not quite," she said. "We're not all rabid
little whores like yourself, Alice dear."

Alice giggled, but I had the impression that Victoria's verbal abuse had a
little more bitterness than Alice might've assumed. Still, my face was in
Alice's pussy so I couldn't really see either of their expressions. But then
Alice tapped my head and unlocked her legs from my neck.

"Slow down, baby," she panted. "Slow down for a second. Let Vicky catch up."

I licked my lips and surveyed the scene. Victoria was poised with her legs
parted, Rosalie's blonde head bobbing between her thighs as she tongue-fucked
her. Alice lowered the shoulder strap of Victoria's dress, moaning as she
kissed her. There was no bra underneath and Alice took a large handful of
Victoria's breast, squeezing it, and then lowering her mouth to the swollen
nipple. Victoria saw me watching from where I knelt on the floor and smirked.
On the stage I could hear a contralto belting out some dolorous dirge. Keeping
my eyes locked on Victoria's, I kissed Alice's knee and moved kisses along
Alice's thigh.

"Come on, Vicky," Alice said, kissing and sucking at the other woman's nipple.
"Come with me. Let's come together."

Victoria's smirk widened as she held Alice's head at her breast.

"Mmm," she moaned, looking down at me. "I do believe I'm getting closer."

I tried to interpret the smirk. Was it triumph? Was she flaunting the fact that
Alice was sucking her tit? I didn't know, but it gave me a flicker of something
in my chest, and I turned my eyes away and turned my mouth back to Alice's
pussy. Alice moaned immediately.

"Mmm, yes," she said. "That's it. Oh god, keep going, baby. Vicky. Are you
ready?"

I glanced and saw Victoria pull Alice's mouth onto hers.

"Ready enough," she whispered into Alice's mouth.

Alice flicked out her tongue against Victoria, panting. I turned my own tongue
back to Alice's pussy, licking across her clit repeatedly before taking it
between my lips and suckling at it. Alice groaned, squirming on the chair.

"Okay," she gasped. She was getting really close and I could hear it in her
voice, raising in her breath as the opera music in the background rose in a
crescendo of cellos and violins. "Okay, quick," she gasped. "Quick. Rosalie,
keep going. Bella. Bella. Keep going. Oh god, baby, lick me out good. Oh. Oh.
Yes. Oh, oh, ohhh—!"

Her moan was chopped off with the groan of her climax. Her thighs were wrapped
around my head so tight it actually drowned out the music. Finally her legs
loosened, and I heard her giggle as the waves of orgasm rolled away. Victoria
had obviously come too, but quietly. She had been kind of self-conscious around
Alice lately, and she never really went wild. I pulled up Alice's panties and
Alice straightened up her dress.

"Wow," she said, giggling. "Now that's what I call a climax. Who needs opera
when you got oral?"

Victoria pulled up her shoulder strap and tucked her breast away, watching me
rise to my feet. I met her eyes briefly, licking my lips to relish Alice's
taste, and then I sat on Alice's lap.

"So what'd we miss?" I asked.

Alice was already reaching up my dress. "Oh, nothing much," she said. "Just a
bit of singing. You saw the best part, trust me."

I felt Alice's fingers wriggled into my panties and into my pussy. Rosalie had
sat on Victoria's lap, and Victoria also had her hand up Rosalie's dress. I
squirmed slightly as delicious excitement rippled through me at the entrance of
Alice's fingers. Alice giggled.

"Wow, look how wet you are," she said. "You got that wet just from eating me
out?"

I looked into her eyes, nodding. "Mmhm."

Alice giggled again. "Yes you did, didn't you?" she cooed. "Poor baby, so
horny. Baby's just a big fat slut, aren't you baby?"

"I'm not fat," I objected playfully.

Victoria gave us a look at was slightly dark, but kind of awkward too. "Alice,
please," she said. "Must you demean her so gooeily? It's embarrassing."

Alice giggled, still looking into my face, watching my reactions as she pushed
her fingers in deeper under my dress. "Sorry," she said. "Hey, I got an idea.
Baby, do you wanna give Rosalie a little kiss? I bet Rosalie would like that.
Wouldn't you Rose?"

I looked at Rosalie. Her face was flushed and her long legs were parted. She
was facing me and I could see Victoria's hand working between her thighs. My
own pussy was throbbing against Alice's fingers, and I looked into Rosalie's
slanted blue eyes, communicating that I was cool to make out, especially if
that's what Alice wanted. She smirked and turned to Victoria.

"Only if my mistress wills it," she breathed.

It was maybe the fourth time she'd spoken the whole night. She didn't speak
often, but when she did it was always worth hearing. Victoria smiled at me,
considered, and then smirked.

"I think you'd better," she said to Rosalie. "It'll disrupt any further
dialogue between the happy couple, and besides…I hate to see your beautiful
mouth go to waste."

Rosalie smiled and placed a kiss on her mistresses lips. Then she turned to me,
quite obediently, and leaned forward. I leaned forward to meet her, and our
tongues met just as Alice's finger curled up inside me. I moaned into the
blonde's mouth and kissed her deeper, spurned onward by Alice's fingering.
Alice giggled.

"Aww, that's sweet," she said. "It's so nice to see you two getting along for a
change."

The opera was almost over by the time we were done. Rosalie and I climaxed
during the climax, with cymbals clashing in the background and the beginnings
of applause from he audience. All in all, it was a pretty good show. The opera,
I mean, not us. Our show was private. Rosalie and I rose from our lover's laps
and let our dresses fall down over our legs, smoothing the fabric over our
hips, exchanging little smiles. Alice and Victoria rose beside us and the four
of us began applauding politely while the cast assembled on the stage, held
hands, and bowed.

After the opera we all went strolling in a nearby park. We chatted for a bit,
with Alice summarizing the show for me and explaining what I'd missed. She said
we had to go see it again some time so I could see it properly. I agreed with
her, because really, I do have respect for art and culture. It's just difficult
to remain focused when you're sitting there in a private balcony with your
girlfriend whispering in your ear how much she'd love it if you went down on
her.

Eventually we ended up taking refreshments at that same café on the banks of
the Seine that Alice and I had began to frequent. They ordered in French and
Alice ordered me a Fernet Branca, assuring me that I'd love it. It came in a
tiny glass, and it was sweet and full of alcohol, so yes, I did enjoy it.

Victoria had a plain espresso and she sipped it with perfunctory daintiness,
her eyes swinging from time to time in Alice's direction as she gabbed on
happily about all the operas they'd all seen together and all the operas she
was going to see with me. The redhead wore a Versace fox-skin jacket, and more
than once during the evening I caught myself wondering if she was legitimately
the sexiest woman in the world. I had no idea if it was real fur, but even if
it was, I'm sure the animal would be proud to be wrapped around such shapely
shoulders.

Alice soon became restless and after a while she expressed a desire to take a
stroll along the river. But we'd already been strolling, and my feet were kind
of sore. Vampire venom worked great on my libido, but not so much on my feet.
Alice was disappointed and suggested that we might as well go home, but Rosalie
piped up and said she'd love to take a stroll as well. It was two against one,
and Alice and I turned to Victoria for the deciding vote. Victoria sipped her
coffee and glanced at each of us languidly, taking her time to decide whether
or not she'd like to go for a stroll. She looked at me, she looked at Alice.
Finally she allowed that she was quite comfortable where she was, but perhaps
Alice and Rosalie might like to go by themselves. Alice turned to me for
permission—which I'm sure Rosalie didn't appreciate—and I nodded easily.
Victoria was watching me with her fox-eyes and fox-skin coat, and I was
strangely flattered that she would prefer to sit at a table with me rather than
stroll the river with her beautiful slaves.

Alice and Rosalie stood up and hooked arms. Victoria and I watched them sail
away, Alice already babbling, Rosalie smiling, and then I turned back to
Victoria. She sipped her espresso with little expression on her face. I smiled
and made a small gesture with my head toward Alice and Rosalie.

"They really do have a bond, don't they?" I asked.

Victoria glanced at where they were making their way along the riverwalk, arm
in arm among other couples, easily the most beautiful. Rosalie, tall and
blonde, Alice, small and dark. She sighed and turned back to me. "I suppose,"
she said. "They make a pretty pair, at least. Perhaps now you can understand
why Rosalie was so irate at your interference."

Actually, I did understand. I'd always felt a little guilty for coming between
them, especially back when we first started dating. Rosalie's jealousy had been
so venomous that it was impossible not to feel how badly she missed Alice. That
was part of the reason why I was cool with this sharing stuff. Alice had been
polygamous for six hundred years; it wasn't right for her to just abandon all
her old lovers. Eventually it would be ideal to be with Alice and only Alice,
but that would have to wait until her family came to terms with it. So I nodded
and turned back to Victoria as Rosalie and Alice disappeared into the crowd.

"I guess so," I said. "But it still wasn't my fault. I never stole Alice from
you guys. And you can't blame me for wanting to keep her."

Victoria smirked at me. "Perhaps not," she said. "But there's also the question
of ownership. My claim on Alice predates yours by almost four hundred years. So
surely I cannot be blamed for any of my actions in the matter either.
Especially considering the abusive and possessive precedent set by Alice
herself in our relationship. There was a time when her favorite sex toy was a
knife."

I remembered Alice's stories about the things Victoria used to do to her, but I
knew now that was all bullshit. Alice had said that it was Victoria who turned
her and liked to hurt her; but in reality it was Alice who liked to do that
stuff. Alice had a pronounced submissive streak, but only when it suited her.
Deep down, she had no mistress but herself.

"Alice said it was you who likes that shit," I said quietly.

Victoria snorted, staring down at the black liquid in her cup on the table.
"Alice is a liar," she said. "You should know that by now. Back when Alice and
I met, I was merely a scared little human. She taught me everything I know."

"Maybe," I said. "But she's changed now. She's not the same as she used to be.
And you don't own her anymore, either. Alice belongs to no one but herself."

Victoria gave a small shrug, as if she wasn't quite sure and didn't quite care.
"Perhaps," she said, "but look at it my way. Alice gave herself to me, and me
first. What's been given freely cannot be taken back. What right has she to
rescind her gifts so heartlessly? And what right have you to take her from me?"

"She's allowed to change her mind."

Victoria was still staring down into her espresso. "Yes," she said. "But I do
not."

I looked at her. My throat was going tight and I didn't like where the
conversation was going. It was too similar to back in Forks, when she used to
say that Alice belonged to her and she was going to have Alice back. Only back
then she had spoke in a tone of triumph, with complete self-assurance that her
conquest of Alice was merely inevitable. But now she was sullen and cold, as if
it had finally dawned on her that she was failing and perhaps different tactics
were in order. Either way, I didn't like it, so I glared at her across the
table, and said:

"So what are you saying?"

A smirk curved her lips at my tone, but then the smirked curved into a full
smile as she chuckle jovially. "Oh, nothing," she said. "Sometimes I get
carried away on the principle. Honestly, I truly don't care for her anymore.
She has…" She paused, searching for a word. "…disappointed me," she said. "Far
too often."

I didn't reply for a second. I didn't think she had any right to blame her
failed relationship on Alice—after all, it was a very twisted relationship—but
I didn't want to fight. In many ways, I thought the redhead was more dangerous
now than she ever was. She was nowhere close to getting over Alice, but that's
not what scared me. What scared me was that her love seemed to be transcending
into hate.

I decided to pretend to be sympathetic, hoping that maybe I was wrong and she
really was getting over it. And besides, maybe deep down I did feel just a
little sorry for her. Our connection to Alice had created a strange camaraderie
between us. Besides, I had never been a hateful personality. Lauren had teased
and bullied me every day of my life, and I ended up dating her. Victoria was no
different. She had done me many wrongs, but she was still absurdly sexy and
even now it was hard for me to hate something so sexy.

So I gave a little shrug and said: "I'm sorry."

She smiled at the pity and shook her head. "Well," she said, blushing as if
embarrassed to have let me seen her sullen side. "Perhaps it was inevitable.
Nothing last forever." She sighed and looked up at the nightsky briefly. As if
to check if the stars were still there. She sighed once more and looked at me.
"I only wish I'd known that three centuries ago," she went on. "Before all
this, before I had put a claim on her. Death in her arms at the peak of our
love now seems more desirable than any other future I can contemplate. She has
ruined me, I'm afraid. All I want is her and yet I can hardly stand to even
look at her anymore. I even begin to weary of my precious Rosalie. A horrid
fate, is it not Miss Swan?"

Actually, it did sound pretty terrible. It reminded me of how I felt the first
time Alice had left me. Needing her but hating her at the same time. But I
didn't want to feed her depression. She was dangerous as she was, but if she
realized that she had nothing to lose, what would stop her from doing something
truly unforgivable?

"Well, maybe you're just a little depressed," I said. "I mean, shit happens,
but you know. You'll get over it."

She seemed to know what I was thinking, and she smirked. "I dare say I will,"
she said, and then her smirk widened as she leaned forward on the table with
her elbows, gazing at my face deliberately. "And until then, at least I have
you to toy with, hm? Why moan over Alice when there's fresh meat right here
before me. What do you think, Miss Swan?"

I blushed and didn't answer. She raked her eyes over my cleavage in my black
designer dress and up over my face. She smirked at my awkwardness.

"I think we'd make a fine pair," she said. "We should get together some night,
just the two of us. There are some things I can do to you. Things that may even
sway you away from your precious Alice."

I wasn't sure if I was allowed to be turned on. Flirting with Leah seemed
harmless since I knew Leah was a casual kind of chick who didn't mean any harm,
but Victoria wasn't like that. Victoria was a slutty mastermind with some
unknown agenda. So I just shrugged as if I didn't care, and said: "I doubt it."

She unleaned from the table and lifted her espresso. "We shall see," she said,
and took a sip.

We fell silent for a little bit. I thought about what she had said, and then I
asked:

"Do you really wish you had let Alice kill you?"

The question seemed to take her by surprise, and she chuckled once. "No," she
said. "I did in the past, but now I'm relieved. She's not worth it."

I frowned. "I think she is."

Victoria shrugged noncommittally, looking off toward the river where it ran
blackly in the moonlight. "Then die yourself," she said. "I'm sure she'd love
to oblige you."

I shook my head, my stomach turning uneasily at the suggestion. "That's not
what Alice wants anymore," I said. "She just wants to be together."

"Or perhaps you're afraid."

"I'm not afraid."

"Then perhaps you don't love her as much as you claim."

I didn't reply. My face felt strangely hot at all this talk of death and love,
and I was upset for reasons I didn't really understand. As if the redhead had
touched upon some secret fantasy of mine that I was ashamed of. Victoria turned
her face to me and smirked.

"Alice has had the same dream for centuries," she said. "She doesn't want a
woman worth living for. She wants one worth dying for. If you truly loved
her…you'd make her dream come true."

She said this very deliberately, like a direct challenge. I swallowed a lump in
my throat and glared at her. "You just want me to die," I said, almost hurt.
"You're just jealous."

But she only chuckled and gestured with a hand breezily. "Oh, nothing so
sinister," she said. "I only think it would be amusing, that's all. But come,
let us not fight. However you choose to pursue your relationship is none of my
business. Alice loves you as well as she's able, and I'm sure you'll love her
just the same."

—

That conversation with Victoria left a strange impression on me, and at first I
tried not to think about it, but after a while I could think of nothing else.

If you truly loved her, you'll make her dream come true.

I had no problem with this, in principle. Making my Alice happy was my new
purpose in life. I'd do anything for her, and let her do anything to me.
Whatever she wanted, anything at all.

But did she really want to kill me?

If it had been just a freak idea that occurred to her at prom, I would've
assumed she was over it. But it wasn't a freak idea. It was something she'd
been dreaming about for a long time, and she had said herself that from the
first second she saw me she knew it was what she wanted to do. She wanted to
kill me and then kill herself. And more importantly, she wanted me to let her.

Back at prom I had assumed that mostly it was just an escape. A way to get away
from her family and Victoria and Rosalie, a way to keep me to herself
permanently. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn't
just an escape. Even if Alice and I had been perfectly happy together, she
still would've wanted the same thing. And now me and Alice are perfectly happy.
Does she still dream of death?

I didn't know, but I found myself thinking about it more and more. I'd ready
decided that it was romantic in theory, but in practice? The weird thing was
that I actually thought I could do it. The thought creeped me out a little, but
I didn't balk at it like I balked at it at prom. I mean, it didn't even seem
like such a big deal anymore. If Alice came up to me tomorrow and said: 'Hey,
baby, would it be cool if I kill you tonight?' I really think I'd reply with
something like: 'Sure, let me shower first.'

But that's not what Alice wanted anymore. At least, not what she claimed to
want. I had told the redhead that Alice had changed, that she wasn't the same
person anymore, but was that really true? Alice was a decent little actress,
but all her facades fell apart eventually.

And beyond all this, was creating a life together even practical? With all the
complications of feeding and family, monogamy would never be a true
possibility. And no matter how many times we tell each other that we're
soulmates, that would probably never be completely true either. Alice liked to
claim that I was different from the others, but the only thing that was truly
different was her attitude. She was simply at the end of her road, that's all.
She'd been looking for a soulmate for six hundred years and never found one. So
instead she created one – out of me. I was simply her last chance. After me she
had nothing left.

But would it truly last forever? Alice had been ready to die rather than live
without me, but would she still feel that way in ten, twenty, a hundred years?
Already she was getting cozy with Rosalie when only a month ago she had been so
adamant to never touch anyone but me. Part of that was my fault for encouraging
her, but it did demonstrate that her feelings weren't quite as absolute as
either of us would like to believe.

And my feelings? I didn't know about my feelings. They hardly seemed worth
thinking about. I loved Alice, but beyond that I seemed capable of doing
anything – or anyone. It was true that other women didn't turn me on as much as
they used to, but it would still be somewhat exaggerating to say that my body
preferred Alice and Alice alone. I could be faithful if I wanted to be, sure.
But that wasn't really practical at this point in our relationship.

And death? Was that practical?

Actually, yeah. It was. All things considered, death in each other's arms
really did seem like the only way to ensure something like a happily ever
after. Not only would it be an incredible expression of trust and commitment,
but it would also be the only way to protect ourselves from the myriad
complications we were facing. If we died together, we'd never get sick of each
other. We'd never fall out of love. We'd never have to share our relationship.
We'd never have to do anything but sleep together for the rest of eternity, in
blissful blackness with no more pain, no more sadness. Nothing but peace.

They were awkward thoughts, and I thought about it more and more, trying to
come up with some flaw that made the whole thing seem stupid. But I came up
with nothing. I wish I could talk about it with Alice, but it would be way too
awkward, and she was still far to sensitive on the topic to be honest,
especially if I was unsure myself. So all I did was think. But deep in my heart
the idea was growing and I was beginning to see how it might be the only way.

In any case, I still had to get married. Regardless of the ultimate conclusion
of our relationship, Alice wanted a wedding and Alice was going to have a
wedding. So I made my excuses to Alice one Sunday afternoon, and Leah and I
went ring shopping on Avenue la Motte Piquet, an expensive row of jewelry shops
within walking distance of the Eiffel Tower.

We walked into one of the more promising stores, and I was immediately
intimidated by the air-conditioned opulence I found myself in. Gold rings and
diamond jewelry sparkled everywhere in the glass display cases and two well-
dressed young women behind the glass counter looked up as we came in. Leah
smiled at one of them—the blonde one—and when they asked if we needed any
assistance she replied in French that we were just looking.

We approached one of the display cases and I looked into it awkwardly. Rows of
whitegold or platinum bands with tiny stones glittering behind the glass. Leah
nodded at the case and walked around to the other side.

"Carlisle gave me a blank check, so go crazy," she said. "Whatever you want,
alright?"

I nodded sullenly. "Do I have to get one for myself too?"

Leah grinned. "Nah, it's just an engagement ring. You'll get a promise ring or
a wedding band at the ceremony. Alice will want to pick those herself. With
your input, of course."

I sighed and looked into the case, my stomach dropping. Suddenly it occurred to
me that this whole idea of getting married was stupid. It would be different if
Alice was the one proposing and I was just some kind of trophy slut—that would
be cool—but how could I possibly take the event seriously when I'm supposed to
be the groom and I haven't even graduated from highschool yet and couldn't even
afford a ring? I had about a thousand bucks in a bank in Forks from a parttime
job I had, but that was nothing in this place. There were no price tags, but I
knew enough about jewelry to know that big diamonds were expensive.

Leah was watching me. She wasn't a patient shopper. "So, what do you think?
Remember, size isn't everything. Alice is a petite kind of girl, so maybe
she'll like something dainty."

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I guess," I said. "God, this is so stupid. Alice is
like six hundred years old – how come it's me who has to propose? I'm not even
eighteen yet."

Leah smiled. "It'll make her happy," she said. "That's what matters."

I agreed with that, but I was still awkward as fuck.

"Yeah," I said. "I just wish I was more confident."

"You don't actually think she'll say no, do you?"

"No, but…"

I trailed off, shrugged. Leah was my big sis, but I still couldn't be
completely honest with her. I couldn't mention that I was kind of cranky
because I'd been thinking about death lately and it made me feel weird. I'd
even dreamt about it a couple times. It really was starting to seem like a good
idea.

Besides, I was just in a bad mood. It just really sucked being away from Alice
with so much venom in my system. It made my mouth feel dry and gave me a
headache. Hopefully this addiction stuff would wear off a little after I became
a vampire. Or when I was dead.

So I sighed and decided to focus on my more human anxieties. "I don't know," I
said. "I mean, what if I don't do it properly? What if I mess it up? How do I
even say it? I mean, what do you think? Should I get down on one knee? Or is
that just—"

"Lame," Leah said. She chuckled and shook her head. "Forget the one knee shit.
Listen, proposing is easy. Movies make it seem hard, but trust me; the last
thing you wanna be is creative. You also don't want to leave anything to
chance, and you want don't interruptions. It's a very personal moment, so the
key things you need are privacy, a controlled environment, and a romantic
atmosphere. And the easiest way to achieve those conditions is…?"

I sagged my shoulders. Why did she have to quiz me every time I needed advice?
Hasn't she learnt that I'm just too stupid to figure it out?

"I don't know," I said. "A romantic restaurant?"

She grinned and shook her head. "Oh boy," she said. "Look, you'll never figure
it out, so I'll just tell you what to do. Alright?"

I nodded eagerly. "Okay."

Leah sighed, looking disappointed that again I was willing to cheat on an exam,
and then she nudged my shoulder. "Propose in bed," she said. "After sex. Wait
for the right moment, when you're all snuggly and stuff—not too tired or
exhausted—and then just do it. It's the best way, trust me. You don't even need
the ring right away, you can always give it to her later. It's the feeling that
makes it special. It has to feel right."

I was nodding. It all seemed to simple – and perfect! I could almost picture
it. Me and Alice in bed, holding each other, telling each other how much we
love each other. And when the moment's right…

"That's brilliant," I breathed.

Leah laughed at me. "It's common sense, dodo," she said. "Think you can handle
it?"

I nodded again. "I think so."

"Cool," she said. She gestured at the case. "Pick a ring."

I'd almost forgotten about a ring. I looked down at the case, slightly more
enthusiastic now, and one of them caught my eye immediately. It was a platinum
band with an arrangement of pink diamonds in the shape of a tiny butterfly. As
soon as I laid eyes on it, I could see it on Alice's finger. I smiled at the
strange feeling and pointed at it in the glass.

"What about the butterfly one?" I suggested.

Leah nodded, coolly impressed. "Sure," she said. "Alice likes butterflies."

I bent to look at it closer and Leah motioned for one of the salesgirls. The
blonde one, of course. She came over politely and spoke in French. Leah said
something back and the salesgirl removed the ring I was looking at and placed
it on the glass in front of Leah, but Leah smiled and said something. The
salesgirl smiled back in surprise and offered the ring to me instead, offering
a French apology.

I smiled too, since everybody seemed to be smiling, and asked Leah:

"What'd you say to her?"

Leah smirked. "She thought your boyfriend was making you buy your own ring,"
she said. "I told her it's for your girlfriend."

"O-oh."

I was a little awkward that some stranger now knew I was gay, but the salesgirl
didn't eject me from the store, and she only seemed to be interested in what I
thought of the ring. So I looked at the ring and nodded. Leah came up beside me
and spoke quieter.

"She thinks you're too young to get married," she said. "And too hot to be gay.
I love straight chicks like this. She'll be bi by tonight, watch me work."

Leah spoke to the salesgirl. She was platinum blonde and her shiny hair was
tied back in a professional-looking ponytail. The salesgirl raised her eyebrows
as the customer spoke, like a polite sales assistant, but then Leah spoke some
more and suddenly she blushed and looked taken aback before shaking her head
and babbling quickly in French, as if a misunderstanding had occurred and she
was denying something. Leah flirted a little more, her lips curved in a lady-
killer smirk, her smoky eyes as bright and sexy as the diamonds in the case.
The other woman shook her head a little more, but she allowed herself a
kittenish giggle, and I couldn't help rolling my eyes. Leah was such a man-
whore.

In any case, we were here for a ring, so I cleared my throat politely. "Um,
this one looks good," I said, pointing at the ring. "Can we get it?

They both looked at me. The salesgirl spoke to me in French and looked at Leah
for a translation. Leah smirked and turned to me.

"You don't want to browse a little more?" she suggested pointedly.

Obviously she wanted to keep flirting with the blonde snack in the tailored
skirt-suit. Since she was my sister, I decided to be understanding, but
honestly I would've prefer to go home as soon as possible and get a little of
Alice's saliva in my system.

"Alright," I said, "but I think I'll probably get this one."

Leah nodded at me, then spoke to the salesgirl. The salesgirl offered to show
Leah and I a few other things, and by the time we left she had also shown Leah
her phone number, and would probably show Leah even more after the date they
arranged for that same night.

—

The ring had cost more than a new car, and I went through the whole day and the
day after with the jewelry box in my pocket and a strange excitement in my
chest. I was nervous. Not about her answer, but about everything that came
after the answer. I'd woken up that morning from a dream in which I died in
Alice's arms, happily, eagerly. Our wedding night was going to be the most
special night of our life – but did I really want to be turned anymore?

To be honest, I wasn't even sure. It was disturbing how large the idea of death
had grown in my mind. It wasn't even something I connected with Alice anymore.
In a way, I wasn't even thinking about what Alice wanted, I was thinking about
what I wanted. I was shocked to realized that part of me did actually want to
die – in Alice's arms. It really seemed romantic. After all, she was a vampire.
She craved my blood. What greater expression of love could there be than
letting her have all of it? And I did love her. I loved her more than ever.

But I tried not to think about it. It was something I was going to have to
discuss with Alice, and if we did decide to do it, we'd have to do it on our
wedding night. We'd have to talk about it and decide what was better for our
relationship in the long term; to turn me and attempt to create a life
together…or kill me and die together. But either way, we had to get married. So
first – I had to propose.

Leah's advice was good—to do it in bed—but I wanted to make the proposal itself
as special as possible as well, so I decided to arrange a little something. I
didn't often take initiative in our bedroom activities—part of me was still
just silently grateful to even be near a naked body like Alice's—but I was in a
giddy mood from the imminent proposal, and I was seized with a sudden urge to
do something extreme, something that would show her exactly how much I love and
trust her. I spent all day thinking about it, and finally I came up with an
idea. It was a little radical, perhaps, but Alice herself had often claimed to
be a radical girl, and I was beginning to realize that deep down I was kind of
radical, too.

First of all I made it clear to the family that tonight I wanted to be alone
with Alice. Jane was a little put out, since Alice had been a little
preoccupied with Rosalie and Victoria lately, but Leah took the hint and
consoled Jane as best she could. Carlisle and Esme knew that I was planning to
propose, but Alice was in the room so they couldn't say anything. But later on,
Esme caught me alone in the kitchen, and rather than seduce me she opted to
badger me until I showed her the ring. She cooed over it, exclaiming that it
was the prettiest ring she'd ever seen, and then she gave me a big hug and
wished me all the best.

Alice and I went out with Victoria and Rosalie again, catching a show at the
Theatre du Chatelet. We had floor seats this time so we had to keep our tongues
to ourselves. It was a decent production, but I was too distracted about
tonight to pay much attention. We adjourned to that same café on the banks of
the Seine and sipped sherries as the subject of group sex was broached. But I
mentioned that I wanted to be alone with Alice tonight because I had a surprise
for her, and Alice lit up as perfectly as if she'd practiced. Forthwith all
thought of a foursome was abandoned, and while Rosalie seemed disappointed,
Victoria was far too engrossed in her disinterested pretence to do anything but
make a snarky comment or two.

Alice and I rushed home and jumped into the shower. We liked to shower
together, and it was a nice way to build the excitement. Alice was glowing,
pestering me constantly for hints about the surprise, but I was so nervous that
I wasn't even able to talk about it. I knew she'd love it, but it was one of
those things that you'd be ashamed to admit that you wanted it, too. She
probably thought it was going to be some softcore bondage experiment, but it
wasn't. It wasn't softcore, at all.

I had borrowed some gear from Leah and Jane, and after we showered we got
dressed. I rarely told Alice what to wear, and the fact that I'd actually
picked her outfit for her without her even asking me seemed to throw her into
even greater paroxysms of excitement.

Although she was surprised that it was mostly leather.

Shiny black patent leather. Domme-wear. Obviously it was a hint of what I was
expecting from her, and the realization that tonight she was the mistress was
enough to swat her into a more silent excitement. She had always claimed to be
submissive, but sometimes I thought her entire submissive streak was simply a
self-imposed defense mechanism against her more dominant tendencies. Which
were, according to Victoria, kind of violent. But I liked dominant Alice, and I
felt that it was finally time to let her love me the way she wanted to love me.
She lifted her corset and smiled at it. I smiled too and told her to put it on.

I waited naked while she donned the rest of the outfit, watching her pull on
her thigh-high boots and zip them up, smiling as she adjusted her breasts in
the bodice of her corset. I even did her make up. I had been picturing this
night all day and I wanted every detail to be correct. So I worked on her
pretty face with her pretty eyes fluttering at me, and finally I painted her
lips a sultry blood red. It was important that her lips were red. I felt that
very strongly, although I had no idea why. She was still badgering me for hints
about tonight, but I told her nothing, and when she was ready, I told her to
sit on the bed and close her eyes.

This sent another wave of visible excitement over her, and despite being
dressed up like little dominatrix she did enjoy being told what to do. So she
did it obediently, perching daintily on the edge of the bed and covering her
eyes with her gloved hands. I made sure she wasn't peeking, and then I got
dressed quickly.

It was mostly black lace, with an accessory or two. Stockings and gloves, bra,
panties. The center piece was a collar, black leather with metal studs. It was
attached to a chain lead, like a leash, and as I gathered the lead in my hand,
Alice heard the chains rattle.

"What was that?" she called out eagerly from behind her leather-clad hands.
"Was that chains?"

I grinned and started lighting candles. I'd already turned out the lights and
slowly the room warmed in an orange glow as I moved from candle to candle in my
lingerie, chains in one hand, a long match in the other. "Stop listening," I
said. "And keep your eyes closed."

"But baby, I'm so excited! Can't I just peek quickly, just once?"

"No, keep them closed."

"This is so unfair. Why make me wear leather if you're just gonna boss me
around like a sub?"

I smiled and ignored her. I'd blown out the match and now I was bobbed down at
the dresser. There was a surprise in the bottom drawer, and slowly,
noiselessly, I slid the drawer open. It was a out pajama drawer, but we didn't
often wear clothes in bed, so it was a safe place to hide things. I peeled away
the top layer of pajamas that were folded there and underneath were two things.
The jewelry box that held Alice's engagement ring. And a knife.

The knife was a thin stainless steel switchblade with embossed ebony handles
and silver scrollwork. My throat tightened as I looked it over, my face heating
self-consciously, and for a second I considered chickening out. But I remember
how much Alice liked my blood, and I remembered how Victoria had said that at
one time a knife was Alice's favorite bed toy. It was going to take a lot of
willpower to let her do things to me with it, but I wanted to show her how much
I trusted her and how far I was willing to go to make her happy.

So I swallowed the lump in my throat and picked up the knife, bobbed down at
the dresser in my black lace. I touched a finger to the tip of the blade and
pressed down. It hurt, and I didn't even break the skin. Candlelight danced on
the blade-edge and my breathing had gone deep and irregular.

"Everything okay, baby?" Alice asked from the bed.

I nodded to myself, a wave of giddiness washing over me. I licked my dry lips
and grabbed up the jewelry box. "Yeah," I said. "Just a second."

"Okay, but can you hurry up? I don't need anything fancy, baby, all I need is
you."

I opened the box and looked at the ring. The little pink butterfly sparkled in
the candlelight and I smiled as I let out a shaky breath. A warm feeling spread
through my body and I saw the rest of my entire life right there in the ring,
Alice, Alice, Alice. "Just a second," I repeated softly, staring at the ring.
"You're gonna love it, Alice, trust me."

She sighed loudly, and I snapped closed the box and restored it among the
pajamas. I felt one last moment of indecision with the knife in my hand, and
then I closed the drawer and rose.

I turned around. Alice was sitting on the edge of the bed, covering her eyes
with her hands. Her gloves were black patent leather and flecks of candleflame
were shimmering in the shiny surface. I took one last look around the room,
wondering if I got everything right, then I turned back to Alice. Her shoulders
heaved in another dramatic sigh, as if she knew I was watching her, and then I
took a trembly breath. I was holding the knife nervously in both hands.

"Okay," I said. "You can look."

Alice lowered her hands. She was lit up with a grin and at first she gasped in
delight at my costume. She had seen me wearing similar things a hundred times
before, but she was always amazed each time. I smiled and shifted my feet
nervously. She opened her mouth to exclaim how amazing I looked.

But then she saw the knife in my hands.

The grin froze on her face and she looked at it as if it confused her. Then she
lifted her eyes to mine, still smiling but unsure if she should be.

"Baby?" she said.

Nervousness rolled over me, but I forced myself to be casual. "Well, I've been
thinking," I said. "I know how much you like blood, and I know you dig
vulnerability and stuff. So I thought…"

I waved the knife loosely and gave a strange giggle. Alice's smile was gone and
she looked small and unsure, sitting there in her corset and boots. Her dark
eyes blinked in the candlelight and she didn't seem to know what to say.

I felt a sudden crash of insecurity, and my own smile slipped away. I was going
to be so embarrassed if she wasn't into this. How could she not be into it? I
looked away and looked back again.

"Well?" I said. "What do you think?"

My voice snapped her out of it. She started shaking her head, but she was too
flustered to really be succinct. "Baby, you don't have to…"

She trailed off, but her response did away with a lot of my insecurity. It
wasn't that she wasn't into it; it was that she was afraid to be into it. I had
felt that way, too, but I felt differently now. A small smile flickered on my
face and I stepped toward her. She looked up at my body as it was clad in lace
and bathed in candlelight.

"I know I don't," I said. "But I want to."

She looked up at me. "Baby," she whispered.

I smiled and climbed onto her lap. Her back straightened slightly, her eyes
fluttering, and I leaned my smile to her mouth. I kissed her, letting it linger
on her red lips, and then I pulled back. I was holding her face in my hands and
the knife was near her ear. She blinked at me, lips parted. I smiled at her.

"It's something I've been thinking about," I said. "I just thought it might be
fun, you know?"

Alice finally snapped out of it. She raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Fun?"

I was happy to finally break through the ice, and I giggled.

"Well, fun for you," I said. "For me it'll probably be a little painful."

I felt a flash of excitement as I said it, and saw a similar flash in Alice's
eyes. Her hands were resting at my hips and I was straddling her lap. I leaned
to her lips, smiling, and whispered into them.

"But that's okay," I said. "I want it to hurt. Because that will show you
exactly how much I want you. How much I trust you. And this is just the
beginning. I know you're dreams are a little dark, Alice, but I'm going to make
them come true. I promise."

I kissed her. Dimly, I was aware that I was talking about her dream of killing
me, and I think I decided right then during that kiss that I wanted her to do
it. Not now, not tonight. But eventually, maybe. If tonight was good. If she
wanted to.

I pulled back from the kiss and kissed her again, pressing my mouth against her
warm lips, and then I kissed her again, and again, building confidence. Finally
I smiled, kissed her one more time, and licked my lips. She looked up at me,
dazed, licking her own lips.

"Here," I whispered. "I'll start."

I bought the tip of the knife to my face, just under my right eye. I felt the
cool steel poke my cheek, and I felt cold excitement swirl in my stomach as I
realized that I was actually about to cut myself. I gripped the handle with
both hands. Alice watched me intently. I smiled at her to show her how excited
I was, and then I began to apply pressure on the knife. It started to hurt, and
bracing myself for more pain, I pushed the tip of the knife harder against my
cheek bone.

It hurt much more than I expected, but finally I broke the skin. I groaned,
surprised at the pain, and I felt something warm run down my face like a tear.
I lowered the knife. There was blood on the tip. I smiled, proud that I didn't
chicken out, and the smile made my cheek hurt.

Alice was staring at the blood. Her eyes had glazed over darkly and not even
the candleflames were reflected in those inky black pools. Blood dripped from
my face onto my chest and she lowered her eyes to look at the little red stains
on my white skin. She lifted her eyes back to mine and I turned my cheek to her
slightly.

"Go ahead," I whispered. "Hurry."

Alice wasted no more time. My eyes fell closed as I felt her tongue flatten
itself against my face and lap up that line of blood. She gave a moan and
watched more blood run. Then she licked up that blood as well. She kept licking
the blood that fell until the blood slowed, and then she kissed the cut softly,
making it sting painfully.

Finally I turned my face to hers, capturing her lips. I could taste my own
blood in her mouth, and there was so much venom in my system that it tasted
sweet. I could only imagine what it tasted like to her. When I pulled back, I
smiled, took her hand, and placed the knife in her palm. I grinned at her.

"I want you to savor me," I said. "Anything you want, okay? Even if it hurts.
Especially if it hurts."

She smiled, licking her lips. She flickered her eyes over the blood drops on my
chest and lifted them back to mine. "Are you sure about this, baby?" she asked.
"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"I want to."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Alice smirked and lifted the knife. She touched the tip to my other cheek and
my heart immediately started racing. She applied a little pressure, making my
skin dimple under the blade. I looked at her passively, refusing to flinch from
the cold steel. She looked at me with her dark eyes.

"Are you positive?" she whispered. "Because sometimes I can get a little
carried away."

I nodded against the knife blade. Her smile widened. She lifted her other hand,
threaded it into my hair, and took a handful. She pushed my face forward into
the knife, watching my eyes for any sign of hesitation. But I only smiled,
nuzzled the knife-tip with my cheek, and said:

"Go ahead."

My willingness pleased her, but she didn't do it. She only giggled and lowered
the knife, giving me an affectionate look as she petted my neck with her other
hand.

"Are you really sure about this, baby?" she asked. "I mean, isn't this just a
little too hardcore for you? You've never been into this stuff before."

"I'm sure, Alice," I said. "In fact, this is only part of the surprise. There's
still more."

"There is?"

"Mmhm. Much more."

"Like what?"

I giggled and kissed the tip of her nose. The proposal was the big surprise,
but it didn't feel right just then. There were other things we had to do first.
"Well, to begin with," I said, "you get to tie me up. And not just handcuffs.
You get to tie me up any way you want. You can uses chain, ropes, harness,
anything. Until I can't even move anymore and I'm completely helpless to
anything you want to do to me. How does that sound?"

She actually gulped. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," I said. I kissed her and whispered into her mouth. "Tonight, I'm
yours to command. Anything you want. Anything at all. Okay?"

"Okay," she whispered.

—

The first thing she did was set about tying me up. I sat in the center of the
bed, leaning back on my palms with my stockinged legs composed in the
candlelight, and I watched her bustle about the room with her bondage
equipment. She was hyper-excited and she kept brandishing different ropes and
chains, checking for my opinion on what I'd like, and I kept telling her that I
was cool with anything, smiling at her in her sexy black leather.

Such a cute domme.

Eventually she decided that rope would be best, since the rope could be cut
with the knife if she felt the need to rearrange my limbs in some way, like
opening my legs. She explained all this as she tied me up, and all I did was
nod, smiling at her as she knelt in the bed with my feet in her lap, looping
the rope tightly around my ankles. I'd never been bound at the feet before, and
it was exciting. Finally she tied a knot, making sure it wasn't too tight, and
then she flipped me onto my stomach and began tying my wrists together. After
this she looped the rope around my waist and chest, binding my arms to my
torso. The excitement grew in my belly, and finally she flipped me onto my
back, grinning at me excitedly.

"There," she said. "How do you feel?"

I was laying there, completely immobilized by rope. I smiled up at her
passively said:

"Vulnerable."

She giggled. "I know, isn't it awesome? Try moving. We have to make sure it's
tight enough."

I tried to move and only managed a helpless wriggle. Basically, the only thing
I could move was my waist, and I'd never been good at sit-ups. Alice giggled at
my squirming.

"Tight enough, baby?"

"I think so."

"Good. Oh, and just so you know, verbal abuse is a big part of being dominated,
so don't get upset if I call you a slut or whore or something like that, okay?"

"Okay."

Alice giggled and patted my hip. "Good girl," she said. "Baby's such an
obedient little whore, isn't she? Doesn't need any training at all, does she?"

I blushed and I had to assume it was a pretty blush. I wasn't good at the
roleplay stuff, but I didn't exactly have to pretend to be an obedient whore –
I kind of was one. So I smiled through the blush and said: "I guess so. But can
I ask a question?"

"You may."

"How you gonna fuck me with my legs tied together?"

She looked at my legs as if she hadn't considered them yet. They lay there in
the warm orange candlelight, stockinged and bound with rope at the ankles. She
stroked her hand over my thigh idly, up, down, like petting a cat. "Not sure
yet. But that's not important. As your mistress, I'm in charge of your orgasms
tonight. You'll come when I say so and only when I say so. Is that understood?"

"Okay."

"Of course, you may feel free to beg, if you want. Sluts like to beg. It won't
help you, but it can be fun to hear. In fact, I'll make you beg later. For now,
you'll have to just stay wet like the horny little slut you are, okay?"

As she spoke she had eased her hand between my thighs and began stroking the
edges of my panties, so maddeningly close to my pussy. Excitement was slamming
through my body like a sledgehammer, but I managed to nod. I'd never felt
anything like this before. Already my pussy was moistening between my bound
legs and I felt like begging right now, but I didn't. I was still a little
self-conscious about these sex-games, and I had to loosen up before I became
more vocal.

"Good girl," she said. "Now…"

She removed her hand from between my legs, crawled over to the nightstand, and
came back with the knife. She straddled my body and touched the knife to my
face, grazing the blade along the curve of my cheek. She smiled and suddenly
the excitement in my belly became a lot colder.

"So," she said. "This is what you wanted, isn't it? To be all tied up and
helpless. With me, kneeling over you with a knife. Hm? Can you guess what I'd
like to do to you with this, Bella?"

"What?"

A coy smile passed over her face and slowly drew the knife blade lower, along
my throat and over my chest. "All kinds of things," she said. "But that's okay,
you don't have to guess. You're going to find out. Very soon. But do you know
what I'm going to do first? First, I'm going to cut away your bra. Because I
really like your boobs, and I hate to see them covered up. It's a pretty bra,
but I'd rather see your tits. Baby's tits are even prettier."

My breath shivered. She had slipped the point of the knife between my breasts,
under the front of my bra, and then she flicked the knife upwards, severing the
catch.

The bra was a pushup and as soon as the tension was relieve my breast sprang
aside. Alice flicked away the bra cups with the knife blade and used her other
hand to grope one of them, grinning. I watched her face breathlessly, laying
there completely helpless as she groped up my boobs.

"Mmm," she said. "Such slutty little tits. It's wrong to judge a woman by her
body, of course, but with tits like these maybe you really are a born whore.
Hm? What do you think?"

"Um, yeah," I said. "I think so too."

It was a weak rejoinder, but I wasn't exactly an expert at this BDSM stuff, and
it was the best I had. It made Alice smile, and that was good enough.

"Good girl," she said. "May I cut you now?"

The blunt way she asked sent even more ripples of excitement through me. I
swallowed a sudden lump in my throat and nodded. "Yes," I said. "Of course you
can."

Alice watched me for a second, and then she lowered her eyes to my exposed
breasts. She grazed the knife against one of them, scraping the tip against the
soft flesh under my nipple. She lifted her eyes to mine and smiled.

"May I cut you here?"

"Yes."

She pushed the tip into my breast. The skin puckered, but it didn't break. I
shivered at the pain, knowing that the cut was going to be worse, knowing that
it was going to happen any second.

"Are you sure?" Alice asked teasingly. "It's going to hurt."

"I know."

"And baby doesn't mind?"

"No."

"Baby's okay if I cut her boob?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I'll do it nice and gentle so it won't hurt so much. I'll be really
careful."

I nodded, and looked down to watch. Alice grabbed my breast with one hand and
squeezed it to make it bulge. Then she poked the tip of the knife into the
swelling flash and began to push. I groaned as the pain grew and then suddenly
my tender skin popped like a fruit, gushing thick red blood onto the flat of
the blade.

Half an inch of the knife was buried in my breast, and the pain was bad enough
to drive away most of my horniness. But in its place there was a different
excitement, and I groaned again as I felt the knife withdraw. Sweat broke out
over my face from the pain, and when I opened my eyes Alice was watching me
anxiously.

"You okay, baby?"

I grinned suddenly. My breathing had gone ragged from the adrenaline, and I
nodded quickly.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded again, wincing once from the pain, and then I nodded down at my
bleeding tit.

"Quick," I said. "Don't waste it."

Blood was dribbling between my breasts and welling there in a little pool. She
smiled and stuck the tip of the knife in her mouth, licking off the blood, and
then she lowered her face to my chest. I leaned my head back and closed my
eyes. I felt her tongue lap up all the blood and then I felt her lips fasten
around the wound as she started sucking at it hungrily.

Soon the blood stopped running and she moved on to the other breast. The first
one had been such a success that she decided to tease me even worse with the
second one. She poked at it with the knife as if it was some piece of meat,
watching it dimple and pucker against the tip, searching for a nice soft spot
to stick it in. She kept asking what I thought and where I wanted her to do it,
and I found myself loosening up and encouraging her. The way she toyed with me
as I laid there so helpless made me horny all over again, but this time the
hornyness didn't go away, even as I hissed in pain as the knife slipped into
the soft underside of my breast. She then lowered her mouth and started
sucking.

She kept sucking and as the blood slowed she began to lick, letting the blood
well and lapping it up with her tongue before letting it well again.

"Mmm," she moaned, licking at the last of the welling blood. "Talk about blood
bags. This is awesome. I could do this all day."

"Me too."

"Mmm. I love your titties, Bella. So yummy. But you know what?"

Alice rose up and wiped her mouth with her wrist. She looked me over and put
her hands on her hips.

"I'm horny," she said. "I could use an orgasm before we go any further. What do
you think?"

"Okay."

"Baby wanna go down on me?"

"Mmhm."

"Yeah? Good girl. Well, come on then. If you do me really good I'll let you
have a vibrator in you for the next part."

Alice flopped back against one of the pillows with her legs open. Her corset
was crotchless and she held open the leather gap with her thumbs.

But apparently she'd forgotten that I was completely tied up, so all I could do
was lay there with my head tilted to the side, blinking at her wet and waiting
pussy. I didn't have a problem going down on it—nothing would make me
happier—but I couldn't really figure out how she expected me to actually get
over there. So I smiled and said:

"Um, I'm kind of tied up."

"I know."

"I can't really move."

"You can wriggle. Now, hurry up and get your slutty little butt over here. You
have no idea how horny I am. I'm about to pop, seriously. Hurry, baby, hurry."

Her pussy wasn't really that far away, but even short distances were
challenging when your arms were lashed to your own torso and your ankles were
locked together with rope. I rolled over twice and tried to hump over like a
caterpillar, but it was exhausting work, and eventually I collapsed just a
couple feet from her pussy. I groaned frustratedly.

"Can't you just sit on my face?"

"Nope, I want to embarrass you. Come on, you're almost there. Look at baby
crawl like a worm. She so cute, isn't she? Like a slutty little snake."

"You're an asshole, Alice."

"Oh, don't give up, baby. You're sooo close, and my pussy needs you sooo badly.
Hurry, I need you."

"My pussy's kind of horny too, you know."

"I know, baby, and I'll take care of you eventually, but tonight I'm the
mistress, remember? You said yourself that you're going to do anything I wanted
and right now I want you to crawl to my pussy like a good little whore and eat
it out nice and thoroughly, okay?"

I groaned and wriggled closer. I'd been fantasizing about this all day but none
of my daydreams had included dragging my halfnaked body across the bed like a
seal while my so-called soulmate mocked and demeaned me. It was fun, sure, but
my visions for tonight had been a little more romantic.

"Okay, baby, I'm getting frustrated now. Do you need a hand? You're almost
there, anyway."

"Yes, thank you."

"Oh, alright. Come here."

I was almost between her legs by now, and she leaned forward and grabbed a
handful of my hair. She yanked me up forcibly and deposited my face in her
pussy.

"Oww," I said into her vagina, my scalp burning from the hair pulling.

Alice giggled. "Oh, don't be a baby, baby. You wanted pain, remember? That's
what you said. You said you wanted it to hurt. Now suck it up and start
licking."

I already was, and while her scent was as intoxicating as ever, I still had the
presence of mind to be amazed how much more romantic pain had seemed before it
actually started. Alice moaned pleasurably as my tongue wriggled into her folds
and she widened her legs a little more, holding my head by the hair.

"Good girl," she said. "Yes. That's exactly what I want. Oh god. I love you,
Bella. You're so fucking awesome. Keep going, baby, keep going. Ugh. That's so
good. Do you like it, baby? Do I taste nice? Tell me I taste nice."

I moaned into her pussy. It was so weird doing this with no use of any of my
limbs, but that only made it hotter. "You taste amazing," I told her. "I love
your taste. Mmmm. I could lick you forever, Alice. I love you."

"Oh god," she groaned. "I love you too, baby. Keep going. Keep going. Stick
your tongue in. Deeper. Deeper. Lick me as deep as you can, show me how much
you love me. Yes. Ugh. Oh god, baby. I love it. Keep going."

I kept licking, and I wasn't lying when I said she tasted amazing. Her essence
contained her scent and her pheromones, all the things I was addicted to, and I
truly could stay like this forever. Bound with ropes and face first in her
lovely pussy, no use of my limbs at all. Who needs arms and legs? All I needed
was a tongue, because it was my tongue that served Alice, my mistress, my
queen. My gorgeous soulmate who tasted so sweet, my lovely girlfriend, my
future fiancé. I truly could stay like this for—

"Actually, I changed my mind," Alice said suddenly, flinging my face away from
her pussy by the hair. "I don't wanna come just yet. I'll come later. Let's do
some other stuff first."

Well. And just when it was getting romantic, too.

Alice had hopped off the bed and skipped over the dresser where she stood in
the candlelight and sorted among the sex toys there. I rolled over in my ropes
so I could watch her, licking my lips to relish her taste. She had her back to
me and I smirked at her perky ass, framed between her black leather corset and
black leather boots. But my smirk faded somewhat when I realized she was lubing
up a string of anal beads.

"Okay, baby, bend over. It's time to stick something inside that luscious ass
of yours."

On one hand, I was flattered at the complement. My ass wasn't a feature I had
solid opinions about since I rarely saw it, but it was nice to know Alice liked
it. But on the other hand, I wasn't really used to anal stuff, and I was
naturally self-conscious.

She turned around with the beads and saw me hesitating. The beads were pink
plastic and quite large, really. She blinked at me innocently, and it was
almost easy to forget that she was decked out in black leather, a deceptively
dominant young demon.

"What's wrong, baby?"

My heart jumped. I didn't want Alice to think I was hesitant, because honestly
I wasn't. Tonight was all about Alice, and Alice's whims were my command. If
she wanted to stick something in my ass, then that was exactly what I was going
to let her do – and like it, too. So I shook my head quickly.

"Nothing," I said. "I just, um. I don't know if I can bend over."

I was already wriggling. Alice giggled and came over.

"Here, let me help you."

She lifted me onto my knees and pushed me face first into the mattress so that
my ass was in the air. It was a little ungraceful, perhaps, but as long as
Alice was enjoying herself. She patted my butt a few times.

"First all, I'll have to cut away these panties," she said. "After all, we
can't pull them down over the ropes, can we? Will baby be happy to get her
panties off?"

My pussy throbbed at the suggestion. "Yes."

"I thought so. Horny baby wants to get naked. Well, I'll let you be naked, but
don't get too excited. You're not going to come for a while yet."

I felt the cold blade of the knife slide under my panties and my ass shivered.
Alice teased me with it there.

"You like that, baby?"

"Yes."

"You want me to make a cut here, too? I think that would be nice, what do you
think? Baby has such a beautiful ass. I'd love to lick it."

"Do I really?"

"Mmhm. Not as nice as mine, but close."

"No ass is as nice as yours."

"Aww, that's so sweet. I love you, baby."

"I love you, too."

"Good. Now, let's get these beads into your ass, hm?"

"Okay."

Alice grabbed a handful of my panties and stretched them out, pulling them
tight against my pussy. She sawed at the fabric, severing them at the crotch
and then at the waistband. They came away wet and Alice giggled at my wet
pussy. She teased it with a finger, almost tickling it, and my whole body
quivered, kneeling there with my ass in the air and my face in the mattress.

"Aww, look at how horny baby is. Too bad she isn't allowed to come yet. But
don't worry, it'll happened eventually. How many beads would you like inside
you, baby?"

She spread my ass with her thumb. I breathed into the mattress.

"As many as you want, Alice."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Well, let's start with one."

She pushed the first one in and made my body squirm. The beads weren't even
that large, but it felt huge inside my ass, and I frowned at the strange
excitement coursing through me. I clenched down on it automatically and this
made me even more excited.

"There, that's one," Alice said. "How does that feel?"

"It feels good."

"You like that baby?"

"Yes."

"Do you want more?"

"Yes," I said, wanting to be as submissive as possible. "I want as many as you
want to put in me, Alice. Keep going until you think I've had enough. As many
as you want."

Alice giggled and pushed another one in.

"There, that's two. But you know what? I'm just gonna keep going. I know baby's
a terrible little whore and I know she wants as many as possible. So let's just
cram you full, okay?"

"Okay."

My breath hitched as another one was pushed in. Then another one. Then another
one. I groaned and squirmed in my ropes, my ass twitching uncontrollably with
these things in it, so hard, so large. Alice chuckled in satisfaction and
caressed my ass gently, and then she leaned and placed a couple kisses on it.

"You're so cute, baby. Look how you're ass is twitching. You really like it,
don't you? Such a slutty little butt. Do you want me to leave them there while
we do other stuff?"

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

Alice spanked me quickly, causing me to clench down almost painfully on the
beads. She giggled at my groan.

"Sorry, couldn't resist. I'm really mean, aren't I? But listen, since your
being such a good girl, I'll put something in your pussy too, okay? Hold on a
second."

I felt the mattress tilt, and I knelt there waiting, ass in the air with a
string of beads sticking out of it like a strange tail. My ass was still
twitching and my face felt like it was on fire. Alice came back and knelt at my
side so she could show me what she'd fetched. It was a small pink vibrator,
oval shaped, with a remote control switch.

"See this, baby? I'm gonna put this in your pussy, and every time you're a good
girl, I'll do this:"

She pressed the switch and the device vibrated in her hand. Just looking at it
was enough to make me crave it. I was so horny and I'd do anything for a quick
orgasm. I nodded in the mattress, my face flushed.

"Okay," I whispered. "Okay."

"Good girl. But remember, it's only for when you behave. So you have to keep
being a good girl, okay?"

"I will, Alice. Please. Put it in me."

My legs were still tied together, so it was a tight fit, but she got it in
there. She eased it between my wet folds and I groaned as I felt it slip into
my vagina.

"Feel good, baby?"

I groaned again, clenching down on both objects, my mind clouding over with
lust. "Yes," I said. "Thank you. Oh god, thank you Alice. That feels so good."

"Aww, I love gratitude. What a good little girl. I wasn't going to reward you
so soon, but I just love a grateful slut. What do you think, baby? Do you think
you deserve a quick blast of the vibrator as a reward?"

"Yes. Please."

"Well, since you asked so nicely I guess I'll have to."

Alice hit the switch and my whole body spasmed as the vibrator came alive
inside me. A loud groan rumbled from my chest and just that one burst almost
pushed me into orgasm.

Then it stopped.

"Oh god," I panted, "Oh god."

My face was crumpled in despair in the mattress. I didn't think it would be
that bad. I needed more. I needed so much more. Alice giggled and patted my
naked butt affectionately.

"Don't worry, baby, I won't leave you wet all night. All you need to do is be a
brave girl and do as you're told, okay? Then I'll let you come. Are you going
to be a brave girl?"

"Yes. I'll do anything."

"Yes. You will."

I thought she was just being dominant, but she actually broke character for a
second. She lifted me up by the hair and looked into my flush and panting face.
I couldn't sit back on the anal beads and I had no use of my arms, so I only
knelt there, awaiting some kind of command. She wiped some hair away from my
sweaty forehead and smiled.

"Thank you for this, Bella," she said. "I'm not really like this, I swear, but
sometimes…"

I didn't know what she was getting at, but I was way too horny to think about
it properly. So I just kissed her. The touch of her lips gave me a surge of
excitement, and I deepened the kiss suddenly, forcing my tongue into her mouth.
She giggled around my tongue and then she threw me onto the bed, mounted my
bound body, and started tonguing me wildly.

For a while she just had some fun with me. She left the beads and the vibrator
inside me, and I was completely naked now, aside from the rope and the
stockings. She wrapped me into her arms like a giant teddy bear, and she rolled
me on top, and grabbed my ass and tits, and kissed me some more. I was going
crazy from hornyness, and my thighs were starting to cramp from how I kept
trying to open them against the rope.

At last she was ready to spend some quality time on my legs, and as soon as she
cut away the rope, my thighs sprang open as if there had been a spring between
them. If I had use of my arms I probably would've stuffed a whole hand inside
my pussy, but I had no hands. All I had was my mouth, and I used it to beg for
a little release—begging with my legs open and the vibrator so still and inert
inside me—but my pleas fell on deaf ears.

"Alice, please," I said. "Just kiss my pussy once. That'll be enough. Just one
little kiss. You don't have to make me come if you don't want, but please—"

"Bella, if you don't stop begging, I'm going to have to gag you. Is that what
you want?"

My legs were so open they felt like they were splitting, and all I could think
about was getting a tongue in there, or at least turning the vibrator on. My
pussy was clenching down on the plastic lump spastically, and I felt like I was
going to come any minute, but I never did.

"Please, Alice?" I went on. "I've been a good girl, you know I have. Just one
little kiss? You said you loved me. Don't you want to? I know you do."

Alice narrowed her eyes at me playfully and slapped at my tits. "Bad girl for
trying to guilt me," she said. "Just be patient, okay? I know that's hard for
you because you're such a whore, but you'll have to try. Okay?"

"Alice, come on—"

But she slapped my tits again and I fell silent, pouting at her. Alice smiled
and ignored the pout, turning her attention to my legs. She lifted one of them
and caressed the whole stockinged length of it, strumming it like a cello. My
skin was sensitive, and her fingers left trails of fire.

"Hmm," she said. "I have the perfect idea."

"What?"

"Hold your leg up straight, okay?"

"Like this?"

"Exactly like that. Good girl."

She gave me a quick blast of the vibrator. I moaned and my leg trembled. It was
straight up in the air like a mast, and as I recovered from the vibrator burst,
I saw that Alice had retrieved the knife from wherever she'd left it. I pouted
at her, wondering what she was going to do, and then she slipped the blade
inside the stocking and slit it all the way to the foot, revealing my bare leg.

I kept my leg straight. Alice looked at it fondly and trailed the cool knife
blade up and down it.

"You have such beautiful legs, baby. It'll be such a shame to damage them. But
so fun, too. I don't know what to do. I'm conflicted. What do you think, baby?"

My pussy was throbbing incredibly and I was still mad at her for making me so
horny, but I had enough clarity to remember that I had arranged this night
specifically for her, so she could do anything she wanted. So I put aside my
own mind-numbing lust and focused on hers, nodding at the question.

"It'll heal," I said. "Go ahead."

She nuzzled my calf with her cheek and smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Go ahead."

"Well, if you insist. Is it okay if it hurts?"

"Of course. Anything you want, Alice. Hurt me as much as you want. I like it."

Alice smiled into my eyes and made a quick cut in my thigh. I winced at the
pain, my body clenching down on the beads and the vibrator, setting off a chain
reaction of spasms as I clenched and clenched again at the pain. Alice lips
were lowered to the cut and she was sucking at it. It was so close to my pussy
I felt like crying.

After that she moved on to the other leg, slitting the stocking in the same way
as the other one. She ordered me to keep my leg up straight and she teased me
with the knife for a little bit. She made a small cut near the top of my leg
and watched the blood run down in it in a thin streak. Then she leaned and
licked up the whole line, from the base of my thigh right up to my foot, her
tongue dragging a hot trail over my sensitive skin. Then she waited for another
line to run down my leg before licking that one up too. She repeated this until
the blood stopped running, and then she made more cuts in my thighs and calves,
lapping at them one by one until they stopped bleeding, and then perusing the
rest of my unmarked flesh for the ideal spots to make another.

By the time she was finished my legs were covered in cuts and I was senseless
with lust. I lay there limply, covered in sweat from the pain and exhilaration,
and finally she gathered up my broken form in her arms and kiss me. I whimpered
and kissed her back. I occurred to me that I really loved her, and that seemed
to be the only thought my frazzled mind was capable of forming.

Finally she broke the kiss and stroked back my damp black hair.

"Well," she said, looking into my face. "I think it's time to let you come,
don't you?"

I smiled languidly. She buzzed the vibrator and my body spasmed lazily. "Yes,"
I said. "But what about you?"

"You can do me after I do you, okay?"

"Okay."

"Do you want me to do you now?"

"Yes. Please."

"Okay. But there's just one more thing I want to do. I'll make you come
straight after, or even during. Is that okay?"

"Of course. Anything, Alice. Anything. I'll wait as long as you want me to. I
love you."

"I love you too, baby. Come here…"

Our final position of the night involved me on my knees in the middle of the
bed. Alice had rearranged my binds so that my wrists were lashed to my ankles,
leaving my whole torso wrenched back and my breasts tilted upwards. I was
immobilized even more securely than before, and the only thing I could move was
my head.

Alice smiled at me in the candlelight. She had the knife in one hand and she
was looking over my naked and bound body as if wondering where to use it.

"You look so beautiful like this, baby," she said. "Helplessness suits you."

"I was always helpless to you, Alice."

"Maybe. But now you truly are helpless. I could do anything I wanted to you…and
there's nothing you could do to stop me."

"I wouldn't stop you anyway."

"No?"

"No."

"So, you're a girl without limits, are you?"

"Basically."

"There's nothing you wouldn't let me do?"

"Nothing."

Alice smiled at me for a moment. I smiled back, kneeling there with my hands
tied back to my ankles. Totally helpless, yet totally confident. Alice cocked
her head and giggled.

"Okay," she said. "Let's put that to the test."

She stabbed my stomach.

It was a shallow stab, just the point of the knife, but it made me flinch and
groan. The beads were still dangling out my ass and the vibrator was still in
my pussy. My lower body clenched down on both objects, my whole face scrunching
up from pain and lust.

Alice put her hand against the wound, and when I opened my eyes and looked
down, I saw the blood pooling into her cupped hand. Then she lifted her hand
and drank it. I could feel blood running down my abdomen and over my crotch and
leaking along my leg, and briefly I wondered how much I'd lost tonight. The
cuts had all been shallow, but there were lots of them.

Alice smiled and licked her bloody fingers. Blood was smeared on her pale face
and the blood was dark in the candlelight and she looked almost monstrous,
poised over me with a knife in one hand and blood all over the other, watching
the pain pass over my face with little more than curiosity, like some hellish
inquisitrix.

I grinned at her languidly. "Can I come yet?"

She paused in her licking. Then she lowered her bloody hand and smiled a child-
like smile. "Soon," she said. "But let me play with you a little more first,
okay?"

The look in her black eyes made my pussy throb even harder, but at this point I
didn't really care about a climax. I seemed to be having a transcending
experience. I was slipping away into a realm where pain and pleasure didn't
exist anymore, a place beyond ache and ecstasy where demons do live and where
there was nothing of the known world save Alice, Alice, Alice.

So I fixed a glazed smile on my pretty tormentor with eyes glistening slavishly
in the candlelight and I said: "Anything you want, Alice. Anything…"

"Good," she said. "That's good."

Then she stabbed me again.

—

I passed out at some point, and when I woke up the lights were on and the
candles were out. My head was resting on something soft and someone was
stroking my hair idly. My eyes fluttered open, focused, and I saw Alice smiling
down at me.

"Hey," she said.

I blinked. "Hey."

My head was laying in her lap. I winced and sat up slowly. Alice helped me. I
put a hand to my forehead—to try and ease the throb there—and I realized that I
wasn't tied up anymore. I looked around in confusion. My whole body was stiff
and my lower parts felt as if I'd had things stuffed in them all night. Oh
wait, I did.

"You okay, baby?"

I looked at her. Gone was the demon with the knife, and here was only Alice.
Her adorable brow was puckered in concern, but I set her at ease with a smile.

"I'm great," I said. Then I frowned myself. "Did I come?"

Alice tried not to grin too brightly. "Kind of," she said. "You screamed and
passed out. It was a bit too intense for you, I think."

I was wearing a similar grin, and for a few seconds neither of us could think
of anything to say. It seemed corrected to be at least a little ashamed of some
of the things we'd done, but neither of us were. I looked at her and she bit
her lip, her face blushing brightly.

"We're a couple of freaks, aren't we?"

We looked at each other and tried not to giggle. Two snickers escaped us at the
same time and this was so funny we couldn't hold it back anymore. We collapsed
together, giggling, holding each other and cackling helplessly as we rolled in
the bloodstained bedsheets.

The first thing we did was tidy up the room. Most of it could wait till
morning, but we kicked the underwear and toys into a pile, and put away some of
the candles. We went for a shower together, and examined the damage to my body.
It was pretty bad. Cuts everywhere, a few hefty bruises and rope marks in pale
skin. But it would probably all heal within a couple weeks, so I didn't worry
about it much. I should be fine by the wedding, that is, assuming there's going
to be a wedding anytime. I had planned to propose tonight, but I was so
physically and emotionally exhausted that I didn't know if I'd be able to
anymore. It's not every night you get sexually mutilated by your girlfriend
before passing out during orgasm.

Once we were clean, we threw on some clothes—underwear and tanktops—and climbed
into bed together. I knew we wouldn't be going to sleep right away, so I kept
alert for the right moment. Tonight had been incredible, and I'm sure Alice
would love it if I could somehow work in the proposal, too.

The lights were off, but it was a full moon outside and the curtains were open.
Bluish light spilled from the tall windows onto the bed. Alice had a leg thrown
over me under the covers and she kept snuggling against me, as if she couldn't
quite get close enough. She sighed dreamily and evidently decided to thank me
one more time for tonight.

"Thank you, baby," she said. "That was so special tonight. I can't believe you
let me do all that stuff."

Me either. But hey, that's the kind of girlfriend I am. Bella Swan: masochistic
plaything. Besides, it was all for Alice. It wasn't a conventional method of
lovemaking, but in the world of vampires, nothing says 'I Love You' like
hardcore bondage and a little knifeplay.

"Did you like it?" I asked.

"Yes," she said, with a touch of shame in her voice now that it was all over.
"I wish I didn't enjoy hurting you like that, but it's fascinating to me. To
see how far you'll go. To see if you really do have limits."

Her words reminded me of what I'd been thinking all week. Death. Dying in her
arms. Did she know that I was willing to go that far? Did tonight show her? Or
did she still think I was afraid?

I held her, and I decided not to talk about it directly, but I couldn't help
flaunting my new found darkside. "Well, this was just the beginning," I said.
"We're gonna do stuff like this more often, I promise. Anything you want,
Alice, whenever you want."

But she only giggled and tried to snuggle closer. "Well, not too often," she
said. "I don't need things like that to be happy, baby. All I need is you."

I glowed at that, but I didn't want her to settle, I wanted her to have it all.
"I know," I said. "But you can't stop me from trying to be perfect for you."

"You already are perfect."

"Not as perfect as you."

She raised up on an elbow and I was surprised to see her frowning in the
moonlight. "I'm not perfect," she said. "I'm horrible. Look at what I've done
to you."

I smiled at her insecurity, thinking it was the most silly thing in the world,
and then I pulled her on top of me. She settled flat against my body, face to
face, and I was speaking almost into her mouth.

"I like what you've done to me," I whispered. "Because I like how you make me
feel. Words can't describe how much I love you Alice. That's why we have to do
stuff like this. So I can show you."

"You don't need to show me, baby."

But I could feel the love now, burning in my chest like a hot coal. "Yes," I
said. "I do."

We looked into each other's eyes for a moment, and then I smiled.

"In fact, I have another surprise for you."

"You do?"

"Mmhm," I said, pushing her off me gently. "I was waiting for the perfect
moment. I was hoping this would be it. That's why I wanted to do something
special."

"You mean all night wasn't the real surprise?"

"Nope."

"My god, what is it?"

I had bent at the dresser and opened the bottom drawer. I took out the jewelry
box and checked inside quickly, in case something had happened to it. But the
ring was there as I left it. It looked pretty in the moonlight, but you
couldn't tell the stones were pink. I considered turning the lights on, but
darkness seemed more romantic.

"Baby?"

Excitement flared in my stomach and I turned back to the bed. Alice was trying
to see what was in my hands. I climbed onto the bed and sat there beside her. I
held the box in my lap, my bare legs startlingly white in the moonlight, and I
could see Alice's heart skip a beat as she saw what kind of box it was.

She lifted her eyes to mine breathlessly. I was encouraged by the reaction, and
after swallowing my nervousness, I opened the box to show her. She looked down
at it and her eyes began to fill with tears. She covered her mouth with her
hand. I watched her anxiously.

"I've been thinking about how we can make my turning special," I said, "and I
thought maybe…"

Alice blinked at me. Two tears fluttered and fell from her eyes. I gave a shy
shrug.

"…I thought we could do it on our wedding night," I finished.

She looked at me with an expression I'd never seen on her before, her eyes wide
and breathless, brimming with joy and fulfillment and dreams come true. I
smiled.

"Will you marry me, Alice?"

Alice launched herself at me in a sudden hug. Her arms tightened around me hard
enough to hurt and she whimpered into my ear.

"Oh my god, baby, of course I will," she said. "You know I will, I love you. Oh
god, thank you so much. This is so amazing. I was thinking the exact same
thing, that we could do it on our wedding night. But I didn't want to tell you,
because I didn't…"

But she stopped babbling and pulled away from the hug suddenly so she could
look at the ring. She clasped her hands, but she didn't dare touch it, as if it
might evaporate on contact.

"Oh god, I can't believe this," she said. "I always dreamed of you proposing,
right from when I first saw you. But I didn't think you would, because you're
so young. But I really wanted you too, and I could really picture it, just like
this—well, not exactly like this, this is so much better, this is just—I mean…
I can't…"

Suddenly she couldn't contain her joy anymore and she grabbed my face and
forced her tongue in my mouth. I'd seen a lot of romantic comedies, but I'd
never seen a reaction to a proposal quite like this. Still, my
girlfriend—pardon me, my fiancé—was a lusty girl, and that was one of the
things I loved about her.

"Oh fuck, I love you, baby," she said, as soon as her mouth was free. "I love
you so much. Yes, I'll marry you. I'll marry you and I'll love you forever.
I'll make you so happy baby, I swear."

I smiled at the outpouring of devotion and gestured with the box.

"Do you want me to put the ring on?" I asked.

"Oh god, yes," she said. She wiped her face with her hands quickly and dangled
her fingers at me. "Oh please baby, hurry. I want it so badly, you have no
idea."

There was a definite sexuality to her need for the ring, but she didn't seem to
be aware of it, so I just took the ring out of the box and took her hand. She
gazed at the proceedings with glistening eyes, and her hands were trembling so
bad it felt like a little bird. I slipped the ring onto her slender finger—a
perfect fit—and she gushed out a giggle.

"Oh god," she said, holding her hand up to the moonlight and gazing dreamily at
the ring. "A butterfly. That's so beautiful. It's perfect. You're amazing,
baby. I love you so much."

She hugged me. Tightly. I patted her back and took a moment to enjoy her scent.
Soft lavender, so sweet and perfect. I smiled to myself, proud that I'd truly
managed to make it special.

"Leah took me ring shopping yesterday," I said. "I looked through the whole
store, but I knew that one was perfect for you right when I first saw it."

"It is," she said, tightening the hug even more. "Oh god, it's so perfect."

Then she suddenly let go of the hug and kissed me, another savage tongue kiss.
She moaned into my mouth with a hunger that was almost unattractive, and then
she broke the kiss, gasping and clawing at my panties with her shaky hands.

"Oh god, baby," she said in a trembly voice. "I'm gonna fuck you so good. I
love you so much."

But her passion reminded me of something else, and I caught her hands with my
own before they could tug my underwear away. She looked at me questioningly. I
smiled hesitantly, suddenly unsure.

"Wait a second," I said. "There might be something else."

Alice lowered her hands from the waistband of my panties and blinked at ne.

"What is it, baby?"

I licked my suddenly dry lips. The idea had entered my head, and now I couldn't
get rid of it. It was there, so clear so simple. So perfect.

Alice said that she had dreamed of me proposing ever since she first saw me,
but that's not all she dreamed. I knew it wasn't. She had other dreams, too,
darker ones. And after tonight I knew that those dreams were still there,
rattling around in her pretty little head of hers, hiding for now, but not
forever. Alice craved me in a way that love or sex was never going to satisfy.
She wanted more than marriage.

She wanted my life.

I took a shaky breath. Maybe I didn't have to say anything right now, but I
wanted this moment to be as perfect as possible. I wanted her to know that I
was ready to be with her in anyway that she wanted. I was nodding to myself,
agreeing with my reasoning, and then I lifted my eyes to Alice's face.

"It's just," I said. "I was thinking. About our relationship. And about me
turning. And I realized, that…"

Alice cocked her head. "That what, baby?"

I took another breath, more steady this time, and went on with more confidence,
telling myself that this was what Alice wanted. What Alice needed from me. I
took her hands and composed them in her lap, caressing her ring finger where
the diamond butterfly perched above her slender knuckle. She seemed a touch
confused by the gesture, but I smiled at her.

"I was thinking that maybe there's something else we could do on our wedding
night," I said. "Something even more special."

Alice cocked her head the other way "What do you mean?"

"Actually, it was your idea," I said, blushing now, my thick. "Do you remember
that idea you had at prom?"

Alice's smile froze, like a deer in the headlights. I couldn't tell if it was
because she hated that idea or because she secretly cherished it, so I went on.

"It was the wrong time then," I said, still holding her hands. "That's why I
reacted so badly. But now…"

Alice tugged her hands away gently, as if afraid to touch me. But she smiled,
as if she might be misunderstanding something. "What are you saying, baby?" she
asked.

I could tell she was preparing to deny everything, so I made an effort to
explain what I was feeling. "Back then you were using it as an escape," I said.
"But now we're happy. We don't have to run away from Victoria anymore. We don't
have to run away from your family. But at the same time we love each other too
much to include them in our relationship. So if we did it now, maybe it really
would be all the things you said it would be. The ultimate expression of love.
The only way to preserve it forever. To protect it."

A distant cast had come over her eyes and she was shaking her head. "Baby…"

But I smiled and turned her face to mine. "And besides," I said. "Deep down, I
know it's what you really want. I know how badly you want me, Alice. All of me.
I saw it tonight. I know what you really want to do to me."

Alice looked at me with a strange expression. It might've been disappointment.
But I shook my head, as if I didn't want to believe that, and I took her hands
again. I held them and looked into her face sincerely, thinking she only needed
reassurance.

"But it's okay now," I said. "Because now I know. I want it too."

—

***** Chapter 36 *****
—

Chapter 36:

—

My heart seemed to stop beating as I waited for a reaction. I don't know what I
had expected. It was natural for a girl to get all gushy over an engagement
ring, but something like this? Not even Alice seem to know what was
appropriate.

For a long moment she didn't even look at me. She looked down at her lap where
her hands were folded there, left on top of right, the ring like a dark mark on
her finger in the darkness. You couldn't make out the butterfly or the
diamonds. She wore a pink tanktop and her bare shoulders were slightly slumped.
Finally she looked up, but not at me. She looked off at the windows where they
stood open to admit the moonlight. As her face turned her face was bathed in a
pale glow and as she turned her face away her face was endarkened once more.
She was looking down at the bed, at the fresh sheets that we'd changed
together, and she passed her hand over some wrinkles in the fabric as if to
smooth them. Then she looked at me and smiled.

My face felt hot from awkwardness and my throat tight. I couldn't interpret the
smile. It was a delicate smile, calm and composed and yet slightly sad, as if
something had disappointed her in a major way but she was determined not to
show it. A bad feeling welled in the pit of my stomach, but when she saw it in
my face she only brightened her smile and touched one of my hands.

"Baby," she said. "Let's not talk about this now, okay?"

Her touch made me tingle the same way it did back in that first biology class,
only this time it was a cold tingle. I was filled with a feeling that I'd done
something wrong, but wasn't this exactly what she wanted? Shouldn't she be
happy?

I looked at her timidly. "Why?"

She rubbed my hand and brightened up her smile even more. "Because we just got
engaged, baby," she said. "Let's not…spoil it."

My throat seemed to close over. She had been reluctant to use the word spoil,
but she had said it anyway. Embarrassment flushed through my body and I had to
look away. My voice came out thick.

"Spoil?" I said.

Alice could see how upset I was, so she shuffled over on the bed quickly and
put her arms around me. Her embrace was warm, but I shivered anyway. I felt
cold inside from the blood loss and the disappointment of messing up the
proposal, and I still couldn't look at her. I felt her lips kiss my cheek,
once, twice, and then her voice whispered in my ear.

"Let's talk about it later," she said. "For now…let's just celebrate, okay?"

I turned to her. My eyes had filled slightly with tears, but I was grateful at
her willingness to overlook my fuck up, so I nodded quickly. "Okay."

She smiled, her face pale and ethereally beautiful in the moonlight. I felt a
sudden craving for her, but it was a craving in my heart. I needed to be close
to her, to be reassured that I hadn't messed up too badly. Alice seemed to see
it in my eyes and she kissed my lips tenderly, wrapping her arms around me
tighter.

"Come here," she whispered, laying me down on the pillow. She stroked my hair
and kept kissing me. "I'm so sorry, baby. I love you."

I didn't know what she was apologizing for, but I was to exhausted to question
it, so I just whispered back:

"I love you too."

A soft moan escaped her as she deepened the kiss.

"I know, baby," she said. "I know. I know."

My body had been through a lot that night, but she was very gentle, very
tender. She stroked my sides and slipped her hand up my top. She kissed my
neck. My hand had cupped her breast, and she took it with her own hand and
pressed it firmer against her chest, and then she moved it and pressed it to
other parts of her body, her ass, her pussy, smiling at me as she did so. She
removed my clothes carefully, carefully placing kisses over my wracked body.
Kisses everywhere, on each wound, each bruise. Softly, as if to apologize. I
was still half-giddy from exhaustion and adrenaline, and her lips didn't hurt.
They felt nice and they made me shiver and moan as I lay there in the moonlight
with her between my legs, licking lovingly at my entrance.

—

When I woke up in the morning, I still had the vague feeling that something was
wrong, and the feeling intensified when I realized I was alone in the bed.

Alice wasn't there.

I hadn't woken up alone even once since we had gotten back together, and with
last night's half-botched proposal still fresh in my mind, I was quick to
panic. I sat up quickly—

And cringed.

The pain was almost worse than last night. Wincing and squinting at the sun in
the window, I pushed aside the covers and looked down at myself. I was wearing
a white tanktop and a fresh bloodstain was blooming in the cotton. I'd sat up
too quick and reopened one of the stab wounds in my midsection. I peeled up the
hem of the top to examine it quickly, but I lost interest as soon as I
remembered that Alice wasn't here.

I looked around the room. The dirty sheets and underwear were gone, all the
toys, the ropes.

"Alice?" I called out.

But she wasn't there. Fear swept over me like a cold wind and my suddenly
frazzled mind couldn't piece together a single reason why she wouldn't be here.
Alice never let me wake up alone. Even if she left my side in the night to
clean up or visit her sisters, she was always here when I woke up, watching my
face, smiling.

It didn't make sense. She should be here. Today of all days, she should be
here. After what happened last night, how could she not be here? I let her tie
me up, cut me, torture me, tease me. I proposed to her. We were engaged. Last
night was the greatest night of our lives – and she's not here?

With so much venom in my system it was difficult to cope even when we agreed to
part ways briefly, but this felt like outright abandonment. I swung my legs
over the side of the bed, wincing, and I was about to get up, but then I saw
them. Saw the cuts. My white skin was covered with thin red lines and I looked
at them for a moment, a strange feeling passing over me, something between
pride and anxiety. I remembered how much Alice had liked it, how she'd chosen
her spots so carefully, watching my face as the blade bit into the skin. The
pain had been exquisite and no matter how far she went I was always willing to
go further. Because I trusted her. Because I loved her. Whatever she wanted, I
wanted it too. Last night we had come together in a way that I never would've
thought possible. Two people, one desire. As twisted as it was, last night
might've been the first time we had truly made love.

And now I was waking up alone.

It didn't seem fair after everything I went through, but I pushed away the
resentment and rose to my feet, wincing again, holding my stomach. I lifted my
top again. The reopened wound wasn't bleeding much, but it would probably need
stitches. They probably all would. Those last stab wounds were deeper than all
the others, true testaments to my trust and her restraint. I didn't even know
how many there were and I didn't count them. I smoothed my top back down,
wincing as I pressed my hand to the bleeding wound, and then I staggered to the
bedroom door.

I had no idea where she would be, but I planned to ask the first person I
bumped into, and if no one could direct me to her, I wasn't above calling the
police and organizing a search party. I went down the stairs, half staggering,
gripping the banister for balance. I was woozy from last night's bloodloss, my
limbs were stiff and painful, my wrists and ankles were yellowed with bruises,
and my shoulder muscles were burning from having my arms tied behind my back
for so long – but none of that hurt as much as my ass. The beads had been
particularly huge, but I was still somewhat virginal back there.

The kitchen was generally the busiest room in the house—despite the fact that
vampires don't have to eat—so I decided to check there first. I came shuffling
over the floor in my bare feet, watching my step so I didn't stumble, and when
I lifted my head I saw the exact person I was looking for.

Alice.

She was sitting at the counter on one of the stools, dressed adorably in a jean
and a pink tee, and my waves of relief and love washed over me at the sight of
her. I wasn't a fretful girl by nature, but I had to admit I was glad she
hadn't met with some terrible accident in my absence.

Standing on the other side of the counter was Esme. They were both drinking
coffee out of mugs, and they appeared to have been a in serious conversation.
But they were looking at me. Esme gave a soft gasp as she looked at my damaged
legs, my arms, the bloodstain in my top. I realized I probably should've put
some pants on, but I'd been too worried about Alice. Besides, it's not like the
whole family hadn't seen me naked before.

Alice fixed her face into a smile and hopped off the stool. "Hey, baby," she
said, coming forward to hug me gently. "Sorry, I didn't think you'd be up so
early. Are you okay?"

I nodded, more relief flooding through me. It made me feel better that she'd
planned on being there when I woke up. She must've gotten carried away with her
conversation Esme. And what exactly were they talking about?

I looked at the momma-vamp, but she had concealed her shock at my shattered
body by now, and she smiled. A brittle smile, edged with jealousy and
disapproval, but a smile nonetheless.

"Well, I hear congratulations are in order," she said. "Was she surprised?"

Alice had moved my hand to examine my stomach. I glanced at her and back at my
future mother-in-law.

"I think so," I said.

Alice had been looking at the reopened wound in concern, but she noticed the
need for reassurance in my voice, and suddenly she grinned excitedly, putting
down my top. "Of course I was surprised, I was ecstatic," she said. "Wasn't I,
baby?"

I giggled, feeling a quick burst of happiness, even though I was sure she was
hiding something. She responded to my delight with a quick kiss on my lips. I'd
touched her arm as she kissed me and when she pulled back there was a red
smudge on her skin from my bloody fingers. The sight of it deflated my
happiness a little.

Esme was frowning, but still trying to maintain a veneer of cheerfulness.
"Alice, I think you should take Bella back to her room," she said. "I'll send
Carlisle to take a look at her. She needs treatment, she can't just…"

But she trailed off as she realized she was supposed to be happy for us. Alice
glanced at her, her smile only slipping slightly, and turned back to me.

"Yeah, I probably should," she said. Then she took my arm and quirked her
smile, putting a bit of impish in it. "Come on, baby. We'll get you all
stitched up and then we'll tear you up again, okay?"

The switch from serious concern to cavalier flirtyness was a little abrupt—and
not necessarily genuine—but it made me smile. My biggest anxiety was that she
was having second thoughts about last night, and it made me feel better that
she could flirt about it.

I still had a niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach, but that could wait. I
had no idea what she had been talking about with the woman who was almost a
mother to her, but I knew they hadn't been celebrating our engagement.
Something was bothering her, something serious to keep her away from my side as
I slept. But no matter what it was, I was confident it would be okay in the
end. Last night I had learnt exactly how much I liked making Alice happy. All
she had to do was mention what she wanted and I'd do anything to give it to
her.

Her happiness is my happiness.

—

The bruises were gone by the end of the week, and some of the smaller cuts
closed up. The doctor had given me a transfusion that morning, just to be safe,
and for a few days I had to wear bandages around my torso and around my right
thigh. The stitches came out over the weekend.

Of course, none of this stopped Alice from fucking me every chance she got. We
were newly engaged, after all, and even when we weren't it had been difficult
for us to keep our hands off each other. Things were a little awkward to begin
with, but we'd soon loosened up. That night had been awesome for both of us,
but neither of us had been fully prepared for how damaged I'd be in the
morning. I was completely cool, but Alice seemed to struggle with it. I didn't
think it was even such a big deal. My girlfriend likes to cut me and drink my
blood – so? The chick's a vampire, give her a break.

But my adorably psychotic girlfriend didn't see it that way, and the more I
thought about it, the more I began to see it from her point of view. In a weird
way, the whole thing was probably easier for me to handle, despite the pain and
the inconvenience of being unable to sit on a solid surface for a whole day
because my ass hurt so much. Because even if Alice did enjoy it—which she
certainly did—she was also aware that such things were wrong, and kind of,
well, twisted. I wanted to assure her that it was a perfectly natural form love
making between a demon and a willing victim, but somehow I didn't think that
would help.

It wasn't only that, anyway. Alice always had this conflict. Half of her
warring to protect and treasure me, the other half desperate to break me in
half and drink my blood. When we first met, she'd been gentle and respectful –
until she crawled through my bedroom window and fucked me bad enough to send me
to the emergency room the next morning. The rest of our relationship was the
same way. Alice would try to be as caring and protective as possible only to
fail over and over again. That's why it was time to stop pretending. Alice
can't change who she is and I don't want her to change. I want her to love me
exactly how she wants to.

But at the same time, I could understand how she felt. If I was her, I'd
probably be struggling with these urges too. It had been far easier than I
expected to lay there while she cut her love into me with knife, but what if
she had asked me to do it to her? Would I be able to do it? I'd like to think I
could do anything for her, but I'm not sure if I could. In fact, I was pretty
positive I couldn't. No way. Maybe I'd feel differently when I was a vampire,
but for now there was no way I would ever touch her beautiful skin with a
knife. I'd promised myself that I do anything to make her happy, but a girl's
gotta draw a line somewhere. Alice can do whatever she wants to me, but there
was no was I was going to do anything to her but love her.

And love her I did. In the days following our engagement, we kept our bed to
ourselves, and the other's seemed to understand. We hadn't made any
announcement, but everyone knew besides Victoria and Rosalie. Those two were
still a little detached from the rest of the coven. Alice and I talked about
how we were going to break it to them, and eventually we decided to take them
to a nice hotel, make the announcement over dinner, and then fuck them upstairs
to kind of take the sting off.

Alice was mostly worried about Rosalie. Rosalie had always identified as
Alice's true wife, partner, mate. But now she was going to be officially
relegated to the role of fuck-buddy. Neither of knew us how she was going to
handle it, but it seemed a little unrealistic to expect her to be happy for us.

Me, I was mostly worried about Victoria. Alice was still clueless about
Victoria's darker attempts to win her back, and I'd been getting weird vibes
from the woman for a while now. On the surface she was disinterested, even
vaguely supportive of our relationship – but at the same time she was too
bitter, too sullen, too sardonic to be completely okay with it. I got the
impression that she was scheming behind her smiles, waiting for an opportunity
to strike. I couldn't imagine her actually letting us live happily after, but—

But that didn't matter anymore, did it? Because Alice and I didn't want to live
happily ever after anymore. At least, I didn't. I was sure of that now. I'd
been worried that maybe I was getting carried away in the moment, that maybe
I'd feel differently in the morning. But I didn't. In the morning and in the
days to come my resolve only became stronger. It was really the only thing to
do. Alice was six hundred years old and at the end of her frayed rope of sanity
– she needed me to do this, even if she didn't realize.

So far we hadn't talked about it, but I could sense her reluctance to admit the
truth. My reaction at prom must've been so bad that she had developed a slight
phobia on the subject. She was very vocal about how excited she was to be
married and move in together and how happy we were going to be – but she never
mentioned the alternative. She was pretending I'd never said anything, probably
because she figured I was regretting it. But I didn't regret it, and her regard
for my life only made me want it more and more.

In addition to all this, she also put a quick halt to any bedroom freakiness.
Possibly she was reluctant to aggravate my injuries, but at times she did seem
disappointingly gentle. After that night with the knife I was ready to explore
all her deepest and darkest desires – and suddenly she was afraid to even use a
strap-on. I wasn't confident enough to outright put the knife into her hand
again, but I did make it a point to assure her that I'd do anything she wanted.
But she'd only giggle and kiss me and make love to me with nothing more
sinister than a finger in my butt.

It was good, just not what I was expecting. I'd thought we broken down a wall,
opened the flood gates, burst a dam and let it all come crashing out. But
instead she was acting like it never happened. It was kind of disappointing,
too. It hadn't been easy for me to let her do that all stuff – well, it wasn't
easy to begin with. Once we'd gotten started it had been pretty easy. Craziest
night of my life, and I'd had some crazy nights. But she was treating it as if
it was just something special we did, just a one time thing. She didn't
understand that I didn't only want to please her for one night, I wanted to
please her all nights – forever. In life and death. She didn't understand, and
I was too insecure to make her understand, because beyond all this was one
silly fear:

What if she's not into it?

I mean, was it possible? Alice was a tricky girl to read, but I didn't think
there was much room for error on this subject. Unless I was seriously
misinterpreting her desire to stab my tits and make me scream, it seemed
logical to assume that something along the lines of sexualized murder would
tickle her fancy just nicely. I could be wrong, of course. Alice had often
tried hard to make our relationship stable and normal – and she'd screwed it up
every step of the way. And why? Because she was a vampire. She was evil, for
lack of a better word. Cute, with an amazingly sexy ass – but evil. As much as
she loved me, she wanted to kill me, slay me, ravish me to death – and no
amount of pretending was going to change that.

In any case, death in each other's arms would be a neat little end to our
tumultuous courtship, and the neatness appealed to me. I wasn't scared to die,
which was kind of ironic. Back in Forks, I had a loving mom, a passionate
girlfriend, and even a ton of friends – yet I still would've said my life
sucked. Now all those things were gone and my immediate future appeared to
terminate darkly in the demonic throes of a pretty young vampiress who liked to
call herself my soulmate – and frankly I felt my life was better than it had
ever been.

For the first time in my life I felt that I had purpose. I felt that I was here
for a reason. I felt like I had been born exactly for these moments, to make
Alice happy, to make Alice's dreams come true. Maybe I was simply a disturbed
teenager who was even more fucked up then her lunatic girlfriend – but I truly
felt like I existed for no other reason than to make Alice happy.

The only problem was convincing her of that.

It was a surprisingly difficult subject to talk about, at least at first. I was
shy about coming off as crazy, so I couldn't just blurt out that I was so
totally in love with her that I'd, like, die for her. It had been hard enough
to tell her that night, when I was all trippy from blood loss and giddy from
the proposal. But now it was impossible, not during the day and certainly not
after a tender night of love making. I knew I had nothing to worry about, that
she was definitely into it – but what if she wasn't? It was impossible,
completely ridiculous – but what if?

It was the insecurity that kept me silent. It was a difficult topic to segue
into, and it would probably require the right mood before we could really
discuss it. Some time before our wedding night would be ideal, but I was
willing to wait and let the idea brood in Alice's mind. It had been brooding in
mine for quite a while and proven itself strangely seductive – maybe it would
be the same for Alice.

It just seemed like a really perfect way to conclude our love, that's all.
Surely she saw that. I mean, it had been her idea originally. She wouldn't have
changed her mind. Why would she?

I didn't know, but it niggled at me. At the very least she was enthusiastic
about the engagement, although not quite as enthusiastic about making the
announcement to Rosalie and Victoria. Neither was I, but that was another
reason to consider death – we wouldn't have to deal with the blonde and the
redhead anymore. The group-sex was fine—they were still incredibly hot—but I
could do without whatever revenge the redhead in her scorn might be planning in
that big beautiful head of hers.

But hopefully the announcement itself would go smoothly. Alice had made
reservations at a beautiful five-star hotel, La Maison Favart. We were meeting
our companions downstairs but Alice and I got there early, so we could fix up
the room with some candles and a selection of toys. We talked about it as she
got dressed, and we were surprisingly casual about the whole affair. We
approached it with the attitude of a chore or a good deed, something not
completely unpleasant, but not really desirable either, like visiting family
you don't really care about. Alice was in a pouty mood and she complained as
she did my makeup that I was so beautiful and it was so unfair she had to share
me. I mirrored the sentiment, staring into her pretty face with my slavish
smile.

But, basically, we were both more or less okay with the idea of throwing her
former lovers a bone. Alice's feelings for them were getting very dim, but they
were still there, and most of all we wanted the engagement and the wedding to
go as smoothly as possible. The engagement had changed things and greatly
deadened our desire for other women, but we still had obligations to the coven,
or more specifically to the blonde and the redhead. The bond between the three
of them wasn't going away overnight, or in a year, or even ten years. It was
going to take a long time before they truly gave up on Alice – that is,
assuming Alice and I were even alive long enough to see it happen.

By the time we got downstairs Victoria and Rosalie were already seated at the
table, resplendent in their evening gowns. Rosalie rose with a smile as we
approached and greeted Alice with kisses on each cheek. Victoria didn't. She
remained seated, somewhat slouched, legs crossed. She ran her eyes over me and
smirked at my dress. My wounds were healed by now and I did look very nice. I
gave her a quick nod as a greeting, trying not to blush, but her only response
was to turn away thoughtfully, still smirking her darkred smirk.

Soon we were seated and dinner was served. Victoria looked down at her steaming
plate as if it was some daunting task and she heaved a sigh.

"Oh, how I long for the day when you finally turn your precious soulmate,
Alice," she said. "How many more dinner dates must we endure for the sake of
her appetite? I haven't consumed so much human food in decades. Tell me
honestly, Miss Swan; am I gaining weight?"

Vampire's didn't gain weight, so obviously the remark was calculated to direct
my gaze at her body. It worked. Her cleavage was bulging as it always was and I
gave a little shrug.

"Only in the chest," I said.

The reply pleased her, and she played her part by smirking and waving the
comment away. "Nonsense," she said. "Those are my best features."

I knew she was only flirting with me to scorn the other two women at the table,
but I felt a tiny flicker, nonetheless. I had an odd respect for the redhead,
despite our conflicts in the past, and it was difficult not to admire the
complete and total confidence with which she carried herself.

Rosalie gave me a cold look and even Alice glanced at me. Funny how sex can
sometimes be less awkward than dinner. Alice turned back to Victoria and fixed
her face into a pleasant smile.

"Actually," she said, "tonight's a special occasion."

Victoria feigned surprise. "Is it? I hadn't noticed."

Alice wasn't put off by the dry tone. She smiled at me, reached across the
table, and clasped my hand. I resisted the urge to cringe; we both knew neither
of them were going to be happy for us. Why pretend? But my fiancé liked playing
her roles and with a smile she said:

"Bella and I have an announcement to make."

"Don't tell me," Victoria said dryly. "You're pregnant."

Obviously, the redhead didn't care. Rosalie, on the other hand, had
straightened in her chair. She was staring at our clasped hands and she must've
known what the announcement would be. There was a diamond ring on Alice's
finger that hadn't been there before, and Alice's tone was very telling. Yet
even so, she said:

"What announcement?"

Alice caressed my hand. I made an effort to smile.

"Actually," she said, turning to her former lovers. "Bella and I are engaged.
We're getting married."

Silence.

Complete silence, aside from the din of conversation and the classical music in
the background. Alice had said it as if she expected them to congratulate us,
but that had never been their style. Victoria glanced at Rosalie, as if her
first thought was the blonde's feelings. Rosalie was looking at Alice. Suddenly
I realized that maybe we could've handled this better. An announcement over
dinner had seemed logical enough a few hours ago, but right now it seemed kind
of cruel. Maybe it would've been more merciful to take her aside and break it
to her gently.

In any case, it was out there, and there was nothing to do but wait for a
reaction. The classical music continued and Victoria turned to me. She looked
largely unimpressed and mildly put out at the same time, as if she didn't care
about the announcement itself but thought our timing could've been better.
Alice could see that we weren't about to be showered with congratulations and
well-wishes, so she let go of my hand and let her own fall to her lap. She was
disappointed—although this was exactly what we had expected—and she snorted, a
touch bitterly.

"So," she said. "I guess no one's gonna make a toast, then?"

No one did. Rosalie turned her cold eyes on me for a second, and I almost
flinched. She looked at me as if she hated me more than anything she'd ever
hated in her life, and then she turned back to Alice with tears of betrayal
speckling her eyes. She glared at the girl who used be her soulmate, and then
she rose from the table, threw down her napkin, and stormed off. It was a
little theatric, perhaps, but better than smashing the wine bottle and
attacking me with the jagged end.

"Rosalie, don't—"

But the blonde was gone, weaving her way among the tables through the dinning
room. I saw her lift a hand to her face and I suspected she was crying.

Alice pushed back her chair hastily. "I'd better…"

I nodded. We'd been through scenes like this before, plenty of them. The blonde
would pitch a hissy that Alice didn't love her anymore and Alice would go
convince her that she still did. But one of these days the blonde was going to
realize the truth; that Alice truly didn't love her anymore.

Alice loved me.

So I watched her rise from the table and chase after her blonde ex with no
jealousy or anything like that. Just a vague sadness that Alice had such a
terrible habit of destroying relationships. In the end, I guess it didn't
matter how much you loved Alice. It only mattered if she loved you. Victoria
had watched them leave too and now I heard her sigh.

"Silly girls," she said. "I'll never understand why they are so desperate to
cling to the scraps of their ruined relationship. Rosalie in particular. I had
thought her stronger than this."

I thought she had a lot of balls for a woman who had resorted to tactics like
rape and abduction in her attempts to win Alice back, and I couldn't help
saying something.

"Isn't that what you were doing?" I said. "Clinging?"

She snorted, still looking off in the direction where Alice and Rosalie had
disappeared. "Hardly," she said. "My issue with Alice was right of possession.
I certainly never pined over her like some lovestruck twit."

She was slouched in her chair with an arm draped carelessly on the table and
she couldn't entirely conceal the sullenness in her voice. She looked almost as
if she was pining now and I was surprised by how sexy it looked on her. I think
I preferred a sullen and slouched redhead to the vibrant seductress who'd never
experienced rejection.

But then I reminded myself that a sullen redhead was a dangerous redhead, and
the last thing I needed to do was let down my guard. She said herself that it
was all about possession for her and I remembered back in Forks that she'd once
said she'd rather see Alice dead than in the arms of another. Alice was the
crazy one, but Victoria was still a sociopath, and it was still entirely
possible that Alice and I might not even make it to our wedding night if we
weren't careful.

Finally the redhead sighed and turned back to me. She smiled, but she didn't
put much of en effort into it. "In any case, I suppose you're to be
congratulated," she said, then smirked. "Or perhaps I should offer my
condolences. Alice's love can be rather curse-like, even despite her best
intentions."

I frowned, almost a pout. I was well-aware of the curse-like nature of Alice's
love. It had scarred me, literally and figuratively. It had torn me away from
my mother and girlfriend, it had been inscribed into my very flesh with a
knife, it was likely to kill me on my wedding night. Alice was a soul-sucking
demon – but you know what? I didn't care. Because her ass was still the cutest
thing I'd ever seen in my life, and if that ass was cursed, then by god
consider me dammed. I couldn't ever regret loving it and I was never letting go
of it.

Victoria smirked, sensing my stubbornness. She sipped her wine and sighed once
more.

"Well," she said. "May I see the ring?"

I looked at my hand as if to check if it was there and then back at her. "Alice
is wearing it."

"You proposed?"

"Yeah."

"And I'm sure Alice was thoroughly delighted at your initiative, wasn't she?"

"Of course," I said. "Why?"

She chuckled softly to herself, shaking her head. "Oh, no reason," she said.
"It just seems rather ridiculous, that's all. Further evidence of her warped
expectations. She wants you to be something you're not. First a soulmate. Now a
groom. What next?"

I frowned, not seeing her point. Well, I did see her point—I'd often thought
the exact same thing—but I wasn't going to admit it. "She wants me to make her
happy," I said. "Isn't that true of every partner?"

"Perhaps," she said, "but wouldn't you agree that the requirements of Alice's
happiness are a tad more unreasonable than most lovers?"

I softened a little. Since the redhead was being so rational, I thought I could
too. "Maybe," I admitted. "But maybe that's why it's taken her so long to find
someone. Alice isn't perfect, but she's perfect to me. Actually, I don't think
she's unreasonable at all. I think she deserves everything she wants."

Most of the speech had occurred to me as I was saying it and it felt impressive
– but the redhead didn't seem to agree. She smirked brightly, as if she'd
rather not hurt my feelings with a full-blown grin. "How lovely," she said.
"You have a singular capacity for love, Miss Swan. Like a dim-witted puppy."

Honestly, I was flattered at the comparison, but I wasn't going to say that. So
I smirked back and gave a little shrug. "You're kind of a dog, too."

She had been sipping her wine and she actually choked a little giggle. She
dabbed at the corners of her mouth with a napkin and smiled. "Touché," she
said.

It hadn't been much of a come back, but I think she was amused at the attempt.
I should've dropped it at that, but it made me feel cool to make her laugh, so
I added: "Can you guess which kind of dog?"

She looked at me for a moment, as if to evaluate if she should respond, and
then she smiled. "A bitch, naturally."

I grinned. It must've been difficult for her. She could've easily been a real
bitch and put me in my place with something scathing, but instead she chose to
allow me a small victory. The thought almost made me glow – maybe she really
did like me.

But of course, the small moment of friendliness segued into an awkward silence
where neither of us knew what to say next. We were supposed to hate each other,
but somehow neither of us did. And we couldn't exactly comment on dinner, since
neither of us had even reached for a fork. We might've sat there in silence
until Alice and Rosalie returned if my phone didn't buzz.

It was laying on the table. I picked it up and checked the text:

Rosalie wants to go upstairs with me…is that okay?

My good mood faulted slightly and without really thinking about it I punched in
a reply:

ok

After all, what else could I say? Vampires were strange creatures. Sex seemed
to be one of their primary means of expression, and the blonde could be so
temperamental sometimes. I didn't know how Alice felt about throwing Rosalie a
quick fuck to make her feel better, but it didn't really sit right with me. I
was cool with casual orgies, but I didn't like the idea of my fiancé making
love to any woman other than me. The only thing that made me feel better was
the confidence that Alice felt the same way I did.

The phone buzzed again:

Thanks, baby. You and Vicky come up after dinner, k?

Luv U.

I smiled and thumbed in the reply:

love you too

Across the table, Victoria was waiting for an explanation. But I think she
already knew. It wasn't the first time that Alice and Rosalie had required time
alone, and for a second I almost felt sorry for her. Her relationships were
unraveling right before her eyes and she wouldn't allow herself to care. I
sighed and put the phone down.

"Alice and Rosalie are going up to the room," I said. "Alice said for us to
come up after we eat."

She didn't seem surprised. "How wonderful," she said, her voice dripping
sarcasm. "Does it seem to you, Miss Swan, that our lovers are taking us just a
little for granted with their constant need to be alone? Or am I being silly?"

"I don't know," I said. "You're the one who's been sleeping with them for a
hundred years. Is this normal?"

"Not at all. I allowed them all the time together they needed, but they never
seemed to require it as they require it now." But by now she became aware that
she appeared to be pining, and she quickly rearranged her composure, heaving a
nonchalant sigh and reaching for her wine glass. "I only feel sorry for
Rosalie," she said. "She'll never be satisfied with the lesser portion of
Alice's heart."

And you, I wanted to ask. Would the redhead herself ever be satisfied without
holding Alice's heart in her hand like a trophy?

But I didn't ask. I was afraid of the answer, because I knew. The redhead would
never be satisfied. She was going through a period of depression right now, but
the depression wasn't going to last forever, and one day she was going to wake
up and realize that she was never going to get over Alice. Alice would either
have to be reclaimed or punished for her betrayal – but one way or another,
Victoria would never simply let her go.

The silence was broken by the redhead heaving another sigh. She didn't seemed
to have much enthusiasm for my company anymore, but she made an effort to smile
at me.

"In any case," she said, "it seems we're stuck with each other for an hour or
two. Why don't you tell me how you proposed. Was it romantic?"

"I'm not sure."

"Oh?"

I shrugged. She obviously didn't care, and how was I supposed to know if it was
romantic or not. I had planned it to be romantic, but to be honest, I hadn't
intended to go that far with the knife. I thought maybe a couple knicks, a
couple licks. Just for fun. Alice had warned me that she can get carried away,
but I guess we both did. In hindsight, maybe it would've been better to defer
the proposal to a less intense evening. Now every time I remember slipping the
ring on her finger I was going to remember the pain, the torture, the darkness
in her eyes as she bent over my body with a knife and a need. It had been hot,
yeah, but romantic? Um, maybe not.

I hadn't replied, but the redhead seemed determined to keep some kind of flow
in the conversation. "Well, it couldn't have been that bad," she prompted. "She
said yes, didn't she?"

"Yeah," I said. "I just think I might've spoiled it a little."

"How?"

"I'm not sure."

This time she outright rolled her eyes, making no attempt to conceal her
growing boredom. "Yes, well, this is all very interesting, isn't it? Most women
would be dying to elaborate on their engagement story. Was it really so awful
that you must sit there boring me with your rhetorical insecurities?"

"Sorry," I said with a reluctant shrug. "I just…"

"Yes?"

I looked at her. She still obviously didn't care, but I guess talking was
better than silence, so I shrugged again and said: "I did it that night."

"Which night?"

"When I let Alice use a knife."

A hot blush consumed my face as I said it. There was no reason to be coy since
they all knew, but I'd never mentioned it out loud before, not even to Alice. I
was still slightly embarrassed that I actually liked that kind of thing.

Victoria seemed taken aback as well. She had seen the cuts and bruises on my
body like everyone else had, but none of them had ever asked how I got them.
Victoria would've known better than anyone, and yet she seemed surprised now to
have it confirmed.

"Is that so?" she said.

I nodded. "Yeah," I said. "I don't know, I'm thinking maybe it was a mistake. I
mean, I loved it, and Alice was incredible, but…"

"But?"

"I'm just not sure if it was right to propose right after. Alice was really
happy and everything, but part of me thinks she might've preferred something a
little more…normal."

Victoria didn't reply. I looked away, still blushing, and smiled wistfully as I
remembered all the things Alice had done to me. The helplessness, the
vulnerability, the devotion that swelled in my chest as I let her do anything
she wanted.

"It was amazing," I whispered. "I've never seen her like that before."

Victoria snorted. "Of course you haven't," she said. "She's been desperate to
keep that side of herself as suppressed as possible, hasn't she?"

I looked up. "I know," I said, "but she doesn't have to anymore. That's the
point. I don't want her to hide who she is. I love her. I'm not gonna dump her
because she's got a darkside. I mean, she's a vampire. I never expected her to
be normal. And I definitely don't want her to fake what she wants from me."

Victoria cocked her head and looked at me across the table. Her expression made
me anxious. It was part curiosity, part pity. Part scorn. She smiled and
chuckled once.

"Alice is never fake," she said. "She's always perfectly sincere, even when she
lies. Especially when she lies. Haven't you learnt that by now? Between the lie
and the reality, she will always choose the lie. It's the reason she loves you.
Do you think you're truly her soulmate? Think again. You yourself are little
more than a lie in Alice's mind."

I frowned. I'd heard all this before and rejected it, but this time she was
echoing my own thoughts. I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I asked
anyway.

"What do you mean?"

Victoria set down her wine glass and leaned forward on the table. Her cleavage
bulged in the neckline of her dress and it did distract me for a second before
I lifted my eyes to hers. She smiled.

"Everybody has a darkside," she said. "Some fight against it…others are
consumed by it. I'll leave you to determine Alice's own feelings on the
subject."

But I knew Alice's feelings; they had been carved directly into my body. So I
just tossed my chin and said: "What about your darkside?"

She leaned back in her chair and smiled. "Me? I embrace it. And you, Miss Swan?
How will you handle your own darkside?"

I shrugged. "However Alice wants me to."

She chuckled and took up her wine glass. "So, you're back to letting Alice make
your decisions for you, are you? Pity. For a while there, I actually thought
you were growing up."

I frowned. I thought I had been doing great with Alice lately, giving her
everything she wanted – yet here was my archenemy giving me relationship
advice. Was she trying to sabotage me somehow? Or was she legitimately
suggesting that I was doing the wrong thing?

Victoria drained the last of her wine and set the glass down. Neither of us had
touched our food and she suddenly seemed completely bored with the evening.

"Well," she said. "Are you done eating?"

"Yeah, I guess."

She rose from the table and began to sort some money from her purse. "Then I
suggest you follow your soulmate upstairs," she said. "I'm leaving. Tell Alice
I have better things to do with my evening than wait upon the privilege of her
company."

I tried to ignore the bad feeling that swept over me. The redhead was drifting
further and further away. That was supposed to be a good thing, but I really
didn't want to think about what would happen if her love truly turned to
resentment.

"What about Rosalie?" I asked.

"Tell her whatever you wish," she said. "She's obviously decided who she
prefers being with."

She snapped the purse closed and sighed. She looked out across the dinning room
were every table was taken by couples or groups, all smiling and talking. The
scene seem to sadden her.

"I remember staying in this exact hotel over two hundred years ago," she said.
"With Alice, and later with Alice and Rosalie. Now with you as well. Much has
changed. I hardly remember how it used to be. I've watched the world go from
the horse and buggy to airplanes and atomic bombs, yet none of it seems to have
changed as much as our darling Alice."

I didn't know what to say. Finally she sighed and smiled down at me.

"To be dreadfully honest," she said, "I have to admit that I wish I'd never
bought you back to her. I thought we could all coexist quite happily together,
but I see now the true extent of Alice's selfishness. I thought I could break
her, but how can you break a girl who's already broken? I suppose I never quite
figured it out. No, it's too late for her. Things would've been better if you
remained in Forks. Alice would be dead, Rosalie and I would move on, and you'd
be well on your way to living happily ever after with that charming little
girlfriend of yours. What was her name again?"

My heart gave a strange flutter. "Lauren," I said.

Victoria smiled. She could hear the thickness in my voice and she knew she'd
touched on a nerve. "Lauren, yes," she said. "She was quite attractive, really.
And bold. I still remember how she talked back to me when I came to abduct you.
Not many leave that kind of impression on me. I was distracted with concern for
Alice at the time, but under other circumstances, I would've been delighted to
make an attempt at her. Do you miss her at all?"

I looked away. I was pretty sure I didn't, but now, with the question directly
put to me – I didn't know. At this point I was almost completely detached from
my life in Forks. It didn't even seem like my life anymore. Mom seemed like
someone else's mom and Lauren seemed like someone else's girlfriend. I'd broken
away from them almost instantly the moment I was reunited with Alice. But now…

I don't know. Sometimes I did think about her. I mean, she was the only real
girlfriend I had. The true girl of my dreams. Rough, tough, blonde, so blonde.
Such a beautiful shade of platinum. And then she tatted up and got her hair
streaked. She looked so bad ass. I used to dream about touching her hair,
feeling how soft and silky it was. I never dreamt about lies and bondage and
dying in someone else's arms. I'd dreamt about hanging out. Sharing a
milkshake. Going to the movies. Alice had given me those things in the
beginning, but she couldn't repress her darkness forever. Lauren was the dream;
Alice was the nightmare.

Sometimes I wondered if Lauren and I really would've made it. Highschool
relationship's never work out, but the fact that we were actually going to try
was pretty impressive. Same college, plans to live together, get married one
day, have a family. Would she have been happy with me? She seemed to love me,
but I'd never been certain. We'd been secretly crushing on each other since
middleschool, but she'd been so afraid of liking girls, so ashamed of admitting
she's a lesbian. It was so awesome when we finally hooked up. That first kiss
in the rain, our first time having sex after she had that fight with her
mother. It was sad, really. It could've been really perfect.

Victoria was looking down at me, waiting for an answer. I'd zoned out for a
second, but now I shrugged and shook my head a little, not letting on that part
of me did miss Lauren.

"Not really," I said.

Victoria smirked and arranged her handbag on her arm. "Sad," she said. "I'm
sure she misses you. Observe Rosalie and I, Miss Swan. Observe the rest of the
coven. Alice tricked us all with dreams of love and soulmates, and now it is
two late for us. But you…you still have a chance to escape. And someone waiting
for you at home. Think about that. You could leave Alice at any moment if you
wish. You owe her nothing."

An odd excitement thickened her voice toward the end of her speech, and it
worried me. She knew that if I left Alice, Alice would die. Is that what she
wanted?

"I'm happy with Alice," I said quietly.

She narrowed her eyes, as if displeased I didn't automatically agree. "Happy
living a lie?" she questioned. "Happy with broken promises? Happy with an empty
shell of a girl who knows only how to pretend to love and stops again at her
convenience? Alice loves you now, but she won't forever. Hear me. I've told all
this to you before and you turned a deaf ear to me. Yet surely by now you
understand. Alice will destroy you. Is that what you want?"

The understated fierceness in her voice actually scared me a little. I didn't
want to provoke her, but I nodded timidly. "Yes," I said. "That's what I want."

This bought her up short. She looked at me for a moment, and then straightened
her back and relaxed her shoulders, regaining her composure. "Then there's no
hope for you," she said. "A shame. I've developed a strange fondness for you,
Miss Swan, and I would've liked to see you save yourself. Nevertheless, think
about what I've said here tonight. Alice is a whore with a whore's heart. I
returned you to her side and I can take you away again. You only need ask."

I didn't answer. She spared me one last smile and then she turned and sailed
away. Her words had left a very disturbing impression on me, but then I looked
at how her hips rolled under the fabric of her dress, and deep thought seem to
fail me.

What did she know anyway? Most of the bad stuff with Alice had been Victoria's
fault. If she'd simply just let Alice be Alice, then none of this would've
happened. Our relationship would've progressed slowly and without cheating,
dumping, getting back together again. It was the redhead who'd pushed us to the
edge at prom and forced Alice to reveal her intentions before I was ready to
accept them. If things had only gone slower we could've reached this point
naturally, without all the drama. If only the redhead and the blonde never
existed. And Jane and Leah and Esme and Carlisle. And Lauren and mom. If only
none of them had ever existed everything would be perfect. All I needed was
Alice.

I sighed and decided to feed my sullenness by grabbing up Alice's wine glass
and gulping it. Then I tipped the contents of Rosalie's into the empty glass
and gulped that too. I probably looked dumped or stood up, sitting all alone at
the empty table in my evening dress. And basically I was. My fiancé was
upstairs having sex with her ex and in a minute I was going to join them –
maybe my life still did kind of suck.

Stupid Victoria. Why did she have to say all that stuff? I'd never leave Alice,
of course—never even think about it—but the redhead's words did rattle me up a
little. Because deep down I knew most of it was true. Alice's love was a lie
and it wasn't going to last forever. One day I was going to be just like the
redhead or the blonde, pining after Alice as Alice moved on to her next
soulmate. It might take her a century or two to get sick of me, but she would
eventually. Unless she died first. Unless we died together.

There was no use denying it anymore. It wasn't about Alice, it was about me. It
was the right thing to do, the only thing to do. It was what I wanted and I was
going to have to make Alice see that. I had no idea why she was so shy to even
talk about it, but that didn't change the fact that it was the only sensible
thing to do. All this tension and uncertainty had gone on long enough. Alice
wanted me, and this was what I had to offer. I didn't want to end up as another
frustrated sister-wife in her little harem – I wanted to be the One.

And why did Victoria have to mention Lauren, anyway? How random was that? It
had been easy not to think about Lauren all this time because I had no
reminders. I didn't see her at school everyday, I had no mementoes, no
pictures, no old texts. But now I couldn't help thinking about her. Did she
miss me? The thought made me uncomfortable. She probably did, but it had been
almost three months since I disappeared from Forks. Would she be over me by
now? Probably. She'd be at college in Seattle. She would've met another girl by
now. Or maybe she had backed out of the whole lesbian thing and went back to
being straight and miserable. Wouldn't surprise me. She'd only had the courage
to come out because of me. Now I was gone.

I sighed again and grabbed my phone off the table. All this thinking was
useless so I decided that I might as well go upstairs. I opened the phone and
went to punch in a text—to let them know I was on my way in case they'd rather
not get caught in the middle of something—but then I stopped. An idea struck
me, and I guess my mood was sullen enough to go through with it. All this talk
about Lauren had made me nostalgic, and even though I'd never be cruel enough
to call her, I thought I might as well check out her facebook page.

I was surprised as soon as it loaded. It was the same as I remembered it.
Exactly the same. Same posts, same photos. Two pictures of the two of us
together, one picture of both of us with Angela, two pictures of me by myself
with captions that claimed I was her girlfriend. She hadn't changed anything.

I could feel my throat tighten as I stared at the pictures, but my face
remained stony as I tried to repress the warm feeling of nostalgia that rolled
over me. It really hadn't been that long ago, but it felt like years. Why
hadn't she altered anything or at least taken my pictures down? Lauren had
never been a huge fan of facebook, but she had at least kept it updated. Had
she been so devastated by my removal from her life that she'd abandoned her
entire facebook page?

My brows slowly drew together and I sighed, staring at the picture of the two
of us together. It was sad how happy we looked. It was even sadder that I
remembered the picture. Angela had taken it for us when we went dress shopping
for prom. Lauren had her arms around me from behind and she was kissing my
cheek. I was simply blushing. The expression on my face made my eyes water. I
could remember that exact sensation of Lauren's lips. It had always been
different from Alice. Hard to believe only a few weeks after the picture was
taken I was going to be abducted and literally fed to my ex-girlfriend. Did
Lauren think I'd left her? Did she think—

"Is zere something wrong, mademoiselle?"

I jumped and almost dropped the phone. A waiter in a red jacket had
materialized at my elbow and spoke in a thick French accent. For a second I
actually thought he was asking if I was okay, but then I realized he was
talking about the untouched plates of food that dotted the table. I wasn't used
to dealing with waiters—especially at a place like this—so I just shook my head
and put my phone away.

"Um, no," I said, rising from the table awkwardly. "Everything's fine, I was
just…"

And then I walked away. I hated to be rude, but I was going through a lot
lately, and I just really needed to be with Alice. Fuck Lauren, fuck Victoria,
and fuck everybody else. All I needed was Alice.

—

I had a roomkey and I didn't bother knocking or texting ahead. I swiped the
card, walked in, and found them on the bed, naked. Alice was on her back with
her legs splayed and Rosalie was kneeling between her thighs. They were both
flushed and breathless and for a second they only looked at me where I stood
there fuming, as if I had actually caught them cheating. Rosalie only spared me
a glance before turning back to Alice's pussy but Alice swung her legs aside
and hopped off the bed. She didn't see the blonde's face darken.

"Hey, baby," she said, smiling and placing a kiss on my cheek. "Finished eating
already?"

I suppressed my fury and nodded. All this had been my own idea and it would be
stupid to freak out now. I had always told myself it was only temporary and at
least now I knew for sure. After our wedding night no lips would ever touch
Alice's body again.

"Yeah," I said. "Victoria left, so…"

Rosalie had sat up in the bed, making no move to cover herself. Her long and
perfect torso looked like it was carved from marble and her blonde hair was
tumbled about her shoulders. A faint flush of pink still clung to her cheeks
and she frowned at this news of her mistress.

"Left?" she said. "Where did she go?"

I remembered the messages the redhead had told me to relay, and the memory made
much of my anger dissipate. I could've been cruel and mentioned that her
precious mistress was getting sick of her, but I didn't want to hurt anyone or
make anyone angry. So I just shrugged and said:

"She didn't really say."

Rosalie looked down. Alice looked between us, unsure for a moment, and then she
giggled.

"Oh well," she said. "Her loss. C'mon, baby, hurry up and get your dress off."
She jumped back onto the bed, breasts bouncing, and cupped Rosalie's face.
"Rosalie and I can squeeze you in, can't we Rose?"

She asked the question very sweetly, gazing directly into Rosalie's eyes. But
the blonde didn't reply. Alice had a habit of fishing for consent during sex,
but this time Rosalie wouldn't give it. Neither would I. I had made no move to
take off my dress and everyone seemed to know there was something wrong other
than Alice. Finally the blonde swatted Alice's hands away from her face and
climbed off the bed.

Alice actually looked surprised. She looked at me, but I stood there
uncertainly. Rosalie had snatched up her dress from the floor and was putting
it back on.

"Rosalie—"

Alice went to reach for Rosalie's hand but Rosalie snatched it back.

"Don't touch me," she hissed.

Alice looked shocked. As if the blonde had never spoken to her like that in her
whole life. And maybe she hadn't.

"Rose," she said.

Rosalie wouldn't look at her. She had her dress on and she was struggling to
tie it around her neck, her fingers fumbling from rage. Her voice came out
trembly. "I was fine when you wanted to share me with Victoria," she said, "but
you never treated me like this. You never treated me like I was some kind of…
some kind of…"

Alice reached for her again. "Rose."

Rosalie jerked her hand away and pointed a finger at me. "And now you're
marrying her?" she hissed. "This mindless child? You choose her over me? After
all these years. After everything I've done for you, this is how you choose to
hurt me? To insult me?"

"I love her," Alice whispered.

But the blonde shook her head, looking at her in disgust. "You're not capable
of love," she said. "Victoria was right. You never were."

"Rose, please," Alice said, panic in her voice. "You have to understand. I—"

The rest of the phrase was chopped off in a vicious slap. Alice lifted a hand
to her cheek, stunned. Rosalie glared at her in disgust, hand clenched into a
fist at her side, and grated out:

"If you say you love her one more time…"

Alice blinked tearfully, her lip trembling like a struck child. "I was going to
say I'm sorry."

"Save it," the blonde spat. "You're not sorry. All you care about is yourself."

She wheeled about and grabbed up her shoes from the floor. Alice stepped
closer. She was naked but for a pair of sexy black stockings and even at a time
like this I took the opportunity to admire her ass. Who could be angry at an
ass like that?

"That's not true, Rose," she pleaded. "Rose, please. Don't leave like this.
Let's just…"

Alice grabbed for her former lover's hand one more time and one more time
Rosalie jerked it away.

"Rosalie, please," she blurted. "I thought you'd be happy for me. I thought—"

Rosalie had been headed for the door but now she spun around.

"Happy for you?"

Alice nodded timidly with a timid smile, trying to placate the blonde with
cuteness. She was still topless and her breasts were as perky as ever, so it
should work.

"Yes," she said. "I was even going to ask you to be my maid of honor. Please,
Rose? I know deep down you only want me to be happy. Can't you see how happy I
am with Bella? I'm sorry I didn't love you forever like I promised, but I fell
in love with someone else. I'm sorry. It's not my fault.

But the blonde must've been made of sterner stuff than me, because the nudity
and cocked head didn't make much of an impression on her. She looked at Alice
with her icy blue eyes full of distain and said:

"It's not your fault you're a whore?"

Alice staggered backwards a step, as if the comment had hurt worse than the
slap. And I could understand why. Alice had grown up as a whore and fought
against it all her human life. She could use the word playfully at times, but
here, now, from the mouth of the woman she had loved almost as much as me, it
seemed to rock her to her core. Worst of all, she was standing there naked –
she really did look kind of whorish.

But protectiveness bloomed in my chest nonetheless and I took a gallant step
forward. Rage flashed in my eyes and in a firm voice I said: "Alice is not a
whore."

The blonde's head whipped around as if being spoken to by me was the biggest
affront of all. I'd been ready to defend Alice, but suddenly it seemed like I
was the one in danger. Rosalie strode toward me in three steps, swung her hand,
and slapped me across the face.

It almost knocked me out. Getting slapped with vampire strength was like
getting hit with a baseball bat shaped like a hand. Heat exploded in my cheek
and I reeled backward, stumbling in my heels, and fell back on my butt.

"Rosalie!"

Alice bobbed down beside me and gathered me in her arms as if I'd been shot.
Rosalie looked at us coldly. Alice gave me a quick examination and glared up at
Rosalie.

"Get out," she said. "Right now."

Rosalie didn't hurry. She let her loathing stare linger on the two of us and
then she grabbed her purse from the dresser, fluffed her hair in the mirror,
and reapplied her earrings. Then she walked past us, opened the door, and
exited into the hallway, slamming the door shut behind her.

Alice was holding my head to her chest, and while I did enjoy being pressed to
her naked bosom, it did feel just a little awkward to be nursed over so
dramatically. So I sat up gently and rubbed my cheek with my own hand, smiling
sheepishly, as if embarrassed I lost the fight. Alice looked at me with her
eyes full of concern and god her boobs were cute.

"Are you okay, baby?"

I nodded, smiling it away. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Alice took my hand away from my cheek and leaned and kissed it. It was already
swelling, but her lips did make it feel better. Ah, Alice.

"I'm so sorry, baby," she said. "I knew she was going to be upset, but…"

She trailed off glumly. She sat back on the floor with her legs tucked
underneath her. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to make her feel better,
but at the same time I wanted to eat her pussy. Her nakedness was making me
horny. Finally she sighed and looked up at me.

"If she loved me, she'd want me to be happy," she said. "Wouldn't she?"

Tricky question, really. People generally aren't that selfless, and the blonde
and the redhead certainly weren't. Generally when people loved someone they
wanted to be with that someone – even if that someone was with someone else.
But I didn't know if this was what Alice wanted to hear, so I shrugged.

"I don't know."

Alice looked down at her lap. I did too. Such pretty legs – she really didn't
deserve to be treated like this. She shook her head and frowned aside.

"She's a bitch," she said. "They all are. Fucking whores."

I tried not to smile. Personally I didn't think any of us had the right to go
around name calling—we were all whores, really—but I was glad she didn't feel
too much regret. But I still felt like I should apologize, even if just for
form's sake.

"Sorry," I said.

Alice looked at me and immediately brightened. "Don't apologize, baby," she
said. "None of this is your fault. You're the best thing that's ever happened
to me."

It was exactly what I wanted to hear, and I mirrored her smile. "You don't need
them to make you happy, Alice," I said. "I'll do it all, I promise. Anything
you want."

Those three magic words made a ripple of excitement shiver through me. Because
I meant it, I truly meant it. Ever since our night together I had tried to let
her know as many times as possible that I was indeed willing to do absolutely
anything, but so far she hadn't really taken advantage of that.

But now was different. She had just had maybe her first fight ever with her
former lover of a hundred years, and her mood was playfully dark enough to be
intrigued by the offer. The corner of her mouth quirked up and she said:

"Anything?"

Excitement charged through me like a racehorse and I knew right then that
tonight was going to be wild. I leaned to her mouth suddenly and ran my tongue
along her bottom lip.

"Anything," I whispered.

I'd been expecting her to complete the kiss and promptly ravish me in some
violent way, but she didn't. I pulled back slightly and her eyes were looking
aside at the carpet. A wistful smile on her lips, as if she knew what she was
about to do was wrong and wanted to do it anyway. She turned her eyes to my
bare shoulder and caressed it with a hand.

"You shouldn't say that, baby," she whispered.

I touched her hand on my shoulder. "Why not?"

"Because I might not be able to stop myself."

I smiled and drew her hand down across my chest, pressing it to one of my
breasts. "I don't want you to stop yourself, Alice," I told her. "When I'm with
you, I want to be with all of you. I love you, Alice. Don't you understand?"

She looked into my eyes. Her pretty face made my pussy throb with want and I
lowered her hand even further, guiding it up my dress and pressing it flat
against my panties, still staring into her eyes.

"Come on," I whispered, "let's do something wild tonight. Anything you want,
okay? You don't need any of those whores. You've got the only whore you'll ever
need right here…"

I started kissing her and rubbing her hand against myself. She opened her mouth
and I forced my whole tongue inside, letting her feel my slavish desire to
simply please her. I moaned and lapped up the venom that was pooling in her
mouth, swallowing it eagerly and feeling it spread hotly through my body. I
kissed her and kissed her and finally I pulled back, staring at her and
awaiting directions.

She licked her lips and looked at me for a moment. I could see the last
flickers of reluctance fade away in her eyes as dark excitement overwhelmed her
completely. She smiled and tongued her fangs, lowering her eyes to my body.

"Well," she said. "There is one thing."

"Yes?"

I was kneeling in front of her, holding her hand up my dress, and before she
replied she lifted the skirt with her other hand and tugged down my panties a
little. She found my clit and toyed with it idly as she spoke.

"Have you ever wanted to experiment with asphyxiation?" she asked.

I wasn't even positive what it meant, and my mind wasn't working so good at the
moment. It was either choking or that feeling you get when your foot goes to
sleep. Choking seemed more like Alice's style, so I nodded. It didn't matter
what it was. I said anything and I meant it.

She smiled and pinched my clit, making me jump. "Well, maybe we could try a few
things," she said. "It's a great way to dominate and it would be best to enjoy
it while you're still human. As a vampire it's not so exciting. Strangulation
loses much of its appeal when you don't require breath."

I was almost out of breath right now, my chest rising and falling as her finger
massaged the swollen nub of my clit. I nodded rapidly. "Anything you want,
Alice," I said. "Anything."

Her finger paused. A slow grin spread over her face and then she just giggled.

"Okay, now I'm excited," she said. "Come on, get your dress off. I always
wanted to do this."

She had hopped to her feet and I rose unsteadily behind her.

"Do what?" I asked, pulling my dress off.

But she only flapped a hand at me impatiently. "Panties too, hurry up."

I dropped my panties – they were already at my knees anyway.

"Do you want me to keep my shoes on?"

"I always want you to keep your shoes on, baby. And here, put these on."

She tossed me a pair of handcuffs. I tried to catch them but my half-completed
transformation into vampire hadn't seemed to improve my reflexes. They bounced
off my boobs and fell to the floor. I bent and fetched them up.

"Behind my back?"

"Yep. Now, hurry up and come here. Oh god, I'm so horny. Quick!"

I closed the cuffs around my wrists, feeling a delicious surge of helplessness
crawl across my naked body. Alice was sitting on the edge of the bed with her
legs wide open, watching me with a bright grin. I came over and knelt at her
feet and looked up at her obediently. She giggled and petted my hair.

"Good girl," she said. "Start licking, okay? I'll explain what I'm going to do
in a minute."

"Do you want me to call you mistress?"

Alice paused to think about it. She bit her lip cutely and couldn't seem to
decide. "Um, I don't know," she said. "I like it when you're submissive, but it
seems a little impersonal. What do you think?"

I was kneeling at her pussy with my hands cuffed behind my back – obviously I
enjoyed being dominated. "I think it would be hot," I said. "Besides, it's
true. You are my mistress."

She giggled and patted my head. "Okay, call me mistress," she said. "Now
quickly, start licking."

"Yes, mistress," I said, and then I leaned forward and obeyed.

She moaned loudly, letting me know she liked it. She wove her fingers in my
hair and shifted on the bed, leaning back to allow me maximum access.

"Good girl," she said. "Okay, this is what I'm going to do. Remember I was
talking about asphyxiation? Well, this is what we'll try first. Just for fun.
First, I'm going to wrap my legs around your head. Very tight, so that your
mouth is completely covered. And then I'm going to pinch your nose closed. You
won't be able to breathe at all. Does that sound like fun?"

"Mmhm," I moaned into her pussy.

"Good girl," she said. "I'll let go again before you pass out. You're going to
have to trust me to let you breathe again. Do you trust me?"

I pulled my tongue out of her vagina and smiled up at her with my mouth
slathered in her juices. "Of course," I said. I was tempted to add that she
didn't even have to let go if she wanted, that being smothered to death by her
pussy actually seemed like a good way to go, but I didn't. I didn't want her to
suddenly have second thoughts about what we were doing.

Alice smiled down at me for a moment. She caressed my brow with the backs of
her knuckles and I leaned into it like a cat. "Good girl," she said. "Are you
ready?"

"Ready," I said.

Excitement was already swirling in my stomach. I knew it wasn't go be
especially pleasurable for me—or even for her—but I liked the idea of putting
my life in her hands. That's really all I wanted.

Grinning, she wrenched back my head a little by the hair and wrapped her thighs
around my neck, squirming on the bed to get nice and comfy. In the spirit of
cooperation I did my part as well by nestling my face into her crotch and
blinking up at her obediently, my hands still chained behind my back. My mouth
was pressed flushed against her entrance but she hadn't began to tightened her
legs. She smiled down at me and I could feel her pussy twitching against my
lips with excitement.

"Take a deep breath, baby," she said.

I closed my eyes and breathed in through my nose, inhaling her luscious scent.
Her vampire pheromones flooded my brain and convinced me instantly that this
was the right thing to do, the only thing to do. Tonight was going to be a
taste of what it would be like to die in her arms and I couldn't wait.

My eyes opened and I held my breath. She smiled and pinched closed my nose,
tightening her thighs around my head. Dark excitement swept through me like a
cold wind as I realized that I really couldn't breathe. Her legs went tighter
and tighter, wrapping around me like an anaconda until my mouth was crushed
against her pussy.

"Good girl," she whispered. "We'll see how long you can last. And feel free to
struggle when you start running out of air. That's the fun part. So thrash
really hard, okay?"

I tried to nod, but her legs were locked too tight. Already I was running out
of air and a sweet panic was stealing over me. I could get tiny slivers of air
through my mouth, but mostly I was just trying to lick her. She giggled when
she realized what I was doing.

"I love it how you're still trying to lick me," she said. "You'd lick me with
your dying breath, wouldn't you?"

I tried to nod again, but I couldn't. A tiny tip of my tongue was protruding
from my mouth and I just licked her as best I could.

"Yes," she said. "I know you would. You're such a slut, aren't you? Are you
running out of air yet? Remember to struggle, baby."

I was. My throat had gone tight from lack of oxygen and I tried to suck in a
breath, but it was impossible. My body jerked once, twice. Like bad hiccups. I
had been determined not to struggle, just to show her how willing I was to die
for her, but I couldn't help it. I tried to pull my head away, but her legs
were so tight. I wrenched backward with my shoulders and started to thrash, in
silence save for the rattle of handcuffs. My world was going dim and I could
feel her hand stroking my hair gently as I writhed in rising panic.

"Good girl," she whispered. "Fight as hard as you can, baby. It's no use, but
it's fun to watch. I'll never let you escape me. I'm going to keep you forever.
Just like this. On your knees, where you belong. My little whore. My beautiful
little whore…"

I couldn't hear her anymore. My knees were scrabbling in the carpet as I tried
desperately to wrench away my head from between her thighs, but she was too
strong. Hysteria moaned in the throttled pipes of my throat and my lungs were
on fire. My eyeballs rolled up behind their lids and little pins of light were
dancing behind them. I was getting weaker and weaker, and finally my whole body
slumped bonelessly between her legs and my black world went blacker.

—

She actually let me pass out, the bitch. It wasn't the best way to establish
trust, especially when she'd deliberately told me she would let me breathe
again before that happened, but I was a good sport and I didn't get too upset
after she revived me with few quick slaps.

And, of course, that was only the beginning. Alice had a whole range of
asphyxiation fantasies, it seemed, and she was delighted to find that I was
equally committed to making them all come true. Happily, she didn't let me pass
out again, she simply bought me to point where I would begin to struggle and
then she'd let me breathe again. We experimented with a variety of techniques,
but none were quite as awesome as that first one. Being trapped in Alice's
pussy had been the most perfect piece of domination I'd experienced. My life
had literally been completely in her hands – placed in her hands, willingly and
deliberately. That first act had demonstrated the true extent of my love for
her, and even though no immediate orgasms resulted from it, it was still pretty
fucking awesome.

From there we branched out into more casual forms of strangulation, such as,
well, strangulation. It was really quite disturbing how fun it all was. Alice
would pin me down and start choking me, and I'd do nothing but smile up at her
as she taunted me and tightened her grip on my throat, watching my face darken
until my breath ran so low that I had to struggle, twisting under her like a
snake as both the darkness and the climax built behind my eyelids – she'd be
fucking me with a strap-on while she did it and my writhing only got it in
deeper.

There were a couple other things that were really hot, too. She had taken off
one of her stockings and tied it into a noose. She then slipped the loop around
my neck and made me go down on her as she tightened it, holding it like a leash
and slacking off the pressure only when I was in danger of passing out into her
pussy. Another thing was with her thighs. She wrapped them around my waist like
pythons and squeezed tight enough to squeeze all the air out of my lungs, tight
enough to pop the vibrator out of my pussy, until I was sucking thinly for air
and beating her weakly with balled fists to get out. Another fun one was her
boobs. She simply plugged up my mouth with her nipple and held me there as she
pinched closed my nose. Only this one backfired, because as soon as I started
running out of air, I bit down on her tit unconsciously. She yelped and
released me, pouting and rubbing her breast where it hurt. I kissed it better
for her and soon she was suffocating me again.

All in all, it was a fun and adventurous evening. My throat was sore and my
neck was fairly bruised up, but overall I was relatively undamaged. Alice was
happy, and that was the main thing. After we showered we curled up under the
covers and she babbled for quite a while about how happy she was that we could
do that stuff while I was human, because it really wasn't the same as a
vampire. I mostly listened, my throat a little tender. Alice chuckled, her body
vibrating against mine.

"I remember when I was worried about corrupting you," she said. "Now it's
almost like you're the one corrupting me. You know I'd never do that stuff if
you didn't want to, right?"

"I know," I said. "But if it's what we both want, where's the harm?"

"Well, it's not really healthy."

"You're a vampire, Alice. Is drinking blood healthy?"

Her face was laid against my chest and I felt her sigh. "I guess not," she
said. "In the end, I really am a monster, aren't I?"

I opened my eyes. I couldn't see her face—just the top of her head—but the tone
of her voice seemed sad. I didn't want her to think of herself as a monster.
She was, of course—a total fucking fiend—but I didn't want her to think that
was a bad thing. Because it wasn't. In it's own twisted way, it was beautiful.
So I stroked my hand up and down her back and said:

"You okay?"

"Yeah," she said. "I just wish I could've given you a proper relationship. Like
you deserve."

"Alice, you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

She lifted her face and smiled at me. But it wasn't really a happy smile.

"I know," she said. "I think that's the saddest part."

"What do you mean?"

She giggled and put a quick kiss on my lips.

"Nothing," she said. "You know how I get weird after sex."

I smirked. "And during."

"Especially during," she said.

We giggled and then I rolled her over and straddled her hips, laying flat on
top of her the way she used to do to me. She settled with her arms around me
and I smiled at her in the lamplight. The pain in my throat reminded me of all
the things we'd done tonight and I decided that it was time to talk.

"Have you given any more thought to our wedding night?" I asked.

Her hands paused on my back. She knew exactly what I was talking about, but she
pretended she didn't. "Well," she said. "I was thinking we'd have the ceremony
at the mansion. White dress for me, pink for the bridesmaids. As for the
honeymoon, I haven't really thought about it yet. But who needs a honeymoon
when we're already right here in Paris? Besides, your thirst will be pretty
powerful as a newborn, so it would be best to keep you close. I think we should
just move in together as soon as possible, what do you think?"

My smile had slipped away. Her little misdirections didn't work on me anymore.
It was time that she realized that I had finally developed expectations of this
relationship. I needed a certain commitment. If she didn't want to, fine, we'd
talk about it. But I was done letting her dodge it.

"That's not what I was talking about," I said.

"What do you mean?"

"I was talking about the wedding night."

She cocked her head on the pillow and smiled cutely. "What about it?"

But the cuteness didn't work on me either – not so soon after sex, at least. I
stared at her for a second, feeling waves of plain unhappiness wash over me,
and then I rolled off her and sat up in the bed with my back to her. I couldn't
believe she was actually pretending she had no idea what I was talking about.
Did she really think I was that stupid? I had pulled up the sheet to cover my
naked body and now I felt her sit up beside me.

"Baby," she said. "What's wrong?"

I frowned at her, my throat now tight from both being choked and with tears.
"What's wrong?" I echoed. "I offered to let you kill me, Alice, and you're
acting like it never happened. How do you think that makes me feel? Do you have
any idea how hard it was for me to come to terms with this?"

She looked abashed. "I'm sorry."

But I didn't accept the apology. Waves of insecurity and humiliation were
washing over me and I suddenly blurted: "Look, if you don't want to do it, just
say so. I only wanted to do it to make you happy because I thought you wanted
it. But fuck it, if you wanna just turn me and get sick of me in a hundred
years like every other girl you've ever dated, then why don't you just—"

She hugged me. I closed my mouth and blinked back tears. She held me and
stroked my back. It made me feel better, but that only made me feel weak. I
sniffed and wiped one of my eyes with a thumb.

"I'm sorry," I said. "God, I'm freaking out again, aren't I?"

She released me and shook her head. "It's okay," she said. "It's my fault. I
never should've told you this was what I wanted. I should've kept it secret
forever."

A couple more tears dropped and I wiped them away with the sheet. I looked at
her and sniffed. "I don't want secrets, Alice," I said. "And I don't ever want
you to stop loving me. I don't want to end up like Rosalie or Victoria,
watching you fall in love with someone new because…"

I trailed off. Alice's face went cold.

"Because I'm a whore?" she asked.

Now it was my turned to be abashed. That's not what I meant at all, but it hurt
me she would assume that. She had no idea that I knew the truth of her origins,
but I did know, and knowing the truth made me very sympathetic. "No," I
whispered. "You're not a whore, Alice. I'd never think that. But you have these
dreams. They're beautiful dreams, but in the end, you always wake up. I don't
want to be another discarded soulmate, Alice. I want to be your One. Your only
One."

I looked in her face, begging her to understand. She looked down at the bed and
back up at me again.

"Do you truly want this?"

"Yes," I said, with husky earnestness. "You have no idea how much I love you,
Alice. I love you so much. Please tell me you want this too. Please tell me you
want me enough to do this."

She caressed my face with the backs of her knuckles and searched my eyes. She'd
put her ring back on before we gotten back into bed and I could feel the
diamond butterfly scrape gently against my cheek. Finally she dropped her hand
and a weak smile curved her mouth.

"I do want you, baby," she said. "More than you know."

Relief washed over me so powerful it made me dizzy. I grabbed her hand and held
it. "Thank you, Alice," I whispered. "I knew you did."

"But I'll only do it one condition," she added.

Waves of emotion were rolling over me, and I truly didn't care what the
condition was. I told her I'd do anything for her, and I meant it. Anything she
wanted. So I nodded, dabbing at more tears that had collected in my eyes, and
said:

"Yes?"

Alice was looking down at our hands wistfully. She recentered the engagement
ring on her finger with her free hand and looked up at me with a smile. "I
won't die after you," she said. "It has to be at the same time."

"Okay. Anything you want."

"That means you'll have to kill me too."

I froze.

Fuck.

I hadn't even thought of that. I'd been so focused on whether or not I was
willing to die that I hadn't considered Alice at all. I knew she was ready and
that she'd been ready for a long time, but I never thought how. I assumed it
would be some kind of suicide, like how she had starved herself before I came
to Paris. I never thought she'd actually expect me to—

"Can you do that, baby?" she asked.

I swallowed. I was dizzy all the sudden and cold all over. I swallowed again,
as if I'd forgotten how to talk, and cleared my throat. "Is that what you
want?"

She nodded, patting my hand. She could see that she had rattled me and having
the advantage made her smile brighter. "Do you want to know how I always
dreamed it?"

I didn't think I did, but I nodded.

"The most basic way to kill a vampire is blood loss" she said. "So, first
you'll cut my throat. Then I'll bite you. And together we'll bleed out, in each
other's arms. What do you think?"

I looked away, struggling for words. I hated it. How could I ever do something
like that to Alice? I was happy to let her do it to me, eager even, but there
was no way I could do it to her. I just couldn't.

"I don't know," I said. "I thought…"

Alice chuckled, bobbing slightly to smile at my face. "You thought I'd live
without you? Even for a few seconds? No. I can't do that and you can't ask me
to. This is the only way, baby. It has to be by your hand."

She lifted my hand and kissed it gently. I swallowed. My throat was so sore –
and now she wanted me to cut hers. That was how she had died as a human. Did
she even remember? Did she truly want to relive that? How could she possibly—

"I don't know if I can," I whispered.

"Do you need sometime to think about it?"

I nodded quickly. "I think so."

She smiled and lowered my hand to her lap. "That's okay," she said. "Just
remember, I love you as much as you love me. And I want to give myself to you
in the same way. And if you need practice hurting me, we can do that too. I
don't have to be mistress all the time."

I nodded again. "Okay."

She patted my hand and giggled. "Good," she said. "But let's not talk about it
anymore tonight. All this talk about killing you has made me horny all over
again. I'm kind of fucked up, aren't I?"

"Just a little," I admitted.

She looked at me for a second and then she smiled. "Come on," she said. "let's
get some practice now. Do you wanna try choking me?"

"Choking you?"

She was already putting my hands at her neck. "Sure," she said. "It's not as
dangerous because I don't have to breathe, but it'll be good practice. You'll
have to learn to enjoy hurting me if we're going to do it properly. Go ahead."

I was confused and bewildered and my hands were around my girlfriends throat
and she was telling me to choke her. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to
hurt her, but I didn't want to disappoint her either. Her neck was so small and
slender. So delicate. I'd never touched it like this before. I'd never wanted
to. And yet a cold excitement was swirling in my stomach. My fingers closed
around it completely and slowly I began to apply a little pressure against her
windpipe.

"Like this?" I asked.

"Mmm," she moaned. "Harder, baby."

I clutched harder.

"Yes," she whispered. "Just like that."

—

***** Chapter 37 *****
—

Chapter 37:

—

In the weeks before the wedding our relationship became a little, well,
abusive. But in a good way. It was difficult to view it as a bad thing when
your girlfriend lets you tie her up and bang her from behind with a double
ended dildo while yanking on her hair. It was surprising how quickly I became
comfortable with the rough stuff. I think it was mostly Alice's influence. I
didn't have these desires naturally, but when your cute as hell girlfriend puts
on a pouty face and asks you sweetly to paddle her sexy ass till she cries,
well. Only an ogre would refuse.

So I did as she asked whenever she asked. She was training me up and pretty
soon I began to feel more confident about The Big Night. Le nuit grande. Alice
wanted me to cut her throat, and as sick as it was, I thought I might be able
to do it – but I wasn't positive. I was positive that I wanted to die for her,
but sometimes I really didn't think I'd be able to reciprocate. Sometimes I
even felt that I'd prefer her to live and get back together with Victoria and
Rosalie, or even meet someone new. It might be nice to be simply a memory –
untouchable, perfect.

But that wasn't what Alice wanted. She simply refused to live without me, and
there was nothing I could do but be flattered and slowly muster up the courage
to hack open her pretty throat.

The coven changed a lot in those weeks. Alice and I moved out of the mansion
and into our new apartment so that we could experience living together before
the wedding. Technically, this was called 'living in sin' by the more hardcore
Christians among us, but Alice and I had been sinning for a long time, and
society tends to be a little more lenient on live-in couples these days. We
weren't the only one's to move out, either. Victoria and Rosalie hadn't come
home since that night the blonde went spastic, and we learnt a couple days
later that they were living at a hotel. They maintained contact with the rest
of the coven, but neither had spoken to me or Alice.

Carlisle and Esme also moved out. They had been looking for a house since
before I'd even come to Paris, and they figured now was a good time. They had a
strange relationship, those two. I wasn't sure if they truly loved each other,
but it was clear they really liked being together. They had been married more
times than any other couple in the coven. Maybe it was because they were the
only two adults, or the only two that enjoyed acting like adults. Both of them
were totally in love with Alice, and both of them had lovers on the side, but
they did have a bond.

Esme had gotten a job at a private highschool, and Carlisle had been working
shifts at a local hospital for quite some time. Alice had done her post-
graduate work in Paris less than ten years ago, and she was quick to snap up a
position at an interior design firm that specialized in residential design. Of
course, the job was mostly fluff. She wouldn't officially start work until
after the wedding, and after the wedding she likely won't be in any condition
to work. Still, she got to enjoy a couple projects. Her first assignment was
Carlisle and Esme's new house. Her second was our new apartment.

It was our first apartment, so she kept it modest. Warm pastel colors and well-
crafted wooden furniture to create a cozy lived-in feel. It was neater than my
bedroom back home, but honestly, I didn't see any particular design. Maybe I'm
just dumb. Still, I made an effort to remark how perfect it was and how I'd
always dreamed of living in an apartment exactly like it. But all I really
needed was Alice. Alice's presence would make any home feel complete.

We finally moved in about two weeks after announcing our engagement. The
apartment was completely furnished, but there were a still a few things that
had to be transferred from the mansion, namely Alice's vast collection of
shoes. We filled four large cardboard boxes with them, and that was only the
ones she wanted to keep; the rest were to be given to charity. I'm not sure
what use the homeless would have with a pair of Jimmy Choos, but I suppose it
was better than nothing.

Jane and Leah gave us a hand, and we borrowed Esme's mommy-mobile, a sporty
navy-colored SUV. We filled up the back with boxes of shoes and clothes, and
then Alice and I gave Jane a quick tour of the apartment while Leah lugged up
all the boxes. She was the closest thing we had to butch. Her boobs were bigger
than her muscles, but she had always projected a manly kind of dependency, and
she didn't complain at all.

We ended up in our bedroom. A display of framed photographs was arranged on the
dresser and Jane was looking them over. Most of them were pics of me or me and
Alice, but there were some of Alice and the coven as well. Jane picked one up
and smiled at it. It was a pic of her and Alice, cheek to cheek, grinning
brightly.

"I can't believe our little Ally's finally getting married," she said. "I'm so
happy for you guys. I mean, it's for real this time, right?"

Alice was sitting in the center of the bed, barefoot. She was surrounded by
shoes and she was trying some of them on idly, just for fun. She smiled at what
Jane said and then she turned her smile onto me.

"Till death do us part," she said.

I was standing by the window. The apartment was on the third floor and there
was a view of the Eiffel Tower out there, and a beautiful blue sky. But none of
that was as beautiful as Alice; sitting there in her denim skirt, mismatched
stilettos on her pretty feet. Smiling at me. I smiled back and echoed in my
head:

Till death do us part.

"Sad the coven's breaking up all over again," Jane said, placing the picture
frame back down. "It was fun to live all together for a while."

Alice giggled and sorted through her shoes. "Well, we can't lay around having
sex for the rest of our lives. I haven't had a career in ages. Besides, my
dating days are over. From now on, I'm all about my baby. Aren't I, baby?"

Alice turned to me with a smile, but rather than answer with words, I quickly
went over and kissed her. God, I love her so much. Her talk of having a career
had caused a flicker of doubt, but she was probably only saying that for Jane's
benefit. I was holding her face in my hands as she craned her neck upwards and
I broke off the kiss by kissing her again and one more time as we gazed deeply
into each other's eyes.

Jane was watching and the loving display seemed to disgust her.

"You guys are gross," she said. "No, seriously. That's just…"

Alice giggled and began unbuckling the sandal on her left foot.

"What about you and Leah?" she asked.

Jane scoffed. "We aren't gross."

"No, I mean what are you gonna do now? Vicky and Rose are doing their thing,
Carlisle and Esme are getting a house. What about you and Leah?"

Jane shrugged and leaned back on the dresser. "Not sure," she said. "I guess
we'll stay at the mansion with Tanya for a couple more months. Leah wants to
turn her."

"You should."

"You think?"

Alice lifted her foot in the air and admired the shoe. Louboutins. Priced at
over a thousand euros. I'd learnt a lot about shoes since meeting Alice,
although not because I wanted to. Alice lowered the foot and looked at Jane.

"Sure," she said. "She's cute and she obviously likes the lifestyle. Why not?"

Jane shrugged again and looked greatly unimpressed at the idea of turning the
French blonde. "I don't know," she said. "I guess I'm just jealous. Leah likes
her too much, you know? It's like she's in love with the dumb slut or
something."

Alice and I glanced at each other. Sometimes it did seem that Leah favored the
'dumb slut,' but I was pretty sure it was just regular vampiric lust. Leah and
Jane weren't the most lovey dovey couple around, but it was hard to believe a
meal like Tanya could come between them.

But before Alice or I could reply with any of this, Leah came into the room
with a huge box of shoes. She was wearing a black tank top and black denim
shorts. It was a warm day and we were all a little scantily clad. She put the
box down and smiled at Alice.

"Still one more in the car," she said. "You ever think about cutting back on
the shoes, Alice?"

Alice smiled and went to reply with something that would no doubt be witty and
adorable—just like everything that came out of her mouth—but before she could
Jane broke in.

"Oh, quit bitching," she said. "Back to work, butch."

Alice and I grinned. Leah raised an eyebrow at her.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Other than look fat in those shorts? No."

Alice giggled and I was just flabbergasted. Jane had always had a huge set of
grapefruits, but sometimes even I was in awe of her supreme bitchiness. She'd
said it with a cocky smirk, not truly angry, and her eyes seem to dare the
other woman to retaliate. Leah smiled and approached her. Jane was still
leaning against the dresser and Leah backed her into it even more, looking
directly into the smaller girl's eyes.

"You might wanna watch your mouth, honey," she said. "Or maybe I won't let you
into these shorts."

Jane was grinning, and she opened her mouth to strike back, but Leah kissed
her. And I suppose Jane wasn't too upset about Leah's favoritism to Tanya,
because she responded to the kiss instantly, even reaching down to grab the
alleged fatness in the other woman's shorts.

I thought it was hot, and I was okay with watching for a bit. Alice, however,
didn't seem impressed. She cleared her throat loudly.

"Um, do you guys mind?"

Jane broke the kiss and frowned at her for interrupting. "What?"

Alice gestured at the room with the shoe in her hand – a gold-colored Gucci
with a spike heel.

"This is our home," she said. "Our bedroom."

"So?"

"So is it to much to ask that amorous activity within these walls be restricted
to me and Bella?"

Jane groaned and Leah backed away respectfully, grinning at Alice's silliness.
Jane straightened the hem of her top and pouted at Alice.

"Jeez," she said. "You're no fun since you got engaged. Two years ago you
would've had your tongue in Leah's butt by now."

Alice glanced at me in alarm—as if maybe I wasn't aware of what a depraved
little slut she was—and then glared at Jane. "Well, get used to it," she said.
"You guys can come over for dinner some night next week, but until then, this
bed is a Bella-only zone. No one get's naked in this house but me and Bella."

Jane put her hands on her hips. "So we help you move in and you're not even
gonna take off your top?"

"Nope."

"Wow, what a tease. Talk about a waste of an afternoon. You should've said you
weren't putting out, we could've done something else."

Leah smiled. She had always been a good sport about Alice's recent attempts at
monogamy and she was already backing to the door.

"I'll go get the last box," she said. "Then we'll leave you guys alone."

Jane unleaned from the dresser and went to walk out with Leah. "Fuck the last
box, let precious Bella get the last box."

Alice opened her mouth to admonish her sister, but I jumped in before it could
escalate to a catfight.

"I'll go get it," I said. "It's just one box."

Alice didn't like the idea of me leaving her side, and I didn't either, but she
obviously wanted to stick it to Jane. "Well, be quick, baby," she said. "I'll
miss you."

I walked up to the bed and she craned her neck for a kiss. "I'll miss you too,"
I said, and kissed her.

It was only supposed to be a quick kiss, but we got a little carried away. Jane
and Leah were apparently watching from the door and Jane gave a little sound of
disgust.

"Ugh," she said. "You guys suck. Come on, Leah, let's get outta here. We'll
leave the shoes on the sidewalk, you can pick em up when you want. Jeez."

A few moments later I heard the front door slam but I was too preoccupied
stuffing my tongue into my girlfriend's mouths to follow them. I'd become a lot
bolder in recent weeks, and now that I knew how much my fiancé liked to be
defiled, I often indulged myself in defiling her. She had her face lifted to
mine passively, mouth open, and I was lapping up her sweet tasting venom with
my tongue, almost drooling from the hunger I felt for her.

I would've loved nothing more than to lower my lips to her lower lips, but the
shoes were waiting downstairs, and I knew how much Alice loved her shoes. She'd
never forgive me if they got stolen whilst waiting to be picked up on the
sidewalk, so I broke the kiss reluctantly.

"I better go get your shoes."

But her eyes were dark and full of lust and her fangs poked her lip as she
smiled and tugged me back by my shirt. "The shoes can wait," she murmured
sultrily.

I smirked. "Wow," I said. "You must really love me."

She smirked back. "Not really," she said. "It's just my pussy's more urgent."

And with that, she laid back on the bed, lifted her legs, and opened them. Her
denim skirt was loose-fitting and she lifted it up so I could see the damp
patch in her pink panties. Her right foot was wearing a black stiletto and her
left foot was wearing a gold sandal, and both feet were high in the air.

Smirking, I swept aside the pile of shoes that lay before her and crawled onto
the bed.

"I better take care of it then, huh?"

She smiled and pulled back her legs even further by the ankles.

"Yes," she said. "I think you'd better."

I had already lowered my face between her thighs and she moaned encouragingly
as I dragged my tongue across the wet patch in her underwear.

—

The shoes were still waiting on the sidewalk by the time we were done which was
somewhat of a miracle considering the contents of the box were worth at least
ten thousand euro. But I suppose the box was sealed up, and even if it wasn't,
I doubt there was much street value in designer heels.

Alice came down with me when I went to fetch it and followed me up the stairs
again. We spent a couple hours unpacking the rest of her stuff—only one box was
mine and few of it's contents were shoes—and we spent another hour arranging
her shoe collection in a special closet designed specifically for shoes. Alice
crouched among the shoeboxes on the floor and kept asking me for advice on
which ones to prioritize, but mostly I just knelt behind her with my arms
around her waist as she sorted them in any order she wished. When we were done,
we made love on the bed with the sun setting in the window, and then we took a
walk to the grocery store down the block so we could buy something for dinner.

The fridge was well-stocked with essentials, but tonight was our first night as
a live-in couple, and we wanted to do something mildly special. We roamed the
aisles with our hands clasped, selecting things off the shelves and placing
them in the basket at Alice's elbow. They had steak on special, and even though
I didn't like meat, I thought it would be nice to make steak au poive. It was
simple and easy, and I really doubted we'd be eating much of it anyway. So we
bought a couple steaks and some baby carrots and a pound of fresh peas. Alice
didn't need to eat and I didn't have much of an appetite these days, so dinner
was more of a performance at this point. Still, it was fun. Alice seemed to
have a zeal for the role of 'excited young woman who just moved in with her
girlfriend and wants to make something special for dinner,' and I played my own
role with equal gusto, suggesting some candles and a box of matches to make it
really romantic.

I started cooking as soon as we got home while Alice went for a shower. I made
the chocolate marquise first, since it had to set in the fridge, and although
chocolate wasn't our preferred dessert, it might be nice to have some for
breakfast tomorrow. I didn't have to worry about pimples of gaining weight with
so much venom in my system, and these might be the last couple months of my
life – why not splurge with the chocolate?

I'd always loved cooking and soon I found myself in a familiar rhythm, boiling
water for the vegetables, greasing the pan for the steaks. I hadn't cooked
since back in Forks, and I took a moment to fondly remember my mother, that
dear woman who's skills in the kitchen were a disgrace to feminine stereotype.
We used to spend a lot of time in the kitchen, me and mom. Me cooking and her
hovering around to help, me doing the dishes and her drying, me doing homework
and her drinking coffee and distracting me with tales from work. How come we
never had a dishwashing machine? The steak was sizzling in the pan, but I'd
zoned out a little. I really hoped she would be okay. So much of her life had
been defined by taking care of me. I hoped she could find something else to
live for.

I was roused out of my reverie by Alice's entrance. She had put on a sexy red
dress that was tight and short and she came in with a sexy red smile and struck
a pose in the arch way, leveling her dark eyes across the kitchen at where I
stood at the sizzling stove with a spatula.

"Hey, baby," she said. "I bought dessert."

I grinned hugely and looked at her body. "It looks delicious."

She giggled and came over, wrapping her arms around me from behind as I turned
back to the pan. The smell of steak and simmering red wine mingled with the
smell of aggressive orchids, and my body went tingly from her touch.

"Mmm, that's smells nice," she said. "Is it almost done?"

"Almost."

"I can't wait. I love steak. Nothing like sinking your teeth into a tasty piece
of meat."

She punctuated the statement by giving me a quick spank on the rump. I was
tempted to feed her right then with something a little more palatable than
beef, but I've been trying to develop a little control lately. It seemed to
impress her when I denied her, and it was fun foreplay.

"I've got a better idea," I said. "Why don't you set the table and light the
candles?"

She giggled and groped my jeans. "I love it when you tell me what to do."

"Then set the table like I told you," I said, only barely managing not to
squeal at her touch.

"Are you sure, baby?" she whispered in my ear. "I'm not wearing any underwear."

My stomach dropped. It took all the restraint I could muster not to spin around
and drop to my knees, but the steaks were almost done, and I knew Alice didn't
really want to spoil dinner so soon. She just got carried away sometimes with
her sluttier urges.

"The steak ," I said, with a dry throat. "It'll burn."

She sighed and released me. I instantly regretted my self-control – maybe it
would've been nice to have an appetizer.

"Oh fine," she pouted, and started opening drawers to search for cutlery. "But
you better make it up to me later. Tonight is our first night in our new
apartment. We'll have to do something really crazy to make it memorable."

The idea of doing something really crazy made me smile. I couldn't imagine how
we could get any crazier than strangling each other, but I was eager to find
out.

"Anything you want, Alice."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

She giggled, setting down knives and forks on the napkin while I tended the
stove. "It's so sweet when you say that," she said. "But you know it's all
bullshit, right? Everybody has limits."

I smiled at her over my shoulder. "I'd die for you, Alice," I said. "If that's
not limitless, I don't know what is."

"So naïve. You're not as twisted as you think, baby."

"I'm not?"

"Of course not. Principles of pain and obedience involve an elegance of power
and selflessness, but if I proposed something involving a gerbil, for instance,
would you really be so eager?"

I had no idea what possible applications there were for a gerbil in the
bedroom, but the thought made me screw up my face regardless.

"Fuck no."

"Exactly. I'd say the same thing to you."

"Thank god."

She giggled and started lighting the candles. They were red wax, thick and
scented, and there were two in two candleholders either side of a vase of red
roses. I heard the match pop and turned to see her touching the flame to the
wicks. When they were lit she blew out the match and smiled at me.

"But now you see," she said. "We all have limits. You might think you're
capable of anything, but you're not. And rightly so. I wouldn't respect you if
you were."

The talk had turned a little complicated for my meager mind, and I wasn't sure
what she was saying at all, aside from the fact that there was probably some
secret message I was supposed to gleam from all this.

"So what are you saying?" I asked.

She gave a coy little shrug and flipped off the kitchen light. Instantly she
and her little red dress were cloaked in candlelight. She turned back to me and
smiled. "Nothing," she said, in a way that made me positive it wasn't nothing
at all. "I'm just saying all relationship's should have boundaries. Don't you
think so?"

I still didn't know what she was getting at, but if boundaries were going to
protect me from gerbils and other assorted depravities, I thought it was wise
to agree. "I guess."

Alice leaned against the fridge and smiled. She was dim in the candlelight and
there seemed to be something wistful in her eyes. She was looking at the vase
on the table and it seemed to inspire her next words. She turned to me and
smiled.

"Love is like water," she said. "It takes the shape of the container that holds
it. That's why it's important for the relationship to be as strong and well-
defined as possible. Because a relationship is the vessel of love. It's what
holds it. Contains it. And that's why steps like this are important. Moving in
together. Getting married. We had a rocky start, baby, but this…it really does
feel like a new beginning, doesn't it?"

I looked at her, spatula in hand. Beginning? I thought this was the end? Or is
that what she meant? Or was she saying something else entirely? Or—

Sometimes I hated being so stupid. She was obviously trying to say something
very specific, but all I really understood was how sexy she looked in her
dress. Was she serious when she said she wasn't wearing panties?

She was watching my befuddlement with an indulgent smile and she nodded at the
stove. "Steak's burning, baby."

A thin puff of smoke was rising and I spun back to the pan. "Shit," I said, and
twisted the knob to turn off the burner. I inspected the steaks; they didn't
seem too bad. I pulled off my apron and turned back to Alice, unsure but unable
to think. "Um, could you wrap these in foil quickly? They have to sit for a
couple minutes. I'll go get changed, okay?"

She nodded and I made a quick retreat.

I stripped off in our new bedroom and jumped into the shower quickly and
thought about what she said as I scrubbed myself down. But I was unable to
decipher the hidden meaning in her words and pretty soon I'd convinced myself
there was none. It was easier to believe that I was being silly than that Alice
was having second thoughts about the direction our relationship was taking.
Alice had always liked pretending to be normal, but I knew it was just a game.
Her true self was the one that craved my blood. She wasn't a loving girlfriend,
a bubbly teenager, or a bickering sister. She was a vampire.

I showered with my hair pinned up to keep it dry, but I brushed it and gave it
a squirt or two of perfume. I touched up my face with a bit of makeup quickly
and then I picked out a nice black dress. Unlike my darling Alice, I opted in
favor of underwear—black lace briefs—and I also put on some black stockings. It
was a semi-formal occasion, after all, and one really should wear underclothes.

Although, it was kind of funny. Typical of her to forego underwear, really. She
liked the human-seeming charade of a romantic candlelit dinner, but that didn't
stop her from acting like a supernatural whore. Nor should it. It was her
nature as an unholy slut, and more importantly, it was one of the things I
loved about her. Call me a freak, but I do love Alice's pussy, and I enjoyed
the knowledge that it was uncovered and waiting for me just underneath her
dress.

By the time I got back to the kitchen she had already served the plates and
poured the wine. She took a few moments to exclaim how beautiful I looked, and
then she kissed me and felt me up under my dress. I was greatly tempted to let
her do me right there, but I swatted her away and told her not to waste my
cooking. I even ordered her to wash her hands – she'd been grabbing my ass,
after all.

Dinner had turned out pretty good. We each had a small steak, well-done and
covered over with a red wine sauce, and we both had a side of baby carrots and
tarragon mash – peas and potatoes. We sat down and I watched Alice cut away a
section of the steak and pop it into her mouth. I knew vampires never had an
appetite for human food, but their sense of taste was the same, and I was
excited to see what she thought. I wasn't disappointed.

"Mmm," she moaned erotically as she started chewing. "This is delicious.
Really, really good. Not as good as you – but close."

I smiled. "Thanks."

She giggled and cut away another piece. I watched her in the soft glow of the
candles. Like always, her reaction had been exaggerated and largely fake, but I
was beginning to realize that the pretense was also important – maybe most
important. It made me feel good that she loved me enough to feign ecstasy over
a meal I hadn't even really worked that hard on.

But what did this mean about other aspects of our relationship, like sex? Was
the gentle pretense at treating me properly more important than the raw honesty
of making me bleed? What happens when the lie is right and the truth is wrong?
Can delusion ever be more noble than reality?

The thoughts floated over me like a strange dream and I didn't really want to
think about them. I didn't want any doubts about my relationship. All I wanted
to do was love Alice – the real Alice.

"Mmm," she went on, swallowing and gesturing with her fork. "This is awesome.
You know what I keep thinking about?"

"What?"

"Burning you with those candles."

I spat a giggle into my wine glass. She giggled too. My mood had gone a little
abstract for a few moments, but the suggestion reminded me of the visceral
truth – Alice was a monster. A pretty little monster with a talent for lies,
but a monster nonetheless. And me? I'm her victim. Simple as that.

So I set down my wine glass and smiled. "That was a bit random, wasn't it?"

"Sorry," she grinned. "Can we do it after we eat?"

I nodded, cutting away at my steak, strangely untroubled. Playing with fire
wasn't something that struck me as terribly appealing, but if anyone could make
it fun, it was Alice.

"If that's what my baby wants," I said.

She looked playfully outraged. "Hey, I'm not the baby, you're the baby," she
said. "You don't call me baby, you call me mistress."

I smiled and rephrased. "If that's what my mistress wants."

She gave me a queenly nod and went back to her dinner. "That's better," she
said. "Don't forget what the D in BDSM stands for."

I actually had no idea what those letters meant, and I was too frightened to
look it up on google. Ironic, considering the stuff I do in real-life was
likely to be far worse than any images I might encounter online. But I was
curious, so I quickly asked:

"What does it stand for?"

"You gotta be kidding."

"Nope."

She stared at me for a moment where I sat clueless in the candlelight. Then she
giggled and shook her head in a gentle kind of pity. "Discipline, baby," she
said. "The D is for Discipline."

"Oh," I said, and although I was curious about the other letters, I didn't ask.
I didn't want to seem stupider than I already seemed, and I was pretty sure the
B was for bondage and the M was for masochism.

"That's alright," she said. "Baby has a lot to learn. Speaking of which, after
dinner I thought we could get started on your French lessons. Unless you wanted
to watch a movie or something."

I frowned slightly. First she wanted to burn me with candles, now she wants to
teach me French – or watch a movie?

"Don't you want to have sex all night?" I asked.

"Well, yeah," she said, "but we could squeeze in a little French too."

I nodded and tried not to seem too reluctant. I know I said I'd do anything for
her, but did that have to include learning? I didn't see the point, anyway.

"I guess," I said, and my insecurities forced me to add, "but what for? I mean,
I'm not going to need it after the wedding. You know?"

She scooped up a bit of tarragon on her fork and giggled. "Well, don't be too
sure," she said. "What if you're too squeamish to do it properly? Then we'll be
stuck with each other forever and you won't be able to speak French."

There was a subtle challenge in her voice and I felt myself rising to it. "You
don't think I can do it?"

She gave a skeptical shrug. "You tell me," she said. "Actually, I think it's
sweet how reluctant you are to hurt me. It makes me feel all delicate and
treasured. Too bad I really like it rough."

"I could hurt you if I wanted," I said.

She sighed and carried on eating. "Promises, promises."

Okay, now that was direct challenge. I stared at her across the table in the
candlelight. She likes it rough? I can be rough. In fact, I could feel the
desire to be rough right now, spreading darkly through my chest like squid ink.
I could be very rough – if that's what she wanted.

So I rose from the table and took a knife from the butcher block on the
counter. It was an impulse, and the sight of the steel in the candlelight made
me dizzy for a second. A hot blush covered my face and I turned to Alice.

She had stopped eating and she smiled. She had eaten almost half of it and my
plate was almost untouched. She looked at the knife in my hands and lifted her
eyes to mine. There was an open challenge in her face for me to do something,
prove something, and very slowly I walked over and put the blade to her throat.

"I could do it if I wanted," I said.

My voice came out soft and husky. Alice smiled and dabbed her mouth with her
napkin, not minding the knife at all, and then she rose gracefully to her feet.
I kept the blade at her throat and I could feel dark excitement coursing
through me at the pressure of her neck against the edge. She looked into my
eyes.

"Can you?"

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Mmhm."

She cocked her head – toward the knife. I almost dropped it in fright at the
idea of actually cutting her, but the movement didn't break the skin. Her eyes
were dark in the candlelight and she was smiling with her beautiful red lips.

"Yeah right," she said. "You need to face facts, baby. You love me too much.
You'll never be able to hurt me. Look at you. You're too weak. You'll never be
able to do anything but love me and serve me respectfully for the rest of your
slavish little life. I bet you couldn't even draw—"

Blood.

Her words evaporated in a tiny gasp as a trickle of it oozed onto the knife
blade and dripped onto her shoulder. My breathing had almost stopped. Alice
glanced at the blood and her smile went a shade darker.

"Well," she said. "Maybe you might be able to do it, after all."

I smiled and lowered the knife. A thin line of blood seeped from the cut in her
neck. She wiped it with her finger and looked at me. I could see in her eyes
that she wanted me to open my mouth, so I did. She eased her finger between my
lips and my eyes fell closed as I sucked the sweet taste of her blood.

"How does that taste?" she whispered softly.

I smiled and licked my lips. "Delicious."

She watched me for a moment. Then she giggled and popped her finger into her
own mouth, simply as an erotic gesture. "You're getting very close," she said.
"You might even turn before the wedding if we're not careful."

"Would it matter?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Not really," she said. "But if were going to do this, it
would be best while you're human. If you became a vampire, you'd become a
monster like me. The sacrifice wouldn't be as meaningful."

I found that a little hard to believe. I understood that the lust for blood had
a tendency to cloud a girl's judgment, but were vampire's really that evil?
They weren't as pure and sparkly as the kind you find in modern romance novels,
but they didn't exactly go around killing and raping people – well, not unless
they wanted it. Consent was a big part of their MO. They preferred their
victims to enjoy it.

"Would I really be a monster?" I asked.

"Not exactly," she said. "But the thirst would greatly deteriorate your reason
and restraint. Even worse than you are now."

I was still holding the knife and I looked down at it for a second. The blade
glinted dully in the candlelight and I gave a small shrug. "Well, it doesn't
matter," I said. I looked at Alice. "Just tell me this is what you want, Alice.
I won't be able to do it if you don't want it as much as me."

She smiled brightly, and yet darker than ever. "I do, baby," she said. "Because
you're right. I've been ready to die for a long time. The only reason I never
did was because I was waiting for you. And now I've found you. And now…I really
am ready. Are you?"

"Yes," I breathed. "The thought of giving myself to you like that makes me so
excited. It's what I truly want, Alice. I just wish I didn't have to…"

My insecurities fluttered up at the last moment and I dropped my eyes. She
giggled and bent slightly to look into my face.

"Aww, don't chicken out now, baby," she said. "You were being so brave."

I smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

She watched me for a moment. Her pale face was orange in the candlelight and I
could see the excitement building in it – we were about to do something wild.
Finally she giggled and took the knife out of my hand.

"C'mon, let's do something to build your confidence," she said. "Watch this."

Excitement flickered in my chest and I had no idea what she was going to do.
Smiling, she inserted the knife into the neckline of her dress, and then she
cut the dress open down the front.

My face flushed hotly as the red fabric split to her navel and a swathe of her
perfect skin was revealed. I could see the area between her breasts, and with a
giggle she set the knife on the tabletop and pulled open the flaps of the dress
to expose her tits. My pussy gave one huge throb and I stared.

"Look at my body, baby."

"I'm looking."

"Now don't you want to ruin me just a little?"

I smiled and lifted my eyes to her face. She was watching me with an artificial
coyness in her eyes, standing there in her ripped dress, smiling, her perfect
little breasts waiting for me to do something to them. She was so beautiful, so
perfect – and I realized that yes, I would like to ruin her a little. Mark her.
Make her mine.

So I lifted my hands, placed them on her breasts, and stroked them gently. The
touch of them drove me wild. My pussy was throbbing and getting very moist, and
I found myself wishing I'd skipped underwear too. My panties felt a tad
uncomfortable, but I smiled and squeezed her breasts gently.

"Kind of," I admitted.

She watched me play with her breasts for a moment, as if assessing if I was
ready to do whatever she might be planning in her dark little head. My eyes
were lowered to her chest, watching in fascination at how her boobs moved under
my hands, and whatever she saw in my face must've pleased her. She giggled and
spun away from my hands.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

She didn't answer, she only hiked up her dress a little—good god that ass—and
hopped up onto the table. She wriggled a bit to get comfy, sitting on the edge
with her legs dangling, and then she reached behind her and took one of the
candles. Her legs were open and it was a battle not to kneel between them. But
she obviously had a plan, and I wanted to satisfy her.

"Come here," she said. "Take this. Can you guess what I want you to do?"

She handed me the candle. I held it and looked at her exposed breasts, so soft
and tantalizing, and I remembered how she mentioned over dinner that she'd like
to burn me. She appeared to have changed her mind subtly, but it seemed she
still had her dark heart set on something…hot.

I swallowed thickly. "I think so," I said.

She smiled and opened the ripped flaps of her dress a little more. "Then go
ahead."

Even now, it was hard to believe she was serious. The appeal of being burnt
with a candleflame was lost on me, and yet some part of me understood exactly.
So I did it – but gently. I passed the candle under the globes of her breasts,
one then the other, watching the flame flatten against her skin for just a
second before I pulled it away.

I looked at her face. She had no reaction at all beyond an excited smile. It
couldn't have hurt from how quickly I did it, but I could see in her eyes that
I wasn't done yet. I passed the flame under her breasts one more time and
smiled at her.

"Is it hot?" I asked.

She nodded, her eyes alive with excitement but no pain. "Mmm, very hot."

"It would be hotter if you were doing it to me."

But she'd hear none of it. "Not something like this," she said. "Burns can be
very ugly – and very painful. My skin will heal much quicker than yours."

"I'm not going to burn you, Alice."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm—"

She slapped me. Only lightly, but enough to silence me and make my heart flare
darkly. She grinned in the flickering light of the candle, sitting there in her
shredded dress with her legs open.

"Baby?" she said. "Burn me."

My blood was raging with sick excitement, but I demurred, glancing over her
perfect body. "Will it hurt?" I asked.

"Of course," she said brightly. "Even the wax will be excruciating. You're
supposed to use special candles for this kind of stuff. Real wax is far more
dangerous. In fact, you'd better tie me up first, in case I can't handle it.
Take off your panties."

"My panties?"

"And you're stocking's, too. Quick, quick, quick!"

I hastened to obey, propping my foot on one of the chairs and peeling off my
stockings quickly.

"Panties, too. Hurry up, baby."

I wriggled out of my panties and she smiled.

"Put them in my mouth."

"Your mouth?"

She opened her mouth and pointed. I looked at the panties, I looked at her
mouth. Then I popped them past her lips and pushed all the fabric inside with
my finger.

She gave a muffled giggle and gestured with one of my stockings – she wanted to
use it as a make-shift gag. I nodded, somewhat overwhelmed that my girlfriend's
mouth was plugged up with my own panties, and then I wrapped the stocking
around her mouth and tied it behind her head.

Her gagged mouth was smiling and with a couple grunts and gestures she had me
tie her hands behind her back as well, looping the other stocking around her
wrists and knotting it tight.

And there she was. My beautiful Alice – perched on the edge of the dinner table
in her shredded dress with her legs open, gagged and bound and eager for
flames. But how can you burnt something so hot already?

I picked up the candle and looked at her. Her eyes were twinkling in the
candlelight.

"Are you sure, Alice?"

She nodded eagerly and made a couple muffled grunts of encouragement. Yet still
I hesitated.

"But what do I do?"

She rolled her eyes and grunted in a way that seemed to demand the removal of
the gag. I pushed the stocking down and fished out the panties with my fingers,
and when she could speak, she said:

"Do what ever you want, okay? And talk to me as you do it. Tell me what you're
doing and how you're doing it and stuff. Or just be abusive. Whatever you want,
okay?"

I nodded uncertainly. "Okay."

She pointed with her nose at the candle in my hand. "Drip wax first," she said.
"On my thighs or my tits. Then use the flame. And don't be afraid, okay?
Whatever you do to me, it'll be healed in a couple hours."

"Okay."

"And before you start, use your mouth a little. Make my nipples really
sensitive. That'll make it hurt more."

I was still nodding. "Okay."

It was all so overwhelming. If you had asked me two years ago if burning my
girlfriend with hot wax sounded like a romantic way to spend an evening, I
would've been forced to admit that Bella Swan is slightly less hardcore than
that. But now, right now, I could feel genuine excitement flushing hotly
through my body. I felt weak and the candle trembled in my hand, making Alice's
shadow shake on the table behind her.

And yet Alice only giggled and jiggled on the spot, as if the thought of
searing pain was exciting to her. "Okay, put the gag back in," she said. "This
is so awesome!"

As always, her enthusiasm was infectious. I tucked the panties back into her
mouth and readjusted the stocking. She muffled a couple sounds of excitement
and I took a deep breath, regarding her naked breasts.

"Okay," I said. "Well, first…"

I leaned and licked her nipple. I heard a muffled giggle and I took the nipple
into my mouth, sucking on it the way she liked and even giving it a quick nip
with my teeth. I moved on to the other one, relishing the hard little nub
between my lips, and soon she was making small muffled moans. I figured that
would be sensitive enough. I raised up and smiled at her.

"How's that?" I asked. "Are they nice and sensitive?"

Her eyes had gone slightly lidded, and her nods were slow and sleepy with dark
excitement. I took another deep breath and licked my lips.

"Okay," I said. "First, I'll drip the wax. Ready?"

More nodding. I raised the candle over her chest, her wet nipples shining in
the glow. I could feel myself floating and I could hardly believe what I was
about to do.

"Okay," I repeated. "Here goes."

I tilted the candle. Almost instantly the red wax dripped and spattered on her
nipple. Her whole chest flinched and I almost dropped the candle from how
startled I was. I looked at her face. She was grinning through the gag and
wincing as the wax burned her nipple. On an impulse, I leaned and blew, cooling
the wax. It turned a dull red and almost her whole nipple was covered. I
smiled.

"Is that okay?"

She made a muffled sound of approval that sounded like the purr of a jungle
cat, and I lifted the candle over her other breast, glancing at her for
permission. She nodded; I tilted the candle.

Wax dripped and a red medallion formed over her other nipple, her whole body
scrunching up as the wax burned on her sensitive breast. This time I didn't
blow. I caressed her naked thigh with my free had and watched her face. Her
eyes were squeezed shut and when the wax had cooled enough not to hurt so much
she opened them. I smiled, my veins alive with adrenaline.

"Hot?" I asked.

It was a cute double entendre. Hot wax – hot sex. She nodded, a touch
frantically. It must've really hurt. But that's what she wanted and even though
I knew she didn't want to stop, I asked her anyway. Maybe it was my vampiric
traits beginning to flower, but I wasn't satisfied with her consent – I wanted
her eagerness too.

"Do you want me to keep going?"

She kept nodding, her breath muffled in the gag.

"Okay," I said, and then an idea hit me, and I quickly put down the candle
beside her leg and patted her thigh. "I'll be back in a sec. Sit tight."

A groan of protest followed me out, but I was back in under a minute with a
vibrator in my hands. I brandished the pink plastic shaft and giggled.

"We might as well do this properly, huh?"

Her eyes lit up and she nodded eagerly, lifted her legs, and leaned back to
expose her pussy. It was moist despite the pain of the wax, and I licked it a
little bit first, and then I put the vibrator on the lowest setting and touched
it to her clit. She moaned happily through the gag.

"Good girl," I said. "You really are a slut, aren't you?"

She nodded in complete agreement. After all, she was sitting there with her
legs in the air, her dress cut open, tied up, gagged, and red wax caked on her
tits. She really wasn't in any position to deny accusations of sluttyness.

I giggled and lifted the vibrator to her breasts. She seemed put out that I
didn't continue with her pussy, but I knew she'd prefer to have the experience
drawn out. She let her legs dangle and leaned her naked chest to me. I traced
circles around her perky breasts with the vibrator and smiled.

"Yes," I said. "Slutty little Alice with her slutty little tits. Such a slutty
little slut."

I wasn't well-practiced at the verbal abuse side of things, but I thought I was
doing a decent job. Alice, however, frowned and muffled some grumpy grunts. I
thought it was odd that she didn't get giddy at the word slut, and I pulled
away the gag.

"They're not little," she pouted.

She was referring to her tits. The enchanting creature.

They were actually the perfect size, full without being heavy, and beautifully
shaped. But the point of this particular exercise was to abuse the poor girl,
and if she was sensitive about her chest-size, then perhaps she'd appreciated a
jab there. So I gave them a skeptical look and smirked.

"Compared to mine they are," I said.

Her eyes flared. She was trying to look indignant, but she was mostly excited.
"Oh, you bitch," she said. "You—"

I stuffed the panties back into her mouth. "Shh," I said. "You're not the
mistress tonight, I'm the mistress. Your tits belong to me now, and if I want
to call them little, I'm going to call them little. Is that understood?"

My sudden outburst of dominance took me by surprise even more than her, but it
felt fucking awesome. I actually felt sweat break out over my body from how
excited I was. Alice smiled through her gag and nodded passively. I giggled.

"Good girl," I said. "I could get used to this domme stuff. It's pretty fun."

The wax was still caked on her breasts and on a quick whim I started slapping
at them playfully. The wax crumbled away and I dusted her nipples off with my
hand

"There," I said. I started groping them and I couldn't resist teasing her a
little more. "But you know, they really are kind of tiny, aren't they? Look, I
can almost cover the whole thing with my hand. No, these aren't tits, these are
just mosquito bites. Do you want to see what real tits look like?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. I smirked and took a step back.

"Here, I'll show you," I said, reaching for the shoulder straps of my dress. I
slipped off one, then the other. "Wanna see?"

She sat there grudgingly, all gagged and tied up. My shoulder straps were
dangling, but I wouldn't let the dress fall until she nodded, and finally she
nodded. I let the dress fall.

It only fell enough to uncover my breasts. It was tight around the waist, and I
didn't bother taking it off. I only wanted to show her my boobs, and even
though I'm not a mean girl by nature, I could help feeling a small thrill of
triumph at how much bigger they were than Alice's.

Alice played her part well. Her brow puckered and she looked at my tits as if
they had betrayed her in some way. I smirked.

"See?" I said. I hefted two handfuls of my own boobs and jiggled them a bit.
"This is what real tits look like. Not those tiny little things you have there.
This is what a real woman looks like. You're just a girl. A slutty little girl,
aren't you?"

She did a masterful job at looking wounded, and the expression was so adorable
on her gagged face that I dropped character for a second and wrapped my arms
around her neck. Sitting on the table made her taller than me, so I had to step
onto my toes in order to press my chest against hers. I kissed her gag and
whispered.

"Don't pout, baby," I said. "You know I'm only kidding, right? I love your
tits, and they're not little at all, are they? So nice and plump and juicy. I
never seen such cute little tits…"

I snuck one last jab in at the end, and she gave a muffled giggle. And now that
we were all friends again, I placed one last kiss on her gagged mouth, stepped
back, and took up the candle in one hand and the vibrator in the other.

"So," I said. "Still want to burn?"

She nodded. I smiled and flicked the vibrator on, her eyes filling with
anticipation. I could see her wonder what I was going to do with it, but all I
did was tuck it underneath her pussy, wedging it between the table and her
crotch, so that she was sitting on the shaft. She shivered and squirmed
slightly, letting herself enjoy it. I passed the candleflame under the globes
of her breasts, quickly, teasingly, and she looked at me

"Is this okay?" I asked.

She nodded and suddenly I went dizzy.

This was it.

No more teasing, no more fucking around. I'd been rough with Alice before, but
nothing like this. This wasn't hair pulling, or paddling, or even a knife. This
was fire. It was going to be very painful for her. She was probably going to
scream. The thought made my mouth dry even as my blood bubbled in excitement.

This was going to be awesome.

I could see the impatience in her eyes as I worked up the courage, and finally
I licked my dry lips, and touched the tip of the flame to the underside of her
breast.

And held it there.

The seconds seemed like hours. I could hear nothing but the drone of the
vibrator and the pulse in my ears. I didn't know what to look at, her breast or
her face. I tried to look at both. Three seconds, four. Her face began to
change. Pain invaded her pretty features almost instantly, her eyes scrunching
up as a squeak rose in her throat, and—

I pulled back the candle.

She was breathing raggedly through her nose and through the gag, but she was
grinning, the sweat on her forehead glistening in the candlelight. I grinned
back tentatively and touched her breast with my hand. It was hot. The skin was
very red but it wasn't really damaged. Not yet. I leaned and licked across the
mound quickly, feeling the heat on my tongue. The vibrator droned under her
pussy and soon I heard muffled giggles.

"Wow," I breathed, straightening up. "That was so hot. Are you sure that was
fun for you?"

She nodded quickly. I chuckled in amazement and looked her over. Gagged and
helpless, her hands tied behind her back. Her red dress slit down the front,
hiked up to her waist, the vibrator wedged under her naked pussy. The underside
of her left breast all red and inflamed. I shook my head and smiled.

"You're crazy, Alice," I said. "Totally fucking crazy."

More giggles and nods. I grinned and gave a cavalier shrug.

"Well, okay," I said. "Want more?"

Nod.

"I thought so. God, you're a crazy little bitch. This is your last chance to
back out, Alice. Seriously. I'm feeling very fucked up right now, and I don't
think I'll be able to hold back."

I hadn't been expecting her to back out, and she didn't. She giggled and
jiggled on the vibrator. I laughed, half-delirious with the black adrenaline
that was pounding through my body, and I said:

"Okay. Here goes."

I put the candle under her other breast and moved it in tiny circles to cover a
larger area, letting the flame lick over her nipple. The pain came slower this
time, but it still came quick, and after a few seconds a dull whine began in
her throat and after a few more seconds she tossed back her head and writhed
away from the flame.

But her pain was more intoxicating than I could've imagined, and I didn't want
to let her get away. I wanted to hurt her so badly it made me dizzy. All my
prearranged sentiments of love and selflessness were gone and all that was left
over was a dumb lust for her suffering. I wanted her to feel the fire, to feel
the helplessness, to know that now, in this moment, she would feel whatever I
wanted her to feel and nothing else.

And right now I wanted her to hurt.

So I shot out a hand and seized a handful of her hair, dragging her back toward
me. She gave a muffled meep of surprise at the rough yanking, but she came
willingly. I was holding the candle out, away from her body for the moment, and
I pulled her face right into mine, mashing our foreheads together so that I
could stare into her eyes. She was panting into the gag and I was panting as
well, giddy and trembly and half-crazed with the dark lust.

"Don't fucking move," I said. "This is what you wanted. Now shut up and take it
like a slut."

She nodded quickly into my face and I held her with her head pressed against
mine as I moved the candle under her chest. She kept her eyes locked onto mine
obediently, so obediently, and I could see the pain and the tears building in
them as the flame burned into her breast. I could feel the breath blasting from
her nostrils and she began whining in pain.

How many seconds? It felt like forever. She tried to be as still and quiet as
she could, but it was impossible. She choked out a scream into the gag and
instantly she began to writhe. But her hands were still tied behind her back
and I still had a handful of her hair. She tried to thrash her head away, but
all the adrenaline seemed to have caused a fit of vampiric strength in me, and
my grip didn't even loosen. I kept her forehead crushed to mine and my tongue
licked out unconsciously, as if to taste her tears.

Muffled screams filled the room and the plates on the table rattled as she
writhed on the vibrator, kicking out with her legs and trying to twist away.
But I held her firm and I kept the candle where it was. The scream became a
howl of agony and the howl was chopped off in a broken sob as her breath
whooped in her charred chest and tears streamed down her face. She was choking
on the gag and crying and twisting weakly and the smell of burnt flesh rose up
between us.

A sense of dark wonder had stolen over me and I enjoyed her pain far longer
than I should have. Finally I let her go for no real reason that I could name.
It wasn't guilt, or panic, or anything like that. I simply felt that she had
suffered enough.

She wrenched away instantly and collapsed across the table, knocking over a
wine glass. Red liquid spread over the tabletop and the glass rolled and fell
over the edge and shattered on the linoleum floor. Alice lay there on her side,
tied and gagged, her half-naked body shaking and sweating. She'd rolled off the
vibrator and it was humming against the wooden tabletop. I picked it up and
switched it off.

Well.

That was fun.

I giggled. I felt like a fucking psychopath, but I couldn't help it. Alice was
laying there with her naked butt pointed at me, her hands tied behind her back,
and she looked like suck a pathetic little slut that I really had to laugh. It
was cute, really, but fuck. What kind of crazy-ass bitch could possibly enjoy
having her tits scorched with a candle?

I was still holding the candle, and idly I touched the flame to my own breast.
I couldn't hold it there two seconds before jerking it away. I couldn't imagine
what it must've felt like for her. I mean, really; what a dumb little whore.

Grinning, I patted her naked butt affectionately and helped her up. She was
exhausted and soaked with sweat, her hair wet as if she'd just stepped out of
the shower. Her mascara stained her cheeks in the paths of her tears and her
eyes were lidded and weeping. I untied the gag from around her head and plucked
out the panties from her mouth. She collapsed against me, panting. I patted her
back.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

Her panting turned into a giggle and she swallowed a few times to get her
breath. "Oh my god," she gasped. "That was amazing. I can't believe you did
that, baby. Did you like it?"

She pulled back a little to look at my face. The delirium had worn off a little
by now, but I smiled.

"I loved it," I said.

She smiled. I looked at her chest and I felt a resurgence of dark wonder. Her
upper chest was black and sootstained and the underside of her right breast was
covered in an ugly red burn, the flesh peeling and weeping. It must've been
agony. She followed my gaze and giggled. She didn't mention it and instead
asked:

"Wanna finish me off, baby?"

Her words could've been taken in two ways, but I nodded. She smirked, turned
around, and lay facedown in the table with her ass in the air. I smiled, candle
in one hand, vibrator in the other. Her pussy was wet and gaping. I set the
vibrator onto it's highest setting and inserted it inside her.

"Yes," she moaned. "Oh, god. Keep going, baby. Keep—oww!"

I had dripped wax onto her ass. Her whole body quivered and her squeal of pain
morphed into a giggle. I smiled and angled the vibrator up and down inside her,
poking it into every corner of her vagina.

"Oh god," she moaned. "That's so good. More wax, baby. Come on, do it again.
Just a bit more, just—"

I tilted the candle and watched the little red drips spatter onto the perfectly
smooth skin of her ass. She shrieked playfully and clenched down on the
vibrator, laughing as I pushed it in deeper and took it out and pushed it back
in again. I blew gently on the wax, watching it cool, dark red marks like
stains in her white skin.

"Can you reach my clit, baby?" she panted. "Please? I'm gonna come. Quick,
baby, make me come. Oh please, I love you so much, just make me—just make
me—just make me—!"

I had leaned and started suckling at her clit and she trailed off as the orgasm
exploded inside her. It was so powerful it made her scream, a helpless highnote
that rose higher and higher like the wail of a banshee as her ass shook in
ecstasy and bucked back into my face hard enough to almost break my nose.

Then she collapsed among the dinner plates and wine glasses. She had knocked
over the other candle and it hissed out as wax spilled onto the white
tablecloth. She was covered with sweat all over again and the vibrator was
still droning away in her numb little pussy. Smiling, I took it out, turned it
off, and licked a little of her juices from it. Then I put the toy down and
caressed her thigh as she recovered herself from the massive orgasm.

To be honest, I was quite proud of myself. Not only had I unleashed a truly
dark side, but I don't remember ever making Alice come that hard in my life.
Sometimes she liked to fake-scream—it made it more fun, she said—but this time
it was real. All in one evening I had made my girlfriend scream in both pain
and ecstasy. Quite an accomplishment, really.

The only light in the room came from the candle in my hand and she was very dim
in it's glow. I was insanely horny, so horny I had pussy juice dripping down my
thighs. I was tempted to slap her ass and order an orgasm out of her, but I
didn't do that dominant stuff for my benefit. I only did it for her, and she
was done, and I didn't want to abuse her anymore. So I dusted the dry wax from
her gorgeous ass and said:

"You okay?"

"Yes," she gasped. "Oh god, yes."

With a moan, she lurched up into sitting position. She blinked at me languidly
in the soft uplight of the candle and smiled. "Baby," she said. "I want you to
know…that was the best I've ever been fucked in my whole life. Kiss me."

I kissed her, and as I kissed her I reached behind her back and untied the
stocking from around her wrists. As soon as her arms were free, she wrapped
them around me. Then she wrapped her legs around me. I raised up on my toes,
pressing my chest against hers, and I felt the heat of her burns against my
breasts.

I was afraid I was hurting her and I pulled back suddenly. I was still
incredibly horny, but my dominant desires had dissipated along with Alice's
orgasm, and I felt bad. The candlelight was very dim, but I could still see the
angry red wounds, the blistered skin, the smoke stains. It felt so wrong to see
something so hideous on Alice's body, and I was filled with remorse. But she
only giggled and covered them with her forearm.

"Don't look, baby," she said. "I told you it would be ugly."

"It's not ugly," I assured her. "It's just… Does it hurt?"

"It'll be fine in an hour or so. Don't worry about it."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It was awesome."

Still covering her breasts, she picked up the candle from the table and looked
at it. It was half burnt down and tendrils of wax clung to the side. She stared
at the flame and her pretty eyes seemed subdued in the dimness.

"Do you want to burn me?" I asked.

The idea of getting burnt the same way as I burnt her was scary, but I was
prepared for anything. Her eyes moved to mine and she smiled. Then she blew out
the candle and bathed us both in darkness.

"No," she whispered from somewhere in the blackness. "I just wanna stick my
tongue in you."

Excitement skittered through me, and I grinned as she slid down from the table
and knelt on the floor at my feet. I couldn't see her, but I could feel her. I
felt her hands push up my dress, and for a second I felt her breath on my
entrance, and finally I felt the tip of her tongue poke between my folds and
wriggle into my core.

—

We didn't bother cleaning up afterwards, or even go to bed. We just cuddled in
the corner on the kitchen floor, passing a bottle of wine back and forth. Alice
was reclining between my legs and I kept kissing her hair. The overhead light
was on and the room was nice and bright. There was a broken glass on the floor,
a small puddle of wine, and a dinner roll. I regarded the debris, smiled into
her hair, and said:

"I guess we're skipping dessert."

Alice giggled. "I guess so."

She was still wearing her shredded red dress, and on a whim, I pulled aside one
of the flaps to check her breasts. They were all better. Smooth and white and
perfectly unblemished. I felt a surge of relief, even though I'd known the
damage wouldn't be permanent, and I replaced the flap to cover her.

"They're already healed," I said.

"Mmhm. Told you Vampire's regenerate very quickly."

I kissed her hair. It smelled so sweet; like soap and orchids.

"Cool," I said.

"Mmhm," she giggled. She turned to me with a foxy smirk. "So if you ever want
to do anything like thatagain…"

She let it trail off and kissed me.

My eyes didn't close for the kiss and a cold feeling passed over me as her
words replayed in my head:

If you want to do something like that again.

I honestly didn't know if I ever would. It was weird, but now that it was all
over, I was having strange regrets. It was fun—in a dark and twisted way—and
Alice had really loved it and come really hard, but wasn't stuff like that
wrong? It felt wrong. The wrongness had been exhilarating while it was
happening, but now it just felt…kind of wrong.

Alice pulled back from the kiss and smiled. "So, what did you think?" she said.
"It was really your first time with something that hardcore. Did you like it?"

"I think so," I said. "But…"

"But what?"

I had a moment's indecision, but Alice and I had loved each other for a long
time, and we were getting married soon – it was probably okay to talk about our
anxieties. So I gave a little shrug, to soften it, and said:

"Well, isn't it wrong to enjoy that stuff? I mean, it's okay for you because
you're a vampire, but I'm just a regular human. Doesn't all this make me kind
of fucked up?"

"You're not completely human," she said. "You're almost turned, remember? The
venom makes you lusty. Very lusty."

I sighed; that made sense. But…

"I guess so," I said. "I suppose I'm just a little shocked that I'm capable of
all that. I mean, it doesn't make sense. I love you…but it's fun to watch you
in pain? It's crazy."

"It's not crazy. It's hot."

"So you're cool with all this?"

Alice took a swig from the wine bottle and nodded. She lowered the bottle to
her lap and shrugged a shoulder. The flap of her dress fell away, exposing her
breast, but she didn't notice.

"I think so," she said. "I mean, it would've been nice if we could've been
perfectly normal, but you're right. I'm a monster. I was prepared to keep all
that as hidden as possible, but why deny it when we can enjoy it? Especially
since you're cool with it. You like dating a demon, don't you baby?"

"I don't want to date her," I said. "I want to marry her."

She smiled. There was a certain brightness in it, as if I had triggered some
idea she'd been thinking about. She glanced aside coyly and back at me.

"Actually, I've been thinking about that."

"Thinking about what?"

"The wedding," she said. "The engagement. Thing is, I feel really stupid for
waiting for you to propose the way you did. I should've proposed myself, but…"

She sighed and gestured with her hand. It was the hand with the ring, and the
ring distracted her for a second. She smiled and lowered the hand to her lap.

"I guess I was guilty," she said. "I had been truly prepared to let you go,
baby. To let you live and be happy with someone else. Not even knowing that I'd
died for you on a different continent. I didn't care. I just wanted you to be
happy."

I raised up slightly, unleaning from the kitchen cupboard. The talk seemed
serious all the sudden. Alice was looking at the ring in her lap and then she
looked at me.

"But then you came back to me," she said. "And I was conflicted. As much as I
wanted you, I knew deep in my heart that I was bad for you. That I'd always
been bad for you."

She paused. I wanted to assure her that wasn't true, that she was the best
thing that ever happened to me – but I didn't want to interrupt her. She sighed
and went on.

"So I tried to rationalize it in my head," I said. "I gave you control of the
relationship, and I was determined to only do what you wanted. Because then it
wouldn't be my fault. It wouldn't be my fault if you were the one who decided
everything. But you were still very passive, so I had to hint a little. I
suggested getting an apartment and turning you. I even asked you to make it
special for me. I really suck at trying to be selfless, don't I?"

I couldn't let that one slide, and I quickly grabbed her hand, and said: "You
don't suck, Alice."

It wasn't the best consolation—and technically vampires do suck—but it made her
smile. She looked down at my hand and patted it. "The point is," she said, "I
was trying to treat you properly. But I know now how silly that is. Not only is
it impossible for me, but it isn't even what you want. I understand that now.
You love me. You really do. You love me so much that you're prepared to give
yourself to me utterly and completely. Heart. Body. Soul."

I nodded, my heart soaring. "I do, Alice," I said. "I'm so glad you
understand."

"Me too," she said. "Because now I know what have to do. I have to be worthy of
you. I can't keep pretending to be normal if that's not what you want. I need
to be stronger. Waiting for you to propose was the cowardly way out, so let's
pretend it never happened. Let's start all over again."

That seemed a little odd, but an even odder excitement had come over her, so I
nodded anyway. "Okay," I said. Alice was a kooky girl, and sometimes it was
best to simply agree.

She grinned and put the wine bottle up on the kitchen counter above us. Then
she looked at me and took a deep breath, as if preparing to say something
really important.

"Baby," she said. "I love you."

Usually I'd repeat the same thing back, but I was so off-guard I said: "I
know."

It pleased her. Her smile went wider and she looked down for a second at the
engagement ring. Then she pulled the ring off her finger and smiled at it. I
gave it a puzzled look and turned my puzzled eyes to Alice. She took another
deep breath and smiled at me.

"Okay," she said. "This is it. From now on I'm going to be the demon you want
me to be. No more pretending. I want you, baby. I want everything. Your heart,
your body, your soul. Most of all, I want your life. It's the most precious
thing you have, and I want you to give it to me. So. This is me formally
asking."

Suddenly I realized what she was doing. Smiling, she lifted the engagement ring
and offered it to me. My mouth fell open and I had forgotten how to breathe.

"Isabella Marie Swan," she said. "Will you marry me?"

I couldn't believe it.

The wave of joy that washed over me took me more by surprise than the proposal
itself. What was happening? Alice was proposing? How? Weren't we already
engaged? What—?

My answer must've been pretty clear in my face, because she smiled at my
silence.

"Baby?"

I gasped as I remembered how to breathe. I couldn't believe what was happening.
Never in my life had I ever thought I'd be answering this question. And now I
was saying: "Yes."

That's it. The one word came out and nothing else, no outpouring of emotion, no
gushing joy. I just sat there on the kitchen floor, frozen as if afraid of
ruining a special moment, unaware that the special moment was mine. Alice
giggled.

"So, that's a yes, then?"

It snapped me out of it and I started nodding without realizing. 'Yes," I
repeated. "Yes, yes, oh fuck yes. Of course I will, Alice, you fucking know I
will."

I threw myself at her in a hug, and she giggled and wrapped her arms around me.
"It's no big deal, baby," she said. "We were already engaged, remember?"

"I know, but oh my god." I pulled away from the hug, still pleasantly stunned.
I knew we were already engaged, but it was such a sweet gesture, and, and— "I
mean, this is… this is…"

She was threading the ring onto my finger. I cried. Seriously. I cried tears of
joy. I couldn't help it. I'd picked out the ring especially for Alice, but it
looked really cute on me too. I looked at it, my heart full to bursting, and
then I launched myself again at my fiancé who had already been my fiancé.

"Oh god, I love you, Alice," I gushed. "This is so awesome. "Thank you so much.
You have no idea how much this means to me. Not just the ring, but the wedding
night. Thank you for wanting me that much. It would be so meaningless if you
didn't want it."

She stroked my back and whispered in my ear. "I want it, baby," she said. "More
than you know."

I blubbered in joy on her shoulder, gripping her like a momma-bear. "Oh god," I
said. "I love you, Alice. I love you so much. I—"

But suddenly words were not enough and I kissed her. I grabbed her face and I
kissed her with as much passion as I had inside me, moaning into her mouth. But
then that wasn't enough, either. I needed to kiss her where she truly felt it,
felt it most, and after feeling up her skirt a little bit—to make sure she had
gotten wet—I dropped my mouth from hers abruptly, pushed her dress around her
hips, and attacked her pussy with my tongue.

Alice giggled, stroking my hair as if I was a pet, and oh indeed I was a pet, I
was a very grateful pet, affectionate and totally devoted to my beautiful
mistress. Alice usually liked it slow and steady, but my tongue appeared to be
a little frantic, and I just could not stop licking her as fast as possible.

"Thanks, baby," she said, still petting my hair. "Just don't forget that you
can change your mind if you want to, okay? I'll never make you do anything you
don't want. Your consent is everything. If it doesn't feel right to you…just
let me know."

I felt a small flicker of doubt, but it was quickly consumed in the waves of
joy that were still washing over me. Alice wanted me, she really did. She was
only giving me a chance to back out because it was the right thing to do. She
didn't expect me to back out, and she certainly didn't want me to. She—

Her hand clenched in my hair and she pulled my head up suddenly. She smiled and
I blinked at her, licking my pussy-juice covered lips, awaiting some command.

"C'mon," she said. "Let's celebrate properly."

And suddenly she jumped to her feet, dragging me with her. I giggle, stumbling
drunkenly in my heels, and she scooped me up in her arms, bridal style. I
wrapped my arms around her neck and let her wisk me away toward the bedroom.
Yet as she turned at the archway, I saw the plates on the table and the
glasses, and amazingly I said:

"What about the dishes?"

But she didn't seem to care about the dishes. She took me into our new bedroom
in our new apartment and promptly tossed me onto the bed where I bounced and
giggled and let my legs fall open. Alice pulled off her dress, revealing her
naked form, exquisite, perfect, unblemished. There was no trace of the burns or
wax, there was only Alice, beautiful Alice.

Smiling, she climbed onto the bed and between my legs. She took two handfuls of
my dress and ripped it open, tearing it away from my body and discarding it
over the side of the bed. My heart fluttered with joy as she lowered her warm
and naked body across mine, and I wrapped my legs around her and held her tight
and accepted her tongue into my mouth. My pussy was throbbing with renewed lust
and soon her lips had fallen on my neck. I laughed at the pleasant pain of her
fangs, and opened my eyes. I could see the light in the ceiling and I kept my
naked legs wrapped tightly around her as she fed, holding her as close to me as
possible. I never wanted to let her go, and yet for a moment I did. I let go
with one arm and stuck my hand out into the air to admire the engagement ring.
I smiled at it breathlessly with Alice's fangs in my neck and Alice's venom
spreading through my body. Her hips were rubbing against mine and I gasped
whenever our clits bumped. I loved her so much, more than anything in the
world, and I had to tell her.

"I love you, Alice," I panted. "I love you so much."

—

***** Chapter 38 *****
—

Chapter 38:

—

The wedding preparations were soon in full swing. Alice forthwith assumed
command of the operation and set her various family members at various tasks.
Everybody had an assigned duty aside from me, Rosalie, and Victoria. Neither
the blonde nor the redhead had made contact with Alice since the announcement
of our engagement, and I was generally too useless to actually handle
preparations. Alice preferred to simply keep me at her side so that she could
make out with me whenever the urge struck her. It suited me just fine.

I followed her everywhere, to interviews with planners and caterers, a quiet
girl at her fiancé's elbow, nodding demurring and with quiet excitement. Alice
valued my input, but I had little input that wasn't complete and total
agreement to everything she suggested. Alice handled most of the planning.
Since neither of us are religious, and one of us is literally a satanic slut,
we opted to forego a church ceremony. Alice would've enjoyed the
traditionalism, but it didn't seem worth the risk of having the church roof
collapse on us in divine fury at the blasphemy of our unholy union.

So we arranged to have the wedding at Tanya's mansion, and soon the gardens
were adorned with a whitewood altar and canopy. It would've been difficult to
keep it secret, so the french girl had gotten permission from her father and
even invited him and several other members of her family and friends. Alice
wanted a large wedding and she wasn't particularly fussed where the guests came
from. The only person she really required to be there was me.

Over the next couple months the event slowly took shape and soon I found myself
at a popular Parisian dressmaker, side by side with my lovely fiancé,
surrounded by mirrors as stood on a tiny round platform. It was our third
fitting and we'd gone alone, just us. Alice had almost made a career out of
dress-hunting, and we had selected two each, one for the ceremony, one for the
reception.

The ones we were wearing now were the reception dresses, so they were simpler
and more comfortable. Briefly, we had discussed the possibility of one of us in
a tux or even a skirt-suit, but she was adamant on making a bride of me and she
simply couldn't abide anything for herself that didn't have ruffles.

Still, she kept her own dress very simple, in order to highlight my own. It was
off-white, almost cream, a tiny gown of chiffon with a satin belt bow around
her middle. My own was pure white and far more elaborate. A halter gown with a
mermaid bodice that clung tightly to the curves of my waist and hips before
flaring out into a tiered train of white lace ruffles.

We were standing side by side on the little platform, and even though the
dresses looked a little odd with our sneakers and boots, I had to admit that
our reflections in the mirrors did fill me with a very warm glow of
fulfillment. This was the dress I was going to wear on my last day alive. The
dress that my infernal lover was going to remove from my body before claiming
it forever.

Fucking. Awesome.

Alice smiled and held my arm, tilting her head to touch my shoulder. "Wow," she
said, gazing happily at the mirrors. "We really make a beautiful couple, don't
we?"

I threaded my fingers with hers. "You'd look cute with anyone."

"But best with you."

"Best with me," I agreed. "But isn't it bad luck to see the bride in her
wedding dress before the wedding?"

Alice giggled and turned to me with a smile, holding my hands. "Baby, look at
everything that's already happened to us," she said. "How much worse could our
luck possibly get?"

I suppose she had a point. When the complications of your relationship lead you
to happily embrace double suicide, you really have to admit that perhaps fate
doesn't favor you. And yet if we've learnt anything together, it's that things
can always get worse. Victoria was still out there, for instance, a distant
threat with red hair and big boobs. Although I had to admit that even I had
stopped worrying about her. The wedding would provide a grand stage for her to
exact some kind of revenge, but a theatric objection during the ceremony really
wasn't her style, and after the wedding we'd have nothing to fear from her at
all. We'd have nothing to fear from anything – least of all bad luck.

Still, bad luck could come in all shapes and sizes. It wasn't limited strictly
to relationship ending disasters, and in the spirit of cheerful optimism, I
suggested: "It could rain during the wedding."

But she suddenly lit up with a smile, as if this was the missing piece to the
whole affair. "Hey, that might be pretty cool," she said, beginning to nod.
"Actually, yeah, that would be awesome. What do you think, baby? Wouldn't it be
amazing to get married in the rain, with our dresses all soaked, water dripping
from our veils? Can you picture it?"

I actually could. It would be romantic in a sad kind of way, the perfect
setting for our relationship. On a gothic cliffside somewhere, just the two of
us, our gowns billowing in the cold gusts of wind. And then maybe we could even
jump off the cliff together – after Alice had fed from me, of course. But
really, I could picture it.

"I think so," I said. "It could be pretty cool."

She smiled, as if she was picturing the same thing. Then she dropped my hands
and sighed. "Shame we can't actually do it," she said. "It's difficult to make
it rain when you want it to and it would be pretty silly if everyone was
sitting under a canopy with me and you in the rain."

That could be solved if we didn't invite anyone. Honestly, I wasn't sold on the
idea of a big wedding. Alice wanted plenty humans around in order to force her
sisters to behave, but I didn't see the point. It was all fake, anyway.
Carlisle had arranged a fake birth certificate and marriage license, and
neither of us really knew any of the guests. What would be the difference
between an actual wedding or just sneaking off somewhere and reciting the vows
to each other in private?

"How many people are actually going to be there?" I asked.

Alice was admiring her dress in the mirror, smoothing the fabric against her
body. "Not sure," she said. "Carlisle and Esme are working on the guest list
now. We can pop over and check in with them after we've been to the florist if
you want. I think two hundred guests is enough for a goodish sized wedding."

Maybe it was just me, but two hundred seemed like a lot of people. "Do you
really know that many people?"

"Oh, we'll find them," she said. "Tanya's got a huge list all of her own, and
Carlisle and Esme have heaps of friends, and there's plenty of people from work
I can invite, even though I've barely said hello. It'll be a good way to
pretend to get to know them. And, of course, Leah and Jane know tons of
chicks."

She was still admiring her dress, this time from behind. She had her back to
the mirrors and she was poking her ass out slightly, as if to gauge it's
cuteness. It looked extremely tempting, wrapped in such soft-looking chiffon,
but I only glanced and kept the conversation on topic.

"Are you sure it's okay having total strangers at our wedding, though?"

"Sure, why not? They're only ornaments, really."

I guess that made sense. Given the choice, I would've preferred a solo
impromptu ceremony with just me and Alice, but we couldn't exclude the coven,
and I suppose two hundred strangers was better than just a handful of vampires
who may or may not have sex on the dancefloor. Which reminded me:

"Will there be other vampires there?"

I'd been curious about this for a while, but never asked. None of the Cullens
ever talked about other vampires and sometimes I wondered if they were the only
ones. It would be pretty cool if they were, considering it was Alice who turned
them all.

Alice turned her side to the mirror, preening her bosom. "Nope," she said.
"We've never met any other vampires. For all I know, we might be the only
vampires in the world."

"Wow," I said. "So that would, like, make you the original vampire."

I noticed my slip up as soon as the words were out. I'd been distracted by her
tits. For a second I prayed that she wouldn't notice what I said, but her body
straightened instantly and a look of child-like terror swept over her face.

"What?" she whispered.

I couldn't believe how badly I'd fucked up. Alice had no idea that I knew the
truth of how she had became a vampire. It was a secret so hard for her to live
with that in six hundred years she had never told a soul. She had lied to
everybody who had ever asked and even lied to herself.

And now she knew that I knew.

I stood there in my wedding dress, fidgeting with one of the ruffles. I was so
afraid I'd disappointed her that I couldn't even speak. But she didn't look
angry. Only sad.

"You know," she said. "Don't you?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "Jane told me."

"How long have you known?"

I bit my lip, blinking back tears. "Since I first came to Paris," I said.
"Don't blame Jane, okay? It was my fault. I was looking for a reason to fall in
love with you again, and I thought maybe there was something in your past,
something that would…"

I trailed off, realizing that I'd fucked up again. A pained look flittered
across her face and she blinked with her huge eyes.

"I thought you always loved me," she whispered. "I thought you never stopped."

Maybe this would've been a good time to come clean, to explain to her that I'd
actually had a girlfriend after she left. But I couldn't. I couldn't disappoint
her like that. None of that mattered, anyway, all that mattered was that I had
to make her feel better. "I did always love you, Alice," I said, which wasn't
really a lie. "But I needed something extra, something real. I was tired of
loving a dream. I wanted to love you. The real you."

Some of the tension went out of her shoulders. "It doesn't repulse you?" she
said. "Knowing that I was…"

I had no idea if she was actually going to say the word, but I wouldn't even
risk it. I stepped forward and put a finger to her lips. The softness of them
sent tingles through my finger and up my arm and all through my body. "Don't,"
I said, letting the finger drop. "Nothing about you will ever repulse me,
Alice. You're the prettiest, sweetest, most amazing woman I could ever imagine.
I love you. I'm honored to marry you."

She released a shuddery breath and blinked. A couple tears fell, but she didn't
notice them. "I was going to tell you," she said. "The night before the
wedding. I wanted you to be the only person I ever told."

"You still can," I said. "Whenever you're ready, Alice. I'll listen to anything
you have to say. And I'll be there for you however you need me."

A watery smile lit up her face. "Baby," she said, her voice breaking, and
before she could say any more, I leaned and kissed her, softly on the corner of
her lips, then again and again, pressing my lips firmer each time. She sniffed
and wrapped her arms around me, leaning into the kiss.

I could never hate her for her past, and I used the kiss to show her exactly
how much I loved her, how much I admired her and worshiped her. I cupped the
nape of her neck and caressed her soft skin, requesting entry by licking her
bottom lip. She opened her mouth and I brushed my tongue against hers as I let
my other hand roam the fabric of her dress. The material was so soft and flimsy
it was almost like touching her body itself.

I moaned into her mouth with growing desire, and slowly I lowered my hand to
the seat of her dress. Her ass. So soft. The dress was cocktail-style and it
only fell to her knees. I took a fistful of the material and hiked it up,
slipping my hand into her panties and gripping her bare butt, a dull roaring in
my chest. She was moaning softly and after a moment I broke the kiss, smiling
over her shoulder at the reflection in the mirror which showed her pretty white
dress hiked up around her hips and my hand stuffed into her pretty white
panties.

"Your ass is so hot," I hissed in her ear.

It wasn't the most romantic or tender proclamation, but it made her giggle. I
kissed her again, deeper this time, moving my hand to the front of her panties,
slipping my fingers inside her silky folds. She was almost moist and soon I had
her wet and moaning, and finally I dropped to my knees in my wedding gown and
ate her out, my fingers gripping into her ass as I hugged her pussy to my
mouth.

"Oh baby," she moaned, standing on tiptoes, hands scrunched in my hair. "I love
you, baby. I love you."

Alice felt much better afterwards, she always did after a fresh fuck. I was
lucky to have a girlfriend who's moods were so easily soothed. It was almost a
shame we weren't getting married for real. Between her susceptibility to sex,
and my eagerness to provide it, we would've been a very happy couple.

I was just glad she wasn't mad at me, but after a while I realized that I'd
really done nothing wrong. Alice was the one who had lied, I was the one who'd
done some minor snooping with her sister. Then again, I suppose me and Alice
were beyond blame and forgiveness at this point in our relationship. The more I
thought about it, the more I realized that there was nothing in the world I
wouldn't forgive her for. She could literally stab me in the back and laugh
about it, and I'd not only forgive her, I'd offer my front too. But then I
remembered what Alice had said about limits and gerbils, and I realized that
maybe my forgiveness has limits as well. Stabbing me in the back would be okay,
but if she cheated on me with a guy, for instance, I think I can safely admit
that I would kick her skanky ass to the curb. She wouldn't even be my Alice
anymore.

But Alice would never do anything like that. She didn't even want her sisters
anymore, women who were both dear to her heart and really fucking sexy. As far
I knew she hadn't even touched Tanya. Humans in general were of little interest
to her. After all, mine was the only blood she could tolerate. She had almost
starved to death before I came to Paris.

Of course, that didn't stop her from flirting with humans, and right in front
of me, too. Like the florist, a cute little brunette name Kate. She was an
American living in Paris, and she spoke perfect English, which allowed me
perfectly understand all the little hints and signals that Alice would casually
toss at her. Alice was a vain girl in many ways, and she enjoyed making girls
blush. It was harmless enough. It even made me smile. Alice could be the most
charming girl in the world when she wanted to be, and I couldn't blame the
little florist for soaking up the glow a little.

So I let them rattle on about different kinds of flowers and arrangements,
standing at my fiancé's side, quietly amused at how the other woman would blush
as Alice profusely flattered her immense talent at all things floral. The woman
was about thirty-five years old and attractive in a simple way. She obviously
had no experience dealing with the vaguely flirty adulation of another
woman—and an obvious lesbian, too—and a couple times she even glanced at me, to
see if I might be getting pissed. I acted as if it was all normal, which seemed
to set her at ease and convince her she was maybe misinterpreting things.

But she was eager to please Alice, and when Alice suggested a certain a idea
for the bridal bouquet, the small woman quickly hustled into the back room to
see if she could arrange a sample. Alice watched her go, flickering her eyes
over the woman's jeans, and then turned to me. She saw my dry expression and
smiled innocently.

"What?"

I grinned and shook my head. She giggled and turned to the rows of flowers at
her side, letting her eyes drift over them. A vase of tulips caught her eyes
and she reached for one. It was dark red, the color of blood. She held it by
the stem and smiled at it.

"Do you know why I love tulips, baby?"

I had no idea, but I was eager to learn. Alice's preferences were always
fascinating to me, especially the sexual ones. Still, flowers were cool too.

"Why?" I asked.

"They symbolize perfect love."

I frowned at the flower, somewhat skeptical. I liked tulips, but perfect love
seemed a little epic to be embodied by such a simple flower. "They do?"

She nodded, turning the flower by it's stem. "The red ones do," she said.
"Tulips originated in Persia and Turkey, and there was an old Turkish legend.
Apparently there was this prince named Farhad who was struck with love by a
beautiful maiden named Shirin. But when he found out that Shirin had been
killed, he was so overcome with grief that he killed himself by riding his
horse off a cliff. It was said that a crimson tulip sprang up in each drop of
his blood, thus giving the red tulip the meaning of perfect love – love where
you'd rather die than be without your lover."

I nodded, my slow mind wondering if she was trying to suggest that the legend
related to us. We had the whole death-suicide thing planed out, but neither of
us were Turkish, and I didn't even know how to ride a horse. Still, I
understood the basic theme; love so strong you can't live without it. That part
of it described Alice and I perfectly.

"That's beautiful," I said.

"Yes," she said, half-mesmerized by the flower. She snapped out of it and
giggled. "Aside from the animal cruelty, at least. I can understand killing
oneself, but it's simply barbaric to take a horse with you."

I smiled at how she softened the topic and I took the flower out of her hands.
I looked at it closely, but it didn't really move me, symbolism or not. I
looked at Alice, and Alice did move me. One glance at her perfect face and my
perfect love was washing over me in a warm wave.

"Do you think that's what we have?" I asked. "Perfect love?"

I was expecting her to agree and create a tender moment out of it where we
renewed our death-pact perhaps, but she only giggled and took the flower back.
"There's no such thing as perfect," she said. "After all, even the legend that
inspired the symbolism was a tragedy. All flowers wilt. It's sad, but it's
inevitable. In the end, the only way to truly achieve perfect love is to die in
the pursuit of it – at the peak of it's passion."

"Like us."

"Like us."

I nodded and watched her replace the flower back into the vase in the exact
spot from where she'd gotten it. There something subdued in the movement,
something reluctant. As if she was afraid of hurting the flower. But I ignored
the flicker of anxiety in my stomach. Alice had just admitted the only way to
achieve perfect love was to die for it; who cares if she put the flower back a
little slowly.

"Are you going to tell anyone what we're going to do?" I asked.

"Just Jane," she said. "She's the closest thing I have to true sister and I
feel she should know. Plus, there's some preparations, and someone will have to
take care of us afterwards. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Are you going to tell anyone?"

I chuckled. "Who would I tell?" I legitimately had no clue, that's how far
detached I was from my life in Forks.

Alice shrugged a shoulder gently. "Well, what about your mom?" she suggested.
"Shouldn't you at least say goodbye?"

A bad feeling welled in my stomach at the mention of mom, but I ignored it.
"No," I said. "It would just be cruel." I didn't think I could bare to say
goodbye, anyway. What would I tell her? Sorry, mom, I'm committing suicide with
Alice. But thanks for raising me and loving me all these years.

Even over the phone I could never do it. Mom had never understood my feelings
for Alice, and I doubted a death-pact would help her see the beauty of them. It
would be too embarrassing to even admit.

"Are you sure?" Alice went on, prodding gently. "Don't you owe it to her to let
her know what you're doing with your life?"

I felt a flicker of suspicion. Alice knew my mom would only try to talk me out
of it and beg me to come home. I never would, but why would she want to give
her that chance? Did she need proof of my commitment? Or did she want me to
have doubts? Or was she just—

"I can't, Alice," I said, deciding not to think about it. Besides, what would
it matter? There was nothing anybody could say that would change my mind. On my
wedding night I'm giving myself to Alice. All of myself.

She nodded, evidently deciding not to press me. She sighed sadly and put her
hands at my waist, staring down at my chest, as if she couldn't bring herself
to look into my eyes. "I'm so sorry, baby," she said. "I never meant to bring
you to all this. All I wanted—"

But I smiled and lifted her chin with a finger. "Hey, I thought you were going
to stop pretending, remember? What happened to my crazy little demon?"

She narrowed her eyes playfully. "Not all of my good side is faked, ya know,"
she said.

I giggled and pulled her into a hug, wrapping her tightly. "I know," I said,
"don't worry. I love all of you, Alice, even your good side. In fact, it was
your good side I first fell in love with."

"That's true," she said. "I just wish it was my only side."

Again, I felt a flicker of suspicion. Why is she saying this stuff, even after
promising she wouldn't? Why can't she understand that she doesn't have to
pretend with me? But rather than explain this to her I decided to show her; I
turned my head and bit her ear. She giggled and I whispered:

"I think you're dark side is sexy."

She pulled back slightly and smiled up at me. "Yeah?"

"Mmhm," I said, and then I leaned and kissed her.

The kiss deepened very quickly, but this wasn't a private fitting room, this
was a flower shop, so I'd only really gotten my hand into her pants when we
were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat from right
beside us.

Alice and I sprung apart. The small florist had returned from the back room. We
hadn't even noticed her. She had an amused expression on her face and part of a
blush. Alice and I had been making out with the gusto of pornstars and
sometimes even straight chicks found that hot.

Alice gave a guilty giggle. "Sorry," she said. "Newly engaged. We can't keep
out hands off each other!"

The brunette nodded, obviously a romantic. No one else could've been so
tolerant of such a display. "I understand," she said, and then showed us the
bouquet she'd bought from the back room. "This is the sample I wanted to show
you, from a wedding I did a few months ago."

It was a dense cluster of dark red roses and my first thought was that it was
amazing. Just roses, nothing else. Simple, beautiful, powerful. I could totally
see myself walking down the aisle with it. Alice grinned and took the bouquet
to look at it closer.

"Wow," she said. "It's beautiful. What do you think, baby?"

I was cautious about influencing her with my own preferences—because deep down
I didn't really care—so I just glanced around the shop in well-feigned
amazement. "I think they're all beautiful."

"Yes, but what do you think of these?"

"Um, I don't know. What do you think?"

I sounded stupidly indecisive even to my own ears. Alice gave me a wife-ly head
shake and smiled at the florist. "She's so silly, isn't she? She can never make
up her mind. The only time I ever got a straight answer out of her was when I
asked her to marry me."

The florist chuckled good-naturedly and took the bouquet back. "Well, they say
it's supposed to be the easiest question of a woman's life," she said.

"That's true. Are you married?"

The florist was making little adjustments to the bouquet and the question
seemed to surprise her. "Me? No, no, no. I was engaged once, but it didn't work
out."

"Aww, that's such a shame. You're so pretty!"

It was natural enough to compliment another woman's beauty, but Alice's tone
and expression had a way of making it even more suspicious than if she asked to
see her tits. She might've been a little horny from our brief makeout session;
it wasn't like her to be so obvious.

The florist blushed and glanced at me discreetly. I tried not to roll my eyes.
I didn't feel threatened or upset in the least. I knew how much I meant to
Alice. Besides, the brunette really wasn't even that pretty. Not as pretty as
me.

Alice ignored the other woman's awkwardness, since that was exactly what she
was aiming for, and went on. "And you make such beautiful flowers!" she
exclaimed. "I really love these, but do you think we could see something with
tulips? Baby and I have a thing for tulips, don't we baby?"

Actually, I liked the roses. But if Alice wanted tulips, I guess we were having
tulips. The florist nodded and was already backing away toward the supply room.
"I think I have exactly the thing," she said. "I'll be right back."

Alice looked at her ass as she turned around and I did too. It was small and
round and perfectly nice, but it didn't really drive me crazy. Alice giggled
and turned to me.

"She's cute," she said. "Wanna seduce her?"

I raised an eyebrow. The suggestion took me by surprise, but at the same time
it really didn't. The woman was obviously getting a few sparks of attraction
and it would be a shame to let them go to waste. It almost seemed logical.
Still, for the sake of propriety, I felt I should be the frigid one.

"Seduce her?"

"Sure, why not?"

Well, we were getting married for one thing. But considering just the other
night we'd had Leah and Jane over for dinner and ate them, this wasn't the most
logical objection. So I just shrugged and groped for something more practical.
It's not that I was anxious to get out of it, but there was a big difference
between group-sex with sister-vamps and group-sex with some woman you don't
even know.

"Is she gay?"

Alice giggled. She was very casual about the whole thing, as if she'd only
suggested a game of cards with the woman. "Of course not," she said. "But her
pheromones and elevated heartrate would suggest a bit of girl-girl action isn't
something she's never thought about before. I think we could do it. Wanna try?"

I narrowed my eyes at her playfully. "Whatever happened to the only woman you
want is me?"

Alice pouted and put her hands at my waist. "You are, baby, you really are,"
she said. "I just thought this might be fun, that's all. It's the kind of thing
I used to do before I met you. Meet a nice girl, take her home, drug her. It's
the kind of thing you'd be doing too, if you became a vampire. It might be good
for you to experience it just once, what do you think? It might help you make
up your mind about what you really want on our wedding night. Maybe you'll
discover you'd rather be a vampire."

Again, it felt like she was offering me a substitute, and it gave me a bad
feeling. I had no second thoughts at all, and I doubted a one-night stand with
some random brunette was going to change my mind. What really worried me was
Alice. What if she was the one with second thoughts? What if it was her who
wanted out, but was afraid of mentioning it?

But even at this point in our relationship, I had no idea how Alice's mind
worked, so instead I assumed she was anxious about me and I focused on assuring
her. "I'm never going to change my mind about this, Alice," I said. "I don't
want to be a vampire, all I want to do is show you much I truly love you."

"Then there's no harm having a bit of fun, hm?"

I was disappointed that she blew off my little outpouring of devotion, but I
nodded. "Okay," I said. "If that's what you want."

Alice glanced toward the back room and back at me, smiling. "Just follow my
lead," she said. "And remember, the only woman I truly want is you. This is
just for fun, okay?"

That did make me feel better, since it was obviously true. "Okay."

"Good girl," she said, and then she kissed me.

I got the feeling she wanted the florist to walk in on us making out again, so
I put a bit of extra gross in it. Hard to believe once upon a time I was
frightened of even holding hands in public. By the time the florist came back,
I even had my hand up Alice's top, and when the woman cleared her throat it
sounded more like a squeak.

"Oh," Alice said, springing away and laughing. "Sorry, again. We're not really
like this, I swear, it's just…"

She trailed off artfully, leaving the florist herself to come to her defense.

"It's fine," she said, with a visible blush. "Trust me, I've seen worse."

Alice giggled and I just tried not to shake my head. After all; we weren't
really like this? That might've been the baldest lie I'd ever heard out of
Alice's gorgeous little mouth. The florist even believed her, so I guess she
was going to be fairly surprised when Alice suggested a hot threesome.

"This is a personal arrangement of mine," the florist said, offering the
bouquet. It had tulips in it, but beyond that it didn't appear to create any
kind of sensory impact on me. "It's one of my personal favorites," she said
proudly.

"Wow," Alice breathed, simply oozing phony enthusiasm. "They're perfect. Don't
you think, baby?"

They looked at me for my opinion. I must've been the world's most pathetic
bride, because I honestly did not give a shit about the flowers. Still, I
wanted to make Alice happy, and she had a thing for the tulips, so I nodded
with almost authentic-looking eagerness. "Sure."

The florist was pleased, so I guess my acting was passable. Alice giggled and
fondled the flowers, and then she suddenly looked up at all the other wares, as
if only now noticing them for the first time.

"Everything here is so perfect," she said, "it's really amazing. Are you
available to do the whole wedding?"

The florist was already nodding, but she said, "I'll have to check my schedule,
but I'm sure I can make room."

She had half turned to go check at the counter, but Alice halted her.

"That's great," she said, "but listen. Bella and I have to get going—we have an
appointment for a dress fitting—but I'm just so excited about these flowers. Do
you think we could arrange a more in-depth consultation some time?"

The woman seemed delighted. "Of course, I was about to suggest the same. I make
it a practice to get to know my clients as well as I can, so I can get a
feeling for their tastes and style. When would be convenient for you?"

"Well, how about tonight?"

The suggestion took her mildly by surprise, as if nighttime consultations
weren't precisely normal. She was looking down at her schedule book and now she
closed it. "Tonight?"

Alice went on cheerfully. "Sure, are you free? We'd love to have you over for
dinner. It's a new apartment, we just moved in. We love showing it off, don't
we baby?"

Alice grabbed my arm and hugged it, gazing up at me with a perfectly lovey
dovey expression. Me, I just blushed. I'm sure we must've looked like just
another harmless couple—albeit it a lesbian couple—but I think the florist knew
even then that there was something a little strange about my pretty fiancé,
something a little predatory. But if she did, it didn't seem to caution her.
She reopened her schedule book and gave it a quick glance.

"Um, sure," she said. "Dinner will be fine."

Alice grinned and gave her our address and phone number. She gushed a little
more about how amazing all the flowers were and even hugged the florist goodbye
before we left, calling her Kate as if the woman was her new BFF. When I
glanced back at the door, I caught the woman checking out Alice's ass. I didn't
feel any surge of protectiveness, just pride. Because I owned that ass, and I
was going to own it forever.

Or until the wedding night, at least. It was a little sad, really, but death
always did have it's drawbacks. On one hand it would allow me to show her how
much I love her and ensure that her feelings for me never wane. On the other,
it meant I'd never be able to grope her ass again. It was almost enough to give
me second thoughts, but only almost. Deep in my heart I knew this was the only
way. I just wish Alice would stop making me feel guilty about it. She did want
this…didn't she?

Our next stop was Esme and Carlisle's house out in Quartier Montergueil, a
small triplex with three bedrooms and a fireplace. Not your typical vampire
dwelling, but a nice house. Perfect place to live in, raise a family in. Or to
lure young women unwittingly before drugging and feeding upon them. Did
Carlisle and Esme hunt as a couple, or did they fly solo? Not sure, but I knew
Carlisle had a taste for straight chicks. That was probably why he had never
shown much interest in me. Which was fine with me, since he obviously wasn't my
type. Vagina or not, men's clothes were still kind of off-putting to my
overwhelmingly lesbian nature. If he put on pumps and a red dress I'd probably
spread em quite eagerly, but as long as he stuck with the suit, I think I could
contain my urges.

He was wearing a suit today, too. Esme was in a modest and nice-looking dress –
now that's what I call a woman. She answered the door and led us into the
sitting room, launching immediately into a very human-sounding babble fest
about the wedding, the guests, the invitations, her tone and excitement matched
and even exceeded by Alice. Carlisle was sitting on the sofa with a seating
chart spread over the coffeetable. I nodded him a quiet hello and he nodded
back. Together we ignored the clucking as Alice and Esme went through the
pantomime of offering and refusing coffee, food, a quick orgy perhaps, until
Esme finally sat down beside her husband and clung to his arm. I wondered if
she was wearing any underwear. It was really a very nice dress. Alice sighed,
out of breath possibly, and wandered over to the coffeetable.

"So, how's the guest list coming?" she inquired.

"Up to one hundred and fifty," Carlisle reported. "Mostly colleagues and
family."

Alice nodded, kneeling down on the carpet at the coffeetable. I was still
standing there awkwardly.

"Have you decided on a maid of honor, Alice?" Esme asked.

It sounded like maybe she was fishing for the honor herself, but Alice just
shrugged. "Well, Jane, I guess," she said. Then added with a touch of
sullenness, "Since Rose still isn't talking to me."

Esme nodded, containing her disappointment. Poor woman; not even second choice.
"I spoke to Victoria yesterday," she said. "She said Rosalie doesn't want to go
to the wedding and Victoria won't go without her."

Alice gave another shrug, pretending this news didn't hurt her. "Scratch them
off the list then."

"I thought you might want to go talk to them?" Esme prodded gently. Jealous or
not, she still took her role as momma-vamp very seriously.

Alice snorted. "Why? They're big girls, they can make their own decisions."

I grinned at the expression 'big girls.' Because Rosalie was very tall and
Victoria had very big boobs.

"Now's not the time to be childish, Alice," Esme chided.

"Me, childish?" Alice said, as if such a thing was impossible. "They're the
one's who won't even speak to me."

"Well, after how you treated them, can you really blame them?"

"I'm not going to explain myself all over again, Esme. I fell in love with
someone else. I can't change how I feel. They can either accept that or not.
There's nothing else I can do."

"You could go talk to them."

Alice took a deep breath and ignored her, focusing on the seating chart.
Carlisle looked at me. So did Esme. I got the feeling they expected me to do
something, and suddenly I blurted:

"I could go talk to them."

Actually, I'd been thinking about this for a while. Alice had really had her
heart set on having Rosalie for a maid of honor. It was a bit cruel perhaps,
but she really did love Rosalie, and of all her sisters, Rosalie was really the
only one who had the power to emotionally hurt her. That was why she needed the
blonde's approval. Without the blonde's approval the whole ceremony would be
tainted. I had no idea how I could convince the proud slave to actually attend,
but oddly, it seemed like I was the only person who could.

Alice looked up at me from where she sat on the carpet. "You would?"

Esme cleared her throat. Obviously, I'd said the wrong thing. "That might do
more harm than good, honey," she said. "You're a very sweet girl, but your
presence seems to only infuriate her."

I agreed with her, but I couldn't just do nothing. More than anyone, I knew how
important this was to Alice. "Well, I could at least try."

Alice smiled and shook her head. "It's really not important, baby."

I knelt down beside her and put my arm around her shoulders. "Yes it is," I
said, quite proud of the maturity I was exhibiting. Why, I almost felt like an
adult. "I want this day to be perfect for you, Alice. They're important parts
of your life. They should be there. More importantly, they should be happy for
you."

Alice seemed convinced. She placed a quick kiss on my lips. "Thanks, baby," she
said. "Just be careful, okay? Vicky can be a little dangerous. I don't think
she'll try anything, but…"

I remembered the time she raped me in the locker room – I wouldn't call her
dangerous, just kind of forceful. But I nodded and gave her a quick kiss back.
"Don't worry," I said. "They probably just need someone to remind them how
important they are to you. I'm sure they don't mean to be bitches."

Alice giggled. Esme sighed and rose to her feet. The sun was setting in the
window and she glanced at it. "Well," she said. "Will you girls be staying for
dinner?"

"Actually, we'd better get home," Alice said, still glancing over the seating
chart. "The florist is coming over for a consultation."

Esme nodded, disappointed but unsurprised, and I felt sorry for her. Carlisle
glanced at me with a slightly chiding look, as if it was my fault his wife was
upset, and I figured we could spare a few minutes.

The impending doom of our wedding night had almost had a liberating effect on
both me and Alice, as evidenced by the sudden urge to seduce a florist. Before
the second proposal we'd been too overly concerned with our own relationship to
have much desire to mess around, but now, with the relationship clearly defined
and awaiting it's conclusion, we were cool enough to throw around as many fucks
as were required.

So I turned to Alice and shrugged, hinting strongly but coyly. "Well, that's
not for a couple hours," I said. "I mean, there's no rush, right?"

Alice picked up on the hint, and quickly changed her tune. No woman likes to be
pity-fucked, so she laughed and turned to Esme. "You're a vixen, Esme! All you
gotta do is look at her and she's practically begging for it."

I giggled. "It's her dress, I can't help it."

Esme blushed and smoothed down her dress self-consciously. She must've been
really shy with her body when she was human. Add a little vampire-lust on top
of her natural coyness, and she was one seriously adorable woman. Alice looked
her over and smirked.

"Actually, now that you mention it, that is a really sexy dress." She hopped to
her feet and snaked her arms around the other woman's waist. "Sorry we can't
stay for dinner, but maybe a little snack? Hm? Please, mommy?"

"You know I can't say no to you, Alice," Esme said, delighted.

It was kind of sad, really. She was still young by vampire standards, yet even
so she was desperate for Alice. Alice's venom had created in her an addiction
that was never going to go away, not ever for the rest of her life. I still
remembered how the woman described it back in Forks. A curse, yes; but such a
lovely curse.

Alice had pulled Esme into a kiss and was groping the older woman's ass under
the skirt of her dress. She was wearing white lace panties and the sight really
turned me on. I looked at the doctor and he gave me a little smirk. Maybe it's
because I was already a little horny, but suddenly he seemed much more
attractive. His blonde hair was charmingly swept back from his angelic face,
and even though he wasn't wearing his earrings today, he did look kind of
womanly. So I went over and sat on his lap and let him finger me while I
watched Alice lift Esme's dress over the other woman's head and lean to suck
her nipples. Most fiancés dread their prospective in-laws, but I had a feeling
I was going to get along with mine just fine.

Well, I would've – if I was actually intending to survive my wedding night.

By the time we were all satisfied, Alice and I had to rush home. We jumped into
the shower and got started on dinner. I'd been experimenting with French
recipes lately, and one of my favorites was ratatouille, a vegetable casserole
which was simple and easy to make. While I was cooking, Alice opened up two
bottles of wine, one red, one white. She poured me a glass of the white to sip
on while I cooked, and into the bottle of red she crushed a couple tablets. She
didn't tell me what the pills were, she just smirked. I smiled back, but I felt
a strange fluttering in my stomach. As much as I loved Alice's psycho-side, I
think I preferred it localized on me. It was a tad disquieting to watch her
drug a guest's wine with clearly no conscience at all.

The food was still simmering by the time the florist arrived. Alice had gone to
answer the door and she was babbling excitedly about the apartment and how she
had decorated it herself. The florist, who insisted we call her Kate, had
bought with her a binder full of photographs that she opened up over dinner.
Alice cooed over each arrangement, each bouquet, and I kept nodding and
agreeing with her. All the flowers were really nice, but I honestly had no idea
which ones embodied the spirit of our relationship. Blood orchids? Poisonous
belladonnas? Something sinister seem more our speed, but I was willing to defer
to Alice's judgment when it came to wedding stuff.

The ratatouille had turned out really well, but our guest seemed to enjoy the
wine the most. Alice kept refilling her glass, and soon the bottle was empty,
even though Alice had only had one glass and me none. By the time we'd finished
eating the florist's pupils were so dilated her eyes looked completely black. I
knew enough about drugs to know she was mildly stoned. Alice was laughing with
her and flirting. She didn't even resist that much, just a few giggly protests
that she wasn't a lesbian and anyway weren't we supposed to be getting married?
But my seductive fiancé giggled back that you don't need to be a lesbian to
have a little fun and besides, Alice and I have a special relationship and
sometimes we liked to spend the night with a special friend. The florist had
another glass of wine and soon we had her in bed.

I thought I would feel more guilty about it—since it was essentially date-
rape—but I really didn't. Maybe it was the beginnings of my vampire instincts,
the lust overpowering my reason and morality. But it also helped that Kate was
so into it. She might've been under a bit of chemical influence, but she had a
good-natured enthusiasm that made me feel less like a predator and more like a
casual swinger.

Alice and I were very gentle, very considerate, which also made me feel better.
We didn't force her into anything, and we only did what she wanted. We took off
her clothes and took turns kissing her, pausing only for her to giggle and
exclaim how she couldn't believe she was actually going to do this. Alice
inquired if she ever had any fantasies relating to lesbianism, and with a fiery
blush Kate mentioned that maybe the idea of a sixty-niner with another woman
had always turned her on. Alice giggled at her wisdom, toying playfully with
her breasts, and in a seductive whisper she asked Kate who would she prefer, me
or herself. Kate looked at me, but my visible youth seemed to frighten her just
a little. My new birth certificate said twenty-one, but I was still a teenager,
not even eighteen. Alice was young too, but she was much better at acting and
dressing like an adult. Kate obviously didn't want to offend either of us, so
she laughed it off and said anything was fine, but Alice kept giggling and
flirting and forced her to decide, and eventually Kate decided that she wanted
Alice.

I couldn't argue, really. In some respects I was hotter than Alice—bigger
boobs, slightly taller, long hair—but Alice's charm transcended anything
physical. There weren't any headlights in the world brighter than Alice's
smile.

So I watched as my fiancé and my wedding florist arranged themselves into a
sixty-nine position, Kate on top, just like she used to fantasize. Her body was
regular human, and I was strangely fascinated by how plain it seemed compared
to a vampire's. No pale luster, no marble smoothness. She had a similar body
type to Alice, small and short, but that was where the similarities ended. She
didn't have the acutely pinched waist of Alice, the long legs of Alice, the
full rounded hips of Alice. Yet she was still sexy. Her skin was healthy and
vibrant, and she felt very warm under my hands as she moaned into Alice's
pussy. I watched them eat each other out for a while, and then Alice summoned
me around to Kate's rear so that I could give her a hand. I inserted my fingers
into her vagina and stroked her ass, feeling it quiver as her orgasm
approached. Alice suckled at her clit, harder and harder, and soon the woman
called Kate was climaxing with a long and loud moan.

I smirked. I wonder if any man had made her come like that before?

The evening continued with the three of us exploring a few more of our guest's
fantasies, including one that involved me, a strap-on, and a very horny
florist, and soon she was exhausted. She had had four different orgasms, which
she informed us was the most she'd ever had since she did it three times with
her boyfriend on Valentine's Day but faked the last one. The drugs had mostly
worn off by now and she seemed genuinely happy to have had the experience,
albeit a little shocked. Alice had gone to fetch her a bottle of water from the
fridge and Kate only had her bra and panties on when she started drinking.
Alice had opened the bottle in the kitchen, and I had a feeling it was drugged
as well, since the florist got really sleepy and passed out after only a few
mouthfuls.

Alice laid her on the bed, face down, and I stood by watching. Her brown hair
was spread across the pillow and I could see the shapes of her shoulderblades
in her naked back. Alice brushed the woman's hair with her hand, looked at her
body, and turned to me with a smile.

"She has a nice body, doesn't she?"

I didn't think there was any point being quiet, but I only nodded. She did have
a nice body; not as nice as Alice's, but still very nice. Alice took my arm and
looked at the woman in our bed.

"This is what our life would've been like as vampires," she whispered. "We'd be
doing this kind of thing all the time. Either together or by ourselves. I had
always longed for my one true mate, but I guess I'd be lying if I said it
wasn't kind of fun to sleep around all the time."

That familiar anxiety fluttered back into my stomach. What was with her today?
Was she saying she was going to regret dying? That she'd rather do things like
this for the rest of her life?

"Are you going to feed from her?" I asked. After all, it was the only practical
reason I could see for drugging her.

Alice was hesitant. "I don't know," she said. "The only blood that tastes good
to me is yours, but…I'd like you to watch."

"Why?"

Alice didn't reply. It was one of the few times I could remember seeing her
honestly speechless. "I'm not sure," she said finally. "I just feel you should
see. So you can see what I really am. What I've always been. What you could've
been, too. Wouldn't you like to see, baby?"

I was too busy trying to decipher the hidden meaning in her words to really
have an opinion on the subject, but I nodded. Maybe I was kind of curious, but
more than that, I just didn't like refusing any whim of Alice's.

Alice smiled. "Just don't be jealous," she said. "Seriously, all blood is
disgusting to me but yours."

I smiled back, a giggle escaping me. I'd never been possessive about my blood,
but I knew better than to doubt Alice's taste for it. "I know," I said.

Alice nodded at me, searching my face for something. I have no idea what she
was looking for or if she found it, but she wrapped her arms around my neck and
gave me a long kiss on the mouth. Then she climbed onto the bed, dressed only
in black underwear, and gathered the drugged florist into her arms. Kate's head
lolled lifelessly against Alice's chest, and Alice straightened it and tilted
it back, brushing the brown hair away from her neck. She lowered her mouth to
the woman's throat and slowly sank in her fangs.

She kept her eyes on me the whole time as she sucked at the wound. I stood
there watching. I was certain that she was trying to tell me something with all
this, but I couldn't fathom what it was. I tried to think, but then she slipped
her hand into the unconscious woman's panties, groping her ass, and this was
hot enough to drive away all rational thought. I climbed into the bed and
joined in, tasting the other woman's blood and feeling it tingle in my mouth.

—

A few days later I called Victoria and had a chat about Rosalie. Apparently the
blonde was still miffed at Alice's rejection and absolutely refused to attend a
wedding which she considered a sham and an insult. Victoria related all this
with a dry long-suffering, as if she didn't really care, and I asked her if
there was anything I could do to change Rosalie's mind. Victoria was doubtful.
She speculated that offering my body as a bribe wouldn't help, since Rosalie
now loathes me. But she added that I was welcome to try. I asked her if I could
come over, and she said she'll come pick me up. Rosalie had obtained work as a
fashion model and she had a photo shoot this afternoon. Ambushing her in public
would be my best bet to avoid a reaction like murder.

So deep in my addiction I was truly reluctant to leave Alice, but we decided it
was best for me to talk to her alone, slave to slave. Alice had some errands to
run with Jane, and after kissing me goodbye and kissing Vicky hello, she jumped
into Jane's car and drove off to the obscure mysteries of wedding preparations.

Victoria was pleased to see me, judging by the sexy leer she leveled at my
body. Strangely, I was happy to see her as well, her and her tits. If things
went well with the blonde, maybe we'd be home early enough to have sex. My
affection for the redhead had gone up ever since she abandoned her quest to
annihilate my relationship, and of the sisters she had become my favorite, only
just ahead of Leah.

The photo shoot took place on a stone bridge that spanned the Seine. It was a
cold and misty day, and the shoot had been arranged to take advantage of the
cloudy sky. Rosalie was part of a troupe of models who were advertising a
collection of evening gowns by Modeca, and she was easily the most stunning.
Her tall form and sullen face were perfect to the theme of the shoot. The wet
street was lined with passersby who had paused to gawk, and Victoria and I were
watching for a long time as part of the crowd before the photography crew
called for a break.

"She's really beautiful," I said. "How come you don't model, too?"

Victoria smirked. "I prefer to dedicate myself to other pursuits," she said.

I glanced at her, wondering what she meant, but she pointed across the street.
Rosalie had moved aside from the crew and was removing her jewelry and putting
another set on.

"Now's your chance," Victoria said.

Rosalie had noticed me and leveled a disdainful look across the street. My
courage flagged, but I remembered I was doing this for Alice. It was going to
be the biggest day of her six hundred year life and the last. It needed to be
as perfect as possible, and it would never be perfect unless Rosalie could be
happy for her.

"Thanks," I said, flashing Victoria a quick smile, and then I made my way
across the street.

Rosalie was wearing a white gown and she was draped with jewelry and eye makeup
like an Egyptian queen. She saw me coming and moved off down the sidewalk.
Behind her I could see the peak of the Eiffel tower poking through the haze.
When I approached, she glared at me.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

Tough question. I wanted her to put aside her feelings of anger and
jealousy—most of which were somewhat justified—and stand by her former mate's
side as that mate married another woman. It was a difficult subject to
approach, but luckily I'd thought ahead. Alice and I had handwritten the
invitations and rather than mailing one, I decided to deliver it personally. I
had it in my hands and I offered it tentatively.

"Here," I said. "I wanted to give you this."

She only glanced at it once. "Would you like my answer now?" she asked, and
then she tore the invitation in half and let it fall to the damp cement.

I blinked down at the ripped halves. They were written in gold ink, inscribed
on silk watermark. I lifted my eyes to the blonde. She was glaring at me across
her nose and she had her arms crossed. Silhouetted against the dank sky in her
slim white evening gown, her blonde hair billowing, she looked like some grumpy
wind goddess.

"Rosalie," I said, straining for words. "I know you hate me. But you need to
understand that Alice loves me. She'll always love you and the rest the coven,
but I'm her true mate. Nothing's going to change that. Ever. So you can stand
there pouting and acting like a bitch as much as you want, but Alice is never
going to love you the way she loves me."

It just came out, but it probably wasn't the smartest thing I could've said.
Her eyes narrowed, and if looks could kill, they'd be chucking my body into the
river by now.

"How dare you," she said.

"I dare because aside from me you're the person she loves most in the world.
And it hurts her that you're not happy for her. It really does."

"Why should I care for her feelings when she obviously doesn't care for mine?"

I sighed and looked down. Truthfully, I wasn't angry. I believed the woman had
every right to her rage. Alice had treated her horribly, but Alice hadn't meant
to. She had just gotten carried away with her feelings for me. Why couldn't
Rosalie understand that?

"She does care," I said. "She just…"

I fell silent for a second. Then I looked up.

"Well, you know what's she's like," I said. "Sometimes she forgets things or
lies about things. It doesn't mean she doesn't care. It just means she's kind
of messed up."

But the blonde didn't seem to have much sympathy for Alice's mental issues.
"Alice betrayed me," she hissed. "She gave me everything I ever wanted; and
then she snatched it all way again. And why? Because of you? You're nothing."

It was hard to argue with that, but I felt I should try. "Not according to
Alice," I said quietly.

She snorted and shook her head, a small hint of pity mingling with her basic
hatred. "You stupid girl," she said. "You wait, you'll see. Alice will tire of
you the same way she tired of me. You'll give her your heart and when she's
done toying with it she'll throw it away and select another. You're nothing."

There were basic flaws to this reasoning, such as the fact that Alice was
willing to die for me when she'd never been willing to die for anyone else.
Even now she was willing to die for me and our relationship. It was going to
happen on our wedding night. Alice loved me more than anyone she had ever loved
and—

And she was never going to stop.

The sudden thought made my eyes prickle. Rosalie's argument was having the
opposite effect on me. Two hours ago I would've agreed with her completely.
Alice would eventually get sick of me and discard me like all the others. But
now, hearing it said out loud, I was suddenly unsure.

Would Alice really get sick of me?

Would Alice really stop loving me?

Suddenly it seemed absurd that I'd ever thought that. Alice would never leave
me. But if she was never going to leave me, then why did we have to die? It
would prove how much we loved each other, but did we really need proof?
Wouldn't it be better to simply be together? To hold each other, and love each
other, and—

I didn't need those doubts right now, so I shook them away. But they did
trigger a tactic that I could use on the blonde. "Well, maybe you're right," I
said. "But isn't that a good thing for you?"

Her perfect blonde brow flickered into a frown. I shrugged and went on.

"I mean, she went back to you and Victoria once," I said. "Maybe she really
will get sick of me one day and go back to you. Deep down you know she still
loves you. There's always hope—as long as you don't ruin the relationship now."

She was looking at me in undisguised wonder, and why not? Here I was convincing
my fiancé's ex that she should stay friends because one day she might win her
back. From the look on her face, I could tell this had occurred to her before,
but she was shocked hearing it from me.

"Why would you say that?" she said in a low whisper.

Cars were passing in the street and there was a loud clamor from the continuing
photo shoot. I almost didn't hear her, but I did. On the surface it might've
seemed like I was taking my relationship with Alice for granted, but in
actuality I was simply confident. Alice was never going to leave me, not ever.
But there was no harm letting the blonde believe she would if it would help the
blonde forgive her.

But if Alice was never going to stop loving me, then why did our relationship
have to end?

But again I shook the doubt away and focused on the conversation at hand.
"Because unlike you," I said, "I only want Alice to be happy. If she decides
one day she'll be happier with you, I'll be cool with that. And I certainly
wouldn't tear up the wedding invitation."

I bent and picked up the two halves of the invitation. What I said was at least
partly true. If Alice wanted to go back to Rosalie, I'd let her. I'd only
insist she kill me first.

I handed the invitation to Rosalie. Rosalie was stunned enough to take it.

"Listen," I said. "Alice loves you and it would mean a lot if you were there
for her at her wedding. If you truly loved her, you'd want her to be happy."

She looked at me. I had no idea if she would accept or not, but there was no
more I could say. I turned away and crossed the street.

Victoria was waiting by her car, leaning on the hood with her arms folded under
her huge breasts. She smirked at my approach. "I'll make sure she considers the
invitation," she said.

I nodded, feeling a very strong and unexpected flush of affection for the
redhaired woman. "Thanks," I said. "You'll be there too?"

She chuckled and opened the car door for me. "Oh, I wouldn't miss the blessed
event," she said. "I'm positively aflutter with excitement."

"You don't have to be sarcastic," I said, climbing into the car.

She smiled and closed the door without replying. I watched her through the
rain-speckled windshield as she moved around the hood of the car and got in
behind the wheel. Our eyes kept catching in the rearview mirror, and when we
pulled up outside my apartment, I was pretty fucking horny.

"Wanna fuck me quickly before Alice gets home?" I asked bluntly.

She smirked and turned off the engine. "That's an odd offer."

It was, and it felt odd. The encounter with Rosalie had rattled me, and maybe I
just missed Alice, or maybe I was trying to escape my doubts with sex. Whatever
it was, I just really didn't want to be alone right now. And somehow the
redhead felt like the perfect person to keep me company.

"For old time's sake," I said. Then I gave her a small smirk. "You always did
have a thing for me."

She looked at me for a long moment, long enough to make my skin crawl with
excitement. Finally she smiled and gave a small sigh. "Oh, very well," she
said. "But let us hurry, Miss Swan, for I'd much rather be gone before Alice
returns."

Her aversion to Alice gave me a bad feeling. Alice had sired her, infected her
with her venom, and there was no possible way the redhead could truly reject
Alice. Which meant her brooding dislike was mostly in her head, a deliberate
thought, unnatural, unpredictable. But I didn't want to think about that right
now, so I just took her up stairs.

It started raining while we were taking off our clothes. Victoria's dominant
tendencies had been greatly subdued in these latter days, and she was almost
passive. Passive like a queen, but passive nonetheless. She spread herself on
the bed, legs wide open. The sight of so much naked lusciousness made my mouth
water, and I did her very slowly, very tenderly, as if she was a dear lover of
mine. I kissed her lips and her face. I kissed the tips of her massive breasts,
her swollen nipples. I licked them, suckled at them. I kissed her arms and the
inside of her elbows. I kissed her fingers. I lowered my lips to her belly and
I kissed the area around her navel.

Neither of us had spoke since climbing into the bed. There seemed to be some
strange tension between us, not enemies, not friends, not really anything else.
The wedding was a over a month away, but it felt like I was saying goodbye.
Somehow I felt that she deserved this. Aside from Alice, no one had ever driven
me crazy like Victoria, and part of me couldn't help loving that.

Her pussy had gotten moist and I placed delicate kisses on it, just to tease
her, before moving on to her legs. Her long, pale, shapely legs. I kissed the
insides of her thighs. I kissed her kneecaps. I stroked them up and down. Soon
she was shivering with each touch of my lips and finally I lowered them to her
entrance, kissing all around her silky petals before licking and lapping up her
essence.

I could hear the rain pattering behind the closed curtains and the gentle sound
of her shivering breath. I wanted nothing more than to give into my urges, but
even here I went slowly. I probed the inside of her folds with my tongue,
spread them with my fingers, pushed my tongue inside her. Finally she moaned.
There was a strangled sound to it, as if she had tried to hold it back and
couldn't.

I kept going, ready now to bring her to a climax. I inserted two fingers into
her warm vagina and started suckling at the hard nub of her clit. Her breath
became longer, faster. It groaned in and out of her. I got the impression that
she didn't want to come, that she had changed her mind and didn't want to let
me do this to her. But there was nothing she could do, and soon I felt her
vagina clenching on my fingers as her back arched up off the mattress with a
strangled gasp.

Then she sank back onto the sheets. I kissed at the area between her legs a
little more and then I raised up and started grinding against her pubic bone,
already moaning, staring down at her flushed face and beautiful breasts,
looking into her eyes as I climaxed.

—

The weeks rolled by and the wedding drew closer. Rosalie and Victoria attended
Sunday dinner at Esme's house, the first time they ever had since we all moved
out of the mansion. Things were tense at first, but it was clear that the
blonde had decided to forgive Alice, for whatever reason. Maybe she really
expected Alice to dump me and go back to her. I almost felt bad for deceiving
her, because I knew that would never happen. The wedding was going to be our
last night on earth. And even if it wasn't, Alice would never leave me. I was
starting to be very sure of that.

These Sunday dinners always ended with an orgy of some kind, usually with Alice
and Jane as the ring leaders, but this time was different. Alice needed to talk
to Rosalie privately, so they went out into the garden, presumably so that
Alice could ask Rosalie to be her maid of honor. Jane then revealed that she
had a hankering to be double-fucked with strap-ons. Carlisle and Leah were
pleased to oblige her, and the three of them adjourned to a bedroom. Esme and I
cleared the table while Victoria sat alone sipping wine, and after we stacked
the dishes in the dishwasher, we had sex on the kitchen counter. When we went
back into the dinning room, Victoria was gone. Half an hour later Rosalie came
back inside and reported that Victoria had send her a text saying she had gone
out to hunt. Rosalie also announced that she had agreed to be Alice's maid of
honor.

Overall, the event was shaping up to be as perfect as it could be. Alice was
happy, the coven was happy for her, the redhead had seemingly abandoned any
intention of revenge, and the weather was clearing.

So why was I having doubts?

I couldn't explain it, but as the date drew closer I began to wonder if this
was the right thing to do in a way that I had never wondered before since
deciding. It had seemed so simple, a perfect end to our tragic relationship, to
end it all in each other's arms, to prove once and forever that our love was
true. Only it didn't seem so perfect any more. It felt kind of…wrong.

But these doubts never lasted long and I always quickly convinced myself that
we had no other choice. Alice was the best girl I ever met, but something
inside her was broken, and she'll never be able to live happily ever after.
She'll either get sick of me or some other tragedy will happen. A romantic
death was really the best thing I could offer her, the best thing for both of
us. I just wish I could shake the feeling of faithlessness that had began to
settle over me as the wedding approached. Because no matter how much I tried to
ignore it, the facts were plain; if I trusted Alice, I wouldn't worry about her
leaving me.

Was that the real problem? That I didn't trust Alice? That I had no faith in
her ability to love me and keep me forever? Was I so skeptical of her love that
I wouldn't even let her try? But isn't death and sacrifice the greatest
expression of love? Doesn't dying for me demonstrate that her love is no weak
thing and that she would be perfectly able to love me for the rest of her
existence if only she had the opportunity? And if that was true, what then was
the point of dying? What did it prove?

I didn't want to think about it. The bottom line was that I still longed for
Alice's fangs. Whether this was right or wrong wasn't the issue anymore. I just
really wanted to give myself to her. I needed to. I dreamt about it almost
every night, me in Alice's arms, fading, her face buried in my neck. But none
of the dreams included me cutting Alice's throat and deep down I think I knew
already I wouldn't be able to do it. None of my other dreams ever came true.
Why should this one?

The day of the wedding approached and Alice and I became slightly withdrawn
from the coven, as if we wanted to spend as much time together as possible
before the end. We made love often, and only love. No knives, no candles, no
handcuffs. Even the toys remained in their box. In that final week we didn't
even touch a vibrator.

Esme had been given command of the preparations and Alice only supervised. The
florist, Kate, had been embarrassed in the morning—and quite pale—but Alice had
smoothed over any awkwardness, and the woman had done an amazing job with the
flowers. She was very opened minded about our relationship, and she seemed to
even admire the fact that we were able to put aside possessiveness and have fun
some nights. I wonder what she'd think if she knew she'd been drugged and
bitten by a vampire? In any case, the flowers really were lovely. Mostly red
tulips and white lily orchids, bouquets of them that hung in rich array from
the altar and from the white wooden folding chairs arranged on the lawn under
the canopy. Just under two hundred guests had been rustled up, which seemed
like an impressive turnout for a same-sex wedding. The french must be very
open-minded. Either that or they just wanted to see two chicks kiss.

The day before the wedding, Carlisle took Alice and I to the courthouse where
we signed a marriage agreement, just for fun. It contained a lot of legal
jargon about the managing and division of assets and so forth, in the case of
separation or divorce. Alice seemed to get a kick out of it, and once again I
had to wonder why we were making plans for the future. Was she trying to tell
me something? As I signed my name to the contract, I remembered what Victoria
had once told me:

Between the lie and the reality, Alice will always choose the lie. It's why she
loves you so much.

But lies don't last, and Alice won't love me forever. That's why we had to do
this.

That night we hung our wedding gowns in the closet and made love on the bed.
Afterwards we cuddled together in the dark and Alice told me the story of how
she became a vampire. Her narrative was more somber than Jane's, less wry. She
told me how her father was a drunk who used to beat her and how she never got
to know her mother. She told me how she had been sold to a whorehouse and how
she had tried to escape so many times, but each time they'd bring her back and
beat her and rape her. She told me how she had met Jane there and how they had
become friends. She didn't talk much about the transformation. She described it
as cold and painful, as if her soul were crying.

"When I woke as a vampire," she whispered, "all I could think about was finding
someone. Someone to hold and squeeze and drain the blood from. It was lust, but
it was loneliness as well. It was never the blood or the sex that I really
craved. It was acceptance. In six hundred years all I truly wanted was a
willing victim. A girl who could smile and look me in the eye and say: 'Okay.
I'll do it.'"

I was sobbing at this point, and I wiped my eyes with the sheet and blew my
nose with it. Hearing the story again, in Alice's small and quiet voice, had
wracked my heart into a hundred pieces, and even though I wasn't capable of
smiling at the moment, I was determined anew to make her dream come true.

"I'll be your victim, Alice," I sobbed into the darkness. "I'll do it, I
promise."

She chuckled and wrapped her arms around me. "I know, baby, I know," she
whispered. "But don't cry, okay? Go to sleep. We have a big day tomorrow. You
don't want to look puffy, do you?"

"No. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, baby. Just sleep. Do you still love me?"

"Of course I do. I love you more than anything."

"I know," she whispered, kissing my hair. "I just wanted you to say it."

But saying it wasn't enough and already I was pushing out of her arms so that I
could lower my tear-stained face between her legs. "I love you, Alice," I said.
"I love you so much."

—

The next day was our wedding. The hours leading up to the ceremony were the
last time Alice and I would ever be separated. It was excruciating, but I made
it through, and when it was finally time, I found myself standing at the altar,
fidgeting impatiently with the lace of my gown as I waited to be united with my
Alice, once and for all time.

Technically, I suppose I was the groom. Alice and I had talked about it, and it
just seemed easier to arrange it this way, so that she could make her sister's
happy by making them all bride's maids. I only had one person I wanted by my
side, Leah, my best man. For once she wasn't dressed in black, but in a magenta
gown, slinky and made of satin. She stood beside me while we waited for the
ceremony to start, smiling whenever I glanced over. Her presence was
reassuring. Leah had always been the most supportive of our relationship. I
wonder if she'll be sad when she finds out I'm gone? But that was another thing
I didn't need to think about. I didn't need distractions. Last night had
reaffirmed my commitment and reminded me of what was really important; making
Alice happy. Alice was a demon, and in a few minutes I was going to be her
wife. And unlike any of her other wives, I was going to give her what she truly
wanted.

Finally the processional music started, and I straightened up, inhaling a deep
breath. This was it. My rest of my life. All of it was about to happen right
now. I glanced at Leah and she gave me an encouraging nod. I nodded back, and
turned to face front. Two hundred guests were arranged under the canopy and at
the sound of the music they all swiveled their heads toward the mansion. The
only member of the coven in the audience was Carlisle, who sat in the front row
with his legs crossed, quite handsome in his tuxedo.

It was a simple bridal party. Jane and Esme were the only bridesmaids and there
were no groomsmen to accompany them. They came slowly down the aisle in their
pale violet gowns, smiling, each with a bouquet of violets in their hands and
their hair styled up with matching flowers of a soft purple hue. They took
their place at the altar opposite me and Leah, and faced the guests. They were
arranged in ascending height, so Jane was in front. Our eyes caught for a
moment, and I remembered that Alice had told her about our plans. Jane's
painted lips quirked in a pale pink smirk, and I didn't know what it meant.

Next was Rosalie. The guests had been impressed at Jane and Esme, but at
Rosalie's descent down the aisle a hushed murmur swept over the gardens, even
audible over the music. As maid of honor, her dress was darkish red, the color
of the tulips Alice liked so much. She didn't smile as she took her place at
the altar, but she gave me a cool look that suggest she was at least willing to
endure the farce.

Suddenly the organs launched into the bridal march. My heart jack-rabbited in
my chest. Finally. Alice.

Traditionally, the bride is escorted by her father, but on this occasion Alice
had decided to abandon tradition and be given away by her former mistress, the
lovely Victoria. The subtext would've been lost on the guests, but it was
obvious to the coven. Alice had asked Victoria for the honor only two days
before the wedding, and even though Victoria took none of the affair seriously,
she was at least willing to humor Alice.

They came down the aisle together, Alice on Victoria's arm. Another hushed
murmur swept over the guests, and I felt just a little spark of anger at how
most of them were staring at Victoria. It was Alice's day, you morons. Maybe
this was the real reason Victoria had agreed, so she could steal some of
Alice's spotlight. She was wearing a lilac gown which hiked up her breasts, but
the only thing I had eyes for was Alice.

Alice was smiling and carrying her tulip bouquet in both hands. She looked so
beautiful, with her pale face paled behind the veil, her hair woven with tiny
white flowers. The gown was white satin with a ruffled train, sleeveless, the
bodice like a white loveheart that curved over her breast and dipped into her
waist. She kept her eyes on mine and I kept my eyes on hers. My lips were
actually parted in amazement as I watched her approach, my heart fluttering in
my chest as waves of hot unreality washed over me. It felt like the first time
I had ever saw her, back in the cafeteria at Forks High. I felt that same
stunned disbelief that she was actually real, that she wasn't just a dream. And
now I was marrying her. It was all finally happening.

Together Alice and Victoria paused at the base of the altar and Victoria lifted
Alice's veil before kissing her on the cheek. Victoria whispered something that
I didn't hear, and Alice whispered back. From the movement of her lips I
thought it was, 'thank you.' Victoria then turned and took her place among the
guests beside Carlisle.

Alice ascended the altar and faced me. Her face was so pretty and serene that I
almost burst into tears right then. Through the entire service she kept her
eyes firmly fixed on mine, a gentle smile on her lips, and I had no idea how
she could be so calm. I was verging on hysteria. I could hardly stand still. I
could hear nothing but the blood beat of my heart pulsing in my ears. I kept
thinking about everything we'd been through to get here, all the lies, all the
heartbreak, all the passion, all the pain, all the joy, all the orgasms and all
the times we said I love you – and finally we were getting married. I never
thought I was the kind of girl who would be moved very much by a wedding, even
her own, but I couldn't help it. Tears were sliding down my cheek and pooling
on my chin. I used my fingers to wipe them discreetly. Alice smiled at the
display and then she took my hand, threaded the ring onto my finger, and
recited her vows.

"Isabella Marie Swan," she said. "I take you to be my partner, to have and to
hold, from this day forward. I give you my unending love and devotion. I
promise to be true to you, to cherish, and to share my thoughts, hopes, and
dreams with you. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you, my
best friend. I will love you forever."

It was too much for me. I was trying to hold it back, but a sob broke out and I
started crying. The guests assumed they were tears of joy as a gentle chuckle
swept over them. But I wasn't sure if they were tears of joy. I wasn't sure why
I was crying at all. Was it because Alice's vows were a lie? Or was it because
the lie was so beautiful?

"Sorry," I blubbered, trying to regain control. I sniffed loudly—and rather in
elegantly—and another chuckle went among the guests. Carlisle rose and came
forward and handed me a handkerchief. I blew my nose and handed it back. At
least the guests were entertained. I turned back to Alice and took a breath.
"Okay, I'm ready."

Alice smiled. Her face was completely peaceful and again I was astounded that
she was so calm. Was the approaching end really such a comfort to her? I
thought she had been having second thoughts, but I guess last night had finally
made up her mind.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and took her hand. My whole body tingled at
her touch and I forced myself not to cry again. I threaded the ring onto her
finger and looked into her eyes.

"Mary Alice Cullen," I said. "I love you. I…"

And that was it. I had written my vows over two weeks ago and spent almost
every night reading and memorizing them and gloating over how good they were.
Now I couldn't remember. I honestly could not recall a single word. Panic
flooded me and I glanced wildly at the guests.

"I can't remember," I whispered.

This time they actually laughed. It was a good-natured laugh, but it did
nothing to convince me that I was a mature young woman who was ready to get
married. I felt like a little girl, lost, confused, no clue what was happening.
But then I looked at Alice. She giggled as well, as if my hopelessness were
cute, and then she just smiled at me.

"It's okay, baby," she said. "I get the idea."

Then she stepped forward and kissed me. It wasn't time yet, but it felt
perfect. The touch of her lips sent waves of euphoria crashing over me, and
dimly I could hear the guests beginning to applaud.

—

I had wanted the day to be as perfect as possible for her, so I guess it was
lucky she found my ineptitude charming. After the ceremony came the photographs
with the bridal party and then the reception. Halfway through dinner I
remembered my vows and I whispered them to Alice while we ate. Alice told me
they were perfect and kissed me again.

A lot of the guests had introduced themselves or paid respects. I only knew a
few of them, like the florist. She took a moment to tell us how flattered she
was that we'd invited her. We didn't mention that we'd practically pulled
people off the streets at random. She seemed to focus most of her gratitude on
Alice, and I wondered if that was the influence of Alice's venom. It had been
over a month since that night, but maybe the feeling of attraction lingered.
She seemed to be almost crushing on my Alice. My wife. My partner.

A strange melancholy settled over me as I smiled and nodded and accepted the
well-wishing of strangers. Alice and I were finally married. I never thought it
would mean anything since she had already been married so many times, and yet
it seemed to mean everything. We had been married for less than a day and
somehow the relationship seemed entirely changed. Different. Better. Perfect.
It felt like the first day of the rest of our lives. But in reality it was the
last. Was this what I really wanted? It had seemed so romantic, to die at the
peak of our passion, to freeze this feeling forever. But what if it got even
better? What if Alice and I only love each other more and more for the rest of
our lives?

My mind moved in circles for the rest of the day and into the night, part of me
mired in doubt, the rest of me firmly convinced that this was what Alice wanted
and what I had to give to her. The sun had gone down and the stars had come
out. I was loathe to be apart from Alice, especially now, with such precious
few minutes left between us, but she had her sisters and she was obligated to
dance with them, at least once each. It was a slow song and I watched her from
across the dancefloor as she danced with Rosalie. They were talking together
quietly and I wondered if Alice was somehow saying goodbye.

"Don't worry, you'll have her back soon enough," Leah said from behind me.
She'd seen me staring at Alice and I gave a guilty chuckle. She took my hand.
"Come on, let's dance."

I didn't really want to, but I let her lead me onto the floor. I put my hand at
her shoulder and kept glancing at Alice. The entire reception took place
outdoors and a cool night breeze was moving over my shoulders.

"You look beautiful today," Leah said.

I turned to her, my heart fluttering. I'd already known I looked beautiful, and
I had never been the kind of girl to care too much about her appearance, but I
was in an emotional mood, and the compliment felt so nice I wanted her to
repeat it. "Really?"

She nodded with a smile. "More beautiful than Alice."

I snorted, but I was blushing. "Yeah right," I said.

"It's true," she said. "You're practically a vampire by now." She looked at me
for a moment, her smile turning slightly sad, and she added: "But I guess this
is as close as you're gonna get, huh?"

My own smile fell away. I stopped dancing, a cold feeling passing over me.
"Jane told you?"

Leah nodded letting her hands fall from my waist. "Yeah," she said. "Any chance
I can talk you out of it?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. I thought she might try anyway, but she didn't.
The other couples on the floor continued to dance. I looked up at Leah. "Why,
though?" I asked. "Why would you want to talk me out of it?"

Leah chuckled once. "Because it's wrong."

I frowned. I didn't need anyone to feed my doubts, but I couldn't walk away.
"It's not wrong to us," I said. "It's the only way we can be together. Just us.
Forever. That's what we really want."

Leah shook her head, letting some of her impatience show through. "Come on,
don't be stupid," she said. "Dying in each other's arms doesn't mean you'll be
together forever, it means you'll be apart forever. You'll be dead. Rotting in
the ground. Is that what your love means to you?"

Tears prickled my eyes. "That's not how we feel."

Leah chuckled and bent to smile at my face. "No offence, honey," she said, "but
I'm not sure your feelings are the best guide here. Alice is a fucking nutcase
and you're still just a kid. Be smart. You know what's right in your heart.
This death shit? It's crazy. Do you really think that's what Alice wants? You
really think she wants to kill you?"

"Yes," I whispered.

Leah snorted. "Think again."

I blinked back the tears, my lip trembling. "Stop it, Leah," I said. "Don't
ruin this for me."

Leah sighed. She looked up at the nightsky for a second then down at me. She
put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm just trying to talk some sense into you,
Bella," she said. "You and Alice have something special, anybody can see that.
But think about it. Is this really what you want your relationship to culminate
as? A couple of naked corpses in a bed somewhere? Is that love? Is that
romantic? Use your head. Alice doesn't want that. If she agreed to this, she's
only doing it to please you. She doesn't want this. You heard her vows. She
wants forever. To have and to hold and all that shit. You know that's what she
wants."

My head was suddenly pounding and I staggered a step backwards, away from her
hand. I bumped a couple, but they saw I was one of the brides and decided not
to tell me to fuck off. I sniffed and looked at Leah.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked. "Why can't you just…"

Leah took both of my hands. "I'm not gonna stop you, Bella," she said. "You and
Alice have the right to love each other however you want. The dead don't have
regrets, but I don't want you to die in ignorance. If you still wanna do it, go
ahead. But I'm telling you now; Alice doesn't want it."

"She does," I blurted. "She—"

"No, Bella," Leah said softly. "She doesn't want a victim, she wants a partner.
And she wants that partner to be you. She wants someone to take care of her. To
protect her. Even from herself. Why do you think she's been lying to you from
the second she met you? Hm? Why do you think she's been pretending to be
something she's not? To lull you into a false sense of security? Bullshit. She
doesn't want to be a monster. She wants to be a regular girl. Even if it's
pretend, that's what she really wants."

"You don't understand," I said, my voice almost a moan. "She'll get sick of me.
She'll leave me. She'll—"

Leah dropped my hands. "If you believe that you never should've married her,"
she said.

I started crying. In the middle of the dancefloor I started crying. People were
looking, but I put my face in my hands and blocked them out. Leah reached for
my wrist.

"Hey," she whispered. "Don't cry, I was just—"

But I couldn't listen anymore. I tore my arm back and ran away.

I didn't even know where I was going. My vision was blurry and I tripped on the
stone staircase that led into the manor. My feet had gotten tangled in the
train of my wedding gown and I heard something tear. When I staggered to my
feet and stumbled away, a piece of white lace lifted in the wind and subsided
again.

I made it into the kitchen and wept on the kitchen counter. I hadn't turned the
light on, and the interior was only palely visible in the moonlight from the
screendoor. Leah had echoed all of my inner fears and doubts, and the blunt way
she did it only made it hurt more. My sadness soon resolved into anger. How
could she do this? Leah had no idea how I really felt, or how Alice felt. She
had no right to say those things. To question my commitment. Today of all days.
My love for Alice was absolute. Tonight I was going to prove it.

When I looked up and wiped my eyes, I saw the phone on the wall. The sight of a
phone always reminded me of mom, and without really thinking I went over and
picked it up. Alice was right, mom deserved to know. She deserved to know I was
about to die. She would never understand and never congratulate me, but this
wasn't only about her, it was about me. I needed to be brave enough to tell
her. Proud enough. So I dialed the number with a shaky thumb and put the phone
to my ear.

It rang. My tears were all gone by now and a numb coldness had settled into my
bones as I waited for her to pick up. Maybe she would understand. Now, at the
end. It was possible. Maybe she would—

"Hello?"

I froze.

It wasn't mom.

It was Lauren.

"Lauren?" I said. My voice came out strangely casual. As if it was just a
coincidence.

There was silence on the other end and then a small voice said: "Bella?"

I blinked. It really was Lauren. I was taken off guard, because I expected mom.
It was the first time I'd spoken to Lauren since leaving Forks, but somehow it
didn't even feel that odd. "Hey," I said. "What are you doing at my house?"

"Bella?" she repeated, her voice becoming firmer. "Is that you?"

I nodded in the dark kitchen. "Yeah."

"Oh my god," she said. "Where the fuck are you?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it fucking matters," she said. "Where the fuck are you? I thought you were
fucking dead."

I smiled and closed my eyes, pressing the phone to my ear. "I'm not dead," I
whispered. "Not yet."

I heard her take a shuddery breath. My ex-girlfriend, back in Forks. What would
she say if she knew I was married? I knew I should be feeling terrible right
now, but I felt nothing.

"Where are you?" she asked again.

I just shook my head. "It doesn't matter."

"Bella, for fuck's sake," she said, hysteria creeping into her voice. "What the
fuck happened? Where are you?"

I sighed and looked out through the glass screendoor. Beyond the pool the
dancefloor was lit in the soft glow of floodlights and there were couples
dancing out there. I turned back to the darkness of the kitchen. "I'm sorry," I
said. "I just called to say goodbye to mom. Is she there?"

"She's at work."

"Oh, yeah," I said. "I forgot about the time difference."

"Time difference where?" she demanded. "Where the fuck are you?"

I almost laughed. Why was she so worried about where I was? How could she
possibly still care about me after all this time? What would she say if she
actually knew?

"It doesn't matter," I said. "Can you tell her goodbye for me?"

"What the fuck goodbye?" she said, suddenly panicked. "Aren't you coming back?"

I chuckled once. "No."

"Why the fuck not? Where are you?"

"I'm with Alice."

She fell silent. I waited for a second, but she didn't speak. I sighed. I had
originally called to say goodbye to mom, but since Lauren picked up, I might as
well say goodbye to her instead.

"I'm sorry, Lauren," I said. "I know I said I'd never stop loving you. But I
was already taken. I just didn't realize it."

Lauren sobbed. I finally felt a flicker of guilt, but only a flicker.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't—"

"Fuck you, Bella," she sobbed. "Just fuck you."

I listened to her sobbing quietly in Forks for a few seconds—in my old
house—and then I sighed again.

"Why are you at my house?" I asked. It was really only curiosity. I didn't seem
to care about the answer.

She sniffed. "I live here now," she said. "Your mom was out of her mind with
worry when you disappeared. We both were. I moved in to help her through it. My
fucking mom hates me, anyway. We were waiting for you to come back. I didn't
even go to college. I'm working at Angela's store. Angela's in Seattle."

She was almost babbling. Not much of it made an impact on me and I didn't know
what to say.

"I'm sorry," I said finally.

"Are you coming back?" she asked.

"No."

"Why?"

I sighed again. I leaned back against the kitchen counter, lowering my head as
to look at my wedding gown. "It's too late," I said. "I've changed, Lauren. You
wouldn't even know me anymore."

She didn't answer. I toyed with the lace of my dress and sighed one last time.

"Anyway, I just wanted to say good bye," I said. "I did love you Lauren. Senior
year was my favorite year. It was perfect. I'm sorry I fucked everything up. I
really did love you. I loved you since middle school. You were always mean to
me, but…"

"Just tell me where you are," she interrupted. "Me and your mom will come get
you."

"I can't," I said. "Alice—"

"Forget that fucking Alice!" she screamed. "She never did anything but hurt
you!"

Tears finally filled my eyes. She didn't understand. No one did. Lauren, mom,
Leah. Victoria, Rosalie. None of them understood.

"Just come home, Bella," Lauren pleaded. "Please. Just come home and we'll
forget that bitch ever happened."

I shook my head at the offer. Two tears fell onto my white dress. "I can't,
Lauren," I said. "Tell mom I'm sorry, alright? Tell her I love her."

"Bella," she said. "Bella, just—"

I hung up. I looked down at the phone in my hand for a while and then I turned
around. Alice was standing there in the darkness, watching me. She must've
heard everything, but I wasn't worried. She came over, her beautiful white gown
rustling and swaying with the movement. She took the phone out of my hands and
placed it on the counter. She looked at me.

"You dated her in senior year?" she asked.

I nodded.

She cupped my face with her hand. "How come you never told me?"

"I didn't want to disappoint you," I whispered.

She smiled, a soft smile that made her pale face so pretty. "Silly," she said.
"I wanted you to move on. I wanted you to be happy. Don't you remember?"

I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her, the lace of our gowns whispering
in the darkness. "No one makes me happy like you, Alice," I whispered into her
ear, wrapping my arms tighter. "No one."

—

Alice and I left the reception early without saying goodbye to anyone. We lit
candles in our bedroom and peeled each other out of our gowns. Mine laced up
the back like a corset and Alice took her time undoing it, whispering about how
beautiful I was. Underneath I wore nothing but white panties and white
stockings. My body came alive under her eyes and my nipples went hard the
instant I turned around to face her. I stepped from the mound of lace at my
feet and into her arms. She kissed me. I stroked my hands over her milky back.

But we didn't rush things. We had each purchased a set of bridal lingerie and I
went for my shower first. I emerged back into the bedroom naked and found that
Alice had laid out my underwear on the bed. She giggled and took her own into
the bathroom, winking once before closing the door.

I looked down at the lingerie where it lay in the warm glow of the candles. I
took a shuddery breath and I put it on, one article after another. It was
relatively slutty, considering. A white lace thong, white fishnet thigh-high
stockings, white lace corset. White patent leather pumps with little buckles.
Alice had composed the outfit herself, and when I had it on, I looked at myself
in the mirror. I cocked one leg and turned to regard my ass. This was what I
was going to be wearing when I died. I could feel myself getting excited, as
images played in my mind. White lace with blood stains, blood stains on the
sheets. And me, pale and dead in Alice's arms as she continued to feed from my
scanty corpse. But then I saw the dagger on the dresser and I went cold all
over.

Could I really do this?

Is this what I really wanted?

I picked up the dagger and turned it over. It was antique, bought especially
for the occasion. The blade was curved and the hilt was encrusted with jewels.
I set it back down again and my eyes flickered to the row of photographs
arranged there.

Several of them were wedding pictures of her and her other sisters, and I felt
bad that there would never be pictures of Alice's wedding with me. The pictures
had been taken, but we'd be dead before they were ever developed. Dead before
any other pictures could be taken at all. I picked up one of the pictures of
Alice and Jane. It was taken at the top of a ferris wheel somewhere, the
teenage vampires cheek to cheek with Alice holding out the camera. Alice and I
had never been on a ferris wheel together. We'd never been to an amusement park
either. We'd hardly even been to the mall. It was a small thing, but it made my
lip tremble and my eyes fill with tears.

Why was I doing this? For a second I couldn't even remember. It was what we
both wanted and it would make sure that Alice would never leave me, never get
sick of me. But what if Leah was right? What if Alice didn't really want a
victim? What if what she really needed was someone to live for? Someone to
protect her and keep her darkness at bay? Someone who—

The bathroom door opened and I turned to look. Alice emerged into the soft
light of the candles with a soft smile. Her lingerie was far simpler than mine.
She wore nothing but panties and pumps. White lace boyshorts and white leather
shoes. No bra, her breasts warm and soft-looking in the candlelight. She
sauntered over to me with a deliberate roll of her hips and put her hands at my
waist.

"Hey, baby," she whispered. "Are you ready?"

I blinked back tears, and I really didn't know. But I nodded, not wanting to
disappoint her. It was too late now. This is what we had decided to do and now
we were going to do it. Alice was watching my expression. I tried to keep it
determined and eager, but it was impossible. My mask was cracking, but this
only made her smile.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to, baby," she said. "It's okay if
you've changed your mind."

"No," I insisted, my voice breaking. "I want to, Alice. I want…"

But I couldn't go on, and suddenly I burst into tears. Alice pulled me toward
her and held me. I sobbed into her shoulder, humiliated and ashamed of myself.

"Shh," she whispered. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry, Alice," I sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, baby," she said. "Come here."

She led me to the bed an we climbed onto the mattress. Alice sat against the
headboard and arranged me on her lap where she could hold me like child. I
hadn't stopped crying. She kept patting my back and rocking me. Soon my sobs
tapered off and I loved her so much that I would've let her do it right then if
she wanted. I hiccupped. She stroked my hair. We were silent for a very long
time, with her just holding me and me just enjoying being held, and finally I
said:

"Are you mad at me?"

She chuckled softly. "No, baby," she said. "Of course I'm not mad at you."

"I'm sorry. I really thought…"

I trailed off and sniffed. She continued to rock me and pat my back.

"It's okay," she said. "Do you want to know the truth?"

I pulled back slightly and looked at her. Her naked chest was wet with my tears
but her face was perfectly dry. She had that same serene smile she had during
the ceremony, as if everything was perfect and nothing could go wrong. I looked
into her eyes and I think I already knew.

"What truth?" I asked.

Her smile went a little coy. She looked down at my lap, as if to check out my
g-string, and then she looked at my face again. "The truth is," she said shyly.
"I wasn't going to do it anyway."

My mouth dropped open. She giggled.

"Sorry," she said. "There were a couple times I thought I could do it to make
you happy, but I knew in my heart I never could. Not anymore. I was always
planning to back out at the last second."

My breath rushed out of me. The relief I felt was indescribable. "Really?"

"Yes," she said. "I'm sorry, baby, but I love you. And I want to love you
forever. Please. You have to believe that. I'm never going to stop loving you,
okay? You'll always be my One."

I threw my arms around her and hugged her tight. "I believe you, Alice," I
said. "I really do. I love you. I'm so sorry. This was so stupid. I'm an idiot.
I should've—"

"Shh," she whispered, pushing me back gently. "Come here. Lay down."

I quickened to obey. My heart felt like it was bursting from love, and I wanted
to do anything to make her happy. I settled onto the pillow and she straddled
my hips. She gave me a nice long kiss and then looked into my eyes.

"I promise with all my heart, Bella," she said. "You're the only woman for me.
Okay?"

I nodded, finally crying real tears of joy. She smiled and admired my face for
a moment in the candlelight, stroking my cheek. I sniffed once.

"Are you going to turn me?" I asked.

She shook her head slowly, smiling that same serene smile. "No," she said. "I'm
not even going to bite you. Tonight I'm only going to love you. This is the
first night of the rest of our lives, baby. Let's do it properly, okay?"

I nodded as she lowered her lips to my face. I closed my eyes and felt her
placing kisses on my cheeks, my nose, the corner of my mouth. I wrapped my arms
around her naked back and gripped her feverishly.

"Okay," I whispered. "Anything you want, Alice. Anything…"

—

***** Chapter 39 *****
—

Chapter 39:

—

The first thing I saw when I woke up was Alice.

My eyes fluttered open and there she was, on the pillow opposite, gazing at my
face adoringly, covers pulled up to her chin. Just watching. I had woken up to
a hundred mornings just like this, but not quite. Never quite like this.

It only took me a moment to realize that I was alive, alive and married and in
bed with Alice, and the realization swept over me with almost dizzying joy.

Alive.

With Alice.

A soft sigh escaped me as my lips curved up into a bright smile. "Hey," I
whispered, blinking at her languidly, still half asleep. She had obviously been
anxious about what the morning might bring, but the visible joy in my sleepy
face seemed to relax her. Her own mouth melted into a similar smile and she
whispered back: "Hey."

And for a minute we did nothing but gaze at each other, just smiling and
basking in the simple pleasure of the other's company. Alice was the first to
move. She shuffled toward me under the covers and moved to straddle my hips. I
rolled onto my back to accommodate her, feeling my heart soar as her leg
brushed warmly over my body. It occurred to me that I never would've felt this
again if we had gone through with it last night, and I was so glad we hadn't.
Feeling her warm weight covering me once more made me grateful in a way that
I'd never felt before. In that moment I couldn't even remember why I had even
wanted to do something so wrong. How could I have ever wanted an ending to
this?

Alice was naked and so was I, and after she settled on top of my body she laid
flat against me, like how she had always liked to do. My arms instantly wrapped
around her silky back and I shifted slightly underneath her, just to get comfy,
making sure her breasts were pressed against mine. She brushed my hair back
with her hand and gazed into my face silently, just inches away. I smiled at
her, blinking sleepily. She smiled back.

"Are you happy?" she asked.

The simple question made my heart flare. "Yes," I said, and I could honestly
say I'd never been happier in my life. Last night my own stupidness and
insecurity had almost caused me to lose Alice forever. But here she was, where
she belongs. In my arms and I'm never letting go.

My answer made her smile even brighter. "Me too," she said, audible relief in
her voice. She looked into my face a little more, brushing at my hair with her
hand, and then she leaned and kissed me. The soft press of her lips on mine
made my heart race frantically. It felt like our first kiss all over again, and
in some ways it was. Our relationship could've ended last night, and all this,
from here till forever, was to be grateful for.

Finally she pulled back so that she could gaze at me some more, and after
gazing back for a while, I asked:

"What happens now?"

She gave a little shrug, still gazing at my face as if grateful to see it
again. I knew how she felt. "I'm not sure," she said softly. Then she smiled.
"I guess we're stuck with each other, huh?"

"Suits me," I said, and lifted my lips to kiss her. She kissed me back for a
minute and then I pulled back. "I'm so sorry, Alice," I said. "I was stupid. I
should've trusted you. I know you love me, I just…"

I trailed off as she put a finger on my lips. Her finger felt so nice and maybe
my lips felt nice too, because she cupped my face and stroked them softly with
her thumb. I lay there underneath her, just enjoying the closeness, and then
she leaned and kissed them gently. "Shh," she whispered, although I'd been
quiet for a while. "We were both silly. Me, most of all. But I'm going to do
better now, I promise. In fact, I was thinking. How about a honeymoon?"

I smiled. We'd never bothered planning a honeymoon since we never thought we'd
be going, but now, now that we were going to be together forever, it seemed
like a very good idea. "Okay."

"Where would you like to go?" she asked.

I chuckled sleepily. I didn't care where; I was happy right were I was,
underneath Alice. "I don't know," I said. "Where could be more romantic than
Paris?"

It seemed to please her that I had no solid suggestion. She'd had more time to
think about it, and I could see an idea in her eyes. "Well," she said, almost
hesitantly. "What about Forks?"

I refrained from rolling my eyes, but I did smile. It was so typical Alice. I'm
sure it seemed like the perfect idea in her crazy little head, but returning to
the place with my abandoned mother and disgruntled ex-girlfriend were waiting,
didn't seem particularly romantic.

"Forks?" I queried.

She nodded, and I could tell from her smile that she had already decided this
was the perfect thing to do. I just hoped she could explain it a little.
"Sure," she said. "I was thinking about it while you were asleep. I thought
maybe it would be great to start all over again, right from the beginning. I
feel it's the right thing to do. After all…if everything we did bought us to
this, then it's pretty clear we did it all wrong. Right?"

I grinned at her silliness and tightened my arms around her. "Maybe," I said.
"But is it really that bad? I mean, we're still here, right? A lot of bad stuff
happened, but here we are. Together." And saying it out loud made me so happy,
I had to add: "I love you, Alice. I really do."

She smiled brightly, but it didn't distract her. "I love you too, baby," she
said. "But seriously, what do you think? I couldn't think of anything else the
whole time you were asleep. I tried so hard to be a perfect girlfriend, and I
know I fucked it all up, but…it's not too late. It can still be perfect."

I chuckled. Alice had never been an easy girl to understand, and what did it
matter? I was going to do anything she wanted to make her happy, anyway.
"Okay," I said.

She grinned excitedly. "Really?"

"Of course, Alice," I said. "You know I'd do anything for you."

She went a bit anxious. "I know," she said, "but I want you to want to do it,
too. Don't you think it would be the best thing? To start all over again?"

I nodded to reassure her. I hadn't had much time to think about it, but I guess
it did make sense. Before the engagement we had made plans here in Paris, but
there was no reason we couldn't do those plans in Seattle.

"Besides, wouldn't you like to see your mother again?" she asked.

I wasn't sure. I was a little older now, and if we did go back, I was pretty
sure that she would forgive me, if not support me. I just wasn't sure if I
missed her. Ever since I'd come to Paris I'd been unconsciously blocking her
out. Even now, it seemed like I could hardly remember her face. But she was
still my mother, and maybe it really would be good to let her know I was alive
and happy, to let her see me alive and happy.

So I smiled and nodded. "Sure," I said. "But most of all, I just want to be
with you, Alice. I mean, what if she tries to separate us?"

Alice gave a little shrug. "I don't think she will if come up with a good
enough story, and if she does, we can just leave again. But I'd really like you
to have a relationship with her. She was always a good influence on you. If it
wasn't for her, our relationship might've decayed even faster."

She was brushing back my hair again, and we fell silent. I wondered if what she
said was true. Was mom really a good influence on me? I suppose she was. Even
when I first met Alice, it was anxiety about mom that caused me to keep secrets
and go slow as I tried to wheedle permission to see her. Despite all the times
I'd snuck Alice into my room, or made out after school, and shacked up in hotel
rooms – mom had really been the only barrier between us. And as soon as that
barrier was gone, I had let Alice cut me with knives, choke me, and almost kill
me. I didn't like to think of our relationship as decayed, but maybe there was
some truth to that. And maybe being close to mom would be a good start at
getting it back on track.

I was broken out of my reverie by a sudden whim of Alice's to kiss me. She
simply touched her lips to mine, once, twice, three times. Then she giggled.

"So what do you think?" she asked. "Honeymoon in Forks? Think how romantic
it'll be. Damp, drizzle, fog. You'll also get to finish out your senior year.
Then college in Seattle. Then we could get jobs and get a real place of our
own. And we could get married again, officially, and you're mom will be there
and she'll be happy for you. It'll be almost a regular life. Wouldn't that be
great?"

As always her excitement was infectious; it was just weird to see her excited
about something that didn't involve orgasms or bloodshed.

"What about turning me?" I asked. After all, I had no intention of getting old
and dying. Statistics suggested that one day Alice will discard me like all her
other soulmates, but after last night I couldn't possibly believe that anymore,
and even if she did, I intended to cling to her as long as she would have me –
preferably for all eternity.

The mention of me turning dimmed her smile somewhat, as if it was something
she'd been trying to ignore. "Well, as always it's up to you," she said, "but
if you don't care, we might as well just do it here in Paris. Get it over with.
After all, we can't be together forever while you're still human. So we'll wait
a couple days to distance it from the wedding, and then we'll just do it." She
brightened her smile and caressed my face, as if to admire the budding vampire-
glow that made it so beautiful. "You're almost there already."

I blinked, surprised. "Don't you want to make it special?"

She shook her head softly. "No," she said. "I don't want to glorify that dark
stuff anymore. I just want a regular relationship." But then she realized she
was contradicting herself and giggled quickly. "Or as close to regular as
possible," she amended. "Normal relationships don't last forever, but ours has
to. I don't want you to be my victim, baby. I just want you to be my girl."

A warm feeling spread through me. Ever since we first met, my blood had always
been the thing she loved most about me, the thing that drove her crazy. She had
only ever had two dreams; to consume my blood completely or infect it with her
venom and make me hers. And yet within the last twenty-four hours she had not
only refused to feed from me—on our wedding night—but she was also showing
reluctance to the idea of turning me.

It seemed impossible, but at the same time it was perfectly logical. Leah had
told me that all Alice wanted was a normal relationship. I'd always thought
that Alice's attempts at normalcy were ploys to keep from scaring me away, but
it was pretty clear by now that I was wrong about that. Now more than ever.
Looking into her eyes, I could see that our brush with death had finally turned
the lie into reality. She wasn't faking anymore; she truly did just want a
regular relationship.

And I realized that I did too. Maybe it was just my basic nature to accept and
assimilate whatever Alice wanted, but at the same time, I felt that I was done
being scared and insecure. I knew now that Alice was never going to stop loving
me, and I was never going to stop loving her. From this moment, all we had to
do was stay together. And after last night it was fairly safe to assume that
darkness only leads to more darkness. It was time to let a little light into
our relationship.

And beyond any of this, I just wanted to make her happy. So I smiled and
nodded. "Okay," I said. "We can do that."

She smiled suddenly, as if she was actually relieved. It made me smile too; how
could she possibly be surprised at this point that there isn't anything in the
world I wouldn't do for her?

"So we can go back to Forks?"

"Sure."

She put a big kiss on my mouth and then kissed me a couple more times. "Thanks,
baby," she whispered, slightly out of breath. "This time everything will be
perfect. I promise."

"Are the others coming with us?" I asked, although I already knew the answer.

"No," she said, shaking her head without even thinking about it. "Just us."

I smiled and pulled her down for another kiss. We were still naked and the body
contact was making me horny. "I love you, Alice," I said into her mouth. "I
love you so much."

"I love you too, baby," she said, kissing me a couple more times. I was self-
conscious of morning breath, but that seemed to be another flaw that was
somewhat corrected by the venom in my system. She deepened the kiss and I let
my jaw go slack, allowing her to dominate me with her tongue, and then she
pulled back with a grin. "And since it's perfectly normal for newlyweds to have
as much sex as possible, I figure we better do it right now, don't you?"

I chuckled sleepily and gave her an impish yet submissive smirk. "As you wish,
mistress," I said, and although the endearment of mistress wasn't quite normal,
she didn't object to it. She just giggled and thrust her tongue back into my
mouth. I grabbed her ass and moaned and rolled her onto her back. We were going
to be together forever and starting right now I was going to enjoy the hell out
of it.

—

Two nights later we arranged for the whole family to come over for dinner so
that we could announce our plans of leaving the coven. It seemed like a good
idea at the time, but after I started cooking I realized that no one was likely
to be happy to us and some might even be violently displeased. Victoria had
given Alice away at the wedding, but now that we weren't actually dead, I
couldn't help recalling my earlier anxieties. The redhead had once promised
that she'd rather see Alice dead than in the arms of another. And her brooding
demeanor these last couple months did nothing to convince me she hadn't been
thinking about it.

Maybe it was time I mentioned some of this to Alice. My wife—I loved to think
of her like that—still had no idea that Victoria had quasi-raped me once. I'd
kept it secret because I didn't want Alice to know that I kind of liked it, but
Alice and I were beyond all that by now. At this point in our relationship
there was no way she would leave me for allowing myself to be nipple-pinched
into submission. It was one of the few secrets left between us, but for some
reason I still thought it was best not to tell her. Not only was it an awkward
subject to approach, but it seemed pointless. Alice wouldn't get angry at me,
but she probably wouldn't get angry at Victoria either. It was too long ago,
and Alice had changed lately. She wasn't as prone to wild overreactions anymore
as she was in Forks. She would forgive Victoria and she wouldn't even need to
forgive me. There was really no point telling her. Especially now that we were
leaving the coven. It was possible that Victoria might try something, but I
preferred to believe that she'd given up. And once we were gone, we might never
see her again. So really there was no point even thinking about it.

So I tried not to, but I admit I was pretty nervous by the time I got started
on dinner. I didn't like deluding myself, but it happened very easily. Even
after everything that had happened to us, I still found it difficult to believe
that anything bad could happen to me and Alice. I felt that our happily ever
after was inevitable. It probably was, considering how unbreakable the bond
between me and Alice had become, but there was always potential for people like
Victoria and Rosalie to fuck things up in their own little ways. I'd feel a lot
better when we finally escaped to Forks. Then I could start worrying about how
my mom might fuck things up instead.

Jane and Leah were the first to arrive for dinner. I hadn't spoken to them
since the wedding, but Alice had called them and explained things. Neither of
them were surprised to find we had redefined our relationship at the last
second, although they were quite shocked to learn that Alice hadn't turned me.
I had been listening to Alice on the phone when she told them, and I had been
quietly astounded at how she casually explained that turning me wasn't a big
deal and she didn't want to spoil our wedding night with something like that.
She must've forgotten that she had turned Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle all on
their wedding nights, and it had always been one of her most prominent romantic
dreams. It was amazing how her whole attitude could change overnight
practically, and so sincerely. She spoke like she had truly decided that
turning me was really nothing important at all.

Alice was in the shower when they arrived, so I answered the door myself and
led them back to the kitchen where I proceeded to stir the pot vigorously so
they could see how domesticated I was. Jane plucked something out of the pot
and grinned.

"So," she said, popping it into her mouth and chewing obnoxiously. "Chickened
out, huh?"

I knew what she was referring to, and while I didn't like to think of it as
'chickening out,' I was more miffed at her picking at the food. "Jane," I
admonished.

"What?"

"Vampires don't get hungry, so I know you only did that to piss me off."

She giggled. "If I wanted to piss you off, I'd do this," she said, and spanked
my ass. Quite hard, too. "Where's Ally, anyway?" she asked, plucking another
bit of food from the pot.

"In the shower," I said, grumbling at the repeat offence.

"Ooh, I'm gonna go do her back," she said excitedly, already scampering away.
"Be back in a minute!" she called over her shoulder.

And then she ran off, presumably to fuck my wife quickly before dinner. I
watched her go and shook my head. Vampires are such casual creatures. Did the
sanctity of marriage mean nothing to these people? Ah well. Alice and I were at
a point in our relationship were we could afford to be a little carefree. She
might as well enjoy her sisters while she still has them.

Leah had turned to watch Jane go and now she turned back to me with a smirk.
"Hey," she said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as I stood at the stove.
"How're you doing?"

She asked with a certain softness, and I knew she meant the question in broader
sense than my general mood for the evening. She wanted to know if I had any
regrets about what didn't happen on the wedding night, but I didn't. So I
smiled and nodded. "I'm great," I said, and then gestured at the pot. "Wanna
try some?"

I had gotten mad at Jane for trying some, but I liked Leah more than Jane, and
it was different when I offered. But Leah wasn't interested in food. She
wrapped her arms around me from behind and snaked a hand up my top to grip one
of my breasts. "I'd love to try some," she whispered into my ear, giving my
boob a little squeeze.

I smiled. Leah was so awesome.

Abandoning the pot, I turned around and wrapped my arms around the taller
woman's neck, looking up into her dark eyes. I owed Leah so much. It had taken
a while before we'd really become friends, but now she was almost like a real
sister to me, aside from the fact that I liked getting naked with her. If it
wasn't for Leah I might've permanently ruined my relationship with Alice. That
conversation on the dancefloor on the night of my wedding had been exactly what
I needed to show me the truth. I was going to miss her, but if anyone would
understand why we had to go, it would be her.

I wanted to tell her all this, but instead I just lifted my mouth and kissed
her. She was a vampire and vampires tend to speak with their bodies. So I
guided her hand against my chest and let my body show her how much I valued her
friendship.

I ended up burning dinner a little bit, but it's like not vampires particularly
enjoy food, so I didn't fret over it. By the time Alice had finished in the
shower—and finished Jane—Carlisle and Esme had arrived, Carlisle with a bottle
of champagne he'd picked up and Esme with many congratulations about the
wedding, as if she hadn't actually been there herself. Victoria and Rosalie
were the last to arrive, and neither with much enthusiasm. Victoria swaggered
in with her usual scornful aplomb and Rosalie trailed behind her, with a cold
glance for me and a smile for Alice. None of them had any clear idea why Alice
hadn't turned me yet, but no one mentioned it. They seemed to assume it was a
sensitive topic.

Soon dinner was served and we were all seated at the dinner table. The
champagne was poured and Alice rose with her glass to make the announcement. I
suppose there was no harm doing it before we ate; vampires had no appetite
anyway.

"Okay, guys, listen up," Alice said brightly. "Bella and I have an
announcement."

Victoria had gone to sip her champagne, but now she lowered it with a loud
sigh. "I can only imagine," she remarked dryly. "Whatever it is, I do hope it
will cause none of us to run from the room the way your announcements usually
do. Dinner smells so wonderful, after all, and it would be an insult to the
hostess to waste it."

She said this with a smirk in my direction, half compliment, half sarcasm. Her
words gave me a bad feeling. Not only were they probably pretty true, but it
made me nervous how openly scornful she had become of Alice. She had always
been an abusive kind of woman, but she had always done it with charm and a
general intention to titillate. Lately it was like she really did mean to mock.

Alice didn't let the interruption deter her. "Actually," she said, keeping her
smile in place. "Bella and I have decided to spend our honeymoon in Forks."

This wasn't even the full announcement, and it didn't make much of an impact. A
round of glances were exchanged, as if nobody was quite sure what the correct
expression was. It was Jane who spoke first.

"Gee," she said. "How romantic."

She had a point; a drizzly climate where one's estranged mother was waiting
with certain disapproval wasn't usually a couple's first choice for a romantic
getaway. Maybe I should've explained to Alice that the term honeymoon wasn't
really appropriate, since we wouldn't actually be coming back. But Alice seemed
as determined as possible to paint our departure in the brightest possible
light.

Victoria spoke next, with another dry sigh. "I'm sure we're all very happy for
you, Alice," she said, "but was an announcement really necessary? Speaking for
myself, I could care less for your honeymoon plans."

Alice's smile flickered but she pushed on. "Actually, it's not just a
honeymoon," she said. She glanced at me, perhaps for encouragement, and she
then smiled at her family. "We're going to stay in Forks for a while. We…might
not even come back."

There had been a few smiles around the table, but now the smiles slowly faded.
No one sipped their champagne, they just put their glasses back on the table.
Even Leah looked down at her plate with something like disappointment. Rosalie
went stiff and tried to keep her face cold, but she couldn't keep the hate out
of her eyes as she glared at me.

Alice filled the awkward silence with an awkward explanation. "Bella and I
talked about it and we feel it's best," she said. "I don't want Bella to be
apart from her mother anymore, and she needs to finish school, and… well, we
just want to start over. Alone. Just us."

Jane blinked sadly. I could imagine how disappointed she was. She had been
Alice's fuck-buddy for six hundred years; and now Alice wanted to move on.
"You're leaving the coven," she said quietly. It wasn't a question.

Alice was still standing with a glass of champagne in her hand. "Well, for now,
at least," she said, nodding. Part of me hoped this was even true. Alice and I
did need time to ourselves, but I didn't want her to abandon her family
forever. "I mean, you guys know how much I love Bella," Alice went on, trying
to make then understand. "None of you ever believed me when I said she was my
true mate, but she is. And I'm never going to be happy until I can find a way
to love her properly. And…I just don't think I'm gonna find that here. We need
to start over."

Another round of glances. I think most of them understood, even Jane. Carlisle
gave Alice a small smile, as if to reassure her, and Esme, although fretful,
managed a smile as well. Leah wasn't happy, but she gave me a little smirk, as
if to sympathize at having such a difficult wife, since she had one, too.

The only two who did not seem capable of being happy for us were Victoria and
Rosalie.

Rosalie was visibly struggling to keep herself under control. Her icy eyes had
filled with tears and her chest rose and fell with each breath as she held back
the anger and betrayal that was undoubtedly coursing through her.

But even scarier was Victoria.

The redhead was the only person at the table other than Alice who was still
holding a champagne glass. All through Alice's speech she had been staring
impassively at a spot on the table, unblinking, unmoving, no expression at all
on her gorgeous face. I was watching her anxiously, anticipating some kind of
explosion.

But it didn't come, and as the silence dragged on, she finally stirred. She
heaved another sigh, lifted her champagne flute, and downed the whole glass.
Outwardly she appeared completely calm and composed, but when she put down the
glass, she slammed it on the table hard enough to snap the stem. My heart
flinched in fright at the soft sound of cracking crystal, and even Jane went
tense. Rosalie glanced at her mistress, but Victoria's expression hadn't
changed. The broken glass rolled off the table and shattered on the floor, and
the redhead rose casually from her chair, as if nothing was odd about her
behavior at all.

"Well, I for one wish you the best of luck," she said pleasantly, all contrary
to the restrained violence in her body. "Life with you as been exceedingly
annoying since you met that girl, but if you ever do manage to sort yourselves
out, then please, by all means – return and we can all be friends. Until then,
I suppose this is farewell."

Alice should've just let her go, but she couldn't help feeling wounded at how
obviously her former mistress now hated her, no matter how irrational that was.
"Just like that, Vicky?" she asked quietly.

It was the wrong thing to say. Victoria had turned to leave, but now she spun
back again, so fast her red hair flared. "What else would you have of me,
Alice?" she hissed. "Would you like me to tear my heart out of my chest and
slap it on the table? Would that satisfy you?"

Alice didn't answer. I felt a surge of protectiveness at the hurt that swept
over my mate's face, but I didn't want to provoke the redhead. She looked as
ready to snap as the champagne flute.

And maybe I did feel just a little sorry for her. All her life she had treated
Alice as nothing more than a slave, but it was obvious that Alice's devotion
had been more dear to her than she'd ever realized. And now Alice was going.
She would truly never have Alice again.

Victoria had regained her composure, and after taking a breath, she turned to
Rosalie. "Are you coming Rosalie?" she asked. Usually the redhead ordered, not
asked. She was obviously requiring Rosalie to choose.

Rosalie hesitated just a second. Her mistress's outburst had sobered her
slightly, and her expression was almost a mirror of Alice's. Hurt. Regret. She
rose from the table, without speaking, and turned to Victoria. She took
Victoria's arm and Victoria led her away. Then they were gone.

Alice was still standing with her champagne flute, as if she didn't know what
to do with it. Obviously, the toast was ruined. Finally she put the glass down
and simply stood there waiting for someone to speak. I was still just sitting
beside her, not knowing what to do. I should've known an announcement was a
dumb idea, but what else could we do? Leave without telling anyone? Call them
up one by one to say farewell over the phone?

Esme cleared her throat and rose from the table. "Well, I suppose we'd better
be going as well," she said. "Thank you very much for dinner, Bella, it…smelt
wonderful."

I smiled. Good thing I simply enjoyed cooking, or I might've been pissed that
it was being wasted. "Thanks," I said, appreciating the attempt at smoothing
over the awkwardness.

Esme nodded and turned to Alice with a brittle smile. "We'll see you again
before you leave, won't we Alice?" she asked. "You're not going to just
disappear, are you?"

Alice took both her hands, happy for the supportiveness. "Of course we'll see
you again," she said. "We won't be leaving for a few weeks, anyway."

"Oh good," Esme said. She didn't let go of Alice's hands and I could see in her
face that she was struggling for positivity. "Well, I think this is a very good
decision you've made," she said finally. "I've always encouraged you to do the
right thing for Bella. I just wish…"

She trailed off, unable to pretend convincingly. She didn't want Alice to go;
it was that simple. Carlisle had risen from the table as well, and now he
cleared his throat to get his wife's attention. He didn't say anything, goodbye
or otherwise, and he seemed to understand that there were really no words for
the situation. Esme glanced at him, realizing it was time to go, and then she
turned back to Alice, still holding her hands.

"Well, I suppose we'd better go," she said. "Thank you again for dinner,
Bella."

I nodded. Alice smiled at her. Esme hesitated a moment longer, and then she
lifted Alice's hands and kissed them, and then she placed a long kiss on
Alice's mouth. Then she turned and hurried from the room. Carlisle gave me a
nod to say goodbye, a smile for Alice, and then he turned and followed his wife
out.

Only Jane and Leah were left, our two best friends. They had rose from the
table too, and Jane heaved a forlorn sigh. She had recovered her edge and she
didn't seem sad anymore. "Well, I guess we better get outta here too," she
said. She gave Alice a hug. "This isn't goodbye forever, right Ally?"

"Of course not," Alice said, hugging her back. "I'll always love you, Jane."

Jane chuckled and pushed her back. "Alright, let's not get mushy," she said.
"Just promise you'll stay in touch."

Alice smiled, and then she took Jane's face in her hands and placed a lavish
tongue kiss on her mouth. Leah glanced at me and rolled her eyes. I smirked. We
stood around waiting for a moment, and finally Alice released Jane. "I
promise," she whispered, and even though Alice had a habit of breaking
promises, Jane seemed to believe her. The small blonde smiled, a rare genuine
smile, and then she stepped back.

Leah gestured at me with her chin. "When are you turning her?" she asked Alice.

Alice smiled at me and back at Leah. "Tonight, I suppose," she said. "We don't
want to make a big deal about it, we just want to get it over with so that we
can be together properly."

Leah smirked at me, flickering her eyes over my body. "She's gonna be hungry
when she wakes up," she said.

Alice wrapped her arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. "She'll have
me," she said. "Won't you, baby? I can't wait to let you feed from me. You're
gonna love it."

I blushed; even now when I was still half-human, the thought of biting Alice
filled me with anticipation. I just hoped she'd let me bite her ass. I'd been
fantasizing about that for ages.

"And then?" Leah prodded. "You can't satisfy a newborn thirst all on your own."

"Well, can I count on you guys?"

Jane giggled. "Sure," she said, and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed
me graphically. "How 'bout it, Bella?" she asked with an impish coyness after
she pulled back. "Wanna bite me?"

Leah smirked and pulled Jane away. "Come on, let's leave them alone," she said.
Alice giggled and I was blushing from the kiss. Leah nodded at me. "Good luck,
Bella," she said on her way out. "I'm happy for you."

I smiled brightly; I really loved Leah. "Thanks," I said.

Jane giggled at my blush and Leah tugged her out into the corridor. I looked at
Alice. We heard them bickering playfully in the hall and a couple seconds later
we heard the door open and close. And finally we were alone.

Alice sighed and put her hands on her hips, sweeping her gaze over the table.
Her eyes settled on the broken champagne flute and I looked at it too. The
announcement hadn't been perfect, but under the circumstances I suppose we were
lucky to avoid violent tragedy.

"Well, I guess we better clean up," she said. "Were you hungry?"

I shook my head. Alice stepped up to me and put her arms around me. Smiling, I
returned the embrace, and for a moment we just looked at each other. Closeness
like this had always had a way of disabling my brain functions. All I could do
was stare at her and smile and love everything about her.

She enjoyed my mute devotion for a moment, and then she smiled. "Sorry dinner
got ruined, baby," I said. "I know you worked really hard."

"It's okay," I said, honestly not caring. Her body pressed up against mine had
created a need between my legs, and still smiling, I asked: "Can we have sex
before we clean up?"

She pretended to think about it with a cute little pout, but I knew she
wouldn't say no. "I'm not sure," she said. "Is that normal couple behavior, do
you think?"

I nodded, playing along. "I think so," I said. "We're still newlyweds, aren't
we?"

"Well," she said with a giggle. "Okay."

My hands were already cupping her butt, and using all of my strength as a
human, I lifted her up and set her back down again on the kitchen counter. She
giggled at how I grunted with the effort and closed her legs around my body. I
smiled and kissed her, pulling her face down to mine and parting her lips with
my tongue. After tonight I was going to be as strong as a vampire, and I was
already looking forward to manhandling her a little.

After we cleaned up the kitchen we went for a shower together, and despite
Alice's desire to keep the event as meaningless as possible, she couldn't help
ritualizing it just a little. She washed me with her own hands, slowly and
leaving no area uncovered, making sure I was as pure and pristine as possible
for my last moments as a human. I indulged her, simply standing there and
enjoying the sensation of her soapy hands gliding across my skin.

When we were done in the shower we put our clothes in the hamper. We didn't
bother putting on any fancy underwear or setting out a selection of toys. We
simply slipped under the covers, naked, and made love one last time before I
died and came back as Alice's one true mate. We had been girlfriends, lovers,
and wives, but tonight…tonight was when we were truly going to be joined
forever.

Alice was kissing my mouth and rubbing her body against mine. I moaned and
stroked my hands up and down her back, the covers sliding down below our hips.
She moved her lips to my breasts, cupping them with her hands and taking the
nipples into her mouth, making me with shiver with anticipation. Finally she
lowered her lips further between my thighs and began licking at my entrance,
nice long licks that made me spread my legs even wider as I moved my hips
against her mouth. I began moaning and groaning as the orgasm built inside me
and finally I came. She completed the tryst by rubbing herself against me until
her own release came, and then she laid flat on top of me and kissed me, her
little breaths panting against my lips.

"Are you ready, baby?" she asked, gazing into my eyes.

"Yes," I whispered. "Is it going to hurt?"

"I'm afraid so. The bite will have to pierce your breastbone, but the
transition should be painless." She lowered her hand across my chest, caressing
my breast for a moment before covering my heart with her palm. "I'm going to
bite you in the chest," she explained in a soft whisper. "And inject my venom
directly into your heart. Okay?"

I covered her hand with my own, holding it there. "Okay."

She smiled at me. Her fangs had elongated more than normal and she ran the tip
of her tongue across them as she gazed at me with dark and lusty eyes. "Are you
positive this what you want, Bella?" she asked. She knew the answer, but she
wanted to hear it out loud. "After this, you'll be mine forever," she said.
"Heart, body, and soul. Is that what you want?"

"Yes," I said, gripping her hand. Underneath it my heart had began beating very
hard. "It's what I want more than anything. All I ever wanted to be was yours,
Alice. Just promise me you'll never leave me."

Her smile widened and she placed a kiss on my lips. "I promise," she whispered
into my mouth. "You're never going to get rid of me, baby. Never."

"Thank you," I said. "I love you, Alice."

"I love you too, baby," she said. "Are you ready?"

I nodded and as I nodded a feeling of dreamy happiness settled over me. This
was it; it was finally happening. Alice and I were going to be together
forever. And this was the beginning.

Alice placed one last kiss on my lips, and then she shifted lower on my body.
She placed kisses over the area where my heart throbbed away in loving
devotion, and I heard a low growl build in her chest. She hadn't fed from me in
days and her bloodlust was strong. My eyes were closed and my hands were
threaded in her soft and silky hair. I felt her fangs poke my chest. They were
so sharp it felt like two little needles. She applied more pressure and I
winced as the skin was punctured. The taste of my blood broke the last of her
restraint and suddenly her inch long fangs impaled into my heart.

—

***** Chapter 40 *****
—

Chapter 40:

—

I gasped.

My whole body arched off the mattress and almost bucked Alice away. But the
pain only lasted an instant. Because after the sickening crunch of her teeth
through my breastbone came the venom, injected directly into my heart from the
tips of her slender fangs. In those first moments I cried out and tried to
thrash from underneath her, but she held me down with her mouth clamped to my
chest and her fangs buried deep inside, like some atavistic adder slithered
into the bed beside me, warm and scaleless and yet no less poisonous or
serpentine. Under the sweet sting of her fangs I slowly went still and gasped
and gasped again, holding her head to my breast as all of Alice's love and
lust, all of her hopes and dreams and all her desires, as all of it was poured
directly into my heart and pumped out through my whole body.

My hands were slowly going slack as massive amounts of bright heart blood
gushed from the wound, covering her lower face and running warmly over my
breasts and soaking the sheet beneath me. She moaned and bit harder, pushing
her fangs in deeper, but I was beyond the pain by now. I only gave another soft
gasp and the corners of my mouth turned up in a glazed smile. I was so happy.
Alice's venom was the nicest thing I'd ever felt and it was flowing all through
me. Through my arms and my legs and all through my torso. Tingling in my veins
like a drug.

My hands came loose and flopped to the mattress where my wrists bounced once.
My legs had gone slack as well and now my thighs lay splayed with Alice between
them, grinding her fangs even deeper into my heart. I gasped again, but it
sounded more like a sigh. She continued to feed from my helpless form and
finally she raised her face. The withdraw of her fangs made me whimper and I
managed to turn my lidded eyes onto her.

She was kneeling between my legs and smiling at me softly. A pretty smile, so
warm and beautiful – even despite the fangs that poked her lip and the gore
caked all over her face.

For a moment we just looked at each other. I returned the smile, so happy and
glazed over from her venom. Between my eyes and hers, my naked chest was going
dark and red. My breasts were drenched. Blood was squirting from the two holes
in my chest in two little fountains. As if the sheer amount of love it held had
somehow ruptured my heart itself. I was too weak to move, overcome by the blood
loss and the bliss of her poisonous kiss. I could hardly managed to smile and
move my eyes to watch her. Watch as she stirred to life and moved from between
my thighs. As she closed my legs for me and straightened them on the bed. She
took my hands and composed them on my chest. I could feel the blood pumping
under my palms and slowly I let my eyes fall closed. Laying there naked and
blood soaked, like a dead virgin on an altar.

Finally I felt Alice climb on top of me and her lips lower to my ear. "Don't
fight it, baby," she whispered. "Just let yourself go. It won't hurt, I
promise. Just a quick sleep and then we can be together forever. I'll be right
here when you wake up. I love you, baby. I love you so much…"

I loved her, too.

I truly, truly did.

—

I don't know what I had expected. Dreams, delirium, hysteria in the heart as I
lay in the throes of some dark metamorphosis. But it was nothing like that. It
was every bit as painless as Alice had promised. It felt like falling asleep
while already asleep. Like slipping from one dream into another. It didn't even
feel like a change; it felt like a completion.

I was strangely aware through the whole process, not quite conscious, but not
quite unconscious, either. My eyes remained closed, and as Alice advised, I
didn't fight it. I had no desire to. It had been a little scary in the
beginning, but only for a second or two. I was used to the sight of blood and
the feel of her venom could never make me panic. Her venom was all I lived for.
I had learnt to crave it even more than she craved my blood. So I didn't fight
it, I just let myself go. Laying there with my eyes closed and my pale lips
slightly parted as I drifted away in warm waves of euphoria, the venom burning
in my body, but burning nicely, pleasantly. I was aware of Alice the whole
time. She didn't leave me for a single second. I could feel her weight on top
of me, her body spread across mine, and at first this felt nice. But after a
while I became aware that I wanted to touch her. To put my arms around her. To
see her. The longing began to grow and it was this longing that finally woke me
up.

My eyes fluttered, once, twice. The first thing I saw was her smile. She had
cleaned herself up with a sheet and her smile was soft and radiant in the
morning sunlight that spilled from the window over the bed. Her fangs were gone
and the smile was as pretty and pure as the sunrise itself – aside from the
pinkish tinge around her mouth and the residue of blood I could see in the
grooves of her lips.

It occurred to me how perfectly that moment symbolized Alice's entire persona.
So pretty and cute and adorably harmless – until you look a little closer.

The thought made me smile and my own smile widened hers. For a moment we just
looked at each other, our eyes moving slightly as we soaked each other in. I
realized she was admiring my newly vampiric beauty, and I was doing the same
thing. Her face was only inches away from mine, and with my vampire eyes it
seemed like the first time I had ever really seen her. She was so clear and
beautiful. Her skin so perfectly smooth, so pale and lustrous like marble. Her
nose, small and upturned just slightly. And her eyes. They were so huge and
sparkly. I could see each eyelash and I could see how the honey-colored pigment
of her iris darkened toward the pupil. Our eyes met as they fluttered over each
other's faces and for a moment we held each other's gaze. I waited for her to
speak first, and when she spoke her voice came out in whisper, soft and full of
happiness.

"Hey," she said.

The sound of her voice caused a wave of happiness to roll over me. "Hey," I
replied, and as I did I felt my tongue brush against my fangs.

Fangs.

Suddenly my stomach gave a gigantic lurch.

I had fangs – I was a vampire.

The thought washed over me and made me dizzy. It was like I had only just
realized, despite the fact that I'd been perfectly aware as I had examined
Alice's face. It was the fangs in my mouth that suddenly made it seem real. My
smile evaporated into an expression of shock that made her giggle. I was using
my tongue to feel out the fangs, my heart flickering in excitement at how sharp
they were. I had never given much thought to the idea of having fangs—I'd been
more concerned with the immortality part—but feeling them now in my own mouth
filled me with a sense of dark exhilaration. Venom began pooling under my
tongue and I had a sudden urge to use my new fangs.

On Alice.

Lips parted, I lowered my eyes to her neck, mesmerized by the soft flesh there.
So pale. So inviting. I could see the beat of her pulse just gently under the
skin and my mind slowly began to cloud over. The sense of lust was
indescribable. Overwhelming, overpowering. Intoxicating. My breath was going in
and out and I wanted so badly to grab her and bite her, to sink my teeth into
that beautiful skin and make it bleed and drink all the blood, and—

"I know," she said gently, as if all this was plain in my eyes to see. "Come
here."

She lifted me in her arms and rose up, straddling my lap. Despite the lust that
had invaded my mind, I was very weak, almost too weak to move. My head lolled
backwards, but Alice threaded her hands in my hair and steadied me, guiding my
mouth to her neck. A soft whimper escaped me and my eyes filled with tears. In
that moment I understood Alice's craving for consent, for a willing victim. To
have a lust like this, something so powerful and overwhelming, and to have the
release willingly and even eagerly offered – it filled me with such wonderful
sensations of affection and thankfulness, such an elated sense of joy and
happiness, that it felt like falling in love with her all over again.

And it made me wonder – was this how she fell in love with me? Did my simple
consent to the strongest desire in her being create this same feeling of
fondness and gratitude?

But my mind was too hazed to wonder for more than a second. What did it matter?
Alice loved me and I loved Alice, and now Alice was going to let me bite her. I
was so excited. A hot blush had smothered my face and I whimpered again as she
nursed my head into the crook of her neck.

"Go ahead, baby," she whispered, her voice soft and breathless with her own
excitement. "It'll be your first bite, so enjoy it. Okay?"

I had opened my mouth and my teeth were poking her skin. Her scent was swirling
in my head, whispering sweet urgencies directly into my mind, telling me to
hurry, to oh please hurry. I could feel her warm skin yielding beneath my
fangs, but I hesitated, savoring the moment. Tears of restraint were streaming
from my closed eyes and my whole body was trembling. The anticipation was
driving me crazy. It seemed so unfathomable; in a second I was going to pierce
Alice's skin with my teeth and taste her blood. Every fiber of my being cried
out for me to do it, do it now. But the anticipation was so incredible, so
maddening, that I almost didn't want it to stop. I had never lusted for Alice
like this in all my life, and it felt so right, so appropriate, that I never
wanted it to go away. Venom was dripping from my mouth and soaking her neck and
my restraint was getting weaker and weaker, and—

"Please, baby," she whispered in my ear, her voice trembly with urgency. "I've
been waiting for this for so long. Don't make me wait any longer. Please,
just—"

Her gentle pleas broke the last of my restraint. With a low moan I sunk my
fangs into her neck.

She gasped, so softly, so beautifully. The first splash of hot blood entered my
mouth and I almost screamed into the wound from how delicious it was. My arms
came up and one of my hands wrenched back her head by the hair, exposing more
of her neck, groaning and driving my fangs in deeper. Blood flowed past my lips
and every tastebud on my tongue exploded in an exquisite orgasm of the mouth.
It was unlike anything I ever could've expected. I moaned and moaned and kept
moaning, sucking at her neck and wrenching her head back so savagely I almost
tore it off. She cried out and gripped her fingers into my back, her legs
tightening around my waist.

"Yes," she gasped, rubbing herself against me, as if she wanted to melt into
me. "Oh baby. Yes. Yes. Oh god, I can't believe how wonderful it is. This is
what I always wanted. I got confused sometimes, but I know now. This is what I
always wanted. I always wanted this."

Even in my lusted-haze her words made me smile inside. How many times was Alice
going to redefine what she wanted out of this relationship? Will she ever truly
decide?

But I could understand how she felt. It was the same way I had felt only days
ago, when it was Alice doing the biting and me so proud and happy to be her
victim. I hadn't always enjoyed being bitten, but I had learnt to love it, to
define myself by it. It was an intoxicating feeling to have the power of
satisfying such a hunger. When Alice fed on me, it made me feel needed and
desired in the most basic and visceral way. That was what she was feeling now.
It was a wonderful feeling, and in typical Alice fashion, she had promptly
assumed that it was what she was looking for her whole life. And who knows?
Maybe it was.

"Oh baby," she said, and now a giggle was in her voice, as if her happiness was
simply bubbling out of her. "Oh baby, stop for a second. Stop, stop, stop. Let
me look at you."

The initial rush of uncontrollable hunger was over, and I managed to tear
myself away from the wound as she requested. My breath was shuddering in and
out of me and I licked my lips, wondering what she wanted. Her own breath was
trembly and she took my face in her hands, still sitting on my lap with her
legs around my waist. She blinked at me; her eyes were bright and sparkly with
some brand new happiness. Blood was leaking from her neck and flowing down her
naked front. My eyes flickered as I fought the urge to lick it all up, and then
I lifted my eyes to hers. She smiled.

"You're so beautiful, baby," she said. "You have no idea."

I swallowed, somehow not really capable of speech. I could feel my mouth and
the lower half of my face all covered with blood – her blood. Was that what she
meant by beautiful. She blinked at me, smiling as if she was proud in some way,
and then her smile went a touch impish.

"Open your mouth, baby," she said. "Let me see your fangs."

I opened my mouth obediently, even eagerly. As she had mentioned it, I felt an
urge to show them off. So I gulped down my excitement once more and opened
wide, like a child revealing her first adult teeth. Alice smiled and bent
slightly, as if to get a better look. She lifted a hand and touched a finger
into my mouth, tracing the pattern of my blood stained teeth.

"So pretty," she whispered, pushing the pad of her finger against the tip of
one of my fangs. My stomach lurched with the desire to bite the finger and suck
on it, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. Alice took the finger out of my
mouth and put it into her own, her eyes closing dreamily as she sampled the
mingled taste of my venom and her blood. Then she opened her eyes and smiled a
little darkly. "So fucking sexy," she whispered, and then leaned her face
toward my mouth.

I kept my mouth open and fought with every ounce of my strength to remain in
control as she began to slowly lick the blood from my lips. Then her tongue
entered my mouth and began to slither around my teeth and fangs, licking up the
blood and the pooling venom. My chest was trembling with excitement, my
restraint at the absolute edge. I gave a soft whimper, silently begging her for
more blood. But she just continued to lick, slowly exploring the inside of my
mouth, teasing me, tormenting me. Until finally I couldn't take it anymore; I
bit down on her tongue, making her squeal happily in pain, and then I threw her
down onto the bed and attacked her with a vicious kiss.

Her pain must've been only momentary because she returned the kiss very
eagerly, her arms around my neck and her naked legs immediately wrapping around
me. Her injured tongue was utterly delicious and after lapping up the pooling
blood I took her tongue into my mouth and sucked on it. She realized what I was
doing and accommodated me, opening her mouth and elongating her tongue as far
as it would go. I moaned and slurped on it like a lollipop, the blood driving
me crazy.

She let me do this for a while, but then she had a better idea. She flipped me
onto my back and began to tongue me with more of her usual dominance, scraping
her tongue against my fangs to refresh the wound and make it bleed again. She
swirled it around mine and moaned, blood and venom and saliva all pooling and
drooling from our mouths.

Soon her tongue began to stop bleeding and she slowed the kiss down. By now my
pussy was in a rage of horniness and the sensation distracted me from the blood
lust and reminded me that this was Alice; my lover, my mate, my wife. My
feelings for her were far deeper than simple lust, and even though I was still
half-crazed, I responded to the slowness of the kiss, stroking my hands up and
down her back as I moaned softly into her mouth.

Finally she broke the kiss and smiled. Her teeth were pink with blood and the
wound in her neck had already closed due to her vampire regeneration. She had
always been pale, but I could notice an extra paleness in her eyelids. My
thirst had already consumed a portion of her, and even in these opening moments
in my life as a vampire, I began to understand Alice's former death-fetish; it
would've been so nice to rip apart her neck and destroy her completely.

"So," she said, smiling at the dark glint in my eyes. "How do you like being a
vampire so far?"

I licked my lips languidly. The gesture came to me perfectly natural, but I
realized how sexy it would've looked and the realization made me bold and gave
me a jolt of horniness. "It's fucking awesome," I replied. It was a somewhat
shallow response to such a life altering change, but I'd never been a
particularly deep young woman.

She giggled, so apparently she agreed. "It is, isn't it?" she said. "I've
always loved it too." Then she pouted cutely. "It only starts to suck when it
takes six hundred years to find your soulmate."

I smiled and arched up against her, rubbing my body against hers slightly.
Again, it was an unconscious gesture, but it struck me as sultry and gave me a
little flicker of pride. I wasn't sure if I would've done it as a human or if
my recent change had made me a little bolder, but either way it was pretty
cool. "I guess I'm lucky," I said. "I found mine without even looking."

"You certainly are," she said with a charming giggle. But then she looked into
my eyes for a moment, as if wondering how lucky I really was, and her smile
dimmed a little. "I know we had a rocky start, baby," she said, "but it's all
gonna be different from now on. I'm going to make you so happy. You really are
going to be the luckiest girl in the world, I promise."

"I already am, Alice," I replied honestly. "I was lucky when I first saw you."

She smiled coyly, showcasing her girlish insecurity. "Do you really mean that,
baby?"

"Of course I do," I said, pulling her down into a kiss. "I love you, Alice," I
said, whispering into her mouth, still kissing her. "No matter what happens
between us, I'll always love you. No one makes me feel the way you make me
feel."

There was a tang of blood in her mouth, but it was faint. I deepened the kiss,
trying to taste more, and she tried to talk through it, her voice muffled and
slurred.

"Thank you," she gasped. "I love you too, baby. Mmm! I love you so much. I
love—"

But I flipped her onto her back and pushed my hips against her, letting her
know that as much as I loved her I was still extremely horny. She giggled.

"Oh baby," she smiled. "Is baby still hungry?"

"Mmhm," I said, eyeing her naked form hungrily. I was kneeling between her legs
and she was laying there with her legs open, smiling up at me with a naughty
sparkle in her eyes.

"Well, I'll tell you what," she said. "I know I said I didn't want to do
anything special, but…"

She trailed off and I grinned. A guilty flush appeared over her face, but she
didn't need to explain. I knew she was committed to making our relationship
healthy and strong, but a girl can't change overnight. Alice would always have
a strong inclination toward extravagance. Besides, I could also understand how
laying naked under the lusty gaze of your vampiric lover could trigger a few
darker urges – I had experienced those same urges myself.

"Yes?" I said, smirking down at her, feeling more of that vampire-boldness. I'd
always thought that becoming a vampire might make me intelligent and refined,
but I still felt as immature as ever – my girlfriend was naked and she wanted
me to do things to her. Heehee.

She smiled and explained with a blush. "Well, you only get your first time
once," she said, "so we should at least make it memorable. Not for me, but for
you. I don't want you to feel like a monster, but I don't want you to suppress
any of these new things your feeling either."

That sounded familiar. I wondered if she realized she was echoing my exact
anxieties leading up to the wedding. Either way, it was a little too deep for
me, personally. I didn't feel like a monster at all and I hadn't planned to
suppress anything. Maybe that would come later, but right now as I looked down
at her bloody neck, all I felt was hunger.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, trying to keep the eagerness out of my
voice so that she wouldn't feel pressured.

But she only smiled, as if this was the perfect question. "Anything," she said.
"I want you to do anything you want."

The offer washed over me with dizzying excitement.

Anything.

I gulped down the venom that had suddenly pooled in my mouth.

"Anything?" I asked.

"Anything," she confirmed, laying there passively with her legs open, her body
so soft and exposed, so warm, so beautiful. "Bite me anywhere you want, okay?
And don't stop until you've had enough."

I had began trembling slightly, so eager to begin, but—

"But what if…" I said.

She smiled and shook her head. "I'll let you know if it gets dangerous," she
said. "Don't worry, baby, I won't let you kill me. I just want you to ravish me
a little, kay?"

"O-okay," I stuttered, blinking down at her, unsure how to begin. It just
seemed so overwhelming. Alice's whole body – where to bite first? How could I
possibly decide? It was all so sexy. I wanted it all, but I had to pick one
part first, and—

"May I make a suggestion, baby?" she asked, and without waiting for a reply,
she rolled over onto her stomach and displayed her gorgeous little ass. "For
your first non-neck bite, I think you should do it right here," she said,
touching a fingertip to one of her soft round buttocks. "You've always loved my
ass, and it would be like marking your territory, or asserting ownership. This
ass is going to belong to you forever, baby. So come on. Mark it. Make it
yours."

The offer was so intoxicating that I couldn't even speak. Instead I just placed
a hand on her ass and caressed it gently. So warm. So soft. She moaned
encouragingly, squirming gently under the hand, and a wave of sheer lust rolled
over my whole body. She wanted it. She wanted me to bite her ass.

"Mmm," she moaned. "Hurry, baby."

A spasm of lust rippled through my core. I didn't know if I should growl or
squeal, but instead I took a shaky breath and began to lower my face to the
warm flesh under my hand, to the taut and shapely softness that was – Alice's
ass.

I touched my cheek to it and rubbed, savoring the anticipation, knowing that
release was on it's way and the torment was only temporary. My fangs had
retracted slightly while we were talking, but I could feel them growing again,
lengthening in my mouth. I felt that oh so familiar lurching in my stomach and
for a second I had to marvel at how none of this was really new. I had felt it
all before, ages ago. Ever since I had first laid eyes on her I had been
stricken with this same hunger, this same longing. Only now it was more
intense, more literal. I didn't just hunger for her; I hungered for her.

So I slowly turned my face and pressed my lips to her buttock. It was her left
one. My hand was on the right, each of them as soft and warm as the other. I
kissed it once, just softly. Again, firmer. I let my eyes fall closed and let
my tongue out of my mouth, dragging it along the hill of her buttock before
popping it back into my mouth and kissing again with my lips, and again, and
again, my breath shivering in and out of my nostrils.

"Oh god," Alice said in a groaning giggle. "You're such a freak, baby."

I blushed at that, still struggling to contain myself. My stomach was hollow
with hunger, desperate for her blood. Feeling my control beginning to slip, I
opened my mouth and let my fangs graze along her skin, letting her feel how
hungry I was, how close I was to sinking my teeth into her luscious ass.

"Go ahead, baby," she whispered, her voice turning urgent. "You know I want you
to."

I let my fangs dimple her skin, not breaking it but slowly applying more
pressure. The anticipation was indescribable, knowing that any second my teeth
were going pierce her skin like the skin of a fruit and hot blood was going to
come pouring out. Finally her skin broke. One of my fangs punctured into her
buttock, but before any blood could well, Alice gave a little gasp. Her ass
twitched in excitement, and that's all it took to break my restraint; with a
low moan that was almost a growl, I forced my teeth into her soft flesh.

The blood gushed instantly, slower than the wound in her neck, but still
filling my mouth. She giggled and jiggled on the mattress playfully, but I
gripped her hips and gulped down the blood, keeping my lips fastened to the
wound and half orgasming from how delicious it was.

"Mmm," Alice moaned. "That feels so nice. Keep going, baby."

I wanted to, but there was no vein or artery there, and soon the blood began to
slow. I opened my eyes and looked at the wound liddedly. A pink stain on her
white buttock. It made me smile, looking at what I'd done to her beautiful ass,
and I licked my lips as I watched the blood well from the two holes in her
pretty skin, my tongue toying with my fangs. Then I leaned the licked the blood
as it ran down the curve of her hip.

I kept doing this until the blood stopped and then I bit into her other
buttock. It didn't take her by surprise, it only made her giggle. I sucked on
the wound, relishing the taste of the blood and the feel of her skin under my
lips, and when the blood slowed I stopped sucking and began to lick. Then I
selected another spot and bit again, and then another spot, until I had made a
total of five bite marks in her lovely ass, each more yummy than the last.

When I was done, I raised my face and smiled at my work, tonguing my fangs
absently. Her whole ass was stained pink and dotted with little puncture marks,
and I do say it looked very pretty. It made me horny to look at it like that,
as if I really did own, and I thought I might as well trib on it. The thirst
was satisfied for a moment, but my pussy had been aching for attention since I
first sank my teeth into her. So I mounted up onto her ass, very casually—quite
proud of the bold way I did it—and began to rub myself against it, moaning
already at the friction against my soaked and throbbing pussy.

Alice felt the slather of my juices on her skin and giggled. "Aww, I was hoping
to use my mouth," she said. "You must be so wet and yummy by now."

"Sorry," I said, grinding down on her faster, feeling my own breasts sway. They
were larger, I was pleased to note. Vampirism has all kinds of perks, it seems.
I smiled at my chest and ground down even harder on Alice. "But I just really
love your ass."

She giggled again and pretended to be glum. "Okay, it's your orgasm," she said.
"Just remember my mouth is ready to serve, okay? When I said anything you want,
that includes telling me what to do. Okay?"

"Okay," I panted. I was so horny my climax was already approaching, and I went
even faster on her ass, scraping my clit up and back on her soft skin.

Alice could hear it in my voice and she giggled again. "Is baby almost there?
Go ahead, baby, don't hold back. It'll be your first orgasm as a vampire, but
it won't be your last. There going to be many more. Thousands and thousands. A
whole eternity worth. I'm going to love you forever, baby."

"Oh god," I moaned. I love you too, Alice. I love you. I love you. I—"

My words trailed off in a gasp as I arched my back and lifted a breathless
smile to the ceiling, mounted on her ass and clenching down with my thighs. It
wasn't the most intense orgasm of my life, but it was very lovely, and a nice
start to my life as a vampire. I knew Alice would've appreciated something more
extravagant for my first orgasm as an immortal whore of darkness, but I was
happy we had partly stuck to the original plan of not making a big deal about
it. There was nothing wrong with making things special, of course, but me and
Alice had always had problems with boundaries. Our fixation with specialness
was what had led to a wedding night in which we had almost killed each other.

And besides, deep in my heart I knew that a great bulk of my love for Alice was
rooted in the worship of her ass. It had always been her most glorious feature,
and hundreds of years from now I was sure I'd be able to look at her ever-perky
behind and remember fondly how I had ground out my first orgasm as a vampire
upon it.

Alice giggled and I was still mounted there on her ass, breathing heavily, eyes
closed. The giggle recalled me to the moment, and when I opened my eyes I saw
her naked back, so slim and bare and perfectly white. The sheets beneath were
spattered with blood, some of it still fresh, but her back was pure and
unblemished. A dark excitement began to well in the pit of my stomach and I
began to stroke my hands up and down that creamy expanse, massaging her soft
buttery muscles and feeling out the shapes of her shoulder bones, the knobs of
her spine.

"Mmm," she moaned happily. "That feels nice."

I didn't reply. The hunger was once again overpowering my ability to speak, and
now the back of her head caught my eye, her pretty black hair. I let one of my
hands travel up until it was in her hair, and then I slowly clenched it into a
fist. She tensed up slightly, but I'm sure it was just excitement. I began to
pull back her hair, lifting her whole front half off the blood-stained sheets,
and my hips pushed against her ass unconsciously; I was getting horny again.

She might've heard the low growl in my chest, but even if she didn't she knew
what I wanted. Her whole head was wrenched back and the uninjured side of her
throat exposed. She tilted her head back even more and I could hear a smile in
her voice. "Go ahead, baby," she said. "You don't have to resist it anymore.
Just go crazy, okay? It'll be the only way to really satisfy you. Ravish me,
baby. Quickly. Quickly, baby, just—"

I did. Her words caused the darkness to flare up inside me, but not just the
darkness. In the midst of the black fog of lust that rolled over my mind there
were rays of love and joy and affection for the girl who was letting me do this
to her, my mate, my wife, my Alice. I didn't want to hurt her, but I was
thrilled that she would let me, and I didn't even stop to savor the
anticipation this time. I simply swooped down and sank my fangs into the side
of her neck.

Without even attempting to restrain myself, I swiftly fell into a frenzy, like
an animal or a demon. Her body had humped up under my hips in a little spasm as
my teeth tore into her skin, but this only caused me to begin grinding my pussy
against her ass again as I sucked at the wound in her neck, moaning and
growling as the hot blood flowed into my mouth and dripped from my lips.

"Yes," she said, tilting her head back for me even more. "Keep going, baby.
Don't—"

But suddenly the position didn't seem dominating enough. I didn't know why that
was important, but I felt very strongly that her helplessness was almost as
delicious as her blood. So I abandoned my grip in her hair and grabbed her
around the neck so that I could wrench her whole torso back. She cried out as
her spine bent dangerously the wrong way, but I didn't stop or let go, I only
hauled back harder. I had sat back on her ass, and I was hugging her back to my
chest, growling into the wound on her neck as I humped at the softness beneath
my pussy.

"Yes," she hissed, her voice struggling through her contorted body. "Break me,
baby. Keep going. Keep—"

My hand had slipped lower to her chest and my fingers closed like claws around
one of her breasts. The softness of it drove me wild and suddenly I was
consumed with an urge to bite it.

So I forgot about the wound on her neck—the blood was already beginning to slow
anyway—and threw her body down onto the mattress where she bounced and began
giggling. I dismounted from her ass, my pussy throbbing and unfulfilled, and
flipped her over roughly. Her breasts came up and jiggled once, all cute and
perky on her chest. Funnels of blood had dripped from her neck and left a long
red streak between them, and I didn't pause or hesitate or wait for permission;
I grabbed one of her tits in my hand and bit into it like a fruit.

She squealed at the pain, but it was a happy squeal, a squeal of excitement.
Blood was gushing into my mouth and I moaned, biting harder, making the blood
squirt. She bucked from the pain, laughing, and as she laughed she began
beating my head with a balled fist, as if to drive me off. But I knew she
didn't want me to go anywhere. She was just enjoying her helplessness, and so
was I. So was I.

I was practically gnawing at her tit, and soon her laughs tapered off into
chuckling sobs, her whole body squirming under my teeth. My whole face was
slathered in blood and as the blood began to slow I began licking instead,
vicious licks across her red and ruined breast, half-licking the nipple off her
chest in my insane hunger.

"Do the other one, baby," she suggested breathlessly. "Quick. Tits don't bleed
much, so just have fun."

It was a fine suggestion, and if it wasn't for the dark red mist in my mind I'm
sure I would've thought of it myself. I was almost reluctant to abandon the
current breast while it was still trickling blood, but then I realized that the
other one would bleed even more, so I quickly discarded it and sank my teeth
into the other one.

I moaned as more of her beautiful blood began flowing into my mouth, and rather
than satisfy my thirst, it only made me more crazy. The more blood that pumped
into my mouth, the more I seemed to need, and with a desperate whimper I bit
harder, making her flinch and cry out. One of my fangs had punctured her areola
and I took the whole nipple into my mouth, violently sucking the blood out of
her breast like an evil infant.

She giggled and clenched her hands into my hair. "That's it, baby," she
whispered, wincing from pain. "Keep going till you've had enough."

I kept going, mindlessly sucking and licking at her chest, until finally the
lust was so thick in my head that I seemed to forget what I was doing. Finally
I raised my face and sat back on the bed, kneeling beside her. I closed my eyes
as a wave of dizziness washed over me, and touched a palm to my temple. My hand
was wet. I looked at it; it was covered in blood. I licked my lips. There was
blood all over them too. I turned my glazed eyes to Alice, and she smiled at
me, laying there in the bloody sheets with blood all over her body and blood
smeared on her face.

I swayed slightly as I looked at her, dizzy with a lust that just wouldn't go
away. Her smile was happy and loving, and yet slightly sad at the edges, as if
her very happiness was a trouble to her. In a moment of clarity I realized that
I had become a monster just like her, and the sadness in her smile was regret
that she had did this to me, that she had implanted these urges directly into
my heart. But the regret was only dim, because beyond all that was the
knowledge that we were going to be together forever, and even despite the blood
and the darkness, we going to love each other however we could.

If she had wanted me to stop, I think I might've been able to. It probably
would've been best. Alice had said she didn't want to glorify the dark stuff
anymore, and yet now I was kneeling over her where she lay there in this bed
that was soaked with her own blood. Perhaps we had already gone too far. But
she didn't suggest stopping. She simply drew her legs together and rolled onto
a hip sexily.

"Well?" she asked. "What would you like next?"

I smirked, already beginning to lower my mouth toward her in a predatory
fashion. Maybe tomorrow we could begin pretending to be normal, but today…I
just wanted to bite her.

So I sunk my teeth into the curve of her hip, once again feeling the rush of
joy as her blood entered my mouth. But I didn't spend much time on that one
bite. I withdrew my fangs and licked at the twin holes for a moment and then I
bit again nearby, and again, and again, hearing her gasp and groan with each
incision of my fangs.

The frenzy was beginning to build inside me all over again, and finally I
pushed her onto her back and sank my fangs into her midsection, just above her
womb. I made a collection of bites all over her tummy and I spent a few moments
licking at them hungrily. Her hands were threaded in my hair, and she kept
moaning encouragingly, but she didn't speak. She might've been getting weak
from the blood loss, but I didn't stop. I only raised my smeared face from the
carnage in her abdomen for just a moment and looked at her. She smiled at me
with her sparkly eyes, all happy and willing, and I felt an urge to sit on her
face and make her lick my pussy. I felt a wave of love as well, but the love of
a vampire seems to manifest in strange ways.

Blood had pooled in her navel, and I gave it a quick lick before moving away.
Alice watched me with nothing in her pale face but curiosity and eagerness and
bloodstains. I swung one of my legs over her face and mounted her backwards.
Instantly I felt her lips lift to my horny pussy, and with a growl I pushed
down on her mouth. Her tongue came out and slid inside me, and ripples of lust
began riffling through my body like electricity.

I was tonguing my fangs without realizing and as soon as I opened my eyes I
realized that I had to bite something. I was mounted over her face backwards,
and her whole body lay before me. The only part of her that wasn't stained with
blood was her legs. The were lightly smeared from rolling in the sheet, but
mostly they were still pure and white. Her thighs were open and between them
her pussy was wet and very attractive. But I wanted to save that.

So I reached and seized one of her ankles. I lifted her whole leg, squirming my
hips against her face as she continued to lick my pussy. I placed a kiss or two
on the soft meat of her calf and then I bit into it. I sucked on the wound,
moaning, and then I lowered my mouth to a fresh spot and bit again. I bit it a
few more times and let the blood run down her leg. I mopped it up with a finger
and popped the finger into my mouth, and then I let the leg fall to the
mattress.

I grabbed up the other one by the ankle and again began gnawing at her calf.
The other leg lay as it had fallen, bloody and bent, like something broken. I
let one of my hands slide to her thigh and I began stroking the soft flesh
there as I licked the blood off her calf. But then it occurred to me that her
thighs were even softer, even warmer, even tastier, so I dropped her other leg
as well and lowered my mouth to the insides of her thighs.

Alice was still eating my pussy, her hands gripping my hips, and every now and
then she'd groan in pain or excitement. I was getting very close to climaxing,
and I decided to time it with my first bite into her thigh. I was still hungry,
but the famished frenzy had tapered off to gluttonous indulgence, and I was
able to control myself well for the moment. I kissed the inside of her thigh,
teasingly close to her soaked pussy, and this made her whimper. She rededicated
her efforts to my vagina, and finally I could feel it. I panted into her thigh,
mouth open, fangs poised, and—

I bit into her just as the climax burst between my legs, moaning into the hot
gush of blood that exploded in my mouth. I didn't even pause to suck on the
wound, I immediately bit again, and again, and then I moved to her other thigh
and bit there. The act of biting her was almost as enjoyable as the blood
itself. I had never felt anything as wonderful as the sensation of her soft
flesh puncturing under my fangs and that first gout of blood as it flowed into
my mouth.

She didn't stop eating me out and soon I came again and then for a third time.
The orgasms came so swift and powerful that I actually had to stop feeding,
gasping in excitement as I pressed my face to her bloody thighs, my hips
squirming on her head as her tongue wriggled inside me.

Finally the orgasms throbbed away into small waves of lust and when I opened my
eyes I realized that I was satisfied. I dismounted from her face and flopped
down onto the bed with my eyes closed and a dreamy smile on my blood-coated
face. I felt the mattress tilt as Alice stirred and then I felt her hand on my
hip, petting me.

"Oh baby," she whispered. "I'm so happy for you. You have no idea how lucky you
are. I wanted to do all this stuff to you when I first saw you, but I couldn't
or else I'd scare you away. I had to control myself. Can you imagine how hard
it was for me?"

I chuckled and sat up, the fog rapidly clearing. "You shouldn't have let me," I
said, but smiling. "You should've made me control myself, too."

She gave me a guilty smile. A lot of the blood on her face had rubbed off on my
pussy and thighs, but there were still smears on her forehead and on her neck.
"I know," she said. "But I think it's okay for your first time. We'll start
over properly in Forks. As a newborn you're going to be very hungry. It would
be cruel to force you to control yourself, don't you think?"

I smiled and answered with a kiss, pressing my lips to hers for just a moment.
"Thank you, Alice," I said. "It was wonderful."

She giggled, pleased with herself, and then smirked. "I know, and guess what?
It's not over yet," she said. "You still have your dessert to finish up."

I think I knew what she meant, but I smiled and asked anyway. "Dessert?"

"My pussy, silly," she giggled, swatting at my shoulder playfully. "Come on, I
have a treat for you. You're gonna love it."

She arranged a blood-stained pillow against the headboard and sat back against
it with her legs open. There were slashes of blood all across the sheets and
her whole torso was covered with blood and most of her legs. She was very pale,
almost ghostly, and aside from the sparkle in her eyes and the smile on her
lips she looked almost like a murder victim arranged there by a sadistic
killer. The only place on her body that had no blood on it was her pussy, but
then she slit her wrist with one of her fangs and let the blood drip onto her
entrance.

"Go on, baby," she said. "And please hurry. You have no idea how horny I am."

The erotic display caused the lust to come rolling again through my mind, and I
crawled over to her on all fours like a feline. Her pussy was soaked with blood
and arousal, and she hissed in her breath as I dragged my tongue across it,
moaning and salivating with venom.

—

It was a somewhat disturbing beginning to our lives together as vampires, but
under the circumstances, it seemed excusable that we had gotten a little
carried away. The thirst had been far too powerful for me to resist on my own,
and in the heat of the moment, Alice had forgotten her resolution not to
glorify the dark stuff. Easy to do when the dark stuff is so fucking hot.
Still, she had at least partly stuck to her principle. The turning itself had
been very simple – and on a Wednesday night, too. Nothing special about
Wednesdays.

In any case, it was progress, and afterwards she did seem genuinely remorseful.
She was happy that I'd had a memorable first time, but disappointed with
herself that she'd let it get out of control. She went a little glum as we
changed all the bedding and flipped the mattress over to hide the blood-stains
that had seeped through. She even spoke about getting a new mattress. It had
clearly rattled her that she had broken yet another resolution, and only a day
after making it. But when she caught me looking at her pensively, she
brightened up and hustled me into the bathroom.

We had a bath together, washing each other with loofas as the water turned
pink. By the time we got out all of her wounds were healed and we went for a
shower to get even cleaner. Her skin was back to it's usual smooth perfect
pearl-like white, and that was enough to make me feel better. I had been a
little disappointed too, since it was me who did the actual biting, but as I
watched her put some clothes on, I remembered that we had a whole eternity to
get it right and one way or another we will find a way to love each other
properly.

Alice put on a pair of pink boyleg briefs—my favorite kind of panties on
her—and a white tanktop. It was enough to be considered decent within the
privacy of our own home, but revealing enough to still be very sexy. It was
almost lunch time, but obviously neither of us were hungry, so we spent the
early afternoon marveling at the changes in my body. She was sitting on the
edge of the bed, watching me, and I was posing naked in front of our bedroom
mirror.

It wasn't really a huge change, but it seemed huge to me. I'd never been prone
to examining my naked body—preferring to remain wishfully optimistic—but I
noticed a remarkable improvement. It was only little things, but it all added
up. My legs had never been particularly long—even with so much venom in my
system—but they seemed almost freakish now, visibly longer than my torso and
perfectly shaped. Dual pillars of pale sexiness. They were mesmerizing, and
quite frankly, I felt like going down on myself.

My ass was another huge improvement, or maybe I'd just never really seen it
properly. When I was fully human it had been mostly flat and plain, and then I
got a little venom in my blood stream and it had gained a little shape. Now, it
was simply amazing. I turned it to the mirror slightly and smiled over my bare
shoulder. My hips appeared to have widened just a little, adding to the general
curve of my figure, and my buttocks had gained a luscious fullness that
reminded me of Victoria.

And then there was my tits. I'd always been proud of them, but today I was
simply ecstatic. I was going to have to go bra shopping soon, because they were
at least a size larger. I looked at them in the mirror and then look down at
the actual things. Then I grabbed them and hefted them a bit, simply amazed.
They felt so huge and heavy – Alice was one lucky bitch.

Alice giggled, evidently sharing my opinion. "It's amazing, isn't it?
Carlisle's done research on the transformation, but there's no biological
rationale to it. He theorizes the infection somehow rearranges a person's
molecules into the best possible pattern, thus allowing their full beauty to
emerge. Me? I just think demons are supposed to be sexy."

The word demon made me light up. "I'm a demon," I said to my sexy reflection,
unexpectedly cool with that. I had known that I probably wouldn't struggle with
it, but it was still somewhat of a relief to realize that I really did think it
was awesome.

"It's nothing to joke about, Bella," Alice said, her voice slightly chiding. It
struck me as slightly hypocritical, since she'd been joking about her demonic
nature ever since I first met her, but I turned around and gave her my
attention. She was smiling, but she was serious as she went on. "Vampires are
evil by nature," she said, "so from now on, you're really going to have to be
careful. Especially as a newborn. The thirst is going to mess with your head
and make you want to do things. Bad things."

I understood all that because I'd experienced it this morning. Feasting on my
girlfriend's flesh wasn't behavior I had been prone to as a human. And even
before last night, my budding vampire instincts had caused me to do things I
wouldn't normally do, like burn Alice with candles and make her scream. But
even so, I felt evil was a strong word.

"Are vampire's really evil, Alice?" I asked. "Can't we just be a little
naughty?"

She giggled, but she was still serious. "Baby, in six hundred years I've never
met a pretty girl I didn't want to kill," she said. "I never did it, of course,
but I think even the desire rules out any association with goodness, don't
you?"

I wasn't so sure. Even back in school I was no stranger to the impulse of
murdering pretty girls – especially the ones that teased me. Isn't that just
natural? Who knows. Maybe these thoughts themselves were simply a product of my
vampire immorality. In any case, Alice wanted me to be serious, so I nodded.

She nodded back, smiling brightly. "Good," she said. "That's the basic rule if
you want to function in society; don't kill people. The police don't like it
and it's a terrible mess to clean up. Other than that, I think you'll find it's
quite fun to be a vampire."

"I like it already," I said, turning back to the mirror. It was possibly a
little shallow to be distracted from such a subject by my own boobs, but I
couldn't help it. They were just so cute!

Alice sighed, leaning back with her palms on the bed. I could see her in the
mirror. She was weak from the blood loss and her eyes were lidded as she took a
moment to admire my ass. But when she spoke she was still talking about
vampire-ethics.

"Like Esme, you'll still be relatively human for a while," she said. "You'll
have human habits and principles. But even those will be mostly intellectual.
From now on, you're guiding impulse will be lust."

She said this with a touch of regret, as if once more lamenting the damage done
to my soul. But I only smiled. Post-puberty, lust had always been the emotion I
was most comfortable with, vampire or not. Sometimes I think she forgot that
she didn't exactly turn me nympho – I was nympho all on my own.

And besides, look how hot I was. If such a body came with the price tag of an
insatiable lust for blood and pussy, I was pretty sure I could handle it. I
grinned in the mirror, tilting my hip and cocking one leg. "I just can't get
over how hot I am," I said, practically ignoring her. "Even my skin, it's so
beautiful. I almost wish I could fuck myself."

Alice giggled, deciding to let go of the morality lesson for now. "You were
always sexy to me, baby," she said. "Even when you wore that ratty ponytail."

I turned to her with a smile as an unexpected wave of love washed over me. It
was true; she did always love me. Much of that was my scent and the lust for my
blood, but hey; attraction is attraction. It has to start somewhere.

And this is what it had led to. We'd had out ups and downs, and things were far
from perfect, but with Alice I'd experienced a height of passion that I never
knew existed. No matter what happened after this or where we went from here,
I'd never regret it. For better or worse, she was my soulmate.

So I smiled and approached her with the intent to show her how I felt. The
distance between the mirror and bed was only three steps, but I rolled my hips
sultrily with each one, flaunting my vampire-boldness. Her smile widened and I
stood looking down at her, naked and sexier than I'd ever been in my life.

"Thank you, Alice," I said. "For doing this to me."

I meant it very sincerely, since it really was the greatest gift anyone had
given me. Not just the boob-job, but her love itself. Her venom was now
permanently infused into the fibers of my being, and it made me glow when I
thought about how from now on I was literally going to be addicted to her for
all time. But my gratitude only seem to worry her. She was still smiling, but
with that edge of sadness, as if some part of her truly believed it was wrong
to corrupt a young girl to the point where she happily embraces an eternity of
blood-addled sluttery.

Well, when you put it that way, maybe it was a little wrong, but really – I was
looking forward to it.

But I hated to see that sadness, even if it was just a little bit. And deep
down, I suppose I did understand how she felt. I'd never be as deep and
complicated and pathologically hypocritical as Alice, but I could understand
her desire to downplay the darkness. Now more than ever – before another night
like our wedding night began to seem like a good idea.

I could tell she was still a little rattled from our slip up this morning, so
soon after the close call of our wedding night, and I wanted to make her feel
better. I had no idea how to manage this, but my vampire-confidence made it
seem like the easiest thing in the world. She had lowered her smile to my
breasts, and while my tits did enjoy the attention, I thought I would set a
better tone if I was looking into her eyes while I spoke. So I lifted her chin
and smiled.

"I'm serious, Alice," I told her. "I love you. It means everything to me that
you want to be with me forever. I know there's downfalls to being a vampire,
but I don't care. I'd do anything if it means being with you. Anything."

Tears filled her eyes and her lower lip trembled; obviously my words had hit
her right in the heart.

"But—"

I cut her off, placing my finger against her lips. "No buts, okay?" I said with
a smile. "The only butt I want is the one you're sitting on, got that?"

She gave a watery giggle. I bent and kissed her once, and then used my hand to
brush at her silky black hair, almost petting her. It was a gesture she'd used
on me a thousand times, and I was surprised at how natural it came to me.
Comforting evil and insecure girlfriends had never been my forte, but I seemed
to be doing good, so I went on.

"Listen. I've been thinking about our relationship," I said, which was, of
course, a total lie. All morning I hadn't had many thoughts more complicated
than: yum. But I pushed on, making it up as I went. "And I think you might be
right. About going back to Forks. About starting over. We can't stay there
forever, but being near mom might be a good way of keeping our relationship in
check. If we can settle at a point where she can be supportive of us, then I
think we'll have a good starting point. Because you're right. That dark stuff
is bad. It's fun while we're doing it, but we always regret it later. And we
don't need that stuff. We don't need to prove how much we love each other,
because we already know how much we love each other. Right?"

She nodded, two tears falling and sliding down her cheeks. "I just want to love
you properly, baby," she said. "That's all I want. I'm so tired of ruining
everything I touch. I just want to be happy."

Her voice broke on the last word. I wiped the tears with my thumb and kissed
the top of her head. She sniffled and tried to blink back the tears, but they
kept running, and I smiled. "I know," I whispered. "And I'm going to make you
happy, I promise. Whatever it takes, Alice. I'll be your One."

"Thank you, baby," she said, sniffing. "I love you."

I kissed her lips. "I love you too," I said. I held her face and looked at her
for a moment, my heart still aching to make her feel better. It was a strangely
erotic moment; she was wearing nothing but underwear and she was crying. She
looked up at me, waiting for me to begin making her happy, and finally I smiled
and sank slowly to my knees at her feet. She continued to watched me, her
breath beginning to hitch from excitement. I had my hands on her knees and
slowly I leaned and placed a kiss on each of them. "Now," I said. "No more
tears, okay? From now on you're only allow to be happy."

"Okay," she said, and gave another little sniff, this last one mostly for
effect. But it was cute, so I didn't call her out.

Instead, I opened her knees and placed a kiss on the front of her panties. She
giggled and wiped her face with her hands. "Do you want to feed from me again?"
she asked. "Are you hungry?"

The offer caused a dark surge in the pit of my stomach and I felt my fangs
lengthen slightly in my mouth. I had a sudden temptation to simply sink my
teeth into her, but I didn't. It was less than three hours since I had first
fed, and it was easier to resist the hunger than last time. I placed a kiss on
the soft flesh of her thigh and then I looked up with a smile. I let her see my
fangs, so she could also see my restraint. Her pale face was watching mine, and
even though she was dangerously weak from blood loss, I knew she'd let me do it
if I wanted. But I shook my head softly, my love and protectiveness
overpowering any hunger I felt.

"No," I whispered. "It's too dangerous. You're so pale."

"I'll be okay, baby," she said, and although my heart flared at the permission,
I clamped it down again.

"No," I repeated. "Just let me love you, okay?" I kissed her thigh and kissed
again near her panties and then kissed the soft cotton that covered her
entrance. "I just want to love you."

She was silent for a second until I looked up at her. She looked into my eyes
for a moment, perhaps to gauge how sincere I was in my desire to just love her,
and what she saw must've pleased her; she giggled and quickly shuffled
backwards on the bed.

"Okay," she said, "but let's do it properly. Let's start over again right now.
This will be our first official time as a vampire couple, okay? No blood, just
making love."

I had already climbed onto the bed and I was crawling between her legs,
smiling. I cupped her face and placed a kiss on her lips. "Anything you want,
Alice," I told her, and I meant it the same way I always did. Whether she
wanted to kill me or love me gently, it didn't matter. Her whims were my
desire. I kissed her again and whispered: "Anything…"

—

For two weeks I did nothing but lay in bed, have sex, and feed; it was possibly
the most amazing two weeks of my life.

Alice was very sensitive to my newborn phase, and although I felt my restraint
was much stronger than she gave me credit for, it was difficult to be
displeased with her desire to keep me constantly satisfied. Unfortunately, this
was impossible for her to achieve by herself, and soon she placed a call to
Leah and Jane, who were also quite eager to take care of me. I was waiting
naked in the bed when they arrived, sitting in the middle of the mattress like
a cat, and their jaws dropped when they saw me. Jane insisted on doing me
first, and it was only Leah's pride that kept it from degenerating into a
catfight.

The three of them took it in shifts, pleasing me around the clock, day and
night. No bathroom breaks or breaks for meals. No breaks at all. I was
beginning to get a feel for my vampire stamina. I recovered from orgasms almost
instantly, ready to beg for more. My jaw muscles also seemed to be much
stronger. I was eating pussy all day and my jaw didn't cramp at all.

And the blood. I learnt quickly how much I liked blood. Alice's most of all,
but my newborn taste wasn't as picky as my heart. There was no difference in
the actual taste, really, but only in the feeling. Strangely, it was Leah's
that I desired the least. It was still delicious, but somehow it felt odd or
vaguely wrong to bite her, to bite this big strong woman that I really liked
and respected. I felt slightly unworthy, I suppose. But that didn't stop me
from sinking my teeth into her firm womanly ass. Another thing I was learning
about being a vampire – wrongness felt good.

I noticed it again with Tanya. She was still human, although possibly not for
much longer, and she positively seethed with envy when she saw me. Yet she
pleased her mistresses by consenting to let me feed from her. Usually I'd feel
uncomfortable at the idea of sleeping with someone who clearly disliked me, but
my vampire instincts only made this dislike seem attractive. I took the blonde
in my arms and kissed her very slowly and deliberately, forcing her to like it,
and then I stuck two fingers in her and fucked her like a slut as I bit into
her skanky neck. She had a transfusion that same night and she was back in my
arms the very next day, much more cheerful.

But most of all, it was Alice I craved. We refused to let our feeding sessions
degenerate into the massacre that had occurred when I first woke up, but
nothing drove me crazy the way she drove me crazy. I had to feed quite often in
those first couple weeks, but we always made sure to have at least one private
feeding per day, usually at night, and we were careful to keep it calm and
dignified. I sampled various the veins and arteries in her body, but mostly I
loved her neck. It was really the most intimate way to feed, and I liked the
sensation of her legs wrapped around me; it made me feel like she wanted it,
which was very important.

It was just a shame that Alice and I wouldn't be able to subsist solely only on
each other. Vampires had fast powers of regeneration, but they didn't
regenerate blood. Broken bones and torn skin would magically knit back
together, but blood loss was something that could only be remedied by devouring
more blood.

Almost every night Alice had to go out and hunt. Sometimes she'd bring a date
back to the apartment and introduce me as her sister. They were all very nice
girls, albeit french and kind of slutty, considering they were willing to put
out on the first date. It was easier than I thought controlling my thirst
around humans, but maybe that was only because Alice was in the same room and
Alice would always command the bulk of my lusts. Alice didn't like sleeping
with strangers, but that had been her rule for almost six hundred years, and
she wasn't quite ready to abandon it. So she seduced them in the spare room and
afterwards offered them a glass of spiked water. Consent was important to her,
and she figured consent to eat someone's pussy was close enough to bite them as
well. The only real flaw in this reasoning was the fact that she let me bite
them too. But considering how hot I had become, I was sure none of them would
complain to harshly. In the morning they'd wake up with a headache and bite
marks in their neck, but Alice would send them off with breakfast and a peck on
the cheek, and every single one of them was more than happy to accept a fake
phone number.

I didn't mind that she had to seduce other people, but I hated when she left
the house. The addiction wasn't as strong as when I was on the cusp of
changing, when her venom was alive in my system, but it was still very lonely
to be without her, even for only a few hours. I realized that this was how the
rest of the coven craved Alice, and I almost felt guilty that we were going to
leave. But I also remembered that Alice had feelings, too, and she couldn't
change the way she felt. She loved me, and she needed to find a way to properly
express that love. Returning to Forks may not be the miracle cure we needed,
but it was a step in the right direction.

And so, two weeks after finally becoming a vampire, Alice and I were ready to
leave the coven. My thirst had long abated and Alice felt that it was time.
Tanya had arranged a private jet for us and even offered to tag along. Either
my sexual prowess had softened her attitude toward me, or she had realized that
I was no longer a human rival and just another sexy vampire. It might've been
nice to bring a snack along, but the flight was less than twenty hours, and I
always had Alice if I was feeling peckish.

The whole coven came out to the airport to say goodbye, everyone but Victoria
and Rosalie. Nobody had seen them since the announcement of our departure, and
neither had answered any calls. Jane had always had a special place in her
heart for Rosalie, her blonde idol. So she had staked out their hotel a couple
days ago and ambushed the blonde and her mistress in the lobby. She asked them
if they would at least say goodbye to me and Alice. Victoria had snorted and
said she thought we had already gone. Rosalie had been reluctant, but she
wouldn't leave her mistress's side. They hadn't even invited Jane upstairs.

I had been disturbed to hear this, mostly concerned about whether or not the
redhead might be brooding on some revenge, but Alice was mostly concerned with
Rosalie. She wrote a letter for the blonde and asked Jane to give it to her
when we were gone.

And finally it was time to go. Carlisle drove us to the airport, directly out
onto the runway where the plane was waiting. Leah and Jane were already
standing by with Tanya waiting in the background. Leah nodded at me and I
nodded back. Jane came forward to hug Alice. Tanya was looking at me, but she
looked away with a blush when I noticed. She seemed to be developing a crush on
me, the poor thing. Thin line between love and hate, it seemed.

I turned and looked up at the sky. It was a sunny day, a touch too bright for
tearful farewells, but the Cullen ladies always did have a taste for the
theatrics. Only me, Carlisle, and Leah, seemed to be able to contain our
sorrow. I guess I was officially part of the butch contingent of the coven.
Esme wrapped her arms tightly around Alice and shook her gently like a momma
bear.

"Oooh, I'm gonna miss you, honey," she said. "Call as often as you can, okay?"

Alice chuckled. "I will," she said. "I love you, Esme."

Esme released her from the embrace and began crying. Her husband handed her a
handkerchief and she dabbed her eyes. "I know, honey," she said. "I love you,
too."

She smiled at Alice but the very sight of Alice seemed to be too much for her.
She turned away, and noticed me in the process, reviving her smile as she came
forward and wrapped me into a hug. "I'm going to miss you too, Bella," she
said. "You'll take care of her for me, won't you?"

I hugged her back. "Of course," I said. "I'll make her happy, Esme, I promise."

"Thank you," Esme said, stepping back and dabbing at her eyes with the
handkerchief.

Jane was hugging Alice again, and Alice smiled at me apologetically over Jane's
shoulder, as if promising we can go soon. I nodded for her to take her time.

"See ya, Ally," Jane said. "Let us know when we can come visit, okay?"

"We will," Alice said. "We just need some time to ourselves."

Now it was Carlisle's turn. He came forward and kissed her twice on each cheek,
slightly formal yet clearly demonstrating that he was going to miss her. "We'll
be thinking of you, Alice," he said. "Take care of Bella, okay?"

"I will," Alice said, smiling at me. Then she heaved a sigh, stepped back, and
smiled at her family. For hundreds of years she had shared her life, her love,
and her body with these people. And now she was leaving, perhaps never to
return. She blinked back tears and sniffed once. "Well, I guess this is
goodbye," she said. Then she lifted a hand and waved once. "So…see ya."

"Bye, Alice," Jane said, her voice thick and full of tears. Esme was still
dabbing at her eyes with the handkerchief. Carlisle had his hands in his
pockets, eyes downcast, and Leah only smiled. She gave me a nod and finally my
own eyes filled with tears. Becoming a vampire had deadened most of my
emotions, but I was really going to miss them. Leah most of all. I returned her
nod and then I turned and followed Alice onto the plane.

Alice climbed the steps and paused in the hatchway to wave once more. They all
waved back. I wiped my eyes and looked off toward the terminal. I don't know
why I looked there, I just did. The sun was glaring off the glasswork, but
behind one of the windows I thought I saw a woman with red hair. She was
standing at the window, watching Alice and I board the plane.

I turned back to the Cullens and looked at them arranged there in the sunlight,
Esme and Jane in tears, Carlisle and Leah composed but mournful, Tanya quietly
in the background. I gave them one last wave, mentally apologizing for
destroying their family, and then I turned and followed Alice through the
hatchway.

—

***** Chapter 41 *****
—

Chapter 41:

—

It was a pleasant flight. The view got a little cloudy as the plane approached
the gloomy climate of Forks, but Alice and I kept ourselves occupied in other
ways. We had sex for a good portion of the first half of the flight in our
private cabin, and afterwards we managed to pass a few fun-filled hours by
drugging and molesting one of the stewardesses—pardon me, 'flight attendants.'
Becoming a vampire had made me slightly less reserved about fetishizing my
fellow females. It was difficult to respect a woman when you couldn't see past
her tits, I was learning. Unholy lust and all. Alice was reluctant to break her
rule about feeding from a girl before seducing her, but it was somewhat of an
emergency; she was very pale and I was still very thirsty.

Still, we were very gentle, and when the lady in question woke up just as we
touched down in Seattle—fully clothed and relatively intact apart from a pair
of bite marks—she seemed willing to accept the explanation that she'd simply
fallen asleep while sharing a drink with some friendly passengers. The poor
woman had been on her feet all day, after all. If she noticed any odd
sensations between her legs, she kept it to herself.

Alice had arranged short-term finances with Carlisle before we left Paris, so
we splurged a little on a rental car, opting for a lovely forest-green
Mercedes. It was Saturday afternoon when we drove into town, and a weird
feeling of nostalgia rolled over me as I took in the familiar buildings, the
cheap stores, the wet sidewalks, trash in the gutters. Alice and I had gone
quiet, since there didn't seem to be very much to talk about. For my part I
felt strangely disaffected by the whole experience. I wasn't thrilled to be
here, but I wasn't dreading it either. I didn't care where I was, as long as I
was with Alice. Alice seemed to be more affected than I was. She kept glancing
at me anxiously as she drove, as if wondering if I was finally beginning to
resent her for everything she'd done to me, as if being back in my hometown
might somehow recall me of everything I had sacrificed in order to be her
girlfriend. But what really had I given up? Nothing important, according to my
vampire-brain. A loving mother and a healthy girlfriend seemed like a small
price to pay for the privilege of squeezing Alice's ass every night.

I would've loved to set her at ease by telling her all this, but I didn't think
she'd appreciate the flippancy. She seemed to be taking her role of reformed
girlfriend very seriously. Honestly, I was more curious about how genuine any
of her anxiety really was. Alice had told me I'd still feel like a human for a
while, but I really didn't. I felt how she'd always described herself, a
creature of lust. There was really nothing I felt like doing that didn't
involve blood or sex, but that wasn't necessarily a huge change from my regular
behavior. Meanwhile, Alice appeared to be becoming even more human, as if to
compensate. Was the pretense really that fun for her? Or was there a point were
the pretence becomes real? Either way, she was serious about improving our
relationship, which was a smart idea. After all, we couldn't live happily ever
after if we killed each other some night. We had a long way to go, of course,
but I knew we'd make it. We'd come too far to fail now.

The motel we came to was the same motel we stayed at after that first time I'd
cheated with Victoria, and while Alice paid for the room, I gazed around the
dusty lobby, indulging the memory with a certain melancholy. It was the first
problem we'd ever had, partly caused by weakness, possession, and Alice's love
of drama. Why did she feel compelled to rub me in her family's faces like that?
In many ways, Alice had been quite cruel to her family. Abandoning them
overnight, jumping at the first girl who was yummy and slutty enough to meet
her expectations as a soulmate. I remembered how Alice had explained Rosalie's
jealousy. She had said that the blonde was simply a spiteful and unreasonable
person; when the reality was that it was Alice who was spiteful and
unreasonable. How many lies and false promises and petty theatrics had our
relationship survived already? And how many more will we have to overcome?

But I couldn't be mad at Alice. It was a shame the whole coven-life hadn't
worked out, but after six hundred years, relationships were bound to get
complicated. Alice had a mistress, a wife, a mother, a sister, a father, a
million different girlfriends in between. All of them with their own demands of
each other. Alice's heart had been full when she met the girl she deemed her
soulmate, and so she did the only think she could do; she emptied it out, and
filled it back to the brim with nothing but me. Ever since that night she
climbed through my window, she'd been doing her best to drive away the coven
while some part of her remained clinging. Now she had finally broken free and
returned with me to Forks.

But did she really want me to patch things up with my mother?

Or did she simply want me to ruin things properly the way she did with her own
family?

I didn't know. Alice was a mystery even to herself, but one thing was for sure;
her ass looked mighty hot in her jeans as she stood at the front desk, and
beyond all these gloomy reflections, I was just really eager to get her alone
in the room.

The room wasn't romantic; dusty carpet, a closet, plain double bed. But it
didn't take much to get me in the mood these days, and I was all over her as
soon as the door was closed. Alice fumbled for the light switch, her giggles
muffled by my tongue in her mouth. Vampires could see in the dark, and there
was still a bit of dull grey light behind the blinds, but I liked the
brightness as well. We were supposed to be creatures of the night, but when
your girlfriend has a body like Alice's, it's really just common sense to get
it in as good light as possible.

So I used my new vampire strength to rip open her jeans, the button popping off
like a bullet and the zip tearing like paper. My metamorphosis had triggered a
latent dominant streak, much to Alice's delight. It wasn't quite normal
behavior to rip apart perfectly good clothes, but speaking for myself, I didn't
want to get too carried away with the normalcy. I'd be happy if we could simply
reach a point that didn't involve death and mutilation.

I ripped off her top as well, and then her bra. The sweet snap of lycra made a
thrill pass through me and the way her breasts bounced free made my dark heart
flicker with dark ideas. Her nipples were already hard, of course. Such a slut,
my Alice. I had wrapped her into another kiss, and she was trying push down her
jeans, but the poor thing didn't seem to realize that her sneakers were in the
way. I threw her onto the bed, where she bounced with her legs open, and pulled
off her shoes and her jeans, leaving her socks on. Then I started taking off my
own clothes, letting her watch.

"Mmm," she moaned, letting her hand travel into her panties to tease her clit,
her eyes roaming my body. "You're so sexy, baby."

I felt a flush of pride and pulled off my top, revealing my breasts. The
novelty of my vampire-body probably wasn't going to wear off soon, and I was
looking forward to being the sexier one for a while. So I gave her a little
show, kicking off my shoes in a sultry manner as I unbuttoned my jeans. I
turned slightly and bent at the hip to lower them, sliding them all the way
down my legs. Alice grinned and now she was pinching one of her nipples.

"Get the strapon, baby."

My heart leapt. When my darling wanted the strap-on, that usually meant my
darling wanted it rough. We rarely used the strap-on for more tender
activities, and the request was music to my ears. My ravenous newborn phase was
behind me but I still had a lot of pent up sexual aggression, and when I saw
Alice laying in the middle of the bed like that with a hand in her pink panties
and her white socks rumpled cutely at her ankles, well. The bitch just needed
to be fucked.

So I fetched out the strapon from our bags and put it on, my fingers fumbling
slightly with the lust that was pulsing through my body. I didn't speak,
because I really couldn't think of anything to say. My mind was a tad frantic.

I climbed onto the bed with the black shaft pointing at her rigidly from my
pale pelvis, and she took her hand from her panties and lifted it to my mouth.
I licked the arousal from her fingers, feeling a spike of lust of my own. I was
pulling away her panties and she lifted her hips off the bed so that I could
get them off. I tossed them over the side of the bed and she let her legs fall
open, smiling with her naked chest rising and falling in excitement.

"Go ahead, baby," she said. "Be rough." She winked and squirmed her hips
suggestively. "You know how I love it rough."

Oh yes, I knew. I knew how my baby liked it rough – almost as much as I did.
And so, without further ado, I angled the strapon into her pussy and shoved it
right in.

She groaned and tossed her head, a breathless smile sweeping over her face. She
was moist, but not quite ready. But for a girl like Alice the pain itself was a
turn on, so I shoved it in deeper, swooping down to her mouth roughly. She
moaned and wrapped both her arms and legs around me, taking it like a good
little Alice. I kissed inside her mouth with my tongue, moving my hips only
slightly in order to poke the strapon into each corner of her horny vagina, and
when her pussy was nice and wet, I pinned down her wrists either side of her
head and began thrusting – hard.

As a human, my strapon work had been more on the soft side, but as a vampire I
found that I had the hip-power to really fuck her properly. So I did, making
her groan with each thrust, making her boobs jump on her chest. A fierce blush
was in her cheeks, and she was getting close – impressive since I hadn't even
touched her clit. But then again, Alice had a very sensitive body, and the poor
girl could possibly come from riding a bicycle down a bumpy road.

She had her heels planted in the mattress and she was bucking her hips in
rhythm, her eyes closed and her head tilted back. "Ugh," she groaned, the
orgasm building in her face. "Oh god. Oh god, keep going! Keep going, baby. Oh
god, oh, oh, oh, ohhhHHH—!"

She came with a cute little squeal, and I watched the orgasm pass over her
pretty face, mesmerized by how beautiful it was. Her eyelids shut, her lips
open, her face flushed and averted. Her chest was heaving and a smile formed on
her face as the climax washed away. When she opened her eyes, I still had the
strapon inside her.

"Mmm," she moaned, wrapping her arms around me. "That was amazing. Thank you,
baby."

She was gently trying to pulling me down into a kiss, but I didn't move. I was
staring at her neck, at the soft skin, at the rapid pulse of her blood. My own
chest was heaving as well, but I couldn't hear my own breathing. All I could
hear was the bloodbeat of the artery in Alice's neck.

"Go ahead, baby," Alice whispered, smiling at the lust in my eyes. "It's okay."

I could feel my fangs poking my tongue and I had to gulp down the venom that
pooled in my mouth. But I shook my head softly, and a sudden pain crushed my
skull like a migraine as I realized I was going to resist. I didn't want to
resist, I really didn't, but—

"No," I said.

She seemed surprised. The horny half of her was disappointed, but the other
half…was happy? "No?"

I shook my head again and climbed off her, sitting up on the bed, trembling
slightly from how hard it was to restrain myself from grabbing her and biting
her and lapping the blood as it leaked across the pale surface of her—

"It's too soon," I said. "I only just bit you on the plane, remember?"

Alice sat up beside me. She put her arms around me, and until she did I hadn't
realized I'd gone cold. "Are you sure, baby?" she asked, her own struggle for
restraint in her voice. "I'll be okay. And you're still a newborn."

I shook my head and gulped down more venom. "No," I said, and pressed my hand
to my forehead. It almost felt like that the withdrawal I used to have when I
went without Alice's venom.

Alice could see me fighting it and wrapped her arms around me tighter. "I'm
sorry, baby," she said, laying her head on my shoulder. "I know how you feel. I
know how badly you want to. I know I shouldn't offer, but I just want to make
you happy. It means everything to me to make you happy."

I gave her a shaky chuckle to set her at ease. "I know, but this'll be good
practice," I said. "I'll never learnt to control myself if you let me do it
whenever I want. So…"

"You're right," she said, and looked into my face. She smiled and brushed at my
hair with her hand. "I'm so sorry, baby. It must be even harder to resist when
I offer."

It really was kind of cruel of her to force me to be the noble one, but I guess
it was inevitable. Alice had always had a habit of doing the wrong things, she
couldn't help it. It was one of the things I loved about her, that romantic
recklessness that made her such a loveable little slut. But it was time for me
to start using my head and making my own decisions – to be Alice's partner.

So I nodded and smiled, already feeling part of the lust wash away in the tide
of my good intentions. "I just want to be a good girlfriend for you, Alice."

Alice's smile brightened, still stroking my hair. "That's exactly how I felt
when I first met you," she said. "Not as easy as it seems, is it?"

"No," I chuckled.

She looked into my eyes and then she kissed my lips, pressing her naked chest
into mine for a moment. "Thank you, baby," she said. "Relationships take work,
and it means a lot that you're willing to work for it. I love you."

I cupped her smooth cheek and placed a kiss of my own on her lips. "I love you
too."

"Good," she giggled, and then she lowered her hands to my lap and began to take
off the strapon. "Come on, let's get rid of this silly thing and use our
mouths. Pussy is the next best thing to blood, trust me."

She tossed the strapon to the carpet where it landed with a dull thump. She
leaned into my arms, kissing me, and I laid her down on the pillow, straddling
her hips and caressing her soft neck.

—

We made love all through the night and into the morning, taking breaks only to
shower or cuddle. While we cuddled we whispered together about my reunion with
mom, but I didn't have much to say. Alice said it would be best for me to go
alone, at least at first, and while I really didn't want to go anywhere without
Alice, I knew she was right. Showing up on the front doorstep with my
emotionally destructive girlfriend—err, wife—was probably not the best way to
begin rebuilding a healthy mother-daughter relationship. Actually, it was
optimistic that Alice didn't want to go. I'd been half-worried that maybe Alice
only wanted to return to Forks for the drama, but if she was willing to let me
go alone, maybe she really did want me to patch things up.

So after the sun finally came up behind the motel blinds, I went for one last
shower—with Alice, of course—and sorted out an outfit from our bags. We hadn't
brought many clothes with us, so in hindsight maybe I shouldn't have been so
reckless with Alice's jeans last night. They were the only pair of jeans she
had, and skirts would look odd in the coldness of Forks, no matter how cute. I
wasn't crying about the broken bra, though. She had a spare, but even if she
didn't, going braless would only make her more touchable.

As for my own outfit on this important day, I had no idea. Mom was going to be
shocked to see me without a pimple on my face—not to mention my vampiric breast
enlargement—so something modest was probably in order. On the other hand, I'd
be seeing Lauren as well if she was still living at my place, so perhaps
something a little revealing? It was probably my evilness acting up, but I felt
a faint urge to flaunt myself a little, to show my heartbroken ex that I was
hot and happy and with someone else. It was very unjust, but I couldn't help
it. It was strange to feel this way, even to me. Impulses like these were
usually reserved for ex-girlfriends who dump you and make you feel bad, but
Lauren had been almost perfect. She didn't put out as much as I would've liked,
but I had no real injuries to resent. Then again, she was also the same girl
who teased and taunted me like a homophobic whore for the majority of my life,
so perhaps a little latent-resentment was perfectly natural.

And beyond all this, I'd always be a vain and inappropriate young girl, so in
the end, I gave in to the evilness and wore a black skirt with a black thong
underneath, coupled with a black top that had skulls on it and a black leather
jacket. For footwear, I chose knee-high black boots that had a modest heel and
studs up the side, and I completed the outfit with black leather bangles, iron
hoops in my ears, and too much eye makeup. My top bared my midriff and quite a
bit of cleavage, and the skirt was a tight mini that showed off the shape of my
ass very well. Alice was too sweet to hint I looked a little ostentatious and I
was bold enough not to care. What's the point of being a vampire if you don't
dress like a gothic slut?

Before I left, Alice suggested that maybe I should feed from her, just to make
sure I wouldn't be tempted to slip with mom or Lauren. But I was pretty sure I
could control myself. Even with Leah and Jane, I'd never felt anything so
overwhelming as what I felt for Alice, and I certainly didn't plan to go
lusting for my mom. As for Lauren, she was always a volatile girl; I doubted
she'd even let me get close enough to slip.

So I gave Alice and extra long hug and kissed her neck longingly. The long
night of sex had reduced the hunger to more of a dull ache than a sharp
stabbing thirst, and it was easier to resist her. For now. But tonight…

"Are you sure you want me to go alone?" I asked, just to delay.

Alice nodded and released the embrace. She was kneeling on the bed where she
had been watching me get dressed, and she was wearing nothing but a towel. "I
think it's best for now," she said. "Your mom will be happy to see you, and I
don't want to ruin that. We have to do this properly, right baby?"

I nodded grumpily, wishing I could tear the towel off her and eat the girl
alive. "I suppose," I said. "What are you going to do all day?"

She smiled. I was standing right in front of her and she arranged my jacket a
little better, admiring my cleavage as she did. "Oh, I don't know," she said.
"Gaze longingly at the phone and wait for you to call. Or maybe I'll just
snuggle up with a vibrator and think about you. Hm? What do you think I should
do?"

She held the lapels of my jacket and smiled up at me. I smiled back and cupped
her cheek.

"I could stay if you want me to," I said.

She raised up and kissed my lips. But then she subsided again and giggled.
"Stop being such a vampire, baby," she said. "Remember when we first met? I
went a whole week without touching you after the first time. A whole week! I
think you can manage a few hours, don't you?"

I pouted. "I guess."

"Besides, aren't you excited to see your mom?"

"Not really," I said, and sighed. I caressed her face and gazed into her pretty
eyes. "All I want is…"

I saw the desire swirling in her honey-colored orbs, but there was something
else too, and it took me a moment to realize what it was; sadness.

"I know," she said, trying to hide it. She gave a guilty smirk. "I told you the
thirst would mess with your mind, didn't I?"

My heart gave a strange pang and I shook my head. "It doesn't feel messed
with," I said, caressing her cheek with the backs of my knuckles. "It feels
clearer than ever."

She leaned slightly to the touch, happy but not without an air of melancholy.
"Mmm," she murmured. "Maybe that's the worst thing. It's a very seductive
curse."

She lifted her eyes to mine as she said it, and as much as she wanted to
indulge of her feelings of guilt and repentant sorrow, she simply couldn't hide
the fact that deep down she was a slut who really just wanted to get fucked. I
could see it in the submissive flick of her eyes as she lifted them to mine,
and it was too much to resist; I needed her one most time before I left.

So I pushed her back onto the bed and forced open her knees. She giggled in
surprise and her legs opened easily enough, the towel instantly riding up over
her hips. Her pussy was just slightly moist, and I thought my girlfriend might
have an issue or two if fake-guilt turned her on. We would have to try some
role-play in our relationship at some point. We didn't have time now, however,
so I simply lowered my face and began licking her silky lips.

"But that's okay," she said, moaning and stretching out on the bed. "You'll be
okay as soon as you get home. You're just confused because I'm right in front
of you. You'll be okay when you see your mom again. You'll remember how much
you love her."

I probably would, but in all honesty, I think I'd prefer to never leave the
motel room.

Alas, the reunion was inevitable, and after bringing Alice to a swift climax, I
kissed her goodbye, hugged her, inhaled her scent, kissed her again, and
finally left. I paused at the door to blow her a kiss, missing her already. She
gave me a smirk as she blew the kiss back, but the last thing I saw in her eyes
as I closed the door was a return of the guilt, a subtle sadness that seem to
confuse even the heart that spawned it.

I left the car at the motel and walked, since it was still a little early and I
didn't have a license anymore. It was also a beautiful day by Forks standards,
but this didn't do much to buoy my spirits. The streets were wet from the rain
last night, but there were bright sunrays poking through the clouds and no
wind. The sun made me squint slightly, and I actually got a little nervous. I
wondered if I might burn up and combust like a vampire in a movie, but I'd been
assured many times by Alice and the rest of the Cullen's that sunlight doesn't
affect vampires. I suppose I was only squinting because I'd had my face buried
between Alice's thighs for the last three months and the brightness was a tad
startling.

Halfway there, I was beginning to regret my outfit, and it amazed me for a
moment that I had chosen to wear such a thing to greet my mother after six
months of traumatic absence. It was an outfit calculated for attention and
reaction, and those were two things I generally hated. I wish I could've
remembered that when I was getting dressed. Unfortunately I had slipped on my
thong and heeled boots with no more than a giddy urge to be 'pretty.' Now cars
were actually slowing in the street to check me out. Male drivers, of course.
Perverts. One of them had the audacity to honk a horn at me, and for a moment I
seriously considered running the car down, ripping him out the window, and
tearing his head off. It was an impulse I'm sure most attractive women were
familiar with, but I actually had the strength and lack of conscience to do it.
Unfortunately, however, there were witnesses, and on second thought I really
didn't want to lay hands on someone like that, so I simply ignored it and went
on.

Finally I came to my old neighborhood. Old houses lining each side of the
street, dead lawns, paint peeling from the clapboards. Gutters festooned with
wet junkmail and the sidewalks littered with cigarette butts. The clouds had
closed over the sun and I had to smile. Home sweet home. A child on a tricycle
pedaled in circles within one of the yards, a young girl with pigtails and a
flowered dress. I smiled and nodded her a friendly good morning. She waved back
with a dolly in her hand, and the little thing was so cute I almost jumped the
fence and ripped into her fragile neck with my teeth. It was only blood lust,
though; I'm not a pedophile.

At last I came to my old house. The flower bushes hadn't improved, almost as if
mom had stopped caring for them altogether. That would be sad. I'd hate it if
my abandonment had caused her to circumvent her attempts at botany. Then again,
perhaps the flowers were better off out of their misery. They could never
thrive in a climate like this, and mom always did suck as a gardener.

I began to feel awkward as I clicked along the brick path toward the front
door, the first time I'd felt real anxiety as a vampire. After all, what am I
supposed to say? I had no idea. I couldn't even predict how she'd react. I had
my money on tearful joy, but it was possible that my treatment of her had
finally crossed a line and she was ready to disown me. It would save a lot of
time if she did, but the thought made me uncomfortable. Alice was right; I was
already beginning to remember that I loved mom. I loved her and I wanted her to
be happy, so all I had to do was pretend everything was good and let her know I
was okay.

I knocked on the door. I wonder what Alice was doing now? Had she been serious
about snuggling down with a vibrator? Can't wait till I get back, I'm gonna—

The door opened.

It was mom.

I had obviously interrupted her house cleaning; her bushy brown hair was pinned
up with a claw-clip on top of her head and she was wearing socks, sweats, and a
plain white tee. I felt a surge of affection at the sight of her and I smiled.

My mom.

When she had first opened the door, she seemed slightly annoyed at having her
chores interrupted. But then she saw who it was. Her whole face went pale and
her mouth fell open. Her eyes filled with instant tears and her voice came out
in a squeak.

"Bella?"

"Hey, mom."

The sound of my voice caused her to tremble. She blinked to clear her vision,
her whole face wavering as if it all might collapse any moment, and then she
lurched forward and wrapped me into a fierce hug.

"Bella," she cried, breaking down into sobs. "Oh, sweetie! Oh my god! I thought
I lost you. I thought, I thought…"

She trailed off into sobs, but mom's thoughts had never been very articulate,
so I just patted her on the back and laid my head on her shoulder. She smelt
like furniture polish and shampoo, and suddenly I had a very strong craving.
Her neck was right there, less than two inches from my mouth, with all the hot
lovely blood flowing just underneath her skin. It would've been so easy to lean
a little closer and just—

But I didn't. I swallowed the pooled venom in my mouth and pushed away the red
fog in my mind. Luckily, mom was too preoccupied with sobbing to notice my
silence. I should've been overflowing with joy at this point, reunited with my
mother at last, but all I could think about was blood. She said that she
thought she had lost me, but in many ways, she did lose me. Bella Swan died in
her lover's arms in Paris. This creature she was embracing was only a sexy
mockup of her daughter.

Still, I could pretend. I would never have Alice's flair for it, but it
shouldn't be too difficult to act like I was hugging her so tight for
sentimental reasons and not because I was fighting the urge to sink my teeth
into her neck. So I swallowed again and patted her back, listening to her sobs.

"Hi, mom," I said, just to keep the script moving.

"Oh god, sweetie," she said, finally releasing me. Her face was wet with tears
and she started wiping her eyes with her fingers. "Is it you? Is it really
you?"

I smiled and nodded. "It's me."

She looked at me for a moment with her wet eyes, finally registering how
different I looked. But the shock only lasted a second before the joy came
back. Her lip trembled and suddenly she lurched forward once more, sobbing into
my shoulder.

"Oh Bella," she whimpered, hugging me even tighter. "Oh Bella."

I patted her back. She was going to ruin my suede jacket if she kept crying
like that, but I didn't mention it.

Eventually we went inside, and none too soon; wouldn't want the neighbors to
talk. The inside of the house was much the same as I remembered it. A vacuum
cleaner stood beside the sofa and my L Word boxset was still on the DVD shelf.
Mom had never liked me watching that show because it might 'put ideas in my
head.' Ah, mom. She had really tried hard to raise me right. Not the wisest
woman in the world, but so sweet. I wonder what went wrong? Oh yeah, I
remember; I met a vampire and became a slut. A mother's love can't compete with
an ass like Alice's, sadly.

Mom led me into the kitchen where the sight of the stove and the fridge did
manage to pluck at my heartstrings. So many fond memories and meals cooked
right here in my old home.

Still sniffling and wiping at her eyes, mom got two cups out the cupboard and
put the coffee maker on, as if I was some kind of guest. I didn't know what to
do, so I sat at the kitchen table. I let my eyes drift over the fridge magnets
and one of them made me smile. I bought it for two dollars and gave it to her
on Mother's Day. It said: "World's Greatest Mom." Feeling a glow in my heart, I
turned my eyes to mom as she fiddled with the coffee maker. But the glow turned
slightly darker as my eyes flickered over her back and over her ass. She had a
nice body for her age, but still, I was somewhat alarmed to realize I was
checking her out. Checking out…

…my mom.

Even as a vampire, it struck me as highly improper. I suppose my inner demon
wasn't aware that those round child-bearing hips had once beared me. Mom had
always exercised frequently and she looked very good for her age, but really.
Incest isn't my thing, and thankfully, I managed not to pounce on her.

"Lauren's upstairs," mom said, turning to me with a sniff, dabbing at her eye
with a knuckle. "In your old room. She had a huge fight with her mother and
she's been staying here." She sniffed again and tried to smile. "Ever since you
called her last month I've been hoping and praying… You told her to say
goodbye, and I thought… I thought…"

But she couldn't continue. She started crying into her hands, and I wondered
what I should do. Should I get up and hug her, maybe guide her to a chair? That
felt like the right thing to do, but I couldn't do it. I was finally feeling a
little guilty, as if I didn't deserve to touch her, so I just sat there in
shame at the kitchen table.

"I'm sorry, mom," I said.

Mom blew her nose with paper towel and tossed it out. "What happened to you,
sweetie?" she said, approaching the table, but cautiously, as if afraid of
scaring me away. "Where have you been? Where did those girls take you?"

Alice and I had prepared a mild lie in advance, but looking at mom's tear
stained face, I found myself being honest. "I was in Paris," I said.

This seemed to surprise her. "Paris?"

"Yeah," I said reluctantly, as if admitting I'd been skipping school. "In
France."

She sniffed. She probably knew which country Paris was in, but my conversation
skills had always been crap under pressure. In fact, they were crap all the
time. She stood in silence for a moment, her expression finally clearing into
disapproval, but then the coffee machine was done. Mom poured the mugs and
bought them back to the table. She placed one in front of me and stood there
holding the other. Then she placed that one down on the table as well and
folded her arms under her breasts. She didn't sit down.

"Lauren said you were with that girl," she said.

I felt a flicker of anger at the way she referred to Alice. Alice was the queen
of my universe and I didn't want her referred to as 'that girl.'

"Alice, mom," I said, gently but firmly. "Her name's Alice."

Mom started crying again. She tried to hold it back, but the mention of Alice's
name seemed to be a particular distress to her. I guess I should've known
better. Alice had completed my own life but she had kind of ruined mom's.

"She was threatening to kill herself," I tried to explain. "She would've died
if I didn't go."

"Oh god," mom said, as if such drama was too terrible for comment.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I wanted to say goodbye, but…"

Mom sniffed and regained her composure. "Where is she now?"

I looked at the mug on the table. It was steaming gently. I hadn't touched it.
As a newborn my desire for human things was nil. I tried to think back on the
lies Alice and I had worked out, but in the end, the truth seemed simpler.

"She's at a motel," I said. "She knew you wouldn't want to see her."

Mom tried not to cry again. Again it didn't work. She put a hand to her eyes
and turned away with a sob. I allowed her a moment to grieve over the news that
Alice was in town and still my girlfriend, and while I was waiting I
accidentally checked out her boobs. Mine were bigger, but now wasn't the time
to gloat.

"She's changed mom," I said, and even though it was flimsy, it was true. "We
both have." This was true too, but my own changes weren't exactly for the
better – unless you counted the extra pertness in my figure, which I certainly
did.

Mom looked at me. She had forced herself to stop crying, but I had no idea what
she was thinking. She was obviously happy that I was alive and unharmed, but it
couldn't be easy, not after everything I'd done to her. So I made my face as
artless as possible and went on as remorsefully.

"I know I've been a terrible daughter," I said. "But you have to understand
what it was like. We couldn't control ourselves. The way we felt about each
other, it was…it was crazy."

Mom didn't answer. She wiped her eyes, but she hadn't started crying again. I
got up from the table, going on with more confidence.

"But it's different now," I said. "We grew up. We know what we did was wrong,
and we're going to do it better. That's why we came back. To start over again.
Alice has some money from her family, so we'll be okay for a while. We were
gonna finish school, or at least get our GEDs. Then we'll get jobs and save up
for college. Everything's gonna be okay from now on, mom. Me and Alice…"

But she cut me off with a silent shake of her head. I could tell she didn't
believe any of it and was too tired to even try. I'd disappointed her too many
times for her to have faith in me now. But she was still happy to have me back,
and she seemed determined to focus on that and ignore everything else. She came
forward and wrapped me into a hug, bad daughter or not.

"That's not important now, sweetie," she said. "I'm just glad you're home. I
missed you so much."

Her voice broke on the last word and she started crying, her whole body
quivering against me, her front all nice and warm. I hugged her tightly and
tried not to get turned on– or bite her in the throat. I was happy to see her
as well, of course, but it might've been an excessive display of affection to
rape and murder one's own mother on the kitchen floor.

"Me too," I said in a thick voice.

She released me abruptly and grabbed my shoulders, looking into my face
fiercely. "Promise you'll never leave me again, okay?" she demanded. "You
promise me, right now. No matter what happens, you stay here and I'll help you
through it. Promise me."

She was being very silly—after all, even if I hadn't gone to Paris I would've
left her for college anyway—but she was very serious as well, so I nodded. "I
promise," I said, even though it was already broken. As a vampire it would be
was impossible to maintain any relationship beyond five or ten years.
Eventually she'd wonder why I wasn't aging.

But the promise satisfied her, and with a smile, she pulled me back into
another tight hug. "I love you, sweetie."

I closed my eyes and inhaled her scent. I wasn't in danger of hurting her, but
even the temptation itself felt good. "I love you too, mom," I said.

She squeezed me for a few seconds and let go. She wiped her face one last time
and suddenly smiled, as if only now committing herself to a happy reaction.
"Well, you better go see Lauren," she said. "She's been so broken up since you
left."

"Okay," I said, backing toward the living room. "And thanks, mom."

"For what, sweetie?"

I shrugged and smiled. "For being mom."

She paused at this and her smile became more genuine. The sun had come out
again and there was a glow in the kitchen window behind her. I smiled back for
a moment, and I began to understand Alice's occasional sorrows a little better.
It wasn't real sorrow or real guilt. It was simply an awareness of guilt, an
echo. It hovered about your heart like a ghost, but it never quite touched you.
But it felt nice, so like Alice, I indulged it for a second—for my sake as well
as mom's—and then I turned and went up the stairs.

Now came the tricky part.

Lauren was something I hadn't been prepared for, beyond the petty desire to
show off my ass to a girl who used to be attracted to me. With mom the scene
had been simple. I'd known she would be happy to see me, and all I had to do
was let her be happy while appearing to be suitable abashed. But Lauren?

I had no idea how Lauren was going to react when she saw me. I doubt she had
remained in love with me these last six months, and even if she did she wasn't
likely to run weeping into my arms and thank me for coming back. She was more
likely to pretend she hated me. For that matter, maybe she did hate me. I'd
promised her I'd never leave her, and what did I do? I left her. To be fair to
myself, I was actually abducted, but I also couldn't deny that I'd gotten
married and had mad amounts of sex since parting ways. I couldn't really claim
to be a victim, but I wasn't an evil bitch either – well, I hadn't been when I
left Forks.

In any case, my anxiety was at an all-time low as a vampire, so I didn't
hesitate or dawdle in the corridor. My bedroom door was closed, and I had to
smile; Lauren had gone emo. I reached for the doorknob, but then I paused.
Lacking anxiety, what I felt most was curiosity about Lauren's reaction, and I
had to wonder – is how Alice always felt? It was a strange thought.
Technically, we didn't even have to be here, Alice and I could've gone
anywhere. And yet we had come here, to the one place in the world where there
were two people who would likely have extreme reactions to our presence. Alice
claimed that it was a first step toward repairing our relationship—and it
was—but it was going to be dramatic as well. There was going to be a lot of
forgiveness and joy and hurt feelings flying around. Was that what really led
Alice here? To see how they'd react? Lacking any kind of fear or conscience,
Alice had always been a curious girl – like how she had tied me up and stabbed
my stomach, watching my face simply to see how I'd take it. Was this detour to
Forks really just another way of entertaining her immortal little self?

Maybe it was, in part. But then I remembered how made she me come here alone,
determined to make my reunion with mom as pleasant and pain-free as possible.
The fact that she let me go alone was proof that repairing our relationship was
part of her motive as well. But it didn't matter, anyway. Because I was a
vampire too, and I was curious as well, very curious. Will Lauren hate me? Will
Lauren forgive me? I was about to find out.

I opened the door and went in.

My room had been redecorated somewhat. Lauren had mentioned when I called her
the last time that she'd been working, and obviously she'd used some of that
money to buy a nice-looking flatscreen that she'd arranged on my dresser. She
had also purchased a variety of posters that now covered the walls, most of
various rockbands. She was lounging on the bed, leaning back against the wall,
and she had an xbox controller in her hands. There was a hint of cigarette
smoke in the air and an ashtray on my bedside table. Apparently she was still
under the assumption that stereotypes are real and all lesbians must smoke,
drink, and feature multiple piercings. She had her legs crossed underneath her
and her boots were sprawled haphazardly on the floor.

She glanced up as the door opened and her mouth fell open, outright stunned at
my sudden reappearance in her life and my sexy black clothes. She wasn't so bad
herself. There were violet streaks in her blonde hair and even without makeup
she was cute, especially with her blue eyes all wide in amazement. She was
wearing baggy tan cargoes and a pink top. She had been weaning off pink when I
left her in the middle of her budding bull-dyke phase, but she appeared
unwilling to let it go.

I always liked her in pink.

There were gunshots on the TV and the screen went red as her character got
killed. I hoped it wasn't foreshadowing; just looking at her had given me an
urge to rip her open and feed on her blood. But I controlled myself. I had
glanced at the TV at the sound of the gunshots and when I turned back to Lauren
she was still looking at me. Her character's death hadn't distracted her at
all. I had no idea how I was supposed to greet her, but I let instinct guide me
into a smile.

"Hey," I said.

She blinked and closed her mouth. I saw her neck move as she swallowed a lump
in her throat and I felt a wave of dizzy desire wash over me. I could only
imagine how sweet her blood would be, but in my imagination it would have to
stay, because I had to be strong. This was Lauren, my ex, the only girl I'd
ever loved with my heart more than my vagina. This was my house, my bedroom.
Mom was downstairs. I couldn't allow myself to lose control—

But I closed the door just in case.

I pushed it closed with a soft click, my heart beginning to gallop, and then I
turned back to Lauren. I smiled and sauntered forward slowly with a studied
coyness, like a bad girl who's secretly confident of being forgiven. Her brows
had gathered into a dark frown but I think what troubled her most was how
beautiful my smile was.

"Surprised to see me?" I asked.

Her glare darkened. "The fuck do you think?"

Well. It seemed her conversation skills were as elegant as ever. A year ago,
such an encounter would have flustered me, but now, as a vampire, I simply
chuckled and gestured at the space on the bed beside her.

"Can I sit down?"

The question seemed to annoy her. She turned off the game with the controller
and shrugged once as if she didn't care. "It's your fucking bedroom."

How gracious of her. I accepted the invitation and settled down beside her,
still smiling and trying not to stare at her neck. My eyes swept across the
posters on the wall, which happily provided a topic of conversation. "I like
how you've decorated it," I said. "It's much better than how I had it."

But she didn't seem interested in small talk. She glared at me and said: "Why
did you come back?"

I hesitated to answer. Unlike mom, she obviously wasn't happy to see me, and
that was probably a good thing. Lauren was hotter than mom, and even mom had
made me thirsty; a bunch of weepy eyed hugs with Lauren might be too large a
strain on my control. But I could feel the hunger swirling in my stomach and…

What was the question again?

Why did I come back?

I didn't know. Right now it felt like I'd come back for this exact moment, to
sit beside her on a bed and stare at her throat and quiver with hunger just
before I—

"I don't know," I said. I flickered my eyes up to her face and the grudging
vulnerability in her eyes made my hunger roar. I could tell that she wanted to
forgive me and somehow I found this notion impossible not to encourage. "After
I talked to you last month," I said, swallowing more venom. "I just…I just
really missed you."

Her face softened against her will, her eyes shining as she struggled to
maintain her glare. It was a slight lie, of course, but it had the desired
effect; I could smell it in her pheromones, the sweet scent of confusion,
attraction, and just a little exhilaration. She had been dreaming about this
moment for six months and that had been was exactly what she wanted to hear.

She still loved me.

"I'm so sorry, Lauren," I said, wrapping my arms around her in a hug, letting
her scent invade my head. "I never meant to leave you like that."

I held her, and gently, tentatively, I felt her hug me back.

"I missed you too," she said in a small voice.

I smiled and it was a good thing she couldn't see. My fangs had elongated and
my mouth was turned dangerously to her neck.

"Can you forgive me?" I asked, somehow needing her forgiveness, needing
her…consent.

She didn't answer, but I could hear her heartrate and feel her breathing.
Containing my thirst, I turned my lips and kissed her cheek. Then I kissed
again, closer to her mouth, and closer, and closer, and finally I pressed my
lips to hers. A soft sound escaped her, something like a whimper. Six months of
wistful daydreams were coming true for her. Her long lost girlfriend was back
in her arms and we were finally going to be together forever, just like we
promised.

But it was just a dream. The reality was somewhat more sinister. Because this
girl in her arms was not her long lost girlfriend and no amount of promises
would ever keep me from Alice. Lauren and I were never supposed to be together
– in fact, even this charming reunion may not last much longer, especially if I
couldn't control myself. I didn't think I was in danger of killing her, I was
pretty sure I could stop myself before that happened. But even just a bite
would be more than enough to shatter all her hopes and dreams.

"I'm so sorry, baby," I said between kisses, my voice eerily similar to
Alice's. "I never should've left you. No one ever loved me the way you did. I
always loved you, baby. You were always the one I loved."

It was disturbing how natural the lies felt, each punctuated by a kiss and a
tiny sound of happiness from my former girlfriend. If I had any kind of heart
at all I would have felt terrible for what I was doing. But my heart had been
blackened recently, and all I felt was lust. It was the strongest I had ever
felt it for anyone other than Alice.

Lauren's lips were so warm, so soft. So human. I opened my mouth and requested
entry with my tongue. She parted her lips invitingly and I deepened the kiss,
my heart jumping at the moan she made as I rubbed my tongue against hers. She
returned the kiss, wrapping her arms around me tighter, and—

She pulled back sharply. She looked at my mouth, almost in fright, and said:

"What happened to your teeth?"

Oops.

She had felt my fangs with her tongue.

Didn't think of that.

"Oh, it's caps," I said, recovering relatively gracefully. It was one of the
lies Alice and I had come up with in case I got excited and someone noticed my
fangs. I even smiled to give her a better look. "It's a goth thing," I said.
"Cosmetic dentistry. I thought it was kind of cool. Don't you think?"

She screwed up her face slightly, but obviously she wasn't about to believe I
was a vampire. The signs were there—pale, sexy, pointy teeth—but vampires don't
exist and my new look was nothing that couldn't be explained away as a fashion
statement.

"Goth?" she said. "Where the fuck have you been?"

Her dream moment had been ruined slightly, and I was anxious to get it back on
track. Call me heartless, but I wanted to at least seduce the girl.
Technically, it would be cheating, and there were likely to be a variety of
consequences to such an action, but I didn't care. The red fog in my head had
thickened to the point where rational thought wasn't possible. Pussy was second
best to blood, and I didn't want to spoil her mood by answering questions about
where I had been, what I'd been doing, and who I was doing it with.

So I just shook my head and put my hand at her waist. The boldness of the touch
made her heart skip a beat – I heard it. "Let's not talk about that now," I
whispered, caressing her waist and letting the hem of her top ride up over my
hand. Her skin underneath was warm and smooth. "I'm just so happy to see you…"

It didn't repair the moment completely, but it disarmed her enough for me to
move in with another kiss. I continued caressing the skin of her waist,
teasingly gentle, and very soon she allowed my tongue back into her mouth. I
let my hand drift up over her back, feeling out her brastrap under her top, and
then I bought my hand around to her front, just under her breast.

"May I?" I asked, breaking the kiss for a second and leveling a lidded look
into her eyes. Again, I wanted her permission, her consent. I wanted her to
want it.

She was slightly breathless, but she nodded. "Yes," she said, and with a smile
I connected my lips to hers once more, letting my hand glide up over the cup of
her bra.

I passed the pad of my thumb over the rough lace and then squeezed gently. Her
breasts were as small as I remembered them, and her bra was just a plain bra.
No fancy pushup or anything like that. But it didn't matter. Bella Swan was not
a superficial girl; I wasn't interested in appearances, I was interested in the
person underneath – in particular I enjoyed the parts of people underneath
underwear.

So I deepened the kiss and gently pushed up the cup of her bra, finally getting
her soft little breast in my hand. It had been a long time since I'd felt it,
but I remembered it like yesterday. A tiny little mound with a pebble-hard
nipple in the center. She moaned and shivered as I squeezed a little harder,
and then she took off her top.

We had to break the kiss to pull her shirt over her head, and I took that
moment to smile, happy she was into it. When the top was gone, I immediately
replaced my lips on hers, and continued fondling her exposed nipple as she
reached behind her back to take off her bra. When she had it off, I broke the
kiss and leaned to her other nipple, sucking it for a few moments as she moaned
and threaded her hands in my hair.

"Oh god," she said. The poor girl obviously hadn't been touched in a while.

I sucked at her other nipple for a bit and then I raised up and looked at her.
Her face was flushed red and her breathing was fast and shaky. I smiled and
tongued my fangs, suppressing some less gentle urges. Her entire upper torso
was exposed, and it would've been so easy to just grab her and wrench back her
head and—

"I forgot how much I loved your breasts," I said, caressing them with my hands.
It was a slight lie, but not the worst one I'd ever told. Then I smirked and
grabbed the hem of my top. "Want to see mine?" I asked impishly.

A breathless chuckle escaped her and she nodded. "Fuck yeah," she said.

I smiled and obliged her, pulling my skimpy top over my head with my long hair
gathered up and then falling again in a dark brown cascade. I wore no bra, of
course. My shape was perfect already and the top had been tight enough to
bundle them together quite nicely. Now they bounced free, with my nipples all
hard and swollen, and her mouth actually dropped open as they were revealed.

"Fucking hell," she said, staring at my very lovely tits. "Did you get surgery
or something?"

"No," I said, smiling and taking one of her hands. "I just grew up a little."

I pressed her hand against one of my breasts, feeling my skin tingle hotly
under her touch, and soon she had recovered enough from her awe to grope me on
her own accord. I resumed the kiss, letting my tongue become more aggressive,
and after a while the softness under her fingers was too much for just her
hand, so she lowered her mouth and began sucking at one of my nipples. I
preened my chest to accommodate, stroking her silky blonde hair and smirking,
tonguing my fangs as the lust rolled over me in waves. This was the girl who
used to call me a disgusting dyke everyday at school; now she was sucking my
tits. Ah, the irony.

Finally she bought her mouth back up to mine and began kissing me again,
wrapping her arms around my neck and pressing her chest into my boobs. My pussy
was getting wet by now and hers was, too. I could smell it, a musky scent. We
were still kneeling in the bed, me in my miniskirt, her in her cargoes, rubbing
our chests into each other as the kiss heated up. I stuck one of my hands in
her pants and groped her ass a little bit. Her ass was nothing compared to
Alice's, but it was still one of Lauren's best features. She never did have a
fantastic body, but she was slim and she had nice skin, so even though I didn't
exactly have feelings for her anymore—healthy feelings, at least—she was still
quite fuckable.

And that's exactly what I was going to do. So I broke the kiss and immediately
felt her hot breath blasting my lips. She was breathing so fast she was almost
hyperventilating. My own breathing was much calmer, a dangerous
misrepresentation of how close I was to losing control. I smiled and placed
another kiss on her lips.

"Lay down," I said. "Let me show you how much I missed you."

It was a bit cruel to further feed her fantasies of happy reconciliation, but I
couldn't help it. I wanted her to like it as much as possible – to want it as
much as possible.

She looked into my eyes and swallowed, blinking uncertainly a few times, as if
trying to decide if it was okay to go all the way so soon. I didn't know why
she had to think about it. She was sitting there topless, with her naked chest
heaving and the scent of her pussy strong in the air; did propriety really
matter at this point?

Finally she nodded, not speaking, and then she laid down with her head on the
pillow. My old girlfriend, on my old pillow, on my old bed. I smiled and
lowered my mouth to hers, resuming the kiss, kissing her slowly as I stroked
her breasts, kissing her as she had probably fantasized about all this time I
was away. I lowered my hand in her pants and into her underwear, probing her
wet folds with my fingers as she shivered and opened her legs.

"Is this okay?" I asked, seeking just a little more consent.

"Yes," she said, squirming her hips. "Fuck yes."

"Good," I said, and kissed her again.

I played with her pussy for a little bit, making sure she was nice and horny. I
found her clit with my fingertip and bought her to the edge as I teased it, but
then I stopped. I lifted my hand to my mouth and licked her arousal from my
lips, letting her watch as her shuddery breath began to calm. The erotic
display seemed to startle her and she was transfixed by the sight of my tongue
snaking around my fingers and fangs. Her neck was right there, all soft and
vulnerable—but no. Pussy first. Then blood. Maybe. No, no, I can't. But pussy,
yes.

I swallowed the venom and the taste of pussy in my mouth, and smiled. "Are you
ready?" I asked sweetly, inwardly surprised at how easy it was to pretend to be
a warm and gentle lover.

Lauren nodded, but deep in her eyes there did seem to be something cautious.
The Bella she remembered was weak and submissive. This Bella was bold and
aggressively coy. But even if I did seem slightly different, she still loved
it, and she still nodded. "Yes," she said. I smiled and went to lower my head,
but suddenly she grabbed my face and looked into my eyes. "I love you, Bella,"
she said, almost fiercely. "I always fucking loved you."

And I'll admit, my heart did break slightly at the passion in her voice. She
was going to be so crushed in a few minutes or so, or even dead. It was sad,
but there was nothing that could've stopped me now. So I smiled and placed a
kiss on her lips.

"I love you, too," I said. "And I'm gonna make it up to you, okay? Starting
right now."

She smiled and I kissed her one more time, and then trailed kisses down her
neck—only narrowly avoiding ripping into her throat—and more kisses onto her
chest. My hands were on her breasts, and I spent a bit of time sucking at her
tits, mostly for the sake of form. Lauren didn't have very sensitive nipples
and her boobs weren't sexy enough to inspire much enthusiasm. Laying on her
back, she was almost flat. There wasn't much of a payoff for either of us, but
it was routine, and I always did enjoy the taste of swollen nipples.

Eventually I moved my mouth lower on her stomach until I came to the waistband
of her pants. Here, I sat up between her legs and smiled. She watched me,
breathless, waiting. She wasn't wearing shoes, so I simply tugged down her
pants, waiting for her to lift her hips of the mattress. I pulled them all the
way down and tossed them over the side, pulling away her panties at the same
time. They came away sticky with her wetness and when they were gone she let
her legs fall open. The scent of her arousal wafted up to meet me and I swayed
slightly, almost drooling venom.

Her pussy wasn't waxed or shaved, and her hair down there was much darker than
the hair on her head. All of the Cullen ladies were perfectly bald, but Lauren
had always been more of a stereotype since her coming out – combat boots,
piercings, pubic hair. I preferred shaved, honestly, but in the end, pussy was
pussy. When you were laying into it face first, did it really matter?

Lauren was watching me with a little self-consciousness, as if worried what
I'll think since there was more hair there than the last time I saw her. So I
smiled and passed the pad of my thumb over it, letting her know I liked it.

"Still don't shave, huh?" I asked.

"Fuck that," she said. "I'm not gonna conform my body to what guys like."

"Doesn't matter, it's still cute."

"Then hurry the fuck up and go down on it."

I giggled. It was nice to see Lauren back to her bossy ways, and without
further ado, I lowered my mouth and began licking her wet mound.

"Oh god, Bella," she said, instantly at the edge. "I love you. I missed you so
much. I can't believe you came back."

"Mmm," I moaned, barely hearing her. "I love you too, baby."

My lips closed around her clit and I suckled at it gently. She gasped and
squirmed on the sheet, desperate for more. The poor chick probably hadn't been
laid in six months, so I obliged her. I inserted two fingers into her vagina
and continued sucking at her hard and swollen nub, pausing only to lick at it
firmly a few times before wrapping my lips around it once more, sucking harder
and harder. Her breath began to moan in and out of her chest. I nipped at her
clit with my teeth, resisting the urge to simply turn and bite her thigh, and
suddenly she arched up off the mattress and came with a loud whimper.

Remaining arched up, she clenched her hands in my hair and panted away the
orgasm. Finally she sank back down onto the sweaty sheets and for a while I
continued to lick up her arousal, the red fog rolling through my mind and an
evil voice whispering in my ear to do it now, bite her, drain her, break her—

But no, not yet. My pussy was mad with horniness, and I needed to take care of
that first. And even then, no. I can't.

"Oh god," she said. "That was fucking amazing."

Of course it was. I'd had more practice than most people get in a lifetime. But
it might've seemed cocky if I mentioned that, so I simply smiled at her with my
glossy lips, and continued with the coy routine.

"Will you do me as well?" I asked, my pussy uncomfortably wet under my skirt.
"You have no idea much I missed your touch. I've been dreaming about this for
so long."

A happy smile lit up her face. "Me too," she said.

To be honest, I'd adlibbed that line, but I was pleased at it's effectiveness.
I needed her to want me as much as possible, and it was working. She sat up and
began to kiss my mouth lovingly, tasting herself on my tongue and preparing to
complete our happy reconciliation with a nice tonguing. I only wished she'd
hurry. I've got a wife to get back to.

"Lay down," she said, still smiling happily, appearing to have forgiven me
completely. She stroked my huge breasts and her smile went crooked. "I'm gonna
fuck you so good."

It was a generous offer and I wasted no time accepting it. I flopped down onto
the pillow, letting my boobs bounce fetchingly. Lauren noticed, of course, so
the effect wasn't wasted. She grabbed them with her hands and smiled, and I
just watched passively, the venom pooling in my mouth as my eyes flickered over
her throat.

She lowered her face and began to suck, lick, and grope my tits, and quite
hungrily, too. In the past, she had never been overly enthusiastic about
returning the favor after she had her own carpet cleaned. I guess she really
did miss me. Sad.

"Oh fuck you're hot," she said, licking across my nipple. "Your tits are
amazing."

I giggled, and while I appreciated the compliment, I had other areas that
needed attending to. So I put my hands on her head and push her down gently.

"Keep going," I whispered. "Please. I need you."

My miniskirt had a zip on the side, and after unzipping it, she pulled the
skirt down my thighs and past my boots before tossing it over her shoulder. I
opened my long white legs with a certain arrogance, using my vampire-
flexibility to show her how to make a really sexy shape.

But it kind of backfired. The sight of my black lace thong seemed to dampen her
spirits slightly, as if such sexy underwear wasn't really appropriate to the
situation. But she didn't mention it. She pulled the thong away and tossed it
aside, exposing my pussy. I watched her. She smiled and lifted her eyes to
mine, stroking the insides of my thighs with her hands as she knelt at my
entrance.

"You're even more beautiful than you used to be," she said. There was a vague
hint of disappointment in her voice, as if my beauty somehow indicated that
maybe I didn't miss her as much as I claimed. She had a point; depressed lovers
don't thrive and grow two bra-sizes. Lauren had visibly lost weight since I
last saw her, and her face was paler, as if she hadn't been getting out much.
Meanwhile, I was radiant as a swimsuit model – and in a thong, too.

But my head was too hazy to come up with something clever to set her at ease,
so I counted on my beauty itself to save me. "Thank you," I said, and smiled.
But it wasn't just a smile; I was laying there naked and horny and obviously
wanting it. A smile under those conditions was a potent weapon, and it seemed
to hit Lauren's bulls-eye. She smiled back, her anxieties melting away, and
then she lowered her mouth to my pussy.

About time.

I moaned loudly and moved my hips into her face gently. She licked me the way I
had always liked, a nice long lick across my whole pussy, again and again,
flicking my clit at the end of each lick. "Mmm," I groaned, squirming
pleasurably on the bed. "Keep going, baby. Lick me deep and show me how much
you missed me."

I felt her tongue wriggle into my vagina, in and out, as if she was fucking it.
The orgasm was beginning to build, and she must've heard it, because she moved
to my clit and stuck two fingers inside me. I would've preferred three—or her
whole fist—but I didn't want to interrupt. I clenched on her fingers, moaning,
and I closed my eyes, focusing on the feel of her lips fastened to my clit.

"Oh god," I said breathlessly, feeling it build. "Oh fuck, I'm coming. Ugh.
Keep going. Keep going, keep going, keep—!"

I came. My words trailed off in a breathless gasp as I tossed my head on the
pillow, grinning aside as the orgasm exploded between my spread legs. Waves of
ecstasy rolled over my naked body, wave on wave, and I chuckled throatily at
how hard I'd come. I didn't expect to come that hard. Lauren was pretty good.

She licked up my arousal, the same way I licked up hers, and after a while I
closed my legs and sat up. She was sitting there on her knees, watching me with
a strangely shy expression on her face, as if it had been our first time and
she wasn't sure if she was any good. I smiled, cupped her face, and kissed her,
tasting myself on her lips. She smiled back and then, without speaking, she
wrapped her arms around my naked body and hugged me.

"I can't believe you're actually back."

I could feel her warm front pressed against mine and my next breath trembled
slightly. My mouth was so close to her neck, and even though my pussy was taken
care of, there was another lust inside me, a lust that raged stronger than
ever. And now was the time, now with her so naked and vulnerable, now with my
arousal on her lips, now—

But I didn't. I gulped the venom and answered her question in a thick voice.
"Me either," I said.

She released me and smiled, so sadly unaware of how close she was to something
horrible, something that wanted to kill her right now and feed from her and—

"Where the fuck have you been, anyway?" she asked with a mellow chuckle, as if
it was all good and she was only curious.

The question made my heart pulse darkly. I had lied to get into her pants, but
I had already told the truth to mom, so there was no point concealing it
anymore.

"Paris," I said.

Her smile slipped slightly. Of all the places on earth, she had probably not
expected the romance capital of the world. "Paris?" she repeated.

"Yeah," I said, watching her reaction, noting every flicker of her features as
it slowly dawned on her that something was wrong.

She looked down at the bed, away from me. "With her?"

Her voice was flat and dead. I nodded. She wasn't looking at me but she seemed
to see it. She was silent for a few moments and then she looked at me, trying
hard to keep her lip from trembling. I saw her throat move as she swallowed,
and I felt another wave of lust, longing with all my being to just—

"Where is she now?" she asked, one final feeble note of hope in her voice, as
if maybe she had understood and the answer to this question would fix
everything.

But I was going to have to disappoint her. I could've pretended if I wanted,
but I didn't want to. Lies were fun, but the truth could be exhilarating, too.
It made me feel evil to take pleasure in the tearful confusion in her shiny
eyes, but I couldn't help it.

I was a vampire.

"She's staying at a motel," I said. "She knew you'd be here."

Lauren looked at me for a second, astonished at the coldness I was displaying
so soon after making love to her for the time in six months. She turned away
and got off the bed, needing to get away from me. It would've aided her dignity
to put some clothes on, but she was too upset. She whirled around to face me
naked.

"She came home with you?" she demanded.

"Mmhm."

"Why?"

"She's my wife," I said, lifting my left hand and wriggling the fingers. "We
got married in Paris."

The breath rushed out of her as if I'd punched her in the stomach. Tears of
fury instantly filled her eyes. "You fucking bitch," she said, her voice
stunned and rage-trembled. "How the fuck could you?"

I smiled and gave a shrug of my bare shoulder, coldly amused at how she was
standing there all angry and naked. It was making me horny again.

Lauren looked away, her face going green. Her neck gave a little jerk and for a
second it looked like she was going to throw up. But it was only a sob. It came
out choked and wretched, and then she lifted both hands to her face and started
crying.

I watched her for a moment, feeling a tiny tug in my heart. Her tears had
penetrated the fog slightly, but only slightly. I felt the urge to make her
feel better, even if it was a somewhat sadistic urge, a curiosity to simply see
if I could. Alice had taught me that there was no injury that couldn't be
forgiven if you were naked and asked nice enough.

So I got out the bed and approached her, clad in nothing but black leather
boots. I reached for her quivering shoulder, ready with a coo on my lips, but
as soon as I touched her skin, she swatted my hand away. She glared at me with
her crumpled tear-stained face and hiccupped a sob.

"You had sex with me," she said in a strained voice. "And you're married?"

I wasn't sure if the ceremony was valid in America, since we had used fake
papers, but I guess the principle was the same. Alice was my wife, my lover, my
soulmate. My everything. So I gave my ex a small smile, standing there naked
and freshly fucked by her tongue, and said: "Sorry."

It took her so much by surprised that she stopped crying. Then a sudden rage
overwhelmed her and she slapped me.

It was a brutal slap, very hard and very stinging. It felt wonderful. I smiled,
feeling a quick flash of horniness, and my smile only seemed to enrage her
further. With a strangled moan of fury, she flew at me like a banshee. She was
so livid she couldn't speak or even scream. She only made little gurgling
sounds of rage as she tried to beat me with her fists.

I tried not to laugh, but honestly, I loved it. Becoming a vampire had improved
my reflexes, so after letting her work out a little of her anger, I grabbed her
wrists and tried to calm her down. She writhed in my grip with surprising
strength, all blonde and naked, like an shortchanged whore.

"Lauren, calm down," I said. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

She spat in my face. It came out in a hiss, almost like a cat, and caught me
off guard enough to make me loosen my grip. She took advantage and wrenched
away quickly. But my grip was weaker than she assumed, and she twisted away so
fast that she tripped over her own feet and fell. There was a sickening thump
as her head slammed into the edge of the dresser. The blow was so hard it
knocked her out, silencing her enraged panting, and her body spilled onto the
carpet and sprawled at my feet—

Naked.

Helpless.

With a gash in her forehead.

For a long moment I did nothing but stare. It was beyond me right then to feel
bad about hurting her, emotionally or physically, because something dark was
stirring in my stomach, something darker than anything I had ever felt before.
Lauren's naked body was twisted on the floor, one leg bent underneath her, and
I was staring, letting my dark eyes roam all over her soft warm-looking peach-
colored skin, letting the hunger grow within my stomach like some dark
incubation, letting the venom pool in my mouth and drool from my lips. It had
begun to rain outside and the rain was pattering on the window. I couldn't hear
it. My gaze was locked onto her forehead where a bright redness was oozing
across her unconscious face and slowly, quietly, an evil little voice rose up
inside me and whispered:

Blood.

I quivered, my whole naked body trembling with the temptation. The time for
control was over. I'd have to try not to kill her—I'd have to try really
hard—but I had to do it. She was unconscious, she wouldn't even know. And the
reunion was already ruined. Lauren would never forgive me for what I had done
to her this afternoon and I didn't care. I didn't care about anything but that
blood. That hot wet sticky oh so lovely looking blood.

So I got down on my knees and crawled on top of her naked body, my chest
humming like the purr of a large and dangerous feline. I let my tongue unfurl
from my mouth and lowered it to her head, licking across the wound and feeling
my heart almost explode from the joy of blood. I licked again and again. The
wound kept gushing and I kept licking, licking the blood as it leaked from her
head, holding her face steady in my hands. Some of the blood had stained her
blonde hair and some of it had stained the carpet. But most of it stained my
mouth as I lapped it up like a famished succubus, licking and licking until the
wound bled no more.

And I knew I should've stopped, but I couldn't. I wanted more, so much more. So
I gathered her loose and floppy body in my arms, brushing her hair back with my
hand, and I took advantage of her helplessness by placing a lewd tongue kiss on
her unconscious mouth, tainting her lips red with her own blood. Then I moved
my fangs to her neck, savored the anticipation for just a moment, and sank my
teeth into her flesh.

—

It took all my willpower, but I managed not to kill her. Much of my newborn
rapacity had been satisfied in Paris, and when I finished with her neck, my
hunger was satisfied enough that I managed to suppress the urge to rip apart
her naked body with my teeth like an animal. It even made me a little sad that
I wanted to. So instead I simply placed one last kiss on her ashen lips and
then wiped the blood off with my thumb.

It was still raining when I went downstairs. Mom was in the livingroom and it
was dim aside for the grey light in the rain spattered window. She was standing
at the sidetable and looking at the framed photographs there. Most of them were
my school photos, from elementary through highschool. She was holding one of
them in her hand and as I approached silently from behind I saw that it was the
photo she'd taken on prom night, of me and Alice in our dresses.

"Mom?" I said.

She jumped, and covered her fright with a chuckle as she put the picture down
and wiped her eyes. She'd been crying again, but she didn't want me to know.

"Yes, sweetie?" she asked.

I half turned back to the stairs. "Lauren hit her head," I said in a strange
tone. I wasn't aware of what tone I should use, that's why it was strange. "We
have to get her to the hospital."

The fake smile slipped off her face. "What?"

But she didn't wait for further explanation. She pushed past me and raced up
the stairs, as if the wounded blonde was her actual daughter, and maybe by now
she was. Certainly more a daughter than me at this point. I followed her up to
my room and watched her crouch at Lauren's unconscious body. I'd cleaned up her
neck and put her clothes back on, dressing her up like a doll. I just hoped the
blood loss wouldn't be too serious.

"Oh my god," mom said, gazing worriedly into Lauren's face. "What happened?"

"She got angry and tried to hit me," I said. "Then she fell over and hit her
head on the edge of the dresser. Is she okay?"

Mom ignored the question, and started hefting up Lauren's limp body.

"Quick," she said, "help me get her into the car."

Mom and I eventually got her up, mom's hands hooked under her arms, me holding
her legs. We carried her through the rain and loaded her into the car. I sat in
the back, holding her steady, and halfway to the hospital I copped a feel of
one of her boobs. They were still nothing fantastic, but I had to amuse myself
somehow. Mom was busy being worried and it was a long drive.

The medical center was just outside town. It was the same place I had gone to
after my first night with Alice, so many months ago. It was almost ironic.
Lauren's first time with a vampire sent her straight to the emergency room,
same as me. Lauren had a cover injury, though, so I hoped the blood loss might
go unnoticed. Concussions are generally more serious.

Two nurses helped us get Lauren into a wheelchair and then they wheeled her
away for treatment. Mom was a nervous wreck, and she wouldn't talk to me. She
didn't blame me for what happened, but it was too much for her to handle right
now. First my return, now Lauren seriously hurt. So much for Alice's grand plan
of repairing our relationship. Poor mom. Not only did I destroy her real
daughter, but now I almost killed her substitute-daughter, too.

I didn't feel guilty exactly, but I did feel a odd melancholy. Part of me was
still pouting over the fact that I had been forced to stop feeding, and part of
me was wondering why I did stop. Murder was against the law, obviously, but was
that the only reason? I supposed I'd been thinking of mom, too. It was bad
enough to see her run upstairs to find an unconscious body; I would've hated
for her to find a dead one and realize I was the murderer. But were those the
only reasons? How much of a monster had I become?

I had always thought Alice was exaggerating when she said that vampires were
evil, but now I understood. Just like she said I would. The lust had fucked
with my mind and caused me to seduce my ex, knock her out, and feast on her
blood. Yeah, I guess that was pretty evil. And worse, I didn't even feel that
guilty about it. I was mostly worried about how Lauren was going to react when
she woke up and what she was going to say to mom – and even this worry was
laced with curiosity and a strange eagerness. I really was a monster.

The doctors eventually revived the victim and stapled her head. Mom had called
Lauren's family while we waited and hung up in disgust after only a few
minutes. I assumed this meant Lauren's mother wasn't coming to visit anytime
soon. A doctor had come out to tell us the situation, and mom asked if she
could see her. The doctor nodded, but told her to be quiet and not cause the
patient any excitement. Mom glanced at me and I said I'd wait in the corridor.
It was my presence that had excited her into a concussion in the first place.

Mom went into the room and I lingered in the hall for a few minutes before I
decided to call Alice. I missed her, and I figured I better let her know we
might be moving on quicker than we thought. You weren't supposed to use
cellphones in a hospital, but frankly, I didn't care. I had just sexually
molested my ex-girlfriend while she lay bleeding on the floor; why would I care
about hospital rules? So I punched in Alice's number and put the phone to my
ear. She answered on the first ring, and my heart glowed to know that she had
kept the phone close.

"Hey, baby," she said. "I'm so lonely without you. How did it go?"

I figured I better just blurt it out. "We're at the hospital."

"Oh my god, what happened?"

I winced and decided to continue with the bluntness. "I think I fucked up,
Alice," I said. "I…"

"How, baby?" she prodded gently.

I took a deep breath. "I controlled myself with mom," I said. "But then
Lauren…"

I trailed off. She was silent for a while, and I couldn't tell if she was
disappointed I had cheated on her, or disappointed my control slipped. Or both.
For the first time through the whole ordeal I felt like shit. Alice and I were
supposed to be improving our relationship, and now this happens. I suck.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I said, not knowing what else to say.

"It's okay, baby," she said. "Did you kill her?"

"No."

"Did you seduce her?"

I didn't reply. Her voice wasn't sharp, it was very soft and understanding. But
I still felt terrible. It made me feel a little better that she used the word
'seduce' instead of 'fuck,' but I still felt like a very low class of whore.

"It's okay, baby," she said to my silence, a slight giggle in her voice. "I'm
not angry. I told you how hard it would be to control yourself, remember?
That's why I offered to let you feed from me before you left. I knew it would
be hard for you."

"But it was like I couldn't even try," I said, grasping at her understanding.
"It was like…"

"Like being possessed?" she said softly. "Like being controlled by something
stronger than you? Something evil?"

I was nodding into the phone. "Yeah," I said, and paused to glare at an orderly
who passed me in the corridor. I didn't know if he was looking at me because I
was using a cellphone or because my ass was hot, but either way, I didn't like
it.

"That's how the thirst works," Alice went on. "It doesn't force you to do bad
things, it just makes bad things seem like a good idea. It's okay, baby. I
understand. We've got hundreds of years to develop your control and get our
relationship right. How is she?"

I was so overwhelmed by her understanding that at first I didn't know who she
was talking about. "Lauren?" I asked.

"Yes," she giggled. "Lauren."

"I don't know," I said. "The doctor said she has a concussion and they're going
to keep her overnight. Mom's with her."

I heard Alice sigh. Sighs sounded so nice over the phone, and there was no sigh
nicer than Alice's.

"We might have to leave Forks earlier than we thought," she said. "I knew I
should've made you feed from me before you left."

I had thought the same thing—that we would have to leave—but now that I heard
it out loud, I had to wonder. "I don't know," I said. "Mom was pretty happy to
have me back and Lauren might be to embarrassed to tell her what happened. And
even if she does, I don't think mom will kick me out. Maybe there's still a
chance."

Maybe it was vampire-vanity, but I really did want to stick around a little
bit. I had slipped up today, but I could control myself from now, and I didn't
want to leave mom like this. Not again.

Alice sighed again. "Then I guess we'll stick to the plan," she said. "Make
things good with your mom, okay? But I don't think I can go much longer without
getting my tongue inside you. Can I see you tonight?"

I smiled. "If mom kicks me out, I'll meet you at the motel," I said. "If she
lets me stay…"

"You'll leave the window open?" she asked excitedly.

I didn't answer, I just giggled and hung up. Somehow I had the feeling that
right now she was running out to buy a long black trench coat, eager to reenact
our first time with all her usual lust for symbolic theatrics. Ah, Alice.

We had come back to Forks to try and get our relationship back on track, and
the first thing she wanted to do was climb through my bedroom window naked.
Although, in a way, I guess you could classify it as normal, albeit slightly
skanky, behavior. Nothing wrong with sneaking a girlfriend into your room at
night, especially at the ripe old age of seventeen and a half.

I was actually excited, and I quickly glanced at the door to Lauren's hospital
room. Mom had been in there a long time, and I was hoping Lauren wasn't telling
her how I had adulterously seduced her and coldly mocked her anguish. Just in
case, I figured I better try and patch things up, instead of just dawdling out
here in the corridor. So I pushed open the door and went in.

Mom was holding Lauren's hand, but Lauren wasn't talking, and she didn't look
like she had been. So far so good. They looked at me, and Lauren looked away
again, her face crumpling somewhat. Mom looked at her silently and back at me.
I didn't know how much she knew, but she didn't disown me or call the police.
She rose from her chair, looked at Lauren one more time, and then she left the
room, evidently deciding to give me a moment alone with Lauren.

Lauren wouldn't look at me. I approached her bedside and smiled, as if I wasn't
really a horny demon who had decimated six months of her fondest hopes and
dreams.

"Hey," I said softly.

Her face hardened into a glare and she turned it to me slowly. She looked at me
in disgust for a moment and then she shook her head slowly. "How could you do
that?" she said. "I keep trying to think of some reason…but there's nothing. I
mean, why?" she demanded, building up heat. "Why would you do that to me? Are
you psycho? Are you fucked in the head?"

They were very accurate observations, and I didn't feel like lying, so I just
nodded. "I think so," I said quietly, perfectly truthful.

She looked at me, stunned and sad. For a long time she had been hoping against
hope for me to come back, but this Bella wasn't the Bella she wanted. She only
knew a fraction of the truth, and even that fraction was repulsive. I'd left
her for an other girl, married that girl, and then come back and fucked her
just for fun. It was a horrible thing to do, it really was, and the least I
could do was apologize.

"I'm sorry, Lauren," I said. "I told you I've changed. This is me now.
Alice…made me crazy."

The mention of Alice caused her eyes to fill with tears. She tried to hold them
back, but some of them fell anyway, dripping with each blink. "I told you to
stay away from that freak," she said, her voice breaking.

"But that's just it," I said helplessly. "I like being this way."

Lauren sniffed and looked away. Then she started crying, sobbing quietly into
the quiet of the hospital room. I watched her for a moment and felt a dim
sadness brood in my chest where my heart used to be. Not sadness, but a lack of
sadness; a void all the same.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, for what it was worth. "Alice and I are trying to be
better, but it's hard for us. We're not…we're not normal like you."

"Goddamn you, Bella," she said, her voice shaking. "I've been waiting for you
to come back for six months, and this… this…"

"I never meant to hurt you, Lauren," I said, trying to sound sincere. "I really
didn't."

Lauren turned her face into the pillow and cried into it, muffling her sobs. I
glanced back at the door, wondering if anyone could hear, and then I turned
back to Lauren. I put a hand on her shoulder to get her to look at me, but she
ignored it. I could see the twin bite marks in the side of her neck, and even
though they were less than an hour fresh, I felt like biting her again.

"Lauren?" I asked, caressing her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

She didn't reply, she just sobbed into the pillow. I watched her for another
moment, but I had upset her enough for one day. So I leaned down and gave her a
quick hug, foolishly hoping it would make her feel better, and then I kissed
her hair softly, inhaling her scent one last time.

"I'm really sorry," I said huskily. "Please don't hate me."

Then I stood up and backed away to the door. She had stopped sobbing, but she
still had her face buried into the pillow. I glanced at the bump of her hip
under the peagreen hospital sheet and then I turned and went out the door.

Mom knew nothing of what happened with Lauren and she seemed willing to accept
my explanation that she'd simply fallen over and hit her head. It was partly
true, at least. More importantly she was willing to accept me back home.

We drove home in silence and we made dinner together in silence and in silence
we sat down and ate. It was almost like old times, aside from the fact that all
subjects led to Alice and Alice led to bad feelings. It was going to be
difficult assimilating Alice into mom's life, but if I could control
myself—especially around Alice—then I think we might manage. After dinner we
did the dishes together, me washing, her drying with a dishtowel. She still had
no dishwashing machine. When was she going to get a dishwashing machine? By now
the awkwardness was beginning to fade, and she took a few minutes to tell me
about something trivial that happened at work. We even smiled a few times.

When the kitchen was all cleaned up, we went into the livingroom and mom
watched TV while I grabbed a book off the shelf; Wuthering Heights. I hadn't
read it in ages, but it didn't engage me as it once had. Why live vicariously
though the obsessive and destructive passions of literature when I had
obsessive and destructive passion waiting to climb through my bedroom window?

It was thoughts of Alice that prompted me to go to bed early. I wanted to stay
up with mom as long as possible, simply to be with her, but the lure of Alice's
pussy was tugging at my brain and making me hungry. Plus, I was getting weird
around mom again. My eyes kept flickering off the page and onto her chest where
she sat on the sofa. She wore a nightrobe, but the nightrobe was open, and her
breasts looked very full and womanly in her white sleeptank. I'd always liked
large breasts, although I typically preferred them when they didn't belong to
my own mom.

So I figured it was best to hurry upstairs and focus my lust on Alice, who was,
ironically, the healthier choice in this case. Of course, I didn't want to be
presumptuous by assuming my old room would be freely offered to me, so after
kissing mom on the cheek, I said:

"Do you think I should sleep on the couch?"

Mom put her hands on my shoulders and looked into my face. "It's still your
room, sweetie," she said. "This is your house, your home. It will always be
your home, okay?"

It was her subtle way of begging me not to leave again. I didn't know what was
going to happen when Lauren was released from the hospital—since we certainly
couldn't share a room—but for tonight I was willing to take it.

"Thanks, mom."

Mom smiled and pulled me into a hug. There was a sitcom on TV and a laughtrack
played in the background. I nuzzled mom's neck, letting my mind haze just a
little, and then she pulled back. She cupped my face and looked at me as if she
hadn't seen me in six months.

"I love you, sweetie," she said.

I leaned and kissed her cheek. "I love you too, mom."

By the time I got upstairs I was giddy with anticipation, almost like that
night so many months ago, when I had first met that girl of dreams in the
school cafeteria and knew that she was going to come to me, to claim me and
make me hers. I had showered before dinner and mom had given me some of her own
sleepclothes to wear, and before I got into bed I took it all off.

One by one I pulled off each article and dropped it to the floor, kicking it
all into a pile with my bare foot. I opened the window a crack, refusing to
give into the temptation of looking outside for Alice, and I shivered as a cool
night breeze passed over my naked body. My pussy was already tingling, and with
an impish smile, I turned and climbed into the bed, my heart beginning to throb
the same way it had done that first time, and every time after that.

Alice must've been waiting in the darkness below, because she appeared almost
instantly, just her eyes in the corner of the window, smiling as they met mine
where I lay waiting in the bed. For a second we looked at each other, an
unexplainable feeling washing over me. It was a moment unlike any other. After
all we'd been through, against all the odds. Here we were. Where we began. It
really was destiny. No matter what happened, nothing was ever going to stop her
from climbing though my window and into my heart. Again. And again. And again.

And nothing stopped her this time, either. She lifted the windowframe and
climbed in, and my heart soared to see what she was wearing.

A long black trench coat.

It was exactly like my dreams, the dreams I'd had almost every night since I
could remember having dreams. The girl of my dreams, here in reality. She
smiled at me silently, thinking the exact same thing, and then she slowly undid
the belt of the coat, slipped it off, and let it fall behind her.

Underneath she was naked.

Totally naked.

The sight of her exquisite little body mesmerized me as it always did, only
this time there was another hunger, another lust. My fangs had grown in my
mouth and my mouth was open, staring at her lustfully. She smiled with her own
fangs, passing her tongue along them erotically as she sauntered forward in the
dim lamplight.

"Alice," I said softly, my heart glowing from the name.

Her red smile widened, but she didn't reply, not yet. She was reenacting the
dream, just as I knew she would, and she wasn't supposed to say my name yet.
Her hand touched my shoulder and trailed along my body, into the dip of my
waist and over the hill of my hip, pausing at my ankle to caress it softly
before closing her fist in a handful of bedsheet and pulling it away, slowly
revealing my naked body, my breasts, my arms, my long white legs that were
rubbing together for friction at the sight of this dark little nymph climbed in
from the night.

I played my own part just as eagerly. I rolled onto my back and smiled as she
climbed into the bed, straddling my hips and grinding down in a quick little
thrust. I wanted to giggle at her attention to detail, but I hadn't giggled in
the dream, so I didn't giggle now. She closed her eyes and tilted her head
back, inhaling deeply, and then lowered herself across my body and whispered
softly into my lips:

"Bella."

That was where the dream ended and now where our restraint ended as well. Our
mouths clashed together and we made love with all of our old passion, forcing
our dreams to come true the only way we knew how; by pretending.

And when it was over, I gathered her body up in my arms, the same way she
gathered mine that first time, and I sank my fangs into her neck. Neither of us
spoke. Neither of us needed to. She gave a girlish gasp at the entry of my
fangs into her skin and I moaned as the warm blood began to fill my mouth,
holding her tight and mashing her naked body against mine, her legs wrapped
securely around my waist. We had been through a lot, Alice and I, and yet here
we were. Our first time all over again, exactly the same and yet so much
changed. We had come full circle and from now on there was nothing that was
going to stand in our way. A fresh start, and this time no coven and no
psychotic redhead to tear us apart. And as her perfect blood gushed into my
mouth, I had to wonder:

Was this the end?

Or was destiny not done with us yet?

—

***** Chapter 42 *****
—

Chapter 42:

—

Alice and I cuddled all night, and in the morning, when it was only gray light
in the window, we heard mom's soft footsteps in the corridor. She paused at my
door, as if she wanted to check if I was still here. Alice grinned guiltily and
ducked under the covers, but then mom's footsteps continued down the corridor.

Alice popped out again and planted a kiss on my lips. "I guess it's time for
you to get up," she said, although of course I hadn't slept. I'd always thought
lack of sleep would be one of the worst aspects of vampirism, but coupled with
the sexual stamina of a demon and a girlfriend like Alice, it was one of the
best parts. I'd lost count of how many orgasms we'd quietly shared in the dark.

But yes, it was time to 'get up.' So I sighed, knowing that I might be without
Alice for a few hours, and kissed her back. "Yeah," I said glumly. "I guess."

She smiled at my sullen tone. We were laying on our sides, heads on the same
pillow. It was a single bed, the bed I'd slept in since child hood, so we were
very close, and she had one leg thrown over my body possessively.

"Did you tell her we're married?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Not yet."

"Try to tell her like it's a good thing," she suggested. "As if it's proof of
how serious we are. She's not going to be happy about it. To her, you're way
too young to get married. Maybe it'll be simplest if you pretend it was just a
play-ceremony. It basically was, anyway. After all, you didn't even have a visa
to leave the country. How would you obtain a marriage license? Besides, it
won't be our last wedding. We'll have an official ceremony here in Washington,
when you're older. Maybe twenty, twenty-one."

I was listening, but I was stroking her thigh, too. I was never going to get
sick of how wonderful her soft skin felt under my hand or pressed against my
body. She smiled and snuggled closer, rubbing herself against me.

"I love how you touch me," she whispered into my mouth.

My lips tingled at the touch of her breath. "I love touching you."

Moaning softly, very softly, she let her lips brush mine for a moment before
pressing them together. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her on top of
me, hooking a leg around her. I let her tongue into my mouth, moaning, and
began kissing back. Heat was building between our legs and soon we were
touching each other, foreheads pressed together and panting quietly into each
other's mouths as we gasped away another orgasm into the dim gray morning.

Then it was time for Alice to go. I watched her wrap the long black coat around
herself and open the window, before turning to me for a goodbye kiss. I was
still naked and I cupped her face tenderly, making a romantic moment out of it.

"When you turned me into a vampire, you never warned me how awful it was going
to be not to constantly fuck you all day," I told her poutily.

She smirked and kissed my lips. "It's only because you're a newborn," she said.
"It'll get easier."

"I hope it doesn't," I told her. "I love feeling like this. Like I'm gonna die
if I don't do you. It hurts, but it feels so good, being so addicted to you. Do
you feel the same way for me?"

"You know I do, baby," she said, and pulled me into a deep kiss. "But you're
mom's waiting. Be a good daughter, okay?"

I pouted. My stomach was swirling with hunger, and I had to wonder if I was
slutty even by vampire standards. I had fed from her last night and groaned out
an untold number of orgasms, and yet I wanted her now more than ever. Surely
even demons would raise an eyebrow at such whorishness.

"But because baby's such a hopeless little whore," Alice added impishly, "why
don't I give her an extra-special goodbye kiss?"

And with that she slowly sank to her knees at my feet. I smiled and opened my
legs a little, watching her lean to my pussy and—

Oh god that's so good.

I love being a vampire.

It didn't take long before my vagina was spasmming on her tongue, and when she
was done, she opened her coat, sat on the windowsill, and spread her own lovely
legs.

"My turn," she chimed.

I hooked my arms around her thighs and dived in tongue first. She came with her
legs closed around my head and then slowly loosened them.

"Whew," she said, standing on wobbly legs and tying the belt around her coat.
"Will that be enough to hold you for a while, baby?"

I licked my lips, tasting her arousal and the venom in my mouth. To be honest,
I was horny again already, but I guess it'll have to do. I had promised Alice
that I was going to help her repair our relationship, and the first step toward
that was restraint. I couldn't expect Alice to do all the work, so I nodded and
smiled.

"I think so," I said. "But I'm going to need you again very soon."

Alice smiled, wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed me. I grabbed her
ass, but the coat was very thick and it wasn't such a great feel. God, I was
going to miss her.

"I'll be waiting at the motel," she said, when she pulled back. "Make sure
everything's good with your mom and then I'll fuck you as much as you want,
kay?"

I nodded glumly, but she probably had the right idea. Using sex as a bride to
force me to behave was probably the best way. I never thought we'd reach a
point in our relationship where I'd be more of a slut than Alice, but here we
were. I was going to have to try harder. After all, we had an eternity to fuck,
but my time with mom was already ticking. So I sighed and kept nodding.

"Okay," I said, trying not to pout.

She smiled at what a big girl I was being and kissed my lips. Then she gave me
a quick spank and hopped out the window.

Instantly I missed her, so I heaved a huge sigh as I shut the window. Oh Alice.
How could you do this to me? I trudged over the pile of clothes I'd left on the
floor and picked up the panties. But I was really really upset about how unfair
it was, so I stomped my foot angrily, causing my boobs to jiggle. Sometimes it
sucked being a vampire.

But by the time I was halfway down stairs, I had forced myself into a better
mood. After all, mom was waiting, and she deserved better than a daughter who
was too preoccupied with sex to even say good morning after being welcomed back
into a loving home after six months of abandonment. Besides, there were
important things to discuss, such as mom's approval. So far Alice and I hadn't
had a chance to make any mistakes in front of mom, and Lauren hadn't mentioned
anything about yesterday. So if I could start things on a good note with mom,
then maybe it would be possible to get her approval. I'm not sure why that
mattered, but I could feel my vampire-vanity stirring. Longing for mom's
approval wouldn't be keeping me up at night—Alice's pussy did that—but like any
chick, I would prefer my relationship to be admired and envied rather than
loathed and despised.

And I could always fuck Alice later.

I found mom in the kitchen and my infected little heart went pitter patter when
I saw she was mixing pancake batter. Aw. Nothing like the promise of fried
pastry to keep a daughter from running away from home again.

"Hi, mom," I said.

"Oh, sweetie," she said, almost brightly. She put the bowl down and gave me a
big hug. She had showered and changed already and her hair had a nice sweet
smell. I hadn't showered personally, but vampires enjoyed perpetual
cleanliness. Somewhat ironic considering the dirty stuff we did on a nightly
basis. In any case, I hugged her back, letting myself smile. Mom was no Alice,
but she was okay, for now.

"I was afraid it was just a dream," she said, holding me tightly. "I almost
checked to see if you were in your room." She chuckled and released me. "I was
going to make pancakes for breakfast as a surprise. Are you hungry?"

"I can make them," I offered, gesturing at the bowl. After all, the woman had
taken me back into her home despite the fact that I was the worst daughter in
history; whipping up breakfast was the least I could do.

But mom smiled and guided me to a chair. "You just sit," she said. "I'm still
your mother, you know."

Mom's words made me feel a pleasant mixture of shame and affection. It's nice
to be loved even when you're an awful person. So I sat down, wrapped in a warm
bubble of happy disgrace, and watched my mom go over to the stove and melt some
margarine in a frying pan.

Good old, mom. No matter what I did she would always forgive me. Much like
Alice. Unconditional love. Mom's love wasn't quite as graphic, of course, but
the principle was the same. Maybe that's why I loved Alice so much. She was a
lot like mom in many ways. They had that same warmth, that same capacity for
love. Mom wasn't as hot as Alice, but that was probably a good thing. I was
tempted enough as it was. I suppose it was all very Freudian; Alice was a mom I
could have sex with. She was old enough to be my mother, certainly. She even
'created' me. And now she was feeding me with blood and teaching me life all
over again. It was a little disturbing, really, but I suppose it was only
subtext.

Mom poured the batter in the pan and glanced over her shoulder. "What are your
plans for today, sweetie?" she asked, her voice taking a more serious note.

"Um," I said, trying to delay. Honestly, I had no plans for the immediate
future at all other than to do what Alice says and fuck her as often as she
lets me. "I'm not sure."

"I have to pick up Lauren from the hospital in an hour," mom said, deciding to
share her own plans instead. She turned to me, her face going sad. "Does she
know…"

"Know what?"

A frown of disapproval furrowed her brow. "That Alice is in town?" she said,
the name Alice deepening her frown even more.

"Oh," I said, feeling a flash of shame. Stupid Bella, I admonished myself. I
needed to focus on the conversation and stop trying to picture Alice naked.
"Yeah," I said. "She knows."

Mom gave me a look and then turned back to the frying pan. "Is that what caused
her to get angry and hurt herself?"

There was a certain coldness to the question, as if she was trying to blame me
without blaming me. I supposed I deserved it. To be honest, I was happy mom was
on Lauren's side. It showed wisdom and common sense, two things I don't
remember seeing much of out of my dear old mother.

"I don't understand it," mom said, shaking her head. "After everything that
girl did to you…"

Just a hunch, but I didn't think she was referring to Lauren. Likely she was
referring to Alice and the intense amounts of drama and anguish my loving
girlfriend had inflicted upon me over the course of our relationship. I
could've explained that Alice had a way of balancing out the bad with massive
amounts of hardcore sex, but I figured now would be a good time to get some
practice at lying for the greater good.

"Alice has changed mom," I said, which was at least half true. She was trying
to change, at least. "She's different now. She knows she was a little…reckless
when we first started dating. But we're grown up now. You'll see. You'll love
her when you get to know her."

Mom turned with the spatula in her hand, almost as if to threaten me with it.
"Bella," she said. "I'm happy you came home, but that girl will never be
welcome in this house. Never."

There was a great deal of emotion in her voice, and I made the tentative
assumption that mom hadn't forgiven Alice. Hadn't even considered it. In fact,
the very mention of the girl seemed to infuriate her. She'd obviously been
reigning it all back until now because she didn't want to push me back into her
arms, but a good night's sleep seemed to have dampened her gratitude of simply
having me back. Now she wanted me back without Alice.

"If you insist on seeing her, fine," mom went on sternly. "I can't do anything
about that, all I can do is hope you'll realize the truth someday. But you
can't expect me to be supportive. Not after…"

She gestured with the spatula, unable to put it in words, and then she turned
and flipped the pancake in the pan. I sighed and wished I was in bed with
Alice. But I wasn't, I was here with mom, and somehow I had to make this all
better. I had to make her see how committed we were to pretending we were in a
healthy relationship. It was important to Alice, and important to me, too.

"Can she at least come over for dinner tonight?" I asked.

Mom didn't even answer, she just stood at the stove with her back to me. And
rightly so, it was a very feeble question, and pathetically timed. She had
finished telling me that Alice was never going to be welcome into this house
and my bright idea was to invite Alice for dinner? Obviously, this lying stuff
wasn't an automatic talent of vampires. It was going to take some practice.

"Listen," I said, groping my brain before the silence stretched too long.
"There's something I have to tell you, mom."

The seriousness in my voice made her glance. "What is it?"

"Alice and I got married."

Mom's face drained. I made an effort to smile, remembering Alice's advice about
presenting it as good news, and then I rose from the chair and came forward to
show her the ring.

"Not officially," I said, "but look. She bought me a ring."

That wasn't exactly true, but close enough. Technically, I had bought the ring
with her family's money and then she'd regifted it to me after we decided to
kill each other on our wedding night. Like all aspects of our relationship, it
was kind of complicated and not really something I could explain to mom. So I
just lifted my hand and let her see, there on my ring finger, a platinum band
with a pink diamond butterfly perched on top. Mom looked at it with something
like dismay, but she didn't say anything. Before the silence became awkward, I
smiled and went on.

"See?" I said, with a tactful touch of enthusiasm. "That's what I'm trying to
say. We're not kids anymore. We're serious. This is forever with me and her."
Mom lifted her eyes to mine, and the lost sadness in them gave me a brilliant
flash of inspiration. I took both her hands, looked into her eyes like an
adult, and said very earnestly: "And it would mean everything to me to have
your support."

It didn't knock her off her feet, but it did make her blink woundedly. I felt
terrible for preying on her maternal side, but it was definitely her weak spot.
So I made my eyes even more pleading, and considering my eyes were big and
brown and beautiful, I had to assume it was a powerful effect.

"Please, mom?" I said, careful not to go overboard. "I know I have no right to
ask after the way I treated you. But I love you. You mean more to me than
anyone. I'm so sorry I hurt you, but…"

I lowered my eyes in shame, as if I couldn't bare to look at her. I glanced at
her tits accidentally, but really, I did feel awful. I shook my head, letting
the moment hang for dramatic effect, and then lifted my eyes back to hers,
looking like a lost little girl who needs her mommy.

"I don't think I can do this without you, mom," I said, even summoning up a
gloss of tears in my eyes. "Everything is all so overwhelming to me right now.
Alice left her family and now where married. She can't stay at the motel
forever, and…" I sniffed; it was a little over the top, perhaps, but it seemed
to work. "I need you, mom," I said to her. "I need you to help me through
this."

Mom's eyes had filled with tears, and instantly she pulled me into a hug. It
was a terrific performance, and it was a good thing I was immortal, because if
I ever died I'd be going straight to hell.

"Oh, sweetie," she said, with a little sniff of her own. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," I said, caressing her back.

And for a moment we simply stood there in the quiet kitchen, hugging and
enjoying the reconciliation. I had closed my eyes, letting myself absorb her
warmth. I loved mom, I really did. She was so warm and she smelt so nice. The
scent of her hair filled my mind with sensations of love and acceptance, and
for a moment I was tempted to cup her butt erotically. But that might've
spoiled the moment, so I didn't.

There was actually a lot of truth to what I said. I dramatized a bit for the
sake of impact, but Alice and I really did need mom. We didn't have unlimited
cash, and we no longer had an androgynous blonde millionaire to supply us with
bottomless creditcards, either. We needed a place to stay, but we also needed
an adult, someone to pass as a parent figure, at least for a year or two. It
was possible for me and Alice to exist independently, but it would be much
easier if we had a loving guardian, a mother-figure who would care for us,
guide us, and do laundry.

And mom was perfect for the job. She had always loved her mother work, and she
had always loved me, too. She loved me so much. I was so lucky, to have such a
loving mom, so full of warmth and forgiveness. Would she forgive me if I copped
a feel? Better not risk it. Mom was straight and not fucked in the head at all,
so even though she probably hadn't been laid in a decade, I doubt she'd be into
doing it with her daughter, no matter how sexy her daughter was. I wasn't into
it either, of course. Just wondering.

So I opened my eyes and prepared to let go. Over her shoulder I saw the
pancakes smoking which struck me as perfect timing. "Pancakes are burning," I
said, reluctantly letting go.

Mom quickly turned around and turned the stove off, wiping at a couple errant
tears with her other hand. She took the pan off the heat and flipped the
slightly burnt pancake onto the pile. She put the pan back down on the stove,
quietly, and then turned back to me.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," she said. "I know you're girlfriend has had some issues
in the past. I'll try to remember that. It's just so hard not to be angry with
her for everything she's done to you."

"A lot of it was my fault," I said modestly.

But mom took my face in her hands and looked into my eyes. "No," she said. "I
know you, Bella. You were the best daughter I could ever ask for. And then…"
She turned away, holding back tears. She sniffed once, dabbed an eye, and
turned to me, trying to smile. "But in a way, I'm proud of you," she said. "As
wrong as it was, you stood up for what you believed in. You followed your
heart, even when it was hard. I always thought you'd get hurt, but now… Maybe
now…"

I felt guilty. She was trying to be optimistic, but the situation was so bleak
she could hardly manage. Her information was a little inaccurate, too. I'd
followed my heart, sure, but my pussy was leading the way. Still, I appreciated
the noble light in which she chose to view it.

Mom took a breath, very noble herself, and went on. "I don't know if I'll be
able to accept her," she said, "but I'll try. If you really love her as much as
you say you do, then I'll…I'll try to love her too."

It had been a strain for her to say, but she said it, and I loved her for it.
She really was the best mom in the world. Although it was kind of ironic that
in order to reach a happy reconciliation we both had to suppress our real
feelings and tell each other what we wanted to hear. But it didn't matter. If
mom could make an effort to be an amazing mother, I could try harder to be an
amazing daughter.

"Thank you, mom," I said, smiling and leaning in for another hug. "This means
everything to me."

Mom hugged me back and I could feel much of her tension draining away. It
seemed to have set her at ease that I was sincere in needing and wanting her
help.

"I love you, sweetie," she whispered, and kissed my hair.

I felt a dark flicker in my heart at the kiss, aware of how perfect it would be
if she let me bite her, but I knew she never would, so I only squeezed her
once. "I love you too."

We hugged for a bit more, and when she pulled back, she had brightened quite a
bit. Possibly it was vampire pheromones. I wasn't precisely sure how they
worked, but from what I understood they simply made you attractive, which was
great for getting people to like you.

"Well," mom said, breaking up the moment. "I better go pick Lauren up from the
hospital. If you're going to be living here, we'll have to move her things into
the spare room. I'm not letting her go back to that awful mother of hers."

I was glad mom was protective over Lauren. One less thing to be guilty about.
But honestly, Lauren could keep my old room. It had been nice to reenact the
dream last night, but this was supposed to be a fresh start. Besides, it would
make me sound noble to willingly give up my room.

"She can keep my room," I said. "I'll take the spare."

Mom nodded, as if she agreed. She was gathering up her purse and car keys,
stowing them in her handbag. She was wearing jeans and while she didn't wear
them as well as Alice she certainly wore them better than most women her age. I
felt a dark stirring in my stomach, and I really hoped that would go away
eventually. It was going to be hard maintaining a healthy mother/daughter
relationship if she caught me ogling her body one day.

"I think that might be easiest," she said, referring to my room. "Lauren's
really become part of the household, and I don't want her to think I'm trying
to shove her out. Well, enjoy the pancakes, sweetie. There's butter in the
fridge, okay?"

She said this with a smile, and she so was beautiful for a moment, that I just
had to kiss her. So I placed a platonic peck on her lips, ignoring the way my
heart surged, and smiled back. "Thanks, mom," I said. "You're the best."

She gave an awkward nod, obviously disarmed by the kiss and unsure if it was
creepy. Mom and I had always been affectionate, but not that really like that.
Still, no straight middle-aged woman wants to wonder if their sexy lesbian
daughter is putting the moves on them, so she just attempted a casual smile,
turned, and left.

I watched her go, and for a second I wondered if it was possible. I'd never do
it, of course, but her reaction to the kiss—innocent as it was—filled me with a
dark confidence, even making me a little horny. I was curious if I was capable.
Most girls don't seek to validate their sexual prowess by seducing their own
mothers, but not all girls were sick and twisted vampires. Maybe I was
flattering myself, but under the correct conditions, I thought maybe it was
possible. Maybe. Probably not, but maybe.

In any case, there was no point thinking about it. Alice was the only woman I
needed, and now that the encounter with mom was over, I was free to fly back
into her arms and between her legs once again. So I waited until I heard the
car leave and then I turned to the plate of pancakes mom had prepared for me.
So sweet of her. But it wasn't really what I was hungry for at the moment, so I
tipped them into the garbage and covered them up with papertowel so she
wouldn't see. I tried to feel guilty about throwing out a breakfast prepared
with so much love, but it was beyond me at the moment. Still, I took a moment
to wash the plates, which made me a little feel better about being such an
ungrateful brat.

And finally it was time to return to my darling love, so I scribbled a note for
mom on a pad and stuck it to the fridge, saying that I was going to see Alice.
Be back for dinner.

—

Alice was happy to see me, of course, even though it was only an hour or so
since we'd had our tongues in each other. We were both in agreement that it was
an hour too long and we proceeded to perform a sixty-niner on the bed, always
my favorite position. Two handfuls of Alice's ass and a mouthful of Alice's
pussy; sheer bliss. When we were done we did it again, switching up positions
and tribbing until we came, and then she put a strapon on me and bounced on it
till she came before taking it off again and licking me to a slow and lovely
climax.

But, of course, it's not really practical to have sex all day, and eventually
we were forced to use our mouths for less erotic things, like conversation. So
we showered and cuddled in the bed, talking quietly as we fondled each other
idly under the covers. We talked about tonight. I gave Alice a recap of mom's
mood and intentions, and Alice nodded thoughtfully, processing it all in her
pretty little head. She was optimistic and soon she was even excited about
dinner. I'm not sure if she was happy that my mom was willing to give her a
chance, or simply thrilled at the opportunity to display her acting skills, but
as always her excitement was contagious. When she suggested we should go out
and buy new outfits for the occasion I didn't even groan that we'd have to get
out of bed. I liked shopping with Alice and I was sure she'd fuck me in the
change room.

Forks wasn't a great town for shopping, and Angela's fashion boutique was still
the best place in town. We walked there from the motel, hand in hand through
the rain with a big black umbrella. Our clasped hands drew stares, the kind of
ignorant stares you'd expect in a small town, and I found that it bothered me
even more than when I was human. It was frustrating to have supernatural
strength, sharp teeth, and a near total lack of conscience. It made you want to
murder anyone who pissed you off, but the police were terribly stern about such
activities, and I didn't think the righteous massacre of a small town was the
best way to set out on the road to a happy and healthy lifestyle.

Angela's mom was at the counter when me and Alice went in and there were a
couple girls browsing that I remembered from school. They were juniors last
year, so they'd be seniors now. They were surprised to see me and even though I
hardly knew them they were very hearty in welcoming me back. My relationship
with Lauren had done a lot to boost my popularity at school last year. Neither
of them recognized Alice, despite Alice's notoriety, but they were happy to
meet her. Why wouldn't they be? Alice was the most charming girl you'd ever
meet, until she ties you up and stabs you a few times. And even then you gotta
love her. I know I did.

It was odd not seeing Angela at the store, but her mom gave me a quick update
on her location and status. She was at Seattle U, and she had broken up with
her old boyfriend—the one she said she be with forever—and met another one. She
was studying law and she was going to be a lawyer. All very fascinating, but
unless the woman had some naked pictures of her daughter she'd like to share, I
think I'd heard enough.

Alice was busy charming the two girls from school, entertaining them with tales
from California, which was where I had runaway to, apparently. They listened,
transfixed, as Alice painted a portrait of a lonely teenage girl in a strange
city, scraping by as a waitress until destiny intervened in the form a pretty
young heiress named Alice. It was love at first sight, very romantic, and now
she had returned with me to the home of my birth with the mission to reenmesh
me with my mother. The only thing she didn't explain was why I left town in the
first place, but her audience didn't appear to be particularly bright, and the
minor plot-hole didn't seem to bother them.

The four of us continued to browse the store and soon Alice and I had picked
out some outfits and adjourned to the change room for a quick fuck and an even
quicker conference on whether or not we should take the two girls back to the
motel room. It was a risk, Alice told me, but she was still pale from last
night, and she did need to feed.

Of the two, one of them was blonde and the other brunette, and only the
brunette was smart enough to be hesitant of Alice's offer to hang out at the
motel. That seemed a little stereotypical, but there it was. The brunette
mention some homework that she had to do, but the blonde had developed quite a
fast admiration for Alice and managed to goad her friend into it. Alice padded
the scenario by speaking of a high priced shoe collection she could show them,
and while the promise seemed a lot like offering a child candy to hop into a
van with blacked out windows and a mattress in the back, I had to admire her
innocent charm and ease of delivery.

It took about an hour to get their clothes off, but it was far easier than I
would've assumed. Vampire pheromones were part of it, but Alice was a master
seductress and she hit just the right note of playfulness and daring. I had let
her do most of the work, and after answering a couple well-natured inquiries
from the blonde about what it was like to be a lesbian, we indulged her
curiosity with a demonstration that involved a graphic tongue kiss. Her
interest was piqued. I could smell her arousal from across the room. Her
brunette friend took a little more work, standing a little apart with her arms
crossed in consternation, but eventually she too was weakened to the point
where she consented to try it.

Alice kissed them both, one first then the other. The blonde found it quite
exciting, and after watching Alice kiss her friend a little, she threw a glance
at me, as if she wanted to try kissing me, too. So I did, slipping my hand
around her waist and my tongue into her mouth. She was surprisingly into it,
and even the more reserved brunette was giggling as Alice pulled off her top.
The blonde was wearing a red bra and soon I had it off and her tits in my
hands, kissing her and feeling her up, making her moan. The spectacle caught
the attention of the brunette who looked at my boobs in shock as her friend
hiked up my top and enjoyed her first feel of a girl. Alice noticed and giggled
and offer to swap, pulling the blonde into her arms and leaving the brunette to
watch me breathlessly as I removed my shirt and my bra and came toward her
topless and silent, smiling as I kissed her softly and pressed my naked chest
into hers.

We all got horny very quickly and soon Alice and I had them squirming on the
bed as we pulled off their pants and panties and began licking at their
entrances. The brunette was reluctant because she was a virgin, but Alice
promised she would be gentle and leave her intact down there. The blonde, on
the other hand, enjoyed two fingers deep inside her as I sucked on her clit,
and after she came she wasn't shy about admitting it was way better than
anything her boyfriend had ever done to her. Then she went down on me, quite
eagerly. The brunette watched with a flushed and breathless face, and I smiled
at her, lacing my fingers in her friend's blonde hair, careful to conceal my
fangs. Alice was between her legs, keeping her promise of gentleness, and soon
the girl came with a moan, staring at my boobs with another girl's lips fasted
to her clit.

They both had a pretty good time, although the brunette was looking like she
regretted it already. She was the first to put her clothes back on and she
seemed anxious to get home, probably so she could get started on convincing
herself that today was just a fluke and it didn't mean anything. It didn't, of
course, but some girls who had a lesbian experience could struggle with it, no
matter how straight they were. The blonde, on the other hand, seemed to have
incurred no damage on her heterosexuality at all. She was already talking about
how she was going to get her boyfriend to do the exact same thing the next time
she saw him.

But before they left, Alice of course offered them a refreshing—and
drugged—beverage. I didn't see what Alice put in the water, but it knocked them
out in a matter of minutes, so I assumed it was probably some kind of
tranquillizer. They should've known better, really. They even taught us at
school not to drink anything we hadn't seen prepared ourselves. Alice didn't
look like you're typical date-rapist, but it never hurt to take precautions. Ah
well. Maybe they'd learn from this experience.

The blonde was easily the sexier of the pair, and Alice very graciously offered
to let me have her. So we arranged our new friends on the bed and gathered them
up in our arms, all loose and floppy with their heads lolling and long hair
dangling. I set the blonde on my lap, and groped her butt as I nuzzled her neck
and licked a patch of skin there, wetting it with my venom and letting the dark
hunger swirl inside. Alice did the same, stroking back the brunette's hair. We
smiled at each other over the shoulders of our victims, our fangs long and
sharp, and then we turned and sank our teeth into their pretty necks.

When we were done we woke them up with smelling-salts and sent them on their
way with a somewhat dubious explanation that they had somehow fallen asleep at
the same time in the middle of the day in a strange motel room with two
strangers who had a sexual interest in them. They couldn't recall how they fell
asleep, but they hadn't been robbed and Alice and I were far too attractive to
be suspicious, so they didn't call the police or start screaming. The blonde
even gave her us number.

Well fed and pleased with the enjoyable interlude, Alice and I spent the rest
of the afternoon having sex and talking. I called mom to confirm our plans for
dinner, just in case my disappearing act had soured her slightly on welcoming
back her wayward daughter, and soon it was time to get changed.

We showered and fucked, emerged into the room naked and fucked again, giggling
and trying to be as quick as possible so we wouldn't be late. Alice had
selected our outfits, so naturally they were somewhat more reserved than what I
would've chosen for myself. She had opted for a style that was casual yet
formal, a sundress for herself and a preppy skirt-turtleneck combo for me. I
didn't think concealing the majority of our skin was likely to dispose mom any
more favorably against us, but it was better than showing up like a pair of
tramps. Alice's outfit was prettier than mine, of course, and she hammed it up
by adding a touch of makeup to her face. Only a little, just enough to make it
obvious that she was trying to make a good impression. Her dress was pale
yellow and she wore sneakers on her feet with pink shoelaces. Overall she
looked as pure and innocent as the sunrise, and if she could resist fucking me
on a lit stove between the maincourse and dessert, she might actually succeed
in fooling mom that she the wasn't same ravenous slut she used to be.

For my part, I was just happy she picked skirts. Easy access could come in
handy at some points in the evening. It might look suspicious if we went to the
bathroom at the same time, but there was always before and after in the car.

Alice had been slightly pouty at having to wear sneakers, but the affront to
her precious feet was overwhelmed by her growing excitement. It built as we got
changed, as if she was psyching herself up, and she was almost radiant by the
time she put on her makeup.

"This is so exciting, isn't it?" she said, applying the last touch of lipstick
in the bathroom mirror, a modest shade of pink. "I always wanted your mother to
accept me."

I was standing behind her, arms around her waist loosely. I didn't know if she
was acting already or if my mom's approval really did matter, but the line was
often blurred with Alice. She had always preferred method acting.

"She said she'll try, Alice," I said, not wanting her to get her hopes too high
in case I tongue-raped her on the kitchentable accidentally. "She didn't say
she would."

Alice giggled, capping the lipstick and tucking it away in her makeup case that
was perched on the rim of the sink. "That's okay," she said. "All I need is the
opportunity. You should know by now, baby. No one can withstand my charm when I
focus. I was distracted by how much I wanted to fuck you when I first met her,
but now…"

I yanked down her panties.

My hands had slipped under her dress just a little and I couldn't help it. Her
freshly showered scent was swirling in my head, a smell of lavender and soap,
and I needed her one more time before we left.

She giggled and turned to me, panties at her knees. "But now I guess it's you
that might get distracted, hm?" she asked, snaking her arms around my neck.

"Sorry," I said, kissing her lips a couple times. "I'll try not to get
distracted during dinner."

But right now I needed an appetizer, so I dropped to my knees, stuck my head
under the skirt of her dress, and connected my lips to her pussy, listening to
her moan sweetly at the touch of my tongue as I wriggled it inside her.

It was about half an hour later when we left the motel. We didn't know what
time would be best to show up, so we played it safe and arrived early. I didn't
have a key so mom answered the door, dishtowel in one hand and a deep frown
forming on her face as soon as she saw Alice.

Alice greeted her with the correct amount of shame and coyness, not quite
looking her in the eye but still managing a small smile. Mom invited us in and
told us that Lauren wouldn't be joining us for dinner. She was still a little
woozy from the concussion she suffered and she was asleep. She was also
probably so consumed with hatred that she would be unable to eat in the
presence of Alice without throwing up, but mom was too tactful to mention that.

Mom had only just started cooking and soon I was helping her while Alice sat
quietly at the kitchentable. Dinner was a tense affair, obviously, and quite
tasteless as well. No disrespect to mom's culinary skills, but there was no
dish in the world that could compare to blood and pussy. But that's just me. My
palate was a tad exotic these days.

Alice was in perfect form in her role of reformed psycho-girlfriend and soon
mom had even loosened up enough to listen to some tales from Paris. Alice told
a wonderful story that presented me in the best possible light while Alice
herself came off as a victim of a fragile emotional state rather than a
perpetrator. She told mom about how depressed she was after I dumped her at
prom, and how she'd begged her family to take her away. So they took her away
to Paris, where she tried to get over it but couldn't, and she had become more
and more depressed until she just couldn't bare to live anymore. She couldn't
eat, she couldn't sleep. The loss of her love was too much to handle. Mom's
face softened quite a bit at that, and I tried not to smile. Mom was always a
sucker for romance.

But despite being so close to death, Alice was determined to let me go, to let
me live and be happy without such a troublesome girlfriend hanging around her
neck—or fastened to it was her teeth. Her family, of course, were very
distraught, and two of her sisters had come back to Forks in order to beg me to
return to Alice. Alice played up my reluctance perfectly, making it very clear
that my number one priorities had been mom and Lauren, but in the end I simply
couldn't let Alice wither and die in Paris. At this point I was quite taken
away by the drama, and I jumped in to add that I wanted to say goodbye so much,
but there was no time and I knew I'd be breaking their hearts. I told her that
there were so many times in Paris that I'd pick up the phone and long to call,
but I was just so ashamed that I couldn't do it, and the longer I hesitated,
the harder it became. I finished up by claiming that eventually it was Alice
who convinced me to come back, and without Alice I might've been lost in shame
forever.

Mom was very moved by all this, and she even had to dab at her eyes a couple
times. She said she had no idea how difficult it must've been for us, and even
though she didn't embrace Alice on the spot as her new daughter-in-law, I was
pretty sure it was only a matter of time. Assuming, of course, that Alice and I
didn't fuck it up. But with no redhead intent on reclaiming her slave and no
more jealousy and possessiveness, I was pretty sure that we'd be able to
present a reasonable façade of a healthy relationship. We'd done a good job
tonight. I was dangerously tempted to drop my fork and go down on Alice under
the table, but I didn't, and I was pretty sure the urge didn't show on my face.

Dinner was soon over, and we had made such significant progress on mom that she
actually smiled a few times when Alice described the wedding. Alice omitted
certain details, of course—such as our plans to consummate our love by fucking
each other to death—but she described the dresses and flowers, the food, the
dancing. Mom was so moved she even said she wished she could've been there.
Alice agreed and demurely added that she only hoped she would be a good
daughter-in-law. It was a little over-the-top perhaps, but her delivery was
perfect, and mom seemed to feel the sincerity.

And eventually it was time for Alice to get going. It was getting late, and
we'd been almost three hours without screwing each other. My pussy was
beginning to get very frustrated, but I contained myself enough to help mom
gather up the dishes and stack them in the sink.

"Well, Alice," mom said. "Will you be staying over tonight?"

There was a touch of disapproval in her voice, as if she was only asking
because she didn't want me to run out of the house again, and Alice picked up
on it.

"Actually, no," she said. "It's probably best not. I don't want to take
advantage of your hospitality, and…"

…she'll be climbing through my window anyway. I smirked, but I admired her
acting. She truly was a perfect angel when she wanted to be.

Mom was satisfied with this and nodded, wiping her hands with a dishtowel.

"Well, drive safely," she said. "Thank you for coming."

"I will," Alice said, and gave me an expectant look. "Walk me out, Bella?"

Need she ask?

I walked her out, but to my disappointment we didn't automatically tumble into
the backseat. She paused at the car, looked up at the dark sky, and turned to
me with a smile.

"I think that went well," she said. "What do you think?"

"You were perfect," I told her with a kiss.

I kissed her a couple times, so she'd get the hint I wanted to fuck her
quickly, but she started giggling into my lips and I had to stop.

"What so funny?" I asked, smiling as well.

"I'm not laughing," she said, gazing up at me brightly. "I'm just happy.
Everything is going to be so perfect from now on. I can feel it. In a week or
so I'll move in with you and your mom, and then we'll get jobs and save up for
college. Then we'll move to Seattle and get a place of our own. We'll never be
able to have a family, of course, but that's okay. Kids are overrated. And
you'll have your mom, only three hours away. We'll visit her all the time.
She'll love me like a daughter, you'll see."

It was nice to see Alice so happy, and even nicer that she actually had a
reason to be. Our relationship was in the best place it had ever been. We were
both vampires, we had a plan for the future, we were free to love each other
without interference from the coven. There were bound to be an occasional slip-
up or two, but the worst was definitely behind us.

"How long will we stay in Washington?" I asked.

"I don't know," she said. "For the rest of your mom's life, maybe."

I chuckled. "Won't she notice if we don't age?"

Alice was toying with the hem of my turtleneck, as if to straighten it, and she
smiled at my chest. "Well, we'll see," she said, almost coyly. "We won't be
seeing her all the time, and we could always make ourselves look older when we
do, with makeup and stuff. That's a long time away. For now…" She lifted her
smile to mine. "For now, I think we're gonna be okay, don't you?"

I nodded, gazing into her beautiful eyes. "I think so."

Another giggle of happiness escaped her. Then she pulled my face down slightly
and kissed me, parting my lips romantically and letting her tongue into my
mouth. I accepted it and kissed back, my hands lightly at her waist. I could
feel heat building under my skirt and when she pulled back I smiled at her.

"Leave my window open?" I asked.

I had only asked to be cute, but amazingly an expression of reluctant
reluctance appeared on her pretty face.

"Actually…"

I was already pouting. "What?"

"This is really hard," she said with a deep breath, "but maybe…maybe I should
keep my word, and not take advantage of your mom's hospitality. I'm not worried
about getting caught, but it's only right. It must've been hard for her to even
let me back into the house after everything that happened. I just…"

My fingers were toying with the material at her waist unconsciously, almost
clawing at her, and she trailed off, smirking at the touch. I understood what
she was saying and I knew she was right. We didn't come back to Forks to
pretend to be a decent couple, we came back to actually be a decent couple. At
some point we were going to have to try, but did that have to be tonight?

"But I need your pussy," I told her poutily.

She giggled and pushed my hands away, her restraint so much more powerful than
mine. It always had been, really. Ever since we first met. It was me who let
her do whatever she wanted, who let her dark side flourish. Sometimes it was
almost like I was the one who had corrupted her.

"That's sweet, baby," she said. "But…"

My stomach lurched with disappointment, but I nodded. It was time to grow up
and be a good girlfriend, no matter how many times I had to remind myself.

"I know," I said. "You're right."

Alice smiled and gave me a kiss. "Good girl," she said. Then she smirked.
"Besides, you'll have Lauren to keep you company, won't you?"

The was no hint of passive-aggressiveness in her voice, but I felt bad, anyway.
It was silly to feel bad about cheating in a moment of weakness when murder had
been quite possible too, but I did. "That was a mistake, Alice," I told her.
"I'm not gonna do that again."

Alice smiled and cupped my cheek. "Listen to me, baby," she said. "I'm over all
that jealousy stuff and I know what it's like to be a young vampire. I'll
always be your mate, but you're going to need a special friend or two. If not
Lauren, then someone else. But I know you like Lauren. And in a town like Forks
you don't have a whole heap of choices. Okay?"

It should've thrilled me to have her permission, but I actually felt a little
glum. Because I didn't want Lauren, I wanted Alice. I only wanted Alice. "Will
we ever be able to be monogamous?" I asked.

"Sure," she said, and I could tell she believed it. "One day. We just have to
go slow and avoid unrealistic expectations of each other. But one day, we'll
figure out a way. It's always been my rule to seduce a girl before biting her,
but we can always make new rules. For now, you'll just have to find a way to
balance your newborn urges. Repression is bad, but over-indulgence is worse. So
treat Lauren properly, okay? As properly as you can. Be nice to her. And above
all, don't forget that your sexy ass belongs to me. Is that clear?"

I felt a jolt at her mistress-voice, and it was a struggle not to simply drop
to my knees on the sidewalk. "Yes," I said.

"Good," she said, then opened the back door of the car. "Now get in the car so
I can fuck you one more time. We can't risk you slipping up again, and I saw
the way you were looking at your mom. Creepy, baby."

I giggled as I climbed into the back. "You used to fuck your mom all the time."

"I was adopted," Alice said, climbing in after me and closing the door.
"Completely different."

"Whatever," I said, taking her into my arms. "It's not like I'd ever do it."

Alice giggled, as if she didn't quite believe me, and then she pulled me into a
kiss. We'd already been saying goodbye for a long time, and we wasted no time
getting our hands up our skirts. Her warm thighs pressed against my hand and I
caressed the soft skin there and moaned into her mouth, deepening the kiss. But
then she broke the kiss suddenly, our lips disconnecting with a loud smacking
sound.

"But I really do think we're going to be okay," she said. "Don't you?"

It took me a second to realize what she was saying. The red fog was rolling
through my head, but I managed to nod a couple times, before smiling and
leaning again to her lips.

"Of course we will, Alice," I said. "Everything's going to be perfect."

But before I could kiss her, she placed her hands gently on my chest, holding
me back. She looked into my eyes for a long moment, as if trying to see the
future there, and what she saw must've satisfied her. She smiled and lessened
the pressure against my chest, allowing me to capture her lips once more.

We made love in the backseat, quickly but tenderly, and after we came we spent
another five minutes saying goodbye. It was a real struggle for me to leave
her, since I knew I wouldn't be seeing her later, but eventually I managed.
Alice sat behind the wheel and started the car, and I leaned in through the
window for one last goodbye kiss, and finally I had to watch her go. I watched
the car accelerate down the dark street and turn the corner and then I just
stood there for a moment, already missing her. Now that she was gone, my mind
was clear enough to wonder why she had been so suddenly anxious about our
relationship when we were making out. We had only been back in town two days
and mom had already began to forgive Alice. It seemed like good progress to me.
Was there something else she was worried about?

To be honest, I had no anxiety at all. I had learnt by now that my love for
Alice was absolute and at this point in our relationship I knew in my heart
that nothing would ever come between us. Not mom, not Lauren, not the coven.
Nothing. Alice and I were going to be together forever.

By the time I went back inside, mom had already done the dishes. She didn't ask
me why it had taken so long to say goodbye, but she wouldn't look me in the
eye, and I had a feeling we might've damaged her good opinion a little. But
only a little. Lauren hadn't been downstairs in hours, and I told mom I'd go
upstairs and ask her if she wants anything to eat. Truthfully, I just wanted to
see her. I hadn't seen her since yesterday in the hospital, and I wanted to
apologize again and try and fix things. And, lacking Alice, I guess I'll
probably try and fuck her again.

So I went upstairs and knocked on the door to my old room gently. There was no
reply, so I pushed it open and popped my head in. Lauren was laying on the bed,
on top of the covers, listening to her ipod with her eyes closed. It was very
loud and she obviously hadn't heard me. I stood there watching her for a little
bit, taking in her outfit of jeans and a t-shirt, and then I sat on the edge of
the bed. The tilt of the mattress startled her, and she sat up, yanking the
earplugs out of her ear.

"Hey," I said, smiling at her prettily.

She returned it with a dark glare. "What do you want?"

"Just wondering if you were hungry," I said. "Alice is gone."

She didn't answer, she just sat back against the headboard, drawing her knees
up as if she didn't want her feet to be close to me. As if there was something
about me that was repellent. I let my smile fade away, letting her see that I
really was ashamed—or that I was at least capable of pretending.

"Listen," I said. "Thanks for not telling mom. About…"

"Look, I love you're mom, okay?" she cut in with surprising heat. "She's more
of a mother to me than mine ever was. So if you hurt her…"

She let the threat trail off, and I had to admit I was curious. If it was
anything physical I might have been interested in experimenting, but then I
remembered I was a good girl now and I wasn't into violent sex anymore.

"I won't," I said. "Can we be friends?"

I asked this with a winsome smile, but that might've been a mistake. Her eyes
flickered over my teeth, and her glare melted into something closer to fear.

"What happened to your fangs?" she said, keeping her voice steady. "Your caps?"

"Oh," I said with a chuckle. "They're removable. I don't wear them all the
time"

She looked at me for a long moment. I had the feeling that she didn't believe
me, and when she spoke I knew that she didn't believe me.

"The doctor's said I lost a lot of blood," she said. "Yesterday in the
hospital."

Fuck.

The doctor's hadn't mentioned it to me. Did mom know?

"You hit your head pretty bad," I said, flickering a sympathetic glance at the
wound in her head. "There was blood everywhere."

She shook her head, looking at me half in disgust, half in fear, as if she
actually knew what I was. She hesitated, as if there was something on her mind
she'd been thinking about for a while, and then she said:

"There's marks on my neck."

I froze. There really wasn't much I could say to that. The marks were right
there on her neck, two little puncture marks, so I couldn't very well tell her
she was seeing things. They looked exactly like what they were; a vampire bite.
I knew from experience that the bite stung for a while, and in hindsight it was
pretty stupid to have bitten her in the neck. I should've bitten her ass
instead, where she'd never see it. But necks were just so yummy.

"Did you bite me?" she said, her voice surprisingly steady. It must've been a
difficult question. No one believes in vampires, but when the doctor's tell you
that you've lost a lot of blood after an erotic altercation with a girl who has
pointy teeth, I suppose you have to wonder.

But I just chuckled as if she was being silly. "Why would I bite you?"

My coyness made her frown darkly. "Because you're a fucked up bitch who thinks
she's a vampire?"

Ah. She wasn't considering the possibility that I was a vampire, she was
considering the possibility that I was insane. Both were quite true, but she
had picked the logical one.

"You think I drank your blood?" I asked, making the question sound as
ridiculous as possible.

But she just continued to frown at me intensely. "Did you?"

The blunt way she asked it actually tempted me to tell her. It gave the
impression that maybe she'd be able to handle it. Alice said I would need a
special friend, and if Lauren was willing, if she actually let me…it could be
amazing. Venom pooled in my mouth at the thought.

The silence dragged on and Lauren's glare finally cracked. It must've been hard
for her. No matter how bad ass she was, it couldn't be easy sitting on a bed
with someone you thought was either a vampire or a slutty blood-sucking
lunatic.

"Just tell me," she said, still trying not to show fear. "I mean, what the
fuck?"

Again, I was tempted, very tempted, but…

I couldn't. Lauren wasn't like me. I had enjoyed being corrupted, but Lauren
wouldn't. She hated Alice, she hated freaks, and even if I did managed to
seduce her into darkness, she would never embrace it like I had. Lauren was
better than that and she deserved better. She was a good person.

Not like me.

Not like Alice.

So I shook my head, chuckling as if this was all a silly misunderstanding. "Of
course not, Lauren," I said. "I'm fucked up, but not that fucked up. Your head
bled a lot and the marks are just a couple bug bites or something. I mean, come
on, don't be ridiculous."

She looked at me for a moment more and there was a sheen of tears in her eyes.
She looked like she knew I was lying, and didn't know whether to be
disappointed or angry. But she wanted to believe it, so she did.

"Whatever," she said. "Just don't hurt your mom with your bullshit."

I nodded and glanced at the door. This was where I was supposed to get up and
go, but I didn't want to go. There was going to be no Alice tonight, and I was
already lonely. I didn't want to be alone, so I turned back to Lauren.

"Do you want me to go?" I asked, hoping she'd let me stay.

She glared at me as if I had outright asked for sex. "Why the fuck would you
stay?"

I shrugged a shoulder and let myself smile. "I don't know," I said, and then I
leaned forward a little. "You know, Alice and I have a very unique
relationship. She wouldn't mind if me and you were friends. Even very close
friends."

She looked at me in disgust. "Fuck you."

My smile widened wolfishly and I leaned even closer, causing her to draw back
against the headboard. "That reminds me of school, when you used to tease me,"
I said softly. "Every time I'd say fuck you, you'd say something like 'In your
dreams,' or 'You wish.' Do you remember?"

She frowned. Her heartrate had picked up and I could smell her pheromones.
Despite hating what I did, she still loved me. Despite wondering if I had bit
her and drank her blood, she still had feelings for me.

"Yeah," she said quietly. "I remember."

I smiled and leaned even closer to her mouth, my dark heart flickering at how
she didn't draw away any more. "But that's not what I'm going to say to you," I
said teasingly. "Do you know what I'm going to say to you?"

"What?"

"Do it," I whispered. "Fuck me."

I looked directly into her eyes, watching the emotions in them. I could hear
the jack-rabbit pace of her heart and I heard her swallow, swallow deep in her
throat where her blood flowed so tantalizingly under the skin. She wanted me,
but when her voice came out, it came out cold and full of loathing.

"Get the fuck away from me," she said.

But she didn't move, didn't push me away. I could've kissed her right then.
Kissed her and broken down her resistance and seduced her and fucked her. But I
didn't. The hunger was swirling in my stomach and I wanted so bad to just do
it, but something wouldn't let me. Maybe it was an echo of my humanity or my
feelings for her. The echo of a crush that had lasted through all of
middleschool and highschool. Whatever it was, it made me not want to hurt her.

So I did as she asked. I pulled away, smiling at the brief flicker of
disappointment in her eyes, and climbed off the bed. I opened the bedroom door,
but before I left I turned back.

"Lauren?" I said. "I really am sorry I hurt you."

She didn't reply. She just glared down at her lap and waited for me to go. I
looked at her for a moment, wishing that it all could've been different
somehow, and then I turned and left, closing the door behind me.

—

A month passed in Forks, and for a while it actually looked like everything was
going to be okay. It really did.

Alice and I were closer than ever. We saw each other every day, for as many
hours as possible. She was still staying at the motel, but she came to dinner
often, and it was only two weeks before mom suggested she move in. But Alice
was determined to do this properly, and she said that maybe it was still too
soon. She still had plenty of money from her family and she wanted mom to be as
comfortable as possible with her before they take that step. Mom was impressed,
and countered that it made no sense to waste money on a motel room when she
could stay here perfectly free. In the end, they compromised. Alice was paid up
at the motel till the end of the month, and since there were no refunds, she
said she would stay there until then and in the meantime she would get to know
mom a little better. Two days later they went to get their hair done together
and Alice was well on her way to becoming mom's new BFF.

Lauren had become a little depressed, but that was to be expected. She had
spent six months hoping and dreaming of the day when her girlfriend would
return, and now she was here – with someone else. Her cold hatred began to melt
after a week or so, and sometimes I'd catch her looking at me. She never told
mom about how I had seduced her or about my suspected feeding habits. Sometimes
I wondered why, but I think I knew. She still had feelings for me and didn't
want to believe how terrible I was.

I had refrained from seducing her again, but there were a couple times when I
had to drug her and feed from her. It was despicable behavior, but necessary.
Something had changed since the first time, and I was able to do it very
gently, even respectfully. I'd sneak into her room and whisper her name in the
dark to make sure the drugs were working, and then I'd climb into the bed and
cuddle up with her warm form. I'd place a kiss on her sleeping lips, softly as
if to apologize, and then I'd crawl under the covers and bite the back of her
thigh, where she'd never see it.

But mostly I fed out of town. Alice would drive me to Seattle every few days
where we'd pick up a girl in a bar, put the moves on her, and take her back to
a hotel. Most girls couldn't resist, even straight ones. Alcohol was a
wonderful uninhibitor and vampire-pheromones were even more intoxicating. We
would drug them, feed from them, and leave them tucked into bed with a note
scrawled in red lipstick on the mirror thanking them for a lovely night.

We got jobs, Alice and I, at a local diner. The owner was a friend of mom's,
and she was happy to set me up as a short-order cook and Alice as a waitress.
It had never been a hugely popular place, but business picked up after we
started working there. I'd like to think it was because of my cooking, but I
think it was Alice's smile and cute uniform. It was difficult making it through
each day without destroying every patron who glance at Alice's ass but I
managed. Alice amassed a trove of tips and she offered to pay mom rent, but mom
wouldn't hear of it. She told us to focus on saving for college, and combined
with the college fund mom had been saving for me over the years, it looked like
we'd be able to afford tuition before the beginning of the next school year.

And so, everything was great. Alice and I were behaving ourselves as well as
two vampires can possibly be expected and we were creating a real life with
each other. Everything was going to be perfect, and the only thing that damaged
this feeling was an incident that happened toward the end of the month after
work.

I saw a woman with red hair.

I couldn't be sure if it was Victoria, but she was young and beautiful and
there weren't that many redheads in Forks. She disappeared so quick I couldn't
even be sure if it was just in my head. But something about it gave me a bad
feeling. It wasn't implausible that Alice's sisters would want to visit, but
why stalk? I considered calling Leah and asking if Victoria had left Paris, but
I was too eager to convince myself that I had simply been seeing things.
Besides, Alice still talked to Jane on the phone sometimes, and Jane had never
mentioned anything. They hadn't talked in a while, though, and the last couple
times Alice hadn't answered. The calls had come when we were in the middle of
sex, and Alice didn't like anything to distract her from my pussy.

So I put it out of my mind, deciding it was silly to think Victoria had flown
all the way to Forks with some grand scheme of revenge in her red head.
Victoria would never be happy that Alice left her, but deep down I was pretty
sure she only wanted Alice to be happy. I considered mentioning it to Alice,
but I didn't want to worry her unnecessarily. Alice was the happiest and most
mentally-stable she had been in a long time, and I wanted nothing to interfere
with that.

Her time at the motel was almost over and I was looking forward to the day when
she'd finally move in. Mom already let her spend the night whenever she wanted,
and while Alice didn't want to take advantage, she also didn't want to waste
the hospitality. We'd already moved most of her things into my new room. She
stayed over those last couple nights, and was even making a slow friend of
Lauren. Lauren could hardly stand to be in the same room as her when she first
started coming around, but now she was cool enough to even nod hello at times.

That weekend, a carnival came to Forks. Alice and I made plans to go together,
and it was always something I had dreamed about. On our wedding night, I had
seen that picture of Alice and Jane at a carnival together and it had been one
of the things that showed me how wrong it would've been to die that night. I
remembered the picture very vividly because it was such a cute picture. They
were straddling the same horse on a merry-go-round together, and Jane had a
ball of pink cottoncandy aloft in one hand and her other arm snaked around
Alice's waist, a bright grin on her face. Sometimes I got sad when I thought
about Jane. She had been with Alice longer than anyone else, and I couldn't
imagine how much she must be missing her by now. Six hundred years of
friendship, sisterhood, and casual fucking. I wished we all could've been happy
together, but the separation was for the best. Alice needed a fresh start; she
needed a soulmate.

I was excited about going to the fair with Alice, but the next morning Lauren
asked if I wanted to go with her. She had asked very sullenly over breakfast,
almost grudgingly, as if she didn't want to admit she wanted to spend time with
me. I had fed from her quite a few times by this point, and my venom was
beginning to work on her. She had become preoccupied with me lately, constantly
glancing, making excuses to be in the same room as me. And now she wanted to go
to the fair with me. Honestly, I was tempted. True, I had been excited to go
with Alice, but the fair would be in town for a week, and Lauren wouldn't ask
again if I said no. So I said yes. She pretended not to be excited, but after
breakfast she practically dashed upstairs to get change. She was a sweet thing,
really.

I called Alice to let her know what happened, and I wasn't worried that she'd
be angry about being stood up. We were deep in our façade of a healthy
relationship, and as a healthy girlfriend she was perfectly supportive of me
wanting to spend time with a friend and perfectly happy to reschedule for
tomorrow or the next day or both days. I asked her what she'd be doing instead,
and she said she was going to pack the rest of her things at the motel so that
she'd be ready to move in with me and mom. I told her I couldn't wait for us to
finally live together properly, as humans, and she said she couldn't either.
She had waited a long time for everything to be perfect and now it finally was.
We then blew each other kisses into the phone and said goodbye.

It was a cloudy day, but not cold. Lauren and I strolled the fairgrounds
together, neither of us smiling and not much conversation between us.
Everywhere there were people laughing on rides and children running around. The
fair wasn't usually a place you'd go to with someone you weren't comfortable
having fun with, but here we were. Lauren stared at the ground sullenly as we
walked and there were times when I glanced at her that she looked like she'd
never be happy again.

We passed a cottoncandy stall, and I asked Lauren if she wanted some, but
Lauren didn't want 'none of that sugary shit.' So I bought one for myself and
told her we could share. She was reluctant, but I smiled and gestured with the
candy, and she rolled her eyes and took a pinch.

"So how come you didn't come here with the freak?" she asked.

"I wanted to spend time with you," I said honestly. "We're still friends,
aren't we?"

She snorted, plucking another pinch of cottoncandy. "Friends?"

"Well, aren't we?"

She looked at me, her expression softening sadly. "I guess," she said.

I watched her and popped a bit of candy in my mouth. It was funny, really. Ever
since elementary school I had wanted to be Lauren's friend, and it was only
now, after years of being hated and months of being loved, that I finally
achieved it. "Come on," I said, gesturing with my head to where the ferriswheel
loomed against the darkening clouds. "Let's go on the ferriswheel."

It was the first ride we went on, and it was almost romantic, side by side with
the metal bar over our laps as the wheel rose over the fairgrounds, the apex of
the turn revealing a view that dissolved in a morning mist. Lauren was looking
out over the gray horizon and when she spoke she didn't look at me.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked.

"Sure," I said.

She turned to me. There were tears in her eyes, but I had no idea why. "Is
there any chance you'll ever leave Alice?" she asked. "Or is this just…"

I didn't answer. I didn't have to and she knew it. She sniffed and turned away,
trying not to cry.

"I don't know why I ever loved you," she said in a broken voice. "You're the
worst person I ever met."

My first thought was that it was because of the venom, but I wasn't sure if
that was true. Lauren loved me way before I ever became a vampire, and she
loved me after I left her, and she continued to love me even now, despite how
mercilessly I had crushed her dream. It almost made me smile.

"Maybe now you can understand how I felt about Alice," I said.

She shook her head, still looking away, still trying not to cry. "I never
thought it could happen to me," she said. "To fall in love with someone who was
bad for me. I thought I was stronger than that."

"I love girls who are bad for me," I said. "Even you. It wasn't exactly healthy
to crush on the girl who liked to butcher your self-esteem every day at
school."

She gave a watery chuckle. "Yeah," she said. Then she sniffed and two tears
fell. "Yeah…"

I watched her wipe her face. I felt sorry for her, but I knew she'd be okay.
Lauren was stronger than me, she always had been. That was one of the things I
loved about her. I sighed and looked out over the clouds as the wheel rose on
it's second rotation.

"I was always weak," I said, "but I was lucky, too. But you…" I looked at her.
She looked at me, and I gave her a smile. "You're strong, Lauren, you really
are. But you're unlucky."

She snorted bitterly. "Tell me about it."

"In the end, it's destiny," I said, feeling myself on the verge of a destiny-
soliloquy the way Alice used to do. "None of us have any real choices. Take
you, for instance. Your family despises you, your girlfriend dumped you. The
same girl you still love despite the fact you know she'll only hurt you. None
of that was your choice. You didn't ask for any of it, did you?"

"No," she said.

"No," I echoed. "I wish I could've made you happy, Lauren, I really do. But
Alice is my one and only. Nothing will ever take me away from her."

She looked at me. A gust of wind blew her hair and blew against her tearstained
cheeks and suddenly her face hardened. "Whatever," she said. "We'll see what
happens in a month from now when she dumps your ass like she always does. Then
tell me she's your one and only. There's only one person that really loved you,
Bella, and it wasn't that freak. It was me."

I smiled at her. I was so tempted to take advantage of her, to kiss her and
tell her I loved her and maybe finger her discreetly at the top of the
ferriswheel. But I didn't. She'd get over me one day, and she was going to find
someone else and be happy. Lauren was a great girl. She deserved to be happy.
She didn't deserve something like me.

Lauren was waiting for some kind of reaction, hoping maybe that her outburst
would get us back together, but before I could say anything, my phone rang.
Assuming it was Alice, I fished it out my pocket and answered it right away.
Lauren turned her glare to the desolate skyline and sat silently.

"Hey," I said into the phone. "What's up?"

"It's me," said a voice.

I recognized it right away, and even though I liked the person it belonged to,
I got a bad feeling. The voice was flat, dead, almost expressionless. The voice
of someone with very bad news.

"Leah?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, in that same dull voice. "I tried calling Alice, but she
didn't answer."

"Is something wrong?"

"Yeah," she said, her voice as bleak as the clouds. "Something's wrong."

I didn't ask what. I knew she'd tell me, and I think I knew what it was
already. I remembered the flicker of red hair I had seen a couple days ago and
I knew.

"It's Victoria," Leah said.

My stomach clenched. "What about her?"

"She killed Jane."

I froze. It was like I didn't even understand. Killed Jane. Jane dead. Lauren
was looking at me, worried at my expression, but I didn't notice. I didn't
notice anything. All I could feel was a cold wind that felt like it was passing
though my body itself.

"What?" I said softly.

"It's…fucked up," Leah said. "After you and Alice left, Jane kept trying to get
Victoria to come back to the coven. She went to the hotel everyday. Kept
begging her and begging her. So finally Victoria makes her an offer. She wanted
Jane to be her sub. Same deal as Alice. Total obedience. I didn't want her to
do it, but she was mad at me. I had just turned Tanya, and…"

She trailed off. I didn't hear her sigh, but it was a moment before she went
on.

"So every night she's with Victoria and Rosalie," she said. "At first it was
okay. But then Jane started to change. She spent less and less time with me.
With the coven. She became very devoted to Victoria, same as Alice used to be.
She did anything they said. They told her to cut her hair and dye it black.
Pixie chop, just like Alice."

My stomach lurched. "Oh god," I said.

"She missed Alice as much as they did," Leah went on. "Maybe more. I think she
knew from the beginning what they were going to do to her. She probably even
let them. She didn't want to live without Alice. She used to call Alice
everyday when she left, but Alice hardly ever picked up. She just missed her
too much."

Tears filled my eyes. I couldn't believe it. Jane was dead. Victoria had
dressed her up like Alice, like some fucked up voodoo doll…and killed her.

"What happened?" I asked.

"They tortured and mutilated her," Leah said, her voice still flat and dead.
"Drained her. Just like Victoria always wanted to do to Alice. They're gone
now. No one knows where. I'm in the lobby of the hotel right now. I just found
out. The staff aren't allowed to talk about it, but it happened three days ago.
It wasn't in the news. Hotel's don't like to publicize murders."

Three days. So that red haired woman I saw was probably Victoria. Watching.
Waiting to strike. I shook my head, wiping my tears with my free hand.

"I'm so sorry, Leah."

"Yeah," she said. "Anyway, I wanted to give you a heads up. And say goodbye.
I'm not living without Jane, you know?"

"Leah," I whispered.

"It's alright, you don't have to say anything," she said, and her voice became
stronger, more determined. "Focus on Victoria. She's probably on her way there
right now if she's not there already. Is Alice with you?"

"No," I said, feeling a flash of panic.

"Then get her and get the fuck outta Forks," Leah said. "You hear?"

I nodded into the phone. "Yes."

"Alright, you better go," she said. "See you, babe. Catch you in the next
life."

And then she hung up. I didn't lower the phone, I just held it at my ear and
stared down at my lap. Jane was dead and soon Leah was going to be dead too.
Jane had been the closest thing Alice had had to a real sister and Leah was the
closest thing I had had to a real sister. And now they were gone. Two tears
slid down my cheeks and I whispered into the silent phone:

"Goodbye."

The ferriswheel had reached the top of the turn and there it froze while people
below were let off the ride. Lauren glared at me as I quickly punched in
Alice's number.

"What the fuck was that about?" she demanded.

I had to tell Alice to get out of the motel. I had no idea what Victoria was
planning, but if she had been stalking us for two days, she would know which
room Alice was in and she'd know Alice was alone. Alice had to get out of
there, before it was too—

Someone answered the phone. I waited to hear Alice's cheerful greeting, but it
didn't come. I couldn't even hear breathing on the other end, and for a moment
I felt human again, weak, vulnerable, anxious, my stomach twisted in knots. I
swallowed a lump in my throat and whispered quietly:

"Alice?"

The voice that answered wasn't Alice's. It was quiet, cold, deadly calm.

It was Rosalie's voice.

"You're too late," she said. "Alice is ours."

She hung up.

Dizziness washed over me like a black wind and the world seemed to spin as the
horrible truth circled my soul like an omen and came crashing into me.

They had Alice.

"Who the fuck was it?" Lauren demanded, starting to panic at my expression. "Is
something wrong with your mom? What happened?"

I put the phone in my pocket and blinked away tears. "I gotta go," I said,
wriggling out from underneath the bar over our laps. The wheel was still frozen
at the top, and before I climbed down, I crouched on the edge, leaned, and
placed a kiss on Lauren's lips to say goodbye. I was never going to see her
again. "I'm sorry," I said, and then I turned and began to climb down, scaling
the steel pylons upside down like a lizard or a spider.

A scream went up from the crowd below and people began to point and call out.
When I was halfway down, I dropped the rest of the way, landing with a thud in
a crouching position beside a little girl who stared at me with wide eyes. I
glanced at her, rose with everybody staring, and began to walk away through the
fairgrounds. When I looked back over my shoulder, Lauren was leaning from the
ferriswheel cart, screaming something at me. I couldn't hear any of it and it
didn't matter. I turned and kept walking and soon I was running.

I ran all the way back to the motel, my sneakers slamming on the damp
sidewalks. I didn't know if anyone would be there, but it was the only place I
could think to go. Alice said she was going to pack the rest of her things. So
that she could move in. Tears stung my eyes at the thought. Alice and I were
supposed to move in together. With mom. Everything was going to be perfect. We
were happy, mom was happy. Lauren was going to be happy. Everything had been
almost perfect. And now…

It had began to rain. Thunder cracked somewhere overhead and I was soaked in
seconds. I ran on, splashing through puddles in the sidewalk, and finally I
turned into the motel parking lot.

I stepped under the awning that ran over the room doors and paused with my hand
on the doorknob. What if Alice wasn't here? What if I really was too late? What
if Alice was…

…dead?

If Alice was dead, I'd have to die, too. I knew that without thinking, and
somehow I had already braced myself for it. It came almost as a relief for me,
as if part of me was already resigned. I just hoped she was okay. I couldn't
live without her. I needed her. Alice was everything to me, my heart, my soul,
my—

I turned the doorknob and pushed open the door.

It was dim in the room, no lights on. I stepped inside, the door swinging
closed behind me, and nothing could've prepared me for what I found. Rain was
pattering on the window and on the roof, but I couldn't hear it. There was only
one thing I could hear, and that was the muffled sounds that were being made by
the thing on the bed.

It was Alice.

She was naked and handcuffed to the headboard with her ankles handcuffed to her
wrists, her legs raised and spread lewdly. She was gagged and her face was
streaked with tears. Her eyes rolled wildly to mine in a glassy panic with her
eyelashes all wet, and she began to scream into the gag, a loud keening that I
heard right in my heart. I couldn't tell if she was begging for help or begging
me to run away. I couldn't do either. Victoria was standing by the bed and
Rosalie was kneeling in it, and all I could do was stare at what they had done
to Alice.

Her body was covered in blood and cuts and there was a knife sticking out of
her thigh like a carving instrument. There were two vibrators shoved inside her
gaping pussy and another vibrator sticking out of her ass. She was struggling
ineffectually against the handcuffs, and the only movement she seemed to be
able to manage was a squirming of her hips, as if she enjoyed the vibrators and
wanted more. The room was filled with the sound of her muffled shrieking and
her wriggling body was naked and weeping blood and her holes were clenching on
the toys stuffed inside them and suddenly my fangs were very long in my mouth,
very long and very sharp. The venom was pooling under my tongue and a dark
hunger grew in my stomach as I stared and stared and stared and—

Victoria smiled. She took the knife out of Alice's leg and put the tip in her
mouth. Rosalie leaned to the wound and began licking at the gushing blood. My
dark eyes flickered at the bloody blade between the redhead's lips and the
redhead's smile widened.

"Ah, Miss Swan," she said. "Do join us, we were just getting started."

—

***** Chapter 43 *****
—

Chapter 43:

—

Join us.

That was what she said.

I wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic or making a legitimate offer for me to
join in on the sexual torture they were inflicting on my wife and soulmate, but
it didn't matter. I couldn't speak, couldn't think. My mind had been enveloped
in a red fog of bloodlust and all I could do was stare at what I had walked
into.

Both the blonde and the redhead were naked, and both of them were as glorious
as ever. Victoria's long red hair fell in a crimson cascade about her pale
shoulders and there were smears of blood on her heavy breasts and another smear
on one of her long ivory legs. Rosalie was on the bed, kneeling at the wound in
Alice's thigh. Licking at it daintily like a cat, eyes closed. Fronds of her
blonde hair were stained red with Alice's blood and the mattress underneath
them was red and wet. Alice was moaning into the gag, a sound both erotic and
horrible. The only other sounds were the rain and the low drone of the three
vibrators jammed into Alice's holes.

I didn't know what to do. I truly didn't. Before I had entered the motel room I
had been consumed with dread over Alice's safety, but nothing could've prepared
me for this. I stood there in my dripping clothes with my wet hair hanging,
mouth open, fangs protruding. I had been so worried, so anxious, so desperate
to find her alive and unharmed, and now…

Now here she was. Alive, but hurt, very hurt. Handcuffed to the headboard with
her whole body folded back on her and her ankles handcuffed to her wrists. Her
perfect skin covered with small cuts and bruises. So vulnerable and helpless,
unable to do anything but squirm against the drone of the vibrators inside her
and the woman licking at her pain. This was how I had found her and…what? What
was I supposed to do? Save her?

Needless to say, I was rather shocked at my own lack of protectiveness for my
perfect little soulmate. This was the woman I loved, the woman I cherished and
adored, the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And now here I
was, witness to the most painful and humiliating moment in perhaps her whole
existence, and all I could do was stare as one single thought flew like a
blood-red comet through the molten ether of my mind:

Fuck that's hot.

It was very ungracious of me, very un-soulmatey, but I couldn't help it. It was
really so hot, and it was nothing I hadn't done to her myself in the past, with
knives, candles, sharp words. Alice had always liked this kind of thing, pain,
orgasms, humiliation. Dominance. She liked to be dominated. She loved this kind
of thing, so why is she screaming? Why is her face wet with tears and her eyes
begging for everything to stop? Why—

I swallowed the venom in my mouth and turned to Victoria. She was watching me
thoughtfully, arms folded, tapping the flat of the knife blade against her
shoulder idly. Waiting. For me to do what?

Stop her? Yes, I had to stop her. Alice liked this stuff, she really did, but
only when I did it. She didn't want it from Rosalie and Victoria. They weren't
her soulmates. I was her soulmate. So yes, I needed to stop them. Drive them
away, get rid of them. Then I could be alone with Alice. With Alice all tied up
and helpless and moaning with muffled panic into her gag. She'll like it then,
when it's just me. We were supposed to be a normal couple, but it was okay to
do something special every now and then. Just once. She'll love it.

But first…

I stepped forward, toward Victoria, almost floating. I didn't know what I was
going to do to get rid of her, but it didn't matter. She must've seen my
intentions in my eyes. With a quick movement of her hand she placed the knife
blade between Alice's legs, pressing the sharp edge against the inside of her
thigh. I froze.

"Not so fast, my dear," Victoria said, smiling. "This is her femoral artery and
she's already lost a great deal of blood. If I open this up, the poor girl will
bleed out like a pig in a matter of seconds. And we don't want that, do we? No,
no, no." She smirked, showing pink and blood-stained teeth. "Not so soon, at
any rate."

My chest was heaving in something like panic or exhilaration. I licked my
fangs, staring at where the redhead's hand was poised so near Alice's entrance.
Her entrance that was clogged up with two thick vibrators, both of them purple.
Hips in the air like a little slut, ready for anything to be inserted. Her legs
folded back on top of her and cuffed to her wrists. I couldn't see her face
anymore, but I could hear her moans. I stared at the knife, wishing it was me
holding it there, holding Alice's life in my hands, showing her how completely
she belong to me.

"Please," I said, my voice coming out in a breathless whisper. Please give me
the knife, please let me do it, please— "Please don't hurt her."

I hoped the words weren't as hollow as they felt. Victoria smiled and gave a
chuckle.

"Oh yes, beg," she said. "You always did like to beg, didn't you Miss Swan?"

Alice screamed. It was her loudest scream yet, even muffled under the gag and
the sound of the rain. Loud enough to cause annoyance to flicker over
Victoria's face as she turned to Alice and spanked her ass – hard.

A loud smacking sound rang through the motel room. A vicious slap with the flat
of her palm that visibly caused Alice to quiver and clench her gaping pussy on
the toys stuffed inside her. Alice whimpered and fell silent immediately and a
jolt of something hit me in the chest. Excitement? Panic? Rosalie had raised
her head, like a feeding animal disturbed, and now she lowered it again to
Alice's pussy. Her vagina was torn from the tight fit of the toys and Rosalie
was licking at the blood that welled about the plastic shafts.

"Quiet," Victoria said coldly. Then she turned to me with a smile, all bright
and friendly. "It seems you've arrived none too soon, Miss Swan. Your presence
has livened her up considerably. Before your arrival she was really quite
passive. Why, we could hardly make her squeal could we, Rosalie dear? She
almost seemed to enjoy it. I think she was waiting for the correct audience
before putting her heart into it. She thinks her insistent braying might move
you to a dashing rescue, I think."

I was rooted to the spot, unable to do anything but stare. Victoria was still
holding the knife between Alice's thighs and all it would take is a second. One
quick cut and Alice would be dead within a minute. And I didn't want that,
pretty sure I didn't want that. Alice wouldn't be as fun dead. Not so soon.
Later maybe, when it was just us two. But not—

"Don't," I said, my stomach swirling and my eyes filled with strange tears.
"Please don't hurt her."

Victoria chuckled. "Hurt her? Dear child, look at her. Does she look like she's
in pain to you? No indeed. On the contrary, I'm quite confident she enjoys it.
Don't you, Alice dear?"

Victoria patted her naked bottom affectionately. Alice whimpered, but I could
smell her arousal in the room. Her arousal and her blood. Such a tantalizing
combination. Alice's pussy and ass were clenching on the toys as if they
couldn't help themselves and Victoria smiled.

"Yes, you love it," Victoria told her happily. "You always did, didn't you?
Such a horrid little slut."

Alice's groans were getting louder. She was trying to fight it, but it was no
use. An orgasm was building inside her. Rosalie sensed it and began to
stimulate her clit with her lips and tongue as she pushed the vibrators in
deeper with her hand.

Victoria watched for a moment, smiled, and then she leaned down to Alice's
face, keeping the knife between her legs. "Jane told me before she died of your
human origins," she whispered into her ear. "I confess I wasn't surprised. Once
a whore, always a whore. Isn't that so, Alice?"

Alice was coming. She came with a sob and whimper, as if she was ashamed, her
little hips wriggling helplessly. But there was really nothing to be ashamed
about. She really looked so beautiful like that. I had always loved to watch
Alice's orgasms. It was sad that Victoria had to gloat about Jane and about
Alice being a whore, but Alice liked to be demeaned. It was better if I did it,
though, so…

Victoria rose up to her full height and smiled at me. She looked at me for a
moment and then she sat down on the edge of the bed, leaving the knife where it
was between Alice's thighs. She touched her index finger to a puddle of dark
red blood on the mattress and put the finger in her mouth. She popped it out
and saw me staring at her. She smiled at me, a quick quirk of her lips, and
then she crossed her naked legs as if to get comfy.

"Well," she said. "This is it, I suppose. After all the lies and tantrums and
small dramas, here we are. A conclusion, at last. What do you say, Miss Swan?
Did you ever think it would turn out like this?"

I shook my head slowly. "No."

"Then you are a fool," she said, pleasantly enough. "Almost as big a fool as
our little Alice. I told you before that Alice belongs to me. That I would
rather see her dead then in the arms of another. Did you think I was joking?
Did you think I am as big a fool as either of you?"

Rosalie had abandoned Alice for a moment and snaked her arms around Victoria's
waist from behind, leaving red smears where her hands touched. She kissed
Victoria's shoulder, once, twice, and then she crawled off the bed on her hands
and knees, arranging herself obediently at her mistress's feet. She looked up
for permission and Victoria gave a nod. Rosalie lowered her eyes, unfolded her
mistress's legs, and began to eat her pussy.

Victoria smiled, leaning back to allow her pet better access. Alice was still
in the background, moaning and wriggling helplessly against the vibrators, and
Victoria still held the knife at her thigh.

"No," she said, continuing from where she left off. "I'm no fool, and no
soulmate, either. I'm a simple woman, Miss Swan. I ask only for obedience.
Complete and utter passive devotion. Is that really so much to ask? I think
not. Rosalie manages it quite well, don't you Rosalie?"

Rosalie didn't reply with words, she simply moaned into Victoria's pussy.
Victoria was petting her blonde hair with her free hand and from the movement
of Rosalie's head I could tell that she had her tongue very deep inside her
mistress. My own pussy twitched in response, and a very dark hunger began
stirring in my stomach. Rosalie's naked back was slim and smooth and her ass
was achingly gorgeous. Victoria was watching silently and when I lifted my eyes
I could see that she approved of my lusting for her pet.

"Well," she said with a smile. "What am I to do with you, Miss Swan? Hm? Would
you like to be tied up, right beside your precious soulmate? Such a sacred bond
as the one between you ought to be observed in life and death, ought it not?
Will you let her suffer alone? Will you let her die all by herself, like a
common whore? Hm?"

I shivered and tried not to let on how tempted I was. Becoming a vampire had
awakened a latent dominant streak in me, but that was only with Alice. Here,
now, face to face with the sublime seductiveness of Victoria, I felt small and
weak. Helpless. Watching the beauty of Rosalie's obedience as she knelt and
licked at her mistress's pussy made me want to be obedient, too. To just give
up and let Victoria do whatever she wanted to me, to tie me up beside Alice,
gag me and hurt me and make me scream and come, over and over and over. Until I
died.

"Tempted at all, my dear?" Victoria questioned. "You're arousal is plain in
your face, but I can't tell where it focused. Would you like to share your
lover's fate? You're certainly welcome to, I assure you. I always had a special
place for you in my heart, my dear, and I would take great pleasure urging you
on to your final release. What do you think, Miss Swan? Can I persuade you? It
would be a glorious death, I promise."

I didn't answer. I could feel my face blushing and I could feel how hard my
nipples were. They were poking into the wet cloth of my top, desperate to be
touched. It would've been so easy to give up, to just lift my shirt and drop my
pants and totter forward to take my place at Alice's side, bound and gagged in
black and blissful ecstasy.

Why did I even resist? Victoria was going to do what she wanted, anyway. I
couldn't do anything while she held the knife at Alice's thigh and even if I
did have a chance to act, what could I do? I couldn't beat both of them. I
loved Alice and I didn't want her to die, but maybe it would be best. Maybe it
would be best if we both just died, side by side. It would be best and it would
be so fun, too. So fun to just—

But I didn't answer. Because no matter how clouded my mind became with the red
lust rolling through it, I knew this wasn't real. This wasn't how I really
felt. No matter how insistently the voices whispered in my ear to give in to
the dark desire in Victoria's eyes, I knew that's not what I wanted.

Victoria smirked at my expression, color rising in her cheeks from Rosalie's
tongue work. She moaned and tightened her grip in the blonde's hair. "No?" she
said. "How sad. I suppose you don't love her as much as you claim. If you did,
you'd want to share her passions, all of them, in agony and ecstasy."

"I do love her," I whispered.

Victoria smiled, her climax approaching. She let it come, an exulted look
passing over her face, staring wantonly into my eyes with her mouth open and
fangs gleaming, panting, moaning, and finally sighing. Her eyes closed for a
moment and for a second I had the impulse to run over and rescue Alice somehow,
now while the redhead was distracted and the blonde was on her knees with her
tongue inside her. It might be the best opportunity I was going to have. If I
was quick enough I could disarm her, and then…

And then what? Try to fight the two of them? Even with a knife it would be
senseless, and Alice wouldn't be able to help. Alice could do nothing but lay
there with her legs in the air and whimper into her gag as the vibrators droned
inside her. God, she was hot. I loved how the vibrators poked out of her and
how her little hips squirmed as she was brought closer to another climax. She
really was a little slut.

Victoria opened her eyes and suddenly my chance was gone. The knife was still
between Alice's legs and if I moved it was over. It was over anyway. We were
trapped and there was nothing I could do except wait for whatever Victoria
wanted to do to me.

"You love her," Victoria said, repeating my last words. "Ah, I see. Then
perhaps you'd prefer to attempt some kind of rescue? You may certainly try,
although I don't like your chances," she said, mirroring my own thoughts,
letting me know how helpless it all was. "Alice will be dead moments after you
bare your teeth, and you won't be able to overcome both of us. Rosalie has
quite a bit of pent up aggression, as you could imagine. In fact, why don't we
let her release a little of that tension right now?"

Rosalie looked up at the mention of her name. She had been licking fondly at
her mistress's pussy, but now she awaited orders. Victoria stroked her hair, in
a way that was disturbing similar to how Alice used to do with me, and smiled.

"Good girl, Rosalie," Victoria told her. "Now, why don't you help Miss Swan out
of her wet clothes before the poor dear catches her death of cold?"

I felt an enormous thrill at knowing my clothes would soon be off, but I
managed to refrain from stripping automatically. These could very well be my
final hours, and I might as well go out with dignity – even if I had to fake
it. Alice had always said becoming a vampire would make me evil, but she never
said it would make me horny to be murdered by the first big-boobed psycho to
break into the motel room.

Rosalie rose gracefully to her feet and turned to me. Her gorgeous face was set
in a mask of cold hatred, and she almost looked reluctant to approach me. But
she did, sauntering forward in a slow roll of hips like hungry lioness, tall
and blonde and proud. Her body was as sexy as I remembered it and even though
Alice and I were going to be dead soon, I looked at it in frank lust. Her tits
were the perfect size and perfectly shaped, topped with swollen pink nipples,
and her stomach was flat, and her legs were outrageously long and lovely.

My blatant admiration didn't go unnoticed, but it only seemed to annoy her. Her
icy eyes narrowed slightly, and I thought it was very ungracious of her. After
all, I was about to be dead soon. Surely the woman could find it in her heart
to let me look at her tits?

But apparently my eyes were too offensive to bare, so she circled around behind
me like a predator. Victoria had recrossed her legs, still sitting on the bed
beside Alice, still holding the knife at her thigh. I became nervous with
Rosalie behind me, but I didn't dare turn around. I didn't want to provoke
Victoria, and I didn't want to let Alice out of my vision.

Rosalie's hand appeared on my shoulder and a ripple of excitement shivered
through me at her touch. "Please," I whispered. "Please, just—"

Her other hand clenched in my hair and pulled my head back, cutting off my
words with a grunt. The rough movement made my scalp burn and it made my pussy
burn hotter. For a woman who was little more than a slave, she was actually
quite dominant when the situation called for it.

Rosalie leaned to my ear as if to whisper in it, but all I herd was a faint
hiss. Then she turned to her mistress.

"May I hurt her?" she asked, and I was quite disturbed to find that I hoped the
redhead would say yes.

Victoria smiled at me, as if she could see it in my face, and turned the smile
to Rosalie. "Of course, my love," she said, sending a happy jolt through me.
"Of course you may."

A breath of excitement breathed against my ear. I knew how she felt. My pussy
was in knots of anticipation of what she was going to do to me, but I didn't
have to wait long to find out. She lifted a hand and pressed her fingernail
into my cheek. She didn't have long nails, but long enough to hurt as she began
to apply more pressure. My face winced but I didn't let them see me like it.
Alice was on the bed, hips in the air, and I watched her helplessly as the
fingernail dug into my cheekbone. She then dragged the nail down and opened a
gash in my face, making me moan, but only quietly.

"I'm going to kill you," Rosalie breathed into my ear from behind me, her voice
soft and filled with an unfathomable hatred. "Finally…"

The next thing I felt was her tongue licking the wound on my face.

Well. It was probably wrong to get excited from being clawed by a woman who
really wants to kill you, but I never claimed not to be a freak. But I didn't
give up. Because I was still aware that none of this was what I really wanted.
What I really wanted was a nice life with Alice. To make Alice happy.

It was just difficult to remember that when your mind was reeling under the
exquisite pain of being tongue-kissed in a gash on your cheek.

"Now, now, my love," Victoria chided gently, "don't get carried away. Do you as
your told first, then you may have fun."

Rosalie retracted her tongue. I could almost hear it slither back into her
mouth. She was still standing behind me and slowly she let her hands snake
under my top, lifting it over my bare breasts. Victoria smiled and a bolt of
pure lust hit me in my core as my tits were revealed to her. This was it. They
were going to strip me and fuck me and kill me and there was nothing I could do
but take it and like it.

So, um…why did that excite me so much?

I didn't know, but the way Victoria was looking at my boobs as she licked her
fangs made me quite eager to offer them. Rosalie gripped them firmly, squeezing
them to assert her dominance, and I quivered with want. Alice was still there
on the bed, and even though it was wrong, I couldn't help envying her. She was
still sobbing occasionally, but mostly she had gone passive, waiting for me to
rescue her. It was probably a good thing my restraint was so much weaker than
hers. It would've been so terrible to be scared and horrified right now. It was
better to be horny.

Rosalie lifted the top over my head and let it fall, leaving my upper torso
bare. Victoria watched me, one hand in her lap, the other holding the knife
between Alice's legs.

"Now, Miss Swan," she said, "where were we? Ah, yes, we were deciding your
fate, weren't we? Truthfully, I have no wish to kill you as I wish to kill
Alice. I admit there have been times where I became frustrated at your stubborn
determination to make Alice's hollow dreams come true, but you were just a
girl, you knew no better. I never held a grudge against you. It was Alice who
lied to you. Who tricked you into believing you were something you weren't."

"She didn't."

"She did."

"I love her," I whimpered. "I—"

My breath hitched. Rosalie was kissing the back of my neck, grazing me with her
fangs as she massaged my naked breasts with her hands, and it was very hard to
focus on Victoria's words. I wanted to focus on the blonde behind me and how
wonderful she felt as she touched me like that. But rather than write the woman
a loveletter, I forced my eyes to remain focused on Victoria. Victoria smiled.

"You love her," she repeated. "You'll have to forgive me, Miss Swan, but I'm
not sure if I believe you. You don't sound too positive, honestly. In fact, you
sound absolutely uncertain. What's wrong, my dear? Does the sight of your
soulmate being tortured and raped by her former mistress excite you? My, my,
how indecent. What a terrible soulmate you are."

I couldn't deny it, even if I had the power of speech. Rosalie had just lowered
her hands to the zip in my jeans and unzipped them. I looked at Alice, my knees
weak with excitement, and my pussy soaked in my panties. Yes, it did turn me
on. Nothing had ever turned me on like this in my life.

I stared at Alice as Rosalie lowered my pants and panties. I felt her touch my
ass gently, and my skin was so sensitive I almost came at the touch. Why was I
resisting? I was obviously a hopeless slut. Even if I did resist, what did it
prove? It wouldn't change what I'm feeling. It wouldn't change what I am.

So, why? Alice gave a muffled whimper, as if she could hear what I was
thinking. As if she was thinking it to. Did she want to give in as badly as I
did? Poor Alice. She looked so pathetic, with her hips in the air like that,
her holes all spread wide and clenching on the toys wedged inside her. With her
body folded up like that, I couldn't even see her face. Couldn't even recognize
her. She could've been any slut laying there with her legs in the air.

Victoria followed my gaze to Alice's squirming hips and smiled at her fondly.
"Yes," Victoria said, as if agreeing with some unspoken question. "She looks
quite pretty in this position, doesn't she?" With her free hand she patted
Alice's bottom. "It's seems oddly natural for her, doesn't it? As if she were
born for nothing else. I knew she was a whore the moment I met her. I knew all
she'd ever amount to is a pretty little fuck-thing."

I heard Alice sob out a long moan into her gag. Victoria's words or touch had
pushed her over the edge into another orgasm, and the sob sounded almost like a
laugh, hopeless, hysteric, horny. It tore at my heart, but there was nothing I
could do. Rosalie had come around to my front and bobbed down at my feet. She
was unlacing my boots. Victoria smirked as Alice's sobbing rose louder into a
scream, her pussy and ass spasmming on the vibrators, a trickle of blood
welling from her torn vagina.

"Oh look, she's coming again," Victoria said, mopping up the blood with a
fingertip and licking it. "What a vile slut you are, Alice. You simply can't
control yourself, can you?"

The sight of my wife and soulmate being treated like that should've filled me
with rage or despair or even just a little distress. But truthfully I was
having a little trouble with control myself, and the sight was practically
making me come, too.

It didn't help that I was now totally naked and a gorgeous blonde was kneeling
at my feet, her face only a small distance away from my swollen pussy. I'd
lifted my feet obediently, one then the other, as she pulled off my boots and
socks and removed my pants and underwear. When it was all gone I even torn my
eyes away from Alice to look down at the blonde head which was level with my
pelvis. My chest was heaving, unevenly as I tried and failed to keep my
breathing under control, and part of me was praying that Victoria would order
Rosalie to eat me out. I wanted it so badly, needed it. I was going to rescue
Alice, of course—somehow, someway—but would it be okay to come first? Just
once?

Rosalie went to rise after only glancing at my pussy, and my heart began to
sink. But then Victoria noticed and intervened.

"Oh, don't rise, my love," she said, gently as if Rosalie was making a harmless
mistake. "Miss Swan believes she's here to rescue her soulmate, that she's some
kind of knight in shining armor. She needs to be taught she's nothing but a
whore. Just like our Alice."

Oh god.

"Don't," I said, not meaning it, totally not meaning it.

Victoria smiled. "Show Miss Swan how much of a whore she is, my love," she
said. "Your tongue will hurt as much as anything else you could inflict on
her."

The worst thing was that she was right. But that was okay. I could still rescue
Alice. In fact, maybe if I pretend to be cooperative, maybe that would make
them lower their guard. Yes. All I'd have to do is pretend. Then I could rescue
Alice.

Rosalie sank back down to her knees without looking back at her mistress. Her
eyes lifted to mine for just a moment and I was stunned at what I saw in them.
Anger, and perhaps a flicker of disobedience. She hated me so much she didn't
want to go down on me. It had never stopped before, and it probably wouldn't
stop her now, but it made a dark thrill pass through me. I smiled down at her
and her pretty face darkened even further. Then she lowered her eyes to my
pussy, like an obedient little slave, and pressed her mouth to my lower lips in
a lavish tongue kiss.

The breath rushed out of me silently and I fought to keep from falling over.
Her tongue wriggled up inside me and a jolt of sheer electricity struck my
stomach and traveled up my spine, as if I had swallowed a lightning bolt. My
head rolled. A strangled moan escaped me and somehow I managed to pull my eyes
back down to the woman at my feet. Her face and mouth were angled up the fork
of my legs and her eyes were staring at mine with dead blue resentment.

"Please," I whimpered, loving it and hating it at the same time. "You don't
have to do this. You don't have to listen to her. You love Alice, I know you
do, you don't—"

Victoria stabbed Alice's ass. It was just a quick movement of the knife, an
inch deep poke in the rump, before putting the knife back to her thigh. Alice
screamed. Or at least she tried to scream. It was muffled in the gag and it
sounded more like a squeal, a high pitched note of pain and terror that began
in her throat. The kind of sound you'd get from kicking a piglet. It was louder
than the rain and it trailed off in a string of broken sobs and whoops, her
body quivering and blood running from the wound in her ass.

The scream silenced me, ending my attempt to turn Rosalie. Victoria's
expression had morphed into a glare, the first signs of anger I had seen from
her. But why did she react so harshly? Why didn't she simply laugh off my
attempt for being as feeble as it really was? Was she worried about Rosalie's
loyalty? Was it possible that deep down Rosalie loved Alice more than her
mistress?

"Quiet," Victoria said. "Alice has betrayed us too many times, so don't think
you can play on our hearts. Not now. Now it is too late. Now it is time to
fulfill Alice's true destiny. And yours too, perhaps."

Now she regained her smile and her composure. She settled back slightly, legs
crossed, and watched her slave go down on me. Rosalie's tongue was still inside
me and my whole body was shaking from how good it felt and how hard I was
trying to hold it all back. I stared across the room at the redhead, a touch of
willful defiance coming into my eyes, and the redhead smirked.

"Yes," she said, as if to agree with me. "It's a shame it had to come to this,
isn't it? Everything could've been so simple, so perfect. But then Alice had to
get it into her little head that you are her soulmate. Such an odd notion. What
is it about you that fascinates her so? Hm? It can't be beauty and obedience
alone. She had those in abundance with Rosalie. Do you know what I think?"

I groaned. Rosalie had retracted her tongue and now she was licking at the nub
of my clit, causing dark waves of lust to wash over me with each lick. Victoria
smiled brightly.

"Hm?" she said. "Do you know what I think, Miss Swan? I'll tell you what I
think." She leaned forward slightly to imply an air of confidentiality. "Why, I
think it's love after all," she said. Then she giggled gaily, as if this was
some revelation that she'd been scared to say out loud. "I do," she said. "I
honestly do. I think she loves you. For centuries I've watched Alice flounder
through all kinds of relationships, but you, Miss Swan…" She nodded and
narrowed her eyes at me, not in anger but in something like approval or
admiration. "She's never felt for anyone the way she feels for you. She loves
you. Simple and true."

I whimpered. It was great to finally hear Victoria admit that Alice truly did
love me, that her feelings for me weren't some fucked up delusion she'd crafted
for herself. But somehow I didn't think that meant she was ready to let us live
and be happy together. Victoria smiled, watching me, watching me shake and
struggle against the inevitable orgasm, and then she sighed.

"Alas," she said, turning her eyes thoughtfully to Alice's wriggling form. "It
ends here. There was a time when I entertained the notion of letting her go.
Letting her be happy. But frankly I don't believe she deserves to be happy. I
think she deserves everything I'm going to do to her. Not just for her
treatment of me, but of you, as well. And Rosalie. And all her family. Think of
Jane, the poor girl. How distraught she was when Alice left her. She tried to
be brave, she really did. But in the end she realized the truth. Alice never
loved her. Never had done, never will do. That was the truth that was revealed
to her at last and so she chose to die. At my hand."

Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I was getting close, so close. "You
sick bitch," I groaned, so close to the edge.

The insult didn't ruffle the redhead. She only smiled thoughtfully. "Yes," she
said. "But what then would you call your darling Alice? If she had returned her
calls more often, Jane might still be alive. But no, no, no. Alice was
determined to abandon us all as decisively as she could. How many hearts has
she broken throughout the ages? Hm? Hundreds? Thousands? Oh, I'm sure in her
mind it was her own heart that was broken, but we know that's not the truth,
don't we? Alice has no heart. You can see it in her treatment of Jane, of
Rosalie. Of women who have loved her so selflessly for so long. Companions that
she herself created with promises of love and everlasting happiness. That was
what she promised us and those were the promises she broke."

I gasped. Rosalie's fingers were digging into my hips and she was sucking on my
clit. Victoria smiled.

"But I, Miss Swan…I do not break promises. I promised Alice that I would never
let her go, and so here I am. To reclaim what is mine and to end the infection
of her love once and for all."

"Please," I whimpered. "You don't have to hurt her. She's just… She's just
Alice. She didn't…She didn't mean to…"

Victoria laughed at my pleas. Not meanly, but only as if they amused her. "Miss
Swan, please," she said. "There's no need for you to be so upset. Come, I will
offer one last chance for you to join me. You cannot argue that this is what
Alice deserves. She is a whore that deserves a whore's death. That much is
undisputable. But you, Miss Swan…you're still but a girl. You're not beyond
saving. It is still possible for you to break free from this, this…curse."

"Please," I gasped. It was all I could say. My breath was panting and the
orgasm was building deep in the pit of my stomach, swirling there and gathering
like a black and evil storm.

"Think carefully, Miss Swan," Victoria said, and nodded at Alice. "Look," she
urged. "Look at her. Look at how pathetic she is, coming like a slut every two
minutes. Is this your soulmate? Is this the woman to which you have pledged
your heart? Your soul?" Victoria slapped her ass a few times, making her
jiggle. "Look at her. Look at how disgusting she is."

I squeezed shut my eyes, trying with all my might to hold it back.

I failed.

The orgasm exploded in my hips and I broke down into sobs, sobbing and gasping
and panting as the climax mercilessly tore through my resistance. It was
probably the hardest I'd ever come.

When I opened my eyes, Victoria was tweaking Alice's clit with her fingers,
pinching with one hand while holding the knife at her thigh with the other.
Alice's moans were mingling with my gasps and after a few seconds she came,
too. Victoria leaned and placed an affectionate kiss beside the twin shafts
protruding from her bleeding vagina.

"A whore," she said. "That's all she is."

"Stop it," I said, groaning against the soft kisses that the blonde was placing
onto my pussy, her cold eyes staring up at me. "Please."

Victoria smiled and ignored me. "Rosalie, dear, I think you've serviced Miss
Swan enough," she said. "Rise now and restrain her while I reposition our
little Alice."

Rosalie rose and moved behind me, hooking her arms around mine and holding me
tight against her. Ebbing waves of orgasm were washing over me and her front
felt nice against my back.

Once I was restrained, Victoria finally removed the knife from between Alice's
legs. I made a weak movement to come to her aid, to break free of the blondes
clutches and somehow save my soulmate. But the blonde held me tight and I knew
it was pointless.

"It's time to bring this affair to a proper climax," Victoria said, plucking
the vibrators out of Alice's holes, one by one, and tossing them on the carpet.
They were smeared with blood and they looked like primitive stabbing
instruments. Victoria took a key from the nightstand and unlocked the handcuffs
around Alice's ankles. Alice's legs flopped down, one then the other, limp and
pale like broken lilystems. "I hate to rush things," Victoria went on, "but the
anticipation is killing me. Figuratively, of course. With Alice, the killing
part will be a tad more literal. Mighten it, Alice?"

Victoria removed Alice's gag. Alice sucked in a large gulp of air and said:

"Baby… Baby…"

The sound of her ragged voice caused me to struggle even harder against my
blonde captor, wanting to rush over to Alice, to hold her and kiss and protect
her. But I couldn't move and Alice didn't get a chance to say anything else.
Victoria slapped her, a quick smack on the cheek. Alice was already breathless
and she silenced instantly.

"Shut up," Victoria said. "You will not speak unless I tell you to do so, do
you understand? Or I will cut your throat."

She pressed the knife to Alice's neck in order to prove her point and Alice
whimpered trying to strain away. I watched, a cold rage beginning to well in
the pit of my stomach.

"Don't touch her," I said.

Victoria looked up in surprise—and delight. Smiling, she rose from the bed and
approached me, rolling her hips with her back perfectly erect and her breasts
large and full on her chest.

Behind her Alice squirmed on the bed, tugging weakly at the handcuffs that
bound her wrists to the headboard. She was laying flat on her back now, and I
could see the damage done to her torso, the cuts and lacerations, stab wounds
in her perfect little breasts. So much blood. Alice stopped tugging on the
handcuffs and looked at me. Her eyes were wet and red and lost. So pretty. The
dark hunger began to swirl in my stomach, but the glare I turned onto Victoria
was cold and full of hate.

"Leave her alone," I said, even though it seemed the redhead had turned her
focus onto me. "Don't hurt her anymore."

Victoria smiled and lifted the knife, placing the sharp tip just under my chin.
She then scraped it down over my throat and chest, trailing it around the curve
of one of my breasts. "Miss Swan," she said softly. "I don't like it when
people tell me what to do."

The tip of the knife paused at my stomach and suddenly she stabbed it in. Not
deep, but enough to make me scream. Then she twisted the knife inside the
wound, making me scream harder. Warm blood began to run down my groin and down
my leg. I thrashed against the blonde, but she held me tight, and all I did was
wriggle the knife in deeper and howl louder.

Alice panicked on the bed. "Vicky don't!" she screamed, yanking on the
handcuffs. "Please!"

Victoria spun around, instantly infuriated. She had said she didn't like being
told what to do, and even though Alice said please, it still seemed to upset
her. She stalked over to the bed and clubbed Alice with her first. A vicious
hammer-blow that hit her right in the stomach, and then another, and another, a
blunt clubbing all over her naked body.

Alice grunted and curled up, but that didn't stop Victoria. She mounted into
the bed and straddled her former slave's waist, forcing her onto her back.
Alice didn't protest, knowing it was hopeless. Victoria punched her in the
face. Alice took it silently, with only maybe a small groan. Victoria punched
her again. And again.

I stood there frozen. Aside from the rain, the only sound in the motel room was
the sickening thud of Victoria's fist into Alice's face, and each hard smacking
sound made my heart jump in excitement. I couldn't help it. It was so hot. I
would've loved to do that to Alice. Victoria was right, in some ways. She did
deserve it. Not death, of course, but a bit of punishment. She would even like
it. But it should be me doing it. Alice would be more comfortable. But it was
hot like this, too, and for a second all I could do was stare as the redhead
dominated my soulmate in the rawest way imaginable. Perched on her naked body,
naked herself, and simply punching her face over and over. And over.

It was beautiful—but wrong, very wrong. I had to stop it. None of this was
right, Alice didn't want it like this. Even Rosalie seemed to feel it. I
couldn't see her face with her standing behind me, but her grip on my arms
slackened, as if she might be slightly shocked or appalled. I tried to break
free quickly, but her grip tightened as soon as I moved. So I swallowed the
venom in my mouth, my heart racing in exhilaration, and dared to tell Victoria
what to do. At the very least it might draw her rage onto me. Which would be
kind of hot, too.

"Stop it," I said. "Please."

Surprisingly, Victoria stopped. She straightened up on top of her small victim
and flung back her hair, gazing down at her in triumph with her naked chest
heaving.

Alice rolled her bloody face away from that gaze and turned her lost eyes to
mine. Her button nose was broken and flowing blood. Her lip was split, her
mouth all bloody. A laceration against her cheek, leaking blood. Both eyes
already black, the sclera bloodshot and opaque red. Her whole face shiny with
blood and tears. Whimpering softly into the sound of the rain. My stomach
lurched with the longing to run over and lick her pretty face clean. Why did
Victoria have to be such a bitch? Why couldn't we just do this for fun?

Victoria sighed and dismounted, licking her bloody fingers and knuckles.
"Well," she said, turning to me and sauntering forward once more. "I appear to
have lost my temper. As I said, I dislike it when people tell me what to do."

I glared at her, but she could probably tell I was getting horny again. I
squirmed against the blonde, but mostly for the sake of principle. Even if I
did managed to get free, I'm not sure if I would've grabbed the redhead's
throat or her tits.

Victoria had the knife in her hand and she lifted it to one of my breasts,
grazing the tip across the underside of the globe, smiling, watching. She
touched the cold steel to my erect nipple and poked at the stiff nub gently,
not hard enough to break the skin, but hard enough to make me gasp with
anticipation.

"Now," she said softly. "Where were we? So many interruptions. Ah, yes. I
believe I was making you an offer, wasn't I Miss Swan? An offer of friendship.
To put aside our past animosities and jealousies and join together to give
Alice what she deserves. To pay her back for all her lies and her broken
promises. Time for you to grow up, Miss Swan. To become your own woman. No
longer will you be forced into the vessel of Alice's dreams. From now you will
be allowed to have your own dreams. What do you say?"

I didn't answer. Her voice was low and seductive, and I was trying to figure
out why what she was saying was wrong, but I couldn't. The fog in my head was
so thick and so red, and the knife was so sharp and so cold. It was poking into
my tummy and—

I groaned as the tip pierced my skin, my pussy tightened as cold waves of lust
rolled over me. I looked down. Thick red blood welled onto the flat of the
blade and dripped to the floor as she pushed it in deeper and deeper. She had
thrust it all the way into my stomach, and why not? As a vampire I wouldn't die
from the ruptured organ, and the blood loss, while dangerous, wouldn't kill me,
either. Not for a few hours at least. So why not?

A smile trembled on my lips as blood dripped from my pussy and dripped down my
leg. It was so awesome. She was stabbing me and I loved it. My chest shook with
an uneven breath. I lifted my eyes back to hers. Her red lips curved into a
smile and she twisted the knife gently, making me moan. But I didn't break eye
contact. Her fangs were poking her full bottom lip and I had the aching urge to
lean into the blade even further and kiss her, to let the blade inside me the
whole way, to just give up and give her what she wanted.

But that wasn't what she wanted, was it? She didn't want to kill me. She wanted
to be my friend. To put aside our hatred. But did I ever really hate her? I
didn't think I did. And now? My eyes flickered over her blood-smeared breasts
and up over her face again. God, she was so beautiful. So dominant and
irresistible. Like a cruel and gorgeous goddess. A fiery haired demon of
desire. Maybe I was wrong to pick Alice. Maybe it was Victoria who…

"Well, Miss Swan?" she asked gently, twisting the knife a little more. "I'm
sure you can forgive me for stabbing you just now. I wouldn't do it at all if I
wasn't positive you liked it. Hm? Speak up, Miss Swan. I can't hear you."

"Please," I whispered, and I honestly had no idea what I was begging for.
"Please, just…"

"Hm? Please, what? What is it you'd like, Miss Swan? Ah, I know. You'd like a
kiss, wouldn't you?"

My chest flared and I moaned at how bad I would love a kiss and how wrong that
was. So wrong, so wrong, but oh god—

Victoria giggled, a girlish sound that set my heart on fire, and she left the
knife inside me as she smiled. "Very well, Miss Swan," she said. "Open your
mouth. And don't pout, Rosalie dear, you know I'm only toying with the girl."

I couldn't see the blonde pouting, but I had noticed her stiffen behind me. Her
breasts were pressing into my back, and they were so warm and soft. And in
front of me was Victoria with a knife jabbed into my tummy. I was trapped. I
had no choice.

Over the redhead's shoulder I could see Alice laying in the bed, handcuffed to
the headboard, all bloody and battered. She gave me a sad look, but I really
had no choice. I didn't want to do it, I really didn't. But my heart was racing
so hard and my pussy was so horny, and I really had no choice. So I turned my
glazed and smoky eyes to the redhead and opened my mouth obediently.

Smiling, she leaned forward, leaving the knife inside me, and let her long fat
tongue slither into my mouth. I moaned and tongued her back, not because I
wanted to, but because I had no choice. I had to please her or else she'd kill
me. Or kill Alice. And that was bad, so I had to please her. My stomach was
lurching with pain and hunger and the dark red fog was rolling through my mind,
smothering me, oppressing me, overwhelming me. I moaned again, softly,
helplessly, and lifted a hand to one of her breasts. I didn't even realize that
the blonde must've let me go, perhaps in disbelief that her mistress was
allowing this right in front of her.

I was lost in the kiss and the touch of her breast. It was so soft and large,
and I stroked it tenderly as my tongue moved against hers, caressing it,
letting it know that I wasn't resisting. That it was over for me. That she me
had beaten. Her breast felt so amazing in my hand and I could feel the shape of
her fangs under my tongue. I wanted those fangs to bite me. To rip me up and
destroy me. I didn't care any more. I was done. I had tried to resist, I really
did, but—

"Baby…"

A soft voice. Just loud enough to be heard over the rain, to pierce the fog. I
broke away from the kiss for some reason. I didn't even know why. Rosalie
snatched back my arm before I could try anything, but that hadn't even occurred
to me. Tears were streaming from my eyes, but I had no idea why I was crying,
either.

Victoria smiled at the submission in my face and turned to Alice patiently. "I
told you not to speak, Alice," she chided. "Why do you insist on being such a
bad girl? Do want me to punish you? Hm? Is that what you want?"

Alice didn't answer. She just looked at her former mistress petulantly. It was
sad, really. She was laying there, handcuffed, her pretty body all mutilated.
And now she was going to die soon. What must such helplessness feel like? Did
it turn her on?

Victoria turned back to me and withdrew the knife from my midsection. She
licked the blood from it, one side then the other, and smiled.

"The time has come, Miss Swan. Let us find out how deep her lies have permeated
into your heart. Come, take this knife," she said, offering it to me handle
first. "You are Alice's one true love, therefore it is only fitting for her
destiny to be fulfilled at your hand. Your hand and mine. And Rosalie's.
Together, the three of us."

I stared down at the knife, my heart thumping in my chest, my head swaying with
temptation. Dear god don't let this be happening. She was offering me a knife
and she wanted me to kill Alice. She wanted me to…

I went to take the knife, but Rosalie wouldn't let me go. I turned my face
slightly and I noticed she was staring at her mistress in disbelief. "You
can't," she whispered, her voice right beside my ear. "You can't let her…"

Victoria looked at her, still offering me the knife. "I can't?" she echoed in a
politely cold voice. "Are you telling me what to do, Rosalie?"

Rosalie didn't reply. I could almost feel her heart thumping against my back
and I almost felt sorry for her. She didn't want me to kill Alice. She wanted
to kill Alice herself. And kill me. She really wanted to kill me. I couldn't
even blame her. Alice and I had really hurt her. She hesitated for quite a few
seconds, but finally her grip on me began to loosen. Then she let go.

I was looking down at the knife. There was blood in the black grooves of the
handle and blood on the blade. Venom was welling in my mouth and I didn't know
what to do. I was actually swaying on the spot, consumed with conflicting
lusts. I didn't want to kill Alice. That's not what we wanted anymore. We
wanted to be together forever, just us, just me and her. Happily ever after.
But if it was me that did it, then maybe it would be okay. And we would
probably only fuck up our life together, anyway. Maybe this was for the best.
Maybe…

"Go ahead, Miss Swan," Victoria said, gesturing with the knife gently, like
trying to feed a small animal. "No need to be shy. You and I are sisters now.
Now more than ever."

I swallowed the venom in my mouth, and I thought it would be okay if I took the
knife. It didn't mean I was going to use it on Alice. But it would be good to
have it in my hand. It would help me rescue her. Yes. That's it.

I reached out slowly with a trembling hand and closed my fingers around the
sticky handle. I lifted my eyes. Rosalie was watching me with dark disapproval,
as if the affair was being spoilt by my involvement. I could see in her eyes
that she'd had her heart set on tying me up beside Alice and torturing me so
Alice could see. And that would've been nice, but this was better. I had the
knife now and I could—

—rescue Alice. I just needed to wait till the right moment, that's all. To
catch them off-guard.

Victoria smiled and gestured toward the bed where Alice lay, broken, bloody,
awaiting the end. Her death. Here, in this place. At my hand. Such hopeless
black sadness in her wet red eyes. Didn't she know I was going to save her?
Victoria touched my shoulder and urged me forward gently.

"Come, my dear," she said. "This is her destiny."

Destiny.

Yes.

Mine, too.

The three of us approached the bed, me tottering forward like a child with the
knife in both hands. I climbed into the bed without being told, my head and
heart rolling with lust, and I lowered my face and licked at a smear of blood
on her leg. I licked very gently, to show her that I wasn't going to harm her,
that I was here to save her. It wasn't because her blood made me crazy. It
really wasn't. I licked again, near her kneecap, and she gave a little whimper.
I kissed her skin, tasting the blood on my lips, and finally she just opened
her legs.

She had been trying to keep them closed, but she couldn't do it. That was okay.
Alice was a slut, but that's what I liked about her, what I loved about her,
what I utterly freaking adored about her. And she wanted it so much, yes she
did. So I gave it to her. I kissed the insides of her soft thighs, soft kisses,
longing kisses, listening to her whimper. I licked at the shallow slice over
her femoral artery that the redhead had made while holding the knife there. But
I had the knife now, and I wasn't going to cut Alice. No, no, no. Not yet. Not
unless she wanted it.

So I licked at her instead, dragging my tongue across the swollen and bloody
cleft of her pussy, lapping up her moistening arousal. I knew the redhead and
blonde were watching, but I didn't care. Alice was my soulmate, and I loved
her, and oh fuck her blood was yummy. I had reopened the tear in her vagina
with my tongue and I moaned as her hot wet blood seeped into my mouth. I licked
at her some more and she was getting very wet, the slutty little thing, very
wet. I licked her deeper, lapping up her blood and arousal, my head reeling at
the sinfully delicious taste. Her hips were squirming against my mouth, and I
kept licking and licking, until she came.

The climax was accompanied by a little cry and I had to smile. Alice made such
pretty sounds when she orgasmed. I continued licking at her bloody mound,
lapping up the last of her blood and arousal. I really loved her so much. Alice
was the most perfect girl ever.

"Baby," I heard her whisper. "Baby…"

I lifted my face, my eyes lidded and my mouth open to accommodate the length of
my fangs. Alice looked at me silently, still handcuffed so helplessly to the
headboard, and slowly I smiled and crawled up between her legs, placing little
kisses on the wounds in her stomach and on her chest, sucking briefly at one of
her nipples.

Somehow, without realizing, I had positioned my pussy over her pubic bone and I
was rubbing against it. It felt very nice, so I kept going, grinding my clit
and lower lips against her groin, rougher and rougher until her pussy started
bleeding again. The stab wound in my stomach was still bleeding as well, and
our blood was pooling and flowing all over our pussies, our blood and our
arousal all mingled and providing wonderful lubrication for me to rub faster
and faster.

Victoria was watching with a smile and I let her watch. It didn't matter. She
thought this meant that I had given up, that I was joining them in their
torture of Alice. But it was different with me, because Alice loved me. She
wanted me to do it. She loved it.

Rosalie was watching darkly as I humped on the woman she loved and I gave her
just a small smirk. It was mean to gloat, but I was very horny and I couldn't
help it.

Finally I turned my eyes down to Alice, shoving my hips against her so hard
that her perky little breasts were jiggling. She really looked so helpless, all
tied up and taking it like a good little whore. Because she loved me. It was
okay if it was me. But why wasn't she smiling? I could see a second orgasm
building in her face, but she wouldn't smile. She only lay there, panting,
staring up at my eyes with her pale and beaten face. I started grinding even
harder, trying to make her smile, but all I did was bump her head into the
headboard with each thrust. So I went harder and faster, wanting her to smile,
and finally I felt myself climaxing. It came very quickly, sneaking up inside
my pussy and exploding like a firecracker.

My eyes had closed as the orgasm shivered through me deliciously and when I
opened my eyes I saw that Alice hadn't come yet. I should've waited so that we
could come together, but that was okay. I kept grinding on her, mashing my
pussy against her clit, and finally she let herself come. She closed her eyes,
both of them black and swollen, and gasped at the ceiling as her battered
little body shivered and climaxed.

There. Good girl.

I smiled down at her, licking my fangs as my breath huffed in and out. Alice's
breath was huffing in and out, too, and when she opened her eyes I leaned down
and kissed her split lip, to show her I loved her. The taste of her blood
tingled in my head and I tried to deepen the kiss, but she wouldn't open her
mouth. The knife was still in my hand and I decided to put it at her throat.
Her mouth opened at the touch of cold steel on her skin, but that was probably
just coincidence. It wasn't like I was threatening her. Alice loved it when I
kissed her, so that's what I did, kissing her deeply as each of us ebbed away
in fading orgasm, showing her how much I loved her with my tongue.

Finally I broke the kiss and raised up, my breath shuddering from excitement. I
was kneeling between her open legs, and just for fun, I lowered the knife from
her throat and poked the tip into her chest, dimpling the skin just over her
heart. I would never kill her, of course, but if I did, I'd like to do it like
this. Stab her in her heart. Right in her whorish little heart.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, as if I was actually going to kill her, my voice
barely audible over the rain. "I'm so sorry, Alice."

And I was, I really was – but I was only acting, I swear I was only acting.
Victoria and Rosalie were standing either side of the bed, watching, and I had
to pretend I was going to do it or else they'd take the knife away from me. And
then I'd never be able to save her. And I was going to save her in a minute, I
really was. But my hand was shaking and there was something so fascinating
about how the knife was poking her skin, knowing that I was so close to
piercing her heart, that all it would take is one quick thrust and—

Alice shook her head slowly. She had been watching my blood-dazed expression,
and now she blinked up at me as a smile finally graced her bloody face. A small
smile, beaten, tired, hopeless.

"It's okay, baby," she whispered. "Go ahead. I don't mind if it's you."

My heart flared darkly and the breath whined in my throat. I knew it would be
okay. I knew she'd want it if it was me, because I was special. I was her
soulmate. It was different if it was me, because—

But no, no, that's not right. I'm only pretending, aren't I? I'm not really
going to do it. I'm going to save her in a minute, I really am. I just have to
get my hand steady first. For some reason it wouldn't stop trembling. Maybe if
I insert the knife a little bit it'll be easier to calm down. Maybe after I see
the blood…

"Alice," I said, tears dripping from my chin and spattering on her chest. "I…
I…"

But she only shook her head once more, still smiling that same beaten smile.
"It's okay, baby," she repeated. "Vicky's right. I deserve it. I treated you
all so horribly. I tried so hard, but…"

It was true, she did have a habit of hurting people. She hurt her family, she
hurt mom and Lauren, she hurt me. She had broken my heart so badly, so many
times. But I forgave her. I loved her.

Victoria must've seen the indecision in my face, because she finally broke her
watchful silence. "Do you see, Miss Swan?" she urged. "The girl is broken. She
knows it. Isn't that so, Alice? Tell your soulmate how broken you are."

Alice closed her eyes, perfectly passive.

"I'm broken, baby," she said. "I'm sorry."

"No," I whimpered, blinking as more tears blurred my vision.

"I wanted to be perfect for you," Alice whispered, opening her eyes and smiling
up at me, the knife poking into her chest. "I really did. I fucked it up. I'm
so sorry. And you Rosalie," she said, turning the smile to Rosalie. I hadn't
noticed, but the blonde was crying too, silent tears that rolled down her
smooth cheeks and dripped from her chin. "I'm sorry," Alice told her. "I really
loved you. I did. I thought you were my One. But I was wrong. I didn't mean to
lie to you. And Vicky," she said, turning to her former mistress. The redhead
watched her dispassionately, arms folded under her breasts. "I loved you, too.
You don't believe me, but I did." A small smile quirked her split lip. "No one
ever fucked me the way you did."

Victoria snorted, unmoved. "There you have it, Miss Swan," she said. "She is
broken beyond repair and all that remains is to put the little bitch out of her
misery."

I was holding the knife with both hands, my naked breasts bunched between my
arms as I leaned over my lover's heart. The knife quivered and punctured her
skin, just a little. A thick line of blood ran between her breasts. The sight
of it froze me and made me crave more, made me want to thrust the knife in and
pull it out and bask in the spray of blood that would spurt from her chest like
a fountain.

But I couldn't. Because this wasn't right, and…it wasn't right.

"I can't," I whispered.

"You must," Victoria hissed.

I whimpered. The knife trembled and I whimpered again, straining with all my
might to simply be still. My whole body was quivering, as if there were some
demon inside me eager to burst free from my flesh itself, and I could hardly
see from the tears that were filling and dripping from my eyes.

"I can't," I gasped. "I love her."

Alice's eyes were closed and she shook her head gently. "It's okay, baby," she
said softly, laying there like a sacrifice. "You'll be okay without me. You'll
meet someone and you'll fall in love and she'll treat you better than I ever
could. Just promise me you'll be happy, okay? That's all I want."

Victoria snorted harshly, staring down at Alice's passive form in disgust.
"Really, Alice?" she said sarcastically. "Could you be any more trite? She's
lying to you, Miss Swan. Do you truly believe she wants you to live without
her? To be happy? Nonsense. She's only trying to persuade you that her love is
more pure than what it is in the hope that you'll be more reluctant to end it.
Will you let her deceive you like this? Are you really so weak?"

Alice ignored her and opened her eyes to look at me. One last time.

"I love you, baby," she told me with a smile. "Never forget, okay?"

And that hurt, it did, but—

"Enough of this charade," Victoria spat. "End her, Miss Swan. Free yourself.
She is nothing but a—"

I stabbed her in the throat. Victoria, not Alice. My arm simply flicked out
like a striking snake and suddenly her words were chopped off as the blade slid
silently into the soft flesh of her neck, leaving no sound in the motel room
but the sound of the steadily falling rain. I didn't know what had triggered
it, but I think I just didn't want to hear her call Alice a whore anymore.

Victoria stumbled backwards, clutching at the knife handle protruding from her
neck. Rosalie stared in silent shock. Alice was breathless and the sight seemed
to excite her. Victoria pulled the knife out of her neck and blood squirted out
of the wound. But the knife appeared to have missed her carotid artery, and the
red jet died out after the initial burst. The blood ran and dribbled down her
front, soaking half her chest and one of her breasts, and the sight was so
exhilarating that I had to smile. Victoria had glanced down at herself and then
she snarled at me in a vicious display of fangs and anger that only made me
horny.

The red fog was rolling in once more, but this time it was focused where it
should be, so I didn't resist it. I let it envelop me completely, allowing my
mind to roll away in a dark red tide of blood lust, and suddenly I leapt from
the bed and launched myself at Victoria.

My body crashed into hers and together we tumbled to the ground, hissing and
clawing at each other like cats. At first I had the advantage of being on top,
but I got distracted by the blood gushing from her neck, and as soon as I saw
an opening I attacked it with my fangs, trying to rip open the wound with my
teeth. The taste of her blood hit me in my core, but it was only a taste. The
redhead gouged my back with her fingernails, leaving three long gashes in my
skin, while her other hand clenched in my hair. The pain sent me into a rage,
but before I could tear open her throat she wrenched my head away and flipped
me over. I hissed at her, baring my fangs. She was between my legs and I
wrapped them around her tightly as I grabbed her hair and tried to bite her
face. She flipped me again, trying to thrash me off, but my newborn rage was
too strong for her. Triumph throbbed in my chest as I wrenched back her head,
exposing her throat once more, and—

Rosalie grabbed my hair from behind and ripped me off her mistress. I struggled
and thrashed mindlessly, focused solely on getting my teeth into the redhead's
throat, but Rosalie hissed in my ear and sank her fangs into my neck. I made a
strange moan of despair and continued to struggle, but the blonde brought me
down to the ground and wrapped her long legs around my waist to keep me still
as she sucked at my neck fiercely, draining my blood.

Victoria rose from the floor, so flustered and unbalanced that she almost
tripped again, and cast about wildly for the knife. She saw it on the carpet
and grabbed it up, tossing her hair back like a wild horse. Then she squatted
at where I was securely wrapped in the arms and legs of her slave and began
stabbing my stomach repeatedly.

"No!" Alice screamed. "Vicky, stop! Leave her alone!"

Victoria ignored her. I had already lost a lot of blood from the first stab
wound in my stomach and I had already began to fade from the blonde's bite. The
vicious stabbing the redhead was inflicting on my midsection only made me groan
weakly.

"You stupid bitch," Victoria hissed, grabbing my hair and wrenching me away
from her slave. Rosalie let me loose and I came away limply. "Very well,"
Victoria said, dragging me across the floor by the hair toward the bed. "Very
well. I thought you could be saved, but you can't. You're as hopeless as she
is. Both of you, nothing but mindless whores. Come here. I'm going to kill you
first so she can watch. Not quite as poetic, but it'll have to do."

"Vicky, please," Alice moaned. "It's not her you want. Please, just…"

Victoria threw me onto the bed and Alice opened her legs automatically, as if
she thought I might go down on her quickly. She was so cute, my Alice. Victoria
mounted up behind me and wrenched back my head, putting the knife to my throat.

"I'm going to kill you right before your soulmate's eyes," she hissed in my
ear. "In her final moments she will see what her love has done to you. She will
realize how pathetic her dreams really are. Rosalie," she barked suddenly. The
blonde was standing beside the bed, uncertain, almost demure. Victoria offered
her knife, and her voice went suddenly sweet. "Would you like the pleasure, my
dear? I know how you loathe Miss Swan."

Rosalie climbed into the bed and took the knife, but she still gave the
impression of hesitating. Dimly, I wondered why Victoria was so eager to make
other people do her dirty work. Given how completely psycho she was, she
couldn't possibly be afraid of murder. Yet she had tried to make me kill Alice,
and now she was making Rosalie kill me. I guess it made sense. Victoria was all
about corruption. It wasn't enough for her to do evil. She had to make others
do it, too.

But would Rosalie do it?

The blonde had seemed eager before, when she was gouging my face with her
fingernail. It was only her mistress's command that had stopped her. And now
here I was, helpless, drained, head wrenched back with my throat taut and
exposed. She even had her mistress's permission.

So why was she hesitating?

Rosalie looked at me coldly and then turned slowly to look at Alice. Alice met
her gaze with eyes that were wide and pleading and flowing with tears, her
wrists still handcuffed to the headboard.

"Rosalie, don't," she said, her voice trembling. "Please. Do whatever you want
to me. I deserve it. But please. Don't hurt Bella. Hurt me instead."

"She's about to, Alice," Victoria told her. "Come, my love," she said to
Rosalie, wrenching my head back even more. "Destroy this impudent bitch."

I whimpered, my scalp burning from Victoria's grip in my hair. Rosalie put the
knife to my throat, just under my carotid. My face was so stretched back that I
couldn't even blink away my tears, but I managed to focus my vision on Alice. I
needed to see her, just one last time. My Alice. Her own tears were streaming,
and her face was all wet and bloody. Naked, tied up, helpless, soon to be
tortured and bled like a pig because I couldn't save her. I had tried so hard
to be the woman she needed, but I failed. I wanted to love her, keep her, and
make all her dreams come true. But I failed.

"I love you, Alice," I whimpered. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, baby," she blubbered. "I love you. I love you."

We were crying uncontrollably and our whispers were soon overlapping, a wet
yammering of how much we loved each other and how sorry we were, not daring to
pause, wanting to spend our last moments together ensuring that we each knew we
loved each other.

Rosalie knelt there watching us. The blade was still at my throat.

"Do it, Rosalie," Victoria commanded.

Rosalie hesitated. Tears were welling from her own eyes and her face was set in
a mask of tragedy. "They love each other," she whispered in a broken voice.
"They really do."

"Rosalie," Victoria barked.

Rosalie looked at her, her face crumpling. Victoria stared at her.

"You disobey me?" she asked in disbelief.

The knife fell away from my throat. Alice and I stopped whispering and followed
the blade with our wet eyes. Rosalie held it in both hands and looked at it.
Then she tossed it aside.

"I'm sorry, Vicky," she said, almost whimpering. "I can't fight the way I feel.
I love her. I can't… I can't do this…"

Victoria's grip in my hair loosened. I scrabbled out from under her and crawled
to Alice's side, wrapping her arms around her chained form. Victoria was
staring at Rosalie. Tears had welled in her eyes but none of them fell.

"You said," she whispered. "You said you…"

Rosalie had obviously claimed at some point that she loved Victoria more than
Alice. And now Victoria was seeing the truth. Rosalie's spite and jealousy had
led her to believe that she hated Alice, but now, when it mattered, she had
remembered her true feelings.

She loved Alice.

And she wanted her to be happy.

Victoria's face crumpled at this unexpected betrayal. But only for a second.
Victoria wasn't the kind of woman who willingly showed weakness and she was too
proud to accept this latest rejection. When she looked up at her blonde slave
it was clear that there would be no forgiveness. Her face had darkened into an
expression of supreme hate, and suddenly, without warning, she shrieked and
flew at Rosalie like a banshee.

"You whore!" she screamed as they tumbled and twisted on the ground. "You
filthy fucking whore!"

Rosalie wasn't even trying to fight back, she only appeared to be feebly
defending herself, in the hope perhaps that her mistress would calm down.
Victoria slashed across her face with her fingernails, opening two gashes
across the blonde's eye. Rosalie spun away wildly, grasping at her face in
silence. Victoria screamed and grabbed two handfuls of her blonde hair and
began bashing her face into the floor, screaming with each thud.

I didn't know what I should do. I didn't want to leave Alice's side, but it was
clear that Rosalie had given up and Victoria was going to kill her if I didn't
intervene. In addition to all this, it was very arousing to watch the naked
redhead repeatedly slam the blonde's pretty head in the floor. But since I
probably wouldn't be able to protect Alice by myself it was probably best to
help Rosalie and take out Victoria. I was still weak from the blood loss, but I
had to do something.

So I leapt off the bed and tackled Victoria to the ground. The redhead roared
with rage, clawing and kicking at me like some crazed she-demon, and I tried
not to get too horny at how her naked body squirmed and thrashed underneath me.
Lives were at stake in this altercation and I didn't want to mess things up by
trying to makeout with her in the middle of it.

Rosalie raised up and collapsed again before finally recovering. Victoria
hissed at me, snapping at my face like a wolf, and finally Rosalie came to my
aid, seizing one of Victoria's wrists and pinning it down while I pinned the
other. Victoria roared in rage and tried to buck us off, but we each had a knee
buried in her midsection, so all she really did was cause her boobs to jiggle
like jello.

"Kill her!" Alice screamed from the bed. "Kill that fucking bitch! Kill her!"

I was so shocked I almost abandoned my grip.

Kill her?

Well, yes, that would be the logical thing to do when attacked by a naked and
psychotic redhead. But what happened to the battered and broken Alice who was
ready to die? The passive and remorseful little Alice who 'deserved' it?

Maybe she hadn't been so broken, after all. The rage and hysteria in her voice
was very real, and I think I realized then that it had all been an act.
Victoria had been right. Alice's sobs and cries and whimpers. All her talk
about deserving this and how she had loved Rosalie and how no one had fucked
her better than Victoria. Her passive acceptance to the blade so long as it was
my hand that held it. Her wish that I should continue to live without her and
be happy. All of it carefully recited in order to soften us up and incite this
very moment.

What a minx.

Ah well. I could never be mad at Alice, and you couldn't blame her for acting
when her life was on the line. I'm sure she hadn't been lying to me, anyway.
All the stuff she said to me was probably true.

"Whores!" Victoria howled. "All of you!"

The rest of her words were lost in a strangled gurgle of rage and she thrashed
even harder. She got a hand free and went for my throat, but I managed to pin
it down again. Now I was getting pissed. I had always liked Victoria, and under
other circumstances, I would've been quite proud to do anything she wanted. But
that was not what Alice wanted, and what Alice wanted was what mattered. It was
time to end this, like the redhead had said. Only it wasn't Alice's death that
would end it.

It was hers.

I glanced once at Rosalie to check if she was with me. Her head was split just
over the hairline and blood had ran all down into her face. But her face was
grim and her icy blue eyes were resigned. As if she had known all along that
with would come to this. Victoria thrashed again, howling, and together Rosalie
and I swooped down and bit into her neck.

A loud screech filled the motel room and outside thunder rumbled. It was
raining even harder and I could hear Alice shouting from the bed.

"Kill that fucking slut!" she screamed. "Kill her!"

I sucked hard at the wound in the redhead's neck, but Alice's words only caused
her to writhe more furiously. Even with the two of us biting her, she didn't
seem to be getting weaker. In fact, she seemed to be getting stronger. The
taste of her blood had revitalized me a little, but I was still weaker than
Rosalie, and it was my grip that the redhead broke first. As soon as her hand
was free she grabbed my hair and wrenched me away from her neck, twisting away
from Rosalie at the same time. I tried to grab her again, but she lashed out
with her claws and swiped my face, opening a gash across my cheek.

Victoria staggered to her feet and both Rosalie and I lurched after her, but it
was too late. The redhead charged at the window and smashed through it,
shattering the glass and pulling down the thick dusty drapes.

The sound of the rain was suddenly much louder and outside there was a storm
gathering. Victoria landed sprawled on the sidewalk and scrabbled on her hands
and knees in the broken glass before lurching upright. I had run to the window
and leaned out. A gust of wind spattered my face and chest with rain, and
Victoria had took off down the street. Stormclouds brooded overhead and a car
was coming from the other direction. When the driver saw the redhead staggering
barefoot across the tarmac, naked and covered from cuts with the broken glass,
the horn shrieked and the car swerved off the road and crashed into a
shopfront. Victoria stumbled into an alley and disappeared, but I knew we
hadn't seen the last of her.

I turned back to the room. The bed was covered with blood and with the window
broken anybody could look in and see the three chicks who had been casually
mutilating each other all afternoon. We had to get out of here. Rosalie was
unlocking Alice's handcuffs, silently and with a certain sadness, as if she
already regretted abandoning her mistress. Alice wasn't even looking at her.
She was looking at me, her eyes filled with tears, and as soon as she was free
she crawled to the edge of the bed and threw her arms around me.

"I'm sorry, baby," she sobbed, holding me tight. "I'm so sorry. I knew you'd
come for me. I knew you'd save me. I love you, baby. I love you so much."

I hugged her back and smiled. I had a feeling she was getting a little carried
away in her role of damsel in distress, but that was okay. It felt nice. I was
a pretty pathetic knight in shining armor, but at least the dragon was driven
away, if not quite slain.

Rosalie was looking at the back of Alice's head, her eyes hurt and wounded and
filled with the truth she'd tried to deny for so long. Alice was never going to
love her the way she wanted and yet she herself would never stop loving Alice.
She lowered her eyes for a moment and when she lifted them to mine they went
colder.

"Victoria knows where you live," she said. "She'll try to hurt you any way she
can."

—

***** Chapter 44 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
—

Chapter 44:

—

Within minutes we had thrown on some clothes and wiped down our faces with a
wet towel. The gash in my face was throbbing painfully, but I knew it would
heal in an hour or so. Alice's face had already began to heal, and I smiled at
her as I dabbed at her wounds with the towel. Her lip and her eyebrow was split
and there was a laceration on her forehead, but the swelling had gone down. I
knew I should've been afraid for mom, scared terrified of what Victoria would
do if she found her first, but instead I was just happy Alice was okay. All I
had to do was keep her close. As long as I kept her close, everything would be
okay.

When we emerged in to the rain outside there were a couple people standing
under the awning, looking down the street at the wrecked car. An ambulance was
coming from the other direction. Rosalie stalked ahead of us in the parking lot
and got into a red car. She had started the engine before Alice and I even
climbed in. She backed out of the lot, circled around the motel, and
accelerated down the street, fast but not fast enough to be pulled over.

"Victoria's on foot," she said, without much expression. "So we'll probably
beat her there."

Alice and I were in the back, Alice cuddled up under my arm. She hadn't spoken
much since being untied. She was quiet and uncertain, almost catatonic. I'm not
sure if she was capable of being traumatized, but I knew how difficult it must
be for her to face this latest failure. Every time we tried to create a perfect
relationship, it backfired.

I hated the redhead for what she did. But at least her naked exile from the
motel room and the hearts of Alice and Rosalie were something of a consolation.
She was now officially alone, and even if we fled town and never saw her again,
it was nice to know that the last image I saw of her was her naked ass running
down the street in the rain. I hoped it was humiliating for her. A fitting
fate, for a whore like her. Too bad we didn't shave her head, too, like they
would've done in the dark ages.

"What then?" I asked Rosalie, since I had no idea. I was still a kid,
basically, so I felt I should leave the plan to the adults.

Rosalie gestured with her chin in the rearview mirror. "Ask her," she said,
referring to Alice. I didn't want to bother Alice while she was so down, but
Alice sat up and gave a little shrug.

"I don't know," she said. "The motel was paid in cash and I signed the register
with a scrawl, so that should give us a head start. You're mom's at work, but
what about Lauren?"

"I left her at the fair," I said. "I don't know if she went home."

I also wondered if she had called mom after I disappeared, but maybe not. After
all, what would she say? Oh, Missus Swan, I just thought you should know that
your daughter had a distressing phone call and jumped off a ferris wheel. But
she was okay enough to walk away so I think she might be a vampire, you know
because of the fangs and how sexy she is these days.

"What are we going to do?" I asked, a niggling anxiety finally beginning to
form in the pit of my stomach. Shamefully, my concern wasn't really for mom and
Lauren. I was more worried about putting Alice in danger again. As much as I'd
prefer to be a bad-ass, my immediate impulse was to flee as fast as we could,
like right now. Just spin the car around and leave it all behind us. I could
always call mom and Lauren, give them a heads up. Something like; hey, there's
a psycho with huge boobs out to get you because I didn't help her torture and
mutilate my wife. You might wanna move to china.

"Should I call mom?" I said. "And tell her get home as quick as she can? I
mean, we have to get out of here, right? We can't leave them behind. Maybe we
should call and tell them to meet us somewhere, so we don't have to go home at
all. We wouldn't get to pack, but do we really need to? I mean, we have money,
right? Alice?"

Alice had an abstract look on her face, as if she wasn't really listening. Then
she shook her head slowly and a fey smile formed on her face.

"I'm not leaving without Vicky, baby," she said. "I need to kill her. I need to
know she'll never touch us again."

I shot a glance at Rosalie's face in the rearview. Her eyes fell for a moment,
but she didn't otherwise react. I felt bad for her. She had truly given up. On
everything.

I turned to Alice. "What do we do, then?" I asked.

Alice sighed and cuddled up under my arm once more. "Well, to start with we'll
go home and start packing your things. You and I can't stay in Forks, that's
for sure. But don't call your mom yet. It's better if she's not home. Let's
wait for Vicky to show up, and when she does…"

Alice trailed off and I felt the beginnings of hunger swirl in my stomach. I
still would've preferred to take mom and Lauren and just split. It was the
safer thing to do. But I could understand the impulse to kill the redhead, as
well. I never thought the day would come when I would actually be excited about
the idea of murdering someone, but this wouldn't be murder. It would be
revenge. Sweet revenge. Revenge for hurting Alice. For making her cry. Making
her scream. Revenge to make sure she would never hurt Alice again.

But was it worth the risk? The redhead would be weak from being bitten by
Rosalie and I, but she could've fed from any stranger in the meantime. It
didn't seem like the redhead's style, to feed from someone she hadn't carefully
selected from a nightclub, but it was possible. Plus, she was a cunning little
slut. What if she somehow outmaneuvered us and ended up hurting Alice even
more? Neither me or Alice had a very good record against Victoria, and I'm not
sure how much help we could count on from Rosalie.

I looked at Rosalie. She was staring out the rain spattered windshield and the
only sound in the car was the rattle on the roof and the swish of the
windshield wipers. I felt really bad for her, knowing that her happiness was
permanently and forever ruined. Alice would never love her and Victoria would
never forgive her. Despite the times she had assisted her mistress in my rape
and humiliation, I wasn't able to take pleasure in her pain.

"What about you, Rosalie?" I asked.

"What about me," she said, and kept driving.

—

It wasn't a long drive, but quiet and tense. Finally we pulled up on the
sidewalk outside the house. There were no bodies impaled on spikes in the front
yard, so I assumed we were in time to protect my loved ones and possibly lay
trap for the redhead.

The wind had picked up and sometimes I could see frayed strands of lightning
followed by a distant thunder rolling through the dark afternoon. It was going
to be a pretty bad storm. We were soaked by the time we got inside, and I found
Lauren in the living room. She had been pacing back and forth, biting a nail.
She hadn't heard the front door and she jumped when she saw me come in.

"Jesus," she said, "where the fuck were you? How the fuck did you—?"

Her words were cut off as Alice and Rosalie trailed in behind me. Her face went
pale and then she noticed the gouges on Rosalie's face and Alice's split lip
and forehead.

"What the fuck are they doing here?" she said, almost breathlessly. She turned
back to me and she seemed to notice the claw mark in my face for the first
time. "What the fuck happened to you?"

"I'll check the house," Rosalie said, and disappeared up the stairs.

"Hey, what the fuck—"

"Lauren, Lauren," I said, catching her hands and forcing her to look at me.
"Lauren, are you okay?"

She snatched her hands away. "Of course I'm not fucking okay!" she yelled at
me. "I just watched you jump off a ferris wheel, and…" She trailed off,
helplessly, and said: "What the fuck is going on, Bella?"

I glanced back at Alice. She was standing by the door with an abashed
expression, slightly apart from the group like a girl on timeout. Rosalie came
back down the stairs, sauntering in her sultry way, and gave Alice a nod to say
all was clear. I turned back to Lauren.

"I can't explain," I said. "Alice and I have to leave town."

Lauren shook her head, tears filling her eyes. She drew in a breath that was
almost a gasp. "I knew it," she said, trying not to sob. "I knew she was going
to do this to you."

It was overwhelming her. The confusion, the crushed dreams, the complete
unfairness of everything I'd done to her. She tore her tear-filled eyes away
from me and they landed on Alice. The sight of Alice's pretty and damaged face
seem to push her over the edge. A strangled growl escaped her and suddenly she
attacked her.

"You bitch!" she screamed. "You fucking bitch! You ruined her! You fucking
ruined her!"

Alice didn't fight back, she simply turned aside and cowered a little, letting
Lauren's fist pummel her clumsily. I grabbed Lauren around the waist and pulled
her away. Lauren thrashed and kicked, sobbing with rage.

"It was supposed to be me!" she wailed. "She was supposed to love me!"

Finally she broke down. I turned her away from Alice and held her, letting her
sob into my shoulder, rocking her gently. Rosalie rolled her eyes and looked at
the staircase. Alice watched me sadly. Lauren's accusation had cut her almost
as deeply as anything Victoria had done to her. It had cut me, as well, because
I didn't know if it was true.

Am I ruined?

Am I even capable of making Alice happy?

I didn't know. Less then an hour ago I had held a knife to her heart with the
desperate desire to force it in. I had come around in the end and saved her
with the blonde's help, but was that enough? Will I ever be the woman Alice
needs me to be? I hoped so. Alice's happiness was the most important thing in
the world to me. More than mom, more than Lauren. More than me. Alice had
suffered so much as a human and even as a vampire she had found no peace, only
heartbreak and twisted sisters. So now it was up to me.

It was up to me to make her happy.

Alice took a timid step forward. Lauren's sobbing had tapered off, but she
seemed too ashamed of her crying to lift her face from my shoulder. Alice had
always liked Lauren despite Lauren meanness—much like how I had always liked
Rosalie—and in a gentle voice, she said:

"You can come with us, if you want."

Lauren pushed me away suddenly, as if I disgusted her, and wiped her eyes with
her hands. "I don't want to go anywhere with you," she said.

Alice looked at me. I looked at Lauren.

"You might not have a choice," I said.

She sniffed and glared at me. "What?"

I didn't know if now was the best time to explain, but Victoria could show up
any second, and we had to be prepared. Even if we did take Victoria out, that
would still leave us with the problem of a dead body and a murder
investigation. Either way, Alice and I could never stay in Forks. And if we
couldn't track down Victoria, then neither could mom or Lauren.

"One of Alice's sisters," I said. "She's psycho. She's trying to kill Alice."

Lauren looked down, a visible wave of dizziness washing over her. "Oh god."

"She's trying to kill me too," I added. "And she may hurt you and mom."

"Shouldn't we call the police?" Lauren demanded.

"We did, we did," I lied, trying to soothe her. "They're on their way."

"Oh god," she repeated, her face crumpling all over again.

Rosalie was leaning against the doorjamb, staring down at the carpet without
much interest. Alice watched Lauren anxiously. I would've loved some help, from
either of them, but I guess there was nothing they could do. Rosalie just flat
didn't care, and anything Alice could say would only upset Lauren further.

So I stepped forward, hesitating to touch her. She had lowered her face into
her hands and she was crying quietly. "It's okay, Lauren," I said.
"Everything's going to be alright, I promise."

"No, it's not," she sobbed. "It's never going to be okay. Not as long as you're
with her."

The words made a hollow pit open in the pit of my stomach. Rosalie looked over,
as if maybe she agreed, and Alice looked down at the floor. But I wouldn't let
myself believe it. One day, Alice and I were going to be perfectly happy. It
might not be tomorrow or the day after, but one day – when it was just me and
her. Nobody else.

"Lauren?" I said, reaching for her shoulder. "Lauren, please. Just—"

She slapped my hand away as soon as it touched her. "Don't touch me," she
hissed. "Don't even touch me."

"Lauren—"

But she didn't want to hear it. I didn't even know what I would've said. She
spun away from me and dashed past Alice, averting her face as if to avoid some
horrible sight, and then she stormed up the stairs. I heard the bedroom door
slam shut and two seconds later there was a crack of thunder.

I looked at Alice. Rosalie was still leaning against the doorframe. The rain
continued to hammer on the roof and for a while none of us spoke. I turned to
look at the sidetable to my left. It was where mom kept her collection of
framed photographs. Most of them were of me, from all stages of my life. School
photos from elementary and highschool. A picture of me as a toddler, taking my
first steps. A picture of me and mom blowing out the candles together on a
birthday cake.

The latest picture was the prom photo of me and Alice. Me in white, her in
black. Smiling. Almost like two regular girls. After that, there were no more
pictures. And there never would be. Glassed away in each frame, every stage of
my life had been chronicled for my mother's loving memory, but from now on,
there would be no more memories. It would be as if the girl with dark hair had
simply died.

Alice came over beside me and looked down at the pictures for a moment. I
turned to her and smiled, to show her I didn't care about any of that, that I
only cared about her. She smiled back, but sadly, and wrapped an arm around my
waist.

"We'd better pack your stuff," she said softly. "So we'll be ready when we have
to go."

I thought about that for a second and then I shook my head. "There's nothing to
pack," I said, and there wasn't. Clothes could be replaced and I didn't want to
bring any memories with me. All I wanted was Alice.

"Then we wait," she said with a sigh. "Come on, let's clean up a little."

She took my hand and tugged me toward the bathroom. Rosalie followed.

We used the bathroom downstairs, taking turns in the shower to wash away the
caked blood under our clothes. Crowding at mirror as we dabbed at the wounds in
faces and dried our hair with towels, passing around the same hairbrush. Like
three roommates getting ready for dates. We even touched up our faces with a
bit of makeup, perhaps because there was really nothing better to do. Our time
might've been better spent posting guards at the front and back door, but it
was important too look pretty, too. Alice and Rosalie's eyes kept catching in
the mirror, and finally Alice capped the lipstick and turned to me.

"Baby?" she said. "Do you think Rosalie and I could have a moment alone?"

I felt a flicker of jealousy—and I hated to let Alice out of my sight—but I
nodded. Rosalie deserved some final moments with Alice before Alice left her
forever, and even if Alice didn't love her, Rosalie was still her sister, and
still an important part of her life. Rosalie gave me a look, almost as if to
apologize, and I smiled to let her know it was okay.

"I'll go check on Lauren," I said, and turned to leave. At the door I turned
back. They were already wrapped in a kiss, no words required, and I closed the
door very softly.

Before I went upstairs, I did a quick sweep of the ground floor. I checked the
front door and back door, both locked. I peeked into the kitchen, but no naked
redhead jumped out of the fridge with a machete in her mouth, so I figured it
was all clear.

I went upstairs, the steps creaking under my boots. I checked the rooms as I
went down the corridor, bathroom, spare room, mom's room. All the windows
closed, rain rattling against the panes. I stood in mom's room for a moment,
hand on the light switch. I was staring at the window, and it occurred to me
that if someone was going to gain access to the house through an upstairs
window, it would have to be the window beside the drainpipe. The window Alice
used to climb through. The window in my bedroom.

The bedroom that was now Lauren's bedroom.

I hesitated with my hand on the lightswitch, a cold wave passing over me. I
flipped off the light and went back into the corridor. Lauren's room was next.
I paused with my hand on the doorknob. I had a bad feeling, but that was
probably just paranoia. Lauren would've screamed if something had happened, and
Victoria had no interest in Lauren. Victoria wanted Alice. But the bad feeling
didn't go away, and as I pushed open the door, I think I knew what I'd find.

The first thing I noticed was that the window was open. Rain had gusted in and
wet the carpet. The next thing I saw was Victoria. She was on the bed with
Lauren, both of them naked. Lauren was laying back between Victoria's legs and
Victoria was caressing Lauren's lower lips gently with her hand, whispering in
her ear. Victoria smiled when she saw me and wrapped her legs around Lauren's
waist securely, as if to keep her there.

"Ah Miss Swan," Victoria said. "I was just getting acquainted with your little
friend here. What was you're name again, dear? Speak up."

Lauren was shaking from fear and disgust and her icy blue eyes were wide in
panic. Her hands were tied behind her back. She was gagged with a torn piece of
shirt and something stuffed in her mouth, and it was impossible for her to
answer Victoria's question. With all the rain outside it would've been
impossible to hear her scream, either.

"Dear me, I've forgotten," Victoria said. "No matter. I'm sure it was a very
pretty name. A pretty name for a pretty girl."

Victoria had whispered all this into Lauren's ear and now she kissed her,
softly, tenderly, making Lauren shiver even more violently. I took a step
forward, but Victoria suddenly took a grip on Lauren's chin and bent her neck
dangerously, making her moan in terror.

"Don't move, Miss Swan," Victoria whispered. "Or I will snap the little girl's
neck."

Lauren screamed into the gag, her eyes pouring tears and crying at me to help.
I looked into them for a moment, feeling a very deep sadness, and a gust of
wind blew a sheet of rain into the room. I went over to the window and closed
it. Then I turned back to the bed. Victoria smiled and began petting Lauren's
hair. Lauren kept screaming and Victoria leaned to her ear.

"Shh, shh, shh, my dear," she whispered, stroking her silky hair gently. "It'll
all be over soon. Don't be afraid." Victoria smirked and lifted her eyes to
mine. "I want you to look at this girl, Miss Swan," she said. "I've been toying
with her pussy for quite a while and the dear thing isn't even moist. Such a
pristine creature. It certainly makes for a refreshing change from whores like
you and Alice. Or perhaps I'm rusty, what do you think?"

"Let her go, Vicky," I said. "It's me you want."

Victoria smiled. "No," she said. "It was never you I wanted."

Lauren started sobbing. She sobbed and thrashed, writhing against Victoria's
naked body. She kicked out her naked legs, screaming into the gag. I had to
admit, I found it very hot, but I didn't feel in any danger of joining in. I
had never felt any overwhelming lust for Lauren like I felt for Alice. Besides,
her tits weren't even big enough to jiggle. Finally she just went limp, crying.
Victoria whispered to her and kissed her hair, stroking one of her cheeks.

"Please," I said. "You have no reason to hurt her."

Victoria smiled at me. "No, I don't," she said. "I have no grudge against her,
nor even a grudge against you. I still find you relatively blameless in the
matter, even if I did somewhat lose my temper back at the motel. So you're
right. I have no reason to hurt the girl at all. And yet—"

She snapped Lauren's neck. Her cries were silenced instantly and her body went
slumped.

"—why not?" concluded Victoria. "Her death is regrettable, but I'm sure we'll
all get over it in a day or two. In any case, I have no use for girls who take
too long to climax. "

Victoria pushed aside the dead girl and shoved her off the bed with her foot.
Lauren landed face down in the carpet with her neck askew. Naked, gagged, her
hands tied behind her back. Her eyes were still open and the visible one was
already going glassy. I looked at her ass—she always did have beautiful
skin—and lifted my eyes to Victoria.

Victoria smiled, posed there on an elbow with her legs open and her other elbow
resting on her knee cap. Her pussy was completely exposed and she appeared to
be moist. She didn't appear ready to fight, and I couldn't help feeling
disappointed with myself. Because I didn't want to fight, either. Even after
everything she did to Alice and what she had just done to Lauren. A reddish
haze was invading my brain and what I really wanted to do was crawl between her
legs and begin licking her obediently like a cat.

"So," she said. "What now, Miss Swan? Hm? Will you attack me single handedly?
Will you call for your whorish cohorts? Either way, my fate is sealed. In my
weakened state, I wouldn't be able to overcome even you. You have a very fierce
bite, my dear," she said, smirking and rubbing her neck where I had bitten her.

I nodded at Lauren's body. "You could've fed from her."

Victoria looked at the corpse, as if surprised to see it there. "True," she
said, "but I haven't any appetite when I'm depressed. I'm quite undone, I
confess. All I seem to be able to do is mourn my own passing. It really is
quite tragic. The villain always dies in the end, but we both know I'm not the
real villain here. Am I?"

I didn't reply. Victoria narrowed her eyes at me playfully and smirked.

"No," she said. "Alice is the true villain. Alice is the one who brought us all
together and together destroyed us. You'll see. Alice's love is no gift. It's a
curse."

My eyes were roaming her body. Her crimson hair was tangled and rain-washed,
and her skin was perfectly white, like ivory. I let my eyes drift over her
luscious breasts, so round and full, and I lowered them over her mid-section
toward her pelvis, where her legs were open and her pussy exposed. She was
really quite gorgeous. Heavenly, almost. I lifted my eyes back to hers and she
smiled.

"And on that note," she said, "perhaps I might propose a different ending to
the tale. The truth is, Miss Swan, I've come to develop a great respect for
your ability to love. You lack Rosalie's grace and Alice's charm, but your
heart is oddly innocent. In you I see the girl I always wanted for myself."

She said this very softly, and I admit my heart flared. It was a strange thrill
to have the approval of a woman like Victoria. I had always suspected she liked
me more than she wanted me to know. And now I knew. Victoria watched my
expression for a moment and smiled.

"So," she said, "this is my proposition. I'll offer one last time, and then
you'll never have to hear me again. Join me, Miss Swan. Be mine. With me, your
devotion will be rewarded far beyond anything Alice can offer, and
together…together we both might possibly be happy."

I let the temptation wash over me. I could never accept her offer, but the
temptation felt nice. I lowered my eyes and looked at Lauren's body for a
moment. Her dead eye stared into the carpet and her naked ass was still cute. I
stepped over the corpse, toward the bed, and excitement came into Victoria's
eyes. I looked into them and realized that this wasn't some kind of ploy. She
really like me. She really did want me.

I smiled and lowered my eyes over her body until they came to rest at the cleft
between her legs. I reached with my hand and began to caress her right there,
stroking and probing her soft and silky lips with my fingers. I looked at her
face and she looked back, letting me, not resisting. I inserted two fingers
inside her and she smiled, squirming her hips and beginning to heave her chest.
I leaned toward her face, feeling a genuine wave of affection for this
despicable woman, and smiled back.

"I won't lie," I whispered. "You're an amazing woman and you always did have a
power over me. But I love Alice. And she really wants to kill you."

Her smile faded. I kissed her full lips, not minding that she didn't kiss back,
and then I stood up, withdrawing my fingers and smiling as I licked them clean.
They tasted very sweet.

Victoria looked wounded for a moment, but only a moment. Her face quickly
regained it's haughty expression and she huffed out a sigh. "Very well," she
said, flicking her naked legs over the side of the bed with a flourish. She
stood up and I regarded her wearily, ready to spring. But she didn't attack.
She only smiled and crossed her wrists before her. "Come along then, tie me up.
No need to be coy. I know when I'm beaten and frankly I'm sick of the drama.
Let us end it once and for all. What do you say, Miss Swan?"

I said nothing. I untied the torn strip of cloth from around Lauren's wrists
and used it to tie up Victoria, glancing at her tits. She looked into my eyes
the whole time, smirking, and I tugged the knot tight.

"Good girl," she said, and I had to smile. Even in the act of submitting to a
violent execution at the hands of her former slave, she still managed to be a
cocky, arrogant, demeaning bitch. "Now," she said, almost brightly. "Shall we?
We mustn't keep Alice waiting, must we? I only hope she has something elaborate
in store. After all, a girl only gets to die once. She might as well enjoy it,
hm?"

And with that, she turned and walked out, leading the way to her own death. I
looked at her ass—actually regretting that something so sexy was going to be
dead soon—and then I glanced at Lauren. I didn't want to leave her like that,
so I quickly picked her up and put her in the bed, pulling the covers up over
her nakedness. I removed the gag and closed her eyes, pausing for a moment to
stroke down her hair. She looked prettier in death, pale like a vampire and her
face perfectly peaceful. I leaned and placed a kiss on her dead lips.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Then I hurried to catch up with Victoria.

Alice and Rosalie were still in the bathroom. I left Victoria in the
livingroom, pretty positive that she wouldn't jump out the window naked again,
and opened the bathroom door.

They were naked, of course, with Rosalie sitting on the rim of the bathtub and
Alice kneeling at her pussy. Quite an erotic picture, and I felt a little
guilty at interrupting. It was probably the last time Rosalie was going to get
Alice's tongue inside her, and now the moment was ruined. She shot me a glare,
and Alice turned to look at me with her lips all glossy. My heart flickered at
how cute she was and I was grateful I hadn't given in to Victoria.

"Victoria's here," I said, as if simply announcing a guest. "In the
livingroom."

They looked at each other. Then they both rose to their feet.

Victoria was sitting on the couch with her legs crossed, and she rose when we
entered.

"Well," she said, looking at Alice and Rosalie's naked bodies, the color in
Rosalie's cheeks, the sheen on Alice's lips. "I do hope I didn't interrupt."

Alice looked at her silently. The storm ought to have been theatric enough, but
she seemed almost disappointed that there would be no dramatic showdown, no
fight scene. Lightning flickered in the window curtains and thunder cracked
nearby. It was beginning to get dark outside.

"She gave up," I said, wanting Alice to know that. It was a hot fact to me, and
I thought Alice might get a thrill out of it, too. "She didn't even fight."

Alice had no outward reaction, but I noticed her chest rise and fall with an
excited breath. But she didn't immediately begin ripping Victoria limb from
limb. She turned to me and asked:

"Where's Lauren?"

I didn't answer, but she saw it in my eyes. Alice glared at Victoria.

"You sick bitch," she said. "Lauren did nothing to you!"

The heat in Alice's voice made me feel bad about my own lack of reaction to my
ex-girlfriend's death. I knew Alice was probably just faking in her ongoing
quest to cultivate a conscience, but it was more than I had done.

"Oh, let us dispense with the name calling," Victoria said, striding forward
with her hands tied. "We all know what's going to happen now. The charade grows
tiresome, and—"

Alice slapped her.

Victoria's words were chopped off and her face snapped aside. I felt a jolt in
my heart and Rosalie look down. For a second it looked like Victoria might get
angry, but she didn't. A smile fluttered onto her lips and she turned back to
Alice.

"Well," she said. "I take it you'd like to be rough."

"Oh, you have no idea," Alice growled. She was much shorter than the redhead,
and she looked extremely sexy the way she glared up at the taller woman.

Victoria chuckled flirtily. "Well, well," she said. "Perhaps this will be
enjoyable, after all. Come then, what would you have of me? I'm determined to
be as obedient as possible. It will be my final gift to you, my darling.
Something to remember me by."

Victoria's words made a thrill of excitement pass through, and I could only
imagine what they did to Alice. Alice had always claimed to be a submissive
kind of girl, but that was only her defense mechanism. Deep down, she was
dangerously dominant. She digged vulnerability and helplessness more than
anything, and now she had Victoria, tied up, naked, completely beaten and
passive. Her mistress, the woman who dominated her for centuries and treated
her like a worthless slave. Alice could do absolutely anything she wanted to
her.

Even kill her.

A smirk appeared on Alice's face as her glare melted into a gaze, knowing that
this was the end, that soon Victoria would be nothing but a bittersweet memory.
The first she did to her was kiss her. She took the taller woman's face in her
hands, stood on her toes, and placed a deep kiss on her mouth, asserting her
dominance with her tongue. The redhead accept the kiss in much the same spirit
that I had back at the motel room, giving up, letting the helplessness wash
over her.

The sight made my pussy throb. Rosalie seemed mesmerized, too. What must it be
like for her? To see her mistress, the woman she had devoted herself to for
almost a hundred years, give up under the tongue of her former slave? To me it
was hot, but to her it must've been something more. Because even if her heart
did irrevocably belong to Alice, it was also true that Victoria would always
own the rest of her, body and mind. Victoria had been more than her mistress,
she had been a best friend, a big sister, a protector. The threesome
arrangement between them would've been Rosalie's happily ever after, but that
was over now. In a few minutes her ending was going to a tragedy.

Alice broke the kiss, smirked, and then giggled and gripped Victoria's breasts,
just to the show the woman how helpless she was. "I remember when you made me
ask permission before touching these things," she said. "Do you remember?"

"Of course I remember," Victoria said, staring at Alice steadily as Alice
groped her tits. "Alas, all good things come to an end. I spoilt you, I think.
I should've been more severe with you. Perhaps with Rosalie as well."

She looked at Rosalie and Rosalie looked down. Victoria smiled at her, a smile
that suggested she would expect no better, and then turned back to Alice.

"Come then, are you going to play with my breasts all day? I'm waiting, my
dear. Do not disappoint me now. Have you learnt nothing from me, all these
years?"

Alice smirked and unhanded her breasts. "Okay," she said, and then swept an arm
over the coffeetable to clear the surface, sweeping aside a couple magazines,
the remote. "This will be your altar," she said. "Lay down."

"As you wish," Victoria said, and did as she was told, sitting daintily on the
edge before laying back. It was a smallish table, just long enough for her
torso, and she opened her legs wide with her toes in the carpet either side of
the table. "I assume you'd like my legs open as well?" she asked obligingly.
"No fun with them closed, after all."

"That's good," Alice said, stepping up onto the table. She stood on the edge
between Victoria's thighs and with a smile she lifted and toe and toyed with
the other woman's pussy. "I'm glad you've decided to be such a good girl,
Vicky. Because there's something I've been dying to do to you for a very long
time."

"And what's that, pray tell?"

"This," she said, and punted Victoria in the vagina.

The soft thud of Alice's foot into Victoria's crotch made me jump as a hot bolt
of lust hit me in the chest. It wasn't the most erotic display I'd ever seen,
but it was nice to see Alice so dominant.

Even Rosalie seemed turned on. She was standing on the other side of the table,
opposite me, and we seemed to be arranged like witnesses to some sacrifice.

Victoria grunted at the pain, her breasts jumping from the impact. Alice
giggled and kicked her again. Victoria frowned, as if slightly embarrassed, and
Alice kicked her again and again. She kicked her one final time, really hard,
and then she stood there giggling, like a child who'd found something really
fun to do.

"Well," Victoria said. "It's a tad vulgar, but a decent start, I suppose."

Alice's giggles tapered off into excited breathing and she grinned down at her
former mistress. She held her gaze for a moment, and then grinned wider. "You
think you're going to enjoy this," she said. "But you're not."

Victoria raised an eyebrow. "No?"

"No," Alice said, shaking her head. "You think you won't scream…but you will."

Victoria didn't seem scared. "Well, I hope you have something more creative in
mind than kicking me like a silly child," she said. "Wherever that impulse came
from, you didn't learn it from me."

"Oh, don't worry, Vicky, I have something very special planned," Alice said and
hopped off the table. "Bella, hand me that vase."

I almost startled at being spoken to. Alice and Victoria had been so absorbed
in each other, it was almost as if me and Rosalie had ceased to exist. But now
she gestured with her chin at a vase that stood on the sideboard, and I quickly
went over and got it. It was clear crystal and it contained a bouquet of fake
magnolias. I had no idea what Alice wanted with it, but I handed it to her.

"That's sweet, Alice," Victoria said, "but you don't have to give me flowers.
I'm already putting out, can't you tell?"

Smiling, Alice tipped the vase and let the flowers fall out onto the ground.
Victoria watched them fall.

"Do you want to know what I'm going to do with this, Vicky?" Alice asked
cutely.

"I could imagine," Victoria remarked dryly.

"Then open them wider," Alice said, lowering her free hand to Victoria's pussy.
"They'll need to be as wide as they can, won't they?"

Victoria spread her legs even further, squirming her hips as Alice's fingers
massaged her clit and lower lips, slipping inside her folds. Alice giggled.

"Good girl, Vicky," she said, pumping her fingers in and out gently. "Nice and
horny. How does it feel to be a submissive little bitch? Hm? Do you like it,
Vicky?"

Victoria squirmed her hips. "I could get used to it," she said.

"You could, but you won't," Alice said. "You'll be dead soon. Now, spread your
pussy for me like a good little bitch."

Victoria's wrists were still tied, but she was able to reach down and use her
fingers to spread her pussy open. I watched breathless, mesmerized at how
Alice's fingers went in and out. She was using three by now, and Victoria's
vagina was getting larger. But even so, the vase would never fit.

Would it?

Grinning, Alice made a teardrop shape with her fist and inserted into Victoria,
pushing it in deep. Victoria groaned and a high blush had come into her cheeks.
Alice pumped her fist, in and out, making the hole bigger. She had set the vase
on the table and she was stimulating Victoria's clit with her other hand,
making the woman moan and squirm.

Finally she withdrew her fist and licked her fingers, taking up the vase in her
other hand. Victoria continued to hold her pussy open, perfectly passive. Her
vagina was a gaping red hole. Alice smiled and lowered the vase between her
thighs. The base of the vase was almost as wide as a champagne bottle and I
still didn't think it would fit.

But it did.

Alice angled the base of the vase into the hole and began to push. I could
imagine what that cold touch of glass would've felt like, knowing that the
whole thing was about to be crammed inside you. Finally the base of the vase
slipped inside her, and Victoria gave a grunt. It probably wasn't too
pleasurable. Alice grinned and kept pushing, forcing it in slowly, an inch, two
inches. It was such a tight fit that Alice her herself had to heave a cute
grunt as she pushed.

"You two suck on her tits," Alice said suddenly to Rosalie and I, as if only
just noticing us. "Keep her nice and horny."

I exchanged a look with Rosalie. I recognized her expression as the one I had
worn back at the motel. She didn't want to do it, but she really, really did.
The red fog was rolling through her head the same as it was mine, and after
hesitating only a second, we both dropped to our knees either side of the
coffeetable and leaned our mouths to Victoria's nipples.

Victoria groaned. Her nipples were rock hard and very sensitive. I sucked on it
slowly, almost lovingly, as if it was something particularly succulent and I
was getting carried away with the taste. Victoria's breath was heaving and she
even gave a little whimper, the sounds almost lost in the roar of the rain
outside and the roll of thunder.

"Like that, Vicky?" Alice asked, breathless herself. "Don't get too carried
away, you're not allowed to come yet. I'll let you know when you can come."

Alice gave the vase a big shove. Victoria shuddered and groaned.

"Ugh," she grunted. "Rather a tight fit, isn't it?"

"Oh, don't sell yourself short, Vicky," Alice said fondly. "There's plenty of
room. You're a bigger whore than any of us. Aren't you, Vicky? You're just a
little whore, aren't you?"

Victoria didn't answer. Her eyes were closed and her face strained, sweat drops
rolling off her forehead. Rosalie and I had stopped sucking at her nipples.
Rosalie was gazing at her mistress's face sadly, caressing her hair, and I was
looking at her crotch. The whole vase was buried inside her and I could see the
shape of it under her skin, bulging from her womb like a strange pregnancy.

Alice giggled and hopped up onto the table again. The expression on her face
was radiant, as if she'd never had more fun in her life. No anger, no regret,
no sadness. Just excitement. She placed her bare foot on the bulge of the vase,
almost in triumph, and smiled down at her former mistress.

"Now," she said. "I'm going to give you a chance to beg. Beg and I'll give you
a quick death. Don't beg and it's going to get very, very, painful."

Alice pushed down on the vase with her foot, smiling, her eyes dancing.
Victoria's own eyes were beaten and vapid, but she smiled.

"What if I don't want a quick death?" she said. "What if I'm perfectly sincere
in submitting to anything you want?"

"Then indulge me by saying please."

"Please," Victoria said simply.

Alice licked her fangs, her grin widening. "Good," she said. "That's good."

Then she lifted her foot and stomped down on the vase with her heel.

The sickening crunch of glass was punctuated by a crack of thunder. Victoria's
whole body arched up off the table and she howled in pain as the glass broke up
inside her and shredded her vaginal walls. Alice laughed, like a little maniac,
and started stomping on her womb, grinding the glass in deeper. Victoria's howl
broke off into hysterical sobs, an anguished bray of unimaginable pain. Rosalie
knelt at Victoria's tossing head and caught it at her bosom and held her and
stroked her and gibbered about how sorry she was as her own tears began to
pour.

"How does that feel, Vicky!?" Alice screamed at her over the rain, the thunder,
the wailing. "Huh!? Huh!? Who's the whore now!? Who's the whore now, huh
Vicky!?"

Blood was welling from the ruin of Victoria's vagina and suddenly Alice dropped
down between Victoria's legs and began to lick, lapping and the slurping at the
blood like a crazed demoness.

Victoria's howls began to taper off and slowly a hysterical smile began to form
over her pale face, a smile that was bleak and beaten and utterly fatigued. She
turned her head away from Rosalie's loving touch and focused on Alice.

"Yes," she said in a strangled and brittle voice. "Keep going, Alice. Keep
going…"

I was holding down her thrashing body and watching her face. Her whole body was
shaking in agony and sweat was rolling off her. She grunted and groaned as
Alice licked at her bloody pussy and flicked her swollen clit at the end of
each lick, forcing her vagina to clench down on the dozen shards of glass
buried in her core. I smiled and tongued my fangs. It was amazing. Despite the
pain and despite the helpless terror she must be experiencing, she was still
determined to come – to show Alice that nothing was being forced on her. That
she wanted it all.

But why?

Did it make it less humiliating for her if she actually wanted it? Did she
prefer to submit on her own free will than be beaten into submission like a
rape victim? Or was she sincere about giving this one last gift to Alice, a
totally willing victim, something that Alice had always craved but never had?
One last act of her twisted love before she died? I didn't know, but possibly
the truth was much simpler.

Maybe she was just a slut.

Victoria was coming by now. She grunted and strained against the pain, forcing
herself into orgasm, and finally it happened. The climax sobbed out of her
crumpled tear soaked face as her vagina spasmed on the broken glass, her body
taut and arched, and finally she subsided back upon the coffeetable where she
lay wet and exhausted. Alice continued licking at her pussy, lapping up the
still seeping blood, and Victoria groaned and laughed weakly as her vagina
twitched on the glass.

"Oh, Alice," she panted. "I rather like this dominant streak of yours."

Alice raised up from between her legs. Her lower face was smeared red and she
was smiling. She came around the coffeetable with a cocky swing of her hips,
unbelievably sexy. "Then you're gonna love this," she said, and stepped
astraddle of the redhead's face and squatted her pussy into her mouth.

"Eat it, bitch," she said. "Now."

Victoria was already doing it. Her neck was craned upward into Alice's crotch
and I could hear her moan between Alice's legs and I could see the smile change
on Alice's bloody face. Rosalie and I were still kneeling either side of the
coffeetable and we were both gazing up at Alice, almost in awe. Neither of us
had ever seen her like this, so dominant, so sadistic. So fucking sexy.

Alice saw us watching and smirked. "You two go down on her," she ordered. "Make
this whore come one last time."

Rosalie and I glanced at each other, but there was no hesitation this time. We
shuffled over on our knees, between Victoria's legs. Blood was still seeping
from the destruction in her vagina and a pool had formed on the table between
her thighs and dripped down onto the carpet. Rosalie and I glanced at each
other one more time, our faces breathless and dazed, helpless with lust, our
fangs protruding from our mouths. Then we leaned and began licking.

Together we moaned as the blood touched our tongues and together we kept
licking, huddled there between Victoria's legs like slave girls. We were
pressed together, hip to hip, cheek to cheek, and we took it in turns licking
across her pussy in perfect rhythm, two women with one need. Rosalie was naked
but I still had all my clothes on. Rosalie was soon fingering herself as she
licked and soon I was too, jeans unzipped and hand in my panties.

"Keep going, Vicky," we heard Alice command. "Eat it like the whore you are."

Victoria moaned in response and we all kept licking, all of us but Alice. Alice
was our queen, now more than ever.

Finally we all began coming. It happened almost at once, a rising chorus of
moaning and panting and sobbing mingling with the rattle of rain and the roll
of thunder. Rosalie and I came together, panting into Victoria's pussy, and
when we opened our eyes our eyes met. Our lips and teeth were stained with
blood and slowly, with our minds clouded over in lust, we leaned forward and
began making out, licking the blood and venom from inside each other's mouths.

Alice remained straddled over Victoria's face for a moment, enjoying the ebb of
orgasm and feeling of dominance as Victoria continued to kiss her pussy, and
finally she dismounted. Victoria let her head flop back. It thudded on the
table and Rosalie and I looked up.

"Don't worry, Vicky, it's almost over," Alice said, lifting her limp body by
the hair and crawling onto the table behind her. "Come here, come here," she
whispered, wrapping her legs around Victoria's waist and stroking the hair away
from her neck. Victoria was almost dead already. Her skin was ashen pale,
almost gray, and her body was completely limp. She had lost a lot of blood at
the motel earlier and her vagina was still pumping gouts of blood out onto the
coffeetable. "It's okay," Alice whispered in her ear soothingly. "It's okay.
Are you ready, Vicky? Hm? It's time to die. Would you like to die now?"

Rosalie and I were watching from where we knelt between Victoria's thighs.
Victoria rolled her exhausted and lidded eyes toward Alice and smiled at her a
glazed smile.

"Just do it, Alice," she said. A cocky tilt lifted a corner of the smile. "You
know you want to."

Alice smirked and kissed her one last time. "You're right," she whispered,
lowering her mouth to Victoria's neck. "I do, Vicky. I really, really do."

Alice bit her. Victoria gave a small grunt as Alice's fangs pierced her neck.
She looked down at us, where we knelt there at her pussy, and smirked. She was
naked, with Alice's arms and legs wrapped around her, and blood was dribbling
from her neck onto her pale and bare breasts. Rosalie and I looked at each
other, and then we turned and sank our fangs into Victoria's thighs.

Lightning cracked outside, but the storm was beginning to dissipate. The rain
was abating and the thunder sounded far away. Victoria moaned and didn't
resist, didn't thrash or writhe. She was laying there in Alice's arms, letting
all her blood drain away into the mouths of her slave, her former slave, and
the girl who took her slave away.

Her blood was hot and delicious, and I sucked harder on the wound, pressing my
lips into the warm flesh of her thigh, wanting as much as I could. But soon the
blood began to slow. I sucked even harder, wanting more, but there was none,
and when I looked up she was dead.

Victoria was dead.

Alice licked at the wound in her neck a couple times, licking up the last
smears of blood, and then she placed a kiss on it. Smiling, she looked down at
me and Rosalie, and finally she disengaged her legs from around Victoria's
waist and stood up, letting Victoria flop back onto the coffeetable.

Rosalie and I didn't move. Alice sighed and wiped her mouth with a wrist,
smiling down at Victoria. The redhead's eyes were closed, her face gray, and
her head was tilted aside. Limp and utterly lifeless. Laying there with her
legs open and a pool of blood under her crotch, like the victim of a fatal
breechbirth.

Alice was the first to speak. "Oh well," she said. "Sad, isn't it? What a waste
of boobs."

Then, with a giggle, she leaned and slapped at Victoria's dead white tits. One
last insult. One final humiliation.

"I always did like them," she said, and then she turned and looked at me and
Rosalie.

Neither of us seemed to know what to do, but finally we rose to our feet,
unsure, almost frightened – yet excited, too. We looked at Alice, but it seemed
to be a different Alice, an Alice who was even darker than the dark Alice we
loved and cherished, an Alice who was even more sadistic, more sinister.

The real Alice.

Alice smiled at us, her mouth stained pink, and we waited to see what she'd do.
My heart was quivering in my chest, and I wasn't even sure if she wouldn't kill
me, too, just for fun. But she only looked at me for a moment. Her dark honey-
colored eyes drifted over to Rosalie and looked her up and down before settling
on Rosalie's face.

"Bella," she said, still looking at Rosalie. "Run and get me a knife."

I hesitated, glancing at Rosalie. Rosalie kept her eyes on Alice and there was
nothing in them at all. No hurt, no heartsink, no courage. Just acceptance.

"It's okay, baby," Alice said, smiling a reassuring smile. "Just get me a
knife, okay?"

I gave a jerky nod and hurried into the kitchen. The kitchen knives were on top
of the fridge and as I reached for one of the handles my eyes caught one of the
fridge magnets, the one that said world's greatest mom. It made me pause. What
was mom going to say when she got home? Lauren was dead upstairs and Victoria
was dead and raped in the livingroom. Would we even have time to clean up? But
there was no point thinking about any of that now, so I pulled the knife out of
the block and returned to the living room.

Alice and Rosalie were still standing beside the body of their dead mistress.
They didn't look like they had spoken, and when I came in, they both looked at
me. Alice held out her hand for the knife. I looked at Rosalie and found myself
hesitating. She was so blonde and beautiful, so sad and tragic. She deserved
better than this.

"Can't she come with us?" I asked timidly.

Alice lowered her hand and her eyes. Rosalie looked at her and then she turned
to me. She approached me slowly, her expression softening into something beyond
resignation and acceptance. It was relief. She took the knife out of my hands
and smiled at me. It was the first time she ever did.

And the last.

"I want to apologize," she said. "I never understood your love and I did some
terrible things to you. I don't care if you never forgive me, but…"

She leaned and placed a kiss on my lips and then she hugged me tightly. I could
feel her naked breasts pressing into my t-shirt, and the bulk of my emotional
reaction seemed to be regret that I wasn't naked. It would've been better.

"Take care of Alice," Rosalie whispered into my ear.

I nodded. She gave me one last smile, nodded back, and then turned and handed
the knife to Alice. Alice took it and gazed up at her silently. Rosalie cupped
her face, kissed her lips once, and whispered:

"I love you."

Rosalie caressed her cheek for a moment, relishing this last touch, and then
she let her hand fall. She turned away from the woman she loved more than
anything and looked at Victoria's corpse. She smiled at it, a tear dropping
onto her cheek, and then she climbed on top. She straddled the body of her dead
mistress, leaned, and kissed her pallid lips. She whispered something too
softly to be heard over the rain and Alice came up behind her and took a
handful of her hair, holding the knife in a fist like an instrument of ritual.

I had assumed that Alice would cut her throat, but she didn't. She wrenched the
blonde back by the hair, tearing her mouth from the other woman's lips, and
began to violently hack off her head.

Rosalie made no sound. The first blow severed her spine and made her limp. She
made some gurgling sounds but after a few more blows her vocal cords were
severed, too. Alice continued to hack at her slender neck, lifting the bloody
knife and stabbing it down again, blood spraying the walls, blood spattering
the picture frames on the sideboard. Grinning, grunting with glee with each
hack, her upper body covered in blood. Soon the blonde's neck was hanging by a
thread of flesh and Alice slowed down to saw at it with the knife. Finally the
head came away and the body of the blonde collapsed lifelessly onto her
mistress, naked and spent, as if some massive orgasm had popped off her head.

I looked at them laying there on the coffeetable. Blood was spurting from the
hacked lump of Rosalie's neck and pouring all over Victoria's face, covering it
in a red mask. I looked at the blonde's ass and I thought that her current
state was a pretty clever metaphor for her whole existence. Headless. No
personality, no will of her own. Nothing but a sexy body.

Alice's chest was heaving. In one hand she held the bloody knife and in the
other she held the dripping head of a woman who had sacrificed everything for
her happiness. The head had it's mouth open and it was staring at me with dead
blue eyes. Alice dropped the knife first and then she lifted the head in both
hands so she could look at it. She cradled it in her arms, like a baby, and
smiled at it. Blood was leaking down her naked front. She stroked the blonde
hair back, staining it with blood, and then she lifted the head and kissed it's
lips. She held the kiss, lightning cracking in the background, and then she
lowered it and let it drop to the floor. It landed with a thud, wobbled, and
rolled aside - as if it couldn't bare to look at Alice.

And finally it was over. The blonde and the redhead were dead, Alice and I were
safe, and nothing was ever going to come between us again. So, you see;
sometimes there really are happy endings. Well, for some of us. Lauren had been
brutally murdered, quite tragically, and mom wasn't going to be happy with the
mess in the livingroom. She would also be a little upset to learn that her baby
girl was dating a psychotic murderer and had participated in a double homicide.
But Alice and I were going to be okay, and that was the main thing.

Alice sighed and licked the blood off her fingers. It was very dim in the room
and lightning flashed in the window. Alice glanced at it, a soft rumble of
thunder tolling in the distance, and then she looked down at her body. It was
covered in blood, and with another sigh, she lifted her eyes to mine.

"Come on," she said. "We'd better get cleaned up."

I nodded. There didn't seem to be much else left to do, and besides; I was kind
of horny.

So we went upstairs and turned the shower on. Alice took off my clothes for me,
peeling them away and kissing the things that were exposed, my nipples, my
clit, my kneecaps. She had gone quiet and she didn't speak in the shower.
Together we stood under the warm water, letting the blood drain away and swirl
away into the drain. I washed her down with a sponge and showergel, every inch
of her. My heart felt fluttery in my chest and I was smiling as wiped down her
beautiful skin, strangely happy.

Because from now on, there was really nothing left to worry about. Alice could
never return to the coven and I could never return home. From now on, we had
nothing but each other. From now on, we were going to be together forever. I
should've felt bad about everything that had happened, all the sorrow and death
we caused. But I didn't. I was happy. Really happy. Alice and I had destroyed
absolutely everything in each other's lives, but there was one thing that
survived. One thing that would never fade.

Our love.

The love between us was never going to die, and together, from now on, we were
finally going to be happy.

So we made love in the shower, silently but for little moans. I pressed her
against the plexiglass, rubbing my clean and soapy body against hers, threading
my hands in her wet and silky hair. She wrapped a leg around me and I grabbed
her ass, moaning into her mouth, squeezing it. She kissed me back, desperately,
and finally I fell to my knees and angled my lips up between her thighs. She
gasped, a girlish sound, and I took her clit between my lips and began to
suckle on it.

We shared five orgasms together, the extra one for Alice, just to let her know
she's special. When I turned off the shower, I noticed that the rain had
stopped. It was dark outside. We dried off, and I couldn't help smiling as I
watched her. She still hadn't spoken yet, and I knew she was feeling regret, or
at least the absence of regret. Two people that she had loved for many decades
were dead downstairs and her soulmate's life had been completely shattered
beyond repair. She always got this way after the blood lust was gone, after the
fog had dissipated and she became aware of what an evil little monster she was.
I wanted to make her feel better, to let her know that everything was going to
be perfect, so I put a hand on her shoulder gently.

She turned to me, naked, her hair damp and ruffled, and blinked up at me with
her huge honey-colored eyes. She looked younger than what she was, far younger.
And beautiful. So beautiful. I cupped her face, smiling at her, and I went to
kiss her. But then the headlights of a car swept across the bathroom window and
we heard a car crunch into the driveway.

"That must be your mom," Alice said.

I nodded, wondering briefly what we were suppose to do, but I guess I already
knew. I turned back to Alice, giving her another smile to let her know it's
okay, and kissed her once on the lips. Then I grabbed up a towel, wrapped it
around my torso, and went to leave. Alice watched me sadly and I paused at the
door.

"I'll be back in a minute," I said, and then I went downstairs to face mom.

I found her in the kitchen. She hadn't began screaming hysterically, so I
assumed she hadn't seen the livingroom. She was standing at the kitchen
counter, unpacking groceries. I stood for a second, letting my eyes drift over
her body, and then I stepped in.

"Oh hi, sweetie," she said, when she noticed me. "Sorry I'm late, I had to pick
some things up at the grocery store. Did you have fun at the fair?"

"It was okay," I said, and just to be safe, I asked: "Did Lauren call you?"

"Call me about what?"

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head. "I was just wondering."

Mom lifted a bottle of milk out of the bag and put it in the fridge. On top of
the fridge there was a knife missing from the knife-block. It was laying on the
livingroom floor, covered in blood beside two bodies. Mom glanced at me as she
shut the fridge, her maternal instincts telling her there was something wrong
from how I was standing there with such a cool, calm, detached expression on my
face.

"Everything okay, sweetie?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, smiling to set her at ease. I cocked a thumb over my shoulder.
"I just got out the shower and I heard you."

Mom nodded, looking at me with her hands on her hips. She still had groceries
to unpack, but she was waiting to see if I was really okay. I smiled down at
the linoleum for a second and then I lifted the smile to mom.

"Mom," I said. "You know how much I love you, right? Even though I'm not so
good at showing it sometimes…"

"Of course, sweetie," she assured me. "Why, what's wrong?"

I sighed, giving the impression that I was simply in a strange mood. "Nothing,"
I said, which was somewhat of a lie, I suppose. "It's just…"

I trailed off. There was really no possible way I could explain it. Mom's brow
furrowed, watching me in concern. I stepped toward her slowly, aware that I was
naked under my towel.

"I just feel like I've never showed you how much I appreciate you," I said.
"I've taken you so much for granted. I was never the daughter you deserved."

Mom smiled and touched my shoulder. My bare shoulder. "Sweetie, don't say
that," she said. "You're my daughter. You were perfect."

"I was?" I asked, smiling at her prettily.

The smile seem to charm her and make her own smile wider. "Of course," she
insisted. "When I think back on all the sweet things you've done for me. Like
when I had the flu really bad that time, and you took care of me. You were only
twelve. So mature for your age. I still remember that."

I chuckled once. It was true. When I was younger I had been really mature for
my age. Then I grew up.

"Yeah," I said. "I guess I was okay."

"You were perfect," mom told me, caressing my shoulder. Then she let the hand
fall and she cocked her head. "But why are you saying this? Where's all this
coming from?"

It was coming from a very dark place. A place where nothing existed but a manic
desire to love Alice and Alice alone. A place that knew these were our final
goodbyes. My very last chance to tell mom I loved her, even if that wasn't
quite true anymore. My last chance to show her.

So I sighed and gave a coy little shrug of my bare shoulder. "I don't know," I
said. "I just wanted to let you know. I love you, mom. I never told you enough,
but I do."

"I love you too, sweetie," she said, and then she hugged me.

I hugged her back, smiling, and inhaled her scent. A lingering hint of lavender
perfume. It was nothing like Alice, but it reminded me of Alice, and I inhaled
again, feeling my fangs grow in my mouth. Mom went to release me, but I held
her tight.

"Sweetie?"

"Sorry," I whispered, tightening my grip. "Just a little longer."

Mom chuckled and caressed my back, all oblivious to the dark desires of the
twisted creature in her arms. "You always liked long hugs," she said. "Ever
since you were a girl."

"Yeah," I whispered, and began to kiss her neck.

Mom stiffened. They were just gentle kisses, but enough to be awkward. Her
heart rate picked up and I pressed my lips to her neck, feeling her muscles go
taut under my mouth. I could detect a hint of excitement in her pheromones, and
I had a terrific urge to seduce her. Right there in the kitchen. To let my
towel drop and show her my naked body. To kiss her lips and lift her top over
her breasts, to caress her mounds in my hands and show her how much I had
always loved her.

It could've been so easy. Mom hadn't been touched in decades and I was sure she
wouldn't fight too hard against mine. She loved me. Not quite in the same way,
but it wasn't difficult to warp a person's sense of love. Alice had did it to
me and I had embraced it, quite eagerly. I'm sure mom would've done the same,
if I could be seductive enough.

But I didn't. Because perhaps deep down in my dark heart there were still
traces of that girl who had been her daughter, and I didn't want to corrupt
mom. Mom had been the moral center of my life, and I didn't want to destroy
that. I wanted to preserve her just as she was. I had disappointed her so many
times, but this would be the last time.

"I love you, mom," I whispered, wishing I meant it. "I truly do."

Before she could reply I bit into her neck. A strangled sound of shock came out
of her and I moaned darkly as her blood burst into my mouth. She said nothing.
She tried to squirm away in confusion, perhaps not even realizing what I had
done. I sucked on the wound, drawing her blood into my mouth. She gave a
helpless groan and pushed at me, but all she did was pull down my towel
accidentally, leaving me naked. I held her tight, feeling her nails claw into
my back, and slowly she began to fade.

This was the closest thing to love I could give her. For as long as I had known
her, mom had defined her entire life by her daughter. Loving her, taking care
of her. In return her daughter had lied to her, hurt her, abandoned her. But in
the last month she had seen glimpses of the girl I was trying to be. She had
seen me get a job and save for college. She had seen me come back from an
abusive relationship and repair it under her support.

But it was too late for all that now. Lauren was dead upstairs and the
livingroom walls were spattered with blood. I couldn't let mom live knowing
what I really was. Perhaps that was egocentric of me, but I truly believe she
would prefer to die as well. Mom had devoted a whole life to rising a happy and
healthy daughter. She had given me everything. So maybe it was only fitting
that I took her life as well.

Mom's arms began to get weak until it felt like she was simply holding me. Soon
her hands flopped to her sides. Her head began to loll. I kept sucking at her
neck until she was utterly drained and then I let go. Her body dropped and
slumped over into the kitchen cabinets. Her eyes were closed, her face pale.
Her bushy brown hair tied with a pink scrunchie in a high ponytail. Pinpricks
of blood on her neck. I smiled at her, licking my lips, and then I turned
around.

Alice was standing in the archway. She was wearing jeans and a black top with
chains and a bleeding rose on it. She was watching me, sadly, and she had a
bundle of clothes in her hands.

"Ready to go, baby?" she asked.

—

Before we left we decided to torch the house. It served a practical purpose. It
would destroy evidence and delay the investigation long enough for us to get
out of town. But more than that, it was symbolic. The remains of our lives lay
in that house and burning it down would be our final act of breaking free.

So Alice and I fetched a can of gasoline each from garage and went through the
house. We doused mom's body in the kitchen and doused Victoria and Rosalie
where they lay naked and mutilated on the coffeetable. We doused the stairs and
the upstairs corridor. We doused my old room and doused my old bed, splashing
gasoline over Lauren's dead face. Lauren's lighter was sitting beside a pack of
cigarettes on the bedside table and I picked it up.

We moved back downstairs, leaving a trail of gasoline, and at the front door we
tossed the empty cans. Alice climbed up on the sidetable and took the battery
out of the fire alarm in ceiling. It was the only one in the house. She jumped
down and stood beside me. She hadn't spoke the whole time and her eyes were
filled with tears. I smiled to let her know it was okay and then I flipped the
lighter open. I rolled the flint with my thumb, sparking a flame, and then I
bobbed down and touched the flame to the puddle of gasoline. The fire was pale
blue and ran away from me with a low whooshing sound. As if it was hungry for
the rest of the house. I flipped the lighter closed, rose to my feet, and set
it on the sidetable.

We closed the front door and for a while we stood on the sidewalk, holding
hands and watching the house. Within a minute there was a dull orange glow in
the lower windows and smoke was rising into the night. The fire grew and soon
the windows burst outwards from the heat. Flames licked out and climbed the
clapboards. The upperstory was alight by now and soon the whole house was in
flames. I could feel the heat on my face. Smoke billowed and rolled darkly
against the darkness overhead. The night was filled with a great crackling
sound of feeding flames and somewhere across the street a porch light came on.

I turned to Alice, knowing we had to go now, and I noticed she was crying.
Tears were leaking from her eyes and the tears twinkled in the orange glow of
the fire.

"Hey," I whispered. "What's wrong?"

Her lip trembled as she struggled to hold it all back, six centuries of wrecked
hopes and shattered dreams welling in the dark pools of her eyes where the
burning house trembled in reflection. "I-I ruined your life," she stammered in
a watery voice. "I did. I ruined everything. Everything I touch… Everything…"

I moved in front of her. "Alice."

"It's true," she quavered, beginning to lose it. She looked down at her hands,
as if shocked to see them there. "I… I—I'm broken," she gasped. "I—"

"No," I said. "Alice. Alice, look at me."

I lifted her chin and forced her eyes on mine. Her whole face trembled and she
was swaying in the cold night breeze like a lily stem. Tears were falling from
my own eyes, but they weren't the same as hers. They were tears of happiness,
because now, finally, we were going to be together forever.

"You didn't ruin my life," I told her sincerely. "You completed it."

Alice looked at me, her eyes widening in sheer love. Then she threw herself at
me in a brutal hug.

"I love you, baby," she sobbed. "I love you so much."

"I love you, Alice," I whispered, holding her tight. "I'm always going to love
you."

I held her a while, but more porch lights had come on and some woman was
crossing the street, presumably to check if we were okay. We were standing
outside a burning house, crying into each other's arms, so it probably looked
like we had only barely escaped and maybe left family inside. The wail of a
firetruck was approaching from down the street, the flashing red light winking
in the darkness like a demon eye. Alice was still sobbing into my shoulder. I
quickly pried her loose and took her hand in mine.

"Come on, let's go," I said, and began leading her down the sidewalk, tugging
her gently. "From now on, it's just me and you. I'm gonna make you happy,
Alice, I promise. Okay?"

She sniffed and fell into step beside me. "Okay."

The woman paused across the street and watched us, using her hand as a visor
against the flames. Alice and I kept walking. We left the car and we had packed
nothing. All we took was the set of clothes we were wearing and we were going
to replace them as soon as possible. We had left behind absolutely everything
of value. Our family. Our friends. Our loved ones. The remnants of our old
lives lay burning in the house behind us, and the only thing we took with us
was the love we shared and the dreams that were finally going to come true.

Neither of us looked back.

—

And so we began our new lives together. Just us. Just me and Alice.

In the days and weeks to come we made our way south across the country, walking
the highways at night and still walking when the sun rose. We passed through
small towns and cities, seducing young women and stealing their clothes and
money to support our adventures. Despicable behavior, no doubt, but hey; a
girl's gotta eat. We never checked the news to see what the police and media
made of the massacre at Forks, but it didn't matter. We were soon out of state
and soon we were having too much fun to dwell on the past.

We passed through Tacoma and Portland, capital of Oregon. We stayed there a
while, but California was only a few weeks further south, and the promise of
Alice in a bikini soon had us moving on. We could've rented a car or taken a
bus, but we went on foot to enjoy the scenery, hand in hand through the
sunlight as we strolled along the highway, chatting about our life together,
our plans, our hopes, our dreams. Alice had her heart set on some modeling
work, preferably foot modeling, and I had my heart set simply on Alice. We hit
Redding in the morning and continued on to Sacramento where we spent a few days
enjoying the sun and riding the cable cars while we discussed where to settle.
Alice talked about the places she had lived in before, and sometimes she
slipped up and mentioned her sisters. It didn't bother me, but she was trying
to forget them as if they had never existed. The coven had lived in LA before
and San Diego, and there were still memories that lingered there. So I
suggested San Francisco and Alice lit up; she had always wanted to live there.

It was almost a month since leaving Forks when we arrived in Seattle. With our
modest funds we rented a flat together, fully furnished, and within another
month we were both modeling for the same agency and making decent money.
Modeling was perhaps a somewhat silly profession for murder fugitives, but even
if the police were looking for us, they would probably be looking for our
faces. Alice and I modeled shoes only, so there was little chance of a diligent
investigator driving past a billboard and recognizing Alice's shapely foot. Our
flat was soon littered with shoe samples that designers gave us, Jimmy Choos,
Manolo Blahniks, Lauren Jones, and soon we had moved into a bigger apartment
and filled that one with shoes as well. It was nice work, and Alice enjoyed it
immensely. Every morning and night we spent hours moisturizing our legs,
despite having the flawless skin of vampires, and every day we would perch on
the couch with our feet propped up on the coffeetable and the tabletop
clustered with nailpolish bottles and little chrome pedicure tools.

And by night we took advantage of San Francisco's thriving gay community,
prowling the clubs and bars in slinky black dresses and designer shoes,
dropping jaws wherever we went. Even gay guys would glance twice when we
swaggered past with our arms linked. Mostly we went out simply for the
pleasure, to see the town and hang out with friends we'd made. But sometimes we
did need a special friend, a certain someone we could bring back to the
apartment and offer a special drink before applying a special kiss to their
neck while they slept.

To begin with Alice and I were very liberal in our feeding habits, not wanting
to force rules on each other. But after a while we fell into routine. Alice had
often fantasized about feeding from me exclusively while I fed from others, but
in the end we adopted a more balanced diet. We hunted together and fed together
without exception, and soon we even abandoned hunting. It was almost half a
year since we had arrived in San Francisco, and our days of sleeping around
were drawing to a close. I was no longer a newborn and Alice never did have
much desire for any woman other than me. We still had to feed, of course, but
we fed from friend's only. We had company almost every night, mostly girls who
worked with us—one of them a photographer, very cute with a blonde bob—and
sometimes we'd slip a little something into one of their drinks, feeding from
them gently on the couch with no touch more sinister than stroking their hair.

The weeks stretched into months and the months into years. We moved into a
house and bought two dogs and two kittens. We got married. Our life was just as
perfect as we always dreamed, but after a while our colleagues began to notice
our ageless appearances, and soon we began to discuss moving on. We approached
the prospect with excitement, an opportunity to recreate our happiness
somewhere else, a whole knew wedding, a whole new home, a whole new career. A
whole new set of friends. We'd had a wonderful time in San Francisco, but we
wanted to try something completely new, and by winter we had decided to move to
New York, just in time for the snow.

We resigned from the model agency and found new homes for our pets. It was sad
to say goodbye to them, but we were confident that their new owners would love
them just as much as we had. We spent our last days in San Francisco strolling
the town and shopping for winter clothes, and before we left we had a special
date night. Alice and I hadn't kept track of anniversaries, since so many of
our memories were tainted, but sometimes we got into a romantic mood and simply
had to do something special.

So we made reservations for a suite at a nice hotel and spend the day dress and
shoe shopping. We had a private dinner together in the room, but we only made
it halfway through before a different hunger began to stir in our stomachs.
Smiling, we rose from the table and helped each other out of black satin
dresses and black lace underwear. The only things we left on were our shoes.
Black six inch stilettos. Alice absolutely adored stilettos, and I absolutely
adored Alice.

We made love all night, spreading each other on the bed and devouring each
other with our mouths. It had been a while since Alice and I had indulged our
darker desires, but we did get a little carried away that night. We were happy
and in love, now more than ever before, and soon we would be moving to New York
City and leaving behind our life in San Francisco. Alice was in a whimsical
mood and, knowing my overwhelming affection for her perky round ass, she
submitted to a playful spanking. And, of course, one thing led to another—as it
often does—and soon I was fucking her in her tight little asshole with the neck
of the champagne bottle. She had always been a bit of a butt-slut, and she came
hard enough to almost crush the bottleneck inside her – which triggered the
memory of a certain redhead. But it was a memory only, and the reality was that
nothing and nobody was ever going to come between us again.

It was well past midnight when we began with a little bloodplay, slitting our
wrists with our fangs and dripping blood on our bodies to lick up. Nothing too
dark. The bed got a little messy, but that's what the maid get's paid for.
Alice lifted her face and held her wrist over it, dripping blood onto her
smile. Then she lowered the smile to mine, licking her lips as the blood ran
into them, and for a moment I just knelt there in the bed. Gazing at her,
loving her. Finally I took her face into my hands and began to lick off the
blood, listening to her giggle happily and make little sounds of pleasure.
Eventually she caught my lips with hers and kissed me, rolling me onto my back
and straddling my hips. I reached down and cupped her butt, squeezing it,
letting my mouth fall open for the entry of her tongue as she rubbed her naked
little body into mine. Love was pounding in my chest so hard it felt like it
would burst and I could feel her own love in her kiss. Love that was absolute
and irrevocable. Love that was never going to fade, never diminish. Love
against which not even time will prevail. Love for this girl of my dreams who
had crawled through my bedroom window one night like a dark little pixie and
giggled her way into my heart and soul. My girlfriend, my lover, my wife. My
Alice.

Alice, Alice, Alice.

—

Chapter End Notes
     And alas, here we are at journeys end. Hope you enjoyed this classic.
     I wish xDreamlessx the best, and without further adieu, goodnight &
     goodbye.
     -Alice-
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!