Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1174436.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      The_Avengers_(Marvel_Movies), Agents_of_S.H.I.E.L.D._(TV)
  Relationship:
      Clint_Barton/Phil_Coulson, brief_Phil_Coulson/OFC, Background_Melinda
      May/Jasper_Sitwell
  Character:
      Clint_Barton, Phil_Coulson, Jasper_Sitwell, Melinda_May, James_"Bucky"
      Barnes, Steve_Rogers
  Additional Tags:
      Alpha/Beta/Omega_Dynamics, Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Friendship,
      First_Time, Underage_Sex, Knotting, Full_warnings_inside
  Series:
      Part 1 of Second_chances
  Collections:
      2014_Kink_Big_Bang_-_The_Small_Big_Bang_with_KINK!
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-02-08 Words: 21584
****** Adapting to Circumstances ******
by Morgane_(smilla840)
Summary
     If Clint once knew he was born an omega, he’s long since forgotten
     about it – until he goes into heat and is told the circus is no
     longer a good place for him. Thrust back into the foster system Clint
     must now adapt to his new life and learn to accept it’s okay to be
     different. That’s easier said than done, but luckily his new foster
     parents are pretty great – and so is his new friendship with the kid
     who lives next door, Phil.
Notes
     My entry for this year’s Kink Big Bang. CPWatcher made a fantastic
     vid for it which you can watch here (and leave feedback here) along
     with the banner you can see below.
     Once upon a time I thought it would be a good idea to combine two
     tropes, high school AU and ABO ‘verse, after I found myself wondering
     how a society might deal with heats/ruts during puberty/teenagehood.
     What do you do when you’ve got underage kids with a physiological
     need for sex? This is the result, and I suppose I went with an
     optimistic view (suppressants for everyone it is!). I also want to
     apologise for the lack of Natasha in this fic, I needed her for the
     sequel :)
      
     Warnings: high school AU, ABO ‘verse, underage sex (both Clint and
     Phil are 16 when they start dating), awkward first time sex (read:
     accidental knotting), mild body image issues with an ensuing self-
     esteem problem, some gender-related bullying and insults, references
     to mpreg
     A note on consent since this is ABO: while Clint does go into heat at
     the beginning of the story, he doesn’t have sex with anyone under the
     influence. For that matter, no one has sex with anyone while in heat/
     rut during the course of this story and there is no consent issue
     that I can think of.


                           [ photo kinkbigbang.png]
 
Clint didn’t remember a lot about his first heat.
He had been feeling achy and hot all day, and at first he had thought it was
just the flu: it was January and it was going around. But Clint couldn’t afford
to get sick now – when could he ever, really? – and so he tried to ignore it.
He had to practice for their opening night, after all, and his arrows weren’t
going to shoot themselves.
Clint may be more stubborn than most but when it got the point where he could
barely stand anymore, even he had to admit defeat. So he gave up and went to
bed, curling into a ball under his blanket and hoping against hope that some
sleep would make him feel better.
Mr Carson found him hours later when Clint didn’t show up on time and in
costume for his act. The man took one look at him and drove him straight to the
hospital, muttering curses under his breath all the way there. Clint didn’t
remember much but he remembered that, along with the antiseptic smell of the
hospital and people arguing in loud voices over his head. He whimpered,
desperate for something he couldn’t articulate, and someone told him it was
going to be okay.
Then there was the sharp prick of a needle in his shoulder and everything went
dark.
---
Clint woke up hours later, feeling groggy and sweaty and gross. He was in a
hospital bed with an IV in his arm and vague memories in his head. The gnawing
need he had felt deep inside was gone though, and he was relieved for that at
least. He wasn’t stupid; he could guess what it had been.
A nurse came in and Clint looked at her and thought beta. He blinked a couple
of times, staring at her as she went around the room checking his IV and a
bunch of other things. The feeling didn’t go away. It was weird.
“What’s going on?” he asked her and she looked at him with a pinched mouth.
Clint knew that look – he had seen it on enough faces in the towns the circus
went through –, except he couldn’t figure what he had done to deserve it this
time.
“Doctor Jones will answer all your questions in a minute,” she said, not
unkindly, and finished up what she was doing before leaving him alone to wait
for the doctor.
It took him a while to arrive and he turned out to be a she. Doctor Jones was a
petite dark haired woman who also happened to be heavily pregnant. Omega,
something inside Clint said, and he shook his head to clear it. The adults at
the circus had always been able to look at someone new and know what they were,
alpha, beta or omega. Clint had always figured they didn’t really know, they
just guessed, but clearly he had been wrong.
“I know, it takes a while to get used to,” the doctor said with a friendly
smile, and Clint relaxed a little. “I’m Doctor Jones,” she went on, growing
serious. “Is it okay if I ask you some questions, Clint?”
He shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest and wincing a little as he pulled
on his IV. He really wanted a shower.
“Do you know what happened yesterday?”
“I guess…” She looked at him encouragingly and he sighed. “I went into heat,
right? That means I’m an omega?”
She nodded. “Yes, that was a heat. Was it your first?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you know what a heat is?”
Clint felt himself flush and he shrugged again.
“I’m going to explain it to you anyway, okay?” She went on to do just that, and
Clint wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole. Her tone was
clinical and matter-of-fact but Clint was sure his face was bright red anyway,
and when she got to the sex part, he couldn’t help wrinkling his nose. At just
13, Clint’s idea of sex was still limited to his own hand and maybe thinking
about kissing that boy two towns back. Anything else was just… ew. The
pregnancy part was worse though, and by the time the doctor was finished with
that Clint was more than a little alarmed by his body despite her reassuring
words. It wasn’t like it was news or anything – Clint wasn’t stupid, he knew
male omegas could get pregnant – but he had never thought it would apply to
him. He had always figured he’d be a beta like Barney. After all, the omegas he
knew were nothing like him: they were pretty and small, just like the doctor,
and Clint wasn’t exactly tall for his age but working with a bow had made him
strong.
“Now, Mr –” She glanced down at her chart. “– Carson who brought you in said
you were an orphan. Do you remember your parents talking to you about this, or
a relative maybe? An older sibling?”
Clint looked down, his shoulders hunching up protectively. Why had Mr Carson
told them that? When he had agreed to let them stay with the circus, he had
been very clear: should Clint or Barney interact with outsiders, they were to
say their parents were part of the circus or social services would get involved
and they would all be in trouble. Why had he changed his mind? Had social
services been called already? Did Clint have time to make a run for it before
they got here? He couldn’t leave the circus, it was home! And if he left, how
would Barney find him when he’d come back?
“Clint?” the doctor prompted, breaking through his growing panic.
Clint shook his head and forced himself to look casual and not like he was
scanning the room for exit routes: “I asked someone once. They said I was too
young and there was no way to tell what I was without a blood test.”
“That’s right, that’s why babies are tested when they’re born, so their parents
or guardians can teach them how to take care of themselves when they go through
puberty. Going into heat like you did, especially at your age… it can be
dangerous.”
Clint frowned. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, Clint, you didn’t do anything wrong. Your case is just a little… unusual.
Omegas – and alphas too – usually go on suppressants when they start puberty,
so we’re not used to seeing heats in someone as young as you anymore. Not that
it never happens, some people don’t believe in the meds. And of course you had
no way of knowing, given your… circumstances. In fact it explains a few
things.”
Clint waited for her to elaborate but she didn’t, jotting down words on her
chart instead.
“What happens now?” he asked. “When can I go home?”
“Well, we started you on suppressants when you came in yesterday as part of the
emergency treatment. If you want to stay on them, we’ll keep you under
observation for a little while until we get you on the right dosage – normally
we’d ask for your legal representative’s opinion but you’re old enough to make
decisions regarding your own body when it comes to suppressants so…”
“I’ll take them,” Clint said quickly. If he stayed here, he could try to buy
himself some time to figure things out. Besides, he didn’t want to go into heat
again. It had been scary.
“Okay, we’ll do that then. As for going home, someone is going to come by and
talk to you about it.”
He nodded numbly. He didn’t have a lot of time left, then. It looked like he
would have to leave without the suppressants. That sucked but he couldn’t risk
it. And at least now he knew he needed them, he would probably be able to find
some on the road.
“Can I take a shower?” he said. She glanced at the IV bag and Clint followed
her eyes. It was almost empty.
“Of course. I’ll have the nurse come in and take your IV out. Your lab work
looks good, I don’t think you need it anymore. And it’s time to switch you to
pills.”
“Thanks.”
She left and the same nurse came back in. She didn’t look as stern as she had
before – in fact she almost looked sorry for him and that annoyed him more.
Clint would take disdain over pity any day. Still she got rid of the IV for him
and Clint almost ran to the small bathroom. He really did feel gross.
Despite his growing anxiety, the shower was the best thing Clint had felt in a
while – all that hot water! – and he never wanted to get out. But then he
thought the nurse may come to check on him if he took too long and he hurried,
his face going bright red again as he washed the slick mess on his ass and
thighs. He was curious too and so he held his hand out into the light to look
at it, rubbing his fingers together and making a face at how it felt. He
chickened out before he could experiment some more and got out of the shower,
drying himself quickly.
He only had the hospital gown he had woken up in to wear, and he could hardly
make his escape in that. Keeping a tight grip on his towel he risked pushing
the bathroom door open to look around his room for the clothes he had come in
with but they weren’t there. He was trying to figure out what to do when there
was a knock on the door. It started opening before he could answer, and Clint
caught a glimpse of the nurse on the other side of it before he slammed the
bathroom door shut again. He was basically naked here, okay? He didn’t want her
to see!
“Everything okay in there?” She sounded almost amused and Clint found himself
blushing again. He hated how easily that happened.
“Uhm… I don’t have any clothes to wear,” he told her, fidgeting a little, and
there was a moment of silence before she said:
“You have a visitor. I think he can help you with that.”
Clint frowned, wondering who it could be, and risked cracking the door open
again. Mr Carson was standing there, looking mightily uncomfortable, and the
sheer relief Clint felt at the sight left him a little lightheaded.
Mr Carson had come back for him. Clint would go home with him and everything
would be okay.
“Here,” Mr Carson said, pushing a bag at Clint who took it gratefully before
locking himself back into the bathroom to rummage through it for something to
wear. It didn’t take long: it was as if Mr Carson had grabbed everything he
could find of Clint’s and shoved it into the bag. Clint should have found it
odd to be presented with such a large selection – Mr Carson was hardly the kind
of man to worry about Clint’s sartorial options while in the hospital – but he
was still too relieved to notice.
Then he got out of the bathroom and realised that Carson also had his bow and
wouldn’t look at him, and all the relief vanished into one giant pit of dread.
“Mr Carson?” he asked, hating the way his voice wobbled.
“Clint. Why don’t you sit down? You look like you’re going to fall over,”
Carson said gruffly and Clint bit his lip but did what he was told, perching
himself onto the bed cautiously.
He waited in silence for Carson to say something. He could guess what it would
be – it seemed obvious now – and he could already feel tears burning his
eyelids.
“I’m sorry, Clint. You can’t stay with us anymore.”
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked, and Carson shook his head sharply.
“No, you didn’t. You’re a good kid, Clint, a good worker. But I would never
have taken you and your brother on if I had known you were an omega. This life,
it’s not good for someone like you. Omegas deserve better.”
“But there are other omegas in the circus,” Clint said a little desperately and
Carson looked a little sad.
“They’re adults, and mated. You… You’re so young. I can’t be responsible for
you out there. I’m really sorry.”
Clint nodded numbly. The thing was, Mr Carson really did look sorry, but none
of it made any sense to Clint. He was still the same person he had been the day
before, so what had changed? Sure, he was an omega now but why did it matter?
“Here. I want you to have this,” Carson said, shoving the bow at Clint who took
it reflexively.
“It’s not mine,” he said because it was true. He may be the only one who used
it, may think of it as his, but it still belonged to Mr Carson.
“Nonsense, I want you to have it.”
“Oh.” Clint stared at the bow, the lump in his throat growing. “Thanks.”
Mr Carson stood up, hovering by the bed for a couple of seconds. “You have a
good life, okay kid?” he finally said, patting Clint’s shoulder awkwardly, and
Clint couldn’t think of anything to say. He also couldn’t bear to watch Carson
walk toward the door and so he stared at the bow in his hands instead – until
the very last minute when Clint remembered something.
“Mr Carson?”
The man paused in the doorway and turned back to look at him.
“If Barney comes back, could you…” Clint trailed off, unsure how to finish, but
Carson understood.
“I’ll tell your brother where to find you if I see him,” he said and Clint
tried to smile his thanks but his face felt frozen and unresponsive.
Then Mr Carson was gone and Clint curled on the bed around his bow and cried.
---
Clint spent the ensuing days staring at the ceiling. He felt numb, and in a way
that made things easier – easier than the blind fits of rage that would
overcome him at random and make him want to hurl things at the walls and scream
that it was all fucking unfair. He would get so mad at himself during them, so
angry that he had to be an omega. The circus had been his home and he had been
happy, but then he just had to go and ruin everything.
Clint had had more than one home over the years – there had been the house
where he had lived with his parents and the group home where he and Barney had
stayed after they had died. But his few memories of the first were tarnished by
fear, whatever happiness he may have felt when his dad had been gone
overshadowed by the sure knowledge that he’d return eventually, and the latter
had been so busy, too many kids and not enough supervision, that the best Clint
could hope for was to be ignored by everyone.
The circus though… The circus had been different. Life had been hard, yes, but
people had stuck together and looked out for one another – even for the two
outsider kids who had appeared in their midst one day and forgotten to leave.
Now that was gone and Clint didn’t really care what happened to him next.
It wasn’t up to him anyway.
A social worker came by on the third day. He introduced himself as Sam and
asked a lot of questions. He mostly wanted to know about Barney, and Clint told
him what he could with detached, monosyllabic answers. From what he gathered,
the plan was to locate Barney and see if he could take Clint in, and although
Clint tried to pretend he didn’t feel a glimmer of hope at that, it was too
late already. The notion had taken root and Clint found himself thinking maybe
things would be okay. He tried not to get his hopes up – after all, Barney was
very good at disappointing him – but he found himself clinging to the idea all
the same. They would find a place for just the two of them, some tiny apartment
no bigger than what their trailer used to be, and it would be home.
By the time his doctor said he could be released, Sam had arranged an emergency
placement for him. Clint picked up the bag with all his belongings in it,
shouldered his bow and followed Sam to his car. He resolutely stared out of the
window during the drive, refusing all attempts at conversation, and fought hard
against the urge to jump out and run. He would have done it in a heartbeat if
he had thought Mr Carson would take him back but he had made his feelings clear
and Clint didn’t fancy living on the streets again. The last time had been hard
enough, after they had run away from the group home and before the circus, and
he had had Barney looking out for him then.
In the end the only thing that kept him in the car was Barney and the thought
that maybe, just maybe, they would be a family again. Sometimes it felt as
though this was the only thing keeping him from drowning.
Clint had met the Wilsons – Marcy and Luke – while he was still in the
hospital. They were both betas and already had two beta foster kids, and they
didn’t really know how to deal with an omega, especially one like Clint. They
weren’t bad – if anything they tried too hard to be nice to him – but Clint
still felt too raw and too angry to accept any attempt at sympathy. So he
mostly kept to himself and after a while they let him. The whole thing was only
temporary anyway, who cared if he got along with them or not?
It took four days for Sam to come back with news. Clint could tell from the
look on his face it wasn’t good before Sam disappeared into the living room
with the Wilsons while Clint remained frozen in the staircase. The walls he had
erected around himself began to crack and he balled his hands into fists,
desperately trying to seal the breach and hold the fear at bay. It wasn’t
working though and he could feel the panic building in his chest again, making
it difficult to breathe.
If Mr Carson didn’t want him and Barney didn’t want him, Clint had no idea what
was going to happen to him and he was fucking terrified.
Marcy called his name, derailing his internal freak-out. He took a big gulp of
air and made his way downstairs like a condemned man. He wanted to go and hide,
anything so as not to hear what would come next, but that wouldn’t make the
words any less true, would it? He might as well get it over with.
The Wilsons left him alone with Sam and Clint sat down in front of him, staring
intently at the carpet. He could hear his heartbeat pulsing in his ears and he
felt vaguely sick.
“Clint, we’ve managed to locate your bother,” Sam said, and Clint’s heart
inexplicably leapt into his throat. “Unfortunately he isn’t going to be able to
look after you.”
Clint nodded numbly. He had known it was coming. Really, it was a wonder he had
ever managed to convince himself otherwise. Then again, Clint had always been
terrible at managing his expectations. It was his own fault if he was
disappointed, really.
“I need you to understand this isn’t because of you or anything you did,” Sam
went on and Clint couldn’t smother his snort at that. Of course it was his
fault. Barney probably didn’t want to get stuck with an omega, just like Mr
Carson.
“Clint, it’s not. I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but your brother… your
brother is in prison.”
Clint blinked. And blinked again.
Oh.
“What did he do?” he found himself asking almost despite himself.
Sam hesitated for a second before sighing. “He robbed a convenience store.”
Clint winced. “Is he getting out soon?” If Barney was in jail then it didn’t
mean he didn’t want him. Maybe after he was released, they could–
But Sam shook his head, crushing that hope before it could take flight. “Not
for a few years. And even if he did, the State may not consider him a suitable
guardian for you. So I’m going to start looking for a permanent home for you.
It might take a little while – as you know, it’s harder to place alphas and
omegas.”
Clint nodded again. They had explained all that at the hospital. Omega children
couldn’t be fostered in a household where an alpha was a permanent resident and
vice-versa. The law was a relic of a time when suppressants weren’t widely used
and a handful of sordid affairs had kept the debate going, stopping the law
from being struck down every time the subject was brought up.
“The Wilsons are okay with you staying here in the meantime, so unless you have
an objection, you’re going to live with them for a little while longer. We’re
also going to enrol you at a school so you don’t fall behind. Everything will
be okay.” He smiled encouragingly and Clint looked back at him blankly.
He didn’t see how anything could be okay ever again.
---
In a strange way, Clint felt very calm during the next few days – he was
resigned, yes, but a small part of him was relieved too. The worst had come to
pass and he didn’t have to wonder anymore. Sure, it all sucked but he was still
there and life had taught him to be adaptable. He just had to accept his fate,
make the best of it and move forward. It wasn’t like things could get any worse
than they already were.
School though… school was doing its best to prove him wrong.
The thing was, Clint knew he wasn’t stupid. Sure, he hadn’t gone to a proper
school since third grade but that didn’t mean he hadn’t learned stuff while he
was at the circus. He and the other kids had pored over their lessons every
morning before going off to practice in the afternoon, so he knew things. Of
course, there were some subjects he grasped quicker than others – maths was
easy but English was hard – but didn’t everyone?
What he wasn’t used to – what nothing could have prepared him for – was the
endless hours of classes where he had to sit and pretend to pay attention, the
parade of different teachers each with their own expectations, and the rigidity
of the timetable. He had tested ahead of his peers in some disciplines and
abysmally behind in others, and the school hadn’t been sure what to do with
him. In the end they had gone with the lesser of two evils and put Clint with
the rest of his age group. That meant he spent half his time bored out of his
mind and the other half hopelessly lost, and for the first couple of weeks he
came back to the Wilsons’ exhausted and demoralised.
Another thing Clint wasn’t used to was the throng of students. There had only
been a handful of kids at the circus, and to suddenly be constantly surrounded
by so many people was overwhelming. It felt like every hour of every day was
opening night and it wasn’t long before Clint found himself climbing to the
roof during his lunch hour for some peace and quiet. He also created a minor
panic and had to promise not to do it again. He just got more careful.
More than their multitude, it was the students themselves Clint was having a
hard time with.
He wasn’t sure whose idea it had been to enrol him at an all-omega school.
Whoever they were, they had probably thought they were doing him a favour:
after all, Clint had only just found out he was an omega and being around other
kids like him could only help. Except they weren’t like him. He stood out like
a sore thumb and he had to be confronted with just how much he didn’t fit in
every hour of every day, with every stare and every whisper.
He hated it.
He remembered the pamphlets they had given him at the hospital, the ones that
said all children were born equal and that alphas, betas and omegas would face
the same challenges and be afforded the same opportunities in life – the sky’s
the limit and all that crap. It was a nice sentiment but from what Clint had
seen so far in practice, it was also complete bullshit. You told parents their
baby was an omega and they started treating them differently – or at least the
kind who saw fit to put their kid in an all-omega school certainly did, and
that showed in the student population.
Clint hadn’t been in contact with many omegas in the circus. Objectively he
knew he had probably come across lots and just hadn’t been able to tell, but
those he had known about had been beautiful and soft. They had been meek and
bashful and nice, and they had deferred to their alpha in all things. In return
most people around them had acted like they were the most precious thing on
earth and had to be protected at all costs. Clint had figured he had been
missing something because he hadn’t really understood it at the time.
He still didn’t.
Because Clint? Clint wasn’t any of these things. Practice and hard work had
made him strong and while he may not be very tall, he didn’t try to make
himself smaller or unassuming. He looked people in the eye and he wasn’t
pretty. His nose was still crooked from when he had broken it the year before
and people were always telling him to smile because it looked like he was
scowling all the time. He didn’t like art or poetry or any of that crap they
taught at the school, he liked archery.
So no, he didn’t look like the other students and didn’t act like them either.
No one was particularly mean about it. He was simply met with utter and
complete incomprehension and ignored by his classmates. Sometimes he wondered
if a mixed school would be different – surely there must be other omegas like
him out there – but maybe it would just be more of the same, only with more
students to make him feel out of place.
After a while, the isolation and constant reminder started to wear on Clint. It
made him self-conscious and insecure. Maybe there was something wrong with him.
After all, he was the odd one out. Maybe he needed to be fixed.
He became withdrawn and even less communicative than before. The Wilsons were
worried and so was Sam, but every time someone asked him if something was wrong
he lied and said he was fine. He wasn’t fine – he hadn’t touched his bow in
ages – but he wasn’t willing to admit it either. He just wanted to be left
alone.
Spring break came and went. By then he had been with the Wilsons for almost
three months and the relief to be out of school was constantly overshadowed by
the dread he felt at the thought he would soon be going back.
Then a week after school had started again, Sam said he had found Clint a
permanent foster home.
---
Marcy cried when she hugged him goodbye and wished him luck. Clint wasn’t sure
how to react – he had expected her to be relieved to see him go, why was she
sad? – so he just stood there, torn between wanting to push her away and soak
up the contact. It felt both constrictive and safe, and he was wondering
whether he should maybe try to hug her back when she pulled away, straightening
his clothes and smiling at him tearfully.
He was still a little shell-shocked when he got in the car with Sam. They drove
in silence for a good fifteen minutes and then Sam started talking.
Melinda May and Jasper Sitwell didn’t have any children – fostered or otherwise
– and so far had only served as an emergency foster home. Melinda was a beta
and a police officer while Jasper, an omega, taught at a local school.
Clint pretended not to care and looked fixedly ahead. They probably wouldn’t
want to keep him. He didn’t fit anywhere. And if one of them was an omega,
well… It would just make it all that much clearer.
The house Sam parked in front of wasn’t very big but like the rest of the
street it was nice and well-maintained. Clint figured it must be a good
neighbourhood, the kind of place where he had fantasised living once upon a
time, back when he had still had family to imagine in the house with him.
Caught up in his thoughts, he almost jumped when Sam knocked on his window and
looked at him expectantly. Clint braced himself and got out of the car. Sam had
his bag, which was noticeably heavier than it had been last time – something he
had the Wilsons to thank for – and so Clint clutched his school backpack like a
shield, only remembering his bow as an afterthought. It wasn’t like an omega
had any use for one, but it was the only thing he had left from the circus and
he wanted to keep it with him.
As far as introductions went, theirs were a bit awkward. Clint stared at the
floor and didn’t make a lot of eye contact, keeping his mouth shut unless asked
a direct question. Melinda was a bit scary, with a stern and slightly wooden
expression, while Jasper talked a lot as though to make up for her restraint.
As it was, Sam and Jasper carried most of the conversation, discussing the
neighbourhood, Clint’s school and Jasper’s job. Melinda’s was mostly skirted
around for some reason and Clint wondered if maybe they thought it’d make him
uncomfortable, what with Barney being in jail and all.
After Sam had gone, Clint quickly found himself slightly overwhelmed to have
all of Jasper’s attention on him and Melinda stepped in:
“Why don’t we show Clint his room and let him settle in?” she said and Jasper
nodded.
“Right, of course.”
The three of them trouped up the stairs for an impromptu tour of the second
floor – “so Clint would know where everything was” – before stopping in front
of what Clint supposed was now his bedroom.
“Sorry it’s a little bare,” Jasper said, running a hand over his shaved skull.
“It’s been a while since we…” He stopped abruptly and glanced involuntarily at
Melinda before catching himself and looking away again while she ignored the
whole thing. Clint wondered what that was about. “Anyway, make yourself
comfortable and let us know if you need anything.”
“It’s fine,” Clint said, still clutching his stuff.
“Right. We’ll let you get settled in, then.” Jasper smiled
“Dinner will be in an hour, come down when you’re ready,” Melinda added. It
almost sounded like an order and Clint found himself nodding even as Jasper
shot her another look.
They left him alone and Clint hesitated before pushing the door almost all the
way closed once he had heard them make their way down the stairs. Then he
shoved his bag in the closet without bothering to unpack – no point, really, if
they didn’t keep him – and, after some consideration, put his bow under the bed
where he wouldn’t have to look at it. Jasper had asked about it earlier in an
obvious effort to make Clint more comfortable but he hadn’t known what to say.
Better keep things simple.
Straightening again, Clint looked around the room. It was pretty basic but he
couldn’t imagine needing anything more. It had a bed, a desk and chair, a
closet and shelves with books on it. A lot of books, actually, which was
something Clint had already noticed in the living room. It made sense, with
Jasper teaching English and all. That on top of everything else made Clint
vaguely anxious – English was his worst subject.
Sitting gingerly on the bed, Clint looked out of the window. His room was on
the side of the house and he didn’t realise at first that he was looking
straight into the house next door. There was a boy who looked roughly his age
sitting by the window, gnawing at a pencil while engrossed by something in
front of him – homework, maybe? Clint couldn’t imagine ever being that
fascinated by homework but to each his own, he supposed. The scene looked so
normal that Clint was suddenly overcome with a longing so powerful that it made
his eyes prickle. He hadn’t cried since he had left the hospital, but here and
now he was suddenly overcome by everything he had gone through in the past few
months. All the worry – all the stress – was weighing him down and he was
exhausted.
Clint blinked and shook his head sharply, and the sudden movement or some sixth
sense made the boy in the house next door glance up. He saw Clint and looked
startled for a second but then he smiled and gave a little wave. Clint couldn’t
remember the last time he had interacted with anyone so normally and the
surprise made him look around to check whether there was anyone else the boy
might be waving at. There wasn’t, of course, and he raised a hand to wave back
tentatively. The boy’s smile widened and he quickly wrote something down before
holding a block of paper up in front of him.
“Hi! I’m Phil,” it said and Clint felt himself smile back involuntarily as he
rummaged through his backpack for something to write on.
“Clint,” he wrote back and found himself at a loss to keep the conversation
going. Luckily the other boy – Phil – didn’t seem to have that problem.
“Do you live here now?”
Clint shrugged a little. He supposed he did, however long it lasted.
“Where do you go to school?”
Clint hesitated. He didn’t want to answer because then Phil would know he was a
freak but he didn’t want the conversation to end either, which it might anyway
if he told him the truth. He was considering lying about it when he was saved
from his dilemma: the boy turned his head sideways as if listening to something
and when he turned back towards Clint, he mouthed an apology and left the room.
Clint felt oddly disappointed.
After dinner, Melinda and Jasper set down some ground rules, which he
cautiously took as a good sign. They probably wouldn’t have bothered if they’d
planned on sending him back straight away.
The next day was Sunday and Clint mostly kept to his room, only leaving it for
meals. He had hoped he would see the other boy again but he wasn’t there and
the neighbours’ car was gone until late in the day.
On Monday, Jasper drove him to school. Clint had hoped, in the distant part of
his mind that still did, that he would have to transfer to a new school since
it was farther away from their house than it had been from the Wilsons’, but
Jasper had no early classes and assured him it was no trouble.
“We don’t want you to lose all your friends,” he told Clint with a smile that
said he meant well and Clint felt his shoulders droop a little as soon as
Jasper had turned away.
It took Clint a while to get used to the new house. Avoiding everyone had
worked fine the last time around so he figured he would give it another go.
After all, the less time he spent with Jasper and Melinda, the fewer
opportunities they would have to notice that Clint didn’t really fit. But
without two other kids in the house, Clint couldn’t disappear as easily as he
had managed in the Wilson household, and as a teacher Jasper seemed to think it
was his duty to show an interest in Clint’s coursework. The man always tried to
draw him out with offers of food or drinks or movies, and Clint didn’t really
know how to handle it. Jasper just wasn’t what he had expected. For an omega he
was very bossy.
Melinda was a different story. She wasn’t exactly a warm and fuzzy person and
she rarely talked to him, so at first Clint had thought she didn’t like him or
didn’t want him around. There were pictures of her and Jasper around the house
where she had a wide smile and looked like a different person, and he had
figured maybe he was the reason why she didn’t smile so much anymore. He had
done his best not to be a bother and stayed out of her way until he had
realised it was just how she was with everyone. Melinda may not say much but
she paid close attention to everything, always knowing when Clint or Jasper
needed something before they did, and Clint thought maybe it was her way of
showing she cared.
Little by little, Clint found himself relaxing almost despite himself: as much
as he was wary of the attention he was also starved for it. That only made him
more determined to hide how school made him feel. For some strange reason
Jasper and Melinda didn’t seem to realise how weird Clint was, in fact they
seemed to actively want him around. The last thing Clint wanted was to point
out how out-of-place he truly was in case it made them change their mind.
Then there was Phil. Whenever school was horrible, Clint had their almost daily
interaction to look forward to. Phil didn’t care if Clint was an omega who
didn’t fit in – because he didn’t know Clint was an omega, a little voice
inside Clint’s head insisted, but Clint only had one friend and he didn’t want
to lose him.
He had learned a lot of things about Phil over the past few weeks. They were
the same age, though Phil would be turning 14 soon. He went to a mixed school
where he played chess and soccer, and he was a big fan of Captain America. He
had looked shocked when Clint had admitted he didn’t know who or what that was.
A detailed explanation over many sheets of paper had followed, Phil’s
handwriting getting smaller and smaller as he tried to cram more information
into each until Clint was squinting and barely managing to read any of it.
Clint wasn’t sure he got the appeal but if Phil liked them he thought he might
like to read some of it someday.
Melinda was the one who noticed first, unsurprisingly. Clint overheard her and
Jasper talking one evening, and he hovered in the staircase, listening.
“I worry about Clint,” Jasper was saying. “I don’t think he has any friend at
school.”
A moment of silence, and then Jasper again:
“What?” Clint imagined Melinda had just shot him one of her looks. “You know
something?”
“He’s been talking with the Coulson boy.”
“You mean Phil?”
Another silence, where Clint could just see Melinda shake her head because of
course she meant Phil. There was no other boy next door, Phil only had sisters.
“How long has that been going on?” Jasper asked. He sounded relieved and Clint
felt guilty for worrying him. And then he felt guilty for eavesdropping.
“A while, I think.”
“Good, that’s good. How have you been doing? I know work has–”
Clint beat a hasty retreat to his room before he could hear more. That wasn’t
any of his business.
Predictably Jasper brought the subject up the next day.
“You know, you can invite friends over if you want.”
Clint tensed. He definitely did not want to invite Phil over because without
the two panes of glass between them Phil would know and he wouldn’t want to be
his friend anymore.
“It’s okay,” he mumbled.
Jasper opened his mouth to say more, but Melinda raised an eyebrow at him and
he didn’t press the subject. Clint was relieved.
The relief didn’t last long, however. The following Saturday, the doorbell
rang. Clint was doing homework in his room and didn’t pay it much attention
until Jasper called his name.
“Clint! It’s for you.”
Clint put his pen down and went downstairs, expecting it to be Sam paying them
an unscheduled visit, but instead it was Phil, looking hopeful and a little
awkward with a stack of comic books in his arms.
Clint froze like a deer caught in headlight, panic rising inside him. He could
feel everyone’s expectant eyes on him and it was so much worse than school that
he wanted to run back upstairs and lock himself in his room – anything to avoid
the rejection that was sure to follow. Before he could though, he abruptly
realised he couldn’t tell what Phil was despite standing right in front of him.
Which could only mean Phil hadn’t presented yet and couldn’t tell about him
either. The relief Clint felt was so great that he just stood there gaping at
Phil for a long time until the other boy started to fidget.
“Hi, Clint,” he said before thrusting his bounty forward. “I brought you some
Captain America comics.”
“Uh.” Clint said intelligently. “Thanks.”
He was still staring, too caught up with the reprieve he had just been granted
to realise he was making Phil uncomfortable until the boy flushed and looked
down at his shoes. “Right. I’ll just…”
“Do you want to come up to my room to read them with me?” he blurted out and
Phil nodded eagerly.
“Sure.”
Clint grinned happily and belatedly looked over at Melinda and Jasper for
permission.
“Do your parents know you’re here, Phil?” Jasper asked.
“Yes, Mr Sitwell. They said it was okay.”
“Good. Have fun, then.”
They scampered up to Clint’s room and Clint shoved his suppressants in a drawer
before Phil could see. There was an awkward moment when they both realised it
wasn’t like writing things on a piece of paper and they actually had to talk to
one another, but luckily they had a ready subject:
“So this one is the first issue,” Phil said, brandishing a battered comic book
as he sat down on Clint’s bed. “It’s not the best one but it’s pretty good.
See, that’s Captain America and–”
It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
---
Two months after he had moved in, Jasper had an early meeting and so Melinda
drove Clint to school.
All he felt about school these days was resignation and a fierce desire that no
one find out there was anything wrong. Because there wasn’t. Clint was the one
who was wrong, not the school.
He was usually good at hiding how he felt but Melinda always saw too much and
so on that day he found himself inexplicably jittery, legs bouncing
uncontrollably as he drummed his fingers against his thigh. Melinda glanced at
him from the corner of her eye with a slight frown, and Clint remembered what
was at stake and forced himself to stop, going deathly still – so much so that
by the time Melinda pulled up to the school, he was barely breathing.
“I’ll see you tonight,” she said and Clint forced a smile that felt more like a
grimace.
Her frown deepened. Desperate for her to go before she could put two and two
together, Clint yanked the door open and scrambled out.
“Bye,” he said quickly, expecting her to leave, but she was looking at the
other students walking through the gates and studiously ignoring Clint, and for
a second there Clint wanted to cry.
“Oh, hell,” he heard Melinda mutter through the open window, and then: “Clint!
Get back in the car.”
He froze. “I’ve got classes.”
“You’re not going today. I’ll call the school,” she said firmly and he couldn’t
get back in the car fast enough, almost sick with terror. He couldn’t even feel
relief at the small respite from school he had just gotten – after all, he
would have to go back the next day and nothing would have changed. For now, his
mind was crowded with too many questions. Had Melinda figured it out? Did she
want Clint to leave? Why was she pulling him out of school? Was she in that
much of a hurry to have him pack up his things and go?
They drove in silence until it became clear they weren’t heading back to the
house and Clint forced himself to ask in a small voice:
“Where are we going?”
“You’re coming into work with me.”
More silence, then:
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on at school?” she said, keeping her voice
light and her eyes on the road.
Clint chewed on his lower lip and stared out of the window. He could tell she
had already figured it out, there was no point in lying.
He just hoped he would get to say goodbye to Phil first.
“It’s just… they’re all omegas and they all look like… And I’m…” He gestured at
himself and looked away again.
Melinda pulled the car over and turned towards him.
“Clint, there is nothing wrong with how you look.”
Clint wrapped his arms around himself and refused to meet her eyes.
“Clint…”
“I don’t look like an omega,” he bit out.
“There is no right look for an omega – or for an alpha or a beta, for that
matter.”
Clint shook his head and she sighed.
“Maybe you don’t have the traditional look, but that’s okay. I meet a lot of
omegas in my line of work and believe me when I say plenty of them don’t look
like that either. Does Jasper?”
Clint shrugged. He didn’t, not really. But then he didn’t not look like one
either.
“There are a few omegas in the police department,” she said, starting the car
again. “You’ll see.”
Clint wanted to believe her, he really did. He just wasn’t sure he could. Then
again he hadn’t known omegas could be police officers. What if Melinda was
right?
The police station was something of an eye opener. There were a lot of alphas
but as promised there were omegas too, some who looked like all the omegas
Clint had ever met and some who didn’t. Regardless of their appearance, they
all had that focused, professional look that Clint envied a little. They all
seemed so sure of themselves, so confident. He wished he could be more like
them and stop worrying about what everyone thought of him all the time.
No one looked at him funny when he followed Melinda to her tiny office, though
people were obviously curious. Melinda had cleared his presence with her
captain and it soon felt like the whole precinct was finding excuses to show up
in the evidence locker for a chat. That was where Melinda worked, although it
was obvious from the way everyone interacted with her she hadn’t always. There
was a mix of awe and respect in their eyes and Clint figured Melinda was
probably the best cop ever.
“Do you like being a cop?” he asked her hesitantly after a couple hours of
people-watching and reading his school books.
“I’m not,” she said and Clint frowned. Of course she was. She worked at the
police station, didn’t she?
“I used to be,” she elaborated when she saw his confusion. “This –” she
gestured at her desk. “This is what I do now.”
“Oh.”
Clint wasn’t sure what the difference was – surely she could be both? All the
other officers certainly seemed to think so and treated Melinda like one of
their own. Then Clint thought of all the pictures of Melinda smiling and how
she rarely did anymore, and he wondered if maybe something had happened and
made her want not to talk or smile so much. Maybe it had made her not want to
think of herself as a police officer too. That much Clint could understand.
Jasper showed up after lunch slightly out of breath and Melinda jerked her head
towards the hallway. They talked quietly for a couple of minutes, Melinda’s
body language tense and angry while Jasper’s went from relaxed to concerned and
unhappy. Clint pretended he wasn’t looking and tried to make himself as small
as possible – the last thing he wanted was to cause trouble between them.
“We’ll talk about it together tonight,” he heard Melinda say as they walked
back into the room. Jasper looked as serious as Clint had ever seen him when he
told Clint to get his things and he did so quickly.
The drive home was uncharacteristically silent and it wasn’t until they were
home that Jasper turned towards him.
“Are you okay?” he asked and Clint opened his mouth to answer his usual way –
lie – except there was no point, was there? So he shrugged and left it at that,
unable to put into words how utterly confused he felt at the moment.
“You know you can talk to me – us – about anything, right?”
Clint shrugged again and Jasper nodded as though he hadn’t expected any
different.
“Mel said you’ve been studying all day. Do you want to watch some TV?” Jasper
sounded so hopeful that Clint didn’t have the heart to say no and go be by
himself in his room.
He settled on the couch with the remote while Jasper went into the study. He
was supposed to be grading papers but he kept flitting in and out of the room,
bringing Clint cookies and juice. Eventually though Clint’s eyes started to
droop. He felt very tired, as though no longer having to hide what had been
bothering him for months had lifted a huge weight from his shoulders, leaving
only exhaustion behind. Unable to resist the pull any longer he closed his eyes
and slept.
Clint woke up a couple of hours later when Melinda came home. He heard Jasper
meet her at the door, heard them share a kiss, and he stayed where he was,
pretending to still be asleep.
“He isn’t going back to that school,” Melinda stated.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Jasper was whispering and Clint
thought they must be in the doorway, looking at him.
Melinda sighed. “You know how we were wondering if something was going on at
school?”
“Of course. We have a meeting on Friday with the principal to talk about it.”
That was news to Clint and he could hear the frown in Jasper’s voice as he
spoke.
“Jasper, have you seen the other students?”
“Well, yeah – some of them anyway, when I drop him off.”
“Did you notice how… traditional they all are?”
Silence, then:
“Shit. Shit.” There was movement in the hallway and when Clint risked peeking
through his eyelashes he saw Jasper was pacing. “I knew he didn’t like going to
school but I thought he was having a hard time adapting. That things would get
better once he made friends. Shit.”
“We asked him. He said everything was fine.”
“But I’m a teacher, for god’s sake. I’m supposed to be trained to spot things
like that. And I’m an omega, and I drive him there every day. I can’t believe I
didn’t realise– Jesus.”
“Blaming ourselves won’t help but I think you should talk to him. He seems
persuaded that all omegas are supposed to be like the other kids at school and
that he is wrong somehow.”
“Shit, that’s why he didn’t want to join the archery club, isn’t it?”
“Probably.”
Clint felt a lump in his throat at the reminder. Even now he still missed his
bow. He had wanted to say yes when they had asked, but an omega didn’t need to
know how to shoot and his shoulders were too wide already.
Jasper sighed. “Okay, let’s make a plan. We can talk to Clint about it in the
morning – and Sam too –, but the summer break is just a few weeks away. He
could stay at home and we’ll make sure he catches up on whatever he needs to
catch up. Then he’ll join SHIELD in the fall. What do you think?”
Clint didn’t hear Melinda’s answer and they moved deeper into the house after
that, leaving him to try and sort his turbulent thoughts.
He wasn’t going back to school.
They didn’t think anything was wrong with him.
They weren’t going to send him away.
This time he got to stay.
Clint pressed his face into the cushion and thought it felt like home.
---
Melinda and Jasper did talk to him – at great length. It was a long and
draining conversation that left Clint mentally exhausted and didn’t solve
anything, but it was a step in the right direction. It would take time before
he was fully convinced, but maybe that was okay. He did finally unpack his bag
though, and Melinda smiled for real the next time she dropped by with his
laundry.
Jasper set up targets in the backyard and bought some arrows – just in case
Clint wanted to use them, he said, no pressure. Clint caught himself looking at
them longingly a few times but he hadn’t tried them out yet. Soon, maybe.
For the next month, he alternated between home with Jasper when the man wasn’t
at work and the police station with Melinda when he was. They had asked him
whether he’d prefer to go to Jasper’s school instead, maybe stay in the
library, but the police station was the first place other than their house
where Clint had felt truly accepted. He liked it there.
Phil’s birthday was at the beginning of July. He had a party at his house with
his friends from school and invited Clint like it was the most obvious thing in
the world. It was a big deal for Clint though and he felt like he was walking
on air for days.
The day itself, however, didn’t exactly go as planned.
There were a lot of people there.
Clint had known Phil had other friends, of course – he had even caught a
glimpse of a couple of them when they had studied over at Phil’s – and why
wouldn’t he? Clint was the weirdo with only one friend, not Phil. Still, Clint…
Clint was a little jealous. He was used to having all of Phil’s attention to
himself and not sharing him with anyone else. To see him surrounded by other
people he also talked animatedly to and laughed with suddenly made their
friendship not all that special.
Clint hovered in the background, trying to will himself to disappear into the
wallpaper and hoping no one would notice him. He caught Phil’s eye a few times
and forced a smile to pretend he was having fun but he wasn’t, not really. He
didn’t think he had talked to anyone except Phil since he had gotten there,
though that was probably his own fault. He still wasn’t entirely comfortable
talking to people who’d know he was an omega.
Phil’s mom let him hide in the kitchen with her for a while until it was time
to get the cake ready and she shooed him back to the living room with the
others.
“Hey, Phil, who’s the omega?”
Clint tensed, hoping against hope that whoever had spoken wasn’t referring to
him, but of course they were. With everyone’s attention suddenly on him, Clint
felt all his insecurities rush back to the surface.
“Tony!” the girl next to ‘Tony’ said exasperatedly, elbowing him and making him
squawk indignantly.
“What? He doesn’t go to SHIELD, does he? I was just asking.”
“Well, you don’t have to shout.”
The two bickered on and the other conversations picked up again. Clint stared
at his feet, very conscious of the fact that his face was bright red. He was
wondering whether Phil would mind – or even notice – if he went home now when
the other boy appeared next to him.
“Sorry about Tony,” he said with an eye roll. “He’s an idiot. My parents said I
had to invite him.”
Clint was so startled he forgot he was upset. Phil… Phil didn’t seem shocked or
disgusted or even surprised. Had someone told him already? Did he just not
care? How was that possible?
“Come on, I think it’s time for cake,” Phil said, tugging Clint forward with
him, and Clint stumbled after him, sticking close as Phil introduced him to
everyone.
The rest of the afternoon was a bit of a blur but it wasn’t so bad after all.
---
With the summer holiday firmly upon them, Phil spent a lot of time at Clint’s.
He said it was because he had three sisters who got on his nerves and Clint
certainly didn’t protest. He liked having Phil around.
He was restringing his bow one morning when the bell rang.
“Hi, Phil,” he heard Jasper say and Phil’s answering “Hello, Mr Sitwell” which
was quickly followed by the clatter of footsteps on the stairs. Seconds later,
Phil burst into the room and threw himself on the bed.
He didn’t say anything, just glared doggedly at the ceiling, and Clint didn’t
ask, knowing Phil would talk eventually.
“My sister presented this morning,” he finally said despondently.
Clint winced. While he had once been selfishly glad that Phil was a late
bloomer, he knew it was a sore subject for Phil. “She’s been on suppressants
for six months and then this morning bam! She woke up being able to tell. I’ve
been on them for almost two years and still nothing. It’s so unfair.”
“It’s really not that great,” Clint muttered, filing away the fact that Phil
took suppressants for later – he was either an alpha or an omega, then. He
kinda hoped he was an omega too, although that maybe wasn’t very fair. Phil
would probably have an easier time as an alpha – or maybe it truly was the same
and Clint was the one who had a hard time dealing with it. Either way, it
wasn’t like he could just ask. There was this weird etiquette about not asking
people who hadn’t presented yet.
Phil forgot he was supposed to be sulking for a second and raised himself to
his elbows to look at Clint curiously. “Why not?”
Clint shrugged. He didn’t usually like talking about it – sure, things were
okay now but they hadn’t been for a while – but he figured he could, for Phil.
“I couldn’t stay where I was living after I presented,” he said. He still
missed the circus sometimes.
“Why not?”
Clint became very engrossed with his bow. He was done with it but it gave him
something to do other than look at Phil’s curious face. “They didn’t want to
keep an omega around. Said it wasn’t the right place for me.”
“That sucks,” Phil said philosophically. “Where did you live?”
“Uhm… I was with a circus?” Clint mumbled, feeling his cheeks grow hot.
Phil’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”
Clint nodded.
“That is so cool.”
“You think?” Clint asked, a shy grin working its way on his face as Phil nodded
enthusiastically.
“Still, you’re here now. That’s good, right?”
Clint considered it for a moment. “Yeah. I guess it is.” His smile grew less
tentative and Phil grinned back at him, his bad mood momentarily forgotten.
“So what did you do? In the circus, I mean. Did you have an act or something?
Were there lions?”
“Nah, no lion. There was an elephant though,” he said and watched Phil mouth
‘elephant’ with wonder. “I shot stuff with my bow.”
“Really? Can you show me?”
Clint blinked. “You want to?”
“Duh. Come on.”
He jumped back to his feet and towed Clint to the backyard – not that Clint was
resisting all that much. Phil’s enthusiasm was communicative and Clint forgot
that he hadn’t used a bow in over six months, his apprehension vanishing in the
excitement of the moment.
He grew nervous again when he found himself facing the target but for a brand
new reason – what would Phil think if he missed? But he never missed and the
distance was hardly a challenge, even without practice. He hit bull’s-eye after
bull’s-eye, and when he ran out of arrows he was grinning, feeling more at
peace with himself than he had in a long time.
“That was awesome,” Phil announced, a little breathless. “You could totally be
a superhero.”
Clint’s grin widened – there was no higher praise in Phil’s book.
“Wanna try?” he asked and Phil nodded eagerly.
“Okay, so this is what you do,” he said, handing him his bow and talking him
through it. He grew more confident as Phil followed his instructions and
managed to hit the target. It wasn’t anywhere near the middle, but Clint still
magnanimously declared it a good first try.
The rest of the summer holiday passed quickly. Phil went away to camp at the
end of July and Clint missed him terribly. He didn’t have much time to think
about it though because they were going to visit Jasper’s sister in August
before spending a week at Melinda’s parents’. The whole thing was freaking
Clint out a little. They were all family but Clint wasn’t – was he?
It turned out he didn’t need to have worried. Jasper’s sister was a lot like
him ramped to eleven. She talked a lot, her hands flying everywhere to make her
point, and she had a lot of opinions about everything. She and her husband,
both betas, had two kids under ten, and this contributed to a rather noisy
household. Melinda grew more and more wooden as the days went by and Clint
kinda understood how she felt. Anna meant well and had gone out of her way to
make them feel welcome – Clint in particular – but it was still rather
overwhelming. When things got too much, the two of them escaped to the car,
taking a drive around town while Jasper and his sister caught up. Although
Jasper had obviously developed a higher tolerance over time, even he seemed
relieved to leave at the end of their stay.
Melinda’s parents were a different story altogether, a traditional alpha/omega
pair who seemed just as comfortable sitting in silence as talking to each
other. They were very curious about Clint but seemed reluctant to ask too many
questions in case it made him uncomfortable. Jasper did most of the smoothing
things over, pulling everyone out of their shell until they were comfortable
with one another. The pictures from Melinda’s childhood helped too, much to her
horror.
Whether it be Jasper’s or Melinda’s family, they all treated Clint like he was
one of them. It was a little strange to have so many people paying attention to
him and listening to what he had to say but it was kinda nice too. Still, Clint
was glad when it was time to head home.
They had just pulled into the driveway when Phil appeared on his front porch.
He looked extraordinarily pleased with himself and Clint saw his smile before
he actually saw him.
He blinked.
Well, that answered that question at least.
There was an awkward moment when they both just stared at one another before
Melinda huffed a laugh and pushed past them with luggage, Jasper following
close behind.
“I’ve got to grab my stuff,” Clint said, waving at the boot of the car before
things could get any weirder.
“I’ve got the new Captain America,” Phil offered. He sounded a little
tentative, like he thought maybe Clint wouldn’t want to spend time with him
now, which was just stupid.
“Great,” he said with a grin, and Phil relaxed.
“I’ll go get it,” he said and disappeared back into his house while Clint
dragged his bag inside.
He was making his way up the stairs when Jasper called after him to tell him to
leave his bedroom door open. It took Clint a few seconds to understand why, and
he was still bright red when Phil showed up a couple of minutes later,
brandishing his comics. Eventually, the normality of the situation helped
settle them both and they turned their attention to their reading instead of
shooting each other little looks from the corner of their eye.
The next day, Melinda and Jasper called Clint down to the kitchen for a ‘talk’
and Clint scrunched his face in horrified comprehension when what they wanted
to talk about became clear.
It was the single most embarrassing moment of his life.
“Phil isn’t my boyfriend,” he stammered when they finished setting down a new
set of rules and going over everything the doctor had told him at the hospital
all those months ago.
“We’re not saying he is,” Jasper said. “It’s just that you’ll be 14 soon, and
we need to be sure you know –”
“Is it because he’s an alpha?” Clint went on over Jasper’s explanation, too
caught up in the fact that anyone would think they were to listen. Phil was his
friend, he didn’t think of him that way. Did Phil think of him this way? Did
Phil think Clint did? Wait… now he was just confusing himself.
Melinda raised an eyebrow at him. “Clint, take a second to consider who you’re
talking to. Do you honestly think the fact that he’s an alpha matters in this
household?”
Clint swallowed and shook his head, and Melinda nodded in approval.
“We’re not saying anything is happening between you and Phil, or that anything
will – or that you want it to. We just want you to have all the information you
need when you decide you’re ready to start dating – which we hope won’t be for
at least a couple of years.” She gave him a pointed look at that, and while
Clint hadn’t thought it was possible for him to turn any redder, she had just
proved him wrong.
To say that Clint didn’t how to behave around Phil over the next few days was
an understatement. Then he realised he was making a big deal out of nothing and
things pretty much went back to normal.
Besides, Clint had bigger things to worry about. The school year was upon them
and Clint couldn’t help being nervous. Sure, Phil would be there – and so would
Jasper –, but Clint had been dismayed to find out they were a year apart. Since
they had been the same age when they had met, he had simply assumed they would
be in the same grade but the six months between them apparently meant they
weren’t. It sucked.
With Phil starting high school, Clint wondered if he would have time for an 8th
grader. Even if he did, the School for Harmonious and Integrated Education,
Learning and Development – colloquially known as SHIELD by its students and
staff – was a sprawling campus encompassing students from kindergarten to grade
12 and there was no way to tell if Clint would even see Phil around.
SHIELD, it turned out, was an okay place. Suppressants were mandatory for
alphas and omegas – both students and staff – so at least they didn’t have to
worry about someone accidentally going into rut or heat in the middle of class.
For the first few days Clint couldn’t stop staring at everyone, especially
omegas. They all looked so different! Granted, some were still pretty and soft
and giggled whenever an alpha walked by but there were others too who liked
sport or science and no one cared.
Well, that wasn’t quite true. Some people cared.
Being a mixed school didn’t make SHIELD prejudice-free. The school hierarchy
was pretty clear cut, with a handful of alphas and omegas at the top, each in
their own role. They were mostly assholes, Clint quickly found out, full of
themselves and intolerant of anyone who didn’t conform with their idea of
normal – not just omegas but alphas and betas too. They were worse with their
own, as if by being different they somehow impugned the honour of their whole
gender. It was rough at first, but Clint quickly learned to stay clear of them.
It helped that Phil quickly proved he had been worrying over nothing as far as
their continuing friendship was concerned, showing up at the end of Clint’s
first morning to drag him to lunch.
Clint even managed to make a friend of his own, a girl who was as good with a
bow as he was. He felt kinda proud about that. He had met Kate at the archery
club after a couple of alphas on the team had taken exception to Clint being
better at it than them. They cornered him after practice, no doubt eager to
teach him a lesson, and Kate decided to make it her problem as well.
They all ended in the principal’s office where the two alphas were reprimanded,
and through it all Clint glared daggers at her for intervening.
“What is your problem?” she asked him afterwards.
“I can take care of myself!” Clint said, his voice just shy of a yell. “Just
because I’m an omega doesn’t mean–”
“I don’t care if you’re an omega,” she snorted. “Those guys are assholes. Do
you think they like it any better when a beta is better than them?” She added
bitterly and Clint could maybe see her point.
“Okay, fine. Thank for the help back there,” he said almost reluctantly.
“You’re welcome. We’ve got better odds at two against two. Besides, you’re the
only one on the team who can get anywhere near my scores, it’d have given me an
unfair advantage if they had messed you up.”
“My scores are higher than yours!” Clint protested, a little affronted.
She grinned. “Prove it.”
They were fast friends from then on.
But another consequence of having a mixed population of students was the gossip
and it seemed no one could simply be friends with anyone. Clint honestly
couldn’t fathom why everyone was so interested in who was dating whom, but
omegas in particular were targeted as prime gossip material. If one spent time
with an alpha of course they had to be together, and if one was seen with more
than one alpha then they were obviously an easy lay. No one cared much if they
spend time with betas – unless they spent too much time with one in particular,
in which case there was clearly something wrong with them. This, of course,
meant he and Phil were a couple or he and Kate were, depending on whom you
asked. The logic was mindboggling to Clint. Why was it so hard for people to
believe they were friends?
(Did it have something to do with him?)
Still, most of the time he ignored it to focus on the good things. He had
Melinda and Jasper, and he had Phil, and he had Kate. He had family and
friends.
Life was pretty good.
---
A year after he had moved in, Jasper and Melinda asked Clint if they could
adopt him. He said yes, because at that point anything else would have been
incomprehensible, and then walked around in a state of shock for a few days.
When he finally came out of it he felt more settled than he ever remembered
being.
Another year went by. Now a freshman, Clint had to deal with something new:
Phil was mooning over a girl, a pretty beta who had been his lab partner since
forever. Because it was Phil, you couldn’t tell he was actually interested but
Clint was more observant that the average just-turned-15 teenager. That and
Phil wouldn’t stop talking about how great and smart she was.
She was the reason why Clint was currently not working on his English essay and
was instead listening to Phil dissecting at great length his latest interaction
with Becky.
“Why don’t you ask her out?” Clint finally asked because it seemed like the
obvious solution to Phil’s problem. But apparently it wasn’t that simple, or so
said Phil’s somewhat dubious look.
“But what if she says no?”
“She’s not going to say no.” Duh. Anyone with eyes would know that – so would
Phil, usually. It seemed having a crush had gotten his brain all muddled up and
made him lose all confidence and aplomb. Clint was in no hurry of that
happening to him and he silently vowed to himself that he wouldn’t be that bad
when he’d fall in love. Seriously, it was embarrassing.
“You’re my best friend, you have to say that,” Phil grumbled and Clint ducked
his head at the by-now familiar thrill of happiness he felt whenever Phil
called him his best friend. But back on point:
“I’ve seen her looking at you,” he offered. It was true and if there was one
ounce of the real Phil left he would react to ‘proof’ better than to
meaningless reassurances. And indeed that seemed to perk him right up.
“Really?”
“Yep.”
“Good, that’s good.”
Thinking the matter resolved, Clint went back to his essay.
“So I just… ask her out.”
Or maybe not just yet.
“Yes.”
“How?”
“Why are you asking me?” Clint frowned. It was not one of his areas of
expertise and Phil knew it. “Can’t you ask one of your sisters?”
He made a face. “No way. If I do my parents will know all about it within the
next five minutes.”
“Just… ask her if she wants to go see a movie or something. Isn’t that what
people do?”
“I guess.”
“Well, there you go.”
Phil thought about it for a while, no doubt rehashing any and all conversations
he had ever had with Becky for any clue that she absolutely despised movies and
coming up empty judging by his smile. “I’ll do that, thanks!”
He grabbed his bag and started shoving things into it.
“I didn’t mean now!” Clint protested – it was Sunday, did Phil even know where
she lived? It would be a little creepy if he showed up at her house like that.
“I’ve got to prepare for tomorrow,” Phil said seriously and Clint barely
resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
“Well, good luck then!” he called after Phil as he hurried out and went back to
his essay with a snort.
Love was so stupid.
A month later, he was regretting ever having given advice to Phil.
Phil had followed it to the letter and of course Becky had said yes. Now the
two of them were dating and it was definitely not okay.
Clint had always been possessive of Phil’s time – not all his time, obviously,
he wasn’t that much of a freak. Phil had other friends and so had Clint, and
they were hardly joined at the hip. But they did have their habits, like eating
together on the two days a week where they shared the same lunch hour, meeting
up on the evenings of a new Captain America release, or spending their Sunday
afternoon together even if all they did was homework. So when Phil started
repeatedly cancelling their usual time together to be with Becky, Clint had a
hard time dealing.
It wasn’t jealousy, not really. Clint liked Becky and he liked that Phil was so
happy. What he didn’t like was how easy it seemed to be for Phil to ignore him,
how obvious it was that he didn’t miss Clint nearly as much as Clint missed
him. Not that it was just Clint that Phil was spending less time with – just
the other day Maria had said something about never seeing him around anymore.
But Clint, well, Clint was supposed to be his best friend, surely that made him
special.
Right?
Well, not so much, as it turned out. That made him a little sad, like he wasn’t
worth Phil’s time anymore. Old insecurities resurfaced briefly before he
managed to fight them back. This wasn’t about him, it was about Phil and Becky.
While that realisation helped a lot, it also somehow made it worse because it
meant there was nothing Clint could do to make things better. Nothing he could
fix.
And since he would never dream of demanding that Phil spend time with him, all
he could do was wait.
He moped around the house until Jasper cornered him in the kitchen one day and
sat him down.
“Is everything okay, Clint?”
He shrugged.
“We haven’t seen Phil in a while. Is everything good between you two?” Jasper
pressed and Melinda looked away from the kettle to offer her two cents:
“Phil’s got a girlfriend.”
“Ah.”
Clint crossed his arms over his chest and slumped down in his chair.
“It’s okay to miss him, you know.”
Clint looked up almost despite himself at that. Truth be told, he hadn’t known.
Sure, Tony became a royal pain in the ass whenever Rhodey ignored him
regardless of where Tony’s weird relationship with Pepper was at, but that was
Tony. The guy was hardly normal.
“I just want her to go away so things can go back to the way they were,” he
mumbled.
Jasper smiled at him with commiseration.
“I know the feeling,” he said, and Clint looked at him hopefully.
“Yeah?”
“It gets better. It’s Phil’s first serious girlfriend, right?”
Clint nodded.
“They probably want to spend all their time together right now because it’s new
and exciting, but give it time. Phil will remember spending time with his
friends is important too. Maybe it won’t be exactly like before but I’m sure
things will settle down soon.”
Jasper was right. Eventually Phil began spending time with Clint and the rest
of his friends again. Sometimes Becky was there, sometimes she wasn’t, but that
was okay. Clint was getting used to her and he had Phil back, which was all
that really mattered.
Then the two of them broke up just before the summer vacation and Clint felt
incredibly relieved.
His relief, however, was only temporary as the start of his sophomore year
brought a new challenge in the form of one Steve Rogers.
Clint knew who Steve was, everyone did. Back when Clint had been in 8th grade,
Steve and his best friend, Bucky – both students at SHIELD and a year above
Phil – had been in a car accident. Bucky had lost an arm and Steve had been in
a coma for a while – some said a couple of months, some said a year – before he
woke up. According to the gossip mill, Steve had dragged Bucky out of the car
before going back for Bucky’s mom and the car had exploded when he had still
been too close, knocking him out almost for good. It had been, everyone agreed,
nothing sort of heroic and something of a miracle too, considering how scrawny
Steve had been at the time of the accident.
It was hard to look at Steve now and imagine him as scrawny. Some students
whispered the doctors must have given him something to make him look like that
but that was just stupid. It must have taken him months of PT to get back to
normal after he had woken up and if he had wanted to keep up with it after
that, Clint said good for him.
Or at least that was what he said until he realised Phil looked at Steve like
he hung the moon. Then it became very much not okay.
He got it though. Despite everything he had gone through, Steve was funny and
kind and smart and artistic – really, the list went on and on –, with a strong
sense of right and wrong that sometimes got him into trouble and he hadn’t even
waited to become big and strong for that. He was like a real-life Captain
America – hell, he even looked like him – and it was no wonder Phil liked him.
Steve was also an omega and stupidly perfect despite his size, and Clint
thought it was all blatantly unfair.
And nothing like watching Phil and Becky together.
Clint was forced to admit – if only to himself – that his feelings for Phil had
changed. He wasn’t sure when it had happened or how or why but that at some
point between listening to Phil wax poetic about Becky and now, the thought of
Phil wanting to date someone else was no longer welcome. Clint woke up from
dreams involving his best friend with sticky boxers and whenever he jerked off
Phil was all he could think about, his mind always going back to him as he felt
himself get a little wet. That made spending time with Phil kind of awkward,
with Clint half-terrified of getting an erection at the wrong moment, but at
the same time not spending time with Phil felt much worse. It was all very
strange and Clint had no idea how to deal with it.
He felt so confused and the worst part was he couldn’t even talk to Phil about
it. He had always been able to go to him and tell him everything that was on
his mind but that wasn’t an option anymore. Clint missed that.
He supposed he could have taken his own advice, scrounged up his courage and
asked Phil out, but he was slowly realising it wasn’t as simple as that. He had
years of friendship in the balance and he was afraid of what would happen if
Phil said no – because he would say no, right? If Phil liked him that way,
surely Clint would have noticed by now. Wait, did that mean Phil had noticed
how Clint felt? He really hoped not.
The whole thing would have been a lot easier without Steve Rogers constantly
reminding him he would never be good enough.
Clint wasn’t proud of it. Steve was so nice and he definitely deserved a break.
But it was hard to watch Phil blush and get all tongue-tied around him. Clint
tried not to let it show because the last thing he needed was Phil thinking he
hated the guy. He didn’t, okay? It was just… complicated.
He knew it was stupid. Steve was friendly but it was hard to tell if he was
interested in Phil or not. And Clint couldn’t even tell whether Phil actually
had a crush on him or if it was some weird projected Captain America hero
worship. Not that it mattered either way: in the end, Phil simply wasn’t
interested in Clint.
That didn’t do anything good to Clint’s self-esteem and he struggled a little,
wondering around the house aimlessly and spending more time with Kate who
thought he was being ridiculous. Melinda and Jasper figured it out – of course
they did – and refused to let him flounder. It helped to have them around, even
if they kinda had to say nice things to him. They were his parents after all.
Maybe another 15 year old would have scoffed at that but Clint hadn’t had them
for that long and he wasn’t ready to throw them aside just yet, mandatory
teenage rebellion or not.
Of course, not all advice was welcomed.
“There will be other boys, Clint,” Jasper told him one day. “I know it doesn’t
feel like it now but you’re going to meet so many people in your life. You’ll
fall in love with someone else.”
“I’m not in love with anyone now,” Clint muttered and Jasper dropped the
subject.
Clint wasn’t sure he believed him anyway.
He was still torn between avoiding Phil and spending all his time with him but
of course Phil hadn’t gotten that memo. He was completely oblivious and that
pissed Clint off a little. It was Phil. He knew everything. Why couldn’t he
figure it out and fix everything? Or, you know, at least put Clint out of his
misery?
One evening, fed up with the whole thing, Clint closed his book with a loud
thump and glared at him.
“Why don’t you ask him out already?” he asked and Phil looked honestly
confused.
“Asked who out?” he said.
“Steve.”
Phil flushed pink. “I don’t want to ask him out. I’ve got to focus on school
and college applications.”
Momentarily derailed, Clint blurted out: “Already?” Phil was a junior, college
was miles away.
“Yeah, I’m meeting with the guidance counsellor next week, we’re going to go
over schools.”
“Right.”
Clint glared at his textbook unhappily. Of course Phil was going to go to
college. He was too smart not to and Clint knew he had wanted to study history
for as long as he had known him. It wasn’t like he had expected him to change
his mind, but still. He didn’t want to think about him leaving.
“What about you?” Phil asked suddenly and Clint looked up to find him seemingly
absorbed with his pencil.
“What about me?”
“Is there anyone you like at school?”
Clint shrugged. “Not really,” he mumbled, all the while feeling his face change
colour and hating more than ever that he could turn bright red at the drop of a
hat.
He was pretty sure Phil caught the lie but thankfully he didn’t press for more
details. They went back to doing homework, studiously avoiding each other’s
eyes.
By the time his birthday came around, Clint was on a more even keel. He was
still pining – he had heard Jasper describe it like that once and it had stuck
– but he had gotten used to it. Phil was still his best friend and Clint wasn’t
going to let anything interfere with that, least of all himself. Besides, Phil
had been spending a lot of with him lately – maybe he had noticed Clint had
been a little down – and he had gotten better around Steve.
The same, however, couldn’t be said about his relationship with Bucky.
While Steve had been incorporated smoothly into Phil’s group of friends when he
had been held back a year after the accident, Bucky had made it a point to
remain an outsider – a little like Clint, although in his case it was by virtue
of being in a different grade and having his own group of friends. In the early
days, back when Phil had spent most of his time with Steve, this had meant that
whenever Clint had hung out with Phil and his friends, he and Bucky had tended
to gravitate together as the odd ones out.
Bucky, it turned out, was angry a lot and at a lot of things. He covered most
of it by pretending he didn’t care, a coping mechanism Clint was intimately
familiar with, although Bucky wasn’t very good at it – or maybe he was too
angry to make it work. He also didn’t like Phil very much, which Clint quickly
picked up on. As a result, the first few months of what eventually developed
into a tentative friendship had been rocky at best, Clint and Bucky snapping
and snarking at each other continuously. Tony had called it their mating song
and Phil had threatened to taze him if he didn’t shut up. Clint though had
ignored him – he liked Bucky and he didn’t care what anyone thought. Besides,
the guy was a pretty good shot with his artificial arm and it was nice to have
some new blood at the archery club – Clint’s friendly rivalry with Kate could
certainly use some spice.
Phil though… Phil didn’t like Bucky and Clint wasn’t sure why. At first he had
figured it was because he was another alpha who was always with Steve but as
time went by he didn’t know anymore.
Everything came to a head at the archery state championship in March. Clint had
won first place with Bucky placing third, and after they received their trophy
Bucky wrapped his arms around him and lifted him up in the air in a bear hug.
Clint laughed and hugged him back. It was the first time he had seen Bucky
genuinely happy and when the other boy put him down there was a devilish grin
lurking on his face.
“Don’t you dare!” Clint told him but Bucky didn’t listen, pulling him close to
drop a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Clint made a face and pushed him back, wiping
his face exaggeratedly.
“Aw, don’t be like that,” Bucky said, laughing as he took another step towards
Clint.
“So that’s how it is,” someone said loudly.
There was a beat of confused stillness before they all turned towards the
voice, the alpha senior who had come second.
“Fucking your way to the top like a good little omega – not that you’re much of
one, what with the way you look.”
“Fuck off,” Clint snarled. He hated sore losers.
“But I didn’t get my fuck yet,” he taunted. “Guess you were too busy with all
the judges and your little boyfriend there. Did they fuck you with their eyes
closed? I guess any hole will do.”
Clint’s hands balled into fists as he felt his face burn with embarrassment.
Walk away, he told himself, just walk away. But his legs felt like lead and he
couldn’t move.
“Yeah, well I still beat you, didn’t I?” he said because at least his mouth
still worked just fine.
The guy took a menacing step towards him and then Phil was right there,
stepping between them and shoving him back.
The other alpha looked comically surprised. “What’s your problem?”
“You are.”
A loud whistle from the spectators stand broke up the fight before it could
even start and they all looked up to see Melinda striding towards them.
“You,” she pointed at the alpha. “Sit your ass down.”
He opened his mouth – probably to say something stupid about betas not giving
him orders – but her glare convinced him otherwise. Jasper was hurrying in
their direction too, having made a detour to grab the head of the organisation
committee and the other guy’s coach. The mood had drastically changed, no
longer the relaxed atmosphere it had been less than a minute ago, and Clint’s
victory now tasted sour in his mouth. He stalked off angrily towards the exit,
unable to deal with the way everyone was staring at him.
Melinda said his name sharply and then there were running footsteps behind him
but Clint didn’t slow down, not until he had reached the parking lot. Only then
did he turn around, a little surprised to see Phil.
Phil.
Clint was pissed at him too for stepping in like Clint couldn’t handle himself
– or maybe he wasn’t, not really, but Phil sure made a convenient target. He
was there, after all.
“What the fuck, Phil?” he shouted. “I can take care of myself!”
Phil took a step back, clearly not expecting his outburst.
“I know you can,” he said, trying for conciliatory, but Clint wasn’t in the
mood to be soothed. “That guy was being an asshole. He’s going to be
suspended.”
“Yeah? And what’s that going to change?” Clint asked bitterly.
Phil looked at the ground. “I’m sorry.”
Just like that, Clint deflated, running a frustrated hand through his hair.
“No, don’t… don’t apologise, okay?”
A tense silence followed until Phil gave a short nod.
“Do you want me to get Bucky?” he asked and Clint had to blink at the non-
sequitur.
“What does Bucky have to do with anything?” he said, genuinely confused.
“Well, aren’t you and him–” Phil trailed off, gesturing awkwardly, and it took
Clint a few seconds to understand what he meant.
He couldn’t help it, he laughed. And then stopped at the hurt look Phil shot
his way.
“Phil, Bucky and I aren’t together. I would have told you if we were.” Duh.
“Besides, Bucky isn’t interested in me like that.”
Phil frowned. “Why not?”
What the– “Why isn’t he interested? I don’t know!”
Phil looked crest-fallen and Clint had absolutely no idea what was going on.
Also he was pretty sure Melinda and Jasper were going to burst through the
doors any second now to check on him and he really needed to know what was
going on inside Phil’s head.
“Look, Phil, what’s going on?”
“If you like him, you should–”
“Wait, wait, wait. You think I like Bucky?”
It was Phil’s turn to look confused. “You don’t?”
“Well, sure I do, he’s my friend. But I don’t like like him, if that’s what you
mean.” And great, now Clint was started to sound like a twelve year old.
“Oh. That’s… good.”
Clint blinked, and a new-found confidence blossomed in his chest. Because there
was a very simple explanation for Phil’s behaviour if Clint let himself believe
it. After all, it was remarkably similar to his own during the whole Steve
debacle, and:
“Why is it good?” he asked, taking a tentative step closer.
Phil straightened, squaring his shoulders determinedly. “I like you. I like you
and I can’t stop thinking about you and I didn’t want to say anything because I
didn’t want to ruin everything and I thought you and Bucky –”
“Phil.” Clint interrupted the flow of words before he got too rambly and Phil’s
mouth clicked shut as he looked at Clint with a mix of hope and terror. “Ask me
if I want to go see a movie with you.”
Phil’s smile transformed his face into something beautiful, his eyes crinkling
around the corners, and Clint smiled back helplessly.
“Clint. Would you like to go see a movie with me?”
“Yes, Phil, I would love to.”
They were still staring at each other like the besotted idiots they were when
Melinda and Jasper turned up with the rest of the gang in tow. Melinda gave
Phil a pointed look that made him fidget a little and Jasper hugged Clint,
muttering about idiot alpha teenagers – probably not about Phil –, and Clint,
well.
Despite everything, Clint couldn’t stop smiling.
---
They did go to the movies. Truth be told, Clint didn’t remember a lot about the
film itself because at some point during the trailers Phil cautiously took his
hand and laced their fingers together, and that was all Clint could think about
for a while – until he realised the couple two rows ahead was making out rather
enthusiastically and then that became his new obsession. He glanced at Phil
surreptitiously, trying to see if he had noticed, and saw he was looking too.
Maybe…
“Phil,” he whispered, leaning towards him so he would hear. He hadn’t meant to
get so close – had he? – but somehow he had and when Phil turned his head
towards him, their noses bumped together.
They both froze, staring at each other’s mouth, and:
“Can I kiss you?” Phil said and Clint nodded dumbly, watching entranced as Phil
licked his lips.
It occurred to Clint a second too late that maybe he should have done the same
but then Phil’s mouth was brushing against his, soft and a little hesitant
until Clint pressed back and Phil grew bolder. It was better than everything
Clint had ever imagined and he barely bit back a whimper when Phil ran his
tongue over Clint’s lower lip. Clint may not have kissed anyone before but he
had seen enough movies to know what to do next. He opened his mouth and that
was all the invitation Phil needed to thrust his tongue inside.
Clint moaned loudly.
“Shhh,” Phil said, pulling back and furtively glancing around to see if the
noise had attracted anyone’s attention. It hadn’t.
“We’ve got to be quiet,” he added anyway, looking flushed and breathing a
little fast, and Clint nodded frantically – yes, yes, he could be quiet.
He leaned back into Phil to recapture his mouth so that he was the one kissing
him this time, more eagerness than skills but Phil didn’t seem to mind, kissing
him back just as enthusiastically. Clint never wanted to stop, but eventually
it got to the point where he knew they had to or things would get very
embarrassing. He pulled away reluctantly and found himself caught in the sight
of Phil instead, amazed that they were finally here.
“We’re missing the movie,” he whispered and Phil smiled, his eyes crinkling in
that way Clint loved. He kissed his cheek quickly before resolutely turning
back towards the screen. A second later, Phil did the same, reaching out for
his hand again, and Clint felt so happy he thought his smile would split his
face in two.
For days and weeks Clint felt like he was walking on air. He and Phil stole
kisses whenever they could and quickly grew bolder, making out in whichever
bedroom they were in while keeping an ear out for parents or sisters. The
adults weren’t duped but they seemed to be in a mind-set of resigned
acceptance. “Better at home than in the back of a car,” Clint had overheard
Melinda say one evening and he had promptly run away to die of embarrassment in
his room as soon as he had understood what she was talking about. He really
didn’t want to listen to his parents discussing his sex life.
Not that he had much of one yet.
In fact, the first time he and Phil had sex was almost an accident. It was date
night and Melinda and Jasper had gone out for dinner, which meant Clint and
Phil were making out on the couch instead of watching a DVD like they were
supposed to.
They started sitting side by side, but the angle was awkward and putting a
crick in Clint’s neck. After some manoeuvring, he dragged Phil on top of him so
that they were face to face and the other boy straddled his thighs. It was much
better and they traded lazy kisses that had none of their usual urgency. For
once, they had all the time in the world.
Things eventually got hot and heavy – they were teenagers, after all – and
Clint found himself getting hard. It had been happening with increasing
frequency when he was with Phil and was a source of endless embarrassment. The
last thing he wanted was to freak Phil out and so he tried to keep his lower
body away from Phil so he wouldn’t notice. That turned out to be easier than it
should have been and a quick glance down told him why. Phil appeared to be in
the same predicament he was, doing his best to keep his hips angled away from
Clint.
The knowledge that he had made Phil hard made something inside Clint clench
helplessly and he surged against him, pressing back blindly against Phil’s
mouth. The sudden movement caught Phil off guard and he almost fell off Clint’s
lap, Clint’s fast reflexes rescuing him at the last second with the unintended
consequence of pulling their bodies flushed against each other – all over.
Phil groaned and grinded down against him – and oh, that felt good – and then,
to Clint’s dismay, froze.
“Sor–” Phil started to apologise but Clint cut him off with a sound kiss.
“Again,” he said breathlessly.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
There wasn’t much talking after that, just the two of them panting against each
other’s mouth as they thrust and grinded and tried to make the other feel as
good as they did, until even that disappeared in the race towards the finish
line. Everything felt so good and Clint wasn’t sure how it was even possible
but he didn’t care because Phil was right there those making helpless little
sounds and–
Things got a bit blurred when Clint came, eyes closed and head thrown back, and
it didn’t take long before Phil was following suit and slumped against him.
“I hadn’t done that before,” Phil confessed after their laboured breathing had
returned to normal.
“Me neither,” Clint said, though Phil probably knew that already.
Phil pulled back a little and frowned comically at the wet spot on his jeans.
Clint grinned, inexplicably elated, though his own boxers felt kinda gross,
sticky at the front and back – shit, he hoped he wasn’t leaving a mark on the
couch.
“I can lend you some pants if you want,” he said and Phil nodded gratefully. No
doubt he didn’t want to go home and risk running into anyone like that.
They disentangled themselves from each other slowly and went upstairs, Clint
changing in his bedroom while Phil went to the bathroom, neither of them quite
ready to get undressed in front of the other just yet.
It was weird to imagine Phil in Clint’s boxers and pants but considering what
they had just been up to maybe it shouldn’t be. At least they had managed to
find a pair of jeans that fit Phil okay, and as long as no one looked at them
too closely they probably wouldn’t notice anything amiss.
Phil bundled his clothes into his backpack and they went back downstairs. By
the time Melinda and Jasper came home they were back on the couch, holding
hands innocently. They probably didn’t fool anyone, but Clint was too happy to
care.
The next time was more deliberate. They were in Phil’s bedroom, his house much
less crowded now that two of his sisters had left for college. On this
particular day, Phil’s parents were driving his younger sister to her
volleyball competition and Clint and Phil had showed just enough fortitude to
finish their more pressing homework before migrating to the bed, the two of
them lying side by side and kissing softly until:
“You want to?” Clint asked, his fingers playing with Phil’s waistband, and Phil
nodded eagerly.
It didn’t take long to push their jeans and underwear down far enough to allow
them access. They took a few seconds to study each other and then Clint,
feeling bold, wrapped his hand around Phil’s cock. Phil gasped and
reciprocated, and fuck, how could that feel so different from his own hand?
They started slowly and quickly picked up the pace as they both gained
assurance, pre-come making everything easier. It felt so amazing that Clint
even forgot he could be kissing Phil, too caught up in watching instead. That
was Phil’s cock and Phil’s hand on his cock, and Clint found himself making
noises he had never made before, breathy whimpers that turned into full-blown
moans as he got closer and closer to the brink, culminating in a shout that he
buried into Phil’s shoulder, overwhelmed.
It took him a while afterwards to remember he had been jerking Phil off and
longer still to get his hand to start moving again, determined to make Phil
come.
“Clint, ClintClintClint,” Phil babbled at each pull of Clint’s hand, and Clint
took advantage of the fact that he could now string two thoughts together to
kiss him, making it as hot and dirty as he knew how even with Phil’s sudden
lack of coordination.
“Come on, come on,” he said, both encouragement and order, and Phil clutched at
his back and came, leaving Clint to feel inordinarily proud of himself.
And so it went on. They weren’t particularly subtle about it and Clint earned
himself another embarrassing talk with Melinda and Jasper, which he recounted
to Phil in great detail – no point in being the only one to suffer here. Phil
retaliated with a rendering of his parents’ own version, and Clint groaned and
buried his face into his pillow before deciding he could put it to better use
and pummelled Phil with it.
However, whatever embarrassment they may have felt at the thought that their
families knew exactly what they were getting up to wasn’t enough to stop them
and every occasion soon became an opportunity to experiment with their bodies.
It wasn’t always successful and they learned what worked and what didn’t for
them – separate and together –, but it was always fun.
Clint’s first attempt at a blowjob was one such learning experience and a
particularly messy one at that. All he had to rely on was how good it had felt
when Phil had done it to him and so he set out to do his best to replicate it.
As it turned out, he was a little too good at it and Phil only remembered to
warn him he was close at the very last second. Clint didn’t move out of the way
quickly enough, resulting in Phil coming all over his face with a loud groan.
Clint was so shocked his mouth opened in a silent ‘o’ as more come painted his
lips, and when he looked up at Phil, there was a deep primal – alpha –
satisfaction in his eyes that made Clint’s heart pound. Then Phil blinked and
the moment was gone, the other boy turning beet red.
“Shit, Clint, I’m so sorry,” he said, attempting to clean Clint’s face with his
fingers before realising he was only making a bigger mess and grabbing a tissue
instead.
Clint still hadn’t moved from his position on the floor and so Phil kneeled
next to him, wiping his face with quick, jerky motions. He looked positively
mortified and Clint decided it wasn’t a good look on him at all. Besides, if he
was perfectly honest it had been kind of hot to make Phil lose control like
that.
“Sorry,” Phil said again, quieter this time as his movements slowed, and Clint
made sure he was looking at him before he deliberately licked his lips to get a
taste – actually it wasn’t that bad, maybe he would try swallowing next time.
The action made Phil’s eyes go huge and he crashed into Clint in an effort to
kiss him senseless, sending the two of them sprawling on the floor.
All in all, not bad for a first try, really.
---
At the end of the school year, Melinda and Jasper decided to have Phil over for
dinner.
“It’s been a while,” Melinda said pointedly and Clint had no choice but to pass
on the invitation, hoping they would behave themselves.
He didn’t need to have worried. Dinner went very well, the discussion centring
on school and how Phil’s sisters were doing – until dessert, when Jasper asked
Phil what his plans for the summer were.
“I’m going to look at campuses again – I already went with my parents in April
but I wanted to take another look by myself,” Phil explained, the excitement
barely contained in his voice. “Then I guess I’ve got to start writing my
application essays.” He didn’t sound nearly as enthused about that, and Jasper
segued into talking about his application essays, the conversation getting very
college-oriented.
Clint pushed the food around on his plate and tried not to let it bother him.
He always felt vaguely anxious when Phil talked about college, keenly aware
that he wouldn’t be there with him, stuck in high school instead. Thinking
about it had been bad enough back when they had just been friends, but now…
Well, now it felt like he had so much more to lose.
He was almost relieved when Phil went home, and he escaped to his room as soon
as he had finished clearing the table.
Melinda found him huddled on his bed half an hour later. He heard her sigh and
then the bed dipped as she sat next to him.
“Clint, you need to accept that Phil is going to go to college.”
“I know he is,” Clint muttered. That was the whole problem.
“You know it but you don’t accept it.”
“So what?” Clint rolled onto his back and looked at her incredulously. “I’m
supposed to be happy that he’s going to go away and leave me behind?”
“You don’t know what will happen,” she said sternly and Clint looked away.
“Maybe you guys will break up or maybe you won’t. Either way, if you keep
worrying about it now instead of enjoying what you have, you’ll end up
resenting him and that will make both of you miserable.”
Okay, Clint could see her point.
“Phil being excited about it doesn’t mean he isn’t going to miss you when he
goes,” she added, hitting right on target.
“Yeah?” His voice wobbled a little and Melinda ruffled his hair.
“You know him better than I do. What do you think?”
He nodded. “I’ll try.”
“Good.” She kissed the top of his head and left him alone.
Clint sat up, trying to sort his thoughts out. The curtains to Phil’s bedroom
were closed but that was okay. Clint needed to think.
Intellectually he knew Melinda was right. He couldn’t worry about Phil going to
college now. It was still over a year away, who knew what would happen in the
meantime? Not that thinking they might break up before it all came to pass
helped any, but still. Clint would have to try to stay focused on the present,
and when he failed he could always count the days between the school breaks
during which Phil would come and visit. It would only be one year, after all,
and then Clint could join Phil wherever he ended up.
They would make it work.
After all, Clint didn’t need to go to college. Phil always said he should
become a professional archer and win the Olympics, and while that may sound
tempting sometimes, what Clint really wanted to do was to become a cop. He
hadn’t told Phil yet, and he hadn’t told Melinda and Jasper. It just wasn’t the
right time: Melinda had just gone back into the field and things were a little
tense at the moment. Jasper worried, and so Clint worried too, and he didn’t
want to add to the general anxiety by announcing that he planned on putting
them through that with him too.
The good thing was, he didn’t need to go to college to join the police academy,
though he couldn’t apply until he was 21 either. He wasn’t sure what he’d do
‘til then. Melinda and Jasper would probably insist he go to college anyway and
he could probably get an archery scholarship if he won Nationals again next
year. Or maybe he could find a job somewhere, teach archery to kids or
something – he would worry about that later.
Either way, he could be with Phil and everything would be as it was now.
By the time Phil came back from his campus tour, Clint had more or less gotten
his mind around things. But he must have been a little quiet when they had
talked on the phone during his trip and Phil must have noticed because after a
thoroughly mutually enjoyable handjob against Clint’s bedroom door, they
stumbled onto the bed to catch their breath and Phil wrapped himself around
Clint.
“You okay?” he asked and Clint wormed himself closer.
“Yeah. I just missed you, is all,” he said and resolutely did not think about
how much he would miss Phil when he went away for real.
“Me too.”
Silence followed, the atmosphere suddenly heavy and almost sombre, until Clint
cleared his throat:
“So, how was the tour? Is your number one still the same?”
Phil nodded, some enthusiasm returning to his face. Like the huge dork he was,
Phil refused to say out loud which college he hoped to get in the most in case
it jinxed his chances and Clint humoured him because he thought it was cute. As
Phil animatedly recapped all the reasons why his first choice was the best,
Clint was able to smile and nod along in all the right places.
“I mean, they might not want me obviously but–”
“Of course they’ll want you,” Clint interrupted. Who in their right mind
wouldn’t want Phil? He was top of his class and chaired so many clubs Clint
sometimes wondered how they managed to see each other.
“You have to say that though, you’re my boyfriend.”
Clint snorted and kissed him swiftly to quash any lingering doubt.
“You’ll get in,” he said again and Phil hugged him close.
“You… You’ll come and visit, right?” he asked hesitantly against Clint’s
shoulder, the words almost muffled but not so much that Clint didn’t hear.
“Yes!” The word burst out of him before he could stop himself, relieved beyond
words that Phil would ask. Because it meant Phil had been worried too and most
importantly that he wanted him there. Of course Clint would come and see him.
He felt Phil relax against him and when he looked at him Phil was smiling like
a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
“Oh, good. I can’t wait to show you around, it’s going to be so great.”
“Yeah?” Clint said and Phil nodded eagerly.
“You’ll love it. And all my choices have good archery teams,” he added a little
shyly.
Happiness slammed through Clint at how much thought Phil had obviously put into
it and he just had to kiss him again. And again.
Soon college thoughts were the furthest thing from their minds.
It was Phil’s birthday a couple of days later and then Melinda and Jasper were
off for their twentieth anniversary gift to themselves. They had asked Clint if
he wanted to come but he had begged off, figuring they could probably use some
time to themselves. Not that his motives were entirely pure, of course.
“Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do,” Jasper said before leaving and Clint made a
face because seriously, ew. Nothing like the thought of his parents having sex
to put him off it – then again, judging by the smirk on Melinda’s face, maybe
that had been deliberate on their part.
Luckily, the perspective of ten days alone with Phil was enough to distract him
quite thoroughly. Granted, Phil’s parents would be there to keep an eye on them
but they would be at work during the day and that left the door wide open to so
many possibilities.
Clint had plans.
They had talked about it a few times before, but neither of them had felt
ready, one way or another. Now Clint thought he was and he hoped Phil was too.
He brought the subject up on the second day, having spent most of the first
making good use of their short refractory period. What? He had missed his
boyfriend!
Phil was reading a book naked in Clint’s bed, which admittedly was a little
distracting, but Clint was on an important mission.
“So I was thinking…” he trailed off and Phil made an enquiring hum, not looking
up from his page.
That wouldn’t do.
He draped himself against Phil’s side and kissed him, making sure he had his
attention before he pulled away. Phil made a faint protesting noise and then
Clint said:
“You should fuck me.”
Phil dropped the book.
“Really?”
“Well, only if you want to, obviously.”
“Are you crazy? Of course I want to. But only if you’re sure.”
“Yeah.”
Phil kissed him again only to stop abruptly.
“Wait, did you mean right now?” he asked and Clint laughed.
“If you want.”
Phil got his thinky face on and Clint knew he was considering the pros and cons
of doing it now. A shiver crept down his spine.
“We can start slow and see how it goes, okay?” Phil offered, suddenly sounding
a little nervous, and Clint nodded encouragingly.
They lay down and there was a moment where they both sort of hovered, as though
they had never seen each other naked before, until Clint put his hand on the
back of Phil’s head and tugged him closer for a kiss.
Kissing was good. Kissing was normal. They were very good at kissing.
Clint felt Phil relax as the kiss deepened, his hands going down to caress
Clint’s chest and stomach and then–
“Hang on, let me grab the lube.”
Clint rolled his eyes. “We don’t really need it, remember?”
“Well, you know, just in case…”
“Don’t think it’s going to be a problem,” he said and grinned when Phil’s
pupils dilated in reaction. “Come here.”
He pulled Phil back to him and flipped them over so Clint was on top, grinning
down at Phil before going for another kiss. He kept it slow and lazy and let
his hands explore, encouraging Phil’s to do the same – and explore they did,
wandering down his spine to his ass, grabbing a handful each.
Clint hummed his approval and scouted up the bed a little to give him better
access, moaning at the drag of his half-hard cock against Phil’s stomach. One
of Phil’s hands trailed over his entrance and he ran his fingers over it, not
pushing inside or anything, just there, and yet it made Clint squirm, more
wetness rushing out to meet Phil’s fingers in anticipation.
“You’ve done it before?” Phil asked, breathing fast. He didn’t sound hesitant
anymore, just very turned on, and Clint nodded against his chest. He had. After
all, there were only so many times he could get wet while jerking off before he
did some experimenting of his own. It had been a little weird at first, but
eventually he had gotten very good at finding that spot that made him see
stars. These days when he wasn’t with Phil, he usually jerked off and fingered
himself at the same time, everything made impossibly hotter by imagining it was
Phil’s fingers – and lately his cock.
“Did you like it?”
“Yeah. Come on.”
Phil pushed a finger inside. He went a little too fast and the angle was
awkward, making Clint gasp at the burn, but he relaxed quickly, pressing a kiss
on Phil’s collarbone.
“Yeah, come on,” he said again and Phil started to move his finger back and
forth, slow and jerky at first before he got some of his usual assurance back
and things got a lot smoother. Clint felt like laughing, it was so awesome.
“Clint. Clint. How are you so wet?” Phil asked, sounding genuinely bewildered,
and Clint did laugh then because he had never thought there were a lot of
advantages to being an omega but making Phil sound like that was definitely
going into the win column.
“Another. Give me another,” he said and Phil almost unseated him in his
eagerness to comply, praises and curses intermingling as he worked two fingers
in and out of Clint.
“Yeah, that’s good,” Clint groaned, arching into it. “Try to… a little towards
the front –”
Phil seemed to understand his fumbling instructions and managed to find Clint’s
prostate after only a few tries. He then set out to exploit that spot
shamelessly, clearly loving the way it made Clint moan and jerk against him,
his ass clenching around his fingers. There was no way Clint was going to last
long after that, and yet his orgasm almost took him by surprise.
He came all over Phil’s stomach, shaking and crying out, Phil’s encouraging
words in his ear, and felt a little empty when Phil pulled his fingers out. He
kinda wanted them back, but first he slithered down Phil’s body and sucked his
cock into his mouth, smirking – or trying to – at the way it made Phil grab for
the sheets. Phil quickly lost that battle against himself, his hips twisting up
to fuck Clint’s mouth with much eagerness – not that Clint tried to stop him –
and it took Phil less than a minute to come down Clint’s throat, panting
harshly.
“That was awesome,” Clint said while Phil still looked a little hazy around the
corners. “Let’s do it again.”
So they did, as soon as Phil could move again, with Clint on his back and Phil
between his legs. The position made Clint feel a little exposed but it was Phil
so it was okay.
Two of Phil’s fingers slipped back into him effortlessly, but the third was
more of a stretch. Clint winced and Phil stilled until he gave him the go-
ahead. It was probably a good thing they had taken the edge off first and as it
was there was no need to rush, Phil barely moving his fingers at all until
Clint relaxed completely.
By the time he could take it easily they were both hard again and more than
ready.
“Now?” Phil asked, a little desperately, and Clint nodded.
Now.
With both of them on suppressants the chances of Clint getting pregnant were
nil but Phil still grabbed a condom, fumbling a little with it. Then he
positioned himself and, with one last searching look at Clint, pushed inside.
He went slowly but he felt a lot bigger than three fingers and Clint bit his
lip against a whine, willing himself to relax so the burn would go away. By the
time he was buried all the way inside him, Phil had his eyes closed and he
almost looked like he was in pain. Clint forgot his own discomfort, suddenly
worried something was wrong.
“You’re okay?” he asked and Phil gave a strangled laugh, blinking a couple of
times before looking at him.
“I’m great. You… God, Clint, you feel so good.”
Clint felt himself turn bright red at that and Phil ducked his head down to
kiss him. The kiss was sloppy and off-centre, and it made Clint smile against
his questing mouth.
“What about you?” Phil asked, staring intently at him. “Does it hurt? Do you
want to stop?”
Clint shook his head. It didn’t hurt, not really, but it felt a little weird,
Phil’s cock a solid weight inside him. He did like the intimacy of it though –
liked having Phil on top of him and part of him inside him. Liked the way Phil
was looking at him now.
“I’m good,” he said, and Phil kissed him again.
“Can I… Can I move?”
Clint thought about it for a second and nodded.
Phil pulled out a little and thrust back in, and Clint’s eyes widened at the
sensation.
“Okay?” Phil asked again.
“Yeah, don’t stop.”
“Tell me if –”
“Phil.”
Phil finally started moving for real, slow short thrusts that Clint was
grateful for at first but that quickly became not enough as he got used to it.
“Phil, come on, more,” he panted, hitching his legs higher around Phil’s back
and bucking against him. Phil made a sound very close to a whimper and shifted
to get better leverage. Then he started fucking Clint in earnest, deep and fast
and a little hard, and Clint keened loudly as he clung to him.
“Yes, yes, yes,” he babbled, because this was exactly what he wanted, and then
Phil tensed and sobbed a little.
“Clint, Clint, oh God, I’m gonna come, I’m gonna–”
Phil’s head snapped back as he shouted something unintelligible that may have
been Clint’s name, his hips jerking against Clint’s ass a couple of times
before going still. Clint had a second to feel inordinarily pleased along with
vaguely disappointed it was over before something else happened.
“What the… Fuck!”
“Sorry, sorry,” Phil panted. He tried to pull out but that only made it worse,
and Clint hissed in pain.
“Ow!”
“I’m sorry, I’m trying–”
“Well you’re making it worse! Will you just stop, we’re stuck!”
“Sorry,” Phil mumbled, going deadly still above Clint with his arms braced on
either side of him. Now that he had stopped moving the pain was lessening
rapidly, Clint’s body accommodating the knot like it was supposed to. Still:
“You’re supposed to be on suppressants,” Clint said accusingly. He had a
freaking knot inside him, he didn’t have to be gracious about it. This was so
not how he had thought his first time with Phil would go.
“I am!” Phil protested. “You know I am.” And okay, fine, Clint did know that.
“It just… happens sometimes,” Phil added, sounding miserable.
“It’d have been nice to know that beforehand,” Clint snarked because it
certainly hadn’t happened when they were together.
He tried to get more comfortable but it was kind of hard to with a huge knot up
his ass. Or at least it felt huge. Clint really had no idea.
Alphas, man. Biology sucked. He was never having sex again.
“I’m really sorry,” Phil said again, shifting slightly before freezing again at
Clint’s sharp intake of breath. “Are you okay? Does it hurt?”
“What do you think?”
“Oh.”
Phil’s lower lip wobbled. That freaked Clint out more than everything else.
“Phil, hey, no. Look, it’s not that bad. Let’s just… wait it out, okay?”
Phil sniffled. “Okay,” he said in a small voice, and they laid there in silence
for a while, studiously avoiding each other’s eyes. It was weird, considering
the position they were in, pressed together with Clint’s legs still wrapped
around Phil’s back. Clint had a sunken feeling that this was it. The end. Phil
was never going to talk to him again after this.
That thought made him bite the inside of his cheek hard and for a second he
felt like he was the one who was going to cry.
“Clint? What’s wrong?”
Of course Phil was looking at him now. Clint gave a watery laugh and if
anything that only made Phil look more concerned.
“Clint? Is it really horrible?” he asked, his voice catching a little, and
Clint shook his head.
“No, it’s just… You know.” He waved a hand at the two of them. “I’ve been
thinking about this for weeks and when we finally do it this happens and now
you’re probably going to break up with me –”
“What? I’m n–”
“– and I didn’t even get to come!”
Silence rang out in the room after his outburst and Clint squeezed his eyes
shut. This meant he didn’t see the look on Phil’s face or him leaning down.
Instead the next thing he knew was Phil’s lips crashing into his and Clint’s
eyes flew open in shock as he was thoroughly kissed. It took him a couple of
seconds to get on with the program, and when Phil pulled back he was smiling
and all Clint could manage was an intelligent “Whu?”
“I thought you were going to break up with me,” Phil explained, and Clint shook
his head in disbelief.
“I love you, why would I break up with you?” he wondered out loud, and Phil
gave a one shoulder shrug.
“Well I love you and I’m not going anywhere either.” He ignored Clint’s snort –
hey, it was good that he was finding humour in this mess, right? – and went on:
“Now as for that last part…”
Clint frowned, thinking back on what he had said – his frustrations had been
all jumbled up in his head and the words had just burst out in no particular
order –, and he flushed once he remembered. He hadn’t meant to say that. Back
when he had thought Phil was going to break up with him, that part had only
been a minor annoyance.
“Can I?” Phil asked hopefully, and Clint nodded.
Phil’s hand on his cock was as familiar as the knot wasn’t – though maybe he
was getting used to that too. Phil knew what he liked and how, and soon Clint
was rock hard again, moaning in Phil’s mouth as he jerked him off. He could
feel himself getting wetter around Phil’s cock too and felt embarrassed about
it for a split second before Phil made him forget all about it with a twist of
his wrist.
“How does it feel?” Phil asked breathlessly.
“Good, very good,” Clint panted.
“No, I mean… the knot.” Phil blushed, and Clint had to pause and think about it
for a second.
“I don’t know…” It was just right there, not doing anything. It didn’t hurt
anymore but Clint didn’t get what was supposedly so great about it either.
Maybe… “Can you try moving a little? Slowly?”
“Yeah.”
Phil’s first try was less than successful, causing Clint to yelp as he tried to
thrust. He quickly changed tactics, settling for a slow grind while barely
moving at all.
“Yeah, okay, that’s better,” Clint panted, before crying out when the edge of
the knot found his prostate.
“What, what’s wrong?” Phil asked panicky, freezing in just the right spot.
Clint’s mouth fell open in a silent scream as his entire body seemed to seize
up, his ass clamping down on Phil’s cock.
“Fuck, oh fuck, right there,” he managed to gasp and Phil got the message and
proceeded to make Clint lose his fucking mind. It didn’t take long, the
stimulation almost too much, and Clint came with a yell before blacking out.
He was still half out of it when Phil’s knot shrank enough to allow his cock to
slip out, making him whimper.
“Sorry,” Phil said again, and Clint swatted at him.
“Stop apologising,” he mumbled. “We’re definitely trying that again. Maybe
without the knot though.”
“It’s not like I did it on purpose,” Phil pointed out.
“Yeah, well, try harder next time.”
“You know, you could fuck me next time and we wouldn’t have that problem.”
Clint thought about it and: “Okay, yeah, we’re definitely doing that too.”
“Uh…”
“What?”
“Is now a good time to tell you the condom broke?”
A beat of silence, and then:
“Oh, come on!”
Clint’s life sucked.
(Okay, fine, it really didn’t.)
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