Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1059702.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Dragon_Ball
  Relationship:
      Son_Goku/Bra_Briefs
  Character:
      Son_Goku, Bra_Briefs, Son_Pan, Son_Gohan
  Additional Tags:
      Darkfic, Sexual_Content, POV_First_Person, OOC_Goku, Dark!Goku,
      Possessive_Behavior, Grooming, Controlling_Behavior, Angst, Smut,
      Kidnapping, Captivity, Emotional/Psychological_Abuse
  Series:
      Part 1 of The_Catharsis_of_Son_Goku
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-11-06 Completed: 2013-11-26 Chapters: 31/31 Words: 62825
****** A Walking Shadow ******
by Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
Summary
     Death brings out the evil in Earth's greatest hero.
***** One *****
There are two things in life that you cannot bargain for or against. When
you’re old enough to have a job, the most prominent at that point is taxes, an
inescapable and aggravating fact of earning money for yourself. Looking back,
I’m not sure how I ever became “normal” and managed to live alongside other
people. Half of me was a primitive beast waiting to erupt at any moment and
wreak havoc but I kept it under wraps when I began living on my own. There was
no other option.
The second inescapable fact of life is the reality of death. Sure you go on
living every day like you’re immortal but soon you’ll be faced by your own
morality; by the painful realization that you will not exist forever. Death
played a major role in my life around my sixteenth birthday and I was almost
torn to shreds by what it did to me. It wasn’t that I lost anyone important.
That didn’t happen for many years, thankfully. A vague entity in my life was
taken by the cold hands of death and well… that made someone else lose their
mind.
It’s hard for an immortal to understand that the people around him will
eventually turn to dust. They will disintegrate in the earth while he keeps
wandering its surface alone, doomed to live an eternity of regret. Sometimes,
the pressure of that realization becomes so great that they lose their mind and
in the process cause other people a tremendous amount of heartache. The dead
are pretty lucky if you think about it, because they don’t have to shoulder the
responsibility of life.
                            ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Bulla, I wish you’d put your phone down at the table.”
My fingers flew across the on-screen keyboard as I texted my friend, Valese
about what my plans were for my sixteenth birthday. First I needed to get my
learner’s permit to finally get some wheels on the road, then I needed to throw
a party in my basement, then I needed to convince my father to bring me out
shopping for some new clothes. So many things to do yet so little time. Teenage
life was tough.
Mom raised an eyebrow and glanced at my father, who was too busy examining the
newspaper to care. The constant years of peace had made everyone slow down a
lot. Dad mostly hung around with mom and I while Trunks was off training to
take over Capsule Corp. Being the only child was the greatest gift that had
ever been bestowed upon me, even better than getting a new car for my birthday.
I sent out my text to Valese and stuffed some cereal in my mouth.
A sharp jab in the ribs told my father he needed to man up and tell me to
listen to my mother. Vegeta cleared his throat and gestured vaguely at my
phone, keeping his eyes glued to the paper.
“Do what your mother says,” he said.
“Why?” I asked, obnoxiously chewing.
Dad huffed, starting to redden in the cheeks. “Because I said so. Put the phone
down before I smash it again. Or perhaps I’ll throw your car into the lake.
Kakarot’s granddaughter wouldn’t refuse her own vehicle to drive around in the
their backwoods little—”
“Don’t talk smack about Pan,” I said. “She’s becoming sort of cool. Just a
little, though. When Gohan finally caves and gets her a cell phone I might let
her into my circle.”
“Wasn’t Pan a… creepy nerd?” mom said as she rubbed dad’s back. “I think it’s a
mix of her growing up with Gohan and Goku so closely. Poor Videl tried to keep
her from becoming a tomboy but that didn’t work out too well. At least she has
a brain to carry her through life.”
The indirect insult didn’t bother me too much. I was a little lazy. Who cares?
I ate another mouthful of Cheerios and my phone vibrated loudly, making mom
sigh in exasperation. Dad hid his face behind the newspaper to avoid getting
involved in an argument but I leapt to my feet when I saw the name and headed
for the door. My friend Shoppa was outside waiting to pick me up and there was
no way I’d keep her waiting. Mom yelled something about me needing to take out
the trash.
When I got outside Shoppa pulled down her sunglasses to wink at me over the
edge and I climbed over the open car door to sit in the passenger seat. There
were a bunch of empty bags from different stores in the back which meant she
was in the mood to go shopping again. She played around with her short blonde
hair for a few moments and drew up the convertible top. I couldn’t wait to have
my own glossy red car at the end of the day. I’d drive myself to school, maybe
get a job. It’d be awesome.
“Happy birthday!” Shoppa squealed as we hit the highway. “Sixteen is the best.
Soon we can start driving around and blowing your gas instead of mine.”
I rolled my eyes and pulled down the mirror to check my makeup. It was a bit
off, but not too bad for how quickly I put it on. When I was out shopping I
needed to find the perfect outfit for my party. It needed to be something
dramatic but not too intense. I wanted to be the center of attention, not a
drama queen. Still, did it really matter? Everyone I went to Orange Star High
with was afraid to gossip about me because both of my parents were incredibly
powerful people.
The mall was a packed as usual when we arrived and I had to push my way through
the crowds with Shoppa to get to my favorite store. A few dresses caught my eye
and I brought them to the changing room to see if any of them fit. On the way,
I suddenly felt a heavy hand on my shoulder.
“Hi, Bulla!” said a familiar voice.
I turned to see none other than Son Goten standing behind me with Valese, who
immediately hugged me tightly. It didn’t really surprise me to see them
there—Valese loved shopping almost as much as I did and Goten loved Valese as
much as she loved wandering around the mall for five hours. It was still a bit
surprising to see Goten out and about with her. I hadn’t seen anyone from the
Son family for a few months now. Gohan and Videl had their hands full with Pan,
Goten worked to help support his parents and Goku… well, he was Goku. He was
always training for the next threat to attack Earth.
We chatted for a few minutes about my party and I invited Goten to come along
with Valese. Shoppa’s green eyes focused intently on my fellow half-Saiyan and
when they finally left, she let out a sigh like she’d been holding her breath
the entire time. Sure, Goten was attractive, but I didn’t like older guys very
much. He and Valese were perfect for each other in a lot of ways and it was
easier with her graduating high school in the next few months. I was still a
sophomore with years to go.
Yes, life was wonderfully simple most times. Things were about to get much more
complicated.
***** Two *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
The decorations for my party were being set up when Shoppa and I came home a
few hours later. I ran my new clothes upstairs while dad and Trunks worked on
hanging streamers—the faint sound of them arguing followed me until I shut my
bedroom door. Shoppa collapsed on my bed and sighed heavily as I set out the
clothes I’d be wearing for the party. I decided on black pants and a red shirt,
something that would really piss my parents off. Dad always scowled when I came
downstairs in “lecherous” clothes.
Shoppa twirled her hair around a finger lazily. “You better hurry up and get
ready. Everyone’s gonna be here soon and you do not want to go out dressed the
way you are. Hopefully your mom made some good food this time around instead of
that nasty junk from last time.”
“I keep forgetting you’re a five star chef,” I said. “She sent out for the food
this time so it’s gonna be fine. You just lay there and keep looking pretty,
okay?”
“No one needs your sarcasm, Bulla.”
I smirked and admired my reflection in the full-length mirror, twirling around
like a ballerina. Mom liked to say I’d inherited the best traits of her and
dad. My entire life I’d been told I was beautiful and perfect the way I was,
yet I still had the cynical nature of my father. Trunks was a bit gentler like
mom but he had toughened up a bit when he took over Capsule Corp, just to make
sure the business remained as successful as it had been for so many years. Less
was expected of me.
It didn’t upset me, though. I was happy to live a simple life with my parents
glancing over my shoulder for me and keeping everything in check. My grades
weren’t terrible, I had too many friends, and most importantly I was happy. The
Earth had been peaceful ever since Omega Shenron was defeated and everyone sort
of lapsed into normalcy after that. The last time we had seen the Son family
was at Pan’s twelfth birthday and Goku hadn’t even shown up. Chi-Chi spent the
whole night staring at her drink.
There was a knock on my door and I gave the visitor permission to enter. Trunks
peered inside, clearly afraid he might see Shoppa or I naked, then relaxed and
fully pushed open the door. He pushed his glasses up on his nose when Shoppa
smirked at him and I spritzed some perfume on my neck. If she gave one more guy
her famous “come hither” look, I was gonna throw her out.
“Everything’s ready downstairs,” Trunks said. “A few of your friends are
already here waiting for you. I have to head back to the office for a meeting
but I hope you two have fun tonight.”
“Thanks,” I said, fluffing my hair a bit.
“We always have fun,” Shoppa added.
Trunks nodded quickly and excused himself, vanishing from the room as quickly
as he came. Shoppa sighed like a deflating balloon and kicked her feet against
the frame of my bed. I turned back to the mirror to fix my makeup before I
headed downstairs. There was a tiny speck of blue sparkles next to my eye,
almost like a teardrop. It looked kind of dramatic so I decided to keep it and
stepped back to pirouette one more time, making sure everything about my outfit
was perfect.
“Finally!” Shoppa said when I opened the door. “I thought we were gonna die in
here.”
We ran downstairs to see my parents greeting even more guests. Well, mom was
doing the greeting while dad glared angrily. I hugged a few girls from school
and said hi to the guys to avoid looking “grown up” in front of my father.
Almost everyone I had invited decided to show up which meant we’d have a full
house down in the basement. I toyed with my hair and offered the plastic smile
my mother wore when people she only mildly liked came over to visit. Yes, she’d
taught me well.
The boom of music playing in the basement shook the floors and I could smell
the open boxes of pizza thanks to my incredible alien nose. Being half Saiyan
wasn’t something I was proud of—I didn’t want to learn how to fly, I didn’t
want to fight and I didn’t want to watch dad and Goku beat the crap out of each
other. The human in me was much stronger and yearned for the basics, like
friendship and routine. My stomach growled and I grimaced. My appetite was the
only thing I couldn’t change.
Dad caught my arm when I tried heading to the basement with Shoppa, but he
signaled for her to go and pulled me aside so I was directly between him and
mom. That was not a good place to be. It usually meant they had something
serious to say. Attacking me together was better than going at it alone,
especially because dad was a bit afraid to question me.
My mother’s bracelets jangled when she put a hand on my shoulder. “Bulla,
please be responsible. We’re trusting you to keep everyone in check, okay? No
alcohol, no drugs, and no sex. Your father can sense energy so don’t think
you’ll get away with it.”
I turned to look at dad. His eyes were closed and his arms were folded. Typical
position.
“Don’t worry, mom,” I said. “I’ll make sure no one does anything crazy.”
She searched my eyes for a few moments, hunting for a lie, then smiled and gave
me a gentle push toward the basement door. I winked at her and hurried down
with a pounding heart. This was it, my first genuinely important birthday. All
of my friends were at my house to celebrate with me and my parents trusted me
enough to let me hang out in the bottom of our house without their supervision.
There was no way my night could’ve gotten any more perfect.
The moment my feet touched the cement floor I was hugged fiercely by a girl
wearing a familiar orange bandanna. Pan didn’t let me go for a few seconds,
smiling and tangling her black hair while she nuzzled my shoulder. A few people
glanced at us and I peeled her off me, setting her not too gently on the floor.
She clasped her hands in front of her and beamed happily. Okay, so I lied. She
was still really weird and honestly needed to start dressing like a girl before
she was bullied to death.
Pan bit her lower lip, trying to contain her excitement. Her black eyes bored
into me. “Hiya, Bulla! Mom and dad said I could come to your party! They gave
me chips and soda to bring! And some CDs by a band called… uh… I think it says
something about lead…”
Dear god, Pan was such a dweeb. I set a hand on my hip as I glanced over her
outfit, wondering if there was any way to save her. The bandanna had to go of
course, along with the bogus fingerless gloves she wore. There was only a year
age difference between us and she never got the clue that being a teenager
meant you had to ditch the boy clothes. Gohan and Videl raised her in the
mountains, though, and her first year of public school at Orange Star was
sometime next year. So sheltered and simple.
“Great,” I said flatly. “Where’s your uncle and Valese?”
“Oh, they’re coming. Uncle Goten is gonna keep an eye on me and bring me home
later before he goes to sleepover at Valese’s house. Do you think I could sleep
over?”
“We’ll see. Take off the bandana and gloves first.”
A confused look was Pan’s reply until she realized what I was saying. While she
took off her favorite articles of clothing I moved on to get myself a soda,
praying that no one had snuck booze into the party. Dad could smell it no
problem even from upstairs and he’d throw everyone out if even a whiff of
alcohol reached him. I reached the drink table and was pleased to see it had
been decorated well—bright colors, no lame plastic tablecloth or red cups. It
looked both tasteful and youthful.
After I poured myself a drink, the night was nearly over.
For a while I slipped between different conversations, behaving like the social
butterfly I truly was. It was easy for me to pick up on important pieces in
chats and run with it to keep people interested. Combined with my mild case of
narcissism, I’d be a fantastic politician. Everyone was dressed to the nines
and the basement smelled like cheap perfume, giving it more of a whore-house
feel than a sweet sixteen as the minutes dragged on. Life was easy. It was
long. It didn’t seem to have an end. I smiled and laughed, I sipped soda; I
avoided Pan like the plague as she wandered around clinging her bandana.
The time was 9:04 PM when the worst happened.
The door flew open and dad came down the stairs so fast I was afraid someone
stupidly tried to sneak drugs into the party. His eyebrows were drawn together
not in anger, but… remorse? He briefly glanced at me as he pushed through the
crowd, moving people’s heads out of the way to find someone in particular. I
politely left my current chat and followed after, struggling to get past the
writhing bodies. It was getting late. People were antsy.
When I found dad he had grabbed Pan by the arm and was dragging her upstairs. I
knew better than to ask questions so I hurried after them while more than half
the party watched. Pan didn’t go quietly: she was annoyed and let it be known.
Her bandana fell on the floor on the way out.
At the top of the stairs the door was slammed shut and I could see my mother’s
shoulders noticeably shaking as she nodded her head to a conversation on the
phone. Dad let Pan go and looked away at the floor, apparently uncomfortable
with what was about to happen. My stomach was doing somersaults. What the hell
had gotten my father so upset? What did Pan do?
Mom turned around. She was sobbing so hard her mascara was staining her cheeks.
The phone buzzed into gradual silence and Pan wrung her hands nervously.
“Pan,” mom said, “your father is coming to get you.”
“What? Why?” Pan was really panicking now. “Is something wrong? I didn’t bring
anything in besides soda and chips like mom told me to. Please don’t be upset
with me, I swear—”
“Kakarot’s wife is dead,” my father snapped.
That was the beginning of the end.
***** Three *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
There were no words for a few moments after dad’s angry outburst. Mom stared at
Pan until her eyes started tearing up and quickly wiped them away so she didn’t
look weak. Dad clenched his jaw until his guilt gave in and he went over to hug
mom as she burst into tears. Pan made a weird choking sound.
“Grandma?” she said. “What… what happened to grandma?”
I had never known Chi-Chi very well but it definitely came as a shock that she
had actually died. Seeing mom so heartbroken was hard for me, too. I watched
dad pat her on the back with a grim look on his face and realized he was
equally as upset. They’d all been friends for years. It only made sense. There
was no other reason my father would be showing any kind of emotion.
“It was a heart attack,” dad said gruffly. “She died in her sleep. Kakarot woke
and noticed she wasn’t breathing, but it was too late by then. Her offspring
are already at the house.”
“Grandma can’t be dead,” Pan said. Her black eyes were terrified.
“Are you positive?” I asked, siding with Pan a bit. “That’s so sudden.”
Mom started crying even harder and I immediately shut up, afraid dad would give
me one of his famous death glares. Chi-Chi was seriously dead, gone beyond the
power of Shenron or even Goku. She had died from perfectly natural causes so
there was no way to bring her back again. As that fact set in Pan was suddenly
hugging me and sobbing, staining my new shirt with her tears. My back
immediately bristled but I sucked it up and gently embraced her after a minute.
Apparently my party was over.
We stood in the kitchen with mom and Pan wailing like it was the apocalypse
until the doorbell rang. Dad carefully extricated himself from my mother to go
downstairs and tell everyone to leave, which gave me the prestigious position
of letting the visitor inside. Whoever it was would be walking in on crying
fest that had no end in sight.
When I detached myself from Pan to answer the door she simply sank to the floor
and gripped her head as if it would explode. My mind was swimming from the
intense emotion I was seeing all around—never before had I seen so much pain at
one time from anyone. I curled my hair behind an ear and pulled open our huge
front door just to be confronted by even more crying people.
Neither Videl nor Gohan had changed much over the years. They dressed like
adults now and styled their hair differently; the usual. Other than that, it
was like looking back into the past. I stepped aside when I saw Videl was
teary-eyed and she immediately headed for Pan, kneeling down beside her
daughter on the floor. Pan flung herself on Videl and the two started sobbing
even harder.
Gohan was stone-still. His black eyebrows were drawn together over even blacker
eyes, intently focused on remaining calm under stress. He nodded curtly to me
and stepped inside without saying a word. There was severe stiffness in the way
he walked. Reining in his emotions was a full-body endeavor that involved every
ounce of concentration; he couldn’t afford to slip up. His wife and daughter
were in hysterics. He couldn’t even cry over his own mother’s death.
The party downstairs quickly disbanded and headed out the way it came. Everyone
was solemn and murmured apologies through the door, which I merely nodded to.
The worst part of everything was seeing everyone else cry. Like I said, I
didn’t know Chi-Chi that well. She was mom’s friend and that was that. Nothing
else to the story.
When dad came back upstairs he gave Gohan a hard shake, communicating he
understood the position he was in. Gohan swallowed hard and tried to speak.
“The wake will be Sunday,” he said. “Dad doesn’t want to see an open casket so
we’re buying her right after. The doctors said she died peacefully, which we’re
all happy about. But we all need to keep an eye on dad and pitch in to help him
when he needs it. Mom took good care of him so he isn’t used to being on his
own. I hope it isn’t too much to ask.”
“Of course not,” dad said a bit coldly. “Kakarot has saved the entire universe
several times. I think we can all sacrifice some time to give him the help he
needs.”
Mom was sniffling now. Her face was puffy and red. “Anything. Bulla can help
with laundry and dishes and I’ll be more than happy to send over Goku-sized
meals every day. How’s your brother doing, Gohan?”
“He’s over at the house with dad and Valese. He’s crying just as much as dad.”
Gohan ran a hand through his spiky hair and tugged on his tie. He definitely
wanted to cry, too. “Mom was talking about all of us getting together for
Bulla’s birthday. I feel bad. She liked when we were all together.”
It annoyed me a little that they were passing off some of the blame on me. What
was I supposed to do, invite everybody and their brother to my party? Chi-Chi
would’ve had a heart attack either way. And who said I wanted to deal with
Goku’s nasty dishes and clothes? I had other obligations besides the lives of
my mother’s friends. Dad sat home all day. He could do something, too.
I was sent up to my room to get changed so we could all visit Goku together and
make sure he was feeling okay. Black wasn’t necessary until the wake but I put
on darker colors so I didn’t look completely obnoxious. As I checked my
reflection I noticed the teardrop glitter was still next to my eye. It couldn’t
hurt to leave it where it was.
When I came back downstairs everyone was ready for the flight. Pan had fallen
asleep in Gohan’s arms and Videl looked equally as exhausted. Dad had an arm
around mom as we took off into the air, flying slowly toward Mt. Paozu.
Everyone in our flying formation looked incredibly depressed except for me. I
honestly felt left out of the depression. Everyone else actually knew Chi-Chi.
We flew through the cool September wind, followed by trails of whirling leaves
until we arrived at Goku’s house. There was smoke curling from the chimney to
meet up with the black sky and I secretly thought the setting couldn’t be any
more perfect. She died at such a dramatic point. It was when summer gave way to
fall, where trees dropped their leaves to begin anew the next spring.
Everyone crammed their way into the small house. A few candles were lit to
stave off the encroaching darkness that further brought down everyone’s mood. I
stuck close to my parents as movement was heard from upstairs and waited for
the widow to make his way down. The footsteps dragged a lot. Someone murmured
to him and he trudged down the steps, giving us a view of his blue training
boots before Goku himself appeared in the flesh.
The savior of Earth certainly looked haggard. His hair was even more unkempt
than usual and he had the same puffy red face my mother sported. Normally he
stood tall and proud with his shoulders squared but he was hunched like a
cripple, practically leaning on Goten for support. His youngest son nodded
toward Valese and she helped Goku sit in a small armchair. His bottomless black
eyes bored into the floor as we all moved closer to give the illusion of
comfort. There was no relief for him.
My mother once again burst into tears and flung herself on Goku, hugging him
tightly around the neck. Dad didn’t even blink as they fully embraced. He knew
they had a long history. It had been the three of them for a long time—just
him, Bulma and Chi-Chi. I clasped my hands politely in front of me.
“We called Krillin,” Goten said hollowly. “He’s coming down Sunday with 18 and
Marron. Same goes for Yamcha and Tien. I’m sure Piccolo already knows and he
might come. Emotions scare him.”
“I could’ve told you that,” said Gohan.
“Goku, please stay at my house tonight,” mom said, releasing him from the hug.
“You need the support of your friends. You shouldn’t be out here alone in the
wilderness. We can have a big breakfast tomorrow in honor of Chi-Chi.”
No response. Goku just nodded, now gaining the thousand-yard stare.
After that there was a lot of talk about the funeral that I really didn’t want
to hear. Growing up around the Dragon Balls meant death wasn’t a possibility
for me, but there I was, seeing it before my own eyes. I excused myself to go
sit outside on the steps for a breath of fresh air. It helped clear away the
guilt I was feeling over Chi-Chi dying on my birthday. If only we had made the
effort to see the Son family more often, maybe it wouldn’t have happened.
While I was sitting there gazing at the thick line of trees the door opened
again and another body sat beside me. Dad rested his arms on his knees and
heaved a sigh. Yet another thing I never heard out of his mouth. Geeze, he was
really losing it over this woman dying.
“It bothers me that we have so much in common,” he said.
“I’ve never been much of a crier.”
“Well you’d better learn how. This woman meant the world to your mother. I want
to see a few tears come out of those eyes, especially during the wake.”
“Look, I barely knew her.” I leaned my weight on my palms to look up at the
sky. “That’s the only reason I’m not crying. Eveyone here knew her well besides
me. I bet Marron won’t cry, either so quit being so critical of something as
dumb as tears.”
“I’m asking for an effort, Bulla. For a half-Saiyan you hide your emotions very
well.”
Annoyed, I got to my feet and dusted off to head back home. Everyone could cry
all night but I was sick of it. Death wasn’t that bad.
Dad watched me flying off until I was hidden by the horizon.
***** Four *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
My so-called friends blew up my phone for the rest of the night. I ignored most
of the texts and listened to a few apologetic voicemails but I wasn’t
interested in their sympathy. When I had taken a shower and was in my pajamas I
climbed into bed with a bowl of Cheez-Its to watch TV. Cartoons were the best
at distracting me so I turned it to some kids’ channel and leaned back in bed
to enjoy the mindlessness. No one came home for a long time.
A crying jag struck me when I saw a happy family flash across the screen and I
kind of let it take over for a while. It felt good to let out some emotion.
Seeing all their pained faces was enough torture for me, especially when mom
started wailing like dad died or something. Tears streamed down my face as I
tried to stuff more Cheez-Its into my mouth to keep the blubbering at a
minimum. Poor Pan. Poor Goten. Poor Gohan. Poor Videl. Poor Goku. All the
sympathy in the world couldn’t bring Chi-Chi back.
Later on that night I heard the door open and shut downstairs. Mom was talking
quietly to someone and there were feet on the stairs as they made their way to
the guest bedroom. I slid down further under my sheets and wiped my eyes in
case they stopped in for a surprise visit. Bulla Briefs did not cry.
Everyone settled down an hour later and it seemed like we’d have a mildly
peaceful night. Around two AM, when I had switched to watching horror movies, I
heard heavy feet dragging down the hall. It wasn’t my mother—she stepped light
and quiet. Dad moved with purpose. This person was heavier than them and didn’t
care about being heard. I quickly put on my slippers and peered out my door.
Goku was already halfway downstairs, holding what looked like… the Dragon
Balls? For a minute I debated getting my parents instead of following him, but
he could’ve been doing something stupid because of how sad he was. I silently
slipped out of my room and hurried down the stairs after him. There was no way
I’d let him make my mother even more upset.
When he was outside he took off into the air and I tried to follow while
pushing down my energy level. Goku was the strongest man in the universe; he
could easily detect me if I wasn’t careful. As we flew over the forest I
wondered why he didn’t just use instant transmission. Was he too upset to
focus?
We landed in the middle of a clearing where Goku set down the Dragon Balls and
dropped to his knees, sobbing. I hung back near a tree at the edge of the
forest to watch the scene unfold, heart pounding a mile a minute. Should I
intervene? Shenron wouldn’t let him make a stupid wish, right? My fingers
tightened around the tree trunk until I started bleeding.
The sky turned cloudy and the huge emerald dragon came spiraling out of the
portal between our dimensions, focusing on Goku with his bright red eyes. The
savior of Earth was crying so hard he couldn’t even make a wish but Shenron
didn’t demand he hurry it up as he usually did. Soon Goku managed to control
himself enough that he could speak, but it sounded raspy and broken.
“Please bring her back,” he said, now on all fours. “Please bring Chi-Chi back.
She didn’t die from natural causes, right? I think someone might have scared
her to death and that doesn’t count. When I woke up to get some food she… she
wasn’t even breathing. She was cold and stiff.”
Shenron looked down at Goku almost sadly. “You know that is beyond my power. I
cannot bring back those who are rightfully dead.”
“Make a clone of her,” Goku said. “I need her. I can’t live without her.”
“Son Goku, you must accept what has happened and continue fighting for what is
right in the world. You were gifted immortality to protect the universe for all
time. Mortals are fickle beings, flickering like a flame, moving where the wind
takes them. Your wife is at peace. Do not pity the dead.”
“I don’t want immortality!” Goku screamed. He pounded his fist on the ground so
hard that the tree I was clinging to shook. “I want to die with her! I don’t
want to watch everyone around me disappear like this. What about my sons? And
my granddaughter? How am I supposed to live forever if they’re all going to die
no matter what I do?!”
“You are burdened with a fate unlike any other man. Be at peace, Son Goku.
There is always relief.”
The great dragon vanished back into the Dragon Balls after that. Goku picked up
the four-star ball and started demanding Shenron come back out to grant his
wish but the sky returned to normal and he remained hidden away. I shook my
head and turned to leave. He wouldn’t be doing anything tonight.
“B… Bulma? Is that you?”
Fiddlesticks.
“No, it’s Bulla,” I said. “I saw you leave and wanted to make sure you were
okay.”
“Oh. Well, thank you.”
This was the most interaction I’d had with Goku since… ever. I smiled a bit and
started to walk away, only to be followed into the woods. Goku carried the
Dragon Balls carefully, clearly hoping Shenron would change his mind and come
back out to grant a wish. It was so weird that we were walking. Flying was way
faster and you didn’t trip over branches.
Goku cleared his throat. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about
this. I really don’t want more sympathy or I’m gonna drown in it.”
“Sure thing.”
“D’you think I’m crazy? I mean, technically she died of unnatural causes.”
“A heart attack is natural,” I said. “Tragic, but natural, especially when
you’re older.”
“I think she was scared of something so badly it made her heart stop. It
could’ve been a nightmare. I’ve never heard of anyone being scared to death.”
There was no point it arguing with him. He was depressed and looking for
answers.
Flying took over a few minutes later and we were back home within a few
minutes. Goku returned the Dragon Balls to his room and I got back in bed,
thankful that the drama was over. Hopefully he didn’t try it again or I’d have
to get my father involved. He always set Goku straight when his emotions go out
of control. I lay down and closed my eyes.
The door opened.
“Bulla? Are you awake?”
I sat up and rubbed my eyes as Goku stepped inside my room, twiddling his
thumbs. He shut the door when I motioned for him to and at the foot of my bed.
Dad would definitely throw a fit if he knew Goku was in my bedroom in the wee
hours of the morning. I turned off the TV and sat there patiently, waiting to
see if he was gonna talk. Goku was one big dude, way bigger than dad.
“You didn’t know her well, did you?” Goku asked.
I shook my head. No point in lying.
“She was great.” He smiled a bit. “We always had fun together, even if she was
yelling at me. I feel bad, though. Maybe I didn’t pay enough attention to her.
Life for humans is so short.”
“Don’t feel too bad about it. Like Shenron said, she’s happy.”
“Yeah, I know. I always thought I’d be able to say goodbye, though.”
We didn’t talk after that. Goku picked up the remote and turned my TV on,
flipping through the channels until he found the late night cartoons. The two
of us watched silently and grappled with our inner sadness. Goku laughed a
little sometimes and wiped tears away from his eyes. I sat against the
headboard with my feet stretched out behind him, praying my father didn’t see
us.
Goku got up to leave around four. He started heading for the door but suddenly
turned and stared at something on my face. I shifted toward the wall when he
walked toward me and my palms started sweating when he knelt down beside my
bed. He smiled weakly and reached up to gently wipe the tear-shaped sparkles
away from the corner of my eye. My skin tingled where he had touched me. I
wanted him to go back to his room.
He did just that, leaving me alone once again.
***** Five *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
The smell of pancakes and eggs woke me a few hours later. I groggily sat up and
stretched my arms toward the ceiling, basking in the brief moment of ignorance.
Last night had been a dream. Chi-Chi was alive and everyone was still happy. My
birthday party had gone exactly as planned and I hadn’t caught Goku making a
ludicrous wish on the Dragon Balls. He hadn’t been in my bedroom telling me his
feelings, either. Everything was as it should be.
Reality had an irritating habit of crushing my happiness.
As I pulled my hair into a loose ponytail everything came back to hit me at
once. I had known inside that it all happened but I was doing a damn good job
at putting off the emotion behind it. Tears brimmed in my eyes while I wiped
off the rest of my makeup in the mirror. Why did someone have to die for all of
us to realize how very precious life was? The hollow feeling it my gut brought
on the crying.
Someone knocked on the door and let themselves in when they heard me sobbing.
Dad muttered something about women and pulled me into his arms, the safest
place for me to be. I didn’t even know Chi-Chi but god, it was impossible to be
stoic with everyone else breaking down. Another person hugged me from the side
and after a few tears dripped on my shirt I realized it was mom. Dad kept on
muttering as he widened his arms to encompass both of us against his chest.
We made our way downstairs to the breakfast table, where the entire Son family
was already seated. Goku was sitting between his sons with a blank look on his
face. He stared at his food without eating. As a matter of fact, no one was
really eating. They were playing with the food on their plates, occasionally
raising it to their mouth and changing their minds at the last minute. There
were no appetites.
Mom looked around the table at the downtrodden faces. “I’m heading to the mall
to shop later on if anyone wants to come along and Vegeta’s going to be
training. It might help keep as all occupied instead of sitting around moping.
I’m sure Chi-Chi would want us to be happy.”
“I’ll come along,” Videl said, “and Pan wants to look for new clothes.”
“I could go for a few punches to the gut,” Gohan said.
Trunks and Goten wanted to go along to train as well, which meant I’d be the
only one in the house. It wasn’t like I didn’t enjoy having the house to myself
but in light of recent events, I would’ve liked to be shopping. The chat helped
loosen everyone up and the eating began soon after along with multiple
conversations about how Chi-Chi would’ve been so happy to see us together. My
eyes traveled to Goku out of vague curiosity and I was surprised to see him
staring at me. His gaze moved to the plate of food before him and a small smile
touched his lips.
When breakfast was over everyone went to get ready to the day. I started
cleaning up the dishes alone until Goku rose from his chair to help me. The
stack was brought to the sink so I could wash them off before sticking them in
the dishwasher. I drew water into the basin and Goku stood beside me, watching
with mild curiosity only a child should have. It was strange that he wasn’t in
the mood for training.
“Are you staying here?” I asked.
“I think so. I’m too tired to be throwing punches with everyone else. Aren’t
you going shopping with them? If you’re anything like your mother you wouldn’t
hesitate.”
“Shopping isn’t that important to me right now. I’d rather stay home and relax
for the day. Running around doing stuff doesn’t distract me very well.”
Goku nodded and took the dishes I rinsed to put them in the machine. We were
just about done by the time everyone was gathered in the main room again. Mom
put a hand on her heart when she saw me shut the dishwasher and start up the
cleaning cycle like she was witnessing a miracle. Dad’s cold eyes flickered
between Goku and I until he was certain nothing happened.
Videl tapped Pan’s shoulder. “See? Even Bulla is doing the dishes! It’s not
that big of a deal.”
“This is a once in a lifetime thing,” mom whispered to her human friend.
“Normally Vegeta has to take her phone to make her do much of anything.”
“Ha ha, very funny.” I wiped my hands off on a towel, scowling. “If you all
don’t mind, I’m going upstairs to take a much needed nap for the afternoon.
Bring me back something pretty or I’ll make these dishes dirty all over again.”
Everyone actually laughed, shaking their heads at my childish antics. I didn’t
mind being the butt of the joke for now. If it wiped the sad looks off their
faces I was willing to be teased a bit. Dad relaxed his arms a bit when mom
patted his bicep and they all left, shutting to the door to leave Goku and me
alone. They hadn’t said anything about me staying home with him but Goku wasn’t
exactly someone we had to be worried about. He was kind of a gentle giant.
I chucked the towel on the counter and sat on the couch to watch TV. It was
time to answer a few texts before people started gossiping. Goku hung around in
the kitchen for a few minutes but eventually decided to sit beside me, making
sure he kept a foot of space between us for comfort’s sake. I was relieved he
didn’t try to touch me or anything like he had to wipe off the glitter.
We watched TV for a while without saying a word to one another. Thankfully Goku
was all cried out and couldn’t even bring himself to sniffle a bit. The wake
was the next morning so he’d be going back home to make sure everything was in
order for it. I was glad I didn’t have to see Chi-Chi’s dead body resting in a
coffin for everyone to view. Open-casket wakes were the creepiest things
besides death itself.
“So… how’s school?” Goku asked.
Ugh, more talking. “Fine. Same old, same old. How’s life in the boonies?”
“Simple but sweet. You should try to hang out with Pan a little more. She
really looks up to you and it’d be better if she could make some new friends.”
“If she’s out buying new clothes that won’t embarrass me I’d be more than happy
to bring her along. She really is a nice kid, just kinda… weird. That’s a
pretty common theme in your family tree. Everyone’s well-meaning and a teensy
bit dense.”
“True. I’m not that stupid, though.” Goku flung one arm over the back of the
couch and rested his feet on the coffee table. “Chi-Chi always used to tell me
that I traded my brain for a heart of gold, which is fine with me. I like
having a pure mind, body, and conscience.”
“It’s an even trade-off.”
Our conversation lapsed into silence again. The cartoon on the screen flickered
around, trying to keep whatever kids were watching it entertained. I kept my
eyes glued to it even when I felt Goku watching me. Not having his wife really
threw him for a loop. He didn’t know what to do anymore so he was looking to me
to give him an order. I tried to ignore the long stares.
“I’m kinda sleepy,” Goku said.
“Then go take a nap.”
“I hate sleeping alone. It’s cold.”
“We have heating pads in the linen closet upstairs,” I said.
“Can you show me?”
With a heavy sigh I got up off the couch to lead Goku upstairs to the only
closet we had on the second floor. He waited patiently outside while I dug
through a few boxes until I found a pretty big heat pad he could put under a
pillow or something while he slept. When I handed it to him, he smiled hugely
and thanked me. I gave him a sarcastic thumbs up and headed back toward the
stairs.
“Can you sleep with me, Bulla?”
I whirled around to grin at him. Surely he was joking. “Do you want my father
to beat you to death? I know you’re depressed but that’s an agonizing way to
go.”
“I can sense his energy miles away.” He fingered the heat pad in his hands,
looking as earnest and innocent as usual. “You’ve already shown me you’re good
at keeping secrets. Please? It’ll help me feel better about not having Chi-Chi
last night.”
“Gotta be honest, that’s out of my comfort zone. Sleep and you’ll feel better.”
“But I’m really lonely. Please? There’s no other way for me to relax. I like
feeling a warm body next to me. Whenever I hug my pillow I remember waking up
and seeing her.”
The dejected expression on Goku’s face was enough to make me give in. It wasn’t
being asked in a creepy, rapist manner. Son Goku didn’t have an evil bone in
his body. I shrugged in defeat and followed him into the spare bedroom, making
sure to leave the door ajar behind me. When I yawned and laid down under the
thick quilt he eagerly crawled into bed beside me, grinning from ear to ear. I
rolled my eyes and nestled into the plushy sheets.
Goku suddenly pulled me close so I was instead nuzzling into his chest. I
thought it would be strange sleeping with him but it felt perfectly fine, the
same as when he fell asleep while babysitting Pan and me. His shirt smelled
pretty good—the vague scent of pine and burning firewood made me instantly want
to go camping. And god, he was warm. My toes curled up tightly against the cold
sheets.
The steady thrum of his heart lulled me to sleep. I balanced precariously on
the edge, afraid that falling off meant my father would come upstairs and see
me in bed with his rival. It wasn’t the bad “in bed,” but dad always got a
murderous sort of look when a guy touched me. Goku breathed gently, teasing my
tendrils of hair with his warm breath. If he could relax, so could I. What was
a nap between friends?
“Goodnight, Bulla,” he murmured.
***** Six *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
It was the day of the wake.
My whole family wore varying shades of black (is that even possible?) and dad
kept his arms at his sides the entire time. Mom insisted he looked
disrespectful when he folded them. Trunks tied his hair back at the base of his
neck and we all headed to the funeral parlor around noon, looking positively
depressing. We took the car because mom thought flying was too casual.
We arrived at the service and made our way inside to see everyone. The shopping
and fighting trips the day before had been successful—not a sad face could be
seen when they all returned. Luckily I hadn’t napped for too long with Goku and
we woke up in plenty of time to look normal. He kept smirking at me and winked
a few times. I honestly felt a bit dirty. It wasn’t a big deal or secret
though.
Goku was standing between his sons near the front of the parlor, both big hands
clasped in front of him. He looked terribly uncomfortable in his suit. He
didn’t shoot me any weird looks, something I was very happy about, but he did
hug my mother tightly when she ran forward to embrace him. Gohan and Goten
shook hands with us and we made our way to the small plastic chairs to wait for
the actual service to begin. I tried not to look at Goku.
It was a pretty small crowd. Gohan went to the podium a few minutes after
everyone was seated and Goku sat beside Goten in the front row. I examined my
nails when Gohan’s speech about his mother started. A few of them were
chipping. They definitely needed to be filed and repainted. I wouldn’t be
caught dead with misshapen nails at school.
“We come here today to honor the memory of Chi-Chi, a loving mother, devoted
wife, and tenacious fighter,” said Gohan.
Soon I tuned out. I was sick of being sad.
After the wake we all went outside to talk even more, bracing ourselves against
the cold wind. I took out my cell phone to tell Shoppa I’d be home around seven
if she wanted to hang out and crossed my arms to keep in some body heat. Next
we had the actual funeral at the cemetery and it’d all be over with. As I stood
gazing at the trees, I felt two big hands settle on my shoulders. I quickly
turned to see Trunks standing behind me, eyebrows raised in surprise.
“You’re a little jumpy,” he said. “Something wrong?”
“No. When are we leaving? I wanna get this over with so we can all go home.”
“We’re heading out now. It shouldn’t be much longer.” Trunks reached up to feel
my forehead. “Are you sure you’re okay? I didn’t know you cared this much about
Chi-Chi.”
I shrugged him off and left to find mom and dad. Everything was fine. I needed
some food.
We walked to the cemetery down the street for the funeral. I had my nose so
buried in my cell phone I didn’t notice Goku come up alongside me until he
coughed. He smiled and I stuck my phone in my back pocket, trying not to look
insensitive. We were kind of back away from the crowd. He started rummaging in
his pockets as we walked until he pulled out something silver and offered it to
me.
“This is for you,” he said.
It was a simple necklace with a heart on the end. I was a big fan of jewelry
and pretty much everyone gave it to me for different occasions so I wasn’t
suspicious of the gift. He’d been so distracted on my birthday that he probably
forgot to give it to me. I smiled and clasped it behind my neck. His face lit
up.
“Thanks,” I said. “It’s pretty.”
“I don’t get that kind of stuff but girls like hearts, right? Chi-Chi always
asked me to clean the house for her birthday. She didn’t want anything else.”
I adjusted the necklace a bit. “Most women are higher maintenance than that. We
like dates and movies and presents and romance. Chi-Chi was unique, I’ll give
her that.”
“She sure was. So are those the kinds of things you like?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah. Going for walks is nice, too. Not in the city. Out in the
country.”
“We’re walking right now,” Goku said brightly.
“I mean alone, silly. You can bring a picnic blanket and just watch the stars
all night.” I shrugged. We were getting close to the cemetery. “Trust me, I’d
rather take daddy’s money and go shopping any day but dates are different.
They’re more personal than wandering around the mall.”
We parted ways at the funeral and I returned to standing with my family. This
time a few people cried, mainly Videl and Pan. Mom blotted a few tears from her
eyes and dad stood solemnly behind us as the casket was lowered into the
ground. He had to be thinking the same thing I was: mom was even older than
Chi-Chi. She could disappear at any minute, too.
A few more words were said before we all turned to leave. Mom and Videl hugged
and Pan ran forward to embrace me, which I didn’t argue with. She was trying
really hard not to cry. I patted her back while dad and Trunks shook hands with
the other men, murmuring apologies. Damn, Chi-Chi was lucky. A lot of people
cared about her more than themselves. Goku was back to looking depressed again.
I hoped he didn’t try his trick with the Dragon Balls.
When Pan and I broke apart she wiped her eyes and smiled. “I’m going to
grandpa’s to look through some of gram’s things if you wanted to come along. We
might clean up the house a bit.”
“Sure,” I said.
It was the polite thing to do, even if it meant canceling my plans. Mom beamed
and told me she’d see me later. Pan and I joined hands and Goku put one his
hands on my shoulder, nearly knocking me off balance. Everyone waved as we
disappeared thanks to instant transmission and reappeared outside Goku’s tiny
house. Goku put an arm around Pan and led her inside with me trailing awkwardly
behind.
The house must have been too dark for me to see how dirty it was the night
before. We stepped over boxes of stuff, Chi-Chi’s stuff that Goku was probably
moving to the basement. Pan opted to do the dishes first and rummage through
everything later on when it was out of the way downstairs. I managed to pick up
one heavy box while Goku easily shouldered five, balancing them precariously.
We fit everything on the rows of empty shelves. They had a little couch and
carpet set up, maybe for guests or just relaxing when it was too hot upstairs
during the summer. Pan would be able to spend hours searching through her
grandmother’s things. She was still working on the mound of dishes when we came
back upstairs so I went over to help her without really thinking about it. I
might’ve been spoiled but I wasn’t that much of a snob. I didn’t mind helping
if people needed it.
Goku went up to his bedroom, leaving Pan and I alone in the quiet kitchen. The
sound of clinking plates with murmured apologies occasionally broke the
silence.
“Grandma was always nagging at me,” Pan said after a while. She slowly cleaned
her bowl, watching the water. “She said dad let me be too much of a tomboy and
I’d never get married. I used to think it was annoying and kind of mean but…
she cared in her own way. It was hard for her to show it.”
“Always is,” I said.
She looked at me then and her eyes traveled to the necklace. “Did grandpa give
that to you?”
“Oh, yeah. Earlier today for my birthday, I guess.”
“He’s so adorable sometimes. He usually forgets stuff like that.”
After the dishes were done we made our way to the basement to see what kinds of
things Chi-Chi left behind. I took the couch and Pan sat on the floor—there was
no way I’d sit on the dirty carpet. It probably hadn’t been cleaned in weeks. I
picked through the box Pan handed me and didn’t find anything interesting until
a faded diary surfaced. My curiosity was piqued. How bad was it to read a dead
old woman’s private thoughts? We read all about Anne Frank’s experiences,
right?
I opened the clasp on the worn leather and flipped through the first few pages
to get a feel for what she wrote about. It was mostly boring, just her
complaining about how Goku was never home. The last entry was written strangely
and said something about Goku and little girls, but I brushed it off as Chi-Chi
going senile. Of course she was paranoid about her husband cheating. He still
looked like a god while she grew closer and closer to the grave.
The night wore on. I stretched and headed upstairs to go to the bathroom while
Pan dusted off a picture of Goku and Chi-Chi on their wedding day. As I pushed
open the bathroom door, I heard hard breathing from the bedroom across the
hall. I tiptoed down the hall to the main bedroom and gently nudged open the
door to peer inside, praying Goku wasn’t making a wish again.
It was pretty dark out by then but I could dimly make out the image of Goku
vigorously stroking himself. A foreign heat crept through my body and I felt my
cheeks flush but my eyes were glued to the scene before me. His back arched and
he groaned, biting his lip to keep from making too much noise. I swallowed hard
and tried to glance away at the window, feeling a bit… what was it called…
voyeuristic? It was really only a vague outline of what he was doing but I
didn’t need full lighting to know.
My innocence was broken as I shamelessly watched him. It was more curiosity
than anything else. I’d never seen a man doing that and I had a feeling I
wouldn’t until I was eighteen. My hands rested on the wall and I stained one
eye against the darkness. It’d be bad if Pan came upstairs.
It was suddenly over a few moments later thanks to an onslaught of tears. Goku
rolled on his side, weeping and nuzzling his face into the empty sheets beside
him. He hugged a pillow and said “I’m sorry” a few times. My heart beat slowed
down and I stepped away from the door, hoping I could make a quick getaway
before he noticed I was watching. All the crying was making me—
“Hey, Bulla! Is grandpa sleeping?”
Pan was there just after the wrong time, much to my relief. I shook my head
quickly and noticed Goku glance up out of my peripheral vision. He was slow but
he’d be able to put the pieces together. Pan was holding a picture frame in her
hands but the actual photo was hidden. She waited until Goku climbed out of bed
and stepped into the hallway to show us what her discovery was.
I didn’t know if it was my slightly accentuated senses but I could definitely
tell Goku had been “working out” too hard. His shirt was damp with sweat. He
leaned against the door frame and gave me a sideways glance as his
granddaughter flipped the frame to show us the picture.
“It’s you two!” Pan said.
Sure enough, it was Goku holding me when I was probably five. We were on the
beach with everyone, hanging out by the ocean. Goku thanked Pan and took the
picture and she smiled before skipping off back to the basement. When the door
shut I rubbed my arms and started to walk away.
“Did you… see me?” Goku asked.
“Yeah and I’d prefer to just act like it didn’t happen.”
“It’s natural. Men and women do it all the time.”
“Great,” I said. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“You can try it. It feels nice. Chi-Chi showed me a long time ago and I always
do it when I’m sad.” He took a step closer and knelt it front of me. We were
eye-level now. “I can show you if you’re confused. You’ve already shown me
you’re good at keeping secrets.”
I touched my necklace. “I’m okay, really. Pan and I are gonna sleep in the
basement so don’t worry if we don’t come upstairs again. I’m really fine so if
we can just never talk about this again I’ll be happy.”
“It’s always better when you don’t talk,” Goku said.
His words affected me in a way I couldn’t even understand. I nodded and hurried
back down the stairs to spend the night chatting with Pan. Boys were weird.
***** Seven *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
Over the next few weeks I became pretty close friends with Pan. I wasn’t
expecting it to happen. Mostly I hung around her because mom expected me to and
dad shot me dirty looks if I refused. But she was a genuinely nice girl and
came out of her shell with some prodding. Soon she was coming with Shoppa and
me to the mall when Valese stayed home to comfort Goten. We bought her new
clothes to help her fit in when she finally started attending Orange Star High.
My car was small and blue, exactly what I wanted. Mom and dad wanted me home by
nine every night and threatened to take the keys if I wasn’t at least on the
doorstep by 8:59. Chi-Chi’s death had really shaken everyone’s foundations.
Nothing was safe anymore. Normally I would’ve thrown a fit and put harsher
demands on them in exchange but I quietly obeyed instead.
Goku started disappearing for long periods of time and wouldn’t talk to anyone
for days. I’d drop by the house with Pan to make sure everything was in order.
There was an occasional dish but he wasn’t home enough to really mess the place
up. It was a relief for me to not have to keep looking over my shoulder,
wondering if he was gonna try anything else. I considered telling my parents
what I had seen in his bedroom; it just seemed too weird to say out loud. ‘Hey
mom, I caught your best friend from childhood jerking off the night of his
wife’s funeral. No biggie, right?’
I managed to put it all behind me. There were more important things to worry
about.
One night I was sitting in my bedroom with Pan, flipping through a magazine I
got during our outing to the mall. Winter was fast approaching and I needed new
sweaters: stat. She was lying on the floor like she usually did with her eyes
glued to the TV. I heard her sigh and shut it off before climbing up on the
foot of my bed. I peered over the top of my magazine and unwillingly set it
aside. The look she was giving me said it all. She needed to talk about
something important.
Pan’s eyes moved to my necklace. I hadn’t taken it off much since the day Goku
gave it to me. A lot of people complimented it and of course I loved hearing
about how pretty I was. Mom was shocked that he gave me jewelry and dad kind of
glared at it.
“You know grandpa pretty well, right?” Pan asked.
I shrugged. “I guess so. He hasn’t been around a lot lately.”
“Well I go over to his house sometimes later on at night by myself to
straighten up anything we might’ve missed. It’s no big deal since I can fly and
my parents don’t mind. Anyway, I was there the other night and… I was debating
even mentioning it to you, but… he has a picture of you next to his bed. It’s
kinda recent, too. And a little sticky. I don’t even know where he got a
camera.”
“He… what?”
“Grandpa means well, he really does. He just doesn’t understand things socially
sometimes. It looks like a school picture he got from your parents.” Pan
started biting her nails nervously. “I just didn’t know why he had a picture of
you there. There’s not really anything else in his room.”
“If you’re asking me whether or not I’m hooking up with Goku, I’m definitely
not. He’s like a million years old and definitely not my type. Can’t say I’m
really happy about him having my picture. Did you notice anything else weird or
was that it?”
“No, he doesn’t really want me in his bedroom so I only went in the one time.
It was totally empty otherwise. Just the picture, tissues, and some wood
carvings. They’re shaped like animals. He makes them for my birthday. I’m
getting kind of old for it now, but…”
“Ugh,” I said, “that’s so creepy. Him having my picture, I mean. You have a
strange family, Pan.”
“Tell me about it. My grandpa acts like a ten year old and we’re all descended
from aliens. You’re a half-Saiyan, though. You have it way worse.”
It wasn’t too bad being a halfling. Dad said I got a few of the perks and none
of the negatives, like a tail or turning into a raging gorilla under full
moons. I could fly, I was strong, and I was ruthless. Only Gohan and Goten
understood what being a half breed was really like. Pan only had a quarter of
Goku’s Saiyan blood left in her so she was weaker compared to the rest of us.
Pan left a little while later and I turned the TV on for some background noise
while I leafed through my magazine again. I needed a serious boyfriend. Most of
my school years consisted of dancing between boys and it was time I settled
down with one. I bit the inside of my lip, thinking of who was the best long-
term material in school. It had to be someone older or I’d look like a dweeb.
As I browsed through the articles I suddenly felt a light pressure at the foot
of my bed. Curious, I glanced up and let the blood drain out of my face.
Goku was sitting there with a huge grin on his face. He placed a finger to his
lips and turned to take something out of his pocket. I gawked at him. What the
heck was he thinking? My father would be able to pick up his scent a mile away.
He’d be up in my bedroom to pummel Goku in three seconds.
“I made this for you,” Goku said, opening his big palm in front of me.
My heart was beating so hard I could hear it in my ears. I looked down to see a
crudely carved rabbit in Goku’s hand, complete with buttons for eyes and a
fluffy tail made out of cotton. His smile widened when I took it and I thanked
him before setting it on my nightstand. Yep, he was losing his mind. He
definitely had a death wish.
I swallowed. Hard. “It’s almost midnight. What do you want?”
“Want? Me? Oh, nothing. I just came over to give that to you. I’m making
another one but it’s a surprise. I haven’t been home lately so I keep missing
you when you’re cleaning with Pan. It’s nice having people walking around the
house. Do you want to come over tonight?”
“I… wait, what?”
“It’s hard for me to sleep alone. You’re almost as warm as me so you keep the
cold away.” He was staring at his fingers and a slight blush crept into his
cheeks. “We could talk about what you saw me doing the other night and maybe I
could show you how it feels. I mean, I’m an adult so it’s better for me to do
it than some random boy, right?”
“I told you I didn’t want to talk about that. It was embarrassing enough seeing
it.”
“Why? It’s normal. Even your parents do it. It’s how they made you.” He
scratched his head awkwardly. “I don’t really get how it works but it does.”
“Get back to me on that one,” I said.
The Saiyan looked around furtively and crawled into bed beside me, leaning
against the headboard and gently pressing our legs together. His training pants
felt weird on my bare legs. They were pretty soft. I buried my nose in the
magazine and he fingered my t-shirt. Dad was probably already on the stairs,
getting ready to burst into the room and break Goku’s neck.
“This is a nice shirt,” Goku said. “Where’d you get it?”
“Some store in the mall. Your granddaughter has one just like it.”
“I’ll have to talk to her about it. She’s been at the house a lot. Your mother
won’t mind if you stay with me for a few days. Pan can sleep in Gohan’s old
room and you can sleep with me. I’d really appreciate the company and—”
“No,” I said. “I have school to worry about. I’m sorry about Chi-Chi but the
world doesn’t revolve around you.”
There was silence for a while after that. I tried focusing on my magazine while
Goku kept playing with the edge of my t-shirt. My experience with boys was
limited so I had no clue what he was trying to do. Did he want me to take off
my shirt? Was he interested in sex? Occasionally his rough fingers would brush
my skin and he’d shiver. I glared at the pictures when he reached a hand down
his pants.
Goku groaned quietly and his fingers crept down my pants toward the
insufferable heat between my legs. I swatted his hand with the magazine and he
paused, deciding to squeeze my thigh instead. The way his digits moved beneath
the thin fabric of my pajamas was mesmerizing: it was like watching an octopus
writhing around. His hands were hot and calloused. I sat perfectly still. Dare
I move?
He chuckled. “Oh, Bulla, you’re such a good girl.”
Numb, I crossed my legs to keep his hands from exploring too far again. Goku
made a growling sound and tightened his grip on my leg considerably hard,
making me hiss in pain. It grew even more painful and he suddenly arched
upwards with a particularly loud grunt. I still didn’t move.
His chest rose and fell in violent motions as he tried to catch his breath and
a cold reality crept in on my heart. Whatever Goku was doing wasn’t something I
should be seeing. I knew what it was but… I didn’t at the same time. He
withdrew his hand from his pants and laughed. There was something glistening on
his fingers. It webbed between them when he wriggled them around.
“I’ll give you something nice if you lick this,” Goku said.
I found my voice. “No thanks. It doesn’t look like it tastes very good.”
Promises of more jewelry and clothes followed. I was a bit dizzy from what I
had just partially witnessed so I agreed to do it. Goku propped himself up on
his elbow and offered me his hand that was covered in the foreign stuff. I
grimaced and closed my eyes to lick the tip of his ring finger. He grinned when
I gagged and quickly wiped my mouth, trying to get rid of the foul taste. It
was way too salty.
“That was a good start,” he said, wiping everything else off on his pants. “It
takes a lot of getting used to. I told you I can show you nice things.”
Honestly, I felt dirty enough that only molten lava could clean me off.
Curiosity and morality were at war within me. I shrugged, stunned into
submission by Goku’s behavior. His black eyes suddenly flickered to the door
and he put two fingers to his forehead, vanishing in an instant.
Dad was in the doorway a second later. He was scowling so deeply I thought it
would permanently scar his face. He stepped in my room and I pulled a pillow
over the spot where Goku had been sitting. A bit of the strange liquid had
dripped on my sheets. I’d have to bring them to the dry cleaners before mom
noticed. She felt bad for Goku but not that bad.
Dad’s nose scrunched up. “Clean your room, Bulla. It reeks in here.”
When he shut the door I let out a sigh of relief. Thankfully his senses weren’t
what they used to be.
***** Eight *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
Painful throbbing in my thigh woke me the next morning.
I groggily came into awareness and threw my sheets off to pull myself into a
sitting position. When I rolled up my pants, a purple hand-shaped bruise was
glaring back at me. Memories of what Goku had been doing the night before came
back and I quickly pushed my pants leg back down. I didn’t even want to think
about it. I would go to school like every other day and act like it never
happened.
There was a bad taste in my mouth. I climbed out of bed and noticed a black box
sitting beside the bunny on my nightstand. Curious, I flipped open the lid to
see what was inside. Goku had promised me a present because I tried to lick
whatever the weird stuff was on his fingers.
Inside the box was a pretty silver ring. My tiredness was suddenly gone. I slid
it on my middle finger, which was the only one it could fit on, and admired the
way the light hit it. If he was gonna give me jewelry whenever I agreed to do
what he wanted then I might have to have him over more often.
I frowned and shook my head. No, what the heck was I thinking? What Goku did
was wrong; I could feel it in the bottom of my gut. If and when I saw him again
I needed to tell him he couldn’t see me anymore. My father would find out soon
enough and we’d both be in trouble. I started to take off the ring and stopped,
twisting it on my finger. Keeping it wasn’t that big of a deal, right?
Shoppa texted me to ask if I was going to school. I considered skipping.
Being at Orange Star High reminded me that everything was pretty much back to
normal. I caught up with Shoppa in the halls and she told me about a guy was
liked—his name was Gunner or something. We did what we always did and texted
throughout the day about random things. Pan still didn’t have a cell phone so
it was a bit harder getting in contact with her.
All day I had to grin and bear the throbbing in my thigh. When I finally got
home after school, I hurried up to my bedroom and put on loose-fitting pants
that wouldn’t press against the bruise. It was really ugly. Thankfully it was
winter and no one expected to see me in shorts. I crawled in bed to watch TV
for the rest of the day instead of torturing my leg walking around the mall.
Around four Pan showed up in my bedroom. She looked surprised at how I was
lounging around instead of spending the afternoon shopping, but didn’t ask
questions. My leg was getting stiff from being ramrod straight for so long. I
couldn’t move it or I risked more pain.
“My parents are bringing me to the lake to go fishing,” Pan said. “Your mom and
Vegeta are gonna go, too. Are you okay? You look kinda sick.”
“I’m fine,” I said quickly. “My leg keeps cramping so I think I’ll stay home
and watch TV for the day. Thanks for asking, though. We can go to the mall
Friday if you want.”
Pan beamed and left my room. I sighed with relief and settled down in my
blankets. If everyone was busy at the lake that meant I could have the whole
house to myself. I loved when that happened. Dad was almost always home,
especially since Goku had lost his will to spar. Content, I closed my eyes and
listened to the sound of the TV.
The doorbell rang some time later. My eyes opened and I blinked blearily; I had
fallen asleep for nearly an hour. I stumbled out of bed, biting my lip when hot
pain lanced down my leg and hobbled toward the stairs. The entire trip took me
a few minutes but I arrived soon enough and peered through the eyehole.
There was mess of black hair sticking up in all different directions.
My heart beat faster as I pulled open the door to reveal Goku standing on the
step with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He wasn’t wearing his training
outfit like usual, just jeans and a t-shirt. The muscles in his arms looked
even bigger without long sleeves. He smiled. His shoulders were hunched a
little. He never stood up straight anymore.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi. Everyone’s down at the lake if you wanna go. They’re fishing.”
“I already did that today. Do you want to go for a walk?”
My leg stung in response. “Can’t. My legs are cramping up for some reason. I’m
just lying in bed.”
“Did something happen?” Goku frowned and took a step toward me. His face
darkened. “Did someone at your school hurt you? You can tell me. I’ll make sure
they pay for it. Do you want me to massage it? Chi-Chi used to do that for me
when I was training too hard and it really helps.”
“Um… no, I’m all set. Thanks for coming down.”
“Show it to me.”
Despite my disagreement Goku pushed his way in my house and waited patiently
for me to show him my thigh. Normally I didn’t care about that sort of thing
with him but it had suddenly taken on a new dimension. There was a weird
tension between us. I sat on one of the kitchen chairs and carefully rolled up
the leg of my pants until the hideous bruise was exposed.
Goku stared at it dumbly for a few seconds before softly placing his hand over
the mark. It was a perfect match. Too perfect.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“It’s fine. You weren’t really thinking.”
“That always happens when I’m playing with girls.”
“What?” I asked, feeling a cold tingle down my spine.
“Oh, I keep forgetting you’ve never played with any boys. We kind of have but
it doesn’t really count.” Goku put his hands back in his pockets like he was
worried he’d do something bad with them if they were hanging at his sides.
“It’s how you make babies like Gohan and Goten.”
“You mean sex, right?”
“Yes but I don’t like that word. It’s… dirty.”
Now he refused to look at me. A walk was definitely in order.
We left the city and headed toward the forest, where a well-walked path cut
through to Mt. Paozu. Goku watched me wincing in pain as we wandered and
hoisted me up on his back, ignoring my protests. He wrapped my legs around his
waist and my arms fit comfortably about his neck. I rested my head on his back,
hoping he couldn’t feel my pulse quicken. Who was I kidding? He could probably
smell it.
It was pretty comfortable on his back but I wanted answers. What did he mean by
“girls?” Were they the “little girls” Chi-Chi talked about in her diary? Goku
carried me effortlessly over the landscape and I started drifting off to sleep.
Maybe my questions could wait.
“I miss her,” he said.
“I figured.”
We lapsed into silence again. I was strongly considering taking a nap on Goku’s
back and seeing where the day brought us. The sun was starting to set so my
parents would wonder where I was. They’d be worried that I left my phone
sitting in my room. It wasn’t like me to be away from technology.
Night fell when we finally stopped in a small meadow. Goku knelt down to let me
off his back and watched me sit in front of him with my legs crossed. His black
eyes were sparkling. The moon illuminated his hair, making it seem to glow. I
smiled at him and folded my knees together. It was weird how death was bringing
me close to someone I had barely known before.
I laughed. His shoulders squared off and he leaned closer. His pupils were
wide.
“What?” he asked. “Is something funny?”
“Just that we’re sitting in some field when it’s totally dark out.”
He cocked his head. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of the dark. Nothing in this
entire universe is as strong as I am. Even your father.”
“Dad’s never gonna give up on that dream.” I shivered in the cold and gazed up
at the sky. The stars were bright and the moon was nearly full. “It’s nice out
here. The city gets so crowded and loud. No wonder Gohan and Goten are so laid
back. They never dealt with busy city life.”
“Yep, Mt. Paozu has that effect on people. It gets chilly, though. I used to
cuddle up next to Chi-Chi every night and she’d touch my hair and hum songs. I
miss her.”
“I know you do. You were a good husband and she’s probably telling all the
spirits in Otherworld how great you are. You’ve always had such a way with
kids, too.”
The light left Goku’s eyes. He smiled wider but it was somehow creepy. He
reached forward to tug on the edge of my pajama pants and kept on grinning, no
longer looking me in the eyes. The personality shift was intense and sudden. I
no longer felt safe. He kept on rubbing the fabric between his fingers.
“You should sleep at my house,” he said. It wasn’t a request.
“Come on now, you know I have school tomorrow. As a matter of fact I should be
getting home.”
“Pan can come over, too. We can all sleep in my bed together.” His face lit up
again as a fond memory passed through his mind. “I remember when she came in
the room while Chi-Chi and I were trying to sleep. She’d jump between us and
tell me I was hot like a volcano.”
Again his personality shifted. I rubbed the back of my neck. He was losing his
mind.
I leaned back on my palms to get a better view on the sky and Goku watched. The
Big Dipper was almost directly in the center of the trees. It would’ve been
nice to get a picture but I left my phone at home. I tried to connect different
constellations as Goku crept forward to sit beside me. A warm hand closed over
mine and I saw him smiling out of my peripheral vision.
“You’re kind of weird,” I said.
Goku shrugged. “Oh well. If I’m gonna live forever I might as well make it
interesting. Chi-Chi always asked me to make her immortal with the Dragon
Balls. I didn’t want to burden her with it, though. And I could never picture
her dying in my head. I thought she would always be by my side.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being alone.”
“I hate being alone. I like when you and Pan come over.”
“Yeah, I know.” I squinted at the sky and saw a flash of light fly across it,
quickly vanishing over the horizon. “Was that a comet? Aren’t we supposed to
make a wish now?”
“Want me to fly into space and make it go back across the other way?”
When I laughed again he moved an inch closer. I needed to stop laughing. Was I
encouraging him?
“Have you told anyone about me?” Goku asked.
“No. I already told you my father will kill you. He came in my bedroom like two
seconds after you left last night and said it smelled bad.”
“Poor Vegeta. He’s so protective but so… weak. I’m glad you’re being a good
girl. I’ll keep bringing you presents like the ring if you don’t tell anyone. I
knew you’d like it.”
“Dad’s not weak,” I said, pulling my hand away from Goku’s to cross my arms
over my chest. “You’re just outrageously strong. Plus, mom made him stay home
to help raise Trunks and me. Chi-Chi let you fly around and do whatever you
wanted. My father chose what was important to him and you chose what was
important to you.”
No response. Goku just stared up at the sky for a while before asking if I was
ready to go. My leg wouldn’t cooperate so he scooped me up in his arms and
carried me from the front rather than giving me a piggyback ride. My ear was
right over his heartbeat. He used instant transmission and we were in his
bedroom, engulfed in darkness. He tugged back the sheets and gently laid me
underneath them. I was getting too tired to care about where I slept. My leg
hurt.
Goku knelt beside the bed and touched my face. “Sleep, Bulla. I’ll be back in a
little while.”
“It’s only like seven o’ clock.” I yawned, defeating my own argument.
“You’re gonna have a big day tomorrow. Your parents are going to be worried.
But I’ll bring you back to them. This time.”
“I need to go home before dad has a heart attack.”
“Shh,” Goku whispered, tucking the sheets closer to my chin, “don’t get all
riled up. I’ve had a lot of time to think and I came up with a great idea for
you to stay over every night. All it requires is a bit of cooperation from you
and some good acting skills.”
“I don’t want to stay over every night, Goku. Get a grip and bring me home.”
“Don’t you want to get more presents? We don’t have to play or anything
tonight. I’m just happy to have someone to sleep with.”
Defeated, I closed my eyes. More jewelry sounded nice and I was technically
helping Goku out. Mom couldn’t be too mad at me. Goku climbed into bed beside
me and put one big arm over my waist, pulling me flush against him. His fingers
tugged on my t-shirt. I knew it was wrong but I didn’t want it to stop.
***** Nine *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
For the first time in a long time, I didn’t go to school in the morning. I
wasn’t complaining or anything. It was nice to sleep until eleven in the
afternoon. But as I woke up and rubbed the sleepiness from my eyes, I wondered
what my parents were thinking. Had Goku let them know I decided to sleep at his
house? That wouldn’t go over well with either of them, especially dad.
There was no body beside mine when I sat up. Luckily the pain in my leg was
totally gone and further inspection showed that the bruise had started turning
green already. Being half Saiyan had its perks. I stretched my arms toward the
ceiling and listened intently for any signs of Goku. He didn’t seem to be home.
Maybe he’d gone out to spar with dad. Chi-Chi also complained that he fished
too much.
I climbed out of bed and made my way to their bathroom to wash up. There wasn’t
much shampoo left but it was enough to get my hair clean. When I was done, I
rummaged in their medicine cabinet for an extra toothbrush. There were none to
be found so I ended up scrubbing my teeth with my index finger and some
toothpaste. It wasn’t exactly my style but I felt gross enough to resort to it.
Downstairs was just as eerily silent. I grabbed some chips out of the pantry
and sat on the couch to munch on them, tracing cracks in the wall to keep
myself occupied. Deep down I knew I should’ve left. I could’ve gone home and
told my parents what happened. It would’ve been over. Shoulda, coulda, woulda.
Of course I waited with mild excitement for Goku to come home. Leaving might
spoil his plan and I really wanted more presents.
The door opened as I was scooping out the last pieces of chips. Goku was
frowning until he noticed me sitting on the couch, sucking the salt off my
fingers. There was a white box in his hand. He offered it to me and I suddenly
felt much better about deciding to stick around. My parents were getting
stingier as I got older so it was nice to get presents. He sat across from me
on the recliner to watch me open the box.
Inside was a pretty half-dress sort of thing. It was all black and mostly see-
through in the middle, which would definitely show off my stomach and
underwear. The top was a thick black bra. There was a pink bow where my
cleavage would meet. When I looked up at Goku questioningly, he smiled.
“It’s for bed,” he said. “Your parents think you ran away from home. Everyone’s
out looking for you. I’ll let you leave tomorrow but I want one more night.
Then everyone will know you’re safe.”
“You told my family I ran away?” I gawked incredulously at him. “Why? Mom has
enough on her plate right now. I need to go home and tell them everything’s
okay. Dad can probably sense my energy anyway. You’re just hurting more people,
Goku.”
“Well no, they just assumed it. If I told them they might suspect me. It’s only
for tonight and then I’ll let you leave tomorrow morning. My energy overshadows
yours too much: you’re impossible to pinpoint. You told me you don’t mind
keeping secrets.”
“Little things are okay, like you making crazy wishes and showing up in my
bedroom in the middle of the night.” I rose to my feet, fully intending on
heading home to tell my parents. “This isn’t a tiny secret anymore. You’re
acting like a kid and I’m telling everyone as soon as possible.”
Goku stood with a panicked look on his face. “Please don’t, Bulla. I’m trying
to be nice, I really am! What am I doing wrong? Did I get you the wrong thing?
I really like having you here and I want you to stay for a while, that’s all.
Your parents just assumed you ran away or were kidnapped or… you know, they
just think you’re gone. I’m going to bring you back tomorrow, I promise. Do you
want something else?”
The fear in his eyes wasn’t contrived. He was terrified to the core of being
alone. I stared at him for a few moments and sat back down, trying to figure
out what I was going to do. Would anyone even believe me if I told them the
truth? Goku was always gentle. Kidnapping wasn’t his M.O. It’d be even harder
telling my parents what he had been doing in my bedroom.
Soon Goku relaxed and went upstairs, confident enough to leave me by myself.
The birds twittering outside just made me feel even more trapped. I needed to
go home. I needed to tell everyone what was going on before it was too late.
But was it that bad? I was sixteen now, only two years away from being an
adult. I glanced at the stairs when I heard the shower start. No, it was still
wrong.
Getting outside was easy enough. Dad had never taught me how to control my
power level so I hoped he could sense it the further I got from Goku. I didn’t
risk flying. It would draw everyone in the area to me, including the mildly
crazy guy. I stuck to the main roads and hiked it home, narrowly avoiding
encounters with different wild animals. The entire trek took me a couple hours
and I was beyond elated when I finally saw Capsule Corp.
My parents were sitting in the kitchen, staring at the tabletop. Both of them
looked at the door the second I stepped inside and dad was off his chair in an
instant. Before I could blink he had his big arms wrapped around me. Were we…
hugging? Mom was too tired to cry. She joined in on the group hug and they only
let go when I promised I wasn’t running off again.
“You look terrible,” mom said. “Why did you run away? Where have you been?
Everyone’s worried sick! Your father and Goku flew around all morning looking.
Is something wrong, Bulla?”
“I couldn’t sense your energy.” Dad folded his arms, glaring at me. “Why is
that?”
The image of Goku crying as he desperately tried to wish his wife back flashed
before my eyes. I thought about watching him in his bedroom and licking weird
things off his fingers. The expectant stares from my parents were not
forgiving. They would string him up. Did he deserve it? Even I didn’t think he
really knew what he was doing. He always had Chi-Chi to bring him back to
reality.
“I don’t know what came over me,” I said. “Chi-Chi’s death is making me
worried. I don’t want to lose anyone else. I thought if I left I’d never have
the deal with the pain of losing someone. Not knowing is better than having to
face the truth, right?” Tears welled up in my eyes. They were real, but for a
different reason. “I’m so sorry I scared both of you. I just don’t want to see
any more death.”
Mom and dad exchanged a glance. All was forgiven.
We talked for a while before they let me go to my room but my curfew was
tightened a bit in the end. I collapsed on my bed and sighed heavily. Why was I
defending Goku again? Did I really feel bad for him or was my morbid curiosity
getting the better of me? Maybe I just liked the gifts.
Pan came over later on. She was just as relieved to see me home as everyone
else was. Seeing her so happy to see me made my stomach turn. I was doing bad
things with her grandfather. If she knew the truth she would hate me. We
relaxed in my room for the day and played video games. I never got out anymore.
I was turning into an antisocial hermit.
I demanded that Pan stay for the night. She was the only thing keeping Goku
away.
***** Ten *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
When I was getting ready for school in the morning Pan came running into the
bathroom. To my surprise, she was wearing regular clothes like she was ready to
go out. When I looked at her curiously she had to catch her breath before she
could speak. Her eyes were shining with excitement. I looked away quickly at my
reflection in the mirror. Why did everyone in the Son family look alike?
“Mom and dad said I can shadow you at school!” she said. “Isn’t that great?
They spoke with the principal a week ago and decided it’s time for me to go.
Today is just so I can learn the ropes but after that I should be a full time
student like you!”
“That’s awesome, Pan! Just don’t, you know… do anything weird.”
My new friend nodded so fast I thought her head would fly off. She skipped off
down the hallway to wait for me to finish getting ready. I couldn’t help but
smile as I pulled my hair into a ponytail. Pan coming to school with me meant
two things. One, I could finally help her emerge from her cocoon and become
normal like the rest of us. Two, her creepy grandfather would stay the heck
away from me.
Mom was making breakfast for us downstairs. She put two pancakes on a plate for
Pan and watched her wolf them down without even sitting. I rolled my eyes and
put some scrambled eggs on my plate, eating them at my leisure while Pan
fidgeted nervously. Dad was studying the paper too intently to care about what
we were doing. He sipped his coffee and picked at his food.
“Relax,” I said. “If you keep jumping around people are gonna talk. I told you
not to act weird.”
“She’s just excited.” Mom sat next to dad and nudged his elbow. “Remember when
Bulla was born? You were pretty excited to have a princess to carry on your
legacy.”
Dad scowled and hid his face in the newspaper.
Pan and I left for school a few minutes later and she managed to get a hold of
herself. Hopefully everyone understood she was a bit different. At least she
meant well. Her parents had raised her in a simple home with simple rules. My
face soured. Who was I to be talking about simple? I didn’t even know a thing
about boys or even my own body. Yeah, I knew the basics. But they only told you
the boring stuff in health class, which I routinely skipped. What the heck was
the stuff on his hands?
Even after we parked I kept thinking about everything I had been doing with
Goku. Shoppa had already had sex so she would know about those kinds of things.
But how did I ask her without suggesting I was actually doing it? I went
through the motions as I led Pan into school, waving to people who called my
name and stopping when they wanted to meet Pan. My only other option was to ask
Goku himself but that would be even worse than asking Shoppa.
School dragged more than usual. I was completely uninvolved and Pan was mostly
left to fend for herself. She was already blooming into a social butterfly,
though. A lot of kids stared at me in the halls. They’d probably heard about me
“running away.” Little did they know…
After school I drove home with Pan, trying to show interest in her first day.
Her excitement was blinding her. I was occasionally nodding; very clearly not
paying attention and she didn’t seem to care. My mind was elsewhere. Goku had
to be mad I left the other day. But I hadn’t told my parents what really
happened so maybe he was waiting to approach me again at night.
I parked and followed Pan in the house. We were gonna work on our homework
together. She hadn’t started trigonometry yet so I was giving her a hand. When
we walked inside I immediately turned to take off my shoes and heard her squeal
in excitement. There was a familiar laugh.
“Grandpa, school is awesome!” Pan said.
I winced. Yup, it was him.
The whole crowd was sitting at the table. Videl and Gohan were smiling at their
daughter as she climbed into Goku’s lap to tell him about her first day of
school. My mother was leaning against the kitchen sink and dad was nowhere to
be seen. I averted my eyes from Goku and stiffly sat at the other end of the
table, immediately taking out my cell phone to text Shoppa.
“Bulla introduced me to all the really cool kids,” Pan continued, smiling at
me. “They all liked my clothes and wanted my phone number. Daddy, can I get a
phone? Everyone has one besides me.”
“Sure thing, honey,” Gohan said when Videl elbowed him in the ribs.
“Tonight I’m bringing you and Bulla out for a walk.” Goku glanced at my mother
and back to his granddaughter, grinning. “All the adults are having a night
together but we’d rather go outside and explore, right? I know I don’t want to
be in the stuffy house.”
My pulse quickened. No. He’d find a way to ditch Pan and we’d be alone again.
My fingers trembled as I checked my social networking accounts. What did he
want? Was he mad at me? Would he break my neck and throw my corpse in the lake?
I was terrified. I regretted lying to my parents about my disappearance. If
they really knew what happened, we wouldn’t be sitting around the table
chatting.
“I’m staying here,” I said. “It’s been a long day—”
“You can sleep at Goku’s for the night,” my mother interrupted. “We really do
have some important things to go over so you kids need to be out of the house.
Goku has graciously accepted his role as the babysitter. Just bear with us.
It’s only for tonight.”
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m kinda curious.” Pan hopped off Goku’s lap and sat next to me.
Mom rubbed the back of her neck. She was hiding something. “It’s nothing, just
an adult night. You’ll have a ton of fun with Goku so don’t sweat it, guys.”
“What are you celebrating? Me vanishing the other night? Or is it Chi-Chi’s
death?” I drilled my eyes into mom’s, trying to extract the truth.
They weren’t interested in talking. Goku rounded Pan and I up and used instant
transmission to get us out of the house. I tore my arm out of his grasp when we
were standing in a field and covered my chest. Why were they throwing us out? I
had just “run away” not two days ago and they wanted me out of the house? There
was something fishy going on at the Briefs household.
We walked through the woods for a while, not really going anywhere in
particular. I hung back a bit from the two of them and patiently waited for the
moment I could escape. Goku was trying very hard to ignore me. He wanted to
talk to me. He wanted to know why I left. I picked a flower and pulled off the
petals as our stroll continued. I was about to leave him yet again. He wouldn’t
be happy.
The second my power level flared for flight Goku whirled around and gave me a
serious glare. We stared at each other for a few seconds while Pan furrowed her
brow in confusion. He raised his eyebrows. I scowled and conceded, dropping my
energy back down to normal. Goku turned back to his granddaughter and took her
small hand in his. She glanced between us, able to sense my sudden ki change. I
just wanted to go home.
“Pan, I need you to go back to my house,” Goku said. “Bulla and I will be along
in a little while.”
Pan looked up at me. “Are you sure, grandpa? I don’t mind staying.”
“You should stay,” I said.
“Go home,” Goku said, grabbing her cheeks to make her look at him.
She hesitated, but flew off into the air without a second glance in my
direction. I angrily folded my arms and Goku rose to his feet, cracking his
neck. He put his hands in his pockets and smiled at me as the wind gently
swayed his hair. It was still light out. We had about three hours before the
cold night.
“Let’s walk,” he said.
“No.”
“Bulla, you really hurt my feelings the other night. I was hoping we could be
in bed together all day and night.” Goku frowned. “Don’t you like me?”
“No, I do not ‘like’ you. You’re ancient compared to me.”
“I brought you presents and everything. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Goku, giving me gifts will make me fall madly in love
with you. Forget how old you are or my own age. I’m not being your rebound
because your wife died. That’s disgusting.”
“Don’t talk about Chi-Chi like that,” he said, clenching his fists.
“Why the heck not? She’s dead and nothing you do will bring her back. You can’t
pretend that I’m her and you can’t wish for her to be here. You will never,
ever have your wife back. Get over it and be happy with what you do have—two
sons and a granddaughter. Did you even know Goten is considering proposing to
Valese? Or were you gonna skip the wedding to go fishing?”
To my surprise, Goku had nothing to say. He glared at the ground for a minute
then grabbed my arm and placed his fingertips to his forehead. Despite my
protests he disappeared and brought me to a dark attic. I started to scream but
he wasn’t having it. He covered my mouth with his hand and pushed me to my
knees so I was staring through a hole in the floorboards. After my heart
stopped pounding I realized where I was. Home? But he finally got me alone.
Goku put a finger to his lips and nodded toward the hole in the floor. We could
see everyone sitting at the table beneath us, including Goten and Valese. He
sat beside me; clearly he already knew what they were going to talk about. I
strained my ears to hear the discussion.
“We’ve all been thinking it,” mom said. “Something wasn’t right about Chi-Chi’s
death.”
“Perhaps Kakarot strangled her so she wasn’t in his way,” dad sneered.
“Dad isn’t like that.” Goten was sitting away from everyone else with his arm
around Valese. He directed a cold glare toward my father. “Not everyone is evil
to the core, Vegeta.”
Gohan ran a hand through his hair. “Goten, please. Even you have to acknowledge
something was off about the way mom died. I know you like to picture them as
totally happy but they weren’t. You know dad drove her insane most days. I
can’t say I blame her. He’s been getting worse recently and now that she’s gone
I’m constantly worrying about him. He needs a babysitter.”
“No one has time for that,” Vegeta said. “Perhaps Kakarot should come to terms
with reality and stop pursuing my daughter.”
Goku gently began rubbing my back. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Did
they all know? Was this it? Would it be the end of everything?
“Would you stop saying that?” mom snapped. “Goku doesn’t like Bulla. He’s three
times her age and three times dumber. I honestly can’t believe you’d even think
she’d be stupid enough to become involved with him. I’ve never trusted your
“Saiyan instinct” and I never will.”
“Dad’s harmless,” Gohan said. “He knows who is and isn’t off limits. Bulma
knows how he can be: curious, sometimes a little too much. Bulla has a good
head on her shoulders.”
“Can we get back to the topic at hand?” Goten asked. “I think you were accusing
our father of murdering mom because she was constantly bugging him. He wouldn’t
even destroy Frieza after everything he did to all of our friends! This is
ridiculous! No amount of blaming or arguing is gonna bring mom back so can we
all stop and let the dead rest in peace?”
“It’s important, Goten,” said Videl. “We want to make sure there was no foul
play.”
Goten stood up abruptly and grabbed Valese’s hand to lead her out of the
kitchen. The front door slammed shut and everyone was silent for a few moments.
Goku started playing with my hair. I stared at my mother, expecting her to
defend her best friend from childhood. They all thought he was a murderer. Over
what? Chi-Chi being an incessant nag?
It made me kind of angry. I considered jumping down and telling them all off.
Goku was a good man at his core; he just never really grew up. He wasn’t
technically hurting me and I found it very hard to believe he was capable of
killing his wife in cold blood. My hands tightened around the edge of the hole
in the ceiling and Goku ran his fingers through my hair to soothe me.
“It’s always the same old shit with dad,” Gohan said, angry for the first time
since I’d known him. “Why can’t he just stay home and be an attentive husband?
Why did he have to constantly leave mom alone? Piccolo practically raised me
and dad was too busy playing with pterodactyl eggs to go to his funeral. If it
wasn’t for me being a nag he wouldn’t have even gone to mom’s funeral.”
“Relax,” Videl murmured. “Your father still has the mind of a child and he
always will. He doesn’t like dealing with serious things and change upsets him.
I think its best that we all let the chips fall where they may. Keep your eyes
open but don’t let him know we’re looking. If we accuse him he might take it
the wrong way.”
Luckily Goku transported us away before I could scream at them.
We were in the woods again, standing in the same clearing as the last night I
had seen him. I covered my face with my hands and sat in the tall grass. The
sun was starting to set over the horizon. Pan would worry if we were gone for
much longer. I rubbed my eyes as Goku took a seat in front of me, watching my
face with his sad black eyes. He twiddled his thumbs and waited for me to talk.
“Goku, they think you killed Chi-Chi,” I said softly.
He shrugged, staring gloomily at the ground. “I knew that the minute I called
Gohan over when I woke up next to her dead body. You know, I’ve been friends
with your mother since I was… well, much smaller than this.” His eyes filled up
with tears and he closed them. “We’ve been through a lot together, Bulma and
me. Whenever your father made her cry I’d go over and listen. I’m not very
complicated. I like making people happy. It’s what I do. I’ll be doing it for
all eternity.
“But no matter how many times I save the Earth; no matter how many fond
memories there are in place of the bad, it seems like all they can see is my
flaws.” Goku wiped his eyes, laughing. “I… I’ve destroyed so many threats to
the universe that I lost count. Frieza, Baby, Omega Shenron, Majin Buu. I don’t
want anything in return but some peace and quiet. But I come home and there’s a
list of things I need to take care of. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of being
taken for granted. Only Goten believes me.”
Dear god. Why was I being dragged into his personal life again?
I hesitated before putting my hand over his so he’d stop ripping grass out of
the ground. “Everyone is just upset over Chi-Chi dying. We all know you had
nothing to do with it. Let everything smooth over, okay? Don’t say anything to
them about it. Just act natural.”
“I know,” Goku said. He turned his palm face up so he could lace his fingers
through mine. “Listen to me, whining like a little kid.”
“I’d be pretty upset if my friends were accusing me of murder.”
“I’ll never hurt you,” he said earnestly. “Promise.”
“This isn’t a long term relationship. I’m just trying to be supportive, that’s
all. If you keep hitting on me I’ll go tattle on you. So don’t push your luck.”
Goku smiled. “If you say so.”
We sat there until the moon began to rise. Crickets were chirping all around
us. I sighed and started getting to my feet but Goku tugged me back down. He
was still holding my hands in his. It was still light enough for me to see his
nervous facial expression. Was he going to…
My stomach twisted into knots when he moved a bit closer. No, no, no. I’d never
been kissed before. I definitely didn’t want Goku to be my first. His eyes
appraised my face. His thumbs stroked the backs of my hands. The inside of my
mouth went dry and he smiled encouragingly. Wait, was I overreacting again?
Kissing wasn’t a big deal. I really wanted to see what it was like, anyway.
Something compelled me to lean toward him. We met in the middle for a brief
kiss, not moving beyond a simple touch of the lips. His mouth was soft. When he
pulled away I was still awkwardly in the dead zone between us; I quickly moved
back and freed my hands from his grasp. Goku’s smile broadened when I hurried
to my feet and dusted off my pants.
“I’m tired,” I lied.
Goku stood slowly, watching me with renewed interest. “Do what you need to. I’m
going for a walk so I’ll be home later.”
It annoyed me that he wouldn’t bring me home with instant transmission. I
pushed my energy under my feet and flew off in what I guessed was the direction
of the Son house. When I turned to see how far Goku was, he’d become a speck. I
could still tell he was watching me.
***** Eleven *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
How much stupider could I get?
I walked into Goku’s house, staring straight ahead with my fingers touching my
lips. Had I just kissed him? He was so much older than me. It felt more
personal somehow, like we had just taken everything too far in a single motion.
Dad already knew and it was only a matter of time until everyone else figured
it out. Right now they thought he was lying. Thankfully his track record of
telling the truth was terrible.
Pan peeked over the edge of the couch when I shut the door. She cocked her
head, watching me walk forward like a zombie and sit in the recliner. I
couldn’t help it. My mind was racing and my heart didn’t seem to be working. I
had kissed Goku. What did this mean? Was I technically involved with him?
“Is grandpa okay?” Pan asked. “He looked upset.”
“Yeah. We just needed to talk about a few things.”
Oddly, this was enough of an explanation for her. There were no more questions
after that so I went upstairs to wait for Goku in his room. We needed to have a
serious talk. I needed to put my foot down and refuse to let things go any
further. Chi-Chi must have been cursing me in Otherworld.
There wasn’t much of anything left in Goku’s bedroom now besides his bed and
nightstand. As mentioned by Pan, a picture of me from last school year was
facing the bed. I sat down on it and picked up the frame to feel something dry
and mildly sticky covering it. The years hadn’t changed me very much. I looked
almost the same as when I was a little kid.
Goku came home a while later. When our eyes met from across the room I realized
that I could never understand him. I wouldn’t be able to fathom the depths of
his sadness or the enormity of the things he had lost over the years. We were
worlds apart. My life had been mostly simple with a few detours along the way
but Goku had never known normalcy. He was forever abnormal.
When it came down to it, I was a little girl and he was a middle-aged man.
The Saiyan sat next to me on the bed and put his heavy arm around my shoulders.
If I wasn’t a half-breed, I would’ve been bent in half. I stared at my picture
on his nightstand and wondered what I meant to him. I would never know the real
truth. Was I a fling or was the famous Son Goku actually interested in a
teenage girl? It seemed unlikely. Besides, it would never work out.
“Confused?” he asked.
That was even the half of it. I shrugged and looked down at my hands. They were
trembling a bit. It was cold in the bedroom but I knew my own inner turmoil was
the culprit. Goku kissed the side of my head and hugged me to his ribcage. I
really wanted Chi-Chi to come back to life so I could go home.
We sat in silence. The night dragged on.
“Are you hungry?” Goku asked.
“No.”
He shifted, looking down at me. “Come on. I know you must want something. It’s
been a long day. Pan could probably use some dinner, too. Let’s go downstairs
and see what she wants.”
“Not interested in groping me tonight?” I said acidly.
“I’ve never touched you. Well, a little, but not in the bad way.” Goku smiled
at a fond memory. “I didn’t make you kiss me and I let you go home the other
day when you wanted to. I think I’m being pretty reasonable, right? Plus I got
you some presents to make you happy.”
“Except the time you got too passionate screwing around in my bed and left a
bruise on my thigh.”
“I’m sorry. Sometimes I get too excited when I’m playing, especially when it’s
with pretty girls like you. Wouldn’t you rather learn these things with an
adult instead of a teenage boy? They’re mean. They don’t appreciate women.”
“Learning through heartbreak is part of being a teenager,” I said.
“It doesn’t have to be,” he replied, releasing my shoulders. He took one of my
hands between his and rubbed my fingers. “Let me show you so they can’t take
advantage of you. I know your parents won’t let you learn about those kinds of
things on your own.”
His insistence was annoying me. I pulled my hand free and lay back on the bed
to stare at the ceiling instead. There were some cracks running through it. A
heavy rainfall could make it collapse. Goku lay beside me with his hands on his
stomach and also gazed up at the decomposing ceiling. Neither of us said
anything for a while yet again. That was how our conversations worked, though.
A few moments of passionate declarations then… nothing.
Part of me was a bit hurt that Goku saw me merely as an object. I mean, it
wasn’t like I didn’t assume that from the beginning. Why else would an older
guy want me? But it was upsetting that my looks were preferred over anything
else about me, including personality. Was I that bad?
When he kissed me I hoped it might have meant he was interested in me beyond
the basics. I wasn’t stupid. I knew he was trying to get me comfortable with
the thought of doing dirty things, especially with him around. It was a gradual
process he took slowly so I wouldn’t be too startled and run away. I was
willingly letting him do what he wanted, even if I knew it was wrong. I had low
self-esteem.
A scowl twisted my features. I didn’t put up much of a fight. When he was
touching himself in bed beside me I was honestly afraid to interrupt him. It
seemed rude in a way. He wasn’t hurting anyone. I was old enough to start
learning about things like it. Right? It made me enormously uncomfortable but
it was totally normal to want to watch; to feel curious.
Goku turned his head to face me. I kept my eyes riveted on a very interesting
crack in the ceiling. How did I really feel? Forget the way he looked at me
like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. Forget the presents. Forget
our nearly perfect kiss. How did I, Bulla Briefs, feel about Goku?
It would take a long time to figure that out in its entirety.
“Look at me,” he said.
I refused.
“Why not?” he asked.
“You’re gonna kiss me again.”
“Don’t you want me to?”
“No,” I said.
“Then prove it.”
It was obvious that he was trying to goad me into it but I kind of wondered if
I’d be able to resist. I turned on my side to face him and he did the same,
searching my eyes with his own. We stared at one another for a while before I
felt the compulsion to lessen the space between us. I only leaned forward an
inch and Goku swiftly kissed me, pressing our lips together with more fervor
than earlier.
He mouth was soft. He reached up to run his fingers through my hair. It almost
felt normal.
We broke apart and he grinned goofily. I rolled my eyes and snuggled into my
pillow. I had so much going on lately that I was always ready for sleep. Goku’s
hand toyed with my hair for a few minutes and he kissed the crown of my skull.
He was so tall that he could curl up and still be longer than me almost totally
stretched out. I sighed heavily, eyelids beginning to droop.
“Your father knows,” Goku murmured. He was falling asleep, too.
“He always knows. I’m just waiting on someone to actually believe him.”
“No one will as long as we keep being careful.” His hand traveled to my back
and unhooked my bra so he could give me a massage. “I guess it isn’t a good
idea for me to visit you at home anymore. Vegeta’s just waiting to catch me in
the act. He always wants to win.”
I raised an eyebrow, looking up at Goku. “I think this is less about winning
and more about you screwing around with his sixteen year old daughter. That’s
guaranteed to get under his skin.”
Our eyes met and I forgot what we were talking about. You would think black
eyes would make a guy look kinda creepy but it really worked for Goku. He
didn’t look soulless or possessed. As I gazed into his eyes the nagging concern
in the back of my head came back. There it was again: the ancient sadness; the
glittering of the unknown in his obsidian irises. It appealed to me somehow. I
wanted to know more.
“You have a weird contradiction in your face,” I said, squinting at him.
“You’re always smiling but your eyes look sad. It’s hard to tell unless you’re
up really close.”
“Isn’t it always?”
Another good point. We both smiled and Goku suddenly kissed me again, this time
holding the back of my head to push me closer. His tongue slid in my mouth and
I grabbed his hair like I had wanted to do for weeks. It was thick and soft. A
low growl vibrated in his chest and he pushed me on my back, pinning my arms to
my sides so I couldn’t move. I scowled. He was halfway on top of me, licking
his lips.
“Relax, Bulla. I don’t want to take you.” Goku’s eyes zeroed in one my neck.
“Not yet, at least. We still have a lot of things to try before that happens.”
I squirmed. “See? This is why I don’t want you kissing me.”
“Why? Are you frustrated?”
“No.” It was technically a lie but whatever.
“We can touch each other if you want. It feels good, especially at the end.”
My curiosity was piqued. Thankfully Goku could read my face pretty well and I
didn’t need to say anything more. He wound an arm under my neck and the other
traveled down between my legs. I flinched when he touched the hem of my
underwear.
“Shh,” he whispered, “I’m not going that far yet, silly.”
Three of his fingers rubbed the outside of my underwear very gently. Skin-to-
skin contact seemed to be a little too much. I was glad he was willing to be
patient with me. It felt as good as he kept telling me it would, maybe even
better and I had a hard time staying quiet. He rested his forehead on mine,
shushing me whenever a noise escaped from my lips. We weren’t alone, after all.
“Now I want you to touch me,” he said. “Just on the outside. We can try being
naked another night when I have you to myself.”
My hand presently fell upon the hard thing between his legs. It turned out I
didn’t need to do much touching: Goku rubbed himself into my palm. He groaned
into my neck, now having a hard time keeping himself quiet. I felt dirty but I
felt alive. It was kind of fun.
Soon he reached a hand down his pants and stroked himself instead, holding onto
my hip for support. The rubbing between my legs stopped, leaving me feeling
oddly hot and… wet? I curiously touched the wet spot with my fingertips and
Goku moaned into my pillow as his entire body went stiff. When he collapsed
beside me, breathing heavily, I withdrew my hand to see what was on it. The
stuff was clear so I knew my period wasn’t coming.
Goku grabbed my wrist and stuck all three of my fingertips in his mouth at once
to suck on them. He closed his eyes, licking with his tongue for a minute
before letting my hand go. I wiped off his spit on his shirt, scowling. He
offered me his own hand, which was covered in sticky stuff again.
“Remember?” he asked. “If you can fit my whole finger in your mouth I’ll get
you something nice.”
“That tastes awful. What is going on with my body?”
“If you do what I said, I’ll tell you. Come on, Bulla. I’m asking nicely.”
I grimaced and did what he said, taking one finger in my mouth and quickly
licking the sticky stuff off. Goku shook his head and smiled while I gagged on
it. I thought drinking milk was hard. Whatever he was giving me did not go down
easy. He wiped off the rest on his shirt and took it off, throwing it on the
floor in a pile of shirts that were likewise ruined. It was too dark for me to
admire his body.
“You’re perfect,” he said. “I don’t think I could’ve even wished for anyone
better.”
The light was gone from his eyes again. Reality set in and I felt sick. “Just
tell me.”
Goku rolled on his back, focusing on the ceiling. “It just means you like me a
lot. Only certain men can make that happen so I wouldn’t try it with anyone
else. Normally it hurts but I know what I’m doing.” A contended smile lit up
his features but it still didn’t touch his eyes. “You can trust me to take care
of you. All I want to do is make you happy.”
It was hard to separate fact from fiction. I turned on my side so my back was
facing him and stared at the cracking wall. Goku really needed to fix his
house.
***** Twelve *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
School was a terrible drag and I found it hard to focus. Pan went off with her
new friends—she’d acclimated well to high school and didn’t need me leading her
around. My mind was elsewhere the entire day, thinking of what had happened
between Goku and I or worrying my father would show up to break his neck. I
considered writing a note for my parents and running away.
On the way home, the terrible anger I had felt the night before came crawling
back. They all really thought Goku murdered his wife. Chi-Chi was a nag and
might have driven him a bit crazy but Goku didn’t have it in him to snuff out a
life, especially hers. They were all upset and looking for answers in the wrong
place. I scowled at the road as I drove increasingly faster. How could they?
Pan was already at my house when I arrived, sitting on the porch. She stood up
and waved wildly before I could cut off the engine. Before I knew it she was in
the passenger seat with a big grin on her face. There was a wad of money in her
hand, which could only mean one thing. Shopping.
We swung by Shoppa’s house to pick her up on the way and drove up the biggest
mall in the city. Maybe an afternoon of senseless wandering and buying was what
I needed. It had always helped me feel better in the past. My mind needed to be
taken off Goku and set to something healthier. Technically, I was helping the
economy.
As soon as I was lost amongst the racks of clothes I completely forgot what I
was so upset about. Pan kept asking me for advice and Shoppa demanded I try on
nearly everything I glanced at. Being a teenager became simple again. There
were no horrible secrets for me to keep, no one died, and my entire life
revolved around shopping and my friends.
For a while, I didn’t have feelings for a man three times my age.
“That guy you like if having a party tonight,” Shoppa said when we were having
dinner in the food court. Her eyes were directed to Pan.
“Oh,” Pan said, turning red in the face.
I nibbled on a French fry. “Are we invited?”
“Obviously,” Shoppa said. “It’s gonna be an all-night thing and get this:
there’s gonna be alcohol. Have either of you ever had it before? I sip some
wine sometimes at dinner.”
“No way, I’m not doing that!” Pan exclaimed.
“Live a little. Life is short, Panny.” Shoppa winked.
Night fell as it always did. We left the mall and headed home to get ready for
the party at our own separate houses. Our ruse was a camping trip. We’d have to
bring our clothes in duffel bags to the party—what was the kid’s name, Fry?—and
finish getting ready there. I was happy to feel young again instead of old and
miserable. Goku was fun but being with him made me so nervous.
As I packed my bag I heard my door creak open slightly. I turned to see dad
standing with his arms crossed, fixating both black eyes on me. He watched as I
bustled around the room getting things ready and never moved. He didn’t even
blink. I hoped he didn’t think I was going to Goku’s house.
“Bulla,” he said.
I curled my hair behind an ear. “What?”
No words were forthcoming. He didn’t know how to start the conversation. I
could tell by his discomfort that he knew something was going on. But how did
you ask your daughter if she had been screwing around with your rival of nearly
three decades? Dad’s awkward silence spoke volumes. He knew. He just couldn’t
bring himself to accuse me of such a thing.
My father ground his jaw, struggling to rein in his temper. “You will always be
my daughter. I will always protect you. If you need me to intervene, say it. If
you’re happy, truly happy, I won’t interfere. But I don’t want you to be…
coerced into doing anything you don’t want to.”
“I’m fine, dad. I’m not a little girl anymore and I know how to take care of
myself. Things happen and work out strangely. But that doesn’t mean it’s good
for everyone to know about it.”
“I will die before I see Kakarot hurt you,” he suddenly snapped, no longer
leaning against the wall. “He is a loathsome creature, sobbing over his woman
one moment and forgetting her in the next. He has the mental capacity of a
small child. He’s irresponsible and does not have the tactical mind of a true
Saiyan.”
Neither of us said a word. We stared at each other for a few minutes.
Dad’s shoulders gradually drooped as he calmed down. His eyes fell to mine,
hard and pained. “Yet he has the heart of a human; a despicable weak spot for
all things vulnerable. His endless capacity to love and feel compassion is the
only thing keeping my hands away from his throat. This is bittersweet for me,
Bulla. Kakarot is my sworn rival but he holds something very close to my
heart.”
“Dad,” I said as tears welled up in my eyes, “it’s not like we’re married. Stop
being all mushy. I hate it.”
“Kakarot won’t want to wait much longer. He’s an impetuous fool.”
“Wait much longer for what?”
The doorbell rang downstairs and dad was gone, leaving me to ruminate over what
he had said. I wiped my eyes and tried to compose myself. Talking about
feelings was weird but it reached a whole new level of weird when dad did it.
He must have been seriously worried.
Pan and Shoppa were in the kitchen munching on cookies my mother made. Mom was
smiling. It irked me to see her looking so damn composed when just last night
she had been accusing her friend of murder. I snatched a cookie for myself and
we all left the house, excited for what the night would bring.
The party was already well under way when we got there. My friends disconnected
from me to socialize with boys and I went to get myself a drink. I hadn’t had
much alcohol but whenever the rare opportunity arose, I indulged. As I fixed a
fruity, sugary drink in a cup I felt someone’s presence beside me. They were
looking at me. My Saiyan senses weren’t terribly strong but I had a bit of a
gift.
It was Fry. He was a senior with seriously big muscles that propelled him to
quarterback of our football team. Of course, his body couldn’t even begin to
rival Goku’s. Any amount of Saiyan blood made you perfectly physically fit,
especially if you took the time to exercise and train. I thought about Goku’s
big arms around me and started feeling terribly hot.
“Hey,” Fry said. “How’s it going?”
“Fine. I think Pan wanted to see you.”
“Yeah I know. She’s been following me around.” He leaned against the table.
“Wanna get out of here? I was thinking of going for a walk.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’ve got guts. My friend has a crush on you but you’re
trying to get with me instead. Pan’s gonna cry when I tell her about this
later.”
“Aw, come on. It’s just a walk.”
The guy had a point. I shrugged and took a sip of my drink before we quietly
left the house together, immediately turning to head into the woods. There were
some drunk kids wandering around already and we tried to avoid them. I could
figure out what Fry liked and give Pan some tips. Was I technically taken or
did Goku not count? My foot almost caught on a tree stump more than once.
The trees gave way to a pond. We sat in front of it and I admired the night
sky, marveling at how fast the days were going by. Goku was stressing me out
beyond belief. I didn’t even notice time passing anymore. Fry took a swig from
his beer and leaned back. It took a lot for me to get drunk and most drugs
didn’t affect me body very much. I was pretty safe.
Everything was quiet for a while.
“Do you realize you’re the hottest girl in school?” Fry asked.
No one needed to tell me that. I looked a lot like my mother, who was
considered to be gorgeous in her heyday. I rolled my eyes and nodded, lying
back on the grass to get a better view of the sky. Next he would ask me out,
I’d say no, he’d get mad and storm off. I was doing Pan a favor.
Fry touched my hand and smiled. “Your friend isn’t really my type. I’m looking
for a trophy.”
“Flattering me won’t get you anywhere.”
“I guess I’ll need some help, then.”
The bushes behind us began to rustle. When I turned, my spine prickled. There
were two other guys standing there with smiles on their faces. I could easily
overpower one or two humans but three might be too many. A cool breeze blew
across the pond, rippling the glassy surface. My last resort was flying away
but they would tell everyone at school.
My mind was abuzz with possibilities. Should I try to run or wait to see what
they would do?
Fry was suddenly on top of me, pinning my wrists to the damp ground. I screamed
and tried to throw him off but the other two quickly restrained my arms and
covered my mouth. They were all laughing and congratulating one another as Fry
unbuttoned my jeans, tugging them over my hips. I was too terrified to focus my
energy in one place—
“I told you how bad teenage boys are.”
All of our eyes fell upon a hulking shadow several feet away. Goku was cracking
his knuckles and fixating a positively terrifying look on Fry. He grinned and
popped his neck when the teenage boy rose to his feet with an irritated scowl.
The two goons were still holding me down.
“We’re busy,” Fry said.
Goku’s eyebrows furrowed angrily. He stopped smiling. “You’re lucky I found you
instead of her father. Vegeta’s not exactly happy right now and I’m sure he’d
love to snap a few necks. I’ll gladly get rid of all three of you. No mercy for
anyone who touches my Bulla.”
“Dude, how old are you? You’re a freak!”
The rest happened very quickly. I heard a sickening snap and saw Fry’s lifeless
body crumple to the ground first. Goku was deft when he wanted to be. My
captors exchanged a glance and ran off into the forest but there couldn’t be
any witnesses. There were two more snaps from deep within the woods as I sat up
and rubbed the sensation back into my wrists.
A few minutes later, Goku returned, dragging the other two bodies. He tossed
them on top of Fry’s and sat down on the ground beside me, biting his nails.
The personality shift had happened again. He’d been so angry he didn’t know
what he was doing. As they say, it all went black.
I laughed. It was all insane. There was nothing left to do but laugh.
“I’m sorry,” Goku said. “I don’t like them touching you.”
“They were doing it without my permission anyway.” I rebuttoned my pants.
“Teenage boys are terrible. You’re better off without them.”
“Pan had a crush on the one kid you killed first. I guess it’s better she
didn’t get to know him, though. Have you spoken to my father?”
“I don’t need to. Vegeta isn’t a hard person to figure out.” Goku stared at the
bodies and leaned forward to push them in the pond with a swipe of his hand.
“He knows and he’s mad. Do you think anyone will find out I killed them? It
seemed like the right thing to do. They were bad.”
Another laugh escaped my mouth. A group of horny teenage boys deserved to have
their necks snapped but Frieza and Cell both had second chances thrown their
way even after they murdered countless innocent people. Goku even wished for
Buu to be reincarnated.
We sat in silence for a while. Goku took my hand in his eventually and led me
back toward the party. He wanted to bring Pan home. I convinced him to let me
convince her so she didn’t look like a loser. Before he left, he kissed my
forehead.
***** Thirteen *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
It was the dead of winter.
My friends and I were out on the lake ice skating. Pan had found a new
boyfriend easily enough, though they were all seriously paranoid there was a
serial killer roaming the streets. Most of us stayed inside, away from the
woods and the dangerous outdoors. We were in a five person ground and it felt
safe enough, what with me being a half-Saiyan and Pan a quarter-Saiyan.
The boyfriend is question was Karahi. He was closer to our age and kind of a
nerd like Pan. Shoppa and I both approved and they had been dating for a month.
He was quiet and didn’t mind tagging along during shopping trips or other girly
outings.
We laughed and danced on the ice, sometimes falling and bruising our behinds.
School was out for a week and all of us intended on fully enjoying it. We were
having sleepovers at each other’s houses until classes resumed and life went
back to being dull. I exhaled on my hands and rubbed them together with the
thick wool mittens my mother bought me. It was getting frigid.
As I watched everyone smiling and twisting through the air, my mind wandered.
It had been a long time since Goku showed up in my bedroom. Either he was
afraid of my father or something had gone wrong. He never even came to dinner
at my house or Pan’s for that matter. I was nearly free from his grasp.
There wasn’t much snow on the ground; maybe an inch. Mostly everything just
froze over and the temperature dropped a lot. I squatted over the ice to squint
into the depths of the lake, wondering if I could see anything down below. It
was pretty black. The light had a hard time filtering through the ice.
I had a weird urge to smash the ice and dive to the bottom just to see if
anything was still swimming around. It wouldn’t be very hard. Half of my blood
was from the Saiyan race and I was supposed to be damn proud of that, according
to dad. Everyone’s laughter became a distant echo and I narrowed my eyes as the
urge grew. I’d probably survive.
“Bulla, are you ready to head back?” called Shoppa.
It was gone.
I raised my eyes to see my friends standing a few feet away with their arms
around one another’s waists. They all had red noses and were grinning from ear
to ear. Their faces made me realize how… different I felt. I hadn’t been myself
in so long that I was forgetting how to act. I stood up and smiled back at them
as we trudged down the mountain.
Along the way, I gradually fell behind. They didn’t seem to notice. I stopped
at one point to check out a pretty pink flower sprouting from the hard, cold
earth and looked up to see they were gone. All I could hear was their laughter
echoing off the mountainside. No one really noticed when I vanished. I kept to
myself; I hid in the shadows and floated aimlessly like a ghost.
Dad couldn’t save me. No one could.
“Hi, Bulla.”
The voice had me on my feet in seconds. I saw Goku standing a few feet away,
wringing his hands in front of his stomach and smiling weakly at me. He waited
until I was separated from the herd. His intentions weren’t pure. I blinked
stupidly, hoping someone would swoop in and save me.
Goku looked at his feet. “I’ve been thinking for a while now and I wanted you
to come with me now. I want to know where you are. I want you to be mine.”
The mountain was quiet during the winter. Would screaming do me any good?
He walked forward a step and awkwardly stopped in the next, falling back on his
heels. I took a few steps back and my shoes crunched the frozen grass. We stood
there in silence for a while, with Goku staring down and me praying he would
lose his confidence and leave. His shoulders were hunched.
“My parents are expecting me,” I said.
No response. His fingers were moving rapidly in sync with one another as he
wrung his hands. The smile was gone but I could see his lips moving slightly;
he was talking to himself. I hesitated for another minute, trying to suppress
the old feelings I had worked so hard to hide. It took a long time for me to
convince myself I wasn’t attracted to Goku on any level. I needed to leave.
When I stepped back again he jerked forward, rapidly approaching like he was
drunk. I carefully took a few more steps back and he followed without missing a
beat. The tension was mounting. My eyes flickered to his hands and I suddenly
remembered all those nights they had been all over me, exploring and showing me
things I never could’ve imagined.
No. It was wrong. I had to fly away.
“I’m… I… I…” Goku stuttered terribly and continued walking forward even as I
backed away. “I… love you. I bought you nice things, I showed you nice things.
I thought you loved me, too. Even Vegeta seemed to be okay with it. Why are you
avoiding me?”
I swallowed nervously but my mouth was dry. “Dad hardly approved. It killed
him. I thought I liked you but you’re not you. The Goku I know wouldn’t snap
the necks of three teenage boys. We’ve been doing really bad things and it
isn’t right. You can’t buy me things and think it’ll be okay.”
“Those boys were hurting you,” Goku said. “You were too afraid to fly. There’s
no way for me to know if they would’ve tried it again. I let Frieza get away
and look what he did. I love you, Bulla, and I want you to stay with me. When
we kissed it made everything fall into place.”
“No it didn’t. Stop telling me how to feel. You’ve been doing it since the
first time you showed up in my bedroom. I’m not a stupid little girl. I don’t
need your help with boys and I never want to see your face again. Go back to
your stupid house and leave me alone or I’ll tell my father.”
The next second I was pinned to a tree with Goku’s considerable weight holding
me hostage there. He sealed my lips with his when I started to scream and
ignored my frantic pawing at his broad back, knotting his hands in my hair
eagerly. I tried to fly but no amount of energy could boost me into the sky. As
usual, I was at his mercy.
When he finally pulled away, he was trembling. He swallowed hard and his Adam’s
apple bobbed up and down his throat like it was choking him. I shoved him back
angrily, fighting the tears springing into my eyes. Why me? Why was it always
me?
The sound of Pan’s voice calling my name floated up the silent mountain from
far away. Goku was suddenly even more nervous than before, unable to stop
twisting his fingers even though they were turning red and raw. She called for
me again and he squeezed his eyes shut.
“I have to go,” I said. My lips hurt.
Goku shook his head furiously and started pacing, crushing holes in the frozen
grass without noticing. He’d been thinking about approaching me for a while but
he didn’t have the right opportunity. I stuck with my friends for the most part
to stop bad things from happening.
Realization seeped into my mind like a boiling poison; I could barely think
straight as Pan’s voice came closer. My words came out as a whisper. I was
afraid to say it.
“You’re not going to let me leave.”
There was no reply, not even a glance. My blood froze over. I could feel my
pupils contracting, shriveling up to small pinpricks to gauge whether or not I
had a shot at running away from Goku. Sure I could scream, but did it matter?
There was no sensation in my hands but I knew they were shaking.
Pan came too close.
Goku’s head snapped up and the next minute, we weren’t on the mountain. I
really hated instant transmission. It felt like my soul was being torn through
a cheese grater and filtered down a horribly narrow tube just to be spat out at
the end like garbage. I didn’t know how Goku could bear using it so frequently,
but I wasn’t fast enough to tell him to fly instead.
We were on the bottom floor of his house by the front door. The second my right
foot twisted to run he grabbed me by the back of my neck, now much more
comfortable in the safety of his home. He smiled as I kicked at his legs and
carried me up the rickety stairs.
I was on my back in his bed. Goku crawled on top of me and pinned my wrists on
either side of my head with his huge hands. Struggling was useless. He was
dense as a piece of moon rock. His black eyes glittered excitedly until I
screamed for help; his hands hurriedly covered my mouth and he shushed me.
“I tried to be nice,” he said, “and I even waited so you could think about it.
But I can’t wait anymore. I love you, Bulla, and I want you here with me. No
one will ever know. They’ll think you disappeared on the mountain. That means I
can keep you here forever and ever and neither of us has to sleep alone at
night from now on. I’ll bring you presents every day.”
It was surreal. Well, most of my life had felt that way for a while now but I
still had a hard time believing that Goku had lost his mind. I honestly doubted
he had ever been completely sane. It was obvious but no one noticed. We all
chalked it up to being a part of Goku’s “loveable” personality. The gentle,
brutishly powerful protector of Earth—no, the entire universe—was just a bit
unstable.
His hands were curious and surprisingly gentle, trembling against my flesh like
he was afraid I might break. I certainly felt fragile. I was tiny and helpless
despite my alien heritage; a mouse trapped under the merciless paws of a hungry
cat. Goku played and enjoyed himself while I prayed for it to end. Death was
better than eternal torture.
When we were naked my reverie broke and I started panicking and thrashing. Goku
held me down with his immense weight and I could feel every inch of solid
muscle pressing against me. He paused to smile at me, choosing to ignore my
terror and mistake it for happiness. He touched my hair. God, it felt like he
was on fire—Saiyans were so damn hot.
“I’ll never let anyone hurt you,” Goku said.
I started laughing.
A few more minutes and my last barriers were down, but I was still laughing in
spite of the excruciating pain. It was getting hard to breathe between Goku’s
weight and his ferocious thrusts. He covered my mouth when I refused to stop
cackling. The only sounds were his hot panting in my ear and the methodical
creaking of his bed. It was otherwise horribly silent.
“Chi-Chi,” he groaned, burying his face in my neck. “I love you.”
There was a reflexive gag in my chest like I was going to puke. My subsequent
scream mutated into more hysterical laughter. It was hilarious how two people
having such an intimate moment could be in two totally different worlds.
Together, but just barely.
Goku cried. I laughed. Either way, we both got what we wanted.
***** Fourteen *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
When I was five, my father brought our entire family to a distant planet for
vacation. It was nice enough. The air was thinner than Earth’s and gravity was
stronger, but it posed no problem to Trunks and I. We flew around the desolate
fields, catching weird animals while mom and dad lounged at the cabin. It was
fun until I started noticing unbearable itching underneath my skin.
It turned out the planet hosted parasitic worms that burrowed into the flesh
and crawled around at night. Mom fainted when we saw one slithering in my leg.
Dad tried to help but he was terrified of worms. Trunks just thought it was
cool. Thankfully, Dende was able to heal me a few days later.
That same horrible, itchy, violated feeling was back with a vengeance. I really
wanted to lie still and fuse with the bed sheets but I couldn’t stop moving and
scratching. There was an uncomfortable pulse between my legs and I could still
feel fluid residue making my thighs stick together as I tossed and turned in
the small bed, hoping I could disappear.
The crawling under my skin made it impossible to stay in bed. My legs trembled
as I stepped on the cool hardwood floor and made my way toward the bedroom
door. Blood rushed to my head, making me stumble and nearly fall. My hand fell
upon the doorknob and I twisted it.
Nothing. The handle turned slightly just to repeatedly click against the lock.
Annoyed, I tried ripping the doorknob from the door but it remained firmly in
place. I was tired and afraid. It was dark. I wanted to go home. I threw my
weight against the door and it still didn’t budge, not even an inch.
Frustrated, I paced over to the small window near the bed to kick out the
glass.
One well-aimed kick was enough to totally destroy the window, including the
frame. I climbed into the hole and managed to fly out, though I dipped and
wavered erratically as I flew. My energy faded fast, forcing me to land in a
collection of bushes. I sat up and tried to collect my thoughts.
“Bulla, what are you doing outside?!”
Goku was a distance away with a huge fish slung over his shoulder. He dropped
it on the ground and pulled off his shirt as he approached me. I scrambled away
on my hands and knees but he was there soon enough. He quickly pulled the shirt
over me and hoisted me to my feet, chastising me for going outside stark naked.
I hadn’t even realized it.
We went back inside after my brief taste of freedom. Goku sat me down at the
kitchen table and offered me a bagel with butter, which I grudgingly ate. I was
too hungry to refuse. He sat across from me, beaming like a ray of sunshine and
fidgeting with the tablecloth as I ate. His black eyes were examining my face
for any signs of emotion but I was borderline catatonic.
When I was finished he added the dish to the clutter in the sink and pulled his
chair beside mine. Our thighs touched. It looked like the chair was gonna
collapse under his weight. He put his arms on the table and folded his hands
together patiently, clearly expecting me to say something.
I bit the inside of my cheek. There was nothing to say. Well, maybe there was,
but I didn’t want to talk about it. If I tried really hard I might be able to
forget the entire night. I could be back in my bedroom watching TV while mom
chatted on the phone downstairs and dad ransacked the fridge. Trunks would stop
by for a visit when he was done at Capsule Corp. and everything would be
normal.
“My shirt looks nicer on you than me,” Goku said. He sounded so innocent and
genuine.
I looked down. It was big, of course. The hem was all the way down at my knees.
It smelled vaguely of water and sweat and that made me sick to my stomach. Goku
gently took one of my arms in his hands and rolled up the sleeve to my elbow,
tightening and tying it with the slack. He reached over me to do the same thing
with my other sleeve. My stomach knotted. Get away from me.
“There,” he said, smoothing my hair down, “much better. Now you don’t look like
you just rolled out of bed. Do you want anything else?”
I shook my head and wrapped my arms around myself. My skin was crawling. Why
had I ever thought any of this was a good idea? He was seriously disturbed. I
should’ve told my parents as soon as he showed up in my bedroom. I was blinded
by my desire to see the good in him; the heart of gold everyone was always
going on and on about.
All I could see in Son Goku’s heart was a writhing mess of resent and sorrow;
of regret over his lost love clouded by his unhealthy need to be needed. I
didn’t want to look any deeper. I was afraid to. Goku had more problems than a
sixteen year old girl could solve. I had no clue why I ever wanted to know
more. Anyone actually looking into his eyes was immediately aware that
something was very wrong.
Sometimes, if I tried really hard, I could see the same pain in dad’s face.
They knew what true loss was. They had been beaten to a pulp by aliens who were
so evil it made you physically sick being in their presence. Their entire race
had been obliterated by a psychopath with neutron stars at his fingertips. The
façade broke in dad’s eyes every once in a while.
It had never broken in Goku until Chi-Chi died. He was the image of happiness
and innocence. It shattered easily enough and the true nature within was free
to come out. If he turned his head the right way or showed his teeth in a
certain light, the broken image was reflected and no one could tell. He worked
very hard at painting the image of confidence while his insides were roiling.
Goku led me out of the kitchen to the basement. I expected it was where he
would hide me. He helped me down the stairs and proudly blabbered about how he
had fixed it for me. It hadn’t changed too much. He put in a bed. There were
what looked like coloring books on the coffee table, along with pens, pencils,
and markers. Sheets of loose-leaf were stacked neatly on the nightstand.
“You don’t have to stay here forever. I just want to make sure you don’t leave
when I’m gone.” His arm slithered around my back and he kissed the top of my
head. “Your parents are probably worried. It’s almost morning so you’ve
technically been lost on the mountain all night. They’ll want me to help look
but this time you’re not going back.”
“Dad’s gonna come here first,” I said.
“Vegeta’s reckless, not stupid. He wouldn’t come here and risk anything
happening to you. I guess he might if he gets really desperate but with me
being immortal and all I don’t really see the point.”
“I’m his daughter and he loves me. He’ll come.”
“Why would he? You’re safe and warm with me. I’ll let you back out again when
you’re thinking a little more rationally and everything will be perfect. But I
know I can’t trust you to go outside and come home so you’ll have to stay in
here for a while. Don’t worry, you’ll see everyone again.”
“You’re crazy,” I said. “They’ll figure it out eventually. Gohan already knows
something’s wrong with you. All it takes is one conversation with my dad.”
A few moments later, I was being led to the bed. When I sat down I kept my legs
firmly crossed. Goku sat in front of me Indian-style and smiled. I hated how he
smiled. It didn’t look like he wanted to be between the sheets again so I
managed to keep myself from panicking.
“Bulla,” he said, “you’re all mine now. Your father knows you belong to me and
he won’t try to take you away.” He reached forward to brush my hair away from
my face. “That would be instigating a fight.”
My mind reviewed memories, rewinding the past few months like tapes. Dad hadn’t
spoken to me in a while but I stumbled upon a particular event that stuck with
me. When we were in my bedroom the night I went to the party, the one where
Goku snapped the boys’ necks. It was one of the last times dad really talked to
me.
“Kakarot won’t want to wait much longer. He’s an impetuous fool.”
Ice crept into my veins. Kakarot won’t want to wait much longer. Was that dad’s
way of telling me Goku would kidnap me? Why had my father allowed it to happen?
I scowled deeply and pulled Goku’s shirt over my knees, now beginning to feel
anger in my vast emptiness. Saiyans were horrible.
Goku looked down at his hands. “I’m sorry for saying Chi-Chi’s name last
night.”
“I don’t care,” I said.
“Well I just wanted you to know that I won’t next time. She’s been gone for a
while now and I want to be happy with you.”
“Why does that have to involve holding me against my will?”
“You’re only sixteen, Bulla,” he said. “There are a lot of people who want to
hurt you. I’m afraid everyone will know about us before they’re ready to accept
it. I don’t want them to hate me. But if we wait a while they’ll understand and
we can all get along.”
“I said it before and I’ll say it again. You’re crazy.”
There was a loud knock upstairs. Goku’s eyes suddenly hardened over and he took
off his sash to tie it tightly around my mouth. I struggled with the gag as he
hurried upstairs, slamming the basement door shut and leaving me alone. Dad was
already here. He was gonna knock Goku out, run downstairs and bring me back
home where I belonged.
People started talking.
“Dad, Bulla’s gone.” Gohan.
“I’ll help you look for her,” Goku said. “I can just pinpoint her energy and
bring her home.”
“We already tried that,” said Goten.
Uh oh. It wasn’t looking good for Goku.
“You know what it means if you can’t find her energy,” Goku said. “She’s gone.
Did you come here to ask me to help you tell Bulma? I really can’t. I don’t
want to deal with more crying.”
Gohan sighed. “Dad, you know there’s more than one possibility. Either she’s
gone, like you said, or she’s near an incredibly high energy level that’s
obscuring hers. Now, who on this planet populated with weak humans has a high
energy level?”
No one said anything for a few minutes, but I was excited. They knew he had me.
They were trying to get him to admit it before they barged into the house, came
downstairs, and set me free. If only I could rip the damn sash off my mouth. I
could scream and save us some time.
“We’re going to use the Dragon Balls to wish her back from the dead,” Goten
said. He sounded sad. “If she doesn’t come back or Shenron tells us she’s still
on Earth… well, I think we know where to look.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Goku said.
“You’re breaking Bulma’s heart.” Gohan wasn’t interested in beating around the
bush. “You’re lucky we came here instead of Vegeta because he’s not happy.
We’re giving you a chance to do what’s right and give a little girl back to her
family. Please take it.”
They left a few moments later. I heard the front door shut and Goku screamed
furiously. I leapt off the bed to hide underneath it as he came storming down
the stairs, practically breaking them. He knelt down on the floor beside the
bed and dragged me from underneath it. His hands wrapped around my biceps with
a painfully tight grip; he was no happy. He gave me a violent shake.
“What did you do?” he hissed.
I grinned hugely against the gag. Absolutely nothing. His sons were just much
smarter than him.
Goku pushed me down on the bed and twisted a fistful of my hair. “You’re being
bad. Very bad. Now I have to think of a way out of this.”
Our second time together was even worse than the first. Goku was angry. He
ignored me. I hated how volatile his moods were now. I was walking on thin ice
at all times. My shirt never came off—he was more worried about what was
between my legs.
When he was done he fell asleep beside me. Why didn’t they take me home?
***** Fifteen *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
We spent a lot of time rehearsing.
Goku sat across from me on the bed, only wearing boxers, and held my shoulders
firmly to look deep into my eyes. He wanted me to tell them I was happy living
in his house and that I didn’t want to leave. I was only sixteen so my parents
could force me to even if I refused. He was at his wit’s end. He had nowhere to
hide me and nowhere to run.
I knew he wanted to move me to another planet. It didn’t matter—even if he did,
the wish on the Dragon Balls still wouldn’t come true. They would all know I
was alive somewhere and dad would stop at nothing to find me. Even if I
insisted I loved Goku and wanted to stay with him, it was still illegal. Not to
mention downright wrong. I needed to go to school.
“Remember that I didn’t make you come here,” Goku said. “You never told me you
were uncomfortable with anything and we’re both happy. You weren’t happy at
home.”
Huh. He had a point. Had I ever said no? Even on the mountain I never outright
refused. But I wanted to leave. Right? I scratched my head and nodded. Goku
smiled and kissed me on the forehead, very much confident that I wouldn’t rat
him out. I didn’t know if I would. I wanted to but I felt bad.
What was the pain of losing someone you loved? I had never lost anything really
important to me. Goku had been married to Chi-Chi for years. They were always
together in times of peace. I didn’t know how that kind of soul-tearing loss
could really affect you. Maybe it was wrong of me to judge Goku. He had a big
heart. It was possible he couldn’t tolerate loss.
No. I should be mad. He took me to his house against my will, forced me down
and…
We were lying down. Goku was rubbing my back, humming softly. I wanted to be
mad at him but I couldn’t bring myself to uncork the resentment in my stomach.
He attacked me. He didn’t even seem to know he did something wrong. In his
eyes, I genuinely wanted it and had trouble telling him. God, he was so stupid.
Why the hell was I having such a hard time hating him?
There was a deeply disturbed man lying next to me who really needed help. He
missed his wife terribly and there was nothing I could do to help him. This was
a problem adults had to solve. His problems started way before Chi-Chi died and
just got worse after she was gone. He needed pills or something.
“I can’t lose you, too,” Goku whispered.
Goddammit. He was playing me like an upright violin.
A few minutes later, he suddenly rose from the bed and sat on the edge for a
while, gazing across the room. I turned to look at his broad back that
practically rippled with muscle. He leaned forward to rest his head in his
hands and his skin contorted around the bulk he spent so many years training
for. Goku was big. I still couldn’t get over it. It was hard to believe he was
real sometimes.
The Saiyan turned to look at me and I saw it again when our eyes met—fathomless
pain. He smiled weakly. My heart was pounding so hard I thought my rib cage
would break. I wanted to comfort him, to tell him it would all be okay. But I
couldn’t. I didn’t know how. What did it feel like to lose someone you love so
dearly? There was no way I could help him.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “They won’t let you stay with me.”
“You can’t blame them. You’re still on the watchlist for murdering your wife.
They’re probably worried you’ll do the same thing to me. And there’s the huge
age difference.”
Goku frowned. “You’re old enough to know what’s right and wrong. You liked what
we did, right? I wanted you to know what it feels like. I was being nice.”
Nice. Sneaking into my bedroom at night to grope me, kidnapping me off a
mountain, and taking my virginity by force were his idea of “nice.” I knew
there was good intentions buried very deep beneath the surface bad stuff, but
still… he must literally be crazy if he thought any of that was nice.
When I failed to respond Goku’s frown deepened. “Bulla? Didn’t you like it?”
The second time was worse than the first. He was mad at me that time. I hadn’t
taken a shower for a day or two now and I really wanted to scrub my skin off.
My gaze dropped to my arms lying limp in my lap. The baggy sleeves made it
impossible to see, but there were purple bruises on my forearms and probably
many more on the back of my neck. It was humiliating even being in the same
room with him. He had seen all of me.
My eyes widened. Memories were trickling back bit by bit. I’d seen Goku totally
naked before, mostly because he was shameless about nudity. But it took on a
whole new meaning during sex. Desire brought out the animal rather than the
quirky, well-meaning man I had known my whole life. It was weird thinking of
him looking at my body and wanting me that way.
“You must have liked it,” Goku said. “You were moaning and stuff. Doesn’t that
mean you like it?”
“I guess.”
“You guess? That’s not a good answer.” He cocked his head, now almost facing me
again. “I don’t want you to be mad at me. You can tell me if I’m hurting you.
It’s hard for me sometimes. You want to stay here with me, don’t you? We can be
happy.”
“All this will lead to is… nothing. It’s just gonna end badly for both of us.
My parents are gonna barge in here and take me home in a few hours and no
amount of pleading will change that.”
Now he was fully turned toward me. He took one of my hands in his and propped
my chin up on his fingertip. I was afraid to look in his eyes. That led me down
the road to ruin. I looked straight at his mouth and watched it curve into a
sadder frown. He was disappointed.
“You were laughing,” he said. “I thought it meant you were happy.”
I shrugged and kept staring at his lips. They were nice. Oddly, none of us
Saiyans seemed to grow any body hair. I only had to shave like once a month and
I’d seen everyone else with our blood shirtless a ton of times. No one had
chest or armpit hair. I was the only female half breed. Pan barely had any
Saiyan left in her to qualify.
“Don’t tell me you didn’t want to do it. I thought you were teasing. You wanted
to kiss me and sometimes Chi-Chi did that as a joke.”
Hmm. The Saiyan race ended with my death. I was the last woman to have a
recognizable trace in me. I wondered if the planet would be more peaceful when
we were all gone.
Goku suddenly grabbed my wrist and I squealed in pain. My bruises were still
fresh. He shoved the sleeve up and glared furiously at the multicolored spots
all over my skin. His grip tightened. He threw my hand away which would have
broken a normal person’s arm. I quickly rolled the sleeve back down, hoping it
wouldn’t set him off again.
“You didn’t tell me it hurt. If you said something, I would’ve stopped.” Goku
folded his arms. It looked a little menacing. “It’s hard for me to tell the
difference.”
“So when I was screaming and you covered my mouth, you thought I was teasing
you.”
Now he was scowling. “Well you don’t need to be so squirmy and whiny. I know
what’s best for you, Bulla. You’re too young to know.”
“Tell that to my father when he comes here to kick your ass.”
“I don’t know why you keep saying that,” he said. “You know it isn’t true.”
“Dad loves me. He’ll pound you into the dirt when he finds out about what
you’ve been doing.”
“Well, gee.” Goku rubbed the back of his head, smiling. “Isn’t it gonna be
kinda awkward for you to tell him you and I… you know. Have been together? I
can’t even imagine the look on his face. He’ll be too embarrassed to do
anything if you ask me.”
There was a shred of truth in his words. It wouldn’t be easy telling my father
any of that. Maybe it could wait until I was safely out of harm’s way. I could
say he made me draw a lot of pictures or something. I turned away from Goku and
shut my eyes, hoping he’d take the hint and go away.
Someone started knocking on the door a while later. Goku got up and I moved to
follow him, but he made me stay in the basement. I sat next to the door and
listened, hoping it was my parents coming to get me. I wanted to go home. But I
kind of wanted to stay.
“Where is my daughter?!” I heard mom scream.
A lot of people walked into the tiny house and I eagerly pressed myself closer
to the door. It was hard to tell, but it seemed like everyone came along. They
must have been bracing for a fight with Goku. He was the most powerful being in
the universe, though. Even a group of strong fighters would have a hard time
beating him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Goku said.
“Shenron said she’s still alive,” Gohan said, irritated. “Are you hiding her
here or did you bring her to another planet? We all really want to go home,
dad, so just tell us.”
“If you even laid a finger on her,” my mother said, “you’ll be in a whole new
world of pain.”
“Is this because of mom?” Goten asked.
“Dad, tell us where she is.” Gohan was not happy.
“Vegeta can’t wait to come here and break your neck,” mom said.
“You know you can’t take little girls away from their parents,” Goten said.
“We’ve been over this so many times before—”
“What?” mom shrieked. “When did this happen before?!”
“Where is Bulla?” Gohan demanded.
“It was a while ago. He met some teenage girl and took her home.” Goten laughed
bitterly. “No wonder mom was so stressed out. I bet that’s what killed her.”
They were all talking over each other. I felt a tingling in my arm—I should’ve
pounded on the door. I was frozen in place listening to them bicker. Goku was
silent. I didn’t even hear him breathing. He wanted them to forgive him. I
shrank back and rested my forehead on my knees. They didn’t have to fight right
now. They should be more worried about bringing me home.
The handle suddenly started jiggling. I darted down the stairs and crawled
under the bed again, trying to hide from the argument. Someone pounded on the
door and yelled my name. It sounded like Gohan. This whole situation hit him
where it hurt. He had a daughter my age.
“I’ll gladly help you look for her,” Goku said.
“Goten, help me open this,” Gohan said.
A few seconds passed and the door burst open. They were strong enough to force
it. I saw two feet appear in front of me and realized Goku used instant
transmission to get to me before they did. A lot of people walked downstairs. I
crawled toward the wall, ignoring the dirty floor. My mouth was sealed shut. I
didn’t want to be heard or seen. I was humiliated.
They would see me and they would know. They’d all imagine it, whether they
wanted to or not.
“Get out of the way,” mom hissed. “Bulla, are you here? Come out, honey. We’re
taking you home.”
Goku growled. “She’s mine.”
“She’s sixteen,” Gohan said. “She belongs to her parents. Please don’t make
this any worse.”
“She belongs to me. I won’t let any of you touch her.” Goku stood firmly in
place.
There was a pregnant pause. They knew there was no way they could fight Goku
and win. They couldn’t force him to give me up. It was nerve-wracking. The most
powerful man in the universe was unhealthily obsessed with me. I started
chewing my nails, debating whether or not I should open my mouth.
When mom spoke, she sounded like she was on the verge of tears. “Goku, why are
you doing this to me? Bulla is my daughter. You can’t take her away from me
like this. We’ve been friends for all these years and it means nothing to you.”
“Things happen,” Goku said. “Bulla and I fell in love while all of you were
sitting around the dinner table talking about me murdering Chi-Chi. We had a
lot of time to get to know one another.”
“I told you he was watching us,” Goten said.
“Dad, we’re just exploring every possibility. The coroner exhumed mom’s body
and told us there was no foul play involved. You have to admit the
circumstances were weird.” Gohan always used big words.
“I wouldn’t murder my wife. I can’t believe any of you would even think that.
Bulla knew I didn’t without even asking. She’s the only one who’s been nice to
me since Chi-Chi died. All of you are too busy framing me to care. Bulla’s a
very nice girl and I don’t want any of you ruining that.”
None of them knew what to do or say. I was only a few steps away—I could see
mom’s heels a few feet in front of Goku’s bare feet. They couldn’t fight him
head on and I really didn’t want to leave. It was embarrassing just thinking
about what I looked like. My arms were bruised, my hair was dirty, and I hadn’t
slept at all. They would look at me and they would know.
Mom started crying a few minutes later. Gohan’s black shoes moved over to
comfort her and I saw Goten drop to his knees. I scurried back as far as I
could but he lowered his head to the floor and our eyes met through the
darkness. He smiled at me before Goku stepped in front of his line of vision.
“At least let us see her,” Goten said.
Goku tapped his foot thoughtfully before stepping out of the way. I saw Goten’s
wide black eyes stare at me for a few seconds, then he reached forward and
offered me his hand. My skin was crawling again. I didn’t want to be touched. I
shrank back so far the wall behind me felt like it was gonna break.
“Come on out,” Goten said gently. “Your mother wants to see you.”
“Bulla?” mom managed between sobs. “Bulla, are you okay?”
I had to at least show her I was okay. Nervous, I gradually pulled myself
across the dirty floor until I was at the edge of the bed. Goten tried to take
my arm and I jerked away. He turned and shared a loaded look with his brother.
I crept out into the light and Goku immediately helped me to my feet, growling
again when Goten reached out. Moving around made me light-headed. I had to lean
on Goku.
My mother’s lower lip quivered and she burst into tears again. I was aware that
my eyes were wide and staring but I couldn’t help it. It was bewildering. They
all knew what happened. I should have told them but I never did. Goten looked
at me for a while before shaking his head and turning away. His brother passed
my mother off to him and knelt in front of me, searching my face.
“No one knows you’re here, Bulla,” Gohan said. “We haven’t told Pan or any of
your friends. None of this is your fault so you don’t have to be worried about
us thinking of you any differently. You’re only sixteen. None of us blame you.
But I do need to know if you’re okay.”
When I looked up at Goku, he nodded. I did the same.
“Do you want to go home?” Gohan asked.
It was a loaded question. Did I want to go home? I glanced at my mother and
shrugged. There would be a lot of questions I didn’t want to answer.
Gohan looked up at his father and scowled. “She needs to go home, dad.”
“She is home,” Goku said firmly.
Before anyone could say anything more, there was a loud crash outside followed
by the sound of my brother’s voice pleading with someone. My heart beat faster
and I pressed closer to Goku but he was grinning from ear-to-ear. People came
storming into the house and soon enough, I saw my father tailed by Trunks at
the bottom of the stairs.
Dad’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his skull. He screamed and
charged at Goku.
***** Sixteen *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
Dad and Goku immediately disappeared when they connected. There was a moment of
silence before we heard the sounds of energy blasting holes in the earth
outside. Gohan shook his head and gestured for Goten to lead my mother
upstairs. She was hysterical. Nothing would ever be the same. When they were
gone, I noticed my brother was still staring at me from across the room.
Gohan cleared his throat. “Trunks, you should probably help your father. We
need to calm both of them down and I’m afraid they’ll kill one another before
that happens. I’ll talk to Bulla.”
Talk? About what? I didn’t want to talk.
Trunks nodded vaguely, eyes flickering up and down to make sure I was still in
one piece. He didn’t smile reassuringly or anything like that but he left as he
was told. When the door shut, Gohan ran a hand through his hair and took off
his glasses to rub his eyes. Everything was a mess right now. None of them know
what to say. There was nothing they could say.
It was just as hard for Gohan as everyone else. Pan was my age. He was
imagining it in his head: someone he trusted, maybe my father, kidnapping her
and forcing her to do things she didn’t want to. He didn’t want to look at me.
It just reinforced the nightmare.
“Bulla,” Gohan said, “tell me what happened.”
My eyes dropped to my feet. Goku’s shirt barely covered my knees. Gohan sat on
the bed and patted the spot next to him, leaning forward a bit when I unsurely
sat down. Normally he would’ve touched my back or my knee; something to tell me
he wasn’t an enemy. But I had learned that even the simplest touch could mean
darker intentions were buried deeper than the eye could see.
“I know it’s hard to talk about, but I really need to know. We can’t help you
if you don’t say anything. You don’t have to be embarrassed or afraid. Even a
vague summary will help me help you. Can you tell me when this all started
happening? Was it before or after Chi-Chi passed away?”
Something else was nagging me. They mentioned Goku had brought home a girl
before. I wanted to know who she was and why she did it. She must have been the
one Chi-Chi was talking about.
“Who was the other girl?” I asked. My voice was raw from misuse.
Gohan blinked. “It was nothing really. Well, I thought it was a mistake but I
guess this is a pattern with dad.”
“What happened?”
“You know how Goku is. He has the mind of a child and always will. If he sees
something he likes, he’ll take it. It’s been getting worse and worse over the
years until it plateaued into him kidnapping a girl from your high school. It
was while ago, when you were still… tiny. He kept her here for weeks before we
realized what was going on. We had to make a wish for her to forget all of it.”
“So when my father kept talking about Goku making passes at me, you didn’t
think there was a shred of truth in it?”
“We all thought he considered you off-limits.” Gohan gently touched my hand and
looked into my eyes, but I was glaring at the floor. “I’m very sorry, Bulla. We
were all too concerned with tackling how we felt about my mother passing away
so suddenly. I wish you had been able to tell one of us.”
No, Goku didn’t see me as restricted. I was the perfect target.
The entire house suddenly shook and Gohan quickly led me upstairs in the chance
the whole thing caved in. We went outside to see most of the forest around the
house had been destroyed and light kept flashing in different spots in the sky.
I’d seen enough fights to know what it was. They were moving too fast for our
eyes to keep up.
There was a break in the flashing and Goku flew out of the sky, carving a huge
crater in the ground that propelled him along for a few yards. He wiped blood
from the corner of his mouth as my father landed heavily near Gohan and I,
panting and gripping his left arm. He glanced at me and scowled.
“Where’s Trunks?” Gohan asked.
Dad jerked his head in the direction of the collapsed trees. My brother was
passed out in the rubble, glasses smashed and resting a few feet away. He must
have been alive or dad would have been even angrier. Goku pulled himself out of
the crater and grinned widely at my father, who promptly powered up and started
glowing gold.
“Aw, Vegeta, is this really worth wasting energy?” Goku asked. He was still
sitting, leaning forward casually on his knees. Totally at ease and not out of
breath. “Bulla’s in one piece. I don’t know what all of you are so mad about.”
“You kidnapped my daughter,” dad snarled, “and kept her in your filthy
basement. I will kill you before the day is through, Kakarot.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.”
They met in a flurry of punches again, causing a sonic boom that almost knocked
Gohan and I over. My chaperone finally realized my father was once again
fighting a losing battle and joined the fray to help him. Someone was
occasionally thrown out of the fight and had to readjust themselves before
going back in. Every time I saw Goku emerge, he was smiling.
As I watched, it slowly dawned upon me that I personally needed to do
something. Standing around watching the three of them beat the life out of one
another was not helping.
I carefully and quietly left the scene, only taking flight when I was a good
distance away. I knew what I had to do and I knew where to go. Mom was probably
home already, curled up in bed waiting for the rest of her family to come back.
Goten might have already started the trip back to fight his father.
My flying was a bit wobbly but I made it home. I made my way inside and tiptoed
through the house, hoping they had left out what I needed. It wasn’t gonna be
easy. Everything was about to change. But looking at the current circumstances,
that change was a good thing.
A low hum drew me to them. They were resting in mom’s lab, glowing faintly on a
white pillow. I couldn’t summon Shenron in the house or I’d end up killing both
myself and my mother, so I took off the pillow cover and dropped the Dragon
Balls inside. They had to be taken somewhere far away.
No one was there to stop me on my way back out. The power pulsating from the
Dragon Balls seemed to propel me as I flew towards the wilderness, trying to
avoid Mt. Paozu. You could still see and hear the battle: it was like lightning
kept striking the ground. I didn’t want them to fight because of me. We were
all happy before, close friends that couldn’t be torn apart.
It was all my fault for encouraging Goku. I was stupid.
Soon I found a roomy field that gave the dragon enough room to emerge from his
dimension. I poured the Balls out of a spot of soft soil and cleared my throat.
It was my first time summoning him. Dad said he could be kind of cranky
sometimes. Maybe he’d be in a good mood this time.
“Arise, Shenron!” I called.
The sky immediately began to darken. It would be a red flag to everyone that
the Dragon Balls were being used, but I was the summoner and Shenron would only
listen to me. The Balls began to glow more brightly until they exploded into
neon orange light that bathed the meadow in sunset hues. Shenron spiraled out
of the portal and roared into the sky, settling in a curled position way above
the trees.
“What is your final wish?” he asked. His voice resonated off the mountain.
“Bulla, stop!”
I turned to see Goku, Gohan, and my father standing a few feet away. Where did
they come from? Gohan was supporting my father, who looked like he was passed
out. Goku took a step forward and splayed his hands to look less threatening.
They were all bleeding and covered in bruises.
“What are you doing?” Goku asked.
“I want everything to be normal again. I don’t want any more fighting.”
“Making a wish won’t solve anything,” Gohan said. “We need you to come home and
tell us what happened. We can fix this.”
Goku shot his son a dirty look. “Bulla isn’t going anywhere. She’s staying with
me.”
It was never gonna end.
Shenron focused intently on me when I was facing him again. He looked a bit
tired. Granting so many wishes had to be exhausting, even if you were eternal
and immortal. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to steady myself. This
was it. The clock was about to turn back.
“I want to go back in time,” I said. “Turn everything back to the day Chi-Chi
died. I don’t know if you can erase timelines but this one is doing nothing but
hurting a lot of people. I know I can make things right if you can give me a
second chance, Shenron.”
“No!” Goku shouted.
The dragon glanced at him and back at me. “History is very likely to repeat
itself, small one. It is within my power to turn time but I cannot guarantee
you will be pleased with its outcome. Time is fickle. Are you willing to risk
this future for the slim possibility of a better one?”
We were all going to be erased and rewritten. Time itself was going to bend
over backwards for me. I nodded firmly and Shenron’s red eyes glowed brighter.
As I felt my consciousness slipping, someone hugged me tightly from behind. It
was warm and familiar.
“I will always protect you.”
The voice could’ve been anyone’s. I was rapidly slipping out of my body,
rewinding through time to the turning point in my life. The person fell away
and I did, too, into an abyss where my soul waited to be injected into a new
body. A body that hadn’t been violated. A body with a new beginning.
***** Redux *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
Chapter Notes
     This is the second half of the story, another 15 chapters or so. The
     sequel is 10 chapters and I'll be posting that after this. :)
My heart started beating again.
I flew up in bed to the sound of my alarm, eyes wild with fear. It continued to
beep until I slapped a hand on the snooze button, accidentally smashing it in
the process. My whole body was trembling. I tugged up the sleeves of my pajamas
to see my arms were not bruised at all. Nothing felt weird or painful between
my legs, either. Everything was back to normal.
Well, for the most part. Chi-Chi was doomed to die in less than twelve hours. I
hopped out of bed to examine myself in the mirror and considered trying to stop
her heart attack from ever happening. Maybe if I kept her awake and near a
hospital they could save her before it was too late.
That would be the best solution. Goku would still have his wife and I wouldn’t
have to worry about fighting him off anymore. I’d make sure I kept a close eye
on him from as great a distance as possible. I definitely didn’t want him
looking for other girls in place of me. That was always a possibility.
I scowled at my reflection. No, jealousy was not an option. Chi-Chi deserved to
live and be happy with her husband. The world was my oyster yet again and I had
nothing holding me back from doing what I wanted. Right now, everyone was
perfect. We were all friends, no one was fighting and best of all, I didn’t
have Goku sneaking in my bedroom at night.
Mom and dad were sitting at the kitchen table downstairs, sipping coffee and
studying their newspapers. They both looked normal. My mother glanced up and
clapped her hands together but before she could mention my birthday, I locked
her in a tight embrace. She laughed and hugged me back while dad buried his
face further into the paper, trying to look uninterested.
“Someone’s an excited birthday girl,” mom said. “We’re going to set up the
decorations and snacks for your party later. Any last-minute requests?”
I shook my head. I was so happy I could cry.
Daddy recoiled when I left mom to hug him snugly around the neck and gruffly
muttered “happy birthday” when I backed off. My cell phone was still upstairs.
I wasn’t going to use it at the table anymore. My family was far too important;
they cared about me more than I had realized. I was always taking their love
for granted.
Yes, this time around I wouldn’t let it slip through my fingers. I was going to
be open with my parents. From now on, I would try hard in school, do all my
chores, and never, ever get involved with a guy. Well, not until I was out of
high school. Shenron had given me a second chance.
The doorbell rang. Mom hurried over to get it and I eagerly ate the breakfast
she made special for me: scrambled eggs and bacon with chocolate chip waffles.
My Saiyan side was more than happy to indulge in the food and dad watched
curiously as I wolfed it all down. I usually ignored me hunger but I wasn’t
going to do that anymore. I was going to—
“Chi-Chi, what a surprise!”
My father and I both turned at once to see Chi-Chi standing in the doorway with
my nightmare standing behind her. He was standing tall and proud, no longer
sheepish as he had been after his wife passed away. It was a new addition to my
future but I didn’t mind too much. The Goku I was seeing technically wasn’t bad
yet so I had no reason to be afraid of him.
“I should probably get ready for school,” I said.
“You argued with your mother about it for an hour last night.” Dad turned the
page of his paper. “We’re allowing you to stay home this once, but don’t go
believing it’s going to happen again.”
Huh. Another shift in time.
Chi-Chi came into the kitchen, smiling tightly at me. She was never really a
fan. I rose from my chair and hugged her briefly while trying not to make eye
contact with her husband. She handed me a small box wrapped in red paper and
nodded encouragingly for me to open it. It was concealing a smaller black box,
which I popped open to see what was inside.
A necklace with a small heart dangling on the chain was glittering in the early
morning light. My throat constricted painfully as I lifted it from the box and
clasped it behind my neck. It was like getting punched in the stomach over and
over again. I couldn’t believe it.
“Thank you very much,” I said.
“You’re welcome,” Chi-Chi said. “Goku and I were out shopping the other day and
he thought you might like it. I’m happy you do, Bulla.”
“Wow, Goku at the mall? That’s something I never thought I’d see.” Mom sat back
down next to dad and grinned at her childhood friend.
“Oh, he’s been a peach lately,” Chi-Chi replied. There was an edge to her
voice. “He’s going to be training for the weekend on his own so I’ll be all by
myself. This was just his way of sucking up to make sure I keep his stomach
full.”
Goku laughed nervously. “Aw, come on, Chi. I’m trying to be nice.”
My spine prickled. I promptly excused myself to go upstairs and start getting
ready for the day. None of them seemed surprised by my leaving but the Sons
remained to talk with my parents. When I was in my bedroom, I slammed the door
shut and began gnawing on my fingernails.
Was history repeating itself? Luckily I had my memories so I knew what I was
getting myself into. But that didn’t guarantee Goku would be nice to me. Even
if I turned him down or Chi-Chi lived, he still had the capacity to be evil. I
hoped his wife could curb his impulses like she did before.
I put on clothes and went to the bathroom to wash up and brush my teeth. Things
would turn out just fine if I paid attention this time around. When I was done
I grabbed my cell phone to text Shoppa and lounged in my room, waiting for the
Son family to leave. I had to make sure I was nice to Pan, too.
They didn’t leave for a while and I was forced to go back downstairs or risk
looking rude. The necklace felt especially cold on my skin. I sidled out to the
living room and plopped down in front of the TV while the adults talked about
boring things, like the education system and how Satan City was going down the
tubes since Hercule retired. I flipped through the channels rapidly.
“Bulla? Are you listening?”
I turned at the sound of my mother’s voice to see all of them looking at me,
including dad. Again I avoided Goku’s eyes to look straight at mom’s. “Uh, no.”
“I’m going to be baking cookies all afternoon,” Chi-Chi said. “It would be nice
if you could stop down around seven to pick them up.”
“Sure, no problem.”
“Be quick about it or Goku will eat them all.”
“Chi,” Goku said, “I wouldn’t eat Bulla’s birthday cookies.”
Everyone went back to talking and I politely excused myself to go outside. What
I needed was a walk. A nice, long walk in the city, as far away from the woods
as possible. Goku hated the city so he wouldn’t follow me there. He wasn’t
really frightening me at all but I didn’t want to take any chances. Last time I
let my guard down and it got me into a huge mess.
Satan City was bright and busy. I strolled through the streets with my wallet
clutched in hand, looking to see if anything struck my fancy. My parents were
being awfully lenient, letting me walk around the city all by myself and skip
school. It was one heck of a birthday.
I made my way into a jewelry store and was deciding between two silver rings
when someone suddenly hugged me fiercely from behind. I whirled around and the
hugger stepped backed, laughing at my reaction. Goten threw his arm around
Valese’s shoulders when she was beside him. A smile spread across my face. At
least some things hadn’t changed.
“You’re jumpy,” Valese said. “And playing hooky.”
“It’s her big birthday,” Goten said.
“Now I can officially drive and get a job. Life is great. Are you guys coming
to my party later?”
Valese nodded. “Of course! Goten was going to get me from school but I decided
to skip. I’m fed up with classes at this point.”
We talked for a while about school. I was ecstatic that I was doing so well in
the new past. Goku wasn’t weird, Chi-Chi may be able to live, and all my
friends and family were accounted for. Valese and Goten left after he talked
quietly with the jeweler about an order he placed. When they turned to leave,
Goten winked at me and gestured at his ring finger.
Shoppa met up with me at a café for lunch. She was the same, wearing a green
dress and heels. Her car keys jangled off her purse.
“Hellooooo birthday girl!” she squealed, hugging me around the neck.
I laughed and embraced her. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Um, hello, it’s your sixteenth birthday. Lunch is on me, by the way. Daddy got
a raise at work and my allowance got a raise, too.”
We ate our lunch and talked about my party, including who I was inviting. She
convinced me to invite a guy she was interested in and I told her I was going
to let Pan come down. Pan was still weird, even in an alternate timeline. The
conversation turned to Goten and Valese and their upcoming engagement. Luckily
our senior friend was kind of dense and didn’t know what her boyfriend was
planning.
The day wore on and Shoppa and I headed back to my house to get ready for the
party. When we arrived, Trunks was already there with dad helping him hang
decorations. Mom glanced at us and smiled as she stacked mini deli sandwiches
on a platter. Normally I would’ve complained about her not ordering out but I
was intent on doing things right.
“Well hello, Shoppa!” mom said.
“Hi Mrs. Briefs! Everything looks great!”
I rolled my eyes. Yep, Shoppa was still a suck up. Just like Goku.
My mother’s smiled grew and she shrugged. “Oh, most of that was Vegeta and
Trunks. They help me out if I ask nicely.”
“If by ‘nicely’ you mean threateningly, then yes,” Trunks grumbled.
“Be quiet!” dad barked.
“Thank you, sweetie,” mom said. “Bulla, you should probably head over to Chi-
Chi’s to get those cookies. Goku’s long gone now so she shouldn’t be in a bad
mood.”
It was the trip I had been dreading all day. What if I got there and Chi-Chi
was already dead? What if I saw Goku kill her? What if Goku was the only one
there? But I had no other choice. It was the pivotal moment for my future; the
one event everything depended on. I left the house with a heavy heart.
It was time to confront my new fate.
***** 1 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
The sun was sinking in the sky as I flew to the Son house. It was early fall
once again so I wasn’t terribly cold, but I didn’t have a lot of light to
finish my errand. I skimmed the tree tops when I was closer to Mt. Paozu to
avoid the prying eyes of people out for a brisk nighttime walk. The last thing
I needed was someone saying they saw me flying around.
I really hoped Chi-Chi was alright. That would make everything even easier than
I imagined. Of course I didn’t want her to die or anything. I scowled when the
smoke from their house came into view. Once again I was only thinking of myself
instead of other people. I needed to stop doing that.
The woods were eerily silent when I landed outside their door. As far as I
could tell, Goku wasn’t around. He wasn’t exactly quiet. I heaved a sigh and
knocked a few times to get Chi-Chi’s attention. A few minutes passed. A tight,
cold feeling tugged on my stomach and I called her name once or twice.
“This is all part of the past,” I said, turning the handle to let myself
inside. “It was destined to happen. Goku is probably sleeping next to her and
he’ll wake up and notice in an hour.”
Was it wrong of me to not try preventing her death? It had to be inevitable. If
she didn’t die tonight, she could the next night or the night after. Besides,
it wasn’t my responsibility to set everything straight. All I was doing was
making sure nothing happened between Goku and me.
It was equally as still and silent inside the house. I shut the door quietly
and tip-toed to the kitchen, where a few plates of cookies wrapped in tinfoil
were waiting on the table. All the lights were off. I made my way upstairs,
grimacing when the floorboards creaked. It was so quiet I could hear my heart
beating in my ears. All I wanted to do was see what happened to Chi-Chi.
The bedroom door was slightly ajar. My ears were more sensitive than a normal
person’s but I still couldn’t pick up even a hint of breathing. I carefully
nudged open the door and peered inside.
There was no one there. I walked in and wandered around the room for a few
minutes, checking to make sure Chi-Chi’s body wasn’t hidden somewhere. Where
could she have gone? Maybe she died in the basement instead this time. As I
scratched my head curiously, I felt a warm hand clap on my shoulder and squeeze
gently.
When I spun around, my left foot came up to land a swift kick to the stranger’s
face. But they easily deflected the blow and I toppled over on the floor after
quickly losing my balance. I rubbed my behind as the person laughed and offered
me their hand.
“You’re a little too slow,” Chi-Chi said.
She helped me to my feet and dusted off my shirt before leading me back
downstairs. I was relieved she was the only one home instead of her husband.
There was no way I’d let myself be in a dark, silent house with Goku ever
again.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, “but I was worried something was wrong. You didn’t
answer the door.”
“Oh I was just falling asleep in the basement. I finally convinced Goku to buy
a TV but he doesn’t want it upstairs.” Chi-Chi rolled her eyes as she packed
the cookies in a big bag. “Thank you for inviting Pan, by the way. She’s so
happy to be included with the other kids.”
“No problem at all, Mrs. Son. I think she’ll be really happy when she gets to
know some of my friends. It’s good for her to meet other kids instead of
hanging out at home all the time.”
“Just keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t do anything foolish. You
know, I was wondering if you could run an errand for me on the way home. Just
stop off somewhere to check something for me. I promise it won’t keep you from
your party for very long, if at all.”
There was coldness in her tone that I found… unsettling. I heaved the cookies
into my arms and nodded quickly, only intending on going to said place if it
would take five minutes or less. Chi-Chi smiled tightly at me and placed a
small slip of paper on top of the pile along with a sealed envelope.
“Just go to that address and deliver the letter,” she said. “But please be
careful. We wouldn’t want anything happening to the birthday girl now would
we?”
I awkwardly thanked her for the treats and left. Chi-Chi stared at me with her
eerie plastic smile.
After I was a good distance away I landed to open the piece of paper. There was
an address scribbled on it hastily and some wet spots blurred it a bit. It
looked to be a place in Satan City so I stashed the cookies in a capsule mom
loaned me and walked the rest of the way towards town. Technology was great.
Maybe Chi-Chi could get a GPS next.
The streets were black. I wasn’t afraid of much—even bullets didn’t pose a risk
to me. My reflexes and senses were keen enough to tell me when someone was
going to attack me and I could easily overpower a human man. If you got them in
groups and I was too afraid, that was a different story.
My eyes scanned the paper for any clues as to where I was going and who I was
delivering mail to. Why was I even helping her out? She couldn’t stand me. I
was tempted to tear open the envelope and see what Chi-Chi needed to be so
secretive about. At least she was still alive.
The paper brought me to the front door of a seedy motel I had no interest in
entering. I squinted at the address to make sure I was at the right place and
hesitantly walked inside to see the front clerk taking a snooze. His green hat
was askew, hiding his face. The whole place smelled like mold and it was
terribly hot, like an infested sauna. I plugged my nose and took the elevator.
Room 43. I made my way down the hallway until I found the room in question. My
gut was telling me to turn back; to leave and forget Chi-Chi ever asked me to
go. I swallowed my fear and knocked twice on the door. Please don’t dangerous,
please don’t be dangerous, please don’t—
The door swung open and I was once again confronted by the source of my
problems. Goku was just wearing pajama pants, characteristically unashamed of
his nude chest. He leaned against the doorframe and smiled at me while I
hastily handed him the letter. This was worse than I thought. I didn’t want to
be within a five mile radius of him.
“Hiya!” he said. “What’re you doing here so late? Want to come in?”
“Uh… no. Chi-Chi wanted me to give this to you before I headed home for my
party. I thought you were out training for the weekend?”
Goku’s smile faded. “Chi-Chi asked you to bring this to me? How did she know
where I was?”
“I’m more curious to know why you’re even—you know what, I actually don’t want
to know. Enjoy whatever it is you’re doing and I hopefully won’t see you
later.”
Before I could leave, Goku was tearing open the letter in a rush. His eyes
flickered down the page quickly and his expression hardened over the more he
read. It had to be something bad. I was about to politely excuse myself again
when he suddenly thrust the letter in my hands and spun around to go back in
his room. While he grabbed his shirt, I read the first few lines.
Dearest husband,
I hope you’re enjoying your stay in the hotel. You’re going to have a huge mess
to clean up when you come home and I won’t be around to help you. Maybe one of
your friends can help out. I know you’ve had both eyes set on a certain girl
for a while now…
The letter was torn out of my hands and ripped to pieces. Goku grabbed my wrist
and placed two fingertips to his forehead, immediately teleporting us out of
the motel. We arrived in front of his quiet house in the woods and he rushed
inside. I followed quickly, wondering what was making him so upset. She must
have mentioned something else. From what I could tell, she was just—
Oh.
Oh no.
“Chi-Chi!” Goku called. “Chi, where are you? I want to talk to you.”
No reply. Goku checked the kitchen and we went down to the basement to make
sure she wasn’t there, either. My chest felt tight as we ran upstairs to the
second floor. I could hear something creaking quietly in their bedroom. Maybe
she was sitting in the rocking chair, knitting or sewing.
When we stepped in the bedroom together, I could see a body swaying gently from
the rafters.
Goku collapsed to his knees and screamed. I covered my eyes and looked away at
the floor as nausea gurgled in my stomach. It was Chi-Chi. I could tell by the
dress hanging around her lifeless body. It took a while for the puzzle to piece
together in my head but now I understood. What she had me deliver to Goku was a
suicide letter.
The Saiyan sobbed, clutching his head with both hands and staring at his wife’s
corpse. There was no hope for us to take her down and resuscitate her. Chi-Chi
had left the world in an even more violent way than she did before. She
willingly took her own life.
And I was forcing Goku to relive his agony all over again.
I sank to the floor and hid my face as he finally gained the motivation to get
up. There was a soft thump as Chi-Chi’s body fell into Goku’s huge arms. He
broke down into tears again and set her on the bed. How was he going to explain
it to everyone? How was I going to explain it to everyone?
When I fainted, the memories from my past life slipped away.
***** 2 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
The room was dark. Lightning flashed outside, illuminating the room for moments
at a time. I covered my head and cowered in the corner as shuffling footsteps
came closer and closer to my closed bedroom door. Rain pounded on the windows
and the wind howled against the panes, trying to smash them in. I stared in
wide-eyed fear as the handle of my door turned.
It swung open, revealing a tall person standing in the shadows. My eyes slowly
moved up her dress until they found her neck, snapped at a ninety degree angle.
The rope was still tied tightly around her throat. A grim smile spread across
her face and she started toward me with both hands swaying at her sides. She
could’ve been dancing.
“You foul little girl,” she whispered. “It’s all your fault.”
Someone held me down when I woke with a scream from my nightmare. More hands
joined the first pair and they managed to keep me from flying out of bed. I
couldn’t think. I could barely even breathe. When I settled down everyone
stepped back but I could still sense them hanging close to my bed. They were
worried I’d panic again and smash a hole through the ceiling.
“Bulla,” mom said. “Sweetheart, please calm down.”
Calm down?
She wanted me to calm down.
It was my goddamn birthday and all I could remember was seeing Chi-Chi’s dead
body hanging from her ceiling. I clutched my head and squeezed my eyes shut,
trying to erase the image. She killed herself. But why did she do it? And why
was I there to see it? Did she hate me that much?
“If Kakarot’s wife hadn’t killed herself, I would gladly do the honors,” dad
growled.
“Vegeta, will you cool it?! Our daughter just had a very harrowing experience
and all you care about is finding a neck to snap—”
There was some pressure on my bed. Trunks was sitting next to me, gently
touching the top of my hand. He was wearing a Capsule Corp. jacket and tried to
smile at me. Slowly I looked around the room and noticed Pan there, along with
Shoppa and Valese. None of the other Sons were anywhere to be seen.
Pan was staring at the wall, holding her bandana taut between her hands.
Why did Chi-Chi commit suicide? What was going on?
“Sis, are you feeling okay?” Trunks asked. “I don’t mean okay as in fine, but
can you stay conscious?”
I nodded. If I worked hard at not imagining Chi-Chi swinging from the rafters,
I’d be okay.
Trunks looked into my eyes. “Can you tell me what happened? Goku is a wreck. We
can’t get a straight sentence out of him. We’re depending on you to tell us how
the two of you ended up finding her.”
“I… I went there to get the cookies,” I stammered.
“That was at seven. Goku brought you here around nine. Do you have any ideas?
We thought he was going away for the weekend. Maybe you ran into him on your
way over to the house?” My brother was throwing suggestions at me. Something
told me he didn’t want the truth.
“Yes,” I said as if it was dawning upon me. “He was walking through the woods.
I didn’t feel like flying so I was, too. We ran into each other and he offered
to use instant transmission. We got there and… she was in the bedroom. Goku
started screaming and I think I passed out.”
It was a good enough alibi for them. Trunks patted my hand and rose from the
bed. Mom leaned over to kiss my forehead and dad tucked the sheets closer to my
neck. Pan didn’t move until a visibly shaken Valese physically pushed her from
the room. Only Shoppa stayed behind.
Neither of us spoke for a few moments. She hesitated, then sat next to me on
the bed like my brother had. I immediately sat up and hugged her fiercely; we
both started crying soon after that. When she pulled away and told me to rest,
I really wanted to tell her that sleeping was the last thing I needed. She shut
the door gently behind her.
There was a big gap in my memory that was painfully blank. All I remembered was
seeing Chi-Chi. I didn’t know how I met up with Goku and I didn’t know why she
decided to kill herself. But no one would expect me to know something like
that. I grabbed my cell phone off the nightstand and checked my texts for
anything that would give me a clue. I hadn’t talked to anyone all day.
Only Goku knew what happened and he was currently having a mental breakdown.
Voices from downstairs drifted up to my bedroom. I could hear a lot of crying.
They didn’t want to involve me in their conversations. I had been on the front
lines; I had to see her lifeless body. As I sank down further into my sheets,
hoping to vanish, someone knocked meekly on the door.
“Come in,” I said.
A mess of black hair poked in first followed by Goku’s puffy black eyes. He
smiled at me but didn’t move from the doorway. I couldn’t smile back.
“Hi,” he said. “Your mom wanted me to come see how you were doing. They’re all
talking and I… don’t want to listen.”
“Ugh, don’t tell me they’re all crying. I hate crying.”
“I’m pretty sick of it, too.” He twiddled his thumbs nervously.
“I said you can come in. You don’t have to stand by the door like a sentry.”
Goku entered and sat at the foot of my bed. He looked like he was gonna start
crying again at any second. Honestly, I barely knew Chi-Chi. I had no reason to
cry. But walking in on her committing suicide was bound to haunt me for the
rest of my life.
It had been a long time since I last saw Goku, too. Actually, I hadn’t seen
anyone in the Son family besides Pan in forever. They were all having a crying
fest in my kitchen. I folded my arms over my chest and glared furiously at the
TV. What the hell was wrong with Chi-Chi? Why would she do that to her family?
Goku was an idiot but he was head over heels for her. She had two sons, a
granddaughter…
“Your mother told me you don’t really remember what happened,” Goku said.
“Not really, but I bet you can clear it up for me. All I know is we both found
Chi-Chi.”
“Well you were right. I ran into you in the woods and brought you there. You
were passed out for a long time because I was too busy panicking. I guess you
knew subconsciously.”
“So your wife just decided to kill herself for no reason?” I pressed. “That
doesn’t seem like her.”
Goku was growing more and more uncomfortable. He shifted. “Look, I don’t really
want to talk about it. Maybe I can in a couple of months.”
I narrowed my eyes suspiciously and leaned back to turn on the TV. It was
weird, but I felt déjà vu as the cartoon flickered across the screen. Had I
done it before? Goku left his spot on the bed to crawl beside me and I thought
nothing of it. It was Goku. Any one of the Son boys wasn’t creepy in the least,
especially their father. Besides, we had both seen the same horrifying thing.
There was a sense of kinship between us now. I wondered if it would ever go
away.
“You know, I made a bad mistake a long time ago,” Goku said suddenly. “I… I
think Chi-Chi was obsessing over it ever since then. I think that’s what drove
her to suicide.”
“Okay,” I said, barely listening.
“But it’s done and over with. I’m much better at controlling myself and I
promised her it would never happen again. I really loved her, you know.”
“Sure.”
“I loved her more than anything.”
“I bet she loved you, too.”
Goku’s hands clenched into fists. “Then why would she do this to me? Why would
she leave me even after I apologized again and again and tried to make it
right? It’s not like she walked out the door. She took her own life just to get
away from me. Shenron can’t call her soul back.”
The déjà vu was back with a vengeance. I ignored it. Goku was upset and he had
good reason to be. Chi-Chi had been violently taken from him. Unfortunately, I
had no answers for him. I shrugged in response to his rhetorical questions and
prayed we could change the subject. Death wasn’t supposed to exist to any of
the people I knew.
“I don’t know why you’re talking to me,” I said. “Ask my father or something.
He knows all kinds of crap about depressing things like dying.”
“You’re right. Sometimes I forget how young you are.”
Was I being mean? The guy’s wife killed herself. I could suck it up and act
nice for an hour or two. It wasn’t like anyone else could really bounce
thoughts back to him, anyway. I sighed and turned off the TV to face Goku,
patting him on the arm. He bit his lower lip.
“You can talk, but I can’t promise I’ll get it,” I said.
Goku smiled and wiped his eyes. “Y’know, I think you’re nice, Bulla.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m a bucket of sunshine. Talk until all the sad stuff downstairs
is done.”
And he did just that. It wasn’t that hard to sit there and act interested. I
leaned against my pillow and was continually surprised by the emotion Goku
showed. Our families had grown apart over the years and I didn’t know him that
well. All dad told me was that he was ridiculously overpowered and stupid. But
he seemed like a regular guy to me. He was pleasant.
My eyelids began to droop as the night wore on. Everyone was still downstairs.
Goku and I were alone in our own separate realm of pain. We had seen the worst
of it and couldn’t bring ourselves to speak with our loved ones about it. But
if I had anyone on my side, I definitely wanted it to be the strongest being in
the entire universe. I yawned profusely and Goku grinned, pausing mid-sentence.
“Sleepy?” he asked.
“Nope. Carry on.”
“You can go to sleep, Bulla. I’m not gonna keep you up all night. Besides, both
of us need to get some rest or we’ll go crazy.”
Now he was really smiling. I raised an eyebrow and crept under my sheets. What
was he so happy about? He should’ve been crying at least a little more than he
was. For God’s sake, we both saw his wife hanging from his bedroom ceiling.
Maybe he didn’t see the point in dwelling on it. Mom said Goku didn’t even cry
when Gohan died fighting Majin Buu.
When I was nestled in bed, he finally rose and made his way back out of my
bedroom. At the door, he turned briefly to gaze at me.
“I will always protect you.”
Then he was gone.
***** 3 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
The few days before the funeral were agonizingly long. I hung around in my
bedroom eating dry cereal by the fistful while mom cried on the phone with
Videl, who was afraid to leave Gohan by himself. Apparently Pan wasn’t doing so
hot, either—she refused to leave her room and hadn’t eaten anything since the
night of my birthday. They were falling apart at the seams.
Dad spent most of his time training in the gravity chamber like he always did
when he was upset. He acted like he was mad at Chi-Chi but I knew it hit him
where it hurt. She was still a big part of our ‘group’ and losing her meant
Goku would never quite be the same again. Whether or not dad wanted to admit
it, he had a unique friendship with Goku and felt at least a bit sorry for him.
It was impossible to sleep. I kept seeing Chi-Chi in my head and I’d wake up in
a cold sweat if I tried closing my eyes. Mom offered to bring me to therapy so
I could come to terms with what I had seen but I really didn’t want word
getting out that I was seeing a shrink. Dad insisted it would pass.
In spite of the horrible thing I had seen, I still didn’t cry. It wasn’t in my
nature. I’d prefer to keep it all inside and have everything go back to normal
instead of blubbering in front of everyone. I ignored the calls and texts from
my friends and waited impatiently for the whole ordeal to be overwith. When
Chi-Chi was buried in the ground I could finally be at peace.
The night before the funeral, the Son family came over to visit.
They all looked like hell. Valese had her arm around Goten and almost seemed to
be supporting him as they walked in the front door. She nodded at me as she led
her future fiancé to the living room so he could sit down. If it were possible,
Gohan looked even worse than his brother. He left his glasses at home and
stumbled when he came inside, staring blankly at the wall as Videl rubbed his
back.
It was one of the first times where the women were stronger. Pan had lost her
shell-shocked expression and helped her mother lead Gohan out the living room
as well, where both of them rested their heads on either of his arms. He closed
his eyes and hung his head. Goten buried his face in Valese’s neck.
Death wasn’t something new to any of us, but suicide was an entirely different
matter. Chi-Chi had made the conscious decision to end her own life and no one
knew exactly why. She was gone forever: the Dragon Balls couldn’t revive an
unwilling soul, Goku couldn’t visit her spirit floating aimlessly in
Otherworld, and Porunga would likewise be unable to help us.
There was a pervasive feeling of helplessness and betrayal that made it hard
not to cry. But I still couldn’t bear seeing their puffy, red eyes and swollen
cheeks. We were supposed to be happy.
Mom passed around tea to everyone. I glanced over my shoulder, expecting Goku
to come shuffling through the front door next. He should have been the most
depressed out of all of them. If he was too busy screwing around with
pterodactyls…
“Bulla,” Videl said, wiping her eyes, “Goku is going to take you and Pan to our
house for the night. We know this is hard and we don’t want any of you to keep
seeing us like this.”
“This is definitely not Goku’s field of expertise,” mom said.
“He’s too optimistic,” dad said. He was standing in a corner with his arms
crossed.
I was more than happy to leave. “Fine with me.”
“Dad, I don’t want to go,” Pan said. “What if something happens while I’m gone?
I don’t want to lose you and mom, too.”
Gohan suddenly turned to fiercely hug his daughter, making her burst into tears
and hide her face in his chest. Videl covered her eyes and I took an
involuntary step back. If Pan was gonna cry all night then I didn’t want her to
come along, anyway. But Gohan let her go and wiped the tears from her eyes with
his thumb, smiling ever so slightly. Pan’s lower lip trembled.
“Go,” he said. “I will never leave you, Pan.”
We took our leave, heading out into the cool autumn night. Pan was sniffling so
I awkwardly patted her shoulder to comfort her, which immediately turned into a
full-body hug. Goku appeared in front of us a few moments later and relieved me
of my duty, scooping up his granddaughter like she weighed nothing. He
supported her with one arm and teleported us away with the other.
Gohan and Videl had a house that rivaled my own. It was spacious and well-
decorated, mostly because Videl spent her days at home keeping the place in
tip-top shape. Goku carried Pan upstairs and all I could hear was her sobbing
until he shut her bedroom door. I rubbed my arms awkwardly and sat in their
living room to watch TV. Pan needed someone to talk to and I didn’t want to
interrupt.
An hour or so passed. The stairs creaked and Goku was sitting beside me,
resting his feet on the coffee table with his big arms around the back of the
couch. I smiled slightly at him and he smiled back. He was kind of teary eyed
but it didn’t look like he was going to cry again. At least someone had a grip.
“Pan doesn’t understand. I think she’s sheltered too much.” Goku watched the
flickering television that illuminated his eyes in the darkness. “Gohan’s a
worrier just like his mother was and he’s going to protect her too much.”
I shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t get it, either. Chi-Chi was her grandmother so
you can’t expect her to be fine with it. You can’t expect any of them to be
fine with it. Then again, she was your wife and I haven’t seen you shed a tear
since right before our chat a few days ago.”
“I’ve spent a lot of time crying, believe it or not. I’m hoping there won’t be
a lot of tears from now on, as long as I’m careful and don’t rush things too
much. I have to have some self-control.”
“Whatever you say. You might want to turn on the waterworks when your family is
around or they’re gonna think you’re a raging psychopath. I mean, I know you
aren’t but they’re all emotional right now so they won’t be able to see as
clearly.”
“I know how they are,” Goku said. His eyes were riveted on the TV now and he
was smiling. “Some people are harder to understand, y’know? You have to work
with them for a long time to open up the lines of communication. If you aren’t
careful, they panic and shut you out.”
I rolled my eyes. “You mean my dad, right? Tell me about it. It’s like he’s
from a different planet. Well… technically he is but still. I’ve been working
on that puzzle for sixteen years and none of the pieces want to fit together.”
“Yeah… Vegeta. That’s who I meant.”
“And you know, he’s such an aloof jerk all the time that I don’t even know how
to talk to him. He’s always training or standing in a corner and if I open my
mouth he wants to stuff money in it to get me to shut up. I only go shopping
because they don’t give me any other choice. I’d rather spend the day with him
like how you spend so much time with Pan.”
Goku’s wide, innocent eyes turned to mine and I quickly covered my mouth with
both hands. What was I doing?! Was I complaining about my feelings to him? That
was dumb of me. He didn’t care about a teenage girl’s daddy problems,
especially when she was related to his rival.
“Aw, you can talk to me,” he said. “I like listening and I know Vegeta even
better than your mother does. Besides, you listened to me for a long time last
night. I want to return the favor.”
“No, it’s okay. I don’t want to intrude.”
“Do you want some tea? It might help you relax.” Goku sat up and looked around
with his hand shading his eyes. “Videl makes her own and sent Chi and I a few
gallons of it every week. I usually just drank it for dinner, though. Come on,
we can go in the kitchen and have homemade tea and talk.”
It was tempting. Goku knew how dad was after beating the hell out of him a few
times and Shoppa wasn’t good at dealing with emotional things. I shrugged and
rose from the couch to follow Goku into the kitchen, where he rummaged through
a few cabinets before finding the tea. The linoleum was cool on my feet and the
rest of me shivered. Before I could blink, a warm blanket was wrapped around
me.
I laughed and Goku’s eyes brightened. “You’d make a good bodyguard.”
“I’m hoping so. Do you want anything to eat?”
“Tea is fine.” I hopped in one of the tall chairs and pulled the blanket
tighter around myself. “Are you staying here for the night or going home?”
“I’m gonna knock that house down and build a new one. I’ll never be able to
sleep in it again so there’s no point in keeping it around. But I’ll probably
stay here for the next few weeks until everything’s said and done. Pan said
she’ll help me decorate and paint.”
“That sounds fun. You should ask Trunks to help you design it. He’s good at
that stuff.”
The tea was hissing for attention a few minutes later and I felt better having
something warm in my stomach. Goku sat across from me and folded his hands on
the table, waiting politely for me to pick up where I left off whining about my
father. He was so nice, like a father I never really had. Dad was there but at
the same time, he wasn’t.
I went on and on for a long time, just like Goku had when we talked before.
After a while my back started hurting from sitting in the chair and we went
back out to the living room. I cried a bit but I swallowed most of my tears
before they could embarrass me.
“Uh oh,” Goku said when I yawned, “you look sleepy again. Am I that boring?”
“No, but listening to myself whining for so long makes me pretty tired.”
“Being a teenager isn’t easy. I’m really glad you could talk to me, Bulla. It
means a lot.”
The image of him leaving my room saying, “I will always protect you” suddenly
sprang into my mind. I didn’t want to mention it. I was so exhausted at that
point that I doubted it even happened. Maybe it just came across as a quick
snippet of a dream I had before I fell asleep.
Goku really was selfless. I hoped I could be like him one day.
“Can I tell you a secret?” I asked.
The Saiyan leaned closer, eyes glittering. “Of course you can.”
“I’m… I’m not really that upset about Chi-Chi. She was great but I didn’t know
her so it’s weird being around everyone crying. Does that make me a bad
person?”
“No and you shouldn’t think that way. It’s harder for us because we knew her so
well. You’re just surprised when death happens so suddenly. But no, I don’t
think you’re a bad person.”
“I guess you’re right. Would you mind bringing me home?”
“No problem. Just grab my arm and I’ll have you in your bedroom in a flash.”
He was as quick as he promised. I was happy to be back home and shuffled over
to my dresser to pick out pjs while Goku waited patiently on my bed. After I
changed in my closet he pulled back the sheets and tucked them around my chin,
making my bed into more of a cocoon than anything else. One of his big hands
rested on my shoulder as he smiled down at me.
“I’m always here if you need me, Bulla,” he said.
“Thank you.”
“No, thank you.”
Instead of teleporting out, he quietly left the room to go downstairs with the
other adults. He shut my door gently and I was alone in my room. The necklace
was still around my neck. It felt heavy.
***** 4 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
We were all sitting quietly in the funeral parlor while Gohan choked on his
speech.
Mom was leaning on dad, sobbing softly on his black suit he hated wearing.
Trunks was sitting on the other side of dad with a stern look on his face, the
same one every male in the room wore. All the women were weak now. I hid my
face and tried my best to look sad.
There was no open casket so I wasn’t forced to see Chi-Chi’s dead body again.
That was a relief. I waited uncomfortably for everyone to cry until they
couldn’t squeeze out another tear. Gohan got a hold on himself and managed to
whisper about how Chi-Chi was a great mother and wife. When I glanced up, Goku
was holding his head in his hands and staring at the floor.
The whole place smelled like formaldehyde and potpourri. When we finally went
outside I was happy to get some fresh air. Dad stood beside mom solemnly as she
hugged Videl. Trunks kept his hands jammed in his pockets and stood stone
still. He was a lot like his father in some pretty bad ways.
Soon we made our way over to Goku. I conjured up a sincere smile and he smiled
back before my mother strangled him in a ferocious embrace. Dad nodded his head
tersely and shook hands with the other two Son boys. Trunks clapped Goten on
the shoulder and murmured something to him.
“Don’t hesitate to come by if you need anything,” mom said. “That stands for
all of you. Vegeta can help you rebuild the house, Goku, and I’m sure Trunks
and Bulla can help out. We’re going to keep her home from school for a few
weeks so she can see someone to talk about what she saw.”
I scowled and turned my eyes to the ground. Why did she have to mention that in
front of everyone? I didn’t need to see a shrink. I was over it and mom was
making it worse trying to force me to go. That was the same kind of annoying
stuff I was complaining to Goku about. She was always pushing me to do things I
wasn’t interested in.
“Why doesn’t she go with Goku?” Videl suggested. “We’ve been telling him to go
and it would make sense that they go together since they saw the same thing.”
“What a great idea!” mom said, beaming happily through her blotchy red face.
“I don’t need to go,” I said.
“Oh, come on. You get some time off school to relax and collect your thoughts
and you get to go with Goku, who’s much easier to talk to than any of us stuffy
adults.” Mom squeezed me from the side and kissed my forehead. “I’m going home
to make an appointment right now. Why don’t you go over to Goku’s house with
Pan and help him clean up?”
That was the last thing I wanted to do but the queen had spoken. They all left
again, save for Pan and Goku. I felt even worse. Mom was just trying to get rid
of me. She didn’t know how to talk to me about what I saw so she wanted someone
else to deal with it. I folded my arms and Goku cocked his head as his
granddaughter touched his shoulder to be carried along during instant
transmission.
“Are you coming?” he asked.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“None of your business.”
Goku grinned. “Come on. You don’t have to do anything. Your mother isn’t gonna
be happy if she finds out you were being difficult.”
“She’s passing me off on you,” I said. “Doesn’t that bother you? They’re making
you a babysitter. Gohan and Videl are doing the same thing with Pan because
they don’t want to deal with it.”
“No, I like watching you guys.” Goku scratched his head and looked down at Pan,
whose eyebrows were furrowed together as she fit the puzzle together. “Gohan
doesn’t want Pan to see him upset and your mother doesn’t know what to do,
Bulla. Let’s give them some time to figure it out.”
It did nothing to convince me, but I still touched Goku’s arm so we could get
out of the cold.
The Son house was warm and quiet—Goku must have visited to do his own cleaning
before the funeral. Pan drifted away to the basement and when the door shut, I
found myself alone with Goku again. It didn’t bother me or anything but it was
happening an awful lot lately. Hanging around him was better than being around
my parents. They were so irritating.
We cleaned out the kitchen for a long time. I sorted pots and pans into
cardboard boxes so they could be moved out when Goku and dad tore the house
down. He didn’t want very much; just the essentials. We disconnected his
appliances and set them in the living room to be taken out with everything
else. I was fine with helping as long as I didn’t have to go to the bedroom
again.
Goku left to check on Pan when the sun was starting to set and I sat on his
couch to take a much deserved break. The more time I spent with him, the better
I understood why everyone couldn’t help but like him. He was incredibly
charismatic and knew when to mind his own business. His simplicity made him
less of a worrier than most parents.
It was nice not being harassed. He was a good friend.
The couch suddenly shifted and Goku was sitting beside me. Our legs touched for
a moment and I quickly put a few inches of space between us. His skin was so
hot I could feel it through his jeans. He smelled like the aftershave dad used.
Awkward.
“Sorry,” he said, smiling a bit. “Pan’s asleep.”
“What a slacker. Your granddaughter doesn’t have the same motivation you do.”
“So Pan is lazy now?”
“Well she didn’t help us clean and I never saw her last night. She’s been
awfully quiet lately. I mean, I understand why but… it’s still weird.”
“Pan has a lot of things to think about right now.” Goku rubbed his forehead,
looking strangely intense. “We all do. Anyway, how about we go for a walk? I
have something for you but I can’t show it off in the house. I don’t want to
make anyone jealous.”
What? A present for me? The thought of a gift blinded me completely. I grabbed
Goku’s arm without thinking and pouted my lower lip. We’d been dragging heavy
things around all day and I wanted to sit inside and relax instead of wandering
around Mt. Paozu. The sad puppy face usually got me what I wanted when daddy
tried to keep things from me.
The light stopped reflecting off Goku’s eyes. They looked bottomless.
“Please?” I whined. “I don’t wanna walk.”
“It’s either that or early bedtime. Your choice.”
It wasn’t a threat. He was joking; teasing me with something my parents
tortured me with at home. They were always treating me like a kid while Goku
saw me for what I was: a young adult.
“Do you have it on you?” I asked.
“Sure do. It’s small, though. In a little black box.”
“Can I eat it?”
“I guess but I don’t think it’d taste too good.”
I crossed my arms. “You’re not making this any easier.”
Goku gestured at the door and I gave in to his ransom. None of my clothes were
available so I piled on a few of his training shirts to keep myself warm
outside. He wore a flimsy jacket and laughed at how ridiculous I looked. We
went out into the darkening world and were soon enveloped in the trees as we
headed up the steep slopes of Mt. Paozu.
Once again I was complaining. Mom and dad don’t care; they’re trying to get rid
of me; they think I’m a spoiled brat; they won’t let me be a teenager. Goku was
quiet. He knew how to play the game with girls, especially hormonal teenagers.
The longer we walked, the happier I was.
We stopped in a meadow that felt oddly familiar. The moon shone brightly
overhead and I sat across from Goku on the cold earth, flinching from the
temperature. Damn, it was freezing for only being the beginning of fall. He
finally reached into his coat pocket and withdrew a small black box as
promised, which he held away from me when I reached out for it.
“Uh uh, first I need you to promise me something,” Goku said.
I agreed. It was worth it for whatever was in the damn box.
The Saiyan leaned forward and placed the box on the ground between us. “Don’t
tell anyone about the presents I give you, okay? I don’t want them to be
jealous. If you can keep my secrets, I’ll make sure no one ever hears yours.”
There was a threat layered in his words. I nodded and scooped up the box to
flip it open. There was a shiny silver bracelet made of interlocking hearts
lying inside. It was on my wrist in an instant and I became so overcome with
joy that I reached forward to hug Goku tightly around the neck. His hands
lifted up slightly like he was going to return the affection but he quickly
dropped them and dug his fingers into the hard ground.
“Thank you so much!” I squealed. “How did you know I love hearts?”
Goku picked up the empty box and closed it. His eyes looked vacant again. His
smile was wide. “Just intuition, I guess.”
***** 5 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
When we went back home, Pan was sitting in the living room surrounded by stacks
of boxes. It looked like she was electrocuted when she saw Goku and she hurried
off to the basement. She was taking Chi-Chi’s death even harder than her
father. Goku shut the door behind us and sighed.
“Guess I should talk to her,” he said.
Away he went. I lingered in the living room for a few minutes before deciding
to head upstairs to Gohan’s old bedroom, which would be a much better place to
sleep than Goku’s. It was totally empty save for a small bed near the window
that looked out on the forest of Mt. Paozu. Living in the middle of nowhere had
a few perks and the scenery had to be my favorite.
Pan started yelling something at her grandfather but it was abruptly cut off.
It wasn’t my business to get involved in their family problems, anyway. I
searched the room for some bedsheets and came up empty-handed, which meant I’d
have to use a bunch of Goku’s training shirts as I could to keep warm. The heat
and energy had been disconnected for the impending destruction tomorrow.
As I gazed out the window into the woods, I suddenly sensed someone watching
me. I turned my head so fast my neck cracked. Goku was standing in the doorway,
leaning against in casually with his hands in his pockets. He smiled at me
through the darkness and nodded his head toward the window. His eyebrows were
drawn together a bit as if he was hiding anger.
“Isn’t it pretty?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I prefer city lights but sure. How’s Pan doing? I thought I heard
her yelling earlier. Does she want to come upstairs and talk to me? It might be
a girl thing.”
Goku moved away from the doorframe, still keeping his hands burrowed in his
pockets. To my surprise, he shut the bedroom door before walking over to sit
beside me. Wasn’t he sleeping on the couch? I kind of wanted to have my own bed
for the night.
Our thighs touched again but I didn’t move this time. It wasn’t a big deal. He
was my friend and accidentally touching wasn’t the end of the world. I smiled
up at him and watched the clouds slowly move across the blackened sky outside.
Finally, someone wasn’t pestering me.
“So all of this must be interfering with your friends,” he said, opening up yet
another can of worms.
“Yeah, I guess. I’d rather be out… uh… socializing on a Friday night.”
Goku smirked and leaned closer so our arms were touching. “Aw, come on, Bulla.
I was a teenager, too. I know what all of you like to do when you… socialize.”
He was really close. He smelled like damp earth. “You can tell me if you ever
need anything. I’ll pick you up, drop you off, or give you stuff.”
“You’ll… what?” I echoed. I was staring at him in disbelief, wondering if he
understood what I really meant by socializing. “You do know what I’m talking
about, right?”
“Shh,” he murmured, placing a finger to his lips. “We don’t want to disturb
Pan. Remember what I told you about her being jealous?”
My heart was pounding with excitement. Since when was Goku so cool? He listened
to me, gave me jewelry, and best of all he would hook me up with alcohol for
parties! Our faces were close but I looked past the intent practically shining
in his eyes. Why weren’t my parents that great?!
I licked my lips. “This isn’t a trick, right? You’re not gonna rat me out to my
parents?”
“Bulla, you can trust me with anything.” He glanced over his shoulder before
looking back at me with a smug smile. “You know, I have some things in the
fridge. They’re probably warm by now but if you were interested, we could have
fun instead of going to sleep.”
“Just us? Are you sure? Isn’t that kinda weird?”
“We could just go to bed,” he said, putting his arms behind his head.
My phone started vibrating and I was forced to leave our conversation. It was
mom sending me a text, asking how it was going with Goku. I told her I was
getting tired and wanted to know what I was doing for bed. She answered me in a
few seconds: Stay there. It’s good for you.
Yeah, staying with Goku certainly seemed good for me at the time.
I smiled to show him I had made my decision and he was gone in an instant,
rummaging through boxes downstairs. Hopefully he was serious about not telling
my parents because my father would go ballistic if he found out. I was
empowered by my rebellion. I wanted to make my parents angry.
Goku came back soon with a bottle of something clear in his hand. He offered me
a glass and twisted open the cap, pouring said liquid in my cup. I lifted it to
my nose and sniffed, reeling back when I realized it was hard liquor. My
friends and I normally drank wine coolers or beers. Goku snickered and chugged
half the bottle without batting an eye.
“That’s not fair,” I said. “You’re a full-blooded Saiyan. I bet it doesn’t work
as well on you.”
“You can do it. Just close your eyes and drink. Even if you puke, we’re tearing
the place down tomorrow so it doesn’t matter.” He gave me a serious look. “I
thought you did this often. If I’m dealing with a little girl, maybe I should
put it away.”
He was baiting me and I stupidly snapped on the writhing worm. I squeezed my
eyes shut and managed to get about half the cup down my throat before I had to
stop and cough. It burned terribly. My stomach immediately began to protest but
I wanted to hurry up and finish it. I swallowed the rest and threw the glass on
the floor where it shattered into tiny pieces.
The alcohol hit me like a train a few minutes later and I was reduced to a
giggling mess.
Everything was spinning. I wasn’t tipsy like normal. No, this time I was
seriously wasted. I held my hands in front of my face and squinted desperately
at them, trying to make sense of what I was seeing. My head felt light and
heavy at the same time and my bracelet jangled quietly when I kept waving my
fingers in front of me. Goku put the bottle down and kept me on the bed as I
tried to get up. I wanted to run around the house and break things.
I pouted at him, offering my best watery eyes. “Goooooku, lemme go. I wanna go
for a walk!”
“Be a good girl,” he murmured, brushing my hair out of my eyes. “Do you feel
better now? I bet being drunk takes a lot of stress off your shoulders.”
“It sure does! I’m gonna… I’m hungry. Can we have some food or somethin’?”
“Under one condition only.”
“Anything! I’m so hungry I might die.”
“Beg me,” he said. His eyes were wide and looked as hungry as mine for a
totally different reason. One of his hands crept over the top of mine. “But you
have to be convincing or you’re gonna go to bed with an empty belly.”
My drunken mind didn’t see a problem with it. I giggled again, thinking he was
just playing a game, and clasped my hands together teasingly. We were really
close but I couldn’t smell any alcohol on his breath. “Please, Goku? I’m so
hungry.”
“I don’t know, I think I need more convincing.” He leaned back on his palms,
watching me with growing interest. Again I noticed that the moonlight wasn’t
reflecting off his pupils.
The alcohol put things together that weren’t there. My hands were suddenly
tugging impatiently on my layers of shirts and I tore them off until I was only
wearing a camisole. It was something I thought I inherited from mom: show men
your boobs and they’ll give you anything. I leaned forward to show off my
assets and Goku looked like he was going to explode.
It was liberating being able to take off my clothes like that for a man. Goku
was just a family friend. I wasn’t really doing it for his benefit.
Black eyes roamed down my body. He wanted to see more and there was a perfectly
willing drunk girl on all fours beside him. “Isn’t this fun? I’m much better
than your parents. I’ll let you do whatever you want, Bulla, and I’ll only ask
you to do little things for me.”
“Okay,” I yawned. “Can we eat food now?”
“I’ll bring you some bread and water. We don’t want you getting sick so early
on. Why don’t you lie down and relax? There’s no sheets so I figured we could
sleep together and keep one another warm.” He gathered up the discarded shirts
and dropped them on the floor.
“Okay! I wanna come get food!” I hopped up off the bed and was immediately
stricken with nausea followed by more intense drunkenness. I was such a
lightweight.
Goku caught me before I fell. His big hands lingered on my waist and he didn’t
seem to want to let go. “Okay, okay, you can come with me. Just don’t fall down
the stairs or anything.”
We made our way down and I rushed out to search for bread in the pantry. As
soon as I found it half of the loaves were stuffed down my gullet before Goku
could take it out of my hands. I chewed with delirious joy and he shook his
head, hiding a satisfied smirk with the parental disapproval. I didn’t see Chi-
Chi hanging from the ceiling when I blinked.
I perched on the counter and swung my legs carelessly back and forth as the
food filled up my already upset stomach. Goku hovered back for a moment to
gauge me before he moved forward, strangely calculating and silent. I grinned,
showing off a mouthful of spongy bread. The kitchen was cold.
That made him come towards me, slowly like I might try to flee. He was so huge.
His big body eclipsed the entrance to the kitchen. The floor creaked as he
walked closer and finally wound up standing between my legs. He braced his
hands on either side of my hips and smiled disarmingly, but I was far from
nervous. I flicked the tip of his nose with my fingertip and giggled to myself.
“Boys usually take advantage of drunken girls,” Goku said in a sickly sweet
voice. He brushed my hair away from my face again, pausing to touch my cheek.
“But I would never do that to you. I want you to feel comfortable with me and
do things on your own. What do you want, Bulla?”
It was the logical next step. I swiftly leaned in and kissed him on the
forehead, drawing back like I’d pressed my lips to molten metal right after and
covering my mouth. Goku didn’t look surprised but I could tell he got what he
wanted out of me. It was getting hot. He was hot like a wild flame.
“Whoopsies,” I said.
“It’s not bad. You shouldn’t be sorry.” Goku wrapped an arm around my waist and
scooped me off the counter with one arm under my behind to keep me from
falling. “It’s bed time for you. There’s been enough excitement for us
tonight.”
“Whatever you say, sir.”
Upstairs, Goku set me gently on the bed and peeled off his shirt and pants in
front of me. He should’ve known by then that it offended people. Fortunately
for him, I was too wasted to care. I had snuggled up in a ball when I felt
fingers around the hem of my pants and looked to see Goku trying to pull them
off.
His innocent eyes burned holes in me. “I can keep you warmer this way.”
It was a premeditated. He’d gone over his plan time and time again. The sense
of déjà vu and mild fear came back just to be squashed by the alcohol. I
shrugged and he knelt in front of me on the bed to carefully help me wriggle
out of my black pants. His fingertips touched my skin and at one point he
deliberately grabbed my thigh. His hand almost wound around it completely.
“You’re a skinny little thing, aren’t you?” Goku whispered, leaning over me.
“Sure am! Goodnight.”
Goku watched me for a few seconds before he gave in and laid down beside me. He
was warm, so I turned over and curled up close to his chest, pressing my cold
fingers to his skin to keep them from freezing off. He shivered but it wasn’t
from the temperature. I was accustomed to being around huge muscles from the
days when daddy held me at night.
The Saiyan’s arms curled around me and I felt safe. He kissed the crown of my
head in what I thought was a friendly gesture. “Goodnight, Bulla.”
There was a nagging suspicion in my mind that wouldn’t surface until it was too
late.
***** 6 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
A pounding headache was my wakeup call the next day. I groaned as I woke to a
serious intense hangover and shielded my eyes from the intrusive sunlight
outside. As usual, I drank way too much. Goosebumps rose along my legs as the
temperature of the room caught up with my half-awake body and I shuddered to
warm myself up. My stomach was killing me.
I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes blearily, trying to remember what I had done
the night before. Goku gave me some alcohol and… wait. It dawned upon me that I
was only wearing my camisole and underwear, leaving the rest of me totally
exposed. I yelped and snatched one of Goku’s shirts off the floor to cover
myself as footsteps came down the hall. When did I start stripping?!
Goku stepped in the room with just a towel around his waist that didn’t leave
much to the imagination. He shook some water out of his hair and smiled at me,
much to my horror. What had I done? Did I… no. I wasn’t that stupid when I was
drunk. Right?
“Good morning,” he said, admiring my dumbfounded expression. “How’d you sleep?”
I gawked at him. “We didn’t… do anything, did we?”
“Of course not. I would never take advantage of you, Bulla. But when we were
downstairs getting food you did give me a kiss on my forehead. It was nice.”
“I’m so sorry!” I gasped. “Oh my god I am so embarrassed right now.”
“Don’t worry about it, Bulla.” Goku leaned on the doorframe and folded his arms
over his bare chest. “It’ll be our little secret, okay? If you won’t tell
anyone, I won’t either.”
“No, no, no, that was so wrong of me. Maybe I should go home and try to sleep
this off before I do anything else stupid. God, you’re like… way older than me
and my father can’t stand you and I can already hear mom screeching at me over
it.” Distraught, I stepped off the bed, still clinging the shirt to my chest so
it hid my most private parts. “I even took off my clothes!”
Suddenly, Goku looked very serious. He moved so he was blocking the door and
his smiled broke a bit. “You should stay. No one will be mad because neither of
us will tell them about it. You can trust me with anything. I’ve already seen
girls without their clothes on.”
The prickling suspicion came back. I could still taste the alcohol on my tongue
and when I swallowed, my mouth felt oddly dry. Goku walked toward me and I had
an urge to take a step back but I managed to keep myself rooted to the spot. He
took the shirt from my hands, told me to lift my arms, and pulled it over my
head. It came to rest around my knees. He tied the sash around my waist
tightly.
“My mom is probably worried,” I said. “I should go.”
“She called a little while ago to let us know that I’m bringing you to the city
to see the psy… the psy… the head doctor. Vegeta and the others are gonna tear
down the house while we’re gone and we’ll rebuild it later on today.” He picked
lint off my shoulder.
I looked down at my feet, becoming flustered by how close we were. “I don’t
want to go to the stupid therapist. I just want to go home and sleep instead of
dealing with this.”
“Bulla, Bulla, Bulla,” Goku said, tipping my chin up with his index finger so
our eyes met, “do you really think I’d make you go to that if you don’t want
to? We can send someone else in your place. I know a great place you can sleep
off your hangover.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to get in more trouble or for my parents to think
I’m acting weird. If they found out they’d wonder why I’m sneaking around with…
you.”
“We aren’t sneaking. We’re giving you a bit of freedom.” He drew his finger
away from my chin to tap me on the nose. “And if both of us stay quiet, no one
will ever know. I’ll let you do whatever you want as long as you promise never
to tell anyone. Can I trust you or should I tell your parents about last
night?”
This was not the Goku I remembered from my childhood. There was something
burning in his eyes and I didn’t like seeing it. I swallowed hard and nodded
anyway, willing to take the risks to reap the benefits. He would let me drink,
stay up late, and play hooky? That was cool with me.
Goku reached forward to grasp the back of my neck and pressed my forehead to
his lips. It was moist. When he pulled away my mild discomfort was becoming
unbearable. What was he doing? What did he want out of me? Were we friends or
was he trying to suggest he wanted something more?
No, that was crazy. He was old and his wife just died. I was still in high
school going crazy over boys who could care less about me. I’d rather go
shopping than stay home and raise kids. He held the back of my head for a few
extra seconds and started laughing as a blush crept into my face. I was
humiliated.
“Am I making you nervous?” he asked.
“No.”
“Aw, you’re turning pink!” Goku bent down so we were eye-level with both hands
on his knees.
“No I’m not.”
“You’re so cute, like a blue-haired version of Pan.”
My fear melted away. Okay, good, he wasn’t looking at me like that. I punched
him in the arm and he backed away, still grinning hugely. Who was I kidding,
anyway? Goku saw everyone as a potential friend, regardless of age or gender. I
needed to stop worrying so much. He left the room to get dressed in normal
street clothes.
We went downstairs, where Pan was sitting on the couch gazing into space. Just
as I started to say something to her someone knocked on the door and
interrupted me. I sat beside her and gently put my hand on her knee, making her
jump again like she was zapped by a livewire. Her big black eyes looked around
wildly until they settled on me for a few seconds.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Gohan came in the door right after and she leapt off the couch into his waiting
arms. He kissed the side of her head and Videl was there, too, smiling happily
now that her family was reunited. My father and brother came inside next and
dad’s expression hardened over when he saw me sitting on the couch. Oh, right.
I was only wearing Goku’s training shirt.
“What is the meaning of this, Kakarot?” dad snapped, pointing at me.
“I bet she was sick of wearing black,” Videl said. God bless her for coming to
my rescue.
I nodded, scowling at dad. “You threw me out of the house so fast that I didn’t
even have time to put clothes on. Luckily, Goku has a lot of extras so I wasn’t
stuck wearing my funeral clothes to bed.”
Trunks didn’t look too pleased, either. I didn’t care. Goku let me have fun and
listened to me complain for a good two hours. There was no way I’d throw him
under the bus. Dad gave it up without another word and muttered something about
me covering up.
We moved the necessities out of the house and Goku told dad and Trunks to just
blow the whole thing up. It wouldn’t take him long to build a new one. Gohan
and Videl left with Pan so she could spend some time with them and I began to
wonder what she meant by “I’m sorry.” Maybe she was apologizing for me
witnessing her grandmother hanging herself. It really shook her up.
Goku came outside around three to bring me home so I could put some real
clothes on. He put a hand on my shoulder and before we disappeared, I saw dad’s
upper lip curl in a snarl. He acted like it was a big deal when any guy touched
me. Goku was harmless. Dad was a jerk.
No one was home when we arrived at Capsule Corp. I let us inside and hurried up
to my bedroom to change, expecting Goku to wait for me in the living room. But
he followed me up the stair case and into my room without a moment’s
hesitation. He shut my door and leaned against it. Damn, he was huge.
“I don’t want to leave you alone,” he said. “You still seem a bit drunk to me.
Go ahead; I’ve seen it all before when I gave Pan baths.” He leaned harder
against the door and it clicked shut. “Besides, I was married for thirty
years.”
It still felt strange. I fingered the hem of his shirt, trying to summon the
nerve to question him. Normally I was very forthright with people and had no
problem speaking my mind, including with Goku. But our relationship had a new
facet and that made things a bit more complicated. I was nervous around him. I
was kind of afraid to make him angry.
“Are you… sure? I don’t want to be weird.”
“Go right ahead. I’ll make sure no one comes in.” Goku put his hands in his
pockets.
Defeated, I rummaged through my drawer for clothes. I picked out the plainest
underwear I could find and changed out of mine while I was still hidden beneath
Goku’s shirt. His eyes roamed my room; I didn’t even think he was looking at
me. I yanked off the training shirt and quickly pulled on a t-shirt with jeans
so I was ready in the blink of an eye.
Goku watched me spray on perfume. “Why do you use that stuff? It smells bad.”
“No it doesn’t. It makes me smell like a girl.”
“I like how the normal Bulla smells,” he said with a frown.
“I don’t. You ready to go? Speaking of which, where exactly are we going?”
“Well I wanted to take you out shopping for the afternoon but if you’re tired
and want to sleep… I guess that’s okay, too.” He shrugged his big shoulders.
“Your choice.”
He had me at “shopping.”
***** 7 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
It wasn’t odd to see me come home with my arms full of bags so neither of my
parents questioned me when I walked in the door. Goku had left to build his new
home and I wanted to put away all the new things he bought me. I was
ecstatic—there were new shirts, jeans, jewelry; even a few pairs of shoes. He
let me get anything I wanted and didn’t say a word about it.
Mom glanced over her shoulder when she heard the door shut. “Hey, honey. What’d
you buy today? How did things go with the doctor? I hope you feel better soon.”
Her words were meaningless. She just wanted me out of her hair. She was
relieved I spent the day shopping instead of talking about my feelings. I
shrugged and told her it was just a few things and headed upstairs to put it
all away while my father peeked over his newspaper.
Come on. They were practically pushing me into Goku’s arms.
When all of my clothes were put away, I took a quick shower and finally hopped
in bed to text my friends and watch TV. The past few days had been hard and I
needed to relax. I yawned as I flipped through the channels, gradually nodding
off. The hangover still had a tenuous hold on me…
The dream had me before I was even fully asleep. I was sitting in my living
room watching TV and someone was sitting beside me, asking awkward questions. I
gave equally awkward responses, but I couldn’t control what I was saying. It
was a guy. He asked me something that really annoyed me and we went upstairs,
where I handed him an electric blanket. As I walked down the hall I heard him
call me.
“Will you sleep with me, Bulla?”
I spun around on my heel and laughed. “You’re kidding, right?”
Time was suddenly at a breakneck speed. I followed him in a spare bedroom and
we were lying beside each other and did he pull me closer? We fell asleep. Was
I going to dream within a dream? That kind of stuff only happened in
blockbuster movies.
We were at the wake but something was different. Everyone looked a bit more
peaceful. The strange man was watching me a lot and he gave me a pretty
necklace with a heart on the end. I loved it. He asked me to come to his house
with Pan and then… and then…
“It’s natural. Men and women do it all the time.”
My strangled gasp made waking up even worse. I put a hand on my chest,
surprised to feel my heart pounding furiously. What an eerie dream to have on
such a good day. The details of it soon slipped from my mind and I groggily
checked the time: nearly three in the morning. Again I yawned and fell back
into the soft embrace of my pillows, fully intent on snoozing my problems away.
The worst part of sleeping is that it lets your mind wander so much.
“You know grandpa pretty well, right?”
There was a picture of me with Goku on the beach when I was really little,
maybe five. Pan was gone and I was in bed with someone sitting beside me making
noises I didn’t want to hear. His fingers crawled all over me like snakes. I
shuddered but there was no escape.
“Oh, Bulla, you’re such a good girl.”
I tasted something thick and salty.
Everyone was going on a trip and we went for a nighttime walk. I knew who it
was but I was afraid to admit it to myself. He was carrying me. Then he set me
down and talked a lot about things I couldn’t understand. Not at my age. His
eyes were deep and so black. We were talking and he brought me to his house so
I could sleep in his bed.
Presents were waiting for the next morning. I didn’t like them. He didn’t want
me to leave and I flew away anyway until I was home. When my parents asked, I
lied.
“We’ve all been thinking it. Something wasn’t right about Chi-Chi’s death.” Mom
said it. She looked really upset; torn between what her heart and mind were
telling her.
Back in the field, where he was crying and telling me, a sixteen year old girl,
all his feelings. I looked into his eyes and felt a horrible desire to love and
be loved. We kissed and his eyes were black again.
Now I’m okay with everything. We’re kissing and he’s touching me where I didn’t
want to be touched. But he’s so nice. I can trust him with anything, even if
he’s weird. He asks me to taste more of the gross sticky stuff and I do without
much hesitation. I’m learning.
There’s a party with the other kids at school. I go and of course something
goes wrong. Three boys attack me and my guardian angel literally snaps their
necks. He pushes their bodies in the lake and asks me to bring Pan home. Since
when does Pan go to parties?
We’re apart for a long time. He loses his patience—he can’t keep waiting for
me. He finds me in the woods, takes me, and I’m no longer Bulla Briefs. All I
am is Goku. He takes his time with me and calls me the wrong name; says he’ll
never hurt me. I’m laughing so hard I think I might die.
My alarm clock woke me up instead. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes,
ignoring the frantic blaring from my nightstand and shook away the remnants of
my terrible nightmare. It was hard to explain how I felt. It was almost like
someone was trying to tell me something. Oh, who was I kidding? My mind was
spinning out of control like it always did.
The nightmare couldn’t even stick with me long enough for me to consider what
it meant. There was a knock on my door and mom peeked her head in, then
grinned. I was wearing a pair of pajamas Goku bought for me. They were orange
of course. That was the only color he seemed to like.
“Want to go see Goku’s new house?” mom asked.
It should’ve been a big surprise that he built it overnight but I had been
expecting it. I nodded and hopped out of bed to pick something out from my
collection I amassed during our shopping trip. He’d be happy if he saw me in
clothes he bought. He’d wink at me: it was our little secret.
When the Briefs family was ready (minus Trunks—he lived on his own now) we
drove the car out of the city toward Mt. Paozu. Mom liked driving over flying
because it made us feel more normal. Dad didn’t know how to operate a car so of
course he hated it and complained every chance he got. But this time he didn’t
say anything, just stared out the window at the passing scenery.
We arrived to see the entire Son family gathered outside, all set up for a
picnic. Videl was on her feet in seconds to greet us, already taking over Chi-
Chi’s role of being the mouthpiece of her whole family. Goten was sitting at
the picnic table with Valese, holding her hand and stroking her fingers. Gohan
was sitting beside Pan in the grass to look up at the house his father had
built.
It looked largely the same in my humble opinion. Goku had actually made the
place smaller. I had my doubts that there were even two bedrooms left anymore.
We all sat down together and everyone started talking: Pan was finally coming
to life when she told us that she would be going to Orange Star High. I was
happy for her. She deserved some normalcy.
“I hope we can be friends, Bulla,” she said with a beatific smile in my
direction. “Maybe we could go shopping one afternoon and you could introduce me
to some people. I like Shoppa a lot.”
“Of course! You name the day and I’ll be there.”
Pan wasn’t that bad. Kinda geeky but there was still a glimmer of hope. Her
smile got even bigger for a minute until she met my eyes. It faltered and she
looked down at the table, suddenly very interested by the woodwork. I didn’t
know if I did something to offend her.
“We’re realizing that Pan needs to make some good friends besides her father
and I,” Videl said in a slightly hushed tone as if it was a big secret. “Gohan
doesn’t want her to go but I went to OSH and it was a great experience. Plus,
Bulla knows most of the kids there so it won’t be hard for Pan to fit in.”
They talked for a while longer until the man of the hour finally made his
entrance. Goku was wearing a moderately fancy outfit that Videl had probably
forced on him. He smiled and we all melted. That was how strong Son Goku’s
charisma was. He rubbed the back of his head and sat down beside me. No one
seemed to notice his choice except me, which was sort of a relief.
Mom laughed. “I see Videl has had her way with you.”
I couldn’t help but notice Gohan’s eyes flicker up from watching Pan. He was
awfully protective of her and his wife. I looked over at my father and he acted
like he was staring past me, but I knew he was keeping an eye on Goku. What a
worrywart. Saiyan men were so needy.
“Someone needs to show him how to dress,” Videl said. “The house looks great.
As usual, Goku did a fantastic job. When we’re all done eating we can give you
the grand tour.”
“I just made it smaller. No need for all the room.” Goku clasped his big hands
on the table and pressed his thigh against mine. “With Goten moving in with
Valese, a second bedroom is impractical. It’s gonna be less to clean in the
end, too.”
“Bulla can help you decorate,” mom offered a bit too quickly for my taste.
“I like clothes, mom. That doesn’t make me an interior designer.”
Goku’s leg was hot. It made the bench I was sitting on feel a lot less cold.
They all started talking about how great the new house would look and how it
was a new beginning. I still felt uneasy from my nightmare. There had been
something urgent about it and now the whole thing escaped me.
Pan was back to being strangely silent and Gohan had his arm around her. Geez,
no wonder she didn’t have any friends. Even my father knew when to back off and
let me have some freedom. I picked at the macaroni salad on my plate and they
all chatted and laughed. Videl put onions in it. I hated onions.
“If you’re bringing Bulla to the doctor tomorrow she might as well stay here.”
It was mom. Was she doing it deliberately? Did she want me to give up on living
at home and just move in with Goku? I started bending my plastic fork until one
of the teeth snapped. She couldn’t be dumb and blind enough to think nothing
would ever happen between us.
“Bulla really needs the support of adults,” Videl said again in her hushed
tone. “It’s hard for teenagers to get over things like that. I read that…” She
went off on a spiel about a study she saw in a paper.
“Pan wants to go to school,” Gohan said. “She won’t be staying here.”
“I think it’ll be good for Bulla to have some time away from her friends.” Mom.
Again.
“Kakarot does not need a glorified babysitter,” dad snapped. Once again, he was
the voice of reason.
“Oh, hush up, Vegeta!” Mom was mad he found her out. “Goku could use some
company and he brings Bulla to the doctor, anyway. I’d be quiet unless you want
to make your own meals from now on.”
They wanted me to babysit him and in turn my mother wanted him babysitting me.
It was mildly sickening. Neither of us could be trusted to be alone so why not
force us to watch one another? I stabbed a piece of fruit with my ruined fork
and stuck it in my mouth before I said anything. Mom hated these kinds of
things. She hated feelings.
Videl offered to give everyone a tour of the house so Goku and I could go to my
house to get some of my clothes. I could barely keep my lips zipped. They
wanted me to stay for a week before I went back to school. It was the last
place I wanted to be. Yeah, Goku was nice and he bought me things and listened
to me whine, but I didn’t want to live with him during my time off school.
Goku put a hand on my shoulder to use instant transmission. We waved goodbye.
***** 8 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
“Bulma seems upset.”
As usual, Goku spoke matter-of-factly. I glanced at him over my shoulder as I
piled clothes into my suitcase and shrugged. Of course mom was upset. She
realized dad knew what she was doing and didn’t want her to keep pushing me out
of the house. Goku was sitting on my bed watching TV. He scratched his head
quizzically while his black eyes followed the cartoon flickering across the
screen.
I was slowly beginning to realize that something wasn’t right about Goku but I
was afraid to say anything. What if I was wrong? He’d be mad, I’d be
embarrassed and my mother wouldn’t know what to do with me. Then I’d actually
have to go to therapy. I was kneeling on the floor folding shirts when I heard
him clear his throat. He wanted me to look at him.
“Yes?” I asked without breaking my routine.
Goku sat up and my bed creaked. “Can I braid your hair? Pan showed me how to do
it.”
My spine prickled at the thought of his big fingers twisting my hair into
patterns. I unconsciously reached up to smooth my ponytail and had to swallow a
baseball-sized lump before I could talk again. No, there was no way I’d let him
touch my hair.
“Maybe later. I want to finish getting my stuff together so we can catch
everyone before they head home. Mom needs to let me go back to school soon.”
“Bulla, come here and let me braid your hair. I bought you all those nice
things and I’m still doing something nice for you.”
“I’m really tired from everything so I’ll just fall asleep in the middle of
it.”
His smile didn’t fade. “Do you really want your parents to know what you did
last night?”
We stared at each other for a few long moments as his threat sank in. The door
slammed downstairs and Goku raised an eyebrow, asking if I was willing to take
a gamble. I shook my head slowly and my bedroom door opened to let in both of
my parents.
Mom set her hands on her hips. “All packed and ready?”
“Just about!” Goku said. “Bulla’s excited to train with me and we’re going
fishing, too!”
“That’s so sweet of you, Goku. I’m glad she can get away from the city for a
while.”
Dad glared at Goku without hesitation. I got to my feet and Goku followed suit,
hugging mom after I did and promising to bring me back in one piece. Once again
I was separated from my parents and once again I was left wondering why they
didn’t care. Was I that bad? I knew they hated feelings so I hid mine as best
as I could.
The sun was setting when we arrived at Goku’s new home. He had been true to his
word: it was the same on the inside, just much smaller. It was good for a
single person to live in. I brought my things upstairs and dropped them in the
bedroom. Hopefully we didn’t have to share.
“I’m glad I don’t have to go to that place in the city anymore.”
I turned to see Goku standing in the bedroom doorway, arms folded over his
broad chest. There was a dull sense of foreboding in the back of my head that I
completely ignored. I’d let him touch my hair if he wanted to. I liked when
people did it, anyway. Dad did when I was a kid.
“What place?” I asked, only vaguely interested.
“Oh, nowhere interesting. Why don’t you sit on the bed and I’ll bring some
snacks?” He dropped his hands to try looking more open. “We can talk. I miss
talking.”
It sounded fine with me. I crept into his new bed with blue sheets and turned
on the TV. At least he invested in some modern technology. I flipped through
the channels and settled upon cartoons again since that seemed to be the only
thing he had available. Strange. Oh well. I liked them.
Something was seriously wrong and I kept ignoring it.
Goku came back upstairs with some fruit and chocolate. It was turning dark in
the bedroom but the television kept it light enough to see. He sat behind me
and moved forward so I was between his legs, which were sprawled out alongside
mine. It was near bedtime and he was only in his boxers; I could see the
muscles bulging in his calves. Then his fingers were pulling out my ponytail.
It felt good to have my hair touched. At first I ate a few pieces of fruit but
soon my eyelids were falling so far that I could barely see the cartoon. He
wound my hair in loose braids and hummed quietly while I struggled to stay
awake. His chest was just behind my back. If I let out the tension in my spine
I could be resting on him and just fall asleep…
“You’re quiet tonight,” Goku said as I was about to collapse.
“Hmm? Oh, sorry. You’re making me tired.”
When he laughed, I could feel it in my chest. “That’s a good thing, right? I’m
glad you’re comfortable with me. I like making new friends.”
“Well, to be honest, I had my doubts about you.” Now awake, I picked out a
piece of chocolate and popped it in my mouth. Strawberry center. My favorite.
“But if my parents are on board with us hanging out then I guess it’s cool with
me. I haven’t spoken to Shoppa in a while since we started talking.”
“Really now?”
“Yup. She doesn’t get me like you do.”
Oops. I jammed more fruit in my mouth and leaned away from him, feeling myself
turning red. Since when was I all sappy and emotional? I liked complaining but
I didn’t like dealing with feelings. Goku hesitated a bit at my Freudian slip
before resuming braiding my hair. His fingers brushed my neck.
“I’m really happy you trust me,” he said.
When he reached past me to get a piece of chocolate off the plate I felt
something hard press against my lower back. His breath was hot on my shoulder
for a second. He moved back into place but something was different. Now we were
closer than before and what the heck was poking me?
I shivered but it wasn’t that cold. “So the house looks nice.”
“Thanks. I’ve been here so long I could just rebuild it from memory. I closed
off the ceiling, too.”
Goku’s big hands drifted away from my hair to my shoulders and he squeezed to
test the waters. A combination of nerves and curiosity kept me from saying
anything. He massaged my back gently without uttering a word, leaving me to
watch my cartoon in silence. I couldn’t lie, it felt really good. The perfect
mix of pressure and tenderness. My concerns melted away with each rub.
Yeah, I was crazy. There was nothing wrong with Goku. He was rubbing my back
and giving me a tasty snack before we went to bed. It was one of the best
nights of my life.
“It’ll be easier if you take off your shirt,” he said.
What did it matter? He had already seen naked girls. I thought he was
genderless, in a way. I reached back to unhook my bra and took it all off
without thinking much about it. He brushed my hair forward around my shoulder
then returned to massaging my back. I was close to falling asleep.
“Are all guys like you?”
It was a question I had been burning to ask. If they were, I was really excited
about growing up.
Goku laughed. “No. Very few of them are. They’re more like your father.”
“Oh… ew,” I said, making a disgusted face. “Dad never gives mom back rubs or
anything. You do nice things for me all the time and we aren’t married or
anything. You’re really something, Goku.”
“I’m something all right. You’re beautiful. I’ve never seen anything more
perfect.”
“Thank you! I think it partially has to do with being a Saiyan but the rest is
all genetics.”
“Perfection shouldn’t be wasted. Not everyone appreciates it.” Goku leaned in
close to my ear. His breath smelled like strawberries. My favorite. “I will
never waste you, Bulla. You will always be cherished when you’re with me. You
don’t want a gangly, rude teenage boy spoiling you, right?”
It all flew over my head. I giggled and nodded, thinking it was just another
silly quirk of Son Goku. He was the only person giving me the attention I
wanted. He took my earlobe between his teeth and tugged slightly, making me
wriggle nervously. It was getting late. I needed to go to bed so I could
actually wake up at a decent time.
My naked back was pressed against his bare chest. I could feel his muscles
tensing. Goku leaned back until I was lying on him and started playing with my
hair again, a bit more idly this time. I stretched and yawned, ready to fall
asleep. One of my arms was slung over my chest; a weak grasp at modesty.
The peace was broken by a knock on the door.
Goku went stiff as a board and sat up, clinging me to his chest so he could
wrap me up in the comforter. He got out of bed and tugged on a t-shirt without
pants at first, then seemed to realize it would be a good idea to be fully
clothed. I moved the plate of snacks to the nightstand and followed him
downstairs, curious to see who was visiting so late.
When he peered through the peephole I could have sworn I heard him curse. He
ran a hand through his thick black hair and looked over his shoulder at me
standing unsurely by the staircase. The person knocked more intently and Goku
yanked it open, muttering something else.
There was a girl about my age standing outside with a piece of paper in her
hand. My jealousy flared—she was okay-looking but nothing special. She had
brown eyes and brown hair like everyone else. Me? I was blue as the ocean. I
stepped closer and her eyes flickered to me and narrowed dangerously.
“Yes?” Goku said tersely.
The girl ripped her eyes off me and handed him the paper, which he opened and
stared at.
“We need to talk,” she said. “I’m pregnant.”
***** 9 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
There was an eerie silence. Goku scrutinized the note for a while before
tearing it in half and reducing it to ashes with energy from his palm. He
roughly pushed the girl outside and turned to smile at me, trying to keep
everything under control. I stared blankly at him and clutched the comforter
tighter. Surely it had to be a mistake. Goku couldn’t have gotten a girl my age
pregnant.
“I’ll be right back, Bulla,” he said. “You go upstairs and get ready for bed.”
The moment the door shut I heard the girl shouting at him. There was a pop from
instant transmission and I was left alone with my jumbled thoughts. After a
while I found the will to move again and went back upstairs to change into my
pajamas. I wanted to be asleep when he came back.
Watching cartoons distracted me a bit. I ate the rest of the snacks and tried
not to think about a strange girl coming back to sleep at Goku’s with me. Why
did it bother me to think of that? Goku wasn’t mine. He was my friend, which
meant he could sleep with whoever he wanted, including girls my age.
Still, if the girl found out she was pregnant just now, that must have meant
they slept together over a month ago. The pieces were fitting together without
me willing them to. Chi-Chi was still alive a month ago and from what I saw,
Goku knew the girl pretty well. Did that mean…
My chest felt tight. Did Chi-Chi find out about his affair and kill herself
over it?
The door shut downstairs and I quickly laid down, pulling the sheets up to my
neck. Instead of coming to the bedroom Goku went to the bathroom and started
the shower. I was relieved. I shut my eyes and prayed for sleep to come
quickly. Maybe I wouldn’t remember any of it in the morning. There was a sick
feeling in my stomach as I realized what I had to do.
No. I didn’t have to tell my parents. Goku did a lot of nice things for me so
the least I could do was keep his secrets. Chi-Chi was always complaining and
depressed anyway. She probably didn’t even know what Goku was doing, if he was
doing it at all. The girl could’ve been blackmailing him.
The bedroom door opened. I squeezed my eyes shut as Goku wandered around the
room, getting pajamas and humming to himself. When he crawled in bed beside me
he brushed my hair away from my face to kiss my cheek. Warm water dripped on my
bare arm. I struggled to keep my eyes closed and look like I was deeply asleep.
“You’re awake,” he said. “I can tell by your energy.”
Dammit.
I sighed and turned over to face him, accidentally touching his chest in the
process. Why did he keep going to bed half naked? Goku was trembling slightly.
He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead this time and I was pressed between
his biceps and his chest. It was a wordless apology.
“She was lying. She won’t bother us anymore, Bulla.”
“She seemed really upset. I hope you helped her find somewhere to go if she
really is pregnant.”
“Girls your age lie a lot.” He pulled back to smile down at me disarmingly.
“That’s why I like you. You never lie to me. If I ask you something, you tell
me the truth.”
Something didn’t sit right with me.
The night wore on and I began to seriously worry about the strange girl. What
did the note say? Was it a confirmed pregnancy test from a doctor? Where had
she gone if Goku wouldn’t let her in? It was in his nature to be friendly and
helpful to those in need. He didn’t throw them out for no reason.
Goku fell asleep after a while and his grip on me loosened. I slipped out of
his arms and crawled out of bed, intent on figuring out where the mystery girl
went. She could’ve still been wandering the woods for all I knew. I wrapped
myself up in shirts and a jacket to head out into the cold night, double-
checking over my shoulder that I wasn’t being followed.
Why did I care? It wasn’t like me to care. Then again, it wasn’t like Goku not
to care. Everything was different and I had a feeling it would never be the
same again.
I took off into the air and flew around the nearby woods close to the tree
line, trying to make out a person hunching over or hiding from the cold. The
minutes ticked by. I grew even more worried that Goku would wake up and catch
me outside the house. Hopefully the girl was okay.
As I was preparing to head back, my eyes zeroed in on someone leaning against a
tree. I wasn’t afraid of anything thanks to my alien heritage—no human was a
match for me and bullets? What a joke. When I landed near the person I was
relieved to see it was a girl. My eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness.
It was then that I noticed she was sitting in a pool of her own blood.
The girl was slouched over and her hair obscured her face, but I could see
blood glinting off a huge hole in her head. Horrified, I stepped around to see
her from the front and had to turn to puke. Something had torn open her
stomach. Her entrails hung limply from the fatal injury, dripping with blood
and shining pink in the moonlight. It looked like a wild animal ripped her
apart.
Of course I started screaming.
Wisps of snow floated past my eyes and I fell to my knees to keep screaming
into my hands. It was totally different from what I normally saw. This was pure
gore. It was unadulterated death; proof that my own mortality was bound to
catch up with me. She was my age and she was dead.
A hand settled on my shoulder and my sobs stopped. I wiped my eyes and looked
up to see Goku standing beside me, staring hard at the strange girl. He
squeezed my shoulder and squatted down to my level without looking away from
her. He seemed annoyed. Was he mad I snuck out to find her?
“Don’t wander in the woods alone,” he said. “Mt. Paozu is home to a lot of
dangerous animals.”
The snow was falling in dense puffs. Some of it collected in Goku’s hair,
starkly contrasting the pitch black tendrils. It looked kind of pretty. He
caught me staring and I quickly turned my eyes back to the horrific scene by
the tree. I’d rather vomit again than deal with him laughing at me.
“Why didn’t you bring her home?” I asked.
“She wouldn’t let me. She got mad and stormed off; I didn’t want to chase her
around. I didn’t know this would happen, though.” He wrapped his arm around my
shoulders and pulled me close to his chest. “I’m sorry that you had to see
this.”
“We need to bury her before more animals come, and you should tell her family.
Maybe she has a wallet on her so we can find out where they live.”
“I already checked. She was an orphan living on the streets.”
My brow furrowed. “We still need to tell the police—”
“Shh, it’s time to go home. I’ll take care of everything in the morning.”
“What if an animal comes along—”
Goku wasn’t having it. He scooped me into his arms and began the journey back
on foot instead of flying or using instant transmission. My eyes were still wet
with tears and I couldn’t get the image of the girl out of my mind. How could
he leave her body there to rot? At the very least she deserved a burial.
The nagging suspicion came back…
Big hands smoothed my hair down. “Don’t sneak out like that again.”
I nodded woodenly. Goku knew where I was, especially when I was upset. It made
my energy shine like a beacon. Of course, dad could pick up on it, too, but the
intensity of Goku’s energy made it eclipse everyone else’s. You could only hone
in on him in a crowd of people. You became untraceable around him, which was
sometimes a bad thing.
We stepped over a log and he had to readjust his hands. One wound up supporting
my behind. I really wanted to get down and fly myself home. What if he had
really gotten that girl pregnant? It frightened me to think of Goku with girls
my age. The blinding innocence around him was fading fast.
“Did you really…” I couldn’t even finish the question. “I’m sorry, I don’t even
know why I’m asking. Of course you didn’t. You were married.”
Goku kissed the side of my head. “Girls your age lie a lot, Bulla.”
Yeah, she was lying. She was another crazy teenager thrown out on the streets.
It was probably forged by some backwoods doctor. It brought a bit of peace to
my mind and I sighed with relief, closing my eyes as Goku finally decided to
start flying. The wind blew through my hair and he held me closer to form a
cocoon that protected me from the cold. There wasn’t an evil bone in his body.
At the house, Goku set me down in bed and started pulling off my layers of
clothes without asking. He seemed kind of mad so I kept my mouth shut. I raised
my arms when told and laid flat on my back so he could shimmy my pants off my
hips. When I climbed under the sheets, he shook his index finger and patted his
thigh, gesturing for me to come over. I cocked my head quizzically.
“You’ve been bad,” he said.
More seconds of confusion passed before I understood what he was saying. A
giggle slipped out of my mouth and I quickly slapped my hands over my lips to
keep from bursting into laughter. Was he serious? I was sixteen! Besides, it
wasn’t like I did anything terrible. Dad hadn’t even done that since I was a
little kid. It was another one of Goku’s jokes.
The light was gone. He grabbed my wrist to pull me into his lap on my stomach
and held me down when I protested. The cold air nipped at my legs as he pulled
my pants down—was that necessary?—and I panicked at the thought of his giant
hands smacking me. From what I remembered of the good old days, it was gonna
hurt for a few weeks. I wasn’t sure if I should scream.
Smack. “I do nice things for you. I want you to listen to me.”
An aggrieved hiss snapped from my teeth and I dug my nails into Goku’s thigh.
His whole body shivered and he smacked me again on the other side, this time
knotting his fingers in my hair when I sank into his skin again. It hurt pretty
bad.
Smack. This time I had no recovery period. It was pure pain.
“Will you do what I tell you?”
“I thought you weren’t like my—”
Smack. “Answer the question, Bulla. Will you do what I tell you?”
I grimaced and tears sprung into my eyes. “Yes.”
Goku seemed satisfied with my answer. He gently pulled my pants up and I tied
my arms around his neck so he could lower me into bed. Lying on my back wasn’t
an option anymore. There was so much pain in my backside that I didn’t know
when it would end. He laid beside me and held me to his chest when I started
crying in frustration. That wasn’t fair. I didn’t do anything wrong.
But… he was right. He did nice things for me. I should listen. It was bad to
ignore him.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
His Adam’s apple bobbed and he pulled back to see my face. He wiped my tears
away with his thumbs. I saw the want in his eyes and suddenly, I was five all
over again, tiny and fragile. Goku was older than me. Way older. He knew things
I never would and I was a half-Saiyan high school student. I was lying in bed
with a man who was three, maybe four times my age.
Why didn’t it feel wrong anymore?
“Close your eyes,” he said.
It was so easy to trust Goku. My eyes shut immediately and I was fully aware of
the warm bed; of the soft sheets holding our bodies close together. The dead
girl was gone from my mind. It was worried about things I couldn’t comprehend.
I waited patiently. Another present?
One of his hands wound around the back of my head and carefully tilted my chin
upwards. His thumb ran over my lips. What was he doing? It had to be candy.
He’d put it in my mouth and say “surprise!” and hopefully he remembered I hated
dark chocolate—
Soft lips pressed against mine and all my thoughts were gone.
It lasted for a few seconds and Goku stopped to gauge my reaction. I stared at
him blankly. Did he… did we… did Goku just kiss me? I’d kissed a guy before a
long time ago but… something was different. I touched my lips and he moved
closer, pressing our bodies together.
“I’m… sorry,” I stammered.
He laughed. It sounded different to my ears now. “Don’t be sorry. Did you like
it?”
“I… I don’t know. Maybe. I’m really tired.”
“Are you going to tell anyone?”
Woah, woah, woah, what was happening? Goku kissed me and… what the heck was
poking against my leg? I shook my head quickly as the throbbing in my behind
came back with a vengeance and he smiled happily, quickly leaning it to kiss me
again. It was longer and deeper: his tongue was in my mouth and his fingers
were tied up in my hair.
Warmth coiled in my belly and I started kissing him back, curious and awkward.
It was new and exciting and I knew I could trust him. He came even closer and
we were pushed together by his big hand on my back and I felt the hardness
against my skin again. My hands were busy in Goku’s hair but they found a
moment to reach between us and irately push the object away.
Goku’s whole body stiffened. He broke our kiss to groan and the hard thing was
pushed into my palm. It was hot and oddly big. Realization dawned upon me and I
shrieked in horror, quickly pulling my hand back like I touched molten lava and
shoving Goku back. His hair was even crazier than usual. There was a pink tint
to his cheeks. He grinned at me.
“We can do that a different day,” he murmured. “Let’s go to sleep before we get
carried away.”
“Did I just… oh my god, I am so sorry.”
“Oh, trust me, I don’t mind. Come on over here so we can rest.”
The heat got worse when we were spooning. I was trembling.
***** 10 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
There were voices downstairs when I woke. I blearily rubbed my eyes and hissed
in pain when I sat up, putting too much pressure on my behind. Oh, yeah. That
had happened last night. I carefully climbed out of bed as laughter carried up
the stairs and made my way across the room. I needed to use the bathroom and
brush my teeth before I went to see who came to visit.
When I finished my business in the bathroom, I tugged down the hem of my pajama
pants to see the damage Goku had done. There were angry purple handprint
bruises marring my skin. I winced and rummaged through his medicine cabinet for
baby powder. It would help a bit.
My memory trickled back and my lips started tingling. Oh, yeah. That happened,
too. Goku kissed me and from what I was beginning to recall, I liked it. I
brushed my hair and put it up in a ponytail as my throat tightened nervously.
Now things would be weird. Was I allowed to tell Shoppa?
Mom and dad were gonna kill me when they found out.
I made my way downstairs to see Goku sitting in the living room with Goten,
Valese, Gohan, and Videl. They were all drinking something out of mugs;
probably coffee from the smell of it. All eyes turned to me when I stepped off
the last stair and I waved, scanning their faces for sadness or worry. Goten
and Valese were both beaming and Videl looked excited, too. Gohan’s eyes
flickered to his father.
“Hi, Bulla!” Valese said. “We all have some great news!”
Well that was a relief. Anything was better than bad news in the morning. I
took a seat beside Goku and could feel Gohan’s eyes probing me. He was
suspicious.
Valese took Goten’s hand and bit her lower lip. “It turns out that Goten and I
are… well, we’re having a baby! It was so unexpected but I think I’m ready to
settle down and start a family. We’re going to build a house near Mt. Paozu and
live just like Goku.”
It felt like someone stabbed me through the heart with a cold knife. Valese was
pregnant? She wasn’t even that much older than me. Why was she going to settle
down and raise a family? I put on a smile and leaned across the coffee table to
hug her, offering my congratulations. Every man in the Son family was strangely
eager to have kids and live in the wilderness. Except Gohan.
“We’re pregnant, too!” Videl squealed, squeezing Gohan’s knee. “Valese and I
can’t wait. It came at the perfect time for both of us! She and Goten are going
to live with us while their house is being built. Pan is so excited to have a
sibling, too. She really loves kids.”
“Now Trunks just needs to meet someone,” I said jokingly.
“He’s a permanent bachelor.” Goten was grinning. “Besides, kids aren’t his
thing. I remember when you were a baby and he asked Vegeta to give you to dad.
He was a needy little brat.”
“How unfortunate that he didn’t,” Gohan said.
Everyone laughed but I knew it wasn’t mean to be funny. I wanted to curl up and
die. Gohan stared at me, hard, until I finally had to excuse myself to the
bathroom. I hurried upstairs to the beat of my pounding heart and rushed into
the bedroom. I turned on my heel to slam the door shut and it banged against an
arm, forcing it back open. Gohan stood there with a frigid expression on his
face.
I cleared my throat. “I’m going to sleep. I was up late.”
“Were you?” He leaned on the doorframe without breaking his gaze. “Weird,
because my father was always strict about bedtime. I guess it’s different with
little girls, right?”
My stomach flipped. We stared at each other for a few moments.
“I’m going to sleep,” I repeated.
“But he didn’t like dealing punishment. He left that to mom and she was more
than happy to oblige. Goten always had a certain look on his face after and
oddly, I see something a lot like it on yours right now. Fear is a good weapon
against children. When they’re afraid to talk back, you have total obedience,
and kids can do a lot of things for you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Do you mind?”
Gohan leaned down to my eye level, scowling deeply. “Pan is afraid to go
outside. Any ideas why?”
“Why should I know?”
“I’m just trying to dredge up the logical conclusion sitting in front of your
face. You know, if anyone ever laid a hand on my daughter… I don’t know what
I’d do. I think it would all turn black and there’d be a lot of blood.” He put
a hand on my shoulder to keep me looking at him. “She’s told me some things. No
one’s hurt her, but I think he’s going to hurt other people.”
The image of the girl’s guts spewed all over the meadow flashed in my mind. I
quickly pushed it away and shook free of Gohan’s grasp. He needed to stop
babying Pan. She was probably making up a story for attention because her loser
parents never let her outside. That’s why she was afraid to go out.
“You’re mistaken,” I said.
“I have no way to prove what Pan has told me so I guess you could be right.
It’s just so nice of dad to volunteer to watch you for a week. He confided a
lot of things in my daughter but he never took any action with her. She wasn’t
the target. After all these years, I can’t believe I was so blind.”
“There’s nothing to see. If you don’t go away I’m gonna call Goku.”
Suddenly I was trapped between Gohan and the wall. He was shaking his head. He
clapped a hand over my mouth when I tried to scream and looked sort of
disgusted.
“I get it,” he said. “You’re young and you look like Bulma. You aren’t
unattractive. But why go to all this trouble? A lot of teenage girls have low
self-esteem and they’ll put up with anything you throw at them. Maybe it’s part
of being a Saiyan. Maybe… I’m trying to suppress it.”
Gohan gently kissed my forehead and I started shaking with terror. Oh no, oh
no. He laughed but it didn’t sound amused. It was creepy. I screamed into his
palm and he moved his hand to kiss me full on the mouth, aggressive and angry.
Horrified, I pushed against his chest and struggled to pull away.
When he stopped, he was laughing again. He wiped his mouth and let me down from
the wall to run a hand through his thick hair. His glasses were foggy. I wanted
to puke.
“I guess I can see the appeal,” Gohan said.
Again I started crying. Why did I keep doing that? I sank to the floor and hid
my head between my knees, sobbing into my pajama pants. So many bad things were
happening. Videl was downstairs and she and Valese were pregnant but Gohan was
upstairs taking out his anger on me. I wanted to go home. I wanted to tell my
father and watch him tear them apart.
The bedroom door opened and shut. Gohan rejoined the group and I could hear all
of them laughing again. I tangled my fingers in my hair and screamed into my
kneecap, biting down furiously. I was so frustrated with being treated like a
commodity. It was all the Son family. They were sick.
A while passed before everyone left the house. I could finally breathe. The
bedroom door opened again and I felt Goku look down at me. He hoisted me to my
feet and his eyebrows knitted together curiously. He smoothed my hair back and
held me close so I could cry into his chest. At least he understood. He cared
about me more than anyone in my family.
“I know you’re worried about the girl,” Goku said, “but she’s in a better place
now.”
Could I trust him? His own son attacked me. He might take it the wrong way and
fly off the handle.
Instead, I nodded like he figured out what was bothering me. Goku carried me
downstairs and set me on the couch so he could make lunch. I was shell-shocked.
Gohan had kissed me and it wasn’t pleasant. He was a seriously angry man and he
did a good job hiding it. I opened my palms to look at them and couldn’t make
them stop quivering. I was always shaking like a leaf.
Everyone was tripping over themselves to make my life worse. Mom threw me out
for the week, Goku was confusing me with kissing and presents, and Gohan was
mad about Goku being nice to me. Was he jealous? I never saw kissing as
something negative but maybe he used it to scare me.
If he did, it worked.
Goku brought out more fruit and veggies with some juice. I ate a bit—my
appetite had severely diminished over the past weeks. He watched me eat and
pulled a blanket around my shoulders to shield me from the cold. He was so
nice. How could anyone not like him?
“You shake a lot,” he said.
“I know.”
“Isn’t it great that Valese is pregnant? And Videl, too!”
I shrugged. “Valese is too young.”
“Too young?” Goku scratched his head. “But girls’ bodies let them make babies
at a certain age for a reason. When that happens, it’s okay for them to have
them.”
It was hard to breathe again. I shoved some carrots in my mouth to avoid having
a weird conversation with Goku and hoped he’d drop it. He stretched and told me
he was going to take a shower, leaving me alone in the living room. When the
water started upstairs, I heard someone knock on the door. I hesitated until
the third knock before getting up to answer it.
Gohan was standing there. My spine caved and I shrank back so he could enter.
He raised an eyebrow and stalked over to the coffee table to get Videl’s scarf.
On the way back, he abruptly changed course and pinned me against the wall by
the TV. My lower lip quivered. No, I was sick of crying.
He grinned. “You know, I loved my mother. She pushed me to have brains instead
of being a mindless brute. When I found out she committed suicide over
something my father did, I was afraid I’d never be able to be at peace. But you
know, karma is a funny thing. I know exactly how to get under his skin.”
The shower stopped. Gohan ruffled my hair and stepped out, black shoes clicking
on the porch. I remained still and stared blankly into space. He’d never been
scary before. Why was I suddenly at a loss for words? Why was I suddenly afraid
of the Son family?
Goku came downstairs with only his pants on and dried his hair with a towel. He
looked at me and asked why the door was open. I started laughing.
***** 11 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
My next few therapy sessions were skipped like the first. Goku bought me even
more things and openly held my hand in public, stirring up all sorts of
feelings I was terrified to confront. Was I attracted to him? Wasn’t it wrong?
Why were the lines being blurred so much? I wanted to talk to Shoppa but Goku
took my phone away. For the rest of the week, I was scared and confused.
It was easier to avoid Goku than I thought. He didn’t want to push me too much.
He’d sleep on the couch and I had the bed to myself at night so I could curl up
into a ball and cry alone. I hoped I’d shrivel up and disappear into nothing.
My whole life had been turned upside down.
At the end of the week, Pan came to visit and bring the homework I’d missed.
I’d have to finish it before I went back. Bummer. She seemed much happier and
was wearing normal clothes instead of the baggy guy stuff her parents let her
run around in. Goku slung his arm around my shoulders and she didn’t even
flinch. Now I was the meek one. My mouth was sealed shut.
Thankfully, her father didn’t tag along. But she didn’t want to stay at the
house.
“Your mom said you can stay at my house for the last week if you want,” Pan
said, sipping tea. “I can help you with your homework so you can catch up.”
My chest hurt. Goku looked down at me and back to his granddaughter, who was
happy as peach. She knew he was winning me over and she felt great about it.
“Bulla should probably go home,” Goku said. “She needs to be with her parents.”
“Awww, well maybe she can sleep over once or twice. She’s wound so tight all
the time now.”
As she spoke I remembered to breathe again.
“You’re gonna have a sibling soon!” Goku was smiling excitedly. He loved kids.
Pan nodded, beaming. “I can’t wait. I hope it’s a boy because girls are kind of
lame—no offense, Bulla—and we can spar and play outside!”
My palms were sweating. I wiped them off on my pants and muttered that I needed
to go get packed. They watched me walk upstairs and kept talking when I was
gone. I rushed in the bedroom to start throwing close in my suitcase, desperate
to leave. Goku was right again. All I needed was to go home and sleep in my own
bed for the first time in forever.
After Pan left Goku came upstairs to check on my progress. I zipped my suitcase
shut and didn’t pay much attention until he put his hands on my shoulders.
Again, it felt like my spine caved in. I shrank inside. I was shriveling up
into a husk of what I used to be.
“Will you come visit?”
“Sure, if I have time. School is gonna be rough and I want to see my parents.”
“Oh. Well I’d really like to see you.” Goku squeezed my shoulders tightly. It
was a threat. “Don’t you want to see me?”
I nodded and grimaced. He was hurting me. Maybe it would be better if I told my
parents and cleared everything up before it spun out of control. Gohan was mad
at me, too, and he mentioned something about getting under Goku’s skin. I
didn’t want to be involved.
I just wanted to go to school and be a regular teenager again. I’d seen a woman
commit suicide, saw a girl with her guts torn out, and made out with a man
three times my age. It was time to go back to my roots; to remember that I was
Bulla Briefs, not some stupid floozy.
Soft lips pressed against the side of my throat and I turned back to jello. Oh
well, I was too deeply involved to get out by now. If I told my parents it
would just start a big battle and Videl would be mad at me, too, and so would
Goten and Shoppa wouldn’t want to talk to me…
Goku turned me to face him. He looked confused. “You’ve been staying away from
me for the past few days. Is everything okay? Did you not want me to kiss you?
Or do you want more?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Or that. We should act like it never happened
because my father is gonna find out like he always does.”
“But… you liked it, didn’t you?” He rubbed the back of his head, eyes
flickering to my mouth. “If you liked it, why don’t you want to do it again?
Both of us just have to be quiet and no one will know. Your mother likes when
you’re with me.”
“Goku, please. Someone will find out and it won’t end well. I mean, I
technically didn’t mind it but that doesn’t make it right. There are a lot of
bad things people like: alcohol, candy, drugs.”
He was crestfallen. “It isn’t bad. You don’t say no. None of you do.”
Talking to Goku about my feelings felt like I was prodding an open wound. It
was sort of uncomfortable ever since he kissed me. I turned to pick up my
suitcase and he spun me back to kiss me passionately on the lips, ramming me up
against the footboard of the bed. It hurt, again. My hands managed to brace me
but I could hear the slab of wood protesting to the force Goku was pushing on
it.
It happened fast. He carried me around the bed and pushed me down, smiling when
I stared at him in alarm. His eyes were empty. The foul intentions swirling
within made it hard for me to see anything else. I couldn’t hear anything
except my own frantically beating heart.
“You’re still having trouble trusting me,” he said. He was hovering above me
like an incubus from my nightmares. His hands were pinning my arms down.
“Bulla, what did we talk about a few nights ago? I’m trying to be patient but I
need you to have full faith in me.”
I twisted my wrists desperately until it burned. My behind still hurt. I didn’t
want more pain.
“I’m sorry!” I said. “I was just being logical—”
“Shh, you’re still not listening to me. Be quiet. If you stop talking, you
won’t be able to make me upset. You liked kissing me the other night, right? Be
honest. Bad things happen to girls who lie.”
I nodded fiercely, keeping my lips firmly pressed together. Goku seemed pleased
with the response and gently pressed his lips to my forehead as a sign that I
was doing well. He was on top of me. His broad shoulders blocked out the light.
My whole body was trembling again like I was cold.
He kissed me again and I wasn’t sure if I wanted it but I gave in anyway. He
released my arms and his hands slowly crept under the hem of my shirt; he was
too impatient to keep waiting. I squirmed when his fingers curiously curled
around my breasts. Why was I letting him grope me? It felt pretty good but my
stomach was churning.
Goku grinded his pelvis into mine. “You’re so much more agreeable this time.”
It was supposed to be the day I left everything behind. Instead, his hands were
all over me, raising goosebumps across my skin and bringing out more weird
feelings I was afraid to confront. He slipped his fingers into my underwear and
touched a spot that felt good until I started panting. The longer he was
touching me, the dirtier I felt. I needed a shower.
“Touch me,” he whispered.
I balked. Goku grabbed my wrist and pulled it down until my hand was resting on
a hot bulge in his pants. When I tried to yank free he pushed it into my palm
and groaned. When could I go home? When could I sleep alone and not have to
worry about someone grabbing at me?
No, it was better to accept it and let him do what he wanted. Goku was nice to
me and nothing he was doing actually hurt. I liked it but my damn conscience
got in the way. If I let it go and trusted him, I’d be much happier and much
less confused. It would probably be better to tell him about—
“Grandpa, Mrs. Bulma sent us to get Bulla!”
Goku’s heavy eyelids flew open. He immediately climbed off me and got to his
feet, sucking on his fingers that had been down my pants. I rose and had to fix
my pants, rehook my bra, fix my hair… he got a lot accomplished in a short
amount of time. He looked at me longingly before leaving the room to greet Pan
and whoever had tagged along to pick me up. Damn. I was starting to enjoy
myself.
After I was back to normal I headed downstairs with my suitcase. Soon I would
be home with my parents and I could go on my laptop and talk to my friends
instead of screwing around with Goku. Well, I kind of wanted to still do that,
too. Just not as much as I was now. I heaved my suitcase onto the floor and
almost ran right back upstairs to hide.
Gohan had his arm around Pan’s shoulders protectively. She noticed me and
smiled but he kept his eyes firmly fixed on his father, who was too busy
watching me struggle to notice. It was funny: everyone in the room knew our
little secret but none of them cared. It wasn’t a burden to Pan anymore, Goku
was the one involved, and Gohan intended on using it to get revenge.
“Your mom wants you to stay with us,” Pan said. “She’s worried you’ll get too
depressed being at home but she figured you’d want to be closer to the city for
a while. Daddy said he’ll bring you to the doctor’s since mom is mostly hanging
out with Valese at her house. Isn’t that great?”
“I want to go home.” Also, I wanted to cry.
“It’s only another week. Then we can go back to school together.” Pan looked up
at her father excitedly. “We can all play games and talk!”
Goku was fidgeting, trying not to say anything, but he couldn’t help himself.
He was afraid of losing me. As far as I knew, he didn’t know what Gohan had
done. Thinking about what might happen when he wasn’t around to keep an eye on
me made him nervous.
“Bulla should go home,” he blurted. “She’s tired. She doesn’t need to keep Pan
entertained for another week. She wants to catch up on homework.”
Gohan’s eyes narrowed. “Why is she tired? She’s had a nice, relaxing week in
the mountains and she’s been going to the doctor every day. She should be
feeling rested. I think she needs to hang around people her own age and get
used to being a normal teenager again before school starts.”
Pan glanced between them and picked up my suitcase to help me carry it out. She
grabbed my arm and pulled me outside as Goku put his hands on his hips and
glared at his son. As we flew away from the house, the front door slammed shut.
***** 12 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
Hanging around Pan turned out to be exactly what I needed.
Gohan and Videl had a pretty big house. It rivaled the size of mine and
honestly, Videl spent more time decorating and making it feel like an actual
home than my mother did. We went in the kitchen to make ourselves dinner—fried
chicken and steamed vegetables—and she Skyped her mother while we ate in their
big dining room. Videl was happy to see me with her daughter. She wanted Pan to
be normal.
“How’re you doing nowadays?” she asked, crocheting a blanket without even
looking at it.
You could tell Videl was pregnant. Her cheeks were flushed and the smile never
left her face. She turned into quite the homemaker when she settled down with
Gohan. Videl was by far my favorite member of the Son family. The rest of them
were kind of abnormal.
I shrugged, stuffing chicken in my mouth. “Not too bad. I wish my mother would
let me go to school but hanging out in the woods with Goku was fine. It’s super
boring.”
“I promise things won’t be boring at our house.” Videl glanced down at her
blanket and pulled a few stitches out. “Pan is always looking to go shopping or
whatever else and I don’t have the energy to do it right now. You two will have
a great time. Gohan can focus on work, too, so Panny and I won’t be living in a
cardboard box.”
“You’re hilarious,” Pan said sourly.
“I know, sweetheart. Your father reminds me of that every day. Well, I need to
go pat Valese’s back while she pukes. Goten has a weak stomach—I think it runs
in the family. Have fun, girls!”
We waved goodbye and Pan shut the laptop, muttering about her mother being a
jokester. She watched me take out my cell phone and quickly took hers out,
which was a regular flip phone. I glanced at her briefly and realized she
wanted my number. It was probably a good idea.
After we exchanged number she awkwardly rubbed the back of her head. Now she
was watching me shoveling food in my mouth. I was too hungry to care so I kept
on going until she started talking. I’d been too stressed out to eat very much
at Goku’s.
“Grandpa isn’t a bad person,” Pan said. “He’s… well, he doesn’t understand
things.”
My throat tightened. I had a hard time swallowing my food. “Yeah, I know. I’m
not upset or anything.” Lie. That was a huge lie. “He’s nice to me. It’s just
really weird sometimes with the age difference.”
“That’s what my daddy said. He didn’t tell mom, though. He didn’t tell anyone
and neither did I. Ever since I told him he’s been locking himself in his
office a lot with the music up really loud. It’s all old symphonies. Mozart, I
think.”
“I wouldn’t be very happy if I found out my father was chasing teenagers.” I
took a sip of my juice and leaned back on the couch to text Shoppa. “Would you
be?”
Pan stuck out her tongue in disgust and picked up our plates to put them in the
washer. My heart was racing and I was happy that she was only a quarter Saiyan.
Half-breeds like me could hear the squelching of blood slipping through
arteries if someone’s heart was beating fast enough. She asked if I wanted to
hang out in her room and I agreed. It was the safest place to be.
We talked for a while about everything that had happened. She didn’t blame me
for Chi-Chi’s death even though she knew as well as I did that it was what
ultimately drove her to hang herself. She was mostly upset with Goku for even
straying from her in the first place. I considered telling her about the dead
pregnant girl in the woods but I didn’t want to drive her even further from her
grandfather.
The conversation only touched on Goku and me for a few minutes, much to my
relief. Pan pushed me to tell my parents and save myself the pain of keeping it
all inside. Yet she still admitted that Goku wasn’t a bad person—his heart was
made of gold but it wasn’t in the right place. She kept the secret for years
before finally caving and telling her father. It didn’t bother her until Chi-
Chi killed herself over it.
She never thought Goku would act on what he was telling her. He was always
joking around. She never knew when to take him seriously. Neither did I.
Both of us took showers and got ready for bed. My parents had dropped off fresh
clothes for my next week away from home. Why wasn’t I allowed to go back there?
I wanted to talk to Pan about my family but I didn’t want her to think I was
weird so I kept my mouth shut. She already knew I was making out with her
grandpa. I couldn’t push my luck with our tenuous friendship.
It was nice to talk to another girl. I was starting to feel comfortable again.
We both fell asleep in her big bed as rain began to pour outside…
Hours passed before I woke up. It was the typical inspiration for my brain to
pull me out of deep sleep—I needed to use the bathroom. I yawned and carefully
got out of bed so I didn’t wake Pan, then made my way down the hallway toward
their half-bath. As I padded down the cold hardwood floor I could hear music
playing from another room. The door was shut.
Really bad idea, said the voice in my head. Go back to bed before you find
something you’ll regret.
I decided to go to the bathroom before I did any snooping. When I came back out
into the hall, the door was slightly ajar and I could hear some kind of
classical music. I gently nudged it open a bit more and peered inside to see
what was going on.
Gohan was sitting ramrod straight in a big black chair with his eyes closed.
His hands were clasped neatly in his lap. The huge window behind him was open,
letting moonlight pour in to illuminate the paperwork scattered across his
desk. His eyes opened and black irises flickered to me. He blinked and a
gruesome smile spread across his face. I shrank back again.
“Come in,” he said.
It wasn’t a request. I stepped inside his office and shut the door behind me,
terrified to the core. Gohan pressed a button on his desk and the music was off
so we were plunged into an eerie silence. He gestured at the chair sitting
perfectly centered in front of his desk. I hesitated for a moment, but quickly
took a seat when he raised a black eyebrow.
I fiddled with the hem of my shirt. Thankfully I kept forgetting that Gohan had
shoved me up against a wall and jammed his tongue in my mouth. That would make
talking to his daughter totally impossible.
“Wandering?” he asked.
“No. I went to the bathroom and heard you blasting music.”
“It helps me relax.” Gohan took a cigarette from a compartment in his desk and
placed it between his teeth. He used a flash of energy to light it and blew
some smoke out. “I’d offer you one, but you’re too young. Sorry.”
Annoying. I waited impatiently for him to talk or do what he wanted. I was
exhausted and Pan’s bed was way comfier than Goku’s. Gohan took a few drags off
his cigarette before he looked at me again, this time with a little more
amusement. I hated the smell of cigarettes.
“You look so cool,” I said dryly, watching him flick ashes into a tray.
He rolled his eyes. “When you have a wife with a baby on the way and a teenage
daughter, you’ll understand. Now, I’ve spoken with Goku and he seems to think
you two are an item. Is this true? If you think that as well, I’d like you to
understand the ramifications of what you’re claiming.”
I scowled deeply and waved smoke out of my face. “Don’t use SAT words on me at
two in the morning. I’m not dating your father, I’m not marrying him, and I’m
not sleeping with him. Gross. I don’t know why he thinks that but we all know
Goku isn’t exactly all there. Don’t worry; I’ll never be your mommy.”
“No, you won’t. Goku will suffer in silence for the rest of his immortal
years.” Gohan put out his cigarette and popped a mint in his mouth, then began
organizing papers. “I think your mother is pushing you into his arms to some
degree. I’m not sure why, but it probably has to do with your age. You know how
teenagers are. They get involved in dangerous things. I worry about Pan all the
time.”
“You’re making her into a freak. She needs friends. The only guy she even knows
is her daddy and you’re the only one in her cell phone. My father is the
proudest, most arrogant man in the universe and even he lets me go out and have
fun. She can take care of herself.”
“We aren’t talking about Pan right now, Bulla. We’re talking about you and my
father. I don’t want you to speak to him, look at him, or indulge his desires.
None of these needs to reach either of your parents as long as we don’t drag it
on any longer. Goten and I are both expecting. No one needs more stress.”
I folded my arms, not happy with being threatened. “Don’t tell me what to do. I
like Goku. He’s nice, unlike some people I know who corner me and shove me into
walls.” I tapped my chin and pointed at Gohan, acting surprised. “If I’m not
mistaken, you fall into that category.”
Gohan suddenly got to his feet and slammed his hands on the desk. I jerked back
in my chair, forgetting that I was talking to yet another unstable member of
the Son family. He grabbed my arm to jerk me forward and held a fistful of my
hair, forcing me to look into his angry black eyes. The chair rolled away
quietly toward the door.
“If I’m not mistaken,” he hissed, “you’re seriously beginning to piss me off.”
I laughed. “I’m not afraid of you. Your father is much scarier. You’re just a
pathetic nerd who misses his mommy. Goku makes my skin crawl with the sound of
his voice.”
It only took Gohan a second to crush his lips against mine. He dragged me over
the desk, sending papers flying to the floor, and set me in his lap. We were
angry. He couldn’t kiss me hard enough so he yanked my hair to expose my neck
and ravaged me with his teeth. There’d be hickies. I’d have to lie again: It
was Goku. Oopsies! Pan was really gonna hate me.
One of Gohan’s hands slipped down the back of my pants to squeeze my behind. I
hissed in pain—it still hurt from the fateful night with Goku. He laughed
coldly and crushed me into his lap until I could feel the hardness pressing
against me again. It was hot and big.
“I don’t like you,” he said. “You’re a spoiled brat. I love my wife.”
“Oh yeah, because I’m totally head over heels for you.” I tangled my fingers in
his hair and leaned in close to his ear. “You’re the exact opposite of my type,
Gohan. Your father has a better chance of getting in my pants than you do.”
A few seconds later I was lying flat on my back on his desk. His big hands
pinned my wrists down to the cool surface and I was ashamed to be enjoying what
we were doing. He leaned down close to my face so I could see the beginnings of
wrinkles near his eyes. Half-Saiyans aged faster than pure bloods.
“Don’t you remember what I said?” he asked. “I’m getting under Goku’s skin. I’m
going to take you tonight and you’re going to cry to him about it. When he gets
angry, he’ll come after me and I’ll have an excuse to break him apart.”
Gohan took off his belt and unzipped his pants, clearly thinking I was going to
willingly rip off my pajama pants and let him have his way with me. I wasn’t
sure. Did I want to do that? It was something I wanted to wait for and this
would be strictly for revenge. Before I could say anything more he clapped a
hand over my mouth and tore both my pants and underwear down so they hung
rather ungracefully around my ankles. Apparently I didn’t have a choice.
There was searing pain and Gohan was draped over me, panting into my neck. He
was moving in and out of me but it hurt too much to worry. I lay there quietly
and stared at the ceiling. Weird. I remembered when Videl babysat me while mom
worked. Gohan gave me baths sometimes.
Now he was violently taking what he wanted. Maybe I owed it to him. He kissed
my neck and groaned quietly. It felt like he took an eternity to finish. I
always thought I’d enjoy losing my virginity. It’d be in a big bed with a
canopy, and we’d drink some wine first so it didn’t hurt as much. Gohan thrust
forcefully, making me whimper. Yet another dream shattered.
“Damn,” he said, out of breath. “I can’t deal with two babies. I don’t think
Videl’s bought any condoms in a while.” He pulled open a drawer, still inside
me, and rummaged through it for a second before slamming it shut again. He ran
his hands up my shirt to cup my breasts. “God, I’m starting to get dad’s
obsession. I could do this all night.”
It seemed to dawn upon him that he could. Gohan slipped out of me and tugged up
his pants just enough to cover himself. He turned to draw the curtains on the
big window and picked me up off his desk to carry me out of the messy office.
He locked the door before continuing down the hall to the last door and set me
down on the floor inside. There was pulsating pain between my legs.
“I want to go back to bed,” I bleated.
Gohan locked the bedroom door, too, and turned to face me. He yanked off my
shirt and forced my arms down so he could admire my nakedness. Gross, gross,
gross. What was I thinking?! At least Goku was widowed. Videl was very much
alive and pregnant. She was nice to me! She was crocheting blankets for her new
baby and I was… I was…
“I need this,” Gohan said.
“I want to go home.”
“You are home, Bulla.”
He loosened his tie. He wasn’t smiling.
When you play with fire, you’ll always get burned.
***** 13 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
Something crawling under my skin woke me up, thrashing and desperately
scratching. I screamed in terror and a hand covered my mouth to muffle it until
my throat was sore. Bugs were squirming in my flesh. I flew up in bed to slap
them away but it kept coming back. They were there. They would always be there.
I would always feel them creeping and biting…
There was a bored yawn. “Go to sleep, Bulla. You’re having a nightmare.”
A whole colony of bugs was festering on my thighs. There was only one solution
and my exhaustion was making me crazy. I stabbed my fingernails through my skin
and raked them downwards toward my waist, shrieking in pain as blood poured
over my hands. It was the only solution. It was it.
With pain, the bugs left. They were far, far—
“Will you please…” Gohan put his hand on my thigh and immediately drew it back
when he felt the blood. “Jesus Christ, Bulla! What are you doing?!”
It sparkled in the moonlight. My chest was heaving from both the intense pain
and my fear. Gohan groaned and got out of bed, leaving me staring at my
bloodied palms. Pretty. My legs were shaking a lot. I forgot the throbbing
between my legs when I fell asleep but it came back when I was conscious. Maybe
I could drink a lot of Nyquil and sleep forever.
Blood dripped on the blue bed sheets, staining them purple. I smeared more on
the comforter and giggled a bit to myself. What was wrong with me? Nothing
really. If my bodily fluids were flowing out of me I might as well enjoy
playing with them. I hated my body.
Gohan came back and swore when he saw me drawing smiley faces on his pillow
with my blood. Duct tape was unrolled and pushed against my mouth. He pushed me
and I immediately fell flat on my back. Now I was conditioned. Something rough
wiped off some of the blood before he poured a liquid on that made it burn. I
screamed into the duct tape. Minutes passed. He wiped it again.
“You’re gonna get a nasty infection,” he said. “Maybe I still have a senzu bean
lying around here.”
He looked through his dresser for a few minutes and pushed a bean in my mouth,
watching to make sure I ate it. My skin started knitting back together and he
set me on the floor so he could peel off the ruined sheets. None of it had
permeated the mattress. That would’ve been hard to explain.
“I needed to throw these away anyhow. Go take a shower and get back in bed with
Pan.” Gohan was opening another set of sheets. Of course they kept spares. “She
might wake up and worry about where you went off to.”
“Okay,” I said.
Soon I was back in the shower rinsing myself off. The blood swirled around the
drain. There was a lot of it, surprisingly enough. I cleaned under my
fingernails but I still felt dirty when I got out and walked down the hall to
Pan’s bedroom. I’d feel better if I burned my skin off and grafted a new layer
on.
As I was about to climb back into bed my ears picked up voices arguing on the
other end of the house. I really wanted to sleep but one of them sounded like
Goku. He would protect me. I tiptoed out of the room and shuffled as quickly as
I could toward the bedroom. I’d rather go back to Goku’s house than spend
another day with Gohan.
It turned out that I was right. I hid by the side of the door when I saw Goku
holding his son by the collar of his shirt. Gohan was grinning hugely.
“I bet Vegeta felt her energy,” Goku snapped, shaking his son violently.
“You’re a fool. He’s gonna come here and snap you into even more pieces after
I’m done with you.”
Yes. Kill him, Goku.
“Come on, daddy,” Gohan replied icily, “we don’t want to bring her family into
this. Vegeta and Bulma are fast asleep. If they cared any less about her, I
think she’d be living in a box on the sidewalk.” He freed himself from his
father’s grasp, still grinning. “They’re afraid to care.”
“That doesn’t mean you can… attack her to get back at me. I know you hate me
but I’d prefer it if you left Bulla out of this. She’s young and now she’s
going to be really scared.”
“Aren’t they easier to abuse when they’re scared?”
“I don’t abuse her,” Goku said. He sounded firm and looked oddly serious.
“Bulla is perfectly willing. It just takes some talking and convincing to get
her to understand there’s nothing wrong with it.”
“Convincing? Grown women fall in love on their own. What you’re talking about
it called child grooming. You buy them presents; take them out for dinner;
listen to their problems, and one day, slip a threat in to your relationship.”
Gohan laughed and ran a hand through his spiky black hair. “It’s the ultimate
form of brainwashing and you’re too dumb to realize you’re doing it.”
Goku jammed his hands in his pockets as if he was afraid he’d do something bad
with them. “So what does that make you? I do nice things for her. You were
violent and mean. I can smell the blood in the room. It isn’t like her to go
quietly.”
Why didn’t he just kill him? I wanted Gohan gone. I wanted to forget about what
happened. I’d live a hundred more weeks at Goku’s house before I spent another
minute in Gohan’s. He was frustrated and angry; it all culminated in last
night’s violent events. I wondered if he ever treated Videl that way. I never
would’ve pinned Gohan sadistic, but now…
“I didn’t want her. I didn’t drive my wife to suicide to get her.” Gohan walked
to his dresser and I shrank back so he couldn’t see me. There was flash of
light. He was smoking again. “This is your fault. You were so obsessed with
tricking a little girl into letting you grope her that you lost your wife. How
do you live with yourself? How did you wake up in the morning next to Bulla?”
“You would never understand,” Goku said.
Gohan laughed again, exhaling a plume of smoke. “You’re right, I wouldn’t. I’m
married to a woman who I can’t imagine being without. We have a beautiful
daughter that’s the same age as Bulla. And you know, I’ll never understand how
you can want to be with someone that’s… what, 40 years younger than you?”
“She’s sweet. I like talking to her.”
“So the innocence is what you want. Hm. Well, what are you going to do when
Bulma tries to put her away? That’s the next step. She keeps gabbing with Videl
about it. Bulla must be completely unstable by now and you know as well as I do
that she’s been skipping her doctor’s appointments. You’ll never see her again
when she’s living in a home.”
“WHAT?!” I shrieked.
Both men turned to look at the door and I covered my mouth, hoping they
wouldn’t investigate. But Gohan wasn’t willing to let me walk off scot-free. He
held the cigarette between his lips and dragged me inside the bedroom by my
bicep, then shut the door and locked it. Goku was on me in an instant; I
wheezed for air in his tight embrace. I felt a bit safer.
Gohan cleared his throat. “Excuse me, but can we continue our discussion?”
“Bulla, are you okay?” Goku freed me from his arms and knelt down before me,
eyebrows furrowed with concern. He brushed my hair away from my face. “I’m so
sorry; I’ll do whatever it takes to make this up to you. Do you want to go
home? I’ll bring you there—”
“Why is mom getting rid of me?” I demanded, whirling around to face Gohan.
“Oh, look, she speaks. I worried you had a mental breakdown last night. How are
your legs feeling?” The half-Saiyan smirked. “Did you clean the blood?”
Something like a growl reverberated from Goku’s chest. I crossed my arms,
beginning to feel like myself again. There was no reason for me to be afraid of
Gohan if I had his father behind me.
“I’m not going to feel bad about myself. I would never let you get to me like
that. You’re going to tell me why my parents don’t want me coming home and
you’re going to do it right now.” I stood firmly with my feet apart, trying to
look confident.
It was still hard to look him in the eye. He took a drag from his cigarette,
watching me intently, and I considered scurrying from the room to hide. I could
remember him inside me; it was an uncomfortable pain made even worse by my
inability to escape. This wasn’t the Gohan I had known growing up. Chi-Chi
meant even more to him than she did to Goku.
“You certainly do bounce back from traumatic things,” Gohan said. “Your mother
is concerned that you couldn’t remember anything leading up to seeing Chi-Chi’s
death. She’s afraid to confront it with you and a few doctors have suggested
she enroll you in a special sort of school.”
“Special?” Goku echoed.
“I guess I dumbed it down too much for you, dad.” Gohan put the cigarette out
and leaned against the wall casually. “A mental asylum. That’s where Bulla’s
headed in… about a week, I’d imagine.”
“My father is okay with this? Why are they even sending me? I’ve kept quiet and
I haven’t been a nuisance to either of them. Mom shipped me off to Goku’s
before I even had a chance to go home and relax. Is she really that scared of
me?”
Sunlight was trickling in the window above Gohan’s bed. I’d literally been up
all night—maybe I got a few hours of sleep somewhere in between all the
horrible things that happened. I didn’t want to go to a mental hospital. Why
didn’t my parents want me anymore?
Goku was pacing behind me. “Bulma must be joking. There’s nothing wrong with
Bulla.”
I grimaced. There was definitely a few things wrong with me now but he was
right for the most part. I hadn’t done anything to make my parents question my
sanity, had I? There must have been another reason. Maybe it was from something
I’d done a while ago. I knew going to parties was a bad idea.
“Oh, Bulma is very convinced that something is wrong with her daughter. Even
Trunks agrees with them and he doesn’t talk to any of us these days. She
originally wanted Bulla to stay with you, Goku, but how would she get an
education? She still has another year of high school and they can teach her in
the asylum. Videl is pregnant so she can’t stay with us. There’s nowhere for
her to go.”
“I’m not going,” I said. “There’s no way I’ll let them do that.”
“They have custody of you so they can do whatever they want. There are a few
solutions but I don’t think you’ll like any of them.”
“Anything,” Goku said, stopping to face his son.
“First and foremost, you could do the obvious and try to become emancipated
from your parents.” Gohan rubbed his chin, thoughtful. “It’s very hard, though.
Secondly, you could try to get married. Your mother might be okay with that
since it gets you out of her hair. But I bet Vegeta wouldn’t agree. Getting
pregnant could help tie things up, too.”
I shook my head. “None of those sound appealing.”
“You could marry me.” Goku gently touched my arm. “I can protect you.”
Gohan sighed heavily like a disappointed teacher. “Dad, no one is going to let
Bulla get married. Your only other option at this point is to run away. I don’t
mean hiding out at Goku’s house—you need to leave Earth and relocate to another
planet.”
Leave Earth? I hadn’t even considered that. There were a lot of inhabitable
planets in the universe and Goku could use instant transmission to bring me to
any of them. I could live on one for a while until everything settled down and
come back to see if my parents felt differently.
But Earth was my home. Sure it was possible to live somewhere else but none of
them were quite like the floating rock that had seen countless epic battles.
I’d be leaving my friends, too. Shoppa would be mad at me if and when I came
back and fitting in again might be hard.
If I was going to run away, it had to be permanent. There was no turning back;
no triumphant return in a few years. I’d be leaving everything behind.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Goku said. “She doesn’t have to leave. I’m the strongest
being in the universe. She can stay with me and no one will take her anywhere.
If they try to, I’ll break them.”
“And every day you’d have to see the disappointed faces of your friends,” Gohan
replied. “No one will approve of you two being together so why stay here? There
are plenty of nice planets you can live on where nobody will be able to find
you.”
The phone rang from somewhere downstairs and the toilet flushed. It was time to
go back to the real world. Gohan shrugged and left the room to see who was
calling, leaving me alone with Goku. He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed.
My eyes brimmed with tears and I turned around to hug him, promptly crying into
his orange shirt. It wasn’t fair.
I just wanted to go home.
***** 14 *****
Chapter by MalevolentReverie, Ulalume_(MalevolentReverie)
There was no way I’d go down without a fight. Goku knew me very well;
frighteningly well. I was not going to lie down and let my parents throw me out
like yesterday’s trash. I wouldn’t be told what to do and I definitely wouldn’t
flee to another planet. I was Bulla Briefs. I was not an outcast.
We ate breakfast in silence, scattered across the first floor. Gohan was
reading the paper in the kitchen, eyeing his daughter while she watched
cartoons. Goku and I were sitting in the den, staring out the window without
saying a word to one another. He was about to lose me. Everything he had worked
so hard for was slipping between his fingers.
Pan seemed to notice the tension between her father and me. She was afraid to
question it. She must have some inkling from all the screaming I did. Each of
us was in our own world of torture with no escape. We all had problems we were
refusing to confront.
I picked at my scrambled eggs, full of too many emotions to sort. Gohan
violently raped me to get back at his father who was madly in love with me
which had caused his wife to commit suicide. Within that vein, Pan was
involved, forced to listen to Goku rant and rave about how badly he wanted me.
My brain felt stuffed and in turn, so did my stomach. I wanted to sleep with
Gohan but it was sort of like a weird fantasy thing more than anything else. It
upset me and I grew nauseous when I thought of it but I wasn’t sure if… well,
there were more important things to worry about. I could tackle my feelings
later.
Goku smiled. “Y’know, we could leave right now.”
“No. I need to see my parents. I need closure.”
“I guess.” He rubbed the back of his head, confused by my thinking. “What if
they won’t let you go? They might make you stay.”
“No they won’t.”
They would see reason. They would understand and even dad would apologize. I’d
be able to go home by the end of the day, no questions asked.
When I told Gohan I was leaving, he nodded. That was the only response I could
get out of the man who had taken my innocence. My hands clenched into fists and
Goku ripped the newspaper from his son’s grasp, drawing Pan’s attention. Gohan
glared at his father and said, “fine.” Pan shuddered.
The sun was still hanging low in the sky and the air was crisp and cool. Goku
followed me out of course and kissed me passionately before I left. He watched
me fly off with his hands stuffed in his pockets, ultimately turning around to
go back in the house. He still wanted to pummel Gohan.
Both of my parents woke up early in the morning. I landed outside the house and
fixed my ponytail as I headed in, feeling oddly out of place. They didn’t want
me there. It gave me a raw sort of sickness in my stomach to know that my own
parents wanted to get rid of me. I was a nuisance to them.
Mom and dad were both sitting at the table sipping coffee. Dad’s eyes flickered
to me first and one glance at mom made her jump to her feet. She gave me a
forced smile and my father actually put his newspaper down to glare at me like
I was intruding. I suddenly wasn’t sure of what to do with my hands. I began
twiddling my thumbs.
Hi, mom. Hi, dad. Thanks to you, I’ve been molested more times than I care to
remember by various members of the Son family. You know how Videl is pregnant?
Yeah, well, funny story. It turns out I might be carrying my own little half-
Saiyan because Gohan couldn’t bother to cover up while he was raping me last
night. Princess Videl was in another castle, crocheting blankets while her
closeted-sadist husband had his way with me and sweet little Panny slept
peacefully through the ordeal.
Or did she?
I had a feeling that I wasn’t the only one who woke up with fatal wounds on my
soul.
My mother looked rigid. Uncomfortable. “How are you, sweetheart? How are things
going over at Gohan’s house? He called and said everything was fine.”
I blinked. It was hard to keep a poker face when she was blatantly lying to me.
Mom’s smile faded slowly and she began to look worried. Dad leaned forward.
“Is everything okay?” mom asked.
Nothing would come out of my mouth. My lips wouldn’t move to form words. Ice
hardened my blood and I could no longer move. Mom shifted and glanced at dad,
who rose to his feet. My head turned ever so slightly to bring him into my line
of vision. Goku could sense my fear. He’d panic and ruin everything.
“No,” I said, “everything isn’t okay. There are a few things you two haven’t
told me.”
Dad laughed. “We aren’t obligated to tell you anything, Bulla.”
He was caustic and rude as usual.
“You should know not to listen to Goku,” mom said, shooting dad a dirty look.
“He’s been unstable since Chi-Chi died and that’s why we wanted you to go to
Gohan’s instead so—”
“Gohan is even more unstable. Trust me. What I’m curious to know about is why
you’re intending on throwing me in an asylum after my little vacation. Why are
you getting rid of me? Is it because of Chi-Chi? I’m perfectly fine, mother.”
“Hold your tongue,” dad hissed, “or I’ll—”
“If you interrupt me one more time, I’ll have Goku here in a heartbeat to rip
you apart.” I took a step closer to them, emboldened. “Tell me why. I want a
reason.”
Mom started crying. “Bulla… Bulla, Goku is the reason.”
My father’s temper suddenly flared and he punched through the table, breaking
it in half. A few moments of silence passed before I started laughing. Oh god,
what were they accusing poor Goku of now? Hadn’t the man been through enough? I
thought adults admitted their problems.
I covered my eyes. “Really? You know what, let’s just leave him out of this.”
Mom collapsed in a chair, kicking part of the ruined table out of her way. Her
eyes looked vacant. “When you were born, Goku took an instant liking to you.
Your father and I were busy working and raising Trunks so we were more than
happy to let him babysit. Chi-Chi was gone a lot, running errands or chasing
Goten around to make sure he stayed out of trouble.
“Pan was born shortly after and we all lost focus. You were with Goku nearly
every day until you had to start going to school. I still remember…” She
paused, looking up at me sadly. “A boy in your class pushed you down during
recess. Naturally, we told Goku, passing it off as being part of growing up. He
thought it was malicious and cruel. He was angry. He started worrying that
other boys would hurt you.
“You got older and stopped going to Goku’s as frequently, mostly because Videl
wanted Pan to have a playmate. In fifth grade, a teacher caught you kissing a
boy. Goku went into a rage. He came storming over here and demanded to fight
your father for… for the right to you. He said we weren’t good parents and that
he would make sure no one hurt you again. I’m so sorry, Bulla. I’m so sorry.”
I stared at my mother, gradually figuring things out. Goku’s obsession with me
wasn’t new. It’d been in him since the day I was born. He wanted me even then
but he was willing to wait for the right moment. He bullied my parents into
promising me to him like I was a dumb animal.
“Kakarot told us to send you off,” dad said, refusing to look at me. “He wanted
to be the hero, as usual. What a fool. If I wasn’t so damned weak at this age,
I’d have scalped him long ago.”
No. It couldn’t be true. Goku wasn’t like that.
But it all made such perfect sense. After Chi-Chi died, everything could be set
in motion. Had she known about Goku demanding me from my parents? Maybe that
was why she hung herself. It would be a huge burden to bear knowing that your
husband was waiting until the little girl he really wanted was finally matured
and ripe for the picking.
My nausea grew worse the more I turned things over in my head. Chi-Chi died.
Goku could finally worm his way into my life. He didn’t want to take me
outright—that would make me resent him. No, he gained my trust before twisting
the situation to put himself in the spotlight. He was the hero.
“No,” I said. “I’m not going with him. Dad, do something!”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried?” My father had his arms folded angrily. This was a
serious blow to his pride. “Kakarot isn’t exactly a pushover.”
Mom’s lower lip trembled. “Especially when he wants something.”
Looking between my parents’ hopeless faces made me realize that for once in my
life, there was no escape. No wish on the Dragon Balls would resolve anything;
no amount of begging would get me out of trouble. Did I laugh or cry? Could I
do both at the same time?
I felt dizzy. What did this mean? Where would I go?
“He said you can still see us,” mom said, trying to be positive. “You can go to
school and hang out with your friends. When you think about it, the only
difference is where you live.”
Dad roared furiously and leapt to his feet to punch a hole through the wall. He
stood there for a few moments, panting, then spun on his heel and disappeared
in the lab. I slowly sank to the floor. I was melting. I didn’t want to exist
anymore.
My mother began crying again and hid her face in her hands. I wanted to say
something but I wasn’t sure what, so I turned and left the house behind. There
was no point in staying and talking about things we couldn’t change. Goku
always got what he wanted.
I flew for a long time, aimless and cold.
Before I know it, night had fallen and I didn’t know where I was. I landed near
a small pond that reflected the moon on its glassy surface. It was hard to
believe that I spent the whole day flying around. Hunger hit me fast and hard
but I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep anything down. I sat by the edge of the
pond and watched fish swirl in the shallows.
Goku must have been furious that Gohan got to me first. Did Gohan know about
the plan all along? Probably. I bet they all knew, even Pan. They all helped
push me to him like he ordered. I dipped my feet in the freezing water and the
fish swam off. Gohan took away one of the most important parts of me that his
father was after. He’d gotten his revenge.
A breeze rippled the surface of the pond and I heard another heartbeat.
“I wish you didn’t ask so many questions.”
I stared blankly at the lily pads skating across the water. They’d all die
soon. Winter was coming hard and fast this year.
Goku sat beside me. He smelled… burnt. “You shouldn’t put your feet in the
water. It’s cold.”
I shrugged. My toes were turning blue and I couldn’t wriggle them. The fish
were coming back curiously, taking tiny nibbles to see if I was edible.
We sat in silence for a while. It was obvious that I knew the truth so Goku
didn’t try broaching the subject. But his worry over my feet grew and he
reached down to pull them out of the water, turning me so he could wrap his big
hands around my toes. It was like being in front of a fire. I kept my eyes on
the grass, wishing that I could hurl myself into the pond and freeze.
“I’ll take good care of you,” Goku said.
My head hurt. Damn, I needed to eat something.
“I wanted to last time but you wouldn’t let me. But now I made it better so
your parents will let me have you instead of fighting me over it.” He rubbed my
feet slowly, smiling to himself. “I had you first. Gohan doesn’t understand.
None of them do.”
“If everyone knew, why did you want me to keep it a secret?”
“I thought it’d be better if you were in the dark. I didn’t want you to hate
me.” Goku cocked his head sadly. “You hate me, don’t you?”
No point in lying. “Yes.”
“You wished for all of this to go away before but I loved you so much that it
followed me all the way here. I couldn’t remember at first but then I saw you
and it all came back. I will never stop loving you no matter how many times you
try to make me.”
It was too late in the day to question what he actually meant. Besides, I had
the rest of my natural born life to do that. If I was lucky, I’d die young.
Goku touched my chin with his fingertip and tilted my head upwards so he could
look into my eyes. His were sparkling with excitement but I had a feeling mine
looked less enthused. He was huge. I still couldn’t comprehend it.
There were a lot of things about him I’d never understand; strange
idiosyncrasies that ended up driving Chi-Chi to suicide. Obsessions. The desire
to covertly conquer and control his friends and family. The pained loneliness
in his eyes was hard to look at. No, I’d never understand something like that.
A soft kiss on the lips made my heart bleed. How could someone so gentle be so
conniving and selfish? How could he take me away from my parents? How could he
decide something like that when I was just a little kid and some stupid boy
upset me?
“Let’s go home,” Goku whispered.
Home. That word was meaningless to me.
He scooped me up in his arms and we were flying, flying, flying…
Home.
I drifted off to sleep against his warm chest.
We were going home.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!