Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2675447.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Big_Hero_6_(2014)
  Relationship:
      Hiro_Hamada/Original_Male_Character(s), Hiro_Hamada/Tadashi_Hamada
  Character:
      Hiro_Hamada, Original_Male_Character(s), Tadashi_Hamada, Aunt_Cass, Mochi
      -_Character
  Additional Tags:
      Alive!Tadashi, Alternate_Universe, where_Tadashi_survives_the_fire_but
      Callaghan_dies, rape/noncon, Forced_Orgasm, very_dark, later_Hidashi,
      Incest, I'm_going_to_hell_for_writing_this, Rape_Recovery, Hurt/Comfort,
      probably_unrealistic, kinda_mentally_unstable_Tadashi?, Probably_ooc,
      Over_Protective_Tadashi, Mental_Instability, Post-Traumatic_Stress
      Disorder_-_PTSD, Revenge
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-11-26 Completed: 2016-11-03 Chapters: 7/7 Words: 32288
****** A Step in the Wrong Direction ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     Alternate universe where Callaghan dies in the fire, and Tadashi does
     not. Hiro still gets into university but bot fighting ends up being
     something he still continues to do every once and a while, much to
     Tadashi's disliking.
     One night Hiro finds himself in some serious trouble when he takes
     down the wrong guy in a competition.
     Warning for Rape/Non-con.
Notes
     I'm going to hell for this.
     I am so sorry Hiro.
***** Pride Can Falter *****
Hiro failed to hide the smile that played on his lips as he watched Megabot
destroy its opponent, metal and shrapnel flying over the playing field. Within
seconds he had found the other robots weak points, navigating across the ring
with ease and bringing the battle to an abrupt and unexpected end. No one
missed the way his face lit up in victory as he delivered the final blow in a
mash of buttons.
The other contestant stared in shock, mouth falling open as he watched his
robot destroyed before his eyes. Undefeated until this moment, his pride seemed
to crumble with his robots collapsing form as he gawked down at the heap of
junk that was once the source of his illegal income. Those who were in the
audience all stared in quiet disbelief, and most began to pack up as soon as
the bids were sorted out, the youngest Hamada practically gleaming as he
collected his earnings from the pan that was hesitantly held in his direction
by a young woman. She eyed him incredulously.
Although he had been attending university for several months now, there was
still a part of him that thrived to make the odd fight – though much to
Tadashi's discontent. Since the night of the fire; the same night they both
could have died (and Callaghan did,) Tadashi has been so much more protective
over his younger brother than Hiro cared to admit. It was like Tadashi had
realized how closely they had almost been torn apart that night, and it scared
him. Really it scared them both. But that didn't mean Hiro wanted to listen to
the new rules his brother had set down. No, instead Hiro had gone and disobeyed
his brother once again.
Tonight he had made sure to remove any tracking devices in his shoes and
clothing before sneaking out. He had figured out his older brother’s little
trick not too long after Tadashi had started showing up to almost every bot
fight Hiro attended, and so he now checked for them regularly. After all the
last thing he enjoyed was having to face the embarrassment of being dragged out
of a battle, even if Tadashi had saved his hide on more than one occasion
.
Pocketing his newly acquired cash Hiro stood, leaning over to grab Megabot, but
when he looked up his smile faltered as he noticed the man across the ring
still sitting on crossed legs. He watched dark eyes flick his direction,
emotions switching just as fast from crushed defeat to hot anger.
Like every other presumptuous patron Hiro has taken down in the past, this one
had been no different. Always overconfident at the start, he never failed to
damage their egos each and every time. As a result some would lash out,
resorting to violence and taking out their incompetence on Hiro. On more than a
few occasions he had come home with black eyes, bruises and welts painting his
body from being used as a punching bag. Then having to come up with excuses to
a fretting Aunt Cass was almost always just as bad.
He froze in place as the man stood, gulping as he realized this man had almost
two feet on him. He had realized before the match that this man had a stronger
build, but suddenly Hiro found him slightly more daunting when standing to his
full height. Under dark brown hair with the sides shaved in sharp designs, were
piercingly dark eyes that scanned over Hiro menacingly. Saying he felt
intimidated as the man flexed his neck and heavily tattooed arms was a little
more than an understatement. He had an aura about him that told Hiro he was in
trouble, and that alone was enough to make him begin looking for an exit as he
readied to bolt.
Taking a couple steps across the ring, the guy approached Hiro, stepping over
the mess of parts on the ground as he moved. Hiro knew he probably didn't do
well to hide the fear on his face, and quickly he tried to save himself,
speaking up.
"Listen," he started putting his hands up as if it would help, "I don't want
any trouble. I–" The warped grin that slipped across the man's face completely
threw Hiro off guard as he stuttered and let the last word die on his lips. A
hand was suddenly being offered in front of him as the man seemed to relax a
little, leaning on one leg more than the other as he looked over the boy before
him. There was still something unreadable in his eyes that made Hiro uncertain,
and he looked at the outstretched hand with question.
"Hey, you won," he shrugged, deep voice echoing around the restricting walls
encircling the ring, "That was a good fight."
Hiro glanced between the hand and who was attached to it a few times before
warily deciding to take it with a mumbled "thanks". A strong grip matched his
appearance and Hiro almost cringed at the pressure that was applied with the
shake. At the same time Hiro took a second to notice the ink that coated his
arm – some sort of lizard, maybe a dragon – curling over his forearm twice
before wrapping up and around his bicep. The thing appeared to almost breathe
with the movement of the hand shake.
When Hiro went to pull out of the crushing grip, the man didn’t do the same.
Instead he pulled Hiro next to him as he slung an arm across the young boy’s
shoulders. Hiro squeaked as he collided into the larger male’s side, nearly
dropping his bot from the surprise of the unanticipated and very unnecessary
action. But before he could even object the man was talking over him, shouting
through the dissipating crowd of people and gesturing to someone.
"Let's celebrate this boy’s lucky victory with some drinks, yeah?" he
announced, giving Hiro a rough shake. He looked down at the boy just as Hiro
was about to attempt removing the unwanted arm wrapped around him. The guy
either didn't notice or didn't care as he laughed adding "You can drink with
us. It'll be fun."
"Not old enough," Hiro stated quickly, as he tried again to push away with no
avail. An overwhelming feeling of dread suddenly overcame him as he figured the
guy might have no intention of letting go.
"The law doesn't exactly apply in these parts," the man chuckled deeply before
leading Hiro from the open space of the ring, forcing him forward on his feet
and away from any public onlookers. As he was practically dragged away, the
panic that lit in Hiro’s chest came just as quickly as the motion and he had
almost no time to process what was going on before he was being directed down
an unwelcoming looking alley. He went to shout out, but a hand covered his
mouth.
With adrenaline pumping through his body, Hiro did the first thing he thought
of. Acting on impulse he bit down hard. This rewarded him with a loud yelp from
the man as well as his release. He didn’t dare miss the opportunity to scramble
away, sprinting back in the direction of the battle arena and only hoping
someone up there might actually help him.
He never would find out though as he was stopped in his tracks by two figures
that came out of what seemed like thin air, ruining Hiro’s escape plan. Before
he could even react, one of the road blocks had ripped Megabot out of Hiro’s
grasp and tossed it in the nearest dumpster, lid slamming closed loudly on
impact.
"We heard 'bout what that thing did to Yama," one of the burly men spoke up,
eyeing the dumpster in disgust before spitting on the pavement, "Can't believe
ya actually had the nerve to drag it 'ere." As Hiro was about to turn and run
in another direction, an arm snaked around his throat, ending his moment of
freedom. He choked as he was pulled backwards into something solid. A body, he
quickly recognized as he felt the heaving fall and rise of a chest against the
back of his head.
"That wasn't very nice," he heard a familiar deep voice rasp behind his ear.
Hiro's own hands came up to try and remove the tattooed arm, but unsuccessful
he managed to only hold on with what strength he could find.
"I–Ah!" Hiro tried to speak, but was cut off as the pressure around his neck
tightened, making it very difficult to breath.
The two hulking men ahead of Hiro (henchmen, he decided) started walking
towards him, and he realized these were probably the people the man currently
almost strangling him had signaled earlier. As they walked forward Hiro noted
that they never actually did get closer, and it took him a moment to realize he
was being pulled backwards – they were just following.
"You fucked up kid."
Hiro tried to reply to the voice behind him, but anything he tried to say came
out as a stifled gasp. In desperation Hiro started twisting and kicking but
struggling only seemed to tire him out – not a good addition on top of already
having issues getting air to his lungs. It didn't take long before his vision
started to blur and darken, his head growing heavy as he watched everything go
in and out of focus.
Hiro wasn't sure how much time had passed before the smothering arm slipped
away, letting him fall to the ground. He landed hard on his hands and knees
coughing and retching as his throat readjusted to the missing tension. Only
when he finally began to calm down did a heavy boot meet with his stomach
causing him to flip on his back with a cry of surprise and pain as he started
coughing all over again.
Wincing he forced his eyes to focus, scanning his surroundings.
He found he was still outside, specifically in an alleyway, though not the same
one as before. This one appeared to be narrower and had less lighting than the
previous one, making shadows bend and cover every wall and trash bin. When he
listened he found he could no longer hear the busy conversation of bot fight
attendees that usually surrounded the rings, and even the sound of traffic was
fairly distant. Wherever he was, it was somewhere they definitely didn't want
to be disturbed.
Speaking of which,Hiro wondered where they had disappeared to as he sat up, and
looking over his shoulder he saw two shaded figures standing at the mouth of
the alley some distance away. From what he could tell it was the two road
blocks from earlier. Both their backs were turned in his direction as they
spoke in quiet conversation, once and a while the other erupting in laughter.
Hiro searched for the third one, but didn't see him, and frankly he didn't
care. So long as these two were distracted, he could probably slip away without
them taking notice. Rising on shaking legs, Hiro stood feeling more weak than
ever as he took a couple steps forward, nearly stumbling.
The cracking sound of a can being opened made him jump and he turned around to
see a figure step out of the shadows, drink in hand. His dark appearance set
Hiro on edge, and suddenly all he could think of was how much this guy
resembled one of Fred's scary looking comic book villains. The man started
walking towards him, eyes fixated on the boy before him; the gleam Hiro caught
in his eye was hard to miss as they trailed over his much smaller body. Stuck
in place Hiro watched in trepidation as the man drew nearer and nearer. Just
the way he approached Hiro was enough to make him shudder.
"Drink?" he extended the can, which Hiro noticed the label to be from a popular
beer here in San Fransokyo. Where he had gotten the drink, Hiro had no clue.
Maybe one of his goons had brought it for him while he had been writhing on the
ground. Either way, he didn't care. Remembering the mistake he made when he
shook his hand, Hiro didn't move or say a word, and instead stared at it as
though he had just been offered a glass of bleach.
The man laughed at Hiro's rejection before shrugging and taking a swig from the
can himself. Meanwhile Hiro scanned the dim alley for any sign of an exit, only
to find out much to his dismay it came to a very dark dead end. If he wanted to
get out, his only option was to slip past the two guards at the entrance of the
alley.
Or fly,
 Hiro thought as he looked up hopeful. He scanned the brick walls to see if
there were any ladders or a balcony low enough to get to, but found none. In
fact, there weren't even any windows, meaning calling for help was probably
pointless. Looking back down, he found to his unease that the man had moved
closer. With barely two feet between them now, Hiro felt a knot twist in his
stomach that managed to pain the bruise already formed from being kicked. In a
fight of flight response, he chose to flee, turning on his heel and prayinghe
could just get past those two brutes and out of harms way. He barely made it
two steps before he was being grabbed by the collar of his shirt and pulled
backwards, strength that was no comparison to his own shoving him loudly
against the side of one of the dumpsters. He gasped at the collision, a hand
suddenly wrapping itself around his throat to hold him in place. Hiro's own
hands responded by grabbing onto his attackers wrist as he stared up into dark,
hungry looking eyes.
"I don't think so," the man growled, beer still miraculously being held in his
other hand, "Not after what you did to my bot, Hiro."
Hiro's eyes widened at his name. "H–How do you–” he rasped out, but was cut off
by the man's guttural laugh.
"Who doesn't know you?" he asked, "You're known for what you've conned from
people, are you not? The bottom line is you're no better than a thief. Do you
know how many people want to see you dead?"
Sure, Hiro knew he had a bad rep around the ring. Those who recognized him knew
well to stay away, and those who didn't soon learned a quick lesson after a
match. Then there were those who were so cocky they believed they could win no
matter what. But people who actually wanted him dead? He never realized he was
quite that infamous. No less, if this man knew who he was and what he did, why
did he still choose to fight him?
"I thought I could take you," question answered, "but I guess it's pretty hard
to defeat a cheat."
"But I–I didn't cheat!" Hiro managed. This was just a man who couldn't deal
with the reality of losing.
He seemed to contemplate this for a second and Hiro was hopeful as he thought
the guy might actually listen to reason. But a coy smile curled across his
face, and all that hope quickly disappeared.
"Doesn't matter," he said, "You still need to be put in your place."
With that Hiro’s throat was released as he was lifted away from the dumpster
and pushed against the wall next to it, his back landing painfully hard against
the brick. At the same time the man downed what was left of his drink, throwing
the quickly emptied can into one of the dark corners and out of sight. Hiro
waited for the pain of the first punch, the first kick, everything he was so
used to receiving from other sore losers; one's that only wanted to see him
beaten to a pulp. But it never came and instead he felt something else.
What happened next threw him completely off guard as the man leaned down,
encasing his lips around Hiro's neck. He stood in shock and confusion at first,
and as the guy started pulling at Hiro's hoodie and clothes, the realization of
this man's intention hit him full force.
He panicked, immediately lifting his hands to push the guy away - to get him
off, but he didn't budge. It felt like he was trying to push off a boulder and
not an actual person. Completely terrified, Hiro tried to move himself away,
but the hands that wrapped around his waist ensured he stayed put.
"No, stop...!" Hiro whined, a hand suddenly finding its way up his shirt. He
went to fight then, fist coming up for a punch, but it was somehow caught mid
swing, as though the man had expected it. Both his hands were grabbed and
restrained then, the man pulling back for a brief second. Holding Hiro's skinny
wrists in one hand, he then used his other as he dug through one of his own
pockets.
Hiro's eye's dilated in fear as a knife was suddenly being flaunted in front of
him.
"You know what this is, Hiro?" the man asked, sounding almost agitated that he
even had to bring it out. Hiro didn't respond as tears started to silently pour
down his cheeks. "This is what I hopefully won't have to use, so long as you do
what I say. Try to cause problems, and..." he made a jerking motion with the
blade right next to Hiro's face, causing the young boy to flinch, "Got it?"
Hiro nodded his head vigorously, eyes pinched closed as he unwillingly
complied.
"Good boy."
Hiro didn't struggle this time as those hands were forced back on him, keeping
his eyes tightly shut as his sweater was removed and dropped to the ground.
Then those same disgusting lips were back at his skin, sucking and biting and
undoubtedly leaving very visible marks. Hiro turned his head away as they
landed on his mouth next, but a hand forcibly grabbed his jaw and turned it
back, his own lips then being pressed against his attackers. A stray hand
roamed back under his shirt, grabbing and feeling whatever it could find, and
when he felt one of his nipples pinched painfully hard, Hiro cried out,
recoiling.
The man only laughed.
"The fun's just getting started," Hiro heard breathed against his ear. He
failed to hold back a sob as he was suddenly flipped over, almost as easily as
turning the page of a book, and Hiro raised his hands in reaction, pressing
them flat on the wall as his body was pushed flush against it. Again those lips
were back, tainting his neck and shoulders as the collar of his t-shirt was
tugged and pulled down to gain better access. Apparently it wasn't good enough
though because in the next second Hiro's shirt was being pulled off over his
head, those rough fingers now free to touch his upper body without the
restriction of fabric, and lips now having the liberty to trail across his
shoulders and down his spine with ease.
When a hand was suddenly forced down the front of his pants, Hiro cried out in
objection. This didn't so much as make the man falter as he continued to slide
down inside Hiro's boxers, wrapping fingers around the boy's cock.
"N–No! Please, stop!" Hiro pleaded as he felt the hand press around him
uncomfortably. Much to his horror he actually felt himself reacting to the
touch, and in a state of loathing and embarrassment inwardly cursed his growing
body's out of control hormones. The man sneered as he felt the teen tremble
below him, the boy's semi hard prick radiating in his palm. With a subtle pump
he felt the smaller body shudder, and he reveled in the reaction.
"I think you're enjoying this..." he observed, scanning every twitch in Hiro's
thin back and watching as the boy shook his head.
"No..." Hiro said in an almost whisper, obviously worn, "Please, just–Ah!"
Another jerk from the man's wrist left Hiro crying out, another plea escaping
his dry throat as the action was continued. Hiro felt it hurt more than brought
pleasure yet his body had seemingly abandoned his conscious, his dick reacting
to every stroke much against his wishes. It wasn't long before his voice
disobeyed him as well and he soon found himself panting and moaning in time
with the action; the discomfort that his now full erection was somehow enjoying
quickly becoming no problem for the rest of his traitorous body.
Sweaty and disoriented Hiro regretfully came with one last wail as a cloud of
mild relief washed over him. Winded, he struggled to keep standing as the man
removed his hand, wiping off the mess on Hiro's own shorts.
He hoped that was it, but he also knew better; even considering getting out of
this so soon was more than redundant.
As his own cargo shorts were pushed down to his thighs, Hiro paled, and any
hope he had was quickly washed away. His boxers followed suit, and the air that
hit his naked ass was almost as bad as the hands that grabbed it. He couldn't
control the sob that racked his entire body, and despite knowing the
uselessness of doing so, he still begged. He pleaded as a hand, slicked up with
what he guessed was saliva, squeezed between his ass cheeks, and prodded at his
entrance. He cried as the first finger slipped inside him, and then another
beside it, uncomfortably stretching him out. He knew that nothing he said or
did would make this man quit, and he hated him for it.
Agonizingly Hiro felt the fingers slide in and out of him, and he naturally
tried to draw away from the feeling. But a hand grabbing his shoulder ensured
he stayed in place and suffered through every second of it.
He almost sighed in relief when they were finally removed, but caught his
breath as he felt something new rubbing against his ass. He heard the man spit
into his hand then, lathering up his own length no doubt, and Hiro held his
breath praying it would just be over soon.
As the man pushed himself inside, Hiro screamed, his voice echoing down the
entirety of the alley. Desperately he tried to pull away; do anything that
would help ease the sudden pain, but there was nowhere to go and nothing he
could do but endure it. The man groaned ignoring all Hiro's protests as he
forced himself forward, every inch that Hiro felt bury deeper and deeper he
could only compare to being ripped in half. The fingers that were in him prior
seemed like nothing when compared.
He was given no time to adjust to this new aching stretch before the man was in
motion. With the first unexpected thrust Hiro cried out, the force almost
enough to send him landing face first into the wall. Every movement; every
thrust after, was pure agony. The wave of nausea that overcame him then was
accompanied by frustration and humiliation as he took into account what was
being done to him and at the same moment what was being taken from him. Though
the emotions that surfaced didn’t live long before they were replaced by new,
more heated ones, or sometimes simply tuned out entirely in favor of ignoring
the reality of the situation.
Hiro heard the man's heavy breathing as he panted over his shoulder, hot breath
hanging sickly to his ear. The continuous rhythm of skin slapping skin could be
heard throughout the alley followed by pained cries and common protests from
Hiro. But it didn't take long before he stopped begging all together, the tears
drying up on his cheeks as he seemed to almost accept his fate. Feeling his
legs give in Hiro would have fallen to the ground had the man not been grabbing
his hips the entire time, managing to keep him upright with little effort. The
aching sensation in his ass had changed over to a warm throb, leaving Hiro with
only the continuous numbing friction from what was currently sheathed inside
him. While the man drew nearer to his climax, Hiro let his forehead fall
against the wall as he was fucked mercilessly into the brick. The grim look
that covered his face was enough to tell anyone just how depleted he really
was. He grimaced when felt the splash of heat spill inside him, feeling his own
body tremble and the one above him quake as his assailant finally came.
When he eventually pulled out, Hiro couldn't help but notice how he was left
gaping open, empty and used. As the hands that were holding him up slipped
away, he welcomed the gravity that took him over as his legs gave out, sliding
down the wall until eventually coming to rest on his knees which ground
painfully into the cement floor. Eyes unseeing, he stared through the wall
mortified and in complete disbelief of what he just experienced.
Hearing the man do up the zipper to his pants, Hiro didn't dare make a move to
do the same, partially out of fear but mostly out of still trying to recover
from the realization that he was just raped. He inhaled sharply when he felt
the man move to his level, pressing the knife square under his jugular.
This was finally it; he was going to die right here in this rotten alley. No
one would know what happened, Hiro figured. Not Aunt Cass, not Tadashi. At
least not until they found his abused and decomposing corpse in one of these
dumpsters, already so far gone that it can barely be identified. The cruel
thought jumped and played out through his head. He didn't bother to object as
the blade pushed harder against his flesh, coming to accept that he was
probably nearing his last few moments of life.
As instantly as the blade had appeared, it was suddenly being taken away and
Hiro was roughly shoved off to the side. He landed harshly on his back and
winced at the pain that erupted up his backside. When he looked up the first
thing he saw was his sweater being picked off the ground, the man rummaging
through the pockets before pulling out the money Hiro had won earlier and
stuffing it into his own. He then turned throwing the sweater at Hiro, the
thing comically fanning out and covering his naked and abused skin. Hiro wasn't
sure if the man did this because he didn't want to look at his handy work or
because he just wanted Hiro to get dressed. Either reason, it ended up hiding
evidence.
Hiro glared up at him, saw he still had the knife and braced himself, ready for
it to come slashing down at any second. But it never did.
Instead the man smirked, shaking the blade in Hiro's direction as if scolding
him.
"You tell a soul; cops or anyone else, and I'll find you," he bent down again,
rocking slightly on his toes as he squatted, seeming to contemplate something
at the same time, "You have a sister? A brother?" He smiled at Hiro's reaction
to the question, the boy’s face shadowing in horror in a silent confirmation
that yes, he did have a brother. The way Hiro's face dropped alone at the
mention was enough of a hint that he could use that to his advantage. "You
tell, and I'll kill not just you, but him too," he almost laughed at how the
boy reacted to the statement and thought to add a little cherry on top for good
measure, "Maybe even give him a taste of what you just had, before I slit his
throat."
Anger rose in the pit of Hiro's stomach with the thought of this vile man doing
the same to Tadashi.
"If you so much as touch him..." he boldly warned, though it was merely an
empty threat and the man knew it as he chuckled at the response.
"You seem to forget who has the knife, Hiro," he said making the boy shrink
back into the cement as he twirled the blade over his fingers, "But if you keep
your mouth shut, no one will have a problem. Right?" Hiro didn't even have tor
eply for the man to know he had won, and standing up he folded and pocketed the
knife, stepping back and taking one last look at the mess of a boy in front of
him. As he scanned over his work, he couldn't help but feel slightly
victorious, the anger from the destruction of his own bot now washed away.
"Thanks for the fuck, Hiro," he said amused at the revulsion that twisted the
boy’s face. With the sweet taste of revenge still fresh on his tongue, he felt
fairly pleased when he realized the boy probably wouldn't be back for a bot
fight anytime soon.
Hiro watched as the man turned away then, walking around the dumpster and
towards the mouth of the alley. The two goons at the entrance appeared to be
unfazed and only turned for what Hiro guessed was the first time when they were
approached by their leader. None of them looked back as they walked off
together, disappearing from sight around the dark corner.
Hiro sat there for what seemed like an eternity, just waiting for the man to
change his mind and come sprinting back around the corner to finish him off –
or worse for another round. But after what seemed like at least twenty minutes
with no return, Hiro finally accepted it was over and let everything wash over
him. The tears that stung his eyes then came from relief first, grateful to be
done with the ordeal. Though that feeling was short lived as the horror of what
he just went through took its place, causing the tears to spill over.
Rolling onto his side Hiro drew his knees up to his chest as he wept into the
cold cement. He had been used and discarded, left here like a piece of unwanted
trash, and right now he couldn't help but feel just as worthless. He couldn't
bring himself to care that he was still mostly naked, the sweater blanketing
him the only thing attempting to keep him decent. His body shivered from the
cold and the tears that shook with every breath he took. Completely and utterly
exhausted, it didn't take him long before he passed out where he lay, the
darkness that consumed him almost comforting.
***** Greed's Aftermath *****
Chapter Notes
     So I just want to start by giving a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who
     left a comment and kudos and overall just the amazing support! I
     really was not expecting that, but I appreciate all the praise and
     only hope I can satisfy just as much in the future!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Where are you, Hiro?
Tadashi stood at the edge of what he concluded was a battle arena as his eyes
scanned searchingly over the opening before him. Deserted metal carcasses of
what were most likely once battle bots could be seen blending with the trash
covering the area, scattered and abandoned similarly. Not many people were
around, but those who were stood to the side and off against the walls, nearly
out of Tadashi’s sight. Some appeared to be counting out money - probably what
they had won from gambling at any battles that took place here.
Tadashi’s brows crossed in agitation, his frustration growing when he didn't
see his brother amongst the stragglers and feeling immensely out of place he
shifted awkwardly before taking out his phone, worried he wasn’t in the right
spot. There was always the possibility he had read the coordinates wrong, after
all…
He almost groaned as he viewed the screen. This was the right location.
He looked up examining the venue again, glancing over all the evidence left of
the tournament. The heaps of discarded metal alone provided enough of a sign
that Hiro had been here: chunks of debris scattered, twisted and bent in such a
way that was only known to be from his brother’s own robot.
What had he named that thing? MegaBot?
Cautiously wandering into the opening, Tadashi kept a careful eye on his phone
as he followed the small blinking map. With no regrets, he can say he’s still
fairly pleased with the customized GPS installment, considering it took him
less than a night to make. Although invasive, and to an extent cruel, he had
decided it was a necessary upgrade when he cooked up the idea only about a
month ago (just after he had found out Hiro had started attending these god
awful competitions.) His opinion of it is the same as it was then, and
unfortunately so is Hiro’s.
Of course it hadn't taken long before Hiro had found out, frequently ensuring
to remove them. But never discouraged, Tadashi would simply find new and more
creative ways to hide them just as often, and much to his little brother’s
irritation. The signal he was receiving tonight was coming from the tracking
chip he had installed in MegaBot.
Barely half way into the opening, Tadashi came to a stop, suddenly
transitioning his focus to the ground as he seemed to take notice of white
chalk marks sketched into the pavement. Studying the lines, he quickly
discovered it shaped into a very big circle and he frowned as he realized he
was standing in the center of a fight ring. Taking a step backwards he jumped
when he felt his back collide into someone.
"Sorry," the college student turned quickly apologizing, wanting not to offend
the wrong person; especially not around here. He stepped back at least a few
feet to gain some distance between them (just in case) and couldn’t help but
notice the prominent tattoo of a dragon on guy’s right arm while doing so.
He wasn’t sure if it was the spiteful look the man carried about him or maybe
just the setting he was in – it might have been the cold – but something made
Tadashi shiver.
The man didn't say anything and walked past with a look of indifference, barely
noticing who had run into him. This surprised Tadashi as he was expecting at
least a reaction, and he let out a relieved breath as he watched him go, two
other unknown men trailing close behind and each looking equally as dangerous.
He rocked on his heels slightly, distracting himself briefly before remembering
exactly what he was here for. With a shake of his head he threw the encounter
aside and looked back to his phone, continuing to follow the little arrow.
Navigating across the makeshift ring it wasn’t long before he found himself
entering the opening of another alley way. He halted when he picked up on an
unknown noise.
Drawing his attention forward Tadashi found there were no people in this area –
not a single person to make a sound, and yet he heard a faint metallic clanging
echo from somewhere in the depths of the alley. He walked along, senses
suddenly on full alert as he listened to the noise grow louder, and it wasn’t
long before he was able to pin point the origin.
Off against a wall one of the dumpsters was rattling slightly as a continuous
uneven bang could be heard from within.
Tadashi approached it cautiously, eyes widening as they darted down to the GPS.
The realization that the dumpster was where the signal was coming from made his
head spin with theories, some of which made his stomach flip.
Eyes slanting he kept them locked on the metal bin as he pocketed his phone,
hesitating before stepping towards it. The falter in his step was not hidden
and placing both hands on the lid he paused briefly as he braced himself,
scanning over the dumpster with uncertainty.
He held his breath when he flipped the lid up and reeled back as something shot
out towards him, so fast it was just a blur. Somehow managing to keep his
footing as the speeding object grazed past his head, Tadashi raised his arms on
instinct to shield against a possible attack. Though the object never came
towards him a second time and instead spun over the dumpster, clambering up to
the highest point before abruptly coming to a stop.
Tadashi released the breath he had forgotten he was holding as he realized it
was just Hiro's battle bot.
The small robot wore an angry looking red face as it seemed to almost stare
Tadashi down, before switching to a yellow, less threatening one. He watched
the thing for a moment before looking through the alley for any sign of his
brother.
If the bot was here, then where was Hiro?
A sudden shift in MegaBot interrupted his concern and caused Tadashi to
redirect his attention back towards the machine as he caught its face
transition over to red once more. A small feeling of alarm popped in Tadashi's
mind as he prepared himself to be attacked by it.
The robot didn't advance anywhere near him though, and as suddenly as it had
flew out of the dumpster, MegaBot was moving again. He watched in silent
curiosity as the small machine rolled off the bin, shooting down the opposite
way Tadashi had originally come from.
Looking on in confusion he collected himself quickly and ran after the robots
shrinking figure doing his best to keep up as it sped down and around one
corner after another. There were a few times he was almost certain he had lost
sight of the bot, but to his relief he always managed to extraordinarily catch
up each time.
MegaBot turned around one final bend, Tadashi not far behind as he saw the
robot decelerate to a slow crawl. He did the same until he stopped completely,
letting his body slouch in exhaustion. His hands met his thighs as he bent
over, panting and heavily breathing in the sweet air his lungs suddenly
couldn't seem to get enough of.
Tadashi didn’t take long to recover and in moments he was standing back
upright, removing his hat to wipe the sweat that had formed on his brow as he
watched the robot roll forward, deeper into an alley that appeared to have a
dead end. He squinted through the dimly lit archway trying to see where the
robot was going and just barely made out the tiny machines shape as it moved up
to the edge of one of the dumpsters. He watched it swivel slightly before
running into something on the pavement, clumsily falling over.
It took Tadashi a couple seconds before he figured out that what MegaBot fell
over had been a body.
“Hiro?”
His eyes grew wide and he let his hat slip from his hand, the cap falling and
landing soundlessly against the cement as he broke into a sprint. His mind
raced and dread overcame his entire being as he quickly sunk to his knees
beside the unmoving form.
Below him, curled into a ball on his side, Hiro lay motionless. Tadashi
couldn't help but fear the worst, but when he saw the slight rise and fall
created by his brother’s shallow breaths he managed to relax a little motioning
to reach out. All he wanted to do at that moment was to pull his baby brother
into his arms, but mid reach he faltered, hands fluttering over Hiro's limp
body as he took notice of the boys state.
Tadashi bit the inside of his cheek as he actually really looked over Hiro,
taking into consideration that his brother was hurt. He was very pale, and
Tadashi quickly realized too much of Hiro's skin was showing, what he could see
littered with bruises and other unsavory marks. Eyeing the sweater draped over
his brother almost accusingly he ultimately gained the courage to lift it up.
Tadashi cursed, stomach twisting in rage as he saw the damage done. Allowing
the cloth fall back down he found himself suddenly suppressing tears as he
wrapped his arms across his brother, carefully scooping his unconscious form
into his lap.
He rocked slightly as he let a hand brush over Hiro's cheek in a silent
apology, before combing through the boys messy hair, a gesture that ended up
being more of a comfort to himself than Hiro at the moment. As he noticed the
dried tear stains coating Hiro's face, Tadashi found he couldn't hold back his
own anymore, and he gave in, crying for his brother.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I should have been here…”
He couldn't help but feel guilty. This was his fault. He should have been
watching Hiro more closely; should have noticed his brother’s absence earlier –
found him before this could have happened...
But another part of him radiated in fury as he wondered who did this; why they
would do this. He found his teeth grinding together just at the thought of the
sick bastard and he had to fight the urge to clench his fists because that
would require letting go of Hiro, and he couldn’t do that. He would never again
let his brother out of his sight.
Right now he couldn't help but feel like the worst brother in the world;
letting something as terrible as this befall Hiro. As tears fell from his
cheeks he looked at his little brother, regretting that he couldn't take back
what was done.
But no matter what he knew he was going to be there for Hiro and they were
going to get through this, together. Tadashi leaned down briefly pressing a
chaste kiss to his forehead in an unvoiced promise. He would fix this and
everything was going to be okay.
When he felt Hiro shift below him, Tadashi hastily moved to wipe away his tears
with the back of his hand, knowing he had to stay strong for his baby brother.
As Hiro looked up, once bright and lively eyes now glazed over, Tadashi
couldn't help the way his heart clenched in his chest. Although Hiro was
looking right at Tadashi, he didn't seem to actually see him at first, and he
whimpered at the feeling of the arms embracing him.
"Shh, it's okay Hiro, it's only me," Tadashi whispered as he lightly cradled
the smaller boy, giving him a gentle reassuring squeeze, "You're going to be
okay."
But was he? Were either of them okay?
Hiro was silent for a moment, then a look of relief and sorrow seemed to curl
over his face simultaneously.
"Tadashi?" tears welled up in his eyes, "Tadashi, I–I couldn't stop him.
He–He..."
Tadashi felt his distress and frowned at each sob that chopped up Hiro's
sentence. Pulling his younger sibling to his chest he hushed him, running a
hand through the mess of black hair soothingly. Hiro let his head fall into
Tadashi's shirt as he let the tears fall freely, finding some comfort in his
brothers smell that reminded him so much of home.
“I know, it’s okay,” Tadashi tried to keep his voice even, saying the only
thing that seemed to come to mind, “Everything’s going to be all right.” At the
moment the words sounded almost like a lie, and he repeated them as if the
overuse would magically make it true.
They stayed that way for what seemed like hours, Tadashi consoling his brother
with reassuring murmurs and tenderness that came naturally with the older
Hamada. He rocked slowly while Hiro cried, quickly feeling a slight damp spot
in his shirt where tears met fabric as he held his brother close.
Eventually Hiro calmed down, body now only moving from the rocking and his
trembling muscles. When Tadashi felt the younger boy shiver, he pulled back
causing Hiro to start a little as he watched his older brother remove his own
coat, then proceeding to pull it over Hiro's shoulders.
Hiro almost sighed at the warmth that encased him as the pre heated jacket was
tugged around his small form, Tadashi's arms rewrapping over top adding to the
momentary comfort.
"Thank you," the older Hamada barely heard the words as they were mumbled from
somewhere below him. Tadashi replied by tightening his embrace.
They sat in near silence for a couple moments; only Hiro's heavy breaths could
be heard, accompanied by the odd hiccup. Tadashi seemed almost distracted as he
stared at his form, deep in thought before carefully shifting and searching for
his phone in the coat draped over his brother. Hiro looked up, confused by the
sudden motion, but his eyes went wide as he saw Tadashi reveal a phone and he
realized his brother's plan.
"No cops," he mumbled, his voice cracking painfully, and Tadashi looked down at
him as if Hiro had just slapped him across the face.
"Hiro, the authorities can–"
"No!" he managed clearer this time and grabbed the phone from his brother.
Tadashi was dumbfounded and he sat quietly, studying Hiro in silence. It wasn't
hard to guess what Hiro could be feeling, but his sympathy could only reach a
certain level of understanding. What Hiro was thinking could be influenced by
anything, really. Wanting the police out of the picture may be from
humiliation, fear, or both. Tadashi’s studied Hiro’s features, the lump in his
throat seeming to never leave.
His brother looked up at him, expression stern as he seemed to almost challenge
Tadashi. But that sudden boldness was quickly sucked away as he seemed to
remember his current state, and Hiro turned away sheepishly, his cheeks
suddenly red.
Tadashi felt his heart drop at the sight before he felt his blood boil as his
thoughts sprung back to whoever did this to brother, his family. He opened his
mouth, wanting to convince him, to argue, but when he saw the tears in his
brother’s eyes, he closed it. He knew right now was not the time to make Hiro
do anything that he didn't want to. But at the same time he also knew how wrong
it was to not call, not to help him.
Then he thought of just how incompetent the police here were and he
reconsidered. Because Hiro had been bot fighting his case probably wouldn't be
taken seriously, or discarded entirely. Tadashi had heard of similar problems
in San Fransokyo. If it went wrong everything would only be worse for Hiro.
Internally he fought with himself, looking away from Hiro as he mulled over the
options. His eyes came to land on MegaBot instead. The robot hadn’t moved,
coming to rest on the ground near Hiro’s sneaker and Tadashi didn’t ignore the
light bulb that went off somewhere in his head.
What the police could do, Tadashi knew he could do better.
He sighed as he seemed to eventually come to a decision, but he couldn't help
but hate himself for it.
"Alright," he obliged finally, and Hiro looked up in shock. He couldn't believe
it, and frankly Tadashi couldn’t either.
"No cops," he echoed in a whisper, guilt evident in his features.
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry that this chapter was a little shorter than the first!
     I'll also add here that I'm not sure when I'll be able to update. I
     promise I will continue, I'm just not sure how often I'll get the
     chance to write, especially as of late.
     Very sorry! Do forgive me!!!!
***** Sleep and the Distance Between *****
Chapter Notes
     Good news: I finally updated.
     Bad news: It's the shortest chapter yet.
     Also it's kind of a bit of a recap from last chapter, basically a
     snippet from Hiro's side of things more or less. And next chap I'll
     switch back to Tadashi. I think I'll alternate for every chapter. So
     yeah, sooorrrrryyyy about the length and the wait.
     AND I just wanna give another big thank you to the support and lovely
     people in general who actually read (and like) my stuff!
     Other than that, um, enjoy? ^.^'
See the end of the chapter for more notes
When Hiro first awoke to realize Tadashi had found him, he had been just as
scared as he was thankful. At the same time he was also humiliated, but
exceeding all was the fretful apprehension he faced as he noted the possible
consequences of his brother discovering him in this state. The cold fear that
seemed to take over his mind was aided by several scenarios – all of which
ended with Tadashi getting hurt by the monster that did so to him.
"You tell, and I'll kill not just you, but him too. Maybe even give him a taste
of what you just had, before I slit his throat."
He couldn't let that happen to Tadashi; would never let it happen. So he had
done the only thing that might save his brother from those threats that held
the possibility to become true.
"No cops," he had said. He knew the look on his brother’s face was enough to
tell him just how ridiculous he was being. But that didn't matter. Tadashi’s
safety was what mattered. If anything were to happen to him because of Hiro,
the boy was sure he’d never forgive himself.
He had prepared for Tadashi to argue, the expression that formed across his
older siblings features enough to warn him of the oncoming objection. Hiro had
wanted to punch him – as if the physical out lash would make him understand,
but instead he had shouted and grabbed the phone that his brother was about to
dial the police on. It was all he could think of to stop him; to save him.
Hiro almost cringed when he saw the look Tadashi gave him – a look of shock,
confusion, maybe hurt.
Disappointment.
Hiro felt embarrassed, partially out of acting so rashly in blind defiance, but
mostly from remembering why he was here, almost completely naked. He had wanted
to cry all over again, and almost did had Tadashi not surprised him with a
simple agreement.
He had been completely astonished. Tadashi had never agreed with him, at least
not with something so much against his favor.
And the guilt that was evident in his features said that this was definitely
not in his favor.
Hiro had felt the same way his brother looked at that moment as the bubble of
guilt he discovered forming in his chest suddenly burst, washing away every
other concern if only briefly. He couldn't help but feel liable for causing the
hurt, the unmistakable stress that he observed take over Tadashi's entire
appearance. Hiro barely missed the way he tensed, a frown drawn across his
lips, and Hiro blamed himself because he was the reason Tadashi found him like
this. Tadashi was always worrying over his impulsive younger sibling as a
parent would their own child, and he had never even fully considered what it
did to him until now.
He felt terrible because he knew Tadashi dealt with the hardship of having Hiro
as a sibling; a forced responsibility.
"I'm sorry," he had said then, because he really was sorry. The apology was for
being no more than a burden. Baggage that Tadashi felt obligated to drag with
him everywhere simply because they were brothers. Hiro wasn't worth that. He
wasn't worth the love Tadashi showed towards him, or the heartache that
currently plagued the older sibling. Hiro felt responsible; that he was the
reason for his brother’s distress, and on top of that everything else that
happened tonight. He was to blame.
"No, god no, Hiro... This is not your fault," with ever gentle hands he had
turned Hiro's face so he had no choice but to look at him, "Don't think for a
second that this is in any way your fault." Tadashi's eyes were wide with
concern, brows creased as though he was begging his brother to listen to his
words.
Hiro found he couldn't hold his gaze for long and had turned his eyes downcast,
nodding lightly. He did it really just to please Tadashi, maybe help ease his
mind. How much he actually believed what he had said however was in contrast
with the motion.
Tadashi, not convinced, had pulled his brother back towards him. Hiro let
himself be dragged back into his embrace, face falling into Tadashi's chest for
what seemed like the millionth time tonight. He had to admit he would never
grow sick of affection like this, though he greatly wished it was under better
circumstances. Encased in his brother’s warmth Hiro found it wasn’t long before
he caught himself drifting off to the rhythm of Tadashi's heartbeat.
===============================================================================
When Hiro woke again, it was to a different movement. Still rhythmic and
continuous, though more sudden, making his entire body sway. It wasn't
alarming, but it was off-putting.
Opening his eyes Hiro found the movement was from Tadashi who was carrying him
bridal style with both arms securely wrapped underneath his younger brother.
The smaller form shuddered when he noticed the touch wasn't as raw anymore and
it took Hiro a second before he realized why.
His clothes were back on – and properly.
He was grateful he hadn't been conscious when his Tadashi redressed him, but
nearly scowled at the thought.
Hiro wasn't sure exactly when he had passed out or come to (nor was he aware of
the time that passed in between), and he didn’t know how long he had been in
that god forsaken alley, or when Tadashi had decided to carry him out of it.
Everything was jumbled, confusing – distorted. What was around him he barely
interpreted, as things seemed to phase in and out of focus: dark to light; blur
to overwhelmingly clear.
Through lidded eyes he watched as they passed building after building, crossing
through the deserted roads and under countless decrepit, flickering street
lights. Hiro started to count them, noting which one's were functional and
others less so, but lost track as sleep seemed to almost usher him back with
open arms. He was so tired and the alluring idea of effortless slumber was more
than tempting, it was hard to keep away.
A car horn made him start, setting him on high alert as he caught sight of a
sports car drive past the pair, music blaring. As quickly as it had come –
slowing down only to make a scene – it was driving off again, shooting around
the corner of the next street. Hiro listened to the screeching of tires grow
faint and let out a quiet sigh, though he found himself still feeling on edge.
He thanked every god that came to mind that it hadn’t been /him/.
"Are you going to be okay if we take the scooter?" Hiro looked up at the sound
of his brother's voice and met Tadashi's tender glance. He seemed to of just
realized Hiro had woken up.
"Yeah…"
Hiro knew by the look on his brother’s face that if he had said no Tadashi
would have very well committed to carrying him home.
A couple dozen more steps and Hiro was being carefully lowered down onto his
feet. He almost collapsed as he made contact with the ground, but Tadashi was
right next to him, arms already prepared to catch the young SFIT student should
he fall. Hiro did his best to seem not completely useless, and as much as he
didn't want to, pulled away from his Tadashi’s grasp as he tried to collect
himself, using the other's arm for balance only momentarily before
extinguishing all contact to stand on his own. Hiro shivered as his older
brother retreated slightly, warmth seeming to ghost away with the distance.
Tadashi stood behind him, waiting patiently as he watched the young prodigy
find his footing. His eyes locked on Hiro as he prepared to spring to his aid
at any second.
The older Hamada observed as the boy took his first few disconcerting steps
forward, Hiro scouring over the trash bins and forgotten cardboard lining the
walls. He was about to ask what they were doing here when Tadashi suddenly
walked forward, placing a hand on Hiro's shoulder briefly before slipping by
and making his way towards a large pile of debris. The college student
continued to rearrange several boxes and bags and Hiro almost shook his head
when Tadashi revealed a black tarp before forcefully pulling on it, discarding
it somewhere to the side in a rustling blur as his scooter appeared from
underneath. He then dug a key chain out of his pocket as he pushed the
kickstand up, rolling the bike towards Hiro before repositioning it in front of
his brother.
As he threw the kickstand down again, he walked away leaving Hiro and the bike
together as he went to a small disused trash bin to pull out a fair sized box,
and making his way back Hiro tried not to roll his eyes as he watched Tadashi
reveal two helmets from the contents. Hiro wasn’t too surprised by the
spectacle.
Safety to thievery, he left it up to Tadashi to be paranoid about everything…
Only after putting his own helmet on while walking to the bike, did Tadashi
then reach down and put his brother's on, even ensuring to buckle up the chin
strap. Hiro would have scowled had he not been distracted by the solemn
expression that appeared permanent on his brother’s face, not once changing
throughout the entire demonstration. That look alone had caused Hiro to
remember why he felt so terribly guilty.
When Tadashi finished, Hiro let the helmet weigh his head down and he looked to
the floor feeling nothing but remorse. This didn't go unnoticed by his brother.
"Hey," Tadashi tilted his chin back up, but what he originally wanted to say
dissolved on his tongue as he saw the hurt in his brother’s eyes. He looked at
him at a loss for words, subconsciously rubbing a thumb over Hiro's jaw as if
to sooth. Eventually he finished with a simple, almost whispered, "We'll be
home soon."
Tadashi felt Hiro’s jaw clench under his hand at the mention, his little
brother’s entire body appearing to tense and his eyes suddenly growing wide as
he seemed to contemplate something.
"You're not going to tell Aunt Cass, right?" Tadashi could see the tears
already forming in his baby brother’s eyes, "You can't tell her. She can't
know, if she did she'd – "
"Hiro," Tadashi cut his ranting off, and suddenly Hiro found himself blinking
more than usual as he fought back tears.
If she knew, she could get hurt too.
Tadashi closed his eyes as he seemed to be fighting with himself yet again, or
else maybe he was also fighting back tears. Hiro wasn't sure at this point.
"I–" when his eyes opened Hiro saw they were filled with only sadness and
guilt, his compliance sounding forced, "I won't tell Aunt Cass... If that's
what you really want."
As he got the words out his eyes slipped shut and he let out a heavy breath in
defeat. Hiro didn’t need to be a genius to know Tadashi regretted what he just
committed to and he felt himself pulled into another hug as the older bent to
his level, helmets lightly clicking together with the action.
"But you need to let me help you, Hiro" he heard the words mumbled against his
shoulder, and Hiro nodded.
The ride home was more than uncomfortable, Hiro found it downright hurt. But he
had guessed as much the moment he first sat down on the scooter, trying his
best not to wince when he had caught Tadashi watching him from the corner of
his eye.
Even though he was certain Tadashi wouldn't hear him over the growl of the
motor or through the helmets that muffled the sound, Hiro did everything he
could to suppress vocalizing his discomfort. Every bump they hit, every sharp
turn made, Hiro was made very aware of the aftermath. His face curled and
twisted at every sharp pain that shot through his lower back, and he was
suddenly glad he was able to hide his expression in Tadashi's back.
It wasn’t long before the eerie backstreets and sketchy buildings began to
dissolve into more friendly looking structures but to Hiro he only saw the neon
glow of the city as a disorienting blur that sped by in changing colors. He
found himself counting again as he looked past it, listing off food joints to
electronic stores. The numbers meant nothing in his head, but it served as a
distraction. Ignoring everything else just seemed easier right now.
Arms wrapped around his brothers middle, he knew he must have been drifting off
again because he felt Tadashi grab his hands to reposition them more tightly
around his stomach. Hiro tried to stay conscious and keep a grip, but
apparently he wasn’t doing a good enough job because Tadashi quickly gave up,
permanently keeping one hand over his brothers to stop them from loosening
furthermore.
Hiro thought he heard his brother say something, but he was honestly too tired
to care.
Despite everything, he somehow managed to pass out for the third time that
night.
Chapter End Notes
     thank you again to all who are showing an interest and reading this
     fic and I'll see you in the next chapter! :)
***** Revenge Is a Hunger That Can't Be Satisfied *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
"Hey, stay awake, Hiro.”
Feeling the grip around his stomach loosen, Tadashi reached towards his waist
to find his brothers hands, giving them a squeeze to try and get Hiro's
attention because chances were the boy hadn’t heard what was just said. When
the smaller hands didn't retighten or stay where they were placed Tadashi
briefly considered pulling over to fix the problem but dismissed the thought
for two reasons...
One being they were almost home, and two because he figured Hiro wouldn't go
anywhere so long as he was holding onto him.
But he quickly discovered it’s exceedingly difficult to drive a scooter with
only one hand.
The older student found himself struggling to adjust the unconscious form to
fit securely against his back, the scooter swerving marginally as he did so and
the speedometer dropping a fraction. Finally when he was sure Hiro wasn't going
anywhere, Tadashi left him be, but kept up the slow speed as a precaution. He
shuddered when he felt Hiro shift slightly against him and almost went to grab
for him a second time, but Hiro relaxed almost instantly. Besides Hiro's
weight, loose grip, and the heavy intake of Hiro’s breathing pressing into him,
Tadashi didn't feel him move again for the rest of the trip home.
He couldn't come to convince himself that everything about this wasn't
completely wrong, and a part of him didn't want to convince him otherwise. Just
knowing what he was doing, what could be the end result of this entire
situation, made his conscious scream. He felt not only surprised but absolutely
disgusted with himself. This was reprehensible. He knew when he found out who
did this that he wouldn't hesitate to kill the scum, and that scared him,
because he knew he would do it. He had done it before.
Despite what everyone else believed, Callaghan had never actually died from the
fire.
As they pulled in front of the cafe Tadashi had to reach an arm behind him to
stop Hiro from sliding off. It was a trial, but Tadashi managed to shake Hiro
enough to barely wake him.
"Hey, we're home." Over his shoulder Tadashi caught a glimpse of Hiro's lidded
eyes, looking as though he could fall back asleep at any second. With a little
more prompting Hiro reluctantly got off the scooter, standing off to the side.
Tadashi didn't miss the way his brother winced or how he avoided making eye
contact with him, but continued to dismount the bike himself without comment,
proceeding to kick the stand down with a little more force than necessary.
After taking his own helmet off and helping Hiro with his, he locked them to
the scooter, and as he turned unconsciously glanced over Hiro.
His brother looked completely exhausted, eyes almost fully closed and swaying
slightly. Hiro looked as though he could pass out right where he was standing
and without a second thought Tadashi was scooping him up, as gently as he
always had when they were younger. As gentle as when he had held his new born
baby brother for the very first time over fourteen years ago.
Hiro tensed at first, and was about to protest; tell his brother that he could
walk, but he was too drained to care and let it slide as he was lifted against
his older sibling’s chest. Tadashi smiled sadly as he watched his brother drift
off within seconds.
Like on the scooter it took some more skillful maneuvering and mindfulness of
Hiro as Tadashi unlocked the door, but he managed. Knowing Aunt Cass would be
in bed he conjured what stealth he could, wanting to not to wake her. It didn't
take long before he was up the stairs and in his and Hiro's shared bedroom,
closing the door silently behind him.
Bending over, he laid Hiro down, guiding his head to the mattress, the boy
turning on his side as he made contact with the covers. He watched his brother
for a moment, Hiro seeming to curl in on himself and eyebrows creasing in
discomfort. Tadashi found himself pulling Hiro's computer chair out as he
almost collapsed into it, eyes never leaving the younger’s sleeping form.
With his hand slightly trembling, Tadashi reached into the deep pocket of his
blazer, pulling out Hiro's battle bot. After Hiro had passed out he had taken
the opportunity to pocket it, knowing he would need the bot if he ever wanted
justice.
His eyes slid away from Hiro, attention and thoughts now on MegaBot as he
rolled the deadly toy over his hands a few times before turning it over to
trace the back of its head. There was a camera beneath, he knew because he
found it when he installed the tracking device, and it honestly hadn't
surprised him that Hiro would do something like tape his battles. He was now
more thankful than ever that he did.
Converting his attention back to his brother and without standing, Tadashi
found himself reaching over to Hiro and slipping a hand in his hoodie pocket,
retracting to reveal MegaBot's matching controller. Expression solemn, he
remembered how he had to redress his brother back in the alley, noticing the
slightly bulged pocket in the process of replacing his clothing. Tadashi had
figured that's how the small robot was originally able to “lead” him to his
little brother. He had no doubt Hiro himself had installed his own GPS upgrade
in the controller so the bot would always be able to locate the signal, and
with it the young robotics prodigy. This way he would never have any worries if
the bot was lost or stolen, because the robot would always find a way back to
its owner through the remote locator.
Tadashi mused at the idea along with his brother’s brilliance, swiveling on the
chair as he laid the two together on the desk behind him, caught in his
thoughts while he studied the robot. After a few moments of silence he leaned
back as he ran his hands over his face before groaning into his palms.
What was he doing?
"Tadashi?" he pulled his hands away and turned to meet his brother’s quiet
voice, a pair of sleepy eyes staring up at him. He internally cursed at himself
for being so thoughtless and waking up his brother.
"Hiro–" Tadashi was about to apologize; tell his brother to try and get some
sleep, but he was cut off.
"I know you well enough to know how you feel Tadashi,, but I’m asking you…
Please don't blame yourself,” the younger Hamada didn’t give the other a chance
to speak and he pushed himself up shakily, moving until he was sitting upright
on the bed. His voice was weak, almost a whisper, and he swallowed loudly as he
found his words, “This happened because I was reckless, I was stupid. I just...
I got what I deserved."
Tadashi was out of the chair as soon as he saw his brother’s tears, on the bed
and pulling Hiro into his warm embrace.
"Don't you say that – don’t ever say that," he was stern as he said the words,
but not angry, “This is not your fault, Hiro. Nothing – nothing, justifies what
happened to you.”
Hiro's response was more sniffling as he quietly cried against his brother.
Tadashi closed his eyes trying to calm himself and was about to apologize but
Hiro beat him to it.
"I'm sorry for making you worry, for not listening to you... I'm sorry for
everything." his voice cracked as he rambled and Tadashi almost winced at how
painful it sounded, "Tadashi, I'm sorry." His sobbing became increasingly
louder and Tadashi felt smaller hands clench tighter into his clothing. At this
point Hiro's entire body was quaking from every wail causing his shoulders to
shake and jump with each gasp.
"You have nothing to apologize for, Hiro," Tadashi's words were hushed but if
Hiro shaking his head was any indication, he had heard it. What he said next
seemed almost strangled as he tried to speak up again, his voice being hacked
apart and cut off by his violent sobbing resulting in it being unintelligible.
Tadashi only replied by holding his brother tighter against him, one hand
finding its way into his messy hair. Seeing his brother, his everything, so
broken like this was the worst thing he had ever felt. It was like some
invisible force was punching him in the chest on repeat, and it hurt.
"Shh... Shh..." At that moment Tadashi was murmuring things he could barely
keep track of: apologies, promises, vengeance. And if revenge meant killing the
scum bag that did this, so be it.
This time Hiro never stopped crying, though he did get quieter eventually.
After a while Tadashi found himself guiding both of them down so they were
lying side by side on the bed, hoping to coax Hiro to get some rest. His entire
appearance spelled exhaustion, and Tadashi was beginning to feel it too.
Closing his eyes, he held onto Hiro with the intention to comfort, the boy
ultimately settling into his brothers embrace.
Tadashi wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep, but the next time he opened his
eyes he was met by mild rays of sunshine poking through the windows. Although
it was light out it was still dim in the room with dark shadows being cast over
every dresser and chair, making what should be a cozy setting feel unsettling.
Or maybe it was just everything else.
Blinking a few times, Tadashi found his eyes quickly drawn to the sleeping form
next to him. Hiro was curled up against him, face still mostly in his older
brother's shirt. He was asleep, if his even, heavy breathing was anything to go
on, and Tadashi felt a little relieved to see that he actually looked peaceful.
No doubt he was lost in his dreams, only Tadashi wished Hiro didn't have to
wake up to this horrible reality.
Shifting carefully and aiming not to wake his brother, Tadashi pulled his phone
from his pocket, the screen blinking to life with a quick tap.
“Shit,” he cursed under his breath as he saw the digital clock read 6:28 a.m.
He had never intended to fall asleep, and he supposed he was just lucky Aunt
Cass hadn’t come upstairs yet.
Forcing the phone back into his pocket he used his one available arm, (the one
that wasn’t tingling from lack of circulation due to being tucked under Hiro,)
to reposition his brother, lightly lifting the boy off himself and trying not
to disturb him from his much needed sleep. He worked quickly, aiming not to
waste time – he knew this was not how he wanted his aunt to find them. As far
as she knew, they had both gone to bed somewhere around 11 last night.
Once free Tadashi decided their clothing was a dead giveaway, and so after
changing himself out of his own noticeably dirty clothes, he began rummaging
through Hiro's drawers, eventually pulling out a pair of pajama bottoms and the
first t-shirt he saw. But when he turned to his sleeping brother he paled at
the realization of what he was doing.
This was wrong; unethical. He was destroying potential evidence by doing this.
He would be hiding the truth.
Did that make him no better than an accomplice?
No, because he wasn't doing this for the attacker, he was doing this for Hiro.
Or was he doing this for himself?
Tadashi found himself running a hand through his hair in apprehension before
deciding to lower himself next to the bed. Lightly he pressed a hesitant palm
to his brother’s forehead, smoothing his hair back and away from Hiro’s face
before coming to a decision.
He was careful not to wake the fourteen year old as he changed him, and Tadashi
found himself trying not to react as he lifted the cloth away to reveal
scattered bruises and bite marks, the sight of them still managing to make his
blood boil. He tucked Hiro into bed after that, but paused before throwing the
laundry into the hamper. When he finally dropped them in it had been on his way
out of the room, as he cast one last regretful look towards the sleeping lump
of covers before heading downstairs.
As he entered the cafe, the first thing he smelled was coffee, the smell of the
fresh brew almost overpowering. The strength of the scent, he noticed, was only
aided by the sweet aroma of baking as he picked out a hint of cinnamon in the
mix. That was enough to make his stomach growl.
With his mind so preoccupied he hadn't realized just how hungry he was.
"Hey, you're up early!" Cass greeted him with a bright smile as he entered the
kitchen. She was hunched over a mixing bowl, flour splattered across her apron.
"Do classes start earlier today?"
"Actually, I just came down to let you know that Hiro's not feeling well.”
"Uh-oh, does he have a stomach bug?" Aunt Cass frowned and she stopped
everything she was doing momentarily, attention now completely on her nephew,
"I heard it was going around."
"Yeah, I'm thinking that's what it might be," he lied – he hated lying, but he
was good at it, "Seeing I'm caught up I think I'm going to stay home with him
today."
Cass nodded in understanding. "Well, just let me know if either of you need
anything."
Tadashi nodded, thanking her before he turned. She stopped him though, and
Tadashi felt his heart leap as he feared she had caught on to his deceit. He
had to stop himself from sighing in relief as she only offered him a cinnamon
bun and Tadashi took it with his aunts insistence, thanking her a second time
before leaving the kitchen.
Tadashi had almost finished it by the time he was back upstairs and as he
entered his room the first thing he did was look at his brother. Besides maybe
shifting slightly in his sleep, Hiro was in the same spot he had left him.
He felt another pang of guilt light in his chest, and with all his effort did
what he could to ignore it.
Stuffing the last bite of the sweet in his mouth he walked to Hiro's desk
taking MegaBot and its controller before carrying both back to his side of the
room. After pulling a tool kit and his laptop out from their places on his own
desk he was soon sitting cross legged across his bed, everything spread out in
front of him.
He worked quickly to take apart MegaBot, fingers nimbly working to find the
necessary slots and screws for disassembly. With agility and precision he had
found what he was looking for in a matter of minutes, the student unwinding a
small cord from the robots head. He dug through the tool box in search for the
proper extension, and when he found it attached it to the stuck out cord before
plugging the other end into one of his laptop's ports.
It took a bit of playing around to get past Hiro's security set up, but it
wasn't an impossible feat. He had the walls down in less than five minutes,
soon coming to find a folder with listed video recordings, all of which were
labeled with a quick description or title only Hiro would use.
Except the latest one.
The most recent film, titled only with a date – yesterday's date – the date it
was recorded, sat on top. It was unedited, and never viewed.
Tadashi let the mouse hover over the folder in uncertainty before finally
clicking on it.
The video player opened before him, and at first it appeared as though nothing
had recorded, only blackness filling the screen. But then he heard the audio
blare from his laptop, and with a start he made quickly to turn the volume
down, sending a worried glance at his brother’s direction in fear he may have
woken him. Relieved to see no indication of Hiro waking up, he proceeded to
turn the volume to a more comfortable level and continued to watch, his heart
suddenly beating a little more furiously than before.
The screen continued with showing absolutely nothing, the noise of loud
collective cheering sounding over the laptops speakers. Then the image changed
as MegaBot was turned away from whatever was blocking its camera lens, the
cheering of the crowd growing immensely louder as it was pointed forward, a
battle arena coming into focus and consuming the width of the monitor.
A fairly large robot, MegaBot’s opponent, sat on the opposite side and Tadashi
found himself struggling to see anything that wasn't battle bots or peoples
shoes in the tops corners. And as the tournament commenced, it didn't get much
better. Between flying hunks of metal shooting across the screen, with full
body shots of the robot competitor, not a single person fully came into view.
Until the battle ended.
As Tadashi watched shrapnel fly past the screen while MegaBot delivered its
last punishing attack, the losing bot fell out of the shot to show who was
directly seated behind it. He found his breath catch in his throat as he
realized this was the same man he had run into back by the ring, everything
including his tattoo exactly how Tadashi recalled it.
But just because he was in the video didn't mean he had done this, right? This
wasn't evidence; this was suspicion... He reconsidered that last thought as he
watched the video continue.
After Hiro had retrieved his robot Tadashi had gotten a pretty good picture of
what went on afterwards. As he watched Hiro forced away from bystanders by the
same man, he felt his face grow hot with anger, his knuckles noticeably growing
white from how tight his fists were clenched while he watched everything play
out.
When Hiro had escaped, Tadashi watched the footage change to a jittery blur as
the sound of rapid footsteps rang over the speakers. They didn't last long, and
the screen was soon covered again, the only audio being of muffled voices. More
blurs, then a loud bang echoed simultaneously making the screen go fuzzy,
before any visual was completely lost.
Tadashi was left with the remaining audio that sounded like more muffled voices
and shuffling – struggling – that slowly faded away.
The video finally ended and Tadashi found the ringing in his ears almost
distracting as he processed what he just watched.
At least he now knew who he was looking for.
Chapter End Notes
     Another big thanks to everyone for all the kudos/comments/support/
     and overall patience!
      
***** To Envy What Can't Be Reached *****
Chapter Notes
     *guiltily looks at calendar* Soooorrrryyyyyyy
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Hiro almost didn't dream that night.
Falling asleep wrapped in his brother’s arms had left his exhausted mind
nothing but empty darkness at first, a calming relief compared to the horror of
that evening. But even in unconsciousness a geniuses brain doesn't stay dormant
for long, and whatever peace Hiro found was eventually disturbed.
Through the darkness of what began as a dreamless sleep, Hiro saw eyes, more
animal than human, stalking with the hungry look of a shark. He couldn’t escape
their gaze or the hands that found and felt their way around him, the forceful
feeling of fingers that painfully grabbed and clawed at his skin the opposite
of an amenity, yet all too familiar.
Hiro tried to move – to fight against the force that now had him pinned down
and restrained. He felt teeth graze his skin with the heat of a tongue that
never stopped mapping his sore flesh, the humidity of the animal's breath
leaving his hair to stand on end. All accompanied the unwelcome touch, adding
another repulsive sensation that made him want to gag.
He cried, and even as he thought he felt his own sobs rack his body, he heard
nothing. Not only was he damned to suffer through this torment in sleep– he was
also to endure it without his voice. Hiro screamed when those teeth finally
pierced his shoulder, feeling the vibrations rip out his throat, but whatever
sound he expected to hear was muted. Instead he was cursed to hear everything
else: the hot breathing in his ear, the threats, and the repulsive groans of
pleasure. All coming from the weight over top of him; the man with the
unsettling eyes.
He didn’t hear himself whimper, or cry, or beg, or plead, because all this
nightmare wanted Hiro to hear was what was being done to him. Having to relive
it with this added element sprouted fresh and relentless terror – terror that
he’s only barely known in the horrific depths of few past dreams. And
unfortunately for Hiro there’s no limitation to fear in a nightmare.
===============================================================================
When he awoke, Hiro barely managed to stifle a cry. Body shaking and drenched
in sweat, he gasped as he bolted upright, surprised to find himself in his own
bedroom. He ran trembling hands over his shoulders as if to rub away the touch
that seemed to follow him from his sleep. He could feel how soaked his cheeks
were from the tears that fell.
Warily he glanced over his surroundings to reassure himself that he was, in
fact, still in the safety of his own room. Simultaneously he scanned for
Tadashi, but he didn’t see his elder brother in sight. The divider had been
left open, revealing Tadashi’s empty bed and bedroom, his missing presence
daunting. Hiro didn’t blame Tadashi for not wanting to be around him, figuring
his brother's absence was most likely because of his own failings.
The sun was out, the light shining through the windows hinting it was sometime
in the afternoon. Hiro found the bright warmth to be in contrast with what he
felt, and his skin tingled as the last ghostly traces of those touches finally
faded away. He cried silently, not wanting to alert Tadashi if his brother was
close by, and he tried to force himself to stop. Though the tears continued to
fall off his chin and Hiro felt the silence threaten to break as he found
himself fighting to hold back another gasp. Clamping a hand over his mouth he
clenched his eyes shut willing to keep quiet as the tears refused to cease.
He opened his eyes in time to watch them spill to his lap, the drops leaving
noticeable marks on his pajama bottoms. He realized then Tadashi must have
changed him, and he felt a wave of shame ripple through his body.
Tadashi was most likely somewhere nearby, if not in earshot, he guessed. And
Hiro really didn’t want to bother him with this, or appear more pathetic than
how he felt. But an audible sob finally broke free, sounding out across the
room like a firecracker just went off, and Hiro almost flinched at the sound of
his own voice, though in remembrance of his dream, a side of him found relief.
Hiro looked across the room in alarm, expecting Tadashi to show up at the door
any second, but saw no sign of his brother. Rather he heard beeping followed by
the quiet breath of an air pump as he watched Baymax activate by Tadashi's
bedside.
In response to the realization of what he just did, Hiro’s first thought was to
hide. But instead he just found himself averting his eyes away from the vinyl
robot in uncertainty as Baymax neared the bed, eventually halting to proceed
with his regular greeting and questioning of the situation. Hiro didn’t attempt
to respond, though with how much he was crying, it would have been difficult to
form a reply anyways. Instead another sob sounded from underneath his hand,
followed almost immediately by several more.
He tried to force his tears to end, both hands now tightly covering his mouth
in hopes to stop the uneven gasps from surfacing. He could feel Baymax watching
him, which didn't help anything. The robot scanned him in no time to assess his
state, and Hiro was grateful he wasn't able to make out Baymax listing off the
details of his condition, thanks to his sobs and the ringing in his ears.
The robot continued with his rehearsed progression of questions and concerns,
though none were answered. As if assessing his patient further, Baymax soon
broke off in his speech falling momentarily silent.
Hiro was surprised when the robot suddenly came closer and gently asked, “Hiro,
do I have your permission to administer physical reassurance in the form of a
hug?”
He wasn’t sure why, but despite the tears that still fell he had wanted to
laugh. Instead he just nodded in confirmation, and as he let the soft arms
carefully stretch over him Hiro almost smiled, because knew no matter what
Baymax always meant well.
“It is all right to cry,” Hiro heard the robotic voice come from somewhere
above him, "Crying is a natural response to pain."
If his mental and physical state was anything to go off of from the scan, he
figured Baymax knew every fine detail of his condition by now, along with the
cause. Though he wondered if Tadashi had purposefully left Baymax available in
case of something like this, or if his brother had simply forgotten about the
robot entirely. But Hiro was quick to dismiss the thought letting his hands
fall as he leaned into the rubber cushion around him, allowing his sobs to be
muffled by Baymax’s vinyl. He took a little comfort in the realization that the
robot wouldn’t judge him, but he couldn’t say the same for anyone else,
including himself.
It didn’t matter what Tadashi said, Hiro knew that this was his own fault. A
teenager with a rebellious streak can’t help but think he’s invincible, and it
was his own ignorance and poor judgment that got him here. Honestly Hiro
couldn’t think of anyone else to take blame.
Always Tadashi had done everything in his power to protect Hiro. He was someone
to look up to; to idolize. Tadashi Hamada was someone who, when offering
advice, one would be stupid not to take it. Yet Hiro felt the constant need to
defy him, and why? Hiro’s always loved his brother, but that was exactly the
problem. Hiro loved Tadashi... more than a brother should.
There had always been a strong connection between the two, the bond being
present ever since they were small. But it was only a couple months ago Hiro
realized that what he felt was more than just friendship – more than sibling
adoration. Overtime Hiro had fallen for his elder brother, and out of
everything, that scared him.
It scared him because these feelings felt new, yet strangely familiar. Like he
had always felt the same emotions, but with his growing maturity had only just
recently realized what they meant. To Hiro it felt so natural – but still
completely unjustifiable.
He was afraid of rejection, not only from Tadashi, but everyone else in his
life. Admitting his feelings could ruin what they already had, causing his
brother to think less of him if he didn’t decide to disown him entirely. On top
of that was the fact these feelings he held for Tadashi were just plain wrong.
This was his sibling; they grew up together, learned together. Tadashi
practically raised him. Yet no matter how hard he pushed them away, or ignored
them, Hiro couldn’t change how he felt. In his struggle to suppress them,
pushing them to disappear, they had remained solid throughout everything – even
now.
During that time Hiro had figured there was something wrong with him – no
normal person thought this way. He was disgusted that he should want his elder
brother as anything more than what he already was – a brother. In no time the
strength of his feelings managed to make him feel as sick as he thought his
mind to be. And not long after his realization of his new found emotions was
when Hiro had started bot fighting. One of the reasons he got into it was to
use it as a distraction, and at first it did help him avoid the problem.
Tadashi hadn’t been what drove him to it though – no, Hiro had always held an
earnest interest in bot fighting coupled by the desire to partake in the stakes
that came with it, so the time would have come sooner or later (though his
brother was definitely a major influence on the final decision of how soon.)
Hiro gradually found himself sneaking out more. By being out more, and keeping
a distance between him and Tadashi, it had actually proven to work to take his
mind off the issue. Even when Tadashi had grown suspicious and found out,
catching and dragging Hiro home almost every night… The thrill of a chase, the
adrenaline that pumped through him, the head rush of victory – all proved to
keep up the distraction. All of it was enough to make his heart beat
differently; for a different cause. On top of it came the arguments – which
although Hiro dreaded, he figured that every time he felt his heart break from
Tadashi’s shouting or frowned disappointment, that maybe this time his heart
wouldn’t heal, and maybe the love and admiration he held for him would finally
shatter with it. Though Hiro didn’t want them to grow apart and actually really
hated the idea. But he knew he’d rather have Tadashi look down on him for bot
fighting than for his secret.
Then Tadashi had introduced Hiro to SFIT, and things started to change. Hiro
had taken the presented opportunity mostly just for what it was – a challenge.
Something new and something different. It had never occurred to him just how
much time that meant he’d be spending with Tadashi – the person he had spent
the last several months trying to avoid. Preparing for the showcase, the two of
them left alone in such close proximity for countless hours on end; Hiro
thought it would be impossible to concentrate. And yet, still in the end,
Tadashi had helped inspire him.
Though admittedly Hiro still found it difficult to focus when Tadashi insisted
on checking his progress by leaning so closely over his shoulder, Hiro swore he
could feel his brother’s breath ghost across his cheek. Even more common was
when Tadashi would encourage Hiro with a gentle shoulder squeeze, or the light
ruffle of his unkempt hair. It was contact like this that sent sparks across
Hiro’s skin or made his cheeks turn a shade darker – evidence of what he
desired but knew he couldn’t have. Signs he was thankful Tadashi never noticed,
and it gave Hiro hope that maybe he could successfully continue hiding by
keeping Tadashi in the dark on the matter. In the beginning he had managed the
façade fairly well too, holding his ground and keeping his feelings separate
from his work around Tadashi, right up to the showcase. That night was when the
fire tested everything.
In a matter of seconds Hiro had been so close to breaking, what he had fought
so hard to conceal threatening to collapse, all because he was trying to stop
Tadashi from running into the threatening flames that overflowed the exhibition
hall. In that moment Hiro was ready to say anything, or do anything to keep
Tadashi from doing something so reckless, so life threatening – down right
stupid.But everything he wanted to say; what he had wanted to say for far too
long, had caught in his throat, because in that moment the fear of the
consequences of his unsaid confession were just as strong as the fear that came
with the thought of losing Tadashi. It had been a silent tug of war in his mind
that had ultimately freed Tadashi of his grip and left Hiro alone and helpless.
And he knew the second he felt the heat and force of the explosion knock him
back – the power of his body colliding into the pavement as abrupt as the
realization of what it meant – that he regretted his silence.
Even in the aftermath of the destruction, when Tadashi had somehow managed to
avoid Callaghan’s fate by chance, only bearing minimal damage to his lungs from
smoke inhalation and burns that likely wouldn’t even scar, still Hiro found
himself struggle to admit his feelings.
In the hospital he had practiced the confession while next to Tadashi’s
bedside, then not sure whether to be more afraid of rejection or never getting
the chance to tell Tadashi the truth. His words were lost among the hum of
equipment and Tadashi’s steady breathing from under the oxygen mask, too deep
in sleep to stir even when his younger brother’s lips had pressed against his
forehead.
Even with hours of rehearsing, Hiro never could bring himself to confess. And
he figured maybe it would be better for everyone if he didn’t and instead kept
quiet. Because maybe he wasn’t meant to force away the silence that came so
naturally.
After Tadashi was released from the hospital, things never fully changed back
to normal. The oldest Hamada had seemed a lot more solemn, losing interest or
enthusiasm towards what he normally wouldn’t hesitate to express about – though
this was understandable giving he was mourning the loss of his professor. He
became very serious, not like anyone had seen him before: not laughing as often
as he used to and keeping more to himself. Until it involved his little
brother.
When it came to Hiro, Tadashi always made time or got involved (not that he
never did before, but this was excessive compared to prior,) even going to the
extensive length of firmly laying down rules that he expected Hiro to follow,
their purpose to keep him in sight. It was barely two weeks after the incident
at the university when Hiro had decided to catch a bot fight, and without
surprise Tadashi had found him, saving the day just in time before one of the
guys could take the first swing. Hiro had figured Tadashi wouldn’t be pleased,
but he hadn’t expected a lecture and orders on how he wouldn’t be allowed to do
it anymore. What had shocked Hiro most was that it wasn’t a request – it was a
demand.
Prior Tadashi had always given Hiro the freedom to make his own decisions
(though he would still provide his consecutive, insistent opinions and thoughts
on said decisions.) That had always been one of the things that outlined the
difference between him being a brother, and not a parent. Though Hiro figured
it was driven by Tadashi’s own near death experience, the trauma of the fire
and the loss of his mentor probably having something to do with the spark of
protection suddenly igniting into a full blown inferno.
Hiro had disregarded Tadashi’s wishes, naturally. And naturally he had soon
ended up in over his head, finding more trouble than a fourteen year old can
handle. Or now in his case, what a fourteen year old should never have to
handle, or have to go through. Hiro knew this wouldn’t have happened if he
hadn’t insisted on ignoring Tadashi. All Tadashi's ever wanted was to keep him
out of harms reach, but now it's too late.
Hiro knows Tadashi didn’t fail him. Tadashi has never failed him. It’s always
been the other way around.
"Tadashi is absent, however I can contact him if you are in need of his
presence," Baymax's blunt voice reverberated through the hollow of his stomach,
the statement a confident response to Hiro's quiet sniffling as his tears found
an eventual end. "He may be able to provide additional emotional support."
"No, it's okay Baymax," Hiro was quick to reply, though his voice was barely a
whisper, "I've been more than a burden to him already."
The robot paused as if he were contemplating something (or searching his memory
for possible solutions,) before he spoke again, with an almost advisable tone.
"Other steps towards healing include, but are not limited to counseling,
reporting to authorities–" Hiro stopped him there.
"No, Baymax–" when Hiro pulled away he found himself forcing to stabilize his
breathing as he pushed to hold the tears back this time around, "No one, can
know about this, okay? The fact that you and Tadashi... That means– he
could..."
The memory of the threat that played in his mind was enough to rekindle the
fear that robbed him of his voice. But it wasn't his life he feared for; it was
Tadashi's.
"You tell, and I'll kill not just you, but him too. Maybe even give him a taste
of what you just had, before I slit his throat."
The threat was farfetched, probably meaningless and empty and only existent to
keep him quiet – but Hiro couldn't risk being proven wrong. He would never
gamble Tadashi's safety like that.
Baymax blinked down at the boy below him, before speaking confirmation. "If you
have full confidence behind your decision, I will support it."
In a display of relief the young teen closed his eyes, a quiet sigh rolling
over his shoulders. But the nurse bots next question quickly distorted his
features, causing his eyebrows to crease and an uninvited shiver to swim up his
spine.
"May I recommend and/or apply care to your physical injuries?"
When Hiro finally opened his eyes, he found he couldn't even will himself to
directly look at Baymax.
"No... It's fine Baymax." In all honesty he didn't need the awkward
embarrassment and possible distress that could come with either option. From
what little he caught from Baymax's earlier description, he was fairly sure
that what injuries he had were no more than minor, and what did need more,
special, attention... Well, the internet had its many uses. "Don't worry about
it, " he finished.
When Hiro went to stand, he couldn't help the mild shaking that started in his
legs or the accompanied pain. He felt unstable, and he knew the limp he found
himself walking with was going to be hard to hide from aunt Cass.
"Are you in need of assistance?"
"I can manage," he answered shaking his head as he continued in the direction
of the bathroom, "I'm just going to go shower..." On course he momentarily
caught sight of Tadashi's laptop, left on and opens near his bed. Any normal
day he probably wouldn't have hesitated to snoop, but he couldn't find the
motivation. Right now all he wanted to do was be clean; he felt disgusting.
"Hiro," the boy paused in the doorway when he heard the robot repeat his name,
"As my patient I must advise you that bathing may destroy potential evidence
and–"
"–I know, Baymax," Hiro turned his head but still couldn't bring himself to
look at the nurse bot. "That's the plan," he said continuing into the bathroom.
He felt almost guilty with his next choice of words. " I'm satisfied with my
care..."
Hiro barely caught the sound of Baymax deflating when he closed the bathroom
door behind him. Knuckles white, it took him several long moments before he
finally released his hand from the door handle.
Turning the shower on he slipped out of the warmth of his clothing, avoiding
the mirror while he undressed. He had no desire to see his condition, the
scattered throbbing and aches he felt on his skin reminder enough of what he
went through. More than anything he wished he had the power to forget.
Hiro didn't give himself time to hesitate before he stepped under the spray,
nearly gasping at the sensation. The water felt almost heavy as it struck
against him, fully covering him in seconds. He frowned as he brushed the mop of
wet hair from his eyes, a shaky breath trembling from his lips.
No turning back now.
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry, this chapter was uneventful, especially considering how long
     it took me to update. :P Next chapter will be interesting, and pretty
     intense hopefully. I'm definitely looking forward to writing it.
***** Anger Burns and Blinds *****
Chapter Notes
     WOW over 500 kudos and 10k hits. I am just so happy and amazed this
     had gotten as much attention as it has! So a biiig thank you to
     everyone for all the support/feedback and kind comments! I really do
     appreciate and love seeing all of it, even if don't always have a
     chance to get around it right away. Anyways about this chapter... I'm
     not sure if I'm happy with how it turned out...
     New WARNING : blood/gore and graphic depictions of violence in this
     chapter, along with all the good stuff from before
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Tadashi returned to the empty room with late lunch in hand, the two plates he
carried uncomfortably warm against his fingers. The contents were nothing
fancy, just a few grilled cheese sandwiches and soup he had prepared while
working around Aunt Cass, preparation time occasionally cut short only when he
stopped to help her with customers. Knowing Hiro, Tadashi figured the teen
would probably argue he wasn't hungry. But he was also hopeful that he could
persuade his brother when he woke up, even if there was little temptation for
his mediocre cooking.
Nearing the foot of Hiro’s bed Tadashi almost dropped both plates as he froze,
taking into account the absence of the teen. In a panic his eyes darted over
the abandoned bed, and mess of sheets strewn over it, before pulling his
attention to the rest of the room. He opened his mouth, his brother’s name
barely forming on his tongue, when the distant noise of running water cut him
short a breath. He hesitated before taking the last few steps he needed to
deliver the plates to Hiro's night stand, then immediately turned to head
towards the bathroom.
Tadashi shifted his weight in front of the door uncomfortably before finally
bringing himself to knock.
"Hiro? You okay?" Tadashi surprised himself with how loud his voice came out.
Any movement that was coming from the other side of the door suddenly stopped,
what would have been silence only interrupted by the continuous spray of the
shower. The lack of response was unsettling and Tadashi immediately moved for
the door handle, concern distorting his features.
"Hiro? Answer me, please," he tried again, hand glued to the handle and body
prepared to break down the door if he had to.
"I'm fine," the muffled answer came through and Tadashi felt a little of his
panic subside, though not completely. He twisted the door knob slightly to find
it was locked.
"Hiro, unlock the door." A locked door, he knew his brother understood as well
as he did, was an issue. If anything was wrong, it meant Tadashi wouldn't be
able to get to Hiro. Locks were nothing but an unnecessary barrier that could
reject Hiro his safety, and that's why Tadashi didn't allow them anymore. "You
know the rules."
It wasn’t like Tadashi didn't respect Hiro's privacy, and vice versa. The elder
Hamada just felt a little more at ease knowing he would be able to easily get
to Hiro if anything were wrong. Any other day he wouldn’t mind when the teen
needed his space. Though right now, after everything the boy has gone through,
Tadashi just couldn't risk leaving him to his own devices. God knows what Hiro
could get himself into, or do to himself if left unattended, and the thought
scared Tadashi. He hated to admit it, but he just couldn't trust Hiro right
now. The boy could be reckless; careless about his own safety quite often, and
that worried not just Tadashi, but everyone close to them. Even worse Tadashi
knew Hiro got a lot of it from him, both brothers never quite being ones to
consider the negatives of their actions. That left Tadashi with fairly stable
knowledge of what his baby brother was capable of, and right now the chances of
Hiro becoming a danger to himself was a very possible reality.
On the other side of the door, Tadashi was met without an answer to his last
statement. In frustration he tried twisting the handle another time, the door
noticeably vibrating from the force he used.
"Hiro, open the door," he tried again, the strength of his voice noticeably
louder. He heard the shower turn off then, and his breathing halted as he
strained his ears to listen. On the other side of the door came muffled
movement: the light contact of bare footsteps, and shuffling of towels. What
was probably only a matter of seconds seemed like an eternity to Tadashi before
the clicking of the lock left the door opening before him.
Tadashi was met by an annoyed looking Hiro who consequently didn't hesitate to
glare daggers up at his older brother while he swept his soaked hair out of his
eyes. The boy kept most of his body hidden behind the door, and only his face
peeking out from behind.
"What do you want?" Mild irritation was apparent, but there was no coldness in
his voice.
"I–" Tadashi was suddenly at a loss for words, a little surprised at Hiro's
sudden change in demeanor since the night before. The boy just raised his
eyebrows as if in impatience. "I... made lunch, if you're hungry," Tadashi
finally said with a small motion towards the bedroom, momentarily forgetting
the reason they were both standing there. The air suddenly seemed very heavy
around them.
Each stood briefly holding awkward eye contact before Hiro broke it when he
dropped his eyes to the floor. Tadashi watched as his features dropped, the boy
letting his eyes close, cheeks puffing when they released a short breath,
almost in quiet understanding. "Give me a second."
Before Tadashi could say anything Hiro had closed the door again, leaving his
older brother to stand there a little astonished for several long moments. And
when the door swung open a second time, Hiro moved separate from it to stand
center to the door frame as he ensured the towel over his shoulders was secure.
He had a second matching towel tied around his waist, both working together
quite well to hide a majority of his small body.
The older student immediately took a step back as the teen stepped forward,
passing by without a second glance. As Tadashi seemed to suddenly remember the
incident with the lock he followed Hiro to their bedroom, starting to prepare a
lecture in his head, but a too quick turn on Hiro's part caused a towel to
flare. It lifted enough for Tadashi to catch a glimpse of a dark bruise on
Hiro's hip, the mark almost in the shape of a hand. Everything he wanted to say
was washed away by red as he felt his blood boil.
Hiro continued to his side of the room and Tadashi felt himself stop in their
doorway. If asked he wasn't sure he would be able to explain what he was
feeling at that moment.
Without notice or a word to add, and only a quick glance at the food on his
dresser, Hiro proceeded to start shifting through the drawers, one hand still
securely clutched to the towel that was covering his torso. In little time he
had his selected outfit laid across his bed, but instead of changing he glanced
towards his brother. Hiro frowned.
Tadashi stood leaning against the frame, arms half crossed and one hand against
his mouth as he watched Hiro under furrowed brows. He looked to be stuck
between being in pain or deep in thought and Hiro was about to question it when
Tadashi suddenly dropped his hand away, speaking first.
"Are you... Okay? If you're in pain I can–or Baymax–either of us can try to
help if... If you're hurting." Tadashi seemed to have trouble finding the
words, but the concerned glance he gave Hiro was enough to convey the question
alone.
He watched as Hiro's face turned a shade darker, the boy dropping his glance to
the floor as he pulled the towel tighter over himself. "Baymax - Baymax already
scanned me..."
Tadashi's eyes widened a little. He had been in the room with Hiro most of the
day, minus the odd quick trips when he needed something and when he got up to
make them lunch. He was surprised Baymax had managed to check over Hiro in the
time he was downstairs. "...And?" Tadashi hesitantly whispered, afraid to know
the extent of the damage.
Hiro briefly glanced up before sighing and turning to take a seat on his bed.
"He said, well... There's nothing major or of "immediate concern" and I should
heal without an issue. Other than some things hurt," he paused briefly, eyes
lidded as he focused on the skateboard near his wall. His voice finished no
louder than a whisper, "It's not like there's a lot that can be done for it."
"Do you–Do you mind if I take a look?" Tadashi felt something in his chest
twist as the boy looked up under still wet hair, the odd water drop falling to
land on the towel. He entered the room slowly, mindful of how he approached
Hiro's bed.
As the boy seemed to finally comprehend what was just asked his eyes grew wide
like he was going to panic, and Tadashi readied to take back the question and
his approach as he halted at the foot of the bed. But before he could, Hiro
suddenly blinked and looked away, hanging his head as he nodded, and he let the
towel fall from his shoulders.
Tadashi wasn't prepared to see what he did. When the towel revealed the
colorful marks littering his poor brothers skin he felt his knees grow weak,
and it wasn't long before he found himself taking a seat next to Hiro on the
bed.
He instantly felt his eyes scanning, taking in everything from small scuffs to
what he feared might scar. Along Hiro's back were several bite marks, one
brutal one almost glowing on his right shoulder that Tadashi immediately grew
worried about. Bruises painted almost everywhere around them, more dark ones
than light, all trailing over his back. His abdomen held the biggest and most
noticeable though, as they connected to the ones on his hips. The rest seemed
to trail down and underneath the second towel.
Although Tadashi had seen some of the damage back in the alley, and again when
changing Hiro, most of it had gone unnoticed because of the poor lighting and
how fresh the sores actually were. Now, with time to set and proper light,
Tadashi was not only given a showcase but also a fairly good idea of what
happened. And the picture made his stomach turn.
"Is it alright if–if I..." Tadashi wasn't completely sure how to go about it,
but Hiro seemed to understand what he was asking.
"Yeah... Go ahead," he nodded again, still avoiding eye contact.
Tadashi brought his hands up slowly, lightly bringing one to cup Hiro's
shoulder. The boy tensed at first, shivering at the feeling but eventually
relaxed, and if anything found comfort in his brothers touch.
His first area of focus was the bite mark, and as Tadashi drew slightly closer
for inspection he felt his brother shiver again.
"You okay?" Tadashi stopped everything to glance at Hiro, a familiar look of
concern already on his face.
"Y–yeah, I’m fine," Hiro replied, swallowing hard, "It’s just sore..."
Tadashi looked unconvinced. "Hiro, if you need me to stop–"
"I'm fine, Tadashi,” he said with more strength, turning to look at his brother
this time.
"Just let me know if you want me to stop… for whatever reason. Okay?" Tadashi
cleared, barely catching Hiro's features soften before the boy turned his
attention back to the floor.
Tadashi continued to gently prod at the mark, determining the severity. The
wound wasn't horribly deep, and it appeared Hiro had already cleaned it in the
bathroom anyways, so infection seemed unlikely. Gently Tadashi started moving
his fingers to other areas, pressing on spots that could hold a problem, and
asking what hurt and what didn't. While he moved he made sure to also keep an
eye on Hiro, for any state of discomfort or pain, but his brother seemed
completely fine. Tadashi even watched as Hiro's eyes eventually slipped closed.
In no time Tadashi found that Hiro had been right; he had no major injuries,
and he figured most of the bruises would heal within the week. Though Tadashi
reminded himself to also check Baymax’s data later, just to make sure there was
nothing else of concern that he was unable to… personally check over.
As he finished, hands still resting on Hiro's back, Tadashi suddenly found he
couldn't pull away. Absent mindedly he found his hands still massaging his baby
brother’s skin, rubbing the pads of his fingers over every mark he could reach
as if they could be erased with enough contact. Soon he found his arms wrapping
around Hiro's middle, gently pulling the smaller male into himself, but being
mindful incase the other were to show any discomfort or rejection. Hiro was
surprised, but he didn't object, and instead leaned further into Tadashi's
embrace.
"I'm sorry this happened," Tadashi mumbled beside Hiro's shoulder, his breath
crawling over Hiro's skin and making the bite there tingle, "If I could change
it–make things right again... I would give anything."
"You know it's not your fault," Hiro said, voice growing noticeably thicker
with unstated emotion, "You're not responsible."
"But you are my responsibility," Tadashi stressed, "You're my baby brother,
and..." He closed the space between Hiro's injured shoulder and his own lips to
place a quick kiss on the bite, with a wish the action was enough to heal while
ensuring the truth behind what he said next. "And I love you, Hiro... If I
can't protect you..." He trailed off mumbling against Hiro's shoulder.
"I love you too," Hiro whispered, and if the boy was at all fazed by the new
affection, he was hiding it well. "But I just want to move on, Tadashi... I
want to forget it ever happened.”
===============================================================================
Tadashi tried for weeks to forget, but no matter how hard he pressed to ignore
the ever reminding rage away, he wasn’t able to. As much as Hiro told him to
drop it, or leave it alone, he just couldn't. Especially not when he had come
to know who was responsible – or rather he could at least match a face to the
offender.
The weeks following had gone back to a mostly regular routine, both boys
continuing at SFIT after a few days. Tadashi was careful to keep Hiro in sight
nearly everywhere they went, which Hiro was slightly annoyed about at first,
but eventually accepted because he knew it would help ease his brother’s mind.
Though the physical wounds started to fade, Hiro's injuries healing without an
issue, mentally the teen found more difficult, as was understandable. No one at
school noticed much of a difference in Hiro, but living together it was easy
for Tadashi to see. He saw small changes, like lack of motivation, to large and
common occurrences such as night terrors that seemed to plague the boy nearly
every night. Hiro would wake up, screaming, crying, sometimes to the severity
of waking up Aunt Cass. This led to many nights where Tadashi would end up
sleeping with Hiro so he could easily catch them in time and be there for
support. This left the student himself with many sleepless nights.
Tadashi knew the face of whoever did his to Hiro, and also knew he couldn't
just stand by while this man got away with it. But at the same time he also
knew he couldn't leave Hiro unattended as of now. So while grounded he made a
habit of research sessions; memorizing tournament patterns and hangouts,
background checks on infamous fighters, and ultimately finding a name to the
face. Though he spent so much time learning the information, that he never
contemplated what exactly he was going to do with it…
Cadoc.
As the name flashed across his laptop screen, one of many aliases entered by
fighters all over San Fransokyo, Tadashi felt anger hot enough to blind. A part
of him was suddenly fully aware of his intent, while half of him argued – not
that he listened.
It had been just over two weeks after the incident; Hiro being nightmare free
for a record of three days when he finally figured he was safe to leave.
Tadashi was tired, body numb and mind clouded from lack of sleep, but he had
been waiting days for an opportunity like this. He had a face, a name, and
several locations to start his search, though he wasn’t entirely sure of a
plan. Then again he didn’t exactly care enough to have one sorted either,
because that would mean he’d have to think about what he was getting himself
into and what he was also risking. Logic was arguing, but only anger was
driving his thoughts right now, and they had been for a while.
After watching Hiro go to bed, and hearing Cass follow suit within the hour,
did Tadashi make a final decision. When he knew certain Hiro was asleep, he
made quietly out of the room, grabbing his helmet and keys for the scooter at
the door. He only paused when passing the kitchen, stopping at the bottom of
the stairs in thought momentarily. Next second he found himself on the other
side of the counter, quietly shifting through drawers until he revealed a small
knife, one Aunt Cass often used for intricate designs when slicing for catering
orders. It was small enough to be concealed easily, and deciding protection was
an absolute must, he slipped it into his coat pocket before continuing out the
door. At least he lied to himself that that’s what it was for.
Less than a twenty minute drive later and Tadashi found himself along the
darkest streets of San Fransokyo, neon signs alive and buzzing warmly as if in
welcome. He came to park his scooter in an alley, following the same routine
the night he found Hiro, and concealing his only ride home with whatever was
available before entering the streets.
The walk to the first location he had in mind wasn't too far, and Tadashi only
hoped what he chose to wear tonight would keep attention away from him. An old
black coat, hood drawn, still wasn't enough to keep out the chill though, he
regretted. Or maybe it wasn't the cold that had him shaking.
The first place he entered was a pub, well known in the fighting community and
hard to find to those who weren't looking for it – but Tadashi had done his
research. Following a narrow alley, with a few hard to find turns, led him to a
back door with a heavy handle. Through it he was greeted by an intimidating
looking bouncer and Tadashi was quick to pay the cover charge, having expected
as much.
The area was booming with sound, the noise from the commotion and music of
equal contribution and causing the floor to vibrate under Tadashi. Looking over
the crowd he guessed fighters from every side of city were probably here – one
of the reasons he thought this a good place to start. He knew this was one of
the biggest known spots for fighters to gather, both for the secrecy of the
location and the total cut off from the outside world. Down here there really
were no rules, and Tadashi guessed Hiro may not have even managed to get down
here before, if he even knew of the place at all.
Because of how out of the way it was, there were also a good majority of bot
fights held here. And along with supporting tournaments it had also been
altered as sort of a safe haven for those of the bot fight scene. So along with
many chairs and places to lounge, Tadashi also caught sight of several battle
circles and abandoned scraps littered along the walls. The people appeared to
mostly keep to themselves, or among their designated tables and groups, some
noticeably more rowdy than others.
Navigating through the crowds Tadashi began scanning for someone who appeared
at least mildly approachable. He eventually decided on an older looking man,
sitting alone at a table. When Tadashi approached he could already smell the
alcohol on the other, and the man didn't bother looking up from his drink.
"Uh, excuse me sir?" Tadashi spoke as well as he could over the noise of the
room, and when the man still didn't acknowledge him he tried a second time,
“Sir? I was wondering if you'd be able to help me."
The man looked up from under grey eyebrows, expression unchanging, but he
didn't answer. Tadashi took that as an opportunity to continue.
"I was just wondering if," he paused to take a piece of paper from his pocket,
before unfolding it in the table, "You'd happen to know where I can find
Cadoc?" Tadashi honestly doubted he would get anywhere tonight, but it was
worth a try. Even a lead would be something.
The elderly man's eyes shifted to the paper, scanning over the slightly blurred
photo Tadashi had taken from MegaBot’s footage. His shoulders shifting slightly
as he studied it before looking back at the young man in front of him.
"Who wants to know?" he spoke for the first time, his speech slightly slurred
but not misunderstood.
"I do. For a fight. I've heard he's quite the challenge to take down," Tadashi
lied.
"Well you've heard wrong boy," the man snorted, "Cadoc's best bot was scrapped
by a kid not two weeks ago. Barely worth your time in my opinion."
Tadashi wasn't sure how he managed to keep a straight face.
"Do you know where I can find him?" he ignored the statement, pushing for a
proper answer.
"Sure," the man lifted an oil stained hand to point across the hall. Tadashi
found his eyes focus on the opposite corner, a dark booth barely visible in the
already poor lighting. He barely caught his jaw from dropping when he saw the
man he had been looking for, everything up to the tattoo exactly how he
remembered it.
"Thank you," he finished, scooping up the paper from the table before walking
away. The man gave Tadashi an odd glance, but nodded before taking another swig
from his drink, quickly losing interest.
A million things started swimming through Tadashi's head at once, and he wasn't
sure what to focus on. He felt the strength of adrenaline the closer he got to
the table. His mind flashed between rage and fear, not sure which one drove his
next actions, but it was dizzying. Then he realized who was accompanying the
man he felt so much rage towards, and he knew he had to show restraint.
Cadoc, attention lost on the other’s at his table, seemed oblivious to anyone
else outside the booth. He was without a care in the world, because he had
protection, Tadashi was quick to notice that as he spotted the two broad
shouldered men from the night he found Hiro. This time logic won, and Tadashi
was quick to retreat. He turned, feeling frustration take over everything, but
Tadashi ultimately knew he would have to wait to get what he came for, and with
agitation he took a seat at an empty table. He chose a spot with some distance,
though still with a clear view to Cadoc’s booth. And like a hawk, he waited
with patience, and in silence.
Just the look of the man was enough to infuriate, and Tadashi was thankful when
he didn’t have to wait long for Cadoc to separate from his group. Making a
small gesture, the man stood, saying something to the others at the table,
which went unheard by Tadashi. Next he was talking to one of his guards, and
Tadashi feared they were about to leave together, but to his relief both guards
stayed seated as Cadoc walked away.
Tadashi felt his heart accelerate in apprehension when he realized the man was
walking in his direction, and casting his eyes downward, prayed not to be
recognized. Cadoc paid no mind to him, just the same as the first time Tadashi
encountered the man. And after Tadashi threw one last glance towards Cadoc’s
men, seeing both absorbed in their own conversation, did Tadashi rise to follow
the other.
He pursued the bot fighter, following him into a hallway and towards what he
guessed would be a bathroom. But as Cadaoc was about to open the door, Tadashi
loudly cleared his throat, making the other man sharply turn, surprised. The
hallway was empty, aside from the two of them, and Tadashi figured there likely
wasn’t going to be an opportunity like this any other time.
As Cadoc turned, Tadashi was given a full view of the man in front of him, and
he had to stop himself from lashing out and strangling him right there.
Restraint left him to stand there, lips in a thin line as he made first eye
contact with his brother’s rapist.
Tadashi found himself at a loss for words; all he seemed to see was red.
"The fuck do you want, kid?" the man's expression spelled annoyance with his
tone, as he was the first to break the silence.
"You're Cadoc?" Tadashi found his voice, but it shook. Looking at the inked
dragon on the other’s arm, he already knew the answer, but asked because he
honestly didn’t know what else to start with. He tried to undo his clenched
fists stuffed in his pockets without success.
"Uh, yeah, that’s the name I fight with," the man looked down the hall before
answering with a laugh, obviously amused.
"Then I'm here for my brother.”
Cadoc's brow creased in confusion momentarily, his lips parting in question
before he seemed to remember. A cruel smile then curled over his features,
making Tadashi’s blood boil.
“You’re another Hamada then. Hiro’s brother, yeah?” Cadoc asked, laughing after
the question. Tadashi was surprised and a little terrified he knew that much
about Hiro, and he was suddenly fearful towards what else this man might
possibly know of.
Before Tadashi could say anything else, Cadoc had cast him scowl before
suddenly turning, walking away and further down the hall. He was moving so
quick Tadashi barely had time to comprehend the man was leaving, so he did the
only thing that came to mind, and followed. A part of him knew what he was
doing, and the other part didn't seem to care why he was doing it. So Tadashi,
left blind by loathing, followed Cadoc around the corner.
It wasn't long before Tadashi felt himself roughly grabbed and dragged into a
room, the force enough to shove him onto the floor. He landed hard on his
chest, feeling the breath knocked out of him. Behind him he heard footsteps and
a door close.
Disoriented Tadashi looked up to find the walls and floor lined with destroyed
and broken bot parts, along with discarded tools and other garbage. There were
several counters filled with tools for both fixing and taking apart robots, and
Tadashi guessed he was in a scrap room.
He groaned as he moved to lift himself off the floor, but a heavy boot against
his back forced him back down, causing him to grunt in pain.
"You know it's too bad Hiro can’t keep a secret," Cadoc laughed, his voice
echoing slightly in the room. Tadashi felt the sharp pain of a knee suddenly
digging into his back and had to fight not to cry out. "Guess you’ll have to
pay for your brother's mistake."
Tadashi growled, but a hand in his hair yanking his head back cut him short
when he felt the sharp metal of a knife under his chin. He was sure he felt his
heart stop.
"I could end your worthless life right here," he threatened, slapping the face
of the blade against the skin of Tadashi's neck, which elicited a startled gasp
from the student. "Or..." Tadashi then felt the knife begin moving in a
circular motion, lightly massaging under his jugular as if in reassurance. "We
could also fool around a bit – I mean, I'd only be keeping my word to Hiro that
way, right?"
It sickened Tadashi to remember that Hiro was in the same place he was now,
barely two weeks ago. But he would be damned if he was going to let it end the
same way. He jerked his body to try for freedom but the increasing pressure of
the blade quickly halted all movement. The man above him chuckled sadistically
at the response.
Tadashi couldn't stop the curse that came with his next breath. He knew if he
could just reach the knife in his own pocket, and reach it fast enough, this
whole thing could be over.
The blade was suddenly withdrawn and with it his hair released leaving Tadashi
to barely stop his chin from colliding into the floor. He froze as he felt a
hand run over his shoulders and down his spine, then over his sides as he
noticed his coat being pat down. Before he realized what was happening, he felt
Cass's knife being confiscated from his pocket.
"Look what I found," Cadoc laughed but there was a hint of surprise in his
voice, "Got this in grandma's pantry did we? Tell me, what were you planning to
do with it exactly? Skin a mouse?" Tadashi could barely turn his head enough to
cast a glare over his shoulder. Cadoc smiled before tossing the small blade to
the other side of the room, where it loudly landed unknown by Tadashi. He
suddenly felt lost; hopeless without it.
"I can see how you two are related, you know," he said making Tadashi tense,
"Same stubbornness. Same eyes. Hell, maybe you'll even make the same pretty
faces he did when I fucked him raw." Tadashi snarled another attempt to get up
failed.
"Don't you fucking talk about him!" Cadoc could feel the pure rage trembling
through the younger man's body.
"Strike a nerve, did we?" he smirked, the sudden gleam in his eye hard to miss,
even by Tadashi. He felt the pressure on his back move away then, but before he
could react to it his wrists were being pinned on either side of his head,
trapping him a second time. The presence behind him suddenly felt that much
closer. Tadashi wasn't sure where Cadoc's knife had gone, but he knew well
enough that it would be in reach if needed.
"He begged me to stop, you know... You're gonna do the same." Tadashi felt a
breath hit the back of his neck and he shivered, rage consuming him. "He cried,
too."
"Shut up." Tadashi shrugged under the hold.
"Are you going to cry?" Cadoc was next to Tadashi's ear now. "Are you going to
be a good boy like he was? You going to come for me, like your brother did?"
"Shut up!" Tadashi twisted, lurching his body and shaking the man above him,
but not enough to remove his weight. Instead the movement did the opposite,
causing the other body to push further against his backside. Tadashi swore he
could now feel every part of Cadoc over top of him, and it made his stomach
churn.
"It was obvious the kid’d never done it before," he laughed, Tadashi's
irritation only encouragement to continue, "How does it feel to know I was the
one to take his virginity–?"
"I said shut the fuck up!" All Tadashi felt was heated anger, and it consumed
him; blinded him. He was twisting again, trying to break free, but a
repositioned hand shoving his face to the floor quickly discontinued the
struggle. He felt the body atop him grind down and suddenly another hand was
rubbing at the skin under his clothes. Unintentionally Tadashi bucked to try
and throw the other off but it only resulted in more contact along with an ugly
groan of pleasure to emit from behind him.
"Fuck you," Tadashi growled, lashing out at the same time and throwing an elbow
behind him in hopes of striking something. He hit nothing, and his face was
pressed harder into the floor while his arm was grabbed and restrained. He
cried out when he felt it forcefully twisted behind his back, causing him to
cease any struggling with the pain.
Cadoc gave a pleased chuckle the moment he felt the body below him fall limp.
"Now there's a good boy," he hissed, making sure to keep his weight firmly
pressed over the younger male. With his cheek pressed into the floor, Tadashi
gritted his teeth when he felt the man above him shift his weight, the focus of
pressure now mostly against his ass. "I can't wait to hear you beg."
The hand on his head was suddenly removed, and Tadashi's eyes went wide when he
felt them travel to his belt buckle. In one final desperate attempt, Tadashi
tried for freedom. As the fingers worked blindly to loosen his clothing, he
forced his body to turn. His restrained arm painfully worked against the
motion, though Tadashi was too caught in the moment to care. He wasn't sure if
the unexpected surge of strength came from the adrenaline, or if it was driven
by anger; he was just thankful it worked and that for once the effort wasn't
futile.
Above him Tadashi felt the body thrown off as he rolled onto his back. He
grabbed hold of his own arm, the hot shock of pain he felt erupt in his
shoulder hard to ignore, but bearable.
Tadashi had minimal time to recover before Cadoc was back on top of him,
another furious struggle for dominance as Tadashi felt the back of his head
collide harshly into the floor with the force that slammed against him. He
groaned, attempting to find the strength to push the other off while ignoring
the throbbing in his shoulder and skull. A hand twisting into his hair left
Tadashi to clench his eyes shut as he felt his head tipped back and the knife
pointed back to his throat.
"Listen you little prick," Cadoc growled, roughly jerking his hand and causing
Tadashi to inhale sharply, "You can either fucking cooperate, or this is going
to get a lot uglier than it has to be."
Tadashi ground his teeth, before he reached up to grab hold of the hand with
the knife. It was a struggle, but once he was sure the blade was a safe
distance away from his neck, Tadashi brought a knee up, striking what he
guessed was the others stomach. Instantly he felt Cadoc's grip loosen as the
man recoiled, and while still being careful of the blade Tadashi took advantage
of the others temporary weakness to strike a well-aimed punch.
Everything that happened next was a blur. His thoughts were driven by anger and
fear, both emotions in a war to inspire his next move. The rage that had built
in Tadashi was urging him to attack; to strike Cadoc while he was stunned and
still cradling his bleeding face. However fear cleared some of the shroud,
directing Tadashi's attention to the knife Cadoc still firmly held. The
horrifying speculation was enough to momentarily cut through the fog of
Tadashi's mind, as logic outweighed every other option. He was unarmed,
vulnerable, and he knew he needed to create some distance between himself and
the threat at hand before a backlash.
Like a dog that had been kicked, Tadashi shrunk away, backing off with a quick
push on the floor. His journey ended abruptly however when his shoulders
roughly met with the side of a counter making him wince, the force of the
impact enough to rattle what was on top of it. He flinched when he felt several
objects roll off it to fall around and on top of him.
When the avalanche ceased, Tadashi glanced over the mess, scanning over the
scattered parts in search of anything that could be useful for defense. At
first he thought certain his eyes were playing tricks on him when he spotted
Aunt Cass's knife among the heap.
Movement ahead of him had his attention next, and Tadashi was quick to snatch
the kitchen blade, the knife small enough to easily conceal behind a closed
fist. He only hoped Cadoc hadn't seen him move for it.
"Fuck." Tadashi looked up as the man cursed, his eyes slanted as they locked
back on the student. Cadoc appeared to not notice the other male was armed.
"You're going to fucking regret that," he growled, wiping away some of the
blood with his sleeve while rising to his feet.
It took Cadoc all of three heated steps to close the distance between the two.
Tadashi had no time to react before he was being dragged to his feet by the
front of his shirt, and slammed against a nearby wall. He cried out when the
force agitated the pain in his shoulder, but he managed to keep the knife in
hand the entire way, grasping it like a lifeline and almost cutting his hand as
a result.
"Mess with a bull, and you get the horns, kid." Tadashi felt the knife against
his stomach then, the pressure of the blade outlined clearly through the fabric
of his clothes, though not strong enough to penetrate yet. "I'm starting to
feel you're not worth the hassle." Tadashi unintentionally grimaced as the
blade was pressed harder against his naval. "So I'll make this short..."
Tadashi let the kitchen knife slide out between his fingers then, the blade now
visible to Cadoc if he had been looking for it. Tadashi knew the weapon to his
stomach was still potentially harmful, even deadly, and to try anything right
now was reckless. But he didn't care. Now that he was armed, he let his anger
take the reins as Cadoc's final sentence was what caused him to finally boil
over.
"But when I see your brother again, he won't be as lucky, I can promise you
that."
Tadashi lost track of everything, blinded by the rage that encouraged his
almost unconscious decision. He felt like his body was no longer his own, and
when he saw red this time, it was from blood.
Tadashi didn’t feel himself raise his arm, but he did feel the impact of the
knife piercing something solid. A sickening noise Tadashi couldn't begin to
describe, as well as a cut off gasp accompanied it. Though he wasn't entirely
sure what sound had come from whom.
Cadoc’s face twisted; confusion and shock trailing over his features in turn.
Tadashi's breathing grew heavier and more rapid, and he felt almost frozen in
place. Eyes traveling down, they quickly stopped as he spotted his own hand,
fist curled strongly against Cadoc’s throat. The realization of what it meant
left him staring, mouth gaping. His stomach turned as he realized he could feel
his hand pulsing around the knife currently lodged in the other man's neck.
Tadashi felt his muscles start to tremble, as he watched blood begin to pool
and run out from under the weight of the small blade. The pressure from the
other knife had long since receded from Tadashi's stomach to loudly clamber
onto the floor, Cadoc dropping it in favor of reaching to grab hold of Tadashi.
He didn't reach to attack though, but instead for support. One hand twisted
into Tadashi's coat and the other latched to his wrist, as though he was going
to attempt removing the blade.
He watched the man struggle, horror now drawn over Cadoc's face. Tadashi didn't
doubt he held a similar expression as he finally found the strength to retract
the knife, the action driven by his disgust of what he had just done, and
seeming to split the puncture open even more. Blood immediately sprung from the
wound, spraying across Tadashi's line of sight, the display like a scene out of
a horror film. Some of it he felt land on his face and clothing and suddenly he
couldn't see straight.
Cadoc released his hold on Tadashi, and eyes wide, cupped his hands over the
gushing wound; not that it even began to slow the bleeding. For how small it
was, Aunt Cass's knife had gone deep. Combined with where it had stabbed, left
Cadoc with a clearly fatal wound. As he watched the man stumble backwards, his
breathing coming out in garbled, blood coated gasps, Tadashi knew there was no
going back. He wasn't even sure if this was what he had truly wanted.
Watching Cadoc sink to the ground, Tadashi felt the weakness in his own legs
and slid down the wall. He sat in almost mesmerized silence as Cadoc eventually
came to fall still, his struggle for air a losing battle. It didn't take long
for all movement and noise to entirely cease, and though the blood still ran
freely, it was no longer as vigorous. Tadashi knew what he was looking at now
was a dead body.
He let the knife slip from his blood stained fingers as everything began to
sink in.
Tadashi habitually brought his hands to his face intending to run them over his
temple, but stopped when he saw the blood coating them. Instead he briefly
stared, and mortified he moved to try and wipe them clean on his coat, which he
knew to already be tainted with blood. He felt tears begin to fall from his
eyes and had to bring a partially cleaned hand up to muffle a sob that
surfaced.
Suddenly if felt like a veil had been lifted. All that blinding anger and rage
now in the past, replaced only by remorse.
Tadashi had done this for Hiro. For his family; his brother's protection. Out
of hurt, and love, and anger, yes – but still for Hiro. Even if it's not what
his brother would have wanted, Tadashi concluded it was for the best. At least
that was the reasoning he gave himself.
He had just heard firsthand what Cadoc had said, and knew that so long as that
man was breathing, their family and friends were at risk as much as Hiro was.
Cadoc had known Hiro's name, it's hard to say what else he knew, and Tadashi
couldn't take that chance. Yes, he had another's blood on his hands to account
for, but at least they were safe. And that's what he tried to settle on to
justify his actions.
Collecting himself as best as he could, Tadashi rose on slightly trembling
legs. A chill seemed to ghost through the room as Tadashi scanned over the
bloody mess coating the floor, and he hugged his arms against his chest with a
small shiver. He unintentionally caught sight of Cadoc's lifeless, lidded eyes
staring in his direction and felt light headed. There was no doubt the man was
dead, but the freshly glazed look his eyes carried were enough to remind
Tadashi life had been present barely minutes ago.
Breathing hard he pressed to get his thoughts in order, now avoiding looking
towards the body entirely. He knew Cadoc had friends – or whoever the people at
his table were. Likely they would begin to grow suspicious without his return,
meaning someone would come looking eventually. On top of that were the two
broad shouldered men Cadoc was always seen with. The bodyguards (or whatever
they were) were people he definitely didn’t want to have a run in with.
Tadashi knew he needed to be furtive and he needed to cover his tracks. And
although the chances of the police getting involved in this were slim, he
wasn't about to risk the odds. Anything that could lead to him, and to his
family, had to go. Discretion at a time like this was vital.
With a shaky breath, Tadashi bent down to grab Aunt Cass's knife, not bothering
to wipe it clean of blood before sticking it in his coat pocket. While doing so
he glanced over his own clothes, and although they were dark enough for the
blood to seem invisible, a quick pat over his coat ensured him it was
definitely still there. He easily felt the already half dried stains under his
fingers, along with many still damp spots.
Catching sight of his reflection across the room in a bent sheet of scrap
metal, Tadashi carefully stepped around the corpse to get to it, using the
reflection to check over the rest of his body. His appearance had a splatter of
blood on its face, and with a slight look of repulsion and horror, Tadashi
worked quickly to wipe it away with his coat sleeve. He then attempted to wipe
the remaining blood from his hands, but with less successful results, he
ultimately lost patience tucking them back into his sleeves instead. And after
a final glance over his clothing, double checking to ensure no blood was
visible, Tadashi then pulled his hood up. The last thing he needed was someone
remembering his face.
After a quick sweep of the room, and a last, almost spiteful glance towards the
body, did Tadashi leave the shop. The body was pointless to move he figured,
and trying to hide it would only waste energy and time. Besides, he knew it
would already be hard for anyone to find where it was now. After all, Cadoc had
dragged him in here for just that, only it was supposed to be his own dead body
on the floor.
Tadashi paused momentarily at the door, before using his sleeve to turn the
handle, opening it with caution. He was relieved to find the hallway still
abandoned, and after silently closing the door behind him, he left the scene.
Shoving his hands down into his pockets, Tadashi almost jumped when he felt the
sharpness of the knife in one. Lightly he curled his fingers around it and kept
walking, turning his head down and not daring to catch anyone's eye on the way
out. He had been lucky enough to blend into a small crowd unnoticed that was
also leaving, but felt his heart hammering in his chest with every step closer
to freedom. The music was still blaring, and everyone seemed to pay no mind to
him, including the bouncer at the exit. Even when outside he didn't stop to
look back, or even slow down. He kept the same pace, every step of the way, and
right to the alley holding his scooter.
After a quick scan over the bins, Tadashi spotted the pile he left the bike
under. With aggression he started removing the trash, tossing the bags with
enough force for a few to actually break open. He pushed the bike out with the
same strength, almost causing it to topple over. Tadashi knew there were tears
brimming his eyes as he felt anger begin to surface again, though it wasn't
directed towards another person; this time it was on him.
Tadashi exasperated, stopped to run a hand over his forehead, then through his
hair as he dug the knife from his pocket. The blade still shone with blood, and
after almost glaring at it, Tadashi turned, using his good arm to throw it
away. He watched it clutter against the cement, before rolling under one of the
dumpsters, and out of sight. He stared at the bin momentarily before deciding
to take off his coat as well, the outermost item reeking of blood, as he
discarded it in the nearest dumpster.
The drive home was anything but peaceful, the gears in his head never seeming
to stop. Tadashi tried his best to focus solely on the road ahead. The cold he
felt from being left in only a t-shirt as well as the pain he felt in his
shoulder served as a constant reminder of his wrongdoing.
At the café, he found it as easy to sneak back into the house as it was to
sneak out, and Tadashi was just as careful to keep quiet. He made his way up
the stairs with caution, watching to possibly not trip over a sleeping Mochi if
the cat decided to be resting on the stairs. He stopped only briefly at the
shared room to make sure Hiro was in still bed, which Tadashi was thankful to
see true. A small lump was visibly rising and falling lightly underneath the
covers, the sound of heavy breathing filling the room. Tadashi almost smiled.
Instead he casted an apologetic glance, before continuing to the bathroom,
immediately going for the sink, and not really thinking to shut the door
completely. He turned the sink on and grabbed an old bar of soap, his new focus
only to get rid of the remaining blood that still stuck to his fingers. He
scrubbed hard at the dried mess, not sure whether to feel relieved or disgusted
when he watched the water run red. Effort paid off though, and it wasn't long
before everything was spotless leaving Tadashi to nearly sigh in relief. When
he turned the sink off he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror, and
suddenly he felt light headed.
Now that he had a chance to properly look over himself, Tadashi saw nothing but
a wreck. He looked drained, and exhausted. His hair was disheveled, bags were
clear under his eyes, and the eyes alone looked almost colorless; lifeless.
What were usually chocolate brown irises, filled with warmth, appeared dark and
cold. He also noted how pale he was, bringing his hands up to smooth over his
color drained cheeks. Then he ran over his hair and winced as he felt the bump
already forming at the back of his head. He didn't doubt the rest of his body
would have similar bruises and welts painted over his skin, he figured as he
felt the hot throb in his shoulder make itself known. Baymax would be useful
right about now, but he didn't want to wake Hiro up.
With a slight grimace Tadashi let his back meet the wall, mindful of his
shoulder as he slid down to the floor. He was freezing, but tried not to pay
mind to it. He also didn't pay mind to the tears that began to pour over his
cheeks, or the way he bit his lip so hard he tasted copper.
Shaking, Tadashi brought his knees to his chest, and for the first time since
his parents died, he cried himself to sleep.
Chapter End Notes
     ............. I'm sorry ...................
     Next chapter is the last.
***** Lust, Love, and Redemption *****
Chapter Notes
     1.5 million years later... a wild final chapter appears
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Hiro was surprised to find a nightmare wasn’t what woke him tonight, but
instead Mochi. After pouncing onto the bed, the teen had been greeted by a face
full of soft fur when the calico rubbed against his forehead in search of
attention, and with a short groan Hiro had complied with the pestering. He
quietly cursed the cat under his breath before moving to scratch behind its
ears, the bell of the collar jingling with the movement.
Guessing Aunt Cass had likely shut Mochi from her room on accident again, he
moved over to make space for Mochi, hoping the cat would settle down quickly so
he could go back to sleep. Though the moment Hiro scooted over, he quickly
became aware of the missing person that should have been there, and a double
take over his shoulder indeed confirmed the rest of the bed to be empty.
“Tadashi?” Hiro felt his voice crack, weak from disuse in sleep. When he was
met without a response, he turned over, feeling his eyes scanning for a
presence that wasn’t there. While mindful of Mochi, he began to sit up and
squinted through the dim of the room in search of his brother, still surprised
when he found no one. However barely on the outskirts of his deserted bedroom,
Hiro had caught a small trace of light hardly illuminating the stairwell. The
light’s source, overflowing past the bathroom door that had been left ajar
merely the width of a straw, gave off a steady but elusive glow that shone down
the length of the railing.
Hiro felt his nerves level when he presumed Tadashi had only needed the
washroom, and silently he waited for his brother’s return. For a while he
continued offering attention to the fat Calico, Mochi eventually coming to
settle up against his side, and purring like a lawn mower. Though it wasn’t
long before he started to grow weary, and when he heard no sound of movement or
running water, Hiro found himself begin to fidget in apprehension.
Sweeping his legs out from under the covers, he stood off the bed while
ignoring Mochi’s loud mewl of protest. He contemplated just going back to
sleep, though he felt there was no point if Tadashi wasn’t going to be there
beside him. As he approached the bathroom, Hiro kept his ears toned, straining
to hear any trace of activity from within, but all he managed to hear was the
quiet padding of his bare feet against the hardwood floor. The door was open
slightly, though not nearly enough to see inside, and that left Hiro to
hesitate before he finally brought himself to knock.
“Tadashi?” he tried a second time, keeping his voice low, but again he heard no
answer, or sound in general. He faltered before he found himself guiding the
door open, the sudden brightness of the room leaving him momentarily blind. But
past the shock of the light and out of the corner of his eye, almost completely
hidden behind the door, he caught a glimpse of the smallest movement. Hiro
wasn’t even sure how he had noticed it; the uneven rise and fall of a form
caused by inaudible but deep breaths. And when he finally turned he found his
missing brother come into view.
Against the wall, Tadashi sat on the floor, curled into himself with his legs
to his chest, face hidden in his arms. A seemingly uncomfortable position, yet
he appeared to be lost in sleep.
“Tadashi?” Hiro’s aim for silence turned out pointless, and he winced when his
voice echoed loudly off the bathroom walls. Not wanting to unintentionally wake
Aunt Cass, he closed the door behind him before kneeling down to his brother’s
level. “Tadashi?” he tried again, lifting his arm this time to shake his elder
brother experimentally. Almost immediately Tadashi jolted to the touch, before
he lifted his head in a manner that made it look like he had just been shocked.
The way he came to, almost appeared painful, his face scrunching up, before his
eyes opened in disorientation. Hiro immediately noticed the tear stains that
trailed over his cheeks, and didn’t miss the way Tadashi seemed to tremble
underneath his touch.
“Tadashi what’s wrong?” Hiro didn’t bother to try to hide the worry that shook
his voice.
For a moment Tadashi seemed unable to register who was beside him, looking
through Hiro before his eyes suddenly grew in size. Panic overcame his features
then, as he immediately wiped a sleeve over his face while attempting to gain
back some composure. He tried to stand up after, but suddenly grimaced when he
moved his shoulder and hissed as he slid back down the wall, holding his one
arm in the other as he settled back onto the floor.
Hiro watched the scene, rearing to repeat his question, but Tadashi answered
before he was able.
“I–I’m fine, Hiro. Go back to bed.”
“Doesn’t look like fine to me,” the youngest mumbled, watching Tadashi rub at
his shoulder. Hiro could tell his brother was visibly restraining himself from
cursing. “What did you do? Slip in the shower?” Hiro still sounded concerned,
though there was no ignoring the hint of amusement in his voice. He smirked,
enough to show off his tooth gap, though it was quickly wiped away when he saw
how seriously Tadashi looked at him.
“What?” Hiro pushed, the realization something was still off beginning to weigh
on him.
“Hiro, please, just go back to bed,” he said, running a hand through his
disheveled hair, though he inhaled sharply through his nose with the action.
“I’ll be there in a couple minutes.” His voice was shaking.
Hiro looked over his brother with uncertainty and confusion, noting the bags
under his eyes and the drained color of his face. His clothes were a disaster,
looking as though he had been working a messy project rather than showering. To
say he looked exhausted was an understatement – had he been up all night?
“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on.” Hiro was stern now.
Tadashi groaned, running his hands over his face before leaving one palm
planted over his brow. He kept half his expression hidden while the other arm
slipped to his side; a look of defeat. At first he remained silent, his lips
spread in a thin line like he was trying to drain any emotion from his
features, but when he didn't succeed Hiro could only stare in disbelief as
tears fell down his brother’s cheeks.
“Tadashi…” He was at a loss for words, and the room was quick to fall to
silence, until Tadashi broke it with sob he was unable to keep restrained. Hiro
had never seen his brother like this before – drained, broken, helpless.
Whatever this meant, it was serious.
“Hey...” Hiro felt his voice shake as he brought his hands up, gently cupping
his brother’s own hand and guiding it away from his face, hoping to meet eye to
eye. But Tadashi had his eyes closed firmly, nose crinkled and teeth gritted as
he fought to restrain his dismay. Without much thought Hiro reached up to cup
his brother’s face next, emulating an action Tadashi often used when he was
upset. If it helped calm him, maybe it would help Tadashi. At least he hoped.
Hiro almost winced as he watched Tadashi bite his lip to hold back another sob,
the pressure enough to turn the skin of his bottom lip white. “Tadashi,
please...” Hiro was thankful to have obtained his attention this time, and
Tadashi’s eyes finally opened to focus on the other, although hesitantly.
“Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
Tadashi looked mortified as he seemed to think over what Hiro was asking of
him. He released his lip from the restraint of his teeth to draw in a shaky
breath, as though he was preparing to explain. But instead his eyes only welled
with fresh tears, "I can't, Hiro," he was soon shaking his head out from under
Hiro’s touch to avoid his gaze, looking away with an expression the younger boy
read only as guilt.
Hiro moved away then, sitting back with knitted brows as he studied his
brother. “You don’t trust me?”
Tadashi shook his head, “You know that’s not why, Hiro,” he managed this time,
though his voice was noticeably strained. Hiro snorted then, which surprised
both of them, and Tadashi snapped his chin up meeting tired eyes that read
disbelief.
“So what? You put tracking devices in my stuff for the hell of it? Keep me just
in reach on campus because you think I won’t fuck up?” Hiro scoffed. Tadashi
was rendered speechless. “You don’t trust me,” Hiro mumbled, a look of hurt
evident in his features. “You’ve never trusted me.”
He suddenly felt regret for turning the tables and making this about him, but
he just couldn’t see how it was fair. Tadashi was always expecting his brother
to trust him, though he never considered that Hiro might want that faith
returned just as equally.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Hiro,” Tadashi tried to hide the way his
voice cracked, but failed, “I just… Don’t trust what could happen to you, if
I’m not there to stop it.” He hoped Hiro could understand that much, but all
Hiro understood was that his brother was overprotective. Tadashi would take a
bullet for him – yet he seemed to either forget, or just not realize, that Hiro
wouldn’t hesitate to do the same.
“And you don’t think I can’t feel that way too?” Hiro caught how Tadashi tensed
at the remark. “I worry about you too – you don’t realize it, or maybe you just
don’t care… but I do. I worry. I’m worried now… I’ve noticed you haven’t been
sleeping lately – clearly something’s been eating you. The least you could do
is maybe let me try and help you – just like you’ve helped me. Because this–”
he gestured over Tadashi dramatically, “–is concerning.” Hiro felt his voice
shake throughout everything – he’d never been very good with expressing
himself, but he hoped this would get his point across. “The night you ran into
the fire? I was terrified… You didn’t listen to me, Tadashi, and– I thought I’d
lost you… ” Hiro drew in a shaky breath with the memory, the confession quickly
bringing on tears of his own. “Please–” Hiro felt himself fall forward then,
his arms finding a way around Tadashi’s middle, an action driven from
desperation. “–I don’t want to lose you, Tadashi… I don’t want you to leave
me.”
“I’m sorry Hiro… but I can’t promise you that.” Hiro felt Tadashi’s chest
quiver underneath him with the weight of the statement, before his stomach
jumped with another restrained sob. “I’m so sorry…”
“Why?” Hiro didn’t hide the hurt or confusion in his voice, and silence seem to
be the only answer to his question at first. He froze when he felt tears land
on his shoulder that weren’t his own. He hadn’t been expecting to feel Tadashi
break down underneath him again, and Hiro found himself tightening the embrace
in hopes to help reassure his brother – though it didn’t seem to have the
desired effect.
“I–I’m sorry, Hiro,” Tadashi choked, words almost intangible, his voice
sounding raw and broken, “I am so sorry–I… I killed him, Hiro… I killed him,
I’m sorry…”
Hiro heard an ear splitting sob break next to his head then, the chest he was
curled around convulsing as he questioned whether or not he’d actually heard
correctly.
“What?” he asked, not sure if his voice was able to make past a whisper. He
felt Tadashi pull away from him then, his older brother backing off as though
Hiro had suddenly burst into flames. Hiro, now lacking something to latch on
to, found his arms curl in around his own chest as he watched Tadashi hide his
head in his hands, another disorienting sob seeming to shake the entire
bathroom.
Hiro felt like a weight had just been dropped in the pit of his stomach, his
eyes widening as he mulled over what he questioned having heard. But instead of
jumping to a conclusion on his own, he waited for Tadashi’s answer, unable to
help how his lips parted with the horror of anticipation. Though when neither
spoke, Hiro’s patience quickly evaporated and he hesitantly pushed for some
sort of explanation.
“What did you do? Who...?” he finally whispered, and he knew his voice had a
hint of disbelief in it. What was said didn’t make sense – not coming from
Tadashi, anyways. He was having trouble wrapping his head around how such a
thing could even remotely be possible. And he was suddenly questioning whether
this was some sort of sick prank, maybe something Fred had set up and convinced
Tadashi to do – but then, it couldn’t be. This was too much to be a joke; too
dark for Fred’s tastes, and Tadashi would have never agreed.
Another nightmare, on the other hand, was a little more believable.
As Hiro watched Tadashi run his palms down his cheeks, wiping away some of the
tears that continuously fell, he braced himself for an answer. And after a few
shaky breathes, Tadashi finally provided him with one.
“He–the man who…” His voice faltered, and Tadashi was hesitant to look his
brother in the eye properly. “–The one who hurt you.”
Hiro was barely able to think, let alone come up with what to say. Instead he
stared, mouth agape, as he attempted to fully process exactly what that meant.
But it was difficult – how could one make sense of something, that was so
foreign of a thought,; an unapprehended concept? Hiro had never envisioned his
brother as someone capable of violence. The two just didn’t fit together.
Tadashi had long since broken any eye contact with him, choosing instead to
hang his head. Hiro knew his brother enough to read the expression on his face,
clearly seeing shame and dread from underneath the tears that fell without
change of flow, and Hiro quickly felt he couldn't keep the opposite, more
composed exterior anymore. The tears that already brimmed his eyes, finally
spilled over, words sinking in with a final, harsh understanding. This was
their reality.
The young teen felt his head spin, a million questions, accusations and demands
crossing his mind that he had the sudden urge to bark out – because Tadashi
couldn't just leave him with that. He deserved to know. And he wanted a reason,
he wanted details, he wanted confirmation and reassurance. Most of all he
wanted to know if they were truly safe.
"Are you sure?" Hiro's voice shook, matching his brothers, but somehow managing
to come out clearer. As terrible as this was, Hiro couldn't help but feel the
smallest hope of relief – praying that his family was no longer in threat of
danger, even if his brother might have deliberately gone searching for it.
Tadashi was right here and safe for now, that's the only thing that really
mattered at the moment.
Surprised, the older student had brought his head up at hearing Hiro's
question, the look on his face saying he had been expecting a different
reaction. Hiro watched as his brother nodded his head: yes – not a verbal
answer, but confirmation no less. Still, Hiro needed to know more, he had to be
absolutely sure! "How?" he croaked. Tadashi's eyes noticeably widened, glassy
with tears, and he opened his mouth stuttering a protest. Hiro wouldn't have
any of it, and repeated the question more heavily. "I have a right to know,
Tadashi."
Tadashi searched his sibling's face, but unable to find a trace of uncertainty,
he felt himself give in. His next intake of breath was sharp and shaky as he
readied an answer, unconsciously bringing a hand over his cheek to brush over
the forming stubble. He pressed harder at the skin when he felt his fingers rub
over the irritating grain that mixed with stick of drying tears. "A knife," he
choked, “from the kitchen..." Hiro watched Tadashi grit his teeth, suppressing
what emotion he was able. He felt his eyes widen while his brother explained in
sparing detail. "There was so much blood..." Tadashi finished in a whisper.
Hiro found himself glancing over his brother for said blood (if there was a
lot, surely he would see traces, right?), but not seeing any asked about it
with little thought to the remark. Tadashi quickly explained between small
hitches in his breath that anything that could lead back to himself, or Hiro,
he had disposed of and would be near impossible to find. "Did anyone see you?"
Hiro’s worry doubled when he remembered the company the man kept..
Tadashi shook his head. "Not anyone that would remember." The bouncer who
glances over countless faces every night, along with the intoxicated elderly
man who'd fallen comfortably deep in his glass, would likely not recall him
easily.
"You're sure...? You're absolutely sure there was no one with him who could
have seen you?" Hiro stressed, fearing for his brother’s life should there be
retaliation. Especially since this was all very real, he had to keep reminding
himself; this entire situation felt surreal. This wasn't a nightmare, and the
way Tadashi looked at Hiro as he nodded his head to answer of the question, was
enough alone to confirm it. This had happened. Deep down Hiro knew that, and he
cried as he let that wash over him.
Tadashi's expression screamed pity and guilt, like he was accepting what he
believed Hiro to think of him, and prepared to watch his little brother get up
and run away, or lash out. But Hiro did something that surprised him. With a
final, shaky gasp, Hiro had filled the space between them a second time, lacing
his arms around his older brother’s middle as if his life depended on it.
Tadashi was speechless, but he returned the hug with minimal hesitation.
"I'm glad you're safe," Hiro said, crying into Tadashi’s chest. He guessed this
probably wasn't the most appropriate or comprehensible reaction to finding out
your brother had killed someone: anger, hurt, disgust and fear likely more
understandable feelings. But Hiro also knew this was still Tadashi; still his
big brother. And the boy would always love him, unconditionally.
Tadashi opted to stay quiet at first, eventually coming to rest a hand on
Hiro's head and combing his fingers through the fluffy mess of hair before
smoothing it over while the teen continued to sniffle into his chest. Any
distress or pain he felt before seemed to numb with Hiro's presence.
"He won't be able to hurt you again," Tadashi finally whispered, and Hiro
nodded, aware that Tadashi had done this for him. They sat in silence, their
breathing eventually evening out as both relaxed some. Hiro seemed to be
working to come to terms with their situation, while Tadashi appeared to be
mulling it over. His thoughts were interrupted though when he felt Hiro yawn
against his chest. Without much warning Hiro found himself being helped up,
Tadashi wincing slightly when he trusted too much weight on his injured
arm–though he was quick to readjust. Hiro thought to ask about it, but held his
tongue, figuring he might not want to know. He hadn't realized how close he was
to sleep until he felt his body react with little difference to a rag dolls in
accordance to the movement. But he gained some composure, not wanting to loose
the closeness he had been sharing with Tadashi. Hiro felt himself being led out
of the bathroom, and feeling more asleep than awake mumbled an almost distorted
question towards Tadashi along the lines of inquiring what they were doing.
"Bed. We have classes," Tadashi answered simply as he walked back to Hiro’s
side of the room. Hiro thought briefly on how amazingly Tadashi appeared to
have regained his composure, almost like nothing had even happened. And if not
for the evidence of drying tears still coating Tadashi's face, Hiro might have
wondered again if he actually was dreaming. "We'll talk more tomorrow." All too
soon Hiro felt his body being guided into the familiar softness of his
mattress, Tadashi easily rolling the comforter over him. Hiro frowned at the
loss of contact, and when he realized his brother was about to turn and leave
him there, his arm immediately grasped forward. He was relieved when he caught
the edge of Tadashi's shirt.
"Stay. Please." Hiro couldn't help the edge of worry that frayed his voice. "We
don't have to talk anymore right now, but please don’t leave."
Tadashi smiled sadly, before lightly grabbing hold of Hiro's outstretched hand
and applying a reassuring squeeze. "I will. I'm just going to change." Relieved
to hear, Hiro leaned back, letting Tadashi continue. He watched as Tadashi left
the divider open, and as much as Hiro tried, he couldn't seem to peel his eyes
away as his brother stripped to his boxers, before throwing on a pair of pajama
bottoms and a t shirt. Although it was a sight Hiro was used to seeing by now,
tonight the routine was almost hypnotic, and he found his eyes slipping closed
with an inexplicable sense of calm.
He remembers falling asleep when he felt Tadashi’s familiar weight dip into the
mattress.
===============================================================================
They never did talk more in the morning. In fact the incident was never brought
up again for another week.
When Hiro first woke up, he discovered an empty bed, and upon minimal
searching, soon found Tadashi downstairs, seated at the breakfast table. Not an
unusual sight any other morning, but what was off was how his brother had all
attention zoned on the television. With breakfast in one hand, remote in the
other, Hiro watched as he flipped through channels obsessively. The pattern was
quick to pick up, Tadashi only stopping longer if it was a news channel.
"Tadashi, honey, do you mind finding one station and sticking with it? You're
giving me a headache." Aunt Cass complained from the kitchen, but she didn't
voice any other concerns if she had any.
"Sorry," he apologized quickly, clicking a few more times before setting the
remote flat on the table. Hiro didn’t miss how he had winced when he moved too
quickly, but both remained quiet about it. Tadashi had chosen one of San
Fransokyo's popular news channels, leaving his eyes glued to the screen before
continuing to eat his breakfast as though nothing had happened, and becoming so
engrossed he barely caught Hiro enter the room.
Classes at SFIT turned out not much different than this. Between lectures,
Tadashi would end up checking his phone, and during lab hours he would often
get distracted by the small television set up at the corner of the room. Hiro
understood though; he was equally worried, and so any conversation on the
matter had been placed lower on their list of priorities. It wasn't long before
Hiro found himself checking for news updates as well, scrolling through results
on his laptop and phone when he could.
As the days passed, they slowly became less anxious and the atmosphere calmed
noticeably – at least in Hiro’s case. But Tadashi still seemed worried, still
obsessed over the possibility of the media having knowledge of the crime. A
week of searching and worrying had passed by when Tadashi finally closed the
lid of his laptop. Hiro looked back from his chair expectantly as he heard the
sudden cease of typing.
Tadashi was currently sitting at the end Hiro's bed, legs crossed and laptop
balanced on his lap. Although his one arm had been bundled in a sling for the
past week, it didn’t seem to have discouraged or slowed him down much. Hiro had
been the one to insist Tadashi be scanned by Baymax the morning after, noticing
the obvious discomfort he was in after breakfast, which also didn’t seem to
lessen while they were working in the lab. Naturally Tadashi urged that he was
fine, but Hiro wouldn’t have any of it and eventually activated Baymax himself
with an fake cry of pain. The robot had soon navigated the room to stand before
his irritated inventor, scanning and then informing the brothers of the damage.
Minor bruises (one particularly worse one on the back of his head, though
Baymax said there was no alarm of a concussion, thankfully) and scrapes were no
surprise, along with a sprained shoulder which Hiro had expected was the case.
It wasn’t serious though, and Baymax only recommended a sling, painkillers and
ice packs for swelling. Hiro had made sure they did everything Baymax said –
and even though Tadashi complained it restricted his work, Hiro would still
make sure he wore it for as long as Baymax wanted him to. Both had predicted
people they knew would ask what happened, so Tadashi was left to make with a
simple lie about machinery toppling into him after making sure Hiro had not
only caught on, but would be willing to lie to their friends. Hiro had complied
without a second thought, which left Tadashi to wonder if his brother actually
fully understood the severity of their situation.
By now Tadashi had developed a habit of being in Hiro's side of the room, more
so than his own, lately feeling more at ease when in close proximity to his
brother. Despite everything, he still knew Hiro was the only one who was as
comfortable around him as he could be around the other.
The fourteen year old turned away from his computer desk, spinning in his chair
to face Tadashi. The older student had pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning
slightly, and Hiro couldn't help but smile a little, despite the scene.
"Done?" he asked, a hint of hope in his voice. When Tadashi didn't react or
answer right away, Hiro's brow rose.
"Hiro, I..." Tadashi pulled his hand away, offering his brother a sympathetic
look. "I have to turn myself in. I can't do this."
Hiro took a second to process this information before his face fell.
The idea of losing Tadashi, the one person who's helped him so much through
everything, was a thought he couldn't bear.
"No, Tadashi – you can't just –" Hiro rolled his chair forwards, the side
bouncing against the bed. He reached out grabbing what was close, which ended
up being Tadashi's pant leg, curling his fingers into the fabric like a scared
child. And honestly that's what he felt like right now. The thought of not
having Tadashi here to comfort him anymore – to look out for him - made Hiro
feel completely lost. Even if he complained about most of it regularly, deep
down, he was always grateful. “–You can't just... leave."
An image of bright, burning flames of the expo hall shot up in the back of
Hiro's mind, and his grip grew tighter. He had let Tadashi from his grasp last
time, but this time would be different.
"Hiro, I don't think you understand the severity of –"
"– And I don't think you understand that I need you." Hiro shot the words, not
realizing what he had just said until Tadashi had stopped mid-sentence. Even
though Hiro felt the color begin flushing his cheeks, he still held his grip
firm. Not this time.
"Hiro... What I've done..." His voice wavered, and Hiro felt a slight pang of
guilt. "It's not something that can just be swept under the rug. What I've –
what I've done is unforgivable."
"Then why'd you do it?"Hiro prompted. That had caught Tadashi off guard... "If
you regret it so much, why did you do it?"
Tadashi thought about it and swallowed, Hiro's brown eyes never looking away as
the boy awaited an answer.
“I guess, anger mostly. It's hard to stand by and do nothing, while the person
who hurt someone you love, goes on without consequence," Tadashi said under his
breath, almost slowly. “That’s why Callaghan’s dead.”
“Tadashi, that wasn’t your fault.”
“No, that’s just what everyone thought.”
Hiro stayed silent – he felt like his mind had just disconnected from his body,
taking his voice with it. Tadashi looked away gravely, inhaling sharply before
continuing.
“I managed to get to your microbots before he could. I had the power to save
not only myself, but him as well, yet I didn’t.” Hiro didn’t respond, mostly
from shock. Still, he didn’t make a move to question, letting Tadashi continue.
“Before he died, he tried to convince me why he needed them. He wanted revenge
– for his daughter. But at what cost?” Tadashi risked a glance towards his
brother. “I knew when he attacked me that his intentions weren’t pure – they
were driven by hatred and anger. I’d never seen this side of him before, but I
knew he was out for blood.”
“It wasn’t the fire that killed him – it was me. I knew then, that if he was
willing to dispose of me so easily, just to get to your microbots, he wouldn’t
hesitate to do so to anyone else, including you. I didn’t know what else I
could do – and I guess the neurotransmitter didn’t give the microbots a chance
to hesitate. Because before I knew it, he wasn’t trying to fight me anymore…
The microbots – they went… straight through his chest. I’d never seen anything
like that before.”
Tadashi stopped momentarily to run a trembling hand through his hair. “I
remember standing frozen in place, horrified – I barely managed to shield
myself with the microbots when the explosion flooded the building… And when I
woke up – I tried to tell the nurse, but she didn’t believe me, passing it off
as nonsense because of the trauma. I later found out there was nothing for
evidence – it had all burned, so I kept quiet after. I still regret it... I
didn’t mean for it to happen. I went in to help, not – not that.” Although
there was no mistaking the remorse or sorrow in his brother’s features, Hiro
saw no tears, but remembered many being spilled at Robert Callaghan’s funeral.
He didn’t doubt Tadashi regretted what he has done, though there is a time when
that sadness becomes tolerable or numbs altogether. He guessed his brother had
been at that point for a while now.
“At the time, I didn’t understand his rage – but now I do. I understand too
well, what he was fighting for; why he wanted revenge so badly. And if what he
got for it was death, the least I can do is turn myself in.” As Tadashi spoke
those words, Hiro felt like the floor had been ripped out from under him.
“Please don’t Tadashi.” He had found his voice again, though it was weak. “I
can’t lose you.” The guilt that showed on his brother’s face was impossible to
miss, and Hiro felt bad for playing on it.
"And if you turn yourself in – they’ll know. They could come after you – or me,
or Aunt Cass. Besides,” he directed, “You shouldn’t feel bad, because, in the
end... Cadoc got what he deserved." Hiro was surprised to hear himself use the
name, though he stepped over the words carefully, stuck between not being sure
if he was comfortable saying them, or relieved to hear himself say it. Either
way, it was process. "And in the end... maybe you saved others from having to
go through what I did."
Tadashi frowned at the reminder, but couldn't find it in him to tell Hiro
anything different, mostly because there wasn't much else to say. Hiro was
right – ultimately it served for the greater good.
Tadashi smiled down at his brother, bringing his hand up to push some loose
strands of hair from his face. He was proud of Hiro, he never tried to hide
that. Time healed, and he supposed if his baby brother could do it, he could
too. They both had skeletons in their closet, but at least they shared the
closet. That made the burden a little more bearable.
===============================================================================
"Hey, boys?" Cass’s voice rang from the other side of the room, and Hiro looked
up from where he was seated on his bed, momentarily forgetting the bot he was
tinkering with as he acknowledged his Aunt. Tadashi, who was seated on the
floor and propped against the mattress, turned up from the book he had been
absorbed in. Both met their Aunt's eyes from the top of the stair well.
"By chance have either of you seen one of my kitchen knives – a little pointed
one? The smallest from the more expensive set is missing and I looked
everywhere – neither of you used it for one of your little projects I hope?"
She eyed the youngest first with a mix of worry and suspicion.
Hiro knew better not to touch most of his Aunt's kitchen supplies without
permission – he'd first learned well enough around eight years ago. Immature
and naïve, the two brother’s had never even considered asking then. For the
interest of their invention, they'd found themselves rummaging through the
kitchen in search of something to substitute for a part – which they found
quite successfully. It had worked, though only temporarily before causing the
entire structure of their makeshift bot to crumble. One heated Cass and several
dented cake pans later left both boys with a lasting memory they had no
intention to revisit...
In response, Hiro immediately shook his head, watching as Cass diverted her
attention to Tadashi. He caught his brother's expression from the corner of his
eye (he looked scared?) before it clicked. The knife – that knife.
Hiro was quick to follow her gaze, but found Tadashi now appeared only
confused. It was his turn to shake his head. "I haven't seen it either, sorry,"
he lied. Hiro was stunned by how convincing his brother both looked and sounded
and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise as a shiver ran through him.
He realized if he didn't already know the truth, he would have believed Tadashi
right along with his Aunt at that moment. "Did you check the cafeteria yet?
I've seen some things get mixed in the cutlery drawer down there lately,"
Tadashi inquired, and Hiro suddenly wondered why his brother had never taken an
interest in theatre – Tadashi was a natural actor.
Their Aunt sighed. "I'll go check again, but let me know if either of you come
across it, okay?"
"Sure Aunt Cass," Tadashi replied, nodding.
"Hiro?" The teen hadn’t realized he had still been staring at his brother until
Tadashi looked up at him with their Aunt's persuasion. Hiro had glanced up
quickly after, mimicking Tadashi's own reply with another head nod.
Aunt Cass pursed her lips slightly before mumbling under her breath (something
along the lines of "Mochi sure as hell didn't take it,") then descended the
steps. Hiro waited until the frills of her brown hair had disappeared past the
railing before looking back at the other, who had his eyes glued to the stair
well. Tadashi was frowning, and Hiro found it hard to hold his tongue until he
heard his Aunt's footsteps leave earshot.
"You gonna replace it?" Hiro asked. Tadashi didn't bother to look up.
"Might have to," he sighed, finally responding after a little consideration.
"Well you might want to do it before she rips the entire house apart." Hiro
smirked and Tadashi smiled lightly at the idea. Then it went quiet for a few
minutes – though not quite comfortably so. Tadashi was about to try and
continue reading when Hiro spoke again. "Do you ever lie to me like that?"
Tadashi froze, a little thrown off by the question before turning to find his
brother's analyzing glance. Big brown eyes blinked back at him, Hiro seeming
more curious than anything, but also slightly upset.
"Honestly...? I've tried, but... I can never find it in me to do it..." He
never really knew why, but that was the truth. Whether Hiro believed him or not
was a different matter of course.
"What about the GPS chips?" the tone of Hiro's voice sounded more mischievous
than anything now and Tadashi smiled.
"I never lied about those, I just never told you about them," he corrected.
Hiro shook his head as he repositioned himself so he was laying on his chest.
“Besides, you did a pretty good job finding them on your own.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Hiro chuckled. He had to admit – it felt refreshing to laugh
at something that irritated him so much, barely a few months prior. He watched
Tadashi's face lighten with mild amusement.
"Not really our biggest concern anymore though," Tadashi mumbled. Their smiles
faded, Hiro seeming to get lost in thought and Tadashi regretted briefly what
he had said, until Hiro spoke again.
"Would you promise to tell me the truth, if I asked you something important?"
Hiro asked. The boy suddenly found himself looking everywhere but who the
question was directed at.
"Like I said: I've never lied to you before, and I still wouldn't now." Tadashi
spoke softly, reassurance clear in both his tone and features. Then his face
hardened a little, his voice serious. "Especially not now. I have no reason
to... Given what I’ve already told you."
Hiro nodded, because he didn't doubt the truth behind those words. Though he
still wanted to bring his hands up from where they were tucked under his chest,
and hide his face in them. He could feel Tadashi watching him, waiting, and
studying him. Hiro was surprised by his sudden surge of courage. "Do you love
me?"
"Of course I do," Tadashi said, causing Hiro to glance up this time. He saw a
slight trace of hurt on his older brother's face. "I always will."
"No, I mean..." Hiro felt his cheeks heating up, but he couldn't think of the
words to explain differently. Tadashi watched him, brows knitted in confusion.
He still looked a little hurt – Tadashi couldn't understand why his brother
would think he didn't love him. "Like, do you..." Hiro was growing exasperated,
stuttering not getting him anywhere. He glanced at Tadashi (who still looked
lost) before swallowing hard. He'd already said this much; so why not just get
it over with? After everything they've both gone through, rejection isn't the
worst that could happen.
"Do you–" Hiro abandoned his last attempt to explain as he closed the space
between the two of them, leaning over the edge of the bed to plant his own lips
on Tadashi's. The kiss lasted barely long enough for Hiro to feel Tadashi's
lips part in surprise, and then he pulled back. "–love me?" he finished,
waiting for his brothers reaction with slight worry.
Tadashi's lips were still parted, his eyes wide to match. He sat stock still,
staring at Hiro with a blank expression but staying unresponsive.
Taking that as a bad sign, Hiro felt regret wash over him. He turned away,
dreading the thought of his brother reacting negatively because of what he just
did. "I'm sorry," he said immediately, "I shouldn't have done that." A few
seconds of silence passed before Tadashi finally spoke.
"Hiro?" Hiro heard his name but didn't dare look, and he didn't move when he
felt the bed dip beside him, Tadashi standing up to sit next to him. "Hiro,
look at me?"
The teen took in a shaky breath. He'd known that rejection was going to hurt,
but prior he'd figured it would be easier to get it over with than live
wondering if he had a chance. Now he wasn't so sure.
When he sat up to face Tadashi, Hiro could barely see him at first, his eyes
watery enough to keep everything unfocused. Tadashi brought his hand up slowly,
brushing some of Hiro's hair off his forehead before cupping his cheek. "This
is what you want?"
"O–only if you do," Hiro said, leaning into his brother's touch. Tadashi didn't
say anything, only studying the boy’s features, before he brought his face
down. Hiro was surprised at the sudden closeness, being sure merely moments ago
this would never happen again.
"Is this alright?" Hiro could feel the heat of his brother's breath on his own
lips, his heart suddenly pounding away like a jackhammer.
"Yes," he breathed. Tadashi closed the space between them then, their lips
meeting for a second time. Hiro had melted into it, enjoying how different it
felt when Tadashi's mouth moved to match his own this time. Then all too soon,
he pulled away, and Hiro grew worried, supposing that if it wasn't because they
needed a moment to catch their breath, it was because Tadashi was having second
thoughts. But Tadashi had only moved with the intent to check if Hiro was okay,
sweeping the boy's ever disastrous hair from his eyes a second time to ensure a
clear view of the younger boy’s expression. He searched his little brother over
for even the smallest hint of discomfort or hesitation, but found none. All he
found was his little brother pouting up at him because he had stopped so
quickly.
"Slowly." Tadashi mumbled rubbing a thumb over the boy's stuck out bottom lip.
Hiro wasn't sure what he meant by that and opened his mouth to ask, but Tadashi
had read the confusion on his face before he could even ask. "We have to be
careful. This... This isn't exactly–"
"–What? Safe for me? Legal? Ethical?" Hiro cut him short, raising his brows in
mild amusement at Tadashi's reaction, though his eyes were still glassy from
unshed tears.
"Yeah..." the older swallowed, mulling over what Hiro had just expanded on.
"Trust me when I say I've thought about every one of them," Hiro's voice had
dropped to almost a whisper, "But not a single one has managed to change how I
feel." There had been too many nights he'd wished the fear and the self-
loathing alone would be enough to drive away, or at least hide his feelings –
but they never did, and instead only added to his frustration. But now... now
they didn't have to be pushed away anymore, and Hiro had never felt so
alleviated.
Feeling the space between them had become too far, Hiro leaned forward,
wrapping his arms around the only person who has meant this much to him.
"I love you, so much," he whispered into Tadashi's chest. When Hiro felt his
brother return the embrace, he felt calm. He felt safe.
"I love you too, Hiro," the Tadashi mumbled into the mess of hair below him,
pressing a kiss to his little brother’s head. He wasn’t entirely sure how he
felt about this – but then again, how he felt shouldn’t matter, should it? He
had murdered; killed in cold blood – even if he had done so for Hiro’s sake,
that didn’t change what he had become. But, if this is what Hiro really wanted…
Tadashi was certain he could do this too. So long as he held the privilege to
ensure Hiro’s happiness and safety, he knew he would always do absolutely
anything, and everything, in his power to keep that reality.
Chapter End Notes
     Not the resolve I originally wanted, but at least I can take the
     weight off my shoulders knowing it's finished.
     Motivation was very lacking for this last chapter (if me not touching
     it for over a year and some doesn't say that already), I feel like
     the end definitely could have been expanded a lot more, but then I
     also figured this ending kind of suited the style of the story? Kind
     of an abrupt, open ending like a lot of the other events/situations
     in passing. I dunno, I tried. It's really hard to do something when
     you've lost your passion for it, you know?
     Anyways, if there happens to be anyone who is still ever so patiently
     waiting, i hope the wait wasn't a disappointment or anything and this
     provided some closure. And as a final note, I do really just want to
     thank everyone again who has read this story, whether a while ago or
     recently, all the support and kudos are very much appreciated! (And
     if anyone is dissatisfied with this, please feel free to write your
     own resolve or continuation!)
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