Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/790454.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Hey!_Say!_JUMP, Johnny's_Entertainment
  Relationship:
      Takachii, Chinen_Yuri/Takaki_Yuya
  Character:
      Chinen_Yuri, Takaki_Yuya, Yamada_Ryosuke, Okamoto_Keito, Inoo_Kei
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-05-09 Chapters: 8/8 Words: 27587
****** A Second Chance ******
by orphan_account
Summary
     [some_text]
     Banner by stormy
     Chinen is running away from his problems… Until he suddenly finds
     himself at the end of the road, and it’s too late. Will he be able to
     clear up all the misunderstandings, to get his second chance?
Notes
     Hey everyone! Wow, that summary was a challenge, honestly – I had to
     stay vague, but I still had to say something :P Anyways, hope you
     give it a chance, this is something completely different from
     everything I have written before. It’s REALLY angsty, at some points,
     be warned, but there’s also humor to make up for it (at least I hope
     so ^^’). I hope you like it!
***** Chapter 1 *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Chinen’s POV
I sighed, letting the water from the shower run down my neck, hoping it would
relax my tense muscles. I closed my eyes, trying to clear my head from all the
complicated thoughts in my head… All the unwanted feelings, all the stress, all
the insecurities… Everything.
But as much as I tried… When I opened my eyes again, they were still there,
stuck in my mind. Frustrated, I turned out the water, and reached for the
towel. I focused only on my actions as I dried myself and dressed in the small
cubicle of our agency’s shower rooms. Thinking was unhealthy for me these days.
I grabbed my things and unlocked the cubicle, stepping out of it – almost
bumping into someone.
I looked up, and found myself face to face with a half-naked Yuya. My heart
sank as I tried to not let my eyes travel over his exposed upper body, and his
hips which disappeared under the towel he had slung around it. I felt my face
heat up, my pulse racing in my ears. Damn.
“Oh, sorry” Yuya chuckled, throwing me a smile. I felt dazzled for a moment.
“You’re already done?”
“Yes” I brought out, trying to smile back, cursing myself for my reactions to
him. He was my freaking band mate, I had to pull myself together, damnit! There
had been a time when Yuya had been my freaking best friend, and now, I did not
even manage to string two sentences together in his presence?! That was not
right, was it?!
“Alright, then I’ll steal your cubicle” he joked, giving me a pat on the
shoulder as he passed me. “Everywhere else is full…”
“Yeah” I said lamely, cursing myself inwardly. Ever since I had admitted to
myself that those feelings that I had for him were more than those of a friend,
I felt like a pathetic stuttering loser in front of him. As soon as he was
around, my brain just went on standby. I hated it.
I watched his back as he retreated, my eyes fixed on his toned shoulders. He
looked back to smile at me once more. It almost hurt to look at him.
It was not like I could ever tell him, after all. I mean, I knew that I was
important to him, of course… But not the way I wanted to be: He saw me as some
kind of younger brother, and he was always watching out for me, always there
when I needed him.
Which was exactly why I couldn’t tell him. It would be hard for him to know
that he was hurting me by not being able to answer the way I’d like him to. It
would hurt him as bad as me, in the end, and I wanted to avoid that.
So I kept quiet, like I always did.
“See you tomorrow, then!” Yuya said, closing the door behind him.
“Yes” I murmured belatedly. “See you!”
I stood there for another moment, desperately trying to make my feet move, but
they seemed strangely weak.
I had made the decision not to confess to him as soon as I had accepted my
feelings, but I had not thought that it would be this hard. That with my
feelings, my behavior would change as well…
Finally, I got myself together and made my way back to the band’s dressing
room.
I was really trying so hard to control myself, but lateIy, I wondered if Yuya
did not notice, sometimes. He had not asked yet, because he had never been
someone who’d pressure you to talk if you didn’t want to, but I noticed the
look he had in his eyes now and then when I avoided him. It made me hate myself
a little. Only I just did not know what to do.
I sighed, stuffing my training clothes into my bag, as I heard something
crumble under the clothes. I frowned, pulling out a letter, looking at it with
a frown, until it slowly dawned onto me.
“Damn, I’ve totally forgotten about that” I murmured, making a face.
“About what?” Ryosuke spoke up, taking me off guard. I had not even realized
that I wasn’t alone in the dressing room, but now I felt Ryosuke’s eyes on me,
and somehow, I knew he had been watching me all along.
“Nothing” I said quietly, looking around searchingly. “Say, is Daiki still
around?”
“No, he had to leave early” Ryosuke answered. “Why?”
“I just forgot I was supposed to give him something…” I shrugged, stuffing the
letter back into the bag. When Ryosuke was still looking at me questioningly, I
explained: “From Saya. She asked me to give him some letter like… 3 days ago? I
dunno, I forgot” I murmured.
“I see” Ryosuke nodded. “Is there something going on with them?”
“I don’t know” I shrugged. I had never thought about it. I had my own feelings
to sort out, so why should I waste my time thinking about my sister’s? “They’ve
been mailing back and forth since my last birthday party, I think.”
“Oh” Ryosuke just said, but he was still looking at me, and it made me feel
uneasy.
I zipped up my back, grabbed it and turned to go, when Ryosuke asked: “Say, do
you still have time? How about us having dinner together?”
I looked up at him, perplexed.
“We’ve not been able to talk for ages” Ryosuke shrugged. “You’ve been kind of…
distant, lately, so I thought…”
“Oh, really?” I murmured, trying to act surprised, but I think Ryosuke saw
through it, like he always did. “Well, sure, why not, let’s go” I gave in, at
last.
Ryosuke smiled, grabbing his things, too.
                                      ***
Ryosuke suggested a nice Chinese restaurant, one with tables in very secluded
corners, allowing us to speak openly without being overheard. Usually, this was
something that made me feel at ease – only tonight, it didn’t. Ryosuke had
always been someone to figure me out very quickly, and at the moment, I did not
want to be figured out. So I tried to keep our conversation light: work, food,
family, the new drama of Hikaru… Nothing that would give him anything to
analyze about me.
At first Ryosuke played along, indulging into my small talk, but it was only
until the first silence in our conversation came up. I took a sip of my coke,
desperately trying to think of something to say, but Ryosuke was faster.
“Say, Chinen” he said quietly, putting his chopsticks down. I knew what that
meant, of course. “Is there… anything going on lately?”
“What?” I asked innocently, looking at him questioningly.
“Well, you seem… out of it” he continued quietly, frowning at me. “You are
unusually quiet. You avoid us. So I wanted to ask if there’s something wrong…”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” I shrugged, picking at my food.
“Chinen” he sighed, looking at me pleadingly. “I know you don’t like to talk
about your problems, but… I am here, you know? Not only me, but the others,
too, so if you feel like you need someone to listen…”
“I don’t have any problems” I cut him off.
“You do” Ryosuke said simply. “I don’t know what it is you’re hiding, but-“
“I’m not hiding anything!” I snapped, getting slightly annoyed by his
persistence. “You’re imagining things, okay?! I’m not avoiding anyone!”
“It’s not just me, okay?!” Ryosuke said defensively. “Yuya has been asking me,
too, if I knew what was wrong with you, and-“
“So you’re talking behind my back, are you?!” I murmured, his words stinging
slightly. “Nice to know.”
“That wasn’t our intention, I swear!” he called. “We are just worried about
you, that’s why-“
“There is nothing to worry about!” I snapped. “I’m fine, and that’s all there
is to it!”
“Why are you so stubborn?” Ryosuke sighed. “I just want to help you.”
“Well, I don’t need your help!” I groaned dangerously. “Just keep out of my
life, will you!”
With that, I got up and grabbed my things, leaving Ryosuke sitting at the
table. He caught up with me as I paid at the counter.
“Chinen” Ryosuke groaned, grabbing my arm, but I pulled it away. “Just wait a
moment, will you?! What’s so bad that you can’t talk about it?!”
“For the thousandth time, nothing!” I groaned, reaching out for the change and
the fortune cookie the waitress was offering me, stuffing it into the pockets
of my jacket before turning to leave.
“Chinen!” Ryosuke called after me. “Come on, I’m driving you home! It’s already
late! Wait for a moment, okay?!”
“I’m walking!” Was all I said before letting the door fall closed behind me.
The cold air felt good against my skin as I made my way through the dark
streets. Maybe walking was really for the best right now. It helped me to cool
myself down.
Deep down, I knew that I was acting irrational, and that I would need to
apologize to Ryosuke tomorrow. It was just that sometimes, I could not stand
his sensible talk – as if all problems could be solved if I just talked to him
about it.
Well, sometimes, it didn’t work like that. And I did not feel like talking
about it, like baring my wounded soul to him so he could try to pick up the
pieces or that kind of shit. I did not want to talk; I wanted to deal with this
alone, until it was over and I could finally act normal around Yuya again.
Yes, maybe I was running away from my problems, but they were mine, after all,
and not Ryosuke’s. So he should just keep out of it!
I continued walking for almost an hour, not really paying attention to my
surroundings, until I realized that I had no idea where I was. I sighed,
leaning against the wall of a street corner, trying to fish out my phone to ask
my navigation program, when my hand came into contact with the fortune cookie.
Still hungry, since I had not really finished my food earlier, I tore the paper
open, and broke the cookie apart, beginning to eat the first half as I
leisurely read the prophecy inside.
“Solve your three problems to get a second chance.”
I frowned at it, wondering for a moment if Ryosuke put that shit up for me or
if the world was just laughing at me by now. Frustrated, I put the little paper
back into my pocket, stuffing the rest of the cookie into my mouth and
continued the search for my phone.
Suddenly, someone stopped in front of me, making me look up. It were four guys,
and in my bitchy mood, I would have characterized them as some villains stolen
straight from the Gokusen set. I did not voice this thought out loud, though,
knowing it might bring me trouble.
“Hey Chibi” one of them said, smirking. “Are you lost?”
I looked from one to another, trying to think. I could tell very well that
those guys had no intention to send me to the next subway station.
“What? Talk to us, pretty!” The next one said quietly, coming closer.
“I think it’s a guy” the third one pointed out, mustering me.
“Really?” the second one frowned. “Looks too pretty for a guy, if you ask me.”
Despite my situation, I rolled my eyes. Seriously, I was in no freaking mood
for this.
“Excuse me” I finally said, trying to push through them. “I have to go.”
Then, I felt a hand on my arm. I tried to shrug it off, but the grip was
stronger than Ryosuke’s earlier.
“You’re going nowhere, Sweetie” the last one, who had grabbed me, said simply.
“Not until you give us your purse and phone.”
A part of me, the smart one that realized the danger of the situation, told me
to better do what they said. The other part, though, the one that had felt
frustrated for weeks and had been pushed up by the fight with Ryosuke earlier,
just thought: “Oh what the-?! No way!”
The last one won, and I found myself violently pushing against the guy that had
grabbed me, managing to pull my arm free. Quickly, I turned to run, using the
narrow side street on which’s corner I had leaned to escape.
I did not come far – the guys caught up with me, shoving me against the next
best wall, making me lose my orientation.
I cannot really recall what happened next. I tried to defend myself, but the
guys were stronger, and there was some kind of fight, before I hit the next
wall, only harder this time, with my head first.
I remember sinking to the floor. I felt someone going through my pockets,
probably searching for money or my phone. I tried to kick, but all I received
was another blow in the face.
Then, everything became black.
                                      ***
When I woke up again, the dark streets were lightened by blue light. I heard
sirens, and loud voices. I sat up, blinking, trying to focus on my
surroundings.
There was police everywhere, and barrier tape to hold back spectators. I saw
flashes of cameras. Maybe the press? Great, now I’d be all over the newspapers
tomorrow.
I got up slowly, wondering why no one was paying attention to me. Where were
the doctors? Hadn’t I been hurt? Though I did not really feel the pain, to be
honest. Had they already given me pain killers?
“Hey” I called out to a policeman that stood close by, taking notes. He did not
look up when I called him. “Hey! HELLO!” I yelled, but still no reaction. I
groaned, making my way over to him. “Seriously, are you deaf?! I just-“
I was interrupted by another policeman joining him, saying: “Do we have the
identity of the victim?”
“His purse was stolen, but we still know who he is” he murmured with a sigh.
“His face is all over the walls of my daughter’s room. This is gonna be a shock
for her.”
“Huh?”
“Do you know Hey! Say! JUMP?” he continued at the other’s confusion. “It’s some
Johnny’s band. This is a member of them, Chinen Yuri.”
“Wow, a celebrity?” the other frowned. “Now I know why there’s so much press
here… What happened?”
“Apparently, he was robbed” the first one explained.
“Yes, I was” I said idly. “Now can you pay attention to me?! I’m gonna complain
to your boss!”
Still, no reaction. Instead, they continued talking.
“He hit his head during the fight, it seems. Cause of death probably cerebral
hemorrhage.”
I froze, looking at them with wide eyes. They continued talking, but I was not
able to listen anymore.
“I’m not dead!” was all said when I could finally bring myself to speak again.
“What are you talking about?! I-“
I turned around again, throwing a look back to where I had just come from, and
froze, staring. Because this, there on the floor, that was me. My body, lying
on the floor, a pool of dried blood under my head, unmoving. It looked just
like me, it really did.
Only it couldn’t be me, because I was standing here, wasn’t I?!
“Hey!” I called, turning back to the officers behind me. “What’s going on
here?! I-“ I reached out for the arm of the one who was closest to me, trying
to shake him, but I couldn’t grab it – my hand went right through his arm.
I stared, completely shocked. The officer stopped in the middle of his sentence
and frowned, looking right to where I was standing, only that he was not really
looking at me, because he couldn’t see me.
“No” I whispered, shaking my head frantically.
“What’s wrong?” the other officer asked, looking at his colleague weirdly.
“Nothing” he murmured, obviously confused. “I was just… Where was I?”
“Did someone already contact the family?” he repeated.
“Yes, we sent someone.”
I could not listen anymore. I only turned around again, staring back at my
body. This couldn’t be happening. I was not dead. I mean, I was here, wasn’t
I?!
“What kind of sick joke is that?!” I called, but no one paid any more attention
to me. “Hikaru, I swear, I’ll kill you if I get you in between my fingers! This
is so not funny!”
But there was no Hikaru around, jumping out of the corner and laughing at me.
No hidden cameras. Nothing. Just the police, investigating the scene as the sun
rose, turning the night into morning.
                                      ***
I could not really tell what was happening anymore. As I tried to wrap my
confused mind around the fact that I was being declared dead, when I obviously
wasn’t, I thought about my family, and how they would react to the news.
I had to tell them that I was alright.
And just as I thought that, I suddenly stood in the middle of our living room.
I looked around in shock, until I realized the presence of my parents and my
sister, who were sitting on the couch, two officers, one female and one male,
talking to them softly as Saya and Mom held each other, crying, and my father
stared off into space, unmoving.
“I know that this is hard for you now” the female officer said quietly. “But we
need to ask you some questions for the investigation.”
“You just told me that my son was found dead, and now you want answers?!” My
father called, his voice shaking. “You have to answer our questions, I think!”
“We have been up for hours trying to reach Yuri when he did not come home!” Mom
sobbed.
“Have you noticed anything unusual before he left?” the female officer
continued to ask. “It all looks like a holdup murder, but we can’t say so for
sure, since he’s a celebrity. Maybe it was an aimed attack masked as robbery.”
“I didn’t notice anything” Mum said, her voice high from the tears, just as
Saya’s, when she spoke.
“Yuri was kind of down, lately” she murmured. “I noticed, but I thought he was
stressed out or something, so I did not ask. Why did I not ask?!”
“Stop crying” I murmured desperately, stepping further into the room, but no
one looked up. “HEY!” I called, but no matter how much I raised my voice, I
received no attention. “LISTEN TO ME! I’M NOT DEAD! I’M HERE! MOM! DAD! NEE-
CHAN! LOOK AT ME, DAMNIT!”
But there was nothing. I groaned in frustration, turning my back to them.
My eyes fell onto the clock. 10 minutes to 8. I froze.
The band was to meet at 8 for a meeting with our manager, to talk our schedule
for the next week.
The band. If they heard what had happened…
The moment I was thinking about it, I suddenly found myself in our meeting
room. I looked around, seeing that most of the guys had already arrived,
chatting away happily in groups. I turned when the door opened, seeing Yuya
walking in.
My heart fell.
“Yuya!” I tried to call his name, but he did not react, just waving hello to
everyone.
He sat down next to Ryosuke, who sat a little apart from everyone, looking
tired, like he had hardly slept.
“Hey” Yuya said quietly, looking at him with a frown. “Are you okay?”
“I had a fight with Chinen last night” he said quietly, so that only Yuya could
hear him. “I tried to get him to talk about what was wrong, but he did not
budge.”
Yuya sighed.
“I told you, give him some time” Yuya murmured. “He will talk when he’s ready.
There’s no use in pressuring him. He is incredibly stubborn.”
My heart pressed against my chest as I listened to them. Yuya had always
understood me so well. So why could he not see me now?!
“I should have listened to you” Ryosuke said, making a face.
It was that moment, that the door to the room opened, and our manager came in,
looking very pale and more helpless than I had ever seen him.
“Is everyone here?” he said quietly, looking into the round. “I have to talk to
you…”
“Chinen and Keito are missing” Kota announced, looking up at him with a frown.
“Everything okay?”
“No, it’s-“ he began, taking a deep breath. “I have no idea how to say this.
This is just-“
“Did something happen?” Daiki enquired, looking up.
The manager nodded, and everyone was looking at him by now, sensing that
something was very off. I wanted to do something, anything, but I knew that
they could not see me or hear me anyways.
“It’s about Chinen-kun” he finally began, his voice shaky. “I just got a call…
There was an attack.”
“An attack?” Kei repeated, stunned. “What kind of attack?”
“Apparently, someone wanted to rob him on his way home last night.”
“Is he alright?” Yuya asked, eyes wide in obvious horror. It hurt just to look.
Our manager gulped, before saying: “No, he isn’t. There was a fight, and he hit
his head. He was only found hours later. He did not make it.”
There was moment of silence, in which everyone just stared. No one dared to
move, until Hikaru jumped up, looking wild.
“That’s a joke, right?!” he called, approaching the manager. He walked right
past me, not taking any note of it. “Tell me this is a joke!” Hikaru called,
grabbing him, shaking.
“I wish I could” he said quietly.
“No” Yuya murmured feebly, shaking his head. “No.”
“I wanted to tell you before you hear it from the news” the manager continued
as Hikaru let go of him, searching the gaze of Kota, who seemed stunned, just
like everyone else.
Ryosuke was shaking, his hands forming fists, pressing down so hard that it
must have hurt.
Yuya jumped up, getting out his phone, dialing with shaky fingers.
“Yuya” Daiki whispered shakily. “What are you doing?”
“I’m calling Chinen” he murmured feebly, holding the phone to his ear. “He
can’t be dead. He just can’t.”
“Takaki-kun, it’s no use” the manager murmured. “His phone was stolen, so-“
“SHUT UP!” Yuya called, but closed his eyes in desperation when the call went
to voice mail. “SHIT!” he groaned, throwing the phone against the room
forcefully. It broke from the impact, the noise making some of the others stir
from their trance. Daiki got up, grabbing Yuya, holding onto him even as he
tried to fight him off, the tears breaking out of him.
I felt tears falling down my own face. I had not even known ghosts could cry,
but apparently, they could. I wanted to reach out to Yuya, to hug him, but I
knew he would not feel it, anyways.
Yuya let out a sob, falling to his knees. A tear rolled down Ryosuke’s cheek.
Yuto had his face buried in his hands.
I could no longer watch. I turned around and just walked. Straight through the
door, which I did not even feel as I walked through it. Down the corridor.
I did barely hear it, when familiar voice called my name.
“CHINEN!”
I froze, looking up, only to see Keito on the other side of the corridor,
approaching me. I stared, wondering if I was hallucinating.
“Where are you going?” he asked, frowning. “Did something happen?”
“You… you can see me?!” I blurted out in shock.
Keito looked at me incredulous.
“Yes” he said slowly. “Why shouldn’t I?”
Before I could answer, the door burst open, and Ryosuke stormed out. Our
manager called after him, but he did not look back. Tears were streaming down
his face.
“Ryosuke?!” Keito called incredulous, and when he did not react, he grabbed his
arm, keeping him from running past him. “Ryosuke, what happened?!” he asked
worriedly.
Ryosuke let out a sob, before whispering, almost too low to even understand:
“Chinen is dead.”
Keito stared at him in shock. Ryosuke shrugged his arm off and ran further down
the hall, disappearing through a door.
Keito turned to me slowly, staring.
“What is he talking about?!” he demanded, slightly scared. “You are right here,
aren’t you?!”
I did not know what to answer. I felt like I did not understand anything
anymore.
“Chinen!” Keito called when I did not react, reaching out for me, but his hand
went right through me.
He screamed, before walking backwards, colliding with the wall behind him. His
eyes were wide as he stared at me.
“Chinen, what the heck?!” he demanded.
I asked myself the same question, just staring back at him.
Chapter End Notes
     A/N: So… shocked, amused, crying? XD I’m so excited about this story…
     Please tell me what you are thinking, it will make my day ;)
     Originally posted: http://vflmaeuschen.blog.com/2012/09/13/
     multichapter-a-second-chance-chapter-1/
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     [some_text]
     Banner by stormy
Chapter Notes
     Hey everyone! So my first update after I arrived in Japan :D Hope I
     will not be too busy with my job to update regularly… I’ll try my
     best :) Now, onto the second chapter of this story… This is about
     Keito and Chinen coming to terms with the situation. Hope you’ll like
     it! And don’t forget to comment :D
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Keito and I stayed silent for a few moments, only staring at each other, none
of us understanding what was happening here. I had gone through a lot of
surprising realizations today, but finding that Keito could see me might be the
most unsettling one right after the fact that everyone else couldn’t. Well, and
maybe that I was apparently dead, too.
But it was then, that I suddenly became aware of the chance that gave me.
Finally, someone I could talk to! Someone who could explain to me what was
happening!
Someone who could help me get out of this situation.
“Keito!” I said finally, approaching him excitedly. “You have to help me! We
have to turn this whole thing around!”
“Turn what around?!” Keito squealed, obviously still scared.
“Well, the me-being-dead thing!”
“How are we supposed to turn that around?!” he demanded.
Just as I wanted to answer, our manager’s assistant came walking down the
corridor. She stopped as she recognized Keito, looking at him compassionately.
Well, for her, his look must have come across rather shocked and maybe
despaired instead of totally shit-scared.
“Okamoto-Kun” she said quietly. “I was just going to join you and the group… I
know these news are horrible… Maybe we should all sit down and talk about it
quietly? As much as this is possible right now…”
Keito gaped at her helplessly.
“Tell her you want to be alone” I hissed, not wanting to miss this chance of
talking to the only person around who could be of help.
“I… want to be alone?” Keito repeated, a little unsurely.
The woman opposite him sighed, nodded and patted his shoulder comfortingly
before continuing her way down the corridor, towards the rest of the group. As
she closed the door behind herself, Keito looked up at me again.
“Let’s go somewhere private” I suggested. “Before people think you’re crazy,
talking to yourself like that!”
“I think I’m crazy!” Keito pointed out, but when I threw him an impatient look,
he followed me hesitantly.
I entered a few meeting rooms through closed doors, checking their
availability, and Keito yelped the first time it happened, until I snapped at
him to calm down. Why did I have to find myself the ally who was about most
scared of ghosts from the entire group?! Except maybe Yuya.
When I finally found a room, I told Keito to come inside, and though he was
still hesitant, he just followed my instructions. When he had closed the door
behind himself, he looked at me helplessly, asking: “Can you please explain to
me what happened?! I feel like I’m losing my mind right now, and that’s
extremely unsettling.”
“Yeah, ask me!” I scoffed. “I’m still waiting until I finally wake up from this
nightmare!” Keito waited, and I sighed, beginning to explain: “Well, last
night, I was attacked by a few guys. They wanted my money. We fought, and I hit
my head. When I woke up, there was police everywhere, and nobody could see or
hear me, and my dead body lay on the floor.”
“So you actually are dead!” Keito pointed out, alarmed.
“No!” I said defensively. “I’m here, ain’t I?! Why should you see me if I’m
dead?!”
“Well, you’re a ghost, aren’t you?” Keito said unsurely.
“Have you ever seen another ghost?!” I scoffed.
“Well, no” Keito admitted.
“Then why should you suddenly be able to see only me?! Are you my personal
ghost whisperer or something?!”
“I don’t know” Keito called defensively. “Maybe it’s just about whom the ghosts
want to show themselves to or something…”
“If it worked like that, you wouldn’t be my first choice, believe me!” I
snapped. There was a moment of silence, before I murmured: “Sorry. I didn’t
mean that.”
Keito looked up at me unsurely.
“I don’t understand all of this Chinen” he moaned. “What’s happening here?”
“I don’t know” I said truthfully. “I wish I had an answer to that myself. All I
know is that I’m not dead. I cannot be.”
“But if you’re not” Keito murmured. “Then what exactly are you?!”
I had no answer to that. There was a moment of silence, before Keito
tentatively suggested: “Maybe your soul can’t find peace or something because
you still have things to do, and I need to help you or something?”
I looked at him, unimpressed.
“You really watched too much Ghost Whisperer, didn’t you?!”
“I’m serious!” Keito groaned. “If you’re dead, you shouldn’t be here!”
“That’s why I’m not dead!” I said testily.
“But there has to be a reason for you to be here!” Keito pointed out. “Do you
still have anything left undone?!”
I rolled my eyes, still not trusting Keito’s explanation because I was not
dead, when something dawned onto me…
“The fortune cookie!” I called.
Keito looked at me like I had lost my mind.
“The what?!”
“The fortune cookie!” I repeated excitedly. “I got one last night, and there
was something written about second chances or whatever! I bet that’s it!”
“A fortune cookie?!” Keito repeated incredulous. “Chinen, I know you’re
desperate, but that’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard! Including me
being able to see ghosts!”
I groaned in frustration, pointing a finger at him warningly.
“YOU only wait, I’ll go searching for that damn quote, and when I have it,
we’ll continue talking!” I called.
“Chinen, wait!” Keito yelled, but before I knew it, the room around me had
already vaporized.
Suddenly, I found myself alone in a dark, cold surgery. Or at least, at first I
thought that was what it was – until I turned around and found myself face to
face with my own corpse. I yelped, stepping backwards a little, so that I would
have bumped into the table behind me, if I could still have bumped into things.
“God, I hate this” I moaned, trying to not look at my own pale face. It was
slightly sickening.
I took another look around, trying to find out why I had landed exactly here,
of all places, until my eyes fell on a box with what was obviously my
belongings.
Quickly, I got closer and took a good look at it – there was my jacket and my
bag, and the contents of it spread across the bottom of the box. I looked
closely, finding my training shoes and my keys and the freaking letter for
Daiki… Everything, but not the fortune cookie quote.
“Damn” I murmured. “It’s probably still in the pocket of my jacket!”
I reached out for it, but as expected, my hand went right through it. I cursed.
“How am I supposed to bring this thing to Keito if I can’t even touch it?!” I
complained to nobody in particular. Well, as long as nobody could hear me
anyways, I could be as loud as I wanted to be.
I stared at my jacket in frustration, wishing irrationally that it would just
move and empty its damn pockets by itself… Until suddenly, it really did move.
Not much, just a little upwards. As if it could float. I gasped, and then it
fell down again, crumbling the letter underneath a little.
I stared, shocked.
“Was that me?!” I whispered.
I tried to think rationally… Or at least as rational as was possible in this
situation… If I really was a ghost, maybe I could move things with my own will
power or something. I mean, there were so many stories about ghosts spooking
around, letting windows fall closed and such! If others could do that, why
could I not move a simple piece of paper?!
I tried to concentrate, my eyes focusing on the jacket again.
“Come on” I murmured, focusing. “Move.”
At first, nothing happened. I took a deep breath, narrowing my eyes, my look
piercing through the fabric in front of me, waiting… But nothing happened.
I let out a frustrated groan.
“Damn!” I called. “Move already, you stupid thing! I don’t have all day!”
It was then, that finally something happened. I held my breath as the jacket
rose up into the air and stayed there, as if being held up by an invisible
hand. I kept my focus on the jacket, hoping it would stay put if I did not let
it out of my eyes.
Maybe anger was the key, I figured, or other strong feelings. I tried hard to
focus on the frustration I had felt ever since I had woken up in this form, or
maybe even before, after the fight with Ryosuke, and as I let the feelings run,
the pocket of my jacket opened.
With the mere power of my thoughts, I let the first pocket empty itself into
the box, but all that came out were the few coins I had gotten as a change in
the restaurant.
“Damn, the other pocket” I murmured, changing my focus.
I began to notice the strain using these powers had on me – it felt like a
headache, only that I did not really feel the pain, just some weird pressure
inside of me.
The jacket swayed a little, threatening to fall down again, but I tried to keep
my concentration, opening the next pocket. Its content fell into the box,
together with the jacket, as I lost my grip of it. I took a deep breath, trying
to regain my strength before looking down into the box again.
There it was: A little paper lying next to the crumbled wrapping of the cookie.
I sighed in relief.
“Okay, now all I need is to bring this to Keito” I murmured, prep talking
myself. It couldn’t be that hard, right? Lift it up and apparate back to the
agency buildings. Apparate, beam, whatever it was that I was doing here, but I
had to admit, it was the first thing that I ever thought handy in this form.
So I focused on the little paper and all the panic and unpleasant thoughts in
my head. Everyone’s shock at the news of my death earlier. Yuya’s tears. As
soon as I saw his face in front of my eyes, the paper started moving, slowly
lifting itself up, like a feather pulled by the wind.
I fixed my eyes on it, and thought about the room I had left Keito in.
In a second, the room around me disappeared. I found myself back in the empty
meeting room… Only that it was really empty, this time. Keito was gone.
Plus, the paper had not moved with me.
“Shit” I groaned, stomping my foot, even if it made no noise. “Why is nothing
working around me here?!”
First – where was Keito?! And second, how did I get that stupid paper to him if
I could not take it with me when I moved from one place to another?!
I closed my eyes, trying to think of where Keito could have gone to. Home,
maybe? Or had he found the others to talk to them?
Just as I was still pondering, I suddenly heard a very familiar voice scream. I
opened my eyes, and found myself in Keito’s room, with him sitting on the bed,
looking at me with wide eyes.
“Don’t scare me like that!” he complained in a high voice. “This suddenly
turning up around me thing is pretty creepy!”
“Oh, get a hold of yourself!” I groaned. “I told you to wait for me!”
“How long did you expect me to stay there?!” Keito demanded defensively.
“Someone found me, and asked me what I was doing in there all alone. What
should I have answered?! ‘Oh, I’m just waiting around for Chinen’s ghost, he
wanted to show me something’?! They would have sent me straight to a
psychiatrist! So I went home when they suggested it. Besides” he added. “I
figured, if I didn’t imagine you, you’d be able to find me. You’re a freaking
ghost, after all!”
“Yeah, well, I’m gonna haunt you if you keep running from me!” I threatened.
“Aren’t you already doing that?” Keito sighed. “Anyways, where is that freaking
fortune cookie spell you were talking about?!”
“Oh, yeah, that” I murmured, making a face. “I found it. The thing is, I can’t
bring it. I’ve not quite figured out how that whole transportation thing works
yet.”
“So, can you just recall the words of the quote?” Keito enquired, frowning. “I
mean, the paper is not that important, is it?”
“You’re right!” I nodded in realization. “Wait a second, I’ll be right back!”
I closed my eyes and could still hear Keito say: “What?! Not again! Chinen,
wait-“ before his voice was gone, and I found myself back in the morgue.
I quickly spotted the little paper lying on the floor, apparently having fallen
down when I had disappeared. I bent down, reading the words once more, trying
to memorize them.
“Solve your three problems to get a second chance.”
I repeated them in my mind before closing my eyes again. When I opened them,
Keito was glaring at me.
“This is not funny” he groaned.
“Gulp it down” I waved him off. “Now, get a paper and a pen and write it down,
before I forget it again.”
Keito scrambled himself up from the bed and walked over to his desk, beginning
to write down the words I recited to him. I looked over his shoulder to make
sure he made no mistake.
After he was done, he stared at the words, as if trying to decode them.
“So, that does seem like something, right?” I prodded excitedly. “I just have
to solve whatever problems I had, and then everything will be alright again!”
“It’s just a fortune cookie, Chinen!” Keito pointed out. “Who actually believes
in that kind of stuff?!”
“Did you use to believe in ghosts?!” I snapped.
Keito sighed.
“Point taken.”
“Right” I nodded. “Besides, and don’t ask me how I know it… But I just feel
that I’m not dead, you know? Not really. It’s like…” I searched for words, and
Keito looked up at me with indecipherable eyes. “It’s like something went
wrong” I concluded. “It wasn’t supposed to happen that way.”
“No, it wasn’t” Keito agreed slowly, and finally, I realized what it was that I
saw in his eyes: sadness. “What happened is horrible, Chinen. Nobody can
believe it… I caught a short look of Yuya and everyone else as I left the
agency… They are devastated, all of them. It’s all over the newspapers… Of
course it wasn’t supposed to happen this way. But Chinen… It did. And just
because you can’t accept it, it doesn’t change anything.”
“Stop making it seem like I’m just a regular ghost who can’t accept his death!”
I snapped. “I told you, it’s different!”
“But what if” Keito continued, his voice slightly rough by now. “What if… all
that is supposed to happen is for you to figure out what it is that’s still
keeping you here, and when you did, you just… leave. To wherever you have to
go.”
“If you’re gonna ask me to go into the light now or some shit, I’m gonna make
that dictionary in your shelf hit you right in the head!” I threatened.
“Believe me, I can if you anger me!”
“Do you see any kind of light?” Keito checked hesitantly.
“NO!” I groaned. “I’m not gonna go into heaven, or be reborn or whatever it is
that you are expecting! I just need to solve whatever it is that is happening
here, and then I’ll be alive again! I just know it!”
“But how?!” Keito whispered.
“I don’t know!” I called. “I really don’t, I just…” I sighed, feeling myself
shaking. “I can’t be dead, okay?”
“Chinen…”
“I still have my whole life in front of me!” I reminded him. “I have so much to
do, I mean…”
“What do you still have to do?” Keito asked quietly.
“I have to apologize to Ryosuke” I murmured, remembering his crying face from
earlier. “I have to tell him that I didn’t mean the things I said yesterday…
And I…” I had to tell Yuya what I was feeling for him. I had to stop lying to
him, and to myself.
I did not say those words out loud, drifting off into silence. Keito stared at
me, apparently not daring to speak up.
“I have to try, Keito” I whispered, a desperate ache to my voice as I looked at
him again. “I know it might be silly, but… I have to try, okay? I can’t give up
yet. Please, help me.”
I saw Keito eyes glistening just a moment before a tear passed his eyelids. He
blinked and avoided my eyes, just nodding. I could not resist reaching out to
touch his cheek, trying to wipe away his tear even though I knew I couldn’t.
Keito smiled a little, before chuckling: “That feels weird.”
“You can feel it?” I asked curiously.
“Kind of” he nodded. “It feels warm. Like heat penetrating me. I can’t really
explain.” Keito took a shaky breath and wiped the tear away himself. I drew my
hand away again.
“I’ll help you” Keito said finally, looking up at me. “I don’t know if it will
work, but I’ll do everything I can to help. Even if it’s just to solve whatever
it is that’s still holding you… But I will do it. Okay?”
“Thank you” I smiled, reaching out to put my hand over his. Keito smiled back a
watery smile, and suddenly, I was just so grateful that it was him that could
see me, in the end.
Because I had rarely met a guy as loyal as Keito. I knew I could trust him. And
it made me feel a tiny bit of hope.
Chapter End Notes
     http://vflmaeuschen.blog.com/2012/09/28/multichapter-a-second-chance/
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     [some_text]
     Banner by stormy
Chapter Notes
     A/N: Yup, back with another super depressing chapter. I already
     apologize XD
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Keito turned around to get himself a tissue, just as someone knocked on his
door. He quickly wiped his eyes, but it was no use, in my opinion – Keito had
always had his feelings written all over his face for everyone to see. It was
probably as easy for everyone to tell that he had been crying as it was for me.
“Yes?” Keito called finally, and the door opened, revealing his father.
He stood in the doorway, mustering the face of his son with obvious worry.
Keito tried not to look him in the eyes, maybe at a loss of what to say or how
to act. I had pity with him. This whole situation would be too much for me,
too, if I were in his place.
“Hey” his father said finally, his words hesitant. “I… heard what happened to
Chinen-Kun. I’m so sorry, Keito.”
Keito just nodded once, not responding.
“Do you want to talk about it?” His father continued.
“No” Keito said quietly, apparently keen on getting rid of his father again. I
could understand it – it must be hard, to act all mourning when the person you
were supposed to be mourning about was actually right in front of you. “I just
want to be alone.”
Keito’s father stayed where he was, not moving, before he shook his head,
insisting: “You shouldn’t be alone in a moment like this. A friend of you died.
I-“ he took a deep breath, taking the few steps towards him, placing his hands
on his shoulder. “I’ll just stay with you for a while. You don’t need to talk
if you don’t want to, I just want to be there for you. Okay?”
Keito didn’t answer at first, looking at me helplessly.
“I will leave you two alone for a while” I suggested, knowing that it would
make it easier for him if I wasn’t around. “I’ll just… come back later, okay?”
Keito nodded slightly, a mere tip of his head so his father wouldn’t catch it.
I closed my eyes, not quite sure of where I wanted to go, but when I opened my
eyes again, I found myself in our living room.
I saw my father, sitting on the couch, staring off into space. He was very
pale, and hardly moving – like a statue rather than a human being.
“Dad?” I whispered miserably, a vain intend at reaching him, though I knew it
was impossible. He did not react. Of course he didn’t.
I stayed where I was for a few more minutes, just waiting, but my father did
never move, not once, as if in some trance. If not for the fact that he was
breathing, I’d have wondered if he was still alive at all.
When I felt like I could not take it anymore, I left the room, searching the
house for my mother and sister.
I found my mother first, in my parent’s bedroom. She was sitting on the bed, in
between tons of photos that had been spread across the blanket. She was not
looking at them, though – instead, it seemed like she had closed in on herself
– her face pressed into her knees, her legs hugged close to herself. She was
crying silently.
I took a step closer, taking a look at the photos – they were all of me, or of
our family, taken over the years. I saw photos of me as a toddler, or of my
graduation. When I first entered Johnny’s, or of my first day in high school.
Every possible age.
I felt sick looking at them.
“Mum?” I whispered, looking at her, desperate for her to feel my presence.
“Mum, I’m here. Look at me, okay? Please, stop crying!”
But there was nothing, no reaction. Of course there wasn’t.
I let out a frustrated sigh before turning to leave the room again. I searched
the corridors, looking for Saya, but she was not in her room.
Finally, I found her in myroom. She was sitting on my bed, my pillow hugged
close to herself. Instead of the silent despair our parents had shown, though,
she was talking. Talking to me, even though she could not see me.
“You are so unfair, Yuri” she whispered, her voice weak. “Leaving like that.
You promised me we would go to London as soon as I have enough money to pay for
it, right? You have to keep your promises. You can’t just disappear like that.”
I took a shaky breath, remembering that promise. It had been made years ago,
shortly after Saya had graduated from High School. She and Dad had had a huge
disagreement about her future – he had wanted her to go to University, to study
something sensible. But that had not been not what Saya wanted. She would have
had the brains for it, no question (both of us had always been near the top in
school), but she had always been yearning to get out of Japan. Since I could
remember, she had listened to English music, and had had a fascination with
Great Britain. So she had decided that, instead of studying, she wanted to use
the money our parents had saved for her for a year in London.
Our father was furious, and denied to give her the money for that purpose. It
left Saya desperate, and the mood at home had been terrible.
Even if I had understood the worries my parents had had, I had sided with Saya.
How could I not have? I had already been following my dream of becoming an
idol, and I wondered how I’d have felt if my parents had denied me this chance.
So if I was allowed to do what I wanted, why not Saya?
In the end, I had sat down with her for a long talk, and had offered her the
money I had earned with Hey! Say! JUMP for a starting capital. At first, she
had refused, of course, but I had insisted on it. In the end, she had taken it,
with the promise that, as soon as she had found a job and saved the money, she
would invite me for a trip to London as a payback.
And so it had happened – Saya had paid the flight and the first expenses with
the money I had given her. Dad had only come around shortly before her
departure, apologizing for his stubbornness and ensuring her his support. He
had finally given the money free, but she had only taken a small amount, and
had told him to keep the rest for me, in case I wanted to study someday.
She had spent the year in London and when she had come back, she had found a
job as an interpreter. She had always kept reminding me of our promise, now and
then coming home with brochures of travel agencies to show them to me and
asking me what I would like to see. I knew she would have probably liked to
keep the money for herself, to search herself her own apartment and move out,
but no matter how often I mentioned it, she had stubbornly clung to our promise
and said she could still move out afterwards.
I balled my hands into fists as I watched how Saya clung to my pillow,
murmuring “You’re cruel!” over and over again.
“I’m sorry, Nee-Chan” I whispered, but of course, she did not hear me.
Then, her cell phone rang in her pocket. She got it out and looked at the
caller ID. Instead of taking it, though, she put it down onto the matrices,
ignoring the call.
I frowned, stepping closer to be able to look at the display.
Arioka Daiki
I looked back at my sister, but she only stared at the phone, doing nothing to
take the call.
I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, I saw Daiki in front of me,
sitting on his bed next to Kota. Hikaru and Kei were sitting on their futons on
the floor, looking up at him.
Daiki had his phone raised to his ear, and sighed when the call went to voice
mail, hanging up.
“Still nothing” he murmured miserably. “I called a dozen times already, why is
she not taking my calls?”
“Give her some time” Kei advised. “It’s her brother, after all. Maybe she just
doesn’t want to talk to anyone.”
“Yeah” Daiki sighed. “Maybe…”
“I still think we should go over tomorrow and show our faces” Kota said
quietly. “Offer our help. Maybe there is anything we can do for his family…”
“I think most of us need help themselves, to be able to deal with this” Kei
sighed. “I mean, did you see Ryosuke and Yuya? They were totally breaking down,
both of them. And Keito… I mean, I did not see much of him, but he seemed to
totally not have realized it yet.”
“I have not realized it, myself” Hikaru threw in, staring into space. “It still
feels so unreal… I have not understood yet that I’m never gonna see his face
again.”
There was a moment of depressed silence, before Daiki whispered: “I still
wished we would have all stayed together tonight. It would have been easier, to
deal with this together.”
“Or it would have been even more obvious that he was missing when we were all
complete” Kota pointed out. “Everyone deals with things like these in a
different way, and if Yuya, Ryosuke and Keito said that they want to be alone,
we should give them their space.”
“I’m still kind of glad Yuto insisted to stay with Ryosuke, though” Hikaru
murmured. “The way he was murmuring all the time that it was his fault… It was
scary.”
“Yeah, what was that about?” Kei asked, frowning.
“He seems to have been with him last night, as far as I understood” Daiki
murmured. “They had a fight, and then, Chinen went home by himself. Well, we
know the rest.”
“But that in no way or form means Ryosuke is to blame for his death!” Kei
insisted.
“We know that” Kota nodded. “But put yourself in his shoes. How would you
feel?”
“Still…” Kei murmured, trailing off.
It was like there was a hand on my heart, squeezing down on it tighter and
tighter the longer I listened to their conversation. I thought of Ryosuke, and
the way he had to be feeling now. How would I ever be able to put that right?
Before I knew it, my surroundings had changed, and Daiki, Kota, Kei and Hikaru
had disappeared. I found myself in Ryosuke’s room instead, with Ryosuke and
Yuto sitting on his bed.
Yuto had an arm around Ryosuke’s shoulder, trying to comfort him, and Ryosuke
was staring into space, his eyes red and swollen, his expression broken. It
hurt so much just to look.
“I should have just listened to Yuya” Ryosuke said finally, his voice as
fragile as splintered glass. “He told me to leave Chinen some time, to let him
come to us himself, if he wants to talk. Yuya always understood him better than
I did.”
“You just wanted to help” Yuto murmured. “It’s nothing bad.”
“But if I had not pressured him, we’d not have fought” Ryosuke insisted, and
another tear passed his eyelids. “He’d have gone home right after the
rehearsals, and he’d still be alive!”
“He could have been run over by a car on his way to the train, for all we
know!” Yuto shrugged. “We don’t know if it would have changed anything, Ryo-
Chan. So stop saying that it’s your fault. You did not kill him.”
“Right” I nodded, stepping closer, though I knew the two of them could not see
or hear me. “It was not your fault, Ryosuke. You were the good friend you
always are and wanted to help, and I was too stupid to see that… If anyone’s to
blame, I am! So stop beating yourself up!”
“But still” Ryosuke whispered through a sob. “If I had been a little more
sensitive-“
“STOP IT, RYOSUKE!” I called desperately, reaching out to grab his shoulders,
but of course, my hands went right through him.
Still, Ryosuke cut himself off in the middle of his sentence, blinking. I
caught my breath. Could he feel me?
“RYOSUKE!” I called, putting my hands in his knees, trying to keep the contact.
“I’M HERE! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!”
Ryosuke looked down at his knees, to where I was touching him, staring.
“Is something wrong?” Yuto asked carefully.
“No, I-“ Ryosuke whispered, blinking. “I think I’m going crazy” he concluded
with a sigh.
“You should sleep” Yuto suggested. “It was a very straining day… Maybe
tomorrow, you’ll feel a little better.”
“I doubt that” Ryosuke murmured, staring off into space again.
I groaned in frustration, knowing I had lost my chance.
With a quick thought, I transferred myself back to Keito. I was glad to see
that he was alone in his room again. He had changed to his pajamas and was now
lying in bed, the only light in the room the one of the lamp on his bedside
table.
He had his eyes closed, and for a moment, I thought he was already asleep.
“Keito?” I asked quietly, relieved when he opened his eyes to look at me.
“Finally” Keito sighed, sitting up to face me. “I’ve been waiting. If my Dad
had come in one more time suggesting for me to finally sleep, I’d have been
short of excuses.”
“Sorry” I sighed.
“Where were you this long?” Keito asked. “It’s been more than an hour!”
“Here and there” I said airily, the faces of my family and friends still vivid
in my memory. Above all Ryosuke’s.
“Keito” I said quietly. “Please promise me to talk to Ryosuke. First thing
tomorrow.”
Keito looked at me for a moment, before nodding. “Okay” he said. “I’ll find a
way.”
“Thank you” I sighed, sitting down next to him on the bed.
There was a moment of silence, in which Keito just stared at me, before saying:
“Maybe we should both sleep? You look tired.”
“I’m a ghost, Keito” I reminded him. “Ghosts don’t sleep.”
“I thought you were no ghost” Keito joked, but I did not smile. Keito sighed.
“Anyways, you should sleep” I agreed finally. “I need your strength tomorrow.”
“Yeah” Keito nodded, lying back down, pulling his blanket closer to himself. He
looked up at me hesitantly, before asking: “Are you staying with me? At least
until I’m asleep?”
“Is my presence not unsettling for you?” I checked.
“It was, at first” Keito admitted. “But now I feel mostly restless when you’re
gone. I’m always afraid you won’t come back again.”
I smiled a little, nodding at him.
“Okay, I will stay for a while” I promised.
Keito smiled back before closing his eyes. I watched his face until I could
tell he was fast asleep by the way his breathing had evened out.
Then, I fought with myself for several minutes. A part of me wanted to stay
with Keito, in case he woke up, and the other part wanted to go see the person
that on one hand, I wanted to see most, and on the other hand, dreaded to see
most: Yuya.
If it had gotten that much to me to see Ryosuke this broken, I knew that it
would kill me to see Yuya in such a state. Maybe it would be better for me, to
just not go see him.
On the other hand, I just couldn’t. If Yuya was suffering, I wanted to be with
him, even if he could not see me. The more if he was suffering because of me.
So I finally closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, I found myself in a
dark room. It took a moment until I could make out Yuya, lying in his bed.
At first, I thought he was asleep. But then, I noticed that his eyes were open,
glistening in the little light that came shining in through his curtains,
staring at a framed photo on his bedside table.
I stepped closer hesitantly until I could see what he was looking at. It was
hard to make out in the dark, but I recognized the photo anyways – I had the
same one at home.
It showed Yuya and me, at the end of our last tour. Yuya had an arm around me,
and we were both making grimaces into Daiki’s camera.
It was a picture of happy days, of when I could still joke around with Yuya
without second thoughts. In which I could be near him without my heart jumping
out of my chest.
I looked back at Yuya, and realized that what had been glistening in his eyes
were indeed tears. It made everything inside of me hurt, like I was being
tortured.
“Yuya” I whispered, sitting down on his bed next to him. He did not take notice
of it. Of course he didn’t. “I’m sorry…” I whispered.
I stared at his face as Yuya closed his eyes, another tear slipping his eyelids
and running down his cheek.
I lay down at Yuya’s side, putting an arm around his waist. I could not feel
him, and he could not feel me, but still, it gave me the sensation that I was
somehow being connected to him.
“Chinen” Yuya whispered, and I froze, staring at his face, wondering if
somehow, he could really feel me, like Keito did.
But when he opened his eyes again, he stared back at the photo, and not at me.
More tears escaped his eyelids.
It hurt so much to watch.
I moved up a little to be able to press my lips to his forehead. If I paid a
lot of attention, I could feel the warmth of Yuya’s skin against them. Or maybe
I was imagining it.
Yuya let out a sob, and I held onto him, feeling like crying myself.
Chapter End Notes
     http://vflmaeuschen.blog.com/2012/10/11/multichapter-a-second-chance-
     chapter-3/
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Summary
     [some_text]
     Banner by stormy
Chapter Notes
     Next chapter. Chinen and Keito being obvious :) Hope you enjoy it :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
When I left Yuya’s side the next morning, he was still fast asleep. He had
barely slept throughout the night, always waking up after a few minutes, never
stopping to cry. It had broken my heart to watch him, but on the other hand, I
had been unable to leave, too.
It was only when the sun had totally risen that I closed my eyes, and decided
to go back to Keito.
I had expected him to still be asleep when I returned, but when I found myself
back in his room, it was empty. I frowned in confusion, thinking, wondering
where he could have gone to, when the door behind me opened.
“Where have you been?!” Keito hissed, quickly closing the door behind him as he
glared at me. “What did I tell you about not just disappearing on me like
that?! I almost thought you were gone for good this time!”
“Sorry” I sighed, positively guilty. “I was distracted and forgot the time.”
“Where have you been?” Keito repeated. I did not answer, and Keito rolled his
eyes. “Chinen, you have to talk to me if I’m supposed to help you! Even if I
can apparently see ghosts, I cannot read your mind!”
“It’s not important where I was” I shrugged. “It’s not like it has anything to
do with the problem at hand.”
Keito sighed, shaking his head.
“You’re too stubborn for your own good, you know that?!”
“I’ve heard that before, somewhere” I sighed, remembering Ryosuke’s words
before my death.
“Anyways” Keito continued, letting it drop. “What are we going to do now? You
said-“
He was interrupted by his phone ringing. He looked at me questioningly, and I
shrugged, gesturing for him to take it. He crossed the room, picking the phone
up from his night stand, throwing a short look at it.
“It’s Kota” he murmured before taking the call. “Moshimoshi?”
I moved a little closer to him, to be able to catch parts of their
conversation.
“Chinen’s family?” Keito repeated.
“Yes”Kota answered. “I talked to Kei, Hikaru and Daiki, and we agreed that it
would be nice to at least show our faces. It might be good for us, too, you
know, to talk to them.”
“I see” Keito nodded, catching my eyes. “Is everyone else coming, too?”
“Yuto promised to bring Ryosuke” Kota answered. “And about Yuya… Daiki is just
talking to him, but I think he will get him to come, too.”
Keito caught my eyes, and I nodded at him in approval.
“Alright, then I’ll be there, too” Keito said finally.
                                      ***
“So, don’t forget to talk to Ryosuke!” I advised Keito in the car, on our way
to my house.
“I will” Keito sighed. “But I have to find the right moment. I mean, I can’t
just drag him off when everyone’s watching! It will attract too much
attention!”
“Then find some excuse” I shrugged.
“You’re making it all sound so easy!” Keito scoffed. “But what am I going to
tell him?!”
“That he’s not to blame for my death!” I explained testily. “And that I’m sorry
for the way I behaved. I’ll be by your side and you’ll just have to repeat
after me! It can’t be that difficult!”
“That’s not it!” Keito complained. “How am I supposed to explain to him why I
know all about your fight, and the way you feel about it?!”
“Well, tell him you can see me!” I proposed.
“He will think I’m crazy if I do that!” Keito protested.
“Then I will do something to make him believe you” I shrugged. “I don’t know,
like letting something fly in the room, maybe.”
“Then he will think he’s crazy” Keito groaned, frowning.
“You got over it, too” I said confidently.
“Yeah, but it helped that I could see you and talk to you” Keito said
skeptically, while he parked his car on the side of the street. “I think we
have to be more careful with Ryosuke.”
I had not even realized that we had already arrived in our street – I could see
the rest of the band waiting a few feet down. Everyone seemed pale and slightly
sickly, and none of them talked. Hikaru had a hand on Yuya’s shoulder, whose
eyes were directed to our house, staring as if in some trance.
Ryosuke was staring at his feet, not looking up at anyone. Yuto was throwing
him worried looks now and then.
He seemed as fragile as I had never seen him before.
“Yeah” I finally agreed, continuing to stare at Ryosuke. “You’re probably
right. We should be cautious.”
Keito nodded, before unfastening his seat belt and opening the door. I could
see that Kei and Kota had spotted him, and Kei was taking small steps towards
him to meet him halfway. I followed after Keito, staying close to him, though
my eyes were fixed on Yuya again.
“Hey” Kei said quietly as he reached him. “Are you okay?”
“As okay as you can be, in a situation like that” Keito said quietly, not
looking at him. I could tell that he was nervous. I hoped that Kei couldn’t.
“So, we should probably get going” Kota said quietly, looking into the round.
There was a slight murmur of approval before they followed after him. Keito
threw me a quick look, but I did not know how to interpret it.
Kota was the one that rang the doorbell. It took a few moments until my Mom
opened. She looked horrible – her eyes swollen and red, her face pale. I
wondered if she had once stopped crying since yesterday, or if she had even
slept.
Still, she tried to smile at the guys as she looked at them, giving Kota a hug,
thanking them for coming.
I left Keito’s side for a moment to move past my mother inside the house,
searching for Saya and Dad. Saya was standing in the corridor, not far from
Mom. She hugged Kota too, as a hello, when he entered. I saw my Dad sitting at
the dining table, staring off into space. He made no moves to greet the guys.
Apparently, he was not ready to face them.
After Kota, Daiki entered the house, his eyes finding Saya’s, but she did not
look back.
“Hey” Daiki said quietly, approaching you anyways. “I tried to call you.”
She did not answer, and Daiki frowned, opening his mouth to say something more,
but then Saya pushed past him to be able to greet Hikaru.
Daiki looked after her, confused and hurt.
It was then, that it made click. In a second, I was at Keito’s side again.
“The letter!” I hissed excitedly. “That’s it! I’ve totally forgotten about it.”
Keito looked at me helplessly, before he decently murmured: “What?”
I could see Kei frowning at him, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
“Saya gave me a letter for Daiki!” I explained. “But I forgot to give it to
him, and now she seems mad, for whatever reason! You have to give him the
letter!”
“Where is it?” Keito hissed, throwing a panicked look at Kei when he stared at
him.
“With my things at the police station” I told him.
Keito glared at me for a moment, probably to shush me up, and mouthed “Later!”.
Kei was still staring at him, and I decided to give up the conversation with
him for now.
My eyes traveled back to the scene in front of me. Mom was just hugging Yuya, a
little longer than was probably strictly necessary. When he pulled away, I
could tell that he was crying again. My hands balled into fists, and I followed
him inside, watching my sister hug him close as my Mom greeted Keito and Kei.
I could only avert my eyes from Yuya when Yuto had also entered, and it was
only Ryosuke left to greet my mother. But instead of hugging her, like the
others had done, Ryosuke looked at her with teary eyes and bowed down.
“I’m so sorry!” he said, his voice shaking. “If I had driven Chinen home that
night, he would still be alive! It’s my fault!”
Everyone stared at him. Saya shook her head, frowning through the tears she was
suppressing.
“That’s not true, Yamada-Kun, and you know it” she said.
“That’s right” Mom nodded, walking up to him, touching his shoulder to make him
look up, but he didn’t.
“We had a fight, that night” Ryosuke continued talking to the floor. “I caused
it, I pushed him too much. And then he was mad at me and refused to let me take
him home, and then…” He cut himself off with a sob.
Saya shook her head violently before approaching Ryosuke, too, grabbing his
shoulders and shaking him, making him finally look up at her.
“Stop blaming yourself, damnit!” she snapped, in that way of hers that was
strict but gentle at the same time. “You were one of the best friends Yuri ever
had, and a small fight you might have had will never change that!”
“But-“ Ryosuke murmured, being cut off from Mom, this time.
“What happened was a terrible accident” she whispered. “If anyone’s at fault,
it’s those criminals who attacked him, not you. You had nothing to do with it.”
“Still, if I’d-“ Ryosuke began, but Saya cut him off, hugging him.
I threw a look at Keito, hissing angrily: “Do something!”
Keito glared at me and gestured with an angry tilt of the head to everyone
around. I rolled my eyes at him.
                                      ***
Saya took care of Ryosuke after that, sitting down to talk to him, trying to
calm him down. It almost seemed to give her strength, to look after someone.
Maybe she saw a little bit of me in Ryosuke, I didn’t know, but I was thankful
to her – even if she probably couldn’t chase away his thoughts, I felt like it
was a help, at least.
Mom had invited the rest of the guys to sit down in the kitchen with her. Dad
had already disappeared at some point, maybe into my parents’ bedroom to be
alone.
Kota and Hikaru were the ones who spoke most, asking about my funeral and such.
The others sat mostly silent next to them. Daiki was thoughtful, now and then
throwing looks at Saya. Yuto seemed barely there. Keito tried to throw looks at
me now and then, and I saw Kei’s eyes fixed on Keito. It was hard to tell what
he was thinking.
When Yuya spoke up, at last, everyone looked up at him, even Saya and Ryosuke.
“I was wondering” Yuya began, his voice rough. “if maybe, I could go up to his
room once. I just…” He broke off, but it seemed like he needed to talk no
further for my Mom to understand him.
“Of course, you can take your time to say goodbye” she said quietly. “Actually,
I’ve been talking with my husband, and we have been thinking… If you want to,
each of you can take something that belonged to him home with you. You have all
been important in Yuri’s life, and we want you to have something to remember
him by. So take whatever you want.”
“Thank you” Kota said. “That’s very kind.”
Yuya stood up first, but waited for the rest to go ahead. Even Ryosuke
followed. Saya seemed like she wanted to accompany them, but Mom held her back,
saying it would be best to give them a moment.
When the guys entered my room, everyone was dead silent. No one seemed to dare
to move much, or sit down – everyone stood in the middle of the room, looking
around, taking everything in. The silence was so loud it almost made me crazy.
“It seems like he’s still here with us, right?” Daiki said quietly, his voice
rough. “When we’re here, it’s hard to believe he won’t come through the door,
laughing and offering us drinks or something.”
Keito looked at me, but I avoided his eyes. I felt like crying.
Hikaru was the first one who moved. He stepped up to my closed door, on which’s
back I had pinned a lot of photos of me and my friends. He picked up a photo of
him and me, looking at it. It had been taken in Hawaii a few years back; I
still remembered the exact day.
We had had so much fun, all of us, and this photo really showed it.
“Can I have that one?” Hikaru asked quietly.
Everyone else murmured in agreement. Slowly, they started to follow Hikaru’s
example: Ryosuke took a jacket of mine which hung on my chair – we had bought
it together on a shopping trip in Osaka; Daiki the DVD from the first Harry
Potter movie, because we had had this promise to watch every new movie together
when it had come into the cinema, not missing one, despite the movies becoming
worse each time; Kei took a photo from the door, like Hikaru, and Yuto took one
of my favorite scarfs.
Keito stood helplessly in the room, until Kei asked with a frown: “You’re not
taking anything?”
“Oh… uhm…” Keito stuttered, before taking a photo from the wall as well.
My eyes were fixed on Yuya, though. He had sat down on my bed, in his hand a
necklace of mine.
This necklace had been Yuya’s, originally. He had given to me on the day we had
filmed the Hey! Say! 7 PV back in 2007 – since it had been our first PV, I had
been so nervous and discouraged that I barely had managed to concentrate.
Yuya had noticed, and had tried to encourage me, but I had told him that it was
easy for him to talk.
“You are cool” I had said miserably. “And everyone likes you. I’m just a child.
Who wants to see me?!”
Yuya had smiled at me, and taken off his necklace. He had moved over to me and
pulled it over my head, until it hung from my neck.
“You are cool” Yuya had said, ruffling my hair affectionately. “At least for
me, you’ll always be.”
It had been the start of Yuya’s and my friendship, and also, if I was honest
with myself, the start of my crush for him. I had adored him, and he had always
been taking care of me, always been there…
Yuya let out a sob, and everyone turned to him, noticing that he was crying.
“Yuya…” Daiki whispered, sitting down next to him.
“It’s just – I don’t know” Yuya sobbed. “Since he’s gone, I… It feels so
surreal. And so empty. I can’t deal with it.”
“None of us can” Hikaru agreed, and I saw tears in his eyes, too.
I couldn’t take this kind of atmosphere, not anymore. It was all too much to
see the most important people in my life mourning over me. I did not want to
see it anymore.
So I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, I found myself in Keito’s
car.
I leaned back and waited for him.
                                      ***
When the door opened, and Keito plopped down in the driver’s seat, he looked
positively worn out. I could not even blame him.
“Did you manage to talk to Ryosuke?” I asked anyways, just in case.
“No” Keito sighed. “I just don’t know how. Everyone is mourning, and-“
“I know” I nodded. “It‘s almost unbearable.”
Keito opened his mouth to say something more, when suddenly, the door next to
me opened. I saw Kei get in, and in the last second, I could move myself onto
the backseat, before he sat right onto me.
Kei closed the door behind himself, and faced Keito seriously.
“What’s up?” Keito asked, confused. “Do you need a ride?”
“No” Kei said, raising an eyebrow. “I want to know what’s going on. Now.”
Keito blinked, and I could see the panic in his eyes.
“Wh-what are you talking about?” he stuttered.
Kei frowned at him.
“You’ve been acting weird” he stated clearly. “Ever since Chinen’s death. You
don’t even seem to mourn, it’s like – I don’t know, like you do not even
realize he was gone. At first I thought you were just under shock, but then…
Today, you’ve been talking to yourself all the time. Don’t think I didn’t hear!
It was like…” Kei took a deep breath, shaking his head. “… like you were
talking to him, and that’s just-“
“You – you got that totally wrong-“ Keito murmured, but Kei ignored him,
saying: “I’m worried about you, okay? This is not normal! I think you need
help!”
“No” Keito said with wide eyes. “I’m fine! It’s just-“
“It’s nothing unusual, to not be able to deal with the death of a friend. Look
at Yuya and Ryosuke! They clearly need help, too! So maybe we should-“
“It’s different” Keito protested desperately. “I-“
“Tell him” I said finally, and Keito’s head turned around quickly to look at
me.
“WHAT?!” he asked incredulous. Kei gaped at him.
“Tell him” I repeated. “You don’t have much to lose, right? He already thinks
you’re losing your mind. It’s time to take a chance.”
Keito made a face, before facing Kei again, who was staring at him with a mix
of worry and fear.
“Okay, listen” Keito said finally. “What I’m going to tell you now, I know it
sounds totally crazy, but-“
“It’s gonna get crazier?” Kei checked, stunned.
“I can see Chinen” Keito said finally, making Kei freeze. “He is here, with
us.”
There was a moment of silence. Kei did barely move, just continuing to stare at
him.
“You think I’m crazy” Keito stated the obvious.
“I think that you’re under shock” Kei said carefully. “And that you need help.
Desperately.”
Keito sighed in frustration, and I decided that it was time to intervene. As
Kei continued trying to talk Keito into seeing a psychiatrist, I focused my
eyes on the scarf Kei was wearing.
I saw Yuya’s desperate tears in front of my inner eye one moment before Kei’s
scarf started to raise itself.
Keito noticed, staring at it, but Kei just continued talking, absentmindedly
hitting the scarf as if it was an annoying fly.
“It’s common to fall into depression after a sudden death of an important
person, and-“
I gave up on the scarf, and focused on Kei’s locks of hair, pulling on them. It
was something that I had done a lot when I had still been alive, to tease Kei.
Kei groaned in frustration, cutting himself off in the middle of the sentence
to groan: “Chinen, for heaven’s sake,-“
Then, he stopped himself, mouth open. There was a moment of silence, before his
head turned into my direction. I knew he could not see me, but still, he
managed to stare right at me.
“Chinen?!” he asked incredulous.
“Hi” I said.
“He says ‘Hi’” Keito translated.
Kei just gaped at him, apparently having lost his ability to speak. I could not
even blame him.
Chapter End Notes
     Originally posted: http://vflmaeuschen.blog.com/2012/10/27/
     multichapter-a-second-chance-chapter-4/
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Summary
     [some_text]
     Banner by stormy
Chapter Notes
     Hey everyone! So, finally, the next chapter. We’re introducing Kei
     properly into the story and solve the first problem. Hope you like it
     :D
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Keito shrugged apologetically.
“Told you” he said.
“What do you mean, ‘told you’?!” Kei called, obviously close to a panic attack.
“How is that possible?! How can he be here?!”
“Well, he’s a ghost” Keito said, as if it was the most natural thing in the
world. It was almost funny, remembering the way he had freaked himself only
yesterday. “Or something like that, at least…”
“Ghosts don’t exist!” Kei said idly.
“Well, then what explanation do you have?!” Keito scoffed.
Kei had no answer for this. Keito looked at me before looking back at Kei and
explaining, this time a little more gently: “It seems like Chinen has still
things left to do, and he wants me to do them for him.”
“And if you do, he disappears?” Kei whispered, almost too low to catch.
“Well, either that, or-“ I threw Keito a glare, and Keito rolled his eyes,
before continuing: “You see, Chinen has this weird idea about that he will be
alive again when we’re done.”
Kei looked up at him with a frown.
“How that?”
“Apparently, he opened a fortune cookie right before his death” Keito
explained. “And it said something about having to solve his 3 problems to get a
second chance… I’m not quite sure if I believe in it myself, but Chinen is
convinced it will work.”
“It will work!” I snapped. “If at some point, you start helping me!”
“What do you think I’m doing?!” Keito groaned. “It’s just not that easy!”
“You’re making it harder than it is!” I pointed out, and Keito wanted to say
something in return, but he was cut off by Kei’s harsh: “Okay, this is really
creepy, if you’re talking to him like that! Can you please stop?!”
“Sorry” Keito sighed.
“So, if you say he has some things left to do” Kei said slowly, obviously
thinking hard. “Then what are those things?”
“Well, first, he wants to apologize to Ryosuke, and tell him his death was not
his fault” Keito explained.
“That sounds sensible, if we don’t want to send him to jump off the next best
bridge as soon as Yuto leaves him alone” Kei nodded.
“And there is something about a letter for Daiki” Keito frowned, looking at me
again. “But I did not quite get that yet. What was this about?”
“About, I dunno, maybe a week ago, Saya gave me a letter” I said, keen on
finally making some progress. “I was supposed to hand it to Daiki. I don’t know
what it was about, but I kind of forgot it… And now, Saya seems to be mad at
Daiki.”
“Why should she be mad at him?” Keito frowned, confused.
“Who are you talking about?” Kei asked curiously.
“Saya and Daiki” Keito reported. “Apparently, Chinen forgot to give Daiki a
letter from Saya, and now she’s mad.”
“Yes, something was off!” Kei nodded excitedly. “Daiki tried to call her all
the time after the message of Chinen’s death, but she just didn’t take his
calls! And today, she ignored him, too!”
“Really?!” Keito frowned. “What the heck is this letter about?!”
“What do I know?!” Kei shrugged. “But it should be no big deal to find the
letter and give it to him, right? Where is it?”
Keito looked at me questioningly, and I answered: “At the police station, under
my personal belongings.”
“Awesome” Keito groaned. “So we just march into the police station and demand
your things, or what?! We’re not even family!”
“Doesn’t ghost-Chinen have some kind of super powers to bring the letter to us
or something?” Kei asked, shrugging.
“Well, he can lift things up and let them float or something” Keito said
skeptically, gesturing wildly with his hands. “And he can beam back and forth,
but he can’t do both at the same time, as far as I understood.”
“He’s freaking Chinen Yuri” Kei scoffed. “I never saw him not achieving
something he wanted.”
“Well, you have to admit that he has a handicap now” Keito pointed out.
“But still…” Kei shrugged.
“How about this?” I spoke up, making Keito look at me again. “You drive to the
police station, and park somewhere outside. I go inside, find the letter, and
try to bring it to you, somehow.”
“You think you can manage that?” Keito asked, frowning. “A letter floating
through the corridors might stand out.”
“I will be careful” I shrugged. “We just have to try. I don’t want to wait an
eternity until the police hands the things out to my family…”
“Hello?!” Kei called, waving wildly for attention. “Can someone let me in on
the plan?!”
“Does that mean you want to help?” Keito asked carefully.
“Of course!” Kei scoffed. “You can’t just tell me my friend turned into a ghost
and is on some revival mission and then exclude me from it! If there is only
the slightest chance that Chinen will be alive again, it’s obvious I will help,
right?!”
“Well, I wouldn’t have put you for” Keito murmured, frowning at him. “You know.
Someone who believes in that kind of stuff.”
“What is that supposed to mean?!” Kei demanded.
“Well, you always seem so… rational” Keito shrugged.
“Chinen has a freaking IQ of maybe 200, and he believes in it! So why shouldn’t
I?!”
“Okay, okay” Keito said defensively. “Just asking!”
“So finally start the freaking car and get going, you moron!”
“YES, I’M AT IT! NOW WILL YOU SHUT UP?!”
I bit my lip to suppress my smile at their bickering. The first time since my
death, I felt like something was normal again.
                                      ***
We had almost reached the police station, when Kei asked: “Say, why is it only
you that can see Chinen?”
“Seriously” Keito sighed. “I’ve been asking myself the same question for the
last maybe 30 hours.”
“I mean, have you ever seen ghosts before?” Kei prodded curiously. “Because
that would explain why you’re so easily scared.”
“Haha” Keito scoffed. “If that were the case, Yuya would have been the first to
see him!”
“That would have made things easier” Kei murmured, making a face. My stomach
turned into knots as my thoughts traveled to Yuya again. It was hard to
concentrate on Kei’s words as he started to talk again: “But seriously, there
has to be an explanation for it! Why is it only you?!”
“I don’t know” Keito shrugged. “If I knew, I’d tell you!”
“Did you maybe see someone dying or something?” Kei prodded. “Or maybe you had
a near-death experience we don’t know about?”
“Well, I was there when my grandfather died, as far as I know” Keito recalled
skeptically. “But I was maybe three at that time. I don’t remember at all.”
“Well, maybe that’s it” Kei shrugged nevertheless. “Maybe that experience gave
you some kind of sixth sense or something.”
“So why does it only break out when I’m 19 and a friend dies?!” Keito scoffed.
“Well, did anyone close to you die ever since that day?” Kei asked.
“No” Keito frowned. “But if that means that from now on, everyone who’s close
to me will appear in front of me again after their death, maybe I will have
myself committed…”
“Well, I guess most would go into the light or something” Kei smirked. “Not a
lot of people are as stubborn as Chinen.”
“Tell him to stop talking, or I will find a nice stone to fly in through his
side of the window and hit him!” I threatened.
“Don’t you dare!” Keito groaned. “It’s my car, so if you want my help, you’d
better not destroy it!”
Kei blinked, asking: “Something up?”
“You’d better be quiet now” he advised. “For both your sake, and my car’s.”
Kei chuckled and Keito turned the car right to drive onto the parking space in
front of the police station. My eyes were fixed on the building as he stopped
the car.
Keito turned to me, raising an eyebrow.
“And what now?” he asked.
“You should probably stay here” I suggested. “It might be suspicious if you
linger in front of the station.”
“True” Keito nodded. “And you?”
“I’ll get going now” I shrugged, sitting straight. “It might take a while. If
there are any problems, I’ll come back, and we’ll think of a Plan B.”
“I don’t like the sound of that” Keito murmured, making a face. “You’d better
make it. I’m in no mood to be imprisoned for breaking into the police station.”
“No, that wouldn’t come in handy” I agreed. “I still need you, after all.”
“I’m touched about your concern.”
I smirked, and Keito rolled his eyes.
“So, watch out” he advised. “Try not to be seen.”
“Yeah” Kei chuckled. “You might traumatize some poor newbie police if you let
them see a letter fly through the corridors.”
“Only newbie?” Keito chuckled.
“Well, maybe the older ones are used to seeing ghosts” Kei shrugged. “The
police could be full of them, for all we know.”
“I’ll tell you if I see some” I joked. “Anyways, I’m gonna get going now.”
Keito nodded, and I closed my eyes, thinking of the room I had been in
yesterday.
When I opened my eyes again, the bright sunlight from outside had disappeared,
and I had to blink a few times before my eyes adjusted to the darkness.
I took a look around, ensuring myself that I had landed in the right place. I
saw my body still lying on the same table it had lain on yesterday, only that
now, it was covered with a white cloth. I was thankful for that. I’d had enough
of my dead face for a lifetime.
It took me a moment, to find the box with my belongings again. It had been
moved to a different table, and was now carefully ordered. I wondered if they
had noticed that some things had been moved. I sincerely hoped no one had
gotten into trouble for it.
But I couldn’t let that thought stop me now. So I closed the distance towards
the box, looking inside, finding the letter for Daiki easily.
It had been opened, I noted – envelop was torn on the top, but the letter had
been placed inside again. I could see the edges sticking out. Maybe they had
tried to search for clues about my death in that letter, but I did not think
that they had gotten anything useful from Saya’s message, whatever it might
have been.
I took a deep breath, collecting my strength, concentrating on the letter. I
saw Saya’s face in front of me, how she had turned impassive as soon as she had
seen Daiki; the pain in Daiki’s eyes… Suddenly, the letter raised itself.
I kept a grip on my emotions, eyes still focused on the envelop in the air as I
took a few steps back. The envelop followed. So far, so good.
I turned towards the door, approaching it. Keeping one eye on the letter, I
tried to focus on the doorknob as well, trying to open it… Only it did not
budge.
I groaned in annoyance. The letter fell to the floor.
“Open!” I snapped, trying again, but still, no reaction from the door. Maybe it
was locked.
I tried to think feebly, when suddenly, I heard something beep outside. I
blinked as the door opened, and someone in a white lab coat entered the room.
He walked right through me, which distracted me for a moment, before I saw my
chance.
In the last second, I focused on the letter on the floor again, letting it slip
through the crack of the door before it closed.
I threw a look back at the man behind me – he had started his laptop, not
paying any attention to me.
Relieved, I walked through the door, now finding myself in a dark and empty
corridor. There were no windows. I wondered if we were underground. Maybe.
After all, I had no idea where this place was.
I looked to the floor, and found the letter easily. With a little
concentration, I lifted it up again, looking around, wondering where I should
go.
I opted for turning left, which was the wrong decision, as I discovered as soon
as I reached a dead end. So I turned around again, until I found an elevator.
After pressing the call button, I waited impatiently for the doors to open –
slowly, using my powers started to wear me out. I did want to get this done
with as quickly as possible.
I blinked when the door opened, but the elevator was not empty – a middle-aged
woman in a suit exited it. At first I felt caught, before I remembered that she
couldn’t see me, anyways.
Only that something caught her eye, and she stood, staring. With a start, I
remembered the floating letter, and let it fall quickly.
Still, the woman did not stop staring, obviously suspicious. She bent down,
obviously intending to pick up the letter.
I panicked. In an instinct, I moved the letter behind a cupboard a few feet
away.
Luckily, the movement had been too quick for the woman to follow it; she
blinked, looked around, but when she found nothing, she shrugged and continued
her way down the corridor.
I held my breath until she was completely out of sight. Then I sighed in
relief, letting the letter appear once again and pressing the call button of
the elevator once more for the doors to open. Quickly, I slipped inside,
letting the letter fall to the floor – when the doors opened to someone again,
I did not want to repeat the same mistake.
I was lucky this time, though – when the elevator doors opened to the entry
hall in the first floor, it was not empty, but everyone seemed too busy to pay
any attention. I kept the letter near the floor as I moved it towards the entry
door, and so, no one saw it. Even as I opened the door a little to slip
outside, no one noticed.
I took a look around, needing a moment to find Keito’s car again. When I did, I
quickly made my way over to them. Keito and Kei were talking, not really paying
attention, until I slammed the letter against the front window.
Kei yelled in shock, and Keito laughed at him, getting out of the car to pick
up the letter.
“And I am the one that’s easily scared, I see” he teased, throwing me a smile.
“Well, it helps that you can see him!” Kei defended himself. “That was so not
funny, Chinen!”
Keito laughed, raising the envelop to his face, taking a look at it.
“It’s open” he pointed out.
“Yes, the police opened it” I nodded. “But don’t you dare to read it!” I
threatened with a frown. “It’s private.”
“I know, I know” Keito nodded, turning to get back into the car.
I followed him, getting back into the back seat. Keito gave the letter to Kei
before fastening his seat belt again. Kei looked at it curiously, reaching out
to pull the letter out of the envelope.
I glared, slipping the envelope out of his grip and hitting him with it in the
head.
“OW!” Kei complained.
“You’re not supposed to read it!” Keito chuckled. “It’s for Daiki!”
“Yes, I got it” Kei grumbled, catching the letter again. “Could it be that
Chinen became a little feisty since he died?!”
“Don’t know what you mean” Keito grinned. “I think he’s hilarious.”
Kei glared at him, and I laughed.
                                      ***
Keito followed my instructions, and we made our way over to Daiki’s house. He
parked at the side of the street, looking back at me.
“Anything special we’re supposed to tell him?” Keito checked, but I shook my
head.
“What do we tell him about how we got hold of the letter?” Kei asked into the
round.
Keito raised his eyebrow at me, and I shrugged, suggesting: “How about it was
found between my things at the agency or something, and you were there to pick
something up, so they gave it to you?”
“Sounds good” Keito nodded, getting out of the car.
“HEY!” Kei complained. “I want to know the plan, too!”
Keito rolled his eyes, retelling what I had just said in a low voice as they
approached the house. I was close behind them.
They were still bickering as Keito rang the doorbell, but as Daiki’s Mum opened
the door, he shushed Kei up.
“Okamoto-Kun, Inoo-Kun” she greeted them.
“Hello Arioka-San” Keito nodded. “Could we talk to Daiki for a moment? We have
something to give to him.”
“Sure” she nodded, stepping back to call Daiki.
He appeared from the kitchen as he was called, looking at Keito and Kei in
surprise.
“Hey, did something happen?” he asked, approaching them.
“It’s nothing” Keito shook his head. “It’s just…” He threw a look at Kei, who
finally reacted, reaching out the letter to Daiki, who took it with a frown.
“This is from Chinen” Kei murmured. “Well, not really from Chinen, but-“
“It’s from Saya, for you” Keito interrupted him, explaining. “Apparently,
Chinen was supposed to give it to you, but he forgot. It was found between his
things at the agency.”
“Oh” Daiki just said, staring at the envelope as if entranced.
“Don’t worry, we did not read it” Kei threw in hastily. “It’s just open
because…” He looked at Keito for help.
“… because we wanted to see who it was from, and for who it was meant” Keito
completed his sentence. Kei looked relieved and nodded.
Daiki looked up at them unsurely, and there was a short silence, before I
hissed at Keito: “Leave. Let him read it by himself.”
“We’d better go” Keito said finally. “We just wanted to give this to you…”
“Thanks” Daiki nodded, and Keito grabbed Kei’s arm, pulling him along as they
went back to the car. As Daiki closed the door behind himself, I called to
Keito: “Wait in the car. I’ll be back in a moment.”
Keito looked at me questioningly, but I just followed Daiki through the door.
Daiki was staring at the envelope, slowly making his way towards the living
room. He let himself fall onto the couch before he slowly started to pull the
letter out.
I stood behind him, reading Saya’s words with him, as he unfolded the letter.
Dear Daiki,
I’m sorry that I’m sending my brother with this letter for you, but I figured
that, rather than face to face, I could express myself better like that.
When I came back from London, and saw you at Yuri’s birthday party again for
the first time since months – I can’t really explain it; we have not been close
before I went, but when we met again, I felt like I had missed you. Does that
sound weird? Probably.
Anyways, it felt so good to be able to talk to you that I really felt at home,
for the first time since I had arrived.
Afterwards, we got closer, and with that, my feelings for you also grew.
Me and Yuri are the same when it comes to one thing… We are both not that good
with words. But what I want to tell you is this: I’m in love with you, Daiki.
So please, if you feel the same, meet me tonight at half past 7 in the park
where we last went to together. I’ll be waiting for you.
Yours,
Saya
I felt like a complete failure as a brother when I read those words. I had been
too busy with my own issues that I had not even noticed that my sister was in
love with one of my friends!
Plus, I had not even managed to deliver this letter right on the day she had
given it to me. She had probably waited for Daiki all night in this park,
thinking she was being rejected when he didn’t come.
I was drawn from my trance as Daiki suddenly sprang up, running for the door.
He got into his jacket and shoes, grabbed his car keys and called: “Mom, I have
to go!”
“What?! Where are you going?!” Daiki’s mother called, but he was already out of
the door, running to his car.
I stayed with Daiki all the way to our house, until he rang at our door.
Luckily, Saya was the one that opened.
Her face fell when she recognized Daiki, but he spoke up immediately, not
letting her say anything.
“WAIT!” he called. “Before you close the door right into my face again…” He
pulled the letter out of his pocket, holding it into the air. Saya stared at it
with a frown.
“I just read it now” Daiki explained. “Keito gave it to me. Apparently, Chinen
forgot all about it… It was found between his things.”
Saya stared at him, the words slowly sinking in.
“So…” she murmured. “You didn’t…?”
Daiki hesitated for a moment, before pulling her into his arms.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there” he whispered.
“You would have been there?” she checked in a small voice.
“Of course” he nodded, tightening her grip around her. Saya closed her eyes and
held onto him.
I smiled slightly to myself, before closing my eyes. When I opened them again,
I was in the back seat of Keito’s car.
Keito gasped, before rolling his eyes.
“I told you to stop this suddenly turning up thing!” he complained.
“He’s back?” Kei asked in a bored voice. “About time, we waited for ages!”
Keito looked back at me, asking: “Everything okay with Daiki and Saya?”
I smiled and nodded. He smiled back.
“I hate it when you have conversations like this” Kei moaned. “I feel so left
out.”
Keito and I laughed.
Chapter End Notes
     Originally posted: http://vflmaeuschen.blog.com/2012/11/11/
     multichapter-a-second-chance-chapter-5/
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Summary
     [some_text]
     Banner by stormy
Chapter Notes
     Hey, everyone! Still with me?! Because, you know, I updated lately,
     and I did not get any comments -_-’ This was kind of depressing, so…
     If you’re still reading this, drop me a comment? Please, it would
     kind of repay me for taking the time to write this through my
     exhaustment when I finally have a day off ;)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
„And now?“ Kei asked impatiently, after we had once driven aimlessly around the
block, still talking about Daiki and Saya. “I mean, the happy end to this love
story is nice and everything, but I think it’d be better if Saya had her
brother back, too. So are we going to continue working on that?!”
“We should” I nodded, catching Keito’s eyes. “Let’s drive over to Ryosuke.”
Keito made a face, not saying anything.
“What?” Kei and I asked, in the exact same moment.
“Well” Keito said slowly. “I just wonder how to talk to Ryosuke, I mean… You
saw him. What are we going to tell him?”
“What he needs to hear?” Kei asked, raising an eyebrow at him. “I mean, it can
only get better, can it?”
“You’re sure?” he checked. “I’m afraid…”
“Afraid of what?” I demanded.
“Well, that he’ll think that we made everything up, to comfort him” Keito said
finally. “I don’t think he’ll believe us.”
“Then we’ll make him believe us, like you did with me” Kei shrugged. “You were
not exactly gentle with me, either!”
“Well, because you wanted to have me committed!” Keito glared. “You asked for
it, didn’t you?”
“Whatever” Kei shrugged. “I really think we should talk to him. Nothing will
move forward if we don’t, right?”
“I know” Keito sighed. “Just… how?”
“The truth is still the best way, I think” I said quietly. “There’s just no way
around it, this time.”
Keito gulped, seeming not exactly impressed by the idea. But still, I noticed
him taking the next turnoff to Ryosuke’s house.
                                      ***
Keito hesitated, as he has parked the car in front of the house, staring up as
if he was still not sure what to do.
“If you’re not going to move, I’ll drag you up there!” Kei threatened,
exasperated. “Or I’ll have Chinen throw something at you. Your choice.”
“You make it all sound so easy” Keito sighed. “I’m worried, okay? I never saw
Ryosuke like this. I’m not sure he can take it.”
“I never saw him like this, either” Kei nodded, looking up at Keito seriously.
“But this is exactly why we have to do something. Don’t you see? We have to
release him from the blame he is giving himself. He has to know that he did
nothing wrong.”
“Exactly” I nodded. “Plus, if we’re lucky, maybe all of this will be over soon.
We just have to get over with it, Keito.”
“I guess you’re right” Keito sighed, before opening the car door unwillingly,
murmuring: “Gosh, I hate this. Next time, search yourself someone else,
Chinen.”
“I’ll volunteer” Kei joked. “This is much more fun than mourning.”
“Haha” Keito rolled his eyes.
I followed them as we made our way up to the entrance door. I felt really
nervous by now, too. Flashbacks of the last words I had exchanged with Ryosuke
were going through my mind.
“Just keep out of my life, will you!”
I really regretted that by now. If I had known what consequences those words
would have, I’d have thought twice about everything I’d said. Especially since
I knew that Ryosuke had just meant well.
My line of thoughts was broken when Ryosuke’s younger sister Misaki opened the
door. She smiled timidly as she recognized Keito and Kei.
“Hey, guys” she said quietly, letting them in. “You want to see Nii-Chan, I
guess?”
“Yes” Kei nodded. “Is he in?”
“Sure” Misaki sighed. “He just won’t come out of his room, no matter how hard
we try. Mum and Dad are at a loss of what to do. Nakajima-Kun has been here
almost permanently, but it wasn’t any use, really… It’s scary.”
Keito threw Kei a look. Kei looked merely uncomfortable.
“So maybe it’s good, if you’re here” she concluded finally. “We’ve already been
thinking about trying to ask Nee-Chan to come over from Kyoto, if it doesn’t
get better…”
I made a face. I knew that Ryosuke had always had a very good relationship to
his older sister Chihiro, and he had been whining for days when she had decided
to move to Kyoto to go to University there, but I doubted that even she could
help him at the moment.
“We’ll try our best” Kei promised Misaki.
Misaki nodded before pointing at the stairs, saying: “You know where his room
is, right?”
“Sure, thanks” Keito nodded, and followed Kei on his way upstairs. I was close
behind them.
Kei himself hesitated a moment, before he knocked on Ryosuke’s door. He looked
at Keito helplessly, when there was no response.
“Ryosuke?” Keito called finally. “It’s us, Keito and Kei. Could you open up? We
have to talk to you.”
There was another moment of silence, before movement was to be heard from
inside. It took a few seconds, before the door finally opened.
Ryosuke looked horrible, even worse than earlier that day, when I had last seen
him. I wondered if he had ever eaten or slept since… Well… Since our fight,
maybe?
“Is it something important?” he asked at last, his voice rough and helpless. “I
already told Yuto I want to be alone…”
“It is important, believe me” Kei sighed, pushing past Ryosuke to let himself
in. Keito looked at Ryosuke hesitantly before he halfheartedly stepped aside,
inviting him in, too.
He closed the door into my face, but I just walked through it, following them
inside.
Ryosuke sat down on the bed again, not really meeting anyone’s eyes. Kei and
Keito kept standing, looking uncomfortable.
“So, what is it that you wanted to talk about?” he asked quietly, seeming as if
he wanted to get rid of them again as quickly as possible. So unlike the
usually social guy I knew.
Kei and Keito looked at each other. Even Kei seemed to be at a loss of what to
say now.
I had to hiss Keito’s name 4 times before he finally spoke up.
“Listen, Ryosuke, there is something you need to know” he said finally, biting
his lip, still looking for words. “About the fight you and Chinen had, before…”
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?!” Ryosuke cut him off harshly.
“But-“
“No, seriously, can you even imagine how I feel?!” he snapped, finally looking
up at him. “I already feel like the biggest ass, so please, can you just not
ask me about it?!”
“But there’s something you really need to know” Kei threw in hesitantly.
“What do you know about it, anyways?!” Ryosuke demanded angrily. “You were not
even there, damnit!”
“But we know that Chinen is sorry about it” Keito said gently. “Very sorry,
even.”
“Sure” Ryosuke scoffed, his eyes focusing his knees again. “I’ve had enough
empty words from Yuto, so don’t even bother.”
“They are not empty words, Ryosuke” Kei said loudly, apparently losing his
patience with him, as well. “Keito can talk to him, damnit, so will you finally
listen?!”
Ryosuke blinked, before frowning and looking up at him.
“Huh?!” he asked, stunned.
Keito looked like he wanted to slap his hand onto his forehead, or scream at
Kei, or maybe both.
“Chinen is here, Ryosuke” Kei continued, not even looking at Keito. “He is a
ghost, or at least something like that. Keito can see him.”
Ryosuke just gaped at him, not even seeming to breathe. Keito just bit his lip,
apparently not daring to speak up.
Finally, Ryosuke said: “This is a sick kind of joke, Kei, even for you.”
“This is no joke, Ryosuke” Keito said cautiously, approaching him. “He is here.
He has been here all the time, actually, even when you guys were informed of
his death in the agency… That’s where I met him.”
Ryosuke didn’t stop staring. I didn’t know if this was a good or a bad sign.
“He’s been talking a lot about you” Keito continued, when it was clear that
Ryosuke wouldn’t answer. “About how sorry he is. He didn’t want to fight with
you like this. He doesn’t want you to blame yourself. It’s not your fault.”
When there was still no answer, Kei wanted to speak up again, too, but Ryosuke
cut him off.
“Stop it” he said, slightly breathless, standing up. This put some distance
between Keito and him. “What do you think you are doing, telling me stuff like
that?!” he demanded, his voice shrill. “Do you think I’m stupid?!”
“No” Keito said quickly. “I just-“
“Chinen is dead, and nothing can change that!” Ryosuke yelled, and I could see
the tears in his eyes again.
“Ryosuke” I whispered, making my way over to him. I tried to reach out to him,
even if I knew I couldn’t. My hand lay over his, and suddenly, he stilled,
stopping in the middle if his sentence.
He looked right at me, without even being aware of it, before he focused his
hand.
“He’s here” Keito repeated. “He’s standing right next to you.”
“Is he touching me?” Ryosuke whispered, barely audible.
Keito just nodded. Ryosuke let out a shaky breath, before sinking down onto his
bed again.
“Oh my god” he whispered, and a tear that hung on his eyelids found its way
down his cheek. “This can’t be…”
“I’m so sorry, Ryosuke” I said quietly. “I know you just meant well, and were
worried about me, and I just… I was too busy with my own problems. I couldn’t
take your persistence in that very moment. It was my fault, not yours.”
I kept my eyes on Ryosuke’s face as Keito translated. More tears followed the
first one. I wanted so much to be able to really reach out to him.
“I’m so sorry, too, Chinen” Ryosuke murmured, biting his lip to suppress a sob.
“I should have noticed, and shouldn’t have tried to push you. I just-“
“I told you, it’s not your fault” I repeated. “Just let it go.”
Ryosuke couldn’t stop the next sob after Keito had stopped reporting, and I
tightened my grip on his hand, but came in contact with nothing.
It was then, that Keito seemed to take the heart to sit down next to Ryosuke
and hug him. I was thankful to him, since I couldn’t do it myself.
Kei sat down on Ryosuke’s office chair, and for a few minutes, there was
nothing to be heard but Ryosuke’s snatchy breathing, and Keito’s comforting
murmurs.
It was only when Ryosuke broke away from Keito that he seemed to be coherent
enough to talk again.
“But… how is that possible?” he said finally, his voice still rough. “How is he
still here? Shouldn’t he be gone?”
“We’ve been wondering about that, too” Keito nodded, explaining: “Chinen has a
theory about that. It’s got to do with a fortune cookie you two got the night
he died, in that Chinese restaurant.”
“I think we got one when we paid, yes” Ryosuke nodded, frowning. “What about
it?”
“In Chinen’s was written: ‘Solve your three problems to get a second chance.’”
Keito continued.
“So, that’s what we’re trying to do” Kei shrugged, as if it was obvious. “To
solve Chinen’s problems, so that he can either be alive again, or go wherever
he has to go.”
“Though he doesn’t like the second option very much” Keito pointed out, and I
smiled slightly at him.
“His problems?” Ryosuke repeated, blinking. “What kind of problems?”
“Well, one thing was about Daiki and Saya” Kei murmured, counting on his
fingers. “There was a letter that needed to be given to Daiki. We had that
covered.”
“I remember that letter” Ryosuke nodded, frowning. “He had it with him when I
asked him to go for dinner together.”
“The second one was you” Kei continued, popping another finger up. “Now we just
need to know what the third one is about.”
“Right” Keito nodded, looking at me. “Now, will you finally tell us?”
I avoided his eyes, thinking of Yuya.
Keito waited for me to speak up, before letting out an exasperated sigh.
“Chinen, seriously, we’re so close!” he groaned. “Now speak up, finally! It
can’t be that bad!”
“Is this the thing you didn’t want to tell me that night?” Ryosuke asked
hesitantly. “The thing you have been pondering about all the time before your
death?”
I looked up at him, biting my lip.
I couldn’t tell them. I just couldn’t.
Ryosuke, though, caught me off guard when he asked: “Is this about Yuya?”
I blinked, gaping at him.
“How do you know?!” I whispered.
Keito looked relieved to be able to get to the point, at last, quickly
reporting to the other two.
“I thought it had something to do with him” Ryosuke nodded, staring off into
space. “I don’t know why, but there was just something weird about the way you
behaved around him… Yuya noticed, too, but he didn’t say anything… He wanted
you to come to him, if you had something on your mind.”
“Well, then what are we waiting for?!” Kei asked, standing up. “Let’s drive
over to Yuya!”
“WHAT?!” I shrieked, freaked out. “NO! We can’t! Not now!”
“Chinen, calm down!” Keito murmured. “What’s wrong? I thought you wanted to do
this?”
“But – I can’t!” I stammered. “You have no idea!”
“Yes, because you don’t tell me!” he pointed out. “What is wrong, Chinen? You
can tell us, really. We’re your friends. We wouldn’t be doing this if we
weren’t.”
I gulped, falling silent. I knew they only meant well, of course. Like Ryosuke
had. But I just couldn’t.
“It would change everything, if I speak up now” I whispered finally.
“Isn’t that the point, really?” Keito frowned. “We want the situation to
change. You don’t want to stay like this forever, do you?!”
“No!” I moaned. “But…”
“Chinen” Ryosuke said quietly, speaking into the round though he had no idea
what I was saying. Maybe he could tell how freaked out I was through Keito’s
responses. “Whatever it is, our opinion of you won’t change. Nor will Yuya’s.
You have no idea how much you mean to him… I guess you have seen him since your
death. Whatever you have to say, it can only help. So please, won’t you
consider telling the truth?”
His words brought knots to my stomach. I knew he was right, of course… And
after all, I owed Yuya the truth.
“Fine” I whispered, at last.
“Thank god” Keito sighed, seeming relieved. “So… What am I supposed to tell
him?”
“I’ll tell you when we’re there” I murmured, running my fingers through my hair
nervously. “Give me some time to… to think about it, okay?”
“Okay” Keito nodded. “But you will do it?”
I nodded. Keito sighed, looking up at Ryosuke and Kei.
“So, are we driving over to Yuya now, or what?” Kei checked.
“Yes” Keito nodded, looking at Ryosuke. “Do you want to come?”
“Can I?” he checked, and when I nodded at Keito, he forwarded the gesture.
“I think you might be able to help, as well” Kei sighed. “You and Yuya have
been most affected by Chinen’s death. Maybe you can calm him down.”
“I doubt it” Ryosuke made a face. “No one could talk me down, either. But I can
try.”
“I think you can at least be a support” Keito nodded, catching my eyes again.
“So, ready?”
I gulped. I did not feel ready at all. But I nodded, anyways.
Chapter End Notes
     Originally posted: http://vflmaeuschen.blog.com/2012/11/21/
     multichapter-a-second-chance-chapter-6/
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Summary
     [some_text]
     Banner by stormy
Chapter Notes
     Hey, everyone! Chinen finally tackles the last problem: Yuya. Hope
     you’ll like it :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
In the car, on our way to Yuya, Kei retold Ryosuke everything that had happened
in the last few days (or at least everything he was aware of, plus the things
Keito had told him). I was just sitting in the back, next to Ryosuke, lost in
my own thoughts. Keito threw me careful looks now and then, but I did not
manage to meet his eyes.
My head was spinning. I seriously had no idea how to face Yuya. Well, not that
I would actually face him, since he couldn’t see me – but I would have to talk
to him.
Well, not that I had not wanted him to be able to listen to me all along… There
was so much I would like him to know.
But on the other hand, I did not know how to tell him.
It was like revealing my greatest weakness to everyone, including Keito, who
would be translating, and Kei and Ryosuke as spectators. But the worst was that
I would have to tell Yuya himself, which I had always wanted to avoid.
I knew that it was my only chance at being alive again, because there could be
nothing else I would have to ‘solve’. It was just the issue with Yuya that was
left – my biggest worry for the last few months.
Still, as dramatic as it sounded, I wondered if, in the case that Yuya would
turn away from me, I’d even want any kind of life again.
I felt like disappearing right from the back seat and hiding in the morgue
together with my corpse when Keito parked in front of Yuya’s house. Apparently,
Keito could tell, because when he threw a look at me through the mirror, he
murmured: “I swear, if you’re going to beam yourself away, I’ll kill you a
second time, if we ever manage to revive you!”
Kei and Ryosuke stopped talking for a moment, and Ryosuke looked to my side
despite of not being able to see me.
“Calm down, Chinen, it can’t be that bad, right?” he tried to comfort me.
“You have no idea…” I murmured.
Keito did not bother translating. He just sighed as he opened the car door,
getting out of the car. Kei and Ryosuke followed him. I contemplated just
staying put for a moment, but when Keito threw me a demanding look, I finally
got up, too, trailing after them.
I felt like I was facing my own death sentence when Kei rang the doorbell
(well, not literally, obviously. Still, you get the picture). For a moment, I
prayed that Yuya would not even be home.
It was Yuya’s sister Yui who opened the door. She looked at us (well, the
visible 3) like she was not quite sure if she was glad to have us there. It did
not really surprise me – Yui had always been very fond of her little brother.
And seeing him like this did probably make her feel more protective than ever
before.
“Hello” Kei was the first one to speak up. “Is Yuya in?”
“Yes” she said slowly. “But he is not feeling that well. He wanted to lay
down.”
“Could we still talk to him?” Keito asked carefully. “It’s really important.”
“Does it have to be now?” she murmured, making a face. “I am actually glad if
he finally gets some sleep, after everything that has happened, so-“
“I’m sorry, but it really has to be now” Ryosuke interrupted her, his face
serious. “And it’s for Yuya’s own good.”
Yui fell silent, before she stepped aside unwillingly, making room for us to
enter. As the others removed their shoes, she was looking at them with a face
that swore revenge if the outcome of our visit would be bad. For once, I was
glad that no one could see me.
She went up first, leading the way to Yuya’s room. She would not have needed
to, really, since all of us had been here before, but it seemed like she wanted
to give Yuya the chance to turn his visitors down.
She knocked at Yuya’s door when we reached it, calling: “Yuya? Are you awake?”
“Yes” came a reluctant answer. Yuya’s voice went through me like lightning.
“You have visitors” She concluded finally, stepping back in defeat. It only
took a few moments until we could hear footsteps from inside, and the door
opened.
If I had thought Ryosuke had looked bad earlier, Yuya looked positively dead.
And that was something to say, coming from me. He had huge rings under his
bloodshot eyes, his normally neatly styled hair was a mess, and he was so pale
that I seriously felt like his system would break down any moment, making him
collapse. It made me want to leap out to him, pull him under a huge blanket and
feed him. I could not blame Yui for her protectiveness.
“Hey” Yuya said finally as he recognized the others, his voice rough. “What is
it?”
“We need to tell you something” Kei said quietly. Even he was mustering Yuya
hesitantly now, as if he was wondering if he could take whatever was coming.
“Can we come in?”
“Sure” Yuya nodded, stepping aside.
Kei, Ryosuke and Keito entered the room tentatively. Yuya told them to sit
down, but Kei and Keito refused, apparently too restless.
Ryosuke, though, sat down next to Yuya on the bed, looking at him.
“Listen, Yuya” he said. “What we’re going to tell you now… It sounds totally
crazy. I did not want to believe it either, at first, but it’s really true. So
please listen carefully, okay?”
Yuya raised his eyebrows at him. It looked like he did not even have the energy
left to look surprised.
“This is about Chinen” Ryosuke continued slowly, watching Yuya’s reaction
closely. All Yuya did was to advert his eyes, staring off into space. “There
has something been… going wrong.”
“If anything had gone right, he’d still be alive, obviously” Yuya whispered,
though barely audible.
“Yuya” Kei spoke up, remarkably gently, for his usual self. “Chinen is still
here.”
There was a moment of silence, before Yuya looked up at him, his face barely
readable.
“Huh?”
“His ghost, or whatever he is, it is still here” Kei continued explaining.
“Keito can see him, and talk to him.”
Yuya’s eyes traveled to Keito, who gulped, seeming uncomfortable.
“Chinen has still some things left undone, it seems” Keito finally brought out.
“And one has to do with you.”
Yuya did not reply, just staring at him. I desperately wanted to know what was
going through his mind.
Keito threw a helpless look at me, but I could not say anything either. My eyes
were glued to Yuya.
There was an awkward silence, before Kei broke out: “Are you not going to ask
us if we are crazy?! Or at least, if we are kidding you?!”
Yuya blinked, before murmuring: “I don’t know. I – I feel like I don’t know
anything anymore.”
“So you believe us?” Ryosuke asked, as well surprised.
“I – I don’t know” Yuya frowned. “But the thing is… I thought it was the
despair that was making me go crazy, but… I kind of feel his presence
sometimes.”
“You do?” Kei asked, intrigued.
“Yes” Yuya nodded. “Like tonight…”
“I was with you” I said quietly, almost forgetting that he couldn’t hear me.
Keito looked at me thoughtfully before translating. I balled my fists as I saw
that his words brought tears to Yuya’s eyes again.
“Is he here now?” Yuya breathed, looking up at Keito. He just nodded, and Yuya
gulped, closing his eyes. A tear rolled down his cheek.
I could not help myself but move over to him, reaching out to wipe the tear
away, but it rolled right through my fingers.
“Yuri…” Yuya whispered. It brought tears to my own eyes.
It took a moment, before Yuya opened his eyes again, looking right through me
at Keito.
“What did he want to tell me?” he whispered.
Everything inside of me clenched at his question. Keito waited for a moment,
before he murmured: “Chinen…?”
I gulped, knowing that it was the time to tell the truth. Still, it didn’t mean
that I was any less scared. It was only the tears in Yuya’s eyes that made me
speak up finally.
“I know that you noticed, that I’ve been avoiding you lately” I began, barely
louder than a whisper, even if no one but Keito could hear me, anyways. I did
not let Keito’s repetitions distract me as I continued, my eyes still fixed on
Yuya’s face: “I’m really sorry that I pushed you away. It had nothing to do
with you… It was just that I was not able to deal with my own feelings. I’m
sorry.”
“Your own feelings?” Yuya murmured as Keito had finished. “What do you mean?”
My hand was shaking against Yuya’s cheek, and I had difficulties to answer.
Still, at last, I brought out: “My feelings for you.”
It was dead silent in the room. Keito had not yet reported my words, just
staring at me, and Kei, Ryosuke and Yuya looked at him in expectation.
“I love you, Yuya” I continued finally. “As more than a band mate, or a friend,
or even a brother… I’m in love with you. And I didn’t want you to notice, so I
just… I thought it would go away again, with time, but then I died, and…” I
took a shaky breath. “I’m so sorry. I did not want it to happen like that…”
Keito was still staring at me, not saying anything, until Kei hissed: “Keito!
What is he saying?!”
Keito took a shaky breath, before finally whispering: “He… He is saying that
he’s in love with Yuya. That he thought it was a temporary thing, and that his
feelings would go away again if he avoided you, but… then he died, and…” Keito
trailed off.
Yuya only stared, apparently frozen. Kei and Ryosuke were looking at Yuya,
stunned.
“I’m sorry” I murmured again, when no one spoke up. “I really am… I wish I
could change anything about it, but…”
But before Keito could even translate, Yuya murmured, barely audible: “You
idiot.”
“Huh?” I asked, blinking.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?!” he demanded, his voice growing louder again.
“We would have found a way! There was no need to hide from me, damnit!”
“B-but… you wouldn’t have returned my feelings, so…” I stammered. “What would
have been the use?”
When Keito repeated my question, Yuya looked at his knees, murmuring: “I’m not
quite so sure of that anymore.”
It felt like my heart stopped, even if I had no beating heart anymore.
“I never thought about it before, but since you’re gone…” Yuya continued, his
voice tight. “Everything just feels so empty. I… I feel like I would give
anything, to have you back here with me. Anything. You are so important to me,
I… I guess maybe, I feel the same.”
I felt a tear run down my cheek.
“But now, you’re dead and it’s too late, so…” Yuya whispered, choking on his
tears. “We’ll never be able to figure that out…”
“Yuya…” I breathed.
Out of an instinct, I leaned in. I did not feel it when my lips met his, but I
noticed how he stilled.
Then, everything was spinning.
                                      ***
I opened my eyes again to the dark streets of Tokyo. I blinked, staring at the
people around me, the bright street lights, the cars passing by…
Someone bumped into me. I stumbled, staring after the departing stranger as if
in some trance.
I turned around slowly. Behind me, I saw the doors of the Chinese restaurant
Ryosuke and I had been in.
My cell phone went off. My hands were shaking as I pulled it out of my pocket,
taking a look at the caller ID.
Keito.
I took the call, slowly raising the phone to my ear.
“Chinen?!” Keito called, his voice shrill. “Chinen, is that you?!”
“Yes” I answered. Even my voice was shaking.
“So that means you’re alive?! For real?!”
“I don’t know” I whispered, blinking. “Am I?”
I froze as I saw Ryosuke coming out of the restaurant. He looked around,
seeming relieved as he found me.
“Chinen!” he called, pushing through the people between us to hurry towards me.
“Wait, okay?!”
I stared at him until he reached me, the phone still in my hand.
“Is that Ryosuke?” Keito asked, seeming awed.
“Yes” I whispered.
“So that means you’re really getting your second chance! This whole damn thing
worked!”
I did not answer as Ryosuke began talking, out of breath.
“Chinen, I’m sorry, okay?! I did not want to push you, I’m just worried, and…”
I did barely react to Ryosuke’s flow of words. I only woke up from my trance
when Keito said: “I think you know what you have to do. Don’t fuck it up this
time.”
“Gotcha” Was all I said as I hung up. Before Ryosuke could say one more word, I
interrupted him, saying: “No, I’m sorry.”
Ryosuke blinked, stunned.
“I really didn’t want to snap at you like that, it’s just…” I took a deep
breath, stepping closer to him. “I can’t tell you right now, what it is that is
wrong with me. But I promise I’m gonna tell you later. So, for now, can you do
me a favor?”
“What?” Ryosuke asked, frowning.
“First” I said, rummaging through my things, until my fingers came in contact
with the paper I was searching for. I drew out Saya’s letter, handing it to
Ryosuke, who took it in surprise. “Can you give this to Daiki? It’s important.”
“Now?” Ryosuke scoffed. “Why can’t you do it yourself?”
“Because I need to get to Yuya. Fast” I replied.
Ryosuke was staring at me, and I could see in his eyes how something made
click. Ryosuke had always been fast to catch on when it mattered.
“You’re going to tell me everything tomorrow?” he checked.
“Yes” I promised.
“Good” he nodded, that seemingly being enough for him. “I’ll bring that letter
to Daiki. And I’ll drive you to Yuya.”
I couldn’t help myself but lunge out for him, hugging him close.
“Thank you!” I murmured. “You’re such a good friend. Have I ever told you
that?”
“No, but you’re slightly creepy right now” Ryosuke chuckled. “I hope the
explanation tomorrow is good.”
“You’ll get all the details you want” I nodded. “Just thank you!”
“Yeah, okay” Ryosuke nodded, patting my back awkwardly. “So, shall we go?”
I let go of him, smiling.
“Yes, please.”
Chapter End Notes
     Originally posted: http://vflmaeuschen.blog.com/2012/12/03/2358/
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Summary
     [some_text]
     Banner by stormy
Chapter Notes
     Finally, the last chapter of the story. Thank you for everyone who
     followed it until now. I would appreciate a final comment so much, so
     please take the time :)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
I took a deep breath as Ryosuke parked in front of Yuya’s house. I was sure
about what I was going to do, but still, it did not mean I was not being
nervous.
Ryosuke scanned my face, seeming to sense my restlessness.
“Will you be okay alone?” he asked with a frown.
“Yes” I nodded surely, trying to smile at him. “I actually should have done
this ages ago, so I won’t have any regrets.”
Ryosuke looked at me for another moment before sighing.
“Anyways, I’ll leave my cell phone turned on” he insisted. “If something goes
wrong, call me, and I will pick you up from my way to Daiki.”
“Thanks” I smiled at his concern. “But I don’t think this will be necessary.”
I could imagine no scenery in which Yuya would not offer to drive me home. It
made me wonder what Ryosuke was imagining, when he was considering the
opportunity.
Finally, I collected all my courage and reached for the car door.
“Good luck” Ryosuke murmured. “For whatever you are doing.”
I just smiled at him and waved before I got out of the car. Ryosuke seemed
still hesitant as he started the car, but as I turned my back to him to look up
to Yuya’s parents’ house, I heard him drive away.
My eyes found the window of Yuya’s room quickly – there was light turned on,
and I saw a shadow moving around. I wondered what he was doing. If I would
interrupt him in anything. Maybe I should have called beforehand.
“No second thoughts, Yuri” I scolded myself, shaking my head as if to get rid
of the unbidden doubts.
I had nothing to fear, had I? Yuya had told me how important I was for him. He
had said himself that he probably returned my feelings. So confessing to him
should be no problem at all!
On the other hand, there was one fact that left me afraid: Yuya had only
started to notice how deep his feelings were when I had been gone. Now, since
the time had been magically turned back, he had never had that experience. So
maybe he would also not consider the possibility of feeling more than
friendship for me.
I tried hard to suppress those thoughts when I made my way up the steps to the
front door. It still took me a moment, until I could force my shaking finger
down to ring the door bell.
It was Yuma, Yuya’s younger brother, who opened the door. He blinked at me in
surprise.
“Chinen-Kun?” he asked. “I did not know Nii-Chan was still expecting guests…”
“Sorry, I came by without calling beforehand” I said quickly. “It’s just… There
is something I need to talk about with Yuya.”
“Okay” Yuma nodded, stepping back. “Come in.” When I bent down to remove my
shoes, he leaned against the railing of the stairs and called: “Nii-Chan?!
Chinen-Kun is here!”
There was a moment before I heard the door to his room open, and there were
hasty steps on the stairs, until he appeared with a confused face. His sight
made my heart skip a beat.
“Chinen!” he called. “Is something up?”
I gulped, trying desperately to find my voice.
“There is something I need to talk to you about” I said quietly.
Yuya caught my eyes, and I knew immediately that he could tell that it was
something serious. Yuya had always been too good at reading me, so good that it
sometimes frightened me.
“Okay, let’s go to my room, then” he nodded, turning around to climb up the
stairs again. I followed him with some distance, somehow not able to get
closer.
Yuya held the door open for me to slip in. When he closed it, he told me to sit
down. My first instinct was to move to the bed, but I thought the better of it,
sitting down on Yuya’s desk chair. I knew that, when I sat down on the bed,
Yuya would sit down next to me, and I was not sure I could take this kind of
closeness right now.
I think Yuya noticed. He frowned as he sat down on the bed.
“So” he began finally, when I did not speak up. “What is it?”
I folded my hands, kneading them nervously. I did not know how to start.
After a while, Yuya asked quietly: “Is this about why you have been avoiding
me?”
I blinked, looking into his eyes. He was scanning my face, apparently looking
for any clue about what was going on with me.
“I’m sorry” I said finally, my voice weak. “I did not want you to notice.”
Yuya sighed, before murmuring: “You’ve never exactly been inconspicuous.”
“Sorry” I said again.
Yuya nodded, and waited.
“The thing is this…” I said finally. Now my voice was shaking, too. “I could
not deal with it lately. Being close to you.”
Yuya frowned, letting the words sink in. Then, he asked: “Did I do anything
wrong?”
“No!” I said quickly, shaking my head. “Not at all. You are awesome. I-“ I took
a deep breath, before adding: “You are too awesome. That’s the problem.”
Yuya blinked, before saying: “I don’t think I get you.”
I bit my lip, and finally caught Yuya’s eyes again. Then, I brought out: “I
love you, Yuya.”
Yuya froze, his eyes getting wide.
“Huh?” he just asked incoherently.
“I’m in love with you” I continued. “I’ve always known that you are important
to me, but lately… I realized that my feelings for you go too deep to just be
friendship anymore. I can’t stop thinking about you. Every time you are close,
I want to reach out to you. I just…” I broke off, trying to catch Yuya’s eyes,
but he was staring into space. He looked pale, somehow.
“Yuya?” I asked hesitantly. My stomach sank. This was not going the way I had
planned.
Yuya finally looked up at me, seeming totally confused.
“What… but… since when?” he brought out, his voice choked.
“A while” I admitted.
“B-but” he continued. “How did that happen?! We are both guys, aren’t we?!”
“It doesn’t seem like my heart cares about that fact” I murmured, breathless.
“I mean, I’ve never really shown interest in any special girl or something, so
I’m probably…”
I did not dare to say the word out loud. Yuya seemed too freaked out anyways.
That reaction hurt, even if I told myself that it was normal to be surprised.
When there was no further response from Yuya, I prodded finally: “Yuya? Please
say something, I’m begging you.”
Yuya looked up into my eyes, and stuttered: “I don’t know, I… I never thought
of you that way, Chinen.”
There it was. It hit me like a slap in the face.
I should have known. Extreme situations made people say extreme things. Yuya
had not meant what he had said to my ghost. There was no way he could ever
return my feelings.
It hurt. It felt like being torn apart all over again.
Still, I tried to hold my composure in front of Yuya. There was no way we could
still work together professionally if I broke down now.
“I get it” I whispered finally, my voice lacking all strength. I felt my throat
burning, but gulped the tears down hard. “I’m sorry to have bothered you with
this, then. Just forget what I said.”
With that, I got up again, quickly turning for the door. At first, it seemed
like I was too fast for Yuya to react, but then, there was an unexpected loud
call of: “YURI! NO!” from him.
It made me freeze, and before I knew it, I felt Yuya’s hand close around my
wrist, keeping me from reaching out for the door knob.
“Don’t go!” he whispered, and I could hear an unreasonable panic in his voice.
It almost reminded me of the time when he had heard of my death. It made my
blood freeze. “Please, don’t go!”
I blinked, looking up at Yuya hesitantly. He was breathing unevenly, staring at
his hand gripping me with wide eyes, as if he had reached out to me without
really wanting to.
“Why?” I said finally, when Yuya did not continue.
He caught my eyes again, frowning.
“I… don’t know” he murmured, breathless. “I don’t know, it’s just…” He took
another unsteady breath, before saying: “This sounds stupid now, I know, but I
had a dream tonight.”
“A dream?” I repeated, stunned.
“Yes” he nodded. “And you… died” Realization dawned onto me, but Yuya continued
before I could say anything. “And it just… It hurt so much. I was crying when I
woke up in the morning. I felt silly and embarrassed about it, but… This
feeling, it’s clinging to me. It gives me shudders when I think of it. The
thought of losing you…” he cut himself off, staring at me.
“I’m sorry” I murmured, almost automatically.
“It’s not your fault, right?” he blinked. “It was a stupid dream, but it just…
It felt so real, you know. And when you turned to go just now, I… I got the
same feeling again, and…”
Unconsciously, I placed my free hand on Yuya’s to soothe him. He did not pull
away from the gesture.
“You won’t lose me” I said finally. “Even if you’re not returning my feelings,
I’ll try to continue being your friend, okay? I just might need some time, to
figure myself out, and then…”
“I don’t want that!” Yuya said quickly, shaking his head. “I don’t want you to
continue avoiding me!”
“Then what am I supposed to do, Yuya?” I enquired quietly, the pain showing in
my voice, even if I tried to hide it. “I can’t just put my feelings on pause.
They are too strong for that.”
There was another moment of silence, before suddenly, I felt Yuya’s grip on my
wrist tighten. Before I knew it, he had pulled me into him, clinging to me like
I was his lifeline.
I could feel the rapid heartbeat in his chest. I could even feel that he was
shaking, like I was.
For a moment, I let myself be indulged by his warmth. Just this once… I thought
as my hands found their way around his waist, hugging him back.
For a few minutes, none of us moved – we just continued to cling to each other
desperately, not wanting to let go.
It was Yuya, at last, who pulled away to look at me. I caught his eyes, and
opened my mouth to say something, but he cut me off.
“Just stay silent for now” he whispered, and after another moment of gazing
into my eyes, he leaned down.
I held my breath as his lips met mine. I did not dare to move, and nor did he,
apparently – we just stood there, lips pressed awkwardly against each other.
My heart felt like it was jumping out of my ribcage.
When he pulled away, he seemed out of breath. I caught his eyes, murmuring:
“Yuya?”
“I never thought about it before” he breathed finally, his voice unclear. “I
never even considered it, but… If the thought of losing you hurts so much…
Maybe I should.”
I gulped, before I murmured, trying to be reasonable, for once: “You can’t make
yourself love me if you don’t, Yuya.”
“But if I’m wondering about it, shouldn’t I at least have a chance to try it?”
he shot back.
I did not know what to say to that. Yuya’s grip on me tightened.
“Kiss me” he demanded finally. “Please. Make me unable to think. If I think too
much about it, I’ll never be able to figure out what I really feel!”
“W-what?!” I stammered, perplexed. “But-“
“Just do it!” he demanded. “Please…”
I continued staring at him, but the look in his eyes was intense. Almost as if
he was sure about this.
Hesitantly, I reached a hand out to his face. I let my fingertips run over his
cheek. He did not pull away. Instead, he closed his eyes, feeling the way my
fingers ran over his skin… Over his cheekbone to his earlobe… He took a shaky
breath at the contact, and that gave me the courage to finally lean up and
press my lips to his again.
I felt his hand knotting in my hair right away, pulling me closer to him. I
parted my lips a little in surprise, and when I felt Yuya’s tongue lick my
lower lip, I blanked.
My fingers fisted the back of his T-Shirt as I deepened the kiss, kissing him
as if in some frenzy. My whole body felt like it was on fire. Yuya’s scent was
everywhere, and I felt like I was caught in some fantasy of mine, only way
better,because it was real.
Yuya let out a low whimper, as I pulled away a little to give us room to
breathe.
“Is this okay?” I asked finally, my voice almost incoherent between my pants.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No” he whispered, and pulled me in again for another kiss.
It was like I was melting between Yuya’s fingers. I lost all track of thoughts
and doubts and reality as I continued to kiss him, holding onto him tightly,
not allowing any kind of space between us.
I don’t know how long we stood there, our lips locked, until Yuya pushed me
backwards a little. First I thought he was pushing me away, and it was like a
cold shower right into my face, but before I could voice an apology, the back
of my knees hit the side of Yuya’s bed, and I fell backwards.
Yuya caught me before I could hit the matrices, though, slowly lowering me onto
it.
“Sorry” he murmured, breathless.
“Don’t worry about it” I returned, equally breathless. I looked at him in
wonder as he lowered himself onto me, hovering above me now. “Yuya” I asked
quietly. “Are you really sure about this?”
“Yes” Yuya nodded, his nose nuzzling my cheek. It tickled. “It feels good, to
touch you. And to kiss you. I never thought it would feel this good.”
“Then I’m all yours” I murmured, feeling giddy at his words. “Do whatever you
want with me.”
Yuya moaned lowly in his throat before hissing: “Don’t say that.Seriously, I’ll
take advantage of that.”
I chuckled. Yuya pushed himself up to be able to look at my face, his lips
curling upwards, too.
“I missed seeing you smile like this” he confessed. “I missed having you
around.”
“I missed you, too” I nodded.
Yuya smiled gently before leaning down to catch my lips with his again. The
gentle kiss turned more passionate again soon, and I let my hands roam Yuya’s
back freely, keen on touching anything in reach.
It was when I felt Yuya’s fingertips slip under the hem of my shirt, caressing
my sides, that I let out a needy moan. It seemed to fuel Yuya on, because he
lifted himself from me again a little, despite my protests, to pull my shirt
upwards. When I figured out what he wanted, I lifted my arms willingly, helping
him raising it over my head.
I did not waste any time and demanded for Yuya’s shirt to be removed, too. He
did not resist, and when he lowered himself onto me again, the contact of his
skin on mine felt amazing.
I noticed myself getting lost in Yuya’s touch. His fingers tickling my sides,
tracing my collarbone, circling my nipple… His lips were sucking at a point
right below my earlobe as he began to unbuckle my jeans. I was too engaged in
the situation to think much about it, until Yuya suddenly stilled.
“Yuri” he whispered, looking up at me unsurely. “How do we do this?”
I blinked, my lust-lazed mind not quite having caught up yet.
“Huh?”
“How do we…?” he began, but was apparently unable to end the sentence, too
embarrassed.
“Sleep with each other?” I checked.
Yuya flushed, before spluttering: “Well, we are both guys, aren’t we?! I’ve
never done anything like this before!”
“Well, me neither, obviously!” I returned defensively.
“But you were thinking about it, so tell me what to do!” Yuya demanded
desperately.
I raised my eyebrows at him, and Yuya stopped babbling, bighting his lip,
catching my eyes unsurely. I let one hand wander from his back to his stomach,
caressing the skin just below his belly button. I felt the muscles underneath
contract at my touch.
“If I were a girl, what would you want me to do now?” I murmured gently,
hooking one finger underneath the waistband of his jogging pants.
He gulped, his breathing becoming uneven.
“Touch me” he breathed, almost inaudible, but my eyes were fixed on his lips,
so I caught it anyways.
I leaned up to kiss him again as my hand slipped under the fabric. As my
fingers circled around Yuya’s erection, he moaned against my lips, and I felt
him shudder at the contact.
I felt a feeling of power surge through me. I had always fantasized about being
able to touch Yuya like this, and now that I was finally able to, it made me
feel high.
I began to pump him slowly as I kissed him deeply, and soon, Yuya’s breathing
became so hard that I needed to pull away to allow some air to enter his lungs.
He shuddered as he leaned his forehead against mine, another moan escaping his
lips. I took in the sight of his face as I touched him: The closed eyes, the
flushed cheeks, the slightly parted lips…
“You are so sexy like this” I whispered. “In case you’ve never been told.”
He smiled a little, but before he could say anything I twisted my wrist and
made him whimper, forgetting about his response.
I continued stroking him like this, watching every reaction in his face, and
just when I was sure that he was close to his climax, his fingers closed around
my wrist, stilling my movements. I blinked in surprise, focusing on the cloudy
look in his eyes.
“If you don’t want it to be over before we even started, you’d better stop now”
Yuya whispered, and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling smugly as
I loosened my grip on him.
Yuya let go of my hand to fist my hair again, pulling me into another kiss. I
hooked my legs around his hips meaningfully, resulting in our groins rubbing
against each other. It made both of us moan into the other’s mouth.
Then Yuya moved to sit up, pulling me up with him, ending up with me in his
lap. I pulled away to look at him.
“Okay” Yuya whispered, taking a deep breath. “Now tell me what to do.”
“We could start with removing the rest of our clothes” I suggested, not being
able to keep the smirk out of my face. Yuya glared at me.
“You think this is funny, don’t you, smart ass?!” he groaned.
“Just a little” I admitted, but when my own hands moved down to remove my
jeans, Yuya’s attention shifted. So easily distracted, the guy.
I lifted myself off his lap for a moment to squirm out of my jeans, torn in
wanting that thing out of the way as quickly as possible and wanting to stay
close to Yuya. But when Yuya helped me to pull the fabric down my legs and
threw it out of the way, we made it work, somehow.
I had a short moment of feeling uneasy when I found myself naked in front of
Yuya, but when his left arm circled my waist to hold me close and his left hand
moved down to close around my erection, those thoughts quickly vanished, and
all that was going through my head was that, oh my god, this was real. Yuya was
touching me, and even liking it, if the way he attached his lips to the
junction of my neck and shoulder to suck and lick the skin he found was
anything to judge from. I let out a hoarse whimper that I had not even been
aware that my vocal chords could produce it, not having any time to be
embarrassed about it as Yuya’s fingers moved up and down on me, and suddenly
stilled again, leaving me on the edge.
When I opened my eyes again, he was looking at me expectantly, obviously
waiting for instructions. I gulped a few times, but my voice was still rough
when I finally spoke.
“Do you have any lube?” I asked, making Yuya frown.
“No” he shook his head.
“Badly prepared” I whispered, still breathless.
“Well, I did not exactly expect you” he pointed out.
My eyes focused on his again as I reached out for the hand that was still
holding my erection, raising it to my mouth. Yuya’s eyes followed my lips as I
kissed along his wrist and his palm until I reached the tips of his fingers. I
caught his eyes as I nibbled on his pointer finger before pushing it into my
mouth, running my tongue over it, wetting it. It made me smug that I could see
Yuya’s imagination running wild in his eyes, obviously picturing my mouth on
some other part of his body. Maybe we could try that another time.
When I released his finger again, I led his hand to my back, until it rested on
my butt. I tried hard not to blush as I murmured: “Prepare me.”
If I had not been that embarrassed, I would have laughed at the emotions
rushing over Yuya’s face: From a blank look in his eyes to them widening as the
realization of what I wanted sank in, to an embarrassed biting of his lip
before he nodded, pulling me even closer to him.
I rested my chin on his shoulder and closed my eyes, my hands clutching on his
back as his fingers found their way to my entrance. He circled it hesitantly at
first, making me shudder as a weird pleasure ran through me.
“Tell me when I do anything wrong” Yuya whispered. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
I just nodded, and Yuya’s chest rose as he took a deep breath before his index
finger poked my entrance.
My walls immediately tightened at the contact, fighting his intrusion. I
gulped, and Yuya’s free hand drew circles on my back.
“Relax, Yuri” he murmured. “Please.”
“I’m trying” I whispered, but as he pushed his finger further inside, pain shot
through me, and I groaned involuntarily in response, running my fingernails
into the skin of his back.
“Okay, I’m stopping” Yuya murmured, alarmed, but I called loudly: “NO!”, right
into his ear, making him flinch. “Sorry” I whispered guiltily. “Just continue,
please. I want this.”
“But I don’t want to hurt you” Yuya pointed out. “And obviously, I am.”
“Just continue” I urged. “It just surprised me. It’s okay, I can take it. I
promise.”
“Are you sure?” Yuya sighed, but when I nodded, he finally started to move
again.
I bit my lip, trying hard not to let out any more noises of discomfort to not
alarm Yuya further. The feeling was weird and painful at first, but it became
slightly better when Yuya started moving, stretching me.
“Is this really okay?” Yuya asked skeptically after a while, and just when I
wanted to answer, his finger grazed something new inside of me, making me see
white with sudden pleasure. I moaned helplessly, and Yuya froze, obviously
trying to remember what exactly he had done, and repeating it. Finally, he
found this point inside of me, fingering it continuously, and I buried my face
in his neck, panting.
“Oh god” I moaned. “Yuya, please…”
“Huh?” Yuya asked dumbly.
“Inside of me. Now.” I demanded breathlessly.
Hesitantly, Yuya finally removed his finger, not without grazing that point
again, almost making me come on the spot. Yuya needed to remove my hands from
his back forcefully as I did not notice how hard I was clinging to him.
“Sorry” I whispered, but did not waste any time to attack his jogging pants,
lifting myself up a little so I could yank them down.
Immediately, I grabbed his erection again, making Yuya still and close his
eyes. I balanced to lower myself onto him, but Yuya’s hands flew to my hips,
stopping me.
“Condom” he breathed.
“Huh?!” I frowned, staring at him. “You know I can’t get pregnant, right?!”
Yuya chuckled, grinning at me teasingly and murmuring: “No, really?! How dumb
do you think I am?!”I stayed silent, and Yuya continued: “But it’s going to be
easier to enter you with it. You’re incredibly tight.”
“Fine” I sighed, fighting my blush. “But hurry.”
“Impatient?” he continued teasing. I hit his shoulder, and he shut up to reach
for the drawer next to the bed. When he faced me again, the wrapper in his
hand, I snatched it away from him, pulling it out of his hand to tear it open.
I could feel Yuya shuddering as I rolled the condom onto him. He pulled me
closer to kiss me again, and I pulled my arms around his neck, letting him
indulge me.
Then, slowly, he pushed my hips downwards, lowering me onto him. I felt the tip
of his erection poking my entrance, and then, finally, it went in. Even though
Yuya was moving slowly, it went too fast for me to comprehend it, until I
suddenly found myself sitting in Yuya’s lap again with him filling me up
completely, and it felt amazing.
Yuya was still kissing me, his movements becoming messier and more desperate, a
sign of how much he was holding back from moving. His hands were clinging to my
waist, shaking a little.
I rocked back and forth experimentally, creating a sweet fraction, making Yuya
whimper.
“Okay?” I asked breathlessly, pulling away from his kiss to rest my forehead
against his.
“Mhm” he murmured non-committedly. “You?” I nodded, and Yuya’s grip on me
tightened. “Can we move?”
“Yes” I breathed.
The breath Yuya let out sounded like a sigh of relief as he helped me lift
myself up from him again, before leading me back down onto him.
I kept my eyes open at first, watching Yuya’s face, fascinated by the emotions
running over it at every movement, reminding myself that I was the one giving
him pleasure, and it made me feel amazing.
Then, Yuya began thrusting up to meet my movements, and hit that spot inside of
me again. My eyes fell closed, and I just felt the way the electricity our
movements brought ran through my veins.
As Yuya reached out for my erection again, pumping me in time with our
movements, my mind blanked. I felt the heat building up in my stomach, until it
all became too much. I murmured Yuya’s name as I came, clinging to him, and I
felt Yuya follow me only seconds after, holding me close to his body.
I felt his breathing calming down along with mine, and for the first time in
months, I felt at peace again. I found myself almost napping off as Yuya
stroked through my hair, kissing my forehead.
“I think I return your feelings, Yuri” he breathed.
I smiled, saying, despite the butterflies in my stomach: “I would have killed
you if you had said anything else now.”
I felt Yuya smile against my skin and leaned more comfortably against him,
feeling more relaxed than ever. Yuya let himself fall back against the matrices
again, taking me with him, covering us with the blanket.
I did only want to rest for a while, but when I opened my eyes again and
focused on Yuya’s face, I noticed that he had stilled completely, asleep. I
smiled a little as my gaze traced his features, the way his chest moved up and
down at every breath, the way his messy hair hung in his eyes…
It made me treasure the second chance I had gotten in my life so much. I
reached out touch the skin of his cheek, marveling in the warmth of his skin…
Yuya did stir slightly, but not wake up.
I flinched as my phone vibrated through the peaceful atmosphere. Yuya did still
not wake, being the deep sleeper he was, and I thanked luck that I had thought
of turning the phone mute. Carefully, I moved out of his embrace, finding the
way towards my jeans, fishing the phone out of the pocket.
I had two messages, one from Ryosuke and one from my mother. I read the one
from Ryosuke first, thinking that something had gone wrong with Daiki and my
sister, but when I opened it, all he had written was: “I gave the letter to
Daiki. Hope your talk with Yuya goes well. See you tomorrow.”
My mother was asking me where I was, and feeling slightly guilty, I wrote her
back immediately that I was staying the night at Yuya’s and that she shouldn’t
worry.
Just as I was sending the mail, Yuya moved in the bed. Thinking he had woken, I
was about to apologize, when he suddenly murmured something, almost
incomprehendable. I frowned, listening, and the tone of his voice made me
freeze.
“No” he whispered frantically. “No. He can’t be dead. He just can’t.”
It made the blood in my veins freeze. Images returned to my head, of when Yuya
had heard of my death, and the desperation in his eyes.
“Yuya” I said loudly, standing up again to return to the bed. I said down on
the edge, my hands flying to his shoulder, shaking him. “Yuya, wake up!”
“Shut up!” he murmured, not hearing me, and only when I called his name even
louder, his eyes opened.
He was breathing hard, and there were tears in his eyes.
“Yuya” I whispered gently, my hand moving from his shoulder to his cheek,
stroking it gently, making me look at him. “It’s okay, I’m here.”
Yuya gulped two times, before pulling me into his arms, holding me so tightly I
found it hard to breathe. His whole body was shaking.
“Yuri” he breathed, his grip around me tightening even more.
I pulled my hands around his waist, hugging him back, kissing his shoulder. I
remembered the nights I had spent with him as a ghost, seeing him cry over me,
but not being able to touch him… I was so thankful that I could reach out to
him now.
“It’s alright, Yuya” I repeated as his tears hit the skin of my shoulder. “It
was just a dream.” Thank god it was, this time, I thought.
“I know” he breathed, his voice shaky. “I – I’m sorry, I know it’s stupid, but
it just… Why am I dreaming of stuff like that?! It seems so real…”
“I’m sorry” I apologized again.
“It’s not your fault” he shook his head. “It’s my stupid mind and my stupid
dreams and-“
“But maybe, I brought it forth with my behavior” I admitted. “And I’m sorry
about that. I won’t leave you again, Yuya, I promise.”
Yuya was silent for a moment before nodding, holding me tightly again, burying
his face in my shoulder. I drew calming circles onto his back, whispering: “I
love you” into his ear.
Yuya murmured something incomprehendable against my skin, and his grip on me
tightened.
                                      ***
“You think they will notice?” Yuya asked frantically, eyeing my clothes
worriedly on the way to the dressing room. “That you’re wearing the same
clothes as yesterday, I mean.”
“When have they ever paid attention to what I’m wearing?” I laughed. “You’re
paranoid.”
“But-“ Yuya started again, but I cut him off.
“Believe me, no one will come to that conclusion” I ensured him. “How would
they?”
“Are we going to tell them?” Yuya murmured quietly, looking at me hesitantly. I
smiled at him, my hand touching his for a short moment before whispering: “At
some point. When the time comes.”
Yuya smiled back at me and nodded. Then we finally reached for the doorknob,
entering the Hey! Say! JUMP dressing room.
Only Ryosuke paid any real attention to us. The others waved a short “Hello”,
too busy to even notice anything about me or Yuya; Yuto was staring at the
screen of his cell phone, and Kei was indulged into a vivid discussion with
Hikaru and Kota. Daiki was pointedly busy with his back, avoiding my eyes. I
took his embarrassment as a sign that the talk with Saya had went well after he
had received her letter.
Ryosuke caught my eyes questioningly, and as Yuya turned his back to us unpack
his things, I smiled at him meaningfully to signalize that everything had gone
well. It seemed to satisfy him for now, though I could already see the
bombardment of questions coming as soon as we were alone.
Then, the door opened, and Keito entered the room, slightly breathless. I was
glad that the others were engaged in their own matters, so like that, only I
could see the way he hastily scanned the room for me, his eyes flying back and
forth between me and Yuya, asking for answers.
I tried to suppress the laughter I felt bubbling in my stomach and just nodded
at him, grinning. Keito let out a sigh of relief, catching Yuya’s and Ryosuke’s
attention.
“Are you alright?” Ryosuke asked with a frown.
“Sure” he smiled happily. “Today’s a wonderful day!” He patted Yuya’s back
approvingly as he walked past him towards his own place, leaving him staring
after him in wonder.
I turned my back to all of them, grinning.
Yes, a wonderful day, indeed.
Chapter End Notes
     The End :) Hope you liked it! If you did, please leave a comment!!
     Originally posted: http://vflmaeuschen.blog.com/2012/12/13/
     multichapter-a-second-chance-chapter-8/
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