Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1879575.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      Other
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      Horrorterrors/Rose_Lalonde
  Character:
      Rose_Lalonde, Dave_Strider, Horrorterrors
  Additional Tags:
      Tentacles
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-07-01 Words: 463
****** A Mystery Of Proximity ******
by gooberAscendant
Summary
     Fill for the prompt: Did You Just Romance Cthulhu? Rose's friends do
     not approve of her new romantic interest and would really like her to
     shut up about how useful those tentacles are.
     (HSWC Bonus Round 4)
turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]
TG: so
TG: i notice the horrorterrors have been coming awful close recently
TG: floating ever towards us despite karkats loudest protests to the contrary
TG: as if theyre drawn to us by the sweet siren song of ancient and terrible
eldritch majycks
TG: completely overriding their natural fear of grumpy trolls telling them to
get off of the lawn and turn down their gosh darned devil music
TG: and as the resident mistress of the arcane
TG: as well as the ex bff of all that is dubiously zoological
TG: i figured maybe you could shed some light on this situation
TT: I might be convinced to assist you in this mystery, if you have the time.
TG: i see
TT: You’ve used that one before.
TG: shit
TG: okay
TG: how about
TG: if you check the calendar on the fridge you can clearly see that my
schedule is open
TT: Acceptable.
TT: So shall I help you rescue the truth from the tower of deceit, like some
kind of mounted hero saving a princess?
TG: nice
TG: but for real
TG: whats up with these things
TG: and their sudden interest in uncomfortable proximity
TT: I have been calling them.
TG: oh ok
TG: that makes perfect sense
TG: but just out of curiosity
TG: why have you been doing that
TT: The reason is unimportant.
TT: They are perfectly harmless.
TG: to most of us sure
TG: but dont you think maybe you should stay away from the things
TG: considering last time you listened to them it made you go crazy
TT: I am not doing their bidding, nor am I gleaning anything dangerous or
unknowable.
TG: then why are you bringing them here
TG: i dont like looking at them up close
TT: I told you the reason is unimportant.
TG: bullshit
TT: You don’t want to know.
TG: if you dont explain ill have to assume you have been taken again by the
bloodeldritch throes of the broodfester tongues
TG: at which point i will have to come stop you
TT: Fine.
TT: Their purpose is sexual in nature.
TG: what
TT: I enjoy their exquisite tentacles writhing all over my body.
TG: ew
TT: Lifting me up and filling me up with squirming, slimey appendages.
TG: stop
TT: I told you that you did not want to know.
TG: are you being serious
TT: Yes.
TT: That is the only reason I have been calling them here.
TT: I promise there will be no bloodeldritch throes, except as pure innuendo.
TG: ok
TG: in that case
TG: mystery solved
TG: and im going to go cry in the shower for a few hours
turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]
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