Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/1024098.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      Gen
  Fandom:
      Glee
  Character:
      Artie_Abrams, Quinn_Fabray, Mercedes_Jones
  Additional Tags:
      Pornography, Filmmaking, Series, Humor, Masturbation, sybian_machine, Bad
      Writing
  Series:
      Part 5 of Nude_Erections:_The_Porno
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-10-30 Words: 774
****** A Lateral Career Move ******
by merkintosh
Summary
     Artie has a reputation to uphold as a premier underground porn king
     and Quinn's writing is not up to snuff.
Notes
     First written for a prompt at the GKM here.
"Why did you just text me, 'Meet me in Studio 69 during lunch'?" Quinn asked
once she could see Artie past the labyrinthine amount of sets that now
inhabited the AV room. The actual AV club had ended up having to abandon using
the room ages ago and now held their meetings in an unused dance studio. Quinn
didn't know what Artie did to convince Lauren Zizes to let him keep the space
(especially since that troll had as much clout as Quinn just with the
subterranean set instead of the popular kids at school. Quinn sometimes called
Lauren 'the Shadow Government' in her head), but it had to be really good
blackmail to get her to keep her nose out of what they were doing.
Artie didn't even look up from his laptop before talking, "Because I knew if I
called it that you would show up immediately. You don't really answer my texts
or emails otherwise." Quinn narrowed her eyes at him as he spoke.
"What do you want?" She asked, crossing her arms over her stomach. It was a bad
habit she needed to get rid of.
Artie finally looked up from his computer. "There have been complaints," he
said, "About your writing."
Quinn felt her mouth twist, "And they say that people don't watch porn for the
plots."
Artie shook his head at her words, "No, Quinn. Well, yes we've had some
complaints from viewers, but most of the complaints have been from the cast and
crew. Your writing, Quinn, it's making them unhappy."
Quinn waved away his words, "What's wrong with my writing?" She stepped closer
to Artie, enjoying the fearful look on his face when she did so.
"I don't think that matters, Quinn," Artie gave a nervous look around him as if
trying to find invisible back up. "What matter is that they're unhappy and I
can't have everybody upset when they're trying to perform."
Quinn could feel her body heat up. Her stomach twinged with embarrassment,
"You're the director. Tell them to get over it. Who cares if they're unhappy;
they get paid at the end of the day, no matter what, right?"
Artie stared at her straight in the face, "Unhappy people don't get erections,
Quinn. Well, they do, but they're not happy erections and I'm not into unhappy
porn."
Quinn didn't know what to say to that. To be honest, she didn't even really
know how to process what Artie had just said.
Artie sighed and tried to entreat Quinn to understand with his eyes. "Now I'm
sorry, Quinn, but I can't accept any more of your scripts for use. They won't
perform them anymore. I don't want to do this, but it's the way it's going to
have to be." He said.
Quinn felt lost, "But what else can I do? I want to contribute but I can't do,
well, the things that I write about. I'm not risking my uterus a second time
out while I'm still in high school."
Artie scrunched his nose at her words, "You could join the technical side. I
could teach you how to use a camera or do lighting or sound or something."
"I don't want to watch Puck have sex ever again. Actually seeing his penis
while sober may cause me to suffer Post-Traumatic Stress." Quinn said bluntly.
Artie blinked, "It can't be that bad." he said, trying not to think about Puck
having sex either. It was easier to do when he was in the mindset of a
disinterested porn director instead of a studiohead trying to convince a hack
writer to find another job.
Quinn looked at him with rage and fear in her eyes, "I'll flashback to giving
birth. Can you imagine reliving Puck's bigheaded child coming out of your
vagina? It's not fun."
Artie tried to not visibly shudder. "Fine then," he said, "if you don't want to
do anything that might involve Puck--which is a lot, he's one of our biggest
stars--then maybe you should consider performing."
"I thought I already told you about the flashbacks." Quinn interrupted him.
Artie interrupted her back, "Yes, but I mean in the movies that don't have Puck
in them."
"I thought I already told you about my uterus." Quinn said.
Artie raised a hand asking her for silence, "Movies that have only women in
them."
Quinn stayed silent.
~~~~
"So this is a-" Quinn paused for dramatic effect, "-A Sybian machine?"
Mercedes grinned from her position barely on camera. The focus was centered on
Quinn as she moved to delicately straddle the device. "Baby," she said, "Get
ready for a bumpy ride."
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