Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/10935930.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Tokio_Hotel
  Relationship:
      Bill_Kaulitz/Tom_Kaulitz
  Character:
      Bill_Kaulitz, Tom_Kaulitz, Gustav_Schäfer, Georg_Listing, Andreas_Gühne
  Additional Tags:
      Parent/Child_Incest, Pedophilia, Angst_and_Hurt/Comfort, Violence, Rape
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-05-18 Words: 6000
****** A Hereditary Disease ******
by Tshirtsquad1990
Summary
     In this story Tom is a single parent to Bill and they begin an
     incestuous relationship
     DON'T LIKE DON'T READ!
     You've been warned.
     Thanks, and i appreciate all comments and constructive criticism!
One year, seven months and sixteen days since she left. Bill had kept track of
every single day without even trying, he wanted to forget but his subconscious
protested. It was far too heavy to weigh on the mind of an 11 year old boy.
Pulling his lids up and down lining them with dark liner bill felt as though he
were accentuating his severe beauty and giving the world the middle finger at
the same time. If the world asked for a beautiful disaster then that's what he
would be.
Putting down his liner, and widening his eyes checking them for any smudges, he
smiled at he mirror in satisfaction.
"Bill!"
Bill whipped his head in the direction of his door, "Yea dad, I'm coming!" with
one last glance at the mirror taking in his reflection, olive skin accentuated
with deep brown eyes, black fingernails, newly dyed black hair and an eyebrow
ring, he stuck his tongue out at the mirror in some sarcastic detest. He slung
his back pack over his shoulder and swung the bedroom door open to head
downstairs.
"Finally, come on Billa you're gonna make me late for my shift." his father
said turning towards him while pouring coffee into his travel mug. Bill just
shrugged, he wasn't in the mood for his dads attitude at the moment, or ever.
Bill walked through those familiar doors gripping the right strap of his his
backpack knowing exactly what to expect, the same homosexual slurs like fag
thrown at him but the worst was Gustav's gang, they threw more than words at
him.
"hey Kaulitz." Gustav says and shoves bill to the floor. Bill despite his self
control let out small whimper. the other two boys, George and Andreas chuckled
in mild amusement. The bell for fist period sounded and the hallways were
quickly cleared of students, all except for him and the three boys hovering
over him like thugs. The bigger one, Georg, kicked him in the ribs. Bill
clutched the wounded side and rolled onto his other while letting out a hiss.
The blonde bully, Andreas spat on him, "cunt!" he exclaimed before all three
laughed and headed down the hallway.
'could be worse', Bill said to himself. 'they could've stuck my head in the
toilet again'. He pulled himself up off the floor and rubbed at his soon to be
bruised side in vain before walking to his class. This was just the beginning
of the day.
Bill participated as little as possible in all of his classes, he ate lunch
alone yet most of the time his sought after solitude was interrupted as it was
today. Bill had thought he found a place where he could be invisible, it was
the second floor boys room that hardly anyone ever went into, especially not
while the whole middle school had its lunch break. Most kids would be on the
grounds outside sitting together in the grass and laughing while they enjoyed
their lunches. Bill sat against the wall by the sinks, sandwich in one hand and
a book in the other when the door burst open and entered none other than
Gustav, Georg and Andreas. "come on we gotta be quick," Gustav instructed to
the other two boys. "Andreas give me your lighter i'm going first." he said and
pulled a small joint from his pocket. Andreas reached out to hand him the
lighter when he caught site of Bill sitting on the floor wide eyed and frozen
in fear. Gustav followed Andreas's gaze and turned to see what could've
distracted his friend. He smiled menacingly and chuckled as he strolled towards
the smaller raven haired boy.
"well well well, look who it is boys, our buddy Billy! what are you doing in
here faggot, waiting to get your ass kicked?" Gustav taunted.
"Ha! more like waiting to get his ass stuffed!" Georg chimed in, making the
other boys chuckle.
"come here Kaulitz," Gustav gripped Bills collar of his black T-shirt and
pulled him up onto his feet before slamming him hard into the wall behind him,
bill inhaled sharply and grimaced. "gonna snitch on us, Kaulitz?"
"No! I swear! i uh i didn't see anything! please! i promise i wont tell!" Bill
pleaded in an effort to avoid anymore sore bruises for the rest of the day.
"thats right you won't!" Gustav punched Bill straight in the eye and let go of
his shirt letting Bill crumble to the floor one hand covering his eye which was
sure to bruise and swell badly. Gustav crouched down in front of Bill and
grabbed his chin forcing Bill to look up at him. "You know why you won't tell?
because thats just a taste of what ill do to you, i'll fucking kill you
Kaulitz." He shoved Bill away harshly before standing up, "come on guys i dont
wanna smoke in here, it reeks of fag." Georg and Andreas laughed, Gustav gave
one more smirk at Bill before following his gang out of the bathroom. Bills
breath became ragged and he couldnt stop the tears from seeping out his eyes
and running down his cheeks.
Bill waited there until he heard the 12 o'clock bell sound signaling the end of
the lunch period and for the halls to clear, he wouldn't be finishing the rest
of the school day.
 
When Bill had reached his house after the long walk home he ascended the steps
and took out his keys to unlock the door, grateful that his father wouldn't be
home until at least 5, 6 if he went out to the bar with his co workers after
the long day. He really didn't feel like explaining himself to his father and
dealing with the consequences. Bill threw off his coat, kicked off his shoes,
he backpack he hurled his backpack towards the living room feeling the tears
coming, and trying to break through behind his eyes again. He trudged up the
stairs and to his room where he slammed the door behind him, he collapsed onto
his bed and screamed into his pillow. He curled up on his side and soon fell
asleep, emotionally exhausted from the days events.
Bill awoke to the dusk settling over him room. His head hurt and he groaned
remembering the punch he took to the eye, surely that was the cause of his
headache. "fucking assholes." Bill said to the shadows. he turned to his clock,
5:15pm. he sighed, and got up from the bed to flick on a light and pick
something to change into. A pair of boxers and one of his dads over-sized
shirts which was even larger on bills small frame. he loved wearing them
though. they made him feel safe, less lonely. His dad had always been there.
Even when his own mother abandoned him, his father stepped up and made a life
for Bill.
He glanced in his mirror and sure enough his right eye was black and blue and a
little swollen. He turned away, disgusted by his appearance and headed
downstairs to get something to eat.
He could hear the tv on which signaled that his dad had come home, he also
smelled something cooking and his stomach growled as he remembered he didn't
get the opportunity to take more than two bites of his sandwich at lunch that
afternoon.
"I was about to come wake you up," his dad said, noticing in his peripheral
vision that Bill had entered the room.
"long day?" Tom asked his son.
Bill shrugged and pulled a chair from the table to sit down, the tips of his
toes touching the cool linoleum. his dad turned to face him at the lack of
response and noticed the black eye.
"Shit Billa, what happened?" he knelt in front of Bill who didn't look up from
the table to meet his fathers eyes.
"Just some kids from school, its nothing." Tom turned Bills chair so they were
facing each other. he tilted Bills chin up as to get a better look at his sons
bruised and swollen eye. Tom sighed and stood up shaking his head. He picked a
bag of frozen peas from the freezer and held them out towards Bill who
accepted, and held the bag on his swollen eye, wincing slightly.
"well did you hit them back?" tom questioned "and who are these kids? where are
the teachers?!" Bill heard the worry in his fathers voice.
"well it was in the bathroom and there were three of them and only one of me,
what was i supposed to do?!" Bill argued back, a little embarrassed. His father
was never one to back down from a fight or from defending himself, he had a
lean muscular build and wide shoulders, his hair was braided in tight cornrows
and he had an air about him that said don't mess with me. Bill was fair,
delicate and had a long slender frame as well as a rather feminine face, in
fact he had been mistook for a girl many times growing up. Bill wished he could
be more like his father, wished he didn't have to let him down.
"well, forget about it for now, its Friday and you have all weekend to let that
eye heal." his dad smiled at him, "besides it makes you look tough." Bill
smiled for his dad, honey brown eyes meeting honey brown eyes and Bill felt
calmer, less anxious, soaking in the warmth from his fathers eyes.
"i made us some spaghetti, ill even let you eat in front of the tv tonight, i
wont go out tonight and we can watch a movie together."
"yea that sounds good to me." Bill said.
 
Later that night Tom and Bill were sprawled on the sofa, bellies full and a bit
drowsy, well tom was sprawled but as for Bill he was sitting with his knees
curled up to his chest in a little ball on the far corner of the sofa. They
were watching some made for tv horror film, Bill kept covering his eyes and
peeking through his fingers. It was a pretty cheesy film for an adult sure but
Bill still scared easily. Tom caught sight of his son in a little frightened
Bill ball and laughed, he propped himself up and reached an arm around Bills
shoulders pulling bill close to him, Bill immediately hid his face in the crook
of his dads arm and tom laughed again, "maybe we should change the channel?" he
suggested.
"no!, i can handle it!" Bill protested wanting to seem tough to his dad.
"ha are you sure Billa? i'm not sure if this movie is for kids."
"hey! i'm not a kid!" and Bill stuck his tongue out at tom just like a kid
would.
"well if you say so..." It was then that a particularly gory seen of some girl
getting cut up with a chainsaw appeared on the screen and Bill yelped burying
his face back in his dads chest and gripping his shirt, Tom squeezed bill
tighter and smiled to himself.
Outside a few rain drops hit the windows, the beginning of a summer storm and
about a half hour later it had arrived with flashes of lightening and growls of
rolling thunder. Bills eyes were beginning to slip shut as sleep was taking
over him, the movie was just ending and he was cozy and warm curled into his
father. Bill heard a soft snore and looked up seeing his dad had fallen asleep.
Bill sat up and reached for the remote flicking the tv off and leaving the room
in darkness with the sound of the rain beating down on the house. it was humid
and bill pushed a few sweat clung strands of hair from his face. Bill turned to
look at his father studying the sleeping man, he truly was handsome, he had a
strength yet tenderness about him, a flash of lightening lit the room for a few
seconds and Bill took in his dads features, a small bead of sweat lingered on
his dads forehead, Bill reached to wipe it away. Tom stirred as he was roused
from his sleep, he stretched and noticed the small body still next to him,
"sorry i fell asleep Billa, guess i was pretty relaxed." Thunder boomed loud
enough to shake the house followed by a strobe of lightning, tom saw his sons
face illuminated and read the uneasiness reflecting in his eyes. "you wanna
sleep with me tonight?"
Bill paused before whispering a tiny "yes." towards his dad in the darkness.
"alright come on, " they trudged up the stairs to toms bedroom. Tom turned on a
small fan in the room to combat the humidity and stripped himself to his boxer
briefs, Bill watched his dads smooth tanned skin reflect the flickers of
lightning and Bill followed his fathers cue and took of the over-sized t shirt
that was now pretty sweaty he had to admit. As they crawled under the sheets
Bill was overcome with a strong feeling of self conscious in the pit of his
stomach, almost as though he were nervous. He laid stiffly on his back, very
aware of the close proximity to his dad. 'it's just my dad, i mean why would
this seem weird all of a sudden?' he questioned in his mind.
"goodnight baby Billa, i love you." tom said and leaned to give his son a small
peck on the forehead, he smoothed bills hair back from his face and let his
lips softly kiss his clammy forehead, "sleep tight." Tom rolled to his side
with his back to Bill. Bill just laid there staring at his dads strong back, he
could still feel the ghost of his fathers touch, his fingers in his hair, and
those full lips pressed to his forehead like they were still there and a
tingling sensation pooled in his stomach, and slightly lower than his stomach.
Bill turned away onto his side quickly, 'no no no no' Bill repeated to himself.
'this isn't normal, whats going on with me?!' sure his dad was very attractive,
once his mother had left there were women coming by all the time, bringing
pies, or casseroles, offering to help clean or cook, Bill knew what they're
real goal was. His father did date a few of them, and Bill hated it, hated his
dad giving them attention, attention that should've been going to Bill. He
wanted to be angry at him for it but Tom never got serious with any of the
women and was there for Bill when he needed him most. Bill finally closed his
eyes in an attempt to get some sleep but the image of his fathers face coming
to light as bill wiped that bead of sweat from his forehead beamed into flashed
into his mind, just like the lightning outside, he couldn't control either now
matter how much he willed both to go away. It was going to be a long night.
 
The minutes dripped by like the rain on the windows left over from the now
distant thunderstorm, 3:08 AM, the bedside alarm clock glowed a soft blue
giving enough light to make out the forms and objects in the bedroom. Bill had
drifted off to sleep once and only for about 20 minutes when he woke up he
wasn't surprised to find that he was hard. 'maybe i should just go back to my
own bedroom, this is getting too weird.' He turned on his back and looked over
at Tom who was also on his back now, breathing deep lips slightly parted, his
tongue ring reflecting through the dark. 'maybe if i just...no!', no more
thinking about my dad that way! i mean he's my father for christs sake!' Bill
squeezed his eyes shut and ran a palm over his face. 'well just to be sure, i
mean it's not like he'll know.' Bill propped himself on his elbows and looked
back at Toms face, his lips. His gazed lingered there for a moment and he
didn't even realize when he was slowly leaning towards those lips. He stopped
just inches away and let out a shaky soft breath, 'just do it!' the voice in
his mind urged. Bill very gently very slowly pressed his lips to his fathers
and let them linger there for a few seconds, a few seconds wherein his heart
beat quickened and seemed so loud that Bill could hear the rush of pumping
blood in his ears, he felt the cool of Toms lip ring in contrast to the heat of
his mouth. His dad moaned quietly and Bill pulled away and sat perfectly still,
holding his breath eyes wide and dilated. His heart was beating fast but for a
different reason now, his dads steady breathing returned however and Bill let
out the breath he'd been holding. He definitely couldn't stay in this bed for
the rest of the night, no way would he be able to sleep now. Bill, as carefully
as he could, crawled from the bed and tip toed out the door to the hallway
where he tried to steady his breathing. once in his room in his own bed he let
his thoughts race, he could still feel the bolts of adrenaline course through
his body and straight to his crotch which was making him hard again. This was
all so confusing for a young boy who had only just begun to become acquainted
with his developing body. His dick had only been hard a few times before but
not the same way as this, this definitely felt different. 'this is so wrong.'
was one of the repeating thoughts that wracked Bills mind and was only
interluded by visions of his father. His hand slowly moved down to the bulge in
his boxers and he pressed down, he surprised himself with a moan about how good
it felt. He tugged his boxers down to his ankles and kicked out of them in his
bed. He let his hand venture down to his throbbing cock again and he
experimentally wrapped his hand around the shaft squeezing gently, a bolt of
electricity shot through him and he was breathing heavy.
Bill had seen porn before he remembered how the man would stroke his cock
before putting it in the woman and so he tried to mimic that and it felt
amazing. He had rubbed himself against his bed or his dresser in the past but
this was the first time he felt as though he could reach an apex of relief.
His breathing became not only quicker but also ragged, and he thrashed about
while involuntarily tilting his head back and thrusting his hips up from the
bed pushing his erection into his hand. He kept up the rhythm that his body had
slipped into while the images of his father played in his mind, like a fast
slide show of images that seemed to move. Specifically the stolen kiss he had
just experienced. His pace quickened and his breath hitched, he thought he was
going to pee but something urged him on then suddenly his body convulsed in
pleasure and he couldn't control the jerking muscle spasms as he moaned loudly
and the word "daddy" fell from his lips over and over and over, his diluted cum
spilled onto his abdomen and begun to run down the sides of his hips. He
steadied his breath, slowly clearing the fog of his first orgasm. He was truly
sweating now but he didn't care, the cum that stained him didn't matter, only
thoughts of his father, only thoughts of Tom mattered. Bill pulled his blanket
over himself and fell into a deep sleep.
 
When Bill woke the following morning, he stretched out his long legs arched his
back and reached his arms over his head letting out a satisfied yawn. He was
unbelievably relaxed and soon the memories of the night came swimming to his
conscious and he didn't know whether to be happy or disgusted. Sure he had
discovered sexuality and masturbation, he would be doing that as often as
possible he quickly decided. However he was still irked by exactly what pushed
himself so far and over the edge into orgasm, Tom, his own father. "oh shit."
Bill said to himself and pulled the sheet over his head trying to hide from the
thought. He sighed and got up from his bed to get dressed and greet the day,
maybe distract himself enough to forget about his late night actions,
especially the image of his father asleep and the feel of his lips when Bill
had stolen a kiss from him in the heat of the moment. "ugh i can't believe i
did that!" Bill grabbed a shirt from his closet and pulled it over his head, he
searched his bedroom floor and spotted his favorite track pants and put those
on as well.
Downstairs he went straight to the fridge, his mouth was very dry. Upon opening
it he noticed a note taped to the front, 'Bill, didn't wanna wake you, i wont
be back until late so heat up some left overs if you're hungry. Love Dad.' Well
that was perfect, he wasn't sure if he could even look his father in the eyes
right now. Bill poured himself a bowl of cereal and padded over to the living
room, he flicked on the tv and sat down. He decided he'd do absolutely nothing
today, probably play video games and eat junk food, it's not like he had any
friends to go and play with after all. Bill spooned some of the cereal into his
mouth, yup today he'd just relax.
 
Bill didn't remember falling asleep but he was awoken by a hand gently shaking
his shoulder, he was stretched out on the couch and it was completely dark
except for the glow of the tv.
"Bill, wake up." his dad said. Bill rubbed the afterglow of his dream from his
eyes and sat up, his dad plopped down next to him on the couch legs spread and
one arm draped over the back of the sofa. Bill could smell the whiskey and
cigarettes on his father, of course he had been at the bar all day and night.
Bill wasn't surprised, this had become the norm on the weekends.
"Dad? are you drunk?" Bill questioned.
Tom straightened up a bit, "no i only had a few." tom stood up and wobbled
slightly, "come on Bill time for bed."
Bill stood up and reached for the remote to turn off the tv. Tom caught Bills
arm by the wrist, a little shocked Bill looked up at his father wide eyed, Tom
took a step closer to his son closing the space between them, he released bills
arm and moved instead ran his fingers through Bills soft dark hair, Tom leaned
down so his mouth was inches from Bills ear. Bill was frozen, so many different
emotions coursed through him, and he could feel his dads hot breath on his
neck.
"Billa," Tom whispered. "I was awake when you kissed me last night."
Bills heart leaped and he was panicking, he parted his lips willing himself to
say something, anything any sort of explanation.
Tom straightened back up looking down to meet his sons wide eyes and slack jaw.
Bill finally found his words. "I'm sorry dad! please, i didn't mean to i
just...I'm sorry daddy!" Tears were forming behind Bills eyes, and he felt
naked standing there, his dad must've thought he was disgusting, he would stop
loving him, throw him out to the streets. Bills thoughts were flooding and
damming up his mind causing his emotions to take over and a tear slid down his
cheek and he inhaled sharply whimpering a little as he did.
"It's wrong Bill, what did you think you were doing?" Tom questioned not taking
his eyes from Bills. Bill was openly weeping now and stepped back curling up
onto the farthest corner of the couch. he brought his knees to his chest and
buried his head in his arms trying to his.
"I'm sorry daddy, i'm so sorry." was all Bill could choke out between the sobs
that wracked though his body. Tom sat down next to Bill and wrapped and arm
around the small boy, "Billa." he said softly, he cupped his hand under Bills
chin and forced him to look up. Just them Tom leaned forward and pressed his
mouth to Bills. Bill was shocked he didn't react, didn't return the kiss, his
eyes were still wide open staring at his dads closed lids and long eyelashes.
Bill felt dizzy like his emotions were being pushed and pulled, ripped and
torn, and overflowing. It was like speeding down a highway and not only have
the breaks gone out but the steering as well, headed for disaster.
Tom pulled back and took in his sons face, the wet eyelashes and reddened
cheeks but he was still beautiful. Tom pulled Bill onto his lap so that the boy
was straddling him, Bill was so small and light that Tom could've sworn he was
a little doll.
"what do you want Billa?" Tom whispered, but he wasn't looking Bill in the eye
anymore, he was drinking in Bills tiny frame with his eyes, he put both hands
on bills hips, thumbing his slightly protruding hip bones. Bills breath hitched
and he felt the same tingle as the previous night begin to spark in his stomach
and spread through his veins making his blood boil and a wave of heat wash over
him. he titled his head back and sighed exposing his neck, Tom saw the sweet
exposed flesh and ran his tongue under Bills jawline. Bill was letting out
quiet moans now, slowly beginning to unravel and lose control. Tom continued to
place kisses up and down his sons slender neck.
"mmmmm, Bill I've wanted to touch you for so long, taste you." He sucked hard
at the sweet spot on Bills neck. Bill let out a strangled cry, his voice
cracking in the middle of it.
"But i can't Billa." Tom looked at bill,"you're 11 years old." Tom tightened
his grip on Bills hips, digging his strong fingers into the smooth flesh. Bill
chocked back a cry of pain. "i'm 29, and the punchline is i'm you're fucking
daddy." Tom loosened his grip on the boy.
"Please daddy." Bill whined.
" mmmm i like when you call me that." Tom moaned.
"I won't tell, i just love you so much and just thinking of you makes me..."
Bill tried to find the right word.
"Hard?" His dad offered, smirking.
Bill looked down blushing and feeling hot all over.
"why don't you share my bed tonight Billa." Tom suggested.
Bill made eye contact with his dad, a smile playing on his lips.
"come on baby." Tom said and picked Bill up, bill wrapped his legs around his
dads waist and his arms around his neck letting himself be carried to the
bedroom. he planted small kisses on his dads neck as they went upstairs. "mmmm,
Billa." Tom threw Bill onto the mattress.
"take off your clothes baby." Tom instructed while already undressing himself.
Bill did as he was told and sat at the edge of the bed, legs dangling over the
side. He was taking in his fathers naked form, all of it, and he was extremely
aroused by what he saw. The tanned skin, defined and toned muscles from years
of physical labor at the factory, and of course his cock he was big Bill
blushed wanting to reach out and touch it, grip it and feel the firmness. Tom
pushed Bill back onto the bed, hovering over him he guided Bill further up onto
the mattress, Tom hungrily crashed their mouths together and let his hands roam
the small body beneath him. Bill was in ecstasy. He let his eyes close and gave
himself over fully to Tom. Tom, he was kissing Tom, and Tom was kissing him.
His heart was pounding like crazy. Tom hooked his thumb in Bills mouth and
pulled his jaw open so he could slide his tongue in and taste Bill fully, Bill
let out a long moan and Tom groaned back in response, His hips were
involuntarily moving to find friction, his cock rutting into Bills stomach and
leaving a wet trail of precum.
"you're such a fucking tease Bill," Tom stuck two fingers into bills mouth and
Bill lapped at them greedily " wearing those tight t-shirts that ride up and,
they way you line your eyes." Tom removed the digits from Bills wet, hot mouth
and reached down between Bills legs finding his opening and gently circling his
fingers over his hole. Bill panicked and froze, he didn't like this feeling,
didn't know what was going to happen.
Tom bit and sucked at Bills neck and then pushed both fingers inside of him.
Bill screamed, he dug his nails into his dads shoulders.
"no! stop! it hurts! please stop daddy!" Bill cried out, pleading with his
father, tears forming in his eyes. Tom scissored his fingers, stretching Bill.
Bill was whimpering, he felt dizzy.
"I'm gonna fuck you baby." Tom said, lips pressed to the shell of Bills ear.
Panic washed over Bill and he was terrified,
"No! you can't! It won't fit! you'll rip me!" Bill was sobbing now, hot salty
tears running down his cheeks. No his father wouldn't go through with it,
surely he would stop. This wasn't his father, his father was kind, patient and
tender towards Bill, no this was someone else. Tom removed his fingers then
spit into his hand, rubbing it over his shaft. Bill tried to get away, to move
out from under Tom but Tom was much stronger than him, Bill was fragile and
weak. Bill knew he'd break. Tom grabbed his arms and pinned them above Bills
head with one hand.
"shut up!" Tom slapped him hard across the face. Bill was shocked he couldn't
speak, his tears stopped abruptly. He stared up at Tom, there was no tenderness
behind his eyes anymore, and Bill was scared, he didn't want to anger this
version of Tom. Just then he felt the head of Toms cock pressing against his
opening. Bills tears started again and he whimpered. Tom thrust hard into Bill
and Bill gasped. He couldn't breathe, he tried but the wind was knocked out of
him. Tom groaned and pulled out slightly before thrusting in all the way
burying himself to the hilt. Bill found his breath and screamed. Tom covered
his mouth with his other hand and Bill continued to scream and to cry. Bill was
being ripped open, 'i'm gonna die!' was the only thought in Bills mind and the
room began to spin and it all seemed so surreal. he seemed far away, his father
thrusting into him mercilessly, moaning and repeating various curse words as
well as Bills nickname. Bill saw darkness creep into the corner of his
peripherals.
"You asked for this Bill, i'm just giving it to you. ooooh Billa you're so
fucking tight. Goddamn you little slut!" Tom shuddered over him and his
movements became erratic and he came deep inside of Bill. Bills eyes shut and
his head fell to the side as he passed out.
 
Bill didn't remember when he fainted, his eyes blinked open and narrowed at the
morning light as he came to realizing that he was in his fathers bed, naked. He
curled onto his side but hissed at the pain in his lower abdomen and back, he
didn't expect to see Tom sitting up in bed, a bottle of beer in his had and
tears on his cheeks, eyes red. 'How long had he been awake? How long had he
been crying?' Bill wondered. He was a little nervous, didn't know what to say,
didn't know what Tom would say. Bill looked up at Tom with wide eyes, mouth
slightly parted breathing shallowly. Tom looked down and met Bills eyes, his
eyes were full of pain. Suddenly without warning Tom threw the bottle against
the wall smashing it with a loud crash that made Bill jump.
"Don't look at me like that!" Tom yelled at his son and buried his face in his
hands as a sob wracked his body. Bill didn't move, he didn't know what to do or
say.
Tom got up from the bed and ran to the bathroom in his bedroom, Bill heard
retching sounds. Some deep rooted concern that he still had, propelled him to
the bathroom. throwing the sheet off he saw the dried flaky blood on his
thighs, and on the sheets. He felt as though he'd be sick too. Tom was sitting
next to the toilet when Bill silently stepped into the bathroom. He decided to
draw a bath, hoping to wash away the night and all it's damning evidence with
the warm clear water. when it was full Bill stepped in and sat down, the heat
felt great on his sore muscles. He held out a small hand to Tom who just looked
between the outstretched hand and Bills eyes and back before he joined his son
in the bath. Bill leaned back against Toms chest. Tom felt like crying all over
again at the small olive branch of compassion his son was extending.
"I'm so sorry baby." Tom kissed the top of Bills head and wrapped his arms
around him, "i love you so much."
"I know daddy."
"it's just there's a side of me Bill, a side that i have to keep locked away,
it's just sometimes, like when i drink that it surfaces." Tom sighed a shaky
breath. "I just never thought i'd hurt you, i hated myself for the feelings i
had towards you, the perverse fucked up feelings that i can't make go away,
they're just always there waiting in the shadows. I could never ask you to
forgive me."
Bill was quiet, he was exhausted and confused by his emotions.
"Is that why i have, um, feelings towards you? You know the kind family
shouldn't have for each other?" Bill asked.
"I'm not sure, maybe so. I'd hate to think this is some hereditary defect, you
deserve to be normal, happy, have a good childhood. you're so beautiful."
"But, i'm not normal, and most of the time im not happy. I have always been
able to feel happy around you." Bill sighed,"I have no friends, i get beat up
at school. I just don't care about going at all, i don't even care about having
friends. I'm just a freak."
"You're not a freak Bill. You're perfect, people just don't see it and who
knows if they will, people are ignorant and selfish Bill. But i guess i'm not
one to be giving life lessons."
They sat there in a complacent silence just holding onto each other until the
bathwater turned lukewarm, then cool.
"I won't tell anyone, and i think i can forgive you." Bill said breaking the
spell.
"Bill, i don't deserve you."
"Are we gonna be ok dad?"
Bill couldn't see the worry in Tom's eyes and the way the lines on his forehead
wrinkled with a defeated frown. Truth is Tom had no idea. All he knew was that
he would try everything in his power to never hurt his Bill again, but he was
still scared, scared of what he was capable of. Mostly scared of the thoughts
in his mind the ones he knew would never go away, they'd feed on him like they
always had. If Tom could find a way to keep them satisfied just enough, then
maybe he could keep the control.
Yea Billa, we'll be ok."
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!