Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/616213.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Glee, Bandom
  Relationship:
      Kurt_Hummel/Spencer_Smith
  Additional Tags:
      First_Time, First_Kiss, Crossover, WIP_Amnesty
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-12-30 Words: 22627
****** A Divergent Path ******
by sperrywink
Summary
     After their fight in the coffee shop about Blaine dating Rachel,
     things don’t go back to normal providing the space for Kurt to meet a
     different boy.
Notes
     beta'd by gemmi999, but I never did find the motivation to really
     implement her thoughts, so all problems are definitely mine. I just
     wanted to give thanks where it was due. One of the main critiques was
     that there is no conflict in this story, and they were totally right
     about that. If continuous fluff is not your idea of fun, this is not
     the story for you. Although I put it down as a WIP, I think it ends
     at a decent place.
After their fight in the coffee shop about Blaine dating Rachel, things don’t
go back to normal. Blaine was avoiding him and although Kurt missed him, he was
still upset too. Unfortunately for Kurt, this made him lonelier than ever at
Dalton. The rest of the Warblers were friendly but distant just like the rest
of the students. He hadn’t quite realized how much time he spent with Blaine
until that wasn’t an option any more.
Without Blaine to joke with between classes or to sit with at Warbler practice,
Kurt felt adrift. His days ran together in a boring symphony of classes and
chores. About a week into their fight, Kurt arrived early for Warbler practice
since he didn’t have Blaine dragging him out for coffee beforehand. He figured
he could work on his English essay while he waited. Ignoring the dull pain that
thought brought, Kurt tightened his hold on his shoulder strap and strode
confidently down the hallway reminding himself that his grades had never been
better.
About halfway down the hall to the Warbler practice room, Kurt realized the
rhythmic thumping wasn’t his imagination, but was instead coming from one of
the other rooms in the hallway. He had never investigated this corridor, always
being late to practice as Blaine distracted him, so now he curiously approached
the room and peered through the slightly ajar door.
Inside was a boy with his Dalton blazer off and the sleeves of his button-down
rolled up as he lightly tapped out a drum roll on an impressive drum kit. His
eyes were closed as he kept speeding up the rhythm faster and faster until he
hit a wrong note and then he crashed to a stop and wiped his brow with the back
of one hand. His hair was short and styled into little spikes and his cheeks
were rounded. He was cute and Kurt thought he might be in his chemistry class.
He seemed to recall him hanging out with a hyperactive, shorter boy.
When the boy opened his eyes, his gaze landed right on Kurt and Kurt blushed
slightly at being caught. He did take a moment to appreciate the deep blue of
the boy’s eyes, though. The other boy said, “Oh, damn, did I interrupt Warbler
practice again? Tell Wes I’m sorry. I thought it started at four.”
Kurt smiled and waved one hand in a little understanding gesture. “Warbler
practice hasn’t started yet. I’m early. I just heard the drumming and wanted to
check it out. You’re very good.” And he was; the drumming had been fast,
complicated, and precise. Much better than the basic beating that Finn did on
his drum kit at home.
The other boy had stood up by this time and walked to the front of the room to
stand by Kurt. His pants were low-riders, showing off his hips even with the
loose Dalton shirt. He smiled shyly, which made Kurt’s heart tug. He said,
“Thanks. And thanks for interrupting. I thought it was earlier, so I probably
would have interrupted Warbler practice anyway and Wes gets really pissy when I
do that. He says I throw off their harmonies.”
Kurt smiled back at the boy and belated held out his hand. ”I’m Kurt, by the
way.”
As he shook Kurt’s hand, the boy replied, “I know. The wonder boy counter-tenor
who’s going to round out their sound; I share History with David. He’s all
jazzed you joined The Warblers. But I’m Spencer. Spencer Smith.”
Warmth bloomed in Kurt’s chest at hearing that David valued his contribution to
The Warblers. Maybe he wasn’t as alone as he felt. Feeling charitable towards
Spencer now, Kurt took a closer look at him and asked, “Don’t we have Chemistry
together?”
Beaming at Kurt, Spencer said, “Yes. I partner with my friend Brendon about two
rows behind you.” He then blushed becomingly, but Kurt didn’t know why. He did
realize that a sweaty, blushing Spencer was a beautiful sight to behold.
Reminding himself that the chances that Spencer was gay were slim at best, he
sighed internally. The last thing he needed would be to fall for another
straight boy. Thinking of Blaine again, he almost snorted out loud. Apparently
it wasn’t safe for him to fall for the supposedly gay boys either.
Kurt said, “Hopefully Brendon is a better partner than mine. Gerard is all
thumbs and too busy drawing zombies.”
“Oh, no, Brendon is a disaster. Besides which, he hates chemistry. Getting him
to concentrate and help is always a trial.”
Kurt chuckled at that. “Sounds like we should hook Gerard and Brendon up and
save ourselves.”
“I think that much chaos might be too much for the cosmos to handle.”
They both laughed at that and Kurt eased closer to Spencer to better see his
eyes. They really were beautiful. He knew he was flirting, but it was so hard
to monitor and dampen his every urge. Plus, Spencer didn’t seem to mind.
Spencer was leaning towards him in return and they kept making eye contact
before one of them would duck and turn away for a second, and then peek back at
the other. It was the most blatant and reciprocated flirting Kurt had ever done
and his heart was starting to beat faster.
Rubbing one hand along the back of his neck, Spencer said, “I don’t mean to
pry, but are you and Blaine Anderson not seeing each other anymore?”
Kurt sputtered. “Blaine and I were never dating. Why would you think that?”
“Sorry. You were always together and now you’re not so I assumed that you broke
up.”
Not wanting to explain their fight, which he was beginning to realize was half
his fault, he crossed his arms defensively and replied, “There was definitely
nothing romantic going on between Blaine and me.”
“So it would be all right if I asked you out?”
Blushing furiously and dropping his arms uncertainly, Kurt stared at Spencer,
shocked. “What?”
“Unless you’re seeing someone else?”
“No, no one.”
“Just not interested in me. I get it.” Now Spencer looked massively
uncomfortable and was turning away from Kurt to grab his blazer and bag.
Kurt choked for a second before finding his voice. Of course it was a couple
octaves higher, but it did the job, finally. “No! No, you just caught me off-
guard. I’d love to go out with you. Really.”
Spencer halted and looked back hopefully. “Really? But seriously, you don’t
have to if you don’t want. I won’t bother you again.”
Reaching out a hand to lay it delicately on Spencer’s bare arm, Kurt said, “I’d
love to. Really.” He could feel Spencer’s warm skin and the slight roughness of
the hair on his arm. His breath caught again and he carefully pulled his hand
back, trying to act natural.
Spencer smiled at him and seemed content to just beam at him. Kurt blushed
harder and looked down. Coughing slightly to break the silence, he said, “We
should exchange phone numbers so we can plan it. Our date. Together.” The
magnitude of it hit him all over again. He had a date with an actual boy who
apparently liked him. It made his fluttering heart fill his chest with wonder.
Nodding, Spencer dug his phone out of his bag and said, “Hit me.” Kurt rattled
off his number and Spencer entered it and then called Kurt. Once they could
hear his phone chiming from inside his messenger bag, Spencer hung up. “There.
I’ll call you tonight, okay?”
“Perfect.” Kurt smiled and then checked his watch. Seeing that it was now after
four, he said, “Damn, I’m going to be late again. I have to go.”
“No problem. I’ll talk to you tonight, okay?”
Over his shoulder as he hastily left the room, Kurt said, “Sounds great!”
Running down the hallway, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He felt like
dancing and laughing and singing all rolled into one. He skidded into Warbler
practice where everyone turned to look at him. Not caring, he casually told Wes
and David, “Sorry I’m late,” as he took the nearest seat. It wasn’t until the
meeting resumed that he realized his seat just happened to be next to Blaine’s.
Feeling magnanimous, he tried to smile at Blaine, but Blaine was carefully
avoiding eye contact with him. Kurt eventually gave up and just rolled his eyes
and turned his attention to the meeting. If Blaine wanted to continue their
fight, it was his choice. Kurt had better things to do with his time such as
think about what he was going to wear on his date.
He tried to ignore the little ping of hurt that persisted anyway.
===============================================================================
Kurt was on pins and needles all through dinner, enough so that both his father
and Carole noticed. Finn was too busy shoveling food into his face to do
anything but grunt towards Kurt. When his Dad finally asked what was going on,
Kurt was relieved. He blurted out, “I have a date!”
Carole asked, “With Blaine, dear?”
“Why does everyone think I’m dating Blaine?”
His Dad replied, “The kid who was drunk in your bed? Oh, hell no.”
In between bites, Finn added, “Didn’t he kiss Rachel?”
Raising his hands and to stop the flood of comments, Kurt said, “It’s not
Blaine. It’s another Dalton student named Spencer.”
His Dad said, “You’ve never mentioned him before.”
“He’s in my chemistry class. We never really talked until today.”
Carole said, “When is your date?”
“I don’t know yet. He’s going to call tonight.”
“We’ll want to meet this boy and you’ll definitely have a curfew,” his Dad said
while pointing his finger at Kurt. “And remember what we talked about.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “I remember. Don’t worry, I don’t think he expects a
sleepover on the first date.”
Finn perked up at that. “Wait, Kurt can have his boyfriends sleep over? That’s
not fair!”
As his Dad’s eyes widened and he started frantically shaking his head no,
Carole patted Finn’s arm. “Don’t worry, dear. We’re not allowing any boyfriends
to sleep over.”
“Not boyfriends! Girlfriends! I don’t have boyfriends,” Finn stammered while
turning red.
Placating Finn again, Carole then eased the conversation into less fraught
topics, but Kurt could see his Dad giving him looks over the rest of the meal
and knew he wasn’t off the hook yet.
He helped Carole clean up and then went to his room to do his nightly skin
routine and to finish his studying for the day. Putting some Britney Spears on
lightly in the background, he hummed along as he finished his English essay
which he hadn’t gotten to do earlier. When his phone rang a little after eight,
he had been waiting anxiously for at least half an hour.
“Hello?”
“Hi Kurt. It’s Spencer.”
“Hi there. Thanks for calling.”
“It’s totally my pleasure. So have you started our lab report yet?”
“No, I’ve been stuck writing about the use of the forest as a theme in Heart of
Darkness.”
“Sounds just as boring as my English class. Why can’t all classes be music or
lunch?”
“Preach it, sister.”
Spencer laughed and it was a light chuckle and Kurt’s stomach tightened. He lay
back on his bed and beamed at the ceiling. The conversation went from their
classes and homework to music to study by. Then they were off on traveling and
the places they wanted to go. Spencer and Brendon were apparently in a band
together and had dreams of making it big, just like Kurt had his own dreams of
a Broadway career.
After an hour of talking and laughing, he realized he was having fun and really
liked Spencer’s wry sense of humor and easy-going manner. Spencer joked about
their differences, but it wasn’t at the expense of Kurt, rather it acknowledged
the ways they were both oddballs. He had always assumed his first date would be
magical, but he was realizing that he liked Spencer and was excited that it was
Spencer on the date with him and not just some imaginary Johnny Depp look-a-
like. He was even accepting of his first date not being with Blaine like he had
dreamed in more recent months.
After the second time his Dad stopped by his doorway and peered in, Kurt
reluctantly told Spencer that he would have to get off the phone. Spencer said,
“Yeah, I should probably go too. I have a lot of homework still. Does Friday
work for our date?”
“Friday would be perfect. What did you have in mind?”
“The Westerville Theater is having a revival showing of John Water’s Cry Baby,
if that isn’t too juvenile for you. I figured the singing and dancing would be
right up your alley, and I’m always down for some John Waters. Otherwise
there’s always the classic miniature golf option, although it is a little cold
for that.”
Marveling at his date having Johnny Depp in it in some way, Kurt could hear the
smile in his voice as he said, “The movie sounds perfect. And dinner
beforehand?”
“Of course. It’s not a real date without dinner!” They both laughed, and after
working out the rest of the details about who would drive and what time they
would have to meet up, they finally hung up the phone.
Once off the phone, Kurt rolled face-down into his pillow and squealed as
quietly as he could. He had a motherfucking date, praise GaGa. He had thought
he would probably have to wait for college and here he was only a junior in
high school and still in Lima, for goodness’s sake. Squealing again first, he
then rolled over and took a deep breath. Before he could go look for his Dad,
there was a knock on his door and his Dad stuck his head around it.
His Dad said, “Finally off the phone?”
“Yeah. Spencer and I are going to dinner and then a movie.”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“I figured.”
“He’s coming here to pick you up, right? So I get to meet him?”
“Yes, Dad. I’m even making him drive half an hour out of his way just so he can
pick me up.”
“I don’t care if it was an hour out of the way. You’re worth it.”
“Thanks, Dad.” Kurt meant it truly. He didn’t always see eye to eye with his
Dad and he knew his Dad found his sexuality difficult to deal with, but he also
knew his Dad believed in him.
“I was also serious about the curfew. I’m thinking eleven.”
“Dad! The movie starts at nine. That barely gives us time to get back from
Westerville. I was thinking midnight.” Kurt actually thought his Dad imposing a
curfew when he had allowed Kurt to set his own hours up until now was
ridiculous, but he wasn’t going to argue too strenuously yet. It wasn’t like he
expected his first date to turn into an all-night affair. He’d wait until at
least the fifth date if it got that far.
His Dad negotiated. “I’ll settle for eleven-thirty.”
“Fine. But note that I agreed under protest.”
Wryly, his Dad replied, “Duly noted.” After a moment of silence where his Dad
just stared at him, Kurt raised an eyebrow in question. His Dad coughed and
finally said, “I am happy for you, Kurt. I know neither of us expected this so
soon and I don’t think I’m ready for it, but I’ll do my best.”
Standing up, Kurt walked to his Dad and gave him a quick hug. “Thanks. That
means a lot. Now go before you make me cry and ruin my complexion.”
His Dad laughed as he hoped he would and left the room. Kurt sighed and sat
down at his vanity to moisturize and finish cleaning his face. He decided to do
some deep cleansing too. He wanted to look his best for Friday.
===============================================================================
By the time Friday rolled around, Kurt and Spencer had spent quite a bit more
time together. Kurt stopped sitting with Blaine and the Warblers at lunch to
sit with Spencer, Brendon, Gerard and his little brother Mikey on the other
side of the cafeteria. They also talked on the phone every night and exchanged
smiles during chemistry when they could spare a moment away from preventing
their lab partners from blowing up the classroom.
Kurt thought that someone would mention the shift in tables at lunch, but no
one seemed to care, not even Blaine. Kurt shrugged it off to Spencer when he
asked about it, but inside he was a little miffed that the Warblers would so
easily take Blaine’s side. He knew Blaine was their lead and had been a Warbler
for longer, but he had hoped at least someone would miss his presence. And
Blaine was still studiously avoiding him so he guessed he couldn’t expect any
different from that quarter. But without an avoidant Blaine to deal with, Kurt
was actually enjoying his lunch period more. Brendon was a firecracker of jokes
and hyperactivity, while Spencer just smiled and played the straight-man.
The group of them didn’t have much in common, but Kurt never felt left out or
unwelcome. While Kurt was all about musicals and pop, Brendon was about Disney
and classic rock, Gerard and Mikey were into comics and drawing vampires, and
Spencer only cared about alternative music and his X-Box. The other boys were
completely tolerant about Kurt’s interests and expected the same in return,
which was actually the hard part. Kurt had gotten used to being bitchy about
Journey and Call of Duty, so curbing that was a challenge, but he soon learned
to moderate his more hurtful comments. And he found he didn’t miss them because
he didn’t need them as a defense against Spencer, Brendon, Gerard, or Mikey
anyway. It was refreshing.
On Friday, Kurt rushed home so he could change and pay extra attention to his
hair. He had decided on his white jacket with a thin, blue sweater underneath
and some tight trousers that showed off his ass to perfection. He was just
putting on the finishing touches when the doorbell rang. He heard Finn yell,
“I’ll get it!” and he rolled his eyes. He bet all three of them had been
waiting just as anxiously as Kurt had been. Taking the time to check his hair
and clothes one last time, Kurt made his way serenely and slowly down the
stairs and into the living room. He felt it was only fair to give his Dad a
couple seconds to threaten Spencer, but that didn’t mean he wanted to give his
Dad too much time to actually scare Spencer off. Plus waiting a bit gave a
suave and sophisticated appearance.
Spencer was perched on the edge of the couch while his Dad was sitting in his
recliner and Finn and Carole were standing by the TV. Spencer was just saying,
“Eleven thirty should be fine, sir.”
Kurt added, “And we’ll call if we run into any trouble. Now, we have to go if
we’re going to make it to dinner in time for the movie.”
Spencer smiled at him and jumped up from the couch. “You look amazing.”
Feeling his face heat up with a blush, Kurt coughed and looked down, before
checking out what Spencer was wearing. He had on a pair of dark blue trousers
and a white button-down shirt. He looked delicious. Kurt didn’t want to say
that in front of his Dad, though, so he just said, “You too.”
Finn asked, “What movie are you going to see?”
Spencer smiled at Finn and said, “Cry Baby.”
“Isn’t that kind of a chick flick?” Kurt wanted to kick Finn for asking that,
but instead had to settle for his best glare. Finn just looked confused.
Spencer mildly said, “That’s kind of sexist, dude.”
As Finn sputtered and Kurt held in his laugh, Carole chimed in quickly to say,
“Well, I hope you boys have a great time.”
They both nodded at Carole and thankfully made their escape.
Once in the car, Kurt started laughing. Spencer said, “What?”
“The look on Finn’s face when you called him sexist. It was priceless.”
“Gerard is always going on about institutionalized homophobia and misogyny. I
guess it rubbed off on me. Besides, I didn’t want to admit that any movie with
Johnny Depp is fine by me, even if it is a chick flick.”
“Isn’t that the truth.” The grinned at each other and Spencer pulled out of the
driveway. The drive to the restaurant was spent arguing over the music and
bitching about their teachers. Dinner was at a small, intimate Italian place
near the theater in Westerville. Kurt asked how Spencer had found the place and
was shocked at the answer.
Spencer replied, “My ex-girlfriend introduced me to it.”
“You have an ex-girlfriend?” Kurt began mentally cursing sexually-confused
boys.
“Yeah, Haley. We dated for about six months last year.”
“Six months! It took you that long to figure out that you’re gay?”
“No, I’m bi. It took us that long to figure out that we had nothing in common
and that she liked a boy in her math class more.”
Kurt was floored. An honest-to-goodness bisexual? What were the chances? Was it
really too much to ask that a nice, unconfused gay boy would want to date him?
“I don’t mean to be rude, but how do you know you’re bi if you’ve only had a
girlfriend?”
“I haven’t only had a girlfriend. I had a boyfriend before Haley. Ryan. We were
best friends that turned into more. We remained friends afterwards, but he’s
now off in college being straight.” Spencer rolled his eyes.
Kurt now felt awkward. Spencer had apparently been a dating fool for years
while this was only Kurt’s first date. Unsure of what to say, confused now
himself, he settled on, “You really like boys and girls equally?”
Now Spencer looked uncomfortable. “Is that going to be a problem for you?”
Kurt thought seriously about it for a second. He remembered his words to Blaine
earlier about bi boys being bi in name only, and that didn’t seem to fit
Spencer, who seemed confident and secure in who he was. He was beginning to
realize how offensive he had been, even if he had been right about Blaine.
Quickly he said, “No. I’m just a little confused.”
“If it helps, I find mono-sexual people weird too.” Kurt laughed and Spence
grinned and the tension was broken. Not wanting to derail the date, Kurt eased
them into safer territory by asking about Spencer’s interest in John Waters. He
was then subjected to a ten minute monologue about the beauty and subversion of
Cecil B. Demented. Luckily Spencer could laugh at himself and was tolerant of
Kurt mocking him for being a fanboy.
Spencer insisted on paying for both dinner and the movie since he had asked
Kurt out, and Kurt found it charming. It made it feel even more like a date
instead of two friends out for dinner. Spencer hadn’t made any moves towards
Kurt during dinner, but for the walk to the movie he reached down and took
Kurt’s hand in his. He asked, “Is this all right?” Speechless, Kurt could only
nod. He looked down at their joined hands in wonder and was so distracted it
took him stumbling at a curb to bring his attention off the warmth and solidity
of Spencer’s hand.
Spencer didn’t let go until he had to get his wallet and pay for the movie, but
he took hold of Kurt’s hand again once they were in the theater. He said,
“Popcorn? Soda?”
Kurt replied, “Maybe just a bottle of water.”
“Sounds good. Come on, we better hurry. I don’t want to miss a thing.”
Kurt mocked coughed and said, “fanboy,” and Spencer laughed and squeezed his
hand. Kurt could feel the smile on his face breaking free and taking over his
face. He must look like a total dork, but he didn’t care. He was too happy.
After buying water bottles at the concession stand, they made their way to the
theater, which was half-full. Spencer said, “Where do you want to sit?”
“How about here?” Kurt replied, pointing to a row about two thirds of the way
from the front. Spencer nodded and they took their seats just as the lights
dimmed for the show. Once they were seated, Spencer took hold of Kurt’s hand
again and Kurt, feeling brave and welcome, settled his head on Spencer’s
shoulder. Spencer just squeezed his hand in response. Kurt couldn’t believe how
joyful he felt.
The movie was fun and Kurt did enjoy the singing and dancing. He also marveled
at how edgy the movie was. Spencer seemed entranced from the first shot and
totally clapped at the end of the movie. Luckily there were some other John
Waters fanboys in the audience doing the same thing or Kurt would have been
mortified.
They left the theater, talking about Johnny Depp’s performance and how young he
looked, although Kurt was distracted by thoughts of kissing. Was Spencer going
to kiss him tonight? That happened on the first date, right? That wasn’t just
something that happened in the movies, he hoped. They walked back to Spencer’s
car-- a minivan and totally not cool which he explained by saying it was his
mom’s-- Spencer swinging their joined hands between them. As they reached the
car, Spencer came around to the passenger side with Kurt. When Kurt turned
around, Spencer was right there, close and tight against him. His breath
caught. Combing back a strand of Kurt’s hair, Spencer said, “Is this okay?”
Kurt could only nod, a bit frantically.
Spencer leaned in and brushed a soft, almost not there, kiss along the side of
Kurt’s mouth. Kurt’s breath rushed out in a whoosh and Spencer smiled at him
and leaned in for another light press of lips. Reaching up, Kurt cupped
Spencer’s jaw to hold his mouth there and deepen the kiss. Spencer tilted his
head into Kurt’s hand and opened his mouth, sucking Kurt’s bottom lip between
both of his. Kurt’s stomach swooped.
They kissed for about minute, each sensation washing over Kurt in waves. It was
Spencer who finally pulled away completely, accompanied by a little whine from
Kurt. Spencer said, “We have to go if we’re going to make your curfew.”
Kurt wanted to say damn the curfew and pull Spencer back to him, but as the
cold evening air cleared his head, he knew Spencer was right. He didn’t want to
piss off his Dad and only get one date. Spencer unlocked the car door for him
and Kurt got in as Spencer walked to his side of the car. Resting one hand on
his heated cheek, Kurt breathed out deeply. Wow, his first kiss had been
killer. He now knew what all the fuss was about.
Getting into the car, Spencer smiled at him and Kurt dropped his hand to smile
back. They drove home to Lima discussing Ricki Lake and her career, or what
there was of it outside of John Waters’ films, and singing along with the
radio. Spencer could hold a tune, but it was obvious he wasn’t really a singer.
Which surprisingly, in the depths of his heart, Kurt admitted didn’t matter to
him. It wasn’t his singing ability that made Kurt feel special, it was how he
used it, and Spencer had found his own way of expressing his creativity through
his drumming. He could talk about percussion for hours and it was endearing. It
also helped that they would never be in competition with each other, which was
a relief.
===============================================================================
On Saturday Kurt did his chores, studied for his classes, and avoided Carol’s
knowing glances every time he stared too long at his phone. Kurt wasn’t sure of
the etiquette after a first date. Should he call Spencer or would Spencer call
him? There hadn’t been time to discuss it when they reached Kurt’s house the
previous night. The clock had been just ticking over to eleven thirty and
Kurt’s Dad was standing in the front doorway with his arms crossed. Spencer
just squeezed his hand as Kurt jumped from the minivan and they exchanged hasty
goodbyes.
Finally, as the afternoon progressed, Kurt reminded himself that he didn’t have
to act like an icy prom queen and was perfectly justified in calling Spencer.
At least he hoped he was. Closing his door, he sat at his vanity and quickly
found Spencer’s number and dialed before he could lose his nerve. Spencer
answered on the third ring with a smile in his voice. “Hey, Kurt. I’m glad you
called.”
Kurt could feel the silly grin widening on his face and probably causing a
multitude of wrinkles, but he didn’t care. “I just wanted to thank you for last
night and to say that the next date is on me.”
“No thanks necessary. I had a great time. I’m glad to hear you’re up for
another one.” And Kurt could hear how pleased Spencer was, which made him smile
to even more ridiculous extremes. He looked like a maniac in the mirror.
“How does next Friday sound?”
“Saturday would be better. I might have to babysit my sisters on Friday, but I
won’t know until the middle of next week.”
“I didn’t know you had sisters.”
“Twins. They’re in middle school and are holy terrors.” Kurt could hear the
fondness in Spencer’s voice.
“I’m still getting used to Finn. It’s weird suddenly having a sibling.”
“Tell me about it. Some days I long to be an only child again. When did your
Dad marry his Mom?”
“Just a couple months ago. They only dated for about six months beforehand. It
all happened super-fast.”
“Weird. I can’t even imagine. My parents are still together and are
disgustingly in love, so I guess I don’t have to worry about it.”
Thinking of his Mom and Dad and what he remembered of their life together, Kurt
felt a pang of longing, but quickly pushed it down. This wasn’t the time and
Spencer certainly hadn’t meant to bring up any memories for Kurt. Switching
gears, Kurt asked, “Have you worked on Wilson’s lab report yet? I’m stuck
trying to explain how our solution boiled over without sounding like a total
degenerate because Gerard thought it would be cool to add magnesium.”
Laughing, Spencer said, “I worked on it earlier today. I had to explain why our
solution turned red instead of green and I have no idea what happened. Brendon
distracted me, threw some random chemicals into the beaker, and the next thing
I knew, our solution was a deep magenta. So I highlighted our experimental
nature and willingness to explore unknown territory. Wilson never buys it, but
I keep trying.”
“Glad to hear I’m not the only one struggling to explain our non-scientific
method. Are you sure we can’t hook Gerard and Brendon up as lab partners?”
“I’m not sure the better chemistry grade would be worth the destruction of the
entire science wing.”
“Spoilsport.”
Spencer laughed again. “Only on my bad days; the rest of the time I’m up for
anything.” They both chuckled at that, and then Spencer hummed thoughtfully.
“So, do you mind if I ask you a question?”
Kurt could hear the nervousness in Spencer’s voice and he wondered what he
could possibly ask that would bring that tone into his voice. Hesitantly, he
said, “Sure.”
“So what happened between you and Blaine Anderson?”
Now it was Kurt’s turn to hum thoughtfully. He wasn’t sure how honest he wanted
to be. There were his muddled feelings for Blaine as well as his comments about
bisexuality, both of which could make Spencer change his mind about Kurt. On
the other hand, if he started lying about things now, what kind of relationship
could they have? Playing it safe as he thought frantically through his options,
he returned with, “Why do you ask?”
“I know you said there was nothing between you two, but I can’t help but
wonder. You seemed awfully close. I guess I just want to understand my
competition.”
Hearing the uncertainty in Spencer’s voice and understanding how much courage
it took to voice his fears like that, Kurt couldn’t hide anything. “First of
all, he isn’t your competition. Nobody has been beating down the door to date
me.” Rolling his eyes at himself, Kurt let Spencer’s scoff of disbelieve wash
over him. It was nice to hear. It gave him the courage to say, “We had a fight
about him kissing a friend of mine. A girl friend of mine. He claimed he could
be bi and I got mad and said some things I now regret. I guess I forgot that
he’s just as confused as us and not this big gay icon that he was in my head.”
“Sounds like you liked him. Looked up to him.”
Kurt could tell Spencer meant liked romantically. He took a second to think
about what he wanted to say. “I did, but he was clear on Valentine’s Day that
he didn’t feel the same way about me. I may be a romantic fool, but even I can
accept it when someone doesn’t feel the same way about me.” Kurt had learned
that the hard way with Finn.
Questioningly, Spencer said, “Sounds like there’s a story there.”
“One you wouldn’t believe so I’m not going to tell you. Suffice it to say, I
learned my lesson.”
“So you liked him but he didn’t like you back.”
“Yeah, I guess. But, I’m not pining after him or using you or anything like
that. I really like you and I had a great time on our date.”
Biting his lip, Kurt waited for Spencer’s response breathlessly. Finally
Spencer said, “Good. Because I really like you too.”
Feeling braver, Kurt asked, “Mind if I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“What happened between you and Ryan? Last night you joked it off, but I got the
feeling there was something more.”
Now it was Spencer’s time to take a minute. Kurt waited patiently. “He was my
first love. I thought we would be forever, but he was just experimenting. He
kind of broke my heart.”
Kurt cursed himself for bringing it up. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay now. In some ways it puts us on even footing.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I had Ryan and you had Blaine, but now we’re together. Hopefully wiser
and smarter.”
“That’s a good way of looking at it. And I just want to say, I am happy to be
with you, just so you know.”
“Thanks. That goes my way too.”
They talked about less fraught topics after that. Kurt didn’t actually end up
getting off the phone until dinner time. He had to rush to set the table for
Carol and his Dad gave him a searching look which he blushed under. His Dad
tightened his lips, but luckily didn’t pry. Considering all the time Finn spent
on the phone, it probably didn’t make sense to grill him. He could always
deflect with Finn.
As he was lying in bed that night, he thought about Spencer’s perception of
Blaine’s role in Kurt’s life. He used to find it endearing that everyone
thought they were dating, but now he just felt foolish. On the other hand, he
didn’t like being angry with Blaine. He missed him. He almost wanted to call
Spencer up to get his view on what Kurt should do, but he wondered about the
protocol of doing that. He didn’t want to make Spencer think he was trying to
hook up with Blaine. He just missed his friend.
Deciding he wouldn’t be able to solve it tonight, he did resolve to address it
tomorrow.
===============================================================================
Spencer called Kurt the next day and Kurt did ask his advice on what to do
about Blaine. Spencer admitted he was happy to still talk to Ryan, so he
encouraged Kurt to make overtures. Kurt felt so much affection for Spencer at
that since Spencer was obviously putting Kurt’s feeling first and his own
insecurities second. Kurt thanked him so profusely that Spencer laughed and
teased him. It gave Kurt the gumption to text Blaine and to ask him to meet him
at the Lima Bean.
Kurt waited anxiously until he got the text back fifteen minutes later. A
simple “Okay,” but it still made Kurt’s heart trip.
Next he had to find the perfect outfit; to look apologetic but still fabulous
at the same time. Settling on a dark pair of jeans and his white sweater, Kurt
nodded firmly in the mirror.
By the time he made it out the door and to the Lima Bean, Blaine was already at
a table with two coffees in front of him. Kurt stared at the back of his head
and took a deep breath. He could do this; apologize and get his friend back.
Making his way through the tables, he came abreast of Blaine and said, “Hey.”
Blaine looked up with a small smile and said, “Hey. I bought your coffee, if
that’s all right?”
“It’s great. Thanks.” Kurt arranged his jacket on the back of his chair and
then settled into his seat. Pulling his coffee towards his side of the table,
he took a deep breath. He looked into Blaine’s eyes and said, “I’m sorry. I was
rude and uncouth.”
With a small smile, Blaine reached a hand across the table, but stopped short
of touching Kurt’s. “No, I’m sorry. I never should have compared you to
Karofsky. And you were totally right about me. I was just grasping at straws
and then I was too embarrassed to talk to you.”
Kurt closed the distance between their hands and squeezed Blaine’s tightly. “I
still should have supported you.”
“Can we just let bygones be bygones and go back to the way we were?”
With a slight grin, Kurt rebutted, “Maybe we can be better than we were.”
Blaine laughed and turned his hand upside down and squeezed Kurt’s hand back
and then let it go to grip his coffee cup. “That sounds perfect. Maybe you’ll
eat lunch with us again? I’ve missed you.”
Biting his lip, Kurt tried to keep his happiness to a muted level, but he felt
his own grin break wide open as he said, “Maybe some days, but probably not
every day. I’d miss Spencer.”
With a hesitant smile, Blaine asked, “Spencer?”
“Spencer Smith. He asked me out.” Kurt could feel his cheeks heat up and he
glanced down at his coffee and smiled at it. He remembered their kiss and how
sweet it had felt. Peeking at Blaine, Kurt blurted out, “Can I talk to you
about it?”
“Of course.” Blaine had an understanding look on his face. “Maybe if I had
talked to you about Jeremiah, things would have turned out differently there.”
Kurt said, “Jeremiah was a jerk with bad hair.” Blaine snorted and Kurt
continued, “But yes, you should have talked to me about him. How can we be best
friends if we don’t talk?”
“We’ll do better.”
“Darn right.” They grinned at each other and Kurt felt the happiness burst in
his chest. It felt so good to have Blaine back in his life.
Leadingly, Blaine said, “Now about Spencer.”
“Oh my god, yes, let’s talk about Spencer.” And then unable to keep it to
himself any longer, Kurt leaned forward and whispered, “He kissed me!”
A startled look flittered across Blaine’s face, but before Kurt could ask about
it, it settled into concern. “And was it good? You wanted him to?”
“It was amazing. We went to dinner and to see a movie at the Westerville
Theater and then he walked me to his car and just kissed me. I thought I would
have to wait for college before this happened, but here he is.”
“You sound like you like him a lot.” Blaine stared intently at his coffee and
stirred it with concentration.
Kurt was glad not to have Blaine analyzing him too closely. It gave him the
courage to say, “I do. We’ve been talking all this week. He’s laid back and
funny, but he’s had both a boyfriend and a girlfriend so I feel a bit out of my
depth.”
“He isn’t forcing you to go too fast, is he?”
“No, no. He’s been a perfect gentleman. I just feel so inexperienced next to
him. It’s all new to me.”
Fiercely, Blaine countered with, “And he should respect that.”
Kurt patted Blaine’s hand. “He does. He really isn’t pressuring me at all. All
the pressure I feel is in my head.”
Nodding, Blaine looked thoughtful for a second. “I get that, but Kurt, you
should give yourself a chance to enjoy every stage of the relationship. You
only get to experience it for the first time once.”
Blaine was staring intently at him and all Kurt could do was nod and smile
watery. “Thank you. I’m glad I have you to talk to again.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you from the beginning.”
“You’re here now. That’s all that matters. Besides I probably wouldn’t have
Spencer if not for our fight.”
Blaine raised his eyebrows and Kurt started telling him about how he and
Spencer had met. The rest of the day passed quickly as they laughed and
exchanged stories. It was a great afternoon.
===============================================================================
On Monday Kurt was a little nervous as he parked at Dalton. He and Spencer had
not discussed how they would act at school so Kurt didn’t know if he could walk
up to Spencer and hold his hand or what. He wanted to and he didn’t know if he
could stay with Spencer if he wanted to keep them hidden. Kurt had worked too
hard to get out of the closet. He didn’t want to be pushed back in by someone
else’s insecurities. Even though that didn’t seem to describe Spencer, he
didn’t really know for sure.
As it turned out he shouldn’t have wasted his time worrying. Spencer was
waiting by the front entrance and when he saw Kurt a brilliant smile bloomed on
his face. When Kurt came abreast of him, he reached for Kurt’s hand and leaned
forward to kiss him on the cheek. “Hey you.”
Kurt could feel a blush spread across his cheeks, but he was smiling too hard
to care. Checking, Kurt glanced around at the other students milling about and
he couldn’t quite believe how they were just ignoring him and Spencer. He felt
free to be himself in a way that he never thought would happen in high school.
Still, he only said, “Hay is for horses.”
Spencer laughed quietly. “Sorry. It’s hard to be articulate this early.”
Feeing daring, Kurt pressed his own kiss to Spencer’s cheek. “I’ll let it go
this once.”
They still had a couple minutes before the first warning bell chimed, so they
moved to the side of the entrance so they didn’t block the doorway anymore and
Kurt told Spencer about his meeting with Blaine. Spencer squeezed his hand when
he said they had made up and smiled warmly at him. Kurt liked it that Spencer
could be happy for him.
Right before the bell rang Blaine came sauntering up holding a tray with three
coffees in it. Kurt waved and Blaine came over. “I thought I might find you
guys here. I got coffee for all of us.” He gave one coffee to Kurt and as he
handed the second one to Spencer he said, “Sorry, but I don’t know your coffee
order so I just got you a mocha. Everyone loves chocolate.”
Spencer said, “That’s perfect. That’s what I usually get anyway.”
“My name’s Blaine, by the way. I don’t think we’ve ever talked.”
He gave Spencer a little wave and Spencer toggled the coffee cup back at him
since he didn’t even attempt to let go of Kurt’s hand, which made Kurt
ridiculously happy. “Spencer Smith. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Same here. Kurt says he’ll miss you if he eats lunch at The Warbler table
again, so consider yourself invited to join us as well. We miss Kurt.” Kurt
couldn’t tell if Blaine meant that he missed him or if everybody missed him. He
found that he cared. He wanted to feel like a part of The Warblers again.
Spencer just smiled and nodded since the bell went off just then. They trooped
into the building and split up since they each had a different class. Blaine
left first with a little wave and another invitation to lunch and then Spencer
squeezed Kurt’s hand and leaned his forehead down onto Kurt’s. “I’ll see you in
chemistry.”
“Definitely.” Kurt tilted his head to brush his lips against Spencer’s mouth in
the briefest caress. Spencer exhaled sharply but pulled back. His eyes were
darkening and he licked his lip where Kurt’s had been moments before. Kurt was
entranced as Spencer stared back until the final bell went off and they both
startled. With one last grin Spencer walked backwards to go to the staircase,
holding onto Kurt’s hand until the last possible moment. Then he was running up
the stairs late for his class. Luckily Kurt’s class was right off the
entranceway so he ducked in right before his teacher closed the door.
The morning passed in a blur for Kurt. He took notes and answered teachers, but
the only vivid memories he retained were of touching fingertips with Spencer
between classes in the hallways and then exchanging notes in chemistry class.
When lunch time rolled around, Kurt was more than ready to spend time with
Spencer. He automatically went to the table with Brendon, Gerard, and Mikey as
Spencer was still in line at the cashier. Blaine waved to him from the Warbler
stable, but Kurt shook his head with a soft smile, causing Blaine to pout
dramatically at him, but he didn’t otherwise demand that Kurt sit with them.
Spencer joined them, and as he sat down, said, “I thought we were sitting with
The Warblers?”
Brendon asked, “Getting too popular for us? I see how it is.” He pouted at
Spencer, but Kurt felt there might be some hidden worry behind Brendon’s tone.
Mikey and Gerard looked between them like a tennis match, but otherwise
remained silent.
Soothingly Kurt said, “We might sit there occasionally, but I like you guys too
much to abandon you for them all the time.” And it was true. Sitting with these
guys was the first time at Dalton that Kurt had really felt he belonged with a
clique. The Warblers were friendly, but they were such a large ensemble that it
had been hard to make individual friends outside of Blaine.
Spencer beamed at him and squeezed his thigh briefly. Kurt’s breath caught at
the contact, so much so that he missed what Brendon said in response. Luckily
Spencer answered Brendon and they were off in one of their sarcastic mock-
arguments and Kurt had time to get his equilibrium back.
Kurt and Spencer agreed to meet up after school; they didn’t really cross paths
in the afternoon. Kurt took the opportunity to spend time with Blaine and to
try and reestablish that friendship. Blaine seemed to be on the same page and
also took every opportunity to commiserate with Kurt or even just to sit next
to him in study hall again.
By the time the final bell rung, Kurt was on cloud nine and smiling like a
fool. Between Spencer and Blaine and the time he spent with both of them, the
day had been fantastic. Blaine said good-bye after the last class with a half-
hug and an understanding smile. Kurt turned it into a full hug and Blaine
huffed a laugh into his shoulder. Kurt said, “I’m so glad we’re friends again.
I missed you.”
“I missed you too. I promise not to be such a jerk again.”
“I think we can both promise that.”
Blaine said, “Done,” as he pulled out of the hug with a big smile. “I have to
get to my Rotary Interact meeting. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Waving good-bye, Kurt walked to his car to wait for Spencer. Spencer came
jogging up a couple minutes later. With another kiss to Kurt’s cheek, Spencer
said, “Sorry I’m late. My English teacher would not stop talking.”
Kurt took hold of Spencer’s hand and swung their arms casually. “Not a problem.
I was saying good-bye to Blaine.”
“So it looks like you guys are back on the same page?”
“Thanks to you.”
“Hey, you did all the work, I just offered advice.” Still, Spencer looked happy
at the compliment and Kurt knew he had done well. Spencer continued with, “So
I’m free this afternoon if you are.”
“Since I only have Warbler practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I’m totally
free. What did you have in mind?”
“I was hoping we could just hang out, listen to music, and maybe get a cup of
coffee. Also since you’re free on Wednesday, that’s when Brendon and I have
band practice, if you want to come. We use my grandmother’s house here in
town.”
Spencer looked nervous and Kurt couldn’t figure out whether Spencer wanted him
at his band practice or not. Kurt said, “I don’t want to be an intrusion.”
“You wouldn’t be.”
Kurt still wasn’t sure what Spencer really wanted, but nodded his agreement
anyway. “I’d like that.”
Spencer smiled and said, “So, coffee?”
“Coffee.”
Spencer followed Kurt to the Lima Bean where they picked up some coffees and
biscotti and then went back to Kurt’s house. No one was home. His Dad and
Carole were still at work and Finn was probably over at Quinn’s house, where he
tended to be most afternoons these days. They trooped up to Kurt’s room where
Kurt said, “Sit anywhere. I’ll now show you the brilliance of Wicked.”
Spencer made a grimace, but Kurt could tell it was all for show. “Show tunes,
really?”
“Shut up. You’ll love it.”
Laughing, Spencer settled at the head of the bed with his feet hanging off the
side and twisted the top off of his coffee. Taking a sip, he asked, “So what’s
so special about Wicked?”
“The music is brilliant and transcendent. I hear new things every time I listen
to it. Plus Elphaba is brilliantly misunderstood and tragic. It’s easy to
relate to her as a teenager. Now be quiet and listen.” Kurt put his iPod into
its docking station so the speakers would pick up on the playlist. He sat on
the bed next to Spencer, scooting close, but not quite close enough to touch.
He closed his eyes and let the opening bars wash over him.
Without talking too much, they listened to the album straight through,
finishing their coffees and eventually removing their shoes and lying down on
the bed next to each other. When the music came to an end, the silence was
pronounced. Kurt turned to talk to Spencer and found Spencer already looking at
him. Spencer’s lips twitched into a soft smile, but he didn’t say anything.
Kurt had been about to ask if Spencer had liked it, but at the look in
Spencer’s eyes he remained quiet and just stared back, wondering what was going
through Spencer’s mind. He’d never had such a poignant moment with someone
before and it made his heart beat quicker but also made him nervous. Spencer
reached over and brushed some strands of hair out of Kurt’s eyes. “Can I kiss
you?”
His voice coming out unusually husky, Kurt said, “I’d like that.”
Spencer rolled to his side, folding his legs up so that his hips pushed back,
and Kurt followed so that they were facing each other from inches apart but
weren’t flush against each other. Kurt was glad for the distance. He didn’t
know if he was ready to feel Spencer’s dick just yet.
Placing his hand lightly on Kurt’s cheek, Spencer leaned forward and began
placing butterfly kisses on Kurt’s face. Soon his kissing became more focused
and the press of his lips became longer. Kurt kissed back ardently, but was
also slightly overwhelmed by the feelings coursing through him.
When Spencer’s tongue slipped into his mouth, they both moaned. The kissing
became wetter and deeper then, both of them getting lost in the moment. Kurt
didn’t know what would have happened, if they would have gone too far, if his
Dad hadn’t interrupted them. Pushing the door open hard, causing it to thump
against the wall, his Dad said, “Kurt-.” Spencer and Kurt jumped apart
guiltily, Spencer’s hand getting caught up in Kurt’s shirt where it had been
tracing lazy patterns around the buttons, undoing some of them to reach Kurt’s
bare chest.
Burt turned to look at the wall as Kurt redid his buttons and Spencer rolled to
his feet to nervously shift from foot to foot besides the bed. His Dad said, “I
think it’s time for Spencer to go home, Kurt. I’ll see you boys downstairs. You
have two minutes.” Carefully pushing the door wide open, his Dad then left and
they heard his clopping footsteps go down the stairs.
Spencer said, “Oh, man, I am so sorry. I can’t believe we lost track of time
like that. Is he mad?” He was fruitlessly trying to smooth his hair out and
kneeling to put on his shoes as he talked, but he still met Kurt’s eyes with a
sorry look.
Kurt quickly got off the bed and checked the mirror to see his own tousled
reflection. Grimacing, he brushed his hair out as he replied. “I’m sure it’s
fine. We weren’t doing anything, really.” He kept silent about his queasy
stomach and churning emotions.
Once they were both presentable, Spencer pressed a quick kiss to his mouth and
grabbed his hand as Kurt led them downstairs. Kurt walked Spencer to the door
and they said goodbye under the watchful eye of his Dad. Once Spencer was gone,
Kurt crossed his arms and walked as bravely as he could into the living room
where his Dad was waiting.
“I don’t want Spencer over when no one else is home.”
“Dad! We were just kissing!”
“And kissing leads to more. I’m serious, Kurt.” Kurt could tell by the way his
Dad was clenching his jaw that he wouldn’t be swayed by logic.
Too mad to face his Dad right now, Kurt stomped his way up the stairs but
didn’t slam his door closed. That would be childish.
===============================================================================
Kurt had fun at Warbler practice on Tuesday, but he was distracted, which
Blaine called him on once practice was over. Not wanting to go into what had
happened at his house yesterday, Kurt explained to him that he had been invited
to watch Brendon and Spencer practice for their band but he didn’t really know
what was expected of him.
With a goofy grin, Blaine said, “I think they just expect you to clap and be
supportive. A groupie, so to speak.”
Kurt hit Blaine in the arm. “I’m not a groupie!”
Laughing Blaine help up his hands in the universal gesture for surrender. Kurt
knew he didn’t really mean it. He was laughing too hard. Crossing his arms,
Kurt pouted at Blaine.
Once he calmed down and stopped laughing, Blaine said, “Seriously. I expect
Spencer just wants to share something that’s important to him with you. I think
it’s sweet.”
“But what if they suck? I don’t know if I can lie to Spencer.”
“I’m sure they’ll be great. You said you heard Spencer drumming. Did he suck
then?”
Thinking back to that day, Kurt thoughtfully said, “No, he didn’t. He was
actually really good.”
Leading Kurt out of the Warbler practice room by throwing his arm over Kurt’s
shoulders, Blaine said, “See? It’ll be fine. Now come with me to get coffee and
I’ll let you fret some more.”
Kurt jabbed Blaine in the ribs with his elbow, but followed along easily
enough. Coffee with Blaine had been one of his favorite things and harkened
back to before they were fighting. It was great feeling like he had his best
guy friend back again.
As the rest of the afternoon and evening progressed, Kurt pondered his life at
Dalton. It seemed so much fuller now that he had Spencer, Blaine and even
Brendon, Gerard, and Mikey. He still missed New Directions but it wasn’t as
sharp as it had been back in the winter-time.
When Wednesday rolled around, he looked around Dalton with fresh eyes, and felt
his heart swell with happiness. The Warblers said hello to him between classes,
Spencer always smiled widely at him and twined their hands together; Blaine
threw his arm over Kurt’s shoulder with ease and familiarity. And all of this
happened without anyone getting a slushie in the face or getting slammed into
lockers. He did miss his girls a lot and all the drama inherent in New
Directions, but he consoled himself that he could always connect with them on
weekends. Making a vow to call Mercedes that evening, Kurt smiled at Spencer
and walked with him to lunch.
That afternoon he followed Spencer to his band practice. They were the first
ones there and Spencer took the time to make sure his drum kit was perfect.
Kurt looked around the room, noticing the guitars to the right and then the
keyboard set-up in the middle of the room. There was the usual living room
furniture, but it was all pushed to the side and crowded into the corners. The
couch was also a hideous paisley, but since Kurt knew this was Spencer’s
grandmother’s house, he refrained from mentioning that. Thinking of the drum
kit at Dalton, Kurt asked, “Do you have two drum kits?”
“Yeah. It makes it easier than setting up and breaking down all the time. I
worked last summer in a doctor’s office to pay for half of a new kit and my
parents kicked in the other half as an early Christmas present.”
“Wow. You and Brendon are serious about this.”
“Dead serious. We had a setback when Ryan left for college early and then
decided that his college friends were more his style, but we found Dallon and
Ian and they seem to be working out pretty well.”
Feeling a little off-balance emotionally but not sure what it meant, Kurt
cautiously asked, “Ryan was in your band?”
Spencer sat down on the seat behind his drum kit holding his sticks and finally
looked at Kurt. “Actually it was originally mine and Ryan’s band. He sang and
played guitar while I played drums. Then Brendon came along and you have got to
hear him, seriously. He can sing your pants off. I think that was the beginning
of the end for Ryan. He didn’t want Brendon usurping his place.” Spencer tapped
one of his drums for punctuation.
Kurt asked, “Was this when, you know?”
“Yeah. Everything imploded at the same time. My relationship with Ryan, our
band, even school. It all sucked for longer than I want to admit.”
Moving so that he could touch Spencer’s shoulder, Kurt said, “Sorry.”
“It’s all right. Things are better now, really.” Spencer tapped one of his
sticks against Kurt’s knee and Kurt understood that Spencer was including him
in the things that were better. He smiled at Spencer and then leaned down to
press a kiss to his mouth.
There was a clattering at the door, but Spencer didn’t let Kurt pull away.
Instead he deepened the kiss a little bit and put one hand at the back of
Kurt’s head. Wondering if Spencer was making a point or if he just didn’t care,
Kurt kissed back.
From the entryway to the living room, Kurt heard Brendon say, “When we’re rich
and famous, I’m going to get all the tail in the world. Just you wait and see.”
Spencer broke the kiss with a sputtering laugh. He pointed a drum stick at
Brendon and said, “You might get some action now if you didn’t keep referring
to girls as tail.”
When Kurt looked over, Brendon was pouting dramatically at another boy who was
rolling his eyes and holding a guitar case. Spencer stood up and led Kurt over
to the other boys.
He said, “Kurt, this is Ian. He’s in Mikey’s year and is our guitar player.”
They shook hands and Ian grinned at Kurt. Amazed at how much of a non-issue
their kissing was, Kurt smiled back and leaned into Spencer’s side, relieved.
Before conversation could resume, another boy showed up with a guitar case and
there was a flurry of activity and introductions. Kurt recognized the new boy
as Dallon from his English class and they talked about their Heart of Darkness
essays for a second before Brendon was corralling everyone into place to
practice. Spencer kissed Kurt one last time and Kurt went to sit on the
dreadful couch, curious.
To say Kurt was blown away would be an understatement. Brendon, the
hyperactive, dorky guy transformed into a total rock star when he sang, and wow
could he sing. He had more stage presence than a simple living room should hold
and more than Rachel and Finn combined, not that Brendon would ever say that
aloud. Spencer was less of a revelation since Kurt had seen and heard him
before, but watching him get totally into his drumming and make orgasmic faces
really turned Kurt on.
At the end of the first song Kurt could do nothing but clap furiously. Brendon
made a showy bow and Spencer grinned wildly at him. Spencer tapped his sticks
together to count them into another song and Kurt settled back to be astounded
again. He wasn’t disappointed.
After the fifth song the band fell into chatter about a tricky bridge and Kurt
kept mum even though he had opinions. He knew how much it annoyed him when
people critiqued the Glee Club and he imagined it would be the same for a band.
Besides, over Christmas break Finn had sat him down and made him watch a
Metallica documentary saying it would help him shine in collaborative creative
processes. Since Finn wasn’t known for polysyllabic words, Kurt paid attention.
Even he could see the value in not being the outsider passing notes to an
irritated band.
Soon it didn’t matter because the boys got distracted and a Playstation was
dragged out from behind the couch and hooked up to the TV. Brendon, Dallon ,
and Ian commenced fighting over the two controllers, but Spencer came over to
where Kurt was sitting and snuggled up next to him. “So what did you think?”
Kurt could see the nervousness in Spencer’s eyes, so he put his hand on
Spencer’s knee and squeezed. “You guys were amazing. You were flawless, of
course, but I also had no idea Brendon could sing like that. Why isn’t he a
Warbler?”
“Warbler practice conflicts with Marching Band. We’re both on the drum line.”
“Brendon drums too?” Kurt glanced over at the TV and watched Brendon for a
second. He was laughing loudly and pushing Dallon, trying to get a controller.
He was again just a regular boy and not a rockstar.
“Brendon plays just about everything. He’s a genius, no lie.”
Kurt said, “Huh,” but then got distracted by Spencer playing with his fingers
where his hand still rested on Spencer’s knee. He peeked at Spencer from
underneath his eyelashes and found Spencer smiling fondly at him. Biting his
lip, he glanced at where the other boys were engrossed in their game, and then
leaned forward to press a kiss to Spencer’s lips.
Making a small sound of pleasure, Spencer tugged on Kurt’s hand, bringing Kurt
closer. They kissed for a couple minutes, but before things could get heavy,
Brendon was plopping down next to Spencer and saying, “Enough of that! If I’m
not getting any, neither should you.”
Kurt felt Spencer smile against his lips, but neither of them pulled back until
Brendon was squeezing his way in between them. Then they broke apart with a
laugh and Spencer started tickling Brendon. Kurt just watched them. He was a
little envious of Spencer and how accepting his friends were. Kurt knew Spencer
was trying to make them Kurt’s friends too, but he couldn’t help thinking of
New Directions first and how they would probably not be as cool with him
kissing another boy in front of them, particularly the guys.
Brendon and Spencer broke apart and they corralled the other boys back into
practice. Kurt settled back and watched indulgently, if a little wistfully.
===============================================================================
By the time Friday night rolled around, Kurt was still riding high. Spencer did
have to babysit his sisters, so Kurt made plans to sleep over Mercedes’ house.
He was looking forward to it a lot. It had been way to long since he had spent
time with his girl and he had a lot to gossip about.
What also made the night special was that it was just him and his Dad for
dinner. Carol had to work the late shift and Finn was going out with Quinn.
Kurt would never admit it out loud, but he missed spending time with just his
Dad. He loved his new family, but there was a closeness to two that was hard to
get back with four people rattling around the house.
Kurt hummed as he checked the baking chicken and was glad to see it was golden
brown. As he used the thermometer to make sure it was fully cooked, he heard
the front door open. Pleased at his Dad’s timing, Kurt yelled hello. His Dad
came into the kitchen and replied, “Hello to you to, kiddo.”
“Dinner is almost ready. The chicken just needs to cool for a bit before I
slice it. You can take a shower while we wait.”
His Dad snuck a tomato out of the salad, quickly jerking his hand away from the
salad when Kurt swatted him with a spatula. Laughing, his Dad left for his
bedroom and Kurt smiled to see him so relaxed and happy.
They ate dinner and talked about his Dad’s shop as well as the craziness of
Finn’s love life. Considering that topic, Kurt should have expected it when
their discussion turned to his love life, but he was still taken off guard when
his Dad asked, “How are things with Spencer?”
Warily watching his Dad, Kurt slowly said, “They’re good.”
“Good, good.” Nervously his Dad played with his cutlery, finally putting his
knife and fork aside and reaching for some papers on the sideboard. He
continued, “Considering Spencer and his place in your life, I think it is past
time for us to have The Talk.”
Horrified, all Kurt could say was, “No, it’s not.”
His Dad slapped what Kurt could finally tell were gay-related pamphlets on the
table. He began shaking his head and clamped his hands over his ears. He didn’t
care if he was being childish as long as he didn’t have to hear his Dad say the
word cock or anything else equally mortifying. His Dad tugged one hand away
from Kurt’s head and asked rhetorically, “You think I want to do this? You
think this is easy for me? I can’t think of anything worse, but we will get
through it together and we will both be better men for it.”
Kurt and his Dad struggled for a second before Kurt gave up in acknowledgement
of his Dad’s superior strength. He still wasn’t falling for his Dad’s argument
though. His Dad continued, “These are pamphlets I picked up at the free clinic.
They detail the mechanics of what you will be doing. I want you to read them
and then I want you to come talk to me about it.”
“Okay.” Kurt went to stand up, but his Dad clamped a hand on his shoulder and
pushed him back down. He then had to sit through a mortifying talk about the
emotional impact of sex. Most of it didn’t seem to apply to Spencer and him; it
was about getting caught up in the physical and wanting to do it because it was
fun, not because it was a way to connect to the other person, but Kurt was too
embarrassed to ask any questions. The physical intimacy between Spencer and him
seemed to grow organically along with the emotional and Kurt never felt
pressured. But he also felt that was the danger. Things could happen that
seemed perfect in the moment, but that he might regret later. It hadn’t
happened yet, but Kurt was a worrier.
He wanted to tell his Dad that Spencer did love and cherish him, that he didn’t
have to worry so much, but the words wouldn’t come. Not to say to his Dad of
all people. That felt like revealing too much of the intimate moments of
Spencer and his relationship.
When his Dad finally let him leave, Kurt raced over to Mercedes’ house. She
could see something was up right away and he spilled immediately. She talked
him down and made him laugh about it and it was one of the best nights they had
had in a while.
===============================================================================
Still reeling from his Dad’s talk and those damned pamphlets, despite the wise
words of Mercedes, Kurt was nervous when he called Spencer Saturday morning. Of
course Spencer noticed immediately and needled Kurt until the whole sorry tale
came pouring out of him. With laughter in his voice, Spencer said, “It sounds
better than my talk with my Dad. He actually did the roll a condom on a banana
thing for Ryan and me. I thought I was going to die.”
“Your Dad gave both you and Ryan The Talk?” Kurt tried to ask casually, but
feared he came off as jealous as he actually was. He still wondered about the
role Ryan had played in Spencer’s life and in his darker moments, he couldn’t
help but feel like Spencer was just biding his time with Kurt until Ryan came
to his senses and came back for Spencer.
“Yeah, he did. Ryan’s Dad isn’t the best.”
“Oh. That sucks.”
“Yeah. Ryan is like a son to my parents. We did everything together growing
up.”
“Including being boyfriends.”
Laughing indulgently, Spencer said, “Well, we weren’t boyfriends when we were
five and six, but I don’t think my parents were surprised when we started
dating.”
“Were they surprised when you broke up?” As soon as the word’s left Kurt’s
mouth he realized how intrusive he was being and he quickly said, “You don’t
have to answer that. I didn’t mean to be rude.”
“No, it’s all right. I don’t have any secrets from you. They were surprised and
unhappy, but as I’ve mentioned I’m happier now, and Ryan and I can talk without
fighting, so it’s all good. Speaking of my parents, they’d like to meet you.”
Kurt was so surprised his voice squeaked when he asked, “They would?” He had
kind of forgotten that Spencer had a home life and that he would talk to his
parents about Kurt. Kurt valued being open, but he wasn’t used to his fellow
teenagers being the same way.
“Of course they would. My Mom says I gush about you, but she’s a big fat liar.
I am a model of manly restraint.”
“I’m sure.” Smiling and chuckling slightly, Kurt said, “Well, I’d be happy to
meet them, of course.” He actually was scared shirtless, but he figured it was
the proper thing to say.
“I know we agreed you could plan our date for tonight, but maybe you could come
for dinner at my house instead? And then we could hang out listening to music
or watching a DVD or something.”
Kurt looked out the window at the driving rain and thought about all of his
elaborate date plans that involved walking in the park and picnicking. He had
already been left reconsidering his plans and substituting a trip to the mall,
which wasn’t date-like at all. Deciding, he replied, “That sounds like fun.”
“Great! I can’t wait to see you.” Spencer sounded happy and eager and Kurt’s
chest bloomed with warmth. He thought back to Spencer saying they both had
baggage and that was why they worked and he wanted fiercely to agree with him,
despite his doubts. Spencer was worth overcoming them.
Firmly, but softly he said, “Me too.”
Once his Dad heard that Spencer’s parents would be there, he was happy to let
Kurt go out that evening, still with a curfew though. Kurt huffed and sighed,
but he wasn’t really expecting to get his Dad to relax his rules, especially
after their talk. His Dad also started making noises about having Spencer over
for dinner and it was then that Kurt ran away to his room to hide until it was
time to leave.
Driving to Spencer’s house, watching the rain fizzle out, listening to the GPS
give the directions, Kurt took a lot of deep, calming breaths. This was such a
new and unexpected situation. Although he had imagined having a boyfriend a
lot, he had never imagined meeting the in-laws, so to speak.
When he got to Spencer’s house, he might have stayed in the car for an
embarrassing long time, except that Spencer must have been watching out the
window because he came bouncing out as soon as Kurt pulled up. Seeing the happy
look on Spencer’s face, some of Kurt’s fears subsided. It couldn’t be that bad
if Spencer was so happy about it.
Kurt got out of his Explorer and jumped into Spencer’s waiting arms. Laughing,
Spencer hugged Kurt tightly. Kurt said, “I missed you and I’m not afraid to
tell you how nervous I am.”
“They‘re going to love you.”
Kurt sniffed and then straightened his shoulders. “Of course they are.” He
reached into his car and took hold of the flowers he had brought for Mrs.
Smith. Spencer laughed again when he saw them and whispered “Suck up.”
Tempted to hit Spencer with the flowers, Kurt instead lifted his chin and
raised one ironic eyebrow. Spencer simply grinned and took his hand to lead him
inside.
Kurt took another calming breath.
Spencer’s parents were waiting inside and as he was introduced, Kurt catalogued
their reactions. Jeff was a jovial man with an easy-going air and a warm smile
like Spencer’s. Ginger was sweet and inviting and gushed over the flowers. She
even hit Spencer with an oven mitt when he made a joke about them. She said,
“They’re lovely, thank you so much, dear. They’ll look perfect as the
centerpiece for dinner. And don’t listen to my uncouth son. He thinks the
pinnacle of gentility is jazz drumming.”
Kurt laughed and blushed at the same time, but he didn’t feel too exposed since
Spencer was blushing too as he exclaimed, “Mom!”
Dinner was a bit raucous since Spencer’s twin sisters were there and couldn’t
stop staring at Kurt in between asking inappropriate questions. Kurt was open
about his sexuality, but he never thought he would be interrogated by twelve-
year-olds on his kissing technique. Spencer’s parents tried to rein them in,
but they were obviously indulgent parents who were more comfortable turning the
questions into jokes than dampening the girl’s high spirits.
It was nice if strange and unfamiliar to Kurt. Things only got uncomfortable
when Ginger started talking about the local PFLAG chapter and asked if Kurt’s
father was a member.
Hedging, Kurt said, “He’s not really political.”
Eagerly, Ginger leaned forward and said, “Oh, it’s not all activism. There are
support groups and outings as well. I head the group for parents and family of
GLBT youth; your father is welcome at one of our meetings any time. They’re
great places to deal with all the emotions and challenges that come with
raising a teenager.”
Thinking about how his Dad had acted with the pamphlets and his going to the
free clinic for him, Kurt was proud of his Dad for trying so hard, but still
shook his head. “My Dad is great and all, but he’s not really comfortable with
my being gay, yet. I don’t think he’s ready for PFLAG.”
Ginger took hold of Kurt’s hand and emphatically said, “All the more reason for
him to come then.”
Spencer, showing he was a pretty darn good boyfriend, said, “Mom, leave Kurt
and Kurt’s Dad alone.”
Ginger looked at Spencer who had a resolved look on his face. She sighed but
released Kurt’s hand. “I’m sorry. I’m just so passionate about it and I think
everyone else should be as well. I’ll try not to push. Just say you’ll take
some brochures home with you, just in case.”
“Sure.” Kurt was relieved to be let off the hook with just some pamphlets.
He and Spencer made their escape after dinner since it was the twin’s turn to
do the dishes. Once up in Spencer’s room, Spencer pushed the door mostly
closed, but not all the way. He said, “My parents will be checking so we have
to leave the door open.”
“It’s okay, I don’t mind.” Kurt was too busy checking out Spencer’s room to
worry about the door being open or closed. It was painted a deep blue with
white trim and there was a beige comforter on the bed. He had a desk that was
piled high with homework and textbooks, as well as a closet that was open and
overflowing with shoes. There weren’t any posters, but there was a bulletin
board with some pages torn out of music magazines tacked to it. There was one
picture of Blink-182 and another of a drummer that Kurt didn’t recognize. In
the corner was a stool with some drum pads on platforms in front of it.
Spencer said, “Sorry about my Mom. She’s just crazy about the PFLAG stuff.”
“It’s nice that she supports you, though.”
“It is; I just wish she wouldn’t try so hard all the time.” Kurt watched as
Spencer moved some papers and books on his desk until he found his iPod. He
picked a playlist and then docked it into the speakers. The funky sound of Otis
Redding started up and Kurt raised both eyebrows at Spencer. Grinning like a
loon, Spencer put his arms out, snapping his fingers in time with the beat. He
swiveled his hips at Kurt and danced towards him, shoulders swaying. Kurt
ducked his head, but he suspected that Spencer could tell he was charmed. Once
close enough he gripped Kurt around the waist and twirled him in a circle. Kurt
laughed but put his arms around Spencer and danced with him happily.
Jeff found them like that when he came upstairs to check. Kurt blushed fiery
red, but Spencer didn’t let him go. Kurt was torn between pride and
embarrassment. Jeff said, “We’re putting in a movie for Family Night. You guys
are welcome to join us.”
Spencer nodded, but said, “We’re fine. We’re just going to listen to some
music.”
With a pointed look that all parents seemed to have perfected, Jeff said,
“Leave the door open.”
Spencer rolled his eyes, but nodded.
Once Jeff left, Spencer kicked the door a little more closed. He pulled Kurt
closer and kissed him gently. “They won’t check for a while.”
“Are you sure?” Kurt was uncertain, but still eager enough to kiss Spencer in
return and run his hand through Spencer’s silky hair. Simply nodding, Spencer
pushed at Kurt’s hips and guided him towards the bed. Kurt fell back onto it
and then scooted backwards pulling Spencer with him so that they could continue
kissing all the way onto the bed. Spencer followed easily until he was lying
next to Kurt.
They settled into a lazy rhythm of making out and touching, interspersed with
whispered words. Soon Kurt was breathing hard and his cock was stirring. He was
glad Spencer had settled to the side and not directly on him. It felt safer
that way. Kurt was torn between being overwhelmed by the new feelings and
emotions running through him and wanting more of them desperately.
When Spencer moaned Kurt’s name and slid his hand under Kurt’s shirt and up the
middle of his chest, Kurt contradictorily moved into the touch and then
stiffened. Spencer froze and whispered, “Is this all right?”
Trying to catch his breath, getting used to Spencer’s touch, Kurt nodded.
“Yeah, yeah, just.”
Spencer slowly moved his hand to the side of Kurt’s ribs and leaned up on his
other elbow. “Just, what? You can tell me anything.”
“Just that I’m not sure I’m ready for more than this. I know you’ve been with
other people and all, but I haven’t.” Kurt bit his lip and waited while
Spencer’s gaze searched Kurt’s face.
Squeezing Kurt’s side, Spencer said, “Hey, hey. That’s more than fine. Even if
all you wanted to do was hold my hand, I’d still want to be with you.” Poised
delicately, Spencer leaned his forehead on Kurt’s and closed his eyes. “I just
want to be with you.”
Speechless, Kurt mouthed, “Oh.” Before he had fully thought it through, he was
tilting his head that extra inch so he could kiss Spencer hard. Moaning again,
Spencer opened his mouth and let Kurt deepen the kiss. Once they were both
panting again, Kurt pulled back. “I definitely want to do more than hold your
hand. I just want to take it slow.”
“Slow is good. It’s great, even.” Spencer beamed at him and then rolled to his
back, checking the clock behind him. “Anyway, the movie will be ending any
minute now. We should straighten up.”
Kissing the side of Spencer’s jaw, Kurt sat up and climbed off the bed. He
checked his hair in the mirror and grimaced at the wreck of his clothes. They
both smoothed out their clothes and hair and were calmly watching an episode of
Supernatural by the time Spencer’s Dad came upstairs to send Kurt home.
===============================================================================
The next couple of weeks were a blur of happiness for Kurt. He and Spencer
finally managed their picnic date at the park and also had one to the mall. It
turned out that while Spencer didn’t give a damn about his clothes, he had a
total shoe fetish that Kurt planned to exploit mercilessly.
They were still making out like the horny teenagers they were, and while they
had progressed to shirts off, Spencer didn’t push for more and Kurt was glad.
He was still getting used to the freedom to touch and be touched in return.
And then Pavarotti died.
Kurt knew he shouldn’t be so upset over a stupid parakeet that he had only had
for a couple months, but he was. Besides being a charming companion and a sweet
presence in Kurt’s life, Kurt felt like Pavarotti represented all that was good
about his current life and he was frightened that it could all come crashing
down as easily as Pavarotti had died. There one second and gone the next. After
all it had happened to him before. One minute his Mom was there breathing fun
and playfulness into his life and the next she was gone leaving a gaping hole.
Before he thought too deeply about it, his phone was in his hand and he was
dialing Spencer. Jittering one leg, he whispered to himself, “Come on, answer.”
Spencer answered with fondness in his voice. “Hey Kurt, great timing. We just
got a break in marching band.”
Kurt didn’t know what to say; Spencer sounded so happy. “I shouldn’t have
called.”
Before Kurt could hang up, Spencer was talking fast. “Hey, hey. Are you okay?
And you should always call.”
“It’s nothing. I’ll talk to you later.” It was stupid to be upset. He
ruthlessly wiped a tear away.
“Kurt, it’s obviously not nothing. Let me be here for you.”
Kurt could hear how sincere Spencer was and he closed his eyes. He didn’t want
to ruin Spencer’s mood but he didn’t want to be alone either. “Pavarotti died.”
“Oh, man. I’m so sorry. Do you need me to come over?”
“No, I’m late for Warbler practice. I should head out.” It wasn’t until that
moment that he decided to actually attend Warbler practice. There were the
seeds of an idea growing in Kurt’s mind, so he started rummaging through his
bedside drawer as he listened to Spencer.
“Are you sure you’re up for it? I’m sure they would understand. I could even
tell them for you.”
“I want to go, I think. I want to sing a tribute to Pavarotti. My Mom used to
sing to me when I was little and one of her favorite songs was “Blackbird” by
The Beatles. I still have the tape of the music.”
There was silence on the other side of the phone for a couple breaths, and Kurt
paused with the tape clutched in his hand. He heard Spencer let out a breath
and finally say, “That sounds like an amazing tribute for Pavarotti.”
“I should get ready. Thanks for being there for me.”
“Any time. I just wish I could do more. Are you sure you’re going to be all
right?”
“I think I will now. I, well, I’m glad you were there for me to call.”
“Me too. Whatever it is, just know I’ll be there.”
Kurt could hear the marching band start playing their instruments in the
distance so he quickly let Spencer go and, resolved, he began planning his
mourning clothes for Pavarotti.
He made his grand entrance to Warbler practice and sang his song for Pavarotti;
he wasn’t able to hold back the tears entirely, but he was happy he got his
speech out and didn’t choke on the words of the song. Tears were flowing more
frequently when he finished and he couldn’t look anyone in the eye as he said
thank you, but then there was a commotion at the door and he looked over to see
Spencer striding towards him in his marching band uniform. He gulped back a sob
as Spencer wrapped his arms around him. More easily he whispered, “Thank you,”
into Spencer’s shoulder and clung tightly.
Spencer whispered back, “I had to come. You were amazing.”
They stayed like that until someone coughed and then Kurt released Spencer,
embarrassed. Spencer didn’t let him go far and he gently wiped away Kurt’s
tears before letting him go. “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”
Nodding, Kurt gave Spencer a watery smile and watched him leave. He noticed
that Brendon was waiting outside for Spencer.
Kurt dropped into the nearest seat where Jeff offered him a handkerchief. He
sniffed surreptitiously and with a small nod, took it and wiped the tear tracks
from his cheeks.
After practice he accepted the condolences of the other Warblers, letting
Blaine hug him tightly. As they filtered out of the room in groups, Kurt
retrieved his Mom’s tape and met Spencer and Brendon outside the practice room.
Brendon hugged him tightly too, and then Spencer was wrapping an arm around
Kurt’s shoulder and leading him towards the parking lot. Kurt said, “I can’t
believe you came to practice.”
“Well, I knew it was important to you and I’d never heard you sing before.”
Brendon scooted around Spencer to pipe up with, “And you were awesome!”
Kurt smiled at Brendon and leaned his head on Spencer’s shoulder allowing
Spencer to kiss his brow. Spencer said, “Brendon’s right, you were amazing. You
sounded ethereal.”
“Thank you. Now I just have to plan Pavarotti’s funeral.”
“We’ll be there, whenever it is.”
“That means a lot to me.”
Kurt promised Spencer he was fine to drive home and that he would call that
evening. Spencer wouldn’t part from him otherwise and Kurt felt so cared for in
that moment. It was weird feeling so sad, yet so cherished at the same time.
The next, better surprise happened at the following Warbler meeting when Blaine
asked for a duet with Kurt for Regionals. To say Kurt was stunned was an
understatement. He couldn’t wait to share the news with Spencer.
Blaine tried to flag him down as he was leaving, but Kurt waved him off as he
said, “I have to give Spencer the good news before marching band practice ends
and he leaves.”
Blaine got a curious look on his face, but it passed in an instant and then he
was smiling. “Of course. I’ll catch you later to discuss the details.”
“Thanks!” Kurt rushed to the lacrosse field where the marching band practiced
and caught Spencer and Brendon just as practice was breaking up. He flew into
Spencer’s arms and Spencer laughed as he caught him. “You’re happy today.”
“I get to sing lead at Regionals! It’s a duet, but still. Regionals!”
“That’s fantastic! You so deserve it.”
Not caring about the marching band teacher or the other kids around, Kurt
kissed Spencer hard. He mumbled against Spencer’s mouth. “I couldn’t wait to
tell you.”
Holding Kurt’s head so that he couldn’t break the kiss, Spencer mumbled back,
“I couldn’t wait to hear it.”
Breathless, Kurt laughed and then they were both laughing, holding onto each
other’s arms. Spencer said, “Let me change and we’ll go out and celebrate.”
Nodding, Kurt replied, “I’ll call my Dad and let him know.”
They went to Breadstix, of course. Kurt couldn’t stop smiling although he was
starting to come down from the high of the news. He wondered if Blaine’s change
of attitude was because of Kurt’s flip comment about Blaine and the Pips or if
there were deeper reasons going on. He didn’t share his thoughts with Spencer,
though. He saved them to consider later that night when he was alone.
The next day, Blaine found him as he was decorating Pavarotti’s casket. He
brought up “Candles” by Hey Monday as the song he wanted to sing for Regionals
saying he wanted something more emotional. Kurt bit his lip and looked closely
at Blaine. Blaine wouldn’t look back at him for more than a second at a time.
Kurt had been so wrong before about Blaine’s feelings that he was nervous now,
but he couldn’t keep his thoughts silent. They had vowed to be honest with each
other; their friendship was predicated on it. Plus, he knew how awful it was to
be on tenterhooks about someone else’s feelings. He didn’t want to do that to
Blaine. “Why did you pick me to sing that song with?”
“Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself, oh, there you are. I’ve been
looking for you forever. Watching you do Blackbird this week, that was the
moment for me. About you. You move me, Kurt. And this duet would just be an
excuse to spend more time with you.”
Overwhelmed even though it was what he had expected, Kurt simply said,
“Blaine.” He could see how much getting each word out was hurting Blaine, but
he didn’t know how to ease things between them. Through dating Spencer he had
come to realize that he had loved the idea of Blaine as a Big Gay Savior; he
hadn’t loved the actual boy. As he got to know the real Blaine over the
following months he had grown to love him for himself, but it paled in
comparison to how he felt about Spencer. He felt bad that they had missed their
chance due to poor timing, but he couldn’t feel bad about being with Spencer.
It was too important to him.
Blaine took his hand. Blaine’s hands were clammy and his grip was a little too
tight. “I know you’re with Spencer and he makes you happy. I’m not trying to
interfere with that. I just want you to know how amazing I think you are.”
“I think you’re amazing too. You’re my best friend. I don’t want to lose that.”
“They’ll need a crowbar to pry me from your side.” Kurt couldn’t help the
little laugh that escaped him. Blaine chuckled back and released Kurt’s hand.
“Your friendship means the world to me too. I don’t want to lose you, either.”
Impulsively Kurt hugged Blaine and whispered a final, “I’m so sorry. I know
what this feels like.”
Blaine hugged back briefly and then changed the topic in a husky voice. “So how
about we rehearse now?”
Kurt simply nodded and let Blaine take a minute to compose himself.
===============================================================================
Kurt debated telling Spencer about his talk with Blaine, but was reluctant to
bring it up. He didn’t know how to do it without coming off like an asshole who
was saying, “I may love you, but I have a back-up just in case,” especially
when he was spending a lot of time alone with Blaine rehearsing for Regionals.
Which brought up the other thing; he was in love with Spencer. Did people just
blurt it out? He knew Spencer cared for him, but he had no idea if it was too
soon to say, “I love you,” or even if Spencer truly felt that deeply for him.
Maybe he was just a rebound. He hoped that was a ridiculous thought, Spencer
had always been wonderful towards him, so he told himself there was no reason
to doubt, but he still did.
In the end he decided that he wouldn’t think about it all until after
Regionals. He spent extra time practicing both with Blaine and with the rest of
The Warblers. He barely had time to see Spencer anyway. Spencer was very
understanding and they still talked on the phone every night, but it didn’t
help allay Kurt’s nervous fears about how they felt for each other and whether
he was the only one falling.
When Regionals finally arrived, Kurt was a ball of nerves between his Spencer
thoughts and singing jitters. He had never sung lead before such a large
audience. He was thrilled to get the chance, but also petrified. Blaine made
fun of him and the familiarity of their friendship was somewhat soothing. Still
when he had to step forward and sing the first note, his hands were sweating
and his throat felt like it would close up any second.
But then the miraculous happened. His voice held and then Blaine joined him and
it became magical. They flirted as they sang and circled each other, turning it
into their best performance of the song yet. And then Blaine put him center
stage for the applause and Kurt remembered why he performed. His heart felt
full to bursting with accomplishment and joy. That feeling carried him through
the rest of their performances.
It wasn’t until after they did “Raise Your Glass” and left the stage that Kurt
recalled that Spencer was in the audience and he realized he should maybe worry
about what Spencer thought of Kurt’s flirting with Blaine. He bit his lip as
they joined the audience for New Direction’s performance. He looked around a
bit, but couldn’t find Spencer and finally had to shelve his search for their
performance. And they performed beautifully. Who would have guessed that they
would do original songs and could write such catchy tunes in the first place?
Kurt had never been prouder of his formed glee club.
He still thought The Warblers had a chance at winning, but knew The New
Directions were their toughest competition. Finally after all the glee clubs
were called backstage and then moved to the main stage for the announcement of
the winner, Kurt was shaking with nerves. New York would be a trip of a
lifetime.
When they lost, Kurt was torn between his own crushed dreams and happiness for
New Directions. He exchanged looks with Blaine, who seemed much more sanguine
about their loss. And then they were trooping off-stage and Kurt finally saw
Spencer. He looked as crushed as Kurt felt. Rushing into Spencer’s arms, Kurt
buried his face in Spencer’s neck.
Hugging back tightly, Spencer said, “You were robbed. You were by far the best
up there.”
“You’re biased, but thank you.”
They broke apart when the rest of The Warblers gathered around. Wes said, “The
bus is leaving. Are you coming with us, Kurt?”
After exchanging looks with Spencer, Kurt replied, “No, I have a ride.”
Blaine pulled him into a hug good-bye and whispered, “Spencer was right, you
were great.” Kurt hugged him hard and when he pulled back, he had to wipe the
tears from his eyes. He nodded and squeezed Blaine’s arm. Then Blaine led The
Warblers out leaving Kurt and Spencer alone.
“I really am sorry. I know how much this meant to you,” Spencer said.
“Can we just go?”
“Of course.” Spencer took his hand and they walked quietly to Spencer’s
minivan. The ride home was sedate. Kurt didn’t feel much like conversation at
the moment. Spencer put on some soft music, some bluesy singer with a husky
voice. Kurt had never heard it before, but it fit his mood perfectly.
Once they parked in Kurt’s driveway, Kurt didn’t get out. He said, “I have to
go congratulate Finn now.”
Spencer grimaced and turned in his seat so that one leg was pulled up and he
was facing Kurt. “That really does suck. I admire you for competing though. I
want to be in front of a crowd, but being judged is a whole other story. I
don’t know how you can take it.”
“This was the first time I sang lead. It was harder than I thought it would be.
More scary and I feel like I let everyone down.”
“Hey, no. You were great. Don’t think like that. The judges were obviously
biased.” Spencer reached across the console and took Kurt’s hand.
Leaning his head back, Kurt sighed. “I really wanted to go to New York,
though.”
“I know. But maybe now we could go together for the first time.”
Twisting his head to look at Spencer and seeing the sympathetic look on his
face, Kurt felt a rush of love for him. “You’re a great boyfriend, you know
that, right?”
Spencer huffed a laugh. “Okay. I don’t know what brought that on, but I’m glad
to hear it.”
“You always know the right thing to say. It’s kind of annoying, now that I
think about it. I’m a mess and you’re perfect. What are you doing with me?”
Kurt was only half joking.
Reaching over and tucking a strand of hair behind Kurt’s ear, Spencer quietly
said, “I’m having the time of my life. That’s what I’m doing with you.”
Kurt leaned forward to kiss Spencer. “See like that. Totally the perfect thing
to say and totally annoying.”
Laughing, Spencer held Kurt’s head in place and deepened the kiss. When they
pulled apart, Spencer was grinning like a fool. “I’ll try and be more of a jerk
going forward. How’s that?”
Kurt solemnly said, “Thank you,” and they both grinned at each other like
loons.
Later that night, after congratulating Finn and downplaying his loss to his Dad
and Carole, Kurt thought about what Spencer said as he began his nightly skin
care regimen. While New York would have been the icing on the cake, he couldn’t
have imagined getting through this year without Spencer to brighten it up.
Going from McKinley and Karofsky to Dalton and Blaine was a big shift, and
neither was ideal. Being bullied sucked, but so did unrequited love. Kurt
didn’t truly feel like himself until Spencer entered the picture.
Spencer didn’t ask him to change or to be different than who he was, but at the
same time, being with Spencer made Kurt want to be the best person he could. He
was changing Kurt, but not intentionally; he was helping Kurt mature just by
being there. Kurt had always assumed love was full of idealized perfection, now
he knew it was full of laughter and striving to be good enough. But even though
it was more work than he had realized, love was turning out better than he had
imagined.
Now to just tell Spencer how he felt and risk everything falling apart. Kurt
paused in front of his mirror with his moisturizing sponge held aloft. He knew
he would have to man up eventually, but this felt scarier than performing
earlier had. The rejection would be so much more devastating. And, huh. Who
knew love could feel more important than New York?
===============================================================================
He probably would have wallowed forever in a half-state of indecision if it
hadn’t been for a surprise visit at Spencer’s next band practice. Spencer was
late, Ian and Dallon were going to be even later, and Kurt was just hanging out
with Brendon when the door opened and a lean, dark-haired boy entered and
peered around.
Brendon stilled and said, “Ryan.”
A wash of emotions flowed through Kurt, most of them too subtle or too quick to
capture. What was left in the end was cold, bone-deep fury. In a deceptively
calm voice, he asked, “That’s Ryan?” Brendon nodded and before Ryan could
speak, Kurt was across the room and in his face. “Who the hell do you think you
are? You have no right to be here.”
In a what-the-fuck tone, Ryan asked, “Who are you?”
“I’m Spencer’s boyfriend.” And even in his anger, Kurt felt a thrill at getting
to say that.
Brendon, apparently released from his frozen stance, was next to Kurt and
tugging at his arm. He was saying, “Come on, Kurt. Let it go,” but Kurt
couldn’t spare even a glance for him. Instead his eyes were locked on Ryan’s
smirking face.
Ryan, also ignoring Brendon, and in a bored yet knowing tone, said, “A little
jealous, are we?”
Kurt actually saw red. He had always thought that was a euphemism, but the
edges of his vision were crimson. “I’m not jealous, you cretin, I’m livid. You
broke his heart, asshole, and you just come waltzing back here?” If Kurt was a
violent person he would punch Ryan, but he restrained himself and just poked
him in the chest with his finger. He was always better with words, anyway.
Before Ryan could answer, Spencer spoke from the doorway. “What on earth is
going on?”
With an elaborate eye roll, Ryan turned and said, “You might want to call off
your pit bull, Spence.”
In a resigned voice, Spencer said, “Ryan.”
With one last disdainful glance at Kurt, Ryan moved towards Spencer. “Can we
talk?”
Kurt clenched his hands into fists and met Spencer’s gaze over Ryan’s shoulder.
Spencer looked conflicted and Kurt supposed it was with good reason. Kurt
wanted Spencer to throw Ryan out, but his anger was abating and he knew that
was selfish of him. They had been best friends and it had been obvious to Kurt
how much Ryan’s actions had affected Spencer. There was unfinished business
there.
Spencer pointed a finger at Ryan and sternly said, “Stay.” He then walked over
to Kurt and touched his arm lightly. “Are you okay?”
Kurt heard Ryan snort and say, “He’s the one who attacked me and you’re worried
about him?” but Spencer’s eyes never left Kurt’s face.
Taking a deep breath, Kurt nodded. “I’ll be fine. Do what you have to do,
okay?” He didn’t mean it snidely, he meant it sincerely. He knew he had to let
Spencer fight his own battles.
Spencer said, “I’ll find out what he wants and then come back for you. Don’t
leave, okay?”
Kurt nodded again and Spencer hugged him. Kurt whispered, “I’ll always wait for
you.” Spencer squeezed him extra hard.
He then went to Ryan. In the same resigned voice he said, “Outside.” Kurt
watched as Ryan simply nodded and wrapped his arms defensively across his
chest. He looked smaller now with Spencer here and whole than he had when Kurt
was confronting him. It was disconcerting. Kurt was left feeling on edge,
confused, and a little shaky from the adrenaline rush. Spencer and Ryan left
the house and Kurt could only wait and breathe.
He had forgotten that Brendon was there until he slowly slid his arm around
Kurt’s shoulder. “It’ll be all right. Spence really cares about you.”
“Have they been in touch before?”
“A few times, I think.”
“Oh.”
Brendon squeezed his shoulder. In an impressed voice, he said, “You were
fierce, though. I thought you were going to knock Ryan out.”
Kurt exchanged wry smiles with Brendon. “Too bad I’m a pacifist; I wanted to.
I’ve never been so angry.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re on our side.”
Kurt and Brendon wandered over to the couch and sat down heavily. They talked
desultorily about music while they waited for Spencer to come back. Kurt was
still feeling the edge of his anger, but it was draining completely away. Kurt
wanted to ask about Ryan and Spencer’s relationship, but he didn’t want to put
Brendon in an awkward position so he held his tongue.
Spencer came back alone, looking a little freaked out. Kurt sat up straight but
before he could ask a question, Spencer was saying, “Brendon? I need you to
come out here.” Brendon looked between Spencer and Kurt before nodding and
hurrying to Spencer’s side.
They left and Kurt was left fretting. It was the longest ten minutes of his
life and a whole bunch of wild imaginings crossed his mind; everything from
AIDS to cancer to secret adoptions. When he was finally moved to pace the room
nervously, Spencer returned alone. The stood staring at each other for a
breathless moment and then Spencer was rushing across the room and hugging him.
Overcome, Kurt said, ‘Oh my god, it is cancer.”
Spencer held him at arm’s length and said, “What? No, it’s nothing like that.
It’s good. It’s amazing. I don’t even know what to say.”
“Say something because I am really freaking out here.”
“Ryan, well, when Ryan was in the band he put some of our music on Pete Wentz’s
blog.”
“Why do I know that name?”
“He’s from Fall Out Boy. I can’t believe you don’t know who Pete Wentz is. We
seriously need to expand your musical education, but now I’m getting off track.
Pete Wentz liked our music and wants to meet us about a recording contract.”
“But Ryan isn’t in the band anymore.”
“Ryan explained that to him and told him that we had a new line-up. Pete Wentz
still wants to hear what we sound like now. Besides you’re ignoring the
important part-- recording contract.”
“And this is on the up and up?”
“Totally.”
Kurt searched Spencer’s face and he could finally see the barely tamped-down
excitement. He felt his own excitement rising and threw his arms around
Spencer. “That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you!”
Hugging back hard, Spencer huffed out a laugh and twirled Kurt. “I can’t
believe it. Pete fucking Wentz.”
There was a cough behind them and Kurt turned to see a beaming Brendon in the
doorway. He said, “I called Ian and Dallon and told them the news. We’re
meeting at Bob’s Diner in two hours to celebrate.”
Spencer replied, “We’ll be there.”
Looking between Spencer and Kurt, Brendon said, “I’ll give you guys some
privacy until then, yeah?”
Spencer nodded and looked relieved. Brendon rushed forward and hugged both of
them before heading out. Overwhelmed by the events of the afternoon, Kurt sat
down heavily. His emotions had been all over the place and while he was excited
for Spencer, the vestiges of his anger and worry remained. Sheepishly he said,
“I’m sorry for the way I treated Ryan. I don’t know what came over me.”
Sighing, Spencer came and sat next to him. “He’s not a bad guy. You don’t have
to protect me from him, you know. I can handle Ryan.”
Kurt twisted so he could face Spencer and took one of his hands. “But you
shouldn’t have to face your ex-boyfriend alone. Even when he has amazing news,
it must be hard.”
An accepting smile graced Spencer’s face and he leaned forward and pressed a
kiss to Kurt’s mouth. “I never did say thank you for defending my honor.”
Kissing back, Kurt curled towards Spencer. Spencer leaned back pulling Kurt on
top of him. Flowing with the tug of Spencer’s hands, Kurt didn’t break the
kiss. Soon Spencer was lying back with on leg bent off the couch and the other
he shifted so that Kurt was cradled between his legs. It was the most intimate
they had ever been and Kurt’s breath caught at the feel of Spencer’s firm
muscles beneath him.
He waited for the rush of uncertainty that usually came with each new intimacy,
but it never happened. He felt too safe with Spencer; he was too sure of his
feelings. He moaned in wonder and happiness and kissed Spencer harder. He began
undoing the buttons of Spencer’s uniform shirt, pressing soft touches into
Spencer’s belly, near his belt buckle. Shuddering beneath him, Spencer asked,
“Kurt?”
Interspersed with kisses, Kurt said, “I don’t know if this is the right time or
if it’s too clichéd or what, but I love you. So much.”
Spencer stilled underneath him and Kurt met Spencer’s intent gaze. Spencer
raised a trembling hand to Kurt’s face, tracing his cheek. “It’s always the
right time to tell me that. I love you too.” His voice broke, but there was a
transcendent smile on his face. He dropped his hand to circle Kurt’s wrist on
his stomach. “But that doesn’t mean we have to rush into anything.”
“What if I want to? Maybe not rush, but move forward?”
“God, of course. Anything, you know I’ll give you anything.” Spencer smiled
warmly at Kurt and Kurt was helpless not to smile back. He had worried for a
second if oddly enough it was Spencer that wasn’t ready for more, but he was
glad to know they were both on the same page right now.
Then they were kissing ardently and while Kurt was busy mapping Spencer’s hips
and belly, Spencer was unbuttoning Kurt’s shirt up to his Dalton tie. He whined
breathlessly when the tie stopped his path, but then Spencer got distracted by
Kurt’s nipple and Kurt got distracted by Spencer’s mouth. They both moaned this
time.
Leaning heavily on the back of the couch, Kurt used his other hand to help hold
Spencer’s head up. The slight sucking pressure on his nipple was making him
pant and sending shooting sparks to his cock. Spencer pulled off with the
smallest of tugs causing Kurt to shake.
Energized, Kurt helped guide Spencer’s head back to the couch and then slid his
hand across Spencer’s neck and down his chest to his belt buckle. He glanced up
at Spencer’s face to see if this was still all right and found Spencer staring
hard at his hand. Taking that as tacit approval, leaning up a bit and using the
couch back as support so both hands were free, Kurt undid Spencer’s buckle and
zipper. As he smoothed the trouser placket apart, Spencer whispered, “Oh, god.”
Kurt flicked another quick glance at Spencer’s face and then refocused on what
he was doing. His hands were shaking, out of excitement and nervousness both,
but for the first time he was overcome with solid want. He could see Spencer’s
hard cock straining against the confines of his briefs and it wasn’t as scary
as he had feared. He mostly felt a kinship with Spencer. They were the same and
were coping with the same arousal.
He brushed the back of his knuckles along the length of Spencer’s cock causing
Spencer’s hips to twitch violently and the breath to whoosh out of him. Kurt
smiled at him and chuckled huskily. The fear had been creeping back, but
Spencer’s reaction just made him feel powerful and protective. Spencer said,
“Shut up. Wait until it’s your turn.”
Moving to perch on his knees over Spencer, Kurt said, “Lift your hips.”
As Spencer pushed his hips up, Kurt slid his underwear and trousers down, the
belt clinking. Spencer’s cock bounced slightly as it was freed from the briefs
and Kurt wanted to laugh, but he was afraid it would come out more than a
little hysterical. He’d never seen another boy’s hard cock before. It was a
fraught moment for him; he was stunned and happy and scared all at the same
time.
Once they resettled, Kurt again brushed his knuckles along Spencer’s length,
getting used to the feel of it, marveling at the velvety and hot skin. He got
the same reaction and he couldn’t contain his giggle, but Spencer just
playfully slapped his shoulder. Taking a fortifying breath, Kurt wrapped his
hand around Spencer’s cock and stroked. He liked the heavy feel of it and
wondered how it would feel on his tongue. He knew he wasn’t ready for that yet,
not really, so he just continued stroking slowly.
Spencer was squirming and panting underneath him and having the boy he loved at
his mercy was turning Kurt on more than he would have imagined and making his
own cock strain against his trousers. Kurt sped his hand up and straightened up
further so he could use his other hand to explore Spencer’s balls, cupping them
and checking their weight too. He knew, or assumed at any rate, that he would
get the chance to do this again, but he was suddenly eager to feel everything.
Intending only to take a quick glance at Spencer’s face to make sure everything
was all right, Kurt was stunned into staring at him instead. Spencer’s head was
thrown back and he was panting hard. His hands were white-knuckled on the couch
cushions and he was so beautiful to Kurt. Staring at Spencer’s arched neck and
face, Kurt increased his pace on Spencer’s cock and caressed Spencer’s balls
with his other hand. He felt like he was caught in an erotic loop. He would
touch Spencer differently and Spencer would gasp or tighten his hands or do
something to cause Kurt to try something else to see what kind of reaction it
elicited.
Kurt was so caught up in Spencer’s face, he was taken by surprise when Spencer
suddenly bowed forward and his cock jerked against Kurt’s hand as Spencer came.
They were lucky that Kurt wasn’t leaning forward too much or else their heads
would have hit. He wanted to giggle at that thought, but more than anything he
wanted to get off. Spencer’s cock softened in his hand and he finally released
it, instead touching Spencer’s come-covered belly. Spencer flopped back against
the couch cushions with a sappy grin and Kurt did laugh out loud at him.
Spencer didn’t seem to mind. Just as suddenly he was sitting up with his hands
holding Kurt’s face as he kissed him sloppily, but intently.
Scrambling beneath Kurt to get upright and to undo Kurt’s trousers, Spencer
said, “Let me. Oh god, let me.”
Kurt was nodding yes, when he felt Spencer’s hands on him for the first time.
It felt like his body was on fire and alive with electric sensations. He said a
breathless, “Oh!” Kurt fell backwards a bit, allowing Spencer more room to
maneuver. Spencer grinned at him and Kurt remembered that rush of power and
affection at getting to bring joy to another person that he had had moments
before. He smiled back and said, “I love you.”
With a bigger grin, Spencer said, “You’ll love me more in a couple seconds.”
They both giggled a little hysterically at the cheesy line and Kurt was so glad
that he was here with Spencer. No one else would have been as much fun. Spencer
finally got Kurt’s more fitted trousers undone and down past his ass and began
his own exploration of Kurt’s cock. Having Spencer’s firm grip stroke him was
exhilarating. He gasped and rocked into Spencer’s hand.
With each tug of Spencer’s hands, Kurt’s hips were rocking and his arousal was
ratcheting up. All too soon, and much sooner than Spencer had, Kurt was coming
with another person for the first time. He collapsed onto Spencer and they both
fell back onto the couch, breathless. Understanding Spencer’s actions more now,
Kurt began pressing butterfly kisses to Spencer’s face and neck. With a grin,
he said, “I kind of do love you a little bit more right now.”
They both laughed and Spencer hugged him tightly.
===============================================================================
Kurt spent the next couple of days on an emotional rollercoaster, even though
he didn’t get to see Spencer outside of school. Even losing Regionals was
pushed to the back of his mind as he was consumed with thoughts of Spencer and
all they could be doing together, if they could just find the time. He had
never before felt so alive and sexual in his life.
The problem was that Spencer and his band were practicing every spare moment in
preparation for Pete Wentz’s visit at the end of the week. Spencer and Kurt
found stolen moments to make out and cuddle, but they couldn’t revisit their
new level of intimacy given Spencer’s hectic band schedule.
Kurt also learned more about Pete Wentz than he felt any reasonable person
should know, especially since his education included naked pictures that had
apparently been leaked to the internet. The secondhand embarrassment was
extreme, but Spencer just laughed at him. Like the naked pictures, not
everything Kurt learned was positive, and he had his doubts about Pete Wentz’s
intentions, but he kept them to himself. He didn’t want to unnecessarily burst
Spencer’s bubble and he had seen the look on Spencer’s parent’s faces and he
could tell they had the same doubts. He figured their lawyer would help keep
this on the up and up.
Spencer and the guys insisted on meeting Pete by themselves. Kurt understood
where they were coming from. Meeting your idol with your parents hovering was
embarrassing and having just Kurt there would look weird, but he was still a
bit miffed that he couldn’t be there to support Spencer; that Spencer didn’t
need his support.
Plus, Kurt was worried. Rockstars weren’t out; everyone knew that. Would
Spencer give up Kurt for fame and fortune? Unfortunately, Spencer had asked him
to keep the news quiet until they signed a contract so he couldn’t even discuss
his worries with Blaine. Plus, he didn’t know if it was still cool to discuss
his worries about Spencer with Blaine, after Blaine’s confession. He didn’t
want to abuse their friendship and take advantage of Blaine’s feelings.
Kurt might have been even more relieved than Spencer when the day of Pete
Wentz’s visit finally came. Living with the uncertainty and suspense was
killing him. It was a Saturday and Kurt forced himself to do his chores and
homework although he kept his phone close by even when he knew there was no
chance of Spencer calling yet. He got phone calls from Mercedes and Blaine, but
he was so distracted they knew something was up, and he had to make up some
story about Finn washing his delicates in the regular wash.
Finally around five, when Kurt was jumping out of his skin, Spencer called.
Kurt, too tense for formalities, answered with, “What did he say?”
“We’re in!” Kurt could hear the giddiness in Spencer’s voice.
“Oh my god! I’m so happy for you.”
“We’re all going out to dinner. Will you come?”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.” Secretly, Kurt desperately wanted to
go and get a feel for this Pete Wentz character himself, but he felt it was
best to play it casual.
Sounding fond, Spencer replied, “Of course. I told Pete all about you. He wants
to meet you.”
Kurt felt a moment of relief but then concern took over. “Are you sure that was
wise?”
“I’m not going to hide. Besides, I’m just the drummer, nobody cares who they
date.”
“When it is another boy, people will always care, one way or another.”
Spencer hummed in response and Kurt recognized his “I don’t agree with you but
I don’t want to fight about it” tone. Spencer, although a stand-up guy, was all
about avoiding actual confrontation. Sometimes Kurt wondered how the split with
Ryan had actually gone down and how much that influenced how Spencer was now.
Changing the topic, Spencer said, “We’re eating at Breadstix at six-thirty.
Will you be there?”
“I wouldn’t miss it. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks, really. I need to call my parents now. I’ll see you then.”
Kurt was a bit stunned to realize Spencer had called him before calling his
parents, so he just had the wits to say, “Bye.”
Checking his watch, he saw he only had an hour to get ready and drive there.
Muttering an expletive, he began rushing around his room, tearing through his
closet for the best outfit in which to meet a rockstar.
By the time he made it to Breadstix, he was only running fifteen minutes late.
He thought that was a major accomplishment. Straitening his jacket, he walked
sedately through the door and scanned the dining room. He didn’t see Spencer or
Brendon and he started to worry they had gone somewhere else when the hostess
came up and asked him for his party’s name. At a loss, he simple asked,
“Spencer Smith?”
She nodded and said, “Right this way. They’re in the banquet room in the back.”
Relieved, he followed her towards the back and let her usher him into the room.
Everyone was already seated and turned to look at him and Kurt had a moment of
doubt and insecurity. But then Spencer was rising from his seat with an
unstoppable smile and Kurt was helpless in the face of it. He smiled back and
let Spencer wrap him in a tight and warm hug. When Spencer pulled back, he
placed a quick kiss on Kurt’s lips. Kurt could feel the besotted smile forming
on his face, but he didn’t care what anyone thought in the face of his love for
Spencer.
Spencer dragged him to the far end of the table and said, “Kurt, this is Pete
Wentz. Pete, this is my boyfriend Kurt.”
Pete Wentz was shorter than Kurt was expecting. He was Blaine-sized, but the
wicked gleam in his eyes was unlike the more solemn Blaine.
In what turned out to be his haughtiest voice, Kurt said, “It’s a pleasure.” He
didn’t mean to sound so condescending, but he tended toward formality when he
was nervous.
Pete just grinned like a shark and his gaze swept over Kurt from head to toe.
“So you’re the boy who ruined all my marketing plans, huh? I see the appeal.”
Kurt blushed and Pete laughed. It wasn’t a mean-spirited laugh, but it was
definitely knowing. Kurt almost didn’t know what to make of such obvious
acknowledgement of his sexuality and relationship.
Luckily, Spencer just laughed and pulled Kurt towards two free seats down the
table. He whispered into Kurt’s ear. “Ignore him. He’s a bit obnoxious.”
As he was sitting down, Kurt mumbled, “A bit?” Spencer must have heard him
because he snorted out a laugh, making Kurt smile and grip Spencer’s hand
tighter. He loved it when they were on the same page.
Dinner was a raucous affair. Everyone was in high spirits, even the boys’
parents. Brendon’s parents were conspicuously absent, but Kurt didn’t feel
comfortable asking about them. Pete was a large presence, telling stories of
touring and being famous. Most of them were played for humor, but Kurt could
also tell that they were meant as cautionary tales about loneliness and ego.
Seeing this side of him, Kurt’s respect for Pete went up.
Kurt didn’t say much, he was too busy listening and letting it soak in that his
boyfriend had a record contract and was possibly going to be a big rockstar. He
was happy for Spencer, of course, but also a smidge jealous and an even bigger
smidge worried about being left behind. The roil of emotions was disquieting.
What kept it under control was the way Spencer looked at him throughout the
meal. He shared his laughter and unspoken moments and held Kurt’s hand as much
as eating would allow. Kurt found it easier to believe in Spencer’s love when
it was so obviously displayed.
===============================================================================
When his Dad called him as classes let out for lunch, Kurt’s heart stopped and
he answered in a rush. Something must be wrong. His Dad never called him; he
called his Dad. Breathless, he asked, “Dad?”
“Hey, Kurt. I have some… news.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing! Or possibly nothing. I got a weird call from McKinley High School
today.”
“McKinley? But I don’t go there anymore.”
“That’s what they want to talk about. Apparently that guy Karofsky has had a
change of heart.” Kurt snorted his disbelief at that. His Dad chuckled and
answered, “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Do you want me to tell them to go take
a hike?”
Kurt thought about it seriously. Whatever Karofsky’s real intentions were, to
involve the school administration meant he was serious and not trying to lure
Kurt back to the school to finally finish what he started. Probably.
Plus, and this voice could not be silenced, Kurt wondered if this would be his
ticket to Nationals and New York. He knew it was a selfish thought, but he
couldn’t contain a shiver of excitement. At any rate, he wouldn’t know what was
going on without speaking to them. “No, Dad. I want to hear what they have to
say.”
“If you’re sure. There’s a tentative meeting set up for this afternoon. Meet me
at the house after your last class gets out and we’ll drive over together.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“Anything for you, kiddo.”
When Kurt hung up the phone, Spencer was looking at him curiously. “Everything
all right?”
“I think McKinley wants me back.”
Emotions raced across Spencer’s face. He gave Kurt a weak smile. “Oh.”
Kurt wrapped his arm around Spencer. “Hey. It’s not like that. I don’t know
what it is yet, but it won’t affect you and me. I really believe that.”
Spencer still looked worried. “But you’re seriously thinking of going back. I
thought you were happy here?”
“I am! But there is the money to consider and Nationals.”
“Right, Nationals and New York. Now you could go. I get it.” Spencer pulled
away from Kurt and headed towards their lunch table at a fast clip.
Kurt watched his back and swaying hips for a long second thinking about what he
was contemplating giving up. Lunch with Spencer and the other guys, coffee with
Blaine before Warbler practice, holding hands in the hallways. All for New York
and a little bit of pleasure at seeing his McKinley friends more regularly
again.
Now that he considered it, he wasn’t sure he would be happy with the trade. Oh,
New York would be magical, but he would have to get through two more months of
McKinley first.
He walked slowly to the lunch table, frowning.
Spencer was curt with him for the rest of the day, but he still held Kurt’s
hand; held it a little tighter, even. Kurt barely noticed as he weighed the pro
and cons in his head. He knew he was being a bad boyfriend, but he felt too
conflicted to drum up the reserves to settle things with Spencer before they
parted for the day.
He was a bit overwhelmed when he ran into Blaine in the parking lot who asked
him out for coffee. The whole story came pouring out of him. Blaine looked
thunderous. Kurt had only a second to re-think whether he should have told
Blaine before Blaine exploded. “You can’t seriously be thinking of going back
there! He threatened to kill you.”
“My Dad said McKinley said he had a change of heart.”
“And you believe that?”
“No! No, but I would get to go to New York and I would get to see my old
friends again. I’m just considering it.”
“Kurt. I know how important New York is to you, but is it really worth getting
bullied for? Seriously?”
Deflating, Kurt slumped against his Navigator. “When you put it like that, no.
But we don’t know what they have to say. Maybe things will be different.” He
looked hopefully at Blaine.
Blaine sighed and hugged Kurt. “I don’t think you can trust this guy or
McKinley, but I get where you are coming from. Just remember we love you at
Dalton too.”
Blinking back tears, Kurt hugged him back. “Thank you.” He suddenly felt
cherished by both Blaine and Spencer. They wanted him there and they wanted to
share their lives with him. It was a heady feeling and it really made him doubt
the wisdom of going to McKinley, at the same time he knew he would regret not
finding out what was going on at the very least. Breaking the hug, Kurt said,
“I have to go meet my Dad. I’m not saying I’m considering leaving, but I do
want to find out what is going on.”
Blaine nodded. “Okay. Just remember that New York is only for 3 days while
McKinley will be for months on end.”
Kurt grimaced. When put in stark terms like that it didn’t sound nearly as
appealing. He drove home to meet his Dad and then switched to his Dad’s truck
when he got there. They drove to McKinley mostly silently. Kurt knew his Dad
was as unhappy about this as Blaine and Spencer were, so he said, “I just want
to figure out what’s going on. I’m not saying I’ll go back.”
“That’s good because this is only one bully among the pack. You know what it
will be like again.”
Resigned, Kurt replied, “Yeah, I know.”
The talk with Karofsky and Figgins went about how Kurt expected. His Dad yelled
and Figgins was smarmy. When he got Karofsky alone and found out it was all a
set-up by Santana to get Prom Queen, he wanted to laugh bitterly. That made so
much more sense than a real change of heart.
He told everyone he had to think about it and he let his Dad lead him from the
school, thinking hard. They drove home silently but neither got out of the car
once they reached the house. His Dad asked, “Okay, I’m not a mind-reader. What
are you thinking?”
Kurt heaved a big sigh and leaned his head against the seat. He tilted his head
to look at his Dad. The words poured out of him. “I don’t know. I miss Mercedes
and my girls and I would love to go to New York and I worry that if I don’t go
back, things will revert back to normal at McKinley. I don’t want other kids to
have to go through what I did just because I was afraid. On the other hand, I
would miss Spencer and Blaine terribly as well as my new friends at Dalton. I
just don’t know, really.”
“How much of this is about going to New York? And don’t lie to me.”
Kurt dropped his gaze. “A lot. I really, really want to go.”
Now it was his Dad’s turn to sigh. “Kurt, I have accepted that you will be
leaving me and Lima; that there is nothing for you here, but there is no reason
to rush to New York now. It will still be waiting for you in a year. And I
promise I won’t do anything to deter you from going. I will do everything to
help you realize your dreams.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Kurt replied in a choked up voice. Taking a deep breath, Kurt
brought up one of his other concerns. “If I do decide to return to McKinley,
what happens to my Dalton tuition?”
“That’s lost, kiddo. It’s too late in the semester to get any of it back.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. Still, the decision is yours. I trust you to do what’s best. Just let me
know what you decide.”
Kurt nodded and they both got out of the truck. Kurt hadn’t noticed, but
Spencer’s car was parked on the street. Spencer got out and walked slowly
towards Kurt. Kurt’s Dad looked between them and said, “I’ll meet you inside.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
When Spencer reached Kurt, he hugged him tight. “Sorry I’ve been such a pain. I
know what this could mean for you and I should have supported you from the
start.”
Whispering into Spencer’s shoulder, Kurt answered, “No, I’m the one who’s
sorry. I’ve been selfish and only thinking about what this could mean for me
and not what it would do to us.”
They broke apart and Spencer put his hands on his hips, but looked down at the
ground. He looked nervous. “I’ll be there for you either way, but have you
decided?”
Sighing, Kurt shook his head. “I really haven’t. Come inside and hear the pros
and cons for me? I could really use some more advice.”
“Love to.”
Kurt took hold of Spencer’s hand and led him up to his bedroom. They talked
until dinner-time and although they mostly talked in circles, Kurt felt the
decision taking root in the back of his mind. It was the main topic of
discussion at dinner and everyone was quick to offer their opinions while still
insisting it was Kurt’s choice. Kurt appreciated the confidence but in some
ways wished he was a little kid who was told what to do. Spencer had to leave
after dinner, so Kurt walked him out.
The sun was setting, painting Spencer’s hair auburn with fiery highlights. He
looked beautiful and Kurt’s breath caught. Spencer said, “Call me when you
decide, no matter the time.”
Everything clicked for Kurt in that moment. In a bit of a daze, he said, “I
have decided.”
Looking nervous, Spencer took his hand and after a big breath, said, “Tell me.”
Squeezing Spencer’s hand, Kurt cupped his face with his other hand. “New York
will still be there next year. I don’t want to miss you every day or my Dad to
waste his money. It makes more sense to go back at the beginning of the year.
That way we save on tuition money next year and you and I get a little more
time together. Hopefully the anti-bullying tactics will still be working then.”
Kurt could see Spencer was blinking back tears despite his wide smile. Using
their held hands, he pulled Spencer close and hugged him. “Come here, you. I
would miss you so much, you have no idea.”
“Me too. And I think you made the best decision, even though I’ll miss you next
year.”
Kurt felt his own tears pricking his eyes. He blinked furiously and said, “You
don’t even know where you’ll be next year.”
“I know.” They smiled watery smiles at each other and then laughed lightly.
Spencer said, “I should go. My parents will begin to worry. I love you.”
“I love you too.” Kurt watched Spencer drive away feeling at peace for the
first time since he got the call from his Dad. He knew he had made the right
decision too.
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