Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/ works/761132. Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: Underage Category: M/M Fandom: Glee Additional Tags: D/s, BDSM, Alternate_Universe_-_BDSM Series: Part 2 of Unwanted Stats: Published: 2013-04-14 Words: 32256 ****** 525,600 Minutes ****** by portraitofemmy Summary A year in the life of Kurt and Blaine. Notes I desperately need to thank a couple people here, so hang in there with me. Namely, I need to thank i_should_study and becauseofthelayersmyass for walking me through this and holding my hand when I couldn’t find my words. Finally, I need to thank EVERY SINGLE PERSON who’s commented, liked, reblogged, shared or messaged me about this ‘verse. This story would have died halfway through the first fic if not for you. THANK YOU from the very bottom of my heart for encouraging me and for reading my fic. How do you measure a year in the life? Late nights Nights were weird for Blaine. It had been easy to fall in love with the city during the day. There was always something to do, somewhere to be, so many things happening at once. Dalton took up his weekdays, and Kurt took up his weekends. During the day, Blaine could distract himself with school, with meeting people and making friends, or letting Kurt take him by the hand and lead him through the wonders of a new life. But nights were harder. For the first couple weeks, Kurt made sure he was always home when Blaine got back from school. It was nice, to settled down on the couch of the loft and do homework while Kurt worked on sketches at his desk. It was nice too, to curl up in front of the couch on his knees at Kurt’s feet, and let his Dom stroke his hair while Kurt read or answered emails on his laptop. It was new, simple submission, something entirely not sexual, but it grounded him. It was an easy pattern to fall into, another part of learning to be together. But nights where hard, and sometimes Blaine still got that itch, like he didn’t belong here, like he wouldn’t be able to do this. He was learning to deal with it, slowly learning how to approach Kurt when he didn’t feel alright in his skin. Then Kurt would hold him, or help him slip under where the voices telling him he wasn’t good enough couldn’t reach. Inevitably, though, Kurt had a crisis at work. It was really impressive they’d made it this long, to be honest, but when Blaine’s cell buzzed in his pocket on his way to glee club rehearsal (an all boys a cappella group, The Warblers, couldn’t be more different from the New Directions) it still made his heart drop. Kurt’s frantic voice on the other end of the line, saying something about improper storage and a ruined fabric and needing to re-do half the collection tonight, snapped him out of it. Kurt sounded upset, panicked, like he was losing control. Blaine’s instinct as a sub was just to give, give Kurt as much control as he could, make his Dom feel better. He assured Kurt it was fine, he’d handled nights on his own before (in Ohio, not New York, but I’ll be fine,Kurt, I promise). Kurt apologized again and again, until finally Blaine laughed at him and told him to go fix his trousers already. He must have been acting weird though, try as he might to suppress thewrong settling into his chest, because one of the other Warblers approached him after practice. Blaine couldn’t help but eye the boy wearily, they’d never really spoken. He was fellow first tenor, and he didn’t feel quite as intimidating to Blaine as most of the Doms at Dalton still did, but he couldn’t read him for sure. Still, he was surprised when the other boy clapped a hand on his shoulder and asked in a worried voice if everything was alright. “My-my Dom’s just going to be home late, that’s all, it’s nothing,” Blaine stammered, and the boy smile. “I figured it was something like that. My name’s Kyle.” He held his hand out for Blaine to shake, and Blaine took it, noting the thin silver band around the other boy’s wrist. Claim marker “You should come to the Sub Club tonight.” Blaine blinked. “Sub Club?” Kyle shrugged, grinning. “Stupid name, I know. At least it’s concise. The Dom’s here have the Domination Organization, and isn’t that a mouthful?” “Do they actually call it that?” Blaine asked, allowing Kyle to lead him out of the room. “Some do. Some call it the Dom Orgy, but I think a lot of them feel that gives the wrong impression.” Blaine laughed, startled. He liked Kyle, he realized. The other boy seemed settled, collected in himself, with the kind of calm Blaine had always assumed you got once you were claimed. He couldn’t help but marvel at it. He also couldn’t help but wonder why he was still chasing it. “You’re getting lost in your head,” Kyle said genially, bumping his shoulder against Blaine’s. Blaine flushed, embarrassed. He shouldn’t be this unsettled by Kurt having to stay late at work one night. “You’re new to your claim, right?” Kyle asked, and Blaine nodded, wondering how he knew. “It’s normal to feel weird at first, when you’re separated from them, especially at night. Night’s the time our bodies associate with intimacy. That’s why we’ve got Sub Club. We help distract each other. A bunch of the straight guys who board here can only see their Doms on weekends. I go because my boyfriend is stuck at soccer practice until 11 some nights, but all subs are welcome.” Blaine slowed down as they approached his locker, unsure. But just Kyle stopped next to him, leaning against the neighboring locker as Blaine opened his and fished out his homework. “I don’t think I could go tonight,” Blaine muttered, watching as Kyle shrugged. It was a nice offer, but all Blaine really wanted to do right now was go home and surround himself with Kurt. Absently, his hand drifted to his wrist, fingers playing with the cuff. So you’ll always know you’re wanted. Kyle smiled, catching the movement. “You’re welcome any time. It wasn’t a one time offer.” “Thanks,” Blaine said softly. Kyle smile easily and started to turn away, but Blaine asked quickly “How long have you been claimed?” The other boy smiled easily. “Three years. Since my first Sickness. He was my best friend, it was supposed to be temporary...until it wasn’t.” Nervously, Blaine slid his thumb under his cuff, mimicking the motion Kurt often used to calm him. “Does it get easier? Being claimed?” He asked softly. Kyle titled his head, a thoughtful look on his face. “It was never hard for me. But for people who are claimed late, yeah, I think it does.” Blaine nodded, turning to look back into his locker. Claimed late, unwanted, no, stop, Kurt. “Hey, give me your phone,” Kyle said, suddenly. Startled out of the beginning of his spiral, Blaine dug in his pocket for his cell, handing it off to the other boy. Kyle punched in his number and handed it back. “Maybe the whole club is too much right now, but... text me. If things go south tonight. And text your Dom. Whatever he’s doing, I’m sure he won’t mind hearing from you.” “Thanks,” Blaine said, touched. No one at his other school had ever reached out to him like this. “Warblers stick together, man,” Kyle said with a grin. As Blaine watched him go, he could feel the knot in his chest loosen slightly. It was still weird, going home to an empty house. He’d been used to it, in Ohio, often his parents didn’t get home until quite late. But he was accustomed to Kurt’s presence now, and the lack of another person felt strange. It felt a little like being left alone in someone else’s apartment. 
Except this was home now. So he toed off his shoes, and went into their bedroom to change. Unlike other parts of the loft, this room felt like theirs. Blaine’s shoes mixed in with Kurt’s along the baseboard, Blaine’s skin care products lined up next to Kurt’s much more ample collection, Blaine’s cloths hanging in a dresser. (The closetswereall full, Kurt made clothes for a living, did you really think my closest wouldn’t be full, Blaine?) Blaine smiled, remembering that conversation. They’d built the IKEA wardrobe together, Kurt promising the entire time they’d eventually get him something nicer, and then Blaine had knelt down in front of it and begged to suck Kurt’s cock - he looked so good in work clothes, all ready to get dirty. No, this room felt like home. He took a quick shower, just to wash the gel out of his hair. Slipping on sweatpants and, after a brief moment of hesitation, one of Kurt’s oversized sweaters which he grabbed out of the laundry, Blaine settled down in the middle of their bed to do homework. He was barely halfway through his Pre-Cal when his phone buzzed with a text from Kyle. It was throw away comment, something about couches at Dalton being either too soft or too hard, but the gesture touched Blaine in a way he didn’t expect. His phone went off intermittently throughout the night, carrying on a shallow conversation with Kyle about Warblers songs mixed in with frustrated texts from Kurt about the current fashion disaster happening in his office. By the time he curled up with his English novel, warm from the sweater and surrounded by the smell of Kurt, he almost forgot he’d been nervous about the night at all. He must have drifted to sleep at some point, curled around his phone in the middle of their big bed, because when he blinked his eyes open next, darkness had descended in the loft. Dully, he was aware of a hand stroking his hair, and he rolled his head into it without thinking. Kurt’s laughter greeted this action, and Blaine couldn’t help but smile. “Did you fix your pants crisis?” He asked sleepily, smiling when Kurt laughed again. “I did. Because I’m amazing.” “Mhm,” Blaine agreed, rolling over until he could press his face into Kurt’s leg where he was sitting on the bed. Kurt’s fingers scratched deliberately through his hair, and Blaine could feel the day’s tension leak out of his body. Still warm and soft from sleep, he rolled over lazily, neck and stomach on display. Submitting to you is so easy he thought absently, floating a little as Kurt bent down to kiss the pulse point on his neck. He felt a thrill run through him,yours, but Kurt pulled away. “Have you eaten, Beautiful?” Blaine shook his head, surprised at himself for falling asleep without dinner. Kurt hummed thoughtfully, “I thought so. Kitchen was too clean for you to have cooked anything.” He made a face at that, wriggling away from Kurt in protest at the gentle ribbing. Kurt just snickered, scooping his arms around Blaine’s waist and rolling him off the bed. Blaine shrieked with laughter, catching himself on his hands before he hit the floor. Twisting around, he could see Kurt looking at him from the bed, eyes full of affection, and it made Blaine’s pulse race. Shyly, he reached out to touch his cuffed wrist against Kurt’s leg, an offering. Kurt took the offer, sliding his fingers under the cuff to settle against Blaine’s pulse. It was a simple act, a reminder of Kurt’s ownership, but it made Blaine want to curl up on his knees and give. Sliding off the bed, Kurt took Blaine’s hand, pulling him up off the floor and out into the kitchen. They settled on re-heating left over Thai food, Kurt too tired to cook and Blaine so content to stand there wrapped in Kurt’s arms that he didn’t really care what they ate. “Did you have a good night?” Kurt asked softly, lips pressed against Blaine’s hair. “I did,” Blaine admitted, melting into Kurt. “I made a friend a school, I think. We texted on and off.” He could feel Kurt’s smile. “That’s great, Beautiful. I’m so happy for you.” “Mhm. I’m glad you’re home though.” “Me too,” Kurt assured him. “It was nice to come home to that, you all sleepy warm and sweet in bed. Wearing my clothes, I noticed.” “Just the sweater. It smelled like you.” They curled up on the floor of the living room after that, with late night tv and reheated curry. Kurt passed some time mocking the ridiculousness that was reality tv, but Blaine was too close to the edge, too close to being under, to do much besides curled up in Kurt’s arms and feel grateful. Dishes were cleared away eventually, and then Kurt took Blaine back to their bedroom and stripped him of everything but his cuff. He pressed apologies for being late and praises for being strong into Blaine’s skin, then rolled him over and pressed them together until there was no space between them anymore. The release came easily, slipping out of his brain, slipping under for Kurt. It felt like coming home. Nights got easier after that. (Not easy, by any means, but better, an uphill climb, he’d get there some day.) Kurt still tried to be home when Blaine got out of school, but Blaine knew he needed to stay at the office more than he’d like to or felt he should, and Blaine didn’t mind as much anymore. Some nights he’d go to Sub Club, and nurture his growing friendships with Kyle and a couple of the other subs from Dalton. Being friends with Doms was still hard, he was still too skittish, but this was a good place to start finding a life of his own, to complement what he had with Kurt. Some other nights, he’d go back by himself. If he was feeling adventurous, he’d cook something for Kurt to come home too, a treat since Kurt usually cooked. He had varying degrees of success with cooking in general, but Kurt always seemed to appreciate the effort.     It was still hard to be alone, sometimes. As the school year drew to a close and summer loomed, he knew he’d be faced with a lot more alone time to come. As much as Kurt could try to work from home, he still had a life. Blaine didn’t want to tie him to the loft, didn’t want to feel like a kid who needed babysitting. Hopefully before summer started he’d manage to make some real friends a Dalton, boys who lived close enough not to board and who he could spend free time with over the summer. Also, there was Cooper. His brother was here, and though Blaine didn’t want to spend all his time with a self proclaimed TV star, Cooper would be there for him if he got lonely. And so would Kurt, who Blaine knew would drop everything if Blaine really needed him. So nights alone were still weird sometimes, but Blaine was discovering it was nice to be the person someone came home to. It was really nice to be the person Kurt came home to. It made him feel precious and loved, the way Kurt would wrap him up after a late night, hold him like knowing he had Blaine to come home to was the only thing that got him through the day. And maybe it was. Sometimes he’d think about what Carole had said to him, about Kurt needing to be taken care of too. Maybe this was part of being a sub, a part he’d never really thought of before. So much emphasis was put on obedience, both by the media and by sex ed classes in school, that Blaine had always assumed that was what being a sub meant. He was learning now, though, that it was as much about giving stability as giving obedience. So he’d be there when Kurt got home late, be there to be held, to listen when Kurt needed to talk, and to talk when Kurt needed not to. He was learning the ways he could care for his Dom in return, and if it took late nights to teach him that, well. Blaine could deal with them. -- Bad Days Blaine still had bad days. Kurt knew he did. Yet, as the summer progressed, they were becoming fewer and further between.  Summer granted Blaine a new kind of independence, and he took to it better than either of them had anticipated. Kurt didn’t think he’d get to watch Blaine grow up as much as he did that summer ever again. He only wished, longingly, that he could be around to see more of it. But he couldn’t. Kurt was a busy man who owned a company that was expanding more rapidly with each month. He couldn’t spend each day by Blaine’s side, watching him explore New York City, no matter how much he wanted to. It helped that Blaine shared it with him so readily. He’d spend his evenings in wide-eyed excitement, telling Kurt about the places he’d explored with a couple fellow subs from Dalton, or the afternoon he passed in a little cafe writing music. Blaine was blossoming, coming alive in the city, just like Kurt had known he would. He had been worried, initially, about how Blaine would handle the extended periods of alone time once school stopped for the year. But he seemed to balance his time quite well. Sometimes he’d come in to work with Kurt, curling up happily in a chair in the corner of Kurt’s office with a guitar and a teach- yourself-cords book. (I wanna write music, Blaine had said as he longingly trailed his fingers over the deep honey toned wood of a guitarhanging from a shop wall.Piano is great, but... I’ve always wanted to learn. And really, what was the point of Kurt’s money if he couldn’t spoil his sub now and then?) Sometimes he’d spend the day out, with friends of his from Dalton. Most of them were local kids from wealthy families, un-claimed subs or boys in temporary claims with other kids their ages. They seemed to welcome Blaine, though, and Kurt was grateful to know Blaine had a chance to spend time with people his own age. It was these boys who dragged Blaine into a local youth center production of Grease. He’d told Kurt about it with such wide-eyed excitement, it had made Kurt’s heart leap. Nothing was better, Kurt was discovering, than feeling you sub’s happiness and excitement radiate off him like a physical force. Blaine had landed the part of Teen Angel, had a song all to himself, subs in Ohio never got parts like this he’d explained excitedly to Kurt. (Kurt remembered. He remembered watching Mike Chang and other subs from his high school days get passed over time and time again because people thought they didn’t have the strength to carry a part. He remembered hating it, vowing never to be one of those people.) So the summer went on and Blaine channeled his time into Beauty School Drop-out rehearsals, and learning guitar, and finding new places in the city to show Kurt. (like it was some sort of game, could he find somewhere to go where Kurt had never been?) It was nothing like what Kurt had always thought having a sub would be, and it was exactly what he wanted for the rest of his life. Hearing Blaine talk about the excitement and challenges of his life, of having Blaine share those things with Kurt, made Kurt more proud than anything he’d accomplished himself. They had time for themselves too, of course. Nights and weekends, whenever Kurt could afford not to be at work he was with Blaine. They’d go out together, to see plays, visit art galleries, or listen to symphonies that Kurt would never have appreciated half as much without Blaine sitting next to him with wide-eyed wonder. “You’re so good to me,” Blaine whispered in awe one night, tucked in warm and close to Kurt’s side as they waited in line for their dinner reservation at a restaurant in Little Italy. “You spoil me so much.” “Only the best for you,” Kurt murmured fondly, kissing Blaine’s temple where his curls were falling loose. There was a slow, possessive curl of pride wrapping itself around his stomach at getting to hold Blaine like this, out in public where everyone would know he was Kurt’s. It made him feel lazy and affectionate, holding Blaine close, eyes flicking lazily to catch the other Dom’s who might look at his boy. Mine. “You know I don’t need it, right?” Blaine asked softly. He turned a little, propping his chin up on Kurt’s shoulder, blinking up at him with happy, honey eyes. “All of this - It’s not important. Just you. Having you. That’s enough for me.” Kurt’s heart throbbed dully, he wondered if Blaine would ever stop making him feel so much. “I like being able to share things with you. I know you don’t need it, but... It makes me happy to be able to give it.” “I like making you happy,” Blaine said softly, resting his head against Kurt’s neck. Dinner that night was good, the restaurant quietly elegant and the food was delicious. The clientele was mostly couples, which lent itself to a quiet, romantic atmosphere. Or at least it did, until about halfway through their entree. It took Kurt a couple minutes to realize what was going on. He was too focused on the story he’d been telling about one of his interns, he didn’t notice the sounds floating across the space of the open dining area. He did notice Blaine stiffen, though, the way his shoulders pulled tight and his back straightened up. He could almost feel the waves of anxiety rolling off his sub. It made him sit up and take notice, ready to ask what was wrong, when he finally tuned in to the sound of yelling. “You stupid bitch, now I’m going to have to pay for that! Goddamn whore, can’t do anything right, why do I even keep you-” It was easy to locate the source of the commotion. A couple of tables away from them, a women about Kurt’s age was on her knees, frantically picking up shards of a broken glass while a man towered over her. Her Dom, presumably, but that didn’t make the prickle of wrongness crawling up Kurt’s spine go away. The wait staff from the restaurant was circling around her, but she remained on her knees among the broken crystal wear. “Stupid goddamn hoe!” The man yelled, and Kurt could see the way Blaine flinched from the voice like it were a physical force. Protect, Kurt’s instincts screamed, and he reached across the table to take Blaine’s hand. “Are you alright?” He asked urgently, ready to flag down a manager to make the man leave. “I’m fine,” Blaine said softly, but his eyes remained fixed on his plate, his hand unresponsive in Kurt’s. “Be honest with me. Are you okay, Beautiful?” “I’m fine,” Blaine repeated, his posture closing off more and more as the man kept yelling. The lie prickled uncomfortably across Kurt’s skin, the disobedience sitting unpleasant in his stomach, but he knew Blaine. He knew the need to be composed, to make himself invulnerable, was stronger than his urge to obey right now. “They’re leaving, it’s fine,” Kurt reassured, watching as the man and his cowering sub were escorted out of the restaurant. “Do you need to leave? Tell me what you need.” “I’m fine,” Blaine repeated again, and it prickled along Kurt’s skin. He didn’t know what to do. Disobedience born out of stubbornness he could deal with. Disobedience born out of fear and self-protection? He had no idea what to do. “We’ll take the rest to go, okay?” Kurt decided, waving his hand to flag down a waiter. Blaine just folded his hands in his lap, head bowed down. This is wrong, Kurt could feel it instinctively. Something was wrong, his sub was hurt, he needed to fix it and didn’t know how. It took the cab ride back to decided to give Blaine his space. He’d learned to come to Kurt if he needed him, Kurt would just have to trust in that. Blaine stayed quiet, drawn in on himself on the opposite side of the bench seat all the way back to the loft. It was such a stark contrast from the affectionate, tactile behavior from earlier in the evening that it only served to highlight Blaine’s discomfort. Let him come to you Kurt reminded himself once they were home, pressing a soft kiss to Blaine’s temple before walking off to settle at his sketch desk. It took less time that he expected, almost no time at all, until he felt a gentle push against his leg. He looked down to find Blaine on his knees, hands clasped in his lap, pushing his forehead against Kurt’s leg. He reached down, ready to tangle his fingers in Blaine’s hair and give comfort, only to have Blaine jerk away with a small whine. Confused, Kurt asked “What do you need, Beautiful?” Blaine was quiet for a minute, eyes closed with his head resting on Kurt’s thigh. Then he spoke in a weak voice. “Punish me?” Kurt’s heart throbbed in his chest. He didn’t want to punish Blaine, he wanted to hold him, sooth away his hurt and make him alright again. “Why?” Blaine just whined again, a pained look crossing his face. “Please, Sir. Please.” And just like that, it was like it could never had been any other way. The purpose and control of domination flooded through Kurt, and he knew what to do. He settled his hand in Blaine’s hair, fisting the curls not in a rewarding in stroke, but using them to tip his head back. “Take off your clothes. I’m going to get something from our room, be naked and silent when I get back.” He stood up from his desk, ignoring the motion of Blaine standing to remove his clothes. From their bedroom he collected a simple pair of leather cuffs and a short chain to connect them. He stripped off his own vest and shirt, and quickly changed from dress slacks into a comfortable pair of yoga pants and soft heather-gray Henley. He didn’t know how long what he had in mind would last, and he might as well be comfortable. Blaine was standing naked in the middle of the room when he got back, hands clasped in front of himself like a shield. That told Kurt everything he needed to know about how present Blaine was in his body. Purposefully, careful not to be too rough or too gentle, Kurt curled his hand around Blaine’s bicep and lead him to an empty corner of the loft. Balancing the cuffs in the crook of his own elbow, Kurt placed his hands on Blaine’s shoulders, using them to position Blaine how he wanted. Then he slowly dragged his hands down the naked skin, appreciating the way he could feel muscle flexing underneath, and guided Blaine’s arms behind his back to cross at the wrists. Without speaking, he fastened the cuffs around Blaine’s wrists, the thick black leather completely covering the smaller brown claim marker that always lay against Blaine’s skin. He secured the short chain between them, making sure Blaine wouldn’t be able to pull free, before placing both of his hands gently on Blaine’s shoulder blades. “You’re going to stand here, quietly. You’ve done something wrong, and you need to think about it. Don’t move, don’t turn around, don’t speak until you can tell me what you’ve done wrong. You’re going to stand here until you understand why you’re being punished. I’m going to be sitting on the couch. I won’t leave you here alone, I promise, I won’t even leave the room. Do you understand? Answer yes or no.” “Yes,” Blaine said softly, long eyelashes fluttering slightly as his eyes slipped closed. “Good. Tell me when you know what you’ve done wrong.” With that, Kurt pulled away, the palms of his hands feeling cold from where they’d been resting against Blaine’s warm flesh. He grabbed a magazine, which would make enough noise that Blaine would be able to hear his presence, and settled down on the couch nearby to wait. Patience, which might have alluded him at another time, came easily to Kurt now. The calm and purpose of being dominate, of channeling the urge to control, settled into his skin. He was built for this. He could feel the tension emanating from Blaine, could practically hear the gears turning in his sub’s head. There were several ways this could go, though he suspected he knew the most likely. Blaine’s voice was quiet when he finally spoke. “Please, Sir.” Rising from the couch, Kurt walked over to Blaine. The urge to touch surged through him, but he tamped down on it, instead tucking his fingers under the cuffs binding Blaine’s wrists. He could feel Blaine’s pulse fluttering wildly against his fingertips. So alive. “What have you done wrong?” He asked. “I ruined the evening. We had to leave, because of me,” Blaine said immediately, and ahh. Kurt was right. This was going to take a while. “No,” Kurt said simply. He pressed one hand to the center of Blaine’s back, between his shoulder blades. “You will never be punished for having needs, physical or emotional. Think some more, then tell me again.” He could feel some of the tension leak out of Blaine’s body before he pulled his hands away, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself. Just because he had fewer bad days now didn’t mean Blaine didn’t need to be reminded sometimes that he mattered. There was a deeper issue here, and Kurt was glad he’d caught it. Glad Blaine had known enough to ask for this. Kurt returned to the couch, settling back down with his magazine. The feeling of agitation had settled somewhat from Blaine now, and Kurt could tell he was really thinking now. Maybe the answer this time wouldn’t be driven by the voice that tells Blaine he’s good enough. “Please, Sir.” Crossing the room to Blaine felt like being pulled by a magnet. His fingers hooked under Blaine’s cuff like they belonged there. “What have you done wrong?” Blaine’s voice was shakier, this time, like he was afraid of the answer he’d get in return. “I was weak. I couldn’t handle seeing-” “No,” Kurt cut him off quickly. He couldn’t even let him finish. Reaching up with both hands, he splayed his palms across the breadth of Blaine’s back. “You will never be punished for hurting, Beautiful. Never. It’s my place to heal those hurts, not to punish them for existing. Do you understand?” “Yes, Sir.” Blaine’s entire body seemed to slump, shoulders and head dropping foreword like a cord had been cut. A part of Kurt, the part that ached whenever Blaine was upset, wanted to curl him in close and hold him until that hurt went away. But that wasn’t what he needed. “Think some more. Tell me when you understand what you’ve done wrong.” Pulling away from Blaine this time was hard. The air-conditioned cold of the loft seemed to settle into Kurt’s skin, and he couldn’t stop the nagging edge of worry. He didn’t allow himself to get absorbed in his magazine again, too focused on Blaine and the fact that he’d been standing naked in the chilled air for about an hour. The discomfort was part of the point, it was what made the punishment after all, but Kurt didn’t want to push Blaine so far that he was unable to focus because of it. Kurt was just starting to worry that maybe Blaine wouldn’t get there on his own, that Kurt would have to step in, when a third, almost inaudible “Please, Sir,” drifted across the room. Blaine’s skin was cool to the touch, even in the snug space behind the cuffs. Up this close, Kurt could see the small tremors of shivers raking through Blaine’s body. “What have you done wrong?” “I-I wasn’t honest,” Blaine stuttered. “I lied when you asked me if I was okay. I didn’t tell you what I needed or let you take care of me.” “Yes,” Kurt breathed, relieved. He stepped forward to wrap his arms around Blaine. His sub seemed to sink back into him, cool skin pressing into Kurt’s body, crossed wrists snug against Kurt’s stomach. “My top priority will always be your safety, Beautiful. Even if that means taking you away so some asshole in a restaurant can’t trigger the things that make you think you’re bad, or weak. I need to know you understand that.” “I do.” “Good.” Kurt started to pulled away, startled by Blaine’s small whimper as Kurt let him go. “I’m just going to unhook your cuffs, sweetheart.” The leather peeled away from Blaine’s skin, and then his arms were falling limply to his sides. Kurt reached out, turn Blaine to face him. He looked exhausted. Exhausted and cold. “You were so good for me, Beautiful. You did exactly what I asked you to do. You’re such a good boy, taking your punishment like that.” He could see the pleasure on Blaine’s face at that praise, and it made Kurt’s heart swell. Blaine still looked blissed out, like he was toeing the edge of going under. “I’m going to run us a warm bath, and then I’m going to take care of you. Okay, Beautiful?” “Yes, sir.” He pulled Blaine with him into the bathroom, settling him down on the toilet seat while Kurt set about drawing a bath. Nothing too fancy, he mused to himself, now wasn’t the time for scented oils or bubbles. Just warm water, and plenty of it. He stripped down quickly, glad he’d thought to change into clothes he didn’t mind leaving sitting on the floor. Once the tub was full, he reached out for Blaine, pulling him towards the water. Some of the awareness was returning to Blaine’s face now, too long without any commands or touch to keep him under, and Kurt wanted to fix that as soon as possible. He guided Blaine into the tub, then slipped in behind him before he came to rest completely. Guiding with hands and murmured commands, Kurt settled Blaine between his legs, back against his chest, arms wrapping around his sub completely. Blaine sighed, softly, head tipping back against Kurt’s shoulder. Smiling, Kurt pressed a kiss against Blaine’s temple. “Good boy.” He let his hands drift aimlessly for a while, caressing Blaine’s skin in mindless looping patterns while he warmed up. Blaine was hard, Kurt could see it through the water, but he seemed relaxed in the way he got when arousal was secondary to submission. Curiously, Kurt drew his hand up to drag across Blaine’s nipples, just to see how much of a reaction he could pull from him. Blaine groaned, head rolling a little bit against Kurt’s shoulders, but he didn’t move otherwise. Lazily, Kurt slid his hand down Blaine’s body to curl around his beautiful cock. “You’ve been so good for me tonight, Beautiful. You took your punishment so well. You can come whenever you need to.” Kurt kept his strokes lazy, rhythmic but not fast, loving the small sounds that fell from Blaine’s mouth like he just couldn’t help himself. Reading Blaine was so easy now, he knew when the unhurried strokes started to edge from pleasurable to frustrating, and sped up accordingly. The point wasn’t to draw it out tonight. He just wanted to make Blaine feel good. “Please, Sir, can I come?” Blaine asked softly, and it sent a hot wave through Kurt’s body, Blaine asking even though he’d already been given permission. Like it was instinctual, and god, it was. Blaine was such a good sub, and he didn’t even know it. “Come, Beautiful, come for me.” The arch of Blaine’s spine, the cry that fell from his lips, all made Kurt shudder in sympathy as Blaine’s hips fucked up in little circles, riding out the orgasm. Kurt was hard, pressed against the small of Blaine’s back, needed to get off so badly. All it took was Blaine grinding back, begging with a whimper “You too, Sir, please,” and Kurt was coming, arms tightening around Blaine to hold him close as pleasure expanded throughout Kurt’s body. They lay together, slumped in dirty bath water, shivering through the tingling aftershocks of orgasm. Blaine shuffled around a little until he was curled up with his side against Kurt’s chest, knees drawn up tight to his body and head against Kurt’s neck. It didn’t look particularly comfortable, but it allowed Kurt to hold him more fully, and maybe that was what he needed right now. “Thank you,” Blaine spoke softly, one of his fingers tracing aimless across Kurt’s chest. “Creative punishment, by the way, that was... That was perfect. Exactly what I needed.” “I know,” Kurt agreed, smiling into Blaine’s hair when his sub snorted. “Thank you for telling me you needed it.” Blaine nodded. “I’m sorry. For how I acted earlier.” “It’s done,” Kurt said simply. “You’ve taken the punishment, the slate is clean.” “Yeah.” Blaine sounded meditative, and Kurt could tell there was something on his mind. He waited it out, holding on until Blaine started talking. “It just... threw me, you know? I remember when people treated me like that, not that long ago. It’s not like I’m worried that you will. I’m not, and I need to know you know that.” “I do,” Kurt reassured him, rubbing his hand between Blaine’s shoulders until the remaining tension leaked out of his body. “I know you still have triggers and that they don’t reflect on me.” “Okay,” Blaine murmured, “I love you.” “I love you too, sweetheart.” Kurt returned, and he could feel Blaine’s eyes flutter shut against collar bones. “Come on, we’re not sleeping in here,” he insisted, and was met with Blaine’s laughter. It was a wonderful sound. They rinsed off quickly, and Kurt allowed himself the luxury of toweling Blaine off himself, enjoying the way it made his sub giggle and blush. He bundled Blaine up into warm soft cotton pajamas then, still overly conscious of the long exposure to cold. He left his own shirt off at Blaine’s request, and Blaine snuggled down happily against his bare chest when they crawled into bed. Blaine’s breathing evened out quickly, a soft rush across his chest, and Kurt let it lull him. As he drifted to sleep, he spared a moment to be grateful that bad days could end with good nights. -- Collars Dalton required ties. Blaine had gotten used to them last year, in the month he’d spent there, but summer had spoiled him. Long days of bowties or no ties, sprawled out in Kurt’s office, or dressed as a greaser at the youth center. At home, at night, he didn’t usually bother with more than a t-shirt, sometimes a sweater if they wanted to crank up the AC. It had been months since he’d worn a tie. But the new school year was approaching quickly. Senior year, his last year of high school. In some ways it couldn’t come soon enough. He didn’t really feel like a high schooler anymore, not entirely. Even during the summer he’d spent with some of the guys from Dalton, he’d felt different than them. They had curfews and parents to answer too, where as Blaine had as much autonomy as Kurt could give him. He came home for dinner every night with Kurt because he wanted too, not because he had too. The world of high school felt petty, somehow, when he had this real, adult life outside of school. He stopped to get groceries on the way home as often as Kurt did, he’d balance their shared bank account if Kurt was too busy with work, he’d gently reminded his Dom that if Kurt kept forgetting to paying the utilities bill they would regret it very soon. The reality of being one half of an adult couple made the discussions of which Dom from the lacrosse team was hooking up with which pretty sub from the sister school seem very inconsequential. Blaine sighed, fingering his school tie as he sank to sit on the bed. It wasn’t that he didn’t have friends a Dalton. He did. He had Kyle and Nick and Jeff, even Trent, who was a little bit of a scary Dom at first, but turned out to be the biggest softy ever. He was Blaine’s first Dom friend, and he knew it, was careful to respect personal space and read Blaine’s physical cues. Blaine liked those guys, he really did. But he also liked Kurt’s friends. He liked the girls from the office, who cooed whenever he came in with Kurt and made sly suggestive comments whenever he went home early with Kurt. He liked Rachel, who he knew Kurt would always love, even if they weren’t as close as they used to be. He liked the fashionistas at the parties Kurt went to, liked being on Kurt’s arm at those events. He just wasn’t ready to give up that life yet. It’s only one more year, he reminded himself. Then he’d be a college, at The American Musical Academy, or Tisch or maybe NYADA. But until then, he had ties and blazers and trying to keep track of the complicated internal politics of high school. At least he’d have Kurt tying his ties for him. He smiled, thinking about the feeling of Kurt’s fingers pulling the knot snug against the base of his throat. They usually got up at the same time on days when Blaine had school, unlike the summer when some days Blaine didn’t roll out of bed until 10. The first time Blaine had asked, shyly, if Kurt would tie his tie for him. It just became habit after that. “What are you thinking about?” Blaine started, glancing up to find Kurt watching him from the doorway. Kurt looked gorgeous as ever, long and lean as he rested against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest and an affectionate look on his face. “You,” Blaine answered honestly, setting the tie down next to him on the bed where the rest of his uniform was laid out. “I hope not,” Kurt said, brow creasing with worry. “You look melancholy.” Blaine laughed at that, easily letting the weight that had been settling on him roll off his shoulders as Kurt pushed off against the door frame and walked towards him. “I’m not ready to go back to school, I guess. This has been a good summer.” Kurt hummed softly, picking up the tie from the bed. “It’ll be a good year, too.” As he spoke, he looped the tie around Blaine’s neck, tugging the material tight enough that it pressed ever so slightly against Blaine’s skin. It made him shiver, tipping his head back automatically for Kurt. They both knew what this did to Blaine. His neck was one of the most vulnerable places on his body, one of the most sensitive. Instinct made him bare it to Kurt, one of the acts of submission that came easiest to him, but meant so much - and Kurt knew it. He’d rest his hand on Blaine’s neck sometimes, an unspoken claim, before sliding his fingers into Blaine’s hair. Blaine knew that one of the biggest signals for Kurt that he was feeling subby and needy, though not enough to ask for anything yet, was the way Blaine would bare his neck. Sometimes it’d be enough, but other time Kurt would just smile knowingly at him and do nothing. Blaine knew those times he’d have to work out a way to ask for what he wanted, other than just baring his neck for Kurt. Like he was doing now, head tipped back to expose the long column of his throat to his Dom. He couldn’t muster up the energy to be embarrassed about it, how worked up he could get just from Kurt wrapping some fabric around his throat. It probably had something to do with the heat in Kurt’s eyes, and Blaine shivered as Kurt leaned in to press kisses against his adam’s apple. “You’re going to have to get used to this, or we’re going to have to build another hour into our morning routine,” Kurt teased, pulling his head back. He did up the tie with quick, efficient fingers that spoke of years of practice. “Might be worth it,” Blaine muttered, still swimming a little in his own head. He looked down at his own chest, snickering a little at how the tie looked laying awkwardly over his bright green polo. “Ah, you say that now,” Kurt said with a smirk, shuffling forward until he could settle down on Blaine’s lap, thighs bracketing Blaine’s hips. Blaine looped his arms around Kurt’s waist automatically, looking up at his Dom from under his eyelashes. “You forget I’ve seen you in the mornings.” “Like I could ever forget waking up with you,” Blaine muttered softly, and Kurt laughed, but Blaine could see the pleased flush of his skin. “I want you,” he admitted softly, and after all these months it still felt strange to be able to ask. “Is- is that okay? Can we-” Kurt cut him off with a kiss, tangling his fingers in Blaine’s curls and using the grip to pull his head back. With Kurt in his lap like this, surrounding him, Blaine felt small. Kurt’s presence was everywhere, physically imposing and radiating dominance. It made Blaine want to give all of himself. They pulled apart, an obscene slick sound reverberated around the room as their mouths parted. “I’m going to take your clothes off, spread you out, and ride you. You’re going to say where I put you and you’re not going to say anything other than ‘yes Sir’ and ‘please’.”   Blaine whined a little, already aching to be spread, to show Kurt how good he could be. “Yes, Sir. Please, Sir.” That made Kurt laugh, and Blaine could see how bright his eyes were through the haze that was already descending in his brain. “Such a good boy for me,” he whispered, and Blaine moaned. “Let’s leave the tie on.” After that it was all spread limbs and the insane hotness of being inside Kurt. His arms were stretched up and to the side as far as they could go, but unrestrained, like a challenge. Could he keep them there on his own? He could. His legs, too, were similarly spread, laying spread-eagle on the bed. The position gave him no leverage at all, and he reveled in it. Kurt moved slowly, working himself on Blaine, chasing his own pleasure, hand curled around his dick. The other hand, he wrapped up in Blaine’s tie, keeping them connected, keeping the material snug against Blaine’s neck. (Not enough to block the air, Kurt would never spring that on him. Just enough to keep the tension. Just enough for Blaine to feel it) It all felt so good, being spread, being Kurt’s, being so clearly used for his Dom’s pleasure. Blaine was shivering with it, on fire with it, a loop of heat circling in his body from the tie around his neck to where he was slipping in and out Kurt’s body. Everything in existence was Kurt, and then there were moments of nothing at all, as he slipped out of his brain, his body able to take it and not need more than the taking, than being so good for Kurt. So good. Kurt was whispering that now, chanting as he rode. “So good, Beautiful. Don’t come, I know you can hold on for me. Let me keep you in me for a bit longer.” Abruptly, Blaine was aware of the ache in his balls, the tightness in his entire body, so close to the edge, hanging there. He moaned helplessly. “Please, sir. Please.” “No.” Kurt was smiling playfully now, loving this. He tugged gently on the tie, and Blaine gasped. “You’re being so good. You can hold on. I know you can.” The only thing Blaine could do was slip away again, to the place where nothing mattered but doing what Kurt said. He lost the passage of time, lost everything, until his body was to the point where he couldn’t, he just couldn’t- “Come on, come sweetheart. You can come, Beautiful.” The crest of pleasure was almost painful, muscles tightening with his balls, nipples, all of him seizing up as it bloomed through his body. A cry fell inhibited from his lips, and he could hear Kurt echo it, dimly aware of Kurt’s own come streaking his skin. He drifted for a bit after that, the aftershocks pinging through his body occasionally drawing out soft sounds. Dimly, he was aware of Kurt moving his stiff limbs back to his sides, rubbing away the ache in the muscles. Cool fingers loosened the tie around his neck, slipping the knot out and pulling the fabric free. The heat at his side disappear for a bit, but before he could work up the presence of mind to worry about it, Kurt was back, swiping a warm wet cloth across the come staining his skin. Then Kurt was pulling him in, rolling him close until he was tucked against Kurt’s body. He let it ground him, the smell of Kurt’s skin, the sound of his voice drawing Blaine back. Eventually he shifted a little, snuggling so he could wrap himself around Kurt in return, and he could feel Kurt’s smile. “Welcome back. You haven’t gone that hard in a while.” Blaine hummed a little, relishing the way Kurt’s hand swept through his curls. “It’s the neck thing. I told you.” Smiling, Kurt leaned down to press a kiss to the skin of Blaine’s neck, slightly reddened from the pressure of the tie. Blaine tipped his head back happily, and he could feel Kurt’s smile against his skin. “You still want that collar?” Kurt asked quietly, teasingly against his throat. He could feel the heat of the color rushing to his skin, and from his soft laughter, Blaine guessed Kurt could see it too. Still, he answered honestly, “Yes.” His Dom didn’t say anything in response, just leaned up to kiss him, and really, that was distraction enough. It didn’t come up again after that, for almost two weeks. Blaine went back to school, got back into the routine of rising early with Kurt. Kurt would shower first, leaving Blaine in their bed to wake up slowly. Blaine would shower while Kurt moisturized and dressed, emerging feeling marginally more human, and then he’d pull on his uniform. Kurt’s fingers against his throat as he did up Blaine’s tie felt like a promise and a gift of strength. It made Blaine feel loved, as did the cuff on his wrist. It was difficult to get back into the rhythm of only seeing each other at night, though. The independence of summer stayed with Blaine, and even though he didn’t mind being on his own as much any more, he found himself really missing Kurt. Kurt was more than just his Dom - he was Blaine’s best friend. It didn’t help that the pressure was wracking up on Kurt. The fall was a busy time for every consumer industry, everyone rushing to prepare for the holiday season, and fashion was no different. Fashion Night Out in September kicked off the busy period, and Kurt’s company was just large enough to feel the push. The combination of missing Kurt and wanting to help him relax lead Blaine to grabbing some take out and bringing it to it Kurt’s office one late Thursday night. The smile on Kurt’s face when he saw Blaine standing in his office doorway holding the take out bag was reward enough for the spontaneous action. “I love you,” Kurt said emphatically, dropping his pencil and beckoning Blaine into the room. “Uh huh,” Blaine teased, setting the bag of Chinese food on Kurt’s desk. “Only because I bring you food.” “Clearly,” Kurt responded dryly, reaching across the desk the snag Blaine’s tie and pulling him in for a kiss. Blaine went easily, shivering happily as Kurt licked at his lips then pulled away. “Come on, I’m hungry.” Blaine laughed, shaking his head and dropping down into the seat across from Kurt’s desk. “Just don’t eat all the cashew chicken.” Kurt stuck his tongue out, but Blaine could see the happiness shining in his eyes. It sunk down Blaine’s spine, a silent good boy, you did well. “So what brought all of this on?” Kurt asked curiously, pulling boxes out of the bag. Shrugging, Blaine grabbed a set of chopsticks, and the carton closest to him. “I don’t know, I just miss you.” “Aw, I miss you too,” Kurt agreed, pouting playfully. “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy.” Blaine shrugged it off easily, leaning forward to steal a piece of chicken from the carton in Kurt’s hands. “Don’t worry about it. I just wanted to see you.” “I’d been thinking actually,” Kurt started, setting the carton back down on the desk untouched. “This weekend, we should do something, just us.” “I like the sound of that,” Blaine agreed, smirking. Kurt shook his head, rolling his eyes affectionately, and Blaine giggled. He could tell, though, Kurt had something on his mind, something serious to talk about. Blaine put his own carton down, focusing on Kurt. “Did you have something in mind?” “Yes. I was thinking maybe we could go looking for a collar for you.” Blaine’s heart skipped in his chest, then beat double time to make up for it. “Ye-yeah. We could do that,” he stuttered. The smile that spread across Kurt’s face was knowing. “Maybe it was cruel of me to spring that on you. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. And I’m ready for it, if you are.” “I think I am. Iam,” Blaine rushed to reassure. “Please, Kurt.” Kurt laughed, reaching out and catching Blaine’s hand across the desk. It helped ground him, keep his head from spinning out of control as he sat there, unable to stop imagining the feeling of something (nylon, silk, rope, leather) pushing at his throat. Marking him as Kurt’s, just for them, in a way his cuff couldn’t, didn’t. A collar would mean... so much, just for them. Shivers chased up his spine, and it took him a moment to realize that Kurt’s fingers had worked their way under his cuff, stroking the delicate skin on the inside of his wrist. He couldn’t help imagining the same thing, only with those clever fingers stroking at the sensitive skin on his neck, under a collar. “Are you sure, Beautiful? You look overwhelmed.” Blaine smiled, sliding his hand down so Kurt’s fingers slipped out from under his cuff, catching them to tangle with his own. “I am, a little. But in a good way, I promise.” “Okay.” Kurt squeezed his fingers once, then withdrew his hand again, picking the carton of chicken back up. “There’s no rush to find anything, of course. We’ll have a lot of choices - styles and colors and texture. I just have some ideas where to start.” Blaine hardly paid attention to what he was eating for the rest of the night. Saturday couldn’t come soon enough for Blaine. Kurt actually teased him about it, how antsy he got Friday night, the dopey smile that was stuck to his face. “What exactly has you so excited about this?” Kurt asked that night as they did dishes together, Kurt washing and Blaine drying. Blaine shrugged, accepting the dish Kurt handed him. He was still smiling, couldn’t help it, the casual domesticity of doing dishes together hadn’t gotten old for him yet. He kind of hoped it never would. “I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.” “Do you think you could try?” Kurt prompted. “I don’t want to go into this not knowing your headspace. It’s not that you think this is going to make you more mine, right? Because you’re already mine.” “No, I know that,” Blaine reassured. Flushing happily, he held up his wrist, the soft leather slightly damp with dish water. “I’m reminded every day.” Kurt smiled too, soapy hand wrapping around the bare skin on Blaine’s forearm, pulling his wrist up for a kiss. It still, still, made Blaine’s heart skip. “Then what?” Kurt asked curiously.   “It’s... it’s the goal we set for ourselves, you know? This was the thing that... Look, I know that you don’t have expectations for me in our day to day life. And that’s good, that’s what I want. I want to be able to run my own life. But this was the thing that, when I was having a hard time adjusting, I told myself if I could be good I could have this. And now it’s real.” Kurt blinked, and for a minute Blaine couldn’t read his facial expression. Then he smiled softly, and the fondness in his eyes caught Blaine off guard. “You are good, Beautiful. My good boy.” It made him shiver, the praise making his body react like a physical touch. He set the plate aside, needing nothing more in that moment than to be wrapped up in Kurt. His Dom’s arms were around him before he was fully pressed against Kurt’s side, heedless of soap or dishwater. The rest of the dishes didn’t get done that night. The last of the summer heat clung to the city the next morning as they left together, dress in short sleeves and light pants, fingers linked together and smiles on their faces. A soft bright glow of warmth had settled into Blaine’s chest the night before, as they lay stuck together by sweat and come, and it hadn’t faded yet. It persisted as they stopped at Starbucks to get coffee, as Kurt hailed a cab for them, as they finally reached their destination. 
Gear Shops, just like all other stores in the world, came in vary levels of swankiness and sleaziness. You could find a crumbling corner store ready to sell you latex suits of dubious origin, and you could find Fifth Avenue shops with gold plated handcuffs and designer whips. The store Kurt had picked out seemed to fit into the middle range, tasteful and discreet enough not to be flashing neon signs, but without the overbearing opulence of the high end world. The stock, Blaine observed as they walked in, looked expensive in the way that meant things were well made. A lot of the items for sale made something deep in his chest quiver and curl up, not fear so much as a bone deep wariness. Kurt, wonderful, ever-conscious Kurt, slide his arm smoothly around Blaine’s waist, steering him away from the area of the store portioned off and labeled Punishment. He leaned into Kurt’s side and let his Dom guide him, followed Kurt’s foot steps towards the far wall of the store, which was covered in clothing and accessories of all kinds. He could feel his eyes widen as he noticed the huge selection of collars. So many choices. “Can I help you gentleman?” A sales clerk approached them, and Blaine sank back into Kurt’s side shyly. He didn’t know how to act in this situation. Old instincts told him he should be kneeling, battling new ones which said he only got on his knees for Kurt. Kurt’s arm tightened around his side, and he leaned into it. “My sub and I are looking for a collar.” Kurt said smoothly, hand rubbing soothingly along Blaine’s side. “Anything in particular you have in mind?” “I think we’d just like to look for now,” Kurt said pleasantly. “If we need assistance we’ll let you know.” Blaine stayed close to Kurt until the clerk had left, eyes flitting curiously towards the collars. “Are you sure you want to do this, Beautiful? It kind of feels like you’re freaking out.” Blaine smiled, tipping his head onto Kurt’s shoulder. “I do. I want this. I’m just nervous about being in here. I haven’t felt like a capital-s Sub in a while. There’s expectations on me in here.” “No one but me gets to put expectations on you,” Kurt reminded him. “I’ve got you, don’t be scared.” “Okay,” Blaine agreed, like it was that easy. Maybe it was. They took their time going through the selection, picking up different styles and materials. Kurt kept testing different colors against Blaine’s skin tone, though Blaine suspected he kept doing it because Blaine laughed every time. There were some braided cloth collars that Kurt seemed to like, but Blaine himself kept coming back to the leather ones. He loved the leather of his cuff. He loved the way it absorbed his body heat, warming like a second skin. It had molded itself quickly to the shape of his wrist, like it was always meant to be a part of him. He liked the way the brown leather looked against his skin too, the richness of it bringing out the gold of his skin. Most of the leather collars the store had were black, most with chunky silver fastenings, clips and tags. There were a couple, though, that he kept coming back to. Cautiously, he reached up to grab a slender brown leather collar. It was about as wide as two of his fingers pressed together, and made of thin leather. It had fastenings of a tarnished looking bronze, and single metal ring in the front, waiting for a tag. He could imagine Kurt’s name there, sitting at the base of his throat. Kurt’s arm looped around his waist, chin settling on his shoulder. “Is that the one?” “We can keep looking,” Blaine said distractedly, finger the leather. It was stiff now, but he could see how it would become supple with wear. He wanted to see if it would. “If you like it, we don’t have to,” Kurt whispered in his ear, and Blaine shrugged. “Do you like it?” Kurt hummed softly, reaching out to take the collar. “I think it would look good on you. And it matches your cuff. You’d looks so good wearing just this and your cuff...” Blaine leaned back into Kurt’s body, trying to ground himself. “We could get a tag- with your name on it.” “Christ, Blaine,” Kurt whispered, his voice shaking a little. Blaine smiled a little, curling his hand over Kurt’s on the collar. “I think this is it.” Blaine hardly paid attention as Kurt brought the collar, excitement settling into his blood. The ride back to their loft had never seemed so long, even with Kurt’s fingers under his cuff to calm him. He wanted, a desire that settled into his bones, throbbing there. His knees hit the floor the second they were in the loft, barely even in the door. He felt desperate, almost wild. “Please, Sir. Please Sir, put it on me.” Kurt was looking down at him with a mixture of amusement and arousal. “Take your shirt of, Beautiful,” he instructed, and Blaine did, while Kurt unwrapped the collar from its packaging. Kurt’s fingers slid into Blaine’s hair, fisting lightly so he could tip Blaine’s head back. Blaine went with it easily, baring his neck for Kurt, blinking up at him through his lashes. Kurt swore softly, bending down to suck harshly at Blaine’s lips. Then he was pulling back, wrapping the leather around Blaine’s neck. Blaine’s eyes slid shut, shudders running through him as collar tightened. Kurt’s fingers slid under the collar to check the fit, and Blaine couldn’t help the small whimper that left his lips. The fog was already descending in his brain, the overwhelming feeling of safety and belonging. He’d never felt so owned before, and it was wonderful. “Please, Sir.” “What do you need, Beautiful?” His Dom’s hand was back in his hair now and he leaned into it. “Can I make you come? Please, sir.” “Of course you can. Such a good boy. Can you open up for me, Beautiful?” Kurt’s thumb pressed firmly against Blaine’s chin, and Blaine parted his lips easily, eyes slipping shut.   He could hear the sound of Kurt’s belt being undone, and he shivered with it, happy to get lost in this. It felt strangely like coming home. -- Holidays They decided to spend the Thanksgiving in Lima. It had been Kurt’s suggestion, and he could tell the idea was making Blaine nervous. It would be the first time they had gone back to Ohio since Blaine’s move out to New York, and Kurt knew he would much rather spend the three days he had off from school in their loft with just the two of them. But it had been years since Kurt had spent Thanksgiving with his parents, and this year the desire to be with his family settled deep into his heart. He missed his dad, in a way he hadn’t since he first moved out to the city. Taking a sub had opened up a connection between them that had previously been closed. They were more than father and son now, but also two Doms with subs of their own. He couldn’t deny that part of him wanted to show off Blaine, show off how well he was doing, how much he amazed Kurt every day. But the idea was making Blaine nervous, and that sat uncomfortably on Kurt’s skin, a prickly edge of not right where instinct was telling him to do whatever it took to put Blaine at ease. Blaine wouldn’t say no about this, it was against his nature, against everything in him that wanted to be good and make Kurt happy. But he didn’t hide his nervousness, and Kurt was grateful for that. So they talked about it, what Thanksgiving would be like in New York verses what it would be like in Lima. If they spent it with Kurt’s family it would be the two of them, Burt and Carole, and Finn and his wife, a family. In New York, it would be just them. “Do you not want to spend Thanksgiving with me?” Blaine had asked timidly, and Kurt had immediately felt terrible. “No, no, not at all, of course I do, baby.” Kurt had reached out then to pull Blaine close. He ran his fingers through Blaine’s hair until his sub relaxed in his arms and continued. “We’ll spent Christmas together in New York. My parents always come up for a couple days, but not usually on Christmas itself. My dad usually gives the guys at the shop Christmas Eve and Christmas day off, but he doesn’t like closing on the holidays, so he stays around in case of emergencies. I just thought we could go down and see them for Thanksgiving. They want family there, and I’ve never had reason to go back before, but I do now.” “I’m not family to them,” Blaine had whispered, so quiet Kurt could barely hear him. “Of course you are. You’re mine, Beautiful. You’re as much family as Carole, or Finn’s Dom. As long as you’re mine, there will be a place for you there.” “I’ll always be yours,” Blaine responded quiet but sincere, and Kurt’s heart had glowed. Now, poised on the eve of leaving, Blaine’s nerves had come back. Kurt could feel the tension in him where they were pressed together back to chest, the kind of energy thrumming through his body that meant sleep wouldn’t be coming anytime soon. The quiet was becoming oppressive, to the point where even Kurt was on edge, and eventually he had to resign himself to the fact that Blaine wasn’t going to talk unprompted. Sighing, he snuggled in closer, using the arm he had slung across Blaine’s waist to rub soothing circles into his stomach over his soft cotton sleep shirt. “Why are you scared?” he asked softly. Blaine was quiet for a time, and Kurt could feel the shifting tension in his body, the anxiety. He kissed Blaine’s neck softly, letting his face rest there, lips against Blaine’s neck and nose in his hair. He smelled perfect. “Going to Ohio is going to mean seeing my parents. Or my mom at least. You told her I’d see her when we came back.” “You don’t have to,” Kurt reassured him. He rucked up Blaine’s shirt a little, so he could slide his palm across the bare skin of Blaine's stomach, continuing the soothing circles. “I’m not going to make you see her. I didn’t mean to make you think I ever would. I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do, Blaine, that includes seeing your mother.” “But you think I should. I know that, I know you.” The hair on Blaine’s stomach prickled at Kurt’s hand. He sighed, scratching his fingers lightly through it as he spoke. “I think you leaving was harder on her than you think it was. She lost you two years earlier than she expected.” “She lost me before that.” The words were so quiet Kurt barely heard them. His chest panged in sympathy, aching for the boy who had spent so much of his life feeling alone. “I’m not going to make you see her. But I do think you should give her a chance.” If Kurt had thought about it, really thought about it, he would have realized that for Blaine, a choice like that was no choice at all. When an expectation was placed on him, he would always try to rise to that expectation because disappointing anyone (and Kurt most of all) was the worst outcome to him. If Kurt had thought about it, he would have realized that. But instead, caught up in the excitement of the holidays and tired from the lateness of the hour, he just snuggled down and went to sleep. The plain ride was uneventful. Blaine’s anxieties seemed to have faded, and he spent most of the ride curled up against Kurt’s side with a novel for his English class. When Kurt’s fingers tucked under his cuff, habit more than anything else, he met Kurt’s smile with his own, leaning in for a quick kiss. Kurt’s father was waiting for them at the airport in Columbus, flannel clad and topped with a baseball cap. He pulled Kurt into a hug the minute he was within reach and Kurt sank into it, into the familiar smells of motor oil and aftershave. Blaine hung back, seemingly content to let him have their moment, but Kurt watched in amusement as Burt release Kurt and pulled Blaine into a hug as well. He was frozen stiff, unmoving, until Burt muttered “Relax, kid,” and Kurt watched his sub unwind, arms coming up cautiously to return the hug. “Thank you for having me,” Blaine said awkwardly, once Burt had pulled back. “How long does it take for him to stop thanking you for stuff?” Burt asked Kurt over Blaine’s head, and Kurt chuckled lightly as Blaine’s cheeks colored. “Only until he’s comfortable.” He reached out, pulling Blaine against his side. “Now he only thanks me for things when I want him to.” Burt’s laughter drown out Blaine’s indignant protest, and Kurt grinned as Blaine buried his flushed cheeks in Kurt’s neck. “We tease because we love you,” Kurt reminded him, kissing Blaine’s hair, and Burt chuckled again. “Come on you two. We’ve still got a drive back, and I’m sure Carole’s impatient to see you.” The rest of Wednesday night passed in pre-Thanksgiving festivities and planning for the next day. Carole had a way of drawing Blaine out of his shell, and by the time they went to bed for the night, Blaine seemed as relaxed as he usually did in New York. It was after they settled down in Kurt’s old bed (the first bed they’d ever shared), that Blaine said into the darkness “I talked to my mom before we left. I’m going to see her on Friday.” “That’s great, sweetheart,” Kurt said happily, squeezing Blaine’s hand in his. “Where are you meeting?” “At their house. She has some things to take care of, apparently, so I told her I’d just come to her there.” That gave Kurt pause. He’d expected them to meet a neutral location, somewhere that wouldn’t have history for Blaine. But then again, this entire town had history for Blaine. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He asked softly. Blaine shrugged. “I’m not sure the meeting in general is a good idea. But like you said, she’s my mom. That’s what matters in the end.” “What matters in the end is you being safe,” Kurt said worriedly, “Physically and emotionally, Blaine.” Blaine remained quiet, and Kurt rolled over to look at him, more worried still. “I can handle it,” Blaine promised, meeting Kurt’s eyes. “If I can’t, I’ll call you and you can come get me. Okay?” “Okay,” Kurt agreed. Blaine kissed him softly, all warm lips and sweet tongue, snuggling down into Kurt’s arms when they broke apart. “I know you want what’s best for me.” “I do,” Kurt said softly. “Always.” Thanksgiving was a crazy affair. Kurt rose early, leaving Blaine soft and sleepy, sprawled out in bed. He met Carole in the kitchen, and together they began to plow their way through the food they had to prepare for the day. Kurt liked cooking with Carole, had since his dad married her when he was a teenager. They fell into a rhythm easily, pausing only to have a cup of coffee with Burt when he wandered in for breakfast. By the time Blaine stumbled down the stairs at half past ten, they had the turkey well on it’s way to being done, and Kurt was working on pie. Carole, who was busy skinning potatoes at the sink, greeted Blaine with a smile and a cup of coffee. Kurt watched as Blaine took the cup from her gratefully, hugging her sideways in thanks. “Hey sweetie,” Kurt muttered as Blaine came up to him, setting his coffee cup down on the table next to the pie plate and wrapping his arms around Kurt. He swayed a little, covering Blaine’s hands on his waist with his own, and he could feel Blaine’s smile pressed into his shoulder. “Can I help?” Blaine asked, voice still a little sleepy. “I think we’ve got it under control,” Kurt said fondly, and Carole made an affirmative noise from the sink. “You can help by keeping Burt company,” she suggested. “He’s watching a game right now, but if he’s left alone too much longer, he’s going to wander in here and start bothering us.” Blaine hummed disbelievingly, arms squeezing a little around Kurt’s waist. “Somehow I don’t feel like watching a football game is helpful.” “Go,” Kurt said with a grin, unlacing Blaine’s arms from around his waist. He twist around to kiss Blaine softly. “Go bond with my dad. I’ll let you know if we need anything, but Finn and Angie should be here soon enough, and she’ll be able pick up any slack we have without burning it.” “My cooking’s getting better,” Blaine pouted, and Kurt laughed, affection swelling inside him. “It is,” he agreed. “Go on.” After another quick press of lips, Kurt turned back to the pie crust he was rolling out and Blaine headed out into the living room. “Look at you,” Carole said softly, and he looked up at her, raising an eyebrow in question. “The boy who never wanted a sub. You’re so good with him.” Kurt flushed, looking down at his pie. “He makes it easy. It’s instinct, mostly.” “Mhm,” She hummed in agreement. “It’s just nice to see you happy.” “It’s nice to be happy,” He admitted, and they shared a soft smile. Things got a bit crazy once Finn and his wife Angie arrived. Blaine had never met his step brother, and Kurt knew that new Dom’s made Blaine nervous, even a female one, so he wasn’t at all surprised that once they arrived Blaine stuck pretty close to his side. It was fine though, they were at the final hurdle of the meal preparation, so the two of them withdrew to set the table while Carole and Angie finished the cooking. Burt and Finn emerged as they started bringing food out, both lending hands where they could. Soon enough, they were all settled down around the table, and Kurt let it wash over him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had everyone he considered family in the same place. It might have been his high school graduation, and then he hadn’t had Blaine. (Which was because Blaine was around 7 years old at the time, but generally Kurt tried not to think about that too much.) Shaking himself, Kurt caught his sub’s eye, smiling at him. Blaine smiled back, tentative but happy, and Kurt caught his hand under the table. I love you he mouthed to Blaine, and Blaine grinned back. I love you, too. The rest of the day rushed passed in a whirl-wind of family and good food. It took a while for Blaine to unwind, but he got there eventually. Burt drew him into a conversation about where he would be applying for college, which was basically every performing arts school in New York City, as Kurt pointed out fondly. Dinner was followed by Burt, Blaine, Finn and Angie being sucked back into the world of football. Kurt curled up on the couch next to his father, a sketch pad in his lap which he was aimlessly doodling hem lines in, and Blaine dropped onto the floor in front of him, back to the couch and his head resting on Kurt’s knees. It was a thinly veiled ploy to get Kurt to play with his hair, but Kurt was happy to indulge it. He was being so good, after all. Surrounded by people and stuffed full, Kurt found himself getting drowsy easily. For the most part he was content to drift, the fingers of his left hand toying with Blaine’s curls, the right holding loosely on to his pencil, the game a familiar drone in the background. Not until Carole bid them goodnight did he admit he was pretty much falling asleep on the couch. It barely even eleven - god, he was getting old. “I think I’m going to head to bed as well,” he announced, barely receiving any acknowledgement from anyone but Blaine, who smiled up at him from the floor. “I’ll come too,” Blaine agreed, starting to stand. “No, sweetie, you don’t have to. I just got up early. You’re welcome to stay.” Blaine shrugged, straightening and offering Kurt his hand to pull him up. “I probably won’t sleep yet, but I want to keep you company.” They walked up the stairs together, Kurt’s arm looped loosely around Blaine’s waist. Blaine leaned into him, their hips bumping occasionally, making them both smile. “Thank you for talking me into this,” Blaine said quietly, once they were behind the closed door of Kurt’s old room. “I’m glad we came.” “I am too,” Kurt agreed, pulling Blaine in for a kiss, long and slow. “Now, I just have to get through tomorrow,” Blaine muttered, biting his lip. “You’ll be fine,” Kurt reassured, and Blaine’s lips twitched. “I hope so.” Kurt fell asleep that night in the soft glow of a bedroom lamp, Blaine reading next to him.  He slept long and hard, waking up the next morning to the beeping of Blaine’s phone alarm. The rest of the house had begun to stir by the time they made it downstairs, and they grabbed a quick breakfast with Finn and Angie before his step brother and his wife headed back to their home. The plan was for Kurt to drop Blaine off at his parent’s house, then kill time in town until Blaine called to be picked up. So Kurt settled down at the Lima Bean with a cup of coffee and his laptop, ready to catch up on some work. Or that had been the plan, anyway. In reality, Kurt couldn’t have been there for more than an hour and a half when his cellphone buzzed with a text message from Blaine. Can you come get me? Please? Kurt’s heart sank like a stone. Of course, he responded quickly, gathering up the collection of sketches and contracts scattered across the table, sliding them back into his bag along with his laptop. Thoughts cycled quickly through his head, racing. What could have gone wrong in under two hours? The answer was immediately clear as Kurt pulled into the Anderson’s driveway. There was one more car parked there than there had been when he’d dropped Blaine off. His sub was sitting on the stairs of the front porch, bundled up in his peacoat and scarf, eyes red but dry. Knees curled up to his chest, Blaine looked tiny, and so much younger than Kurt had seen in months. It sent a sharp aching pain through his chest, made panic push at his throat. Instinct, telling him, protect. Blaine stood as soon as Kurt pulled up to the house, and was waiting to meet the car by the time Kurt pulled up, pulling the door open as soon as the car stopped moving. “Your dad came home?” Kurt guessed. “Yes,” Blaine said shortly, sliding into the car and buckling up quickly. His hands were shaking, Kurt could see the tremors running through them, but Blaine pressed them to his thighs, stilling them. Trying to hold himself together, Kurt realized. “What’d he say to you? I can go-” “Kurt, please. I just wanna go, please, can we go?” Blaine’s eyes weren’t dry anymore, filling up with tears as he curled in on himself, trying to disappear into the car seat. His shoulders curled protectively around himself, away from Kurt. He’s shutting me out, Kurt thought, and that hurt so much more than he was prepared for. “Blaine, sweetheart, what happened?” Kurt asked in alarm, but Blaine shook his head, reaching up to wipe the tears from his eyes. “Please can we just go?” There was a choke in Blaine’s voice, a tremor in it that Kurt had only heard a few times before. He was fighting for what composure he had, and Kurt realized that this was not a safe space for him to break down. This was Blaine telling Kurt what he needed. He needed to leave, to be as far away from this place as possible. “Yeah.” Kurt shook himself, turning away from Blaine to put the car in reverse. “But you’ll tell me later?” He could see Blaine shrug out of the corner of his eye, his head tipping sideways to rest on the glass of the window. Tentatively, he reached out, sliding his fingers through Blaine’s, left hand still on the steering wheel. His sub’s fingers twined back through his with a small squeeze, and he took a deep breath. This was a good sign, they’d talk about it later. Blaine stayed quiet on the car ride back to Kurt’s parents house, and Kurt focused on the road, tuning the energy and itching need to control into getting them there as quickly and safely as possible. Their hands separated as they pulled into the driveway, but Kurt couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to Blaine once he was out of the car. The fact that Blaine still reached back felt like a small miracle. The living room was empty, Kurt could hear his parents voices coming from the kitchen, and Blaine allowed himself to be pulled into the empty room. “Please,” Kurt said softly, pulling Blaine in close. He reached up, brushing his fingers across the curls falling softly across Blaine’s forehead. “Tell me?” A question, not a command. He couldn’t order this from Blaine. It didn’t seem to matter though, Blaine sighed, head dropping. “It went fine at first, until I started talking about college. Then mom got weird. She said that it was fine to be thinking about college when I was still unclaimed, or if I’d been in a temporary claim. But she says that since I’m already claimed, I should put my energy into cooking, or keeping house, or all these stupid things. And then I explained, you know, that you usually cook, and that you don’t expect that from me but she kept saying so politely that I’m a terrible sub and-” “Blaine,” Kurt cut off him off before the stream of words turned hysterical. “You’re not a terrible sub, sweetheart.” “I know that!” Blaine snapped, and then his hand tugged sharply out of Kurt’s. “That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” “Of course doesn’t,” Kurt soothed, reaching back out for him. Blaine shook his head, arms crossing over his chest. “Then Dad came home, and it just got worse. I knew this was a bad idea Kurt, I knew it.” Guilt struck hard in Kurt’s stomach. He’d pushed Blaine into this. “What can I do?” He asked softly. Blaine sighed, and he seemed to deflate, arms dropping to his side, shoulders losing their defensive hunch. “I think I just need some space. Okay? Don’t be... I’m okay, Kurt. I just need to collect myself.” Away from you. Kurt swallowed, and the weight of guilt in his stomach seemed to double. “Of course. You can - my room, if you want. I’ll give you space.” “Thanks,” Blaine sighed, and he started walking away,  leaving Kurt staring through the wall where he’d been before. Then he felt soft fingers touching the inside of his wrist, a shy mimic of the way he touched Blaine so often. “And thank you for coming to get me. I love you.” “I love you, too,” Kurt returned. He was still standing there, staring at the wall, when his father wandered in. “Everything okay, kid?” “This was my fault.” The crack in Kurt’s voice surprised him. “I screwed up, Dad. This is my fault, I told him he should do this.” Burt was silent for a minute, and of course, he wouldn’t know what Kurt was talking about. Kurt sighed, trying to summon the words to explain. But then his dad’s hand was on his shoulder. “Doesn’t matter,” Burt said gruffly, “Whatever it was, it doesn’t matter. You love that boy with all you’ve got, you want the best for him. Always. There’s no way he doesn’t know that, Kurt. You’re allowed to screw up.” “Not when it hurts him.” His father’s hand tightened on his shoulder, a reassuring squeeze, and Kurt leaned into it. Give him space. Out of all the things Blaine could have asked for, being left alone was absolutely the hardest to give. Kurt itched with it, guilt weighing heavily on him. Space. He sighed, pulling away from his father’s touch and grabbing a magazine from a nearby table. Maybe that would distract him for a while. It didn’t. But between flipping through glossy pages selling furniture, and helping Carole reheat Thanksgiving leftovers for dinner, he managed to pass enough time until the sun was down, and he felt he could reasonably go check on Blaine. The door to his bedroom was cracked, and Kurt approached it cautiously. Carefully, he peered through the crack in the door, taking in the boy laid out on the bed. Blaine was on his side, arms out in front of him like he’d been playing with his cuff. Softly, Kurt knocked on the frame of the door, smiling sadly when Blaine looked up at him. “Can I come in?” Blaine nodded, and Kurt pushed the door open. The light from the hallway was the only source of light in the room, so Kurt flicked on a lamp before sinking to his knees on the side of the bed in front of Blaine. The lamplight cast a soft glow across Blaine’s form, giving his skin a warm, golden glow. Kurt sighed, reaching out to catch Blaine’s wrist. Carefully, he pulled Blaine’s arm towards him, leaning forward to rest his forehead against the warm leather cuff on his wrist. The position felt oddly submissive, baring the tender curve of his neck to Blaine. It felt like penance. “Kurt?” Blaine asked softly, hesitantly. “I’m sorry,” Kurt murmured. The guilt that had been sitting heavy in Kurt’s stomach turned. “I pushed you into this. I thought I knew what you needed better than you did, and that wasn’t fair of me.” “Kurt,” Blaine sighed, and then he could feel Blaine’s fingers touching his hair softly. Blaine knew better that to try and tangle his fingers in like Kurt often did to his, but the touch was comforting nonetheless. “Kurt, please look at me.” He tilted his head up, chin resting on Blaine’s wrist instead, and Blaine’s fingers slid down to touch his cheek. “Hi,” Kurt said softly. Blaine smiled, a real smile that reached his eyes. “Hi. Kurt, I don’t blame you. I know you want what’s best for me. And I know you don’t understand my family.” “I promised I wouldn’t try to control your life outside of sex. I made that promise to you, Blaine, and then I just...treated you like a child. And I’m so sorry.” Blaine sighed, eyes slipping shut for a moment, then they opened again, crystal clear. “Kurt, you’re my partner. Before you’re my Dom, you’re my partner, and I’ll always value your opinion. I just need to know that you can give it to me in such away that it doesn’t become an expectation. Because I’m never going to be able to do something that I think will let you down.” Blaine’s voice was so soft when he spoke, collected and calm. Kurt let it seep into him. “I’ll try.” “That’s all I can ask,” Blaine reassured, and Kurt let out a breath. “Can you get up here and hold me now?” “Of course I can,” Kurt agreed. Blaine fit perfectly against the curve of his body, as Kurt curled up behind his sub, his arm around Blaine’s waist. His nose tucked in perfectly at the crock of Blaine’s jaw, the familiar smell of him like a balm, soap and cologne and boy. “We’re okay, Kurt. I promised,” Blaine muttered, and just for a while, Kurt let himself believe it. It didn’t feel okay, though. Kurt didn’t feel okay, even once they returned to New York. The city was coming alive with light and the smell of snow was in the air. Christmas was coming to New York, but Kurt couldn’t feel it. He couldn’t feel anything but guilt. The December chill that settled into the city seemed to sink into Kurt’s bones, throwing off his focus. Blaine, to his credit, seemed to take Kurt’s discomfort in stride. He stayed close when he could, a soothing presence on Kurt’s scuffed nerves. More often than not recently, Blaine would turn up at Kurt’s office after school, and curl up in a chair with a book or homework, seemingly content just to share space. That didn’t change the fact that Kurt couldn’t seem to figure out how to