Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/80162.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      Multi
  Fandom:
      Veronica_Mars_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Logan_Echolls/Lilly_Kane, Duncan_Kane/Lilly_Kane, Logan_Echolls/Duncan
      Kane, Duncan_Kane/Veronica_Mars, Lilly_Kane/Veronica_Mars
  Additional Tags:
      Sibling_Incest
  Stats:
      Published: 2005-03-26 Words: 6911
****** 12 Rolls of Film ******
by sinaddict
Summary
     "You want answers, Veronica Mars? I don't think you really want them.
     I think you just need something to chase. The question is, which one
     of us is right?"
Notes
     f you're easily offended by anything, don't read. Spoilers through
     Russkie Business, to be safe, although there's nothing specific
     referenced.
01. Kodak Ektachrome E100G Color Slide Film, ISO 100
Veronica dreams of Lilly in cross-processed Ektachrome slide film.
Cross-processing film makes the results grainy, and there's a greenish cast no
matter what color lighting she's filming in to begin with. The photos look
urban, and gritty, and in a way, dirty. She's not sure whether it's the urban
or the dirty that makes her think of Lilly (probably it's a combination of
both), but she hasn't found a subject worthy of shooting Ektachrome since Lilly
died.
Lilly always appears to her in a green cast. ("Check you out, Veronica Mars.
You're like a rocker chick now.") She knows she's dreaming every time -- she's
learned what the green means and looks for Lilly now -- and the upside of
knowing that she's dreaming is that she doesn't waste precious time on surreal
non sequiturs like monkeys in tutus serving coffee in the school cafeteria. She
uses her time with Lilly to ask questions, to try to get answers to the
mysteries that have taken over her life.
But Lilly is still all about leaving them wanting more. "Can't say," she shrugs
with a devilish grin when Veronica asks who really killed her. And she knows,
Veronica knows she knows, but she's still holding her cards close and not
letting anybody in on the secret. "Seriously, Veronica, there are better uses
for your mouth than asking pointless questions you don't really want the
answers to."
~
Lilly had kissed Veronica three times when she was still alive. The first,
Veronica had begged for Lilly's advice on how to be a good kisser so she didn't
disappoint Duncan. Lilly had laughed and told her that Duncan was so head over
heels for her, she could kiss like Backup and still be the best thing Duncan
had ever had.
The second time, they were at a party and Logan set up a rousing game of 09'er
Spin-the-Bottle, where the only rule was that you had to kiss whoever the
bottle landed on, regardless of sex, familial bonds, or past relationships. By
the end of the game, Lilly had kissed Logan, Veronica, and Duncan, and Veronica
had gotten to watch a drunk Logan kiss an even drunker Duncan, which both of
them swore didn't happen the next day.
Homecoming was the third time.
And now Veronica wishes she had kissed Lilly back in that limo instead of
pushing her away and laughing it off.
"Honestly, Veronica Mars, what does a girl have to do to get your attention?"
The greenish tint of the light and the translucent green water in the pool add
a searing quality to Lilly's eyes as she lounges on the Kane pool-deck with a
margarita in one hand and a cigarette in the other. "I hate to bring out the
big guns, but..."
As Lilly stands, her swimsuit disappears. Being Lilly, she goes for the
fashionable look and keeps the stilettos, though. And Veronica's a little too
occupied with studying all those soft curves until her gaze sweeps upward to
find the corner of Lilly's mouth quirked up in an amused smile.
Then the blood drips down the side of her face from the caved-in side of her
head.
Veronica wakes herself up screaming.
~
"Why do you insist on asking me questions you don't want the answers to?"
Veronica should ask why Lilly thinks she doesn't want the answers, what Lilly
knows that she doesn't. Instead, she follows Lilly through the green parking
garage they're in toward a dream version of the SUV Lilly shared with Duncan.
"Lilly, why are we here?" she asks softly when Lilly stops next the rear door
and stares at her observantly.
"You want answers, Veronica Mars?" Lilly inclines her head, her hand resting on
the door handle. "I don't think you really want them. I think you just need
something to chase. The question is, which one of us is right?"
"Does it matter?" Veronica raises an eyebrow. "You're going to do what you
want, anyway."
Lilly laughs and smiles, tilting her head to the left and peering in the car
window for a second before turning back to Veronica. "Yeah, I am. See, that's
the cool thing about being dead. You don't have to give a shit about right or
wrong. It's all about what'll amuse you the most."
"And the answers I want are amusing?"
"Not so much," Lilly tells her seriously as she lifts the handle to the car
door, opening it and popping her head around the side of the door, beckoning
Veronica closer. "But I'm pretty sure the fallout will be more entertaining
than cable."
"I've got a secret, Veronica Mars," Lilly says as the backseat of the car comes
into Veronica's view. "A good one..."
~
02. Fujifilm Velvia, ISO50
"You know," Duncan whispered in Veronica's ear as he slipped his hand under her
shirt and toyed with the bottom edge of her bra, grinning at the little gasp
she gave in response. "This whole making out in the car thing is such a
cliché."
"Oh?" Veronica asked breathlessly, her fingers digging into Duncan's arm,
trying to pull him a little bit closer. "Well, we could always go back to my
house. I'm sure my Dad would love a chance to see if his gun is still in
working order."
Duncan paused, wrenching a disappointed sigh from his girlfriend. "Okay. Cliché
it is."
"Our first time is not going to be in the car," Veronica told him firmly, but
let him slide his hand up her leg, under her skirt, anyway. "It has to be
special."
"Veronica, everything with you is always special," Duncan said softly, pressing
his lips to her forehead in a moment of chasteness. Or as chaste as it could
get with his hand between her thighs and her unbuttoned shirt flapping open.
"You make the annual 'say no to drugs' assembly special."
"You are so awesome," Veronica wrapped her arms around her neck and hugged him.
"But we didn't go to the assembly. We skipped and hid in the closet behind the
pool deck."
"Hey, I think that was pretty special," Duncan grinned and kissed her again.
"Where'd you learn to do that, by the way?"
"Lilly taught me."
"Ugh," Duncan made a face, pulling back slightly. "We really don't need to
bring up my sister at a time like this. Now you're never going to be able to do
that again without me wondering where Lilly learned it."
Veronica just laughed. "I guess I shouldn't mention where I learned that thing
with my mouth that you liked so much."
~
"So, Duncan liked what I told you?" Lilly asked the next day in the girl's
bathroom as she reapplied her lipstick and Veronica washed her hands.
"Well, he did until I told him it was you who taught me how to do it," Veronica
giggled, drying her hands and tossing the paper towel in the general direction
of the wastebasket. "After I told him that, the mood was kind of killed."
"Oh, Veronica," Lilly rolled her eyes in mock-exasperation as she lifted a hand
and tilted Veronica's face toward her, gently applying the deep pink lipstick
to Veronica's lips. "Press your lips together," she barely had to say the words
before Veronica obediently did so, and she handed her friend a paper towel.
"Now blot. Duncan knows I'm no virgin. Hell, he probably heard about the trick
from Logan."
"Really?"
"Well, who did you think taught me that?"
"Eww, I do not need that image in my head, thank you," Veronica rolled her
eyes. Lilly merely studied her for a few seconds, prompting Veronica to ask,
"What?"
A minute pause, just an instant too long, and Lilly said, "Nothing," on her way
out the door.
~
Duncan and Veronica's studying session had quickly devolved into a heavy
makeout, and they didn't notice they weren't alone until the flash went off,
startling them into jumping apart like little kids caught at the cookie jar.
Lilly laughed madly and took off down the hall, camera in hand as Duncan leapt
up to chase after her. Logan just shook his head at the siblings and gave
Veronica a wry shrug. "You know how she is. There's no stopping her from
getting her way."
"Did that camera have film in it?" Veronica asked with an amused sigh borne
from the knowledge that Lilly wouldn't have done anything with pictures of her
and Duncan reenacting the Kama Sutra on the back lawn, much less pictures of
them fully clothed and above the covers on the bed.
"Yep," Logan flopped down next to her on the bed and picked up her geometry
book, paging through it with one hand while he reached into his pocket with the
other and handed her an empty film box. "She got it out of your purse."
Veronica heaved an irritated sigh as she looked at the label. "You know, taking
pictures of me and Duncan is one thing. Wasting Velvia film in an automatic
camera without the right settings is another."
Logan chuckled. "Somehow, I doubt that's what Duncan's pissed about, though."
~
03. Kodak Ultra Color 400UC
"God damn it, Lilly, give me the fucking camera," Duncan snarled angrily at his
sister as he chased her around the dining room table three times before it
occurred to him to attempt a leap over the table to tackle her.
He missed her by inches and she gained a three second lead as she took off down
the hallway to the east wing while he recovered and got to his feet, taunting
in a singsong voice, "Missed me, missed me!"
"I'm going to kill you, I swear," Duncan shouted as he she rounded a corner and
headed toward the stairs to the east wing basement. He skidded to a stop just
in time to avoid tumbling down the stairs as she called back, "Bet you can't
catch me!"
The point of her little game didn't become clear to him until the basement door
latched shut behind him and he reached the bottom of the stairs, finding Lilly
sprawled out on the racecar bed he had outgrown when he was four. "How bad do
you want these pictures?" she dangled the camera by the strap between her
fingers, grinning mischievously at him. "'Cause something tells me Mommy
Dearest would be very interested to see them."
"Lilly, this isn't funny," he came to a stop at the foot of the bed, folding
his arms over his chest and glaring down at her. "We both know you wouldn't do
that to Veronica, so just give me the camera."
"Oh, but I'd do it to you," Lilly smirked at him, climbing across the small bed
and kneeling in front of him, wrapping her arms around his waist and tilting
her head back until her hair cascaded over her shoulders in a smooth, silky
line. "How much do you want the camera, Duncan?"
"This is wrong, Lilly," he shook his head, trying to garner the willpower to
push her back, even as he got hard from the sight of her. They'd played
variations on this game before, and he knew exactly where it was headed. "You
know it's wrong."
"Wrong is so much fun, though," Lilly grinned at him brightly and lifted the
camera, snapping another picture of him before sliding her wrist through the
loop of the strap and lifting the hem of his shirt, pressing her lips to the
line of skin just above the waist of his pants as his abs tightened at her
touch. Looking up at him, she said persuasively, "You want the camera, you're
going to have be wrong. Again."
"Veronica..." he trailed off as Lilly undid the button on his jeans and her
tongue snaked behind the zipper. "Jesus, Lilly. She'll wonder where we went."
"She's on the opposite side of the house. Logan'll keep her busy," Lilly
dismissed the idea as she dragged the zipper down. "Well, hello. I think you're
not nearly as opposed to this as you'd like me to think."
He pulled her hair just hard enough to get her attention. "What do you mean,
Logan will keep her busy?"
"Oh, relax, Big Brother," she rolled her eyes as she disentangled his fingers
from her hair and covered his hand, sliding it down to her breast. "I'm too
selfish to share Logan with her, too. And I could keep talking and helping you
justify this to yourself, or I could suck you off until you beg me for more. We
both know which one you'd rather have."
Duncan closed his eyes and groaned, letting her have her way. Again.
~
Ten minutes. It had taken Lilly ten minutes to get him off, make him promise
he'd be in her room that night, and be back in his bedroom talking to his
girlfriend like nothing had happened. "Really, Veronica," Lilly's eyes sparkled
as she curled up in Logan's lap. "I told you that you should ask Logan for
help. He's much better than Duncan." An almost imperceptible pause (challenge)
as her eyes locked on Duncan's, and she added, "At math."
Prove me wrong tonight, her gaze dared him. You know you want to.
"Yes, I know," Veronica sighed dramatically. "I should know by now that you're
never wrong."
"For the love of God, don't encourage her," Logan's eyes widened with mock-
horror. "Her plans for world domination are already enough."
After the giggling died down, Veronica turned to Duncan, holding her hand out
and waiting for him to cross the room to her side. He did, but his eyes were on
Lilly the whole time. Veronica didn't notice, telling him, "You're so sweet for
defending my honor against big bad photographer Lilly, but with that film,
she'd have to be shooting with a tripod and be standing there for a good five
seconds to even get a shadow of an image on film."
And Lilly just grinned devilishly at him.
~
"You knew that film wouldn't actually get anything," Duncan had the pleasure of
startling her when she walked out of her bathroom in a towel at ten to
midnight. "You knew that nobody would be able to see anything on those
pictures."
"Well, duh," Lilly rolled her eyes and unhooked the towel, flinging it at him.
"The fun was in making you... rise to the occasion. You always need a reason to
be wrong. It's less time-consuming if I just give you one to begin with."
"This isn't a game, Lilly," he growled at her as he roughly wrapped her in the
towel and pushed her toward her dresser. "We can't keep doing this. People are
going to get hurt."
"Oh, boo-hoo," Lilly laughed and threw the towel across the room, thrusting her
hip to the side and assuming a model pose as she looked at him seductively.
"You're so predictable, Donut. But we both know deep down, you don't give a
shit about who'd get hurt, either."
What really ate at him was that they both knew she was right.
He sighed and crossed the room to her. "There are better uses for your mouth
than talking. Get started."
~
04. Fuji NPH, ISO400
If Logan had suspicions about Duncan's relationship with Lilly, he kept them to
himself and never let the slightest hint of them show. Duncan thought he had to
have suspected something, since Logan was not stupid, and there were too many
weird, unexplainable incidents between the three of them.
Which is why, one drunken night, Duncan blurted out, "Does it bother you that I
fuck your girlfriend?"
Logan had turned to him, expression inscrutable, and replied, "Would it bother
you if I fucked yours?"

Duncan hadn't been able to think about much else for the rest of the night.
~
The first time they kissed was in front of their girlfriends. They both denied
remembering it the next day to Lilly and Veronica, and admitted that they had
to each other the next night in secret.
Lilly had looked at them both with a gleam in her eye that said they weren't
fooling her.
The first time they fooled around, it was under Lilly's supervision. She made
it a competition; who could last longer, who could make the other moan louder,
who she ended up kissing goodnight, and who she went home with.
Duncan thought it was probably around the instant Lilly left with him that
Logan realized his relationship with Duncan was going to last a lot longer than
his relationship with Lilly ever could.
~
It took Duncan three days to come up with a suitable response to Logan's
question, and he tracked his friend down in the bathroom of Dick Casablanca's
house during a party to tell him in a strong voice, "If you ever fuck Veronica,
I'll kill you."
Logan smirked at him, kissed him hard, and then smirked at him again as he
pressed his palm down the front of Duncan's jeans and started working him
slowly. "Who would have ever guessed I'd be the better man between us?"
He got on his knees for Logan, hoping he could even the score a little bit.
Logan told him, "You're almost as good as Lilly."
And it killed him that he was more pissed at Lilly being better than he was at
the subtle dig. It killed him more that he had to ask Lilly the next day what
her trick was.
~
05. Kodak HIE, Infrared Black & White Negative
"Why don't you take Veronica to the movies tomorrow?" Lilly suggested in the
middle of sex, which she had learned quickly was the fastest way to get what
she wanted from Logan at any given time. "Keep her busy for a couple hours?"
Logan's hands gripped her hips, stopping her from moving, and he looked up at
her. "You got plans I should know about?"
"What makes you think you should know about anything I do?" He flipped them
both over and pinned her hands over her head, and she grinned up at him.
"Bondage, huh? Kinky. I think I like it."
"You like everything," Logan rolled his eyes. "You're a slut, Lilly."
"You're just miffed I'm not your slut," Lilly arched her hips up, laughing at
the hoarse groan he gave. "And you can't get mad at me for fucking Duncan when
you do it, too. How'd you like that thing with the honey I taught him? Was it
good for you?"
"Jesus, Lilly," Logan closed his eyes and buried his face in her neck as he
shuddered and came. "You're going to drag us all down to hell."
"Well, it wouldn't be any fun if I was there by myself."
~
When Lilly climbed through his window that night, she smelled like Duncan's
aftershave and sex.
Logan wasn't sure which turned him on more.
And she smiled knowingly at him and she pushed his mouth down between her legs,
where Duncan was fresh on her thighs.
~
06. Kodak Ektachrome E100G Color Slide Film, ISO 100
"Well, Veronica Mars, was I right?" Lilly comes up behind Veronica and rests
her chin on Veronica's shoulder. "Do you still want your answers? Or were just
in it for the chase?"
"This isn't real, is it?" Veronica asks rhetorically. "This is all just my
subconscious running wild at the possibility I may be Duncan's half-sister and
sublimating you in my place. Freud would have a field day."
"I was right," Lilly announces gleefully, the green light bouncing off her
lollipop as she sticks it back in her mouth and somehow manages to talk clearly
around it. "You were just in it for the chase. I told you that you didn't
really want the answers. I knew you weren't ready for them."
"This isn't real!" Veronica glares at Lilly. "Duncan wouldn't..."
"Fuck his sister?" Lilly raises an eyebrow. "Grow up, Veronica. Why did you
think he was so patient with you? He didn't need to rush you into sex because
he was fucking me and Logan. You can't tell me you didn't wonder even a little
bit! All those times Logan took you out for no reason, all those times he and
Duncan disappeared from parties... You aren't that stupid, Veronica Mars."
"That wasn't all of it, was it?" Veronica steels herself and asks point-blank,
"Was there more?"
"Of course," Lilly laughs and shakes her head. "That was just the back-story. I
haven't even gotten to your answers yet." She pauses, staring at Veronica
closely, more seriously, "Are you sure you still want them? You back out now,
you can wake up and tell yourself this was all just your Dad's lasagna
leftovers and 'Flowers in the Attic' on cable making your dreams weird."
Veronica gives it a moment's thought. Clearly, Lilly knows that whatever the
rest of the story is, it's going to be harder for Veronica to accept than the
idea her boyfriend was cheating on her with both his best friend and his
sister. But Lilly knows Veronica, and she must know Veronica's curious nature
is not going to let this go so easily. "I want answers," Veronica tells her
firmly. "I need answers."
Lilly nods once and sighs. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
~
07. Fujichrome RTP II 64 Tungsten Balanced, ISO 64
Lilly met Weevil at a party the PCH Bike Club crashed, an hour after she told
Logan to go fuck himself, or Duncan, since she wasn't planning on doing it for
him any time in the near future. He was the opposite of Logan in every
(superficial) way that mattered, and she had dragged him into the coat closet,
demanding, "Fuck me, and then you can tell me which is more fun to ride, me or
your bike."
He hadn't needed any more convincing than that, and delighted her by telling
her afterward that she was a much better ride than his bike.
She hadn't counted on him actually expecting anything more, though.
~
Weevil left letters in her locker and roses in her car. He never called her,
which she appreciated since Duncan would've gone on a rampage if he ever found
out. (For all his, "Lilly, this is wrong," lecturing, he was more possessive of
her than she was of him.)
Finally, she caught up with him away from his friends and told him that she
hadn't been looking for anything more than a random party fuck, and she was
with Logan. She may have been a total bitch and damn proud of it, but she
couldn't help feeling a little bad at the look in Weevil's eyes when she told
him she wasn't interested.
It was almost like the look Molly gave Duncan as Animal Control took her away.
~
08. Fujicolor Press, ISO 1600
"Your sister's being such a fucking bitch," Logan grumbled before downing the
last of the Jose Cuervo Gold and throwing the bottle toward the trash can and,
surprisingly enough, landing the shot. "Who does she think she is? Queen
fucking Mary?"
"I don't think there is a Queen Mary," Duncan said warily as he watched Logan
pull his shirt over his head and start unbuttoning his pants. "What'd she do
this time?"
"Queen Mary?" Logan sounded confused as he hopped on one foot and tried to take
off his shoe. The scene was comical enough that Duncan didn't bother offering
to help him, but not so comical that he laughed out loud at Logan, which would
have ended the night prematurely in a way that wouldn't be nearly as fun as
Logan's intended revenge on Lilly would most likely be.
Then Logan lost his balance and toppled into the dresser, and Duncan shook his
head, getting up to help his friend before Logan managed to crack his head
open. "No, my sister. What'd she do now?"
"She's all pissed off that I kissed Yolanda," Logan told him, like he truly
couldn't understand why Lilly would be pissed about him making out with another
girl, and Duncan thought maybe he should've let Logan keep trying to undress
himself. Maybe he would've managed to hit his head on something hard enough to
knock some sense into himself. "Like she has room to talk there," Logan
snorted. "She's fucking you and trying her damndest to get into Veronica's
panties, too."
"What?"
"Come on, Duncan, have you seen the way they look at each other, lately?" Logan
asked as he went to work on getting Duncan's shirt unbuttoned, and Duncan
halfheartedly tried to swat his hands away. "Lilly's hoping to make this little
ménage a trois a ménage a..." Logan trailed off, clearly not knowing the French
word for 'four', and finally finished, "Foursome."
"You're drunk," Duncan shook his head, not ready to admit that what Logan was
saying made perfect sense. Moreover, it was exactly something Lilly would do.
"Why'd you kiss Yolanda?"
"Lilly wasn't there." Logan's tone was almost petulant, and it reminded Duncan
of a four-year-old Lilly saying that she took one of the other kids' toys
because she didn't think anybody would miss it and she wanted it. "You were
busy with Veronica."
Duncan's mouth wiped the pout off of Logan's before he said, "I'm not busy
now."
~
"Does it bother you," Logan asked in the dark after he returned the favor and
got Duncan off, "That Lilly plays us all, pulls our strings and makes us
fucking dance for her own amusement?"
"Sometimes," Duncan sighed. "But that's just Lilly."
"If there was no Lilly, would you share Veronica with me?"
Duncan's answer was immediate, without thought. "No." And he immediately groped
for Logan's hand in the darkness, trying to soften the blow of the words
because he didn't mean for it to sound so harsh and unforgiving.
Silence for a brief moment, and then Logan asked the question. "Why?"
"She's not like us," Duncan told him softly. "You spend as much time with her
as I do, Logan. She's innocent. She's normal."
"Anybody who can keep Lilly's interest for so long isn't all that normal or
innocent," Logan told him seriously. "There's something about Veronica that
fascinates Lilly. The sooner we figure out what it is, the less it'll hurt when
Lilly reveals it."
"Lilly's fascinated because I want Veronica," Duncan said bitterly. "She can't
figure out what it is about Veronica that I can't enough of."
"You better hope Lilly never figures that out, then."
"Lilly can be just about anything," Duncan turned over on his side and closed
his eyes. "Except innocent, and that's what Veronica is."
~
"One of these days, Logan, I swear to Christ I'm going to strangle her and be
done with it," Duncan paced the length of Logan's pool house and kicked at
random knick-knacks and DVD cases littering the floor. "She's like the Anti-
Christ! I told her, damn it, I told her why I was trying to avoid Veronica, and
now she's determined to keep throwing Veronica at me when she knows..."
"Chill out, Dude," Logan handed him a beer and picked up the Playstation
controller to resume his game before a thought occurred to him. "Why are you
avoiding Veronica? She called me yesterday crying about you, and she knows I'm
still pissed at her for telling Lilly on me. I offered to go over and make her
forget about you--"
"So help me, Logan, I will kill you if you take advantage of her," Duncan cut
him off coldly, so utterly serious that Logan might have been afraid if he
didn't have a father like Aaron Echolls.
"Relax, Duncan, I'm not going to fuck Veronica," Logan rolled his eyes and
resumed his game. "She's light-years away from ready for sex. Especially the
sex that Lilly teaches us. Am I gonna get an answer on that 'why' question?"
"She might be my sister."
Logan's car crashed spectacularly on the screen, and he turned very slowly to
look at Duncan, eyes wide. "Excuse me?"
"Her mother, my father," Duncan continued pacing, shaking his head. "She might
be my father's."
For a long second, Logan was silent. Then he started laughing. "Holy shit,
Duncan, you may be the only man outside of Arkansas who's fooled around with
both his sisters."
"This isn't funny!" Duncan slammed his fist on the table. When that didn't stop
Logan's laughter, he hurled a nearby bottle at the wall, watching it shatter.
"Don't you get it? Veronica was my one shot at being normal, and I may have
screwed her up more than Lilly ever could."
"Oh, come on," Logan managed to stop laughing and pushed himself to his feet,
moving over to stand in front of Duncan. "You don't know for sure that she's
your sister. And even if she is, who says she ever has to know?"
"I'd know!"
"So? Lilly's your sister and you don't have any problems fucking her."
"Yeah," Duncan's eyes darkened as he looked at Logan. "Yeah, I do."
~
09. Kodak Portra 100T Tungsten Film, ISO 100
The phone woke Logan. "This had better be Lilly wanting sex," he answered it.
"Anything else can wait until tomorrow."
"Logan?" Veronica's voice sounded distant, and he knew right away she'd been
crying. He wished Duncan would get over his little ethical dilemma about the
possibility of Veronica being his sister, because Logan wasn't sure he could
keep being the sensitive one for Veronica.
Logan and sensitive weren't two concepts that really belonged in the same
sentence.
"Yeah, Veronica," he grumbled as he rolled over, preparing himself for another
round of 'why doesn't Duncan want me anymore?'. "What's going on?"
"Lilly," Veronica said, her voice breaking, and there was a wealth of wrongness
in the way she said that one word. She tried again, but only managed to get
out, "She's..."
Logan sat up in bed, suddenly very awake and more worried than he could ever
remember being in his life. "What about Lilly?" he demanded. "Veronica, what's
wrong? Is she hurt?"
"She's dead."
And just like that, Logan's whole world shifted a few degrees, and nothing was
the same.
~
He met Veronica at the Kane mansion. Things had definitely gone to shit when he
couldn't bring himself to comment on her little pep squad uniform short-shorts,
he thought to himself. "Duncan's..." she trailed off, her eyes red and swollen,
lined with smudged black that made her look a little like a rabid raccoon.
"They were going to take him to the hospital. They said he was in shock."
It looked like Veronica was in shock, herself, but she was holding it together
better.
"What happened?" he asked calmly, thinking 'car accident' and 'I told her to
pay more attention to the fucking road when she's driving'. Veronica's eyes
were fixed over his shoulder, staring at something so intently that she didn't
seem to hear his question. "Veronica?"
He turned halfway and saw the black body bag. Then it hit him that Lilly was
inside that, and she was gone, and god, she was gone.
And Logan threw up on the Kane's perfectly manicured lawn.
~
After the funeral, Logan asked Duncan once, "Did your father kill her?"
Duncan told him, "No," so firmly and so resolutely that Logan didn't doubt it
was the absolute truth. And from that moment on, when he looked at Veronica and
she stood by her father, he washed his hands of her and stopped caring whether
or not innocent, naive Veronica got hurt by anything.
This was her fault, anyway, he told himself. If there was no Veronica, he or
Duncan would've been there with Lilly.
If there was no Veronica, Lilly would be alive.
~
10. Fujifilm Neopan 1600 Black & White Film, ISO1600
"If there was no Veronica," Duncan started after drunkenly jerking Logan off in
the bathroom at Shelly Pomeroy's party. "If there were no Veronica... fuck... I
don't remember what I was going to say."
"You probably shouldn't have been drinking with those pills they put you on,"
Logan leaned back against the wall, trying to regain his breath and stay
upright long enough to zip his pants back up as he reached for Duncan. "Let me
do you."
"Nah," Duncan swatted his hands away before they could make contact. "There's a
girl out there waiting for me. Sherry? Shannie?"
"I think that was Shelly," Logan put in his two-cents, even though he thought
the girl's name was more like Katie or Carrie. It could only be amusing to see
Duncan fuck it up, though. "Whatever her name is, have fun. And make sure
Veronica sees you fucking her."
That Duncan didn't respond with some sort of punch was a testament to how drunk
he really was. "Haven't seen Veronica in a while. She probably went home. I'll
see you later, man."
"Yeah," Logan sighed as Duncan stumbled out of the bathroom first. He waited a
couple minutes to be safe, even though he doubted anyone was sober enough to
notice that he and Duncan were in the bathroom together for a good five
minutes.
Sherry or Carrie or whatever her name was probably wouldn't be half the fuck
Logan was.
~
"Dude," Dick Casablanca greeted Logan by the keg fifteen minutes later.
"Where'd you disappear to? Connie Watson was asking about you. Bet you could
get her into one of the bedrooms pretty easily."
"Don't need to," Logan grabbed a cup and took a big gulp of beer. "Already had
my fun for the night."
"Dude!" Dick congratulated him before turning a bit more serious. "Uh, are
Duncan and Veronica back together?"
"No!" Logan answered immediately, hoping he looked as disgusted with the idea
as he felt, just to get his point across faster. "She doesn't deserve to be in
the same room as him."
"Well, he must not feel that way," Dick nodded toward the back of the house.
"Duncan just took her into one of the bedrooms."
"Aw, fuck," Logan groaned. This was just what he needed right now. He'd seen
Veronica looking three sheets to the wind earlier, and between the pills and
the liquor, he doubted Duncan was sober enough to remember condoms. "I'll go
make sure she doesn't trap him into anything."
He walked into three bedrooms before he managed to find the one Duncan was in
with Veronica, and when he did find them, he wished to holy hell he hadn't
bothered looking to begin with. It took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to
the lack of light, but when they did, he realized two things in quick
succession: Veronica was passed out, dead to the world, and Duncan didn't
appear to notice it at all.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, Logan cursed in his head as he decisively locked the bedroom
door and wished Lilly was there to deal with this instead of him. "Duncan,"
Logan put a hand on his friend's shoulder just as Duncan shuddered and groaned
Lilly's name, then Veronica's, and Logan closed his eyes, hoping this was all
just a drunken nightmare. "Duncan, get off her," he said more firmly as he
pulled Duncan away.
Duncan flopped over onto his back, his eyes half-closed as he mumbled nonsense,
and Logan took a deep breath, wondering what the fuck he was supposed to do
now. Veronica was not his problem, he told himself. She chose her side, and it
wasn't with them, damn it.
He still found himself pulling her dress back down and covering her with the
blankets, though. And he told her he was sorry as he dragged Duncan out the
door, locking it behind them.
~
"Oh, fuck, just kill me now," Duncan pleaded as he covered his eyes with his
hands and groaned. "I think my head's gonna explode."
"It would serve you right," Logan told him unsympathetically as he dropped a
cold washcloth on Duncan's face and handed him a Bloody Mary. "Drink this. Do
you remember what happened last night?"
Duncan grimaced and nearly gagged over the drink, but managed to keep it down.
"We went to a party?"
"Yeah, we did," Logan nodded and sat on the bed next to him. "Anything else?"
"Uh..." Duncan winced and pressed the washcloth over his eyes. "Oh, Christ. I
think Veronica saw me making out with... what was her name?"
"Yeah, that too. What else?"
Duncan closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the pillow. "Did we
fuck?"
"You jerked me off in the bathroom and went in search of the girl whose name
you still can't remember," Logan informed him, watching him closely. "Do you
remember that? Anything after that?"
"I think I fucked someone," Duncan shook his head, concentrating. "If it wasn't
you, it must have been that girl. I don't remember."
Logan stared at him, looking for any sign that Duncan was lying. Finding none,
he finally said, "Must have been. I found you passed out in one of the
bedrooms."
He hoped Lilly would be waiting for him when he got to hell.
~
11. Kodak Ektachrome E100G Color Slide Film, ISO 100
"I think I'm going to throw up."
"Don't be ridiculous," Lilly rolls her eyes without looking up from her copy of
'Glamour' and her Mai Tai. "You can't throw up in a dream. Take a deep breath
and be thankful you're still alive."
"Duncan raped me."
"Yes, I know. I was the one who showed you," Lilly says in her usual smartass
tone before her voice softens and she drops the magazine, making her way over
to Veronica. "Did you miss the part where he was completely plastered?"
"That doesn't make it okay!"
"Of course it doesn't," Lilly says, like Veronica had just announced the sky
was blue. "Nothing could make you feel any better about it. But he was on
Lithium and Trileptal while drinking whatever the hell was in that keg. He
doesn't remember what happened either, you know."
Veronica shakes her head, turning away and choking back sobs. "God."
Lilly's hand falls on her shoulder, turns her back, envelopes her in a hug. "I
know it's hard, Veronica, but you're strong enough to deal with this. Duncan...
well, he wasn't exactly stable before I, you know, died. If he finds out what
he did to you, he may try something drastic."
"So you're saying if I confront Duncan about this, his blood will be on my
hands?"
"Well, my way wasn't so melodramatic and soap opera-y, but yeah," Lilly keeps
her arms wrapped around Veronica, strokes Veronica's hair. "I told you that you
weren't ready for your answers yet, Veronica Mars. You think this is hard to
take, you really don't want to know the whole truth about how I died yet. Trust
me."
~
Veronica doesn't know what wakes her up, but suddenly she's wrenched from
Lilly's arms and she's sitting up in her bed. Then the phone rings, and she
realizes the shrill sound must have pulled her out of sleep. She answers with a
somewhat groggy, "Yeah?"
"You are aware that it's second period and you're still at home?" Wallace's
voice comes through the line, and Veronica does a double take as she looks at
her (apparently malfunctioning) alarm clock.
"Shit!"
~
The journalism classroom turns green halfway through the period, and Veronica
looks up from her computer to find Lilly coming toward her. "Journalism,
Veronica Mars? What a waste of your talents."
"Personally, I think math is a bigger waste of my talents."
"Math is a waste of everybody's talents," Lilly nods as her hair swings down in
a curtain over them both while she looks over Veronica's shoulder. "You know,
you're dreaming now. You could get away with looking at porn!"
"Not real interested in porn at the moment, Lilly," Veronica says bitterly as
the crime scene video of Lilly lying dead on the pool deck starts playing on
the computer. "I don't want to watch this, either."
"Hey, it's your dream," Lilly shrugs. "And as much as I'd like to play Ghost of
Christmas Past for you again, the bell's going to ring any minute now and wake
you up. You're lucky you don't drool or anything."
"Yeah, 'cause my reputation could get lower."
"Check you out, Veronica Mars, you've gone all Alanis," Lilly grins as she
starts to fade away, giving a little wave. "And just since I love you, I'll
give you a little piece of advice. You know how to find out if what I showed
you was real."
Veronica's thinking about what that means even as the bell rings and wakes her
up.
~
12. Kodak Vericolor VS Tungsten Slide Film
"We need to talk."
She honestly doesn't give a shit that the entire table of 09'ers starts oohing
and ahhing at Logan as soon as they realize she's talking to him. She's more
focused on not looking at Duncan, not thinking about her dreams, not wondering
if he was really the one... Logan raises an eyebrow, but says, "Okay. Let's
go."
She doesn't dance around the issue. Even if Logan has been acting more human
toward her lately, his first loyalty will always be to Duncan. So she goes on
the offensive as soon as they're alone. "I remember."
He looks caught off-guard, clearly not knowing what she's talking about.
"Okay... You remember what?"
This is it, Veronica Mars, Lilly's voice rings in her brain. Are you sure you
want to know?
"I remember Shelly Pomeroy's party last year."
Logan turns white as a sheet.
And now she knows.
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