...so its like I'm looking through these stories the other day and its like hey these are all pretty good these writers. They like all have great imaginations you know. It must be great to know all those words and be able to put them all together and everything. Yeah sure but like you know I'm thinking something is missing. Something is very seriously wrong and it takes me a while and then its hit me and like its so totally obvious that i snort pepsi through the tiny nose she gave me. Because the problem is right in front of me. The problem is like no matter how hard you look there just aren't enough stories about Cyndy!

And like that's seriously wrong. That's radical wrong. That's nuclear wrong. Because Cyndy is where its at. I mean Cyndy is everything. And if a story doesn't have Cyndy in it then like its later for me. I'm out of here. I'll just turn on television or start yakity yakking on the phone. Like I'll just pick up the phone and dial a number and start talking. I don't even care who I'm talking. I don't even care if anyone is there I just start talking about Cyndy. You cant say enough about Cyndy. You cant even say her name enough. I think everyone should say it constantly: Cyndy Cyndy Cyndy

If a conversation isn't about Cyndy I wont even listen. I listen about a minute. No that's too long. Maybe fifteen seconds. And if someone doesn't start talking about Cyndy it's like hello why are you even opening your mouth. I'm gone, out of there, cause there's only one thing worth talking about and it's Cyndy. It's like that's the answer to every question. Like someone comes up to me in the mall and says where's such and such. Well of course I haven't a clue. It's somewhere I guess. Like its obviously not where I am so how should I know. All I know is Cyndy. So I just toss my blonde hair and smile vacantly and like say wow, you know, Cyndy rules! And they just walk off thinking what the hells up with that crazy girl but I don't care. I think your crazy if you're like not totally zonked on Cyndy!

Like do I really have to explain it? I mean its totally ridiculous. I'd rather just watch riki lake or jenny jones. I think they took jenny jones off. Well who cares? I'm not a tv guide Get real! Just flip around for a while and go to the kitchen for some chips-not! The kitchen is like a hundred yard away or something. I mean this is like a mansion, one of those big california mansions. You can get lost in here its like a mall only its has no stores or elevators or anything else a mall has and its all decorated with the best stuff. I mean I wouldn't know but it must be the best stuff because this is where Cyndy lives and Cyndy always has the best. She's the best of the best. Wow it was way too long since I mentioned her name. I almost completely lost track of what I was saying. You see what I mean its like time to talk about Cyndy cause Cyndy rules!

Yeah I was just walking down the street one day minding my own business when up pulls this silver mercedes convertible and its all white inside and sitting inside behind the wheel there's this gorgeous woman. She must be a movie star or something I'm thinking. Like I'm totally in love with her right then and there just looking at her. She's wearing all white and she even has her hair wrapped up in some kind of fashionable white thing and shes wearing these radical sunglasses and she is smiling at me and I almost fall down right there on the street cause when Cyndy smiles at you like its all over for you. Your completely finished and I'm like completely finished right there on the street. I mean I'm like still a normal girl but even then I think she made me a little horny. But I�m not a normal girl anymore but that�s OK cause I got Cyndy and like Cyndy rules!

blah blah blah I get in her car and we start talking or she's starts talking and gives me some champagne I think. I can barely talk she's so damn beautiful and we come here to this mansion and there's some guy there some guy who looks like a doctor on tv except this isn't tv. And Cyndy introduces him as somebody or other and he asks me a lot of questions about myself and then they ask me to undress and its like no big deal, you know, I don't mind. So I take off all my clothes and Cyndy offers me a pepsi and im drinking it as the doctor is poking around at me and Cyndy is asking me more questions. And its like hey why is this guy touching my pussy but who really cares? So I just stand there letting him do whatever it is he's doing because im paying attention to Cyndy, the whole Cyndy and nothing but Cyndy and that's the truth so help me god Cyndy rules!

You see Cyndy is talking to me and she's still wearing her movie star glasses and like I cant get enough of what she's saying even though I cant understand a word of it. I mean when Cyndy talks it doesn't matter what comes out of her mouth. So I don't know whether its me or her but the sound of her voice is like doing something to my mind. She's like a hypno girl such a supercool chick. She's like nothing else that's what she's like. She's completely out of this world and like I'm totally hooked, bombed, leveled out to the max, no one's left inside all the thoughts are gone im nothing but smithereens goodbye like to whoever I was forget it. Now there's only Cyndy. O you know it by now if you don't like what else can I say Cyndy rules!

So I'm lying by the pool in a bikini working on my suntan and flipping through allure magazine because allure is totally where its at. That's the magazine Cyndy reads. If you don't get allure your somewhere else I don't even know you. I like I steal this magazine every time I go to the doctor's office whether I have that issue or not. I mean it's a matter of principle. I cant believe the mega stupidity of the people who leave it there. I'm completely blown away by that kind of stuff. So I'm flipping through this stolen copy of allure and sipping pepsi and looking down at my long smooth legs and my flat tummy and the two mounds filling my bikini top and im like wow. This is really far out cause I haven't been paying that much attention to my body so all this has happened without me even noticing. Except for the regular visits to the doctor's office and the fact that I seem to be growing weaker and weaker. And then there's my hair: long, blond, and halfway down my back. And that habit I have of tossing it back and smiling vacantly everytime someone asks me something. Other than that I'm pretty oblivious everything now. Its just so much dead air, you know what I mean. The only important thing about the doctor's office is taking that allure magazine. Like my body? Give it up will you? If you're that hung up on your body forget it. Like I cant even talk to you. I'd just as soon talk to nobody. I'd just as soon talk to myself. I'd just as soon talk to the wall. I'd just as soon say Cyndy rules! I mean what's the point? When she's here im looking at Cyndy's body and when she's not im thinking about it. So like I'm so totally surprised to see my fingernails painted red and my toenails too. I wonder if I did this or they have someone come in but I don't think about that for too long. I'm looking at the sexy arches in my feet, like these feet are impossible, like these aren't even the feet I had before. Now thats far far out. I mean that's so far out even I have trouble finding my way back. These feet have high arches that weren't there before and I lift up one long tan leg after the other and admire these radical feet. And I'm thinking cool like can it get any cooler than this. I got barbie feet. Like that's what I call them, barbie feet. Wow anyone who would think to give you barbie feet must rule and that's why im always saying Cyndy rules!

Like it also explains why its been so hard to walk without heels lately. Like im always up on tiptoe as if im looking over something. I thought maybe I was going cripple or something really cool like that cause I hardly use my muscles anymore. I'm just so completely soft all over like my ass feels just so full in my skimpy bikini bottoms and my thighs and hips kind of flare our from my narrow waist. It's the best spreading suntan oil on over myself, really getting into my body for a while, making myself all slippery with oil, letting my fingers pass slowly along the front of my bikini bottom and I wonder if I'm being watched. Cause that would be the best and as I squirt more lotion on my belly I watch it fill my navel like melted butter and before you know it I'm taking my bikini top off and then shimmying out of the bottoms. And I'm like totally naked except for my movie star glasses, the same kind Cyndy wears, and that gets me to thinking of what's really important. Cause its like time I stopped thinking about myself. Cause its really booor-rrrrring and I turn over on my tummy so that my back can get tan too and my soft face is resting on my soft arm all the muscle gone. Like even a girl could beat the crap out of me now. And that's what its all about and it never would have happened without Cyndy...yup you guessed it, Cyndy rules! Hey I'm looking at my thumbnail and it looks like alicia silverstone. I mean it looks like that expression she makes when she pouts. Wow that's so cool. See its stuff like that Cyndy wants to hear. So she's got the place all wired up with tape recorders and stuff and she listens to this at her leisure cause she likes to listen to me talk about her and im like totally into it. I mean who wouldn't be its like so cool to be under her control. For instance there's this time, understand, I have to go to the bathroom, its like I have to pee, okay? I mean I'm needing to go because real real bad with all the pepsi I'm drinking it just sort of goes right through me. Anyway Cyndy wont let me go for some reason and she goes right on talking on the phone. She's smoking a cigar like madonna and watching house of style and she's like bogarted my copy of allure. But what am I going to say? So I just crouch there on my mat by the sofa which is my place when Cyndy is around and things get worst and worst, like you don't expect they'll get any better, right? Well I'm crouched there shifting around trying to get her attention and finally it just starts coming out. I'm pissing all over myself, just a big puddle forming all around me, and the pee is coming right out of my panties and Cyndy looks up for a moment and stops talking for a heartbeat or two and she smiles and pats my head and goes right on talking. Now I ask you is that cool or is that cool? Is that like what its all about or not? There's only one answer, it's a trick question, and you're wrong if you answer anything else but Cyndy rules!

So its like this. You know, once you pee yourself in front of someone you'll pretty much do anything. I mean like, duh, what do you think? Are you like even from this planet? Wow I could really use another pepsi! Cyndy loves it when I drink pepsi. She calls it the ultimate dumb girl drink but I don't care. I keep drinking it because she likes to see me drinking it. I mean I am a dumb girl so what's the big deal? I mean I'm so dumb I've forgotten how to use a spoon, like to me a spoon is very high-tech, radical high-tech. But it seems like you cant hurt yourself if you do something wrong with a spoon. You know what I mean? Like I don't even go near the forks and the knives terrify me. I like taking my food out of a bag or a box or right out of Cyndy's hand if we're like eating out or something. Its like pretty obvious to everyone what's going on, like youd have to be so totally brain dead not to realize how it is between us. But this is like california so no one pays it any mind. I mean it would so uncool if people tried to ask any questions. Like Cyndy would just totally ignore them, just totally. And they would just disappear like what can I say? That's Cyndy and if you're paying only half attention now then you know it and I know it so I won't even bother saying it. Yeah right like are you cracked or something? I mean were you like raised by wolves in a forest somewhere? I mean cant you just feel how much its just dying to be said? How nothing is complete until you finally say it? Yeah, well like it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out...........Cyndy rules!

O o o h I'm just sitting here in my panties and bra drinking pepsi and watching tv and talking to myself about going down on the guy who owns this place because Cyndy says so. She says go down on him and I go down on him like its really that simple like duh. I've got these big pouty lips now and like they didn't buy them for me for nothing. So I take this guys cock in my mouth and I start sucking away and Cyndy's watching entertainment tonight or something. I don't know I really can't hear like what do you think its not easy sucking cock. You have to pay attention. I scratch him with my teeth and there's gonna be hell to pay! So I'm looking at the cock sliding in and out of my mouth getting all full of my lipstick and spit and stuff and I'm thinking this is pretty cool. I think I still have breasts and their twice as big as before but only half as big as they are now. And like I'm thinking what am I, what am I becoming? And I'm thinking why don't you look over once in a while Cyndy? And from the corner of my eye I see her look back and like that's enough for me. And this guy he takes foooorever to come so now im talking in my head and stuff. It's like he's running a marathon or something. But at some point I vaguely realize he's cumming in my mouth and I better start swallowing so I start swallowing and well it doesn't taste like pepsi but its not as bad as I thought. So I'm pretty happy and like now everyone seems pretty happy and that's really cool. But most of all I'm watching Cyndy cause I know like I'm like supposed to be her pet or something that he got me to keep her company and I want to do a good job or boom like I'm back on the street. So I sit at her feet and just start sucking her toes like that's the only cool thing to do right then. Suck her toes while she's watching tv and reading allure and eating expensive chocolates and I have like absolutely no idea if she knows I'm there or not until she reaches down between chocolates and pats my head. there's only one law to follow and that's what Cyndy says goes and that's the same thing as saying Cyndy rules!

So I'm totally a mall rat, you know? Every day its so cool at the mall its where its at positively. Cyndy gives me enough money for bus fare and for the smoothie bar and maybe to buy myself one sexy thing and I like get dressed in something short and tight or maybe like a sarong and bikini top and all the boys are looking at me but I don't pay them any mind. Of course there are the clunky chunky platform sandals, like I can barely walk in the things, but they are the best, spice girl shoes. Hey wasn't it like the saddest day in the world when the spice girls broke up [sniff]. It was even worse than when they took beavis and whatever his name off the air. That was like the only show on tv I really understood. Sort of. Yeah like I even remember exactly where I was when I heard the news the spice girls were no more. Some cheap earring place looking for a belly button hoop. I just had to leave the store without paying for a black scrunchie and a bottle of purple glitter polish. I like still can't believe spice is really through. They were so cool. Its like you can tell exactly what a person will be like by what spice girl is their favorite its like one of those personality tests they give you at school or something me I like baby spice. Like for me there's absolutely no question that baby spice is exactly where its at. But if you have like a different opinion that's cool but like you wont be where its at. Thats why I m with Cyndy. She's at where its at even if she does like posh spice the best. See Cyndy can get away with it because shes Cyndy silly. Cyndy is always where its at even when she isnt where its at. You see where its at moves to where Cyndy's at which like totally goes against all the laws of science and god and everything but that's because Cyndy is an exception to every rule Cyndy is the rule Cyndy rules!

So it's a typical day out on the town with Cyndy. She's like meeting some people for lunch and we're going shopping in beverly hills. I'm dressed in a short white designer dress she bought me. It looks almost like a tennis dress but its even shorter and cut lower in the front. And like all I have under it is a tiny pair of white lace panties and I'm perched up on a pair of big white platform sandals but that's not all. Before we leave Cyndy calls me over and slips out a velvet jewelry case with some kind of fancy name in gold script and inside is like some kind of wide steel mesh band studded all over with diamonds. And its like the absolute most beautiful thing I've ever seen but I don't see it for long because Cyndy has me turn around and she's locking the thing around my throat. Its so tight I can feel my pulse throb against it I'm thinking of saying something but obviously she like wants it this way so I want it this way too. And then she has me bend with my arms resting on the back of the couch and I feel her flip up the little white skirt of my dress and yank down my flimsy white panties. And then I feel something hard and unyielding like pressing up against my asshole and its like oh no here we go again! But Cyndy has one hand grabbing my hair pulling my head back and the other on this damn dildo which she is slowly pushing up inside me. And god like I cant say this feels too good at all except I love hearing her talk to me as she's doing it, encouraging me. And I like do my best to wriggle my way down and soon its not feeling all that bad at all. Its kind of like being all filled up for once in my life. Like something's been put back that's always been missing. If I try real hard I can pretend its like having a little bit of Cyndy inside me. blah blah blah Cyndy pats my ass and shimmies the panties back in place and then she yanks me up by the hair unsteadily to my feet. She fastens a four-foot leash of silver rope to my collar and then pulls me outside stumbling to the limousine where the chauffer, a famous ex-boxer gone broke, is waiting with the door open and you can tell even he understands that Cyndy rules!

So that's how it is walking right along the sidewalk in beverly hills in broad daylight like what a trip! Cyndy holding the leash and walking a couple of feet ahead giving it a yank now and then as I scramble to catch up on my white platforms, my hands at my shoulders palms up, just like Cyndy taught me, forcing me to mince along each step like pushing the dildo in my ass up and down up and down. O wow its such a trip and people are watching but they're not watching this spectacle like its not even anything out of the ordinary to them. No instead they're watching Cyndy cause she looks absolutely stunning in an emerald green caftan and she's always out of the ordinary and every shop we stop in they treat her like royalty like some kind of goddess like princess diana back from the dead or something. And that only seems natural from where I stand just outside the door cause as Cyndy says sweetly even pretty little pets like me aren't allowed inside. Still I am allowed inside the restaurant because of course the truth is that pet or not I could go anywhere Cyndy wanted me because no rules apply to her Cyndy rules!

Its one of those famous restaurants that like no one can get into but for a place no one can get into its always crowded and Cyndy is shown to the most awesome table in the place of course. The whole time people are turning round to smile and greet her and like my heart is pounding because out of the corner of my eye I recognize one famous face after another. Its like total ground zero demi moore, jack nicholson, drew barrymore, jennifer anniston gwyneth paltrow , callista flockheart like all these people you only see on entertainment tonight. My heart is going a pitty-pat they are all smiling and waving at Cyndy who nods right and left and our table seems like a thousand mega light years away. But finally we get there. Her friends are already waiting and rising to greet her while I stand quietly and smile stupidly into the empty air careful like not to make eye contact with anyone. Thenl a handsome waiter brings a small pillow and I'm allowed to sit on the floor by Cyndy's chair while she chats and eats with her friends and accepts the greetings of all these unbelievable celebrities who make a special effort to come by and say hello. Cyndy greetw them with the same bored politeness that is like just so totally cool its no wonder why no wonder Cyndy rules!

Yeah yeah the operation and the hormones and the injections and all the cosmetic surgery I could go into all of that here. There are so many underground clinics like california is full of them if you know where to look and have the money like just about anything is possible and of course Cyndy has both. True like I could blah blah blah about all that but you can find it in a thousand other stories. blah blah blah. Aren't you getting tired of all that now. Its like this story isnt about me duh-uh how many times do I have to say it ding-dong anyone home like that's the whole point or are you like even more braindead than me? Cause then this was all a total waste of time! I mean like wake up or something this story is about Cyndy. It's about, how I brush her hair while she watches mtv, how I paint her toenails while she's yakety yakking on the hand-held phone with one of her movie-star pals, how I spread suntan lotion on her perfect body when she suns herself by the pool. Like its about the beautiful footprints she leaves on the hot concrete when she walks from the pool to the house, how I stare at them in wonder as they slowly fade away. It about how she loves to hear me chatter away for her, like just talk about absolutely nothing for hours on end. Like I just stand there talking it's the coolest thing. I just open my mouth and let the words come out. Like there's always something to say even if its not worth saying and that's like exactly what she wants to hear. So I keep on talking while Cyndy pretends to read with the television turned on to the view because the real talk shows arent on just yet and the red hot chili peppers on the stereo screaming give it away now. And everything is so totally cool, nuclear winter, absolute zero cool, and the coolest thing of all is when Cyndy leaves the room and I keep on talking talking to no one. Maybe she's just getting up to pee or to get another pepsi or maybe she's going to meet someone for a couple of hours like whatever. I keep on talking and when she comes back she comes back. O like that's sooo cool, north pole cool, top of antarctic freeze your toes off cool, so cool I go positively orgasmic yes o wee lets do it ive got like zero pride zero control zero will power zero self respect im like a total idiot, an empty-headed idiot. O you cant like even guess how it feels until you've been there, how great it is not to have to worry about thinking any more. O its like seeing the world for the first time for the second time in your life and its just like the song says give it away give it away give it away now o its like on every channel everywhere at once Cyndy rules!

And like what it all comes down to is that I cant even open a jar anymore. I like stare at a newspaper and try to figure out which direction the letters go. Its like im becoming weaker and stupider every single day and its so totally cool I could superfreak. , I cant wait until im just so absolutely weak and stupid I have to be reminded when to eat and when to breathe. O that would be the total best, nothing could top that, and I know that day is coming cause I have to use both hands and all my strength just to pull open the patio door, pretty soon I wont be able to open it at all. And sometimes I forget how to turn off the light like I know the switch goes either up or down but I keep making the wrong choice. Like have you ever ever heard of anything stupider than that and like who invented the doorknob like I want to know who invented the doorknob those are the thoughts I have, for two hours I stared at a doorknob wondering...