"Come again? You're a what?"
"A wizard. You know, like Merlin. Only my name is Andrew."
"So what can you do, Mr. Wizard?"
"Anything, Ms. Sandra."
"Bull."
"Try me."
That was just the start of things. The last thing Sandra needed to start her day was a thirty mile bus ride downtown next to a talkative old man. She really didn't want to talk to an old man who knew her name and claimed to be a wizard. But he seemed pretty sure of himself...
"Alright, Mr. Wizard. Can you make my breasts grow?" she asked, looking at her flat chest.
"Simplicity itself. But why? Why not ask for something more useful?" he returned.
"Cut the crap, gramps. Can you do it or can't you?"
*sigh* "Yes, I can do it, but please, wait until we get off the bus, it may be a little....cramped for what you intend." Sandra liked the sound of that.
So, ten minutes and thirty miles later, Sandra and Andrew stood on a less traveled sidewalk in a less used section of downtown.
"So?" Sandra began impatiently.
"Patience, child." Andrew said. "Casting magic isn't like frying an egg. It takes a little time."
"Well.... alright," Sandra said "but please hurry. I want to know that I didn't skip work to hang out with an ancient charlatan."
"I'll agree with ancient, but I have to take exception to charlatan," Andrew replied, reading over a few lines scribbled on the back of an envelope. "There, that should just about do it. Are you ready?"
"No, but I'll give it a shot." Sandra said.
"That's the spirit. Now, we'll start slow, just so you don't freak. One cup size up, now. SHAKAKAZAAM!!!"
Sandra looked down to her breasts expectantly.....nothing.
"Um....wait! I know what is wrong. Wrong word!" Andrew exclaimed.
"So what did that last spell do, Mr. Wizard?" Sandra asked sarcastically.
"It just so happens, that spell was supposed to do nothing." Andrew explained.
"Yeah, I bet." Sandra retorted.
"Just wait..... SHALALAKAZALAZAAM!"
This time, Sandra did feel growth.... in her jeans. "What the?!" was all she got out as her hips grew wider. Her butt stuck out further as her hips continued to spread sideways. Finally, she stopped growing, but she looked like a genie's bottle, measuring close to 28 - 24 - 50.
"Damn, wrong word again... let me try... SHAKAKHANABAAM!!!"
This time, Sandra felt a tingling on her scalp. It was barely noticeable, until she noticed hair creeping down the front of her shirt. It was then she noticed that her hair reached to her newly cushioned butt and was rapidly heading for the ground.
"Old man, if you can't do it, quit messing me up!" Sandra yelled as her hair gathered in a pool at her feet.
"Wait, wait, there's one more chance... SHALAKALAKAKALABAAM!!!!!"
This time Sandra really didn't feel anything. "What did that one do?"
"Um... nothing." Andrew quickly said.
Not really believing him, (who would?) she fished in her purse and brought out a compact. What she saw in the mirror was startling. Large, almond shaped eyes peeking out from between strands of jet black hair, set on an oriental face. As she looked at the rest of her, all her skin had been darkened a couple of shades, she looked Korean.
"I'm leaving before you screw me up anymore, old man." Sandra said, walking away.
"No wait, I can make your breasts grow, honest!" Andrew yelled after her.
"No way, man. You stink like oven cleaner. I'm outta here."
"SHABAKALAKAZAKAZAAM!!!"
As she walked away, Sandra felt a stretching in her stomach, and sure enough, in another minute's time, she was nine months along with triplets, looking like a beached Korean whale.
"Oooof!" Sandra grunted. "No good, old man, I'm still leaving. See me walking away?"
"No, wait!" Andrew called after her, "This time for sure!"
Sandra wheeled around, (as fast as a pregnant lady can,) and yelled back "Screw you, old man!"
"I wish you would." he mumbled under his breath as she walked away, "I've always had a thing for flat-chested pregnant Korean girls with floor length hair and big butts." He smiled to himself. Maybe someday he would perfect that breast growth spell...
The joke is on us. No BE for you today!
All comments, praise and damnation can be sent to: [email protected]