Refugee From the Planet of Enormous Hooters

Bobby Kent drove his pickup truck through the gathering dusk. He was frustrated. He'd gone to town that day to speak with his real estate agent, and unfortunately there had been no offers to buy his farm. He'd been struggling to make ends meet since his Ma and Pa had died in that canoeing accident, and, much to his regret, he just didn't have the passion for dairy farming that his parents had. Now he was trying to unload the farm so he'd have enough money to move into a less secluded area. He thought about the people his age who were getting ready to start college or go out and see the world, and it made him even more depressed.

When he got frustrated like this, his thoughts usually turned to his love life, such as it was. Living out in the middle of nowhere, he'd barely had any contact with other human beings. Thank God Pa bought that satellite dish before he went, thought Bobby. He didn't know how he'd survive without TV. Much to his shame, Bobby had developed a taste for some of the more risque films that were shown late at night on the premium channels. He glanced down at his lap, and realized that he was becoming aroused just thinking about the movie that he'd seen last night.

Suddenly, there was a blinding flash, and Bobby's truck swerved. He fought to regain control of the vehicle, blinking his eyes in an attempt to regain his vision. A large spherical object streaked across the sky, and landed in the middle of the field to his right, throwing up a spray of dirt and smoke as it impacted with the earth. Bobby stopped the truck and got out to investigate.

Walking tentatively towards the object, Bobby tried to determine what it was. It was smooth and round, and about the size of his pickup. He couldn't find any means of propulsion, but doubted he would have recognized it if he had. As he was examining it, he heard a soft hum coming from inside. The hum built until a crack of light appeared on one side of the vessel. The crack spread, taking the shape of a doorway. With another bright flash, the doorway disappeared, and Bobby looked inside the otherworldly transport.

The interior was brightly lit, with a chair set in the center of it. There did not seem to be any means of controlling the ship. Looking down, he saw the form of a woman lying in one corner, as if she'd been thrown out of her seat by the impact. Boy, he thought, you'd figure that anyone who could come up with a contraption like this would know enough to invent a seatbelt. Bobby paused at the entranceway, unsure whether or not he should go further.

The woman stirred. She was dressed in an odd outfit, like Bobby would expect to see in a cheap science fiction movie. Her legs were covered in knee-high black leather boots with high heels. These gave way to black leggings, and a sparkly silver skirt with frills at the top. On her torso she wore a black turtleneck, with a sparkling silver tank top over her chest. Her hair was blonde, long and curly, but pulled back behind her ears to real large hoop earrings. As her face turned towards him, she appeared to be heavily made-up.

"Wh-where am I?" She asked. Bobby thought he detected a trace of a southern drawl in her voice.

"Um, well�" Bobby wasn't sure how specific to be. "You're in a field. In Smileville. Kansas. Uh, Earth." He grinned, trying to appear friendly. Her face fell.

"Oh, then it's true!" She cried. "They did banish me. My beautiful home planet has finally cast me away."

"Um, miss?" Bobby asked. "Do you need a ride somewhere?"

She stood up, and Bobby was dumbstruck. As she'd been lying on the floor, he hadn't gotten a good sense of her figure. But that she stood before him in all her statuesque glory, he could barely remember to breathe. Her legs were long and tapered. Her hips were full, round and tightly encased in her skirt, which hugged her tiny waist. Her breasts were the largest he'd ever seen, easily the size of cantelopes, and they stood proudly on her chest. Her hair cascaded around her shoulders and down her back. Bobby was entranced.

"A ride?" She asked. "What's the point? Where can I go? What can I do?" Her lower lip quivered and she seemed near tears. Bobby's heart melted. He stepped over the threshold of the ship, and went to comfort her.

As he stepped inside, closer to her, he suddenly felt lighter. Is this what love is? He thought. He put his arms gently around her.

"Look, you don't have to be sad." He said. "Why don't you tell me who you are, and where you're from? Maybe I can help."

She looked into his eyes. Hers were big and blue, and seemed none the worse for her holding back sobs. She smiled, sadly, and pressed her body against his. Bobby became embarrassed as her realized that he was developing an erection, but she did not seem to notice.

"Oh, you're so nice." She said. "But there's no hope for me. I've been banished. Sent to spend the rest of my miserable days on this backwater planet."

"That's awful." Bobby said. "Why don't you tell me about it?" "All right." She said. "Here, have a seat." She directed him to the chair in the center of the craft. He sat down, and she perched herself daintily in his lap, with her arms around his shoulders. "Are you comfortable?" She asked. He nodded yes.

"My story is a long and painful one," She began. "You see, I come from a planet far from here. A planet called Estrogena, where evolved a race of proud, noble women. We were honorable and just, and our society was based on equality, fairness, and the vast size of our breasts."

Bobby gulped. "Really?" He asked. "So, all the women on Estrogena look like you?"

"No. I wish it were so." She looked down. "I am woefully misshapen. My pitifully small breasts were a freak accident, and they doomed me to a life of sorrow."

"Pitifully small?" Bobby was sweating. "Are you joking?"

"No. You see, on Estrogena, there are no men. We reproduce entirely by cloning. Yet, for some reason, when I was spawned an error was made by my engineeress, and I ended up like this.

"And so, I was brought before our magnificent and abundant Queen, who banished me here, to Earth, where my tiny breasts will go unnoticed, and I can live out my life in obscurity. Such is my sad fate."

Bobby swallowed hard. He gestured to her that he wanted to stand up, and they did so. He tried desperately to conceal his wanton hardness, but to no available. Fortunately, the space woman seemed to take no notice of it.

"Well, I'm afraid you've been a bit misinformed." Bobby said. "You see, you've got the biggest breasts I've ever seen. The women here on Earth are downright tiny by comparison."

"Oh, that's sweet of you to say." She replied. "But there can be no comfort for me."

"No, it's true." Bobby exclaimed. "Come on back to my place with me and I'll show you."

"All right." She said. "You're very kind to do all of this. By what name are you known?"

"I'm Bobby." He said. "What's your name."

"I was never deemed worthy to have a proper name." She lamented. "I was only ever referred to as 'Little One'."

"Huh." Bobby thought. "Well, that's not going to get you very far around here. Let's see�How about I just call you 'Lil'?"

She smiled "I think I'd like that."

Bobby led Lil out of the spaceship, and towards his truck. She had trouble walking, complaining of being tired, but Bobby attributed that to her traumatic journey. They drove on into the night. Bobby told her about himself, and what relevant information he could think of about Earth. Lil told him stories of Estrogena, and Bobby grew more excited with each passing mile.

Finally they reached Bobby's farm. As he led Lil into the farmhouse, she commented on how narrow the doorway was. "No Estrogenan woman would be able to fit through that." She said. "At least, not without turning sideways."

Bobby offered her something to eat or drink, but Lil refused. "Okay." He said. "Well, we might as well get down to this culture lesson. Here, look at this."

Bobby picked the remote control up off the coffee table, and turned on the television set. To his embarrassment, he realized that he'd left it on the same channel he was watching last night, and they found themselves staring at a particularly raunchy hardcore porn film. Lil was enraptured.

"My word." She said. "What are they doing to each other?"

"Well, um, you see," Bobby tried to maintain his composure. "They're, um, having sex."

Lil looked at him quizzically. "Sex? What is sex?"

"It's how we Earth people reproduce." Bobby said. "It's also pretty pleasurable. At least, so I hear."

"Then you have never done this 'sex', Bobby?" Lil asked.

Bobby flushed. "No, not with a woman."

"Oh." Lil returned her attention to the screen. "Are either of those people women?" She asked.

"Well, yeah. Of course." Bobby pointed at the woman on the screen, who was deep in the throes of passion. Lil laughed.

"Why, that can't be a woman." She said, incredulously. "Her breasts are non-existent.

"Actually, she's pretty well above-average for an Earth woman. Look." Bobby flipped around to other channels, giving example after example of what his home planet had to offer. Lil's eyes widened with each passing moment, and she smiled broadly.

"Bobby!" She cried. "Do you know what this means? I'm not an outcast! Why, by all legal rights, I should be ruling this planet! Quickly, take me to your center of government. I'll see to it that you are given a high position of power�

"Wait, wait, Lil. You don't understand. Here on Earth, we don't choose our leaders based on breast size." Lil's brow furrowed. "Then, what are the criteria?" Bobby explained to her the American political system, as well as the Earth's socio-political climate so far as he understood it. Lil seemed shocked. "Well, I've never heard such a silly thing. I'm going to need some time to adjust to this topsy-turvy planet."

"That's fine." Bobby said. "You're welcome to stay with me for as long as you'd like."

"Oh, Bobby." Lil hugged him. "You've only known me this short time, but you've been so nice. I wish I could repay you somehow." Lil's hand drifted down towards his crotch, where Bobby's erection still throbbed. Her eyes lit up. "I know! We'll do sex together! It will be so much fun!"

Lil began to unbutton his pants, then started removing her own clothes. Bobby watched carefully, yet couldn't divine how she got out of them. There were no seams, no buttons, no snaps or zippers. Her whole ensemble just seemed to come undone and fall to the floor around her. As she stood there in all her naked glory, Bobby was awestruck. Her bosom, freed from her clothing, jutted out from her chest, with her nipples at full attention. Her creamy white skin beckoned to him. Her eyes seduced him, and her tongue traced her fiery red lips, urging him to join it. As he looked her over one last time, a thought occurred to him.

"Lil!" He exclaimed. "You've got no cunt!"

"What?" She asked?

"Your cunt, your vagina." Bobby said. "Where is it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." She said, obliviously.

"Well, there!" he said, pointing at her smooth, hairless crotch. "There's supposed to be something there that, well, isn't there."

"Oh," She said, looking down. "Is it anything important?"

"Yes!" Bobby exclaimed. He explained to her the ins and outs of human sexual intercourse, and how it worked. She looked downtrodden.

"I'm sorry, Bobby." She said. "Like I told you, on Estrogena, we're all genetically engineered. I guess reproductive organs just weren't necessary." She looked at him enticingly. "But, we could still cuddle."

Bobby sighed. Oh well. He thought. Better with her than by myself. And the two of them settled in for the most passionate night of cuddling Bobby had ever known.

Weeks passed. Bobby and Lil grew more and more comfortable with each other. Lil was fascinated by the new environment in which she found herself. She read every book in the house, and watched the television constantly, trying to assimilate as much of the culture as she could. After a while, though, she began to feel like she was free-loading, and decided that she wanted to pull her own weight around the farm. Bobby showed her how to tend and milk the cows, and they discovered she had quite a knack for it. The cows seemed to like her, and productivity doubled. Country living seemed to agree with Lil, and she grew stronger and more robust each day. She rarely ever complained of the light-headedness and fatigue that had plagued her early days on Earth.

One day when he was in town getting supplies, Bobby saw an ad for an amateur night at a strip club two counties over. The advertisement proclaimed that there was a large cash prize. Bobby took the flier home to Lil and explained what the contest was. He was sure that as long as she kept her crotch covered, she'd be a cinch to win. For days they practiced, with Lil growing more and more skilled in the art of erotic dance with each passing day. Throughout these training sessions, they had to take frequent breaks to 'cuddle'. Lil was amazed by Bobby's penis, and took great pleasure in feeling it, stroking it, caressing it, and other forms of stimulation. In time, Bobby found the fact that they couldn't have 'traditional' sex with each other to be little more than a petty annoyance. He was in love, and wasn't going to let anything ruin it.

The night of the contest arrived, and Lil was magnificent. As she strutted out onto the catwalk, her breasts shimmying under her shirt, she could easily have been mistaken for a veteran stripper. He dance was arousing and passionate, and she won the contest hands down. As the owner of the club presented her with the $2,500 prize, he offered her a steady job. She and Bobby promised to discuss it. The winnings made their lives a little easier, and the two soon found themselves settling into a comfortable routine. Bobby greeted the start of each day as a welcome return to his happy life. That is, until one morning. The two of them had passed out on the couch the night before after an especially moving evening together. Bobby woke and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, surprised to find that Lil was no longer lying beside him. This struck him as odd, since living on a farm his whole life had gotten him used to waking with the crack of dawn. Lil was standing in the middle of the room, and much to Bobby's surprise, she was dressing in the same outfit she'd been wearing the night he'd found her. Try as he might, he still couldn't see how she got it to stay together. She seemed unaware that he was awake, and walked briskly out the front door. Bobby dressed in a hurry, and followed her.

He watched her go into the barn where they'd hidden her spaceship. They'd thought it would be foolish to just leave it lying in the middle of a field, and he'd managed to get it onto a trailer and tow it with his truck. He followed her as she entered the craft and laid her hand on one of the walls. A control panel materialized, seemingly out of nowhere, and she began typing furiously. With super-human speed and concentration she entered page after page of data into an unseen processor. After several minutes, she stopped short and stood at attention. Again, from out of nowhere a viewscreen appeared in front of here, with a regal looking figure looking out of it at Lil.

Bobby was amazed by the figure he saw. She was dressed similarly to Lil, with her hair pulled back, and framed by a thin, jewel encrusted crown. She was seated on an ornate throne. Behind her, similarly dressed women moved about, adjusting dials and controls in what appeared to be a ship just like Lil's. What struck Bobby most was that they all had the most enormous breasts. It was as though they'd stuck air pumps into themselves and filled their breasts to the size of beach balls. They each conducted themselves with confidence and grace, though, which Bobby had to admit he found arousing. The seated one spoke.

"Hello, Little One." She said. "We have received your transmission. Well done."

"I live only to serve you, my liege," Lil replied in a voice not quite her own.

"The information you have provided us is most interesting." The woman on the screen went on. "If what you say is true, then we should have no trouble conquering this simple planet."

"What?!?" Bobby yelled. "No! Lil, how could you?"

Lil turned, her face filled with shame. "Bobby! I�I had no choice."

"Who is this?" The woman on the screen asked. "Come closer, Earth Man. Meet the fate of your world." Bobby approached the screen.

"Who are you?" He demanded.

"I am Queen Abunda, High Empress of the planet Estrogena. And I am currently en route to your planet in order to take it over. You see, Little One there has supplied us with all the information we need in order to dominate your pathetic little patriarchy."

"I don't believe it." Bobby said, defiantly.

Lil grabbed his arm. "I didn't want to betray you, Bobby." She wailed. "It's in my DNA."

"That's right." The Queen went on. "Did you honestly think we would allow a horrible mutation like her to develop by accident? Her fate was determined months before she was even born. She was designed to be sent to Earth on a reconnaisance mission, so that we could learn about your ways without drawing attention to ourselves."

The Queen stood and stepped closer to the screen. Standing, her figure was even more impressive, as her breasts thrust firmly, almost menacingly outward. "And now that she has completed her task, she will reap her reward." The Queen pressed a hidden button on her ship, and Lil's body was contorted. Her face scrunched tightly, and she clutched at her chest. Her breasts began to grow, surging forward. Her formally large bosom ballooned into an absurdly vast one, matching the size of the women on the other ship. Her sparkling top was stretched tightly across her newly mammoth orbs. She ran her hands across them, and her eyes filled with wonder and joy. She looked up at Bobby, who only stared back in amazement. She ran to him, and tried to throw her arms around him, but her enormous chest nearly knocked him backwards. She drew him as close as she could, and her grabbed her tightly, straining to pull her warm, firm body as near to his as he could. Finally, their lips met, and they kissed deeply.

They were roused from their romantic interlude by an odd sound coming from outside. They disengaged, and left the barn to investigate. It took Lil a moment to get used to maneuvering with her new endowments, but she soon regained her poise and posture. Dropping slowly from the sky was a ship identical to the one Lil arrived in. It settled down gently, and the doorway appeared standing there was Queen Abunda, resplendent in her Estrogenan ceremonial garb. She addressed the two.

"So, Little One, I take you are happy with your new developments? Come and stand by my side as we prepare to conquer this Earth." Lil clutched Bobby's arm. "So, you will not join us? Sad. But, if that is your choice. You, Earth Man, are lucky. For you will witness the arrival of this planet's new rulers. From this..."She glanced at the surrounding landscape, "Barren field in the middle of nowhere, a mighty empire of epic proportions will blossom!"

With a mighty stride, Queen Abunda stepped out of the ship, onto the ground, and fell flat on her face.

Or, rather, she would have fallen flat on her face, if her enormous breasts hadn't been there to break the fall.

"What treachery is this?" She roared indignantly. She nearly managed to pull it off, too, for it's incredibly hard to roar indignantly when you're on your hands and knees with your ass waving in the air and your face half-buried in your own cleavage.

"Gravity!" Bobby exclaimed. "Of course! Estrogena's gravity must be slightly less than Earth's. It didn't affect Lil as much when she first arrived because her breasts were so much smaller."

"And in the time I've been here, my body must have adjusted." Lil piped in.

"But you," Bobby said, addressing the alien queen, "Can't handle Earth's gravitational pull! Hah! I'd like to see how you're going to conquer a planet in that position."

"It might not be as hard as you think." The Queen replied. "But you are right. We weren't prepared for these circumstances. No matter. We will return to Estrogena and find a way to overcome this obstacle, make no mistake of it." She managed to drag herself backwards onto the ship, where the artificial gravity generator allowed her to stand once again.

"You have won this day, Earth man." She proclaimed. "But rest assured that you have not heard the last of us." She jabbed the door controls with her finger, and it slammed shut before her. Within moments, the ship was rising and disappearing into the sky.

Bobby turned to Lil. "Well, I guess we won't be hearing from them for a while. I'm glad you decided not to help them conquer the Earth."

"Why would I need to conquer the whole Earth?" Lil asked, smiling. "I've got all I need right here." She hugged him again. He cupped her enormous boobs in his hands and hefted them lightly.

"I know what you mean." He said. Lil laughed.

The End.