By Mr. Pec

Gerry had been working at the Golf Course for about three months and had finally gotten used to the job. He was qualified to update the log and annotate changes. He knew his way around the course and knew where all the parking lots were. He'd also built up a rapport with the duty police officer and knew how to contact him in a matter of minutes.

Tonight Gerry was watching 'Night Court.' Some people said cable was a Godsend, but Gerry thought that more than half of what was on was crap. He had fond memories of Night Court from when he was in high school, so he stopped while he was surfing and kicked back.

He didn't mind the night shift so much because he had always been a night person. Always up until early morning. Barely up for school. The year he spent in college everyone thought he was a vampire because he only took night courses and slept all day long. Incidentally, Gerry didn't have many friends.

Regardless, he was happy. The job paid well and he didn't have to do too much in the course of a night. He was reaching for his soda when his watch beeped.

Lazily, he stood up and headed for the door. Security Guard Guideline 46A-2 instructed the sentry to make a visual inspection of all entrances and exits to ensure that no one was breaking in and trespassing. Gerry had set his watch to go off at the bottom of every hour, which was the time his supervisor preferred he make the check. At the door he grabbed his jacket and headed into the night.

The moon was out tonight so it wasn't too dark. Everything was covered in a blue glow that was lovely and ethereal at the same time. Gerry had the heart of a poet, and knew beauty when he saw it.

He headed down to the main parking area and did a quick scan of it from the top of the stairs. The lot was well lit by lamps and he really didn't feel like walking all the way around its perimeter. Feeling the main lot was secure, he headed to the front gate.

The main gate, side lot, golf cart lot and snack bar all checked out fine. He was just about to forego inspecting the back lot when he thought he heard a car horn. Listening for a moment, he could tell it was coming from the direction of the back lot. It was coming in long blasts of several seconds or more.

Gerry started jogging toward the source of the beeping and soon was at the back parking lot. In the middle of the lot was a pale blue Chevrolet van with it's parking lights on. The beeping had stopped.

Gerry caught his breath and slowly walked toward the van. As he approached he noticed that he could not see inside; there was a black curtain all the way around the front windows. 'Kids,' the thought immediately.

Many of the local high school kids knew this place was regularly patrolled, but every once in a while you got one that didn't know or thought they could avoid the guard. Gerry suddenly felt a little guilty for having almost ignored the back lot. If his supervisor had found out about an unauthorized vehicle that slipped under his nose, he'd be in for a world of hurt.

Gerry noted the van's out of state license plates and dismissed the idea that it was kids. These people were obviously unaware of the security watch. 'Lucky for him there is,' Gerry thought as well, since this person might be in trouble.

He got up to the van and pulled out his nightstick. He noticed that the curtains were pressed flat against the driver side window. Moving over to the driver side door, he rapped on the window twice. Strangely, it didn't sound hollow.

"Hello? Golf Course Security. Is everything all right?" Gerry thought he heard a muffled voice but couldn't place it. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to speak up. I heard your horn and came right over."

Again there was a voice, but very distant and muffled. Gerry moved closer and pressed his ear to the window. The voice became a little more distinct, but not clear enough to understand.

"I'm sorry, but I can't hear you! I'm gonna open the door!" He lifted the latch and found it was locked. Moving to the other side he found the passenger door locked as well.

He noted that the curtains were pressed against the windows all the way around. He banged on the door with his fist. "Hello? I can't get in the front! I'm gonna try the back door!"

Around the back he found the same black curtains pressed against the back windows. He pulled down hard on the handle and the door suddenly sprung open. Gerry was knocked back and fell on his ass.

'At least I got it open,' he thought, rubbing his sore butt. Then Gerry looked up and received the shock of his life.

Sticking out of the one open door was a large pink blob with a brown circle the size of a trash can lid in the middle of it. At the center of the circle was a large bump that looked like half a basketball. The mass filled the entire door and had the imprint of the door and curtains on it, like living flesh.

"What the hell," whispered Gerry as he approached the bizarre sight. He was just reaching out to touch the blob when he heard a muffled shout. It was coming from inside the van.

Gerry quickly unlatched the other door and it too was sprung back by a large pink blob. 'They always travel in pairs,' Gerry thought. He could hear the voice better now, and it seemed to be coming from underneath the two masses.

He tried to push the blobs apart at the center where they met and found that they were warm and definitely human flesh. Fortunately they were not very firm and he was able to lift and pry them apart. Soon he found the source of the frantic voice.

Below and between the blobs was a man laying on his back with his feet facing toward the front of the van. He was holding the ... well, boobs, Gerry decided ... away from his face so he could breath. His whole body from his neck down was covered by the enormous mammaries.

"Oh, thank God," the man gasped in relief.

"Sir, are you all right?" Gerry asked, trying to focus on the man's perilous situation.

"I am now. I was a few minutes away from suffocating!"

"What happened here?" Gerry asked, trying to get a better hold on the fleshy masses so they didn't fall back on the man's head.

"Long story," he signed. "Could you call for some help?"

Gerry rolled his eyes and got one hand to his radio. After calling for a paramedic, fire truck and tow truck, Gerry tried to pull the man out from under the breasts but found he was completely trapped by their weight. As they waited, the man explained his story.

"Donna and I were just having sex when her breasts started growing!" said the man, who's name was Henry. "I thought it was cool at first. I mean, just imagine."

"Yeah," Gerry responded, imagining his own girlfriend with larger breasts.

"She started moaning really loud and shouting about 'it working,'" Henry continued. "Once they were the size of watermelons I thought they were big enough, but they kept going. After only a few minutes they were big enough to lay on my chest while she was straddling me."

Gerry started building a mental picture and realized the end result before Henry had finished. The constant expansion of her breasts had pinned him to the floor and pressed against the doors.

"About the time she was too big for me to stay inside her I told her to stop. But she was screaming by that time and didn't want it to stop. I tried to pull myself out from underneath but they were already too big. I could hear the van creaking under their weight as they grew. Then just when I thought I was done for, they stopped."

Gerry could hear the sirens now and told Henry it wouldn't be long now.

"Oh thank you," Henry expressed. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come along when you did."

"Well, I heard the horn beeping," Gerry explained. "Donna must have been able to reach the steering wheel."

"Oh my, I forgot about her! Is she alright?!" Henry suddenly became frantic.

"I think she's okay, just trapped by the size of her breasts. Here's the ambulance."

The vehicles pulled in one after another and the EMT's and Fire-fighters jumped out to respond to the emergency. When they saw Gerry and Henry and the gigantic breasts, they just stood in shock. One of the EMT's was female, and finally broke the silence with, "Are those what I think they are?"

"Good lord," someone piped.

"Hey!" Gerry shouted, snapping them back to reality, "I got a man stuck under here! The ... owner of these monstrosities is stuck up near the front. Get the jaws or whatever and help us out!"

Everyone jumped to work in an instant. EMT's brought their kits and checked on Henry. The female put a stethoscope against one of the breasts and said she could hear a heartbeat.

The firemen set to prying the front doors open and found just another wall of flesh. It was quickly decided that they would have to cut the top of the van off to get the woman out.

Gerry and the three EMT's were able to lift enough of the breast to pull Henry out. Gerry gave him his jacket and the female took him to the ambulance. Right about then a police car pulled up.

"What's all this about then?" asked officer Galston, Gerry's friend.

"Harold ..." Gerry started, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Give us a hand and I'll fill you in."

So the firemen, Gerry and Harold started the precarious task of cutting the top of the van off. It was slow going because three people had to push and hold the flesh away from the blades of he jaws as they cut.

The EMT's tried to push their way to the woman through the passenger door but found the boobs too much to move. They were able to speak to her and reassure her that they were doing all they could to get her out.

After about an hour of cutting, the firemen were able to lift the roof off from one side like a pencil box. As they did, the breasts pushed up and out, slightly pressing the sides of the van farther out.

Donna's body was laying down on the console with her head right near the stereo. Her breasts had filled the entire space above her and she was forced to hold them apart for air much like Henry did.

As they EMT's checked her out and the firemen began cutting away the front of the van, Gerry moved in close.

"You're alright now ma'am," he said, not wanting to show his ravenous curiosity about what had happened to her.

She looked up at him, still gasping and said, "Thanks. But that old bitch was right! That was the best I've ever had!"

Everyone took a pause upon hearing this exclamation, and then erupted into laughter. Donna remained cheerful through everything, continuously cracking jokes about a new wardrobe, breast-feeding and a guest shot on Baywatch as a beached whale.

Gerry was just standing back now watching this crazy night come to an end when Henry stepped up to him. He was now wearing a spare EMT jumpsuit and handed Gerry his jacket.

"So what do we do with her now?" Henry asked jokingly. Gerry thought for half a second, and then brightened with inspiration.

He grabbed his radio and called to dispatch.

"Tina! Yeah, it's Gerry again. I want you to get me a crane, a flatbed truck, and call the Morganstein Dairy. Tell them their milking machines are going to be running overtime tonight."

-The End-