"Begin your test. You have 55 minutes."
Ms. Fussburger turned and wrote "55 minutes remaining" on the blackboard behind her. With a sigh, Billy Tooley turned to the geometry test before him. Ms. Fussburger's tests were notoriously difficult, and Billy didn't feel like he was ready for this test. His brow furrowed with anxiety.
A far cry from saving the world from evil aliens, Billy thought.
Just several days before, Billy had stumbled upon the crash site of a cosmically powerful alien who gave Billy an item of power in order to save the Earth from a maurading invasion ship of evil aliens, the Maroon, who Billy was able to vanquish with the use of the Galactic Protector's Staff -- er, Sword -- of Power after creating a -- uh -- diversion with the lingeree models captured at the Maroon's landing site and defeating the much-more-heavily-armed-than-he Maroon.
But geometry was geometery. And he needed the course to gradutate. So even though his 7-foot frame barely squeezed into his desk, and he had to make his Sword of Cosmic Power invisible at all times (because of some silly school rule about no weapons at school), here he was, facing the wrath of Ms. Fussburger's evil geometry test.
He looked at the first question and drew a total blank. It was some silly question about angles and bisectors... exactly the sort of problem Billy could never get a handle on. He sighed and his mind began to wander.
His conciousness drifted out, through the classroom, and into the sky beyond. His minds eye began to take in interstellar blackness, and purvue whole galaxies in his glance. Suddenly the answer occurred to him; angles and bisectors were easy. He knew this.
As he worked through the test, his eyes began to glow bright yellow. His mind reached out and tapped into the eternal intelligence of the cosmos. The questions began to seem childish, even pathetically simple. He worked quickly, pausing to check his work every now and then, but as trivial as the problems were, there was no chance of mistakes.
He wrote out the answer to the last question to 20 decimal places, then put down his pencil. He stretched his arms out and breathed a sigh of relief.
At the front of the class, Ms. Fussburger was erasing the blackboard. Then she looked at her watch, and wrote, "50 minutes remaining."
Billy slapped his forehead loudly, drawing a sharp look from Ms. Fussburger. Then he turned back to the front page of his test and pretended to be thinking about it.
Looking at the geometry problem, he suddenly realized that if space is indeed a matrix carrying information in which matter is a transitory state and energy represents the migration of matter between states, but carries state information with it as well, that in a curved Universe, an overlapping matrix of energy vectors and matter states could lead to dimensional portals if....
Hm, he thought. Sally's bra is showing through the side of her dress.
He stared a little harder, and with a mental kick, nudged the side of her dress a little wider. Now he could see her bra clearly. She shifted a little, and he could clearly see the swell of her breast.
Hm... swell...
There was a little huff, and Billy looked up to see Ms. Fussburger glaring at him. Sheepishly, he lowered his gaze back to his test.
"Billy Tooley!"
Billy cried out, "What!"
Ms. Fussburger stood and glared evilly at Billy. "Billy Tooley!" she exclaimed. "Please be quiet during the test!" A few of the students around him snickered.
"Billy Tooley!"
This time he focused his thoughts, and projected mentally, not verbally, "WHAT?"
"Billy Tooley!" A gray face began to materialize in front of him.
"The Galactic Protector!" Billy projected mentally.
"Billy Tooley, I am dying." came the thought-voice of the Galactic Protector.
Billy rolled his eyes.
"Don't roll your eyes at me!" snapped the Galactic Protector. "Can't you hear the agony in my thoughts?"
Billy thought, "Sorry."
"You should be," shot back the Galactic Protector. "I would not be in this mess if someone hadn't stolen my Staff... er.. Sword of Cosmic Power."
Now Billy was genuinely alarmed. "I didn't steal it! I tried to give it back, but...."
"OK, OK. But the time has come for you to repay the favor that I gave to you and your planet. You must come to this world and save it from treachery and evil." The thought-voice grew somber. "By the time you come here, I will be dead."
"Unless you use your amazing cosmic powers to save yourself...." muttered Billy.
"What was that?" snapped the Galactic Protector.
"Uh... nothing. How can I help?"
"Come to the world of Bablaxu. I have been ensared in a devious trap, and have precious few moments of life left."
"I can't leave here! The test..."
"What are you, new? Slow time down and create a robotic simanculum of yourself. You will be back before anyone realizes the robot is smarter and better looking than you are. Now, I am going to beam you a mental image of where Bablaxu is in the galaxy. There. Now hurry. I will try to ward off the evil with my last precious drops of life energy."
"I will hurry, Galactic Protector! Hold on as long as you can!" Billy looked up at the clock. 48 minutes remaining for the test. His eyes glowed as he stared at the clock, and the second hand froze in its tracks. Next he stood, and pulled out his Sword of Cosmic Power. It, too, glowed for a moment, and an exact duplicate of him appeard -- all seven feet of him, clothed in a glowing white bodysuit of some uncomfortably clingy material, with a big yellow sun on the chest. It was hunched over the tiny desk as if deep in thought.
He glanced around the frozen room. Then, as an afterthought, he stepped forward and peered brazenly down Sally Hathaway's dress. Was it just his imagination, or was the bra tighter now than when he was peering at it a few moments ago? Now it seemed like the flesh was squeezing out over the top a little....
"Billy Tooley! Now, please!"
"Oh, sorry."
Billy held the sword before him and leaped into the air. He rememered to dematerialze only an instant before he hit the ceiling of the classroom. Then he went on a voyage of amazing speed and magificance, witnessing such cosmic wonders of such unspeakable beauty that there's no way a two-bit hack like this storyteller could possibly describe them. Then, it seemed like only moments later, Billy approached a lovely blue-and-pink world that he knew was Bablaxu.
"I am here, Galatic Protector!"
"Hurry, Billy... may be... too... late...." The Galactic Protector's mental voice faded into nothingness.
He descended to the surface of the planet, and landed in a large city. He guessed it was some sort of capital, because of its size.
The buildings were tall and spired. They were all made of some shiny material in soft pastel colors. The streets were pink, and yellow banners topped the street lights. A warm sun shone down on him as he strolled toward a large building toward the center of town.
The women were all beautiful, wearing light, skimpy robes, or blouses with short skirts. He could peer down many of their openings easily, and saw no evidence of bras. As the skirts hiked up as the women climbed stairs, he saw no evidence of underwear either. He could grow to like this world.
There were only two things troubling him.
First, there were no men that he could see anywhere. Usually that would have been great -- increasing the babe-to-Billy ratio and all -- but it was becoming unsettling.
Second, the women had really tiny breasts. All of them. Not that Billy minded. Oh, no. Of course not. All the women were very cute, very nubile. They just weren't -- buxom. At all. Not that that was a problem, of course.
Billy entered a square, and the smallishness of the women's breasts was beginning to really trouble him. I mean you'd *think* that every now and then...
He froze in his tracks. Now he knew where the men were. Before him a man wearing only leather shorts and a collar was shovelling coal into some sort of opening. The collar was chained to a ring in the street beneath him. He stopped for a moment to wipe the sweat from his brow.
Instantly a small-breasted woman appeared and smacked the man with a leather whip. "Get back to work, slave!" she said loudly. But it was slightly off, as if she didn't have her heart into it. The man sighed, then said loudly, "Yes mistress. My goal is to only to serve and please." He bent back to work, but Billy noticed that very briefly, the woman reached out and placed her hand on his. Then she looked around nervously, smacked him with the whip one more time, and left.
Billy was horrified. This was way too kinky for an impressionable 15-year-old, even one imbued with tremendous cosmic powers.
"Welcome to Bablaxu!" came a warm voice behind him.
He turned, and faced a gorgeous woman with black hair, beaming a glowing smile at him. She spoke again. "Welcome to Bablaxu! I hope you will enjoy your stay on our beatiful planet." She held out a brochure. "This tourist guide will help you find the important..." she paused and eyed him meaningfully... "sites. If you are just visiting, you will find lists of places to meet..." again she shot him a meaningful look... "other tourists like yourself. Or if you plan to move to Bablaxu, there is a list of leatheries where you can be fitted with collar and chains." She paused dramatically. "On behalf of the Great Emperess Josillda, I wish you a pleasant visit!"
Billy took the brochure, and looked again at the woman. She was really quite striking. Beautiful, seemingly intelligent, and well proportioned. Except... something was a little off. He figure was wonderful, but it was almost as if there were something... missing.
She was clearing her throat quietly and glancing pointedly down at the brochure he was holding.
He opened it, and read aloud, "Meet me at midnight in the garden.... OW!" She had stomped his foot, hard, and all his cosmic powers didn't stop it from hurting like a son of a bitch. She gave him a look, then smiled again, and wandered off into the crowd.
Hm. He read the note inside the brochure. She wanted to meet him at midnight in the garden across from the palace. In parentheses it said, "(the palace is the big building in the center of town, in case you have trouble figuring out the map)."
Billy nodded thoughtfully. A midnight meeting would surely reveal a lot about the evil that had seized this planet.
----
Midnight came almost before Billy expected it, and he found himself running down the streets because it had gotten a little later than he expected. As he reached the garden, he slowed his pace to a casual saunter. He was just about to start whistling and gazing at the sky innocently, when he heard a faint, "Psssst!"
He looked over and saw the black-haired woman peeping out from the bushes. He opened his mouth, but she instantly ran her fingers across her lips in the intersellar signal meaning, "zip it."
He sauntered casually over in her direction, then ducked into the bushes.
"I am glad you came. I am Teela, the leader of the resistance."
Billy, suddenly very interested in impressing Teela, nodded. "Ah, the resistance."
"Yes, we are dedicated to stopping the Evil Emperess' plan."
"Of course. The plan." Billy nodded knowingly.
Teela lit up with pleasant surprize. "Then you already know about her plan?"
"Uh... um... well sure. Her plan."
"Good. Then you are just in time. We are going to make our move, and we need you to go in and stop the key part of her plan. Once you have done that, we will move to take back the city from the Emperess' minions."
Billy thought, my God she is really cute. "Maybe afterwards we could... I mean you and I might...."
"First we have to stop the plan!" exclaimed Teela. "I am surprized that you can think of anything else!"
"Oh, I wasn't... I was just thinking..."
Teela grabbed him by the hand and lead him across the garden. Then she lifted a grate that was hidden by the bushes and said, "Here is the secret entrance into the palace. You must take it and stop the key part of the Emperess' plan. We will do the rest."
Billy suddenly blushed. "Um... er... I think I'm a little fuzzy about which part of the plan is the key part...."
Teela smiled at him. "You're so silly. Please hurry, and good luck!" She leaned forward and planted a light kiss on his cheek, then shoved him into the opening at their feet. He landed with a loud thud.
---
The passage was dark and smelly, so Billy had two thoughts. First, get out of the underground tunnel and into the palace, and second, since he didn't have any better ideas, to just find the highest place in the palace and hope the empress was there, hatching her evil plan. Whatever that was.
His instincts paid off, and after some time of creeping through the halls of the palace and hoping his glowing body suit would not give him away, he climbed the stairs of a particularly tall spire. The stairs ended in a partly open door, from which eminated a strange, pulsing light.
Billy nodded knowingly. A strange, pulsing light virtually guaranteed he was in the right place.
He crept to the door, then eased it open. Looking inside, he saw a strange crystal column that was the source of the pulsing light. The column, although it was made of bright crystal, nonetheless seemed to buldge and heave oddly in the shifting light. He crept inside.
He was just starting to think, "This is way too easy," when a voice cried out, "AHA!"
Painful bands of energy grabbed him and threw him against one wall. He was stretched out spread eagle against the wall, and his Sword of Cosmic Power fell helpless to his feet. He looked up and saw the Galactic Protector bound similarly against the opposite wall.
"Galactic Protector!" he cried happily.
The Galactic Protector beetled his gray eyebrows at Billy and muttered, "...didn't it seem to you that was just a little too easy?"
Billy smiled, "I was just thinking that! Oh well, I will just use my Sword of Cosmic Power to cut us free of these energy bonds... hang on...." He strained to reach down and get the glowing sword at his feet. "Umph... just gotta.... I can't reach it!"
The Galactic Protector rolled his eyes. "It wouldn't be much of a trap if you could."
"I know! I will use my amazing cosmic powers to reach out telekinetically to grab the sword!" He focused his thoughts, and began to concentrate when a woman stepped into the room.
"Billy Tooley! I see you have fallen into my trap!" She exclaimed. She was dressed in bright purple robes, and had long black hair that was pulled back tightly and braided in a long braid that reached down to her waist. She carried a staff with a glowing ball on the end.
Billy grunted, "Well, yeah, but it's not going to last long. Then I'm going to stop your evil... plan." He gathered his thoughts to grab the sword.
"There is one problem," said the Empress. "Your cosmic powers are ruled by your mind, and like all men, your mind is ruled by your penis. Behold!" She raised the staff, and the strange pulsing light from the crystal column shot forward and hit Billy in the crotch.
We winced, but surprizingly, it didn't hurt. In fact, it felt good. It felt really good. He said, "Ooooooooo...."
The Empress smirked. "Well. So much for the good guys. Well, now it is time for me to carry out my plan."
The Galactic Protector shook his head. "Billy doesn't know what the plan is."
The Emperess looked surprized. "I thought he did." The Galactic Protector shook his head. "Well. OK. I can't let you die without knowing what the plan is." She waved her staff at the glowing crystal column in the center of the room. "This is the culmination of all my efforts. For many years, I ran a fitness center right here in the capital city. But I found that as much as women wanted to lose weight, they still wanted to gain weight in their breasts.
"This was perplexing and infurating to me. Especially since I was never very... big... myself. So I began to wonder why. Then I saw the effect that breasts have on men. This was fascinating. I determined that if I could somehow control the breast energy of the world, then I could rule absolutely.
"I toiled for many years, and put together a crack team of scientists -- all smallish-chested women like myself -- to create a device that would draw the breast energy from the women of the planet. We succeeded. What you see here is the culmination of our efforts. This is the combined breast energy of all the women of the planet, stored here for me to use to establish my rule.
"Of course, once all the breast energy was gone from the planet, all the men became apathetic and lethargic, so enslaving them became easy.
"The next step is to start beaming my breast energy absorber at the other civilized planets of the galaxy, and one by one I shall rule them as well. With you and the Galactic Protector entrapped, and soon to die horribly, there will be nothing to stop me!" She tilted her head back and laughed maniaclly.
Suddenly another voice cried out. "There is one flaw in your plan!" Teela stood in the doorway.
Billy smiled giddily. "Teela! Nice to see you!"
Teela said, "Hi, Billy. There is a flaw in your plan, Emperess!"
The Emperess smirked at said, "Really? And what flaw is that?"
Teela stood defiantly, and thrust her flat chest out. "You have miscalculated. You are using breast energy to imprison Billy and the Galactic Protector, but breast energy strengthens men, it does not weaken them."
The Galactic Protector suddenly perked up. "She's right!"
The Emperess scowled. "It seems to be doing a number on Billy here." They all looked over at Billy who was looking back and forth between them all dizzily.
Teela said, "Billy, you must use the breast energy to break free of your bonds!"
Billy said, "Huh?"
Teela stamped her foot. "Please, Billy. At least try."
Billy focused the power that was streaming into his crotch, and directed it to his arms. His muscles buldged. He snapped one arm free. Then he strained again. His other arm snapped free. He bent down and grabbed the Sword of Cosmic Power and cut the bonds that held his legs. He strode to the center of the room where the evil Empress stood.
He raised the sword and cried, "Now you will face the wrath of the MIGHTY SWORD OF COSMIC POWER!"
He stopped, and turned to the Galactic Protector. "Wait. I can't hit her."
The Galactic Protector cried, "Look, this isn't Earth! There's no such thing as chivalry on this planet!"
Billy shook his head. "Hey. I know what the problem is." He shot a knowing look at Teela. "Time to put a stop to the 'key part' of her plan." He snatched the Emperess' staff from her, and swung it at the column of crystal as hard as he could.
Teela, the Empress, and the Galactic Protector cried out at once, "Stop!" but it was too late. Shards of crystal flew everywhere. The strange pulsing light burst free and started flashing around the room.
Teela said, "Uh-oh."
The Emperess punched him in the arm. "You idiot! That was an entire planet's worth of breast energy! And it all has to go somewhere!"
Teela was staring down her top at her flat chest. "Oh, no. Here it comes." Buldges appeared under the soft fabric of her light dress. Then the buldges grew. At first they just pushed forward, but then they began to gain weight and droop. Suddenly Billy realized what had been missing about her figure. She should have naturally had quite large breasts.
The Empress, too, was rubbing her new breasts. Soon they filled her hands, and pushed out between her fingers.
Billy and the Galactic Protector watched, entranced. Then the Galactic Protector said, "Quickly! Take Teela away from here! There is so much breast energy here that she is likely to explode!"
"But what about the Empress?"
The Galactic Protector's gray face grew stern. "I will take care of her."
Teela had folded her arms under her swelling breasts to support them, and they were growing at an increasing rate. Billy leaped toward the Galactic Protector, and cut his energy bonds with a single swooping slash of his sword. Then he jumped over to where Teela was swelling ever faster.
He wrapped an arm around her waist, and noted that her breasts were already reaching down that far. He said, "Hold on," and there was an awkward moment as they tried to negotiate the right position where she could hold him without her massive breasts getting in the way. Then he leaped up and flew to the window.
He glanced back briefly, and saw the Emperess rubbing her enormous breasts, which were round and full, and starting to reach her thighs. She had a delighted expression on her face, and squeezed them pleasurably. "This is wonderful!" she cried.
Billy leaped from the window and took flight.
He landed far below in the central square where the women of the resistance were gathering to free the city from the Emperess' clutches. They all pointed in wonder at Teela's enormous mammaries, which were still growing slightly. Teela reached around to touch her nipples, and said, "I absorbed a lot of breast energy in there... I hope it stops soon."
Suddenly, one of the women in the square pointed and shouted, "Look!" They all looked up to the Emperess' spire. A huge nipple was sticking out of the window there. Then there was a rumbling, and a cracking, and the walls of the room began to shudder. Then they fell away.
A strange light seemed to pour down as two gigantic breasts pushed toward the night sky.
The light washed over the square, and all the women squealed with glee. One by one, their chests began to fill.
Quickly men scrambled into the square, tearing off their chains and collars, and escorted the rapidly swelling women away. The man Billy had seen before stopped, his arms wrapped around the woman who had whipped him, now smiling and buxom. He said, "Thank you, Billy. Our world will be forever indebted to you." Then they hurried off into the night.
Billy looked back at Teela, who was still experimenting with the sensations in her enormous hooters. She paused long enough to give him a seriously meaningful look.
And on the Emperess' tower, the gigantic pair of breats began to jiggle and heave, and some say they could her the Emperess' voice crying out in ecstasy. Somebody somewhere started shooting off fireworks.
----
Billy raced back through the cosmos, and landed just as the last students, in galacial slow motion, handed their test to Ms. Fussburger. Billy looked at the blackboard. It said, "0 minutes remaining."
"Damn!" he said, and quickly waved his sword. The robot mimic of him vanished, and he scooped the test off the desk. He stared at the clock for a minute, and the second hand started marching forward as usual again.
As he handed the test to Ms. Fussburger, she said rather unsympathetically, "Well, I hope that test wasn't too hard."
Billy smiled and shrugged. "Actually, it was kind of fun." He stopped and look at the glowing sword in his hand. "Oh, shoot. I forgot to give this back again. Hope the Galactic Protector won't need this for a while." Then he turned and hurried out the door to Biology class.
the happyguy happy always, always happy