Prologue

Everyone needs a hero, that is, someone upon whom they can count to defend the values they share and the things they hold dear. In the BE world, that type of person did not exist...until now. Suddenly, in the face of worldwide disaster, seven valiant champions of breast expansion and general big-boobery unite across the world to fight for Truth, Justice, and the Female Breast.

MrHHHï¿½ï¿½the heroï¿½s hero. Sent from the dying planet of BoobTon, the Earthï¿½s radiant yellow sun makes him virtually indestructible. He has super strength, super speed, invulnerability, myriad breathing powers, and multi-functional eyes. His lone fatal weakness: breast milk. His planet exploded when it became too full with the substance, resulting in his journey to Earth.

Prophet Tenebraeï¿½ï¿½the enigmatic thinker. Orphaned at a young age by a group of flat-chested thieves, he trained himself to the highest possible physical and mental condition. Now, as Breast Prophet, he seeks revenge on those who murdered his parents, while championing the development of small-busted females through his multi-billion dollar corporate empire and with Prophet Tenebraeï¿½s generous, public philanthropy. His theory: busty women donï¿½t have to commit the crime that killed his parents.

Q-BEï¿½ï¿½the fastest being in the universe. Bombastic and talkative, but charismatic and loyal, Q-BE has a connection with the divine BE Force. It enables him to perform astounding feats of agility, speed, and endurance, among other things. He jumps to conclusions quickly. Filled with witticisms, but lacking tact, he tends to act first and think second. He has an quasi-religious infatuation with Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Harleyï¿½ï¿½the voluptuous Amazon. Mystical, angelic, and feminist to the core, Harley is a goddess among mortals. Attired in brass and gold, she seeks to protect Boobyscyra, her mythological island home. Her magic lasso can force anyone to shape and bend to her will and extract the truth from the tightest lips.

Tinaï¿½ï¿½the war-hawk Boobagarian. Accidentally transported to Earth, she has no idea where her home planet of Boobagar exists. She carries a mystically-powered, electrically-charged mace at all times, ready to fight anyone whom she perceives as a threat, and she roams the Earth in search of information on her homeland.

HighwayStrangerï¿½ï¿½the holder of the mystical BE Ring, which is also powered by the BE Force. Channeling its energies through the ring, he can project force fields of all shapes and sizes and do a variety of tasks. Sheathed in its blue glow, he can exist in outer space without any protective vehicles or spacecraft.

BillPrattï¿½ï¿½the Martian Breasthunter. His legendary red eyes envision a future full of big-breasted women. When his race of powerful psychics was eradicated from the face of Mars by a race called the REHABBERS, he traveled to Earth and was captured by humans searching for alien life. His current location is unknown.

Together with all the heroes of the world, they will seek to fight any evil that threatens their ï¿½adopted" home and try to bring their turbulent, ever-changing world into balance, helping womensï¿½ boobs to grow ever bigger in the process...

Episode Iï¿½ï¿½United We Stand, Divided We Fall

Chapter 1: A Heroï¿½s Limits

ï¿½LOOK! UP IN THE SKY!ï¿½

ï¿½Itï¿½s a BIRD!ï¿½

ï¿½Itï¿½s a PLANE!ï¿½

ï¿½No, look! Itï¿½s MrHHH!ï¿½

A cheer erupted from pedestrians as MrHHH rocketed past the crowded streets of Boobopolis on his way to stop the on-going burglary of yet another Breast Expansion Associates Salon. A dozen masked bandits each had bags of cash and valuables, and were quickly making their escape from the shopping complex in four armed vehicles.

Armed this time, MrHHH mused. You might as well put a hunting dog up against squirrels with acorns.

The bandits split up at a highway interchange, with two of their cars heading east towards the city center, and two heading west towards the vast wooded countryside outside Boobopolis. MrHHH rolled his eyes and vectored towards the cars nearing the city. As they drove up the ramp, he made his move. Faster than the crooks could blink, MrHHH appeared in front of the lead car. Hot slugs sprayed from machine guns and bounced harmlessly off MrHHH as he focused his eyes on his prey.

In the two cars, the drivers suddenly felt very warm. They powered up the A/C, to no avail. Sweat pouring from their brows, they felt like they were burning up. However, MrHHH was not frying their brains.

SPROING! SPROING!

D-cup breasts appeared on each of the thieves, contorting their sweaters and shirts. Not only that, their penises stood painfully at attention in their tight pants, while their nipples stood similar guard on their newly-grown endowments. Astonished at their plight, the crooks lost complete focus on their driving as they each instinctively fondled their very own bosoms. Since they were driving on a tilted ramp, none of this would turn to their advantage. The two cars careened off into the marshy brush adjacent to the ramp.

SPALOOOOOOOSH!!!!

Theyï¿½ll sink just far enough to trap them in the vehicles, but not enough to drown them or damage the valuables, MrHHH chuckled. Boobs: they distract men every time theyï¿½re tried. Too bad my ï¿½visionaryï¿½ skills are only temporary. He smirked and zoomed into the air as police arrived to apprehend the bandits.

MrHHH caught up with the other set of robbers as they hightailed down the freeway with police nowhere to be found. Ahead of them was an exit to a long stretch of thickly-wooded roadway, the suburbs of Boobopolis, the place where the bandits wanted to disappear into the woodworkï¿½ï¿½literally. A concrete bridge, spanning the Boobopolis River, was all that lay between the thieves and potential freedom. MrHHH concentrated and took a deep breath.

WHOOOOOOOOOSH-CR-R-R-R-RACKLE-CRACKLE!!!!

The crooks reached the bridge just as MrHHH finished icing it with his super-chilled wind. In a last-ditch effort, both cars slammed on their brakes, but they fishtailed wildly, smashing into the bridge and each other, screeching to a halt ensconced firmly between the bridgeï¿½s dividers. The aptly-monikered ï¿½man of cleavageï¿½ landed gracefully to admire his handiwork.

MrHHHï¿½s presence was already causing a traffic slowdown on the bridgeï¿½s other side. He calmly gripped both car wreckages and dragged them to the roadside as if they weighed nothing. Having cleared the traffic lanes, he extricated the unconscious fugitives, who were female. ï¿½You should drive more carefully,ï¿½ MrHHH intoned gravely. ï¿½Bridges are notorious for icing.ï¿½

Ripping apart the second car, he finally pulled their leader clear. He noted appreciatively her abundant cleavage. Adorned in a black, spandex, front-zip jumpsuit, her breasts stood out clearly from her lithe body. Taking a moment to drink in this pleasant vision, he didnï¿½t notice her hands slowly unzipping the outfit.

Suddenly, the ï¿½unconsciousï¿½ woman awoke, exposed her left breast and squeezed it.

ï¿½What theï¿½ï¿½AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!ï¿½ MrHHH clutched his face as his eyes burned as only breast milk could burn them. Disoriented and weakened, he staggered over to the bridge railing, slipped on the newly-formed ice, and tumbled straight into the river.

SPALOOOOOOOSH!!!!

Et tu, boobies? the defeated hero mused. The breast milk, having infected his eyes, now affected his full powers of observation. For now, he was out of commission. The head criminal roused her cohorts, and they made their final escape. MrHHH swam to the surface and headed across the riverï¿½s currents to where land would eventually greet him. Reaching the shore, he began the miserable wait until his powers returned.

ï¿½Today, in the city of Boobopolis, MrHHH was stymied in his attempts to protect yet another B.E.A. salon from ravaging by an unknown criminal organization, the likes of which we havenï¿½t seen sinceï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

MrHHH, or ï¿½Erik Nimdabotï¿½ (pronounced nymn-DEH-bought) as he was called when incognito, clicked off the late-night TV news in disgust. Once again, he had acted on instinct and forgotten the cardinal rule of crime-fighting: The battle isnï¿½t over until the fugitives are in custody. As he lay in his (unnecessary) bed, he couldnï¿½t help but wonder what he could have done differently. The phone rang and rang, but he didnï¿½t answer, and finally, his answering machine picked up.

ï¿½Hey Erik, itï¿½s Tamara! I called to see how my favorite BE fetish reporter was doing! I have a potential lead. Give me a call! Bye!ï¿½

He lunged for the phone as she finished her message. ï¿½Hey, Tamara, itï¿½s Erik. Iï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

The eternal drone of the dial tone rang hollow, and MrHHH struggled not to slam down the receiver through several floors.

As he headed to his job as an reporter for Our Busty World the next day, MrHHH/Erik pondered the recent attacks on BE salons, which were part of Prophet Tenebraeï¿½s ProphetCorps, the company funding the money behind the growth of the worldwide BE phenomenon. Upon arriving at the buildingï¿½s entrance with his usual donuts and coffee, Erik put aside his thoughts, breathing deeply. He strode purposefully through the giant revolving-door entrance of the paperï¿½s headquarters, and, while riding up the 3 stories to the main pressroom, he mentally recited his favorite positive-thinking quote. Upbeat and cheery, today I will be. If I lose cheer, the blame is on me.

The doors opened, and MrHHH immediately encountered a most unpleasant sight: Prophet Tenebrae sweet-talking Tamara Tame at her desk. MrHHH huffed his breath and stuffed a piece of donut in his mouth. So much for cheer.

ï¿½--and that is why I never go out without a mint tin,ï¿½ Prophet chortled, and Tamara appeared to swoon. Part billionaire, part sullen genius, and part pain in the ass, there were not many things to which Prophet Tenebrae did not have access, but Erikï¿½s MrHHH persona was one of them, and so was Tamara Tame. Erik wasnï¿½t sure where Tamara stood with Prophet, but he was sure he didnï¿½t want Prophet any closer to her than necessary.

Tamara spotted Erik first, and waved enthusiastically. ï¿½Erik! Great news! Prophet Tenebrae told me more about the recent crime spree on the B.E.A. salons, and I think we have a lead on the identities of the salon robbers, you know, the ones who got away yesterday.ï¿½

Erik said nothing as he arrived at his desk and settled in.

ï¿½ERIK!ï¿½

Erik held up his hand, signaling he had food in his mouth. Tamara groaned in frustration.

ï¿½The criminals may have outwitted MrHHH yesterday,ï¿½ Prophet intoned in his usual somber manner, ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½but they did leave behind some evidence in the wreckage. Apparently, they used a rare, cream-like product which could only be described as breast milk. We traced the product to a lab in Gottits Cityï¿½ï¿½a lab for my company. Needless to say, Iï¿½m shocked.ï¿½

ï¿½It was breast milk because the woman squirted it out of her breast at me,ï¿½ Erik interjected, generating confused looks from Prophet and Tamara. ï¿½Um, uh, wasnï¿½t that what MrHHH said after the incident yesterday?ï¿½ he added hurriedly.

ï¿½The only question is why ProphetCorps would be involved,ï¿½ Prophet pondered. ï¿½Itï¿½s obvious this is what the criminals used to make their escape.ï¿½ Erik leered at Prophet, who looked innocently perturbed.

ï¿½Even though you might not be culpable for these rogues, Prophet,ï¿½ Erik continued, ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½such an oversight might be perceived malevolently...ï¿½

Piqued, Prophet turned to face Erik, who correspondingly stood up to his full stature, which was slightly more than Prophetï¿½s own intimidating posture. The wealthy manï¿½s gaze darkened even further as he came within inches of Erik.

ï¿½And if I am perceived malevolently?ï¿½ he hissed.

ï¿½There will be consequences,ï¿½ Erik whispered.

ï¿½Of course.ï¿½

A silent stare-down ensued. Seconds, minutes, hours, and days seemed to pass between these towering figures. The press room grew hushed, as though it were calming before the storm, or perhaps, because neither man was paying the room any heed. Neither man budged, and neither man flinched. Subtlely, instinctively, both men tensed for a fight.

ï¿½OK! Hello, Mr. Tension, meet Mr. Knife!ï¿½ Tamara broke the deafening silence. ï¿½Letï¿½s break it up, boys!ï¿½ Both men, broken from their trance, returned to their places at the open-air cubicle. ï¿½Back to MrHHH. Criminals around the world now know that MrHHH isnï¿½t invincible anymore. Plus, with all his extra work and the effects of the cream, he probably hasnï¿½t been up to himself lately.ï¿½

ï¿½I guess that means weï¿½ve found a heroï¿½s limits?ï¿½ Prophet smirked.

ï¿½You could say that.ï¿½ Erik grumbled, but tried to mask his obvious displeasure at the prospect.

ï¿½Erik, Tamara tells me you are able to contact MrHHH on occasion. Could you do so now?ï¿½

ï¿½At times, he has answered me, yes, but Iï¿½m not totally sureï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

ï¿½OK!ï¿½ Tamara quickly shouted. ï¿½You do that, Erik, and get started on the paperwork to turn this into a case. Prophet and I are going to hunt down tomorrowï¿½s lead story!ï¿½

Erik sighed as he watched Tamara head toward the elevator in a flurry of activity, with Prophet Tenebrae following at a steady pace. Upbeat and cheery, he thought. Only one guy I know whoï¿½s guaranteed to be just that.

Chapter 2: All In A Dayï¿½s Work

ï¿½LOOK! UP IN THE SKY!ï¿½

ï¿½Where?ï¿½

ï¿½Psych!ï¿½

Q-BE scurried away unnoticed as only he could. Although he was attired in the gaudiest of full-body red spandex outfits, with his yellow initials adorning both sides of his spandex hood and a gold-plated image of Jennifer Love Hewitt gracing his chest, plus bright yellow boots, he had no need to fear being seen. He was simply too fast to be detected by the human eye. He raced around the city in just seconds, with mere inches of vehicle clearance on either side of him as he avoided Boobopolisï¿½ morning rush-hour traffic.

Just as he approached the city center and thought he was in the clear, a well-known figure with five letters emblazoned across his chest appeared directly above him, matching Q-BEï¿½s speed while in flight. Q-BE dodged left, then right, then left again, under tractor-trailers and around pedestrians, but each time, the flying man matched his move. Damn those superhuman eyes...

ï¿½I heard your little stunt and knew it could only be you, Q-BE.ï¿½ MrHHH vectored closer to Q-BE as they approached a municipal tunnel.

ï¿½Aw, come on, MrHHH! It was only a little stunt.ï¿½ Q-BE corkscrewed through the tunnel, completing 5 revolutions while barely avoiding just as many collisions.

ï¿½Little stunts quickly become BIG stunts if someone isnï¿½t there to enforce the peace.ï¿½ MrHHH swerved to the right of a line of massive tractor-trailers as Q-BE swerved left. They continued their conversation unencumbered, tracking each other through the spaces separating the trucks they passed.

ï¿½Look, I didnï¿½t commit a crime here. Go find someone to rescue, Mr Havenï¿½t Had Humor.ï¿½ The line of 18-wheelers at an end, the dynamic duo approached downtown.

ï¿½You know, itï¿½s times like these I wonder how you got into this superhero business in the first place. And that jokeï¿½ï¿½it was a stretch.ï¿½ MrHHH turned his gaze to face Q-BE on his left.

ï¿½You could say I ran into it! And that joke was funny! Iï¿½ve been saving it for a moment like this!ï¿½ Q-BE briefly returned MrHHHï¿½s gaze with a smirk, but only briefly...

ï¿½HELP! PLEEEASE HELP ME! THAT MAN JUST STOLE MY BAG, AND ITï¿½S GOT MY DOG INSIDE!ï¿½ A famous actress sobbed as a masked assailant made his escape down the busy sidewalk.

ï¿½DIBS!ï¿½ Q-BE shouted, and put on an extra burst of speed to reach the thief. MrHHH sighed, rolled his eyes, and pulled up into the air, arching into the sky for a better view of the situation, but mostly to keep track of his hyper-kinetic friend.

The would-be robber got about 10 paces away from his prey before a red blur whipped by him, simultaneously snatching the purse and spinning the neï¿½er-do-well into a state of massive disorientation, after which he collapsed to the ground and retched into a nearby rainduct.

Q-BE instantly appeared in front of the victimized vixen, flashing his trademark smile and roving eye. ï¿½I do believe this belongs to you, my sweet, sexyï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ he realized with whom he was speaking, ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT!!!ï¿½ His eyes lit up like Christmas Day as he instinctively threw his hands, which were holding the bag, into the air. ï¿½Ohmygod Icanï¿½tbelieveitï¿½syou Iï¿½myouï¿½rebiggestfan Iï¿½veseenallyourmovies andiï¿½veseenallyourtvshowsandspecialsandinterviewsandï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ He handed her the bag while he tried not to hyperventilate.

ï¿½Hey, guy, calm down there! Iï¿½m a big fan of yours, too!ï¿½ Love giggled. She looked into her purse to ascertain its contents, and returned a panicked gaze to Q-BE. ï¿½Whereï¿½s my dog?ï¿½ she implored. She frantically searched her bag again for any sign of the animal. ï¿½WHEREï¿½S MYï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

ï¿½ARRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!ï¿½ The now-airborne canine rocketed past the top of a nearby skyscraper, quickly reaching the zenith of its flight, where it began its descent towards an apparently certain demise. Luckily for the pooch, its time had not yet come. MrHHH gracefully swooped under the pup, andï¿½ï¿½after a swift descent to the delighted debutanteï¿½ï¿½he gently handed her the small bundle of fur, which greeted its owner with affectionate licks.

ï¿½Um, I-I could have gotten thatï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ Q-BE stammered. Love thanked her doggieï¿½s savior with a full hug. MrHHH opened his eyes and winked knowingly at his crushed colleague. Once released from his most pleasurable duty, he whispered a few words to the marvelous mistress, collected the queasy criminal, and rocketed into the sky with a resounding thunderclap. Dejected, Q-BEï¿½s gaze met the floor as he clasped his arms behind his back and rocked on his feet sheepishly. Love used her free hand to lift his gaze to hers, and surprised him with a kiss.

Q-BE blushed a red hue that rivaled his costume. ï¿½All in a dayï¿½s work, my Love.ï¿½ Into her hand, he slipped a business card that advertised the B.E.A. Salons and, having done so, he whispered ï¿½My numberï¿½s on the back.ï¿½ He then vanished in a gust of wind that stirred the local debris into a swirl, leaving the amazed actress to handle the press with her usual aplomb.

ï¿½Iï¿½m telling you, that woman is always in the headlines!ï¿½

Tamara Tame gazed steadily at a television screen detailing the most recent adventure of the actress who was unofficially the ï¿½officialï¿½ paparazzi magnet of Boobopolis, and thus someone for whom Tamara had an unabashed distasteï¿½ï¿½and begrudging respect. She and Prophet Tenebrae awaited the labï¿½s chief technician and his account of its recent indiscretions.

Q-BE appeared on the screen and hyperventilated on cue, while MrHHH rescued the dog and made his dramatic return to the actress. Prophet Tenebrae instinctively rolled his eyes. ï¿½The problem with that girl is that she probably would have fallen for the red buffoon, if his fellow masculinity icon hadnï¿½t swooped into the scene.ï¿½

ï¿½Come now, Mr. Tenebrae, donï¿½t be so harsh. They did rescue her dogï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

ï¿½Twice.ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae interjected. ï¿½Twit #1 endangered the dog unnecessarily. Twit #2 didnï¿½t stop Twit #1. Therefore, they are both culpable.ï¿½

ï¿½So, Q-BE accidentally launched her dog into orbit. He saved the day for his dream girl. Iï¿½d like to see you try not to react like that on the spur of the moment.ï¿½

ï¿½If only I were able, my dear. If only I were able.ï¿½

ï¿½Whatï¿½s that supposed to mean?ï¿½

ï¿½Nothing.ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae turned his attention to his approaching chief technician. To Tamara, it seemed that with every step closer to Prophet, the technician quivered that much more visibly, to the point that when he stood face-to-face with him, he shook like a leaf.

ï¿½Um-um, sir? I-uh-I-uh-Iï¿½m here to give you a report on whatï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

ï¿½Well, spit it out! Iï¿½m already a hairï¿½s breadth away from firing you outright, and you stand there, stuttering like a total IDIOT?!?ï¿½

ï¿½What your dear boss is trying to say,ï¿½ Tamara interjected, wincing at Prophetï¿½s angry tone, ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½is that you really should calm down. Perhaps you could cut down on the caffeine? Maybe you need something to stiffen you up?ï¿½ Tamara began unbuttoning her white blouse, which, at the moment, wasnï¿½t particularly filled with flesh. ï¿½I donï¿½t have a bra on today. I figured I might need to utilize my assets, and of course, Prophet has already forced my handï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ she stared disapprovingly at her host, ï¿½but I came prepared.ï¿½ She arched her back, discarded her blouse, and slyly injected a syringe of liquid into her right breast, and another into her left.

The effect was almost instantaneous. Her average bosom leaped out of its tiny frame and swelled rapidly, and she reflexively moaned. Her nipples stiffened and lengthened while her breasts expanded. The milk ducts were now clearly visible, and she playfully squeezed them, squirting milk on her subject. Her areola grew as wide as saucer-plates, and her quarryï¿½s eyes nearly matched them.

Tamara bent over, displaying her now-sizable, pendulous breasts. The lab technician stared wide-eyed at Tamara, while Prophet Tenebrae merely huffed and turned his gaze to the screen and his pocketed hand reached surreptitiously to massage his own swollen member. Tamara grabbed the geekï¿½s free hand and gently cupped her bountiful bosom with itï¿½ï¿½his meager grip dwarfed by the massiveness of her new mammary. The technician, fixated on the marvelousness of the situation in which he found himself, began to speak plainly.

ï¿½I really donï¿½t know how it got made in the first place, sir. The chemical changes in BE-swollen breasts are still being catalogued. We were researching the properties of breast milk extracted from BE-swollen breasts, and it doesnï¿½t appear to have any adverse effects on anything here on Earth. In fact, it seems to be even better than regular breast milk, and tastes quite sweet. However, one might want to avoid addiction to this substance, as research is still ongoing. It would have been quite easy to walk off with several vials of the stuff, as nearly every staffer here had access to this copious materialï¿½ï¿½no pun intended. Rest assured, as soon as we saw its effects on MrHHH, we limited access only to the highest security clearances. We are reviewing the formula from scratch.ï¿½

ï¿½Well then, see to it that every ounce of the liquid is accounted, and Iï¿½ll see to it that you remain on our staff, somehow.ï¿½ Prophet took his eyes off the screen, which now featured an energy bar commercial, returning his withering gaze to his chastised chief. ï¿½Donï¿½t make me destroy you.ï¿½

ï¿½Um-um, um-um, um, ok thank you sir, youï¿½re right! Weï¿½ll get researching right away!ï¿½ The chief technician bolted from the conversation like a bullet fired from a gun. The large, swinging doors that led to the restricted access area were thrown open brusquely by the rapidly-retreating scientist, slamming loudly against the wallï¿½s door buffers.

ï¿½I guess that went as well as can be expected.ï¿½ Tamara rebuttoned her blouse and tucked it in, returning to her professional demeanor, albeit with a still swollen bosom. ï¿½Itï¿½s a good thing I took off this shirt, or I would have destroyed it. I had never done that until today. The doctor said Iï¿½d taken just enough skin treatments to pull that off.ï¿½

ï¿½You did that quite literally, didnï¿½t you?ï¿½ Prophet chuckled, smiling briefly. ï¿½We now know MrHHHï¿½s weakness, and we know who the culprit is.ï¿½

ï¿½The culprit?ï¿½

ï¿½I may be mean, and I may be fear-inducing, but that guy was suffering from a clear case of breast-deficiency if I ever saw one. Thereï¿½s only one reason that he would be breast-deficient in todayï¿½s world, especially in his chosen field: heï¿½s anti-breast, and heï¿½s being used by our goons. Now, we just follow his lead.ï¿½

ï¿½How do you know he stole it?ï¿½

ï¿½I donï¿½tï¿½ï¿½at least I wonï¿½t until I get a chance to review my security tapes for that night, which, of course, he doesnï¿½t know exist. It may be tedious, but itï¿½ll be the most accurate way we can assess who stole the liquid. But, I donï¿½t expect him to admit he stole it anyway. Heï¿½ll probably blame a few cronies or something, and in the meantime, heï¿½ll stay clean. After that, heï¿½s going to be game, and weï¿½ll be ready. We just need someone who can watch him like a hawk.ï¿½

ï¿½So what do I do until then? What am I going to tell Erik?ï¿½

ï¿½Youï¿½ll say that the lead evaporated, and you decided to go to press with information on all the extra benefits of the new, improved ProphetCorps milk formula. We deny any potential effects on MrHHH.ï¿½

ï¿½OK, Prophet dear. Letï¿½s get back to our respective workplaces. Youï¿½ll call me or Iï¿½ll call you?ï¿½ Whatever the case, Erik just has to know about this whole thing. What on Earth would Prophet have to hide from him?

Chapter 3: The Plot Grows Bigger

ï¿½YOU CANï¿½T DO THIS TO ME!ï¿½

ï¿½I can, and I did.ï¿½

Sitting on the throne of Boobyscyra in the Hall Of The Vaunted Diana The Valkyrie, or simply Valkyrie Hall for short, Queen Bella Valkyrie glared at the daughter she thought would know her place, and who would cede her place to the throne in order that tradition might be upheld. The entire court of Boobyscyra stood and watched in fearful awe with a mixture of indignation and sadness. ï¿½There is nothing else for me to say, my daughter. The Boobyscyran traditions must be upheld, and you have been knowingly caught leaving the island and searching for other ways to enhance your breasts. I tell you, there is no place for us but Boobyscyra, and no method for us save natural growth. You have willingly condemned yourself! What you have done is as traitorous as consorting with the enemy, those who seek breast reduction.ï¿½

ï¿½There is no enemy! There must be another way! We risk continued pain for the women in our clan if we continue growing our breasts without thinking about the consequences on our bodies!ï¿½

ï¿½I have heard what you have to say, and there shall be no argument! My decision is final! You are henceforth renounced of your claim to the throne, and, because of your continued insolence, you are hereby forbidden to remain here. Go forth and seek your own way unto destruction, thou wretched daughter of mine!ï¿½

ï¿½Goodbye, mother. I hope that our last words to each other shall not be these hateful sayings.ï¿½ Harley Valkyrie rose into the air and swiftly flew out into the cool, moist night. This in itself was another sign she was royal, for she knew of no other clan with such levitational powers. Realizing she was still thinking of herself as royalty, she sighed and breathed the air deeply to purge herself of such thoughts, savoring the smell of her island home, for she was no longer welcome in this place. One day, I hope that sheï¿½ll come to understand I was right...

So Harley flew west, towards the setting sun, over the Mediterranean Sea, away from her old life and its antiquated ways. She closed her eyes and prayed that wherever she went, she would meet those who would lead her to a better life.

She had always known this would be her fate. From the time she was but a young, undeveloped Babyscyran (she had not yet developed her ï¿½Boobyï¿½ heritage), she had wondered at the pains and tribulations through which each member of her tribe was placed as a result of their breasts, and questioned the wisdom of its tenet that all breasts should be as large as possible, completely natural, unencumbered by any supportive garment, and, most importantly, never reduced. Togas were the garment of choice as they provided a semblance of coverage without overtly supporting the bust.

This rule proved particularly onerous for Harley, for she developed early and greatly. Such was her development that the populace clambored for her to become the queenï¿½s heir at the earliest convenience, convinced that her beauty and youthful wisdom beyond her years heralded the return of Diana the Valkyrie herself. Her mother, seeing her daughter as a potential threat to the traditions she held dear, refused any opportunity for Harley to achieve Boobyscyran status, but when Harley achieved a cup size rivaled only by the Honorable Diana, her mother had no choice but to bequeath her the eventual advancement to the throne, as she was the eldest daughter in the House of Valkyrie, descendant of the great Diana herself.

As a result, Harleyï¿½s mother had had little sufferance for anything Harley did, and Harley did little to try to placate her mother or calm her fears. She continually pushed the limits of what she perceived as her motherï¿½s petty and absurd restrictions. Most recently, she had begun venturing off the lands of her foremothers, seeking out new advancements in breast health for the sake of her people. Some things she had managed to inculcate into her culture, such as metal ï¿½Braisï¿½sï¿½ for every able-bodied Boobyscyran, under the pretense that they were developed for the defense of the motherland. Next to togas, the metal Braisï¿½s were quickly becoming the most popular form of outerwear in the kingdom. Naturally, they were made of braisï¿½s, a particularly inventive name for garment made of the so-called ï¿½divine metalï¿½ that Harley had ï¿½discoveredï¿½ and knew was simple brass, but she had felt the advancement to iron ore would perhaps bend her motherï¿½s already-minuscule magnanimity a cup size too far.

Naturally, Harley realized this hiding and inculcating could not provide Boobyscyra with everything it needed. It was like placing an object that mankind called a ï¿½Band-Aidï¿½ on a severe neck wound. It had been Harleyï¿½s plan to figure out a way to convince her mother to listen to her tribeï¿½s cries for assistance with their breasts, but she was discovered one night while returning from a Breast Expansion Associates Salon in the nearby country of Grecia, in eastern Europe. Not only that, she was found bringing some breast supplies she felt would surreptitiously aid the women in her tribe until such time as her mother could be convinced to change. One thing led to another, and that was why she now was absconding her island home.

Harley awoke from her semi-conscious reverie as the vast ocean she had crossed gave way to an even vaster landscape, nay, a whole new continent. Harleyï¿½s heart leapt for joy as she comprehended the possibilities in this new land. Seeing a gleaming metal paradise on the horizon, sparkling with so many lights, she vectored towards its towering glory. The sun finished setting without her.

ï¿½YEEEEE-HAAAWWWW!!!ï¿½

Q-BE let out a whoop as he raced around Boobopolis just like on any other night in the city, testing himself and trying helter-skelter to stop various crimes, some with greater success than others. As he finished rescuing another womanï¿½s belongings from yet another robber (this time not causing any additional mayhem), he noticed out of the corner of his eye what he thought was a busty female flying across the glowing Boobopolis skyline. What in the world?!? Q-BE thought. MrHHH had better not be playing a stupid trick on me and getting me back for what I did the other day. Man, does he hold a grudge, or what!? Q-BE sped towards the spot where he believed the woman had landed across the city.

Harley landed in a dark alleyway somewhere in the southern sector of the gleaming city in which she found herself (which used a strange Outsider language). This place was unlike anything she had ever seen before, even in all her travels throughout Europe. She found herself next to a store that apparently sold body coverings. She ogled the many foreign styles and designs of clothing through a clear barrier, including things that appeared to support breasts. Gleefully, she looked around, and, seeing nobody, she used her fist to smash the barrier, which easily shattered into a thousand pieces, making much more noise than she wanted.

She quickly stepped inside and began plucking items off of metal displays that appeared to be sized to fit her. She stripped off her toga and Braisï¿½s, allowing her massive assets to expand outward to their true fullness, about the size of her torso, comparable to something the size of a large ball found on the beaches in Europe. She admired them and squeezed them lovingly before she prepared to reduce them magically to fit into the garments available to her. She picked up her golden rope, which she had brought from her home, and lassoed it around her breasts and across her erect nipples. She took a deep breath...

As he approached the presumably-burglarized building into which this flying woman had broken, Q-BE slowed down to a human running pace. OK, he thought. Iï¿½m going to do this on three. He took a deep breath. THREE! He dashed inside, completely unprepared for what he was about to see. ï¿½OK, LADY, STOP WHAT YOUï¿½RE DOING RIGHTï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

Standing before him was a true goddess, a beauty he had believed existed only in fables and fairy tales. A statuesque, crowned, and jewelry-adorned brunette with unfathomably large breasts had lassoed her bustline with a golden rope and tied up herself to...herself. The only thing missing would be a gag, and sheï¿½d have the complete S&M package, Q-BE fantasized. He felt a hard lump at the center of his torso. Heï¿½d never seen anything so beautiful in his entire life. If this is a dream, I donï¿½t want to wake up...

Q-BE drew closer and closer to Harley until he came face-to-face with the beauty. She stared at him in restrained awe herself, surreptitiously devouring every streamline on this male eye-candy. ï¿½Hello, Princess,ï¿½ Q-BE intoned teasingly. Swiftly, he took her face in his hands and planted a full kiss on her lips. She began to melt, but her panic instincts took over at that minute, and...

THWACK! SOCK! POW!

Note to self, kissing a naked, rope-bound woman is probably not the best way to make a first impression, Q-BE mused as he writhed in pain on the ground. The sudden headbutt and leg kicks by Harley on his head, groin, and back had attacked his three most sensitive areas, particularly in this situation, something he probably deserved in this instance. He continued admiring her from his changed perspective.

ï¿½Are you about done?ï¿½ Harley glared at the mesmerized male speedster who had happened upon her in such a vulnerable state.

Realizing she knew he wasnï¿½t in quite as much pain as he let on, Q-BE stood up, only momentarily grunting as he massaged his sore groin. ï¿½Ooopï¿½ï¿½uhhhhhï¿½ï¿½what?ï¿½ Q-BE shook his head in a useless attempt to dispel this heavenly image. He again paused to observe Harleyï¿½s obvious discomfiture, and a wide, mischievous grin spread across his face. ï¿½Oh, Iï¿½m done, alright. Iï¿½m done gone and discovered an angel fallen to the earth.ï¿½

ï¿½Donï¿½t push it, busterï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ Harley stopped in mid-rebuttal, as it dawned on her that she understood every word he just said. She tentatively questioned this ï¿½flashyï¿½ figure. ï¿½Um...who are you?ï¿½

ï¿½So-a, she-a does-a speak-a zee English-a!ï¿½ Q-BE proclaimed. He scanned the room in which they found themselves, now in complete disarray because of his sudden entrance and her panic attack. He saw the toga on the ground, and raised his eyebrow appreciatively. ï¿½Iï¿½m guessing youï¿½re not from around here, are you?ï¿½

ï¿½So let me get this straightï¿½ï¿½youï¿½re from a place called Boobyscyra?ï¿½

ï¿½Thatï¿½s right.ï¿½

ï¿½And youï¿½ve come in search of ways to improve the breast health of your culture, the culture out from which you were so rudely thrown because of some long-standing traditions that you already had violated because of this?ï¿½

ï¿½Basically.ï¿½

ï¿½And because I kissed you, you learned my language.ï¿½

ï¿½That about covers it.ï¿½

ï¿½Well, thatï¿½s quite a story, Harley.ï¿½

ï¿½I know. Here, I donï¿½t want this. Catch.ï¿½

Harley, who was in the smashed storeï¿½s changing room, tossed Q-BE a rejected garment as she tried on what seemed to be the hundredth outfit in order to find something she felt was comfortable, and which blended into the populace. The speedster nervously watched for passersby, intermittently knocking out anyone who happened to see their destructive enterprise, quickly stacking up a number of bodies.

ï¿½You know, hurrying up wouldnï¿½t be such a bad idea, Harley.ï¿½

ï¿½Alright, already! I may be from another civilization, but I know fashion when I see it, and none of this qualifies.ï¿½ Q-BE grumbled, and Harley relented. ï¿½OK, Iï¿½ve decided. Just a second.ï¿½

After about 60 ï¿½secondsï¿½, the busty beauty exited the changing room. Harley had chosen a nondescript pink zippable sweatshirt to go with black sports-bra and blue spandex sweatpants. Q-BE whistled in appreciation, earning a glare from Harley. She had temporarily contained her voluminous black frock in a pink hair tie. Q-BE, on the other hand, had dressed in a grey hooded sweatshirt and matching sweatpants simply to conceal his gaudy red costume. Together, they appeared to be nothing more than two average joggers.

ï¿½So, about the damage?ï¿½ Harley surveyed the scene, noting the wanton destruction. ï¿½I guess I donï¿½t quite know my strength yet. You Outsiders are weak, are you not?ï¿½

ï¿½Outsiders? Weak? What part of your brain thinks that?ï¿½

ï¿½Oh, Iï¿½m sorry. Itï¿½s my Boobyscyran upbringing rearing its ugly head. I know more about your world than the average Boobyscyran, but not much more, and whatever I do knowï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½you got from your escapades off your island. Yeah, I know. Well, you have to treat us ï¿½Outsidersï¿½ with care. Iï¿½m one of the lucky ones, I guess. I only play one in real life.ï¿½

ï¿½What?ï¿½

ï¿½Nothing.ï¿½ Q-BE walked over to the counter, hid a large sum of money next to the cashierï¿½s drawer and affixed a little note:

To the store owner: Sorry for the damage. I hope thereï¿½s enough for justice.

Q-BE

ï¿½Whereï¿½d you get the money?ï¿½

ï¿½I get paid to advertise energy bars.ï¿½

ï¿½I should have known.ï¿½

ï¿½Yeah, MrHHH never lets me hear the end of it.ï¿½

ï¿½MrHHH?ï¿½

ï¿½Heï¿½s a friend of mine. Come on, letï¿½s go find him.ï¿½

After Q-BE dialed 911 to summon the police to the scene, the impromptu duo exited the building and jogged at a steady pace along the road a few blocks before entering Busty Park, the aptly-named green pasture in the center of Boobopolis famous for its breast-shaped hills. This grassy paradise was the last remaining fragment of the cityï¿½s true origins. To make room for the bustling metropolis, surrounding areas had been leveled, leaving only this park as a reminder of what used to exist. Q-BE was jogging backwards about 20 yards ahead, obviously taking the time to observe his beautiful companion from a distance. He happened to see a watch on a fellow jogger, and surprisingly, reversed course. Upon reuniting with Harley, he tugged at her jacket in urgency.

ï¿½Why the rush, Q-BE?ï¿½

ï¿½The city beckons! Come on, itï¿½s barely 10 oï¿½clock!ï¿½

ï¿½10ï¿½ï¿½oï¿½clock?ï¿½

ï¿½Oh, I forgot to tell you. Our timepieces are called clocks. We call the beginning of the hour ï¿½oï¿½clockï¿½.ï¿½

ï¿½Oh. So what does ï¿½10 oï¿½clockï¿½ meeeeaaann!!ï¿½ Harley had no time to wonder, as Q-BE pulled her forward eagerly towards his destination, a Chinese restaurant.

ï¿½Are you going to finish that, Q-BE?ï¿½

ï¿½No, you can have it, Harley.ï¿½ He handed her the remaining portion of a foot-long hot dog with all the toppings, and smiled as she messily devoured it in one bite.

Just as quickly as the night had begun, it was over. Q-BE had shown his Boobyscyran friend the sights (Harley was fascinated), the sounds (Harley loved dance music), and, especially, the tastes of the city (Harley was ravenous). He had to admit that he had been a little surprised by this voracious vixen, but he understood well what a super-metabolism involved. He had watched her half in awe as she consumed every dish she ordered. Well, Iï¿½ll be a monkeyï¿½s uncle, he had mused. This is what a date feels like, eh? The duo sat and rested in Busty Park once again.

Based on Q-BEï¿½s culinary cabaret, Harley had to wonder whether she had ever truly known what true cuisine was before this night. This, of course, was after they had discussed everything Q-BE knew about womenï¿½s clothing and couture (which wasnï¿½t much) when Harley had completed her ritual and magically enchanted her clothing to contain her prodigious bustline, which no longer appeared prodigious precisely because of said incantation. Q-BE had objected mockingly, knowing full well that he needed to tread lightly around this Amazonian beauty, because he didnï¿½t feel like getting beat to a pulp. The prospect grated on his masculine psyche, but at the same time it provided a strange allurement, something he knew he had to explore at the earliest opportunity, and so, here they were.

ï¿½So, what are you going to do now that youï¿½re here, Harley?ï¿½

The sated Boobyscyran raised her gaze to meet Q-BEï¿½s, and her face was covered in a mixture of toppings from the late-night snack. ï¿½I suppose we could go searching for MrHHH. Iï¿½ve got energy to spare.ï¿½

ï¿½Youï¿½ve also got a bunch of food on your face!ï¿½

ï¿½Well,ï¿½ the dirty dame divined, ï¿½you could always lick it off. HIC!ï¿½ She hiccupped noisily and giggled drunkenly.

ï¿½Oh, I want to, Harley, believe me, but youï¿½ve had a few too many tonight. Iï¿½ve been stupidï¿½ï¿½I didnï¿½t even think about it, and no sane dining attendant is going to refuse a pretty face like yours.ï¿½ He looked at Harley, noting that her incantation was wearing off due to her drunkeness, as her breasts were beginning to push at their constraints. ï¿½Plus, unless we plan to explain a major wardrobe malfunction, youï¿½re going to need to get ahold of yourselfï¿½ï¿½and I do mean ï¿½get ahold of yourselfï¿½.ï¿½ He pointed at her bulging boobs.

ï¿½Iï¿½ll beï¿½ï¿½HIC!ï¿½ï¿½fine. I wannaï¿½ï¿½anotherï¿½ï¿½one of these long thingies.ï¿½ Harley made a motion with her arms that wasnï¿½t quite clear as to which ï¿½long thingieï¿½ she meant.

At this point, Q-BE was getting extremely nervous. He had a gorgeous woman almostï¿½ï¿½literallyï¿½ï¿½eating out of his hand. He could have his way with her, but then what? How does one ï¿½dateï¿½ such a wondrous woman? He turned his gaze to the sky, and, coincidentally, caught view of another flying figure. Aw, hell no. Not twice in one night. Nope, uh-uh, ainï¿½t going there. He closed his eyes, hoping to erase what he had just seenï¿½ï¿½again.

ï¿½Ooh, look at the pretty hawk flying across the sky!ï¿½ Harley pointed and hiccupped excitedly.

Crap, Q-BE thought. I canï¿½t meet a woman to save my life, and suddenly, in one night, I meet this titilatting titania and have to deal with another unknown superbeing? He laughed in spite of himself. On top of that, thereï¿½s no MrHHH in sight. But I know someone who could help me out here. Q-BE tore off his jogging suit and raced to find the one person whom he could trust at this time of night. So, he mused, the plot grows bigger...

Chapter 4: Whatï¿½s The Point?

ï¿½10-4, weï¿½ve got an ongoing robbery at 10 Tenebrae Ave. in lower Gottits City, and backup is enroute to site, do youï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

Prophet Tenebrae switched off the police scanner in his vehicle as he maneuvered his way towards the ongoing crime. Of course, this wasnï¿½t any ordinary vehicle, and this wasnï¿½t any ordinary crime. Then, he reasoned, he wasnï¿½t any ordinary guy himself. He glanced down at his ï¿½10ï¿½-themed costume, something that everyone conveniently misunderstood about him, never quite catching the connection between him and his billionaire alter-ego. No, he wasnï¿½t fighting crime as Prophet Tenebraeï¿½ï¿½he was doing one better. He was ï¿½Breast Prophetï¿½, fighting crime and causing breast expansion wherever he went. The cops felt he was a little over-the-top with his rampant vigilantism, especially considering no female breast went unexpanded, but he liked it that way. Nobody truly considered him friend or foe except for the important people to whom he was a loyal friend, or, more commonly, a tenacious foe.

His grip tightened on the steering wheel as he neared the crime scene. This wasnï¿½t a petty theft against one of his ancillary B.E.A. Salons; this was an assault on the headquarters of the whole B.E.A. subsidiary of ProphetCorps at 10 Tenebrae Ave., his dearest and most valuable turf. Nobody is getting away with anything tonight, Prophet thought. I will personally see to it that each of the crooks goes down hard for this. Weï¿½re not playing fucking kidsï¿½ games anymore.

As if on cue, he saw a red blur in his rear-view mirror. His streamlined black rocket-fueled ï¿½superï¿½ car was fast, but Prophet knew better than to try to outrun this particular pest. That only made things worse in the long run, no pun intended. What in the hell is he doing in Gottits City at 2:00 in the morning? The red blur came up alongside his driverï¿½s side window, and Q-BE came into focus. He knocked on the window pane until Prophet opened up his two-way loudspeakers so they could converse over the rushing wind. His voice filled the intercom.

ï¿½What in the hell are you doing in Gottits City at this hour, Q-BE?ï¿½

ï¿½Iï¿½m here for shits and giggles, Breast Prophet.ï¿½

ï¿½Well, go shit and giggle somewhere else.ï¿½

ï¿½Hardy-har-har-har. Youï¿½re a riot. Seriously, we need to talk.ï¿½

ï¿½I canï¿½t talk right now; Iï¿½m heading to stop a crime.ï¿½

ï¿½A crime? Where?ï¿½

ï¿½10 Tenebrae Ave.ï¿½

ï¿½The B.E.A. HQ?ï¿½

ï¿½Precisely. My bet is that theyï¿½re not after the pile of cash this time. Theyï¿½ve raided enough of the companyï¿½s coffers elsewhere. What they want here is the high-profile stuff, plain and simple.ï¿½

ï¿½Whatï¿½s the point?ï¿½

Prophet nearly rolled his eyes out of habit. ï¿½Anybody whoï¿½s seen even an ounce of news in the past 24 hours has to know that the B.E.A., under the auspices of ProphetCorps, released details on a new-improved milk formula based on the milk extracted from BE-swollen breasts. If the criminals get their hands on the research for this stuff, or even the formula itself, who knows what havoc they could wreak on the whole BE industry.ï¿½

ï¿½Oh oh oh oh! I think I see where youï¿½re going. Back-alley BE, overdoses, imitations and knock-offs. Black-market BE would be the end of legitimacy for the whole culture of breast expansion fetishism.ï¿½

ï¿½Youï¿½re learning, Q-BE. Youï¿½re not as dumb as you used to be.ï¿½

ï¿½Gee, thanks. You only slapped one side of my face with that one.ï¿½

ï¿½Itï¿½s what I do.ï¿½ Prophet smirked ever so slightly.

ï¿½What do you say we go stop this crime, and then have ourselves a chat?ï¿½

ï¿½Iï¿½ll think about it. Breast Prophet out.ï¿½

ï¿½Meet you at the site, Iï¿½m going to size up the situation. Q-BE is outta space!ï¿½ Q-BE laughed at his own pithy quip and raced ahead of Prophetï¿½s rocket conveyance.

Just donï¿½t do anything stupid, you bloody fool, Prophet silently told his friend. The last thing I want to see you do is get yourself killedï¿½ï¿½or worse, someone else.

Breast Prophet arrived at the site to see the front of his 50-story building shattered open, leaving a gaping hole in the entrance. Firefighters and police officers filled the scene, at once attacking the fire and evacuating adjoining sections of downtown. The masked billionaire saw no sign of Q-BE, and so left his vehicle on momentary standbyï¿½ï¿½at any sign of trouble, his sleek transportation would be ready to rumble. Giant chunks of cement and twisted metal greeted Prophet as he approached the tower. Fire enveloped everything in his sight, and so Prophet put on his own customized smoke mask. With any luck, Q-BE began searching for survivors and getting them out of the building. Thereï¿½s no way to tell how sound this building is structurally, but it seems like a surface fire. Itï¿½s a good thing I notified my contractors to be on hold given the recent attacks on the B.E.A. Salons; once the firefighters control the blaze, the building should stand. A group of police officers saw Prophet and ran over to him. The one who appeared to be the lead officer spoke up.

ï¿½Breast Prophet! Thank goodness youï¿½re here! Q-BE ran inside and we havenï¿½t seen him since. We told him to at least take an oxygen tank, but he was worried heï¿½d somehow explode the thing with his speed. Besides, he took off so suddenly, it was like he vanished into thin air!ï¿½

ï¿½That valorious dimwit usually pulls a stunt like this; I wouldnï¿½t be too concerned. Heï¿½s worked his way out of tighter situations than this one.ï¿½

ï¿½But thereï¿½s a difference this time; something that appeared to be a giant flying hawk flew into the upper floors of the building by smashing its way through with something that crackled with electricity. Weï¿½re not sure why itï¿½s here, so be careful in there!ï¿½

ï¿½Thanks for the warning. Iï¿½ve got a plan,ï¿½ Prophet tapped his head knowingly. ï¿½I always do.ï¿½

ï¿½Q-BE, we donï¿½t care how fast you are. You need this equipï¿½ï¿½WAIT!!!ï¿½

As Q-BE entered the inflamed building mere moments after rejecting proper safety gear, he saw a fight in the flames. Rather, it was less a fight than a slaughter. A hawk-like figure with an energized mace was viciously attacking a group of men who appeared to be doing just what Breast Prophet had saidï¿½ï¿½stealing the companyï¿½s secrets. Only, these men werenï¿½t being readily electrocuted, because they wored molded fire-red rubberized suits that protected them from the flamesï¿½ï¿½and her maceï¿½s jolts. Thatï¿½s not to say she isnï¿½t beating them up in spectacular fashion. I know I wouldnï¿½t want to get smacked around by something that spiky, Q-BE mused.

However, just as he was about to head to check the building for potential victims and survivors, he realized, too late, that he appeared not much different than the other masked men.

WHAM! SMACK! SLAM!

Q-BE was punched violently into the black marble wall of the gigantic entrance concourse by a physical and electric jolt from a masked assailant, but more than that, a female one.

ï¿½OWWIE! Whatï¿½d you go...and do that for? I just GOT here!ï¿½ Q-BE picked himself off the floor, audibly grunting at the pain from the sudden attack.

ï¿½BECAUSE YOUï¿½RE AN EVIL-DOER, AND EVIL-DOERS GET PUNISHED FOR THEIR CRIMES ON MY WORLD!ï¿½ The hawk-like woman, who Q-BE noted was adorned with an alien falconry mask and a revealing spandex bustier with complementary leg tights, launched herself in flight at him again, preparing to strike him with her mace until he was thoroughly defeated.

ï¿½They get punished here, too, lady, but through a trial where every man is presumed innocent until proven guilty! Especially ME!ï¿½ Q-BE dodged her next move, in which she vectored at him, but having missed, arced parallel to the wall, barely avoiding a crash as she rocketed towards the ceiling. The disgruntled speedster found himself desiring the jolt-resistant fire suit he had just rejected. Why do I never take any safety precautions? Looking skyward, he waited until the last possible moment before dodging another flying electric attack, racing away and reappearing some 50 yards away beside a titanic marble support column. The woman, unable to react in time, crashed into the marble floor upon which he had been standing, ripping a human-sized hole with her mace. ï¿½Too slow!ï¿½ he taunted.

The determined female figure struggled out of the newly-formed pit, and, so doing, faced her lightning-fast quarry. ï¿½How did you do that? None of your fellow criminals could do what you did.ï¿½

ï¿½Well, (A), Iï¿½m not a criminal; (B), Iï¿½m just that marvelous, and (C), you seriously need to take a chill pill.ï¿½ Q-BE looked around at the fiery landscape and laughed. ï¿½Not that itï¿½ll do you much good inï¿½ï¿½AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!ï¿½

Q-BE was met with an electric jolt as the woman pointed her mace at him from where she stood. He struggled to stand, but was brought to his knees in pain. I canï¿½t outrun her electricity in this state, but what can I do? He looked down at his chest to see the golden image of Jennifer Love Hewitt electrified and conducting the jolt directly to his chest. I...hate to do it, but if I donï¿½t get this gold off my chest...itï¿½ll conduct electricity into me until I die. With great labor, he moved his arms to his chest, gripped the gold image, which only pained him more greatly, and with a horrendous RRRRRIIIIIP!, he wrent his garment and removed the conducting metal.

Freed from his electric death sentence, Q-BE swiftly sped towards his assailant and landed a decent punch on her midsection, knocking the wind from her lungs and causing her to drop her mace. Once she landed on the ground, he ran towards where she lay and pinned her arms and legs to the ground with his own. His breath intermingled with hers, and he smelled a sweet scent, something akin to honeydew on his childhood Midwestern farm. ï¿½Whatï¿½s the big idea with you barging in here? Whatï¿½s your angle? Whatï¿½s the point?ï¿½

ï¿½I came here from far away. I only seek to stop evil-doers and find information that will let me return home.ï¿½ A sensual grin creeped on to her face. ï¿½I see that you must be very evil to have me in such a vulnerable position as this. You could do...almost anything...ï¿½ She looked at his bulging midsection and bit her lip invitingly.

Q-BEï¿½s resolve quickly melted, though not as a result of the flaming building. ï¿½Well...since you took out the bad guys, I suppose I can let you off the hook. But you...owe me.ï¿½

ï¿½Iï¿½ve been a baaaad girl, havenï¿½t I?ï¿½ the winged vixen whispered in his ear. ï¿½Let me repay you...now.ï¿½

BOIIIIINNNNNGGGG!

Q-BE was launched into the air by the bird-like femaleï¿½s now-titanic breasts, which had instantly exploded out of their clothing constraints to upchuck Q-BE on the chin. He landed on his head with a thud on the black marble floor, temporarily paralyzed from the blow. He watched as she waltzed over to him and shook her expanded assets just millimeters from his face. So much for securing my manhood, Q-BE mused. They always get me with the titties. Itï¿½s unfair, I tell you! Unfair!

ï¿½Enjoy them now, because youï¿½ll never see them again, evil-doer,ï¿½ the triumphant titania trilled. ï¿½Your favor is repaidï¿½ï¿½UH!ï¿½ She fell unconciously onto Q-BE, smothering his face in her watermelon-sized boobs. Q-BE smiled in happy reverie.

ï¿½His name is Q-BE, although some days his actions do seem to help the bad guys more than the good ones.ï¿½ Breast Prophet seized his ï¿½Ten-a-rangï¿½ out of the smokey air as it returned to him after hitting its target. He came and stood over the two prostrate figures. ï¿½Q-BE, youï¿½re not paralyzed. Quit reveling in her boobs, and help me save the day.ï¿½

ï¿½Mmmw, comm mun, Brrst Prrpht,ï¿½ Q-BE mumbled with his smothered mouth. ï¿½Mif if fuh unf-in-a-wifetimm uffortunifty!ï¿½

ï¿½GET UP.ï¿½

ï¿½Mmmk, Mmmk!ï¿½ the squished speedster pushed the unconscious body of the bird-woman off himself and leapt to his feet. Prophet tossed him some fire gear, which he dutifully put on this time. ï¿½As you can see, Breast Prophet, I didnï¿½t emerge unscathed.ï¿½

ï¿½Ohï¿½ï¿½you lost your JLH picture,ï¿½ Breast Prophet noted uncaringly. ï¿½Cry me a river.ï¿½

ï¿½But itï¿½s made of gold! Do you realize how much that is going to cost me to reï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

ï¿½What happened to the criminals?ï¿½

ï¿½I thought this lady took care of them. Theyï¿½re in the safe.ï¿½

ï¿½Well, letï¿½s wake her up, inform her of the situation, and take it from there.ï¿½ Breast Prophet took something from his utility belt and sprayed it in the unconcious face of Q-BEï¿½s assailant. She sighed as she woke up, and, upon opening her eyes, she immediately tried to stand up, but Prophet brusquely pushed her back down and pinned her shoulders to the floor. ï¿½LISTEN TO ME. Iï¿½m not your enemy. Neither is Q-BE,ï¿½ he pointed at his disheveled colleague. ï¿½Those bad people in the safe are our enemy, and they are your enemy, too. We need you to tell us what happened and make sure that everyone is accounted so we can end this fight and stop this fire.ï¿½

The woman took this information in stride, and then calmly sat up. ï¿½My name is Tina, and I was just fighting the people who blasted this building. I thought Q-BE was one of them. I arrived on this planet a few days ago, and I flew across another city and this one tonight when I saw the explosion.ï¿½

ï¿½I KNEW I recognized you!ï¿½ Q-BE exclaimed. ï¿½I met another woman tonight named Harley, and when I saw Tina, I left Harley at Busty Park in Boobopolis in order to find you, Breast Prophet!ï¿½ He stopped smiling abruptly as he realized what he had just said. ï¿½Oh, SHIT!!!! I forgot about Harley! Sheï¿½s drunk as a skunk!ï¿½

ï¿½Letï¿½s take care of this problem first, Q-BE,ï¿½ Breast Prophet intoned. ï¿½We can worry about Harley as soon as weï¿½re finished here. You go find any survivors and victims while Tina and I clean up the mess in the safe and ascertain the state of its valuables. Then, we can assist in the fire-fighting.ï¿½

ï¿½Will do, Breast Prophet!ï¿½ Q-BE saluted and dashed up the nearest staircase to begin his search.

ï¿½Heï¿½s an intriguing fellow, that one,ï¿½ Tina noted when Q-BE left. ï¿½He had me dead to rights until I showed him these babies.ï¿½ She hefted her bust at Breast Prophet for effect, and, magically, they fit into her costume once again.

ï¿½Donï¿½t mind him. Heï¿½s all bluster and no brains, at least, not where they count,ï¿½ Prophet chuckled. ï¿½Heï¿½s a horny bastard, Iï¿½ll grant him that. Maybe thatï¿½s what gives him so much energy.ï¿½

ï¿½Part of me wants to see if that energy carries over into other areas,ï¿½ Tina replied, and Prophet gave Tina a look of obvious incredulity, even through his mask. ï¿½Oh, donï¿½t worry, I donï¿½t intend to go down that road. Iï¿½m just...curious.ï¿½

ï¿½Curious, my arse,ï¿½ Prophet retorted, but had nothing else to say as they reached the safe and began totalling the damage.

Chapter 5: Big Boobs, Bigger Boobs

ï¿½Is that everything, Captain?ï¿½

Prophet Tenebrae, in the guise of Breast Prophet, questioned the chief of police on-scene at the charred remains of what used to be the main entrance of the B.E.A. headquarters, the center of Prophetï¿½s corporate attempt to promote worldwide breast expansion. While the building facade was damaged, the floors above the entrance remained relatively unaffected and completely secure. Despite the apparent disaster, business could resume in a few days. Police, Fire, and Rescue searchlights now blanketed the scene. From here, civilian authorities could assume their proprietary duties.

ï¿½According to records found at the scene, you secured everything except a few vials of the formula.ï¿½

ï¿½BLOODY HELL!ï¿½ Breast Prophet cursed and slammed his fist against the police car next to which he was standing.

ï¿½Whoa, there, Breast Prophet,ï¿½ the chief exhorted. ï¿½While the criminals did succeed in getting the formula, they got such a small amount that they would have to use very sophisticated means to reproduce it or utilize it in any effective fashion.ï¿½

ï¿½That doesnï¿½t matter. Theyï¿½ve proven their effectiveness by attacking the heart of the B.E.A. and succeeding. No matter how small the actual victory, it pales in comparison to the moral victory. Breast Expansion, as a product and as a service, is officially...dangerous.ï¿½

ï¿½Boy, Iï¿½d hate to be the person who breaks the news to Prophet Tenebrae,ï¿½ the chief commiserated. ï¿½He stands to lose millions.ï¿½

Prophet grimaced ruefully at the statement. ï¿½Heï¿½ll live. Itï¿½s the women of the world who will truly suffer, never to know the joys of big breasts.ï¿½ Q-BE and Tina exited the mauled building and headed Prophetï¿½s way. ï¿½Speaking of big boobs...ï¿½ he muttered.

Q-BE was first to arrive, naturally. ï¿½Hey B.P., I think weï¿½reï¿½ï¿½YAAAAWWWWNN!!ï¿½ï¿½done here.ï¿½ Q-BE flopped onto a nearby bench as Tina arrived. ï¿½Are we going to find Harley, or can I take a nap?ï¿½

ï¿½We are going to find Harley, no thanks to you. Our long night continues because we must ascertain the fate of your super-powered companion.ï¿½

ï¿½It was a date, Iï¿½ll have you know!ï¿½ Q-BE stood up in protest.

ï¿½In your alternate reality.ï¿½ Tina mocked, and Prophet smirked slightly.

ï¿½No, it was! And I donï¿½t have an alternate reality! At least, not one that involves getting some nooky from a busty Amazon!ï¿½

ï¿½An Amazon, you say?ï¿½ Prophetï¿½s eyebrows raised in concern.

ï¿½Well, yeah. She punched out a plexi-glass window like it was nothing.ï¿½

ï¿½Still, thatï¿½s awfully specific, even for you,ï¿½ Prophet leered at his comrade, who squirmed in his place.

ï¿½Uh, um, uh...could it be Iï¿½m just a smart guy?ï¿½ Q-BE offered.

ï¿½NO,ï¿½ Tina and Prophet answered.

ï¿½Well, gee, I didnï¿½t know you had such a high opinion of me,ï¿½ Q-BE sulked.

ï¿½I know of Boobyscyra, Q-BE, and of Diana the Valkyrie. Your lady seems to have many of the legendary qualities of Diana, and so we have an even greater urgency,ï¿½ Prophet explained. ï¿½Get Tina up to speed, since you are so fast, and let us be on our way.ï¿½

ï¿½Hey, enough with the drill sergeant routine, OK? Itï¿½s not like I wasnï¿½t going to do that already.ï¿½ Q-BE grumbled and began recounting to Tina the dayï¿½s events as she flew him into the sky. If I werenï¿½t so tired, this would be cool, he thought, and yawned again. I sure could use some coffee right about now...

Prophet entered his sleek, black vehicle, and immediately his video comlink informed him that, contrary to finding Harley, she had made herself all too noticeable. Prophet hit a button, and immediately, a flying vehicle swooped down and landed in front of him, planting a ramp onto which Prophet drove directly into the cargo bay. Having collected its quarry, the auto-pilot rocketed back into the air. As he raced towards the enraged Boobyscyran with Tina and Q-BE following close behind, he thought: I sure could use a grande double-shot vanilla caramel macchiato right about now...

ï¿½I AM A BOOBYSCYRAN! I DO NOT ANSWER TO...ANYONE!!!ï¿½

WHOOOOOOOOSH BA-BOOOOSH!!!

The scene at Busty Park was total chaos, and the police in Boobopolis could do little to stop the madness. There was no MrHHH in sight, and Q-BE, like Breast Prophet, had been tied up at 10 Tenebrae Ave. in Gottits City. The police cars that hadnï¿½t been smashed by this point were riddled with the policeï¿½s own bullet ricochets, as their initial volleys at the naked, superhuman Amazon had been deftly dodged or deflected by her metal adornments, one of which looked like a crown. Not only that, she carried an indestructible golden rope that gripped its targets tenaciously, allowing her to utilize her full strength on them. This was the case most recently for a police car she had lassoed in mid-flight, picking it up and throwing it several hundred yards away at one of the larger hills in the park, where, upon her pronouncement, it had exploded upon impact.

Aw, maaaaan, Q-BE thought as he observed the war zone from above. MrHHH is so going to blame me for this. ï¿½HEY, HARLEY! ITï¿½S ME, Q-BE! HEY, WHOA!ï¿½ He screamed and waved at the enraged nude figure in the sky, who had responded by hurtling the remains of another car in his direction. Tina barely dodged the projectile.

ï¿½HELLO! Stupid!ï¿½ Tina yelled at Q-BE. ï¿½If youï¿½re going to act like that, I donï¿½t want to be in the line of fire! Risk your own neck, not mine!ï¿½

ï¿½Sorry!ï¿½ Q-BE apologized. ï¿½Hey, B.P., got any ideas?ï¿½

Q-BE didnï¿½t have to worry about Breast Prophet hearing him, however. The ever-calculating schemer had thought to give Q-BE and Tina communication earpieces that fit snugly under their respective costume headgear.

ï¿½Q-BE, Iï¿½m not a petrol station, so donï¿½t call me that. Like I told the police, Iï¿½ve always got a plan,ï¿½ Breast Prophet reminded his colleague as he flew across the sky in his aptly-named ï¿½Ten-Fighterï¿½, which bore his logo on all sides. ï¿½Since youï¿½re so good at running around, would you care to raise up a cloud of dust for me? Iï¿½m going to hit her with a missile while sheï¿½s engulfed in it.ï¿½

ï¿½You wouldnï¿½t!ï¿½

ï¿½If I donï¿½t, sheï¿½s liable to kill someone with her tantrum, if she hasnï¿½t already.ï¿½

ï¿½But what if it kills her?ï¿½

ï¿½Not likely. Given her deflection of the policeï¿½s munitions, itï¿½s safe to say sheï¿½s as invincible as MrHHH.ï¿½

ï¿½Do you always have to bring your logic and reasoning into everything? Youï¿½re such a downer!ï¿½

ï¿½At least I use my brain.ï¿½

ï¿½Cheap shot!ï¿½ Q-BE retorted, and Tina stifled a chuckle. ï¿½I heard that!ï¿½

ï¿½Just get on with it, Q-BE,ï¿½ Tina replied. ï¿½As much as you would enjoy a super-powered catfight, Iï¿½m not that foolhardy. Iï¿½m the insurance, remember?ï¿½

ï¿½Yeah, yeah, yeah.ï¿½ Q-BE muttered. Why did Jenny have to be like a female MrHHH? Q-BE lamented.

Deftly dropping Q-BE on a nearby hill, Tina gracefully swooped through the trees, keeping hidden from Harley. The scarlet speedster reached his target and began circling around Harleyï¿½s aerial position, forming a thick, dusty cyclone. Harley coughed and searched for relief, when suddenly, a speeding missle appeared in her line of sight.

KA-CHA-KA-BOOOOOOM!

Q-BE was blown clear of the area in which Harley had been confined by the dust cloud, landing on the same hill several hundred yards distant. Luckily for him, he had ridden the blastï¿½s compressive wave and used his super-speed to cushion his fall. Note to self, stay away from Breast Prophetï¿½s munitions collection, he thought. From now on, I take ï¿½Donï¿½t make me destroy you,ï¿½ literally.

A mushroom cloud ballooned where Harley had been hovering, leaving Q-BE worried that the worst had come to pass. He zipped back over to the area instantly, and upon arriving, he saw Harley, fists clenched and body tensed, hovering in a punching pose. The blast had clearly winded her, but otherwise she was no worse for the wear.

ï¿½Well, that didnï¿½t work,ï¿½ Q-BE understated.

ï¿½You donï¿½t say,ï¿½ Prophet grimaced. ï¿½OK, plan B. Insurance time.ï¿½

ï¿½Copy that, B.P.,ï¿½ Tina deadpanned.

ï¿½Donï¿½t call me that,ï¿½ Prophet growled.

ï¿½Well, donï¿½t call me insurance. Iï¿½m more than a pretty mace and huge wings.ï¿½

ï¿½My deepest apologies. Q-BE, you are on my shit list.ï¿½

ï¿½As if I wasnï¿½t already!ï¿½ Q-BE retorted.

ï¿½ IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!?ï¿½ Harley taunted the air.

ï¿½Not quite, you crazy-ass bitch! HOAAAAHHHHH!!ï¿½ Tina bellowed and launched her surprise attack.

FWAM! TING! BAM! PING! SLAM! ZING!

Tina landed blows intermittently on the raging, adrenaline-fueled Harley, needing all her skill with her electric mace to block any punches from the Amazon, which were sure to be knockout punches to Tinaï¿½s less-than-invulnerable self. Indestructible arm protectors clashed with her mace, defying its electrical blows. After a particularly vicious volley, Tina landed an zorching blow to Harleyï¿½s back, or more precisely, her buttocks, sending her careening headfirst into a hill, impacting with a horrendous explosion of dirt and rocks. A few dozen yards away, Q-BE was seated, popcorn bag in hand, munching away.

ï¿½WOW!ï¿½ Q-BE marveled. ï¿½Now THIS is a super-powered catfight! Oh, this is H-O-T, HOT! Two thumbs up!ï¿½ he proclaimed.

ï¿½Not now, Q-BE!ï¿½ Tina ordered.

ï¿½But seriously,ï¿½ the speedster continued. ï¿½I have to know: what was it like toï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ he snickered, ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½tap that ass?!?ï¿½

ï¿½NOT NOW, Q-BE!!ï¿½ Tina bellowed, exasperated.

ï¿½Well, he does have a...point,ï¿½ Prophet chimed in, ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½or should I say, you do?ï¿½

ï¿½Donï¿½t encourage him!ï¿½ Tina admonished.

ï¿½Believe me, I donï¿½t. The man is a walking one-liner,ï¿½ Prophet acknowledged, rolling his eyes.

ï¿½And proud of it!ï¿½ Q-BE grinned and punched his fist into the air, after which he scrounged his bag for the last bits of popcorn. Feeling nothing, he rattled the bag and peeked inside. ï¿½Damn, out already.ï¿½ The bag confirmed empty, he crumpled it up and scurried to a nearby trash bin, casually dropping it in. ï¿½And here I was, hoping for a double feature. Cï¿½est la vie.ï¿½

Harley levitated out of the crater created by her crash landing. There was no time to think, however, as Q-BE landed a speeding punch to her midsection, knocking her to the ground. Tina, seeing her chance, swooped down and applied her mace to Harleyï¿½s neck. One jolt or swing, and Harley would be out for the count. Q-BE stood at a carefully-measured distance, drinking in the heavenly sight of these two women while safeguarding his own carefully-measured well-being. Harley, noting the mace perilously close to her throat, glowered at Tina.

ï¿½Stand down NOW,ï¿½ Tina commanded. ï¿½We donï¿½t want to hurt you...permanently.ï¿½

ï¿½You canï¿½t hurt me,ï¿½ Harley muttered defiantly. ï¿½Iï¿½m a BOOBYscyran! Expandalo Busto!ï¿½

Harleyï¿½s breasts ballooned instantly at the magic command, knocking Tina off-balance. The hawk responded by causing her bust to grow to meet Harleyï¿½s. Equally matched, the two bustlines smushed noisily together, quickly expanding to the size of four fleshy beanbags and leaving Harley, on the underside of gravity, gasping for air. Q-BEï¿½s eyes bugged out approvingly while his mouth gaped and his midsection did a quirky jump, which he hastily covered and massaged with his hand. Prophet, hovering overhead, smirked knowingly and tapped a few keys to start a conveniently-placed vibrator.

ï¿½You...cough-cough...have no power...cough-cough-gasp...over me,ï¿½ Harley grunted. ï¿½I am a...Boobyscyran. I answer...to noone, especially not...you, you freak-of-nature.ï¿½

ï¿½SAYS THE SUPER-POWERED CRAZY-ASS BITCH!!ï¿½ Tina bellowed, arching her back, increasing the pressure by growing to cover Harleyï¿½s entire body with her car-sized breasts.

ï¿½Yes...choke-cough...I do...ï¿½ Harley gasped.

Tina heard nothing further from the Boobyscyran, and thought she had suffocated her. Her car-sized breasts hefted nicely, and Tina thought she hadnï¿½t stopped growing, but then her eyes opened wide.

Harleyï¿½s breasts lifted and pushed Tinaï¿½s away as they swelled, causing Tinaï¿½s own titanic flesh mounds to press her into the ground, reversing the previous situation. Car-sized though Tinaï¿½s breasts were, they were no match for these mountains. With nipples the size of Q-BEï¿½s body, and equally-large, dark-pink areola, Harleyï¿½s body now rested entirely atop her breasts, which were beginning to compare in size to the surrounding hills, and both Prophet and Q-BE stared, stunned by the phenomenal BE achievement.

ï¿½Wow,ï¿½ they both murmured.

Tina closed her eyes and waited for her own suffocation to begin.

When she next opened her eyes, a caped figure peered down at her in the place of what would have been her and Harleyï¿½s breasts. Her own boobs were back to their normal size, obviously, but she remained confused about why she had survived. Through her bleary eyes, Tina made out five letters which spelled...

ï¿½MrHHH! What are YOU doing here?!?ï¿½ Tina exclaimed.

ï¿½Well, itï¿½s nice to see my reputation precedes me,ï¿½ MrHHH replied, offering his hand and helping Tina get to her feet. ï¿½It appears I stopped a simple misunderstanding between friends.ï¿½

ï¿½Have you gone nuts? I donï¿½t even know her!ï¿½

ï¿½Q-BE begs to differ. He went and found me while you were being suffocated. It was a good thing, too. I was barely in time to ï¿½jiggleï¿½ some sense into Harley. I couldnï¿½t let such a pretty lady come to harm.ï¿½ MrHHH smiled broadly at Tina, who smiled dreamily back, but then realized she was being observed by Breast Prophet, Q-BE, and a horde of Boobopolis police on scene.

ï¿½But what about my breasts? And hers?ï¿½ Tina inquired.

ï¿½Youï¿½re not the only BE-capable being on Earth, you know. Us three men,ï¿½ he pointed to himself, Prophet, and Q-BE, ï¿½we figured something out.ï¿½

ï¿½Actually,ï¿½ Q-BE chimed in. ï¿½It wasnï¿½t us. You two simply lost conciousness and reverted to normal size.ï¿½

ï¿½Q-BE!!!!ï¿½ Prophet yelled.

ï¿½I cannot tell a lie! EEEP!ï¿½ Q-BE retorted and ducked MrHHHï¿½s headsmack, only to be hit by Prophetï¿½s own rebounding swing.

SMACK!

ï¿½OWWIE!ï¿½

Chapter 6: Everyone Comes Together

ï¿½Do you require tea or coffee, Master Q-BE?ï¿½

ï¿½Coffee, extra creamer.ï¿½

ï¿½One lump or two?ï¿½

ï¿½Two, please.ï¿½

ï¿½Very good, sir.ï¿½

Rtpoe, Prophet Tenebraeï¿½s trusted butler, served Q-BE his coffee. He then raised his platter, and continued moving effortlessly around the room, serving everyone refreshments as they desired. MrHHH, Tina, Harley, and the red rascal waited tensely as they wondered why they had been requested to appear at the billionaireï¿½s mansion.

Mansion, however, was far too modest a word to describe Prophet Tenebraeï¿½s palatial residence. Though it had no artifices like a stereotypical castle, its seclusion, security, and structure rivaled that of the most impregnable royal compound. The sense of richness oozed from every detail of the home. The vaulted ceiling framed the multi-purpose main living space in which the foursome sat, which also featured a stunning view of Lake Tenebrae, the body of water owned and named by its exorbitantly wealthy benefactor, and the surrounding wooded wonders of the Tenebrae Natural Wildlife Refuge, the millionaireï¿½s rural retreat from Boobopolis and Gottits City which both surrounded his estate and protected him from paparazzi. The space itself featured customized stone tile flooring, sturdy oak furniture, and plush sofas imported from the finest European boutiques. All the heroes sat, peacefully sipping their beverages of choice, while Q-BE paced around, unable to stay still.

ï¿½Man, this is sooooo boring!ï¿½ Q-BE lamented as he downed his coffee in one gulp. ï¿½I hate waiting, especially for some rich guy.ï¿½

ï¿½Boring is a good thing at this point,ï¿½ Harley replied. ï¿½Iï¿½ve had my fill of excitement, as has everyone else, thank you.ï¿½

ï¿½So, no second date?ï¿½ Q-BE inquired teasingly. ï¿½You canï¿½t blame the disaster totally on me.ï¿½

ï¿½AS IF!ï¿½ Harley scoffed. ï¿½That was the first and last time I let you take me anywhere and imbibe anything. Surely there are men with more class than you.ï¿½

Rtpoe and MrHHH raised their hands.

ï¿½See?ï¿½ Harley indicated smugly.

ï¿½This ï¿½rich guyï¿½,ï¿½ MrHHH interjected, ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½happens to be the guy who singlehandedly made breast expansion a viable commercial and social institution. You know as well as any of us that we could not utilize our secret breast-enhancing powers until he legitimized the concept. Now, every woman has the chance to be the fantasy of their man, and I daresay those of all genders have found many uses for his amazing products.ï¿½

ï¿½Thatï¿½s just kinky,ï¿½ Q-BE sulked.

ï¿½You mean peachy.ï¿½

ï¿½No. I mean kinky. Weï¿½re all fetishists here, right? I mean, look at me. I practically worship Jennifer Love Hewitt.ï¿½ Q-BE gestured at his own outfit, which he had gotten repaired. ï¿½And, of course, thereï¿½s the BE thing.ï¿½

ï¿½Alright. Anyway, his was the gigantic corporate building that you, Tina, and Breast Prophet saved from total annihilation. It is rather unfortunate that you couldnï¿½t stop the criminals from stealing his precious formulas for success, as it casts an ever-expanding pallor over the BE fetish. Pun intended.ï¿½

ï¿½Iï¿½m sure it was,ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae called out as he entered the room.

ï¿½Prophet Tenebrae.ï¿½ MrHHH called out his dark compatriot. ï¿½Are you going to explain to us why we are gathered here? My temper has been very thin the past few days.ï¿½

ï¿½Mine too, for obvious reasons. Follow me,ï¿½ Prophet indicated the direction for the group to follow him.

ï¿½But what about Breast Prophet?ï¿½ Q-BE protested.

ï¿½Unfortunately, he was unable to be with us tonight. However, he has been briefed on all the pertinent information we will be discussing this evening.ï¿½

ï¿½Serves him right,ï¿½ Harley scoffed. ï¿½The next time I see him, heï¿½s getting punished for trying to blast me to smithereens.ï¿½

ï¿½Is that a promise?ï¿½

ï¿½Why do you care?ï¿½

ï¿½I want to have a film crew present when that happens. Thereï¿½s money to be had in lustful revenge.ï¿½

ï¿½You would know, wouldnï¿½t you?ï¿½ MrHHH asked pointedly.

ï¿½I rest my case,ï¿½ Prophet smiled.

ï¿½OK, so we know thereï¿½s a lot of thin nerves here,ï¿½ Q-BE interjected. ï¿½But, even though Iï¿½m having such a good time wondering if a brawl is going to break out here, Iï¿½d just as soon get us back on track here. You never did answer MrHHHï¿½s question, Tenebrae.ï¿½

ï¿½Oh, come now, Q-BE. Weï¿½re all friends here, in a loose sense. Call me Ten. And yes, we will be getting to the reasons I gathered you all here.ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae moved over to his gigantic, wall-sized bookcase, adjusting a few tomes, and with a soft SHOOF, a doorway was revealed, leading to a long stone staircase leading into the heart of the mountainous compound. Prophet led the way, with Rtpoe following close behind leading the group of curious heroes.

ï¿½Iï¿½m all a-flutter with anticipation,ï¿½ MrHHH drolled as they spiraled downwards.

ï¿½And you will not be disappointed, my good sir,ï¿½ Rtpoe responded. ï¿½My master does not treat this meeting casually. You were all meant to be here.ï¿½

ï¿½The odds against us all meeting are staggering,ï¿½ Harley spoke up.

ï¿½Well, you have to admit, Q-BE did his part in bringing us closer together,ï¿½ Tina scoffed.

ï¿½If thatï¿½s your idea of humor, save it, Boobagarian.ï¿½

ï¿½Well, same to you, Boobyscyran!ï¿½

ï¿½Space Slut!ï¿½

ï¿½Parthenonic Pussy!ï¿½

ï¿½ENOUGH,ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae intoned. ï¿½It is time for me to explain why you are all here.ï¿½

Tina and Harley sent lethal stares at each other, but continued descending quietly.

ï¿½As you know, I am the worldï¿½s pre-eminent human advocate for breast expansion. My myriad millions are invested many times over in producing a world where no woman has to go wanting for their own perfect set of large, natural breasts. Many advances have been made in this arena, but unfortunately, only temporary ones, at best. You yourselves know that any breast-expansion you cause is temporary,ï¿½ Prophet glanced at MrHHH, ï¿½but it is precisely the source of your powers that makes me most curious.

ï¿½It is because of the ransacking of my B.E.A. Salons, and most recently, the B.E.A. headquarters, that I am driven to this extent. It appears that my own underlings are trying to undermine my company by stealing from my coffers and filching my company secrets. What we had been doing most recently was experimenting with BE breast milk, hoping to glean exculpatory evidence about the temporary nature of BE, and make advances in that arena. This has been turned to your detriment, which I most deeply regret.ï¿½

ï¿½Not only that,ï¿½ MrHHH interjected, ï¿½But it also threatens the entire public culture of breast expansion. Weï¿½ve worked so hard to become a mainstream institution. We canï¿½t afford any return to the shadows. Our characters will be defined by our behavior, and our contrived deviancy would not bode well for our credibility.ï¿½

ï¿½Thatï¿½s exactly how I feel about my homeland!ï¿½ Harley and Tina exclaimed. They looked at each other again, not wanting to believe each otherï¿½s similarity.

ï¿½We have arrived.ï¿½ The millionaire had stopped at the bottom of the staircase, standing a few feet from a large metal entrance with dividing doors that awaited his voice command. ï¿½I do hope youï¿½ve enjoyed your stay thus far.ï¿½

The five heroes looked around at each other, each nodding their assent. Tina and Harley huffed and turned away from each other.

ï¿½Good. Because your stay is just about to get a lot longer. OPEN!ï¿½

In the blink of an eye, the doors slid apart, revealing a large cavern filled with advanced technology and a cadre of armed guards aiming directly at the entryway. Instead of bullets, however, their weapons were equipped with darts.

ï¿½FIRE!ï¿½ the command echoed, and several hundred darts were fired from all directions.

SIIIIIFT! PSSSSSH! SHHHHHHOOP! SSSSSSSSSSOCK!

TING! TANG! PING! FWANG!

Q-BE and MrHHH, the fastest members of the group, evaded the first volley of darts easily. Harley and Tina blocked as many darts as they could, but their volleys could not match the velocity and number of the darts. Each of them were felled by...

ï¿½BREAST MILK!ï¿½ MrHHH yelled at Q-BE as they continued their break-neck speed around the cavern, too quickly for the human eye to see.

ï¿½You think?ï¿½ Q-BE replied. ï¿½I thought you were the only one susceptible to it!ï¿½

ï¿½It obviously affects me, as weï¿½ve seen, but Prophet wouldnï¿½t gather us all here and use the same weapon against all of us just to get at me, no matter how much he hates me. I suspect that, in a large enough quantity, we must all share the weakness. Or at least thatï¿½s his logic.ï¿½

ï¿½Why?ï¿½

ï¿½We all can cause BE,ï¿½ MrHHH continued, ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½or can we?ï¿½

ï¿½I donï¿½t know!ï¿½ Q-BE responded. ï¿½Iï¿½ve never tried! Iï¿½m a scaredy-cat!ï¿½

ï¿½Figures.ï¿½

ï¿½Debate my merits later! Weï¿½ve got to fight!ï¿½

ï¿½No, Q-BE. We donï¿½t.ï¿½

ï¿½The hell we donï¿½t!ï¿½

ï¿½Listen! Fighting accomplishes nothing. We might be able to win, or we might not, and I donï¿½t want to test that theory. We need to get out of here and find someone who can help us, and I just might know someone.ï¿½

ï¿½Butï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ Q-BE protested, unable to muster up words to argue.

ï¿½Strategery,ï¿½ MrHHH stated. ï¿½Lose the battle, win the war.ï¿½

ï¿½You canï¿½t win!ï¿½ Prophet taunted. ï¿½Look at what my product is doing to your precious women.ï¿½

Both Tina and Harley writhed on the ground, peppered in darts. Pain, however, was the last thing on their minds.

ï¿½AAH! [pant pant] OH! EEEEAAAHHH!!ï¿½ Harley shrieked. ï¿½THE PLEASURE! [grunt] ORGASMIC!ï¿½

ï¿½MY BREASTS! [gasp] ON FIRE! [gulp] NIPPLES! [strain] SO HARD!ï¿½ Tina moaned.

ï¿½I THINK Iï¿½M GONNA CUM!ï¿½ both women screamed in unison.

ï¿½MMMMMMM-OOOOOOOOOO-RRRRRRR-EEEEEEE!ï¿½

Juices flowed as the women climaxed on the cold granite floor. Their breasts exploded out of their confinements as their usually-sizeable boobs raced to catch up with their libidosï¿½ commands. Braisï¿½s fell by the wayside, and corsets tore their seams as their fleshy cantaloupes expanded into watermelons, swelling and stretching, filling and flowing over the ground on which they rested.

MrHHH and Q-BE, astonished at the sight, had stopped dead in their tracks. Luckily for them, none of their opponents seemed too interested in attacking them at the moment.

The busts of the two women slowed their growth as each orb ballooned to 12 feet in diameter. In the midst of the rapid physiological changes, both of them began to convulse againï¿½ï¿½in pain. Veins, previously unseen on their massive mammaries, strained and throbbed across each womanï¿½s breasts.

ï¿½Hey, why is this HURTING?!?ï¿½ Harley yelled. ï¿½I never hurt before! Ye Gods! It feels like my heart and breasts are going to explode!ï¿½

Tina was in worse shape, sweating and wincing in spectacular fashion. ï¿½BOOBAGAR! WHERE ARE YOU, MY HOME PLANET? SAVE ME FROM MY BREASTS WHICH ARE ABOUT TO BLOW!ï¿½

Finally, in near-simultaneous fashion, both sets of ginormous jugs ejaculated their milk supplies. Gallons of milk erupted from their bosoms, coating everyone except a dodging Q-BE and flying MrHHH in their thick, viscous, opaque fluid.

ï¿½QUICK! Letï¿½s get while the getting is good!ï¿½ Q-BE urged as he avoided the flood of milk.

ï¿½Fine.ï¿½ MrHHH acknowledged. Both heroes dashed up the exit the way they came, leaving Prophet Tenebrae to flounder in the milky mess.

ï¿½SIR! [cough cough] They got away! Do you want us to pursue? [ptoo] ï¿½ the head guard inquired of Prophet Tenebrae as the guard attempted to shake off the milk-drenching he had received.

ï¿½No. Let them run,ï¿½ a soaked Prophet Tenebrae ordered as he was lifted to his feet by an equally-gooey Rtpoe. ï¿½We accomplished what we set out to do here, and, as icing on the cake, we secured two women who have the ability to expand their breasts. This is just the start of something that will come to fruition in its time.ï¿½ He cackled maniacally. ï¿½I always have a plan!ï¿½

ï¿½I do hope it works out for the best, sir,ï¿½ Rtpoe offered hopefully.

ï¿½Donï¿½t worry, Rtpoe, if my estimation of those two is not far off, theyï¿½ll follow the only course laid out to them,ï¿½ he smirked. ï¿½Then, weï¿½ll strike.ï¿½

ï¿½I canï¿½t believe that Prophet Tenebrae attacked us! And after we saved his ass, too!ï¿½

ï¿½Iï¿½ve never trusted the man as far as I can throw him, Q-BE,ï¿½ MrHHH said to his racing comrade. ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½and I can throw things pretty far.ï¿½

ï¿½So, where does that leave us?ï¿½

ï¿½What you should be asking is, where does that take us?ï¿½ MrHHH arced a few miles into the air as the duo crossed the ocean, and he saw in the distance towards what they had been headed. Returning to sea level, he pointed in the direction they were to head. ï¿½Weï¿½re only a couple hundred miles from my ï¿½Bastion of Boobitudeï¿½, so get prepared to hit some glaciers.ï¿½

ï¿½Canï¿½t you just give me a lift? Even a guy like me needs a break once in awhile!ï¿½

MrHHH rolled his eyes. ï¿½You never miss an opportunity to drag on me, do you?ï¿½

ï¿½A little professional courtesy would be nice! You ARE the one who can fly, you know!ï¿½

ï¿½It does you no good to complain to me. I am not sympathetic to people who make constant exclamations.ï¿½

ï¿½I do NOT talk in exclamations all the time!ï¿½ Q-BE pouted. ï¿½Sometimes I ask questions.ï¿½

MrHHH laughed at the riposte. ï¿½Well, you do have me there. You are one funny son-of-a-gun, Q-BE. I think Iï¿½ll keep you around. Fine, have a lift on me.ï¿½ The flying ï¿½man of cleavageï¿½ swooped down and scooped up his frenetic friend from the oceanï¿½s surface with mere seconds to spare as they reached the frozen continent of Antarctica. Their journey was nearly at its end.

ï¿½So, tell me again why we abandoned Harley and Tina?ï¿½

ï¿½Good question, Q-BE. The first indication I had that things were leading up to this point was that I couldnï¿½t see into Prophetï¿½s place of residence.ï¿½ Seeing his JLH-loving friend still confused, he clarified. ï¿½I mean, I couldnï¿½t see INTO the hill underneath the house. Only very heavy metals block my super vision, lead being one of the first to come to mind, and his house seemed like it was sitting on a foundation of the stuff. Lead being a comparitively soft metal, I figured something was going to go down, and it did.ï¿½

ï¿½You let us go into that situation KNOWING that we were about to be ambushed?ï¿½

ï¿½Call it selective disclosure. I couldnï¿½t let Prophet Tenebrae know I was onto him, even during the fight. He had to believe we were caught flat-footed.ï¿½ MrHHH continued, and Q-BE huffed. ï¿½Sorry. No insult intended, my fleet-footed friend. Anyway, little darts of BE breast milk arenï¿½t going to kill our friends. Prophet planned this. Heï¿½s invested in researching the powers of BE, as far as I can tell. For now, he doesnï¿½t want to kill us, but he might consider us expendable eventually. Between then and now, we have to figure out why he would do this to us.ï¿½

ï¿½So, we go to your ice-cold pad to chill?ï¿½ Q-BE deadpanned.

MrHHH rolled his eyes again. ï¿½Only because I need to contact a friend of mine.ï¿½

ï¿½May I ask who?ï¿½

ï¿½His name is HighwayStranger.ï¿½

The Bastion of Boobitude loomed large as the duo entered the heart of the Antarctic ice world. Q-BEï¿½s eyes gleamed in the reflection of this glittering crystal palace. Pillars of radiant brilliance diffused the sunï¿½s light throughout the compound, not only providing consistent warmth in this castle where the sun seemed to shine constantly, but also reflecting a rainbow of colors, glowing and shimmering with power. BoobTon may have been destroyed, but her legacy lives on here, Q-BE realized. The technology to create this place must almost be unfathomable, he thought in awe.

ï¿½Judging from the look on your face, Q-BE, I think you have a better idea of just what it takes to be me. I was blessed to have my birth father enclose a piece of BoobTon with me when I was sent to Earth. Itï¿½s taken me the better part of my adult life to construct this place. I value it almost as much as if the planet itself still existed.ï¿½

ï¿½You should be proud, MrHHH,ï¿½ Q-BE agreed. ï¿½I would just as soon not have come. A place like this canï¿½t risk being discovered.ï¿½

ï¿½No, Q-BE,ï¿½ MrHHH admonished. ï¿½You needed to see this. As much as you may irritate me and everyone else, you still donï¿½t deserve to be treated like a little child. Itï¿½s time to man up about such things, and youï¿½re as much a man as anyone else who fights for ï¿½Truth, Justice, and the Female Breastï¿½.ï¿½

ï¿½Awwww,ï¿½ Q-BE blushed. ï¿½Donï¿½t get too sentimental on me, you big oaf. I might start believing that you actually care about me. Maybe I should get some ice for your forehead, because you must be affected by your nostalgia for BoobTon.ï¿½

ï¿½Donï¿½t worry, nothingï¿½s going to change. Iï¿½m just warming you up for HighwayStranger. If you think I disapprove of your generally puerile antics, heï¿½s nothing short of viscerally disdaining. He has a military background, you see.ï¿½

ï¿½Oh, this oughta be fun, then,ï¿½ Q-BE rolled his eyes.

ï¿½Quite.ï¿½ MrHHH concurred.

Reaching the largest interior room of the crystal maze that was MrHHHï¿½s icy abode, the man of cleavage flew over to a horseshoe-shaped station in the center of the room. Q-BE hopped his way over on several crystal pillars which jutted out of a perilous abyss that took up the greater portion of the room. ï¿½Nice space planning. I didnï¿½t know Iï¿½d have to risk my life to get around here.ï¿½

ï¿½Well, itï¿½s designed to keep people out, and seeing as how I can fly, itï¿½s not a particular problem for me. But youï¿½re welcome to use my Leviator.ï¿½ MrHHH punched a few buttons, and a crystal rock console detached from the wall where it had been camouflaged at the duoï¿½s entrance, and flew over to the center station, where it attached itself to the stations crystal edifice at the open end of the horseshoe.

ï¿½Whatï¿½s that analogy about a snake and death? I think it applies here.ï¿½ Q-BE rubbed the back of his neck in obvious embarrassment.

ï¿½Quite.ï¿½ MrHHH continued punching buttons until a deeply feminine voice emanated from everywhere.

< GOOD MORNING, MRHHH. >

ï¿½Good morning, Chrystal. We need your help.ï¿½

< HOW MAY I ASSIST YOU AND Q-BE TODAY? >

ï¿½Please get me HighwayStranger on the line. We need to have a chat.ï¿½

< ACCESSING DATABASE. ESTABLISHING TRANSLUMINAL CONNECTION. WILL THAT BE ALL? >

ï¿½A cup of coffee for both of us would be nice. One of those Colombian bean varieties. You choose.ï¿½

< COFFEE ARRIVING ON FOOD PORT THREE. CREAMER AND SUGAR MIXED TO YOUR TASTE. >

ï¿½Thank you, Chrystal. Please resume your previous processes. The universe needs mapped, you know.ï¿½

< PREVIOUS PROCESSES RESUMED. MAPPING SECTOR #C524185D7E. >

BREEEEEEP!

ï¿½Well, well, long time no see, MrHHH.ï¿½ a deep masculine voice resonated as a holographic projection was placed on the wall across from the station. ï¿½And you brought a friend. How quaint.ï¿½

Q-BE, still in anxious awe at MrHHHï¿½s palace, struggled to maintain a veneer of toughness. ï¿½Thatï¿½s Q-BE to you, buster. And donï¿½t you forget it!ï¿½

ï¿½Oh, ho, ho, the uber-famous Q-BE.ï¿½ HighwayStranger mocked. ï¿½Iï¿½m shivering in my boots. Your caustic wit is legendary. Just donï¿½t try to save my puppy for me, please.ï¿½

ï¿½But-but, that-Iï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ Q-BE sputtered. ï¿½Well, BLEAH to you, too!ï¿½ the speedster stuck his tongue out defiantly.

ï¿½Enough with the banter, HighwayStanger,ï¿½ MrHHH interjected. ï¿½You two can have at it any old time, but right now I need your help.ï¿½

ï¿½The last time you asked for my help, I ended up in a coma for a week. Me and my ring will just stay out of whatever you have planned for us this time, thank you very much.ï¿½ HighwayStranger motioned to cut off the connection.

ï¿½WAIT!ï¿½ MrHHH shouted, and HighwayStranger paused. ï¿½Thereï¿½s some busty women in it for you. Two busty women, both with the power to expand their breasts.ï¿½

ï¿½And Iï¿½m supposed to believe that?ï¿½ HighwayStranger raised his eyebrows incredulously.

ï¿½Heï¿½s telling the truth, HighwayStranger,ï¿½ Q-BE spoke up. ï¿½Itï¿½s a matter of the fate of breast expansion for the entire world, and if MrHHH says he needs you, he needs you. Did he need you last time?ï¿½

ï¿½Wellï¿½ï¿½ï¿½ HighwayStranger took this information in stride.

ï¿½Would he have succeeded without you?ï¿½

ï¿½Noï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

ï¿½Well, then, are you going to man up about this, or not?ï¿½ Q-BE challenged.

ï¿½I see,ï¿½ HighwayStranger stated flatly. After a short pause, he answered. ï¿½Count me in.ï¿½

The screen vanished.

ï¿½Well, that was quite the manning up you did there, Q-BE.ï¿½ MrHHH looked impressed at his flashy friend.

ï¿½If thereï¿½s one thing I canï¿½t stand, itï¿½s people who question my character or the character of my friends.ï¿½ Q-BE explained. ï¿½A little switch goes off in my head, and suddenly another person takes over, and itï¿½s not really me, but a braver sort of me.ï¿½

ï¿½Kinda like when youï¿½re defending ï¿½Truth, Justice, and the Female Breastï¿½?ï¿½ MrHHH smirked.

ï¿½Exactly,ï¿½ Q-BE grinned.

ï¿½Understood. But they donï¿½t call me the ï¿½man of cleavageï¿½ for nothing.ï¿½

ï¿½Is that a CHALLENGE?!?ï¿½ Q-BE screamed teasingly.

ï¿½Only if you man up about it.ï¿½ MrHHH chuckled. ï¿½Chrystal, send these coordinates to HighwayStranger. We need to get going.ï¿½

< COORDINATES SENT. WILL THAT BE ALL? >

ï¿½Map away, Chrystal. Weï¿½re outta here.ï¿½

ï¿½But I havenï¿½t even finished my coffee!ï¿½ Q-BE protested.

ï¿½So, how is HighwayStranger going to know who we are?ï¿½

Q-BE, as usual, was his quizzical self as he uneasily awaited the arrival of HighwayStranger, MrHHHï¿½s superhero military man. A stint in the Marines during the end of the Cold War had led to a lucrative career in military intelligence, specializing in xenophobic research. If there was anything out there in the great unknown, the military had a strategic interest to know about it, or at least have a plan to respond to it. Until recently, that was HighwayStrangerï¿½s responsibility.

That was when they discovered the BE Lantern Corps, the first real extra-terrestrial civilization/organization of note to the world. Rather, the BE Lantern Corps had discovered Earth, and the few superheroes like MrHHH who had made enough of a technological splash to be recognized by the Corps. Of course, the world had heard of MrHHH and knew of his BoobTonian origins, but the military had deemed the Earth to be unfit to embrace the idea of a complete cadre of galactic defenders. So, HighwayStranger had been covertly recruited as Earthï¿½s liaison to the BE Lantern Corps, heir to all the power and responsibility with the position. Other than his official black spandex outfit, complete with teal boots, gloves, and mask, his sole connection to the Corps was a small, blue ring denoting the symbols ï¿½BEï¿½.

ï¿½I think the question is, how are we going to recognize him?ï¿½ MrHHH replied. Both heroes sat incognito on a bench in Busty Park, which was still recovering from its confrontation with Harley and the other heroes. They had informed each other of their pseudonyms for everyday life, MrHHH as Erik Nimdabot, and Q-BE as Dexter Martin. They awaited the arrival of HighwayStranger from wherever he had been patrolling the world, subtlely shaping world events with the powers of his ring, mostly to lessen the impact of disasters. Covert as he was, he walked a fine line between discovery and assistance.

ï¿½Erik Nimdabot, I presume?ï¿½ a figure dressed in sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt approached them behind the bench. Neither hero turned to face this figure, though MrHHH had to pinch Q-BE to keep him seated.

ï¿½OWWIE!ï¿½ Q-BE hissed.

ï¿½And the fabulous Dexter Martin, too. Hail, hail, the gangï¿½s all here.ï¿½

ï¿½Please, take a seat, sir,ï¿½ MrHHH invited. ï¿½Iï¿½d like to introduce you to Dexter face-to-face for the first time.ï¿½

ï¿½No dice. My face is on a ï¿½needs-to-knowï¿½ basis, and he doesnï¿½t ï¿½needs-to-knowï¿½.ï¿½

ï¿½Fine,ï¿½ MrHHH conceded. ï¿½Then give us the straight dope. You of all people ought to know something about what Prophet Tenebrae is planning.ï¿½

ï¿½True, true,ï¿½ the hooded figure continued. ï¿½I do have a unique perspective on the situation. Prophet Tenebrae is currently researching the properties of BE breast milk. Apparently, it has miraculous short-term benefits on women and babies. For women, it smoothes complexion, increases libido, improves breast size, and causes hair and nails to become dramatically healthier and stronger. In babies, it calms their cries, promotes health, and is generally superior to any formula previously invented by man. He plans to market it exclusively as his new, improved, milk product formula, as you have heard.ï¿½

ï¿½This is all well and good,ï¿½ noted MrHHH, ï¿½but whatï¿½s new about that?ï¿½

ï¿½There are...side effects,ï¿½ intoned the dark figure. ï¿½The product, as it is currently fabricated, is highly addictive. The long-term effects are unknown at this point, but the current postulation is that the body builds up a resistance to the substance over time, reducing its effect. Women, appreciative of their newly-gained lustre, become angry and irritable if not given sufficient quantities to maintain their perceived improvement in image. Their libido can become permanently increased, compounding the need to appear attractive to members of the opposite sex. The worst-case scenario: a bunch of power-hungry, sex-crazed, milk-craving, unkempt, wild bimbos. Death would be a preferable option for these poor, unfortunate souls.ï¿½

ï¿½A whole lotta guys are going to be reaping just desserts for putting the women in their lives on this substance,ï¿½ Q-BE mused. ï¿½Theyï¿½ll get some great sex in the bargain, though.ï¿½

ï¿½At what cost?ï¿½ the dark figure admonished. ï¿½The fabric of society is at stake. If even a portion of the general female population goes mad, the results would be disastrous. Sodom and Gomorrah would have nothing on our modern cities if this were to result.ï¿½

ï¿½Well, I tend to think thatï¿½s true, regardless,ï¿½ MrHHH interjected. ï¿½What about the babies?ï¿½

ï¿½Imagine, if you will, a world without men.ï¿½

ï¿½You mean the formula changes their genetic makeup?ï¿½ MrHHH looked astonished.

ï¿½Rest assured, todayï¿½s infants, currently differentiated as male, will not change gender. However, they will all become extremely docile and effeminate, without the balls, if you will, to take control of the world back from the women. Fetuses, however, influenced by their motherï¿½s BE milk diet, will revert to every humanï¿½s default gender preference.ï¿½

ï¿½At some point, the only babies born are going to be female,ï¿½ Q-BE realized.

ï¿½Precisely.ï¿½ The hooded figure nodded.

ï¿½This is astounding,ï¿½ Q-BE wondered. ï¿½The feminization of an entire cultureï¿½ï¿½an entire planetï¿½ï¿½could fundamentally shift our social paradigms. In vitro fertilization eliminates the need for men except as sperm donors. Men would be slaves, while women ran the world.ï¿½

ï¿½That is a danger,ï¿½ the shrouded being stated. ï¿½That is why I have comeï¿½ï¿½to save your race from itself.ï¿½

The figure removed the hood and changed his appearance. The face that MrHHH had associated with HighwayStranger was now morphing into an alien being, green as the grass, but hairless, with glowing red eyes.

ï¿½What the HELL?ï¿½ MrHHH exclaimed in alarm. He stood up and cased his opponent, readying for the fight.

ï¿½Well, youï¿½re not HighwayStranger, are you?ï¿½ Q-BE deadpanned as he turned to greet this alien entity.

ï¿½One would be a bilious prat to think otherwise,ï¿½ the shapeshifter agreed.

ï¿½Hey! That would make me an argumentative ass!ï¿½ the speedster grumbled.

ï¿½Or a goat-like idiot, whichever you prefer,ï¿½ MrHHH smirked.

ï¿½Then I suppose you could call me BillPratt,ï¿½ the alien smiled. ï¿½Irony excepted, of course.ï¿½

Chapter 7: All Together Now

ï¿½So, Prophet Tenebrae, now that your companyï¿½s sales have skyrocketed, thanks to your tremendously successful new milk formula, what are you planning next?ï¿½

ï¿½Well, itï¿½s quite simple, really,ï¿½ the mellifluous millionaire mused. ï¿½I plan to open a BE breast milk charity drive with the ultimate goal to provide ï¿½A gallon for every girlï¿½. Philanthropy becomes me, you know,ï¿½ he chortled, and inhaled a drag on one of his favorite Cuban cigars. Lazily, he released the puff into the air, looking so much like the dragon that protected a fortune.

Tamara Tame could hardly resist uttering a dreamy sigh in this world-exclusive interview with THE Prophet Tenebrae. Here was the man of her dreams, rich, handsome, successful, and witty, eating out of her hand. So stately, so elegant, so utterly refined and well-mannered, there was hardly a fault to find on this musky morsel of man meat. Were it not for her own delicate sense of decorum, Tamara knew she would probably be openly drooling. Collecting herself, she took a quaff from her glass of liqueur on the rocks. Dinner had been utterly orgasmic, a splemdid blend of pastas, meats, salads, and desserts. Though she couldnï¿½t name half of what sheï¿½d eaten, she knew that sheï¿½d never again taste a grander feast, unless, of course...

ï¿½Prophet dear,ï¿½ Tamara inquired in her most alluring fashion. Dressed in a slinky little black dress, her newly-enhanced dï¿½colletage filled out its plunging neckline, which extended down to Tamaraï¿½s taut tummy and slim waistline. Entranced though Tamara was by Prophet, he was equally mesmerized by this treacle tart. ï¿½I fear that our conversation is at an end. How could I possibly entertain thoughts of objectivity on this assignment when I am so--ï¿½ she rubbed Prophetï¿½s leg invitingly ï¿½--obviously enamoured of you?ï¿½

Yes, he thought. Finally, a chance to be with my heartï¿½s desire, and MrHHH nowhere in sight! I knew that making this formula would transform her, but I am utterly astounded at the success of my genius. There are no words to describe my happiness now... ï¿½Oh, Tamara, youï¿½ve no idea how long Iï¿½ve waited to hear those words,ï¿½ he sighed languorously.

ï¿½That what I thought,ï¿½ the fully-in-control Tamara replied, startling Prophet. ï¿½Hit it, BOYS!ï¿½ Tamara yelled.

SSSSMAAAAAASSSSHHHH!!!!

MrHHH, Q-BE, and BillPratt entered the building by flying through the gigantic glass vista overlooking Lake Tenebrae. MrHHH released Q-BE, whom he had been carrying, dropping Q-BE on the nearest guard, whom the speedster rapidly pummeled into unconciousness. In the blink of an eye, dozens of guards appeared as a mansion-wide klaxon rang out, so Q-BE dashed from guard to guard, leveling them with forceful punches, aided by his new, improved, gleaming brass knuckles, while MrHHH also handled a pile of guards.

ï¿½Hey, you know what? These things really work!ï¿½ Q-BE exclaimed.

ï¿½Donï¿½t thank me, thank BillPratt,ï¿½ MrHHH shouted amidst the melee. ï¿½It only figures that he would see such an improvement. As well-versed as we are in speed, it should have been obvious.ï¿½ MrHHH accentuated his point by slamming two guards into each other with his hands.

ï¿½Prophet Tenebrae, you have very little time to capitulate, so I suggest that you do it sooner rather than later,ï¿½ BillPratt intoned as he hovered towards Prophet like a ghostly apparition, phasing through several guards and rendering them unconscious.

ï¿½Iï¿½ll not be capitulating to the likes of you, you mangy Martian, you or your cronies,ï¿½ Prophet snatched Tamara and covered her face with a chloroform wrap, knocking her unconcious, making a mad dash for his hideout beneath the building, punching an emergency button that transformed the stairs into a chute.

ï¿½NO! TAMARA!ï¿½ MrHHH screamed and reached out to Tamara, to no avail. Piled on by half-a-dozen guards, MrHHH seemed buried by bodies, but with a final tremendous convulsion, he tossed all his adversaries off himself, sending them slamming into various walls and objects. Not hesitating a moment longer, he began spinning rapidly, drilling his way through the floor and into the lead-encased cavern below. The entire mansion shook with his tremors, as chunks of rock flew everywhere. Following his lead, Q-BE jumped into MrHHHï¿½s newly-formed hole, while BillPratt calmly turned incorporeal and phased through the floor.

Upon reaching the floor where before dozens of guards had been stationed to take them out, MrHHH and Q-BE saw the horrific truth. Tina and Harley had been strapped to metallic, conducting tablets and connected to a series of electrical power conduits that encased their hands and feet. These massive conduits flowed with a searing amount of electrical energy. In a corner of the cavern, there was a large holding tank filled with fluid, containing something inside while simultaneously examining it. Complex systems were attached to this creature, who seemed humanoid in appearance. It was an unconscious HighwayStranger and his BE ring, providing the power to infuse the women with unfathomable BE energy. Prophet Tenebrae monitored a master control conduit, cradling the limp Tamara in one arm.

ï¿½Have you gone completely INSANE, Prophet?ï¿½ MrHHH screamed. ï¿½What in the HELL are you playing at?ï¿½

Prophet huffed at the remark. ï¿½To this day, Iï¿½ve never understood why no one sees the connection. Maybe itï¿½s because Iï¿½m hiding in plain sight, a sort of ï¿½Forest for the treesï¿½ kind of deal. But, if it works, it works.ï¿½ The man placed a garment over his head which had forever separated his two personas, melding into one the thoughts of all those present. Q-BE, predictably, was first to speak.

ï¿½Well, that explains how you pay for all that stuff.ï¿½

MrHHH was unfazed by this revelation. ï¿½I donï¿½t care WHO you are, what gives you the right to create this weaponized BE?!?ï¿½ He began lunging at Prophet, but BillPratt restrained him with surprising ease. ï¿½HEY! Let me go! Get out of my way, Martian!ï¿½

ï¿½You are missing several critical pieces of information, MrHHH,ï¿½ the enigmatic alien replied. ï¿½Therefore, it would not be logical to proceed until you have them.ï¿½

ï¿½What am I missing? Prophet Tenebrae AKA Breast Prophet has two women strapped to electrified tables, charged by an unconscious friend of mine, HighwayStranger, who, somehow, managed to get captured by Prophet Tenebrae, and, of all people, you appear to have no involvement whatsoever, excepting you masquerading as my friend and leading us on this SUICIDE mission! Youï¿½re both criminals, and youï¿½re BOTH going DOWN!!ï¿½

ï¿½Incorrect. I am many things, among them a telepath, but I have not assisted anyone in committing a crime,ï¿½ BillPratt informed his enraged comrade.

ï¿½THEN GIVE ME A GODDAMNED EXPLANATION!ï¿½

ï¿½Very well. You have asked, and so you shall receive.ï¿½ BillPrattï¿½s eyes glowed a deep hue of red, and suddenly, reality phased out for everyone in the room not already comatose.

< STOP! >

As the blackness became clearer, an enormous voice echoed from everywhere and nowhere, stopping everyone in their tracks. They were still free to move, but an irresistable urge compelled them to halt their current actions. Prophet Tenebrae grunted and began to laugh capriciously at this turn of events.

ï¿½I hope you find this as informative as I will boring, MrHHH. My only hope is that we can be done with this before reality catches up to us,ï¿½ he somberly intoned.

ï¿½Whatï¿½s that supposed to mean?ï¿½ MrHHH inquired incredulously.

ï¿½SHH! SHH! SHHHHH! The movieï¿½s about to start!ï¿½ Q-BE interjected, pointing excitedly at a small, blue-tinged image ahead in the darkness that slowly grew and grew to engulf the heroes. As the men turned to marvel at their new environment, Q-BE imagined himself a bowl of movie popcorn, and, magically, it appeared. ï¿½SWEET!ï¿½ he squealed and happily chowed down on his imagined treat. Deciding he wanted truly to relax, he chirped ï¿½Have a care; hereï¿½s a chair!ï¿½ Q-BE imagined three loveseats, in which the three men sat.

ï¿½Do I even want to know how you decided you could just conjure up things in this reality?ï¿½ MrHHH rolled his eyes.

ï¿½You can thank my endless daydreaming and fantasizing for that. I told you I didnï¿½t have an alternate reality that featured me getting snooky from a busty Amazon!ï¿½

ï¿½Ah, yes,ï¿½ the man of cleavage acknowledged. ï¿½And the strange gets stranger.ï¿½ He rubbed his temples in frustration and resignation.

< LISTEN! >

The three men snapped to attention as a floating light appeared in a flash and shimmered towards them, resolving itself into the (now) familiar figure of BillPratt. Rather than speaking with words, BillPratt spoke directly to their minds, maintaining the ominous, irresistible voice that compelled their seats forward into the reality. Facing them, he began to speak, or rather, think.

< We have to go back several decades to understand the genesis of the conflict in which we now find ourselves engaged. > He turned away from them outwards into the reality which streamed around them like so many beams of bluish light. In a flash, they appeared on the surface of Mars, only this time, it was teeming with Martian life. < This was my homeworld, Mars, in approximately your era of the 1910s and 1920s. >

ï¿½I hate to ask an obvious question, but how did we not see you?ï¿½ Q-BE asked.

< Given your civilizationï¿½s comparatively primitive technology, we had no trouble in masking our presence. But such is not our concern here. > BillPratt pointed at a skyscraper, which was the sole edifice to stab the sky in the bustling Martian metropolis in which they found themselves.

< Like you, we shared a love for and appreciation of breast expansion technology, developing much the same formulas and remedies that you yourself have stumbled upon, Prophet Tenebrae. >

ï¿½I think the word youï¿½re looking for is ï¿½inventedï¿½. I invented those things all on my own.ï¿½ Prophet scoffed.

< Incorrect. The same yellow sun which gives MrHHH his powers, among them the ability to cause BE, also springs forth into full development as other beings adapt and use the universeï¿½s gift to them, most notably HighwayStrangerï¿½s BE Ring, and Q-BEï¿½s speed, both of which are powered by the divine BE Force. >

ï¿½So I can cause BE, TOO?ï¿½ Q-BE shrieked.

< As you have not fully tapped into your connection to the BE Force, I cannot say. >

ï¿½Awwww, man!ï¿½ Q-BE slumped in his chair, dejected.

ï¿½Itï¿½s all starting to make a little more sense now,ï¿½ MrHHH said. ï¿½The Sunï¿½s own stellar makeup influenced your culture and ours to develop breast expansion technology, and gifted each of us anomalous beings with our own individual powers of breast expansion.ï¿½

< That is as close to reality as your intellect can comprehend. Only an Nth level intellect could fully grasp and tap into the BE Force. >

ï¿½Or an idiot savant,ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae rolled his eyes.

ï¿½Mmey! Mi hermed thad!ï¿½ Q-BE replied with his mouth full of popcorn.

ï¿½Thatï¿½s why HighwayStranger uses his ring as a power conduit,ï¿½ MrHHH concluded. ï¿½If he were to directly channel the BE Force, he might not live to tell the tale.ï¿½

< Correct. > BillPratt waved his arm, causing the scene to flash and change. Now they were inside a Martian laboratory, where several Martians of similar appearance to BillPratt rushed around, monitoring various power conduits and systems of advanced technology. The metal which covered almost everything in a green color nearly matched the Martiansï¿½ own skin tone. < Like yourselves, we believed that it was best to advocate and advance breast expansion for our entire culture, inculcating BE and its lactate by-products into every corner of society. > Images of homes, playgrounds, businesses, and workplaces flashed by, featuring various Martians in various states of the throes of breast expansion. < At first, it was miraculous and spectacular. Our culture had been in dire need of a revival in breeding numbers. It was hoped that an increased number of females in the population would be the salvation of our race, but unfortunately, it was our downfall. >

Images flashed across the virtual landscape like so many newsreels of old. Explosions, armed forces, and atrocities of a grand scale now plagued the Martian landscape. Women were warring amongst each other, tearing apart the landscape, and enslaving what was left of the male Martian population.

< Before you again inquire about our ability to remain hidden during this time of war, Q-BE, your entire planet, I believe, was involved in its second worldwide conflict itself during this time, am I not correct? >

ï¿½Uh, yeah. Okay, thanks, der Billster,ï¿½ Q-BE answered. ï¿½I think.ï¿½

< I was one of the last of my kind to survive this endless bloodshed. After spending approximately 5 of your Earth Years in what you may call a ï¿½male prisonï¿½, I escaped and managed to pilot a single-person warcraft to Earth. Unfortunately, I did not escape unnoticed, and I was captured at your city of Roswell, New Mexico. Your military subsequently used the technology to fashion themselves bombs of immense powerï¿½ï¿½atomic bombs, I believe they are called? >

ï¿½But wait,ï¿½ Q-BE pondered. ï¿½Didnï¿½t the United States invent the bomb long before Area 51?ï¿½

< To keep the most dangerous technology out of mankindï¿½s hands, I used a time-portal, a technology far beyond your own, to send the technology into the past. Unfortunately, some of it landed in the more recent past, resulting in the development of the atomic bomb. >

ï¿½Ah, I see,ï¿½ Q-BE munched poignantly. ï¿½Us poor dumb humans. Unable to make any of our own scientific advances.ï¿½

< If you must know, this technology also resulted in the evolution of apes intoï¿½ï¿½ >

ï¿½OK! I think weï¿½ve heard enough, Bill. No need to cause a time paradox,ï¿½ MrHHH interjected.

< Indeed, MrHHH. Or should I say, Erik Nimdabot? >

ï¿½Ah-HA!ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae yelled. ï¿½Now thatï¿½s the first piece of sense youï¿½ve made this whole time, Martian.ï¿½

ï¿½Hey, the gloves are off,ï¿½ MrHHH cracked his knuckles. ï¿½I donï¿½t think I have to tell you that your maniacal rantings revealed your identity, too, buster.ï¿½ He smirked at Prophet. ï¿½That, and I believe I have a leg up on you, strength-wise?ï¿½

ï¿½Touchï¿½,ï¿½ Prophet replied. ï¿½But youï¿½re much too good a man to ever go through with your threat, arenï¿½t you?ï¿½ He locked stares with MrHHH again, this time only briefly.

ï¿½Well, yeah?ï¿½ Q-BE retorted, feeling left out. ï¿½Well, well, Iï¿½m Dexter Martin!ï¿½ He whipped off his own mask to confirm his identity.

ï¿½Sorry to tell you, mate, but I have no idea who you are,ï¿½ Prophet patted the dejected speedster on the shoulder. ï¿½Though I suppose I should probably learn sooner rather than later.ï¿½

< ENOUGH! > BillPratt commanded. < It was for many years that I was held in stasis by your government. I was conscious of time passing, but unable to free myself from the chamber in which I was encased. It was only recently that Prophet Tenebrae managed to secure access to some classified documentation on my arrival to Earth which prompted him to plot my freedom, albeit with his own interests in mind. >

ï¿½Hey, Iï¿½m a self-centered bloke, what can I say?ï¿½ Prophet agreed.

< It was through this that Prophet Tenebrae learned of HighwayStrangerï¿½s existence, coercing his agreement to become part of this current experiment, the results of which you see here. >

ï¿½So, thereï¿½s the crux of the matter. If we all favor BE, why are we fighting?ï¿½ Q-BE wondered.

< You were unaware of Prophet Tenebraeï¿½s plans. I assisted him in capturing HighwayStranger and bringing all of us into this situation because of the REHABBERS. >

The surrounding landscape turned as dark as BillPrattï¿½s tone as a single light focused on a slug-like creature. Pink in appearance, with little more than antennae for feelers, the appearance of the slug belied BillPrattï¿½s somber tone.

ï¿½Lemme guess. Thatï¿½s a REHABBER...thing?ï¿½ Q-BE looked slightly grossed out. ï¿½Itï¿½s just a slug!ï¿½

< This ï¿½slugï¿½ is not a ï¿½REHABBERï¿½ in the strictest sense, Q-BE. It is of the REHABBERS. Appearances, as you have seen, can be deceiving. > BillPratt admonished the speedster. < This mere parasite is gifted with phenomenal psychic powers rivaling those of my own species. These creatures were mere slugs, as you say, until 2,000 years ago, when they evolved the ability to inculcate themselves into other speciesï¿½ brains. At first, we Martians took well to the idea of a second sentient life force developing on our home planet. We took pity on these poor creatures, who without hosts could boast none of the sensory benefits usually befitting a sentient race. We developed the technology to communicate with these slugs by creating a box into which they could place themselves and speak plainly to us. >

ï¿½I have a feeling that thereï¿½s more to the story,ï¿½ MrHHH announced. ï¿½The question of psychic abilityï¿½ï¿½an ability your own race boasts.ï¿½

< You are correct, MrHHH. > BillPratt acknowledged. Scenes of the Martian underworld and its culture flashed across the screen, including the relations between the slugs and Martians. < The slugs craved more than a stationary existence. Senses mattered only if they could gain mobility, and that they found in abundance in the lower life-forms we Martians cultivated for our own existence. Fighting began between our two races as we sought control over resources that had previously belonged exclusively to us Martians. Efforts were made to expand the pool of resources, but the risk of exposure to humankind was too great to allow life to flourish unabated on our planet, and humankind was too primitive to handle the technologies that we Martians utilized. >

ï¿½Bah. You were simply afraid that weï¿½d wipe you out,ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae mocked. ï¿½The constant fighting our ancestors did probably further disabused you of the human race. A pity, given the end result. We might have been able to keep you people from doing something stupid.ï¿½

< I hold no sorrow for those of my Martian kind who turned a blind eye to humanity. Exposure to our culture might have unified your own civilization before you developed your own weapons of mass destruction. >

ï¿½Weapons that you facilitated the creation of, Martian,ï¿½ Prophet shot back.

< My own culpability is not lost upon me, I can assure you. That is a time paradox we can explore in greater detail at a later date. > The scenes faded to a laboratory where Martian scientists worked with REHABBERS in the creation of a new race of beings. < Beginning shortly after your planetï¿½s first world war, The REHABBERS, despite our best efforts at coexistence, had become a proud and aggressive race. They demanded that we Martians create a Final Solution to the ï¿½host body crisisï¿½ that had overwhelmed the Martian way of life. So, our leaders gathered together to decide how best to proceed in this endeavor. Technology was out of the question, as we were not going to allow the REHABBERS to attain technological equality and eliminate our only advantage. We could, however, fashion them a suitable host species to which they could permanently bind themselves and become symbiotes. >

ï¿½The Final Solution: give them a stake in your own survival by making them like you,ï¿½ Q-BE realized.

< Correct. So, we fashioned the REHABBERS bodies in our own image, with similar capabilities, but with one important difference. >

ï¿½No psychic ability. Yawn,ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae scoffed. ï¿½That turned out well for you.ï¿½

< Our Martian culture knew little of treachery and betrayal because our psychic abilities rendered everyoneï¿½s mind an open book. We thought little of the slugs that had brought us to this point in our own survival, and so we treated them as unequal in worthiness to us. This fact was not lost upon the REHABBERS, in particular, their leader, Umquan-Sellet-Mylor. >

As if in response to the name, the dream-laboratoryï¿½s lighting darkened as the culmination of the Martian scientistsï¿½ experiments was soon at hand.

< The day of Final Solution, better known in your culture as December 7, 1941 AD, was greeted by Martians and REHABBERS alike with great fanfare. A ceremony was planned in which Umquan and 11 of his select leaders would be the first REHABBERS given bodies of the new species. With their successful implantation, it was hoped that the Final Solution would really be the end to the burgeoning conflict between the REHABBERS and us Martians. >

ï¿½My fink my fee whir fif fis going,ï¿½ Q-BE eagerly munched popcorn in anticipation.

< Alas, Q-BE, you are correct. At the moment that the 12 REHABBERS were to exit their boxes and merge with their new host bodies, they reversed course and seized control of the 12 Martians holding the boxes, the ones who had most supported this momentous occasion: The Martian Elder-Councils, the oligarchy selected by the Martian populace to lead them. >

ï¿½But, you didnï¿½t know that this was going to happen...ï¿½ MrHHH mused.

< Until that day, the REHABBERS had taken great care not to reveal their own psychic abilities. The composition of the Martian soil, combined with the solar rays gathered for experimentation on the REHABBERS, had caused them to develop similar psychic skills to our own. This same experimentation also lead to the development of the breast-expansion technology that had driven our own Martian population boom. >

ï¿½Eliminate the technology, eliminate the Martians,ï¿½ MrHHH continued.

< Unfortunately, the technology ended up eliminating us Martians. With control of the most powerful Martians on the planet, the REHABBERS had access to our deepest, darkest secretï¿½ï¿½ >

ï¿½Weapons of Mass Destruction,ï¿½ MrHHH realized. ï¿½The Elders must have foreseen some sort of betrayal or tragedy involving the REHABBERS.ï¿½

< The Elders had long ago ordered a secret construction of Weapons of Mass Destruction to eliminate the REHABBERS should the fighting between our species flare into open rebellion by the REHABBERS. They called it the ï¿½Ultimateï¿½ Final Solution, the last-resort to which our kind could flee in case we needed ultimately to eliminate the REHABBERS from our ecosystem. >

ï¿½Sounds like the same issues we were facing in World War II,ï¿½ Q-BE noted. ï¿½You were prepared to kill those whom you deemed inferior because they were cramping your style.ï¿½

< You paint with too broad a brush, Q-BE. The Elders had seen the aggressive stance that the REHABBERS were taking, and had felt they were only acting to protect their people. >

ï¿½So, because the REHABBERS ï¿½started itï¿½, itï¿½s your right to exterminate a whole species?ï¿½

< Humankindï¿½s past is far from laudable, as you so stated, Q-BE. Survival knows no moral boundaries. >

ï¿½Enough!ï¿½ MrHHH shouted. ï¿½We can score debate points later. Bill here must have some purpose to this whole story.ï¿½

< Indeed. > BillPratt agreed. < The chemical which provided breast expansion for the Martian civilization also proved toxic to the REHABBERS and their habitats. It was thought that, were it necessary, the entire Martian planet could be saturated with this chemical, killing all those REHABBERS without hosts. Removing the pools by which the REHABBERS reproduced would ultimately eliminate them over the course of several years. >

ï¿½But the REHABBERS were ready,ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae sighed. ï¿½Seriously, cut to the ending, please? This is like watching paint dry.ï¿½

< The REHABBERS had fashioned space-faring ships, after a sort, able to maintain orbit around the Martian planet, but not able to travel swiftly to other worlds. In these ships were created pools in which thousands of REHABBERS could live out their existence, or until another planet came along. >

ï¿½Earth,ï¿½ MrHHH and Q-BE said in unison.

< And so, the ï¿½Ultimateï¿½ Final Solution was unleashed. However, there were too many bombs, and some detonated in Martian population centers. Breast Expansion, as a cultural phenomenon, now destroyed the foundations of that culture. The REHABBERS, safe from the war in their ships, lay dormant until such time as Martian civilization destroyed itself. >

ï¿½But what happened to Umquan-Sellet-Mylor and the others who seized the Martian bodies?ï¿½ Q-BE asked.

< Twelve leaders commanded twelve ships, led by Umquan. Living as parasites inside the minds of the leaders, they lived free from the need to reproduce, as was the intention of the original bodies which had been created in us Martiansï¿½ own image. >

ï¿½The closer to the truth, the closer to the nerve,ï¿½ Prophet smirked.

ï¿½And what about you, BillPratt? Where do you fit in?ï¿½ MrHHH inquired.

< Umquan-Sellet-Mylor freed me from my prison, in exchange for the technology for inter-stellar travel, among other things. >

ï¿½YOU WORKED WITH THIS THING?!?ï¿½ Q-BE screamed.

< I did, until I realized myself that their only goal was to enslave the human race and make their new homeworld on this more hospitable planet. >

< Ah, treachery. Your naivetï¿½ was your downfall, Martian, you and your kind. Once again, it shall mean your doom. Humankind is just icing on the cake, this time around. >

< Umquan! > Intense hatred radiated from the immense voice of BillPratt. The visions, which had previously engulfed the entire environment of Prophetï¿½s machinations, now faded into the ether from which they had been drawn.

ï¿½Oh, crap,ï¿½ Q-BE groaned, scanning the area wildly, to no avail.

The roof of Tenebrae Manor ripped apart from its foundation as though it was paper. In the sky, thousands of pods swarmed in the nighttime air.

ï¿½Where is he?ï¿½ MrHHH yelled through the rapidly-developing windstorm that had claimed Tenebrae Manorï¿½s roof. ï¿½I canï¿½t see him!ï¿½

ï¿½Sheï¿½s right in front of you,ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae called as the windstorm developed an eye of calm surrounding the Manor. A purple psychic bolt leapt from Prophetï¿½s eyes and clutched BillPratt, causing him agonizing pain, and also surprising Q-BE and MrHHH. In response, BillPratt rebounded with a yellow psychic jolt which short-circuited Prophetï¿½s own attack. Caught in his own trap, he writhed and wriggled, himself losing form, until the smoke cleared, revealing the form of a slightly older Martian, whose large breasts left no doubt of her gender, though they were covered by Martian armor similar to what ï¿½BillPrattï¿½ had worn. The alien laid prostrate on the steel floor in the (now open-air) lab.

< This is the leader of the REHABBERS, > BillPratt warned as he picked himself off the floor. < The Race that Ends Having the Ability for Breasts to Be Expanded to Ridiculous Size, found in a female body. >

ï¿½Oh, double crap,ï¿½ Q-BE understated.

ï¿½So, you finally reveal yourself, Umquan.ï¿½

BillPratt spoke only to the female alien standing before him, but also observed the collection of superheroes so obviously unprepared for Umquanï¿½s arrival.

ï¿½Yes, I was once the host of Umquan-Sellet-Mylor,ï¿½ the female alien confirmed. ï¿½But now, I am freed, and I seek to destroy he whom you see as BillPratt, for he is now the courier of that evil slug.ï¿½

ï¿½Do not listen to her! She has tricked you into believing that she knows what I have done.ï¿½ BillPratt admonished. ï¿½I retained the form of Prophet Tenebrae when I realized that Umquan-Sellet-Mylor had finally come to finish the extermination she began so long ago, as well as to begin her enslavement of mankind with the same weapon by which the Martian world was rendered barren. When Umquan discovered my treachery, she attacked me and forced me to abandon this mansion, capturing Tina, Harley, and HIghwayStranger in Tenebraeï¿½s form, herself.ï¿½

ï¿½What do you mean?ï¿½ Q-BE implored BillPratt quizzically. ï¿½What about this weapon which Iï¿½m suddenly not so sure he created?ï¿½ As Q-BE peered at BillPratt, MrHHH had an idea.

ï¿½This weapon is designed to utilize the BE energy from Harley, Tina, and HighwayStrangerï¿½s ring as a weapon. It may be the only thing that can counter the 12 ships which are most assuredly in orbit around the Earth as we speak. I can also confirm that Prophet Tenebrae, before his required absence, designed and fashioned, with my own assistance, this device.ï¿½ BillPratt informed him.

ï¿½OK, but how?ï¿½ Q-BE tapped his foot impatiently. MrHHH smirked.

ï¿½As we have seen, BE energy is fatal to the REHABBERS. As we have also seen, it is equally destabilizing, though not intrinsically deadly, to humankind and Martian scï¿½ï¿½civilization.ï¿½ BillPrattï¿½s facade cracked ever so slightly.

ï¿½Say what?ï¿½ Q-BE gave BillPratt an incredulous look. MrHHH chuckled.

It is a weapon of mass destruction which...can defeat...our filthy foe. BillPrattï¿½s words were spoken with effort and genuine frustration.

ï¿½Weï¿½re seriously going to use this? Is that what Prophet wanted?ï¿½ Q-BE demanded. MrHHH smacked his head in realization as he continued giggling.

Why...are you asking all these questions? BillPratt snarled.

ï¿½Why do you want to know?ï¿½ Q-BE huffed.

ï¿½DONï¿½T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU!!!ï¿½ BillPratt, actually Umquan-Sellet-Mylor, roared as purple lightning bolts flew out of his eyes at the very aptly-named Qwizzical-BE, but MrHHH stepped in front of the speedster, blocking the psychic attack with his chest, which was heaving with laughter.

ï¿½Why are you laughing?ï¿½ the outed parasite raged.

ï¿½Oh, I get it,ï¿½ Q-BE realized. ï¿½Thatï¿½s Prophetï¿½s line.ï¿½

ï¿½QUICKLY!ï¿½ The freed female Martian, whose face had long been used by Umquan-Sellet-Mylor, called to the speedy heroes, who both dashed to the chambers respectively imprisoning their three friends, Tina, Harley, and HighwayStranger. MrHHH ripped apart the chains and devices holding the women in stasis, while Q-BE beat on Highwayï¿½s capsule enclosure with such rapidity that the vibrations shattered and destroyed the machine, releasing HighwayStranger in a flow of goo, swamping Q-BE and his precious golden JLH image.

ï¿½Again with the grossness?ï¿½ Q-BE bemoaned. ï¿½MrHHH, this is coming off your tab!ï¿½

ï¿½Save your complaints for later, Q-BE,ï¿½ MrHHH yelled. He slapped the faces of the women he had freed, rousing them from their comatose slumber.

ï¿½Yo, Stranger man!ï¿½ Q-BE yelled at the unconscious figure of the intergalactic defender. Seeing no reaction, Q-BE reared his arm to begin slapping him as MrHHH had done with Tina and Harley, but before Q-BE could land a strike...

ï¿½Slap me, and Iï¿½ll never let you live it down,ï¿½ HighwayStranger spoke as his eyes opened and he reached to Q-BE for help in standing. BE energy flowed from his ring and cleaned off his trashed uniform, as well as Q-BEï¿½s.

ï¿½Wow, GREAT!ï¿½ Q-BE marveled as he inspected his restored costume. ï¿½Dibs on future dry-cleaning from you!ï¿½ he squealed. ï¿½Youï¿½re up to snuff, so letï¿½s GET ï¿½EM!ï¿½ he called to MrHHH and the newly-refreshed Tina, Harley, and HighwayStranger. All five heroes began bull-rushing the hovering form of their enemy.

ï¿½Ah-ah-ahhhh. Not so fast.ï¿½ Umquan-Sellet-Mylor, in the form of BillPratt, released a bolt of psychic energy which froze the heroes in their tracks. ï¿½I wouldnï¿½t do that if I were you. Donï¿½t make me destroy you.ï¿½

ï¿½But what if we canï¿½t be so easily destroyed?ï¿½ retorted Q-BE, frozen in mid-dash, appearing like a track-and-field statuette.

ï¿½It is but a simple matter, speck, for me to initiate a psychic attack that would trap you helplessly inside a nightmare from which you could never awake.ï¿½

ï¿½I cannot allow you to harm these beings.ï¿½ the female Martian announced as she rose to face Umquan. I would rather dieï¿½ï¿½

ï¿½Done.ï¿½

A beam of purple light scythed through the body of the female Martian, splitting her into two equally-gooey halves. From what was left of her face, a shocked look and gutteral choking belied her stolid expression. The remnants of the Martian spluttered noisily on the floor. MrHHH, Q-BE, and the other heroes stared stunningly at the pile of her remains.

ï¿½Anyone else care to resist me? It would be a shame to waste such obvious talents as you have.ï¿½

ï¿½I will resist, you filthy Martian slug!ï¿½

A familiar voice sounded in the room, emanating from the direction of a long hallway connected to the destroyed room in which the heroes were frozen. Prophet Tenebrae, in the guise of Breast Prophet, stepped stoically into the room, holding an alien device in his hands.

ï¿½Hey, B.P.! Long time, no see!ï¿½ Q-BE chirped. ï¿½Mind freeing us?ï¿½

ï¿½Certainly,ï¿½ Prophet replied, firing a blue-white energy beam at the heroes, freeing them from their psychic stasis, dropping them to the floor yet again.

ï¿½OWWIE!ï¿½

ï¿½Oh, behave,ï¿½ Tenebrae called. ï¿½You donï¿½t know the meaning of the word ï¿½Painï¿½,ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae charged directly at Umquan, beam weapon in hand, seemingly unaware or uncaring of the consequences.

ï¿½Valorious, but futile, speck. I know who you are, Geordon-Boris-Karloff!ï¿½

As if by magic, Prophet Tenebraeï¿½s likeness mutated into the real BillPratt, who unleashed a yellow psychic bolt which met BillPratt/Umquanï¿½s purple scythe in mid-air, clashing with unbelievable force. Umquan, in obvious duress, abandoned the fake form of his enemy, reassuming the busty form of the elder female Martian who he had under his control.

ï¿½But if BillPrattï¿½s not BillPratt, and Prophetï¿½s not Prophet, who the heck is WHO?ï¿½ Q-BE screamed.

ï¿½I AM HE AND YOU ARE HE AND THEY ARE HE AND WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!ï¿½ the real Prophet Tenebrae announced from his Ten-fighter megaphone while rocketing over the cloud of pods which blanketed Tenebrae Manor. ï¿½I always have a plan!ï¿½ He cackled.

ï¿½Less talking, more fighting!ï¿½ MrHHH yelled at Q-BE as red jolts of energy blanketed the area as the pod-cloud opened fire on the two heroes. Faster than the eye could see, MrHHH seized Q-BE and dropped him beneath the cloudï¿½s epicenter. ï¿½RUN, Q-BE, RUN!ï¿½

Q-BE, in trademark fashion, created a tornadic cyclone which sucked a portion of the pod-cloud into its vacuum. MrHHH unleashed his full heat vision into the funnel, which focused and intensified the beams of light streaming from MrHHHï¿½s eyes. The brown cloud turned a bright hue of red as the pods overheated, and the pods detonated with a tremendous explosion, destroying not only the vortex, but also additional pods nearby. A dark rain of Martian technological debris cascaded to the earth, which reformed into land-based slug-bots which resembled huge, metallic caterpillars that covered the landscape surrounding Tenebrae Manor.

ï¿½Out of the frying pan, into the fire!ï¿½ Q-BE yelled as he gripped his brass knuckles tightly, and he ricocheted like a pinball from one bot to another at top speed, destroying each with a high-velocity punch. ï¿½Boy - Iï¿½m - going - to - feel - this - in - the - morning!ï¿½ Q-BE remarked to himself, punctuating each word with a punch.

ï¿½You wanna piece of MrHHH? Well, come and get him!ï¿½

MrHHH taunted the remaining airborne pods, which responded by hurtling themselves at the equally-airborne ï¿½supermanï¿½. MrHHH unleashed every weapon at his disposal as various waves of pods attacked him from all angles. Punches, laser bolts, kicks, and deft flying unleashed a ferocity MrHHH didnï¿½t realize he had. Finally, something in my face upfront and needing an ass-kicking for the miserable week Iï¿½ve had, he realized. He dove down towards the Mansion, noting the increasing ferocity of the fight between BillPratt and Umquan.

ï¿½AGGGGHHHH!!!ï¿½ MrHHH exclaimed as a wrenching purple psychic jolt stabbed through his mind and body. At about the level of what used to be the roof of Tenebrae Manor, a psychic shield had been erected by Umquan, effectively stopping anyone from entering a certain spherical radius, including MrHHH. He saw through the pain that Tina, Harley, and HighwayStranger battled the slug-droids which had fallen into the house from the pod-cloud. Itï¿½s good to know that those three are OK, MrHHH smiled with relief, shaking off several pods that had attached themselves to him, flinging them into other pods, destroying them.

ï¿½Why is it, Tina, whenever boobs are involved, I inevitably have to punch someone?ï¿½

ï¿½Defense mechanism, Harley?ï¿½ Tina shouted in reply as the duo pounded and jolted slug-droids with their respective weapons. ï¿½My motto is: punch first, ask questions later!ï¿½

ï¿½See, now thatï¿½s a motto I can agree with!ï¿½ Harley smiled as she smashed two bots together, shattering them. ï¿½I guess that keeps Q-BE from obligatorily asking ï¿½Whatï¿½s the motto with you? ï¿½ ï¿½

ï¿½HARLEY!ï¿½ Tina groaned.

ï¿½Obligatory,ï¿½ she replied with a smirk.

ï¿½Did I just [ZORCH] genuinely hear a bad joke [CRASH], or was that an homage to our mutual [ZING!] acquaintance Q-BE?ï¿½

HighwayStranger inquired as purple and yellow beams thrashed his own blue-generated shielding and weapon, which currently took on the likeness of medieval full-plate armor and broad sword.

ï¿½Definitely Q-BE!ï¿½ the women shouted in unison as they helped HighwayStranger and BillPratt block a psychic sledgehammer.

ï¿½I was about to say...ï¿½ HighwayStranger derided.

The flashes of blue, purple, and yellow created a spectacular light show for anyone who happened to be observing the battle from afar, like Prophet Tenebrae, who was deftly shooting any pods that came near his Ten-fighter, while struggling to consider the ramifications of dropping his quasi-nuclear payload.

He finally hit a button.

Inaudible to anyone but MrHHH, a high-pitched sound rang out.

ï¿½You called?ï¿½ MrHHH replied.

ï¿½Yeah, itï¿½s Prophet Tenebrae. Iï¿½ve got a payload ready and willing to blast anything within a 5-mile radius to smithereens.ï¿½

ï¿½Not yet. We appear to [SMASH] be turning the upper hand [SIZZLE] in this battle. [CRASH]ï¿½

ï¿½Roger that. You want I shouldï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

KA-CHA-KA-DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!

Suddenly, Prophetï¿½s Ten-fighter lost both engines as purple psychic jolts sliced through their respective chassis. Automatically, Prophetï¿½s ejector seat freed Prophet from the incapacitated wreckage.

ï¿½THE BOMB!ï¿½ MrHHH exclaimed. He threw himself towards the plane as it hurtled towards the earth. With seconds to spare, he ripped the bomb free from the twisted metal and hurled it as hard as he could towards the swiftly-advancing night sky.

KA-THOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!

Just above the pod-cloud, the bomb released its deadly payload of radiation and explosive air compression, annihilating the pod-cloud like so many airborne metal fragments.

MrHHH rocketed over to Prophet Tenebrae, grabbing him in mid-parachute release and flying faster than even he thought he could to escape the blast zone.

ï¿½Nice to see you, Erik. I almost thought you didnï¿½t care,ï¿½ Prophet remarked.

ï¿½Donï¿½t make me destroy you,ï¿½ MrHHH retorted.

ï¿½NOOOOOOOOOOO!ï¿½

The battle was raging towards its end. Now more on defense than offense, Umquanï¿½s shrinking purple shield clashed with a green one forged in unison by BillPratt & HighwayStranger. Having witnessed the destruction of the rest of the slug-bots by Prophetï¿½s munitive explosion, Q-BE was dashing helter-skelter, bashing at any portion of the psychic shield he could find with punch after punch, searching for a weakness. Tina and Harley were floating at the periphery of the shield, attacking with all the ferocity they had left. MrHHH and a parachute-free Prophet Tenebrae arrived after scouring the landscape for robot stragglers. Umquan-Sellet-Mylor dropped to one knee, grunting in desperation with each clash of forces.

ï¿½Please, stop!ï¿½

The plaintive cry gave BillPratt pause, momentarily dropping the green shield which, having relieved its pressure on Umquan, caused the purple shield to recoil and dissipate, knocking the other heroes to the ground.

ï¿½Arrrrgggghhh!!ï¿½ Tina bellowed. ï¿½What the hell?ï¿½

ï¿½Hey! What gives?ï¿½ Q-BE wondered, equally stunned and disgruntled.

MrHHH and Harley stood up knowingly and took the opportunity to dust themselves.

ï¿½Sheï¿½s your mother,ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae said to BillPratt, breaking the silence.

Chapter 8: Endgame

ï¿½Donï¿½t...hurt...me...ï¿½

The defeated form of Umquan-Sellet-Mylor fell to its hands and knees as the slug released its voice to its host, Thala-Komsit-Fala-Karloff, mother or BillPratt, also known as Geordon-Boris-Karloff.

ï¿½Mother,ï¿½ BillPratt sobbed as he looked into the eyes of his enemy and mother, now bearing the tears of the real host, not the slug under whose domination she had suffered the many years since her enslavement.

ï¿½Umquan...allowed has me voice...plead to my on behalf...for my life,ï¿½ Thala garbled as she struggled with speaking for the first time in many years.

ï¿½What are we to do, Mother? We cannot allow him or his race to commit genocide on another planet!ï¿½

ï¿½He...prepared is to accept...haven safe...on orbiting planet satellite...for his kind...in exchange life for my.ï¿½

ï¿½Saving one individual at the possible expense of billions,ï¿½ MrHHH spoke up as he stepped towards the kneeling BillPratt. ï¿½You know the odds of that happening. You donï¿½t have to ask us or read our minds for that answer.ï¿½

ï¿½I understand, MrHHH, but my heart tells me otherwise just the same. Right now, twelve ships orbit this planet, carrying potentially a quarter-million REHABBERS,ï¿½ Bill stated. ï¿½Given the history you were shown, orchestrated in part by Umquan and in part by me, you see the impossibility in establishing a peace with this race, and I refuse to do so, even if it means turning my full mental powers upon you.ï¿½

ï¿½Um, that would be a no-go,ï¿½ Q-BE chimed in. ï¿½Umquan wants us to fight each other. Heï¿½s trying to bargain from a position of weakness. Gotta kill the slug first, then we take care of the ships.ï¿½

ï¿½Thatï¿½s awfully cold of you,ï¿½ Harley interjected in surprise. ï¿½Youï¿½re prepared to kill Billï¿½s mother?ï¿½

ï¿½I approve of this action. In another reality, you would make a half-decent Boobagarian, Q-BE,ï¿½ Tina countered.

ï¿½In another reality...ï¿½ MrHHH echoed, inspired by the conversation with an idea. ï¿½Thereï¿½s only one course of action to take, then.ï¿½ He gripped Thalaï¿½s form by her shoulder and lifted her to a standing position. ï¿½Umquan, you were trying to use the BE force to end breast expansion. Yet, in the process, you would have virtually doomed your race in a war against humanity. Sure, youï¿½d winï¿½ï¿½your telepathic abilities would have afforded you an insurmountable advantageï¿½ï¿½but you have one terrifying weakness, something even I didnï¿½t consider until just now...ï¿½ MrHHH paused while in deep thought.

ï¿½I see it!ï¿½ Q-BE shouted. ï¿½You canï¿½t live on an empty planet, or at least a planet empty of sentient beings. Thatï¿½s why you came hereï¿½ï¿½Mars was destroyed, not by you, but by the destruction of the sentient race that protected it.ï¿½

ï¿½Humans...love freedom...so much...that they would die for it?ï¿½ Umquan spoke with Thalaï¿½s voice for the first time.

ï¿½You donï¿½t have to read our minds to know that,ï¿½ MrHHH acknowledged. ï¿½Here today, you witnessed a microcosm of the war you thought you had left behind. In your quest for revenge on the Martians who failedï¿½ï¿½as a culture based on honestyï¿½ï¿½to be honest with you, you failed to be honest with yourself in understanding that war was no answer, that conquest was an empty dream: what humans call a ï¿½Pyrrhic victoryï¿½.ï¿½ MrHHH turned to the devastation viewable through the ruins of Tenebrae Manor. The landscape stretching far beyond the mansion was littered with metallic and natural debris. Lake Tenebrae was a shadow of its former self, reduced in the heat of battle to a mere mud puddle quivering in the center of the capacious hole it had filled.

ï¿½...and I, I alone, would have devastated my people and another world, for the sake of a generationï¿½s bigotry and hatred.ï¿½ Umquan-Sellet-Mylor acknowledged. ï¿½No. No further. I will not be known forever as the ï¿½destroyer of worldsï¿½. If there is peace to be made, let it be made. As a sign of my commitment, I will exit this body to die. I will allow Thala-Komsit-Fala-Karloff to speak my intentions, for over these many years, she has known me as well as I know myself. I will oppress no more.ï¿½ The host body of Umquan-Sellet-Mylor began to radiate a white glow, a color previously unseen by all present. With a white pyschic blast engulfing him from above, Umquan began to speak for the last time.

< To all who hear me, rejoice. We of the REHABBERS do now end our war with humanity. No longer can we seek to avenge old evils with new ones, nor shall we abide a second worldï¿½s death at our hands. To my generals, I call for immediate withdrawal to the large orb that circles this planet. We must quelch our desire to destroy and instead foster a willingness to create. Today, I die for the sake of both our worlds, living and dead. May my legacy be not one of war, but of peace, and may the universe judge me justly, as it certainly judges justly those who stand here for ï¿½Truth, Justice, and the Female Breastï¿½. >

ï¿½Eloquent,ï¿½ Q-BE noted with pleasure. ï¿½Just one thing, though. Whereï¿½s Tamara?ï¿½

A white flash overtook the area and blinded the group. When everyone could see again, Tenebrae Mansion was restored to its former glory, and several people stepped into the room.

ï¿½Right here!ï¿½ Tamara called. With her, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Queen Bella Valkyrie, and a woman with huge wings similar to Tina all ran towards their respective heroes.

ï¿½What just happened?ï¿½ Q-BE questioned the group.

ï¿½Umquan is gone,ï¿½ Thala-Komsit-Fala-Karloff announced freely for the first time in many years. ï¿½He used what was left of his psychic powers to augment my own, which allowed us to alter time and space to fix what had been destroyed. He wonï¿½t be bothering us anymore. Umquan is dead.ï¿½

ï¿½RandomX!ï¿½ Tina exclaimed as the two Boobagarians reunited for the first time since their crash to Earth. ï¿½I thought you were dead!ï¿½

ï¿½You think too little of me, Tina,ï¿½ RandomX replied. ï¿½I was unceremoniously captured by Umquan when his psychic sweep for BillPratt discovered me instead. Up until now, Iï¿½d been plotting my escapeï¿½ï¿½no offense,ï¿½ RandomX cast an apologetic glance in Umquanï¿½s direction, and the glowing entity nodded his assent. ï¿½The same goes for these fine specimens, particularly that one with the three names and entirely too much of a crush on someone named Q-BE...ï¿½

ï¿½Oh, Jennifer, really?!?ï¿½ Q-BE squealed as they embraced in a bear hug. ï¿½Iï¿½m so sorry that you had to go through this! If I had known anythingï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

ï¿½Shut up and kiss me, you super-fast, super-fine thing,ï¿½ JLH interrupted Q-BE with a finger on his mouth and a full-on makeout kiss.

ï¿½Mother, are you alright?ï¿½ Harley questioned her royal parent.

ï¿½Harley, seeing you fight for what you believe here in this place, I realized that my...enmity towards you was unfounded. Itï¿½s obvious to me that your gifts must be shared with the world, and most importantly, Boobyscyra. When we arrive home, I am reinstating your claim to the throne, and while you wait for my reign to end, I am appointing you our internationalï¿½ï¿½no, our interplanetary liaison to the universe that is outside of Boobyscyra. Iï¿½ll also allow you to continue your quest to improve the breasts and health of our clan.ï¿½ Bella hefted her own bountiful bosom. ï¿½Iï¿½ve been using your improvements for years without your knowledge.ï¿½

ï¿½MOTHER!ï¿½ Harley screeched.

ï¿½Guess that leaves you and me, huh, MrHHH, or should I say Erik?ï¿½ Tamara asked her heroic hunk. MrHHHï¿½s eyes opened wide at the remark. ï¿½You shouldnï¿½t be surprised, Erik. If you were suddenly transported from your day job into an alien facility with 3 other women with obvious connections to your little band of boob-loving brothers here...ï¿½

ï¿½And sisters!ï¿½ Harley, Bella, Tina, and RandomX exclaimed in unison.

ï¿½...youï¿½d understand how I could put 2 + 2 together.ï¿½

ï¿½This...this changes everything,ï¿½ MrHHH sputtered. ï¿½How am I going to protect you?ï¿½

ï¿½Just like you always have, goofy guy,ï¿½ Tamara reassured her most assuredly unassured, super-powered, mild-mannered megaman. ï¿½One rescue at a time.ï¿½ MrHHH and Tamara embraced for the first time as lovers, not just ï¿½rescuerï¿½ and ï¿½rescueeï¿½.

ï¿½And what about you, Prophet Tenebrae? Do you not have someone to love? Did you somehow manage to outsmart a psychic being who knows every thought that you have?ï¿½

ï¿½I love myself too much to let that happen, Umquan. Thatï¿½s why I never go out without a mint tin,ï¿½ Prophet Tenebrae chuckled as he drew out the Altoidsï¿½ container. ï¿½Inside this box, an alarm sounds that sends a signal to Rtpoe over here to execute ï¿½Operation Xï¿½ in the event I am incapacitated or dead. For all intents and purposes, Rtpoe was me for the last few days. It was the only way I could fool a psychic mind: I didnï¿½t have a plan. Q-BE did.ï¿½

ï¿½Q-BE?ï¿½ Everyone uttered in astonishment.

ï¿½What can I say?ï¿½ Q-BE grinned. ï¿½Thinking: itï¿½s one of my lesser-known talents.ï¿½

ï¿½So, the BEA Salon attacks?ï¿½ Tamara asked.

ï¿½Q-BE,ï¿½ Prophet acknowledged.

ï¿½The mess with Harley?ï¿½ Tina inquired.

ï¿½Uh-huh.ï¿½

ï¿½Involving HighwayStranger?ï¿½ MrHHH groaned.

ï¿½Unfortunately, yes. It was one of his greater gambles.ï¿½

ï¿½What about my release?ï¿½ BillPratt wondered.

ï¿½Apparently, the buggerï¿½s a better information gatherer even than me. Guess heï¿½s fast enough for the job. He told me about you, and I set upon finding a way to get you out of entrapment.ï¿½

ï¿½Okay, okay, Iï¿½ve gotta know,ï¿½ HighwayStranger interjected. ï¿½Can Q-BE cause breast expansion with the BE Force?ï¿½

Half a world away, Chrystal, MrHHHï¿½s computer, swore she could hear a orgasmic scream emanating from HighwayStranger. She considered devoting some computational power to the possibility, but ultimately brushed the thought away and continued mapping the universe.

Epilogue

ï¿½So, what will become of the Moon?ï¿½

ï¿½The Moon will now be the home of the REHABBERS,ï¿½ MrHHH responded to a question from a sea of reporters standing outside the site of the new ï¿½Bustiest Leagueï¿½ headquarters. He and the other He caught Tamaraï¿½s busty form jumping and jiggling amongst her many male competitors, some enjoying the experience more than others. ï¿½Tamara Tame, Our Busty World,ï¿½ MrHHH gestured towards his alter egoï¿½s fiancee.

ï¿½How did you come up with the name ï¿½Bustiest Leagueï¿½?ï¿½ she half-jokingly inquired.

ï¿½Well, that was easy!ï¿½ Q-BE stepped to the microphone with an enhanced Jennifer Love Hewitt in tow. ï¿½It was the only name that rhymed with ï¿½Justiceï¿½ and which also made me think of boobies.ï¿½ Q-BE grinned as he hefted JLHï¿½s double-D pair. ï¿½Our motto: ï¿½Fighting for Truth, Justice, and the Female Breastï¿½. As to us seven heroes, me, MrHHH, BillPratt, Breast Prophet, Harley, Tina, and HighwayStranger, weï¿½re a special group called the ï¿½Overflowing Corpsï¿½.ï¿½ Q-BE turned to embrace his ï¿½Loveï¿½ and, thusly engaged, was half-dragged away from the microphone.

ï¿½Where will you go from here?ï¿½ Tamara wondered aloud.

MrHHH grinned as he gestured to the group standing behind him, including BillPratt, Thala, Tina, RandomX, Harley, Breast Prophet/Prophet Tenebrae, HighwayStranger, Q-BE, and other heroes pledged to join the cause: Browncoat, Ferret, Yummm!, Merkitty, PlusOneZing!, and many more.

ï¿½Truthfully, Iï¿½m not sure,ï¿½ MrHHH conceded. ï¿½Wherever we go, though, weï¿½re going to continue to advocate breast expansion as a truly fantastic experience not to be missed. In fact, Prophet Tenebrae just told me that he was planning an ï¿½expansionï¿½ of his BEA Salonsï¿½ repertoire into other forms of transformation, pun intended.ï¿½ He chuckled. ï¿½Lord knows what heï¿½s planning next!ï¿½

ï¿½I always have a plan!ï¿½ Breast Prophet cackled.

ï¿½Donï¿½t make me destroy you!ï¿½ Q-BE yelled downstage.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The Bustiest League: A Super BE Saga
OR
The Formation of The OverFlowing Corps

By QwizzicalBE
ï¿½ 2009
All Rights Reserved

Prologue

Episode Iï¿½ï¿½United We Stand, Divided We Fall

Chapter 1: A Heroï¿½s Limits

Chapter 2: All In A Dayï¿½s Work

Chapter 3: The Plot Grows Bigger

Chapter 4: Whatï¿½s The Point?

Chapter 5: Big Boobs, Bigger Boobs

Chapter 6: Everyone Comes Together

Chapter 7: All Together Now

Chapter 8: Endgame

Epilogue

THE END

The Bustiest League: A Super BE SagaORThe Formation of The OverFlowing Corps

By QwizzicalBEï¿½ 2009All Rights Reserved

Prologue

Episode Iï¿½ï¿½United We Stand, Divided We Fall

Chapter 1: A Heroï¿½s Limits

Chapter 2: All In A Dayï¿½s Work

Chapter 3: The Plot Grows Bigger

Chapter 4: Whatï¿½s The Point?

Chapter 5: Big Boobs, Bigger Boobs

Chapter 6: Everyone Comes Together

Chapter 7: All Together Now

Chapter 8: Endgame

Epilogue

THE END

The Bustiest League: A Super BE Saga
OR
The Formation of The OverFlowing Corps

By QwizzicalBE
ï¿½ 2009
All Rights Reserved