Blue Undercover
Case of the Panty Pilferer
 by Plato Voltaire
Copyright 1997

Ratings Advisory: The Earth Media Content Group has determined that this story can only be read by people above the age of 18. It contains subjects and situations that are suitable only for mature audiences. Parents with underaged children will need to activate their content-advisory programs now.

1

The aircar made its way down a quiet street on the outskirts of New Darwin. Quinnette Guthrie Kendrick was glad the convention was over. As co-author of the successful Blue Undercover novels and the Boobs in Blue comic she was quite sought after for her autograph. Her partner, Roselynn Yates MacKenzie, loved to sign autographs, especially for 'cute' men. Quinn knew that Rose and her husband Charlie were very satisfied with each other, but Rose still had that ability to flirt with the men. Thankfully there were no jerks this time.
    On the whole, Blue fans are mature, well-mannered men and women. However, there is always the tiny minority that take their admiration to extremes. At the first convention six years ago, a particulary rabid fanboy had the rare pleasure of having his kidneys moved to a new location in his body. Toby and Gunther, two of the eunuchs that used to work for a group of sex slavers but were now freed, were there also as bodyguards for Quinn and Rose. After that, the fanboys (and not so few fangirls) kept their drooling faces in private. Now Quinn was able to enjoy herself at conventions.
    As Rose approached her home she recalled her experience at the con. The autographs were mainly for the novels, but there was a fair sample of comics (both Boobs in Blueand Blue Steel) and collector's cards. The art show had a fair collection of Blue fan art and the costume contest was a hit. Most of the female participants looked like they came right off the pages of the comics, and their busts were certainly real. Surprisingly, if somewhat oddball, there were a few men dressed up as Lynnae and June, the main characters in all the incarnations of Blue. A man dressed up as June won second place and practically brought the house down as he did an improvised strip tease and removed his fake chest. At least these people can laugh at themselves, Rose thought.
    The aircar stopped in the driveway. Both women got out and thanked Toby and Gunther for their work and time. The two eunuchs only smiled, nodded in reply and left. These two plus their fellow eunuch Mongo had something of a cult following themselves. Female fans loved to have their pictures taken with them. The eunuchs took it in stride; at least they were immune to arousal. The duo entered Rose's house and proceeded to the living room. Quinn and Rose's rambunctious five-year old sons, Kyle and Erwin, were asleep on the sofa. Christine Blye, the babysitter, was reading a magazine. Mongo, the third eunuch, sat in a chair that faced the bay window, keeping an eye out on the street. Mongo was a bodyguard this night, watching the children and babysitter just in chase a rabid fanboy tried to act out his fantasies.
    Rose was about to speak but noticed a fifth person in the room. It was a middle-aged, modestly dressed woman, and she was wearing a face of concern. I hope this isn't some fan's mother saying that our work corrupted their precious child, Rose told herself. Though some firebreathers out there were saying that Blue was the worst thing since nanite-augmentation, it was really tame compared to what else was playing on the networks. She held that thought and greeted her.
    "Good evening, ma'am. I assume that you're here only because Chris knew you?" The awaited blast of charges never came.
    "I'm Joan Balvereze. Christine here is a friend of my son. I wish I didn't have to impose on the both of you like this, but we both want to talk to you two about him."
    She's certainly sincere; might as well hear what she has to say, Quinn thought. "We'll hear what you have to say, Mrs Balvereze."
    "That's Ms now. My husband died several years ago." She fingered her wedding ring. "Sorry, I didn't have the heart to remove the ring. It's my only reminder that I have of him now."
    "That's quite all right. I can sympathize with that. Please, have a seat." Quinn indicated to the open set of chairs around the dining table in the kitchen area. After they had made themselves comfortable Ms Balvereze spoke.
    "Well, after the death of my husband my son Steve is the only male in a house of six females: myself and five daughters. I and three of my oldest daughters had to work to make ends meet and I'm afraid it was at the price of neglecting my son. Oh, he does well, even brilliantly, in school. But he is unsupervised for the majority of his time at home and elsewhere. He developed a ... er ... peculiar vice."
    Rose chose to take that bait. "So was he stealing candy from the corner convenience store or condoms at the druggist?"
    "Rose!", Quinn said in a scolding voice. "At least hear her through. I'm sorry, but my friend here can be a bit testy at times. Please continue."
    "Thank you." Ms Balvereze collected herself and resumed. "Since he was seven, I had Steve do the laundry every other week. He did the job better and quicker than his sisters. However, when puberty came, he started to act a little peculiar. It was last year that I noticed that panties were beginning to disappear. Oh, at first I assume the girls were swiping them but that wasn't the case." She eyed the duo and quickly forged on. "If that was the case I could've handled it myself, but something new was added. Christine can fill you in on that part."
    The two looked at Christine. She was the babysitter for Kyle and Erwin for the last year. At 15 her form was starting to blossom into womanhood. Quinn was sure that Christine would be a knockout by eighteen and would have to fight off the boys with a stick. The girl banished the butterflies in her stomach and spoke.
    "I've been Steve's friend since the sixth grade. He keeps to himself, but when he's with me he opens up. He's rather decent except for his 'hobby'." Chris blushed a little. "When we became freshmen in high school earlier this year he and I ended up in the same gym class. He behaved well and didn't do any of that crude stuff that boys usually do in gym, like snapping bras and pulling up a girl's shirt. However, after a few weeks the girls started to notice that their lockers were being broken into and their panties stolen. They haven't told anyone outside their group in fear of being made fun of by the older students. At first we thought it was a senior doing this. But last week while Steve went to the bathroom I noticed some cloth in his bookbag. When I looked closer I saw it was one of my panties and one belonging to another girl." Chris stopped for a moment and then continued. "I went to Ms Balvereze and told her the situation. We put two and two together and came up with this: Steve has a panty fetish. Since he broke into school property and stole the panties he could easily be facing expulsion from school for a semester, if not a year."
    Quinn saw a slightly pleading look in Ms Balvereze's eyes. She carefully spoke her reply. "So what does this tell me, if I may be so blunt?"
    The mother swallowed before speaking. "As much as I see the need for Steve to be punished for what he did, such punishment won't stop or even slow his collection of panties. He'll just spend his new-found free time to be more bold and steal even more. He's clever; I haven't even found where he has been keeping his collection of the panties he did steal. I figured that since the both of you were former cops you could..."
    "...put the heat on him, make him sweat, put the big scare in him so bad that he'll turn over a new leaf," Rose cut in harshly. "Sorry, Ms, but were not in that business anymore. What your son needs is a good psychiatrist and a badly needed paddling."
    "Rose!" Quinn reached over and squeezed Rose's left arm hard. She then activated her wetware and communicated to Rose. That's mightily insensitive of you. I have an idea, but first apologize and offer our help to her.
    Rose bit her tongue, knowing she had let her temper and irritability get the best of her. Ms Balvereze and Chris looked crestfallen. That made Rose feel even more guilty. Her mind made up, she spoke up. "I apologize for that outburst, Ms. It was uncalled for and callous. We'll do what we can within the law to 'persuade' your son to stop his collecting."
    This brightened up the mother's face, and Christine was relieved as well. "I cannot begin to thank you two. Here's my work number to contact me." After saying their goodbyes the duo escorted Ms Balvereze and Christine to the door. Mongo made his farewell, bending over and kissing Rose's and Quinn's hand. He certainly knows how to play the gentleman of the old school to the hilt, Quinn thought smugly. A minute later Rose turned to her short friend, obviously expecting an answer.
    "So, Miss Mental Health Worker, what's the plan? Don't you recall we retired from the force over eleven years ago? And don't give me that junk about reporting our knowledge of a crime. She should've gone to the school principal, if not Mental Health Services, at the start."
    Quinn shook her head. "It's not that easy, Rose, and have you forgotten something?" She tapped her forehead with her forefinger. "We still have our 'ware installed, and we're not really 'retired'. Until wetware is known publicly were still under an 'emergency activation' clause. Once a year our wetware is checked out and we go through a field test."
    "So?"
    "So," Quinn chimed in, "our next check-up is next month and the Chief and Dr Kregor are still on the force. If we go to them and explain the situation, have them move the testing up one month and...."
    "...and have this panty pilferer as our field test! God, I should've thought of that. What will that cost me?"
    Quinn eyed the two sleeping tornadoes in the living room. "You'll get off light. Taking those two up to bed is punishment enough."
    "My arms ache already. Of course you'll want to see the Chief tomorrow morning, right?"
    "Give yourself a prize. Good night." With that the two friends and their sons were soon soundly asleep in proper beds.
 

2

Rose looked into the full-length mirror and approved of what she saw. While adjusting her costume her thoughts went over the events of the last five days. The Chief was receptive and approved of Quinn's plan. What Quinn had in mind was basic: with evidence in hand they would treat Steve to the 'good cop, bad cop' routine. Of course there would be a subtle twist in that routine. The wetware would receive its field test and everyone will be fat and happy.
    Rose adjusted her costume's tie and regarded her figure. There was no time for nanites to enlarge the bust, but for this job they weren't needed. Indeed, Dr Kregor had something better. Artificial plastic skin was used before nanites were invented to enhance a woman's bust. Plastiskin flesh was expensive and had an annoying tendency to fall off at odd moments. While this made many a funny gag in sitcoms, in real life it wasn't. The technology was refined but by that time nanites were proven safe for use in the human body. Plastiskin flesh ended up as gag gifts and in the theater where woman performers could enhance and decrease their busts safely and quickly.
    Quinn entered the room. Her costume was complete: her fake bust looked as large as it was eleven years ago when she and Rose were undercover in a sex slaver base. Thanks to prolong both 53 year old women still had bodies that were 28 years younger. They applied some last-minute touch ups to their makeup.
    "Is our little prevert still out?" Rose announced as she applied her lipstick.
    "He's not a pervert, just maladjusted. He'll be home in 90 minutes." Quinn added a dash of hair spray to her hair bun.
    "Maladjusted, prevert ... same difference. Ready to go?" Rose slipped on her 9-centimeter heels.
    "At least say pervert correctly. Let's go." With that the duo left their dressing room and headed for the unmarked police car that the Chief loaned them. In an hour they reached their objective: Steve's bedroom. They didn't have to wait long.
 

3

Seeing his house just down the street Steve picked up his pace. He considered himself lucky for getting away with his latest catch. Only three panties ended up in his book bag when the school security guard made his rounds in the girls' locker room. After what seemed an eternity Steve evaded the guard and sneaked out. At least I relocked the lockers after getting what I wanted. Nobody will know until tomorrow. He slowed his pace as he got onto the walkway leading to the front door. Entering his code and dead key he went into the house and proceeded upstairs. He could hardly wait to wash his new acquisitions and feel their softness against his cheeks. Bounding up the stairs, he didn't notice the light coming out from underneath his bedroom door. He was quite surprised when he opened the door and saw two people in his room...


Finding Steve's panty cache proved harder than expected. Working under the assumption that he would hide it in plain sight the duo worked their way around the room. They were close to admitting defeat until Quinn thought of checking the oversized, thick blades of the ceiling fan. A detailed inspection found that the blades were hollow. In a matter of minutes no less than 45 panties were pulled out of the hollow blades. Could've been drugs in there instead of underwear. Lucky us. Quinn piled the stolen fabrics on the center of the bed. She sat down, blocking anyone's view of the pile from the door. Rose was standing up, back to the door, facing the bed's headboard. Both of them heard the barely audible footsteps of someone coming up the walk. Their wetware amplified the sound and identified it as belonging to a male, wearing walking shoes, weighing between 55 to 60 kilos. The opening door was heard in crystal clarity and so were the footsteps. In a matter of seconds Steve would be at the door. Both women went into character. The door opened and the young man entered.


...and to his shock he saw the shine of police badges on their chests. Steve felt his blood pressure rise. It rose even more as he look at the two... women. Police women. Police women with quite large breasts. He noted that they wore at least 7 cm black heels, light blue stockings that reached up to mid-thigh level, and embarrassingly short dark blue micro skirts. They also had long sleeved white shirts with the arms rolled up to the shoulders, a police web belt around their slim, narrow waists, a long black tie that disappeared between their breasts, and a dark blue police cap on each head.
    The one on the bed had her arms and legs crossed. Her limbs were long and shapely. She wore a pair of wire-rimmed fashion glasses that made her face look cute. The standing officer was also striking. Her calves were well-defined and toned. The micro skirt barely covered her shapely, heart-shaped bottom. She had her arms akimbo and he saw that her breasts were wider than her torso, each boob extending easily a dozen centimeters beyond each side. She turned her head. She was quite a looker herself. Her brown eyes looked inviting.
    Steve mentally shook himself. No way that any decent woman cop will wear a uniform like THAT. Those badges do look genuine. I wonder where.... Then it popped into his brain and out of his mouth before he could change anything.
    "You guys look like you came out of a Boobs in Blue comic." After that Steve felt like shoving his fist into his mouth. That was stupid. What if they're real cops?
    "We're cops all right, buddy boy, but don't refer to us by our busts, you prevert." It was the standing one that spoke. She turned to face him, her bust stressing the buttons on her shirt.
    The one on the bed began to speak. "I'm officer Halley, and this is officer Kronin," she pointed to the other officer, "and we have a search warrant for your house. Here, look at it." Halley reached into the front left pocket of her shirt. Steve felt a stab of lust as she moved her hand into that pocket, a pocket in front of those large, shapely breasts. He blinked quickly and caught the folded piece of paper that Halley threw at him. Opening it, he decided it was official.
    "To save you some time we found what we were looking for." Halley stood up and moved to one side, revealing the pile of panties on the bed. Steve's blood pressure went up even more and he started to sweat.
    Kronin took a step forward. "Generally you're looking at theft of private property, breaking into private property, and numerous violations of your school's code of conduct. Your preversion for panties has landed you into trouble big time, mister." She raised and shook a finger at Steve, who was now looking a little pale. "You're one sick little puppy."
    "Come on, Kronin. Everyone has their weaknesses. Mr Panty here just happens to like girls' underwear. I'm sure that he'll grow out of this phase."
    Kronin turned her head to face Halley, a sneer forming on her lips. "He'll grow out of this preversion all right. In prison!" She turned back to face Steve. "You're looking at at least four months, if not six, in the big house, kid. Instead of collecting girls underwear you'll become some big man's girlfriend. They like to eat up cute, innocent puppies like you."
    Steve was trembling now. He never figured on getting caught, let alone going to prison. Quinn/Halley decided to increase her 'good cop' role by a notch.
    "Oh please Kronin! This is his first offense. I'm sure that he'll get a year or two of probation. Time enough to cure him of his condition." Halley walked over to Steve, her shirt stretched just as tightly across her chest as Kronin's. Steve managed to lower the speed of his heart by sheer effort of will.
    "The problem with sweet little pups like you is that you need to develop a fine appreciation of the female form. Not just bottoms; the whole body."
    Steve was a little perplexed, but not for long. Kronin removed her web belt, and then undid the clasp holding the micro skirt to her waist. "Wha ... what are you doing?? You ca ... can't do that!!"
    Kronin winked at him. "Shut up little man. You're going to get a chance to overcome your preversion to collect panties, right here and now!" With that the officer let her skirt fall to the floor. Steve stared dumb-eyed at the beautifully laced, black colored panty that she was wearing. She placed an open palm on her crotch and turned sideways. She then placed her other open hand on her shapely bum. Steve imagined the silkiness of that abbreviated panty. His mesmerization was broken when Kronin spoke again.
    "A girl's panties are a very private piece of her. When you steal them it's like taking her hostage. When you rub your face with those panties it's like you're forcing yourself on them. In effect, you're RAPING them. Do you want to defile the very thing you worship? Well?!"
    Steve was finding it a bit unreal. He needed time to think, but these two officers weren't going to let that happen. Halley turned Steve around to face her. She had unbuttoned her shirt, exposing her pale, oversized breasts to him. He saw the thin, lacy white bra straining to hold their charges in check. He felt his crotch get hot and bothered. "What do ... do you think your do ... doing, officer??"
    "Young man, I see that at least you're aroused by breasts. That's a good start. Breasts are the most obvious signs of feminity. That's what most men see and look for on a woman. They can give you great pleasure. Here..." She wrapped her arms around Steve's neck and in one quick motion moved his head into her cleavage.
    Steve was shocked at the sudden appearance of tits around his head. But that wasn't all. It felt like her chest was expanding! What little he could see was rapidly darkening out. He started to get a little panicky. Halley released him and stepped back. When Steve regained his senses he saw that Halley's large bust had doubled in size. The bra had popped off and was on the floor. He stared at her breasts stupidly and didn't even notice that Kronin was right behind him. She pulled Steve back into her. The officer's breasts pressed into his backside. He felt another stir of lust forming in his heart. Before he could resist, Halley pulled him from Kronin's hold and gave the puzzled boy a huge hug. Her oversized mammaries virtually crushed the breath out of him. He staggered to the bed and fell backwards onto it, his head landing on his pile of pilfered panties. The officers moved in front of him.
    "You have experienced the wondrous joy that a woman's breasts can give a man. But lest we allow you to change one fetish to another we have one more thing to show you." Halley reached for her web belt and opened a small pouch. She produced a small cylinder, silver in color. She removed a cap on one end and positioned it over her right breast. It was a tiny aerosol can, and its fine mist spread over that breast. A minute later Steve heard a sound similar to that of a jelly jar being opened. His mouth gaped in horror as he saw that breast fall right off, revealing a much smaller, but still shapely, breast underneath.
    It was too much. He upchucked the sandwich he had eaten before coming home. After cleaning up the mess Kronin moved a capsule of wide-awake fumes under his nose. He crashed back into consciousness and Halley spoke again. "We've decided that you deserve a second chance. No charges will be filed, but only if you do the following. One, return all the stolen panties to their original owners and apologize sincerely and fully. Two, you will report to your principal and tell him that it was you who broke into the girls' locker room. Finally, you will throw yourself at the mercy of your mother and girlfriend. Assuming, of course, they'll have anything to do with you after this."
    Steve was visibly shaking. He just wished they'd go away. He would do anything just to have them leave, even do what they said. Halley rebuttoned her shirt, carrying her fake boob like it was a watermelon under her arm. Kronin put her micro skirt back on. After giving a once-over to their uniforms in Steve's dresser mirror they made for the door. Kronin stopped just short of the door and turned to face Steve for one last time.
    "If you think we'll forget about this, you're wrong, prevert. Tell anyone about what happened here tonight and it will be met by denials from us. It will be our word against yours and you will lose. Renege on those conditions we gave you, and we will come down on you like a ton of bricks! Develop any unhealthy preversion of any part of the female body and we'll see that you end up in prison. Just you don't drop any soap in the shower. If you do, don't pick it up or else you'll become some big man's little woman. Ciao." Rose/Kronin marched out of the room, finishing her bit as the bad cop. Quinn/Halley blew a kiss at the unfortunate lad and left. Throughly messed up in his head, Steve fainted dead away. He really wanted to comprehend what had happened here tonight.

At the bottom of the stairs Quinn and Rose met Ms Balvereze. She had just came back from work and was visibly awaiting their verdict.
    Rose broke into a large grin. "The exorcism ... has begun. Expect him to have a lot of questions for you at breakfast."
    "For his sake I hope he does. Thanks to the both of you for trying." Ms Balvereze shook their hands and watched them as they entered their car and left. She was briefed on what they planned to do with Steve. However, hearing a plan and seeing the physical requirements for it were two different things. Seeing Quinn carrying that fake breast like it was a melon made her wonder if Steve would ever see women in a positive light ever again. She certainly hoped so.

Quinn plopped the plastiskin boob on the back seat and slid into the front passenger seat. Rose started the aircar and drove it back to the police station. Quinn went ahead and removed the other fake breast and placed it with its fellow in the back seat.
    "I'm glad to have those things off me. Those tiny air cylinders and micropumps sure make them heavy. My nanite-enlarged boobs from all those years ago were much lighter."
    "Tell me about it. However, for tonight, I think I'll keep these two on. Charlie has never seen me with over-large breasts. Tonight he'll at least get a taste of what it was like for me being a pillow woman."
    Quinn looked at Rose and tried to imagine her and Charlie making out. The resulting image was so funny that Quinn couldn't help but laugh.
    "What's so funny, Quinn?"
    "You'll probably smack me, but you two will resemble a human yin-and-yang symbol: him with his pot belly and you with your fake breasts." She was right, but Rose only lightly punched her in the arm.
    "And I thought I was the one with the dirty mind. Does Derek feel like you're a mountain climber when you two do it?" It was then Rose's turn to be lightly smacked on the arm. The two friends giggled all the way back to the station.
 

[Epilogue]

It was now five weeks since the panty caper. Quinn and Rose were in the study, going over a storyline for their next novel. The husbands were outside in the backyard, trying to teach their sons the finer points of soccer. The two lads seemed more interested in throwing the ball instead of kicking it. Chewing on the end of her pencil, Quinn recalled those five weeks.
    Steve did talk to his mother the next morning. He confessed that he stolen the panties and wanted to reform. He didn't say a word about the two 'officers' that were in his room. Ms Balvereze scolded him, saying that she expected him to grow up and be a proper man. The principal placed him on a two-month probation for breaking into the lockers. The girls who had their underwear stolen generally broke into two groups. One group was relieved that they had their panties back but were mad at him. The other was relieved also, but slapped him. Christine was there, forgiving him and staying by his side. Who knows, maybe with the love of a good woman Steve could stay on the straight and narrow. Only time will tell.
    Rose too was munching on her pencil. She figured that she could work in this panty caper as a side story or subplot in a future Blue episode or comic issue. It's certain to become a prized collector's issue in a few years. Finding the pencil a poor substitute for food, Rose and Quinn stopped and had a donut for a snack. After that their pencils were now being used for the purpose they were meant for: writing.
 
 
END 2