{Disclaimer- Dis story is hereby claimed, through dis claimer. Now all you claim jumpers go away! Especially if under 18 or if you work in a mine. I don't want miners reading dis story. Certainly not coal miners, you'll get dust on it! Well, ok, if you are a gold miner it's ok to read the story as long as you get gold dust on it and mail it to me. But all you other miners or minors stay away!}
It was a dark and stormy night. The windshield wipers on Bill Madison's car couldn't keep up with the downpour.
"Oh, just great, I am in a hackneyed, cliche ridden story," Bill complained.
(Hey, characters don't get to complain!- Author)
"Yeah right, can't you be original?", Bill continued to mutter.
Bill's car suddenly hit an unseen bump and plunged off the road into a ditch. The car and Bill were both undamaged. The rain pinged and made dull thud sounds as it bounced of the car. Bill opened the door and surveyed the situation. The mud almost came in the door as Bill opened it. He stood in the driving rain, knee deep in the stuff, and looked at his car. It was hopelessly mired in the mud. He would need a tow truck to get back on the road. Peering through the rain, Bill saw the out lines of an old Mansion a few hundred yards down the otherwise vacant road.
"Oh, now this is original!" complained Bill.
(Quit complaining!- Author)
"Gee, there's a darkened spooky house over there. Let me guess, I need to go in it and ask to use the phone? You know; why the hell would I go into a dark and spooky-looking house to look for a phone? Yeah, there's always a working phone in houses that look abandoned." continued to mutter the now annoying Bill.
(Look asshole, go to the Gawd Damn house!- Author)
"Why the hell should I go to this fucking house? This is a bullshit setup to nail me in some way!", yelled Bill, to NO ONE.
(Fearing for Bill's sanity, and hoping not to write about Bill drowning in quicksand, and hoping Bill isn't eaten by the big alligator to the left; maybe Bill should go to the house?- Author)
"Gimmie alligators and quick sand, guess I better go to the cliche ridden house. I bet it's on a hill" muttered the very annoying Bill.
Outside the house Bill sees a faint light coming out of a window in the attic. He tries the doorbell but it's inoperative. He tries knocking, but his knock goes unanswered. He tries the door and finds it unlocked. Bill slowly enters the house.
"Hello, any cliche ridden monsters in here" said Bill in a loud voice.
(I didn't write that! Now, you'll be sorry!- Author)
"What, kill me; turn me into a vampire? No, I got it, this is a Bad Irving story, so I wind up some big busted babe right? Well, maybe I'd rather get it all over with right now, instead of continuing this annoying and boring tripe! Huh, how about that? Shmuck!", said Bill in the most annoying voice that has been heard on this planet.
(Piss off! I am not going to write anymore- Author)
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"Ok, busty babe is better than limbo", said Bill in abject surrender to the inevitable, after realizing he was dealing with the supreme being, the all powerful, the..."Don't push it" added Bill.
Bill slowly made his way up the creaking stairs to where the light and now voices were coming from. At the top of the stairs he spied what appeared to be three witches working over a boiling cauldron.
"This is a wood frame house, how do you keep the floor from catching on fire?" asked Bill.
"Hey, you're two pages ahead of schedule! There was supposed to be a bunch of talk all about the spooky house, and then you eventually find your way up here. After that you were supposed to talk to us about your car stuck in the ditch!", said the first witch.
"Don't yell at me! The author is getting lazy," smirked Bill.
(Listen up people. Could be we don't have any witches nor Bill in the rest of this story. Could be the cauldron has a terrible "accident" and ya'll will become a bunch of newts. - Author)
"He's testy today", said the first witch to NO ONE, as the cauldron started to boil over.
"Asshole." muttered Bill, as the cauldron now shot its contents skyward, seeking perverse results on whoever they land upon.
"So, what brings you here? And I am not with her!" quickly said the somewhat cute second witch.
"Yes, we must know what brings you to us on this unique and highly original stormy night," blurted out the comely third witch before the cauldron's contents came down.
The contents of the cauldron were now falling back to the floor and were headed only toward the first witch and Bill.
Bill sighed, "Car accident. I need a tow."
"Ha, foolish mortal! We are witches and you have invaded our sanctuary," said the buxom first witch as the contents of the cauldron fell on her and Bill. It was merely water from a bad potion, nothing happened to them other than soaking them to the bone.
"Buxom?" said the first witch to NO ONE, as she felt her chest swelling out rapidly.
The NOW very buxom first witch then noticed not only how huge her bosom was, but that she looked like she was competing in a wet T shirt contest. Her black robes were pressing tightly and translucently against her body. Her enormous breasts were very visible in the light cast by the fire. They hung down to the bottom of her rib cage.
"Whoohoo!", said Bill, adding, "Now we got a story!"
"You like large breasts?" inquired the second witch.
"On women! On women I like large breasts." replied Bill.
The first witch was now stripping off her wet clothes. Her large breasts wobbled and shimmied. Though she did not have the nicest face in the world and the rest of her body wasn't that great, her breasts were amazing. Bill could not restrain his stares at her magnificent breasts.
"Oh, you like these? You want to hold them?" , said the first witch.
"On you! With them a part of you, and not me. Yes, I want to hold them," said Bill.
"Then come here. Come closer, play with my breasts," said the first witch in a seductive tone of voice.
Bill said nothing as he rapidly approached the first witch. He took her large breasts in both his hands. Their large size overwhelmed his hands. He fell to his knees. He squeezed them from the base and rubbed them all over his face.
"Hmm" smiled the first witch.
"These is wonderful!" said Bill between sucking and licking. He pushed both breasts together and took both nipples into his mouth at once. They were larger firm nipples. His tongue danced across both of them. He noticed how cold the witch's tits were as he sucked them. Why they were as cold as a..."Excuse me! Can't I get any breaks from cliches?" asked Bill before he went back to playing with the witch's huge magnificent breasts.
The second and third witch began chanting. The first witch looked at them and smiled. Soon she was chanting too. Bill continued to enjoy the large breasts. The chanting stopped and all three witches cackled a laugh.
Bill was focused on the huge breasts before him. The witches' cackling was only a faint sound. The breasts before him loomed large, they were all over his face. He wanted more. He sucked hard and felt the nipples go deep in his mouth. Then he pulled the luscious nipples from his mouth. Holding each breast, he smiled as they jiggled from his squeezing and shaking. Bill shifted his face so her nipples now rested on his eye sockets. He reached his arms around her and pulled her close to him. He felt the breasts fill his eye sockets and cover his face. This was a wonderful feeling. His fingers interlaced behind her back as he held her close. He wanted those breasts. He liked feeling their weight against him as he supported them on his face. He wanted to possess those breasts. He then wrapped his legs around her shoulders and pulled her close. He wrapped his legs around her shoulders? Something was wrong. Bill tried to let go of her but he couldn't. He was holding her breasts up and they were covering his eyes. He couldn't see and his arms and legs wouldn't move!
"Hey! What's this?" screamed Bill.
The first witch, twisted and turned in front of the other two witches.
"How do you like it?", she said.
"It fits you perfect" said the third witch.
"And it will expand and contract to fit anybody perfectly!", the first witch said proudly.
"What is going on?", cried the blinded and paralyzed Bill.
The first witch reached and pulled the straps down off her shoulders and then pulled the cups down off her breasts. As the cups came off her breasts, Bill could see again. Then she turned the bra around her body and unhooked it. She took the bra off and hung it over the side of a dresser that faced a mirror. Bill could see into the mirror, but all that reflected back was a shiny black silk bra lying across a dresser. Bill couldn't move.
"You witches! What have you done to me?" cried Bill.
"Why, you are Bill the Magical Talking Bra," giggled the second witch.
"But, I didn't say anything that would get me treated like this!" whined Bill.
"Hello, we're witches, not genies. You think you were making wishes? Boy, you need to pay attention!" said the third witch.
(Ain't payback a bitch - or sometimes a bra? hahaha - Author)
"Fuck me." cried a distraught Bill.
(Not likely, you're a magical bra! They don't have sex.- Author)
"Ya know, it would be ok, in fact, at this point I'd rather be a big busted bimbo! PLEASE!" sniveled Bill.
"What back to wishing? You just don't have this witch thing down do you?" said the first witch.
"How long have you wanted to be a girl?" asked the second witch.
"Why aren't you traumatized and screaming due to this sudden and surprising turn of events?" giggled the third witch.
"I... that stupid auth... this cliche... that.. er.. I'll quit while I'm a bra," sobbed Bill.
(Thus ends the true story of how Bill the Magical Talking Bra was made.- Author)