****** Pet Lovers Forum Stories ******
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Akita's Stories


Loving My Dogs

What follows is my, (Akita's), "coming out" to my best friends of over 11
years, on October 20, 1995. I'm a bi-zoosexual male and have been for 24 years.
I've shared my life with my dogs and the last five years with my mare. I do not
force myself onto my lovers. THEY let me know when they're ready.

                                     *****


I started considering coming out to them around the first week in October, but
readily dismissed the thought. I was continually plagued by needing to come out
to them; but and again, I abandoned the idea. Things finally became clear to me
in the third week; I just HAD to tell them! I knew that I wanted to be open,
honest, and true to a great friendship of many years. All I needed now was the
time and place.

Early on Friday evening, Dragon and Shyfox (YES they have handles!) came over
to the house and told me to "Jump in, we're going out to dinner", which I did.
While on the way, Shyfox told me of a new girl in the office and that this girl
was looking for somebody just like me. (Oh, gee thanks!) They go on and on
about this girl all evening; all the while, I'm thinking "tonight's the night
that I'll come out to my best friends."

On the way home, I began putting together just how to do this. Would it damage
a super friendship or, maybe better yet, build a stronger one. When I got out
of the car, I told Dragon "I need to talk to Shyfox, I'll bring her home in
about an hour" I looked at Shyfox "Okay?"

Shyfox said "Sure, Okay."

I didn't really wait for anything else, I just expected her to follow me; I
waited at the stairs. I don't know what exchange, if any, there was between
Dragon and Shyfox. I was determined and thought to myself "The time has come
after all of these many years, I was to reveal the true me that I had hidden
from the whole world." I told Shyfox that I had something to discuss with her
and that it was really going to upset her. I pulled a chair away from the table
and turned off the stereo (it's on most of the time). When I sat down, I told
her again, "What I'm going to tell you is REALLY going to upset you!" I didn't
know what she was thinking. I really never even looked at her; just past her. I
told her that she was the first to know and that I wanted Dragon to know too
but I wanted to discuss it separately. "I want you to know what my sexual
orientation is...I'm zoosexual in the truest form. I'm not sick, I'm not ill, I
don't need any 'help' and have been since I was 12 years old". I did not think
she had ever heard this term, so I told Shyfox that I was only interested in
having sex with my dogs and horses; that we have a loving, caring relationship
that makes me feel whole. I also told her the definitions of some other terms.

We both took a deep breath and Shyfox said "That's all you were going to tell
me! Gosh, Akita, I couldn't imagine what on Earth you were going to tell me
that would upset me so. I thought you where going tell me that you didn't like
Dragon and I anymore or that you were moving away or... Gosh, I don't know
what! I don't care what you're sexual preference is. Gee, Akita, I'm your
bestest friend!"

I explained that not everyone was as accepting of this and that some people
lost their friends and such when they came out. "But, Akita, what kind of
friend would I be if I didn't accept you for who you are. This is a part of you
and I care about you for WHO YOU ARE. If this is what makes you feel whole/
complete, then I'm really happy for you. I'm still your best friend, Akita.
That hasn't changed...but don't EVER scare me like again." Then she kinda
batted at me. "Gosh, I'm shaking; you scared me soooo BAD!!"

I got up and motioned for her to follow me to the computer room and explained
that since the beginning of September, I have looked in ASB and from there
found the forest talkers. I always knew that ASB was out there but I hadn't
ever gone to it before but I finally did so I could "find myself". I told her
about exchanging email with other zoos and that I had met two very helpful
friends, Hunter and Ren as well as a host of new furry friends.

Shyfox asked, "Why were you so worried about telling this to me?" I explained
again that many other zoos have told and lost longtime friendships and I felt
that I too was taking that chance by telling her. Also, I did not like lying to
her and Dragon about going to the HALLOZOO party. I did not want to continue
with a double life with my best friends. She smiled, hugged me, and said she
was so relieved. I was very nervous and felt weak. I told Shyfox that I was
crying with great joy inside me. That what I had just done was the most
emotionally draining thing I had EVER done. I was filled with a feeling of
happiness that I've never known before - to be accepted for what I truly am.

I took Shyfox home, Dragon was messing around in the other room with his
computer he asked her what was up and Shyfox said nothing was up that Akita and
I just had to talk about some stuff. He thought we were "sneaking around
because his birthday was coming up". Shyfox chuckled and said "Why would we
want to talk about that??" While he was working on his computer, I installed
the terminal software on Shyfox' computer so that she could get into the
Forest. I wanted her to go there and she was willing to meet other zoo's and
friends. I found out later, "Slyfox", as someone called her, really liked
Sleepy's. While she "pounced", "played", and "giggled" in the forest, I went to
come out to Dragon.

I found it to be a lot easier this time. I closed his door and told him "I must
talk to you now". I took a deep breath and asked "What do you think my sexual
orientation is?"

He replied "Bi-sexual, possibly leaning toward gay."

I grinned and chuckled, "No. No, not gay; I'm zoo." Dragon had absolutely no
expression whatsoever on his face. I explained some terms and we talked some
more; legal issues, being cautious, etc. At the end of the conversation, I
grinned and said "Well, I'm not and I won't and I never have been with a man.
You may find this to be funny, but in fact, I find it repulsive." I smile.
Dragon grins. I continued, "I have no bias for gays and bis that's their
preference; I have mine."

Dragon said "You are still family and always will be family. Now I know why you
really did not stay out with that date I got you some time ago."

I smiled and muttered something to the effect "not my type". We both left to
join Shyfox which was having a grand time on Sleepy's and let Dragon have a
turn there.

After this I went home and logged into Sleepy's to tell my new friends the good
news. I was very drained and overjoyed about the whole coming out. I REALLY
have the best of all friends that anyone could have. They have since learned a
lot about the zoo world and now have a better understanding of it's many
rewards and pitfalls when it comes to the subject of coming out. They now know
why I was so worried, and why I hadn't told them earlier. They are now starting
to understand what a zoosexual really is and they respect me for what I am.

A big Akita hug to my very dear friends. Thank you -Akita

                                     *****


P.S. 9 Dec 1995: Since posting this story to ASB, I have learned a lot of the
Zoo world that I live in. First that I'm one of the few that are "Zoo only" (no
human sexual contact) I was really surprised to learn this. Second I kind of
knew that most Zoo's are male, And third I didn't know this, that most of those
males are gay. I now have some of the best friends in the world *now* and they
are ALL from the above named observations. Hugs to all of my *new* Zoo friends,
you know who you are :) -Akita

This story is part of White_Shadow's_Nasty_Stories.
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