Turning Points by Amanda Pierce (Gang rape, Incestuous rape, Prostitution, WS, Degradation)


INTRODUCTION

The following story is an erotic fantasy. Erotic to titillate you 
sexually for temporal, harmless enjoyment and entertainment.; but it is 
also fantasy, illusions created in the mind for our own private 
amusement. The world of fantasy and the real world are, and should be, 
two separate worlds altogether. In fantasy, we can create people, 
places and events which simply do not belong to, and are not 
appropriate for the real world. In the real world, we should all strive 
for the basic human values which reality dictates: love, truth, 
dignity, responsibility, compassion, fairness and respect. These are 
the qualities by which we should strive to live. Enjoy fantasy by all 
means but never confuse it with reality.

A.P.

CHAPTER ONE

The small Toyota wound in and out of traffic as tears clouded the 
vision of its driver. Kerri Akers felt nothing but hopelessness as she 
replayed in her mind the conversation, only minutes ago, with the 
school psychologist.

"Kyle is a young man filled with rage. Unfortunately, Mrs. Akers, most 
of that rage seems to be directed at you."

"I've tried everything I know Dr. Sizemore. He'll hardly say anything 
to me anymore and when he does, it's an insult."

The psychologist sighed. "We've discussed the sources for his 
aggression. The focal point is of course the incident in the park, but 
it goes back much further than that. Your ex-husband's abusing you for 
one."

Tears began glistening at the corners of her eyes.

"But why would he blame me? It was his Father who came home drunk and 
beat me. Most of the time so he could then take me any way he wanted, 
even when I pleaded for him to stop."

" Sexually you mean?"

"Yes. I told him we would make love whenever he wanted, but he seemed 
to get more satisfaction from beating me into submission and raping me. 
He'd call me a...a whore. He was always accusing me of infidelity. I 
never even so much as looked at another man, but he was insanely 
jealous, especially when he was drunk"

"And Kyle was a witness to this?"

"Yes, on several occasions. I begged Alan not to take me there in front 
of our son, but he seemed to enjoy showing Kyle who was boss and what a 
man he was to rape me right there with Kyle watching. He enjoyed 
showing off his male prowess."

Sizemore swiveled in his chair behind the large oak desk.

"Did you resist? Did Kyle see you fighting back?"

"I tried, but look at me Doctor. Alan was a large man, just as Kyle is. 
Kyle is taller than his father, but Alan was heavier. The first few 
times I fought, but it just enraged him and the beatings were more 
severe. I soon learned that if I let him punch me around a bit and rape 
me and get it over with, he would then leave me alone."

The psychologist looked at the woman across the desk. Diminutive was 
one way to describe Kerri Akers. Others might be polite and describe 
her as petite. In truth she was one of the smallest adult women the 
psychologist had ever encountered. She was attractive, he thought, a 
lovely face with large dark brown eyes, brunette hair styled short and 
perky and a trim curvaceous body which, coupled with her small stature, 
belied her thirty-one years and gave her the look of an adolescent. He 
had had to remind himself more than once that he was talking to a fully 
grown, adult woman.

Kerri Akers stood only four feet, seven inches tall weighing a mere 
eighty-seven pounds. Her entire family was small statured and so she 
had accepted her small size from early childhood. Her husband, however, 
had been just the opposite, a brute in size as well as disposition. 
Kyle had obviously inherited his father's body style and seemingly a 
great deal of his disposition as well.

"I understand," he said, "but Kyle seeing you beaten and raped without 
offering resistance may have come to the conclusion that not only did 
you accept it, but that you may have even wanted it that way."

Her mouth flew open.

"Wanted it? My God, he almost killed me on a couple of occasions. I had 
to be hospitalized with a broken wrist and a ruptured spleen!"

"Oh, don't misunderstand Mrs. Akers, I can certainly feel the pain in 
your voice. I simply meant that from what Kyle was able to observe, 
coupled with the fact that you did not discuss it with him could lead 
him to believe..."

Her eyes cast downward in dejection. Her voice faltered.

"I couldn't... I just couldn't face him after he saw what Allen did to 
me, watched Allen beat me senseless, strip me naked and abuse and 
degrade me in every way possible."

"Have you explained to Kyle why you didn't just leave?"

"I did once. I stayed with a friend for a couple of days. But Kyle 
wouldn't come with me. Despite what Allan did to me, Kyle thought he 
hung the moon. I was afraid Allan would eventually begin taking out his 
aggressions toward Kyle, so when Allan called and apologized, I went 
back."

"And what happened then?"

"The minute I walked through the door he grabbed me and gave me the 
worst beating of my life. He screamed that if I ever left him again he 
would find me and kill me. He also chided me in front of Kyle for 
walking out on our family, our son."

"And Kyle believed that?"

"Kyle would have believed anything Allan wanted him to believe. I 
really think it was after that that Kyle began to withdraw from me."

"You need to make him understand that you were a victim, both in your 
own home and in the park that night."

"If you only knew how many times I have tried talking with him, 
explaining my side of it. He just won't listen. He has made up his mind 
that I wanted those things to happen that night in the park. Last week 
he even accused me of planning it!"

"I don't want to frighten you, Mrs. Akers, but Kyle's rage is growing 
worse. Has he threatened you?"

"Not exactly. You know, of course, that he calls me a whore. A couple 
of times he has reminded me that whores always get what's coming to 
them."

"This doesn't sound good at all. I will schedule another session with 
him as soon as possible. I am afraid, however, that unless a way is 
found to dissipate his rage, or at least vent it, you might be in 
danger."

"No," she almost pleaded, "not Kyle. He may think he hates me. God he 
may really hate me, but I can't believe he would actually hurt me."

"Didn't you tell me that you felt the same way about your husband when 
he started drinking?"

"Yes but..."

Tears welled up and she began sobbing.

"Look," he said, rising from the chair and putting an arm around her 
shoulder, "maybe I am erring too far on the side of caution. Kyle is an 
intelligent boy. Any seventeen year old boy must deal with a host of 
problems associated with becoming a man. It can seem to be overwhelming 
for them at times. Has he mentioned the scar?"

"Yes, it's just one more thing for which he blames me."

"Well," soothed the psychologist, "again all I can do is urge you to 
talk with Kyle. Let him hear your side of the story, but listen as 
well. Give him a chance to vent those pent-up emotions. So far I have 
been unable to get him to open up. You are the far better choice for 
that if he will. He needs understanding from someone he loves and is 
loved by."

"I'm not sure he has any love left for me, but he is my son, I love him 
with all my heart and I will do anything to help him."

"I'm sure you will," he said with a reassuring smile, "I can clearly 
see that Kyle has a loving, caring mother."

"Thank you Doctor", she said, briefly smiling sadly in return.

"However," he continued, "Kyle has unfortunately learned many lessons 
from his father; none of them good. He has witnessed and been an 
unwilling participant in a pattern of violence. In his mind he has 
interpreted that violence as an effective way to gain power. Power can 
be a strong narcotic, Mrs. Akers. Team that with the inherent emotional 
instability of adolescence and you have a powder keg with a short 
fuse."

"Doctor," she said, her voice now a bit desperate, "I will help him...I 
must."

"Yes, of course," he counseled as they moved to the door, "but be very 
careful."

CHAPTER TWO

Kerri turned on the wipers as the first drops of rain began splattering 
on the windshield. Her mind was racing back over the conversation with 
the psychologist. He was clearly worried about Kyle. So was she. She 
had seen him spiraling steadily downward, especially for the last four 
years, since that awful night in the park. For the thousandth time the 
images and sounds played themselves out, assaulting her delicate psyche 
with crushing hammer blows of pain, helplessness and guilt. The tears 
began flowing freely as once again she was drawn like the fly to the 
web, not wanting to remember, not wanting to see, to feel, to hear and 
yet powerless to do anything except again experience that most painful 
and anguishing night.

"The movie was a bomb, Mom."

"Yeah, I guess not all those action-adventure shows are all they're 
cracked up to be."

It was late. They had tried to get tickets to the earlier movie but it 
was sold out, so they had opted for some window shopping and the late 
showing. With the time approaching midnight Kerri had suggested they 
cut through the park to save time in getting home. Always poorly lit, 
at this time of night the park was also deserted and a bit frightening. 
She wished her husband had come too; but, Allan had started drinking 
the moment he had gotten home and was in no mood to go with them.

She worried what he would say about them getting home so late. Her 
wrist still ached even though the break had healed some time ago. She 
tried to keep her spirits high for Kyle's sake but the desperation of a 
life of little more than beatings and rapings was beginning to tell on 
her still youthful face.

Suddenly, as they neared an underpass where foot traffic could proceed 
under the road, two huge figures appeared from the shadows. Her first 
reaction was to keep moving, get past them, but they moved directly 
into her and her son's path. Moonlight glittered off two knife blades. 
They turned to run, but three more figures were now standing behind 
them as well.

"One scream and you're both dead."

The voice was low, terrifying and black.

"What...do you want?" stammered Kerri, "If it's money," she said, 
reaching for her purse, "just take it and leave us alone."

"Shut up bitch!" snarled the voice, "We'll take whatever we want, 
understand?"

The figures drew closer, forming a circle around the two.

"So what do we have here, sweethearts out for an evening stroll?" the 
voice sneered.

It had happened before. Kerri's short stature, teamed with the fact 
that even though Kyle was only now beginning his adolescent growth 
spurt, he was still more than a head taller than she, caused many to, 
at first sight, think they might be brother and sister or teenagers on 
a date.

"I'm his mother!" said Kerri as forcefully as possible

The imposing figure stepped even closer, pulled out a lighter and 
flicked the small flame to life. He held it near her examining her 
attractive face. His eyes fell to her breasts. Even though she wore a 
conservative sweater, her breasts were full for her size, creating a 
sensuous profile. She quickly folded her arms.

"Well, well, well. If we don't have a little white bitch and her puppy. 
I think this is going to be fun!"

"No, please..." pleaded Kerri as they were herded toward the underpass. 
As they approached, she noticed that heavy blankets had been hung from 
both entrances forming makeshift doors which would hide light and 
muffle sound. Kyle was shoved on into the underpass and the others 
followed closing the blanket, but as she started to enter, her 
antagonist pulled her aside. His face was not ugly, but brutish, not 
unlike Allan's. Strangely, the question flashed through her mind what 
she had ever seen in her husband, how she had ever found him 
attractive.

Her captor loomed over her. He grabbed her and lifted her bodily off 
the ground, pressing her back against the concrete of the overpass. His 
face was now only inches from hers and his voice low, obviously not 
wanting to be overheard.

"I just had me an idea, bitch."

"My name is Kerri. My son's name is Kyle. Please don't hurt him. I'll 
do anything you want."

"Yes you will," he grinned. "In a few minutes we gonna play a game."

"What kind of game?" she asked falteringly.

"My younger brother Kevin's never had him a white piece of ass. The 
other bros razz him about it. So tonight baby, you gonna be his first 
piece."

Fear was written all over her face.

"No, please," she begged.

"Oh yeah, baby and here's how it gonna play out. You not only gonna put 
out, but you gonna act like you love it. Hell, you probably will love 
it. Anyway we gonna have you pick who you want to fuck first..."

"first?" she interrupted.

"Come on bitch, you ain't that dumb. We all gonna fuck you fore the 
night's over. What we gonna do is let you pick who reams you first. Now 
I want that to be Kevin. He'll be wearing a silver colored jacket, 
ought to be here shortly. When we line 'em up, you pick Kevin and you 
give him the fuck of his life. You understand?"

Kerri was in a near state of shock, but she nodded affirmatively.

"Baby, you better take him around the world and make him, and the bros 
believe it's the best cock you ever had, 'cause if you don't, you and 
the puppy will die for sure. None of that lying back and being raped 
shit. Understand? "

He read the renewed fear in her eyes.

"See baby, you only got two choices. Do you fuck the bros, and you and 
the puppy live or do all the bros fuck you, and you and the puppy die. 
Got it?"

Again, fear left her speechless and all she could do was nod.

"I want to hear you talk to him and the other bros too. Tell 'em how 
good it is. Convince 'em you ain't never had a piece of cock like 
you're gettin' tonight. "

He got even closer to her face, their noses almost touching.

"The moment you ain't convincin' anymore, you both die and I'll do the 
puppy first so you can watch."

"Oh God," she finally gasped, the anguish heavy in her voice, "please 
no. I'll do it. I'll do it. Whatever you say. Just don't hurt him!"

"Make it good baby. The puppy's life depends on it."

They started into the overpass.

"Oh yeah, one more thing. There's some things I want you to say and do, 
so listen up."

He whispered into the frightened woman's ear and grinned as her mouth 
dropped open with shock and revulsion.

Kyle looked up to see his mom and the largest of their captors enter 
just as the blanket parted at the far end and three more young men, all 
black, came striding in. Kerri saw the silver jacket on who must have 
been Kevin. She shot a glance to her captor whose head nodded slightly 
in the affirmative. The boy was younger, but only slightly smaller than 
the others all of whom seemed to tower over both she and Kyle. There 
was a small kerosene light about midway in the tunnel. With the 
blankets now closed, it cast an eerie pall on the scene.

"Just so nobody gets any ideas," said the leader, motioning to one of 
the men who grabbed Kyle and held a knife to his throat.

Startled and with renewed fear for her son, Kerri looked to her captor. 
His eyes held hers for only a moment but the message was undeniably 
clear. Her was deadly serious about his threats and would not hesitate 
to kill them both. She had better do exactly as she had been told.

The group formed roughly a circle, the tension and expectancy running 
high. The leader pushed Kerri into the middle. She turned a complete 
revolution dying a bit as she saw the leer from each man who would soon 
take her. She saw Kyle's eyes, wide with fear and determined she would 
do whatever she must to save him.

"Hey bros," said the leader, "we found us a white piece of pussy that 
can't wait to taste some dark meat. Ain't that right baby?"

Knowing she had no other choice, knowing Kyle's life depended upon her 
acquiescence, still the words caught in her throat.

"I SAID AIN'T THAT RIGHT BABY!"

The power and menace were so strong in his voice, she felt her knees 
tremble. She caught a glimpse of Kyle but knew that from this moment on 
she would not, could not look at him. If they were to survive, she must 
do exactly as the leader had instructed. Perhaps later she would be 
able to make Kyle understand. She struggled to remember the words and 
phrases he had told her to use.

"That's...that's right," she said, striking what she hoped was a 
provocative stance.

"I've never been..." she hesitated only momentarily for she hated the 
word, hated foul language of all kinds, "...fucked by a black cock. 
I've always wanted a...a..."

She looked a last time to the leader's eyes which were cold steel and 
she knew there would be no reprieve, no turning back.

"I've always wanted a black cock in my mouth, in my pussy and in my 
ass. Think any of you are man enough to satisfy me?"

She caught only the merest glimpse of Kyle's mouth dropping open in 
utter horror. How would she ever explain what she was about to do? She 
knew, however, that she must focus on this moment. She must get them 
through this, protect him, no matter what he might think of her 
afterward.

There were taunts of all kinds as she slowly turned and eyed each man 
individually. A glance at the leader told her she could stall no 
longer. She slowly began to pull the sweater over her head. As she 
dropped the sweater beside her she heard Kyle's voice for but a moment.

"MOM, MY GOD!"

But he was quickly silenced as the knife at his throat suddenly pressed 
lightly against his jugular. Any last doubts Kerri might have had were 
now dispelled as she realized with finality that they would kill her 
son without a moment's hesitation.

"I'm looking for a man who'll fuck my brains out," she said as she 
tried to smile amid the hoots and undid her skirt and let it drop, 
"Someone who can satisfy me with a tool that'll fill my mouth and won't 
stop 'til it reaches my stomach."

She kicked off her shoes and began slowly removing her hose. The men 
were smiling and joking, throwing taunts and compliments her way as her 
body was slowly being revealed to them.

"But I want a handsome man, too!" she taunted back, "I want him to be 
good looking and hung like a horse."

There were many shouts of "you found him baby" and "well, look no 
further" as she reached behind to undo her bra. Up to this point she 
knew that what she had shown them was nothing more than if she were 
wearing a two piece bikini, but she was fully aware that things would 
progress quickly once these leering jackals caught sight of an area of 
her body which was considered taboo.

Momentarily she saw Kyle look away, disgusted with his mother and what 
she was doing and in that moment, she hated herself every bit as much 
as did her son.

"Like what you see?" she asked as the bra fell to the ground. The men 
were amazed that a woman as small as she could have breasts as full and 
firm as were Kerri's. Her nipples were large with very dark aureoles. A 
glance to the leader and his affirmative nod and she cupped them in her 
hands for all to see. Her body was burning with embarrassment and shame 
but she desperately kept up the act she hoped would save them. She 
stood before them only in thong panties.

"Now then gentlemen," she tried to say confidently, "I've shown you 
some goodies, now you show me yours."

There was a moment of confusion until the leader stepped forward, Lenny 
she had heard someone call him.

"We all gonna get some of this 'fore the night's over, but I told her 
she could pick who gets the first piece. Now whip 'em out so she can 
make her choice."

The hoots and hollers were quickly followed by the sounds of zippers 
being opened. Kerri was horrified and disgusted as she was surrounded 
by a circle of waiting phalli. Again her eyes shot to the leader who 
had withdrawn outside the circle and was obviously not going to 
participate in the contest. He nodded his head and she began working 
her way around, taking each penis in her hand and looking the owner in 
the eye. She knew she could make no disparaging remarks, even in jest, 
so she found complimentary platitudes to make about each one. They were 
all already hard from her little strip act, but she was further 
repulsed as each penis would jerk to attention as soon as her hand went 
round it. She was also frightened by the size of these shafts. They 
were much larger than even Allan's and she wondered if her body could 
possibly accommodate such length and girth.

"MOTHER, YOU SLUT!" she heard Kyle shout before he was finally tied and 
gagged. Perhaps nothing that would transpire that night would be as 
painful as knowing what her son now felt about her.

She was resigned. She would be raped anyway and her son now hated her. 
She wanted to cry, to collapse and simply die, but despite his 
feelings, she would fight for her son's life, save him if she could. It 
was her body which was now the only instrument of their salvation and 
she determined with all her soul that she would use it to free Kyle.

She made sure that the younger brother, Kevin was the last man she 
approached and fondled. He was younger, good looking actually, and 
seemed very self conscious as she held his throbbing shaft in her hand. 
His was perhaps not as large as some of the others but easily extended 
nine to ten inches.

"Oh my," she said, "as handsome as they come and harder than anything 
I've ever held in my hands."

The boy seemed genuinely embarrassed. She reached up, pulled his face 
down to hers and kissed him long and deep. She knew she had to excite 
him, satisfy him and build his image in the eyes of his friends so her 
tongue found his mouth as his did hers and they French kissed for the 
longest moment as she moved her body against him. He lifted her in a 
tight embrace and she felt his rod find her crotch. She spread her legs 
slightly as with a single slight thrust he was between her legs, she 
was now suspended from the ground seemingly supported as much by his 
black maleness as by his strong arms, only the sheer nylon separating 
them.

She broke the kiss just long enough to utter to Lenny, "Yes, this one. 
He's the one I want. He's the one who will fill me with black cock for 
the first time!"

There were hoots all around and a lot of kidding of the younger brother 
as a heavy blanket was laid on the ground. She slid down from his 
embrace and walked onto the blanket. His friends had already pulled off 
his jacket and shirt by the time he reached her.

God, forgive me. Can I really do this? Is this really happening? Can't 
I just die? But what would happen to Kyle? These thoughts and a 
thousand others ran through her mind as Kerri went to her knees as he 
approached. He seemed almost as unsure, as did she, but she had no 
choice and in reality neither did he. Here, in front of his brother and 
friends he must prove his manhood in the only way they respected. He 
must take her in front of the leering gang.

She unbuckled his pants and slid them off along with his shoes and 
socks. He stood before her in only a tight pair of briefs which could 
not even contain his shaft. As she reached to slide down the briefs his 
penis brushed her cheek. If possible, it stiffened even more. She took 
it in her hand and made one last pleading look to the leader whose look 
let her know what he wanted, what she must do.

She closed her eyes, opened wide, as his shaft was formidable, and took 
his manhood into her mouth to the catcalls and whistles of the other 
gang members. She heard him gasp and began to realize that perhaps she 
was not only the first white woman this boy had ever had, but quite 
possibly, the first woman of any kind.

His hands went to her hair and in his excitement he pulled her to him, 
driving the invading shaft far into her throat. Tears streamed down her 
face as her air was now cut off and she was near gagging. Still her 
hand remained on his shaft keeping the organ from completing a journey 
half way down her throat. He was thrusting now with each thrust 
stronger than the last.

"Could it be our white bitch doesn't want to deep throat?" asked Lenny 
with steel in his voice.

She knew what the older brother wanted. Her hand came away and she 
grabbed the boy's cheeks and pulled just as he thrust, driving him 
completely down her throat. She tasted pubic hair knowing she had all 
of him. Kerri tried to relax her throat muscles as she had heard was 
the only way to deep throat a man, but before she could react in any 
way he had pulled back into her mouth and the low groan he emitted told 
her orgasm was imminent. He shuddered. She felt his member jerk and 
suddenly her mouth was full of semen. She did as she had earlier been 
instructed and drank it down completely even as he continued to 
ejaculate what seemed a never ending flood of the precious/repulsive 
fluid. At last he pulled away, wavering a bit. She thought for a moment 
his legs might buckle under him, but he seemed to catch his breath and 
utter, "You're fantastic!"

The hoots and howls were long and loud and many of his bros were 
slapping him on the back congratulating his accomplishment. Kyle again 
turned away, tears of rage and frustration flowing freely and an 
erection straining in his pants.

"So are you," she answered honestly.

She again looked to the leader who looked from her to the center of the 
blanket and then nodded slightly. This was her cue, the start of what 
she knew must come and yet which she could not bring herself to accept. 
She was to open her body to every man in the gang.

She laid back on the blanket and closed her eyes as every pair of eyes 
watched her work the thong over her hips and down her legs. She 
couldn't bear to let drop the last vestige of privacy and covered her 
nest with the garment in her hand.

"This may be a shorter evening than we thought," said Lenny with an icy 
calm which sent his message loud and clear. Put out or die along with 
your son.

Her mind raced. She saw the young boy Kevin had stepped back to the 
edge of the circle.

"Oh, I...I...It's just that I want Kevin to be the first to see what I 
have to offer," she stammered, trying to recover.

The boy again approached and stood at the feet of the naked woman still 
holding the thong in front of her nest. She was improvising now, unsure 
as to what to do or say, knowing that somehow she must provide what 
Lenny wanted or she and Kyle would surely pay the price.

She dropped the thong to the side and grabbing each ankle raised her 
legs and spread them wide, shame cutting through her like a knife 
blade.

"Take me Kevin! " she asked, almost pleaded, "I want you to be the 
first."

She knew he was hard again already and as he dropped to his knees, she 
closed her eyes trying to steel herself to the sexual pain and abuse 
that would follow. Kerri was surprised, then, when she felt no stab of 
fire invading her vagina. She opened her eyes and saw him simply 
looking at her, his eyes drinking her in. He was aroused, but he was 
also enthralled with this demure beauty which lay before him. A hush 
fell over the other fang members.

"My God you're beautiful!" he breathed.

Kerri Akers blushed. About to be sexually violated, she was touched by 
the quiet sincerity of the boy. No, he was a man all right and not just 
physically. He was striving to reach beyond his baser instincts, to see 
her as something more than a sex toy. He was beginning to see her as a 
person.

"I...I can't do this," he said quietly and began to move away.

Kerri looked once again at Lenny and saw nothing but hatred ready to 
boil. She knew she was not giving the brute of an older brother what he 
wanted; knew that she must.

"Kevin."

He turned back to face her.

"I want you Kevin. I want it to be you. I want to remember a young man 
who didn't rape me, but made love to me. Make love to me Kevin. Fill me 
and I'll give you every part of me, willingly!"

"I don't even know your name," he said quietly.

"My name is Kerri, Kerri Akers."

Their eyes met and held as he lowered himself to her. There was such a 
disparity in their size that the scene was almost that of grown man and 
child. His lips covered hers and she hungrily accepted his tongue. His 
gentle hands found her breasts and nipples that were suddenly hard. 
What was happening, she wondered? The irony of the situation was not 
lost on her. Amid a gang rape she found herself responding. Even this 
highly excited inexperienced boy was showing more real affection than 
she ever received at home. His lips moved first to her neck and then to 
her breasts. Kerri felt her nest becoming hot and wet. His fingers 
found her pubic hair and then her vaginal lips. She pursed her lips and 
there was a sudden intake of air as his finger found her clitoris. 
Despite herself, she began squirming and then thrusting. His lips left 
her breast and his tongue traced a path to her forbidden fruit. She 
felt his tongue running through her pubic hair and suddenly his tongue 
was in her.

"Oh Kevin, my God!" she cried losing herself in the moment, unaware and 
uncaring that she was giving Lenny exactly what he wanted.

She pulled his face up to her and again their kiss was passionate, 
sweet.

"I won't force you," he whispered in her ear.

"I know," she answered, "but neither of us has a choice."

The taunts and jeers began again, many of them aimed at the boy to get 
on with it.

Kerri felt the head of his penis brush her vaginal lips and she 
suddenly realized how much she had wanted sex, no, her entire 
relationship with Allan to be like this. Not the rape, of course, Allan 
had been doing that for years, but rather someone who would take the 
time to look at her, seeing and appreciating her beauty, someone who 
would want more than a punching bag and a submissive 'piece', someone 
who would simply love and respect her.

She spread herself for him and again there was the sharp intake of air 
from her as his shaft slowly parted the lips of her nest and found her 
treasure.

He felt huge inside her as practically any man would considering her 
size, but she thrust her hips, attempting to take even more of him. 
Their eyes met again and she read past the excitement, the sensual 
pleasure. She found a boy/man who could easily realize a life of 
success and true happiness instead of a life of wasted opportunities. 
It occurred to her that this was Allan fourteen years ago. Instead of 
raping and impregnating her in the back seat of his car while in a 
drunken rage, he could have romanced her, won her to him. Instead of 
turning to drink, he could have faced his problems, turned to her for 
encouragement and support all of which she would have given gladly, but 
he had instead sought solace in the bottle and assuaged his ego with 
the beatings and rapings.

Kerri felt her temperature rising and her body responding as the young 
man probed deeper within her. Her breathing was unsteady and rapid. Her 
hands went to his hips and pulled in rhythm with one of his gentle 
thrusts suddenly burying another four inches within her. She grunted as 
her body tried to accommodate what was already far too large and not 
yet halfway in. He stopped as if to withdraw, but again their eyes met 
and this time the words were hers, not Lenny's, "Deeper Kevin, deeper!"

Whether experienced or not, she thought, Kevin knew what a woman 
needed, wanted. Each stoke reached a bit deeper than the one preceding 
and he was making sure his angle of entry was such that her clitoris 
was being stimulated with each thrust.

There was pain but it was a pain mixed with that of intense sensual 
pleasure, a pleasure she had never before experienced with a man. Until 
now, Allan had been the only man with whom she had ever coupled. She 
had never reached, nor even been close to orgasm with her husband. He 
took what he wanted and left her empty, unfulfilled, unloved. 
Masturbation did little to help and in fact simply made her more 
intensely aware of what she was missing.

And here was a boy/man whom she had never laid eyes upon until just 
minutes ago who was reaching her in ways Allan never would, never 
could.

Kevin was driving faster now and Kerri was matching his downward 
thrusts with upward ones of her own. They were both beginning to groan 
with pleasure as another three inches found its way into her.

"Oh Kevin! Kevin!" she cried as she felt the surge building and 
realized she was nearing climax. As wet as her nest was, the young 
man's journey to her womb was made easier as their bodies began driving 
together now, giving and taking, lost in a paroxysm of sensual and 
emotional ecstasy.

She felt him tense and knew he was on the brink. She grabbed his hips, 
pulled him with all her might and felt his last massive thrust bury him 
completely within her.

"God, I'm coming Kerri!" he shouted as she felt his body prepare to 
fill her.

Nearly mindless with desire and pleasure, she shouted out the words 
that Lenny had specifically told her to utter.

"BREED ME KEVIN. BREED YOUR WHITE BITCH!"

Their orgasms were simultaneous and massive. She felt his hot seed fill 
her and marveled as he continued to pump her full of semen. He was 
still ejaculating when her second orgasm shook her, her body convulsing 
as if in the throes of a seizure.

Over against the wall Kyle's pants began to show a dark wet stain as, 
despite himself, he too orgasmed as he watched his mother's body shake 
and shiver with ecstasy.

Folk wisdom states that a woman somehow knows when her union with a man 
will bear fruit. If there is any credence to this, Kerri was, at that 
moment, as sure as of anything in her life that she would have Kevin's 
child. At the moment unconcerned with other consequences, she basked in 
the glow of creating a child from an act of caring and compassion, if 
not love, instead of selfishness and force.

As their breathing began to slow, Kerri's eyes again found Kevin's.

"Kerri...I..." he started to whisper but was cut off as several sets of 
hands yanked him onto his feet and away from her.

"Time for the bitch to put out for the rest of the bros," uttered Lenny 
as Kevin was pushed toward the rear.

"Wait, I..." the younger brother tried to plead as he elbowed his way 
back to the front of the impatient group of men.

"Hey little brother, you got to have her first. She obviously likes 
what you got, but the rest want their chance too," countered Lenny as 
the others began unbuckling their pants while leering at Kerri's 
nakedness.

She shuddered and actually brought up her arms to cover her nest and 
breasts.

As the first man, an unusually ugly and heavy brute pulled down his 
pants in anticipation of claiming her next, Kerri's mind raced to both 
delay the inevitable and to once again experience the young man with 
whom she already shared a bond.

"Wait!" she cried, turning over on all fours and placing her head on 
the blanket, "Kevin hasn't had this yet," indicating her anus which was 
now displayed to the assemblage.

"That's reserved territory," sneered Lenny, motioning to the waiting 
brute to proceed.

"No! Please, Lenny," cried Kevin, trying to find a way out for Kerri, 
"I want her for myself. I want her to be my woman!"

"You want this bitch for your own?" asked the incredulous older 
brother.

"Yes," pleaded Kevin, "I..."

"Well you ain't gonna get her," growled Lenny, nodding his head to two 
of the others who grabbed and held Kevin while the big ugly man pushed 
Kerri onto her back and in one massive thrust buried himself in her.

Her screams seemed only to incite him as he drove his shaft into her 
unprepared body again and again. The shouts of the onlookers grew more 
boisterous as Kerri tried to push her attacker away. Kevin's arms were 
pinned by two of the older men and he too was forced to watch the 
attractive mother brutalized. She tried to fend off her attacker, 
pushing with all he might, but the mismatch in size was simply 
overwhelming and she managed to do little more that anger her attacker 
and the group's sadistic leader.

"Hold her." Lenny ordered

Four of the men each held an arm or leg and she was spread eagled to 
make her even more accessible.

She felt as if her insides were being ripped apart from the attack. 
Gone was any semblance of consideration. She was now, for all practical 
purposes, simply, a hole, a sex doll to be used to bring these savages 
their sexual satisfaction.

After what seemed an eternity, the ugly one orgasmed, but he no sooner 
withdrew than another long shaft was violating her. Some took her mouth 
the first time while others her nest, trading places with the pair 
holding Kevin who continued to scream at his older brother to stop the 
madness while struggling unsuccessfully to free himself. They all took 
her more than once, most opting for mouth, then nest. Kerri struggled 
to swallow, as Lenny had instructed her earlier to do, but there were 
times when the flow was too great and semen oozed from her small mouth. 
The pain in her vagina grew as she began cramping after the third 
Neanderthal dumped his seed in her unwilling body. And still it 
continued for over two hours, her body ravaged again and again, her 
pleas and those of Kevin, to stop, ignored completely while Lenny 
watched the show from the side.

"Go ahead," urged the older brother from time to time, "fuck her again. 
Show the white bitch what black cock feels like!"

Spurred on by their leader, the onslaught would continue anew, some of 
the men taking her a third time.

Finally, only exhaustion brought the orgy to a close. The last man 
withdrew from her, semen running from her vagina, long since filled 
beyond its capacity with hot sticky ejaculate.

Kerri lay totally exhausted, near fainting from the pain, both 
emotional and physical. Tears streamed from her face and she moaned 
weakly as her legs came up into a fetal position which heightened the 
impression of a child cowering before adults.

"I...I...can't take any more," she whimpered, her spirit broken.

"Not only can, you will bitch," said Lenny standing over her unbuckling 
his belt and dropping his pants to reveal a monstrous erection a third 
again as large as any Kerri had already endured.

She gasped in fear.

"No...please...!"

The four holding her stood her up and turned her around so her back was 
to the leader. She could barely stand from the pain and exhaustion.

"Bend over and grab your ankles bitch!" Lenny commanded.

"Lenny, you can't do this!" shouted Kevin as the grips of his captors 
tightened even more.

"But she wants it, Kevin! Don't you little white bitch? You want my hot 
black poker up your ass, don't you?"

When there was no immediate answer he motioned and one of the captors 
kicked Kyle in the ribs, eliciting a grunt and low moan.

"...Yes," she breathed at last, resignedly, almost inaudibly. Lenny 
held all the cards, the power was his, and there was nothing she, Kevin 
or anyone could do.

"What was that bitch? I couldn't hear you."

"I said yes. I want your hot black poker up my ass," she cried.

"See, Kevin? What'd I tell you. She wants it!" sneered the older 
brother. "All right bitch, you know what to do."

She bent over, grasping her ankles to the jeers of the others while 
Lenny positioned himself behind her. She gasped in pain and surprise as 
he first filled her nest, to allow her love juices to provide the only 
lubrication he would need or that she would get.

She tried to look up, to catch sight of Kevin, but before she could 
pick out his face from the surrounding throng, the most intense and 
searing pain of her life erupted throughout her as Lenny's massive and 
powerful tool found its mark and he drove it over half way in on the 
first thrust. She tried to scream but by the time her mouth had opened, 
his second thrust had buried him inside her. Unbelievable, gut 
wrenching pain, then blackness as the young mother fainted away. Lenny 
hardly seemed to notice as he drove his rod into her satisfyingly tight 
anus repeatedly. He held her to him as her limp body hung like a doll, 
her bare feet and hair touching the blanket as the barbaric assault 
continued.

"The bitch ain't nothing but a fuck doll, Kevin, see?" he said, 
swinging around, her head lolling from side to side, her breasts 
swinging and bouncing with each hammer blow of his ebony axe handle.

"God, she sure is tight. I give her that!" he shouted as his pile 
drives continued.

Kevin looked away, unable to stand what was happening to the woman with 
whom he had been intimate.

"Oh yeah, baby, yeah!" cried Lenny as his first ejaculative burst 
filled her rectum. He continued to orgasm for several seconds until he 
was satisfied that he had emptied every drop into her rear.

"Not bad for a white bitch," he said laughing as he dropped the 
unconscious woman, discarding that for which he no longer had use.

She fell in a heap at his feet.

"Seems a shame she missed out on all the fun there at the end," he said 
smiling, not even realizing the pun he had created. "Maybe we ought to 
wake her up."

The circle tightened and each man unzipped and began urinating on the 
prostrate figure, most of them aiming for her lips and mouth. Even the 
two men holding Kevin contributed as a small river of urine splashed 
onto the woman's face. As the flow finally slowed and stopped, the 
younger brother, finally released, rushed to her, kneeling to cradle 
her head in his lap. He grabbed a bottle of spring water and used it to 
wash her face as best he could. Kerri shivered and moaned pitifully as 
she began to regain consciousness.

"Don't get too attached kid," said Lenny, "she and the puppy ain't 
gonna be around much longer."

Kerri's eyes grew wide with fear.

"What do you mean?" asked Kevin.

"Come on kid. You're supposed to be the smart one in the family. She 
and the puppy have seen us. She could pick us out of a lineup."

"I wouldn't do that and neither will Kyle. We won't say a word," she 
pleaded.

"Yeah, you'd say anything to save your puppy. But later, after you get 
home, well that's another story."

"I promise," she cried, tears already streaming down her cheeks.

"Too late bitch. Too bad really. I wouldn't mind reaming that ass of 
yours real often."

Kerri collapsed back into Kevin's arms sobbing uncontrollably while 
Kyle futilely struggled with his bonds anew now he was sure they were 
slated for death.

Kevin's mind raced.

"Wait," he shouted as three of the man were reaching for knives. 
"Lenny, killing them will just bring the police and a lot of heat. I 
saw you going through her wallet a while ago. You can look on her 
driver's license, get their address. If they ever say anything to the 
police you can deal with them then."

A slow smile spread across the older brother's face.

"You know kid, that's not a bad idea," Lenny said, motioning for the 
others to put away the knives as he rummaged through the wallet, 
removing the license.

"A memento to remember you by," he sneered, "but one word to the cops 
and we kill your whole family, understood?"

Her eyes full of fear, she nodded desperately.

As they prepared to leave, Kyle was untied, but when Kerri held out her 
arms to him, he stood back in revulsion.

"I'm going to stay with them a while," said Kevin. "She's hurt. They'll 
need help getting home."

"Oh no you ain't," pronounced Lenny. "We gotta get outta here before 
somebody finds them and the cops arrive. You want 'em left alive, you 
come with us...NOW!"

Kevin looked to Kerri. She couldn't yet straighten out because of the 
cramping in both nest and anus, but she looked into his eyes with a 
sad, tired smile.

"It's okay. We'll be all right."

Reluctantly, he walked to the entrance, holding the curtain, but 
refusing to leave Lenny alone with them.

Lenny made as if to leave, but suddenly spun around, a six inch 
stiletto in hand. He laughed as he grabbed Kyle and held the knife to 
the young boy's throat.

"But...but..." stammered Kerri, "I've done everything you wanted."

"No, not everything," he sneered. "You ain't thanked the bros yet."

She suddenly remembered what he had earlier told her to say just before 
the gang left. His words had been explicit. She dared not say anything 
except the exact phrases he had instructed her to say. The others all 
turned in anticipation.

Painfully she stood before them, naked and alone. She was glad that her 
back was to Kevin for she didn't know if she could face him after what 
she had to say. It was obvious how Kyle already felt, but even so, the 
words would burn through her with abasement, destroying any vestige of 
self respect which might remain.

"We're waiting," growled Lenny, the knife held closer to Kyle's throat. 
"Say it out loud so all the bros can hear!"

"I'm...I"m a white whore," she began, her voice low, defeated."

"No, Lenny," cried Kevin. "Hasn't she been through enough?"

"Louder bitch!" roared Lenny, ignoring his younger brother's plea, "so 
we can all hear!"

Her eyes cast downward. She started again.

"No, bitch, look us in the eyes when you say it!"

Tears glistened as painfully she faced them.

"I'm a white whore," she began, " out to get black cock any way I can."

Lenny and the others were enjoying her emotional agony almost as much 
as they had enjoyed her body. Kerri continued her memorized statement.

"I love black cock in my throat. I love to taste and swallow black cum. 
I love black dicks stretching my pussy and I want nothing more than to 
be bred by a black stallion."

She looked Lenny directly in the eye, trying to muster hatred, but 
resignation was all that was left.

"I especially love it when a black cock reams my little white ass."

He was smiling broadly now

"Now that I've had black, I'll never be content with a white cock 
again."

He waited for her final statement which she was agonizingly slow in 
delivering.

"I...I wish I could be fucked by eight black cocks every night. I loved 
it when all of you fucked my brains out."

She hesitated.

"And?" said Lenny menacing.

"And... I'd love to be your white whore and give you head, pussy and 
ass every night."

She collapsed, crying.

"Just one more thing," said Lenny, "a memento to remember us by."

Before anyone could move, the knife blade had traveled down Kyle's face 
from his left ear across the cheek and through his upper lip laying 
that side of his face open. Blood poured, Kerri screamed and tried to 
go him, but the boy drew away.

He was crying, his hand futilely trying to stem the flow.

Kevin was again grabbed and hustled out, his protestations growing 
fainter as he was forcibly taken to a nearby car which started and 
pulled up to the entrance.

Lenny looked back at his two captives and smiled.

She looked to him with anger, grief and disbelief.

"You said you wouldn't hurt him," she cried.

"No, I said I wouldn't kill him. He'll live, but that's just a little 
reminder of what's in store if you or the puppy ever say anything to 
anyone"

Then quickly he was gone. She heard the car pull away and fade in the 
distance as she turned to her son.

" Kyle, let me help you. We've got to stop the bleeding" she pleaded 
moving toward him.

"You've done enough whore. Get away from me," he shouted running past 
the curtain and out into the night.

"Kyle, KYLE!" she shouted attempting to run after him. She asked too 
much of her abused body, however, for, as she took her first running 
stride, the stabbing pain in both vagina and anus caused her to 
partially double over, losing her balance. She remembered only the pain 
and the concrete wall rushing toward her, then blackness.

CHAPTER THREE

It was raining harder now and Kerri's reverie was momentarily broken as 
a semi passed her spraying muddy water from its tires, obscuring her 
vision until the next cycle of the wipers cleared the windshield, 
allowing her to focus on the road and traffic ahead.

This nightmarish daydream had played itself out in her mind hundreds of 
times by now and, like now, she was still racked with guilt, not so 
much because of her actions that night which were bad enough even 
though forced, but, rather, because of what it had done to Kyle, to his 
feelings toward her. Yet to this day she remained unsure exactly what 
she could have done differently that would not have posed an even 
greater threat to Kyle's life.

The wipers continued their sing-song cadence and before she realized 
it,

Kerri was again revisiting that night four years ago.

She had awakened and staggered from the underpass just as the first 
streaks of daylight were appearing. Realizing she had been unconscious 
for more than four hours, she dressed, made a quick survey of the area 
and, not finding her son, hurried home as quickly as she could despite 
the severe cramping that would at times double her over with pain. Her 
total focus was upon Kyle, his injury and that he must have gone home, 
his only safe haven; home to the drunken father he adored.

As she finally mounted the front steps and opened the door, her first 
inclination was to turn and run. She was terror stricken to see their 
eyes. Never, in all the beatings she had endured had she seen such 
abject hatred on the face of her husband. Perhaps even more disturbing 
was that an identical look covered her son's face as well. Kyle had 
obviously told his father everything, no doubt emphasizing her actions 
of the night before while omitting any mention of her motives. Both had 
obviously been waiting for her. Kyle's face was bandaged; Allan had at 
least put down the bottle long enough to take his son to the emergency 
room. She would later learn it had taken almost one hundred stitches to 
close the wound that three plastic surgeries later was still quite 
evident, a scar Kyle would carry to the grave.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the cock sucking, nigger loving, whore! 
What'd you do, go back for more?" sneered Allan as he rose from the 
chair.

"Allan, let me explain. Kyle, honey, are you all..."

Kerri went reeling from the blow. Allan had caught her with the back of 
his hand, sending her crashing back against the door, slamming it shut. 
He grabbed her by the hair with one hand while raining a series of 
slaps across her face.

"Allan, please, let me expla..."

The next blow was a fist to her stomach, driving the air from her lungs 
and doubling her over.

"Oh, Kyle explained everything!" he shouted as he lifted the gasping 
woman by her hair painfully grabbing her breast. She had, of course, 
known how abusive her husband could be from the very start of their 
relationship, but she had never known he was particularly racist until 
this moment when all his pent up anger and resentment for his own 
failings came spewing forth in a torrent of rage directed toward blacks 
and her.

"So you love black cocks in your mouth, eh?" he snarled, hitting her 
with his free hand splitting her upper lip. "Just can't wait to get 
black cock in your pussy!" he stood back and kicked her between her 
legs. As she crumpled to the floor, he pulled her by her hair into the 
living room where he unceremoniously dumped her near the sofa where 
Kyle was sitting. Hands clutching her nest, almost blinded by the pain, 
Kerri looked up to her son and pleaded through swelling lips.

"...Help...me!

She wasn't asking her son to physically resist the older Akers. She 
only hoped he would implore his father that she had been hurt enough.

The look she received in return chilled her, as Kyle's face hardened 
and his words were icy, cold, steel weapons which hurt more deeply than 
any blows her husband could rain upon her.

"You deserve everything you're going to get...WHORE!" he said as Allan 
again dragged her by her hair. She had, at first, tried to fend off his 
blow, but the abuses of the night before, teamed with the telling blows 
her husband had delivered, left her exhausted, pain racked and near 
senseless and her arms simply dangled listlessly at her sides as he 
threw her over the back of the sofa, her head almost reaching the 
cushions while her legs dangled over the back leaving her folded at the 
waist with her rear atop the sofa back.

"So you like black dick in the ass, eh?"

Never, in all the years of abuse, had he spit out this kind of hatred.

"Please...I...had to," she whimpered, nearly unconscious.

"Not what I hear! I hear you told them you loved having his black cock 
in your ass! Did you? DID YOU?"

"Yes," she said weakly, "but..."

She had no way to see, and, therefore, to know, that Allan had brought 
a cola bottle from the kitchen. He savagely pushed it into her rear, 
completely ignoring her screams, pushing harder and harder, burying it 
deeper and deeper until he felt her fall limply into unconsciousness. 
Only then did he walk away leaving the bottle protruding obscenely from 
his wife's anus.

Never again had there been even the semblance of family life. When she 
had tried repeatedly to talk with Allan, explain her side, he would 
either silently walk away or insult her with a racist denigration; that 
is when he was sober. When drunk the beatings continued, but he never 
again had sex with her. She cooked, she cleaned, she washed his 
clothes, but for all practical purposes, she no longer existed. He 
wanted no more to do with her except as a punching bag upon whom he 
could take out his drunken frustrations. Kyle seemed to model himself 
after his father. He too refused to allow her to explain and avoided 
her whenever possible. She noticed Kyle trying to draw closer to his 
father, but despite the fact that they shared an intense hatred for 
her, Allan remained as self absorbed as always, spending no more time 
with Kyle than before, which was practically none. She had never told 
Kyle that Allan had wanted her to have an abortion when they found out 
she was pregnant. Being a good Catholic, she had refused and Allan had 
begrudgingly agreed to 'do the right thing'. Thus began a marriage 
consummated for all the wrong reasons. She would learn how wrong as 
Allan had drifted from job to job, barely paying the rent, always 
blaming others for his own shortcomings. The beatings had probably been 
both an outlet for his personal feelings of inadequacy teamed with 
resentment for feeling he was forced into the marriage.

For whatever the reasons, Kerri's life with Allan had been a living 
hell, the only redemption being the birth of their son. Yet, it was the 
drunken father he was drawn to, seemingly only tolerant of her. Perhaps 
he had learned the lesson from his father early, that women were but a 
means to gratify your own ego and an easy outlet for your repressed 
anger. They were possessions to be used how and when the man saw fit, 
then kept at arms length until they again had a use. Any show of 
affection toward them could be construed as weakness.

The boy had learned his lessons well. From childhood, while never 
actually hostile toward her, he regarded her with a cool detachment and 
was never the loving child she so hoped for. Her efforts to get closer 
to him failed repeatedly and, at times, seemed to actually generate 
resentment. She had never given up, trying new approaches, finding new 
ways to share her life with him and to become more a part of his. Their 
going to the movie that fateful night had been yet another means by 
which she hoped they could bond.

And now he despised her. While he hadn't actually struck her, his 
verbal abuse was practically as vehement as his father's and one of the 
few things they seemed to enjoy sharing was the hurling of insults 
toward Kerri. Words like "cunt", "bitch", "whore", and "cocksucker" 
were hurled at her daily. At first she had tried to persist in 
explaining but it soon became evident they had no intention of 
listening and no intent of slackening their denigration of her, so now 
she would silently stand and wait until the slurs were over. Yet even 
now, having heard them again and again, they cut through her, piercing 
her heart, bleeding away any vestige of self respect.

Slowly, her physical, if not emotional, wounds healed. When she had 
missed her first period, she was still recovering from the rapes and 
Allan's retaliation. Her periods had always been rather irregular 
anyway and so she attached little significance to it. But when she 
missed her second period she began agonizing with 'what ifs".

She bought a home pregnancy test and administered the test in the 
bathroom while Allan was at work and Kyle at school. Her heart skipped 
a beat when the indicator turned positive. What could she do. Her 
religious convictions would preclude abortion. Adoption was a 
possibility, but could she give up a child she had nurtured in her own 
womb, even if the father was black? Objectivity aside, she knew it was 
Kevin's'. What would Allan say? Do? What about Kyle? Her mind was a 
blur of thoughts when she heard the telephone.

She dropped the indicator into the wastebasket, she would hide it in 
the garbage out back later, and hurried to the phone.

"Hello."

She gasped as she heard the voice.

"Mrs. Akers? This is Kevin, Kevin Rollins. Please don't hang up. I know 
you have every reason to hate me, to never want to hear from me again, 
to call the police and have me arrested."

"What do you want, Kevin?" she asked, torn as to whether she should be 
afraid or glad to hear his voice.

"I would like to talk with you."

"Kevin, I don't think that would be a good idea."

"I know how you feel, Mrs. Akers. Wait, what am I saying? I can never 
know how you feel. But I need to say some things to you. You can't know 
how terribly I feel about what happened."

Despite a momentary flashback, Kerri could not help but also remember 
the one young man who had treated her with kindness, loved her instead 
of raped her, and ultimately, saved her and her son's life. Perhaps she 
owed him at least that. Her life was already a shambles, what more 
could she lose?

"Where would you like to meet?"

"Anywhere you say."

"Do you know the Blarney Stone?"

"The Irish pub over on seventh?"

"Yes, that's the one," she said, " Meet me there in ninety minutes."

"Ninety minutes, " he repeated, "and Mrs. Akers? Thank you for agreeing 
to see me. I do realize that this must be very hard for you."

She hung up, her heart racing. What was she thinking? What if Allan 
were to find out? At least there would be little chance of that. Allan 
would be at work for four more hours and the Blarney Stone was a tavern 
which Allan had mentioned he didn't like and refused to visit. Perhaps 
he was prejudiced towards the Irish as well.

What was perhaps most puzzling of all to Kerri was why she found 
herself taking a bath, styling her hair, picking out her prettiest 
dress and heels. What was it she felt for this boy/man? Why had she 
agreed so quickly to meet with him? Why would he again want to see a 
housewife old enough to be his mother? The sex with him, even though 
forced on them both, had been marvelous, but a young man as handsome as 
Kevin could probably bed down any girl her wanted without the need of 
force, she thought. Yet, there was something, something that both of 
them had felt that night, more than sex, more than infatuation. But 
what? She wasn't sure, but she was sure that the feeling was mutual. 
She had seen it in his eyes, felt it as she knew he had. Perhaps it was 
the first time either had been treated with any degree of respect, the 
first time anyone had truly cared, the first time that their two souls 
had reached out to touch and be touched. She knew she was heading for 
disappointment, that there could never be any real relationship, yet 
her heart was beating wildly as she prepared for the rendezvous.

With feelings of trepidation mixed with that unexplainable urge to see 
him again, she hurriedly grabbed the car keys. Gauging the traffic and 
knowing she had just enough time to make it, she dabbed a bit of 
cologne behind her ear and hurried from the house, completely 
forgetting the waste can in the bathroom.

He was already sitting at an isolated booth toward the back when she 
arrived. He stood as she seated herself.

Their eyes met and again there was that indefinable shared moment which 
both felt deeply. He dropped his eyes.

" Thank you for coming Mrs. Akers. I wouldn't have blamed you if you 
had brought the police," he said quietly.

"I believe after what we have been through together, you can call me 
Kerri. Kevin, I don't blame you for what happened that night. You were 
guilty of nothing more than being there."

"But...I...I...raped you," he said in anguish, tears beginning to 
glisten.

She recognized his remorse as genuine.

"No, that's not how I remember it. I was raped that night, but not by a 
certain young man who showed me kindness and consideration and who, I 
will never forget, saved my life and the life of my son."

"But we..." he stammered

"We, Kevin, you and I, made love. I took you willingly. Why I'm telling 
you this I don't know, but the truth is, if you and I had found 
ourselves alone that night with no coercion, the end result would 
probably have been the same."

She desperately hoped at that moment, that it was his child she was 
carrying.

"Then, you felt it too?" he asked incredulously, his eyes widening as 
his hopes rose that she shared his feelings, his longing to be together 
again. Could it be true? Had they truly shared so much more than simply 
their bodies?

It was her turn to glance away.

"I...I won't deny that there was something, something very special 
between us that night," she began.

"And still is?" he asked, gently reaching to lift her chin so their 
eyes met.

"I...I..."

She could not hold his gaze. This was insane. They were talking like 
lovers. She was a married woman. He, a man/child. She felt like a 
foolish old woman, believing that this could come to anything other 
than disappointment. Her life was fated. She could never be happy with 
Allan, but perhaps there was yet time to reach Kyle, to eventually 
guide him from the self destructive path of his father, to help him 
discover a world of kindness and love which the young man sitting 
across from her had done, despite the environment he had obviously had 
to overcome. And Kevin, so young and wide eyed. He deserved happiness. 
He deserved so much more than a woman like her could ever offer. A tear 
appeared in the corner of her eye.

"Kevin, this is crazy. I'm married. "

"Happily?" he asked before she could go on.

She paused, determined.

"I'm married, Kevin. What else can I say? I have a husband and son. You 
on the other hand are probably still in high school. Why you can't be 
more than fifteen or sixteen?"

"I'll be eighteen in four months. I graduated last spring. I'm 
attending the community college...computers."

He knew she had changed the subject, felt he was losing her.

"Look, I don't even really belong to that gang. It's just that Lenny 
keeps after me to hang around with them."

He saw the fear return to her eyes.

"I know they're a bunch of losers, but I never dreamed they would do 
anything like that. I've told Lenny I want nothing more to do with 
them. I intend to concentrate on my studies."

"Good for you,' she said, "you may have been intelligent from the 
start, but you didn't get those feelings that I saw expressed from 
Lenny."

"My grandmother. I've been living with her since I was eight when mom 
died. I never knew my dad."

Her heart swelled.

"You are a remarkable young man, Kevin."

"No," he smiled, "not really. But Grans is just like a mom to me. I owe 
her a lot."

"She sounds pretty remarkable too."

"She is. I wish you could meet her sometime."

"I really would like that, but..." her voice tailed off.

"Let me see you again!" he blurted out in desperation.

"That isn't possible, Kevin. Surely you must know that."

"Then tell me you don't feel something. Tell me it wasn't more than 
just physical!"

She started to tell him the truth, then realized it would only make 
their parting worse, then started to lie, but realized she could simply 
not deny what was so strong and so right; besides, she owed him more 
than that. In the end she simply avoided an answer and changed tack.

"Kevin, you're bright, handsome and you are going to make some woman 
tremendously happy. You deserve to find a woman who can truly make you 
happy as well."

"I already have," he affirmed quietly.

"No," she said, smiling sadly, "I'm used merchandise, damaged goods."

"NO!" he shouted so loudly that they both looked around to see if any 
of the other patrons had heard.

"Kerri, I think you're the most beautiful and wonderful person I have 
ever met," he whispered vehemently. "It took a great deal of courage to 
endure what you did. I know you did it for your son and not yourself. 
You're everything a man could want. You're everything I want! "

Throwing caution to the wind, her eyes found his, her voice low and 
truthful.

"Kevin, I won't deny it. I wish it could be us somehow. Maybe another 
time, another place it might have been, but for us, here, now, it just 
isn't meant to be."

She saw the tears forming in his eyes, tried to fight them back 
herself.

"I'm sorry," she breathed softly

"Will I ever see you again?" he asked.

"I don't think so," she said, dying inside.

He sat in stunned silence as she arose to leave.

"There is one thing I would want you to know," she stated quietly.

For the last time he looked up and met her beautifully expressive eyes, 
tears falling down both their cheeks.

"Those things I said and did that night..." she started.

"I know Lenny made you say and do them. You hadn't said two words until 
I was aware that you were being forced. It didn't take long to figure 
out he was threatening your son."

"Not everything I said and did that night was a lie. The things I said 
to you, making love to you was no lie. Those things were true, Kevin, 
every word, every moment you were inside me were the most wonderful of 
my life."

He started to rise, to come to her.

"No, please, I have to go. Have a wonderful life Kevin.

She turned to go.

"I love you, Kerri!" he said tearfully.

She stopped, but knowing if she turned, faced him again, she might 
never muster the strength to leave; so, without turning, she quickly 
walked out of the pub and around the corner where no one could see her 
cry.

CHAPTER FOUR

Even after almost four years, her heart still felt the sorrow of that 
day. She exited off the belt line and turned onto the avenue which 
would eventually take her home. Home, she thought. What is that? Her 
childhood had been no precursor of what adult life would bring. She had 
been a happy child from a loving if lower-middle income family. Most of 
her recollections of childhood were happy images of time spent with 
loving, caring parents.

How very different life had become when Allan had asked her to the 
prom. Knowing he was prone to drink even then, she had accepted because 
he was good looking and a linebacker for the high school football team. 
The sights, smells and feelings came rushing back as she momentarily 
relived that night; the dance, Allan slipping away to drink with some 
buddies, returning in a drunken abusive state, insisting they leave 
even though they had only danced once and the evening was young. She 
remembered the short drive to a secluded spot where Allan, despite her 
initial protests became argumentative and lewdly told her to 'put out 
or get out'. She remembered trying to open the door, being jerked back 
into the car, strangled to unconsciousness, and awakening to find 
herself in the back seat, nude and being raped. She had no recollection 
of the moment of losing her virginity. He had even robbed her of that. 
He didn't care. He simply wanted the conquest, another trophy to brag 
about, and his own sexual gratification. He used no protection and made 
no attempt to withdraw and so had impregnated her. Too ashamed to tell 
even her parents, she had been filled with trepidation, but 
optimistically hopeful when her pregnancy test was confirmed and Allan 
said he would marry her. He didn't even propose, she thought, just told 
her he would not burden her with a bastard.

With marriage, however, his drinking got worse instead of better as 
Allan seemed to fit the stereotype of the small town football hero who 
seems lost in the real world of post graduation. She did everything she 
knew to help and be supportive including the suggestion of a counselor 
but his pride precluded his ever facing his problems or even 
acknowledging them. Jobs never lasted and when they didn't, she was 
usually the one who paid the price. What started as an occasional slap, 
soon degenerated, after Kyle was born, into full scale beatings, which 
had twice landed her in the hospital.

She had thought that despite the deteriorating relationship with Allan, 
she would at least have her son as comfort. Yet, when Kyle leaned to 
his father, despite finding no real affection there, Kerri was 
heartbroken. Despite her continued and best efforts, the boy, while 
never a behavior problem, was also never the close, loving child for 
which she had hoped either. He shared activities with her; going places 
and doing things, but he never truly shared himself with her. It was 
always Allan, whose attitude toward the boy varied between tolerant and 
resentful that he sought. When he was hurt, had a question or was 
excited about one of his Little League ball games which Allan hadn't 
even attended, it was the father who he sought out, not the devoted 
mother whose heart grew sadder and sadder as she felt him growing away 
from her.

She turned again, this time onto the street where she and Kyle now 
lived. The small rental frame house was even more modest than that 
which they had shared with Allan. Neither of them had adjusted well, 
she thought, to Allan's leaving. She had grown despondent, despite the 
absence of the beatings, for as she tried to shift her entire affection 
to her son, Kyle steadily withdrew. He, of course, blamed her for Allan 
leaving and somehow convinced himself that she had also somehow 
manipulated the father into abandoning his son as well. Coupled with 
his self consciousness about the ugly scar across his face which 
sometimes made him the butt of cruel jokes at school, it was enough to 
cause lack of respect and ridicule to turn to abject hatred.

While slowing for a stop light, she wondered what might have been if 
she hadn't been so despondent that day after saying good bye to Kevin. 
What if, instead of going directly to her bedroom and crying until Kyle 
arrived home from school, she had remembered what lay in the bathroom 
wastebasket? Would it have made a difference? But feeling as she did 
about the baby inside of her, would it, could it, have really ended any 
differently?

She remembered fixing dinner and then making the excuse of not feeling 
well and retreating to the bedroom where she finally fell into a fitful 
sleep. But her most intense recollection was of what happened next.

She was jerked to consciousness by the pain, as a huge powerful hand 
dragged her by the hair off the bed and onto the floor. She was thrown 
onto her back and before her dazed eyes could even adjust, Allan was 
astride of her waist, holding the pregnancy indicator inches from her 
face.

"SO YOU REALLY DID LET THE NIGGERS BREED YOU!" he shouted as he threw 
the offending piece of plastic across the room and caught her cheek 
with a vicious backhand.

"Allan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happ..."

Three more backhands, this times with the fist partially closed as his 
knuckles made contact with her face.

"DIDN'T MEAN FOR IT TO HAPPEN? HELL, YOUR OWN SON SAID YOU BEGGED 'EM, 
SAID YOU SPREAD YOURSELF ESPECIALLY WIDE FOR THAT YOUNG BUCK! IS THAT 
TRUE, SON?

Kerri hadn't even realized her son was there, standing just inside the 
doorway. She would later learn it was he who had found the test 
indicator and gone immediately to his father.

"Everybody heard her, Dad. She screamed, "Breed me nigger! Breed me!" 
She was begging him for it!"

As another half dozen blows rained upon her, Kerri knew if was no use 
to deny her own words. She also knew she would never be allowed to 
explain, so, instead of resisting in any way, she simply went limp 
enduring blow after blow until Allan was momentarily winded. Blood was 
flowing freely from her nose and lip.

"NO WOMAN OF MINE IS GONNA HAVE NO NIGGER BABY. YOU UNDERSTAND?" he 
shouted. "TOMORROW YOU'RE GONNA CALL A CLINIC AND HAVE THAT NIGGER BABY 
CUT OUTTA YOU!"

"I can't do that," she said quietly, his eyes growing large in 
amazement.

'AND JUST WHY THE HELL NOT?"

"Allan, you know my religion forbids it. If you insist we can talk 
about giving it up for adop..."

"FORBIDS IT? FORBIDS IT?"

He was shouting now at the top of his voice, punctuating phrases with 
slaps, some open handed, others with an almost closed fist, each harder 
and more vicious than the last.

"SO YOUR RELIGION (slap) FORBIDS IT. (slap) WELL WHAT DOES YOUR 
RELIGION (slap) SAY ABOUT FUCKING OTHER MEN? (slap) WHAT DOES IT SAY 
(slap) WHEN THOSE MEN ARE NIGGERS? (slap) WHEN YOU TAKE ON EIGHT AT A 
TIME? (slap) WHEN YOU BEG 'EM TO FUCK YOU? (slap) WHEN YOU SUCK THEIR 
COCKS? (slap) WHEN YOU BEG 'EM TO SPLIT YOUR CUNT? (slap) WHEN YOU 
OFFER YOUR ASS TO THE BIGGEST COCK THERE? (slap) WHEN YOU BEG 'EM TO 
BREED YOU? (slap) WHEN YOU TELL 'EM YOU AIN'T NEVER GONNA BE SATISFIED 
WITH WHITE MEAT AGAIN? (slap) HUH? HUH, BITCH? WHAT DOES IT SAY THEN?"

He caught her full force with his closed fist knocking her senseless.

Getting up, he towered over the cowering woman who attempted to roll 
over onto her side and into a fetal position for self protection, but, 
anticipating her move, he stepped to that side and when she rolled, he 
kicked with all his might, his heavy work boot landing directly in her 
lower stomach. She hardly had time to gasp when everything turned 
brilliantly white, followed by intense and blessed nothingness.

She therefore wasn't aware that Kyle approached her prone figure, 
looked down in disgust, and spat upon her before he and Allan walked 
from the room.

As the houses began to assume the familiarity of her own neighborhood, 
Kerri remembered waking up hours later bleeding from her vagina. 
Struggling to the bathroom her physical pain was exacerbated by the 
feeling of loss and emptiness as the bloody discharge told its own 
story. As she continued to bleed, she wished for a quiet oblivion, a 
final relief from the hell that her life had become, but even that was 
to be denied, She collapsed again into unconsciousness there on the 
bathroom floor to awaken several hours later. The sun was up and both 
Allan and Kyle were gone. As she realized the bleeding had stopped, or 
at least abated, Kerri struggled to dress herself and, knowing she was 
too weak to drive, call a cab.

She called the school and confirmed, somewhat to her surprise, that 
Kyle was in class as usual

At the clinic, they confirmed her miscarriage, becoming immediately 
suspicious of her blackened eyes and bloody nose and mouth, but,she at 
least convinced them enough that she had fallen from a ladder and 
landed atop some large tools, that they prescribed the usual post 
miscarriage meds and released her without calling the police.

When Kyle had arrived home that afternoon, he had rushed immediately to 
his room and begun packing. Contrary to his usual taciturn manner, he 
seemed only too glad to inform her that his father was coming by that 
evening and the two of them were leaving her forever. Kyle related that 
his father had told Kyle to attend this last day of school so he, 
Allan, could complete the withdrawl forms and make their travel 
arrangements. He then unleashed an unusually vicious verbal assault 
upon her using every denigrating word he knew and making it clear, in 
no uncertain terms, that he no longer considered her his mother and 
never wanted to see her again.

After repeated attempts to get the boy to listen, Kerri, stunned by 
hurt and disbelief, retreated to the kitchen where she tearfully 
prepared what she expected to be Kyle's last meal with her. He refused 
to eat,instead setting his bags beside the door and waiting in the 
front porch swing.

When the appointed hour came and went, Kerri began to grow suspicious. 
As darkness swept the neighborhood, she became even more convinced that 
Allan had simply skipped town, leaving the boy he had never really 
wanted anyway. Once more, Allan, lacking the courage to face the 
problem, this time of telling the boy he didn't want him, had opted for 
the easy way out. He had lied to Kyle and quietly crept out of town.

That night, Kyle stayed on the porch until after midnight, refusing to 
accept the obvious. He kept insisting that his father had simply been 
delayed and been unable to call. Finally, he withdrew to his room for 
the night, sure that the morning would bring the appearance of, or at 
least a phone call from, his father. No amount of prodding could get 
him to leave the house for the next three days. Even when Kerri had 
phoned the school and allowed Kyle to talk with the principal who had 
assured him his father had made no arrangements to withdraw Kyle from 
school, the boy refused to accept what was plainly and painfully 
evident.

He reluctantly returned to school, but instead of accepting reality, he 
again twisted it to fit his own warped notion of reality, accusing 
Kerri, not only of driving away his father, but, of somehow convincing 
Allan to leave the boy with her. Repeated attempts to calmly discuss 
the situation always resulted in Kyle flying into a rage and stomping 
from the room. His contempt for her had seemed to grow steadily ever 
since, despite all her efforts to somehow reach her troubled son.

Now, four years later, as she pulled into her driveway, she was more 
concerned than ever, not for her own personal safety which would have 
been wise, but rather about the self destructive path down which her 
son was speeding pell-mell.

CHAPTER FIVE

She had fixed his supper hours ago. Knowing he had stayed out late on 
several occasions just to aggravate her, she was, at first, not overly 
worried, but as the food was relegated to the oven to be kept warm, 
prime time on TV coming and going, the first twinges of apprehension 
began to appear. Finally, as midnight approached, she heard a car drive 
up and looked out the window to see Kyle emerging from the passenger 
side and begin an all too familiar stagger toward the house.

She had suspected for some time that he might be following his father's 
alcoholic path to self destruction, but, despite her searches of his 
room, and surreptitiously checking his breath, she had never found any 
actual evidence until tonight. He reeked of alcohol as he slipped past 
her as she held open the front door.

"Kyle, you've been drinking." she said as forcefully as possible.

"So what? As if it's any of your business!" he retorted.

She knew her son well enough to know that something beyond the usual 
was troubling him.

"Something's wrong. Maybe I can help."

"Oh, so now the whore is gonna give advice to the lovelorn," he 
sneered, trying to keep his eyes focused.

"Is it Susan?" she asked, "Have you two had a fight?"

Susan was about the only girl who had ever shown any interest in Kyle. 
The scar scared many of them away and his pessimistic view of life ran 
off the rest. But Susan had been different. They had started their 
relationship by studying together and after a while a romance, of sort, 
had bloomed. The girl was not very attractive, but very sweet, and 
Kerri had hoped that she might have a positive impact on her son.

"A fight?" he answered angrily. "No fight. She's just pulling that 
holier than thou attitude again."

"I don't understand," said Kerri.

"DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?" he shouted. "SHE WON'T PUT OUT!"

Kerri cringed to hear that phrase again, even after all these years.

"Look, Kyle, sex is a big step for a girl to take."

"YOU SHOULD KNOW!" he snarled.

She drew back a bit, wounded, surprised he could still hurt her after 
all the insults he had hurled her way in the last four years.

"Ironic, isn't it," he said, " I live with a whore and have a virgin 
for a girlfriend. God you have no idea how angry that makes me."

"Kyle, I'm willing to help any way I..."

Enraged, he grabbed her by the throat and slammed her against the wall, 
his grip tightening.

"AND JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO TO HELP ME?" he 
shouted.

She could only gurgle as his hand squeezed even tighter.

A look she had never seen before suddenly washed across her face. He 
looked into her eyes as a sardonic grin spread across his face.

"Why, of course, mother dear," he said suddenly calmly, icily, "there 
is something you can do for me. Susan won't put out and I'm horny as 
hell."

Realization dawning on her, Kerri's eyes grew wide with disbelief.

"No, Kyle, no!" she struggled to say.

"Of course, why didn't I think of this before?"

Her heart racing with fear, fighting to get enough air, she tried to 
reason with him.

"Kyle, you're drunk. Think what you're doing!"

"Oh, I am, I am," he leered, leaning back and looking at her entire 
body suggestively. "After all, you are experienced at pleasing men, now 
aren't you?"

"Kyle, no!"

She fought to break free, but his strength and size held her helplessly 
in place.

"You know, it's been a while since I've seen these," he said, his free 
hand grasping and squeezing her right breast.

"Kyle, for God's sake, I'm your mother!"

"Correction. You're my whore mother who just loves to put out."

"Kyle, that's not so, I..."

"You put out in every way possible and you loved every minute of it. 
You mean to say you'll put out for some niggers and you won't even put 
out for your own son?"

"You know it's different..."

"Yeah, sure it is," he sneered, "they're black and I'm white!"

His hand slipped under her sweater. When her hands came up to fend him 
off, he slapped her, hard.

"If there's anything you should be good at mother, it's how to take a 
beating and how to put out. Now, which is it going to be? Or do you 
want both?"

He eased his grip every so slightly to allow her to answer.

"Kyle, you know I can't do this. This is wron..."

"His punch caught her in the stomach, knocking the wind from her making 
it even harder to get her breath.

Impatient with the bra beneath, he reached around to the back and 
ripped the closures open. Kerri was just beginning to get back her 
breath as his hand found her bare breast and squeezed painfully.

Kerri's mouth flew open in pain and was immediately filled by her son's 
tongue. She fought free of the kiss and again her arms came up in 
defense. He grabbed both her wrists in one of his powerful hands and 
held them above her head. He slapped her several times in succession. 
Before she could recover, he had pulled her skirt above her waist.

Still she continued to struggle, but as she recognized the all too 
familiar situation in which she found herself, her voice which at first 
had been authoritative and parental, became progressively pleading and 
subservient. She would fight, but her strength was no match for his and 
she knew it.

His hand went to her nest.

"See? What'd I tell you. I can feel how wet you are even through your 
panties!"

"Kyle, you can't do this!" she cried as he stripped her panties from 
her.

"Oh yes I can. And I think I'm gonna like it, A LOT!" he grinned, 
unbuckling his pants and sliding them down.

She tried to swing her body away from him, but as he pulled down his 
shorts he simply moved against her, sandwiching her between him and the 
wall.

"Now do you spread 'em willingly or do we do this the hard way?"

It was as if her ex-husband had returned. The foul smell of alcohol, 
the drunken rage to be vented on her, the abusive language and most of 
all, the lack of warmth, caring, compassion. The only emotions in her 
son at this moment were rage and lust.

She struggled once again to be free but he simply began using her as a 
punching bag. A well timed blow here, a backhand there. Her eyes began 
to glaze as the blows fell upon her face and body. She was crying now, 
begging him to stop and still he continued to hit her.

"TELL ME YOU WANT IT BITCH, TELL ME!" he shouted in her ear.

She looked up into his eyes with what little strength she had left.

"No Kyle, I won't!I will never say that."

The blows began anew, more vicious more telling on her body.

"SAY IT! SAY IT!" he shouted.

Her ability to vocalize almost gone, she could only weakly shake her 
head negatively as he hit her again and again. Repeatedly he banged her 
head against the wall, addling her with each impact.

During a momentary lull as he caught his breath before unleashing a new 
barrage, she looked through swollen eyes and bleeding lips to catch his 
eyes.

"Do... you really hate me... that much?" she asked, the words quiet, 
strained.

The look on his face was her final answer. Her defeat was complete as 
she saw nothing but the drunken lack of humanity which had tormented 
her soul for fourteen plus years. She had lost. He was his father. 
There was nothing left to save. No hope for either of them.

"TELL ME YOU WANT IT!" he repeated, going back to a death grip on her 
throat.

As her lungs felt as if they would burst, she felt she would welcome 
death, but she knew her faith could not allow it. She must reach for 
life no matter how tenuous the thread by which it was held.

His other hand punched her in the face, the breasts, the stomach. Her 
body was beginning to shut down. She could no longer will herself to 
resist. She could take no more.

"TELL ME YOU WANT IT!" he shouted deafeningly.

He had won she had nothing left.

"TELL ME!" he shouted a final time as he reached down, put his mouth 
over her breast and bit down with almost all his might. This fresh pain 
was excruciating and offered only the promise of more. There was no 
escape. No hope.

"God! I want it. I want it!" she screamed, near total collapse.

"I knew it," he sneered, "you just can't stay away from cock can you 
whore?"

When she didn't reply, he grabbed the breast he had just bitten and 
squeezed with all his might.

"No!' she screamed, "I can't stay away from cock."

"You did want it that night in the park didn't you? he spat.

"Yes, yes!" she cried as his hand began to tighten on her breast again.

"And you want it now, don't you whore? TELL ME YOU WANT IT FROM ME 
NOW!"

Again her breast felt the unbearable bolts of searing pain

" I...I...want it...from...you!"

Religion or no, Kerri Akers would have welcomed death at that moment.

"Then spread 'em bitch!"

He obviously intended to take her right there, standing against the 
wall.

She closed her eyes and relaxed her legs more than spread them, still 
hoping for a miracle.

None materialized.

In one swift movement, Kyle had forced open her legs, lifted her off 
the floor and pinned her against the wall with his body weight. She 
felt him find her nest with his drunken erection and the next second 
Kerri Akers was committing incest with her son. He pumped her painfully 
and repeatedly, some of his thrusts powerful enough to raise her even 
higher off the floor. She felt sick as she felt his pubic hair rubbing 
against hers, realizing he was completely within her. There was no 
romance here, no tenderness, no caring. There was only rape.

After an interminably long time, she felt him tense and suddenly his 
hot seed was gushing in burst after burst within her. He held it only a 
moment longer and then as suddenly as he had entered her, he withdrew 
allowing her to slide down the wall to the floor in a heap.

He started to walk from the room. Then turned suddenly back toward her.

"Tell me you're nothing but a whore. Tell me it was wonderful and you 
want to give to me anytime I want!"

Still nearly senseless, she could not believe what he was suggesting.

"SAY IT OR I'LL..." he said starting to walk toward her with his fist 
raised.

Just when she thought it might be over, it was obvious the nightmare 
would continue."

"Kyle, I can't. This is wrong," she cried the tears streaming.

He kicked her viciously in the breast, the stomach and anus. She would 
have screamed, but no longer had even that within to give. Her grunts 
and whimpers told him she had had enough.

"Say it or there will be more!" he threatened

She could not look him in the eye. Her life was gone. What she had 
already done was despicable, unforgivable.

"WELL?" he commanded.

"I'm a whore," she said quietly, truly accepting of the statement she 
had just made. "...It...was...wonderful..." her voice now so weak it 
was almost inaudible.

"And?" he said in a voice to match his sardonic smile.

"...And...I...I...I...want to...to give it... to you...anytime...you 
want." Her voice revealed what he already knew. She was broken. Just as 
his father had broken her, now he had done so as well. She might suit 
his purposes. But then that was what whores were for.

He strutted triumphantly from the room.

CHAPTER SIX

Kerri awoke late. Her nightmarish dreams had caused her to sleep 
restlessly, when at all. It was Saturday. Kyle would be out of school 
and she wasn't scheduled to work this weekend. She was racked with 
guilt, but determined that it would end there. Kyle had been drunk, she 
reasoned, he wasn't thinking rationally, his inhibitions suppressed by 
the alcohol. Perhaps in the light of day, he too would understand how 
very wrong last night had been. Perhaps she could give him the help he 
needed to quit drinking or at least find him help.

She knocked on his door and when there was no answer, opened it to find 
the room unoccupied. Checking downstairs, the house too was empty. A 
momentary fear that he had left her ran through her mind, but she 
remembered his clothes were still in his closet. He must simply have 
arisen early and gone out. She wondered where as she put the kettle on 
the stove to make tea.

The answer was not long in coming as a car pulled into the driveway. It 
was the car which belonged to Kyle's friend Mark. Mark, too, was an 
outcast of sorts. Not a handsome boy at all, he too was shunned by most 
of the girls and boys alike at school. It seemed natural the two would 
gravitate to one another and had remained close friends even after Kyle 
had begun dating Susan.

Kyle got out with a small package in his hand while Mark waited, engine 
running. Could it be, she wondered? Could he be feeling remorse as well 
and bought her something as an apology, a peace offering? Even though 
she knew the odds were against it, her heart wished it so to the degree 
she was almost smiling as the door opened.

"Here," said Kyle, pitching the package at her, "I want you wearing 
this tonight when I get back. I may ring the doorbell. If I do, I want 
you to answer the door wearing that."

The package was not sealed and the contents spilled out as Kerri 
attempted to catch it. Her heart sank as she noticed the bag was from 
one of the sleazy negligee stores downtown. There was a very brief 
teddy top of see-through black nylon, ringed in fringe. It would barely 
come to her mid drift and would hide nothing. The matching thong was of 
the same material and crotchless. Also included were a pair of black 
stay-up fishnet stockings and a pair of five inch black stiletto heels.

"Kyle, honey, we have to talk. I can't wear this. Last night was a 
mista..."

The slap caught her across the cheek, not really inflicting damage as 
much as stunning her, enabling him to grab her by the hair and pull her 
over to the stove. The burner under the tea was now red hot. Kyle 
lifted off the kettle and shoved her face to within inches of the 
glowing rings.

"Now, mother," he said between gritted teeth, "what is it you have to 
say?"

Already feeling the intense heat, Kerri tried to pull upward but his 
strong hands held her immobile.

"Kyle..." she stammered, "we... have to talk about last night."

"All I want to hear from you is how great it was and that you'll be 
wearing that outfit when I come home this evening for supper!"

"Kyle, no! Late night was wron..."

He pushed her face another inch closer to the burner.

"Ah, ah," he snarled, "not what I want to hear."

"Kyle, please!" she begged, as he closed the gap between burner and 
face another inch. The heat was already intense. Kerri could smell her 
hair beginning to singe.

"Well?" he demanded.

"We can't..." she said weakly, the last ounce of her resistance being 
used up.

"So I'm going to have to teach you another lesson, just like last 
night," he interrupted.

He spun her around, slapped her hard enough to stun her, ripped open 
her robe and grabbed her breast which, despite her desperate efforts, 
he brought down to the glowing burner. Her scream was piercing as he 
forced her nipple against the glowing coils. He released her only long 
enough to again grab her by the hair forcing her face close to the 
coils.

"Now that we know I'm serious," he said, "let me hear what you have to 
say now!"

The pain, still intense in her breast, Kerri knew she must submit, for, 
like his father, the boy would stop at nothing to dominate her, drunk 
or sober.

She was crying now and the tears sizzled as they struck the instrument 
of her torture.

"I can't hear you," he mocked as she tried to talk through the tears.

"I'll...do it," she cried.

"And just what is it you'll do?" he sneered.

"I'll...wear the outfit."

Her voice was again weak, defeated, as it had been last night.

"And what about last night? Tell me how great it was!" he ordered.

"It...was...wonderful." she said, almost choking on the words.

"And how about it mother?" Do you want me to fuck you again?"

She was terrified as he was now steadily pushing her face closer and 
she knew he wouldn't hesitate to inflict the terrible burns upon her 
face. After all, she knew he blamed her for his own disfigurement.

"YES!" she screamed in total surrender, "I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME AGAIN!"

He smiled and pushed her even closer to the source of the heat that was 
beginning to burn her face.

"And how often do you want me to fuck you, mother?" he demanded, again 
emphasizing their relationship in such a way as to make it sound 
obscene.

"When...whenever you want," she surrendered through the sobs. "I'll 
fuck you whenever you want!"

"Better, much better," he said pulling her to her knees. He unzipped 
his pants with one hand while holding her by the hair with the other. A 
strong yank and her mouth opened in pain. He filled it with his 
erection, pulling her to and fro until his creamy seed filled her 
mouth.

"Swallow it, bitch!" he demanded.

She did as she was told.

Finally, he released her letting her slide to the floor in a heap.

"Oh, yeah," he said from the door, "and make yourself presentable. 
You're my whore now. Whore's are supposed to be beautiful and sexy...in 
a cheap sort of way."

His voice became low, controlled, icy and the most menacing of all.

"Don't disappoint me mother. You won't like what will happen if you 
do."

With that he was out the door.

As she heard the car pull away, Kerri Akers knew that this moment, not 
last night, not her husband's beatings and not the gang rape four years 
ago, was the most miserable of her life. Everything she had ever lived 
for was gone; marriage, family and most of all her son. Now she was to 
become an incestuous whore whose only purpose in life was to provide 
sex to her own son. Never had she wanted more to die than at this 
moment. She lay in the kitchen floor and wept for over two hours.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Kerri forced herself to go through the motions of some household 
chores. She kept blaming herself for surrendering, giving in to her 
son's bestial desires. She knew she had fought as best as a small woman 
could against a young man who towered over her and weighed almost two 
and one half times as much as she; but, despite the torture, despite 
the beating, had she done enough? How could she have allowed the 
situation to reach this point?

The recriminations came thick and fast as what vestige of self respect 
her son had not already destroyed, she now finished for him in her own 
mind. She thought of leaving, running away, but, like before, had 
nowhere to go. Her mother and father were both dead, with no other 
relatives except a cousin out on the coast who she had never met. She 
might go to Dr. Sizemore, but she knew immediately she could never 
share with him the shame of what had occurred last night. Besides, what 
could he really do? Refer her to a shelter? There was her friend 
Francis who lived across town. Married now, but with no children, she 
and her husband might let her stay awhile, but eventually she would be 
faced with the prospects of returning home to an enraged Kyle.

It was hopeless. She was trapped. She was an incestuous whore and she 
had nowhere to turn. She had entered the gates of hell and there was no 
way out. Mechanically, she went through the motions of dusting and 
doing laundry, her fate beyond her ability to control.

She prepared dinner as unenthusiastically as she had completed the 
housework. With the cooking under control, she dragged herself to the 
bathroom where she bathed, styled her hair and applied some makeup to 
hide the bruises. She again applied burn ointment to her nipple. The 
burn was not that serious, but still extremely painful, a constant 
reminder of why she was doing exactly what Kyle had commanded. Tears 
appeared as she walked into the bedroom and spied the outfit in which 
she was to display herself. Everything fit well, supplementing her 
beautiful face by showing off every aspect of her curvaceous figure. 
Even for a woman the size of a girl, the proportions of her body would 
have been the envy of almost any woman. Her breasts were full, yet 
still firm and high. Her legs, though short, remained lean from thighs 
to trim ankles; her waist small, her tummy flat.

Not wanting to look, but out of shear habit, she glanced in the full 
length mirror which hung on her closet door. She gasped as, just as she 
had feared, the outfit concealed nothing. The nylon of the teddy might 
just as well have been transparent. Her breasts and nipples were in 
full display holding the front of the top several inches away from her 
chest. The stockings and shoes only added attention to the thong which 
was all but non existent. Her pubic hair was plainly visible and the 
open crotch displayed her vaginal lips all too prominently. The slit 
continued in the back exposing her anus as well. She was sickened, as 
she turned away and went downstairs to finish the last touches on the 
meal and await her...son? rapist? lover? She despised herself.

A few minutes later she heard the doorbell. Remembering her 
instructions, she unlocked the latch and began to open the door a 
crack, when a strong arm from the other side pushed it wide open and 
she stood face to face with Kyle, and his friend Mark whose eyes began 
to bulge as he swept them over the inviting sight. Her arms and hands 
instinctively went to cover breasts and nest, but before she could 
begin to duck into an adjoining room to hide, Kyle's hand caught her 
arm and he stood smiling as his friend continued to ogle her sumptuous 
body.

"See?" he said to Mark, "I told you she was a whore!"

Kerri was burning with embarrassment. After the events of last night 
and this morning, she thought nothing could shame her again, but her 
entire body was reddening as the young man leered.

"Oh, she just loves to show off her body to men. Don't you mom?" he 
said squeezing her arm painfully, the message clear.

"Yes," she said, resignation setting in once more, "I love... for them 
to look at me."

"And why don't you tell Mark what parts of your body you like to show 
to men?" Kyle laughed sardonically, the squeeze on her arm tightening.

"I...I like them to look... at my breasts."

"And?" demanded Kyle.

"And my rear, " she said, her eyes falling downward.

"Except whores don't call it their rear, do they Mom?"

"My ass," she cried, "I love for them to look at my ass!"

"And there"s one more thing you just love to show, don't you, mother?

"My nest," she said trying to squeeze her legs together even more as 
the young companion looked for the visual reward between her legs.

"Come on now, mom," laughed Kyle as his grip tightened, "That's not 
what you tell me you want to show me."

Wanting only to run, hide, die from the humiliation, Kerri looked to 
her son whose eyes told her clearly what she had become and the words 
that befitted her new station in life.

"...My...my...pussy!" she cried, near tears, " I love to show men my 
pussy!" Kyle laughed and released her.

"I brought Mark over for dinner and to show him how lucky some guys are 
to have moms like you."

She retreated to the kitchen as quickly as possible to finish preparing 
the meal and to wonder if she could stand to expose her body to these 
two teenagers for an entire evening. Would Kyle expect her to do more 
than expose her body to Mark? Surely not. Surely the humiliation she 
had already suffered would suffice or at worst, she might be forced to 
remove the little clothes she wore. First a whore and now a stripper 
she mused, as her self vilification continued.

She brought the food to them in the dining area. As she started to seat 
herself, Kyle spoke.

"Whores don't eat with company. You can eat in the kitchen later. Right 
now we want a little entertainment while we eat. You can leave on the 
stockings and shoes. Ditch the rest and show us what you've got."

Her eyes caught those of her son in supplication but she read his 
resolve and the underlying threat.

"Is this what you want, Mark? she asked, hopeful the other boy would be 
embarrassed or ashamed into ending this perversion.

"Sure Mrs.Akers, I've never seen a naked whore before; especially one 
as good looking as you."

The boys snickered together. Kyle had obviously prompted his friend.

Why not, she thought to herself. A common whore is exactly what you 
have become. It's what whores do. So she slipped the top over her head, 
letting it fall silently to the floor. Mark's eyes bulged even further. 
Her breasts had been clearly visible through the flimsy material, but 
seeing them totally uncovered for the first time was a tremendous turn 
on for the boy. Kyle silently pointed to her panties. Burning with 
shame, she slid them down and off. She stood naked except for the 
stockings and shoes; silent as they ate, gawked and made lewd remarks. 
Twice they had her bend over so the most intimate parts of her body 
were fully revealed to them.

What had she become, she wondered? Just how far had she sunk to allow 
herself to be bullied into this? Tears of desperate sorrow joined her 
humiliation.

"Time for dessert." smiled Kyle.

She started for the kitchen. She had baked a pie.

"No!" commanded Kyle, his voice bringing her up short. "We have a 
different kind of dessert in mind."

They moved to the living room where Kyle sat on the sofa while Mark 
found an overstuffed easy chair. Kyle pointed toward mark. Kerri moved 
to stand in front of the young visitor. Kyle pointed again, this time 
toward the floor. Her heart jumped into her throat. No, she thought, he 
wouldn't. Yet as she went to her knees, she knew exactly what her son 
and his friend had in mind.

"You see, mother, since Mark is our guest we should make every effort 
to make him happy. Right, Mark?"

The other boy nodded, smiling, unbuckling his belt.

This I simply cannot, will not do, she thought, beginning to rise.

"Before you get to your feet, mother, perhaps you should consider that 
after while, Mark will be going home, and you and I will be left to 
consider whether you have been polite to our guest."

The threat was apparent to everyone in the room. Her heart ached. She 
sank to her knees as Mark pulled down his pants and shorts, his 
erection not overly large but quivering with firm anticipation.

"I suggest you don't keep our guest waiting any longer," said Kyle, his 
voice laced with contempt.

Filled with self-hatred, she began to lower her head toward his crotch 
and the waiting shaft.

"Yeah, she loves to give head," sneered Kyle. "You just love to suck 
cock, don't you mom? Tell him mom. Go ahead, tell him!"

She looked into Mark's eyes but found nothing but lust for sexual 
release. Her eyes dropped.

"I...love to...suck cock." she uttered almost inaudibly.

"Of course she'd like it better if it were black," taunted her son. 
"but, she'll suck any cock she can get her mouth on. Why she's aching 
to have yours in her mouth right now. Go ahead mom, tell Mark you want 
to suck his cock...TELL HIM!"

"I...want to suck your cock, Mark," she said quietly.

"Well who am I to prevent you from doing what you want," smiled the 
boy, grabbing his shaft and holding it but an inch from her mouth. One 
last look at Kyle told her he was more than happy to share her services 
with anyone as long as she was denigrated in the process.

Closing her eyes, her mouth opened and she took the rigid rod into her 
mouth. Kerri actually had to do little, as the boy began thrusting, 
slowly at first then, more rapidly and finally wildly. He reached his 
peak in mere moments, the hot seed filling her mouth and throat. She 
swallowed as she knew would be expected, the boy fell back, spent, and 
Kerri slumped to the floor, tears of heartache and hopelessness, 
filling her eyes.

Slowly she arose and started to walk from the room.

"And just where do you think you're going?"

"Kyle, I have to go to the bathroom." she answered, painfully aware of 
the control her son now held over her.

The boys looked at each other and smiled.

"No, I don't think so. We want you to stand there and pee in the floor. 
It might be interesting to see how a whore pees."

She started to protest, realized the futility and danger, and so turned 
to face the boys. She was tense and uncertain as to whether she could 
perform what they wanted, but she also knew the consequences of 
disappointing Kyle and so closed her eyes, spread her legs slightly, 
tried to relax and willed herself to urinate. It was several moments 
before she felt the first drops ease from the lips of her nest. The two 
boys leered as the flow increased, most running down her legs to soak 
her stockings while some fell splashing directly onto the floor.

I'm an animal, she thought. I have become a thing, no better than a 
dog. No, wait, she vilified herself further, I am a dog, a bitch they 
are training to perform on cue; a trained sex toy to play with as they 
please.

The phone rang. Kyle answered it discovering it was Mark's mother 
reminding him they were going to visit a sick friend in the hospital. 
Mark took the phone and tried to beg off, but to no avail.

"Sorry," he said, hanging up the receiver, "gotta go."

"Maybe you'd like a little something to remember mom by, something that 
you can look forward to again next time," said Kyle.

Then there are to be next times, Kerri thought, no doubt lots of next 
times.

"Sure," replied mark, "What do you have in mind?"

"Come here," commanded Kyle, pointing for Kerri to approach the back 
side of the sofa.

He bent her over the back of the sofa, her nest and anus now fully 
exposed.

"Why don't you tell Mark how much you'd like him to fuck you," he 
mocked. When she didn't respond immediately, he slid off his belt and 
brought it painfully across her exposed rear several times.

Where she found the courage to resist, when none any longer existed, 
she did not know. But her mute response enraged him and, even Mark was 
taken aback by Kyle's fury as he began whipping her with the buckle and 
no longer across her cheeks. His blows now were well aimed at her 
exposed anal and vaginal lips. Finally, once again, she could take no 
more.

"Stop. Stop...please!" she whimpered.

"THEN SAY IT WHORE!" Kyle commanded.

Reeling from the agony, Kerri barely uttered the words.

"Fuck me, Mark. I...want you to...fuck me."

Already hard, the boy dropped his pants and in one powerful thrust took 
her completely. Her grunts and groans of physical and emotional pain 
excited the teenager even more. Again he climaxed in a matter of 
seconds. She felt his warm seed in her vagina, praying to a god she was 
no longer sure existed, that she would not conceive.

"God, you're good Mrs. Akers!" the boy managed to say catching his 
breath.

"Yeah, she's a good fuck. I should know," bragged Kyle, "I broke her in 
myself after she begged me for it."

The friend's eyes widened.

"You mean..." Mark stammered looking down to Kerri, you mean you fucked 
your own son?"

"Go ahead, tell him mother. Tell him what you told me this morning."

The anguish came rushing back anew. Just like four years ago, she was 
being forced to say and do things repugnant to her. How, she wondered 
did she keep falling victim to such entrapment.

"I...want Kyle to fuck me," she complied, "...anytime he wants."

"And tell Mark where you like it, mother."

She closed her eyes. The tears would no longer come.

"I like it...in my mouth...in my ass...and in my...pussy."

"So how about it?" inquired Kyle of his friend, "Want to ream her tight 
little ass?"

The boy was embarrassed that he was now flaccid with no signs of 
revival, but covered his dilemma with, "God, I'd love to, but if I 
don't get home, dad will kill me."

"That's okay," replied her son offhandedly," she'll keep."

He pulled her to her feet to face his friend.

"Shouldn't you thank Mark for what he did for you tonight?" he said 
contemptuously.

She tried to look the teenager in the eyes but could not. She knew what 
Kyle wanted to hear. Her voice was weak, barely more than a whisper.

"Thank you Mark, for...for...fucking my mouth and pussy."

Both boys smiled broadly.

"And what do you want him to fuck next time?"

"I...want you to...fuck...my ass." she uttered.

"Come on mother," you can do better than that. Beg him for it, the way 
you do me!"

How much more could she take, she wondered? How much more humiliation 
would it take to satisfy him?

"...Please...please fuck my ass!" she cried.

"Sure Mrs. Akers," I'd be happy to,' he replied, both boys breaking 
into raucous laughter.

As the front door closed, Kyle turned to his mother.

"Not bad. As soon as you learn to shut up and do as you're told, things 
will get back to normal around here. Now go clean up and get to bed."

Silently, Kerri did as she was told. She pulled the covers around her, 
but the chill she felt remained. Her life was spiraling, no, she 
thought, her life had already spiraled out of control. Please God, she 
prayed, let me die. Just let me die now. She drifted into a fitful and 
troubled sleep.

The clock on her bedside shone 2:00 am when she was awakened by a 
splitting pain in her anus. Kyle had begun drinking as soon as Mark had 
left and was now taking what he considered, in his drunken rage, to be 
rightfully his. He had entered her bedroom, rolled her over onto her 
stomach and was raping her anally. Despite her best efforts to remain 
silent by biting the pillow, her occasional whimpers of pain seemed to 
drive him to renewed efforts. He buried himself completely and 
climaxed, then without a word, walked silently from the room.

Kerri spent the rest of the night sobbing, the tears soaking her 
pillow.

CHAPTER EIGHT

She heard him rise early and shower. Just as she had done dozens of 
times with Allan, Kerri pulled the covers over her head, as a child 
would do to ward off the monsters of the night. There simply was no 
defense. She knew he could take her any time and any way he wished. His 
footsteps in the hall grew closer to her door and she trembled, but, 
thankfully, he moved on past and into the kitchen. After a few more 
minutes she heard the front door slam. Kerri waited several minutes to 
make sure he was gone before arising.

Dragging herself to the counter, she fixed tea and tried to eat; but 
her appetite had deserted her. As she sipped the steaming tea her mind 
raced, pondered, questioned.

Was it genetic? Did Kyle inherit an innate desire to hurt and control 
from his father? it would seem so, yet she felt that answer might be 
too easy. Revisiting the feelings of guilt as she always seemed to do, 
she questioned what she had done, or, she thought, was it something she 
hadn't done? Dr. Sizemore had mentioned that teens, perhaps more than 
at any other time in their life, needed the comfort and security of 
loving relationships. But how, she questioned, could she have loved 
Kyle any more? What more could I have given him, she asked herself?

She pushed the obvious solution back into her subconscious and sought 
other answers; but when none presented themselves, she found herself 
letting the idea nibble at her consciousness until she could no longer 
ignore it.

Was the reason Kyle was venting his aggressions toward her sexually, 
that he had wanted, needed her sexually and that was the thing she kept 
denying him? She thought back to the few instances when Kyle had seen 
her in some state of undress. She remembered his reaction, for instance 
the time when, while doing laundry, she had not heard him arrive from 
school. Thinking herself alone, she had slipped off her outfit to add 
to the wash, intending to go straight to the bedroom to dress. Starting 
to leave in bra and panties, she impulsively pulled them off to add to 
the washing as well.

As she walked down the hall, however, Kyle came walking around the 
corner and both were dumbfounded as the totally nude mother was her 
son's center of attention. She had scrambled back into the laundry room 
as quickly as possible muttering an apology. But, she did remember two 
things from that incident. Kyle had made no effort to turn away or 
retreat when he had encountered her and had never offered any apology 
for continuing to stare at her as she retreated. Could he have needed 
her sexually all these years, blaming her for every misfortune, 
drifting away from her emotionally because he had wanted her sexually 
and she, too blind to see it, had denied him?

This is crazy, she thought, shaking her head. That's incest. Rape is 
one thing. Willfully engaging in sex with your son is quite 
another...isn't it? What was she doing now, but engaging in sex with 
her son? He was beating her, humiliating her and then taking her 
anyway. Dr. Sizemore had mentioned that the boy needed a vent for his 
pent-up emotions. Could sex, loving sex, be the release he needed?

The more she tossed it about in her mind the more it made a kind of 
perverted sense. She remembered a couple of other times when she had 
become aware of Kyle looking at her in unprotected moments. Once she 
had spotted him in her vanity mirror looking in from the hall as she 
dressed. Years later, not long before the incident in the park, she had 
awakened from an afternoon nap to find him standing over the bed 
looking down at her. Having removed her dress, she lay only in bra and 
panties. He had immediately provided the excuse that he was looking for 
a missing CD and thought she might have borrowed it, but made no real 
effort to leave until she covered herself with the bedspread.


She shook her head as if to clear the thought away, realizing where 
this line of reasoning was leading. Yet it persisted. If she gave 
herself to him, established a loving sexual relationship with him, was 
it possible she could provide a positive outlet for his emotions? Could 
she, over a period of time, teach him love, compassion, respect? Could 
it be as simple as Kyle needing the love of a good woman?

Of course, she reasoned, she would turn his attention to other women, 
perhaps even back to Susan, as soon as was possible; but first, she 
would have to channel his aggression, give him what he wanted, then 
turn it to love instead of anger and violence.

She paused to contemplate what she was proposing. She was going to give 
herself to her own son sexually, become his willing mistress; or, since 
they were living in the same house, wife, might be a more appropriate 
term. She would burn in hell for what she was going to do, of that she 
had no doubt; but it was a price she was willing to pay for her son's 
redemption.

She would visit the clinic today and get started on birth control 
pills. Another sin, but after what she had decided to do with her son, 
this hardly mattered at all.

CHAPTER NINE

She peeked out the front window to make sure he was alone. Kyle had 
been gone all day affording Kerri the opportunity to do some necessary 
shopping and lay plans. Her heart felt hope for the first time in 
longer than she could remember as she saw the solitary boy, no, she 
thought he was her man now, walking up the front path through the 
enveloping darkness.

As he reached for the handle, Kerri swung open the door to reveal a 
sight which caused the boy to do a double, if not triple take.

Kerri stood before him in a tight fitting satin evening gown. The sides 
were split to her waist showing lots of stocking, while the back was 
simply non- existent, scooping to reveal a couple of inches of cheek 
cleavage. The neck plunged to reveal all but the nipples of her 
breasts. She wore dangling earrings and she had styled her hair in a 
sexy, youthful fashion. Beautiful even without it, Kerri had applied a 
hint of makeup to darken and accentuate her eyes making them mysterious 
and seductive. She even wore a hint of lipstick, something she seldom 
did. Her lips, always prominent, seemed to be pouting her sexuality. 
She was a ravishing and sensual beauty.

"What's going on?" he asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," she smiled, "I just wanted to welcome home the man of the 
house. I fixed T-bones."

He allowed her to lead him to the dining area where she had set the 
table with a single candle in the middle. The other lights were low and 
strains of romantic mood music wafted in the background.

"What is this?" he asked again.

"It's the start of a new relationship, for you and me," she smiled.

He seemed almost speechless so she continued.

"Here, sit down. Let's eat and we can talk."

She served the meal which she knew was his favorite. On their budget, 
meals like this were few and far between. Add the cost of the food to 
that of the outfit she wore and it had cost half a month's wages. It 
didn't matter to Kerri. She would have spent every cent in their bank 
account if she had to. This was perhaps her last chance to save her 
son. She was determined to succeed.

She served wine but was careful to dole it out in small amounts. She 
knew Kyle could simply take it and down the bottle if he wished, but 
she was hoping that she had raised his interest, and, later, perhaps 
something else. He looked up from the steak long enough to ask, "What's 
with this new relationship? If you think you aren't going to put out 
any more..."

"Does it look like I'm dressed not to give you what you want?" she 
dared to interrupt. "Kyle, I've simply come to the realization that 
without meaning to, I've kept from you something you've wanted a long 
time."

"And what might that be?"

"Me," she answered, "I've been stupid not to realize that you need a 
woman; have for a long time. You've become a man with a man's needs and 
desires. I have loved you Kyle, whether you believe that or not; but it 
has been the love of a mother for her son. I realize now that you need 
more than that."

She looked into his eyes as seductively as she knew how.

"You need the love of a woman for her man."

"What are you saying here?" he asked.

She reached across the table, putting her hand on his.

"That I want to be your woman."

She tried to read his expression but she couldn't be sure if his face 
was filled with confusion or doubt.

"What do you mean by that?"

"That I will belong to you, not because you force me, but, because I 
want to, because I will love you Kyle as you've never been loved 
before."

"And is fucking a part of this relationship," he sneered, readying 
himself for the answer he felt he knew would be forthcoming.

"No, Kyle I won't fuck you ever again."

He started to rise from his chair, anger building.

"But I will make love to you anytime you want, in any way you want. 
This body will give you more pleasure than you can imagine," she said 
seductively, " because I will give it willingly and enthusiastically; 
and you won't have to beat or torture or humiliate me to get it."

She obviously had his full attention now as he slid back into his seat.

"I want it from you Kyle, maybe I always have. Maybe I'm the one who I 
have been denying all these years. You're strong and handsome and 
virile."

She saw his hand go to his face. She touched his face lightly, a bit 
surprised when he didn't shrink away.

"You're the most handsome man I've ever known, and, God, what a man you 
are. No one has split me open like you. I've been wet all day thinking 
how good you felt inside me, first the other night, then in the kitchen 
and then last night, ah, yes, last night, you swelling and swelling 
inside of me. I thought I would burst."

He smiled.

"Pretty good, eh?"

"Up until last night, no man had ever taken me there as deeply as you. 
You reached where no one has ever been before."

"Not even Dad? Not even those niggers?"

She let the racial epithet slide for the moment.

"None of them."

"And you'll put out whenever I want?" he queried.

"Whenever and however you want it."

He mused for a few seconds.

"And what's in this for you?"

"I thought that might be obvious," she smiled, "I get the one man in 
the world who can fill my mouth, my nest and my rear until I can't take 
any more."

"And," he added, "no more drinking, no more beatings,..."

"And no more Mark!" she said, smiling, but emphatic.

His face shadowed a bit.

"You mean it didn't excite you to know I was watching him fuck you in 
the mouth and pussy."

"Maybe we can add your salty language to that list, "she said laughing. 
"Of course it excited me to have you watch, but not half as much as 
having you be the one inside me. What I want to give to you, I want to 
give to you alone. From this day forward I want you and only you inside 
my body."

"That's a lot to ask," he said, "I'd really enjoy watching someone poke 
you."

She winced.

"Please," she said, "I'll make it up to you, over and over again. I 
promise."

"And it means that much to you?"

"Yes," she replied, "you don't know how humiliating it was to have to 
show my body to Mark, and then have him violate me like that."

She looked into his eyes.

"Do you know what was the worst of all?"

He shook his head negatively.

"It was knowing that you were enjoying my pain, that you just didn't 
care if I lived or died."

His eyes dropped a bit.

"No, It's okay," she said quickly, "we can put all that behind us and 
start fresh. I only want to see your eyes undress me. I only want to 
feel your hands strip away my clothes. I only want to feel your shaft 
fill me. I only want to feel your love surround me."

He rose and swept her in his arms, dancing to the slow tribal rhythms 
emanating from the stereo.

"So you want something entirely different than before?" he asked 
smiling.

"Yes, my darling Kyle, yes, yes, yes!"

"Then that you shall have," he said, his lips finding hers.

She answered his kiss urgently, opening her mouth to his invading 
tongue. They drank heavily of each other and he clutched her tightly to 
him. She felt his erection; large, hard.

"Oh Kyle," she breathed, "I've wanted you for so long!"

Knowing she was seducing her own son under false pretenses, Kerri also 
knew she had to make it real. One whiff of fakery and the old Kyle 
would reappear instantly. She must will herself to love him, prostitute 
herself to her mission, and most important of all, save her son from 
himself. She would give herself to him completely, honestly and with 
all her heart.

His hand went to her breast. She felt her heart leap as he gently 
switched his hand to the breast which had not been burned. Again their 
lips met and now his hands were behind her, finding and undoing the 
clasps of her dress. At last the final clasp came free and the dress 
slowly, Kerri made sure of that, slid to the floor. She stepped out of 
the folds of the dress and they continued their slow sensual dance. As 
he found the snaps of her bra, she unbuttoned his shirt and the two 
garments fell to the floor simultaneously. He pulled her to him 
tightly, closing his eyes and enjoying the feel of her nipples against 
his chest. Pants, stockings and shoes were sensuously discarded leaving 
the seductress and her son in only panties and briefs.

Their kisses came faster now, with more urgency. Their hands were all 
over each other. At last his fingers found her labial lips. At that 
moment she slipped her hand inside his shorts and grasped his erection.

"Feel how wet I am for you Kyle! Take me to bed! Make love to me!"

He swept her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom which she had 
prepared with incense and more candles. He laid her on her back and 
pressed his body against hers.

As he worked her panties down and off, he discarded his briefs as well.

"I'm ready," she said, her voice husky and full of need.

She spread her legs and opened her arms.

"Come to me Kyle! Bury it in me! Split me open!"

She realized it was her own fault. She had played with the boy, 
building him to a feverish pitch which he simply could not contain. 
Instead of easing into her, he rammed her vagina completely full with a 
single powerful thrust.

She gasped, which only excited him more and his thrusting began at 
breakneck speed.

"Slow down baby, slow down," she implored, "I'll give you all you want. 
Just slow down a bit and enjoy it."

Even as his pace slowed a bit she knew he wasn't far from climax. She 
would receive his seed and, in return, she knew what she must, what she 
wanted to give him in return. There was to be no fakery here. If she 
were to win him over, it would be with true emotion and honest physical 
reaction to his sexuality. She repositioned herself slightly so the 
clitoral stimulation was maximized and immediately her body began to 
respond. She grew even more enthusiastic as her own thrusts grew 
quicker and more urgent, images and sensory replays flashing through 
her mind as she relived the night Kyle had raped her. Had she 
subconsciously wanted him to take her? She knew the answer to that was 
no; but now that she knew what he needed, she would allow her own 
instinctual needs to merge with her son's. She would be his woman in 
every sense of the word. Kerri also knew that Kyle would need to 
eventually find his own loving, caring identity and, at that, point, he 
would be ready to move into a normal relationship with someone else; 
but, until then, she would give him her heart, her body and her very 
soul. She began moaning as her body temperature rose steadily and she 
allowed herself to focus on her own, as well as Kyle's, needs. She 
reached to again experience the moment of ecstasy she had found that 
night four years ago; the warmth, the caring the bond, physical and 
spiritual.

"Yes, yes,yes!" she found herself saying, "More, more, deeper,deeper!"

Kyle's pace quickened again. He was breathing very hard and his body 
was heaving into hers, eliciting grunts and gasps of delight from them 
both.

She felt it build as Kyle's body became rigid, felt the orgasm roll 
over her as a gut wrenching tidal wave of pleasure and release, her 
body and his, lost in uncontrollable ecstasy. She screamed his name as 
he pumped his seed into her again and again and again.

As he lay atop her, both gasping for breath, the thought flashed 
through her mind that the oral contraceptives she had purchased today 
would not take effect for some time. She toyed with the idea of 
conceiving Kyle's child, but concluded while she might be able to 
accept him as a son/husband/father, she was being selfish. A child 
would bind them together permanently, preventing his ever being able to 
establish a life outside of her. For a fleeting second, as she felt his 
shaft begin to grow once more, she thought what it might be like to 
establish a life with Kyle. They could move to a new town, live as man 
and wife. She shook her head slightly as if to dispel the thought. 
There was momentary pain as she realized the enormity of the sin she 
was already committing. The young mother was stunned that she could 
even consider compounding her sins. She must love him, but never 
possess him. She would give to him, love him, teach him; but 
eventually, he must belong to someone else. She knew her heart would 
break to see him walk down the aisle with another, but knew also that 
it must be so. It was he, not she, who had a chance for redemption. Her 
soul was already lost, her life of no consequence She had already gone 
too far, willingly taking her own son to bed, no matter what her 
motives; but Kyle could be forgiven the sins of the father and the 
mother, he could find the life that Kerri had always wanted for 
herself, but was now content to see realized for her son.

As he entered her again, Kerri pulled him to her and lost herself in 
the moment, He would change, she told herself. She would help him find 
his real manhood; that of compassion and caring; but, she also told 
herself, he would need her completely in order to find his way. She was 
committed. She was his.

She pulled him down so she could whisper in his ear the words she knew 
he loved to hear from her.

"Fuck me, Kyle! Fuck me!"

CHAPTER TEN

She awoke, deliciously exhausted, to find him gone, a note on the 
pillow beside her. As she reached for it, she replayed the most 
wonderful night of her life. They had made love several more times with 
Kyle taking her in every loving orifice of her body. Their orgasms had 
been prolonged and multiple. She could still taste his semen. She 
hungered for him again already. It was true, she thought, Kyle 
satisfied her as no man ever had with the exception of Kevin, who 
already possessed the qualities she would strive to teach her son. Kyle 
was huge, she admitted to herself, as she smiled despite the soreness 
she felt in nest and anus. His sexual appetite was enormous. Her body, 
despite the pleasures it would also derive, would be taxed to the limit 
to satisfy him.

How better to wear me out? she thought smiling as she began the note.

I didn't want to wake you. Some of us have school you
know. Today is the first day of our new relationship. You
said you wanted things to be different and so I have
planned an evening you won't forget. We start with my
taking you out to dinner. Six o'clock OK?...and wear
something sexy! Kyle

She smiled, her life filled with hope for the first time in almost 
eighteen years. She was supposed to work the evening shift at the 
store, but she called and managed to trade for a shift later in the 
week. Eventually she and Kyle would have to make some accommodations 
concerning her work schedule, but, for now, she almost felt as if she 
were on the honeymoon she had never had.

She tried to busy herself with housework, the hours dragging by. At 
last she bathed and readied herself for her 'date'. She would wear the 
evening gown again soon. With her budget, she didn't have a lot of 
choice, but for this evening she dug into the closet for something she 
had worn only once, never thought she would have the audacity to wear 
again. Years ago, Allan, for some unfathomable reason, had bought a 
dress for her from Frederick's of Hollywood. It was a form fitting, 
black leather micro- mini that zipped in the front from top to bottom. 
The bottom hem hung just three inches below her crotch and the top had 
built-in lift and separate supports which increased the visual 
appearance of her already ample bust line a full cup size, making a bra 
unnecessary. The cleavage was obscene and the dress clung so tightly to 
her hips that her panty lines showed clearly, even through the leather. 
She decided there would be no panties tonight. She almost giggled to 
think how naughty she was being. Kyle, she was sure, would approve, but 
here she was, trying on a dress which up until yesterday she would 
never have considered wearing. She smiled again as her body snugly 
filled out the leather. It fit as well now as it had the one time she 
had tried it on privately, then hidden it in the back of the closet.

As she stared in the mirror, she was at once mortified to see a thirty-
one year old, a trim and not unattractive thirty-one year old to be 
sure, but a woman/wife/mother dressing in something so provocative. 
Maybe she should go with something a little more conservative. There 
was the pretty green floral dress. She mused for several moments, torn, 
then, her mind made up, she pulled on the black stockings, donned the 
black spike heels and left the room to await her lover. Kyle wanted to 
show her off. That too she hoped to change as time went on, but, for 
now, she would dress for him, give him anything he wanted of her.

Kyle arrived shortly before six. She met him at the door where they 
kissed long and sensuously. He was dressed in sports jacket, slacks and 
tie. How handsome he looked, she thought, ignoring the scar of which 
she was no longer even aware.

He presented her with a rose.

"For the lady of the house!" he smiled.

"Correction," she said, returning his smile coyly, " for the woman of 
the house. Your woman!"

As they kissed again, she guided his hand under the dress and to her 
bare nest.

"And this is for the man of the house, whenever he wants it," she 
breathed in his ear. "You know, we could just stay home and eat here. I 
had something in my mouth last night that tasted wonderful. Maybe I 
could sample that again."

They both laughed.

"Oh I intend to see that that beautiful little mouth gets filled again 
and again," he replied, "but I have the evening all planned, and that 
starts with dinner."

"Oh," she smiled again, "so you have the whole evening planned. And 
just what might those plans be?"

"A surprise."

"A surprise, eh?" she said pulling his hands to her breasts.

"I promise you a night to remember," he stated.

"Then let's get started," she laughed, as she pulled him out the front 
door.

As Kyle drove, Kerri discreetly lifted some bills from her wallet and 
began to slide them across the seat.

'No, no. My treat!" he insisted, pushing the bills back toward her and 
producing a sizable wad of twenties of his own.

Kerri was puzzled. Kyle did odd jobs around the neighborhood to make 
spending money, but he usually spent it as fast as he got it; another 
of his father's habits she would like to change.

"Kyle? Where did you make that kind of money?"

Her heart sank.

"Kyle, you're not doing..."

"Drugs?" No, nothing like that. It's just that when you said you wanted 
to change our relationship, I decided to begin making some real money 
of my own."

"What did you do, rob a bank?"

They both laughed.

"I got inspired to go into business."

He saw she was about to interrupt.

"Now don't worry. It's a business I can run out of our house and won't 
interfere with school. I managed to get this as an advance. Seed money 
I think it's called."

"Tell me about it," she said brightening.

"Later tonight the whole thing will be made crystal clear, but for now 
I just want to say how very hot you look in that dress; even if I can 
see your pussy hair."

Her mouth dropped open as she looked down to discover that the dress 
had scooted up revealing even more than she intended.

"It is called pubic hair," she corrected, laughing off what once would 
have embarrassed her beyond measure.

"And it isn't my pubic hair," she continued pulling his free hand onto 
her nest so he could feel her wetness and heat, " It's your pubic hair 
and everything that goes with it!"

The restaurant was across town, very nice and very expensive. Kerri had 
almost balked feeling they couldn't afford it; but Kyle had insisted, 
assuring her that his new business would begin making money almost 
immediately. She was dying to ask him more about it, but it was 
obviously the surprise, or at least a part of it and she didn't want to 
rush him, spoil it for him.

The dining area was of modest size and the restaurant obviously catered 
to couples out for romantic evenings. Lighting was provided only by the 
single candle at each table which was separated from the others by 
beautifully decorated partitions.The recorded music was unobtrusively 
romantic. Couples here could share a tryst in almost complete privacy.

Kerri ignored the stares as she and Kyle were seated at a secluded 
booth. The outfit might look cheap, but it definitely got attention.

Their waiter, Terry, a student, working his way through college, could 
barely tear his eyes off of her as he took their order, then retreated 
to the kitchen.

"You do turn men on, don't you...?"

She knew he was having trouble with the salutation.

"Kerri," she cooed lovingly, "you earned the right to call me that last 
night. I'm not your mother any longer. I'm your woman now."

"You like turning men on...Kerri?"

"There's only one man I want to turn on," she replied, looking into his 
eyes with affection.

"But with a body like yours, it almost seems a crime not to share it. 
Besides, I love to see mens' eyes when they look at you."

She squirmed a bit uncomfortably.

"For instance," he continued bending over to whisper in her ear, "what 
if you were to..."

Her eyes grew large and round and Kerri emitted a small gasp as she 
listened to what he had in mind.

"No...I couldn't," she stammered.

"Oh come on, please? I promise after tonight I will never ask you 
again."

She looked into his eyes and smiled uncertainly.

"You're sure you won't ask me again?"

"Promise," he pronounced.

She didn't want to disappoint him so early in their new relationship, 
especially when it seemed to mean so much to him. Ordinarily what he 
was asking would be out of the question, outrageous, but, she thought, 
since it didn't involve actual touching and since the restaurant was 
one they might never visit again and since no one would really be hurt, 
perhaps she could humor him this once.

"Oh, all right," she said smiling and bending over so he could again 
whisper in her ear, "tell me what you want me to do and say."

When the waiter returned with drinks, Kerri looked into his eyes 
seductively.

"Terry, does it seem warm in here to you?" she asked leaning over the 
table toward the young man exposing her cleavage.

"Gee, I dunno," he stammered, "would you like me to go check the 
thermostat?"

"Oh I suppose you could do that," she said acting disappointed, "but 
you see, this leather dress is so hot I'm just burning up and I thought 
maybe you could help me cool off."

Again she leaned forward exposing even more cleavage.

The young man was obviously interested, but flustered as well. He 
looked to Kyle, uncertain as what his prerogatives might be.

"I'm just a business associate," said Kyle holding up his hands and 
grinning.

"Wha...what would you like me to do?" the waiter asked.

Kerri winked at him invitingly.

"Why just pucker that little mouth of yours and blow...right here!" she 
said unzipping the first four or five inches of the dress. Every part 
of her breasts, except the actual nipples, were now visible to the boy 
whose mouth was gaping wide open.

He tentatively leaned over, still halfway expecting Kyle to suddenly 
intervene, and began blowing on her breasts.

"Lower, Sweetie, a little lower," said Kerri as she tantalizingly 
pulled the zipper downward.

"Ummm, you are so good at that. Do you give blow jobs like this often?' 
she teased.

He almost choked, reddening from head to toe.

Kyle was smiling broadly as the zipper neared her waist.

"Oooo, yes honey, I'm feeling so much better. Maybe you'd like to check 
on our order?" Kerri asked.

Trying to regain his composure, the young man stammered something and 
quickly left.

Kerri turned to Kyle.

"Enough?" she pleaded.

"No, " he responded, "It's just getting interesting. Come on, play out 
the whole game, just like I told you...Please?"

"Oh, all right," she smiled, realizing it was not altogether unpleasant 
to see the effect she could have on men. Perhaps what she liked best 
was the control she felt. Here, with Kyle to protect her, she could 
play with this man, tease him, keep him dangling and know she could 
walk away when she wanted. This was a feeling she had not only never 
felt before, but one she rather enjoyed as long as no one actually got 
hurt.

She left her dress unzipped to the waist and when the waiter returned 
with their food, she again had him blow air across her breasts, her 
nipples now fully exposed to the unbelieving young man.

After she had again dismissed him, Kerri zipped her dress closed and 
they enjoyed a delicious dinner. She was genuinely beginning to enjoy 
Kyle's company. He was still salty in language, this game he wanted her 
to play was crude, to say the least and he still was not ready to open 
up to her as she had to him; but she was hopeful that with time, she 
would find the Kyle she always felt was there waiting to be discovered.

"Now for the piece de resistance", said Kyle, surprising her with his 
use of the phrase as he saw Terry approaching their table with the 
check.

"Thanks and have a good evening," he said again glancing toward Kerri 
who smiled enticingly.

As he turned to go, Kerri picked up her napkin and threw it into the 
aisle.

"Dear me, I seemed to have dropped my napkin. Terry would you get it 
for me?"

He turned and knelt down to retrieve the napkin. As he did, she swung 
her legs out so that when he looked up he was staring straight up her 
dress. She had hiked the skirt up even higher than it had been in the 
car, spread her legs as far as the dress would allow and so, without 
panties, she knew he could see her nest clearly.

"Like what you see?" she asked.

"You bet!" he responded, grinning broadly.

"Like to do something more than look?"

"Oh man, would I?" he said starting to reach for her leg.

She quickly swung her legs back under the table.

"Then you'll have to talk with my...manager," she said sweetly, 
pointing to Kyle and thinking to herself that they would definitely NOT 
be returning to this restaurant.

"Here's my number," said Kyle reaching a piece of paper to the college 
student. "A blow job is twenty-five. A straight fuck is fifty and 
around the world will cost you a hundred."

Kerri's mouth almost flew open. He had said the game was to pose as 
hooker and pimp, but this seemed to be taking it to graphic extremes.

Kyle placed enough money on the small plate to more than cover the 
bill. He then drew out another twenty and laid it atop the others.

"And, spread the word around!"

Kerri winced visibly. She was glad this was almost over.

"You bet! Thanks. Thanks a lot," said the waiter as he scooped up the 
money and left.

"Enjoy your dinner?" he asked as they prepared to leave.

"The food was delicious, but somehow I don't think that was what you 
were asking about," she said smiling warily.

"No, I suppose it wasn't," he answered.

"And did you enjoy your dinner," she asked

"Immensely!" I do wish you'd reconsider what you said earlier."

"About not doing this kind of thing anymore?"

"Yes."

She saw the look of hopefulness in his eyes. He still had a great need 
to be in control, to pull the strings. Perhaps, she thought, it 
wouldn't hurt to indulge him for a while. She didn't care for the 
vulgar display he had asked of her, but she realized that the road 
guiding him back to a happy and normal life would be a long one. 
Perhaps they could afford to absorb a few bumps along the way, 
especially if they were harmless.

"We'll see," she said as they left the restaurant.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

As Kyle drove, Kerri leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Want to tell me about the surprise?" she asked mischievously.

"That's where we're headed right now."

"And where's might that be?"

"Home." he said.

"Home?" she queried, "The surprise is at home?"

"Sure is," he answered, smiling.

"Now let me see," she began, "this surprise is something to do with 
your new business venture and it's at home?"

"You catch on fast, Sherlock. But, seriously, there is something I need 
to ask you before we get there. "

His voice had become serious. She straightened and looked to his eyes.

"Ask me anything," she said.

"Well, eventually I want to expand and have several people working for 
me. But I have to start small. That's why I want to run the business 
out of our house, at least for a while. "

"Is that all you wanted to ask?" she smiled.

"No there's one more thing. Until I can find the right people, people 
who will really make the business profitable, I need one person to help 
get the business started."

He looked into her eyes.

"You want me? You want me to help you?" she stammered, her heart 
bursting with joy.

"Would you?"

"Oh God, YES!," she cried rejoicing at what she hoped would be a 
breakthrough in their relationship.

She paused.

"But what is this job? Can I handle it? I don't want to disappoint 
you."

"Kerri," he smiled, "you will be a natural for this job."

"Well, what is it? Come on, tell me!" she cried almost bouncing in the 
seat with enthusiasm.

"You'll see when we get home. Right now I think this calls for a 
celebration."

He reached with his free hand under the seat and brought forth a small 
bottle of champagne and a wine glass.

"Let's celebrate!"

"Maybe we should wait until we get home," she offered.

"I'm just too excited to wait," he said, "Go on open it."

She noticed the seal was already broken.

"Looks like someone started celebrating early," she kidded, but also 
noticing that the bottle was still practically full.

"Guilty as charged. I just wanted to make sure it was a good brand."

"Uh huh, sure," she chided, "But there's only one glass."

"I've already had some. Besides, I'm driving remember? But, please, 
drink a toast to my new business, and my new partner."

She smiled as she poured the glass almost full.

"To us!" she smiled, as she took a swallow.

She had to admit, her son had a good taste for wines, as she finished 
the glass and refilled it, sipping at the sparkling beverage.

She stared out the window and began to silently weep as she felt a 
happiness, a joy that already seemed boundless, yet which she knew 
would grow. He would come to love her again, first as a mistress, and 
later, again, as a mother.

"Has it begun to rain?" she asked.

"No, why?"

"Because there's water on my window. I can't see very well."

She turned to look through the windshield. Again everything was blurry. 
She glanced to the instrument panel, now simply indistinct multi-
colored lights.

"I haven't had that much, have I?" she asked somewhat confused. She 
could only remember drinking a couple of glasses of the champagne.

"I think you've had just enough," smiled Kyle self assuredly.

"But I...But I..." now what was it she had intended to say? She shook 
her head as if to clear it, then looked to Kyle, his features out of 
focus. He glanced over at her and smiled again.

"Don't worry, we'll be home before long, then I'll show you all about 
our business venture."

Business venture, she thought? Oh, yes, Kyle...new...business. She was 
having trouble now focusing on a train of thought. Her world had 
suddenly gone soft and fuzzy. She was having to fight through a heavy 
fog to capture thoughts, ideas.

"I...don't...something...wrong," was all she could utter as the haze 
thickened, her tongue seemed swollen and speech became difficult.

"...Doctor," she managed to mumble.

"You don't need a doctor, Kerri, he said, his voice suddenly cold and 
unforgiving as before, "What you need is a good fuck!"

The drug had now robbed her of any formal thought patterns. Words came 
in isolation, as echoes.

"Yes...Kerri...home...fuck...business, " she stammered, trying to make 
sense of the words she had just uttered.

"Ah, you spoiled the surprise," he said sarcastically, "You figured it 
out by yourself."

She could hear his voice but she was now so disoriented that she could 
comprehend only a word or two. As the car pulled into the driveway, 
Kerri could vaguely distinguish the house lights and figures moving 
inside.

"Leave...lights... on? she tried to say, her speech now slurred almost 
beyond intelligibility.

"Get out," commanded Kyle.

She looked to him as in a drunken stupor, her eyes crossing, a stupid 
smile on her face.

"Kyle?...zatttt...you?"

"Out!' he demanded.

She reached for the door handle not remembering why, but missed.

"Stupid bitch!" he cried, getting out, coming around and opening her 
door from the outside.

She had been leaning against the door, so when it was opened she nearly 
fell headlong onto the driveway. Cursing, Kyle caught her and pulled 
her to her feet.

"...Home?" she asked, looking at the house as if she had never seen it 
before.

"Yeah, home bitch! Home to get my business started."

She had to lean heavily against him as they made their way to the front 
door. Her eyes refused to focus, her thoughts now totally random, she 
looked up and smiled without comprehension at her son as he reached for 
the door handle.

"...Home...Kerri...Fuck." she managed to slur.

"You got that right!" he said opening the door and shoving her in ahead 
of him.

"There had been loud talking and laughter until Kyle had forced Kerri's 
entrance. A silence fell as thirty-seven pairs of eyes fell on the 
voluptuous figure swaying in front of them.

"Kerri, " smiled Kyle, motioning to the array of young men who now 
crowded closer to get a better look, "I'd like you to meet the Crawford 
College Varsity Football team."

She could make out outlines, but the world was spinning, her eyes 
refused to focus, even as they drew closer. She stood there dumbly, 
unable to speak coherently.

"Foot...ballllll?" she said wondering what the words meant.

"All right guys," said Kyle, as hands reached into wallets for large 
denomination bills, "just as advertised: A slut with a killer body 
who's stoned out of her mind and will remember nothing in the morning. 
And she just loves to fuck! Don't you Kerri?"

She looked in his general direction, seeing nothing, swayed a bit then 
turned back to the ogling men.

"...Home...Kerri...fuck," were the only words she could enunciate.

There was raucous laughter all around.

"Now who wants a piece of her?" Kyle shouted, as the bills began 
filling his hands.

Stuffing the large wad of bills in his pocket, Kyle looked to the 
leering men.

"She'll do anything you want, absolutely ANYTHING," he laughed 
sardonically, "and she's all yours!"

Kerri sensed more than saw that the men were crowding around her. Hands 
reached from behind fondling her breasts. Another grabbed her rear, 
squeezing painfully.

Her mind was completely wiped. She had no idea where she was, even who 
she was. She looked down without any comprehension as hands groped her 
body. She felt nothing as a hand pulled down the dress length zipper. 
There were ooos and ahhhs as the dress felt away revealing her full 
nudity except for stockings and shoes.

Her words were virtually unintelligible as she was lead over to two 
black men. Both were well over six feet and muscled throughout their 
bodies. She saw the two huge erections waiting to impale her. She had 
seen things like this before, but she couldn't remember where or why. A 
fleeting image of Kyle flashed through her consciousness. Somewhere 
within her was a weakening, fading voice trying to tell her this was 
wrong; that she shouldn't be doing... what? What was she doing? Kyle 
was here, wasn't he? It was okay. She was home. Home? With Kyle? Yes, 
he was here. She turned looking for him, couldn't find him. But they 
were home, home to make love. So it was all right. Wasn't it? Thoughts 
raced through her mind with kaleidoscopic rapidity and disjuncture.

"...Hommmm..." she slurred as she was positioned, standing between the 
two physical giants.

"...Kerrrrr...ii..." she babbled as their strong arms lifted her off 
the floor to position her nest and anus at the right height.

"...Fuuuuckk..." was the last word she uttered before emitting a 
piercing scream as she was entered simultaneously in vagina and anus. 
The drug fogged her mind and impeded her physical coordination but it 
did nothing to block the pain as both shafts ripped her open, burying 
themselves completely by the second thrust.

The name came from somewhere in the hidden alcoves of her drug crazed 
mind. The name, a snapshot image, a recaptured moment of love, caring 
compassion, protection.

"KEVIN!" she screamed, and fainted as her body shook with the powerful 
jack hammer blows of the mens' thrusts.

CHAPTER TWELVE

In her feverish nightmare, Kerri was pregnant and in labor. Her swollen 
belly and uterus were racked with pain as she pushed again and again to 
bring forth what was much too large for her petite body. She had almost 
died birthing Kyle via natural childbirth. The physician had tried to 
get her to consent to a C-section but she had insisted; a decision 
which had almost cost her her life. She now struggled frantically to 
expel the fetus which was, in her mind, one moment boy, the next girl, 
the next demon.

Her eyes fluttered open. The morning sunlight from the front window was 
blinding, her head ached from the drug hangover, her thoughts 
disheveled, partially amnesiac. The one thing on which she was clearly 
focused however was that the pain of her nightmare was real. Lying 
naked on the floor, her legs spread, knees lifted, she looked down to 
see that indeed her stomach was distended, she was cramping badly and 
her uterus was full and resisting her efforts to deliver. Someone had 
placed a mirror against the footstool in front of her, obviously so she 
could watch the 'birth'. Pains lanced through her as she again pushed 
and, unbelievably, she saw in the mirror her vaginal lips fold back and 
something brown and rounded begin to slowly emerge. Her grunts were 
loud and prolonged as she again pushed with all her might, exhausted 
though she was. She was sweating profusely from her entire body. The 
ordeal was weakening her. Her eyes watered as sweat rolled from her 
forehead making it hard to see. The pains were robbing her of strength 
and courage. Her mind, still cloudy, could comprehend only the pain and 
the immediate need to deliver. Through the cramping she pushed again 
and saw yet more emerge. Exhausted, bewildered, pain racked, she kept 
bearing down as her ordeal continued.

To add to her bewildered state, her bowels voided themselves, but the 
matter expelled was almost white. There was no time to ponder this 
puzzle however as the pain bore through her like a drill.

It was coming steadily now but, in her confused and pain racked state, 
she was horrified as she reached down and her fingers went around it. 
No head, no appendages just a very firm, smooth cylindrical 'body'. Oh 
God, she thought, what is happening to me? Images from the past few 
days began darting through her confused mind. She was crying now, the 
pain intensifying as visions of a baby, horribly deformed, mixed with 
those of rape and torture, played repeatedly in front of her pain 
racked eyes.

More than six inches now protruded from her stretched vagina. She 
wasn't sure how much more she could take, but the distention in her 
stomach was lessening considerably and her uterus felt less pressure 
than before. Another inch. Another painful push.

She was close now, she could feel the end nearing. A last frantic push 
and it slid from her onto the floor.

Exhausted, the cramping still severe, she lay gasping for breath, ready 
to accept the blessed relief of unconsciousness, but even that was 
denied her. I Must see, she repeated over and over as she managed to 
roll over and examine the instrument of her torture. On the floor 
between her legs lay a four and one half pound salami. Over fourteen 
inches long and approaching three inches in diameter it was of 
monstrous size to have been completely enwombed in her.

She sobbed as she began to capture some images from the night before. 
She couldn't seem to recall details, but, felt as much as knew, she had 
been gang raped.

This was no doubt someone's idea of a final cruel joke. She started to 
look away, but a string protruding from the salami caught her eye. 
Getting her breath at last, she examined the offending object more 
closely. The salami had been cored, something rolled up and place 
inside and the core replaced with the string hanging out to afford a 
means to extract the contents. She pulled and momentarily some rolled 
stationery was laying in her hands.

The cramping was easing, but her body was sore and ached in every joint 
and muscle. Her rear burned and she felt a continual need to move her 
bowels and there was an all too familiar taste in her mouth, her jaws 
sore, her lips almost raw. Her body was screaming at her, telling her 
how badly it had been abused. How badly, she was about to learn.

Noticing writing, she unrolled the stationery and began reading the 
note:

Dear Kerri,
Since you were sort of in and out of things last
night, we videotaped the entire evening so you can
watch it and enjoy your performance as much as we did.
The tape is already in the VCR and ready for you to
watch.
We all wanted you to know what a hell of a fuck you
are, so Kyle suggested we leave you this note too.
We'd like to recount the highlights of last night for
you.
When you took the standing Oreo cookie fuck from
Joe and Mike everybody got a big kick out of it,
especially when they traded places and did it again.
She winced remembering bits and pieces, sickened already.
You liked it doggy style and took it in the pussy from
behind like a real pro. Of course our favorite
position was for one guy to lie on his back and set
you down astride him so he could fill your pussy. Then
we'd bend you forward so you could take a cock in your
mouth while a third guy reamed your ass. There were a
lot of these 'triples'. The way you screamed when the
third guy filled your ass, if we didn't know better,
we might have thought you weren't enjoying yourself.

Her mouth dropped open in amazement. Could this be true? Could this 
really have happened? See crawled to the TV, turned it on and pushed 
play on the VCR remote. She cringed as she saw the laughing men unzip 
her dress and move her to the two stallions who sandwiched her between 
them as they pounded her in nest and anus. The scene then jumped to a 
shot of her atop a red headed man, his shaft plainly visible moving in 
and out of her. She gasped, as she was pushed forward and just as the 
note described, took another penis in her mouth while a third man stood 
astraddle her and filled her anus in only two powerful strokes. She 
watched in horrified fascination as the three men climaxed. She was 
then literally lifted off the redhead and placed astride a curly headed 
Latino and the process repeated itself. It was evident on the tape that 
she was drugged, looking almost unconscious at times and at others 
babbling incoherently but it did nothing to lessen the pain in her 
heart as the memory came flooding back of Kyle's betrayal.

Sickened, she pushed the stop button and lay back.

Then I am a whore, she thought. Instead of my redeeming him, he has 
corrupted me. No, I have corrupted myself and now I am a slut who has 
traded her body for money. It didn't matter that it was Kyle who had 
set it up, Kyle who had tricked and drugged her, Kyle who had stood by 
and laughed as she was defiled again and again. As she had always done, 
Kerri blamed herself, feeling she should have, somehow, not been 
deceived by Kyle's ruse, should have resisted the effects of the drug, 
resisted her attackers.

Almost as a criminal has the evidence of his crimes presented at trial, 
or, perhaps more appropriately as Saint Peter might read aloud the sins 
of the sinner on judgment day, Kerri picked up the note and continued:

Perhaps the highlight of the evening was when we
decided to set a new team record. The old record
was held by a cheerleader who got the whole team
off in twelve minutes and thirty two seconds. So we
threw you over the stuffed chair and formed a line. As
soon as one guy came in your cunt or your ass, the
next guy stepped up and took his turn. You'll be
pleased to know that with your tight little ass and
pussy all thirty-seven of us got off in you with
seventeen seconds to spare.

Kerri shuttered but kept reading.

All of us were pleased with the special deal Kyle made
to us. We each paid him fifty dollars for you. He told
us, however, that every guy who could cum in you
mouth, cunt and ass during the evening would get a ten
dollar refund. I am pleased to inform you that every
member of the team received his discount. Let's see,
doing a little math means that you are waking up this
morning with one hundred eleven orgasms worth of sperm
in you.
Of course, the actual number is a little higher since
there were a few of us who dumped a fourth load in
you.

Tears streamed down her cheeks and the sobs were many before she could 
continue.

We're afraid your coffee table is probably still a bit
damp. When we had you stand up there and urinate
for us, it got pretty wet. Your bed is also
somewhat of a mess because that's where we gave you
the enemas. We don't mind telling you that as small as
your body is, it can hold an amazing amount of water.
Of course, when you can't hold it any longer and
let go, you put on quite a show. We'd suggest you
watch that part of the video. We all enjoyed the way
you whimpered and begged. The tears were a nice touch
too.

At that moment, the pain in Kerri's heart far exceeded those still 
racking her body.

Since you are reading this letter you have obviously
already 'given birth'. We hope your delivery was
easier than it was last night. Our only problem was
'impregnating' you. That little hole of yours just
didn't seem to want that 'baby', so it took two of
using a ball bat as a tamper to get it into you. Your
belly got big and you began going into 'labor'
immediately. It was really amazing to see something
that big emerge from a cunt so small. I saw the video
of my sister giving birth and she didn't scream nearly
as much as you. The second time we had you stand on
the table to deliver. Just as you became a proud
'momma' for the second time is when you fainted.

My God, she thought, is there nothing they wouldn't do?

Leaving you 'pregnant' was Kyle's idea. He wanted to
stuff another one up your rear, but no matter how hard
we tried it just wouldn't fit so we used three bananas
instead.
As we write this, it's about 4:00 am which means
you're had a cock in your mouth, pussy or ass
continuously for about seven hours.
We'd all like to tell you what a hell of a party girl
and what a great fuck you are. Our divisional
championship game is next week. Kyle said if we win,
we can have you again for half price. All of us are
really looking forward to it. But even if we lose,
you're still worth the fifty bucks.

So this is what I have become, she thought, a fifty dollar hooker. Just 
days ago I was a mother trying to help her son and now I'm an 
incestuous whore, the rest of whose life is to be spent bed hopping and 
satisfying sexual perversions for money. Tears returned to her eyes, 
her heart breaking as she finished the note.

P.S. Don't know who Kevin is, but he must be one
hell of a stud. You shouted out his name several
times last night even after we had all had you for
the third time.

Her thoughts went back to the handsome young black man who had been the 
only person who had ever treated her with kindness. The only man with 
whom she might have been able to build a true, loving relationship. The 
only man with whom she might have been happy. And what had she done? 
Walked away. She could have left Allan then instead of waiting for him 
to walk out on her. Or she could have tried to find Kevin after the 
divorce was finalized, yet she had not. She had focused her attention 
entirely on her troubled son and, as it turned out, spoiled any chance 
she ever had for happiness while somehow turning him to evil. And now 
she had whored herself first to Kyle and now to others.

Self vilification was something at which Kerri was quite good.
I am a prostitute and my son is my pimp; I can go no lower, she cried 
to herself. She railed at herself for her failures, most of all for 
believing that Kyle could change, yet knowing that if he walked in the 
door this very minute and asked for forgiveness, she would grant it in 
a heartbeat. She could tell herself that she was continually setting 
herself up for disappointment, taking the wrong fork in the road, 
making herself vulnerable to those who would take advantage, but she 
never seemed to learn. Her motives mattered not to her. She had taken 
this path, slept with her own son, allowed him to prostitute her. What 
was left for her except to accept her fate, do as he wished. Her life 
was a shambles, ruined. There was no longer any hope.

She cried herself back to sleep.

She awoke, hours later, to the slamming of the front door. Kyle walked 
in, a smirk on his face. She sought to cover her nakedness but there 
was nothing.

"God, you look terrible!" he said sneering, "have a hard night?"

She tried to meet his eyes, couldn't.

"Get yourself and this place cleaned up. I can't have my girls looking 
anything but ready to fuck."

"Girls?" she asked almost inaudibly.

"Yeah," he smiled, "I'm expanding. Got a date with Susan tonight. When 
I screw her like I did you, I'll be doubling my profits in no time."

"My God, Kyle, no!" she managed.

His threatening backhand silenced her.

"She hasn't got your looks or body," he mused, "but she's younger. 
Besides," he said looking down to Kerri's vagina which although 
beginning to contract was still quite distended, "maybe she won't wear 
out as fast."

Her voice was weak, pleading.

"Kyle, I can't do this any more."

"WHAT?" he screamed so loud she winced. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"I...I can't do this..."

He was on her in an instant, one hand at her throat the other yanking 
her hair painfully.

"Listen bitch, you aren't gonna spoil this for me now! You're gonna do 
what I tell you to do, when I tell you to do it. You got that?"

Before she could even begin to reply. he slapped her three times and 
increased the choke hold, tightening until her face turned bright red, 
her air completely cut off.

"I SAID YOU GOT THAT?" he screamed.

Her eyes watering, unable to emit any sound except gurgling, her eyes 
wide with fear, she nodded her head in the affirmative.

"That's better," he said, releasing her, "Now I don't ever want to hear 
anything from you again except; who's my John, do I give him a blow 
job, fuck him or take him around the world and how much should I 
charge? Understand?"

Somehow, in some way, she had, up to this point, still harbored a small 
spark of hope that last night had been a bad dream and she would awaken 
in Kyle's loving arms. That spark had now been extinguished as she 
realized that this world of debauchery and hate was the real one; this 
was not only what her life had become, it was what her life was to be 
from now on.

Her "Yes," was weak, the reply of defeat, submission and hopelessness.

"Oh, and by the way," he said turning back to her as he was about to 
leave, "the cops cruised by the house last night. Apparently you were 
more of a party girl than we thought and things got a bit rowdy, so 
we're gonna cool it here at the house for a few days."

He tore a page from a small tablet he had taken from his pocket and 
placed it in the drawer of an end table.

"But there's a computer convention in town, over at the Billings Hotel. 
I've lined you up some customers for Saturday night. The room numbers 
are on this slip. So far I've got you working four different rooms. 
Maybe we can add another room or two by Saturday. Anyway the first is 
at seven o'clock. Knock three times and tell them Kyle sent you. Get 
the money up front; a hundred each."

He looked at her with scorn.

"And Kerri, you better give 'em everything they want. When you leave 
that room I want them to say they've been fucked, but I want them to 
say it with a smile on their face. Understand?"

She nodded, too heartbroken to utter a reply.

"And wear something a little less obvious than that leather outfit. It 
shows you off real well and you can wear it other places, especially 
when we want to advertise the fact that you're a whore."

She winced.

"But I don't want you to be stopped in the lobby by hotel security. So 
wear something that's sexy, but covers up a little bit more of the 
merchandise."

He scanned her naked body.

"Now go clean yourself up. I may want a little dessert after I break in 
Susan. Oh, and I went by the store today. Told them you quit. Told them 
you were going into business with me. They all seemed pleased. Even got 
a little severance check," he said, holding it up and then putting it 
in his pocket. "I'll keep this. Everything belongs to me now anyway."

He turned to leave.

"Did the last two days mean nothing to you?" she asked quietly, 
desperately.

He turned.

"You mean that crock about starting a new relationship, about your 
being my woman?

He laughed.

"You thought you could sucker me with that bunch of lies."

"They weren't lies," she said quietly.

"That's crap," he said, "You're never really cared about me."

"That's not true, Kyle. I loved you. I still love you. I'm your mother. 
I realize now it was a mistake, but I gave myself to you, was willing 
to share my bed with you because I thought it was what you needed."

"Oh come on! You just didn't get enough the first time I fucked you and 
since there wasn't any big black meat around, you decided to fuck 
whatever was handy, including your own son."

"Kyle, I..."

"You're a whore, mother. You're a whore now, you've always been a whore 
and you'll always be a whore! Accept it. I have. Why do you think I 
took you out to dinner? It was advertising. The phone number I gave to 
the waiter? You thought it was a phony, but it was real. I bought a 
cell phone. I wanted to get the word around. And by the way, you played 
your part perfectly. It comes so naturally to you, doesn't it mother?"

She was devastated.

"Then you had no real feelings toward me at all?" she sobbed

"Oh I had feelings all right. The satisfaction of scamming you into 
believing you meant anything more to me than a good fuck. By the way 
mother, you are a good fuck.
My feelings? I detest you! You screwed around on Dad for years and you 
wanted it that night in the park and nothing you can ever say will make 
me think otherwise. You wanted them to fuck your brains out. You 
couldn't get enough!"

"But..."

"Then you let 'em breed you!"

"Kyle I couldn't help..."

"Don't tell me you couldn't help it. I saw the way you fucked that 
first one. How you begged him to breed you!"

She had no reply. Kevin had been different. From the moment their eyes 
met there had been something indefinable that touched them both. She 
could not deny that she had wound up giving herself to him willingly. 
And though, she had been told to say the words, she was not altogether 
unhappy to receive his seed, later hoping it was his child.

"Then you stood there and let them cut me!"

"No, I..."

"Do you know what it feels like to be laughed at because of the way you 
look; having a face that no good looking girl wants to get near? And 
all that crap the other night about how handsome I looked."

"I meant that. I..."

He sneered.

"Then you told Dad you were going to keep the nigger's baby. So he 
left. What did you expect him to do?. He left his nigger fucking wife 
and me as well and it's your fault. It's all your fault!"

Her mouth was open, but what could she say? She dropped her eyes in 
silence.

"So you want feeling? I'll tell you exactly how I feel. You're my 
whore! You've gonna put out for me whenever I want and you're gonna put 
out for whoever I sell your services to! No more of this relationship 
crap. You just get your clothes off and your legs spread when I say so. 
That's all the relationship you and I are ever going to have."

With that he turned and left, slamming the front door behind him.

Her heart broken, the tears were unceasing as she wearily drew the 
water for a bath.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

As darkness approached, Kerri willed herself to put on a full length 
silk nightgown. She wore nothing underneath as she knew Kyle would want 
easy access to her if he came home in the mood.

She tried not to cry. Kyle would not look kindly on swollen eyes. But, 
as she came to realize that his actions in the last two days had not 
been drunken rampages but rather coldly calculated rage, all directed 
toward her, huge drops ran down her cheeks and periodically her body 
would shake uncontrollably as she sobbed.

She had never met the girl Susan but she worried for her. No one 
deserved the fate which she herself had suffered. Yet, if she called 
the girl, it would probably mean the police, maybe even Kyle being 
arrested. And when he was finally released, as he eventually would be, 
it would be easy for him to figure out who had alerted Susan. Kerri 
would become his punching bag once again. but, apparently rapings and 
beatings were to become a normal part of her new life anyway.

And no one deserves a life like this, she thought, reaching for the 
phone.

Before she could pick it up, however, the doorbell rang.

Throwing on a robe, she opened the door a crack.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Police, ma'am," said one of the two uniformed officers. "Are you Mrs. 
Akers? Mrs. Kerri Akers?"

"Yes, what is it officers?" she said wondering if they had somehow 
found out and come to arrest her for prostitution.

"Could we come in?"

"Yes. Yes, or course," she said swinging the door open and admitting 
them into the small front hall.

"Ma'am, I'm afraid we have some bad news, some very bad news."

"It's Kyle isn't it?" she cried, her heart already in sympathy with the 
young man who had defiled and prostituted her.

"Yes Ma'am. There's been a shooting."

"Is he all right? Is he hurt?" she asked urgently her heart in her 
throat.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry. Your son is dead."

The reality hit her like a sledge. The last single vestige of a reason 
to live had, in that handful of words, been taken from her. He was 
gone. The one small light that remained in her life. Despite his 
actions and words, he was her son. He was of her body and carried in 
him, a part of her, a part that could yet have achieved, at least, some 
measure of a life of value and meaning.

And he was gone. Now, there was...nothing.

The officers reached for her as she fainted.

When she came to on the couch, the older officer explained that a girl 
by the name of Susan Tilman claimed Kyle had driven her to an abandoned 
warehouse, beaten and then tried to rape her. A security guard had 
discovered them, but Kyle, instead of surrendering had charged the 
guard who had shot twice, one of the bullets striking home. He was dead 
before the paramedics even arrived.

Her eyes were open but unseeing as they tried for over an hour to give 
her some degree of comfort. Finally, satisfied she was all right, they 
had departed promising to look in on her again in the morning.

Nothing mattered. She felt nothing. This was all there was. This was 
the end.

Despite what had once been strong religious beliefs, she walked 
unseeing into the kitchen, got the bottle of wine she had bought two 
days ago for another romantic dinner with Kyle. Kyle? Oh, yes, her dead 
son whom she would never see again. Her next stop was the bathroom 
where she rummaged through the medicine chest until she found the 
prescription sleeping pills.

Upending the bottle she drank over half without stopping, poured the 
contents of the medicine bottle into her mouth and proceeded to empty 
the wine bottle the same way she had started. She hoped there were 
enough pills and that they would work rapidly. She decided to lie down 
on the bed and simply drift into a never waking slumber, but Kerri had 
eaten nothing the entire day and as she neared the bedroom her stomach 
began an uncontrollable heaving. The last thing she remembered before 
blacking out was the taste of vomit.

She awoke with a splitting headache and foul taste in her mouth. She 
eyed the vomited pills beside her. Obviously she kept down only enough 
to make her sleep.

She smiled self deprecatingly.

I can't even do this right, she thought as the doorbell rang.

Wrapping the robe around her, she discovered it was the two patrolmen 
checking back as they had promised. She assured them she was all right 
and they left. Realizing how selfish she had been last night, Kerri 
called the funeral home to make arrangements. Her son would get a 
decent burial. They agreed that, with no other family or friends to 
consider, she hadn't heard from Allan since he had left and had no idea 
how to contact him, the service would be held the following day; a 
simple, quiet ceremony.

This she would get through. After that, she simply didn't care.

There were only a handful of people at the service. She saw Mark 
sitting with some other boys who she reasoned must be more of Kyle's 
classmates. But the looks they gave her were not those of condolences. 
They leered and even snickered a time or two before the service began.

It was as promised, short and respectful. Once again she had to endure 
the ogling of the teenagers as she left. She tried to ignore the 
stares, but twice found herself checking her modest black dress as a 
sudden flashback would leave her feeling naked, exposed, vulnerable.

At home she was lost. She had cried until there were simply no more 
tears to give. Nothing mattered now. She sat alone, wanting to die.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The next couple of days passed in a fog of despair. She moved about the 
house mechanically, eating virtually nothing. On Saturday afternoon she 
finally, somehow, found the inclination to bathe. She was just climbing 
out of the tub when she heard the doorbell. Wrapping herself in a heavy 
terry cloth robe, she answered the door.

She opened it to find Mark and four of his companions at her front 
stoop. Kerri thought she recognized them from the funeral service. She 
hadn't appreciated their actions at the service and she certainly did 
not appreciate the way they were ogling her now as they stood smiling, 
all too knowing smiles.

"Mrs. Akers, these are some friends of mine," said Mark.

She nodded uncomfortably.

"And what can I do for you?" she said.

"Oh, I think you know very well what you can do for us," said Mark as 
they pushed their way in, closing the door behind them.

"Get out! All of you!" she said with as much resolution as she could 
muster.

"Now wait a minute," said Mark, "I know it's only been a couple of 
days, but Kyle told us you were getting paid for it now and we've got 
money, see?"

They each pulled out a ten dollar bill.

"Get out of my house!" she said emphatically.

"Now look, we can get more..."

"No, just get out!" she cried.

Mark reached over and pulled her robe partly open before she could 
close it again.

"The least you can do is give us a little show. How about it Mrs. 
Akers, show us your pussy. Hell, it's all over town what a whore you 
are."

She slapped him, but instead of having the intended effect, he only 
smiled.

"Kyle told me you like it rough sometimes."

The blow caught her across the face knocking her off balance. Before 
she could recover, the boys were on her, ripping off the robe and 
throwing her to the floor. She was spread eagled, a boy holding each 
arm and leg.

"Looks like I get firsts," said Mark, dropping his pants and holding 
his bulging erection.

"Look," she cried, "I'm sorry I slapped you. Okay? Just leave now and 
we can forget this ever happened."

"Now why would we want to do that?" he laughed.

They must have all thought about her screaming at the same time as two 
hands covered her mouth as the first shriek was starting. They quickly 
stuffed a table doily in her mouth and tied it with a handkerchief.

"Come on, quit squirming. You've had this in you before," he said, 
slapping her twice.

He entered her unceremoniously and began thrusting. Determined to give 
him as little satisfaction as possible, she lay still and lifeless.

"You can do better than that," he chided, grabbing her breast and 
squeezing painfully. He produced a butane cigarette lighter and flicked 
the flame to life. Drawing it closer to her breast, he pronounced her 
option.

"You can hump me or..."

The flame began singeing her nipple. Kerri began meeting his thrusts 
with thrusts of her own.

"Better," he said, " Don't fight it, just enjoy it."

Yes, she thought to herself. Why fight what I was meant to be. Everyone 
thinks I'm a whore. I fucked eight black men, I fucked my own son. I 
fucked an entire football team for money. I even fucked this adolescent 
pervert. Kyle was right. I am nothing more than a whore and never will 
be.

As each boy climaxed and the next took his turn mounting her, the boys 
noticed that though she showed no real enthusiasm, she no longer 
struggled. They even let loose her arms and legs and removed the gag. 
She didn't resist, but she did close her eyes which couldn't hold back 
the tears.

After the fifth boy climaxed in her, they all stood up and looked at 
the beautiful nude woman. Each placed a ten dollar bill beside her and 
they started to leave.

"Oh yeah," said Mark, unbuckling his pants again, "I just remembered. I 
get a bonus 'cause last time I was here you begged me to fuck you in 
the ass."

They rolled her over on all fours with her head to the floor, while the 
teen spread her cheeks wide with his hands and entered her in three 
painful thrusts. He soon orgasmed again and quickly dressed.

"Kyle was right, your ass is a lot tighter. I'd charge more for that if 
I were you," he suggested, smiling as they began filing out.

As the last boy, the tall one was ready to exit, he turned to her.

"Hey lady, how much to take it up your ass?"

She looked at him but there was no expression, nothing in her eyes.

He shrugged and closed the door behind him.

And now, she thought, I'm just a ten dollar whore.

But just as suddenly, she knew what she would do, had been destined to 
do all along and simply had refused to accept up until this very 
moment. She reached in the drawer of the end table and withdrew the 
slip of paper Kyle had left for her, noting the hotel room numbers and 
times. This was his legacy to her. She would at last fulfill that 
legacy. She would give Kyle what he wanted. Tonight, she would commit 
herself, she would initiate her new life. Tonight, for the first time, 
she would willingly give her body to men in exchange for money. Tonight 
she would become a prostitute. Tonight she would become Kyle's whore.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Kerri wasn't sure whether prostitutes were supposed to be on time or 
fashionably late. She glanced at the clock in the lobby. 7:05 pm. 
Resignedly, she walked across the lobby and entered the elevator. As 
the doors closed, she checked the slip of paper in her purse again and 
pushed the correct floor. She rode in silence, there being no 
enthusiasm in either her posture or expression. She wore a simple 
floral print dress which showed lots of leg without being tasteless. 
Exiting, she forced one foot in front of the other until, at last, she 
stood outside the correct door. Starting once, hesitating, then finally 
mustering the determination, she rapped timidly three times.

A man's deep voice answered.

'Yes?"

To speak his name still made her heart ache.

"Kyle, sent me," she said, not really sure she had been heard.

The door opened slowly to reveal a man perhaps fifteen years her 
senior, trim and handsome in a rugged sort of way, graying around the 
temples. His face and arms were weathered. The eyes were bright but 
seemed to reflect a life of hardship and pain. The belt around his fit 
waist was wide, the buckle large with etchings of Native American 
symbols. His large mustache reminded her of town Marshals in western 
movies.

"Well," he said smiling kindly, "they grow 'em kind of short here don't 
they? Pretty though. Real pretty. Come on in."

She stepped into the room tentatively and shuddered slightly when she 
heard the door close behind her. The room was like a thousand others, 
bed, table chair and bath. An opened newspaper lay on the table, a 
suitcase on the floor of the open closet.

"Name's Jake," he said and smiled.

"Hello Jake," she answered wondering whether she should use her right 
name, or any name at all.

"Drink?" he asked motioning to a bottle on the bathroom counter which 
she had not noticed.

She toyed with the idea. Maybe a drink or two would help get her 
through this first time, but she also remembered how vulnerable that 
could make her.

"No thanks, but you go ahead."

"Nope," he said, "it just doesn't seem to do for me what it used to."

They stood facing each other. Her hands hung awkwardly at her side. She 
thought he looked expectant.

So this is it, she thought, a little chit chat, get drunk if you want 
and spread your legs. Slowly she reached behind her to unhook her 
dress.

"You're sort of new at this, aren't you?" he said kindly.

"Is it really that evident?"

"Well, you seem nervous and you were about to break the cardinal rule 
of your profession."

"Oh?" she replied.

"Always discuss business before you get down to business."

"I don't..."

"Whoa," he said, his eyes widening a bit as he interrupted. "This is 
your first time as a pro, isn't it?"

Her eyes dropped as she nodded.

"Here. Sit," he said motioning to the bed while he pulled the chair 
around backward and seated himself.

"Missy, I can tell you're no teenager, but you're still young and 
beautiful. You have a lot of life ahead of you. Are you sure this is 
what you want to do?"

She smiled ruefully.

"Maybe it's what I was meant to be."

"We're all meant to be what we make of ourselves."

"I've made a lot of mistakes, Jake. A lot of them I can't take back."

"Oh, so you're the only one who's ever made mistakes?"

"Far too many and ones for which I can never be forgiven."

"Missy, I've seen a few sunrises and sunsets in my time. My experience 
has been that the hardest person to get to forgive you, is yourself. "

"Who are you Jake? You don't look like a computer person."

"Oh, the convention? Naw, I'm a cattle rancher. Got a small spread out 
in Wyoming."

"Then?"

"What am I doing here? I've come to see my son. He performs with the 
symphony orchestra. Got a concert tomorrow. I'm gonna see him play, 
then see if the two of us can talk. You see, a few years ago, when my 
wife died I let my grief stand in the way of my relationship with my 
son. I sort of withdrew; cut myself off from him. Didn't realize it at 
the time. I'd always wanted him to take over the place and be a rancher 
too, but I drove him away. So, he left and came East. Made a life for 
himself here now. Music. I let him go, wouldn't visit him. Pride I 
guess."

"And you've come to ask him to come back to Wyoming?"

"Oh no. He's got a life here now. Of course nothing would make me 
happier than to see him take up where I leave off, but I just want to 
make things right between us. If I've learned anything at all, it's 
that money, land; they don't mean a damn. It's the people in your life 
and what you carry in here," he said tapping his chest over his heart.

"Why now? What changed your mind?" she asked.

"Cancer. Docs say I've got about six months. I want to spend as much of 
that time with Jody as I can; let him know I love him."

He looked at her with eyes that spoke volumes.

"Sometimes," he said, it just takes something bad to bring about 
something good."

"I'm glad for you Jake. Glad there's still time...for you."

He read her sadness

"You know what I do real often now? I get up and go watch the sunrise 
over the mountains. It reminds me that every day is a new one, a new 
chance, a new beginning. The world is starting all over again every 
morning. Maybe you need to go watch a sunrise, Missy."

She smiled, her heart still heavy but somehow a bit more bearable than 
when she had entered.

"Everyone I've ever cared about is dead or gone."

"Loneliness is a terrible thing. Even after all these years I still 
miss my wife, her companionship. Sometimes it gets overwhelming and 
that's when I usually call upon the services of your sisterhood. Oh, 
the sex is good too, but much of the time we just spend talking, like 
now. But the loneliness only goes away for a while. There's nothing 
truly satisfying or lasting about it. Is that why you're here, Missy, 
to make your hurt go away for a while?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Because you'll never get better. You'll just go on numbing it, but it 
will always come back. You'll spend the rest of your life treating the 
symptom while the real problem just eats away at you. And in the 
meantime you're building walls that you think are there to protect you. 
But they just isolate you, giving you no chance to see the sunrise. 
Take it from somebody who knows."

He could tell she was listening carefully, mulling over his words.

"And there's one more thing to consider. A while ago I told you that in 
this profession you discuss business first. If you're going to turn pro 
little lady then you settle two things up front. One is money. How much 
are you worth?"

He took a hundred dollar bill from his wallet, held it out between 
them.

"I think this is the agreed upon amount. The other thing you always get 
straight beforehand is what you're willing to do for that money. But 
understand Missy that every time you stick that money in your purse and 
walk out the door, you leave a little bit of you behind. A little piece 
of what's inside of you hardens and chips off. With every increase in 
your bank account, the world gets a little drearier and you get a 
little more cynical and uncaring, a little more willing to do anything 
as long as the money's good."

He extended the bill even closer to her.

"Once you cross that line, you'll never feel the same way about 
yourself. I'm not saying you can't cross back over some day, but you 
won't be the same person who crossed it the first time. You'll have 
lost something you didn't want to lose and you'll have acquired 
something you really didn't want."

Once again he offered the bill.

"What are you willing to do for a hundred dollars, Missy? For two 
hundred, three hundred? "

He looked her squarely in the eye.

"What's it gonna be? A hundred dollar bill tonight or a sunrise 
tomorrow morning?

For the first time since she could remember, Kerri's eyes filled with 
tears of joy and hope.

"I think I have a date with a sunrise," she said smiling.

"I was kinda hoping you'd say that."

She turned to leave; turned back to him."

"Who are you Jake? Who are you really?"

He returned her smile.

"Just an old cowboy who's punched one too many cows,"

"You're wonderful," she said walking to him and kissing him on the 
cheek.

"Thank you Jake. This little talk has meant more to me than you'll ever 
know."

"My pleasure." he replied.

"Are you going to be all right?" she asked.

"Oh, sure. I'll probably watch some TV. Later I'll have some dinner. 
I'm fine."

She opened the door to leave.

"I really hope things work out with your son."

"Thanks."

" And Jake?"

Their eyes met.


"I'm glad it was you, here, tonight."

"Me too, Missy, me too."

"It's Kerri. My name is Kerri."

"Good luck, Kerri. Don't forget the sunrise."

"I won't," she said, as she closed the door behind her and started the 
walk to the elevator.

And I'll never forget you, either, she thought.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN


Kerri had taxied to the hotel and intended to return home via the same 
medium. She was in luck as a cab pulled up to discharge a passenger 
just as she approached the curb. She stood back to allow the man in the 
rear seat to exit. They glanced as he grabbed his briefcase and she 
prepared to enter.

Two mouths dropped open at the same moment.

"Kerri?"

"Kevin? Is it really you?"

Her eyes misted.

"It's...It's wonderful to see you again," he stammered awkwardly.

"And you. How have you been?"

"Some rough times, but things are much better now. I work for a 
computer software company in California. I'm in town for the 
convention. And you?"

"I wouldn't know where to begin," she said smiling ruefully.

There was an awkward moment when neither knew what to say.

Kerri waited, hoping he would ask her out for coffee, anything. She 
finally decided to take matters into her own hands.

"Kevin, I was wondering if you'd..."

An attractive black woman with a small child in tow approached them 
from the hotel lobby.

"Uh, Kerri, I'd like you to meet my wife Veronica and that's our 
daughter Lindsey."

"Hello," said Kerri, shaking hands with the wife, hiding the pain 
behind a smile. "And what a beautiful child."

"Thank you." said the woman. "Are you and Kevin old friends?"

"Oh," said Kerri, "We met once a long long time ago."

The silence was awkward once more.

"Uh, We were on our way to dinner. Would you care to join us?" asked 
Kevin's wife.

"Thanks, but no. I have some plans as well."

"Well, it was awfully good to see you again," said Kevin. "Would you 
like to share the taxi?"

"No, I think I'll walk. The air will do me good."

"If you're ever in Fresno, we'd love to have you come by for dinner," 
offered Veronica.

"Yes, dinner would be nice." she smiled, her heart aching.

The wife and daughter entered the cab. Kevin turned to Kerri.

"I hope you find as much happiness as I did."

"I intend to," she said as he closed the door and the cab sped off into 
the night.

Tears welled but she refused to let them fall. This night, with the 
help of a very special man, she had found the strength to survive. Now 
she intended to be more than a survivor.

The knocks were firm, determined.

Jake answered the door. His face showed total surprise.

"Kerri, what are you...?"

I'm looking for someone to share dinner and a sunrise," she said.

EPILOGUE

Wyoming winds were chilly this time of year. The woman sat on a blanket 
as the first shafts of orange filtered through the crags high above. 
The cry of an eagle drifted downward from its mountain aerie. She 
squinted to catch sight of the magnificent bird. There were lines 
visible around her still attractive eyes and hints of gray were 
beginning to show in her hair. Kerri checked on Windy, her five year 
old. Still tucked away warmly in her sleeping bag, the child had 
groggily greeted the sunrise with her mother only to drift off to 
dreamland again almost immediately.

One of these days I'll explain, thought Kerri; when she's just a bit 
older. I'll tell her about the father she never got to meet. She vowed 
to tell her daughter how they met, how he had turned her life around in 
a single evening, how they were married only seven months and then he 
was gone, she and his son at his side. He had left her the ranch, Jody 
a sizable endowment. But for Kerri, his legacy was their daughter who 
would someday come, like her mother, to appreciate this special place 
in the mountains where she could watch the morning sun crest the ragged 
peaks and remember, not the loss or grief or longing, but the happiness 
they had both found even if for so short a time.

I will teach her Jake, Kerri thought as she sipped from the piping hot 
mug of black coffee just as she and Jake had done on their last day 
together. I will teach her to love. I will teach her to care. I will 
teach her to find out who she is and who she can be. And most of all, 
Jake, I will teach her to watch the sunrise.