****** The Tell-Tale Shit by Lei Magnus ******
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The Tell-Tale Shit


Where should I start? Perhaps the best place would be at the beginning about
me. Not too long ago I met the perfect girl. Okay, so she was far from perfect.
She was a selfish bitch, caring only about her sexual needs and never mine. As
far as she was concerned, if I could make her cum more than once in an hour
then she'd keep me. It didn't matter how many times I came, or if I ever came
at all. But maybe it's my fault.

There's something I've never told my girlfriend. I'm a swinger wannabe. In
other words, I'm straight curious, but I've never had the nerve to go at it
with another guy. Whether or not I could suck a guy off is still a mystery to
me. Yet one thing I do know, and that's I love taking it up the ass. The truth
is, my ass is virgin. But I love to fuck it up with phallic-shaped objects
around the house. I've done markers, turkey basters, fire pit poker handles and
Easter egg-tipped TP rolls. I've also given myself enemas with garden hoses.
Occasionally things got messy. But as I did it more and more, I got better at
keeping messy accidents to a minimum.

When my girlfriend and I moved into a house together I brought the anal play to
a halt. After a while, my ass started craving attention once again. Whenever I
would butt fuck my girl I would envy her. Every time I came in her ass I felt a
little angry because she ignored my needs. Yet how could I tell her I was a
swinger? How would she react? So when she was away at work and I had the day
off, I would go into the bathroom, shit my guts out, hop in the shower to get
my ass cleaned up, and then I would fuck my ass with something from around the
house. I was always out of the bathroom and dressed by the time she got home.
She knew I had taken a shower most of the time, but she never guessed what else
I had been up to.

One day, while my girlfriend was out, I hopped into the shower after having
taking one of the biggest shits of my life. I didn't spend the time to make
sure my ass was cleaned out because the past few times no accidents had
occurred. I had no reason to feel that day would be any different. With the
poker from the fire place, I laid down in the tub and spread my legs.
Positioning the tip of the handle at my hole, I eased the handle in until I
could feel it pressing painfully against the back of my ass. Holding the other
end of the poker between my feet against the opposite wall of the tub, I'd move
my hips back and forth, sliding the handle in and out of my ass. As I rocked my
hips more and more, the handle got slicker and slicker.

Now, I've never cum just from having my ass fucked, but I came a lot sooner
when I jacked off with something fucking up my ass. That day was no different.
After I had cum, covering my hand and dick and pubes with jizz, I carefully
pulled the handle out. To my horror, the handle was tipped with a brown blob.
My eyes shot open and I stuck the handle tip down the open tub drain. When I
finally stood up and pulled the handle out of the drain, some of the shit had
come off and stuck in the drain. But I didn't worry about that at the time. I
lifted the toilet seat and shoved the handle into the cold water.

Try as I might, the shit would not leave the handle. I tried scraping it off on
the toilet drain, but it still wouldn't come off. I realized the shit in the
tub drain wasn't going anywhere on its own, so I left the poker in the toilet
and shoved the shit down the tub drain with the handle of an old comb. I threw
the comb away and resumed trying to clean the poker. The brush had given me an
idea. I raced into the other bathroom in the house and grabbed an old
toothbrush that was no longer being used. With the brush, I scrubbed the shit
off the handle. Most of it had come off thankfully. When I thought I had gotten
all the shit off, I put on some rubber gloves and cleaned off the handle. I
used soap for the initial cleansing and shampoo to try to get rid of the
stench. With a washcloth, I dried the handle off, scrubbing hard to make sure I
left nothing behind. When I pulled the cloth away I noticed brown streaks on
it, so I folded it over and continued scrubbing the handle tip clean. Looking
back, I doubt I ever completely cleaned it. I threw the cloth in the laundry
and put the poker back in its rightful place. Lastly, I poured bleach in the
toilet and tub to clean them and open the drains.

Half an hour later my girlfriend came home. She kissed me hello and went into
the bedroom to change. She was unusually early that day. I walked around the
house, trying to regain composure. But everywhere I walked something lingered
in the air, something foul. My heart pounded in my chest as I came to realize
what the horrid stench was. The house smelled like shit, no matter where I was.
My girlfriend came back out and went about her usual daily home life. She was
indifferent to the stench. Or did she not smell it?

My nose hairs curled as the fumes crept deep into my conscience. She must have
smelled it. How could she not? Of course, she was just mocking me. Obviously
she knew what I had been up to, or had been suspecting it. I stared at her
face, trying to make out any sign of mockery, but her face was solid and
emotionless. Damn that bitch!

She looked at me and inquired if anything was wrong. Feigning innocence, I told
her nothing was wrong, and hurried into the kitchen to get a glass of vodka. I
stood in the kitchen, sweating from the anxiety. That bitch was doing this on
purpose. Then again, maybe she really was innocent. While I stood there, that
horrible stench crept into my nose. I quickly brought the glass to my mouth and
sniffed the glass, but the stink existed in there as well. Screaming in
anguish, I hurled the glass at the wall, where it shattered and sprayed glass
across the counter.

Suddenly my girlfriend's head appeared in the kitchen. She walked up to me with
her hands held casually behind her back. She looked at the counter and inquired
what was the matter. The foul stench had driven me insane with shame and fury.
Damn that bitch to hell! How dare she mock me like this. Her eyes were gentle
and my guilt had consumed me. I fell to my knees and confessed to her my
passion for anal play and my fascination with bisexuality.

From behind her back, she revealed a can of air freshener and sprayed it around
the room. With a final squirt, she sprayed it under my nose. The fragrance of
spring fresh wild gardens filled my nostrils and I sighed with relief. She ran
her fingers through my hair. Clutching and handful of hair, she pulled my head
back and looked me in the eyes. Her eyes glimmered and a smile spread across
her face. With wry humor in her voice, she told me to stand up and go get in
the car. I did as she instructed. An hour later I found myself in a sex shop,
staring dumbfounded as my girlfriend purchased a strap-on dildo. God, I love
that girl!

This story is part of White_Shadow's_Nasty_Stories.
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