****** Jerry's Adventure in Teletubbyland by Mr. Snoid ******
===============================================================================

Jerry's Adventure in Teletubbyland


One day in Teletubbyland, a fat old man named Jerry came along.

Laa-Laa came along and saw Jerry. "Hi-di hi!"

Jerry stared at Laa-Laa. "Where is he? Where is that corrupter of youth? You
know who I mean."

Laa-Laa smiled at Jerry.

Tinky Winky and Dipsy came along.

Jerry scowled. "Ah here you are, Tinky Winky, and I suppose this is your gay
lover."

Tinky Winky, Laa-Laa, and Dipsy looked at each other.

Jerry's voice rose. "We are all perfectly aware of the sexual preference of
Tinky Winky. I see he is carrying his red purse as he frequently does."

Tinky Winky danced and held up his bag. "Pretty bag!"

Laa-Laa clapped her hands.

Jerry shook his head. "Well, we just love to prance around and flaunt our
sissiness don't we Tinky Winky? No wonder you are a favorite character among
gay groups worldwide. You know you aren't fooling anyone. We have conclusive
evidence you are a gay role model. You are purple -- the gay-pride color. Your
antenna is shaped like a triangle -- the gay-pride symbol. Yes, these are
subtle depictions but Satan works in subtle ways."

Po came along. "Fi-dit, fi-dit!"

Jerry's continued. "As a Christian, I believe that role-modeling the gay
lifestyle is damaging to the moral lives of children. I find the flat denials
of such a portrayal by Teletubbies producers to be disingenuous and
insufficient in answering the questions that have been raised about Tinky
Winky. The subversion of children's minds is contributing to the collapse of
the family. This is the primary cause of our nation's moral and social
disintegration and it's all because of Tinky Winky. Yes it is! Don't you dare
deny it!"

Laa-Laa ran after her ball.

Jerry pulled a leather Bible out of his coat pocket and started reading aloud.
"Here it is, Romans 1:26-27. For this cause God gave them up unto vile
affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is
against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the
woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which
is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which
was meet."

Dipsy looked dizzy. "Eh oh."

Jerry saw Dipsy's expression and shook his head. "I see that Satan is clouding
your mind, preventing you from comprehending the word of God. Let me make it
crystal clear: God has ordained the family as the foundational institution of
human society. Marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant
commitment for a lifetime. It is God's unique gift to reveal the union between
Christ and His church, and to provide for the man and the woman in marriage the
framework for intimate companionship, the channel for sexual expression
according to Biblical standards, and the means for procreation of the human
race. The only appropriate form of sexual expression is through sexual
intercourse between a man and a woman who have been united in Holy Matrimony.
The failure of some to obtain sexual fulfillment through intercourse is because
people don't understand what God wants them to do. The man is supposed to mount
a woman who is laying on her back, pushing his erect penis into her vagina.
Some claim this 'missionary position' is boring but I disagree. The key is the
touching of pubic bones together during intercourse. This is what we in the
clergy refer to as 'grinding stimulation.' It is tricky to obtain sexual
satisfaction this way, yes, but it can be done. The way God intends it to be is
with a gentle entry, followed by slow, full-length strokes of the penis in and
out, getting gradually faster. When the movement is rhythmic the woman then can
be confident she will obtain her orgasm. The grinding directly stimulates her
clitoris, which causes her increasing arousal until that heavenly moment when
her body stiffens and her partner thrusts in fast very deep strokes while his
seed spews forth against her unprotected cervix as... as..."

Jerry was sweating profusely now, breathing heavily as he licked his lips.

Dipsy removed his big hat to fan the sweating Jerry. As Dipsy lifted his hat,
Jerry's eyes grew wide at the sight of Dipsy's antenna being revealed. The
antenna looked to Jerry just like a very long green penis.

Jerry gasped. "Oh Lordy, this is it. Dipsy intends to push his erect head penis
deep into Tinky Winky's rectum. I just know it. I'll bet that thing is pulsing
with passion." Jerry reached for Dipsy's antenna.

Dipsy drew back. "Run away!"

Laa-Laa jumped up and down. "Run away!"

"Run away!"

"Run away!"

The four teletubbies ran away from Jerry.

Jerry shook his fist at them as they ran. "You aren't fooling anyone. You are
subverting our children. Admit it! Admit it!"

Jerry walked away muttering to himself. "The rampant sexuality of this group
and their emphasis on promoting deviant sexual behavior must be fought. And I
will fight it, as long as I have a breath in my body. It must be stopped...
must be stopped..."

The teletubbies poked their heads out of their hiding place and waved their
hands. "Bye-bye!"

This story is part of White_Shadow's_Nasty_Stories.
You may also want to visit:
    * Sexy_Top_100_Stories
    * Erotic_Top_100_Story_Sites