****** Memoirs from the Closet by Eric ******
===============================================================================

Memoirs from the Closet


What I now am going to tell you about took place a number of years ago during
the first summer of my university years. I am keeping the memories of this
summer close to my heart but I have a need to tell others how wonderful,
thrilling and sexy a sexual encounter between two men really can be. Moreover,
I want and need to tell the world what a happy guy I am regarding the
development of my sex life even though I'll remain in the "closet" doing that.
But, that story will come in future parts if you like this one.

I was brought up in a very loving family. I was pretty good in school and I am
endowed with a naturally healthy and athletic body without being very
interested in sports. Business and politics was more close to my mind than
football and baseball. I liked downhill skiing though, and had every summer
rather physical jobs, which left positive marks on my body appearance. We moved
to Anchorage, Alaska, in my early teens and I found both the nature and the
girls very appealing. Outdoor sex is standard procedure for young Alaskans
filled with hormones. But only straight even though a friend eventually could
brag about a three-some, which filled the rest of us with envy. No real bad
experiences, in other words.

At midsummer this year I followed my best friend and his parents to their
summer home on one of the islands at the coastline. Being a "son of the family"
I had been there many times before and knew my way around pretty well. They had
a marvelous house at the waterside, all necessities of civilization and still
it was totally secluded from the rest of the world. The whole island included
maybe 10 estates but I understood the socializing among the tenants was scarce.
Being with the family, was the trick of this island. The only problem was the
transportation facilities to and from the islands. An old passenger ferry was
servicing the area with a maximum of two stops every other day. Really good for
keeping tourists away, not that good if one missed a tour.

My friend and his parents had to take the Sunday afternoon tour in order to be
at work Monday morning but as I wasn't scheduled to work until the middle of
the week they offered me to stay by my self two more days. I gladly accepted
their offer, as the weather cast promised more sun and summer heat.

They gave me instructions on how to lock the place including how to drop the
keys into the basement through the small crack in the concrete ground. They had
extras at home and since I was supposed to work far south of Anchorage I
wouldn't have time to stop by at their city house to leave their keys back.
They had plenty of food in the freezer and my friend's father had an impressing
collection of beer and booze so they joked a bit about the temptations when I
bade them farewell at the pier.

Wow, after one week of water skiing, some carpentry, sun bathing and
socializing with the old folks my body was ready to explode from the sexual
build up. I jogged the mile, or so, back to the house, dropped my clothes and
sat down with a beer in the afternoon sun and started to masturbate while
dreaming about my latest girl friend. Soon I came all over my self but I was in
the state of mind when such a first relieve just trigger a craving for more. I
went into the house and scrolled through the magazines in hope of finding a
Playboy or, really, any paper with some bare body parts. No such luck! I
continued to the bedroom of my hosts and started without much bad feelings to
snoop around in their drawers and closets. Once started, I showed my efficient
and structural working capacity by scanning the whole room bit by bit, drawer
by drawer and shelf by shelf.

On the upper shelf in one of the closets I struck gold. Behind a huge comforter
I found a storage box, triple the size of a shoebox, that was filled with toys,
magazines and sexy underwear. I definitely got new thoughts about my friend's
parents. Scary and uplifting at the same time.

I had been glad if I had found a simple photo magazine as they usually have
some pictures that at least show a glimpse of some bare breasts or so. But this
was fucking spectacular. There were remote control dildos, eggs, butterflies as
well as a strap on dildo. Open panties of different styles, a see through
negligee, an open leather bra and different hard core magazines with mean
looking woman and submissive men.

One magazine, "Femdom Force," I believe it was called, caught my special
interest as it was loaded with pictures of woman using men in fashions I hadn't
even thought was possible. I was perplexed but extremely intrigued. This was
hot. Thinking of my best friend's parents in situations like these made me rock
hard. No one could ever believe that my friend's mother was such a tiger and
that his father was such a sissy - Wow!

With frenzy I started to study the world of femdom. In one photo series a woman
trained her young "husband" with a strap on dildo. The pictures were triple-X-
explicit showing in detail how she penetrated his anus with him on the back at
a kitchen table and how he, dressed in a frilly short nightgown, was riding her
while she with stern eyes pinched his nipples through the see through fabric. I
got so fantastically horny and jacked of with a feverish mind I never have had
before. With cum all over my chest I really got hooked when she in the next
series of pictures forced him to have sex with an older man. The "husband" was
totally vulnerable and it was no match for me to identify with his feelings.
This was my cup of tea.

During the rest of my stay I was sunbathing, reading and rereading the
magazines and masturbating every other hour and even I even used the dildos in
my anus. I loved every bit of it. It was truly an orgy in exploring my own
sexuality. The second day I was sunbathing and cleaning up the mess I had
created. My penis needed a rest and I needed to think about what forces I had
released. Obviously my preferences were not that vanilla. I was so in to the
cleaning task that I missed my, ferry with a couple of minutes.

I reached the pier, totally soaked from running, seeing the ferry half a mile
out going in direction from the pier. "Shit, shit, Shit!"

A tanned man in his early fifties, that I vaguely recognized, laughed out loud
when saying, - "An accidental vacationist, I see!"

I wasn't amused at all but tried, in between my outbursts of f-words, to
explain my predicament. I was sure I would be fired before I even had started
my summer job, I had locked the house and had thrown in the keys as instructed
and I had neither hiking gear nor food for the next two days. I was trapped on
this god forsaken island, and I remembered from when I was younger how the
parents warned us kids for stray bears (of course any such monsters didn't
exist but it was good for the general discipline).

The man introduced him self (lets say John), and I shock his hand introducing
myself. - "Hi, I am Eric N."

I realized why I had recognized him. He was pretty well known in our local
business community and was somewhat, active in local politics. I explained why
I was there alone and he immediately offered me to stay with him. He lay a hand
on my shoulder and said that he would try to talk to my employer if necessary
before he continued, "I have just followed some business associates to the
ferry and you are more than welcome to stay at my place. I'll take care of all
your needs."

What a relief! From a shattered future including two days without shelter and
food to a situation of absolute physical and mental security, within a split
second. I was so taken by the situation that I couldn't hold back some silent
sobs when thanking him for saving my day. I started to excuse my self, but he
just silenced me with a hush and lay his arm around my shoulders. "I know that
feeling," he said, "I was in Nam." You get horrified and when the tension
releases, this type of reaction starts. Just let it out, be a good boy and cry
it out at my shoulder," he said with a stern but friendly voice.

A split second I felt awkward but his voice made me oblige. He was longer,
heavier and bigger than I was and he had a vitality that could have matched any
guy in my own age. It was a feeling of direct bonding and "fatherhood" when he
repeated over and over again: "So, now, be a good boy and let it all out, be a
good boy, show me you're a good boy and let it out." I was standing there,
sobbing and felt like I was getting hypnotized by this demanding but, yet, soft
voice. He held one of his arms around my shoulders and placed the other hand at
my waist. His hands were really big. The hand on my waist gave me a feeling of
being really small and vulnerable. A great feeling it was, despite the fact I
would have died if any of my friends should have seen me like this.

I started to think of the young husband and the older man and instantly I got
rock hard. I got horrified again. "Am I gay!" I thought, "No please, say that
it isn't true!"

I released my self from his grip in a really harsh manner and grabbed my bag
trying to disguise the front of my pants in the same movement. With totally
reddish cheeks I stared down and mumbled a soft: -"Thank you!" He stepped back
and studied me with intense smiling eyes and after an eternity he spoke: - "I
see that I triggered some buttons you didn't know you had. Come on, let's go to
my place."

Yes, I said without being able to hold back, Sir! He smiled and I thought I
could see how he formed his lips as if saying: - "Good boy!"

His estate was in the opposite direction from my friends house and further
away. He showed me the surroundings on our walk there and talked freely about
any subject that came to his mind. It would have been very interesting but I
could hardly listen as I was desperately trying to force all naughty thoughts
out of my mind. He was extremely comfortable and jovial and I was utterly
ashamed, as I knew that he knew what type of disgusting individual I was,
coming on to him like that.

His house was magnificent. Four, five bedrooms, designer furniture, vast living
areas, a fireplace of a size I only had seen in the movies, a view toward west
over the sea and islands that was breathtaking and a fifteen to twenty yard
swimming pool at the patio. Everything was of impeccable style and fashion.

"I think you need a beer," he said and handed me a can. "Let's get to work.
There's the telephone, call your parents and your employer and then come out
for a swim.." I called but I really had nothing to worry about. The employer
laughed and said he had one up on me, "I'll make sure you will have to work
some Saturday evenings when everybody else are going to the local joint, you
know, there are a lot of girls around here." My parent was relieved I had met
John, as they very well knew who he was, even though they didn't socialize.

I went out on the patio were John was lying, with his clothes on, in a deck
chair. He pointed to the deck chair closest to him. The sun was still warm, as
it is that time of the year in Alaska, and John told me to undress for a bath.
"The water is great" he said, "its sea water, cleaned and warmed in that
pumping room over there." I felt I couldn't say recline without being rude, so
I went for my bag took out my shorts and started to take my trousers off. "Hey
there," John said, "are you crazy? You can't use shorts when swimming here. You
are spoiling the whole swimming experience. There are no one here to see you
nude. That is the whole point of having a place out here." I only had my T-
shirt on and turned around toward him with a big question mark in my face. When
I saw that he inspected me with those smiling eyes again my dick started to
grove in jerking movements. I sat down on the side of my chair while trying to
hide my upright standing member. Wow, was I ever feeling like a little kid
trapped with my hand in the cookie jar!

John raised slowly from his chair and placed him self just beside me. He lay
his arm around my shoulders and dragged me closer to him.

"Eric," he said with a friendly but stern voice, "I noticed before how you got
affected down at the pier. It is perfectly ok to have that sort of reactions. I
have seen those too. Just let them out! If you are trying to hold back you will
get very frustrated and maybe miss out in finding your true self." My shame was
profound but it had a tickling undertone of lust and vulnerability. "I don't,
know why, I am acting like this, why I can't control my self," I said in a
stuttering and barely hearable voice.

"I believe you have feelings and dreams of being a naughty little boy that
can't control him self, isn't it so?" he asked with an even deeper but still
smiling voice. I couldn't believe my ears, what would happen next? I didn't
dear to say anything but couldn't help my self so I nodded without looking at
him. "Let us find out what your hidden agenda looks like, the one you are
trying to fight with your mind, he proposed or demanded. I can help you out and
if you feel to awkward you just tell me. Then we know were your boundaries are
drawn. Let it out Eric, and relax!"

I couldn't do anything else then silently nod but my whole face was burning of
lust filled shame. Now I was hooked, indeed.

"You are a healthy and very attractive little boy, Eric." He griped my neck
with one of his big hands and placed the other on my chest, feeling my chest
and nipples out. I was so ashamed but couldn't and didn't want to escape so
instead I leaned a little bit backward placing the hand closest to him behind
me at the chair, leaving room for his hand to feel me out. My nipples got
really erect and I realized for the first time how sensitive they are. I was
ashamed, I was rock hard, I felt like a little naughty boy and I loved it. "Let
me see what we can do about such a boyish little problem, be a good boy and put
your other hand behind you as well!" Now every ounce of resistance had
perished. I was in his power and felt I really wanted to become a "good little
boy." He knew exactly how to take charge of the situation and my low level of
security.

He let his hand on my chest "walk" downward over my abdomen at the same time as
he was raising my T-shirt upwards. "Let's see what we have here," he said with
a firm and steady voice, "your little veenie standing straight up." He stood up
and went over to a regular dining chair. "Eric, be a good boy now and come and
sit in my lap." He patted his lap and continued too instruct me, "That is good,
just so, sit in my lap with your back toward me and your legs on each side of
mine."

"Good boy, I think it will not be impossible to teach you the right manners
after all. You do want to learn the right manners, don't you?"

"Yes," I said, with a very weak voice. "But, Eric," he said, "how should you
address me in a situation like this? You behaved well down at the pier before."

"Yes Sir!" I repeated, however not in a proud manner. I was truly full of
shame.

"That's very good, Eric! Now lean back so I may inspect how you are built and
how you will react." He let his big hands wander over my arms, my chest and my
abdomen. I was rock hard and I felt like I was trapped in a combination of
heaven and hell. During the whole time he commented my body parts and
complimented me when I tensed or relaxed according to his demands.

"I think we shall teach my little boy about his own autonomy, what do you say,
Eric, isn't that a good idea, come with me!" It was no question, just a clear
order even if it was said with his words of choice. "What do we say then,
Eric?"

"Yes Sir!"

"Come with me." He held his hand steady at my back and led me inside to the
dining area, which had a wall mirror along the huge dining table (placed there
so everyone could get a glimpse of the sea through the glass wall at the
patio). He turned one of the chairs around and sat down. "Eric, please place
your self in my lap as before!" I sat down and the reaction was immediate when
I looked at my self in the mirror. My rock hard dick stood straight up and
immense amount of pre-com had flown over the gland. I am not circumcised but I
was so hard that the foreskin was drawn back by it self, showing more than half
of the gland.

"Eric, now I want you to look into my eyes through the mirror and be a good boy
when answering a question or doing as I am asking you! Understood?"


"Yes Sir, please teach me about my self," I cried out with a very small voice,
"I do need to become a good boy." I realized I had totally fallen in to his
vocabulary but it felt absolutely correct. I was a little boy, in the lap of
this man. His stern eyes hypnotized me and at this point I would have done
whatever he asked for (I actually have done so later on but I'll tell you about
that later). I desperately wanted him to feel me out in a twisted and wonderful
feeling of bliss and shame.

"No, show me you are a good boy, spread your legs wider so I can see your
scrotum and maybe even your little boyish anus." I spread my legs and saw in my
own eyes what a small little boy I had become. John took his big hands and
raised my T-shirt. He massaged my nipples and flashes of lust went through my
body concentrating around my "little boy cunt." Oh God, I wanted him to feel me
out.

"Eric, please tell me about what naughty dreams you have had, don't look away,
in my eyes please, be a good boy now!"

"Yes Sir," I said with a cracked voice. "I have dreamt of, ooh, being seduced
by an older but very dominant woman lately, but, please, now I need to learn
how to be a good boy for a man, please... teach me, Sir."

I couldn't continue talking. I felt through John's trousers that he started to
grove a little bigger. This affected him as well. But nothing else in his
posture gave away anything of his feelings.

"I believe you are a real little rascal, Eric, having such naughty dreams!" He
moved one of his hands toward the base of my dick and gave very soft and slowly
massages to the lowest part with his fingers. "So here we have your little
penis!"

"A boys penis indeed." He concluded. I am endowed with a full proud seven-inch
piece of meat and it is as big around but now I was sure it was the smallest
one on earth). "Eric, show me that you have the capacity to become a man,
concentrate on your little veenie and make it as big as you can, be a good boy
now and show me!"

"Yes sir, yes.," I said when I started to thrust my hips upward. "So, Eric, now
tell me what type of penis you have here!"

"I have a little boyish prick and it need to be attended to by a man, I am
sorry but it is just a worthless little prick, please help me train it to
become big, Sir!"

"First, I want to inspect the rest of your private parts and see what we can
use you for. But I like it that you are picking up the situation pretty good.
You are very adoptive. Good boy." With his index finger he scooped up pre-cum
at my gland as he draw my foreskin back with his other hand. I was in heaven.

He squeezed the base of my "little prick" and started to massage my anus ring
really soft as I spread my legs even more to let him get full access. "That's
my boy, spread your legs as much as you can so I can be sure that you are
opening up for me. I definitely think you need some friction training in your
little butt hole, is that right, my little friend?"

"Yes Sir, please use me, give me friction training. I need to be trained to
become good!" I said in an almost desperate voice.

Now, I had past all prejudices about man to man sex. I really wanted him to
fuck me for real.

He entered my hole with his finger and I started to hump it. He laughed and
said, "I believe we have a true sluttish little animal here!" His index finger
now went in and out through my ring, lubricated with my pre-cum. I tried to get
his finger in really deep by humping as much as it was possible in my rather
restricting position. He withheld my humping with his other hand while
squeezing the base of my now much bigger "boyhood."

He suddenly stopped and raised his finger from the anus to my mouth. "Be a good
boy Eric, and lick my finger clean! Show me that you can obey my requests," he
said in a much sterner voice than before. "Do that for me, please!" I licked
and it actually tasted really good and it was so extremely sexy.

He asked me to lay down on my back, at the dining table edge, with my "little
bottom" toward the mirror. He moved the chairs away and asked me to pull my
legs up and backward as much as I could. In this position I looked straight in
to my butt hole. John was standing beside the table and was caressing my anus
with one hand and a nipple with the other. "Now Eric, I want you to show me how
you fondle your self!" He took my cock and my left index finger, which he
lubricated with my own pre-cum and then he helped me to locate my anus with my
finger. "So, be a real good boy now, Eric and touch your self were you are not
supposed to, open your rosebud up for that little finger." I caressed my anus
ring and looked amazed how it got more and more relaxed. I easily got my finger
in to the second knuckle and turned my finger sideways back and forth. Oh, it
felt good! John gave my cock a couple of soft strokes before he moved my other
hand to it.

"Eric, now I want you to jerk off in front of me and more important, in front
of your own eyes. Be a real good boy now and show me your true self." He held
one hand behind my neck so I could look into the mirror without effort while
caressing my nipples with the other. Now everything of me was focused around my
real private parts, everything. I had never before felt so fulfilled with
sexuality. This was my true self and in combination with letting the sexual
shame taking control of my mind, through John's instructions, I felt so close
to him. Without logic thoughts, I wanted to come even closer to him so I tried
to raise my head even more. I really wanted to make the best of impressions. I
entered two more fingers in my hole, opening my rosebud even more. While
finger-fucking my self I stroke my cock vigorously and just before I was ready
to cum he made the whole picture complete by leaning forward and kissing me
with a deep French kiss.

When I felt his warm and demanding tongue take access of my mouth I came like
never before. Exploding is a more proper expression. Straight up in several
sequences before it splashed down on my belly. The incredible intense feeling
of being nothing else than a cock and a scrotum was what I experienced for the
first time that moment.

"Good boy, good boy," John said and gave me another deep kiss. "I am so proud
of having had the possibility to help you on this journey of yours," he said
with that strong and comforting voice of his.

He smiled and gave my cock a couple of gentle strokes as he told me to stay on
the table. He went for a kitchen cloth that he had held under some warm water.
Then he cleaned me up in a gentle manner, which was a true spectacular
experience, and asked if I had any regrets. I became very shy but I could say,
"I am really glad that I now have come into the closet, or whatever they call
it!"

John laughed and said, "I guess we are in for a couple of real interesting
days, but first, come on and help me prepare some dinner."

This story continues and I would like to share the rest of it if you liked what
you have read so far. Mail your comments to: littleericn@hotmail.com

This story is part of White_Shadow's_Nasty_Stories.
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