****** Ice Queen by Jennistoy ****** =============================================================================== Ice Queen The following story is for readers of legal age or readers who have interests which lie in the direction of BDSM. If you have comments or suggestions, feel free to E-mail me at Jennistoy@hotmail.com. I do try to answer any and all that I get. You can also find me on line under Jennistoy for Instant Message, (I will not accept an IM if you do not have a profile), or you may check out my website at http://home.talkcity.com/BoomerSt/jennistoy/index.html. Chapter 2 "You wanted to see me Trish?" "Yes, sit down Leroy." I handed him his final check. "What's this? A bonus?" "No, it's your final check, I have warned you both verbally and in writing and you haven't changed your work habits. I have to let you go, I can't allow the other employees to nurse you through your little problem." "You're firing me? Are you kidding?" "Leroy, there is a nice severance, all your vacation, well, what you haven't used up. It should be enough to support you for the better part of six months. Your membership at the club is good through the end of the year. I suggest you get your act together and forget everything that has happened to you in the past two years." "I can't," he whispered. "I can't forget. I don't want to forget." Leroy's wife and child had been killed in a car accident two years before. Now keep in mind, I was not unsympathetic, but life goes on and he really needed to climb out of the pit before someone filled it in. I hoped he responded to this firing, and would be able to fix his life before it got too bad. I would continue to keep tabs on him and if it looked like something was not happening, I was going to have to take some action. I didn't want my old friend to suffer anymore than he had to. I reached out my hand. "Consider this an extended vacation. If you can't find anything or you start feeling worse, let me know, I'll find something for you to do around here to keep you busy that will help you get back into the swing of things. After all, you didn't die with them." Leroy looked up at me; his eyes full of tears and said quietly "Trish, I know you mean well, but since you don't care about anything or anyone, you can't possibly understand what I am going through or how much that comment hurt." He drew himself up to his full height and continued. "Do not worry about me, I will take care of myself one way or the other, I don't need an Ice Queen to numb my feelings and emotions for me." Then he stalked out of the room. I sat stunned on the couch. What the fuck had I done to deserve that? I had told him the truth, but to be treated this way? I was concerned and worried, I had lost a good employee because he refused to pull himself together after the accident. I had to fire a long time friend because he refused to quit the role of grieving father and husband. Well fuck him, I didn't need the extra aggravation. Let him take his check and go, let him try to make it out in the world with out help. He owed me damnit! I had put up with plenty in the past two years and he could just kiss my ass! I got up and stalked around the office pacing fast. I stopped in the middle of the room and pulled out the middle drawer of my desk. I rummaged around till I found a pack of cigarettes. I fished around some more until I came across a book of matches. I scraped one on the strip and sucked greedily at the cancer stick. I strode to the window and flung it open. I crawled out on to the fire escape and draped my legs over the side while I sucked the cigarette down to nothing. When only the filter was left I remained sitting there swinging my feet, watching the traffic go by. Soon I felt calm and had filed away Leroy's tantrum as a man who needed help. He couldn't have meant any thing personal about me; he was depressed, clinically depressed. I should have gotten him a shrink, instead of a severance. By the time I crawled back in, I was feeling better about life and my own opinion of myself was back where it should have been. Ice Bitch indeed I gave to charity; I worked with those less fortunate than me. I was an upstanding citizen if you discounted my love for what some called immoral acts. I was a business owner who worked well with the other members of my community and worked hard to maintain a good relationship with my neighbors. Of course giving him his check left me with out a manager, but the employees could handle it for two weeks. It was just too rough to deal with all the extra issues that arose from not being able to find him. They could call me or Sherri if they needed a decision made. I went upstairs and got dressed for the evening and went down to the club. I was going to do the demonstration so I needed to get the equipment set up. When I walked in I saw the cage had been delivered. We hooked it to the center chain and then I went in search of the stocks with wheels. I brought those over and made sure that everything was centered on the bolts in the floor. Michael brought me a coffee and I settled into the couches and watched the flames. I was hidden from casual view over here so I could just relax. I had only been sitting there for a few minutes when someone knelt beside me. I studied the form next to me before acknowledging them. "Yes, can I help you?" "You are the Mistress of Club DeSalle?" "I am." "The man at the bar sent me over. I heard you were looking for a new submissive. Well at least that is what the word is. I have come to offer myself to you." "Where did you hear that?" "Mistress, it is said that you are selling your live-in submissive and that you have placed an ad on the web for a new one." "Where did you hear this?" "Mistress it's the only thing the unattached submissives are talking about. We have all seen your ad from yesterday; you have been a big subject in the chat areas. Everyone is wondering why you are selling Christa and getting a new submissive." "Does Christa know?" "No Mistress, I don't think so. She never comes online with out you there." "What is your name?" "Jack Mistress." "Leave Jack, the submissive I seek has little experience and I get the feeling that you are not that submissive. Thank you for telling me that I am not as sneaky as I thought." "But Mistress." "Leave, now" He bowed out and left me on the couch. I was not worried about what he would say, because he knew I would know whom to trace it back to. Irritated, I noticed my coffee cup was empty. I got up and strolled over to the bar, and leaned on it waiting for Michael to free up. I was looking around when I saw the cup being taken out of my range of sight and turned to talk to Michael but I realized that it wasn't him. The back I was looking at belonged to a man but that was where the similarity ended. This person's back was wide and narrowed down to an ass to die for. The legs were strong and bulging in the black jeans he wore. Down the center of his back hung a black ponytail and I could tell from this angle that the front and top of that pitch-black hair was spiked. He turned around and I saw the dark outline of a beard that was trimmed closely and followed his jaw line. His face was narrow and looked to be chiseled. The cheekbones were high, the jaw was strong and his nose was straight and aquiline. His eyes arrested me. They were a dark liquid brown, with strange flecks of green in them. He smiled as he brought the coffee to me showing straight even teeth that seemed to glow in his face. "Ok, I don't know you. You're new?" "Yes Ma'am. Michael hired me this morning." "Trish," I said as I stuck out my hand. "I know and I know you take your coffee black and strong. I'm Scott." He wiped his hand off on his apron before shaking mine. "You ever worked a BDSM club before Scott? It's different." "I serve drinks, how different could it be? Besides, I am here to 'work, not gawk." I chuckled and nodded toward Michael. "You've been talking to Michael I see. He can be a bit gruff, but he is a good guy. I trust him completely." Scott looked over and watched Michael talk to a Dom at the end of the bar. "I like him and I'll give him no cause for complaint. So I hear all of this is yours. You must be a very good business woman." I shrugged, "It was inheritance more than anything else. This was all I ever wanted to do and it afforded me the opportunity. You only want to tend bar?" He flashed that grin at me again and said, "Nope would like to own one though. I would hire someone else to run it and still work behind here." He poured himself a cup as well and leaned on the bar with me. "After all, you meet some of the most interesting people working behind a bar." He raised his coffee cup in salute and took a sip. "It's not bad from this side either," I responded as I raised my own. Again I got that grin and we sipped in companionable silence. Michael strolled down the bar and smiled as he clapped his hand on Scott's shoulder. "I see you have met my new right hand. What do you think?" I looked at Scott over my cup and smiled. "Yes, he is very nice. I think you did well. I assume you prepped him on all the dangers he could encounter here." Michael burst out laughing, "He has more social graces than I do and can handle himself with any man or woman. Don't worry Trish. He'll do you proud." "Well if you picked him out, I have no worries." I gently patted Michael's face and told them I would go back in my corner if one of them would hand me my book. Michael handed it over, checked my cup and sent me on my way. I curled into the sofa and started to read. I was once again swept up into Mary Stewart's version of Arthur and his kingdom. I was not due to start the demonstration until 11:00 so I had plenty of time. It was only 7:00. I heard someone clear their throat a bit later I looked up and there was Scott, coffeepot in hand. "Want more?" I ran my eyes over him, settling briefly on the bulge in the jeans, sighed and got my coffee cup and offered it to him. He settled down with me and asked to see the book. I handed it over and he smiled slowly as he looked at it. "You know, I think that Merlin let people see what they wanted. Like when he snuck Uther into Ugraine. They had to climb the cliff to Tingel and who is to say that Ugraine's people didn't want to see Uther, rather her husband. He played out a fantasy for all of them. Kind of like what you do here. You allow people to play out their fantasies. That can be a really good thing sometimes, other times, playing the mighty Merlin can be very lonely." I looked at him and shook my head. "I am too busy to be lonely, I am constantly working and doing new things. It's the quiet times like this that I don't get enough of." "I didn't say you weren't busy, just lonely. You know that Michael loves you don't you?" As my jaw dropped, he went on. "His eyes follow you wherever you are. He blushed when you touched his face and then told me to mind my manners around you." He studied me. "You didn't know did you? How could you miss that?" I shook my head and replied, "You have to be mistaken, I have known Michael for the better part of 10 years. He has never indicated anything like that." "Course not, you're the boss. He isn't going to tell you something like that. That would be career suicide. He loves you enough to let you go." I snatched the book from his hand and started to read again. I was confused. I didn't understand why he said what he said. I was not a loveable person. He had to have been mistaken. I was about to speak when Scott spoke again. "He may be afraid to tell you, but I am not. You are a very beautiful woman Trish; you have an inner light. The sad part is no one can get through that glass wall you've erected around yourself." He leaned over and looked into my eyes. "Let yourself live, enjoy your life, or you'll be old before your time." I stared at him as he walked away. He looked over his shoulder at me and grinned. Discomfited I returned to my book, but I couldn't keep my mind on the timeless story. I got up and strolled to the bar. "Scott I need to see you in my office please." I walked to the locked door at the end of the bar and unlocked it climbed the stairs and waited for Scott to follow. He seemed to be in no hurry, which irritated me even more. "Please close the door." He did and leaned against it as I rummaged in the desk for a cigarette. When I finally found a pack he had his lighter at the ready. When I glanced up he smiled and said, "Bartender school." I nodded and inhaled deeply off the cancer stick. I hated those things, but every once in a while I needed one. It was not a good sign that I had indulged in two already today. I looked at him and started on my tirade. "First of all, I don't appreciate being spoken to that way. I am the employer and you are the employee. Second of all you have no idea what Michael feels. I have known him for a long time and he has never shown any signs of being in love." Scott watched me and smiled. "Were you looking?" I shot him a dirty look, went to open the door and said, "We are not going to discuss this again, you don't know me well enough to know that I don't like people sticking their noses into my business. It never happened ok?" Right as I opened the door he shut it again and trapped me between the door and him. His hands were on either side of my head and he just looked at me. "Trish, you're scared. Why?" "I am not." "Yes you are, you're trembling like an aspen leaf in the wind. I can see your pulse in your neck, it's beating quite hard." He bent his head and laid his lips on my neck, caressing it with them softly. I felt the merest brush, of a heat, that if given the chance to catch hold, could burn me alive. "Your breathing is rapid and shallow, I could feel it over my ear when I kiss your neck." His lips were mere fractions of an inch from mine and suddenly they were right there. They were so soft, tracing the contour of my mouth, burning against my lips. His hands crept up and held my face, tenderly cradling my cheeks, enveloping them in warmth. I couldn't move. The touch of his lips and hands held me spellbound as though at his touch I was no longer in control of my responses or myself. The world spun and came to a stand still. Time passed but it had no meaning. Slowly the kiss ended and I was left feeling bereft with out his touch. I trembled and looked into his eyes. He watched my eyes and briefly met my lips again and moved away and exited the door. I stood in my office, the cigarette smoke swirling around me and suddenly annoying me. There came a knock on the door, jolting me out of my daze, "Come in." Michael came in and looked at me. "Trish, are you ok? What did Scott do that was wrong?" "Huh? Oh nothing, I just wanted to talk to him about the rules around here and how he should handle the patrons. I know you had already gone over it with him, but I thought better safe than sorry." "Trish, are you ok?" "Hmm? Oh yea Michael, just preoccupied, I have a lot on my mind. I let Leroy go this afternoon and hired someone to take his place this morning and just have a lot going on. But thanks for asking." I walked over to him and laid a hand on his. He got really nervous and pulled away. Scott was wrong, I thought to myself, if anything he seems to not like me touching him. "Sure thing Trish, was just a bit concerned. You seem a bit, well, lonely today," Michael said as he walked out the door. There was that word again. Lonely, what a word. Since when did not having a significant person in your life mean you were lonely? I was fine. I didn't need someone to cling to or cook for. I was self-sufficient. I walked over to the window and peeked out. My office was on the upper floor from the shop and I could see people coming and going. I watched people hold hands and stroll. I watched as they walked briskly by themselves. How did I walk I wondered. Did I stroll, looking around me, or were my hands in my pockets, my head down and my legs moving as fast as I could with out being awkward. I had never considered how others saw me. I looked into the mirror on the wall. I smiled into it. The smile never reached my eyes. I could see how Scott could equate me to the great magician that knew his own demise. How could one really share in joy if you knew it was only fleeting, that happiness ends, that all we do is just an act for the benefit of others and ourselves. That very second I felt the wall around me crumble and my very core seem to melt. I broke down in tears, in my office, watching people walk by. I sobbed like a child. I wanted to run from the place screaming. I realized that there was no way I could go through the demonstration tonight. I called Mike up front and told him to call the Doms and let them know I wasn't feeling well. I was going upstairs and going to bed. I locked the door to the office, climbed the stairs that took me to the top floor and entered in the flat. I saw Christa making dinner and I sent her to John's place. I told her to take her things; I gave her some money and locked the door. I made a few calls cancelled the appointments for later in the week for her sale and removed the ad. I locked all the doors and windows in the flat. I stripped off all my clothes and dived into the shower. I stood under the scalding hot water mixing it with my tears. I was devastated at the shambles my life was. I wasn't a real person; I was like a holoprogram. I was a character that had no emotions, no connections, no one to care. If I dropped off the face of the earth, my passing would not devastate anyone's life. It would possibly inconvenience them till the new job was found or until a new club was built. I sank down in the shower, scrunched against the back wall in a little ball and sobbed like a baby. Suddenly I could see Leroy's problem and how his little family had encompassed his world. I wanted someone to mourn me like that. I wanted to be able to mourn like that. Slowly I dragged my self out of the shower and went dripping to the bed. I fell on top of it, and curled up into a little ball. I had stopped crying at some point and could feel the chill of the air on my wet skin. Eventually I made my way under the covers and fell asleep. I woke the next morning to the phone ringing. Almost in a daze I waited for the voice mail to pick up and then shut the ringer off. I stumbled to the bed and crawled back under the covers and pulled them over my head. The only person who had keys to the flat was Christa and she had left them. I vaguely remembered her crying as she left. Sometime later I heard pounding at the door but was too tired to go answer it. I burrowed deeper into the bed and closed my eyes again. But was returned to reality by a pounding on the inner door from the office. I picked up the water glass by the bed and hurled it at the door. "GO AWAY," I yelled. The pounding continued a while more, but finally subsided. I drifted again. I dreamed of children, babies really. Little ones held in my arms with funny brown eyes. I remember crying into my pillow more and then drifting again. This time accompanied with dreams of the great Merlin himself. He was dressed as a pauper, his long, gray, beard flowing around his waist and he was talking to me. This story is part of White_Shadow's_Nasty_Stories. 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