****** Ice Queen by Jennistoy ******
===============================================================================

Ice Queen


The following story is for readers of legal age or readers who have interests
which lie in the direction of BDSM. If you have comments or suggestions, feel
free to E-mail me at Jennistoy@hotmail.com. I do try to answer any and all that
I get. You can also find me on line under Jennistoy for Instant Message, (I
will not accept an IM if you do not have a profile), or you may check out my
website at http://home.talkcity.com/BoomerSt/jennistoy/index.html.

Chapter 2

"You wanted to see me Trish?"

"Yes, sit down Leroy." I handed him his final check.

"What's this? A bonus?"

"No, it's your final check, I have warned you both verbally and in writing and
you haven't changed your work habits. I have to let you go, I can't allow the
other employees to nurse you through your little problem."

"You're firing me? Are you kidding?"

"Leroy, there is a nice severance, all your vacation, well, what you haven't
used up. It should be enough to support you for the better part of six months.
Your membership at the club is good through the end of the year. I suggest you
get your act together and forget everything that has happened to you in the
past two years."

"I can't," he whispered. "I can't forget. I don't want to forget."

Leroy's wife and child had been killed in a car accident two years before. Now
keep in mind, I was not unsympathetic, but life goes on and he really needed to
climb out of the pit before someone filled it in. I hoped he responded to this
firing, and would be able to fix his life before it got too bad. I would
continue to keep tabs on him and if it looked like something was not happening,
I was going to have to take some action. I didn't want my old friend to suffer
anymore than he had to. I reached out my hand.

"Consider this an extended vacation. If you can't find anything or you start
feeling worse, let me know, I'll find something for you to do around here to
keep you busy that will help you get back into the swing of things. After all,
you didn't die with them."

Leroy looked up at me; his eyes full of tears and said quietly

"Trish, I know you mean well, but since you don't care about anything or
anyone, you can't possibly understand what I am going through or how much that
comment hurt." He drew himself up to his full height and continued. "Do not
worry about me, I will take care of myself one way or the other, I don't need
an Ice Queen to numb my feelings and emotions for me." Then he stalked out of
the room.

I sat stunned on the couch. What the fuck had I done to deserve that? I had
told him the truth, but to be treated this way? I was concerned and worried, I
had lost a good employee because he refused to pull himself together after the
accident. I had to fire a long time friend because he refused to quit the role
of grieving father and husband.

Well fuck him, I didn't need the extra aggravation. Let him take his check and
go, let him try to make it out in the world with out help. He owed me damnit! I
had put up with plenty in the past two years and he could just kiss my ass!

I got up and stalked around the office pacing fast. I stopped in the middle of
the room and pulled out the middle drawer of my desk. I rummaged around till I
found a pack of cigarettes. I fished around some more until I came across a
book of matches. I scraped one on the strip and sucked greedily at the cancer
stick. I strode to the window and flung it open. I crawled out on to the fire
escape and draped my legs over the side while I sucked the cigarette down to
nothing.

When only the filter was left I remained sitting there swinging my feet,
watching the traffic go by. Soon I felt calm and had filed away Leroy's tantrum
as a man who needed help. He couldn't have meant any thing personal about me;
he was depressed, clinically depressed. I should have gotten him a shrink,
instead of a severance. By the time I crawled back in, I was feeling better
about life and my own opinion of myself was back where it should have been.

Ice Bitch indeed I gave to charity; I worked with those less fortunate than me.
I was an upstanding citizen if you discounted my love for what some called
immoral acts. I was a business owner who worked well with the other members of
my community and worked hard to maintain a good relationship with my neighbors.

Of course giving him his check left me with out a manager, but the employees
could handle it for two weeks. It was just too rough to deal with all the extra
issues that arose from not being able to find him. They could call me or Sherri
if they needed a decision made.

I went upstairs and got dressed for the evening and went down to the club. I
was going to do the demonstration so I needed to get the equipment set up. When
I walked in I saw the cage had been delivered. We hooked it to the center chain
and then I went in search of the stocks with wheels. I brought those over and
made sure that everything was centered on the bolts in the floor.

Michael brought me a coffee and I settled into the couches and watched the
flames. I was hidden from casual view over here so I could just relax. I had
only been sitting there for a few minutes when someone knelt beside me. I
studied the form next to me before acknowledging them.

"Yes, can I help you?"

"You are the Mistress of Club DeSalle?"

"I am."

"The man at the bar sent me over. I heard you were looking for a new
submissive. Well at least that is what the word is. I have come to offer myself
to you."

"Where did you hear that?"

"Mistress, it is said that you are selling your live-in submissive and that you
have placed an ad on the web for a new one."

"Where did you hear this?"

"Mistress it's the only thing the unattached submissives are talking about. We
have all seen your ad from yesterday; you have been a big subject in the chat
areas. Everyone is wondering why you are selling Christa and getting a new
submissive."

"Does Christa know?"

"No Mistress, I don't think so. She never comes online with out you there."

"What is your name?"

"Jack Mistress."

"Leave Jack, the submissive I seek has little experience and I get the feeling
that you are not that submissive. Thank you for telling me that I am not as
sneaky as I thought."

"But Mistress."

"Leave, now"

He bowed out and left me on the couch. I was not worried about what he would
say, because he knew I would know whom to trace it back to. Irritated, I
noticed my coffee cup was empty. I got up and strolled over to the bar, and
leaned on it waiting for Michael to free up.

I was looking around when I saw the cup being taken out of my range of sight
and turned to talk to Michael but I realized that it wasn't him. The back I was
looking at belonged to a man but that was where the similarity ended. This
person's back was wide and narrowed down to an ass to die for. The legs were
strong and bulging in the black jeans he wore. Down the center of his back hung
a black ponytail and I could tell from this angle that the front and top of
that pitch-black hair was spiked. He turned around and I saw the dark outline
of a beard that was trimmed closely and followed his jaw line. His face was
narrow and looked to be chiseled. The cheekbones were high, the jaw was strong
and his nose was straight and aquiline. His eyes arrested me. They were a dark
liquid brown, with strange flecks of green in them. He smiled as he brought the
coffee to me showing straight even teeth that seemed to glow in his face.

"Ok, I don't know you. You're new?"

"Yes Ma'am. Michael hired me this morning."

"Trish," I said as I stuck out my hand.

"I know and I know you take your coffee black and strong. I'm Scott." He wiped
his hand off on his apron before shaking mine.

"You ever worked a BDSM club before Scott? It's different."

"I serve drinks, how different could it be? Besides, I am here to 'work, not
gawk." I chuckled and nodded toward Michael.

"You've been talking to Michael I see. He can be a bit gruff, but he is a good
guy. I trust him completely." Scott looked over and watched Michael talk to a
Dom at the end of the bar.

"I like him and I'll give him no cause for complaint. So I hear all of this is
yours. You must be a very good business woman." I shrugged,

"It was inheritance more than anything else. This was all I ever wanted to do
and it afforded me the opportunity. You only want to tend bar?" He flashed that
grin at me again and said, "Nope would like to own one though. I would hire
someone else to run it and still work behind here."

He poured himself a cup as well and leaned on the bar with me.

"After all, you meet some of the most interesting people working behind a bar."
He raised his coffee cup in salute and took a sip.

"It's not bad from this side either," I responded as I raised my own. Again I
got that grin and we sipped in companionable silence. Michael strolled down the
bar and smiled as he clapped his hand on Scott's shoulder.

"I see you have met my new right hand. What do you think?" I looked at Scott
over my cup and smiled.

"Yes, he is very nice. I think you did well. I assume you prepped him on all
the dangers he could encounter here." Michael burst out laughing,

"He has more social graces than I do and can handle himself with any man or
woman. Don't worry Trish. He'll do you proud."

"Well if you picked him out, I have no worries." I gently patted Michael's face
and told them I would go back in my corner if one of them would hand me my
book. Michael handed it over, checked my cup and sent me on my way. I curled
into the sofa and started to read. I was once again swept up into Mary
Stewart's version of Arthur and his kingdom. I was not due to start the
demonstration until 11:00 so I had plenty of time. It was only 7:00. I heard
someone clear their throat a bit later I looked up and there was Scott,
coffeepot in hand.

"Want more?" I ran my eyes over him, settling briefly on the bulge in the
jeans, sighed and got my coffee cup and offered it to him. He settled down with
me and asked to see the book. I handed it over and he smiled slowly as he
looked at it.

"You know, I think that Merlin let people see what they wanted. Like when he
snuck Uther into Ugraine. They had to climb the cliff to Tingel and who is to
say that Ugraine's people didn't want to see Uther, rather her husband. He
played out a fantasy for all of them. Kind of like what you do here. You allow
people to play out their fantasies. That can be a really good thing sometimes,
other times, playing the mighty Merlin can be very lonely."

I looked at him and shook my head.

"I am too busy to be lonely, I am constantly working and doing new things. It's
the quiet times like this that I don't get enough of."

"I didn't say you weren't busy, just lonely. You know that Michael loves you
don't you?" As my jaw dropped, he went on. "His eyes follow you wherever you
are. He blushed when you touched his face and then told me to mind my manners
around you." He studied me. "You didn't know did you? How could you miss that?"
I shook my head and replied,

"You have to be mistaken, I have known Michael for the better part of 10 years.
He has never indicated anything like that."

"Course not, you're the boss. He isn't going to tell you something like that.
That would be career suicide. He loves you enough to let you go."

I snatched the book from his hand and started to read again. I was confused. I
didn't understand why he said what he said. I was not a loveable person. He had
to have been mistaken. I was about to speak when Scott spoke again.

"He may be afraid to tell you, but I am not. You are a very beautiful woman
Trish; you have an inner light. The sad part is no one can get through that
glass wall you've erected around yourself." He leaned over and looked into my
eyes. "Let yourself live, enjoy your life, or you'll be old before your time."
I stared at him as he walked away. He looked over his shoulder at me and
grinned. Discomfited I returned to my book, but I couldn't keep my mind on the
timeless story. I got up and strolled to the bar.

"Scott I need to see you in my office please." I walked to the locked door at
the end of the bar and unlocked it climbed the stairs and waited for Scott to
follow. He seemed to be in no hurry, which irritated me even more. "Please
close the door." He did and leaned against it as I rummaged in the desk for a
cigarette. When I finally found a pack he had his lighter at the ready. When I
glanced up he smiled and said,

"Bartender school."

I nodded and inhaled deeply off the cancer stick. I hated those things, but
every once in a while I needed one. It was not a good sign that I had indulged
in two already today. I looked at him and started on my tirade.

"First of all, I don't appreciate being spoken to that way. I am the employer
and you are the employee. Second of all you have no idea what Michael feels. I
have known him for a long time and he has never shown any signs of being in
love." Scott watched me and smiled.

"Were you looking?" I shot him a dirty look, went to open the door and said,

"We are not going to discuss this again, you don't know me well enough to know
that I don't like people sticking their noses into my business. It never
happened ok?"

Right as I opened the door he shut it again and trapped me between the door and
him. His hands were on either side of my head and he just looked at me.

"Trish, you're scared. Why?"

"I am not."

"Yes you are, you're trembling like an aspen leaf in the wind. I can see your
pulse in your neck, it's beating quite hard." He bent his head and laid his
lips on my neck, caressing it with them softly. I felt the merest brush, of a
heat, that if given the chance to catch hold, could burn me alive. "Your
breathing is rapid and shallow, I could feel it over my ear when I kiss your
neck."

His lips were mere fractions of an inch from mine and suddenly they were right
there. They were so soft, tracing the contour of my mouth, burning against my
lips. His hands crept up and held my face, tenderly cradling my cheeks,
enveloping them in warmth. I couldn't move. The touch of his lips and hands
held me spellbound as though at his touch I was no longer in control of my
responses or myself. The world spun and came to a stand still. Time passed but
it had no meaning. Slowly the kiss ended and I was left feeling bereft with out
his touch. I trembled and looked into his eyes. He watched my eyes and briefly
met my lips again and moved away and exited the door. I stood in my office, the
cigarette smoke swirling around me and suddenly annoying me.

There came a knock on the door, jolting me out of my daze,

"Come in." Michael came in and looked at me.

"Trish, are you ok? What did Scott do that was wrong?"

"Huh? Oh nothing, I just wanted to talk to him about the rules around here and
how he should handle the patrons. I know you had already gone over it with him,
but I thought better safe than sorry."

"Trish, are you ok?"

"Hmm? Oh yea Michael, just preoccupied, I have a lot on my mind. I let Leroy go
this afternoon and hired someone to take his place this morning and just have a
lot going on. But thanks for asking." I walked over to him and laid a hand on
his. He got really nervous and pulled away. Scott was wrong, I thought to
myself, if anything he seems to not like me touching him.

"Sure thing Trish, was just a bit concerned. You seem a bit, well, lonely
today," Michael said as he walked out the door. There was that word again.
Lonely, what a word. Since when did not having a significant person in your
life mean you were lonely? I was fine. I didn't need someone to cling to or
cook for. I was self-sufficient.

I walked over to the window and peeked out. My office was on the upper floor
from the shop and I could see people coming and going. I watched people hold
hands and stroll. I watched as they walked briskly by themselves. How did I
walk I wondered. Did I stroll, looking around me, or were my hands in my
pockets, my head down and my legs moving as fast as I could with out being
awkward.

I had never considered how others saw me. I looked into the mirror on the wall.
I smiled into it. The smile never reached my eyes. I could see how Scott could
equate me to the great magician that knew his own demise. How could one really
share in joy if you knew it was only fleeting, that happiness ends, that all we
do is just an act for the benefit of others and ourselves. That very second I
felt the wall around me crumble and my very core seem to melt. I broke down in
tears, in my office, watching people walk by. I sobbed like a child. I wanted
to run from the place screaming. I realized that there was no way I could go
through the demonstration tonight. I called Mike up front and told him to call
the Doms and let them know I wasn't feeling well. I was going upstairs and
going to bed.

I locked the door to the office, climbed the stairs that took me to the top
floor and entered in the flat. I saw Christa making dinner and I sent her to
John's place. I told her to take her things; I gave her some money and locked
the door. I made a few calls cancelled the appointments for later in the week
for her sale and removed the ad. I locked all the doors and windows in the
flat. I stripped off all my clothes and dived into the shower. I stood under
the scalding hot water mixing it with my tears. I was devastated at the
shambles my life was. I wasn't a real person; I was like a holoprogram. I was a
character that had no emotions, no connections, no one to care. If I dropped
off the face of the earth, my passing would not devastate anyone's life. It
would possibly inconvenience them till the new job was found or until a new
club was built. I sank down in the shower, scrunched against the back wall in a
little ball and sobbed like a baby. Suddenly I could see Leroy's problem and
how his little family had encompassed his world. I wanted someone to mourn me
like that. I wanted to be able to mourn like that.

Slowly I dragged my self out of the shower and went dripping to the bed. I fell
on top of it, and curled up into a little ball. I had stopped crying at some
point and could feel the chill of the air on my wet skin. Eventually I made my
way under the covers and fell asleep.

I woke the next morning to the phone ringing. Almost in a daze I waited for the
voice mail to pick up and then shut the ringer off. I stumbled to the bed and
crawled back under the covers and pulled them over my head. The only person who
had keys to the flat was Christa and she had left them. I vaguely remembered
her crying as she left.

Sometime later I heard pounding at the door but was too tired to go answer it.
I burrowed deeper into the bed and closed my eyes again. But was returned to
reality by a pounding on the inner door from the office. I picked up the water
glass by the bed and hurled it at the door.

"GO AWAY," I yelled. The pounding continued a while more, but finally subsided.
I drifted again. I dreamed of children, babies really. Little ones held in my
arms with funny brown eyes. I remember crying into my pillow more and then
drifting again. This time accompanied with dreams of the great Merlin himself.
He was dressed as a pauper, his long, gray, beard flowing around his waist and
he was talking to me.

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