Storiesonline.net ------- New Horizons by hammingbyrd7 Copyright© 2004 by hammingbyrd7 ------- Description: A young woman who is a Nobel laureate teams up with an undergrad. Codes: MF ScFi rom 1st humor sch cons het doct ------- ------- Copyright© 2004 Author's note: This story is a sequel to Dances With Poodles, a story of Laura's childhood in Bosnia and her high-school years in Wisconsin. ------- Chapter 1 "Maggie, you can't be serious! There's no way I'm going to ask your brother to do this." "You won't have to. I'll ask him for you." "That's not what I meant!" "Really Amy, it'll be fine. David's a real sweetie-pie when it comes to helping people. I'm sure he'll agree." "Maggie, that's not the point. I'm a guest in your house, and for God's sake, I just met your brother yesterday! Won't he be embarrassed?" "Oh no... Well, maybe a little... Actually, maybe more than a little. But my brother is so hopelessly shy when it comes to girls, this will probably do him some good anyway..." "Maggie, look at my face carefully, closely study the smirk upon it..." "I'm serious! Well, sort of. Getting into a sexy situation with a woman his age might really do him some good. Help him be more relaxed around females later." "Maggie, this wouldn't be a sexual situation!" "Oh, I know. From personal experience, I know. David let me practice on him before my own Practicum exam. It really helped my technique. I got top marks." "You practiced on your own brother?" Amy whispered. "Sure, why not? About half a dozen times too. He blushed a bit when I first asked him, but he agreed. Didn't ask for anything in return either. I told you, he's a real sweetie- pie." "Oh, Maggie, I don't know... Wait a minute! What would your parents think if I catheterized your brother just for practice?" "Well, I'll give you that. They'd probably be squeamish about it. But they'll never know! They'll be gone all afternoon. David's in the shower now, and I still have some unused tube kits and KY jelly. This really is a perfect opportunity... You practiced on the Life/form models, but never had a chance to insert into a real human penis, right?" "Well, no..." "And it would help you to get some real feedback, right?" "Well... Yes it would." "It's settled then. Why don't you wash your hands in the second bathroom, and we'll ask David when he comes out of his shower." 10 minutes later... "David, my dear brother! Can you come in here?" "Sure sis. Just let me just throw some clothes on, I'll be back in a minute." "No, I mean come right now." "Huh? Okay." David walked into his sister's bedroom wearing a damp bathrobe. "Hi Amy! What's up Margaret?" "David, I'll get right to the point. Remember how much you helped me prepare for my nursing qualifiers? Amy will be taking her own Practicum right after the Christmas break, in less than two weeks. Will you help her too?" "What? Oh! Oh... Well, ah, yeah sure, okay... Err, the way you're smiling Maggie, do you mean like right now?" "Yep! Here, lie down on my bed. Ditch the wet robe first. Remember to bend your knees..." Maggie walked over to the door. "I'll be downstairs. If you need me to call 911, just give a holler." "What!? Oh... Very funny sis. You're not staying?" "Do you really want your sister to chaperone this?" "Uh, I guess not. Bye." Maggie left the room and closed the door. David, still standing in his robe, looked shyly at Amy for a moment and then gave her a warm smile. "All joking with my sister aside, I'm really am very happy to help you Amy. It just took me a few moments to change gears." "This was your sister's idea; I would never have had the nerve to suggest this myself. I am grateful though, this really will help me... Ah, if you're ready, why don't you get rid of the robe and lie down on your back? Maggie's right, remember to bend your knees. Close your eyes if you like, just get comfortable. I hope to be very gentle. Tell me at once if there's any pain." David disrobed and lay down on the bed. Amy tore open the sterile seal on the kit and coated one end of the tube with KY jelly. She noticed that David's eyes were closed, and decided to give him a verbal description of what she was doing. "I'm right-handed. I'm holding your penis now with my left hand. I'll be inserting with my right... Just to be super cautious, I'm wiping down the penis head with a bit of alcohol... Okay, ready to begin. David, when was the last time you urinated?" "Uh... When I woke up early this morning I guess." "Excellent! I should get a good visual feedback on the tube then when I penetrate your bladder... I'm holding your penis at a right angle to your body. This will give me a nice straight path for the catheter..." Amy gently squeezed the penis head until she popped open the urethra slit. She placed the lubricated tip into the opening, but instead of beginning the insertion, she sighed and just thought for a moment. She noticed that David's eyes were still closed, and as she looked as his naked body, it occurred to her that he was quite fit and pleasant to look at. She withdrew the catheter tip from his slit and rested the insertion bulb on the sterile inside of the kit. "David, your penis is fully erect. It would still be possible for me to catheterize you, but your urethra tract is now stretched tight. It would be uncomfortable for you to be penetrated now, for me to force my way through all your erectile tissue, and there's no medical need for me to do this to you. We should stop." David blushed, still keeping his eyes closed. "Oh, I don't mind. I know my sister. She would never have suggested this if it wouldn't help you... I can try to rest for a minute, think dull thoughts, see what happens..." "Are you sure? Really sure?" David kept nodding his head. "Well, okay. Thank you... Ha! Did this, ah, problem happen with you and your sister?" "Gosh no! Well, maybe I got a little erect, especially the first time... But nothing like this... Maggie had cool hands... Your hand is nice and warm... But I think the real difference is that she's my sister. I don't know if she's told you much about me. As a teenager I was hopelessly shy around girls. I've been making an intense effort to be more social and gregarious recently, but my shyness is still here. Outside of my sister, I've never had anyone my age even give me a close hug, let alone have a beautiful girl hold my penis like this." "Ha! You think I'm beautiful? We should stop." "No. Give me a chance to think about something else... Tell me about yourself." "You want to know about me? Okay... Actually... David, this is something I haven't done in years, but I know a sure-fire way of relaxing a male out of an erection. Let me pet your scrotum while I tell you about myself." Still holding his penis in her left hand, Amy's right hand cupped David's testes, and she began to stroke her fingers in the rear of his scrotum, lightly penetrating into the sac between the two testes. David gave a deep sigh of pleasure, shuddered and then relaxed. "I was born and grew up in Wisconsin, in a small town in the way northern part, near the Apostle Islands National Park on Lake Superior. It's beautiful country, gorgeous. Pristine stretches of sand beaches, sea caves, lots of old-growth forests. I have two wonderful parents who love me dearly... This is working David; I can feel the blood starting to drain from your erectile tissue... As a young child, I had a group of four other girls just my age who played with me. We all lived within a couple of blocks of each other. We became very close friends. I'm an only child, but we five hung out together so often it was as if I had four sisters. I'm starting the insertion now... I'll just go in an inch and stop for a moment... There! Good! That felt very smooth." Amy right hand returned to caressing the testes in his scrotal sac, her left hand quietly maintaining her hold on his softening penis. "Later on in the fifth grade and then once again in high school another girl joined our group. All seven of us were on our high school soccer team. I think of all of them as my family, that I have six sisters. We don't often see each other now though; we went our separate ways after high school... I'm going to continue the insertion now... I was a little spoiled growing up. Nothing awful, just unprincipled. During my sophomore and junior years in high-school, I became quite promiscuous. I was so lucky not to suffer the consequences; no pregnancies, no diseases. My sisters, one in particular, her name was Laura, finally talked me out of my insane behavior. It's so amazing what caring love can do... David, I think I've penetrated down to the base of your penis now. I'm going to continue, it'll be another few inches, until I feel the resistance of hitting the release valve on your bladder." "My senior year in high-school was pretty quiet, dating-wise. The few boys who did ask me out were just looking for an easy lay, and I had trashed my reputation so fully that the other boys didn't want to bother with me. I chose nursing as a profession, got accepted at a great school in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. I starting rooming with your sister as a freshman, we've been together two and a half years now. It was so nice of her to invite me to be with you all for Christmas... David, did you feel that resistance? I'm positive I'm at your release valve now. I'm doing to push through. You might feel a bit of a pinch, but it should be no more than that. I expect to see urine in the tube as soon as I do. You won't be able to control it, just relax and let yourself flow. I'll be penetrating another 3 to 4 inches as soon as I get visual feedback on the tube, to make sure I've cleared the valve area and am fully inside your bladder. There... You've flowing nicely..." "So, I've been studying nursing for two and a half years now. I'll get my RN degree in June, and then two more years for my Masters of Nursing degree. I'm very happy with the quality of my school, it's first rate, and I love my profession... You finished draining; I'm going to start withdrawing the tube. This shouldn't hurt at all, tell me if it does... And as for dating for me, it's still been pretty quiet. A few casual friends, but nothing serious. And that's okay with me. I'm taking my time, putting a lot of effort into my studies... I guess what I'm trying to say is don't be embarrassed by not dating yet David. Maggie and I are both 21, and you're 20 right? All three of us have our whole adult lives still ahead of us... There! All done. I'll get rid of the urine bag for you. Feeling okay?" "Yeah. Ready for some honest feedback?" "Oh yes! How did I do?" "Amy, you were superb! And I'm not just saying that. Maggie was never as soft as you were, and I think Maggie is quite good at what she does. But you were so gentle, the process itself was rather pleasant, something I wasn't expecting at all. And Amy, I really... well, I'm really touched by how much you opened up to me. I understand how much you're trusting me. I'd like to do the same, tell you about me, return the trust... If you have the time..." "Oh sure! I'd love to. Let me just dispose of this bag. You can put your robe on. I'll be right back." "Hey folks!" shouted Maggie from downstairs. "You're not going to believe this, but my parents are back! Their car is pulling into the driveway. Are you finished?" "Yo!" shouted David as he grabbed his robe and headed for his room. Amy ran and stopped him with a hand on his bare shoulder by the door. She reached up and kissed his cheek. "We'll find some quiet time to be together. I promise! I'd love to hear about you..." Amy stole a glance at David as he ran naked down the hallway. ------- Chapter 2 "David, wake up. It's me, Amy." "Uh? What?" "Ssshh... Whisper!" "Oh! Okay. Amy, what's wrong? What time is it?" "Everything is fine. It's about 1 A.M. The house has been quiet for over an hour. I thought I could chance coming to you now." "Coming to me? Aren't you cold standing there in just a nightgown?" "Actually, I am. Could I jump under the covers with you?" "Ah... Sure, okay. Wait! I'm not wearing anything." "That's okay, I don't mind." David scooted to the far side of his bed as Amy pulled back the covers and climbed in. They lay facing each other, the full moonlight through the windows falling across their blankets, allowing them to see each other clearly. "Hi David." "Hi... Amy, why did you come here?" "I wanted to know if you still wanted to talk... Your family is so social! These last three days were packed with activities, and seeing the Broadway play was great! But tomorrow I fly back to Wisconsin for the rest of my Christmas break. We never had any quiet time..." "Oh... I've been thinking about you too... About how you kissed me three days ago... You came to my bed to honor your promise? Wow..." "Well... Someone I respect very much taught me how important it is to honor promises. But it's not just that. I wanted to come anyway. I've been having a battle these last three days with my old urges to be promiscuous, something I haven't had to fight in years. I think you're cute! But I won the battle. I didn't come here for sex; that would be grossly inappropriate. I came here for friendship... I must say though, it's nice to lie here like this... But we can't do anything that could get me pregnant, okay?" "Huh? Oh no! Of course not! I promise! Ah... This feels so nice! I never realized lying next to someone would be so warm. This feels... delightful... I've been having so many thoughts about you Amy, and I keep meeting you in my dreams at night." Amy did not reply. She just reached up and began petting the side of his head. David smiled and sighed, and a short time later turned and lay flat on his back. Amy scooted over and closed the distance between them, lightly pressing the length of her body against his. David gave a shudder of pleasure. "Are you sure this isn't another one of my dreams?" "Oh, I'm here David... You know, your sister might seem a little domineering when she's with you, but she's actually incredibly proud of you. I've been hearing how smart and kind you are for the last two and half years, and now I've finally got to meet you!" "Yeah, I know... We're just a year apart, but I am definitely her little brother. She's very protective of me. It's a good thing too. There was a time in my life that I really needed her protection..." David was quiet for a while, collecting his thoughts and enjoying Amy's light caresses of his forehead, and then he began to speak. "My sister and I were both born in Pennsylvania, but we moved to the Albany area north of here when I was still an infant. Right from the start I was off the charts for development. I think I learned to read before I could talk. Ha! Well, almost... But I was an avid reader before I hit kindergarten. Kindergarten was just playtime, but in first grade I was totally bored, I kept asking why we were spending time on such obvious stuff. The school already had me in their gifted program, but the teacher was kind enough to let me do my own reading after realizing how thoroughly I knew the class material. The school bumped me directly into third grade the following year. It helped a bit, but not much. For my birthday present that year, I asked my parents to sign me up for an adult evening course in speed-reading. I was the only 7-year old there..." "The course was like a key unlocking the world for me. I could finally absorb information at a rate that would challenge me. I got up to reading over 5,000 words per minute, while still maintaining perfect scores on the comprehension tests. I even began to speed-read technical books and journals, not at 5,000 wpm of course, but still speed- reading... The other adults in the class really supported me, I became a celebrity. But when I got back to my school... Well, the other kids didn't like being blown away in the academics like that. I started being teased... and attacked..." "For a few years it was manageable. There'd be good quiet months, separately by occasional incidents of being jumped after school. And then Maggie and I hit junior high together. The puberty hormones kicked in with my older classmates before me, and I just didn't understand the social situations. I started hiding out in secluded places in the school during breaks and lunch, to avoid being mocked. Maggie would often come and find me in the school basement and we would eat lunch together..." "There was a really ugly incident in the seventh grade. There was a group of kids that were just plain mean, and with parents that just didn't seem to care. One of the kids followed Maggie and found out where we were eating lunch... They set us up the following day..." David stopped for a while, trembling and not saying anything. Amy dropped her hand and petted his stomach. With her hand resting on his hip bone just to the side of his pubic fur, she leaned over and kissed his cheek, and then his ear, and whispered, "David, there's no need... I can just pet you if you'd like..." David sighed and turned, hugging Amy and pressing her body against his. Amy could feel the tension leaving his body, being replaced by a different tension as his stiffening penis began to press into her abdomen. "Amy... Beautiful and good Amy... I... I want to tell you... I want to trust you..." Amy nodded her head, and then curled up and snuggled by David's side, petting the hand that he rested on her hip. She waited for him to continue. "I forget the exact ruse, but two boys kept Maggie busy in the cafeteria while the main gang came down to the basement... They made a circle around me... There was no place to run... They just mocked me at first... I thought if I just stayed passive they would just go away... It was all so stupid! Senseless cruelty! The three girls in the gang jumped into the circle and started to beat me up. I didn't know if I would be beaten worse by striking back, or not resisting. I just collapsed to the floor. The girls started kicking me. One girl kept trying to kick me in the head... I was really frightened, and hurting, and I didn't know what to do... I started to vomit from a groin kick..." "Maggie broke into the circle. There was a lot of screaming. A couple of the boys started to punch Maggie. And I didn't do anything! I was petrified. I just lay on the floor with my arms around my head, trying to protect myself from a head kick. I took a really nasty kick to my arm; it lifted half my body off the floor. And then the screams got really, really loud. I heard adult voices, and I finally opened my eyes. I saw Maggie's dress covered with blood." "But it wasn't her blood. She couldn't win against her attackers; they were both too strong. But she was so furious with the girl who kept trying to kick my head that she grabbed her arm by the wrist and elbow, slamming the arm down while bringing her knee up and slamming it up into the center of the ulna, snapping the bone in two. The blood went everywhere, and it shocked the other kids into ending the fight..." "Maggie's action went to court... Fortunately the full truth came out. The gang never could get all their lies straight, and all the evidence and testimony from the other school kids were on our side... All the evidence, my entire body was covered with bruises... Maggie had some damage to her face... The judge ruled Maggie's action as justified... Maggie is so amazing sometime. She calls me her sweetie-pie for being kind to her, as if she doesn't deserve kindness. I would lay down my life for her, I really would..." David hugged Amy's body against his. "Oh Amy, you are so beautiful! All softness and warmth and so beautiful..." David and Amy kissed, their passion building as the silent moments flowed. David shuddered as he felt Amy's tongue offering to enter his mouth. He began to suckle her tongue into his mouth, and then gasped when he felt her hand close around his penis. Amy turned and laid her body on top of David's, straddling him and holding his penis tightly between them. David could feel Amy sliding his erection into her pubic fur, shifting her body, rotating and positioning her pelvis in a way he didn't understand. Amy reached over and gave a quick sharp nip to his earlobe, and as David gasped in surprise she returned her tongue to his mouth. Her nightgown had ridden up from David caressing her hips, and David suddenly realized he was caressing the naked flesh of her buttocks. He felt a slick, warm moisture starting to coat his penis head and shaft, with Amy's hand urgently pressing and guiding his erection. He broke their kiss and looked into Amy's eyes... "Oh, don't stop David..." "I must! Remember my promise?!" "No... Oh! Yes! Sweet and thoughtful David, thank you!" Amy rolled off his body, returning to his side, slowly catching her breath... "Wow!" "Yeah..." "Thank you David! I was seconds away from mounting and riding, coupling with you... Thank you David, for your kindness..." David slowly let out a deep breath and smiled. He turned to face Amy, kissing her cheek once and then again. His hand came up and tentatively held Amy by her ribcage. Amy patted his hand in acceptance, and then returned the smile. "How did it all end?" "Maggie was okay. She has a tremendous amount of spunk. I'm sure you know. I wasn't as tough. I started to stutter when I was in the presence of girls my age. My parents thought it would be better for Maggie and me, especially me, if we had a new beginning. We moved to New York City. I went to a private all-boy prep school. It was good and bad in a way. I calmed down, but I didn't have to face and overcome my trauma with girls. The school realized that academically I was way beyond them in math and science. They talked with my parents about college, but my parents realized I wasn't socially mature enough for that. I wound up taking lots of liberal arts classes, languages, history, music and poetry, stuff like that. I could read super fast, but I was just bright- normal in the classes. I fit right in with the other students. It was nice... I also took up karate. It helped build up my self-esteem... Shotokan karate; it's a hard-style karate... The mental discipline of it really helped me. My sensei thinks my technique and my katas are excellent. He says the only thing keeping me from my first-degree black-belt is my sparring. I'm just not aggressive enough..." David smiled at Amy and continued. "Ah well, I can't act against my own character. And math and science are my real passions anyway. In prep school I devoured books and journals. I spent my time teaching myself through undergrad and then graduate level math and physics courses. And then in June three and a half years ago, just as I graduated prep school and got accepted to MIT, I read a journal article that changed my life." "Ha! Let me guess! Was it the first reality-creation article in Physical Review Letters?" "Wow! Amy, how on earth did you do that?! Do you read minds?" "Oh yes. Any female can read a male's mind once she moistens his penis with her vagina. But the great sisterhood of all females would be furious with me if they knew that I have revealed the secret. You must promise never to betray me!" "Amy, I promise I will never betray you. Seriously, I swear by our friendship." "And I return the pledge. I will be your faithful friend for as long as I live... It would be hard to be more than that, to be lovers... We just won't see each other after tomorrow..." "I know." David sighed. "I know..." "So you really like the new quantum interface physics, huh?" "Oh, yes! I'm delighted you know of it. I'll be graduating M.I.T. in June. My top choice for grad school is Cal Tech. That's where the great Dr. Hamm spends most of her time. My next choice is Princeton. The great Dr. Hamm also has a professorship there..." "The great Dr. Hamm!? Ha! You make it sound like an official title! Ha! Ha! Ha! HIC!" "Oh, don't object! The great Dr. Hamm is the greatest mind in history! Amy, what?" "HIC! Did you ever try to laugh in whispers!? It's giving me the hiccups! Wait! Ha! HIC! Oh dear..." On a playful impulse, David bent down while moving his hand up from Amy's ribcage to the soft underside of her breast. Cupping the yielding flesh in his hand and raising the nipple to a vertical position, he gave her feminine bump a swift nip with his teeth through her nightgown. Amy gasped in surprise. "There! Did that cure your hiccups?" "My gosh, I think it did!" "Ah, I should patent this idea..." "Right..." "But Amy, Dr. Hamm really is great. You shouldn't have objected." "Oh, it's not that, silly! The person you call the great Dr. Hamm, I call Laura." "You've met the great Dr. Hamm?" "Met her!? I practically lived with her for three years. She joined my soccer team in high school as a sophomore. I love Laura as my sister, and she loves me just the same." "Wow! Yikes! Really!?" "David, calm down! You'll wake your parents!" "Oh, right... Wow! Do you still talk with her?" "Well of course! Laura is now at the house of Jill and Jamie, another two of my honorary sisters. All seven of us girls will be at my home with my parents tomorrow night... I was planning on calling Laura tomorrow morning, before we leave for the airport. Would you like to say hello?" "Wow! Yes, you bet! Wow!" "David, hush!" "Oh. Right. Okay... How often do you get together?" "Well, we parted ways two and half years ago, as we were graduating high-school. We've all come together these last three Christmases. We also came to Sarah's wedding, and then to Jill's wedding. We also all came back to Wisconsin about a year and a half ago, when Laura's Aunt Irene died. Her great aunt, actually. It was so sad. If she had lived another six months, she could have seen Laura getting her Nobel prizes in math and physics... All seven of us were there in Sweden. Laura invited us all. It was the only time I've ever been out of the country. It was a magical time..." "I remember seeing it on T.V..." "Yeah... So many records being made. The first person to win two Nobel prizes at the same time, the first teenager to win a Nobel... The first person ever to receive a Nobel prize in mathematics... The Nobel Committee opened up a whole new category of prize just for Laura, her creation of the new mathematics is that fundamental... I was so happy for her. And the party afterwards was fabulous!" "I had forgotten the part about her being a teenager then. I keep thinking of her as a lot older." "Laura will turn 21 at the end of March. She's your age, within a few months... Oh David, it's so nice to lie here with you..." Amy lightly petted David's body, neither speaking for a long while. Finally Amy said "I must get back to my own bed... I hate the thought of leaving you David; hate the thought of never coming back to your bed... But I must go..." "Yes, you must go... Goodnight Amy, I love you... I love you as my dear friend... Ah, Amy, before you go, could you... well, perhaps help me with a fantasy I've been having?" "Sure! What do you have in mind?" "I've been dreaming a lot about how wonderful it felt when you petted my scrotum three days ago, so soft, so sexy, so relaxing. I've been dreaming of falling asleep while my sac is being petted. Would you pet me there? To put me to sleep..." "Oh sure! I'd love to!" David lay flat on his back as Amy sat up and placed both her hands on either side of his groin. "Spread your legs a bit more... That's right... Oh David, you are such a handsome male!" Amy lowered her head and sniffed his penis. "Why David, for some strange reason, your penis smells a bit like a female. This really should be cleaned..." "Huh? What?" "And I'm the one that soiled it too. Thus I should be responsible for cleaning it, don't you think?" Amy began to kiss the penis in her hands, running her nose and then her tongue along the shaft, cleaning her dried lubrication from it. As the penis began to stiffen, she gave a long kiss to the sensitive head, licking and gently suckling the soft top-skin. She then slid the throbbing erection deeply into her mouth... David was gasping uncontrollably at the pleasure of it. "Oh Amy... Are you sure?" "Hush, David. Yes, I'm sure. I want you to cum. Allow me to be a vessel for you. Cum inside of me... Inside my mouth..." Amy returned to her suckle. She slowed David down, just a bit, but she could feel his virgin eagerness to ejaculate, and in the end she decided not to try to fight his quick desire. David was thrusting his penis into her mouth, his hips in a frenzy of quick jabs. Amy skillfully used her mouth and hands to simulate a moist and eager vagina. As she sensed David's orgasm about to explode, she lifted her suckle to his penis head, allowing her hands to rhythmically contract and pump between his ejaculation spurts, suckling his sperm into her body. David shuddered and collapsed. "Oh Amy..." "Hush, my love. No more words, not now... Turn on your side... That's right... Lift your knees towards your chest... There my love, that's right..." Amy fingers began to caress his scrotum from behind. She bent her head down and sniffed his sac. "Perhaps I should clean here too," she thought playfully. "You never can be too careful with these things, you know." Amy's tongue joined her fingers in caressing the skin surface of the sac, and in gently penetrating to caress the testes within. David shuddered with delight, his relaxed body losing its ability to move, and his mind losing its ability to think. Amy kept up the gentle caresses, continuing long after David fell asleep. She could still feel his body trembling with delight. He finally entered a deep sleep, becoming totally unresponsive. Amy gave a last feather-light kiss to each of his testes. "Goodnight, my love. God be always with you." She slipped silently back to her room. ------- Chapter 3 Ring... Ring... "Hello?" "Hello, is this the great Dr. Hamm?" "Ah, Et tu, Brute? Or should I say, and you too Amy? Hi! How are you?" "Hi! I'm fine. Christmas was wonderful here in New York, and I loved meeting my roommate's family. How are you? Except for me, is the nickel all together?" "I'm fine, and yes, everyone is here. Our honorary family's newest member is here too. Sarah and Bill brought Benjamin over yesterday! He's so adorable! Just wait till you see him! And it'll be so nice to see you again too, Amy." "Oh, I feel the same! I'll be leaving for the airport in about an hour... Laura, I think I have one of your biggest fan club members here with me. He's graduating MIT this year. You might even have seen his grad student applications to Cal Tech and Princeton, I'm sure you're on both review committees, right? Anyway, his name is David. I promised to let him say hello. Let me put you on the speakerphone. Here he is!" "... Uh... Hello? Dr. Hamm?" "Hello David! It's very nice to meet you. Amy tells me you're applying to both Cal Tech and Princeton. Both faculties will begin to review the grad student applications in January. I haven't seen any of them yet. Are you thinking of the physics departments?" "Uh... Yes, that's right. Actually, Dr. Hamm, you might have already read a paper I published in Quantum Interface Today last summer. It outlines how to use n-gram multi- wave-function entanglement to theoretically set up a new type of quantum interface instability. I left it as a puzzle to the readers as to why such a phenomenon should be called a chatterbox resonance. Have you read my paper?... Hello?... Dr. Hamm?" "My gosh... My gosh... David and Amy, is there anyone else there that can hear this conversation?" "What?! No, not now Laura, but the rest of David's family will be back within a half hour. Why in the world do you ask?" "David, I know who you are now. It's a great pleasure for me to meet you. I can't wait until we can start working together in the fall. In the summer if you can come then." "Well, I haven't been accepted yet." "David, you're forgetting whom you're talking to..." "What? Oh. OH! YO! This is fabulous! What a Christmas present! Thank you, thank you Dr. Hamm!" "Laura, my question is still pending..." "I know Amy. Cloak-and-dagger stuff is usually so absurd in pure science, but this is an exception. Trust me Amy?" "Okay. I do trust you. I'll leave the house too if you want to talk only to David." "Hmmm. No, I return the trust. You can stay Amy. I've mentioned this to Jill too. I need people to help me check my moral compass, just as everyone else does. I value your insight and character, but tell absolutely no one else. Most of the physics of this conversation might escape you, but perhaps you'll see the moral issues involved, depending how this conversation evolves... David, may I ask you, do you have any new publications in the pipeline?" "Oh yes, a whole basketful of them!" "Oh dear. Are any already submitted for review?" "Oh dear? Uh, no. Doing the theoretical work itself is a lot more fun than writing it up for publication. For some reason that's beyond me, the whole quantum community seems to be missing the main point of the experimental interface exploration, to create consciousness in the lab. I'm not worried about being scooped. All the papers being published are heading in other directions. I don't think any of them will lead to the main issues. I intentionally used the common and incorrect formalism in my paper to show how bad it is, and left a clue with the name chatterbox to point to the right direction. It'll all be made clear in my next paper. I'm just about to submit it." "David, do you know if anyone picked up your challenge?" "No, Dr. Hamm. It was very disappointing. The referees of the paper raised some vague objection, about how physics papers just don't do challenge puzzles like this. But it was only one sentence in a large paper. They were happy with everything else. In the end, they decided just to let the matter ride." "And no one else contacted you about this?" "No. It was very disappointing. Even my undergraduate thesis advisor ignored the issue." "Whew! Then I think the genie might still be in the bottle! David, I was fascinated by your challenge! After weeks of studying your paper, I finally realized you were referring to whistler modes in space plasmas, in the magnetosphere, right?" "Well of course! Once you re-write the math in the formalism of whistler mode reflections, it's obvious that this particular quantum resonance has the power to self- organize into trillions of harmonies. It's obviously the canonical formalism for this, trillions of interlocking whistles, complex enough to support the creation of a consciousness, one supported by a harmonious chatterbox of whistles." "Obvious for you to see David. A struggle for me to see. And I would guess completely opaque to everyone else in the field. Which is a very, very good thing. I can't tell you how much I've struggled about how to find and approach you about this. There's so much I want to tell you, and I have such fears of our world standing at the edge of a chasm of unknown depth. You certainly have the right to express and publish your discoveries, but... I want to explain, but I'll describe my request first. I want you to promise to seal discussing this approach with anyone, until we can discuss this at length. These discussions might take months, or longer. The moral issues involved are that profound." "Wow Dr. Hamm, that's a heck of a request... Amy, I trust you completely. Do you have any counsel for me?" "I have only the dimmest understanding of what you two are talking about. About all I can say is that Laura is the most principled person I have ever met. Her guidance to me has been invaluable. I trust her completely." "Ha!" laughed David, "So the question becomes, is complete trust associative? I will take the leap that it is. Dr. Hamm, I promise to seal my thoughts on this for as long as you want to keep discussing this with me, no time limit. I will trust you completely. You have my word." There was a long pause on the phone. Laura let out deep sigh. "Thank you, David. You have my sincere gratitude. I can't describe my relief." "Laura, I see David's folks pulling into the driveway." "Then we should end this conversation now. David, I have a standing invitation to give a guest talk at MIT. Will you be there during the independent activities period in January?" "Oh sure. It's the best month of all to be at MIT." "I agree. Science is best approached in playfulness. David, we'll meet next month. I will subordinate my schedule to yours. Please give Amy your contact information for me... Thank you for your trust. I am profoundly in your debt. Well, goodbye to you both. See you soon Amy!" ------- Chapter 4 "Hi David! Throw your bags in the back and hop in!" "Hi! Thanks for being so prompt! It's cold out here!" Laura drove away from the Braintree subway station, heading for Route 3 South. "Do you know the way, Dr. Hamm?" "I think so. The maps are pretty straightforward... Thanks for remembering not to call me Dr. Hamm out in the open at the Redline station. I really appreciate you not minding all this cloak-and-dagger stuff. It must seem pretty ridiculous..." "Mind Dr. Hamm? I'm having the time of my life! I feel like the undergrad who came in from the cold! Literally! Even for Boston, this is cold!" "About -20C, I think. A bit chilly." "A bit chilly, Dr. Hamm?" "Well, very cold compared to Cal Tech or even Princeton. But I spent three years in upstate Wisconsin when I was in high school. Getting through winters there is serious business." "I bet..." David looked at the maps and rechecked their schedule. "We're in fine shape, time-wise. I know the route. I'll point out the turns if you like. Making the 7:45 PM ferry at Woods Hole will be no problem even if we hit some traffic, and we're not going to hit any traffic. I think Martha's Vineyard is going to be almost deserted." "Sounds good to me. Perfect, in fact." "I googled a picture of the hotel suite. It's nice. I'll be very comfortable on the couch. The ferry docks at 8:30. It's just a short drive on Beach Road from Vineyard Haven to Oak Bluffs. We should be all settled in by around 9:30. Reservation is confirmed through till next Sunday. Do you want to get started on the physics tonight Dr. Hamm, or just sack out and start fresh in the morning?" "Ah... David... You've been so kind to help me set all of this up without asking for the details of the purpose, but... in the interest of a true cloak-and-dagger operation, could you just call me Laura for the next week?" "Wow! Sure, an honor, Laura." "Ha! You use the word honor the way I use the word. Not too many people in the U.S. pay attention to the true meaning of the concept. And to answer your question, I think I'll be ready for sleep after we get there. I owe you a lot of explanations though. If you want to get started, I suppose we could work for a bit." "Oh no. I tend to be an early riser. Just punching out for the night will be fine." "Great... Thanks again for keeping the ferry and hotel reservations in your name." "Oh, I'm enjoying this so much, I'd be happy to share the real costs with you." "David! You are an undergrad, and I have more money than I know what to do with. Just a few years ago I was watching my expenses very carefully. Now my book royalties are greater than my Nobel prize money, which was more than $10M for each, and I'm getting fat salaries from both Cal Tech and Princeton. Don't be ridiculous!" "Well, if you put it like that..." David said with a smile. He gazed out the window for a while, and then turned and watched Laura drive... "What David?" "Oh, I was just thinking how different you look, between now and when you gave your talk in Kresge auditorium. Your talk was fantastic, by the way. But I've never seen you in a ponytail and blue-jeans before. It makes you look a lot younger! Err, am I stepping out of line?" "Huh? Oh no, not at all. In fact, our cover is a romantic vacation. We made sure we were seen together before and after my talk. Perhaps we should also try to act like a couple on the island, just a bit. My hope is that I'm never recognized at all. I haven't traveled around the Boston area, and I haven't worn my hair in a ponytail since high- school. Easy to play soccer like this." Laura shook her head playfully and wagged her ponytail. "I've been mostly wearing my hair up to look a little older when teaching. Almost all the undergrad seniors are older than I am, let alone my grad students." Laura looked very thoughtful for a moment. "David, if I am recognized, our story is a romantic tryst. I was very reluctant to ask you to risk your reputation with me like this. I know you've said okay, but... Is this really okay?" "It's wonderfully okay Laura. I've dreamed of working physics issues with you for the last three years. To also have the opportunity to socialize, to develop a friendship with you perhaps... I really can't describe how happy I am. And as for my reputation, Ha! My rep right now is that of an amiable nerd who doesn't know the first thing about girls. If our cover story comes out that I got a beautiful young woman to spend nine days in a hotel with me on a vacation island... Well, my reputation is going to shoot way, way up! I was more concerned with your reputation actually. Is it okay for faculty to get involved with undergrads?" "You're not a student at my schools, it's not an issue. If you were though, things might be a bit... well, delicate, but perhaps manageable. I've had discussions about this with the department heads and administration of both Cal Tech and Princeton. Cal Tech was a little more relaxed about the issue. They realize my age is in the undergraduate population. They don't want even the appearance of sex getting exchanged for grades or research opportunities. I agree fully with them on this. They left the matter somewhat open-ended as a kindness to me. That if I ever did have a romantic interest with a student, just to be open about it and bring the matter to them and see if we could work things out..." David nodded, and looked at the traffic for a few minutes. "Laura, I do recognize your concerns, the need for a cover story, at least at a high level. Knowledge that we are collaborating would draw attention to my paper in Q.I.T. At a low level, I just don't know why this is such an issue. There are major pieces of this I'm just not getting. I have been making some guesses though. I can't wait to start working with you and seeing if some of my guesses are right." "Ah, just a bit more patience David. I have a lot to tell you, about a completely personal experiment I did based on your theoretical work... I think things will become clear to you very soon..." ------- Chapter 5 "Laura, wake up." Laura opened her eyes. She appeared to David to have trouble focusing, and her whole body continued to tremble. "David? What? David?" "You're either very sick, or having hell's own version of a nightmare. Do you need a doctor? I don't think you have a fever..." Laura woke up enough to realize David was sitting on the edge of her bed, lightly petting her head from her temple to her ear. Laura was silent for a moment, collecting herself, feeling herself calmed by the gentle caress. "The latter. There is no need for a doctor. What was I doing? You are all dressed?! Is it morning?" "No. A little after 2 AM. I looked at you from the door, and then got dressed before coming in here. I didn't want to do anything inappropriate..." "What was I doing?" "Crying... No, softer than that... Whimpering... And shaking... It looked kind of scary..." "It was a very vivid dream. I've always been a very vivid dreamer, even as a young girl. Sights, sounds, smells, touch, emotions... Oh, the emotions! Almost as real as awake... This dream was a memory of something particularly horrible..." "I've read your biography on the web. I know you're an orphan from the Bosnian war. There was no description though of the details. Nor should there be... Amy's plane got delayed a bit at the airport. I asked her what it was like to live with you during your high school years. Amy holds you in incredible esteem, and she is also discrete. We didn't speak about your past..." "Yes, Amy is discrete. And I am discrete. And you are not. I mean that as a compliment. I am shy in many ways, and am discrete in support of my shyness. Amy tells me you are shy in some ways too, yet you manage not to be discrete. How is this possible, how do you do this?" David continued to caress Laura's head as he pondered her question. "I am shy, but the rewards for reaching out to people are fabulous. It feels wonderful to pet you like this in friendship. I'm trusting that you know I'm trying to be affectionate and not sexy... For the last several years, I've been pushing myself to be more social... And somehow, I think I'm still missing the gist of your question..." "Ah. I was thinking of your conversation with Amy at the airport. Amy has an extremely high opinion of you, and I think her judgment of character is excellent! But you gave Amy explicit permission to tell me everything she knew about you. Amy and I talked at length... I was very interested... Why were you so indiscrete?" "Oh. In our phone conversation that morning, you made it quite clear that our collaboration would be not just on physics, but also on moral issues. To collaborate on morality, I thought it would help you to understand who I am." "Of course! Thank you... Amy told me about how you were mocked as a child, how you were beaten, how you were saved by your sister..." David continued to stroke Laura's head, allowing the caress to brush lightly over her ear and continue down the side of her neck. He gave her a warm smile. Laura smiled back, and the smile lit up her eyes. David bent down and kissed her temple. "The hardest part in some sense wasn't all the physical pain, but the fact that I just lay there on the floor while Maggie was fighting. I was so deeply ashamed that I didn't rise up and stand by her side. That I slipped away from a duty to be courageous..." "Exactly! My grandfather intentionally started an argument with paramilitary murderers in order to give me an opportunity to slip away. He was shot to death minutes later. I felt the exact same guilt... The dream I just had was a sharp memory from that time, two days after he was murdered. I was alone, and frightened to death, and my mind was filled with despair and loss, and my heart was full of hate." David was just silent for a moment, absorbing what Laura had said. "Laura, these must be extremely painful memories. I don't want to drag them out of you. Won't that increase the pain?" "I don't know. But you are right, the rewards for indiscretion and reaching out to people can be fabulous. You are offering me both friendship and affection, and I want to accept the offers. I want to return some of the trust you're giving me..." Laura reached up and held the hand that was petting her head, moving it to her lips and kissing it. Releasing his hand, she sat up and began to tell her story... "It was about three hours before dawn when my grandfather was murdered and I started to run from the paramilitary. I was fifteen at the time, trying to force myself to act and think like an adult, but feeling all the emotions of an abandoned child. I was a farm girl. I knew if I could reach the deep forest, I'd have a decent chance of survival. But I was in flat farm country. In American slang, I was a sitting duck. My plan was to go to ground during the day, and head for the forest at night. That first night I got lucky. I entered a partially burned building just before dawn, and found a good hiding place inside. The floor felt sticky under my bare feet." "Dawn came, and I realized that the building was full of corpses. I think the paramilitary had herded a group of people into it, and then had thrown in grenades through the windows. Most of the bodies showed obvious blast damage... Some where shredded..." Laura just stopped for a while, and then her lip began to tremble. David reached down and took off his shoes, and then slid across the bed to sit by Laura's side. He reached up and put an arm around her shoulder. After a moment, Laura sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. David bent his head and rested it against Laura's. She continued her story. "The corpses were actually protecting me. The smell and the bloody floor were keeping the paramilitary from searching the house. But I was too inexperienced in being hunted to recognize this. I left the house after dusk, ungrateful for the service the corpses had given me. I think I made about 10 kilometers that night. I still had another 30 to go before I could reach the deep forest..." "I chose a clean, empty building for sleep shortly before dawn. It was a terrible mistake. I woke up less than an hour later from the sounds of brakes squealing on a jeep. The house was surrounded by my enemy. I looked around the room in panic, there appeared to be no place to hide. But the walls were of very rough stone. I climbed them with my bare hands and feet. I got up to the truss roof, and stretched myself flat on one of the main cross beams..." "A few minutes later the men entered the room. They talked calmly about their designated locate-eliminate grid areas for the day. I realized they were turning the building into a command center. I remained motionless on the beam. It was a bit thinner than my shoulder width, anyone looking up intently would see the slight curve of my body. But the ceiling area was dark, and there was no reason to look up and stare..." "It was the first day in July, and the air at the ceiling was beastly hot. The day lasted forever. I was terrified and dehydrated. I worried that my sweat might drip off the beam, revealing me. I did not dare fall asleep, even though I was exhausted. Just one sound or movement from me, and I would have suffered a slow rape followed by a quick bullet..." "In the late afternoon, I think there was some unexpected meeting happening nearby. A high-ranking person was to give a pep talk to the troops. The building was left vacant for a brief while. I managed to make it outside and hide in a ditch until nightfall..." "I had learned my lesson. I slept with corpses for the following days, pulling their bodies over me, moving at night until I finally made it to the deep forest. I was relatively safe there. The deadly game of hide-and-seek went on, but I became very good at becoming invisible. Physically I was pretty safe in foraging for food and water at night, and going deep to ground in the day." "But in the shadows of my mind, my dreams had become a horror. My fear of the war had turned into a huge monster, in the shape of a gigantic black ostrich. In my dreams I called it the war-bird, and it was hunting me. In every sleep I dreamed I was naked, with the war-bird searching for me in the darkness. I was forced to walk and even crawl across corpses to escape, feeling their blood and their bodies beneath mine, hoping that the corpses would forgive me for desecrating them. About three months earlier, my mother had been raped and butchered, and my father and twin brother shot to death. I helped identify their bodies. I also lost my two younger sisters to a sniper... Katja was 9, Natalie was only 7... In my dreams, I had to crawl across my family's torn bodies, over and over and over again..." Laura let out a soft wail of despair and collapsed into David's lap. "Oh David, the guilt and the hate were tearing me apart!" Laura broke down in sobs, weeping into David's lap. Her cries were so soft David could barely hear them, but he felt the sobs racking her body. David's mind was in turmoil, desperately searching for some idea that would comfort her. At a loss for how to comfort Laura's mind, he decided to try at least to comfort her body. He turned off the lights and put a pillow under her head, and then curled up right behind her, covering them both with a sheet and blanket. He put his arm around her shoulder and tried to hold her as gently and as chastely as he could, resting his face next to the back of her head. Laura continued to sob silently in his arms... Time passed and eventually David thought that holding Laura was beginning to help. Her body had stopped most of its shaking, and she was breathing in slow deep gasps, and letting her breath out in long sighs. She reached up and pulled David's hand and arm away from her shoulder, and David at first thought she wanted him to let her go. But then Laura wrapped his arm around her waist, across and below her stomach, and she let out a deep sigh as the last of her shakings ended. She rested her own arm above his, holding his arm to her body and pressing her body back against his. David felt her warmth through her nightgown. "Oh, this is a fine mess... but a necessary one," she said softly. "Laura, how do you survive?" "Now, you mean? Through redemption. After a month in the forest, I was rescued by a Dutch U.N. patrol. The night before that happened, I had a final dream with the war-bird. In it, I renounced all my hatred of my family's murderers, and in His mercy God redeemed me and took away my guilt. I'm at peace now. But I'm also a vivid dreamer. Sometimes I dream of the time before my redemption. My honorary sisters in high- school were incredible. They loved me so much! Their love shielded me, shielded me not from the sorrow of these dreams, but from their pain. My sisters still love me, but we just don't see each other that often. Sometimes now, the pain slips through..." Laura shifted slightly, curling her body to cuddle more closely. "David, thank you for being with me... and holding me. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be indiscrete. I've only told one other person in my life about this, and even then not in such graphic detail..." "One of your sisters? Amy?" "No actually. Steve, Jill's husband. And he told Jill. This all happened when we were in high-school. No one else knows... I thought it necessary for Steve to know at the time. I think it necessary for you to know now, though for different reasons." "Necessary?" "Earlier this night, after you fell asleep on the couch, I was still awake, thinking about the last two days. After all our phone conversations, I really enjoyed finally meeting you Thursday evening at my talk. And tonight, riding in the car with you, standing by your side on the ferry as we watched the cold ocean and the stars, I felt peaceful and excited at the same time. In the car with you... Usually I feel very shy with young men my age. But with you I didn't feel shy at all. I felt playful! I was lying here in this bed, remembering how much I enjoyed our ride together. I remembered feeling a thrill when you were talking about your reputation, and you referred to me as a beautiful young woman. I started wondering if you really did think of me as pretty. I fell asleep hoping that you did." "David, I've never dated. In high-school my reputation as a genius made me unattractive to the boys. After high-school I went to getting my doctorate in less than a year. And learning how to be a good professor these one and a half years since... Well, I took no time for dating. I didn't have peers that were my age, and I am so shy, I didn't look for romance elsewhere. Ha! Once I won my Nobel prizes, I got all sorts of crazy offers of marriage on the Internet... But David, don't you see why this night was necessary? I don't know if you'll ever desire to date me, but if you do, these dreams are a part of who I am. As Americans say, you deserve a good look at the complete package!" David did not reply in words. He hugged Laura instead and kissed the back of her neck. Laura let out a deep sigh and pushed her hips back into David's. Over the next minutes he felt all tension leave her body. She was soon in a peaceful sleep, David feeling her calm breathing with his hand resting on her nightgown across her abdomen. David slipped back to the couch. ------- Chapter 6 After breakfast, Laura and David walked along Pequot Avenue to the shore, looking eastward at the rising sun. The road and the bicycle path along the beach were deserted. David offered Laura his hand, which she accepted with a warm smile. Laura returned to gazing at the ocean, sniffing and breathing deeply of the salt air. "Ah, that was a really nice meal. It was kind of the restaurant to be open so early, we were the only customers... I think I'm going to remember the beauty of my stay here with you forever." "I turned on the TV while you were in the shower, to catch the weather report. We really lucked out Laura. It should be close to freezing this afternoon, and well above freezing for the next several days. The famous New England January thaw! It's been so dry this last month, all the bike paths are clear of snow, and we have the whole island to ourselves! Perhaps tomorrow, we can bike down to Edgartown from here. It's only about 5 miles, hugging the shore line all the way. It's beautiful! And sometime we can drive to the southwest end of the island, you don't want to miss the hikes along Lighthouse Road. And the State Forest in the center of the island is very nice too..." "I take it you've been here before!" "Ha! Yes, my parents used to bring Maggie and me here on summer vacations sometime. This place is a real tourist trap then. So crowded, sad in a way. But now, it's empty. So serene! And almost as beautiful as you are." "David, are you thinking of this as our honeymoon? Wait! That was unkind. I shouldn't joke like this." "Oh no Laura. I'm hoping you and I are feeling the same emotions. I find myself thinking a lot about you, how pretty and wonderful you are. I find myself wondering how to tell you yes to your uncertainty last night; that I really do want to date you, without being clingy... I really, really don't want to do anything to drive you away from me. It's a little nervous fear mixed in with a huge desire to pursue and capture you!" Laura said nothing for a while. Then she reached over and hugged David's waist and kissed his cheek. David noticed her eyes were moist with tears, but they were also brilliantly alive from the smile on her lips. "My heart is like this too, a whirlwind of hope and anticipation, mixing with a sharp fear not to do anything to blow my chances. And our current hotel living arrangement is not ideal for a courtship dance..." "I know. I feel it too. We need time, time to come together and move apart, time to test our bonds, time to judge the movement from independence to interdependence... Laura, how about we pledge not to get too sexy with each other while we're here on the island. Learn how to care for each other first. I'm afraid of getting too sexy with you too fast... as something that might later drive you away. But I'm thrilled at the thought of being affectionate with you now!" "Yes! Thank you! These are my feelings too. David, I feel the same struggle within me, between a desire to be honest and a desire not to be clingy and blow my chances. But my desire to be honest is winning out. I know my own heart, and I want to be indiscrete. I want to tell you that I love you." The two stood by the ocean, side by side, leaning their heads together and watching the waves. After a short while, Laura smiled at David and pulled on his waist, beckoning him to follow her back to the hotel. "We have so much to work on. Thank you for being so patient with me... If you remember, earlier this month I called you from the Max- Planck Institute in Garching. The Germans had this really nifty cross-shredder in a store. It cuts in both the X and Y directions, producing little flakes of paper less than 1 mm square. Almost silent too... I have one in my suitcase... Let's remember never to leave any notes around that are not in our immediate possession..." "Okay. Wow! My darling secret agent has returned! I can't wait to be briefed on our mission!" A short time later they were sitting by their table in their suite, a large pile of blank notepads nearby. Laura looked at David, smiled and said, "Before we dive into the physics, let me ask you something. How did you get your idea for the chatterbox resonance? Could you lay out the steps you took from the current understanding of what's published in quantum interface physics, to your new idea?" David thought for a long moment, the frown on his face deepening. He doodled on a notepad, drawing idle circles and arrows... "I'm a little embarrassed, but I guess I can't. The idea hit me all at once. I can't see how to make logical steps from the current models to chatterbox." "Oh, don't apologize! It was like this for me too. Over the last year, I had become somewhat pessimistic in my thoughts, of how progress could be made from the current standards. They appear to offer only two possibilities for consciousness, and both seemed to have major problems. I was a little perplexed that so many others in the field didn't share my reservations... Your paper depressed me even further. Nowhere have I seen a clearer example of what I was worried about. I think this is why your paper isn't being referenced anywhere. It's correct within the formalism, but the resulting math is so stiff and ugly..." Laura paused, and then continued. "But I was drawn to keep studying it. Your language had an optimism to it, never stating but always implying that there was a solution to all the ugliness. I think everyone else in the field just brushed off your optimism to undergrad enthusiasm. But your one sentence challenge piqued my curiosity and my competitive spirit. I stared at your paper for weeks... And then suddenly it hit me, how absolutely brilliant you are! I haven't been outgunned in physics since I passed my grandfather in knowledge, maybe when I was about 12 or 13. I quickly re-wrote your paper in whistler formalism. I was bursting with excitement. Before I had two lousy ways to approach consciousness, and now I had a dozen more, each with all the old problems eliminated!" "David, I remember a conversation with a math teacher I had in high-school. I was showing him how to solve an optimization problem correctly with calculus of variations. The textbook was using an incorrect method. Mr. Gnepp, my teacher, kept asking me how I knew the old approach was wrong, to show him the steps to lead to the correct approach. And I couldn't! The path to the correct methodology was one thought, I couldn't break it down into steps. I think this is a key example of how people think, that insight is not computable, not algorithmic, proving that the human mind is not computable." "Oh yes, I agree Laura. It fits in with your proof of the incomputable side of the quantum interface layer, that quantum counterfactuals combined with self-organization imply incomputability. I've been thinking of your challenge to me to tie this to morality. Think of this: If the human mind were computable, if the entire information of the quantum state of a human mind were input into a classical Turing machine, and the machine could calculate what decision you were about to make, then you wouldn't be responsible for your actions! Free will would be a joke, an illusion. Your decision would just be the result of a mathematical calculation, and how could a mathematical formula be held accountable for anything? Yet it's self evident that people can and should be held accountable for their actions. Thus consciousness is not computable!" "Yes! I remember a book Jill once showed me, about a study of how people solve problems. The author defined an interesting difference between how a genius solves problems, compared to other people. The author said that when he saw a normal person find a new idea, the author could often think and discover the steps that person took to their new idea. But when a genius had a new idea, he could never figure out how the person got the new idea. The new ideas were just so unconnected to the previous state of knowledge... That's why I'm hoping the genie is still in the bottle. I don't think anyone will ever see what you're talking about David, if you don't publish your next step..." "I think I see your point. And there's something that's frightening you about my ideas. I suspect you've carried them further. Am I right?" "Yes, in an experimental sense. Cal Tech has given me a tremendous amount of control in their new quantum lab. I'm both the chief scientist and the managing director. With my own money, I followed the steps implied by your paper and ordered a fullerene- microtubule matrix from Mitsubishi Chemical. Their quality control on nanotechnology is superb, the best in the business. Then I ordered the biologicals from Synengen. I have the ability in my lab to integrate the substrates with internal deposition equipment..." "Holy shit! Laura, you tried to build an LCPC on your own, didn't you?" "Yes, what you call in your paper a Large Carbon Peptide Complex. I cooled it with liquid nitrogen to provide a dump for the entropy. And then I hit it with high-intensity entangled photon pairs from an argon laser. There were enough controls on the optical bench that I could tune to the chatterbox resonance conditions you predicted." "Wow! Wow... I can think of several practical reasons why you shouldn't have been able to do this..." "Ha! David, I think I can guess some of your reservations. I would have had them too two, three years ago. But I've had the privilege to be working with first-class experimental scientists for these last years. There are so many tricks of the trade that just aren't published! I got the whole experiment up and running over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, when the lab was deserted. I was out barely $10,000 of my own pocket, and using lab equipment I was fully authorized to use. Absolutely no one else knows about this experiment..." "And the results?!" "It worked! Fantastic resonance in the self-organizing feedback loops. The LCPC was filled with chatterbox harmonics in the range of 2 Hertz to 200 Hertz." "You're working at visible light frequencies and getting resonances measured in Hertz!? Those are human brain-wave frequencies!" "I know, and just as chaotic, just as complex. After about 30 seconds of recording, I shut down and did electron and positron micro-scans of the peptide matrix." "And?" "The peptides had evolved. Evolved into proteins. Strange, bizarre groups of proteins. Definitive proof of self-organization. There was a master logic their structure, but very, very unlike anything else on Earth. Proteins had been created and pushed way, way up against the entropy gradient. I was standing there so happy, when the moral implications of turning off the experiment suddenly hit me." "Yes... I didn't think we have to deal with these issues for decades either. Oh Laura, don't feel like you've murdered a consciousness. The first experiment would have to be like this!" "There is that, but it wasn't just that David. There was something frightening in the protein structures, in the way the fullerene was connecting to it. It was conscious, but very unlike anything that's ever existed on Earth before. A human and a sponge have a lot more in common. Bizarre twisting, almost as if the proteins were trying to self- organize the fullerene into an infinity-mirror, so it could continue the chatterbox resonance without new photon pairs from the laser. I did some rough calculations, I think I turned off the laser about 5 seconds before that would have occurred. The resonance tried to start controlling its environment, David, and was seconds away from doing so. If I had turned off the experiment just a few seconds later and walked away for the night, the LCPC would have continued to evolve just from the light from the window. And what if it had a mind of pure evil?" ------- Chapter 7 "More tea, Laura?" "Yes please..." Laura held out her mug, and David poured the hot tea from the thermos. Laura gazed out at the brown and pale green hill before them, rolling down to the black rocks and the gray ocean. "This is so beautiful. Having a last picnic breakfast was really a nice idea. And the view here of the lighthouse is so grand! Bravo, David!" David smiled and glanced at the time on his cell phone. "To make the ferry in time to catch your plane, we'll have to start heading back within the hour." "I know... I'll have so many memories of our time here... One of my favorites is the, what did you call it? Oh yes, the widow's walk. The small high balcony at the top of the house, where a sea captain's wife would pace and watch and wait for her husband to return... There's a certain elegance to the practice, don't you think? I think I'm going to take it up. My condo in California faces east. I'm going to find the exact great-circle path from my balcony to M.I.T., and I'm going to pace very morning and stare towards Cambridge, and dream of the time my true love will return to me..." "Laura, you're such a sweet girl, I don't know if you're joking or not..." "I'm not joking... Well, maybe just a little. Maybe I'll only do it six days a week..." David and Laura stared in each other's eyes for a moment, and then they both burst out laughing at the joke, their voices echoing softly against the gentle sound of the surf. David sighed, kissed Laura and smiled. "We made a tremendous, tremendous amount of progress in the last week." "Yes, we augment each other. The theoretical advances are huge. I have a much better understanding of what we're dealing with now." "Laura, your grasp of combining theory with lab engineering is fabulous. I'm blown away how quickly you designed the integrated communications / diagnostics arrays..." "It was your theoretical leap that showed me how to do it. Your intuitive understanding of the core of chatterbox is much greater than mine... Of course, whether we'll ever have the nerve to do any of this... well, it's still an open question, isn't it?" "Yeah. What's the first law of robotics Laura, from Asimov's I Robot?" "That a robot will do nothing to harm a human, or through inaction, allow a human to come to harm." "And what's the first law for a chatterbox resonance to follow?" "Nothing at all! There are no laws in free-will! It can never be locked. We've proved that rigorously in the mathematics over the last week. Consciousness is self-focusing, the thoughts organize themselves. But there can be principles in free-will. And the best we can do is communicate, and teach the chatterbox principles. And the principles we will teach will be good principles. But the chatterbox can choose to follow them or not, and even if it does decide to follow them, it might follow them in pride and conceit. The choice will not be ours, nor perhaps should it be. Free-will owes its ultimate accountability to God alone." "This will change the world..." "I know David... I'm not sure I've got the guts to do it... I'm so glad we'll be making the decision together. I'll need your guidance in this... Ha! It's amazing that funding wouldn't be an issue. We could buy a house, and do all the development in our basement. I estimate, soup to nuts, the lab set-up would cost less than $10M." "Sounds like a lot of money to me! I still haven't gotten used to how rich you are Laura!" "I've been pretty quiet about it, but I should tell you. $10M is barely 10% of my current post-tax worth. I got intrigued a couple of years ago, hearing all the stories of people getting wiped out in the stock market. I don't know if you know this, but I've got the same office Richard Feynman once had at Cal Tech. It's quite an honor. Dr. Feynman had a sign in his office, and now the sign is in mine. It says YOU CAN'T FOOL NATURE. But it turns out you can fool a marketplace. Marketplaces have a wondrous ability to have perception create its own reality. It's the same with the human mind and with chatterbox! You just won't see this in classical physics. I modified the generalized form of a self-enfolding flow tensor to appreciate the fact that a market can be fooled., and then turned the mathematics loose on the market data..." Laura paused for a moment, breathing in and enjoying the salt air, and then continued. "It's a fast market, my average hold time is less than a month, something I wasn't expecting... My average profit per trade after commissions is just over 6%, for both the shorts and the longs. With leveraged trading, I've more than tripled my investments last year... Making money is embarrassingly easy. I almost feel a bit guilty, having such a competitive advantage against all the other traders. I've been thinking of stopping, at least for a while. Oh, one more thing, this is all our money now, not mine. I'll give you a walkthrough of my trading system too, when you have the time..." "Laura?" "David, we've pledged our love to each other, we've done everything except to sexually express our commitment. I want to share everything in my life with you, the money is a rather small part of it. Don't ever fear that I might worry that you pursued me for my money. I know your heart, you've given it to me, and have accepted mine in return. David... I'll be a complete novice when we start to have sex..." "It'll be the same for me... Well... This is a bit... awkward... Amy is a dear friend to both of us. Amy and I got sexy with each other..." "Oh, don't be embarrassed! Amy hinted that you did. It's in the past, before we even met! I don't mind. When Amy was talking to me about you after Christmas, she was actually a bit of a match-maker. She kept telling me she might have finally found me a boyfriend who was worthy of me! This was a very unusual thing for Amy to say. It really piqued my curiosity... David, I've never been anyone's girlfriend. I'll be a complete novice at first, when we start to have sex. I hope I'll be able to please you..." "Laura! I can only say what you once told me. Don't be ridiculous!" "Well," said Laura, smiling at the memory and the reversal of roles, "if you put it like that..." Suddenly Laura's eyes went wide, and she burst into uncontrollable laughter. David looked at her in surprise and said, "Laura, what!?" "I just remembered something! HA! Perhaps this is not a very unusual thing for Amy to do! She set me up with a date once before, with a real dog! Ha, Ha, Ha!" David was astonished by her language, but he could not help but join in Laura's laughter. "Wow, for sweet you to call the guy a real dog, he must have been an absolute turkey!" "No! I really mean a real dog! In high school, Jill and Jamie's dog. His name is Frodo! He's a French poodle!" "Amy set you up with a dog for a date!?" "Yes! And I don't think I'll ever have the nerve to tell you the story, not even on our marriage bed. Discretion is the better part of valor, is it not? And I need at least a little valor in my life!" Laura stood up and faced the ocean, opening her hands and stretching her arms far apart. She laughed with all her being, letting the love and the joy pour from her body, letting it ring out to the great ocean before her. She then turned to David with a smile bursting on her face, and offered him her hand. "Come, my love! Our future awaits!" ------- The End ------- Posted: 2004-12-31 Last Modified: 2005-01-02 / 07:11:02 pm ------- http://storiesonline.net/ -------