Storiesonline.net ------- Naming Convention by Shrink42 Copyright© 2005 by Shrink42 ------- Description: Love can lead you where you never wanted to be. Can you depend on it to lead you safely out? (Some codes withheld) Codes: MF mf ------- ------- Author's Note: Here is a rather short one I have had around for a while. I decided to dust it off, polish it up, and send it. I will be interested in the reactions to receiving the whole story in one submission. ------- Chapter 1 This was certainly not the way it went in all the stories. Well, actually he had only read a few of the 'geek wins the centerfold' genre, but not a one of them had anything like what he had just been through. It was his wedding night, and instead of being one of the best nights of his life, it was arguably the worst. In fact, the whole wedding process: rehearsal, wedding, reception, and all had been a disaster as far as he was concerned. According to all of the folklore he was aware of, the bride is supposed to be in her glory around the wedding, while the poor nervous groom tolerates it all for the reward in the bridal suite. Well, he had been nervous all right, but the bride, his lovely Jessica, had acted like she was a virgin preparing to be sacrificed. In fact, she was a twenty-three-year-old virgin: still a virgin at 2:30 am on their wedding night. And he, poor, lovestruck geek that he was, never saw it coming, and got no reward. To be fair, Jessica was not a centerfold bimbo. Oh, she had the beauty, only it was all natural, with no need for artificial enhancement. Probably more trim and less buxom than most men's ideals of a centerfold, she still had wonderful, wonderful curves. And her face! Her face was the equal of any model or centerfold he had ever seen. Clear, almost luminous skin; perfectly symmetrical features; full, sensuous lips; a luxuriant mane of golden hair; blue eyes that shone with a combination of lust and innocence that could spring hardons in passersby. Turns out that the lust part of her gaze was false advertising. The innocence was certainly the truth. That's what Matt could not understand. Jessica had insisted on being a virgin on her wedding night, and he had gone along with that. And she would not let him see her naked until the wedding night, either. Strange as that seemed for the twenty-first century, he had gone along with that, too. The future rewards were so awesome that he would have gone along with anything. Jessica was very passionate as a girlfriend and fiance. Her hugs and her kisses were so full of desire and promise! When they were together, she seemed desperate to keep contact with him, close contact. She declared her love for him endlessly, and he believed her: believed her enough to wait the frustrating months until the wedding. Jessica was bright, vivacious, and gregarious. Dean's list had seemed like a ho-hum accomplishment for her, and Matt had given up trying to remember the host of her friends he had been introduced to. Up until tonight, he had lived in wonder that he could capture the love of the most desirable woman on campus. Now, in his anger and frustration, he wondered if the proper term was 'won' or 'got stuck with'. How could a woman who expressed her love for him so often and with so much feeling act like she feared rape when it came time for normal marital relations. That's what had made him so angry: she had literally acted like he was about to attack her. ------- When he picked up Jessica for the rehearsal, he had noticed the nervousness, and it had surprised him. She was always the polished social animal, at ease and in control in any situation involving people. But nervous at her own wedding rehearsal? At the groom's dinner put on by his parents, she was worse. Both parents and his two older sisters pulled him aside separately to ask him about it, but he had no answers. During the wedding and reception, she seemed to dredge up the courage to do everything right and to smile properly for the pictures, but he could sense authentic fear in her eyes. Wasn't he supposed to be the one afraid of the commitment? What was going on? In the elevator on the way to their hotel suite, she was almost hyper-ventilating. He had tried to comfort her, but she would not even cuddle, something she loved so much. In their room, she would not even look at him. Her jaw was constantly quivering on the verge of full-scale sobbing. When he asked if she felt ill, she would shake her head. Asking if he had done something wrong got the same response. In the stories, the geek somehow always knew just what had to be done to make everything perfect with his true love. Where had that geek inspiration been when he needed it? He had not had a clue about what to do. He loved Jessica deeply. She was to be his soul mate, his lover. But she had acted like he was a rapist about to attack her. Love and concern had won out, and Matt had waited while she got ready for bed. She undressed in the bathroom and came out in an exquisite by not very revealing nightgown. After she had literally scurried into bed, he kissed her goodnight as he leaned over her. She had grabbed him frantically around the neck and finally spoke, begging him to come to bed with her. When he had asked again what was wrong, she still would not say anything. It was probably the opportunity to salvage the evening, but Matt was not wired that way. If her face had softened and he had seen even a little desire there, he would have been under the covers in a flash: he certainly wanted it badly enough. But all he saw was fear and panic. He had no idea how to ease her anguish, but he was sure that imposing himself on her was not the way. He could have just cuddled with her, and that very well could have been what she wanted. After the months of anticipation, though, he could not see how he could be in contact with her and not make love. He had even abstained from jerking of for several days, wanting to be at his best for her. As deeply as he loved her and as sorry as he had felt for her, his actions were also motivated by anger. Her behavior was unfair to him. He had done nothing to deserve what was happening, and she would not even do him the courtesy of telling him what was wrong. Saying nothing when she would not tell him what was wrong, he had gone into the sitting room of the suite. That was where he sat now, bombarded by unanswerable questions and the intermittent sobs of his distraught bride. ------- In some ways, Matt was a simple, unsophisticated guy. The were very few nuances to his feelings about Jessica. He loved her. Completely. Period. Every indication from her was that she felt the same way. The virginity thing was bothersome, but not unheard of. Her unwillingness to let him see her breasts and pussy was the most puzzling. He had petted her breasts many times. She always made him stop when he felt her nipples harden, and that was frustrating, but... She had never allowed his hand in her crotch, but that was probably because of her high standards. Why the reluctance to show him? Still and all, he believed they were in a love like his parents'. Her declarations of love were at least as constant as his. Good guy that he was and in love as he was, he could only assume that her wedding night breakdown was his fault. Problem was, he could think of nothing he had done wrong. In confusion and defeat, he tried to fall asleep on the couch in the sitting room. Every time he dozed off, he was tormented by a dream of Jessica walking naked toward him, the vision of that night that he had fantasized about for so long. After an unknown number of dream cycles, he stripped off his underwear and wrapped it around his painfully hard cock. It took only a few strokes for all of the stored-up semen to soak the garment. Weary beyond description, the soiled shorts dropped to the floor and he fell asleep. ------- In the morning, he was awakened by Jessica kneeling beside him. When he reluctantly opened his eyes, she asked him "Why are you out here? You're supposed to be sleeping with me." His massive disappointment combined with his meager, tortured sleep left him owly at best. "What?" he mouthed, only half awake. "You... you didn't want me there!" "Of course I did. I want to sleep by my husband! That's where a wife is supposed to sleep.' "But you were... you were... scared stiff... almost crying. Why?" She just stared at him, mouth half open, eyes frantic. He understood. "You were afraid of making love." He could see from her eyes that his comment had hit home. She looked down and saw the underwear on the floor and her eyes widened slightly. Inexplicably, she lifted the spare blanket he had over himself to see his bare penis for the first time and gasped loudly. "What?... why?..." She picked up the shorts and saw what stuck them together. "Is this?..." Her discovery embarrassed him. On top of everything else, it made him angry enough to want to hurt her. "I haven't come for a week, saving up for last night. I couldn't sleep. What was I supposed to do?" She jumped up and ran screaming and sobbing into the bedroom. Sorrow for having hurt her quenched his anger immediately, but left deep sadness in its place. Whatever was wrong with her, she could not be purposely trying to hurt him. The sadness was because he had not a clue how to handle the mess. As a reflection of his character and his love, concern for her took over his thinking. He had heard of women being very afraid of their first time. Maybe she was just more frightened than most. After a stop in the bathroom, he went into the bedroom, got some clean shorts out of the suitcase, and got on the bed behind her. When he put his arm around her, she cringed. "Honey, Honey! I'm not going to hurt you. I love you." "But... but I can't..." "Shhhh. We don't have to make love until you're ready." It was his instinctive, loving response. Not sure if she slept or not, he woke up an hour and a half later with both of them in the same position. In fact, she had both hands pulling his arm close under her breasts. When she felt him stir, she said "I love you." And he thought he was confused before! Their honeymoon flight was a day away and they would be spending the next night at his - their - house. The only reason for staying the night in the hotel was because the reception was there. The drive home was painfully quiet. Once in the house, Matt wracked his brain for some way to end the impasse they seemed to have reached. When he could not think of a way that would not hurt her, he gave up and went with his instinct. "Jessica, I think I'd better cancel the honeymoon flight." "Cancel!? Cancel!? Why would you?... Oh, no!... You wouldn't!... because of... Matt, no!... Please... I..." as she had the night before, she burst out sobbing and ran away. Dead tired, he sagged back into a chair and let himself go limp. He hated to keep making her cry, but he was not going to go on a platonic honeymoon. He was getting the idea that's just what she wanted. His heart was breaking but he was angry at the same time. After maybe twenty minutes, he went into the bedroom and sat beside her on the bed. "Honey, I guess you just weren't ready to get married yet, were you?" "Wh... what do you mean? I've been l... looking forward to this so much," she stammered. "Why?" "What do you mean why? So I could be with you?" "But not so we could make love? Have I done something to frighten you? Am I so ugly you can't stand me? Are you afraid of the pain? What is it? Please tell me!" Again the crying and fleeing response. This time, she did not leave the room, just turned away from him and sobbed pathetically. When he thought she could hear him, he said quietly "We can get an annulment. Maybe that would be the best thing." The way she started shaking at that actually frightened him. If there had been any suspicion that she was faking her tears, it was completely erased at that point. He could not bring himself to comfort her this time, so he left the room. Instead of a couch, he went into another bedroom and collapsed into a fitful nap. Something woke him later, and he heard murmuring from the master bedroom. On his way to the bathroom, he stopped by the partially opened door and listened. "... but it sounds like such a wonderful time. And it would be so humiliating to tell my friends we didn't go!... Then he started talking about annulment... can he do that?" From the conversation, he assumed she was talking to her mother. "No he didn't try to make me. You know he wouldn't do that... Yes, I think he was pretty angry... I know, you did tell me... I thought I was ready, but I just couldn't, I... Yes, of course I want to be married!" "... then this morning I found him sleeping on the couch... no, I told you he left me alone... anyway, I saw his underwear by the bed and I looked under the blanket and he was bare... well, that's not the worst thing. His underwear was all stuck together, and he told me he'd been saving up for a week and had to have relief and... Oh, Mom, do you think he does THAT every day?... Yes, you told me, I know..." Mel, his older sister, had told Matt that women tell each other absolutely everything, especially about sex, so he was not surprised. But he was both angry and depressed. He could not stop listening, though. "... I was really crying, then. I spent most of my wedding night crying... oh, its not Matt's fault... after a while he came and cuddled and told me I didn't have to make love until I was ready... no, he put some shorts on first." "Now, he's talking about canceling the honeymoon and stopping the marriage. Maybe I'd be better off... OK, OK, Ok, I know you spent a lot, and... I... I'll try!... OK, I'll do it, I'll do it! Um, thanks for listening, Mom." Matt was so stunned that he almost didn't think to leave the doorway. Instead of going to the bathroom, he went back to the bed he'd slept in and pretended to be asleep. The side of the conversation he had heard left him far too upset to actually sleep. He had a major decision to make. It sounded like Jessica was going to force herself to have sex. Should he do it, or refuse and just end the marriage? One issue that did not even cross Matt's mind right then was the lack of a pre-nuptial agreement. Everyone had urged, almost demanded that he get one, but he had refused. Somehow, it seemed disrespectful to Jessica. After all, they were going to be married forever, just like his parents. Why introduce a note of distrust like that before the wedding. It had cost him a lawyer who had resigned in protest, but even that did not sway Matt from his strong feelings. His family, of course, did not disown him or anything, but they had expressed their deep concern many times. It was one of the very few times he had gone against them. The same kind of thinking that would not let him ask for a pre-nup dictated Matt's decision the day after the wedding. He had heard enough to know he faced a serious problem, but this was his lovely Jessica. She was to be his soul mate for life. It was up to him to get them past some temporary fears and build the kind of marriage he had envisioned - one just like his parents'. He was not ready to give up on that dream. He sensed Jessica standing in the doorway of the room looking at him, but decided he would wait her out. Everything from there on had to be on her initiative or he would know there was no hope. After many minutes, Jessica came to the bed and stroked his hair gently. "Matt, Honey, I'm so sorry about last night. Come on into the bedroom. I'm ready now." It was hard to suppress a little stab of anger that it took a pep talk from her mother to get her to consummate their marriage. Well, he should get past it and just be grateful that Marie had helped. "Ummm. Need to use the bathroom first. Gotta shower and shave," he said in his best sleepy imitation. "Be just a few minutes." As he showered, the anticipation built and he began to harden. All of the months of visions of that delicious body came back in force and he knew he would do anything to have her. By the time he walked into the bedroom with just a tented towel around his waist, the trauma of the last eighteen hours was pushed back in his mind. Until he dropped the towel. The look of fear that flashed over Jessica's face when she saw him naked and erect was almost enough to drive him from the room. Never a quitter, though, and anticipating union with Jessica so much, he got under the covers and moved over to her. When he saw her face, he could see determination fighting to overcome the fear. She was as stiff as a board and it took fifteen minutes just to get her to relax enough to kiss him. He took everything very slowly, caressing only 'safe' areas until he felt some evidence of passion in her kisses. She still had the nightgown on, and he knew it was far too soon to try taking it off. When she was putting some heat into her kisses, something she had always done when they were dating, he began petting her breasts, over the nightie. Even after all the times he had done that, she still stiffened briefly. He could tell that everything frightened her, but that she was determined to go through with it. Mel had talked to him many times when he was younger about what turned women on, and he had had a chance to practice on Chelsea during his high school years. 'All you guys have to do is see a nipple or some pussy hair and you're locked and loaded', she had once told him. 'Us gals have to feel things and hear things. It's how you touch and what you say. Give a blow by blow of what you are doing to her, and make it sound like the high point of your life. Touch her like you can't get enough'. He was probably fifteen when he got that little lesson, but in his rather limited experience, he had found his sister's advice to be golden. Stroking tenderly and talking constantly, he did his best to get her ready. Every significant step, however, was a setback that required a long time to 'catch up' from. She trembled when he slid his had up under the nightie to caress the silky smoothness of her tummy. When he slowly moved up to cup a bare breast for the first time, she gasped and stiffened. It was several minutes before he dared touch a nipple, but his patience paid off when a few minutes of gently squeezing and rolling made her squirm in the first sign of true arousal. When his hand worked down toward her crotch, he lost all the ground he had gained over many minutes. When she grabbed his hand to stop it, he kissed her and said "Honey, the panties have to come off, you know. And I want to make sure you get well lubricated before I try to put me in you." Just mentioning penetration caused another trauma, but he gentled her through that and carefully worked her panties down her legs. It was mid afternoon, and while he was doing that, the covers pushed back and he got his first look at her unclad crotch. Just as he was almost swooning over the trimmed thatch of blonde hair that did not quite hide her cleft, she noticed her exposure and squeaked as she frantically pulled the covers back over herself. That was one of several times in the drawn-out session that Matt almost gave up. But he kept telling himself that it was probably fear of the first time, and that once they were past it, things would get better. The upside of all that was happening was that the feel of her body was even beyond his imaginings. It was a good thing he had jerked off the night before because several times the sensations from just touching her almost launched him. She did not want his hand in her crotch, and it took a lot of gentle talking before she opened her legs to admit him. After many more minutes, he felt no lubrication at all, and he had to break the mood to fetch the KY. She panicked when he applied a little and he had to explain why he had done it. It had been over forty-five minutes and he was dying for release. He decided things were as good as they were going to get. "Honey, I've heard it's easier for the woman the first time if she is on top." "On top? What do you mean?" "I would get on my back and you would squat over me and let yourself down. That way, you could control when we break your hymen." "Oh, I could never do that! That's... that's... no! Just put it in." "I am sorry that this may hurt," Matt told her. "You know I wouldn't hurt you on purpose, don't you." She nodded, eyes moist. Positioning himself between her legs and gently spreading them farther apart, he told her "Take your hand and guide me to the right place, Honey." "You mean touch it? I... I can't... I... you do it." Her obvious fear and distaste for his cock almost caused him to go soft, but his arousal was too high for that. It probably backed him off enough so he had a little more staying power. Ever so gently and pausing frequently for her fear to subside, he did get inserted and right up against her barrier. He gave her a heated kiss and pushed through. It must not have been very painful, for she gave just a little jerk and made no sound. By this time, he was sure he could not depend on her to direct him, so he had to go on instinct. He held himself still within her for about two minutes, then pulled back very slightly and moved forward to just a little farther than his previous penetration. It took eight or ten of those mini-strokes before his pubic bone was up against hers. At that point he took time for some circular motions against her, hoping to stimulate her clit. It seemed to work, for he felt a few small tremors ripple through her. Taking that as a signal, he began his fucking motions. The feel was once again beyond his fantasies, and she at least did not show any signs of discomfort. She was not relaxed and her face looked like she was waiting for the pain, but there were also the small twitchings that indicated she was being stimulated. Matt was highly primed, but his dismay over what had gone on had served to take the edge off. Because of that, he was able to stroke for several minutes before letting loose a generous load. When he caught his breath, he kissed her, whispered that he loved her, and rolled them both onto their sides with him still embedded. They hugged face to face for a few moments, then she apparently felt their position was somehow wrong and carefully pushed him away. He used a couple of washrags that he had stashed under the pillow to clean them up, then he lay back, holding her hand, not saying anything. Minutes later when he pulled her toward himself, she cuddled willingly and they napped. Later that day, when they went to bed together for the first time, Matt discovered something very important. As they got ready, she showed all of the same signs of fear as she had the night before. Following some instinct, he hugged her and said "Tonight, we'll just sleep, OK?" It was like turning on a switch. Suddenly she was upbeat and affectionate. In bed, she could not seem to get close enough to him, and he was able to run his hands all over her without objection. It was the first time he had been able to celebrate her glorious ass, and even through panties, it was another fantasy fulfilled and exceeded. Apparently, Jessica was a different person if she was not worried about having sex. She was the person Matt had thought he was marrying. ------- The honeymoon was all about Matt learning the different Jessicas. Having no inkling of the depth of her problem, he had selected a Carribean Island resort where the choice of beach attire was strictly optional. A large percentage of the guests were European and all combinations of topless and bottomless were seen at any given time. After checking in, they donned swimming suits and headed out. He was pleased to see that her suit was not at all prudish. It just qualified as a bikini but it was definitely sexy. They had just passed through the gate in the hotel's fence fronting the beach when they encountered a completely naked couple, probably in their early forties. Jessica stopped dead in her tracks and made like a statue for several seconds. Then, she grabbed Matt and dragged him back through the gate. "What kind of dirty trick is this?" she shouted at him. "How could you bring me to a place like this?" "Honey, this is a five-star resort - one of the best in the Carribean. I didn't think about the beach. Why is it a problem? You can wear whatever you want." "You are not going out there to look at all those naked women!" she declared. "It's... it's disgusting! It's unthinkable! You're my husband. You're not supposed to be looking at them." Right then, Matt was ready to pack up and leave. But since they had finally made love the day before, he had done a lot of soul-searching and decided that he was going to make it work, no matter what it took. Trying his best to hide his anger, he led her back to the pool area which required suits. That was as close as she ever got to the ocean for a few days, except at the waterfront shopping area in the little town. While, shopping, eating, dancing, or at the pool, she was everything he could hope for in a companion. She was achingly beautiful and he could see the reaction of every other male who saw her. She clung to him, flirted with him, and acted girlishly happy over everything they saw or did. He kept asking himself how much of her frigidity he was willing to endure for the good side of her. Not a religious person, he silently prayed for the wisdom to bring her out of it. And then there was the bedroom. The first night, he decided to waive sex and told her as they entered the room that he was not expecting it. That made her more cuddly than ever, and he enjoyed it but with an edge of sadness. The second night, he said nothing early on, but told her as they prepared for bed that he wanted to make love. He winced when he saw her jaw quiver and her eyes moisten, but he did not back down. It was marginally better than the first time. Two nights later, he went through the whole ordeal again, once more with very little improvement in her attitude or participation. For the first time, he concentrated on her clit with the intention of making her come, something he had never done to her. For several minutes, she seemed to enjoy it, but when the signs of impending orgasm became obvious, she suddenly pushed him away. "Matt, stop! Don't do that to me! I can't!" He never entered her that night and he feel asleep to her quiet crying. Except for brief glimpses when they made love, he had never seen her breasts, pussy, or naked bottom. Here in a tropical paradise, scant yards from a nude beach, on his honeymoon, and he got to see no more than the other men at the pool. Despite his vows of patience, he had had enough by the fourth morning. Waiting until he heard the shower turn off, he carefully opened the bathroom door. "Honey, I need to get some lotion from my shaving kit. Then, he slowly walked in, catching her drying herself. The brief glimpse of her naked backside hardened him instantly. Then, she partially turned and he saw a breast in profile. That almost made him come. "Matt! What are you doing! I'm naked! Get out!" she screamed. Forgetting her exposure, she pushed him out the door and locked it behind him. At that point he snapped. Ignoring his vows of patience and tolerance, he put on his swimsuit, grabbed a towel, lotion, sunglasses, and a book, and headed for the beach. He intentionally stayed away until well after lunch. When he returned to the room, she initially looked frantic, then angry. "Were you at the beach? Ogling those naked women? How could you? This is our honeymoon!" He did not want to do it. He had vowed not to lash out at her, but he could not help himself. "I'm married to the most beautiful woman in the world but I can't look at her. What else am I supposed to do?" Completely dodging the issue again, she shouted "I suppose you found someone you'd rather have than me, huh? Some slut who'll walk around naked all day." Reining in his own anger with a supreme effort, he managed to say calmly. "Jessica, the only woman I want is you, but I can't seem to have you. Now, the beach is unbelievably beautiful and I am going back out to enjoy it. Are you coming with me?" "No... I... can't... I." "OK. You have the credit card and you can charge anything you want here at the hotel. They have food service on the beach, so I won't see you until dark. If you change your mind, you'll know where I am." It was not a happy afternoon and evening for Matt. He went para-sailing, which was a blast, but he longed for Jessica's laughter beside him. He spent a lot of the time under an umbrella, reading. It was the first real down-time he had had in many months. Too bad he could not fully enjoy it. When he realized he had not eaten much all day and it was late afternoon, we went to the beachside bar/restaurant and found a table by himself. As he was perusing the menu, he had the impression of a lot of bare skin beside his table. As he started to raise his eyes to check out the visitor, his gaze was caught by a pair of bare labia, shiny with suntan oil, just like all of the surrounding skin. Realizing that he had been staring at the enticing sight, he blushed and raised his eyes, exerting a supreme effort not to pause at the full, large-nippled breasts that were on the way to the face. The face showed enough weathering and wrinkles to indicate an age somewhere well beyond forty. The other sights on the way up could have been decades younger. "May I join you," the woman asked in an accent that he assumed was French. "Huh? Oh, yes, please do," he managed to get out. Afraid that he had been rude, he stammered "S... sorry I... I stared at... uh... sorry." With a delightful laugh, she replied "I would not have pussy right in your face if not want you to look." She said 'pussy' with an 'ooo' sound. "I am Genevieve from France," and she held out her hand. He had no sooner introduced himself than she stood and almost yanked him to his feet. "Come. There is better table." On the outside of the eating area, nearest the water, they took a table that had a clear glass top. "Now you see everything," she said with a giggle. "You look like man who needs good look of pooosy." With a gulp, he asked "Why?..." but that was all he could get out. "We come here because is beautiful. And I like nude. I feel free. I like people see me." That declaration made him a bit more confident, and he responded "This people like see you, too." His mimicking made them both laugh. "Sorry if problems with beautiful young wife," she said, startling him. "I watch you at pool and in stores." It was not somewhere he wanted to go. Looking quickly at her hand, he saw the rings and said. "You're married, too." "Oui. We come here and he flies away to do business. I enjoy beach and meet nice people." For Matt, it was another fantasy fulfillment, just being relaxed and friendly with an attractive naked woman. She spoke again. "Fredrique wants my pooosy with hair. I shave when he flies away." That made the fantasy fulfillment even more dramatic, talking calmly about genitals. "I can't imagine why he doesn't like it that way," Matt surprised himself by saying. "Oh, he likes. Very much. Does not want other men to see." "So, will he be angry when he returns?" "Oui. I will get much spanking." She giggled again. "I like talking to Americans. Read and hear so much bad in France. Like to find out for myself." Dinner was delicious and the conversation very pleasant, despite the language barrier. Afterward, she persuaded him to walk down the beach with her. When they were a few hundred yards from the restaurant, she suddenly moved behind him and yanked his trunks down, causing him to stumble and almost fall. His instinctive reaction was to pull them back up, but his ego caused him to stop and step out of them. He left them by a rock at the edge of the sand. "Hmmm. I am pleased," she said. "You did not get upset. And you have a nice cock." Saying that, she pulled him toward the water. Once underway, he was happy to follow and watch the delightful motion of her bare ass cheeks as she trotted into the water. They waded out to chest deep and splashed around for a while, having a very good time. She must have seen it in his face when he thought how wonderful it would be to be doing it with Jessica. "Please, do not get upset," she said as she stepped up to him. "This is not unfaithful. This you need." With that, she took his penis and testicles in both hands, underwater, and began stroking vigorously. Her approach left him no opportunity to object, even if he had wanted to. She was right, he needed it, and he blew in a very short time, almost sagging under the water from the intensity. Recovering, he approached her and slid his hand to her crotch. "Let me do you, too," he said. Very gently pulling his hand away, she told him "Thank you to ask. You are gentleman. But I think you should not. Your bride - only her should you touch." "How did?..." "Many years we come here. I can tell. Fredrique is back late tonight. I will get good loving. Watch for my derriere red tomorrow." She gave another of her delightful giggles. "Bring bride to beach tomorrow. Do not take no. Eat at glass table, OK?" With that, they went back so he could get his suit, then they returned to the main beach. ------- Forcing himself to wait until dark, Matt used the freshwater shower on the beach and returned to the room. He later surmised that Jessica must have been waiting for some time because he did not see her in the room, but there was a light under the closed bathroom door. After twenty or thirty seconds, she came out and asked in a shaky voice "Is this what you have been wanting, Matt?" It certainly was. He saw her gloriously naked for the first time. What he really wanted was to see her naked, happy, relaxed, proud, and horny. He only got the naked part, but that in itself was a tremendous victory. She was trembling slightly with fear as he walked up to her. Ready to kick off his suit, he thought better of it. 'Take small victories and don't push' he told himself. The change was so sudden that he could not help wondering what had brought it about. Days later when he checked out before going home, the long phone call that afternoon to her mother helped to explain it. At the moment, he just wanted to enjoy her. He could have stood for hours just looking at her, but he was afraid she would crack and he would lose ground. Tears leaking from his eyes, he walked up to her, took her face in both hands, and kissed her. "You are so incredibly beautiful. Thank you!" Acting on instinct again, he told her "If you stay naked, we can just sleep, OK?" It was terrible to force that choice on her, but desperate men are forced to do terrible things sometimes. Jessica turned abruptly and almost ran to the bed and got under the covers. That certainly detracted from the magic of the moment, but he did not brood about it. Shaving and taking care of other bathroom duties took him only a few minutes, and soon he was naked in bed with her, another fantasy fulfilled. At first, she lay away from him, but that was not his intention. As gently as possible, he pulled her over so she was under his arm, resting against him as she had done before with her nightie on. Only when making love had there been so much skin contact, and he was thrilled beyond description. She, however, seemed determined to draw away. When he held her tight, she complained "But you said..." "I won't try to put it in you. I promise. Your bare skin feels so wonderful against me. Don't you like it?" She did not answer, but she did relax and appeared to fall asleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, he felt her getting back into bed, and when she snuggled up to him, there was cloth between them. ------- After breakfast the next morning, when they were back in the room and she had her suit on expecting the pool, he told her "We're going to the beach today. Both of us." "No. I can't. There are naked people there, and it's wrong." "There is para-sailing and snorkeling and body surfing and a great restaurant. The water is the most unbelievable green and the breeze is delightful. We're adults. We can stand some bare bodies. Come on." Never in all of their dating had he used such a tone with her. It must have been the newness of it that kept her from reacting, because ten minutes later, they were strolling down the beach, splashing in the edge of the surf. Each time a naked person passed them, she almost crushed his hand, and he could hear her breathing quicken, but she did not say anything. They went out snorkeling first, and she seemed to enjoy it. One of the women in their group was topless, but everyone had bottoms on. As always, all male eyes, and several female eyes, were on Jessica. Next, they tried body-surfing on boogey boards. It fulfilled some of his wish while frolicking in the surf with Genevieve the night before. Jessica was relaxing more each hour and Matt could not have been happier. She was very nervous about the para-sailing, but ended up having a blast. As they walked to the restaurant for a late lunch, she was holding his hand and swinging their arms back and forth like kids. God, how her loved her like that. Remembering Genevieve's cryptic directions from the night before, he seated them at the same table. They were just getting settled when the same bare pussy lips appeared beside him. He heard Jessica gasp and turned to see a tanned, shaved penis on her side of the table. "Hello, I am Genevieve and my husband Fredrique," she said, giving no hint that she knew Matt. He was more than happy to go along with the pretense. Questions about Genevieve he did not need. "We enjoy talking to Americans. Could we join you?" Matt stood up and introduced himself, then hauled his almost comatose wife to her feet. She was barely able to say hello. Genevieve must have briefed her husband because they both acted as if Jessica had done nothing the least bit strange. When Matt said they could join them, Jessica gasped again. It took some urging from Matt to get Jessica to eat anything, she was so distraught. He was pleased to see her gaze darting to Fredrique's package, seemingly unable to look away. Matt engaged the two in a lengthy conversation that kept them at the table for quite a while. Fredrique's English was flawless. As they left the table, Fredrique asked if the Conroys would like to share a catamaran ride with them. Matt ignored a dig in the side from Jessica and accepted. This might be his only chance to break through some of her prudishness and frigidity, and he was not going to miss it. Throughout their whole time together, neither of the French couple made any reference to their nudity or the Conroys' clothed state. As they were walking to the catamaran dock, Genevieve got on the side of Matt away from Jessica and pointedly turned her ass toward him. It definitely seemed a little red, even through her heavy tan. She smirked at him as he nodded. There was a bathroom near the dock and Jessica needed to use it. She seemed very reluctant to leave Matt alone with the naked people, but finally went in. As soon as she was out of sight, Genevieve said "Tell me your E-mail. I will remember and send." Perching on the cat offered many natural opportunities for lewd displays of crotches, and the naked couple missed very few of them. Genevieve gave Matt several winks to let him know it was very much on purpose. Jessica was so distraught she hardly said a dozen words the whole hour they were out. The French made an application of suntan lotion into an erotic show by doing each other completely, then explaining that it was so much more fun that way. By dinner time, Matt could see that Jessica had reached her limit, and said their goodbyes. ------- Back in their room, Jessica collapsed into a chair and whimpered. "God, Matt, why did you make me do that?" "Why, are you hurt? Or ill? They are very nice, intelligent people." "But they were naked! And all bare!" "But I still had a good time with them. I'm sorry you didn't." "That woman, she..." "Genevieve." "... she kept showing herself to you on the boat." "Didn't Fredrique show himself to you?" "But... but you're not supposed to look at other women's, um, uh..." "You mean their pussies? I'm supposed to look at your's, aren't I." He knew he was taunting her again. "Yes. I mean no, you're not supposed to see... How do you think it makes me feel, you looking at all those naked women?" "If I could look at the one I really want to see, I would never look at another." "But you saw me. Last night," she insisted. "And is that supposed to last me for a lifetime? Why doesn't it please you for me to look at you?" The reaction he was getting used to happened again. She did not respond and fled in tears. In the few days they had left, he did not get her to the beach again. He went by himself two more times, and met up with Genevieve, who was alone again. They enjoyed lots of conversation and a few more frolics in the surf. It was easier for him to shed his suit and she eased his tension both times. The last night of their stay, Matt and Jessica made love. That made three times on a week long honeymoon. Matt did not feel that he was making much progress. ------- Chapter 2 Matt had always disliked the term 'geek', but he had to admit that it fit him. Oh, not the acne and horn-rimmed glasses and pocket protectors of the movie nerds. He had been blessed with better than average looks and enough athletic ability to be a tough competitor at the recreational level. If being a geek meant being totally absorbed in technology to the frequent exclusion of other normal human activity, that was Matt Conroy. As the youngest of three children in a family that he would argue was the best in the world, his geekiness had every chance to develop. Since both of his older siblings were female and rather doted on him, it was easy for him to become tightly focused. Everything else in his life was taken care of, so there were few distractions. Most late twentieth-century males are fascinated with electronics to some degree. With Matt, it qualified as a passion. When he was six, his father got him a 'Learn About Electronics' kit designed for ten-year-olds, over his mother's passionate and fearful objections. From that day on, they might as well have cleaned out his toy box of everything else. All through his public school days, studying, playing sports, and even dating were momentary distractions from his real love. The studying was ridiculously easy, so that was not much of a distraction at all. Like his whole family, he was a gregarious person, so sports was a great way to interact with friends and acquaintances. He was a faithful, enthusiastic team member, and during a game was one of the few times when his gadgets were completely out of his mind. Unfortunately, the same could not be said of dating. He was unquestionably hetero, and as fascinated with females as the next teen. It was just that he only encountered one that could steal significant amounts of time from his constant projects. The father of one of his junior high buddies owned an electronics sales and repair business. Long before the legal age of employment, Matt was diagnosing tough problems for his buddy's dad. His contributions were so crucial to the business that the owner arranged with Matt's father to have compensation money put into a trust fund. Matt felt a great deal of loyalty to the man, and worked for him all through school, even though the tasks became rather mundane for him. What really tripped Matt's trigger was new technology: what it could do and how it could be integrated with what he already knew. His Dad allowed some of the money to be diverted to the purchase of new gadgets. When he reached sixteen, the two of them traveled to the West Coast to attend a major trade show that showcased new components. Every other person there was a scientist or engineer from a major technology firm. Matt made a name for himself with the discussions he had at many of the displays. More than one vendor was shocked by what the boy showed them that their components could do. A solid stream of jaw-dropping gadgets emerged from the basement area that became Matt's workshop. Many of them had no obvious practical use, but they were almost always new and unique. His interests ranged from all kinds of sensors to sound and particularly to the emerging digital imaging field. ------- Though unquestionably qualifying as a geek, Matt's family had always made sure he was as well-rounded as possible, given his consuming passion. Joyce Conroy, Matt's mother, was a stately woman whose earthy side always surprised people until they got to know her. Matt could not remember a time when his parents did not embarrass him with their flirting and sexual horseplay. It was never a secret when they headed to the master bedroom for a passionate session, and the goings-on behind the door were quite obvious as well. His expectations of marriage were shaped by the unrestrained affection and adoration that his parents openly displayed. Matt's older sister Mel (for Melanie) was six years ahead of him. One thing Matt really appreciated about Mel was that she had stopped thinking of him as a kid very early. If Joyce had known some of the flirting and sexual innuendo that went on between the two, it might have been too much even for her. Mel really did think Matt was sexy. Part of it, though, was that she figured it might be the only education he got on sexual matters. She was well aware of how mono-maniacal he was. Truth be told, Mel loved the job of educating her brother. By the time Matt entered high school, Mel was working on her degree at a top business school. Too career-oriented for any long-term relationships, she was also unimpressed with the ability of the typical collegiate male to treat a date properly. Gently but constantly, she taught Matt. It helped that their father treated his wife and daughters wonderfully, so Matt had both a good role model and a determined tutor. Mel looked the part of the rising female executive. Tall and lean, she did her hair in the predictable way and dressed in uniform. To Matt, however, that was all for show. Acknowledging that she was not strikingly beautiful, he still thought she had a very strong sex appeal. Thinking that about his sister bothered him not in the least. No harm would ever come of it. Mel knew what he thought about her and could not have been happier. Geri (Geraldine) was two years older than Matt. A younger brother that close was generally considered a pest and a nuisance to a girl, and that was true when Geri was in high school. Because Matt always seemed to be driven more by gadgets and less by hormones than most boys, though, the brother/sister friction was pretty mild. By the time she went to college, the two started to become true friends. Except for height, Geri had more of everything than Mel. Not quite qualifying as voluptuous, and like Mel not truly beautiful, she had some parts that always made male eyes snap. While Joyce, Mel, and Geri typically used 'soft' ways to teach and influence their young prodigy, Emmett went man to man with his son from his earliest years. If he thought Matt's life was unbalanced, he would present very logical explanations of why that was bad. Then, he would join Matt in some sporting or recreational activity. He even learned to play video and computer games. It was Mel who had the greatest influence on Matt's sexual development. In some ways, she was like a second mother, but early on she established that she was the one with whom he could talk about things he would never reveal to either parent. Manners were always enforced around the house, but Mel took a much stronger approach starting when she was still in high school and Matt was in elementary school. On numerous occasions she took Matt out to eat, or rather had him pretend to take her out. That was at an age when he still could not see why he would ever want to take a girl on a date, but Mel was undeterred. On all the little niceties like opening doors, holding chairs, giving an arm, following through narrow places, and even ordering, she insisted that he do it right. Hard as it was on an eleven or twelve year old, Matt had seen the social graces demonstrated at home his whole life, so it was not like training a savage. He adored his big sister and was not inclined to rebel. ------- The summer after graduating from high school, Mel made a major project of Matt's sex education, considering twelve the latest age for such an introduction. Their family's standards, and her own, forbad hands-on teaching, although she had to admit she would have enjoyed it. There was still plenty she could do to help her kid brother become a well-adjusted man. One of her main objectives was to prevent Matt from learning everything from his contemporaries. What he would get from them would be of questionable accuracy and would be completely lacking in consideration of the female point of view. From her own dating, she knew how much difference a little sensitivity made in the quality of her dates. On a walk around the neighborhood, something they did quite often, she dove right in. "So, Matt, do you jerk off every day, now?" Predictably, he was so stunned that he forgot how to walk. "God, Mel! I can't talk to you about that!" "Oh? Who do you talk to about it? Dad? Mom?" "Surrre! I give Mom a blow-by-blow every morning at breakfast." Sarcasm was so much a part of their normal interaction that even his shock did not keep him from it. "OK, then who?" "That's private stuff. I don't talk about it." "Not even to your buddies?" "Well... maybe a little." "Look, how much do those guys know about girls?" she asked him. "Not a whole lot. No more than I do... probably less. At least I know... I mean I've seen... Are you just trying to embarrass me?" "No. What I'm trying to do is keep you from being embarrassed someday with a girl." Taking his hand, she went on "I love you, Little Brother, and I'd like to think we can talk about anything. Wouldn't you like someone you could talk to about girls and sex and stuff?" "Yeah, but you're a girl, and..." "And who knows more about how girls think and feel?" Now she was appealing to his logical side, something that seldom failed with him. He knew she had a point, it was just the natural shyness of a barely pubescent male that held him back. "Back to my question," Mel broke in. "I do it pretty much every day, do you?" "You what? How do... you don't..." "I can see your sex ed class was lacking a lot," she mused. "Of course I don't have a penis and I don't squirt sperm, but girls very definitely have orgasms." That intrigued him, and for the next several minutes, they compared and contrasted male and female orgasms, to his open astonishment. "Hey," she said suddenly, "I just assumed you've got some hair and you can shoot and everything. Was I wrong?" "N... no. I can. Yeah, I do it at least once a day." "Good. Oh, I see you're going to have to do it when we get home, huh?" "MEL!!" "If I'm going to be your real buddy, you're going to have to get used to me seeing it sticking out. For a few years, it's going to be a huge problem for you - lots of embarrassment. I want you to promise me right now that you're not going go get all upset when you get hard in front of me. We're going to talk about a lot of stuff that will make you hard. Is it a deal?" He could only make a gurgling sound in reply. She stopped walking, took him by the shoulders, and turned him to face her. Then, she pointedly stared right at his protrusion. "Deal?" she asked again. "I... I'll try." "Good. It will get easier with time, I promise. Hey, how long is it now?" "What??" He was sure she was purposely trying to shock him. "Don't try to tell me you haven't measured it." That produced another strangled moan. She never let up the pressure for their whole walk. Later that evening, she waited until she heard Matt's shower turn off, then walked in on him as he was drying off. "Gotta pee!" she exclaimed, then lifted her sleeping Tee and pushed her panties down, giving him a good view before she sat down. Naturally, his eyes bugged out and his penis sprang upright. Face as red as could be, he held the towel in front of his erection. "OK, bro', drop the towel and let me see it." "But it's... it's..." "It's hard. God, I should hope so. Look, we're not going to go around flashing each other or anything, but I really want to see what kind of a man you're turning into. Please! You saw mine, now show me yours." "But you're not hard!" "The hell I'm not!" With that, she whipped off her Tee, her nipples verifying her claim of arousal. He had no choice but to drop his towel and display his raging erection. "Hey, Bro', that looks great. A few years and you're going to have the girls all over you." That little show and tell interlude was repeated only once, at the end of the summer. Otherwise, the siblings were quite proper in each other's presence. Proper, that is, except for the openness of their conversation and the frequent hardons that she seemed to enjoy producing. Mel's teaching was not constant. Most of their time together was spent as friendly brother and sister. The teaching times, though, were snuck in whenever something happened that raised a question. Just before Mel left for college, Joyce had a little talk with her. "You haven't done anything inappropriate with Matt, have you?" "I thought you must have known what was going on, Mom. No, I haven't. We have not touched each other at all. Well, unless you count his hardon sticking me while we hugged. Or my nips drilling into him." "MEL!!" Then they fell laughing into a hug. "OK, how about seeing?" "Just a few times. I though it was important." "Oh, I trust you. I just had to know. He's so lucky to have a big sister that cares as much as you do. You know, I really couldn't do that stuff." "No, you probably couldn't. You, uh, could be a lot less secretive about your goodies, though." "Huh?" Joyce was not expecting that. "Look, Matt is going to be a really sweet man, just like Dad. Why not get him feeling comfortable with some braless tits, occasional underwear peeks, a towel wrap once in a while, or a see-through nightie with no robe. And why don't you get a thong bikini for that nice ass of yours, at least in our own pool?" Joyce gulped, but thought about what her daughter had said. "Is... is skinny-dipping the next step?" "Wouldn't bother me," Mel assured her, "as long as it includes Dad. Do you have any idea how frustrated I have been for all these years?" That brought another round of laughter. Geri figured out what Mel was doing with Matt, and it created a bit of a rift between the sisters. Joyce spent several long conversations with her younger daughter before things smoothed out. Geri was definitely not inclined to participate in Matt's education, however. ------- Mel's project for Matt her first summer home from college was dancing. First, though, she needed a growth check, and she was more straightforward that time. Waiting for a chance when she and Matt were the only ones home, she walked in naked and waited for him to leave the shower. Dancing was very low on Matt's list of preferred activities, but Mel shrugged off his objections. She did spend a lot of time explaining how girls felt about dancing. It was a common tactic for her, stressing the female point of view. He had already heard it a hundred times: "Now, don't worry about understanding it. Just know that it's how we feel." To his frequent objections that something did not make sense, she repeatedly told him: "Of course it doesn't make sense - to a geek. A girl doesn't worry about making sense. It's how she feels that counts." The 'geek' term was used freely between them, just because she knew it was something he would have to live with from his classmates. Having her use it lovingly should take away a lot of the sting. "The thing is," she once explained, "both you and the girls your age are big bags of hormones. I'm really no different myself. If one of you doesn't use a little brain power once in a while, think of the mess that could happen. Don't depend on the girl for the thinking, OK?" This from a super-intelligent, highly motivated young woman. Definitely not prevailing feminist doctrine, but she was concerned about her brother, not about political correctness. By Independence Day, Matt was becoming very fond of dancing. The fact that his sister did not shun the slow dances helped a lot. Also the fact that she taught him every kind of hold, including rhythmic dry-humping. It took a while for him to believe that poking her in the belly was OK. He was totally surprised and greatly relieved when the frequency of his hardons while dancing went down. For her part, she tried mightily to find new ways to make him stiffen, and was proud of him for the control he was showing. The high school was four years, so Matt was preparing to enter as a freshman when Mel came home for her second summer. She was determined that her brother was not going to be a wallflower. Because of his brains and his electronics passion, the geek label could not be avoided. If he could be in demand as a dance partner, it would help his social standing a great deal. Since most of the boys his age hung steadfastly to the wall at school dances, he would have an open field. Mel started as soon as she got home. The summer before, he had learned the mechanics, now she would try to get him to let go and show some flair. He was really pretty good, especially for his age. But letting loose with a girl would be a real challenge. First, she enlisted Joyce, just so he would have a different partner. It was a long, tough discussion, but she got her mother to agree to slow dance close, and if he got hard to reassure him that it was OK and stick with it. Joyce was not at all sure if that was proper, but had to acknowledge how much good Mel had done for the boy. The funny thing was that after her first session with Matt, Joyce hauled Emmett off to dancing lessons. Geri was the next likely test partner, but that was a very hard sell. Mel did not even bother talking about Matt's possible hardon. When Geri discovered that he danced at least as well any partner she had had, she actually let herself have some fun. However, she sternly instructed him not to try to dance with her at any school event. Throughout the summer, whenever one of Mel's or Geri's friends would stop in, she would draft them to dance with Matt. Geri was mystified at why her friends did not seem at all reluctant. Mel's friends all jumped at the chance. She had drilled him endlessly on how to ask for a dance, how to lead the girl to the floor, and what to do when the dance was over. ------- As in most school districts, there was an honors track starting in the seventh grade. One of the others in that group was Chelsea, who lived about a mile from the Conroys. She was a brilliant, vivacious teen with a gorgeous face who had never lost her baby fat. A little beyond voluptuous, depending on which century's artists were making the judgment, she was overweight enough that even her impressive mammaries did not get the guys drooling over her. Chelsea and Matt had been classmates and competitors for class standing. They had also become very good friends. Her quick wit, quick and biting tongue, and sunny attitude was much like his sisters', and he was very comfortable with her. He was the only boy who never teased her about her size, and that made her comfortable with him. They frequently studied together, spending much time bantering about who would score highest on the next test. She knew of his passion for electronics and was not demanding of his time, since her own passion was music, just as time-consuming. On the first day of high school, Chelsea and Matt found themselves in honors classes together once again. When the speaker system announced the welcome mixer dance, Matt asked Chelsea if she was going. For the first time showing some self-consciousness, she told him no. "I wish you would go. I'd like to dance with you," he told her, having no real clue to the impact of that statement. She came to the dance, and he asked her for the very first one. Several dances and several partners later, he did not think she had danced with anyone else, and he asked her again. In all, he danced with her five or six times. As musical as she was, she was a natural. Unfortunately, none of the other boys were impressed by that - more like intimidated. Their friendship did not seem to change much after that dance. They still studied together a lot and they were both consumed with their own interests. The school held a lot of dances, though, and soon they developed a bit of a reputation as a dance couple. On his own, Matt also developed a reputation. Most girls long to dance with a good partner, and by the third event, he was even asking some of the older girls. He was never refused. As he held each of his different partners in varying degrees of closeness, Matt was continually grateful for his sister's loving tutelage. He felt surprisingly confident, and was able to talk with the girls in a relaxed manner. At the third dance, he was doing his second straight slow song with Chelsea and holding her close when he hardened. Amazingly, it was the first time it had happened to him, again, thanks to Mel. He quickly pulled his hips back, but she had already noticed. "Is... is... is that?..." "Yeah, sorry." Dealing with his problem openly with Mel so many times prevented him from the shame and panic he might have felt. "But... but why?" As she asked, she lowered her hand and pulled him back close, embedding his rod in the softness of her belly. "Chelsea, holding a beautiful girl close has that effect on guy." "Beautiful? But we're... I mean, you're like a friend." "And I sometimes get hard dancing with my sister, too," he explained, more than a little distracted by his hardness moving back and forth against her as they swayed. "Guys can't help it." She stared at him, mouth half open for a moment, then laid her head on his chest for the first time. Even with all of Mel's preparation, that surprised him. After that song ended, they went to sit down. "Chelsea, you don't seem to dance with anyone else," he commented. "That's cause you're the only one who asks," she retorted. "So, why don't you ask some guys?" Looking down at the table, she made he first ever reference to her weight, at least that he could remember. "Why would they want to dance with a fat girl?" "Because she really is beautiful, she dances like a pro, and she feels wonderful to hold." "But all the neat guys have girlfriends already. "Notice who I dance with a lot? It's the girls who aren't here with dates. Think they ever say no?" "Oh. You think I should ask some of the guys who just stand around?" "Brilliant deduction," he quipped. "Just do me one favor," he said. "When they get hard, be gentle with them, OK?" "MATT!" "Hey, its going to happen on the slow songs." "Suuurrre it is! Hah!" She obviously wasn't buying it. As they pulled close for the last dance, he knew she had danced with four other boys. "Is your tummy sore from getting poked," he asked, then said "Ouch!" dramatically as she slapped his arm. "I never thought..." she murmured as she calmed down. "Any guy you press your, uh, chest against is going to get hard. Guaranteed," he stated. Once more she laid her head on his chest without saying anything. ------- At Thanksgiving time, Mel was the only one home when Chelsea stopped by. Disappointed to miss Matt, she was about to leave when Mel invited her in. "Hey, I was about to take a hot tub. Join me and we can talk," Mel said. "I don't have a suit," was Chelsea's immediate protest. "So I won't wear one either." At the look of horror on the girl's face, Mel added "We'll have robes right there in case someone comes home early, OK?" It took quite a while, but with Mel's persuasive skills, a fiercely blushing Chelsea was covering as much as she could with her hands as she shed her robe and hurried into the tub. "Guess you haven't spent much time naked, huh?" Mel asked. "No... I... I mean, with my weight and..." "So, do you worry a lot about your weight?" "I... no... I didn't, until Matt..." "Did he say something to your about it?" Mel asked, incredulously. "Matt?" Chelsea reacted with shock, "Oh, no. Of course not. When we were dancing, he, uh, I mean he got, uh..." Her nerve ran out at that point. "Ah!" Mel said dramatically. "He got a hardon, huh? Let me guess: that got you thinking about sex, then about how guys thought about you, and here we are." "Yeah, I guess," the girl mumbled. "So, Matt's never seen you naked?" "God, no! I wouldn't want him to see this!" "Why not? You have a gorgeous face and beautiful skin. I would kill for boobs like yours." "But there's too much extra. He'd be turned off." "Is it important to you how he would react?" Chelsea just nodded, head down. "Then try it and find out. I think you will be pleasantly surprised." "You mean, like strip for him. I couldn't do that," Chelsea declared. "Then how about just like this? You could pull it off." Chelsea just gave a groan, but Mel could tell she was thinking about it. "Have you been with him like this?" Chelsea asked after a moment. "No, we've never been naked in the hot tub." Chelsea inferred from the way Mel answered that the brother and sister had been naked together at some point. ------- It was a Tuesday night in early December, it was Matt's turn to host the studying, and no one else was home. When the homework was done, Chelsea said, her voice shaking a little "Time for a hot tub." "Oh, did you bring your suit?"" "Nope, don't need one." Matt recognized immediately that the challenge was out there. Having Mel see him was one thing, but this was his friend. They had never done anything like this. Chelsea told him to undress and wear a robe and she would borrow one from Mel. She actually got to the hot tub first. She was very nervous about him seeing her and it was cold out, so she was tempted to get right in. The whole thing was her idea, though, so she waited just another minute until he came out. The front of his robe stood out to signal his excitement and he apologized when she noticed. "Silly, it's what I was hoping for," she assured him. "At least you don't have all of this fat." About to say something, he thought better of it and dropped his robe first. She was almost too entranced to follow suit, and they both stood staring until the cold air forced them into the tub. They both sank neck deep into the water and neither said anything for a while. "Can't see much like this, can we?" Matt finally said. "Uh, no. Um, you've seen Mel sometimes, huh?" "Did she tell you that?" "No. Well, sorta. You're lucky. I don't have any brothers." "So you've never seen one before?" Chelsea nodded sadly. "And I'd sure like to look at you some more," he told her. "You would? But I'm too heavy." "Some places you're perfect. Tell you what. Let's go up to my room and stay naked for a while more." "What if someone comes home?" "I don't know about you, but I can dress real quick. Especially if I don't bother with underwear." "Matt!" "Well, we both want to see more. We're friends and we've always helped each other learn, right?" Curiosity won over caution, and Chelsea was the first one out of the tub. ------- The two teens repeated the 'I'll show you mine' sessions several more times over the school year. They did no sexual touching, in fact scrupulously avoided contact while they were naked. Dancing was the only time they had close contact. Chelsea's parents were very strict and conservative so the naked sessions were always at his house. When summer came, however, it was Chelsea's pool that had the more complete privacy. It was there that they had their first extended skinny dip, and it was there that some touching first occurred. Playing around in the water was always a perfect excuse for grab-ass, and they had in fact done quite a bit of it when they had suits on. Every time Matt saw Chelsea that summer, Mel talked to him afterward. She tried hard not to seem like she was grilling him, but she wanted very much for him to have a good first experience. It seemed certain that Chelsea would be the girl with whom he lost his virginity. Mel had to continually chide herself about the jealousy that snuck in. All through the summer and into the next school year, they continued studying together and just hanging out. They did a lot of dancing and had a few more naked times. They did not do any kissing or displays of affection. Matt's sixteenth birthday came in December and he got his license immediately. As soon as he could talk Emmett into it, he asked Chelsea out on a date. Having wheels and doing a real date seemed to change the outlook of both teens. In the movie, he took her hand and later put his arm around her. At her door, he kissed her, almost getting knocked over by her enthusiastic response. ------- There was one more date before Christmas and when Mel came home, she and Matt had several long talks. She also got him a generous supply of condoms and made him swear that he would have two with him at all times. With Mel home for the holidays, Matt naturally wanted to spend time with her, but more than ever before, he wanted to be with Chelsea. Between the two, it looked like his current electronics project would not benefit from the days off of school. On top of that, there was all of the work he wanted at the shop, where he could at last be an official employee. It took Mel micro-seconds to see that something had changed in her little brother's feelings about Chelsea. Mel liked Chelsea, although she wondered why she had never attacked her weight. It seemed that it was mostly just from poor diet and she would be very pretty if she slimmed down. Even heavier, Mel could see why Matt would enjoy Chelsea's body. There was a lushness and smoothness to her that was quite sexy. And there were those boobs! The best thing she could do for her brother during vacation would be to help him see Chelsea as much as possible - run interference for him if necessary. If Matt did not lose his virginity before school started again, it at least would not be long. She knew of their naked times and sensed that they could quickly move to sexual play and intercourse. One evening, Mel and Matt happened to be alone, although Chelsea would be coming over in a while. Mel put on some music and asked him to dance. The album she chose was mostly slow songs and it took only until the third track for her to make him spring one. "Boy, I was getting worried that I'd lost my touch," she said as she kissed him on his blushing cheek. "Hey, are you still embarrassed to be hard around me." "No. Well, yeah. It's just..." "You're kinda feeling that's Chelsea's property now, huh?" She giggled as he pulled back in total surprise. "It's OK, Bro'. You're a one woman kinda guy." "But we haven't... we aren't..." he spluttered. "Won't be long, though. Do you love her?" Reverting to a more analytical mode, Matt shared his confusion over that question. "Ever think about her when you're really into one of your projects?" Mel asked. "Oh, yeah. I kinda have her on my mind all the time." "That's love. For sure. Any idea how she feels?" "It's not like I can just ask her!" "Hmmmm. Been naked with her any more?" "What? How?..." Realizing that his sister somehow knew everything, his shoulders slumped and he answered "No, not since that first date. It's kinda like it's too personal, now," he tried to explain. "You mean being naked together wasn't personal before?" "Hey, we're friends. We were both curious, and it helped us learn." "So you're not friends any more? Or you're not curious?" She knew she was being exasperating, but she had to find out where the kids were at, romantically. "I don't know. I guess I'm more concerned about embarrassing her, now." "Because of her weight?" "Yeah, in her mind. I don't worry about that. She's my friend. I really like her - love her, I guess. Her body excites me even if there's more than she would like. I don't want her to feel like I'm pressuring her or anything." Mel had to pause for the catch in her voice. She found herself feeling a bit down because she had never found a guy who measured up to her little brother. "Tell you what," she said, "when Chelsea gets here, be busy with something for twenty minutes or so, OK?" When the girl arrived, Mel took her in tow and launched right in. "So, you two haven't had any naked sessions for a while, huh? Learned everything you wanted to know?" Chelsea was sitting down, fortunately, and it took her quite a while to respond. "I'm... I'm more embarrassed now than before," she finally mumbled. "Because now he's your boyfriend?" Without waiting for an answer, Mel pushed on. "Do you love him?" "Wow! I've been asking myself that a lot. Yes, I do." "So, do you think your weight bothers him?" "He's never let on," Chelsea replied. "I mean we haven't really done any touching or anything, so maybe it does." "... or maybe he's waiting for you to initiate things. That's the way he's been brought up. Do you want him to touch you?" "God, yes! Well, yes and no. I mean, I want to know what it feels like, but I don't want him to feel my fat." "So you've decided he'll be turned off, huh? Why don't you try it and find out if you're right or wrong." All the girl could do was groan. "Hey, Matt and I were just dancing. Why don't you dance with him when he comes down. I've got to be somewhere in a few minutes." Chelsea looked confused at first, then got a glint in her eye. When Matt appeared, Mel had left and Chelsea had the album cued and waiting. She started the music and pulled him right into a slow dance. Waiting as long as she could, which was only a few phrases, she took his hand that was on her waist and pushed it right down over one cheek, thrusting her groin at him as she did. Her reward was a squeeze that was almost hungry. When she responded with a moan, his other hand dropped down and he did an exploration so thorough she was afraid he would feel the dew that she was sure was soaking through her jeans. That watershed event opened the door for the normal progression of increasing intimacy between the two. Later, they sat on the couch and she brought his hand to her breast. That exploration, though through her clothes, was just as thorough. His state of excitement had been evident to her and she had to get in her own feels. When she caressed his shaft, which was standing upright in his jeans, he nearly jumped off of the couch, but got control of himself, at least for a little while. "Chelsea, if you keep that up, I'm going to mess up my underwear!" "S'all right. Mine are already messed. Haven't you got a clean pair in your room?" "Yeah, but..." He was pulsing and lurching about before he could complete his objection. After recovering, he wanted to return the favor, but she was too concerned about her damp condition. "Go change your shorts and let's dance some more. The evening ended with only a little more petting and some heated kissing. ------- Chelsea was very concerned about Matt feeling her fat places, and it took several petting sessions before she was convinced that he really loved touching her, no matter how soft the spots were. Three more times she gave him hand jobs through his pants, but would not let him do her. To touch her pussy, he would feel her lower belly, which had an unbecoming bulge. Finally, as she was again ready to get him off, he put his foot down. "No more until I can do you," he demanded. "I want to be fair." She had known this was coming, but was still very nervous. Hands unsteady, she got her jeans unbuttoned and zipped down, then threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. Detecting her problem, he did not rush, but spent a good deal of time petting her elsewhere. Finally, he slid his hand down inside her panties, causing her to shake and suck in her tummy. "Hey, it's OK," he tried to reassure her. "I'm for sure not turned off." Having said that, he took time to caress her whole belly as he cranked up the intensity of his touches. At first, she almost cried with shame, but his hands must have spoken reassurance, and after several minutes, she relaxed and he slipped his hand down over her mound. It was the first time he had made her come, and it went beyond her expectations. By that time, all concern about fat was long gone. Naturally, after his efforts, she was not content through his pants any more, and she pulled his jeans and shorts down to his knees so she could admire and stroke him unencumbered. ------- The young couple had established that they would not rush into anything, and bringing each other off sufficed for the next few months. Most of the time, they got together at the Conroys', given her parents strictness. Joyce and Emmett made a point of giving them privacy, and sternly forbad Geri, now a senior, from interfering in any way. In late March, there was another chance for them to have the house to themselves for an evening. No sooner had she arrived than Chelsea went to his room, found his robe, and tossed it to him, saying "Hot tub. No suits." It would be their first time fully naked together since their first kiss. It signified her understanding of his acceptance of her body. After a nice soak, this time sitting close together, she led him to the family room and started the music. "Time to dance," she said, to no objection from him. In the middle of the second song, she pulled back enough to undo the tie of his robe, and pushed it off of his shoulders. She made no objection when he returned the favor. One song later, she told him "I've been on the pill for two cycles. I want to make love." At his stunned silence, she giggled and asked "Do we need to finish this song?" In many conversations with Mel, she had hammered on the fact that each step had to be Chelsea's idea, otherwise she could have regrets later. It was not in his nature to pressure her, anyway. Knowing from her relaxed mood and her humor that she wanted it as much as he did, he wasted no time getting her to his bedroom. Although he had wanted to, she had not let him use his mouth on her. That would have required baring her lower body completely, and tonight was the first night she was ready for that. When he placed her on the bed and brought his head to her crotch, she tried to object that she just wanted him in her. He was not hearing of it, and a little clumsily but effectively enough, he took her to a strong climax. When she caught her breath, she tried to return the favor, but he insisted he would rather come in her. She was feeling too good to put up much of a fight. Mel had counseled him that Chelsea could have control of her deflowering of she was on top of him. She was just nervous enough about the pain to agree to that. Once she was astraddle him, she became concerned about her belly being right in front of him. When he seemed to ignore it and went right for her generous breasts, she focused on the real issue and guided him into herself. The girls Chelsea hung with were not sexually experienced, so she did not have a lot of folklore about the pain. Once he was past her opening, she took a deep breath and sank right down. Unfortunately, he was not well enough seated and she did not lower herself straight enough. He popped out sideways, causing him enough pain that he partially softened. That part was not all bad because he had been fighting hard not to come when the head got inside of her. Embarrassed and frustrated, she gave a little scream and burst into tears. He anticipated her trying to get off of him and restrained her for the first time ever. Hugging her tightly on top of himself, he stroked her and said soothing words. It was not long before he was fully hard again, and it stuck up between her slightly spread legs. "Reach under yourself and guide me in", he said, trying to distract her from her embarrassment. She did, that worked well, and before long, they could both feel him against her barrier. "Now, sit up carefully," he told her and took hold of her upper arms to assist her. Soon, she was sitting up and a look of excitement and concentration had replaced the shame. Not normally the impulsive type, she nevertheless tried her dead drop again, this time successfully. She gave another little scream, this time from the sharp pain she felt. Tears again flowed and again he pulled her down on top of himself. This time, he was well seated and he did not pop out. Giving her all the time she needed, he stroked and comforted her the best he could, all the while fighting like crazy to keep the tight, hot, slickness from getting him over. After a bit, he could not restrain himself from a small thrust. His comforting must have been effective because she trust back. Almost instantly, she was moving back and forth atop him, whimpering from the sensations. For his part, nothing existed but his cock and the incredible stimulation he felt within her. He did not last a dozen strokes. It took her a moment to sense what was happening, but when she did, she took the lead and rolled them over, holding tightly to his ass to keep him from falling out. Either she did not know that the male normally softened after ejaculation or she credited him with exceptional virility. Since he hardly softened at all, she would have to wait for her misconception to be corrected. Once he was on top, she used both hands on his ass to start him moving in and out. When he got the idea and took over, she clamped onto him with arms and legs and seemed to go wild. If there was any residual pain, she was using it as a stimulant because in about a minute and a half, she orgasmed again. Not yet recharged enough to come again himself, he continued thrusting. It was several minutes and two small aftershocks for her before he dumped his second load. Sweating, panting, and trembling from the intense exertion, he rolled off and lay next to her. In about the same shape, she was able to grasp his hand, and that was about all. Neither said a word. As soon as his breathing slowed, he rolled to his side and gave her a tender kiss. Then he began tracing his hand all over her front. When he spent a little time on her tummy, gently squeezing the loose flesh, she protested. "Shhh," he told her. "You're my lover now. Let me enjoy your body." "Enjoy?... but..." "Every single inch. Any objections?" Her soft purr did not count as an objection. ------- Once they became lovers, Chelsea and Matt let it be known around school that they were a couple, to the surprise of none of their classmates. As school wound down, Matt began to notice a change in her appearance and finally commented on it. "Yeah, I've been changing the way I eat and I've lost several pounds already," she told him with some reluctance. Obviously, it was becoming more and more important to her how he felt about her body. "It's been hard around home, though. It's almost like my folks want me to stay fat." After much discussion, Matt began running with her almost every day. Since it was her first systematic exercise of any kind, it was a very slow start, but both teens were nothing if not tenacious. Chelsea had noticed a small weight set in the corner of the Conroys' basement rec room, and asked about it. That triggered workout sessions that became very regular and quite rigorous by the end of the summer. Both of Matt's parents worked, and both of his sisters had summer jobs. Matt had plenty of work at the electronics shop, but could pretty much schedule his hours. Thus, the teens were free to work out on their own schedule and follow up by making love, something they did a few times a week. Being level-headed and very focused on their other interests, they did not let themselves get carried away by sex to the exclusion of everything else. ------- Chapter 3 It was a very different Chelsea that went to school in September as a junior, accompanied by a much more confident Matt. The very pretty girl that Mel had known was there had been revealed as the pounds dropped away. She was not yet a hard-body and might never be, but the soft spots were only where they looked the most appealing. She was proud of her new look and Matt was proud of her. Chelsea's parents' strange reaction to their daughter's makeover extended to a refusal to allow her to buy more stylish, sexier clothes. At her former size, she had dressed mainly for comfort and concealment, with no apparent concern for style. That changed with her weight loss, and became a source of great frustration and embarrassment to her. She had earned some money during the summer, and was forced to spend every nickel trying to fit in. That fall of her junior year was a time of tremendous change for Chelsea. Highly intelligent, musically gifted, with a naturally upbeat personality, she had nevertheless spent her teen years until then in hiding. Not hiding from people, as she was naturally gregarious, but hiding her body. She had purposely dressed down for so long that she was starting from zero as far as fashion and style. Before, that had not mattered, but now, it seemed very important. Of course, a girl who has always been an overweight geek does not just jump right onto the 'A' list, no matter how dramatic her physical metamorphosis. Her contemporaries saw the changes in Chelsea, but continued to think of her as the Chelsea of before, at least at first. Throughout the fall, though, things started to change. One of the biggest signs was that Chelsea was not always the one doing the asking at dances. As much as they loved each other, they had decided that it was best to circulate and dance with others as they had before. Once one boy asked Chelsea, it seemed to open the door for all the others, and soon she was in demand. Matt was happy for her enhanced popularity because of the ego boost he could see in her. There was no more of the holding back and never a hint of reluctance for him to touch her anywhere. He had always loved her body, but now she felt incredible. Just after Mel got home for Christmas, Chelsea was invited for dinner and the two girls had a chance to talk for quite a while. When Matt drove Chelsea home, Mel grabbed her parents and almost hauled them up to the master bedroom. To their questions, she blurted out "Matt is going to get hurt, and I don't know what to do about it!" She was fighting back tears as she said it. "What? Do you think Chelsea wants to break up with him?" Joyce asked, her disbelief apparent. "Chelsea is like a new butterfly right now," Mel explained. "A whole new world has opened to her, with lots of hunky guys starting to notice her. She is going to want to experiment." "I really don't think she would do that to Matt," Emmett opined. "Well, she may not break things off with him. She may just want to date other guys, too," Mel told him. "And I don't think Matt is built that way." "But does he expect to marry her?" Joyce asked. "You know Matt. What do you think?" Mel shot back. "Ohhhhh!" Joyce groaned. "He thinks he's found the love of his life, doesn't he? How can you be so sure of what she's going to do?" "I can't be sure, of course, but I would bet anything she will go to the Prom with someone else." There followed a vigorous discussion on what they could do to help Matt and protect him from being hurt. It was Emmett who finally stepped in and insisted that Matt needed to handle the situation on his own, no matter what happened. It was fortunate that all three were in bed when Matt got home, as they would not have been able to hide their concern from him. Even by morning, it was difficult. ------- Every school grade seems to have a guy or girl who has everything. In Matt's grade, it was Rod Turner. Good looking, brilliant, lettering in three sports, and from an old money family, he was every girl's dream date. Rod was in all the honors classes with Matt and Chelsea, and when school resumed after the holidays, it was clear that Rod had eyes for Chelsea. Chelsea was not some fickle bimbo type, and she sincerely loved Matt. The problem was that she was totally unprepared for the kind of ego stroking she was about to experience. Her parents had simply expected top marks and professional musical performance. They did not consider any achievements in those areas exceptional enough for praise. Her mother was almost rabidly against clothing that was at all provocative, and any comments about Chelsea's appearance had always been negative. As soon as Rod started to notice Chelsea, talk to her, and walk with her, it was a signal to the top social set that she was now a legitimate person. Girls who previously would not make eye contact with her were now greeting her and sometimes even conversing briefly. This was heady stuff for the former outcast, and it started to work on her. Matt, clueless as he was, eventually noticed the attention Rod was laying on his girlfriend and became concerned. He never said anything to her, and finally, she was the one who had to broach the subject. Rod had asked for several times for a date, and she had refused. Eventually, she gave in, but was dying inside at the thought of telling Matt. She knew she had to. She was not shallow enough to just go out on him. They had made no explicit vows of monogamy, but their personal commitments to each other were very strong - or at least hers had been. Chelsea was actually shaking and was unable to look Matt in the eye when she could no longer put it off. Haltingly, she told him "Matt, Rod has asked me to go to the concert with him Saturday. It's my favorite group and he has backstage passes. I said I would go." "O... Okay. Does, uh, that mean you don't want to go out with me any more?" "Oh, no! It's just this one special time. I don't want anything to change between us," she pled. Of course, things did change. The Sunday after the concert, Chelsea came over and almost raped him, she seemed so frantic. Both of them could tell it was not the same. Over the next few weeks, they made love a few times, but with neither the frequency nor the intensity from before. Over that same period, Rod went about 'claiming' Chelsea as his own. He invited her out several more times, and she accepted a few of them. Finally, by the end April, Rod cornered Matt after class and gave him the ultimatum. "Look, Matt, Chelsea is my girl now. She's not fat any more and she doesn't need you. She's moved up to a real man, and I want you to stay away from her. She's ready for a man's dick and some man's loving. Maybe you should find yourself another ugly duckling." Neither of them saw a girl from class hovering around the corner and listening. Up until that time, Chelsea and Matt had been able to act quite normally around each other at school. Apparently, Rod gave Chelsea the same message and she was too far gone to stand up for her lover. Because of their discussion at Christmas, Joyce knew exactly what had happened. She decided Mel was the best one to deal with and called her. "Hey, 'Bro," Mel said when Matt picked up the phone late one night, "It sounds like things aren't the best for you. Is it something with Chelsea?" Matt just let out a long sigh, then said "Yeah, she's going with another guy, now?" "Shit!" Mel could not resist saying. "What did she say when she broke if off?" "Well, she didn't really break it off. He did. I mean, she told me before she went out with him the first time, but he told me she was his now and to stay away." "And you're just going to do what he says?" "Don't have much choice. It's Rod Turner. I can't compete with him." There were a dozen lectures Mel wanted to deliver, but she knew they would be of no help to him. Instead, she went for the personal touch. "God, Matt, I can't even say I know how you feel, 'cause I don't. May heart aches for you." "Will you do something for me?" Mel asked, not waiting for an answer. "Will you do everything you can to act like you're OK? What I mean is: don't let Rod know that he's hurt you. Or Chelsea, either." "B... but they have hurt me. Big time!" "I know, I know, and if I was there I would probably kill someone. What I'm saying is you don't want to let it show. Don't walk around looking like a puppy that's been kicked. Don't stop doing the things you normally would." "Ohhhh! I don't think I can do that." "Dammit, yes you can!" Mel spat out, surprising him with her vehemence. "Do I have to get on a plane and come out there and straighten you out? If I do, it won't be pretty!" Despite his heartache, when he finished gasping at her cheekiness, he had to chuckle. "Now here's what you're going to do. You're going to go to every dance, just like before. You're going dance every dance with as many girls as you can, just like before. When someone asks about Chelsea, you're going to say you're really sad about it but you hope she is happy. Got that!" "Th... that's asking a lot," he protested. "Well, I'm not done yet," she said sternly. "You need to talk to Chelsea, face to face, and ask her where the two of you stand." That elicited a long groan from him. "Look, Matt, I believe in you and your future. There will be more tough shots ahead. Learn to tackle them head on right now, and nothing will stop you. Can you do it?" After a protracted silence, he was actually able to inject a little humor. "Well, I sure as hell don't want you coming out here and beating on me, so I guess I'd better." "Oh, one more thing," she said. "If she verifies that she is now Rod's girl, you invite someone else to the Prom right away." "But... but what if she changes her mind?" "Matt, what you're doing is showing everyone that you are your own person. It doesn't mean that you don't love Chelsea and that you aren't hurt if she breaks up with you. Believe me, it will make her respect you more, and maybe make her sorry she did this." "I'm not trying to hurt her," her protested. "No, and that's not why you're doing it. If she changes her mind and you're already committed for the Prom, it will be a valuable life lesson for her. Look, if you two get back together some day, it will be a much better relationship if she knows your strength." "I thought you were working on a business degree, not psychology," Matt quipped. ------- Having learned from experience to trust his big sister's judgment, Matt did just as she had said. The very next day, he caught Chelsea in class and asked if he could give her a ride home. She demurred, and he assumed it was because of Rod. He then asked if he could stop over after supper for a few minutes, and she agreed. "Chelsea, are you Rod's girl, now?" he asked flat out as soon as they were alone in her living room. She gasped, then stammered "I... I didn't want to change things between us." At that point, he had an inspiration, and asked "Then will you be my date for the Prom?" She could not look at him, and could barely speak. "N... no... I... I can't." Following his inspiration and Mel's comments, he pushed on, finding strength to maintain his composure somewhere. "Oh, that's too bad. I have been looking forward to that for a long time. Um, do you have any suggestions about who I should ask?" He knew when he said it that it was a bit cruel, but he was fighting the hurt for all he was worth, and perversely, it made him feel just a little better to get in a dig at her. He was not proud of himself, but he could not help it. She was devastated. That simple question brought what she had done into sharp focus, and the tears started instantly. Unable to control herself, she ran sobbing from the room and he let himself out. Neither one had said that they were breaking up, but both of them knew it. Finding control he did not know he had, Matt managed to drive out of sight of her house before he pulled over and cried as he had not since his childhood years. He sat there so long that a neighbor complained and a patrol car stopped to see why he was there. When he explained that he'd just had some very bad news, the officer insisted on following him home. The little shot of adrenalin helped him recover enough to drive. ------- Matt took Mel's advice and interacted with Chelsea at school as he would with a long-time friend but not a lover. Outside of school, they had nothing to do with each other, studying or dating. Rod seemed to get irritated when they even talked at school, and that give him a little perverse pleasure. One of Matt's honors classmates all the way up had been Tracy. She was a lot like Chelsea had been, except that her problem was debilitating shyness, not weight. In the same league mentally, she was fairly attractive but took absolutely no advantage of her looks. Just answering the teacher in class seemed to take all of the courage she possessed. Unbeknownst to anyone, Tracy had had a crush on Matt since puberty. She was so nondescript and unobtrusive that he never noticed her hanging a short distance away from him whenever possible. It was probably not a healthy thing, maybe a bit obsessive, but it was her life. Tracy had been the one hovering around the corner when Rod had confronted Matt and 'claimed' Chelsea. To her, it had represented a golden opportunity to fulfill her fantasy of so many years. The problem was that she was just another classmate as far as Matt was concerned. He was friendly enough to her, but due to her shyness, she could barely respond to his greetings. As intelligent as she was, Tracy knew what she was doing to herself, but could not muster the courage to correct the problem. Except for once. About a week after overhearing Rod and Matt, Tracy came up to Matt after math class and asked if he could help her understand a couple of the problems that were giving her trouble. The request startled Matt, especially since it was the most consecutive words he had heard from her. He also saw how hard it had been for her to ask, especially since she almost fainted after asking. His natural compassion forbad anything but a helpful response, and he told her he would meet her in the library after school. During the little tutoring session, it became clear to Matt that Tracy knew the material at least as well as he did. Unversed as he was in the ways of women, he still figured out that she just wanted his attention. As they were ready to leave the library, Tracy started non-stop blushing and could hardly speak. Inspired again, he understood that she wanted to see him again but did not know how to let him know. The nice guy in him took over and he suggested they meet again two nights later. She almost fainted with relief. Matt tried four times to call Mel that night before he reached her. He told her the whole story about Chelsea and then about Tracy, asking her what he should do. "I think you handled Chelsea perfectly," she assured him, "I'm proud of you. I think you should take Tracy on as your new study partner." "Huh?" "She's a girl who obviously needs some help coming out of her shell. It would be good for you to have a project like her to work on. You probably should ask her to the Prom, too." Matt had to sit down after that exchange, but what his sister had said made a lot of sense. "So I'm in the business of rescuing lonely girls, huh?" "Oh, come on, 'Bro. It's not like that. Tracy sounds like she's a nice girl. It won't be so hard, will it?" "No, but I'm not going to let anything like Chelsea happen again." "I hear what you're saying, and I can see why you feel that way. Just don't say never. It has a way of coming back on you. Just make a new friend and have some fun, OK?" ------- If it had not been for his new study partner Tracy, Matt would not have been able to handle himself as well as he did around Chelsea. He made it a point to talk to Chelsea at least a little bit every day, usually about something very mundane. Watching Rod's reaction was a good incentive. Her reaction made him feel bad, but he knew Mel had been right: he could not let them know how much he was hurt. It was obvious that she felt bad about the whole situation, but she was the one who had made the decision. He had no contact with Chelsea outside of school. Unfortunately, teens are often reluctant to pass up a chance to put someone down. Rod, his jock friends, and the girls that hung around them enjoyed throwing little barbs at Matt whenever they had the chance. The guys usually were very direct about his lack of manhood. The girls were more subtle but the impact on him was just as painful. Tracy was often close enough to hear what was going on. It was hard for Matt to believe that Chelsea knew about the things they were saying to him. He could not see how she could change enough to be a part of the ridicule. Yet, she was spending all of her time with Rod and his group, seeming to fit in perfectly. Matt did not consider taking Tracy to the Prom an act of charity. With every study session, she loosened up a little, and he had discovered a fetching wit suppressed by her timidity. He genuinely enjoyed being with her. There was none of the sexual spark he had felt for Chelsea, but that was probably not Tracy's fault. Tracy's parents treated Matt as some kind of a savior. They had been concerned that she would never come out of her shell, and Matt was triggering changes they feared they would never see. They went all out on her Prom outfit, and the results surprised Matt completely. The real surprise had come two weeks earlier when Tracy's father had offered to pay for a hotel suite. Matt could hardly believe that he had to tell her father he was not interested in Tracy that way - they were just good friends. Tracy had gone to two dances before the Prom, the first she had ever attended. For the second one, Matt had persuaded two of his friends to ask her to dance. She left the gym that night hardly touching the ground. At the Prom, she looked so striking that several boys asked her for dances, without any prompting from Matt. Chelsea also looked spectacular at the Prom, although Matt thought he detected a strange tension when he greeted her. Monday morning in their first class, she would not look him in the eye. At first he was puzzled, but when he caught a glimpse of Rod's face, the reason hit him, and he had to run to the boys' room. Chelsea had slept with Rod after the Prom. Matt had been exerting all of the self-control he possessed to maintain his composure since the breakup. Because of Rod's reputation, Mat had known intellectually that Chelsea would end up having sex with Rod. Perhaps he had gotten over-confident in his ability to cope, because when faced with the actuality, he was defenseless. Fortunately, all of the parties involved had been several minutes early to class, otherwise there would have been massive disruption. Tracy was right on Matt's heels as he raced to the bathroom and she stood outside waiting for him to reappear. After the bell rang, repeated threats from the hall monitor did not budge her at all. Chelsea stood with a puzzled look after Matt and Tracy had dashed from the room, but the reason soon became clear to her. She was unable to stop the tears as she also raced from the room, not to return to school until Wednesday. Rod spent the hour alternating between gloating and looking angry. If Matt had endured some hazing before, what he got that day was downright vicious. Rod's triumph alone would have been bad enough, but Matt's display of 'weakness' brought down an unbelievable load of ridicule. Tracy stayed right with him the whole day, demanding that they skip out for the one period they were not in the same class. She insisted on going home with him and stayed until late in the evening, calling her father to come and pick her up. They lived as far apart in the school district as was possible. Tuesday evening, Matt and Tracy were studying in the dining room when the doorbell rang. Upon answering the door, Joyce saw Chelsea's parents. Wisely, she let them in, then made sure that she and Emmett disappeared. "What did you do to Chelsea?" her mother almost screamed at him. "Is this the little slut you dumped her for?" Shy little Tracy was instantly on her feet. Her face was bright red, but not from her usual blush. Luckily distracted from the irate woman, Matt was able to grab Tracy's arm and get her to sit down without saying anything. "I'm not saying another word until you apologize to Tracy," Matt said with surprising composure. "Apologize!?" the woman shrieked and was about to say more when Chelsea's father managed to restrain her. Matt pointedly turned back to their homework and Tracy followed suit while the two adults hissed and whispered at each other. The debate went on for several minutes, getting to the point where it was almost comical. Finally, the mother said tightly. "I'm sorry, Miss. I don't even know who you are. I should not have said that." "Thank you," Matt said. "I have not seen or talked to Chelsea outside of class for almost two months. I have not done anything to her." "Well, why did you break up with her in the first place." "Whaaat!?" Tracy was on her feet again, and Matt once again pulled her down. "What did she tell you about why?" Matt asked. "She, uh, didn't say why. We just thought..." Chelsea's mother stammered. "Well then, you had better ask her," Matt told them. "Did you have sex with her?" the father asked. "That is something I would never discuss with anyone. If she chooses to answer, that's up to her," Matt told him. "But why is she so upset?" the mother demanded. "She's telling us she has to go to a different school next year or she will just drop out. What is going on?" "I think you know my answer," Matt said, and pointedly turned back to his books. Chelsea's parents stood for a few moments looking completely lost, then turned and left. Wednesday morning, Chelsea reappeared for first period. She glanced briefly at Matt but hurriedly looked away. When Rod came up to her, she gave him a forced smile and told him she was fine. After glass, Chelsea grabbed Tracy's arm and pulled her aside. "What was wrong with Matt on Monday?" With a derisive snort, Tracy said "Very funny!" "But, how..." "He guessed," Tracy answered. "Of course, Rod left no doubt afterward." "What? You mean he told..." Laughing again, Tracy just shook her head. "Even I knew what kind of jerk Rod Turner is. What did you expect. I suppose you have no idea about all of the shit they've been saying to Matt, either, huh?" From the brief flash of acknowledgment in Chelsea's eyes, Tracy was sure she knew what had been going on and had made her decision not to stand up for Matt. Somehow, Chelsea made it until lunch. As she walked into the cafeteria, Rod was holding court with some of his buddies and a few girls. Coming up behind him, she heard him say "Chelsea is some hot chick. Man did we have a time that night." She exploded. "Well, I'm glad you thought so, you jerk!" she said, just below a shout but loud enough so many could hear. "You were a total bust in bed. Just pound it in until you come, then start snoring. I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me for you, and you're nothing but brag. I had a real stud who knew how to please a woman and now I've got nothing. Your prick is nothing special, and you only know how to please yourself with it. I thought maybe I could train you, but you're not worth it!" In the total silence that followed, Chelsea realized she had ruined any possible future at the school, but that seemed like a minor setback compared to the remorse she was feeling. She hardly noticed when Rod charged at her and backhanded her across the face. Coming to her senses on the floor, she did not even try to cover up, thinking that she deserved whatever happened. Fortunately, Rod's buddies had the sense to restrain him as he was aiming a kick at her, and several teachers soon had things under control. ------- Chelsea had made a youthful mistake. Her environment had made her vulnerable, and her actions were explainable. She, however, did not see it that way. Nothing anyone could say could convince her to go back to school. There were only three weeks left, and the administration, fearful of a lawsuit because of the assault, allowed her to study at home and take her exams after hours. Matt had a different lunch period than Chelsea, so he heard everything second hand. He was so upset that he did not even notice the difference in the looks he got from many of the girls. Two nights later, he and Tracy were studying again when she asked him "You still love her, don't you?" When he nodded, she teared up a bit and asked quietly "Do you think you could ever love me?" For a while he could only stare at her, then he answered "I don't know if I will ever feel that way again. Tracy, I do love you, but..." "But not like you love Chelsea," she finished for him. "I guess I knew that, and thank you for being honest. Let's go and see her." "But..." he tried to protest, but soon they were heading for Chelsea's house. It turned out that Chelsea absolutely refused to see him. Her parents treated him angrily, somehow still blaming him for the whole mess. Over-reaction or not, Chelsea was resolute. She made sure Matt did not see her again, and demanded a different school, threatening to flunk out if her parents did not comply. They were completely nonplussed, seeing all of their hopes for her achievement about to go down the drain. There was no space in any of the private schools in the area, and crossing district lines was very difficult. They ended up sending her to live with an aunt and attend a church-sponsored school. Since she did not miss her parents and the school was quite advanced academically, it was a good year for her, at least as far as her education was concerned. Rather than gaining back her weight, as could have happened because of her depression, Chelsea became somewhat of an exercise fanatic. The endorphins seemed to be her best anti-depressant. Her aunt, a much kinder person than her mother, grieved when she heard Chelsea crying in her bed many nights, but could do little to help. Chelsea had refused to tell anyone the full story of what had happened. Winning a full college scholarship far across the country was the best thing Chelsea could have hoped for. Tracy also won a scholarship at a distant school. Throughout their whole senior year, she and Matt kept their relationship platonic. She wanted much, much more, but accepted what she could get. Though heartbroken that she could not win his love, she realized how much she had grown and changed over the year. She would be forever grateful to him for that. For his part, Matt felt that Tracy deserved much more that he was giving her. His wounds were just too severe, though, and he just could not give any more of himself. ------- After high school, it was just natural for Matt to go to college. Though the family enjoyed a good income, Matt had multiple scholarships available to him, due to his grades and his placement scores. He chose Addison University, the highly-regarded local private school. Addison did not have an exceptional program in electrical engineering or electronics, but after a long family discussion, it was decided that he was beyond that course material already. He was encouraged to take business and marketing courses and Japanese. It seemed like 75% of the interesting new components he saw came from Japan. It was late in his freshman year that Matt's educational path was derailed, or at least sent off on a series of sidetracks. His dad, Emmett, had worked for a small manufacturing firm for nearly thirty years, rising to the post of General Manager. The company had just landed a choice Defense Department contract, but there was a hitch. The assemblies they were to produce were top secret, and the contract stipulated a very high level of security for the plant. Redundant, separately powered alarms on every possible entrance and egress; motion-sensitive, high-resolution surveillance cameras covering every inch of the exterior; long-term archival storage of all surveilance footage; thumbprint identification for entrance. No contractor was able to commit to the job in time to satisfy the contract, and the big win looked about to go down the drain. As Emmett agonized about the debacle at the dinner table, Matt started thinking. He knew next to nothing about security systems, except that he had played with nearly every component that was used to build them. Never one to be cowed by the impossible, he asked if he could take a look at the requirements. The upshot was that Matt was able to design the systems using components he was familiar with, plus a few complete assemblies that were available off the shelf. Six weeks of school remained in the quarter, but if he waited that long, the contract would be lost. Emmett, as committed as he was to education, was torn, but finally allowed Matt to drop out and take on the project. Matt did the design and the company supplied crews to do the installation. It was impossible to meet the full contract requirements in time, but Defense did not relish going through another whole cycle of bids and awards, either. With clever scheduling, Matt and Emmett were able to get enough in place to prove that good progress was being made, and the contract went forward. One of the reasons they got some slack from Defense was that Matt put together some things that the Defense folks had never seen or heard of, and they were greatly impressed. When he could back off from his dad's project, he was approached by Defense to consult with some other contractors about the new technology. They wanted to make it a standard requirement. Dancing carefully around conflict of interest ethics, Emmett convinced Matt to engage a patent attorney and register everything that he had developed. That became a cardinal rule for Matt: if you can't find anyone else who has done it, patent it. Emmett was certain that some of the vendors at the shows they attended were already profiting nicely from Matt's ideas. Without finishing his freshman year, Matt had three patent applications, and a prospective consulting schedule that left zero room for school. After some tough negotiations, he was allowed to fulfill the classes he had dropped out of through proficiency exams. Those, however, were the last credits he earned for a while. The scholarship was history, but compared to the money he was looking at, it now seemed trivial. ------- Many of the events of the next eighteen months were a blur, but some very significant things happened. Guided by Emmett and the attorney, who was expert at much more than patents, Integra Systems was incorporated, with Matt as the President, CEO, and principal owner. A number of shares were also 'sold' to each of his family members. Matt understood almost nothing of the business dealings that were going on. One thing he did understand was the surprising flow of royalty payments that started coming in within a few months. His intuition told him that if he was to make a fortune, at would be through designing and innovating, not managing. He needed to get that troublesome stuff out of his hair. Emmett was very loyal to his company, as they were to him. He had, however, 'peaked', in that there was nowhere else for him to rise to, and his duties were so familiar that he was not at all taxed. By granting the company a small portion of the royalties on the three things developed for them, they agreed to let Emmett spend part time as President and COO of Integra. The consulting contracts for Defense lasted a little over a year, but it did not take long for Emmett to realize that there was nothing waiting for Matt when that work was done. His parents' inclination was to be happy that he could resume his schooling, but extensive family debates changed their view. It was obvious that Integra had the potential to be significant. Several more discussions determined that a marketing person was the logical next step. Matt's older sister Mel had earned an MBA in marketing and was hired on the fast track at a consumer products company. No one in the family even breathed the possibility that she could help, and she was not even living in town at the time. When she heard about what was happening on a visit home, she was irate that they had all decided without her input that it was inappropriate for her. Unlike a lot of big sisters, Mel had no scorn for her kid brother, and they had always been surprisingly close. She had dated a few geeks in college and saw their upside. She was convinced that Matt was a legitimate genius. Besides her intuition about Matt, she knew that her father was the kind of executive she might never be fortunate enough to work for in the big corporate world. Her prospects looked good where she was, but it was dog eat dog, and the products themselves did not excite her. After expressing her irritation at not being considered in her usual forthright manner, she asked how much they could pay. When quoted a rather low salary and a number of shares with questionable future value, she said she would take it. At that, the dining room nearly exploded. Both parents were aghast that Mel would 'throw away' the plum job that her exceptional grades had won for her. Mel had a little flair for the dramatic. She let things rage on for quite a while before she squeezed her chair in between Emmett and Matt and put an arm around each of them. That seemed to win her the floor. "I appreciate what you are saying, Mom and Dad, and I know what you sacrificed to get me where I am. I can look forward to a pretty bright future in marketing. The thing is, though, I can almost plot out the steps right now. Sure, they're goods steps, but..." At that point she gave a dramatic shrug. "With Integra, we could hit a home run - do something unbelievable. I know, I know, we could fall on our asses, too. Would I be ruined if it all fell apart? Hell, no! I could always get another job pimping soap or toothpaste. I'd just have lost a little time." "Look, guys - Mom you'll understand this - I've never met anybody with a cock that I trust or believe in as much as these two." She waited out her mother's expected objection to her purposeful crudity, then went on. "The chance to move back home sounds awfully good right now, too. I think you have to grow up in New Jersey to be able to tolerate it. Unless you've got an awful lot better candidate, I'm demanding that job." Although he had to contribute his objections along with his parents, Matt could think of nothing better than having Mel doing their marketing. He was sure she knew how he really felt. Later, he made sure she knew how thrilled he was as they cuddled and enjoyed a beer or three. Matt's other sister, Geri, was two years older than him. She was in pre-law and pouted a little that there was no place for her in Integra. Mel assured her that by the time she passed the bar, they would be in desperate need of her. ------- The impact of the initial royalty income shaped the philosophy and strategy of Integra. They recognized that what made them go was Matt's inventive and innovative talent. They had no edge on anyone else in manufacturing, marketing, or any other activity. Mel's private description of their strategy was 'to be a lean, mean patent machine'. They would develop, patent, license, and consult. That required no large staff, no large capital investment, and no heavy advertising. Gently and lovingly, it was pointed out to Matt that he was really only good at one thing, and that it did them all no good when he ventured out of his area of genius. Despite the ego hit, he knew they were right. With Emmett and Mel's guidance, Matt was surrounded by good people to take care of all but the innovative activities. From his tax advisor came the demand that he purchase an expensive house as both a tax shelter and an investment. Truthfully, he would rather have lived at his parents' home where Mel was again staying, but he heeded the advice. That was how, at the age of twenty-three, Matt moved into a luxury home on a golf course, complete with pool, home theater, and every other imaginable toy. His mother and sisters about went berserk furnishing and decorating the place while he stayed out of the way. The only thing he would have cared about would have been a chair that was uncomfortable to sit in. Shortly after he bought it, the big house took on another important role. Though most of Integra's customers serviced the commercial market, several had large residential businesses. In many respects, the technology was the same anyway. The offices were heavily wired with every new device that came out, usually well before release. There was nothing like field testing to flush out the unexpected in a great new system. Matt's lightly-used house became an ideal test site. Keying off of the demands from Defense, a major part of the leading edge systems was image recording and playback capability. It was basically the same technology as digital video recording, but with some more severe demands. There were always multiple cameras, and a huge amount of data was produced in a day's time. The key was software that detected the degree of change from image to image and only saved frames that passed a change threshold. The office had a high change rate, while Matt's house, where he spent very little time, provided testing of a low-change site. ------- As things progressed, Matt's time became a bottleneck. Emmett diagnosed the problem as too much of his time spent on 'bench work', the actual assembly and testing of prototypes. Where he gave them the biggest advantage was in ideas of how new products could be put together. The solution was to hire people to build what Matt thought up. Even in the casual Silicon Valley environment, Les (Leslie - how he hated that name) Stryker was more than management could put up with. Stunningly brilliant, he had zero regard for any kind of strictures, especially paperwork. He lived to build better and sexier things, and anything that got in the way of that was by definition evil. Matt and Emmett met him at a trade show where he had been forced to do a stint in a booth. His obvious unhappiness attracted Matt's attention and he introduced himself. Integra had an environment where they really could let Les do his thing, and he jumped at the offer. Before Les moved in, Emmett, Matt, and Mel held a little war council on how to get the best out of a talent like his. Though it was a puzzle, they started out with points like 'never ask him to write anything down'; 'encourage his rabbit trails'; 'make sure he never has to worry about meals, laundry, bill-paying, shopping, and other such trivia'. By the time Les arrived, Integra already had one admin employee, a girl whose name also happened to be Leslie. They hired a college girl, part time, to be Les's (the male one) valet/butler/housekeeper. It was a totally unprecedented approach that ended up paying off big-time. Joyce took a real liking to Les, and made it her mission to see that his personal life never interfered with what they hired him for. It turned out that Les was far more than a bench worker, almost on a par with Matt in terms of innovation. He went at it in a completely different way. Where Matt would read specs and descriptions and envision ways to put things together, Les started with actual pieces and combined them every way possible until something useful and unique popped out. Between the two approaches, the patent flow increased substantially, and two pure bench workers were hired. All of this growth occurred in the three years after Matt first offered to help Emmett's company. While no one but Matt was yet truly wealthy, future money worries for the principals were becoming less and less of a concern. Geri did join Integra, even before she finished school. With all of the patents they had filed, a good portion of their potential revenue was lost to infringement. Geri took to that specialty with glee. ------- The family was overjoyed when Matt said that it was time to think about college again. Even though many of the top dot-com people had no degrees, he believed that the markets Integra sold into demanded solid credentials, and he wanted the initials behind his name. No longer concerned about scholarships, he began squeezing in courses at Addison whenever he could while still keeping a full work schedule. He was moving toward a degree at about half speed, but the progress made him feel good. The business school at Addison had an enlightened attitude toward real-world experience, and he was able to receive credit on several courses through 'been there, done that'. On one point Matt was adamant: he wanted his wealth as well hidden as possible from his classmates. He dressed very causally, even avoiding the more ostentatious name brand duds. He acquired a Jeep Wrangler for commuting, a vehicle that spanned all income brackets. Matt was twenty-six and barely qualified as a senior when he met Jessica at school. He was also a bona fide wealthy young entrepreneur, a fact that he had decided need not be known on campus. ------- Chapter 4 Jessica Longley could have provided fuel for several Psychology Ph.D. theses. Blessed with the brains, beauty, and personality to achieve anything she wanted, she was also afflicted with severe neuroses. Jessica's mother, born Marie Chamblis, had the instinctive ability to mold, warp, and control the mind of her daughter. Jessica had been expertly brainwashed since she first noticed the difference between boys and girls. The origins of Marie's attitude toward men are unclear, her own parents and siblings seeming very normal. Cliff Longley, the unfortunate man who had married her, had gone in with no inkling of his new wife's antipathy toward men. Indeed, she had totally captivated him with her beauty and her apparent passion. Jessica's childhood was fairly normal, at least while she was too young to understand the tension between her parents over the lack of sex. Marie had deemed a child essential to her plans for winning the best possible settlement when she divorced Cliff. As soon as she was pregnant, she practically shut him off. For whatever reason, it was clear that she entered the marriage planning for the divorce. Cliff had been carefully chosen for his probable ability to generate wealth. Children always sense tension as they grow older, even when they have no understanding of the causes. Marie was a loving, caring mother, and Cliff an equally good father. Jessica did not suffer overtly from the marital discord, but there is no doubt that she felt it. Perhaps with some intuition that detected her mother's evil intent, Jessica became closer to Cliff from her earliest days. There was nothing wrong with her relationship with Marie, it was just that her feelings for Cliff were exceptionally strong. He had the ability to make his daughter feel totally safe and secure, something the little girl always craved. Daddy's lap, wrapped in Daddy's arms was Jessica's retreat for as long as she could remember. As Jessica grew, Marie became concerned about the closeness between father and daughter. To her credit, she did not want Jessica unduly hurt by the divorce. However, there was a less altruistic motive, as well. Her plan was to contrive molestation charges against Cliff, research having shown that charge to be almost impossible to fight for the father. As she got older, Jessica's credibility as a witness for Cliff against the bogus charges would increase. Also, Marie was concerned that Jessica might get the wrong idea about men. The fact that Cliff seemed to be an upright, loving parent had to be an aberration. Men were not really that way. ------- The divorce happened when Jessica was ten. Marie had planned to wait a few more years until the business Cliff was building became even more successful, but she decided she could not wait. Not worried about incestuous activity, Marie was concerned that young Jessica might get the wrong idea about men from being around her father. Taking full advantage of a system that required ridiculous levels of proof of innocence of abuse or molestation, Marie fabricated grounds for divorce based on Cliff molesting Jessica. In cases of child abuse accusations, due process is largely abandoned, which for the immediate protection of the child is understandable. Determining the veracity of the charges, however, is too often left to a social worker, sometimes one with a radical agenda. Such was the case with Cliff. The social worker skillfully deflected and distorted Jessica's vehement testimony that her father had done nothing wrong. Cliff had not built a promising business by being a complete pushover, however, and he put up a hard fight. Unfortunately, it turned into a scorched earth policy. In a clever move, his attorney argued before the judge presiding over the divorce hearing that if the charges were true, then Jessica was the one who should be compensated, not Marie. Marie had foolishly not included any accusations of abuse against herself, and she had a very good position as a fashion buyer. Cliff's attorney, in her brief, argued that the accusations were false, would never stand up under a criminal investigation, and had all the earmarks of a money grab by Marie. She declared that the judge's intention to rule against Cliff seemed clear. She asked that as a hedge against the possibility of pure avarice on Marie's part, a protected annuity be set up for Jessica. It would pay out to Marie the amount customary for child support until Jessica reached college age. Thereupon, it would pay enough to to cover college expenses for four years. The judge, while angered by the implication of an unfounded, prejudicial ruling on her part, saw some of the wisdom of Solomon in the request, and ordered it so. Marie's explosive reaction made the judge seriously question her entire ruling, and for a while, Cliff almost won out. Unfortunately, the way the law was written at the time, and with the so-called evidence that had been presented, the judge had little choice. Her discomfort with the situation led her to accept one more motion from Cliff, however. Cliff asked for a ruling of a lump sum settlement, essentially everything he had, including ownership of the business. Editorializing dangerously, the lawyer's brief said that since Cliff's child was being unjustly taken from him forever, he deserved a chance to start over afresh without the anguish of continued connection to his past. That ruling caused Marie to gloat, knowing that she had ruined him. She thought she had won, not realizing that the business without Cliff was practically worthless. Still, the cash lump sum was enough to provide a nice addition to her own income and there was substantial equity in the house. Everyone present was brought near tears when Jessica charged across the hallway outside the courtroom and had to be pried sobbing from her father when she heard that she would not see him again. Everyone but Marie and the social worker who had become her willing accomplice, that is. ------- Marie had expected the divorce to clear the way for her indoctrination of her daughter, but she did not anticipate the depth of Jessica's anguish over the separation. She herself could not imagine that kind of feeling for a man, and she misjudged the impact on the girl. Explaining why she had to divorce her father became the ultimate brainwashing opportunity for Marie. She spent endless hours explaining Cliff's ulterior motives for being so nice to Jessica. To Jessica's protestations the he had not done the things Marie had claimed, the response was that he was still working up to them. It took many weeks before the girl began to understand the truth about men - the truth according to Marie. Although she disdained men as little more than animals, Marie was fully aware that their proper service to women would not be given willingly. They would have to be tricked, trapped, coerced, cajoled and seduced into doing what they were supposed to do. None of those strategies evoked the slightest guilt in her. Believing that the real value to be provided by men was not in their persons but in the things of value women could get from them, Marie raised and shaped Jessica for a single purpose: to catch a man and strip him of his wealth when she discarded him. Realizing that the biggest threat to her entrapment and extraction strategy was hormones, Marie hammered Jessica about sex long before the girl had any idea what she was talking about. Marie's indoctrination would be intriguing if it was not so frightening. First of all, she stressed the feminine wiles of flirtation and seduction. A woman's first important task was to make men want her, and Marie was well-equipped to teach that. Jessica came by her beauty honestly, inheriting it from her mother. Dressing, grooming, exercise, manners, vocabulary, conversation skills - Jessica was carefully and expertly tutored in all of those things. To mother and daughter, beauty pageants were the premier worship experience. Next, Marie spent endless hours teaching Jessica about men, or at least her concept of what men were. This is where the warped part came in. All of the sex appeal things above were normal: most women studied them throughout their lives. Men did not love; men could not be faithful; men lived only to spread their sperm; men viewed women only as possessions; men had no concern for women's pain or emotions. These were the concepts that came through Marie's training of her lovely daughter. The principles were not always stated baldly, but the meanings were unmistakable. The last, most poisonous part of Marie's brainwashing concerned sex. It was an uncomfortable, dirty, disgusting, degrading thing, necessary for procreation and for controlling the male until such time as he could be discarded. A woman had to be good at sex, but must never let herself enjoy it. Enjoyment might let the male gain control, something that could not be allowed to happen. After the divorce, even though Jessica was yet to experience the first signs of womanhood, Marie hammered hard on the evils of sex. The lurid tales of how terrible it would have been when her father eventually raped her finally got thru to Jessica. Jessica Longley was born and bred to be an alimony generator. Now, trapping a man with sex appeal and controlling him with carefully metered doses of pussy is a universal female strategy dating back to Eve. It is what makes the world go around. The problem with Jessica's version was that some important corollaries were denied. There was no acknowledgment that true and lasting love could develop between both partners. It was unthinkable that sex could be pleasurable and sought after by the woman for its own sake. The idea that a male and female could complement and strengthen each other to the benefit of both was too ridiculous to warrant mention. Possibly because of some personal catastrophic experience, Marie tragically over-emphasized how dirty, disgusting, and degrading sex was. She built a revulsion in Jessica that later made her unable to use sex for its intended control purpose. Inexplicably, she also instilled in the girl a pathological fear of exposing her breasts or genitals. How could an intelligent, otherwise seemingly well-adjusted girl be so strongly indoctrinated? Just as there is a wide variance in susceptibility to hypnosis, so other forms of mental manipulation can have more or less effect. Jessica was one who imprinted deeply and strongly. Jessica had a very strong desire for affection, fueled by memories of times with her father. She eagerly engaged in hugging, kissing, and light petting. Nudity, though, was another matter. Revealing clothes and bikinis were fine. She was proud of her body. But actual display of her breasts, pussy, or ass terrified her. Touching of her crotch area, by herself or anyone else, was so repulsive to her that she nearly became ill at the thought. That made intercourse almost unthinkable. Though he had no inkling at the time, Marie's effective but unbalanced and overdone brainwashing was what had destroyed Matt's, and Jessica's, wedding night. It was also to threaten every good things in Matt's life in the months ahead. ------- There was a lot of drama surrounding Matt's dating and courtship of Jessica, much of which he knew nothing about. Jessica started dating none other than Rod Turner early in her junior year at Addison. Matt's old nemesis had chosen Addison, where he had played football before graduating. His family was old money and Marie approved wholeheartedly. It was the kind of money source she had always hoped Jessica could tap into. Rod was good-looking and charismatic, accustomed to getting anything he wanted from a girl. Jessica became a supreme challenge for him, since she absolutely would not give it up. She would be the perfect trophy wife for him and he was not used to backing off from anything he desired. Dating Rod was traumatic for Jessica. Her programming told her that he was the ideal man for her, and there was much to like about him: the places he took her and the things he bought for her. The problem was, she found herself wanting to do the evil things he asked of her, the disgusting things that should only be done in marriage, and then only when absolutely necessary. He was constantly pushing, and it frightened her that her resolve was weakening. Part of the problem was Jessica's limited dating experience. During high school, Marie had not allowed any 'casual' dates, dinner and a movie, etc. A big deal was made of the major events such as homecoming and prom. Her dates for those had been boys she never dated again. Marie's mistake was giving her no chance to learn about a relationship. That was an understandable error by Marie, since how do you have a relationship with a monkey? As with everything else, Jessica shared her fears about Rod with Marie, who roundly chastised her for thinking she wanted sex with the guy. When Jessica described the kinds of feelings she was having, Marie was aghast, almost panicking over the possible breakdown of her meticulous training. It was unbelievable that it took until she was twenty-one for Jessica's hormones to clash with Marie's programming. It just highlighted how malleable Jessica's personality was, at least to the constant long-term efforts of her mother. There followed a period of several months when it appeared that a jail break might actually occur and Jessica might give in to what was natural, overriding her programming. During that vulnerable period, Matt came on the scene. Jessica was majoring in Sociology, and like most of the soft sciences, her degree required courses in statistics that covered far more than she would ever use. As with many other bright non-technology majors, statistics threatened to ruin her stellar grade point. Matt had the same statistics class for business school, and the second time they happened to sit next to each other, she let out a groan of frustration. When class ended, he stifled his awe at her beauty and said "You don't sound very happy with this class." "It's going to ruin my GPA. I hate it!" It was not an intentional opening on her part, but he took it and offered his help. Ready to reject him out of hand, she paused for just a moment, genuinely concerned about her grade. "We could meet in the library," he offered. "Try it once and see if you think it helps." To her, Matt seemed totally open and guileless, which he in fact was. "Are you free next hour?" she asked, thinking that would get rid of him gracefully. "I am now," was his answer. Not knowing where the inspiration came from, he made a slight bow and a sweeping gesture with his arm. "Shall we?" Matt's three-plus years of stunning success had done wonders for his self-confidence, at least as far as dealing with people. Rubbing shoulders with CEOs and high government officials will do that. It had not, however, made him a polished ladies man. Quite the opposite, in fact. From his painful experience with Chelsea, he had become cynical about romance. From a few recent encounters with avaricious, predatory females, he had become gunshy, leading to his attempts to be 'incognito'. A true geek love story would have Matt brilliantly planning out an approach that would soon have Jessica panting for him. In reality, dating her was far from his mind on that first day when he offered to tutor her. Knowing that she was a world-class beauty who could have any man she wanted, he did not even think of himself as a suitor. In many respects, the fact that he was definitely in the 'any man' class had not really sunk in. For once, naivete was an advantage, for it turned out that Jessica was in fact panting for Matt after just a few weeks. She was going with Rod and did not feel right about dating Matt. So she didn't date him, and he didn't ask. Instead, he helped her with statistics; they went for coffee afterward; they started meeting for lunch before statistics. In other words, the only times they were together centered innocently around a class. Innocent or not, Matt's relaxed, brother to sister interaction with Jessica was a better plan than he could have come up with. It helped that she informed him very early about her boyfriend, making it clear that she was exclusive. She did not identify Rod, so Matt had no idea at that point. It also helped that Matt knew how to be friends with women after the years with his sisters and with Chelsea and Tracy. That was just normal for him, but completely new for her. The result of their easy-going friendship was that Jessica felt comfortable with Matt, and most of all she felt safe. Not just safe in the sense of physical safety from injury, but safe from sexual pressure. He reawakened many of the same feelings she dimly remembered from sitting in her father's lap. Rod always made it perfectly clear that he wanted more, much more than she was willing to give. Every date with Rod was a struggle between her barely suppressed libido and her deeply ingrained feelings of revulsion about sex. Every minute with him held a sense of danger, and she could never be truly comfortable. With Matt, there was no pressure, just easy comraderie. ------- Uncharacteristically, Jessica had never mentioned Matt to Marie, and that led to a huge blowup. A well-regarded Broadway touring company was coming to town, and Mel had secured a box for Integra for the entire run, reserving one night for the family. Matt explained the situation to Jessica and asked if she would like to go with them. Seeing in her mind the confrontation that she would have to endure to get permission, she automatically declined. A big part of her wanted to go in the worst way. She loved the theater, she enjoyed being with Matt, and she was intrigued by what she had heard of his family. But nothing was worth what she would have to go through. Matt was not willing to give up. He pointed out that there would be a few other people in the box, as well, and then he had the stroke of genius. He suggested that her mother come along, hoping desperately that there would be one more seat for her. That stopped Jessica cold. Marie's fascination with any kind of a showy event would make it hard for her to refuse. Jessica said she would try. It took an unusual amount of courage for Jessica to bring up the invitation. The grilling about Matt and what she had been doing with him was even worse than she expected. At first, Marie acted as if the poor girl had been whoring around. When finally convinced that the two had never met outside of school, Marie backed off from the third degree. Next came the questions about Matt, and Marie became irate again at how little Jessica knew about him. "Did you forget everything I taught you, girl? You know better than to waste your time with a college student who is probably a nobody!" That triggered a very rare explosion from Jessica, one that rocked Marie back on her heels. "Mother, I'm not wasting time with him! He's helping me keep my grade point up. You should be happy about that! God! Why should I check him out? I'm not going to date him. If you want to know all this stuff, just come to the damn play!" With that, she stomped from the room, leaving Marie seriously concerned about her control over her daughter. ------- The play was a comedy, but in the Integra box, there was high drama going on. The Conroy women cared only about checking out Jessica and her mother. Marie was equally absorbed checking out Matt and his family. Jessica knew what was going on and Emmett suspected, but Matt had not a clue. There was no nastiness; in fact, Matt had never seen any of the women more charming or vivacious. All of the social niceties were followed right up until they all parted. Marie had driven and brought Jessica. She did not like the date connotation of Matt picking them up. That was OK with Matt, too. He had been debating what to do about a car. The Wrangler obviously would not do for a dressy event. The Cayenne Turbo in his garage would have given away far too much about his status. He did not want Jessica spreading any stories around campus. Matt did escort both of his guests to their car and opened their doors for them. His Wrangler was safely hidden in another ramp, and when he got to it, Mel was waiting for him. "You're giving me a ride to our house." He never thought to argue about it. Loving Matt as they did, his mother and sisters gave him the third degree very gently, but also very thoroughly. Emmett watched the show and sipped a beer. "YOU may think you're just helping her with statistics, but she is way beyond that," Geri summed up at the end. "But she's got a steady boyfriend!" He objected. "He's history if you want her," Mel insisted. "Matt, Honey, she is just gorgeous," his mother said. "Yeah, I noticed. Out of my league." He had hardly finished speaking when Mel crashed onto his lap, grabbed both of his ears, and started shaking him none too gently. "Out of your league nothing!!" she shouted moistly right into his face. "You can have any girl you want!" Pulling back, she just shook her head and said "Why do I bother?" By that time, Geri and his mother were practically rolling on the floor with laughter, and Emmett was coughing from the swallow of beer that was halfway down when Mel launched her attack. ------- As Marie and Jessica walked into the house, the phone was ringing, but they could not get to it in time. Jessica checked the caller ID and saw that it was Rod's cell. She debated calling him back, but went and changed clothes instead. Before she returned, he had called again and Marie had answered and held the phone for Jessica. "What were you doing at the play with that creep?" Rod demanded. There followed a very uncomfortable discussion. When she started to tell him who Matt was, he cut her off, saying he knew Matt very well. She then had to answer how they had gotten to the play, and numerous other questions from Rod. Never before had there been any threat to his 'ownership' of Jessica, so this side of him had never come out before. Now, she saw validation of her mother's teachings about men and their possessive attitude toward women. But Matt had never acted that way! Whether he knew it or not, Matt was now in a battle for Jessica's heart. Surprisingly, Marie had not checked out Matt before the play, believing Jessica's claims that he was nothing but a volunteer tutor. What she saw when the two were together belied that claim, though, and the next morning she hired an investigation. When the results opopn Matt came back, Marie was faced with a dilemma. Both men had money. Rod fit the image of men that she had been drilling into Jessica, but Matt did not. There was real danger that the girl might develop genuine affection for Matt, and she worried that her conditioning could be weakened. Having seen how Matt affected her daughter, she decided not to interfere in her selection between the two of them. Jessica had always shown disturbing signs of gullibility. She might just believe the siren song of professed love if sung by a man she was comfortable with. The few signs of rebellion that had been sparked by discussions about Matt were completely unprecedented. Whichever man Jessica chose, the economics were promising. Rod fit everything Marie believed about men, and would be the best choice. However, if Jessica chose Matt, they would find a way to plunder him, as well. Marie decided to concentrate on reinforcing her daughter's beliefs about men and how to deal with them and let her choose which man she would use. ------- At lunch before the next class, Matt found out that Jessica's boyfriend was Rod Turner, the one who had taken Chelsea from him. Up until that time, she had never mentioned Rod's name and Matt had chosen not to ask anything about him. There was no way Matt could completely hide his reaction to the news and she caught it. Rod had said he knew Matt very well, and that was why she revealed his identity to Matt. From Rod's comment she knew it was not a good relationship between the two and her curiosity was piqued. Matt was not about to tear down her boyfriend and was very reluctant to say more than that they were high school classmates. For two weeks he stonewalled her, but she just had to know. In frustration, she called Joyce one evening. Instinctively wanting to tell the story, Joyce had to restrain herself and ended up saying no more than Matt had already revealed. Jessica was not used to being rebuffed and she was also a very resourceful person. She knew Matt was an honor student and she knew from Rod which high school they attended. She went to the school and found a yearbook in the library. She also found records of the awards at Matt's graduation. After calling five or six different families, she contacted Tracy's parents and started to get some results. When Jessica reached Tracy in her dorm room, a long discussion ensued, mainly about Matt. Tracy was very willing to recount Rod's actions towards Matt. She did not know all of the details of the dating and blowup between Chelsea and Rod, but she recounted the final scene in the cafeteria and Chelsea's ultimate disappearance from the school. Now intrigued as if by a soap opera, Jessica just had to talk to Chelsea. That, however, took a lot of research. Chelsea's parents would say absolutely nothing about where she had gone to school and Tracy did not know. The trail eventually led to the aunt, then to the private school, where the guidance counselor bragged about the scholarship Chelsea had received. If finding Chelsea had been hard, getting any information out of her was much worse. Chelsea almost hung up before finding out what the call was really about. Somehow, Jessica was able to tell her that she was dating Rod Turner but considering breaking up with him and going out with Matt Conroy. The reaction from Chelsea could not have been predicted. At first, Chelsea laughed almost hysterically. After a while, though, the laughter turned to violent sobs. Inexplicably, she did not hang up. Perhaps just the news about Matt kept her on the line. When she could talk again, she told Jessica "I broke up with Matt to go out with Rod. It ruined my life. I had the best guy I will ever find and I stupidly gave him up for an arrogant jerk. I would give up anything to have Matt back, but it will never happen." Then, she hung up. What she had learned did not help Jessica as much as she had hoped. Rather, it caused her a great deal of confusion. From both Tracy and Chelsea, she heard feelings of great love and longing for Matt. But why would they feel that way about a man? Men were not worthy of that kind of emotion. That's when blurry but still strong images of her father came to her. She herself had that kind of longing for a man. Maybe some were worthy. Maybe her mother was wrong. ------- It took three weeks of sleepless nights for Jessica to work through what she had discovered. Her mother and Matt both noticed her distraction and irritability, but she would not divulge the reason. By now, she had a good idea of her mother's thinking. She knew that revealing what she had heard from Tracy and Chelsea would only cause problems with Marie. The character and sexual prowess of a man were not supposed to be factors in choosing a husband. Eventually, she decided that she would break up with Rod, but that left her with a terrible problem: she did not know how she could actually do it. For all of her strengths, Jessica had a dependent, slightly submissive personality. It was what made her so susceptible to her mother's indoctrination. It also made her unable to break free from Rod. Just the strength of his personality gave him a hold on her. The hold was not strong enough to capture her virginity, but it was too strong for her to just walk away. While Jessica was pondering what to do about Rod, Matt was having his own internal debates. He was developing feelings for Jessica that he did not want to admit to. The pain from Chelsea seemed farther away all the time, and he could not deny the anticipation he felt for his next class meeting with Jessica. The end of the quarter was scant weeks away, and their natural excuse for getting together would be gone. Did he want to begin dating her? What about Rod: how serious was Jessica about him? Mel had assured him he could have Jessica if he wanted her, but did he want her? Of course he did! Who was he fooling, anyway? Having made his decision, Matt asked Jessica out for a date, only to met with an almost tearful rejection. "I... I'm going with Rod. You know that." "Have you two agreed to be exclusive?" "Um... no, but I can't... uh..." Her babbling and stammering were totally uncharacteristic. "So, you just don't want to go out with me. You want to stay just friends and study partners?" "No! That's not... I..." At that point, she started crying and hurried away from him. He thought then that he had blown any chance with her. Little did he know that many times in the future he would see that reaction of tearful flight when caught in an inconsistency. ------- That night, Matt went home and had a long discussion with his family. Strange as it may seem for a man that age to share his love life so openly with his family, it was a testament to the closeness and respect that they all felt for each other. Actually, it could not yet be called a love life. "Honey," Joyce started out, "if you're not absolutely sure about Jessica, I think you should just let it die out. I don't know why, but I just feel uneasy about her. It's as if something is not quite right. Her reactions should make you wary, too." Mel and Geri both agreed with their mother. Somewhat surprisingly, Emmett weighed in on Marie. "That woman gives me a weird feeling, Matt. I'm not sure why, but she somehow seems dangerous... I think predatory is the word I'm looking for. And Jessica seems to be too much under her control." "You discovered all of these things in that one night? Why have you never shared these concerns before?" Matt asked. "Remember, we have talked about Jessica a lot since then," Joyce answered. "We took you at your word that you were just study friends. Now that you are telling us you want more than that, we have to let you know how we feel." "Well, I admit there are things about her that I don't understand, but I'm afraid it is too late now. I have fallen in love with her. After Chelsea, I swore it would never happen again, but..." and he ended with a shrug of his shoulders. "OK," Mel chimed in, "It sounds like she wants to go out with you, but she can't break away from Rod. You've fallen in love with her, but you can't do anything about it. Does that about cover the situation." "God, that makes me sound like such a loser!" Matt exclaimed. "But, yeah. That's about it." Geri spoke up next. Any antipathy she had felt for her brother during her teen years had long since evaporated and she was firmly in his fan club. "As I see it, you have two choices: walk away, which is our recommendation, or buy her a ring." There was two or three seconds of dead silence before four voices exclaimed in unison "WHAT!!??" Geri gave a dramatic shrug and explained. "Rod seems to have some kind of hold on her that she can't break free of. It will take something dramatic like a proposal to get her loose. Am I wrong?" The silence told her she was right. "Honey, you know we'll back you either way, but we think you should walk away," Joyce told him. "It will be another tough emotional hit for you, but the alternative could be even worse." "There is one other possibility," Mel thought out loud. "Saying goodbye to her after the last class could be enough to get her to dump Rod." "That's really my only chance," Matt said. "There is no way I am proposing to a girl I have never even held hands with." After a big sigh, he continued "You're right, Mom. Better to take the hit now." He got up and gave her a hug in which his sisters soon joined. ------- Matt acted as natural as he could for the remaining weeks of the quarter, never again asking Jessica for a date. As they left the room after taking the final, he took her hand in a not-quite shake and said "Well, goodbye Jessica. I am really going to miss seeing you. I have grown very fond of you. I wish you and Rod happiness together. Maybe we will see each other on campus once in a while." He thought he had succeeded in sounding light and positive. Jessica looked like he had punched her. "Huh? Goodbye? But aren't we... I mean won't we get together..." "Jessica, the only times we were together were for this class. Anything else would be a date, and you won't go out with me because of Rod. I guess that means we won't see each other again." Once again, Jessica was caught in a situation that she did not want. But it would take action for her to change things, and she could not bring herself to take that action. Her response was once again to flee in tears. ------- Matt knew nothing of what Jessica was going through for the week between quarters. He was too absorbed in his own agony to worry about her. Once again, Rod had denied him a woman he wanted. This time, he had never actually had her, but that did not make him feel any better. It took only a few days for the strain to show on Jessica's appearance. Repeated queries by Marie had been rebuffed and she was becoming concerned for her daughter. She was sure it had something to do with Matt, but Jessica would say nothing on the subject. The fact that he had not called meant nothing as he had never called the house. Rod had called a few times and Jessica had gone out with him twice. Marie had a gut feeling that Jessica preferred Matt over Rod, and the suspected reasons for the preference concerned her. She feared that it was an emotional preference, rather than the rational, economics-based choice Jessica had been brought up to make. Given that, the best thing would be to let the memory of Matt die out and have her marry Rod. But would the memory die out? Jessica's behavior was inexplicable to Marie, but she could not deny that it was real to the girl. Marie had chosen not to reveal Matt's wealth to her daughter, and now she was rethinking that decision. She definitely preferred Rod as a suitor because he fit the description of a man that she had given Jessica. However, Matt would be just as much of a gold mine. Perhaps it would be best to let Jessica think she had some control - some choice. "Honey, have you heard from Matt since school let out?" Marie asked at dinner. "N... no. We were just study partners, you know. That class is over and we're not likely to have any others together. He's studying business and he is only taking a partial load." "I thought that was strange," Marie mused, "so I did some checking. The reason he is taking a light load is that he is working full time." "He told me that," Jessica responded disinterestedly. "Well, what he didn't tell you is that he is the CEO and principal owner of that company." "That couldn't be!" Jessica exclaimed, no longer disinterested. "He just drives that Jeep and his clothes are from Wal-Mart or somewhere." "I think he does that on purpose so people aren't after him for his money," Marie countered. She did not miss Jessica's reaction as her pupils dilated and her nostrils flared. She had been correct! Jessica wanted Matt but her training told her he was not a valid candidate economically. Even if she could not prevent Jessica from an emotional attachment, she still had some control. The discussion ended there, Marie deciding that she had said enough. The last day of quarter break, Matt was more than surprised when Leslie buzzed him to say that Jessica wanted to see him. Rather than bring her into his office, which was more library/lab than office, he met her and asked her to lunch, greatly relieved when she accepted. "Does this mean that you broke up with Rod?" he asked as they went out the front door. She just nodded and no more words were necessary. While Matt had been thinking that Rod had caused him to lose two women that he had loved, Rod had similar feelings about Matt. Matt had 'spoiled' both Chelsea and Jessica in some way so that Rod was no longer appealing to them. For a man with Rod's ego, defeats like that would never go away. The fact that Chelsea's accusations had been delivered in public had left a burning anger that was still fresh in his mind. He blamed Matt more than Chelsea. Given his status as an athlete and his parents' wealth and influence, Rod had gotten by with hitting Chelsea and had never been punished. The official dodge by the school administration was the he was just responding to 'verbal abuse'. Given the strictness of the schools' violence policy, every single student and faculty member knew it for the whitewash it was. The damage to Rod's reputation gave him even more fuel for his hatred of Matt. ------- All during their courtship and engagement, which together lasted about a year, Matt continually ran up against the anomalies in Jessica's indoctrination. Not willing to share even with his family at that level, he just assumed her restrictions against intercourse, nudity, and contact with her crotch were due to strict personal standards. He was willing to wait for marriage for all of those privileges, certain that the waiting would be well rewarded. Her unfeigned passion in hugging, kissing, and light petting certainly led Matt to expect wonderful things from the marriage bed. Jessica had fallen in love with Matt, at least in love as far as her distorted perceptions would allow. She longed to be with him and let him know by constant displays of affection. Marie was sickened each time she watched the couple together, hoping against hope the it was all an act on Jessica's part. If it was an expression of her true feelings, there would be real trouble trying to work toward a divorce. The biggest disagreement between Matt and his family came about over the subject of a pre-nuptial agreement. His family and his lawyers insisted, but he was intractable. Jessica was to be his partner for life so there would never be a need for the agreement. Beyond that, he felt that he would be insulting her by asking for one. It was the most glaring case in which his heart overruled his brain. It cost him the services of a very talented lawyer. Matt did not know it, but a pre-nup would have scuttled the marriage. It was the one flaw in all of Marie's scheming, since Cliff had had only modest means when they married and he had never thought of asking for one. The fact that they were almost standard when one partner was wealthy had escaped Marie's notice. Her hold over Jessica was still strong enough to have killed the wedding over the issue. In typical fashion, Matt's family argued as hard as they could for the pre-nup, but when it was clear that they had lost, they did not bring it up again. The family, except for Mel, never learned about one other troubling issue with Jessica. It turned out that she was extremely jealous. Any attention that he paid to another woman brought a reaction from her. With his love for dancing, they did it quite often. If they went with some of his family or with friends, he would have at least one dance with each woman in the party, even Marie on a few occasions. He would always hear about it later, but it was something he would never give up. Eventually, she stopped mentioning it, but her displeasure was clear, and he spent much time reassuring her of his sole devotion to her. Leslie, the administrative assistant at the company, was cute, vivacious, and flirtatious, besides being beyond efficient. She and Matt had always bantered playfully, and he was not about to stop that, despite Jessica's frequent objections. Whether Marie fueled her daughter's jealousy with her poison, Matt would never know. Had he been engaged to Jessica several years earlier, he would probably have acquiesced to her demands. With the confidence gained from his years of successful business, he would not change the way he treated people. Mel essentially had her own bedroom at Matt's house because she stayed there so frequently. It pleased her greatly to act like the woman of his house and it certainly did not bother him. Just as when they lived at home, brother and sister were casual about their state of dress around each other. Jessica did not like the fact that Mel stayed overnight, and when she saw Mel in next to nothing a couple of times, she reacted violently. It was with a heavy heart that he talked to his sister and asked her not to stay over any more. Jessica, of course, never stayed over while they were engaged. Matt offered to subsidize the wedding, and Marie graciously accepted. It was not a large affair, but the costumes, the decorations, and the reception meal were elaborate and expensive. Jessica as a bride was worthy of any magazine cover. It was only Matt's inherent low-profile attitude that kept it from becoming a major society event. All through the time of the wedding, Matt noticed a tension in Jessica, rather than the pure joy he would have expected. Having experienced enough other personality quirks during their courtship, he did not think too much of it, having enough nerves of his own to deal with. Little did he know that her tension was a harbinger of the crushing disappointment his wedding night and honeymoon would turn out to be. ------- Chapter 5 A great personal tragedy, a looming serious threat, a mistake with terrible consequences: these are just a few of the things that can dominate a person's attention despite their best efforts to focus on work or other activities. That was the situation with Matt after returning from the honeymoon. Try as he might, he could not keep his concern for Jessica and his marriage from engulfing him when he least expected it. It was like a dark cloud that filled his vision every time he looked up from his current task. Sometimes it was more like a coiled snake waiting to strike him when he least expected it. Simple things like an ad showing a scantily clad woman in a sexy pose could set him off. Just an affectionate couple could bring a twinge of regret. The worst part was that every time he saw or talked to his family, he remembered their gentle but earnest warnings. On the flight home from the Caribbean, Jessica had been bubbly and clinging, to all appearances the joyous new wife. Matt tried his best to reciprocate, but he could not beat back all of the frustration and the genuine concern for her. As she slept on his shoulder, he vowed to do everything he could to love her through the problems. After all, he was talking about the rest of his life. If it took a while to turn her into the sexual partner her yearned for, it would be worth it. Unfortunately, part of his mind always asked if could really change her. The answer was that he had to: there was no choice. Back at home, Matt purposely avoided any move toward sex for several days. During that time, they made the rounds of relatives and friends. They also went to a Lexus dealer so she could pick out the coupe she wanted. They ate out three straight nights before she insisted on proving to him that she could cook. She certainly could - she had learned well as part of Marie's preparation. Matt was a very open person and he was unable to hide his concern from anyone close to him. The family saw him before he went back to the office, and Mel made a point to warn Leslie that she was not to ask Matt what was wrong. She knew Leslie would see it instantly, as had the family. He was not continually distracted or moping or anything so obvious, but to anyone close, there was no mistaking that he was carrying a heavy load. At first, what people read was a grim determination, as if he faced a critical task and was resolutely working to solve it. ------- After almost a week, Matt did his best to lead Jessica into an ideal evening for making love. She, however, divined his intent, and he could see her becoming more tense as the evening progressed. When they got to bed, she was so bad that he could hardly make himself come. Only having abstained from any relief since the honeymoon made it urgent enough for him to succeed. But he could hardly think of it as success. When she had fallen asleep, he got up and went to the family room. His departure woke her and she got up and followed him. When she saw him standing at the patio door, looking over the back yard and weeping, it was all she could do to retreat without letting him know of her presence. She remained awake, faking sleep, long after he returned to bed and drifted off. "Crying? You must be mistaken," Marie told Jessica on the phone the next day. "Men don't have those kinds of feelings." "Well, he was, and it made me feel terrible." "He got what he wanted! Why should he cry?" Marie demanded. "He... he knew how bad it was for me, I guess," Jessica admitted. "Why? Was he brutal? Or clumsy?" "Of course not. He's very gentle." "Didn't you pretend to like it?" "Pretend? How could I do that? I could barely keep from screaming and pushing him away." "I don't understand. If he was that gentle, why would you want to run away?" "It's just so disgusting and repulsive. I could never pretend." That was Marie's first indication that she may have done something very wrong in Jessica's 'training'. In trying to make sure the girl never became fond of sex, she may have made it impossible for her to even tolerate it. "Honey, it is disgusting and repulsive, but it shouldn't be so painful you have to run away." "Oh, it wasn't pain. It was just knowing that I was doing such an awful thing that got to me." "But, Sweety: it's a woman's duty. You're supposed to make him feel like a great lover. Build his ego." "I... I just can't. I just feel so guilty and so... so defiled. Isn't that what you taught me?" Marie saw her predicament very clearly after that statement, and it frightened her. Not that she cared a whit about Matt's pleasure, or her daughter's either, for that matter. The problem was that her whole plan to gain Jessica a lucrative divorce required there to be some kind of marriage beforehand. It was obvious that she had overdone the negative indoctrination about the sex act. Or at least Jessica had taken it far too seriously. From what Jessica was saying, she did not see how the couple could make it six months. That would nearly constitute an annulment, with a very minimal settlement. Over the next few weeks, Marie spent every possible minute trying to reverse some of the damage she had done, but with almost no success. Her earlier training had been too deeply imprinted, and reinforced by actual experience, it was seared into the young wife's psyche. Nothing Marie could say seemed to break through. Matt tried twice more, a week apart each time. She allowed him to enter her, but her reactions were the same as before. In all that time, he never once got to see her naked, either. The morning after the third time, he could not restrain himself any longer, and at breakfast he demanded "Jessica, you've got to tell me what's wrong." "Wrong, what do you mean?" Against every promise he had made to himself, Matt lost it. "Don't do that to me! You know very well what I mean. We have only had sex six times since we were married, and every time you make me feel like I am doing something terrible to you." Shaken by his outburst, Jessica responded in a way she never intended to. "Well, you are. I mean... oh... that's not what I meant to say Matt... I..." The damage was done and Matt stared at her in disbelief. When he could finally speak again, he asked "Then why did you marry me?" "Matt! How can you ask that? I love you?" "If you love me, how could you trick me into a marriage without sex?" "But we have sex. Just last night..." "And you hated every minute of it and you let me know it," he accused her, much more angrily than he intended. She had hung in there for quite a while, but that was all she could take. Once again she fled in tears. This time, he did not let her go, but pursued her to the bedroom. When she threw herself onto the bed, he sat beside her and stroked her hair and her back, trying to undo the effects of his outburst. "Jessica, will you please get help? Will you see someone?" Through her sobbing, she was able to say "Why do I need help? There's nothing wrong with me." "If you feel that sex is that awful, there is something wrong," he retorted. "How about if we go together to a marriage counselor." "Why do we need that?" About to explode, this time is was Matt who just walked away. ------- "You do not need to see anyone! There is nothing wrong with you!" Marie shouted over the phone the next morning. If anything brought fear to Marie's heart, it was the idea of Jessica seeing a professional. How she had programmed her daughter would certainly be revealed. Who knew what would happen after that. It was Monday and Marie was at work, but the situation was so serious that she proclaimed illness and spent several hours with Jessica. She walked a fine line between convincing the bride that she had no need for counseling and trying to get her to accept sex enough to keep the marriage alive. Only in the first part was she successful, and she left very fearful that her years of hard work would come to naught due to her own miscalculation. Matt had been at work only thirty minutes when Mel hauled him into their conference room and locked the door. "I turned off the surveillance. Now tell me what's wrong." "Mel, nothing's wrong, I..." "Dammit, Matt! This is me! The woman who's loved you longer and harder than anyone but Mom. Don't give me that bullshit. Something is wrong. Big time wrong! It must be between you and Jessica." "Mel, I appreciate your concern, but things between me and Jessica a private." "Then there is something wrong," she pounced. "I didn't say that," he objected. "Matt, I want my brother back. Marriage is supposed to make a man happy and complete. You've been totally different since the wedding, and not at all happy. OK, don't talk to your sister. I've made an appointment for you at two o'clock today. Here's the card." "Mel, I don't want to see anyone. I'll work it out." "You won't go?" "No, I'm sorry, Mel." Mel let out a huge sigh and her eyes became liquid. "Then here's my resignation. I'm going back to New Jersey where I can't watch you fall apart." With that Mel walked unsteadily from the room. Matt had less than two minutes to recover from that shock when it was compounded by Geri, who silently laid her own memo on top of Mel's. He was starting to get a little angry at their strong-arm tactics when Leslie walked in with a telltale sheet of paper. "This is the best job I could imagine," Leslie told him, "but it's all because of you. If you're not going to be Matt any more, I'd rather be somewhere else. I'll stay long enough to help you find a replacement." The anger was quickly quenched, replaced by a sudden depression. Matt almost expected a resignation call from his father as he sat pondering his options. It really did not take long to decide that he had no options. Losing his sisters and Leslie was beyond comprehension. He would have to go and see... he looked quickly at the card... Dr. Julia Waxman. Hmmm. Dr. A full-fledged psychiatrist and a woman. Was she just going to take Jessica's side? After another fifteen minutes sitting motionless, Matt began to be thankful for the care the women had shown. Once he knew he had to go, he was almost relieved. Keeping everything to himself had really taken a toll. He had never believed in counseling, considering it a crutch for the weak-minded, but at that point, he cynically classified himself as the weakest of mind. Mostly, he desperately needed someone to talk to. Not ready to confide in his family, Dr. Julia Waxman was probably the best solution available. Getting up wearily from his chair, Matt left the conference room to find all three women hovering around Leslie's desk. He just softly said "I'll go," and the three descended on him with hugs and tears. Jessica chose that exact moment to pop into the office to tell him about some furniture she wanted to buy. The group hug did not sit well with her at all, given her ever-worsening jealousy. After her first expression of surprise, the anger was apparent on her face. Matt quickly disentangled himself and spirited his wife back outside. "What was going on there?" she demanded. "Is that what you do at the office all the time?" "Don't be ridiculous!" he shot back with as much restraint as he could muster. "It was an emotional moment. They all... they took a big risk to get me to go and see someone." "See someone?" "A shrink. A psychiatrist." "But... why would... is this about sex again?" she demanded, still angry. "It's about what is supposed to be our marriage. I can't cope on my own any more." He knew exactly what would happen when he said it, and she did not disappoint, dashing tearfully to her car and locking herself in. At dinner that night, he would never have known there had been any problem. She was as vivacious and chatty as could be. He was totally baffled by that behavior and more than a little concerned about his bride's mental condition. ------- It took a good part of the first session and some skillful humor on Julia's part before Matt started to relax at all. The fact that she was a drop dead gorgeous forty-something redhead with an hourglass figure made it harder for him to relax. She, of course, had faced that hurdle many times before. By the time he left, he had told her the gist of the problem and had managed to get nine more sessions scheduled over the next five weeks. At the second session, just two days later, Julia went into great detail about Jessica's behavior in different circumstances. Toward the end, she mused out loud "I sure would love to hear a conversation between Jessica and her mother. I think perhaps Marie has a big role in all of this." Matt actually slapped his forehead before responding. "You won't believe this, but you can hear some conversations. Everything in the main part of the house is monitored and recorded. I just haven't thought about it since..." he went on to explain how the house was used as a test site. Julia scheduled a rare Saturday morning session for Matt so they could review some of the recordings. The first recorded visit by Jessica's mother was almost enough to make Matt sick, but in a strange way, it made him more sympathetic to his wife. The conversation was unbelievable! His mother-in-law's attitude toward him - toward all men - was downright scary. The best way he could describe it was domination in velvet gloves. Jessica had been trained from puberty to regard a husband as a means to an end. Matt would never have suspected that of Marie. Though he would not have described himself as fond of his mother-in-law, there had never been any disagreement or tension between them. She was a very striking, polished woman, at her best in social situations. Matt had gone out of his way to be a gentleman to her, and she had responded graciously. As a picture of Jessica's mature beauty, he was very pleased with Marie. Now, she was exposed as a veritable monster. As Matt listened to the mother/daughter conversation, he alternated between astonishment and anger. First, he was astonished at what Jessica was willing to tell Marie: it was everything! It appeared that his wife was nothing but an extension of her mother. Details of their personal life that should never leave the house were referred to as lightly as dinner choices or cosmetic options. Even more astonishing was the cold, emotionless way both women talked about him. It appeared that his supposedly loving but troubled wife had less real feeling for him than for her childhood pets. All along, Matt had felt that Jessica genuinely loved him, and it was just her sexual hangups that closed off the intimacy. Could she be that good an actress? Or maybe the question was when was she acting? Was it with him or with her mother? It really did not matter which was the real Jessica and which was the actress. Either way, Matt was well and truly screwed. He could not suppress an ironic chuckle as the phrase went through his mind. Screwed was the one thing he definitely was not. Confused, angry, and depressed, though, he definitely was. And more than all of those, he felt trapped. Here he was in a marriage he should never have been lured into; a marriage there was no graceful way out of; a marriage he was gently warned against by his family. Because he had blindly eschewed a pre-nup, she would nail him good in a divorce. He was particularly concerned about his ownership of the company. If it came before a judge in that state, he might almost have to start over, and the ruination of the company would hurt his family. They ended up reviewing the recordings for most of that Saturday. Julia was free because her husband was on one of his constant business trips for the fashion company he headed. When they had heard them all, Matt pressed her for some opinions, but she said she needed to spend some time marshaling her thoughts. ------- After that long Saturday session, Matt had never been more grateful for Mel's love and care. The thing that helped Matt more than anything was Julia's willingness to become a buddy, joking at the otherwise stunning things she heard on the recordings, and even making ribald suggestions about possible paybacks Matt could engineer. It was only her buddy status that made Matt accept her analysis of why he had married Jessica. The painful truth was that Matt was woefully naive about women. The reason was his upbringing: the women in his home had been too good, too perfect. When he emulated his father's treatment of his mother and his sisters, they reciprocated. The entire family was considerate of each other to a fault. Manipulative, conniving bitches were something he had never encountered, and was not prepared to deal with. In Julia's opinion, Jessica did love Matt, but her concept of love had been skewed by her mother. She felt that the acting Jessica was more the one with Marie. The big problem was that she had been her mother's puppet for so long that there was little chance she could free herself. "Actually," Julia explained, "I suspect Jessica is schizoid. I don't see any other way she could act so differently in different settings." Even more painful was Julia's explanation of why Jessica had chosen Matt over Rod. Rod was dominant and pushed her sexual buttons. Because of her mother, she was afraid of the sexual effect Rod had on her, and chose Matt, who put no pressure on her at all. "Think back, Matt, to the times Jessica said she loved you. Was it ever after you had sex." The question startled him, and he had to think for a while. "No, I don't think so." "How about after a petting session?" "No, not then, either." "Let me guess," Julia said, "When you were cuddling with no prospect of sex, or when you were treating her especially nicely, that's when she would say it." "Ohhh, boy," Matt groaned, "you're right. "So, she loves you because you are safe. When you're not safe, i.e. when sex is a possibility, she doesn't feel the same way." "Do you think she means it, or is it all just part of a trap?" he asked, afraid to hear the answer. "Hmmmm. Good question. The extreme jealousy you talked about indicates to me that she very much wants to have you for herself. Love means different things to different people, Matt. I think she loves you in the only way she knows. In fact, I think she feels guilty about her feelings for you." "What?" "I think she is afraid she is doing something wrong by feeling that way, because of what her mother has drummed into her. She fears her love for you is a rebellion of sorts. That is why she is another person when she is with Marie." "God, how did I get into this mess?" he swore. "That's simple. You loved her, and you still do. You've never had to worry about nuances of love. Your family just loves, period. Not to be critical, but you were too trusting to even think about anything being wrong. There were probably some things that you thought were strange, but you just let them go, right?" His answer was a low groan. For another three sessions, they went over and over the situation, trying get the best possible handle on Jessica, what she was thinking, and what she was afraid of. Julia came up with a theory about the jealousy. She believed Jessica was terrified of losing Matt and the safety he represented. Without Matt, Rod or someone like him would be there. She was traumatized when Matt had sex with her, but he was gentle and did not demand it often. In every other respect he was considerate. She knew she was not pleasing him in bed and understood that she was the strange one. Any other woman would make him happy, so naturally he would be attracted to some other woman. As the tension between them increased, so did her fear of losing him, and thus her jealousy of any contact he had with an attractive woman. It was jealousy based on fear of what she would face without him. Julia encouraged Matt to try as hard as he could to reduce Jessica's antipathy toward sex. A romantic buildup had not worked, but he tried it again anyway. He tried getting her drunk, but she refused to drink more once she got a buzz on. Marie had pounded into her that she must never lose control of her senses. In all, Matt tried four times over a two week period, but gave up on two of the tries. The other two were the same as earlier sessions. ------- After the two weeks, Matt was completely fed up and pled with Julia for some help in resolving the standoff. Unfortunately, Julia's first solution was one Matt could never accept. He would have to become dominant and just take Jessica. Over time, she would respond more and more. She might even get to the point of initiating sex, but in either case, she would stop refusing him. In other words, he would have to become Rod, and that he could never do. Julia, of course, knew her solution was not something Matt could handle, so she recommended an alternative with an admittedly low probability of success. It involved successive steps toward complete separation. First, he would move to another bedroom. After a while, he would stop being seen anywhere with her. Finally, he would move out of the house. The only chance of success was that the gradual loss of companionship would jar Jessica into changing her ways, or at least to seek help. Matt spent another week just mulling over what he had learned. Then, he decided it was time to open up everything to his family. Cutting them out had gotten him into this mess, a mistake he would never repeat. Predictably, his sisters did not even question his request for a get-together. After a meal where questions hung over everyone, Matt tried to lighten the mood before he dove in. "I almost feel like I should strip naked," he quipped, "I'm about to expose so much of myself." Almost simultaneously, the three women started a rhythmic clapping that brought tears to his eyes. Things quickly got a lot heavier. Over the next three hours, Matt told his loved ones literally everything, answering questions with complete candor, and playing back the mother/daughter conversations. When he finished telling about the sessions with Julia, he was engulfed by a wave of love and concern. There followed another hour of planning what he could do to get out of the marriage. Matt's major concern was hiding his assets, particularly the company stock. At his insistence, they each agreed to accept shares such that his portion would be evenly distributed among the five of them. They figured he would have to keep at least an equal share to avoid extra scrutiny by a divorce referee. Of course, the intention was to give it back to him when it was safe. There would be substantial lawyer fees to make sure it was all done legally. More than the stock, Matt's real asset was the royalties from his patents. It took several days, but a scheme was worked out for transferring the patents rights, including all royalties, to a holding company in which Matt held no interest. Once again, it was with the understanding that ownership would later be transferred back to him. The asset transfers would take many months to complete legally, and there was great concern that Marie might make a move before Matt was protected. On the other hand, the shorter the duration of the marriage, the less lucrative the settlement was likely to be. Mel suggested that Matt needed to take extra precautions against attempts to prove him unfaithful. He and Mel very often traveled together. Liking their comforts on the road, they usually got a two bedroom suite together, generally with two baths, but not always. Mel thought they had better stop that practice, though both would miss the companionship. They all had to assume it was Marie's intention to score a big divorce win for her daughter. It was hard for Matt to believe Jessica was involved in such a plot, but being around PIs had convinced him that his family's cautions should be taken seriously. There was no question that Jessica's insane jealousy could drive her to try and trap him. ------- The first step in the gradual separation was much harder than Matt thought it would be. When they finished supper one night, he quietly told Jessica he was moving to the guest suite. At first, she just looked at him in stunned silence, then "Is... is there another woman?" That was not at all what he expected, but he was never sure what to expect any more. "No, there is no other woman. There never has been." "Th... then, why?" "I can't take it any more." "I suppose this is about sex again, isn't it?" Her face showed the first signs of fear. "Yes, it is. That shouldn't surprise you." "But I like sleeping beside you. Don't you like it, too?" Now she was pleading. "Yes I like it, but it's not enough. If I keep on sleeping beside you, you will think it's enough. You need to know that it's not." It had taken days to work up the courage to do this, all the while vowing to keep his voice free of emotion. So far, he had managed. "How long will you stay in the guest room?" Now, a little panic was creeping into her voice. "Forever, I guess. At least as long as we are married." He barely avoided wincing when he let that slip out. The possibility of ending the marriage was something he had wanted to avoid mentioning for a while. Watching her reaction, though, he was glad he had said it. She stood motionless for many seconds, her face deathly pale. Then, she gasped, broke into tears, and fled to the bedroom. Matt waited a very uncomfortable two hours before he rapped on the bedroom door and entered when he found it unlocked. Jessica was lying on her stomach and turned her head to look at him with red-rimmed eyes. He walked to the closet and grabbed as many hangers of his clothes as he could. Before he reached the door, she spoke up. "Matt, please! Don't do this! We're married. We're supposed to sleep together." "You're right, Jessica. We're married. We're supposed to have sex together. I'm supposed to be able to enjoy looking at my naked wife. I don't get to do any of those things." "But we have sex." "How often would you say we have sex?" That stopped her. "But why does it have to be so often?" "Because we're both supposed to want to have it more than once every week or two. How long since I've seen you naked?" "Why is that so important to you? Do you just want to embarrass me, or what?" With that question, Matt felt his anger start to rise. He was determined to keep his cool, so he walked out, hung up his load in the guest room, then waited several minutes before going back for another load. It took another half hour before he had transferred all of his possessions. He pointedly did not speak to Jessica or even look at her as he finished. She cried softy the whole time. Matt made it a point to listen for Jessica getting ready for bed. When he thought she was in bed, he went in and kissed her goodnight. He did not say the customary 'I love you, ' and she was sniffling by the time he reached the door. Before leaving for work in the morning, he went through the customary goodbye routine. The objective of this phase was to make everything the same except where he slept. ------- As part of the sound recording, Matt had recently installed a device that recorded both ends of all phone conversations. The day after he moved out of the bedroom, he expected some interesting, if not necessarily pleasant, recordings. He was not disappointed. The garage door was hardly down when Jessica called her mother. In a shaky voice, she told Marie that Matt had moved out of the bedroom, and Marie said she would be right over. "Why did you let him do that?" Marie demanded as soon as she was in the door. "Let him? What do you mean? How could I stop him?" "Jessica, you should have much more control over him by now. What do you think your pussy is for, anyway?" "But... but if it's so dirty and disgusting... ?" "Of course it is. But a wife has to use it to control her man. Looks like you're going to have to increase the frequency." "How will I do that when he's not even in my bed any more?" "Don't be ridiculous! Do you think he would turn you down if you offered yourself? He never has before, has he?" "I... I've never..." "Oh, my! You've carried things too far. You've really never initiated sex?" "N... no." "Well, now you're going to have to. Think you can stand to do it a little more often?" "I think so. It's not so bad, really." "What are you saying? Not so bad?" "I mean, he's nice and gentle, and he does things to get me ready. It... it actually feels pretty nice." "JESSICA! Pretty nice!? How can you say that? I did not bring you up that way. A woman who enjoys sex is a slut!" Jessica just sat looking at the floor, too cowed to say anything. "Now, do you think there's another woman?" "He says not, and I don't really think there is. He always offers to take me along on his trips, so I doubt he is setting up any liaisons. I hope not." "Hope note? Whyever would you say that? If we can catch him, you can divorce him for adultery and clean him out." "But I don't want a divorce." "Why not? Don't tell me you still think you love him. After what he's done?" Knowing well Marie's opinion of love, Jessica again sat in silence. Realizing a softer approach might be better right then, Marie asked. "Jessica, what do you want to happen?" "I want things back the way they were. I want him in bed with me." "Well, I'm afraid that's up to you." ------- Matt sat up late that night and played the mother/daughter conversation over again, trying to decide what to do. Jessica had not 'propositioned' him that night, but he fully expected it soon. He almost got hard from the prospect of sex, but a rational corner of his brain told him to think carefully and stick to the plan. He left a message on Julia's voice mail early the next morning. He had prepared a CD of the conversation and loaded the pictures onto his laptop. He needed to get Julia's take on this. "I would say there is a basis of love for you, there," Julia told him after the first pass of the conversation. They were talking as she ate lunch at her desk, her calendar being full. "That means there is at least a chance to change her into the woman you thought you married. Question is, do you want to put forth that much effort, and what are the chances of success?" "As long as she is attached to her mother, it is probably hopeless," Matt responded. "Do you still love her?" One never likes to hear a question when the answer is unclear. A few weeks earlier, Matt would have answered quickly in the affirmative. Now, the love was still there, but he could feel it dying. "If you're asking if I'm willing to hurt her, I'm sorry to say the answer is yes. I don't want to, but if the choice is sacrificing everything else I've achieved, I will do it. I wish I could get her mother out of the picture." "Perceptive answer," Julia mused. "You'd best not make the comment about her mother to anyone who is not restrained by doctor/patient privilege, though." As he drove back from Julia's office, Matt was again thankful that the women had forced him to go to Julia. It may have preserved his sanity and his wealth, to boot. The upshot of that day's discussion was that he would stay the course and refuse to have sex with Jessica if she offered. He would demand that she get professional help first. ------- Three days after Matt moved out of the bedroom, Jessica asked him, "Matt, Honey, would you like to join me in bed tonight? We can make love." He had thought out possible answers. "Jessica, I've thought about it a lot, and I don't think we have ever made love. For you, it was always distasteful and frightening. You let me use you to masturbate. The last few times, it made me feel like a rapist, and I don't want to do that any more. I think we had best consider sexual relations between us as over. Of course, if you would get professional help, that could change." He knew his statement would hit her hard, and it did. She recoiled as if he had struck her hard. She stared at him wordlessly for a moment, then made a groaning sound, turned, and dashed away. Not wanting to ease the pressure, he went to her after she had gotten in bed, and set beside her. "Sweetheart, I'm puzzled by your reaction earlier. You looked like you were shocked and upset with my answer. I thought you would be happy." "Wh... why would I be happy?" "All along you've wanted a marriage without sex, haven't you?" "Why do you think that's what I wanted?" "What else was I supposed to think? I thought you made it very clear." "But that's not what... I mean..." Again she just stared at him, unable to come up with the right words. After ten or fifteen seconds, he kissed her softly and walked toward the door. "Wait!" she called out just before he left. "Come back, please." When he was again sitting on the bed, she asked him "Don't you want to have a family?" Obviously, Jessica had been planning her shots, as well. She had taken a couple of big blows, but was still swinging. During their courtship, Matt had talked honestly about his desire for a family. To him, family was a wonderful thing, and he wanted to pass that on. Now, of course, everything had changed. "Having a family requires sex, Jessica. I meant it when I said I could not do that to you any more." He let that sink in while he debated the wisdom of his next statement. He decided to deliver another blow, even though it was much earlier than he had originally planned. "Besides the sex problem, I don't think it is wise to bring a child into a marriage that probably won't last." She took that like another physical blow. Her pain hurt him, and he hurried out so he wouldn't see her reaction any longer. It hurt him to see her anguish, but he could not let that deter him. ------- Matt grimly settled in for the tense waiting game that would decide his financial future. He had given up any hope of salvaging his marriage and was focused on protecting his family. Not knowing when Marie might spring some kind of money grab, it was hard for him to relax. At Julia's urging, he had hired a detective to find out more about Marie. The story of how she played the legal system to rip off her husband, apparently a decent man and a loving father, sent shivers up Matt's spine. He became paranoid of any situation that could give Marie fuel for her plot. Matt traveled almost weekly, usually just a one or two night jaunt to visit a client. In addition, there were two major security system conventions each year, and Integra had a booth and a hospitality suite at these events. In fear of any situation that could be twisted for Marie's purposes, Matt began taking Les or one of the other male employees with him on every trip. When traveling with Mel, they had always rented a two-bedroom suite, and she suggested he continue that practice. Having another man in the suite eliminated any suspicion of a liaison between Matt and a woman. While Matt was taking every possible precaution and hoping against hope that he could somehow protect the assets he and his family had acquired, his home situation was beyond strange. Jessica's schizoid behavior became continually more pronounced. For most of the time, she would act as if they were the ideal newlywed couple, still awaiting their first serious quarrel. It was as if their separate bedrooms and her sexual phobia were not even real. She had given up trying to entice Matt into sex and chose to just pretend the issue did not exist. Matt tried to follow along with her fantasies and most of the time he succeed quite well. Along with her schizoid fantasies, Jessica's jealousy also worsened. It got to the point where even an unknown young woman nearby would make her nervous. Despite her fantasies, she knew that she was losing him and the jealousy was a way of striking out at something - anything. The stressful waiting game went on for several weeks. One of the big conventions was approaching, but he did not invite Jessica to accompany him as he always had before. She had always refused, knowing that he would have little time for her, but being asked had been important to her. It was just one more signal that she was losing him. Naturally it cranked her jealous up another notch. Les always attended the conventions, now quite willingly as opposed to his previous reluctance. Since he and Matt often met together with prospects or customers, sharing a suite was quite logical. Leslie and Les had hit it off immediately. It was not a romantic relationship but a battle of wits. Great amounts of creative energy were expended on their one-upmanship battles, but neither would have it any other way. As the convention approached, Les had scored the last coup, and Leslie was eager to even the score. Her idea was simple but very effective. At every convention, Integra gave out a contact card with information on how to reach all of the employees at the event. Les hated his real name, and Leslie gleefully entered 'Leslie Stryker' on the contact card mockup for the printer. In one of those little mixups that happen so frequently, a folder of convention materials was delivered to the house minutes after Matt left for the airport. Jessica called him on the cell and told him what had happened. He asked her to flip through the documents and describe them for him, which she did. He told her there was nothing he could not replace and they hung up. In the folder was a contact card and Jessica naturally looked for Matt's name. Right below it was 'Leslie Stryker', with the same room number as Matt. Later, Julia's rather unscientific explanation was that Jessica 'just snapped.' The strain of her multiple personalities was even greater than what Matt had to endure. She had never taken the time to learn the last names of Les and Leslie, and did not know his given name. The fear that had fueled her jealously had just been validated, and it was more than her tortured psyche could handle. The multiple personalities warring within her morphed into one the was borderline rational. Before Matt had reached the airport, Jessica had called Rod and asked him to come right over. ------- The next day, Jessica was horrified at what she had done. In a panic, she drove to the office, not even sure why she was doing it. When she walked in and saw Leslie in her usual place, she nearly fainted. "I... I thought... the convention... contact card..." was all she could get out. "Oh, no," Leslie laughed. "That's Les on the card. Didn't you know that his actual name is Leslie? He hates it, and I couldn't resist." Jessica could not hide her shock as she hurried back out the door, leaving behind a very puzzled Leslie. For the three more days that Matt was gone, Jessica went through agonies of regret and remorse and thought seriously about suicide. She could not wait for Matt to return, but at the same time she was dreading what might happen when he did. ------- Conventions were always exhausting, and when Matt finally got home, he was too weary to even worry about what would happen with Jessica. The protection of his assets was started, but it looked like many months before he could file for divorce with relative safety. It was a period he was not looking forward to, but he had to try and stretch it out. If Marie talked her daughter into filing earlier, all of his planning could be for naught. These thoughts were still rattling through Matt's head when he stepped through the front door to be almost knocked over by Jessica throwing her arms around him. This level of contact had not happened in weeks. He had to suppress the immediate thrill he always got from her delightful body and remind himself of the larger objective. Pushing her back as gently as he could, he saw a desperation in her eyes that had never been there before. "Matt, please! I need to be with you. I'm ready to change. I'll be the wife you want, I promise." Her words triggered alarm bells rather than an erection. He had to have time to think, and it struck him that he needed to review the recordings and pictures from the week. Making an excuse about some work from the convention that he had to handle, he left Jessica sobbing against the wall. ------- The next three hours were forever etched in Matt's memory like a surreal sci-fi movie or a foreign film with subtitles. The things he saw on the screen and heard from the speakers could not have happened, but they had. The beautiful, vivacious women he had fallen in love with; the wife who professed her deep love for him; the wife who treated their rare intercourse as an ordeal; the wife who denied him the sight of her body; he watched in horror as she stood in the family room and took off her clothes for her former suitor. Rod asked if they could go to the bedroom, but she refused. Several weeks earlier, Matt had considered extending the surveillance cameras to the bedroom and bathroom, allowing him to at least get pictures of his beautiful wife naked, even if he was denied the in-flesh sight. Even though he was in the security equipment business, he had a strong personal distaste for spying, and could not intrude on his wife that way. Truth be told, he was even uncomfortable with the audio recordings that had been so important to him. Although she never said it, Matt sensed that allowing Rod into what had for a short time had been their marriage bed was a step she just could not take. If they had gone there, he would never have gotten the pictures that were now threatening his sanity. He saw her take Rod's cock clumsily in her hands, something he had never dared even suggest. When she let him lick her pussy, he choked with emotion, thinking of the hundreds of times he had longed to do that. It only got worse for Matt when Rod entered his wife from behind, doggy style. His own rare access to her pussy had been limited to missionary. Yet another joining with her on top piled pain on pain. Jessica was responding! She showed none of the fear reaction that had ruined their few couplings. He saw the sexual partner he thought he had married, but with another man. The other man was Rod Turner, of all people. The horrible part of the interlude between Jessica and Rod lasted less than an hour. Matt sat in a nearly catatonic state as pictures showed the pair dressing. It was at least fifteen minutes before he was even able to move. Even then, his movements were robotic as his brain was overloaded with images and questions. On autopilot, he transferred the sound and images from the entire encounter to both an external hard drive and a series of DVDs. As he worked, he forced his brain to shift from questions to plans. It took a while before it finally dawned on him that he had the way out of his marital dilemma. The pain did not go away, but the new realization produced fog-clearing adrenalin. When Matt finally emerged from the office, he found Jessica standing nervously in the kitchen. He asked her to sit at the table. "Jessica, I don't want you to say a single word. Just listen to what I tell you." With that, he laid four printed pictures in front of her. He thought she was going to stroke out when she looked at them. "Matt, please! I thought..." she started to plead with him. "I told you not to say anything!" he barked at her. "Tomorrow, divorce papers will be delivered. The grounds will be listed as irreconcilable differences. You will receive $100,000 in cash, and you can keep all of you personal things plus the Lexus. That is all. You will agree to the terms immediately and sign without engaging a lawyer. If you choose to fight this, I will change the grounds to adultery. I have pictures of everything. You will end up with nothing." His suitcase was still by the door, and he had a shoulder bag with the evidence. He walked out the door before Jessica could recover enough to react. He went to his parents' house and asked to stay the night. They honored his request to delay an explanation until the next day. It was over, but it did not help Matt sleep that night. He did not allow himself to wonder how Jessica was feeling. He knew there was something strange about the whole situation, but he had to take care of himself first. ------- The next day Matt was up before dawn. His parents had apparently been waiting for him, and joined him over coffee in the dark kitchen. They did not know how to react as he told the story. They genuinely liked Jessica, despite their concerns over her appropriateness for their son. They knew he would view the dissolution of his marriage as a failure, no matter how badly it had soured. At the same time, they were greatly relieved that most of his success had been protected. In typical fashion, they reacted by comforting him the best they could without either condemning or rejoicing. Delaying going to work, Matt was at the bank when it opened. He moved all of their joint money to his own private account, and had a cashier's check for $100,000 cut for Jessica. The next stop was the lawyer. Stifling her shock, she said the documents would be delivered to his house later that day. Matt left the check with her. It was almost noon when he got to the office. This had caused no particular stir, since regular hours were not his style. The normalcy of the office environment was jarring to his senses, which were still reeling from the events of the previous night. "Morning, Matt. Barely," Leslie said with her usual mischievous twinkle. After looking at him again, she added "You look a little preoccupied. Tough convention?" "Yeah, you could say," Matt mumbled back. "Say Matt, I think a little joke of mine may have upset Jessica." Leslie handed him one of the little contact cards. "I know how his full name pisses off Les, so I put it on the card to get even for a little prank he pulled on me. Somehow she got ahold of one. Um, look at the room numbers there." Suddenly, the whole thing was clear. Matt didn't know whether to laugh, cry, explode, or collapse. Jessica's mindless jealousy drove her to do the impossible. She willingly had sex with Rod. He was reminded of Julia's analysis of why she had chosen to marry him instead of Rod. The accuracy of it made him shiver. Leslie was watching Matt with a concerned look on her face. "Did I, uh, really screw something up, here?" "Well, things got extremely screwed up, all right," he replied. "But don't worry. You're not in trouble." He didn't dare give in to his urge to pick her up and dance her around the office. ------- A month later, the dust had pretty much settled, but it could not be said that life had returned to normal. Normal was too hard to define. Learning from the past, Matt had gone to Julia immediately to find some help with his mental and emotional turmoil. It had allowed him to work and to sleep, but it had not filled the big empty spot within him. Jessica had signed the divorce in two days, driving Marie into a towering rage. Jessica had barely arrived at her mother's house with a suitcase when Marie was pounding on Matt's door. "You bastard! How did you manage to strand my daughter with practically nothing?" she screamed at him as he opened the door. "Would you like to come in, Marie, or would you rather just scream from out here?" Knocked slightly off balance by his quip, Marie stomped past him into the house, spun on her heel, and got back into rhythm. "What kind of thuggery did you pull to get her to accept that insulting settlement?" "I guess she just agreed that we really did have irreconcilable differences." "I doubt that! You pulled some kind of dirty trick on her. She deserves a lot more for living with you." "So, Jessica hasn't told you what caused the divorce?" "How should she know why you chose to dump her?" "Can you think of anything about the marriage I might not have been happy with, Marie?" "How should I know? Jessica didn't share much about her private life." "I'm not going to mess around with you any longer after that lie, Marie. I have recordings of every conversation between you and your daughter either here or on the phone. They go back to when we returned from the honeymoon. I know just how sick and twisted you are. And I know just how badly you have warped your lovely daughter. You have ruined her life with your poison, and nearly ruined mine. As it is, you've given me a life-long heartache. I loved Jessica. I hate to hurt anyone, particularly someone I love." Marie's bluster was dampened by the revelation that Matt had heard all their conversations. It took a full minute before she regained form. "We're getting a lawyer. We'll sue until we get what she deserves." "Jessica will not agree to that, I can guarantee you. If you try, she will end up with nothing. She'll tell you that. I don't think we have anything more to talk about, Marie. I am not sorry that this is the last time I will ever see you." ------- The meeting with Jessica was much quieter, but much more stressful. Three weeks after the divorce agreement, Matt invited her to meet him for coffee. He wanted it in a public place, but he did not want anything as elaborate as a meal. "Matt, will you let me explain what happened?" she started in as soon as they were seated. "I already know exactly what happened. I know about the contact card and Leslie's prank. I know, Jessica, but I'm afraid I will never understand." "I don't understand, either," she said quietly. "I know why you chose me over Rod, and I know the effect he has on you." "How can you know those things? I don't know them." "I found a great psychiatrist. After listening to several of your conversations with your mother, and after several sessions, she explained it to me." She looked at him with watery eyes before speaking again. "If I had gone when you offered it, I might still have a marriage." "There's no guarantee of that, but it doesn't matter much, now. The marriage was never planned to last very long anyway. At least not by you." "No Matt! I wouldn't have..." she started to protest "Don't bother. Remember, I've heard everything. Listen, I believe a lot of your problems are not your fault." "You mean my mother is the problem?" There was a combative note in her question. Matt ignored her. "If you will get help, I will pay for it, above and beyond the settlement." "I suppose you have the shrink all picked out." "No. Choose whoever you want. I have only one condition. Your mother must not be involved in the selection." "Was yours a man or a woman?" she asked. "Woman. Most definitely." He had no idea why he had made the last comment. "Then I want the same one you used. Why are you doing this, Matt? You're not obligated." "No I'm not. But I don't hate you. I loved you with all my heart, and it's not all dead. I had to divorce you, you know that. But I want you to have a good life. I think you know you need help for a good life, don't you." Jessica gave him a long, thoughtful look before her expression hardened. "You kept saying you loved me all the time we were together, Matt. Why did you say it? I know that men don't really love the way women do." That statement almost stopped his heart. He was pretty sure she saw the tears that sprouted in his eyes. He stood, mumbled "Here is her card" tossed it at her, and walked away. Julia, of course, scrupulously avoided any mention of Jessica as Matt continued to see her, although he had given her permission to tell Jessica everything about his own sessions. He was pleased to hear from other sources some time later that Jessica had severed all ties with her mother. Matt dove into his work as never before, and it showed in the company results. He had absolutely no interest in dating and was not sure he ever would. His marriage constituted the biggest failure of his life, and he was not at all interested in another such failure. Confidence in his ability to understand women was totally lacking. On top of that, one man, Rod Turner, had been the cause of him losing the two women he had loved. That the second time had saved him and his family financially did not wipe out the insult. If he was ever to have another relationship with a woman, he would leave it totally in the hands of his mother and his sisters. They had seen the things he could not. They had his best interests at heart. The old-world custom of arranged marriages did not seem at all foolish to him any more. ------- The End ------- Posted: 2005-04-23 ------- http://storiesonline.net/ -------