Storiesonline.net ------- Why Didn't I Just... by Openbook Copyright© 2006 by Openbook ------- Description: Jimmy Gordon has spent his life drinking, smoking and making money. Now, his lifestyle has caught up with him and he has no time left. At home, drinking and feeling sorry for himself, he finds the one thing he really needs, a second chance. Codes: MF TimeTr hist cons ------- ------- Chapter 1 I sat in my Doctor's reception area, waiting patiently for the final lab test results to be looked over by him. From the looks that the young receptionist and one of the nurses were giving me, I had a feeling that it wasn't going to be good news that the doctor would be discussing with me. My body had already given me a lot of warnings over the past few years. Most of my health problems were probably caused by a combination of the effects from all the years that I'd spent smoking two packs of cigarettes a day, drinking half a quart of booze or more, and eating mostly greasy fast foods when I even bothered to take the time to eat. I had reached the point where I had to drink two ounces of vodka in the morning before I could make my hands stop shaking enough for me to shave. I knew that I'd find out soon enough. "Dr. Barry will see you now Mr. Gordon." She was a pretty little receptionist, but my mind had only enough room for me and my problems right then. Not that a twenty something cutie would give even a first thought to someone who looked like me. I lifted myself up from the chair and walked back to an examining office. Even that little bit of physical exertion had left me spent and gasping for air. I didn't really need a Doctor to tell me that I was in trouble. The nurse took my blood pressure, pulse and temperature. She wrote her readings on my chart and left, telling me that the Doctor would be right in to see me. "Jimmy, let's go over to my office, we'll be able to relax and talk better over there." Frank Barry was a long time friend, as well as my personal physician for the past thirty five years. He had been telling me for all of that time that my life style choices were going to kill me. From the way he looked at me, and the expression of his face, I knew that he was taking no pleasure in the fact that his warnings were approaching reality. It was another fifty foot walk to his office, but I managed it all right. I sat down in one of the two chairs in front of his desk and he quickly moved around and sat down behind the desk. He touched my medical chart, a thick sheath of papers that he had just sat down in front of him, and then he looked up at my face. There were the beginnings of tears in both of his eyes, and I was touched by his obvious concern. "How about we both have a little drink, Jimmy? It will make it easier for me to tell you what I need to say, and it might make it easier for you to hear." "Sure Frank, it can't hurt." He pulled a bottle of scotch out of his desk drawer and a couple of plastic cups. Slowly, precisely, he poured a couple of inches of the hooch into the two cups, placed the cap on the bottle, and put it back inside his drawer. He handed me my drink. I raised it up to make a toast. "Long life, Frank." I drank the drink down with a single, welcoming, swallow. I didn't want to taste it, it was medicine for what was surely coming. Frank didn't touch his drink at all. "Jimmy, there's no easy way for me to say this, so I'm just going to say it. You've got a malignant tumor in your brain, more cancer in your bones, and it has spread to your liver and pancreas. It is somewhat surprising to me that you even managed to drive over here today, given the results we've gotten from all of our testing. I've consulted with two other good men, and all three of us concur that you have from two weeks to a month longer to live. No more than a month. I'm sorry." He then picked up his drink and drained the cup. "No possibility of a treatment Frank?" I asked just because I didn't want to let the question fester in my mind, spoiling any of the precious time that I had left. "There's nothing Jimmy. I'd have mentioned it to you if there was. I can help you to manage the pain, but you should really be in a hospice where they have expertise in taking care of terminal patients. In a hospice setting, we'd be able to make you comfortable at least." I stood up, waving his suggestion of a hospice away. I waved at him as I left, half expecting him to get up and make a further attempt to convince me to check myself in somewhere for an antiseptic death. I hadn't lived an antiseptic life, and I'd be damned if I'd let myself die that way, all doped up and unaware of my surroundings. I made it to my Cadillac and got behind the wheel. It was a fifteen minute drive to my house, but I don't remember making it. When I was parked in my own driveway, I let myself go and allowed my feelings of self pity to fully emerge. I still wanted more. A lot more. But, right now, I needed to get inside and pour myself a drink, and light up another cigarette. Two weeks! Two fucking weeks! Jesus Christ, I couldn't get all my shit ready in two weeks. Once I had a drink and a smoke, I calmed down and started being able to think again. I needed to make a thorough inventory, and I needed to do it fast. Who would I leave everything to? I had a lot to leave too. In the last forty years I'd managed to build myself a nice list of assets, in spite of all of the drinking, and the unhealthy lifestyle. I had invested in California real estate since the early sixties, accumulating properties and renting them out, then buying even more. I speculated in small land parcels, but I mainly invested in rental property. Over the years, the returns had been exceptional. And, I thought, for what? What had I built it all up for? I had no wife, no kids, no family at all. I was sixty five years old, and had never even been in love. That didn't mean that I'd been lonely, no, far from it. Financial success brought some social acceptance. I got myself laid fairly regularly. Some of it was with pros, but most of it was with people wanting access to some part of my money, or hoping to persuade me to invest in one project or another. Sex was a commodity. The girl that I'd bought my Cadillac from had given me a nice blow job as a bonus, to seal the deal. My insurance agent stopped by the house two or three times a year, and took me into my bedroom and thanked me for giving her all of my insurance business. That part of my life had been fine, better than most, I was sure, but there was no family, few friends, not many people who would even notice my dying. Before I knew I was dying, I hadn't cared about any of that. Now, suddenly, I did. I didn't want to die all alone. I tried praying, but even I knew that it was too little too late. Until I heard the voice in my head. What will you give me for a second chance? I discounted the voice in my head and poured myself another drink. I'm talking to you Jimmy, what are you offering? I drank the whiskey down, comforted by the numbing sensation in my throat. There are few things more calming than three or four ounces of good whiskey settling into your stomach all at once. It was calming enough that I was willing to play along with the voice. "Whatever you want. Who is this?" I spoke out loud, making sure that the voice in my head could understand me. I quickly poured myself another drink. Never mind who I am. I'm the one who can give you another chance. The deal is, you sign everything over to the Little Sister's of Mercy sanctuary in Caracas, Venezuela, and I take you back to your eighteenth birthday and let you start all over again. "Do you have any idea of how much money we're talking about here? Eleven million dollars, that's how much. You just expect me to give it away to you on your so called promise? I don't think so. You've got to show me more than that." All right Jimmy. I'll tell you what I can do. How about I send you back in time for an hour? I'll let you pick the date, and I'll send you back, and then you can decide whether it will be worth it to you or not? Does that sound fair? I drank down another two ounces. This was some good hooch, and I was starting to enjoy this drunken reverie all to hell. For the last minute or two, I had forgotten my real troubles and had let myself go with this hallucination or whatever it was. "March fourth, 1957. I'd like to see you send me to that date in my past." One minute, I'm sitting drunk in my easy chair at home, and the next, I'm in our crummy apartment at 26 Flag Green, looking at my mother and father arguing back and forth on the sofa. I was seventeen years old again, and completely sober and healthy. Oh my God, was I ever healthy! Nothing hurt me. There was an absence of any pain or even lingering aches and twitches. I looked at my parents, both of them dead for many years. They were the same as they had been in 1957. I just stood there, listening to them arguing back and forth. They weren't even arguing about anything important. After a few minutes, I went back to my room and gathered up all of my baseball cards that I had stored in several milk boxes, and carried them out to the living room. "Ma, shut up for a minute, I need to tell you something. See these cards? In thirty years, if you don't throw them away, I'll be able to sell them all and use the money to buy you a nice house and still have enough left over to live off of for the rest of my life. No matter what, don't throw these cards away, okay?" My mom and dad just looked at me. My dad was getting up from the sofa before I remembered how bad an idea it was to tell my father and mother to shut up. I dropped the three milk boxes with the cards and ran out of the apartment. Over my shoulder as I was putting distance between my father and I, I shouted. "Don't forget Ma, a new house. Just don't throw those baseball cards away." In my life, having my mother throw away my baseball card collection, was a big regret. All through the mid eighties, right up until some time in eighty nine, I could have sold my baseball card collection for a lot of money. If only she hadn't thrown it all into the trash on March fifth of 1957. It was something I'd agonized about and regretted, for many years. Her argument was that I never told her that it was valuable. She said that she thought I'd outgrown it, and that was why she threw it all away. I felt myself being yanked out of my past, until I was once more sitting in my living room in the present, drunk, in pain, and very disoriented. "That wasn't an hour." I didn't say you could make any changes on this visit Jimmy. You were just there to get an idea about whether or not I could live up to my end of the bargain, if we even make one. I poured some more whiskey. "I hurt too bad to be able to think straight. What do I call you by the way?" I felt the pain that had been pounding away at me simply vanish. One minute it was there, permeating every facet of my life, the next minute, it was gone. I have no name that would concern you Jimmy. I don't have all day to mess around with you either. Do we have a deal or don't we? My head felt clearer just by the absence of the pain. I realized that I was drunk, but not too bad for me to think. What did I really have to lose? I didn't have anyone or anything in the now that I really wanted to leave my money to. It wasn't like I was going to be around long enough to get any good use out of it anyway. "Sounds good to me. You give me my second chance, and I'll sign everything over to whatever you want me to." You don't have any more questions? "No, it sounds pretty good to me. How do we do this?" It's done Jimmy. I just needed your agreement. The will is on file at the county courthouse, leaving everything to the Little Sister's of Mercy. You've been a big help to me Jimmy, and I appreciate it. Let me know when you're ready to get your second chance. "I'm ready now." I woke up in my bed, at the apartment over on Flag Green. One of the first things I checked on after getting out of bed, was to see if my baseball cards were in my closet. They were. That was a big relief to me. If this was my eighteenth birthday, then it was June seventh, 1957. I'd just graduated from high school the day before. I felt really good. All of my memories were still with me from my other lifetime. I hadn't asked about that, but it was certainly a nice little bonus for me. In September, my father would be transferred out to California. In my other lifetime, I'd stayed in Washington, D.C. for two more years before drifting out to California. This time, I'd be going along with my parents. There was a lot that I was going to change this time around. ------- Chapter 2 I got up out of bed again, and headed off to the bathroom to get myself a shower and to take a leak. I looked anxiously in the mirror to see myself. I wasn't as good looking as I'd remembered thinking I was. For one thing, my hair was too long, and the grease I was using to keep it in place had left it all oily and dirty looking. My skin was broken out a little bit too, probably from all that grease in my hair getting into my pores. My skin color had an unhealthy pallor as well. I was disappointed with how I looked, but determined to make the improvements needed to restore my looks and my body to the best it could be. If this was really June of 1957, I'd only been smoking for less than a year. I could quit smoking, and I was determined to do so. I took my shower, shampooing my hair three times, to make sure that I got all of the goop out. I shaved, cutting myself three times with the safety razor that I used in 1957. I tried combing my hair with a side part that I'd used most of my adult life, my other life, but the hair was just too long to look good in a part. I got myself dressed after my shower and went out into the kitchen, through the small living room. I'd forgotten how small the living space had been in this little apartment. It was two bedrooms, one bath with a living room and a small kitchen. I'm sure it couldn't have contained more than 600 square feet of living area. The whole apartment was the size of a large room at a good Las Vegas hotel in my day. I saw my mother working in the kitchen. "Morning Ma." "Good morning Jimmy, Happy Birthday. It's hard for me to believe that my baby boy is eighteen years old already." She met me between the kitchen and the living room and gave me a hug and a kiss on my cheek. She was forty two years old in 1957, but, to me, she looked older than her years. I'd noticed the same thing about both of my parents when I'd come back to save my baseball card collection earlier. In my day, forty two and three year olds didn't appear so old. My parents both appeared to be in their fifties then, using the appearance of people in 2006 as a reference point. "Thanks Ma. It really feels good to be eighteen. You wouldn't believe me if I told you how good either. Is dad gone to work already?" "Sure, where else? Be home by five this afternoon though. He's taking the both of us out tonight to the Chief's Club for dinner, to celebrate your birthday. He says he's got a big surprise for both of us." I knew what the surprise was. In my other life, he had informed us that he was being transferred out to Long Beach, California. He was shipping over for his final hitch in the Navy before retirement, and had pulled some strings and gotten himself transferred out to California, where he planned to retire after his twenty years were done. In 1957, he was stationed at Naval Air Station, Anacostia, at the Naval Photographic Center. He was a Chief's Photographer's Mate, and one of the senior Chief's in his section. In my former time through, my father and I had gotten into a big argument over my refusing to join the service after high school, and it had resulted in me deciding not to accompany them out to California. Instead, I had found work as an office boy in a patent attorney's office, and lived with a friend of mine for two years. "That's great Ma. I'll be ready at five. I'm going down to Charlie's and get this mop of mine cut off. I'm tired of having it so damn long." "Are you serious? That will make your father so happy. It will be a big surprise to him too." I remembered then that my hair had been another big bone of contention between my father and I from the time I was about fifteen and had insisted on being allowed to wear my hair in whatever style I preferred. My father had barely tolerated this display of independence, and had gone out of his way to make derogatory comments about my masculinity and my appearance, often threatening to buy me some dresses if I wanted to wear my hair long like a girl. "I'm not doing it to make him happy Ma. It's just too much bother, and it looks nasty all greased up to keep it in some kind of place." "That doesn't mean he won't like it Jimmy. You don't need to tell him that you aren't doing it for him either. In fact, it wouldn't hurt if you let him think that his happiness was at least a factor in your decision. It might make it better between the two of you." I had some toast and a glass of milk and went off to the barber's. Charlie's was a place where a lot of guys hung out. You could get a haircut, a shoe shine, bet on a horse, borrow money at 20% vigorish per week, and, get some pretty good bargains on purchases of goods that may or may not have been stolen. It was the neighborhood barber shop. Vic, the guy who usually worked on my hair was off, so I waited for Charlie's chair to be free. Charlie was the owner and the bookie and Shylock for the place. He was about fifty, and was originally from Brooklyn, New York. He claimed to have gotten his training as a barber while serving time in prison in upstate New York. Half of the time, people believed his stories of the things that he had said he had done when he was younger. The rest of the time, he was not believed. "You still willing to pay me ten bucks if I let you give me a regular haircut Charlie?" Every time I came in to see Vic for a trim, Charlie would make me the offer. "I'll pay you twenty if you let me buzz it all off Jimmy." Charlie laughed, thinking that he'd made a joke, just like he assumed that I'd made earlier. "Sure Charlie, give me the buzz cut. I can always use an easy twenty bucks." "Are you serious?" "Go for it. Cut it all off, I don't care." "Your old man finally convinced you to join up didn't he?" Everyone knew that my father had been trying for the past three months to get me to join one of the services as soon as my high school was finished. "Charlie, I promise you that I'm not going into the service. If you don't want to buzz it off though, I guess I'll just take a little trim, in the back, and on the sides." "Oh no, we made a deal Jimmy. Twenty bucks and I can take it all off. You already agreed." I could tell that Charlie was really looking forward to this. It was bad for his business, all of us young guys wearing our hair long. At a dollar per haircut though, he'd have a long time recouping his twenty bucks. "Well then, let's get started. I've got a lot to do today." I heard Charlie starting up his electric trimmer, and the next thing I felt was him starting it right in the middle of the back of my neck and bringing it up and forward through my hair. If I hadn't already washed my hair thoroughly, that trimmer would be clogged with hair grease by now. As it was, the hair came out easily. My scalp was all white and it looked strange seeing it again. He finished taking everything off in about five minutes. My scalp shape looked weird to me, perhaps misshaped a little. I looked like Paul Winchell's puppet, 'Knucklehead Smith'. I collected my twenty bucks, and endured the laughter of all the guys hanging around the barbershop. I didn't mind. This was my second chance, and I was prepared to endure a lot more than a little ribbing from guys that I hardly knew. I walked over to Carolyn Adams house. In my prior time through, Carolyn and I had flirted with each other a lot, but we'd never managed to connect. Her nickname in the neighborhood was "headlights", because she was really stacked, and they stuck straight out from her chest. I walked up her steps and knocked on her screen door. "Oh my god! Is that you Jimmy?" She had her hand up covering her mouth. This was something Carolyn did a lot, because she had two buck teeth, and she was embarrassed by them. I had always thought that they were very cute. She and I had spent a good part of the summer of 1957 flirting innocently, right there on her front porch. Both of her parent's worked during the day, and she had to stay home and watch her brother and sister. Her brother was just a baby, and her sister was about three. It was her mother's second marriage, and Carolyn was born to her mother's first husband, who'd been killed in World War Two. Her mother had gotten remarried about four years before, when she got pregnant with Carolyn's sister. Carolyn was sixteen years old, and was the best developed girl of my acquaintance in 1957. Like I had mentioned, in my first time through, she and I just flirted on her porch all summer while she watched her brother and sister. "Yeah, it's me. How do you like the cue ball haircut?" "I liked your long hair Jimmy. It's all gone now. You sure look different. It's hard to get used to." "I was hoping that you'd let me come inside today Carolyn. The sun is burning my head, and I don't want to get heatstroke." "Why don't you run home and get a baseball cap or something?" "I threw my baseball hat away. Can't you let me in for awhile? I'll be good, I promise." "You know my parents don't allow me to have visitors inside when they're not home Jimmy. I'd get in trouble if I let you in." "Margaret Ebue will let me in Carolyn. Do I have to go over to her house to get out of the sun?" Margaret had been a friend of Carolyn's for a long time, but she had stolen Carolyn's boyfriend, Jimmy Herndon, about two months before. Now they were enemies and rivals, although Carolyn had sent Jimmy packing when he'd tried to come back to her after his little fling with Margaret. "Margaret will let anyone in Jimmy, but I'm not telling you not to go over there. You might have to wait in line though, because I hear it sometimes gets congested over at her doorway." "I'd rather stay here Carolyn, you know that. Today's my birthday though, and I wanted my birthday kiss somewhere private, and out of this hot sun." "Is it really your birthday? You're not just saying that?" "Nope, I'm eighteen today. I've been looking forward to my birthday kiss for a long time too." "I've never kissed a bald headed man. Well, except for my Uncle Carl, but that shouldn't count. All right Jimmy, I'll let you in for just a minute, for one kiss, but then you have to leave, all right?" She unhooked the lock on the screen door and I opened it and went inside. She had taken a couple of steps backwards to let me step inside, but after I was inside, she stepped forward and I put both of my arms around her. In my past time through, Jimmy Herndon had told me about Carolyn, and about how hot she got from kissing, and how she would let him play with her breasts after only a couple of minutes of kissing. I started my kiss slowly, but soon was trying to get my tongue inside her mouth. She put up a token resistance before allowing me entry, but was soon involved in some rapid tongue work of her own. After about five minutes, my dick was pressed against her stomach and I had no doubt that she could feel it. She didn't try to move away from it either. I started moving one of my hands along her side as we kissed, slowly moving it closer to her big knocker. She was starting to breathe heavily through her nose and I could feel the warm air as it passed through my cheek after being expelled by her. I finally worked up the nerve to cup her breast with my hand, and she didn't pull away from that either. I started kissing her neck and rubbing her back with one hand and squeezing her breast with my other. Carolyn started making little sounds deep in her throat, sounds that seemed to indicate a willingness to continue. I dropped my hand down her back and gave one of her butt cheeks a squeeze and drew her to an even closer contact with my dick. I went back to French kissing her mouth while I squeezed her with both of my hands. Finally, she pushed me away. "Jimmy, you have to go now. Please, I'll get in so much trouble if you don't." I could tell, mostly from my prior life experience, that Carolyn was really revved up. Her face and neck were both red, and her nipples were both fully aroused. Her breathing was quicker, like she had run a recent sprint. Her chest was heaving too. It was wonderful for me to see. I let myself back outside on the porch. "Thanks Carolyn. That was the best birthday kiss I'm ever liable to be getting." "Happy birthday Jimmy. That was a little bit more of a birthday kiss than I was planning on giving you. Where did you learn to kiss like that? You really surprised me there for a few minutes." "That's only about the third time I've ever kissed a girl Carolyn. I was afraid it wouldn't be good enough." "Don't worry about that Jimmy. It was good enough. If it had been much better, I don't know if I could have pushed you away." "Was it as good as Jimmy Herndon's?" She laughed. "On his best day, Jimmy couldn't kiss half as good as what you just did. Right now I'm having a hard time not letting you come back in here and kiss me some more. How come you never tried to kiss me before Jimmy?" "I only kiss girls on my birthday. If you send me away today, we'll have to wait another whole year for the next time." "I hope you really mean that Jimmy. If you don't mean it, I'm afraid of what I might let you do with me after a few more kisses like that last one. I sure wouldn't want to get pregnant before I was finished with school." "I wouldn't want that either Carolyn. I could get us some rubbers though. Plus, there's a lot of other stuff that is really fun that won't get you pregnant." "You better go Jimmy, before you talk me into doing more stuff with you. Come back and see me later though. My mom and dad get home around five. We could go for a walk and maybe talk some more." "My dad is taking my mom and I out for a birthday dinner tonight. I don't know what time I'll be getting home. If I'm home by eight, would that be too late to come over?" "Eight isn't that late. Heck, there's no school for the whole summer anyway. It isn't even dark at eight. If we go for a walk, it would be better if it was dark out. I don't like people knowing all about my business anyway. You can come over anytime before nine o'clock Jimmy." "Should I go to the gas station and get some rubbers, just in case, to be safe?" "No, Jimmy. I was only kidding about that. I'm not Margaret Ebue. I'm saving myself for my future husband." That afternoon, when my dad got home, he was really surprised about my haircut. When I told him that Charlie had paid me twenty bucks to let him cut it all off, he gave me another twenty bucks of his own too. Twenty bucks was a lot of money to be throwing away in those days too. "I'm really happy that you got rid of that nest on the top of your head Jimmy. Now, when I look at you, I can tell that I have a son, and not a daughter." Him saying that pissed me off, just like it had all the other times that he said things like that to me before. This time, I remembered all of the trouble he and I had caused each other over unimportant things like this. I knew that he wasn't going to change his way of thinking, but I could change mine. "Well, pop, I'm glad it makes you happy to see me like this. I'll make an effort to make sure that you always know that I'm your son and not your daughter." That didn't hurt too bad, and it seemed to make him a lot happier for some reason. I guess he figured he'd won an important victory with the hair. I decided that it might be good to let him win some of these unimportant things, but I'd still try to stay with my core beliefs and convictions. There was no way that I'd give in on the joining the military service issue. If I happened to get drafted, I'd go, but I wasn't going to be a volunteer. In my last life, I hadn't been drafted, and I hadn't volunteered either. This time, I'd try to finesse things with my father, so that it didn't drive such a wedge between us. "Jimmy, I haven't seen you smoking at all today. Did you quit or something?" My mom and dad both smoked. I hadn't really thought much about it. I hadn't smoked a single cigarette all day, and I didn't seem to have any withdrawal feelings or nicotine cravings either. "Yeah Ma, I've quit. It was affecting my wind and I didn't like the way I was getting little burn marks on all of my shirts. I think cigarettes are bad for you, health wise. Maybe you and pop should think about quitting?" In my past life, my mom had died of cancer, and my father's lungs were pretty weak during the last few years of his life too. Both had smoked on the day that each died though, and I doubted that they'd change their habits easily. "You just worry about your own self Jimmy. Your mother and I can take care of ourselves." "Sure pop. That's good advice. I'm just now beginning to realize that you give good advice." "Well, you're starting to grow up and become a man Jimmy. You should continue following my good advice and get yourself into one of the armed services and get some training for your future." "Well, you're right about me needing some training pop. I think I might consider going to college or a trade school in the Fall." "Jimmy, why pay for education? In the service, they pay you to go to their schools. You can't beat the training either. A four year hitch, and you'd have a real trade when you get back out. You might even find that you like it Jimmy, and decide to make it a career like I've done." "I'll tell you what pop. I'll think seriously about what you said. I'll keep an open mind about the possibility. For right now, this summer at least, let's both of us hold off on getting upset about whether I will join up or not." "Jack, you should listen to Jimmy. This is him meeting you halfway on the military thing. Let him have the summer to decide what he wants to do. He just finished high school. Let him take a little break before he has to decide things." My mother wasn't pro military like my father was. For her, she just wanted me to get some skills so that I'd be able to support a family later. "I'll ease up on him Martha, if he really means that he'll keep an open mind. That's all I really wanted him to do anyway. Investigate the opportunities, and then he could come to an informed decision. He's been rejecting the idea of joining the service because of a bias that he has against me and against any authority. He's been rebellious these last few years. I'm glad he's starting to shape up on his own." It's funny about how people's ideas about you change when you appear to agree with them, or at least to be willing to consider their side of an argument. If this meant that my dad and I wouldn't have to spend the next ten years like we did the last time through, I was all for a little compromise, and for being easier to get along with. I'd have to work on him though to get him to speak directly to me when I was in the same room as him. He and I both used to do the majority of our communicating with each other through my mother's ears and mouth in my prior existence. "Well, I'm glad we had this talk pop, it's helped to clear the air, at least it has for me. I think that I already know that you and mom want what you think would be best for me." "Well that's good Jimmy. I'm glad that we could sit down and have ourselves a little talk without one of us losing his temper. It makes for a pleasant change. Speaking of change, I got my orders yesterday. We're heading out to California in September. I've been transferred to the USS Bryce Canyon. She's a destroyer tender based out of Long Beach. I'll be running the photo shop. It looks like we can retire on the west coast just like we planned." "Will you have to go out to sea Jack?" "Of course I will. I'll go where the ship goes, Martha. You knew that already. There will be at least one seven month cruise out to the Far East while I'm on board." "What am I supposed to do while your out having fun on your boat Jack? You know I don't drive. How do I get to the commissary or do all the other things that I'll need to? Do you think they even have public buses out there?" "Martha, Jimmy will drive you around, he's got his driver's license. Don't worry about it. We'll make sure it is all taken care of before I leave port. You'll make friends out there too. I'm in the Navy, Martha. You knew that I wasn't going to have all shore duty. Being on a ship is part of Naval duty." "You put in for a ship didn't you Jack? With all of your contacts, and all the other Chief's that you know, you could have gotten transferred to a shore duty billet in California if you'd wanted to." "I don't want to have this conversation with you Martha. It's our son's birthday. Can't we just get along one day of the damn year?" "Ma, he's right. It's a celebration. You're always telling me that I need to make an effort to see dad's side of things. I think that dad's right about this. You know he's wanted to go back out on a ship for years, but he's stayed on shore duty so that you both could raise me. I'm raised. Let the briny sailor go out and suck up his last few lungs full of that tangy salt air. You're always complaining that he's underfoot. So, now's your chance to see what it would be like with him out of your hair." "That's easy for you Jimmy. You aren't the one who'll be stuck at home with nothing to do for seven months." "Get a boyfriend Ma. I'm sure dad won't mind. Right dad?" "Are you out of your fucking mind Jimmy? Excuse my French Martha. How could you even suggest something like that to your own mother?" "Relax pop, I was only kidding. Mom's going to really be pissed at you if she thinks that you thought that she'd take my suggestion as anything other than a big joke." "It wasn't very funny Jimmy. And, it certainly wasn't very appropriate." "Jack leave Jimmy alone. He was only joking. Unless you don't believe that I still look attractive enough to get myself a boyfriend." "Martha, don't encourage him. It isn't right for a boy to make a comment like that about his own mother." "I thought it was funny Jack, and a little bit flattering too. Maybe you should think about that possibility too when you're off on your little ship going on liberty with all those whores in the ports over there. Two can play that game you know. I'm not putting up with any of that from you mister." "Jesus Jimmy, now do you see what you've gone and done? Let's go to dinner before she takes it in her head to really get wound up about her imaginings." We went out to the Chief's Club and had ourselves a nice meal. My father bought a couple of pitchers of beer, and we all enjoyed ourselves for a couple of hours. While we talked, I found myself agreeing with him about several things that I'd been opposed to on my previous trip through. My positions on things had changed as I had gotten older, and they were now aligned closer to my dad's. He seemed reluctant to end our table talk. I really think that he was starting to get back some hope, that maybe, I'd turn out okay after all. If that was true, it was sure different than it had been the other time through. It made me feel good too. The men's room at the Chief's Club had two coin dispensers for rubbers. I bought myself three rubbers. They only cost me a nickel each. You have got to love some parts of the military life. After we got home, I made it a special point to thank my parents for taking me out for my birthday dinner. I told my father that I'd enjoyed the conversation we'd shared over the beer too. It seemed to make him happy, and it cost me nothing. It was also the truth. I remember the day, in my other life, that I buried my father. I had wished then, that I'd been a better son to him, and that I'd made even a little bit of an effort to see his side of things. I was his only child, and he deserved a little bit of appreciation just for putting up with me and taking care of me for all those years. I was determined to be a better son this time through. It wouldn't be difficult to improve on the last time. In fact, this one day had already contained a lot of improvement over the last time through. I brushed my teeth and gargled some mouthwash to get the beer off of my breath before heading over to Carolyn's place. It was a little bit after eight when I got to her front porch and knocked on the screen door. She came to the door herself, and told her parent's that we were going out for a walk and would be back before eleven o'clock. As soon as we had walked far enough away from her porch so that I knew her parent's couldn't see us, I grabbed hold of her hand in one of mine. She didn't comment, or try to get loose from my grasp. We walked in a seemingly random direction. I was letting her pick our route, satisfied to be with her just walking aimlessly if that was what she wanted. "I'm glad you remembered to come back for our walk Jimmy. I was afraid that you'd find something else that you'd rather be doing." "You're kidding me, right? After that kiss you gave me earlier, I couldn't wait to get back here to see you. My dad got an extra pitcher of beer after dinner, and I had to help him drink it, or we'd have been there all night. I don't even like beer." As we were talking, I began to see that Carolyn had been leading us all the time, to the fence around Bolling Air Force Base that was behind our housing area. This was an area that was pretty deserted most of the time. It was getting darker as we walked. "Did Jimmy Herndon ever talk about me to you? I already found out that he's been saying some lies about me to other people." "I don't remember Jimmy saying too much about you. Not any private stuff anyway. Do you mean like bragging about making out with you and stuff like that?" "He told Kenny Kitchens that I gave him a blow job. That's a lie, I never did that. He told the Marcell brothers that I used to let him play with me, between my legs. I never let him do that, although he tried all the time to get me to." "I don't really want to talk about Jimmy Herndon's lies, Carolyn. What the two of you did together is your business, not mine. I think it's wrong for someone to talk about private things anyway. To lie about doing stuff, that's a lot worse." "So you wouldn't brag if I let you do stuff with me?" "No I wouldn't. And, I wouldn't make things up either. That doesn't make a good enough reason for you to do them though. I think it's fun to fool around, kissing and other stuff, but I still like just being with you and talking too." "So you don't care whether or not you get to play with my butt and my boobies then?" "I never said anything that stupid Carolyn. I said that it's fun, but it isn't everything, or even the most important thing." We had walked all the way to the point where the base fence turned and went over by the river. Once we turned the corner, we were out of sight of the houses from our neighborhood. We were alone in the best sense of that word. Carolyn stopped walking, let go of my hand, and put her arms around my neck, leaning up for a kiss. It was a good kiss, but slower than the last time. I made sure not to grab for her ass or her tits right away. I concentrated on putting as much as I could into the kiss itself. She kissed me back with enthusiasm. I sensed that I'd passed some kind of a test with her. After a few more minutes we kissed some more. It was more passionate this time. I started moving my hands down her back and across her butt and back up along both of her sides. I kissed her neck and around both of her ears and I could feel her responding as she moved under my fingers that were still moving all over her back and sides. "I don't mind you touching my breasts Jimmy. I like having them touched." Well, I liked touching them too, so I did, a lot. After a few minutes, she reached around behind her, under her shirt, and undid her bra clasp for me. I rolled up her shirt in the front and got my first look at her boobs. They were magnificent. They stood straight out, defying gravity as only sixteen year old titties ever can. Her areolas were about half dollar sized, and her nipples stuck out about half an inch. I leaned down and put one of those nipples into my mouth. I think it surprised her, and she started to pull away from me. I quickly got my tongue working on the nipple's surface and all around her nipple, and she stopped pulling back. She really did have super sensitive breasts, loving any type of contact that I made with them. I switched back and forth between them, tonguing and laving the entire breast area for all that I was worth. "I shouldn't let you do this Jimmy. It's getting me too hot." She was pulling my head in closer to her as she said this, trying to get even more stimulation. I reached my left hand down and lightly began stroking her inner thigh as I kept up my ministrations to her boobs. After a minute of that, I put one finger right on her crotch and pressed it forward. Carolyn moved right into my finger, letting me know that she was welcoming my attention to her down there. I cupped her and started opening and closing my hand with the same rhythm that I was using with my tongue. My other hand was squeezing and releasing her ass cheek the same way. Carolyn was in some kind of a dazed state, just allowing me to stimulate her wherever I chose. "I bought some rubbers Carolyn. I'm just telling you in case you want to take this further." "No, Jimmy, I'm not ready for that. I like what you're doing right now though. Just through my pants though, don't try to get inside them." "I wanted to see you Carolyn, touch you down there and taste you there too. I bet your pussy tastes good." She moaned and spread her legs a little bit more for me. Giving me greater access to her. "Don't say that Jimmy. You don't want to do anything like that. Only perverts do things like that." "I guess I'm a pervert then Carolyn, because I'd love to lick your pussy right now. You can't get pregnant from that and you'd love how it would make you feel." "Don't talk that way. You're going to ruin it for me. It smells down there." "I know it smells. That's what I like about it Carolyn. It's a good smell, the scent of a woman. I can make you cum really good if you let me lick your pussy." "We've got to go back home Jimmy. I'm all hot and I don't know what I'm doing." I knew that I'd be leaving for good on the first of September. A girl's cherry was important to her then. I was just out looking to have a good time. I was hoping to get at least a blow job, and wanted to bring her to an orgasm with my tongue. I could let her stay a virgin if that was what she really wanted. "I just want to get a little taste of your pussy Carolyn. Let me run a finger over it and get some of your juices to taste, then we can go. Open your jeans a little so that I can put a finger down there and get it wet." "I can't let you do that Jimmy. You don't really want to either, believe me." "See Carolyn, that's where you are wrong. I really do want to do it. I want to lick your pussy until you faint dead away. But, I'll settle for a little taste from my finger." "I'm not going to help you. I've already warned you that it's too icky. If you really want to do it though, I won't stop you." She was almost holding her breath, wondering if I was really going to do it. I reached over and undid the top button and lowered her zipper. She was wearing white cotton panties I saw. As I reached my hand around to slide inside her panties, she sucked in her stomach as much as she could to make room for my hand. It took me only a few seconds to get down to right where I wanted to be. She was wet and I got a lot of her moisture on two of my fingers. I started kissing her again, and started looking for her clit with my middle finger. It was a combination of several things I'm sure, but in a second or two, I had her humping back against my hand and gyrating her hips in the throes of an orgasm. I stayed with her for several minutes until she had subsided and was quieting down. I then pulled my hand out, and made a point of carefully licking both of the wet fingers and savoring her taste. Maybe she thought it was icky, but, to me, it was very tasty and satisfying. "That is a delicious pussy girl, I can't wait until you let me really give it the attention that it deserves." "You really aren't grossed out by the smell and the taste?" "Carolyn, your pussy is delicious. I'd rather eat it than my mom's apple pie. It has a lot fewer calories than apple pie too, so it's healthier for me to eat." "You are really strange Jimmy. A lot more strange than I thought you'd be. I can't believe it didn't make you sick, doing that." "Carolyn, I'll be willing to bet almost anything that you've tasted yourself before too. You know it tastes good. All girls taste themselves, and smell themselves too." "I never did!" "Are you telling me that you never played with your pussy, and then licked a finger, not even once? No lying Carolyn, you have to tell the truth." "I'm not telling you. You just believe whatever you want to." "If that was my pussy, I'd be tasting it twenty times a day. I'd make a big old straw and put one end in my mouth and the other end in my pussy and take a little sip every five minutes." "Take me home Jimmy. You're embarrassing me on purpose." "All right, but I need one more good kiss and a little more rubbing on your pussy before we leave. Five minutes, that's all." It wasn't five minutes, but, by the time I got finished with playing with her pussy, I had found out that her hymen was already gone. She had a G spot that was as big as Rhode Island. I brought her to another big orgasm just by playing with her G spot and kissing her neck. I had never met a women who was so easy to bring off during my whole other lifetime. I knew girls who could fake an orgasm simply by having me open my wallet, but none that really got off as easily as Carolyn did. We walked back with my arm over her shoulder. For a small time, while we were walking on the way, Carolyn took my right thumb into her mouth and sucked on it. I wondered if she was trying to tell me something by that. She looked at me and laughed and spit my thumb out of her mouth. "You wish that was something else I bet." She was right. I found myself wondering about what had happened to her hymen. It was idle curiosity only. As far as I was concerned, she was a virgin if that's what she claimed to be. I knew that girls lost their hymens in a lot of different ways. Since Carolyn's was already gone, I was back to thinking about dipping my dick into her before I left. It wasn't a top priority, but I'd get some of that if I could manage it without upsetting her too much or causing her any problems. Just before we got close to her house, she stopped walking. "My parents are leaving at six tomorrow morning for work because my dad has a big inspection coming up, so he has to go in early, and he has to drive mom to work first, because he says that he might need to drive around and get some things with his car. Brenda and Paulie will be sleeping until at least nine o'clock. If you came over real early, maybe I could let you in for a little while, as long as they're asleep." We kissed a little bit more. Carolyn took my hand and put my thumb in her mouth and sucked it again, and then I felt her hand rubbing my crotch area. She was definitely trying to tell me something. After awhile, we walked over to her front porch and said our good nights, and then she went inside. My dick was throbbing as only a teenager's dick can. I was enjoying that sensation. I went home and set my alarm for five thirty. I went into the bathroom and worked myself up over the toilet bowl and let one loose. It was a satisfying sight watching as my stiff dick sent out shot after shot of thick semen. It had been years since I'd done anything half as satisfying to me as my first day back had been. I thought that if it ended right then, it was still a good trade that I'd made. I flushed my several million little tadpoles down the toilet, and went in and fell asleep within minutes. Damn, it was good to be young and alive again. ------- Chapter 3 My alarm clock went off at five thirty, waking me out of a sound sleep. I was still very amazed at how good I felt, and how soundly I now slept. I stretched and yawned, then pulled on some jeans and a tee shirt. It took me a moment to remember where I'd taken my sneakers off the night before. I grabbed a clean pair of socks and went to the bathroom to retrieve my shoes and to lace them up. I washed my face and the stubble on my scalp, brushed my teeth, and went out to the kitchen looking for something to eat. One of the first things I'd noticed since being sent back in time, was how much more I was able to taste things now. Hearing and taste seemed to be the most improved, although my eyes focused more readily now, and I could once again read things without needing any reading glasses. I made myself a bowl of corn flakes, and ate it down quickly. It was five forty five when I left the apartment and headed over towards Carolyn's house. I found a place to wait where I could see Carolyn's front door and her father's car parked out behind their house, in the parking area. I didn't have long to wait before her parent's came out and got into the car. I watched them drive away, and waited another five minutes just to be sure that they hadn't forgotten anything that they needed to return for. I walked over to the front door and knocked softly, not wanting to wake up the little kids. In a minute, Carolyn came and opened the door and beckoned me in. She was wearing a robe and her hair was up in curlers. It was obvious that she wasn't really all that awake yet. "Hi Jimmy. You're here early today. I thought you might come by at eight or something. You're lucky that my parents left early or they would have answered the door instead of me." "I know that Carolyn, I watched them leave and then waited to make sure they wouldn't come back." She walked over and sat down on the couch in the living room. It was a big old overstuffed green couch that had definitely seen better days. I followed right behind her and sat down close by her. I put my arm around her and pulled her close to me. She settled right in and put her head on my chest. "I'm still tired Jimmy. Can we just sit like this for awhile? At least until I get more awake?" "Whatever you prefer. This is nice, just like this. You just settle in and take a nap, and I'll sit here wondering about what you're wearing beneath your robe." She gave off a melodic little laugh. "Not much Jimmy, just a night shirt is all." Her robe was blue terry cloth, and was tied in front by a sash of the same material and color. It came down almost to her ankles, and she looked very good in it. I kept her snuggled in by me and absently started playing with one of the ends of her sash. "Don't pull on it, or it might come loose." I pulled on it, and the bow that she'd tied it in did come loose. The robe stayed closed, and I couldn't see anything more than before. "You mind just as good and my brother and sister Jimmy. Didn't I just tell you not to do that?" "I wanted it to come loose." I reached a hand inside the robe's opening and placed my hand on her stomach, outside her night shirt. "What do you think you're doing?" She turned her head so that she was staring up at my face. I lowered my head and gave her a little kiss, running my tongue over her soft and very full lips. I didn't try for more than that, lifting my head back and away from her face. I was starting to wander with my hand, moving it around in an exploratory way, but not stopping anywhere. She lifted herself up a little and kissed me this time, running her tongue all around the outside of my mouth. After she stopped and pulled away from me, I leaned back down and this time we shared an open mouthed kiss and her arms circled my neck and pressed my face into hers. I reached up and cupped a breast and sought out contact with her nipple. She gave out a little gasp of pleasure as I did that. That girl had some sensitive nerve endings all over her body, but definitely sensitive all over her breast area. While I was kissing her and playing with a titty, Carolyn was shrugging out of her robe. She got it off without help from me, and settled back down, wearing only a man's white tee shirt, several sizes too big for her. In another three minutes, I had her shirt pulled up above her chest and was tonguing her boobs and fingering her wet pussy. She stopped me after a few minutes of this, grabbing my hand and forcefully pulling my two fingers out of her pussy. "Stop Jimmy, no more." I didn't resist her, stopping my kissing, and pulled back away from her to give her some space. I waited for her to compose herself. It was obvious that she was upset about something. she definitely had enjoyed what I'd been doing though, so much so that it had surprised me when she pulled me away. "I lied to you Jimmy, and I'm sorry." "That's okay Carolyn. I'm not mad about anything." "Don't you even want to know what I lied about?" "You can tell me if you want to Carolyn, but you don't have to if it would make you feel bad." "I don't like lying Jimmy. Yesterday I told you what Jimmy Herndon was telling people? He wasn't lying. I was so embarrassed that he'd tell people about our private things. Now everyone is going to think I'm cheap and easy. Suppose it gets back to my parents? And that's not even the worst thing either. I'm not a virgin Jimmy. My cousin Ralph, the one who visited with us two summers ago, from Norfolk? He did it to me one night when my parents were out at a party. I didn't really want to, but he kind of went ahead anyway. After that, he did it to me more times after everyone was asleep at night. I never did it with Jimmy Herndon though. If I had of, he'd be telling everybody about it now too." She was weeping softly as she told me all of this, ashamed to have to admit these things to me. "Carolyn, don't cry. You don't need to feel bad about any of that. Lots of girls do it. I bet half of your friends have done more than you have." She looked at me, sniffling now. "You aren't mad at me for lying to you, and for pretending to be a virgin?" "No, I'm glad you aren't a virgin. Did you enjoy what Ralph did to you?" "No, not the first couple of times I didn't. It hurt, and he just kept on doing it after I asked him to take it out. After it stopped hurting me, it was all right, but nothing special. I was worried that he'd get me pregnant too, because he shot off inside me some of the times. He was supposed to pull it out right before, but sometimes he didn't. Why are you glad I'm not a virgin?" "I wouldn't want to cause you any pain Carolyn. If we did it now, it wouldn't hurt you." "I'm not doing it anymore Jimmy. I'm not going to take any more chances on getting pregnant. That's why I stopped you. To tell you the truth, and to stop you from getting me hotter and doing it to me." I leaned forward and kissed both of her knees which she had tightly shut now. "Don't do that Jimmy. I'm not going to change my mind." I licked up along the inside of her thigh, moving three inches past her knees. I planted lots of little kisses, trying to get her to open her legs just a little so that I could kiss further down. "Jimmy, don't do that, it tickles." Her knees parted just a little, and my tongue went back to work just a little higher up. I was almost two thirds of the way there before she stopped me by pushing my head away and getting up from the sofa. She got back inside her robe. "No more Jimmy! I mean it too." I turned so that I was sitting straight on the couch, my feet planted on the floor. "I'm not trying to force you to do anything you don't want to do Carolyn. Just tell me what you are willing to do." She looked at me for a minute, I could almost hear her thinking about what I'd just said. She was trying to decide what she was okay with. "I can kiss you Jimmy. If you want me to, I guess I could give you a blow job if you promise not to squirt it in my mouth." "I promise." I opened my fly and pulled out my dick. It was only normal sized, nothing different from what I'd had before. Carolyn got down in front of the couch and proceeded to give me the worst blow job of my life. She just didn't know how to do it at all, not putting any friction or suction from her mouth, and I could barely feel her lips. She tried to keep her tongue away from my dick too. I tried giving her some information on how to make it better, but she took it as criticism, and stopped doing it altogether. "Ralph and Jimmy never complained, they liked it." I could tell that I'd hurt her feelings. "A blow job should be a happy, messy thing, Carolyn. You make it obvious that you don't want to be there doing that." "Could you do it better?" She was getting a little bit mad at me. "Probably. At least I know what a good blow job should feel like. Don't be mad at me. Come over here and sit down by me." She came over and I pulled her down into my lap and started kissing her some more. This time, after I got her robe off, I started on her breasts and worked my way down from there. she started to tense up by the time I got to her navel, but I had her going pretty good with my thrumming on her clit with my thumb and tapping on her G spot with my two finger inside her wet pussy. I finally got my tongue on her clit and she just collapsed, letting her body go totally relaxed and loose. I ate her for thirty minutes at least, bringing her to at least three orgasms that I was sure of. Her sister, Brenda got up and called out to Carolyn, and she shooed me out the door before she went in to tend to her sister. She told me to wait on the porch for her until she got back. It didn't take long before she came back. She had put her robe back on before going in to check on Brenda. "Jimmy, I can't believe that you like doing that." "Did you like me doing it?" "It was the best I've ever felt. Still, it looked nasty and unsanitary too." "It is what it is, Carolyn. Sex is messy, and, if you do it right, there are smells and juices all over the place. The goal is to make each other feel good." "I like you Jimmy, really, I do. It scares me that you're so different from the other boys. I could fall in love with you." "Carolyn, my dad just got his orders a couple of days ago. We're moving to California at the end of August. I was going to tell you later, if it became important I meant." "You mean after you got me to do it with you. That's when you were going to tell me, right?" "You aren't making any sense now. I told you before we did anything. This is the first chance where something came up where it made sense to tell you about us leaving. I only found out last night anyway. We've only been kissing and stuff for one day, when was I supposed to tell you?" "I don't know. You better leave Jimmy, and let me think about this. Please don't go telling everybody about what you did with me." I looked through the screen door at her. Maybe she was right about things. I had planned on screwing her before I left. It hadn't really crossed my mind to tell her about my father's transfer. "I'll see you Carolyn. I'm sorry if you're mad at me." I turned around and walked off the porch and down the stairs. I had gone back home and was lying on my bed, thinking about how I'd left things with Carolyn. In my previous time through, I'd avoided any kind of real relationships with women. This time, I really wanted to form some romantic relationships, perhaps even marry and have a family. I wasn't thinking of Carolyn that way, but just relationships in general. I was close to falling asleep when that voice came back inside my head. Jimmy, we need to have a talk about some things. I recognized the voice, it was the same voice that I'd made the earlier trade with. My mother was out in the living room, so I didn't want to start talking out loud to the voice. I projected my thought. About all of these changes that you seem to want to make. That wasn't part of our deal, all these changes. You were going to get a second chance to live your life, not a different life. All of these changes take too much time and effort for me to mesh into the time fabric that has already been written once before. You can't make changes without having it affect the future. You need to stick to the previous script. The point was that you would have more time to live. That was the point, and that's what you agreed to. Let me think about it. Maybe we can effect a compromise. In the meantime, please take it easy with all these changes. I'll get back with you soon. He was gone. I could sense an absence as soon as he left. This was getting so weird. I now had to think about what I could and couldn't live with. I had been so happy with the deal we'd made. I didn't want to make any compromises. I knew I could live a better life this second time around. I wanted the chance to try at least. I fell asleep thinking about that. I woke up in a lot of pain. I was back on the chair at my house, a sixty five year old with a cancer riddled body who would be dead in two weeks. I was still foggy from all of the whiskey that I'd had to drink. I had to go through a lot of effort to bring everything back to this point Jimmy. More effort than this whole thing is worth to me. We had a deal, but now I'm rescinding the earlier offer. It was too vague, and you misconstrued it into being something that it was never intended to be. "You made me an offer, and I accepted it. We had an agreement. You even admitted that we did. You don't have the right to rescind it unilaterally like that. I'm in a lot of pain, can't you do something again?" I felt the pain being turned off once again. That was a neat trick. Someone could do very well for himself if he could offer that service to people. "Thank you." Jimmy, what can I do to make this up to you? How about if I take away your pain, and let you live in the here and now for six months more? Would that make us even? "We already have a deal. I don't want to appear petulant, but I hope you don't pull these kinds of tricks with all of your deals." I told you what my problem is Jimmy. I can't be spending all of my time fixing the problems that all of your changes create for me. It just gets too complicated and difficult to do. The more time that passes with you back there, the more complicated that it will become. It just isn't feasible. I didn't think it through. I'm sorry. How about a whole year, without pain? "Can't you create a parallel universe, where it wouldn't matter? Separate the universes and let them diverge from the time that I turned eighteen?" You don't have any idea about how much work you're asking me to do with something like that. I want to be fair Jimmy, I really do, but I'm not going to create a new dimension just for you. I'll let you live for three more years, pain free, and I'll return all of your money. That's my best and final offer. Take it or leave it. "I'll leave it. We had a deal. You're breaking it. I'm an old man, almost dead, there isn't anything that I can do to stop you. I was strictly relying on your integrity when I agreed to take your offer. I guess that I made a mistake trusting you like that." I have another universe going Jimmy, parallel to this one, but it is 2006 there as well. It diverged in 1944 when Hitler dropped an atomic bomb on London. I could send you to live there as an eighteen year old. You'd have to learn German though. "Are you nuts? I'm not going somewhere where I don't know anybody, and where I can't even speak the language. We have a deal already. Either send me back to what we have agreed to, or else leave me alone. I'm through listening to you trying to weasel out of it." The pain returned then, stronger than before. It felt like my insides were on fire. Never had I felt anything like that before. It took everything I possessed in the way of will power not to beg and grovel for a release from that pain. Last chance, Jimmy. You want the three years pain free? "No!" I must have passed out then, from the pain. When I woke up, I was back in my bed at my parent's 1957 apartment. Had I won? Was it all a bad dream? Would the voice come back later and start negotiating all over again? I felt my dick pressing against my pant leg, hard in my jeans. The resilience of youth was a wondrous thing. I was going to hold out for our original deal, even if it killed me. I heard the voice in my head again. Don't think this is over and decided Jimmy, because it isn't. I'll wait awhile to try to find something that we can both live with. You better stop making all these changes until I do. I'm about this close to throwing in the towel and doing what I want to do with you. Whether or not you agree to it. "Thank you." A minute later my mom opened up my bedroom door. "Did you say something dear?" ------- Chapter 4 I slept until dinner time. At the dinner table, all of us were talking about our upcoming trip out to California. My father planned on driving out along the Southern route, stopping off in Texas and Las Vegas to see friends of his. My mother wanted to drive up North, through Minnesota, so that she could see her sister who lived on a farm near Marshall. I wasn't looking forward to being stuck in a car with my parents for a week, and I didn't have anyone that I wanted to visit. My father got his way, as usual. My mother didn't have that much fight in her. She'd argue and complain, but, when push came to shove, she'd always defer to my father's wishes. "When we get to California, Martha, we need to look into buying ourselves a house with my G.I. Bill. There's no reason not to buy now, because this will be my final set of orders, and we always said we wanted to retire where it was warm in the winter. We can get a house where the payment is only about what my housing allowance is on the allotment check." My parents had been talking about buying a house ever since I could remember. In my first go around, they had bought in a development in Orange County, but had sold it a few years later and moved up to Central California. They had made a small profit on their investment when they sold, but they'd bought a house that hadn't appreciated as much as some of the older and better areas down by the ocean in Orange County. They had been more interested in getting a newly built home, figuring that fewer things could go wrong with it. They hadn't thought about the extra cost of putting in a lawn and a block wall fence. This time, I could use my knowledge and experience with real estate acquisition to help them when they went out looking to buy. "Do you think it would be all right if I took a space available hop to California from Bolling instead of riding out with you, just so I could get a head start with looking for a job? I also want to check on some college courses and trade schools It would give me a chance to check out ROTC scholarships too. I've heard that they are easier to get in California because so many people go to the two year colleges rather than the four year ones. They give them out according to a state's population." Military personnel and their dependents could fly for free on military flights if there was available room on the flight for them. There were different priority levels, but you could usually get a ride pretty close to where you wanted to go if you had the time to wait and be patient. I had never flown before, at this point in my first life. "If you get a ROTC scholarship, you'd have to commit to at least four years in the service Jimmy." My mother and I had discussed the program before, while I was still in high school and looking into going to college. "That's right Ma, but I'd be an officer for those four years, and the pay would be a lot better." My father took the bait that I was dangling, hook, line and sinker. "I could give you a couple of hundred dollars for expenses, Jimmy. That ought to hold you until your mother and I could get out there and find us a place. How would you get around out there? They don't have the same kind of bus system that we have here. You almost have to have your own car out there." "I can hitch rides pop. I do it here lots of times. I'm just going out to look into schools and stuff, and it probably would only be for a week or two. I'm sure that I'd get by okay." We talked about it some more, firming up the figure of the money that my father would give me to cover my expenses. I had saved up around four hundred dollars myself, from part time jobs and birthday and Christmas presents. My parents had never asked me about how much I'd saved up. It was decided that I'd get on the list for a ride to California from the twenty fifth of August. If you left a phone number with the flight operations officer, he'd call you if it looked like a flight that was heading in your direction would have room for you on it. Otherwise, you had to wait over at the flight line waiting area. I walked over to Carolyn's house at around eight o'clock to see if she wanted to go for a walk, but she said that she didn't. We talked on her porch for a couple of minutes, but she didn't seem like she was very comfortable talking with me then. I went over again the next day at nine o'clock in the morning, and she told me that she didn't want to see me any more. She said that I didn't listen to her when she told me not to do things to her. I walked over to Margaret Ebue's house, but Jimmy Herndon and Kenny Kitchens were already sitting on her porch railing when I got there. I spent a couple minutes talking with them, but it was mostly about how glad we all were that school was out. Jimmy and Kenny were both going to be seniors in September. It wasn't even the middle of June yet, and my summer wasn't even shaping up to be as good as it had been the first time around. I had thought that with all of the knowledge and experience that I now had, there would be a big improvement over the last trip through. So far it really wasn't working out that way. I went over to Mr. Stopak's Market to see who was hanging around there. In my previous life, I had worked for Mr. Stopak for a month during this summer, helping out at the counter when he had to take his eye drops and rest in the back room. I had sold a lot of beer to my under age friends during the time that he was resting in the back. He had finally found out what I was up to and fired me for it. The guy who took my place did the same thing, but wasn't caught at it. I had just gotten to the Market when I saw Sheila Barrows coming out the door of the Market. Sheila was a girl that I had spent a lot of time with the summer before. We hadn't exactly dated, but we'd fooled around some after it got dark. She was the first girl who let me play with her pussy, although it was from outside her jeans only. "Hey Sheila, looking good." In truth, Sheila really wasn't looking all that good. She was tall and skinny, and her tits were small. Sometimes, she would wear falsies in her bra, and sometimes she wouldn't. She got kidded a lot by people because of the falsies. "Jimmy. How was graduation? Did you go to any of the parties?" There were a few big graduation parties that had been put on by various elements and cliques in our school. I hadn't gone to the two that I'd been invited to. "I didn't feel like going to any of them. No car and no date, and I didn't want to just stand around all night watching the other guys having fun. How about you, Sheila, did you go to any?" "Walter said he was going to take me, but he weaseled out of it at the last moment. He said his car was acting up, and he didn't have the money to get it fixed. I told him we were finished if he didn't borrow his dad's car and take me. So, now we're finished. He's going away to Michigan for college in September, so we weren't going to be going together for much longer anyway." Walter, her boyfriend was a football player, a lineman that had won some awards, and gotten himself a lot of scholarship offers because of it. He must have weighed about two hundred and seventy pounds, but none of it was fat. He and I had been in a lot of classes together through high school, and I never heard him participate in any class room discussion. I had talked to him a few times, and he seemed slow to me, not very bright. I wondered how he'd make out at a big university. I then remembered how the big football programs had always managed to keep their star players eligible. I was sure that Walter would do okay as long as he didn't get hurt and could help the team. "Well, that's too bad. You two made a cute couple. Like King Kong and Faye Wray." "That's not nice Jimmy. Walter is very sweet. He's really very nice. I just wish that he had talked more." "I didn't mean anything bad by it Sheila. So, what are you planning to do for the summer? Have you got a college all picked out?" "Nope, I'm done with school. I'm going to work at Woolworth's as soon as they have another opening. My mom says that she can get me working as a counter girl after I'm there for ninety days, and off probationary status. Until they have an opening, I'm just hanging out, trying to stay out of trouble. Are you set for college?" "My dad has orders for California in September. I'm flying out sometime in August to look around for a school or some kind of training." "I wish I was going to California. Are you going to go to Hollywood and see the stars? I'd love to be somewhere and see Marilyn Monroe or Elizabeth Taylor having their lunch or something." "I'll probably go by there and take one of the tours that they have. I'm going to go to Disneyland too, and Marineland." "Why don't you walk me home and keep me company Jimmy? I'm so bored from just sitting around and doing nothing." "I wouldn't want to get on Walter's bad side Sheila." "Walter's down in Charleston, West Virginia, with his father. They're helping some other relative move his house or something. Besides, he doesn't have anything to say about who I talk to or want to be with." "He'd probably hear something when he gets back." "Well, I'm not going to beg you Jimmy. I was just going to take a bath, and wanted some company to talk to while I was doing that." "Really?" "Sure really. You don't think I take baths?" "No, I meant that you'd really let me watch you taking your bath." "You can even wash my back, Jimmy." "Can I get in the tub with you?" "We'll just have to see about that. Are you coming?" I nodded, and we set off towards her house. I was careful not to walk too close to her. I didn't want any reports to get back to Walter. We hadn't taken more than fifteen steps together when I heard that voice in my head again. Jimmy, remember how I asked you not to go making a lot of changes? Well, this is a big change, so big that I can't let you do it. Tell her that you changed your mind or something. You don't understand. This would be too big of a change. Tell her that you changed your mind. The next thing I knew, I was waking up, laying sprawled out on the grass where I'd just been standing. There were about twenty people all standing around looking at me. I had no idea what had happened, or how long I'd been unconscious. Sheila was kneeling down beside me, a concerned look on her face. She was saying something to me. "Are you okay now Jimmy? You just toppled right over. You were lucky that we weren't in the street when it happened. Do you have epilepsy or something?" "I'm okay Sheila. I better go home and lay down for awhile though. Sorry that I'm going to miss out on the other thing." She blushed when I said that. There were a lot of people gawking at me, but they wouldn't know what I meant. I got up into a sitting position and I felt fine. I stood up and everything was feeling normal again. "I'm fine, the show's over folks." I smiled at Sheila and walked off by myself towards home. I waited until I was about a block away from where I'd fallen. Jimmy it was your own fault. Some times, there isn't any room for negotiation. Don't keep telling me no either, when I tell you something. As you can see, I have other ways to force your compliance. Stay away from Sheila and Margaret Ebue. I don't care what you do with Carolyn, because she has no real effect on the time line. I just fixed that for you Jimmy. You can go over there now and she'll be happy to see you. I told you to go easy on the changes too. If we can just work together, Jimmy, you can have a good life. You need to listen to me though when I wave you off of certain things or people. I'm really bending over backwards here to not simply impose my own will upon you. I could do that very easily, you know? Carolyn's life will be better with some attention from you. Trust me on that. Treat her nice and it will be good for both of you. All right, I'm going to tell you this one time. It goes against my normal principles, but it might make it easier for us to work together in the future if I tell you. Carolyn will be dead in December. There will be an auto accident, and she will come into contact with a live power line, and be electrocuted instantly. Nothing that happens this summer will alter any of that. You telling her about it wouldn't alter it either. I would prefer that you not tell her, but it won't change anything if you do. Jimmy, if you can't work with me on this, we won't ever be able to work this thing out. This is a litmus test for you. You can either try to cooperate, or else you'll force me to take a step I don't want to take. Jimmy, I could get you to walk out in front of a speeding truck if I wanted to. It happens everyday. It would be easier for me to do that, but that isn't conforming with the spirit of our earliest agreement, is it? I don't want to do anything like that. You have to work with me though to avoid me doing that. I was acting on an impulse, a whim if you will. There was a seven year old child who sent up a desperate prayer. I didn't think things through before I acted. Believe me, it won't happen again." It isn't going to happen Jimmy. No wife, no kids. More friends, better friends, easy enough to do. Meaningful relationships, the kind that you can look back on and smile about, yes, you can have some of those. There are some changes that we can both live with, but there are some things that you just can't do. You will just have to accept that there are limitations that you'll have to live with. I had been walking towards my parent's apartment. In fact, I was almost there. Without my being able to do anything to change things, my body suddenly started running over towards the highway. In a minute, I found myself standing by the side of the road, looking to my left as a big semi truck, pulling a trailer, was coming down the road towards me. It was coming very fast. I knew, with a certainty, that my body was going to leap out in front of that truck at the very last possible moment, when it was too late for the truck driver to avoid colliding with my body. Nothing changed. Nothing happened. I was still standing there, unable to control my own body. That truck was barreling towards me. In another few seconds it would be right in front of me. I stood there, on the side of the road and watched as the truck rolled by me. After it had passed, I sank down to my knees, gasping for my next breath. Every nerve ending I had in my body had been poised for the pain that I had watched coming towards me. It was not a good feeling. In fact, I had never been so terrified during the course of my whole other life. This was a change, but not one that I would have sought out on my own to experience. I'm glad that we have this new understanding, Jimmy. You can either go over to Carolyn's now, or you can go home and get a little rest, calm yourself down before heading over to see her. I got up and walked home. My strength was gone, drained from all of the energy that I'd expended when I'd thought that the voice was going to kill me. I was wrung out emotionally, and it manifested itself with my physical condition. I went into my room and curled up on my bed. My mother gave me a funny look when I walked in the door, but she didn't say anything to me. ------- Chapter 5 I managed to wake up in time to go out and help my mother set the table for dinner. My dad wasn't home yet, and I took some time to actually have a real conversation with my mother. It confused her, and made her wonder what had happened for me to suddenly want to know what she thought about things. We talked about the move out to California, and about how she felt about having my father always getting his way with things. "Jimmy, your father and I fight enough already, without me trying to tell him what to do. He's the man of the house, the breadwinner, it's only right that he makes most of the decisions." "Don't you think that it should be more of a partnership?" "It is a partnership Jimmy. Your father is just the senior partner, that's all." Ma laughed and went into the kitchen. I followed after her, really interested in whether she believed in what she was telling me. "In here, Jimmy, I'm the senior partner, and I make all of the decisions." "How about when pop wants you to make meat loaf, and you've got a chicken that you want to cook?" "That never happens Jimmy. I discuss what I'm planning on cooking for dinner with your father in advance. He might tell me that we haven't had meat loaf for awhile, but he'd never tell me that he wanted it tonight. He gives me his input, but I decide what we're going to be eating, not him." "Is the kitchen it? You don't get any say anywhere else?" She just smiled when I said that. "You need to pay closer attention to how things really work Jimmy. Someday you'll be married, and it would be good for you to know about how a marriage works." She sent me back out with the things that still needed setting on the table. She stayed in her kitchen and worked on the dinner. After dinner, my father turned on the television, and was watching the news and my mother was in the kitchen doing the dishes. "Jack, run down to Stopak's and get me some chocolate ice cream." "I'm watching the news. I'll get it later." "I want some now." "I'll leave when this story is finished, all right?" There was thirty seconds of silence. My father got up from his chair, put his shoes back on, and went out the front door. After he left, my mother came out and gave me a triumphant smile. "Did you pay attention to that, Jimmy?" "Sure, Ma. How did you get him to get up while the news was on?" "It's just like you said earlier, a partnership. Both sides need to pay attention to what the other side wants. Your father understands that." She never once mentioned or hinted that sex was tied up with my father's actions, and yet, I knew, just like my father had, that he better go get her that chocolate ice cream when she wanted him to, not when it was convenient for him to do it. I left soon after, to walk over to Carolyn's. I felt better about my mother than I had before we'd had our little talk. When I got to Carolyn's house, she came outside even before I had climbed up the stairs of her porch. "Jimmy and I are going for a walk mom. I'll be home before eleven." She took my hand and we walked back down the stairs, side by side. "I'm glad you didn't pay attention to what I said this morning, Jimmy. I was confusing myself because I thought that what you were doing was like what Ralph did to me. Today, I was sitting down, thinking about nothing really, and I just started to think about how differently the two of you had treated me. Ralph kept going when I asked him to stop. You stopped when I asked you to, and then you tried again, using a different way. I saw that you would have stopped if I'd asked you to. It is still a big difference though. I felt bad after I thought about that, and for telling you that I didn't want you to come over to see me anymore." "Well, I'm glad to find out that you didn't really mean it. I was just stopping by to make sure that you hadn't changed your mind. My mom told me that girls sometimes change their minds, and that I should check in with you every once in awhile, just to see if you had changed yours." "You talked about me with your mom?" "She asked me why I was looking so depressed, and I told her that you didn't want me coming over to see you any more. That's when she told me to wait awhile and try you again." "It made you depressed when I told you that I didn't want you to come over any more?" "Not depressed exactly. More like sad. I like hanging around with you." "I was sad too, Jimmy, right after you turned around and left. I almost yelled out to call you back, but it would have been embarrassing for me to do that. It's too bad it's so early, and so light out, else we could go over by the Bolling fence." "You want to go to the movies? There's a western with Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas playing. It starts at seven thirty. I'll ask my dad if he will let me borrow his car. We'd be back way before eleven." "You mean like a real date? I'd have to get permission first." "Let's go ask your parents first. If they say okay, we can go see if my dad will lend me his car. If he says no, we can still take the bus if we hurry." While I was talking about all of this, Carolyn had already turned around and was leading me quickly back to her house. When we got there, she told me to wait, and went inside by herself. In a minute, she came back out with her mother and motioned me to come up on the porch with them. "Mama, this is Jimmy Gordon. Jimmy, this is my mother, Gladys Coffee." We did the how do you do thing, and she asked me questions about whether I was a safe driver, and about whether I could be trusted to remember to bring Carolyn home before eleven o'clock. I never knew Carolyn's mother's married name before. Carolyn's last name was Adams, from her dead real father's name I guess. After we were done talking and nodding about understanding Carolyn's deadline time to be home, we hurried over to my house. I went inside with Carolyn, and introduced her to my parents. They were both eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream together. My mom offered us some, but we both refused. At first my dad refused to let me borrow his car, but my mother said something quietly to him that Carolyn and I couldn't hear. My father stood up then and handed me his key ring and asked me if I was all right for money. I think my mother might have told him that if I was over at the movies, they would have the apartment all to themselves, and guaranteed privacy for several hours. That's the only thing I could think of that would have made him change his mind so quickly. I thanked him for the loan of the car and promised to drive carefully. I leaned in and gave my mom a kiss on her cheek and whispered a sincere thank you for her help with persuading my dad. She just smiled at me and told the two of us to have a good time at the movie. We got to the movies on time, and I didn't have any trouble finding a parking space close by. 'Gunfight at the OK Corral' was the movie that we saw. I laughed when I noticed a young Dennis Hopper in the movie, and also, that guy who later played the doctor on Star Trek also had a part in the movie. We got out of the theater by ten o'clock, and we went over to Stopak's Market where we parked and just talked for half and hour. When I drove us over to her house, I got out of the car and walked her right up to her porch. I wound up giving her a pretty tame good night kiss. I had already told her in the car that I'd come over to see her the next morning. It had been a good date, even though we hadn't done anything more than hold hands in the movies, and also while we were parked and talking at the market. I got home and returned the car keys back to my father, thanking him again for letting me borrow his car. He told me to sit down, and then he had one of those birds and the bees talks with me. My mother was in her bedroom, and my dad was having a hard time coming to the point about how things were supposed to work between men and women. "The thing of it is, Jimmy, if you're going to be screwing, you should use a rubber." "That was our first date, pop." "Doesn't matter, Jimmy. Sometimes, it happens before you think it will. You should carry some with you all of the time, just in case. To be safe. It's for your own good too, in case the girl's been, uh friendly with some other guys. For diseases and all." "That makes good sense, pop. How many should I carry, two pocketfuls?" "Don't be too ambitious, Jimmy. I think two or three should be plenty. If you want, I'll pick you up some at the PX tomorrow." "I've got three already, pop, just in case. I'll let you know when I run out." "I'll get you a box tomorrow, and put them in your top drawer. Don't worry about your mother saying anything about them, she's the one who told me that we should have this conversation. She's the brains of this outfit, in case you haven't already guessed that." "I'm tired, pop, I think I'll turn in if you're finished with our talk?" "Yep, that's it, Jimmy. Be careful with the ladies. You might be better off to go out and find one that's smarter than you, and who will at least pretend that she doesn't think so." "Is that what you did, pop?" "Absolutely, Jimmy, absolutely." "Goodnight, pop." "Night, son." I laid in bed that night thinking about my day. It had been scary, realizing that the voice had such total control over me. It was still scary too. On the good news side, I was back hanging around with Carolyn who was definitely my first choice among the three girls that I'd been considering. On the bad news side, I now realized that my second chance wasn't going to be all that I had hoped it would be. My first life hadn't been either, but I'd somehow managed to get through it, if not all right, at least with a certain amount of satisfaction and happiness. I could make something better than the first time, even with the limitations that the voice had placed on me. I tried to concentrate on what I'd received compared to what I'd given up. Looking at it that way, I'd still come away with a lot better than I'd given up to get it. The voice wasn't asking me to give up anything I'd had in the first go around, just limiting the changes that I could make. I'm always here, Jimmy. What do you want? Not really, Jimmy. What do you have that I'd need? Let me think about it, Jimmy. You raise an interesting point. To tell you the truth, Jimmy, it wouldn't be without precedent. Things do come up that could use a little push from someone other than me. What kind of spare are you talking about? It can't be one that introduces a lot of change, Jimmy. She can't grow up and have three children, or anything like that. In fact, she has to be out of her living situation with her parents and siblings by December, with all of the same consequences that her death has. I didn't say that. There are ways that both of us can get what we want and need. If we did work something out, you'd have to assume full responsibility for her, and you'd have to stay within the guidelines that I give you. I don't promise you anything, Jimmy. You've raised an intriguing point when you brought up another possible trade. If I had someone like you back in 1943 or early 1944, I wouldn't be dealing with a whole other universe filled with Nazi's right now. To be honest with you, I can think of several large changes that I'd be willing to allow in the next few years, no matter how much extra work it would mean for me. I don't want to commit to anything right away, but I will think about your question. For right now though let me just say that it could be possible. Right up until about a tenth of a second before the truck passed by. I was angry, Jimmy. That is something you might always bear in mind about me. I do have a temper, and I've got my limits about a lot of things. You push me beyond those limits at your own peril. It would have created a big mess for me to clean up too, Jimmy. A lot of big messes really. It wasn't just that I'm a merciful entity, believe me. I'm not used to negotiating things, or with dealing with people who think I should have to negotiate. You should always keep that in the forefront of your mind, that just because I will do something, that doesn't mean that I must. See that you do. I fell asleep right away, after we finished our conversation. He hadn't said no, when I asked him about Carolyn, instead, he had admitted that he could do something if he chose to. In my whole prior time through, I don't think I ever directly impacted on anyone's life in any way that could be said to have saved them. Helping Carolyn would be a huge difference in this second chance that I'd been given. It would be worth a lot to me to be able to help her. ------- Chapter 6 I slept well again. When you are young, and your body is in the full bloom of health, you take it for granted that nothing hurts. To you, in your innocence, everything is expected to work without any soreness, aches, or pains. By the time you reach fifty or so, you know better, but, by then, it is too late. It was one of the great pleasures to me, in my return trip, that my body was operating like a well oiled machine. I got up out of bed and made myself ready to go out. My alarm clock said it was after eight. I had been doing a lot of sleeping since I'd returned, but it seemed like a necessary thing to me. Perhaps I had suffered from some kind of a time lag like you get when you travel through a lot of time zones and your system needs to get adjusted to the new time difference. Whatever it might have been, I woke up feeling better and stronger than I had since I'd come back. I made myself some toast and buttered it, putting on some sugar and cinnamon, and washed it all down with a glass of milk. I was just rinsing my glass out when my mom came into the kitchen. She asked me how my date had gone, and wanted to make sure that I had understood what my dad had been trying to tell me when I got back. "Jimmy, I'd like to think that we've raised you well enough that we don't have to worry about you taking advantage of girls. Some boys and men do that. You're growing up to be a good looking man, just like your father is. You will have a lot of chances to take advantage of women, if that is what you choose to do. You will be happier, in the long run, if you don't fall into the habit of taking advantage just because you can. Like marriage, relationships need to be a partnership too. I like Carolyn, Jimmy, I hope that you will treat her with respect." "Ma, it was just a date to see a movie, our first date. You're making me feel like you think I'm some kind of a creep or something. We only did a peck on the lips kiss afterwards, before she went in to her house." "Jimmy, don't treat me like I'm a dummy or something. I've spent eighteen years getting to know you, mister. I can read you better than anyone. I can see the signs that you're getting involved with this girl. I saw it yesterday when you came home looking like you'd lost your best friend. I don't need for you to tell me when you're really upset, your face tells me all that I need to know. I'm glad that you two were able to patch up whatever differences you had, Jimmy. I'm just telling you that things will go better for you if you treat women with care, and have respect for their feelings and for their beliefs." "Ma, that's funny. Yesterday, when I came home, I'd been with another girl, Sheila Barrows. I wasn't feeling well, so I just came home. We didn't have a fight or anything." "That may be, Jimmy. It doesn't matter. I can see that this Carolyn is special to you. She's the first girl that you've ever brought home for your father and I to meet. If you want things to work out with her, I'd suggest that you treat her nice." "I would have anyway, Ma, don't worry." "Worrying about you and your father is the biggest part of my job, Jimmy." She came closer and gave me a peck on the cheek and a hug. It struck me that I hadn't really understood or appreciated my mother like I should have the first time around. I had always had the impression that she wasn't a very happy woman, that she had resented being pushed into the background all of the time. Since I'd started observing her more closely this time around, I could see that she had definite ideas about her place in the family, and that she exerted much more control than I'd ever given her credit for doing. I left the apartment and walked over to Carolyn's house. When I got to her house, her brother and sister were both raising a big ruckus about something or other. I had noticed that neither of the little ones ever got taken outside to play. I mentioned that to Carolyn and she told me that it was just too hard to keep an eye on the two of them if they were outside and running free. I asked her if we could get them dressed and take them over to the playground, to see if that would calm them down. She wasn't too keen on the idea. I told her that most kids ran themselves right out of energy at a playground, and that they'd both run out of gas and go down for a long nap after an hour of running around. It was closer to three hours than one, but we talked while I pushed Brenda in the swing, or helped her brother, Paul to slide down the smaller slide.The two little ones ran all around the little playground, just happy to be out and able to run around in the sunlight. "You'd make a good father, Jimmy, you're really good with kids. Most guys don't make time to play with their kids. Paulie and Brenda really like you too." Carolyn spent so much time with the kids, I'm sure that she had a stronger bond with them than most older, half sisters would have. Her praise, even if it was exaggerated, made me feel pretty good. I had to carry Paulie back to her house, and he fell asleep in my arms. Brenda conked out right after Carolyn gave her her blanket and a bottle while she laid down on that green sofa. I thought she was kind of old for a bottle, but it sure did the trick. She didn't even finish a third of the bottle before she fell asleep. I carried her into the kid's bedroom and put her on her bed. "Well, now that the kids are both sleeping, what should we do?" "Maybe we should curl up here on the couch and take a little nap too." I leaned my body over until I was laying stretched out on the sofa with my back against the back cushions. Carolyn laid down next to me, her butt pressed back against my groin. I began by putting both of my arms around her, and slowly starting to kiss her neck. We went slowly, from innocent kisses, to passionate kisses. After a while, we were both hungry for more. At some point, she had turned over, and I was on top of her with my hard dick pushing and rubbing against her pubic region. She was wearing a dress that buttoned down the front, and the buttons on top were all opened and her bra was opened from the back and shoved up by her neck. Her exposed breasts were covered with my saliva. Both of us were turned on to a high degree. There was a lot of grunting, most of it from her, as I worked my fingers inside her and kept kissing and sucking her breasts. "We can do it, Jimmy, if you have a rubber. If you want to still." I stopped and looked at her. I wanted to make love to her, but I wanted her to want it too. "Carolyn, we don't have to unless you want to too." She lifted up her dress bottom and reached down and pulled her panties off while I balanced on one hand and lifted myself off her to allow her to take them off. After she had taken them off except for them hanging off of one ankle, I got back on her and just went back to kissing her some more. I worked my way down from her breasts and started kissing her pussy and thighs. She pulled my head into her, not wanting to be coy or shy now that she had made up her mind. I spent another few minutes licking her, and then I got back onto my knees, dropped my jeans and underwear down to my knees and got one of my rubbers out of my pants pocket. It was wrapped in some kind of weatherproof foil, and I had a hard time getting it off. I finally managed, and put the rubber on. I managed to get inside her and lasted only a very short time. Not long enough to do her any good, I'm sure. "Wait for a minute Carolyn. I can do a lot better than that." "You're too heavy, Jimmy. Can you get off of me for a minute? I have to go pee." I did get off, and I took the rubber and flushed it down the toilet before she used the bathroom. I was disappointed in my performance, and disappointed that Carolyn didn't want to wait for me to show her a better time. I was sitting on the sofa, when she came back out to the living room. She looked disappointed. "I can do a lot better than that Carolyn, I just need a few minutes to get it back together." "That's all right, Jimmy. I guess I'm just not very keen on doing it. The same thing used to happen with Ralph. I don't get very excited from doing it. I liked your mouth though. you can do some more of that if you want to." She seemed like she really wanted me to eat her more. I laid her down on the sofa and went to work. I gave her my best effort, and it seemed to work very well indeed. I had another hard on by the time I finished, and I stood up and put another rubber on, and then sat back down. I got her up so that she was straddling me, and slowly eased myself back into her. I started with both hands on her hips, lifting her and dropping her back down. After a minute, she was assisting me, lifting up and dropping down. I showed her how to grind herself against my pubic bone, and that did it. The more stimulation she got, the more she wanted. I was looking right into her eyes when she started to cum. It was glorious to behold. She seemed surprised, and so proud that she was able to cum from fucking. After she was done, she collapsed on my chest and I held her, kissing her neck and rubbing her back. After a minute, she lifted her head up and attacked my mouth with hers. She started moving around on top of me again, and my hard on, which had started to flag, even though I hadn't cum again, firmed right up. Soon, we were really going after it, and this time, we both came together. It was intense for me, one of the few times that I'd ever cum inside a woman that I had feelings for. I did have feelings for Carolyn, I just hadn't thought about it until I was cumming inside her. This time it was me that was attacking her lips, and squeezing her so hard that she had to ask me to ease up a little bit. She got off of me and the two of us went into the bathroom to clean ourselves up. "Jimmy, how come you didn't do it like that the first time? I almost didn't let you do it anymore after that first one. I'm glad I did though. I wish we could just go to sleep together right now, that's what I feel like doing. Where did you learn how to do it like that? I'm glad Ralph didn't know how to do it that way, I'd have gotten pregnant for sure." She just went on and on, a happy kind of chatter that she really didn't expect me to answer right away. Finally she slowed down, and then stopped talking. "I'm glad that you liked it Carolyn. I liked it at least as much as you did. I told you that I could do it better than the first time. I was excited and came too quick." "I'll say. It wasn't even half a minute. Ralph did it on my leg once, before he even put it in me. Speaking of my cousin, Ralph, my mother told me this morning that Ralph is coming up for a visit again next month, for a whole month. How am I supposed to keep him off of me? I don't want to tell my mother about what he did to me the last time. If he tries to do those same things with me again, I don't know what should I do." The casual way that she was telling me about Ralph's pending visit was eerie. She didn't sound worried or upset, just kind of matter of fact about it. I almost got the feeling that she was trying to see what my reaction was going to be. "Other than the sex, how do you and Ralph get along Carolyn? You seem to have mixed feelings about him. At least, that's how it seems to me." "We get along great. He's fun to talk to. It's only that he won't take no for an answer about doing it to me. When he gets his pecker up, he just stops listening to me." "Is it mostly just the fear of getting pregnant that bothers you? Do you want to fool around with him?" "I don't know. We always got along fine until he kept putting his pecker in me. He never licked me like you did, and he never showed me how to do it like we just did. I guess I liked all of the attention though, especially on my boobs. Ralph loved to play with my boobies. If he'd just been satisfied with a blow job instead of doing it to me, I wouldn't have been so upset." Inside my head, I felt numb. While it was still early in our relationship, I hadn't figured that I'd be in competition with Cousin Ralph. Until a few minutes before, I'd thought that Ralph had been almost a rapist with her, forcing himself on her when she would have preferred that he didn't. It sure didn't sound that way to me now. I didn't know what to say to her. I was dumbfounded by her admission. I was jealous too. For the first time since I'd returned, I really felt like an eighteen year old. "You need to make your own decision on this one Carolyn. I can't really help you. You weren't expecting me to say it will be okay with me if you fuck Cousin Ralph while he's visiting? That's never going to happen." "Jimmy! That isn't what I was saying. I was just letting you know that Ralph was coming. It doesn't seem fair to me though, that you're going off to California in a couple of months, and you want me to drop everything else just to be with you until you leave. Ralph is part of my family. I wish that he wasn't visiting this summer, but he is. I can't ask him not to come. I haven't given much thought to what I'll do when Ralph does come, but I'll let you know when I make a decision. Don't be acting like you own me though, because I don't like that." "I think that I better just leave before I end up saying something that I'll regret later Carolyn. I don't think that I own you. In fact, I'm starting to realize that I don't even know you. I guess that you and I are just keeping each other company until something better, and more permanent, comes along. I think I can live with that as long as I understand that that is all we're ever going to mean to each other." "You don't have to take it that way, Jimmy. I haven't decided anything about Ralph yet. He won't even be here for a month anyway. We could have a different understanding by then. I really do like you, Jimmy. I like doing it with you too. Are you going to come by to take me for a walk tonight? We could go down by the fence after dark. You act like you wanted me to lie to you about Ralph, Jimmy. I'm just being honest with you." "I'll think about things Carolyn, that's all that I can promise you. If I decide to come over, after I have thought about everything, then I will. You can change your mind about going for a walk then if you want to too." "Nothing's changed, Jimmy, not really. I still like you. Ralph isn't here. There's no reason why he should come between us when he isn't even within two hundred miles of us right now." "He's closer than that, Carolyn. He's in my head, and he's in yours too." "Suit yourself then, Jimmy. You can make this a lot bigger thing than it needs to be. I don't want to be around you if you're just going to be sulking like a little baby who didn't get his way. I already have to take care of two little babies, I don't need another one." "You're probably right. I really enjoyed what we did today. It isn't like I have so many girls that will invite me in and let me fuck them when I want to." "Well, however many you did have, you now have one less. Good bye, Jimmy. I'm sorry that it had to turn out like this. I suppose now that I'll be hearing all over the neighborhood about what we've been doing?" "Not from me you won't. Good bye Carolyn." I walked out the front screen door and down the steps off of her porch. Half of me was mad at her for what she'd said. The other half was mad at me for not stopping before I'd said enough for it to come to this. I was eighteen again, and too full of testosterone and hormones to be able to modify or curtail my words even to protect a good thing. I was almost in love with her. In any event, I cared for her too much to be able to swallow the uncertainty that she was displaying about Ralph, and any future relationship that the two of them might have. As bad as it seemed, the energy of having someone who could get me so worked up was worth it. In my prior existence, I hadn't gotten worked up over a woman very often. In fact, what I had just had with Carolyn was the deepest, most meaningful relationship I'd ever experienced. That was pretty sad in itself, but still, a cause for hope from me. I was at least expanding on the life that I'd already led, and I was only eighteen years old. Forgetting about my emotional attachment to Carolyn, I had just given up a sexual relationship that had been new, and very powerful. I needed to think about that too. I wondered about how big a box of rubbers my dad was going to buy for me. I went down to Stopak's Market, and asked Mr. Stopak if he needed any part time help at the store. Not surprisingly, he did, just like the last time, and I spent the rest of the day learning what he wanted me to know about the cash register and cleaning up the store. I picked up things a lot faster this time, probably because I'd done it all once before. I had made about twenty dollars a week, the last time, for a month before he had fired me. I also remembered, while he was training me, how much I'd been able to flirt with girls, and some married women too, when I worked there before. It is amazing, the things that you forget as you get older. I got off at five, and told Mr. Stopak that I'd come in to work at two PM the next day. My father was happy to find out that I had a job at Stopak's. Now, my mother would give me the list of things that she needed from the store and I could get it for her and bring it home. My mother wondered what had happened to my plan to take it easy and relax this summer. She even asked me whether Carolyn and I had had some kind of a misunderstanding. I told her there were no misunderstandings. I didn't go over to Carolyn's that night or the next morning either. I went over to Stopak's early, and he put me to work washing and waxing his delivery van. It looked like a hearse, and he almost never made any deliveries in it. He used it sometimes to go into the city, and pick up things that he had run out of. He never let me drive it, or anyone else that I ever saw. I did a good job, waxing it where he had it parked, in the shade. Sheila came by, and we talked for a little while as I waxed and polished the van. She practically promised to give me some pussy if I came over to her house the next morning. I told her that I didn't think that I could do that. When she asked why not, I told her that I was seeing someone else. "Who is it?" "I'd rather not say Sheila. She doesn't like other people knowing her business." "I bet it's Carolyn Adams, Jimmy. I wondered who was going to get her after Jimmy Herndon broke up with her. Is that who it is, Carolyn?" "I told you Sheila, I'm not saying. If things change though, I'll be knocking at your front door." "And I'll be letting you in too, and not just my front door. I liked you better though when you had hair. It's still cute this way too though. I'll be waiting for your knock, Jimmy." She sauntered away, showing off her ass as she walked. That was her best feature, and she realized that. Don't start up with me about that again. I was going to say more to the voice, trying to find out why it was singling out certain people as off limits to me, when Mr. Stopak called me inside to give Mrs. Denton a hand walking home with her groceries. Mrs. Denton's husband was off on an extended TDY assignment. Temporary duty assignment. He was in Alaska or someplace like that, and had been gone for about six months. Mrs. Denton was about thirty years old and she was a well set up woman. My mother, and a few of the other neighborhood ladies, were concerned because Mrs. Denton sometimes went over to the Chief's Club and had a few drinks on her own. There was a concern that she was, perhaps, trying to find herself a temporary substitute in her husband's absence. I remembered all of this from my last time through. Nothing had happened between her and I, although I had carried her groceries and run over several deliveries to her in the month that I'd worked at the market. "When did you start working at the market, Jimmy?" She was walking ahead of me, and her ass was encased in a tight skirt that exaggerated the swing of her hips. Her body was plush, a little bit bigger than it should have been, but all over, equally. I thought she looked very sexy. "I started yesterday, Mrs. Denton. It's just for the summer. We're getting transferred to California at the end of August." "How many times do I have to tell you to call me Millie? It makes me feel old when you call me Mrs. Denton. I'm already feeling old enough without that. Where did you get transferred to? California's a big state." "My dad is going to a destroyer tender based out of Long Beach." "I liked it in San Diego when Darren and I were stationed there. There was a lot more to do there than there is here. People weren't always paying so much attention to what other people were doing there. You had more freedom. I wish we were still there." Not a problem, as long as you don't spend too much time with her and make the neighbors talk. "Tell me Millie, what would you like to do if you didn't have the curious neighbors that we have here?" "Jimmy, are you flirting with me?" She turned and gave me a big smile, but there was a question to her smile too. "I was just curious, that's all. I figured it must be hard to find things that you can do all by yourself. At least until Chief Denton gets back." "I think you are flirting with me, Jimmy. I find that very flattering, and a little bit exciting too. It certainly helps me to feel younger, I'll tell you that. Do you have a girlfriend, Jimmy?" "I did have, but we broke it off when we had a fight." "Oh, I'm sorry. What did you two fight about? If you don't mind me asking?" "It's kind of personal, Millie. It had to do with being faithful though." "Now I am intrigued, Jimmy. Who was supposed to be faithful, you or her?" "Her." "And she wasn't?" "No." "Were you faithful to her?" "Sure." "Not all men are, Jimmy. You'd be surprised. Most guys will stick it into any girl that will let them. My Darren is like that too. You know what I do? I get back at him the same way. A girl likes to have fun too. It doesn't have to mean any more than that, a little fun. Well, we're here already. Why don't you come inside and put the groceries on the table for me, Jimmy?" I put the two bags of groceries down on her little table that was in the kitchen area. There were only two small chairs that went with it. They must not get much company. "Thank you, Jimmy. Why don't you come back later tonight, after it's all dark outside? We can finish our discussion then." "I'll try to make it Millie. When is the Chief expected back?" "Not for at least three more months. We can talk about that too, Jimmy. About how long he's been gone, and about what I miss the most. You try to make it over if you can." She was putting the things in the bag away, and I just let myself out the door. That was interesting. I wondered if she had been so blatant about things like that in my life before. I sure didn't remember it that way. I walked back to the store, and worked until around seven that night. Mr. Stopak wasn't feeling that good, and asked me to stay around longer. He was in the back, resting, when Kenny Kitchens came in and asked me to sell him some beer. I refused, telling him that I didn't want to lose my job. Sell him the beer, Jimmy. That's what you did the last time. Jimmy, sell him the beer. It's important. So, I sold him the beer. It was only four cans anyway. I didn't see why it was so important. What could four beers do? Don't make it a big deal every time I tell you to do something. You have no idea how irritating that is to me. That beer is important because it makes possible a long chain of events that happened in this time line before. It is mostly important though, because I say it is. I won't ask you to do or not do anything unless it was important. You should just accept that. The meeting at Millie's house tonight, it isn't important. You can go or not go, it doesn't matter. It hasn't happened before, in your previous trip through. I just know that it wouldn't have any far reaching consequence if you did go there tonight. If you're asking for my opinion though, I'd say it was almost a certainty that you would. You want to know something else that's funny? She's after you because she already did your father. She wants to have had sex with the both of you. I could tell you a lot of things that you never knew or guessed the last time through. Maybe this is a change that needed to take place for you to act in a certain way at sometime in the future. Don't try to second guess me, Jimmy. You don't have access to the information that I do. Maybe that is exactly what I wanted. Not to change the subject, but, have you decided against trying to get me to intervene in Carolyn's favor? If you and she aren't going to be together, I just wondered if you'd still want me to do something? Jimmy, what you're asking isn't just a small favor. It would require a lot of effort from me, both now, and in the future. If I go to all of that work, I would need you to do something important enough to make it worth all of my trouble. I haven't really decided on that yet. Right now I'm just seeing if you and I can agree on the basic parameters of the deal. I wouldn't want to go to all of the trouble to come up with a way to save Carolyn, and then have you tell me that what I want in return was too much for you to handle. Let's both think about it. If I think I have something that I might want you to do, I'll let you know. Don't worry about it. Carolyn still has until December tenth anyway. Things could change a lot before then. I went into the market and started sweeping up the floor. There were always things to do in the market, and I knew that Mr. Stopak liked to see me doing things without him having to point them out or get me started doing them. As I worked, I thought about my conversations with the voice. There wasn't any doubt in my mind that he already had some kind of plan for me, and was just setting me up to make sure that I did what he wanted done. I felt like I had just fallen right into his trap. I still hadn't gotten to the point where I wanted to explore the nature of the voice. That it was powerful, that went without saying. Was it good or evil. My religious beliefs were very lax, almost nonexistent in fact. Was this a deity, and angel, a devil, the devil's minion? Oh please, Jimmy. Now you're starting to worry me. A deity? the devil's minion? Why can't I be something simple like a caretaker that has been put in charge of a few simple universes? Why make things needlessly complex? Perhaps I'm nothing more than an artificial intelligence that has been programmed to maintain a semblance of order? I could make something up too, but I won't do that either. All you need to know is that I am. You are where you are, able to do what you are doing, because I am. I'm having some amusement with you right now, but I have no sinister ulterior motives. This little moment that we've just shared together has amused me. I feel like giving you something for it, as a reward. I'll let you choose between two different choices. The first choice is that I get Carolyn to forgive you, and then let you back into her life. The second choice is that Carolyn doesn't forgive you, but I'll keep Ralph away from her for this entire summer. You once again have misconstrued what I've said. You are getting a reward. I've told you of your two choices, either pick one, or I'll pick one for you. All right. Continue being difficult then. I'll leave things just as they were. Just don't come to me, begging for any favors because you aren't going to get them. We could have a lot better time with this if you didn't insist on being so difficult. Don't try to contact me for at least a week, Jimmy. I'm tuning you out as of right now. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. ------- Chapter 7 True to it's word, the voice had left me. At first, I thought it was just being silent, but later, that night, I thought that I could sense it's absence from my head. I felt alone. In some ways, that feeling was a relief, but, in other ways, I felt more vulnerable. What if I did something different that it really didn't like, and it just snuffed me out without any warning? It wasn't a very good feeling, but there was nothing that I could do about it. I went to work on Saturday, early again, and Mr. Stopak said he wasn't feeling well and needed to go somewhere. He asked me to close up the store at six that evening if he hadn't returned. This hadn't happened in my first time through, and it really worried me. I spent the whole day, nervous as a cat, trying to take care of cleaning the market and tending to the register and people's questions too. There were boxes of new products to be priced and put up on the shelf, but Mr. Stopak hadn't given me the prices to put on anything. Mr. Stopak returned at five forty five, but his face was all gray and faded looking. I'd seen people get like that when they had a heart condition or when their lungs weren't pumping enough oxygen to their hearts. He didn't look good. I told him about not being able to find the prices for the product, but he told me not to worry about it. He even thanked me for doing as well as I had done. That never happened the last time I worked for him either. "Jim, can you come in and open up at seven on Monday morning? I have an appointment that I need to keep. You can keep the keys that I gave you, use them to open up on Monday. I should be back in the early afternoon, or else I'll phone you." "Sure Mr. Stopak, I'll be here. What about deliveries and things like that?" While Mr. Stopak had been gone, the bread guy had come in and I'd paid him out of the till, and put the receipt under the drawer in the register. I'd showed him what I had done, and he had nodded that it was okay. "Look, Jim, I'm not feeling too good. Do the best that you can. If something comes up that you can't handle, tell them to come back when I'm here. I'm not expecting any big deliveries Monday." I told him that I'd do my best. The next Monday, Carolyn came in with little Paulie and Brenda, and bought some bread and a dozen eggs. She seemed surprised to find me working at the market. She said hello, but it seemed strained, and it was uncomfortable for both of us. Her brother and sister were delighted to see me however, and Brenda asked me if we were going back to the playground again. I watched them leave, and wished, once again, that I hadn't pushed things like I had. The way that things had turned out, I hadn't gained anything by the stand that I had taken. I was busy in the store all day, and when Mr. Stopak didn't come back or call me, I closed up and locked everything at six and went home. The next morning I went and opened up by six forty five, and, when Mr. Stopak came in at seven, everything was ready for business. He apologized for not calling me, but said that he wasn't able to get to a phone. He thanked me again for taking care of things for him. His color wasn't any better, and it was far worse than I remembered it being my first time through. He was an old man, maybe mid to late sixties, but in the last few days, he had started looking much older. Whatever was bothering him, it looked pretty serious. He didn't volunteer what the problem was, and I didn't ask him. He kept me working all day, and he spent most of his time in the back, taking it easy. With him in the store, I got everything priced and put up on the shelves. Because it was between paydays for military people, our business wasn't that good. Usually it was people buying milk, eggs or bread. Sometimes a bag of potatoes or some rice or canned vegetables. Things to fill out a meal rather than a full list of groceries. At five thirty, Carolyn came into the market by herself and started wandering around looking at things on the shelves. She didn't pick anything up to purchase, just walked around looking for the half hour before closing. At five til six, Mr. Stopak came out from the back and asked me if I could close up for him. He went into the register and took out most of the large bills and stuffed them into his front pocket. He asked me to come in again and open up for him, because he might be late himself. When he left, I turned off the lights and went out and started getting the doors ready for locking. Carolyn had left the store when Mr. Stopak had come up to the counter, but she was waiting for me outside. "Jimmy, can I talk to you?" She asked it like she really expected me to tell her no. "Sure. There's no reason why we can't talk to each other Carolyn. I'm not mad at you or anything." "You aren't? It sure seemed like you were." "I was upset, that's all. It just shocked me that you had a different relationship with Ralph than I'd thought." "I told you before that he and I did it, Jimmy." "I know you did, Carolyn. It's just that you made it sound like he kind of forced you to do it with him." "He did. You mean that you were surprised that I didn't mind any of the other things that we did? I thought that you understood that, Jimmy. I didn't try to hide that I liked the other stuff that we did. It was only him putting it in me that I did mind." "Well guess I just misunderstood you then. I don't see that it makes that much of a difference in this case, because my problem isn't with what happened in the past. It's about what you're planning on doing for the future." "I told you that I wasn't even sure my self what I'd do. I'm thinking about what I should do. He isn't even coming until next month. By then, I'll know what I'm going to do." "Yes, and that's the problem that I'm having. You still have to think about what you want to do." "You never said what it is that you think I should do. You're disappointed that I don't have it all figured out, but it isn't just as simple as you seem to think it is. Ralph is family, and it was two years ago that it happened. He's older now, and I'm older too. I can stand up to him better now, and keep him in line. I didn't think that he and I would just jump back like we were two summers ago. I planned on telling him that I didn't want to do anything like we did before." "That sure isn't what you said before, Carolyn." "I know it isn't. I didn't say it right before. What I meant was that I like doing things with you, and I didn't know how to talk to Ralph to let him know that I didn't want to do things with him any more." I wanted to believe her. That isn't what she had said before. Mostly, it was the way that she had been talking, almost like it was inevitable that she and Ralph would fool around, but that she hoped to keep him from getting her pregnant. She didn't seem that concerned, at least not to me, about anything but him screwing her, and getting her pregnant. One thing was very clear to me though, and that was that she didn't want it to be over between she and I. I knew that I wanted to explore our relationship, or whatever it was, further too. I could just accept her position, what she was saying now, at face value, and continue with her, or else I could continue talking with her, and try to get her pinned down on all of the possibilities that might occur during Ralph's visit. I was jealous, but, perhaps, it was a little bit premature for me to be thinking that she was being unfaithful. Maybe she really hadn't come to a decision about how to tell Ralph to leave her alone. She said that that was what she was trying to decide, not how much to fool around with him when he came. My brain, my heart and my dick were all at odds with each other. Staying away from her would only appease my brain. Getting back with her would help my heart and my dick right away, and possibly, later on, my brain. My choice seemed clear cut. "I'm sorry that I misunderstood you Carolyn. I thought that you were saying that you were wanting to do things with Ralph too." "I have to get back home for supper, Jimmy. Will you come over later so that we can go for a walk? Let's just pretend that Ralph isn't going to visit, for now at least." I noticed that she didn't answer my unspoken question and try to reassure me about her and Ralph, and her not wanting to do things with him. "I'll be over after eight thirty Carolyn. We can take a walk and talk some more." We were close by her house when we finished our little talk, and I watched her as she hurried back inside. I had shown more flexibility with Carolyn than I'd ever shown at any time in my past life with anyone. Part of this was due to the fact that I still thought like a mature man who was being offered access to a young and firm body without too many strings being attached. Another part of it was that I sincerely wanted to develop a real relationship with a woman. Most of it was me wanting to get more sex from Carolyn, while the getting was good. Both of my parents were pleased with how many hours of work I was getting. I told them that I thought it was just a temporary thing until Mr. Stopak was feeling better. I ate my dinner with pleasure, surprising my parents by expressing opinions on the topics they were discussing as dinner conversation. In my other time through, I seldom participated in these conversations, usually just eating and bolting from the table right after finishing. When we were done with eating and talking, I told my mom to go relax in the living room and I'd do the dishes for her. She was both pleased and shocked by my offer, which she readily accepted. It only took me fifteen minutes to clear and clean the dining room table and to wash, dry and put away the dishes, glasses and pans. My mom treated it like I'd single handedly added on a room to a house or something. I made a note to myself to offer to do things like that more often in the future. I went in and took a shower, brushed my teeth and shaved before heading over to Carolyn's house. I put on clean jeans and one of my nicer shirts too. She was sitting on her porch waiting for me when I got there. She told her mom that we were leaving, and came over to me and took my hand, acting like we hadn't had a big fight the time that I was here before. She obviously wanted things to go right back to where they'd been before we argued. I was willing to do it that way too. "You want to go over to the fence? It's almost getting dark out." "We could do that, or we could walk up to the Rexall's and get a Coke or something. Whatever you want to do." "I'd like to go to the fence then. It's more private, and we can talk easier there." Carolyn squeezed my hand with hers as she led me over to the fence by the air base. We didn't talk about much, staying with safe topics like her sister asking her over and over when I was going to take her to the swings again. By the time we rounded the corner of the fence and walked back fifty feet or so, it was dark enough for privacy. I had three rubbers in my pocket, just in case. My father had bought a package of twenty four rubbers for me, and I had snagged a couple of them out of the box. I was sure that my mother would be checking the contents of the box regularly, but, I was okay with that. "Did you at least miss me a little?" Carolyn had come into my arms and pressed herself against me. Her breasts were squashed against my stomach or lower chest. "I thought about you a lot. I was trying to think of some way that I could see you again to maybe see if we could straighten things out." I kissed her, and she responded to me hungrily, burying her tongue inside my mouth before I had the chance to do the same to her. We stayed like that, kissing and running our hands over each others bodies for a good ten minutes. "Do you have any rubbers, Jimmy?" I nodded that I did. "I want to do it like we did the last time. I've been thinking about that a lot, ever since we did it the last time. Can we do it that way?" I looked around by the fence, but there wasn't anything that I could use to sit on. A little further down towards the river, there was a tree that had either fallen or been chopped down. I took her hand and walked over to it. When we got there, I saw a large boulder that had a top that I thought I could sit down on okay. I went over to it and sat down and wiggled around to make sure that it was stable. I stood up and looked all around to make sure that we were all alone where we were. I didn't see anyone, so I pulled my jeans down and rolled one of the new rubbers on. It fit tighter than the ones that I'd bought at the Chief's Club. Once it was on and felt comfortable, I sat back down on the boulder and let Carolyn sit straddling me. She still had her panties on, under the skirt that she wore. For the next ten minutes, I did as much as I could to get her ready for me. I didn't want to just assume that she was already hot enough for me to do it, although it did appear that she was already primed for making love. I managed to get her back up on her feet, and took her panties off, licking her wet pussy for just a little while. I had planned on only doing a few swipes at licking her, because I was really ready to make love to her. She liked being eaten while standing up, and threw one of her legs over my shoulder while holding my head for balance. I don't think she would have allowed me to quit, even if I'd tried to. By the time we had finished with me performing oral sex, she had spread her juices from ear to ear and even on my forehead. She was very active as my tongue brought her immense pleasure. She stopped me when her legs were too weak to hold her up anymore. I had her straddle me again and worked my dick fully up inside her. I let her rest a little as I kissed her face and neck, playing with, squeezing and nibbling on both of her breasts repeatedly. She really enjoyed having her titties played with. There was nothing that she didn't seem to like when it came to my playing with them. I got her started on moving up and down on my dick, but she took over the movement herself, almost immediately. I had already cum into the rubber after a minute, but the friction that she was creating had kept my dick at least semi hard. It didn't fall out at least. She kept grinding herself down on my pubic bone, moving in small circles and kissing me all of the time. I felt her orgasm as it neared, and, watched her face as it swept through her. It wasn't as strong as she had hoped for, I think, because she had that look that I'd seen the first time that we had made love. I started lifting and dropping her hips again, fearful that I'd lose my erection if she didn't stimulate me some more. She seemed to resist me at first, but then, she got a different look on her face when she first started to recognize the build up that announced that another orgasm was ready to follow on her previous, smaller, one. We didn't quite cum together, but her histrionics and gyrations, as she had a powerful contraction that squeezed my dick mightily, set me off in a very big way. I tried to get as much of me inside her as I possibly could. She milked my dick as she had a series of contractions that were like many, tiny, full body shudders. I could easily tell that she hadn't been at all disappointed with the strength of that last orgasm. "Jimmy, that was the best one of all. I was afraid that it wouldn't be, but it just kept building and building until it scared me and I thought I was going to scream. I'm all wrung out like a dish rag. I don't think I can walk home. You need to go get us a wheel barrow and ride me back to my house." "I'd do it, but I'm afraid your parents would get suspicious if I brought you home that way." "Well, just sit here and hold me then, until I have enough strength to get up off of you. I'm glad that you came over tonight, Jimmy, really glad. I hope we don't ever fight again." Carolyn kissed me, actually she kissed all over my face, and licked as much of her juices off of me as she could. "You like the taste of pussy too?" "Don't say that! Just mine, and only because it's on you. I love having you lick me, Jimmy. I can't tell you what it does to me when you do that. I couldn't tell you no about anything after you did that to me." "I really like you a lot Carolyn. I want you to like the things that we do together." "I do, Jimmy. Nobody has ever come near to making me feel so good as you do. Even I can't make it as good as that for myself." We sat there for another hour, until both of my legs were asleep and I felt my back protesting. We talked and we kissed and I toyed with her breasts absently, not to stimulate, just to reassure myself that they were there for me to savor and enjoy. We didn't do any planning for future meetings because I told her that I wouldn't know how much I was going to be working until I found out from Mr. Stopak. We finally roused ourselves enough to get up and put ourselves back together. I had to stretch out and walk around to get the tingling out of my legs and ankles. It was after ten thirty when we started to head back to Carolyn's house. The next morning, Mr. Stopak's son, Ron, came to the store at about ten o'clock to tell me that his father had died the night before, and to close the store down. I gave him the keys that Mr. Stopak had given me, and showed him my time card that Mr. Stopak had me keeping. He paid me the gross amount for my hours and gave me an extra twenty dollars as a severance bonus or something. He said that he'd try to sell the remaining time on Mr. Stopak's lease with the government, and that he'd give me a good recommendation to the new people who'd be taking over. I was confused, the last time around, Mr. Stopak had been alive at least as late as sometime in 1958, because I had been in the market with a friend then, and I'd seen him with my own eyes. Something was happening here that hadn't happened my first time through. I wondered whether the absence of the voice had made everything get out of control. If it had, there was no certainty that anything would be the same as it had been my last time through. That thought didn't make me feel good. I remembered what the voice had said about the alternate universe that was created after Hitler nuked London in 1944. Was I now in another alternate universe? If I was, would that be a good thing, or not?" ------- Chapter 8 It was the following Friday before I finally heard from the voice again. I was still worried about whether Mr. Stopak's death signaled a huge change in things. I had also started worrying that the voice might blame me for causing it in some way. I had made good use of my time off from the Market, spending most of everyday with Carolyn and her brother and sister. Every morning we'd take the little kids to the playground and let them run themselves completely out of energy. Once we got them back home for their naps, Carolyn and I had at least two hours of quiet and privacy to make love, and cement our budding relationship. I usually took her somewhere in the evenings, out to dinner, or to the movies. Twice we had gone back to the Bolling Field fence to make love again. By now, Carolyn was the one who took control, and made sure that I did exactly what she wanted me to. I had spent more time eating her pussy than I had eating pussy the whole time of my first life. She absolutely loved having that done to her. She had even gotten to the point where she was able to give me a decent blow job while I ate her out on the sofa. Jimmy, get up and get dressed and leave right now. It was the voice. On the whole, I was relieved to hear it again. I was in the middle of a very nice sixty nine with Carolyn. Both of us were near cumming. I stopped what I was doing. Her stepfather is going to be there in less than ten minutes. Suit yourself then, but this is going to cause a big change, and you aren't going to like the consequences. I got up and dressed in a hurry. "Get dressed Carolyn. Your stepfather is coming." "No he isn't, Jimmy. He never comes home before five o'clock. How would you know if he was anyway?" "Carolyn, I'm leaving. I can't tell you how I know, but he'll be here in a few minutes. I'll come back to see you tonight." I went to the screen door, unlocked it, went outside, and started walking towards home. I never looked back, not even once. I trusted the voice on this one. Minor glitch only. You'll find small anomalies like that in any large program, Jimmy. There are a lot of variables, and many possible outcomes. Mr. Stopak didn't get the right doctor assigned to him this time when he went in complaining of shortness of breath and dizziness. The doctor he got this time was more concerned with why his stock holdings in Studebaker keep dropping. Bad luck for Mr. Stopak, he could have lived another three years with the right kind of medical care. No, not any of the important stuff. All of that is choreographed to a fine point. Only the insignificant things are left somewhat to chance. No, to them it was terribly important. It was insignificant though to the fabric of this time line. You might be. I haven't really made up my mind yet. Until I do, I'm looking out for you. Carolyn's insignificant to the time line, but her stepfather isn't. If he had caught the two of you, it would have been difficult, perhaps very difficult, for me to repair the damage. I was here. It just never came up that I needed to fix anything. You seem to think that I have my finger in everything. That isn't the case at all. If it was, I'd never get anything done. Speaking of getting things done, I hope you appreciate me getting Carolyn to forgive you. Who do you think sent her to the market in the first place? Who kept sending her mind back to remembering how nice it felt when you made love to her? These things don't work out so easily without help from somewhere. I could tell that you wanted to get back together with her. That's okay though, I don't expect thanks from you. Anybody else, yes, but not from you. Really, Jimmy? I'm not too sure that I believe that. Up until now, you haven't seemed to appreciate anything that I've done for you. When I took your pain away before, that's the last time I remember getting a thank you from you. You never did! You told me later that you were glad I didn't kill you, but that isn't the same as saying thank you. That didn't sound very sincere. Besides, it doesn't mean anything if you get thanked after you had to ask for it. Then you'd be dead right now, Jimmy. Is that what you want? It wouldn't take much for me to turn your wish into reality for you. I would like you a lot better if you tried to make the best of what is possible, instead of always lamenting what can never be. This is a very good deal for you, Jimmy. Better than any deal I've ever given, or that I am likely to give to anyone else. Your dissatisfaction, considering how I've bent over backwards for you, is getting to be a major irritant to me. If you get too dissatisfied, Jimmy, you can sulk and whine. If I get too dissatisfied, on the other hand, we both know what can happen. It would still stop your incessant complaining though, wouldn't it? So, now I'm a tyrant? Why don't we just take a minute to review what has taken place in our relationship so far, shall we? You were dying, and painfully so, and you were reaching out, desperately looking for some small glimmer of hope for some type of a reprieve from your fate. I responded to your pathetic call for help, and gave you much more than what you were asking for. Instead of being grateful, as any normal person would be, you attempt, almost immediately to improve on our original deal. Is this a fair characterization of what has happened so far? If so, where is the tyrant? If not, where have I erred in reconstructing what actually occurred? I've modified things quite a bit since then, Jimmy. I'm allowing some differences, and giving you a chance to better things from your first go around. I've been providing you with my good offices to show you the path that allows you the most opportunity for change without destroying the fabric of this time line. Instead of reaching out and enjoying these improvements that I've provided, you continue to try to wheedle and cajole more and more concessions from me. Concessions that you believe are your entitlements. We can get along, Jimmy, but not unless you work with me to make the best of a situation that will be less than both of us had hoped and expected. The way I've seen it so far, is that I'm giving concessions, and you are continually asking for more, without giving up any of your original demands or expectations. I cannot deliver all of the promises that you thought I was making. I am delivering far more than the promise that I did make. How am I responsible for the fact that you misinterpreted what I was offering? Didn't you have a responsibility, yourself, to clarify exactly what was on offer before agreeing to accept it? Had you asked the right questions beforehand, I feel confident that you would have agreed to accept what was actually on offer. You hear what you want to hear. You cannot expect me to be bound by your mistaken expectations. I want you to think back to how you were feeling when I first contacted you. At that time, with all the pain that you were feeling, with your complete and utter lack of hope, wouldn't the deal that I'm now ready to provide to you, have been more than sufficient inducement for you to readily accept it? Did you find the past week enjoyable Jimmy? The uncertainty of not knowing whether you were doing something that might cause a disaster, or an irreparable rent in this time line? You need me to keep you from making a mistake that could really cause great harm to literally millions of people. Do you really want to take a chance of that happening, if you don't have to? Silence. Silence. Silence. Two days later, Carolyn and I were caught making love on the sofa by her stepfather and her mother. They had gotten suspicious because of the smells that we had left lingering in the living room. That first day that Sgt. Coffee had come home early, even though he came in and found Carolyn sitting alone in the living room, he'd smelled the scent of sex in the air. The day they caught us, I wound up getting my butt kicked by Sgt. Coffee, and Carolyn was forbidden to spend any more time in my company. While my behavior didn't exactly shock my parents, my mother was disappointed that I had been caught doing something like that with two small children present in the house. I found out that Carolyn was being sent down to live with her Aunt in Norfolk, Virginia, Cousin Ralph's mother, and that Carolyn's mother was going to be quitting her job to take care of the two youngest children. My actions were causing a lot of repercussions all around me, none of them positive. I'll take you back to the morning that you were caught, early enough so that you can prevent ever being caught. I'll stay with you from now on, giving you as much free rein in this lifetime as I can, but you have to listen to me when I tell you not to do something. I found myself sitting on the sofa, back in time to the point where Carolyn was still in the bedroom, putting Brenda and Paulie down for their naps. Everything was just like it had been the morning that we'd gotten caught. When she came back out to the living room, I told her that I had a premonition that I should leave, but that I'd come by to see her after five that night, and we'd go out and do something together. When her parents surprised her later, Carolyn was curled up on the sofa, reading through the new Life magazine. Carolyn was full of questions later that afternoon, continually asking me about how I'd known that we shouldn't do anything together. I told her that I sometimes got strong hunches, and that I'd found it far better to act on them than it was to ignore them, only to find out later that I shouldn't have. With the voice back in my head full time, I could now afford to admit to myself that I felt better able to navigate through this second life that he'd given me. I would just have to learn to accept that the price of not having total freedom to act was more than compensated for by my being able to negotiate a safe path through all of the unknown dangers that I'd be facing if I had to do it without the voice as my guide. To show his appreciation for my capitulation, the voice told me that he would get my mother to give up smoking, slowly, over the next six months. He told me that this might possibly extend her life by several years, and, at the very least, make her lifetime more enjoyable, however long it lasted. I asked him if he could do something for my father. He laughed and said that he'd prevent him from catching the clap during his Pacific Rim cruise. I didn't know whether he was kidding about that or not. I didn't ask him to do anything else though. ------- Chapter 9 Carolyn and I started being a little more cautious after that. It was obvious now, to both of us, that Sgt. Coffee was determined to catch us doing something. We stopped fooling around in Carolyn's house altogether. I would still stop by in the mornings, and we would take the little kids out to run around in the playground just as we had before, but when they went down for their naps, Carolyn and I would sit outside on the porch and talk. It seemed like it was harder on Carolyn, this abstinence, than it was on me. In the evening though, we spent nearly every night over by the fence around Bolling Field. We couldn't get enough of each other during that frantic two hours each night. I would get a hard on just from the anticipation of it, and Carolyn was always wet by the time I touched her. Throughout the summer, as our knowledge of each other's minds and bodies improved, our sex life kept getting better and better. Our relationship got stronger as well. I had finally found real love with a woman, something that had somehow eluded me altogether in my first time through. By the time the first week of August arrived, Carolyn was already starting to get sad whenever she thought about me leaving for California at the end of the month. The voice and I had already had many conversations concerning my move to California, saving Carolyn, and Carolyn and I getting married. The voice was always reminding me that Carolyn had to be totally removed from her family by December tenth, whether by death or for some other reason. If she remained alive, she couldn't ever get back into contact with them. The voice and I were still unable to agree on a method where she stayed alive, and the two of us were together. When I got agitated and frustrated about the lack of a workable solution, the voice reminded me that Carolyn had died just like this in my other life. The difference was, in my last time through, I hadn't kept in touch, and had never learned about her death. On the tenth of August, we found out that Sgt. Coffee had been promoted, and was being transferred to the American Embassy in Moscow. Mrs. Coffee, and the children were to leave almost immediately for Norfolk, so that they would be closer to her family during Sgt. Coffee's absence. I tried to remember whether this had happened in my prior lifetime, but I couldn't. I remembered flirting with Carolyn on her front porch for most of the summer, but I couldn't remember why we had stopped, or when we had stopped flirting. They would all be leaving on the fifteenth, when Sgt. Coffee's leave would begin. Carolyn, who still knew nothing about her impending death in December, was worried that this sudden move would mean the end of our relationship. I was more concerned with trying to get the voice to figure out a way to save her life. I promised her that I would come for her in Norfolk very soon, and that I wouldn't go to California without her. It was the morning of the sixteenth of August, when the voice woke me up out of a sound sleep. It must have done something to calm me down before it told me that Carolyn was dead. I heard what it said clearly, and understood. Carolyn and her cousin, Ralph, had been out driving around Norfolk. They had been coming down a steep hill when Ralph's brakes had failed and he'd lost control of the car and run right into a power line near the bottom of the hill. Carolyn had gotten out of the car and a live wire, that had been severed from the pole, had come into contact with her, and she was electrocuted. Her death was almost instantaneous. Ralph had been knocked out by the crash, and had some injuries, but he'd recover and be all right. Jimmy, I'm sorry that it had to happen like this. Before, she lived until December tenth. I thought that we'd have more time. It doesn't work like that, Jimmy. She's dead. I was crying, but I wasn't nearly as distraught as I would have expected to be. The only girl I'd ever loved was dead, and I was taking it pretty calmly. I suspected that he'd done something to me to deaden my pain. Jimmy, Carolyn and Ralph were intimate together right before the accident. Carolyn wasn't totally honest with you concerning her feelings for Ralph, and about his for her. If she had had the time to make an honest choice between being with you or with him, she would have chosen him. I'm sorry. I heard what he said, I could even accept that it was all true. I loved Carolyn anyway. What the voice had told me did nothing to change the fact that I loved her. That isn't true, Jimmy. If that was the case, I could have simply shown you the two of them making love in Ralph's car, and let you listen to Carolyn's own words, and her cries of happiness at being back in her cousin's embrace. You would have been so hurt and angry that you would have probably asked me to kill them both. I honestly felt, that as the time for her death got nearer, that I'd find some way to let her escape her fate. I know you are hurt by her death, and also by her lapse with Ralph, but the girl is dead. You have to move on. I'm making some slight adjustments in you to allow you to cope better with your loss. It took me a week to become adjusted enough to what had happened that I was able to think about the possibility of going forward with my life. I had spent most of that week in my bedroom. I had told my mother that Carolyn and I had broken up. As far as I knew, word of her death had never reached back up to our neighborhood. I did allow the voice to play me the accident and Carolyn's electrocution. It was the most painful thing that I have ever watched. I wouldn't let him show me the two of them making love together before the crash. Cousin Ralph looked a lot like me, except he was better looking. I hated him for fucking Carolyn, and for getting her killed too. I felt too numb about losing Carolyn to be that angry with her for being unfaithful to me. I was hurt by it, who wouldn't be? I had loved her though, and didn't regret a single minute of the time that the two of us had spent together. The voice stayed with me and helped me to get over the worst of it. He reminded me that she and I had gotten a lot of enjoyment from each other, and that she had led a richer, fuller life, because we had gotten together. My life was also enriched. It didn't overcome the loss, but it did help to mitigate some of my feelings of loss. On the twenty sixth of August, I caught a flight from Bolling field to March A.F.B. in Riverside, California. It was a smooth flight on a mail plane that carried military orders and other communications between Washington D.C. and the west coast. I had $700.00 in my pocket, two weeks of freedom from my parents, and a contact point and telephone number with a friend of my father's so that we could meet up after they got out to California and they had found a place for us to live. I called, "Tiny" Bueller, my father's friend, and he gave me directions to his house in Westminster. He told me that he had a spare bedroom that I could use if I cared to. That was unexpected, and very welcome since it meant that I would have more money available to do some sightseeing. When I hitched a ride to Garden Grove and walked the remaining two miles to Tiny's, I was struck with how undeveloped the area was compared to what I first remembered when I'd come out to California in 1959, during my first time through. I could see a lot of opportunity. The voice knew what I was thinking. You will need a legal adult for you to start buying property. Twenty one is the legal age to enter into contracts in California right now. You're legally still a child in most respects. Not in California. You can own property, but you can't enter into a legal contract on your own. No, I'm just making it up. Of course I'm sure. I could help you with that if you wanted me to. Help, assistance, I mean the usual thing when I say help. If you're asking me how, well, there are literally hundreds of ways. For example, less than three miles from where you are now standing, there is three thousand dollars in a bag that has been buried near a tree. In less than a week, that money will be totally and utterly buried and destroyed by a bulldozer and eight inches of concrete. The last owner was a thief named Francisco Lopez. He is no longer in a position to redeem the money. Certainly not before it is destroyed. He is in custody, and will soon be convicted and sentenced for his many crimes. The money itself represents the proceeds that he was paid for merchandise that he converted into cash with a host of people who buy stolen goods. The money will benefit no one if you don't come and rescue it. I followed his directions, using a stick to dig with. It took less than five minutes to find the bag with the money inside. Almost all of it was in tens and twenties. I put the bag in my suitcase and walked over to Tiny's house. In my first time through, Tiny, and his wife Terri, had been good friends with my parents for the first two years they had been out in California. Terri finally ran off from Tiny with another guy, and poor Tiny had spent the rest of his life just going to work and coming home and eating junk foods while watching television and lying on his sofa. He used to eat at least three big bowls of buttered and salted popcorn every night. He had a heart attack and died in 1966, but he had sugar diabetes really bad too. My father and I served as honorary pall bearers, but Tiny weighed more than four hundred pounds, and they used some kind of a special hoist to lift and lower his casket from the gurney. When I got to his house, Tiny was still at work, but Terri greeted me and made me welcome. Their house was a three bedroom box, with all of the rooms small even for that time. The room that they put me in was nine feet by ten feet. It was even smaller than my bedroom back in Washington had been. Tiny and Terri had no children, which was probably just as well considering how the two of them ended up. Terri was about thirty five or so. She was nice, but not that much to look at. She was friendly to me, but not overly so, and didn't show any signs of interest in me. When Tiny got home. I was surprised at how thin he was. By the time I met him in my last life, in late 1959, he must have been another fifty pounds heavier than he was right then. I'd guess that Tiny was about forty years old, a few years younger than my parents. He looked like he presently weighed less than two hundred pounds and was about six feet tall. I had always liked Tiny, and it really surprised me to see what he had looked like two years before I had met him in my last lifetime. Terri, on the other hand was about five feet tall, and couldn't have weighed much more than ninety pounds. He quit smoking, and substituted food for his nicotine cravings. He's one of a few people who quit smoking, and it shortened their lifespan rather than lengthened it. He made a bet at work, and needed to win it, because losing would have increased his money problems. Right now, they are stretched to their limit trying to keep up with their payments. Tiny's work has been having cutbacks, and he only gets about twenty five hours a week. It isn't enough to keep up with everything. A hundred dollars. It was more than that, but it was his quitting smoking that started him over eating. No, Jimmy, I can't go rescuing people from their fate. I thought you learned that with Carolyn? I doubt it, but you're welcome to try if you want to. That evening, Tiny and I worked out a plan for me staying with them for the whole two weeks. I insisted on giving him a hundred dollars to cover the room, and any meals that I ate there. Tiny also agreed to help me look for a used car to buy the next day because he had it off. We looked through the paper the next morning and found an old Chevy that an older couple was selling. It was in fair shape, with low mileage, and Tiny told me that it was a good buy at four hundred dollars. I managed to get them to come down to three fifty, and we took it over to the DMV to register it in my name, and for me to get myself a new driver's license. We spent nearly the whole day getting everything done, including getting insurance on my car. On the way home, I had Tiny stop at this butcher shop, and I bought three nice steaks as a thank you for all of his help. He took them outside to to the barbecue and we enjoyed a nice meal on his patio table. I now had a car, and I went over and registered for three Fall classes at Fullerton Junior College. I would be taking a real estate course, tennis, and finance. The tuition was almost nothing. My first class was meeting the next Tuesday, and it was the tennis class, part of the physical education curriculum. Finance and Real Estate met on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Tennis met on Tuesdays and was for two hours. I would be off every afternoon and all of Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. I started driving around everyday, looking at property that was for sale, just getting myself familiar with the nature of the real estate opportunities in 1957 Southern California. I found a large, older home in the Fullerton Heights that was for sale for sixteen thousand. It was on a huge lot that could easily be split off to give another four lots to build on. This was an area that had appreciated quite a bit during the sixties and early seventies. I figured that my folks would really do well owning this piece of property, and I could own the four parcels that I'd create. If I gave them three thousand to put towards the down payment, and paid for the lot split myself, I'd be well launched on my new career in real estate. They had experienced some financial difficulties the last time through, paying for all of the unexpected extra costs of buying and furnishing a new home. This time around, I'd make it all easier and better for them. The house that I had just found was a lot bigger, and much better constructed than the tract one that they bought the last time. This house had been custom built by the original owner and was made from far better materials. In California, it was the land values that were appreciating. This house was in a much more desirable area than the one that they had purchased the last time. I was excited at the potential this house offered to me, and to them of course. Do you want to get more money Jimmy? There's a man who is getting a divorce and he's selling all of his wife's jewelry very cheaply. For a thousand dollars, you could buy jewelry that a jeweler would give you at least four thousand for. He bought it for her. I guess that it is technically community property, but he's going to sell it in less than an hour anyway, and someone is going to benefit from the sale. I don't want it to be the person who bought it the last time. We went over to where the guy was going to offer the jewelry for sale. I offered him his full asking price while two others were trying to talk him into accepting less. I paid him the money and he gave me the jewels. I got back into my car and drove away. Good job. Jimmy. I know where you can go to sell them for more than you'd get from a jeweler too. We drove over to Pacific Palisades, and he told me to go knock on the door in the house he had me park in front of, and ask for Yvonne. I was to tell her that Claude had sent me, and offer to sell her all of the jewelry for six thousand dollars. Yvonne was a French woman, of about fifty or so. When she answered the door, I told her that I had come because Claude told me that she might be interested in buying some jewelry at a good price. She invited me in, and then asked me a couple of questions about how I knew Claude. The voice provided me with the answers, and they seemed to satisfy her. I showed her the jewelry, and told her that I was selling it all for six thousand dollars. She looked each piece over very carefully, and then went and got a jeweler's loupe and examined it all once again. "It is pretty good, but not six thousand good. Perhaps I could give you three thousand for all of it?" Tell her that Blind Tom would give you six thousand for it, and that you'll take it to him if she isn't interested. I had been ready to tell her that six thousand was the price, and that it was firm. I liked the voice's response better though, so I used it. "I'll go to five thousand, but you can take it to Blind Tom if you don't like that price." "Thank you for seeing me. I'm sorry that we couldn't do business. I only came to you first, as a favor to Claude. Good bye." When I reached down for the jewelry, to put it back inside the velvet bag that it had come in, Yvonne put her hand on my wrist to stop me. I let go of the necklace that I had first grabbed, and she went over each piece once again with her loupe. "Because Claude is a friend, I'll pay you six thousand. Don't think that I would always allow you to take advantage of me like this. Wait here." She left the room, and returned with a big bundle of cash. There were fifties and hundreds, plus a lot of twenty dollar bills as well. She slowly counted out the money in stacks of one thousand dollars. When she was done counting it out, she waited while I picked it up and counted it too. I took the money and put half in one front pocket, and half in the other. She insisted on giving me her phone number and telling me to call her if I ran across anything else that she might find interesting. She walked me to the door and showed me out. I now had over eight thousand dollars, a place to live, and a car. In addition I'd located a good investment and a place for my parent's to live. Not bad for being in town for less than a week. I was driving back towards, Tiny's, feeling pretty good about my prospects. Jimmy, there's someone that I'd like you to meet. It's a girl who is having some problems. She could use some help, and it would be easier for her to accept it, if that help came from you. Her name is Donna, she's eighteen, and she needs to get out of an abusive relationship. In the former time line, I waited too long, and it resulted in a far bigger mess than it needed to be. I'm thinking that if you intercede now, we can avoid a lot of unnecessary problems later. She's very pretty. I think you might enjoy spending some time with her. She's friendly. I didn't say involvement. I leave that choice up to you. Wouldn't you like to help someone in trouble? It probably wouldn't take more than a month or two to help her, and to get her started on a much better path. Drive over to Huntington Beach. Go down Beach Boulevard, past Adams, until you get to the A&W Root Beer stand. Pull in there. It's on your right. She works there. First meet her, and then I'll tell you more about her. I had always been curious. Usually, that was a good thing, because it forced me to investigate things more closely than someone else might have. It helped in my investing, that was for certain. At times though, my curiosity caused me to get involved in things that I'd have rather not been exposed to. I figured that going by the drive in wouldn't hurt me, and I could always use a root beer float. I was also thinking that the voice had been very generous in getting me a lot of easy money very quickly. I owed him the courtesy of at least looking at what he was asking me to do. I parked at the root beer place, it was one of those car hop places that had young girls wearing roller skates and cute little uniforms. They would come by on skates and take your order. This was before the age of drive thru's. Most of the girls were cute, and they were friendly too. Not necessarily friendly with their favors, but friendly with people, and willing to let themselves be looked at by all the boys that came in to get something to eat or drink. Most of these girls weren't insulted by the wolf whistles and flattering comments about their looks. The parking area was nearly empty when I pulled in, just my car and two others. One of the girls was leaning into one of the cars, and it looked like she was kissing the guy in the driver's seat. After I sat there for a minute, one of the other girls came out from one of the doors and skated over to me. That's her, Jimmy. Her name is Donna. I watched her skate over to me. It was pretty obvious that roller skating was something that she had taken up only recently. She was navigating towards me very carefully and looked uncertain about whether she'd be able to make it to my car. She had one of those trays in her hands, the kind that you roll your window down and it sits outside your car. "Welcome to Art's A&W. My name is Donna, what can I get you today?" "Let me guess, Donna, this is your first day working here?" "Yes. I'm not too steady at skating yet. They say it only takes a day or two before it gets easy." "How about a large root beer float and a hamburger?" "Would you like some fries too?" "Sure, I guess. I don't know if I'll be able to eat it all." "Large or small?" "Large, and I'll need some salt and ketchup." She skated back to deliver my order to the cook. She lives at home, and her boyfriend lives next door to her. He is using drugs, and he's trying to get her to use them too. She'd be better off if she broke away from him now, before he gets her involved in that lifestyle. She is low on self esteem, and isn't really a strong enough person, in her own right, to stand up to him for much longer. She needs someone who can give her the strength to walk away from what is fast becoming a bad situation. I can fix that for you. Will you help her to break away from that guy? Do you know how to fight? "Not really. I haven't had a fight since the fifth grade, and I didn't do too good in that one.> Would you like to help her? I would consider it a favor, for both she and I? First, she needs to know that she needs to run away. Right now, she still thinks this other guy is Mr. Wonderful. It wouldn't take much to change the way that she sees him, but then she doesn't have anyone to take his place. In three months, her real Mr. Wonderful will appear, but by then, she won't recognize him for what he is. I explained this to you before. I only get involved when things need to be changed or set right again. This is something that I set right last time. If I intervene earlier this time, it will mean less work than I went through before. I just want you to help me get her away from this jerk before he injures her too badly. After you do that, take her out and watch over her for a little while, until she meets Mr. Wonderful, and then you're done. Easier for all of us, Jimmy. She isn't a virgin, and I know that you miss being active already. Sex is a strong motivator. It will make everything seem more natural and easier too. I can help you by taking the jerk out of the picture as long as you can keep her occupied for a couple of months. It seemed pretty cold blooded to me. Altering someone's perceptions so that they found another person attractive. Where was the free will? There was really no arguing though with his contention that she would be better off not getting into drugs. I don't know how much was rationalization from me, and how much was an honest desire to help her out. In any event, I found myself agreeing to do it. I missed Carolyn, and I missed being involved with someone. It is amazing how quickly having someone that you're involved with romantically becomes important to your sense of well being. I was also horny, in a very basic, physical sense. I had been changed by the time that I'd spent with Carolyn. I didn't feel comfortable alone anymore. I saw Donna coming out carrying a tray with my order. I found myself willing her to succeed, as she slowly made her way to my car. I think that I was more relieved than she was when she finally delivered the order to me safely. "What's your name?" She was still standing by my window, balanced precariously on her skates, making adjustments with her body to keep from falling. "Jimmy Gordon. I'm new to California. In fact, yours is the first friendly face that I've seen since I got here." "You think my face is friendly?" Apparently that saying hadn't been made popular yet. I had to keep watching the things that I said." "I think your face is very pretty. Your nice smile, and the way that you talk to me is what's friendly. Your friend over leaning into that Plymouth, well, she's a different kind of friendly." Donna laughed. "Ellen's going to get fired if she keeps spending all of her time making out with her boyfriend. It's so slow now though, Art doesn't mind if we go out and talk with the customers. He says that we can't do it when it's the busy time. I can stay for awhile, and keep you company while you eat. If you want me to?" "Have you ever been to Disneyland, Donna?" "I went once, but everything is so expensive there. I like Knott's Berry Farm better. It's free to get in, and their food prices are better. You'd love Mrs. Knott's chicken dinner I bet." "Would you take me to both places? I've got the money, I just don't want to go alone." "I'm sorry, Jimmy, I already have a boyfriend. He wouldn't like it if I went out with someone else." "I'd buy you Mrs. Knott's chicken dinner." "I just can't. He gets mean if he even thinks some other guy is looking at me." "That doesn't sound like the sort of boyfriend that a girl like you should have, Donna." "Are you the sort of boyfriend that a girl like me should have, Jimmy?" "I might be. At least I know how to be nice to a girl and treat her with respect and affection." "If I did go with you to Disneyland and to Knott's, what would you expect from me?" "Just your company, Donna. That would be more than enough for me." "It would be expensive. Are you sure that you can afford to spend that much?" "I'm real sure. Tomorrow's Saturday, are you working tomorrow? "I'm just here today to get some training. I won't really start until there's an opening. After I'm trained, Art says he might call me in if it gets busy, or if one of the girls calls in sick. By the time I really start, I need to be able to skate a lot better." "Good, let's go tomorrow. What's your address, I'll come by to get you at nine?" "Can we meet somewhere else? My boyfriend lives right next door to me. I'm serious that he wouldn't like it if he knew that we were going out, not even if it was innocent, like you promised." "You name the place Donna, I'll meet you there at nine o'clock tomorrow." "All right. How about right here? I'll see you here at nine?" "I'm really looking forward to it. See you then." The bill for my lunch came to two dollars and change. I gave her a five dollar bill and told her to keep the change. The smile that she gave me was very wide, and her thanks were effusive. I drove away happy at the prospect of spending some time with her. ------- Chapter 10 I was trying to relax and get myself some sleep. The mattress on the bed that Tiny and Terri had provided for me, wasn't very comfortable. I'd always had trouble adjusting to sleeping on strange beds, all through my prior lifetime. I was thinking about Donna, and then thinking about Carolyn too. I would have to admit that Donna had the prettier face, but Carolyn's body had been far superior. Donna's breasts seemed on the small side, even with the outfit that she'd been wearing at the drive in. Her figure wasn't as full in the hips, or anywhere else either. I'd have to say that she was on the slight side, whereas Carolyn had been on the lush side. Thinking about Carolyn made me sad, and I cried a little bit, remembering little things about some of the times that we had spent together. I finally fell asleep, and I woke up at about seven. Tiny and Terri were out in the kitchen, and it had been their voices that had awakened me. I didn't know if they were arguing or not, but their voices didn't seem relaxed or happy. They had a tight quality, like they were both trying to bite back harsh words. I heard the front door close rather strongly, not exactly slammed, but not just closed either. I got up and used the hall bathroom, taking a quick shower, and doing what I needed to in order to be ready to leave. Terri was in the kitchen, dressed in a house robe, and drinking a cup of coffee. "Morning Terri, was that Tiny I heard leaving earlier?" "Hi, Jimmy. Yes, that was him heading off to the salt mines. I'm sorry if we woke you with our arguing. It's just that Tiny is so easy going. He lets people at work take advantage of him, and he won't ever speak up and say what he should be saying. Every week, it seems like he gets fewer and fewer hours, and he won't ever go in to the office and tell them that we can't get by on the hours that they're giving him. He'd be better off quitting, or looking for another job. The way we're going, we're apt to lose the house. Tiny told me about you insisting on helping us out by paying rent. Thank you. We can really use the money. Tiny would never have asked you, that isn't his way." "That's all right Terri, I was glad to do it. It really made it easy for me that I got a place to stay so quickly and didn't have to spend any of my time looking for a place. Now, I need you to do me another favor too. I came into some money recently from a friend of mine. I had done him a favor awhile back, and he inherited a bunch of money, from an uncle or something. I wanted to share my windfall, with someone who could use a little help. Can I give the money to you? Someday, when you and Tiny are doing better, maybe you can find somebody else who could use a little help, and do the same for them." "Thanks, Jimmy, but Tiny would never let you do that. He's very proud and stubborn. He isn't even willing to ask his own brother for help. He certainly wouldn't take it from you. I wish that he would, because it would really be welcome right now." "We don't have to tell Tiny. You can tell him that someone in your family sent it to you." "I couldn't lie to Tiny." I went back into my room and counted out five hundred dollars, in twenty dollar bills. I went back in the kitchen and placed the stack of bills on the table, right in front of her. "I won't take no for an answer from you Terri. You were complaining about Tiny being proud and stubborn, so don't you be like that." She picked up the money and counted it. She tried to protest, but I wouldn't hear any of it from her. "You guys took me in, and I was practically a stranger. I wouldn't feel right not sharing some of my good fortune with you." "I don't know how or when we could repay you, Jimmy. This is an awful lot of money. Too much really, especially for me to just take it from you. I don't know what to say." There were tears on her cheeks, but she was smiling too. "Will that help you guys to get caught up?" "Yes, oh yes! I can get the house caught up, and pay all the money that we owed on the electric. They were threatening to turn it off. Jimmy, I know that I shouldn't take this, but if you're really sure that you don't need it?" "Terri, I've got a lot more money right now than I need. You'd be doing me a big favor by taking it. It makes me feel good to help you guys like you helped me." "I'm going to go get this deposited, and mail out those checks this morning. I'm not sure what I'm going to tell Tiny, Jimmy. I know that I'm not telling him anything though, not until I know that our checks have been cashed by the mortgage company and the electric company. I'm not going to take a chance on Tiny doing something, or being stubborn, and us losing our house." "I can drive you down to the bank if you want, Terri, but I need to be somewhere at nine, so I can't give you a ride back here." "I'd appreciate a ride if it won't be too much trouble, Jimmy. I'll probably stop at the supermarket on the way back and pick up a few things for supper. I'll be making some of my lasagna tonight, will you be home for supper?" "I think I'm going to be eating out tonight, but maybe you could save me some? I like it when it's leftovers too." "I'll make a lot, just to make sure that we don't eat it all. I can be ready to go in about fifteen or twenty minutes, will that be all right?" I told her that it would be fine, and got myself some milk from the fridge. I felt good about helping Tiny and Terri. I wondered if it was going to be enough. I knew that money worries cropped up in most families from time to time. My parents probably had more arguments about money than they did about anything else. I was expecting Terri to take more time than she said, and was surprised that she was actually ready to go in about ten minutes. She had short hair, so that probably hurried things up a lot. We went out, and I held the passenger door opened for her to get in. "Jimmy, it's going to feel so much better to be caught up on our house payments. You don't know what it's been like, waiting everyday for the mail to come, and hoping that we weren't being foreclosed on." She started crying again, but I knew that these were tears of relief. "Now, we both have to work on Tiny to go looking for a better job. What does he do, I never asked him?" "He is a quality control inspector for Airco Cryogenics. They bottle and sell gases. Tiny used to make good money when he first started there three years ago. Now, they only use him two or three days a week. They are going automated, and now they have a machine that can make a lot of the inspections that Tiny used to make." "Can't he train into doing something else for them?" "I've told him to ask them, but he doesn't listen to me. He is shy like that, doesn't want to seem like he's pushy or anything. In the meantime, we're about to lose our home." "We'll both talk to him, Terri. I bet he could get a better job easy. He just needs to start looking for one." I let her off at the curb by their bank. She tried to thank me again, but I just waved her away. The bank didn't open until nine, it was one of those new savings and loans that weren't actually banks, but they did have checking accounts. They offered free checking, and gave you a new toaster or a wall clock as a gift, if you opened a new account with them. I drove off, to go meet Donna. "I was worried that you weren't going to come." I had just pulled into the drive in and Donna had come over and got into my car. "I was worried that you'd change your mind about coming with me. I had a hard time sleeping last night because I was excited about today." "Most people are, their first time going to Disneyland." "I wasn't talking about Disneyland." "Oh." She looked over at me and smiled as I put the car in reverse and backed out from the parking space. "I went to Disneyland about two months after it opened, but I haven't been back. It costs a lot in there. I don't know how people with big families can afford to go there for a whole day. The cost of food and drinks just eats you up." "You don't worry about costs today, okay? I've brought plenty of money, and I just want both of us to enjoy the day." "Are you rich or something? I mean this car is kind of old, if you're rich. I didn't mean it to sound bad like that. I don't even have a car. I just meant that rich people usually drive new and expensive cars." "I'm not rich. I'm still in school. My parent's aren't rich either. I saved some money from summer jobs and I got lucky with a couple of other things recently. I have enough for today, and I really don't want to worry about the cost." "My boyfriend, Danny, he never takes me out to do fun things. He spends all of his money on beer and car magazines. He says that he's saving for a car, but whenever I ask him how much he's got saved, he tells me that it isn't any of my business. I don't think he's saved anything. His idea of a date is to come over to my house and get me to make him something to eat, and then sit on the couch and watch television. I really like him and all, he's cute, and he kind of looks like James Dean. It's just that he never does anything that is entertaining and fun for me. Well, there is one thing, but I meant like a date." She giggled, in a way that made it certain to me that she was talking about either making out or having sex. She seemed like she was somewhat flighty. The voice had said that she had low self esteem, and had indicated that she didn't have a strong sense of herself. We made it over to Disneyland and got ourselves a parking space. Already people were filling up the parking lot, even though the park wasn't opening until ten. I hoped that it wouldn't be so crowded that we wouldn't be able to go on all of the rides. I hoped in vain, because, by eleven or so, the lines to all of the better rides were at least half an hour long. We walked around, using up some of our ride tickets, and managed to go all over the park. I bought Donna several souvenirs, all of them way overpriced, but with things like that, you weren't ever going to get a good deal. "So, you don't mind that I already have a boyfriend, and that we can't do anything like a boyfriend and girlfriend would do together?" We were sitting down having lunch and talking. It was a wonderful day, as far as the weather was concerned, pleasant, and not too hot. We were eating some kind of sausages that Donna had said that she really liked. Both of us were drinking Cokes. "I don't mind, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't like it a lot better if you were unattached." She smiled, as if she liked my answer. "I guess I'm fairly unattached right now. For today at least. It doesn't feel right to let you spend all this money on me and not let you even hold my hand or put an arm around me. Especially since this is costing you more than Danny has spent on me for awhile. Maybe more than the total he's ever spent on me." "I don't want to have to think about it like that. I'm just out with a pretty girl, having a great time. I knew that you had a boyfriend when you agreed to show me Disneyland. I don't want you thinking that I expect anything other than your company." "I sometimes wish that I wasn't in love with Danny. I mean, if he doesn't treat me good when we're going out together, how is he going to treat me when we're married? If we even do get married. My mother and all of my friends warned me not to do anything with him until after he married me, but I wouldn't listen, and now it's too late." "It's never too late, Donna. You're still a young girl. You aren't locked into any one future right now. You still have all the time in the world to decide what you want." "Once you have sex with a guy, it's too late. You can't turn back and pretend that you didn't do it. They expect it after you let them once. I just never learn. I tell myself that I won't let it happen the next time, but I always do, because how can you tell the new one no, after you told the old one yes?" "You just say no, if that's what you want to say." "And then there's that too. Once you get started saying yes, you don't want to say no after that. It is different for you guys. Nobody really cares if you're doing it or not. Guys will even lie, and say that they are. You never hear girls lying about doing more than they are." "We're having a good time right now, Donna, let's just concentrate on that." "You never said about whether you have a girlfriend back home in Washington, Jimmy. I bet you do though. Guys like you always have girlfriends." "I had a girl, but she moved away, and then she was in an accident and got killed." "That's terrible! How old was she, and what kind of an accident?" So I told her about Carolyn, and as I told her, speaking quietly, I started crying again. I felt the full weight of her loss, and of her betrayal of me with Ralph. I poured out the whole, sad, story to Donna. I was sure, by the time that I was half way through, that the voice had taken away whatever it was that he had done to me to make the pain of Carolyn's death seem less terrible. So there I was, in Disneyland, with, perhaps fifty thousand people, all total strangers milling around me, sitting at an outdoor table, and crying like a baby. It wasn't my most shining moment. The pain of losing Carolyn was shooting through me in waves, clutching at my stomach and almost making me sick. It was a physical pain, very real, and uncomfortable. I got up and went in search of a bathroom, telling Donna to wait there and that I'd soon return. Don't kid yourself. Women love men who can show deep feelings. Many are convinced that men don't hide them, they think that men just don't have any. Donna is very enthralled with you now. Her maternal instinct wants to just smother you in affection, and give you comfort to ease your pain. Right now, she's thinking that you need to make love to another woman to get over some of that pain and anguish. She can see herself in that role too. Jimmy, need I remind you that you can't hide anything from me? I know, at the same time that you do, what you're thinking. Carolyn is gone. Nothing that happens with you from now on will have any effect on her. Donna needs someone to help her to free herself from that jerk. Who gets hurt if the two of you decide to comfort each other? I washed my face and looked into the mirror above the wash basin. My eyes didn't look too puffy. Still, I felt like I needed some sun glasses. I went out and bought a pair at one of the souvenir kiosks that were all over the place in the park. I put them on and went back to find Donna waiting at the table. She stood up when I got close and grabbed my arm and held my hand. We started walking around some more, and went to stand in the line for the Jungle Cruise. We left the park at about four thirty, and drove over to Buena Park to have dinner at Mrs. Knott's Chicken Dinner Restaurant. After dinner we walked around, we got our picture taken so that it looked like we were on one of those old Conestoga wagons, that had a team of oxen pulling it. Then we walked around some more, watching, as various artisans made things, like rings from a horseshoeing nail. We looked at various exhibits that showed how things were done or were made in the Old West. At seven o'clock, I pulled in to drop her off at the drive in again. Except for my little breakdown, and her confession of her problems with relationships, we had gotten along well, and I had a great time. I was still embarrassed about crying in front of her. "What are you going to see next?" "I thought Marineland, and then, maybe a trip to walk around Hollywood." "I've never been to Marineland." "I'd love to have you come with me." "When?" "When can you get away to do it?" "Tomorrow?" "Same place and time?" "Do you mean it. You really want to take me?" "Sure, you're great company. Why wouldn't I want to have you with me?" "What about Danny?" "Don't you think it might be stressful on all three of us if he joined us?" She laughed, trying to imagine that scene, I think. "I meant that I can't keep going places with you, and still be Danny's girlfriend." "You don't need to stay his girlfriend on my account. I'd like you even if you weren't going with Danny." "But, would you want me for a girlfriend, if he and I weren't together any more?" "I don't know, Donna, as you saw today, I still haven't gotten over Carolyn." "That's all right. I can understand it, if you still have feelings for her. It's just like you told me though, you're young and you still have your whole future to think of." "My offer to take you to Marineland is still open. What you and Danny decide, that's up to you. I think it's too soon for me to be thinking about having another relationship." "I think I'd like to go with you tomorrow. I'm going to break up with Danny. He doesn't really love me. I knew that, but I sometimes just try to pretend that he does. Be here tomorrow at nine. Don't tell me that you'll be here, and then not come." "I'll see you then." She had started to get out of my car, but then hesitated and came over and kissed me, softly, on my lips. "Thank you for today, Jimmy. I had a good time. Thank you for the souvenirs too." When she was done, she kissed me again, this time firmer, but still closed mouth. "Bye." I drove home. At least part of what I'd told her had been true. I didn't think I was ready to have a relationship. I was still a young man though, with a young man's hormones. She was attractive to me, and I'd been thinking about having sex with her ever since I spoke with the voice on the way to the bathroom several hours before. I didn't want to take advantage of her and use her though. This was my second time through, and I'd done more than enough using on my first time through. Jimmy, you have to lighten up a little. We aren't talking about you using her, or about long term relationships. This is an accommodation, plain and simple, for the two of you. By helping her to break away from Danny, the jerk, you are saving her from a lot of very bad things. If she wants to have you make love with her a few times, who will it really hurt? You already know that you want some sex. She wants some with you too. I don't see any losers here, it's win win all the way. So, you think you'll just spend the rest of your life horny and unfulfilled? That sounds like your first time through. Maybe I should just leave you alone, because it would be easier on me if you did remain alone. Right when I was talking, my dick started rising to a full erection, and my balls seemed fuller than ever, and in need of release. I knew that the voice had done it just to show it's power over me, showing me that it could do it, in spite of my refusal. I might not be able to refrain from getting an erection, but I wouldn't give it the satisfaction... I started spurting into my underwear. It was embarrassing that he could make me do that. I hadn't lifted so much as a finger to myself, and it had made me cum. I wasn't amused by this, not at all. I didn't want to see you hurt yourself just by trying to prove a point, Jimmy. That was a purely physical release. Nothing bad has happened because of it. You didn't betray any trust, or hurt anyone by having that ejaculation. There's no reason for you to feel bad, or to think of Carolyn. She had nothing to do with it, and she won't have anything to do with any others, unless you start thinking of her while it's happening. That wouldn't be your wisest course of action though, thinking of Carolyn when you are engaging in sex. I know exactly how it made you feel. You seem to think that I'm just going to stand by and allow you to not follow my instructions on this. You forget the promise that you made to get me to help you back time that mess with you and Carolyn after you got caught. You later agreed to help me with Donna, but now you aren't willing to follow through. That gives me the right to do something. This was only an attempt to get you to take control of yourself, and follow through on your commitment to both Donna and I. If that's how you want it. I have already gone to a lot of trouble setting this plan in motion for Donna, all of it based on your stated willing agreement to participate. I would have done nothing if you hadn't said that you'd help me out with it. It's too late for you to back out now. Because I've already put the boyfriend on ice. He was arrested for possession earlier this afternoon. Someone needs to be with Donna for the next two months. You agreed to be that someone. Who is a better judge of what she needs, Jimmy? I know all about her, about what will happen if she is running loose for the next two months. You need to take care of her sexual needs to keep her on a path to meet her Mr. Wonderful. If not, everything that I've done to get us to this point will have been for nothing. That isn't the worst part either. I'm committed to this path now. I can't reverse it, not without a lot of upheavals. Tell me again why you won't. We have never really gotten to that part, where you explained what you have against having sex with a pretty girl, one who is more than willing? That's because she wanted them to. She said it the way that she did because she didn't want to come right out and tell you that she has strong needs for sex, and for male attention. She has been repeating this same cycle ever since she was thirteen. She will be able to break the cycle, Jimmy, but it will have to be after you. You are just a bridge that she has to cross in order to get to where she needs to go. You don't believe me when I tell you that your having sex with her is the best thing for her at this point in her current path? Think for a minute. It isn't the sex that she needs, she could get that on her own. What she needs is for a guy to treat her well even after she lets him have her body. She needs that in order for her to be receptive to it when Mr. Wonderful does comes along. If she has never experienced it before, she won't recognize it when she runs into it again. You lying to yourself about what you want, that doesn't matter to me. That's what this is. You can't keep using Carolyn as the reason that you don't want to do things. That goes for this thing, and for a lot of other things down the road. If I had really wanted to control you, Jimmy, I'd have made you believe that Donna was Carolyn. I could do that if I chose to. That stopped me cold. I wasn't into necrophilia, but, if he could make me believe that Donna was Carolyn, I could do Carolyn. I could do Carolyn a lot. You can be so pathetic, Jimmy. Carolyn is dead. I can do it, but I have a responsibility to you, now, and in the future, not to do that. I'm sorry that I mentioned it to you. All right, Jimmy. I probably shouldn't have allowed you to goad me into this, but, you have. Tomorrow, after you visit Marineland, take Donna to a motel and make love to her. She will be Donna, right up until the second that you penetrate her. During actual intercourse, she will be Carolyn to you. Everything will be just as it was with Carolyn. All you have to remember is that it is really Donna, so don't call her Carolyn, okay? I'm sure that you would. That's why not. It is already very unhealthy for you. It is bad enough for me to allow you this during intercourse, without having it seem like her the whole time. I already regret making you this offer. That's funny, Jimmy. I was thinking the same thing about myself. I think I'm going to leave you to yourself tonight. I need to go somewhere, and get all of this cleared out of my thoughts. Try not to get into any trouble while I'm gone. I felt the voice leave me. It was an actual presence now in my mind. I drove back to Tiny's, uncomfortable to have a load of cum in my trousers, but anticipating making love to Carolyn again. I started thinking about whether this would be fair to Donna, what we were going to be doing. I wouldn't like having her thinking about another guy while we were doing it. I don't think anybody would like that. I couldn't pass up this chance to make love to Carolyn again though. I just couldn't. I was waiting at the drive in when Donna walked up a little before nine. She came around to the driver's side and kissed me. It was more than a casual kiss of greeting, but still very innocent, lacking any passion. "Guess what? Danny got arrested for having his pills, and now he's down at the jail. I kept telling him that he'd get in trouble, but he never listened to me about anything. His dad isn't going to bail him out either. He says that maybe this time Danny will learn his lesson." "I hope that you still want to go with me, Donna, to Marineland." "Sure, why wouldn't I? I was going to break up with him anyway. Plus, I told you that I'd go with you. I'm not upset that he was arrested. He was always trying to make me take pills too. I know a girl that takes those pills, and her boyfriend makes her do things with other guys in order to get money to buy pills. I think that is what Danny was thinking too, that he'd get me to do that too so he could afford to buy more pills." "Well, let's have another good time today, and let Danny worry about himself." As I started the car up and was backing out, Donna slid over on the seat until her hip was touching mine. When I looked at her, she smiled at me. I smiled back, and off we went. We got out to Marineland, and the park was closed for some kind of repairs. A long drive for nothing. We decided to go to the beach instead, and went for a walk, and had a good talk about things that we'd both like to do someday. Donna said that she'd like to get on a train and travel for a month, stopping in whatever town she took a fancy to, and then getting back on the next train after she had seen the town. I told her that I'd like to make a lot of money and never have to have a real job, just do whatever I wanted to. "Do you think that you'll ever get over that other girl, Jimmy? I thought about it last night, about how hard it might be for you to start over again. That's what I'm going to have to do too, start all over again. Maybe we could help each other, you know, together, to start over? I like you, and you seem to like me too. I can understand though, if you aren't ready yet. Or, if you don't want someone like me. I wouldn't run around on you though, that's not my way. I'm not saying anything bad about that other girl, I just wanted you to know that I wasn't like that." "Suppose that we were making love, Donna, and it happened that I started thinking about Carolyn while we were together like that. Or maybe imagined even that you were her, that I was making love to her and not you. That could happen, especially at first. Would that bother you?" "Even if you pretended it was her, Jimmy, it would still be me that you were doing it to, right? I'd be the one who was getting your loving, even if it was somebody else you were thinking of?" I wished then that I hadn't brought it up with her. I wanted to be fair, but this had to be hurtful to her self esteem. I wasn't any better than Danny or the other guys who had used her over the years. I was probably worse. "I'm sorry, Donna. I guess it's just too soon for me. If I make love to you, I'd want it to be you that I was thinking about. You deserve to be treated better than I can probably treat you right now." "We don't know for sure who you'd be thinking about. It might be me. I think we should find out, Jimmy. I wouldn't have brought her up if I didn't want to try to get you to be my boyfriend. I think we should try it and find out for sure. You want to find a private part of the dunes, off of the beach where we can maybe see if we are good together?" "How about if I get us a room in a motel, and we can see there instead?" "That costs a lot of money Jimmy, and I can't stay all night. I need to be home before nine. I don't want you to waste your money. We could do it in the car, if we found someplace that was private." "Donna, you deserve better than the dunes, or the back of my car. We'll get a room. Just don't expect too much, okay? We'll maybe just talk and kiss and cuddle at first, until we get used to each other." "But, Jimmy, the money." "Let me worry about that, Donna. I wouldn't spend it if I didn't want to." We walked back to the car, and I started driving back towards Huntington Beach, all of the time keeping an eye out for a likely motel. Donna was once again sitting right next to me. She seemed to like having some physical connection. I heard her talking, but it sounded more like nervous talk, and I was paying attention to my thoughts. "Whatever you say, but don't ask me to change her unless you're already penetrating her with your penis." "I understand. Relax, enjoy yourselves. It isn't oral surgery, you're allowed to enjoy it." I found a nice looking motel close to the ocean. It cost me twenty four dollars, but I'd have paid more at the time. My hands were sweating when I returned to my car with the room key. I flashed Donna the room key and she sent me a happy smile. "Last chance to change your mind." I was nervous as we walked to the room. "Not me, I want to do it with you." She looked like she was ready. Nothing about her posture or the way that she walked indicated any nerves or second thoughts. For one of the few times since I'd come back for a second chance, I wished that I had a bottle of booze. The room wasn't that fancy, but the bed was a double, and the sheets were clean, the decor was all right. I was glad that it didn't look sleazy. I wouldn't have liked that for her. Donna went over and sat down on the bed. She gave a bounce or two on the mattress. I never knew why women did that. I guess it is like men who kick tires or won't ask for directions. Genetic imprinting or something. "So, who goes first? Or do you want to race to see who gets naked the quickest?" Donna was pulling off her top and kicking off her shoes as she stood back up. I had taken one shoe off when she sat back down on the bed totally nude. I looked at her as I took off the rest of my clothes. She was tall, but delicate. Her curves were more subtle than I was used to with Carolyn. She looked good to me though, sexy in a whole different way than Carolyn was. Sitting on the bed as I looked at her, I saw that she was now a little nervous. "You are beautiful, Donna. I'm happy that we are in here right now so that I can see you like this." I sat next to her on the bed and we started kissing. there was a natural progression, with me being the aggressor. I kissed her all over, and soon, we were both laying down on the bed, on top of the covers. I won't lie, and say that I didn't think of Carolyn, because I did. Many times. But, what I was doing, and what I wanted to do, was making love to Donna. We spent a long time, going slowly, one small step at a time. In the end, as I entered her, I knew that I didn't want it to be Carolyn that I was doing this with right then. I wasn't over Carolyn, maybe I never would be, but I could make love to Donna and not wish that she was someone else. Donna was responsive, but differently than Carolyn had been. She built up to things slowly, but each time she pushed it up a notch, it was up all over her body. I have always been a toucher when I make love. More than the actual fucking, I like to be part of the whole union. Donna was a toucher too. We made slow love, and, as we did so, we caressed each other with our hands, and planted kisses wherever we could reach. It was as though we were signaling each other with our hands, to let each other know where we wanted to concentrate now. In a way, the actual joining at the hips was more of a starting point than a finishing place. That held true only until the time to finish drew near. Then, where we were joined became the focus of everything that we were together. It wasn't a climax, or an orgasm, or a cum, it was a draining of both of our essences, into a single, liquid, pond. We were spent, absolutely, totally, completely spent. I used up my last dram of energy just rolling off of her, and fell asleep in seconds. I didn't know what time it was, but I'd just awakened with Donna spooned in close to me. Yes, Jimmy, even I was impressed by that display. Would you believe me if I told you that it was even better for her? I could play you the tape from her mind and her feelings. Not a bit. The two of you simply meshed well with each other. It is like an arranged marriage that turned out to be love at first sight. Perhaps it really means that every time you have sex with someone, it will turn out to be incredible. Oh, please! ------- Chapter 11 Donna woke up about fifteen minutes after I had. She seemed less sure of herself around me, at least until I told her how wonderful it had been for me. We were talking and touching and just being happy about being together. She had gotten up until she was laying right on top of me. "Are you going to feed me now? You made me all hungry." Since she was already laying on top of me, I took advantage of it by putting my hands so that they were each cupping one of her ass cheeks. "What do you want to do? Make love again, and then leave and go get something to eat, or get dressed and go get something, and then come back and make love?" "What time is it?" "It's only two o'clock, we didn't sleep that long." "Can we do it again, then go out to eat, and still come back and do it again?" "We can try. Is that what you have gotten used to? It might kill me if I have to maintain a three times a day schedule." "I just thought that you'd want to, since you already paid for the room. We may as well get your money's worth out of it." "Donna, you shouldn't worry so much about the money. What we already did was worth far more to me than the cost of the room. Why don't we take a shower together, and then go out and find a nice restaurant? Afterwards, we can come back here and see if we can do as well as we did the first time." We went in and took a shower. It was a long shower, and we both got a little carried away when we were soaping each other for such a long time. After we were nice and clean, and we had toweled each other off, we somehow wound up back on the bed, and I had my face buried between her legs. I really had to work hard to convince her that it was all right for me to do that to her. She told me that she'd never had it done to her, and that she had never done that to a guy. I was surprised at that, because the voice had hinted at least that she had been promiscuous since she was thirteen years old. Surely, one of her partners would have introduced her to the joys of oral sex? When I finally got myself situated, and was getting really well started on eating her, she was all tensed up and uncomfortable. I'd told her to relax, but it wasn't doing any good. She seemed to have a big hang up about oral, for some reason. I decided that if I quit, she might never let me have another opportunity to show her how good it can be. I continued light kisses on and around her pussy, hoping that this would seem less of a threat to her. It took me a good long while before I felt her relaxing, and allowing her muscles to unclench. With one of my hands, I started lightly stroking and moving my fingers around her pussy, while, at the same time, I was kissing her thighs and her outer pussy lips. I could see her pussy starting to open, and bloom with color as the blood rushed down to her there. Sometime, and I'm not exactly sure when, we crossed that divide that separates tolerate from desire. Her hips took on a slight, sensual movement, and she stopped withdrawing from each new point of contact. Instead of withdrawing now, she began pressing herself forward slightly, trying to get even more contact and stimulation from me. By the time she started rubbing my hair and caressing my ears, I knew that I had made a new convert. I brought her to an orgasm, withdrew my lips from her, and allowed her to come back down, and then, quickly, I brought her back up beyond where I'd taken her before. I wanted her to experience something that she would remember, so I worked carefully, and she started to give off signs of greater arousal. Using both my fingers and my tongue, I attacked her pussy, sucking in her clit and thrumming it as I tapped on her G spot and blew on her mons to create any type of vibration to stimulate her further. She let go with a vengeance, screaming and thrashing, and squirting out copious amounts of her juices on my hand and fingers. She was having pulsating contractions all up inside her, as she forced out all that she could. When I moved up over her, and tried to mount her, she tried, at first, to push me away. She then realized that I wanted to be inside her, and she pulled me back to her and gasped as I plunged into her, as deeply as I could, in a single thrust. She came again soon after, as did I. She was crying, and charged with emotional energy when we just lay there afterwards. I was on top, and both of her arms were squeezing me tightly to her. She was shaking for some reason, and I was starting to get worried that I'd done too much, or taken her past some limit that she had. Each time I tried to get off of her though, she just tightened her hold on me and brought me back. We stayed locked like that for another ten minutes or so. In increments, she slowed down her shaking and shuddering, until finally, she sighed and released her hold on me altogether. I carefully lifted up and rolled off of her. "Now we have to shower all over again." When she said it, I laughed. "At least this time, we'll know better than to get each other worked up again. If I don't get something to eat, Donna, I'm going to turn into a cannibal." "You already are. That was so embarrassing to me at first, but then I just stopped caring any more. I had no idea, Jimmy. I've heard people talking about guys doing that to girls, and I've been asked lots of times about doing it to a guy, but I wouldn't ever do it. I'd do it with you though. If you do it to me, that's only fair. I couldn't take too much of that though, what you did to me. It's just too much." "But, you did like it, once you relaxed, right?" "Do you even have to ask me? That was incredible. It was too much all at once. I almost had to crawl right out of my skin from it all." "Let's get a quick rinse and go eat something. I could use a thick steak and some fries." "I'd like some shrimp if they have it. Maybe some spaghetti if they don't have any shrimp. And a dessert. I hope they have chocolate cake, that's my favorite." We rinsed off and got dressed. It took us awhile to find a restaurant that featured steaks and had shrimp, but we found one and had a great dinner. After we ate, we went back to the room, but all we did was cuddle and talk some more on the bed. At eight, we checked out of the room and I drove Donna home. I drove her right up to her house. It was an old house, very small, in a neighborhood that looked pretty rundown for Orange County. I just stopped and dropped her off without any kiss or anything. She had told me that she didn't want anyone from her neighborhood telling Danny stories before she had a chance to break up with him in person. I told her that I had classes on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday that week, and that I'd be expecting to hear from my parents sometime towards the end of the week. I gave her Tiny's phone number, and told her to call me in the evenings, after seven. She didn't have a phone at her house, and would have to use someone else's phone to call me. It went perfect. I couldn't have hoped for anything better. There's no way that she'd ever consider going back with that jerk now. You don't have to be with her every day, Jimmy, but you do need to stay in close contact. Talk to her on the phone, and take her out a couple of times a week. Treat her nice. This is pretty new to her, and it will take her some time to get used to being treated well. She can get away if she says that she is staying with a girl friend. She's done that before, when she wanted to spend some time with a boyfriend. If you head up the coast towards Santa Barbara, I know where there is a lot of money that you can find. If you found it with Donna, maybe you could share some of it with her so that she could go out and buy some new clothes? It was hidden by a man, but he died without telling anyone where it was. He had saved that money for a number of years. Nineteen thousand and change, but I've got a need for you to send some of it to two different places for me. This would save me a lot of time later too, if you would do that. Four thousand to the Red Cross in Jupiter, Florida, anonymously, and seven thousand to a small, private mission program in Los Angeles. You'll need to deliver that in person, to Paul Frenchak. I'll tell you more about that when you have the money. I was thinking more like three hundred dollars for Donna for clothes. She'd have a hard time explaining more money than that. You can spend a lot of it on her, taking her places and doing things with her. We can always get more money if you need it. Jimmy, they won't think anything is out of the ordinary with you having money. Unless you want to make something up for them, we can just keep them from wondering about it. It might be better if they open an account that you keep making deposits into, and they buy the house. I can fix it so that they never think about where they got the money from either. Your parents owned two homes in your first time through, and both of them took a lot of pride in being home owners, rather than just renters. You might not want to take that away from them. Your mother is cutting back on her smoking even on the trip out to here. She's telling your father that the smoke is making her throat sore, and that's why she isn't smoking as much. When you get to Tiny's, there's going to be a small problem. Terri told him about the money that you gave her. They are fighting about her taking it from you right now. I'd tell Tiny that it was your money, and he has no right to tell you what you can and can't do with it. Terri already wrote out the checks and took them to a mail box. He just needs to realize that it is a done deal. Maybe if you could think of some way that he could repay you with labor or something. He likes to do yard work and gardening, and your mother and father don't. Maybe you can hire him to come over on Saturdays and work the money off that way after your parents buy their house. The extra activity might help keep Tiny in shape longer too. He gets along great with both your parents too. They were good friends before, and this would give them another excuse to get together. When I got to Tiny's, he and Terri were really going at it. They both got quiet when I walked in the door. They were arguing long distance, Tiny was in the living room, and Terri was in the kitchen. I'd heard the two of them as soon as I turned the corner onto their block. "Don't stop fighting just because I'm here. All of the neighbors are dying to find out what you guys are going to say next. Hey Tiny, I guess Terri told you about the money, right?" He looked at me, ready to take his anger directly to the source of it. I held up my hand in the universal sign language for stop. "Look, what's done is done. It wasn't like it was some kind of charity I was giving you. You're going to have to work off every penny of that money. I paid you in advance just because I knew that you could use the money now. Before you're done, you'll wish that I'd paid you more." "What do you mean? What work? Terri said you gave her the money." "I did, it's a gift, but it has some strings attached to it. I knew that you wouldn't just take my money, Tiny. My mom and dad are coming, and my dad is going to need some help with the new house that they're buying. Both my parents hate yard work, and I'm going to be too busy with school and making my own money to help them with it. You seem to enjoy that sort of thing, and the house I'm looking at has over two acres of yard to take care of. I figured that you could help them out eight hours a week with their yard. On a day when you weren't working at your job. I figured that twenty five bucks a day, taken right off of your debt should cover it. We'd give you the money for anything you needed to buy to take care of the yard, like hoses and mowers and lawn fertilizer. Whatever you need. My mom loves roses too, so you'd have to put in a lot of roses, and other shrubs and flowers for her." "I can't take that kind of money from your parents for helping them with their lawn." "Tiny, you'd be taking it from me, not them. I can make a lot more than twenty five dollars a day just going around looking for things to buy and sell. Besides, I know my dad wants to buy a small fishing boat, and you and him both love fishing. He's going to need help picking out a good boat. He knows nothing about what he'd need, and you know a lot about boats. You'd be doing all of us a favor if you just accepted this deal. It isn't like you don't have the time." "I didn't know he wanted to buy a boat. How big?" "That's why he needs you to help him. How big do you think the two of you would need? Something that fits on a trailer and could be towed with a regular car." "I know where there's some good deals on some small runabouts. We wouldn't need more than a fourteen footer for the kind of fishing that we'd be doing around here. We'd need to get a Scott Atwater engine though, with the brass fittings, if we were going in the ocean and the lakes. Salt water corrodes." "I'm glad that you're already thinking of things like that. It will give you guys a head start for when they get here. I think you should tell Terri that you're sorry for yelling at her. She was only trying to look out for your best interests. Sometimes, a man doesn't appreciate all that a woman does for him. You should let her know that you do appreciate it." I left him and went into my bedroom and shut the door. I didn't learn what was said, but there wasn't any more yelling or fighting that night. The next morning, after Tiny had left for work, I got up, and Terri was warming me up a big plate of lasagna and some garlic bread. "Thank you, Jimmy, for getting Tiny calmed down last night. I wasn't going to tell him, but I was worried about how mad he'd get if he found out about it, and I hadn't already told him. I don't know how you settled him down so easily. One minute I was afraid he was going to tear the house down, and the next minute he was coming in and apologizing, and then running out to the garage to get his Field and Stream magazines. I never saw him change like that, so quick, from one minute to the next." "Terri, Tiny is a nice guy. You just need to give him a reason for things, one that makes sense to him, and allows him to feel okay about things. He was just as worried about things as you were. About the money and the bills. You can't just be worried though, you have to do something about it. Sometimes you need to just do something first, and then worry about your pride afterwards. That's what we did with Tiny. We had to find a way that his pride would be okay with taking the money, and we did." "Today, Tiny was a lot happier about things. I think it's also that your father is coming out here. Tiny doesn't have many friends you know. Is your father really going to buy a fishing boat? Also, how is he going to afford to buy a house with such a big lot? I know that the Navy doesn't pay beans to it's enlisted men, that's why I made Tiny get out." "My father is secretly wealthy. He just stays in the Navy because he likes boats and free chow. I can't tell you more about it, but I'll just bet you that things improve for you and Tiny after my parents get out here. You know how bossy my father is? He'll have Tiny working full time somewhere before you know it. Tiny listens to him too, not like you and I. You'll see. It's going to be better real soon." "It already is better. I slept good last night for the first time in a month. Just knowing that I don't have to worry about losing the house, or getting my electric turned off. I can't begin to explain it, but it sure makes a difference." All the time that she was talking, I was digging in to her lasagna. It was different from my mother's, more cheesy, and I liked the sauce on Terri's lasagna better. I wouldn't tell my mom that though. "I've got my classes starting tomorrow, and I've got to go get my books, and make sure that I'm ready. If my mom or dad calls, ask them when they expect to arrive here. I might go somewhere this week end if they won't get here by then. Tell my dad to hurry up though, because I've found him a good deal on a house and I don't want him to miss out on it." Jimmy, I can make sure that the house stays on the market if you'd like that? Actually, I already know that the house won't sell for another month. I'll just watch to make sure that that doesn't change. By the way, Donna is going to be filling in today at the drive in starting at noon. If you go get your books right away, you can still have time to go over there and be her first customer today. She's only working for two hours today. I think if it is with you, she'd just about like to do anything. I'm beginning to think that we might have a problem, that she might get too attached to you. We need to set up just the right mix here. Make her happy, but not so happy that she doesn't fall for Mr. Wonderful when the time comes. Jimmy, that can't happen. For a thousand good reasons. Donna's life is mapped out for her. It will be a happy life now, for the most part. She will have three children, and a husband who will adore her. All that you can ever be for her is a pleasant interlude. That's all that she can be for you too. Anything else, would turn out worse for both of you. Jimmy, I don't need to do that. Donna is fated to find her happiness in this one, unique path. There aren't any other paths where she is so fulfilled. Your paths will diverge soon. Make this time together good for both of you. Jimmy, to this point in your life last time, you were still a virgin, your relationship with your parents was practically severed, and you were looking around for some way to make enough money so that you could continue eating. Today, in this lifetime, you've enjoyed intimacies with two attractive women, you have money in your pocket now, and much more that's going to be coming. You and your parents are on good terms, and you've already interceded on behalf of one of your father's best friends. I'd say that all of that represents an improvement over the last time. I wish that you'd just enjoy where you are right now, and trust the future to the future. We are going to fix that, don't worry. It will seem like a smooth transition to her, a natural progression of her life. One day she'll be happy to be with you, and the next, with Mr. Wonderful. No, Jimmy. It isn't in your nature. You'll be pissing and moaning, and complaining about how I'm taking advantage of you. There's this other girl. I hesitate to even bring it up right now, but it could be similar to what you now have with Donna. She could serve as your transition. Let me shoot you and image of her, all right? Yes, this time you do. Do you want to see what she looks like or not? This would be for a much longer term. A year. Yes. In fifty three years, yes. My senses were immediately filled with this girl. It was a four dimensional projection. I could smell her as she moved all around me. I heard her voice and I could see all of her little mannerisms. She only looked about sixteen years old. She wasn't beautiful, but there was something about her. She had a kind of spirit, a joyful spirit about her. I was interested immediately. As quickly as she appeared, she disappeared. Her name is Constance Warring. She's seventeen years old, and is going to be a senior at Fullerton high school this year. She is a virgin right now, and I'd want her to stay that way for the entire year. With her current path, she won't stay a virgin. The consequences of that will cause her great friction in her marriage. This is an elective offering that I would present to you. You would shepherd her through her senior year, right up until she leaves for college. Well, there's the rub. That's why I'm only suggesting it to you. There would be the usual kissing and petting, just no penetration, not with your fingers, penis, or with any other object. I thought, given your stated penchant for oral sex, that this might be a challenge that you could accept and enjoy. A lightning bolt would rain down from the heavens, and the two of you would be turned to ashes. No, not really. What would really happen is that Connie wouldn't be saved from having to constantly be berated for her lurid past. Nothing good would have been realized from your intervention. It's you who says it doesn't matter that much. It will matter a lot to Connie's happiness if she doesn't have anything to confess on her wedding night this time. It was just a thought, never mind. Part of what I'm doing, since I have to be here with you all of the time anyway, is looking for ways to make other people's paths a little bit smoother too. If it happens to save me some work, well, so much the better. That's right, Jimmy, I had forgotten just how flexible your moral code is. You are telling me that you could be with Connie, her confidant, and loyal boyfriend, as long as you could sneak away, every once in awhile, and get your ashes hauled? Do I have that right? I just wouldn't care to be a party to it. It seems to be, ethically speaking, somewhat sordid. If I'm you're pimp, Jimmy, what does that make you? A whore. That is acceptable to me too. Just remember that what happens to Connie on her current path isn't very pleasant. I could show you, perhaps that might help you to decide. I got in my car and drove off. Somehow, I couldn't shake that image of Connie from my head. I figured that the voice was responsible, but I enjoyed the image, and couldn't see any harm in it. I finished buying my books and supplies and made it down to Huntington Beach right before noon. Donna was happy to see me. I stayed there for the whole two hours. The place wasn't busy. Donna had two small accidents. Once she tipped over a drink, and the other time she spilled a whole order. Roller skating wasn't her thing. When I asked her if she wanted to go with me and look at some properties, she instantly agreed. As soon as the other girl came in and relieved her, I had her get out of her skates. We left the drive in as soon as she was ready, but then we went out to a diner, where I got her something to eat. Even with Donna, I found myself thinking of Connie. It was funny, because Donna was at least as good looking as Connie, and most people would say better looking. Connie just had something, just like Carolyn had had, something that appealed to me. I finally just cut short the property search, and Donna and I drove down to the pier at Newport Beach, and we walked around. We did some kissing and hand holding, and I told her about wanting to spend the weekend driving up the coast with her if she could just get away. She promised that she would try. I told her that I'd like to get her into another motel room where we'd have some privacy. I also mentioned that if my parents came in early, I wouldn't be able to go. "Jimmy, does this mean that I'm your girlfriend now? I didn't want to tell people about us until I was sure." "It means that to me, Donna. I hope you think of me as your boyfriend?" "I just wanted to be sure, that's all. Sometimes guys like you for only one thing, and they don't want to be tied down to one girl." "I like having you for a girlfriend. I don't feel tied down at all. I'm here with you right now, because that's where I want to be." "I'm glad. This is so different than with Danny. He never told me that he wanted just to be with me." "I'm not Danny. I think you're beautiful and special, and I love being with you and having you here with me." "I hope we can go away this weekend. Do you mean far up the coast or like where we went over by Marineland?" "I thought maybe Santa Barbara. They say it's nice up there, and it should be a nice drive for us. We don't want to just spend the whole weekend in bed, not doing anything else." "I wouldn't mind that." "We can do both though, and have a better time that way too. I hope it works out that we can go too." I drove her home and dropped her off in front of her house. Just like before, we didn't kiss or anything. I told her to call me the next night, and I might know whether my parents were coming by the weekend or not. I was driving back to Tiny's, planning on all the things that I wanted to get done. Your parents won't get here until next Tuesday night. Your mother has convinced your father to start out on the Northern route, to go visit her sister in Minnesota. After that, they are going on to Texas, and then, Las Vegas. Your father's orders give him eleven days of travel time, and he's going to take another week of personal leave right after he signs on to his new ship. If you want me to, I can keep you posted on their location? They are in Delaware right now. Most young men wouldn't pick a Cadillac for their car. Don't you want something a little bit sportier? "I like Cadillacs, always have. Nothing rides easier for a long trip. I like comfort, not sporty.> Get what you want, it isn't going to be any problem financially. I already told you that there are hundreds of ways to get money. Tomorrow would be my first tennis class, and then I'd stop off and buy a nice used Cadillac. I wanted to have a more dependable car for the weekend trip anyway. ------- Chapter 12 By ten thirty Tuesday morning, another one of my previous life's bubbles had been burst. I had always believed, without any evidence to back up that belief, that I could have been a pretty good athlete if I had chosen to participate and practice. My tennis class was quickly disabusing me of that particular notion. We had been paired off by the instructor, and told to practice just getting the balls back over the net. My hitting partner was a young guy like myself, and not someone who looked very fit or coordinated. Even so, he was faring far better than I was. He would hit to me, and I'd swing and hit it or miss it completely. When I did make contact, who knew where the damn ball would go. Not me, obviously. I was getting pissed off, and already regretted having signed up for the class. Jimmy, would you like some assistance? Would you like me to assist you in playing better? I can help you with your hand eye coordination, and teach you instantly how to move better on the court. You are the worst player out here today. People are beginning to feel sorry for you. If you're going to continue, you really should allow me to assist you. It will make the game far more enjoyable for you. I didn't feel any different, but I started making contact with the ball near the center of my strings, and sending it back, over the net to the other guy. This continued for several minutes, then the instructor called a halt to what we were doing, and started pairing us up with different people. This time, I was paired with a boy who at least looked athletic. We started hitting balls back and forth, and he was a lot better than the last boy had been. We started really knocking it back and forth, neither of us hitting it out of bounds or into the net. I could feel that the voice had raised my skill level up several notches, in order to allow me to keep up with the other player. We went at it like that for about ten minutes, and then I was starting to get tired, making some mistakes, and hitting it out of his reach, or into the net. The whistle blew, and the instructor told us that we were finished for the day. I went inside the locker room and took a shower and changed back into my regular clothes. "Gordon, what was that all about out there?" It was the tennis instructor. He was standing right beside me before I had even noticed that he was near. "I'm sorry, coach, what do you mean?" "I mean, why did you start out acting like you had two left feet, and then start playing well enough to rally with Henderson? I don't get why you'd want to do that." "I hadn't held a racket in a long time. It took me a few minutes for it all to come back to me." "That's bullshit, but I'll let it go for now. Don't make people feel bad, like you did with the Turner kid. There's no reason why he should have to be made fun of. I'm not going to have to warn you about stuff like this again, am I?" "No, coach. I'm sorry if that's how it looked to you. I didn't mean for it to be like that." "I'll be watching you, Gordon. This isn't one of those classes where you get an "A" just for attending. I will expect to see you out there working hard every week. Are you thinking about going out for the team in the Spring?" "The tennis team?" No, the bowling team. Of course, the tennis team." "No, coach." "I'll be watching you, Gordon." He turned and left. You're welcome. I would think you'd prefer to be thought a bad sport, rather than a physical incompetent. Actually, he's hoping to change your mind about competing for him. I could. I happen to know a lot about what a car is going to do in the future. That Chevy of yours, I'd advise you to trade it in soon. It's going to need a new set of rings before long. You never asked for my advice. I got in the Chevy and drove down to Renick Cadillac, over on Euclid. I'd bought several Cadillacs there during my first time through. I walked around the lot, looking at their late model trade ins, but nothing caught my eye. I had just about decided to try somewhere else, when a older guy came out and greeted me. He gave me a card, and asked me what I was interested in. I told him that I didn't see anything on the lot that I liked, and he asked me how much I was able to spend. "I'm looking for something a year or two old, almost new looking, with low miles. Do you have something like that?" "Have you thought about a demo car? We have a couple that we can give you a good price on. Do you mind if I take a look at your trade in?" "No, go right ahead. Can we see those demos afterwards?" The guy walked all around my car, actually kicked one of my tires and asked me questions about my car, like I was trying to sell it to him or something. He had me open the trunk and he got inside the front and back seats and looked under the hood. I told him the truth, including the fact that I had purchased it only a week before. He asked me what I'd paid for it, and I told him three fifty. He seemed pretty satisfied, and took me into the showroom and got himself a set of keys, and motioned me to go with him out to the service area. He walked up to a green Caddy and opened the driver's door and motioned me inside. I got in and sat down. This car looked new, it had less than three thousand miles on the odometer, and I really liked how comfortable the seat was. "Want to drive it?" "Sure." He walked around and got in on the passenger side. "Start her up and let's take her out." I started the car, and the engine purred. It was a real engine, and I could sense the power. Nice, it's his car. He's the owner. He came out because the two other salesman he has working the floor right now didn't want to be bothered talking to a young kid like you. He wants to teach them a lesson and sell you this car. He'll take $2,800 plus your Chevy in trade. I think that's very reasonable. I was out on Orangethorpe Ave, heading towards Buena Park. The car ran perfectly. "Do you like this big car, son?" "Yes, sir, you can't beat a Cadillac for a smooth, comfortable ride. I'd sure like to own it if we can come to terms." "I'm reasonable son, just make me an offer." "How about my Chevy and $2,800.00 to boot. Does that sound about right, Mr. Renick?" He laughed. A deep, throaty laugh. "You one of them mind readers that they show on the television? That's just about what I was figuring to get from you. How did you know who I was? It wasn't on that card that I gave you." "I just figured that, as young as I look, the other salesman would have just ignored me. An owner would know not to judge a customer before first qualifying him. So, are we going to do some business?" "How would you like to come and work for me, son? I can teach you this business in a heartbeat." "Well, I'm a Cadillac man through and through, but I buy them, not sell them." "How many Cadillacs have you bought, son? "This will be my first." "Yes it will." He put his hand out and we shook on the deal. "How do you want to handle the payment, Mr. Gordon?" "I was hoping that you'd take cash." "Well, you're in luck then, because we certainly do. Welcome to the Renick Cadillac family. If that car gives you any trouble at all, you just bring it in to me, and I'll make sure that we take good care of you. A man that's already starting to buy Cadillac's for cash at your age, we sure want to keep him happy." The paperwork didn't take long, and I noticed the two salesmen with pained expressions as I counted out the money for Mr. Renick. I'm not sure who was happier, him or me. We shook hands, and I left with my almost new Cadillac, and a full tank of gas. The new models would be out soon, but I was real happy with my purchase. You're very welcome, Jimmy. I think you've made a good purchase. Mr. Renick will remember you too. He was impressed with you. When I got back to Tiny's, he was all excited with some news of his own. He'd found a boat and trailer that he was really thrilled with. It was four hundred dollars, but he started telling me about how good it was and all of the extras that came with the boat. I knew nothing about boats, so when he started talking about trolling motors, boat covers and life preservers, none of it meant that much to me. "Do you think it's that good a deal Tiny?" "I know it is, Jimmy. If I only had the money, I'd buy it myself. Wouldn't even have to think twice about it." "All right, let's do it. We can surprise dad with it as soon as he gets here." I reached into my pocket and counted out the four hundred dollars. "Have you got a trailer hitch on your car, Tiny?" "No, I've never needed one before." "Do you think you can get one for fifty bucks?" "I doubt if it would be that much, Jimmy. More like twenty five or thirty, installed." I peeled off another fifty and handed it to him. "Get a hitch installed tomorrow, so you can bring our new boat home." He was a happy man as he ran inside to make a phone call to the man who was selling the boat. I could get used to this buying whatever I wanted to while I was still young enough to enjoy it all. Terri is going to resent Tiny buying a boat while her range has two burners that don't work. She's been after him to fix it for her or else get her a new stove. It is becoming a sore spot with her. "How much would a new one cost?" Less than two hundred for a real good one at Sears. I went inside while Tiny was talking on his phone. I went in the kitchen and saw the look on Terri's face. She was a little hot under the collar. She was glaring at Tiny as he talked to the boat owner. "Tiny told me that he needed to buy a new stove for you, Terri, is that right?" "He told you that?" "Who else would tell me? You never mentioned it. Come on. I want to take you for a spin in my new car. I just bought it today." "I've got to cook supper. Tiny's going to want to be fed." "Tiny, I'm taking Terri for a ride, we'll be back in an hour. You doing all right on that boat? We need to have it here, ready to launch when my dad gets here." Tiny was all smiles, as he waved at us and kept on listening to whatever the boat guy was telling him. "Terri, I want you to stop being mad at Tiny, and, instead, think about how much better things are today, than they were last week. That's all on account of Tiny. We're going to Sears, and you're going to pick out a brand new range. Get what you want, because I'm putting it on Tiny's tab. He'll be mowing grass until he's seventy years old." "Tiny said it was okay, Jimmy?" "Did you forget already what I told you this morning? Tiny will have a good explanation, one that he can accept. More importantly, you will be able to stop fretting over that damn stove. We're going to solve that little problem, and move on to the next one. How do you like my new car? Doesn't it run nice?" "I'm getting scared, Jimmy. Where's all this money coming from?" "Didn't I tell you that my father was secretly wealthy? You didn't think he wanted to see Tiny struggling when he had so much did you?" "How come we never knew about any of this before? It doesn't make any sense to me." I have, she's fine with everything now. Enough to take care of Connie for me? We got to Sears, and it took Terri less than a minute to make a bee line right over to the range that she had her heart set on. I bought it, and arranged for delivery, and a pick up of the old one after the new one had been installed. The whole thing took fifteen minutes, and the problem was solved. We drove back to Tiny's house and Terri and I went inside. Tiny was watching television when we walked in. "Tiny, come go for a spin in my new Cadillac with me." He got up off the couch and we went outside and got in the car. I drove off away from the house before I started talking to him. "We had a big problem Tiny, but I think I may have it all worked out for you. It's going to cost you though." "I'm flat busted, Jimmy. The only money that I've got is the money that you just gave me for the boat and the hitch." "You've got good credit though Tiny, with both me and my dad. Do you have any idea how bad Terri felt when she saw you so excited about that new boat when her stove's all busted and hardly working?" "I told her that I'd get it fixed as soon as we got some money. I can't do any more than that." "You already have Tiny. She picked out the stove that she wanted just a few minutes ago, and it's being delivered in a day or two." "She's going to have to return it then, because we can't afford it right now." "It's already bought and paid for, Tiny. I'm putting it on your lawn work tab. You'll just have to work it off like the other money." "I don't know about any of this, Jimmy." "My dad already said to do it this way. He doesn't want you stuck at home arguing about some stove when he wants somebody to go fishing with." "He told you to do it?" That's right, he insisted that we do it this way." "Well, if you're sure. I don't want your dad getting pissed at me." "So, you're okay with Terri's new stove? "I guess so." "Well, good, so what do you think of my new car?" "Where is all this money coming from, Jimmy?" Terri and I were talking about it earlier. It seems that you have too much money for a kid to be having." "It's my dad's money Tiny. He tells me what we can spend it on. I already told Terri that he was secretly wealthy. Now that he's shipping over for his last hitch, he's letting some of it show so that he can be ready for retirement in a few years. Do you think you're going to need to get much more for the boat Tiny? Dad told me that he wants to be ready to put the boat in the water and drop a hook in too, almost as soon as he gets here." "We're already spending a bunch on the boat and the hitch." "Well, it isn't like we're out buying frivolous things, Tiny. We've needed everything that we've bought. When are you going to have that new boat ready to go fishing? Also, make a list of what else you'll need before my dad gets here. I'd hate to tell him that we aren't ready in case he wants to go right out and catch some fish." "How much farther are you thinking on going, Jimmy? There's some things that would be handy, but they aren't, strictly, necessary to have." "Do you want to scrimp and disappoint my father, Tiny. This is something he's been looking forward to. You must have come across things in all those fishing magazines. Things that would make the fishing experience better for Dad? Why don't you make that list, and then we can go over it and see what he might want?" "I'll do it, Jimmy. You're right too, if he has that much money, he wouldn't want us to scrimp on things." "Tiny, one last thing before we go back. I told Terri that the range was your idea. I didn't want her being mad at you or thinking that the boat meant more to you than her getting her range problem solved. She's probably going to say something to you about it, and you should tell her that her happiness is important to you. You know that women like to think that we think of things like that." "Her happiness is important to me, Jimmy." "There you go then, you can tell her that with a straight face." He and I shared a laugh about that. "So, how do you like my Caddy?" "It's the nicest car I've ever ridden in." "Sometime, when you and Terri want to go out to dinner, or dancing, I'll loan it to you, and you can travel in style." We pulled up in front of his house, and Tiny and I went back inside. Terri and Tiny were both beaming at each other. I felt good about my day. Donna phoned me at seven and we spoke on the phone for half an hour. She told me that she had arranged to be away at a friend's house for the weekend, and I told her that I had heard that my parents wouldn't be in California by the weekend. We were all set for the trip up to Santa Barbara. I didn't tell her about the new car, I wanted to surprise her with it the next time I saw her. I turned in Early because I was starting my two real college courses the following day. I wanted to get off to a good start. ------- Chapter 13 I got to school early, taking special care when I parked the Caddy. My first class was Finance, and the instructor went over his expectations and passed out a schedule that told all of us when the tests were, and broke down how we would be graded for each component part of the class. We would have a term paper that would be due a week before our final. It seemed straight forward enough to me, and I wasn't expecting to have any problems. The next class was Principles of Real Estate, and it was taught by a guy who was a local real estate broker. Half of this first class was taken up by him bragging to us about all of the great and creative deals he had managed to put together during his fifteen years in the business. He handed out a one page outline of the class. I got the impression that the broker was hoping to hire several of the older students in the class, and that he was teaching mostly as a means to recruit new agents. New agents yes, and young women to take sexual advantage of. He has a penchant for seducing young girls that are impressed with his business success and earning power. He's been successful enough to keep him coming back semester after semester. You'd be surprised what women will do just to be near money. I take that back, Jimmy, you used to employ pretty much the same methods. How would you like to do me a favor, and make some money for yourself as well? You need to drive down to San Clemente and I'll lead you to the money. Once you have it, you need to drive back here and then go into Los Angeles. Remember when I mentioned giving that seven thousand dollars to Paul Frenchak? We need to move more quickly than I had planned on. We only have until six tonight to get him the money. If he doesn't get it, the mission will have to close, and some families will be out on the street again. There's quite a bit of it, but we aren't taking it all. We'll take twenty thousand, and leave the rest. As to who has the right to the money, that is somewhat more complicated. The money was stolen from a really evil man, by one of his employees. Some of it has already been spent, but, the owner won't know how much of it was spent until he locates the money, and counts it for himself, sometime tomorrow. The man who actually stole the money from him is already dead. I will be with you the whole time. There is no danger. I had already had several demonstrations of the voice's power to control my body. It made sense that he could control others as well. If he told me that it was safe, I had to believe him. There's no need to stint, in as much as this is a windfall for you, Jimmy. Give him ten thousand, and then tell him that he'll get another five thousand next month. I like the story that you've been telling Tiny and Terri, about your secretly wealthy father. Tell him that. Don't tell him your name though, or give him a way to contact you. He's always trying to expand his mission. If he can reach you, he'll bombard you with financial requests. I drove down to San Clemente. There were no freeways, so I used the coast highway. It took longer, but it was a beautiful day and my car rode like a dream. The voice led me over to a house that sat by itself on a dirt road. Go in the back, behind the house. There is a shed there where the tools are kept. In the very back, there is a tool box, and the money is in there. Each packet contains five thousand dollars, just take four of them, and leave the rest. I did what he had told me to do. When I got to the tool box, there must have been at least fifty packets neatly packed inside there. I knew a moment of greed, but I let it pass. The voice had told me to take four, and that is what I did. I shut the box back up and returned everything else to where it had been when I first came in. Tempting, wasn't it? Because he'll just hand it out to people in need, and then he'll be broke next month when people will still have a need for his help. Give him the ten thousand today. He will be happy with that much, and he really has immediate need for the money. You might ask him about buying a car so that he can take some of these people that he's been helping, over to some job interviews. I was thinking about him buying it, but you've just given me an idea. Right now, drive into Los Angeles, I'll show you where. Paul Frenchak was about fifty five or so. He was crazy. A zealot. Not a religious zealot though, he was on of those 'I am my brother's keeper' kinds of zealots. He wanted to help save everybody. Due to a lack of means, he concentrated on families with children who were destitute and homeless. He had a big, one story building that was filled up with cots and bunks. On most nights, ten or twelve families slept and ate there. During the day, he locked the doors and went out hustling for funds from whatever sources he could find. He paid rent on the building whenever he could, and had an account with several food suppliers. His fund raising methods soon wore thin with his benefactors, because whatever they gave him was never enough for his needs. Right now, he was having a big dry spell with his fund raising, and he was about to become one of the homeless himself. I found him in front of the mission, pan handling for money. "Are you Paul Frenchak?" He looked at me suspiciously. "Who are you?" "I'm a guy who was told to go see you, and to find out if you needed some help." He stood up straighter and smiled at me. "I'm Paul Frenchak, and I'm sorry about the way I sounded earlier. I've been distracted by some problems. You mentioned help? Can you give me an idea of the kind of help that you can provide me. I'm afraid I'm not in a position right now to offer you any employment." "I meant financial help. My father has heard of your program, and he heard that you might need some help." "I didn't get your name, I'm sorry." "It's Jimmy, but my dad said not to tell you our last names. He said that he didn't want you pestering him to do any more than he wanted to." "Of course. I understand. It's just that there are so many people in need of just a little assistance. Whatever he can offer will be appreciated. Did he happen to send any money with you, today? It's all right if he didn't, but, if he did, I have some pressing needs to attend to." "He did send me with some money, but I don't think this is private enough for me to give it to you. I wouldn't want to see you mugged for the money." "In this neighborhood, I can assure you that I'm as safe as if I were in a bank vault. No one here would let me come to any harm." He used his hands to point out the women and children that were sitting on the edges of the buildings foundation which stuck out about twelve inches all around. "If it's all the same to you, Mr. Frenchak, can we go sit for a moment in my car? There are some things I need to tell you, and I'd prefer that it was in private. After I leave, you are free to share this information with whoever you choose to." "Certainly. This is a nice car. Is it your father's personal automobile?" "Actually, it's mine, I just bought it yesterday." "It is a fine car, and you must be a good son for your father to purchase it for you." "I try to be." We were both seated in my car. The windows were down, but I started speaking quietly to him. "The thing is, my father gave me ten thousand dollars to give you today. He told me to tell you to get all of your debts paid, and to use the rest to further your work. He also told me that if you do a good job with this money, he's going to send me with another five thousand dollars next month. He also told me that you should think about getting a car to take some of the men that you are helping to their job interviews." Jimmy, tell him that you'll buy him the car later. "I'll actually be getting the car for you Mr. Frenchak, but it might take me awhile." "You say that you've brought me ten thousand dollars? Cash? Right here, now?" I took out two of the packets and handed them to him. His eyes lit up like he'd just seen Santa Claus or something. Come to think of it, he had. He hesitated to take the money, unsure whether I was going to place conditions on it. Or, maybe he couldn't believe that it was real. I thrust the money forward, into his hands. "Take it, that's why my father sent it with me." His fingers closed around the money, and for a minute, I was afraid he'd try to kiss me. "You don't understand what this means to these people. I can do so much with this kind of support. You tell your father thank you, a thousand thank yous. Tell him that I'm not spending a penny of his money on myself either." Tell him that your father wants him to take better care of himself and to eat and sleep better than he has been. Tell him if he gets sick, there won't be any more money. "Mr. Frenchak, my father told me that you have to eat better, and make sure that you get more rest. He told me to tell you that if you get sick, his support will stop." "I really don't want to seem ungracious or unappreciative, Jimmy, but, if it's all right with you, I really need to take care of some things that your father's money has made possible. If you'll please excuse me?" "Sure, you do what needs doing. Remember what I told you about taking care of yourself though. I'll be back later with a car for you." He got out and, after a few seconds, I started my car and drove off. Yes, and many more besides. He does it out of a sense of guilt, as atonement for his own daughter who ended up down here with her two children. He was once a wealthy man, but he's spent it all helping people, while he searches for his daughter and grandchildren. I'm afraid not, Jimmy. It's better for him that he still has that hope though. It is the only thing that keeps him going. They've been dead for nine years now. There isn't anything that I can do. He's more content right now than he's ever been. He's found something that he can be proud of doing. I know that. It isn't necessary though. The way that you've been going through money, you'll need all of that and more. Why don't we go pay Mr. Renick another visit, Jimmy, and see what kind of a deal you can make for Paul Frenchak's new car. I drove back to Fullerton, and as soon as I was parked at the curb with my car, I saw Mr. Renick walking towards me. He looked concerned. "Anything wrong with that car Mr. Gordon? We'll fix it right up for you if there is." "No sir, these Cadillac's are too nice to cause any trouble. I came back to see you to find out if you can help me out with something. There's this man in Los Angeles, he runs a private mission for some families that are down on their luck. I wanted to help him out with a good transportation car so that he could take the father's around to look for work for themselves. I was hoping that you had a fair trade in that you could sell me at a reasonable price." "Is this mission a recognized charity? Does it have a name?" "No, its just this one man who tries to help people, and he's run through all of his own savings. My dad tries to help him out when he can." "Let's take a look and see what we have. I'll sell you anything on my used lot for my cost. Would that be fair?" "You don't have to do that. We can afford to pay you a fair profit too." "I want to help. This is something that might make a difference to some people, maybe help them get another start. I like it." We found a Pontiac that looked pretty good. Mr. Renick called one of his mechanics over to take it out and make sure that everything was working all right. We settled on the car, and went inside to write it up. The voice provided me with the address and the correct spelling for Paul's Frenchak's name. I told Mr. Renick that I'd like him to have it delivered to that address, and that I'd pay the expense. He refused to take any more money, claimed that delivery was included by the dealership whenever it was required. He said that the car would be delivered the next day, in the morning. I took a chance and told Mr. Renick that his men should leave the car parked outside the mission if Mr. Frenchak wasn't available. I told him that he could leave the keys and the paperwork with any of the women sitting on the building's foundation. He looked at me funny, but said that he'd instruct the delivery men to do that. I went over to Tiny's. When I got there, he had the boat parked in the driveway on it's trailer, and he had all kinds of other things on the driveway too. It was a boat, white in color, and it looked about fifteen feet long. There was a big outboard motor in the back, and Tiny had two other, smaller motors, laid out on some tarp. The boat had a canvas cover that was fitted over the top. "This the new boat, Tiny?" "Oh yeah. She's a beauty, don't you think? Look at all this other stuff the guy threw in. Three five gallon gas jerry cans. a hand gas pump. Look at this, a bamboo and steel gaff. We could go fishing right now if we wanted to." I wasn't a fisherman, had no interest in it. My father though, he was a rabid fisherman. Unfortunately, like Tiny, he fished mostly by reading Field & Stream, and watching pictures of other people's catches. "Did you make me that list yet? Of all the things that you and he might need?" "I jotted down a couple of things, but, remember now, these aren't absolutely necessary to have." He handed me a folded sheet of paper, and there were about thirty items, most of it having to do with new reels and rods. Beside each item, there was a figure that I assumed represented the items cost. It all came to three hundred and seventy dollars. "Damn, Tiny. Are you sure about this? I don't see any tackle on here. Don't you need line, hooks, sinkers and lures? I told you that we had better not stint on this. You know how he gets when he doesn't have exactly what he needs?" Tiny had once held the job of being my father's photo equipment man. He had to have cases and cases of things that my father might need when he was out shooting a movie. If he told you to pack something, and you didn't, if he actually needed it, you got a severe ass chewing. I could see by Tiny's face that he remembered several such ass chewing's. "I'm not done yet, Jimmy. I just thought that you wanted to see what I'd come up with so far. That's all." "Okay, I misunderstood you. I thought you'd only done half the job or something. Here's five hundred dollars, I want you to buy all of the stuff on this list, and if you think of anything else while you're gone, get that too." This was fun. Tiny was thrilled at being able to run wild with this. He took the money and said something about getting right on it. "Tiny have you been working on this all day?" He nodded to me, somewhat sheepishly. "You take twenty five dollars out of that money that I gave you, and you give it to Terri. My dad said to pay you if you had to spend a lot of time on getting this done for him." "What about all that other money that you gave us?" "Jesus, Tiny, I hope you don't expect me to keep a whole lot of different accounts all in my head. If it's all the same to you, this way is just easier for me, and I don't want my dad to yell at me for going against what he said to do. You better get going on buying that stuff if you're going to be back in time for supper. On second thought, I'll pay your money to Terri. You might need that other in case you see something good." Tiny got into his car and drove away, happily. I went inside the house. "Terri, where are you?" "In the kitchen Jimmy. What do you need?" I walked into the kitchen. Something sure smelled good. "What's for supper? "Baked red snapper, stuffed with my special shrimp stuffing. It's Tiny's favorite dish in the whole world. I thought he might like something special from my new range." That's when I noticed that she had her new range all installed. It looked good, and I sure hope everything on it worked. "Well I hope you made enough for me too, because it smells good, and I'm hungry." "We've got plenty. There will even be leftovers for Tiny's lunch tomorrow. How were your classes?" "Not bad. The real estate instructor is a real wind bag, but the course itself sounds interesting. Tiny went over to the sporting goods store to pick up some fishing things for my father. My dad wants to pay Tiny for all the time that he's spending getting all of this fishing stuff together for them. I already told Tiny that I was going to give you the money. You know how Tiny is. If I tried to give him the money, he'd either refuse to take it, or else spend it on fishing stuff for my dad. That's why I'm going to be giving it to you. I'm going to pay you now for four days. I'll keep track, and when that runs out, I'll give you some more." "Jimmy, what about the money that we already owe you?" "Tiny said the same thing, but that was lawn care money. This is fishing boat and tackle money. They're different. If we tried to lump them all together, at least one of us would get confused and then there would be hard feelings on someone's part. My way is better, you'll see." I handed her five twenties. She took it, but with some uncertainty and hesitation. "Would you rather I give Tiny the money?" She put the money in her apron pocket. "Don't be silly. You know how Tiny is with money. Dinner will be ready in less than an hour. Would you like some nice lemonade? I just picked the lemons from the tree out back. Do you think Tiny will be back from the store in time for dinner?" "He should be, unless he gets all caught up in that fishing stuff. I want to eat when it's ready though. If Tiny is late, he can just make do with a warmed up dinner." Terri just smiled her agreement. We had finished eating by more than an hour before Tiny walked in the house with a sheepish look on his face. "Tiny, we already ate without you. If you say that your sorry, I'm sure Terri will forgive you, and heat you up a plate. I hope that it's still good warmed over. It was perfect when it was served just when it was ready." Terri had a big smile on her face when she went in and heated Tiny a plate of leftovers inside her new oven. Tiny seemed to like it a lot, and she heated him a second plate after he demolished the first one. We kept him company while he wolfed his food down. "Terri, do you like to go fishing? I never did ask Tiny whether you did or not." "I love fishing, Jimmy. But, you'd never have gotten that fact from Tiny. He and I have never been fishing together. Not in all the years that I've known him." "You like to fish? You should have told me. We could go down off the rocks and fish at night. I never thought you'd want to do that, or I'd have suggested it." "Tiny, why don't you go get some stuff ready, and after Terri and I finish cleaning up in here, the two of you can go out and try to catch tomorrow's dinner." "Would you want to Terri, because I sure would? All this buying of the fishing stuff has got me just itching to go fishing. It will be fun. I know where we can go to buy some worms too." "I don't need to buy any worms, Tiny. I can go out back and dig up more than we'd need in five minutes. We don't have to waste our money for any worms." "Well, get on it. I'll clean up after myself and then go get a couple of those new spinning outfits that I just bought. We should try them out before Jack gets here anyway, in case they aren't any good, and then I can go exchange them for something else." Within fifteen minutes, the two of them had departed. I stayed home and spent some time going over my Finance class text. Donna didn't call, and I'd been half expecting her to. Jimmy, Danny the jerk, was released from jail today. His father bailed him out after the judge reduced his bail. He and Donna got in a big argument, and he's been threatening her if she won't do what he wants. I suppose I could, but, I wanted her to see exactly how he feels about her first. I think that I can set up a raid on his house tonight, one where the police will find some of the pills that he has stashed away. I'll take care of it. I didn't want you to worry about her not calling. Right now, she's in her bedroom and her parents won't let Danny in, if he tries to see her again. You could drive over there and tell her that you were worried about her when she didn't phone you. I'm sure that she would like to know that you care that much. Remember your tennis performance? I can change your boxing skills the same way, if the need arose. I went outside, after locking up the house, and drove over to Donna's house. Her mother answered the door. I asked for Donna. When her mother asked me who I was, I told her that I was Donna's new boyfriend. She pointed out at my car, that was parked in the street. "Is that your car, or your father's?" She said it a little snotty too. I'd never met the woman before in my life. "It's mine. Is this your house, or your mommy's?" She looked at me, and then she just cracked up. "Donna Jean, you're new sugar daddy is here." Donna's father came out in the entry way to see why his wife was laughing. His wife told him what she'd asked me, and how I'd answered her. He started laughing as well. At least they both had a sense of humor. Donna came out of her room, and she was very surprised to see me. "Jimmy, I wasn't expecting you tonight. Is everything all right?" It's fine. I was worried when you didn't call me. I was afraid something might have happened to you." Donna's mom spoke up again. "How come you never told us about this rich boy Donna Jean? We wouldn't have been so worried about you with Danny if we knew that you had already found a replacement for him." I knew that Donna lived at her house with only her mom and dad. She had a married brother and a sister who was living with a married man over in Santa Ana. Donna's father worked for the city of Huntington Beach on a road repair crew. He drank quite a bit, and her mother liked to drink a lot as well. "You want to take a ride in my new car Donna? I just bought it yesterday." "You bought another car already? You didn't have that other one very long." "With such a good looking girlfriend, I didn't want her ashamed of the car that I was driving." "I'm not like that, Jimmy. Your old car was good enough for me." "Not in my opinion. That's why I got one that was." Donna's mom spoke up again. "If your such a rich kid, how come you didn't spring for some candy or some flowers?" "How about I give you ten bucks, and you and your husband go out and buy yourselves something to drink instead?" "Okay." She laughed and stuck her hand out. I pulled out my wad of bills and pretended to look for a ten dollar bill... "Here's twenty, I don't have any change." She took the money and moved away from me before I could change my mind, or in case I was only teasing. I knew that I couldn't get that money back without wrestling her for it. Not that I wanted it back. I reached out and grabbed Donna's hand and pulled her to me. "Come on, let's go. I'll buy us some root beer floats." "Danny's home. It might not be safe. He's pretty mad after what I told him about not being his girl anymore." "If I see him, I'll kick his ass up until he's a hunch back. I never did like hearing how he treated you." Her father smiled. "I like this one a lot better than the other asshole." He took a big swig of his beer, and went back in the living room. Donna and I went out and I opened the car door for her, and then went around and got in on the driver's side. She ran her hand all over my upholstery, and over the dash board too. "This car is so nice, Jimmy. How much did it cost you?" "$2,800.00 and my old Chevy. It only has three thousand miles. It was the demo car for the guy who owns the dealership that I bought it from. Do you like it?" "It's so pretty. If you really were thinking about me, thank you for buying it. Just you saying that made me feel very good, and special, like you said before. You shouldn't have done that with your money, with my mother. Now, she'll be hitting you up for money every time you see her." I drove us over to the A&W, and we did get two large root beer floats. We sat there drinking them and talking about the week end. I told her that I was going to pick her up Friday in the early afternoon, at her house, and for her to pack her overnight case. I told her not to worry about what her mother or father would say. She looked at me, afraid that I was going to ruin it for her, and that now she wouldn't be allowed to go on the trip with me. I drove her back home and walked her to the door. "I need to come in Donna, and talk to both of your parents." She looked resigned to the whole thing, and looked like she fully expected the worst. She led me into the living room. "Did you come to give me more money rich boy?" "No, I came in to make sure that you and your husband were okay with Donna and I spending the weekend together up in Santa Barbara." "Donna Jean, you told us you were spending the weekend with Vicky." "I told Donna already that I didn't like to sneak around like we were doing anything wrong." Her father spoke up then. "Are you already screwing her then?" "Certainly." "Let it go then Clara. At least this one doesn't think he's getting away with something. Young fella, I can live with you and her screwing, because I know you aren't the first. I hope you treat her better than that other asshole that she went with. Don't hurt her, unless you're ready to answer for it to me." "You're just going to give him our permission? For nothing? He's a rich kid, he should have to pay something for his slumming." "My daughter's no Goddamn whore, Clara. You just shut the fuck up now, or you'll be feeling the back of my hand." "Thank you, I couldn't have said it better to her myself." "You just treat my little girl right, that's all I'm asking. Just treat her right." I took Donna back out to the entry way and we shared a couple very soft kisses. "I'll see you Friday, right after noon. You be ready because we're going to have a real good time." "I'll be ready, Jimmy. Thanks for showing me your new car." ------- Chapter 14 Tiny had already left for work when I got up on Thursday morning. When I'd gone to bed, at eleven, Terri and Tiny still hadn't gotten back from fishing off the rocks. I got up and cleaned myself, putting on fresh clothes. I tried to put my dirty clothes in my laundry bag, but it was missing. I went out in the kitchen and Terri was putting the finishing touches on a big plate of eggs and bacon, with buttered toast. "Terri, did you see my laundry bag anywhere?" "I'm doing your wash now, Jimmy. It will all be ready for you when you come home tonight." "You don't need to be doing my laundry, Terri, that's not right." "Jimmy. I know how much you've been doing for us. I really want to try to pay you back, at least a little bit. Let me do the things that I can to show how much we appreciate your help." I didn't know what to say to her, so I said nothing. "I caught the two biggest fish last night. We didn't get home until after one. Tiny didn't want to leave until after he caught at least one as big as my two. We had a lot of fun, thank you for that too, Jimmy. Tiny and I talked together more last night than, well, ever since I can remember. He really does like to fish." "Well, it's a good thing that the two of you found something else that you can both do together." "You mean besides argue over money?" "Something that you both enjoy. Money isn't the best reason to be arguing. My parents argue all of the time. I think that they both must like it, they sure do enough of it." "It usually happens because both people see things differently. It's hard for me to see things the same way that Tiny sees them. His father was a bully, he told me that last night. I'd never known that before, because his father was very sick, and died soon after Tiny and I got together. Tiny thinks that that's part of the reason that he doesn't stand up for himself more than he does, because he doesn't want to be seen as bullying people." "My dad can be a bully sometimes, but, he'll do anything for a friend. People who just meet him for the first time, they don't see that part of him, the loyal friend part. My mother pointed that out to me, right before I flew out here. After she mentioned it, I could see that she was right about him. Plus, she told me that he's hardest on himself, and I can see that now too." "I think your dad is a big softie. He never once ever said a mean word to me." "Probably because he was hoping to get in your panties." "Jimmy, that's a terrible thing for you to say. Your dad is a big flirt though. I can see that it drives your mother crazy too. If Tiny was like that, I'd bounce a frying pan off of his head. I've always liked both of your parents. I'm so glad that they're coming out here. Tiny wanted me to ask you if you thought that he and I should take the boat out this weekend, to make sure that everything is okay before your dad gets out here? He just wants to go fishing in it, but so do I, can we?" "Sure. That's a good idea, take it out for a test run. I sure have no objections." "What are you doing today? You always seem to have so much to do, everyday." "Today, I'm heading out towards Riverside or Chino. I want to look at what's been happening out there. I might go over to Huntington Beach later to take my girlfriend out to dinner." "You have a girlfriend already?" "I do. Her name is Donna, and she's a nice girl. I'll probably bring her by soon so that she can meet you and Tiny." "You give me some advance warning, I'd like to meet her, and I'm sure Tiny would too, I'll make a nice dinner and we can sit down and get to know her after." "Oh, I already know her." "You know what I meant." I got up and put my empty plate in the sink, and rinsed the egg yolk off of it. I went and got my keys and wallet and went out the front door, waving goodbye to Terri as I left. I wanted to go over to the college to pick up a couple of the required reading books for Finance. Jimmy, have you thought about Connie any more? I'd like you to meet her today, just for a few minutes, so that you'll have a better idea of how she really is. I said meet her. You could talk to her a little, just so the ice is broken between you two in case you do decide to help her later. Suppose I gave you permission to have intercourse with her? I've been thinking, and, perhaps, a single indiscretion wouldn't be too much for her to confess to. It wouldn't be as bad as what happened the last time. It would be a lot easier if I showed you, Jimmy. It wasn't her fault. He got her drunk and then they all took advantage. It was only that one time. Will you meet her? The more time that passes, the harder it will be for me to prevent the rest of it from happening if you decide to not do it. I cringe sometimes at your ignorance. If you haven't decided whether you'll do it or not, how can I see if you did? For the next period of time, the whole thing played out in my mind. It was a party, and someone had spiked the punch. Several girls were taken advantage of, to one degree or another, but it was Connie's date who kept her at the party after the others had left, and shared her with four other boys. For the most part, Connie was passed out through the entire ordeal. It was after the party, in school, when the boys all bragged about what they had done to her. She knew that she had been violated, but remembered nothing about the specifics. As the story got told, it got bigger, and they made it seem like Connie had been an active and willing participant. She decided not to tell her husband the story, years later, until the night of their wedding. A big mistake. He took it poorly, throwing it back in her face for many years after. I doubt the whole display took more than a few seconds, but it was like watching a two hour movie. Jimmy, there are times when I wonder how you managed to screw up your other life so badly. You have an inherent goodness, and a high degree of empathy for others. The voice told me where to go so that I could "accidently" run into Connie. When I had parked, and gone into the hardware store where she was working for the summer, I recognized her right away. It was an Uncle's store, and she was minding the cash register for him. She wasn't any beauty. Clean cut is pretty much how I'd describe her. She was about five four or five, had shoulder length brown hair and breasts that seemed about right for her height and body build. Her figure was decent, but not exceptional for a seventeen year old. Still, there was that spirit, or charisma, whatever you call it, that drew people to her. You just wanted to get to know her. I can't explain it. Some people have it, some more than others. Connie had a lot more than her fair share. I don't know if what she had worked on everyone, but it sure worked on me. I hadn't even said hello yet, but I was already smitten with her. You see it too, Jimmy. Isn't she something? In some ways, I consider her life to be my biggest failure. You already sensed that she was important to me, now you know why. I know, Jimmy. I'd like her to stay pure, at least mostly pure, until her marriage. After her rape, she never let anyone else be intimate with her until her wedding night. Because of her husband's negative reaction, she never enjoyed sex the way that she should have. In spite of all of these negatives, she still led a life that brought joy and happiness to many. Too many to permit making sweeping changes in her path. Interfering even this much isn't without it's risks. It is indulgent of me to even attempt this much. I hope it isn't something to regret. I had been browsing in the aisle that held bathroom fixtures. I had no idea about what I should pick up to take to the register so that I could meet her. I finally found a little black washer, made out of rubber or plastic or something. I was only nine cents, so I couldn't go too far wrong with my pick. I took it up to the register and stood behind a man who was buying a big sink. I smiled at her the whole time she rang up his sale. After he left, I moved up a little bit, continuing to smile. "Can I help you?" I recognized her voice right away, from both of the tapes that the voice had played for me. "Is there something that you need?" "I'm sorry. Yes, I want to buy this." I opened my hand and showed her the washer. She rang up the sale and I passed her the dime. When our hands touched, as I handed her the coin, I felt a tiny shiver run all the way down to my toes. It could have been static shock I guess, but I definitely felt something. "Is it too early in our relationship for me to tell you that I love you?" She laughed. Her laughter, being able to make her laugh, made me feel very good. "I guess that depends. Do you mean it, or are you just trying to get a discount on your purchase?" "How much of a discount are we talking?" "Could be as much as a penny." "I think I meant it then. If it had been for something like a nickel, well what's a man to do?" "What kind of accent is that?" "What accent? I don't have any accent." "You aren't from around here, I can tell." "I live in Westminster right now, but I'll be moving here now so that I can be closer to you." "You'd move to this tiny burg just to be nearer to me?" "Well, Westminster's even smaller. I'd be moving up in the world. I came here from Washington, D.C." "You sound like you're from the South. I thought Virginia, maybe." "Close, real close. You have a good ear for regional dialects." "Are you in high school, or college?" "College, a freshman. How about you?" "High school, a senior." "Do you date?" "Sometimes, but not with boys that I met in this store." "I'm crushed. Where can I go to meet you again, at a place where you do date guys from?" "That's for me to know, and for you to try and find out." "I will too. You wait and see if I don't find you someday. You'll have to give me a kiss as a forfeit when I do." "You seem pretty confident for a guy who only buys a nine cent item." "I'll happily buy a nine cent item to meet a million dollar girl. I didn't even need the washer. I just bought it to have an excuse to talk to you." I put the washer back on the counter, and walked out of the store. I'd met her, that was all I could do for now. I knew that the voice still wanted me to take care of Donna for the next month or two. A very good first impression, Jimmy. She thinks you're cute and she loved your witty repartee. I was getting into my car. She really likes your car, Jimmy, she thinks it's snazzy. I was going to go over to Riverside, but decided to go see Donna instead. I took her to a motel by Newport and we made love all afternoon and into the early evening. I didn't feel guilty about anything. It was Donna that I wanted right then. Both of us had a great time. We left the room, to get something to eat, and to buy Donna a new swim suit. She picked out one that was very conservative, but I made her buy one that was more daring, telling her that I wanted that one just so I could enjoy taking it off of her. This time, when I went down on her, she didn't offer any resistance at all. We also tried it from behind, doggy style, something else that she said she'd never done. She liked that as well, but confessed that being eaten was her favorite sexual thing. We tried it finally in the female superior position, and Donna found herself a new favorite. The circles that she traveled in, the men weren't very adventurous. They only wanted their own gratification. Oral sex wasn't as common as it later becomes. In this, you're ahead of your time. Another thing was that people didn't discuss sex as universally as they did later. The popular culture wasn't as filled with information as it later became. One last thing, Jimmy, a lot of girls tell boys that things are brand new to them when that might not actually be the case. I thought I heard a laugh from the voice, but I wasn't sure. ------- Chapter 15 Friday morning, I hurried off to my classes. There was some excitement in our real estate class after the instructor announced that he'd be hiring two part time assistants, from within the class, to help him with a new housing development project that he was working on. Not surprisingly, we learned the following Monday, that the two prettiest girls in the class had been selected to fill those positions. These selections were supposedly based on the one paragraph essay that each interested applicant had to write and hand in prior to the end of class on Friday. I was amazed that no one else seemed to catch on to what he was doing. I hadn't entered myself as an applicant, so it didn't affect me in any way, other than to be amused by his blatantly obvious technique. As soon as the class ended, I went out to my car and drove right over to Donna's house. She was ready by the time that I got there, but I still had to endure several minutes of conversation with her mother before we could get out of there. "You rich boys all think that you can get away with anything. You better not get her knocked up. I should make you give me some money though, just in case." "Why do you spew that garbage out at me? What did I ever do that gives you the right to say these things to me?" "I've got the right to look out for Donna Jean's interests, I'm her mother. Just because she doesn't bother to think about her future, that doesn't mean that nobody should." "Well, she won't have anything bad happen to her while she's out with me." "If it was up to me, she wouldn't be going with you today." "Donna, are you ready? I can't take much more of listening to your mother." "I'm ready, let's go. Bye mom. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. We're just going to have a real good time. I'll tell you all about it when I get back." We went out and I put her bag in the trunk of my car. Soon, we were out on the highway, driving towards Los Angeles. From there, we'd go due West, then we'd head North, up the coast route from Santa Monica. "Your mother sure doesn't seem to like me much." "She would like you, Jimmy, if she knew you. She just always worries about me, that's all. She's afraid that you'll do something to hurt me. She says that some people always take advantage of other people, and that people like her and me, we always get used, and then dumped. It happened to her a bunch of times when she was young. She got pregnant with my older brother, and then she was dumped." "So, now she thinks that every guy you go out with will do the same thing to you?" "Rich guys. When she got pregnant, it was from a rich guy. Anybody who has any money at all though, is a rich guy to her. After you left, both on Wednesday, and again last night? She had me tell her everything that we've ever done together, from the first time that we met. I showed her the bathing suit that you bought me, and I even told her about the big tip that you left me that first day at the A&W. She wanted to know everything, even about the motel rooms that we got, and about all of the places that you've taken me out to eat. She even wanted to know what I ordered when we ate out. She wants to know everything that we're doing. She's still worried about how it will all turn out. She doesn't want me to get hurt." "What do you think? Do you think that I'm going to hurt you?" "I don't know, Jimmy. If you do though, it will still be worth it to me because you're treating me so good right now. My mom said that too, kind of, 'go ahead and enjoy it now', she said, 'because it never lasts', but, I just told her that none of my other boyfriends ever lasted either. At least, this time, I'm being treated good, and I'm being taken to some nice places for once. My mother always tells me that it was bad for her, but, all these years later, she still remembers every fun time that she had with those rich guys. It was just, at the time that it was all happening to her, she never thought that she'd get dumped at the end. She was surprised when it happened to her. I've heard all about it from her, a hundred times at least. If that happens to me now, it wouldn't be a surprise to me." "I would never hurt you deliberately, Donna. I'm not saying that we'll always be together, because I don't know if we will or not, but I really do like you, and I want us to enjoy what we're doing together now." "Jimmy, it's all right, really. Let's just have a good time. My mother has her own fears. I'm not afraid. I don't expect you to marry me or anything like that. It will be enough for me if you just treat me nice while we're together." "I can do that, and I will. I promise. Where do you want to stop for lunch? How about Santa Monica, for some shrimp?" "Shrimp? Sounds good. How far is it? I'm already pretty hungry." We drove over to Santa Monica and had a real nice lunch, sitting outdoors where we could see the ocean. We didn't hurry, so it was after four o'clock before we got back on the road. We found ourselves a nice place to stay in Oxnard, not too far from the ocean, and we spent the night there. We went down to the beach that night, just holding hands and walking barefoot in the damp sand, close to the water. I talked to Donna about my classes, and she told me that she was getting some good practice in on her roller skating, but, she said that she was still a little shaky with her stopping and starting. We stayed out on the beach from the time that we finished eating our supper until it got pretty late, maybe eleven thirty. I had left my watch in our room. We slept together through the night, with her pressed in tightly against me, and me cupping one of her boobs. It was the first night that we'd ever spent together. My first night sleeping with anyone. I enjoyed all of it. Donna seemed pleased as well. We made love two times in Oxnard, once when we first got into the room, and then once more, right before we went to sleep. There wasn't that sense of urgency about either time, and it was comforting to not be in any big hurry or to feel like we had to make use of limited time together in that way. We had just gotten into the car on Saturday morning after checking out of our room. It was still early. Donna and I had showered together, and we had done some fooling around while we were in there. After we got out, I was very ready to finish things up on the bed, but Donna wanted us to hurry things along and go right away to Santa Barbara. She was real excited now because I had told her, in the shower, that we'd be getting ourselves a real hotel room rather than a motel room, and I had also promised her that we'd eat at least one of our meals by ordering in room service. She had seen that done in the movies before, and she told me that she'd always wanted to get a nice meal delivered right to her room. I didn't want to keep her waiting, since I could see how excited she was by it. So, before nine o'clock even, we were back in the car and heading North. We had been traveling for less than five minutes when I heard from the voice again. Jimmy, you'll need to detour in Ventura in order to pick up that money. Do you want to do it on the way up or on the way back? No more than a quarter hour. It's buried in a garden at the Mission, so it could be a sightseeing side trip for you two as well. Do it after then. I need to tell you, Jimmy, that Donna is more worried about you dumping her than she's been letting on. Her mother has her almost convinced that you're just taking her on this one final fling. That's one of the reasons that she wants to squeeze as much as she can from this experience. Start talking about other trips. Mention a specific place that the two of you will be going to. Catalina Island is one place that she's always wanted to go to. San Diego is another. If you really want to make her excited, ask her about taking a train up to San Francisco for a weekend. Any one of these, if she believes that you really mean it, would stop her worries. Jimmy, if you really want to make her happy, tell her that she can bring her mother to Catalina Island with you. It would mean a lot to both of them, but it's up to you. "Donna, I'd like to go visit the Missions in Santa Barbara and in Ventura while we're up here. Is that all right with you?" "They're just a bunch of old buildings and a church, Jimmy, there's not that much to see. I went on field trips to a couple of them when I was a kid. If you want to go though, I guess we could." "One of these days, real soon, maybe on a weekend, do you think that we can take a train trip up to San Francisco? I hear that it's a very nice train trip." "Do you mean it, Jimmy? I've never taken a real train trip, and I've always wanted to go to see San Francisco." "How about the weekend after next? I'll get the train tickets and make hotel reservations, and we can leave on the first train after my classes let out that Friday. We'd have all day Saturday to sight see, and then come back on Sunday. They've got some really posh hotels in San Francisco. We'll stay at one." Donna had already been sitting close to me, but now she got even closer. She had both of her hands touching me. One on my arm, and one on my thigh. Her head was resting on my bicep. I felt a little shaking on my arm, and when I looked down, Donna was crying. "Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?" She moved a little bit away and wiped her hands across her eyes. She took a couple of deep breaths, trying to regain some control of herself. "No, it isn't anything bad. It was something that my mother told me, that's all." "Something about me, or about us?" "About how guys take a girl on a big trip right before they dump them. She said that's what this trip was for. She sounded so sure, I guess that, maybe, I kind of believed her. So, when you said that about San Francisco, and talked about us going there, well, then I knew for sure that she was wrong, and that I didn't have to be sad about this trip winding up being the end for us." "Donna, your mother is wrong about how things work with me. I don't care what her own experiences were, because none of them were with me. She's just wrong to say that about us. I really like you. I like being with you, and, I like doing things with you, things like taking these trips, or going to see new things with you. Your mother has had her own experiences, good or bad, but they don't have anything to do with what you and I are going to do. Maybe, if she went with us somewhere, she'd see that things are different with us, and she'd quit worrying, and more importantly, quit making you worry. Do you think that she'd go with us next Saturday, out to Catalina Island, on that boat? If she saw how much fun we have together, she would know that it isn't just me using you for sex, because, that's what she really thinks it is." "You mean for us to take my mom with us? We couldn't do anything together, not if she was there. I don't know, Jimmy. It would be a little strange to me. I've never taken my mother on a date with me before. You know the way she talks too. Wouldn't you be embarrassed by having her say those things to you like she does?" "So, is that a no to going to Catalina Island next Saturday?" "No! I want to go there with you. I don't think you should invite my mother though. Really, it would just be too different." "I'd like her to see you and I together, Donna. We aren't anything like she thinks we are together. She should know that we're different from what she fears." "I'll ask her, Jimmy, but I don't think she'll want to go either." "Well, either way, you and I will be going. So, now, we've got plans for this weekend, and the next two. I want to take the train down to San Diego too, one of these days, and maybe spend the night down there. Have you ever been to Mexico?" She looked up at me when I mentioned Mexico. Her face took on a fearful look for just a second. "I went to Tijuana once with my parents when I was little. It was dirty, and I got scared by some dogs. I almost got bitten by three dogs. That's all I remember about it. I'd like to go to Dan Diego though. I think we drove through it, but I don't remember anything about it." She suddenly got afraid that her mother would drive you away from her. She's also afraid of things that her mother might tell you about her. She and her mother have been at odds over Donna's past activities with boys and men. Her mother doesn't miss much when it comes to Donna's love life. You should let her work it all out for herself. She's being fed conflicting information right now. She needs to sift through it and decide for herself where the truth lies. This is a very good development actually, because it will speed up her acceptance of the fact that she is a better person than what she's been told and led to believe. It will help to convince her that she deserves to be well treated by men. The differences between what she is seeing coming from you and what her mother has led her to expect from men, will change her future expectations, and weaken the reliance she has had on her mother's values and standards. It is going quite well, Jimmy. You are making great progress with her. Her mother, and every single time that one of her mother's fears for her have been validated by her own selection of boyfriends. Donna has always looked for someone to treat her just like her mother told her to expect to be treated. Until you came along, she always succeeded in finding someone to treat her rather poorly. It is already happening, ever since that first day. It isn't difficult for her to see the difference, and decide that she prefers being well treated. Deciding that she deserves to be given this better treatment, that is what will take another month or two. Eventually. This time I'm moving up her meeting him so that it will be three years sooner, and I'm also eliminating a lot of the negative experiences and the guilt that she went through the time before. I hope that this time she will feel that she deserves to be loved and treated well, and that she'll be able to fully enjoy the life that she can lead. She won't constantly have to worry that her past activities and mistakes will somehow be discovered, or that such a discovery would bring either shame or suffering to her husband and children. We drove up to Santa Barbara and I rented a large room with a good view of the ocean at a nice hotel situated close to the beach. We were allowed to check in early, because the hotel wasn't at all crowded. After we had enjoyed the view, and the really nice amenities of our room, we walked into town and looked for a nice place to eat. We went into a few clothing stores and then did some other window shopping along State Street. I talked Donna into letting me buy her three skirts that were very reasonably priced. they were full pleated skirts, made of a light, cottony looking material. They were each a different combination of a bright, multi colored pattern, and, after she tried each of them on for me, she looked so good in all of them that I just had to buy them all for her. It was in that store that Donna got the skirts, that she asked the girl who was waiting on us about any of the good restaurants in town. It was really funny because, according to the girl at the store, our hotel had one of the best restaurants in the whole town. We finished our window shopping at about one or so, and then walked back to our hotel. Neither one of us had brought any fancy clothes with us, and the restaurant looked very fancy when we were standing in front of the entrance to it. Donna was at first afraid that we weren't dressed for such a fancy place, but I figured that it was only for lunch. I asked the man at the entrance about a dress code, but he said that we were fine, and that they permitted casual dress at all times. We told him that we were staying at the hotel, and he led us to a nice table, near a big picture window. You could see the sand when we were seated, but could only see the water if we were standing up. Donna and I both tried to order the lobster dinner, but we were then told that it was only served after four in the afternoon. Strange, I thought, but our waiter told us that the luncheon selection was actually pretty limited, even though he'd given us the regular dinner menu when we first sat down. We finally decided on pastrami sandwiches with a side of cole slaw and pickles. It was all right, but not especially good like I'd been hoping for. It took a little something away from the whole dining experience. After lunch, we went up to the room and spent the rest of the early afternoon making love. When we were just getting started on the bed, Donna gave me a blow job. She had claimed never to have done it before, but, based on the way that she did things, I had to take that assertion of hers with a big grain of salt. In my other time through, I had spent a fair amount of time with hookers, women whose job it was to know how to give good head. I thought that I could tell the difference between a novice and someone who was experienced. I'd have to rate Donna's performance as experienced, very experienced. I was thinking about whether I wanted to say something to her, when the voice spoke. Let her bring it up, don't say anything to her now. I didn't say anything, just enjoyed what she was doing. When I was ready to cum, I told her, but she didn't pull away. She swallowed it all, and then came up so that I could hold her in my arms. "Did that surprise you?" "I was too busy enjoying it. It was wonderful. Thank you." "I wanted to surprise you with my knowing how to do that. I told you before that I had never done that, but, that was before I really knew you, Jimmy. I don't do that with every guy I date, but I have done it with some, ones that I really liked a lot. Some of that other stuff, I have done before too. It was just that most guys seem to prefer to believe that you haven't really done that much before them. I'm sorry that I lied to you, Jimmy." "Donna, you don't have to lie about anything that you did before me, or hide it either. We both enjoy what we're doing together, at least I know that I do. That's what's important to me. That we both make each other feel good, and that we do what we want to together. Is there anything that we haven't done before that you'd like to do?" "Nothing new, but I really like it when you do me with your mouth, Jimmy. Nobody ever did that for me before, I swear. You're the only one. A guy I went with almost did it once, but then he kind of stopped before he got there, and just kissed me a little bit on my legs while I sucked him." I spent the next hour kissing her and licking her all over. Making love to her afterwards, was a sweet repeat of all of our earlier times. It was a peaceful thing with us, and it always left me sated and content. At six thirty, we called room service and ordered ourselves two full lobster dinners, along with several side orders. I'm sure that they seldom had orders that included baked potatoes and French fries both, but both of us ordered that. We also got corn on the cob, and, a whole chocolate cake. The dinner was both messy and fun. If you've never eaten lobster pieces soaked in butter from a pretty girl's navel, take it from me that it's enjoyable. That room service was a wonderful investment. We could never behave like that in a restaurant. We ate the cake the next morning, right after we both woke up. We spent an hour walking on the beach together that morning. We showered together again, made love, and then checked out of our room and drove over to the Santa Barbara mission. Donna was right about it not being that much to see, but I still needed to go to the Ventura mission to find the money that the voice had said was hidden there. We left Santa Barbara before one o'clock, and drove straight through to the Ventura mission. After only a couple of minutes there, I could see that Donna was getting bored, so we walked back to the car. I told Donna that I needed to use the rest room. She stayed in the car, and I then doubled back and went over to the wall in back of the garden, right where the voice had told me to look. I dug down about fifteen inches with a shovel that I had found over near the mission gate, and found a metal box that measured about a foot by a foot by six inches high. There was an old lock on the box. It looked like one of those cheap kind that you can open with a paper clip. From it's appearance, it hadn't been buried for that long. I covered the hole that I'd made back up as well as I could, and leaned the shovel back against the wall. Take the box and put it in your trunk, Jimmy. She won't even notice it. You are far enough advanced in your relationship with her, that I'm fairly sure that she would accept money from you to purchase new clothes. This is especially true if you told her that they would be for the trip to San Francisco. If she doesn't, I will fix it with her and make it okay. That would be better, if you're willing to do that." She hasn't had too many people buying things for her. Her life hasn't been such that she has been treated to much extra. The Mark Hopkins or the St. Francis are good hotels if you are seeking fancy. A suite at the St Francis, while expensive, in relative terms, would be something that she would always remember. There is ballroom dancing available too. Easily fixed. Ask her yourself. I had finished up putting the strong box in my trunk. I had a towel back there that I had kept just in case I went to the beach, and I wrapped the box in it, to avoid getting my trunk dirty. I got in the car and we started back over towards Oxnard. Donna looked happy when I got back and she slid over so that we were touching once again. "Do you like to dance, Donna?" "Regular dance?" "Sure. Like with a band and on a nice dance floor." "I've been to dances like that. I went to school dances, and I liked them. I've been to three proms, on dates, and I liked dancing at them." "When we go to San Francisco, I'm going to get us a nice room at the St. Francis and we're going to go dancing in their grand ballroom. I'll need to get a nice suit, or maybe even a tux. We need to get you a nice dress too, so that we both are looking really good. We'll have a real nice, fancy dinner, and then we'll go out dancing. What do you think?" "I still have my prom dress. It's pretty nice. My parents spent forty dollars on it. I think it will still fit. If not, I can have it altered. It won't cost that much." "I want to help you pick out a dress, a special dress that you'll be wearing for the first time, just for me, and then, you can help me pick out my new tux. We'll probably both need some more clothes for the trip anyway. It will be enjoyable, besides, it is all part of the fun of making a trip like this. Most importantly though, it is something that I want to do with my girlfriend. It will make me happy, and will make the trip better for me." "You're going to run out of money, Jimmy and then you're going to blame me for it." "I've told you to stop worrying about money. I'm not going to run out of money, I promise." Do you want me to fix this, Jimmy? We drove back at a leisurely clip, stopping again in Santa Monica, and eating at that same restaurant. Donna had the fried shrimp dinner and fries, and I had the abalone. We got back to Huntington Beach and both of us went inside her house. Her mother was at first full of the news about Danny, the jerk, being arrested again. When she finally had given Donna a full run down about that, Donna started telling her about our trip, and quickly mentioned the San Francisco trip that we had planned for two weeks from then. "Jimmy's taking me to Catalina Island on the boat Saturday, too. He said that we should invite you too, but I told him that you'd just treat him bad like you always do. We like to have a good time, not say mean things to each other." Her mother looked at me after Donna told her that I'd invited her along too. She didn't say anything, but I could see that it had surprised her. Donna was showing her mother her new skirts, and even went in her room to try one of them on to show her mother. I hung around for about twenty minutes before Donna walked me out to the car and thanked me, with several nice kisses, for the weekend. "That offer for your mom to come along is still good for next Saturday, but I'll leave it up to you to decide." "We wouldn't have any private time together, Jimmy." "I planned on getting us a room for Friday, down by here somewhere, so that we could leave early on Saturday, and spend the whole day at Catalina. That could be our private time. I'm going to do that anyway, get that room, but I just wanted you to know just in case you were still considering taking your mom with us." "Suppose she drinks, and she would drink, if you were paying?" "Well, suppose she does? My parents drink sometimes. I've seen drunk people before. I just figured that she'd be less worried about you if she saw that we enjoyed being together for more than just sex." "I'm also worried about what she might tell you about me." "Donna, there's nothing about you that would upset me or change the way that I feel about you. Nothing. What you might have done before, it isn't important to me. It's what we do together that I'm interested in. I don't think your mother wants to hurt you though, so she will probably be good." "She's said things about me before, in front of other guys. She gets mean when she's been drinking." "I think she's bitter, and afraid that the same kind of things that happened to her will happen to you. Don't let her fears, and her past problems affect how you live your life. In fact, don't be afraid, of anything. It isn't worth it, going through your life either all afraid, or ashamed and bitter." "So, do you really think that we should let her come with us?" "I'm not afraid of her, and I don't think that she'll ruin our time together. I'm going to leave it up to you though." "Can I think about is some more and then decide later?" "Sure." We kissed one last time and then I left. I told her that I'd probably be over to see her Wednesday because my parents would be coming in on Tuesday. She said that she'd call me Monday night. This is going to be hard on her, Jimmy, but she really needs to do it. If she can get her mother to just admit, even one time, that she was wrong about you, it might help to undo a lot of the damage that's been done to her self esteem over the past few years, damage caused by her mother's prior talks with her, and the emotional toll from her own past experiences. It wouldn't have the same effect. If her mother tells her that she was wrong, on her own, after seeing you two together, it will change more than just Donna's immediate feelings about herself. It will change Clara's feelings about her too, and that's important to both of them further down the path. Just you. I drove home and parked my car. I was trying to decide what to do with the strong box when the voice told me to leave it for later. I went inside, and spent the next half hour listening to fishing stories from both Tiny and Terri. Apparently the boat was in good shape and hadn't leaked. They had each caught a lot of fish, and were both looking forward to taking the boat in the ocean with my dad. I finally got a chance, after they both paused to take a breath, to excuse myself, pleading a long weekend and driving fatigue. Your parents are in Las Vegas. They are right on schedule to be here Tuesday, in the early afternoon. I'm going to adjust them tomorrow to be accepting of their new financial situation, and to not concern themselves with either your finances or your lifestyle changes. I can do that, but you do realize that it is one of the few ambitions that he has ever had for you? What would you suggest as a substitute? Parents always have ambitions for their children. Satisfaction with the status quo just never applies. There is one other ambition that he has for you, that's for you to become a pilot. It wouldn't take anything at all for you to learn. I could have you knowing how to pilot almost any plane in less than five seconds. You'd still need to take lessons in order to get your license, but your being a pilot might satisfy your father. He would want you to take him up with you. I think that if you signed up for flight training, and took a few lessons, that would begin to satisfy your father's ambition for you for the present. You might even find that you enjoy flying. Jimmy, why are you so suspicious? There are possibilities that benefit the both of us, if you have an ability to fly planes. The main benefit is that it would help your father to realize one of his ambitions for you. Mr. Wonderful happens to be a very good flight instructor. That is one way, and it does help with several other problems in your future. Haven't you ever wanted to fly? But it is less objectionable to you than your spending time in the military? Forget, no. Accept, yes. At the airport. There's a flight service in Santa Ana that has a flying school attached to it. Mr.Wonderful is an instructor pilot, and a charter pilot for the company Because they were happy before. Donna will simply be happier now, and have no past to be really troubled by. He's presently thirty seven years old. He was forty one their last time through, and they had twenty seven very satisfying married years, and three children that they raised to maturity together. Now, hopefully, they'll have thirty good years. I see her possible paths, Jimmy. I've already judged which one would be the best for her. This one is far superior to any of the other choices. Because of what you've already done for her, she now has more possible paths, but this one is the best. If you truly care about what's best for her, you'll defer to me on this. I told you approximately how long you'd have with her in the beginning, Jimmy. I told you that she already had someone that was right for her, and that you were only the bridge to cross her from where she was, over to where she needed to be. You've changed too, Jimmy. Donna isn't the only one that's making changes. I'm seeing different paths now for you. Not right now, but in your future, I can see a possible, permanent, someone for you. It wouldn't have been possible to the old Jimmy. You aren't that Jimmy anymore. I went to school and sat through both of my classes, but my mind was really on my conversation with the voice. I wasn't that upset about Donna. I wanted her to have that happy life that the voice said she would have, to enjoy a good marriage and to have those three children. I was also anxious to spend some time with Connie, after Donna and I were finished. I wasn't sure about taking up flying, but I figured that I could always stop later, if I really didn't like it. I knew that I wanted my father to be less upset with me than he had been during my other adult lifetime. This second time through represented a large improvement, from my perspective at least, over the first time. I may have had doubts in the beginning about how the limitations that had been placed on my second chance were going to turn out, but, so far at least, I couldn't really complain. It was different than I would have originally wanted, but it certainly wasn't necessarily worse. The most troubling aspect of all to me was that the voice was suggesting that I now had some control over what my future would be. This control is what I'd fought with him to get, but, now, he said that it had only become possible because I'd changed. I didn't really feel changed, more like resigned, since I'd given up hope of ever getting what I really wanted. Right now, I'd say that I was only trying to go along with what the voice was asking me to do in order to get the best deal for myself from him that I could. To my way of thinking, it was the voice that was making the changes to what he would do for me. If I was changed, what was it about me that was different? I didn't feel any different. Perhaps I was a bit more willing to compromise? I thought about all of this, but couldn't see any easy answers. ------- Chapter 16 Tuesday, I went to my tennis class, and we worked in smaller groups than we had before. The coach had separated the entire class of thirty or so students into four different playing levels. My group of six students were comprised of the better players. We took the farthest court from the gym, and spent the entire two hours doing different hitting drills. Henderson, the boy that I'd rallied with from the previous week's class, had been left in charge of us. While everything that we did was new to me, I was easily able to keep up with the other players in my group. We were hitting forehands and backhands to different spots on the court. Each player would continue hitting until he missed putting the ball into a quadrant that he'd been told to hit. I found that I could hit any quadrant pretty much at will, but I missed on purpose several times in order to give the rest of our group their opportunities to also hit, and I also did this so that my new tennis skills didn't stick, out and draw any attention to me. I adjusted your hand eye coordination last week, and I also taught you the basic fundamentals of court movement. If you don't want to appear too good, you can hit the ball out or into the net whenever you choose to. Don't blame me, all I did was improve on your very inferior skills. After my class, I showered and then went over to Tiny's house. My mom and dad pulled their car into Tiny's driveway a little before noon. Both of them looked tired from their travels, but happy to be at their destination. I gave my mom a welcoming hug and my father and I shook hands. "Welcome to California. How was the trip?" Terri came out of the house then and she also hugged my mom, and then my dad. Dad took the opportunity to plant a kiss on her as well. I noticed my mom's look of annoyance, but she didn't say anything to him, at least not then. We all moved inside the house. Terri got my dad the beer that he requested, and my mother, Terri and I all had fresh lemonade. Tiny and Terri had planted two big lemon bushes when they had first bought their house, and these bushes each produced so many lemons that I really wouldn't have believed it without having seen them for myself. It was a good thing that Tiny and Terri both loved lemonade. We had been sitting down at the kitchen table for less than a minute before my father asked Terri about the boat. She started talking to him, and, in less than a minute, the two of them were out in the driveway, tearing off the boat cover, and Terri was showing him everything about it. My mom and I stayed inside and talked. She told me that they had both had a good time on the trip. Her visit with her sister had been great, if too short, and the Carlisle's in Austin had been very hospitable, and had taken them out to a real Texas barbecue. She told me that my father had gotten drunk with Chief Carlisle, and the two men had stayed out until three in the morning, leaving their wives home to worry about them. Her real excitement though had been reserved for Las Vegas. It seems that my mother had discovered real gambling. She had always been an avid bingo player before, but now, she had discovered slot machines, and she was hooked. She told me about this one machine that she had hit five different jackpots on. It was a nickel machine, and each jackpot was 150 nickels, or $7.50. When I asked her how much she had ended up winning, she just looked at me strangely. "Jimmy, I put it all back in the machine, plus another thirty dollars of my own money. The thing is though, that it was my first time playing and I hit five jackpots. Now that I know how to tell when they're going to hit a jackpot, I can just walk around until I find a machine that's going to hit, play it, and win a jackpot. Then, I'll quit that machine and go find another one that's due to hit." "Ma, what do you mean? How do you know when it's going to hit a jackpot?" "Jimmy, it's something I noticed while I was watching other people play, after I had lost all of the money that your father gave me to gamble with. Most of those machines can go a very long time without hitting anything at all. You need to wait until the people playing these machines lose all their money, and then have to leave. It is almost certain that the very next person that comes by after that will only have to stick a few nickels in before the machine pays off for them. I saw it happen over and over again. I told your father about it too, but he wouldn't let me have any more money. He did promise me that he'd take me back soon, so that I can try my new system out with real money." "Ma, I'm not too sure about your system, but I'm glad that you enjoyed Las Vegas." Just then, my dad and Terri came back in. My father didn't look tired anymore. "Martha, you've got to see our new boat! Tiny really did a good job of picking up everything that we'll need. Terri says that Tiny's off tomorrow, and we can all take the boat and go fishing." "I'm not getting on any small boat like that, Jack. Have you completely lost your mind. What if it tips over? You can go if you want to, but I'm not going anywhere in a boat that size." My father looked disappointed by her lack of enthusiasm. "It's okay if Tiny and I go tomorrow though?" "You can go, I'll just sit here and have a nice visit with Terri and Jimmy." Terri then spoke up. "You and Jimmy can stay here Martha, but I'm going fishing. It's the one thing that Tiny and I really enjoy doing together. I'm not getting shut out again." My mother sniffed in disdain. "Go if you want to Terri, I can just sit here and enjoy the quiet and get some rest, all by myself, if I have to. After being cooped up in that car for so long, I might just enjoy having the whole house all to myself. In fact, you all should just go, and I'll make a nice dinner and have it ready for you by the time you get back. I can't wait to try cooking on that new range of yours. I bet Tiny has been missing my Yankee pot roast. He always used to ask for that when you guys came over to see us." Mom and Terri started talking about that oven and went over to twist knobs, look at the broiler and the oven, the new timer attachment. You would have thought it was a car, the attention that they paid to each tiny detail. I finally had to break things up. or they would have been at that stove until it got dark. "Mom, dad, we need to run over to Fullerton, to get the paperwork started on that house that you're buying." The two of them turned and looked at me like I was crazy or something. My father spoke first. "You already found a house that you think we should buy? Without your mother and I even looking at it? Jimmy, don't you think that we should make those kind of decisions?" Careful, Jimmy. I didn't prepare them for the house. I assumed that you'd lead them to it at a later date, allow them to make the purchasing decision. Remember, to them, their first home purchase is the largest financial decision that they think they'll ever make. I'd advise you to back pedal and start all over again. Remember, that house isn't going to go off the market anytime soon. "What I meant was that you need to fill out the financial questions for the GI Bill loan papers, so that we can get the process started. After you do that, we can go looking at some houses that I've found that you might like. You did tell me that you're buying a house didn't you?" "Your mother and I are going to buy a house, Jimmy, but, we're going to rent an apartment first, and then take our time looking around first, so that we know for sure what area we want to settle in." "Sure, pop, I knew that. It's just that I saw this one house that would be so perfect. It's close to my college, in an area where values are going straight up, it has a really nice lot, over two acres that can be split off for building other houses, and the house itself was really well constructed when it was built for the owner. It was all custom built, not just thrown together like most of these new tract houses are. It's big too, with plenty of room for a sewing room for mom and a den for you. It's a two story house too." "How far is it from where my ship is berthed?" "It's about a forty minute drive each way, pop, but you don't want to live in Los Angeles, or anywhere around that area where your ship is. It isn't really a good area to be living. Besides, Tiny and Terri and the boat are all out here. Plus, who's mom going to have for a friend way out in Long Beach? Terri and Tiny are close by for when your ship is out of port. You'd only be a twenty minute drive away from the ocean, and all of the good lakes to launch the boat in are out this way, unless you want to drive up North." "I said your mother and I will decide, Jimmy." Only if you ask me real nice. Oh, I like it when you grovel. All fixed. "Jimmy, since you went to all of that trouble though, your mother and I will go look at this house, but we're still going to end up buying when and what we decide." "Sure, pop, I wouldn't have it any other way." I looked over at my mother. She hadn't said a word through all of this, but, I could tell by the smile that she sent me that she was happy that I had been thinking about her requirements and needs, and I really felt that she would make an effort to be receptive of the idea of buying the house. We all went outside and I had them all get into my Cadillac. My mom sat in back and my dad asked me if he could drive it. I handed him the keys and went over to the passenger side. I first took them on a little tour of Fullerton, showing them my school, and showing them where the shopping area was. My mom was asking how far it was from the house that I liked to the grocers and to the other things like beauty parlors and the cleaners. I answered her as well as I knew, and, finally got my dad to drive over to the house itself. It was already vacant, and there was a big sign in front with the realty company that was handling the sale. When we pulled up in the long driveway, my father started complaining about all of that lawn that would need to be cared for. I told him that it was all handled, explaining the deal that I'd made with Tiny. Next, he stared complaining about how big the house was, and about how much work it would be for my mother to keep clean. When he asked how much they were asking, I told him the price, ($16,000), and he nearly went ballistic on me. "Are you crazy, Jimmy? Do you know how much the monthly payment would be on something like that?" They've accepted that there is money now, at least in the general sense, and that you are now going to be living independent of their concern or control. It will just take some time for them to both get used to the changing situation when it comes down to their making actual purchases. Did you notice that they didn't bat an eye at your Cadillac? They never asked how you could afford such a car, and, your father never mentioned money or costs when it came to the boat and all of the newly purchased accessories. The easiest thing would be to convince them of the merits of making the purchase. "Pop, I know that it sounds like a lot of money to you, and it is a lot of money. This is a big investment, and it is only about three thousand dollars more than one of those little tract boxes that they're building all over the place. The thing is, this is a lot more house that you'd be getting, and, you won't need to spend three or four thousand dollars for a new lawn, or a block wall fence either. The most important reason though, is that when prices start moving up, and they will, soon, this house will be going up more than twice as fast as one of those tract houses will, with their cookie cutter design. As for it's size, that's a huge plus for you. You've got built in storage, plenty of room for company, and mom will have room to have her new friends over to keep her company when you're off traipsing around the world on the Bryce Canyon." I could see that I now had mom solidly in my corner after that last salvo. "Jimmy, $16,000.00, that's more than I earn in three year's. What happens when I retire on half pay? This is going to be our retirement house, where we'll try to live on a fixed pension that isn't very big. I'll have to go out and get a job just to support that big house payment." "Pop, try to be for real here. There was no way that you were ever going to be able to live on that $250.00 a month from your Navy pension. Even with your savings, you will still need to work. This house is really your best chance of being able to really retire someday. In a few years, maybe ten or fifteen years, this house will be worth a whole lot of money. We can split off four more lots from that big yard, and sell them to builders then, for twice as much each as you're now paying for the whole house and property." "Your mother and I want to look around Jimmy, and make sure that we have what we want before we put down that kind of money for a house. You know that this will be our first house. Don't you think that we should start off small, just in case we decide that we don't like owning, and we have to sell?" Enter now, my mother. "Jack, Ive seen enough. This is the house that I want. Jimmy's right, I'm the one who is going to be stuck at home while you're off on your cruises. The house is for me, that's what you always said. Well, you can start off small if you want to, but not me. This is the house that I want, and I damn sure better get it. Don't forget, Jimmy already goes to school here. Now, lets go talk to the people and see if we can qualify to buy this house." My father looked over at me. He was pissed, seriously pissed. If my mother hadn't been right there, I'd have gotten an earful of his best ass chewing. I decided that I better throw him something. I better do something big too, if I wanted to avert the hard feelings that were going to result from all of this. "Pop, I've got some money that I've been saving. It's over four thousand dollars now, because of that compounding interest. I want to give you that for a down payment so that now this house isn't going to cost you any more than those little tract houses would have." I could see that, as my offer of that money registered with him, he got less angry and agitated at me. Better tell him about those flying lessons, Jimmy. Bastard, I knew why he was doing that. He always did things like this, get me under a lot pressure, and then get me to do something that he wanted me to. I can hear that, Jimmy. You should remember that before you go calling me any names. I gave you my best advice. If you choose not to take it, that's not my concern. I'm doing yours too. I don't ask for anything more valuable than what I'm willing to give you. Do you remember that box that's in your trunk? $19,200.00 is a lot of money, Jimmy. That should buy me a few flying lessons. Think of your father too. Don't you want him to get something that he wants out of all this. Is it too much to ask that you make him a little bit happy too? "Pop, I know that you're a little upset right now. I can understand that. I really think this house will be perfect for the family. As soon as I finish with my pilot's training, I thought I'd rent a plane and fly us all over to Las Vegas. Mom could try her new slot machine system, and you and I could go fishing over at Hoover Dam. I hear there's good fishing. We could rent one of those fishing boats and have a good time. We could even bring Tiny if he can get off and you wanted to." "What pilot's training? This is the first I've heard of any of that. When did you decide to do that? You hate fishing, I've asked you before if you wanted to go with me." "Pop, things change, people change. Maybe I've been too selfish, only doing what I wanted to. I never really gave fishing a chance. I'm starting to learn how to fly because I remember you talking to me about that when I was little. I figured that now is a good time to try it, while I'm still young, and things are easier to learn." "Well, I'm still not sure about any of this. If you want it so bad that you're willing to put up your own savings though, and if it will make your mother happy, I guess I'll go along with you two. If it turns out to be more than we can handle though, I don't want to hear anybody giving me any of the blame for it." Pop got himself a big hug and a kiss from mom. He got a big smile from me, and he actually smiled back at me too. We went down to the real estate office, to the address on the sign, and made a full price offer. I asked the realtor if the owner would let us move in right away if we authorized the immediate release of our four thousand dollar deposit from the escrow when it opened. I explained that we had just moved to California, and were temporarily staying with friends. The realtor said that he would check with the owner, but he was sure that it would be acceptable to him, under those conditions. After a lot of paperwork for my parents to sign was given to them, I went outside to a nearby bank, and purchased a cashier's check for four thousand dollars. I used my father's name as the remitter. It would be easier to explain him having that much money than it would be for me. After everything was signed, the owner was called, and he accepted the offer, authorizing the opening of an escrow immediately. He said that he'd come right down to the realtor's office with a full set of house keys for us, and would also sign the necessary documents. He even offered to go with us to the house, and to explain anything that needed explaining. My parents readily agreed to this thoughtful and unexpected offer on his part. The owner was a recent widower who was now living with his daughter and son in law and their children. As he took us through his house, we could see that the thought of parting with it was making him very emotional. My mother went over to him and told him that he didn't need to continue with showing us the house if it was too painful for him. He looked at her and said that there were many happy memories for him in the house, and that he hoped my parents would have just as many as he and his wife had known. We drove back to Tiny and Terri's house, each of us quietly thinking our separate thoughts. It was quiet, but it still felt like we were all emotionally close, having shared an important moment together. My little reverie was interrupted by the voice. You father is very pleased with how things went. In his mind, he was able to make your mother happy, and, at the same time, get himself a great house, one that he now recognizes was clearly superior, to anything that he thought he could afford to buy before today. He is also dying to hear more about your piloting school plan, but is fearful of asking you about it because he thinks that you might change your mind about doing it if he seems to be too much in favor of it. Your mother is totally thrilled to be getting her own house. The things that you mentioned to your father earlier, things that obviously showed concern for her welfare, have really impressed on her that you are growing up. Even the way that you handled your father's earlier anger has strengthened that feeling in her. She is very happy right now. "So, pop, you didn't say much about me taking flying lessons. I hoped that you'd be happy that I'm finally doing something that you wanted me to do." "You never told me that much about it Jim, just that you were doing it." "I figured that if I ever did go into the service, I'd want to be an officer, like we talked about, through the ROTC program. I also figured that I'd want to be a pilot if I was going to be in the military, or even if I wasn't. I remembered something that you said about aviation being a really good future industry too. I figured the first step to investigating any of that would be to see if I liked flying airplanes in the first place. So, I've decided to try to get a pilot's license, and then go from there. After I know more about whether or not I like doing it." "I think you're approaching it the right way. That's how I'd do it too. First find out if you like it, before making a big commitment to it. I'm starting to think that you might have been listening to me all of those times that I thought I was just talking to waste my breath. Once you get a license, I'll go up with you, but I think we should hold off on planning trips as far away as Las Vegas. Besides, with our new house payment, we can't really afford to turn your mother loose on those slot machines." "Jack, if my system really works, we could have that house paid for in almost no time at all. You'll be sorry you said that too when I'm rich, and you're having to beg me for your beer money." "That'll be the day. You think they build those big casinos because they let people win all of their money? They might have fifty people win some money everyday, different people each day, but there are five thousand others who lose everything too. Those slots are fun to play, but it's no way to make any serious dough. Jimmy's right about one thing Martha, the money to be made here in California is in the land. That's what made the most sense to me when he was trying to get me to buy that house, him saying that we could split off all that grass that we don't need, and then sell that land to home builders at a good profit." I was shocked. It was a good thing that my father was driving, or I'd have driven right off of the road. In my other lifetime, I'd never once heard my father discussing real estate investing, and certainly not understanding that it was really the land that appreciated in value, not the house that sat on top of it. I don't think I've ever been more surprised by something that he said. That happened because you made a real honest effort to appease his anger earlier. This was possible on your first trip through, Jimmy. The failure of you and your father to get along better was a mutual failure. Both of you shared almost equally in the blame. I knew that the voice was correct. I'd already seen signs of that same thing when we were back in Washington after I first decided to quit butting heads with him, and had let him prevail over me on small things, or when I actually really listened to what he was telling me. The more open I was to the idea of not trying to antagonize him, mostly out of my own sense of frustration or anger, the better chance there was that the two of us could work out some way to accommodate our divergent viewpoints or opinions. It seems obvious, but, it hadn't been obvious to me during any part my first time through with him. The whole thing made me instantly sad, as I thought about all of our unnecessary years of badly strained relations. Jimmy, it wasn't that bad. You only focus on the bad parts, and you remember the worst instances. You and your father weren't always at odds. Yes I was. Well, all work and no play. You know what they say. Because you are so suspicious that you'd doubt anything that anyone said to you. Jimmy, you were a dying old man, riddled with cancer, one who drank and smoked too much, and who never cared about anyone other than himself throughout his whole, long, and very empty existence. You were begging for a second chance at life. In what way do you think that you resemble either Donna or Connie? In what way? You were accusing. We both can agree on that. My good humor was totally ruined. I needed to do something to salvage it right away. I didn't want to be a wet blanket for my parent's California arrival. My first thought was of Donna. "Ma, pop, let me take you over to meet my girlfriend. We can go out to lunch with her, my treat." "It's late for lunch, Jimmy. We don't want to spoil our appetites for whatever dinner that Terri's planning for us, and besides, you know that your father can hardly wait to see Tiny again. We can do it another time." Well, she was right, it was getting late, but still, I wanted them to meet Donna. When we got back to Tiny's, I went in and asked Terri if she would have room for another mouth at the dinner table that night. She told me that she was baking some of the fish that she and Tiny had caught, and there was plenty of room for another guest. She asked me if it was my girlfriend that I wanted to invite, and I told her that it was. I drove over to Donna's house and she came to the door. She invited me in and we went into the living room to sit. "I didn't expect to see you today, Jimmy, is everything all right with your parents?" Donna's mother surprised me by telling me hello and then going back into her kitchen without even one insult. "They got here at noon. They're tired from their trip, but really happy to finally be here. I came over to see if you wanted to come over to Tiny's tonight and have some supper? It would give you a chance to meet my parents, and Tiny and Terri too." "You want me to meet your parents?" "Sure, why not? They're okay, they don't bite or anything. Although, my dad does growl a lot." "What should I wear?" How about a blouse, and one of those skirts that you got in Santa Barbara?" I've got a top that will go good with the one with all of the aqua color in it. When will you come by to pick me up?" "Come by? I'm here now. How long will it take you to get ready?" She started telling me about doing her hair, her nails, taking a shower, and then I stopped her. "Whoa baby, this isn't the Queen of England that we're going to see, it's my parent's and their friends. They don't need or want you to get all gussied up just to meet them. If you did, you'd just make the other women self conscious. Isn't it already enough for you that you'll be the best looking women in the house? Go change, and I want to be on our way in ten minutes or less." "Jimmy, that's not fair. It's important to me that I look my best when I meet them." "They just finished traveling over three thousand miles in a car, Donna. Don't make them feel like they have to get dressed up. If you come over all dressed up, both my mother and Terri are going to feel like they need to get dressed up too. Please, just put on your skirt and that top and let's get over there. I missed my lunch and I'm already hungry." I could see that she would much rather get dressed up, but that she could also relate to what I was telling her. In the end, her good sense won out and she went in and changed. Right before she finished dressing and came back out, her mother, Clara, came back into the living room again. "I haven't figured out what kind of game it is that you're playing with Donna Jean yet, but I will. If you hurt her though, I'll rip your eyes right out of your head, and don't think for even a moment that I can't do it." "Did you go to crazy bitch school, or are you self taught?" She looked at me, then she smiled at me and went back into the kitchen. Before she shut the kitchen door, she looked over her shoulder at me. "You're pretty funny for a rich, spoiled boy." "You're making it very hard for me to like you." "You don't need to like me, rich boy, you just worry about how you act around my baby girl." Donna came out from her room then and Clara closed the kitchen door. Donna looked very nice. I had a feeling that the ladies were going to want to freshen themselves up after they got a first look at her. We went out the door and I helped her into the car and got in myself. I stopped twice along the way to give her a few kisses and tell her how nice she looked. She asked me all sorts of questions about my parents and about Tiny and Terri. I could tell that the thought of meeting my parents and their friends was making her nervous. "Donna, when you first meet my mother, try not to stare at that big mole on the end of her nose. She's a little self conscious about it." "You're just making that up." "No, I'm dead serious. If you stare at it, she'll get all flustered, and then, she'll start scratching at it again. She won't quit her scratching until it's bleeding, and that will ruin all of our appetites." "You are kidding, aren't you?" "I wouldn't kid you, Donna. It's been a curse that has plagued her all of her life. She was teased about it all through school." "That poor woman. Now I'm going to worry about if I even look at her that she'll think I'm staring. Take me home, Jimmy, I'll need to prepare myself better. I'll meet them another time, I promise I will." She was almost crying. "Donna, I was just teasing, my mom doesn't have a mole on her nose." She slapped my arm, really hard. "It's my father that has it." That earned me another slap, but, she was laughing now, and it wasn't as hard a slap as the first one had been. We pulled up in front of Tiny's house and I parked and ran around the car to help her out of it. I took her hand and led her to the front door. This should be interesting, I thought. Just as I was getting ready to open the door, I heard a glass breaking inside and heard my mother yelling at my father to quit making an ass of himself. "Welcome to California, Mom and Dad, it's nice to see that nothing has changed." My father was staring at Donna, my mother was glaring at my father, and Terri was bent over picking up the broken pieces of glass. My mother was the first one to speak. "You're just in time, Jimmy. Your father is getting ready to tell all of us about why it was that I just saw him with his hand on Terri's ass." Terri's face got red when my mom said that, but my father was smiling over at Donna. "We can sort all of this out later, Jimmy. Come on in and tell us all about your gorgeous friend." My father had the balls of a burglar, you had to give him that. Less than a minute after my mom catches him goosing his best friend's wife, he's already flirting with my girlfriend. I decided to teach him a lesson. "Pop, how come Chief Denton is across the street holding that high powered hunting rifle?" The look on my father's face was almost worth the look that came over my mother's face, almost but not quite. She got tears in her eyes, and left, running for the room that she and dad had been given at Tiny's house. My father ran after her, but not before shooting me a look that told me that I'd undone almost all of the gains that I'd made with him over the past four months. I could have kicked myself. Jimmy, would you like me to back time up for you for five minutes? No, because you called me names earlier. Remember that a sword cuts both ways. I found myself back out in the car, just getting ready to turn the corner that would take me to Tiny's house. Yes, it was. This time, when we heard the glass drop and break and all the rest of it, I knew better than to wisecrack at my father. "We can sort all of this out later, Jimmy. Come on in and tell us all about your gorgeous friend." "Dad this is Donna. Donna, this is my dad, and this lady bending down and picking up all that broken glass is Terri, this is her house, and we are all her grateful guests." I turned to my mother then. "Ma, this is Donna, a very special person in my life. Donna, this is my mother, another very special person in my life." Soon it was Jack and Martha instead of mom and dad, and my mother had managed to convince herself that my father had probably only been teasing Terri earlier, and that he hadn't really given her a three fingered goose right up her ass. He'd have to dance a pretty intricate dance for her later, in order to get her to continue disbelieving the evidence that she'd see with her own eyes, and, even more to accept his version of what she actually had seen. I had no doubt that he would succeed, since I'd seen him succeed so many times before. ------- Chapter 17 Tiny got home about fifteen minutes after I brought Donna in to meet my parents and Terri. I introduced him to her, and her to him. He and my father were soon in earnest discussion about the boat's capabilities, and the types of fishing that were now opened up to them both. My father told Tiny that they should leave the boat in Tiny's driveway since they'd probably want to do mostly ocean kelp fishing for a while. This made Tiny and Terri both happy, because they knew that my father would put out to sea several times over the next three years, and they would still have easy access to the boat for their own fishing needs. After dinner, Tiny and my father went outside to inspect the boat, and to look over everything else once again. Terri stayed in with Donna and my mom this time. I went out with the guys, only because all of the whispering that the three women were doing amongst themselves was beginning to make me paranoid. Don't worry, Jimmy. They're all saying nice things about you. You're mom is trying to find out the full extent of your relationship with Donna though. That 'very special person in my life' comment has really made her curious. Donna is a little bit afraid of your father. She recognizes that look of longing that he has every time he looks at her. When I got out to the boat, Tiny and my father were discussing the relative merits of several different types of reel technology. I remember something about stars, drags and penn reels, but don't ask me about what any of it meant. Still, I stayed out with them and listened to what they were saying to each other. When they began talking about where they were going the following day, I told them that Terri had said that she was going too. Tiny's eyes narrowed at that information, but my father took it in stride. I wondered if Terri would tell Tiny about my father goosing her. If she did, I wondered whether Tiny would say anything to my dad about it. I didn't think that he would. That was Tiny, he seldom made any waves. My dad turned the conversational topic to Donna. "Are you getting any of that, Jimmy? What do you think Tiny, is he tapping that sweet little girl or not?" Tiny didn't say anything. "Well, are you?" I just looked at him. Finally, I said something to him. "You think ma's going to be pissed at you for long over that broken glass thing." "No, she knows that I was only kidding around. Tiny, how many times have you seen me goose somebody, fifty or more times I'll bet? It doesn't mean anything, I just like to see people jump, because it's so damn unexpected. Hell, I'd even bet I've goosed old Tiny here before, right, Tiny?" "I don't think so, Jack. At least, I don't remember you ever doing that to me." "Ha, maybe not then, because if I had of, you'd sure remember it. That's what Jimmy's talking about. Terri was walking by when I kind of reached out and gave her the goose, and she dropped her glass. Jimmy thinks its a big thing, but it isn't. Right, Tiny?" "You goosed Terri, Jack? What did she say when you did that?" "I think she said something like... EEK! and then grabbed her ass with both hands, even though that meant that she'd she drop her lemonade and break the glass. I didn't mean to have her drop that glass Tiny, but what good is a goose without the element of surprise to it?" "What did Martha say?" "Well you know Martha, Tiny, her sense of humor doesn't extend to that type of kidding around. She'll get over it though, she always does. So, you never did answer my question about that pretty little girl, are you drilling in her hole or not?" I walked away. I had a hundred things that I might have said to him, but none of them would have improved the situation, in fact, all of them would have made it even worse, for both of us. I walked inside the house and asked Donna if she was ready to leave yet. She and my mom hugged, and Terri gave her arm a squeeze too. I opened my car door for her and, while I was walking around to the driver's side, my father came over and signaled Donna to roll down her window, which she did. "I just wanted to tell you how happy I was to meet you Donna, and to tell you how much I'm starting to admire my son's taste in women. I hope to see a lot more of you real soon." Then, he leaned in and gave her a kiss, right on the lips, not even caring that it was done right in front of me.When he straightened up again, he looked over at me, waiting to see if I'd make anything of it in front of Donna and Tiny. Jimmy, it isn't worth it. One of you should act like an adult. Don't stoop to his level. This is him at his worst, just let it go. "We've got to go, dad. I'll be back later. Maybe the two of us can have a talk about things after I get back." "I look forward to it, Jimmy. It's been awhile since the two of us just sat together and let our hair down with each other." I drove Donna home, and we sat in the car in front of her house talking for awhile. "I like your mother, Jimmy, she's nice. Your father scares me a little bit, and he makes me uncomfortable. Is he always like that?" "I'm sorry about that, Donna. We can't pick our parents. Maybe we should get your mother and my father together in the same room sometime. Either she'd kill him or else he'd fuck her." "That isn't nice to say, Jimmy. But it's funny. Probably because it's true too. He sure comes on strong with people, right in front of your mother too. Doesn't anybody ever say something to him?" "Well, just about everybody he knows has said something to him about it, but nothing seems to slow him down or stop him." "I feel sorry for your poor mother then. I don't see how she puts up with it." "I don't either, but she does. I stopped trying to figure it out several years ago. Usually, I keep my friends away from him, but I had hoped that maybe he'd be good when I brought you over to meet him and my mom." "He's a nice looking man, your father. Distinguished looking, I'd say. You look a lot like him in the face, especially in your eyes and nose." I walked her up to her house, and we both went inside. Her dad was home, and I said hello to him. Clara came out from somewhere in the back of the house and she and Donna started talking about the meal, my parent's, and how she got along with them both. Donna surprised me when she told her mother about my father, and how he had goosed Terri, and had flirted with her. After that, Donna started whispering in her mother's ear, and then both of them really cracked up about what Donna had told her. I thought that Donna had told her what I'd said about putting her and my father in the same room. "Well if his dad looks like him, I probably wouldn't want to kill him." Then, both of them broke out laughing again. Donna's dad looked over at them and shook his head. They just kept whispering together. I finally waved at Donna and started for the door. Donna stopped talking with her mother long enough to walk me out to the car. "Don't be mad, Jimmy, I had to tell her, it was funny. She won't say anything to anybody about it." "I'm not mad. It is just a little embarrassing to have a father who acts like that." "He's not that bad. You should see my father when he's really drunk. Or my mother, too. When they're both drunk, anything might happen. At least your mom is normal." "You should see her when she's been drinking and my dad gets out of line like he did today. If you did, you wouldn't exactly call her normal." We kissed a few more times, and I asked her if she wanted to go to dinner and a movie the following night. She said she did, and I told her I'd come over early, after my classes let out, and we'd make a day of it. I got back in and drove back to Tiny's. My father and I never came to blows in my first time through, but we did cuss each other out more than a few times. As I drove back, I was seething with anger at him. He shouldn't act like that, period, especially when it's a girl that I've brought home to meet my mother and him. By the time I got to Tiny's, I had given my anger free rein. I parked, and was surprised to see my father coming out of the house and approaching me. "Jimmy, I want to apologize to you. I was way out of line with your girlfriend, and with those comments that I made to both you and Tiny. I don't know why it is, but, sometimes, I act like I'm a little kid and I try to see how bad I can be in front of all the grown up people. Today was one of those times, and I'm sorry. After you left, I started thinking about what your mother said to me before, about how you're trying to meet me half way now. I hope that today won't change what's been happening with us lately. I really am sorry as hell about today." "Well, I guess I'll accept your apology pop, but that was pretty hard for me to take, especially in front of a girl that I really like a lot. I'm not ever going to answer any questions like the one you asked me, never. I will tell you this though, Donna shaves all of the hairs off of her pussy. You can just think about that the next time you see her." You're as bad as he is, Jimmy. That isn't even the truth either. Why did you tell him that? I walked away from my father, and went into the house. My mother looked at me and smiled. She knew that something must be up for my father to get up and run out to talk with me when my car pulled up in front. For several years now, ever since I turned fifteen years old, she had been doing everything in her power to help to get my father and I to be just a little bit nicer to each other. She had placed herself in the middle so many times when we were arguing, but, usually, it hadn't done any good. She deserved to win a few this time through, because she didn't win many the last time through. I went over and sat down beside her. "Well, you made a big hit with Donna, ma. I'm going to be turning in now, because it's been a big and exciting day. I'm sure glad that you and dad made it out here safely, and I know we're all going to love our new house. I'll see you in the morning. Don't worry, things are good between dad and I right now. Good night ma." I said good night to Tiny and Terri, and thanked Terri for letting me bring Donna over to meet everybody. It had been a long day, and I felt that I'd made an honest effort to keep things going as well as I could with my father. I hoped that I'd be able to keep trying in the future too. I spent most of the next day and evening away from Tiny's. I had told Terri that I had a date and wouldn't be back there until late that night. My father and Tiny had left at five that morning for fishing, and Terri had decided not to go with them. I didn't know whether it was the time that they left, or what my father had done to her the day before, but something had changed her plans. Donna and I decided to get a motel room instead of go to the movies. We shared a pizza together early, around one thirty or so, and got the leftovers wrapped so that we could eat them in our room if we got hungry. We spent a lot of time and energy making each other hungry. Every time I spent time with Donna, I appreciated her more, and thought about the time when I would have to let her go. It was hard from me to tear myself away from her so that we could get dressed and I could take her home. While we were driving to Donna's house, she told me that she had decided to take a chance and invite her mother to come with us Saturday to Catalina Island. I told her that I was glad that she had made that decision. I reminded her that I was out of school the next day and asked her if she wanted to go into Los Angeles and shop for some clothes in the wholesale district. She told me that she was willing, but made me promise not to spend too much money on her. I promised, why not, too much money is too hard to define. One person's too much is another's not enough. The trip to Los Angeles was a lot of fun, but I was really out of my element when it came to women's clothes and things like good quality or shoddy quality. We wound up letting Donna handle the quality decisions while I told her what I liked and what I didn't like. She was really surprised at how reasonable the prices were in the garment district. I bought myself a nice suit that fit me perfectly without any alterations, and a tux that needed to be altered before I could pick it up. I told them that I wouldn't want it if it couldn't be altered in less than two hours time. They said that they couldn't do it, but when I started to leave, they changed their minds and told me that they'd manage somehow. Together we spent less than five hundred dollars. I got the suit and tux, four dress shirts, three pair of slacks and some nice, soft, dancing shoes. Donna bought this beautiful black dress than looked really nice, three other dresses, some shoes and several pair of sexy underwear sets. We were in this one place that sold some really nice and very sexy underwear. Even at wholesale, their prices weren't cheap. We spent a hundred sixty dollars for four bras and five or six pair of panties there. I had Donna buy a very sheer bra and panty set for her mother, as an expensive gag gift. We got it wrapped up in a gift box, and had the owner write a little card to place in with it. It said, 'thanks for last night, it was wonderful'. I had him sign it, 'love, Jack'. Donna promised to slip it into her mom's undies drawer as soon as she got back home. I made Donna take a hundred dollars to buy herself any of the other things that she might need for the trip that we hadn't shopped for. Whatever the voice had done to her sure worked, because she didn't give me any trouble about any of the money that I spent. Friday, I got a motel room less than a mile from where Donna lived. We spent a lot of our time in that room just talking about things. We made love once, when we first got there, and once more when we both woke up in the middle of the night. Donna gave me a nice blow job to wake me up at six o'clock the next morning, and I returned the favor, right after she was finished with me. It was a good time, but very low key for all of that. We drove over and picked up Clara a little before seven. The boat left from Newport at about eight thirty. The trip would take about ninety minutes to make the twenty five miles or so. On the way over there, Clara kept to herself, and was on her best behavior. Several times I caught her watching Donna and I as we stood on the rail looking out at the sea. We stayed close together, and we talked and kissed, like any young couple who really liked each other, and were on physically intimate terms. We walked around Avalon, looked at the Wrigley house and all of the harbor sights, including the Casino, that wasn't really a casino. We had lunch in this tiny restaurant, halfway up a very narrow street. I'm not sure how we managed to come across it, because you couldn't really see where it was from the opening to the little pathway. The food was good, and Donna was right that Clara would be drinking if I was buying. She managed to drink five beers with lunch. Donna was getting anxious so I told Clara that there was no more drinking. She said that she'd buy her own then. I told her that we'd leave her and take the earlier ferry back if she kept drinking. She decided not to try me to see whether or not I'd stick to my guns on that threat. After lunch. she got more talkative. Donna was right, she had a mean mouth when she was drunk. Hell, she had a mean mouth when she was sober. Drunk, she had no governor on her mouth. I let her go, right up until she started saying some really hurtful things about Donna's past. I grabbed Donna's hand and we walked quickly away from Clara and I don't even think she even knew that we were gone until we were more than a hundred yards distant from her. We kept going, and wound up walking south on the island, past the Wrigley mansion and over towards the wild and wooded area beyond. We had come up a steep hill to get this far, and I was pretty sure that Clara wouldn't follow after us. It took a few minutes to calm Donna down. Her mother had the power to really affect her with the hurtful things that she said. We kept away from Clara until fifteen minutes before the boat was ready to go back to Newport. We walked right up to her sitting on the edge of the road, with her feet hanging over the edge towards this tiny sandy beach area. She didn't notice us until Donna reached out and touched her hair. "I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't drink. I didn't ruin it for you did I?" Donna didn't answer her. "You didn't ruin it for me, Clara. I don't know about if you did for Donna or not, but I'm pretty sure that you ruined it for you, and that's a shame." We just stood around, none of us saying anything until they let us board the boat. On the return trip, Donna sat inside, out of the ocean air, sitting with her mother, her arm around her protectively, as though she were trying to protect her from something. I knew, even the way it had turned out, that bringing Clara hadn't been a mistake. I sensed that our outing might be an important turning point for Donna and her mother. ------- Chapter 18 Our furniture and other household goods arrived on the following Wednesday. My parents had both been going over to the new house everyday, getting all of the utilities turned on, and cleaning and painting some of the rooms in preparation for the arrival of the furniture so that we could get moved in. They had opened up a checking account, and I had made a deposit of three thousand dollars into it. My mother and father started to buy some new furnishings on Monday, because what we had just wasn't nearly enough to furnish that big house. My father told my mother on Wednesday that she would need to hold off on buying anything for a while, but I told her that she should use the money that she'd been saving for all these years to buy the things that she wanted. The voice did something to her, and the next thing I heard from her was her telling my father about the secret money that she'd been saving just for the day when she would have her own house. The voice must have done something to my father, because he believed her story. Wednesday morning my father announced that he had decided to save some of his leave. He said that it was because we were getting settled in quicker than he had originally planned on. He was just tired of the domestic life. He went to work on his ship, and my mother and I went off to do more shopping. He would get home around six at night, never failing to tell us about how long and difficult the drive back and forth was for him. I had never seen my mother happier than she looked when she was buying things for her new house. She would have run out of money on Wednesday, if I hadn't added another two thousand to their checking account. By Thursday afternoon, I was all shopped out. I told my mother that she had bought enough new furniture and other things for the house. She seemed disappointed that her buying spree had ended so soon. I hadn't seen Donna since the Sunday before, although we had spoken on the telephone several times in the evenings. I went over Thursday night to see her, and to make sure that she was ready for our San Francisco trip. While I was there, Clara treated me differently, asking me if I wanted something to drink, and bringing me a Coke when I asked her for it. She thanked me for her fancy under garments, saying that she hoped she had some special occasion someday so she could wear them. "Why don't you put them on tomorrow, and surprise your husband?" "Because he wouldn't appreciate it." I didn't say anything to that. I wasn't sure what she had meant by that comment, but I really didn't want to get into it with her either. Donna and I went out for a drive, heading North to Seventeenth Street, and then heading East until we got to Santa Ana. There were a lot of kids that drove back and forth on Seventeenth Street in 1957, it was a long, straight, drag where people went to find out about parties, or just to be out cruising around. I had told the voice that I'd go down to sign up for flight lessons as soon as Donna and I got back from our San Francisco trip. I knew that the voice was getting anxious for Donna to meet Mr. Wonderful. I also knew that I wasn't looking forward to losing her. I spent as much time with Donna that night as I could, even though we weren't even doing anything more than being together and talking. She was excited about the trip, but I was starting to have big doubts about it. For a short time, I considered postponing the trip for a week, using my parent's move as an excuse for it. I didn't know if the voice would permit it, and, I wasn't sure that the delay wouldn't upset Donna needlessly. I didn't want her upset or worried about anything. After I took her home, I drove over to Tiny's house to spend my final night as their guest. My mom and dad were already sleeping in the new house, but I hadn't set my own room up yet. I was going to do that when I returned on Sunday night. I could have slept over there easily, but I wanted my parents to have a few more days of privacy before I moved in. On Friday morning, I gave Terri a hundred dollars, and thanked her for making me feel so welcome in her home. She tried to refuse the money, but I insisted, telling her that she'd hurt my feelings if she didn't take it. Donna and I caught the train in Fullerton, and then had to change trains in Los Angeles. We had a wait of less than a hour at Union Station. It was crowded, and we sat there waiting for our train to be announced for boarding. It was a great day, weather wise, for traveling, a little warm, but the sky was clear, and the air quality was perfect for once. In 1957, the Los Angeles basin was usually pretty smog filled. When the train started North, Donna and I sat together on the left side of the train and enjoyed the steady sway of the train's movement, and the rhythmic clacking of the wheels beneath us. Donna was excited to be heading North on the train. I think she had some slight doubts that we were going, right up until the train left the station. We watched the scenery, especially later, when the ocean came into view. It was a long trip, about nine hours in total time, but, we finally pulled into the station in San Francisco, and got a cab to the St. Francis Hotel. I had reserved a suite through a travel agency, and it was really gorgeous. The hotel itself was first rate. The employees fawned on the guests, pampering them, and trying to anticipate their every need. The hotel washed all of their coins, everyday. I bought some silver dollars and some half dollars from them, just so that I could tip everybody that helped us in any way. We got up early on Saturday morning and went out to see the city. We went over to the Coit Tower, Golden Gate Park, we saw the Golden Gate Bridge, which wasn't golden at all, and had dim sum in Chinatown. We rode the cable cars up and down from Powell to Hyde and back. We went and looked out at Alcatraz Island. We had dinner in our suite, late on Saturday afternoon, and then went dancing with me in my tux, and her wearing her black evening gown. I gave her a nice pearl necklace that I had purchased secretly at a jeweler's in Chinatown, I bought it while she was looking at souvenirs for sale in another store right next door. True to his claim, the voice had taught me how to dance, and we danced until the band quit at midnight. It was a romantic evening, not just the dancing, but having the room service dinner, with our own, personal, waiter in attendance. We went to bed at almost one o'clock, and it was truly a poignant time for me as I traced my hands all over Donna, trying to imprint the feel of her in my brain. I wanted to remember her just the way she was at that very moment, lying there, enjoying watching me as I caressed her lovingly. "Are you enjoying the trip so far?" "It's the best, Jimmy. I'm having such a great time. I hate to leave, because there is so much more to see up here." "I wish we had enough time to stop off down in Monterey, I'd like to go to Carmel and look at the ocean views they always show in the movies. It's really supposed to be pretty there." "Can't you skip a day of school? You can miss one day can't you?" I'd like to, Donna, really. Don't you think your parents would worry if you weren't back by the time that we said?" "I could call Vicky, and have her tell my mom. Please, Jimmy, just one more day." "I'd have to call my parents too, and I don't remember their new number. I'd have to see if they have it listed or not. Let me see in the morning if I can get in touch with them. If I can, we'll stop off in Monterey tomorrow." I did manage to get in touch with my parents in the morning, but I had to call Terri to get my parent's new number. I told my mother about our change of plans, and she told me to have a good time. Donna reached her friend, and we had a nice room service breakfast before checking out of the hotel. I still had plenty of money left for this extended trip, but I was starting to worry about all of the money that I had been running through. I knew that I had to save five thousand for Mr. Frenchak, and I still planned on finding ways to help Tiny and Terri get past their financial difficulties, and to make my parent's lives a little brighter too. "Jimmy, you needn't worry about that, Have a little confidence that I can handle that aspect of it for you. It won't happen. Enjoy all the things that you're doing today, Jimmy. Stop worrying about your parting with Donna. I promise you that it won't be that difficult or painful for either of you. Do you want me to prevent you from thinking about it, or from dwelling on it? That's possible, Jimmy, are you sure that you really want to go through that? At the train station we had to change our tickets and pay some extra money. It was silly, because we were going the same total distance, but, they had their rules, and those rules were set up for them to make money. I paid the extra money and we were all set. When we got off the train in Monterey, I called the La Playa Hotel, and they sent a hotel car to pick us up at the station and drive us out to the hotel. It was expensive, but we got the best suite of rooms that they had available. We spent the whole day, just walking on the beach and looking back at the scenery. It was truly magnificent scenery too. There were cottages that the hotel had for guests that were more private, but we preferred to stay right in the hotel. I told Donna that I was going to take some flying lessons after we got back, and that, someday, I'd like to fly back up here and look at the area from the air. She told me that she'd never flown, and would like to go up in an airplane sometime, just to see what it looked like being above everything. I told her that we'd make sure to do that soon. We were driven back to Monterey before noon so that we would be sure to make our train connection. On the way back down to Los Angeles, Donna and I had the whole train car to ourselves for the entire trip. Railroad porters and the train conductor came through the car, but no other passengers were there. We had a nice meal on the train too, and drank a Coke in the club car. It was almost ten that night when I brought Donna back home. Except for my thoughts about my time with Donna coming to an end, the whole trip had been perfect. I didn't go in her house, but I did walk her to the door. She thanked me for the trip, especially for taking an extra day so that we could see Carmel. I thought for a moment of asking her to marry me, all the time knowing that the voice wouldn't allow it, but still I felt like asking her, because, at that moment, it was what I really wanted. I kissed her good bye, and got back in my car. You could have asked her, Jimmy. I wouldn't stop you. She would have said yes to you. It wouldn't have changed anything though, so it would have made it more painful for you in the end. Are you sure you want to endure this sense of loss? It really isn't anything necessary for you to endure. As you wish. In Tennis class the next morning, I played a set of actual tennis with Henderson, and then another with a boy named Proctor. I was in a mood not to be merciful, winning the first one 6-2, and then beating Proctor by a 6-3 score. The coach watched both of my matches closely, even making notes on his clipboard during the two matches. He spoke to both Henderson and Proctor after the matches, but didn't say anything to me. I showered and then drove over to Santa Ana, to get enrolled in taking some flying lessons. I met Mr. Wonderful. It turned out that his real name was Tom Foley. I wanted to dislike him, maybe even to hate him, but he turned out to be a real nice guy, and he really knew his stuff, at least when it came to teaching people how to fly. Every time I asked him a question, he'd give me an answer and then ask me a couple of questions to make sure that I had understood what he was telling me. I signed up for the full teaching program, from classroom instruction to flight training, right up to getting my pilot's license. It wasn't exactly one of those 'pass or don't pay' plans that later became so popular, but Tom assured me that I'd be able to fly well enough to get my license long before he was done teaching me. That first day, it was to be all classroom theory, but Tom made it enjoyable for and the all three of us who were just starting their lessons that day too. One of the first things that he told us was that different people learned at different paces. He said that that didn't mean that the fast learners would be better pilots in the long run, just that they had picked things up quicker, in the beginning. He stressed safety, and told us about there being old pilots and bold pilots, but no old, bold pilots. You had to spend a lot of time in the classroom before you got in a plane and actually learned how to fly. That said, after class, he took all three of us up in the plane that the school used for student lessons, and flew us around for half an hour. Because I paid in advance, I got a fifteen per cent discount on the tuition. When we got down on the ground again, I was as anxious as the other two to learn how to fly. I asked Tom about how much it would be to have him take my girlfriend up in the plane for half an hour sometime. He said that he'd do it for thirty dollars, but that was for twenty minutes of actual flight time. He then told me that he sometimes made it longer if the passenger was really enjoying the ride. I set up an appointment for him to take Donna up that coming Thursday at noon. I figured that I'd bring her to the airport first, and then take her out to lunch afterwards. It would make a nice surprise for her. Since I already knew that they were going to be together, there was no point in dragging the whole thing out. The voice had assured me that Donna was now ready to meet her Mr. Wonderful. I went over to Donna's after that lesson on Tuesday, and we went over to Anaheim and got ourselves a motel room. It wasn't expensive, even if it was the peak season for tourists. Maybe there was just something perverse about me, but that day, I made love with Donna with real physical abandon, not slow and sensual like we always had done it before. It wasn't rough sex, but it wasn't what she had grown used to getting from me either, and she even made a comment about it. "What happened, Jimmy, did I do something to make you mad?" "No, baby. I guess I was just keyed up from my first flying lesson. He took us all up today, and we flew all over for about half an hour. Flying in a small, private plane is a lot different than on a big plane. It's as different as riding a bus is from driving a sports car. More personal, and you really can feel that you're flying through the air. You're closer to it somehow." "I wish I could do that, Jimmy. I'd love to learn how to fly. Does it cost much?" "Actually, they have a buddy plan where the second tuition is half price. Would you really like to learn how to fly?" I was thinking about her difficulty with learning how to roller skate. Some part of my brain knew that the two had almost nothing in common, but I still thought of it. Jimmy, this is a good idea. Go ahead and tell her that you'll pay for her lessons. I should have thought of this myself. It's almost perfect. Tell her that you'll sign her up on Thursday. She will be in a different ground class than you are. It will give her a chance to get to know Mr. Wonderful in a better setting than what I had planned. It will also mean than you and Donna will have a longer time together. I wasn't sure why it would mean that, but I didn't ask any questions about it either. I gave myself a few moments to think about how I wanted to proceed with telling her about my plan. "My class has already started, so if you did it, you'd have to be in a different class than me. I wish that we could both be in the same class, but this way, there wouldn't be any competition between us to see who did things first. Thursday, we'll go over to see Tom, my instructor, and make sure that you can get into the very next class they start." "Jimmy, I don't know why you do so much for me. I'm glad that you want to though, and I'm grateful too. Will he take our class up for a flight the first day too?" "Yes, I'm sure they take all of the classes up. It must be part of the whole flight training program. I'm not sure that you'll get the same instructor as I have, but he's really good, and you should try to get in one of his classes. His name is Tom Foley." "Jimmy, thank you for doing this for me. Who would ever think that someday I'd learn how to fly an airplane? I don't even have my driver's license." We made love again, sweeter, and much gentler this time. I had somehow managed, between our two lovemaking sessions, to come to terms with the reality that Donna and I were now beginning the process of disengaging from each other. I wanted it to be an easy uncoupling, one where she wouldn't feel at all bad about anything that had happened, or, that would happen with any part of the relationship that we had. Through it all, I still realized that, right now, I was the only one of the two of us who knew where our relationship was heading. Well, there isn't any way to avoid that, unless you initiate the break up yourself. One of you is going to have to be the bad guy here. If you are the bad guy, at least you'll know why you are doing it. If she dumps you for someone else, how do you think that will affect her self esteem? With the right timing, you can break it off with her, and she'll just be relieved that she didn't have to make the choice to break it off herself. She won't feel bad, and everyone will be where they are supposed to be. Two weeks, three weeks, any time around then will be fine. If her feelings for Tom proceed to grow at a faster pace than I expect them to, I'll let you know. Donna was asleep. I got up and went in and took a shower by myself. Three weeks, not a long time at all, but still, on the longish end of the month or two that the voice had given me from the beginning. It wasn't enough, but even as I thought that, I knew that it was. I had served as her bridge, but she had served as far more than that to me. she was the bridge to get me over Carolyn, but she was also someone who gave me hope that I could put aside my own selfish interests, at least for long enough to concern myself with someone else's problems for a time. I went back in the room and crawled back into bed. Without waking up, Donna scooted over closer to me and I spooned with her. We were both awake before ten o'clock, and we got dressed so that I could take her home. On Thursday, I took Donna over to meet the great love of her life for the very first time, at least in this time through. We got her signed up for the next class that would be beginning that Saturday. I didn't quite get half off of her tuition, something about signing both up for the same class. I did get a total of forty per cent off, including the discount for prepaying for the whole flight training. Donna was excited about learning to fly. I didn't see any reaction at all, from either Donna or Tom, that would signal to me that they found themselves attracted to each other. It bothered me a little bit. How could he be so right for her if neither one was that drawn to the other? Jimmy, not everybody is as obvious as your father. They noticed each other. This isn't a setting that either would feel able to express their interest in any case. Remember, Donna is happy right now, being your girlfriend. Tom is being a professional about it. Ultimately, it will be. Don't try to either help it or hurt it. From this point forward, we'll just let things happen naturally. It will take a while. Donna is more than half in love with you. We left the airport and went out to lunch at the A&W in Huntington Beach. Donna was so full of anticipation about Saturday. She asked me how old I thought Tom was, and whether I knew if he was married or not. If it hadn't been for what the voice had told me, I probably wouldn't have given either question a second of thought. That was due to how casually she had asked the questions. I told her that he was probably in his mid to late thirties, and that I didn't know if he was married or not. I took her straight home after lunch, telling her that I had a lot of studying to do for my Finance class the next day. I arranged to give her a ride to the airport on Saturday, and to pick her up after class. Over the course of the next two weeks, I noticed that Donna was becoming slightly less involved with me, even when the two of us were together, it seemed like she was thinking about other things. We still went out, and we made love too, which she sometimes instigated, it was just that she didn't seem to be all the way there anymore. Once, late in the second week, I asked her if anything was wrong. She looked at me for over a minute, not saying anything, and then she just said that she was a little tired, and might be getting a summer cold or something. Jimmy, you might want to take charge right now. She is already beginning to have strong feelings for Tom. Neither of them have really spoken on a personal level much, but she is definitely infatuated with him. "Now is a probably a good time. You said that you didn't want her to feel bad or to cheat on you. "Donna, I feel like something is changing with us. It's like we're starting to drift apart or something. I don't know why." "I told you it isn't anything, Jimmy, just a little cold or something." "Maybe it's just me then, maybe I'm starting to think that we aren't heading anywhere. Even when we make love, it doesn't feel the same anymore. I don't have a cold. I think that it's something about us together. Don't you feel it too? Like we aren't connecting together as well as we did? Is it just me." "What are you saying? Are you trying to break up with me?" "No, not break up, but I think we both need to admit that things have cooled off for both of us." "I don't understand, how cooled off. Don't you like me anymore?" "You know, that's what it is. I do like you. I like you a lot. I like everything about you. It's just that like is all I feel. I don't want to lead you on Donna. I like you, but that isn't the same as love. You deserve to be loved. I recognize the difference because of Carolyn. I knew that I loved her. What we have, it isn't the same as that, and I don't think it ever will be." "I don't know what to say. I like you a lot, I think I might even love you Jimmy. I wouldn't want you to lie to me, Jimmy. You've always treated me good, and I've liked that a lot. If you don't love me, I guess I can accept that. Can we still be friends though? I'd hate it if you didn't want to stay friends with me." "We can always be friends. I don't want to hold you back though, not if somebody comes along that's right for you. I feel like there might be someone like that for me too, not yet, but someday. We've always gotten along good, by being honest with each other. I didn't want for us to not have this talk, and then have something happen later that would result in hard feelings." "You are breaking up with me then?" "Not breaking up, Donna. I think it's time that we decide on what our relationship is going to be. Are we going to be more friends, and less lovers?" "If that's how you feel, Jimmy, just take me home now then. You should have just said that you wanted to break up with me in the first place." "Is that what you really want, Donna, for us to fight now? That isn't what I want. If you are honest, you will admit that you want the same thing that I do." "What do you mean? I've never wanted to break us up or change things." "Donna, you have a choice about how this is going to go. If you want it to be all my fault, my idea, then that's all right." "I'm sorry, Jimmy. I don't want us to fight either. It's just that I never expected you to say this to me. If I've been acting different, I'm sorry. I don't want you to break up with me, not right now." "Okay, then, we won't break up. You know where we stand now though, we're friends first, and we can be honest with each other. If things are going to keep changing between us, we need to be honest about that." We made love again. It was really strange too, because it was much more like it had been before, closer and soothing. That was the last time we made love together. Less than a week later, Donna sat right in my car, in front of her house, crying and apologizing, begging me to understand and forgive her. She told me that Tom had takern her out to dinner after class the night before, and the two of them had somehow wound up in his apartment making love. She said it was totally unplanned, and that she was surprised that it had happened. I drove away from her house very upset. It didn't have to happen like that. Now she felt bad, and I felt badly betrayed. This feeling would be reflected always in my memories of Donna. It hurt me a lot. I told you that someone had to be the bad guy. You didn't follow through with things when you had the chance. If you have to feel bad, feel bad because you allowed this to happen. Don't be hard on Donna, she didn't want to hurt you. One month later, Donna and Tom got married. Two months after that, I got my pilot's license. Donna got her license too. By the time I got my license, I had pretty well gotten over Donna's infidelity. It had been fated after all. I wished that I had stuck to my guns when I had the chance to end it earlier. The trouble was, first Carolyn, and now Donna had cheated on me. That bothered me. Was it a pattern? It was January, and the voice had just told me that it was time for me to go see Connie. I had dawdled, delaying to the point where I would have less than nine months with Connie, instead of the year that I had originally been offered. I hadn't been in any mood to be with anyone else though, and the voice had allowed me to delay. I just hoped that I could gather myself enough to help Connie, and prevent what had occurred to her the last time around. The voice told me where to go to find her again. We would meet again in the library. When I saw her again, she had the same effect on me that she'd had earlier. I tried to remember why I had kept trying to put this off. ------- Chapter 19 I made slow progress towards her, keeping a rack of books between us, so that she wouldn't see me approaching her. I paused for just a minute to try to figure out what it might be about her that attracted me so strongly. I had mentioned earlier that it wasn't really anything about her face or her figure. She looked okay, more than just okay, but there just wasn't anything remarkable in her looks, anything that stood out and set her apart from the other girls. I couldn't place what it was, but, whatever it was, she had it. If someone had lined ten girls up, taken at random from her high school, and then had asked passers by to pick the most attractive girl from the bunch, she wouldn't have been picked, not even once. "My million dollar girl, I've found you again, at last." I had worked my way over to her, making my final approach to her back. She had to turn around in order to see me. "The nine cent washer boy, from Washington. Fancy meeting you here. What brings you to a public library of all places?" "I've been looking for you. I've looked everywhere too. This was the next to last place on my list." "What was your last place?" "The police department." "Well, now that you've found me, what's next?" "Do you date guys that you meet in a library?" "Sometimes, but not unless they live in the city where said library is located." "I live in Fullerton." "I thought you said Westminster?" "I told you that I was going to move, just to be closer to you." "I'll have to think about it." "Would you go out with me if I could guess your favorite color, your favorite movie, and the color of your underpants?" "Okay. Go ahead and guess. If you get all of them right, I'll go out with you." Red, Bambi and white. ""All right. I'm going to turn around so that I can't see what you're writing. Write all the information down, and then I'll tell you my guesses." She laughed, and ripped out a piece of paper from her notebook. I made sure that I didn't turn back around until she told me to. "Ready. Remember, you have to guess all three correct, or else you lose." "Let's see. Your favorite color is, red, right?" She nodded, not too impressed with me yet. "Your favorite movie is, Bambi, right?" She nodded that I had guessed correctly again. "Your underpants are..." Jimmy, wait. She wrote down that she never wears underpants. That isn't true, but that's what she wrote. "Hold on a minute, yes, I can see two answers here. One answer is what you wrote, and the other is the real color of your underpants. You wrote that you never wear underpants, and yet, you are wearing white ones. How can this be? Let me see your paper." She was just staring at me, shocked at the three correct answers that I'd given. I took the piece of paper from her hand. She didn't resist me. She had written: 'Red. Bambi. Never wear panties'. "How did you do that? That's impossible!" "For me, not finding you again would have been impossible, this was just a parlor trick." "Tell me how you did that." "I promised never to divulge the secret, sorry." "Can you do that with anyone?" "Not anyone, only girls that I'm really attracted to." "Do it again. Guess my birthday." "If I do, will you go out with me Tomorrow night?" "The exact month, day and year. If you can guess that, then I'll go out with you tomorrow." "Do you have a driver's license?" "Yes." "All right, let me think. You have the license in your purse, right?" "Yes, in my wallet, the one that's in my purse." March 17, 1940. "Okay. Be very quiet now while I concentrate on it. I've got it! March seventeenth, nineteen forty. A St. Patrick's Day baby, Right?" "How can you possibly know that. Nobody can do that." "So will you go out with me tomorrow night?" "Sure. Pick me up at my house at seven o'clock." She gathered all of her stuff up, and started to walk away from me. "Hey, you didn't give me an address." "I know." She laughed, and hurried away from me. So will the boy that she has a date with at that same time. Yes. I don't have any suggestion for you. Friday night at ten before seven, I show up at Connie's house with a small bouquet made up of pine cones, pine needles attached to branches, and gardenia's. An interesting combination, one that I'd never have thought of on my own. The lady who put it together for me at the flower shop had looked at me really funny when I had ordered that arrangement from her. Connie came to the door wearing jeans and a sweater, red of course, and carrying a light jacket. I handed her the bouquet and she started laughing when she recognized what it contained. "I guess that none of my secrets are safe from you now. At the risk of repeating myself for the millionth time, how did you know?" "Know what?" I tried to look puzzled by her question. "About gardenia's, pine cones and pine needles." "What about them?" "Don't you think that's an unusual combination?" "I guess they might be around here, but those are the kind of bouquets we always give to our dates back in Washington." "You're kidding me? Really?" "Its the combination of smells. I think it makes girls more receptive to passion." "You think that pine smell and gardenia smell together will get girls hot?" "Why don't you go ahead and take a big whiff, and then you tell me." "It doesn't make me hot." "Are you sure?" "I'm pretty sure." She leaned into the bouquet and took a big sniff. "Nope, doesn't do a thing for me." "That's really strange. Whenever I smell it, it turns me on like crazy." "Well, maybe I should just leave this in the house then. I wouldn't want you to lose all of your self control." "That might be better. Just being around you is stimulation enough." "I had another date for tonight, and I had to cancel it because of you." "I'm flattered that you did that." "I always keep my word. Where are we going tonight?" "Wherever you want to go." "Money's no object then?" "Who's going to be paying?" "You are, of course." "Well then, I guess that money is an object. I only have enough to buy three rubber washers, four toilet plungers and one kitchen sink, that's it." We walked over to my car and I helped her in. I drove over to an Italian restaurant, asking her, as we drove, if she liked Italian food. She said that she did, and so I continued driving toward the restaurant. When she asked me about the car, I told her that I had been lucky with some investments. "Are you rich?" "Does it matter?" "Sure, it always matters." "Well, then, I guess I'm not rich, but I'd like to be someday." "Where are you going to college?" "Fullerton JC." "What are you studying?" "I just finished a gym class for tennis, a Finance class, and one in Real Estate. Next semester, I'm taking Accounting, and another Real Estate class. I just got my pilot's license a short time ago, and I'm getting in a few hours of flying every week." "Isn't that expensive? Flying an airplane has to cost a lot of money." "Yes, too much, but I need to get in some additional flight hours so that my license will have fewer restrictions on it." "What kind of restrictions?" "Carrying passengers, flying times, things like that." "Could you take me flying some time?" "Not now, but I will be able to by this time next month." "I'd like to go up some time. I've never been in a small plane before." "Well, they want me to get more hours in before I take up passengers. They think it's important that I be able to bring you back down safely too. It ruins the effect if you wind up crashing." "Do you crash a lot?" "With an airplane, nobody crashes a lot. But I didn't crash even once this whole week." "I think I'll wait to go with you until after you feel a lot more confident." "I wish I could wait until I get better too, but they require me to be right there in the plane when I'm flying." "You are a little bit crazy, you know that?" "What do we want on our pizza?" "Why don't you try to guess that too?" "Do I get a kiss if I get all of the toppings right?" "Right here?" "No, when I take you home." "Okay, I'm thinking of three separate toppings." Mushrooms, anchovies and bell peppers. "I think I'd rather skip the kiss than order a pizza like that. Couldn't you have picked more normal toppings." "No hints. Can you do it or not?" Our waiter came over to take our order. "Can we order a large pizza with half of it with one set of toppings and the other half with another set?" "You have to pay for all of the toppings, thirty cents a topping, is that okay?" "Sure, that's fine. We'd like a large pizza with mushrooms, anchovies and bell peppers on one half, and black olives, sausage and pepperoni on the other half." "Tell me how you do that? Are you a mind reader?" "It's a trick, and "I'm not telling you how I do it." "Tell me the name of the first boy who ever kissed me." "What's my reward if I get that one?" "What do you want?" "It wouldn't matter what I wanted, I couldn't possibly know something like that." "How were you able to guess all of that other stuff then?" "Liking red is a very common color preference for a girl, guys mostly like blue. You are the right age to still like Bambi, and when I was standing behind you, I could just make out the tops of your panties when I looked straight down." "What about what I wrote about not wearing panties?" "That was a guess, based mostly on the smirk that I saw on your face while I was about to tell you they were white. Even when I guessed the first two correctly, you still weren't worried." "How did you know about my birth date then?" "If I tell you all of my secret methods, then you won't go out with me again." "Well, knowing how you did those other things is a big relief to me." "How's that pizza?" "Good, can I have a piece of yours? How did you guess my favorite toppings?" "You've got to let me keep some secrets." We stayed there at the restaurant until nearly closing time, at almost eleven. We were just talking back and forth, getting to know each other. When I took her home, I did get a kiss, but it wasn't the kind of kiss that I had gotten used to with Donna. This was a very reserved kiss, barely a touch on my lips, from her lips. I guess it was that charisma thing though, because even that tiny peck left me hoping for more. I asked her for another date for the next night, but she told me that she would be busy then, going out with the guy that she'd broken her date with. She did agree to go horseback riding with me on Sunday though. I'd never been up on a horse, except when I was five years old, and that was only for long enough for me to have my picture taken. On Sunday, we went over to Chino and rented two horses at this place that she knew. She was an avid rider, and took great glee in watching me bouncing up and down on my horse. It was two hours of pain and misery for me, but that didn't seem to bother her very much. I was starting to wonder whether she liked me at all. After the first hour and a half, I got off of my horse and led him with the reins. My balls were throbbing from all of that bouncing. At first Connie rode on ahead, but she came back within five minutes and just walked her horse at the same pace that I was walking. She took off about fifteen minutes later, after telling me that she was going for a gallop and would be back in a few minutes. I kept walking on the trail that she said would take me back to the barn where we had rented the horses. When she got back, her face was all flushed with the excitement of her gallop, and she stayed with me until we got back where we had started from. "Thank you for taking me riding, Jimmy. I don't get out to do that too much anymore. I'm sorry if it made you sore." "I don't know how those cowboys and farmers managed in the old days, before cars were invented. I really don't know how they could stand it, riding a horse everywhere." "It's really a lot of fun, once you know how to ride." "I think I'll just have to take your word for that. Right now, I'm feeling a little bit sore." "You didn't have to bounce like that you know?" "Now you tell me?" "Well, it was pretty funny at first, and then, I just assumed that you'd figure it out for yourself." "I'm sure that it will get better, in a month or two." "I'll just have to make it up to you some way. Pull the car over and park it." I found a safe place at a turn out in a short time and did what she'd asked. She moved over closer to me. "You can kiss me Jimmy. I'm sorry for laughing at you before." I did kiss her, and this time, she let me kiss her good. I had my tongue in her mouth, and we were playing dueling tongues. She was squirming around in her seat when we finished that kiss. "Is that better? Are you still mad at me now?" "I wasn't ever mad at you Connie, but yes, that is better, thank you." "Oh, I enjoyed it too. You have your pine cones and gardenia's, but for me, riding a horse for a couple of hours really does get me hot." She blushed, but kept looking at me, trying to see how I'd react to her admission. "Makes you wonder why there aren't more cowgirls than cowboys. I can see where bouncing around in that saddle all day could be entertaining for a girl. Maybe I ought to buy a motorcycle for when we go out on dates. I heard that some girls like that too." "I'd ride on one, just to see what it's like, but I doubt that it could compare to riding a horse." I kissed her again, and this time, I slid over in the seat, to get out from behind the steering wheel. She didn't give me the same response as she had with the first kiss. I guess our earlier conversation had made her a little self conscious. I had been about to try to get a little titty feel, but something told me that it would be a big mistake. I released her and slid back behind the wheel. "Okay, now I feel a lot better. Where can we go to now? I'm hungry, but I don't know what I want to eat. Any suggestions?" "I like Mexican food. I know a really good restaurant in Stanton. It isn't expensive either. Would you want to go all the way out there to eat?" "Sure." The tension, if there was any, had evaporated. As we drove over to Stanton we talked about safer things, like school and where she was planning on going to college in the Fall. She had applied to Stanford, but, while she was confident that she'd be accepted, she needed to win several scholarships in order to be able to afford to go there. She had applied to UCLA also, just in case she wasn't able to attend Stanford. I told her that I planned on specializing in real estate investing, and on getting filthy rich before I was forty years old. I told her that I hoped to never actually have a real job, or to have to work for someone else. We got to the restaurant, and sat down to order. We finally decided on about six of their a la carte items, Connie telling me that I'd love all of them. We shared everything, six plates and two forks. They had three different kinds of sauces that you could spice up the flavor with. I didn't like the hottest one, but I used the two milder sauces. Connie sprinkled the hottest sauce all over every bite that she ate, and laughed at my refusal to do the same. It really was all very good, and we spent about two hours at the restaurant. It was dark when we started back to Fullerton. "I really had a good time today, Jimmy. You were a good sport about the horseback riding too." We were driving through Anaheim now, heading towards Harbor Blvd. Connie moved over in the seat, moving closer to me. "Do you want to go somewhere for a little while to talk? We can go over by the Santa Ana river, I know a place." I wasn't sure about what she was offering me, or about what she was really expecting. I think she wants to do more than talk, Jimmy. You might want to take things slow though, let her set the pace. "That's sounds good. How do I get there?" She gave me directions, and soon we were on this dirt path that led to a large gravel filled opening. There were already six or seven cars parked there, all of them parked so that they were facing towards the river. It was called a river, but right then, it was more of a puddle than anything that I'd call a river. I parked, and then we started to talk, pausing every few minutes to kiss and make out. We sat there for at least an hour and a half. I didn't try to move very fast with her. In fact, the farthest that I got in that whole period of time was the pad of my hand touching the side of her right breast. She kind of flinched when I did that, so I quickly moved my hand away. "Jimmy, I like you, but this is only our second date." I think that it kind of hit me right then. I was really starting from scratch with Connie. Once more into the breach, but this time, there would be a big difference. It was going to be harder this time than it had ever been before. I thought about how it had been with Carolyn, and then, with Donna, but both of them had been experienced, and much more willing to get right to the heart of things. With Connie, I was going to have to continually be trying to break new ground. Was I really up for that? I thought we had resolved that question, Jimmy? "Sorry, Connie. I didn't mean anything by it." She actually grabbed my head, and pulled my face back to hers. We kept kissing, but to me, it felt like I was standing still, marching in place. I already knew all of the next steps to take, and I was used to taking them. With Connie there were no next steps, at least not now, and probably some of those steps we'd never get to. The natural progression was missing for me. "Is there something wrong, Jimmy? You aren't mad or anything are you?" "No, it isn't that. I don't know what it is. I know that we just started seeing each other, and that you're a nice girl. I guess I got spoiled with my last girlfriend. I'll try to be good." "I know that there are a lot of girls that will do more than I will. I'm never going to be like some of them. I'm going to save myself until I get married. If you want a fast girl, then I guess you don't want me." "That isn't what I meant at all, Connie. It isn't about nice or fast anyway. I like you fine. I was just thinking about how we're just getting started, that's what I meant. It takes time to get comfortable with the idea that you can't expect certain things anymore. People have different standards and speeds for things. We'll stay within what's comfortable to you." "I just don't want you to think that I'd ever go that far with you. I won't, not ever. Unless, we get married someday, but I doubt that we will ever do that. I don't want you thinking that I'm going to change my mind about that, because I'm not." "Connie, I think that I understand exactly what you're telling me. I didn't ask you out because I thought that you'd be falling all over yourself, begging me to have my way with you. I asked you out because I thought we'd enjoy being together. I've enjoyed myself today, at least the parts that weren't painful. If we're kissing, and I try to put my hand where you don't want it, you just have to tell me to stop, and I will. You do know that it's natural for a guy to try to do more with a girl, right?" "Oh, sure. I expect you to try, sometimes, but, I would like it if you could take no for an answer too." "I can, and I will." "Well, give me another kiss, and we'll see about that." I kissed her for a minute, and then I started moving my hand back up along her side again. I took it slow, waiting for her to stop me again. When I got to the side of her breast again, she didn't do anything to stop me, or to make me move away. I began kissing her neck then, putting just a little more pressure against her breast, and she still didn't protest. I took my hand away and stopped kissing her. "That was nice, Jimmy. Not too fast, but still, I could tell that you liked it. It's getting late, and I have school tomorrow. Can you take me home now?" "Will you go out with me again next week?" "That depends, where to, and what day?" "Friday night, to eat, and to go see a movie. Saturday to ride my new motorcycle, and to have a picnic, and then Sunday, but I don't know what we'll be doing." "That would be my whole weekend, Jimmy. Are you sure that we should monopolize each other's time like that?" "Well, if that's too much, what do you suggest?" "I didn't say that it was too much. Let's go out Friday night, and then we'll leave Saturday and Sunday open. I won't make any other plans without first talking to you. Are you really going to buy a motorcycle?" "I am. I think it might be fun to go down the coast on a bike. I haven't been too far South yet." "Do you even know how to ride a motorcycle?" "I'll show you that on Saturday, if you decide to go with me on that picnic." We got to her house and I walked her to her door. We talked for another few minutes, and then she went inside. She had a good time, Jimmy. She's already made up her mind that she'll go out with you all three days. She didn't want you to know how much she already likes you. She's a little bit afraid of how fast she's starting to like you. If I do make the pain disappear, you have to take her horseback riding again next Sunday. I'll teach you how to ride well enough so that it doesn't hurt you the next time. She really loves riding a horse. The voice took all of the ache away. I really wished that I knew how he did that. I wanted to get up early and start my new classes. The real estate course that I was taking had to do with commercial real estate, and income producing property management. I hoped that I'd pick up information that I hadn't had the last time through. The accounting course was bound to be helpful. The last time through, I had no formal training in accounting, and it was reflected in all of my sloppy record keeping for my properties. It had cost me a lot of money in lost deductions when I couldn't prove expenses, and had to do without the tax write offs. I was looking forward to improving on that greatly, this time through. After classes, I went over to a bike shop and bought myself a big, used, bike. It was a 1955 Triumph T100, with a 500cc engine. The voice changed me and made me competent to ride it, and I was soon tooling along, enjoying the feel of riding. When I drove back to the bike shop and completed the sale, I needed someone to drive my car back to my house for me. I was about to ask the owner if he could deliver it to my house, but then the voice interrupted me. Jimmy, why not ask that girl if she'll drive it over for you? You can give her a ride back here on the back of your new motorcycle. It will give you practice for carrying a passenger. Jimmy, perhaps you might like a little recreational sex before you really start dating Connie? This could be your chance. The woman that he was touting to me was standing at the front parts counter of the bike shop waiting to be helped. She had brought in her little Cushman motor scooter for some repair work. She looked to be about twenty one years old. She was tall, at least five eight or nine, on the slim side, with long black hair, and was dressed in jeans with a black tee shirt. The first thing that I noticed was that she wore no bra under her shirt Well, you aren't exactly going together yet. I don't see the harm in a casual liaison with a willing partner who is looking for exactly the same thing that you are. Just then, someone came up from the back and started waiting on her. In a few minutes, she had signed the repair order and was turning around towards me. "Excuse me. I was wondering if you could help me with something while you're waiting for your scooter to be fixed?" She smiled, curious at this new approach. Wondering what I would say to her next. "That depends, what kind of help?" "Well, I just bought a motorcycle, and I need someone to help me to get it home. I have my car here too. I live about three miles from here, and I was wondering if you could follow me in my car, and then, I'd give you a lift back here. I'd really appreciate it." "How about if I ride the motorcycle, and follow your car home? I've always wanted to ride a bike like that." "That works for me. Whenever you're ready." "I'm ready now. I don't really want to hang around here for the four or five hours that they said the repairs will take." "Well, as payment for your help, how about I take you out for some lunch after we get my bike home. That should help to kill at least an hour or so?" "That might be good, I accept." I handed her the keys to the Triumph and went out and got in my Caddy. I waited for her to get the thing started and straighten the kick stand. She seemed to know what she was doing, and after I started heading out, she shifted into gear, and followed right behind me. In less than five minutes, we pulled up into the driveway. She parked the bike alongside my car and set the kickstand, turning off the bike's engine. "That's a lot of bike. Sure feels better than my little putt putt." "Would you like to come in and get a drink while I put the paperwork away, and then we can go to lunch?" "Will I be safe in your big house?" "Well, my mom's there, so I guess you'll be pretty safe. She hardly ever lets me ravish a girl at home, not in broad daylight anyway." "I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. I guess I'll have to settle for your lunch offer then." "Come on in, it won't take a minute. What's your name, by the way? My mom's going to want to know." "Dee Dee Watson, what's yours?" "Jimmy Gordon. Hello Dee Dee, pleased to meet you." "Likewise, Jimmy. You think your mom will let me have a beer?" "I'm sure she will. Let's go ask her." We went in the house, and I introduced her to my mom. My mother started grilling me as soon as she found out that I'd bought a motorcycle. I went and put the paperwork for the bike in my room, and then came back downstairs to find my mom and Dee Dee each having a beer, and talking together about baking cookies, no less. I grabbed myself a Coke from the fridge and started drinking it while I listened to them carrying on about their best cookie recipes. "I hate to break this up ma, but I did promise to take Dee Dee to lunch for helping me with the bike, and I'm really hungry." When I went out with her, I was expecting to take the Triumph, but she said that she'd prefer us taking the Caddy to riding behind me on the bike. I helped her in the car and went over to get in on the driver's side. "Do you have a favorite place for lunch?" "Anywhere that serves burgers and fries is good with me. I'm not that much involved with fancy food." I took her to this hamburger place near my school. They served really good burgers, big slabs of hamburger patties, with fresh pickles, onions, lettuce and tomatoes. Their buns were big too, so one burger was plenty for anyone. We ordered and then took a seat at one of the tables inside. There were tables outside too, but it was more comfortable inside due to the cold. We were eating and talking. I found out that she was twenty three years old, and had just gotten divorced from her high school sweetheart. She said that they hadn't really known each other too well, and had confused being hot for each other with being in love. She was renting there in Fullerton until she decided what she wanted to do. Her ex lived in San Juan Capistrano, a small town about a forty minute drive to the South. They didn't have any children. I told her that I was eighteen, just starting college this year, and that we'd moved out here less than four months before from Washington. We finished our burger, fries and drinks, and Dee Dee looked at her watch. "I still have another four hours or so to wait before my scooter's ready. Do you mind running me home Jim? I can get a ride back over to the shop from one of my neighbors later." I told her that I'd be happy to, and we went out to the car, and she told me where to go to get to her apartment. I parked in front of the building that she indicated. It looked like four apartments to each building. There must have been at least eight building in the complex. "Do you want to come in and see my place?" "Sure. How much is the rent here? I'm thinking of moving out on my own. Just because of the privacy." We were walking towards her apartment, which was the second one from the street. It was a small one bedroom apartment with a small kitchen and an even smaller dining area. The one bathroom was in the bedroom. "You mean for the screwing. Right? I pay $45.00 a month, that includes free water, but I have to pay my own electricity too. It isn't that great of an apartment, but it's affordable for me right now. I'm working at Kimberly Clark, and the pay is better than some other things where I could work." "Not just for the screwing. Not that I get any chances for that. I just like the idea of coming and going when I please. Not having to answer to anybody for what I want to do." "Speaking of screwing, I need to ask you something, and I hope that I'm not being too bold? I've been really missing that for these past five months. I did you a favor, Jim, do you think you could help me out with my little problem too?" "Well, if you're talking about screwing, I'm sure that we can help each other." It turned out that she was, and it also turned out that we did help each other out. Three times we helped each other. She was a very willing partner, but she had some kind of a problem with her flexibility. She wasn't able to open her legs very wide at all, and if you tried to make them go wider, it hurt her. It wasn't even comfortable for her doing it when she was on top. We finally settled on doggy style, and then, for the second and third times, we did it laying down, with me spooned behind her. She made me wear a rubber each time, and I was just as happy to anyway. The rubber kept me from coming too quick. We were laying there, both of us sweating, since she kept her heater turned up real high. "That's just what I needed, thanks. I was starting to miss Tony, but now I can get back to thinking more clearly about my future. It's funny, you can stop liking a guy, but, when you get horny, he starts looking better and better to you. I've really got to start going out more, and meeting some people. I don't want to go without any loving for another five months. It's too bad that you're so young, Jim, we could help each other out from time to time if you were just a few years older." I knew that she was telling me that this had been a one time only happening for us. I didn't mind. It had been good for me to just get a little, without any complications, or having to jump through hoops for it. I was grateful to the voice for suggesting it to me. It had been about three and a half hours since we had left the bike shop together. I asked her if it would be all right if I took a shower, promising her, that afterwards, I'd run her over to the bike shop. We took a shower together. She really had nice tits, small, but nice and firm. I had enjoyed the time that we had spent together. We drove over to the bike shop, and Dee Dee kissed me, and thanked me for "all of the rides". I told her that I had enjoyed the rides that she'd given me too. I drove off, figuring that we probably wouldn't see each other again. I was wrong, we'd see each other one more time. ------- Chapter 20 This semester, I had no Tuesday or Thursday classes on my schedule. I had planned on continuing my flight training on these days, building up my hours, and getting some more certifications. While I was at the airport that Tuesday, the day after buying my motorcycle, I ran into an unexpected vocational opportunity for Tiny. I met a man in the flight operations office, another private pilot who was in the local area setting up a showroom for his line of boats. These were small recreational boats, ranging from about fourteen feet in length to about twenty one feet. I had come inside to get some weather information for a flight plan that I was hoping to file for a Thursday flight to Fresno. This man was talking on the pay phone, he was talking to someone, and beginning to sound very upset. One of the words he kept mentioning over and over again was boats. My boats, our boats, fine boats, line of boats. When he finally hung up, I heard him muttering about how this development could set him back several months. "Excuse me. I'm sorry, but I couldn't help overhearing you earlier. Are you in the boat business?" He looked me over, and then admitted that he was. "If you have a card sir, I have a good friend who has been looking to get into your industry." "In what capacity?" "In any capacity that he can, just to get his foot in the door. He is an avid fisherman, and quite knowledgeable about recreational fishing boats. He has been looking for a chance to combine his vocation with his hobby." "What does he do for a living now?" "He is in quality control for a regional distributor of industrial gases, but he wants to start using his skills in the boating or fishing industry. That's where his interests lie." "I'm Fred Martin, and I'm the National Sales manager for Viking Boats. I flew in this morning to have a meeting with the man who was supposed to head up our new showroom in Costa Mesa. That was him on the telephone, telling me that he was no longer free to manage our showroom. Our grand opening is a week away, and he tells me this now. Well look, I'm sure that you don't want to hear all about my problems. Let me give you the address for our new showroom, and you can have your friend contact someone there, after we open, and fill out an application." He gave me a brochure of his boats that had an address and phone numbers stamped on the bottom of the front panel. I took it, thanking him for his time. "Say, does your friend live anywhere close to Costa Mesa?" "He lives in Westminster. That's about a ten minute drive or so." "It looks like I might have to stay here and open the showroom myself, and I could use someone who knows the area. Someone who would drive around the area, getting me whatever I need to get up and running for the opening. I couldn't promise that he'd get himself a regular job out of this, but I'd see him, and I'd be able to get some idea about his knowledge of recreational boating. If he does a good job for me, I could give him a recommendation with whoever I hire to be our showroom manager." "I'll see him this afternoon, and tell him. When would you want him to show up at the showroom?" "If he could be there tomorrow, at eight in the morning, that would be a big help to me. What's his name, by the way?" "His name is Malcolm Bueller, but everybody calls him Tiny. He's a real nice guy, and a willing worker. He used to work for my father, in the Navy, and my dad always said that Tiny was the best assistant that he had ever had." "I was in the Navy myself, during the war. How old is this friend of yours?" "I'd say about forty years old or so, but I don't know for sure." "You have him there at eight, and I'll put him to work. If he was in the Navy, at least I know that he can follow orders." I went right over to see Tiny, but he was at work. I told Terri about my meeting this man who was a big manager with a boat company, and how Tiny could go down the next morning and apply for a job with his company. Terri told me that Tiny was only working Tuesday's and Friday's now at Airco, and he was already looking for another job. I told her that I'd be back after five that evening to talk to Tiny about the man he was to meet, and the opportunity that it might lead to. Back at the airport, I did my preflight checks and went up to fly for another hour. The voice had already given me all of the piloting skills and knowledge that I'd need, but I had to put in the flight hours in any case. I loved flying though, so it wasn't any burden for me to do this. I needed some paperwork signed for my log book, and I also needed to see about getting an hour of specialized instruction on instruments, so I went over to the company where I'd taken my flight lessons. For the first time since our breakup, I saw Donna again. She was sitting in the outer office, waiting for Tom to be done, because they were going out to look at houses when he was. "Hi Donna. How have you been?" She had looked up when I had opened the door, and I could see that she had gotten nervous at seeing me so unexpectedly again. I tried to sound casual, to put her nerves at ease. I had gotten over most of my anger with her, and didn't want her fearful of me in any case. "Hi Jimmy. I didn't expect to see you here. I thought you were done with your flight training?" "You're never done, as long as the money doesn't run out. There's always something else to be learned, and it all costs money. Is Tom here? I need to ask him about a lesson." Just then Tom came out from the back offices. "Hey Jimmy, what's up?" Tom and I had been very strained in our relationship after he and Donna had gotten together. I couldn't help bearing him a grudge when he already knew that Donna and I were together, and still he'd seduced her. The thing was though, even when he knew how pissed off at him I was, Tom still treated me the same, and had, on more than one occasion, let pass some words that I had spoken to him in anger. He still supervised all of my training, and had been the first to congratulate me when I'd passed my flight exam, and later the check ride. Tom was a professional, able to separate our personal differences, and still provide me with the best instruction that he could give. In spite of the situation with Donna, I had felt comfortable with Tom continuing as my instructor. "I need to schedule a couple instrument lessons with you, Tom. When can you fit me in?" He pulled out his pocket appointment book and gave me some dates and times that he was open. I picked two hours on Thursday, one in the morning, and the other in the afternoon. When we were done, I turned to Donna again. "Look, Donna, I just want to tell you that I'm over whatever it was that I felt when you first told me about how things were with you and Tom. I want you to know that I'm fine with how things are now, and I wish both of you all the best in life. I want us all to be friends." She nodded, but didn't say anything to me. I started to leave. "Jimmy, thank you for saying that to me. It means a lot to me, not having you be mad anymore. I never wanted to hurt you." I smiled at her, and then I left. I wanted to tell her that her happiness was important to me, and that I was glad that she had found Tom, even though it meant that she and I were through. I wanted to, but I also wanted to tell her some other things, things that she wouldn't want to hear from me. I settled with just leaving it like it was. I had been taking $5,000.00 over to Paul Frenchak, every month for the past three or four months, for him to use to run his mission. Every time I went there though, he was after me to set up a meeting with my father so that he could tell him about some plans that he had to increase his program. I told him that my father didn't want to meet with him, and didn't want to increase his support in any way. Still, whenever I saw him, we went through the same ritual. I was driving over to Los Angeles to give him another $5,000.00. Jimmy, before you go to the mission, I need for you to do something else for me. I want you to go by and pick someone up, and then take him over to Paul's' mission with you. He's in Norwalk, it isn't too far out of your way. I'll show you where to find him. The voice led me over to a run down neighborhood, and then to an alleyway behind some shacks. There were overturned trash cans in the alley, and the smell of piss was everywhere. Go straight ahead, he's over between that building and the wire fence. Wake him up and ask him if he'd like to make ten dollars. I drove forward until I got to the place he's told me to go. There, lying propped up against the shack, was a bum, sleeping apparently. I rolled my passenger side window down. When he didn't move or wake up, I yelled at him. "HEY! WAKE UP! YOU, you want to make some money?" After I had started yelling, he opened his eyes and tried to bring me into some kind of focus. "Do you want to make $10.00?" He tried getting to his feet, but he was having a lot of trouble with it. Finally, he managed to stand, and then he turned towards me, and lurched drunkenly towards my car. Jimmy, he's in as good a shape right now as he ever gets. Tell him to get in if he wants to make $10.00. "Hop in pal, I'm going to take you someplace where you can make ten bucks." He couldn't even figure out how to open my car door. I had to lean over and pull it open for him. That's when I got my first good whiff of what he smelled like. The smell disappeared. Wow, another good trick, one that I could make a fortune with, if I only knew how he did that. It took a couple minutes, but finally this bum figured out how to get in the car and sit down. Even without the smell, he looked stinky. I couldn't help trying to keep as far to my side as I could, turning my face to my window every time I took a breath. I turned back to look at the guy again, and he was sleeping. He was in the car for thirty seconds, and he was already fast asleep. Those Cadillacs were comfortable, but that was ridiculous. Still, I was glad that he was asleep or passed out, because that meant I didn't need to watch him to make sure he didn't do anything to my car. Jimmy, when you get to the mission, tell Paul that your father wants him to take this man in and get him dried out. Tell him that his future funding depends on his success with keeping this man sober, and with getting him back on his feet. Give him an extra five hundred dollars and tell him that there will be more in the future, if he succeeds. You do, I already checked. You have $736.00, in addition to the five thousand dollars. Don't worry, I'm working on several things for you. I'm not going to let you run out of money. We had gotten over to the mission, and I parked right in front. I didn't want to leave that guy sleeping in my car, but I didn't see Mr. Frenchak anywhere around. I could see that the mission doors had been locked and there were about thirty women and children sitting all around the building outside. I got out of my car and went over to some women and asked them where Mr. Frenchak was. They said that he'd driven off with a few men, taking them to their jobs. He was supposed to be back shortly. I waited for forty minutes, standing beside my car, and watching that guy sleeping on the passenger seat. When I'd just about given up hope, Mr. Frenchak pulled up right behind my car. Seeing me, he jumped out, anxious I'm sure, to get his money. "Jimmy! Good to see you, and you're just in time. How is your family? Well, I hope?" "We're all good, thanks. My dad needs you to do something for him Mr. Frenchak, He told me to tell you that it was important to him too." "If it's in my power, you can be assured that it will be done... Tell me, how can I assist him?" "It's that man sleeping in my car. My father wants you to take care of him, to get him off the booze, and to make him start taking better care of himself. He wants him cleaned up and back among the productive members of society." "That's a tall order, Jimmy. My experience is that most of these situations don't result in long term improvement. I'll do what I can of course, but I can't make you any promises." "That brings us to another thing that my father told me to tell you. Your future support from him is sort of dependent on you getting this done for him. He believes that you can do it. Here's your five thousand for this month, and he sent another five hundred with me to cover any extra expenses that you might have with the man that I'm bringing you now. He really wants you to do this for him. I don't know why, but it's important to him, very important." "I understand, Jimmy. You tell your father that we'll do our very best. I'll put all of my people on this." I peeled off the five hundred and gave him that as well. Mr. Frenchak and I got the guy in my passenger seat awake, and then helped him out of my car, and over alongside of the mission building. As soon as he was settled on the ground, he went back to sleep again. Don't forget to leave the ten dollars that we promised to give to Gerald, Jimmy. I doubt if he'll remember it, but he might. I peeled off another ten bucks, and told Mr. Frenchak to give it to the sleeping guy after he woke up. He took the money and said that he would. I drove back to Fullerton, keeping all of my windows down even though it was cold out. I was going to use some disinfectant cleaner on my car seat as soon as I got a chance. I hoped that he didn't have lice or anything. Jimmy, I've taken care of everything, Your car is cleaner than it was before he sat down in it. Drive over to Whittier, we can pick up some money over there. I'm assuming that you have no aversion to accepting money that was taken from criminals? Good, that makes it ever so much easier for me. When we get to where I'm going to show you, I want you to go inside and take the money that is sitting on the table, all of it. There are some bags there that you can use to put it all in. This is money that is the proceeds of several hundred drug sales over the past three days. The three individuals that are now in this room, will not be conscious, and will never see you enter or leave. Can you do this? You always say the sweetest things to me. Turn right at the next light, and then go down until I tell you to turn right again. We got to the house where the voice said the money was located. I parked out on the street, right in front. The voice told me to go up to the door and walk right in. Saying that I trusted him was on thing. Actually walking into a house where there were three drug dealers, probably all armed, was another. There is a big difference between saying that you can do something, in the abstract sense, and actually doing it in a real situation, one where real consequences are possible. I walked up to the front door with some serious misgivings. I put my hand on the door knob and turned it. I didn't pause to allow myself the time to think about what might happen if the voice hadn't taken care of things inside for me. I walked in and went over to the table that was set up in the middle of the living room. There were three men sitting in the room, one right over at the table, and two sitting on a chair and a sofa, that were a few feet removed from the table. All three men were unmoving, not even looking up when I walked in. The entire table seemed to have money on it, all of the bills were separated into piles, by denomination rather than by any other system. I looked around until I saw several grocery bags beneath the table. I picked them up off the floor and started putting the money inside them. There were at least thirty stacks of one dollar bills, each stack several inches tall. There were stacks of every denomination up to hundreds, with a lot of ten and twenty dollar stacks. I started with the biggest bills and filled the first bag with hundreds, fifties and twenties. I filled the second bag with the rest of the twenties, all of the tens and fives, and some of the ones. It took another whole bag for the rest of the one dollar bills. Jimmy, go in the closet in the hallway and take out that small black satchel. We're taking it too. No, it's the rest of their drugs. They should be destroyed so that they can't poison any other young people or destroy any other promising futures. I went over to that hallway closet and got the satchel just like he had told me to, and took both the satchel and the bag with the big bills out to my car and put it into my trunk. I went back after that and got the other two bags and put them in my trunk as well. My heart was really beating fast from the excitement or danger that I was feeling. I got into my car and drove back to Fullerton. I wasn't happy about carrying those drugs around with me, but I figured that the voice wouldn't let me get pulled over with drugs in the car. I drove right at the speed limit the whole way though, not wanting to risk getting a ticket. I knew that there was a lot of money in those three bags, but didn't really have a good idea of how much it was other than a lot. It's just under eighty four thousand, Jimmy. That should be enough to take care of your needs for right now. If you get the chance though, I'd like you to send some money to three charities that I've been following. Perhaps three thousand to each? That is how it had been going with the voice and I. As he began relying on having me to take care of some physical transactions that he wanted to do, he started branching out with more things that he was interested in. We had talked once about why he didn't just have a lot of different people that he could communicate with, and he told me that it was too much trouble to make contact and set everything up. Once he did that he'd have to try to keep close tabs on the person. He told me that this was doubly true in my case because I took such joy in resisting his will at every single turn. Jimmy, today is the day that Connie's going to be asked to go to that party. I don't think that she'll accept the invitation, but you should stay close, just in case she surprises me, and does. I shouldn't have waited so long to get the two of you together. We can prevent it from happening. There are many things that we can do. She must not go through that ordeal again. Not under any circumstances. This is the critical disaster that we need to prevent in her life. I drove over to my house, and took the satchel upstairs to my bathroom, shutting and locking the door. My mother was downstairs working in her sewing room. Go ahead and flush it down the toilet. Don't worry about your mother getting concerned about the constant flushing. I'll take care of that for you. There were pills, and powders, and some marijuana too. I'm not sure what most of it was, but I emptied things into the toilet and flushed it every time I thought it was filled up enough. Altogether, there must have been about ten toilet bowls full of that garbage. I cleaned out the inside of the leather satchel when I was done, and then took it out to my car and emptied two of the bags into it. I left the bag with nothing but one dollar bills in the car, planning on bringing it up to my room later. I separated nine thousand dollars in hundreds, fifties and twenties, and went to three different banks to get three cashier's checks for the charities that the voice wanted me to send money to. The voice gave me the organization name to have the checks written in favor of. I typed up short letters for the charities, saying that I wanted my donation kept anonymous, and then sealed the checks in the envelope and mailed all three. When I had gone to the post office and was driving back again, the voice told me that Connie had turned down the invitation to go with that boy to the party. I was relieved to hear it. Next, I went over to Tiny's again. He had just gotten home when I got there, and Terri had just given him the brochure that I'd left, and was starting to tell him all that I'd told her. Tiny had a lot of questions for me, but I had almost no answers for him. I told him all that I knew, and told him about Fred Martin, including the fact that he'd been in the Navy too. Tiny said that he'd be there before eight the next morning. I told him to dress casual, but nice, and to bring along some work clothes just in case he needed them too. I asked Tiny if he was all right with his finances. "We're good, Jimmy. No problems." I could see on Terri's face that his answer didn't jibe with her version of reality. "Tiny, tell me the truth. Do you need some more money?" "Jimmy, no. We don't need any more money. Things are tight, and we're a little bit behind, but it's no different than usual, we'll get caught up again soon." Again, Terri looked at him and then turned away. "Why can't it ever be easy between us, Tiny? You always make me work harder than I should have to. You know that you're a large part of our family out here. How do you think my dad feels when you don't let him help with the things that he actually can help with? You do a lot for my parents, and then you refuse to let us help you back. Remember that last time? That's worked out good for everybody, hasn't it? You got a little money to help you out, and then you took over their worries about the yard, and all of the things that are needed to keep the boat ready to go fishing. You know that you have more time for that stuff than my dad, but he doesn't like to feel like he's giving you the dirty end of the stick all the time, having you clean the boat, and take care of all the maintenance on it." "I like doing work on the boat. It isn't any trouble, and I feel like that's how I can contribute something to the fishing that we do." "Tiny, what's going to happen in another month when you've paid off that money with the gardening? What are my parent's going to do then?" I was planning on still taking care of it for them. It isn't any big thing for me to do it." "You think they are going to let you just do that for them when you won't let them help you out too? My parents aren't like that. They can be just as stubborn as you are. No, I'm afraid that it doesn't work that way Tiny, it has to be them helping you too, or else neither one of you helping the other one." "I don't want to take advantage of them, Jimmy." "They think they are taking advantage of you. The only reason they haven't asked if you'd keep taking care of the yard is that they didn't think you should do all the work for so little money. They know they would have to pay a real gardener a lot more, and the yard probably wouldn't look as good if someone else did it. It would make them feel good if I could tell them that you voluntarily re-upped to do their yard for another five months. You'd be doing us a favor." I finally convinced him to take another five hundred, which I handed to Terri. She assured me that it was more than adequate to get everything caught up again. Once we got over that impasse, everything got friendly again, and Tiny told me about plans that he had for putting in an automatic sprinkler system. He said that he had been reading about it in Mechanic's Illustrated, and was anxious to see if it really worked the way they said it did. By the time I had left there, after eight, Tiny was happy again, and looking forward to going down to the boat company's showroom. The things that I had told him, I really believed. He really did do a lot for my mom and dad, and he could fix almost anything that went wrong around the house. Tiny got a job the next day. He and Fred Martin hit it off from the first, and by the time the showroom opened for business, Tiny had been installed as the service writer and the parts man for the dealership. It was a raise in pay for Tiny, and it was full time employment. I was just happy that things were finally going his way. I knew that Tiny was working somewhere else when I had come to California the last time through, but I didn't remember where. Jimmy, we've got a problem. That boy who asked Connie out has gotten another girl to agree to go to the party with him. I don't want to stand by and let that same thing happen to another girl, especially one who didn't have this happen to her the first time through. This girl wasn't at the party before. The easiest thing that I can think of is to have you put him out of commission on the day of the party. I could do something, something that would be more permanent, and more drastic, but, this particular party was his single worst behavior, and, it was never repeated. Other than this one time, his life wasn't that remarkable. But, you don't fight, remember? The problem is, he hasn't done anything yet. If you did anything to him, you'd be punishing an innocent person. Actually, he isn't planning it. He doesn't even know that someone is going to add alcohol to the punch. For him, it was a case of opportunity meeting a weakness, a weakness that was created, at least in part, by his own inebriation. It isn't a simple problem. Why don't you try to get invited to the party? If you were there, with my assistance, you could prevent everything coming together in such a destructive manner. I can remedy that. The reason Connie gave for turning the invitation down was that she already had a date for that night, with you. Instead of dinner and a movie, you can take her to this party, and see that it turns out differently. I can fix it so that no one questions who invited you to the party, and most of the kids there already know Connie. Absolutely. ------- Chapter 21 By the time that Friday had come around, the voice had gotten me acquainted with Randy Bilson, the boy who was hosting the party. Randy was a motorcycle enthusiast, although he didn't own one, and hadn't even been on one, until I offered to let him ride behind me on mine. The voice had directed me to where Randy was shooting baskets with a couple of his friends, at an elementary school near his house. I stopped for a while and watched them shoot around for ten minutes or so, before they invited me to play with them. We chose up sides, and Randy and I wound up as teammates. The voice gave me enough basketball skill so that I was about equal with Randy, but, the other two boys were better, and beat us handily. After our game, we were all taking a breather when Randy started talking about my motorcycle, asking me questions, and looking over at where I had parked it. "Would you want to go for a ride?" "I can't ride a motorcycle." "You can ride behind me, just to get the feel for it." "Sure, I'd like that. Can we go down to the market and get some Cokes or something? I'm really thirsty." "Sure, see what they want. I'm buying." Randy went over and asked his friends for their drink preferences, and then he and I got on my bike and drove over to the little mom and pop market about three blocks away. We got the drinks, and a big bag of popcorn, and rode back over to the school again. "That was fun, thanks. I'd like to get one of those myself, if my mom would ever let me." "Yeah, my mom nearly had a stroke when I brought this home. I can't wait to show it to my girlfriend tonight. I hope she likes it enough to ride on it with me. Do you know Connie Warring? That's the girl I'm talking about." "Of course, Connie and I go way back, I think we were in the same classes all through elementary school. So you're dating Connie, huh?" "Yes, we've only gone out a couple of times, but I really like her. I'm taking her out tonight, although I'm not sure yet where we're going." "I'm throwing a party at my house tonight, you guys should drop by for awhile. My parents are out until after midnight, so we'll probably just listen to records and sit around talking. You both are welcome to come by if you want to." "Thanks Randy, we just might take you up on it. Where do you live?" He took me over by the school fence and pointed his house out to me. "Connie knows where I live. She came to some of my birthday parties when we were just kids. Just tell her Randy Bilson's house, if you get lost or something. People should start coming over at around seven or so. I hope that you guys can make it." We chose up sides for another game, and this time I was on the winning side with a boy named Jerry. I remembered Jerry from that movie that the voice had shown me of Connie at the party. Jerry had been one of the other four boys that had raped her. I had 'accidentally' thrown a ball into his face in the first contest, and he hadn't liked it. In the second game, he did much better than I did. I would throw him the ball, and he would take it in to the hoop. He was the best player of the four of us. I left shortly after, telling Randy that I'd probably stop by at his party, at least for a little while. I called Connie at home later that afternoon, to check with her about whether it was all right if I came over earlier so we could go out to eat, and then go to a new friend's party. She asked me about the party, but, when I told her that it was at Randy Bilson's, she laughed and told me that it would be fine. I picked her up at a little before six, and we went out to a Chinese restaurant on Harbor Blvd. The food was plentiful, and we each tried a little bit of the other's order. I had gotten a beef and rice dish with some veggies, and she had egg rolls and some kind of shrimp and rice dish that was spicy. I had told her that I had bought a motorcycle and had offered to bring it for our date, but she told me that she preferred the car this time. We got over to the party at around seven thirty or so. There were about twelve to fifteen kids there when we got there, and one or two of them were drinking beers, but the rest had either soft drinks or the punch that Randy's mom had made. Jimmy, that boy in the blue shirt, the one with the greasy hair. He's about to go out to his car and bring in a quart bottle of vodka to put into the punch bowl. If you go stand by the front door after he leaves, I'll tell you when to open the door and bump into him. Just let your hands be relaxed, and leave the rest of it to me. I don't have control over his hands or legs. I could make him unconscious, but that wouldn't make sure that the bottle breaks. Let's try it the easy way first. I did what the voice said, waiting by the door, trying to relax my hands and arms. It seemed to take a long time, but, finally, I heard the voice. Open the door now, Jimmy! I opened the door and as I was walking out, my foot stepped right on the boys forward foot which caused me to fall forward. Instinctively, I tried to reach for something to halt my sudden forward fall, and my hand pulled the vodka bottle out of his fingers where it splattered, on the concrete stairs. I continued forward, but, somehow righted myself without falling on those stairs. "Damn it! Watch where the fuck you're going, asshole!" The guy had turned around to face me, and was yelling at me for breaking his bottle. "I'm sorry. I tripped over your foot I guess. I didn't see you coming. What broke?" "What broke? Take a look, only a whole bottle of vodka that I paid my brother ten dollars to buy for me. You have any notion of what I had to do in order to convince him to buy it for tonight? Now you've gone and ruined everything! You better have a bottle of your own booze to trade me for the one you broke, or else you and I are going to have a big problem." "I don't have any booze, but I'll give you back the ten dollars that you paid for it." "I don't think that will cover it, asshole. I went to a lot of trouble to get that bottle, in addition to the money that it cost me." "I'm starting to think that you just want to pick a fight. You keep this up and you won't get anything from me but your ass kicked." "You and who's army, jerk?" "Me and the four years of boxing lessons that I've taken." I stepped off to the grass, away from the porch. I raised my hands in what I hoped looked like a boxing pose. "The choice is yours, big mouth, do you want my ten bucks, or do you want to try to take it out of my hide?" He looked at me, hesitating, not wanting to make a hasty decision about an unknown quantity standing before him. I had heard that most people, when confronted with an opponent that had already announced his willingness to fight, would back down themselves. It seemed to me that this was my only hope, to try a bluff on him. I was also hoping that the voice would give me the knowledge of those boxing lessons that I'd lied about taking. "You're not worth my getting all dirty over. Hurry up and give me the ten bucks before I change my mind." "You clean up all that broken glass first, then I'll give you the money. I don't want you leaving a mess for Randy's parents to find when they come home." "I'm not cleaning any glass. You broke it, you can clean it. Give me my money, and then I'm leaving. This party isn't even worth my time anyway."I started approaching him, slowly, my fists still balled up. I hoped that he would decide to bend over and pick up that broken glass, but he just stood straighter and looked like he wasn't going to back down any further. "Go get the hose then, and I'll pick up the glass. When all of the stink of the booze is washed away, you can have your money and leave." The hose was right behind him, less than ten feet away from him. I hoped that he'd accept this offer as a fair compromise. He turned and went to get the hose, and I bent over to start picking up the glass. Watch out, Jimmy! I looked up just in time to see the kid getting ready to plant his foot in my face. I jumped backward, out of his range, and got up on my feet again. Just then, the front door opened up, and Randy and another kid looked out at us. "What's going on, Jimmy?" His eyes fell on the broken glass from the bottle, and the wet stain all over his walk way. "Is that your bottle of vodka, Greg? I already told you not to bring that into my house. My parents said no drinking. I don't want any fighting here either. If that was yours, Greg, you can just get the hell away from my house. Now!" "I'm leaving as soon as this guy gives me the money for breaking my bottle. This party isn't any good anyway." I took out a ten dollar bill, and dropped it on the ground in front of me. I didn't step back away from it. Rather than doing that, I stood there, almost daring him to come over and try to pick it up. He didn't move forward either. After a few seconds watching Greg and I staring each other down, Randy came over and picked up my money and handed to Greg. "Leave now, Greg, you've got your money." Greg took the offered money and turned and left. He looked like he might want to say something to me, but he didn't. I watched him get into an old jalopy and drive away. I then bent back down and cleaned up as much of the glass as I could find. Randy had the hose, and he watered the walkway to get rid of the vodka, or at least, dilute it some. I had been outside and away from Connie for fifteen minutes by then, and, after dropping the broken glass in a trashcan by Randy's house, I went back inside to make sure that she was all right. We stayed at Randy's party until about ten o'clock, when people started leaving. Some were going out to just drive around, others wanted to go get something to eat. When Connie and I got ready to leave, Randy came over and thanked me for helping clean up the mess from Greg, and for not pushing it to a fight with Greg either. I thanked him for inviting us to his party and told him to let me know if he got himself a motorcycle, and wanted to go riding sometime. One of the prettier girls at the party came over to Randy and told him that she didn't know that he was thinking about getting a motorcycle. As we left, I heard him telling her that he was having trouble deciding exactly what kind to get. I helped Connie into my car and asked her what else she wanted to do. "We could go to the river and talk again, Jimmy. You could tell me all about your new motorcycle. Is that offer for a ride and a picnic still good?" "Sure. You'll have to show me how to get there again though. I don't know how to find it from where we are." She guided me over to Harbor Blvd, and then, I managed to find it easily from there. When we were parked, I told her about Greg and the vodka, and told her that he had planned to spike the punch. "Greg is so childish. He thinks it's fun to drink and to act like he's so grown up. He doesn't know that it makes him act even more stupid than he normally acts." We shared a few kisses, and she didn't flinch or move away when I touched her breast from the sides. When I put my hand over her breast though, she took it with her own hand and moved it away. Neither of us said anything, but I didn't try to put it back there any more. I told her about my Triumph, and told her that we could ride it down to San Clemente for a picnic. She said that she'd rather go for a shorter ride in the beginning, suggesting Carbon Canyon for a picnic area instead. I told her that I could live with that. We did more kissing, and this time, she put her hand on my leg, about mid thigh, so I took that as a sign that I could try to touch her breast again. We were kissing when I cupped it again, and this time she gripped my thigh tighter and didn't try to remove my hand. When I broke the kiss, I also removed my hand. "Thank you, Jimmy, for not trying to go too far. I enjoy kissing you." "I was wondering, Connie, whether you've decided yet about going out with me on Sunday?" "You never told me what you wanted to do." "I thought we could go back and try some more horseback riding and then go eat some of that Mexican food again, afterwards, in Stanton." "Do you mean it? I was sure that you'd never want to get on a horse again." "I'm only doing it because you seem impervious to my other tried and true methods. Imagine, a girl who doesn't respond to the smell of Gardenia's and pine needles. I told my mother about that, and she couldn't believe it." "Do you really talk about things like that with your mother?" "No, not really, but, I wanted to at least bring up the subject of what riding a horse does to you. I think that's exciting for me, knowing that you like riding because of that." "You're terrible, Jimmy! That isn't why I like riding horses. I shouldn't have told you about that, now you'll think I'm common." "I think you're cute, nice, and very, very desirable." I punctuated each adjective or adverb with a kiss on her lips. "Sometimes, I wish that I could act common though. It's not that easy, always having to watch yourself, and stay in control. Boys don't realize it, but girls get those feelings too." "Oh, I think we realize it. We do everything that we can think of, to get you girls stimulated, and thinking about us in that way too. You have got to know that I'm not taking you back to those horses because I can't wait to ride again?" "Well, for whatever reason you're doing it, I'm not turning down another chance to go riding. So, you've got yourself a date for Sunday too, Mr. Jimmy Gordon." She leaned into me and kissed me with a lot of passion. She started running both of her hands through my hair, and sliding up until she was kneeling on the car seat. She did that so that her head was as high as mine. I kissed her right back, with both my hands around her, and then, let one of them slide down until it was cupping an ass cheek. She moaned softly, and pressed her upper body into my chest. We stayed like that for at least five minutes, and then it was Connie who broke our kiss. "That's enough, Jimmy. Whew! I wouldn't dare do something like that after we were out riding horses for two hours. I hope that you realize that we got too carried away this time. Don't expect that kind of a kiss from me every time we go out either." "If we were out riding horses for two hours, Connie, it wouldn't matter what you did, because I'd be too sore to take any advantage of it." She laughed. "I'll just have to see for myself if that's true or not, Jimmy. If it is true, maybe I can do some more things that I've been wondering about. Only if I was really sure that you were being honest about being too sore to take advantage." "If you ever need to trust me like that Connie, all you have to do is tell me. I wouldn't want to take advantage of you, even if I could. We can always pretend that you're the boy, trying to take liberties, and I'm the girl, trying to preserve my virtue. On second thought, we might not want to pretend that. I'd hate to spend the rest of my life feeling like I was a boy of easy virtue." "Are you? A boy of easy virtue? Would you let me have my way with you, if I tried?" "Well, we'll never know, because you aren't that kind of girl, the kind that would push me too far." "Have you been pushed too far before, Jimmy? Have other girls had their way with you?" As she said this, she pretended to feel me up, on my chest, and placed her hand back on my jeans, even higher than before. She had a smiling face, but her eyes had a glint to them, almost a predatory gleam. You've just tapped into a fantasy of hers, Jimmy. One where she is the aggressor, and you are the prey. Even now, just playing, she wants to place her hand on your penis, to feel it react to her assault on it. I adopted a weak, falsetto voice. "Oh, please, Connie, don't do that. You know that we can't do that." I pretended to be drawing back, even moving closer to my door. She closed the distance between us again. "Come on, Jimmy, you know that you like it. Just let me touch you for a little bit. I won't hurt you, and no one else will ever know, I promise." "I'm sorry, Connie, that's enough. You stop that, and take me home, right now! I don't appreciate you trying to paw me like I'm some trollop either. You just take me home!" As I was saying all that, I let my voice get higher, and tried to be as convincing as I could be. "Just give me one more little kiss, Jimmy, and then I'll take you home, promise." She leaned in and kissed me, and as she did, I felt the back of her hand rubbing across my dick. She was really copping a feel now. It surprised me. It also turned me on, quite a bit. I reached down and took her hand and removed it from my crotch area. I spoke to her in my regular voice. "That was fun, Connie, but let's not push it too far. I can see how that would be tough for girls. For just a minute there, I thought about letting you go further. Luckily, I came to my senses before I let you ruin me." I laughed, to show her that I was only kidding. Then, I looked into her face, really looked. What I saw there surprised me. It resembled something almost feral, that look. I'd seen it with Carolyn, Donna and Dee Dee, while we were making love. She was very aroused. I would have bet my car that she was very well lubricated right then. I wondered, just for a minute, what would have happened if I'd kept on playing that little game with her. I saw her making a conscious effort to pull out of whatever state she was in. "Oh, Jimmy, I'm so sorry, I took it way past where I should have. I'm embarrassed for doing that to you." "Connie, don't worry about it. I know that you were just joking around before. I didn't take any offense to it. I will admit that it surprised me though. Now, what am I going to tell my mother when she does my wash and finds hand prints down there?" I pretended to break down and cry. Connie started laughing too, but it was after a minute, and I wasn't that sure that her laughter was genuine. I took her home and walked her to her door. "What time should I pick you up for our picnic tomorrow?" "I don't know. Are you sure you still want to go out with me?" "More sure than ever. I'll pack the picnic lunch, so don't you fix anything. I'll come by at ten thirty, will that be all right?" "I'll be ready. I really want to ride on your motorcycle, Jimmy. I was talking with Ellen tonight at the party. She's the girl that was talking to Randy when we left the party. Her ex boyfriend had a motorcycle. She said that being ridden around on a motorcycle can be very exciting. You don't think she was talking about exciting, like it is riding a horse do you?" "Well, I have heard that some girls like the throbbing of the engine, and the feeling of being on a powerful machine. I don't know if it's like a horse or not, but I hear that some girls really like it." "I hope you didn't hear that from the girls back in Washington that got hot from smelling your gardenia and pine bouquets." "We'll just have to reserve judgment until you can decide for yourself." ------- Chapter 22 I got up early Saturday morning, and rode my bike down to Cresteri's Pizza, in Santa Ana. I had called ahead on Friday, and ordered a two foot Italian Grinder sandwich for pickup on Saturday morning. I told Mrs. Cresteri that it was important that she make the sandwich herself, because I was trying to impress a girl. These were authentic grinders that she made, with the cold cuts and the cheeses. She even baked her own bread, and added onions, shredded lettuce, tomatoes, and oil and vinegar. The cheeses that she used, all three of them, were imported from Italy, and tasted nearly perfect. These cheeses were blended, most harmoniously, with three separate kinds of cold cuts, also imported. There was salt and pepper added, and then, a secret blend of other light spices that were sprinkled on, after everything else had been put together. I was wearing a canvas rucksack that slid over one shoulder and would lay across my chest and stomach. British motorcycles of that era weren't set up very well to carry both a passenger and saddle bags. I got over to Connie's house at ten fifteen, and she came bouncing out of her house, even before I got a chance to turn my engine off. She was wearing jeans, and a loose fitting top, with what looked like heavy riding boots. I set the kick stand, and turned the engine off. I got off of the bike and gave her a hug, careful not to squish the grinder, or to disturb the four, icy cold, Cokes that I'd purchased from Mrs. Cresteri. "Do you have any questions before we take off?" "Are you a good motorcycle driver? Better than you fly, I mean." "I can honestly say that I've never had to lay it down or had a crash of any kind, in all the time that I've been riding." "Which is how long, exactly?" "Well, counting everything, even the ride over, I must have well over two hours of riding experience already." "Will I be safe riding behind you?" "Even from most flying insects. I'm afraid that I'll be catching most of those." I hopped on the bike, and she jumped on behind me. She wrapped both arms around my waist, and positioned her feet on the passenger foot rails. I started the bike back up, rolled forward a bit, kicked it in gear, and off we went. We drove slowly around the well puller trails that lead through the oil fields, sticking to the dirt roads, right up until we got to the Carbon Canyon Cutoff Road, and then I opened it up a little, until we came to a big turn out on our right side, with grass and some nice old trees to provide shade. I pulled the bike in, off the road, and then coasted over until we were under one of those shade trees. I turned the engine off, and then waited for Connie to dismount, before I set the stand and got off the bike myself. I had two towels in my rucksack, but no blanket for us to lie on. Connie started walking further in, away from the road, until she found a tree that she seemed to like. I followed her and set up our little picnic area with the two towels placed side by side and the rucksack laid out at the foot of both towels to prevent them moving in case a breeze came up. It was still January, but the temperature was already in the high sixties, and expected to peak in the low seventies. I sat down on the one towel and Connie sat, Indian style, on hers. "So, how did you like the motorcycle ride?" "It was exciting, especially when you went so fast. I still think riding a horse is more exciting, but I can see where some people would rather ride a motorcycle." "Was it as good as pine needles and gardenia's?" "A little better, but not that much better." "Am I going to have to sell my bike then, and buy myself a horse?" "I wouldn't ever ask you to do that, Jimmy. So, what did you fix us for lunch? I'm already hungry." I pulled out the grinder and some napkins with what I hoped was a flourish. I then got us each a coke, and opened them with the church key that I kept on my key ring. We sat there eating that huge sandwich, drinking from our Coke bottles, and looking out on the serene, pastoral setting. It was very secluded. In the fifteen minutes that we'd been sitting there, not one car, or truck, had come by from either direction. In fact, I didn't remember seeing anyone else since we cleared Fullerton and started traveling on the dirt roads. "These is a really good sandwich, you didn't make it, did you?" "I caused it to be made, which is almost the same thing. I delegated the actual construction to another, but I specified all of the component materials myself." "Don't talk funny like that. All of those words, you could have just said 'no'." "I didn't make the Coke either." "That I already knew, smartypants." "Can I lick the oil off of your face? Just so we can save the napkins for later?" "No, you can't. You didn't bring me all the way out here just to get me alone and be fresh with me did you?" She sounded angry. "No, I was just kidding with you." "Oh, well, too bad then. I was kind of hoping that you had." "And, don't you think, just because we're out here all alone, that I'm going to let you get fresh with me again. I haven't forgotten last night yet." I smiled at her, wanting her to know that I was still fooling around, willing to play any game that she wanted to play. "If you didn't enjoy it, then why did you agree to come out here like this. You must have known that there wouldn't be anyone close by to help you." "I was relying on your promise to be good, Connie. I expect you to treat me like a gentleman deserves to be treated." "How does a gentleman deserve to be treated, Jimmy?" She edged in closer to me. I could feel her advancing on me. I sensed that she had ambitious designs on me. She ran her tongue over her lips as she moved closer, moistening them for the kiss that she was planning on taking from me. "I told you last night, Connie, that I expect you to behave yourself around me. Don't make me sorry that I agreed to come way out here in the woods with you." "Just give me a little kiss, Jimmy. I'll be good. I just want one little kiss, that's all." She had closed all of the distance that had once separated us. Her hand reached up, and casually, she undid the top button that I had buttoned on my shirt. I could once again see that gleam in her eye as she did this. "You are going to be a little friendlier today aren't you? This is already our fourth date. She was gently running a finger down my arm. I was wearing a short sleeved shirt, and her finger was on my bare skin. She brought it down to where my wrist was bent so that my hand could support some of my weight, and then reversed her course, and went back up to my shoulder again. "Connie, be good, or else we can just turn right around and go home again." "Jimmy, why are you always pretending that you don't like what I'm doing? We both know that you do. I can see that this is getting you excited. Why not just lay back and let me have one little kiss?" She had reached out as she said this last part, and undone yet another button on my shirt. Right after that, I felt her palm on my chest as she gently pushed me back down upon my towel. I let her, dropping any resistance. This time, it was me who moistened my lips. "Do you really promise, Connie, one kiss and then you'll be good?" She nodded at me, and then pinched one of my nipples from outside my shirt. "Relax, don't be worried. I won't let anything bad happen to you." She undid a third, and then a fourth button, and then bent her head over mine, kissing me with what I would call a real purpose, an unmistakable intent. I felt like she was determined to seduce me, and I was trying to think of how I could escape from the hypnotic effect that she was beginning to have on me. I was beginning to panic more than a little bit. I'm monitoring both of you, Jimmy. Right now, her heart rate is even higher than yours is. I can only suggest that you might want to defuse this situation, before the two of you really do get carried away. Right then, Connie undid the fifth and last button on my shirt, and pulled out one of the two ends of my shirt tail. Her mouth hadn't left my face for the past three or four minutes. I could feel the heat from her breath. She pulled out the other end of my other shirt tail and then started rubbing my stomach, playing with my stomach hairs. In another minute, I felt her little finger dive in and trace casually under my waist band on the jeans that I was wearing. This is getting to be decision time now, Jimmy. I can tell you that she is well caught up in this fantasy of hers, and that her present intent is to get inside your jeans and touch your naked penis. You more or less promised her that you wouldn't take advantage, Jimmy. Jimmy, please try not to forget I can read your thoughts and intents. You can't really lie to me. I told you that I wouldn't stop you from having intercourse with her, but, if you did it today, this early in your relationship, I'd be disappointed in you. I didn't do a thing, Jimmy. That was all your doing. I felt two or three more fingers from her hand heading South of my belt line. I didn't want her to get to where she was heading, only to find out that all of her effort had been to no avail. I reached down and took her hand by the wrist and brought it out of my pants. "Connie, that's enough. We can't play that game any more. You're getting too close to getting me to cave in. I admit it, I'm easy." She kept on kissing me, concentrating on my neck now, and when I released her hand again, she dove it straight down inside my pants. I took all of my resolve, to once again grab her, this time by the forearm and bring her hand up from where it had been searching for my dick. I used my weight to roll her over, and then gave her a little taste of her own treatment of me. While I kissed her, I grabbed at her breasts and pinched a nipple, not real rough, but enough to let me know that she had really felt it. In less than a minute, I had both of her hands trapped in one of mine, above her head, and had my hand resting on her crotch, outside of her jeans. I don't know what I was expecting, but she gave no outburst of protest, and didn't even try to wiggle out of my grasp. I let her go and stood up. "Connie, you really can't keep doing that, not and still expect to be able to save yourself for your wedding day. Unless you're planning on getting married sometime in the next twenty minutes, or so." Both of us were breathing hard. I knew how close I was right then, to just wanting to take off all of my clothes, and have her right there on the towel. She looked up at me. I could see that she was ready to continue. I could just lay down next to her again and do what both of us wanted to do. I also knew that the voice would do something to prevent it from happening. I wanted her, a lot, just not enough to try to take her in spite of the stated wishes of the voice. She lifted her arms up towards me, asking me with her gesture to come back down to her and resume where we'd left off. "Jimmy, come back and touch me some more. My body's aching for you to touch me all over." Damn! She was pulling out all the stops now. I turned away from her and walked off, towards where the marshy area was. I buttoned all of my buttons back up and tried to tuck my shirt back in. My hands were shaking from all the nervous energy that I'd built up by being with her. I stood there alone, for at least five minutes before I sensed her coming up behind me. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged my back mightily. "Thank you, Jimmy. For awhile there, I guess I went a little crazy on you. I think that I'm going to have to re-evaluate my opinion on the effects caused by riding on a motorcycle. I don't know if that had much to do with it though. I really felt like I was going to get you to let me do whatever I wanted to do with you. I was very disappointed when you stopped me before I touched you down there. I still want to, but it isn't as strong as before. I think this proves that you can be trusted. It's me that can't be trusted now." We both laughed at that, and some of the tension that had built up between us disappeared. I brought her along side me and put my arm over her shoulder. "I came very close to losing control back there. We don't want to keep tempting fate like that, because, if we do, one of us is liable to get a sudden surprise." "Would it be a big surprise?" She looked up at me, grinning, back to herself once again. "I'm not going to lie to you, I've never actually hurt anyone with it yet, but once, I heard someone groan." "Moans and groans, don't mean anything, Jimmy. Has anyone ever seen it, and then fainted at the sight?" "Well, maybe not fainted, but Sally Raynar once said that it was the biggest one that she'd ever seen." "When, and where was this?" "I don't remember exactly." "Approximately when then." "Well, it was in the summer, because I remember that we were outdoors, and I needed to go to the bathroom. I'm pretty sure that I was six years old, and Sally was around five. She had a brother though, and she still said mine was the biggest." "Was her brother older or younger than you?" "You could be a lawyer, you know that?" "Answer my question." "I think he was two years old, but he was big for his age, and I was shy back then." "I think you're going to have to show me sometime. I don't have a brother, and I've never seen a real one. You'd be the biggest one that I'd ever seen." "And the smallest one too." ------- Chapter 23 We ended our picnic a short time later, without any further excitement. We packed up our trash, and decided to go out exploring on my bike. It was a fun time, made especially so, by having Connie riding behind me, holding on, and enjoying the ride. We got back to her house at nearly five, exhilarated by the freedom of being out riding through the countryside. Now that I'd cooled down from my earlier sexual frenzy, I was just as happy that we hadn't continued our explorations on the towels. I gave Connie a few kisses in front of her house, and told her to be ready to go by one o'clock the next day. "Come in your car tomorrow, Jimmy. I've had enough riding on the motorcycle, for right now at least." I nodded to her that I had heard what she had said. I liked riding the bike, and I preferred it to my car. I guess that it was the newness of it. I got back up on it, after she went into her house, and rode home. Aren't you happier now, knowing that you held back, Jimmy? It was far too soon for you to be advancing to that level of intimacy with her. She would have felt that she'd simply given in to her animal urges, rather than that she'd decided to give herself to a man that she was in love with. To a woman, that makes a large difference. To a man, that distinction tends to matter less. You have no experience with the normal, everyday, nice girls, Jimmy. Before Connie, you've only known flowers that were already in full bloom. Connie will need much more time and care before you finally pluck her from her stem. If you really believe that, if you thought she was ready, then why did you stop? I half believe you, which means that you only half believe yourself. Jimmy, with time, it will be a better, richer, experience for both of you. You are right though, in alleging that Connie's body is pushing her to further intimacies with you. The stimulation for this though, is her own mind, which has now taken up the sensual triggers that you unleashed in her when you began your role playing game with her. You've managed to strike a chord with her that never emerged from her before. It is because this never occurred during her last time through, that I didn't anticipate it. It isn't, in my opinion, a positive development for her. It must have been the terrible trauma that she experienced from the rapes that prevented this side of her from awakening and developing naturally before. I knew that she would be greatly altered if the rapes didn't occur, but this isn't what I had expected. I'm saying that it could very well keep her from even entering into the key relationship that made her future life so productive, and resulted in her positive impact on the lives of so many others. Her husband before had been picked by her precisely because he was sexually not threatening to her. It is unlikely now, given the rapid development in changing her fantasy into reality, that she will still seek out someone like her husband. Without him, all of the rest becomes far less likely to occur. With you, of course, Jimmy. You have always been my reserve piece in this little chess game. I didn't know what adjustments this drastic change in experience might necessitate, but I did know that it would bring some need for me to push it back in line to allow her to regain her previous pathways. Who do you think is the best judge of that, Jimmy? I find it disconcerting that you would doubt my ability to contain this in a satisfactory manner. Haven't I demonstrated with you that I can alter events almost at my will? I've already explained to you about Mr. Stopak and Carolyn's deaths, and about why Donna's infidelity happened. I know that you hold me responsible for not preventing those three things, but it was more complex than you know. I told you that either you or Donna would have to undertake the role of being the bad guy, but you failed to follow through in breaking up with her when you had the opportunity. Had you done so, there wouldn't have been any problem. Jimmy, what's past is past. Connie needs both of us right now. You need to concentrate on doing the best that you can with the situation that is currently in front of you. I wasn't satisfied with any part of his explanations. Given the powers that the voice had already demonstrated to me, he could have protected my interests far better than he had. I was miffed at what he had allowed to occur with Donna, but I would never really forgive what he'd allowed to happen to Carolyn. I had thought about that many times over the past four plus months since her death. Since he seemed to know my every thought, he knew what I was thinking about that situation too. This was the first time that he'd brought Carolyn's death up in a long time. Perhaps he'd waited, thinking that I'd just forget about her, and about her death. If that was his plan, it wasn't working. I'd never forget Carolyn, and I would always hold him responsible. It won't help to constantly rehash what cannot be changed. It was her fate. The likelihood that I could have intervened was always minuscule. I will admit that I might have mislead you on that score, by making it seem like I was more optimistic than I actually was. Fair enough. Think what you will. I try to do the best that I can. Unlike you, I have to accept that some things aren't possible, given other, more important, constraints. There is a big picture, Jimmy, and someone has to see what it is, and keep it intact. It amazes me that you believe that, Jimmy. Show me one example of a time that I have placed my own interests above yours. A lesson to you only. You needed to understand that you had to stay within set limits, that you couldn't simply act on your own, selfish desires. An exaggeration. You were not in any danger. I was merely proving a point to you. I had arrived back home, I took care of parking my bike and went inside. Tiny and my father were both sitting in the living room, having a beer, and discussing fishing again. My mom was in the sewing room with Terri, showing her a new pattern that she was trying to make a dress from for the first time. I went up to my room, after telling everyone hello, and sprawled out on my bed. I was angry with the voice. He could tell me anything that he chose to, and I was forced to believe him, because I had no way to check up on him, to find out if he was telling me the truth. Later, he could simply change his story, and then I still had to believe the new story. The worst part of it, was my realizing that I was still better off than before, whether he was lying to me, or telling me the truth. Had the voice purchased my cooperation by granting me this second chance? And, was he taking care of things for me only because he wanted to keep me around doing his bidding? What was I to the voice? That was really the question that troubled me the most. He had been around me long enough that I was starting to notice some inconsistencies between what he said and what he did. They were minor slip ups on his part, but more and more, I was beginning to see them, and keep them in my memory. He had already let slip that he had been following my life throughout my last time through. Why had he done that? Nothing had happened to me that was important to anyone but me in my last lifetime. Why did he choose to follow me then? If I wasn't important to the time line, what was I important for? I fell asleep, still troubled by the fact that I wasn't close to having any answers to any of these questions yet. I slept from six that afternoon, until about ten the following morning. People don't normally sleep in sixteen hour stretches, not normal, healthy people. I drove over to pick up Connie, and we went over and rented the same two horses as last time. This time, I knew how to ride. Other than a light chafing on the inner thighs, I stayed pretty comfortable the whole time. I even galloped with Connie, and got to enjoy seeing her riding with happy abandon. Not having to nursemaid me all of the time, allowed her to enjoy her own ride much more. When we returned the horses, and got back into my car, she attacked me with kisses, thanking me for taking her out riding again. I started the car up and we drove over to the Mexican restaurant in Stanton. This time, I ordered the chicken and rice dinner with beans. Connie ordered a big combination plate with several different kinds of items on it. Some of them were items that we had shared the week before, but she got a big fried chile too. She said that the chile rellano was very good. I took her word for it, although it didn't look all that appetizing to me. Again we stayed at the restaurant, talking until it got dark outside, before we left. "Jimmy, let's go park by the river. I've got something that I want to tell you, in private." I drove towards the river. It was pretty private in the Caddy, I thought, but I didn't say anything to her. I'd let her say what she wanted to, when she was ready to say it. We pulled into our usual spot, facing the puddle. I turned off the lights, and turned the key, so that we could still listen to the radio. "Can you turn off the radio too, Jimmy?" I turned the key back to off again. "I'm not sure where I want to begin, Jimmy, I've been thinking about what I want to say to you, ever since yesterday, before we left the picnic area. It's still confusing me, because you've changed things around for me." "Connie, whatever you want to tell me, it's all right. Really. You don't have to be worried about telling me anything, so go ahead, whenever you're ready." "Well, first off, it scares me when you and I are alone lately. Because of me, not you. You've been wonderful that way, Jimmy, and I haven't felt pressured by anything that you've said or done. No, it's me. Something has happened to me, and I don't know why. I can't understand why it's like this, all of a sudden, either, but, it is." "What is?" "These feelings I'm having, and the thoughts that I'm thinking now. It isn't like me, at all. I've been thinking just like one of those girls that don't care a thing about their reputations, or about their futures. If I told you what I've been thinking, or what I've been doing, you would understand what I mean. I'm turning into the worst sort of common person, and I don't know what to do to begin to change it back to the way it was before. I told myself that we would go out today, this last time, and that I'd behave myself with you, and tell you afterwards that we can't see each other any more. For both of our sakes. You think that I'm a nice girl, but, that's just not true anymore." It isn't what you think, Jimmy. She masturbated to an orgasm, to several orgasms actually, but that is it. Not like that, to orgasm. She has touched herself before, but she always stopped short of true masturbation to climax before. You are the one difference that has been added to her equation. It is natural for her to believe that her stopping from seeing you would return things to normal for her. Once they begin, people seldom turn away from sexual pleasure. The real problem here is with her belief that what she's doing is wrong, or that it takes something away from her ability to still be a decent person. I don't know if there's anything that you can say or do at this point. "Connie, whatever is troubling you, I'm sure that you're still a nice girl. To me, a nice girl is one who has a good heart and goes out of her way to be decent to other people. I've never seen you not being decent to people. You've always treated me good." "When I wasn't attacking you, you mean?" "That was just playing. That's just something that people do, when they like each other. It might not be appropriate if we were still kids, but we're not. Adults express themselves physically, and there's nothing wrong with that. We didn't do anything to be ashamed of, whenever we've been together. Now, I don't know this for sure, but from what you said before, I'm going to guess that you've just discovered something that most people, both males and females, have learned about way before they got to be seventeen years old. How to make your body feel good. That's just physically healthy. It's something that I've done since I was thirteen years old." "I've never done it before, and it scares me, and makes me a little bit disgusted with myself too." "I can see that it does, but I'm wondering why? To both, why never before, and why are you disgusted with yourself?" "I can't believe that we're both sitting here like this, talking so calmly about something that's so personal, and private." "Well, we wouldn't be, if you weren't so upset about doing something so natural and necessary. A mature body has to have some way of releasing all of that pent up, sexual pressure. Didn't you ever have one of those, uh uh releases, when you were out horseback riding?" She looked at me, then she dropped her head and nodded that she had. "I don't see what the difference is then. Is it that one just happened, without you having to help it along that much, and the other one was more deliberate?" "No, that isn't it. It was as wrong when I was out riding, but that was just a physical reaction that happened to be a by product of the riding. I wasn't having the thoughts then, that I was having all day yesterday. I wasn't thinking about you, and what I wanted to do with you. And, I didn't stop after it happened, I made it happen several more times. I couldn't seem to help myself." "You believe, that if we stop seeing each other, that these thoughts will just disappear, and your life will just go back to being normal?" "I hope that that's what's going to happen. Don't you think so?" "I think that the only thing that might change is the person that you're thinking about while you're stimulating yourself to an orgasm. Once you discover how good it feels, why would you ever want to stop doing it? At least, that's how I've always felt. It may not qualify as good, clean, wholesome fun, but it's free, and it sure helps me get to sleep at night. Does it make you think any less of me because now you know that I'm doing that to myself on a regular basis? At least five or six times every week?" "You do it that much, every week?" "Maybe more than that since I've met you. If I'm alone, and I'm thinking some sexy thoughts, why not?" "Jimmy, can you kiss me right now? I don't want to talk about it anymore. You might be right about you, but I still feel ashamed about me." "Then, no, I'm not going to kiss you, Connie, because that will just lead to you being even more ashamed. I don't want to be a party to making you feel bad about yourself. I certainly don't agree with how you feel, but they are your feelings, and I have to respect them." "I can understand that, Jimmy. In fact, it makes perfect sense. I'm going to try to think about some of those other things that you just told me too, really, I am. Would you kiss me if you knew that it wouldn't make me feel bad, and if I told you that it was part of my plan?" "You have a plan?" She giggled and nodded. She wants to see your penis, and touch it, so that she can fantasize about you better when she masturbates tonight. Jimmy, you have to already know that, in any contest between doing what you consider proper, and doing what feels wonderful, that wonderful almost always wins. Kiss her, and then see what happens. There isn't any way to put the egg back together, not after it's been broken. Try to limit yourself to show and tell though. I don't think that she's quite ready yet for one of your full treatments. Having gotten permission, I cheerfully gave in, and let her kiss me. I didn't say anything to her, and I didn't try to feel her up. After a few minutes of being so passive, I reversed directions and became more responsive to her. The voice had been right about her intentions to get a look and a feel of my dick. She started rubbing on it, through my jeans almost as soon as I starting fondling her breasts. This time, I let her go ahead, and was gratified that my dick was filling up nicely with blood. Just when I thought it was as hard as it could get, it grew even more. It felt like a sausage that had gotten too much meat shoved through it's casing. It even started to hurt. I refuse to be blamed anymore for your own shortcomings. Perhaps, if it scares her, it will slow down her progress towards the inevitable. So predictable, Jimmy. It doesn't hurt anymore, and yes, I'll let you keep this little enhancement permanently. I felt my zipper being pulled down, and realized that Connie had already opened my fly button without me realizing it. I felt her warm hand reaching through the flap on my skivvies, and wrapping her fingers around my engorged penis. Soon, she had him coaxed out of his hiding place, and looking up towards the headliner of the Caddy. I waited for her to say something. I was looking down at it, and I was impressed by it's size. For the first time in either lifetime, I felt tempted to give him a name. For some perverse reason, I settled on the name: 'Mr. Wonderful', and had the satisfaction of feeling something very much like a shudder inside my brain. How droll. Finally, Connie said something. "Would you put it back, Jimmy? I think I've seen enough." She had released me, and had moved back over to her own side. I quickly put it away and zipped and buttoned myself up again. I turned to look at her when I was done. "Is everything all right, Connie?" I thought she was going to tell me that it was too big, and that there was no way that something so big would ever fit inside her. Well, that's what I thought. "It wasn't like I thought it would be, that's all. Before, it was like I was the one in charge, getting you to let me do something that you didn't really want to do. Tonight, you just let me, like it didn't matter. It was the same as if I was holding on to one of your thumbs." "That's not true. Couldn't you tell how excited I was?" "I don't mean you. I wasn't excited, that's what I meant. I wasn't excited because there wasn't any challenge to it. Maybe you should take me home now, Jimmy. I'm tired, and I still have some studying to do." I started the car back up, and drove her home. When we got there, I asked her about the next weekend, but she put me off, saying that I should call her during the week. She got out of the car, telling me not to walk her to the door. She never even gave me a good night kiss. I was puzzled. I had no idea of where I'd messed up, but I could see that I had. I'd allowed her to do what she wanted to do, and she still wasn't happy. I drove home, not really that upset by things, but confused about what I could have done differently. Bad news, Jimmy. As things stand right now, Connie isn't planning on going out with you any more. She still needs to find her way over to the path that she took from that point forward, and she doesn't look like she wants to go that way. Whenever I get my expectations for you raised up to a comforting level, you always, somehow, manage to disappoint me. Fine, you go do whatever makes you happy. Don't worry about anyone else. I went into my house, but I felt restless. I didn't know what it was. I went back out and went for a ride on the Triumph. I just rode around, aimlessly, going up and down some of the quieter parts of Fullerton. I started recognizing some landmarks, and realized that I was over close to Dee Dee's apartment. It wasn't even nine o'clock yet on a Sunday night, and I started to wonder if she might be home, and want to go out for a ride with me. I parked my bike and walked over to her apartment door and knocked. It turned out that she didn't want to go riding on my bike, but she was willing to let me take her into her bedroom. Dee Dee noticed the difference in the size of my cock right away, and was complimentary about the fuller effect that it gave her. I told her that I'd been feeling a little bit off the last time, and this is how it felt when I had a full erection. She didn't say anything about me being too young this time, and I stayed with her until after one in the morning. When I left her, her flexibility was somewhat improved. She didn't seem to mind having to stretch her legs a little bit to be on top, riding my bigger dick. Not your proudest moment, Jimmy. The voice, in a fit of pique, removed my motorcycle riding abilities, and I had a difficult time riding the bike back to my house. I managed, but there were times when I stalled the engine, and times when my control was very suspect. I made it home, but I had to go slow and carefully the whole way. It wasn't as much fun as it had been before. I wondered if I could still pilot a plane. I had better ask the voice before Tuesday, I thought. ------- Chapter 24 I spent the next week pretty much by myself. I had spoken with Connie twice during the week. The first time, over the telephone on Monday, after she had gotten home from school, and then again on Wednesday, when I ran into her at the public library. It was becoming more and more obvious to me that she was making an attempt to recapture the lifestyle that she'd enjoyed before her sexual awakening. We ended our Wednesday conversation with me agreeing to not try to contact her for awhile. She was apologetic about asking me for this, but she said that she felt that, in some ways, her future was put at risk by associating further with me. The voice had been quiet during all of this time. I sensed that he was there, but I didn't try to contact him either. I didn't go flying that week, preferring instead to stay close to home and to help my mother. My father was at sea on his ship, and would be gone for two full months. I drove my mother to all of the places that she needed to go to, and tried to help her to become adjusted to my dad's absence. We found her two churches that had weekly bingo games, and I gave her rides to and from the church, so that she could enjoy getting out and doing something for herself. My mom had joined a group of women that met weekly at a sewing center in Brea. They all would attend a class where experts came in and taught them how to use all of the accessories on the sewing machines. I ended up buying a new machine for my mother. She had owned an old Singer portable, but her new machine was capable of doing a lot more. She tried to tell me all the new things it could do, but I told her that she was providing me with information that was as useful and interesting to me, as what my father's explaining different kinds of fish hooks would be to her. She stopped explaining then, and thanked me once again for buying that wonderful sewing machine for her. That Saturday night, Connie surprised me by calling me at home. She said that she was bored, and asked me if I could come over to take her out for a Coke or something. I drove over to get her, and then we went to a hamburger joint and ordered two Cokes and a large French fries. We sat inside the crowded restaurant, talking about school and other safe topics. Neither of us brought up anything about what she had told me on Wednesday. Just when we began to run out of safe topics, Connie came out and asked me whether I had gone out with anyone else on Friday night. "No, I stayed home, and got caught up on my reading. How about you?" "I went out with a boy from school, to a movie. I thought that I should tell you that." "I want you to enjoy yourself. Senior year in high school, there's a lot going on. You don't want to miss out on it." "I spent most of the time, when I was out on my date, thinking about you, Jimmy, and wondering what you were doing. I got jealous, worrying about whether you were out on a date too. When I see you, I keep thinking that we shouldn't be going out together. When I don't see you, I wish that you were with me. Right now, I wish we were parked at the river, but I don't want to go there with you. I'm all mixed up, and I don't know what to do." "Connie, I wish I had a simple answer for you. I think that part of the problem is that you connect me with what's happening with you and your body right now. It might have been me who first got you thinking about some new things, but you're going to be thinking about them anyway now, with or without me. It was just your time for awakening to that part of your life." "You don't think that I can go back to how it used to be?" "Can you go back to not having breasts, or stop menstruating? You are maturing. What you feel, that is just a stage in the process. It's natural. Rather than try to hide it, or to make it go away, you should be embracing it. I'm not real religious, but it seems to me that those pleasures that we get, are like a gift from God, to each of us. We should appreciate it. I think that, once you get used to it, you'll find that it isn't as intrusive on your lifestyle as it seems right now. It's new, you'll become used to it, and it will be incorporated as a small part of your entire being." "Suppose I want them to go away?" "You can deny that those needs exist, try to ignore them. Put yourself in situations where they aren't as strong. It will be like trying to hide from a big part of yourself, but many people have done it. If you find a substitute, that might work." "What kind of a substitute?" I could see that she was interested in anything that might take her sexual feelings away. "Some people use food as a substitute. Whenever they get the urge, they go eat a candy bar or a dough nut or a bowl of ice cream. Anything, to substitute for that craving that they don't want to have." "Does it work?" "Well, it doesn't work in the beginning, but, after awhile it does. You start confusing one craving for the other, and they kind of blend together for you. Later on, you get fat, and then, get self conscious about your weight, which helps to kill off some of your interest too." "I don't want to get fat." "Then, you better learn to just accept who you are, and what's happening to you right now. It's only a part of who you are, you have to quit pretending that it is the most important part. Don't define who you are by any one part of you. You are a sexual being, so are 99% of the rest of us in our age group. Learn how to handle these new feelings. Let them be a small part of your life. Don't magnify their importance to the point where it overwhelms you." "Is that what you did?" "I think so. It doesn't seem so important to me, unless I'm in certain situations. Then, it seems very important, and I sometimes feel overwhelmed too. It goes away though, when I'm not in those situations." "How about right now?" "Right now is one of those situations. But, sitting here right now, it isn't overwhelming. To be overwhelming, I'd need a more opportune location. There are levels of excitement. Right now it isn't that high a level." "Right now it's high for me, Jimmy. That's what worries me the most, that I can't control it." "I can help you with that, from my own personal experience. Think of what you want to do, and then imagine your parents walking in on you while you're doing that. Try it, and see if it doesn't work." She gave a small shudder of revulsion. "Did you picture it?" "It worked, but I'm still thinking about things, just not as much." "Well, you never completely stop. That is just one way to make things reasonable, so that you can handle it. I knew a girl who would think about getting pregnant, and that scared her enough to stop her from doing things, most of the time." "Did she get pregnant?" "No, she never did. She died when she was only sixteen." "That's terrible. Did you know her well?" "Yes, in fact, I loved her." Connie reacted to that by drawing back on her side of the booth. "Did that high level just drop down to nothing for you?" "Yes, it did. I stopped thinking about it." She had paused before answering, thinking about my question. "It is manageable, Connie, you just have to set your mind to it." "We should go, Jimmy. I do feel better now, thank you." I got up out of the booth and took her hand to help her to get up too. We walked out of the restaurant, still holding hands. We got in the car and drove over to her house, where I parked and turned off my headlights. Connie asked me to turn on the radio, and we sat there, listening to music, and having some companionable silence between us. "What would happen to us if we started kissing? Would my high level come back?" "I would hope so. I know that mine would. If it does, then when we finish kissing, you can just go inside, and let the level calm down on it's own, or, if you want to, you can go where it's private for you, and raise it to an even higher level, by yourself." "Is that what you do?" "Yes, usually. When I go home tonight, I'll go into my bedroom, deliberately let my mind think of things that make the level go higher, and then, do things with my hands to myself, making it get to as high a level as it can. After that, for me, I'll just relax and go to sleep, feeling better about things." "It never makes you feel bad?" "No, why should it? It's my body, and this is one of the ways that I take care of it. It's like brushing my teeth or trimming my fingernails, except that it's a lot more fun to do." "Is it different, doing it with someone else, instead of with your hand?" "Yes, very much different. The result is the same, but the feeling is a lot different, better, and more satisfying." "Have you done it a lot?" "Yes, well, a lot for my age I think." "With different girls?" "Yes." "How many?" "Three." "Really, that isn't so many. When was the last time that you did it with someone?" Now, what are you going to say? Not a good idea. "It's been so long that I can't remember." "Was it before you moved to California?" "I'm not telling you that. It wouldn't be fair to talk about the other people like that. I wouldn't want them talking about me with people either." "So, are you going to kiss me or not?" "I'm going to sit here and let you take the lead, Connie. I don't want you doing more than you want to with me." She moved over next to me and started kissing me. I helped her a little, opening my mouth when her tongue started exploring my lips. When she moved her hand onto my bulge and squeezed it, I quickly removed it. She broke the kiss and looked at me accusingly. "Don't you like it when I do that to you?" "I like it, I like it a lot. I wanted you to stop though. I think it's better for you that you not do that. I think that it's better right now, until you get more comfortable with those other things. It will be different later, or it might not. It all depends on how things are going with you. I want you to see this as just a part of what we do together, not as the only reason why we get together." "When you won't let me do things with you, that just makes me want to do it more." "I know it does, and I'm worried about that too. I don't want you to get so caught up in being the pursuer, that you go past where you would have wanted to go before you got so involved in the pursuit." "I didn't, Jimmy. I planned on doing that from even before I called you up. I was even going to let you feel me down there too. I wasn't going to do any more than that, just feel you and let you touch me." "Give me one last kiss, and then I'll walk you to your door." She did, and, again, I had to remove her hand from my crotch. She giggled when I did that. We got up to her front stairs and I gave her a light kiss and told her good night. "You haven't asked me to go out with you, Jimmy. Don't you want to take me out any more?" "I do, but I still want you to have some time to get adjusted to these new things. I'm afraid that you might be too vulnerable for awhile to be dating me. I wouldn't want to take advantage of you." She looked hurt rather than just disappointed, but she turned and walked inside her house. "I think that I have the solution to our dilemma, Jimmy. You need to tell Connie that you want to go get some counseling to help you get over Carolyn's death. Ask her to come with you, for moral support. This will place her near the path that she took before. You might even suggest that she talk to someone about her own problems adjusting to things. You are willing to lie to her, or not answer a direct question from her, but you draw the line at manipulation? You are right, I withdraw my earlier remark. How about if the two of us agree to compromise? You can try to get her to the counseling clinic your way, but, if she refuses to go, you ask her to go with you, to provide you with moral support. She's a quick learner. In spite of all her protests, she seems to have taken to receiving self gratification in a hurry. Especially fast, considering how recently she began. Also, and this is just to keep you from coming back later, and telling me that I withheld information that would have been useful to you. Last night, Connie saw and touched her second male penis. While it is true that she did think of you at times last night, that didn't prevent her from doing more experimenting. I should also tell you that her date was someone that she has been on quite a few previous dates with, and that he was the first boy that she ever let feel her breasts. It wasn't as if it was with someone that she hardly knew. I'll answer your thought, Jimmy. The one that you were ashamed to ask me. Yours was bigger. Even before I modified it. Also, don't tell me that you aren't jealous. She was excited by it, at first, but that quickly changed when the young man tried to force her head down to kiss it. That didn't sit well with her at all. She promptly got out of his car, and walked all the way home from the river. In fact, it was thinking of you while she was walking home, that prompted her to phone you tonight. After such a bad experience, she feels safer, and much more comfortable, with the idea of experimenting with you. I would have to say that she isn't. In fact, she has already progressed to the point where she has begun inserting objects inside herself. A hair brush handle and a candle thusfar. She is planning on purchasing a new candle soon, one that is a match for your own present girth. Jimmy, must you always? I can tell you though, that I fear that she is fast approaching the time when she will experience actual intercourse with someone. I think not. The answer is still no. All at once, I felt my penis spring to life, and then, erupt strongly, all in the space of about three seconds. There wasn't any pleasure in the act, just a strong physical release. I really hated having him do that to me, this time even more than the last time. What problem? It was good for me, so quit complaining. ------- Chapter 25 Connie called me again on Tuesday night, complaining that I was avoiding her. It was true, but only in the sense that I hadn't called her on the telephone. She and I had nothing set up or planned. "I miss seeing you, Jimmy. I don't like it that you seem to have forgotten about me. I've been taking your advice. I think that everything is all right again, but I won't really know until I get a chance to try being with a boy again." "That's good, Connie. I'm glad to hear it." "Aren't you going to ask me out now?" "I will, but I still want to wait, just to make sure that you've adjusted to things okay." "What do I do in the meantime, Jimmy? I can't just be staying in every weekend. My parents would start to wonder why. Are you telling me to date other people?" "I'm not telling you what to do, Connie. I'm telling you what I'm planning on doing. Going out and getting a Coke or something is all right, but I'm not going out with you until I'm sure that you can handle it." "I understand. Well, I've got to go, Jimmy, bye." Don't worry. There's almost nothing that you could have said to her that would have made you more attractive to her than what you did say. As for her taking more time, as much as I hate to say this, her mind is made up, she wants to experience the full gamut. Now, as in right now. If you put her off for too much longer, she's going to be experiencing it with someone else. It could be a week, or, it could be a lot less than a week. She is thinking of going out with that boy who tried to get her to fellate him. She doesn't want to call him, but the next time he tries to apologize to her, she'll probably let him. She is thinking along those lines right now. Better than you would, I'm sure. I thought that his reply came back too fast and too flippant. Something about it didn't ring true to me. I asked myself whether it was important to me, that I be the first one for her. There might be a small twinge of jealousy, but not anything that I couldn't handle. I made a decision to stay back and let her decide who it would be. I wouldn't call her for at least another week. If you do that, you can be sure that she will be with someone else. Almost a certainty, I'd say. Let's see, Cousin Ralph, Tom Foley, yes, I can see why you would believe that, Jimmy. Yes, you certainly did beat him out, after I had him arrested, twice. I don't want her passed around to a lot of people, Jimmy. If that happens, we'll be no better off than if the rapes had occurred in the first place. I said I wanted her to enjoy sex with her husband, not with twenty boys and men. Besides, her future husband will not be attracted to her, if she's too worldly. "I was speculating out loud. I don't know that. It is more important that he be attracted to her." I am not. You don't know how these things work, and I do. When the time is right, they'll both be attracted as long as she remains the same way she is now, or close to it. I quit arguing with him. For all I knew, he was right and I was wrong. I did know one thing though, if I was right about him caring more than I did, I hadn't heard the last from him on the topic of who would deflower Connie. It didn't take very long for me to get the answer either. That same night, when I was preparing to give Mr. Wonderful his nightly gallop, the voice starting running one of those four dimensional movies in my head. It was Connie giving herself a feverish workout with her hair brush handle and later, the thick end of a tapered candle. And, in case that wasn't enough, I got to see Connie playing with that boy's dick, and to watch him trying to force her face down on it. Yes you did. Last Saturday night you asked me. Don't you remember? You even offered to provide the popcorn. I knew that you were curious, I just thought I'd throw that one in, so that you could see what a little jealousy would feel like. I could take back my enhancement of your penis, that would put you both pretty evenly matched. We appear to have reached an impasse, Jimmy. You have something that I want. I propose that we trade. I'll give you something of value, as compensation for you letting me have my way on this. Name your price. Don't be ridiculous. Something that you want that is roughly equivalent in value to you as this is to me. Your mother died at sixty seven years of age last time through. Now that she's quit smoking, I could give her five more good years of life, without letting things get too far out of kilter. How would that be? You surprise me, Jimmy, I was certain that you'd jump all over that one. All right, here's another one. I will let you go back in time to relive July of 1957 again. The same way as the last time though, no changes. It would give you another month with Carolyn. Do you remember last July? Very well. Here's my last one, but it's a good one, you'll like it. You do this one little thing for me, and I'll give you charisma. More than I've given to Connie. A permanent gift, and one that will help you for the rest of your life. Extend your mother's life and give you charisma? Would that do it for you? Would we have a deal? Done. You don't negotiate very well, Jimmy. I would have gone much higher. You were not! Don't get so smart that you outsmart yourself, Jimmy. I'd hate to see it come to that. When will you call her and ask her out? Were you really going to do it all the time? Call her then, before you change your mind, and before she finds a substitute. "Hi Connie, this is Jimmy again. I've got this crazy idea that I wanted to tell you about, just to see if it makes any sense to you. It has to do with finding out if your problem is under control or not." "I'm not sure that I'd call it a problem, Jimmy. Isn't it more like a condition? It could become a problem if it isn't watched closely, but isn't it just a condition now?" "You're right. That was a very poor choice of words on my part. Maybe, condition is even too strong. Isn't it more like an emotion? That's what I'd call it, an emotion. One that you are now learning to deal with. Something that you want to make sure that you have control over." "I like that even better. So, what's your idea?" "I thought that you and I could spend all day Saturday together. We could find someplace private, and you could practice controlling your new emotion on me." "In the daytime? Do you think that would be a fair test?" "Sure, it would be if it were private enough. The thing of it is, I thought, if we were together like that for a long time, we'd be sure to know whether or not you had full control over it. If you did have, things would be right back like they were before, which is what you wanted, and if you don't have control, then we could find out the areas where you might be weak, and just concentrate on those. It would be a test for me too, because I'd be doing my best to resist you. I guess I'd have to let you do a little, but I'd try hard not to let you make me do things that I didn't want to do." "Where could we go where it would be private in the daytime? Are you thinking about Carbon Canyon again?" "Too risky, people might come by, and the weather might not cooperate. We can't use the car either, not private enough. We could use my house, but my mom is right there, and I'd be nervous with her around anyway. Does it sound like you'd want to try it, if I could find someplace that was private enough?" "I have a tent, but that's not really that private, and it takes a lot of work to set it up." "I could rent a room in a motel somewhere, and we could go there. I'd have to go rent it first by myself though, because that way you wouldn't have to get embarrassed." "I don't know, Jimmy, a motel room? Wouldn't that be sort of sordid. I mean the kind of people who go there who aren't married, well you know what they go there for." "I guess you're right. If anyone saw us going in or coming out, they'd think we'd been up to no good all right. I was thinking someplace like Costa Mesa or Newport Beach, someplace where we don't know anybody." "I'll have to think about this, Jimmy. I really think I have things under control now, but your idea would really put that to the test. I'd like to know, because if it works, and I do have everything worked out now, that would be a huge relief for me. I have been very worried, you know. Do you promise to resist me if I get carried away?" "I promise to try. If it gets to be too much, I promise that I'll give you a warning before I do anything too forward." "You will give me a fair test though, not make it too easy for me, like refusing to kiss me or not letting me touch you?" "We can get together Friday night and work out all of the ground rules. That way, we'll both have a better idea of what we'll permit or won't allow. I'm thinking no touching below the waist though. At least for the first time through. If it looks like you've gained good control, we can ease up on the restrictions a little bit." "It's the new stuff that I'm worried about, Jimmy. That's what I want to control. I think we should be able to do anything we've done before, but not go past that unless we both agree on it." "So, should I get a room down in Costa Mesa or Newport for Saturday? I think the newspaper said it might rain Friday night or Saturday." "I think it would be okay. It's the best way for us to find out how I'm doing. I can't tell my parents where we're going, so I'll say that we're going to see some friends of yours down by Newport Beach. When should I tell them I'll be home?" "Why not tell them midnight? That way we can go out to lunch and get some dinner too, and still have time for several different testing sessions. We'll probably want to take several breaks too. I think I will for sure, just to relax in case it gets too intense." "What time will you pick me up Friday? Seven?" "I thought earlier, so that we could go get something to eat, and still go over to the river to talk about the rules for Saturday." "Come over after five then. Do you want to go out and get some chicken. I'm in the mood for some greasy food for some reason." ------- Chapter 26 Friday morning, when I got to school, I started noticing the differences right away. People were generally friendlier to me, and two different girls in my accounting class actually came up to me to start conversations. After my real estate class let out a few minutes early, I was heading towards my car when a third girl approached me, asking my help with directions to a nearby camera shop. It was strange to be sought after, and nothing like that had happened to me before. I'm not sure what charisma is, but it draws people to you. It's almost like being rich in a way. I decided that I liked it, and that it would make my life better just like the voice had claimed. When I got to Connie's house, she looked at me strangely, but didn't say anything right away. We were sitting in the restaurant, already having ordered before she said anything to me about it. "There's something different about you, Jimmy, and I can't figure out what it is. It's like everything is still the same with you, but it seems different, better somehow. At first, I thought that you had gotten a tan, but that isn't it. Besides, it's February, where would you get a tan from?" "I feel better now, maybe that's what it is. I hurt my back before, but now it's feeling better. Maybe I'm standing taller now because I don't feel the pain?" Just then, our meals came, and we spent the next twenty minutes or so eating Mrs. Knott's fried chicken dinner together. Even though we weren't talking that much, every time I looked over at Connie, she was staring back at me. I felt like the last cookie in the bowl, with a houseful of hungry, screaming children around me. "What time are we leaving tomorrow, Jimmy? I can't believe we're going to be together in a motel room like that. If anyone I knew found out about it, I'd just melt from the shame of it." "I've been thinking about that too. Maybe it isn't such a good idea. If you're already that worried about it, perhaps we should try to come up with a different way to see if you've got control over your new emotions." "Jimmy Gordon, I already agreed to do it, and I'm certainly not changing my mind now. I just meant that we needed to be careful, that's all. I want to be tested, so that I'll know, for sure. You even said yourself that we needed complete privacy to have a fair test. I was just being a little bit nervous, that's all it was." "If you're sure, Connie. I've been a little worried that it might not be a fair test, just because it is so private. Normally, we'd never get the chance to be somewhere that private. I'm worried that it might affect the way that we act." "I hadn't thought of it that way before. You mean that we might do more than we otherwise would, just because it was so private and we might never get another chance like that?" "Like a prom date. Sometimes, girls get carried away by all of the expense involved, and the uniqueness of the experience, and go farther than they might have on just a regular date." "You think this is like that? It would be unique, and it is expensive, I bet, but there is a lot more at stake with a prom, and all of your friends are there too. I don't think it's like a prom date. At the prom, all of your friends know what you're doing, or going to do. This is more private, a lot more private. It will be better than a prom date. What time did you say that you'd pick me up?" "We can't check into our room until after eleven tomorrow morning. I'm going to go down and pay for the room, and get the key, around then. I could pick you up at noon or so." "It would be silly to make two trips, Jimmy. Why don't you pick me up at around ten and we'll just drive there together to pick up the key? I don't mind doing that, really. In fact, I think it would be exciting being there with you when you pay for the room. I want to go with you then. Besides, doing it your way, it would be one o'clock before we got to the room and then we'd need to go out and eat something. We wouldn't even get started testing until almost three. I want to have enough time to make a complete test." "Are you sure? It might be embarrassing for you to have the desk clerk see you, and then draw conclusions about what we were up to?" "I'm sure. I don't give a fig either, for what some dirty minded clerk is thinking. I know what we're doing, and I'm comfortable with that. Let's go to the river, Jimmy, and work on those ground rules." I paid for our meals and we drove back to Fullerton again. It was early when we got there, and we were the first car there. When we had the car parked and the radio playing our favorite music, we adjusted the seat as far back as it would go, and started kissing. On the drive over, Connie told me that she wanted us to do some kissing when we first got there, telling me that she had missed our time together, and that she wanted us to just relax and try to have a regular date too. I had already decided to really hold her off on this date, whetting her appetite for the following day's festivities. The more I fought her off, the more she pressed me. I finally had to pin her hands at her sides while we kissed, and even then, she started rubbing as much of her body against me as she could. "Jimmy, let me go. We aren't going to start testing until tomorrow. Why don't you let me show you how much I've missed you tonight. I promise that I won't go past where we've already gone before." "I'm not going to do that, Connie. I already told you that. Tonight, we can kiss all you want to, but I'm not going to let you touch me on my dick. I know that that's what you're trying to do, but you can't." "I don't see why not. You let me before, and nothing bad happened. How am I ever going to know whether my emotions are under control if you never let me have any emotions?" "I don't think it's your emotions that you're worried about here, Connie, I think you're just trying to get to rub my dick." "Didn't you tell me that it was normal and natural to be interested in that kind of thing? Now you're being a hypocrite, Jimmy. If it's natural, then why not let me do it? Who's it going to hurt? You already said that you play with it almost everyday, and I almost never get a chance to play with one. It isn't fair. I'd let you play with mine if you wanted to." "I want to play with yours too, a lot, but I'd be worried that if I ever did see it, and play with it, that my resistance would crumble, and I wouldn't be able to have the strength to stop us if we were going too far." "Most guys would be happy to let me play with theirs." "That's true, most guys would. I'm not most guys, Connie. I care about you. I don't want to see you taken advantage of like that. After I know that you have good control, I'll let you play with it everyday if you want to. First though, you have to show me that you do have control. Tomorrow, after you show me that you have control, I'll even get all undressed for you, and you can play with it until your eyes get crossed. Just not tonight. If I get undressed for you tomorrow, are you going to get undressed for me?" "Really? I thought we were going to just test my emotional control, not get naked together. I hadn't thought about doing that." "That's good then. We can skip that part. I was just trying to give you an incentive for being good tonight, anyway." "So, you didn't mean it?" "I meant it, but only because that's what I thought you'd want. It wouldn't be until after you showed control though. If we were both naked, there would be too much chance that something might get out of hand, in case both of us lost control at the same time." "We'd both have to be very careful, that's for sure. Would you let me rub my body against yours if we were naked?" "I don't know. It would depend on how much control I felt like I had. I got all naked with another girl once and she took advantage of me. I wouldn't want that to happen again." "What did she do that took advantage?" "It's embarrassing. I'm not sure I should tell you what she did." "It can't hurt to talk about it, Jimmy. That way I can be sure not to make her mistake." "All right. We were in her room, this girl and I. Her parents were gone out somewhere, and we were all alone in the house. We dared each other to get naked and then we looked at each other. Neither of us had ever seen someone of the other sex naked before. With a boy, everything is obvious, and right out in the open so you can see it. With a girl, it's not so open or obvious, so I complained that I couldn't really see that much." "How old were you?" "I was fifteen, and she had just turned sixteen. We were more friends than boyfriend and girlfriend. We hadn't ever kissed even before this day. Anyway, I was complaining, and I was laying on her bed so that she could inspect me. When she got done, she said that she had an idea of how I could get myself a good look. She got on the bed and sat down on my chest with her legs spread open. She opened her vagina up with her fingers, and then told me to look inside. There wasn't that much to see, and I got a good enough look pretty fast. She was getting heavy on me, and I asked her to get off, and told her that I'd seen enough. Instead of getting off me though, she scooched forward and put her vagina right in my face. She had me trapped so that I couldn't get her off of me, and then she made me lick her, right between her legs. I did it, just to get it over with, and when she got off of me, I got dressed and ran home. She wasn't my friend anymore after that." "Did that really happen? I can't believe that. I can't imagine what kind of girl would do something like that. How did she even think about doing that?" "I don't know. She must have liked it though, because she kept coming over to my house asking me to come play with her again." "Did you?" "Not for a long time, but then I forgave her. I never trusted her after that though. She didn't have to trick me like that. If she had just asked me nice that first time, I might have done it for her. I've done it for other girls when they asked me to. It isn't the same as going all the way, but most girls like it better because they can't get pregnant from it." "Did that girl that died, the one that you loved, did you do that with her?" "All the time. She loved it. I told you that she was afraid of getting pregnant? I would do that to her for awhile, and she would have these tremendous climaxes, really strong ones. She said that it was better than anything she could do for herself, but after she had a few of those, she said that she needed me inside her. I always used a rubber though, because she didn't want to get pregnant." "What I don't understand, Jimmy, is why you won't even let me play with your thing, when you already admit that you've done lots of things with other girls? What's wrong with me?" "There's nothing wrong with you. It's just that I'm trying to be good now. Once you show a girl how you can lick them, that's all they want from you. I like talking, and going out and doing things." "That was interesting, Jimmy, and it does explain some things about you that I've been wondering about. How did those other girls even know that you did that? I can't imagine how it would come up in normal conversation." "Usually, it wasn't anything that we talked about beforehand. It was just something that kind of happened. We'd be kissing and making out and I'd be kissing their breasts or something, and then I might decide to kiss their bellies a little. I like kissing girl's belly buttons. Anyway, when you are kissing a girl's stomach, one or the other of you will think about what's right below and wonder how it would feel or taste. If a girl's already had that done to her before, she'll want you to do it to her. If she hasn't, well I usually start thinking about how much she'd like it, and then I start wondering how she will taste. One way or another, from there, it usually just happens." "Is it considered normal making out, or is it considered going all the way?" "You know, I've wondered about that myself. It isn't really just normal making out, because there are a lot of guys who won't do it to a girl like that. It isn't going all the way, because only intercourse is that. It's kind of between the two, like when a girl takes a guy in her mouth. It's more than making out, because he cums, but it's less than when he puts it inside her vagina. But, we're a long ways away from any of that. Right now we need to establish the rules that we'll use for the test. I think it should consist of five stages." "Five stages?" "Yes, the first stage would be just sitting together, to see whether you can just sit there and not do anything else. Now, I'm sure that you won't have any trouble with this one, so we'll make it a ten minute stage only. The second stage will be both of us kissing. We'll kiss for a few minutes, say fifteen, and see if we can both resist doing any touching or feeling each other up. The third stage will be harder, that's when we will kiss and do a little bit of fooling around. I'll touch your breasts, and let you do anything you want to above my belt line." "That doesn't sound like a fair test. You get to play with me, but what do I play with?" "That's in stage four, Connie. In stage four, I'll get undressed. Now, this is if you pass all of the other stages. We can kiss, and then you can touch wherever you want to, until I tell you to stop." "How long is stage four going to be? As long as stage two?" "No, not that long. I'll hold out until I feel myself starting to lose control, and then I'll ask you to stop. If you do stop, then we'll go on to the final stage." "Which is?" "In stage five, we'll both be undressed and I'll be kissing your breasts but you can't touch my dick or do anything else to me. After I'm done with kissing you, you can rub yourself all over me, but you can't touch me with your hands at all. I won't stop you from doing anything else until the time is up, as long as you don't try to use your hands." "How much time? How long do I get?" "Ten minutes. That's it, because any longer than that, and I might lose control myself. And, we can't begin stage five until after we've had a break from stage four, as long as it takes to get myself back under control." "What happens if I pass stage five?" "Then we both know that you've got your emotions under good control, and we can go back to our normal dating and start doing fun things again. I'm just about ready to start flying passengers now. We could fly somewhere and celebrate you passing everything." "Suppose I fail, what then?" "I guess you'll need to work on whatever you failed, and then take the test again later." "In stage five, the only way I'd fail is if I used my hands? I could do anything else as long as I didn't do that?" "What do you mean by anything else?" "Anything. Could I rub anywhere on your body with any part of my body?" "Yes." "Could I kiss you anywhere I wanted to?" "Yes." "Suppose I wanted to have you kiss me in some places? Would you do that?" "I'd kiss your breasts, or your neck, I'd kiss your thighs or your stomach if you wanted me to. If your asking whether I'd be willing to lick you between your legs though, I don't think so." "I knew that you'd say that. Why not? I thought that this was supposed to be a real test?" "I already told you why. If I did that to you, that's what you'd be wanting me to do whenever we go out. I've seen it before, and it's always like that. There's a lot more to a relationship than orgasms." "So, you're aren't ever going to do that to me? It isn't fair you know that? You practically told me that you did it with all of your other girlfriends, and then you quit doing it when it's my turn? I don't like you very much right now, Jimmy. That's mean. I have an uncle who's just like you. When I was about nine years old, he took me to this big candy store and we looked at all the different kinds of candy that they made there. It smelled so good in that store. And then, after I'd been looking and smelling all that candy for ten minutes or more, he just told me that it was time to go. He never bought anything." "So what you're saying is that I'm doing this to you after getting you all excited about getting licked, like me not putting my tongue on your pussy is the same as that candy that you never got to eat?" "That's putting it crudely, but, yes, that's what I mean. You might not know this, but no girl likes to be treated to less than the girls before her. It's insulting, almost like saying that you don't like me as much as those other girls. Ever since we've been going out together, I've felt that about you, that you're holding back. Tonight, I find out just how much, and it's very insulting. You don't even let me touch it, and then, you admit that you went all the way, lots of times, with all those other girls. I'm not even asking you for that, but I do think that you should do that other thing for me." "You've never had it done to you, and probably never even heard of it before today, but now you're insulted because I don't want to do it to you?" "I have so heard of it. I even know some girls who've had it done to them. I know two girls who do it to each other. I've wondered about how it would feel for a long time." She's heard of it. The girls that she said do it to each other, well, in truth, she's only heard some rumors. She made up the part about knowing girls who have experienced cunnilingus. Several of her acquaintances have, but she doesn't know this about them. She has wondered about it being done to her, recently, and this was only in conjunction with her masturbatory fantasies. Until fifteen minutes ago, at the time when you first started in with your totally made up litany of rank prevarications and gross exaggerations, she hadn't actually expected to experience it anytime soon. It was something on her list of things that she wanted to do someday, though. You're doing well, Jimmy, she's ready to skip stages one through four right now, and go directly to stage five, right here in your car, tonight. She is beyond what the two of you termed 'high level' excited. An exercise in futility, Jimmy. Believe me when I tell you that she isn't about to call anything off. I would only worry that those three new candles that she purchased on Tuesday, will be completely melted by the morning, and that her vagina will be full of wax. I can put her to sleep before she gets a chance to masturbate, if you want me to. That should help to sustain her enthusiasm for tomorrow. You prefer to shoot fish that are trapped in barrels, I think. I may have used that phrase with you before. If so, it was good advice, and it does apply to this situation, in a very apt manner. I will see to it the Connie comes to you in the morning, well rested, and with a huge amount of happy anticipation. "Connie, I'll think about what you said. I'm sorry if it seems to you that I'm slighting you in any way. That certainly isn't how I intended for it to be. I'll take you home now, so that we can both get a good night's sleep and be ready to breeze through your test tomorrow. Try not to be angry at me until after I've had a chance to think about what you've told me." "I'm not angry, Jimmy. I'm a little disappointed that you treat me so much differently than you treated your other girlfriends. I'm not all fragile, mentally or physically, and you don't need to treat me like I am." "After tomorrow, if everything goes okay, we'll talk some more about what each of us wants and expects. I like you, Connie, and I want to spend a lot more time with you." I drove her home and we kissed some more while we were parked in front of her house. I let her rub my dick, from outside my pants, on our last kiss. While she was doing that, I leaned my mouth close to her ear and whispered to her. "I wish we hadn't started talking about me eating your pussy. All I can think about right now, is how yours would taste to me if I was licking it." She squeezed my dick so hard that I was afraid that she'd cut off all of my circulation down there. Our next kiss was more intense than any of the other ones that we'd shared that night. I had a difficult time adjusting my dick so that it would be comfortable when I walked her to her door. If either of her parents had seen me right then, there's no way they would have allowed me to keep seeing their daughter. I was going to have to ask the voice to put me to sleep before I abused myself so much that I'd be out of commission the next day. I drove away from Connie's house in a hurry to get home. I had decided that I'd rub one out first, and then, ask the voice to help me get to sleep. Jimmy, in answer to your earlier question about your charisma enhancement. First, I need to tell you that it doesn't have the same effect on all people. Some will be affected by it much more than others will be. At the least though, everyone will see you as a little bit better in almost all things. Better looking, smarter, more of a natural leader. People will want to be associated with you more than they would have before. It will make it easier for you to get your voice heard, and your opinions, thoughts and wishes listened to. If you can think of it as being a boost in your personal wattage, that might be the most accurate way for me to describe it. You will now be able to project a more compelling image in all that you do. You should notice fewer disagreements among people that you have been associating with, and be able to make new friends much easier. Of those that are most affected by your enhanced charisma, they will be very easy to motivate, and for you to convince, about almost anything. Connie though, has very little reaction to your charisma enhancement. No, it's a random reaction, spread over what most resembles a bell shaped curve. It just happened that Connie is on the lower reaction end of the curve. Yes, but she isn't that affected by it. That tiny blond girl in your real estate class? The one with the blue top and the black skirt, who sat right in front and just to your left? She was really affected by it. You should take a moment or two, just to listen to her thoughts, the next time the two of you are together in class. Ask me, and I'll set it up for you. Don't ask though if you need to be concentrating on anything else. That girl has a vivid imagination, and an almost limitless capacity for expressing it. I listened in on her thoughts for the entire class today. She might be someone that you should get to know, just for the future. "Jimmy, I do, and I'm not trying to match you up with her for the immediate future. She's just someone who it would be safe for you to interact with, and her sexual tastes and preferences coincide remarkably well with your own. She is a true hedonist. At least, she is, in her thoughts. In her actually putting any of it in practice, she is much less so. I got home, and after I got myself ready for bed, instead of spanking my monkey, like I had planned, I went right to sleep. When I woke up, at eight thirty, I had to hurry, just to get everything done that needed doing, before running over to pick up Connie. There was no doubt in my mind about who was responsible for me not getting any relief the night before. I could feel that the voice wanted me to say something, and I just knew that he had some snappy comeback that he'd rehearsed for me too. Well, I wouldn't give him that satisfaction. I stayed quiet, not communicating with him at all. I could sense that he was growing increasingly restless, almost ready to explode with his anticipation. I still didn't say anything to him. Finally, he was so restless that it was making me uncomfortable. What do you mean? "Why are you so fidgety inside my head?> I'm not in your head, Jimmy, whatever gave you an idea like that? Jimmy, you are being very bizarre right now. I can assure you that I'm not physically present anywhere near you, or at all, come to that. Jimmy, listen to me, this is extremely important. I want you to think about any differences in me that might have occurred to you since you and I first came into contact. Is there anything different, or an incident that you can point to, where you could say that it was right then, that you actually started to feel my physical presence within you? This isn't a negotiation, Jimmy, this is the result of a serious breach of policy on my part, one that could lead to severe complications for both of us. Tell me when it first happened. Jimmy, then please tell me how you are able to hide some of your thoughts and memories from me now. It is almost like you have a cloaking device for part of your mind that you can activate at will. If you don't tell me what I need to know, Jimmy, I'm going to have to rescind all of our deals, every one of them. Do you know what that means? I used my sense of the voice. It was a sense that I was growing more confident about. I could feel that the voice was trying to throw me off from what I was attempting. I could sense fear, almost bordering on panic. Somehow, I knew that my fate was so interwoven with that of the voice, that, if he destroyed me, it would destroy him as well. I sensed no willingness on the voice's part to end his own existence. In fact, I sensed just the opposite, hence that panic. It was still a big gamble that I'd be taking. To make matters even worse, if I was wrong, I'd never get a chance to make love to Connie. I really wanted to do that too. My charisma might not affect her very much, but her charisma, it definitely affected me a lot. I wanted to have her so bad that I could taste her. I was planning on actually tasting her in a matter of hours. I was so close. Even right then, when I was trying to think things through, I had an erection from thinking about her. I was in a bad way about her. ------- Chapter 27 I stood there waiting. I was afraid and excited, both at the same time. What if I'd guessed wrong? It was possible that I was kidding myself here. Was this like an ant trying to rape an elephant? Every second that I waited seemed so much longer than that to me. By the time that I'd begun to be convinced that I had been right, and the voice would have to deal with me on a more equal footing, I started sensing that I was all alone again. I couldn't feel his presence with me at all. Silence. Silence. Silence. I went outside and climbed into my car. As I drove over to Connie's house, I tried to think about what it meant that the voice was no longer with me. Was I missing any of the gifts and enhancements that he'd bestowed on me? If I still had them, would he ever return, so that I could get more from him? I missed him being there. It was comforting to have him around to keep me company. I felt much safer with him here looking out for me. These were just some of my thoughts as I drove towards Connie's house. As soon as I pulled up in front, Connie came running out the door. She must have been standing near a window, watching for my approach. She looked nice. It looked to me like she had taken some pains to fix her hair, and she had taken some care with her clothing too. I jumped out and ran around to open my door for her. She gave me a quick kiss and a warm smile as soon as she got close enough to me. "What took you so long, Jimmy? It's five after ten already. I thought we had agreed on ten o'clock?" "Sorry, Connie, I had some chores to do for my mother first. You look very nice today, and very chipper too. I'm sure glad it held off from raining today." "I feel good. I went right to bed as soon as you dropped me off last night. I guess I was more tired than I thought I was. I didn't even take a bath like I was planning on doing. Are you excited about today? I am, I can sure tell you that. Ever since I got up this morning, I've been thinking about those five stages. I don't think that I'll have any problems with them." After I had come around to the driver's side and slipped in behind the wheel, I noticed how close to me Connie was sitting. There was room enough for another passenger on her side of the seat. A big passenger. "You feel pretty confident about it then?" "Extremely confident, supremely confident in fact." "That's very good to hear. I'm glad that you feel so positive about things. Connie, if you take a look at me right now, do I look more like I did in the restaurant last night, or more like before, when my back was hurting?" She looked at me closely. "I'd say just like last night. Why? Don't tell me that your back's sore again?" "No, I'm fine. I just was wondering about something, that's all." "Well, good. I wouldn't want you to cancel my test, just because you weren't feeling good." I had made reservations through the travel agency that I used, to a suite at the hotel close to the Balboa Bay Club on the Coast Highway. The suite that I had booked looked out on the water, and had a really magnificent view. It was expensive, but I really wanted Connie's first time to be one that she'd never forget. Everything was all paid for already, and all we had to do was go to the front desk and register. The travel agent had called ahead, at my request, asking if there would be any problem with us having no luggage, and was assured that the hotel had no problem with that, as long as their suite was already prepaid. If Connie had thought that it would be fun to stare down the looks that some motel clerk might give her, I wondered how she'd like doing that with the hotel's concierge. I couldn't wait to see the look on her face when I pulled up to the valet parking attendant at the hotel's entrance. "Jimmy you're not going to try to get a room here are you?" We'd just turned in off the highway, and I was pulling up to the waiting parking attendant. He opened the door for Connie, and I noticed her hesitating about getting out. I got out of the car and began walking towards the entrance. She finally got out nervously, and then walked over to join me near the doors of the front entrance. As soon as we drew close, a bell hop opened the door and greeted us, pointing the way over to the front desk. If he thought it unusual that we carried no luggage, he refrained from making any comment about it. At the front desk, I registered, and inquired about the procedure for calling and paying for room service, and was told that they would accept cash at the time of delivery. I assured them that this was perfect for me. They got a bell person to show us up to our suite, and I tipped him two dollars for his trouble. I sat down on the sofa in the main salon just as soon as the bell boy left, and watched as Connie went all over the suite, touching everything and making little comments about how nice it all was. The bell boy had opened up the long curtain that revealed the two large picture windows that looked out on the water. There were several boats within our view, and Connie was enthralled by it all. I sat there, enjoying watching her take it all in. "How much is this costing you, Jimmy? No, don't tell me! I shouldn't have asked you that. This is the most beautiful room I've ever been in. It's so wonderful that I forgot, for just a minute or two, why we were here. I thought that there would be a bed though." "There are two beds, Connie. Through that door. Take a look at the bath too while you're in there." The door opened up to two bedrooms, one was smaller, and off to the left, but the master bedroom, all the way in the back, was over six hundred square feet in size, and it had a bathroom attached to it that was absolutely stunning. The travel agent had shown me pictures of everything when I went there to pay for the suite. Connie was gone for ten minutes. I heard her making cooing noises when she first went into the bathroom. Finally, she came back out again. "Jimmy, this is better than any prom could ever be for me. It's going to make it impossible for me to pass my tests though. A girl dreams about how she would like her first time to be, the setting, the mood, everything about it. I never once dreamed of anything as nice as this is. I've known, for awhile now, that I wanted you to be my first lover. Can we put the tests off today and just make love instead?" I stood up then, and she came to me. I didn't say anything to her, but as we kissed, both of us drifted back towards that master bedroom, and the huge looking bed that was waiting against the back wall. We undressed ourselves, and each other, never once stopping or pausing in our kisses. I flipped the covers back on the bed, and pressed her back down on the mattress. There are moments that stand out with such clarity in your memory, that you can just close your eyes and instantly recall even the smallest detail of the captured moment. I can still see the grain pattern on the wood of the night table that held the big gray lamp with the off white shade. I can smell the slightly stale smell that attached itself to the bed covers. Most of all though, I can remember every physical feature that Connie had. The light that caught the tiny, nearly invisible, hairs, that stood straight out on her body. The goosebumps that seemed to raise up wherever my fingers or lips sought to touch her. The taste of every part of her. I already knew what her lips and neck tasted like, but the rest of her skin tasted different, separate and distinct tastes that, once tasted, stuck with you even after you went off in search of yet another sensation. Her breasts tasted different than her areolas, and the nipples tasted different from both. I feasted on all of her, not hurrying, and not responding to any importuning's from Connie, for me to get to where we both knew that I was heading. There is a time for rushing, and there's a time for having patience, and for being painstakingly slow and thorough. If ever there is such a time, it is when you are engaged in something that is a one of a kind opportunity. A women's virginity is certainly just such a time. And so, I took the time to savor and enjoy it all. It wasn't just a case of me taking my pleasure though, I gave it also, as freely as I could, and in as much abundance as I could manage. When the time finally came for my tongue to come into contact with her nether lips, I like to believe that I was prepared to answer the challenge. I was a musician, one who had, for this one short period of time at least, mastered, and then, transcended, his instrument. I hit every note right on time and in the correct key, and then, I came back, and repeated that same haunting refrain, over and over again. By the time that I had finished playing all my compositions, my instrument was wilted, and the audience was too stunned to demand an encore. Sometimes, after a truly great performance, there is a pure silence from those gathered, a silence that keeps raising itself up, until the pressure demands to be released, because it is simply too great for it to continue any longer. Then, suddenly, a thunderous applause breaks out, sweeping everything before it's path. That didn't happen in this case. What did happen, though, was every bit as satisfying. At least, it was for me. Connie opened her eyes, and then, she smiled. Not just a smile, but a smile that spoke of total satisfaction and contentment. This woman, who now lay beneath me, had just experienced the very best that I could offer her, and, she had found it completely acceptable. My heart was nearly bursting from the pride that I felt because of that smile. "I'm sure that I can pass your test now, Jimmy." "You already did, sweetheart, you already did." We rested after that, and then repeated ourselves twice more. Connie turned out to have a natural affinity for fellatio, and even managed to deep throat me for a second or two before she gagged on it, and went back to just sucking on the helmet. We got up at around five and used that huge shower before jumping into the two person hot tub that sat in the corner. At six, our room service order arrived, we both demolished all of the food in sight, even down to the butter and crackers, that came in a little, silver, rack. After we had eaten all that we could find, it was back to bed for us, but this time, to just play and fool around without any further intercourse. Connie said that she was sore, and I spent almost an hour, kissing it all to make it better. She finally pushed my head away, crying out that my kisses were hurting now, rather than helping. We lay snuggled together, hugging each other, both of us still savoring our first time together. "I thought that you were lying before, Jimmy, when you said that your other girlfriends didn't ever want to do anything else but get licked by you. Now, I'm not so sure. I like it when you put your dick in me, because I feel full, and because it feels so right for it to be there. When you lick me though, something inside me just melts, and I turn into jelly. You can describe it to someone, and even try to imagine it, but, unless you've actually felt it for yourself, you don't have any real idea of what it is. When we made love, it felt like I thought it would. Maybe a little bit better, but just about what I had expected. That isn't true about you licking me, or, what did you call it? Eating me out. That's a very good name for it. I felt like I was being eaten, ravaged and devoured. It was not anything like what I had expected though. Much different than my finger feels, so much different." "So, does that mean that you'll let me do it again to you, sometime?" "I just might. In fact, I'd probably let you do that to me anywhere that wasn't out in public. I remember what you said about that other girl, the one that didn't want to get pregnant. After you ate me out, and I had all of those climaxes, when you took your dick, and put it against my pussy right after, I saw that you weren't wearing a prophylactic, but I wanted you to put it in me anyway. I don't know if you made me pregnant or not, Jimmy, but it was perfect, even if you did. I don't regret anything. If I am pregnant, I'll just remember how perfect everything was today, and how much I loved you when you were making love to me." I wanted to cry as she said that. Up until the moment that she said that, I hadn't thought, not even once, about getting her pregnant. I had half a box of rubbers in the glove compartment of my Caddy, all of them leftover from my time with Donna, and I hadn't even once thought to bring any into the hotel with me. I was beating myself up mentally, when the thought first occurred to me, about how I might just have been used again by the voice. I had been totally taken in by his misdirection this time. I suspected something, but I had no idea about whether I could prove any of it or not. If my suspicion was true, Connie was pregnant, and would deliver my child in nine months time. Only it wouldn't really be my child at all. If my suspicions were correct, the voice was deeply imprinted on all of my semen and DNA, and the voice would really be the father of that baby. That was where he had disappeared to. I had nothing to support any of this wild conjecture, but it is something that I completely believed. This whole thing had been an elaborate set up just so that the voice could use me to shoot his seed into Connie's womb. Why me? Why Connie? What did he have planned for the two of us? I was all alone now, in terms of having someone that I could discuss my suspicion's with. I was just about to jump up out of that bed when the voice spoke to me again. It wasn't inside my head this time, but coming out of Connie's mouth using her lips and tongue and vocal cords to speak to me. Jimmy, please calm down. Some of your fears are valid, but there isn't anything sinister that has happened here today. I tricked you, I'll admit that to you right now, but, believe me when I tell you that is was all for the best. I'm right here, in Connie. I'm her new fetus's. You're going to be a daddy, isn't that wonderful? I never told you any of my real plans, Jimmy. If I had told you, you would have never gone along with me on them. Now, you don't have any choice. It's already done. I can't do that right now, Jimmy. This is the only way that I can communicate with you for the next few months. Don't worry, Connie isn't hearing any of this, and she won't ever know about this either. If you try to tell her, they will have you under psychiatric evaluation in no time at all. Right then, the voice caused Connie's hand to reach out and take mine. Suddenly, it was my lips, tongue, and vocal chords that he was using. Is this better, Jimmy? The things you ask me to do for you. I've gone to a lot of trouble to set everything up just perfect for all of us. I've got everything put away that we'll ever need to have a good life together, but it has to be together, all of us together, forever. I've already placed a lot of myself in each of you, and even after we're born and mature, there will still barely be enough room for all that I am. I'm thinking now, that I'm going to need to be at least triplets before I can safely contain everything inside all of us. Abandoned parts, Jimmy. You don't kidnap abandoned parts, you salvage them. That's all you were when I found you and salvaged you from an imminent trip to the morgue. You were barely alive when I came to get you, and brought you back to this when. Connie was in even worse shape than you were, when I salvaged her. You both should be very grateful for all that I've done for you. I admit that the primary reason that I did it for you was so that my plan could come into being, but the fact still remains that you benefited greatly by it as well. That should be taken into consideration before you come to any hasty decisions. You have to remember, Jimmy, that it's done now anyway, none of us could back out now, even if we wanted to. Not that any sensible entity would want to back out of something with such a wonderful potential. Jimmy, don't be like that. Can't you, just for once, set aside all of your suspicions and distrust, and look at all of this objectively? It will all be there for you this time around. The money, power, sex, relationships, friendships, whatever you want, right at your fingertips. All that you have to do, to get all of that, is just take care of Connie, and your little ones for a few short years. After that, the sky can't even contain our limit. We will have no limit. Together, we'll all be immortal. We can rule this world, and a thousand more besides. Because not every guardian has my vision. Those small minded entities opposed me at every turn. It was necessary for me to harness and consolidate some resources. They say that I stole them, and they want them back, but, they're mine by right. I salvaged them, they're mine, just like you and Connie are mine. I'm fair though, Jimmy, you know that. I can share. At least I can share some things with you. I will have to have the final say and authority, but that's only right. You owe me some loyalty, Jimmy. I came to get you. I didn't have to do that. You and Connie both owe me. I can hear what you're thinking, Jimmy. Don't do it. I've come too far, I'm committed now. Don't do it, please, please don't do it! I had the steak knife in my right hand, and Connie had hold of my left. "Let my hand go Connie, please." I felt her release me, I reached across my body and placed the blade of the knife against her throat. I pressed down as hard as I could manage, and dragged the blade across until I could see the gaping wound. I then took the blade and did the same thing to mine, careful to slice through my left carotid artery. I didn't want to take any chances on not completing the job. I felt myself slipping away, and knew, from the moment that Connie's hand released mine, that what I was attempting would work. The voice was dead, Connie was dead, and I, well, I was once again dying. This time though, my death had some meaning, even if my other life hadn't. I had stopped something that needed stopping. I was content. I dropped down on the bed, and wrapped myself around Connie's lifeless form. Imagine my surprise then, to find myself awake and naked, laying down in a room with bright lights that seemed to be coming from the walls themselves. Connie was sitting up, naked as well, right next to me, my head cradled lovingly in her lap. Her throat showed no sign of having recently been slit. I turned my face down until my nose was nestled in her pubes, and inhaled deeply. I knew, by that rich, familiar smell, that this was no dream, and it really was Connie. I'd know that pussy anywhere. ------- Chapter 28 It took me awhile to regain my senses and my equilibrium. Coming back from certain death takes a little getting used to. Just seeing Connie alive again had helped to stem any remorse or regret over what I had attempted to do. I assumed right away, that the voice had found some way to escape from my attempt to kill him. I concluded that it had to have been him that had brought us to this place we were now in. I expected to be harshly dealt with for what I'd attempted. I was sorry that it hadn't worked, and yet, glad that I'd at least made the attempt. I would do my best to continue trying to find a way to destroy it, for as long as it let me live. I could only hope that my best would prove adequate in the end. I wasn't that optimistic about it though. As I started feeling more awake, I realized that I should ask Connie if she knew anything about where we were, or how we came to be there. As far as I knew, she had never been in any way aware of anything having to do with the voice. "How long have you been awake?" "I'm not sure, maybe for an hour. I woke up alone, in a different room, and then my wall slid open, and I saw you here. As soon as I came here to see if you were all right, the wall closed back up. Where are we?" "I'm not sure. There was a problem at the hotel. What do you remember?" "The last thing I remember was you saying: 'Connie, I love you with all my heart, please let me go'. I remember that I let go of you, but that's all I can remember, until I woke up an hour ago. I don't remember any problem at the hotel, Jimmy, why don't I remember it?" "I think that we're in trouble, maybe big trouble. I tried to do something, but I'm afraid it didn't work out very well." Just then, I heard a voice speak in my head. It startled me badly. I had gotten used to hearing the voice, even to the point where it became a welcome presence in my head. This was a different voice that I was hearing now. I wasn't sure of why it was different, only that it was. Good, you are both awake now. We tried to speak with the female, but she hasn't been prepared to communicate with us. Since you have been prepared, we will communicate through you. Do not be troubled with fear of retribution from the guardian that was assigned to your world, that entity no longer exists. We have reviewed all that transpired, from first contact, until you terminated all connection with the entity that you knew as the voice. Of course, you project quite well. Is there something that you wish to communicate to us? What bad things? Please be specific. Yes, we have recovered most of what had been stolen, and have replaced what we could not recover. In the entire history of the guardianship, such things have been known to happen occasionally. We always try to return everything to the way that it was before the trouble got started. Which now brings us to the two of you. We are divided as to what we should do with you. I'm afraid not. You see, our policy demands that we return you to where you were, when you were, and to what you were, before first contact with the guardian. There are some of us that believe that this would be unfair to you, as well as ungrateful on our part, considering the selfless sacrifice that you performed on our behalf to restore the guardianship, and to prevent further injury to other worlds. Were we to follow standard policy in this case, we'd be returning you to a certain near term death given your health issues at first contact. Because of our belief, you have been granted an exception. We decided to wait until you were recovered and awake, before returning the female to her time of first contact. We did this in order to allow you to bid her farewell, which we understand is your custom. That might be true, but it still remains our policy, and she was not granted any exceptions. She will not suffer. At her return point, she will be in an irreversible coma, and has less than one of your week's left to live. For all practical purposes, her life was already over when she was contacted. I am now somewhat better able to understand why your guardian found you difficult to interact with. What is it that you would have me do for her? Excuse me while we discuss this amongst ourselves. I will be in communication with you again shortly. There was only about a one second pause. All right, sorry for that delay, but it was difficult for us to reach any agreement on your request. It has been agreed that we will make exceptions for both you and the female. There are, however, restrictions and conditions that you will both have to agree to before we proceed further. You will both be sterilized, and your memories will be erased. You will be returned to a time and location of our choosing. Do you agree to these conditions? No? Please elaborate. What is it in our decision that you can possibly find objectionable? Excuse me again, please. This time, the voice didn't return for twenty five minutes. We have reached an agreement on the terms of your exception. Do you wish for me to tell you what we've agreed on? We have decided to allow you to pick your own preferred time and place, to not be sterilized or to have your memories erased. Once you have made your choice of time and place, we will present you with a switch containing three buttons. One button will give you your choice, another button will give you our choice, and the last button will return both of you to the point of first contact, and to the conditions that you were both in at that time.You will then get to decide which of the buttons to press, and will have to accept whichever fate you've selected. Excuse me again. The voice was gone for slightly less than an hour this time. You are rapidly losing your support for being granted any exception, human. I warn you right now, that I will not go back again to advocate or argue for any future requests on your behalf. In all of the four million year history of the guardianship, you now hold the shameful distinction for being the first entity to cause guardian members to resort to base name calling and incendiary comments within these hallowed chambers of decision. Listen to me closely, for this is the final decision of the guardians. The two of you will be returned to the room where we first found you. You will not be sterilized, and your memories will be left intact. That is our final decision, there can be no appeal. May the worms of Smyrthalin eat your intestines! didn't I already state to you that I wouldn't go back on your behalf? Two hours passed by slowly. I sat there next to Connie, idly rubbing a breast and wondering how appropriate it would be for me to try to knock off a little quickie while we waited. I would have just been to settle my frazzled nerves. I finally decided against it, and just hoped that it wouldn't be too late when we were finally returned to our hotel room. You have your million dollars, cursed dwarf of Jiklar, but only on condition that you speak not another word to me. Goodbye! The next thing I knew, Connie and I were laying on that big hotel bed together. Connie appeared to be sleeping. I looked over on the night stand and saw many bundles of hundred dollar bills. I didn't count it, I trusted the guardians. Speak. Yes, and thanks to you, I was just given this task. After all my faithful service to the guardianship, I'm now reduced to being the guardian of this backward world, consigned here to take the place of the guardian that you terminated. I never thought that I'd envy that entity, but now, I do. It was my punishment, as I was assigned the full blame for causing our chamber of decisions to be turned into nothing more than a fishmonger's market. I will henceforth be your liaison to the guardianship. Don't call me. Really. I will just have to suffer that additional burden then. I woke Connie up and we made love quickly, and then jumped back into the shower for a rinse. After we were done in the shower, we got dressed and checked out of the hotel just before eleven o'clock. I carried my money in a valet bag that was left for people to place their dirty laundry in. I got Connie home before twelve, and then went home myself. It had been an interesting day, and a full one. I got into bed and fell right to sleep. The last thing that I thought of was the million dollars that I had left sitting in the trunk of my car, but I planned on putting it to good use very soon. What now? What kind of investments? You said that you wanted that money for charity. I will do it human, because it makes good sense, and because, I've been told to cooperate better with you. There is something else that I've been told to make you aware of. Because you requested that you and your female not be sterilized, the chamber of decisions has allowed her pregnancy to proceed. You will be the father of triplets in another nine months. The pregnancy will continue, it is your genetic material only that entered her egg. You too have made enemies inside the chambers of decision, and I am prohibited from appealing on your behalf for the next full year. I think that I'd prefer to call you nothing, if you don't like being referred to as human, but, I'll leave that choice up to you. Your mother is conditioned to follow your direction with investments. Is there anything further? You are as we found you in that room, with the only regrettable exceptions being that we repaired your damaged neck and throat, and then returned you to life. It is a false pride, be assured of that. We aren't enemies. I am a guardian, and you, you are a piece of excrement secreted from the burning cloaca of a Nikhator lamphat. Is there anything else? I woke up the next morning refreshed and alert. I went downstairs to speak with my mother about me putting in some offers on some land that I wanted to purchase. In the time I'd been in California, I had scouted the area, trying to remember where things were in 2006 compared to what was here in 1958. I had located a bunch of small acreage that would be good commercial sites in the future. I wanted to buy them now while they were still very cheap. I was going to have my mother buy them in my name. I didn't remember too much about the stock market from my earlier time, but there were a few company names that I remembered that had done well over the years. I was going to start accumulating a small portfolio now, and then later, I'd try to add to it as new companies went public, Companies that I knew had been successful the other time through. Whatever I suggested to my mother, she just agreed with me about it. I gave her four thousand dollars to use when she went to open up a new account on Monday. I would add to it every week or so, until I had enough money built up to fund a nice sized stock brokerage account. I drove over to Connie's, after first calling her and telling her that I needed to speak with her. I went to her door, and she opened it right away, inviting me inside. I got the chance to meet both of her parents then, although we didn't say much to each other because they were both in a big hurry to get themselves ready for church. I found out that Connie and her family were having some strife about Connie having chosen to discontinue her church attendance. This problem had been going on for the past two years, and usually only came to any harsh words being said on Sunday mornings. I got Connie settled down, and then took her with me, so that her folks could finish getting ready for church. "I don't know why they don't just give up about me going with them. Every week they ask me, and every week, I tell them that I'm never going to church again." "They love you, and want what they think is best for you." "I love them too, but I don't try to make stay home from church. They should give me the same respect for my beliefs." "Maybe when they find out that they are going to be grandparents, they'll leave you alone about going to church." "No, then they'd just be after me to go even more, for the child's sake." "Well, maybe not, not if you were busy raising triplets. They'd know how hard it would be to do that. Especially since you're so young." "Jimmy, what are you talking about? I'm not going to have triplets. Multiple births are rare, and they don't run in my family. Do you know how rare triplets are?" "No, I don't know, but I do know that you're pregnant, and that it's going to be triplets." "How could you possibly know that, Jimmy? We only did it for the very first time yesterday. Don't say that anyway, I sure don't want to be pregnant right now." "It wouldn't have been my first choice either, but that's how it is." "Jimmy, stop that right now, you're starting to scare me. You act like you're sure of it or something." "Connie, I can't explain how I know, but I do. You are going to deliver triplets in nine months." Connie started weeping then, I could see right away, from her eyes, that she had believed me. "I wanted to do so many other things first, Jimmy. I wanted to finish high school, and then go to college. Now I can't do any of that. I've ruined my life." "You haven't ruined anything. You can finish high school before the babies come, and then we'll hire a nanny to care for the children, so that you can go on to college too. It's going to be fine, you'll see. Now that you're pregnant though, you'll probably want to cut back on some of your dating. Maybe just settle on one fella, and stick with him. I want you to marry me, Connie. I know we haven't been going out together for that long, but I really do love you, and we seem to get along pretty well, most of the time. I think we both like making love together. So what do you say?" "Jimmy, I love you too, I think, but I don't want to get married. I don't want to be a mother either, not yet. Isn't there something that we can do?" I held her as she cried. To me, it hadn't seemed like it would be something to cry about. I mean, sure, we'd have to make a few adjustments, but that didn't mean we wouldn't have a good life together. I didn't understand her reaction to it. In a way, it made me feel like she didn't care about me as much as I cared about her. Part of my disappointment with her attitude may have been because I'd never had children in my other lifetime, and this time, I was actually looking forward to it. I am prohibited from appealing on your behalf. The pregnancy will continue. That would be risky, given the current laws, and the skill level and qualifications that the average abortionist possesses. It would be difficult to ensure adequate hygiene conditions. I have been charged with seeing to your requirements. I wouldn't want for her to be put in danger, unnecessarily. If something happened, I would again be blamed for it. Let me see what I can do. Take her back home, and have her lay down. I will dislodge her egg, and induce her menstrual discharge. It will seem like a normal flow, just coming to her a little bit early. She will be fine, and nothing in her reproductive system will be altered in any way. Tell her to quit crying, I hate that. "Connie, quit crying, I've got some good news. I just remembered this drink that my grandmother used to tell me about, that she guaranteed would stop any pregnancies early. I can make it for you, and it will bring your period on, right away.We need to get you home though, because you need to be laying down right after you drink it." "What's in this drink? Are you sure that it works?" "Do you want to keep asking me questions until the babies come, or do you want to get home and get this taken care of?" "Jimmy, you can't expect me to drink something when I don't even know what's in it." "Cinnamon, flour, lemon juice and two different flavors of Kool Aid, plus my Grandma's secret ingredient, which she made me promise not to tell anyone about." "That really works?" I started driving back to Connie's house. He parents were gone when we got there. I went into her kitchen and got a small glass of water, and then put some steak sauce that I found in a cupboard, into the glass, and stirred it with my finger. I went back into the living room where Connie was sitting on the couch. "Here, drink this down in a single gulp, and then lay down. You should get your period real soon." "Jimmy, suppose this doesn't work?" "Well then, if they are all boys, I'd like to name then Huey, Dewey, and Louie. If it's girls," She slapped my arm. I never understood why women always did that when you were being funny with them. "Connie, believe me, it will work. Just drink it and then lay there, you'll see." She drank it all down and made a face at me before laying down. I knelt down beside her, and started playing with both of her breasts. "Is this part of the treatment too?" "Just me entertaining myself while we wait. Do you mind?" "No, I like it okay, but if you hear my parents, you better stop doing it. Jimmy, let me up, I think it's working." She pushed me away from her and jumped up off of the couch and ran into the bathroom. A few minutes later, she came out of the bathroom, looked at me for a few seconds, then walked into her bedroom. She came out five minutes later, and said that she wanted to go out and get something to eat. We were in the car before she started talking to me. "Jimmy, I hope I didn't hurt your feelings when I said that I didn't want us to get married." "No, I understand. It wasn't on the top of my things to do list either, Connie, it was just to let you know that I loved you, and that I was willing to marry you. I didn't want you to think that I'd let you go through everything by yourself." "There's something else that I need to talk to you about too. I've thought about this a lot Jimmy, from a long time before we did that together yesterday, and I'm sure that I'm not ready to settle down now, or any time soon, with you, or with anyone else. I'm not talking about me wanting to go out and do the same things with some other boys that I did with you yesterday, but, I think I should date other people. When I'm in college, I don't want to have to miss out on any of the social experiences that college life has to offer. I've been looking forward to having college be a time where I was free to really enjoy myself. I wouldn't have that freedom if I was already committed to someone." I wanted to say something hurtful to her, at first. If it wasn't for me interceding on her behalf, she'd be laying in a coma somewhere, with less than a week to live. Instead, I thought about what she had just said. I'd already had two relationships end badly for me, with me taking away hurt and disappointment from each. Connie was simply being honest with me. She certainly didn't owe me anything more than that. I didn't own her, and had no claim to anything from her. We'd gone out on some dates, and we'd both enjoyed the things that we did together, even the horseback riding. Unlike me, she had no memory of having led a past life, so she was operating from the reference point of a seventeen year old girl, one who'd been a virgin up until only the day before. If I was in her position, I'd probably be thinking along the same lines that she was. "Connie, I appreciate you being so honest with me. I respect that too. Sometimes, I forget how young we both are, and how much living we still have in front of us. I hope we can still go out on dates too though, because I enjoy being with you. No matter what happens to us, yesterday will always be a special time in my life, and I'll always remember how we were then." "You're not mad?" "No, but then I plan now on going out with other people too. Unlike you, I will probably fool around on those dates as much as they let me." She giggled. "Well, now that you've told me that." "We can both be free to make our own decisions about what we want to do, without fear of hurting each other, or of making each other jealous." "Do you still want to take me somewhere for lunch?" "Italian or Chinese?" "Italian. Jimmy, this doesn't mean that I don't love you, because I still do." "Connie, I love you too, but, I think you're right about wanting to live life before settling down. That doesn't mean that you and I can't get together, now and again, and take care of each other's itches, just like we did yesterday." "I'd like that. Let's go eat, I'm famished." Adroit handling of that situation. Sensible outcome. I went to school on Monday, and managed to get myself a date for later on that same afternoon with that little blond girl that sat in front and to my left in my Real Estate class. I found out that her name was Edna Croll, and that she was nineteen years old. The old voice had told me that she was very susceptible to my charisma enhancement. I thought that I should do some research for myself, just to see the upper limits of what my charisma could do for me. Edna was a cute little thing, probably about five feet tall. She had short blond hair, helped along, I was certain, by the use of peroxide. When I asked her out, she had accepted almost before I got the words out of my mouth. When I asked her what she felt comfortable doing for a first date, she casually told me, almost anything. I decided to take her bowling. I'd never been bowling in either lifetime, so I figured it might be fun to try. We each bowled one line. I had an eighty six, and she bowled a ninety three. It was seven o'clock when I got over to the river and we got parked. "Wow, this place is good. Do you come here often?" "I used to come here with another girl, but we decided that we would both start seeing other people. We came here a lot. It's pretty private, and the other people in the cars don't bother you." "I have to be home by nine, so that doesn't give us that much time." "It's only seven, you only live ten minutes from here. I thought that we could just sit here and talk for an hour or so and get to know each other, and then I'd drive you home. You won't be late, I promise." "You only want to talk?" "Yes, after all we don't really know each other." "Yeah, well, I was kind of hoping that we could skip most of that for right now at least, and, maybe, come back to it later, when we had more time. To be honest, I've been thinking about you since last Friday, when you showed up in class. There was something different about you that I noticed right off. I don't know what it is, but I liked it then, and I like it even more now when we're sitting here so close." "I think you're cute too, but this is the first chance we've had to talk since I met you. Don't you even want to know anything about me?" She reached her hand over and put it right on my cock. It was almost like she had radar to find it so easily. I wasn't hard, so it wasn't like it was an easy target, well, not that easy. She squeezed it, and then she started rolling the head around with the palm of her little hand. I grew rather quickly, as I just watched her, a little bit bemused by it all. "That's a big one, I can tell already. I just knew that it would be." I took her hand and lifted it away from my lap. "Edna, that isn't very nice. How would you like it if I had done the same thing to you?" "I want you to. You want to get in the back with me? I'll suck you if you do, or you can fuck me, I don't care which. We could do both, if you want to. Please? I've been thinking about this all day." "Take off your panties, Edna. I want to see your pussy." It took her only a moment to pull up her skirt and take her panties down, I had suspected that she wasn't a natural blond, and she wasn't. She had a whole lot of dark brown hair on her pussy too. I slid over to her side and dropped my jeans down past my knees. She used her mouth on me just long enough to get me wet before she climbed up, and slowly impaled herself on me. Even after fifteen minutes, she wasn't able to manage getting all of it inside her. There was another two inches that she couldn't take. She didn't seem to mind not getting all of it though. It didn't bother me either, because she had taken enough for me. She was the first girl that hadn't been able to fit me all the way in. It was a good feeling. She was very small though, and that probably accounts for it as much as my enhancement. To be perfectly honest about it, the sex wasn't doing that much for me, and I didn't really understand why that was. She was cute, she really wanted me, and she looked like she was having a ball, bobbing up and down on my dick. It felt a little bit like jacking off when you really don't need to. I wasn't engaged in what she was doing, I was just an observer whose dick was being used. She slowed down after a little while longer, and then, she just stopped completely. "Is something the matter?" I looked at her by pulling her face away from my chest. "I can't cum. I've tried and tried, but now it all just feels numb." There was more than a hint of reproach in her voice. "I'm sorry, but if it helps any, I didn't cum either." "I was so sure that it was going to be great, too." "It's probably my fault. I didn't do that much to help you. Do you know that we've never even kissed or held hands?" "Look, I was ready, more than ready. It wasn't anything that I didn't do either." "Do you think it might be a good idea to get up off of me now. I really don't feel like getting in a big argument with you still sitting on my dick." She at least had the grace to do what I'd asked. When she had pulled up and off of me, I pulled my clothes back up, and, once I was dressed again, I slid back over behind the wheel. "Can you please take me home now? I don't want to talk to you about it either." "Yes, I'm sorry it turned out to be such a bust for you. I feel like I let you down there. At least you beat me bowling though." "This has got to be the strangest first date that I've ever been on. Take me home, now!" I drove her home, and as soon as I stopped, she jumped out of the car, and slammed my door. I had found out that my charisma had it's limits. I was wondering whether that counted as a real fuck or not, since neither one of us had cum. I finally decided that it had to, because there was penetration, and then, movement back and forth. I mean, you'd count it if you came and she didn't. Not counting it this time would be discrimination of the worst sort. With pleasure. What followed was very revealing to me. In that kaleidoscopic, four dimensional movie, I saw everything from her perspective, from the time that we had first seen each other, that morning, right up to the absolute present, as she was fuming at me, going through her front door. What a turnaround for her thoughts about me. What a disappointment I'd turned out to be. A negative consequence of my experiment was that tonight's date had made her feel bad about who she was. I decided right then, that I'd take her out again, and make things right with her. Seeing how favorably disposed towards me she had been in the beginning really made me regret what I had done to her. If I had seen the beginning, even before we went out, I'd have treated her far better. Still, I'd learned something about the limits of my charisma, and how easy it would be to negate the positives that I had been handed going in. A valuable lesson for me, and one I hoped to not soon forget. I was waiting for you to finish. You didn't do justice to the opportunity. No, the self castigation. ------- Chapter 29 The new voice was a great and chronic complainer. Every time we conversed, he would have something that he felt bad about, or that seemed extremely unfair to him. The single biggest complaint always centered around how unfair it was that he'd been singled out to take the blame for the fighting that had broken out in the chambers of decision back when the guardians were debating my fate. To his way of thinking, he had been only the messenger of my bad news. It rankled like an open wound with him. Of course, I liked to wind him up, and then egg him on, just for the fun of listening to him rant and fume about all the injustices that has beset him. I cannot comprehend how it can be possible that I have to sit here, guarding this festering pustule on a Quarrint's teat, while others bask in fine splendor and luxury. Everyone knows that their only talents are their ability to speak ill of their betters, and to plot and scheme to mask their own, too obvious shortcomings. Don't speak to me. Had it not been for those never ending, and totally unrealistic demands of yours, demands that I was required to convey to the other guardian's gathered together in the chambers of decision, it could well have been an assignment handed to me. If only you were aware enough to understand the difference between my previous position, and where I now find myself situated. You will be dead, and long forgotten, three centuries before I am even considered for possible reinstatement to a better position. If you must know, the assignment was for an entity to conduct the search for the undiscovered resources that the guardian that you referred to as the voice purloined from Kyererti. Their value hadn't been properly calculated before. Now that this has been rectified, a new search has been authorized. This is the type of exercise that I excel in. But, thanks to you, I wasn't even considered for it. Yes, there is that. Thank you for that insight. It does give me comfort. There is every likelihood that all their effort will only lead to failure. I went down to Santa Ana, rented a plane, first flying over the area that was going to be Diamond Bar someday. I was hoping to see some familiar landmarks from the air that would help me to locate this one particular area that would later be an offramp that I really wanted to own property on. Had I been a pilot the first time around, I'd have been able to discern the paths of progress much easier and more accurately from up in the air than I had on the ground. I had been up flying for more than an hour, heading due East on my way back to the airport, after swinging over for a look at some other land in the Seal Beach area, when I had my attention drawn to a large and open tract of land situated just North of Seventeenth Street, and South of Garden Grove Blvd. It was also just to the East of Beach Blvd. I knew that this whole area would be covered with scores of small and cheap housing tracts in another year or so. The land that I was looking at was about a twenty acre parcel, and someone was currently farming it. I made a mental note to swing by there to see if that land was for sale at any kind of reasonable price. When I had landed the plane and finished the tie downs, I drove over to that area and found the parcel of land. There was an old and rundown house in the back of the property that looked like it was being lived in. I drove up the dirt road from the paved street about eight or nine hundred feet. The farmer who lived there came out of his house just to see what I wanted, coming on his property like that. I got right to the point with him. "Hi, I'm Jimmy Gordon. My mom and dad were looking to maybe buy some land in the area, and I just wondered if you had anything here that you might be interested in selling. What are you planting out there?" "Asparagus, good little cash crop, too. I'm Dean Trulen, and this is my land. Been in my family for forty years." "How big a piece is it?" "It's a little bigger than eighteen acres now. I had to dedicate some of it to the county for that road over East of here. I've been thinking of selling out here and moving somewhere else pretty quick, but it would have to be at my price. I'm not about to give it away too cheap." "That sounds pretty smart. No reason a man should give it away, not when there's so much money floating around. How much is it that you'd be taking for the whole thing?" "I'd need ninety thousand. Property is all mine too, free and clear, just like my daddy left it to me." "That's five thousand an acre. I'm afraid that's too rich for my folks to handle right now. They'd give that to you in two years though, when their inheritance money comes through." "I'll be long gone by then. I might take as little as Seventy two thousand though, for a quick cash sale. You think they could handle that now?" "No, but they could handle Fifty four thousand, all cash, with a twenty day escrow just to prove title and to take care of due diligence." "You talk good, boy, you must be educated and all. If your parents can come up with sixty thousand, all cash, and handle all the closing costs, they just bought a nice little farm for themselves." "We'll go fifty seven, and split all costs down the middle, except for title, which you'll pay 100%." "Done and done. Who do you want for the closing? First American is quick, and pretty good." "When will our crop be ready to harvest?" "That's my crop, and it will be in and sold before escrow closes, don't you fret none about that. What kind of earnest money we talking about here?" "Three thousand on opening of escrow?" "Can you make it five, and then release it to me when the title report comes back clean? I'm buying a place now up in San Ardo, and I could use the ready cash?" "I don't know about that. If the price was fifty five though, I would release ten thousand then." "I can see myself doing something like that for fifteen. A man would have to be a fool to walk away from that much earnest money that he's already released." "Done. You go down and set up the escrow, and I'll go get my mother to sign for things. My father's overseas, but my mother has a signed unlimited power of attorney for him. Order up that preliminary title too. If it shows clean, you can have your money released the next day if you want it. We can meet at First American at three?" "I can get my end done by then. She got access to that much money, your mom?" "She can scrape it up between her egg money, and the pin money that my dad left her." "It's been a pleasure making your acquaintance Mr. Gordon, but I need to get going if I'm fixing to have all of my part taken care of before three." "Likewise, Mr. Trulen. I don't expect my folks will make too much money quick, but I think they'll make out pretty good in the long run with it." "Just don't let one of them builders come by and offer you any of those joint ventures that they're trying to sell people on. They tack on them subordination clauses, and then use it to get all the construction money from the banks. A man could lose his whole property if the bottom was to fall out before they get finished building." "You might be right about that. This area's already over built if you ask me." "That's why I'm clearing out while I can. Too many of them kids whose parents bought them new houses. They come around at night and help themselves to your crops, too. They think it's funny to take away a man's livelihood." "Well, you'll have some privacy up in San Ardo, that's for sure. No city kids up there." I drove home and got my mother to come down to Santa Ana to sign the papers and pay in the fifteen thousand. I had her write a check for ten thousand on her and my dad's account, and gave her five thousand in cash to pay into the escrow. We set up a twenty day escrow, but Mr. Trulen had come up with a clean preliminary title report by the time we got down to the escrow officer's desk. I read the report and authorized the escrow officer to verify funds and then release the fifteen thousand to Mr. Trulen right away. He still needed to wait a day, but he was happy that it all went smoothly. I suspect that his preliminary had been ordered up for another buyer, but I was in a hurry too. In a year, I'd petition for a zoning change, and get all of that property rezoned for apartments. I knew that it would be worth thirty thousand an acre when I got my zoning changed. It was time for me to go over to drop some money off for Mr. Frenchak. After I took my mom back home, I drove into Los Angeles with five thousand dollars. As usual, Mr. Frenchak asked after my families health and wanted me to get a meeting set up with my father. When I explained that my father was overseas, and thus unavailable for two months, he seemed disappointed. I was getting ready to leave when Mr. Frenchak asked me whether my father had sent the extra money for Gerald. I had completely forgotten the bum that the voice had gotten me to drive over to Mr. Frenchak's mission the month before. Luckily, I had the money on me and gave it to him. "How's he been doing? My father might call and ask me, so I'll need to have something to tell him." "He's making progress, Jimmy, steady progress. He still has his moments of weakness, but he's trying, and we're doing all we can for him. I'm hopeful that he'll be much improved by the next time that you come. Right now, he's overindulged again, and we're trying to get him sobered up. It is a long uphill climb out of alcoholism. It won't be an overnight change for him. He's still delusional and paranoid. He believes that Martians are talking to him." All of the hairs on my neck rose up right then. I hoped that Hal hadn't been paying any attention to my reaction when Mr. Frenchak mentioned Martians. Somehow, I just knew that Gerald wasn't paranoid or delusional. If I could play my cards right, this might prove very rewarding to me. I shook hands with Mr, Frenchak and got back in my car and drove away. I was thinking about the land deal, trying to keep my mind as free of any unusual activity as I could manage. I must have succeeded, because I didn't hear a peep out of Hal. I got the impression that Hal wasn't nearly as intrusive on my every thought as the original voice had been. Of course, Hal was a lot more concerned with what he was missing out on at the chambers of decision, than he was in monitoring our world. I could use that to my own advantage. I made it all the way to bed time, doing my best to keep from thinking about it. It was about ten o'clock before I spoke to Hal. Speak. Other than advancement, promotion, and the envy of your peers, no, I don't think so. Why do you inquire about it? Tell me, and be quick to do so. I could feel a probe, but I'd learned with the other voice how to protect my thoughts from his search of my mind. In a way, it was easier with Hal, probably because he was more reluctant to come into anything even approaching contact with me. We spent the next ten minutes with him probing me and me resisting his attempts. I was beginning to get tired, but then he quit before I did. What would you want as a reward? Yes, besides that. Which, I hope you know already, I would be happy to give you. Do you really know where the property is? If you were to tell me, and if it led to the recovery of the stolen property, you would have me to advocate for you within the chambers of decision. I would take a personal interest in your future welfare, and seek to have a guardian assigned to your world that knew of this interest that I had in you. You have to realize, Jimmy, that there is a hierarchy within the guardian ranks. A discovery like this would almost certainly propel me back to my rightful position, perhaps even higher than before. You would have a friend in high places. There are limits to the help I could provide for you, but they are fewer than you might think. I opened my mind completely to Hal and took him through the whole scene when I first picked Gerald up and delivered him to the mission. I was sure that he had a visual record of everything by the time that he was done. My head felt like someone had put a straw up my nose and sucked information right out of my brain. Hal later told me that it took him less than five minutes to locate Gerald, and to recover all of the missing property. I had asked Hal, after he was done taking my information, to help me get to sleep, and it was early the following morning before I woke up again. Jimmy, good morning. I wanted to tell you that your information proved to be correct. We recovered all of the missing property, and some additional property that we hadn't known was missing. You will no doubt be pleased to learn that I will be assuming new duties, ones better suited to my abilities, and my long service. My new assignment is one that I've long hoped for, but never thought to be given. My replacement on your world will introduce himself to you later, once he has settled into his new duties. He has been instructed to assist you to the very best of his capabilities, and I have no doubt that he will do so. In any event, I'm keeping our communications channel open. You should feel free to contact me if your guardian ever proves to be less than sufficiently cooperative. It was later that I was contacted by my new voice. This one sounded a lot younger than the other two had, and was far more solicitous of any needs that I might make known to him. I wouldn't say the new one was an ass kisser exactly, but he wasn't that far from it. I liked him right away. ------- Chapter 30 My new voice had less of a personality than Hal and my first voice had possessed. He almost never volunteered information or asked questions of me. You would have thought that I'd welcome being left alone, but I didn't. I was just laying on my bed thinking about that one day, when it came to me, I didn't have any friends to talk to. Connie and I had been drifting further apart, mainly due to the fact that she was afraid that she'd get too attached to me, and would give up all of her own dreams in order to stay close to me. Well, that's what she told me. Both of us had been going out with other people for over a month. We would get together, on average, about once a week, for a meal, or to just drive over to the river for a little make out session. Connie told me that she wanted to hold off on us making love again, although we did almost everything else that two people can do. Once you have made love to someone, it is difficult to not repeat it. This is especially true if the sex itself was good. Ours had been fabulous, more satisfying to me than any other, with the possible exception of Carolyn, and the first time with Donna. It had been damn good though, no matter where it ranked on my little mental list of ratings. It was frustrating to me that she didn't want a repeat performance. I had promised that I'd use a rubber the next time, but still, she refused me. I had gone back to Edna twice more, for dates, and for sex. The first time, I really had to turn up the charm and eat a lot of crow before I could talk her into giving me another chance. I took her to a nice restaurant, and then a romantic walk on the beach. I told her that sex in a car wasn't that comfortable for me, and then told her that I'd get us a nice motel room. I promised her that this time it really would be a lot better. It was. I did my best to give her my full attention, and to do all that I could to make it better for her. I even had my new voice play me the recording of her thoughts while I was making love to her. My original voice had been correct, her imagination was fertile, and her way of expressing everything was so lurid and graphic. She would think of something, and a second or two later, I would be doing it to her. One of the biggest advantages of having all of this information available to me was that it allowed me to know exactly how she was reacting to what I was doing to her right away. She enjoyed several nice orgasms this way, and it made it more exciting for me to hear her internal thoughts and responses. Our third time out together, I took her up in a plane, and I fingered her to an orgasm while she sucked my dick. I even let her hold the other stick and operate the plane for a short while. While I enjoyed myself on those two dates, I just wasn't that attracted to Edna for some reason. I enjoyed the sex, and she was all right to be around, but there wasn't any real spark or excitement for her. I would see her in class later on, and she would always hint about wanting me to ask her out again. She actually came out and asked me out once, but I told her that I was mooning over someone else at that time. After deciding that I didn't have any friends, I set about trying to get some. In my previous life, I had avoided most friendships. I preferred not being bothered with all of the obligations that true friendship required. I had people in the bars that I frequented that I could talk to, but no one that I spent any time with doing other pursuits. It had been the same with women. Either it had been a commercial transaction of one sort or another, or else it had been like two ships having a chance meeting in the night. When you don't know how to do it, making friends isn't that easy. At least it wasn't for me. I am selfish, maybe not as selfish as I was the first time, but still, selfish. I like me. If I could find someone just like me, we could be great friends. The problem was, there weren't any people that I knew, who were like me. If I had been able to find even one, he probably would have been too selfish to want to be friends with me. So, I was lonely. I had my parents, and Tiny and Terri, I considered Connie to be a friend too, but not any other real friends, not to just pal around with. My new voice wasn't going to be my friend, after our first few conversations, I already knew that. I was moving around the area, picking up small pieces of property as I went along. I had even gotten my mother to open a brokerage account, and had managed to pick up three or four new issues by companies that I knew had done well in my previous lifetime. I had even sold one parcel already, using a double escrow, and that had given me a profit that represented an incredible return multiple, based on the thousand dollar deposit that I'd paid in. What bothered me about doing that though, was the tax laws that were in effect during this time period. There were loop holes that could be used, and write offs that were easily available, but you needed to hire accountants and attorneys for all of that, and they were damn expensive too. To really benefit from all of those loopholes, you either had to pay through the nose, or else learn how to do things for yourself. I used my good relationship with Hal to get the new voice to implant knowledge of tax laws and accounting in me. I didn't want to have to take the time to learn all of that on my own. Besides, it made Hal feel important to order the other guardian to do it for me. What all of this is leading up to is how I found myself a friend. Ken Bolton was his name, and he and I were similar personalities. He was pushing one of those tax scams that would later be known as tax shelters. Ken was a Public Accountant. Not a CPA, a P.A. He had gotten himself a doctorate in economics from some school over in Europe when he was younger, before he came to America. When I met him, he was forty one years old, a big man, on the heavy side of stocky, standing almost six feet tall, with sandy colored hair, and a complexion that tended to be on the ruddy side of fair. He was originally from Romania, and had changed his name when he became a US citizen. His other name, the one he was born with, was nearly unpronounceable to someone who had grown up speaking only English. I was sitting in this coffee shop, on an early Monday morning, having my breakfast, and reading the newspaper, when something about Ken's accent caught my attention. He was in the booth right next to mine, sitting with his back within a foot of my back. He was speaking perfectly flawless English, but his accent was so thick, that it was hard to understand him at first. He was telling the man he was with something about some oil wells down in a place called Luling, Texas. Being just naturally nosy, I listened in to their conversation. Once you had trained your ear to block out the accent, you could understand Ken just fine. "So, Mr. Claron, these drillers don't need any of the tax right offs, but they do need to find a way to get that money that they need for drilling all of these wells though. These are proven oil fields we're talking about, not any kind of wildcatting, where you don't even know whether you'll hit oil or not. I've designed a program where you would put up all of the drilling money, $37,500 per well, and then you can write off all of the non recapturable drilling costs, plus all of the pipe depreciation from the well head to the storage tanks, and half of all of the depletion allowances that the government now gives to these drillers, in order to motivate them to drill for oil. You get this for the life of the well. The depletion allowances alone, will save you enough in your taxes to make the whole program worthwhile. That's all in addition to the fifteen per cent of the selling price that you'll receive for every barrel of oil that's pumped up out of the ground by your well or wells." When Ken had finished, the other man spoke. "It doesn't sound that good to me. I mean, it sounds to me like you want me to pay all of their costs and expenses, but I only get fifteen per cent of the profits? I don't like that. When I do business, the man who puts up the capital gets to keep the lion's share of the profits. Now thank you for the breakfast, Mr. Bolton, but I've got a business to keep running, so, if you'll please excuse me?" The man then got up and left, leaving Ken sitting there, stuck with the check for the breakfast. Now, this guy had ordered that breakfast, without even telling Ken that he would be the one to be paying the tab for it. It was that point when Ken started muttering things in a foreign language. That, coupled with my interest in what he'd been saying before, about those tax write offs, served to make me curious about what he was muttering. "It is Hungarian, sir. He's swearing at the gentleman who just left, saying that he engages in intercourse with his mother and sleeps with sheep excrement in his mouth. Now he's wondering if he has enough money on his person to pay the restaurant check. I got up from my booth and walked over so that I was standing right in front of him. "Hello sir, my name is Jimmy Gordon, and I couldn't help overhearing your conversation with the man that just left. Do you mind if I sit down here and ask you some questions about your drilling program?" He looked up at me, and when he saw that I was just a young kid, he didn't show very much interest in talking to me. "I'll be happy to pick up that check for you, as payment for your time." He perked right up at that. "Well, sit down then, I suppose I can spare you a few minutes. What did you want to know?" "I've got quite a few questions actually. Maybe you'll want to order up some breakfast for yourself while we're talking?" I took out my money and peeled off a fifty dollar bill and laid it on the table. "Go ahead and order what you want to, and I'll try to pick your brain while you eat it." I saw him signaling for the waitress. I let him order his breakfast before I began throwing all of my questions at him. He was smart, and better organized than almost anyone else I'd ever met. He had a big satchel briefcase under the table, and pulled it up when my questions started becoming numbers oriented. He had charts showing projections for oil flow, including a schedule for someone going in and refracturizing the wells periodically, in order to up the oil outputs. He had geological reports on the field itself, and reports on the quality and sulphur content of the oil coming out of the well heads. To me, it was interesting, but what he'd managed to put together as far as tax write offs, that was eye opening, and totally fascinating to me. The drillers that he had made his deals with, owned drilling rights in parts of this field, but couldn't scrape up the money to lease the rigs to begin drilling. They had already made arrangements to finance all of the completion pipe, to be paid from the proceeds of their expected oil sales, Every penny of the drilling costs was instantly written off, and, there was twenty three per cent of every dollar that the oil sold for that was completely tax exempt at the federal level. With the highest federal tax rate currently sitting at 77%, and the state maximum set at 11%, people who lived in California sometimes would only get to keep twelve cents on each dollar of their top earnings. People who made more than one hundred thousand dollars a year, had part of their income taxed at this incredibly high rate. It acted as a huge disincentive for people to try to work harder to earn more money. This is what started the whole tax shelter craze in California, starting in the early 1960's. Ken was about four years ahead of everyone else. Sir, he believes strongly that this will be a good investment. His problem has been that he can't convince potential investor's that it is the value of the tax concessions that provide the true profits on this type of a structured investment. "It seems to me Ken, that it's the tax concessions that you get that make this baby really worthwhile." "You are exactly right! Exactly. Why is it that a boy in high school can grasp the concept so easily, and yet these supposedly sophisticated businessmen cannot?" "I'm in college Ken, plus I have enough money to pay for the drilling costs on at least five of these oil wells, if all of those numbers you showed me pan out.When can we go meet these drillers of yours?" "Did you say five wells?" "Yes, five, just to start with. I'm buying a plane in the next day or two. How would you like to fly down with me to this Luling, Texas, and show me around, let me talk to your principals?" "You are a pilot?" "I sure hope so, else we're going to be in a whole world of shit when I try to fly that plane." "Jimmy, feel free to tell me no if you want to, but, my commission for finding the investors is five per cent of the drilling money, and five per cent of the oil sales. Would you be willing to purchase my oil sales commission from me for five thousand dollars, for all five wells? That is a real bargain, as you must realize, but I find myself in a rather delicate financial position at the moment, and it would be worth it to me to forgo future earnings to solve my current dilemma." He is truly desperate, almost in a panic. He could lose his state credentials and even face a criminal prosecution if he doesn't get some money to replace some bonds that he misappropriated from a trust that he oversees. Yes, but not out of greed, out of necessity. "Ken, I sense a kindred spirit in you, and I want to be your friend. I think we can make money together, and I like the way that you've dreamed this up, and taken these first steps. I think I'm a pretty good judge of character, so I'm going to go along with that proposition. I'm going to give you my $5,000.00 right now, even before we go down to Texas. I want you to clear up your financial problems right away. I don't want anything coming back to haunt either of us. You can decide to screw me if you want to, but it will be the most expensive screwing that you'll ever do. So, when can you get things taken care of and be ready to head off to Texas?" "I am overwhelmed, Jimmy, at a complete loss at your unexpected trust and generosity. I will not repay you with a betrayal, you must believe that of me. This is such wonderful news. It is so much more than I could have hoped for. You said you'd give me the money now, right? Do we need to go by your bank? I will need to convert the funds into some municipal bonds right away." "Let's pay the check and go out to my car. I have some money in my trunk that should be enough. If not, my house is only a five minute drive from here, and my mother will lend me the rest." I knew that I had almost twelve thousand dollars in a bag in my trunk, money that I was planning on using to pay for a new plane that I was buying. I'd give him the five from that and then go back to the house and replace it from the other money that I kept in my closet. So, that is just what I did. I also got a couple of his business cards and gave him my home phone number and my address. I had the next week off from school, and I'd been wanting to make a long flight anyway, just to check my new plane out. I told him to give me a call when he was ready to fly to Texas. ------- Chapter 31 I bought my new airplane later that day. It was a little Cessna 172, a four place, single engine plane. It was almost new, having less than a hundred and twenty hours in the air. I had to pay a year in advance in order to lease a tie down space from the company where I'd taken my flight lessons earlier. I had checked out everything about my new plane, including having the guardian perform tests on the structural integrity of the fuselage. Before I bought it, I had checked it out as completely as I could. After the sale was completed, I took the Cessna up again, enjoying the feeling of flying my own plane. I was planning on flying to San Antonio in four easy stages, stopping to refuel first in Phoenix, then again in El Paso, from there, on to Midland, and from there, straight in to San Antonio. It would be my longest flight destination as a pilot, and I planned to spend the night in Midland to rest up. On the return trip, I'd rest in El Paso, then fly, the next day, back to Santa Ana. The next morning, Ken called to tell me that he was ready to go anytime it was convenient for me to leave. I had gotten my father and mother to convert money from several sources into five different bank checks of $37,500 each. When we first started out, Ken seemed very nervous about flying in such a small plane, not to mention, with a pilot that had fewer than 100 hours of post license flying experience. After we had been up for fifteen minutes or so, he relaxed, and we had a pleasant flight to Phoenix. We landed, got a sandwich, and refueled. We quickly got back up in the air, then landed to refuel in El Paso, and took a short rest and bathroom break, and then had a straight shot into a small strip close to Midland. We rented a car from the fuel services operator, and drove into Midland, getting rooms at a hotel that was nicer than I expected to find. We went out to dinner, and I ordered a beer with my meal. The waitress asked Ken if he was giving permission for his son to drink. In Texas, at that time, parents could give approval for their underage children to be served alcohol. It was their right to decide, not the state's. We later saw two young boys, no more than eleven years old, drinking beer with their father in a little diner just outside of the Luling oil fields. It was almost unbelievable to me, especially since I hadn't ever witnessed it before. The more I spoke with Ken, the more impressed I was with him. He had a mind that always tried to find a different approach to solving problems. He was constantly trying to come up with new twists to accomplish his goals. He was consumed by the unfairness of the American income tax system. If he had his way, he'd have a hundred clients, all of whom would pay zero in taxes. That was his professional goal in life. His other life fantasy was to be so wealthy that he could afford to spend all of his time in search of the perfect female breast. I had never met anyone else who had such a passionate interest and fascination for the female breast. Wherever we went together, Ken would ogle any girl or woman that came into his sights. It didn't seem to matter to him how old or young they were, or how pretty or not so pretty they were either. It was their breasts that he was interested in. I found myself sitting at a bar with him in Amarillo that night, watching him getting a little drunk on scotch, while I sipped my Cokes. He spoke, unashamedly, about his fetish and lifelong fixation with breasts. When he had finished, I told him about Carolyn, describing for him the way her breasts stood straight out, and how they seemed to defy gravity. He mentioned several Hollywood stars, and asked me to rate her breasts against theirs. He didn't believe me when I told him that Carolyn's were much better, no contest. "The best thing about them was how extremely sensitive they were. It didn't matter where you kissed or touched them, she loved any attention that you paid to them." When I finished talking about Carolyn, I realized once again how much I still missed her. Not just for her breasts, or for the rest of her body, although I did miss those things too, but for all of her. I even missed her bucked front teeth. It was her laugh though, and the way she would melt right into you, that I most remembered and missed. There are times when I give in to it and allow myself to wallow in self pity, and this was one of those times. I finished my last Coke, and then excused myself to go up to my room. I finally had to ask my guardian to help me get to sleep. The next morning we left early, and flew into San Antonio. We rented a car, and then drove over to the town of Luling. The three men that we had come to see were all older men, and they had all been in on the outer fringes of oil and gas drilling in Oklahoma and Texas for more than forty years apiece. To me, there is something that is just a little bit sad about men who are in their late fifties or early sixties who are unsuccessful. This is even more true if they have been doing the same thing for a very long time. In the oil business, it is possible for good men to be unlucky their whole lives, never quite getting that one big strike that would have brought them the wealth and respect that they were after. That pretty much described these three men's lives. They were good ole boys though, and all of them were liked enough that they were given little pieces of leases for drilling and development, leases that other, more successful drillers, didn't want, or need, to fool with. These leases in Luling were like that, too little to be bothered with much, unless you really needed something to keep you going. In all, there were fifteen potential well sites, and the three men had all come together to pool their contacts, and all of their experience, to try to make something good happen, to keep themselves afloat into retirement. All they lacked was enough money to drill their wells, and then they could sit back and live off of the oil flow that was sure to be there. One of the problems that they had though, was that they had a limited time before they had to perform on those leases. The clock was running out for them and they could see that this possibly final real opportunity might never pan out for them. It was a nervous group when Ken introduced me to them. They must have expected a potential investor that was much closer in age and experience to them. Seeing me, I could almost see their hopes fading. I had my guardian scan all three of them for me, giving specific instructions for what I was looking to find out. Within a minute I had my answers. Their original plan had been to make a deal to get the money for the first five wells, and then they had some hope to be able to use their income stream from the first five, to finance the drilling on the next five. Once they had ten producing wells, it would be easy to borrow the money to drill the final five. That is what they hoped for all along. Right then though, they would have each been willing to sell their share in the leases for five thousand dollars or, maybe, even less. I didn't want to push them for the best deal that I could get. There was enough potential here for everyone. I also entertained the thought that it was about time that these guys caught a good break in life. We were all sitting down in this little diner, having the blue plate special of steak, fried potatoes and beans. Ken was trying to calm them down and reassure them about my ability to actually swing a deal like the one we were there to discuss. He told them about my new plane, and about how quickly I had grasped the concept of the tax write offs. It was time for me to speak up. "Gentlemen, I'm sitting on five bank checks right now, each one made out in the amount of $37,500.00. That's a lot of money, but I brought it down here with me because I wanted you to know that I'm serious about possibly doing some business with you. I'm ready right now to tell you exactly what I am prepared to do, and then you can tell me whether that either meets with your approval or it doesn't. I'll fund the drilling for all fifteen of the wells, staggered at five wells each drilling period. If I'm doing that, I want the same deal for all of them that you're giving me for the first five. Ken gets the same deal on all fifteen wells as well. I know that you probably hoped to use the production from the first five to finance the drilling for the rest, but that isn't going to happen if I'm in the deal. I want to be in it for all of them, or in it for none of them. You have to decide which of those two options you'd prefer." The three men looked at each other, and then they asked me if they could have some time to consider my offer, before reaching any decision. I told them to take all the time that they needed, with the clear understanding that when I got back in my plane to return to California, if they hadn't made a decision by then, I was leaving with those five bank checks still in my wallet. I told them I wasn't going to be coming back either. Jack Tate, the oldest of the three oilmen spoke then. "If we do what you want this time, are you going to be available to sit down with us in the future, in case we come up with something else?" "I like doing business with people who are easy to do business with. I know you all were hoping for a better deal than I'm offering, but I also know that you don't have all the time in the world to get this done. I'm not trying to squeeze you for everything I could get, and I'm not trying to just buy you out cheaply. If you take my offer, you'll get all your leases drilled. If you don't, you might, or maybe not. After this deal, I'll know whether or not we have a future working together. I think Ken feels the same. If everybody makes out good this time, why wouldn't we want to keep working together?" "Is there any give to your proposition, or is it just take it or leave it?" "I will always listen to what you have to say, is that what you're asking?" "Darryl here, he wants us to buy our own rig, do all the drilling, and then sell it right after. He has a rig that he can get at a good price too. That would make more money for all of us." Darryl was the one who wasn't wearing a cowboy hat. He wore a hard hat like you saw at construction sites. He looked like he'd done some hard work all of his life. He just nodded in agreement to what Jack had said. I looked over at Ken. "Would it affect my ability to write off drilling costs?" Ken answered me back quickly. "You could depreciate the rig, using the purchase price as the basis. The partnership would lease the rig from you, and we could adjust everyone's account to reflect all of the savings, right after we sold the rig. How much for the rig?" Darryl spoke for the first time, and named a figure that seemed low to me. He said a friend of his had just gone under, and was trying to sell the rig to get enough to buy up some leases, and start all over. I gathered from the other drillers expressions that this was an oft told story with them. Darryl's friend was just another wildcatter who came up dry, and was selling off everything and starting all over again. It was the dream of hitting the big one that kept them all going. I looked over at Ken and he nodded yes to me. He was saying that I should buy the rig at that price. "I'll buy it outside the partnership, and then we'll split the net savings, four ways, equal shares. I'll take care of Ken for the extra accounting work." "Well, I guess we got us a deal then. You got those papers for us to sign, Ken?" Ken pulled five contracts out of his valise, and made three or four changes to reflect our new understanding about the rig, and it being fifteen wells, rather than only five. We all signed and initialed in several places, and the deal was done. "I guess the only thing left here is for us to decide who has to pay for this lunch." Jack said this with a straight face. "That would be me, since I really need those tax deductions." I grabbed at the check and all of them looked relieved, even Ken. I liked these guys. They hadn't spent any time at all with trying to impress or intimidate me. At the end of the meeting, we all drove out to where our leases were. It looked like a big field, with hundreds of oil rigs pumping oil from the ground. Most of those rigs were unattended. That was part of the magic of it. You could be home sleeping, and that well was pumping away, making you richer even while you slept. We started back to Santa Ana the next morning. We made it back easily before dark on the second day. It had been a good trip, and I was happy that I could now make some money, and not have to worry about the confiscatory tax rates. I thought it was ass backwards, getting your write offs before making some profits, but that was how the rich people operated. I was planning on soon being one of them. It was right after I got back from Texas that Connie told me that she had changed her mind about the two of us not having actual sex again. We were eating at that Mexican restaurant over in Stanton, and she brought it up out of nowhere. One minute we were talking about her plans for after she graduates high school, and the next she's telling me that she wants to get a room on Saturday and spend all day fucking. I was surprised, and just a little bit leery too. It had just been so sudden that it had surprised me. I wasn't sure what to think. "This is quite a surprise, Connie. What made you change your mind?" "I've just been thinking about it, and about me leaving to go to Stanford soon." She had been accepted at Stanford, and given sufficient scholarships and student aid that she could afford to go there. When she had told me, she was extremely excited about it. I could see where thinking about leaving to go off to college might make you nostalgic for what you were leaving behind. "Any other reason? I mean the last few times we've talked about it, you pretty well told me that that door had been shut forever." "Can't I just change my mind? You act like you don't want to do it with me. I thought that you'd be excited about it like I am." I would hesitate to claim to be paranoid, and if accused of that, I'd ask my accuser to show some examples as proof. I am somewhat skeptical however, and unwilling to always take things at their face value. My skepticism antenna was now raised. "Has anything happened that helped you to change your mind?" "What do you mean? Are you accusing me of something?" I had been thinking that it might have been something to do with her parents, rebelling against their authority, but her quick shift to a defensive stance concerned me. I was concerned for Connie my friend, not suspicious of what she had been up to. I wanted to be sure that she wasn't in any kind of trouble. She believes that she might be pregnant. She wants to have intercourse with you, and then get you to give her your grandmother's drink to end her pregnancy. She hasn't decided yet. She feels bad to be tricking you now. No "Connie, you aren't pregnant, in case you were worried about that." She started crying after I told her that. "How did you know?" "A little voice inside my head told me. If you were pregnant though, I'd help you anyway. You wouldn't need to sleep with me to get my help." "I'm sorry, Jimmy, I didn't know what else to do. I was ashamed to tell you that another boy had me that way, especially after I wouldn't let you any more." "You shouldn't feel that way, Connie. You should be able to decide who you want to do that with. It isn't anything that you should feel bad about because of me. I've done it with another girl, and I didn't feel guilty because of you." "Are you sure I'm not pregnant, Jimmy? He didn't take it out before he did it in me. I made him take me home right after, and I washed in the tub and soaked as soon as I could." "You aren't pregnant, I'm 100% sure of that. Now that you know that, do you still want me to get us a room somewhere?" Her hesitation was enough of an answer to me. I reached over to take her hand, telling her that it was all right, that we didn't have to do anything at all. Surprisingly, at least to me, given what had taken place earlier, Connie insisted that we go to the river for a talk. After we had gotten ourselves settled and comfortable in the back seat, we had a torrid session of petting which resulted in both of us cumming at the same time, while locked together in a sideways sixty nine position. Right after that, Connie wanted to go back up into the front seat, so that we really could have a talk. "Jimmy, that boy that I did it with, it wasn't by my choice. I told him not to do it, but he forced my legs apart anyway. I don't want you thinking that I let him, because I didn't. It was probably partly my fault, for being almost naked with him, but I didn't expect him to do that. After he did that, I was so glad that my first time had been with you. If that had happened to me before, I don't know how I would have felt about ever doing that again. That's one of the reasons that I wanted to come here with you, to see if everything still felt good with you, or if I'd get afraid again." "It bothers me that you think you were in any way responsible. You weren't. Don't try to take any of the blame for it. It was his decision, not yours. You have the right to say no at anytime, even if you are in the middle of doing it. If he doesn't stop, he's raping you. It's that simple." "Jimmy, I wish I wasn't so worried about getting pregnant, because I'd really like to do it again with you. I just can't take the chance." "I understand. I'd like to make love with you too, but not enough to want you to be worried afterwards." "Tell me about this other girl. Was she as good as I am, was she better? Are you still going out with her? Do you know that it's driving me crazy to think of you with someone else? That's crazy, but I feel like that anyway. I love you, Jimmy." "Connie, I love you too. In a way, it's because I love you, that it's easier for me to let you go. I know how important the next few years are to you. If it's meant to be, we'll get together again sometime, but not until after you've gone to school, and have lived all of the things that you want to experience. I'm guessing that I'll still be here in Fullerton after you're done with Stanford." I took her back home, hoping that this was a turning point for us, and that it meant that we wouldn't continue drifting apart. I missed having her to talk to, and to go places with me. I knew that I needed to be careful to make sure that I wasn't standing in her way. I wasn't under any illusions that we would be together someday, but I did want us to be friends, especially if she came back to Fullerton to live after college. Over the next three months, I concentrated on buying and selling real estate. Before, I'd been buying to hold it, but now I was looking to turn things over quickly, so I concentrated on finding deals where I was buying way under current market value. Ken Bolton proved to be a big help in preparing presentations, and to form partnerships that I could sell properties into. While not limited partnerships, they hadn't been invented yet, Ken's ideas allowed individual investor's to pool their money and own undivided interests in several properties at one time. It was almost like a trust, with Ken as the trustee. In three months, I'd made almost a quarter of a million dollars, more than half of that from a deal that I'd just stumbled into while out looking at something else. I had been trying to buy a six acre parcel north of Brea, hoping to get it cheap, and then sell it into one of the partnerships that was looking to hold several land parcels for eight years or more. The owner didn't want to sell at my price, but he did have forty three acres just south and east of Yorba Linda that he was willing to sell on very favorable terms. He agreed to take ten percent down, and then interest only payments for six years. He was asking only five per cent interest per year. I thought the asking price was about right for the area right then, but I couldn't resist those terms. I knew that that area would be much more valuable in six more years, and with those terms, I could afford to wait and just hold on to it. Five days after we opened the escrow, I was contacted by a real estate agent wanting to know whether I'd like to sell my position to him for a small profit. He had contacted the man that I was buying the land from and told that I had bought it. I told him no, and then he kept raising up his offer in small increments, raising it to the point where I was almost tempted. It had always been my policy, in my other lifetime, to not sell anything until I was sure that I knew why the buyer wanted it in the first place. A week later, I found out. A big developer was planning on putting in a whole planned community, complete with commercial and light industrial. It was an ambitious undertaking for that time period. After I saw some of their plans, I thought it was too ambitious. That agent had known of their land acquisitions, and was trying to come in and double escrow me, or maybe it was triple escrow because I already had mine open. Instead, I sold out my position on the escrow directly to the developer. My profit was a little more than one hundred six thousand dollars. Not too bad for something that I'd accidentally stumbled on to. I was also keeping up with my end of the bargain with the guardians, as far as contributing money to charities. I had gotten my guardian to look into charities that provided services and shelter for unwed mothers and abused women in the area. These were almost all privately run, either through religious sponsorship or from individuals who had opened up their homes to these girls and women. In some cases, I hired Ken to set up non profit corporations, so that my donations would be tax deductible to me. Paul Frenchak was the first charity that I had him do that for, and this saved me almost fifteen thousand dollars in taxes that I would have had to pay. When Connie graduated, I took her out for a celebration dinner and gave her my graduation gift to her. I had bought her a new little motor scooter to ride around on campus. It was cute, and I told her that I'd fly her and the scooter up to Palo Alto in August when she left to start her university career. She started learning how to ride it the next day, and she and I spent a lot of time together that summer, me on my Triumph, and her on her little scooter. She came to me in August and asked me to take her up to school two days early. She told me that she wanted to go early because she wanted to spend that extra time alone with me. I had told her earlier about the trip that Donna and I had taken up to San Francisco and Carmel. We left early, and, as soon as we got all of her belongings moved into her dormitory room, she and I disappeared for the next two days. It was an emotional time for both of us, and we did end up making love several times over those last two nights together. Connie told me that she had been planning to do that ever since March, wanting me to be the lover that she remembered before school began. I flew back home, happy for the time with her, and hoping that her time at Stanford would prove to be all that she had hoped and dreamed about. Her leaving left another small hole in my heart. She and I had promised to write each other one letter per week, no matter what. ------- Chapter 32 I slowed my activities down a little after I got back from taking Connie up to Stanford. I still spent part of every day out looking at properties, and Ken and I stayed in close contact, but I wasn't pushing it very hard at all. I was in a funny mood, wondering what to do with myself. I had decided not to go back to school in the Fall. It seemed pointless to me, when I could have my guardian enhance my knowledge on just about any subject that I wanted to know more about. I came into contact with different girls and women everyday, usually in the course of all the moving around that I did, but I didn't find anyone that got me very excited. My charisma enhancement was working, I knew that, because I got interested looks, and even had some girls approach me. I knew that, whatever was wrong, it was me, and that I was probably just in a little funk right then. I was doing very well financially, my parents and I were getting along well too. Tiny and Terri seemed to be doing well, and Tiny was really happy working at the boat dealership. He and my father were planning on going in together on a nice boat that Tiny had found for sale. It was a lot bigger than the old one, and they knew that they could go out further in the ocean with it. I didn't know why they would want to do that, but they did want to. Tiny and Terri still went rock fishing together, and she and Tiny had started going out square dancing, of all things. I hoped that they would stay together this time through, and thought the chances were a lot better now that they had things that they liked to do together. Tiny hadn't started putting on any weight either. I got a long letter from Connie, all of it filled with reports about her school, classes, and the people that she was meeting. From the tone of her letter, she was having herself a ball. She wrote funny little stories about her scooter, and told of how people ducked out of the way when they saw her riding the bike on campus. She said that her friend had taken some pictures of her on the bike and that she would send me some when they were developed. I read her letter several times. I wrote back, trying to be as upbeat as she was, telling her about my financial successes and how much fun it was to fly my own plane. I mentioned that I might be flying up to her area soon, and asked if she wanted me to stop by and take her out to eat or something. I had no other reason to go up there other than to see her, but that was plenty of reason, all by itself, as far as I was concerned. It was in the middle of September, and I was out riding my motorcycle on a late Friday morning, when I first met Diane. I was starting to get hungry, so I was heading North through Santa Ana, planning on going to this little sandwich shop that I knew over by Chapman College in Orange. I had first discovered it when I was driving around with Donna the year before. The sandwiches were good, the prices were low enough to be affordable for the college students that mostly frequented the place. The thing that I most liked about it though, was that you could go find a spot off to the side of the sandwich shop, and eat on the grass without anyone bothering you about it. That's exactly what I was doing, eating my turkey and swiss cheese sandwich, with tomatoes, avocado, and onions, when I saw a big commotion about fifty feet from where I was sitting. It was two girls, and one guy, and the girls were both yelling, at each other, and at the young man. He looked real unhappy, just standing there and getting it from both sides. After five minutes or so, it wound down and the two girls flounced off in opposite directions. The guy just stood there for a minute, after both girls had gone, and then he turned and started walking over to the college. Chapman college campus was just across the street from the sandwich shop. I finished eating my sandwich, and threw away my dirty napkins, and the wax paper wrapping that the sandwich had come in, and got back on my bike. I was still heading north when I passed one of the girls that had been yelling earlier. I recognized her yellow sweater, and her red hair. Normally, I would have just passed her by, but she was laying there on the sidewalk, rolled up into the fetal position, crying and wailing away just like she was in the privacy of her own bedroom. I pulled my bike to a stop, behind and just to the right of her. I had no idea at all about what I could do. She has several. She is pregnant, her boyfriend has just told her that he doesn't love her, and she just caught him with his other girlfriend, who she hadn't known about until ten minutes ago. She is despondent, and doesn't know what to do. I could for a short time, but to what purpose? It is bad. In addition to her social woes, she is having money problems and will be forced to withdraw from college because the check she wrote for tuition came back dishonored, due to non-sufficient funds in her account. The check that her parents sent to her to cover her expenses was, itself not good, for the same reason. Eight weeks. She will have the child in April, approximately the twentieth. It will be a girl. Her name was Diane Lowery, and she was nineteen years old, and from Salem, Oregon. She was just starting her sophomore year at Chapman, and had stayed down in Southern California for the summer, telling her parents that she was taking summer classes, but, in reality, living with her boyfriend, in his off campus apartment.She was a natural redhead, with the fair complexion and all the freckles that usually accompany red hair. She was about five seven, and had a slim build with nice legs and a good butt. On top she was small, probably about a 32A bra size. I had decided to help her. I was already helping five or six homes and shelters for unwed mothers in the area, and I figured that I might as well get involved on a more hand's on basis. She was cute, and I was attracted to her, as well as sympathetic to her plight. I turned off my bike and set the kick stand. "Miss, are you all right?" "Leave me alone. Please, I'll be all right. Just let me alone for now." "I can't just leave you lying there like this. Can you sit up?" She sat up, but kept her face turned away from mine. I think that she expected me to get back on my bike and ride off after she sat up. When I didn't, she looked over at me. "I'm sitting up, can't you leave now?" Her tone of voice was almost pleading with me. I could see that she was uncomfortable being seen like she was. A pretty girl like her would always be conscious of how she must look to other people. "I know that what I'm going to tell you will make you think that I'm crazy, but my guardian angel has asked me to stop here with you, and to help you with some of your problems." I was hoping to make her laugh, or else to shock her out of her worry about her own problems. Her reaction surprised me. "I prayed for something just like this to happen." And then, she got on her knees, put her hands together, just like a small child saying their prayers before getting into bed at night. I saw her lips moving as she prayed, I suppose giving thanks that her earlier prayer had been answered. When she was done praying, she made the sign of the cross, and then stood up. "Thank you for coming, where do we begin?" I was shocked now. I hadn't been around anyone before who would have shown that reaction to my outlandish and preposterous claim. She has a dorm room on campus, but she has been living with her boyfriend in his apartment. Most of her things are in his apartment. He is not there, you can go to his apartment if she wants to retrieve her belongings. Leonard Githens. "My guardian angel told me that Leonard isn't at his apartment right now, if you want to get any of your things that are there?" "He likes people to call him Leon, not Leonard. I guess I could do that, it's mostly just my clothes and some books. Can you help me carry it so that we can do it all in one trip?" "Sure, that's what I'm here for, to help you." I got back on my bike, and she started walking down the street in the direction she had been heading before she stopped for her cry. At the end of the block, she turned left. I thought it was odd that she didn't want me to give her a ride, but I was just happy to see her calmed down, so I followed her on the bike. We came to a small fourplex of apartments, and she let herself into the first one on the left. Again I parked the bike and went inside. She had left the door open when she went in. Calmly, she went through the small closet and took out some dresses and blouses. She got a small, brown suitcase out of the bottom of the closet and went to a chest of drawers and emptied out the bottom two drawers. Next, she went into the bathroom and started gathering up personal items like a tooth brush, tooth powder, and some things out of the medicine cabinet. She dropped everything into her suitcase and shut it. All of her personal items and clothes fit into that one small bag. We went out to the small living room, and from there, she went to a cabinet in the little kitchenette, and got one of those grocery bags, the ones that are made out of tight rope knots like a net. She carried the bag with her, and started sorting through a hundred books that were organized in a homemade book case along one wall. She packed ten or twelve books, checked through the rest of the titles, and then handed me the loaded bag. She turned, grabbed her suitcase, and then left the apartment, never having spoken a word to me the whole time that she was in there. When I came out behind her and shut the door, she was already walking back in the direction that we had come from. Thin or not, she wasn't having a bit of trouble carrying the suitcase. I got back on my bike, and was having just a little trouble riding and keeping that bag of books balanced at the same time. I followed after her. When we got to the college, I parked and hurried after her to her dorm. She told me that I wasn't allowed inside, took the bag of books from me and went in the building. In less than three minutes, she came back out. "Now what?" She asked it in a matter of fact way, like she was sure that I would have all of the answers figured out and in my head. "Where is your bank?" One thousand dollars. It's back there, in the circle." "Can you ride on the back of my bike?" "I'd rather not, I promised my parents that I wouldn't ride on a motorcycle. It's only a few blocks, can't we walk?" We walked down to the circle, and I went inside the bank with her. We went over to a teller and Diane explained that she had just found out that her college tuition check was sent back, unpaid, and she wanted to find out why. We were sent over to a desk where the manager came over with an unhappy look on his face, telling Diane that the thousand dollar check that she had deposited only the week before had been returned for non-sufficient funds. Because of that, they were unable to honor her check when the college presented it. Once again Diane started crying. "Diane, stop crying. Remember why I told you that I'm here." I had about twelve hundred dollars on me, money that I usually carried on me whenever I rode the bike, just in case I needed to use it as a good faith deposit to bind the deal on a property. I counted out one thousand dollars and asked the bank manager to deposit this in Diane's account. This brought out two smiles, one from Diane, and another from the banker. He took the money, and then hurried off to make the deposit. He came back with a receipt for the deposit and instruction for Diane to go to the college and request that they present the check again so that it could be honored. I thanked the bank manager, and then we left. When we got outside the bank, Diane thanked me, and then she prayed, thanking God, and my guardian angel who she believed He'd sent to help her. We walked back to the college campus. Diane was still looking sad. Her pregnancy. She doesn't know how to bring it up in conversation with you. She's sorry to be pregnant, but she's resigned to having the baby. Her religious beliefs do not allow for abortion. Her religion is important to her. No. She feels the changes in her body though. She has been sick in the morning every day for a week now. She missed her period this past month, and is due again, now. I am not authorized to do that for you or for her. I hear you, Jimmy. Your guardian is correct. He isn't authorized to do that for you. Are you certain that you wish to do that? The female hasn't requested that of you. I will do it. Have her somewhere near a bathroom before I do it. I led Diane back to her dorm building. "Diane go up to your room and lay down. Once you are laying down, close your eyes and ask God to show you his plan for you. Remember that God has a plan for everyone, and that he truly loves you." Without saying another word to me, she went inside her dorm building. I stayed there and waited. I was doing this without giving her a choice. I knew, given a choice, she would stick with her religious training. I was the one who had told her that I came on behalf of an angel. You don't tell an angel's messenger that you'd like an abortion. As long as she didn't ask for it, I doubted that she would feel guilty about it. If she did, I hoped that she would believe that it was all part of God's plan for her. I already regretted introducing religion into any of it. Jimmy, it is done. Are you ready to see the tape? Diane was laying down, praying. Her thoughts were coming fast, and were all jumbled together in a mixture of pleas, promises, confessions and grateful thanks. In the midst of all this, her period started. She got this look on her face, a look that no one could ever mistake for anything other than joy. Pure, absolute, utter, joy. She jumped up, her prayer now one of unadulterated gratitude and thanks, and ran out to the bathroom. There was a Kotex dispenser in the bathroom, and she grabbed one quickly and went into one of the stalls. You are welcome, Jimmy. Your actions today surprise me. I neither approve nor disapprove. I was remarking only on the fact that your actions were not the same as I would have anticipated from you. Are you planning on staying in contact with her, or are you going to disappear from her life? She is still hurt, and very upset by her boyfriend's remarks, and by his infidelity. She is vulnerable because he was such a large part of her social position. It would be difficult for her not to dwell on this, possibly even suffer emotionally to some high degree. Her normal support system is in total disarray at this time. Stay in contact until she is stronger. Yes. The guardians are grateful. Is there a request that you wish me to advocate on your behalf? Jimmy, don't even think about doing that. I was simply informing you of the criteria that I used to arrive at my decision. I meant no harm by it. Would you like him recalled for another? I will try to impart to that entity a need to be more playful with you. Let me know if it improves. Splendid, thank you. I am in a position where I can affect the assignments of many who helped to derail my career earlier. Even at this moment, I am attuned to one such guardian, watching as he oversees a world filled with a life form as developed as the sloth on yours. In one thousand of your years I shall issue an order to promote him to an assignment where the dominant life form is as intelligent as one of your chimpanzees. It wasn't just me, Jimmy. He voted to deny you any exceptions, and was against any of your requests. Indeed. Very well. I waited a minute for her to come back out the door of her dorm. "Oh, good, I was afraid you might have left. I never got a chance to thank you for everything. Do you have a name?" Do I have a name? What the hell did she think I was? "I am called Jimathrokockularus in this realm, but you can refer to me as Jimmy, if that is too hard for you to pronounce." "Are you an angel too?" "Not yet. I have three things left to accomplish before my wings can be granted." "Are you like an apprentice angel then?" "I suppose that you could say that, yes." "You look like one of us. I hope that doesn't offend you?" "They make me keep this form so that others don't recognize me for what I am." "I will pray every night for you to accomplish your tasks and for you to get to be an angel." "Thank you. If you just mention Jimmy, they'll know who you mean." "What is heaven like?" "Diane, I was just playing with you about being sent by a guardian angel, I'm just a regular person, the same as you. My name is Jimmy Gordon, and I just wanted to help you out." "But, what about the money, and knowing Leon's name, and that he wasn't in the apartment? And then you knew that other thing about me laying down and God showing me his plan?" "I have a little money, and I thought you could use some help. I saw Leon heading over to the campus, after you and that other girl walked away from him, so I knew that he wasn't at home You looked tired, so I thought you should lay down and relax. I figured that praying might help to calm you, and would put things into a better perspective for you." "So you weren't sent to me by an angel? You lied?" "Diane, suppose I'd told you the truth? Would you have let a total stranger give you a thousand dollars? I don't think so. I did lie to you, but it was only so that you'd let me help you with things." "I don't believe you. I think you're just trying to keep me from exposing who you are to other people. I wouldn't tell anyone though, I promise." Jimmy, it helps her right now to believe that you were sent to her. "Diane, you're half right, okay? But, I can't talk about it. Can't we just let it be that I saw that you needed help and that I helped you?" "I understand. Don't worry about me saying anything. I'll still pray for you though." "Diane, I'm going to run back to my home now. I want you to meet me right here in one hour. When I return, I'm going to take you somewhere and we can talk. Is that okay with you?" "Here, in an hour? Yes, I'll be here. What should I wear?" "Do you have a white choir robe?" "No, but I have a black one, with blue trim on the collar." "Really?" "Yes, I'm in the choir here at school. I'm a music major." "Well, wear that one if you're sure that you don't have a white one, and be sure to wear jeans and a top under it." "I'll be ready, and right here when you get back. Does it have anything to do with those three things that you still need to do?" As she said that, about the three things, she looked around and then whispered the question. I could barely understand her, it was spoken so quietly. "We'll talk about it when I get back. I'll see you in an hour." I went and got on my bike and rode home. I changed into a little nicer pair of pants, and took a quick whore's bath, and put on a nice shirt. I needed to grab some more cash, and then I was out the front door again. I'd been home no more than ten minutes. My dad was home for some reason, and he said hello to me when I walked into the house and good bye just as I was leaving. I liked the fact that he wasn't interfering with anything that I chose to do. The first voice had altered both of my parents so that they didn't pay that much attention to my lifestyle. It sure made things easier for me. In some ways, he had been very helpful to me. I even felt bad sometimes about terminating him like I had. I had gone with my best instinct though, and I couldn't very well take it back. Diane was waiting for me, dressed in a long black robe, when I walked over to her dorm building. I had to control myself or else I would have started laughing. I walked her over to my Cadillac and helped her in on the passenger side. "Is this your car?" "It's just a loaner, my chariot is in the shop. One of the wheels threw a spoke." "You're teasing me, aren't you?" "Yes, I am. I was teasing about the choir robe too. You can take it off and throw it in the back seat if you want to." "I didn't know that you were allowed to tease people." "Well, we are. Twice a month, we can even date. Of course, there's no fooling around though. You do have to draw the line somewhere." "That surprises me. In my mind I always thought that it was a lot different than that. Are they regular dates? I mean, could you go dancing or drinking if you wanted to?" "Only slow dances, and you can't dance too close. We can have two beers, but none of the strong stuff." "Have any of you ever, no, never mind, forget I asked." "You wondered if any of us ever went beyond our permitted indulgences?" "I just wondered, I didn't mean anything by it." "No, that's all right. It's a fair question. There have been instances when one of us has exceeded what was authorized. Like you, we have that part of us that they refer to as libido. It isn't as strong as it is in a regular person, but it's there. In fact, there have been scandals in the past." "That's comforting. I mean, knowing that it isn't only us down here than are susceptible to falling out of grace." "I'll say, I could tell you stories that would curl your toes. You've heard of Gabriel? The stories are true, except that wasn't a horn he was blowing. It was at a party, and there was way too much wine consumed. Someone had put on a medley of Barry Manilow's greatest hits..." "Who is Barry Manilow?" "I'm sorry, Barry Manilow isn't famous yet in this time period. I was just joking with you, Diane. I'm the farthest thing from an angel. I'm just a regular guy, that's all." "I don't believe you." I stopped the car and leaned over and kissed her on the lips. No tongue, but, still, a kiss. "Would an angel do that?" "If he were trying to throw someone off track, he might." I took my left hand off of the steering wheel and placed it right on her right breast and squeezed gently, but firmly. She suffered through that without even a backward movement away from my hand. "How about that? Does that feel like something that an angel would do?" "Again, if he wanted to mislead someone, it's possible." I started the car back up and drove the rest of the way to the restaurant I'd decided to take her to. It was fun to play around with her like this, but I didn't want to let it get too far out of hand. I already had a feeling that I might have let it go way too far. "What would it take to prove to you that I'm just a regular guy?" "I don't know. I imagine that you might be willing to go to great lengths to protect your secret. It really isn't necessary to do that with me. I believe what I have seen today was a miracle. It felt like a miracle, and I'd been praying for a miracle for a long time. Even this afternoon, when you sent me to my room and told me to pray for a sign. I did what you said, and almost immediately, I was given one, one that couldn't have possibly been just a coincidence. You are an angel, or at least an apprentice, who was sent to help me in my time of darkest need." That would require me to possess a personality, and I've recently been told that I don't have any. Flatulence might convince her that you weren't an angel. You can get her pregnant, that should do it. "Diane, let's go eat. While we're eating, I want you to think of something that would prove to you that I'm not an angel." ------- Chapter 33 Inside the restaurant, Diane and I both selected our food from the passing cart. I had decided on taking her to my favorite Chinese restaurant. This was another eating place that I had discovered while out driving around with Donna. I enjoyed having a wide variety of different items in fairly small portions, and this restaurant only served dim sum, from lunch time, when they opened, until they closed down at eight o'clock each night. The restaurant employees wheeled the carts around, and you could select anything there that you wanted. That was unusual, in fact I knew of no other Chinese restaurant in the area that even had dim sum. Each little tray of food was twenty cents, and they came by at the end of your meal and counted up the empty trays to figure out your bill. Diane had never enjoyed dim sum, and she had a healthy appetite, especially healthy if you considered how slim her build was. "So, are you thinking about what I need to do in order to show you that I'm not an angel?" "No, because I already told you that you're liable to do almost anything, just to try to throw me off the truth, and make me believe that you aren't." "I guess there isn't any way for me to convince you then, not if you're so bound and determined to believe that I am an angel. Promise me that you won't try to do anything to prove to yourself that I really am an angel though, like putting yourself in danger in order to see if I can rescue you, because I can't." "I wouldn't expect you to be able to perform rescues. For those, I rely on Superman." She actually had a twinkle in her eyes after she said that. It was almost the first sign of a sense of humor that I'd seen from her. I always preferred being around people with a sense of humor. "Is there anything else that you need me to do for you Diane? My job isn't finished until I get you back to being happy again." "What about Leon? Can you do something about him? It doesn't seem fair that he can get through all of this without suffering in any way. How could he be like that? I wonder if he even loved me at all before he met that other girl. That's what he told me today, that he was sorry, but he didn't love me any more. To make it even worse, when he told me that, both of us thought that I was pregnant." "What would you like done to him?" "I don't know. Do you want to hear something really pathetic? I think I'm still in love with him. Even after today. I think it was because both of us thought that I was pregnant. He wasn't ready for that, for taking that kind of responsibility right away, That's probably why he started up with that girl. I could forgive him if that's all it was. If only he was lying about it when he said he didn't love me. Could you find out whether he meant it, or if he just said that because he was afraid? If I knew that he really did love me, I'd forgive him." He is twenty four years old, and employed at the college as a teaching assistant. It is a position created and filled as part of his post graduate studies. He makes a habit of always having one or two undergraduate females as sexual companions, or even as domestic partners. He is also married, although he and his wife have been separated for three years. He has a three year old son from that marriage. He is also the father, out of wedlock, of two other children, another son and a daughter. While he is fond of Diane, he doesn't love any woman. He currently has no intention of reconciling with her. I'm not authorized to do that. I will get in trouble with my superiors if I take it upon myself to violate policy like that. Yes, but only within policy. I don't have the authorization to do that. Yes, Jimmy, I'm here. Jimmy, I can assist you in many instances where your assigned guardian cannot. Do you wish me to implement your instructions? Jimmy, what if he decides to commit suicide rather than continue living his life impotent? Did you really want me to replace your current guardian? I will have another discussion with him, and open up his discretionary permissions where it is possible. Your guardian is something of a protege of mine. It would not reflect well on me if it becomes necessary to recall him. I shall. "Diane, I'm afraid that Leon doesn't love you. Don't feel too bad though, he doesn't love any of the others either, not even his own wife." "Leon isn't married. I lived with him for five months, I'd know if he was married or not." "Separated, with a three year old son. He has two other kids too, from two different girls, both of whom were students just like you are. He isn't worth you feeling bad over." "If this is true, then that just proves that you're an angel. How else could you know that?" "I know Leonard. He likes to brag, and he only likes to be called Leon by his girlfriends." "You know him? I don't believe that. Where do you know him from?" For the next ten minutes, Diane asked me questions about Leon, and I answered all of them, with my guardian feeding me the correct information. At the end of it, she was satisfied that I did know him. She still had doubts about what I'd told her about Leon's not loving her, and about him being married, and the father of three children. People believe what they want to. When she stopped questioning me about him, she started right in telling me about all of his good qualities, not the least of which being his lovemaking abilities. If she were to be even partially believed, old Leon was a pretty impressive performer in the sack. I finally had to stop her because it was making me angry, and a little envious too. I guess it's true, that women will put up with a lot, especially if the guy can deliver the goods in the bedroom. One of the things that I always found interesting about all women, in both of my lifetime's, was the way they would talk about some things so openly, and yet, be so secretive about others. For instance, Diane wasn't shy at all about discussing her past sexual history, naming names, and even critiquing her past lovers, but she absolutely refused to disclose her weight to me, or later in our relationship, to use the toilet if I was anywhere nearby. I never once heard her fart, not even while she slept. We finished up with our meal, and with our very long conversation. In the past three hours and a half, Diane had brought me up to date on her life, from about the age of three, right up until the present. For a nineteen year old, and a supposedly very religious Catholic girl from rural Oregon, she had a pretty active and varied past sexual history. It was her contention that her somewhat promiscuous tendencies were quite in keeping with her strongly held religious beliefs. She went to confession every week, and always performed the penance that the priest gave to her. She really believed that everything was okay just as long as she was sincerely contrite over having sinned each time. She said that, after every confession, she prayed to have the strength to resist temptation. She hadn't found that strength yet, but, she was still hoping. I doubted how sincere she was about that part of it. It was almost like it was a game to her, this sinning, then confessing, doing the penance, and being forgiven. It seemed to me like she believed that she had found some loophole that allowed her to play the religious game, and yet, still get maximum sexual enjoyment out of her life. After listening to her talk, I was struck by the fact that she would get along well with Ken, especially when it came their mutual interest in searching for, and finding, loopholes. I just knew that Ken would appreciate and admire her tiny breasts as well. I drove her back to her dorm at about nine that night. On the ride back, she started peppering me with questions about my sex life. She wanted to know if I'd ever had sex before becoming an apprentice angel, and asked me if I missed it now. "I don't know what to tell you, Diane. I've tried to explain to you that I'm only a man. I'm not an angel, not an apprentice angel, or anything in between those two. Hell, I'm not even religious, and never have been. I've had sex before, lots of times. I haven't had as much as you have, but then, it's easier for a girl than it is for a guy." "Do you think I'm bad? I thought only God was supposed to judge us?" "I never said you were bad, just experienced. I'm certainly not judging you." "Well, it sounded to me like you were. It wasn't really that many if you break it down over the six years that I've been dating boys. It isn't like other girls haven't dated as much as I did. I have a warm and giving nature. My parents always told me that. It's true too. A lot of those boys had never been with a girl before. In a way, I just helped them out with their confidence. It wasn't even like I did it with every boy that I went out with. Twenty three isn't so many, not over six years it isn't. It's less than one every three months. Leon's the only one I've slept with in a year, well except for Tom Taylor and Freddie Bellamy, when I went home last Christmas vacation. But they don't really count, because I did it with both of them back in high school too." "You're right, I didn't think of it like that. One every three months, that's about what I'm running too. I apologize to you, I was way out of line." "That's okay. I know why you said that. You were trying to make me believe that you aren't an angel. It isn't going to work. Even if you screwed me, I'd still believe you were an angel." "Who said anything about screwing you?" "I said if. I didn't mean that that's what you were intending, only that, if you did, I wouldn't stop believing in what you are." "That's another thing, how come you say screw and screwing? Isn't that a coarse way for a girl to be expressing herself?" "Not as coarse as saying fucking, which is a word that a lot of people use. I just refuse to use some of the other cute little words or phrases that try to sugar coat it. I'm not a hypocrite. What do angels call it?" "I wouldn't know, being as how I'm not an angel, and I don't even believe that angels exist." "They exist. You're not the first angel that ever came to me. I've dreamed of angels ever since I was a little girl. I used to believe that I was going to be another Joan of Ark when I was little. My other angels had wings though, and were dressed all in white. They were a lot younger than you too, and you couldn't tell whether they were girls or boys." "Are you sure they weren't cherubs?" "Aha! See, I tricked you into admitting that you knew about angels. I just wish that you would trust me more. I really want to help you." "You didn't trick me. I remembered cherub's from an art class that I took in high school. Besides, if I really was an angel, I could easily make you believe that I wasn't one. The fact that you don't believe that I'm not, just proves that I'm not." "The fact that you keep trying to convince me that you aren't, just proves that you are, then. If you really weren't, you wouldn't care if I thought that you were." She doesn't believe that you are. No, I didn't do anything. She hasn't believed that you were ever since you kissed her, and touched her breast. Because she's having fun with you. It amuses her to have you keep trying to convince her that you aren't an angel. Would you like me to make her stop being amused by that? We arrived back at the college, and I parked the car out on the side street nearest her dorm, then walked her to her door. When we got to her building she turned around so that she was facing me. "Thank you for the dinner, and for listening to me tell you all of my troubles, and about my shady history." "You're welcome. I enjoyed listening to it. In fact, it's made me really randy, listening to all of your past exploits. I'm probably going to get myself in trouble tonight, thinking about what you told me." "That's one of the reasons why I told you all that. I've always been curious about what angels can and can't do. Do angels ever masturbate?" "I can't speak for all angels, and I'm not admitting that I am one, but I do." "Really? I don't believe you." "No, I do. And, tonight I will." "If you did, and I knew that you did, I'd stop believing that you were an angel." "Would you like to go back to my car with me, and I'll prove it to you?" "No, because if I went there with you and you did do it, then I'd just be another girl sitting in a car watching an ordinary guy playing with himself. I think I'd prefer to keep my illusions." "Yes, I can see that. Of course, you've never heard about the side effects of watching a real angel, or an angel's apprentice, jack off. It was the earliest source of all those rumors about leprechaun's and the pot of gold thing. Originally it was the reward that a young girl got if she caught an angel jacking off. The passage of time, and the cleaning up of the story through the ages, has made it into an Irish fable." "Oh, there's a reward then?" "Certainly. If you chance to catch an angel doing that, you get to make one wish to change something about your physical appearance. For instance, if it was you that caught me, you might ask to have your freckles disappear, or something like that." "But I like having freckles. If you have red hair, people expect it. If I didn't have them, people would think that I was dyeing my hair." "Well, what would you wish for?" "I've always wished that I was bigger on top. Not real big, but a little bit bigger. Instead of two fried eggs, I'd wish for maybe a pair of lemons." "I'm fresh out of lemons, how about two very small oranges instead?" "I could take that. But, what happens if I see you masturbate, and you're not really an angel?" "Then you'd get cum all over that pretty choir robe for nothing." "But, I'm not even wearing it now." "I'd insist that you put it back on, it would be an integral part of my fantasy about you." "I have to go in now. I wish you well with your fantasy. Just pretend that I'm there watching you in my choir gown." "All right, but it won't be the same. You just pretend that you watched me, and then pretend that I really am an angel, and that it did grow your boobs bigger." ------- Chapter 34 Driving back home that night, I really found it difficult to get Diane out of my mind. For the first time since Connie, I had found a girl I really felt attracted to. With Connie, it wasn't so much a physical attraction for her as it was another quality, which I had taken to labeling charisma. With Diane, it was a strong physical attraction, plus the fact I liked her flamboyant and exuberant approach to life. How many girls would have been willing to make the kind of public spectacle of themselves she had? The confrontation with Leon and the other girl, and then the public display of herself she later made, collapsing on the sidewalk like that, and then crying so intensely. Even her sitting in the restaurant, blithely telling me all about her past sexual history had convinced me she was someone who wasn't afraid to embrace life fully. I wanted to be around her, to draw on some of her life force, for my own benefit. She had enough zest to release me from the funk I had fallen into. It is artificial, produced by that entity in order to attract and entice you to her. Do you wish me to remove the attraction? I merely asked a question of you. I wasn't anticipating. Why is it nothing I do ever meets with your approval? Would you like to see? The guardian played me the tape, and I could see Diane sprawled across her bed, once more crying her heart out, as she thought about Leon, and regretting that her love for him had been real. It was a time of real sadness for her, and I felt bad about intruding on it. I believe he's currently involved in making the discovery now. It was the same guy I'd earlier seen with Diane and the other young girl. He was sitting in a booth with another, older woman. They were sitting side by side, and he was trying to explain to her why her hand on his crotch wasn't getting him aroused. It was fun for me, watching and listening to his words, as well as seeing his real concern and distress. The guardian told me the woman with him was his faculty adviser, and they had been involved in an affair for the past year. I got him to play me the tape from her perspective, and got the distinct impression this impotence was not going to do his academic future any good at all. I am not... No, I'll do it! I switched back and forth between the two of them, watching and listening as he made excuses for his lack of arousal. I was watching him when he first started feeling the acute and sudden discomfort in his bowels. I watched him as he stood up and ran off, in a desperate attempt to try to make it to the bathroom, panicked about the possibility of utterly disgracing himself. It was all to no avail though, he didn't make it even halfway there before he let loose. My guardian had even improvised, making Leon give off three loud and distinct farts right before he flooded his briefs with a huge mass of nearly liquid shit. I could even smell it, so I made the guardian switch both of the tapes off. I really wanted Leon to pay a price for how he had treated Diane. This, had been only the beginning. The next day, Saturday, I drove back to Orange. I waited at the door until a girl walked into the dorm building. I asked her to go up to Diane's room to tell her she had a visitor. When she came down and saw me, she looked disappointed. The guardian told me she was hoping it would be Leon, coming to explain and apologize, and to ask her to come back home with him. "I've come to get you to take you closer to heaven." "Only closer?" "Yes, I can only take you the first mile, the rest of the trip you have to make on your own." "Do I need my choir robe again?" "Only if you want the chance to turn your boobs into small oranges." "Did you think of me last night?" "No, actually, I was thinking about poor Leon last night. I heard he was out with his faculty adviser and got an instant case of Montezuma's Revenge. He made a public spectacle of himself, letting go right in the middle of the restaurant. You didn't pray for this to happen to him, did you?" "That didn't really happen." "I'm afraid it did. It's the gossip all over campus, ask anyone." "Poor Leon. He always had a nervous stomach. I hope he's okay now." "Diane, the guy doesn't deserve any of your concern. His faculty adviser is a woman in her forties, and he's been sleeping with her for the past year. How do you think he even got his graduate teaching assignment? She set it up for him in order to keep him around for her to continue screwing him." "I don't believe it, and I don't believe any of the things you've said about him." "Fine, let's just go over there and have him tell you himself." "I don't need you there when I see him. I'm not ready to see him yet, anyway. Are we going somewhere or not?" "Yes, you going to get that robe or not?" "No." "Suit yourself then. I kind of like your boobs just the way they are." She got in my Caddy, but she kept herself pinned over by the door, and she didn't speak to me at all. I drove us over to the flight school where I kept my plane tied down. I managed to coax her into the plane, and told her not to touch anything while I went about the task of going through my preflight checks. I started the engine, and let it warm up. By the time we were airborne, she was starting to cool off about my earlier comments. I let her take over the yoke and control the plane for a few minutes, this really got her excited. By the time we landed, she was once again in a good mood. I told her it was my own plane, and I could fly it whenever I felt like it. We went over to the Mexican restaurant Connie had gotten me hooked on over in Stanton. Again I was impressed with how much Diane could eat. "My guardian angel read your mind, and he said you don't really believe that I'm an angel, and you're just playing along with it trying to see what I'll do next. Is he right?" "Does your guardian angel lie to you?" "No." "Then it must be true." "You know this means I'll have to take retribution on you?" "What kind?" "I was thinking about shrinking your breasts." She laughed. "What's there to shrink? The only way you could make them smaller would be to invert my nipples." "Maybe this is what I'll do then. You have to learn you trifle with an assistant angel at your own peril." "I think I'll risk it." Yes, but it is against policy to do so. I suppose I could do it, as long as it was only for a short period of time. Whenever you're ready. "If I did decide to invert your nipples, Diane, do you think you could accept this without going crazy and making a big scene here? I like this restaurant, I wouldn't want to be eighty-sixed out of here, and not be allowed to come back." "If you're going to do something to prove your powers, I'd much rather have the small oranges than the inverted nipples." "But I'm punishing you, not giving you a reward." "If you can do one, you can do the other. I'd prefer to grow them, not shrink them. You grow them for me, and I'll do whatever you want as a reward." "Well, we have a slight problem there. My guardian angel will let me invert your nipples for a minute, and no longer, just as a demonstration. I'm not sure he'd let me grow your boobs. If he did, It would have to be for a minute only, and it would have to be for a good reward." "A minute? What good is one minute? No one would even know about it but you and I. I'd need longer." She wants to have intercourse with you. She thinks you plan some type of hypnosis on her, to make her believe her nipples are inverted. She has been to see a hypnotism act, in a carnival, back home in Oregon." While you were flying your plane. "Diane, do you remember I told you to bring your choir gown if you wanted a chance at getting bigger boobs?" "I was mad at you at the time. If I had my choir robe, would you grow my boobs?" "I might, but only after you earned the reward." "Would it be permanent?" "No, this part of the legend is true. Just like the leprechaun's gold will turn to lead before other people can see it, the boobs revert to how they were, before anyone else can see them. You could see how they look and feel though." "I've been stuffing tissue in my bra's and looking in the mirror since I was thirteen years old, I know how they'd look. It might be interesting to feel them and play with them though. Sure, I'd watch you jack off, if you'd grow my boobs." "No robe, no deal." "If I went and got the robe, it would just be something else. You're just teasing." Under protest, but I shall comply. The look on Diane's face was worth all of the fussing I was going to have to do later with my reluctant guardian. The front of her blouse flared out, popping two buttons in the process, and her bra wasn't able to contain her sudden growth. The metal eyelets holding it in back gave away, and the bra snapped open to make room. Diane gasped, and then looked down, shocked and unable to believe what had happened to her. By the time she thought to reach up and touch them, they had disappeared again. If it hadn't been for her broken bra strap, and the two popped buttons, I doubt she would have believed it. Hypnosis couldn't explain the broken bra, or the suddenly missing buttons. "How did you do it?" "Do what?" "You know what. Look at my blouse and my bra. You made my boobs grow. You really are an angel." "I'm not an angel. I do have certain resources I can call on to assist me with things. You might want to be careful about what you ask me for. You also might want to believe me when I tell you things you don't want to hear or believe. Everything I told you about Leon is true. If you accept it and decide to move on with your life, you'll be better off because of it." "If you really aren't an angel, are you Lucifer, the fallen angel?" "I'm not the devil either. I'm just a regular guy who has some help to be able to do things. It's too complicated for me to explain it to you. How did you like having those big titties?" "Can you do it again? I was so surprised I didn't really get to examine anything. They sure seemed big, and heavy too. I didn't know they'd be so heavy. Can you do it again for a minute? I'll be expecting it this time, and it will give me the chance to really see what it's like." I watched Diane closely for the next fifteen seconds as she lifted, rubbed pinched and pawed at her new, fairly large boobs. She had a look of complete wonderment and fascination on her face. It gave me pleasure to see the enjoyment that she was having. When the tits disappeared again, I was almost as disappointed as Diane. "Do it again, please. I'll let you feel them this time." "Sorry, no more. Don't forget you owe me a reward." "If I give you your reward, can you put them back again? I'd like to stand in front of a mirror without any clothes and look at myself with large breasts." "Maybe when I know you better, and if we're all alone." "You know what I'd like? To go up in your plane again and have those big boobs just hanging out in front of me." ------- Chapter 35 We left the restaurant right after Diane gave up asking me for a repeat demonstration. She was quiet as we drove back over to the campus. It was still only about nine o'clock when I parked my car and started to get out so I could walk with Diane over to her dorm. Before I could help her, she opened her own door and hopped out. "I'll be back in a minute, don't you leave." She took off then, heading towards her dorm room. Three minutes later, she came back into view, carrying her choir robe in her hands. She opened the passenger side again, and got back in the car, after first putting her robe on. She sat back down in the seat, turning to face towards me with one leg up on the seat. "I'm ready." I looked at her. Twenty four hours before, she was on her bed, bawling her eyes out over her lost love, and now she was here, ready to watch me jack off while she wore her choir gown. This girl was special. Resilience like hers needed to be appreciated. This girl had an abundance of spunk. I admired her for it. "What are you doing?" "What do you mean?" "Why did you go get that robe?" "For your reward. Isn't this what you said? You said you wanted to masturbate in the car with me sitting there watching you, and you wanted me wearing my choir robe." "Why would I want to do it now?" "Isn't this what you told me you wanted?" "When I said that, it was only so I could prove to you I'm not really an angel. I know now you don't really think I'm an angel. It wouldn't be much of a reward now anyway." "Why not?" "Well, for one thing, I'm not really in the mood. For another, you don't really want to see me doing it. Mostly though, it's the fact I'm a little too old to be sitting in a car, getting myself off. It's not very dignified." "All right. I just thought it was part of the deal. If you don't want to, I'll just go in the dorm." "Good night, Diane. I enjoyed being with you today. I hope you enjoyed yourself too." "I did. Will I be seeing you again?" "I don't know. I like you, but you seem to still be in love with Leon. Perhaps I should let you have some time to get over him before I start taking you out." "Is that what you are planning on? You are going to start taking me out?" "I was hoping to." "I'd like to go back flying again. How will you know when I'm over Leon?" "You'll call me and tell me you are." I had written my phone number on the back of an empty envelope, I handed it to her. "Good night Diane." "Good night, Jimmy." It was the first time she'd ever called me by my name. To me, it was a sign of her recognition of me as just another person. When I got home, I had my guardian show me a tape of what she was doing. I wanted to find out if she crying again, or, if she was doing better. She was brushing out her hair, and remembering different things about the time we'd spent together that day. While I watched, she started running her fingers lightly over the tops of her pj's, while she remembered how it had felt to have bigger breasts. Once again, it startled her, but she soon smiled and stood up, taking her top off. She was heading out of her room, to go look in the mirror in the dorm bathroom. As soon as she opened her door, the breasts were shrunk back to her normal size. She closed the door, and they returned once more. Once again, she opened up her door, and once again, her breasts disappeared. She shut the door and turned her light off. She got into bed and spent the next few minutes exploring her new endowments. She began to think about Leon, picturing the two of them making love together, her new breasts on prominent display. Apparently, her tiny breasts had been something of an impediment in their relationship. Leon preferred girls to have bigger breasts, and had never taken the trouble to keep this preference from Diane. When it became obvious to me that Diane was in the process of working herself up to an orgasm, I had my guardian stop running the tape. It was another two weeks before I heard from Diane. In the meantime, I'd been checking in on her by watching tapes several times each day. She and Leon had one short conversation together, instigated by Diane, and taking place outside the classroom where Leon was a teaching assistant. It hadn't gone well for either of them, ending only after Diane was through screaming at him, and with her once again in tears. Her very public histrionics had made Leon extremely uncomfortable, but he was unable to leave due to his being assigned to oversee that classroom. As soon as she had fled the area, I had the guardian cause Leon to be visited again with the shits. I allowed him to make it to the restroom this time, but just barely. I instructed the guardian to let him get back to the classroom before giving him another bowel attack. I kept that up for the next hour or more, always letting him barely make it in time. I might have kept going, if the guardian hadn't warned me that Leon was becoming seriously dehydrated. In the meantime, while I waited to see if Diane would contact me, I received another very enthusiastic letter from Connie. She told me that if I came anywhere near the Bay Area and didn't stop off to see her, she would be devastated. I wrote her back, telling her I'd be flying up on Friday, October 17th, and I'd give her a call after I was finished with my business. I told her I could stay over for the whole weekend before returning home on Monday. It would be good to spend some time with Connie again. My mother answered the telephone when Diane called. It was a Saturday, at about nine in the morning. I was outside washing my car when she called. When my mom opened the door and called me to the telephone, I thought it was Ken, because I had been expecting him to phone me. He was working on another partnership idea he had come up with, and he had run into a little snag he was trying to find a workaround for. Ken was always good at coming up with new ideas to reduce or eliminate tax liability on investment income. Since it was the only kind of income I had, I liked to help sponsor his research. As interested as I was in what Ken was doing, I was happier to find out it was Diane calling me. "Jimmy, this is Diane Lowery, from Chapman college?" "I remember Diane. It's good to hear from you. I was hoping you'd call. Are you ready to go flying again?" "Yes. I'm over Leon. I found out you were right about him all along. When can we go flying?" "I'm washing my car right now. If you want to go up this morning, I can be over to pick you up in about two hours." "How should I dress? Should I bring my my Choir robe?" "I'm going to be wearing jeans and a short sleeved shirt. You should wear something comfortable, and maybe a bra a few sizes too big for you. When we get in the air, I'll fill it for you." "I was going to ask you about whether you were going to do it again or not. I don't have any big bras. I'll just take my bra off so it doesn't get all broken like the last time. Could you make them even bigger this time?" "I don't know whether it's a good idea to make them much bigger than the last time. You wouldn't want to be top heavy." "I wouldn't most of the time, but when you've spent your whole life poor, you want to see what being really rich feels like." "Well, if you're sure, we'll give it a try. It will only be for a short time though." I went out, after getting off the phone, and finished up with the car. When I got back inside, I phoned Ken and told him I was going to be gone for most of the weekend, and asked him if he needed anything before I left. He told me that he'd be in his apartment working on his problem all weekend, and would call me on Monday to give me a progress report. I went in to take a shower and get ready for my date. In the shower, I started thinking of what Diane had said about wanting bigger tits this time. I naturally started reviewing tits in my mind, and, almost before I knew it, my thoughts turned to Carolyn. I remembered her tits, which were the most magnificent ones I'd ever seen. Yes. I picked up Diane. She had been waiting near the street when I pulled up, and came right over and got in my car. She was wearing a dark green sweater that showed her hair color and fair skin off to good advantage. She had on some jeans and penny loafers too. The sweater was very loose on her. I was happy to see her again. When she didn't call me for so long, I had started thinking she might not ever call me. She was smiling at me after she got herself settled in the car. "Hi, Jimmy." "Hi, Diane. You look nice. Shall we stop and eat something first, or do you want to go flying first and then we'll eat later?" "I'm hungry, but whatever you want is okay with me." "I'm hungry too, let's go pick up a couple sandwiches and soft drinks at the sandwich place, and we can take them and eat while I'm doing my preflight checks." She nodded her assent to me, so we did it. It took me some time to get up in the air because I wanted to top off my fuel. It held about forty five gallons, and I wanted to make sure we would have plenty of time in the air. I was planning on flying up towards Victorville because I had some ideas about investing in the area because prices were so low, and I could pick up some larger parcels relatively cheaply. We finally were ready to get airborne, and I took us up. Diane kept looking over at me as I piloted the plane, heading North towards the mountains. Finally, she couldn't hold out any longer. "Aren't you going to do it?" "I'm doing it. Do you want to fly it for awhile?" "Are you just going to tease me then? That's okay. I'm not going to beg you to do it." "Go ahead and grab the yoke, I'll handle the foot pedals. Have you got it?" She reached out and took the yoke. I kept my hands on mine until she got the feel for it, and then I let go. "That's it, not too much, try to keep it level. Good job." Suddenly, Diane's sweater filled up. She jerked the yolk back, and I took over to make certain we didn't stall. As soon as she saw that I had taken over she released the yoke and started admiring her new attributes. She pulled the bottom of her sweater up to get a good look, and then took it right off when it bunched up in a way that prevented her view. She had no bra on underneath. When I saw those breasts, I knew immediately they were too much for Diane. What had looked so good on Carolyn looked somewhat grotesque on Diane's much thinner frame. Her shoulders weren't anywhere near wide enough to support breasts of Carolyn's size. These newly reduced breasts looked great on her, and the guardian had kept them sticking straight out the same way Carolyn's had been. They matched Diane's body perfectly now. After a minute, I was unable to see clearly because looking at them had caused me to think of Carolyn again. I was crying when I turned my head away. Not a good idea I thought, not good at all. It took me only a short time to regain control and to stop crying. Diane had noticed me turn away, and she could see my tears. She asked me if I wanted her to cover up. "No, don't do that. Those look great on you. It's just that you reminded me of someone when I first saw them. I'm fine now. How do you like those beauties?" "I love these, but those other ones were too big. They might fit Kate Smith though." "Actually, they fit a girl who wasn't even as tall as you are. She had a bigger body type than you do, and had much wider shoulders too. They were just absolutely perfect on her body. I was just remembering how they looked on her for a minute." "I love the shape of these, and the way they stick out like they do. These are very pretty, much nicer than those other ones that you let me try. Would you like to feel them? I don't mind. I'd kind of like to see what it's like to be felt up with big ones like these." I reached out a hand and started playing with them. They felt like regular tits to me, not like Carolyn's at all. There was a little bit of familiarity, due to the shape, but it didn't seem like I was feeling Carolyn's breasts. I had been worried about whether it might feel like hers. It was a few minutes before I quit playing with them. "How come you stopped? It felt nice. You have soft hands." Her regular breasts were really small, not an A cup like I'd thought before. Perhaps more like the fried egg yolks, she had earlier described them as. When they were changed back again, I noticed that she immediately became self conscious, and reached for her sweater. "Don't cover them. I want to play with these too." I reached over to touch them, but she had covered them with her hands before I got to them. "Come on, I get to play with these too. It's only fair." She slowly moved her hands away, and I spent time playing with her slightly raised and puffy areolas and nipples. She had about walnut sized breasts, certainly not any bigger. As I toyed with them, she began to relax, seeming to enjoy my touch at least as much as she had earlier, when I had handled the bigger ones. "Disappointing, aren't they?" "In what way?" "Being so small. I've seen eleven year olds with more chest development than me." "I think they are very nice. Haven't you heard that good things sometimes come in small packages? When you're forty, you'll be glad that you don't have big ones, believe me." "You wouldn't think so if you were a girl. Suppose you had a small penis? It's similar for girls with nothing on top." "Who said I didn't have a small one? My whole family is noted for having dicks on the small side. Everyone except for my Uncle Frank. He has a full four inches just like everybody else." "I hate to tell you this, Jimmy, but four inches is pretty small too." "Really? We all thought it was huge. Mine is three inches, and only just barely, and that's when it's really hard. Are you sure that four isn't the normal size?" "I'm pretty sure it's more like six inches, Jimmy. Sorry." "You're kidding me, right? "I've seen some even longer." "Well, of course longer. I was talking about width." It took her a minute, but she finally started laughing. "You wish. I'll just bet you weren't talking about width." "What would you like to bet?" The entire time we'd been talking about this, I'd been massaging her breasts. I could see, by her facial expression, and by the way her nipples stood out, she was enjoying my attention to them. I continued to play with them, running my thumb lightly over the raised bumps on her areolas, and, occasionally, flicking her erect nipples. I could have done more, but I was also trying to keep the plane aloft too. I stopped playing with her, and concentrated on looking out at the landscape below. We had passed the summit, and were quickly coming up on Victorville and Apple Valley. There were several areas I wanted to take a closer look at. We flew over two areas of particular interest to me three times before I was satisfied that I had seen enough. We had just come around, heading back towards Santa Ana, when my engine started making a coughing, sputtering, choking noise that didn't sound good at all. Your fuel line is clogged with impurities. No, but if you can land, I can direct you to the problem and advise you about how to correct it. I had already started a descent towards what appeared to be a paved road, two miles south of, and a mile or so east of, the town of Victorville. My adrenaline had really kicked at the prospect of losing the engine and having to make an unpowered landing, but as we neared the road, I started becoming calm again. Actually, the landing was pretty routine, and the engine never did die out on me. After we had landed and stopped, I turned the plane around, so we were facing back the same way we had come in, before turning the engine off. Following the instructions of the guardian, I detached the fuel feed hose going from my fuel pump and spent the next ten minutes blowing into it as hard as I could. Diane must have thought I was crazy, until, with one last deep breath, I managed to clear the line. What came out of the hose was some kind of dirty sludge. Not oil or gas, more like thin mud. After it came out, blowing through the hose became quite easy. I re-attached and clamped the hose, and got back in my plane. The engine started back up, and was now running as smooth as silk. I felt great relief. This was my first small crisis as a pilot, and I was glad it seemed to have turned out all right. I made a note to have my entire fuel system checked after we got back, to find out where those impurities had come from. We took off again without trouble, and I flew straight back to Santa Ana. I tied the plane down and went into the flight service office to see about getting the plane looked at right away. The mechanic wasn't around, but I did tell one of the other staff about my problem and she wrote it all down, and told me that she would give it to Tom Foley, when he returned later that afternoon. He would make sure the work got assigned to someone and promptly taken care of. Diane hadn't once asked a question, not even while she watched me blowing on one end of the fuel hose. I had stopped off at the bathroom in the flight service company and washed my face and rinsed my mouth out. I could still taste the slight taste of fuel, and I had a headache, either from smelling the fuel or from blowing so hard to clear the hose.We were back in the Cadillac, driving towards Orange before she said anything about it. I could tell as soon as she started talking that she was really shaken up by the stuttering engine, as well as by our unscheduled landing. "Diane, it wasn't as bad as it might have looked to you. I practiced for an event like that while I was learning how to fly. Getting down was actually pretty routine. The only question I had in my mind was whether we were going to have to walk out or if we could fix it and then fly out." "I wasn't sure, and you didn't really tell me anything. You looked very concerned and worried while it was all happening." "That was only because I was worried you were going to call my bluff about the size of my dick. I was never worried about the plane, or about us crashing." "I had forgotten about it in all of the excitement. Now that we're safely back on the ground, I wouldn't mind finding out whether you meant length or width." "Can we go to dinner first? I hate being laughed at while I'm hungry." "You didn't laugh at me, I wouldn't laugh at you. If you're telling the truth though, I might run away." "We better pick a restaurant in Orange then, I don't want you to have to run too far." Over dinner, which was at a diner in Santa Ana, we bantered back and forth about the ground rules for the bet, and for my showing Mr. Wonderful to her. First, we both had to agree on what constituted three inches. She chose a salt shaker from the table and claimed that it was about three inches tall, I tried to get her to accept that three inches was approximately the length of my pinky finger, which I knew to be closer to two inches, and not too much more than Mr. Wonderful's enhanced width. After examining my pinky closely, she agreed she would accept that as three inches, but only because it represented more than she hoped to see. Finally, we had to pick the prize and the forfeit for the winner and the loser. "If you win, Diane, I'll have to be your slave for three hours, doing whatever you ask me to do. As long as it isn't dangerous or illegal. If I win, you have to go to a motel room with me, and let me ravish your body for three hours." "No, if I win, we go to the motel and I ravish your body for three hours. If you win, we shake hands, and you have to stay away from me forever." "I've never hurt anybody seriously with it. Of course, you'll always walk differently afterwards, and you'll need to sit on a soft cushion for a month." "I'm starting to worry, Jimmy. With all of this build up, the grand unveiling almost has to be a big disappointment. Pay the check and let's just go somewhere." I drove over to Anaheim and rented a room at a motel that I'd used before, when I was going out with Donna. The rooms weren't fancy, but they were clean and private. By the time we got inside the room, we had already been kissing for five minutes. I don't know why, but it always makes me horny when I know I'm about to get some. Well, I guess I do know why, but I don't know why it always gets to me even before I get the girl inside the room. We spent the first five minutes with me kissing Diane right outside the unopened door to the room. Her kiss was sweet, and the taste of the airplane fuel had been taken away by the dinner I'd eaten. Inside the room, I soon had Diane's sweater peeled off. and was working hard at getting her out of her jeans. Her hands were busy trying to open my jeans, before we both stopped and decided we would get everything done faster if we each undressed ourselves. Once we were both naked, we didn't stop to do any measuring. By the time we were finished, and Diane said she was ready to measure, I was too weak to argue about what was fair. She won the bet by a handy margin, but I'd already collected two thirds of the prize I would have received for winning. It turned out that Diane liked having her pussy eaten at least as much as most girls did. Her way of showing her appreciation was to reciprocate in turn. I did my best to show her that It was something I liked to do. Early on Sunday morning, I had to go back out to my car and resupply myself with rubbers from the glove box, having only brought three inside with me the night before. When we checked out of the room at eleven that morning, both of us were walking a little unsteadily. I had used the guardian to keep me fully appraised of Diane's reactions to everything I was doing to her. I wanted to perform well enough so any comparison she might make between Leon and me would be in my favor. That wasn't too easy. I had to hope what she was comparing me to was the best session she and Leon had enjoyed together. If not, I had no hope of measuring up to him. As we drove back to Orange, I was considering going in somewhere and having myself checked over by a doctor. I felt anemic, and very run down. It had been quite a physical challenge and workout for me. Would you allow me to suggest a possible remedy? I can convert certain of your body's enzymes, proteins and electrolytes into a far more efficient structure for you. This would result in your having a metabolism more conducive to performing strenuous exercise. One side effect is that your increased performance abilities might exhaust your sexual partners. Would you consider that a negative side effect? You merely have to request it of me? Done. I will monitor you closely for the next minute to be certain that no further adjustment is necessary. Perhaps it was only psychological, but I began to feel much recovered soon after that. Enough recovered, in fact, to allow me to reach over and take Diane's hand and place it on my dick so that she could feel me becoming hard again. She quickly withdrew her hand and groaned, but I could see she was actually impressed by it. "Now that we got this out of the way, what would you like to do next weekend?" Diane looked over at me and smiled. "Why don't you come up with something and surprise me?" "What time is your last class on Friday? "I only have one class on Friday. I starts at eight and gets out at nine thirty. I usually use the time after for studying in the library though." "Would it be a problem for you to skip that class next Friday, and we could leave here Thursday afternoon?" "I don't know. I don't usually miss any classes. It would depend on what we'd be doing." "I thought I'd like to go up to Oregon with you and take a look at the place where you grew up. We could start flying up on Thursday, stay somewhere in Northern California Thursday night, and be in Salem by one o'clock or so on Friday afternoon. It's only about an eight hour flight in my plane. We can fly all the way back on Sunday." "What about my parents? I can't just show up there with no explanation. My dad's having some problems right now, he might be losing his farm. I'm not sure he could handle me coming home with a new boyfriend right now. Are you sure you'd want to go up there to meet my family so soon?" "I'm not planning to go up there to ask his permission to marry you, Diane. I just thought you might like to see them since you haven't been home in awhile. Your father doesn't even have to know we're sleeping together." "I'm a little worried about something else too. Almost every boy I've ever slept with lives within ten miles of my father's farm. I'm not sure that I'd want to introduce you to everyone we might run into." "Am I so bad you'd want to keep me a secret from your friends and family?" "You know it isn't the reason, Jimmy. It's mostly about me feeling strange about going back up there with someone. I'm not sure how people might treat you. I come from farm people, and there's a distrust of city people. I don't know if you would understand them, or if they would understand you." "I'll talk real slow, spit out some brown prune juice, and put some cow flop on my boots. They won't even suspect that I've never screwed a sheep, or owned a stump trained cow." "That's what I was afraid you'd say. If we went out somewhere, and you talked to people like you just did to me, they wouldn't know you were just kidding." "I pride myself in my ability to fit right in. You shouldn't worry about me. The trip would let you get home and see your parents. I know you've been worried about things up there.This would give you a chance to find out for yourself just how bad things are. I'll even bring my guardian angel with us. He can usually come up with solutions to the thorniest problems." "You don't have a guardian angel. I'm not sure how you do that trick that makes my boobs grow, but I'm pretty sure it isn't a guardian angel." "Do you want to go to Oregon, or don't you? I could go up there without you, but it just wouldn't be the same." "I'll go. Just don't blame me if you don't fit in with the people up there. When do I get to meet your parents?" "Not until after I make sure my Uncle Frank has gone back to Minnesota. "I saw the way you were trying to see what adding an inch on to the salt shaker would be like yesterday at the restaurant." "I never did!" "When would you like to meet them? You need to be careful with my father, he likes to goose people. He thinks it's funny." "Maybe we should hold off on meeting them until after we get back from Oregon. Are you sure your plane can make it that far?" "I took it to Texas a while ago, and didn't have a bit of a problem either way. Don't worry about what happened today. There was just something in the fuel I'd guess. They probably will put in a new filter and everything will be fine again. What time will you be ready to leave on Thursday? I need to have some things finished and ready before then." "I can be done by eleven thirty. Can you pick me up at noon?" "Sure. If we get up in the air by one, we can make it way past San Francisco before dark. I'll bring some food, and we'll eat in the plane." ------- Chapter 36 I was busy most of the first part of the week, getting everything ready for our trip up to Salem. I spent half of Monday and Tuesday with Ken, in search of an attorney who would agree to defend the partnership's participants claims in front of the Internal Revenue Service, should it ever come to that. The workaround that Ken had come up with was tricky, but, if it was disallowed, the tax advantages would also be nullified. Ken felt that we needed an attorney who understood the logic behind each part of the partnership, one who could then prepare a winning argument in it's defense. The difficulty is that few tax lawyers at the time were prepared to give much value to a tax shelter designed by an accountant. In Ken's partnership, one class of partners participated in the partnership income stream at a much higher rate than the other class of partners. The other class of partners received all of the partnership's tax write offs though. Ken was planning on bringing in fixed income pensioners with a need for a high, almost certain return, and high income investors interested primarily in tax write offs and asset appreciation. I thought it was brilliant, and made maximum use of catering to the diverse needs of people with money to invest. In essence, the income partners were loaning money to the risk partners, who, in turn, agreed to subordinate their claims to the income partners claims in the event there was any loss of principle. I'm not sure who invented this in my other lifetime, but I'd seen something like it in the mid sixties, as a way of funding building projects. Ken planned on using it to fund numerous tax shelter programs, bringing the write offs above 170% for the risk partners, and yielding 9% annually for the income partners. We finally found a young tax attorney who was bright and hungry for new business. He and Ken seemed to hit it off well, so I paid him the five thousand dollar retainer he required, and put him to work researching a defense. I had decided that I would try to fly up to a field just south of Sacramento to refuel, and then would head up to Redding to spend the night. It was only a three hour flight from Redding to Salem. I figured four and a half hours to Sacramento, another one and a half to Redding, and then three into Salem. On the return flight, I planned on flying it in two long legs, Salem to Sacramento, and from there to Santa Ana. The first leg would be pushing my range if we ran into headwinds, but leaving as early as we planned, I could land and refuel at any one of a dozen fields along the route I had planned. I called Tom Foley on Tuesday, and he filled me in on the fuel contamination problem. As I had suspected, it wasn't anything serious, and the plane was once again ready for flight. I dropped by on Wednesday afternoon to see Diane and make sure that everything was still on track for our trip. We went out to eat, and had a little make out session in my car. Diane still seemed worried about how I'd fit in with her friends and family, but I had no doubts about any of that myself. Thursday, at a little before one, we were in the air, and on a heading for Sacramento. I had packed light, $10,000.00, my ditty bag full of toothbrush, razors, rubbers, etc, and four complete changes of clothes. I was wearing a pair of shoes, and had my boots and a pair of sneakers along as well. Diane had her suitcase, her purse and was carrying a heavy jacket. It was the first week of October, I hadn't even brought a sweater. We landed in Sacramento at four fifty, refueled, and were in the air again by five fifteen. We got to Redding, topped off the tanks, and tied down, all before seven thirty. We hitched a ride into Redding, and were forced to settle for a room in a boarding house next to a restaurant. There were no better choices available to us, since the other commercial rooms were all filled up with some logging convention or lumberman's jamboree. It was eight dollars for the night, and I still felt overcharged even then. Instead of the romantic night I had envisioned, all of it spent making love with Diane, we both wound up tossing and turning on a lumpy mattress between sheets that felt like they had been starched. In the room next to ours, there was an all night poker game going on, with attendant laughing, swearing, and the raucous yelling from men who were probably drinking too much, and gambling for more than they could afford to lose. We still managed to fool around a little, but it wasn't what I had hoped for. The community bathroom was located out at the end of a long hallway, and I had to accompany Diane when she needed to get up and use the facilities. I wasn't sorry to see the last of Redding, even though we got ourselves a great breakfast early the next morning at a little coffee shop next to the police station. We were driven back to the airport by one of the policemen from Redding, which I thought was a very nice gesture. By eight, we were in the air and headed towards Salem. After we landed and I tied down the plane in my assigned parking area, I managed to rent a car from the fuel operator. Because of my age, he required that I leave a three hundred dollar cash deposit with him. The car was probably only worth about five hundred. With all of our stuff transferred over to the rental car, we drove off towards Diane's farm. It was actually south of Salem, on a farmer's market road that was unpaved but well maintained by someone. We turned left at a mail box about five miles down the road, and I saw the home that she was raised in for the first time. It was old, weatherbeaten, and very small. It had probably been whitewashed sometime in the past fifteen years, and the front porch was in bad disrepair. I was almost afraid to step up on it. Diane, on the other hand, ran right up on that porch and opened the screen door and ran inside. I stood there, in front of the porch and listened to sounds of a happy surprise reunion. It was about five minutes before Diane reappeared, with her mother and father in tow. She was crying again, but this time it wasn't from any sadness, just the opposite in fact. "Jimmy, this is my mom and dad, Clarence and Florence Lowery. Daddy, mom, this is Jimmy, my boyfriend. We flew here in Jimmy's airplane." I got my hand shaken by Clarence. He was a big man, with rough, strong hands. He had the same color of red hair as Diane, and he must have weighed about two hundred and fifty pounds. I didn't see much fat on him either. Florence was content to hold herself back on the porch and give me a little wave of greeting. She was built more like Diane, tall and thin. Her hair was a faded out very light brown, sort of a mousy brown color I'd call it. If anything, she had less in the way of breasts than her daughter did. She had a very nice smile though. They convinced me to come inside with them. The inside of the house was better. Everything looked clean and well organized. The furniture looked old, but it had been kept up, unlike that porch. I found out that the farm was one hundred and twenty acres, and even with that small of a farm, it was difficult for one man to keep up with it by himself. Ever since Tim, Diane's brother, had left, three years ago, things had been difficult for the Lowery's. Like Diane, her parents were disarmingly open about their lives. They discussed Clarence's falling out with Tim, and the fact that Tim had been the one who actually did most of the planning, and worked to keep the machinery and equipment operating and repaired. They hadn't seen him since he left home in a huff, after a big argument with Clarence, and neither of them had any idea about where he was now living. Clarence was a good, hard worker, but he wasn't very bright. The farm had belonged in Florence's family since her great grandparent's had settled it in 1874. Clarence had been a hired hand who worked during harvest season for Florence's father. The two had gotten married right after Florence's father had found out she was expecting a baby, and Clarence was the father. When Florence's parents had died, Clarence and Florence took out a mortgage on the farm in order to buy out Florence's sister's share. It was this mortgage that was worrying them now. The bank was threatening to foreclose if the mortgage interest wasn't brought current. I asked them how much they needed to get caught up, and was surprised that it was less than thirty one hundred dollars. Things were quickly coming to a head now that the bank had refused to honor the thousand dollar check for Diane's school expenses. They had written it on the checking account that was a part of their farm and equipment mortgage. All of their farm income, all of their equipment, and the farm itself, was tied up in this single mortgage account. The bank had everything they owned mortgaged to secure their loan. In the past three years, the bank had been refusing to release any of the farm income other than small sums for necessities, to run the farm operation, or to make repairs. The Lowery's were screwed, and they knew it. The total amount of their mortgage, even including the arrears, was fifty one thousand dollars. He is living in Tigard, by Portland, sixty miles north of here. Casual labor, and he helps out in a junk yard in return for room and board. "Mr. Lowery, I have a friend who can locate Tim. If I find him, what would you like to say to him?" There was silence. Clarence just looked at me, but didn't speak. He looked angry. Florence spoke up then. "Tim has to say he's sorry for what he said. A boy has no call to speak that way to his daddy. I won't have him in my house until he says he was wrong and is sorry." "What did he say?" "That's between him and his daddy. It's no concern of yours." Diane stepped in then. "Jimmy, Timmy said Daddy was dumb, and he was going to lose the farm if he didn't listen to what Timmy was telling him." Clarence stood up then and left the room, but not before glaring at his daughter. Florence got up too, and went to be with Clarence. "Daddy isn't dumb, he was kicked in the head by a goat when he was seven years old. It takes him a little while to think things through, but when he does, he's as smart as anyone else. Timmy was just upset, I'm sure he didn't really mean it. He's just like Daddy though, stubborn as a mule. He won't ever back down and neither will Daddy. It's sad too, because Timmy was always Daddy's pride and joy. That's why it hurt him so much when Timmy said that to him." "It doesn't make sense, two grown men working together all those years. You can't tell me that they never had arguments before that day?" "I don't remember any cross words between them, ever before. It was just the one time when Daddy wouldn't let Timmy buy the irrigation pipe from Mr. Glynnis. He said the old way they did it was all right, and we didn't need the fancy pipes to get water to the crops. Timmy had been out in the fields all day, trying to make the water run up hill. It must have made him testier than usual, because he lit right into Daddy. They almost came to blows. Timmy packed some clothes and took off that night. We don't even know if he's alive." "He's alive. My guardian angel has him located. Would you like to drive up and go see him?" "YOU KNOW WHERE TIMMY IS?" Diane screamed this and brought both of her parents running to see why she'd said that. "He knows where Timmy is. He told me he did." This wasn't exactly what I was planning on when I told her about her brother. Clarence spoke up first, looking right at me. "Is he all right? Is he close by?" Florence might still harbor a grudge, and Clarence might too, but Clarence still had a lot of love for his only son. That much was evident by his tone when he asked those two questions. I debated on what I was going to tell him, about his son, and about how I came by this information in the first place. I could see that Florence was highly skeptical of Diane's claim of my knowing where her son was. "Diane and I are going up to see him right now. We'll talk to him and find out whether he wants to reconcile. We'll tell him that he has to apologize to you or else he can't come back." "I don't need an apology for me, not for what he said about being dumb. He needs to apologize to his mother though, for not writing or letting her know he was safe somewhere. He didn't have to worry her for three years just because he was mad at me." "Clarry, he isn't stepping one foot on this property unless he takes it back. That was a terrible, shameful, hurtful thing he said. I won't have any child of mine being disrespectful his own father like that. If this means I never see him again, well, then I won't, that's all." "Flo, I wish you wouldn't say that. It probably just slipped out of him from being tired and upset. I never thought he meant it. It's his running off and then not letting us know if he was all right that had me riled up." Clarence was almost pleading with his wife to relent, but she wouldn't hear another word about it. "I've said what I wanted, and that's what I mean too. He doesn't set one foot on this property until he's apologized to you." So, we had our marching orders, we could go see Tim if we wanted to, but not bring him home unless he was willing to apologize to his father. This wasn't exactly turning out to be the trip that I'd envisioned. We grabbed Diane's suitcase and put it back in the car. Mine had never left, because we weren't sure what my sleeping arrangements were going to be. We made it to Tigard by four thirty, and with the guardian's directions, made it to the junk yard on the edge of town a few minutes later. Of course, Tim wasn't even there when we arrived, and we had to talk to the owner of the junk yard to find out when he was expected. Apparently, he was running a gear taken out of an old clothes wringer washing machine over to a customer, and was expected back soon. We waited. Tim showed up after half an hour. He was a big man, a lot like his father in appearance, but his eyes told you right away that he was intelligent. When he pulled the truck up beside the junk yard entrance, he spotted Diane, who was leaning against the passenger side door of our rental car. He jumped out of the truck and ran to her. "Sissy, what are you doing here? How did you ever find me? Has anything happened to Daddy or mom?" Diane wrapped her brother up in a smothering hug and the two of them spent the next five minutes making all of the noises that loved ones do when they've been separated for a long, long time. Diane had been sixteen the last time she had seen her brother. It was an emotional reunion for both of them. Finally, they stopped long enough for Diane to introduce me to her brother. "Timmy, this is Jimmy, my boyfriend. It was him that told me how to find you. Jimmy, this is my brother, Tim Lowery." We shook hands, and then I told them I was starving and we could talk more over dinner. Tim ran inside and spoke with the boss, and then went and got himself cleaned up while we waited. Diane was excited over seeing her brother again. She told me that she had always assumed that something bad had happened to him, especially after no one had heard from him for a few months. Tim came out, and we all hopped into the rental car. Tim directed us to a nearby restaurant. We ate and talked. As soon as Diane brought up the topic of Tim going back to the farm, I saw him perk up and listen. He regrets what he said, and has wanted to go back home almost from the time he first left. He is afraid that he wouldn't be welcomed back home. In the past three years he has worked on several other farms, and this job he has now with the junk yard isn't work that he enjoys. He misses working on his own farm. That is how he always thought of it, as his farm. One problem I anticipate is that he would have trouble admitting that the argument that provoked the incident was in any way his fault, although he would apologize for the name calling incident alone if that would serve. "Tim, did you know that it looks like your family will lose the farm?" I like to wade in with all guns blazing. "I'm not surprised. Daddy never did anything to work the farm efficiently. He always chose the hard way, especially if it saved him any money at all. I'm surprised he isn't still plowing with a horse. How bad is it?" I filled him in on the farm finances as well as I understood them, and told him that the way the loan was structured, as an all inclusive wrap around farm and equipment loan, his parents were at the mercy of the bank. They could get squeezed whenever the bank decided they wanted to do it. I could see the look of frustration and defeat in his facial expressions. "There is one way that the farm could be saved, Tim, but that would depend on how important it was to you." "To me? I haven't even been there for more than three years. What has it got to do with me?" "The farm could be refinanced, but only if you were there working it with your father. It is too much for any one man to handle alone, and your dad can't afford to bring someone in for wages. The risk would be too high of it failing again anyway, without you there to take care of most maintenance, and to keep all the farm equipment operating. There is a lot of work that needs doing, work that your father doesn't have the money or the skills to do." "If he asked me, I'd come back. He'd have to ask though." "That's why it's all so sad. You won't go back unless you're asked, and your mother won't let you back unless you apologize to your father first. Your father is upset because you've stayed away without letting them know whether you were even alive. I wonder if you realize how difficult it's been for them, not knowing if you were alive?" "I couldn't take any more of his refusing to work smarter. It didn't have to be so hard. I'm not a mule, neither is he. He wouldn't listen to me." "Well, we tried. Diane we need to get back to the farm. I want you to spend time with your folks. You've seen Tim now, and you can tell them both that he's okay. You were right about all three of them. It's too bad about the farm, but we tried." I called for the waitress to bring me the check. "I'd have to have some time to think about it. I didn't say I wouldn't come back. What did mom say about me?" "She said she never wanted to set eyes on you again until you apologized to your dad. She's always been sensitive about people thinking he's slow, and then you, the person he loves the most, went ahead and called him dumb like that. I know she knows it was just because you were mad, and upset that he wouldn't listen to your advice. But, she loves you anyway, and she still hopes that someday you'll be man enough to apologize to him for it." "She's still so mad about what I said three years ago?" "Mad enough to lose a farm which has been in her family for almost a hundred years. Mad enough to lose her only son over it. I'd say she's mad enough, and I don't see it getting any better either, not until she dies, or you apologize to your dad." "If I did what you say, are you sure the bank would refinance?" "No, the bank wouldn't, but I'd refinance, with the understanding that the loan was in force only as long as you and your dad were working the farm together. If you left again, I'd have to foreclose to protect my investment." "Why would you do that for them? Are you so rich that you can do things like that? " "I like Diane, and I like making her happy. All you need to do is go home and apologize for what you said. If you do that, and it will probably only take you one minute, you'll be welcomed back. Of course, if you've got your heart set on staying in the junk yard business, or working on other people's farms your whole life, you wouldn't want to do that, apologize, even knowing it was the right thing for you to be doing." "When do I need to decide by? I'd need to straighten things out with Mr. Connors at the yard, and I'm supposed to help Mr. Carnes with his hay stacking next week." "I'm leaving here in fifteen minutes, right after we take you back. We're going back to the farm, and then I'm going to get myself a room in town. Sunday morning, we're flying back home. I guess you've got until the time I leave on Sunday to decide. I think the easiest thing would be for you to come back to the farm with us, apologize, and get this whole thing over with. After you do that, you should spend some time getting caught up to date with your family. You can hitch back here on Sunday, and do what you need to do. I'd expect you to be back working on the farm before I'd refinance it though." "I'll ride back with you and apologize to him. I don't mind doing that. I'll stay if they ask me to, but I'm not going to ask them if I can come back." "That's fair. Let's go back and get whatever you think you need. I want to get back to the farm before it's too late to get a room in Salem for the night. If they don't ask you to stay, you can sleep in my room." Diane gave me a look when I said that. "I was going to stay in your room." Tim gave her a look, but didn't say anything to her. "I'll get two rooms then." It took Tim about five minutes to talk to his boss at the junk yard and put a few things together for the trip. It was just past seven when we got back on the road, heading to Salem, and eight thirty when I pulled to a stop at the mailbox leading up to the farm. We let Tim out there, and Diane and I went up to the farmhouse. We hadn't even made it up the road before both Diane's parents came out of the house and were walking as fast as they could down the dirt road towards their son. Diane and I just drove up to the house and parked. After three minutes, Diane couldn't stand it anymore, and she jumped out of the car and ran back down to be with her family. I guess the reunion went pretty well, because I saw all of them hugging and kissing each other down there and talking excitedly back and forth for another fifteen minutes or so. I was happy staying right where I was, allowing them to have the chance to bond back together. When I saw all four of them walking back together, I got out of the car and waited for their approach. Florence broke away from the rest and came up to me and gave me the fiercest hug I'd ever received. It lasted for a minute, easy, and then she released me and walked into her house. Right after that, Clarence and Tim took turns squeezing my hand in a contest to see who could crush my knuckles. Clarence said "thank you" and Tim told me that he'd be spending the night on the farm and I should leave him there. When they went in the house, Diane and I piled into that rental, and went into Salem to get a room at a motel. During that whole ride back to town, Diane was chattering away, telling me again and again about how happy I'd made all of them, and how grateful she was. Inside the room, Diane was all over me. Apparently, emotional family upheavals that ended in reunions left her hornier than a three peckered goat, because she attacked me, and didn't let me rest until she made me whine for mercy. It was near midnight before I was able to get myself some sleep, and as I was drifting in and out of consciousness, I remembered that I hadn't used a rubber during the entire lovemaking session. I was vaguely disturbed by it until my guardian spoke to me. She didn't conceive. If you wish, I can take steps to ensure conception in the morning? Yes. You haven't requested it, and, you seem to already have a sufficiency of capital. I could, yes.