Storiesonline.net ------- My First Everything by Openbook Copyright© 2006 by Openbook ------- Description: A coming of age story for a group of early teens coming of age in the late 1950's. Larry enjoys the attentions of the girls in his school, and around his neighborhood. Codes: mf fant tears rom 1st teen cons caution violent aunt neph les bi het span rough humil exhib mastrb ------- ------- Chapter 1 The first time I ever set eyes on Eileen Chandler, I was fourteen and she was thirteen. It was my fourteenth birthday party in fact, and she was Bill Terry's cousin. Bill was a good friend of mine, from back in my Little League days. He was the team catcher, and I had played first base and done some pitching for the team too. On the day of the party, Bill had called me to let me know that his cousin had just moved to our town, and he had to entertain her all that day. Her parents and his were busy moving all of Eileen's family's stuff into their new apartment. Bill was calling to explain why he wasn't going to be coming to my party. "You can bring her to the party with you, Bill. There are going to be at least five other girls here, counting my sister. If we gotta have girls anyway, one more won't matter." My parents had insisted that I invite my twelve-year-old sister and some of her friends too. We had a large finished basement where the party was going to be held, and my mother had set up the record player down there with a big table, folding chairs and everything. She insisted on there being dancing at my party. My mother was a dance teacher. All of the girls invited were her students. My mother was helping her business with my party. It was harder to get twelve, thirteen and fourteen year old boys to take dance lessons than it was to get girls. I had to go to dance lessons all the time. I had taken lessons with my mom since I was about eight or nine years old. Bill asked me questions about which girls were coming. I told him the two I knew about, other than my sister, and told him the other two were from my mom's dancing school. "Is your mom going to try to make us dance again?" Bill had always avoided having to take lessons from my mom, because he was always busy playing lots of different sports. His dad helped him get out of it by saying that he didn't want Bill turning into a damn ballerina. In the late 50's or early 60's, if a boy took dance lessons willingly, his masculinity was very suspect. I had gotten into several fights at the school playgrounds and on baseball fields because of my having to take dance lessons. "Bill, there's lots of ice cream and birthday cake. My mom told me I could eat as much as I wanted if I let her play some records and try to get people dancing. She can't force you to dance if you don't want to. I'm going to be dancing, it's fun, and you can cop lots of feels if you do it right." I was exaggerating about the feels part. I had brushed up against girls while dancing though, and unless you made it real obvious, so they couldn't just ignore it, the girls didn't seem too upset by it. Bill left the phone hanging on the wall while he went to check with his cousin and the grown-ups. When he came back, he said they would come with two conditions. I asked what the conditions were. "I have to bring Jane with us too, and Jane and Eileen won't have any presents for you." Jane was Bill's sister. She was Kate's age. Kate was my sister. I told him that would be fine. He came back on the line in another couple of minutes, and told me that they'd be there at two that afternoon. I went to tell my mom about the two new guests, after I was done talking to Bill. "Larry, I know Jane, but how old is Bill's cousin?" I told her I didn't know because Bill didn't say. I figured she had to be pretty young if they had Bill watching her. By the time Bill showed up with his sister and his cousin, our basement was getting filled with kids. My mom had let me invite ten boys from school. All of them had shown up for my party. We had eighteen kids in that basement, plus my mom and my Aunt Agnes as chaperons. My mom let us separate into two groups at first, boys and girls. She had the records playing in the background, but we all just stood around talking to each other. Bill's cousin, Eileen, was tall and very pretty. She was thirteen years old, but already had noticeable breasts. Most of the other girls at the party were either flat-chested, or else just starting to get breasts. Eileen definitely had them already. She was on the thin side, which just made her chest development that much more obvious to everyone. She was over with the other girls. They were all bunched together, doing their best at pretending that us boys weren't in the same room with them. It was an awkward age for all of us. The girls were more advanced than the boys when it came to being interested in boy-girl interaction. Most of my friends hadn't started showing any real interest in girls yet. We might tell sex jokes to each other, or say something about a girl's figure, but we weren't hormonally driven yet. I was just starting to be interested right about this time. In school, I'd already had a few girls show some interest in me. One had even asked me to go over to her house after school, telling me that she liked me. I had made an excuse, and I think I embarrassed her by not accepting her invitation, because she avoided me after that. It was an uncomfortable time because none of us really knew how we should be acting around the opposite sex. My mom and my Aunt, who were partners in their dancing school, finally made me dance with some of the girls. My parents were Hungarians, they expected their kids to help them out whenever they wanted or needed help. My mother had a thing she did, with her eyes, where she squinched them up until they were about half shut. She would do this whenever she was not getting the cooperation that she either wanted, or felt entitled to. I saw the look, and my Aunt had her eyes set the same way as my mother. I went and asked Clara Townsend to dance. I'd danced with Clara at least a hundred times before. We took a lot of classes together, and had danced together as partners at several class recitals. She was thirteen and was my height, about five-foot seven. She might have weighed ninety-five pounds. I weighed about one forty. Clara was a friend of Kate's, and hung around our house a lot. I danced two dances with her, but none of the other boys asked any girls to dance. Kate started dancing with Lydia, one of her other friends, when a fast dance came on. I thought my mother and my Aunt were going to be upset soon, but Eileen walked over and asked Tommy Lampkin to dance with her. Tommy was already fourteen, and probably the most physically mature boy there. He had dark hair and big, brown eyes that the girls all mooned over in school. Tommy had a girlfriend already too, a tenth grader named Laura. As soon as there were three couples out dancing at the same time, my mother and my Aunt relaxed a little. The next record, a slow one with Elvis singing, three other girls went over and asked boys to dance. I was going to take a break, but Eileen came over and asked me to dance with her. We started dancing, and then we were talking too. Up until then, only my mother had been relaxed when we danced together. A woman who is relaxed feels softer in your arms. When the girl or woman is tense, you can feel it in her back, and in the way she responds to you when you move with her. Eileen was relaxed too. "Have you had a lot of dance lessons?" I figured that she'd tell me that she had. My mother had told me it took her years to get relaxed while dancing with other people. "I've never taken any lessons." "You're a natural then." I was talking to her, but trying to get a better look at her breasts too. My mother didn't believe in couples getting over familiar on the dance floor. She taught me to maintain adequate separation between my partner and myself. "I love listening to Elvis, don't you? He is so sexy." When she said this, she stepped in and pulled me closer to her somehow. I liked Elvis's singing, but I wasn't that sure he was sexy. Marilyn Monroe was sexy. Sophia Loren was sexy. Elvis, he wasn't sexy to me. He did make girls feel and act sexier though, when he sang, and I would benefit from this in the very near future. For some reason, when Eileen moved in close to me like that, she became instantly sexier to me. I felt her breasts touching the front of my shirt. As soon as I became aware of this, I got the first boner I could remember getting from just dancing with a girl. She felt it too, and pulled herself quickly back, moving away from me. I was mortified. "I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say to her. I half expected her to slap my face. She looked at me and smiled. "See, I told you Elvis was sexy." She moved back in, not quite as close as before, and we finished the dance. We took a break not too long after that, eating ice cream and my birthday cake. My mother had organized some games to play, kids games like musical chairs and pin the tail on the donkey. After that, I opened up my presents, none of which were that memorable to me. My mother announced that we should do some more dancing, then turned down the lights, and put on some slow dance songs. I was surprised at how many boys went over right away, and asked girls to dance. Apparently the darkness had made them braver or something. After two or three dances with other girls, I started looking for another chance to ask Eileen to dance. She was dancing every dance too, being asked by someone as soon as her last dance was over. It was starting to get hot down in the basement, with all those warm bodies so close together in one small room. After the next dance was over, I saw that someone else had already asked Eileen to dance. So I went over and opened the two ventilation windows that faced out along the side of the house. I had to stand on a chair to reach the window latches. I was moving the chair back to where I'd taken it from when the record that had just been playing ended. I looked up, hoping to ask Eileen for a dance when I saw her walking over towards me. Tommy Lampkin stopped her, and asked her to dance, but she refused and came right over to me. "Dance with me, Larry?" I smiled at her, and walked her out to the middle of the floor. It was another Elvis record, One Night, and she moved in close to me again, this time, putting both of her arms around my neck, and pressing herself against me tightly. I had been watching her when she danced with the other boys, and she hadn't been close like this with any of them. She stayed pressed against me for the whole dance. When I got a boner again, she didn't pull away. My mother and my Aunt Agnes went upstairs to take care of putting some things in the fridge and the freezer, and, while they were gone, a few kisses got exchanged. I was a little shocked to see Bill kissing my little sister. Tommy Lampkin was kissing Kate's friend, Lydia, and it looked like he was putting his tongue in her mouth. I'd heard of French kissing, but I never thought I'd watch someone doing it in front of other people like that. Eileen looked at me expectantly, her arms still draped around my neck. I wanted to kiss her, but I'd never kissed a girl before. She must have seen that I wasn't going to make the first move, so she did it for me. She pulled my face close to hers and planted a good one, right on my lips. My mother picked that moment to open the door leading down to the basement, and the added light that washed across the room from that made all of us stop kissing and pull apart slightly. We danced for another hour, before some of the party attendees started to leave. I danced with Bill's sister, Jane, and one or two other girls, but mostly, I danced with Eileen. She told me that she was glad that she had come to my party, and that she now felt like she at least knew a few people. She had been worried that she wouldn't know anyone in her new school. I mark that birthday party as the beginning of my first real interest in girls. It was only the start of many first things for me. Over the next three years, Eileen and I shared many of my first experiences. I didn't realize it at the time, but she was already far ahead of me when it came to experience and interests. By the time I was starting to catch up with her, at least in my own mind, she was off and running to a place where I couldn't follow. EDITED BY: JCOV ------- Chapter 2 It seemed to me that my birthday party had just as much of an effect on the other people attending the party as it did on me. Three weeks later, when Ed Nulty had his fourteenth birthday party, his mother rented out my mom's dance studio for it. There were about twenty of us invited to the party, with Ed inviting the guys he wanted to have attend, and my mother and Mrs. Nulty inviting the girls. It was a sock hop themed party, where dancing was expected and encouraged. I had made sure that my mom invited Eileen to Ed's party. Eileen was a year behind me in school, and since I was a freshman in high school, she was an eighth grader at the junior high school where my sister went. I had been quizzing Bill Terry about Eileen almost everyday for the last two weeks. I found out that she was moving to our town from Detroit, Michigan. Her father was coming to work in Bill's father's construction company. They were brothers, Bill's dad and his uncle, and Bill's dad had been after his brother to move here to help him for several years. After his business was well established, Bill's dad offered his brother a part ownership in it if he'd come out to work with him. Eileen's mother was a very good friend with Bill's mother too. I found out that Eileen was six months younger than I was. She was an only child, and, according to Bill, her parents let her get away with almost anything she wanted to do. Bill had seen her smoking a cigarette in front of both her parents, and she took sips of her father's beers sometimes as well. Up until this time in our lives, Bill and I hadn't done anything as grown up as either of those two things. We both had tried chewing tobacco once, but we found out that swallowing the juice led to vomiting. Bill and I had both watched while Tommy Lampkin stole records from the five and dime, but neither of us wanted to steal anything. We were typical teens of our time and place. Small town, middle America had been turning out children like us for the past forty years. Viet Nam was going to start getting in the news soon, and Ike was leaving office. John F. Kennedy was going to usher in a new era, and personal values were going to undergo a radical shift because of the birth control pill, war protests, and a new political age where the North/South antipathy seemed like nothing when compared to the hawk/dove schism that would soon replace it. I still watched Leave it to Beaver on our television set, but I was starting to appreciate the Eddie Haskell character more and more. My friends and I all thought that Wally Cleaver was too much of a goody goody to be believable. "The Beav" was too gullible I thought. In my town, at that time, that made my friends and me radicals. In the school cafeteria, we talked about a wider array of topics than ever before. Part of it was associating with the other, older, high school kids, but most of it was that we were beginning to grow up and change in our own perspectives. On the Saturday of Ed Nulty's party, I took special pains with my grooming and clothes. I knew that Eileen would be there, and I wanted to make a good impression on her. She was there, and we danced a few dances, but it wasn't like that first time at my party. She seemed withdrawn to me, definitely not interested in making further progress with our relationship. In fact, I got the distinct impression that she wasn't very interested in me now, period. I learned later, from Bill and my sister, that Eileen was going steady with another eighth grader in her class. At the time, I felt bad, like I had allowed a golden opportunity to slip past me. I had really been looking forward to getting better acquainted with Eileen. In fact, Eileen had been the girl I was fantasizing about a few nights before Ed's party. I was in the shower, and it was the first time I ever masturbated to an ejaculation. Somehow, even though she hadn't been present in that shower with me, I thought this meant some bond had been forged between the two of us. It was definitely a case of a totally unrealistic expectation on my part. About halfway through Ed's birthday party, when it finally became apparent to me that Eileen wasn't interested in developing a relationship with me, I started paying attention to Clara Townsend. I asked her to dance first, and then, after the dance was finished, I started talking to her while she sat down next to my sister. I already knew that Clara liked me. Kate enjoyed teasing her about it, and making her blush when I was around them. Unlike Eileen, I could tell that Clara was really enjoying the attention that I was paying her. It wasn't the same to me though. Clara was cute enough, but she hadn't started maturing yet. She didn't even have the beginnings of breasts, or any outward sign of having entered into puberty. I think that part of the reason why I put any kind of move on Clara was to see if Eileen might notice and become jealous. While I was over talking with Clara, Bill came sniffing around after Kate, asking her to dance again. I hadn't said anything to either one of them about the kiss I'd seen them giving each other at my birthday party. I thought Kate was too young to be kissing boys, especially boys that I knew and hung around with. When Kate got up and went off to dance, I took her seat next to Clara. For some reason, maybe it was just instinct, I put my hand on top of her hand which was resting on the table. I felt her whole body go tense, even though it was only my hand on top of hers. "Relax, Clara, I'm not going to bite you or anything. What's the big deal anyway? I held your hand when we were dancing a minute ago." "We're not dancing now, Larry, and anyone can look over here and see us like this." I lifted my hand up, moving it no more than six inches away before letting it come to rest down on the table again, sitting it there real close to hers. Both of us were aware of where our respective hands were placed. Clara actually stared at my hand, seemingly afraid that it might somehow get loose and attack her or something. I wanted to say something to put her at ease. "So, what's going on between Kate and Bill? Are they going out together?" I thought I was making a clever joke. Clara reacted like I had slapped her or something. She got flustered, and looked like she was trying to catch her breath. "Tell me that you're just kidding. Bill and Kate, I don't believe it! Wait until my mom finds out about this." Her hand reached over and took mine in a vise grip. For a second there, it scared me because she was squeezing it so hard. "Larry, you can't say anything. It's a secret. If Kate thinks I told you, she'll never speak to me again!" How in the hell could something like that happen? Right under my nose too. Bill and Kate? She was only twelve years old for crap's sake! She wasn't much more developed than Clara was. And, Bill, he was supposed to be my very close friend. Could he really be sneaking around with my sister like that, behind my back? The only thing that kept me sitting at that table instead of confronting Bill and Kate was my very certain knowledge that Bill could kick my ass with one of his hands tied behind him. That being the case, I decided to try to worm some further information out of Clara. If it was as bad as I feared, well, there were a lot of things worse than getting your ass kicked. "How long have they been going out, and what have they been up to?" "Since your party, Larry, and they haven't done anything wrong. They've kissed some, and that's all. Kate isn't ready yet for anything more than that." "She's too young for even that. Bill should know better. I bet he wouldn't like it if I was doing stuff with Jane, and she's a couple months older than Kate." The record stopped playing, and I saw Kate and Bill walking back over to our table again. I got up, pulling my hand away from Clara's. Kate saw where my hand had been though, and she immediately got the wrong idea. "What have you two been up to while I was off dancing? Kate had almost a leer in her voice when she said that. Bill was standing right behind her, his hand placed casually on her shoulder. One minute before listening to Clara, I wouldn't have noticed where Bill had his hand. Now, I was going to notice everything there was to notice about these two. "Clara was just trying to explain to me about how mad you were going to be at her when I tell mom and dad that you've been messing around with Bill behind everybody's back." The look that Kate shot at Clara was like my mom and Aunt Agnes sent our way when they were really upset with us for something. I'd never seen that look from Kate before. Bill took his hand off of Kate's shoulder and started to walk away from all of us. "Get your big ass back here Bill. You've got some explaining to do too. What do you think you've been doing with my kid sister?" I said this last part way too loud. I saw about ten kids turn around and look over our way. Worse than that, Mrs. Nulty heard me too, and started walking over to us. I think she was afraid that Bill and I were about to start fighting or something. With her approaching us, I either had to shut up about things for now, or keep on with it, knowing that I would then get my mother involved in it as well. Mrs. Nulty spoke to me. "Is there a problem, Larry?" She didn't look that worried, more curious than worried, I'd say. "No, Mrs. Nulty. I was just kidding around with Bill about dancing with Kate so much. I think he forgot that she's only a baby." Kate hauled off and kicked me right in the shins as soon as I said that about her. Next, just to show how right I was, she started crying. Right after that, Bill got all upset and came over close to me. He told me that he was just about ready to kick my ass if I didn't quiet down right away. So, like any other fourteen year old boy who'd been challenged, I punched him in his mouth. In retrospect, that was a big mistake. I soon found myself tackled, and laying face down on the floor. Bill had me in a headlock, and was trying his hardest to squeeze my head until he managed to crush it. Bill is a good athlete, bigger, faster and stronger than I am. Usually though, I am smarter than he is. Perhaps, when upset by something, I wasn't as smart as I thought I was. It was embarrassing being taken down and handled so easily by Bill. I was in no position to make a fight of it with the way he had me pinned and held in that headlock. All I could do was hope that my skull wouldn't prove to be either too soft or too brittle. By now, we had attracted the attention of everyone at the party, including my mother. She got Bill to let go of me and let me back up. Then, she wanted an explanation for our behavior. She indicated to me that she wanted me to start explaining first. I knew I was screwed whichever way I went with my explanation. To make things even worse, Eileen had come over and was standing right next to Bill. "It wasn't anything. I was kidding around about something, and Bill took it wrong. He said something, and I hit him. After that, he tackled me or something. It wasn't anything important anyway." "Laurant, go home, now! I'll see you there later." When my mother called me Laurant, I was in big trouble. If she also used my middle name, Imre, I was in even worse shape. Her calling my sister Katinka right after that, made me happy to be getting as far away from all of them as I could. I had stirred up far more of a hornet's nest than I had planned on. I knew that my mother would soon get the truth out of Kate. I also knew that I had embarrassed my mother at her place of business, in front of a room full of people that she had to work with, both her students, and their parents as well. I was certainly going to be grounded for a while, at the very least. It was even possible that my mother would get my father to take his belt to me. That almost never happened, but when it did, it hurt like hell. My father let my mother handle most of the discipline. All of it as far as Kate was concerned. With me though, especially after I got bigger, when my infractions became more serious, she would tell him what I needed, and he always followed her instructions to the letter. If she told him I needed ten whacks with the belt, that is precisely what he'd give me. The last time I got it with the belt was almost a year before. It had happened after some friends and I broke a lot of windows in an old abandoned house right outside of town. The other two boys that I was with had gotten similar treatment from their parents also. My father had to pay the bank over four hundred dollars for my share of the vandalism. I had been working for the past year, doing odd jobs like mowing lawns, washing cars and bathing dogs, trying to make some money to pay my parents back. I still owed them over $370.00 even after almost a year had gone by. I walked home, less upset about the prospect of any punishment I was going to get, than I was about the situation with my sister and Bill. I loved Kate a lot. We might argue back and forth all the time, but, when push came to shove, I loved her more than I loved anyone, even my parents. I was pretty sure, that, deep down, where it really matters, she felt the same way about me. To me, Bill coming on to her, was a serious breach of his friendship with me. Kate carrying on with Bill, behind my parent's back, was even more upsetting to me. I figured that she was too young to understand how what she was doing was playing with fire. At her age, something might happen to ruin her life and her reputation forever. I would have taken a dozen ass kickings from Bill and as many beatings from my father to prevent her being endangered in any way. When I got home, I went into my room and started cleaning it up. I figured that it wouldn't hurt anything for my mother to find out that I'd straightened up the mess in my room. It was another two hours before my mom and sister came home. By then, I was more than halfway finished with straightening out my closet. My room was spotless, I'd even changed my own bedsheets and made my bed with hospital corners like my dad had shown me. There wasn't one thing out of place on my floor either. My mother yelled my name as soon as she and my sister were inside the house. "Laurant, vhat vas you tinkin to do dat vit Bill?" My mother's strongly accented English got even stronger when she was upset about something. Now that I've given you the flavor of it, I'll go back to correct written English again. "I'm sorry, Anyu. I probably shouldn't have punched Bill when I did. Sometimes I do things without thinking them through." "I spoke with your sister and Bill already about this thing. It is ended right now, over with. Nothing more for anyone to say or do about it. Bill is coming over tomorrow for a family dinner. You are to treat him like this never happened. If you can't do this, I'll need to speak with Apu about what happened between you and Bill today." The carrot and the stick. I could shut up and pretend nothing happened and we'd all keep my father in the dark, or else I could keep it going, and my mother would see to it that I was punished for brawling at the dance studio earlier. "What about Kate? You're not going to punish her?" "Laurant, your sister says she did nothing wrong. I believe her. She understands now that she needs to be more careful when she is seeing someone. I was only a little older than Katinka when I first met your poppa. Your sister is a good girl, Larry, and she knows how to behave. Am I right, Katinka?" My sister nodded her head that mom was right. "You have something to say to your brother, Katinka?" My sister made a small face at me. "I'm sorry for kicking you, Larry. You shouldn't have called me a baby in front of Ed' mother, or Clara and Bill though. It was embarrassing for me. Still, I overreacted when I kicked you, and I'm sorry." My mother looked at me, obviously expecting me to say something conciliatory to Kate. "Don't expect to have me covering for you when you are sneaking around Kate. I was upset, and I shouldn't have referred to you as a baby. I'm still mostly upset with Bill though. He knows better than to be sneaking around like that. If I did the same thing with Jane, how do you think he's like it?" "He might not like it, but Jane would. I don't know why you're so upset, Larry, I thought you liked Bill?" "I do like him, at least I did. You're not even thirteen years old, and you are way too young to be interested in boys yet." "Larry, I've been interested in boys since I was ten years old. I just had to wait until the boys got interested in me." I looked at my mother, but she just smiled and acknowledged what my sister was saying. She was only twelve years old. what kind of person thought it was all right for a twelve year old to have a boyfriend? Especially a boyfriend who was already kissing her. "Did you tell mom that you and Bill were already kissing and stuff? Even back at my birthday party?" "So what? Didn't you kiss Eileen then too? Momma already told me that I was more mature than you are because girls mature a lot faster than boys do." "Boys don't get pregnant, Kate, but young girls, especially the silly young ones, do. The problem with you starting up with boys so young is that you aren't able to tell the difference between what you might want to do, and what is the right thing for you to do." "You don't know that, Larry. I have just as much self control as you do. Probably more. You'll never see me getting into trouble with the police like you did." "I don't want to argue with you, Kate. I trust mom's judgment. She knows what you're up to now, and that's what I wanted to have happen. As far as Bill and I are concerned, I don't have to like what he's doing. If he steps out of line with you, he can expect another punch in the mouth whenever I see him again." "He'll be here tomorrow. I dare you to tell him that to his face." "I'll do better than that, Kate. I'll go over to his house right now and tell him to stay away from this house, and away from you." My mother put a quick end to our bickering. She once again reminded me of my two choices. I could keep this thing going with Bill, but, if I did, that meant she needed to have my dad handle disciplining me for her. She wanted my decision right then. I wanted to tell her that I'd tell dad and take my chances with him. The truth was that I knew she was going to get her way with this anyway. I could talk to my dad, but, in the end, my mother would still prevail and my sister would be allowed to keep seeing Bill. I still thought it was begging for trouble to have her allowing something like this, but I told her that I would go along with her decision. I went back to my room, disgusted, and unhappy with myself for letting my mother back me down like that. Seeing how clean my bedroom was just served to make me feel worse. All that work, and it was for nothing. ------- Chapter 3 Bill Came over the next day, right after we got back from church. When he rang the front doorbell, Kate jumped up to go let him in. My father and I were in the living room watching a football game on television. Green Bay was winning easily. They looked like the team to beat for the Championship. With Starr, Hornung, Nitschke, Taylor, Gregg, Wood, Ringo, Jordan and Davis, they were loaded with talent. Put eight future Hall of Famers with the greatest football coach of all time, and you were going to do pretty well for yourself. Bill sat down with my dad and I, to watch the game, which made Kate mad enough that she went into the kitchen and complained to my mother about it. At dinner, Kate and Bill sat on the same side of the table. My father noticed, but didn't comment on it. From the time he came over, all through dinner, until when he left, I said nothing to Bill, and he did the same with me. It was strained and uncomfortable for both of us. At the table, my father launched into his fast Hungarian, talking with my mom. When they spoke quickly like they were, there was no way that either Kate or I could understand them. They went back and forth for about three minutes, my father getting more excited with each exchange. Finally, he stood up, threw his napkin down on the table, and went downstairs to the basement. My mother stayed where she was, but she glared over at me. "Laurant, since Katinka has company today, you will help me put everything away, and you can do the dishes too." She was mad at my father, but decided to take it out on me. I hadn't done anything wrong. I didn't give her any more reason to be mad though, clearing the table and doing all of the dishes and the pans too. Bill and Kate sat together on the couch in the living room, watching something on the television. As soon as I got done with the dishes, I went into my bedroom. I figured if I stayed in the living room, I might say something to either Bill or Kate that would get me into more trouble with my mom. I was laying on my bed, getting caught up with my reading for History, a couple of hours later, when Kate barged into my room without even bothering to knock on my door. She was crying. "I hope you're satisfied now, Larry. Bill just dumped me. It's because of you, and the way you wouldn't even talk with him today. I knew you'd think of some way to ruin it for me. I wish you weren't my brother!" She left my room, but not before she slammed my door hard enough to bring my father up from the basement to find out what was going on. By the time he opened my door, Kate was already in her room bawling and wailing as loud as she could. "Who slammed the door? Larry, did you do something to your sister?" My mother was right behind him. I could see her peering over my dad's shoulder. "It wasn't me, Pop. I think Kate and Bill had a fight or something. You'll have to ask her, because that's all I know." "Josef, go sit down in the living room, I will talk to her and tell you if there is a problem. You should relax. It is your only day to rest. Larry, go watch television with your Poppa." That wasn't a request, it was an order. I closed my History book and jumped up from my bed. My father had already turned, and was heading for the living room. Neither one of us had given any thought to not obeying my mother. My mother, satisfied that we were both obeying, went over and opened Kate's bedroom door and slipped inside. She promptly closed the door after her. Kate and my Mom were in the bedroom for about half an hour before they came out and Kate apologized to my father for slamming my door, and to me for blaming me for her problems with Bill. She may have been sincere in her apology to my father, but her one to me was positively dripping with ill concealed venom. My mother stepped in again and told Kate that her apology to me wasn't good enough. Kate started crying again and actually shouted something at my mother, before running back to her room again. I hadn't been able to make out her words to my mother, but it sounded like she'd said 'dick head' somewhere in the middle of it. Five minutes after my mother went in to talk with her again, Kate came back out and apologized to me again. The side of her face was red, like my mother had slapped her. My father was agitated by everything going on around him. Again, he started speaking to my mother in Hungarian. I understood enough of it to know that he wanted to know what was going on in his house, and he wanted to know it right then. His tone of voice said that he wasn't going to be shunted aside anymore. He and my mother retired to their bedroom to talk things over in private. In a couple of minutes, both of them were yelling at each other in Hungarian. Shortly after that, my father came out of the bedroom, and went back down into the basement. My mom stayed in the bedroom. "You did this on purpose, Larry. Now, everyone is mad at everyone else. I don't want to talk to you anymore until you fix things with Bill." "Fix things between him and I, or between you and him?" "Tell him that it's all right for him to go out with me. Tell him that you and he will still be friends even if he does." "Kate, I won't do that." "You're being a bastard, Larry. You aren't the boss of me. I don't have to do what you want me to. Mama said it was okay for Bill to go out with me. Everything was just fine until you had to butt into our business like you did." I got up off the couch and went back to my room. I wasn't going to say anything more to her about it. My mind was already made up. There was no way that I was going to do anything to help her and Bill get back together as long as she was so young. Hell, not just Bill, anyone. Let her be pissed. I didn't care. She was too young to be getting all soft in the head about boys. I knew girls who had gotten boy crazy at too young of an age. It never turned out good for the girl, or for her reputation. The next morning, before school, but after Poppa left for work, my mother sat Kate and I down and told us what she and Poppa had decided. Kate wasn't to have anything to do with boys until she turned fourteen years old. Mom said that was final, and she would back Poppa up on it 100%. Kate started in, right away, protesting about how unfair and unreasonable it was for her. She told my mother that she wasn't going to obey something so unjust. "Go to your room and pack your things then Katinka. I will not have a daughter in my house who won't obey me. Larry go to school. Your sister won't be going to school here anymore. I'm sending her to live with Neg Papa Fehervari." That was my mother's father back in Hungary. He had a farm way out in the country. I had never met him, but we had pictures of him and my late grandmother all over our house. Kate and I had never set foot in the old country. Our Hungarian was pitifully inadequate to having any conversations in it. It was an extremely difficult language to learn, and we'd both failed to learn much, in spite of both of our parents attempts. My mother was a willful woman. I had no doubt that she was serious about sending Kate to Hungary. I also knew that getting a passport for Kate wasn't going to be something that easy to do. Certainly not something that could be done today or tomorrow. I figured that the delay would give both her and Kate a chance to calm down and get rational again. When I got home from school that afternoon, Kate was on her way to New York City with Aunt Agnes. My mother had somehow found a way for Kate to get a passport in New York, and a visa from Hungary as well. My parents weren't speaking to each other. My mother was in her room crying, and my father and I had to make our own dinner. After seven that night, Aunt Agnes phoned my mother, collect from New York. She and Kate were staying with some Hungarian friends in Queens. Agnes put Kate on the phone after speaking with my mother for a few minutes. My mother listened without saying much for a minute or two, and then she told Kate that she would have to get her father's permission too. My mother handed the phone to my father, and he spoke quietly to Kate for a couple minutes. When they were done speaking, my father handed the receiver to my mother again. He spoke about six words to her in clipped Hungarian. "Put Agnes on the phone again, Katinka." She and Aunt Agnes spoke in Hungarian for about two more minutes before hanging up the phone. "Larry, your sister is coming back home again. She has decided that she would rather wait until she is fourteen here with us rather than with her grandfather in Hungary. She will be home again tomorrow night. I do not want to hear you saying anything to her about what happened today. It is in the past, and forgotten. Do I make myself understood to you?" "Yes, Anyu. I understand. Were you really going to send her to live in Hungary?" My mother looked over at my father before answering me. "Agnes wanted to go visit our Poppa because he is getting old. She is going on to Hungary tomorrow, but without your sister now. Zoli is bringing Kate back tomorrow." Zoli was one of my father's best friends from when he was growing up in Hungary. It was at his house that my aunt and my sister were now staying. "If Kate had not decided to behave, she would be on the plane with Agnes, tomorrow, or maybe, the next day. Children obey their parents. We have always tried to fit in with our new country, Laurant, but on this, your father and I agree that the old way is best for all of us. When you get older, you can make your own decisions. While you live under our roof, eating our food, wearing the clothes that we purchased for you, you will obey us. Your father and I disagreed only on who should have accompanied Kate on her journey. He said it was his duty to have done so, not Agnes's." I went to school on Tuesday and had to deal with Bill. Somehow, his sister, Jane, had heard that Kate had left school and was going to live in Hungary. I decided to accept his anger towards me as proof that he really cared for Kate. I explained everything that had happened over the last two days, and told Bill that my parents were very serious about their ultimatum towards Kate. No dating, or going out to places with boys, until she turns fourteen. I then told Bill that he could sign up for dance lessons with my mom if he wanted to stay in touch with Kate. "I still don't get why you got so frosted over me liking her. I wasn't trying to do anything with her, nothing bad I mean." "She's twelve years old, Bill. How would you like it if I was putting the make on Jane?" "I wouldn't care. At least I'd know it wasn't some jerk that wouldn't care about her feelings, or try to take advantage of her. You know I like Kate. I wasn't going to hurt her. I really like her, a lot." "Bill, the problem with all of this, at least the problem to me, is that you never came to me and explained any of this. It looked to me like you were putting the moves on her behind everyone's back. If you had come to me and told me that you really liked her in the first place, maybe none of this would have happened." While I'm telling him all of this, I'm also thinking about how none of it would have happened if I'd just kept out of it myself, or at least gone to Bill first, and asked him some questions. I certainly shared in the blame. As did, Kate. She didn't need to go off the deep end with throwing a big fit to try to get her way. There was blame for all of us here. Bill and I decided that we'd been friends for too long to become enemies over this incident. I wondered how my being friends again with Bill would sit with Kate, my mother, or even my father. I finally decided that I'd work Bill back into my life at home, a little bit at a time. That afternoon, when I got home, my mother and father were in their bedroom, making up. As soon as I heard them, I knew what they were doing, and left the house. I put my books on the dining room table and went over to the junior high to see about getting in some basketball practice or a pick up game before dinner. When I got there, Eileen was sitting with three other girls who were watching six boys playing a three on three half court game. There were three or four other guys shooting a game of Horse while they waited to challenge the winners of the game. I went over and watched the guys playing Horse. I knew all of them, or had at least seen them around at the park or on the school grounds. I joined in on a game of Horse after the old one was done. While I was playing, I positioned myself so that I could keep Eileen in my line of sight. It only took a minute to see who she was cheering on. It was a tall, skinny kid that I had played against in Little League. He had been a hot shot pitcher, with a tricky curve to go with a good fast ball. I remembered that he's struck me out three times in one six inning game. He was wild with his pitches, and had walked in three or four runs, but I think we only scratched out one or two real hits off of him. The next year, when he was twelve, he had been the best pitcher in our Little League area. He had learned to control his wildness, and I don't think he lost any games that year. Eileen was looking good. She had on a sweater that accented her well developed chest. When the game was over, her boyfriend's team had won. The three guys I'd been playing Horse with went over to challenge the winners. I wound up shooting baskets by myself. After a few minutes, one of the guys who I'd been shooting horse with, turned his ankle and sprained it. One of his teammates asked me if I would play in the guy's place. I jumped at the opportunity. I wasn't tall, but I handled the ball well, dribbling with either hand, and knew how to pass well too. I had a good jump shot too, as long as I wasn't being too well guarded. As soon as I got into the game, Eileen's boyfriend switched over to guard me. I wondered why he did that at first, but then realized that I was the tallest guy on our team. He was the tallest on his too. These guys were all eighth graders, maybe some were seventh graders also, so that was why I was taller than most of them. I was five seven, and not going to grow much more. Hungarian men seemed to not be that tall. In my family, on both sides, the men were less than five ten. I had hoped to make it somewhere around there myself. The game was pretty even. On the outside, Ken, Eileen's boyfriend, wasn't able to stay with me. Neither one of my teammates could shoot though. I'd pass them the ball while they were open, but they'd throw it up at the basket and hardly ever make it. Whenever I tried to shoot from outside, Ken's long arms would have me covered. A couple of times I faked a jump shot, and then drove around him for a lay up. We were staying even mostly because no one was that good of a shot on either team. Ken's team won it 10-8, after half an hour. We all stood around after the game, catching our breaths. Eileen came over to where Ken and I were standing. "Hi, Larry, good game." She handed Ken a bottle of Coke that was only about half full. He draped one of his sweaty arms over her shoulder while he drank down the Coke in one gulp. The bottle only held six and a half ounces when it was full. "You ready to walk me home now, Ken? I need time to get ready for tonight's dance." The junior high that Eileen and my sister went to had four or five dances during the school year. I remembered that Kate had complained that there was one coming up that she was going to miss out on. This was even before she and Bill had their little fling. I wondered if she and Bill had made plans to go to this one before things went sour for them. I wondered how many high school kids would be attending a junior high school dance. Now that I'd met Ken, I liked him pretty well. As long as I didn't have to face his pitching anyway. I watched them walking off together, Ken's arm around Eileen's shoulder, and her arm around his waist. I got back home at around five thirty. My father was just leaving to go pick up Kate and Zoli at the train station. They were due in at six thirty or so. My father never liked being late. He always tried to get everywhere early. The train station was only about a ten minute drive from our house. I was surprised that my mother wasn't going with him, but then I found out that she was setting up a sleeping pallet on Kate's bedroom floor for me. Zoli was getting my bedroom for the length of his visit. This wasn't that unusual. If I complained, my parents would tell me about how they lived with my grandparents after they were married, and about how ten people in two rooms was worse than whatever I was complaining about. I was anxious to talk to Kate again anyway. I wanted to hear from her about what she had to say to my mom and dad in order to get them to let her come back home. When I'd vandalized that house the year before, there was talk of sending me to Hungary so that I'd realize how good I had it here in the U.S. That was only three years after the Hungarian uprising against the Soviets, and both my parents were concerned that there might be further trouble again. So many people had left Hungary in the past three or four years that the government over there had eased up on some political and religious things in order to keep people from leaving. Even so, hundreds of families were still crossing into Austria every month and living in refugee camps until they got approval to come to the U.S., Canada, South Africa or even South America. The biggest problem people inside Hungary had was to try to get approved for legal emigration. The ones who left legally weren't able to take anything of real value with them. My grandfather had some land that he didn't want to just leave. One of his sons was in South Africa, his two daughters, my mother and my aunt, were in the U.S., and another son was living in Canada. It was almost eight before Kate got home with Zoli and my father. She had only been gone a little less than a day and a half, but she greeted my parents like she hadn't seen them in years. Me, she said hello to, but that was it. Zoli gave me a much warmer greeting than my own sister had. At nine, my parents sent me off to bed, and told Kate to grab a quick shower and then go to bed. That was the first Kate learned that I'd be sleeping in her room. She wasn't happy about it, but she didn't complain to my parents. I was trying to get to sleep when she came in from the bathroom. She turned on her light and got her clothes ready for school the following day. I waited for her to say something to me. She finally turned off the light and crawled into her bed, taking pains to walk the long way around me when she did so. "Good night, Kate." This was met by silence. I waited a minute to see if she'd answer me. "Good night, Kate." Still nothing. I turned over so that I was facing away from her, and tried to go to sleep. I felt a little sad because of her continued silence towards me. "I love you, Kate." I lay there in my pallet just thinking about how lost I was feeling now because Kate was back home again and she was still blaming me for her troubles. She was partially right to blame me for some things, but only partially. Still, that didn't make me feel any better. Kate was a big part of my life. If she kept it up, being mad at me, it would have a huge impact on my happiness. I fell asleep shortly after that. When I first woke up in the morning, something didn't feel right. Sometime during the night, Kate had come down to my pallet with her own bed covers, and was now asleep behind me. I felt her arm resting over my side. I eased myself out of the covers and went into the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for school. When I was dressed and ready, I went into the kitchen and fixed myself some cereal. At seven o'clock, I went into Kate's bedroom to wake her up. She was back in her own bed, asleep. "Time to get ready for school, Kate." I went back out to the kitchen and made her a bowl of cereal and cut up a banana in it before adding the sugar and the milk. I poured her a small glass of orange juice too. When she came out, I was sitting down at the table, reading my History book. I saw her look at her bowl of cereal with the banana sliced up in it. She smiled as she picked up the juice and drank it down. She ate her cereal with gusto, and then jumped up to rinse out her spoon, the bowl and her juice glass. "Are you ready, Larry?" "I'm ready." We walked to school. I walked right past the junior high anyway, so I'd always been in the habit of walking her to school in the morning. Neither one of us said anything all the way to her school. When we got there, she spotted Clara, Lydia and a couple other friends of hers. She ran off to hurry over to them. I watched her being all happy and excited to be seeing her friends again. I started walking away from her, continuing on towards my own school. "Larry." I turned around. "I love you too!" I was suddenly very relieved. It was like a big weight had been lifted off of me. I turned back and waved to her, but she wasn't looking at me. I had a big grin on my face while I was waving. Clara watched me waving, then looked over to make sure that Kate wasn't facing me. She must have assumed my wave was for her, because she started smiling too, and waving back to me excitedly. ------- Chapter 4 On Friday, Zoli left to go back to New York. All of us went in my father's car to see him off at the train station. My mother had baked up a lot of Hungarian pastries and some poppy seed and jelly cake for Zoli to take back to Eva, his wife. I was happy to have my own room back again. Saturday morning, Bill came by to get me to go play some football at the park. It was the first time that he and Kate had seen each other since that Sunday dinner. Had it really only been six days before? I left him alone in the living room with Kate while I went back to my room to get different shoes and to put on some older pants. By the time I got back, Kate had this goofy grin on her face, and Bill was blushing furiously. We rode to the park on our bikes. "What were you and Kate talking about, Bill?" "Nothing much. I told her I was happy that she hadn't moved to Hungary. She asked me why. I told her because I liked her a lot and I'd miss seeing her if she was gone." "Good answer. I guess that explains her grinning, and your blushing. You know that it's my father who put his foot down about you and Kate?" Bill nodded, seeming uncertain about where I was heading with this. "My father was upset mostly because of the fight that you and I had, plus he was mad about the problems that it caused between Kate and me." "So?" "So, if I went to him and told him that I would be responsible for Kate, he'd probably let me chaperon her to movies and things like that, even if he knew you were going to be there. I'd need you to promise me that you wouldn't do anything with Kate behind my back. Not even if she was the one who suggested it to you." "I thought you were against Kate and I going out?" "I was. Now that I can see that you really like her, maybe I feel a little better about it. Besides, I figured out your weakness when we were fighting, so I know I can kick your ass if the need comes up." "Maybe if I caught leprosy and lost both of my hands, you could. Make that both of my hands and at least one of my feet." "It must be nice to live in your world Bill. Of course, when reality shines it's light on it, all your silly beliefs have to run and seek the cover of darkness." "What are you babbling about?" "Your make believe world where you can beat me in a fight." "There's an easy way to find out who's right." "I'm not divulging my secret strategy until I really need to. It's something like Ingemar Johansson's 'Toonderbolt'. It would probably work just once, mostly because you wouldn't be looking for it." In 1959, Johansson had stunned the boxing world by knocking out Floyd Patterson after knocking him down seven or eight times. The fight only lasted three rounds. Johansson claimed that he had seen a weakness in Patterson by watching films of his old fights. In the second fight, Patterson knocked Johansson out, beating him convincingly. Johansson referred to his sneaky right hand as his 'Thunderbolt'. I wasn't expecting Bill to buy into any of this. "You fix things for Kate and me, Larry. I'll pretend to believe in your 'tooderbolt'." He stood up on his bike and raced to the park right after that. I pulled up to his bike about a minute later. It was laying in the grass and Bill was out on the field throwing the football around with several other guys. It was almost Thanksgiving, and the air was already turning cold. there's something about being young and healthy and running around watching your own breath as it hits the crispy cold air. On the way back home, after the football, Bill told me that Eileen had broken up with Ken. He wondered, out loud, if I'd be interested in bringing Kate to a movie later that evening if he could bring Eileen for me. He must have been scheming on this idea ever since I talked to him on the ride over to the park three or four hours before. "It will probably take me more time to get my father used to the idea of me taking responsibility to watch over Kate. I could probably find out this week if we could go to a matinee next Saturday. What makes you think that Eileen would go to a movie with me?" "I don't know. I might be able to talk her into doing it, as a personal favor to me. Tonight would be perfect though, because she's already coming over and I'm supposed to keep her entertained anyway." I had no idea that Bill could be so persuasive. It felt like he was pushing me right in the direction he wanted me to go. It was less painful than a headlock though. "My father won't be home until four. What time does the movie start?" "Seven o'clock. It's a good one too. "Psycho". Greg Chaltin said he almost peed his pants when he saw it." I'd heard of the movie. It was an Alfred Hitchcock picture, and supposed to have this really scary scene in it. I wouldn't mind going to see it even without Eileen, I thought to myself. I always tried to have a back up plan. "How about I talk to my dad as soon as he gets home and then give you a call? The worst that can happen is that he says no. I'm not going to try and snow him about you being there though, Bill, so don't even suggest it." "Larry, I wasn't going to. I wouldn't like sneaking around anyway. It isn't any fun doing things that way. I'd much rather do it the right way." I remembered all of the conversations that Bill and I had over the years. Of all my friends, Bill was the one I would trust the most with my sister. I just wished that she was older and more level headed about things. I was more worried about her talking Bill into things than I was about Bill taking advantage of her. When my father came in, a little after four, I let him get settled before I approached him with my idea. He was sitting in the kitchen when I started talking. I first explained about what I had been afraid of with Bill and Kate. Next, I told him about my observation that Bill really liked Kate, and that Bill wasn't someone who was out looking to take advantage of girls. Finally, I told him that I would act as chaperon, making sure that nothing improper occurred between them. "Why are you telling me all of this, Larry? We just got done with it, and are hoping to put it all behind us. Now you want to start it up all over again? Why should we do that?" "Pop, that's what I've been thinking about. Kate's mad at all of us now, because she thinks you're being too strict with her. You're being strict with her, mostly, because you're afraid that she's too young for boys. I think that too. I wouldn't want to see her get hurt, but I don't think she's going to wait until she gets to be fourteen years old either. I'd rather put her in a controlled situation where we could make sure that she's protected than have her sneaking off somewhere and rebelling against your authority. Remember how you always say you can catch more flys with honey than with vinegar?" "This is your sister Larry, not some fly." "Pop, do you want to spend the next year and a half trying to force Kate into doing something she doesn't want to do? I think mom was right in the first place, as long as we pay attention and watch out for Kate's welfare. If you give her a little taste of what she wants, she might settle for that. If you try to withhold everything from her, she might just make her own decisions about what she should and shouldn't be able to do." "Larry, I'm listening to you talk to me about your sister, and I'm wondering why you suddenly changed your mind about all of this." "I love Kate. I don't want to see her get into trouble if it can be avoided. If I see any signs that she's doing things she shouldn't be doing, I'll be the first one to bring her right home. I can be with her and watch over her. You and mom can't be there with her. Part of what happened to Kate is my fault. I didn't think things through before I got myself all worked up and excited. I should have trusted Mom's instincts and experience." "What you're asking for is a big responsibility, Larry. This is your sister's life we're talking about. If you misjudge things, she is the one who will suffer for it. Do you understand how important that is?" "I understand. I give you my word that I won't let anything bad happen to her. I'll stay with her the whole time." "Talk to your Mama, Larry. We'll let her decide about this. If it was up to me, I'd make her wait until she's older. No good will come of her being interested in boys at such a young age." "I'll talk to Mom. If she says it's okay though, you're not going to veto the idea?" "Whatever your mother says. If she says you can do this thing, Larry, I'm holding you accountable for how it turns out. You better be sure that you can handle that much responsibility before you tell us that you can." I looked at my father in a little different light after that conversation. He didn't come out and threaten me, not in so many words. That's what he meant though, and we both understood that. He was going to hold me responsible for my sister's actions. I went in search of my mother. After my father, I figured she would be easy. "Forget it, Larry. I'm not going to open this up for discussion. She waits until she is fourteen, that was the decision." "Okay, but if that's what you plan on enforcing, don't expect me to report to you every time she sneaks around and does what she wants. She will too, you know that." "She won't disobey me about this." "I'm just saying if she does disobey, I'm not going to take your side against her. I wish she'd wait until she is older, but I know she won't. I'd rather try to control it by being there, rather than react afterwards, when it's already too late." "You know she is planning something?" "No, as far as I know, she isn't. I do know Kate though, and so do you. If she makes up her mind about something, she isn't going to change it just because you told her not to do it." My mother didn't like anyone to go against her wishes. I don't mean that she didn't like it the same way that normal people wouldn't like it. She didn't like it enough that she'd send her twelve year old daughter thousands of miles overseas rather than see herself being overruled. Kate could be every bit as willful as my mother. I needed to make my mother understand that fact. "Anyu, were you any different than Kate at her age?" "She knows now what I would do to her, Laurant." "Are you willing to bet everything on that?" "Tell me again what you propose, and how you think it will be better." I ran through it all again. I told my mother that I would always be with Kate when she was out with Bill. If I found out that she was sneaking around, we would go back to the way it was now. I told her that I thought Kate would want to protect these limited privileges rather than risk losing everything again. "I promise you that I won't take any chances, or put Kate in a situation where she is in any danger. This will also give Kate a way to ease into social situations with boys. Slowly, so she doesn't get in over her head right away." After my mother gave me her permission to try my idea out, I noticed a small exchange of looks between both my parents. Have you ever been pushed into doing something that someone else wanted you to do? Pushed in a way where you spent the whole time thinking it was all your own idea? I walked away from that conversation with my mother, convinced that I'd been set up from the time of my first conversation with Bill on our ride over to the park. Had Kate put him up to it while I was changing my clothes and left them alone in the living room? Had she worked this out in advance with my mother? Back in my bedroom, I reviewed everything that had occurred during the past week. When I was finished, I admitted to myself that I might well have been manipulated into volunteering to be Kate's chaperon until she turned fourteen. Surprisingly, I didn't mind, even if it was true. I picked up the phone and called Bill's house. "Hey Bill. Is Eileen all set for the movies tonight?" "Yes, we just got done getting the money from Uncle Walt. How did your plan go?" "No soap on this end. I'd still like to see that movie though. Maybe I'll see you guys there." "Your dad wouldn't go for it, huh?" "I never even asked him. As soon as I left you, I started thinking it might be better to give it a few months before getting into all of that again." "You could have at least asked him, Larry. How will you ever get him to change his mind if you don't even ask him?" "There's no rush, Bill. You can wait a couple months can't you?" "Larry, Kate said that if you asked him, your father would probably give his permission." "Where did she get that idea from?" "From your mother." "Are you guys trying to use me, Bill? I thought I was trying to do you both a favor. It sounds like all of you are plotting something that leaves me caught in the middle." "It isn't like that. I told Kate that she should just ask you herself. She said you wouldn't do it if someone asked you to." "Bill I made a lot of promises to my parents today. No matter whose idea it was, they are going to hold me responsible for Kate. Why should I accept all that responsibility to help people who are manipulating me for their own benefit?" "Larry, I know you think I'm BS'ing you now, but I really want what is best for Kate. I thought it was a good idea to have you there with us. Just so you could be sure that no one was trying to get out of line with Kate." "Is that why you threw in Eileen too?" "That was all Eileen's idea. She told me to mention to you that she had broken up with Ken. She likes you. I'm not sure why, because I told her what a poor catch you are." "Kate and I will see you at the movie. We'll be there at six forty five." "Really? You got permission?" "Don't be late." ------- Chapter 5 I went back to Kate's bedroom and knocked on her closed door. It was already five thirty by the time I got off the phone with Bill. "What?" "It's me, Kate, can I come in?" "Why?" "I want to see if you want to go with me to the movies or not." "Really?" "Yes. I checked with mom and dad, and they already said it was okay. I didn't tell them what was playing though." "What's playing?" "Psycho." "What time does it start?" "At seven, but I told Bill that we'd meet him and Eileen out front at six forty five." I heard a mad scrambling inside, and then her door flew open. She pulled me inside and shut her door after. She gave me a big hug. "Mama said that first you'd think about it, and then, you'd do it, but I didn't really believe her. She said we had to let you decide to do it by yourself. Larry, I'm sorry about all those bad things I said to you. I didn't really mean them." "Kate, before we start this, I need to get you to agree on a few things. The most important one is that you will listen to what I say when we're with Bill, or with any boy. Not just listen, but mind me when I tell you something. You don't get to just do anything you decide you might want to. Only what I say is allowed. There are going to be limits, because you're too young to do whatever you might feel like doing." "What sort of limits?" "I don't know yet. It will depend on the situation, who is involved, and where we are. I'm not going to let you get into anything that I think might be bad for you, or for your reputation. If you don't listen to what I say, even if it's only for one time, we'll go right back to what you agreed to doing in order to not be sent to Hungary." "I agree to all of that for now, Larry. Can you please get out of my room so I can start getting ready? We can talk about it later. For right now, I'll mind you tonight. Is that okay?" I got out of her room. It had just occurred to me that I needed to get myself ready also. Up until then, I'd been more concerned about how all of this was going to play out for Kate. Now, I needed to make myself presentable for Eileen, and to concentrate on the fact that I'd soon be spending time with her in the darkened movie theater. For the past six weeks, since the day of my birthday party, I'd been thinking about Eileen. This was going to be my first date ever, and now it was my turn to start worrying about all the things a boy worries about on his first date. By the time I was dressed and ready, I was a nervous wreck. My mother wound up driving us over to the movie theater. It wasn't that far, and normally we would have just walked there, but Kate wasn't ready to leave until six thirty five. I couldn't make the palms of my hands stop sweating. In my mind, I was thinking about all of the things that could go wrong. By the time we left to go to the movie, I was wishing I'd never agreed to any of it. My mother examined me closely before we got into the car. She said something in Hungarian, I didn't understand any of it, and then she gave me a hug. That was embarrassing. "Larry, relax. It won't be so bad. I spoke with Katinka, and she will be good." Then Kate had to chip in her two cents worth. "I think he's more worried about being in the movie with Eileen." Then she giggled at my discomfort. "What Eileen?" My mother looked at me sharply. "Bill's cousin. The one he brought to Larry's birthday party. Bill has to watch her today and she's coming to the movie too." Kate didn't think anything about what she was saying. "Get in the car, Katinka. Larry, you aren't to let this girl distract you from keeping an eye on your sister. You are going to be watching out for her safety?" "Mom, it's Bill, not Jack the Ripper. She'll be fine, I promise. This isn't the kind of movie that kids would go to in order to make out at. I'll be careful, I promise." My mother nodded, looking back at our house once. I thought she was going to delay us further while she went inside to consult with my father. Apparently she decided against that, and we all got in the car and drove to the movie. When she stopped and let us out, I saw worry on her face. I thought she was worried about Kate. "Laurant, you must set the example for your sister. Treat this Eileen like you would want Bill to treat Katinka. I would be ashamed if you took advantage of her." I got out of the car, and so did Kate. She was looking all around for Bill, but neither of us saw him. I waved to my mother as she drove off. At least her little talk with me had taken away some of my nerves about Eileen. I turned around to see where Kate had got off to, and found myself looking at Eileen who was standing less than ten feet away from me. Bill and Kate were standing about a foot apart from each other, talking together excitedly. I smiled at Eileen and moved over closer to her. "Hi." I believe in the simple, bare bones approach to conversation. "Hi." Ah good, Eileen feels the same way about conversation. Bill was telling all of us to hurry up, so that we didn't miss any of the movie. Bill and I each bought two tickets. Then, Bill and Kate walked in, and Eileen and I followed closely behind. The movie was great. I really enjoyed the shower scene. The girls all pretended to be scared and we had to hold them and make them feel protected. At some point in the movie, I turned and saw Bill kissing Kate. It surprised me a little, mostly because it was a good part of the movie. I turned and looked at Eileen, but she was watching the movie. I tapped Bill on his shoulder, and he straightened up right away. I squinted my eyes about halfway shut, and looked right at his face. Kate giggled at me. We sat there, all four of us being good and watching the movie. When it was over, it wasn't even nine thirty yet. We came out of the movie and started walking towards Bill's house. When we turned on Sycamore Street, we were at the end of the street lights. The rest of our walk would be in darkness. Bill and I stopped several times along the way. I kissed Eileen, and I know that Bill was kissing my sister. I got my first French kiss. It was strange, but enjoyable too, once you got over the shock of having someone put their tongue in your mouth. We got to Bill's house, and, after a few more kisses, we left them, and Kate and I walked home together. "Thank you, Larry." "You're welcome, Kate. Did you have a good time?" "Better than good. It was perfect. Was it all right that I let Bill kiss me?" "That's all right, in private like on the walk home. At the movie though, I don't know about that. Did he French kiss you?" "Did you French kiss Eileen?" "Okay. I'm supposed to be watching out for you, Kate. I'm already fourteen. This isn't going to be something where you get to do whatever I get to do. Did he French kiss you?" "Are you going to say anything to mom and dad?" "Only if I have to." "Yes, he did. But, he didn't try to touch me anywhere." "He better not either. I'll talk to him about that. If he tries to feel you up, I'll kick his ass." "Larry, don't say anything to him like that. If he tries it, I'll stop him myself. You act like I'm helpless. You should ask Tommy Lampkin how helpless I am." "Why would I want to do that?" "At your party, he tried to feel me up when we were dancing. I kicked him. Harder than I kicked you at Ed's party." "How come you never told me that, I'd have kicked his ass too?" "Because, I had already handled it. You can't go around protecting me from every boy who talks to me. Besides, Tommy and Bill would both mop up the floor with you." She was right. Still, I didn't like the idea of Tommy trying to cop a feel off my sister. I thought the movies and the walk home had gone pretty well. The only thing I regretted was not asking Eileen for another date. This time, with just the two of us. I had thought of it, but didn't get up my nerve enough to actually do it. Eileen was different than the girls I'd grown up with. She seemed more daring, more alive somehow. I was intimidated by her. I probably would have been much less intimidated with Clara or any of the other girls I knew. That thought went through my mind, but at the same time, I acknowledged that it was this intimidation factor that drew me towards her. It wasn't a moth drawn to the flame kind of attraction, I mean, I didn't feel compelled or anything. It was a fact though, that she excited me more than any of the others. I sensed that, with her, there was no way of guessing, much less controlling, the events that might occur. Sunday morning, right after we got back from church, Bill called me on the phone, asking me to meet him at the park where we had played football the day before. I changed out of my dressy church clothes, and into play clothes. I got on my bike and peddled over to the park. When I got there, instead of Bill, Eileen was there. "Where's Bill?" "He's not coming. I asked him to call you so that you could meet me here. Are you mad?" Eileen looked worried that I might be. "Heck no. You are way prettier than Bill." That comment got me the smile that I'd been hoping for. "So, what brings you here to the park?" "Isn't that obvious? I wanted to see you. Let's go for a walk." She reached out and took my hand in both of hers and started pulling me forward, into the park. At the far end of the park was a small wooded area. It was only a couple of acres, but it was pretty thick with trees. When I was about ten, four or five boys from the neighborhood had built a tree fort in there, and we had had some great snowball fights with two or three guys up in the fort and the rest of us below lobbing snowballs at them as they rained down on all the kids below them. We were heading over in that direction, towards the copse of trees. "You didn't ask me yesterday, but I broke up with Ken on Thursday." "Well, Bill said something to me about it, so I knew that you two weren't going out anymore." "Ken has a big mouth, and he likes to brag about things to his friends. A lot of it was lies too. I don't understand why you boys do that. You have to know the girl is going to hear about it if you are going around saying things about her." "I don't know why either. It seems pretty stupid to me too. Not all boys do that though." "Do you do it?" "I don't know. I've never had anything to talk about. I don't think I would though. What can you gain from it that would be worth what you'd be losing? Even if you had already broken up with the girl, wouldn't all the other girls be afraid that you'd talk about them too?" "What do you mean you've never had anything to talk about?" "I just meant that you're my first, so I haven't had anything to talk about before." "Your first what?" "Everything. You're the first girl I ever kissed, and my first French kiss, the first date, everything." "Are you telling me that you never even kissed a girl before your birthday party?" "Not a regular girl. I've kissed my relatives before, but not anybody else." We had continued walking through the park, stopping only when we got to the beginning of the woods. Eileen was still holding on to my hand with both of hers. She had been walking backwards and talking to me the whole time. She released my hand, and used one of her hands to push her hair out of her eyes. She looked at me with a crooked little grin on her face. Her tongue came out and swiped across her lips, wetting them. "Larry, how could you make it to high school without being kissed by a girl? Didn't you play spin the bottle or Doctor when you were younger?" "My parents are pretty strict. Also, up until a little while ago, I didn't think about things like that too much. I mostly just played sports and hung around with the other guys. I didn't go to many parties except at church. We didn't play 'spin the bottle' there, and I never heard of that other game. What was it again, Doctor?" "Everybody has played Doctor, Larry. Didn't you play that with your sister?" "I don't think so. How do you play it? Maybe it has a different name here." Eileen grabbed my hand again, and walked with me back in among the trees. Once we were back in the trees a way, she looked all around her to make sure we were alone. "You play Doctor by having one person be the patient, and the other one be the doctor. The doctor examines the patient, usually without any clothes on. Now, didn't you ever play that?" "Never!" "You never even saw anyone without their clothes before?" "Sure, but not as part of any game. I've seen my sister, and my mom and dad. I've seen Bill, and three or four other guys when we went skinny dipping. I never examined them though. Why would I want to?" "Boys examine girls, and girls examine boys. You know something, Larry, you've led a very sheltered life. In Detroit, I know fourteen year old boys who have fathered their own children already." "You know them? What kind of guys have children when they're fourteen years old?" "The kind that do things with girls when they are thirteen years old. I can't believe we're having this conversation. Didn't your parents or your friends teach you anything?" Now I became defensive. It wasn't my fault I didn't come from a big city. I felt like I was just like all the other kids that I knew. I didn't think Bill knew much more than I did, maybe less. I didn't appreciate Eileen treating me like I was some kind of freak. She was only thirteen years old herself. How come she knew so much about things like that? I'd be willing to bet that nearly all the girls I knew were just as innocent as I was. None of them were pregnant, that was for darn sure. "They taught me not to make fun of people for what they don't know." I took my hand out of hers. I was getting ready to walk back to the main part of the park. Eileen reached out real quick and grabbed my hand again. "I wasn't making fun of you. I'm just surprised is all. I kind of like it that you haven't been kissing every girl in sight. You are a good kisser already. With a few lessons from me, you could be even better. Stop being mad and give me a kiss." We kissed for about a minute, most of it French kissing. Eileen pressed herself against me and I could feel her chest pushing in against my chest. Of course, I got myself another boner. Eileen took my hand, lifting it up from her waist, putting it right on her breast. She was wearing a big coat, so it wasn't like I was really feeling anything. It was more of a mental victory I guess. I squeezed her coat where she had put my hand. We finally quit kissing and stepped back and away from each other. Eileen was smiling when she looked at me. "Now I'm the first girl you ever felt up." "Not really." "What's that supposed to mean? Not really? You said I was the first regular girl you even kissed. You felt girls up without kissing them?" "Dancing lessons. Mostly on accident. Like if I was twirling a girl and her breast got touched as she spun around. You're the first girl who let me do it on purpose." "But not the first girl you felt up?" "No, not the first. But you've got the biggest breasts of any girl I've ever felt. Not counting my Aunt Agnes and my mother. but both of those were real accidents." "Have you ever felt a girl between her legs, either by an accident or on purpose?" "Just your cousin, Jane, when she was about nine. That was with my arm though, not my hand, does that count?" "Maybe. Tell me how it happened and then I'll tell you if it counts or not." "It was at the ball field, during Little League. She had my ball cap and wouldn't give it back to me. I got my hand on it and she somehow got it so that my arm was between her legs. I pulled it out of her hands and my forearm grazed across her panties. She was wearing a dress." "That's it, and you still remember it?" "It was embarrassing. That's why I remember it. Does it count or not?" "I don't think so. Unless you did that on purpose. Did you?" "No! I told you she was about nine years old when it happened. It wasn't anything I planned on, or wanted to happen." I saw Eileen looking all around us. Again, she was making sure that no one could see us. She had a slight flush to her face, probably from the cold air. "You can touch me there if you want to, Larry. I'll let you." Now it was my turn to look all around. I'm sure my face was flushed too, but not from the cold. "How come you'd let me do that? Suppose Bill finds out about it? I sure wouldn't want him doing that to my sister, or my cousins either if they lived near here." "You think I'd tell Bill that I let you touch my pussy?" I had heard that word before, even said it a few times when I was talking to other kids. I'd never heard a girl say that word before when she was talking about her vagina. Come to think of it, I'd never heard a girl talking about her vagina before. I moved closer to her and reached out with my hand and put it between her legs. She lifted up her coat and opened her stance a little bit to give me better access. I rubbed up and down with my fingers on her jeans. I couldn't feel anything but the denim. She took my hand and brought it down a little lower, then she moved it back a little, so the pressure wasn't as great. When she was satisfied, she started moving my hand up and back down. "Just like that, Larry, not too hard, and rub it slow back and forth." She finally released my hand and then, she started rubbing me between my legs. When she had found my dick, she squeezed it a couple of times, and then started rubbing it some more. "How do you like this? Does it feel good?" "I don't think we should be doing this, Eileen." "Really, why not?" "Because. We're not married. It's against the law I think." "Larry, don't worry. I'm not going to turn you in. Are you going to turn me in?" I took her hand off of my crotch. I was excited, but at the same time, it was making me very nervous too. I kissed her again, holding her hands in mine. How do you tell a girl that you want to take it slower? We continued to kiss for a long time. I forgot what I'd been thinking before the kissing started up again, just letting myself enjoy the feel of our lips and tongues touching each other. This time, when we stopped kissing, Eileen seemed calmer, more relaxed about things. "Eileen, it isn't that I don't want to do that. I really do. I think we should get more comfortable with each other first." "That's okay, Larry. I thought you might like seeing what it felt like. I liked the kissing too though. I don't let every boy do that to me either. I don't want you thinking that I do. It was mostly because you said you never did anything before. I figured you'd want to catch up with things, so we'd be even." "Have I caught up yet?" "Almost, but there are a few other things you need to do before you catch up all the way." "Are they as much fun as what we've already done together?" "More fun, a lot more." "I think this other stuff was as much fun as I can handle right now. Later, maybe we can do some other things, but not all at once." We started walking together out of the woods. I put my arm around her shoulders, and she put hers around my waist. It was the same way that she and Ken had been walking after that basketball game at the junior high school. I wondered whether Ken had really done what she said he did. He'd have to be crazy to do that. If Eileen had done the same things with him that she just did with me, why would he risk ruining that just to brag to his friends? I wasn't going to make that mistake. ------- Chapter 6 Bill called me Sunday night. At first, he pretended that he had called just to talk to me, but then he kept asking me questions about Kate until I finally asked him if he wanted to speak with her. He told me that he wouldn't mind just saying hello to her. I called Kate to the phone and she and Bill talked for the next hour. I was in the living room when Kate came to get me to tell me that Bill wanted to talk to me before he hung up. I went back to the phone. "What did you and my cousin do at the park?" "We talked. How come you asked me to come meet you there and then didn't even show up?" "Eileen asked me to, that's why. You should thank me for doing you a favor." "I hope you aren't expecting me to do you that same favor with Kate." "I know you wouldn't do it. Who do you think would win in a fight between Tommy and me?" "How should I know? He's a little bigger, but you probably are stronger and tougher. I don't think it would be easy for you, but, you'd probably take him. What do you have against Tommy?" "Eileen told me that he's been talking about Kate." "Talking about her, how?" "Eileen says that Tommy says he felt Kate up at your party." "Did you ask Kate about that?" "No, and don't you tell her about what Tommy has been saying either. She'd just get upset." "She told me about it already. Said she kicked him as soon as he tried anything. I don't think it came to much. I didn't know he was going around telling stories about it though." "I'm going to talk with him about it tomorrow. If he says that stuff to me, I'm going to kick his ass." I didn't know what to say to him. If it was my girlfriend, I'd make him stop saying things too. Tommy was a big guy and already had hair on his chest. He was almost a full grown man already, at fourteen. He had grown a little mustache when he was in sixth grade, but the school made him shave it off. His sister, Mary, was in the seventh grade with Kate. She looked like she was growing a mustache too. I liked Tommy all right, but he was a liar and a thief, and none too bright either. I didn't like him talking about my sister either, but if I said anything to him about it, it would probably make it worse. He would probably kick my ass too. The next morning, right after first period, Tommy and Bill got in a fight in the school hallway, right in front of the auditorium. I didn't see the fight, but when it got broken up by some teachers, Tommy's nose was bleeding, and Bill had a split lip. I was in the cafeteria eating, when I noticed Tommy and several of his friends, talking and horsing around. I heard Tommy speak Kate's name. For some reason, it really pissed me off. Before, it had just been other people saying that he was talking about my sister. Now, I'd heard it coming from his own lips. I got up and ran over to him and pushed him in his chest. "If I ever hear that you said another thing about my sister, Tommy, I'm going to kick your ass." He grabbed me, and was wrestling me to the floor. I tried to punch him in the face, but I missed. When we landed on the floor though, my elbow got jammed right in his eye. It was really an accident, since he landed right on top of me. It must have really been painful for him because he grabbed at his face with both of his hands and rolled off of me. I got up, not really knowing what had happened. I noticed that he was crying then. I took advantage of the situation. "You better never talk about my sister again, asshole! If you do, I'll come back, and next time, I won't let you off so easy." I went back over to my table and got my unfinished sandwich and bag, and walked outside into the food courtyard where the vending machines were. I was shaking from the adrenaline that had coursed through my body as soon as Tommy grabbed at me. Not five minutes later, Tommy came barreling through the door from the cafeteria to the courtyard. There were about fifteen people following after him. I thought he was coming out to finish the fight he and I had been having, but then I saw Dan Clarence reaching out and punching Tommy in the mouth. Dan was a senior, and was a lineman on the football team. His sister, Laura Clarence, was Tommy's girlfriend. Tommy kept backing up and Dan kept after him until Tommy just turned around and started running away. Three fights in one half of a school day. That was probably a record or something. Tommy went home after running away, I guess, because I didn't see him in gym class or in History class either later that day. It was all over school that Tommy had said something bad about Dan's sister too. After school, I was walking home when Bill caught up with me. "Tell me what really happened in the cafeteria today. People said you hit Tommy so hard that he gave up and started crying. I know that can't be true. What really happened?" "Toonderbolt, Bill, that's what happened. He never had a chance. After that, when I got him all softened up, Dan Clarence managed to make him run away. He was chasing him out in the courtyard after punching him, and Tommy just ran away. Three times he got his ass kicked today." I was being generous, since reports on Bill's fight had said that it was a draw. "One punch? That's all?" "No, that's not all. First, I pushed him to let him know I was there to kick his ass. When he charged at me, I dropped him. He landed on me so hard that his weight made me fall down too. I got up and was going to really kick his ass, but he wouldn't get up, and then he started crying." "I wish I had been there to see it, Larry. He's strong though. I can't believe you did it with only one punch. I hit him eight or nine times, but he just kept after me." "Well, between the three of us, I'm sure he's learned his lesson. If he hasn't, I'm going to keep kicking his ass until he does." Tommy came back to school the next morning, and was promptly called into the vice principal's office. He was told he would be expelled from school permanently, if he got in one more fight on school grounds the rest of the year. I had a class with him for second period, and he had a huge black shiner under his right eye, the one I poked with my elbow when he landed on top of me. I glared over at him with as menacing of an expression as I could manage. Neither one of us said anything though. The whole school was talking about Tommy. As the stories were told and retold, the beatings he had suffered got more and more violent. When I heard some of them at the end of the day, they had grown to the point where you had to wonder how Tommy had survived three such horrific beatings. I did nothing to correct any of the assumptions people might arrived at over my part in it. Somehow, Kate found out about all of this. I certainly didn't say anything to her about any of it. I think it was Thursday, right after I got home from school that she came into my bedroom, and started asking me questions about all of it. What I told her was pretty much the whole truth, as far as I knew it. I told her that I had heard Tommy talking about her and had pushed him. I told her that, in the struggle afterwards, I got in a good shot right on his eye. When I told her that I hadn't seen Tommy and Bill going at it, she was disappointed. I did tell her that Bill had heard that Tommy was saying things about her, and that was what started the first fight. She seemed disappointed when I told her that the third fight wasn't about her at all. "Thank you for sticking up for me, Larry. I hope that you and Bill didn't get in too much trouble for fighting?" "No, it was Tommy that got into trouble. The rest of us didn't get punished at all. Bill got yelled at by a couple of teachers, and they made him and Tommy shake hands, then, that was it. No one said anything to me about it." "Are you and Bill planning on doing anything together this weekend?" "No, I don't think so. Maybe we'll go to the park or something, but we don't have any real plans." "I'd like to see him, so I could say thank you to him too." "Call him. He's probably home by now." "I'm not going to call him. Girls aren't supposed to call boys anyway. I thought you were going to help Bill and I see each other?" "Not every day. Just when we're doing something where we might want to have girls hanging around with us. You know, like if we're going to the movies at night." "Friday night Elmer Gantry is playing at the movies." "I saw it last month." "Saturday night is The Apartment, have you seen that one?" "No, what's it about?" "I don't know. It's supposed to be a good one though." "How about if I call Bill, and then ask him to talk to you while I go do something?" "Sure, it's okay as long as you are the one that calls him." I called Bill, and then we got talking about school and other things, so I forgot all about Kate waiting to talk to him too, I forgot right up until she poked me one in the ribs with her elbow to remind me. "Bill I've got to go write something down before I forget it, talk to Kate until I get back, okay?" I handed Kate the phone and went into my bedroom. I shut the door to make sure I wouldn't have to listen to her end of the conversation. When I came back out a half an hour later, she was still talking to him. When I walked past her, I told her that she better hope that mom and dad weren't trying to get through on the telephone. "Bill, Larry's finally finished with whatever he was doing, I'll talk to you later, okay?" She handed me the phone and went into her room. "Gee, Bill, what the heck do you two talk about for so long?" "We were talking about a lot of things. She says that it's all over her school about us beating up Tommy Lampkin. She was telling me about what movies are playing this weekend. I wouldn't mind seeing a movie this weekend. You want me to see if Eileen wants to go too?" "I don't want to go see a movie. Isn't there anything better to do?" "Well, I'd like to see a movie, and so would Kate." "Bill, you can go see all the movies you want to, just not with Kate. It makes no difference to me. I already saw Elmer Gantry, and that other one on Saturday doesn't sound that hot to me. Why can't you come up with something different for us to do?" "Don't both your parents work on Saturday?" "Yeah, so what?" "So they won't be home is so what. Why don't Eileen and I come over there, and we can play monopoly or something?" "I'd have to ask my parents for permission. I don't think they'd like having two boys and two girls alone in the house without any supervision." "You could both come to my house then. My parents don't care. Only thing is that Jane would have to be here with us then." I figured that, with Jane being there, not too much would happen as far as making out went. Jane was the same age as Kate though. I should have thought about that. If Kate was interested in boys, Jane might be as well. I wanted to see Eileen again. I'd had some time to think about what had taken place in the woods at the park. I knew that I wanted to experiment more with her. Since Eileen was so experienced and willing, I should have allowed her to show me more stuff without stopping her. I was scared before. Now that I was used to the whole idea, it had a lot of appeal to me. I told Bill to set it up for Saturday morning after ten o'clock. Kate and I both had house cleaning chores on Saturday mornings. I went to Kate's room and told her about what Bill and I were setting up at his house. I told her that the five of us would play monopoly and then maybe all go out together to get something to eat in the afternoon. She didn't seem as happy about it as I thought she'd be. "I don't even like monopoly, Larry. With Jane there, we won't be able to do anything else either." "If you're talking about making out, then you are right. We won't be going to the movies this weekend either. When I told you that I'd help you see Bill, I didn't mean that I'd help you two get together for make out sessions. I'm not even sure I should help you to get together in the first place. I didn't want you to get into trouble by sneaking around because you had decided that was the only way to see him. You are still only twelve, just like Jane." "Larry, what harm is there in kissing? I like it and so does Bill. Don't you like kissing Eileen? We're not doing anything bad. Mom says that it is your body that signals when the time is right for things, not your age. Look at Clara, she's a year older than me, but I'm more developed than she is. Eileen is the same age as Clara. Look how developed she is compared to Clara. There's a girl in sixth grade at my old elementary school, and she already has more on top than Eileen. It isn't age that matters." "You can talk until you're blue in the face, Kate. My answer will still be the same. If you go along with my way, you get some of what you want. If you insist on more than I'm willing to allow, then you either get to do nothing until you are fourteen, or else you have to sneak around and maybe get caught and punished for it. I'm not going to put up with you always trying to push for more from me." "I was just trying to explain my side of it, Larry. I never once said that I wasn't going to do what you say. Are you planning on telling Papa and Mama about this?" "Not unless they ask me about my plans. I don't need to check with them for everything I do. They already decided to trust my judgment when it comes to things like this." Saturday morning, Kate and I worked really fast to get everything done as far as house work went. We were done with all of it before nine, and then went and got ourselves cleaned up. At ten, I called over to Bill's to make sure everything was set up. There was one little snag, according to Bill. A minor problem he called it. Eileen was with her parents this weekend, driving to Detroit to visit some friends of the family. Bill swore that he hadn't known about any of this before. I asked him why he didn't call me and let me know the night before? "Because I was hoping that it wouldn't matter that much to you. I mean, we can still do all the things we planned on. It will just be without Eileen, that's all." "I don't know about this, Bill. The main reason I was going to do it was because Eileen was going to be there too." "Jane's going to be here. You can be her date." "Bill, Jane's only a little girl. She's a seventh grader." "Kate's a seventh grader too." "That's right, Bill, she is. They both have two school years to complete before they even get to high school. That's what I've been trying to tell you. Kate and Jane are too young for the both of us." "Kate's not too young for me. If Jane is too young for you, that's your problem, not mine." I wondered once more what Bill's reaction would be if I came on to his sister like he wanted to do with mine. What would he think if he saw me French kissing his kid sister? I knew that Jane had a baby crush on me, and had had one for a long time. She was the team mascot during our last two Little League years, and mostly sat close to me whenever I didn't run her off. At my birthday party I had noticed that she was definitely getting some development in her chest. Not boobs yet, but definite pronounced swellings. I didn't think Bill would like it at all. If it hadn't been for Eileen, I might have thought seriously about doing something with Jane just to piss Bill off. "Okay, Bill, we're coming over. For monopoly only. Try to keep from trying to paw my sister all right?" "I'll treat yours the same way you treat mine. Thanks for doing this, Larry." We walked over to Bill's house. When Jane answered the door, I saw that she was wearing a nice dress. It looked to me like she had done something new to her hair. Bill was at the dining room table, setting out the monopoly game. As soon as we were all together in the same room, both girls excused themselves and went off somewhere. I thought I heard some giggling from both of them. "What do you suppose those two are up to?" "Plotting their strategy probably. Jane has been hoping for something like this for a long time. I think she figured once Kate and I started going out together, you would start seeing her as old enough to go out with too." "I don't. She's too young for me. This is starting to feel too strange for me to deal with, Bill. I mean, I know you really like Kate, and she likes you too, but she just seems too young to me to be getting involved with boys. When did you start being interested in girls, Bill?" "I don't know. I've been a little bit interested since I was about twelve. I've gotten more interested since the start of last summer." "Really, since you were twelve? I didn't get interested until I turned fourteen. I guess I liked some of the dancing things before then, but it wasn't anything that I bothered about until my party this year." "Jane might be young, but she's as interested as I am. Probably more interested." The girls both came back then. I was going to ask Bill what made him think that Jane was interested in boys. We started playing monopoly. Bill and I sat across from each other and Jane and Kate were across from each other too. It was a fairly long game, but it looked more and more like Jane was going to win it. She had hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place, plus a monopoly on the yellow and the green properties. I had all the orange and two railroads and a utility company. Kate was in bad shape too, and poor Bill was stuck with the dark purple properties, two of the red ones, two of the light purple ones, and nothing else. We all kept landing on Jane's hotels. Finally, all of us just gave up and pronounced Jane the winner. It was one thirty, and I was hungry. I wanted to go out and get something to eat. Bill and Kate wanted to stay in the living room and kiss. That's what Kate said anyway, and Bill didn't argue with her about it. "What am I supposed to do while you two are sitting on the sofa kissing?" "Kiss Jane, you both probably need the practice." Kate had put it into words now. It was the opening salvo of her insurrection against my having any decision power over her activities. I had little doubt that she had carefully planned and orchestrated precisely how she would go about doing this. Now, the choice was left to me. I could either make a big stink, dragging her away from Bill's house, or else, I could cave in gracefully, going along with her, letting her win this round. Winning this time would just make her that much more confident in any future contests of this sort. "Kate, I don't think Jane wants to spend any of her time practicing kissing with me." "She does too. I asked her already. Right Jane?" Jane was embarrassed by having everyone looking at her, but she did nod her head up and down, confirming that Kate was telling the truth. I looked over at Bill, but he had a sheepish look on his face and wouldn't look me in the eye. I didn't think this had been his idea. Of course, he wanted to kiss my sister. He wasn't the one who was pushing for it though, that was all Kate. I thought about it, considering my options carefully. Jane was at least as well developed as Kate. She was even cuter than Kate. I thought about Eileen too. She and I didn't have any understanding. Even so, she probably wouldn't like finding out that Jane and I had been making out while she was visiting friends in Detroit. Was I willing to alienate her? On the one hand, this whole thing might blow up in my face, making the situation worse than it was before I got myself right back in the middle of it, by volunteering to be Kate's chaperon. On the other hand, any confrontation with anyone might be averted if I just played things the right way. Bill would probably be the first one to object to what was going on here. I remembered how I felt when I first noticed Bill kissing Kate at my party. I'm not trying to convince anyone that all of my thoughts were pure and noble here. Eileen had already given me a taste for the pleasures of kissing and touching. I figured that Bill wasn't going to let me go very far with his sister, and I certainly wasn't going to let him get too far with Kate. Both girls were nice girls, not the kind of girls to permit many liberties from any boy. I figured either Bill would cut things short, or else we'd have an innocent little kissing session on the sofa. That was another thing, we were all going to be sitting on the same sofa. How far would anyone go in broad daylight with your brother or sister close by, watching you? ------- Chapter 7 My decision made, I went over to the far end of the couch, away from where Bill was sitting. The sofa was only about six feet long. Fitting four people across it was going to be a tight squeeze. We managed. It started off pretty awkward. Kate had to give Jane a nudge towards me. I thought, now that I'd decided to do it, that either Jane or Bill would back out. Slowly, Jane approached me and then sat down. There was a foot separating the two of us. This left another foot and a half clearance between Jane and Bill. Kate promptly sat down, her size forcing Jane to scoot over closer to me so that we'd all fit. I put my arm around her shoulder and drew her in even closer to me. "You can back out of this if you want to, Jane. I don't want you doing anything you don't want to do." In response, Jane attacked me. There isn't any other way to describe it. For a few seconds, she looked like she was really uncomfortable, and then she reached up, put her arms around my neck, and started kissing me feverishly. It took me completely by surprise. When she started probing my lips with her tongue, a few seconds later, I opened my mouth in astonishment. I reacted to what she was doing by not doing anything proactive at all. I just sat there, allowing her to lead the way. She broke away from our mouth kissing, and started working on my neck and ear. I felt her tongue probing inside my ear lobe before she went right back to kissing my neck. Somehow, in the midst of all of this, Jane had gotten herself up so that she had straddled her legs across one of my legs. when she lowered herself down again, I felt her pressing down against my thigh. She then went back to kissing my mouth. When I didn't move away or try to resist her, she started rocking back and forth, up and down my pant leg. The first coherent thought I remember having was that she was humping against my leg like you sometimes might see a dog do. It was that weird thought that finally galvanized me into action. I grabbed Jane by her waist with both my hands, lifting her up bodily, then moving her off of me. I twisted my own body sideways, and let go of her, just as I lifted up off of the sofa. Her face was red, not pink, not flushed. It looked like she had been boiled or something. I looked over at Bill and Kate, and both of them seemed shocked as well. "Jane, what was all that?" I wondered if she would be able to respond to me. "What do you mean?" She was breathing hard when she said that. Her nostrils were dilated because of her attempts to get sufficient oxygen into her lungs. From start to finish, we aren't talking about more than two minutes time elapsing for this entire episode. "Wasn't I doing it right?" "I don't know about right or not. What were you trying to do?" This probably wasn't the best approach to take, but I was puzzled and curious. Jane didn't answer, but her lower lip started to quiver, a sure sign that tears were about to be shed. Kate reached over and hugged her to her. Then, they both got up and left the living room. I looked over at Bill. I needed to blame someone for all of this, and Bill seemed a good choice at the time. Bill put both of his hands up in front of himself, like he was trying to keep something from running into him. "I never told her to do that, Larry. Did you see that? I don't have any idea where she learned to do something like that. I never even kissed Kate just now, because we were both watching Jane. What do you think caused that?" "I think she got overwrought. There was too much pressure on her or something. Maybe she didn't want to seem too innocent or inexperienced, so she went overboard the other way? Whatever it was, it was scary for me. You think she'll be all right?" "Maybe you're right. She's been awfully nervous all morning, since before you came, and then, while we were playing monopoly, she was calm again. I thought she had settled herself down. If it had been any other girl, and not my sister, that would have been pretty fantastic. Being that it was Jane though, it wasn't exciting to me at all." I looked at him, not believing what he was talking about. "Maybe it wasn't exciting to you, Bill. If I hadn't been so shocked by the suddenness of it all, I'm not certain I would have tried to stop her. That girl can kiss. Did you see what she did with her legs on my thigh?" "You better not say one more word to me about any of that, Larry. I mean it too. Not another word. That's my sister." "You mean that now that the shoe is on the other foot, this all looks different to you?" "No, I mean you can't talk about her like that to me. You can't do what you did with her in front of me either. I saw what she was doing with you. I don't need you to talk about it with me. I'm glad you stopped her when you did though. If you hadn't of stopped her, I would of, and soon." "You don't think that both of our sisters are too young for this kind of pressure?" "She was probably just too nervous. She'd get used to it. Kate doesn't act like that, not ever." "So, you think we should bring them both back out here and try it all again?" "I didn't say that. Quit putting words in my mouth. I think it might be worse though, if we all just stopped, when it turned out like this one time. Jane would probably feel terrible. Maybe we should start all over again, but explain to Jane that she doesn't have to try to impress you so much with her enthusiasm." "You're serious? I would think it would just add to her nerves after what just happened. It isn't like falling off a horse and getting right back up. I would like to talk with her though before we leave. Just to let her know that nobody is upset with her. If she is calm enough, maybe a little, innocent kissing would be all right." As if on cue, Kate and Jane came back into the living room. They were holding hands and Jane was half hidden behind Kate. Kate had a little reassuring smile for Bill, trying to indicate that things were going to be all right. "Jane, come here please. I need to say something to you." As I spoke to her, I patted the cushion next to mine, indicating to her that I wanted her to sit there. Kate pulled her forward for the first one or two steps, and then Jane took over on her own. She sat down right where I had indicated for her to sit. I took both of her hands in mine, staring right at her face, which was no longer lobster red. "Are you okay?" She nodded that she was. "I'm okay too. Bill's okay and Kate's okay as well. No one was hurt or upset by anything. Bill and I thought that you might have been nervous and just tried too hard. If that's what it was, there's no problem. I thought we might try it again though, only this time you let me do the leading. Like a dance? I'll lead, and you follow. You can just relax and enjoy the music, all right?" She gave me a very uncertain and tentative nod of agreement. I was vaguely aware of Bill and Kate looking at us while this was all being said. I tried to put them out of my mind and just concentrate totally on Jane. I leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. I kept my mouth closed and let her get used to me for awhile. After a few minutes, I opened my mouth and used my tongue to pry her lips open. We French kissed, but not fiercely or hungrily. It was passionate, but not a kiss to inflame anyone. When we broke the kiss and I moved a little bit away from her, she looked like she had enjoyed herself, but seemed in full control. "Was that all right?" I smiled as I asked her. My one hand was laying on top of both her hands which she had folded in her lap. Rather than answer me, she took her hands out of my hand and put them around my neck again. She lifted herself up until she was on her knees and her face was level with mine. She came forward and started kissing me again. It didn't take her as long as it took me, before she was trying to pry her tongue between my lips. Her kiss was a little more passionate than mine had been, but nothing like her first attempt had been. I started missing her earlier abandon. We broke apart, and she smiled at me. I turned my head to look over at Kate and Bill kissing on the other end of the sofa. Bill was just sitting there, allowing Kate to take the initiative. She was raised up on her knees as well, and I watched as she kept squirming around, trying to find a more comfortable position. By the time she had found one she liked, she had her entire upper body draped across Bill's. They looked like they were doing all right, and I saw that Bill's hands weren't moving around on Kate's body. In fact, Bill's hands were grasping his legs, down by his knees. I turned back to Jane, and we started kissing again. Sometime after we had been kissing for awhile, I heard Kate moaning. I turned a little so that I could keep kissing Jane and still see what Bill and Kate were up to. Bill still had both hands on his knees, but I saw that one of Kate's hands had found it's way between her own legs. Kate was touching herself. Jane stopped kissing me, and she turned to look as well. I think both of us were a little bit shocked by it. I almost said something about it to Kate, but, because Bill wasn't doing anything to take advantage of her, I decided not to say anything. Jane and I went back to kissing, and, in just another minute, I felt Jane's hand between us, and then I could feel her forearm moving up and down as her hand moved back and forth between her legs. Kate was wearing jeans, but Jane had on a dress. I was paying more attention as Jane's kiss started moving back up in intensity, closer to the first time we'd kissed. In a very short time, Jane made a few moaning sounds of her own, and then she stopped moving her hand, and was still. When we broke our kiss, Jane was red in the face again, but seemed much calmer about it all. I turned to look at Bill and Kate again, and Kate was now rubbing herself more furiously. Bill's hands were still on his legs, but were now considerably higher. I saw him squeezing himself through his jeans. I had thought of doing the same thing, but had managed to hold off from doing it. Bill opened his eyes and looked at me. I saw him moving his hands away from his pecker. Kate stopped moving her hand too, but the look on her face was one of dissatisfaction or frustration. "Come on. Let's go out and get something to eat. I'm starving." After I said this, of course, it necessitated another long trip to the bathroom for both of the girls. I looked over at Bill, and he quickly looked away. "You kept your hands to yourself, Bill, that's what I wanted from you. I'm afraid that Kate was right when she said that girls mature faster than boys do. Both of them were playing with themselves without even worrying about us seeing them. Are you okay with what Jane and I did?" "I think so. All I saw you doing was kissing. Did I miss something?" "She did the same thing to herself that Kate was doing." "Really, I didn't see it?" She has that dress on, it isn't as noticeable as it would be if she were in jeans." "Do you still think the girls are too young?" "No, now I think that you and I are too young. I'm not sure that we can keep up with these two. In fact, I'm pretty sure I don't want to." "I sure don't feel that way, Larry. Today was one of the best days I've ever had. I'm glad we weren't alone with the girls though. Knowing that you were right here kept me from getting too carried away." "Well, if what I saw wasn't you carried away, I wouldn't want to see you if you were." Bill blushed then. "Not that I was too far behind you though. It's probably a good idea not to be alone with those two. It wouldn't be hard for us to get carried away." "Do your balls hurt?" "No, why?" "Mine do. Not as much as they did five minutes ago though. What do you want to eat?" "How about we got to Pepe's and get a pizza and a pitcher of vanilla Coke's?" "I'd rather just get regular Coke or cherry Coke." "You do realize, Bill, that we can't ever say anything to anyone about what we're doing? "Who would we tell? But, I see your point anyway. Maybe it's a good thing that these girls are our sisters. We all have a lot to lose if something goes wrong." "Nothing is going to go wrong, Bill. Today is as far as either one of us ever takes it." Bill nodded his head in total agreement. I'm sure that both of us knew we were lying, to each other and to ourselves. I knew, with a sure certainty, that, if Bill and Kate hadn't been around, it would have been my fingers rubbing Jane's pussy. Even then, ten minutes after we finished fooling around with the girls, my fingers tingled with the desire and anticipation of touching Jane in all of her secret places. In the back of my mind, I was very conscious of the fact that what I had already allowed to happen between Kate and Bill was far more than what I'd promised my parents to permit her. The seeds of conflict were already being sown within me. I wanted to do a lot more with Jane, but I couldn't do that without permitting Bill to do more with Kate. The girls came back, and the four of us went to Pepe's and ate pizza, along with a pitcher of root beer, which is what the girls had wanted. None of us mentioned one word about what we had been doing back at Bill and Jane's house. We spoke of lots of other things, but not about any of that. If I hadn't been there when it happened, I wouldn't have believed it. Maybe everyone thought that not talking about it was the same as it never having happened. Kate and Jane wanted us to take them to the movies, but both Bill and I refused. We all walked back to Bill's house and then Kate and I walked back home to ours. That night, my parents decided to go out with another Hungarian couple, and they left Kate and I at home. As soon as my parents had left, Kate came looking for me. "Well?" "Well, what?" "What do you think after today? Do you still think twelve year old girls are too young for boys?" Kate had a superior smirk on her face. I knew I had to dislodge it. "I think girls of any age are too young for boys if they can't control themselves. Especially girls who have to masturbate themselves right in front of their dates. I'm pretty sure that this isn't what mom and dad were expecting when I told them I'd be watching you. I'm not sure what you were thinking that made you believe it would be okay for you to do that." I could see that my words had their desired effect on her. Her grin had been replaced with a genuine look of concern. "You saw me?" "We all saw you. Bill, Jane, and I all watched you doing it." "Well, Jane did it too, she told me." "I know that. I could feel her doing it while I kissed her. In fact, as soon as the two of you left, Bill and I discussed it. We both decided that it had gone too far, and that we weren't going to be repeating it anytime soon." "What do you mean?" "What did I say? Bill and I discussed it, and we were both embarrassed by the way you girls carried on. If you can't show a lot better self control than that, we don't want to put ourselves in that kind of situation again." "Bill is dumping me again?" "I didn't say that. I think it's fair to say that your behavior embarrassed all of us today. We expected better self control from you. That was something that little kids might do, ones too young to know any better." "This isn't fair. Why can't you just tell me what you mean?" "I did, Kate. You just refuse to listen to what I'm saying. You acted very immature today. So did Jane. You can't walk around pretending to be all grown up, and then continue to act like a little kid. When I get turned on by something, you don't see me acting like you did today." "I saw Bill touching himself too." "Yes, but only when you had been playing with yourself for about ten minutes. A guy can only stand so much. I'm not blaming Bill for what happened. In fact, Jane only started doing it after she had watched you doing it for awhile." "So, it was only my fault?" "Kate, I don't want to place blame here. You acted inappropriately today. You know that. Suppose Bill and I had started out doing what you and Jane did, to ourselves, how would you have reacted?" "I'd have looked. In fact, I was hoping that Bill would take his out. I was curious about what it looks like. I've seen yours before, lots of times, but I haven't seen his yet." "What do you think mom's reaction would be if she heard what you just said? Sometimes, I wonder if you aren't a lot different than I thought you were. How many of your friends would say they wanted to see their boyfriend's pecker?" "Probably all of them would. Clara asks me all the time to tell her about the times I saw yours. She asks me to show her how big it is with my hands and wants me to tell her about every time I've ever seen it. She is especially interested in the time when I saw it all hard." "You've never seen me hard." "I did too. Once you were in your bedroom and your door was open just a crack. I walked by and you were looking at yourself in the mirror. It was funny. You were making it bounce up and down by tightening your stomach muscles." I remembered doing that a few times. I always thought my door was closed when I did it though. That was embarrassing. "Okay, so you saw it. It isn't any big deal." Kate giggled, and mumbled something under her breath. "What did you say?" "I said that that isn't what I tell my girlfriends about it." "I meant it wasn't that important that you saw me when it was hard. That's what isn't a big deal." "Oh. Have you ever seen Bill's before?" "Sure, but not when it was hard." "Whose is bigger?" "We never measured. What difference does that make to you anyway? This is the kind of stuff I was talking about when I told you that you were too young." "You boys don't talk about us the same way? You don't compare the size of a girl's bust, or talk about who has the cutest butt?" "We do talk about it, but we don't ask the girl's brother whether he ever saw his sister's naked boobs before, or how big they looked." Kate looked at me. For a minute I thought she was going to cry. She stamped her foot down instead, her way of expressing that she was mad. She then went off to her bedroom and slammed her own door. If my parents had been home, she'd have gotten in trouble for doing that. I went to my own room and flopped down on my bed, thinking about all the events that had taken place earlier. The one thing I was sure of was that Jane wasn't too young for me anymore. I wondered whether it would be possible to get Jane off somewhere by herself so that we could have some real privacy. I figured Bill would be pissed at me if he found out about it. I would be at him if it was Kate he took somewhere private. By the time my parents got home, I was tired of all the thinking I'd been doing. Life was a lot more complicated than it was even a month before. I knew that it was going to get even more complicated in the future too. ------- Chapter 8 What happened the very next day in school was totally unexpected. Bill came up to me before school started, telling me that he didn't want me trying to see Jane any more. He had been thinking the whole thing over, he said, and there was no way to avoid something really bad happening if the four of us continued on in the direction we were heading. I had been having similar thought myself. It was like my lust for Jane was putting my own sister's future in danger. What he told me next though, really surprised me. "Stay away from Eileen too." "Why should I do that?" "Because I'm telling you to, that's why." "Tell me a reason first." "I just don't want you going out with her. I like her." This was a shock, but, after I had a chance to think about it, there had been some signals that Bill liked Eileen in that way. It took me a minute to think about what he said though. He hadn't said a single word about where my sister fit in here. "Well, what about Kate? I thought you were all in love with her?" "I do like Kate a lot. Just not as much as Eileen." "What does Eileen think about that? About you liking her, and about you not wanting me to go with her?" "She likes me better, she told me so. She is the one that suggested I get you together with Jane. You better not go telling people about any of this either." "All right. You stay away from Kate, and I'll stay away from Jane. That's a fair trade. This thing with Eileen though, I'll talk to her about it. If she tells me to leave her alone, then I will." "Look, Larry, I don't want you even talking to her anymore. If you do, there's going to be trouble between us." "I'm not just going to take your word for it, Bill. If Eileen really likes you better, then we won't have any problem." "She would like me better if you'd just stay away from her." "So, you were just lying to me about Eileen suggesting Jane for me?" "No, she did. She thinks I'm overprotective of her. I was only lying about her liking me better than you. I like her a lot more than you do, Larry." "It doesn't matter, Bill. It matters who she likes better. Why don't we just agree about our sisters? We'll have to try to work something else out about Eileen. She'll probably decide to go out with someone else anyway. Then, neither of us will have her. What are we going to say to our sisters?" "I'll tell Jane that you think she's too young for you still. That's what she has been worrying about anyway. What are you going to say to Kate?" "I'll tell her that you were upset by that thing she did in front of everyone, rubbing herself. I'll tell her that you're looking for someone with better self control." He looked over at me. I could see that he hadn't gotten what he really wanted. I hadn't agreed to leave Eileen alone. Jane was his sister though, and he had been sincere in his worry for her. After a minute, he stuck out his hand, and we shook on it. To most people, the hand shake wouldn't make any sense, but to Bill and I, it meant that we'd made a binding agreement. I think that both of us wondered whether our friendship would survive this meeting. We separated, and went to our homerooms. It was in my first period class that I decided to make the big sacrifice. Since Eileen was the last remaining bone of contention standing between the two of us remaining friends, I would make the gesture of graciously stepping aside, allowing him a clear and open field with her. Denise Bowman helped me to arrive at my decision. Denise had just gotten her braces removed the week before, and now, she was a lot cuter than ever before. Mainly, this was because she now had a big, bright smile all the time. With her braces, she had been self conscious and hadn't smiled. Denise was having a birthday party in two weeks, and she had given me an invitation to it at the beginning of first period. She had also given me one of those nice new smiles of hers when she told me that she was really hoping I'd be able to come. Denise had really dark brown hair, and was about five three or so. She had breasts that were noticeable, but not very big yet. In the past three years, Denise had always treated me nice. Twice already this year, she had come up and just started talking to me. When you are young, first coming into that part of your life, where the opposite sex is attractive to you, the hardest thing is to get up the courage to approach someone you are interested in. In our school, it was common practice for a girl's friend to come up to the friend of the boy her friend was interested in, and tell him that her friend liked his friend. Sound complicated? It was. We used that method though because it worked. The boy's friend would tell him that such and such a girl liked him. If the boy was interested, he'd send word back with his friend that he liked the girl too. Right after that, it was expected that the boy would approach the girl directly. The big advantage here was that no one would have to be embarrassed if it turned out that it wasn't a mutual attraction. The girl could console herself with the belief that the boy hadn't ever gotten the message. Sometimes the girl wouldn't know that her friend had spoken to the boy's friend. It was the beginning of the concept of plausible denial that became so popular later in both politics and business. Having Denise approach me directly like she had was a sure indicator that she was interested in me. Call me fickle, but I had been awakened to the lure of girls. With my agreement to stay away from Jane, and my desire to keep Bill as a friend, I really needed to find myself a new girlfriend. Denise would do very nicely. I had always been more than a little afraid of Eileen's big city sophistication anyway. I was ready, even anxious, to give a home grown girl a chance at me. At lunchtime, I met Bill who had just finished his lunch period, and was heading to gym class. I stopped him and told him that I would step aside with Eileen. I told him that our friendship was more important than any girl to me. He seemed very relieved at my decision. I'm sure he was touched at my gesture. I didn't mention Denise's party to him, or the fact that I was going to try to take her out to a movie that weekend. After school, I walked home slowly, rehearsing in my mind just how I would break the news to Kate. I knew that Bill was important to her, and that, with her at least, it had been more than mere physical attraction. I wanted to tell her in a way that would let her down easy, and still convince her that Bill's decision was final, and absolute. When I got to my house, Kate was already there, with her friend Clara. The two of them were in Kate's room, all excited about something. I decided to wait until after Clara went home to break the news to Kate. I didn't want her friend to witness Kate's anguish. "Larry, go in the living room. Clara and I want you to tell us your opinion on something." I guess Kate had heard me come in the front door or something. I went from the kitchen to the living room, drinking from the milk bottle, and trying not to get any cookie crumbs on the floor. "Are you in the living room yet, Larry? Sit on the couch if you are. Tell us when you're ready." I finished off my cookies, wiped the mouth of the milk bottle with my shirtsleeve and ran to put it back in the refrigerator. Then, I went back to the living room and sat down on the sofa. "Ready." Out of the bedroom hallway step Kate and Clara. They were wearing identical outfits. Identical down to the black patent leather shoes and white socks. Clara was about five inches taller than Kate, and she was really thin. Kate was about five two or maybe five three. She wasn't thin. I don't mean she was fat, but she wasn't skinny either. Kate had fairly full hips and a narrow waist. Her boobs were just beginning to come in. Right then, they were mostly protruding nipples with a slight elevation. This was far more than Clara possessed though. The outfits consisted of full skirts in a maroon color and white tops with long sleeves. Even though they were very dissimilar in body type and shape, with these outfits they both were cuter. Standing next to each other made it even cuter. One thing I did notice was that you could see the girl's nipples and areolas right through the shirt. Kate's were a light pink color, and Clara's were a darker shade, possibly brown. Clara's areolas were also much larger. The first thing I thought of was that both of them had to be aware that their titties were showing. The next thing, was that they were both showing them to me on purpose. "Well, what do you think?" "I think you both need to wear something underneath your shirts. I can see everything you have on top." "Ready?" As soon as Kate asked that, she lifted up her skirt and so did Clara. Neither of them had a stitch of panties or anything else on underneath. Clara had lots of dark hair around her pussy, more than I had in my pubic area, but Kate didn't have that much. What she did have was so light, it didn't really cover anything. I got a good look at both of them, although there wasn't that much to really see, before they lowered their skirts again. Right after that, they both ran back to Kate's bedroom. I just sat there on the sofa, wondering what had possessed them to want to do that. Five minutes later, they came out dressed in jeans and regular tops. Clara had a sweater on over her top. Both girls looked embarrassed. "Show us your pecker now, Larry. We both showed you our stuff." It was Kate that spoke up. She was the leader, and poor Clara only followed her. "Okay, but let's wait for mom and dad to get home. That way it will be easier for me to explain it all to them." The look on Clara's face made all my teasing worth it. Kate wasn't buying it though. "He isn't going to tell on us Clara. If he did he'd have to tell on himself too. Come on Larry. Clara is dying to see it." "I might show it to Clara, Kate, but I won't show it to you." "Why not? I've seen it before, lots of times. You looked at me as much as you looked at her." "That's all I'll do, and I shouldn't even do that much. If Clara wants to see me, I'll show her alone, in my room. How about it Clara? Do you want to see my pecker?" Clara looked like she was having a hard time swallowing or something. She kept working her throat muscles. She stopped whatever she was trying to do and just nodded her head up and down twice. I stood up and walked back to my bedroom. Clara followed and so did my sister. When I got to my bedroom, both Clara and Kate came in. I sat down on my bed and then let my head down to my pillow and lifted my legs up on the bed. I waited. "Show us! Come on, Larry, mom and dad could be home any minute now." "Get out Kate, or else I'm not showing it to Clara." Seeing that I meant it, Kate went out and slammed my door on her way. I jumped off of my bed and went over and locked the door. I knew that Kate wouldn't be giving up that easily. I turned back to Clara so that we were about three feet apart. "Do you really want to see it, Clara?" "Yes!" She almost hissed the word, it came out with such force. I put my hand down on my zipper and lowered it slowly. I reached my hand in, but my dick was too hard to get it out that way. I unbuttoned the waist button and lowered my jeans down to my knees. I looked into Clara's eyes to see if she had changed her mind. My dick was making a strong indentation on my underwear. The head was poking over by the waistband over my left leg. "Would you like to pull it out yourself, or do you want me to do it?" "You." I reached up to the waistband with both hands, and pulled my underpants down. My dick flopped out and bobbed up and down a little. I was as hard as I ever remember being. I heard the door knob behind me being rattled and then Kate was pounding angrily on my door. Clara looked at my dick. It would bob up and down with every breath I took. I looked down to see what she was seeing. If I was a young girl, looking at my first hard dick, I think I would have been impressed. I had never measured it, but I could wrap both hands around it and there was still quite a bit left over. Well, some left over. I didn't have small hands either. "Wow, it is really big, Larry!" Sweet vindication! I mean, I always knew it was at least a little better than normal, but it was nice to see someone else impressed with it too. Another thing, it wasn't skinny like a few others that I'd seen. Tommy Lampkin had a real skinny dick. I remember him getting into a fight at the swimming hole after two guys made comments about it. I wasn't ever going to be tall, but, at least I didn't have a small or skinny dick. I decided to put on a little show for Clara, so I swung it from side to side, and then I made it rise and fall, using only my stomach muscles. "You might as well touch it Clara. It might be the only chance you'll ever get to touch mine." I really wanted her to touch it. In fact, I was aching for her to touch it. When she hesitated, I moved in a little closer. I stopped when the head of it was only about an inch away from her jeans. she reached out with one hand and touched it with only her index finger. She withdrew her finger like it had been burned. I moved forward until the head of my dick was pressed against her jeans zipper. I could barely manage to breathe myself. I leaned forward and backward a few times, bouncing my dick off of her jeans. She just stood there. "I'm getting ready to put it away, Clara. Last chance if you want to hold on to it." I bumped into her crotch area harder with my dick, and then watched her take my dick in her hand. She rubbed up and down on the shaft until she got to the head and felt the palm of her hand getting wet. My dick was leaking some lubricant, and it got onto the heel of her hand. She pulled her hand away and looked at the wetness on it. She then stepped back, away from me. I quickly pulled up my underpants, and then my jeans. When I was again fully dressed, I moved over closer to Clara. "You felt mine, now I want to feel yours." I cupped my hand between her legs, pressing my hand in, then rubbing it up and down just like Eileen had shown me. I only did it for a few seconds, and I could see that it was upsetting Clara, so I stopped. "Okay, now we're all even. Thank you." I reached behind me and unlocked the door. Kate was standing there with her ear pressed against the door. Clara ran right past me, and into Kate's bedroom. Kate stuck out her tongue at me, before turning and running after her friend. The two girls stayed in Kate's room for another half an hour. I could hear them in there, talking, laughing, screaming, and just having a great time with what they were talking about, me. I didn't mind it a bit. They had come to me, and I had just gone along further than Clara had expected. I was pretty sure that Clara was describing everything in complete detail for Kate. My parents came home together, early for my father, late for my mother. As soon as we heard them, Clara and Kate came out of the bedroom and Clara took off for her house. Kate went into the kitchen to help my mom with dinner. My father came to my bedroom and knocked on my door. At first, I was flustered, thinking that Kate might have said something to my parents about the stunt I'd just pulled. Instead, my father wanted to ask me questions about how things were going with Kate and I over the chaperoning commitment that I'd made. I told him that things were going well, so far, and that Kate seemed content to obey the limits that I had set for her. He seemed happy with my report. I briefly wondered what his reaction would be if I had simply told him the unvarnished truth. At dinner, Kate kept looking at me. It wasn't that obvious to my parents, but it was very obvious to me. I would look up and see her staring at me. Finally, I just asked her what she was staring at. "I'm looking at you, trying to see what it is that has Jane and Clara so excited." "Katinka, that isn't a nice way to speak to your brother. Of course, he is handsome." My mother smiled over at me. "All Hungarian men are handsome. All Hungarian women are beautiful." My father had never met a Hungarian who wasn't perfect in all things. At least, that's how he made it sound to other non Hungarian's or to his children. To listen to him, every major invention came from Hungary, including the hydrogen bomb, the automobile and the submarine. He claimed that the first submarine crossed the Danube River in the fifteenth century. In spite of his love of all things Hungarian, he was terribly proud to be a naturalized American, and he never returned to Hungary after he left it to come here. My mother told me, that, when he was in a room full of Hungarians, he spoke of all things American the same way he spoke to us about Hungary. After dinner, Kate and I cleaned off the dining table and took care of the dishes. While we were working in the kitchen, Kate kept up with a running commentary about how mean I had been to exclude her from my bedroom. She said, since it had been her idea in the first place, that I owed it to her to have let her see it too. This seemed like a good time to tell her about the agreement that Bill and I had reached. I told her that Bill and I were worried about all of us getting carried away. He didn't want that for his sister, and I didn't want that for mine. She asked me who had the idea first, Bill or me? I told her that Bill had first brought it up, telling me that he didn't want me going out with Jane. "I talked with Jane today in school. She told me that Bill had told her that he didn't want you seeing her anymore. He also told her that he didn't want to go out with me anymore. Jane is hoping that you will want to keep going out with her. I already told her that you probably wouldn't want to stop being friends with Bill over it. Clara was there today too, when Jane and I were talking. She wants to be your new girlfriend. She wants it so bad, she can hardly stand it. Clara really has a thing for you, Larry. Really bad. She told me everything you two did in there today, everything. She wants to come back here tomorrow and go back into your bedroom again. "Tell her she can't. I told her today that it would probably be her only chance to see it and touch it. I'm thinking about going out with Denise Bowman." "You can't mean it! Denise with those big, ugly braces. How would you be able to kiss her? Your tongue would get cuts all over it." "She just got her braces removed. She is looking very nice now. She was kind of cute even before, but now, when she smiles, she's gorgeous." "What about Eileen?" "What about her?" "I thought you liked her?" "I do. I don't think she'd make that good of a girlfriend though. She is pretty wild, big city wild." "Is Bill dumping me going to have a bad effect on our deal, Larry? I know you trusted him more than most boys, because you knew him, but that doesn't mean I'm going to have to stay at home until I'm fourteen does it?" "No, Kate, it doesn't mean that at all. In fact, I'm so impressed with how mature you're being about Bill that I feel like taking you to the movies sometime this weekend. You have to find a boy that wants to take you, and I'll be your chaperon. I expect that I'll be taking Denise as my date, but if something happens to her, or she turns me down, we'll take Clara with us too. If she wants to go." "She'll want to go, I'm sure of that. I won't say anything to her unless you tell me that Denise can't come. Well, that just leaves one more thing, Larry." "What's that?" "You know." "No, I don't know. What is left?" "Your pecker, that's what. You shouldn't have made me get out of your bedroom. I showed you just as much as Clara did. We both expected to get a look at your pecker. Only Clara got a look, not me." "Kate, you've already seen it lots of times. You said that yourself. Clara had never seen it." "If you don't show me, I'll get a boy from school to let me see and touch his. I know several who would like doing that." "I know several who would too. If you do that though, our deal is off. Another thing about me showing Clara, she isn't my relative. I'm not going to allow you to blackmail me into doing anything. If you keep trying, you'll be sorry for it." "I knew you were going to say that. You are very predictable, Larry. I wasn't going to let just any boy show his pecker to me anyway. I just feel safer with you. If you would rather I be ignorant though, I guess I'll just have to accept that. Clara said you squirted your juice on her hand. She must have gotten you pretty excited." "Tell Clara that was just a little lubrication. Tell her if I had squirted on her hand, she would be able to tell. It would be a lot more than one or two drops." ------- Chapter 9 The next day in school I had a hard time getting up my nerve to ask Denise to a movie for Friday night. She was in two classes with me, plus we had the same lunch period. I saw a lot of her, but I never could work up the nerve to approach her. After school let out, I waited for her three blocks away from the school. I knew where she lived. Her younger sister was in dance classes with my mom, and we'd given her rides home from recitals and things like that. I only had to wait for about five minutes before Denise came into sight. Unfortunately, Karen Gless was with her. Karen and I had something of a history together. In sixth grade, she and I had gotten into a fight over some answer to an Elvis Presley question. I had the record in question, and so, I knew I was right. Elvis had made a single of 'Teddy Bear' earlier in the year, and the flip side was his first released recording of 'Loving You'. Karen insisted that 'Loving You' had first been released in the album of that same name. She wound up slapping me in the face because I called her a fat idiot. She was lucky that my parents had both conditioned me to never hit a female. She and I hadn't spoken five words to each other since that incident. Now, three years later, if there was anyone I didn't want around when I asked Denise for a date, it was Karen Gless. Denise gave me a real big smile when she recognized me standing there waiting for her. She probably knew where I lived too, so she had to assume that I was there just so that I could see her. She crossed the street, heading towards me. I noticed that Karen held back a little. At least she was going to allow Denise and I a little moment of privacy. "Hi, Larry. Were you waiting for me?" "Hi, Denise. Yeah, I was. I wanted to talk to you in school today, but there was always all kinds of people around. I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the movies with me on Friday night?" Just as I got through asking her, Karen started coming right towards us. "I wish I could, Larry, really. My parents won't let me date until I'm fifteen though, sorry." "Fifteen? How come so old?" "That's the rule. My brother and sister didn't start before then and Trudie and I have to wait too. It isn't that much longer though." "A whole other year." "No, I'm turning fifteen next week. Did you think I was thirteen still?" "I guess, I mean I never really thought about it. So you're almost fifteen then?" "Yes, how old are you?" "I'm fourteen. My birthday is right near the cut off date for school. I just made it into Kindergarten right before I turned five. I guess that means you're older than I am then." "I guess. I still would like to go to the movies with you though, if I could. You still want to come to my party don't you?" "Sure, I'm looking forward to it. The invitation says there will be dancing." "Yes, my parents added on to our house and we have a big rumpus room in the back now. That's where we are having the party." "Hi, Larry. You're coming to Denise's birthday party too?" I thought Karen was going to say something to try to shoot me down with Denise. Like I said, we had this history. "Hi, Karen. Yep, I'll be there. You're coming too then, I guess?" Denise spoke up then. "I know you two had a problem, but that was a long time ago. Can't you both forget it? You know, Karen, I told you that I want Larry to come to my party." "I know, Denny, and I have no problem anymore with Larry. Larry I'm sorry that I slapped you. I found out later that I was wrong, and you were right." "I accept your apology Karen, I'm sorry I called you an idiot." "A big, fat, idiot." "Really? If I was going to call you an idiot now, I sure wouldn't call you big or fat." She smiled. She had a nice smile too. "Karen, Larry asked me to the movies for Friday, but I had to say no because of my parents no dating rule. Maybe he could take you instead?" They both looked over at me, expectantly. Never, not in my wildest imaginings, had I ever thought I'd ask Karen for a date. "Have you seen 'The Magnificent Seven' yet Karen?" I wouldn't have been surprised if she had laughed in my face, or slapped it again. "Friday? I haven't seen the movie, but I heard it was really good. I'd have to talk to my parents to get their permission. Can you call me at home after six thirty tonight, and I'll let you know for sure? I can't wait to see my mother's face when I tell her that you asked me out. I mean, you don't have to ask me just because of Denise saying you should." "No, if Denise hadn't suggested it, I might have asked you anyway. Since we had already made up and all from our elementary school fight." She gave me her phone number, and I wrote it on the cover of my History book. I told her that I'd give her a call after six thirty. I knew that Karen was the same age as I was. Exactly the same, since we had the same birth date. Before our fight, we had hung around together some because we had some of the same friends. Karen used to be plump in the sixth grade. Over the years though, she had redistributed the weight and now had a good figure. Even when I didn't like her, I still had to acknowledge that she had a fine set of boobs and a great butt when the guys were talking about girls in our classes. Karen's boobs weren't always mentioned, but I don't remember a single conversation about who had the best ass in class, where she didn't get mentioned. She was a good looking girl. I hoped that she could go out with me on Friday. I was halfway home before I remembered that I had told Kate that I'd chaperon her and her date on Friday. I hadn't mentioned that to Denise or Karen. When I got home, Kate and Clara were both there, sitting at the dining table doing their homework. I could also tell that they were waiting for me. Kate couldn't seem to just take what I told her at face value. I went into the kitchen and made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I also made some chocolate milk. I was walking through the living room when Kate called me over to them. "Larry, tell Clara what you told me last night." "About what?" "About yesterday being one time only for Clara to see it and play with you." "Yes, that's what I told her when we were in my room." I turned again to go to my room. I heard Clara whispering something to Kate. Kate laughed, and I heard Clara whispering some more. I made it to my room and closed and locked my door. Within two minutes I heard a tapping on my door. I knew it wasn't Kate. She would have either banged on it or else shouted at me through it. "Can I come in, Larry?" I got up and unlocked the door. When I opened it up, Clara was all alone. That surprised me. I stepped back and made a sweeping enter motion with my arm. Once she came in, she closed and locked the door behind her. "Kate promised not to bother us today, Larry. I want to see you again. Yesterday I was too nervous to get a good look at it." "I don't know, Clara. I already told you that I wasn't going to repeat this for you. What will you give me?" "I'll let you see me again if you want to." "I saw you yesterday, and, with girls, all the good stuff is hidden. Mostly what I saw was just your hair down there. You got the better show yesterday." "I'll let you touch me too. If you let me see and touch you, I'll let you play with mine too." I was already pretty sure that I was going to take this deal. I only needed to make sure we both understood what each expected from the other. Kate had told me that Clara had feelings for me. Boyfriend, girlfriend feelings. I didn't think of her that way. To me, she was Kate's friend, my sometimes dance partner, and someone that I got along with pretty well. I liked her enough to not want to hurt her. My dick though, it didn't care about any of these niceties. All it cared about was having a different set of hands on it. Although my hormones had gotten a late start kicking in, all of my recent activity had put them into overdrive. "Clara, I need to tell you something first. I like you, but not as a girlfriend. I enjoyed what we did yesterday, a lot, but it isn't something that would make me want to be your boyfriend. If you are just curious, and want to fool around a little just to get an idea about it, then we can make a deal here. If you think that playing with your cunny is going to make me suddenly fall in love with you, well, it isn't." "I know that, Larry. I've seen how you hardly ever take notice of me now. Someday, I'm going to get my body to bloom. Have you seen my mother? That's what my body is going to look like someday, Larry." I had seen her mother, plenty of times. Mrs. Townsend was stacked, no, make that STACKED. I had noticed that many times. I remember wondering what had happened to Clara. She was totally flat, and you could see every one of her ribs. I was surprised yesterday when I saw how big her areolas were. They were the size of a half dollar at least. If she was right in her prediction about future development, she was going to be a real catch someday. "So, what is it you're saying? Do you still want to play with my dick while I touch your naked cunny? It's okay if you don't, I'll understand. If you do want to though, I'd like to touch you too." For an answer, Clara started undressing. She took off her shoes, then her jeans, and finally, her panties. I had some difficulty unlacing my sneakers, but after that, the rest was a breeze. We both stood in the middle of my bedroom, naked from the waist down. I walked over closer to her and took her hand and put it on my dick. As soon as I felt her touch, my dick jumped a little. I moved in even closer and started touching her pubic bush. I ran my fingers through it. All those dark, curly hairs felt good as my fingers plowed a soft furrow through them. While I did this, Clara moved in closer and started kissing me. Somehow, kissing seemed more intimate than what we had been doing. Soon we were French kissing. Clara had the warmest mouth and breath. Her tongue was much smaller than mine, and she liked to run it over my teeth and the roof of my mouth. I got my concentration back enough to begin moving my hand further down the split of her legs. I had never felt a naked pussy before. Clara's seemed damp to me, like she hadn't dried herself after taking a shower. I felt her hand coming down to touch mine, and she took one of my fingers and moved it over to her clit. At the time, I had no idea that this was the clitoris that we had read about in health class. She guided my finger down to where it was wetter, and then brought it back up to her clit, she moved my finger around a little bit, and then brought it back down again. All the time she did this, her other hand was on my dick and she was rubbing my cock head across her stomach. I could feel my pre cum oozing out on her stomach. It felt pretty neat. It was on one of these trips down to gather moisture that my finger accidentally slipped into her pussy. She definitely had no hymen. I would bet everything I owned that Clara was a nice girl, a virgin, but my finger slipped up inside her, past the second knuckle. She started kissing me even more feverishly and when I took my finger out of her pussy and rubbed the moisture over her clit, she gave a little moan and shudder. She now had both hands on my dick and was trying to bring it down to where my hand was diddling her pussy. I wondered if this meant that she wanted me to screw her? I almost said something, but then, I decided not to. Everything was going a lot better than I thought it would. I continued kissing, diddling and allowing her to try to get my dick closer to her pussy. She stopped me, and then moved over to my bed. I thought she was going to lay on it. Instead, she lifted her left leg and put it on the bed, and beckoned me with her hands to come close again. When I was close enough, she took the head of my dick and started to rub it against her clit. I just stood there watching her. This went on for a good five minutes. Then, without any warning or anything, she stopped what she was doing, and starting gathering her clothes together. When she had all of them, she unlocked my door and ran over to Kate's bedroom. I heard Kate's door open and then slam shut. After a minute had passed, I grabbed my dick and went to town on it. It took about a minute before I came. When I did though, it spurted all over my room. It was definitely the most I'd ever cum before, about seven very gooey, stringy, spurts. After I was finished, I collapsed upon my bed. It took me at least ten minutes to get the strength to take my old sock and clean up all of the mess I'd made. I just hoped that I'd gotten it all. My nerves were all jagged after that, and for some reason, I felt almost like I was going to cry. It had been intense. I got myself dressed, and then, I tried to get my brain working, so that I could remember what homework I still had left to do. It took me almost an hour to remember everything I needed to get done. I wondered why my dick shooting out it's cum had affected my brain and my nervous system so much. Later, at dinner, Kate had a big smirk on her face. Somehow, she had scored what had happened in my room today, as a victory for her side. If she wanted to keep score that way, who was I to argue against it with her? I was pretty happy with the way it had all turned out. I hoped that Clara was happy with it too. At about seven o'clock, I remembered that I needed to call Karen Gless. I ran to get her phone number off of my History book. When Kate saw me calling someone, she got really curious about who it could be. The phone started ringing. "Hello? May I speak with Karen please?" "Yes, can I tell her who's calling?" It was an older woman's voice. I assumed it was Karen's mother. "Yes, tell her it's Larry, from school." "Just a minute, Larry." "Hello?" "Hi, Karen, it's Larry. I was calling to see if you can go to the movies with me on Friday, or not." "Yes, I can. Do you want to pick me up here, or meet me at the theater?" "Which would you prefer?" "I'd prefer if you came here to get me." "Okay, then that's what I'll do. How about six thirty? The movie starts at seven." "Good. I'll see you in school tomorrow then. Thanks for asking me, Larry." "Okay, I'll see you then, good night." After I hung up the phone, I remembered that I still hadn't said anything to Karen about doubling with Kate and her date, if she had one. "So, did you get a date, Larry?" Kate startled me. She was right behind me. "Sure did, how about you?" "Not yet, but I'm working on it. Who are you taking?" "You'll never guess, not in a hundred years." "Not Denise Bowman then?" "No, she can't date until she's fifteen." "I give up then who?" "Karen Gless." "I don't know her." "Oh yes you do. You were in the fourth grade when this girl slapped me in the face, remember?" "Sort of. It was a chubby girl with blond hair in ringlets. You had called her a bad name or something?" "Yes, that's the girl I have the date with. Karen Gless." "Clara isn't going to like this. Especially after today." "I told her that today wasn't going to make any difference as far as my feelings went. She said she understood that." "You know something, Larry? Sometimes you can be so stupid." ------- Chapter 10 On Thursday, Kate asked me if I could chaperon her to the matinee on Saturday with her date. I told her that I was already set for Friday night. She told me that her date wasn't allowed to go on dates, but he was going to the matinee on Saturday morning and she had agreed to meet him there. Her date was also twelve years old, and was in her class at the junior high. Since this solved my problem with explaining the need for bringing Kate with me on the date with Karen, I reluctantly agreed to do it. Poor Bill was down in the dumps about Eileen. She had shot down his attempt to be her boyfriend in no uncertain terms, leaving him alone and embarrassed. He even had the gall to ask me if the deal we had concerning our sisters was still valid. He thought that now that Eileen was out of the picture, the deal should be reevaluated. I told him that Kate had already moved on, and so had I. I was pretty sure that Kate was over Bill. She hadn't mentioned him since the day I broke the news to her about the agreement that Bill and I had worked out. Everyday since we had made our movie date, Karen had stopped me sometime during the school day to say hello, and to make some sort of conversation with me. I had spoken to her more in the past few days than the whole three years of our not being on good terms. Denise spoke to me a lot more too. She asked me to dance with her the first dance at her party. I told her that I'd be happy to. I'd have to say that both girls were flirting with me. Denise gave me her telephone number on Thursday, and asked me to call her Saturday morning, to let her know how things went at the movie on Friday night. Friday night, I got to Karen's house a little before six thirty. Karen made me come in to say hello to her parents. Her father made a few jokes about me being the main topic of conversation at their dinner table all this week. He said that I was wise in not picking the new Elvis movie to go see. Karen's mother was nice, and she smiled at me a lot while her husband was teasing Karen and I. We left a little bit after six thirty, walking over to the movie theater. Neither of us had seen the Magnificent Seven before, and both of us liked the movie. I bought two popcorns and two sodas before the movie started. I finished mine before Karen finished hers, mostly because I wanted to get my hands free for other things. Karen was wearing a skirt and a sweater, and when we came into the theater, she walked a little ahead of me and headed straight for the balcony. The balcony is where couples went to make out at the movies. If a girl didn't want to be kissed or anything, she sat down on the main floor. I hadn't even thought of trying to get her to go up in the balcony on our first date. When she started up there, I just followed after her. "I've always wanted to watch a movie from up here, but I never did before. You wouldn't believe some of the stories I've heard about what people do up here." "I've probably heard the same stories. One of the stories I heard was that Terry Ploughman got pregnant in the very back of the balcony last year." "Really? I hadn't heard that one. Cindy Barnes was up here last Saturday night, and she had to wear makeup all week to hide the hickey's on her neck. She didn't dress out for gym class all week either. You know what that probably means?" No, I didn't. So I shook my head from side to side. "She probably has hickeys in other places too. That's why she couldn't get undressed in the locker room." "Well, don't put any hickey's on me, my mother would kill me." I said it as a joke. I figured at the time that she had come up here with me out of curiosity and from wanting to see who else was up here. The balcony was filling up fast, and the people who came up from our school were mostly established couples. People who had been going together for awhile. "I'll try to be careful, but no promises." My dick gave a lurch. I wondered if she was just joking back or what? That was when I started slurping down my drink, and eating my popcorn by the handfuls. Like I said, I wanted my hands free, just in case she wasn't kidding. "You know, Larry, I really meant it when I apologized to you the other day. I've felt bad about that day almost since it first happened. Every time I wanted to come over and apologize, you'd look at me so mean that I'd lose my nerve. I wanted to end our fighting this whole time." "Well, since we're up here in the balcony anyway, maybe we should kiss and make up." Again with the serious, hopeful attempt which could be taken as a joke. "I'd like that. Denise won't like it though." "Why not? She's the one who suggested this." "I think that was only because she figured that we wouldn't get along very well. She has a major crush on you. Maybe I shouldn't have told you that though. Don't mention to Denise that I told you that, okay?" Just then, the lights turned down, and the newsreel came on. It was like night and day the change that took place up in the balcony. As soon as it got dark, most of the couples went into a clinch. Karen and I spent the first ten minutes paying more attention to the couples around us, than we did to each other, or the movie. By the time the cartoon finished, you could hear several girls already moaning. Karen put her drink and popcorn down on the floor under her seat and turned to me. "Time to kiss and make up?" I had just started in watching the movie, but I knew an opportunity when one was presented to me. Our first kiss was tentative, neither of us sure enough about the other to put any real feeling into it. It was only the beginning though. We broke the kiss, and both of us were smiling. We continued to watch the goings on in the balcony, and by the time they switched over to the second reel, the whole balcony was starting to smell like aroused woman. I had only smelled it once or twice, and never in this large of an area. There were couples now in full make out sessions. The couple just to the left of Karen were noisier than most, and the guy had his hand up under her skirt. You could hear the squishing sounds as he finger banged her, and she was moving her hips all around on her seat and making a lot of noise that their kissing didn't muffle enough. I hoped that Karen wasn't going to ask me to take her back downstairs to the main floor. Our own kissing had gotten a lot better, and we had been French kissing for the past few times. I was trying to get my nerve up to touch her breast. I already had put my hand right in the middle of her stomach, and she hadn't removed it. I left it there even during the times that we stopped kissing. I had been hard since before the lights went out, over an hour before. I had grazed the back of my hand across it a few times, and had adjusted it once when Karen had opened her purse to get a tissue out. The next time we kissed, I reached my hand up and slid it over her boob. She grabbed my hand and moved it back to her stomach. She hadn't hesitated much, but she had hesitated before removing it. The couple next to us weren't hesitating about anything. She had her hand on his crotch and was squeezing him. He continued playing with her pussy. I noticed that Karen was looking right at the woman's hand in the guys lap. There was no way that she didn't know what the girl was doing to the guy. We started kissing again, and I noticed that Karen's breath was getting warmer, and her lips felt warmer too. According to the things other guys had told me, this meant she was getting hot. Again I reached up and felt her breast. Again, she took my hand and put it back down, but this time, she dropped it right in her lap, rather than putting it back on her stomach. I didn't really know what to make of this. I left my hand right where she had put it though. My little finger was right in the juncture of her legs. I'd say my fingernail was within an inch of her pussy. We kept kissing, and I felt her shift in her seat a tiny bit. My little finger and the one right next to it, my ring finger, slid further into the gap she had created. Then, she shut her legs, and my two fingers were trapped there. I didn't try to wiggle them or move them in any way. She did something with her hips, a sort of tilting forward that put greater pressure on her mound from those two trapped fingers. We stayed just like that for about a minute, and then she tilted back to the way she had been at first. She relaxed her legs a little and then took my hand and replaced it on her stomach. I had kind of lost my concentration over the past few minutes. I wasn't really sure about what had just happened. Did she let me play with her pussy or not? Since she didn't let me feel her breast hardly at all, logic dictated that she hadn't let me play with her pussy either. Still, something had happened when she put my hand on her lap. I could have sworn that I felt something with my two fingers. I went back to kissing her and tried one last time to feel her breast. This time, she allowed it for a few more seconds than before, but when she took my hand away this time, she moved it over to my lap. I definitely felt the back part of her hand sliding across my dick. She was copping a feel from me! She let my hand loose, and dragged her hand back across my boner again as she returned it to her own lap. That was the end of everything for the rest of the movie. The couple next to us had quieted down too. It was funny watching them sit back so that they were facing the screen, and try to adjust themselves without anyone noticing them. There was a brightness in the balcony from the projector switching to a bright day light scene in the film, and I noticed a huge wet spot on the guys khaki trousers. He had cum in his pants. I wondered if that was why they quit. He looked down at himself, and quickly moved his hands to cover up the spot. As soon as the movie was over, there was a mad scrambling up there in the balcony. When the lights came back up, girls were still trying to refasten their bras and straighten out their skirts. By this time, the smell of sex and arousal was very strong throughout the balcony. I wondered how many of the people up there in the balcony with us had cum. A lot of them seemed in a big hurry to get out of the balcony, now that the lights were up and we could all see each other again. I thought it was possible that Karen and I were the youngest couple in the balcony section. It had been an unexpected but interesting experience, one I definitely planned on repeating soon. I looked over at Karen, and she had been looking around just like I had. She had to notice that almost a third of the girls had taken off their Bras and probably put them into their purses. There were a lot of jiggling titties on display inside their blouses. A lot of women had their arms folded across their chests, but a few didn't bother trying to cover up. Karen and I smiled at each other some more, and I took her hand while we waited for our row to clear out in front of us. "Did you like the movie, Larry?" "The parts that I saw of it were good. It's a lot harder to concentrate on the movie up here." "Yes. It was very interesting though. Don't you think?" "I was sure interested. I didn't know so much went on up here. Now I can believe that a girl can get pregnant up here." When I said that, the couple next to Karen both gave me a dirty look. I looked down at the guys lap deliberately, and then held my stare, waiting until he turned away from me. If Karen noticed any of this, she didn't comment on it. It took us five minutes to make our way out of the theater. We held hands the whole time. It was getting cold outside, but after walking for a couple minutes, our bodies warmed up, and we were adjusted to it. As soon as we turned off the main drag, the street lights ended. There was some light reflected from the windows of houses along our way, but it was still pretty dark out. Karen and I stopped frequently along the way to do some more kissing. I even tried to put my hand up under her sweater, but she complained that my hand was too cold. When we came to her house, I walked up to her front steps with her. We both said our thank yous and good nights, and I didn't try to kiss her one last time. I thought it might embarrass her to be kissed in front of her door, just in case her parents were watching. I didn't think to ask her for another date. I guess I planned on waiting for a few days before asking her out again. Saturday morning, at ten thirty, I called Denise. We talked about how Karen and I had gotten along. I told her only that I had enjoyed the movie, and that Karen had been very nice. That was when she informed me that Karen was sitting right next to her. After that, our conversation consisted of Denise teasing the two of us about the balcony, and trying to get us to admit that we'd made out while up there. I told Denise that a gentleman never discusses his dates with anyone. She laughed, and then she told me that Karen didn't believe in any of that, and was sure to tell her everything that went on with me on our date. I told her that I was looking forward to taking her up on the balcony so she could find out for herself, firsthand. We said our goodbyes. I didn't ask to speak with Karen, mostly because I wasn't sure what the correct protocol might be when calling one girl when another girl you knew was also present. At eleven Clara came to our house. My mother let her in and she waved to me when she went back to Kate's bedroom. I waved back to her, not thinking anything more about it. Ten minutes later, Clara and Kate came out, both dressed in the outfits they had modelled for me that day. This time, both had some kind of undershirt underneath it so that their nipples and areolas didn't show through. That is when Kate dropped her little surprise on me. "We're ready, Larry." I just looked at her. She was smirking at me again. I knew as soon as she said it that she had deliberately waited for me to have a date on Friday before switching her own date to Saturday. I also remembered telling her that I'd take Clara if my own date fell through. It wasn't any big deal to me though. What could take place in a public movie theater at twelve thirty in the early afternoon? Afterwards, I'd remember having asked myself that question. The answer wasn't at all what I had expected when I asked it. ------- Chapter 11 "You aren't mad at us are you, Larry?" Clara was walking on my right while Kate was on my left. Clara looked so anxious that I wanted to reassure her. "Why would I be mad? With you along, maybe Kate will try to act more like a lady." Kate stuck her tongue out at me and did a little shimmy like dance, waving her ass and her nearly nonexistent breasts all around. Since we were in the middle of an intersection, that little dance was observed by at least three people sitting in the car waiting for us to cross. One thing you could say about Kate, she wasn't shy anymore. I just smiled. I didn't want to say anything that might encourage more of that. When we got to the movie, I bought three tickets. Two adults and a child ticket. The guy who took the tickets didn't make any comment. When we were inside, I handed Kate the children's ticket stub. She looked at it and got a flushed face. We waited inside for Kate's 'date' to show up. He never did show up, so we went inside the theater and found seats way over on the left side in the back. Since it was a matinee, most of the kids sat down in front. The balcony was closed for matinee's. When the lights went down, and the first cartoon came on, I looked around and there wasn't anyone sitting within twenty feet of us. We had the three seats next to the wall, and there was no one even in our row or the five rows in front of us. Since we were in the back row, there was no one behind us either. I started wondering about whether Kate had been even more devious than I suspected her of being earlier. Clara was the first to start in with me. It was right after the first feature film started, a western with Randolph Scott. She reached over and started running her fingers over my upper thigh. I took her hand and held it in my own. It was like we were just holding hands. A minute later, she used her other hand to start up with me again. I took that hand and added it to the first one in my right hand. I heard both Clara and Kate giggle. That's when I felt Kate's hand reach over and grab hold of my dick. "Kate, stop that right now!" I grabbed her hand and pulled it away from me. I was surprised, embarrassed and angry. I was also more than a little aroused. I stood up and changed seats with Clara, forcing her to get up, and then shoving her butt down in my vacated seat. I was rather proud of myself for coming up with such a simple, yet elegant, solution. This lasted all of three minutes, until Kate grabbed Clara and the two of them started kissing each other. In less than a minute, Kate had snaked her hand up under Clara's skirt and was playing with her pussy. Clara was embarrassed to see me there, staring at the two of them. Embarrassed or not, she didn't try to stop Kate. In fact, after a few more seconds, she opened her legs and moved her butt a little bit forward to give Kate freer access to her. She next took my hand, and put it on her chest. She may have been totally flat chested, but her nipples were as hard as little pebbles and were raised up about half an inch. She held my hand to her chest and groaned when I gave her nipple a little pinch. I think I was operating on some kind of autopilot, it was just so bizarre and unexpected. I sat there watching my little sister fingering her best friend. I could easily smell that both girls were aroused. Kate took out her hand and looked at me, and then she started licking Clara's juices off of her fingers. Slowly and deliberately, like she was getting pleasure watching me squirm around as I watched her. I'd never seen anything so depraved before, nothing that even came close. As if to show me that records were made to be broken, Kate slipped down to the floor right in front of Clara's seat, sticking her head under Clara's skirt. I could see her head moving and heard Clara's sharp intake of breath when Kate started licking her. All the while this is happening, I'm playing with both of Clara's nipples, one at a time. Kate only stayed down there under Clara's skirt like that for about five minutes. When she got back up and sat in her own seat, her face was all wet with Clara's juices. I watched Clara lean over and lick Kate's face clean. They wound up kissing again for another five minutes. I kept my hands to myself while they did that. The rest of the twin feature, the girls behaved themselves. Neither of them said a word to me. I didn't put my hands back on Clara's nipples, although I'm sure she wouldn't have minded if I did. It was actually more erotic for me playing with her two nipples when I knew there wasn't anything else there beneath them. I had enjoyed it a lot. I spent most of my time in that darkened theater trying to decide what to do about this new situation. Kate and Clara were both obviously way ahead of me when it came to experience. No wonder they spent so much time in each other's company. When I thought of all the times that the two of them had spent together on sleepovers, my imagination just went wild. I tried to remember all the other girls that had slept over with Kate, and sometimes, with Clara as well. At least half of the girls in my mother's dance classes had slept over at our house for slumber parties. I had heard all of them yelling and laughing in Kate's room for the past two years or more. Kate had gone off for slumber parties at other girls houses too. As soon as the movies were over, I got up and walked out of the theater. I waited outside for Clara and Kate to come out. When they did, I turned and started walking towards our house. Kate and Clara hurried after me to catch up. "Are you ashamed of us, Larry?" For the first time, Kate looked vulnerable when she asked me that question. I knew that Kate loved me as much as I loved her. It mattered a lot what I thought about her. She had given me an unmistakable glimpse into the most private part of her life. If I reacted to it badly, she knew she would soon be on a plane to Hungary. Perhaps, permanently removed from this part of our family. The reason why my Aunt Agnes was living here in America was she had an affair with a married man back in Hungary. My Grandfather had gotten so angry with her over this that he had banished her from the family. Cast out of her family, Aunt Agnes had illegally crossed the Hungarian border into Austria, and had then made contact with my parents through the Red Cross. My mother and father sponsored her to come to America. She had spent seven months in a refugee camp in Austria before being allowed to come to America. Agnes was back visiting in Hungary now, but she wasn't even sure if her father would agree to see her. There had been letters back and forth though, and several of our Hungarian relatives had written to say that Grandfather was willing to meet with her and make peace before he died. "Kate, I don't know what to say to you. I was sure surprised at what you both did. How long have you two been doing stuff like that?" "Maybe two years now. Sonia Mendelssohn showed both of us how to do things when we were in fifth grade together. It was one of our first sleepover parties. We hadn't thought of things like that before. We didn't do it that much at first, but, lately, we've been doing it a lot." "Do you like that Clara? Having Kate do that to you? Do you do it to her too?" Clara kept nodding her head up and down to all of my questions. She was embarrassed to be having to participate in the conversation. That much was obvious. "Did you have Kate lick you like that after you ran out of my room the other day?" She looked right at me, for the first time that afternoon, at least since we'd left the movies. "Yes, I needed her to make me have a tingle. You got me so hot." By tingle, she meant cum. I wish I'd been in Kate's room watching them. I would have cum so hard I'd have had to get a ladder and clean it off the ceiling. I smiled at the both of them, as a hundred vivid pictures flashed before my eyes. "Do you guys stick thing in each others pussys?" "Sometimes, but not always. How come you asked us that?" Kate answered for the two of them. "Because Clara's pussy is opened up. There isn't anything across it to make it hard for her to take a dick up inside her." "How do you know that?" Kate looked over at Clara, almost like she was jealous. "Because, when Clara was in my room, I finger banged her for about ten minutes." "Really? Clara didn't tell me that. No wonder she had such a good tingle then. Tell me what it felt like, Clara. Was it better than a carrot?" Clara nodded her head up and down enthusiastically. "Better than when I lick you?" Clara blushed, risking only a quick glance at me, and then nodded her head, no. "Almost as good?" Again Clara indicated her head in a 'no' answer. "Did it make you want to do it with him?" Clara nodded, 'yes'. "Would you like him to do it to you the next time we're alone with him?" "Only if he wanted to." "Well, that's too bad for you then, because you aren't getting it before I do. We'll either get it together or else not at all. I can't believe you let Larry put his fingers in you, and then didn't even tell me about it." "That's why I didn't tell you, Kate. I'm a whole year older than you are, but you still want to run everything. Now, you're going to ruin it for me with Larry, just because you can't stand me being ahead of you. Sometimes, I wish you weren't my best friend." Clara was really upset, and now she started crying. I was going to pat her on the arm, maybe hug her and comfort her, but Kate slapped my hand away from Clara. Instead, she took Clara into her arms for a hug and made soothing, shushing sounds at her. In a minute or two we resumed our walk back home. When we got there, Kate and Clara went back to Kate's room. I went down in the basement to see if my father needed any help with carrying his trash up to the trash bins. My mother had laid down the law to him about cutting his pile of junk in half before the weekend was over. My dad kept bringing other people's junk home, believing that he could fix it up and make it work again. At least 95% of the time, he was wrong about being able to fix those things. Whenever his pile of discarded projects got too big down in the basement, my mother made him agree to throw out half of it. My father found it painful to throw anything away. If he had his way, we'd be living in a junkyard. I worked with him for half an hour. It was easier on him if he didn't have to physically take anything out to the trash. He had no problem with things going in the other direction though. Clara left a little before dinner time. She didn't tell me goodbye or anything. At seven, my parents left for a meeting with some church group they belonged to. I knew they would be gone until after ten. I figured that Kate was going to come out to the living room to talk with me. When she hadn't shown up by seven thirty, I began to get concerned. I went to her bedroom, but before I knocked, I heard her in there, crying. I decided to leave her alone. I was sure that there had been some fallout between her and Clara over that day's activities and revelations. I thought a little time might help her to put everything in better perspective. I went back to the living room and called Karen. I hadn't been sure that she would be home on a Saturday night, but, I figured there might be a possibility. She was home. "Larry?" "Hi Karen, I just thought I'd take a chance and call you. I'm glad you were at home." "My parents only allow me one date per week." "Really? My parents have never set any limits like that for me. I guess it is my own ugly puss that keeps me at home most weekends." "Are you fishing for a compliment, Larry?" "Would I get one if I were?" "Maybe." "I really enjoyed the movie with you last night." "The movie, or all the other stuff?" "It was all fun. I admit I enjoyed the kissing the most though. Of course, I didn't enjoy myself nearly as much as the guy sitting next to you enjoyed himself." "Oh, I know. I was embarrassed by what they were doing. They must have thought they were all alone or something. They must not have a car." "I wish I was old enough to drive. I'd like to go on a date at a drive in movie." "You didn't like the balcony?" "No, I told you I liked it. I just think it would be neat to be all alone in a car at a movie. That way you could have more privacy if you needed it." "You don't mean needed, you mean wanted." "Okay, if you insist. It is kind of hard to make out much when there are people all around you." "Were you disappointed last night?" "No, not at all. Were you?" "Well one thing did disappoint me, but I probably shouldn't tell you what it was." "That's just teasing when you do that, Karen." "Okay. I was disappointed that your hands were so cold, when you were walking me home. If they hadn't been so cold, I might have surprised you." "Really? Surprised me how?" "You know how." "Can I ask you a question?" "You can ask. I might not want to answer you though." "Last night, in the movies, when you put my hand in my lap, did you rub on me like that on purpose?" "Of course not, Larry. Why would you ever think that?" Then she laughed. One of those encouraging kinds of laughs that girls practiced developing. "Well, I guess I was hoping that it was on purpose. It sure felt nice when you did it." "I told Denise about our whole date, Larry. She got so jealous. I even told her how my hand accidentally touched you there. She didn't believe it was an accident. When you watched all those people doing things, Larry, did it have any effect on you?" "You mean besides making me wish that you would let me do them to you?" "No, that isn't what I meant. I meant did it get you hot?" "Karen, I'll tell you a little secret. I'm not sure why, but ever since my birthday, I've been hot whenever I'm awake. It is really weird too. I mean, before my birthday, I hardly ever thought of those things. Since then, it is like everything I see or touch, hear or smell makes me think of it." "I hear that from girls all the time too. With me, it began a long time ago. I don't even remember when. Maybe in the third grade. I think that was one of the reasons I got fat. Food was something that I could get my hands on." "So, how did you stop being fat then?" "Maybe I discovered something better than food, something that took my mind off of eating." "Well, whatever it was, it sure worked. In school, your body comes up in quite a few conversations among us boys." "Really? What do you say about it?" "I mostly just listen. I don't do much talking about girls." "That's good to know about you. That's what Denise said about you too. Of course, that's dangerous too. I mean, if a girl knew that the boy wasn't going to ever say anything to his friends. But, don't get me side tracked. What do other boys say about my body?" "A lot of boys think your figure is spectacular." "Spectacular in what way?" "Now who's fishing for compliments?" "I am. In what way?" "Well, most people think your butt is the nicest in our whole class. Some say in the whole school." "Really? What do you think?" "Oh, I'd have to agree with them." "I bet if you ever saw it, you wouldn't think that anymore. Without my clothes on, it looks huge. I hate looking at it." "I bet if I ever saw it without any clothes on, I'd like it even better." "Well, that gives me something to think about later tonight. I don't think I'd ever consider actually showing it to you, but it might be fun to just imagine it. Larry, my mother says I have to get off the phone now. Thank you for calling me. I enjoyed our conversation. One other thing, I did do that on purpose, the second time, but the first time was an accident. Bye." ------- Chapter 12 Kate came out of her room at nine o'clock. I was lying on the couch, reading my Biology text, trying to understand about phylum, class and order. I knew I'd never need any of this after I got out of school, but I also knew I had to learn it now, at least well enough to regurgitate it up for the test that was coming. I didn't even notice her standing there until she sat down near my knees. "Are you happy now, Larry? Clara says she wants to stop being my friend. It's all because of what you did with her. She says she doesn't want to keep doing it until even more people find out about her." "How many already know about what you two are doing?" "I don't know, a few. Clara says her mom probably knows, because she started talking to her about girl/girl things. Some girls at our school and some at the high school, too. Maybe ten or twelve people have a real good idea about us." "That's a lot of people to keep such a big secret. I'm surprised it hasn't already come out. Do you just like girls, Kate?" "Of course not! What do you think? If they allowed boys to sleepover with us, Clara and I would never have done so much of the other. You use what you can get. I told you that I've been interested in boys for a long time. It is just easier to get in private with other girls. People don't think anythings wrong when four or five girls have a slumber party. It feels good, so we do it. As soon as we get something that feels better, we'll do that." "It really surprised me when I saw you and Clara kissing." We had planned on doing that since Thursday. We both wanted to see what you thought about it. When you didn't seem to get too upset, I decided to go further. Clara tries to hide it from everyone. She is ashamed of needing to do it." "What about you Kate? Do you need to do it?" "I want to do it. Clara wouldn't do it very often if I didn't make sure she needed to. I've always liked it. I don't see anything wrong with making yourself or other people feel good. I don't care if it is against the Bible." "I don't care about that either. I do care about if it might be bad for you, Kate. And bad for Clara too. If it makes her feel bad or guilty, you shouldn't get her to do it." "She feels bad after we're finished. You saw her in the movie today. Did it look like I was forcing her? The real reason she was so upset today was because you were there, you saw how she gets when I do that. If you ever saw her doing me, you wouldn't think I was making her do anything. As soon as I get her going, she forgets all about feeling bad. If I didn't say or do anything, she would still come over here and wait for me to tempt her. This isn't the first time she has said she wasn't going to do it anymore. She always comes back though." "She gets really hot when she plays with me, and I play with her too." "I got hot in my room just imagining what you were doing in your room. Clara is just as anxious to do things with boys as I am. She told me that she almost let you put it in her the last time." "Do you put things inside you like Clara does?" "Whenever I can get things. Half the carrots you've eaten in the last two years have been in Clara or me, or, sometimes, both of us. Bananas too, when they are in season. Clara and I both want to try a boy. We're ready." "Your body might be ready, Kate. I'm not saying you couldn't manage it physically. But, you are still only twelve years old. Why are you in such a big hurry? Sex will still be around when you're older and it is more appropriate for you." "You sound like them now." "By them, do you mean our mother and father?" "Yes. Whenever I want to do something, whatever it is, I'm always too young to do it." "Kate, do you really believe that most twelve year olds want what you want?" "That's another thing. I'm not most anything. I'm me. I've tried to live their way, but it doesn't work for me. Their way is boring" "What about pregnancy and having babies?" "Larry, I've already thought about all of that. I'm still going to do it. Clara's going to do it. After last week, Jane is going to do it. If you really want to help me, you should help me find somebody that will do it, and still be careful not to make us pregnant." "I want you to know that I'd do anything to help you Kate. I just can't see how this will help you. If you do this thing, I'm really afraid it is going to hurt you." "I figured this would be your answer. It isn't going to stop me though. Clara either." I knew she was right. I couldn't stop her without talking to my parents. If I did that, Kate would be shipped off to Hungary. That wouldn't stop her either. If a girl wanted to have sex, there wasn't anyway to prevent it. She wouldn't be any safer in Hungary. Once I accepted that I couldn't prevent her from having sex, the next question was how do I minimize the negative impact of it on all of us? "How about Bill then?" "Do you mean it? I like Bill. He wouldn't hurt me at least. You could do Jane too. I know she wants it." "Look, Kate, it might take some time to get this set up so that nothing bad happens to us. I'd have to get some rubbers first. Bill wouldn't talk to anyone about it at least. It can't be something that the two of you do all the time either. We'd have to be careful, or your reputation will be ruined. If mom or dad finds out, we'll both wind up in Hungary. You go to bed now, I've got to think about this. Don't do anything crazy until I get this worked out, okay?" Kate kissed me on my cheek and went to bed. I sat on that sofa for the next half hour. I knew I was betraying my parent's trust by agreeing to set something up for Kate. I was also going against my own beliefs of what was good for Kate by doing it. I thought about Jane, Bill's sister. She had made me realize that it wasn't something that was just limited to Kate alone. She was a sexual being too. Clara was a year older than those two, but I knew that she and Kate had been experimenting for the past two years. I thought about Jane in terms of whether I wanted her to be a part of my deal with Bill. It was selfish on my part, but if I did it to Bill's sister, he'd have more reason not to go around telling people about how he screwed Kate. It would also depend on Jane. If she didn't want to, then I wouldn't. It wasn't easy at all. There were so many people who would be affected by my decisions. My dick was really the only part of me that liked the way I was thinking. My dick had them all lined up in order, first Jane, then Clara, maybe Karen soon after, and then Denise a little while later. I finally stopped thinking about all of that, and went to my room to get undressed for my shower. In the shower, my horny thoughts returned. I thought about several things while I stroked myself. It was while I was thinking about Karen, and her showing me her naked ass, when my dick finally let go with a very satisfying load. If I could have made things the way I wanted them, I would have made Kate, Clara and Jane innocent again, had them all playing with their dolls, and wanting to have their pretend tea parties for all of their stuffed animals. Kate's situation had become my number one problem. I still felt a strong urge to try to protect her, although it was now mostly trying to protect her from herself, and the excessive dwelling on sex that I was afraid she had. Clara, I wasn't that protective of, maybe because she wasn't related to me. Jane, that was a little less clear in my mind. She had been like a little kid to me before that day over at Bill's house. She still was a little kid. In fact, all of us were little kids, but we were all playing at an adult level. In bed that night, I remember feeling ashamed of myself. I felt that my lack of setting an example and controlling myself around Kate and her friends, had brought us all to this point. It started out that I woke up with some idea of going to my parents and attempting to slip out of the responsibility I'd taken for protecting Kate. I had been thinking that, if I went to them before things got too much further out of hand, they might relent enough to not send Kate away. I'd thought of this right before going to sleep. It was me bailing out from a situation where I didn't like any of my options. It was five minutes after I woke up that I put on some pants and walked out to the kitchen. My parents were talking about Kate. My mother wanted to take Kate out of public school and put her into an all girl Catholic school that went from seventh grade through high school. My father was against it. Apparently, at the church group the night before, my mother had talked to another woman about having trouble with Kate. This woman had told my mom that she once had a problem with her daughter before finally sending her over to this school. It was good to send a girl for the discipline she said. The nuns that taught there knew how to take their minds off of boys, and to force them to concentrate on their studies. I didn't think an all girls school was what Kate needed. My mother's attitude right then ended any thoughts that I might have been having of turning the problem back over to my parents. If my mother knew anything about what Kate had already been up to, let alone what she was now wanting to do, she would simply go berserk about all of it. I wasn't that thrilled with all of it either, but my judgment wasn't clouded up with almost forty years of strict religious training. I went to church on Sunday, but that was it. I wouldn't go to anything else after I got to be thirteen years old. Kate decided that if I didn't have to go, she didn't either. My father sided with us. He wasn't nearly as committed to religion as my mother was. My parents weren't Catholics either. We were all Baptists. The fact that my mother was thinking about an all girls Catholic school told me how concerned Kate's earlier rebellion had left her. If she was this upset when she thought things were under control, what would she do if she found out the truth? We all went to church, and then Kate and I went out for a bike ride together right after we got back. We had quick sandwiches and a glass of milk before we left. Kate talked me into riding past Clara's house to see if she wanted to go with us. I didn't think it was that good of an idea, but I still didn't bother to argue against it. Kate made me go up to the door and ask her. I went up and knocked. Clara opened the door. I could see that she was surprised to see that it was me. "Hi, Kate and I are going for a bike ride out to the lake. We'd both like it if you came with us." "I'm still mad at her." "You should be. If you come with us though, you don't have to talk to her. You can be my date. It will be like I had to bring my little kid sister along because my parents made me." I laughed when I told her this. She didn't laugh, but it did bring a little smile. "Come on, Clara, you know it will be fun. You don't want to stay mad at Kate anyway." "All right, but give me a few minutes to get changed. You want to come in?" "No, I'll go tell Kate that you're coming. She's been upset about yesterday too. She was crying in her room for over an hour after you left." "I'll be out in a minute. Can you open up the garage and get my bike out for me?" When she came out again, she was wearing tight jeans and another of her bulky sweaters. She probably wore those all the time because you couldn't tell how little she had on top with them. Now that I'd played with her nipples, I found myself wishing she had worn a thin shirt, and maybe a jacket over it. Clara and Kate just nodded to each other, without speaking, when she came out and climbed onto her bike. We started off in the direction of the lake. It was about a six mile ride, and there was a big hill to climb about a third of the way there. It wasn't that steep of a hill, but it was a half mile slow ascent. If you weren't used to riding, it was a real workout. We all made it up with no one having to get off and walk their bike. At the top, Clara stopped and took off her sweater. She had a tee shirt on underneath, with a picture of Niagara Falls on the front of it. She tied the arms of her sweater around her waist so that the main part covered her butt, hopped back on her bike, and we started off again. We made good time getting to the lake after that. When we got there, there were only two cars there. One was a young family, having a picnic with their two small children. The other one was an old man who was fishing off the side of the lake near the boat launch place. It wasn't that big of a lake, and there were better, more popular lakes nearby. The fishing was supposed to be pretty good, but it wasn't really big enough for good boating or water skiing. It was more of a picnic lake or for swimming in the summertime. We parked our bikes and went over to see the guy who was fishing. When Kate asked him how the fishing was, he showed her three good sized bass that he had caught and kept in the water on a stringer near his feet. The three of us then took off towards the big rock that stuck out just at the edge of the lake. It was huge, maybe twenty feet high and about thirty feet long. It started on land, but went straight out into the lake. Kids jumped and dove off of it all the time. If you dove straight out from the edge, the water was deep enough. Kids got injured every year though from jumping or diving off the sides where it was too shallow. It was easy to climb up on it because people had chiseled in foot and hand holds over the years. After we had all climbed up, I took off my jacket and sat down on it. Kate took hers off too and sat down on my left. Clara sat down on her sweater facing both of us. Clara still hadn't said anything to Kate. "Clarabelle, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done that to you. Guess what Larry's going to do for me?" Clara just ignored her. I looked over at Kate, but I didn't say anything either. "I'm really sorry, okay? Don't stay mad at me." "Clara, do you like it up here? You can see the whole lake from here. I'm sorry I got stuck bringing the little brat, but my parents made me take her." "That's okay, Larry. Little kids can be such pests sometimes though. This one seems like she has to get all of the attention too." "If you just ignore her, she'll give up after awhile." As we sat there, Clara and I having our own conversation, Kate started fuming. "Would you two like it better if I left you alone? I can go over and wait by the bikes I guess." Clara answered her. "Are you sure you wouldn't get in trouble left all alone? I wouldn't want Larry getting the blame if you got lost or something." "I think I can manage all right. If he splits you wide open, don't expect me to kiss it and make it better. I only do that for my friends." Clara flushed with embarrassment. I gave Kate a sharp look, my eyes closed to narrow slits. "I'm sorry, Clara. It makes me upset when you're being mean to me. I already said I'm sorry for what I did. When I'm mad I can say mean things too." "Kate, go wait by the bikes. Clara and I are just going to talk for a few minutes, in private, and then we'll all ride back together. Don't you leave without us." Kate climbed back down the rock and walked away, toward our bikes. We waited until she was out of earshot before we started talking. I told her what Kate had told me about being ready for sex with a boy. I told her that I had decided that she would do it anyway, so I was going to help her, to try to make sure she didn't get hurt or pregnant. "So, that just means that Kate gets what she wants again. She always does. She just keeps bothering people and worrying them until they decide to let her have her way. Every month she gets worse and worse about it. She has to have her way." "You're right. The trouble is that she makes the consequences for opposing her worse than the ones for allowing her to do what she wants. I'm open to any suggestions you have. I don't want her being sent away to Hungary. I think she is determined to just do what she wants, with or without my help." "She is. I knew that a long time ago. It's one of the reasons why we don't have many friends anymore. It always has to be her way. Even on the smallest things. If I didn't love her so much, I'd just give up and stop being her friend." "I'm her brother, I can't just quit. Do you think she'll be satisfied if I let her do it with Bill?" "I honestly don't think she will ever be satisfied. She always wants something more, something different, or better than what she has." "What would you do if you were me?" "I'd do exactly what I'm doing to her. Tell her that her behavior is unacceptable, and stay away from her until she promises to stop it. If you help her do it once, she will just keep demanding more and more from you. If it works, she'll never quit doing it." "Suppose you are wrong. Suppose she goes ahead and does it anyway and gets pregnant?" "Think about the rest of her life, Larry. What is she learning right now when everybody lets her keep having her way? She has to be stopped sometime, for her own good. I haven't had the courage to do it before, but, yesterday, she really took advantage of my weakness. She humiliated me, just to show you that she could. She knew how I felt about not wanting you to know about us, but she still did it, because she wanted to show you." "I don't think bad of you because of yesterday, Clara." "Someday, Larry, you are going to love me. That's what Kate is really afraid of. Because she knows when that day comes, I won't let her do things with me anymore." That hit home like a hammer on my temple. I made a connection with those fifty little loose end dots that had been floating through my brain ever since Kate's first tantrum with my mom over Bill. When they argued over Kate being fourteen years old before she went out with boys. My mother had stood up to her, ending up sending her away, and it was only then that Kate had backed down. It was only when my mother relented to some extent by letting me be Kate's chaperon that Kate had gone back to her old, demanding ways. The more I allowed her, the more she wanted and demanded. What if all of this was really about her loving Clara? What if it was her being afraid that Clara would leave her for me if she ever got the chance? She sure hadn't seemed broken up at all over Bill's casually throwing her over for Eileen. She seemed more concerned that I wasn't going after Eileen myself. She encouraged me to go out with Karen or Denise, or anyone. She hadn't been that excited to leave me alone with Clara, ever. That stunt in the movie yesterday. It was Clara who had gotten me involved with her first, by putting my hand on her chest. Clara had reached out for me, touching my thigh. She hadn't reached for Kate. As soon as I had moved Clara between Kate and I, Kate was all over her. Clara hadn't initiated anything with Kate. It was Kate that was desperate to make up with Clara. "Did Kate talk to you about her making out with you in the theater at any time before we got there?" "No! If she had said anything, I wouldn't have agreed to it. Not with you right there. She knows how hot I get when she touches me down there. You saw it too, when you touched me when I was with you in your bedroom before. I love you, Larry, and I love Kate too. Both of you can get me excited very easily." Clara was right. Someone had to stand up to Kate and tell her no. It wasn't good for her to always force things to go her way. She wasn't mature enough to decide what was good for her and what was harmful. If it felt good, she wanted it. I knew now how important Clara was to her. I was just as important to her, though it was in a different way. I told Clara it was time to go. I told her to break off from us when we got to town and ride home by herself. I needed to have another private talk with Kate. Clara agreed. I don't think she felt strong enough to get caught in the middle of a fight between Kate and I. I had made my decision. I was going to stand up to Kate and risk her going off and doing something stupid. I just hoped she would stop long enough to really think about the consequences if she went ahead and did it anyway. ------- Chapter 13 As soon as we got to the fork that marked the beginning of the town, Clara took off, with a little wave of goodbye to me. Kate was going to just ride after her, but I had my hand on her bike frame. "Stay here. You and I need to talk, in private." "I didn't get a chance to tell her 'bye. What did you say to her?" "Kate, she and I talked about the little tricks you've been playing, and the lies you've been telling. If you aren't real careful, Clara is going to give up on you. Already, she wishes that she didn't love you. You hurt her by doing all of that in the movies, especially since it was in front of me. The worst part is that she knows why you did it." "I did it because I was hot, and I wanted her to be hot too. You weren't willing to help either of us." "Kate, you've been manipulating all of us just so we would let you have your own way. After Clara told me a few things, I was able to see that for myself. I don't appreciate it either. No one enjoys being used, Kate. It is even worse if it comes from someone you love and care about." "That isn't true, Larry. I didn't do any of that. I didn't know that Clara would get so upset. I can't believe she's trying to turn even you against me." "Kate, that isn't true. You know it isn't true, and you are saying it to try to get out of taking responsibility for what you did. That is immature. I never felt right about aiding you in this thing with Bill, or with anyone else. I've decided not to do it. I'm not going to help you do something that I believe will be bad for you." "I don't really need your help anyway. I can see Bill anytime I want to. Or, if not, I know boys at school that would do it." "That's fine. When we get home, I'll tell mom and dad what you've been up to, and turn the whole problem back over to them." "You'd be in more trouble than I would. You were supposed to be watching out for me." "I'll take my chances. You can't keep on pushing people just to get what you want. You act like a baby, throwing a tantrum when you don't get what you want. I'm through talking with you. Let's go home and let mom and dad decide." "No! Don't do that. Mom will send me to Hungary. I don't want to go there, Larry. I'll run away first." "Good idea. Get going, I'm heading home. Have a great life, Kate. I'm sure they won't catch you before dinner. Your first instinct is always to push it further, to make it worse. I feel sorry for you now. You are going to throw everything away rather than wait until it all comes to you. That is so stupid, so selfish, and, unfortunately, so like this new Kate, that makes it so hard for anyone to love her." I stood up on my bike and took off. Kate yelled after me to stop, but I wouldn't. I heard her behind me, trying to catch up, but having a hard time doing that. I was stronger and faster than her, she was crying, and having trouble breathing because of it. When I got to the park near our house, I stopped and allowed her to catch up. I had gotten off my bike, and she got off of hers too and came running over to me. She was crying and babbling about how she couldn't stand it if everyone was mad at her, begging me to not say anything to our parents, promising to mind me in everything. I knew she was in a panic and desperate, but that is what I wanted for her. I hugged her, and got her quieted down after awhile. "Look at me, Kate. I'd rather see you in Hungary, picking mushrooms in the woods, and trying to learn how to speak that crazy language, than see you here, doing things to ruin your future. I'm not going to be part of that. You need to really change before I even begin to trust you again. Until I do trust you again, I'm not going to be your chaperon. If you try to sneak around behind everyone's back, as soon as I find out about it, I'm going to go to mom and tell her everything. I will find out about it too, because Clara will tell me. If she doesn't know, then someone who does know will tell me. If you can't convince me that you really mean to change right now, I'm going to talk to mom and dad as soon as we get home." "Why can't we just go back to how it was, Larry. I'll change, I promise." "Because, you need to find out that you have to pay a price for not being honest. You hurt Clara, you hurt me, neither of us feel like we can trust you now. You have to earn it back. If you can't see that, Kate, than you haven't heard any of what I've been trying to tell you." "What do I have to do to get you to trust me again?" "The first thing is for you to stay away from Clara until she decides she is over being mad and upset with you. You humiliated her, give her time to be able to forgive you. You need to stop trying to get me to help you do sexual things. You have to stop trying to get me involved with you in that way too. You've been trying to put me in compromising situations just so I can't threaten to go to mom and dad if you do something that I told you not to do. That has to stop right now." "What about me? What am I supposed to do in the meantime if I can't go on dates, and I can't do things with Clara?" "Not just Clara. No more sleepovers with other girls either." "That's not fair. You're just throwing in new stuff now." "You've had your own way pretty much until now. If you want, we can ask mom if she thinks you should have other girls for sleepovers. Of course, I'd have to tell her what has been going on for the past two years." "What am I supposed to do? It will be like a prison." "Buy some carrots. I don't care. You've been growing up way too fast. It is time you slowed down, and let some of the other girls catch up to you. I need your answer right now, Kate. Either my way or else I go see mom and dad." "It still isn't fair. It isn't even your business, Larry. Why do you have to butt into things you aren't even involved in?" "You are my business, Kate. What you get involved in is important to me. You can't just use me for things that help you. It doesn't work like that. You wanted me involved, so now I am. Me or mom, decide right now!" I walked over to my bike and got on it. I was just about to start for home when she answered me. "You. But you have to set a list of what I have to do to get your trust back. There has to be a finish where I know it is over." "I already told you. You lost my trust by deceiving and manipulating me. I'll start trusting you again when I do. I don't know how long that will take, and there isn't any list I can give you for it. You have to trust me to be fair, just like I trusted you to be honest." Kate stood there, not approaching her own bike. She was angry, but she was more worried about having to go right home and deal with the possible consequences if she didn't agree to go along with what I'd laid out for her. Even so, she tried desperately to improve on my conditions. "What about in school? Clara's in every one of my classes. I can't avoid being around her and talking to her. We sit right next to each other in every class too." "You are not to speak to Clara first. If she has something to say, you can answer her, that's all. Right now, she would appreciate it if you didn't talk to her or try to get her to forgive you. If you don't mind me on this, I'll do what I've threatened. That would just mean that you aren't willing to change. You can't do what you want to anymore. That is what you need to learn." "If I try, promise you won't tell mom on me?" "No, if you try and succeed, I won't tell. Just trying isn't enough. There is too much at stake here. It isn't something where you can do good for a week, and then make a mistake, like having some boy screw you, and then promise not to do it anymore if I give you another chance. This is your one chance. You've already used up all the others. I don't think you will make the most of it, but I'm willing to try this one more time. Clara may not even be willing to ever give you another chance. Think about that." "Did she tell you that?" "No, not in those words. She is really hurt though. She feels like you deliberately attacked her. You don't expect that from people you love." "I'm really going to try to change, Larry. You have to help me with Clara though. I don't want to not have her for my friend." "Clara will have to decide that now. You've already given her a good reason to not want to be your friend. Maybe, she can forgive you. Maybe her love is that strong. You just have to leave it up to her to decide. Don't try to get her to do anything. She has to approach you. If you can't do that, then you haven't tried to change." We went home. The next three weeks were pretty somber around our house. I went to Denise's birthday party and had a pretty good time. I danced the first dance with Denise and the second one with Karen. I danced with three or four other girls too, but mostly just with Denise and Karen. It was a little awkward, because there was some tension developing between them over my dancing with them. Near the end of the party, Denise came right out and asked me to only dance with her since it was her special day. I figured there wasn't much more time anyway, and so I agreed to it. We danced the last four dances together. Karen looked upset when I did that. That afternoon when I got home, the first thing I did was phone Karen and explain it to her. When she found out that Denise had asked me, she said that she understood why I had done it. We talked for about half an hour, about the party and Denise and, about when Karen and I were going to go out again. Kate had started coming into my room quite a bit ever since our bike ride. Clara had kept on ignoring her, in school and out, and Kate was really upset and hurt by this. I was a little bit troubled by Kate's reaction. In her mind, none of this punishment was deserved. She might pay lip service to being sorry, but it was sorrow over the unfair consequences, not over the deeds themselves. I tried to explain it to her, that part of changing was to see things from other person's perspective. Kate was only able to look at things from her own. On the second Saturday after our bike ride, I took Clara to the matinee. We sat back in the same location we had the previous time, and we made out like crazy. Mostly, I allowed Clara to take the lead. She had been surprised when I had called her and asked her out. When we were walking to the theater, she told me how she was afraid that she was weakening, because she really missed having Kate to do things with. In the movies, I made her cum at least twice with my fingers. I played with her nipples a lot, and it did seem to me that they were starting to grow and push out from her chest. When I told her they seemed bigger, she blushed and nodded, telling me that she thought so too. I told her that I'd like to kiss them sometime. I let her rub my dick from the outside of my jeans, but that was it. She didn't attempt to take it out. When we were walking home after the movie, Clara told me that she had really enjoyed herself, thanking me for asking her out. I told her I had enjoyed it too. I asked her if she thought she was really ready to go all the way with a boy. Her answer surprised me. "I don't think so. When I get really hot, like that time in your room, I would have let you do it to me then. But even today in the movie, when you were doing that with your fingers, I was thinking about you maybe doing it with your tongue. I was really thinking about it being either you or Kate. I'm sorry if that bothers you, but that is what I was thinking. Not about doing it. I would rather not go all the way. I'm afraid of getting pregnant for one thing, and I'm also afraid that I might like it too much. I think I'm going to start forgiving Kate soon. Does that make you hate me?" "No. I wouldn't forgive her all at once though. I'd make her earn your friendship back, slowly. If it is too easy for her, she might not learn the lesson she is supposed to. Maybe you can start talking to her again, and then let her try to show you how she plans to change." "I know you're right, but it is so hard, seeing her everyday in school, and not being able to be like we once were. She is my best friend. Almost my only friend, really. And, then there is the other thing too. It bothers me that you even know about it, but, since that day in the movies, I can't help thinking about doing those things again with her. I miss it a lot." "Kate said this would happen, Clara. If you give in to it too fast, she won't ever believe that you are strong enough to resist coming back and forgiving anything from her. It was you who first pointed that out to me. It would be better for Kate, and probably for you as well, if you didn't let her go back to the old relationship right away. The more she believes she has lost you, the better chance there is that she won't risk trying to take advantage of you again." "I'll try, Larry, but I'm not sure I can hold off from doing it." "Do you think it would help if I did it to you with my tongue? I've never done it before, but you could show me what to do." "I'll think about it. It would be different though. Kate is really good at it." "I think I could learn. Besides, didn't you say I'm going to love you someday, and you would quit doing that with Kate? You might want me to be fully trained by then, so that I could take up the slack from her attentions." "That's pretty funny. You make it sound like it should be part of my plan. I'll think about it." "I guess I should admit that I'm being selfish here too. Ever since I saw Kate doing it, I've wanted to try it too. It looks like it really is effective." "It is. It's the best feeling. Well, the best so far. I still haven't done a lot of things." We had gotten to her front door. It was still daylight out, so we didn't kiss. I told her to try to do her best with Kate, but I wouldn't be mad or anything if she decided to make up with her. After she had gone in the house, I walked home. Kate had known that I was taking Clara to the movies. I had told her that I was. She hadn't been too happy about it either. After I got home, she gave me the third degree. I would only tell her that we had a very good time, giving her none of the particulars. I could see she was frustrated by that, and also that she was very jealous. It had been two long weeks for Kate. I thought I should give her something to look forward to. "Clara said she misses you. Try not to screw things up again if she does decide to give you another chance." This, of course, led to fifty more questions, but I wouldn't answer any of them, especially her demands for me to tell her what Clara had said about her or her intentions towards her. I finally told her to calm down and go back to her own room. I warned her not to do anything to blow it before Clara made up her own mind. What I did tell her was apparently enough, I could see that her spirits were better and she was looking forward to Monday, and seeing Clara again in school. That night at about six thirty, Denise phoned me. We talked for only a minute before she came right to the point. "I'm going to be at the movies with Trudie at seven. She always sits down in the front, but I don't like it down there. I wondered if you wanted to meet us there and sit with me to keep me company?" It was already after six thirty, I would have to miss supper, and even then, I'd barely make it on time. I told her that I would be there though, and told her to sit on the main floor in the back row, if she could. "Don't you want to take me to the balcony? You took Karen there." "No, Karen took me there. If you want to go there too, I'd be happy to go up there with you though." "I'll meet you in the lobby after I get Trudie settled somewhere down front." I hurried out to the kitchen and told my mom that something had come up and I'd be home late. She made me a nice sandwich with the chicken she had cooked. It sure tasted good. I ate it down while I was walking back to the theater. Denise calling had surprised me. I had figured that since she and Karen were friends, she would wait for me to choose one or the other to go out with. I liked this way a lot better. I found it hard to believe that it had been her that had suggested the balcony. When I licked my fingers after the sandwich, I tasted Clara's pussy on two of them. I stopped for a second to reflect on how lucky I was getting to be. I didn't think I'd get to do that with Denise, at least not on our first date, but I could hope couldn't I? Life was getting good. ------- Chapter 14 I got to the movie at about five before seven, bought my ticket, and then went inside. Denise wasn't in the lobby. For a minute, I wondered if she was playing some kind of a practical joke on me. I was just getting ready to go inside and start looking for her when the doors to the movie opened up and she came out. As soon as she saw me, she gave me one of her high wattage smiles, and waved to me. I hurried over to her. "Hi, sorry I'm late." "Hello. No, don't worry, you're here on time. The news is on right now. I hope you don't mind sitting up in the balcony? I've been wanting to go up there ever since Karen told me about it." "I don't mind a bit. You might see some things up there that will shock you though." She laughed. "I heard. I hope we do. We better get up there before it gets too full and we can't get a seat." This time I led the way, holding her hand, so that she wouldn't lose me in the dark. We found two seats, but it was right underneath the projector that was operating. In case the projector messed up, everyone looking back at it would be able to see us. It was no wonder that the seats were empty. We sat down and got comfortable just as the newsreel ended and the cartoon began. Denise had a coat that she placed in her lap. She was wearing a skirt and blouse. She had really dark brown hair, almost black. Her eyes were brown, dark brown, like mahogany. She had breasts that were on the smallish side, but still bigger than Jane's or Clara's. They were about half the size of Karen's. Denise had a prettier face than Karen, and was thinner than her as well. Karen had the better body, according to almost all the boys in my class. I had a hard time making up my mind about the two of them. Denise was always nice to me, and her face, especially when she smiled, was so pretty. I enjoyed talking with her, but she was kind of quiet and reserved. Karen, on the other hand was outgoing, and full of life and good spirits. I found her personality refreshing, at least since we had put our one fight behind us. Aside from having a great body, Karen had done enough with me, in the balcony, and on the walk home, to give me hope that she would allow me some freedom to experiment with her. She had already let me keep my hand on her breasts for a few seconds, and that was on our first date. Denise was a surprise though. Calling me took a lot of nerve, and practically asking me to take her in the balcony, maybe I was wrong about her reserve and shyness. "Karen told me that you kissed her right away. I want you to kiss me too." Denise had leaned over close to me to whisper that in my ear. As she did so, I think I felt her breast pressing against my shoulder. I think I was definitely wrong about Denise's shyness. We kissed, close mouthed, the first few times. Denise was looking all around just like Karen and I had when it was our first time up in the balcony. From where we were sitting, we actually had a better place to watch what everyone else was doing. It was fairly early in the movie, which was 'The Grass is Greener' with Cary Grant, Robert Mitchum, Deborah Kerr and Jean Simmons, that Denise and I saw something that shocked both of us. It was a guy I knew from school, I didn't know his name, but he was a senior, and some girl that I had never seen before. They were in the row right in front of ours, and there were couples sitting on either side of them too. This guy took his dick out and the girl started playing with him. We both saw it at the same time. Anyone could have seen it. Neither of them did anything to try to hide it. He just sat there, and she rubbed him up and down. They weren't even kissing. Once, the guy turned his head and smiled at me because he must have recognized me or something. After a short time watching them, Denise and I went back to kissing. Now we were French kissing. Her teeth were very smooth, and her breath was nice, kind of like juicy fruit gum. I had my hand on her stomach, just like I had done with Karen. I decided to put it right on her breast to see what she would do. It never made sense to me to try and sneak up on a girl's breast. I had done that a little with Karen, but it didn't seem to help me any. This way, I was sure to get a little feel at least. To my surprise, Denise didn't object or anything. She just kept on kissing me. When we stopped kissing, she took my hand, but didn't try to move it away. It was almost like she wanted to make sure I kept it there. "I wish they were bigger for you, like Karen's are." "You shouldn't worry, your's are just as nice." I had to be careful of how I phrased things because Karen and Denise were friends too. "This is all Karen said you two did. Or was she lying to me?" "I don't talk about things like that, Denise. You should only go as far as you want to. Don't worry about what Karen let me do." "She did lie, didn't she? I knew it!" "I never said that. I told you I don't talk about what I did with another girl. Would you like it if I told Karen what you and I do?" "Did she let you touch her downstairs?" I could see her face clearly, and I saw she was upset. I was tempted to tell her no, that Karen had only let me touch her breasts. I resisted the temptation. Instead, I made the zipping motion across my lips, and sat back in my chair. "Don't be upset, Denise. Let's just watch the movie. "If you did that with her, Larry, I want to do it too." "I'm not going to discuss what Karen and I did. I'm here with you right now. What do you want to do?" I reached over and started kissing her. As I did so, I put my hand down on her knee and started pulling up the hem of her skirt. She inhaled sharply, but made no move to stop me. I got enough of her skirt material up that I finally had my hand on her bare leg, just inside the knee. I started stroking it softly with the tips of my finger pads. I started from the knee and went about half way. She kept kissing me, but she was fidgeting around in her seat. We broke the kiss. "You know, Denise, you can always stop me if this is making you uncomfortable? I don't want to upset you by going too fast." I started moving my hand higher up on her thigh. Her legs were squeezed tightly together. When I finally got my finger so that it touched her panty leg, Denise stopped me by grabbing my hand with both of hers. I had touched panty though. I pulled my hand back until it was again resting a little higher than her knee. I started kneading and rubbing that area. Denise kept kissing me. Her tongue was becoming more adventurous as it went inside my mouth. I took my hand off her thigh, taking one of her hands, bringing it over on my own lap. I took her fingers, which were balled into a tight fist, and gently pried them back open, using both of my hands. I then carefully placed her hand right on my swollen dick. I was wearing my church dress pants, much thinner than jeans. I had worn them so that Clara would have an easier time with playing with my dick. I saw no reason not to try to get Denise to touch it as well. She let her hand stay right on my cock for about five seconds, even squeezing it once, before she removed it. I was well satisfied with the way this first date had gone too. After the movie was over, Denise hurried down to meet her sister in the lobby. She told me to meet her later in the lobby, but to pretend that we each didn't know the other was here at the movie until right then. I just assumed she was doing this for her sister's benefit. I waited up in the balcony for a few minutes, and then went out into the lobby myself. I got there just as Trudie was walking up to Denise. I actually knew Trudie better than I did Denise. She was in several dancing classes with my mom. She was a very good little ballerina. I remembered that she had spent at least two or three nights sleeping over at our house during sleepovers with Kate, and her other friends from the dancing school. She was about eleven or twelve years old. I wondered if she too had been introduced to the fooling around that some of the girls did. I'd have to ask Clara and Kate about it. "Hi Trudie, hi Denise. Did you guys like the movie?" I hadn't seen much of the movie. It was about a guy who rents out his castle and his wife was having an affair with Robert Mitchum. "Hi, Larry, is Kate with you?" This was from Trudie. "No, she is at home. Still whining about being too young to do anything. So, did you guys like it or not?" "I enjoyed myself. Sometimes the movies really teach you a lot. It might be too adult for Trudie though. I'm not sure if she understands what the movie was about." "I did so. I saw you coming down from the balcony too, Denise. I understand what that's all about too. I bet you were up there with Larry too." Trudie was having a good time, giving Denise back some of her own medicine. "I wonder why you'd want to go up there Denise? Or, am I too young to understand that too?" "If you want me to bring you to the movies anymore, Trudie, you'll just be quiet and start behaving yourself." "I was only kidding with you anyway. I don't care where you sit, and I'd never say anything about it anyway." "You better hadn't. Now be quiet, because Larry is going to walk us home." "Did you let him kiss you, Denise?" "That's none of your beeswax, Trudie. Besides, it's rude. Larry and I don't appreciate you butting into our conversation either. You walk a little bit ahead of us, and don't try to listen." "I bet you did kiss him! I bet you put your tongue in his mouth too. You better not mess up like you did with Danny Phelps. You know what mom told you about that." "You just shut up you horrid little brat! I'm going to tell mom about what you just said. You know you aren't supposed to talk about that." I knew Danny Phelps. He was about three years older than I was, but his younger brother, Kevin, was the second baseman on my Little League team. The whole family moved away about two years ago. I think Mr. Phelps got a promotion or something. They left in the summer during Little League season. We never got a good player to replace Kevin either. I wondered what had happened with Denise and Danny Phelps? "Shall we start walking?" I took Denise's hand as I said that. We started walking towards Denise's house. I could see that she was still really mad at Trudie. Trudie seemed unconcerned about how Denise was feeling, skipping along about forty feet in front of us. "Don't be mad, Denise. I had a really good time tonight. Don't let your sister ruin it for you." "She already did. She can be so hateful. She did that on purpose, reminding me about what happened a long time ago. I was a lot younger then, and I just made a mistake about my friends. There was something that happened, and my parents found out about it. Somehow, Trudie found out about it too. This isn't the first time she has tried to embarrass me about it. It wasn't even that big of a deal, but, she makes it sound like it was." I was careful not to ask her anything about it. We made small talk, and I think she had pretty well calmed down by the time we got to her house. It was about nine thirty, so I was surprised that she invited me inside for a Coke. I told her that it might be late for her parents to be wanting guests. That's when she told me that her parents were out at a party and wouldn't be back until late. She was stuck with watching Trudie, and that's why she took her to the movies. I decided that, in that case, I might come in for a drink. All three of us got Cokes and went back to their big rumpus room, the one where they had her birthday party. It looked different now. I guess they had moved a lot of their furniture out for the party. Now, there were two different couches that faced each other. Trudie sat down on one, and Denise and I sat down on the other one. "Are you guys going to kiss some more?" this time I spoke up. "Why are you so interested in that, Trudie? Are you planning on watching so that you can learn something?" "I know how to kiss already. I don't need to watch you guys for that. I was just curious whether you would or not." "Well, we aren't going to kiss anyway. So you don't have to worry. Still, I think you wanted to watch us. You look like a curious kid. Too bad you're the kind who likes to tell stories." "I don't tell stories." "I heard you telling one not fifteen minutes ago." "I did not. All I said was she better be careful, that's all." "It wasn't very nice. Especially after she took you to a movie." "That was just so she could go up in the balcony with you." "Now, you're back telling stories again, and they aren't even true. I was sitting right behind you, up in the front for the whole movie. Maybe you'd like me to tell Denise what I saw and heard about you?" I saw a look of fear come into Trudie's eyes. It made me wish I had been down there watching or listening to her. "Aren't you a little bit young for what you were up to?" "I wasn't doing anything. I didn't even know that boy. He was the one bothering me." "That wasn't how it looked to me, Trudie. In fact, by the time the movie was half over, I thought you and he were engaged or something." "He only kissed me twice, Denise. That's it. I told him to quit bothering me when he did it." I just smiled at her, looking like I knew a lot more. "Denise, I swear!" "Are you still claiming that you didn't even know him?" "No." "So, Denise, what do you think your parents will say when they find out that Trudie has been making out with a boy at the movies? Will you be in trouble, or will Trudie?" "Trudie is going to be in big trouble. Eleven years old, and letting boys kiss her. She won't be able to sit down for a week, and, as far as dating goes, they'll probably make her wait until she's eighteen." Trudie looked really frightened. "But, you wouldn't really tell on her, would you? What kind of sister wants another sister to get into trouble? Don't you think you could forget about what I told you if Trudie was a good girl and went to her room so that you and I could talk in privacy?" "Do you think that she could do that? I don't think so. I think she's just too curious about what other people are doing." "I could do that. If you don't say anything, then I won't either. I'll stay in my room and not come out again. Except, maybe, if I need to use the bathroom." "What do you say, Denise, it is totally up to you. If you want to get her in trouble, just say the word and I'll go home." "If she went to her room, she would just believe we were doing something we weren't supposed to be doing in here." "I wouldn't, Denise. Please. I'll go to my room and you keep quiet about the other." Trudie got up and left us alone. Denise waited a minute, and then went to check on her. She came back, apparently satisfied that Trudie was in her room to stay. "She can be such a brat. She won't tell though. If she ever did, I have so much I could tell about her, she'd never get off restriction." She had turned the light closest to us off when she came back. There was still a lot of light, but it was darker than it had been. When she sat down again, we started to kiss. She was sitting on my right, facing back towards the living room and the hallway to the bedrooms, so that she could see if Trudie came out of her room. It didn't take us that long to get back to me playing with her breasts. She even unloosened her bra for me, and I was touching her breast underneath her blouse. After a few minutes of this, I tried putting my hand under her skirt, but she stopped me cold. "You don't like me doing that?" "No, it isn't that. It scares me. If you want me to I'll touch you again." She didn't wait for my answer. I spent the next ten minutes kissing her, while she felt up my dick. By the time she was done, she probably knew it almost as well as I did. I was leaking pre cum too, I felt it on my leg. "I can take it out for you, if you want to see it?" "No, don't do that! If Trudie came out she'd catch us for sure." "I thought you said she'd never tell on you?" "Something like that, she might. When I was twelve, something very similar happened, and my mother caught us. I got in a whole lot of trouble. That was the boy, Danny Phelps, that Trudie mentioned. He lived next door to us. We both had our pants down and he was playing with himself. My mother came home early and caught us." "Man, I bet that was some yelling at that you got." "And spanking, and restriction for the summer. I was only twelve, and we were just curious. Almost all the kids I know have done something like that once. I bet you did too." I hadn't, at least not until recently. I wasn't going to admit it though. "Sure, most kids have done it a few times. It's just normal curiosity. I bet Trudie has done something like it herself." Denise put her hand back on my cock and squeezed it again. "It feels bigger than Danny's. It's been so long since I saw him, that I really don't remember it that much." "I can take it out for just a minute if you want to see it, then I'll put it back." Denise looked like she was having an internal battle, but, finally, she nodded her okay to it. I opened up my zipper, and worked it out of my briefs. Denise had her eyes on the hallway, making sure that Trudie wasn't peeking at us. When she looked down again, I had it out and pointing in her direction. She looked at it, and then over my shoulder to the hallway. She looked at it again. "You can touch it if you'd like." "I shouldn't." She looked back over my shoulder, and then she took it in both of her hands. "It's a lot bigger than Danny's. A whole lot bigger." She played with it, mostly looking over my shoulder, at the hallway, but, on occasion looking right at my dick. "Put it away, Larry, that's enough. I'm counting on you not telling anyone about this." "Nobody will ever hear anything from me, Denise." After I had my dick put away, we kissed for a little while, and then I left. I had had a very good day. I walked home feeling pretty good about how things were developing. I figured I'd wait a few days before calling Karen. Give her time to talk to Denise. If Karen was like Denise, she might want to keep up with her. I would assist her to the best of my ability. It was almost eleven when I got home. I turned out the living room light my parents had left on for me, and went to my bedroom. I was tired, and in spite of the day I'd had, I didn't feel like beating off. ------- Chapter 15 Sunday, just after church, Bill came by to go to the park with me. He and Kate were in the living room, flirting back and forth, when I got back there after changing out of my Sunday church clothes. Kate was sitting across from Bill, her dress carelessly drifted up so that you could see her legs above the knees. I asked her how her Hungarian language studies were coming, and she got up and left in a big huff. I then reminded Bill about the deal that he had proposed, and which I had accepted. "You know, Larry, I can't help it if Kate still likes me?" "You know, Bill, I'll bet you I could go over and see Jane, just to find out if there is any rubbing she might want me to take care of for her?" "Do you want to go back to how it was before? If you do, I'm willing." "No, stay away from Kate, Bill. These are our sisters. Can't you find anyone else?" We went over to the park and played touch football until it was almost dark. There were about thirty kids at the park, including Bill's cousin, Eileen. I waved over to her when I spotted her standing along the sidelines with some other girls. They were all watching all of us boys play football. She gave me a nice smile and waved back at me. Bill went over and talked with her, when he was substituted for by another player. I planned on doing the same thing as soon as it got to be my turn for another break. I also checked out the other girls that Eileen was standing with. They were all seventh and eighth graders from the junior high school. I thought I knew one of them slightly from dancing school, but I wasn't that sure of it. Finally, when it was time for my break, I walked over to see Eileen. "Hey there, stranger. Where have you been keeping yourself?" I gave her my best smile when I said it. I had practiced that line from when I saw it on television before. "Larry. I've been around. It's you who never calls a girl." "That isn't true. I would have called you sooner, but I didn't have your phone number, besides, I heard that you were busy with someone else." "Who? And who told you that I was?" "Maybe I heard it from some of the girls at your school. Maybe it was Jane that told me, I don't remember." "Have you been good, or have you been out exploring on your own?" "I've been fishing, but I had to throw them all back, because they were too little for me to keep." "I heard something about that. I also heard that you've become a big fan of movies, that you've been going there two or three times a week." "Well, there are a lot of good movies right now. Plus, it was lonely with no one for me to talk to. At least at the movies, you can escape from the boredom." Eileen was just standing there, grinning at me. It was a pretty cold day, I was starting to get a chill from just standing around without my jacket on. I had taken it off to play football. I asked Eileen to excuse me, then ran over and got my coat and put it on. "Are you done yet with playing football?" It was starting to get dark, the game wouldn't go on past another fifteen minutes. Bill was busy playing. "Do you have your bike here or did you walk over?" "I walked. You want to give me a ride home on your handlebars?" I wasn't sure of what Bill would think if I gave Eileen a ride home. I wasn't going to ask him though. I went over and got my bike and walked it over to where Eileen stood. I held my handlebars steady, while she hopped up on my handle bars. I took off, but was finding it hard going in the grass. As soon as we got to the street though, it became a lot easier. We didn't say much on the way over to her apartment. I was too busy getting enough oxygen in my lungs to keep pedaling, and Eileen was trying hard to keep herself balanced on the handlebars. We were just going fast enough to keep the bike from falling over because it had become an uphill climb. I was relieved when her apartment building came into view. If it had been much farther, I would have needed to stop for a break. Eileen hopped off of my handle bars and rubbed at her butt. "You want to come in, Larry? Nobody else is home." She smiled at me, looking to see what my reaction would be. The last time we were together, back there in the woods at the park, I had almost no experience doing things with girls. She had overwhelmed me that time. Now, I had expanded my horizons considerably. She was in for a surprise if she thought I'd be as nervous and scared as I'd been back there in the woods. "Will I be safe all alone with you? You were pretty fast the last time." "I just need to see if you've learned anything new from the last time." "I have learned a few things, but I doubt if I'm caught up with you yet." "Well, come up and show me what you've learned. The last time, if I remember right, you had already felt me up on my tits and my pussy, and I'd touched you on your pecker. Isn't that right?" "Yes, that's the way I remember it. Except, I only felt up your jacket and your jeans, and you felt up my jeans. If I had really felt them up, there wouldn't have been clothes between my hand and your pussy." "I don't know what has gotten into you, Larry, but I know I like it, whatever it was. Are you ready to continue catching up?" "I'm ready. Why don't you tell me what I'm behind with. Maybe I've already done some of it." "You tell me what you've done first." "I've touched bare boobs, and I've played with a pussy too. I even had my fingers inside of a pussy. I've had girls touch my dick, and one of them rubbed it on her bare pussy. I've been in a locked room with a girl, without any clothes on either of us. Well the girl had a top on, but nothing to cover up her pussy. That's about all of it I guess." "All of that since the last time we were together? That's a lot more than I expected. Who was it with? Not my cousin, I hope?" "That's all I'm telling you about it, not who. So, how far behind am I now?" I honestly thought she was going to say that I'd caught up to her, maybe even passed her by. I thought that the finger banging that I did with Clara had leap frogged me right past any of Eileen's experiences. None of the other girls had let even me get close to what Clara had allowed me to do. I smiled at her when she didn't come up with anything right away. "Has anyone let you put it inside them yet?" That got my attention in a hurry. She was asking if I'd gotten laid or not. All the way. Home base. "Not actually in them, but I've touched a pussy with my cock." "It has to be all the way in for it to count." "I'll probably be doing that soon then. I could have the last time, if I'd wanted to." "You expect me to believe that? If you could have, you would have." "All right. I'll come back next week, and I will have. She wanted to, but I didn't." I zipped up my jacket and was getting ready to leave. "Where are you going? That isn't everything either. Have you ever licked a girl's pussy? Ever got a girl to suck on your pecker?" "No, and I wouldn't want to do that either. I've seen a girl do that, to another girl though." "Really? I've done all of that, except for not with another girl. Where did you see that, anyway?" "At the movie theater. A girl got down on the floor and put her head right under the other girl's skirt. When she got up, her face was all wet. The other girl licked the wet all off of her." "You expect me to believe she did that in a public place? She must be crazy!" "That's just your opinion. She looked to me me like she enjoyed it, and the other girl sure did." "Do you want to do it with me?" "Which one?" "All of them, I guess. If you lick me, I'll suck you. Then, after we do that, if we both feel like it, you can screw me too." "I don't have any rubbers." "So? All you do is take it out before you make your mess. I never used rubbers." "You'll get pregnant then. We learned that in Health class. Even when a guy hasn't actually squirted yet, some of his stuff comes out." "Well, it has never happened to me. You want to, or not?" "I would, but it's late, and I need to be home for supper. My mom gets mad if we are late, especially on Sundays." "Well, when then?" "I don't know. Maybe next week. Give me your number and I'll call you. Don't tell Bill about any of this. He gets jealous, and he'll want to go out with my sister, or something, if he finds out about it." "If he had the chance I just offered to you, he wouldn't worry about being late for any supper." "Because his mom isn't that good of a cook. If she was my mom, I wouldn't worry either." "Just don't do it with anyone else before you do it with me." She went in the kitchen and got some paper, then she wrote down her phone number for me. I took the paper, but I didn't know whether I'd call her or not. There was something about her that still scared me. I wasn't sure why. Maybe it was how she took everything for granted. She reminded me of how Kate might be if no one was there to stop her from doing things. When Eileen talked about doing all of that, she didn't make it seem that good to me. It was her whole attitude or something. I left, got on my bike, and rode home. I thought I'd get mad at myself for not doing it with her, but I didn't. I wanted it to be fun when I did it, exciting, and thrilling. Not just something that you do because it is on your list of things you haven't ever done yet. Eileen was only thirteen years old, but she was already jaded. I didn't ever want to get like that. I got home and got cleaned up for supper. My mother had made stuffed mushrooms, beef paprikash with a sweet cucumber salad. Because of her business, my mom didn't cook that much anymore. When she did really cook something, which was usually on Sundays, I wasn't going to miss out on it. After supper, while Kate and I were cleaning up and doing the dishes, she asked me whether I thought Clara was going to forgive her in the coming week. I told her that I had no idea, because it was completely up to Clara. Then, I told her that she better be careful if she was forgiven this time, because I didn't think Clara would ever forgive her if she did something bad to her again. Kate told me that Bill had asked her to make up a story about going somewhere after school sometime, and then meet him somewhere. She said she was only telling me so that I could see she was changing, and could be trusted again. I told her I'd speak with Bill, and get him straightened out about things. ------- Chapter 16 Monday morning got started with a bang. Bill was waiting for me when I got to his block. I had already walked Kate to school, and when I turned onto Sycamore, I saw Bill standing on his corner, waiting for me. I was going to tell him something about staying away from Kate, but he jumped me before I even got a chance to say anything to him. He tackled me right there on the sidewalk, and then he just kept punching me, even after I told him I gave up. I'd never seen him so mad. It was only when he started yelling at me to stay away from Eileen, that I even knew why he was doing that to me. It was hard trying to get him to quit hitting me, and trying to talk with him at the same time. The more he hit me, the more upset he seemed to get. I don't know how much longer he would have kept pounding on me if some guy hadn't stopped his car in the street, and run over and dragged Bill off of me. My shirt was ripped, and my hand and the side of my face had gotten scraped up from the sidewalk. Bill didn't have any marks on him. I hadn't even hit him once. I hadn't even tried to hit him though. Even after the guy pulled him off me and held him there, I didn't feel that mad with him. I felt bad that our friendship was over though. I turned around to go home and get into some clothes that weren't ripped, and didn't have any blood on them. When I was done with changing my clothes, and had a chance to examine the damage in the mirror, I decided not to go to school anyway. I wasn't hurt that bad, I just didn't feel like facing people, and getting asked a million questions about what had happened. That night I had a difficult time explaining why Bill had beaten me up, and why I didn't want to go to school. My parents reacted just like I figured they would. It was Kate who surprised me with her reaction. "I'll never speak to Bill again, Larry, not as long as I live." "This wasn't about you, Kate. He did it because I gave Eileen a ride home on my bike." "That doesn't matter. He hit you, that's what matters. You've been his friend for so long, and then he beats you up without telling you anything first? That isn't right." "Are you confusing Bill with Clara?" "No, why would you even say that? Clara has a right to be mad at me. Bill didn't have any right, and he should have talked to you anyway, not hit you. He was being a bully." I didn't know what I thought. It seemed so easy for Kate to pick one side in this, even when it wasn't so simple, or that clear cut. I understood why Bill had done what he did. I thought he was wrong to do it like that, but I understood. Our friendship had been under strain and stress ever since my birthday party. Both of us had felt it. At some point, we had each become threats to the other. Eileen had only been the one that had brought it all to a head. It could have just as easily been Kate, or even Jane. It had been about all of them, and more. I wondered if Bill had felt as trapped by all that had happened as I had. On Tuesday, Bill was absent from school. Tuesday night, Eileen called me from Bill's house. She told me that she had just heard about what happened that day in school. She wanted me to know that she hadn't spoken to Bill before he attacked me. "Larry, I hope you aren't mad at me for any of this?" "I'm not mad at anyone, not even Bill. It was going to happen anyway probably. I'm sorry that it did happen, but not surprised by it." "Bill asked me to call you, Larry. He wants to talk to you. Can I put him on?" "I don't know. What does he want to talk about?" "You have to ask him. He just asked me to call you." "All right, put him on." "Larry? I'm sorry that I beat you up. You aren't hurt bad are you?" "No, I'm all right." "When you didn't come to school on Monday, I felt bad. I didn't even mean to fight with you." "What happened then? I mean, I'm walking across the street to join you, so we can walk to school together, and the next thing you're beating on me even after I said 'give'." "I told you why I was doing it." "Because of Eileen? Because I rode her home on my bike?" "That and some other stuff. What you said about Jane, and the way you've been about Kate and I." "Wouldn't it have been easier just to tell me you didn't want to be friends with me anymore?" "I know. I wish I'd done it that way too. I'm sorry for beating you up, and I don't want to be friends with you anymore." "I'm sorry you beat me up too, Bill. This seems like a lousy way to end our friendship, but I guess I agree with you too. So long." There is a finality about losing a best friend like that. As much as you might have wanted that too, it still hurts you. I went into my room. It wasn't even eight thirty, but my homework was done and I felt like going to bed early. In my head, I reviewed all of the missteps that either Bill or I had made to first endanger, and then ruin our friendship. I didn't cry, but I wanted to. My mom came into my room before she turned in for the night, and she sat on the edge of my bed, using her hand to push my hair away from my eyes. She knew how bad I felt, I could tell. "Laurant, don't you worry about this. When you are young everything seems so very important. When you get older, you will see that this was all for the best." I had no idea what she was talking about. It was the same thing I heard her say at a funeral once, to the woman whose husband was being buried. My mother told the woman that what had happened was all for the best. I'll never forget the look that woman gave my mother. I think there was something in her religion that she was thinking about when she said that. It was a stupid thing to say, but I think she meant well. Wednesday, Bill and I were both in school. We pretty much tried to ignore each other. Karen and Denise seemed to be acting the same way as Bill and I were. I asked Karen about it at lunchtime. "I heard about you and Denise at the movies, and later at her house. I thought you liked me?" "I do like you. Who says I don't?" "You don't act like it. Denise didn't help either, throwing herself at you like that." "I told Denise, and I'm telling you. I'm not going to talk about any of that. If you have a problem with me, over what I did with you, I'll discuss it. I'm not going to talk about any problems that you and Denise have though, or what Denise and I might have done." "Oh, don't worry. Denise already told me everything about it. She even accused me of letting you touch me down there, claiming that was why she let you." "I'm not going to say anything about her, and I didn't say anything about you. You two are just in some kind of silly competition that isn't good for anyone." "I'm not in competition, not with her or with anyone else. She might be, but I'm definitely not." "I'm not either. I guess you don't want to go out with me anymore, then?" "What do you mean? I never said that. Is that what you thought I was saying. It isn't." "Why don't I walk you home after school, and we can talk about it more on the way?" "Denise isn't going to like it." "I'll meet you out in front of school when the last bell rings." In sixth period, Denise came up to me to ask if it was true that Karen and I were going steady. I told her that I wasn't going steady with anyone. After school, Karen was pretty quiet when we first began walking towards her house. "Was it you who told Denise that you and I were going steady?" "I just did it to get back at her, and to see what she would do. I know she likes you too, but I hope you like me better." "I like you both. I don't want to go steady with anyone though. I don't like the way you and Denise are competing about this." "About you, you mean?" "I'm not a dog bone." "Are you saying that Denise and I are both dogs?" "No, I'm saying we don't all have to fight about who is going out with who, and what one of you is willing to do with me." "That's good, because I'm not like Denise." "I didn't say either of you were like the other one. I thought this whole dating thing was supposed to be people having fun together. Ever since it began, I've been losing friends, getting beaten up, and having people get mad at me, for all kinds of things. Where is the fun in all that?" "I thought we had fun up in the balcony, Larry. And when we were walking home too. You didn't think that we had fun?" "Yes, that was fun. It's just all the other stuff that seems to go with it. When we first went out, you and Denise were good friends. Part of it was that you started telling Denise what we were doing. Maybe that led to some of the the hard feelings?" "She did way more than I did. She didn't have to tell me either, but she did." "That's what I'm talking about. It is all that talking that causes the problems. There are some things that are better not to talk about with your friends." "Well, it's too late now. Denise isn't my friend anymore." "That doesn't make me feel better, Karen. It makes me feel worse. Now I feel guilty, and I didn't mean to do anything to make you two get into a fight." "It wasn't all about you, Larry. Denise has this attitude that she is better than other people. When you point out to her the things she does that aren't better, she gets all upset about it." "Maybe you shouldn't point them out to her. Sometimes that works better." "Can I ask you one thing?" We had gotten to her house when she asked me that. "Depends on what it is?" "Did you take your thing out, and let Denise touch it? She said you did." "Look, Karen, I already told you I wasn't going to tell you things about any other girls, or about other dates that I had." "I know. But, I really need to know if she's lying." "You'll have to ask her then. I'm done talking with you about Denise. Why don't we talk about Karen? What would you like me to do with you?" "I don't know. Which way did you mean?" "I meant that you seem awfully anxious to find out about Denise and I, but you never seem to get around to you and I, and what you'd like to do with me." "We aren't on a date now, Larry. You just walked me home from school is all. Are you talking about a kiss?" "No, Karen. I'm not talking about anything in particular. It's just that you don't seem very interested in what we do, but very interested in what Denise is doing. I wonder if you and Denise shouldn't be dating. That way you wouldn't have to tell each other what went on." "That isn't funny, Larry. I don't think I appreciate your attitude either. Not one little bit." "I guess we're even then, Karen. I'll see you later." She stared after me as I walked away from her. I was really having myself a great week when it came to friends, both girlfriends and best friends. Since it was only Wednesday, I had another two days to piss off Denise too. I walked home. When I got home, Jane was in Kate's room with her. I knocked on Kate's door and asked Jane to please leave. When she asked me why I was mad at her, I told her that I wasn't, but Kate was on restriction and wasn't allowed to have any visitors. I walked her to the front door and watched her as she walked away. She did have a cute little butt on her. I put that thought out of my mind though, and went in to see Kate. "What did you think you were doing?" "She came over here on her own, Larry. She wanted to know what happened between you and Bill. I guess Bill never told her what he did to you." "Did you tell her?" "Just that Bill beat you up for no reason, and that you aren't friends with him anymore." "How come you took her to your bedroom?" "Not to do anything if that's what you think. Do you think I do things with every girl I know?" "How would I know? Do you?" Kate laughed. "No, not all of them." I remembered Denise's sister, Trudie. "How about Trudie Bowman?" Kate broke out in a big smile when I mentioned Trudie. She looked right at me for awhile, long enough for me to think she wasn't going to answer me. "I never did anything with her, but she told a bunch of us that she did it with Tommy Lampkin when she was only ten. No one believed her at first, but she knew some things that made us wonder if she wasn't telling us the truth." "What kind of things?" "Like where his dick went, and what Tommy did after he put it in her." "Does she know about what you and Clara do?" "No. You didn't say anything to her or Denise did you?" "You know I'd never do that. I don't go around talking to people about other people's private business." "Clara talked to me today. She said hi, and then she asked me if I was ready for the Geography test." "What did you say to her?" "I told her hi too, and then I told her that I thought I was ready for the test. Do you think this means she is getting ready to forgive me?" "I don't know, Kate. It seems to me that it's better than not saying anything. That's how I'd look at it at least. Doesn't it seem like it to you?" "Yeah, a lot better. I hope she does forgive me. It's so hard for me to see her, and still not be able to say anything to her." "You know those peanut butter cookies the two of you like so much? Why don't you bake some tonight, and put a small plate of them on her desk tomorrow?" "Can I? I thought you wanted me to wait for her to forgive me first." "It would be like you telling her you love her, without actually talking to her. If she accepts the cookies, that's another good sign for you." Kate started crying again. I was really going great with everyone I came into contact with. She got up off her bed though and gave me a big hug. She was still shaking from her sobs and tears. Well, at least she wasn't mad at me too. That made me feel a little better about things. At eight o'clock, Karen called me. "Hi Larry, I got your number from Denise. I wanted to explain to you about today. After you left, I thought about what you said. I didn't understand what you meant when you asked me what I wanted to do before. I thought you meant like how far I'd be willing to let you go. Later, after what you said just before you left, I knew what you meant. You meant what did I want to do with you as far as dating and stuff. Right? To leave Denise out of it, and to talk about you and me, and what we might want." "It was something like that, yes. I don't feel comfortable with the way you two are more concerned about what the other one is doing. I want it to be mostly about what you and I want to do. Or, if I'm with Denise, what she and I want to do. The way it's been, when I'm with you, it's like Denise is peeking over your shoulder at us. When I'm with you, I know she is going to be hearing all about what we did." "She and I had a long talk on the telephone, after you left my house today. We both agreed not to discuss you or anything about you from now on." "Well, that's good then. Now we have to do something so that you two have something not to talk about. Do you want to go to the movies on Friday night?" "I think the Saturday matinee would be better for me, and Friday night is good for Denise." Now what the hell were these two up to? Did they divide me up between them? "What if I already have a date for Saturday?" "Really? That would spoil everything then." "What do you mean?" "Denise can go out on Friday night, but she can't go out on Saturday, because her family is going to some kind of awards dinner for Denise's big brother. My parents are going out on Saturday. They'll be at my Uncle Jim's house in Canton, until after ten at least." "Why a matinee?" "Why do you think?" "I have no idea. They show kid's movies or westerns at the matinee, and they close off the balcony. Not only that, it is a double feature and there are a bunch of cartoons and serials." "We can go to my house after the early movies though. The regular movie would be over too late." "We don't have to go to any movie, or else we can go to your house first, and then go to the regular movie." "I didn't think of that. I suppose you could come over for lunch or something, and we could go out later. Is that what you'd like?" "If it means we get to spend some time together, then sure, that sounds good." "Do you promise to be good?" "At your house you mean? Do you mean good like in keep my hands to myself, or good like in don't jump on the bed, good?" "I'm not sure. I just said it because I'm nervous. Sometimes, I just say things because I think I should. Even when I don't really mean them." "You mean you don't really want me to be good?" I mean come over for lunch on Saturday and we'll find out what I meant then." It was almost eight thirty when I got off the phone with Karen. Five minutes after I hung up the phone, Denise called me. "Hi Denise. How's it going?" "Good, Larry. Karen and I made up this afternoon. She called me when you got off the phone just now. I called to ask if you wanted to go to the movies with me on Friday?" "Will it just be you and me?" "Yes, no Trudie this time." "I meant Karen." "No, we worked that out too. We don't discuss our dates anymore. She does what she wants to, and I do what I want to." "In that case, sure. You want me to come by and pick you up?" "If you could. Six thirty? I don't want to have to sit under the projector again." "I'll see you at six thirty on Friday, Denise." The next day in school, Denise and Karen were back talking to each other just like before their fight. I passed Bill in the hallway, and he nodded to me. I had lunch with Karen. She told me that she was going to make us a nice lunch. She asked me whether I preferred spaghetti or chili? I asked her what she cooked best. She said she liked both of those things when she made them, but that maybe her chili was a little bit better than her spaghetti. I told her I'd prefer the chili then. My weekend was really starting to shape up. I started wondering if I should call Eileen to see if she wanted to meet me at the park on Sunday after dark, just for a talk. On the way home, I stopped off at the drug store and bought some rubbers. The lady at the counter was glaring at me, but Mr. Nichols, the druggist, came over and told her to go clean up in the back. He sold me the rubbers and put them in a bag along with a receipt. ------- Chapter 17 When I got home from school on Thursday, Kate was waiting for me, outside our front door. Clara was with her. I hadn't truly realized how sad and dejected Kate had been until I saw the difference in the way she looked and carried herself when Clara was once again with her. Clara, on the other hand, looked at me with a mixture of embarrassment and defiance. I wanted to make this as easy for her as I could. I'm certain that she felt like she was weak in my eyes, and had given in to her 'needs' by agreeing to forgive Kate so soon. I had lived with Kate through this for the past three weeks, and, to my mind, she had been punished enough. If she hadn't learned her lesson this time, she probably wasn't going to. "Hello Clara. I'm really glad to see you around here again. Maybe now Kate will appreciate what a wonderful friend you are, and take special pains to protect, nurture and preserve your friendship." Maybe that was laying it on a little bit thick, but I really wanted her to know that I approved of her giving Kate another chance, now. My opinion of Clara had risen dramatically because of how she had handled this. She had handled things better than I ever would have. We all went into the house together. "Can I speak to you, Larry, in private?" I looked over at Kate, but she was already turning and heading back to her bedroom. Perhaps Clara had warned Kate about wanting to talk to me when I got home? I waited until I was sure that Kate couldn't hear me before speaking. "This is a good thing you're doing, Clara. Kate has been miserable without you as her friend." "I'm worried about what you said, Larry, about it looking like I gave in because I was desperate for going back to what we do together. I don't want her thinking that I'll just accept anything she does to me from now on. I couldn't take too much more from her, not that way. Did you really mean it when you said you'd do what Kate does to me, if I couldn't help myself from needing it? I do need something, Larry. I don't want to come right back like this, and then immediately go back to the way things used to be with Kate. I'm not feeling very strong right now. If I'm alone with her, I don't think I could help myself. Can you help me?" "Sure, Clara. Whatever you want from me. If you'd rather, we can all just sit out here in the living room. You can sit on the sofa with me, and I'll make Kate sit over on that chair. We'll all just talk. You and I can also go into my room together now, but that would sure look like we were excluding Kate, which would make her feel bad. We could try sitting out here first, and then, if you still feel like you want to, or even if you just want to pretend we are doing something, we can go into my room. I think Kate might accept it that way better. I think it would be better if she didn't feel like you were rejecting her friendship, just the intimacy part for now." "Except I already know that I want to try that with you, Larry. If I knew that you could make my weakness around Kate go away, I'd feel a lot more comfortable around her. I just don't want her to think I need her so much that I'll let her get away with anything. I want to let you do it to me with Kate there too, just like she did it to me, with you there. Let her see what it feels like." "Are you sure, Clara? That might be hard for her. I think she misses you that way even more than you miss her." "I'm sure. We need to get started so we can be done before your mom gets home. I want to do it in Kate's room, Larry. That way, if your mom does come home early, we can pretend that we were doing our homework and you came in to help us with it." Clara sounded pretty sure of what she was saying. She must have given this all a lot of thought. I wasn't that sure it would be a good idea for Clara and me to do things right in front of Kate. She might think of it as more punishment, and rebel against it by doing something that would get everyone into trouble. Kate had a tendency to disregard her own peril when she got sufficiently mad about something. When we were younger, she would often tell on herself too, just to make sure that whoever she was mad at got their share of the blame as well. I had told Clara that I wanted to learn how to lick her though. I really did too. I had seen how strong an effect it had on her, and when Kate had asked her what she liked better, being licked or finger banged, she had picked being licked without any hesitation at all. As hot as she had been when I was playing with her pussy, I wanted to learn about something that could get her hotter. It was partly because of this anticipation, that I agreed to it. The fact that my dick was all swollen up and hard didn't help with any reasoning powers I might have brought to it either. Clara and I walked, holding hands with each other, back to Kate's room, and I knocked on her door. Kate opened her door up, and noticed right away that Clara and I were holding hands. "Are you done with your private talking?" There was a combination of hurt and anger in Kate's tone. Even after everything she had gone through, there was a part of Kate that still felt that everyone was treating her unfairly about all of this. We ignored her comment and simply pushed ourselves into her room. "Kate, Clara and I want to fool around together a little. We want to use your room in case mom comes home early. We think it would seem natural to mom if you and Clara were in here studying and I had just come in to help you with a school homework problem. Do you mind?" "I do mind, Larry. Clara's my friend. If she wants to fool around, she can fool around with me." "I don't want to do that Kate. I don't feel like doing anything like that with you right now. If you won't agree, then I'll just go home right now, and Larry and I will find some other way to be together later." Kate already had tears in her eyes. She could turn them on whenever she chose, at least that is how it now appeared to me. "Don't do this Clara, I've changed, I really have. I know it was wrong what I did and I'm really sorry." "Kate, I don't care right now. This is what I want, and it's with Larry. If you want to be my friend, you'll help us. If you don't help, then I guess we really weren't friends again." I personally thought that Clara was being too mean with the way she was talking to Kate. Clara was the one that had to decide what was enough for her though. I stayed out of it. Inside though, I felt bad for Kate. Over the past few weeks, I'd had a chance to see how much Clara's friendship and love had meant to her. Under almost any other circumstances, my first instinct would have been to comfort Kate, to reassure her that things were going to turn out okay very soon. I didn't do that though. Kate had been given an ultimatum. She needed to decide what to do by herself. She had worked herself into this situation, now she had to decide what she was willing to do to show that she would be willing to atone for it. Clara seemed like she was as strong as I'd ever see her be around either Kate or me. She was definitely showing some backbone right then. It was Kate who gave in to this contest of wills. "Don't go home, Clarabelle, I'll do whatever you say. Do you want me in here with you guys or out in the hall, listening for mom?" "Stay right here. You can watch and see if Larry does a good job or not." Clara started things, by first taking off her skirt, and then her little pink panties. She put her hand down between her legs and gave herself a brisk rubbing before reclining on the bed and spreading her legs and drawing up her knees. This apparently wasn't going to be something we were going to work our way up to. Clara's face was already pink from her embarrassment. Kate was standing there, looking at her. I could sense that she wanted to be where I would soon be. I didn't have to undress. I went over to the bed and lowered a knee to Kate's rug which was placed in front of her bed. The linoleum we both had on the floors of our bedrooms got cold in the morning. Kate had a little three by four white rug that she kept right by her bed so that, in the morning her feet didn't touch that linoleum before she remembered to put her slippers on. When I was down on both knees, I leaned my head in until my face was right above the vee that Clara's legs were making. The way she was spreading herself, I could see that the lips of her pussy were a little bit opened. Inside, it was a dark pink color. I'd never seen a pussy this close before. There was a little bit of smell, but not as strong as what we had at the movies when Kate and Clara were making out. It was the same smell though, and similar to what you could smell up in the balcony after the movie got over. I leaned in a little closer and took another good sniff. I liked the smell, although it wasn't something that you'd normally classify as a good one. I put my tongue out, and tentatively touched her pussy lips. Clara jumped a little, and behind me, I heard Kate moan out loud. It tasted a lot less than I thought it would. There was a tiny hint of pee or something a little bit acid, but I started running my tongue up and back on her pussy, like I had done with my hand before, and all the taste of pee disappeared. What taste was left, I really liked. I knew that Clara was getting wet herself. I felt it on my tongue and tasted it as well. When my tongue moved all the way up and touched her clit for about the sixth or seventh time, Clara moaned for the first time. I started trying to put my tongue inside her hole, and from there, moving up to lash out at her swollen bud. After awhile, I would go back down and try to get as deep in her hole as I could. When I came up to lick right on her clit this one time, Clara's hands grabbed me in the back of my head and pushed me closer to her. This squashed my tongue flat against her clit. Clara really seemed to like this, she kept a tight hold on my head and started thrusting her hips up at my face. My nose kept getting smushed in her pubic hair, and I couldn't breathe as well as I needed to. I started trying to get a breath in through my open mouth, but this made me pull in my tongue, and break the contact with Clara's clit. Clara grabbed at my hair, and started using my face as her personal wash cloth. I took a couple quick breaths, and then stuck my tongue back out as far as it would go. Clara adjusted herself again, this time so that she could use my tongue as the main pressure point on her clit. She was moaning almost constantly by then, and soon after went into an orgasm. I had read about these, and even felt Clara have a couple under my fingers before. Then, I had felt her contractions on my fingers. This time, it was much stronger, and lasted for a long time. Most of this time, Clara was continuing to move around on my tongue. I could hear Kate behind me, moaning, and making other sounds. The same kind of sounds that I made sometimes in the shower when I was having a particularly good cum. I would have bet anything that her fingers were busy in her own pussy while she watched us. When Clara released my head from her tight, two handed hold on it, I looked up at her face, but she was looking over at Kate. There were tears in her eyes, and running down off the sides of her cheeks. I moved my head back up and away from her, and tried to stand up. I was unusually weak, unusual that is, until I realized that I had cum too, sometime during the time when I was licking Clara. I honestly couldn't remember when I might have done it. I think I was about to leave the room, but Clara got up from the bed herself, came over to me and started kissing me, and then, started licking all of her juices off of my face. I had seen her do this with Kate in the movies, but this time it was much more erotic than when I had just been watching. When she was done with cleaning me up, she gave me a French kiss that seared directly into my soul. No other kiss I had ever gotten affected me like that one did. Even when the kiss had ended, we stayed together, both hugging the other tightly. As far as I was concerned, I'd have stayed just like that with her forever. Clara released me though, and stepped over to Kate. She and Kate shared a kiss. I had no doubt, as I watched the two of them, that this was every bit as torrid as what Clara and I had shared. When it was done, Clara came over to me and took my hands in hers. "Walk me home, Larry?" I nodded that I would. Clara started getting dressed, and while she was, Kate hopped over and hugged me tightly. "Thank you, Larry." "For what?" "For helping to make it possible for Clara to forgive me. I don't know if I could have stood much more of this, or even this much without your help. Clara was dressed now, and it was only Kate that still had her jeans and panties down around her ankles. Kate quickly got her jeans and panties back up and fixed around her waist. Clara gave Kate another hug, and another kiss, this one more of a peck, and she and I left Kate's room together. I walked her home, it wasn't that far anyway. "That was really good, Larry. As good as Kate does it. You surprised me a little bit. I can feel it still, even when I'm walking. Was it okay for you? I mean you didn't hate doing it or anything?" "No, it was great. I loved feeling how strong you reacted to what we were doing. I made a big mess in my underpants too. I'll have to take them off and wash them out in the shower. If you ever want that again, just let me know. I can use all the practice I can get." "Tomorrow, I want to come over and spend the night with Kate. Are you all right with my doing that?" "Do you mean if I'm going to be jealous, or if I'm going to think it's too soon to let her be with you like that again?" "You'd be jealous?" "A little bit, probably, more like envious of Kate." "That's the nicest thing you could have ever said to me, Larry. It really makes me feel good. Do you think it's too soon for me to let Kate be with me like that?" "No, I think it's the perfect time. I think you've really forgiven her, and I think she has probably learned her lesson. It's obvious now, that you both really love each other." "I love you too you know, Larry. Even more after today. Now, a lot of things that were only pretend before, seem real to me." "I appreciate that, Clara, and you are beginning to grow on me too. The thing is that we are both way too young to make any big committments. When we're both grown up though, you better watch out. That is especially true it you really do get a body that turns out anything like your mom's. You want to know the truth? I've really enjoyed the body you already have." "Now, that really is the nicest thing you've ever said to me." She turned into me and gave me a big hug and kiss. It was in full, broad daylight, and we were out in the middle of a fairly busy street. I wasn't embarrassed by it though. In the last couple of hours, our relationship had really been changed. I felt that we were a lot better friends than we had been before. I could even see myself falling in love with her someday. ------- Chapter 18 Friday, I spent my lunch period sitting with Karen. She knew that Denise and I were going to the movies that night, and she was trying hard not to bring the subject up with me. She started talking to me about how much she was looking forward to having me try out her chili. She asked me if I preferred my chili over rice or over French fries. I told her it didn't matter that much to me, but I had never had it over French fries before. Right before the lunch period got over, she asked me if I would walk her home again that afternoon, after school let out. I didn't see anything wrong with that, so I told her I would. An hour after I told Karen that I'd walk home with her, Denise came up to me asking me why I was walking Karen home, when it was supposed to be her day with me? I looked at her with a puzzled expression on my face. "You are going out with me tonight, right?" "That's right. I'll be at your house at six thirty." "But, you're still planning on walking Karen home?" "Yes. What does that have to do with you and me going out tonight?" "Can't you see what she's trying to do? She wants to keep you thinking about her, when it is your night to be out with me." "Denise, if you'd asked me to walk home with you today, I'd have been happy to. You didn't ask me, and she did." "So, if I asked you to come over to my house tomorrow morning and take me out for a walk, before you went to Karen's house, that would be fair to you?" "Sure, why not? What difference would that make?" "Would you?" "Come over tomorrow morning and go for a walk with you?" "Yes." "Sure. How about we go out riding our bikes somewhere? We could go for a nice ride out to Cheltham Corners and back. I could come over early. We'd need to be back at your house by eleven though. Should I meet you at your house at seven thirty?" "I can't tomorrow. We're leaving too early, and I need to get my hair done in the morning. I just was trying to show you how it isn't fair for Karen to get you to walk her home on my day." "You know, Denise, I really thought you and Karen had worked all of this out before. I think I told you that it makes me uncomfortable to see you two acting this way." "She started it. We had it all worked out before, except now she has lunch with you almost everyday, plus, she asks you to walk her home when it's my day." "I can see what you're saying now, Denise. I didn't see it the right way before. I'll walk her home today, just because I already told her I would. Tonight though, after the movie, I'm going to give you all of the kisses and the touches I would have given her on Saturday, in addition to the ones I was planning on giving you anyway. How late do you normally get to stay out on a date?" "I think I can stay out to twelve o'clock, maybe later if I had a good reason to." "Tell your parents that we might all go out to Frank's for something to eat after the movies. See if they will let you stay out until one." Frank's was the local kids hang out. They served hamburgers, fries, hot dogs, sandwiches, fountain drinks and ice creams. "Suppose they won't let me stay out that late?" "Then I guess I'll have to give Karen whatever is left over that we didn't finish. If you want, we can do all the best stuff first, and then what's left won't be that important. Just some kissing and hand holding, things like that." "Are you going to tell Karen that I got her kisses and stuff?" "You know I don't talk about what I did on a date. It will be our secret. Unless you decide to tell her about it. It would make me real mad if you did." "Wouldn't she get suspicious if I took all of it?" "I can't help that Denise, fair is fair. She had no business horning in on your day like this." "That's exactly how I see it too, Larry. This will teach her a lesson. I'll ask my mom if I can stay out until one." After she left, I marveled about how gullible she was. She wasn't just satisfied, she was beaming when she left. Could she possibly believe that I had a list of things I was planning on doing to Karen, that I would now do to her instead? I couldn't believe she really would buy my story. After school I met Karen out in front. She took my hand in hers and pulled it over her head so that my arm was now wrapped around her shoulder. We started walking over towards her house, but she was walking a lot slower than normal. "Larry, I know you are going out with Denise tonight, and that is part of the reason why I wanted you to walk home with me. I guess I'm pretty jealous, and worried that you might like her more than you do me." When she finished, she stopped and waited for me to answer her. This was starting to really bother me. I'd told both of them that I didn't want them constantly competing with each other like this. It wasn't flattering to me like they may have thought. It was irritating. I knew that none of this was really about me. I could have been a dress on sale that they were fighting over. Each wanted me more because the other one wanted me too. If I picked one of them over the other one, the one I picked would probably lose interest in me real quick. "Karen, I'll be honest with you. I think that Denise is willing to do almost anything I want her to do, if it meant I'd pick her over you. She hasn't said that, not in those exact words, but there have been some clear signs that she is thinking that way." "I was afraid of that. She promised me she wasn't going to do that. I knew she was lying though. It isn't fair either, she knows I'm not like her that way. She's already far past what we've done together. I already made up my mind that I wanted to see you like she did, and to touch it with my hands too. She's going to go way past that now, I just know it." "She probably is. Even if she lets me do it to her though, I'd still like to keep going out with you afterwards." "I'm not sure I could do that, Larry. Not if she went all the way with you. How could I compete with her when she did that?" "Well, maybe I'm wrong about her. She never told me anything specific that she'd do. The other thing is that I wouldn't tell you about what Denise and I did, even if we went all the way. When I get over to your house tomorrow, you'll probably be dying to ask me what happened, but I won't be able to say anything. Maybe we should just cancel our date tomorrow. It wouldn't be fair you not knowing what Denise and I had done." "I don't want to cancel our date, Larry. I've been planning on it almost the whole week. This might be our only chance when nobody else is home. I told you what I was going to do with you. Don't you want me to see you? I've never seen one, not up close, not on a grown boy. Denise told me it was a lot bigger than the other ones she's seen." "I'm not going to be talking tomorrow about what Denise and I did tonight. Don't even ask me to. When I'm with you, I want to only be thinking about being with you." We had come to her house again. She looked at me, waiting for me to tell her something reassuring. I was still waiting to see what she would say. She had my hand in both of hers, and was twisting my ring around in circles. I finally got tired of waiting for her to clarify things further for me. "So, I'll see you tomorrow at around noon?" "Larry, if you do it with Denise, could you at least tell me that you did?" "No. If it bothers you so much, why do you want to go out with me?" "I'm not sure why. I do though. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" I waved to her, and started walking away from her. These two girls were becoming difficult for me to understand. I was thinking that they would get together on the telephone, compare notes, and then, both decide to give me the brush off. I found myself not really caring whether they did that or not. ------- Chapter 19 When I got home from school, Clara and Kate were sitting together in the living room. From the guilty looks they both had on their faces after they heard someone coming in the front door, I'd guess they had been kissing and making out together. Clara jumped up from the sofa and came walking over to me. "Can I talk to you for a few minutes in your room, Larry?" I looked over at Kate, but she was smiling, and didn't seem upset by Clara's request. I took Clara's hand and led her back to my bedroom. When we were both inside, I closed and locked my door. I turned so I was facing Clara, smiling at her as I did so. "Alone, at last!" She giggled at this. "What did you want to tell me?" "Will you kiss me, Larry? Real kisses. I want to compare things, with you, and with Kate. She keeps asking me which things I like better. I've been telling her that I'm not sure." "You should tell her to quit asking you. You know Kate, she's going to keep pestering you if you answer her this time." "Well, I'm curious about it too. Don't you want to kiss me?" I moved closer to her, taking her in my arms, and leaning my head down to hers. I started out slow, but, soon, we were both involved in some major tongue swapping. She has a warm mouth, and it seems to fit my tongue better than any other girls that I had kissed like that. I don't know how long we kissed, but it started while we were both standing up, and it ended with both of us laying on my bed entwined together, with me laying on top of her. We hadn't done anything but kiss up until this point, but I had my crotch nestled right against hers. She was wearing a full, pleated, skirt, and her legs were spread open enough to allow me to be laying between them, right in a correct position for sex. I took one of my hands and started to lift myself off of her, but she stopped me, then reached up and pulled my face down to hers again. I started feeling up her breasts then, paying attention to her raised nipples while we kissed. I also started moving my pelvis around, grinding myself into her crotch with my own. She didn't try to stop me, but she wasn't being that responsive to what I was doing either. I didn't want to frighten her, so I just went back to kissing, removing my hand and lifting my crotch up so that most of my weight was on my knees and arms. When we ended our kiss, I moved up and off of my bed. She made no attempt to stop me from getting up this time. "Does that answer your question about whether I want to kiss you?" "Yes. I still don't know which I like the best though." "If you don't know, that must mean there isn't that much difference to you. If there was a big difference, you'd know which you liked best." "I can't tell Kate that, Larry." "Tell her that you like hers a lot better than mine then. I don't feel like Kate and I are competing for you. You have your relationship with her, but the one that you and I have is completely different from that. You don't need to choose between us. Not as far as I'm concerned. If Kate feels like she is secure with you, she won't need you to choose either." "Kate knows how I feel about you already." "Then, I've got an idea. Are you ready to go back out in the living room?" Clara got up off the bed, and I told her I'd like to put my hand on her pussy for just a minute. She looked at me funny at first, but then she grinned and told me to go ahead. I lifted her skirt up and put my hand under the raised hem and cupped her mound. I moved my finger around and slipped it under her panty leg hole. Her pussy was wet, just like I thought it would be. I ran it up and down her slit a couple of times and then removed my hand and put my finger in my mouth and sucked all the juices off of it. Kate let her skirt down again. "It was wet when you got home, Larry." "I figured it might be, but I wanted to check for myself. That wasn't the idea I mentioned though. My idea is to help you get Kate to be less competitive, and to stop her worrying about you and me." We went back out to the living room. "Kate, she likes your kisses better than mine for now. In a couple more years though, that might change. You should keep bringing it up to her, and asking her about it though, because it makes her curious to find out for herself. I started out thinking she wasn't grown up enough for me, but the more I kiss her, and feel her titties and pussy, the more I'm starting to think she is grown up enough. A few more trips to my room with her, and I'm probably going to ask her to go steady with me. Thanks for your help." Kate looked over at Clara anxiously, wanting to see how Clara reacted to my words. I went to Clara and kissed her neck a little while I rubbed across her nipples with only the palms of my hands. I put my lips next to her ear and whispered to her that I'd love to suck on those big nipples of hers. I felt her pressing back against my crotch. When I let her go, she turned and gave me a kiss, then went over and helped Kate get up from the sofa. The two of them headed off to Kate's room, and I went in and took myself a shower. When I came out of the bathroom, I heard moans coming from Kate's room. I thought they better get a lot quieter, just in case my mom came home early, but I didn't knock on their door or anything. I went into my room and tried to decide on which dress pants I wanted to wear to the movies. It was going to be cold out, but I still wound up picking out the thinnest pair to wear. They were a dark blue pair of slacks. I put them on without any underwear underneath. I put on my longest coat over it, just to make sure it hid everything from view. When I was in the shower, I hadn't played with myself at all. I was already pretty hard, and without the coat, the lump from my dick was easy to see. I looked in my mirror, wanting to make sure that Denise would have no trouble finding it. I felt it through my pants, and was satisfied with the effect I'd created. I took my pants off, and got out some clean underpants and put them on. At dinner that night, everyone was in a happy mood again, especially Kate. She and Clara sat next to each other, and it was so obvious to me now that they were more than friends, that I wondered why I'd never noticed it before, and why my parents didn't think anything was strange about it now. In the half hour we were seated at the dinner table, Kate and Clara must have touched each other at least fifty times. I actually kept waiting for my parents to remark upon it, but they seemed not to notice anything out of the ordinary. I wanted to get through quickly so Kate and I could do the dishes and clear off the dining table and I could head off for my date. Kate announced that she would do the dishes with Clara tonight, so I could leave for my date. I could see that Kate's good mood and this act of thoughtfulness had impressed my mother. She got up from the table and came around to hug Kate. I went into my bedroom, after thanking Clara and Kate, and took off my underpants. As soon as I was dressed again, I put the underpants in my coat pocket, just in case. I walked over a little bit early, and picked up Denise. While I waited for her to be ready, Trudie stayed in the hallway, keeping me company. She was acting a little bratty, asking me impolite questions about my plans for her sister that evening. Asking if we were going to go up in the balcony to make out. I was afraid one of her parents would overhear her talking like that and start asking me questions as well. I felt like I had to do something to get her to quit being so bratty. "Tommy Lampkin told me he knows you real well. How is it you know him?" Her face went into a full blush. She backed away like I had slapped her or something. "Wwwwwhat dddid hhhe sssssay aaabout mmmmme?" I had never heard her stutter before. She seemed suddenly very nervous. I wanted her to quit teasing me about what Denise and I were going to do on our date. I didn't want to really upset her. "He said... Well, I forget what he said right now, but if you keep teasing me and asking me questions, I bet I'll remember, and then I'll tell Denise what he said." "Hah! Denise did it with him too." As soon as those words were out of her mouth, I could tell she regretted blurting them out like that. "I can remember what he said in front of your mother then. Or did SHE do Tommy too?" The look she gave me would have left me dead and smoking from the flames. She looked like she hated me, and she also looked deathly ill at the same time. I think she was playing, in her mind, the different scenarios that might take place if I had this talk with her parents. I don't think any of those scenes worked out very well for Trudie. She was scared. "Trudie, if you just leave me alone, you have nothing to fear. I'm just trying to get you to stop being such a little brat." "Don't tell Denise what I told you. Please? I didn't mean it anyway, it isn't even true." "Don't make it worse by lying to me. You know it is true." She hung her head and said nothing else to me. She acted like she had been totally defeated. "Trudie, stop worrying. I won't tell her that you told me." She looked up at me, and I could see the hope in her eyes. Just then, Denise came into the hallway. She looked nice. She had done something to her eyes and eyebrows, and she was wearing a nice shade of red lipstick. She looked older than she had in school. "Hi, Larry, are we ready to go? We don't want to be late and have all the good seats taken." "You sure look nice, Denise. I'm ready. Thanks for keeping me company Trudie." Once we were outside, I put my arm around Denise and we started walking pretty quickly towards the theater. It was already getting pretty cold out. In fact, my dick had shriveled up from the cold. I hoped it wasn't going to stay like that. We got to the movies and I bought our tickets. I asked Denise if she wanted anything to eat or drink, but she said no, citing a big dinner which she had finished not long before. We got to the balcony, and there were still a lot of good seats. There were only about five couples there when we went up the stairs. I found us a pair of seats over along the wall, three rows from the back. We took them and made ourselves comfortable. I took off my coat, but kept it in my lap. While Denise was shrugging out of her coat, I unzipped my fly. I didn't want to do it later, when there were people sitting next to us. The balcony filled up quickly right after we sat down. Even after all of the seats were taken, Couples climbed the stairs, saw there were no empty seats and went back down again. When the feature movie started, it was a Ralph Bellamy movie, one of those murder movies with, everything filmed in low light. Denise and I had already been kissing, and my dick had gotten warm again and was getting hard too. I reached my hand under my coat and fished it out of my pants. I did it while Denise and I were kissing, so she didn't even notice it. As soon as I got the chance, I took Denise's left hand and pulled it to my lap, under my coat, and put it right on my cock. She was real surprised and tried to pull her hand back. I held it right where it was though. She was looking all around us, afraid that someone might notice where her hand was. In a short time, she relaxed and started rubbing it and stroking it with her hand. When I was confident that she would keep doing that, I went back to kissing her and getting my own hand under the hem of her dress. She resisted it a little bit, but not so much that I thought she really wanted me to stop. I finally got to her panty again, which was as far as we had gotten our first time. "Are you going to open your legs a little bit, Denise. I can't touch anything this way?" I whispered this in her ear while I tried to get my finger between her thighs, which were pressed tightly closed. All of this time, she is actively playing with my dick. She is squeezing it and pulling at it. "This is enough, Larry. There are people who can see us." "They're too busy doing what they want to. Nobody is paying any attention to us. I want to get a good feel of your pussy. Open up at least a little." She loosened her legs just a little, not enough for me to do too much more. At least I was able to get one finger down so that I was actually touching her. I started moving the finger up and down, hoping to stimulate her enough that she would open her legs for me some more. She was still playing with me, so I was hoping that this was helping my cause as well. She did relax her legs a little more, enough for me to have three fingers worth of width down there to work with. I continued rubbing her, kissing her also. I managed to finally worm one of my fingers under her leg hole, but when I did, she stiffened right up, tightening her legs again so that my hand was restricted totally. We were at an impasse. I couldn't go forward, I also couldn't retreat. We stayed just like that for about two or three minutes, neither of us willing to admit defeat. "Larry, you shouldn't be doing that to me." "Why not, Denise?" "It's too fast. Maybe the next time, if you are nice to me." "If you don't open those legs up, there might not be a next time." I had whispered that to her, but she pulled her ear away from me like I'd shouted it at her. "Why did you say that to me? I was being nice to you, and then you get all mean to me. I don't like that, Larry. I'm not going to let you talk to me like that either. Move your hand!" She opened her legs and I took my hand away. Still, she had her hand wrapped around my cock. She wasn't rubbing it or anything, but she had it in a good grip. "We were having such a good time, Larry, and then you went and spoiled everything." "We can leave if you want to?" "I won't leave if you promise to be nicer to me." "You aren't being nice to me. You've been nicer than this to other people." She took her hand off my dick after I said that to her. "I have not. What do you mean?" "Don't pretend that you don't know what I mean. I don't like it when you act all innocent like this. I heard about you and Tommy." "You let me out, I'm going home right now! I'm not going to listen to you telling lies about me." She said this loud enough that everyone in the balcony could hear her. Half the people up there were telling her to shush up, and the other half were laughing and trying to goad her into saying even more. In the meantime, I'm trying to get Denise to wait long enough for me to at least put my dick away, before standing up to let her get past me so that she could leave. I couldn't remember being this embarrassed before. I finally had to let go of her arm, use both hands to put my dick away, and re zip my fly. The guy next to me made a rude comment, which made more people laugh at me. As soon as Denise cleared the row, and got out to the aisle, I got up and started after her. I caught up with her just as she was opening the door in the lobby to leave the theater. "Come on, Denise, don't leave like this. We need to talk about this. What are you going to tell your parents if you go home right now? They are going to be curious about it and ask you questions. Let's go back inside and sit down and watch the movie. I promise I won't even try to talk to you. When the movie is over, I'll take you straight home, I promise." Denise hadn't tried leaving after I caught up with her. Maybe she had already thought about what I had just told her. I felt like she just wanted me to try convincing her a little bit more. "I'm sorry for what I said. I shouldn't have said anything like that to you. I was just excited, and a little bit frustrated." "It hurt me when you said that, Larry. I never thought that you'd listen to a rumor like that one. Tommy has told people that story for over a year now. It never happened. I'm still a virgin. He made the whole thing up." "You should sue him then." "I would, except then my parents would have to hear that rumor too. I don't think I could stand it if they thought I had let Tommy do it to me." "So, you never let Tommy screw you, it is all just a pack of lies that he is telling?" "I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to watch that movie either. Let's go somewhere. I need some air." She opened the door and had gone outside before I could stop her. I put my coat on and went outside to be with her. It must have been about five or six degrees colder out there than when we had gotten to the theater. I'd say it was about twenty degrees outside. I hadn't even brought gloves either. When I looked for them, I found my underpants. I hurried over to Denise. She was walking over towards Frank's place, away from the direction her house was in. When we got there, it was already packed. We went in and I bought two vanilla Cokes and a big order of fries. We had to sit at the counter because all of the booths were full. At least it was warm inside. We already had our drinks, and were waiting for our order of fries. Denise wasn't looking very happy. Finally, she turned on her stool so that she was facing me. "Did Karen tell you about Tommy?" "No. She wouldn't do something like that. She knew?" "It's complicated, Larry. It isn't something that you go around talking to people about. I told Karen about it one night when we were at her house for a sleepover. I never thought she would betray my confidence in this way." "She never did, Denise, I swear. She never said anything about you like that. You must know that Tommy has a big mouth, right? A while ago, we were at the swimming hole, a bunch of us guys, and a couple of the boys made fun of Tommy for his skinny, well, you know. He got all defensive and embarrassed and he said a bunch of stuff. I don't think anyone believed him though. Later, after Bill, Tommy and I were the last three guys left at the swimming hole, he told us about this thing with you and Trudie. That's where I heard it. Bill and I both told Tommy that he shouldn't tell that story anymore, because of how young Trudie was." I didn't like lying to her, but I'd promised Trudie not to tell Denise that she had blurted it out to me. This was the only story I could think of right then to tell her. The only one that would explain things in a halfway believable way. I really wished that I hadn't ever begun any of this. Normally, I don't think I'd have said anything to her like that, but I was upset with Denise and Karen for the way they both had been acting around me. I knew this was a pretty flimsy excuse, but I needed something. If not, I would just have to admit to myself that I was a selfish prick and had put my own sexual desires ahead of Denise's pride and her sense of well being. I was floundering around, looking for some way of justifying what I had done. I wasn't very happy with myself. Finally, our French fries arrived. We both picked at them. I liked catsup on my fries, with plenty of salt and pepper. Denise liked hers plain, just like they were served to us. She took a napkin and took out about half of the bowl for herself. At the rate we were eating, our fries would get cold before we were half finished with eating them. After awhile, we both gave up on those fries, finished our drinks and left Frank's. It was cold out, so we stayed close and started walking towards Denise's house. "Was that the reason you started asking me out, Larry? Because of what Tommy said?" "No, it really wasn't. I asked you out because you were always nice to me, and you were friendly. You were the first girl I ever asked for a real date. I was so nervous, mostly because I was afraid that you'd laugh at me, and then turn me down." "I did everything to try to get you to like me. Some of the other girls used to tease me because I was being so obvious about it." "I just thought you were being nice. I didn't really get interested in girls until just recently. In fact, when Tommy said that stuff about you, I remember wondering why anyone would even want to do those things. I guess I'm a retard about stuff like that." "I never liked Tommy. If he says I was his girlfriend, then that is a lie. The whole thing was so stupid. It was the summer before last. I was thirteen, and Trudie was ten. Tommy is about my age, I think he is three months younger than I am. His sister, Mary, was eleven, and she was a grade ahead of Trudie, but they were both real good friends with each other. "That summer, Trudie spent a lot of time with Mary, over at the Lampkin house. I went with her sometimes, mostly because I was so bored hanging around our house. That thing with Danny Phelps had happened the previous summer, and my parents didn't want me going anywhere by myself. I think the trouble I got into is what made Trudie so curious about seeing a boy's penis, because she knew that I had seen Danny's. One day, Trudie, Mary and I were alone in the Lampkin house and they started asking me a bunch of questions about what it had really been like. "It was just the three of us girls, and Trudie already knew most of the story, and had told whatever she knew to Mary, so I started telling them all about it. I told them about some of the things that Danny and I did, things besides just showing things to each other. Mary told us that she and Tommy showed themselves to each other, and she said they had done even more than Danny and I had done. I don't know why, but when Tommy came home that day, we let Mary go ask him if he wanted to come into Mary's room and show all of us his penis. What happened after that was really stupid. We all took our clothes off and started doing touching things. All the girls touched Tommy, and then he touched all of us back. We did it for a few minutes each, all three of us taking turns with Tommy. Then, Mary bent over and Tommy got behind her and put his thing into her. They both said they had done it lots of times before, and it was really fun. Trudie wanted to let him do that too, but I told her not to. She went and did it anyway. Trudie is a dancer, and her hymen was already ripped from that. Tommy put it in her, and moved in and out for a few times, and Trudie said it had felt good. "Danny and I had never done that together, we had talked about it, but we were both too scared. The most we did was once when he put a finger up inside me, and that had hurt really bad. It had made me bleed when he did that, and I was real sore afterwards. Because it hurt so bad, we never did it again, and then he moved away. Danny was my first boyfriend. I wish now that he and I had done it instead of me letting Tommy. "So, anyway, both Mary and Trudie had done it, and I'm more than two years older than either of them. When I refused to try it, they all made fun of me, so I went ahead and let him do it to me. It was only for a minute, and then I moved away from him. That was the only time. I never went back to their house. Trudie went back to Mary's house a few more times, then Mary got into a fight with her, and they stopped being friends. I don't know if Trudie and Tommy did anything besides that one day, but I sure never did." I listened to her story. I knew very well how you could get talked into doing stupid things. Like that time with Bill and our sisters, or the time we broke all those windows on that abandoned house. I guess all kids do stupid things at times. I told Denise I had done things that I wished now I hadn't of. I even told her about vandalizing that house, and how much my parents had to pay the bank in order to keep me from getting a criminal record. "Did you ever do it with a girl?" "No. Once I probably could have, but I was too scared to. I licked a girl once, on her pussy." "Really? I've heard of that. I'd never let anyone do that. Why did you do it?" "I saw one girl doing it to another, and she really liked doing it. The other girl said it was the best thing she had ever had done to her. I wanted to learn how to do that too." "Was this the same girl you said you could have done it with?" "Yes, but that's all I'm going to tell you about who it was. You know, that is one of the reasons we got into this big fight tonight. I was mad at you because of this thing with Karen. It seems like neither one of you like me that much. You just want to see who can get me." "That isn't true, Larry. We both like you, a lot. It's a good thing you never heard the things we say to each other about you. The reason we fight each other like this, is because we both like you so much. Tonight, when we were in the balcony, the main reason I couldn't open my legs any further was because I didn't want you to see how much I do like you. My panties were so wet, I was worried they would seep through and get on my new dress." "I was excited too, Denise. I wanted to put my fingers inside you. Mostly, so that I could taste you on them later." "Stop it Larry, you're doing it again. You better take me home before I do something that I'll regret later." "I'm sorry that we had that fight Denise. I really wanted for us to both have a good time tonight." "Tomorrow, you'll be spending the whole day with Karen, over at her house, too. That really scares me, Larry. If you and I were alone in a house for a long time, I just know something would happen." She was waiting for me to deny that anything was going to happen over at Karen's house. "Are you going to do it with Karen if she lets you?" I think she knew that I wasn't going to answer her question. We were only about a block from her house, and it was too cold to stand around talking. We had to keep moving. We came into sight of her house. "Let's sit in my parent's car, Larry. I don't want to go inside until we've talked some more." She led me up her driveway and we both got into the front seat of her family's car. she shut the door behind us, and it made a loud noise, but, maybe, that was just to my nervous ears. The last thing I wanted was to have her father or mother come out and ask us what we thought we were doing in their car. Out of the wind like we were, it wasn't as cold. Our breath quickly fogged up the windows though. In about a minute or two we couldn't see out any of the windows. That meant no one could see in either though. I was sitting behind the wheel, and I locked my door and the back door behind me. Denise followed my lead with the two doors on her side. We smiled at each other after we did that. I looked at my watch, it wasn't even ten o'clock yet. "What time do you have to be home by?" "My mom said I had to be in by twelve thirty. How about you?" "My mom never said. I'm sure I can stay out until that late. It's only a little before ten, so we have lots of time. What were we talking about?" "We can't do any more than kiss, Larry. In case my parents heard the car door. Did you really mean what you said about tasting me on your fingers? I seem to be having a hard time getting that thought out of my mind, that you would want to do that." "I wish it was your house I was coming to tomorrow, with no one but us there. I'd lick it right from your pussy. If you'd let me." "If we were alone, and I knew no one was going to come home, and if I was warm, I think I'd let you. I know I'd do it right now if I wasn't so worried and so cold." "I'm warming right up. Too bad my hands are so cold. It would be like putting a popsicle up there." "I think it would melt pretty quick, if it was a popsicle. That's the only place where I don't feel cold. In fact, I feel real hot there." She took my hand and started blowing on it, and rubbing it with both of hers. Soon, the friction started improving my circulation, and I felt some warmth returning to my fingers. Denise might be talking about us only doing some kissing, but what she was doing to my hand looked to me like she had something a lot more intimate in mind. When my hand was warmer, she took it and put it under her dress and placed it on her thigh. I could feel by the way she flinched that my hand was still too cold to be comfortable to her. I leaned in and started kissing her then, moving my hand back and forth on her leg as I did so. My hand got warmer, and so did her thigh. Her mouth was already warm, but it got warmer too. When I started moving my hand up her leg, she opened them wide enough that I would have smooth sailing right up to the honey pot. She even scooted her butt forward and tilted back a little, so that things would be lined up better. After this, it was a simple matter of getting under her panty leg and curling my fingers so that they were right at her wet opening. I pushed into her gently, savoring our first squishy encounter. It wasn't at all difficult for me to get in past the second knuckle. The way she held my arm at the elbow and pulled it towards her, it wasn't difficult for her either. Within another minute, I had two fingers playing in her juices, and stirring her tight little pot. We broke our long kiss and I removed my hand from underneath her dress. I brought my hand to my mouth and started sucking her copious juices off of my fingers. She just watched me as I did that, a shy smile on her face. We spent the next hour like that, us kissing, and me with my hand buried beneath her dress, licking her juices off my fingers from time to time. Denise took my dick out of my trousers after a few minutes, never letting go of it for the whole rest of the time I spent fingering and kissing her. "No more, Larry, we have to quit, I can't take anymore." My fingers were getting tired, and I had kissed her so much that I was sure my lips and tongue were going to be sore the next day. I took my hand away from her pussy, and licked my fingers for a final time that night. My watch said it was fifteen to twelve. We had been kissing and making out for almost two hours, non stop. I put my dick away, and unlocked the doors on my side. Denise did the same on her side and we got out on her side. I was going to shut the door as quietly as I could, but decided to leave it open for a few minutes to allow the smell inside to dissipate into the very cold outside night air. When I did shut the door, I did it as quietly as I could, although it still sounded loud to my ears. I walked Denise back around to the front of her house. We spoke for a few minutes, right at her front door, then I leaned in close and gave her one final kiss goodnight. I wondered if she had been trying to tire me out, hoping that I'd have nothing left in the way of kisses for Karen. If she had been trying, I wondered if she had succeeded. I got in my house at a little past twelve. I was heading to my room when Clara came walking out of our hall bathroom, the one that Kate and I shared. I looked down the hall to my parent's bedroom, and the door was closed. Clara followed the direction of my eyes with hers, and a smile lit up her face. She moved over to Kate's room and closed her door too. I opened up the door to my room, and she walked right in ahead of me. She was dressed in this long flannel nightie. I closed my door as quietly as I could, and then twisted the lock closed. Clara sat down on my bed and watched me get undressed. When I finally pulled my slacks down, her eyes got wide when she saw I hadn't been wearing any underwear. My cock was at full staff by the time it came into her view. Clara lifted up her nightie, showing me that she wore nothing underneath. She moved up until her head was on my pillow, and just laid there, her nightie pulled up around her neck. All of her charms were on full display. Her nipples were fully erected, all I could think about was how much I wanted to taste them. I got on my bed on one knee, lowering my self on top of her. I soon had one of her nipples between my lips. It wasn't very long before I heard how much she liked this. I decided to kiss her to make her be more quiet. When I finished the kiss, Clara smiled up at me. "I know what you had for dinner, Larry." "French fries?" "No. I think you ate some pussy." I'm certain that the look on my face gave me away, even if the juices on my lips and tongue already hadn't. Clara was laughing at my discomfort. "Could you taste Kate on me?" "I never thought to check. Besides, I don't know how Kate tastes." I went back to kissing her and then moved down so that I could lick her. I'd been thinking about licking a pussy for a couple hours already. Twice, I had to cover Clara's moans with my hand over her mouth. When I was done, Clara asked me if I had gotten any rubbers yet. I nodded that I had. "Are you sure you're ready for that?" "I've been thinking about doing it with you since this afternoon, Larry. I've been waiting up for you since ten. What took you so long? Never mind, I know. But, yes, I'm very sure." I went over and got one of my rubbers out of the wooden box I kept my crystal radio in. I had made it myself when I was a Cub Scout. The box, not the radio. The box had a false bottom in it. It had hid most of my secrets in it, like the first knife I had that I had traded some football trading cards for. I got a rubber and opened the wrapping on it. I was so nervous, I took several attempts to get that wrapping opened up and off of the rubber. Clara was sitting up on the bed watching me. I gathered up the wrapping, and put it all into my false bottomed box. I replace the false bottom board carefully and then returned to the bed. Clara held out her hand for the rubber. Like me, she had probably never seen one before. My dick was anxious to get started. Clara handed me the rubber back and I tried to remember what they had shown us in Health class about putting one on. I finally just gave up on remembering, and tried to put it on the wrong way. I figured out quickly what I was doing wrong though, and was finally able to get it on the right way. I remembered not to put it on all the way at the tip, so that my cum would have a place to stay. I was just about ready when Clara suddenly told me that she had changed her mind. I could see that she was really upset, so I told her not to worry about it, it was all right. She then asked me if she could jack me off while I fingered her pussy. So, that is what we did. the first time I ever came into a rubber, it was sitting on my bed with Clara beating me off. You know something, even if I was slightly disappointed, it was still a lot more fun than me doing it to myself. I took off the rubber carefully, not wanting to make any mess. I put on some PJ bottoms and had Clara wait behind my door while I opened it to make sure no one was in the hall. It was all clear, so I motioned to Clara and I went into the bathroom while she snuck back into Kate's room. I flushed the toilet three times to make sure that rubber would stay flushed. When I got back to my room, I climbed into my bed and went right to sleep. I wasn't disappointed in how the day had gone, or in how it had ended. I still felt a little bit bad about the way I had treated Denise earlier, but I thought that even that had turned out okay in the end. ------- Chapter 20 I didn't wake up until ten fifteen the next morning. I had told Karen that I'd be over at her house before noon. I took a quick shower to wake myself up, got dressed, and went out into the living room. Kate and Clara were both on the floor, watching television. Clara was on her side, and Kate was behind her, resting her chin on Clara's butt. My mom was in the kitchen, and I finally found my dad out in the back yard, shaking the crumbs out of our electric toaster. "Papa, I need some money for the movies." I usually only called him papa when I needed something from him. Kate almost always called him that. He preferred papa to either dad or pop. "Larry, you've been going out a lot and spending too much money. When was the last time you gave your mama and me some money for that business with the house?" "I know, and you're right. I've been the one that buys movie tickets, drinks and food for Kate for the past month though. I'm going to work hard next summer and pay you back all of that money." "How much do you need?" "Can I get twenty dollars? That would cover all that I spent on Kate and her friend, Clara, at the movies so far." "You think I've got a money tree? You think I just reach up and pick the money off of the branches? Ten dollars, and no more. You better make your own money if you are going to be doing all of this dating." He handed me the ten dollars, which was about as much as I had really hoped to get from him. "Thank you papa." I left him so that he could go back to his banging on the side of that toaster. I went into the kitchen to see my mother. "Anyu, Apu just gave me half of what I need to cover the money I've spent on Kate so far. I've got a date today, and not enough money now to cover it." My mother loved it when I used any Hungarian words. "Get my purse, Laurant. How many times have I told you not to bother your father for money? You know how he gets. Now he'll be in a bad mood all day." I went and got her purse and she gave me five dollars from her wallet. "What's this? Five dollars won't even cover the movies and the snacks." My mother narrowed her eyes at me, but I didn't back away. My hand was still out, and I wasn't going to let her hard eyed stare sidetrack me from my mission. "I've had to spend four times this much on Kate and her friends, just taking them around with me." If I counted the money I had spent on the movie date with just Clara and I, that was true. My mom grabbed the five dollar bill out of my hand, and replaced it with a twenty dollar bill. "Go give your papa his money back now. Don't ask me for any more money for the rest of the month either." Happily, I went out into the backyard again. I had a plan to increase my wealth. "Papa, I told mama about the money you gave me, and she says I have to give it back to you." "Did your mama say why you need to give it back?" "She said giving anyone money makes you get in a bad mood all day." I handed him the ten dollars back, turning away as I did it. "Larry, take this instead then. Your mama is always saying that I'm too cheap. I'm not cheap, here." He thrust a twenty dollar bill at me. I had no choice, I had to take it, because my mother told me to always do what my father told me to do. I knew that they would get together later and discuss this, because that's what they always did. My father would go in the kitchen soon, and tell my mother that she didn't know him as well as she thought she did. When she looked at him, he'd brag about making me take the twenty dollars. My mother wouldn't tell him about the twenty that she'd given me too. Later, when he wasn't around, she would talk to me about it, and I'd tell her that papa had insisted that I take it. She would tell me that I should have come back and given her back her money. I'd tell her that I thought the money she gave me was to repay me for what I had already spent on Kate and her friends, and my dad's money was for the date that I'd told him was the reason for me asking him for money in the first place. Believe it or not, my mother would always accept that kind of an explanation, and that would be the end of it. I went back to my bedroom and got another rubber out of my crystal radio box. I also picked up the wrapping from the rubber I had used the night before. I was going to throw it away somewhere, somewhere between my house and Karen's. I had originally planned on riding my bike over to Karen's, but I didn't know if it would still be light out when I started to head back home. It was only a fifteen minute walk anyway, so that is what I decided to do. I got to Karen's a little before noon, and she opened the door wearing a dress that was the kind my mom and Kate wore when they were cleaning the house. It wasn't the kind of dress someone would wear to go outside the house. Karen looked around outside, at all the neighbors houses, after she had let me in, and I had walked by her. "We have a lot of nosy neighbors, but I didn't see anyone looking out their windows." "Will you get into trouble if your parents find out that you had a boy over while they were gone?" "Only a little bit. They never told me that I couldn't have school friends over today. I already told them that you were taking me to the movies later." We went into her living room and I walked right over to her sofa and sat down on it. She excused herself and went into the kitchen, after asking me if I wanted a soda. She came back, after a minute or so, with two bottles of Pepsi. She handed one to me, explaining that Pepsi was the only cola in the house. I told her that I liked Pepsi as well as Coke anyway. She sat down on the middle cushion of the sofa. She was about two feet away from me. "The chili will be ready in another hour, will that be all right? I've got the fries made already, and I'm keeping them warm in the oven for us. Did you and Denise have a good time last night?" "Yes, it was fine, although it was cold out when we walked home." "She called me this morning before nine o'clock. She kept asking me a bunch of questions about what I'd told you about Tommy Lampkin. I told her that I hadn't ever mentioned Tommy to you." "That's true. I don't remember us talking about him." "She also told me that she had told you everything about Tommy and Danny and all the things she's done?" "Karen, if you don't quit talking about Denise, I'm going to leave. How many times do we have to go through this? I don't want to talk about Denise with you, and I don't want to talk about you with Denise." "Why do you always say that? Denise and I tell each other everything anyway." "I don't like that either. It isn't any of your business what Denise and I do, and it isn't any of hers what you and I do. I don't like knowing that you two always tell each other what I've done with you." I got up from the sofa. Karen jumped up as soon as I did. "Okay, Larry. I'll shut up about Denise. I don't want us to fight about things all the time." "We fight because you ignore what I've told you. It's only simple courtesy to not do something that someone tells you upsets them. I like you, and I like being with you, but you seem to be more interested in Denise and me. Do you think we would all get along better if I just went out with Denise? That way she could tell you everything we had done, and you and I wouldn't fight anymore." "Or better, you and I could go out, not Denise, and I could tell her what we were doing." "I'm leaving, Karen. This whole thing is getting me very upset. I'll see you in school on Monday." I started walking towards her front door. It was my honest intention to just leave her house and walk back home. I think she thought I was kidding or something. She didn't say anything to me until I got to her front door. "Larry, if you leave, you'll be sorry. I have big plans for us today." I put my hand on her doorknob and turned it, opening the door. "I had big plans and high hopes for today too, Karen, but I'm not in any mood to keep putting up with your continued rudeness." I walked out her door, and started walking towards my house. I hadn't gotten very far, less than a block, when Karen came running after me. She had put on a heavy coat, at least, before coming out into the cold, windy air. She yelled at me to stop as she half ran, half walked towards me. I stopped walking to allow her to catch up with me. I wasn't looking forward to the two of us having a big argument out in public, but I didn't want to run away from one either. "Larry, please come back so we can talk at least. I've made all of that chili for us. If I say I'm sorry, will you please come back and talk to me?" "Karen, you don't listen. It's almost like you've decided that what I want, what I have to say, isn't important to you. I've got a sister who is like that, and I don't want to have to deal with even more of that with my girlfriends too." "Girlfriends! Not girlfriend like everyone else. With you it always has to be the plural. Denise and I were both wondering whether she and I were your only girls. Maybe you have some other girls that you take out during the week?" "Karen, that isn't anybodys business but mine. It isn't any of my business who you go out with besides me. I'm not trying to find out what you've been doing. We aren't going steady, so why would it matter?" "It does matter! It matters because I really like you. Every time you go out with Denise, it almost drives me crazy with worry that she will sleep with you before I can. After she does, you will probably stop going out with me, just because of that. She already said she wants to do it with you. If you come back, I'll let you do it with me right now. I've never done it before, Larry, but I'll let you do it to me if you will just come back to my house." I took her arm and turned us both around, walking back towards her house. "Karen, I don't want to do it with you. If you did it with me now, it would just be so you can place some kind of obligation on me because I did it with you. The way you've been talking, it would be like I was taking something from you that had all kinds of strings attached to it. If we ever did go all the way, it would be because we both want it so much we can't resist doing it. I don't feel that way right now, not about you, and not about Denise either. I'm not going to take advantage of that offer you just made me. I won't do things like that, just because I can. I know this first time should be important to you. I'm sure you wouldn't want to have your first time be when you weren't really thinking clearly." We got to her house, and we both went inside. I took my coat off while she took hers off and hung it up. I kept mine near me, because I wasn't planning on staying very much longer. I sat back down on the sofa and waited for her to come join me. She came back, but this time she sat on the cushion on the other end from where I sat. "You don't want to do it to me?" "No, not today, and never like this. I like you, Karen, and I'd still like you if we never did it together. You act like it's some kind of race that you are in with Denise, but, to me, it isn't. I've never done it with anyone either. It is scary for me to think about doing it too. I've done a lot of other things, and I'm pretty sure that I'm going to go all the way someday soon, but not before I feel sure about it being the right time, the right place, and the right girl for me. I came very close once, but she changed her mind right before we did it. I was ready then, but she wasn't." "Was it Denise?" "No. Denise and I haven't gotten close like that. We've only gone out twice. Today is only our second date too." "Yes, but you've walked me home twice, and we've had lunch together four times already. All of those count." "What do they count towards?" "Towards our relationship. Towards how the other girls know that we're going out together now. That's important." "I never learned how any of that stuff worked before. Like when a boy asks a girl out, and she says no, people tell the guy he shouldn't ask anyone else again until after enough time goes by that people forget he asked that other girl. I've never understood that either." "No girl wants to go out with a boy when she's his second, third, or even fourth choice. If she tells him yes, it just shows how desperate she was for a date." "Suppose, she likes the boy, and was hoping he would ask her out, even before he asked that other girl?" "She tells him no, but makes sure he knows that she would really like to go out with him the next week. Maybe she tells him that she has something she can't get out of, or else she'd have said yes." "To me, that is all very stupid. I know guys that asked two or three girls out on the same day, got shot down by all of them, and have never asked any girls out since. Then, there are guys like me who put off asking anyone because they were afraid they would get turned down too." "That's plain silly, Larry. I bet every girl in our class would have gone out with you. Of course, that's if they weren't already going with someone else." "Would you have gone out with me if I'd asked you back in September?" "Yes. I've liked you since even before we had that fight, Larry. I've liked you longer that Denise has, and she's liked you for more than a year and a half." "With Denise, I sort of knew she kind of liked me from before I ever asked her out. I thought you hated me though." "No, except for maybe two or three days right after you called me a big, fat, idiot in front of all my friends." "This whole thing, you girls, and dating and trying to understand how you all think, has got me all mixed up. Two months ago, I didn't have anything big to worry about, and now, I'm worried all the time. I liked it better when I wasn't always afraid I was going to mess things up." "It's a lot easier for boys than it is for girls, Larry. You don't build everything around one thing like we do." "Boys?" "No, it's more than boys, but boys are a big part of it. It's about style. That includes everything. It's how you dress, where you live, who your friends are, which boys like you, how popular you are with different groups. One mistake, and a girl's reputation is ruined. Boys don't have to deal with any of that." "For us it's sports, who gets picked first or last when they are choosing up sides. We have to worry about where we live too, and what clothes we wear. The worst thing is it is up to the boy to try to find a girl to go out with him. Boys have reputations too, just different than a girls reputation. We have to fight or be called chicken. We have to do things that other people did, or else we aren't as cool as they are. Do you know how many times guys picked fights with me because my mother made me come to her dance school?" Karen got up to go check on the chili. We had been sitting there talking like two normal people, for the past hour. I had gotten over being mad with her. Karen came back to tell me that it was time to eat. She gave me a big bowl, about half filled with French fries and told me to use the ladle to add in the chili. It smelled good. I put salt and pepper on the fries and then dumped a lot of chili on top of it all. Karen brought me some grated cheese, and some raw diced onions to throw on top of all of it too. When I threw the onions on, she made a face at me. We took our bowls into the living room, and then ate off of the coffee table, sitting down on the carpet. Karen went back and brought us two more Pepsi Colas. Her chili was really spicy hot. I liked it. In my house, my mother cooked a lot of spicy Hungarian dishes. "What do you think? Is it too hot for you?" I was going to tell her that it was just right, but then I noticed that I was starting to sweat on both my upper lip and my forehead. I felt my face beginning to flush. I had already eaten about half of the chili by the time she asked me that. "Do you have any milk?" She smiled knowingly, and then went off to get me a big glass full of icy cold milk. I ate the rest of the bowl, using two bites full of chili, then one big drink of milk, as my ratio for chili to milk intake. Karen went and got me a refill on the milk. When I finished, I was really feeling the heat. My mother made chili, but not like this one. Karen ate her whole bowl of the chili, and didn't seem to have any problems. I wondered if she hadn't done something to make the top part of the chili hotter than the rest of it. "My dad's chili makes even me sweat, Larry. He uses a lot more peppers than I do. You get used to it after awhile. Those onions only make it seem even hotter. You should have sprinkled on some of that cheese too, it would have helped." I couldn't help wondering why she hadn't told all of this to me before I did all those things the wrong way. I finished the last of my second glass of milk, and got up when she did, to go carry our bowls and glasses back to the kitchen. I stayed in the kitchen with her to keep her company while she put everything away, and rinsed out the dirty dishes and glasses. I had offered to help her, but she told me it would be easier if she did it herself, while I just stayed in the kitchen and kept her company. She teased me a little when I started drinking large amounts of water directly from the faucet. When she was done with the clean up, we went back into the living room. This time, while I sat in my usual place, she sat down next to me. She was no more than six inches away from me this time. Now that I've fed you, Larry, you owe me some kisses." "Is that the rule here? After you eat, you have to kiss the cook?" "That's the rule." "I don't think I'll be coming over to eat some of your dad's chili then. However, I might come back on a night when your mom is cooking." I should have quit with the part about her father. I don't think she appreciated me saying that about her mother. Rather than allow her to say something that might get us fighting again, I kissed her. Even from the beginning, it was a good kiss. Karen was a big, solid girl. She wasn't at all heavy, but she was not even a little bit delicate in her build. In almost any kind of clothes, her butt looked very nice. We were locked together for a long time. Not with a single kiss, but we just never let go of each other or stopped making out. It was pretty easy to tell when Karen got hot. She squirmed all around when she was. After about fifteen minutes, she was sitting in my lap and I was kissing all over her neck and throat with one of my hands on her butt, and the other one kneading her left breast outside her dress. My dick was being rubbed by her squirming butt. She must have felt it, but she still kept moving back and forth on it. "Can I see it now, Larry?" I had been thinking for the last few minutes that this question was going to come up soon. She had already told me a couple of times in the past couple of days that she wanted to see it, and to hold it just like Denise had. I really didn't want to get into another argument with her about this, not with the way things had gone earlier. I couldn't ignore her earlier comments about wanting to do it because Denise had. In addition to that, I was still thinking about what she had said before, about letting me do it to her. Karen wasn't a girl that I felt it would be right to just screw, not even if she would let me. Funny as it is, it was for the exact opposite of the reason I had for not doing it with Eileen. Eileen didn't care, and Karen cared too much. "Why do you want to?" "I've never seen one. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. When I think about it, it really makes me hot." Good, she never mentioned Denise. She was either learning, or really trying to make an effort. "Aren't you hot enough already? When we were kissing, you couldn't seem to sit still then." "That's because I could feel you, on my butt. I'm hot, but, I still want to see it. If you show it to me, I won't try to touch it. I just want to see it." "If I show it to you, what are you going to show me?" "I already let you play with my boobs, Larry, and with my butt too." Okay, you can rub my dick then, but outside my pants." "You already showed... I mean, I really want to see it, Larry, just for a minute." "I really want to see your butt, Karen, just for a minute. Plus, you have to go first, without your panties." I didn't think she would go for it. She had made several comments about her butt being too big, and how I wouldn't like it if I saw it. In a way, that is what made me most curious to see it. With clothes on, it certainly didn't look that big to me. That isn't to say it looked at all small, just not too big. "Just for a minute, and then you show me yours?" "My butt?" "You know what I want to see." "You have to say it, Karen, do you want to see my dick?" "Yes, I want to see it." "You first." She stood up and turned away from me. Next she lifted up her dress hem and lowered her panties, which were white, down until her two butt cheeks were visible to me. "Can you see it?" I nodded that I could. "Yes or no, Larry?" She couldn't see my nod. "Yes, I can see it good. I looks beautiful, Karen, not at all big like you said." She had her legs so tight together, that all I could see was her butt. Her panties and her legs together prevented me from looking at her pussy at all. "Is it a minute yet, Larry?" I had no idea, It might have been. I hadn't been paying attention to the passage of time. I looked for another ten seconds before telling her the minute was up. She quickly pulled her panties back up and lowered the hem on her dress. Afterwards, she sat back down. "Now it's your turn Larry." "Do you want me to stand up like you did, or can I show you from right here?" "Here is good." I opened the button on my slacks and then undid the zipper. I opened it up as much as I could, but then decided I needed to take my pants and underwear down too. I lifted my butt off of the sofa, and pulled them both down at the same time, sitting back down as soon as I could. When I sat down, I heard Karen make a sound somewhere in the back of her throat. A coughing type noise. I sat there watching her looking at my dick. I was becoming an old hand at this. I checked my watch, assumed it had been fifteen seconds before I started looking at the watch, and counted off the remaining seconds. "Okay, times up." "Wait! I want to touch it now." "I get to touch yours too then." She looked at me and just nodded."You need to take your panties off or else I can't really feel you." She lifted herself up from the sofa and pulled her panties down, stepping out of one leg only. "How long do you want to touch it for?" "Can we just both touch at the same time until I'm ready to stop?" "You have to spread your legs, Karen, and lift your dress so I can see it. It would be easier if we were to take turns." "Okay, I get to go first this time." She reached out for me with her left hand, first checking to see if her hand would wrap all the way around it. It did, but only using the thumb and middle finger, and she was squeezing it to do even that. She made a few comments, like she was talking to a pet snake or something. Mostly about it being warmer and softer than she thought it would be. She didn't say anything about it's size. She did ask me about my not being circumsized though. I told her that my family didn't believe in it, probably for religious reasons. She put both of her hands on it and jerked on it a little bit. "Is this how you do it, Larry?" "Not that hard! You're going to hurt me. Be careful with my nuts too. Her hand had dropped down two or three times and hurt one of my nuts two times already. I reached down and showed her where I meant. After I showed her, she was a lot more careful. She let my dick go after a minute and forty six seconds. Then, it was my turn. I got up from the sofa, and she lifted her dress up. I went to my knees and helped her spread her legs wide enough for me to get a good look at her. She had brown hair over her pussy, darker brown than the hair on her head. I looked at her face to see how she was taking this, but she looked like she was just as curious as I was. I spread her pussy lips open, and her clit came into view. I seemed smaller than Clara's and it was hidden like a turtle's head inside the shell. Clara's had been mostly out of her little foreskin or whatever it was called. When I touched it, she pulled back away from me. I took my finger and wet it in my mouth, then moved it back to touch the area all around it. She didn't seem to mind it then. "You can kiss it if you want to, Larry. Denise said you wanted to kiss hers." I ignored her, trying to spread her a little bit more so I could see into her hole. There was a lot of pink skin there, but I couldn't find her hole. Where Clara's hole had been, there was no opening on Karen. When I put my finger there and searched around, I only found a tiny little tear in the skin, not enough to even fit my finger into. When I touched that, she complained that I was hurting her. I leaned in and pressed my tongue on it, licking it up and down. She didn't react much, other than taking a quick inhale of air when I first bent down there. I brought my tongue up and licked on her clit. She liked this a lot better. It was real easy to tell, right from the time when I first licked it. Karen opened her legs up wider and moved her hips closer to the edge of the sofa. She also started making noises through her nose. I looked up at her, and it was like she was straining or something. I went back to licking her some more. I must have done it for at least three or four minutes, but she never called time on me. I was the one who stood up and pulled my pants back up. Karen just lay there, not even trying to cover herself up. She put her hand down on her pussy, and I was amazed when I saw her make room inside herself for a finger. She was frigging herself with a finger. I didn't know how she did that. When I looked, I only saw that teeny little tear over on the side. It wasn't big enough for my fingers either. That was what her finger had disappeared into though, and she sure didn't seem like it had hurt her when she did it. "Is your finger in your pussy, Karen?"She looked up at me when I said that, and pulled her finger out, looking embarrassed as she did so. I put my hand right down on her pussy. "Show me how you did that. Use my finger though." She took my finger and brought it over to that same tear I had touched earlier. She carefully eased the tip of my finger in and then she started moving her hips a little sideways and forward and then sideways again. All that time, she is pushing gently on my hand, and my finger is sliding past. I could feel skin all around my finger, but when I lifted my finger up, I felt those uneven ridges, like a rough spot, at the top of her hole. They felt like Clara's, so I started to tickle them like I had Clara's. Karen liked that too, but she made me take my finger back out slowly. She told me that the hole had just appeared there one day. She said she first noticed it when she was soaping herself in the bathtub. I told her that she could open it even wider, slowly, over time, or open it all the way, all at once. She said that she thought it was already opened enough. "Not enough for me to put my dick in you." Her eyes got really big before I laughed and told her I didn't mean right now. She put her panties back on and then told me she needed to go get changed if we were going out to the movies at seven. I looked at my watch, but it wasn't even three yet. "How long does it take you to get ready to go out?" "I need to do something before I get dressed. I'll be out in half an hour." "You're going to play with your pussy, aren't you?" "Larry! I am not. I just need to take care of something." "I've got something I want to take care of too. You want to watch me?" "You mean it?" "If you let me watch you doing it to yourself, I'll let you watch me jerking off. I've got a rubber, so we could do it right here and not make any mess." "You mean really do it together?" "No, you do yourself, and I'll do myself. If we tried to really do it, like you said, it would get real painful for you, and messy too." ------- Chapter 21 "No, you do yourself and I'll do myself. If we tried to really do it like you said, it would get real painful for you, and messy too." "Can we go in my bedroom though? We could kiss a little before we did the other. It would be more romantic for us." We went into her room. It had a double bed and a single in it. Karen told me the single was for when she had friends over for sleepovers. Having two beds in the room made it seem too small to me. What I really liked was that there was a bathroom right next to her room. It was connected right to it, and also to the guest bedroom next door. She showed me that room, and it had another double bed. Being an only child, Karen's parents were protective of her, as well as indulgent. She wasn't able to go on dates until she turned fourteen, but she had hosted many sleepovers at her house where she and her guests took up both bedrooms and the floor. She told me that her sleepover party for her thirteenth birthday had fourteen girls sleeping at her house. "I've been hearing some stories about what you girls do at sleepovers, Karen. I thought it was all innocent like when guys camp out together in tents in the back yard. I heard you girls practice kissing and do other stuff together too." "I never did. Except for some kissing, when I was about eleven or twelve. There are some girls that like to do more, but they usually all hang around together, after awhile. Larry, let's take all of our clothes off and kiss on the bed." She didn't wait to see if I wanted to do that, unbuttoning her dress from the back and then lifting it off over her head like a pullover shirt. All she was wearing then were her panties and bra. She stood there, beside her bed, looking at me and waiting for me to start getting undressed. There was a look in her eyes, challenging me, almost daring me to undress with her. I started unbuttoning my shirt. Smiling, she reached back to unhook her bra. I took my slacks off, after first removing my shoes. I took my underpants off too, so that all that remained was my socks. Karen reached both hands into the waistband of her panties and pulled them down and completely off of her. I sat on the bed and removed my socks. When I was finished, Karen told me to scoot over to the inside of the bed, which I did. Karen climbed onto the bed herself, moving over to where I was and laying down halfway on me, and halfway on the mattress. We started kissing. Kissing when you are both naked is a lot different than when you have clothes on. For one thing, wherever you touch there is bare skin, and for another, everything is open and available to your touch. We hadn't been kissing for more than two minutes before I had my finger between her legs, rubbing her pussy, and she had hers on my cock, softly stroking it. I started kissing both of her breasts, including pushing them together so that I could lick both areolas and nipples at the same time. Her breasts were big and firm, but very soft and rubbery too. I started sucking on one of her nipples, and she really seemed to like that a lot. I rolled with her until I was on top of her, still sucking on her nipple. "Karen, can I just rub it on your pussy for a minute? I won't put it in you. I just want to feel what it's like." "You can put it in if you want to, Larry, I told you that before." I had my hand on my cock by now, and was trying to lean forward while balancing my body weight on my other hand and my toes and one knee. As soon as my cock touched Karen's pussy, she lifted her legs up in the air. When she did that, I looked down and saw that her pussy lips were opened. I could see that little tear in her hymen too. I put the head of my dick right where the tear was and then started moving it all up and down and around her pussy. When my arm got too tired from holding me up. I leaned up further, so that my dick was on her stomach, and lowered my body down on hers. We stayed like that for a long time kissing. At some point, I'm not sure which of us did it, but either she moved up higher on the bed, or I moved down lower, and my dick was back in contact with her pussy. She still had her legs held up, although her heels were back down on the mattress. I know that I was the first one that started moving. We were kissing, and Karen's arms were wrapped around me, so that her hands were on my back. When I started moving up and back, it made my dick slide up and back on the top part of her pussy. Then, she moved up so that it was touching her pussy even more. The more I slid, the better it felt. One thing was certain, my dick had never been harder. Her pussy was pretty wet too, and my cock was definitely leaking something itself. My cock slid easily, even though I still had a lot of my weight on her. Karen lifted her legs up until her feet were way up above us, and this made even better contact for the two of us. I had never felt anything as good as what we were doing. I'm pretty sure that Karen felt the same, because every time I slid my body up, she helped me with her arms. Every time I slid back down, she helped to keep me pressed down firmly on her, so that we could both feel maximum contact. She was making a lot of noises too. Encouraging noises, and groaning in pleasure whenever I slid along her clit on my downward slide. I was sliding up again when she suddenly lifted herself up even more, and my cock head pushed really hard against her pussy hole. Karen yelled at me to stop. "Larry, stop! Ohh, that really hurt. You almost went in me that time." "I'm sorry, Karen, you moved just when I was pressing down and moving forward. I didn't mean to hurt you." "No, that's okay. I couldn't help moving like that. It feels so good when you do that other thing. It doesn't hurt any more. Do that other thing where you slide up and back. Can you maybe do it a little bit faster too?" I settled back down like I had been before, this time I was careful to place the head of my dick above her clit so there was no way I could slip into her hole by accident. We went back to kissing and sliding, and then, Karen started cumming. This made both of us move around even faster, and, on accident, my dick slammed into her hole. This time, even though it had to really hurt her, Karen pressed me even more tightly against her. I could tell that she didn't want me to move. We stayed just like we were for a couple of minutes. I was about halfway in her, and I could feel her pussy still having little contractions around my dick. "I better take it out. I don't have a rubber on." "Just don't move for another minute. I'll tell you when to move it, all right?" I just nodded. I looked down at her face, and I swear she looked just like an angel. She was grinning at me, and her eyes had watered up. I don't think she was crying because it hurt her though. She seemed too happy for her to be in that much pain. "We did it, Larry. I'm not a virgin anymore." I was thinking that it didn't really count for me yet, because I hadn't cum. I hadn't even done any real moving in and out. Just in, and only about halfway in. There was no question though that Karen wasn't a virgin anymore. "If I leave it in, Karen, I should have a rubber on, because I'm leaking precum into your pussy." "Take it out then, but go slow, because it still hurts a little." Thinking it was like taking a band aid off, I decided it would be less painful if I just pulled it back out at the speed it had gone into her, fast. That's exactly what I did, which caused Karen to pout. "It felt better when it was in me, Larry. Now it's starting to hurt worse. Can you put that rubber on and put it back just like before? Don't put any more in though." This time, I had no trouble getting my rubber on. I guess the practice I'd had with Clara had helped me there. Karen winced a little as I was putting it back inside her. We went back to kissing, and, in a little while, Karen started moving her hands up and down on my back. I took it about halfway back and then started moving back and forth, in little two inch strokes. Now, I felt like we were really screwing. I started going in a little bit deeper, but not very quickly. It took awhile, but finally, it was almost all the way in, but I was hitting the bottom with her. When I started taking longer strokes, Karen started doing that thing again on my back, like she was urging me to do even more to her. I felt myself getting ready to cum, and really started going as hard and as fast as I could. I was at the point where all I could think about was cumming, and then I did. I reached down to try to make sure the rubber came out when I pulled out of her. I went into the bathroom and took it off and flushed it down the toilet. I washed my dick off in the sink, and then took a pee. Karen came into the bathroom to watch me take the pee. "I only ever saw my dad do that, back when I was a little kid." I smiled over at her. She had a little bit of blood on her thigh, probably from when I pulled my dick out. Other than that, she looked fine. "Do you feel okay, Karen? I hope it didn't hurt you too much?" "It didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would. It was like a really hard pinch at first, and then after, it felt like I was doing something when I was bruised. Mostly it felt really good, especially towards the end. I'm glad we did it." "I'm glad too. At first, I wasn't sure about it, because of all that other stuff. When it happened though, it felt like it was right for us. I'm sure we'll both remember today." "Now that I did it with you, are you still going to go out with other girls?" I knew this was coming. I had known it before I ever put it in her. It was the way her mind worked. It wasn't like she had even tried to hide it. "Why wouldn't I? I told you that I didn't want to go steady." "But, that was before. I thought if I let you do it to me, so you could see how much I like you, that you would change your mind about that." "Karen, that was my first time too. I enjoyed it more because it was with you, and not some girl that it wouldn't be as special for. That doesn't mean that we have to go steady. If you had said, you can do it to me if you want to go steady, I'd have said no. I did it because, right then, it felt like a good thing to do. If you did it only to try to force me to not go out with other girls, then you did it for the wrong reason." "Denise won't go out with you when she finds out we already did it." "I don't think that's true, but even if it is, that won't change anything. Before we get into another fight, Karen, thank you for your gift to me. It was as good as I'd ever hoped it would be. If it turns out that you get upset, and don't want to go out with me anymore, I just want you to know that today will always be special to me." "Are you breaking up with me, Larry?" "That's hard to do when we aren't even going steady. If you keep trying to make me behave the way you want me to though, I can see today being our last date together." "Suppose I stop asking you to not date other girls?" I smiled at her. I walked over to where she was and gave her a hug. "Karen, I really do like you. I like going out with you. The only way I'd stop being friends with you is if you made it impossible for me to be your friend. If you go out with someone else that you decide to go steady with, that wouldn't mean we couldn't still be friends. I don't want us to get into fights about these things. I don't want to go steady right now. If I did, I'd ask you. I might decide later that I do. Until then, I'd like to keep seeing you, but not as a steady girlfriend where we couldn't go out with other people." "Suppose I go out and let another boy do it to me? You wouldn't care?" "Sure, I'd care. I'd hope that you did it because that is what you wanted for you, not just because you wanted to get even with me. Sometimes, when you say things, it seems to me that you have to get things your way or you can't be satisfied. My sister is that way, and it causes her problems. I hope you don't have to be that way." "I didn't say I would do it with someone else. You're going to be doing it with other girls, like Denise, but I'm supposed to just wait for you to call me when you decide it's my turn again?" "I don't think that way. You can always say no when I ask you, or tell me to stop asking. I wouldn't expect you to keep going out with me if you keep being upset that I might be going out with other girls." "Are you going to tell anyone that we did it?" "Not unless you do first. If I hear from Denise or any of the kids from school, I'm going to assume that you don't care who knows about it." "I have to tell Denise." "Then, I have to tell Bill." "Bill Terry? He'll tell everyone! Why do you need to tell him?" "For the same reason you need to tell Denise." "I tell her everything." "Me too. If you tell Denise, I'll tell Bill. I know Bill can't keep a secret, so soon, everyone at school will know our private business." "Larry, you aren't being very nice." "If what I'm doing isn't being nice, then how come, when you do the very same thing, it is?" "If I tell Denise, she isn't going to blab about it to everyone." "Yes, that's probably true. Bill, on the other hand, isn't nearly as discrete. I guess you have to decide whether telling Denise is worth it when you know I'll tell Bill, and he'll tell anyone who will listen." "Suppose I don't actually tell her, but I say that you made me promise not to tell her, and what would happen if I did tell her?" I was growing weary with what was sure to be an argument I could never win. She was going to tell Denise, no two ways about it. "Karen does it mean that much to you? If it does, then go ahead and tell her. I won't tell Bill, or anyone else, but I'll think less of you if you do." "A lot less?" I had to smile. Karen was very single minded. "No, not a lot less, but still, some less. Aren't you worried that after you tell Denise that she'll want to get caught back up with you?" "She's going to do it with you too. She already told me that. This way, she will already know I did it with you first." After all of this conversation, nothing had changed from what we'd both felt in the beginning. We sat back down on the couch and started making out again. I really liked the way she felt to me. She was developed, and felt riper to me than Denise or Clara did. I liked Clara's personality and kisses, Denise's smile and pretty face, and Karen's whole body. If I could find one girl who combined the best of all three of them, I'd be ready to go steady with her. But, in the meantime, I enjoyed my time with Karen. We ended up with me licking her pussy on the sofa for about thirty minutes. This time, while I licked her, I also fingered her. she was a little tender, so I had to be gentle inside her, but my licking drove her wild. At six thirty we left for the movies. We were both so tired from all of our earlier activities that we sat down on the main floor. I fell asleep during a pretty good movie, Spartacus. Karen held my hand throughout the movie, I guess. We were holding hands when I woke up, just like when I fell asleep. I took her over to Frank's, and we both had hamburgers and a big basket of fries. I had a vanilla Coke and Karen ordered a root beer soda. The whole time, since we quit arguing right before I started making out with her on the sofa again, Karen had been very loving towards me. I think she must have known, even before she asked me, that I wasn't going to go out only with her. She seemed like she had accepted that now. She was relaxed and we had a good time after that. When I took her home, she asked me when I was going to take her out again. I asked her out for the next Friday night. After she said yes, she asked me if I'd have lunch with her all the next week, and walk her home when I didn't have anything else I needed to do. "Aren't those all things that will make people think we're going steady?" "Yes, but we would know that we weren't really." "Will that make it up to you, a little, that I don't want to go steady with anyone?" "Yes." "If I do that, you can't actually tell people that we are, if they ask you." "I'll tell them to ask you." She was smiling. She figured that she had finally found a way to use my distaste for commenting about these things to her own advantage. I smiled too. I really liked almost everything about being with Karen. Maybe I should try to bend a little ways in her direction too. Monday morning, I had gotten to school early. I wanted to try to see a counselor about whether I could take a higher level curriculum for the next semester. When I went into the office to try to make an appointment to see one of them, Doris Gindello, a student who worked in the office sometimes, asked me if it was true that Karen and I were going together. I told her that it was definitely true. I didn't think it would matter what I said. Karen and I would both know the truth about that. I actually thought I was going to just start a little bit of confusion about everything. In second period, Denise was sitting at her desk when I walked in. As soon as she saw me, she broke out in a bout of fresh crying. I knew it was only a fresh bout, because five other girls were circled around her, even before I walked through the door. When the bell sounded, Mrs. Trainor, our teacher, gave Denise a pass to go visit the school nurse. The rest of that day, I got nothing but dirty looks from most of the girls in my classes. Karen wasn't in school at all that day, and my life was about to get a lot more complicated. When I had fished the rubber out of my pants pocket over at Karen's, I had accidentally pulled out the other rubber wrapping from the time with Clara. I had just forgotten to throw it away on my way over to Karen's house. Karen's mom had found it on Karen's floor on Sunday, when she was in Karen's room gathering up her laundry to be washed. When she showed it to Karen, Karen admitted what she and I had done. Of course, Karen then called Denise to tell her how much trouble she was in. Monday night, Mr. & Mrs. Gless, with a crying Karen in tow, came over to my house to speak with my parents. This meeting took place in my living room with Kate there as well. Mr. Gless was really angry and kept threatening to beat me up. Mrs. Gless actually did slap me in the face right after I admitted doing what Karen had said we'd done. My mother didn't like that one bit. She had wanted to be the first one to slap me. She quickly satisfied herself with being the second one to slap me, but the first multiple slapper. My father pulled her off of me. The look he gave me wasn't very promising for my future well being either. The worst part, after everyone calmed down a little bit, was when my father asked me to explain myself. What is there that you can say? I did deny Mr. Gless's comment about me raping Karen, and thankfully, she confirmed that it hadn't been like that. The main point of the meeting quickly turned to what was going to happen if I'd made Karen pregnant. Karen had told them about me putting it in the first time without any rubber on. My parents said they would help with any expenses that might be necessary, but that it was out of the question for the two of us to get married. Mr. & Mrs. Gless told my parents that they certainly didn't want us getting married either. After that, it was mostly about how important it was for everyone not to say anything at all about any of this. They also made Karen and I promise not to see each other anymore. I understood that it was necessary for me to give them my assurance of cooperating with this, but Karen was unwilling, at first, to do so. When her mother talked about sending Karen to live with her grandparents in New Hampshire otherwise, Karen reluctantly agreed. The Gless's left, and then I really started getting it from both of my parents. My mother spoke mostly of the religious implications of my behavior. My father, taking a more secular approach, told me I was too stupid to be going around making babies in innocent little girls. One thing that both of them agreed on was that this screw up was much worse than the vandalism of more than a year before. There was some talk about sending me to Hungary too, but I told them if they did that, I'd return as soon as I could, and never contact either of them ever again. My mother had complained many times that I had inherited my grandfather's, her father's, stubbornness. Since he was known throughout the family as a willful and unbending man, my threat carried some weight behind it. I know I meant it when I said it. ------- Chapter 22 I still think everything might have just blown over fairly quickly, if Karen had only kept her mouth shut. I hadn't told anybody about anything. Denise hadn't told anybody what it was that had made her so unhappy on Monday, other than saying it only concerned her and me. Because of what I'd said to Doris Gindello earlier, about me going with Karen, everyone had assumed that this was what had Denise so upset. On Wednesday, Karen returned to school. By lunchtime, everyone in school knew what Karen and I had been caught doing. I'm not sure why, but she talked about it to just about everyone that would listen to her. She talked about our private experiences practically non-stop from the minute she stepped onto the school grounds. I guess she figured the information would probably get out anyway. The only other thing I could think of for her doing that was that she wanted to make me a pariah at school. If that was what she expected to happen, she must have been disappointed with what actually started happening. I took some teasing from the guys, but the girls reacted far differently. In every class I had, for the next two or three weeks, girls started paying me more attention. Whenever I looked up, some girl would be staring at me. In the hallway, between classes, girls would bump into me. These were all kinds of girls too, good-looking ones, and the not-so-good-looking ones. It wasn't safe for me to walk the halls. I got bumped into even on the stairs, once so hard, that I lost my balance, and dropped all of my books and folders. Two different girls apologized for bumping into me, and both of them stopped to help me pick up my things. In English class, about a week later, Harriet Simonson handed me a piece of paper with her address and phone number on it, telling me to either call her or else stop by her house sometime. She didn't even try to do it without everyone else knowing about it either. I heard several girls giggling about how brazen she was being. The worst thing was that it gave Bill an excuse for him and me to get into another fight. It turned out the same way as the other one had, but at least I had the satisfaction of getting in some hits of my own this time. We were in gym class, and Bill was talking to some other boys, while we all stood around, waiting for the gym teacher to get done with some paperwork in his office. I was standing off to the side, by myself, when Ken Tremont yelled over to me, asking me if Karen's ass looked as nice naked, as it always looked when he saw her with her clothes on. I had heard things like this before, and I'd always ignored them. I was going to do the same this time until Bill piped in with some comment about Karen. I think what he said was she must really have been desperate to have screwed me. It was something like that. I didn't like seeing Bill getting in on the teasing like that, but I wasn't going to say anything to him about it. "Hey Larry, was Karen better than Eileen?" Bill yelled that out loudly, so there was no way I could pretend to have missed it, by making believe I hadn't heard him. Probably only he and I knew that the Eileen he was referring to was his own first cousin. Somehow, Bill had decided in his own mind that Eileen and I had screwed each other too. The way he brought Eileen's name into this kind of a discussion pissed me off. He had no right to say anything like that. "You'd have to tell me how good Eileen is first, Bill." I still just wanted to make him stop. I thought if I turned the focus strictly on Eileen, and off of Karen, he'd see what a mistake it had been, bringing her name into this. I sure wasn't trying to pick a fight with him. "She's all right, Larry, but Kate is a lot better at screwing." Half the guys in our gym class knew that my sister's name was Kate. It got pretty quiet. Then, Ken Tremont jumped back in, trying to keep the pot stirring. "That's rank, Terry, that's his own sister that you're talking about." "Stay out of this, Ken. You haven't heard him saying anything about how I'm lying, have you?" "I don't know whether you're lying about your cousin, Bill, but you're definitely lying about Kate." "Don't feel bad, Larry, someone was bound to screw her. She was so hot for it." Bill said that as he was walking towards me. I wasn't absolutely sure if he was talking about Kate, it might have also been Karen or Eileen. It didn't matter to me who he was talking about, because it was obvious that his intention was to make me mad enough to fight him. If that was his intention, he had succeeded. I hit Bill in the face, before he could hit me. He quickly tackled me and got me down, but a few other guys jumped on him and pulled him off of me. We fought a bit more after that, but, even though I hit him several times, he beat me handily once again. The fight lasted at least a whole minute this time. Bill stopped hitting me only when the gym teacher came out of his office and blew his whistle. He came over and asked everyone what had happened. No one said anything, so, when the first bell rang, he let us go take our showers. My face was red from being hit, and I had some swelling under my right eye, but it wasn't really that bad. The fact that I'd hit Bill a few times made me feel better about it. That night, I had a talk with Kate. I told her what Bill had said about her in the gym class. She didn't hesitate an instant, saying that he was lying. I asked her why Bill would make up something like that, and Kate said she didn't know why. She swore she hadn't spoken to him even one time since our first fight, several weeks before. Kate said she would be glad to call Bill just to prove it to me. I told her she didn't need to prove anything, but she insisted that she wanted to. I went into the kitchen while Kate dialed from the phone in the hallway. As soon as it started ringing, Kate yelled for me to pick up the extension in the kitchen. I picked it up and heard the ringing. Jane answered, and Kate asked to speak with Bill. When Bill came on the line, Kate started yelling at him, asking what he meant by telling her brother those lies about her. Bill denied saying it until Kate threatened him by saying she'd get my parents involved with talking to his parents, in order to find out exactly who was lying, and who was telling the truth. Bill finally admitted that he said it, but then told Kate he meant a different Kate. It was all pretty pathetic, and Kate finally just hung up on him. She asked me not to mention anything about her name being brought up as being a cause of the fight. She said this for when our parents asked me about my face. It was obvious from my face that I'd been in another fight. It was too bad I couldn't fight better. Every time I got into a fight, I brought the evidence home on my face. "You didn't believe what he said, did you Larry?" "No. I hit him because he said it, not because I thought it was true. I'm getting tired of him beating my ass though. Next time, I'll challenge him to a tango contest." That got me a little giggle. Kate knew that I didn't like to fight, and that I didn't fight very well when I did. I went into the bathroom after we talked, and soaked my face with a washcloth and cold water. You could still tell that I'd been fighting, but it didn't look as bad as it had before. When my parents got home that evening, I told them I'd gotten into a small scuffle with another boy in gym class. I told them the teacher had broken it up, and neither of us had gotten into any trouble. Me not getting into any trouble seemed to calm them down a little. During all this time, from the time we got caught until the fight with Bill, I kept seeing Karen all around the school, but I didn't try to speak with her. It was the same thing with Denise, I'd see her, but we weren't speaking at all. About the only girl I was still speaking to, at least the only one that I wanted to speak with was Clara. She knew what had happened, because Kate filled her in on everything, but she didn't act upset with me about it. I guess she figured that with what she was doing with Kate, she had little room for complaining about anything that I might have done with anyone else at all. The next day, the one after that fight, both Denise and Karen are waiting for me about two blocks from my school. It was out of the way for both of them to be there, so I assumed they must have decided that they wanted to yell at me. I walked up to them, and Karen asked me how my eye felt. I told her it looked worse than it felt. "Larry I'm sorry for telling everyone about what happened. I was mad at you and at my parents. I guess I was mad at myself too. I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I didn't want to wait so long to apologize to you this time." "I'm sorry too, Karen. I know this has whole situation has been hard on you. I can't believe how stupid I was to drop that wrapper on the floor like that." All this time, Denise is standing next to Karen, I guess lending her moral support or something. She hasn't even nodded at me to acknowledge my presence. "I know you're mad at me too, Denise. I don't really know what for?" "You get Karen into all this trouble, and you don't know why I'm mad at you?" "Now I know, thank you." "Plus, I'm mad about other things too. Personal things." "I'm sorry that you're mad. I'll see you, Karen. Goodbye Denise." I walked past them, heading for school. I understood what the personal things Denise was talking about probably were. She had thought she had been in a contest, and somehow, had come out as the loser. Karen had gotten to the finish line before she could. After Karen was forced out of the picture, she had simply lost any interest she ever had in me. That's just what I had worried might happen earlier. "We're not through talking to you, Larry." This was Denise yelling after me. "Sorry, I have to get to school. You can either yell at me there, or else call me at home." I saw Bill in the hallway, and his face didn't look much better than mine. He didn't start in with me again. I got to my homeroom right before the last bell rang. Karen was late, coming in about five minutes after I did. I saw Denise in second period, but neither of us said anything. I got two invitations from girls in that class. First, Donna James handed me an invitation, and then she personally asked me to come to her birthday party, which was over a month away. I told her that I would be happy to be there. When the class was over, Harriet Simonson was waiting outside the classroom for me. She asked me if I'd take her to the Winter dance, which was being held in three weeks. I hadn't planned on going to it. There would be all of the older juniors and seniors at the dance, and they tended to make it hard on any sophomores or freshmen that decided to attend. For some reason, maybe because Denise was standing right behind me listening to Harriet and I talking, I told her that I'd love to take her. Harriet gave me a big smile and hurried away, it was almost like she was afraid that I'd change my mind if she stayed there. Denise pushed me right after Harriet left, really hard on the middle of my back. She pushed with both of her hands, which propelled me forward, causing me to stumble, and almost trip. "Don't do that, Denise. If I was in your way, I would have moved if you'd said something about it." When I turned around, she was already heading off in the opposite way that I had to go. Karen waited until I sat down at lunchtime, and then came over and sat down next to me. It seemed like half the kids in the cafeteria stopped talking, or anything else they were doing, and were now watching Karen and me. This wasn't good. "How much longer are you going to stay mad at us?" "I'm not mad at anybody. Who said I was the one that was mad?" "You wouldn't hardly talk to us this morning, after we waited for you for fifteen minutes." "I would have been late for school if I'd waited any longer. You were five minutes late yourself." "Are you really going to the Winter dance with Harriet?" "I told her that I would. I don't usually tell people I'll do something, and then not do it." "Don't you even miss me, Larry? You haven't even so much as waved hello to me, not once since that night at your house." "You know I promised your folks that I'd stay away from you." "But, do you miss me?" "Of course I do. I haven't gone out with anyone since I went out with you that Saturday." Of course, I was still on restriction for one more week, but I hadn't been tempted to go out with anyone either, so I felt justified in telling her that. I felt real bad about the trouble I'd gotten Karen into. The initial trouble was my fault, but if she hadn't told about everything we had done together to so many people, a lot of these other things could have been avoided. "How come you didn't ever call Denise after it happened?" "Denise made it pretty clear that she didn't want anything more to do with me." "I shouldn't have told her. You were right about that part at least. I was in so much trouble at home though, I needed to talk to someone, and I couldn't call you. Denise hung up on me, right after I finished telling her about what the two of us had done. It really hurt her that you didn't wait to do it with her first." "That I didn't wait? Well, you know what? If I was only going to do it with one of you, it was always going to be you. That's what I think. Denise can be as mad or as hurt as she wants to be, but I chose you." "I'm glad you did too, Larry. Even as bad as it might be now, I never have regretted doing it with you. I told my mother that too. It just made her even madder, but I don't care. It's the truth." "So, now what are we going to do? How long do you think your parents are going to try to keep us apart?" "Probably until we turn twenty one." "Yes, mine too. You'd think what we did was so terrible if you listened to them talk. I think about it a lot different then they do. What I remember was a long way from being terrible. I've thought about it a lot." "I have too. In fact, that was what Denise and I wanted to talk to you about this morning. We have an idea. When you said you'd go with Harriet to that dance, Denise got really mad at you again. She was waiting there to speak to you about our idea." "Did she mention that she pushed me halfway across the hallway?" Karen laughed and nodded that Denise had told her that. "I told you that she really likes you, Larry. Even now, she still does. She wants to do it with you even more now. I told her all the things we did, especially after, out on the couch. She didn't believe me when I told her how great it was, and what your tongue felt like on my pussy. She said that Tommy's dick didn't feel anything like what I told her yours felt like in me either. Our idea is that you come over after school on a Wednesday, when Trudie has dance lessons, and Denise's parents aren't home. We would have at least an hour and a half before anyone came home. Denise wants for both of us to do it with you." I just looked across the table at her. The fifteen people who were close enough to listen in to what she had just said to me, were all staring at her too. In the past minute, she had spoken about some really personal stuff. Not your typical school cafeteria conversation. "What do you guys all think? Should I do it?" I asked all of the nearby listeners. They at least had the decency to turn their eyes away from us. None of them got up and left from their eavesdropping positions though. Karen got embarrassed, and was looking around, trying to determine who else had heard her making this proposal to me. I felt sure that Denise would be unhappy when she heard what had happened too. There was no doubt at all that she would hear too. Karen got up and left as soon as her brain processed that little kernel of belated insight. I sat there, watching to see which busybody would be the first one to bolt away in search of Denise. As much as I hated to acknowledge it, my life was rapidly turning into a very public spectacle. During sixth period, Denise approached me to try to get my eyewitness account of what had taken place in the cafeteria. She first told me what she had been told Karen said. When I confirmed that she had said all of that and even more, Denise dissolved into tears. Being betrayed by your closest friend is bad enough, but for her to be betrayed because Karen has a thoughtless and careless disregard for her surroundings, that was far worse. Denise was inconsolable. I advised her to just smile and shake her head when people asked her about it. The worse thing she could do was to enter into a discussion about it, or to try to explain it in any way. Let Karen explain it. She was the one doing all the talking anyhow. Not surprisingly, Denise didn't attempt to find out what my reaction was to the plan she and Karen had come up with. Had she asked, I would have told her that it sounded exciting to me. I was looking forward to the possibility. EDITED BY: JCOV ------- Chapter 23 The incident with Karen in the cafeteria, had raised up quite a ruckus in our school, and even beyond the school, as I was soon to learn. There were serious problems between Denise and Karen, all as a direct result of what had happened that day. As near as I could tell, they weren't even speaking to each other anymore. I got myself disinvited to Donna James's birthday party. She approached me one morning, as I was coming to school. It was a few days after the cafeteria incident. She just came right out and told me that her parents had forbidden her from inviting me to her party. I nodded to her that I understood what she was saying. I wanted to ask Donna what her parents had heard that made them react in this way, but that just wasn't my style. Instead, I withdrew from speaking to people. Socially, I knew I could now count only on myself. I wasn't mad at Karen, but I didn"t blame Denise for being angry with her. Denise deserved to be angry with me also. I had been a part of that conversation too. I should have said something to Karen, to get her to stop talking, a lot earlier than I had. I think I was too busy thinking about my own possible pleasures with both Denise and Karen, to bother with thinking about how far her words were being broadcast to the students sitting around us. I didn't remember having said anything that compromised Denise's reputation, but I had said enough to help confirm some of what Karen was speaking about. It was only one week until the Winter dance. I had committed to attending it with Harriet Simonson. I had known Harriet all through grade school. She had been in some of my mother's dance classes with me. She was about five three, with darker blond hair which she wore about halfway down her back, usually in a ponytail. She had regular facial features, but her eyes were a little bit narrow and always looked pinched, like she was squinting or something. She was built along the lines of Clara, except that she had breasts, and weighed probably ten pounds more than Clara. She had been a very slow learner in dance classes. She was a girl that found it difficult to learn new dance steps. She didn't have any sense of her own body rhythm, so it was hard for her to 'feel' the flow of dancing. She was not a girl that I would normally have chosen to pursue. It had surprised me when she had approached me with her phone number and home address a few weeks before. If I were to make a guess, I'd guess that Harriet had never had a boyfriend before. I'd never seen her with any boy at school. She was usually quiet and reserved. What she did by asking me out to this dance, was really out of character for her. I approached Harriet in one of the classes we shared together, and asked her about what she was planning to wear. Because of all the dance recitals, my mom had bought me a tuxedo. I also owned two suits that would also work for the dance if she decided she didn't want to get too dressed up. There were some dress requirements for the dance, but they had only set out the minimum acceptable standards. For this dance, those standards were a jacket and tie for the boys, and dresses for the girls. "My mother made me a nice evening gown to wear, Larry. It is a dark burgandy with a large satin bow in back." "Is it really fancy, or not so fancy?" "I'm wearing it for my piano recital next month. I'd say it was pretty fancy. Do you think it's too much for this dance?" "No, a lot of people treat this dance like it is a formal. I was just asking about your dress so I could decide whether or not to wear my dancing tuxedo." "I think my dress would go well with your tuxedo. Is it black?" "Yes. I'm planning to have my dad drive us to and from the dance, is that all right?" "We can't do that. We should just meet there." "What do you mean? The guy always picks up the girl. Why would we meet there?" I started getting the sinking feeling that my new reputation had already begun to leave the school grounds, and was now getting itself spread out into the general community. I had hoped that the taking back of the invitation to Donna's party was an isolated thing, likely resulting from Donna having told her mother of the rumors concerning Karen and me. If this was now something that the other parents were all talking about, that would be very bad. I really didn't have any choice. I couldn't undo any of what had already happened. I saw Harriet hesitating about answering my question. When she finally did answer me, it was with a small voice, the kind that kids use when they get caught doing something bad, and they are finally getting around to admitting it. "My parents don't know that you are taking me to the dance. They wouldn't let me go if they did know. I'm sorry, Larry. I should have said something to you sooner. It's just that I wanted to go to this dance with you." I had already paid for the tickets, $24.00 for the two of them. I had gotten the money from my mother. She couldn't refuse to give me the money for a high school dance. Every dance the high school held, provided her with a fresh crop of new students. A lot of these new students were boys, who were looking for a couple of quick lessons, just enough so they wouldn't make total fools of themselves out on the dance floor. How would I explain to her that my date didn't want me to pick her up at her house for the dance? "Are you sure they'd disapprove of you going with me?" She looked right at me, and nodded yes. "Because of the rumors about some stuff with a girl?" I couldn't make myself name Karen as that girl. I didn't want to be guilty of talking about her in that context. Again, Harriet nodded that this was the reason. "I wish you'd said something earlier, Harriet. This is going to be hard for me to explain to my parents. What can I tell them?" "You can tell them the truth. I'm on the dance committee, and have to be there early, to help decorate for the dance. I also need to be there later, to help with the clean up." "That's all true?" "It's nearly true. I am on the dance committee, but not on the decorating committee. I can volunteer for the clean up after the dance. It wouldn't really be that much of a lie." "So I just meet you there, and then go home alone, after the dance?" "Yes, I'm sorry, but that was all I could work out with my parents. At first, they wouldn't even allow me to go to the dance, until I told them that you had backed out of taking me because of what happened to you." "This keeps getting worse and worse. I'm probably going to have to switch schools, or do something else, in order to get myself a fresh start. I can't believe how big this thing is getting." "It's your own fault, Larry. There are a lot of girls that wouldn't go around telling everybody about what you did together." "I guess I'll see you next Friday at the dance. Let me know if there are going to be any more changes, all right?" I spent the rest of that day, waiting for school to let out. I was hoping for all of this to be over, but that didn't look like it was going to occur. Other than my being willing to experiment with any girl who would allow it, what had I done that made me someone that so many people would want their own children to avoid? I didn't feel like I was such a bad person. Until a few months before, people had accused me of being too backward with things. Even the vandalism had been characterized as just another example of me acting too childish. I was accused of doing something without thinking of the consequences beforehand. Everyone told me that I needed to grow up. As soon as I finally do grow up, they all get on me for trying to grow up too fast. I figured there was just no way to win in the game they had me playing. I was walking back to my house, taking my time, because there was really no good reason for me to hurry to get there. I looked up, noticing for the first time that Denise was standing on the corner, only about a block ahead of me. I began walking faster. I figured it was about fifty/fifty that she was going to yell at me. "Hello Denise. Fancy meeting you here. Are you lost?" "I wanted to talk to you." "I was in class with you at least three times today. You could have talked to me in any of them." "I can't be seen talking to you, Larry. Not with all the rumors going around about all of us." "All right. What did you want to tell me?" "Are you talking to Karen?" "No, not since that day in the cafeteria. She's been avoiding me." "Me too. She won't even talk to me on the phone." "She is probably embarrassed by all the trouble she has caused you. Maybe she is afraid you just want to yell at her." "I guess I do. You wouldn't believe the things people are saying to me, or about me. I do what you said to do. I don't answer any of their questions, or answer them back when they say mean things to me." "I don't think Karen needs someone else to yell at her right now. For the last few weeks, everyone has been treating her like she has leprosy." "What has been happening with you? Are you going out with anyone besides Harriet?" "Don't remind me, please! Even Harriet doesn't want to be seen with me now. I have to meet her at the dance, rather than me taking her to it. If it wasn't for the fact I'm trying to keep my parents from wondering what's going on with me, I'd cancel out on going to the dance with her. She just sprung this on me today." "Can I ask you a question without you getting mad at me?" "You can try. I probably won't answer it if it makes me mad though." "Why did you pick Karen instead of me?" "In the first place, I didn't pick Karen. We were on a date, and we made out together. When that worked out good, we decided we wanted to go all the way. I had assumed that it was possible that you and I might get around to doing that someday too. If you two had ever made me pick just one of you to do it with, I'd have picked Karen. That isn't because I like her better than I like you, but because Karen and I had never done anything like that before. We could both share the newness of it together. If you and I did it now, we would both have already done it before. With Karen, part of it was that we were both virgins. I'm glad I did it the first time with her." "I shouldn't have told you about Tommy." "You didn't tell me. It was Tommy that told me, remember? All you did was admit it. I found out about it first, and then when I had a chance, I asked you about it." "You never told me anything that you did, why was I supposed to tell you what I had done?" "Do you remember what caused me to bring it up to you? I probably shouldn't have said anything in the first place, but you should have told me you didn't want to talk about it, not denied that it had happened. I don't really want to go back and rehash all of this. What happened, already happened. We can't do anything to change any of it." "So, I'm just supposed to forget about you and Karen doing it?" "I don't care whether you forget it or not. That's up to you. I just don't want to talk about it. What Karen and I did, is our business. What you and I do, that should be our business." "Whose business was it what Tommy and I did together then?" "It was yours. You should have told me, right from the start, that it wasn't any of my business. Instead of just doing that, you decided to deny it, and lie to me about it. I thought we had already dealt with this? Why are we still talking about it?" "I never said that I had dealt with it. You tell me that you chose Karen to do it with, because she was a virgin, and I wasn't. Now, what are you going to do? None of us are virgins anymore. Everybody in school thinks Karen and I are both big sluts anyway." "I don't think that. Not about either of you. I don't think very many people think that. As for the rumors because of what Tommy and Karen have said, they're just rumors until you decide to confirm them." "I want things to go back to how they were before." "I do too, but it isn't going to happen. This thing with Karen would have been bad enough like it was, but having Karen telling everyone at school, plus the cafeteria thing, now it has all gotten really blown up. If it gets any bigger, there is no way my parents aren't going to do something about it. We need to just try to ride it out, and see if it all blows over." "Karen told me all about that day at her house. She made it sound a lot better than what I did with Tommy, or even with Danny. Do you think we could do it like that sometime?" "Are you sure that you want to? The way things have been going, we'd probably get caught too. This time my own father would probably kill me, assuming that yours didn't beat him to it." "I don't think we'd get caught. Not if we were careful. I've been thinking about it, about how we could do it without anyone finding out about it. My father has that big workshop in the back, over by the side of our house. You've seen it, behind where he parks our car? I know where his spare key is hidden. We could go in there when he isn't around. Nobody but him ever goes in there." "Why do you want to do it with me? Right now, almost anyone else would be better for your reputation. Why me?" "Because I've liked you for a long time. I think about us doing it. Part of it is because I want to find out if what Karen told me is really true. Mostly, it's because I like you." "What about rubbers?" "Was the one you used with Karen your only one?" "I think I have another one, I'll have to check. My mom might have found it already." "Is one enough? Tommy did it with all three of us." "Did he cum in all of you?" "I don't know. I never asked him about it. How would I know?" "A lot of white stuff comes out of a boy's dick when he cums. You'd feel it when he squirts it into you." "Then I don't think so. He only did it to me for about ten seconds, Trudie was a little longer, probably because she liked it better. He did it to Mary for the longest of all." "I can get some more, but it might take me a few days." "My dad and Trudie are going fishing tomorrow morning. Could you get some by then?" "What about your mom?" "She'll be home, but she won't be worried about where I am or anything. The door into the workshop is behind it, over in the back. You can't see the door from inside the house." "What time is you dad leaving?" "Real early, before seven o'clock. They will be gone for all the morning at least. Probably until three or four. It's a two hour drive to the lake." "How come you aren't going? Don't you like to fish?" "Not this time. There's something better I want to do." "What time should I come over?" "Nine?" "Do I just come knock on your door?" "Yes, I'll tell my mom that we're going for a walk. After we leave, we'll go right to the workshop. I'll bring the key with me. It will be easy, you'll see." "You know, you might just wind up disappointed. If you didn't like it with Tommy, you might not like it with me either." "I'll take that chance. I've liked everything we've done so far. I know I'm going to like you licking me. I liked your finger before, so I bet I like your penis even better. I never liked Tommy Lampkin, so it will make a big difference just because it is you this time." "I'll see you at nine then. I'll make sure I bring at least one rubber." "Try to get more than one. We have a long time. If I like it, one won't be enough." ------- Chapter 24 I waited in the drug store until I could catch Mr. Nichols eye. When he saw me, he smiled and came over to the register. "Flora, go check in the back and see if I left a stack of the new Life magazines there." "I already put the new magazines in the rack this morning, Mr. Nichols." "Flora, please do what I asked you to do." She looked at me, standing about fifteen feet from her, an economy pack of twelve Trojans clutched in my nervous hand. She frowned at me, but left to go into the back storeroom as ordered. She didn't look too happy as she waddled her big bulky frame the fifty or so feet necessary to disappear from our view. "Will that do it for you today, young man?" "Yes, Mr. Nichols, this is all I need for now." "Please don't let my assistant trouble you, or keep you from purchasing any items in the future that you might want or need. I've spoken with her about this same problem in the past. If she persists in disregarding my instructions, I'm afraid I'll soon need a new assistant." When he added this last part, the woman was just returning to the counter, and she could hear his words as easily as I did. I heard her sharp intake of breath. He bagged up my purchase, handed me the change, thanking me for shopping with him. As I was leaving, I heard Mr. Nichols raising his voice to her. "This won't do, Flora. I can't operate my business profitably with you running some of my customers off just because you don't approve of what they come in to buy. It isn't your place to decide if their behavior conforms to your lofty standards. We sell prophylactics to any person who comes in here and wants to buy them. We don't try to intimidate or shame them into not purchasing the things they want. I won't warn you again. Leave your personal judgments of our customer's behavior at the door. If you can't do that Flora, find some other place to work. Perhaps a place where repeat business and profits aren't important." I barely made it home before my mother. If she had seen what I'd just brought into my room, my goose would have been cooked. I put the twelve small packets in my crystal radio box. I took the now empty carton over to Mr. Graham's trash barrel. He lived a block away from our house. I shoveled snow from his walkway and driveway every winter. He was a widower, almost eighty years old. If anyone checked his trash barrel, at his age, his reputation would only be enhanced by them finding the empty package. I called Denise at five thirty, and we talked on the phone until my father told me to get off the phone and get washed up for dinner. We hadn't talked about much of what we had spoken of in our earlier conversation. I did tell her that I had solved the rubber problem we had talked about. I told her that I'd come over to see her the next morning at nine. She said she was really looking forward to it. After I got off the phone, Kate asked me who I'd been talking to. I told her it was Denise. "Really? I hear she and Karen both hate your guts now. Trudie says Denise gets mad whenever she hears your name mentioned. She was asking me about what happened to make her sister so mad at you? Was it Karen? Is she jealous of you and Karen?" "Don't you have enough to keep you busy, just worrying about yourself?" "I have nothing to worry about. Compared to you, everything in my life is going great." "What are you trying to say, Kate? If you have something to tell me, just say it." "I've heard some things at school. Things about what's been going on with the three of you. People have been coming up to me for over a week now, asking me about you. Half of them want me to introduce you to them, and the other half wants to know why you aren't already in jail. Did you know that four girls have quit taking dance classes from mom this week? Two other girls signed up for new classes though. One of them asked me which classes you attended. She signed up for both of them, after I told her what they were." "You're making all this up." "No I'm not, I swear. You're getting a reputation. It won't be long before mom hears about it. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes if more parents start pulling their kids from mom's classes because of you." "Kate, don't suggest to mom anything about why those girls might have quit. You don't know if that's the reason." "I know that's why Barbara and Ellen Samuels quit. Their parents made them. They told me that their parents didn't want them associating with anyone from our family." "Wow, they've been coming to mom's classes forever. They just withdrew?" "Yep. They came in Tuesday and told mom they weren't going to be coming anymore after this week. Barbara is one of mom's favorites too. She wasn't happy to lose her. Ellen wasn't going to be coming much longer anyway. She didn't like dance class. Her mother made her go." Mom didn't say anything to me about any of that at the start of dinner, but I could see her and my dad looking at each other, and then looking over at me while I tried to eat. "Is everything okay in school Laurant?" My mother began the inquisition that I had feared was coming. "Everything is good. I'm doing good in all my classes." I wasn't going to volunteer anything personal, not when they were talking about school. "Are you staying away from that girl?" This was my dad. He was helping my mom to zero in on what they were both trying to get to. I studied my mom's face. She showed her feelings better than my dad did. I couldn't get any reading this time. If she was mad, she was concealing it well. "If you mean Karen, then yes. We haven't spoken a word to each other in weeks now." "What other girl would I be talking about, Larry? Do we have to be worried about you with some other girl now? Are you some kind of a Casanova now, that parents should be afraid of you?" "Pop, what do you want me to say? I don't have any girlfriend right now. I haven't gone out with anyone in over a month. Does that sound like I'm a Casanova?" "Laurant, your papa and I are worried for you. We hear things, troubling things. People listen to what other people are telling them. It is difficult when you hear bad reports about your own children." "Tell me what you heard and I'll tell you if it's true. That's all I can do." "Katinka is too young to hear this, Laurant. Go to your bedroom with your papa. He will tell you what people are saying." "I'm not too young. I've heard what they are saying. It's mostly just a bunch of rumors from that Karen. Larry hasn't done anything bad." "Larry, go with your papa, please. He needs to ask you some questions. If you have done nothing, we need to know that too." In my bedroom, I sat on my bed, but my father stayed standing, even though my desk had a chair for him to sit down on. "Larry, is there anything you want to tell me, anything to clear all of this up?" "I haven't heard the rumors myself, Pop. I know how they got started, but no one comes up to me to discuss them to my face." "That's a beginning. Tell me how they got started then." "Karen came back to school, after that time, when she and her parents came over. It was the next Wednesday after. She told everybody what happened with us that one day. People came to me and said dirty things to me, but I didn't say anything to them. It was mostly from that one day that all these rumors got started." "I've heard about other young girls being involved. Girls from your mama's dance classes." "That isn't true, papa." "You've never bothered any of those girls?" "Never! People start embellishing rumors, that's what this is." "What it means, embellishing?" My father's English got fractured when he got upset. "Like adding stuff to the true facts. A man shoots a dog, but, after people tell the story, it becomes he shot four dogs, then he shot six dogs and one of the dog's owners. People make the story much bigger than the actual truth is." "This is what you say is happening now, Larry? You promise me?" "Papa, I promise I've never done anything to any of mom's dance class students." "This includes Clara?" Oh boy! That came out of nowhere. So far, I hadn't actually lied to him. I may have put the best possible face on the existing facts, but I hadn't lied. "Papa, you know I dated Clara. We went to the movies together, a matinee in the daytime." "Clara is a dance student." "She is also a friend of mine. I wasn't thinking of Clara when I answered you before." "Larry, have you done with Clara what you did to this Karen?" "Are you asking me if I've screwed Clara? I don't believe this. No, I never screwed her. I'm ashamed of you that you even asked me that." "I had to ask it, Larry. Clara's mother talked to your mama today. She is taking Clara out of all of her dance classes. Clara is not allowed to come here anymore. You and your sister are not allowed to go there anymore either. You are not to try to contact her anymore, not at all." "What about Kate? You can't mean Kate too?" "Both of you. Clara's mother was very clear about that. Your mama is talking to Katinka now, telling her the same thing I have told to you." "This is a big mistake! You can't do this to Kate, it isn't fair." "Larry, your mama and I have agreed. This is what we say is best. Please do not give us more to worry about than we already have. Clara's mother is very concerned about Kate too. Concerned about whether their friendship is an unhealthy one for them to have. Your mama and I share these same concerns." We both heard a loud scream, followed by an even louder crash. We soon discovered that this noise was caused by Kate turning over my mother's prized porcelain curio cabinet. The one that held all of my mother's most valuable tea cups from her large collection. These cups and saucers were almost the only thing that she had brought with her when my parents left Hungary. My father just beat me to my bedroom door by a step. My mother was kneeling on the floor, her hands covering her face, crying about what my sister had just done. Some of those cups and saucers housed in that cabinet were over a hundred years old. All had been hand painted by famous Hungarian artists, long dead, their artistry completely irreplaceable. My great grandmother had painted three of those cup and saucer sets. These had extreme sentimental value, in addition to their high monetary value. Kate's temper had literally brought my mother to her knees. There were no possessions she had that meant more to her, except, possibly, her wedding band. If Kate had been given a whole month to find something to destroy, something that meant more to my mother, she wouldn't have found a better choice. As hurt as my mother was, Kate felt even worse. My mother had just told Kate that Clara had admitted to her own mother that she'd been having a sexual relationship with Kate for the past two years. ------- Chapter 25 My father went to help my mother get up from the floor. He hugged her, trying to console her. Without touching the curio cabinet, or trying to set it back to an upright position, he led my mother off to their bedroom. By that time, Kate had run into her own bedroom. I could hear her crying in her room, and my mom crying in hers. I started pulling out different cups and saucers from inside the smashed cabinet. I found three unbroken cups, and seven saucers that hadn't been damaged. Two of the saucers matched the unbroken cups. I started removing all of the bigger pieces of porcelain that remained inside the cabinet. While I was down on the floor, balanced on my hands and knees, I noticed another cup lying on it's side, halfway across the room. It was my great grandmother's best cup. It was a painting of her own son and daughter, they were holding hands in some famous park in Budapest. There was a bridge across the Danube River in the background. I quickly went over to retrieve it. It was my mother's favorite, and somehow, it had escaped being damaged, even though it had rolled around on the floor for all that distance. I also found the saucer that belonged with it among the seven undamaged ones. I took the set over to my parents' bedroom and knocked on the door. My father came and opened it, so I handed him the porcelain cup set. He smiled when he recognized it as my mother's favorite piece. He took it from me, smiled at me, his way of saying thank you, and shut the door once again. In a few moments, I could no longer hear my mother's sobs. Right after that, my mother stopped crying, or else started crying less loudly. I phoned Denise before it got to be too late to call her, and told her there was a big family emergency that would keep me from coming by to see her the next day. She asked about the emergency, so I told her that we had gotten some very bad news about a family member, and the whole family was very upset. After the phone call, I went and knocked softly on Kate's door. "Kate, it's Larry. Let me in." She didn't answer me, just continued crying as loud as she had been before. I tried the door, but it was locked. "Kate, open the door. I need to talk to you." I waited another few seconds, and then I heard her moving to the door. There was another delay, but then she opened up her door. I walked inside her room, shutting her door behind me. I gathered her into my arms and hugged her tightly to me. She immediately started crying even louder than she had been before. I led her over to her bed and sat her down. I lifted up her legs and set them up on the bed. "Move over, so I can lie down here with you." Kate moved over, and I got on the bed and took her back into my arms. We just lay there like that, with her crying, and me hugging her and trying to give her the comfort and support of my love for her. Sometime, a long time later, Kate fell asleep. She was all cried out, but she still would shudder in my arms occasionally. About fifteen minutes after I started hugging Kate, my father opened Kate's door to check on her. Seeing that I was with her, he smiled, and turned off Kate's bedroom light. I'm sure he checked the house, making certain that all of the lights were off, and then returned to comfort my mother again. I spent the night with Kate. Whenever she would start to move around or fidget, I would rub her back, whispering to her that it was all going to be okay. I didn't really believe that, but what else could I say? Saturday morning I woke up, still fully dressed, with my arm around Kate. She had one of her arms draped across my chest. I lifted it off of me gently and got out of the bed. I went out into the hall, heading for the bathroom in order to take my morning piss. That accomplished, I brushed my teeth and went off in search of some breakfast. I noticed right away that someone had cleaned up all the mess in the curio cabinet, and that it was standing back in it's usual place. One of the door hinges was broken loose, and one of the curved glass windows was broken. Other than that, it seemed okay. Of course, it seemed pretty empty inside, with only two cup and saucer sets sitting on the one remaining, unbroken, glass shelf. I went into the kitchen, both of my parents were sitting at the kitchen dinette drinking coffee. I went over to my mother and kissed her on the cheek. I sat down next to her. "Anyu, I'm sorry that all of your beautiful things got broken." "They aren't so important, Laurant. How is Katinka?" "Still sleeping. She was crying for a long time, but she finally went to sleep." "You have to be with her, Larry. She will need you to get through what is coming. There was something else that I didn't tell Katinka last night. Clara tried to kill herself yesterday afternoon. She is in the hospital. She took her mother's sleeping pills." It is difficult for me to recount how this news affected me. It was almost like someone had kicked me right in the heart. There was a strong physical sensation centered right in my chest. I must have gasped, or reacted in some other physical way, because I could see the concerned look on both my parents faces. I knew that I had to say something to them, something to reassure them that I understood what they had just told me. Instead, of doing that, I just started crying. Clara had always been such a sweet and giving person. It was her that people turned to when they were troubled, taking advantage and comfort from her being so serene, reliable, and stable. Clara was probably the last person I would have imagined to attempt something like this. I couldn't even imagine the amount of scorn, abuse and other crap that must have been heaped upon her, in order to make her decide that she no longer wanted to live. My sadness was mixed with an increasing feeling of anger and rage. In so many ways, Clara was the best person I had ever known. I wished that I had told her how much I admired her when I still had the chance. With all that had taken place, it was doubtful that I'd ever see her again. "I should be the one to tell Kate. It would be better if she hears it from me. Did Clara's mother say how Clara is doing now? Can we find that out?" "Clara will be fine. They are going to keep her in the hospital until they find out if she is all done with her foolish behavior." "I'm afraid for Kate. She really loves Clara. She might try the same thing." "Don't say that, Laurant! No, don't even put those words into the air. Katinka would never do such a thing, never." "Why are you so sure? I'm telling you, Kate is much more likely to do something like that than Clara is. What is so terrible about what Kate and Clara did? Who are they hurting? It isn't anything that you need to try and put a stop to. It isn't like they have some disease, it isn't going to kill them. It is you parents who cause them so much pain that they feel like they don't want to live anymore. Mind your own damn business, before you kill Kate!" My mother slapped my face so hard my head snapped around until I could see Kate standing there, in the kitchen doorway. I got up from my chair and went to her. I led her back to her room before I told her what Clara had done. Kate didn't take the news about Clara's suicide attempt very well. The first thing she did was start blaming herself for what happened. Next, she wanted to rush down to the hospital and force them to let her see Clara. In the end, she just broke down and cried even harder than she had the night before. This time, I cried along with her. I didn't cry as hard or as long, but I cried for Kate as well as for Clara. Maybe, I cried a little for myself, and for my parents too. We sat on the bed and held and rocked each other for a long time. I started talking to Kate, telling her that she needed to get control of herself so that we could plan for a way for us to see Clara again. I was through feeling sad and hopeless about the situation. I wanted to do something to put Kate and I more in control of our own lives. If this meant we had to sneak around behind our parents backs, so what? They felt fine about acting against our wishes in order to advance their beliefs and interests. Kate and I would do the same to advance our own beliefs and interests. It was an important time in my journey to adulthood. Before, when I had gotten into trouble, it hadn't been a case of me rebelling against my parents. Now, when I got into trouble, it wouldn't be for vandalism or fighting. From now on, I was going to plan my own agenda, and act on that plan only. If my parents didn't approve of it, let them do what they wanted to. I told Kate that I was through with letting other people tell me what I should do, or how I should think. "Larry, I have to see Clara. I have to make sure she's not going to keep on doing that." "Don't worry, Kate. We'll find a way to get you in to see her soon. Maybe even today. But you have to promise me that you won't do anything crazy before we can see her." "What are you going to do?" "I'm going over to have a talk with Clara's mother." I went into my room and changed clothes, then went into the bathroom and washed up a little, combing my hair. I walked out my front door without telling my parents where I was going. Ten minutes later, I was knocking on the door at Clara's house. Mrs. Townsend, Clara's mother answered the door. I could tell right away that I was one of the last people that she wanted to see right then. "What do you want? I told your mother to keep you away from Clara." "I'm not here to see Clara. I'm here to see you. Can I come in?" "I don't think so, Larry. I don't ever want you in my house again. Not after what you did to my poor daughter." "Was what I did worse than what you've done? She never tried to kill herself when she finished doing anything with Kate or me. She was always happy then. What did you do to your poor daughter? That's the question I came here to ask. What did you tell her to make her prefer being dead to continuing on with her life? I need to know, because I'm afraid Kate's going to try the same thing." "I'm her mother. I'm only trying to look out for her best interests." "So, you make her try to kill herself? That's in her best interest? Or is it that you'd rather see her dead, than sticking her tongue in my sister's pussy?" SLAAAP!!!! Today wasn't my day when it came to evoking maternal responses. I didn't think Floyd Patterson could slap as hard as Mrs. Townsend had just slapped me. My teeth rattled from the force of it. "I'm still waiting for your answer. Is she better off dead than doing that? It's you that is killing her! My sister needs to see your daughter. Just for long enough to make sure she's going to be okay. If she doesn't get this, I'm afraid for what she'll do to herself." "I'll never allow your sister to see my daughter again, not even if it means we have to move a thousand miles away from here. The same goes for you. Now, get off of my property!" "Can we come to Clara's funeral? Can I come at least, because Kate might be too busy with her own to come?" "Get away from my house, you horrid little bastard!" "I'm going, but you remember what I told you. If Clara does kill herself it will because you made her feel like that was her best option. If it makes you feel any better about things, Kate loves your daughter, and Clara loves her just as much. Clara likes boys too, and some day I'm probably going to marry her, if you don't manage to kill her before I get the chance." I guess I had been crying the whole time I was talking to her, but I hadn't realized it until I put my hand up to rub away the snot running down my upper lip. I turned around to leave, but she reached out and grabbed at my shoulder. I thought she was attacking me, but when I turned back around she was hugging me to her and she was crying even worse than I was. She pulled my face right into her nice, big titties. My face still hurt from the slap, but it was getting better fast. I sure hoped Clara was right about growing a set just like these. Mrs. Townsend led me inside, and got me a box of Kleenex to use. She talked to me for the next hour, telling me how scared she was because of what Clara had done. How scared she was also about what Clara might still do. She hadn't meant for Clara to be so upset with the things she said to her. She only wanted Clara to grow up, to be happy, and to be normal. She stressed being normal more than being happy. "I really don't think you have to worry about that with Clara, Mrs. Townsend. She likes kissing me as much as kissing Kate. You should have seen how excited she got when she first touched my... Well, I mean you don't have to worry about her being normal and wanting to get married and all." "Have you been intimate with Clara?" "We haven't ever screwed yet, but we've done a lot of the other stuff. We really like each other though, and it was mostly because of that. It was also because neither of us had done much of anything with the opposite sex before. We didn't hurt each other. It was just playing." "Clara is only thirteen, Larry. That's too young for that kind of playing." "Maybe it is. Do you think she's going to just stop now? I don't think any of us are. I think, if she isn't going to quit doing things, she'd be better off doing them with people who love her." "I don't think you're right about any of this. I hope you aren't. I know I can't afford to take the chance that you might be right. Not after yesterday. Do your parents know you came to see me?" "No, I left them talking in the kitchen. Everyone is all upset over at our house. We're all worried about what Kate might do." "Do you think they would allow Kate to go visit Clara in the hospital? When I talked to your mother yesterday she seemed very upset with what I told her." "Mrs. Townsend, my mother is very religious. What you told her about Kate and Clara really made her upset. Last night Kate tipped over a big cabinet of my mother's, a cabinet with all of her porcelain stuff from Hungary. This was because mom told Kate she couldn't see Clara anymore. Mom never told Kate about Clara trying to kill herself until this morning. If Kate had known about it last night, I'm not sure what she would have done. Kate really loves Clara. Maybe more than Clara loves Kate. They do a lot more together than a little bit of fooling around. That isn't the only thing their friendship is based on." "Would they allow Kate to visit Clara with me today?" "Maybe. You'd need to ask them. If they say no, we'll try it another way." Mrs. Townsend excused herself to go get ready. Mr. Townsend was at work. He and his wife didn't get along, and even though he still lived there, he didn't do many things with Clara or his wife. Clara said her parents didn't sleep in the same room anymore. Mrs. Townsend slept in the guest room. I waited for her to get ready. It took about a half an hour, but she came out finally, and we drove over to my house together. When we got there, I opened the door and invited Clara's mom inside. My mother was sitting in the living room trying to separate different porcelain pieces into the right piles. I think she was planning on trying to glue the cups and saucers back together. My father was down in the basement. The two mothers hugged each other and then sat on the sofa together. I went to Kate's room to tell her to get ready just in case my mom agreed to let her go. Kate was already gone. She had snuck out by opening her bedroom window and climbing out. I knew where she had gone. "Kate's gone. She probably already went to the hospital." THANKS TO: JCOV FOR EDITING ------- Chapter 26 Edited by JCov Mrs. Townsend, my mother and I drove over to the hospital in Mrs. Townsend's car. My mother left my father at home, just in case Kate wasn't at the hospital, and needed to call home or something. It took Mrs. Townsend five minutes to be allowed in to see Clara, and when she got in Clara's room, Clara said she hadn't seen Kate. Mrs. Townsend came out and told my mother that Kate wasn't there. My mother asked where the pay phones were located, and then ran off to tell my father that Kate wasn't at the hospital. "Larry, do you want to go in and see Clara? I didn't tell her that you were here. She doesn't look her best right now, but maybe you can help her feel better. I don't know if I have the right to ask this of you, but I hope you'll go in there now and try to cheer her up." I walked back to the door I'd seen Clara's mother come out of. I opened it, and saw Clara lying in a hospital bed. I was surprised at how sick she looked. She seemed really surprised to see me. Then her surprise turned to upset over how she looked. She tried to speak, but her voice sounded creaky, like she had laryngitis or a sore throat. Clara told me that they had stuck something down her throat to suck out all of the pills that she'd taken. She said her throat hurt her quite a bit. "Clara, you really scared us, especially Kate and your mom. Me too." "It was pretty dumb, I guess." "It was worse than dumb, it was giving up. That's what surprised me the most. I can see that Kate might try something like this, if she got mad enough, but I didn't think you ever would." "You didn't hear them. First they were yelling at me, and then they were yelling at each other. Screaming that it was the other one's fault. They were just using me as an excuse for them to fight some more. The only thing they agreed on was that I couldn't ever see you or Kate again. I just got so tired of all of us fighting all the time. It seemed easier to shut off the noise by taking mom's pills." "When you do something like that, you shut off all the happy noise too. It isn't always easier to run away from the bad stuff. I'm just starting to find that out now. Kate was the first one of us to start fighting back. You should see what she did last night when my mom told her that she couldn't see you anymore." "What did she do?" "I'll let her tell you. Listen, Clara, they aren't going to keep you away from Kate, or keep Kate away from you. It just can't be done, and it wouldn't help anything if they could do it. Keeping you away from me is almost the same thing. I already told your mom I was going to marry you someday, if she didn't make you kill yourself before I got the chance." "I don't believe you told her that." "I did too. She really hits hard, and she called me a bastard. She put my cheek right on one of her boobs afterwards though. Are you sure you're going to get nice big ones like she has? I'm not marrying you if you don't get some big ones just like she has." "I wouldn't marry you either. You'd probably want to move to Utah, so you could have four or five wives at once, like those Mormons do." "If I did, you'd have three or four co-wives. I wonder what you'd all be doing while I was at work?" "Don't make me laugh, Larry. It hurts too bad." I had pulled out a chair and put it right next to her bed. We had been speaking quietly to each other. I had started out just holding her hand, then rubbing my nails real lightly, up and down her arm. She liked it, I could tell. I put my hand under her sheet and found one of her nipples which I gave a little casual attention to. We had stopped talking. While I played with her nipple, she stroked my arm. "Clara, Kate isn't the only one who loves you. Your mom and dad love you, and so do I". "Do you really love me? Are you just saying that to make me feel better?" "No, I really do. I wasn't sure about it until my mom told me what you had done. Then, after I started crying, I knew." "I knew you were going to, someday. I thought it would be later, when I grew my chest." "I don't love you that much, at least not yet. Not enough to ask you to go steady or anything. I'm mad at you too. Suppose you had died? Kate would have gone crazy. I would have missed you a lot too." "You know what I was thinking before I went to sleep? I was thinking that I should have let you put it in me that time. I don't know why I thought of that right then." "I thought almost the same thing. When I thought that though was when your mother put my head up to her chest." "Don't say things like that, Larry. I told you it hurts me when I laugh." "You think we have time to do it now, before your mom or the doctor comes in? I brought a rubber." "Liar, you never brought a rubber. Let me see it." "I would, except I already put it on, just in case you said yes. You want to see if I'm lying or not?" "I wonder if you're that crazy. I sure hope you aren't. Leave it on until I get out of here, and then show me." "I'm going to have to take it off when I pee or take a shower. It will probably get all messed up, from taking it off, and putting it back on again." "Do you think my mom and your mom will let me see Kate if she comes here?" "Sure. I already got your mom convinced that it would be better for you to see Kate. My mom will let her come in too, I bet. We all thought she'd be here in your room when we got here. She snuck out of her bedroom window while I was over at your house." Just after I said that, Kate stuck her head in the door. She told me that I needed to come out, so she had a chance to visit with Clara. I stood up and leaned over and kissed her lips. My hand was still on her chest, and hers was still on my arm. I smiled at her, and told her I'd see her soon. Kate shot into the room, moving right past me, as soon as I opened the door to Clara's room. It was all I could do to prevent her from running me over. I shut the door as quick as I could, but we could all still hear as Kate was crying and bawling Clara out for what she had almost done to herself. I knew that Kate was probably already on top of Clara, kissing her repeatedly, as she was bawling her out, all at one and the same time. "Anyu, Kate and Clara are like the things in your curio cabinet, matched sets. If one should get broken, the other one wouldn't be much good. You don't want to break up a matched set." "Laurant, we will have to wait and see. I need to speak with your papa, and pray for the right answers. It is wrong by everything I've ever been taught. They are both so innocent in so many other ways. How can this be? How did it happen to them?" She was looking at me, like she thought I should confess that it was me that had gotten them into doing what they did. "Sleepovers. The older girls teach the younger girls, as soon as they start getting curious. Some like it and continue doing it, others stop before they get too involved with it. Kate and Clara both liked how it felt, and they got into it more than most of the other girls. Believe me, they are just as interested in boys though. Kate and Clara won't get each other pregnant, and now that they know what feels good, they aren't going to stop doing it. They'll just find someone else to do it with." "How do you know so much about this, Laurant?" "Because I love them both. I was worried, so I asked them, and they told me. They knew I wouldn't try to take advantage or hurt them." "Were they right? Did you not take advantage?" "I never hurt either one. Clara and I experimented, like Kate and Clara did. Maybe not quite as far, but enough to see whether we both liked it. I never did anything that Clara didn't want me to do." "And Katinka? What did you do with her?" "Nothing. She is my sister, and I would never do anything that I thought might hurt her. I always try to protect her. Still, that doesn't mean that I can keep her from her own experimenting. I worry only about the boys. The girls, I see no danger there." "Do you protect Clara as well?" "No, she isn't my sister. I don't protect her, but I won't hurt her either, not if I can prevent it." Mrs. Townsend interrupted my mother's next question. "Please don't ask him anymore. His answers are too frank and graphic for a mother to have to hear. I would prefer to retain some illusions about my daughter. Even if I know that they are probably false." Mrs. Townsend went to Clara's door and knocked softly. There was a minute's delay, but Kate eventually came and opened the door. Mrs. Townsend went in, and I saw her pulling on Kate's arm, keeping her in the room as well. My mother kept busy while we were alone by cataloging for me all of my many shortcomings as a son, and as a brother. According to her, I should have gone to her and my father as soon as I had any inkling that something unhealthy was going on with the girls. I stood there, listening with half an ear, hoping that she would run down soon. It seemed that she never would, and then, mercifully, she did. "Are you done now? If you are, then it's my turn. How come you aren't blaming yourself? Who was it that set up most of these sleepovers? It was you, and Aunt Agnes. You had fifteen and sixteen year old girls in the same bedroom as ten and eleven year olds. It would be unusual for a fifteen or sixteen year old not to be curious about things like what boys and girls do together. Didn't it ever occur to you that the older girls would teach the younger girls those things? Don't you use the older girls to teach the younger girls in your dance classes? Did you think they would stop teaching and showing the younger ones things when the class was over and all of the lights were turned off? You never let any boys sleepover, but you thought it was safe for all those girls." "You boys do that too?" "I can't say. I never did it. I've heard of boys doing things, but not like what Kate and Clara do." "You never did any of those things, Laurant?" "Not yet. If a really cute guy comes along though..." "Laurant!" "I'm kidding mom. Of course, if you don't let me go out with girls, I guess I'd have to reconsider." "That is not something for the joke, Laurant." "I'm not joking. My strong first preference would be girls. Just like Kate's is for boys. If you make it impossible for one thing, of course the other will start to look more attractive." "Are you saying that is the only way to stop Katinka from doing those things with Clara?" "And other girls. Don't kid yourself into thinking it was always just those two. To answer your question though, no, I don't think that would stop Kate. I also don't think it would be good for her, although I considered doing that with her and Bill. I think Kate might grow out of it, especially when she is older, the first time she really falls hard for some boy. Right now though, I really think girls are both better and safer for her." "Listen to my question, Laurant. Your answer is very important right now. Is Katinka still a virgin?" "How do you define virgin? I don't think she has her hymen, although I'm not actually 100% sure of that. I am still pretty sure that she has never let any boy do it with her. Why is it so important?" "She is twelve years old. What am I supposed to tell your papa? He will blame me the same way you are blaming me." "Tell him the truth. Kate matured early. She got exposed to sex things way too early, but she is still exposed. You can't un-break an egg. If he can't handle the idea that Kate isn't as innocent as he would like her to be, there is still nothing he can do to restore that lost innocence. Pretending she is innocent won't work, not unless she wants to pretend along with you. She doesn't want to pretend that." "He will make me give up my business as soon as I tell him where she learned these things." "Tell him to go to hell." She gave me her narrowed eye look again. "Anyu, don't give me that look. I'm not ten years old anymore, it doesn't scare me. You and Aunt Agnes spent a lot of time and effort in building up that business. It isn't his place to tell you to give it up or not. He is your husband, not your master. Tell him no. If he keeps after you, then tell him to go to hell." "I will not speak to him like that. I will not give my business up either. No more dance class sleepovers though." Kate and Clara's mother came out of the room and I asked if I could go in real quick to tell her goodbye. Mrs. Townsend said they would meet me back down at the car. I waited and watched them as they started walking down the corridor, towards the elevators. As soon as I saw them get on the elevator, I hurried in to Clara's room, walking over to her bed. She looked surprised to see me again. I reached under the bed sheet and tried to get under her hospital gown, but she prevented me from doing it. She was laughing, but trying hard not to. "Larry, stop that! What do you think you're doing?" "I just want to see how wet Kate made your pussy." "She said almost the same thing when she came in to see me. Except, she wanted to see how wet you had made it." "Did you let her see?" "Maybe." "Was it wet?" "I'm not telling you that." I pulled my dick out. It wasn't all the way hard, but it was getting there. I moved over closer to her, and rested it on her mattress. Clara's eyes got really big when she saw it. She kept glancing at the door nervously. "Your mom is coming in soon to say her final goodbye before she leaves. I'm not putting this away until you let me see if it's wet or not. I don't think your mom will like seeing how big the dick is that's going to be up inside her daughter's pussy soon. I could be wrong though." "Larry, please put it away." "Is your pussy wet?" "Yes!" Can I touch it to make sure?" "Hurry, but put it away first." I put my dick back in and then I smiled down at her. "Is it okay if I touch your pussy?" She had been moving around under the sheets with her hands down under there too. She reached her hand out and grabbed my hand and brought it down, under the covers. He hospital gown was lifted up over her waist. She put my hand right on her mound. She had her legs spread a little, and now spread them even more for me. I didn't have any difficulty finding out that she was wet. She was very wet. I found her opening and slipped my finger inside for a couple seconds. I took it out and popped it into my mouth and licked it off. When I took it out, I smacked my lips and did one of those Campbell soup ad imitations. " M'm Good! M'm Good!That's what Clara's pussy is. M'm good! The next time I'm alone with you like this Clara, I'm going to slide my dick up in there, right where my finger was. I'm going to put it up in you so far that you'll feel it in your heart." "Tell me that you love me again, Larry. Please. Tell me one more time." "Clarabelle Sandra Townsend, I love you. If you ever try another stupid stunt like you did to get into this hospital, no matter how much it hurts me, I'll never speak to you again. I'm not just saying I love you so that you'll let me sleep with you either. I really do love you." I leaned up and kissed her. There were tears in her eyes. I leaned in again, and kissed each of her eyes too. "Be good, and do what they tell you so that they let you come home soon. Oh, one last thing, before I leave. I love you." I turned and left the room. I didn't look back; I didn't want her to see that there were tears in my eyes too. ------- Chapter 27 My mother spent the rest of the weekend in sometimes heated discussion and negotiation with my father. They spoke, screamed and pleaded with each other, traveling, at various times, throughout every room in our house. My mother threw two cook pots and a large metal serving spoon at various stages in their negotiation. My father slammed several doors in the house, kicked three or four salvaged appliances in the basement, and swore fluently. He managed all this while nursing his wounded ego, and contemplating his next assault on my mother's unexpected resistance to his edicts. He was insisting that she close her dance studio and return to her full time housewife and mother duties. She was telling him that wasn't going to happen. This entire argument was being fought in the Hungarian language, the language they were each most comfortable in. They both knew they could say almost anything, as loud as they wished, because no one else would ever understand what they were saying. By Sunday night, they had arrived at a compromise they could both live with. My mother would keep her business, my father would allow her to continue raising us children as she thought best, and she would stop yelling at him and keeping him from knowing even a single moment of peace. My mother always pretended to be subservient to my father. She was the perfect Hungarian housewife, right up until he told her to do something she didn't want to do. When that happened, she became a liberated American woman, willing and able to stand up and have her voice be heard. Luckily, my father wasn't even close to being as stubborn as she was. By eight thirty Sunday evening, peace once again reigned in our house. Monday morning, right after my father left for work, my mother called Kate and me into the kitchen to explain to us exactly what my father had 'decided'. First, Kate wasn't allowed to go to any more sleepovers at anyone's house. No appeals for this, and, absolutely no exceptions would be allowed. There would be no one sleeping over at our house, and this included Clara too. Second, Clara was welcome to visit our house during the day and early evening, but she had to go home before Kate's bed time. Third, when Kate and Clara were 'studying' in Kate's bedroom, they had to keep the door locked so that no one could possibly disturb their 'studies'. Fourth, Kate and Clara couldn't 'study' when I was in the same room with them. Last, Kate and Clara were to try to make sure that all their 'studying' was done before my father came home at night. When he was at home, Kate's door had to be unlocked at all times. Kate started in yelling about how unfair that was to her, and about how sleepovers were an important part of making and having friends in school. My mother wouldn't budge. Kate appealed to me for support for her request to be allowed to go out on sleepovers. "Kate, don't you think that mom is being as cooperative as possible, trying really hard to be as understanding of your unusual friendship with Clara as she possibly can be?" "What do I say when people ask me why I can't come to their parties now? I always go to sleepover birthday parties, we all do. I promise that nothing bad will happen." My mother spoke up. "Katinka, you saw how difficult it was to get your father to even agree to this much. In sixteen years, we never went through what we have just been through. I never heard him so angry with me. You don't want to know what he would have us do with you. What I am asking you to give up is far less than he would demand of you. I can not ask him to allow more than this. He wouldn't do it anyway. Your papa is the head of this family. We cannot ignore what he says." "For how long is this going to last? When can I do all the things my other friends get to do?" "We have to wait and see. Not soon. Too much has happened for your papa to change his mind anytime soon." "It isn't fair! I'm going to lose all of my school friends. Clara is going to go to those sleepovers without me." "You don't know that, Kate. She might not want to be there if you can't go." I didn't believe that Clara would put Kate through that kind of distress. Clara was more loyal than that. If it had been Clara that couldn't go, and Kate had been allowed, I wasn't so sure this would be what Kate would decide. Kate would probably go. "I'm going to ask Papa myself. He'll let me go." "If you ask him, Clara won't be coming over to study with you. Papa doesn't know that I'm letting her come for that. If you ask your Papa to make changes in this decision, I will step away from it, and you will have to accept only what he allows you." "Kate, you're doing it again. You better stop and think about what you might lose if you try to get more. This sounds a lot better than what I thought you'd get to do." "You get to do whatever you want to, and I have to miss out on all the fun and parties with my friends. You don't care, not as long as you get all of your freedoms." "Go ahead then, ask dad when he gets home. I bet you find out that he won't give you half as much as mom is trying to. Don't come crying to me when you're sitting on a plane heading to the old country." Kate looked at me. She was mad. She knew mom and I were telling her the truth about dad, about what he'd say and do if she tried to get him to loosen mom's rules. I had no doubt what he'd say if he knew that mom was deliberately setting it up so that Clara and Kate would have some private time alone in Kate's room. I was surprised she had found it within herself to give in to them on this one particular area of their relationship. In the battle between her family's happiness and her religious convictions, she had bent more than a little, in order to shield Kate from the need to sneak around. This had to have come at a heavy price to her. I didn't see how Kate could fail to understand mom's sacrifice. Kate went back to her room to finish getting ready for school. I told my mother that I was pleased that she had made this compromise with her own beliefs for Kate's sake. In school Monday morning, Denise was looking at me in every period where we had the same classes. I knew she believed that she couldn't be seen at school even talking to Karen or me. I saw Karen sitting by herself at lunchtime. I sat down, not too far from her and waited until she looked up from her food. Then, I waved to her. She didn't wave back, but she did smile. Harriet came over to me in fifth period English and checked with me to make sure that I still planned to be her date at the dance. I told her that I'd be there in front of the auditorium before seven on Friday. She told me not to bother with getting her a corsage because her mother was getting her one already. I hadn't planned on getting her one, but I just nodded that I understood her. The more I thought about the dance, and about Harriet, the less I was looking forward to it. It was too late to make any drastic changes now though. I didn't want to rock the boat at home now. My parents needed a few quiet weeks to try to mend their own fences. They didn't need to find out anything else about what was going on with me as far as my reputation in school went. What they already knew had troubled them enough. After school, when I opened my locker to change books for what I needed to take home with me, I found a note that had been shoved through the air vents on the locker door. Larry, meet me where we met the last time. I need to see you about something. Wait for me if I'm late. Denise XOXOXOX I read the note quickly, then folded it up, putting it away in my back pocket. I hurried up to make sure that I had what I needed, closed my locker, and left the school. I didn't exactly hurry to get to the corner where Denise and I had met the last time, but I didn't dawdle or tarry either. It seemed like a long time since I'd had to cancel the Saturday rendezvous with Denise. I just hoped she wasn't meeting me to tell me that she had changed her mind, and didn't want to do it with me now. All of the X's and O's she had written under her name made me think that wasn't what she wanted to tell me. Even though I was now sure that I loved Clara, and was thinking that we probably would get married someday, I didn't want to restrict myself to only one girl. I hadn't formulated any kind of restrictions that I wanted to place on Clara either. She had said several things to me that made me think she didn't mind the other dating I was doing. I wasn't sure about how I'd feel if she went out with another boy besides me. I didn't mind about her and Kate, or any other girls either. When I got to the corner where I was supposed to meet Denise, she hadn't gotten there yet. I sat down on my History book and waited for her. I must have been there for about ten minutes before I saw her walking towards me. She was coming from a direction that meant she must have first walked most of the way to her house, and then cut back across to get to the intersection where I waited. "I'm glad you waited. Sheila Farley insisted on walking home with me. I couldn't tell her that I was meeting someone. She'd blab it all over the school. She kept asking me about Karen, and about the dates I'd had with you. She even asked me if it was true about Tommy and me. I couldn't believe she'd have the nerve to even ask me a question like that. What did she think I'd say? Never mind about her though. I was so disappointed when you called me Friday night." "I doubt that you were more disappointed than I was." "Did you at least think about me over the weekend?" "Did I? Only about forty times a day. I even dreamed about you last night." "Was it a good dream?" "Not nearly as good as the real thing would have been." "I was all ready for Saturday. I don't know when we'll get another good chance like that." "You mean I bought all those rubbers for nothing?" "How many did you get?" "Three I think. Plus, I already had one." "Do you know any place where we could go that is private? We can't use my house because of Trudie being there." "Kate is always home at my house. You can't still use your father's workshop?" "Not when Trudie's home. She would come looking for me." "I guess we just have to wait until we can figure something else out. You can't even go out to a movie with me?" "I can't. People are already talking about us. They'd be sure that the rumors about us were true if they saw us out together. Tommy Lampkin had the nerve to ask me to go out with him. He called me last night, and invited me to go out to some stupid party he was going to next Sunday. I told him I wouldn't go out with him, not even if he were the only boy left in the whole world. Not after he's been talking about me like he has been." "Do you ever go bike riding?" "No, I haven't even been on my bike since I was about eleven, or maybe, twelve years old. Trudie rides hers sometime. I think both of my tires are flat." "I don't have any other ideas. My mom is at the dance studio until five every day, but Kate gets home before I do. Wait a minute! I just remembered one place that we could go to. My Aunt is visiting family in Hungary until the end of the month. I can get the key to her apartment above the dance studio. We'd have to keep the noise down while we were up there. Could you tell your parents that you had to go somewhere to study with somebody?" "When?" "Tonight. I could meet you near the apartment at six. My mom would have left already. We could stay there for a couple hours at least, without anybody bothering us." "Suppose someone sees us going in or coming out?" "Hey, she's my Aunt. I'd tell them she was on vacation and I'm watering her plants for her. Nobody will say anything though. Kate and I go up there a lot when we're waiting for my mom to finish up the class after ours. I'd have the key anyway. People wouldn't think anything about it. If you want to do it, this is the best time, before she gets back." "I wasn't thinking about today. I'm not sure I can be ready so quick. I was ready for Saturday, but it's different now." "If you don't want to, I don't mind. I'm just glad I remembered that it was empty and available for me." "Will you go there with someone else if I don't go with you?" "Probably, and even if you do. There's another girl I like too." "Karen?" "No, besides her. This other girl wants to do it with me too." "I'm not going to do it with you, not if you're going to be doing it with a lot of other girls too." "One isn't a lot. You asked me anyway." "I didn't ask you. We talked about it, and I told you I was interested in finding out if Karen told me the truth about how it felt." "Okay. You don't have to do it if you don't want to. I'm not trying to make you do it. I just said we could if you wanted to, because I thought of a place to go. A private place. With a bed and a shower to clean up afterwards. I've only got four rubbers, and I'm not going back to the drug store to get any more. That woman made me really nervous when I bought them this time." "If I went to your Aunt's apartment with you today, would you bring all four of those rubbers? If I like it, maybe we'd need all of them." "You should make up your mind better. Do you want to come and do it with me, or not?" "Where do you want to meet?" "How about in front of the library? It's only a block from the studio, and it would be natural for two kids to be at the library on a school night." "If I say yes, are you certain that you'll be there? I don't want any last minute cancellations like on Saturday." "That wasn't last minute, I called you Friday night." "I meant I don't want to get my hopes up and then have you cancel again." "I'll meet you at the library at six tonight. I'll be there for sure. Will you be there?" "Yes. I've got to get home and tell my mom where I'm going to go tonight, but I'll see you at the library at six." "Wait out in front, don't go in, all right?" "Bring all four, Larry, don't forget." I got home a little before four thirty. I finished my homework by five fifteen. When my mom got home right after, I told her I needed to go out and meet someone at the library so we could look up some stuff for school. I asked her for two dollars so I could get something to eat if I got hungry. I started for the library at five forty. I had three rubbers in my left front pocket, and the spare key to Aunt Agnes' apartment in the right front one. When I got to the library, it was already real dark out, and Denise was waiting right outside at the bottom of the library steps. When she saw me, she waved. She looked pretty nervous when I came up near her. "Hi, are you ready?" "Did you bring all four of them?" "I only found three. My mom must have found the other one where I had it hidden. Three will be enough. I've never used more than one before." "You're saving that other one for some other girl." "Are you coming with me or not? It's cold out here, and I don't feel like standing here talking about this." "I don't know if I should. You aren't being very nice to me." "If you'd quit complaining, we could go somewhere, get warm and discuss this in privacy. I thought you didn't want us being seen together?" "I don't know if I want to go with you or not. Maybe I'll just go with you to see your aunt's apartment. I might not want to let you do anything." I turned towards the side street off of the library and walked the block to my mother's dance studio. In the back, up on the second floor was my aunt's small apartment. It had one small bedroom and a smaller living room, kitchen combination. The bathroom was the best part of the apartment, with a large shower stall, easily big enough to hold four people at once. Before my mom and Aunt Agnes rented the building, it had been the phone company's office. They built their own building, and my mom leased this one from them at a good price. This apartment was where some of the operators had gone for their coffee breaks, and the bathroom had been for employees to come in to clean up after their shift. My father had changed some of the walls around to fix it up as a livable apartment for Aunt Agnes. When I opened the door, I went in and turned on the light in my aunt's bedroom. There were no windows in there, so the light wouldn't be as noticeable. Denise stood in the living room, looking all around. "It isn't very big, is it?" "No, but my aunt lives here alone." "It isn't very nice either." "My dad made it into an apartment. It doesn't cost my aunt anything for rent, and she doesn't own a car or drive, so she doesn't have to walk far to go to work. It's nice enough. There's a real good bed. Do you want to see it?" Denise smiled when I asked her that. She was a lot prettier with a smile on her face. I smiled back at her. "Come here and just look at it. It's real comfortable. You can bounce on it if you want to." She came to the bedroom doorway and looked in at the bed. Aunt Agnes didn't have too much furniture. She had the bed, a small dresser and a nightstand. My father had made her a closet and stuck a five foot long piece of pipe across for her to put her hanging up clothes. There wasn't a closet door though. When Denise came in and sat on the bed, I closed the bedroom door so the light wouldn't shine through it so much. I came over and sat down next to Denise, casually throwing my arm over her shoulder. "Don't try anything until I decide what I want to do. I'm starting to wonder if I should have come here with you." "I'm glad you did, Denise. It's exciting just knowing we're all alone and can do whatever we want to do." "I know what you want to do, Larry. I can't decide if I want to let you or not. Karen said it was really good when you did it to her, but I'm a little nervous. Suppose you start and I don't even like it? I didn't like it when Tommy did it. Will you take it out if I tell you to?" "Why don't we just start kissing, Denise? Just like we were at the movies on a date. I can turn the light off and we can just kiss for awhile. I won't even try to feel you up if you don't want me to." "That sounds all right. I need to take my jacket off. How come it's so warm if your aunt isn't here now?" "My mom only left an hour ago. She has to heat the studio, and the hot air comes up here. This is the last place in the whole building to get cold at night. I'm taking my coat off too, so we'll be even. Can I shut the light off?" "Okay. But come back right away. I don't want to be here alone in the dark." I flipped the light switch off, and made my way back to the bed. Denise and I started kissing, and I was pleasantly surprised at how willing she was to let me French kiss her right away. When I reached a hand up to put it on her chest, she didn't stop me or try to move away. It wasn't too long before we started taking different parts of our clothes off. Soon after we started taking things off, Denise and I were laying down together on the bed, and she had her hand on my dick, rubbing it. It took me some persuading to get her to take her panties off. She was letting me play with her pussy, but she didn't want to take off this last piece of clothing. When I started sucking on her little titties, and rubbing her clit, she decided to let me take them off. I started kissing my way down to her pussy. She had said to me several times in the past that she wanted me to lick her down there. I ended up teasing her by kissing and licking all around it, but not actually licking her pussy. "I'm ready now, Larry. You can lick me now." I started licking her and using my finger too. She liked it a lot, and tried to make it easy for me to keep doing it to her. It wasn't very long before she was moving her hips and telling me to do it faster. My tongue was licking and sucking around her clit and my two fingers were moving in and out of her really fast. I felt it as soon as she started to cum. She started squeezing my fingers really tight and then she was moving all around and telling me how good it felt. I let her rest after a couple minutes. I felt around for the rubber I'd brought with me to the bed after I took my pants off. I opened the package and felt for the way it was wrapped. I rolled the rubber on and moved up until I was on top of Denise, kissing her face. When she felt my dick bobbing around by her pussy, she got all nervous again. I knew she was wet enough already, and I knew the two fingers I had been using had helped to loosen her up. I put the head of my pecker right where her hole was, and pushed it in about an inch and a half. "Are you ready to do it with me, Denise?" She lifted her arms up and brought my head down to hers, kissing me passionately. I put some more in her, maybe another inch, waiting to see how she reacted. She didn't change anything she had been doing. I put some more in, now I was in deeper than my fingers had been. Denise started groaning like it was hurting her a little, so I started pulling back to where I had been. "No, don't take it out. Just go slow when you put it in past where you are. It feels good. I'm not used to anything that big. It will take time for me to get used to. Karen was also right about this." I started making short strokes, in and out, waiting for her to give me some signal that she was ready for me to go in deeper. I could feel her pussy wrapping itself around my cock. With Karen, I had gone in until I hit something at the bottom that bothered her. When I did, I backed out a little ways and didn't put it in farther than that anymore. When I got to the bottom with Denise, she really liked it every time I bumped her there. I didn't seem to hurt her at all. She started liking every part of what I was doing. "Larry, try doing it from behind me like Tommy did. I think I might like it that way with you." She pulled back, and then turned over. She raised her butt up in the air. Denise didn't have a butt like Karen's. It was skinnier and not as round shaped. I wished I'd done it this way with Karen. I got my dick back in her and was starting to get my rhythm right for doing it from behind. The more I got my rhythm, the more Denise seemed to lose hers. In a minute, she was cumming, and that made me cum too. She was pushing back at me, and I was slamming into her real hard and trying to get as deep as I could. That was a real nice feeling. After I took it out, I went into the bathroom and took the rubber off, and then cleaned my dick in the sink. I flushed the toilet with the rubber in it, and went back to the bedroom. I told Denise I wanted to leave the bathroom light on so I could look at her. We were both looking. Denise had breasts that looked smaller without her bra on. I liked them. Her pussy was really nice. Her clit was big like Clara's, and she had smaller pussy lips than either Clara or Karen had. I started licking her pussy some more, but Denise asked me if I could do it to her again. I got another rubber, and this time Denise watched as I put it on. She wanted to do it from the back again, and I sure didn't mind. I came again, but I was getting really tired, because it took a lot of energy to keep moving in her as fast as she wanted me to. I don't know is she came that time or not, but she sure did when I licked her right after. We rested and talked after. She told me that Karen was sure right about it when she told her how good it felt being licked on the pussy, especially with me doing her with my fingers at the same time. I went in and got rid of the second rubber, flushing it down the toilet, just like I'd done with the first one. When I got back, I told Denise we had better get cleaned up and leave. "You still have one more rubber, Larry. Can't we use that one too?" "No more today, Denise, I'm too tired. I don't even think I can." "Can we come back tomorrow night? Don't use that last rubber on anyone else. I want to do it with you some more. I wish it had been you who did it to me two summers ago, instead of Tommy. He didn't do it right. Your way is a lot better." I told her that I couldn't do it the next night because I had to stay home with my sister. I told her Wednesday might be good. She wanted me to let her hold my last rubber, so I wouldn't be tempted to waste it on some other girl. I had a bunch at home, so I let her talk me into it. We straightened the bed up after we got dressed again. Denise and I went into the bathroom together and I washed my face good with soap and hot water. I left the toilet seat down, just like it had been, and looked around carefully to see that everything was just like I'd found it. This time, I made real sure that I had the two empty rubber wrappers in my pocket. I locked up after we left, and then I walked Denise almost all the way to her house. I waited until she went inside before I turned away and headed home. I was glad that Denise and I had finally done it. I liked it better with Karen though. That was one of the things I had wondered about, whether I could tell the difference between doing it with one girl or another. Now I knew that I could tell the difference. Clara tasted different than either Karen or Denise. I liked Clara's taste the best, and her smell too. I liked Clara a lot better than Karen, and I liked Karen better than Denise. I wondered how Eileen would fit in if I did it with her too. Would she be better at it than the other two girls I'd already done it with? Now that I had this place to go to, I'd probably find out. Clara was supposed to be released from the hospital the next morning. I couldn't wait to see her again. ------- Chapter 28 Tuesday in school, Denise came over before the bell rang for the start of the first class that we both had together, and just started talking to me. She didn't seem to care too much that everyone was looking at the two of us speaking together. She didn't talk about what we had done the night before, but she did mention that she had already told her mother that she was going to be studying over at a friend's house on Wednesday. Karen was in this class with us also. I looked over at her, while Denise was talking, and I gave her a smile. "Why are you looking at her when I'm the one talking to you?" "Because she's my friend too, and I want her to know I'm not upset with her." I said this loud enough that Karen could hear it too. "I'm still mad at her, and I don't want to ever talk to her again." "Then, don't. I don't care. That doesn't mean I have to be mad at her too." "You should be. Maybe you don't care what she said about us, but I do. Because of her, now people believe a lot of lies about me." "Maybe I do care, but being mad isn't going to make it any better. I don't believe in carrying grudges like that." After hearing me say that, Denise decided to go over to her desk and sit down. This was apparently the ending of her brief foray into rebellious behavior in public. I could see that this exchange had left her upset with me, again. She didn't try to speak with me anymore for the rest of the day. Karen did wave to me at lunch, but she didn't come over to sit with me. After school, I walked over to Clara's house to find out if she had gotten home yet. It was only about three fifteen when I got there, and Mr. Townsend had come home already. I saw his car sitting in their driveway. Not wanting to have to deal with him, in case he was mad at me, I didn't go up to her door and knock. I went home instead, and then called over there. Mrs. Townsend answered the phone, and I asked her if Clara had gotten home all right. She seemed like she didn't want to talk to me at first, but then she told me that Clara was home, and in her room resting. I could hear Mr. Townsend yelling at someone in the background. He was really yelling loud. "Larry, I think it would be better if you waited until tomorrow, or even Thursday, before you try contacting Clara. We're in the middle of a family emergency right now, and it would just be better if you allow us some time to get everything resolved. Clara is fine. She should be back in school by next Monday." I thanked her and asked her to let Clara know that I had called and was thinking about her. I found Kate sitting in her room, being glum about her life in general, and my mother's unreasonable rules in particular. She had called over to speak with Clara too, and had been told pretty much the same thing that I had been told. I went into my room and started doing my homework. The phone rang about five minutes after I got started studying, and I could hear Kate scrambling to get to answer it before I did. "Larry, it's for you. Some girl." I got up and took the receiver out of her hand. "Hello?" Hi Larry. Do you know who this is?" I didn't recognize the voice. "No." "I'll give you a hint, I'm in your English and Spanish classes. Can you guess now?" "No. Can you give me a better hint?" "I'm a friend of Karen Gless. In fact, we're best friends now." "Mandy Rice?" "You got it, and with only one guess. Are you surprised that I'm calling you?" "A little bit. Did Karen ask you to call me for her?" "No. She doesn't even know I'm doing it. I don't want you to say anything to her, or to anyone else either. I was calling to ask you some questions about things that Karen told me about. Things you did to her. She said you aren't going to tell people anything about what you've done." "I'm not, so you've wasted your call." I was getting ready to hang up. Mandy wasn't really a girl that anyone got along with that well. She was a teacher's pet, always doing things to get in good with the teachers. If she really was Karen's new best friend, then Karen was in a lot of trouble, socially speaking. "I don't want to ask you about Karen, Larry. I want you to tell me if something someone told me is true or not. Somebody told me that some girls let boys put their things in their mouth, and suck them. I want to know if you've heard of that, or if he was making it up. Do girls really do that?" "Sure, I've heard of it. French people do it all the time. It's called sucking off, or blow jobs. There's a fancy French name for it, but I don't remember what it is. I think it's mostly done overseas though." "You never had a girl do it to you?" "No, but I talked to a girl once that said she did it." "Is it true that a boy has to put his thing in a girl's vagina for her to get pregnant?" "That's true, or he can put his cum in her some other way I guess. She needs to have his sperm in her to fertilize her eggs in her ovaries. Didn't you pay any attention to Health class? It was on the test and everything." "I was sick on some of those days. Why did you lick Karen down there?" "I told you I won't answer those kinds of questions. Are you done?" "No. Would you tell anybody if I let you do that to me? Lick me down there?" "I wouldn't tell anyone because there would be nothing to tell. I don't want to do that to you." "Why not? What's wrong with me?" "I didn't say anything was wrong with you. I don't like you that way, that's all. It isn't something you just do to anyone, like dancing or shaking hands." "Well, if you change your mind, let me know. Don't tell Karen I called you. I'll see you in school tomorrow." I hung up the phone, went back to my room, and to my unfinished homework. Right before five, I got another phone call. This one was from Denise. The first part of our conversation was all about why I had acted like that in front of everyone in class. I had to listen as she ticked off the names of every person who were watching the two of us. Denise said I had embarrassed her in front of all of them. When she got all done with everything about that, I told her that I wasn't the one who had picked a fight over Karen, she was. That led to about five minutes of her telling me that she was entitled to better treatment than Karen was, because she wasn't going around telling everybody what we had done together. "Look, that's a good point, but it doesn't mean I can't smile or say hello to Karen if I want to. I already said that I could see how you might still be mad at her. Why else do you think I should treat you better than Karen?" "You know why, last night." "I did that with her too." "I did it twice with you." "I'll have to see if Karen wants to catch up with you." She hung up on me. I went back into my room again. My mother had gotten home right after I got back in my room, after Denise's first phone call. When the phone rang again, my mother answered it. "Larry, telephone." "Hello?" "Hi Larry, this is Denise again." I waited until I heard my mother hanging up the phone in the kitchen. "Hi, Denise." "I've decided not to be mad with you for saying that to me." "Good." "That's all you have to say, good?" "What am I supposed to say? I'm happy that you aren't mad." "You could say you were only kidding about Karen catching up." I stood there, the receiver in my hand, but held away from my ear, just in case. After a short time, Denise continued. "I know you didn't mean that anyway." I didn't say anything. This time, she didn't speak either. "I need to get my homework done before dinner." "I'm sorry I bothered you. I don't know why I keep trying to be nice to you. All you ever do is insult me, and make me feel bad about liking you." "I guess we just want different things, Denise. I want to be friends with you, but you seem to always want to make me do only what you want me to do. I want to do what I like, not what you like for me. I can't help it if you feel bad and feel like I'm insulting you every time I choose to do that." "I was hoping you'd want to be my boyfriend, Larry, not just friends." "I'm not really ready for going steady. I'm just starting to like girls." "I'm not going to keep trying to get you to like me, not if you aren't even willing to try to like me back the same way as I like you. I don't think I'm going to meet you at the library tomorrow like we said." "Maybe that's a good thing. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad. I didn't want to do that. I do like you, but I don't want to only be able to have one friend. I guess I'll see you in school tomorrow then. Can you bring that last thing? The one you were holding for me?" "I'm not bringing that to school. I'll probably just throw it away. You'll probably just go out and buy some more anyway." "I'll see you in school, good bye." Wednesday, Harriet came up to me, and told me that she had changed her mind, and didn't want me to take her to the Winter dance anymore. She said she was afraid everyone in school would think she was cheap if they saw her dancing with me. I didn't try to talk her out of it. I was mad about the money my mom had spent on the tickets, but that was the only reason why I even cared. Later, some people told me that Harriet was going around telling everyone that when she told me that she wouldn't go to the dance with me, I'd begged her to reconsider her decision. That made me mad. Not mad enough to say anything about it to her, but mad enough to not talk to her, if she ever approached me again. I noticed that Mandy Rice was looking at me in Spanish class too. I wondered who it was that had tried to talk her into sucking their dick. I looked over right next to where she was sitting and noticed Tommy Lampkin sitting there. I bet that was who it was. If it was him, he was more than welcome to her. At least as far as I was concerned. I was thinking about Mandy and Tommy all during Spanish class. When Mrs. Nettles called my name to conjugate a verb, I didn't know what she wanted, because I hadn't been paying attenttion. I got a lot of horse laughs from all the other kids. I usually paid attention in that class, because I wasn't that good with foreign languages. Mrs. Nettles didn't give me too much grief over not listening. I walked home Wednesday, thinking about how much things were changing around me. It was the pace of these changes, as well as the complexity of them, that I found most upsetting. Before, it seemed like almost everything had changed at a slow pace for me. I used to be frustrated by how much time had to pass before I could stay up later at night, or be able to go places without anyone to look after me. Everything had been so slow to change, my friends, the things I did for fun, even the relationship I had with my parents. I had experieced problems before, sometimes even serious ones, like that vandalism thing, but even those kinds of things weren't complicated problems. Another thing was that I didn't need to solve any of the serious ones by myself. Now, it felt like everything was moving so fast, and all of the serious problems I was having were about things I couldn't go to my parents about. To make it worse, they all seemed to be related to my new main interest, girls. You would have to be pretty stupid not to understand that it was just going to keep getting more complicated if I kept adding new girls to the equation. There was also the fact that these relationships with different girls weren't surviving even one month. A week was probably more like it. If it was longer than that, there were times when either the girls were mad at me, or I was mad at them. Even though I seemed to be learning new things every day, it was coming with a big emotional price tag. I no longer had a single guy friend that I could call up and ask to hang out with for an afternoon. Eileen and I hadn't spoken for a long time. Karen and I were in a lot of trouble together, and forced by our parents to not associate with each other. Clara had tried to kill herself, at least partly because of me. Denise was unhappy because I didn't want to stay with only her. Most of the other girls at school, the ones who might be interested in me, were afraid to show it because of my terrible reputation. All of this had happened since my birthday, only three month earlier. Harriet, Donna, Mandy and other girls were making it plain that, although they were interested, it wasn't worth it to them to brave the scorn of their friends to be seen with me. In the middle of all this soul searching, my taking my social inventory, I realized that I was getting an erection. I had planned on going to Aunt Agnes' apartment with Denise on this Wednesday night, and now I had ruined that for myself by trying to be honest. I knew she wasn't going to throw that rubber away either. Some other boy was going to be screwing her with a rubber that I had spent my father's hard earned money on. Even that thought helped me to be horny. I walked in my house just before three thirty. Kate was sitting in the living room with Clara. For some reason, as happy as I was to see her sitting there, it felt awkward with Kate there too. I think we all felt that. Kate and Clara had both been crying. I listened as Clara told me that her mother and father had finally decided to get a divorce. Clara was the cause of that decision. At least, that was how Clara described it to us. Her father had packed his clothes and moved out of the house Tuesday night. After he had left, Mrs. Townsend had told Clara that she could come over and see Kate and me after school the next day. I felt bad for her, and so did Kate. We told her that her parents hadn't been getting along together long before this latest thing had come up. She already knew that. Still, we said it to try to get her to not blame herself. We didn't want her getting all upset and trying to kill herself again. Clara's mom must have had the same concern, that was why she sent her over to see us. The funny part was, none of us even once thought about any sex stuff while she was there visiting. I know that because when she got ready to go back home, all three of us talked about it right after Kate first mentioned it. After Clara left, Kate and I talked. Both of us were worried about her. Kate asked me if I would help her convince mom that Clara should stay with us for a few days, however long it took, until she got used to the idea of her parents getting divorced. "It's dad that would need to approve it Kate. I don't think he would. Not even if you promised that nothing would go on in your bedroom. It's still too soon after that other business." "We need to do something. You saw how sad she was." "She wasn't so bad. We were as upset as she was. You want her here as much for you as for her. I'm sure her mom is watching her and talking to her everyday. There probably aren't any sleeping pills left that she can get her hands on either." Kate and I went to our rooms and started doing our schoolwork. I had told Kate about Harriet cancelling out on me at the last minute for the dance. I had asked her whether she thought I should tell my mom what had happened, or not. Kate's advice was for me to say nothing, go to the dance, and enjoy myself. That was pretty much what I thought would be best too. I continued to think this right up until Kate came bursting through my door screaming that I should call Clara and ask her to go with me to the dance. I saw one huge, nearly insurmountable problem with that. Clara was an eighth grader. I was already expecting to get a hard time from the juniors and seniors just for showing up at the dance. If I came with an eighth grader, especially a tall, skinny, flat chested eighth grader, I might really be asking for it. I told all of this to Kate in pretty much those exact words. She flinched when I called Clara skinny and flat chested. "If you took her, no matter how bad it was for you, Clara would be so happy. She'd be the only junior high school kid there. Larry, you just have to do it." "Kate, it's too late to be asking her. The dance is Friday night." "So what? It's only a dance. Clara has that pretty cream gown she wore at the last dance recital. She looks great in it. You can wear your dark brown suit. You two would look great together. Larry, it would mean so much to Clara. She'd go absolutely ape just because it was you that asked her. Larry, you have to do this. For Clara. If you do this, I promise I won't ask you to do anything else for me, ever. Larry, come on. I wish I could be there to see her face when you ask her." "Her mom might not let her go. Pop might get all excited when he hears about it. There are just too many reasons why we shouldn't do it." "Think about Clara, Larry. Think about doing something so fantastic that she would stop thinking about everything else but going to this dance with you. You know this would have that much of an effect on her. I'm going crazy with excitement, and it isn't even me. You two will be the best dancers there. Mom should be willing to drive you there and back, if only because of all the great advertising the studio is going to get." "I doubt if we'd be the best dancers, but, even if we were, somebody would say something mean to Clara and ruin it for her." "Larry, no one could ruin it for her. Just the fact that you'd ask her to a high school dance, that you wanted to take her, and not some other girl. Clara would never forget that. No matter what. And, she really needs this right now." "I'll talk to mom. If she thinks it's a good idea, I'll call Clara." "Don't call her, go over there and ask her. This is the best idea I've ever had! She's going to be so excited. If you guys do go, you have to promise me to get me one of those pictures they take of you." Later, when my mom got home, I told her about Harriet backing out on our date. I told her the reason that Harriet had given me. I also told her how bad I felt about the wasted money for the tickets. "The tickets, don't worry. That girl should be ashamed for doing that like she did. Laurant, you wouldn't want to take a girl like that anywhere. It is she who needs to be sorry, not you." "Anyu, Kate had an idea. I'm not sure it would be good, but I wanted to ask you about it. Clara's mother and father have decided to get divorced. Her father moved out yesterday. Clara feels like she's responsible for this. Kate's idea was that my taking Clara to this dance would cheer her up. It would also mean the tickets wouldn't get wasted. Kate thinks it would also be good advertising for the dance studio, because Clara and I would look good dancing together. I told Kate I'd see what you think." "You don't want to do this, Laurant, for what reason?" "These dances are mostly for the juniors and seniors. They don't like it when the younger students come to them. They can do things to make the younger kids feel bad about being there." "You were going with this other girl, this Harriet, is she that much older than you?" "No, she's only fourteen, like me." "So, Clara is six months younger than you. Is six months that much to these children?" "Clara isn't even in high school, Harriet is." "If you don't want to go, you don't have to. If you do go, I think it would be nice if you took Clara. Dancing cheers everyone up." "If I ask her, I'd need a ride to and from the dance. I wouldn't want to ask pop, not when he's still upset about Clara and Kate." "I would drive you. Before you ask her, you should first ask her mother. There might be a reason why she wouldn't want Clara to go out with you." I called Clara's house. Mrs. Townsend answered. "This is Larry. I was wondering if you think Clara might need some cheering up? She seemed very upset today when I saw her." "She is upset. I'm afraid this whole mess is going to be hardest on her. Of course, she is blaming herself for it, although none of it is any of her fault. Her father's problems are with me, and mine with him. Try explaining that to Clara though." I told her about the dance, and about wanting to come over to ask Clara in person. She asked me some questions. It was obvious, because of the way she worded the questions, that Clara couldn't overhear her end of our conversation. I answered questions, some about how we would be getting to and from the dance, the kind of chaperons supervising at the dance, whether my parents would be all right with my going to the dance with Clara. Finally, she got to the important question. "Larry, if you do take her to this dance, you do understand, to her, it would mean more than just a dance? To her, it would mean a lot more than that. Would it mean more to you as well?" "I love Clara already. I don't want to make a big thing about that, not at our ages. If it means that she knows I really care for her, that's good by me. It isn't like I'm doing this because I want to go steady with her. If you are asking if I will be happy that I'm with Clara instead of another girl, the answer is yes, I will be." "Then, you have my permission to ask her. If she says yes, she has my permission to go." "Since this was Kate's idea, can she come over with me when I ask Clara?" "That is very thoughtful, Larry. Yes, I'm sure that Clara will want a witness to this important social triumph, and who could possibly be better for that than Kate?" Kate and I walked over to Clara's house. I got nervous just thinking about what it would be like if Clara decided she didn't want to go to this dance with me. I knew she wasn't thinking about dancing, or any kind of social stuff right now. She might say no just because she wasn't in the mood to go to any dance. If Kate had even the slightest reservations about any of my fears, she sure didn't mention them to me while we walked. I got to Clara's front door and rang their bell. I was expecting Mrs Townsend to answer the door and let us in. When Clara opened the door, it surprised me. Suddenly, I became too shy to say anything to her. When I didn't say anything for awhile, Kate shoved me from behind. "Clara, we came here to see if you wanted to go to the Winter dance with me on Friday night? I know it doesn't give you any time to prepare... I had to stop then, because the sound of Clara and Kate screaming at each other was too loud for me to talk over. I somehow got lost in all of their shared excitement. They were halfway to Clara's room to look at her cream colored gown when Clara suddenly stopped, and turned back to look at me. "Yes! Yes, I'll go with you! We'll be back in a few minutes, Larry. Don't leave." Mrs. Townsend was standing about ten feet away from me, taking all of the excitement in. She was already getting teary eyed from watching the girls racing excitedly back to Clara's room. "That went well, Larry. Do you feel like you've been forgotten by those two?" "It's worth it to see her smiling about something." "Yes, it is worth it. Sometimes, when you get older, you forget about how something can come along that is so exciting that it makes you forget everything else. Kate is just as excited for Clara, as Clara is for herself." "They are very close. Closer than sisters." "I'd say so! I just hope that their kind of closeness doesn't cause them a lot of pain in the future." "You are worrying about something that isn't what you think it is. I've seen Clara with Kate. You don't have to worry. Maybe we have to worry about Kate, but Clara is different. It is easier for her to get privacy with Kate than with me, because Kate's a girl. She likes it with Kate, and right now it isn't important to her where she gets her 'tingles' from, only that she gets them. If you wait until she and I do it, you'll see her change, I can almost guarantee it." "Because you are so irresistible?" The was a little dab of derision in her voice as she asked that. "No, nothing like that. When Clara gets excited, she really lets herself go. I saw it a couple times when I was with her and that happened. I saw what she wanted, and no girl has one. If Kate had one, she'd be perfect for Clara. I'm Kate, except I have one. Clara knows that. She's seen it, and she's touched it. She wants it." "Jesus, Larry, you can't say things like that to your girlfriend's mother! Especially if it happens to be true. Which, I suspect it is." "I didn't want you to keep being worried about Clara only liking girls. She doesn't now, and after we do it, she'll really know that, and so will you." "You make it sound like it is something that is going to happen right away." "The next time we're alone together, somewhere that's private. I already told her that." "What did she say when you told her that?" "She told me to put my dick back in my pants before you came back into her hospital room and saw it. Then, she took my hand and brought it down, under the sheet, so I could see how wet her pussy was." "I can't really be having this conversation with a fourteen year old boy. Do you talk this way in front of your parents, Larry?" "No. I just thought you might like something to take your mind off all those other worries and troubles you've been having. This is something different for you to think and worry about." "You are also saying that Clara already wants this? You aren't forcing her to do anything against her will?" "I wasted a rubber once because she changed her mind at the last possible minute. I already had it on, and the tip was right against her pussy. All I had to do was push it in. She asked me to stop, and so I did. I had already licked her to two cums too." "Where the hell were you when I was thirteen? Never mind, I know the answer already. Is there any other information that you feel compelled to tell me?" "I did tell Clara that I wouldn't marry her until she grew some nice, big, soft titties, just like the ones you have." "This is probably the most honest, and certainly the most fascinating conversation I've ever had with any male. To think that it is with a fourteen year old boy. You have to stop talking to me like that, Larry. From now on, other conversations are going to bore me and probably put me right to sleep. I'm already imagining the pillow talk that you will be sharing with my not very innocent thirteen year old daughter. If she is still thinking about killing herself, with you around, she must really be depressed." Kate and Clara came out of Clara's room. To me, it was obvious that they had done at least some kissing while they had been gone. Both of them had an excited gleam in their eyes. I walked over to Clara, putting my arms around her and kissing her on the lips. "I bet your pussy is nice and wet right now." I whispered this in her ear, softly enough that Kate couldn't hear what I said. Clara blushed, but didn't deny it. "I'll bet your mother's is just as wet." Clara looked at me sharply. I watched as she looked over at her mother. There was a moment of doubt in her eyes. Then, she laughed. a full, throaty, Clara, type of laugh. "Should I ask her when you leave?" "I dare you to ask her, and then tell me what she said." "Did you say something to her? Like those things you said to me in the hospital?" "I just told her all the things you and I have done, and described what I'm going to do when I get the chance." "With me, or her?" "Just you. She's too old for me. She gets me hot though, but only because she already looks like you're going to." "I'm going to tell her you said that." "Don't tell her the part about her being too old." "You don't want to hurt her feelings?" "No, my chances!" ------- Chapter 29 Thursday, Denise was waiting for me right in front of the school when I first arrived. She flashed me one of her biggest smiles, acting as though she and I had never been in any arguments at all. "Larry, you didn't call me last night. I was waiting for you to call." "I didn't know you'd be at home. I thought you said you'd be out studying with a friend?" "I would have been, but my friend was busy with all his other friends. He didn't have any time to spend with me." "Are you going to be at the library at six o'clock tonight? I don't have anything planned for then." "Are you going to be nice to me if I am?" "I don't know about nice, but I can help you increase your lead over Karen. Do you still have my rubber?" "Yes, of course. You didn't think I'd really throw it away did you?" "I hoped you wouldn't. I plan on needing it, and maybe more than just that one." Denise smiled at me again. She really was a very pretty girl. She kept surprising me too, with her willingness to get over being upset with me about all the things I wouldn't give in on. I wondered why she wasn't like that with Karen. I decided to talk to her about it. If Mandy Rice was really Karen's new best friend, that was bad. Mandy shouldn't be anyone's best friend, except for possibly some teacher's. Mandy had no loyalty to peers, no real sense of honor at all. She was a consummate back stabber. Over the years, Mandy had tattled on so many of her schoolmates that no one trusted her anymore. She would try to use Karen, finding a way to betray all of her secrets, in order to gain some favor with another group. I could only hope that Karen realized that, and wasn't confiding in Mandy. When I got to my locker, Karen and Mandy were standing outside our homeroom, whispering together. Later in the day, during lunch period, I saw the two of them again, sitting together, eating their lunches and talking. I went over and sat down at their table. Neither looked happy with me being there. I smiled at both of them. "Hi Karen. Hi Mandy. I hope you two don't mind if I join you?" Neither one spoke to me. "Say, Mandy, did you ever decide whether or not to suck Tommy's dick?" Mandy paled at first and then she reddened. Karen put her hand over her mouth and tried, not very successfully, to stifle her laugh. It came out like a choking noise, so at least she had managed to mask and disguise it somewhat. "Mandy called me, Karen, wanting to know if Tommy was lying to her about girls sucking boys, but I told her he wasn't. She seemed more interested though in trying to interest me in licking her pussy. I told her I wouldn't want to do that." Mandy was trying to get up and away from me as quickly as she could. I wasn't talking in a low voice or a whisper. I wanted the people nearby to hear what I said. "Mandy, I'm so sorry. I forgot that you asked me not to tell Karen about your phone call. Best friends shouldn't have any secrets from each other though." By the time I finished saying that, Mandy was halfway across the room. I got up from the table and left without saying anything more to Karen. I felt bad about doing that to Mandy, but I thought Karen needed to see what kind of a false friend Mandy really was. I guess word about what I'd said had gotten around pretty quickly. Several people said things to me about it. Most were positive, but a few said that I'd been really cruel to her. When I was heading over for my last period class, Tommy Lampkin accosted me in the hallway. "What's this shit I hear, Larry? You've been saying things about me to people?" He had pushed me on my shoulder when he said that, not too hard, more like to add emphasis to what he was saying. "Push me like that again Tommy, but only if you want me to kick your ass some more. Is that what you really want?" I was banking on Tommy not wanting to get into another fight on school grounds. He'd been threatened with permanent expulsion if he did. "I only told the truth, that you were trying to get Mandy Rice to give you a blowjob." "Well, I don't want you bringing my name up in any of your smart assed conversations, you hear me?" This time, he didn't try to lay a finger on me. I didn't want to try to push him any farther, but I couldn't just back down either. "If I decide to do it again, and you have a problem with it, you know where to find me. I'm not going to let you tell me what I can say." There, I'd said something that he could leave alone, and neither of us would have to take it any farther. "If you do say anything about me, and I don't like it, I will come and see you again." "That suits me just fine." "Dick head." Well, he had called me a name. I had to respond. If I failed to call him a name, it would look like I was the one backing down. If the name I called him was worse than what he had called me, the fight would be on. I didn't want to fight, but I didn't want to look like I was afraid to either. "Takes one to know one." That was pretty tame, but well used for all of that. I'd heard it on playgrounds since I'd first begun school. It was the least offensive insult I could think of. Best of all, saying it would be defensible in any later conversations with people about just who had been the one that backed down. I was saying he was a dick head too, only it was in a round about way. Tommy looked like he was weighing his options, and toting up the score of our little verbal exchange. He must have liked the score he came up with, because he just smiled at me and then turned away. We both went into class, right before the final bell rung for us to already be in our seats. My seat was near the door, while Tommy's was across the other side of the room. I sat down before he did, so he was the one who got yelled at for being late, and holding up the class. After school, I hurried home and tried to get all of my homework done before I had to leave to go meet Denise at the library. I ate two apples and a banana while I studied. I wanted to keep my strength up because I was probably going to miss supper again. I heard Kate and Clara in Kate's room. They were being noisier than usual. I listened for a minute, smiling as I thought of what they both were probably doing. My dick got hard just from imagining it. That alone made it hard for me to keep on studying. My mother had said that they couldn't do anything together while I was in the same room with them. I got up and went over and tried Kate's bedroom door. It was locked. I knocked on it. I heard some mad scrambling around and some heated but hushed whispering. "It's only me Kate. I need to ask you girls a question. A minute later, Clara opened the door. She was naked from the waist down, and her shirt was all the way unbuttoned. She looked fantastic! Sexy as all get out. She stood there, one hand balanced on her hip. "What do you want, Larry?" I looked past her to Kate, reclined on her bed. She had a small carrot sticking halfway out of her pussy, I noticed that it was the thicker end which she kept inside her. Her fingers were busy working on the top of her pussy as well. I finally managed to look away from her, and back to Clara. Clara had moved her shirt away from one nipple, and was running one of her wettened fingers over it and the raised areola beneath it. They were deliberately teasing me. I wasn't complaining about it though. "I wanted to know if you had told your mom about what I said to you?" I could see my question had surprised Clara. Kate just looked puzzled. I assumed, from her puzzled look, that Clara must not have told Kate what I'd said the night before. Clara laughed and nodded her head up and down at me. "Really? What did she say?" "She said that I was lucky, and she was sure I was going to enjoy myself with you. I think she meant at the dance." "Did she say anything else?" Again, Clara nodded. She stopped playing with her nipple, and started rubbing between her legs. she was getting that glazed expression on her face again, the one that she had the time she was pressing my dick against the top of her pussy. "Tell me." "I told her that you told me not to tell her she was too old for you, because you didn't want to hurt your chances with her." "What did she say?" "She said eighteen years wasn't that much older. I think she was just kidding though." "Probably. Just in case she wasn't, tell her that I don't think it's too much either." "I'm not going to say that to her. She's my mother. I don't want you doing things with my mother, Larry." "Why not? You do things with my sister. Kate, are you finished with that carrot? I'm hungry and there's nothing to eat in this house. That's our last carrot too." "That isn't true! There's a whole bunch of carrots in the fridge, Larry." "Go get me that carrot, Clara, before she makes it too soggy for me to eat." Clara and Kate wrestled on the bed for the carrot, and I closed and locked their door, before heading back over to my room. They were laughing and yelling and whispering together, and then it got pretty quiet for about ten minutes. Soon after that though, there was a knock at my door. I opened it up, Kate was standing there, stark naked, holding the carrot out in front of her. Clara, just as naked, was standing behind her, watching the two of us. I took the carrot from her and took a real big bite. While I was chewing on that bite, I made a big production out of smelling the rest of the carrot. They hadn't washed it off. I ate the rest of the carrot while they watched. When I was done, they ran back to Kate's room and locked the door behind them. In a minute, there were groans coming from both of them. I went back to my homework, but I was still finding it hard to concentrate on it. At five thirty, I thanked my mother for the two dollars I'd just been given, and went out into the night. There were two packets of rubbers, and Aunt Agnes' apartment key in my pocket. When I got to the library at five forty five, Denise was already standing outside waiting for me. We didn't have any coyness this time. Denise started undressing as soon as we got to the bedroom. She paused with doing that long enough to hand me the rubber packet, and then went back and finished undressing. I had been planning on making out with her first, and then, finally, doing it with her. That wasn't her agenda though. "Put the rubber on and do it to me, Larry, that's what I want to do first. We can do the other stuff after. I've been thinking about you all day." She was on the bed, on her hands and knees, leaving no doubt whatever about what position she preferred to do it in. I managed to get out of everything but my socks, and rolled the rubber on using only one hand. I got behind her, putting my hand between her legs, checking on her pussy to make sure that she was wet enough. I needn't have worried. She was soaked. I used my hand to line my dick up and started working it in. Denise was pushing back, helping me, as soon as I took my hand away. It was like she had started before me. I was just getting going, and she was already having small contractions on my cock. These contractions were interfering with me getting a good rhythm established too. I finally got it buried in as deep as it could go, my hair tight up against her ass, and started moving in slow circles, my hands on her shoulders, pulling her in even tighter against my dick. From all of the sounds she was making, she liked this the best of all the things. I liked it, but it wasn't as good as it would have been if I was doing that, and cumming at the same time. The only way for me to cum was to get some friction going. "Turn over, Denise, I want to do it the regular way." "No, I like it more from behind. Do me this way." "I'll do you this way next time. I want to cum now, turn over." "Make me cum again, Larry, then I will, I promise." She had settled down from her quick first orgasm. Her pussy was now more relaxed, so I started pushing in and out again. Now, it felt better, and I could get my rhythm going just the way I liked it. I was starting to feel it, like I was almost at that point where it is all downhill from there. When you get to that point, it is like a racer seeing the finish line. Nothing can prevent you from getting there once you can actually see it. Nothing that is, except someone putting your dick in a tight vise grip right at the end of a deep downstroke. Once again, while she was busy cumming, all I could do was press it in as deep as I could, and move my ass in circles. I did that until Denise just collapsed, taking both me, and my dick, with her, as she flopped forward. This time, while she was relaxed, I pulled my dick out of her. I moved over to the other side of her, laying my head on the other pillow. My dick was still sticking straight up in the air. Denise turned on her side so that she was facing me, a big smile on her face. She noticed my dick standing up like it was. "Larry, that feels so good when you put it in me from behind. The other way, it hurts like you are mashing it against something, and bending me on my insides. That's why I like it better that way. The other way, you can't put it in so hard, or so deep, because then it hurts me" "You seemed to like it when we did it that way the first time." "I did, but it still hurt me, and the other way doesn't. Maybe if you didn't put all of it in me?" "When I'm getting ready to cum, it has to be in all the way, because that's how it feels the best. I can't help pushing it all the way, because it feels so good when I do." We are laying there, the two of us talking, and my dick is as hard as could be. It is starting to bob around in little circles, all on its own. Denise is laying there, watching it move around. She seems fascinated just watching it. Then, she sits up and lifts her leg over me so that she is sitting on my stomach, and starts kissing me. After awhile, I pull her up a little and begin licking and sucking on her breasts, particularly, on her nipples. This gets her going, and my dick is right up against her butt. We can both feel it and Denise backs down a little to get more contact with it. With her down like that, I can't reach her breasts anymore, so I start kissing on her neck. This is something she likes a lot. I got her pretty hot doing this on our first date. I feel her lift up and then I feel her hand on my stomach. At first, I think she's going to play with her own pussy. That makes me think she is being greedy. She has already cum twice, and my dick is still waiting for the first one. I feel her fingers lifting my dick up a little, and then she scoots back a little ways, and I feel my dick's head slide right into her. In a minute, she is moving by herself, forcing my dick further up inside her. A couple times, I lift up, trying to help her, but when I do this, she pulls back, away from me. "Don't move, Larry. You put it in too far. Just let me put it in as much as is comfortable." I decided that this made sense, plus it felt really good this way, and I didn't have to try to support my own weight like I did the other way. It didn't take her long before she lifted her own body up, from the waist on up, putting both of her hands on my chest. That felt even better for me. She also could move better and faster that way, which increased the friction, and also, the good feelings on my dick. Denise went into her cumming overdrive again, but this time, I was too close to let her cum without me. I grabbed her hips and started moving them up and down, and, at the same time, I started lifting my own ass up and pounding into her as hard and as deep as I could. She was going crazy on top of me, and I was equally as crazy under her. I wanted to drive my dick right through her because it felt so good and my cum was so strong. When I was younger, we had a family visit with us, all of them had just come to America from Hungary. The man was a friend of my father's. They had a son who was thirteen at that time. He spoke some English which he'd learned in school back in Hungary, and he was trying to teach me some Hungarian words. Mostly swear words, because he thought that would be funny. I was only ten years old, so that's the reason why he thought it was so funny. One of the things he taught me was Bus Ni, which he said meant Fuck Me! in English. I don't know why I still remembered it after all that time, because I had forgotten the other things he taught me except for Fus, which he said meant dick. As I exploded into my greatest possible cum, for some strange reason, that is what popped into my head. I needed to say something, to express my great feeling, so I yelled that out. "Bus Ni, Bus Ni, Bus Ni." All the time, as I'm yelling this at the top of my lungs, I'm slamming my dick in as hard as I can, and Denise is grinding down on me as hard as she can. We are both in the throes of a great cum. This was the sexual pinnacle of my life I thought. This was the ultimate. I would have gladly taken this in suspended animation forever. The bedroom door opened up suddenly, and there was my father and my Aunt Agnes standing there, watching their son and nephew pounding it to a lust crazed fifteen year old girl, and yelling Hungarian profanities into the night. Aunt Agnes yelled something to me in Hungarian, which I, of course, didn't understand. My father yelled in English, which I did understand. "Laurant, what are you doing?" Denise bounced up off of my dick, grabbing for one of the pillows to cover herself. Already, she was crying and carrying on. My father came over to the bed and lifted me up off of the bed with one hand, and pushed me through Aunt Agnes' bedroom door, all the while stooping down in order to gather my clothes together. He brought them out with him and shut the door, leaving Aunt Agnes and Denise in there alone. I looked down just in time to watch as the rubber slipped off of my now shrunken dick, and landed on the floor. My father and I both looked at it as a small stream of my cum leaked out onto the linoleum. "Get dressed, Larry. Do you have any idea of what trouble this is going to cause us? That girl is going to run home and tell her parents what happened here tonight. You'll be lucky if she doesn't claim she was raped by you. Your mother and I could lose everything. What were you thinking?" All the while he's yelling at me, I'm getting into my clothes. All I was missing was my shoes. My father hadn't brought them out with him. I turned and knocked at the bedroom door. "Aunt Agnes, could you hand me my shoes? I think I left them on your little stand by the head of your bed." For some reason, this made my father angrier, and he let me have it on the back of my head with his open hand. It wasn't that hard, but my father didn't hit me very often. This was the first I remembered in at least four or five years. My mother had spanked me more often than him. The bedroom door opened a crack, and my shoes came flying out, one at a time. I went and retrieved them and put them on. Five minutes later, Denise came out, and she headed straight for the door. I went after her, but my father put his hand out to stop me. "I'm going to make sure she gets home safe. I'll be home after." "Don't take too long, Larry. I'll see you at home. Go to your room and wait for me. Say nothing to anyone. Not even your Mama." As soon as he moved his arm out of the way, I ran after Denise. I caught up with her at the bottom of the stairs. She was still crying, and looked confused about where to go. I grabbed her hand, and started walking away from my aunt's apartment. We had walked for only a couple of minutes before I remembered that I'd left my rubber laying out in the open of my aunt's floor. I broke out in a nervous giggle. I was in so much trouble, but that was funny. I could just imagine the two of them standing there looking at it, wondering which of them should pick it up, and flush it down the toilet. It is strange what you think about while under considerable stress. "Larry, how can you laugh?" Denise was staring at me like I'd slapped her or something. I told her about the rubber, and about all the cum that had leaked out on the floor. "And you think that's funny?" "No, I don't think it's funny. What's funny is that I wondered which of them would pick it up and clean up the mess." "My parents are going to kill me, Larry. I'll be grounded for the rest of my life. I'd be better off if I got run over by a car or something." "You're going to tell your parents about this? Why would you do that?" "Because your parents will tell them anyway, and I'd be in worse trouble then. Your mother was very upset with me." "That wasn't my mother, that was my aunt. The one who isn't supposed to be back here for at least three more weeks. This is the worst luck ever. And, right when I'm having the best cum ever." "Oh God, Larry. Me too. It never felt half so good as it did this last time. I couldn't believe it. It didn't hurt at all that way either. I was so full too. We should do it that way every time." She looked stricken right after she said that, obviously remembering our present predicament. "We are in so much trouble." She started crying again. I saw it, and I reacted immediately. "Denise, did you tell my aunt your name or where you lived?" "No, she never asked me anything." "Then, I am in so much trouble. You aren't in any trouble." "What do you mean?" "They don't know who you are. To them, you're just some girl. I won't tell them who it was up there with me. They won't be able to get you in any trouble if they don't know who you are." "Won't you be in even more trouble if you don't tell them?" "It doesn't matter. I would never let you get into trouble if I could help prevent it." That got me a hug and a few wet kisses. Wet, mostly because her cheeks were filled with her tears. She stopped a few blocks from her house and took some kind of powder thing out of her pocketbook. First, she wiped her face on her coat sleeve, and then she put some of that powder on her face. She used the mirror as she brushed her hair. Within five minutes, she looked like nothing at all had happened. I walked her home and gave her a goodbye kiss on her front porch. "I'll see you in school tomorrow, Larry." "I hope you're right. My dad might kill me when I get home." I walked home, but it was a walk made longer because of my fear. My dad was already home when I got there, but I still went straight back to my bedroom. Five minutes after I got to my room, my dad knocked and then came into my bedroom. He looked at me for a few seconds, and then started shaking his head from side to side. "Where did you learn what you were yelling in Agnes' studio, Laurant? That was supposed to be in the Hungarian language, no?" "I don't remember where I heard that, papa. Maybe from you when you were mad sometime?" "Not from me, Laurant, and not from your mother or your Aunt neither. Where did you learn that phrase, huh?" "I don't know. I just remembered it right then, and I didn't want to say it in English." "For years, your mama and I tried to get you to learn to speak in Hungarian. But, this isn't what we wanted you to learn. Who was this girl?" "She was just a girl, papa, that's all. A friend from school." "How did you get in your Aunt's studio, Laurant? She is very upset, you understand? Very upset about this. This was her home, and you used it without her permission. This was not a nice thing for you to have done." "I know it wasn't. I'm sorry that Aunt Agnes had to come home and see that. And for you to see it too. I never meant for anyone else to see us. That's why I took her there, because it was so private." "What am I to do now? I had to tell your mother, because Agnes was so upset. Do you think your mother was happy to learn what you were doing tonight? How can we trust you Laurant, when all you do is get in trouble with these girls? Tonight your mother tells me that you were going to a dance with Kate's friend, Clara? Are you doing this with her too?" "No, not yet. But, we will." "You are planning this seduction too? How many more can we look forward to, Laurant? Is this some sickness you have? You cannot keep your pants on around all these young girls? Then, to make it worse, you have no shame. You admit your future conquests to your own father?" "Papa, you want me to lie to you? I could tell you lies, and promise not to do it anymore. I don't want to do that. If girls want to let me do it, I will. It feels good. Tonight, before you came in on us, we were doing really good, the best. I'm not going to stop doing that if I can. You can send me to Hungary, it won't matter. Maybe you never did this when you were young like me, but I really like it." "I never said I didn't do that. You think I don't remember being your age? I know exactly how good it feels. I also know the trouble it can cause. You think that girl's father is going to be happy about tonight? He will want to shoot you, or beat you to death with his own hands. What am I going to say to him if he feels that way? Don't do it, my son is only fourteen years old? This is a dangerous thing you are doing. Dangerous for all of us. Tell me you are going to stop this, Laurant. Tell me that tonight was the end of it." "I can't do that. Not if I don't want to lie to you. Sooner or later I was going to start. Now that I have, I'm not planning on stopping until I can't do it anymore, when I'm old like Neg Papa." "Don't kid yourself, Laurant, he still does it too. Not as often as he'd like, but still, he does it. So, what now? If I told you you must come home from school and not go out at all, would this stop your terrible and dangerous behavior?" "No. I'm going to do it. There isn't anything you can do to make me quit." "You are a lucky boy, Laurant, very lucky. Do you know why?" "No." "Because I had a conversation much like this one, with my own papa, when I was your age. I lied to him, promising to be good and to never bother the girls again. He never found out that I lied to him. Still, I always knew. Everytime I did these things with a girl, I knew it was another lie to my papa, and so I felt bad. I didn't stop doing it, but I still felt bad. Because of this, and because a boy shouldn't have to lie to his papa, I will not force you to do that. I am going to force you to do something else though. Every day, after you finish school, you will report to your mother and Agnes at the dance class. They will give you an hour of work to do every day. On Saturday, you will help me around the house for three hours. On Sunday, you go help your aunt for three hours, after church. We will make you so tired, you won't have enough energy to get into any more of that kind of trouble. You will obey me in this punishment?" "Sure papa. I know I did wrong." "Good. Go see your mother now. She wants to speak to you also." I went out and found my mother in the kitchen. She went to the oven where she had a plate of food that she had kept warm for me. She put it in front of my normal place at the table. It was noodles and cabbage, one of my favorites. She came around and hugged me from behind, then asked me to give the blessing for the meal. After, as soon as I had just started chewing my first mouthful, my mother spoke to me for the first time since I had sat down. "Your papa says your Hungarian is very clear and understandable. He said he knew what you were saying from fifty feet away." I started choking on the cabbage and noodles until my mother whacked me on my back. "He says also that you take after his side of the family with your equipment. If this is true, why wasn't it the girl doing all the yelling?" Parents sure can surprise you. My mother had spent the past few weeks constantly under assault, with some of the most basic tenets of her faith called into question. Still, with her generous and loving nature, she stood in her kitchen trying to make jokes in order to make sure that her son didn't dwell too much on how he had been letting his family down. I appreciated it too. She could have taken an entirely different attitude towards everything. ------- Chapter 30 Friday morning I finally remembered and got around to asking my mother whether I was going to be allowed to go to the dance that night with Clara. "Why not? We can't punish Clara because of your misbehaving. Besides, I'm hoping that your dancing will bring me more students. There is also the money I spent for the tickets. Don't forget to come straight to the studio after school." My mother said this, but she was smiling, letting me know that everything was all right again now. My father had decreed the punishment, and I had accepted it. That was going to be the sum total of my punishment. In school later, Denise came over to me in our homeroom, a few minutes before the final bell rang, and asked me if everything went all right with me at home or not. "They don't know your name, or who you are. They aren't going to try to get it anymore either." "Thank you, Larry. I don't know what I would have done if my parents had found out about it. Did you get in a lot of trouble?" "Just some extra chores, and a big lecture from my dad. I have to work for my mom at the dance studio for an hour every schoolday after school, and work around the house for three hours every Saturday. I also have to go apologize to my aunt, and then work for her three hours every Sunday for awhile." "That's all? My parents would have done a lot worse to me, and I mean a lot worse. I guess this means no more of our secret dates?" "I don't know if that has to be true. If you still want to do it some more, we can at least try to find some way." "I do. I was already thinking about maybe doing it late at night, in my parents car, after they are sleeping?" "Too dangerous, and too cold. We sure wouldn't want to get caught by your parents doing it. We need a place like we had before, over at my aunt's. Someplace where nobody will be able to ever catch us. I'll keep on looking until I find one. You have to look around too. I can't wait to do it some more." Denise smiled first, but then, she blushed as well. "Me too. Even when it happened last night, when we got caught? Even then, I wanted to do it some more." She whispered this last little bit, first, looking around to make sure no one was listening to us talking. I was flirting with Karen in second period. This was the only class we had together where Denise wasn't right there with us. Mostly, at first, it was only with the bold looks I gave her. I was trying to get her to keep looking over at me. Once she started doing that, and I knew she was having fun with it too, when I knew no one else could see me, I reached over and put a hand on her bare thigh, right below her hemline. She was wearing a tight skirt, and it had ridden up until half her thigh was exposed. I only left it there for a second, before pulling it back. "I miss you, Karen." I said it really quietly, so only she could hear me. "I shouldn't have told your parents that I'd stay away from you. Do you ever think about me?" She sat there, acting like nothing had happened, but she had a tiny smile on her face, and her neck was a little pink. I knew she had heard me. For the rest of that period, we played the little peek-a-boo game. I'd look at her, until she caught me looking, and then I would look down at my desk. Whenever I looked up again, she'd be looking at me. Then, she would turn away when I caught her looking too. We were both having a good time with it, I think. We sure weren't learning anything about History, I know that much. At lunchtime, I hurried into the cafeteria. I managed to get my lunch really fast, because I was only the fourth or fifth person to come through the line. I found a table over in the corner where Karen would be sure to see me when she was getting her own lunch. I hoped that she would decide to come sit with me. I was watching her when she came in and got in line. She looked around, and I could see she had seen me. I smiled at her. She got her food and paid the cashier. At first, she started heading away from my corner, but then, she hesitated for a few seconds, before turning around and heading over in my direction. I tried to make sure my face looked real happy to see her, and that I was as encouraging for her to sit with me as I could possibly be. "Hi, Larry. Is it okay if I sit here with you?" "Better than okay. I hurried here because I was trying to make sure you could see me. I'm glad you decided to come sit with me." "Well, you're about the only person who seems to want to talk with me. Especially after what you did to Mandy." "I'm sorry about that, but I did think you should know how two-faced she is." "I've only gone to school with her since about the second grade, Larry. You didn't think I already knew about her?" "I guess. Still, just in case, I thought I'd warn you." "What have you been up to since the night at your house with my parents? Wasn't that just the worst?" "No, it wasn't quite the worst, but it was close. I've been mostly going to school, and missing you. I haven't even been to a movie for the past month. I see Denise once in awhile, but not for regular dates like before." "She's so mad at me, and I can't blame her. I feel bad about what I did, but I didn't really mean for it to happen." "That's why it is better not to talk about those kinds of things. That's also why I'm not going to tell you all the times I've been thinking about you, or what I've been thinking. It would make what you said in here about Denise before seem tame in comparison." Karen looked all around us. The table I'd chosen was in an area that wasn't very popular. There was no one sitting within twenty feet of us, and we had been speaking pretty quietly. "I doubt that you've been thinking about me at all. You probably have four or five other girls that you like better than me." "That isn't true. I don't know any girls that have anything close to your build. Sometimes, at night, I think about how your butt looked when it was naked, and my dick get so hard it hurts me. I think about how I wish we had done it from behind so I could have looked at it while I did it to you. I get so excited thinking about it, that I have to play with myself, or I couldn't get to sleep." "Really? I think it's way too big, almost like an elephant's." "It's perfect, Karen, and I really mean it. I better quit thinking and talking about it, because now I went and made my dick all hard again." "I wish we hadn't got caught, Larry. I think about you too, and about what we did. I must have walked by that little wrapping you left on my floor at least fifty times, but I never once noticed it." "Are you on any restriction? Other than not being allowed to see me?" "I was, but it's over now. I can't date anyone unless my parents first meet him and approve. They watch me all the time too. I don't know what they think. Maybe, that I'm going to sneak someone into my bedroom or something. My mother is the worst. She goes through all my things, even my notebooks and book covers, looking for any evidence that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. They used to just trust me." "They love you. My parents are being pretty good, considering everything. I'd sure like to meet you somewhere though. I miss just talking with you, and kissing you. I miss the other stuff too, but I've already accepted that we can't do that anymore." "I'm glad you do miss me. If you didn't, then I'd feel bad, because of how much I miss you. I thought that after I got my period, my parents would relax a little, but they didn't. They keep making out that it was such a big deal. I think it's my choice to make about personal things like that. What are they going to do next, give me some rules about kissing and making out? Now that I've already admitted doing it, what are they afraid of? It isn't like I can ever go back to being a virgin. They should leave me alone now." "I feel that way a little bit too. I'm old enough to decide for myself. It would be different if we were still little kids, but if we were, we wouldn't want to do it. I never did until just recently." "Really? How recently?" "I don't know. Probably since my birthday." "This birthday? Your fourteenth?" "Yeah. I guess I was slow to start thinking about those things." "I'll say. About three years slow. Girls start talking about boys, and all of that kind of thing, at about ten or eleven. We have pretend weddings, and play housewife and mother from about the time when we're five or six. By ten or so, we stop playing with our dolls, and start thinking, talking, and pretending about real boys, and even babies. When did you first start getting hot?" "From thinking about girls, probably the first time was around my birthday, a little before maybe. Before that, I'd get these boners every morning, and it felt good sometimes to rub it. That started sometime after I got to be thirteen, when my dick started to get bigger, and I got hair down there." "So, all of this is still new to you? No wonder you have been so excited, and trying to do so much. Denise said you were probably a sex fiend." "I don't think so. A lot of guys I knew started being interested before I was. Tommy Lampkin has been interested in girls since we were in the sixth grade. Even Bill has been saying stuff from when he was around twelve. I don't know why it wasn't interesting to me before though. It sure is now." "That might be because a lot of girls were interested in Tommy before the sixth grade even. He has those dreamy eyes, and those long lashes. He used to be pretty until he started shaving, and getting all hairy on his arms and neck. I had a crush on him in the fifth grade, but he was such a jerk in so many other ways. He used to grab at my breasts right in class sometimes, before I hardly even had any. He did that to all the girls that were starting to develop. He even got in trouble for it and was sent to the office a few times. He's such a creep." "I wouldn't mind grabbing them right now, but you would probably object." She laughed. "That wouldn't be good. It would just remind everyone about us. I sure wish I'd listened to you about that. Now, I'm just Karen, the big, easy slut. The worst thing is, I'm the only one to be blamed for starting it all. I'm the one who told everyone about what we did." She started crying when she said that. "You weren't ever that to me, Karen. You shouldn't think of yourself like that either. It doesn't matter what these other people think about it. We both know, for us, it was special and wonderful. If they want to think it was bad or dirty, let them. Don't you make it like that, because it wasn't." People were looking over at us now. Mostly because Karen was crying. We hadn't really attracted that much notice until then. I reached a hand out and put it on top of Karen's. Her skin was so soft and warm. She had to have the best circulation in the world. Anywhere I'd ever touched her, her body felt warm. The first time, when I put it in her, without the rubber, her pussy was just burning up. "You have the warmest skin." "What?" She looked up at me, too surprised at what I had said. "Your skin, it's is always so warm to the touch, all over. A lot warmer than mine, or anyone else I know." "I know that, I guess. I mean I've heard it from my parents. My normal body temperature is 99.8. That's unusual, to be that high. My doctor said it isn't anything to be concerned about though. He says that's just my normal body temperature. Do you like it, that it's warmer?" "Sure. I'm not sure why." I leaned in, putting my head halfway across the table, and whispered to her. "Your pussy is hotter than anyone else's too." She blushed crimson, but I felt her put her other hand on top of the hand that was holding hers. She whispered back to me. "It's pretty hot right now. I can feel it. I'm wishing we were alone, so you could cool it back down." "With my tongue?" "First your tongue, then, with your thing." "My dick?" "Yes, your dick. I would like to have your dick in me some more, a lot more. All the time." I was going to say a lot more to her, but the first bell rang. We both stood up at the same time. I let her hand go and she took both of hers back. She looked down at my crotch and giggled. I looked down, and besides the obvious bulge of my hard on, there was a big wet spot where my dick had been seeping pre cum. It was about a three inch circle, and would be so obvious if anyone saw it. I quickly sat back down again. Karen left as soon as I sat back down. I didn't know if it had grossed her out or what. There was about an ounce of milk left in my carton. First, I reached under the table to move my dick over to the other side, and bent it so it wouldn't be so obvious. After that was done, I carefully poured the milk on my jeans, right where the wet spot was. I stood up and started shouting as I tried to wipe the spilled milk all over my pants. Several of the kids still in the cafeteria started clapping at my stupidity, and a few others yelled out insults. I was glad to provide this kind of humor for them. If I had just walked around the other way, it would have been a whole lot worse. I went over to the serving line and got a wet cloth from one of the cafeteria staff, and wiped all of the milk off my jeans. After I got finished wiping, the wet spot was a lot bigger, but at least it didn't look like I'd cum in my pants. More like I'd peed them. After school, I went over to the dance studio. Instead of making me do some work, my mother sent me up to Aunt Agnes' apartment so that I could apologize to her. I went around back and climbed up the stairs. Aunt Agnes answered as soon as I knocked. "Larry, come in. I've been expecting you. Your mama told me that she was going to send you up here to see me. She said that you would apologize to me too." "I'm sorry Aunt Agnes. I didn't mean for you to see us like that. I didn't think you'd be coming back so soon. I'm sorry for using your bed that way." "You know why I came back so early, Larry? It was because of your grandfather. In his letters, he forgives me, and tells me to come visit him. In person, he is the same as when he kicked me out of my home the first time. He never really forgave me like he wrote. And for what? What did I do that was any of his business? Nothing! That's what, nothing! Was I some little girl that he could order not to do those things? No! I was twenty eight years old. I didn't want to grow old, and to never know the love of a man. Was that so terrible? I don't care now what he thinks of me. To me he is already dead." She started crying somewhere in this recounting of her visit to my grandfather. Agnes was the youngest of the four children my grandparents had. My mother was the oldest, and there were two brothers in the middle. The brothers had both emigrated, one to to South Africa and the other to Canada, right after the uprising in 1956. Agnes had stayed at home, trying to take care of her sick mother, as well as their house, with both her parents living there. After my grandmother died, Agnes stayed there, doing all of the cooking and cleaning for my grandfather. She also began a love affair with the married organist at the church she and my family all attended. My grandfather came home early one night from a visit with some of his friends. He wasn't supposed to be back until much later. He caught Agnes and the church organist when he had his organ buried in Aunt Agnes over on the sofa in the living room. My grandfather made such a hue and cry in front of the neighbors, that the scandal of everything, forced the organist, with his wife and family, to move to a different town. Agnes, he kicked out of his home, never once giving any thought to what she would do, or where she would be able to go. Agnes, with too few choices in Hungary, chose to slip across the border to Austria, living in a refugee camp, and applying for asylum, along with the many thousands of other refugees from Hungary. My parents were contacted by the American Red Cross, and they sponsored Agnes to come to the U.S. She and my mother started the dance studio soon after, primarily so that Agnes would have something to do. Agnes, like my mother, had taken extensive training in dance while living in Hungary as a child. Agnes had even performed professionally for awhile in several different dance companies. She taught the more advanced students, while my mother ran all of the business part of it and taught the beginners and early intermediate classes. Agnes was thirty one, twelve years younger than my mother. So, instead of continuing to apologize to my aunt, I comforted her. I held her in a tight hug, an innocent hug, and allowed her to give herself over to her emotions. Her despair, at traveling all that way, and then failing to reconcile with her father, was deep. She, of all of the four children, had been closest to that stern, emotionally cold, and deeply religious man. I had never met him, but from stories I had heard from my Uncle Frank, who lived in Canada, Aunt Agnes, and from my mother and my father, the picture I got of him wasn't of anyone I even wanted to meet, let alone to have for a relative. My mother was pretty religious, but she didn't let it totally rule her life like her father apparently did. In a few moments, my aunt regained control of her emotions, and stepped away from my embrace. "So, Larry, for you there is no waiting to find love? You are probably wiser than I was. I spent too much time with my dancing to have any time for romance. When my mama got sick, instead of making my own life, I helped her to ease the ending of her own. It was my time to have a life, to make up for all of those years when I practiced ten or twelve hours a day, ruining my body in pursuit of a career that I was never destined to have." "You had a career. Look at all the time you spent appearing in productions." "No, Larry. At best, only an understudy, someone to dance in the chorus, only as a small part of the setting of the mood, or to give a rest period for the real performers. That was no career. What I'm doing now is much more rewarding to me. We are here though to speak of you, not me. It was unexpected to find you in my bed. I overreacted in front of your father. When I thought about it later, I had acted as bad as my own father had done with me. I told your father that what you had done was something that had troubled me deeply. I'm afraid I made him more upset with you than he should have been. After, I realized that it wasn't true. It surprised me, but I'm not upset at all with you. So, how can I punish you for doing something that I don't disapprove of?" "That's all right. I really do deserve to be punished for stealing your apartment key, and for using your apartment twice." "Twice? The same girl I hope?" "Yes, the same one both times. Although, I did get caught doing it with another girl too. But that was at her house." "Larry, how many girlfriends do you have?" "I guess three right now. The girl I really like the best, she and I didn't even do it yet. Kate's friend, Clara?" "I know Clara. She has a fine body for dancing. Very graceful, and she works hard as well. She is another of your girls, Larry?" "I love her. The other two, I really only like, one a whole lot, but it is only Clara that I love." "The one you really like, this is the girl in my apartment last night?" "No. I like her, and we do it more than the other girl and I do, but I like the girl I got caught with at her house better. Her parents made me promise not to see her though." "Where do you find the time, or the energy, Larry? Not to mention the opportunity. I'm getting tired just from hearing about all of these girls." "Now that you're back, and with me getting caught again, I don't know how I'm going to work it. It's too cold to do anything outdoors. Kate is always home in the afternoons." "Larry, one thing I know is that, if it is important to you, a way will be found. Be careful that it doesn't wind up getting you or these girls into more trouble. I noticed that you use a prophylactic, so that at least shows you are doing some thinking with your brain." "I'm sorry about leaving it there, Aunt Agnes, I had hoped my father cleaned it up before you had to see it." Agnes laughed. "No, I'm afraid he left it right where it was. Men have such an aversion to touching something from another man. I cleaned it up, Larry. You should be sure, in the future, to change to a new one each time." "I do, we only did it one time." "Oh my! Just one time, and so much?" "I know, I really make big messes. I wish I didn't." "Larry, be careful of what you wish for. Someday, you will look back and remember how big a mess you used to make, and then, you'll wish that you still could. It is a sign of potency to be able to make a big mess. In that, the messier the better. Women will tell you that. Also, your mama and I were talking about what I saw, and what your papa told her. I lived for many years with your Uncle Frank and Uncle Tibor, and I saw them changing their clothes many times. From what your papa described to your mother, as well as what I saw, it looks like you take after our side of the family, more than your papa's side. Never tell him what I said though. Let him have his own illusions." "I wouldn't talk about that with him, don't worry." "There is one more thing, Larry. I spoke of this with your mama. In fact, it was your mama who suggested it. She doesn't want you getting into any more trouble. From now on, every Sunday, after church, I will be going out for a nice lunch, and to visit with a special friend of mine. I will be gone from one to five, at the very least. Here is your own key to my apartment. I always put new linens on my bed on Sunday night. If they get dirtier on Sunday afternoons, it is not any extra work for me. Do you understand what I am telling you, Larry?" "I think so. You're saying that I can use the apartment on Sunday afternoons, and that you and my mom won't care?" "That is right. You must not make any mention of this with your papa, Larry. Better, also that you say nothing to your mama. This will be something that will be an understanding with just you and I. I will speak to your mama, only to tell her that we have reached a satisfactory arrangement. Remember, you must be gone by five, and you must not brag of this to Kate, or to any of your friends, any that you aren't bringing here. If possible, don't tell your girlfriends that we gave you our permission." "Thank you, Aunt Agnes. I don't know what else to say. I will try not to disappoint you, or to damage things in any way." "You are lucky, Larry. It isn't every boy who is given your freedom at such a young age. Keep wearing prophylactics and justify our faith in you." ------- Chapter 31 I got a ride home with my mother after I got done talking with my Aunt Agnes. I was real excited about having a place where I could bring Karen, Denise and Clara for an afternoon of privacy. I wasn't sure whether I should thank my mom or not. Agnes had said that it was my mom that had come up with the idea for allowing me to use her apartment on Sunday afternoons. I was also very curious what Agnes had meant about her 'special friend'. I didn't know that Agnes had a boyfriend. I hadn't ever seen her with any man before. "Mama, Aunt Agnes has a boyfriend?" "I don't think so, Larry. What makes you ask that?" "Something she said about visiting her special friend on Sundays. Maybe she didn't mean boyfriend, just a friend." "Agnes has several friends. I'm sure that all of them are special to her. If she had a boyfriend, I'm pretty sure that I would know about it. On Sundays, she usually visits Mrs. Kramer, the lady that makes a lot of the costumes for the dancers at our recitals. You know Mrs. Kramer." I did know her. She had been a teacher at my elementary school, but had quit in order to marry Mr. Kramer. They had gotten a divorce after a couple of years of being married, and now she sometimes worked as a substitute teacher at the high school, the junior high, and the two elementary schools. She had never been my teacher, but she seemed like a nice lady. She was very pretty too. When I got home, Kate was still very excited about the dance, and she kept urging me to hurry up and get cleaned up and ready. This was even before supper, but she was hurrying me so that I'd be ready soon enough so she could go with my mom and I to pick up Clara. Finally, just so I could get her to stop pleading with me, and get out of my hair, I did go in and take my shower. After my shower, I looked in the mirror and decided that I needed to shave. I had some peach fuzz, on my cheeks and my upper lip that I shaved off about once every couple of months. I went into my parent's bathroom and used my dad's razor. The whole process of shaving took me about fifteen seconds. When I was finished, I went to my room and started getting dressed. I was actually looking forward to the dance, now that I was going with Clara instead of Harriet. The one thing I was pretty sure of was that Clara and I wouldn't have any problems dancing together. I wasn't expecting the pair of us to do anything fancy, like a Tango or the Rumba, but we had both worked on several routines for jitterbugging, which we had performed together at the Spring dance recital. Because Clara was so light, there were three or four different throws that we had been able to do together. It was probably just a case of me wanting to show off that made me even think about doing them. I was still worried about getting hazed by the upperclassmen at the dance. If Clara and I put on a little dancing show, maybe they wouldn't bother us about being too young to be there. I had my suit pants on and my clean dress shirt when I sat down for dinner, so my mother went and got two towels, one for my lap and the other she pinned around my neck to catch any food that fell down my front. I wasn't that sloppy of an eater, but my mother always gets nervous before any performance. To her, me going to a dance, constituted a performance. I did spill a forkful of my goulash down the front, so I guess, this time, her worries were founded. After dinner, the three of us left our house and drove over to Clara's house, arriving there at exactly seven o'clock. Kate was the first one out of the car. Probably before my mother had even shut the engine off, Kate was ringing the door bell. I don't know why she was so anxious to see Clara dressed for the dance. We had both seen Clara in that same gown at our last recital. I got out of the car, but I waited for my mother so that we could walk to the front door together. Mrs. Townsend was standing in the open doorway, waiting for us to get there. Kate was already in the house and probably in Clara's bedroom, looking to make sure that everything about her dress, hair and make up, was perfect. I had been standing around in the living room, with my mother picking imaginary lint off of my suit jacket every few seconds. I held my overcoat in my arms. I was trying to answer Mrs. Townsend's questions about getting pictures of Clara and I at the dance. A photographer would be at the dance, and he would be taking pictures of every couple there. There would be some kind of scene sat up as a background for the picture. Since this was the winter dance, the scene would probably have a winter theme, like snow and ice or something. Each couple got one free picture, but you could order more if you were willing to pay the photographer extra. Mrs Townsend wanted to be sure to get some pictures of Clara's first big dance date. I told her I'd make sure to get all of the information for her to contact the photographer. When we finished that, Kate came out of Clara's room and came over to stand by my mother. A minute later, Clara came out. The dress was the same one she had worn in the Spring, but that was all that was the same. Clara had her hair done in a whole new style, with bangs in the front and cut so that it was shorter than before. With this new style, none of her face was covered by her hair. Her eyes seemed bigger and I noticed that her eyebrows had been shaped differently, and they seemed a lot darker than they had been before. She had lipstick on too. She looked very beautiful The biggest change was that Clara now had breasts. She hadn't had them last Spring when she wore this same gown, but now she did. They were only about walnut sized, but she wasn't flat chested anymore. I had seen her nipples only a few days before, when I had eaten that carrot of Kate's, but I hadn't really noticed this much in the way of chest development. The first thing I thought of was that Clara was wearing 'falsies'. The second thing I thought, was if she wanted to wear 'falsies', why didn't she get some bigger ones? I'm sure there was a third thing, but I lost track of whatever it would have been because I noticed that there were also two prominent nipples poking out of her gown material. Those weren't 'falsies'. Clara had grown some magical titties, practically overnight. I don't know how she managed it, but it was like they just popped out of nowhere. I had felt a little something under her nipples when I was feeling them before, but not anything near as big as these were. It wasn't just her breasts though. It was all of the rest of it. Clara seemed more substantial now, less the skinny kid, more a woman. I don't know whether it was the gown or what, but her hips seemed to have widened, and even her arms seemed to have added a little flesh to them. I don't know how I could have missed all of these changes, but I had. She must have liked what she saw on my face, because she gave me the most dazzling smile. It was almost like a triumphant look as she smiled at me. She seemed satisfied that her entrance had produced just the right reaction in me. I looked over at Clara's mother, and saw that her eyes were tearing over. When I turned to look at Kate, I noticed that she and my mother both were smiling, and that both of them had wet eyes as well. Why? I mean, I thought it was neat the way Clara had transformed herself too, but I wasn't crying about it. "You really look great Clara, I like your new hair cut. You look older, and healthier too." I didn't think I should comment on how much her titties had suddenly grown. Not in front of everyone else. I'd wait until we were alone, or until no one could hear us at least. "Do you notice any difference in my chest?" She stuck her chest out at me, proudly. I could tell that all of the rest of them were in on the big joke, or whatever it was. I guessed then that it was some trick that Clara was playing on me. Some trick that made it look like she had titties when she really didn't. Those bumps that were poking against her gown sure did look like her nipples though. If it was a trick, it was a good one. "You've grown some titties." I figured that I might as well play along so she could spring the punchline on me and they could all laugh at my expense, then we could go on to the dance. Kate pushed me from behind, and my mother whacked me on the back of my head. "What? She asked me!" "You don't speak to a young lady that way, Laurant, apologize at once." "I'm sorry, Clara. Yes I do notice something, but I can't quite put my finger on it yet." That earned me another whack from my mother, but laughs from Clara, Kate and Mrs. Townsend. "Whatever it is, it looks really great on you, and I'm sure glad that you're going with me tonight. You'll be the prettiest girl there." At least, that stopped my mother from bouncing another hand off of my coconut. Even though it meant we'd be arriving early, Kate and Clara wanted us to leave for the dance right away. The doors were supposed to open at seven thirty, but the music wouldn't start until eight o'clock. I didn't want us to be the first ones there. I was out voted though, four to one. I sat in the backseat with Clara, Kate sat up in front, but she was kneeling on her seat so that she could be facing back to talk with Clara on the whole ride to the school. We got to the school at twenty after seven. My mother told me to get out first, and then help Clara get out, so that she didn't mess up her gown. I helped her out. She had on a fairly heavy winter coat over her gown, and I had my father's black dress overcoat on. I don't know what it was lined with, but it was a very warm coat, and heavier than it looked. The school doors were already opened, so, at least, we wouldn't have to wait out in the wind and the cold. We went in through the front door of the school, then turned right and followed the hall all the way back to the gym, which was where the dance was being held. We waved to Kate and my mom, then hurried up the stairs to get inside before we froze. Once inside, the very first person I saw was Harriet Simonson. Talk about your bad luck. She was sitting at the ticket table that had been set up in case there were any people that had decided to come to the dance at the last minute. Clara and I walked past the ticket table, making our way over to the teacher's lounge in order to check our coats. I noticed right after we walked by the table that the other two girls with Harriet, started whispering to Harriet and to each other. I was glad that Clara didn't seem to know who Harriet was. After we checked our coats, we went to the Gym doors and I gave the girl our tickets, and we were admitted inside. There was only one other couple there when we came in, a big dark haired guy that I didn't recognize, and Lillian Grant, a sophomore that I kind of knew from when we were both in junior high together. I was sure that the guy didn't go to our high school. In fact he looked too old to go to any high school. They were over at where the photographer had set up, having their pictures taken. "Let's get ours taken now too. This way we won't be all mussed up or sweaty, like we would be if we wait and get it done later." Clara agreed with my good suggestion, so that is what we did. I told the photographer that both of our mothers wanted to buy more pictures of us, and that my mother wanted me to get his business card so she could call him to find out if he might be available to do this at some of her dance recitals. The man took several different poses of Clara and I, then handed me his business card. I asked him to take a picture just of Clara, which he did. I planned on buying it, then having it framed, to give to Kate. He took our names, addresses and phone numbers too, telling us that he'd call when out proofs were ready to look at. After the pictures, I showed Clara around our gym. It had been decorated nicely, with a lot of blue and gold, our school colors, and a bunch of hanging snow flake mobiles that were attached to strings suspended from the ceiling. The walls were decorated with big, fluffy lengths of cotton bunting, that I guess was supposed to look like snow. "So tell me, Clarabelle, did your good fairy come by to wave her magic wand over your chest tonight? Do we have to get you back home before midnight?" Her eyes were sparkling as she listened to me asking her about her newly found riches. She shook her head, indicating a no as her answer to me. "Did Kate suck them so hard that they got swollen?" She giggled, but shook her head for another no answer. "Tell me then." "They've been sore for two weeks now, and when I asked my mother about it, she told me that she had the same thing happen when hers first came. It happened yesterday morning. I woke up and it had already started. This morning, when I woke up, they had grown some more. My mother says it takes three or four days, and then they stop for awhile. After that, they grow a lot slower, until they are full grown. She says that takes about two years. I'm just so glad it started before the dance." "Well, they look very nice. A promising beginning I'd call them. Are they still sore?" "Yes, really sore. You can't touch them. It hurts even when I put the shower spray on them. Kate and I checked them right before I came out to the living room. She says mine are as big as hers now. I bet I pass her by tomorrow." "Can I have first dibs on sucking them?" Clara reddened on her cheeks and neck. She didn't look at me but she shook her head, no. "Kate already called it?" This time she looked at me and nodded up and down. "I better hurry up and screw you before Kate grows herself a dick and beats me to that too." "Even if she had one, Larry, I'd want it to be you first. Unless Kate just had a little one that I could sort of practice on before trying yours. Do you count all the things that Kate and I do because they were done before you and I do them? I don't. I think of my first kiss as being with you, even though it really wasn't. You were the first boy I let really give me a kiss, or touch me anywhere. I don't count the girls, because it isn't anything like it is with you." "What makes it different?" "With Kate, it's just the two of us playing. With you, it isn't playing. It's hard to explain, but it means something different to me when it's with you. That time we almost did it? All you would have had to do was tell me that you loved me first. When you told me that later in the hospital, I wished we were in your bedroom instead. I would have done anything you wanted me to if we were." "You should have told me, I'd have said it. You would have been my first." "Would you have been telling me the truth, or just saying it so I'd let you?" "I don't know. Maybe a little truth and a little saying it so you'd let me. But now it would be the whole truth. I do love you now." "Now, I'd let you. Before, I was going to let you just because I loved you. But, for some reason, it didn't seem right for me to do it then. Now, it does though." We were talking, and the room was getting filled up with other couples. There were already at least one hundred couples in the gym. There were also a lot of teachers there, and other adults I didn't recognize. Some of the men were the teachers husbands or boyfriends I guessed, because they were all staying together in pairs. The band came in and was setting up. It was five black men. They had a little sign they put up on the raised platform where they were going to play from. It said: THE STARLIGHTS. I guess that was the band's name. At about eight, the lights were cut way back, and the band began playing. The first song, The Great Pretender, featured a vocal by one of them that sounded almost as good as when The Platters sang it. Clara and I danced to it, as did another ten or fifteen couples, but most of the people were milling around in little groups, talking back and forth to each other. There was a big question about who was making more noise, the band, or all the kids talking. The band's next song, Rock Around the Clock, settled that question immediately. This wasn't the Bill Haley and the Comets version. This one was bluesier, and also, instead of the saxophone, piano and trumpet were the main instrumentals. It was loud, it was fast, and it made all of the talkers shut up and listen to the band. This time, the vocals were sung by a different guy. Rock Around the Clock was a great dancing song, and one that Clara and I were both familiar with. The piano was driving the beat, but the trumpet was handling all the punctuation of the song. In that one song, Clara and I used up all the spins, turns, throws and drops that we'd practiced for our two jitterbug numbers at the recital. We were a little bit rusty with some of it, but it was a lot more relaxing for us when we were just one couple out there amongst a hundred other people. We weren't dancing for judges, it was dancing just for the fun of it. I was glad they had played a fast song so early, because it kind of set the mood and tone with all of the attendees for the rest of the night. It wasn't going to be a series of conversations with music in the background, it was going to be a real dance. We danced right up until the band went on their first break, probably about an hour. Clara and I were both sweating, but we were having a real good time too. They turned up the lights and one of the teachers announced free punch, or bottles of soda that you could buy. Clara and I went over to get in the line for buying the soda. She wanted an orange soda, and I wanted a Coke. While we were in line, this girl I didn't know asked Clara about some of the dancing she had been doing. Clara told her about the classes at my mom's studio, and told her that there was a whole class just on jitterbugging, but you had to sign up with your own partner. Clara told her it was a fun class, and that it was easy to learn all the moves. Over the course of the remainder of the dance, we had several people come up and ask us to show them different turns and some of the more complicated crossed arm jump/throws we were doing. Clara and I had this one thing we did where we both moved forward, with me constantly turning her over to one side of me and then spinning her back to the other side. It was similar to an open and close move, with me changing sides whenever she was unwinding, and then rewinding her back with the same hand I'd used for the unwind. It looked harder than it was, and the girl did most of the work herself. It looked like I was doing the pushing and pulling, but I wasn't. Clara danced with one boy later on, and showed him how easy it really was. His partner asked me to show her, but I told her she had to watch Clara, because she was the one who really was doing everything. All I did was change sides and keep out of her way as she spun. The dance was over at eleven. Clara and I were both tired. I think I had rested for one song during the whole dance, and that was when Clara was showing that open and close move to that guy. Clara didn't miss any dances. We were standing in line, waiting to get our coats, when, for the first time, someone decided to give us a hard time about our being at the dance. This guy behind us said something about how Clara must have taken a long nap to be allowed to stay up so late. I turned around to tell him to knock it off, but one of the teachers was already there, and pulled the guy out of line in order to talk with him. His date smiled at us apologetically and told us we were lucky that we only had to listen to him for five seconds. She told us that she had had to put up with him for the entire evening. She told Clara that she wished she could dance as well as she did. I was glad that she went out of her way to be nice to Clara, otherwise the guys comment might have bothered her more than it did. When we got our coats, we started walking out the door, and passed by the guy who had made the nap comment. He was surrounded now, by the principal, and two other teachers, and didn't look too happy with whatever they were saying to him. We didn't have to wait for my mom, because she was parked right out in front when we came out. I helped Clara into the back seat, and then got in after her. When we got to Clara's house, I helped her to get back out of the car, and walked her up to her front door. It was embarrassing kissing her in front of my mother, but I wasn't going to not kiss her just because of that. I didn't let myself get too carried away with the kiss though. I said goodnight to Clara and ran back to my mom's car. My mother asked me several questions about the dance. The first thing I told her was that Clara kept telling people about where she learned how to dance. This pleased my mother a great deal. She was always looking for more new students. I told my mother that there were no problems at the dance, and that Clara and I had both had a great time. I even remembered to give her the photographer's business card. "Your sister was so disappointed that I didn't let her stay up to come with me to pick you two up. You would think it was her date the way she was so excited about everything. For me, it is a worry, seeing how quickly you both are growing. I am reminded everyday that you will both be leaving home soon, going to start living your own adult lives. For a mother it isn't as easy as it is for a father." "I don't know about Kate, but I see no reason for me to leave until I get married. Where am I going to get a better deal than I already have?" "There will be college, and you will also be wanting your own private place to bring your lady friends." "Not me. I'm not going to college. As to the other, I'll just get a bigger bed in my room. I'll turn up the radio when I'm entertaining." "How can you say such a thing to your mother? You will go to college, and you won't be bringing women home with you for anything like that. You must set an example for your sister." "Like she's setting an example for me? I just wish I had as much going on in my room as she does in hers." "You do not speak of this, Laurant. I thought we were clear about that. Kate studies in her room with Clara. Anything else is only a concern for your papa and I. It is none of your concern." "I know Anyu. I was only making a bad joke. I'm sorry." "Good. Now go to bed. Tomorrow you will spend the morning helping your papa with his clean up in the basement." I went to my room, and changed out of my suit, getting myself ready for bed. I should have been thinking about Clara, and the nice evening we had just shared together. If not that, then thinking about my family, and being grateful for all they were doing for me. Instead, I was thinking about Sunday afternoon, and wondering how I could get a message to Karen, in order to get her to meet me someplace near Agnes' apartment on Sunday. I loved Clara, there was no doubt in my mind about that. In spite of that love, I couldn't seem to keep my focus on her, not unless she was right there in front of me. Who did I know that I could trust to call Karen? It couldn't be Kate, that would be like having Clara do it for me. I didn't dare ask my father, mother or my aunt. The only one I could think of to ask was Denise, and that didn't seem like a good choice either. That was when I remembered Eileen. Somehow, I just knew that she would be perfect for doing it. She would enjoy doing something like that. I told myself I'd find her phone number in the morning, and give her a call. The next morning, my father really worked me hard. We started at nine, after I'd gotten some cereal for breakfast, and we worked until eleven without a single break. At eleven he needed to use the bathroom, so he allowed me to go get him a glass of water, and myself a cold glass of milk. When I got back, we started moving everything he'd decided he could part with, up the stairs and out in the side yard. Once he had it all lined up in the side yard, he picked out three small items he could bear to throw away right then, and covered up the rest with a tarp and some rope. The tarp was prevent things getting either rained or snowed on. The rope was to keep my mother from getting into any of it, and throwing it all away herself. We were done at five minutes before noon. My father looked at his watch and dismissed me that five minutes early. I went into my bedroom and looked for the paper that Eileen had written her phone number on. I knew I'd put it somewhere, but I didn't remember where. I finally found it in my top dresser drawer. That was where my mother put all the stuff she found in my pockets when she was getting ready to do my laundry. She also put things in there that she found laying around on my floor. Anything really, that she didn't know if I wanted to keep or not. I was lucky that Eileen had written her name above the number, so that I knew I had the right number as soon as I found the paper. "Hello, may I speak with Eileen, please?" It was a man who answered the phone, probably Eileen's father I guessed. "Hello?" "Hi, Eileen, this is Larry." "Bill's friend, Larry?" "More like Bill's ex-friend, Larry. How are you doing?" "Oh yeah, I forgot. You two got into a fight about something to do with Jane." "Actually, it had more to do with you, and with my sister, but that isn't important. I was wondering if you could meet me over in that park where Bill and I played football before. I need to ask you something." "Can't you ask me over the phone? I don't want to walk all that way in the cold if it isn't for something important." "No, that's okay. It wasn't that important anyway." "Can't you ask me on the phone?" "It was just about another girl. I wanted you to call her and give her a message from me." "Why don't you just call her? You aren't that shy, are you?" "It doesn't matter. I'll see her in school on Monday anyway. Never mind. I have to go, I'll see you around." "Larry, don't hang up. What do you want me to tell her?" "I want to know if she can meet me somewhere tomorrow at one." "Where?" "The library, right in front. But you have to make sure only she knows it is me that wants to meet her there." "Why don't you call her?" "It's a long story, but I'm not allowed to see her or speak to her." "Okay, I'll do it. Give me her name and phone number. You want me to call you back after I talk with her?" I told her yes, and then gave her Karen's name and number, and then my number. She promised to do it right away. I waited in my bedroom, leaving the door open so that I'd hear the phone if it rang. Twenty minutes passed before my phone rang. I raced into the hallway to answer it. "Larry? This is Karen. Who was that girl who just called me?" "Hi. It was the cousin of a friend of mine. I couldn't call you in case it got us both in trouble. I'm surprised you can call me." "I have my own phone. I got it for my last birthday. It's in my bedroom, so I can call whoever I want to, and talk as long as I want. I thought you knew that?" "Are your parents home?" "My mom is, my dad is out bowling or something. It was strange having someone call me that I didn't even know. At first I thought it was someone from school pulling a dirty trick on me." "I have a place. A private one. But I can only use it on Sundays, from one to five. I can meet you tomorrow in front of the library if you can get away." "What kind of place?" "It's an apartment. Not very fancy or anything, but it is real private." "Tomorrow? What would I tell my parents? They would need to know where I was going. They know I'm not really friends with anyone anymore." "I don't know what you can tell them. Can you tell them you're going out for a walk, or to someone's house somewhere?" "It's too cold out. If I told them I was going to somebody's house, they'd want to drive me, and then go in to meet the girl's parents. I told you that they don't trust me anymore." "Suppose it was someone you knew, like Denise?" "Aren't you forgetting something? Denise hates me now." "If she didn't hate you, would your parents let you go to her house?" "I guess they would. They like Denise. I could ask them at least. I think they'd let me go there. Do you want me to pretend that's where I'm going? They might still decide to drive me there because of the cold." "I need to call Denise and feel her out about this. Can you call me here again in fifteen minutes? I'll call her and find out if she will do this for us or not." "You think Denise is going to help me to be with you? I don't think so. She's more likely to call my house and tell my parents." "Well, she's the only one who might do it. Besides, you two were good friends before. She should have forgiven you by now." "If you can get her to do that, I really would be grateful." "How come you never talked to her before, when she tried to call you on the phone?" "I did talk to her, twice, and each time she said mean things to me, and called me some really ugly names. That's when I stopped taking her calls. What did she say?" "Just that you wouldn't take her phone calls. I told her that you were probably afraid she'd yell at you, and she said that was probably right, that she would." "If you do call her, tell her I'll let her yell at me again, all she wants, but I still want to be her friend after she is all done yelling at me." "I'll tell her. Call me back in thirty minutes. It might take me longer now." I hung up on Karen. I had no idea how to present any of this to Denise. I already knew she was jealous of Karen, but I still remembered what Karen and I had been discussing when Karen first started telling everybody about Denise's private business. I figured that I'd better try to feel her out at first about making friends with Karen again. Then, if that didn't work, I'd tell her about how Agnes was going to let me use her apartment. I wasn't all that hopeful of success. "Hello? Denise?" "No, this is Trudie." She giggled, thinking that I really had mistaken her for her sister. "Really? Well, you sounded so grown up, I wouldn't have ever guessed it was you. Is that pretty sister of yours around?" "Denise?" "No, Trudie. I thought this was Denise." "You're funny." "Are you being a good girl, Trudie? Or are you still teasing all those young boys at the movies?" "I'm being good. That boy kissed me, I didn't kiss him back." "That isn't how it looked to me. Put Denise on for me, all right?" I heard her in the background, yelling at the top of her lungs for Denise. A minute later, Denise came to the phone. "Larry?" "That's right. How are you doing?" "I'm doing fine, how about you?" "Really good. In fact, that's why I'm calling. It's time for you and Karen to make up and be friends again." "I don't think I heard you right, Larry. You know I'm done being friends with her. After what she did, she's lucky that's all I'm doing, not speaking with her." "It's pretty important to me, and maybe to you too. Karen is really sorry. She told me that you can yell at her all you want to, as long as when you're all done, she can be friends with you again." "Every time I tried to yell at her, she hung up on me. If I called her now, she'd just do it again." "Why don't you call her and find out?" Two and a half hours later, Denise called me. "You were right, Larry, this time she didn't hang up." "You yelled at her for over two hours?" "No, I yelled at her for about the first five minutes. She cried and apologized for the next fifteen, and then we got to talking again. We both had a lot of things to catch up on with each other." "So, does that mean you two are back to being friends again?" "I think so. I told her about what happened on Tuesday and Thursday. She couldn't believe how lucky I was on Thursday, not to get into any trouble after us getting caught like that." "Denise, didn't you learn anything at all from the last time? From now on, after telling her, you have to depend on Karen to not accidentally telling somebody about that." "She won't do it anymore, she promised me." "Did she mention anything about tomorrow to you?" "She just said she'll come over in the morning sometime, and we'll spend the day together." "Oh. I guess you guys can do that. Sounds like a good chance for you to have a good time. I'll be all alone at my Aunt's apartment from one until five tomorrow. I'll be so bored. Maybe I can make some balloon animals with those rubbers I won't be needing now." "I'm not going back there again, Larry. Suppose they were to catch us again?" "I won't happen, but even if it did, it wouldn't matter. I have permission to use it this time." "You don't!" "I do. Every Sunday, before one, my Aunt goes to visit someone, and she says she never gets back before five. She even gave me my own key. She told me that she changes the sheets on her bed on Sunday night, and said it wouldn't be any more trouble to wash them if they were a little dirtier than usual." "You're lying. I know you are. Why would she do something like that?" "I'm not sure. I think she didn't want me to keep getting into trouble. She knew I wasn't ever going to stop doing it. I don't care why she did it, only that she did. I'm going to be in front of the library at one tomorrow. If you guys want to meet me there, we can have some fun." "Both of us?" "I thought that was what you and Karen both decided. Before all of the problems in the cafeteria. Or did I understand it wrong?" "That was before, and we were only thinking and talking about doing that. I thought you and I were doing good by ourselves, Larry. Do you really want to let Karen know about the apartment? That was our place, not hers." "I don't want to cause another argument between you two. I'll just find something else to do. You and Karen have a good time tomorrow. I'll talk to you both again on Monday." "I need to call Karen, Larry. I can't decide this all alone. Can I call you back after we decide?" "When will you two make up your mind?" "I'll call you back soon. Maybe in an hour." "Don't wait much longer. I need time to make other plans if I need to. I'd rather if the three of us could get together, even if all we did was talk." "Just talk? If it was only to go there and talk, that would be all right with me. I'm sure Karen wouldn't mind the three of us just talking. I'll call and ask her and then call you right back. Don't do anything in the meantime, Larry. Okay?" "I'll just sit here near the phone, Denise. I won't leave unless I need to pee or something." She hung up. I wondered if I should try to work it so that all the three of us really did was talk. Afterwards, maybe I could convince Denise to let me take Karen into the bedroom alone so that she and I could have our privacy. I didn't think I wanted to do it with both of them on this first visit. I could see doing that later maybe, after we were all used to being together like that. There were a lot of risks still. Karen's mom and dad could be a big problem, if they ever found out. Denise might decide to do something to get Karen into trouble. Karen might blurt something out at school that would get all of us in trouble again. I had to think of all the bad things that might happen, most of which could cause me a lot of big problems. I had to weigh all of those problems against the chance to get Karen naked on Agnes's bed, with me slamming my dick into her from behind. I could almost see her beautiful ass jiggling as my dick pounded into her. I realized, fairly quickly, that I had already made my decision. I looked down at the lump in my jeans, and saw that the vote had been unanimous. Ten minutes after we had hung up, Denise called me again. "Karen doesn't want to risk anyone seeing you and her together. Can we just come straight to the apartment right after one, and you can let us in? We both agreed that all we're going to do is talk. No kissing or anything else. Right?" "Denise, I won't even bring any rubbers. That way, even if we changed our minds, we couldn't do anything." That sentence was met with silence. I was wondering if we had been disconnected somehow. I was just about to say something again when Denise spoke up. "Larry, there's a ninety nine per cent probability that all we're going to do is just talk. We should play it safe though, just in case. You better just go ahead and bring some. How many do you have left?" "I think its only just the one that I thought my mother had found. Just one should be enough for that one per cent chance, don't you think?" "You have to have at least one for each of us. Suppose you slip up with Karen, and then I decide I want you to do it to me too? No, it's only fair that you have two." "I'll go down and buy three more, so I'll have four. I'll leave two at home for next time." "Bring all of them, Larry. We won't need them, but I'd feel more comfortable knowing that they were there if something happened." Sunday, my father let me out of his car when he dropped my aunt off at her apartment. It was right after the church service was over. Aunt Agnes had prepared a long list of chores that needed to be done in her apartment, and an even longer one for downstairs in the dance studio. My father had looked it over in the car right when we were leaving the church. He looked like he was satisfied that there was plenty there to keep me busy for at least three hours. The cleaning of the stove and oven alone would take me that long he said. I had brought along a change of work clothes in my old gym bag from junior high school. I wondered if Agnes was really going to make me do all of that stuff. As soon as my father drove away, Agnes went up to the apartment and made a phone call. Five minutes later, a horn beeped downstairs, and Agne left, telling me to make sure to lock up when I was done using the apartment. I had asked her about the list, but she just laughed and told me that she and my mom had made that up for my father's benefit. Agnes said that my father had been telling my mother everyday to make sure I had a lot of work to do on Sunday. When Agnes left the apartment I peeked out through the curtain, but I couldn't tell who was driving the car that she got into. I looked at my watch, it was twelve thirty five. I had four rubbers and a hard on that was looking forward to getting some relief soon. I had very few doubts that, if they showed up at all, I was going to get some pussy. I hoped they both came, but if it was only one, I really hoped that one was Karen. At five minutes past one, I heard a single set of feet climbing up the stairs to the apartment. I got up from the kitchen chair I'd been sitting on, and opened up the door. I had hoped it would be Karen, but it wasn't. "Trudie, what the hell are you doing here?" ------- Chapter 32 "Trudie, what the hell are you doing here?" "They were afraid to be seen coming up here, just in case you weren't really here. So, they sent me up instead. Can I come in?" I stood aside and let her pass. I did it more because it was an automatic reaction, than from any willingness on my part to let her come in. Denise and Karen must both be crazy to be sending Trudie to my aunt's apartment. In the meanwhile, Trudie was checking everything out, even going into the bedroom to take a look at the bed, and at the bathroom beyond it. "Trudie, you go home, and tell them this was all a big mistake. I can't believe Denise would send you all the way over here just to make sure that I'm here. You're too young to be out here alone when it's so cold anyway. Come on, I'll walk you back home." "They didn't send me alone, if that's what you're thinking. They're across the street, waiting for me to signal them." With that, she opened up Agnes' front door and waved her hands in the universal come here signal. I stood behind her and watched as Denise and Karen, both heavily bundled against the cold, ran across the street, and started climbing the stairs.Trudie opened the door wide for them, and then shut it behind them, after they had come through it. I wasted little time in yelling at them for bringing Trudie along. "Larry, this little snoop was listening to Karen and I talking all morning. We had to bring her. We both thought she had gone out or something, but she was hiding in my closet the whole time." "I don't care what she heard, I don't want her here. You can all just leave right now." "How come you don't want me here? I'm a girl the same as they are. Neither of them has done as much as I have either." Trudie was all puffed up and belligerent. She seemed to be angry because I didn't want her there with us. "You're eleven, Trudie. I don't want to do anything with an eleven year old. And, I don't care how much stuff you've done with Tommy Lampkin either." "Not just him! I've done things with four or five other boys too. Tommy was just the first one. Your sister is only a few months older than me, and she does lots of sex stuff with other girls. I just happen to like boys better. There's one other thing too, I'm going to be twelve in less than a week." I didn't care for her comment about Kate. She was too quick to talk about things that shouldn't be talked about. I knew she would get us all into trouble if we let her hang around with us. Even the fact that she was here now presented a big problem for me. If she mentioned us being up here to Kate, that would put me at a big disadvantage with Kate for trying to keep her behavior in line for the future. I had to get something on Trudie that would keep her afraid of saying anything about the rest of us. "Name those other boys besides Tommy." I didn't think she would, but I thought it would at least slow her down with those other comments about Kate. I was hoping she would give me at least one name that was someone I knew. Instead, she quickly rattled off the names of at least five boys besides Tommy that she had done things with. I didn't know any of them, but Denise apparently did. Trudie mentioned, as if it wasn't that important, that she had fooled around with two of the boys at the same time. Besides Tommy, those two boys were the only ones that she claimed to have gone all the way with. The other three just played with her pussy she said. She also mentioned that she had given Tommy Lampkin a blow job over at Tommy's house, when she was still friends with Tommy's sister, Mary. While she was rattling all of this off, the three of us who were listening, just looked at her, finding it difficult to believe she was telling us all of this in such a matter of fact manner. She finally stopped talking, but no one said anything for awhile. We were all waiting for someone else to speak. "Trudie, why did you do all of that? Aren't you worried about your reputation?" Karen was the first to say something. "Why did you let Tommy put it in your mouth? He probably had it in Mary's cunny before that." This from Denise. "He did, and mine too. Mary did it first, so I wanted to try it. I don't care that much about my reputation. If people ask me anything, I'll just say the boys are lying. It's only their word against mine. Can I stay now, Larry?" I looked at her. She was cute. She wasn't yet very well developed, less than Kate, but because she too was a dancer, her butt was pretty muscular already, and so were her legs and calves. She wasn't going to be as pretty as Denise, but she did have quite a bit of spunk. That spunk made her personality more vibrant than either Denise or Karen's. She wasn't even twelve yet. That kind of gave me some pause. She was already here with us though, having forced Denise and Karen to bring her. I didn't see any way I could get her to unlearn all the things she had found out about Karen, Denise and me. It just seemed easier to tell her she could stay. "You can stay, but I'm not doing anything with you." "That's all right. I never said I wanted to do anything with you. I would like to see your dick though. Karen and Denise were talking about it all morning." Karen and Denise were both blushing after Trudie said that. They didn't deny any of it though. "Well, you can't. In fact, I don't think any of us will be seeing anything like that today. I thought we were just going to talk. Isn't that what we all agreed to?" Karen and Denise both looked at each other and started laughing. I asked them what was so funny, which caused both of them to laugh even harder. I didn't say anything more to them. I waited for them to quit laughing, and to tell me the joke too. Instead of doing that, Karen leaned over and whispered something in Denise's ear, which sent the two of them into even more laughter. "They spent an hour arguing over which one would get to do it with you first. They almost had a fight about it." Trudie's words stopped both girls from all their laughing. They both glared at her, and Denise warned her to just keep her mouth shut about anything else she saw or heard. "So, tell me Trudie, how did they settle it?" I could see Denise and Karen both getting scared when I asked Trudie that question. Trudie stared back at her sister, and at Karen. She didn't seem at all intimidated, not by their looks, and not by what they had said to her. If anything, their threats had made her bolder, and even more assertive. "Karen licked Denise's cunny so that she could get to be the first one. I saw her doing it too, and that's when they caught me in the closet." You could hear a drop of water falling into the kitchen sink because of how quiet it had gotten in Agnes's apartment. Denise and Karen were looking at each other in horror. Trudie had a big smile on her face, probably thinking that this little revelation had paid her sister back for a lot of things that Denise might have done wrong to her in the past. I could hardly give credence to what my ears had just heard. I didn't have any inkling at all that Denise and Karen might have been doing those kind of things together. They sure didn't act like Kate and Clara did when they were together. I didn't think Karen would just offer to do something like that out of the blue though, so they must have some history of having done those things together before right now. I looked at Karen. When she noticed me looking, she turned her head away so that I couldn't see her face any more. I then turned my gaze on Denise. She braved it out at first, by trying to give me one of her beautiful smiles. She wasn't quite able to pull it off. Denise, sensing that it wasn't enough, lost even the will to keep trying, and she turned her face away from me also. I looked back at Trudie. As I stared at her, my face not looking too pleased, her smile also disappeared. "Did Karen look like she was doing a good job? Did Denise seem to like it?" My questions restored Trudie's confidence in a hurry. "She sure seemed to like it. She was moaning a lot, and pulling really hard on her own boobies. Karen liked it too, I think. She was playing with herself while she licked Denise." I had been looking, not at Trudie while she talked, but at Denise and Karen. Karen seemed like she cringed at every word, but Denise was starting to get angry. I didn't want to see Karen and Trudie getting into a hair pulling fight in my Aunt's tiny apartment. "I find that exciting, Trudie. I wish I'd been in that closet with you when they did that. I bet you would have gotten a real close look at my dick if I had been there. You might have gotten more than just a look too. Now that I know you like to suck dicks, maybe I'd have let you try mine." Karen and Denise both responded to what I'd said. They were both looking at me again. Trudie was a little flushed from her recounting of the tale, and from what I'd just told her. "If it's like what Denise said, I don't think I could fit it in my mouth. I'd lick it though, if you take it out and let me." "Anyone else want to get in a few licks on my dick?" I looked right at Karen when I said that. Now, I was smiling, trying to let her know it was all right, no matter what she had said, or what she had previously done with Denise. Karen didn't say anything. I looked over at Denise. She didn't say anything either. "Would you like to watch Trudie licking my dick, and then trying to suck it? She seems to have enjoyed watching you two earlier." Denise almost said something, but then she stopped. Karen was looking at Trudie. She didn't look happy with her. "I guess they don't want to watch you Trudie. I guess we'll all just sit here, talking, until someone brings up something that we all want to do. How are you coming in my aunt's ballet class?" Trudie had just started taking lessons in the advanced students program with Agnes "Real good. She knows a lot more about ballet than your mom does." "She is a professional dancer. My mom is just a dance teacher. Agnes made her living as a dancer in Hungary." "Larry, we don't want to sit here listening to you two talking about ballet." Denise had a familiar whine in her voice. I didn't like that whine, but it was good to hear her talking again. "What do you want to talk about, Denise?" "I don't know, but not dancing." "So, you don't want to talk about dancing, sucking dicks, or getting Karen to lick your pussy. How about school. You want to talk about next week's Biology test? I hear it's going to be really hard, and counts for a third of our grade." "Not school either. We could talk about school anywhere. Why did you have us come over here if that's all you want to talk about?" "Is that how you feel Denise? How about you Karen? Are you both sorry that you came? It sounds to me like you were both having a good time over at your house, Denise. I'm surprised you left it just to come over here. About the only one that seems to be happy to be here talking to me is Trudie, and I never even invited her. In the meantime, these precious minutes of privacy are going by pretty fast, and none of us are doing anything that you could even halfway consider fun. Why don't you and Karen take the bedroom Denise, and Trudie and I will stay out here, and see how much she likes licking my dick?" "I don't know why you're getting all mad about anything, Larry. Denise and I are the ones who got spied on, and embarrassed, by this little seventh grade slut. Now you're sending us into the bedroom while you get her to lick your dick? How fair is that? She's the one who messed it up for Denise and me, and you give her a reward for it. The whole time we were walking over here today, Trudie was bragging to us that she's going to convince you to do it to her today. Now, you're just letting her have her way like she said you would. She shouldn't even be here." "I agree with you, she shouldn't be here. But, she is. And, the reason she's here, that's your fault isn't it, yours and Denise's? I really was hoping that I would get the chance to do it with you today, Karen. I've been thinking about doing it to you from behind. I really wanted to watch your beautiful ass bouncing and jiggling around while I kept sticking my dick in your pussy. Instead of my getting to do that, I discover that you and Denise are both doing it together, and, in front of an audience. You two get caught, and then you bring her to me, so that I have to share in the danger that you two created. Thank you for that." "Have Trudie and Karen go in the bedroom, Larry. I'll suck it for you. Karen's right about this, you know, Trudie is the one who was bad, and now you are letting her turn all of us against each other. Didn't you want to do it with me today, too? All you said was Karen." "I meant both of you, Denise, but how are we supposed to do things without involving your sister? You can see how she tells people what you were doing without a worry in the world. The only reason she didn't tell on you for fucking Tommy, was because she was fucking him too. It's the same now. If she just watches and doesn't do anything that incriminates her, she'll be telling everyone about it in a day or two. If you and Karen make her lick your pussies, and she sucks my cock, she won't say anything. She'd keep quiet because she wouldn't want people to find out any of those things about her. It's one thing to tell your friends about other people's secrets, but having your own secrets told is another thing entirely." "I'm not licking anybodys pussy, so you can just forget about that. If I suck you, that will be enough, I won't tell. You could do it to me too, then I really wouldn't tell." "It's too late now, Trudie, you already did tell. Because of that, you will lick at least one pussy so we can be sure you won't tell anyone else about what you saw. Pick one, either Karen or Denise." "My own sister? That's so sick! I'd throw up from it. I might lick Karen, if she did it to me too, but, only if you promise to do it to me while I'm licking her." "She's not licking me, and I'm certainly not licking her either." Karen had stood up and had assumed a threatening stance towards Trudie. "Keep this up, girls. In a few days we'll all be standing in front of our parents, trying to explain what we've been doing. Karen, Trudie already said she'd lick you if you lick her too. It isn't like you've never done it before, so I'm asking you to do it again now. You don't have to enjoy it." "Do it, Karen. I don't want to get in trouble. I'd do it if she wasn't my own sister." "If I do it, then I want to be the first one to do it with Larry." Karen had given in pretty easily. I wondered how much of her earlier show of reluctance had been genuine. "Only if he promises me that I get him next." Trudie spoke up. I guess I was now someone that people felt they could call dibs on, like riding in the front passenger seat of the car. 'I've got dibs on Larry's dick'. "The two of you come in the bedroom, and take your clothes off. I'll watch you both, and then I'll choose the one who looks like she did the best job of licking." I had never actually seen one girl licking another. When Kate had done Clara, Kate's head was under Clara's skirt. Even that had been exciting to watch though. Karen and Trudie got undressed. I was looking at Denise out of the corner of my eye as they did. She was aroused. I could hear her breathing heavy from five feet away from me. Trudie was the first one out of all her clothes, and she got on the bed and went right to the middle of it. She had a better body naked than I would have thought. She had as much hair on her pussy as I had on my dick. More hair than Kate did. Her titties were small, but they were noticeably there, Her areolas were light pink, and her nipples weren't very prominent. Karen finished undressing, and her body was so much more womanly and voluptuous than either Trudie's or Denise's. She got on the bed, and quickly threw a leg over Trudie's head. There was no hesitation at all. She looked down, between her legs, and then lowered her pussy right onto Trudie's face. She moved herself around a little and then raised up just a bit from her actual contact with Trudie's lips. I watched as Trudie stuck her tongue out, and then I heard Karen's sharp intake of breath as Trudie's tongue made contact with her clit. Karen stayed in a sitting up position for a few seconds more before she lowered her own face to Trudie's pussy, and started licking her also. It didn't take long before neither of them were even aware that Denise and I were in the same room with them. I opened up my fly and pulled my dick out. It was hard to make it bend enough to get it out over the top of my underpants. I had to let my balls out too, because the stretched underpants were cutting off my circulation down there. I moved over closer to Denise, taking her hand, placing it right on my dick. "Suck it Denise. You can be the first one to do that, if you want to be. She kept looking at her sister and Karen on Agnes's bed, listening to them, as they licked each other up to a feverish point. Denise tore her eyes away, and moved over to the bed. She sank down on the bed, but her head was still too high to comfortably suck me. She got down on the floor and started licking all over my dick. She used her lips and tongue, rubbing my dick back and forth over her face. Finally, she opened her mouth wide and put the whole, sensitive head inside. She had her tongue on the bottom of my glans and was licking it in a way that seemed to shoot right down into my balls. It was a most incredible feeling. I knew that I was going to have to cum in only a few more seconds. It kept getting stronger, so I pulled it out of her mouth and aimed it away from her face before letting go. The first blast flew out under quite a bit of pressure. Some of it landed right on Karen's cheek, and the rest on Trudie's thigh. The second blast landed on Agnes's bed covers. I managed to catch the third and fourth ones in my cupped hand, while I was scurrying over to the bathroom. All the rest was only dribbles, which landed in the sink, as I stroked my dick from above. It had been a good, strong cum. This was caused as much by the scene unfolding on the bed, as by having someone sucking me for the first time. I washed off my hands, and put my dick back inside my pants. I got some toilet paper and cleaned off the cum on Agnes's bed covers, then I wiped off of Karen's cheek and Trudie's thigh. I went back to the bathroom and flushed the tissue down the toilet bowl. This time, when I came back, Denise had gotten out of her clothes and was trying to wiggle around so that she could take Trudie's place under Karen. Trudie didn't protest. I think the recent interlude under Karen's tongue had caused her to question herself at least a little. As she moved away from Denise and Karen, I pulled out a rubber, and dropped my pants and underwear. My dick was already getting hard again. I put the rubber on, again with one hand, and bent Trudie over the bed so that her hands were supporting her upper body. I used my foot to get her to spread her legs, and then I started rubbing the head of my dick between her legs. She raised herself up on her tip toes, and my dick started inching forward. It was very tight going, from the very beginning, and I think it might have been pretty uncomfortable for her. I could feel her frigging her clit with her fingers, while she had her weight balanced on one hand and her two tippy toes. It was a good thing she had her ballet training, and could stay raised up like that and hold her precarious position. With time, I was able to get myself seated up inside her. There was still quite a bit that wasn't in her, but she couldn't manage to take any more. She was as adjusted to me by now as she was going to get, but every stroke was still very difficult because of her pussy's natural tightness. The large amount of friction this generated kept me growing inside her, and that just made it even tighter, until, finally, my dick was trapped inside her, and I was unable to move at all. She simply kept frigging herself until she had an orgasm. She paused for only a few seconds to rest, and then went right back to frigging her clit again. This time, when she came, she ripped herself off of me right in the middle of it, taking my rubber with her, as she fell forward on the bed. I reached over between her legs and retrieved the rubber, pulling it back on over my dick. Karen and Denise had finished, and were both watching me to see what I'd do next. I reached over and took Karen's leg and pulled it towards me. When I had her positioned on her hands and knees, just the way I had imagined her, I made one thrust all the way up inside her. For the next fifteen minutes at least, I pounded away in her, slamming my hips into her heavily muscled ass. My cock was hitting her cervix with every inward stroke, causing her to pull away at first, trying to adjust herself so that it didn't hurt when I did that. I guess it finally penetrated my mind that I was hurting her, so I stopped thrusting all the way forward. She began to relax her muscles, now that she wasn't being pummeled by my battering ram. Denise had turned around and was now facing Karen's face with her pussy, inviting Karen to resume licking her. Trudie was watching everything, but seemed quite satisfied to only be an observer. Karen moved her head down and began licking Denise. That was all it took for me, and soon, I was filling up my rubber. I pulled my spent dick out of Karen. I held the rubber on as I did so. As soon as I turned to go to the bathroom, Karen lifted her head from Denise's pussy. When she moved her head away, I was surprised at how wet and open Denise's pussy looked. It looked like it had right after I fucked her the first time, almost a week ago. I went to the bathroom and cleaned my dick off in the sink, then flushed the used rubber down the toilet. Karen was standing beside the bed, as was Trudie when I returned. Only Denise was still lying on it. I climbed on the bed, and moved between her spread opened legs. I put my dick right against her opened hole and slid it in without a rubber. I wanted to feel how warm it was, in order to compare it to Karen's, which, even with the rubber on, had been very warm. Denise's wasn't as warm., but it sure did feel good, to both of us. I started fucking her hard, and she kept fucking me back, seeming to want as much force and depth as I could manage. I only did it for a minute, before pulling out, telling her I didn't have any more rubbers. "I don't care. Put it back. It feels so good in me like that." Instead, I went down and began licking her. She didn't make any protest, and I managed to bring her off that way. I also had two fingers inside her, that I was using to diddle her with. That did it for that afternoon's sex. With four of us in that little room, it absolutely reeked of a sexual odor. The way the apartment was kept so warm didn't help with the smell either. I hoped that it would dissipate somewhat before Agnes returned. All three of the girls went into the bathroom together, their clothes in their arms. I heard them talking, laughing, giggling and whispering together for the fifteen minutes that it took them to get everything put back on and straightened up. I assume they were also doing some primping, because when they came out, their hair was back in some semblance of order. "Larry, we have to go, okay? Karen's afraid her parents might come over to check up on her. I had a real good time, but it would have been even better if you had brought another rubber for me. Thanks for taking it out even when I asked you not to." I kissed all three of them, one at a time. Each one got a little bit of a compliment whispered into her ear. I told Denise she would always be the first one who ever gave me a blow job. With Karen, I told her that watching her ass while I fucked her was even better than I thought it would be. I told Trudie that I'd never forget how tight her pussy had been on me. I told her I really enjoyed filling her up. "Larry, tell them I get to come back next week too." Trudie was almost begging me with the imploring look on her face, and the tone she was using on me. "I can't do that Trudie. I'm not even sure whether I'll have it again next Sunday. I do want to see you some more though. It will depend on whether the three of you can keep your mouths shut or not. I won't let any of you come play here again if I hear any stories from anyone. At the junior high school or at the high school. I really mean that too. You can get all of us in a lot of trouble if you don't watch what you say." I watched as the three of them left together. It was a little before four. I left my gym bag full of work clothes in Agnes's closet, and walked back home. I got there before four twenty, and my father looked me over carefully. "You look tired, Larry. That's good. I was afraid your auntie was going to be too easy on you. Maybe this way you can learn better from it, and not repeat your mistake?" "I'm not sure papa, between you working me so hard yesterday, and what I did today, I'm glad there's a week of school so that I can recuperate from my weekend." My father laughed, happy that he was teaching me what he thought was a valuable lesson. His father had punished him by assigning extra chores on the farm whenever he was bad as a kid. His philosophy was much the same. When I vandalized that house, he had made me go to work with him for a whole month of my summer vacation, picking up all of the trash in his company's parking lot for eight hours a day. I didn't make one penny for doing it either. He doesn't even own the company, but he made me do it for free anyway. ------- Chapter 33 During school the next day, Denise and Karen were back to being best friends again. They didn't ignore me, but they weren't overly lovey dovey with me either. Karen and I had lunch together, and we talked about school problems for the whole lunch period. After school, I walked Denise part of the way to her house, before I had to turn right, and head over to my mom's studio. My mother wanted me to move some mats outside so they would get the benefit of some cold, fresh air. I went up to Aunt Agnes' apartment and changed into my work clothes. She was up in her apartment, having some hot tea and taking a rest between classes. At four o'clock she was teaching a small class of advanced ballet students. I stripped down to my underwear, and put on the old shirt and jeans I was going to wear while I did the work for my mom. I was a little nervous about seeing Agnes. I hoped she wasn't going to be mad at me about the smell we left in her bedroom. "Did you have a pleasant afternoon yesterday, Larry?" "I guess. Some friends came by and we mostly talked." "Friends? Larry, this was to be just you and a friend. I don't want other boys bringing girls here too." Agnes sounded upset and worried. "No, there weren't any other boys. I wouldn't do that. I know better. Two of my friends came over, and one of them brought her sister too. We talked, and then we did other stuff." "Not all together, Larry?" This was going to be the tricky part. I didn't want to lie to her, but I wasn't comfortable telling her the truth either. Why was she even asking me this? "One at a time." "Not all three of them?" The way she asked me that question made me feel like I was some kind of a sex fiend. When we did it, it hadn't seemed like it was that much. I knew it wasn't the usual sort of thing. Now, I felt I had already said too much to back away and start trying to lie. It would only confuse things, and make it worse. "One at a time. I didn't know there were going to be so many." "These girls permitted this, Larry? What kind of girl allows this sort of behavior? In front of the other girls too?" "They are close friends. That's how they wanted to do it. They did it to each other too." "You had an orgy, Larry? On my bed? This is what you thought I would find acceptable behavior from you? This isn't what your mother and I had in mind. You should be ashamed!" As soon as she said that to me, I was ashamed. I was ashamed that I'd allowed myself to tell her the truth. I'd broken my own first rule for survival with adults. With anyone really. I had talked about things that I shouldn't have. "I can't believe you fell for that, Aunt Agnes. You should have seen the look on your face when I said that to you. I thought you were going to explode." "You were joking?" "About the orgy? Yeah! I'm fourteen years old. But there were three girls here for real. My girlfriend and one of her friends and the friend's sister. The friend and her sister were coming back from church, so they all walked over here together. The sister needed to use the toilet, so I let her, and then they left. All except for my girlfriend. I can't believe you really thought I would do anything like that. Wait until I tell my mom." "That was not a funny joke, Larry. Why would you want to tease your own aunt that way? I do not want you to talk of any of this with your mother. She isn't like me, Larry. She wouldn't accept from you that it was merely a joke you were playing. Not when I mention to her about the condition of my apartment when you left it." "I tried to pick everything up so it looked like I found it. We didn't leave it messy." "Larry, I'm not speaking of a mess. When I got home last night, I had to leave my coat on for another hour. Do you know why?" "The smell?" I had to leave the front door open, plus the windows in the kitchen, and in the bathroom. Still, even after I put on fresh linens, I could smell a faint residue. Now, I understand why. It will not happen again though, am I right? One guest, Larry, no more!" "I'm sorry, Aunt Agnes. I understand there are rules now. One girl on a Sunday." "Larry, your mama is so afraid that you might be growing up too fast. I've said nothing to her about last night. A girl and a boy, that is a romantic thing, a natural part of growing up. For you, at fourteen, a little early perhaps, but still natural and understandable to a mother. Multiple partners, there is no romance in that, only Hedonism. There is sharing, and then there is using. Make sure that you understand the difference. I would not want you growing up to be someone who uses women only for your own pleasure." "It wasn't like that, but I understand what you're saying. For your apartment, you have standards which you want honored." "For my nephew, I have standards. The apartment is only a place where I sleep and store my clothes and other things. It means nothing more than that to me. You mean so much more. Don't debase yourself, and your friends, in order for you all to enjoy a few moment of physical pleasure. Sex, without intimacy, is only a complex form of masturbation. You don't need a crowd of people to do that." "It is also a matter of time and opportunity. If you have so little time, you have to make the best use of it that you can. We would have preferred to do it separately, but there wasn't the time for it." "You are still thinking only of the physical, Larry. Maybe that is usual for one so young. I forget you are so new to this, and it is all just experimenting to you. You are not seriously involved with any of these girls then?" "I like them. One of them, I like a lot. But, I'm only serious about Clara. She wasn't here yesterday." "That is good, Larry. If she had been, you wouldn't be as serious about her today. We protect and shelter those we love. Yesterday you didn't protect or shelter anyone. No more of that in my apartment, like yesterday. Understood?" "Yes, no more, I understand. Thank you." "You're welcome. Now, hurry down to help your mama, and let me rest up for my next class." I ran down and got started on dragging those heavy mats outside. I set each one up on its side against the building's wall. It took me thirty minutes to get them all outside and set up. I went back inside to get warm again, and to wait for the mats to have a chance to get aired out. I looked over at the girls waiting for my aunt to come down to teach them. There were four of them. Two of the girls were college girls that I didn't know, Freida Muller was a senior at my high school. She was my mother's first star pupil. She had been taking lessons at a different studio for about ten years. She had taken one class from my mom before Agnes saw her, and brought her into her advanced dance program. Trudie was the fourth girl. Next to the other three girls, she looked very young. She noticed me looking at her while the girls were warming up, and she waved to me. I waved back. My aunt came down and started assigning the different girls things to work on. She never had any of her students doing the same thing in her advanced classes. Agnes preferred to work on individual small components of dance, putting it all together only after months of working on each separate component. I don't know if that was a good way to do it or not. She hadn't been coaching the advanced dancers long enough yet for any of them to have gotten close to the point of being a professional. That was her goal. She wanted to train someone to have a career much better than what she had. For Agnes, that was the reason she began teaching the advanced students. I knew she was very excited over Trudie's chances, because she was still so young and yet, so advanced. I watched my aunt working, admiring her efficiency, as she divided her time with each of the four girls. She kept each one busy working on their individual dance component. Often the component was only one single move, but sometimes, the component was a series of connected moves. Trudie was working on a turn and deep bend with her arm, then lifting the arm back up until she did the final turn. In all, it didn't take seven seconds to complete. Trudie repeated it many times, but she looked like she was struggling with it. Agnes noticed, and went over to her, first walking her through each part. Trudie tried it several more times, with Agnes close by, looking on. It was better, but still not quite right to my untrained eye. Finally, Agnes handed Trudie the clipboard full of her notes. Then, she performed the component in front of Trudie. Her moves were all done just a little slower than Trudie had done hers. When Agnes did them, it was done as one continuously flowing and connected motion. Watching as Agnes did the move, I began to understand for the first time what it was Trudie had been attempting. I've never studied ballet, and yet, after watching Agnes do it, I believed that I understood that move. Trudie gave Agnes back her clipboard. She seemed excited, and anxious to try it again herself. I watched closely as she performed the component. She was much improved over all her earlier efforts. Not as good as Agnes, but still, a lot improved. I could see, by the smile on Trudie's face, that she had a much better understanding of the component now. Agnes said something to her, probably an encouragement, and then went over and began helping one of the college girls with a stretch. I put my coat back on, and then went back outside to turn the mats around the other way. That was really one of the few times I'd ever watched my aunt teaching the advanced students. I didn't think that method would work well with the average students. I thought about what Agnes had said to me before in her apartment. Maybe I wasn't yet advanced enough to be able to benefit from what she was saying to me. Still, I did agree with her about not bringing Clara to the apartment. I knew I wanted to put my dick in Clara's pussy, but I also knew I wanted it to be different than how I did it with those three other girls yesterday. Clara and I were different that Denise or Karen and I. Trudie was different than even Karen and Denise. Trudie and I had only been sex. Karen and Denise were friendship and sex. Clara though, that was love, friendship and sex. I realized that I better have that all worked out clearly in my head before she and I did it. I wondered if that was what Clara had meant when she said that it was different with me, or that she was only playing when she did things with Kate. I had been playing in Agnes's apartment. All three times I'd been there. In fact, I'd always been playing before, even with Clara. If Agnes was right, I had better change how I did things with Clara. If she thought we were special, and I thought it too, I had to make sure I treated it different and valued it differently too. I finished turning the mats and hurried back inside. Agnes was speaking to my mom, and they were discussing some kind of business. Agnes didn't interfere with the business part, that was my mother's area. My mother let Agnes do what she wanted to do as far as all the advanced students and the curriculum the studio offered. Agnes would teach any of the real dance classes my mom asked her to. This time there seemed to be an argument, and then, my mom gave in. I could see that Agnes had gotten her way by the expression on each of their faces. My mom went back to teaching her class of little children. It was part tumbling and part exercise for kids about five and six years old. She had about twenty kids in this group, and they all ran wild and made lots of noise in the studio. They weren't tumbling, only because I was still airing out the mats. At five o'clock, my mother told me to bring the mats back in. I did that while she went in and took care of the bookkeeping for the studio that day. When I was done, I noticed her standing there with Trudie. Both had their coats on. Agnes had apparently gone back to her apartment. "Are you done, Larry? We need to drop Trudie off at her house on our way home." Trudie sat in the back as we drove her home. Neither of us spoke to each other, but I did turn around and smile at her, she had smiled back. After we dropped her off, my mother complained that Agnes had talked her into letting Trudie take the advanced class tuition free from now on. After she said it, I guessed that this was what they had been arguing about. Agnes never worried about making money. If she had things her way, none of the serious students would have been charged for lessons. At least, that's what my mom said. My mom wasn't like that. Those twenty little kids who had been running around the studio for the last hour? That was the kind of class she liked. Twenty kids, at two dollars per kid. My mom had taken in forty bucks for running them around and tiring them out for an hour. During that same hour, Agnes had made eight bucks for the studio, and had just convinced my mother to give two of them back. Both Agnes and my mother needed the other in the business though. Agnes had the dance credentials to satisfy the parents of students who took their dance seriously. My mother had the patience to run around with all the rank beginners. Agnes seldom taught any class with more than five or six students in it. My mother usually had fifteen or more in all her classes. From that twenty student tumbling class, maybe three or four would continue on to take a real gymnastics or dancing class. By the time a student got to Agnes's intermediate classes, they usually stayed for a long time. My mother got them started, and kept them herded together, then Agnes got to work with the ones who survived their early training and persevered. They both actually liked doing things that way. I'd watched Agnes trying to work with a big class once when my mom had to be somewhere else. She had not enjoyed the experience. When I got home, Clara was just putting her coat on to leave. I asked her if she would mind if I walked her home. From the smile on her face, I was really happy that I had thought to ask her. Even though it was cold out, we held hands and walked real slow. "I'm glad you waited until I got home. I wanted to talk to you. I really enjoyed taking you to the dance on Friday. I was thinking about what you said about not counting the things you've done with other girls. I don't count those things you've done. I don't really count anything I do either, unless it's with you. I guess I do count it, but I keep it on a separate sheet. I'm not saying this to you right. What I meant was that you're special to me, and none of the other girls are special to me like you are. I don't love any of them, only you." "I love Kate, Larry. I didn't mean for you to think I didn't. I'm not in love with Kate, but I love her a lot. I meant before only about the playing she and I do as not counting. I do count the love." "I know you two love each other. I'm not jealous of what you do with her, or that you love her. I love her too, as a sister, and a friend. I'm talking about the difference between how I love you, and how I only like other girls. You have been doing things for longer than I have. I'm doing things now, just finding out about what things I like, and trying things with other people. I wanted you to know that, to me, there is a big difference between fooling around, and being in love." "When are we going to stop fooling around? Should I get to fool around with other boys too?" "Clara, I don't fool around with boys." "If you did, I might like that better." "Well, I don't. If you did want to fool around with other boys, that would change things. I'm not sure how I'd feel if you did that. When you said it, I didn't like hearing it. Is that what you want? To do things with other boys?" "I've thought about it. Kate and I have talked about it for a long time. That was before you said you loved me. Now, I don't know if I want to or not. If it would make you not love me, then I guess I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't want to do it before you and I have a chance to do it together. I want to do it with you first." "I want to do it with you too. Afterwards, we can talk about this other thing. I guess it would depend on who it was, and why you were going to do it. I know I wouldn't want to be there when you did it with anyone else, boy or girl. I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else if you were there either. Is that what you and Kate were thinking? The two of you to share one guy?" "We talked about us sharing two guys." "Actual real guys, or just two guys that you might later find?" "Two guys from school that both like us. We haven't decided for sure to do it or anything, we've just been talking about it once in awhile, since school started in September." "You would do it with both of them?" "All four of us, at the same time. That's what Kate said. She wants us both to do it for the first time together. That's why we haven't done it. I told her my first time, I want it to be with you." We had gotten to her house earlier, and had continued talking about this outside. I was trying to act all calm on the outside, but, inside, I was getting really upset. Jealous upset, and upset with Kate too. I knew I had no room, not from the way I'd been acting, to be jealous of Clara, but I was. I didn't want to admit it. If I did admit it, I would need to be willing to change what I was doing. I wanted to say something to her. Something to keep her from doing it without my having to commit to doing anything different myself. I couldn't think of anything that didn't sound really selfish and one way. "I've got to get back for supper. Do you want to go to the movies with me on Friday?" "At night? I have to ask my mom. Can I call you tonight after I ask her?" "Okay. If she says no, ask her about the matinee on Saturday." ------- Chapter 34 Right after supper, Monday night, the phone rang. I had my hands full of dinnerware that I was taking to the kitchen, so my mom answered the phone. "Larry, it's for you." I assumed that it was Clara calling back to let me know about whether she could go with me to the movies Friday night. "Hello." "Larry, it's Denise. Can you talk?" "For a little while. Kate and I need to clean up the dining table and do the dishes." "I meant can anyone hear you?" "No, I can talk." "My parents are leaving Saturday to go visit my brother in Terre Haute." Denise had an older brother who went to Indiana State University. "They'll be gone all weekend, if you want to come over here." "Is Karen coming?" "No. It will just be Trudie and me, and Trudie says she doesn't want to do anything with you. She says you're too big, and she is still sore from the other time. Hold on a minute." I heard Denise talking to someone in the background, I hoped it was only Trudie. Denise came back on the line. "Larry, Trudie wants to say hi to you." "Larry?" "Hi Trudie." "I didn't say what Denise just told you. I said probably. She just wants to keep you all to herself. Did your mom tell you I won a scholarship to the studio? I get all free lessons! Isn't that neat? Agnes said I could start coming three or four times a week now, and it won't cost anything." "I heard. Agnes says you have the most potential of any of her advanced students. She thinks you can be a professional ballerina. Agnes doesn't say those kinds of things about any of the other dancers." "I'm not even as good as any of those other three that were at the lesson today." "You aren't even twelve yet, Trudie. The others have been in dance training for a whole lot longer. By the time you are as old as them, you'll be way better than they are." "I hope you're right. Are you coming over here on Saturday?" I still needed to talk to Clara before I knew about Saturday. I was already planning on seeing if Karen could come to Agnes's apartment alone on Sunday. This could work out really well if everything would fall into place perfectly. Clara, on Friday night, Denise, on Saturday, and Karen on Sunday. It had the potential to be a real full weekend. "I'll be over sometime on Saturday, but I might need to do something in the early afternoon before I can come over." "I might be over being sore by then. My birthday is Thursday. Will you give me twelve kisses on Saturday?" "Sure. Anyplace you want them too." Trudie giggled. Right after, Denise was on the phone. I told her the same thing I'd told Trudie, about maybe needing to do something on Saturday, in the early afternoon. She told me that she hoped I could spend the whole day with her. After we hung up, I went back to the kitchen to help Kate. She started asking me questions about who was on the phone. "Just a girl from school. She wanted to ask me some questions about a test we've got coming up on Wednesday." "That's funny, Larry. I could have sworn you said she wasn't even twelve yet, and called her Trudie." "Well, I did say that. Denise is the one who called me. It was her sister, Trudie, that cut in on the phone because she wanted to tell me that Aunt Agnes gave her a scholarship today. Why are you paying so much attention to who I'm talking to on the phone, anyway?" "I wasn't paying attention. I just heard you talking, and I was curious. Why are you worried about it, if you didn't do anything bad? Guilty conscience?" "Let's just finish these dishes. I've still got to study for that test. The one Denise called me about." I was in my bedroom after, studying like I had told Kate I was going to be, when the phone rang. I heard Kate pick it up in the hallway. She didn't come get me, so I just assumed it was either for her or one of my parents. After about half an hour, Kate told me the call was for me. That's when I knew it was Clara calling. "Hello Clara." "Hello. I asked my mom, and I can go on Friday. Would you be mad if Kate went with us? She says she hasn't been anywhere in a long time. She promises to sit somewhere away from us, if you'll take her." "I was hoping we could treat this like a real date, Clara. If we let Kate tag along, it won't be the same." "Larry, I told my mom that Kate would probably go with us. I didn't think she'd let me go if it was going to be just with you. You shouldn't have told her that we were going to do it soon. Do you still want to go to the Saturday matinee with me if my mom says no about Friday?" "No, let's just take Kate with us on Friday. I guess it won't be that bad if she sits by herself. After the movie though, we drop her off at my house first, and then I'll walk you home, okay?" "Okay. Can you put Kate back on the phone so I can tell her?" "I better go ask my mom first, in case they won't let her go with us. Hold on for a minute, okay?" I went into the living room and asked my mother if it was all right to take Kate to the movies on Friday. "You will be responsible for her, Larry?" "Sure, mama, like always. She isn't going to get in any trouble while I'm right there with her." "You won't either, if she's right there?" "It's a movie, that's all. We'll watch the movie and then all come home. After that, I'll walk Clara home." "You can take her if you will be responsible for her. Larry, your papa and I trust you with Kate. We expect you to always respect our trust." I nodded that I understood. In a way it was funny. Clara and Kate did all sorts of things behind Kate's locked bedroom door, but my mother was afraid she'd get into mischief at a public movie theater. I went back to the phone. "We're all set from here." "Good. Put Kate on because I want to tell her the good news." I went over and knocked on Kate's door, telling her that Clara wanted to talk to her. I went back to my room and cracked open my Biology text. Fifteen minutes later Kate knocked on my door. I told her to come in, and she opened my door and stuck her head inside. "Thanks for letting me go with you guys, Larry." "Come in for a minute, Kate, and shut the door behind you." I waited for her to do that. "I want to tell you that I hope you weren't planning on meeting someone at the movies. I promised mom that it wasn't going to happen. You'll sit next to me for this movie." "Why are you being like that? I don't want to sit next to you, watching you and Clara making out." "Don't look then. Watch the movie. I'm not going to have you going off with some boy when I'm supposed to be responsible for you." "Who said I was going to do that?" "Nobody had to say it. If you want to meet some boy there, go get mom's permission for it. If she tells me it's all right, I won't stand in your way. What I got permission for was you to go to the movies with Clara and I. I don't want you using me to get around them." "Maybe I will ask her someday. Not now though. I'll go to the movies Friday, just to be getting out of the house for a change. Just remember though, if you don't help me, I won't help you either." "I guess that's fair. I don't really need any help right now. I don't know why you think I'm not helping you. I didn't need to take you on Friday. I did it because Clara asked me to." "She didn't ask you to make me sit with you though. That's all your idea, isn't it?" "Kate, why do you keep doing this? People try to make things a little bit better for you, and you make them feel bad. Whatever we do, it never turns out to be enough for you. It makes us want to quit trying to help you. Have you ever once taken the trouble to thank mom for allowing Clara to come over here after school? You saw the way she had to fight with dad in order to get him to let her do it that way. She knows what you guys are doing, but she allows it anyway. For your sake, and for Clara's, so you two don't have to sneak around." "You never answered my question, Larry. It was all your idea that I sit next to you?" "Yes, it was all my idea. It was all my idea as soon as mom made me promise to make sure nothing happened while you were at the movies, and my responsibility. You aren't going to make me the bad guy here, Kate. The worst you can say is that I'm not allowing you to do something our parents wouldn't want you to be doing. If they found out that I couldn't be trusted to do what I promise them to do, they'll just quit letting me take you anywhere." "Did they tell you to not let me sit with a boy at the movie?" "Not in those words. Should I go ask mom if it would be all right?" "You know what she'll say!" "That's my point, Kate. You know it too. You're trying to use me to get around them. They know you're going to do that, so they make me promise not to let you. You keep trying to get me to go against my promises to them." "They never told you to not let me sit with a boy." "They said I was responsible to them for you. They expect me to use my judgment in deciding what they would or wouldn't allow." "If you let me sit by myself, you'd never have to know." "Does Clara know what you are planning?" "I don't know if she knows or not. I've been talking to her about something like this, but I needed to get out of the house first. Clara isn't going to do it with you unless someone is doing it with me too. She promised me." "Doing it like kissing at the movies, or doing it like screwing?" "Both." "We'll just see about that. If she told you that, it means she cares more for you than she does for me. I'm not taking her anywhere if that's the case. I never cared what you two did together, especially now that mom has said it's okay. I won't let Clara use me to help you do something I don't want you doing. I don't want you fooling around with boys yet, and neither does mom or dad." "Why should you care?" "I care. Because I love you, and I don't want you making the kind of mistake that can really hurt you." "You can't stop me. I don't even need your help." She turned around and left my room. This time, she remembered not to slam my door. I looked at my door, trying to process all that she had told me. It was a little before eight o'clock when I looked at my watch. I went out in the hallway and dialed Clara's number. She answered the phone after only one ring. "Clara, what is going on with you and Kate?" "Nothing, what do you mean?" "She claims that you made her some promises to her, about the movies, and about doing things with me." "What promises?" "She said you weren't going to let me do anything with you at the movies, unless some boy did them to her too." "That isn't what I said." "She also said you promised not to do it with me unless someone was doing it to her at the same time." "I tried to tell you about that earlier. I told you that was before you told me you loved me." "I told Kate she had to sit next to me at the movies. That was because my mom made me responsible for her there. That's when she told me about the promise you had made to her." "Keith can sit on her other side. You can pay all your attention to me, I'm your date. It won't hurt anything for Kate to kiss him." "I feel like you and Kate are both trying to use me. I don't like it if you are." "I don't see it that way. Why do you have to make it seem like we're doing that? Kate wants to have a good time, and so do we." "I don't think this is something I want to argue about with either of you anymore. Kate is my responsibility, and I'm not going to let her do whatever she wants to do. I also don't appreciate you trying to help her get around my parents and me." You don't understand. It isn't like that. It's going to happen to Kate anyway." "I'm sure it is, but not with my help. I don't want anything more to do with this. I'm not taking Kate with us on Friday. Ask your mom if you can still go." "No. She won't let me go with you alone. If Kate isn't with us, I can't go." "She's not coming with us." "Should I ask my mom about Saturday?" "I don't think so. I need to think about this whole thing. Kate doesn't need you helping her to get in trouble. She gets in enough on her own." "That isn't what I was trying to do, Larry. I already told you what she wants to do. I don't want to be with anyone else besides you." "You don't have to do what Kate tells you to. Just tell her no. We already had this conversation at the lake, remember. It was you telling that to me then. Don't use Kate as an excuse for something you want." "I'm not using her for anything. I don't like having you say that to me either. If it is so bad for Kate, then why do you want to do it with me? Aren't you being a hypocrite?" I had to take a minute to think about what I wanted to say to her. She was a year older than Kate, but that wasn't it. Trudie was half a year younger than Kate, and I did it to her. Trudie wasn't my sister, Clara wasn't either. Was that the only thing different? I wondered how I'd feel if Clara went with someone else? Bad, real bad. I was being a hypocrite, doing things that I wanted to do, and not being willing to let others do the same. At least, not the others that I cared about. I asked myself how I'd feel if Karen or Denise did it with someone else. I wouldn't like that either. It wouldn't be as hard on me, but it wouldn't be something I would enjoy knowing. Even Trudie, now that we'd done something together, I'd be a little bit jealous about. "I may be a hypocrite. So what if I am? It doesn't change how I feel about what is happening. I don't want Kate doing things with boys. I don't want you to do that either with any one other than me." "It's all right for you, but not for me? Not for Kate?" "You know what? Do what you want. Just leave Kate out of it. Me too." Then, trying to make sure I was being a complete and utter idiot, I hung up on her. I went into my bedroom then, and tried to make any sense out of what I'd just done. I was giving myself a good talking to, all the while, listening with half an ear to see if the phone would ring. I entertained this fantasy about Clara calling me back to say that she was sorry. By the time my mother came by to tell me it was time to go to sleep, reality had set in. Already I was afraid that the way I had spoken to Clara might have upset her enough to make her do something stupid. I was thinking another suicide attempt at first. It was only later, after I was in bed and trying to sleep, that I thought of other things she might do to get back at me. I didn't get to sleep until it was very late. The next morning I asked my mother if I couldn't skip coming to the studio after school. I pleaded that I really needed to study for a test the next day. She gave me permission. I didn't say anything about this to Kate when I walked her to her school. I didn't mention the later phone conversation with Clara either. At school, I wasn't paying that much attention to any of the people around me. At lunch, I ate with Karen, but I told her I was concerned about the Biology test. We spent most of the lunch period going over the chapters that the test would be on. When the first bell rang, Karen asked me if I was going to be at my aunt's apartment on Sunday. I told her that my aunt had been upset because she found out that there was more than one girl there. I told her I was going to try to see if she'd let me have one girl again, if I promised not to have more than that. "Which one?" "You, if you can make it there." "I can tell them I'm going over to see Denise. Denise is coming over to my house after school today to study with me. Is it all right if I tell her that I'm really going to be with you?" "I guess so. She and Trudie invited me over to their house on Saturday." "Are you going? They didn't invite me yet." "Probably because they already guessed I'd ask you for Sunday. Three is too many. But Trudie is sore, and she probably won't do anything. I like it better with only one." "I do too. Did you get upset when you saw what Denise and I did?" She had looked all around us and asked that in a whisper. I had been watching as well before I spoke of any of this. "No, it was great. Do you guys do that a lot?" "No. Denise is the one who showed me about it first, over at her house when I was there for a sleepover. We had only done that a few times before Sunday. We only do that with each other. At least I only did before Sunday. Denise said she hadn't done it before, but another girl did it to her." "I think it looks really good. I like doing that to girls too. I don't think Trudie was expecting to like it as much as she did." "We better quit talking about it. I really need to study for that test tonight." Karen giggled when she said it, but I could tell she was a little aroused and a little embarrassed about it too. For a few minutes, our conversation had taken my mind off of my problems with Clara and Kate. I was starting to conclude that they were a team in this conflict. As much as Clara wanted to make me think she was just going along with Kate, my suspicions were making me think otherwise. That was one of the reasons I wanted to come home real early today. I wanted to catch them if they were doing anything they weren't supposed to be doing. Like sneaking boys into Kate's bedroom. After school, I ran home, stopping only once to rest, when I got a sharp pain in my side. When I got to my house, I went around the side until I was in back next to Kate's bedroom window. I didn't hear either of them talking in there. Kate and Clara got out of school fifteen minutes before I did, and their walk home was about five minutes shorter. Even walking slow, they should have gotten here fifteen minutes before I did. I went around to the front of the house and tried the front door. It was locked. I used my key and went inside. I relocked the door behind me. I was in my bedroom studying, forty five minutes later, when Kate and Clara finally showed up. They were both laughing and talking to each other about getting back so late, and having to be more careful about that in the future. When I walked out to the living room, both of them froze. "Go home, Clara. I need to speak with Kate in private." I was angry, and I sounded like it too. For once, Kate didn't argue with me. Clara threw her coat back on, gathered up her book and left. I waited until she was out the door before turning my attention to Kate. "Where have you been?" "Nowhere, we just stopped to talk. About you mostly. You were mean to Clara on the phone." "You're lying, Kate. Where were you?" "I told you where we were. Why are you making such a big deal of this?" "Either tell me, or explain it to mom after I tell her what I know, and what I think." "First tell me what you know." "That you've been trying to get Clara to screw another boy while you're screwing Keith." Kate's mouth dropped open when I mentioned Keith by name. "I think that's what you did today." "We didn't! Why would Clara tell you about that? All we did was go to Keith's house, with him and Leon. We certainly didn't do it with them. We didn't hardly do anything." "Not good enough, Kate. If you don't want to be honest with me, I'll just let mom try to get the truth out of you." "I am being honest. We went over to Keith's house. We've been there a few other times. We let them kiss us, that's all. They don't even know how to do anything else. That's why Clara and I were both laughing before." "You are supposed to come right home from school. Is this what you meant when you promised to be good, and to obey the rules mom and dad gave you?" "We didn't do anything bad." "Maybe not by your standards, but you did by mine, and I'll bet by mom's too. I don't want Clara coming over here for the rest of this month. You come straight home from school too. Either that, or else I tell mom what you've been up to." "That's two weeks, Larry! How about for the rest of the week?" "How about forever, and I'm serious? I don't care anymore about what Clara does. That's her business now, not mine. What you do is my business still, and you better start understanding and believing me when I tell you that." "Can I call Clara first, to tell her?" "The rest of the month. If you try to cheat, I'll make sure she's never welcome here again." I went back into my bedroom and shut my door. I guess Kate went to the phone to call Clara, but I never checked. Fifteen minutes later, Kate knocked on my door. When I told her to come in, she told me that Clara wanted to talk to me. I told her to tell Clara that I was very mad at her right then and didn't want to say something that we'd both regret. "Tell her I'll talk to her next month, if she still wants to talk to me." Kate left, presumably to deliver my message to Clara. I went back to studying. Inside, I was seething with jealousy over Clara, and worry over what Kate was doing. I felt betrayed by both of them. I was willing to give up Clara, but I couldn't do that with Kate. Why did she have to keep pushing things? When I was her age, I wasn't like that. I was in over my head with this. Even my mother had said that girls were quicker to mature than boys were. I didn't question that Kate wanted to do things, but I still didn't think she should yet. I felt like I was trying to hold back the sun from rising though. That night, at the dinner table, I almost said something to my parents two different times. It would have just been me whining about not wanting to be responsible for Kate any more, and that would have led to a discussion I didn't want to have. I couldn't explain why without mentioning the things that had happened between Kate, Clara and me. I must have looked uncomfortable, because my mother asked me a question. "Laurant, you aren't eating very much tonight, and you are so quiet. Is something wrong?" My father looked up from his plate and stared over at me. Kate kept her head down and sliced up the meat on her plate. I looked at my mother and tried to smile brightly. I don't think I quite pulled it off. "I'm just worried about this test tomorrow. I haven't had enough time to study for it. I was pretty tired from the weekend, and then all those mats yesterday too." "I thought you looked tired last night too. I wonder if you aren't coming down with something? Josef, I warned you not to make him do so much. He is only fourteen." "I was fourteen, I worked all day after school. You coddle him, Elza. How is he supposed to grow into being a man?" "You want him to be a man at fourteen? Maybe on a farm that is a good thing. We don't live on a farm, let him stay a boy for awhile longer. He will be a man soon enough. Too soon." "Never if you have your way! I let you decide about Katinka, but I will decide for my son." "Mama, papa is right. I wasn't complaining. You asked why I wasn't as hungry tonight? I'm worried about my test. By tomorrow, it will all be over, and you will wonder again about why I eat so much." My father nodded, satisfied with my answer, finally. He was right about it too. I did need to start growing up. I wasn't a little boy, and I needed to handle the problems that I could handle. Kate was one that I could handle, so far. I also knew my mother wouldn't object to my not coming over to help her at the studio for awhile. At least until this situation with Kate was resolved. ------- Chapter 35 Wednesday morning I once again asked my mother if I could be excused from helping her at the studio after school. When she agreed, I told Kate that I'd be home as soon after school as I could be. She said she would be at home. She even thanked me for not saying anything to my parents about the situation with Keith and Leon. "Is it all right if Clara and I talk on the telephone?" "I guess. I just don't want her coming over to the house for awhile." "This isn't her fault, Larry. She told me the whole time that we shouldn't be doing it. She's so upset that you're blaming her." "I'm not blaming her. At least not for what she did herself. I blame her for going along with you, and for taking advantage of mom. Especially when mom had to make herself have a big fight with dad in order to get permission for you two to hang around together at our house. I can understand that from you, because that's how you are, ungrateful. I thought Clara was different." "I'm not ungrateful. It isn't ungrateful to want more." "It is when wanting more makes you abuse the trust of the people who bent over backwards to at least give you something. I don't expect you to see that though. You don't have that ability. All you care about is what you want." "You like to pretend you're so different, but I don't see you stopping from doing stuff, just because mom or dad doesn't approve." "Am I twelve? When you're fourteen, you can do what I'm doing now. You can already do more than I did at twelve. Even now, I can't bring some girl over to the house, lock my door, and do things with her like you do." "You could if you wanted to. I wouldn't say anything to anyone about it. You've done things with Clara in your room, and I didn't try to get you in trouble for it." "I still say you have to wait. If you don't wait, and I find out about it, I'll tell mom. She can do whatever she wants about it. I'm not warning you anymore. The next time, it's straight to mom." We got to her school and I left her there. I saw Clara standing about fifty feet away, but I didn't wave to her. I swear her breasts had grown again. Seeing her like that, brought my anger and jealousy back again. I could picture her kissing some boy. I kept walking, telling myself not to get my mind screwed up worrying about her. I really was worried now about that damned Biology test. I'd been saying it so often, that it had come true. The test itself wasn't that difficult. When I was finished taking it, I wondered what I'd been worried about. At lunch time Karen was asking me whether I'd spoken with my aunt about Sunday. I told her that I'd be talking to her on Thursday night, when Kate and I went to our evening dance class. "I talked to Denise. She and Trudie are going to be home on Sunday. She said you can come there again on Sunday if you want to. I'd rather we were alone though." "I'll let you know for sure on Friday, but I'm pretty sure she's going to let me. How are things with your parents? Any better?" "Actually, they are. I told you, they like Denise? Since she and I got to be friends again, they think things are getting back to how they used to be. I wouldn't want to see what they'd say if I asked them if I could go on a date with a boy though." "Especially me." Karen laughed at that. "Maybe I should ask them if it would be all right to go to your aunt's on Sunday. I bet my father would just love that. You know what my mother asked me? She asked if doing it with you had made me get some more urges. I think she wanted to know if I get hot when I remember it." "What did you tell her?" "That it hurt, and I didn't want to get into more trouble." "Did it hurt you that much?" "Just for a minute. Then it hurt me later, when you took it out. It didn't hurt last Sunday." She looked around, again checking to make sure we weren't being overheard. "I hope we can do it for even longer this week. The more you do it, and the harder, the more I like it. Denise says it hurts her when you put it all the way in. That's when I like it the best." "Well, I'll try not to disappoint you. We can probably do it three times if we're all alone." "You're going to lick me too, right?" "If you suck me." "I want to try it. Denise said it wasn't too bad. Even Trudie said she didn't mind it that time with Tommy." I hurried home again after school. When I got there, Kate was already in her room. When she heard me come in, she came out and handed me three pages of notebook paper, all folded into a tight square. "What's this?" "From Clara. She wanted to explain things." I handed the pages back to her. I hadn't even unfolded them. "It doesn't matter. I don't want her to explain. She doesn't have to explain anything. Her sneaking around with you already explains everything to me. She probably things she had a good reason, but I don't care what it was. Unless she's saying it never happened, that you lied about her being there with you those times. Anything else wouldn't matter." "How long are you going to be mad at her?" "Until I'm not. Don't ask me how long that is, because I have no idea." "Don't get mad, okay? There is a question she begged me to ask you. I told her I would. Do you still love her?" "Tell her she can ask me that question herself, when I'm talking to her again." "Larry, if you do still love her, you should tell her. She already told me that she wasn't ever coming back here unless you forgave her, and told her she could come back. It's in her note too. I read it while I was waiting for you to get home. There's something else in it too." That was when Kate started bawling, and ran into her room. Before she left though, she threw the note down on the floor between us. I knew she meant that Clara had written something in the note that was about her. I bent over and picked it up and walked into my room. Dear Larry, I know that you are mad at me, and I guess you should be. I don't even know why I went over to Keith's house with Kate and Leon. I don't like Leon, and I didn't want to kiss him or let him touch me. But I did. I'm sorry. I don't know whether you still can love me after this. I hope you can, because I still love you. That won't ever change. If I could, I'd take it all back, the things that I did with Leon, and I also did some stuff with Keith as well. Just kissing. Except once he put his hand on my leg and tried to feel me up on my pussy. I didn't let him. I did let Leon do that, but only once, and only for a minute. I touched his dick too, but it wasn't for long and it wasn't big like yours is. You know how much I love Kate, a lot, a whole lot. But, not as much as I love you. I think about you all the time. When I'm in school and when I'm at home. Even when we were over at Keith's I thought about you. I know you won't believe me after what I've written to you about what I've done, but I do love you more than anything or anyone else. Anyone! If I need to make a choice between Kate and you, Larry, I choose you. If you will just tell me that you still love me, I promise I will do anything you tell me to do, even if you tell me to never be friends with Kate again. I hope you won't ask me to do that. I'm begging you not to do that, but I will if you decide that is what you need me to do in order for you to still love me. I'm not going to even ask you to stop being mad at me yet. I hope someday you will stop, but as long as you still love me, that is all I'll ask from you. You can do anything, as long as you still say you love me. I know you are mad. I am mad at myself. I know it wasn't right to do that. I feel bad. I don't feel bad about anything that you did after. I don't mind staying away from your house for as long as you want me to. I just want to hear that I didn't completely mess things up with us. If you love me, even just a little tiny bit, please tell Kate to tell me that you do. If you do that, I will wait until you call me to tell me it is okay to come over to see you again. I hope to see Kate too, but like I already said, it is you I am most concerned about seeing. Kate, if you are reading this, you promised me you wouldn't, so if this hurts your feelings, that's just too bad. I told you before that I didn't want to do anything to make Larry stop loving me. I'm not saying it wasn't my fault too, because it was. You knew this might happen, but you still kept after me to keep going over there. Larry, please decide soon whether you love me or not. I love you, Clara XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO There were two pages of nothing but X's and O's which meant hugs and kisses. I wasn't moved by her letter. I sure didn't like reading that she had done those things with two different boys. There was something about her letter that I did respond to, and that was her offer to give up Kate. I sure didn't want that to happen. At the same time, I was glad she had written that, and more glad that Kate had followed her usual pattern, and gone ahead and broken her promise not to read it. Clara was so important to her. For her to find out that her activities had once again possibly caused her to lose that friendship, that love, this was important. To Kate, much more than to me. The next question I had to ask myself, was how did I feel about Clara. Not whether or not I loved her. I already knew that I did still love her. Was I willing to forgive her for sneaking around with Kate? For participating with Kate after she knew I loved her. For doing to me what I'd been doing to her all along? I'd already admitted to her about my being a hypocrite about things like this. Admitted it to myself as well. Strangely, knowing it had already happened, that Clara had done some of the things I'd worried about, was less upsetting to me than worrying about it had been. I tried to put it all into perspective, to find some strategy which allowed me to benefit the most from it. With Kate, with Clara, and with my own sense of right and wrong. If I could forgive her, didn't that make what I was doing, somehow less wrong? Would just forgiving her even work? Sooner or later, she was going to engage me in another conversation about my own activities with these other girls. Would I be willing to even open it up for discussion? I didn't even trust myself to open that kind of inquiry into my own thoughts. I didn't want to have to try to talk myself out of what I was doing. I considered my situation with those girls to be a very good thing. No, I wasn't going to negotiate with anyone about that. It would have to be sacrosanct, a non-negotiable given. Was it really take it or leave it? I would be willing to promise no new girls. Maybe not, though. That covered far too many possibilities. I'd leave it all as something I wouldn't discuss or negotiate. Next, I had to decide on what Clara could do in the future. That was something we might as well address right away. To me, Kate should have been enough for her. If not, then the two of us. Kate for her afternoons, and then me, for whenever we could get together. She and Kate were now, and Clara and I were mostly in the future. If that wasn't enough for her, I could always spend a little more time with her right away. Mostly on the weekdays, although I wouldn't mind dating her once on the weekends too. I had already decided not to take her to Agnes's apartment, ever. So, I loved her, I was willing to forgive her, I wouldn't allow her to put my own behavior up for question. If she needed more male attention, she could get it from me. It seemed fair to me, but I figured I was forgetting something. Ah yes, Kate. I needed to speak with her and find out where she now stood in all of this. At first glance, you'd have to assume that Kate would be the one most anxious for me to forgive Clara. Especially since her own friendship with Clara was dependent on my first forgiving her friend. Even at fourteen, I already knew that Clara's offer to give up Kate wasn't really a sincere one. I was counting on Kate not knowing that yet, or at least on her having some doubts. I went to her bedroom and knocked on her door. "Go away. You got what you wanted. Leave me alone." "Kate, I need to talk to you. Part of my decision depends on what you tell me." I tried her door, and it was unlocked. If she really didn't want to talk to me, her door would have been locked. I opened it. "Clara knew you would read her note. I also doubt if she was really serious about giving you up if I asked her to. She knew I'd never ask her for that." "She meant it. I know her better than you do. I did think that you wouldn't ask her to do that though. No matter how mad you got at us." "My problem is that I can't trust her without being able to trust you too. You've already proven that you can't be trusted." "I can so! On lots of things. Maybe not about boys, but most of the rest, I can be trusted." "Why is it so important to you that you get to do things with boys right now? Why won't you just wait awhile?" "I am waiting. I've been waiting for two years. That's the problem. The longer I have to wait, the more I don't want to wait any more. If it wasn't for Clara, I couldn't have waited this long. You think it's so simple, because you only had to wait a month or two before you got to do it with a girl. How long could you wait for the next time if you absolutely had to?" "I could wait if I had to. I don't have to because I'm old enough to do it. One of the things I'm starting to believe is that you aren't going to wait no matter what we all tell you. That is going to make a big mess. It already has made a couple messes. The one I'm concerned with right now is you and Clara. I don't see how I can forgive her when I know you two are going to continue doing what you want the two of you to do. Clara is going to follow where you lead." "She won't if you don't forgive her. So, that's what you're going to do. You want to know why she helps me? Why she takes a chance on us getting caught going over to Keith's like we did? Because she is afraid that I'll get you to do it to me, if somebody else doesn't do it first. She knows you love me better than her too." "I never would, Kate. If she knows me at all, she should know that. Why does she think that? Did you tell her things that aren't true about us?" "I didn't have to. Who did you show your dick to first? Me. You ate my carrot, not hers. You never even asked her if she had one. You wanted mine. We both think that you're going to do it to me. Clara doesn't want that." "You think it too then? Because I'm not going to. I'd let you do it with a hundred guys before I'd do it to you." "I don't need a hundred. Only one. And, I never said I wanted it to be you. That's Clara's worry. I think I could get you to do it to me, but that isn't what I really want." "That's good, because you are wrong. I'm going to call Clara right now and tell her that I still love her. After that, I'm going to tell her to stay away from you until I tell her it's all right to be your friend again. I'm not going to tell her that she can be friends with you again until I find some way to convince you to stop pushing for what you want. Stop pushing me Kate, stop pushing Clara, and stop pushing yourself." I backed up and closed her door again. It hadn't gone the way I had hoped it would. It seldom did with Kate, unless you were giving her what she wanted. Anything less, and this is what happened. A stand off. I was going to call Clara, and give Kate part of what she wanted. If I didn't call, in a few days, Kate would have Clara convinced that I'd never loved her in the first place. This way, I'd be the one to have Clara's ear, not Kate. I'd have to see what I could do with that. At least, I believed I could buy myself some time. I dialed Clara's number. "Hello?" "Clara. This is Larry. I got your note. I just wanted you to know that I still love you." "Really? I'm sorry, Larry. I wish I hadn't done any of that." "Clara, we can talk about that later, after all of this gets cleared up. Right now, I need to ask you to do something. I want you to stop being friends with Kate." "Really? I didn't think you would really ask me to do that." "Well, I am. Not forever, but at least until I tell you it's all right again." "What about the other thing? You know how I get weak. How long will it be?" "I don't know. That is mostly up to Kate. I don't like to ask you to do this, but you offered, and I don't really have any other choice. Will you do it, or didn't you mean those things in your note?" "No, I meant it all. I'll do it. Will I be able to see you?" "Not until this is all over. Kate needs to learn that she is going to lose something that's important to her every time she trys to get more than she is allowed to have." "What do I learn?" "I hope you learn to not follow people into situations where you wind up getting hurt too." "What do you learn?" "That it really hurts when people you love let you down. I'm going to try not to let you down either. That's what I'd be doing if I just ignored what has happened. When this is all over, we'll have a talk about everything. Including what we both expect from each other. I'm not sure I can give you everything you're going to want from me. I do promise that I'll tell you what I can and can't do." "Try to make it get finished soon, Larry. I miss both of you." "Kate did read your note, you know?" "I wanted her to. I wanted her to know how it feels to lose the most important things. Also, I wanted her to know how I felt about you. She thinks that she's the most important one to both of us." "She said something like that. She also said that you're afraid I'll want to screw her, and that's why you help her." "Sometimes it seems that way. Do you?" "I never would. That carrot thing was just a joke. I wish I'd done it with you that time when we were all ready to do it. It might have ended this before It got to be like it is." "I wish that too. Especially now. I'm not sure we ever will now." "I am. You and I will be doing it before too much more time goes by. You don't even have to worry about that." ------- Chapter 36 Friday came, and I was starting to feel lonely. Kate had withdrawn into her own little cocoon ever since our conversation on Wednesday. My mother questioned me about it that Friday morning, after she didn't receive any answers from Kate when she had asked about her being so quiet earlier. I answered her. "Kate and Clara had a fight. It's going to be all right eventually." Of course, Kate picked just that second to join us in the kitchen. "It isn't going to be all right! You made her not like me!" She turned right around and went straight back to her room. "Is this true Laurant? Did you do something to hurt their friendship?" My mother looked concerned. It wasn't like Kate and I fought all of the time, but we did fight once in awhile. The way Kate made it sound, it was like she and I were fighting, and I had undermined her friendship with Clara, as a part of that fight. My mother had that 'I'm going to get right to the bottom of this' look. I better give her enough to sink her teeth into, is what I was thinking. "Kate broke one of the rules that I gave her, and now I'm not taking her to the movies tonight with Clara and I. Clara still wants to go without her. She's just mad about that." My mother smiled, understanding now that this is how Kate always reacted in order to try and get people to change their minds and allow her to get her own way. She patted me on my shoulder, showing both her understanding and her support. She said nothing else about it. Now, I had to go over to see Clara. I spoke to Denise in school, telling her again that I'd be over to her house as soon as my father finished working me for three hours, as part of my punishment chores. She complainingly told me that Trudie had fully recovered from her soreness and would probably be wanting me to do things with her too. At lunch, I told Karen that I'd be at my aunt's apartment at one o'clock. She promised that she would be there at around that time too. She told me not to do too much over at Denise's on Saturday, because she had been thinking about us doing things all week. When I got home Friday, Kate was in her room, and the door was locked. I knocked on her door, but she told me to go away. I went and got the ice pick from the kitchen and came back and used it to unlock her door. I wanted Kate to know that she couldn't sneak anyone into her room without me finding out about it. When I opened up the door, she was on her bed, alone, reading one of her school books. I came in and looked in her closet and under her bed, just to make sure. Of course, Kate got really angry and upset when I did this. I had known that she would be mad. I wanted her that way. "I'm telling when mom gets home! You're going to be in so much trouble." "I'll just tell her I was looking for Keith and Leon." That shut her right up, as I had known it would. I went back out of her room and went into my own. I shut her door carefully when I left. She waited only five minutes before she came barging into my room. I hadn't locked my door, mostly because I seldom did anyway. "How do you like it when someone invades your room, Larry?" "I'd prefer that you knock first, like I did." "What did you tell mom this morning? After I left." "I told her you had broken one of my rules and I wasn't taking you to the movies tonight. I told her that you and Clara were fighting because Clara still wanted to go with me." "That was a lie." "I didn't want you to get into trouble. You can tell her the truth if my lying offends you so much." "You change the rules for yourself whenever it's convenient. Are you taking Clara to the movies tonight?" "She can't go without someone else there with her besides me." "You could take me. I'd be good and do what you tell me to." "Kate, do you deliberately not understand what I'm telling you?" "I was just trying to help." "Help me, or you?" "Both of us." "You need to learn your lesson. The longer it takes you, the more likely that Clara isn't going to continue being your friend." "I can make other friends. Clara isn't the only girl who likes to play." "No, I'm sure you're right. She is the only one who mom said could come over and visit with you after school though." "I'll just tell mom I have a new friend. She will let me." "Go ahead. I'd be interested in seeing what happens. I bet it won't turn out the way you hope." Kate looked at me with a look of pure frustration on her face. I sometimes forget how young she is, and how easy it is to read her emotions on her face. She turned around and went back to her own room, leaving my bedroom door wide open. A few minutes later she came out of her room and went into the living room or kitchen. I saw her pass by my door, then she turned back and waved a carrot at me, smiling. "See, I found a new friend to play with." She went into her room and shut the door. I didn't hear her lock it, but there was no way I was ever going to walk into that particular trap. I got up and shut and locked my door. I went to my radio and turned it on. I found my new Heinlein book, and started reading it. Kate started knocking on my door fifteen minutes later. "Larry, open up. I've got something for you." "I'm not hungry." She laughed. "How did you know that's what it was?" "I know how your mind works. I bet you were thinking about doing this the whole time you were busy in your bedroom." "I always think of you when I do that. Did you know that? I used to pretend it was you, until I saw you hard. If you're sure you aren't hungry, I guess I'll take it back into my room again. Would you come stand by my door and watch me?" When she asked me to come watch her, there was something different in her voice. I couldn't tell what it was. I thought it was a combination of a lot of things. The one thing I knew I recognized in her voice, was hope. "I better not, Kate. I don't want what you think I do." "I know you don't. I want it though. If you watched, it would make it so much better for me." I could take ten minutes explaining all of the reasons why we both knew it wasn't a good idea. I loved Kate, and the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her. I also knew that this was just another example of her trying to corrupt me, in order to get me to bend to her will. Kate had a streak of pure willfulness to her. She was willing to go to almost any lengths to get what she wanted. I didn't know if it was me she wanted, or to use sex as a means of controlling me, so that she would have greater freedom. I'm not going to lie, there was a large part of me that wanted to go see her put on a show. In fact, I had my hand right on that large part, squeezing it into submission. "Sorry, Kate. I'm really not interested in that sort of thing with you." I hoped that my voice sounded normal to her, even though it had sounded strained to me. "I know you're lying, Larry. Just come and stand at my door and watch me play with my carrot. I bet you're afraid to. Afraid you'll get all excited and rape me. I wouldn't tell anyone if you did, Larry. I wish you would." "Kate, stop doing that. It just makes you sound like a cheap slut." I heard her leave and go back into her room. I turned my radio off later, and I could hear her crying. I wanted to go to her door and try to talk to her. To tell her I only said that to make her quit trying to tempt me. I wanted to, but I knew she would be encouraged if I did that. I didn't want to encourage her, not in this. I had realized, almost from the first time I started being interested in girls, that my love for Kate included an element that also made her sexually attractive to me. I didn't want to exploit that attraction. The fact that she was telling me that she wanted me to do things with her, only made it that much more dangerous. This was fast becoming something I needed help and advice with. The only person I trusted enough to discuss this with was Clara. Clara knew Kate a lot better than I did. They told each other everything. The problem was that I didn't really know Clara that well, and we were now in the middle of our little estrangement. I went out to the kitchen and dialed her number. "Hello?" "Hi Clara. I need to speak to you about something that just came up with Kate. Can I come over there?" "My mom's home. You still want to come here?" "Yeah. I really need to ask your advice about something important." "Are you coming right away? I need to change if you are." "I can be there in five minutes. Is that long enough for you?" "I might need a little more. Can you wait ten minutes before you walk over here?" "Sure. I'll see you then." I hung up and went to Kate's door. "Kate, I'm going over to see Clara about something. When mom gets home tell her where I am." I took off before Kate could come out and ask me any questions. I was afraid of her right then. Afraid to trust myself with being alone with her too. I went outside and walked as slow as I could over to Clara's house. When I rang the bell, Clara's mom answered. She didn't waste any time with any preliminaries. She just started in, bombarding me with questions about what was going on between the three of us. I didn't know how to stop her for long enough to tell her I wasn't going to answer any of her questions. Clara finally came in to rescue me. "Mom, stop it. Larry has something he needs to talk to me about." "I don't care about that. I want to know what's going on. Why have you been moping around the house? Why aren't you over at Kate's like you usually are? Why is Larry coming over here to talk to you?" "Mrs. Townsend, I'm here right now to try to find out something about Kate. The rest of your questions are really for you and Clara to talk about. I need to speak with her in private if I can?" "Can you tell me if Clara is in any danger for doing what she did before?" She was asking me, but Clara spoke up before I could say that was for her to answer, not me. "No. Larry and I are having some problems that are all my fault. This is only about Kate now though, that's what Larry told me on the phone. Can I take him to my room so we can talk?" "I don't think so. You two stay here. I'll go to my room. Don't worry, I will respect your privacy. Come knock on my door when you're finished talking. Larry, you behave yourself, and I mean it." She left and went to her room, shutting the door behind her. I sat on the sofa, and Clara sat close by, on the carpet right in front of me. She looked nice. I still felt close to her even though we were having problems. I tried to think about what I wanted to tell her, and about how I could ask her these questions about my own sister. "A few minutes ago, Kate said some things to me that have me feeling pretty nervous." "Things about me? I already told you everything that happened at Keith's. I didn't leave anything out." "No, that isn't it. She was saying some stuff about her wanting to do it with me, and almost inviting me to do it to her." "Did you?" "No! What do you think? It did kind of freak me out when she said that. That's why I needed to see you. To ask you about her. To me, this just came up all unexpected. I don't know if she was serious, or if she's trying to make me let her go out with boys. You know her better than anyone, what do you think?" "I know she's serious. She never told you this before?" "Never! You don't think it was that thing with the carrot that started this for her?" "Larry, I can't believe you didn't know. She's always been talking to me about you, since I've known her. To anyone she talks to. She and I both thought you were just pretending not to notice all the things she's tried to do to get you to notice her that way. She used to tell me things she did, like touching you, and you touching her, and her letting you see her without her clothes on." "She never touched me, not until that time in the movies when she put her head under your skirt. I've never touched her that way, never. The only time I've seen her without clothes was when she was with you." "That isn't what she's been telling me, for more than a year. I can't believe it isn't true. Why would she make it all up?" "I don't know. I know she hasn't been doing any of those things, except when you saw it. When she was little, she showed herself naked sometimes, but that was when she was five or six years old, and in front of the whole family. I'd know if she was touching me." "I thought you knew, because she was always telling me how close the two of you were to going too far." "Today was the first time she said something like that to me. I didn't believe it when she said it. I told her she was sounding like a cheap slut." "What did she say when you called her that?" "She went back to her room, and started crying. She was still crying when I left." "You need to go back to her, Larry. You can't leave her feeling so bad and all alone. She needs you there with her." "I can't. My mom will be home soon. She'll know what to do." "That's the last thing we want to do, Larry. Your mom will send her to Hungary if she finds out about any of this." "Clara, you go see her. I'm afraid to. I don't want to make it worse with her. Tell her I didn't mean what I said to her about acting like a slut. Tell her she has to quit saying those things or thinking them." "Are you sure? What about me not being friends with her?" "This is more important. Go see her and make her quit crying and feeling bad. Tell her I'm not mad, but she has to quit saying those kinds of things." Clara got up, got her coat out of the closet, and ran out her front door. She left me standing up in the living room, not knowing what to do. I finally decided to go knock on Mrs. Townsend's bedroom door. "We're done talking now Mrs. Townsend. Clara went over to my house to talk to Kate." She came out of her room just as I was finishing up telling her that. "Larry, what is going on? I really need to know. I'm worried about Clara." "Talk to Clara. Today it's about a problem with Kate. I have been fighting with Kate, and now, Kate needs her support." "That doesn't explain why Clara has been crying and is so upset." "You have to ask her about that. I wouldn't be worried though, because after today things will probably be better with Clara." "I shouldn't worry, but you aren't going to tell me what's been going on?" "It isn't my place to tell you any of Clara's business. I was worried about some stuff, but, now I'm not. Kate has been upset, but, I think, Clara can calm her down. Clara has been upset about her friends, Kate, and me too. If she decides to tell you about it, she will." "Are you having sex with Clara?" "Not yet. We've been waiting for the right time. Does it bother you when I tell you that? Clara said it did." "I worries me. You are both too young for anything that serious. On the other hand, I am more worried about Clara getting too fond of those things she does with your sister." "I told you that you didn't have to worry about that. They are both getting older, and they are both starting to think about more than just playing games with girls." "Larry, I don't want to hear about any of those things from you. I haven't tried to stop Clara from seeing you, in spite of the warnings you've given me. I haven't allowed my own fears to interfere with my mother's need to do what I think best for my daughter. My first concern is for Clara to make it to adulthood. I see already that she is no longer my innocent little girl. Since she has already experienced some of those things, I can't see any good reason to prevent her from seeing the other side too. I just don't want her suffering any consequences from any of this. Consequences like pregnancy. Am I being clear to you about that?" "I'm going to be using a rubber when it happens." "No more talk about any of this, Larry. Leave me alone right now. You always make me feel so old. You are bad for my ego." I left Clara's house and walked back to my own. When I went back to my room, I saw Clara and Kate hugging each other and noticed that they were both crying. The door was wide open, and they were both fully dressed. I went into my room and closed the door. Twenty minutes later, I heard my mother come in, and heard her laughing with Kate and Clara in the living room. A few minutes later, Kate came knocking at my door. I asked her to come in. "Can Clara stay for dinner tonight? Mom said it was all right with her." She looked like she was on the verge of crying again. "I don't mind. I wish you'd stop all this crying, Kate. I don't like making you cry." "I'm sorry, Larry. About those things I said earlier. I shouldn't have told you, because now you'll hate me for feeling that way." There were tears leaking down both sides of her face, but she didn't look down or turn her face away. She made no effort to wipe her tears away. She stood there, waiting for me to say something to make her tears go away. "I love you way too much to ever hate you, Kate. If you keep saying those things though, I might end up hating myself." I got up off of my bed and gave her my best brotherly hug. I took special care to make sure she couldn't feel my dick against her while we hugged. What had happened today was going to take me a long time to get used to. I was determined to say and do nothing to encourage her that way. "Go ask Clara to come see me for a minute. Make sure you keep mom from coming back here too." In less than a minute, Clara came to my door, looking a little uncertain and apprehensive. I pulled her inside my room and locked the door behind her. I kissed her, and pulled her in as close and tight to me as I could manage. She didn't resist. It was five minutes before we broke that kiss. For the last three minutes, we had been rubbing each others crotches while we kissed. "I hope you know that I love you, Clara. I don't want you ever thinking that just because something bad happens, that it automatically means I don't love you anymore. Things are going to happen, and we aren't going to agree about everything." "I won't do anything like that anymore, Larry." "We can't say things like that, because we don't really know. I was hoping that the things you do with Kate would be enough, plus what you and I can manage to do. I don't know how much longer I'm going to fool around myself, but I don't think it is going to be a whole lot longer. When I'm ready to settle down. I want it to be with you. I don't know when it will be, so I'm not going to ask you to not fool around if you want to. I will ask that you not go out with boys with Kate." "I don't want to go out with other boys. I want you. Are you saying that you are going to stop going with those other girls sometime, and then only go with me?" "That's what I'm planning on. I want to play for awhile too. Not for too long, and not with anyone that I'm going to love like I love you." "I'll wait, but you can't forget that I'm here now too." "Do you think I'm ever going to forget where my love is? I haven't so far." We shared another long kiss. When I was with Clara, no other girl seemed half as interesting, or even worth pursuing. When she wasn't around though, my thoughts changed very quickly. I hoped that was only due to my age, and my lack of experience. I certainly didn't want to live my life like that. ------- Chapter 37 After dinner, Kate, Clara and I stayed in the living room and played a game of Scrabble. We tried to use as many swear words and words with sexual meanings as possible. We finally had to quit when Kate claimed that PUZY was an accepted alternate spelling. It was a lot of fun just lying on the floor and playing a game together. At around nine, I walked Clara home. I felt more relaxed with her than I had before we had our problem. On my return trip home, I asked myself why this was. Why did I feel more relaxed now? The answer was obvious, if a little unexpected. We had worked together to try to make Kate feel better, and I had finally opened up to her a little bit about my own intentions regarding seeing those other girls. Clara had mentioned other girls before, but I had refused to speak of it with her. Now that I had told her what my intentions were, and she had accepted that, I didn't feel like I was attempting to deceive her anymore. I was still going to see other girls, but, I had now assured her that it wasn't going to be a permanent activity on my part. When I told her that, it had surprised me. Walking back home, I knew it had been true. Probably, it had always been true, but I hadn't wanted or needed to admit it. Karen and Denise were dalliance's to me. I was a dalliance to them as well. None of us had been that open or honest with each other. In the beginning, all three of us had spoken quite a bit about the feelings we had for each other. The more sexually involved we became, the more we spoke of, and emphasized our physical pleasures with each other. Once I found out that Denise and Karen did sex things to each other, some of their competition started to make a certain kind of sense to me. Clara and Kate had something like that going on as well. I enjoyed having sex, including having different partners. I had felt a sexual attraction to Eileen, but hadn't gone as far with her, mostly because I didn't think doing things with me would mean that much to her. She just wanted to do things. I got the impression that she wasn't that particular about who she did them with. Was I becoming like that? I knew the answer was yes, but, even so, I still wanted to have all those varied experiences. In fact, now I wanted to have sex with Eileen as well. Admitting exactly what I was doing, and what I wanted to do, was actually liberating for me. I liked kissing, touching, and I really liked the actual sex itself, whether it was me licking, them sucking, or actual screwing. It all felt good to me. It was exciting to think about too. Clara was different. I wanted to do all of those things with her too, but in addition to all of that, I wanted to protect her, and keep her separate from my other activities. She was the girl I wanted to play scrabble with, eat dinners at home with, sit around just holding hands and talking with. She was the only girl I could be satisfied to just kiss and hold hands with. As I walked home, a surprising revelation came to me. I was going to stop fooling around and playing with other girls as soon as I finally made love to Clara. From the moment that I first thought it, it made sense, and seemed fitting to me. The only drawback to this, at least that I could see, was that it probably would mean that I would try to delay when I actually first did do it with her. Making love to Clara would be a moment when I felt I was making an irreversible commitment. Even as I thought this, I knew I was already rushing too fast into something I wasn't emotionally mature enough to handle. Love doesn't wait for you to grow up enough to handle it. I loved Clara. She affected me in a way that no one else did. I felt as protective of her as I did of Kate. I could act on the love I felt for Clara, but not on what I felt for Kate. In some ways, what Kate and Clara did together made it easier for me to stay true to what I knew I must avoid. Back inside my house, I felt better. I smiled over at Kate while I put my coat back in the entry way closet. She smiled back. Spending the time with the three of us together, had calmed all of us down. We had gotten through a trying time, helping each other, and avoiding falling into some dangerous pitfalls. I felt like Kate and I could discuss what had happened now, while working to make sure we didn't come too near the edge of the incestuous relationship we both were imagining. I had no experience with discussing that with anyone. Denise had told me about Tommy Lampkin and his sister, Jane. It seemed to me that the whole subject of incest was so forbidden. Just to think about it was like begging for trouble. And yet. I couldn't deny that, maybe because it was so forbidden, it had a powerful attraction to me as well. Knowing that Kate had those same attractions only made it seem that much closer to being obtainable. I sat on the sofa and stared at the television. I noticed my mother and father were both missing from the living room area. "Where's mom and dad?" "In their bedroom. I think they're doing it." Kate giggled when she said it. This wasn't really all that unusual for us. It was unusual for either of us to speculate out loud about what they were doing, but we had both known what they were likely doing for a long time. Since Agnes came to live here in America, my parents didn't get nearly as much time alone together as they used to. My mom worked at the dance studio now, and because of her working, she didn't have dinner already prepared when dad got home, or all of the laundry and cleaning done, like she always had before she went to work with Agnes. It was also likely that, as we got older, and our thoughts turned to sex, we just started paying more attention to any possible sexual situations around us. "Are you okay now about everything? With Clara, and about what happened before and today?" I looked at Kate, trying to see her real reactions. "She and I talked when she first came over. She told me that she wasn't going to go with me if I ever went to see Keith again." "Are you planning on going to see him?" "If you'd let me, I would. If you did it without telling on me." "I would only do that if I first told mom and dad that I was all done with looking out for you. I could probably do it in a way that I didn't have to tell them anything other than it was too big a responsibility for me to handle. Which is the truth." "Then they still wouldn't let me go out or do anything until I get to be fourteen. If you remember, that's why you went to them in the first place, so I could do some stuff at least, and not always be stuck here at home." "Probably they wouldn't, but, they might. I think mom knows they can't just keep you locked up until then. On the other hand, whatever they decide, I wouldn't have to be worried about you all of the time. I think the only thing you might have to worry about is if mom makes you go straight from school to the dance studio, like she did last year. This year, she thought I was old enough to watch out for you. If I tell her I don't want to be responsible for you anymore, then she might decide to do that again." "Couldn't you tell her that you don't mind watching me when I'm home? Then, not say anything when I sometimes come home late?" "No. That would make me your accomplice, and I don't want any part of that. If you're going to sneak around, you have to fix up a way where I'm not involved, and where I don't have to lie for you." "That would mean I'd probably have to give up my afternoons with Clara too." "You might have to do that anyway, once she and I start going steady." "Why would I have to? You said it didn't bother you, what we do." "Not now. But we aren't going steady right now either. Did you think I'd let you two go on if Clara and I were going steady? If I'm not going to be doing anything with any other girls, I'd expect her to be like that too, and be only with me." "Why? If it doesn't bother you now? What difference does it make?" "I don't think I can explain it, but there is a big difference. Going steady means not doing things with anyone else. I won't, and she won't." "Did Clara say she would quit doing things with me?" "We haven't ever talked directly about that, but once she said she would stop, a long time ago. She was talking about you knowing that she would stop doing things with you when I finally started to realize that I loved her. I never asked her about it after though. You can ask her if you want to. It doesn't matter now though, because we aren't going steady yet." "But, you are going to be soon, you already told Clara that you were." "Not right away. Just like I told you that you shouldn't plan on having Clara here in the afternoons forever." "I don't see why you would have to take her away from me. I was with her first. I told her you were going to be this way." Kate was once again starting to show that she was getting upset. By the time she started hurling accusations around, she was working herself up to an explosion of some kind. "Kate, stop! It isn't your choice, or even my choice. Clara will have to decide. If she wants to go steady with me, she will decide not to do any more things with you. If she wants to keep on with you, then she'll decide not to go steady with me. There isn't anything for you to get all worked up about now. I was only trying to get you to take everything into account before you decided about what to do as far as going over to Keith's or not." "It would be better if you would just do what I'm asking you to, Larry. I could come home by four everyday. I could even tell you that I was being late because I wanted to go to the library." "Tell mom that's what you want to do. You like to use me as the guy you hide behind, and that's exactly what I don't want to keep happening. I don't try to pin the blame on you whenever I get caught doing something bad. You want to use me to get out from under mom's supervision, and then you'll go do something that you know mom would never let you do. As soon as you get caught though, it will all be my fault for letting you do that." "They listen to you. They won't ever listen to me." "They trust me. That's only because I'm older. I don't always try to get away with as much as you do. At least I don't try usually. They will treat you the same as me when you get older." "Clara says she thinks you should allow me to make my own mistakes. She says you're too protective of me." "Then it's settled. Tomorrow I'm going to tell mom that I'm too young to act like your parent. I'll tell her that you should only have to worry about sneaking around on two parents, not three. I really don't want to stay caught in the middle of this. I don't think you should just go screw Keith and Leon, just because they are willing to do it, but I don't want you to think I'm the one who wants to make those decisions for you. You should only have to deal with mom and dad and your own wishes." "Do it, if that's how you want to be. Just don't say anything to get me into any trouble. Mom might let me keep coming home by myself anyway. You need to quit trying to catch me doing things after you do that though." Kate glared at me. She had worked herself up in spite at my attempts to be conciliatory with her. Whenever she felt thwarted, it was always everyone else that was against her. She didn't try to focus her anger, preferring to be mad at the whole world. Saturday morning, even before my father got me started on my punishment chores, I told my mother what Kate and I had agreed on. She listened as I spoke. I watched her eyes, and I could tell that she was reading all of my mannerisms, and could see that I was nervous and upset about having this talk with her. When I was finished, she looked at me, and told me to finish my breakfast. She went down into the basement, probably to discuss things with my father. She came back in about five minutes and told me that she had decided that I was probably right. Then, she surprised me by thanking me for doing the best I could for Kate. She told me to put my plate and glass in the sink and go down to see what my father had planned for me in the basement. It turned out that he and I were going to re-paint the basement walls together. I went back up to my room and changed into my oldest clothes, ones that didn't even fit me anymore. I knew I was going to get a lot of paint on me while I worked. My dad gave me all of the middle area to paint, while he did all of the corners and edges. We used drop cloths, but I still managed to get paint all over me. I was wearing an old pair of my father's brown dress shoes that he didn't wear anymore. When we got done, he looked at them and told me to just throw them away. I did that with everything I was wearing, except for my socks and underpants. It was after one by the time we were all done. My father had worked me for longer than my three hours. I didn't complain though, because he would have just gotten mad, and then started telling me about when he was a boy my age back in Hungary. I had taken a shower and was getting dressed when Kate came and knocked on my door. "You were right, Larry. I have to go to the studio, straight from school everyday. Mom says that Clara can come with me though, and she's going to pay us to help her with her classes. Now remember, you don't have to be worried or interfere anymore with anything I do. Mom said that you can still take me places if you want to. You would have to agree to follow her instructions about what I can and can't do. I'm going to wait awhile, and then I'll tell her I have a lot of homework to do, like you did. If she tells me I can go do it at home, instead of going to the studio, you know what I'm going to do." "You always think you've made the best plans, Kate. Too bad they always wind up getting you into so much trouble. I'll do what I promised, just as long as you don't try to get me involved with any of it. Leave Clara out of all these things too. Don't try to get her involved with this again." Kate looked at me for a long few seconds, I thought she was going to say something, but, instead, she smiled, turned, and began to walk over to her own bedroom. Before she went in her room though, she left me with her parting thought. "Don't be so sure that I always have to talk so hard for Clara to want to try things." At the time, I thought it was just Kate being Kate. I was in a hurry to get over to Denise's house, so I didn't pay those words that much attention. If I hadn't been in such a hurry, I could have possibly saved the three of us a lot of problems in the coming weeks. Five minutes after Kate delivered that verbal offering, I was out the door, and headed over to see Denise and Trudie. Once I got there, it was was four hours of nearly nonstop sexual pleasure for me. Denise had shed her inhibitions with me. Trudie had gotten over any soreness she might have had too. I had brought four rubbers with me, and I wound up using two on Denise, and one with Trudie. Trudie and Denise spent fifteen minutes taking turns sucking my dick together. After that, I was doing it on the living room floor with Denise, screwing her from behind, but slow and not in too deep, when Trudie scooted over and tried her hardest to get Denise to lick her pussy. Denise wasn't going to do it, and kept pushing Trudie away from in front of her, until I told her that I wanted to watch her do it, because it looked so sexy. She was tentative when she first started, but as I kept moving in and out of her, she stopped being so self conscious, and seemed to really warm to her task. Trudie really seemed to like it, she was huffing and puffing, and making squealing noises. Later, when I was screwing Trudie from behind, I made Denise lay down in front of her, so that Trudie could reciprocate. I don't think Trudie was as happy to be on the giving end as she had been to be on the receiving end. Denise seemed to enjoy herself in spite of that. We all rested right after we finished that one. Trudie was the first one to recover, and she asked me to put a finger in her butt hole. I was lying on my side, and she lifted her legs all the way up to offer me her butt for my finger. I worked it in her only a short ways while Trudie frigged herself with her hand. She was moving her fingers really fast over her clit, and managed to have at least one orgasm in less than five minutes. When I removed my finger, she started acting embarrassed about it. She told Denise to try it, but Denise didn't want to. The last time I screwed, was when Denise and I did it out in the kitchen. I was sitting on a dinette chair. I had been there at their house about three hours by then, and I was already getting pretty tired. Denise had sucked me again until I got my dick fairly stiff, and then, after I put another rubber on, she climbed over my lap and stuck my dick up inside her. We did it like that for a long time. Trudie stayed close by, watching us, and shifting from one leg to another. She was like a dancer, keeping herself warmed up and limber. I finally came, although I had been afraid I wouldn't be able to. After, I had to help Denise lift herself up off of me. She had been the one doing most of the work. I had mostly just sat there, although I was hugging her most of the time, and held most of her weight to keep her from falling, when she needed to lean far back in order to stretch her back muscles. After I got her up off of my dick, Denise laid down on the kitchen floor, flat on her back, trying to rest some, and get her breath back. Trudie then tried to sit down on Denise's face, but this time Denise really fought her off and pushed her away from her. I wound up down on the kitchen floor, licking Trudie for another ten minutes. I once again was sticking my finger back in her butt, deeper this time, fingering her, so she could have another strong cum. When we got done with that one, I don't think any of us wanted to do anything more. I went into the bathroom and took another shower, this time just a quick rinse. Trudie came in while I showered, and started asking me questions about my Aunt Agnes. For some reason, I was a little uneasy talking to Trudie about Agnes under those conditions. The questions themselves were innocent enough, having mostly to do with Agnes's professional dance career, but it just felt awkward to me. After I finished showering, I left. I only remembered later that I hadn't kissed either one of them. Not even Denise when I was fucking her in that chair. Even more surprising was that I never thought of doing it, and neither of them had brought it up either. When I got back home, Clara was in the living room with Kate. Seeing me, Kate made some comment to Clara, and both of them laughed. I didn't even look over at them. I was dead tired. All of that painting, and then the workout I got from Denise and Trudie, I was at the end of my tether. I was too tired to even want to eat anything for supper. My mom made me come to the dinner table anyway, and she spent quite a few minutes on being mad at my father for again working me too hard. The only thing my father said, and he said this several times, was that I didn't look like I did then, when I had finished painting with him. My mother then took a closer look at me, and she didn't say anything more. Clara and Kate talked merrily throughout the entire meal. I noticed that Kate seemed much happier about things right then than Clara did. My mother excused me from having to do any of the after dinner clean up. She told me to go get some sleep so that I'd be able to stay awake in church the following day. I thanked her, and went into my room. Sunday, after church, I found myself, once again in Agnes's apartment. Karen didn't get there until almost two. I had almost given up on seeing her. She said that she was a little afraid that her mother might be suspicious, and might double back to check on her again at Denise's house. She said she had worked it out with Trudie and Denise that they wouldn't answer the phone or doorbell, so that, if her mom called or came back, and they could claim that they had all walked over to Frank's to get something to eat. Karen and I did do a lot of kissing on Agnes's bed, and we managed to get ourselves all worked up, before we started any screwing. The first time we did it, I was on top, and Karen and I were kissing for the whole time. Karen didn't cum. After the first time, I licked her while she tried to suck me. She came at least two times for sure, but after, she complained that she was too sensitive for me to lick her any more. We rested, talking while I played with her titties. She always liked it when I played with them, or sucked on her nipples. When I was ready again, I put another rubber on, and started doing her from behind. With Karen, because of her nice ass, that was my favorite way of doing it. I got a nice rhythm going, and then just held myself in a stiff position, and allowed her to set the pace, as she moved back onto me, pulled out a ways, then pushed hard back against me. This gave me a good look at her butt hole, and it looked like she was squeezing and relaxing it. I thought about the day before with Trudie, and so I put my index finger into my mouth, getting it all nice and wet. Karen would stop moving once in awhile, just to catch a breath or to adjust her knees on the bed covers. I waited until she stopped before putting my finger down on her butt hole and rubbing on it. I didn't try to stick it in. I wanted to see if she would like it, or if she would tell me to quit doing it. She didn't do anything other than put her head down on the mattress, and start pushing slowly back on my dick. I was a little excited about her butt hole, so my dick got stiffer. She seemed to like that stiffer dick even better than before. I moved my finger around some more, even trapping some of the juices from her pussy, and kept on rubbing. When she paused again, I pressed the point of my finger against her hole, and watched as the first joint, the one with my fingernail, disappeared inside her butt. She started moaning louder, and moving faster, and I had to really work not to pull my finger out of her butt. I moved my wrist so it was at a different angle, and watched as most of my finger disappeared into her butthole when she pushed back on it. Karen started cumming then. I don't know if it was my finger in her ass while my dick was filling her pussy, or it was just her thinking about what we were doing, but she really had a strong cum. I felt it on my finger, as well as on my dick. When I started cumming right after that, her cum got even stronger. We had both completely stopped in our movement, and I couldn't have pulled out of her then if I'd tried to. She finally started lowering herself slowly down onto the mattress. I think her knees and arms must have just gotten too weak and given out. My dick popped out with a loud slurping sound, and, when I looked down at her the rubber was sticking part way out of her. When I grabbed it and pulled it out, I saw right away, that there was a big tear in the end of it. Most of my cum had already dripped out, or else it had broken even before I came. In any event Karen's pussy was completely splashed full of my cum. I almost swallowed my tongue. "Oh shit!" Karen didn't move or respond. "The rubber popped, I came inside you!" She turned over so quickly that I would have lost my dick if it had still been up inside her. "How? What should we do?" She was already panicking. I got up from the bed and went into the bathroom to flush that damn defective rubber down the toilet. I went out to the kitchen next, and found a Coke in the fridge. I popped the top off with an opener, and drank down about a third of it. Returning to the bedroom, I told Karen to hurry up and get into the shower stall. Once we were both inside, I shut the door and told her to lay down on her back with her legs spread and raised up high in the air. While she was complying with this very strange request, I was shaking that Coke bottle for all I was worth, building up a head of high pressure, and lots of frothy foam. When the Coke was was ready, I put my thumb and the mouth of the Coke bottle into Karen's pussy, removing my thumb as soon as it was safely in. I felt her trying to move away from the released pressure and the cold liquid, but I yelled at her to just stay still. When the bottle was empty, I went and got another, telling Karen not to move anything. I repeated the process one more time. We stayed like that, Karen, with her legs spread wide, and the Coke foam oozing out of her pussy. After ten minutes or so, I told her to stand up, and I turned the shower on for both of us. We washed up. Several times, Karen would get herself excited and panicked because she was so afraid of what might happen. Each time I held her, and comforted her, telling her that the Coke foam had either pushed all of my cum out of her, or else killed it right inside her, because cum was killed off by the acid in Coke. She must have believed me, because she quit sobbing and shaking in my arms. Bill was the one who had told me that this Coke remedy would work. He had heard it from two high school seniors once when they were discussing it at the park. One of them had told Bill that he used it himself, all the time, and it had never failed him. We took a long shower together, but as soon as we got out, Karen dried herself off, and started right away to get dressed. It wasn't even four o'clock yet, but she couldn't wait to leave. She didn't kiss me, or even say anything else to me after she got dressed. She opened Agnes's door, and walked right out, hurrying down the stairs without a backward glance at me. I went back to the bathroom, cleaning up all of our mess, so things looked as good as I could make them. My hands were shaking as I cleaned off the shower door and walls. I almost wanted to start crying. I didn't have nearly as much confidence in that Coke cure for pregnancy, as I had tried to display for Karen's sake. What good was wearing a rubber if they just broke like that for no reason at all? If Karen got pregnant, my life was over. Karen's father would shoot me, and my own parents would hold me steady so he could get off a good shot at me. I wanted to cry so bad that I went over to Agnes's bed, and that's exactly what I did. How come these things always happened to me? ------- Chapter 38 By the next day, I had gotten myself calmed down to the point where I could act reasonably normal in school. I was surprised with how calm Karen was being. At lunch, I discovered the reason for this. Denise had assured her that she had heard of the Coke treatment for "accidents" from her brother's girlfriend over a year ago. Apparently, hearing it from Denise, had done the trick. I asked her when she was expecting her period. She had to think for a minute before she said it was due at any time. Two weeks later, Karen's period finally arrived. Two weeks! Wouldn't you think a girl would remember a simple thing like when her last period was. That first week wasn't so bad, because Karen kept saying she felt like it was just about ready to start. By the second week, I was getting resigned to my fate. I just knew that my bad luck was going to make sure that Karen turned up pregnant. For two Sundays in a row, I spent time working on cleaning up the storage room in my mom's studio. She had collected as much junk in there, as my dad had down in our basement. Old mats, chairs that had broken legs, tons of papers that she had collected from different students, and other people, over the past three years. There was even a box of lost and left toys and sweaters, coats, and books that I found way in the back. It was there from the time when they had first opened up the studio. Now, the lost and found was up front, in my mom's office, and it was cleaned out, and the things donated, after being there for thirty days. On the second Sunday, I scraped, washed and waxed the storage room floor. My mother was impressed with all of my work, but wondered out loud about why I was doing it. I couldn't tell her that I didn't feel like entertaining any visitors before I found out whether I was going to be a daddy or not. I got a call on a Thursday night from Karen. It was a little after eight, and when my mother handed me the phone, she gave me a funny look. Karen's voice was so excited, that I knew what she was going to say, even before she said it. "I got my visitor!" "That's really great! I'm happy. Of course, I wasn't really worried, not after the Cokes and all." "I was a little bit worried because it was so long in getting here. I think I might have remembered it wrong about when my last one was though, because I'm usually pretty regular." "Are you going to be done by Sunday?" "What?" "Is it going to be over, you know, your visitor. Is it going to be finished so we can meet on Sunday again." "Is that all you can think about, Larry? You know what could have happened?" "Yes, I know. Do you mean you aren't going to do it any more?" "I haven't decided yet. Right now, I still want to be happy that I didn't get pregnant. We'll have to see later about how I feel. I only called to tell you my news." "Thanks for calling me. I'm happy that things turned out good for you. I won't rush you on that other thing, okay? Whenever you decide. We're still going to be friends, right?" "You're going to ask someone else to the apartment, aren't you?" "No. I haven't even done anything, not since that last time with you." "I know that. You should hear Denise complaining. That was very sweet of you too, Larry. The only good part about our waiting to see. It made me feel like I was important to you, that you waited to see if I was okay or not first." "I told you that I like you a lot. I'll see you in school tomorrow, we can talk more then." When I got back to the living room, my mother asked me who that was on the telephone with me. My mother never asked me questions like that. Not since back when I was a little kid, at least. "A girl from school. She wanted to tell me something that happened to her today." "It sounded like that girl, the one who came over with her parents before, Karen?" "It was just a girl from school, mom. You know that Karen and I aren't supposed to even talk to each other anymore." "So, it wasn't Karen on the phone just now?" "It was a girl named Denise. Jeez!" My mother looked at me sharply. This was one of the main reasons I hated to have to lie to her. She would somehow always know that I was lying. She knew she couldn't prove that I was lying, but she knew that I had been. I left her standing there and went into my own bedroom. At least, Karen's period coming, had taken away my main worry, and that made me feel halfway normal again. Now, my main worry was Kate. Twice this past week, she had talked my mother into letting her go right home after school, instead of going to the studio. Both times, she hadn't been at home when I got there. The second time, I'd stopped off at the studio to ask my mom something, and hadn't gotten home until after four o'clock. Kate got home after four thirty. She didn't say where she had been, and I didn't ask her. Both times, when she did get home, Clara wasn't with her. I hadn't seen much of Clara for the past couple of weeks. She had only come over a couple of times during that period, but had spent all of the time in Kate's bedroom, right up until it was time for her to leave. Once, she had stopped by my room to say hi to me, on her way out the door, but that was it for communication during this two week time. I had been pretty distracted about this thing with Karen, and hadn't really noticed Clara's absence from my life all that much. On Friday, while we walked to school, Kate informed me that mom had told her she didn't have to come to the studio after school that day. This was another thing that Kate had started doing, letting me know when she was able to take advantage of our mom's trusting her. I didn't like it. There was no doubt in my mind that Kate was going to keep on pushing things, either until something bad happened to her, or until she got caught again. I tried to get her to think about that, but she didn't want to listen to me. I talked with Karen at lunch time again. She brought up the apartment herself, saying that she didn't want to meet me there on Sunday. She said it was too soon after the big scare. I told her that I wouldn't take anyone else there. She smiled at me, and we talked about our regular school things after that. I got home at four fifteen, and found Kate crying in her room. I tried to get her to talk to me, but she refused, telling me to leave her alone. At five thirty, my mom got a phone call that immediately had her very upset. She went and talked to my father first, then she put her coat on, and left the house. She got home about seven thirty, got my father, and took him into their bedroom. All this time, nobody was cooking anything. I hadn't eaten, and Kate was still in her bedroom. She hadn't come out of it since I got home. I knew, from my mom's face, that whatever had happened, it was very bad. At eight o'clock, my mom came out and went into Kate's room. I heard some loud yelling, followed by a loud slapping sound. There was more yelling, and I finally heard my mother yelling for my father to come help her. I ran to the bedroom just as my father got there, and my mother had Kate pinned underneath her on the floor, and Kate was screaming at her to let her up. "Laurant, not now! Get away. This concerns only your sister for right now." My mother had a wild look about her when she said this to me. My father stood there next to her, saying something to her in Hungarian, then he reached down and grabbed both of Kate's hands. "Go, and shut this door, Laurant!" I closed Kate's door, and went into my own room. I was hoping to hear something, to get some idea about what had happened. Whatever it was, I knew it was bad. It had to be for Kate to wind up in a fight with my mother. All I could hear was Kate yelling to be let go, and my mother talking to her. She was trying to whisper, but she was so upset, it sounded like she was hissing her words. Once in awhile, my father said something in Hungarian. It sounded like he was trying to calm my mother down. I couldn't make any sense of anything I was hearing. Then I heard Kate yell something that I could understand. "FUCK YOU, I WON"T!" After that, I heard a lot of sounds like people fighting, my father screaming, Kate crying, and my mother, sounding out of breath, screaming at Kate as someone was pummeling someone with their hands. I heard Kate's door open, and I looked and saw my father carrying my mother off to their bedroom. I went to look and Kate was lying on her bed, blood coming from her nose and crying as hard as she could. I went in to see her better. I was half in shock. I'd never seen my mother acting like this. "What did you do, Kate?" She looked at me. Noticing that she was alone except for me, she got up and tried to run right past me. I grabbed her, and held her so that she couldn't leave. "What did you do?" I shouted it at her now. Kate went limp in my grasp, and just started crying even louder. My father came out of his bedroom, and saw me holding Kate. "Go back to your room, Larry. Shut your door." "What's happening? I have a right to know what's going on too!" "Kate's being punished right now. Get out of here!" I left, letting Kate gently down on the floor as I did. I went over to my room and shut the door. As soon as I did, I heard my father hitting Kate with the folded over belt that he had in his hand after he came back out of his bedroom. He must have whacked her at least ten times with that belt. Each time, Kate would scream and yell something at him. The last five or six times, her swearing at him had turned into pleas for mercy. My father kept on hitting her. By the time he stopped, I was crying too. I heard him leave Kate's room, telling her that she better not even think about leaving her bedroom, not if she knew what was good for her. My father had almost never hit either of us. Never at all, since I was about eight or nine. I had never been beaten like Kate had. It was almost impossible for me to imagine anything that Kate could have done that would cause him to be so angry. I went and opened my bedroom door, and walked over to Kate's. I opened it, and looked in. She was just laying on the floor, all curled up in a ball, crying and whimpering. I shut her door again, quietly, so that I didn't disturb anyone. I was afraid to go ask anyone about dinner. I went out to the kitchen and made two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and got myself a glass of milk. I was sitting at the dinette eating, when my father came walking out. He was hungry too I guess, because he started rummaging around in the fridge. He found some left over roasted chicken which he brought over to the table. He got himself a glass of water and a knife and fork and a small plate. He sat down and started trimming meat off the carcass of the chicken. He didn't speak a word to me, and I didn't say anything either. He peeled the chicken off of the bones and carefully put the meat on his plate. When he got done, he went and got some mayonnaise out of the fridge. He scooped some of it onto his plate, and then took the mayonnaise back to the fridge. Next, he sprinkled salt and pepper on the meat and started dipping it in the mayonnaise and eating it. "Your sister is going to make your mama and me crazy. I told your mama not to give in to her before, but she wouldn't listen to me. This is what comes of giving in." "What?" "Never mind what! Eat and go to bed! You have no room to talk, you with your harem of girls! Don't think we don't know what you've been up to. I don't want any more of it either. From now on, you come right home from school. No more trips to Agnes's on Sunday. I'll take the belt to you too. My whole family, including your mama, is making me ashamed of them." I almost said something to him. There wasn't anything for me to say though that wouldn't cause him to just get more angry at Kate and I. I had to assume that my mother had just now told him about what went on over at Agnes's apartment on Sundays. I still didn't know what Kate had got caught doing. I could safely assume it had something to do with Keith, and with her coming home late, whenever my mother let her go straight home after school. I finished my milk and sandwiches, and went off to my bedroom. I opened up Kate's door, and saw that she had gotten up and was laying in her bed. She still hadn't changed into sleep clothes though. I closed her door, and went into my own bedroom. I got undressed and went to bed. I thought I'd have difficulty with sleeping, but I fell asleep really quick. Saturday, my father had me load up a bunch of his junk from the basement, and we put it in his car and took it all to the dump. We got back, and he surprised me by going down and having us get another carload to take to the dump. We made a third trip, and then a fourth, carting off all the stuff he had tied up in the side yard from before. In all, it took us about five hours before we had all of his stuff in the basement either gone, or arranged in some kind of good order. It looked almost empty now, compared to how it had looked before. Several times, while we were working, my mother had tried to approach my father, but each time, he had angrily waved her away from him. It was very obvious to all of us that he was really mad still. When we were done with the basement, and with taking stuff to the dump, my father got in his car, by himself, and drove off. He hadn't packed anything, so I never thought he was leaving us for good. My mother was sitting in the living room, looking out the window, as my father drove away. She was crying. I went over and sat down next to her. She turned and gave me a hug. "Your papa has never been so angry with me. I don't know what he'll do. He blames me now for everything. He says I am a bad mother. He threatens to divorce me if I don't quit the dance studio, come home to take care of all of this." Divorce? They had some fights before, but nothing was ever said about any divorce. I couldn't believe that he was so mad that he'd do something as desperate and final as getting a divorce. He had never liked my mother working. She liked it though. She enjoyed making some money, and doing more than keeping house and raising children. "He'll get over it. You'll see. He's just a little mad right now." "When I watched him throwing away all of those 'projects' of his, Laurant, I knew he wasn't going to get over it. I even asked him not to throw them away. I knew what they represented to him. He is telling me he really means it by doing that. If he throws those away, he can also throw away sixteen years of marriage. He isn't going to get over anything." "Then you have to do what he says. Agnes can run the studio. She can just cut back on her advanced classes and do the things that make some money." "Agnes has no head for business. If it were up to her, no money would ever come in. She isn't practical. I don't know how she would live. Dance is all she knows, all she loves." "Can't she go back to performing? Get a job here with a big company?" "She didn't make a living in Hungary, Laurant. There, she knew everyone, they all knew her too, knew what she could and couldn't do. Plus, she is older now, and it has been seven years since she danced with a real dance company. No, she can't do that. There is also the question of the lease on the building. It has another seven years on it. It isn't so simple like your papa thinks." "What did Kate do? Why are you and papa so mad at her?" "Laurant, I'm not going to tell you that. Perhaps Katinka will tell you herself. Possibly she never will. You should know that it involves Clara too, Laurant. It wasn't just Katinka." I could see that my mother knew that she was telling me something that was going to affect my emotions. She was trying to prepare me for the shock of finding out. My heart started beating fast, and I sat there, feeling weak and afraid to ask her anything more about it. I didn't want to know right then. I wanted to get off somewhere by myself, and try to calm my worst fears down. There was really only one thing it could be. Kate and Clara must have gotten caught screwing those two boys. Nothing else would have made my parents go so berserk the night before, in the bedroom with Kate. My mother had returned to looking out of the window again. I got up from the sofa, and went into my room to change out of the clothes I had worn while working with my dad. I decided to take a shower. A long shower. When you are fourteen, and you want to cry in private, a shower is the best place to do it. I didn't know for sure what had happened yet, but, from the little my mom had told me, it was bad and it involved Clara. My Clara. Before, when she had fooled around with those boys, I hadn't gotten too upset with her. I was fooling around too. I still was, kind of. I would have been anyway, except for the worries about Karen. The difference was that I had asked Clara not to do it anymore, and she had promised me that she wouldn't. I'd already forgiven her and put that other incident behind us. I blamed Kate. She was always able to get Clara to do anything with her. She deserved to get beat with my dad's belt if she had dragged Clara into this mess with her. I wasn't going to feel sorry for her anymore. If my mom and dad really did get a divorce, I'd blame Kate for it for the rest of our lives. I turned off the shower, my sadness replaced by my anger at Kate. I dried off, and went into my room to change. When I came out of my bedroom, Kate was sitting on the sofa with my mom. They were both hugging each other. I wanted to scream at her, to tell her how her actions had cost all of us so much. I didn't though. I went to the closet and grabbed my coat. I didn't trust myself to be around Kate right then. For the first time in a long time, I wanted to hit her. I left my house instead. I walked over to the park, but no one was there. It was too cold to play anything at the park, anyway. I looked in my wallet to see how much money I had. It was three dollars, I also had another dollar plus in change. I decided to go get something to eat at Frank's. When I first walked in, there were only a couple kids from the high school there. By the time my burger and fries were ready, a bunch of the younger kids from the matinee at the movies started coming in. One of these kids was Trudie. As soon as she saw me, she left the young boy she had come in with, and hurried over to my booth. "Is it true? About Kate and Clara?" She was all excited as she asked me the question. I decided to try to get some information out of her. "Tell me what you heard, and I'll tell you if it's true or not." "I heard that Kate and Clara got caught screwing four boys at school, in the boiler room, after school let out yesterday. The boys were all taking turns doing it to them. One of the boys, Freddie Traynor told some other kids that they all got suspended for two weeks. Is that true?" "I don't know. I know Kate's in trouble though." "Denise says that they're both sluts now, and nobody should even speak to them." Trudie was having a good time talking about Clara and Kate's woes. Too good, it seemed to me. "Is this the same Denise that Tommy Lampkin screwed, and that I've screwed a few times myself? Isn't she the same girl I watched licking both you and Karen's pussies? That Denise is the one that's saying MY sister's a slut? Well, she ought to know what makes a slut I guess. I don't think you and Denise should go around saying mean things about Kate, Trudie. You make sure you tell Denise that for me." Trudie started looking all around us to see if my words had been picked up by anyone else. I could see that my anger had surprised her. I knew that I had spent too much time loving my sister to ever let anyone get away with calling her names. Not that slut wasn't a fitting description, if she had really done that with four boys at once. I guess that made me a slut too though. And Clara, Trudie, Karen and Denise. I left the rest of my uneaten fries at the table, and got up and left. Trudie didn't try to say anything else to me. I put my coat back on as soon as I got back outside. I didn't want to go back home, but I didn't know anywhere else to go. Back home, Kate and my mom were still sitting together. My mom was still staring out the window, hoping to see my dad's car driving into the driveway again. I guess Agnes was taking over for my mom's classes that day, because she never once left the house. I went back to my room and closed my door. At about six thirty, my mom came to my door and told me to come out for supper. I told her I didn't want to eat, and, wonder of all wonders, she didn't try to make me. At nine o'clock, my father still hadn't returned. My mother was really starting to be worried. I was laying in my bed, half listening for the front door to open, and half trying to sort out my feelings, when I just dropped off to sleep. I woke up at around five in the morning, needing to pee something fierce. I did pee, then, after, I decided to go into the living room to check and see if my father's car was parked in our driveway or not. I didn't need to look out the window. My father was sleeping on our sofa in the living room. He smelled like whiskey even from five or six feet away. I went back to my bed room. For the first Sunday that I could remember, none of us went to church. My day started off at around nine that morning, with a phone call from Denise. It wasn't a long call, just long enough for Denise to tell me that she never wanted to talk to me again, and to say that she didn't want to hear that I was spreading lies about her either. I think I said hello to her, and that was about it. She hung up on me before I could say goodbye to her. My mother stayed in her bedroom all day. My father spent a lot of time drinking water and taking aspirins. The rest of the time, he stayed down in the basement. At four o'clock, my mother came out of her bedroom and went down to the basement. She was down there for less than five minutes. When she came up again, she was crying. She went into the kitchen. A few minutes later, my father came up from the basement and went into their bedroom. Twenty minutes went by, my mother crying in the kitchen, my father in the bedroom with the door closed. When he came back out, he was carrying a big brown suitcase. I knew right away what that meant. I jumped up from my chair and went over to him. I hugged him, I was already crying. I pleaded with him to reconsider and not leave us. He had an arm around me, but he wasn't saying anything to me. He might have been crying too, I didn't look up at him. He let me go, walking past my mother, who had come out of the kitchen. He went out to his car, got in, and drove away from us. Kate must have gotten curious because of the noise I'd been making. She came out of her room just in time to watch my father walking out the door, carrying that big suitcase. She turned and went back into her bedroom. I stayed with my mother for the rest of the day and evening, until it was time for me to go to bed. We didn't talk about anything. I asked her if my father was going away for good, and she only nodded that he was. On Monday, my mother made Kate go to the studio with her for the whole day. I was in school, but rumors had already reached my school, and most people avoided me. Denise and Karen spent their time talking together, and Karen didn't come into the cafeteria for lunch. After school I walked over to the dance studio. My mom was busy with a class, but she came over to me right after I got there, and asked me to take Kate home and watch her. At first, I told her I didn't want to do anything with Kate, but she gave me that look, and I told her I would. Kate and I walked out of the studio and started walking towards our house. Kate started talking to me as soon as we got outside. "Larry, what am I going to do now?" "You mean like Alexander the Great? You've already destroyed everything, and now you don't know what to do next?" "It wasn't just me that got caught you know? Clara was right there beside me the whole time. I didn't do anything she wasn't doing." "Is it ever going to be bad enough that you're satisfied, Kate? Dad's divorcing mom, your reputation in this town is as bad as it could possibly be, no one is speaking to me in school now, and you want me to know that Clara's every bit as big a slut as you are. Does that cover it all?" "I just meant it wasn't only me, that's all. What about all those boys?" "Kate, you really messed up. Stop trying to spread the blame out. Just accept that you did wrong, and try to make the best of it." "Did you see him hitting me with his belt? I'm probably going to have marks on my legs and butt forever now. I'm glad he left." "You just better shut up now, Kate, or else I'm going to hit you with my belt when we get home. You deserved everything you've gotten, and probably a lot more. You couldn't wait to turn into the biggest slut in town, and now you've done it, and you're still only twelve. There probably isn't a single person in town that doesn't know what you got caught doing with those four boys." "It was five boys, not four. You don't even know everything. Clara and I both did it with each of them before we got caught. Five of them. I don't care who knows either. That's what you all get for trying to keep me from doing what I wanted to do." I slapped her face as hard as I could. Then, I grabbed her coat sleeve and yanked her towards our house. She still hadn't learned anything. To her, this was some kind of a victory. She had defeated all of our attempts to keep her under some sort of control. That was what this had been all about from the beginning. Kate didn't like being told what to do. This was her way of fighting to be left alone, to make her own decisions. I got her in the house, and pushed her into her room. I was so angry with her that I didn't trust myself to even be in the same room with her. Things were tense like that for another week. Kate went with my mother, and came home with me, after my school let out. Everyday she was staying in her room. She didn't speak to me, and I didn't speak to her. Several times, during the evening, my mother made phone calls to people. She always spoke in whispers, and a lot of the time, she spoke in Hungarian. One night, I heard her on the phone crying, and repeating my father's name over and over again. "Josef, Josef, Josef." Just like that, about ten or fifteen times in a row. The following morning, my father showed up, after my mother and Kate had already left early for the dance studio. He went straight into his bedroom, and came back, after a minute, with his passport and some other, important looking papers. Then, he went into Kate's room and packed her a bag with a bunch of her clothes in it. Five minutes after he walked into the house, he left. He hadn't said a word to me, and I was already going to be late for school. I decided to go to my mom's studio to find out what he was planning to do with Kate's clothes. When I got there, Kate and my mother were already gone. Agnes was there. There were no students, and Agnes was sitting in my mother's office, crying. When she looked up and saw me, she tried to wipe her eyes. "She is gone, Larry. They already took her to the airport. You father is taking Kate to Hungary, to live with Zoli's sister, in Budapest. This is a terrible thing to do to such a little girl. It isn't right. Your mama knows it is wrong too, but she allows it to happen. I don't know how she will live with herself after this. This is not discipline. To take her from this, to what she will find in Hungary." I was stunned. I didn't know how to react. Part of me was happy that they had done something to Kate, something that would make her understand how serious what she had done really was. Part of me was devastated by having my closest relative taken away so suddenly. I hoped that this meant my parents would get back together. If it did, then I was in favor of Kate going to Hungary. I would miss her, at least what having a sister had been like before this latest mess. I assumed that it was only going to be for a matter of a few months, long enough for her to know that she couldn't keep pushing everyone to get her own way. I stayed with Aunt Agnes until my mother got back at about one o'clock. She and I went home right away. I found out from Agnes that my mother had canceled all of her own classes for the next week. "Laurant, I'm sorry we couldn't tell you. We were both afraid you might say something. Possibly to warn your sister if we told you our plans. Your papa and I couldn't see any other option that would teach Kate how important it was to not keep doing what she was doing." "Why Zoli's sister, why not family?" "There was no one except your Neg Papa. He is too old and unwell to care for a young girl. Besides, in Budapest, Katinka will find others who have learned some English in the schools. There is more culture in the city. It will be the most like here for her." "Is papa coming back home?" "He will stay with Katinka for one month, to help her get settled. After, he must come back to resume his work. Laurant, we discussed sending you to Hungary also. Your papa is very upset with your behavior, and with your aunt and I for assisting you on Sundays. He thinks some of this might have been avoided, if you hadn't set such a poor example for Katinka." I listened as she spoke to me. I wondered if she was right about my behavior helping to make Kate do the things she did. I didn't really think so. I felt like I had let her do a few things I really shouldn't have, but I didn't encourage her. In fact, I tried to discourage anything I thought would harm her. I didn't set that good of an example, but I don't think Kate was trying to follow my footsteps. She was looking out for her own desires. Working on her own personal agenda. A week after Kate went to Hungary, things started getting pretty much back to normal for me at school. I was walking past Kate's old school on the way to my school when I spotted Clara over near the entrance. She was standing by herself, but I saw she was looking at me. I smiled at her, and waved casually hello. She didn't return my wave, but I did see a quick little smile on her face. Later in the week, Karen came over to sit by me at lunchtime. She started in talking to me like she hadn't been avoiding me for two whole weeks already. "Are you mad at me or something, Larry? You never say hello anymore." "I'm not very good company right now, Karen. Besides, I noticed that you are always busy somewhere else at lunchtime now. I haven't seen you eating in the cafeteria until just today. Ever since the thing with Denise happened." "Denise is going with Bill now, did you know that? I can't stand him, but she likes him now. I thought you and I could maybe spend some time together." "I'd like that, Karen, but there is a lot of trouble in my family right now. I'm not able to get away for anything like that." "No more Sundays at the apartment?" "No more anything. I really miss it too, but my mom has laid the law down to me." "That's really too bad, Larry. I've been thinking about you a lot." "Well, believe me, if I could, I would. But, I can't." We finished up lunch, and went on to our next class. I found that I really didn't feel too bad about telling Karen that I couldn't do anything with her. I didn't even miss her except when I was thinking about sex. She was the one I missed most for sex. I missed Clara for lots of things. Denise, I didn't miss at all. I liked Trudie okay, to say hi to, because she was funny, and had lots of energy. In a way, she reminded me a little of Kate. More and more, my thoughts kept returning to Clara. By now, I had heard almost all of the stories. Enough to know that the time in the boiler room hadn't been the first time for Kate or Clara. I also knew that Kate hadn't held a gun to Clara's head and forced her to do any of those things. She had been a willing participant. She might still have been for all that I knew. I felt bad because of what she had chosen to do. I didn't feel wronged anymore, just bad. Two people I cared for, loved really, had decided to do something that was demeaning to them. Something that hurt them, and made them seem cheap to everyone who heard about it. To me, Clara was now changed. Not the virgin part, but the fact that she had placed herself into this lower category of girls. Girls where sex didn't matter enough to them to even exercise some choice in their partners. I had felt that about Eileen, and now I felt the same thing about Clara. It simply hadn't mattered to her. I knew something about that too. I wasn't placing myself above Clara or Eileen, and not above Kate either. I was pretty much the same as they were. I walked by Clara's house, on my way home, but I didn't see her when I went by. I started walking to school earlier, and walking by Clara's house on my way to and from school. After a week of this, Mrs. Townsend came out of her house, and called me over to her. It was in the afternoon. "What are you doing, Larry? I see you walking by my house all the time. Why?" "I don't know. I guess I'm hoping that Clara will be outside, and I'll get to see her." "Why would you want to see her? Didn't she already prove to you she was more Kate's friend than yours?" "Sure, I guess so. Look I have to get home. My mom doesn't like it if I'm too late." "Are you going to keep coming by here, Larry? In the mornings and after school?" "I probably am. I'm not bothering anyone." "It's bothering me, Larry. Why are you doing it? It makes me nervous. You make me nervous." "I'll walk on the other side of the street, if that would be better?" "A different street would be better. You didn't tell me why you're doing it." I looked at her. I didn't have any answer. I hadn't let myself think about the whys of it. I just felt better doing it. Clara didn't seem so distant when I walked by her house, or by her school. Plus, she was another link to Kate. I was already crying again. I knew Clara's mother wouldn't understand, no matter what I said to her. I just left. She didn't come out anymore after that. I was walking by on the other side of the street, but I'd cross back over when I got past her house. My father finally got home, but he didn't bring Kate back with him. I had convinced myself that he might do that. He did bring me a long letter that she had written to me. It was four pages long, and most of it was her saying how much she hated Hungary, my parents, and me. At the very end, she asked me to tell Clara that she missed her a lot. She didn't sign it or anything. My mother was still working at the dance studio, and my dad went back to work at his job too. They were both quieter around each other, and when they did talk, it was usually in Hungarian. Some nights, my mom would turn in to bed early, but my father stayed up until his normal bedtime. When he did go to bed, he always left their door open. That's how I knew they had stopped having sex together. My Aunt Agnes was still mad at my mom and dad. She came over to supper a few times, and she would talk to both of them in Hungarian. Sometimes, right in the middle of Agnes saying something, my father would leave the dinner table and go down in the basement. Those times, Agnes would really give it to my mom. When my mom started giving it back to Agnes, she would get all upset, and my mom would drive her back to her apartment. There were usually lots of leftovers when Agnes came over to eat with us. About two weeks after my father got back, Kate wrote me another letter. This time she bragged that she had already found two boys that took turns screwing her. She asked me to write her, and to give Clara her address so that she could write to her too. I handed the letter to my mother. She read it, then went into her room to cry in private. My dad picked up the letter and read down to the part where Kate wrote about those two boys, then he balled the letter up and threw it as hard as he could. He went out that night, and didn't get home until late. He was still on the couch when I got up in the morning. I kept walking past Clara's house. I never tried to give her Kate's address or say hello to her from Kate. It was almost time for school to get over with. Another month. The weather was getting nicer. I was coming home after school one day and I saw Clara and her mom out sitting on the steps in front of their house. I hadn't seen Clara for a long time. I had already crossed over to the other side of her street for when I walked past, but when I saw them there, I walked back over to their side. I walked by on the sidewalk, only twenty feet from her. I was smiling, I knew, but Clara was smiling too. Her mother wasn't smiling though, she was crying. I didn't stop. I didn't want to push my luck. I saw Clara again, later that week. This time, she was sitting in the same place, but her mother wasn't with her. I already knew that it was her birthday. She was turning fourteen. "Happy birthday, Clara." "Thank you, Larry. You remembered!" I could tell this pleased her. I was surprised that she'd think I would forget it. "It would be hard to forget someone's birthday when you love her." ------- Chapter 39 "It would be hard to forget someone's birthday when you love her." Clara stared at me. Neither of us said anything for several minutes. I watched her carefully, trying to anticipate what her reaction would be to my admission. Finally, she stood up and turned around and ran inside her house. I didn't try to follow. I knew she needed some time to think about what I'd told her. I walked home. I didn't know what Clara was thinking, but I sure felt better. The next day was a Friday. On my way to school, I didn't cross over to the other side of the street when I walked past Clara's house. At the junior high, I stopped for a minute and looked all over, hoping to catch sight of Clara. If she was there, I couldn't see her. In school that day, I found out that Bill and Denise had broken up. I didn't hear the details, but Denise seemed to be taking their break up pretty well. I seldom spent any time near Bill, except in the two afternoon classes we had together. He avoided me, and I did the same with him. He had gotten on to the JV baseball team as a reserve catcher, but I hadn't bothered to try out for it. When I saw him in gym class, he was clearing out his locker because the baseball team had started playing actual games now, and team members all went to last period gym. I was surprised when he called my name. "Larry, how come you didn't try out for the team?" I looked over at him. He was about fifteen feet away away from me. His tone of voice, and the way he was sitting, didn't suggest that he was going to try to bait me into another fight. Still, I couldn't be sure. I decided to treat his question as if it were an overture on his part to reestablish a less hostile relationship with me. "I don't have the time this year, plus, I haven't touched a ball since last summer." "Want to throw some to me at the park after five? I'm not getting much practice on the team. I'm only third string this year." "Maybe for an hour, but don't expect much. I'm not sure I can get my arm loosened up in an hour." "At five, don't forget, okay?" "Okay." That had been unexpected. I figured it also had something to do with his breaking up with Denise. I missed playing games with the guys. I had been spending so much time with all of the other junk in my life, that I had gotten away from the fun of playing ball or even having a chance to hang out with guys. I was looking forward to throwing a baseball again. I wouldn't mind seeing about getting back to playing some baseball again, if I could shake off my rustiness. I walked home right after school, wanting to see if I needed to do anything to my glove before five. As soon as I turned the corner to go by Clara's house, I saw her sitting on the steps again with her mother. They were talking to each other, but Clara had been watching me ever since I had come into view. When I got closer, Mrs. Townsend stopped talking to Clara. "Hi, Larry." "Hi, Clara. Hi, Mrs. Townsend." I stopped in front of them, but stayed on the sidewalk. "Will you tell my mom what you said to me yesterday, Larry. She doesn't believe me." "That I remembered your birthday?" Clara blushed. "No, the other part. Why you remember it." "Because I love you?" "Yes, that's the part! See? I told you he said it." Clara had stood up and was smiling at me, and then turning back to her mom. Her mother stood up and wiped her hands on her dress. She was looking at Clara, but she also looked over at me a few times too. "Are you still trying to get her in bed with you, Larry? Is that what you want? You don't have to tell her that to get her to do it with you." She went up two of the stairs, until she stood on the little landing in front of her door. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to see Clara, Larry. Too much has happened that can't ever be undone. You both should just keep to your separate lives. Clara's having a hard enough time already, trying to live down her mistakes. Don't give her any false hopes, not where you're concerned." "My sister is living in Hungary now. What she did wasn't good, and that's what my parents decided to do. I miss her, and I still love her. I miss Clara, and I still love her too. I won't try to do anything with Clara if you tell me not to, but I can't help it if I still love her, anymore than I can help loving Kate." I started walking away from Clara's house. I wasn't disappointed over, or even surprised by, Clara's mom's reaction to my wanting to see Clara. My parents had hoped and believed that uprooting Kate would solve all of her problems. From her last letter, that wasn't working as well as they had hoped it would. Kate had to want to change before she ever would. Clara did too. I wasn't going to stop my feelings for either of them. If they changed, I'd welcome it, but my loving them wasn't something that I could turn on and off like a faucet. As I walked away, I heard Clara saying something angry to her mother. I didn't slow down. Like my own parents were with Kate, I knew that Clara's mom was trying her best for Clara. I got home and worked a little oil into the pocket of my glove. I tightened up the laces and pushed the padding back inside the pocket a little. I stood up and practices some throwing motions. I could tell it wasn't going to be easy to get my arm back in shape. I knew it was going to be pretty sore for the next few days. At four forty five, I left the house and walked over to the park. Bill didn't get there until five twenty, he said that practice ran longer than he expected. I had been playing some slow toss with a couple of the younger kids while I waited for him. We paced off the pitching distance, and we spent almost the whole hour just throwing the ball back and forth. I told him that I'd like to try to pitch him a few to see what my arm felt like. I stopped after throwing about five pitches. The last one had felt good until right after I released the ball. My arm was already sore, so I told Bill that I'd had enough. "Did you hear that Denise dumped me?" Bill had walked over to me, and was taking off his chest protector. He was speaking softly enough that no one else could hear him. "She said I didn't get her excited enough. I don't know how I was supposed to get her excited, when she wouldn't let me do anymore than kiss her. She didn't like the way I kissed her either. I liked her a lot too. When you dated her, did she let you do anything past kissing her?" "Like copping feels and stuff? I tried to put my hand on her boob at the movies, but she slapped it away." "Me too. She sure is pretty though. I think it was her friend, Karen, that kept after her to dump me. She never liked me because of when I said she had a big fat ass when we were in the sixth grade. You remember how chubby she was? She sure has a body on her now though. You dated her too, didn't you?" "A couple of times. She's the same way as Denise though. She just slaps harder." "How about Eileen? Did you ever get anywhere with her?" This wasn't a question I was comfortable with. Both of our fights had already been about Eileen. "I kissed her at my birthday dance, and talked to her about three other times. I don't know why you keep bringing her up to me. I haven't even seen her in about six months." "I just wanted you to know I'm sorry, and I don't care about her anymore. I wish I hadn't gotten all crazy over her. She never even liked me back. I kept hearing all this big talk from her, but she never even let me see her titties. She said she was going to too." "Maybe it was the cousin thing?" "Naw, she just didn't like me that way. Everybody else, just not me. How's your arm feeling?" "It's sore. I'm going to get my mom to put some linament on it, and then I'll get a hot towel to keep it warm. I should be good to throw some more by tomorrow, if you want to?" "Might as well. If we get here early, we might get up a game." "My dad makes me work for him around the house, three hours every Saturday, as a punishment." "For what? Still that house you wrecked?" "I never wrecked it, we just busted a few windows, that's all." "I heard it was totally wrecked." "Well, it wasn't. I have to make some money this summer, because I still owe him a ton." "You should go around your neighborhood and cut people's grass. I do it. Three bucks for front and back, that's pretty good money." "Do you trim and edge for that too?" "Sure, but it only takes a few minutes if you have some trimming shears. I can usually do a whole yard in less than two hours. Sometimes you even get tips." "I'll think about it. I don't like yard work, but I do need the money. I've got to go. I'll see you here tomorrow in the afternoon, maybe?" "Call me about fifteen minutes before you get done with your dad. Bring your bike, and we can go for a ride after too." I went home, and was just in time for supper. My father was surprised when I told him I'd been playing catch with Bill. I told him we were going to play again tomorrow after I finished my working for him. "I am done with working on Saturdays, Larry. You go play tomorrow. Let me have a morning to relax." After dinner, my mother showed me a letter from Kate. It wasn't that long, but, she had written some of it in Hungarian. My mother had to tell me what those words meant. Kate said she really missed the three of us and she wanted to know when she could come back home again. The tone of this letter was a lot different from her other two to me. "So, Katinka is now to the point where she is going to try to impress us that she is being good and that she can come home again. Laurant, do not expect your papa to relent anytime soon. Katinka will still be in Budapest for a long, long time yet. We get weekly letters from Zoli's sister, Marie, telling us how spoiled, and willful our little Katinka still is. What she wrote before, about those two boys? Marie assures us that they are only in Katinka's imagination. Katinka goes to school, and then comes right back to the apartment. She also works to take care of the apartment, as part of paying for her expenses. If she doesn't work, they don't feed her. Your papa has set strict rules for her life over there. She is finding it to be not to her liking. Marie said that Katinka didn't like her cooking when she first got there, so now Marie gives her the raw ingredients, and tells her to cook them for herself." I called Bill about my not needing to spend the morning working, and we decided to go for a bike ride early. After, we would go play some baseball. I could tell that my father was trying to encourage me to stay away from the girls. That was why he decided not to work me on Saturdays, so I could go play sports. Whatever the reason, I was happy to accept my newly free morning. My mom put some linament on my arm. It smelled bad, but I could feel the heat in my upper arm and shoulder. She also heated a damp towel for me in the oven which felt wonderful on my arm. Bill and I went out riding at around eight o'clock. When I stopped off back home at eleven, to tell my parents I was going over to Bill's for lunch, my parents were in their bedroom, and the door was shut. I smiled to myself when I saw it. I knew that things were going to get better around my house now. At Bill's house, I saw his sister, Jane, for the first time in months. We both said hi to each other, but that was about it. I still remembered that day on the sofa though. She had grown up a lot since I saw her last. I would have tried to talk to her some if it hadn't been for Bill standing right beside us. I didn't want to get him all riled up again, so I went with him to wash my hands for lunch. Mrs. Terry, Bill's mom, made us hot dogs with relish, mustard and onions. Bill also had cheese on his dogs, but I didn't want to spoil mine. Bill made a joke about Jane liking her wieners plain, but his mom jumped on him for being so vulgar at the dinner table. Jane made a face at him, but she didn't seem mad or embarrassed by him saying that to her. Now that she was thirteen, Jane was looking very interesting. Too bad that Bill was her brother. When I got back home, at around five, mom and dad were still in the bedroom, and the door was still closed. Rather than disturb them, I went and fixed myself a snack to tide me over for dinner. I made myself a raw onion sandwich, with a lot of my mom's homemade mayonnaise on it. I was finishing it up, and thinking about making one more, when my mother came out of the bedroom. She looked like she had just gotten up. Her hair hadn't even been brushed. "Did you call in sick today, Anyu? Your cheeks look like you might be running a fever." "Don't try to be funny, Laurant. My new Saturday classes don't start for another week, as I'm sure you know." "You and papa must not have gotten much sleep last night. Both of you needing such a long nap." My mother blushed. She looked like she was going to be mad at me, but, instead, she just smiled at me. "It was a good nap. Your papa is still asleep. Why don't you go bring me my purse so I can give you money to go out to the movie tonight?" I went in the living room and got it off of the chair where she always left it. She handed me ten dollars from her wallet. "Get something to eat at Frank's too. I don't feel like cooking tonight. Don't stay out too late either, we all have church tomorrow." I took the money and told her thank you. Ten bucks. She must really have wanted me out of the house to give me so much. I went to the phone and called Bill. "Hey, you want to go to the movies tonight?" "Promise to keep your hands to yourself?" "You are really disgusting. Yes or no?" "Let me ask my mom." Bill was gone for about five minutes. "She says I can't go, sorry." "How come?" "She says I didn't clean my room all week. We had this deal. She won't even let me go if I clean it now, I already asked her." "It's two Abbott & Costello movies, are you sure?" "Oh, damn, which two?" "The Mummy one and the Jeckyl and Hyde one. Those are both good." "Abbott & Costello Meet the Mummy? I never saw that one! I've been waiting to see it too. It's old, but I always miss it. Let me ask her again." He was gone about five more minutes this time. "Nope, she says no. Why don't you come over here instead?" "My mom gave me money for the movies and to get something to eat. If I don't do that, she'll take it back. It's ten bucks too." "You're so lucky. I have to make my own movie money, else I can't ever go. Come over before you go. You didn't see my room since before it got changed." I went back to Bill's house again. I figured he really wanted me there so he could use me to try and get his mother to let him go too. We both used to do that a lot. It worked sometimes too. After I got there, Bill kept talking to me about those movies. I had already seen them both, but they were still funny, no matter how many times you saw them. "Ma, it isn't fair. You should have reminded me before. I had practice every day, and homework to do. I'd have done it if I knew what was playing. Let me go, and I promise I'll clean my room up real good, tomorrow. I'll pull up the rug, and take it outside and beat it with my bat. I'll mop my floor too. Please?" "Billy, be good now. You've already asked me fifty times. I'm not letting you go. You need to learn that a deal is a deal. I bet Larry's mother doesn't have to clear a path every time she needs to get to his dresser." "But this time it's different. I've been waiting for a whole year for this picture to come back and play again." "It's always that way with you. When it's something I want, you can't be bothered. When you want it, I should move heaven and earth to get it for you. I'm tired of that Billy. It's past time you learned to be responsible." "Mrs. Terry, I don't mean to butt in here, but my parents send me to the movies so they can have some time to themselves. They don't do it because I want to go see a movie. If you let Bill go with me, I'll treat him to a burger and a Coke at Frank's, and you won't even need to cook anything." "Well we'll still want to eat, and besides, Jane will still be here, won't she?" I looked over at Bill. I could tell he was counting on me to help convince his mom to let him go. "If you let him go, we'll take Jane too, and besides, you can make him do his room tomorrow." "I doubt that Jane would want to go to see those two movies. Besides, I'm trying to teach Billy to be more responsible." "Let me ask her, ma. She likes Fatty and Skinny too, I bet. If she wants to go, can we?" "Go ask her. If she really wants to go, you can. Don't try to force her, if she doesn't want to go. I wouldn't mind going out to eat myself tonight, if your father ever decides to quit fishing, and comes back home." Mr. Terry spent a lot of time fishing on the weekends. Bill ran off looking for Jane. I waited with Bill's mom. "Do your parents really send you to the movies so they can be alone?" "Sure. I bet my mom has got something planned with my father right now. She might even get him to dance with her. He's shy around people when he dances." "What about Kate?" She must not have heard about Kate. I needed to word what I told her precisely. "She's out of town, visiting some family friends." "I think I heard something about that, Larry. Is she going to be visiting for long?" "My mother said it would probably be awhile, but I don't know for sure." I looked at her, hoping she wasn't going to try to pursue this any further. "Children are such a trial." "Yes, Ma'am." "I've always liked you, Larry. We've all missed having you around. I'm glad that you and Billy patched up your differences now. Are you sure you won't mind having Jane tagging along with you?" "Naw. For these kinds of movies, the more people laughing, the better the movie seems." Bill came running back. "Jane wants to go. I didn't talk her into it either." "Get me my purse, Billy." He ran back out of the room to get it. when he got back, she went through it until she found her coin purse. She snapped it open, and took out a five dollar bill, which she handed to me. "Buy Jane's dinner, and pay for her movie, Larry. Billy, do you have your own money? I don't want you mooching off of Larry." "He said he'd buy me dinner already." "Either you pay your own way, or else stay home. Which is it going to be?" Larry looked at me for some help. "Mrs. Terry, my mother wanted me to buy Bill's dinner, on account of me having lunch over here. She might get mad if I don't do it." "If you're sure? It isn't necessary. Billy has his own money, although he hates to ever spend any of it. He takes after his father that way." "I'm sure. That's what she wants." "Well, all right then, I guess. Billy you watch out for your sister. You make sure she has a good time, and sits with you boys. I don't want to hear any reports about you acting the fool either. You hear me?" Bill was anxious to leave before his mom had a change of heart. He made the fifteen minutes we waited for Jane to get ready, pretty tense. He was almost beside himself, when she finally made her appearance. She had gotten herself all dressed up. I was sure that she was wearing one of her best dresses. It looked like something she might wear to church, or to a nice restaurant. She looked very nice. "Cripes sakes, Jane! It's only a movie. Look what we're wearing compared to you. You should change into pants." Bill was looking at me looking at his sister. I had to say something. "You look very nice, Jane. You don't need to change on my account. Don't worry Bill, you can sit in the middle." Bill's mom just laughed at all of us. "What's the matter, Bill, afraid Larry won't share his popcorn with you, now that Jane's coming too? Larry don't let Billy keep you from sitting with Sissy if you want to. It isn't everyday that she gets asked out to the movie. Bill, I better not hear of you saying or doing anything to make your sister feel bad either." She then turned to Jane. "Baby, you look very nice. Don't let Billy fool you. He's just afraid that Larry will like you better than him. Then he won't have anyone to play with again. Remember what I told you, Billy, and you better do a real good job on that room of yours tomorrow too." We all got out of their soon after. Bill was mumbling to himself all the way to Frank's. When I let him get the chicken dinner instead of a hamburger though, he quieted right down. I told Jane to get anything she wanted to. She and I had the big burger deal, the one that came with a large fries and a shake. She liked the strawberry, and so did I. Bill wanted a shake too, but I told him he'd have to pay the difference himself. He got the Coke. I let him have about half of my fries, after he wolfed all of his down, even before eating his chicken. Bill was a big eater. While he was busy eating, Jane filled me in on things at the junior high. She obviously knew about Kate and Clara's problems, and refrained from bringing any of that up. She started talking about the elementary school kids too, and I was surprised that she mentioned Trudie's name as soon as she began talking. "Trudie Bowman, Denise's sister?" Bill had suddenly tuned himself back into our conversation. Jane was just telling me about how she was getting a reputation for being wild. Jane nodded that it was, telling both of us now that Trudie had been seen kissing a lot of boys right in the hallways and in the classrooms at the elementary school, and had been coming over to the junior high lately as well. "She's gotten so fast in the past few months, and she's only a sixth grader. I bet you wish Denise was like that, don't you Bill?" "I don't care what Denise is like, Pest, she and I broke up already. How do you know she wasn't like that, anyways? Maybe she's the one that taught Trudie. Did you ever stop to consider that?" "If she was like that, you wouldn't have ever broken up with her." "I didn't say it was my choice. Mind your own business." On that note, the three of us got up and left our booth. We went over to the movies and bought our tickets. I used the rest of Bill's mom's money to buy Jane's ticket, and paid for Bill and I from the change from my mom's money. Bill was happy that I bought his ticket too. He thanked me for doing it. "Just remember not to slap me when I cop a feel of those big boobies of yours." Bill was sputtering, at a loss for words. For a minute I thought he was going to punch my arm. Jane's laughter probably saved me from it. "You can feel Jane's instead, but then we're all square." Now it was Jane's turn to get uncomfortable. I got a little embarrassed for her. "Why is it that you always manage to say the wrong thing, Bill? You would think you could get something right, at least once in awhile, just because of the law of averages, but you never do. I bet that's what made Denise decide to break up with you." For Jane, that was a mouthful. She was usually quiet around Bill. "You don't know what you're talking about. I was making a joke. You ever hear of that? A joke. Don't get all up on your high horse, and pretend that you'd mind it all that much. You're just mad because I said it." "Bill, it wasn't funny, and it wasn't nice. Now you've made her self conscious. Don't worry, Jane, Bill was just being Bill. I started it too, so I'm sorry about that." "That's all right, Larry. It isn't Bill's place to say things like that about me, to you, or to anyone else. He thinks he's so funny. I bet he wouldn't like it if I said things like that about him." We were inside the theater, looking for seats. All the lights were still on, and everyone there was looking around to see who else was there. Because of the older movies, and the type of movies they showed on Saturday nights, it was mostly young kids who went then. They were still usually older than the matinee crowd. The balcony was open for the night movie though, so a lot of kids went up there. Not usually in order to make out, they went up there to throw things down, and to annoy people by doing that. Friday was make out night, Saturday was make out for the older people, and horsing around for the younger ones. It was usually the young ones who sat in the first three rows of the balcony. We got seats about halfway down on the lower part, right in the middle. As soon as we sat down, someone asked Bill who his new girlfriend was. Instead of telling the guy it was his sister, Bill said it wasn't his date, it was mine. He said he was only sitting where he was because we were talking about something. He made a big deal about getting up and making Jane switch places with him. It was a little awkward, but Jane and I didn't say anything to Bill. We let him run the show. After the first movie was over, there was an intermission, and Bill went over to talk to a couple guys who were on the baseball team with him. While he was gone, Jane and I sat there trying to talk. The kids around us were all talking at once. Each one was trying to speak loud enough to be heard over everyone else. I leaned in closer to ask Jane if she had enjoyed the first movie. She nodded enthusiastically saying that she had. I leaned in again to ask her if she wanted to go get a candy bar or something. As I did so, I noticed Bill hurrying back over to us. He looked like he was upset. "Are you making out with my sister with the lights up?" He didn't exactly shout it, but he said it loud enough that a few heads turned our way. "No, why did you even think I was?" "Because I saw you putting your lips right on her neck, that's why." "It's pretty loud in here Bill, I moved closer so she could hear me when I asked her if she wanted something from the concession stand." "Oh. Did she? I wouldn't mind some Necco Wafers. Especially if you're paying for them." I handed him a quarter. Jane got a Zag Nut Bar, I got a Bit o Honey, and Bill bought himself the Necco Wafers. I had to remind him about giving me back the dime change. By the time he got back, the second movie was just starting. When the movie was over, Bill wanted to go back to Frank's to get something to eat. I told him it was his turn to pay for the rest of us. He decided that it was too late to go out for a snack. We walked home. When we got to the street where Bill and Jane lived, I said good night to the both of them, and walked home alone. Because of the way Bill had acted earlier, I just waved to the two of them and said good night. I didn't want to have more problems with Bill over Jane. After I left them, I changed my route a little bit so that I'd walk by Clara's house. It was late, so I figured she would be asleep. Her house was dark when I passed by it. Sunday, after we got back from church, I walked past Clara's house again, but she didn't come out. Later, I rode my bike over to Bill's house and we played catch again. I pitched about fifty pitches to him from the mound that he and his dad had built in the backyard. I was wild, but it felt like my fastball had gotten a little faster. Bill said that it had, and he was a better judge of that than I was. Jane came out and watched us for awhile as I pitched. When Bill went in to use the bathroom, she thanked me again for taking her out the night before. I just told her that she was welcome. "We should go sometime, just you and I, Larry." She blushed as she blurted that out at me. "I'd like that, Jane, except that Bill and I have a deal now about us not dating each others sisters." "Is that why you and Bill stopped being friends before?" "Part of it. Part of it was we both liked the same girl." "Eileen, right?" "I can't remember her name. It was just a misunderstanding anyway." "Suppose I got Bill to change his mind about you taking me out?" "I'm not really dating anymore, Jane. It got to be too complicated. I'm probably going to wait until I'm a junior before I start doing much of it again." I could tell she thought it was really her that I didn't like, that I was just making excuses. "If you could really get Bill to say it was all right, and mean it, I would like to take you to another movie sometime." "You mean it? Don't say you will if you don't really want to do it. I'm not that hard up for a date." "I mean it. You have to fix it with Bill though. If he's going to be mad about it, though, I don't want to make him mad again." Just then, Bill came back, and we started pitching again. Jane went inside. "Your sister wants me to take her to the movies sometime. Just the two of us." "We have a deal, Larry." "I know it, and I told her that. She said if you didn't mind it." "I do mind. You don't need to date her, and she doesn't need to date you either." "I just told you so you wouldn't think I was sneaking around, trying to break our agreement." "Okay. You've told me. She's going to be pestering me about it now. I was hoping we could just be friends again, without any of this other stuff starting up again." "We can, Bill. I didn't want her feeling bad, or thinking it was something wrong with her." "Why don't you go out with Denise again? She still likes you I think." "I don't like her. She said some mean things about Kate." "She told me not to believe you if you started saying things about what you guys did together. That's why I was a little surprised when you said she slapped your hands. She let me feel her up pretty good sometimes." "Well, now you're changing your story, aren't you. First liar doesn't have a chance." "I'm not lying. I just wanted to see if you'd admit to doing anything with her." "I told you what we did. A lot of kissing, and then she slapped me when I tried to touch her boob." "You never went further? You should admit it if you did. I wouldn't be mad." "You're starting it up again, Bill. Don't talk yourself into believing what you're only worried about. I haven't talked to Denise since she said those bad things about Kate. The only reason I knew you two were going out was because Karen mentioned it once at lunch." "It doesn't make sense, Larry. She liked you way better than me. She even told me that when she broke up with me. You claim you never even felt her up, but she let me finger bang her. How do you explain that?" "I can't explain it. Also, I find it hard to believe. Why would she let you do that to her when she stopped me cold? Either you're a liar, or else she must have liked you more than you thought. Girls say things when they're upset with a guy. You ever think she might have been lying about not liking you as much as me? Lying because she wanted you to feel bad?" "I don't believe you, Larry. You aren't going to tell me the truth though, are you?" "I already did, Bill. But, I think I'm going to ask Denise out again, just to see if she'll let me feel her up now. Why don't you ask Karen out too? I never had any luck with her either." "She'd probably go out with you, too. That would make me mad. I'd know for sure that she was doing things with you now. We have to quit talking about girls we've both dated, Larry. I can't help it that I get jealous." "Bill, I never liked to talk about it. Now, when you start bragging about stuff you got to do, I like it even less. You're right. No more discussing that stuff." I left Bill's house right after that, riding my bike past Clara's house again. I wondered if I had said anything the last time that was going to upset her again. When I got home, I decided to call over to Clara's house. Naturally, her mom answered the phone. "Hello Mrs. Townsend, this is Larry. May I speak with Clara?" "No, Larry, you certainly may not. Why don't you ask your mother to call me, Larry. This has gone on long enough. I've tried to be reasonable, but you refuse to listen to reason." "If you want to hold on, I'll go get her." "Just have her call me. Don't call here again unless your mother tells you it's permitted." She hung up the phone, not even waiting for me to reply. I went down to the basement when I couldn't find my mother anywhere else. She was down there with my father, talking to him while he tried to get one of his projects working again. I didn't know what this one was until my father saw me looking at it and told me it was something called a frequency counter. That told me nothing either. My mother turned to look at me. "Mrs. Townsend wants you to call her. She didn't like me calling and asking to speak with Clara." My father made one of his faces. This was the one where he pretended to be hit on the head. It was supposed to tell me that he didn't like what I was telling my mother. "Didn't you know she wouldn't like that?" "Yes. I thought Clara would like it though. I wasn't going to try to do anything. I just wanted to talk to her, and try to be her friend." "Did you tell that to Clara's mother?" "No. She wouldn't have cared though. She doesn't like me anymore. Not since what Clara and Kate did." "This is natural for her, Laurant. She is a mother. She wants to protect Clara. What could I say to her that would change how she feels?" "I don't know. Tell her I love Clara, that I don't want to make it worse for her. Tell her I'll only talk to her on the phone if that's what she wants." "What if she tells me that even that is too much, unacceptable to her?" "Tell her that I'm still going to love Clara." "If that too is unacceptable to her?" "I'm still going to love her." ------- Chapter 40 My mother went upstairs. I wanted to follow her, mostly because I was anxious to find out if she was going to try to help me with Mrs. Townsend. My father stopped me. While I waited downstairs, my father began, what I at first believed, was going to be a lecture. He was already well into it before I realized it was something else entirely. "Larry, Clara doesn't need a boyfriend right now. She does need a friend though. Your mama and I have spoken of this, and we are both agreed that this is all you can be to her right now. Do you love her enough to only be her friend?" "I already am her friend. I just want to be able to see her, and talk to her. I know we can't do any of that other stuff. Not now, at least." "I'm not sure it would ever be good for the two of you to be more than friends, Larry. If you want what is best for Clara, then try to be her friend. There are other girls for you, and there will be other boys for Clara, in time as well. If you are going to be anything to her, be her friend only." My father was telling me his terms for allowing me to see and talk with Clara. The way he was saying it was quiet and calm, but I knew that he was putting his own, strict conditions, on any future relationship that Clara and I might be allowed. With my mother, I might have tried to improve on those conditions. I already knew my father wouldn't budge. "Larry, before you give me your answer, think of what Katinka needs most. Is that a lover? Clara is no different than Katinka in regards to her needs. What would you want for your sister?" My father had already decided. My mother had told me before how upset my father had been by my use of Agnes's apartment, especially after my getting caught that first time. She had also spoken of how close I'd come to being sent to Hungary along with Kate. If he had asked me to give up every other girl, and just be with Clara, I'd have happily agreed to doing that. Even if I accepted his offer, I wasn't sure that I would honor his terms for it. I wanted Clara. I wanted her in all ways, not just in friendship. She was mine! As soon as that thought surfaced, I knew I was starting to act just like Kate had. I hated it when she kept pushing, but I was reacting the same way she did, when I was offered less than I wanted. It had never worked out to her benefit. Why should I believe it would be any different for me?" "I love her, papa. She isn't like those other girls to me. I need to be around her in order to feel all right." "Larry, what's more important to you? Is it Clara, or what you want? You have to make that choice, and when you do, you have to live with, and stay true to that decision. This is important to Clara, to her mama, your mama, and to me also. We need to be able to trust that you will do what we all think is best. Do what we ask for now, and, when you both are older, if you still feel the same way, we'll all sit down and discuss it again." I wasn't in any position to bargain with him. I hadn't made it any secret about how much I was missing Clara. They hadn't even given me any firm ideas about what they would allow in this new friendship. Apparently, that wouldn't be known unless I did decide to accept their offer. Was Mrs. Townsend going to allow me anything when it came to Clara? I didn't even know whether they had already worked something out or not. Mrs. Townsend had mentioned to me that I couldn't call again until my mother told me it was permitted. My father had told me that he and my mother had already discussed all of this, and had agreed on this decision he was telling me about. My own earlier efforts to see and talk to Clara hadn't been progressing that well. This way, I'd be able to see her at least. "Can I agree to it for now, and then change my mind later?" "Change your mind before you do something you've agreed not to do, Larry, or after?" "Before." "Yes, but only as long as it really is before. If you break these rules, there won't be any excuses accepted, Larry, none. If you decide to disappoint me in this regard, you will find yourself in a similar predicament to the one your sister now faces. This is a promise that your mama has already made to me. Think about that before you decide. You insist on acting as if you were a man already, Larry. I got your travel documents too, at the same time we were getting them for your sister. You will no longer be punished as if you were still a boy. A few years on a Hungarian farm will make a man of you, if you prove to be unable to live up to any of your promises." My mother came down to the basement. She was standing right there as my father was explaining this last part to me. I could see that his words were having an effect on her, emotionally, but she didn't contradict him. I knew how hard it had been for her to let Kate be sent to Hungary. I found it hard to believe that she would agree to letting me be sent there as well. There had to be a good reason why she had done that. "Laurant, I spoke with Clara's mother. We have spoken, the two of us, many times since Katinka went to stay in Hungary. All she has left is Clara now. Clara, who is extremely sad and unhappy, and who refuses to consent to getting any help or treatment for her problems. For a mother, there is no sound that can be more terrible than listening to your children suffering. Unless, it is not being there to even hear that child suffering." She gave my father that look of hers, her eyes more closed than open, when she said that. They may have agreed on things like my father claimed, but it hadn't been achieved without some coercion on his part. "Elza, you promised." My father stared back at my mother, not deterred by her look. He wanted her to keep her emotions out of the discussion we were having. "I have spoken to her of this friendship idea your papa proposes. I think it would help Clara, and I know it would be better this way for you. Your papa suggested that we get your promise to remain only friends, without any physical contact. I have gotten him to agree to allow the two of you some hand holding and chaste kisses. Only for hello and goodbye, not romantic kisses. Clara has to first agree to meet with someone to discuss her problems. A professional person. If she agrees to do this, her mother will allow your friendship. You must remain in the company of one of us at all times when you are together. No going off alone, no trying to sneak off. Laurant, I think this would be good for you too, because you need to learn about real friendship. Lust and passion are not the same as friendship. As much as Clara needs a friend right now, your papa and I believe that you might need one just as much." "I told papa I would try it, but I might change my mind if it gets to be too hard for me to control myself with her. I don't know if I can only be friends with her. When I'm with her, something strong happens to me. It happens with her too, I've seen it happen." "Laurant, you know what will happen if you can't control yourself. On this, I am in agreement with your papa. You need to learn how to control yourself. Katinka is learning that now. That isn't how I want you to have to learn it. If you agree to papa's terms, go call Clara, ask her if she agrees to her mother's terms for her." "What if she refuses?" "Things will stay the same. If she cares enough for you, she won't refuse. If she does refuse, that might prove better than the way things are right now." I went upstairs and dialed Clara's number. She picked up the phone after the first ring. "Larry?" "Yes, how are you? Did your mom talk to you about what you need to do?" "She wants me to go see a Doctor, and talk to him about those things I've done. She thinks I'm crazy." "She loves you. It's the only way they'll let us talk to each other. I love you too, Clara, and I've missed you." "I would be too embarrassed to go see him. I don't want to talk about my private things with some old doctor." "Okay, then. It's your decision to make. I'll still love you anyway. I really wish we could be friends again." "Larry, do you ever talk to Kate?" "No. It costs too much, and they don't have a telephone where she is anyway. She write sometimes." "Can you tell me her address?" "No. Listen, Clara, I've got to hang up now. I'm sorry that you won't do what your mother asks." I put the receiver down and went back to my bedroom. I was very sad after talking to Clara. In my mind, I had believed that I really wanted to talk with her, even if that was all I was ever allowed. I had just found out that I really wanted her to need to talk to me as much as I needed to talk to her. Without that, my father's deal wasn't going to be good enough. I still loved her, but now I knew that I had been mistaken believing that her feelings for me were stronger than the ones she had for Kate. I loved Kate, and I loved Clara. I didn't want to risk being sent away just so they could use me to try to stay in touch with each other. I used up all of the hot water in the shower because of how long I took in there. After I got out, I was in bed reading, when my mom knocked on my door. I told her she could come in. It only took her about one second to see that the phone call to Clara hadn't been a success. I guess my eyes were still red from my shower. They were sore too, so it started me crying again. My mom shut the door and left me alone. Two days later, Clara agreed to go see a therapist, but by then, I was really ready to just be her friend. I knew now that I wasn't as important to her as Kate was. I was getting adjusted to it. In some ways, it made it easier for me to control myself with her. When my mom told me that Clara was going to see someone on Thursday, I told her that I'd wait until after she kept her appointment to call her. "Call her now, Larry. Support her decision. She is your friend, and that is what friends do for each other." I went and called her. Mrs. Townsend answered the phone. "I'll get her for you, Larry, but be careful with her. She is very fragile right now. Anything you say to her might cause her to cancel the appointment." She went and got Clara. I didn't say anything else in response to what she had asked me to do. "Larry?" "Hi. Look, let's not talk about Kate for now. I know you miss her, but I want to talk about us right now." "You sound like my mother. There isn't anything wrong with me. Kate and I messed up, and we're both sorry. That doesn't mean I'm crazy. I'm going to go see this guy, okay? My mom made the appointment already. You sounded mad at me when we talked before. Does that mean you think I'm crazy too?" "No. I don't think Kate's crazy either. But, we aren't talking about Kate, sorry. If you go talk to the doctor, maybe he can help you. Unless you already know why you wanted to do that thing you got caught doing?" "We were playing. We wanted to see what it would be like doing it with that many. It wasn't any better than with just one though. I was disappointed, and so was Kate. Boys don't know that much about what girls like. If they hadn't caught us, we might have just quit doing things with boys after that." "Did you tell your mother that?" "I told her, but that seemed to make her even madder at me. I think the real reason she wants me to go to this man is because she's afraid I only like girls now." "Well, that's how you make it sound sometimes. You make it seem like boys don't appeal to you." "I'm hoping that it might be a whole lot better with you, Larry. If it wasn't, then, at least I'd know it wasn't ever going to be good. I'm pretty sure if it wasn't good with you, it wouldn't be good with any boy. You already made me get my tingle with your tongue, almost as good as Kate does. Those other boys didn't even try to make it good for us." "Everybody says we need to just be friends for now. I want to be your friend. I love you, and I like it when we can at least talk to each other." "But you don't want to do it to me now?" "Actually, I'd love to. I'm even pretty sure we could do it so that you loved it. I know I'd love it, because I love you. If I did do it with you though, I'll be sent to Hungary, like Kate." "I wish we could both go there. I miss her so much." "I miss her too, but I wouldn't want to go to Hungary to be near her. How are the people treating you at school? Lots of problems?" "No. People mostly just leave me alone. Some of the boys make fun of me, and call me names, but that doesn't ever last too long because the teachers hear them when they do it. I don't get invited to any parties or anything anymore. I thought it was going to be really bad, but it hasn't been too bad." "I've got to go do some homework. We've got exams coming up starting next week, and I haven't written my History paper yet either." "Are you going to come see me, Larry? That's better than talking on the phone." "Maybe this weekend if your mom lets me. Did you hear that one of our parents are going to need to be there in the room with us the whole time?" "Yes. That's stupid too. As worried as my mom is about me liking girls only, you'd think she would want you to try to make me like boys better." "I can make you like it, Clara. You always liked it when we messed around before. I'm worried that even if you loved it, you'd still want to do it with girls." "Just with Kate. She's the only girl I ever felt comfortable with. I couldn't just love girls. I've had dreams about you since I was eleven. Don't think like that, Larry. You're the only one that I trust anymore. It means a lot to me that you still love me." "Ask your mom about this weekend. I'd like to see you too." After we hung up, I felt better about the friendship idea. I was just being selfish before. It wasn't like I was competing with Kate anyway. She just loved Kate more than she loved me. I already knew she loved Kate, just not how much before. She didn't love anyone else more than me, only Kate. At least, she hadn't ever said anything to make me believe she did. Kate had told me that too, that Clara loved her better than me. This would just make it easier to be just friends with her for now. Another thing that made me feel better, was that she hadn't enjoyed doing it with those other boys. I had never been with a girl like that, where one of us didn't enjoy it. What she and Kate had done didn't seem so bad to me now, not if she hadn't enjoyed it. Kate hadn't told me that she didn't like it, when she had talked about her and Clara doing it with all those boys. I was guessing that Kate's reaction hadn't been that far off from Clara's. If anything, I thought Kate liked doing things with girls better than Clara did. She did seem to enjoy that time with Bill though. I didn't think Clara had anything wrong with her mentally either. Not unless her loving Kate so much was having something wrong with you. Kate had alsways been able to get Clara to do things. If Clara had only loved me, and not Kate, and then she had done that, I probably wouldn't have been able to accept or forgive that. Since she obviously loved Kate better than me, what they had done together with those boys didn't bother me quite so much. I really believed that. I might just have been rationalizing things, but maybe that was necessary too, if I still wanted to be part of Clara's life. I did. Given the choice of my only being her second favorite or me being out of her life completely, I'd take being second favorite. I hadn't even had my turn up to bat with her yet. I believed that once we did it, things would get better with us. Let me get a few turns with her, then I'd ask her again. Even if it was still Kate that was in front, and me that was still behind, I'd, at the very least, be her favorite boy. When Clara and I had been alone together, she had been aroused. More than Denise had been, As much as Karen or Trudie. There was only the little problem of me securing my father's permission to try to find out if, after I did it to her, I'd be Clara's new favorite. I wasn't going to risk being sent to Hungary for doing it to her. Of the three parents concerned, I figured my father would be the hardest to get permission from. I wasn't in any big hurry though. I didn't need to rush things with Clara. Let it develop slowly. After I finished my little reverie about Clara, I started trying to count up just how long it had been since I had gotten any sex from anyone. At least three months. Since that time when the rubber broke with Karen. I had been taking matters into my own hands, with some regularity, but it sure wasn't the same. My father hadn't threatened me with being sent to Hungary for doing it with other girls, only with Clara. I wondered how hard it would be to broach the subject of trying to get some time to myself in Agnes's apartment. I also wondered if Agnes would feel compelled to share the information about my making a request with my mom. If she did, I didn't think my mother would run over right away and tell my father about it. The only other thing I could think of was to risk doing it outdoors. If I decided to do that, I'd probably ask Eileen. I thought I should call her soon anyway. On Thursday, after my dance lesson at the studio, my final dance class until the end of summer vacation, I told my mom I wasn't going to ride home with her because I needed to go to the library. I did go there, and got the two books I needed for writing my History paper. After I did that, I went over to my aunt's apartment. She seemed surprised to see me, until I told her about my needing to go to the library to get some books. I asked her if I could use her bathroom, because that was going to be my excuse for coming over there. When I got finished, I came out to the little kitchen area where Agnes was cooking something. I think she was just browning some onions, but it smelled good. "Did you want to ask me something, Larry?" Well, so much for me surprising her. "You know my mom told my dad about you letting me use your apartment before?" "He and I have discussed it, yes. He wasn't very happy about it." "I know, but I'm not very happy about not having it anymore either." She laughed. "Your mama told me that she thought you and I would be having a conversation like this soon. She knows you so well, Larry." "I still have that key you gave me." "I am going to talk out loud for a minute, Larry, but you shouldn't listen to me." She looked right at me, laughing with her eyes, letting me know that what she was going to be saying wasn't anything that I could talk about, or repeat it to anyone as coming from her. This wasn't her talking to me. "I have classes everyday at four, Monday through Friday. On Tuesdays and Thursdays though, I have a class starting at three o'clock as well. After my class at four is finished, I help your mama with getting everything straightened out, and put back to where it belongs. I come back here at five fifteen, never before that. I also have a mattress pad over by my bed. I use it sometimes, to put it over my bed covers, for when my back is hurting, and I need to stretch it out. I don't like the sweat smell on my sheets, or the bed covers. If I ever came home, and I noticed that I'd left the mattress pad on my bed, I'd just go wash it, and then put it right back for my next use. Tuesdays and Thursdays, from three to five fifteen. You should walk home after though, rather than get a ride home with your mama." "I'm wondering out loud myself, about whether this is something that my mother needs to know about?" "Larry, a mother always knows. Your papa though, he won't know, not from your mama, and not from me. Your mama would know, Larry, even if I didn't tell her." "Well, I guess I will..." Agnes put up a hand and stopped me from speaking more. "Larry, I don't want to know about any of your plans. Be careful, be a gentleman, no matter what you decide to do." ------- Chapter 41 Clara went to her first appointment with the Doctor. She didn't like it. She said he kept asking her to tell him about how she felt about Kate and those boys. He asked her how she felt about her mom and dad getting a divorce too. He told her that she could talk about anything she wanted to, so she said she had mostly talked about school. He had just sat there, letting her waste most of the time for that first session. I spoke with her on Thursday day night, right after I finished eating dinner. With Kate gone, I had to clean off the dinner table and do all the dishes by myself. "Did you ask your mom about me coming over tomorrow?" We had been talking for about fifteen minutes, and she hadn't brought it up. I was wondering if she had forgotten to ask or something. "Yes. I thought I already told you. She says you can come over to see me anytime you want to, as long as she is here, and I've kept my appointments with Dr. Shriver. She's going to keep making me go to him. I told her what we talked about, but she says I still need to go." "I talked to my mom, and she says that your mom is mostly worried about you being so sad, and staying in your room all the time. She's afraid you might try to hurt yourself again." "Why should I? That's stupid too! I did that before because they were fighting all the time, and I hated that. I hardly even see my dad anymore." "Do you miss him? I missed mine when he left us." "Sometimes, but I sure don't miss all that yelling and fighting. It is more peaceful here now. Why did your dad leave?" "Because mom wouldn't let him send Kate to Hungary, and because she wouldn't stay home with us kids." "That's why Kate had to go, because of your father wanting it?" "They both agreed to it, finally, because my mother couldn't see any way she could just leave her business. She knew Kate wasn't going to stop doing things, and she knew she couldn't control her anymore. They almost sent me too, but my mom wouldn't let him do it to the both of us." "I'm glad they didn't send you too. How long is Kate going to be there for?" I believed that Clara had been working up to this, trying to pump me for any information I could give her about Kate. I resented it, a little, but not as much as I had before. "I think maybe for a couple of years. My dad told me that a few years on a Hungarian farm would straighten me right out. Kate has sent some letters to us, and it doesn't seem like she's changing very much. She won't be coming home until she has changed." "Did she ever ask about me?" "She asked me to say hi to you, from her. She knew she couldn't say much more than that though. I'm sure she misses you as much as you miss her." "I doubt it. She makes friends easier than I do. She probably already has new friends." "I hope so. I wouldn't want her to be too sad over there." "Is she going to at least come back for visits? Like at Christmas?" "It would cost too much. It's a long ways just for a two or three week visit. I think she'll only get back here when she is coming back for good." "I'll probably never see her again." "You'll see her again. They have to let her come back by the time she's twenty one, because she'll be an adult then. My mom isn't going to let it go on that long anyway. I wouldn't be that surprised if she gets my dad to let Kate come home before Christmas. Now that Kate knows what can happen if she doesn't stop messing around, doing things they tell her not to do, she will probably agree to be good if they let her come back." "She might agree, but I don't know if she'd mean it." "That's the problem. We all say we're going to be good, but we still do stuff anyway." "You mean me? What I told you before about waiting?" "I meant all of us. I've been caught doing stuff too." "I wanted to try to explain about why I did those things. Especially after telling you I'd wait for you. I know I told you that Kate and I were just playing, but it was more than that too. After we talked about us that time, I thought we had more of a boyfriend/girlfriend thing than we had before. Then, you just ignored me for the next week or so. You didn't even say hi to me when you came home from school, like you used to. You just ignored me completely. I didn't like that. I figured you just wanted me to not do things until you were ready for me, while you went ahead and had all the fun you wanted to. I didn't think you were being fair. So that was part of it too. And, I was really curious about it." "I wasn't trying to ignore you, Clara. There was something important that I was afraid about. I guess that's about all I was thinking about." "More important than me?" "No. I had something bad happen, and I was worried. I wasn't thinking of anything else, only that. I didn't do anything with any girls, or go out on any dates, the whole time I was waiting to find out." "Find out what?" "I had a rubber break when I was doing it with a girl." "Oh. I didn't know. Did you find out? I mean did she get pregnant?" "No, but it took two weeks before we knew that." "I didn't know." "You know, Clara, it probably wouldn't have made much of a difference to you. If Kate asked you to do it, you would have, no matter what." "You don't know that. I didn't always do what she told me to." "Usually." "Okay, that's fair. But, I guess I should also tell you now that it was my idea for us to do it with Keith and Leon that first time. Kate only did it with Keith, because I was already letting Leon do it to me. After, when I told Kate about how it wasn't that good with Leon, she said it was all right with Keith. The next time, I let Keith do it to me, while Kate did it with Leon. We each did it again after, with the other one, so we did it with both boys the second time. Kate said that it was better for her with two boys. Keith was better than Leon, but not by much. It still wasn't much fun to me. The next time was at school. Keith and Leon had told their friends about us, and they wanted us to do it with them too, or else they said they were going to tell on us. So, that's why we did it with that many boys. It was dirty and uncomfortable, where they took us, and it smelled like people had peed in there." "Look, Clara, you don't need to tell me about all of this." "I want to, so you'll know. They had us bend over, and they did it to us from behind. They just did it to us, not even finishing. A few pushes in, and then the next guy did it. Keith was the only one who made his mess, and that was while he was watching the other boys doing it to us. Leon was supposed to be outside, watching, in case a teacher came by, but, something must have happened, because we all got caught anyway. They called my mom, and she had to come get me. They only had your home number for your mom, and Kate didn't tell them about the phone number at the dance studio. When my mom got there, she told the principal that she'd take Kate home, and make sure your mom knew everything that had happened. We were all suspended for two weeks." "So, now that you've done it, does it change anything for you?" "I wish I had waited. Mostly, because it wasn't that good. I thought it would be a lot better, and you seemed to keep putting off doing it to me. We almost did it that one time, but after I chickened out, you didn't really try to do it after that. You were so busy with the high school girls. Kate told me on the phone about you slapping her, and then telling her that I was just as big a slut as she was. Are you going to slap me when you come over tomorrow? I know I probably deserve it." "No! I didn't slap Kate for what the two of you had done. She said something about being glad that my dad left, and then she said that it was what we all deserved for trying to keep her from doing what she wanted to do. That was what I slapped her for. She didn't care how bad she made things for everyone else, not as long as it meant she could do what she wanted to." "You could slap me, if you wanted to. No one ever has. At least that would be one first thing that I saved for you." "You didn't take any of the important firsts away from me. I'm still the first boy who ever loved you. I still want to be the first one who makes love with you. I didn't ever really want to just screw you." I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me. I didn't realize my mother had been standing there, listening in to my conversation. I thought I was going to be in a lot of trouble, but she came closer and just patted my back with her hand. I told Clara I had to hang up soon after that. I went out in the living room, looking for my mother. I was afraid she'd tell my father what Clara and I had been talking about. I wanted to explain the context of my remarks, so she wouldn't get the wrong idea. She wasn't there. I went down in the basement and found my mother and father wrapped up together on our old sofa that they kept down there. My mother watched as I came down the stairs. She had been crying. I figured I was in for it now with my dad. "Your mama tells me that you have learned something important, Larry. If she is correct, then we are both proud of you for learning this. You still cannot do what you were saying you wanted, but it is good that you understand the difference between making love and having sex. Both are enjoyable, but only one is enriching." I was a little angry at my mother for listening in like that, and also for rushing downstairs to tell my father. I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to get into an argument with either one of them. I settled for reminding myself to always be careful when I was talking on the phone at home. I was pretty sure that my parents considered my private conversations as being their business, but I didn't agree with them. I asked them if it would be all right for me to go over to Clara's house for a short visit. I'd already checked to make sure Clara's mom was going to be home too. They told me to go ahead, but not to be too late, or to overstay my welcome with Clara's mom. When I was let into Clara's house, I could see right away that Mrs. Townsend wasn't comfortable with my being there. We were all sitting in the living room, Clara was making small talk with me, and Clara's mom was sitting on an overstuffed chair, trying to read a magazine while we tried to talk. "This seems like it's making you uncomfortable Mrs. Townsend. Is there something we can do to make it less awkward for you?" "I'm not uncomfortable, Larry. I'm unhappy, and more than a little bit angry, but it's not because of you being here tonight. Clara went to her appointment today, but she didn't even try to cooperate with her doctor. Instead, she talked with him only about meaningless things for the whole hour." "She told me some of it. She's a little angry that you're making her go see him." I didn't see any reason for the three of us not to try to clear the air. If not, Clara and I might just as well speak on the phone instead of over at her house in person. "She agreed to go." Mrs. Townsend spat out the words, like an accusation. Clara then snapped at her mother. There was a lot of anger and resentment there in her voice when she spoke. "You made me! I never wanted to go." Mrs. Townsend seemed surprised that Clara would be angry with her too. "I'm not forcing you. You decided to go so that I'd agree to let you spend some time with Larry. I decided to let you, believing that you would make an honest effort with your doctor. Today, you made absolutely no effort. It was wasted time for both of you. Your father won't keep paying for these sessions, not if you don't at least try to get helped by them." "I don't need any help. I'm not going to be doing any of that again. It was a mistake. Can't you just accept that?" "Forgetting to bring home your math book is a mistake. Not remembering to brush your teeth is a mistake. Going into a room with five boys and letting them do those things to you, that isn't just some mistake! Normal thirteen year olds don't do things like that. The only reason I haven't been screaming at you, night and day, is that I'm afraid if I did, you'd go out and try to harm yourself even further. Do you think any of this has been easy for me?" There was a strong undercurrent of anger in both of their voices. I'd never heard Clara talk to her mom like she had. I'd never heard her mom like that with her either. This wasn't turning into a very good visit. I needed to think of something to say to get things back to where everyone wasn't angry at everyone else. "Clara, you went to see the doctor. You seem to want us to believe that you thought that's all your mom wanted when you two made that deal. I know that isn't what you really believe." Clara looked at me. Now she was upset because it sounded like I was taking her mother's side of things. "Your mom believes this doctor can help you. Tell her why you don't think he can." "Because I don't need help. I'm not crazy." "No, you aren't crazy. But, you are unhappy. Maybe that's what she wants you to get help with." "I'm unhappy because my life is all messed up. My best friend is thousands of miles away, and no one at school will even talk to me. My father left, and I can't even see the one person left around here that still wants to see me. Not unless I agree to talk about all my private stuff with some damn Doctor who doesn't know me. That's why I'm unhappy!" "Talk about that with the doctor. Talk about being unhappy. If you did that, I don't think your mom would care that you didn't want to talk about Kate or about those boys. Maybe she'd care later, if the doctor said it was important to make you feel better, but right now it's the fact that you're so sad and unhappy that scares her the most." I looked over at Clara's mom, waiting to see if she would contradict anything that I'd said. She didn't. We sat there, everyone not talking for two or three minutes. Finally, Clara spoke again. "Is that true, mom? I can just tell him about what's making me unhappy?" She asked the question without any angry inflections in her voice. This was a big improvement, I thought. Her mother must have thought so to, because when she replied, there was no anger in her voice either. "I don't want to be afraid for you all the time, Clara, wondering what you might decide to do. I want you to stop feeling bad about everything all the time. I want my happy girl back. If you talk to the doctor about what is making you unhappy, maybe he can help you to feel better about things. I just want you to feel better." "I don't want to tell him about Kate. Her being gone is a big part of why I'm unhappy." Clara started crying, and her mom came over to her. "Tell him only the parts about Kate that you want to tell him. He already knows, from me, about the other parts, and about what happened at the school. He wants to help you. To show you some ways to feel better about yourself, and about your future. He isn't trying to see if you are crazy, but he needs to find out what troubles you, in order to help you to make things better." I wasn't sure that I was buying everything that Mrs. Townsend was saying, and I was sure that Clara had a few misgivings about that too. The thing was though, just by talking, each of them was coming closer to reaching agreement on an accommodating position, one which would keep the other one, if not satisfied, at least, continuing on the course that we had all agreed on. "I'll talk to him the next time, but only about why I'm unhappy. I won't talk about some of the private things. Maybe I would later, if he helps me with these other things first." "If you do that, I'll be satisfied. Just help him to help you." She looked over at me from where she was kneeling right in front of Clara. I tried to smile, and appear happy with things. I was happy that they weren't still fighting. I wasn't happy that so much of my visit with Clara was spent on things that Clara and her mom really needed to work out together. "So, tell me, Larry, how do you know enough to do what you just did?" She was actually smiling at me. The first time she had smiled at me in months. "All I did was get the two of you to stop being mad at each other, and get you to listen to what each of you wanted. You were both thinking that each wanted different things of each other. I knew you loved Clara, and that your main concern was about her being so unhappy. Once Clara understood that, then the two of you could talk, to find out what things you could agree on, instead of just arguing about what you couldn't agree on. My dad does that a lot of times with my mother. She gets emotional, and he tries to calm her down, and then they look at the problem itself. Sometimes, that works. Sometimes, she winds up getting him all excited and emotional too, and then they really have a fight." "So, you take after your father then?" "No, I'm like my mother, when I'm upset. I've just noticed, over time, that, when it works, my mom and dad get their problems solved easier, and things get back to normal quicker." "I want to say thank you, for what you did tonight. Maybe, now that we got this first thing settled, we can work on all the other things. I could have used you around her when Clara's father and I were fighting. Things might have turned out differently." "It's never too late, that's what my dad says. He says that miracles can happen, when both sides sit down and talk together. Two years ago, when the workers at his company were all going to go on strike, my dad got the company president to go meet with the head union negotiator, alone, in a bar. They started talking, without everyone else being around that they had to show off in front of, and they worked out a deal together, in only a few hours. Maybe you should talk to Mr. Townsend, just the two of you, someplace that's neutral, like a restaurant, and see if you can work out a deal too." "Let me think about that. It might already be too late. We've been out on strike with each other for a long time. But, since you're right here, maybe you and I can work out our differences. The one thing I have against you, is that you make no bones about wanting to, and planning to, screw Clara. That isn't what a young girl's mother wants to hear. What do you have to say about that?" "It's true. I do want to, and I am planning on doing it someday. But, it's not the most important thing to me. If I do it now, my dad is going to send me to Hungary. You would probably stop letting me see Clara too, even if he didn't send me there. I already told Clara that I want to be the first boy to love her, and the first to make love with her. I'm already half way there. I can wait for the other half of it." "But, you wouldn't be the first." "No, not to screw her, but I'd be the first to make love to her. That's the first that I meant." Both of them were looking at me. Both of them were smiling. Clara reached out and took my hand, giving it a squeeze, and pulling it closer to her. "Almost, I wish you success, Larry, but only almost. Not right away either. I'm far too young to be made a grandmother, and, no matter how safe you think you are, accidents do happen." She didn't have to tell ME that! I decided to take advantage of how well things were currently going by moving closer to Clara and putting my arm around her. Her mom just smiled, and stood back up. She had been kneeling for quite a long time already. "I need to use the rest room. Do you two promise not to try to make me a grandmother while I'm gone?" "How long are you going to be gone?" I figured I'd joke with her a little. Before she had gotten mad at me, she seemed to like it. "Not that long! I'd take at least five minutes if I knew you two wouldn't get all carried away with things." "If I had ten minutes, I bet I could get her so hot that you'd stop worrying about her liking girls." "You aren't lacking for confidence, Larry, I'll give you that. How would I know if you won the bet or not?" "When she gets really hot, you can smell it." "That might be another one of those answers that you should put on your list of things not to say in front of a girl's mother. What do you think, Clara, should I take five minutes or ten?" Clara was blushing. She had been, ever since her mother and I started talking this way about her. She was also squirming around a little on the cushion. This was a sign I remembered clearly from before, when she used to come home with Kate all the time. When Clara started squirming, she was already getting hot. I took a deep breath, but I couldn't smell her yet. I looked over at her. My arm, which had been over her shoulder, was now lightly rubbing her back. I could feel the shivers running down her back, as my hand slowly moved around her spine. "I don't know what you want me to say. I don't want to get Larry in any trouble. He's already made me hot though. If we had ten minutes of privacy, I could get at least one good tingle for sure. But, maybe you don't want me to do that?" "I've tried so many other things to get you to quit moping around. I wouldn't wonder that a tingle, as you call it, could do more for your spirits than an hour of therapy. Would you stop at just that, Larry? I wouldn't want the two of you doing more than touching each other. No intercourse?" "What about licking?" I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask. Things were already heading in a direction I was liking. I was taking Mrs. Townsend at face value here, not thinking that she was tricking me, in order to get me sent to Hungary, and out of her hair. I was counting on her really wanting to see Clara start feeling better again. "No intercourse. You have fifteen minutes together in Clara's room. Leave the door closed but unlocked. Clara, this is to show you how much I'm willing to do in order to see you smiling again. Please don't try to take advantage of me." Both of us were up off the couch, and hurrying towards Clara's room. We must have been an amusing sight to Clara's mom, in our haste to get the maximum amount of time together that it was possible for us to have. Fifteen minutes wasn't that long a time, but it was infinitely longer than I had imagined getting during the first ten minutes of my visit. Clara was undressed so quickly, you would have thought she could have won a medal if undressing had been an Olympic event. She got down on the bed and spread her legs as wide as possible. I could already see her juices glistening from her slit. She either wanted me to lick her, or else fuck her. I already knew I couldn't do the latter. I dropped down to my knees, and immediately thrust my face right into her crotch. My tongue was in her pussy before she could even take another breath. I remembered her taste, and the tangy odor she gave off when aroused. We didn't waste time or energy on any of the niceties. I wanted to eat her up and she was ready to be eaten. I probably only managed to get about two inches of my tongue into her, but what I wanted to do was sink it into her until I could lick her cervix. From the way she started jerking her hips, and pulling down on the back of my head, she wanted the same thing that I did. Her first cum wasn't very long in coming. When I started putting first one, and then a second finger, into her, and licking on her clit, she started quickly rebuilding for an even stronger one. Just before she orgasmed, right when I started feeling the walls of her pussy clamping down on my fingers, I took my ring finger and pressed it against her butt hole. She froze in place for just a second, groaning loudly from her orgasm, and then started bucking her hips against my face and fingers. The finger that was on her butt hole started slipping down inside her butt. I bit down gently on her clit and started moving my face all around, like a dog working on a juicy bone. Some combination of all of this acted to send Clara way over the edge. Where before, she seemed to be trying to keep a little bit quiet, now, she starting keening in a high pitched, whining, tone, almost like a siren, and thrashing all over, uncontrollably, and squeezing tight on all the fingers up inside her, with tremendous pressure and force. I didn't hesitate, stop or attempt to change a thing I was doing. I kept on ravaging her whole crotch and butt. If anything, I increased my intensity everywhere I had contact with her. To hell with the noise. I didn't care if Mrs. Townsend heard us. In fact, I actually wanted her to hear Clara. I was in love with her daughter, and I was trying to prove something. I wanted to prove something to Clara first, to myself second, and lastly, to prove something to Clara's mom. I wanted Clara to know, for certain, that I was completely capable of taking care of her every need in this way. She had to know that there wasn't anything inherently wrong with her, anything that prevented her from enjoying being with a boy. I needed to prove to myself that I was capable of giving Clara some of the strongest, and the highest quality orgasms, she had ever known. Not necessarily better than the ones she got from Kate, but, at least in that same range. Finally, I wanted Clara's mother to quit worrying about her only child preferring to have sex only with girls. In spite of what she said, that was something that she had been continually worried about, ever since Clara first confessed to having sex with Kate. When I was finished, and Clara had completely stopped moving anything at all, I withdrew my face and fingers, and straightened out my body. I looked down at Clara. Her face looked so relaxed and peaceful. She had her eyes closed, and was breathing normally again. I was amazed, at first, that she had calmed back down so quickly. Afterwards, I realized that she had passed out. I stood up and straightened my shirt, which had gotten all bunched up somehow. My face was soaked with Clara's juices, and I needed to go wash it. I also had one of Clara's pubic hairs lodged towards the back of my throat. It was annoying. I'd never had that happen before. I went out into the hall and used the bathroom that Clara used. On one of the mirror fasteners, the ones that kept the mirror from falling down, there was a picture of me tucked under it. It was one of my Little League pictures, taken of me when I was twelve years old. I was posed in one of the pitcher's action poses, like the ones that appeared on bubble gum trading cards for professional baseball players. There was a big smile on my face. It was my favorite picture of me, but it had disappeared from my room shortly after I first brought it home. It made me smile, knowing that Clara had taken it from my room. I washed my face and hands with soap and hot water, and gargled until that hair was dislodged, and came out into the sink. After drying off, I came back out into the hallway, but Clara's bedroom door was now shut. I didn't try to open it, instead, I went out into the living room. Clara's mom was sitting in the easy chair, a drink in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. I'd never noticed her smoking before. "I didn't know you smoked." "I only do it once in a great while." She raised her glass to me too. "I drink even less than I smoke. Usually, only for very special occasions, when there's something important to celebrate." She took a big sip of her drink. "I looked in on Clara after you went to use the bath room. I needed to make sure she was all right. My goodness! I've read about things like that happening, where the woman is so overcome from the intensity of her experience, that she loses consciousness. Until right now, I've never believed it. Now, I'm forced to believe it. Clara's in her room, dead to the world. Her face is the most relaxed I've seen it since she was a small child. I used to love to watch her sleep. I must say, Larry, you didn't leave any room for me to argue that you didn't win the bet. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to ask you to leave us for tonight. Clara's indisposed, and, frankly, I don't trust myself around you right now." I thanked her for letting me come over to see Clara, but she just waved me off. She seemed anxious to get me to leave. I was pretty anxious to be getting home myself. I wanted to take another long shower, but this time, it wouldn't be my tears I'd be washing down the drain. My dick was begging me for some attention. I was determined to give it my best shot too. ------- Chapter 42 I called Clara the next morning, after finishing the chores my mom had assigned me. She seemed embarrassed about having passed out on me the night before. "I don't even know what happened, Larry. It was like everything was going great, I was getting the best tingle ever, and the next thing I remember was waking up this morning. I think I tingled too strong or something. My mom acted all funny too when I got up. When I asked her why she didn't wake me up before you left, she just laughed at me." "I had a nice time last night. It was good to see you, and to be with you again. I don't think you have to be afraid that you don't like boys. You sure seemed to enjoy things last night." "I did. That was you though. I'm still not sure I'd like that with any other boys. So far, you're the only boy to make me tingle. Kate's the only girl. Maybe it's just your family?" "So, is your mom still home?" "Yes, did you need to talk with her?" "No, I just wanted to see if I could come over to see you." "She said whenever she's home, you can come visit me. If you're coming, you have to give me some time to get ready first. All I have on is my robe." "That's enough for me. I like it when you don't wear that much. It makes it easier to touch you." "That's another thing I wanted to ask you, Larry. How come you didn't play with me up top yesterday? Didn't you notice that I've grown a lot more?" "I noticed, but we only had fifteen minutes. I wanted to make sure that you came. I plan on giving them a full inspection as soon as I have the time and a good chance to do it." "Speaking of doing it. How come you didn't? I was sure that's what you were going to do when we went in my room. I think my mom expected you to do it too." "If I had of, I'd be on a plane to Hungary with my mom. I already told you what my father's deal was. Even last night was more than he said we could do. I took a chance because I wanted to do that with you." "I don't want you to be sent away, Larry. Still, I think about doing it with you all the time." "I think we'll need to wait on that. My dad said that we can discuss it again in awhile, if we wait, and we still feel the same way about each other." "I don't want to wait. I want to have it inside me. Just for a minute, so I know we did it." "I wouldn't be able to stop if we did that, Clara. I know I wouldn't. If we started that, we wouldn't stop doing it until we get caught. I really don't want to take the chance." "Are you going to be doing it with other girls?" "Clara, what do you want me to tell you? I'm not going to lie to you about that. If I want to spend time with you, I have to promise not to do it with you. If I break that promise, they'll send me away. They didn't say I had to stop doing it, only that I can't do it with you." "If you're going to be doing it with other girls, why should I stay home, and be good?" I felt like the whole conversation was getting away from me. I didn't want to do it with other girls, not if I could do it with Clara. On the other hand, I couldn't do it with Clara, but I still wanted to do it. I knew it wasn't going to mean anything to her if I told her that I didn't love those other girls. She was going to tell me that I shouldn't want to do it with other girls if I really loved her. No matter what I told her, it was still going to come down to that. She felt like she shouldn't have to put up with my going out with other girls when she was wanting to do it with me, and I was the one who wouldn't do it with her. "Kate got sent away for not doing what she was told to do. Is that what you want me to do too?" "Did they tell you to go out and do it with other girls?" "No. I don't understand how you think, Clara. I never minded when you and Kate did things together. Why are you being this way with me?" "I don't know, Larry. Why do you think? Could it be that I don't want my boyfriend doing it with other girls after he refuses to do it with me? It isn't even that. I don't want you doing it with anyone else. I don't want you wanting to do it with anyone else. I know that you do, and that's what bothers me." "Suppose I stop doing it with anyone else too, would that satisfy you?" "Yes, if you really mean it. I'll do it with you, anyway you want to do it. I'll even not do it with you, if that's what you want." "That isn't what I want, and you know it. If it was up to me, I'd have my dick so far up inside you that you'd have trouble breathing. I can't do what I really want though, not if I want to stay here and be near you. I don't want to be sent to Hungary." "I don't want you to be sent away either. I feel so much better today, better than I've felt since when Kate went away. I can't make a good tingle by myself. Only when I get one from you or Kate are they strong like last night. Last night's was the best one ever. I don't want you giving tingles like that to anyone else." "All right. Now that we got all of that settled, is it okay if I come over to see you?" "Of course it is. Even if we didn't get it settled, I'm always glad to see you. I'm happy though that we did get it settled. I won't do things with anyone else either, I promise." "Even Kate?" "Is she back?" I had to move my ear away from the receiver, but it was already too late because of how she had shrieked her question so loud. "No, she's not back. I just wanted to make sure of what you meant, when you said anyone." "That was mean, Larry. You knew I didn't mean to include Kate. Everyone else though, except her." "Do I get one exception too?" "As long as you pick someone in Hungary, yes." "All right. Zoli's niece is coming here for the summer. She's fourteen, and she'll be staying in Kate's old room. She speaks a little English too. I pick her." "I said it had to be someone in Hungary." "She's in Hungary. You didn't say she had to stay there. I saw her picture. She looks a little bit like Kate. Maybe she likes girls better too." "I don't like girls better." "I was talking about Kate." Clara giggled. "Oh. Well, you can't do anything with her until after I meet her, okay?" "I have to get your approval first?" "Yes." "Then you have to get mine, before you do anything with Kate again." "Larry! That's not fair. I did stuff with Kate, since even before I started liking you. You don't even know this other girl. What's her name?" "Gyorgyike, but we'll call her Georgia after she gets here. You should see how big her tits are. Kate wrote that she doesn't even own a bra either. Maybe we can both do it to her." Clara hung up the phone. Lucky for me, I was already holding it away from my ear when she did. I called Bill, and asked him what he was doing. We hadn't yet gotten back to being close like we'd been before we started fighting over our sisters and Eileen. We were still friendly, but not like how we'd been before. There was also the matter of his sister that he made sure I knew he blamed me for. Apparently Jane had been working on him to not stand in the way of me taking her out on a date. According to Bill, she was making his life miserable by constantly bombarding him with pleas to change his mind. "If I did let her go out with you, would you tell me how far you really got with Denise?" "Why are you even interested, Bill? I already told you that I grabbed at her boob and she slapped me. Why do you keep trying to get me to tell you we did more than that? I haven't spoken to her for months now. I know you made that up about the things you said you did to her." "I didn't! She let me put my finger in her pussy twice. I swear! We were up in the balcony at the movies the first time, and in her father's car the last time. I'm not lying!" "Then the hell with Jane, I'm going after Denise!" "Larry! You better not tell her that I told you about what she let me do." "I was only kidding, Bill. I don't have any interest in Denise, not even if you told me you screwed her." "I almost did. She would have that night in her father's car, if I'd had a rubber. She told me." "Come on, Bill. Give me a break, okay?" "Don't believe me then. It still happened, even if you don't believe it. Kevin Saunders said he saw Denise in the balcony last night with Tommy Lampkin. They were both making out like crazy. Kevin's going to ask her out next weekend. You think she'll go out with him?" "Don't know, and I don't care. I wouldn't go out with her, not even if I knew she sucked dicks." "I heard Trudie does that. You know, her kid sister?" "That's how all these rumors get started, Bill. Half of the stuff they're saying about Kate, never even happened." "If only half of it did, I'm sorry we ever made our deal." "Nice, Bill. That's the kind of thing I want to hear from my friends." "Yeah, that wasn't very nice. I didn't mean it to sound like it did. Sorry." "That's all right. So, you going to let me take Jane out, or what?" "One movie? No balcony?" "Can I kiss her, or not?" "I don't know. You've already kissed her. Why would you want to kiss her again?" "Because she's cute. Kiss her or not?" "Don't ask me that again, all right? Kiss her if you want to. I won't get mad. Don't you feel her up though, and I mean that. If one guy tells me that he saw you feeling her up, I'm going to come right after you." "Never mind then. If I took her out, I'd treat it like a regular date. I'd keep trying to do stuff until she either slaps me, or yells at me to quit it. Don't you have any faith in Jane?" "Not where you're concerned, I don't. If it was someone else, I might have. Don't forget I saw you with her that day on the sofa. If I hadn't been right there with the two of you, she probably would have let you do it to her." "I didn't think that at all. I thought it was her not knowing what was expected. I don't think she'd ever been in that kind of a situation before. She just got too nervous. When she came back, she was in complete control of herself, right up until Kate started acting up." "Larry, Jane's my sister. You are my friend. Don't you think you can just take her out one time and treat her like you'd want me to treat Kate?" "How about if I take her out one time and treat her like you wanted to treat Kate?" "That's it! No way you are taking Jane out, never!" "Good. You want to meet me at the park and I'll pitch to you?" "Come over here instead. I'll catch you for awhile, and then you can tell Jane that you aren't going out with her." "Sorry, Bill. I already told her I'd take her out if you said it was okay. Let's meet at the park." "Larry, if you don't tell her, she's going to keep after me." "Look, I already told her I wasn't going to take her out unless you agreed to it. Just tell her what you told me and get it over with. You make it seem like Jane is more powerful than you are. Just tell her." "I already tried that. My mom told her to keep after me. She wants you to take Jane out. She doesn't know what I know." "Tell her what you suspect then. I don't want to get caught in the middle here. Tell your mom about the agreement that we made. Tell her about how Jane acted if you want to." "That would get me in a lot of trouble. You know that." "Are you going to meet me at the park, or what?" "No, you come over here. You can take her on a date, but you just better remember what I said." "Tell me again, so I'm sure I've got it. Didn't you say I could feel her up as long as no one tells you that I did?" "Come over here, and I'll make it real clear to you." "That's okay. I'm going to the park. All of you Terry's are too hot blooded for my taste. You coming over to catch me, or do I let someone else see this curve I've been perfecting?" "Is it the one that breaks an inch, or the one that only looks like it's going to break, right before the batter knocks it out of the park?" "It's the one that breaks so much that Bill Terry can't get his mitt on it. I'm telling you, my curve is really breaking now." "Let's settle it that way then. I'll come over to catch you. If you can throw even one curve that breaks more than three inches, you can take Jane out and do whatever she lets you do. If not, you tell her that you changed your mind, and you decided not to go out with her. Deal?" "Bill, it isn't that I don't trust your honesty, because I really do. It's your eyesight I don't trust. How about we get an unbiased person's opinion to make the decision on how far the ball breaks. I get to warm up first, and then I throw five curves. If the ump we get says none broke more than three inches, you win. Deal?" "Deal. I'll meet you there in ten minutes?" "I'll be there. Wear your cup. This thing is really breaking and I'd hate to see you get hurt." "Now you're claiming that your fastball has improved too? I'll take my chances." What Bill didn't know was that I'd learned how to throw a curve ball the year before. Both times Bill had caught my pitches this year, I'd been throwing nothing but lob fastballs, and very few fastballs that were me going all out. My arm had loosened up from those first two times throwing, and I knew I could start trying to throw curves again. The coach that had taught me had told me that my curve had a lot of bend to it, as long as I didn't try to throw it too hard. From the mound, it had looked like it broke at least a foot, all of it over the final fifteen feet. It also dropped quicker, like a sinker ball. I hadn't thrown a baseball for so long, I guess I never mentioned it to Bill. When Bill had caught me in Little League, I couldn't throw a breaking ball. I went out back real quick and threw a few balls up into the air, loosening up my arm up, and seeing how it felt. The looser my arm was, the more movement I could get on the ball. The practice mound at the park would be facing into the wind, where Bill's backyard was set up so that I'd be throwing with the wind at my back. The ball broke more when it was thrown into the wind. When I got to the park, Bill was already there, waiting. There were two guys waiting with him. Guys who played on the junior varsity with Bill. I knew one of them, Bob Fruntillo. He was an honest guy, so I'd pick him to be the judge if I could. The other guy was already a junior, and I didn't know him at all, except I'd seen him around school the whole year. "You ready to start warming up, Larry? Either one of these guys can be the ump for our bet, so you pick one." "I'll pick Bob. I know he can see the ball. That's all I'm going to need, someone who sees where it starts from and then sees where it finishes. Bob, when I start, I'll try to keep it off of the plate on your left, and let it break across the plate. The bet is about whether my curve breaks more than three inches. Take out your dick, Bill, so Bob knows how small three inches is." "Fuck you, Larry! See this ball, Bob? That's close enough to three inches for you to use. I know his curve isn't going to break ten inches, so I won't show you my dick." "He's telling you the truth too, Bob. Of course, in his house, they always measure dick size from the back of their asses, to the tip of their wee wee's. That's the only way it could reach a full ten inches on Terry. Bill's ass is already at least ten inches, so he might have twelve inches, counting from there." "I've got your wee wee, asshole! Let's warm up before you chicken out on the bet. Don't forget, five pitches, and then you have to tell Jane you changed your mind." "And, if I win, you don't say anything, or ask me any questions, right?" "I caught you for two years, Larry. In all those pitches, together, your ball curved less than three inches, total." "True, but I never tried to throw a curve before. I was waiting for my arm to mature and strengthen. Last year, Coach Herndon showed me how to throw a curve. Did you wear the cup? The curve drops down too." "Never mind about what I'm wearing. Twenty pitches to warm up, is that enough?" "I'll throw some first and let you know when I'm ready. You don't want to rush an arm like mine. It's too valuable." "You mean you don't want it too sore for you to beat off later tonight?" "Don't worry about me, Bill. I'm ambidextrous when it comes to that." "Just throw me the ball, Larry. Delaying isn't going to save you. Neither is this little bit of breeze. Let's just do it, and then we can all play some Hit the Bat." I went to the mound and started throwing some catch with Bill. After five minutes, my arm was feeling pretty good. I threw five or six fastballs, hearing the satisfactory pop they made when the reached Bill's mitt. I knew I was throwing faster than I had before I quit pitching over a year ago. Part of it was that I'd grown a couple of inches, and added about ten pounds. My arm had gotten stronger too. "Okay Bill, I'm ready. Five pitches. Bob, are you ready?" Bob nodded and got in tight behind Bill. He had his eye about three or four inches to the left of the plate, leaning in over Bills left side. I let my first curve ball fly. It started right where I was aiming it, about seven inches off of the plate. For the first forty feet or so, it didn't do anything, and I wondered if I'd done something wrong. I saw Bill's smile, and then the ball began moving sharply right, and diving down. It landed in Bill's mitt somewhere towards the right side of the plate. Bill got up from his crouch, and threw his mitt forcefully to the ground. It was obvious to everyone that I had easily won our bet. Bill tossed me the ball back and bent down to retrieve his mitt. "Throw the other four, Larry. Prove it wasn't just a lucky fluke." I threw four more curves. Two were about like the first one, the other two just kind of hung there, like batting practice lobs. "Man, you can't throw a curve ball when half of them are sitters. You'll get creamed in a real game." "I don't pitch in real games, Bill. Three were pretty good, that's sixty percent, not half." "Two were sitters that any hitter with power could take out of the park. Two of the good ones would have been for a ball. Only the first one was a real curve, that wouldn't have been either hit or a ball." "That's right, the only one that really mattered to me." "I guess you're right. You won the bet, anyways." "Jane will be so happy. She doesn't need to know about the bet, Bill. You can pretend that you were being nice to her one time. I wouldn't want to spoil your moment." "All right. Why don't you come home with me after we get finished up here. I'll tell her then that I've decided to let you take her out. She's already promised to clean my room for a month, if I let her go out with you. My mom was going to make me give in anyway. Winning this bet was my last hope." "You know, Bill, I don't need to take her out if you're so dead set against it?" "It isn't that. I'm just afraid for her, is all. I guess she's going to be going out anyway, whether I like it or not." "Well, I promise to keep my hands to myself with her. I'll take her to the movies, then over to Frank's, and then right back home. I might kiss her at the door, goodnight, but nothing else." "Why didn't you just say that before then? Why did you put me through all this?" "You don't ever believe me when I tell you things the first time. Like Eileen, like Denise. I figured that if I won, and then told you I was going to be good, even after I didn't have to be, you might actually believe me." Bob and the other guy had gotten tired of the two of us jawing about Bill's sister. They had moved away, and were throwing a ball back and forth among themselves. We went over and started playing Hit the Bat. After ten minutes or so, four other kids showed up and we started taking turns hitting. I was the pitcher, and I did pretty well. I struck Bill and Bob out both times they came to bat, and the only guy who really hit me was that other guy on the jv's, and he hit a hanging curve ball deep into center, way over the fielder's head. I got up to the plate twice, but I hadn't taken any cuts at the ball for so long, I grounded out both times, weakly. It was about four thirty when we rode over to Bill's house. I went in and sat in the living room while Bill went looking for Jane. Five minutes later, Jane came hurrying into the living room to give me the news about Bill changing his mind about me taking her out. "That's great. When would you like to go out?" "How about tonight? There's two Francis the Talking Mule pictures playing tonight." "I'll pick you up at six thirty? Ask your mom if I can take you to Frank's after the movies. I'll have you home before twelve thirty." Jane ran off to the kitchen, and I noticed Bill lurking in the hallway, right off the living room. "You can come in, Bill. you're too fat to hide. Besides, I don't have any secrets about any of this." Bill came in and sat down in the easy chair that his father used. He looked at me, half disgusted. "Why do they all practically throw themselves at you? You aren't that good looking, and you don't even bother going out for sports anymore." "I'm a nice guy? They feel safe with me, because they know I'm not going to attack them?" "That's not it. They want you to attack them. I don't understand why." "I don't understand any of it myself, Bill. I think a large part of it is that I'm not as anxious as most guys. I didn't get interested in girls until I was fourteen. You and Tommy, you got interested a lot earlier, especially Tommy. I could act more natural around girls because I wasn't always trying to sneak looks up their dresses, or feel their boobs. I guess I was just less objectionable than some of the rest of you." "But, there's other guys who do that too. Why you?" "I don't know. I'm not tall or athletic, I'm just a regular person. Tommy is a lot better looking than I am, but he's kind of creepy with girls. There aren't really that many girls who liked me. I think it's mostly that none of them used to dislike me, so they didn't talk bad about me. Let's ask Jane, she'd know better then either of us would." Jane was walking back to the room when she saw Bill and slowed down again. "Jane, Bill and I have a question we'd like to ask you. Be honest, it won't hurt my feelings, okay?" "What's the question?" She had a look of being worried that there was a trick about to be played on her. "Bill and I were wondering why girls seem to like one guy more than another. We were talking about Tommy Lampkin, Bill and I. What's the biggest difference that you see?" "That's easy. Bill's a creep. Tommy's a slime ball, and you're sweet, and very cute." "Tommy's a lot better looking than I am." "To you, maybe. He does have those long eyelashes and puppy dog eyes. I guess he's handsome. Only until you get to meet him though. When he opens his mouth, he's ugly. He really thinks he's God's gift to women, plus, he's very crude and rude, to everybody. Bill's not so bad, personality wise, but he's not as good looking as you or Tommy either. You look like James Dean. Lots of girls say that about you. You have his same squint, when you look at people. My mom says you have a dancer's butt, too." She giggled, putting her hand up in front of her face as she did so. "Hey, what about my butt?" Bill got up and turned his back to her. "You've got a big, catcher's butt, Bill. You look slow when you're standing next to Larry. Like a plow horse with a thoroughbred. Larry's sleek, and you're just round." "So, it's just because girls think he looks like a dead guy?" "I don't know what all girls think. I've talked with other girls about Larry a few times. Eileen, Kate, Clara and even Trudie. Even Kate said that Larry's awfully cute. Right now, cute is better than handsome to us young girls. Mom said its because girls don't want to be seen with a boy who's prettier than they are. Larry's not pretty, but he is very cute." I'm sure I was blushing. I had been as curious as Bill was. I never understood what a girl was looking for. Since the fifth or sixth grade, some girls just seemed to like me, and to want to be around me. I probably thought it was mostly because I didn't tease them or call them any bad names. I sure didn't look anything like James Dean though. Also, I never thought he was very good looking. As for my butt, my dad didn't dance hardly at all, and his butt was just like mine, as near as I could tell. I knew that if Bill and I asked ten different girls the same question, we'd get ten different answers. Whatever it was, Bill and I weren't controlling it. Bill had become interested in girls at least a year before me. In that time, he'd gone out with two girls, Kate and Denise. Kate liked him because she had far easier access to him than she did to other boys, because Bill and I hung around together so much. I'm not sure why Denise went out with him. "Okay. Thanks, Jane. If you can think of anything else, tell Bill. Now that he's had a couple girlfriends, he wants to get some more. I have to go home and get ready. I'll see you at six thirty. Did your mom say it was okay about going to Frank's after the movies?" "Yes, she said just make sure I'm home before one. What are you going to wear, Larry?" "Pants, a shirt, shoes and socks. Why?" "Because I need to pick out what I'm going to wear. Slacks or jeans?" "On you or on me?" "You." "Slacks, black ones. I'm going to wear a short sleeved shirt, light blue. Black socks, and black loafers. I'll part my hair on the left side, and brush my teeth before I leave the house." She giggled and ran off to her room. "You don't look anything like James Dean, Larry. More like Jimmy Durante I'd say." Bill was being a wit again. "Bill, why would you want to make fun of someone who's going to be out all alone in the dark with your sister?" "That isn't very funny, Larry." "Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are. I shook my head from side to side as I delivered the line in my best Jimmy Durante impression. Bill laughed out loud. He always liked my Jimmy Durante impressions. As soon as I walked in the door, my mother told me to call Clara. I dialed her number. We spent about five minutes talking. She said she had been upset, and she was sorry for hanging up on me. I told her that it had been all right, since I was teasing her. "You mean that girl isn't really coming to stay with you?" "No, she's coming. I meant that I was only kidding about doing things with her." "Can you come over tonight? I asked my mom, and she said she would be home all night." "Can't do it tonight. I told Bill that I'd take his sister to the movies tonight. She's been bothering him about it for awhile now. I told her I'd take her if Bill wouldn't have a problem with it." "Jane Terry? Kate told me about you and her that time. Why do you want to go out with her?" "Because I said I would. I told you that I'm not going to be doing things with other girls from now on. I'm not going to become some kind of hermit though. This is going to be the last time I go out with her, but I had already promised that I would." "I have to sit home by myself because you have a date with a girl who once rubbed herself on your leg trying to get a tingle?" "Clara, this isn't going to do either of us any good if you keep on with it. I've already told you that I'm not going to fool around with this girl, that should be enough. I wanted to come over earlier, but you didn't want me to. I'm not planning on sitting around my house, just waiting for a time when you decide you want to see me again. I'll be available to come over after church tomorrow. Do you want me to call you after I get back home tomorrow?" "I'm not sure if I do or not. It sounds to me like you just do whatever you want to do. That's exactly like it was the other time too." "Fine, I have to get ready for my date. When you make up your mind that you want to see me again, give me a call, okay?" "If you go out tonight, Larry, don't expect me to call you anymore. I won't do it." "That's up to you, Clara. If you don't call, I'm really going to miss you." I made it over to the Terry's house just before six thirty. I was still upset by Clara's ultimatum. Somehow, Clara had twisted things around so that she thought she had the right to dictate what I could and couldn't do. I didn't need another parent. I would have to figure out some way that the two of us could arrive at an understanding that we could both live with. If not, well, I didn't want to think about if not right then. By the time we turned the corner of her street, Jane was holding my arm and rubbing her small breast against me. "I hope we're really going to have a good time tonight, Larry. I had to agree to clean Bill's room for a whole month to get him to say I could go out with you tonight." "I've seen Bill's room, Jane. You sure have your work cut out for you. I doubt whether one night at the movies is going to be worth that much work." "It is to me. Did you really tell Bill that tonight was going to be our only date?" Thanks a lot, Bill. He couldn't just let the two of us have a good time tonight, he had to throw out that little tidbit for Jane. To make sure she knew the date wasn't going to lead anywhere. I made a mental note to remind myself to tell Bill that this was part of the problem he had with girls. He was way too quick to poison other people's wells. If Bill was upset or nervous, he wanted everyone else to be that way too. This wasn't a pleasant trait for his friends and family to have to endure. "I had to tell him something to get him to go out even this one time. I wasn't thinking ahead too much when I spoke with him. I didn't promise him that we'd only go out once. If he thinks I did, he's just wrong." "Did he make you promise anything else?" "Like what?" "Not to do stuff with me?" "No, I can do anything I want to do. Of course, you have the final say, and can stop me whenever you want to." "Can we sit in the balcony tonight?" "No." "Why not? I was planning on being up there with you." "Well, in the first place, I've been up there before, and it isn't a place to take a nice girl like you. In the second place, I like Francis the Talking Mule movies, and I want to watch them. In the third place, I couldn't really trust myself not to take advantage of your innocence. There's things I'd like to do to you, but I promised myself not to do them." "Really? What kind of things?" "You remember all the things your mom warned you that boys would try to do to you if you gave them any encouragement at all?" "Which ones?" "All of those, plus a few she never even mentioned, I'll bet." Jane was walking slower now. She still had her breast pressed in tight against my triceps muscle. "Tell me which ones you want to do to me. Please?" "Well, kissing, of course. Lots of kissing. I'd also like to touch you all over. Your breasts, butt and pussy. Especially your pussy. Then, I'd like to lick you all over too. After I was done with licking your pussy, I'd put my big dick in you, and fuck you until you screamed for mercy. But, that's only what I'd like to do. What I'm going to do is to take you into the movie, and watch it with you. After, I'm going to take you to Frank's, and get us both something to eat and drink. After that, I'm going to walk you home, and give you an innocent kiss goodnight. After I drop you off at your house, I'm going to walk home, go in my bedroom, and get undressed. I'm going to think about you while I play with myself, imagining that it was you lying on my bed, right there with me. When I go to sleep, after cumming a really good one, I'll think about how much I wish I'd really done all those things to you, instead of just thinking about doing them." "Oh, God. I can't believe you really think about doing all that to me. I've never done anything, Larry, except for that one time with you. I'm not sure I'm ready for all of that." "No, I'm not sure either. You asked me though, so I told you. I hope some of my words didn't upset you too much?" "No, I'm not upset at all. Just a little bit surprised is all. You would really like to do all of that to me?" "Even more things than that. Some of them are really nasty. Things to your ass. That's one of the reasons I don't trust myself around you. Every time I see you, I have these really nasty thoughts. I must be sick." "I think about those things too, Larry. Really. Maybe we're both pretty sick. I couldn't actually let you do it to me. I'm too young for that. I would like to feel your big dick though. Can I?" "No. Definitely not. Aren't you afraid of being raped? I can barely manage to control myself with you as it is. How do you think it would be if I let you rub my dick? You'd have it inside your pussy in no time. It would really hurt you too. In fact, it might rip up your insides if you hadn't ever done it before." "You're just making fun of me now. It can't hurt that bad, else people wouldn't keep on doing it." We had made it to the movies, by the time our conversation had progressed to this point. I had planned on scaring her out of wanting to go out with me ever again. She didn't seem all that frightened. If I were to describe her reaction thus far, I'd say one part fascination, one part anticipation, and one part apprehension. I bought our tickets, and we went inside. I walked down about halfway to the screen and found us two seats in the middle. I didn't want to be sitting anyplace where either of us could try anything. I was still planning on watching the movie, having something to eat and then taking her right home. Jane looked back wistfully at the balcony. I had no intentions of taking her up there. I had settled into my seat and was looking all around like everyone else did. Trying to see who was there that I knew. I turned to look on my left and behind me when I spotted Clara, desperately trying to duck back out of my sight. Many emotions crossed my mind, almost as soon as I recognized her for certain. Anger was the dominant emotion. There was also a sinking feeling of regret and disappointment with Clara. My first reaction to these emotions was that I was really going to put on a show for her. To let her see that all of her fears were well founded. Fortunately, I was there with a nice girl, one I had no wish to harm or exploit in any way. There was also Bill, and the promises that I'd at least implied to him. Finally, there was my love for Clara. It was stronger than the moment. I didn't want her to be any more upset than she already was. "Jane, I hate to have to ask you this, especially after you've gotten me so worked up. I just saw one of my other girlfriends here, spying on us. It's Clara Townsend. I don't want to cause a big scene, with her yelling and screaming at us. Can I go over to her and ask her to join us? This would mean that we really couldn't fool around together, but it would also mean that she wouldn't suddenly attack you in a jealous rage either. If it makes you too uncomfortable, we can just leave now." "Clara's your girlfriend?" "She's one of them. I have quite a few. That's part of the problem. Clara hates to share. What do you want to do?" "Do you think she'd really attack me?" "She might. She can be very jealous. I wouldn't be worried if it was just for myself. I'll leave the decision up to you though." "I thought that Clara liked some other boys. There were all these stories from school about her and Kate and a bunch of boys." "Yes, there were. But, she's here now, and she is one of my best girlfriends. What do you say?" "This isn't how I thought it was going to be. Are you sure she won't leave us alone if you just ignore her?" "If I was sure, that's what I'd do. The problem is that I'm not sure. I think Clara snuck out of her house tonight. Her mom is probably worried about her right now. Plus, Clara's probably very embarrassed that I saw her spying on us. I think it would be a good thing if we invited her to come sit with us. Just to let her know that there isn't anything going on between you and me." "Larry, I'm going to be cleaning Bill's room for a whole month, for practically nothing then." "I'll let you make the decision. What do you want to do? We can invite her to join us, we can leave, or we can try to ignore her, and then wait to see what happens." "I don't know. If I knew her better, I could decide easier." "How about I go get her and let the two of you work it out? After, you can come get me, and let me know what you've decided to do." "You mean just me and her, alone together?" "I don't know any other way for you two to get to know each other better right away. Clara could use a friend too. She's been all alone since Kate was sent to Hungary." "Suppose she asks me what you've said to me tonight? What do I tell her?" "You can tell her whatever you want to tell her. If she asks me, I'll tell her it isn't any of her business. Should I go ask her to come talk with you?" "Can you sit here with me? I don't want to be alone with her if she's going to start yelling at me, or hitting me." "I'll stay in the beginning if you want me to. If you want me to leave, just touch your right shoulder with one finger. If you decide you want to leave the movie, touch it with your whole hand. Are you ready?" Jane nodded at me, uncertainly. I felt bad for her. She was the innocent victim here. I felt relatively virtuous, but then, I was always ready to give myself the benefit of any doubts. I got up and quickly walked over to where Clara was trying to hide from me. "Hello, Clara. You should have told me that you were going to be here tonight." I could see that she was on the verge of tears. She couldn't possibly not be embarrassed. "Does your mother know that you're here tonight?" "She drove me here. Larry, please don't be mad with me." "Why shouldn't I be? I wasn't sneaking around. I told you what I was doing, and who with. I can't let you keep doing things like this, Clara. This isn't love. This is you trying to control me. I want you to go down there and apologize to Jane for ruining her date." "I can't do that, Larry. You apologize for me. Tell her I'm sorry. I'll sit here, and I promise I won't bother you in any way." "That isn't good enough. If you don't go down and apologize to her, I don't ever want to see or speak to you again." "You like her better than you like me?" "No, I love you, but I'm here with her. She didn't deserve to have her evening ruined just because you couldn't control your fears. This is the last time I'm going to ask you, Clara. If you don't go down there and talk to her, she and I are leaving, and you can just forget about me loving you anymore." ------- Chapter 43 "This is the last time I'm going to ask you, Clara. If you don't go down there and talk with her, she and I are leaving, and you can just forget about me loving you anymore." I didn't really mean it, about not loving her anymore, but I did want her to go down and speak with Jane. I felt like she had to suffer some consequence for her spying, plus, I hoped that she and Jane might become friends. Clara had already mentioned several times that none of the kids at school talked with her anymore. I watched as Clara stood up, and moved past me to the aisle. I didn't know if she was going to turn left and leave the movies, or turn right and go sit with Jane. I looked over at Jane, sitting nervously, by herself. When she turned right, I exhaled the air I hadn't realized I was holding in. I knew that Clara had made the more difficult choice. I got up and followed her back over to where Jane was sitting. "I'm sorry, Jane. I was jealous because Larry decided to take you out instead of coming over to see me. I shouldn't have come here and bothered him." "I didn't know he was your boyfriend, Clara. Not until he saw you here, and then told me. I've never seen you with him, except for that time at his party." "Did he tell you that I was his girlfriend?" "One of them, is what he actually said." The two of them giggled. Just then, the lights were turned off, and a cartoon started playing on the screen. I couldn't hear what they were saying anymore, because they both started whispering to each other. I watched the screen, peeking over at the two of them every now and again, making sure that they were doing all right. They kept up a steady stream of whispers for the entire newsreel, cartoons, and the first Francis the Talking Mule picture. I wondered what they were talking about for so long. At the intermission, I had to take a leak, so I excused myself, after asking Jane if she was going to be okay in my absence. When she indicated that she'd be fine, I got up and left for the bathroom. The date wasn't going that badly for me. In fact, the distraction with Clara was working out in my favor. I wasn't tempted to try to make out with Jane, like I might have been. In spite of my earlier good intentions, I had been somewhat worried that I might try to fool around with her a little, just to see her reaction to it. I finished up my business in the bathroom and returned to my seat, only to find Clara now sitting in it. Both of them were looking at me with smiles on their faces. I looked at the vacant seat between them for only a second before proceeding forward and claiming it. Clara leaned in and whispered into my ear. "Jane is mad, because she has to clean her brother's room for a month. She was hoping you were going to make out with her." "I told her that I wasn't going to." "You told her that you wanted to, but you weren't going to. She says that she wants you to do some stuff with her." "I already told Bill I wasn't going to do that. I told you that too." "But, you'd like to?" "No, I told her a lot of that stuff just to scare her away from me." "It didn't work, then. She says that she's dying to feel your dick. I already told her how big it was, but she wants to feel it." "Well, she isn't going to." "I want to feel it again too, Larry. If you take it out so I can feel it, I wouldn't mind if she got to feel it too." "I'd mind. Quit talking so much and watch the movie. I'm not some doll that you can decide to share with your friends." "I haven't played with dolls for a long time, Larry, dicks either. Jane is really curious. You know you like having two girls wanting to play with it." The whole time she's whispering this to me, I'm getting a big boner listening to her, and thinking about having someone else playing with my dick. I was also thinking about playing with Clara's pussy too. Plus, I figured that Jane might want to be felt up some too. I was heading right back into the very kind of situation that I wanted to avoid. I had real good resistance, right up until the time I was faced with any kind of temptation. Then, I let my dick do all of my thinking. I was surprised when Clara reached over, put her hand on my crotch, and gave my hard on a squeeze. I took her hand away, and told her to quit doing that. She laughed, but she didn't do it again. Then Jane spoke. She didn't bother to lean in and whisper though. She just came out and said it. "I get a turn too, Larry." "No, you don't! I'm not going to be treated this way by the two of you. I'll decide what I want to do, not you two. I don't want to do anything with either of you. You might think this is funny, but it isn't to me. I could get into a lot of trouble just for being here with Clara. My parents would never believe I didn't set this whole thing up to be this way. Clara, I want you to go right back to where you were sitting before." Clara looked at me long enough to understand that I wasn't just playing hard to get, then, she got up and left. After she was gone, Jane spoke again. "That isn't fair, Larry. You're my date, and you let Clara touch it. I've never touched one before. You can let me touch it for a minute, just so I know what one feels like. I have to clean Bill's room for a month. Just for a minute? I won't ask you for anything else, I promise." I swear, if Clara hadn't already felt me up, I would never have allowed Jane to do it either. I reached over and grabbed her hand and placed it on top of my dick. She started feeling it all over. Using her fingers to see just how long and thick it was. I just sat there, looking at the movie, and feeling a little embarrassed by it. After awhile, she stopped touching it and took her hand back over to her side. She leaned in and whispered to me. "Thanks, Larry. It sure is a big one, just like you and Clara said. I don't think it would fit inside me. Clara says she's going to make it fit in her though. I'd sure like to see you do it with her, just to see if it hurts too bad or not. You can touch me too if you want to. Clara said it was all right." I sat and watched the movie, ignoring Jane's offer for me to touch her. After awhile, Jane started watching the movie too. When the movie was over, we both stood up, but I couldn't see Clara anywhere. We waited for a few minutes until the crowd all exited before we started moving towards the entrance ourselves. In the lobby, I saw Clara just leaving out the front doors. I stopped, delaying for awhile, hoping that her mother was parked up front, and would drive away with Clara before we stepped out into the well lit area in front of the theater. If Jane wondered about why I was delaying leaving, she didn't mention it to me. Five minutes later, we left. There was no sign of either Clara or her mom outside. We walked over to Frank's, but it was full from the people who had left the movies before us. When I told Jane that I didn't want to wait to get a place to sit, she looked disappointed, until I asked her if she wanted to go over and see if Pepe's was still open. Pepe's was a local pizza place where people went to eat. They only served pizzas and fountain drinks, unlike a real Italian restaurant. They were cheap though. A large pizza was only $1.75, and that came with whichever toppings you wanted. When we got there, there were several empty tables. Jane got one for us, while I went and ordered us a pizza, and got our drinks. It was twelve o'clock by the time we had gotten our pizza delivered to our table. I was hungry, and started to dig right in. Jane wasn't a big eater apparently, she was toying with her first slice, taking tiny bites. "You aren't hungry?" I had just finished my third slice when I asked her that. "I was thinking about tonight, and about what you said on the way to the movies. You didn't mean any of it, did you?" "Any of what?" I knew what she was saying, I just didn't want to admit that I did. "About wanting to do all those things to me. You were making fun of me." "I wasn't making fun of you. I did mean them. It's just more complicated than me only doing what I'd want to do. Bill and I made a deal after that time on the sofa at your house, with Kate and the three of us. Plus, now I have Clara to think about. Other things have happened to me and my family too. You know about Kate and Clara having that trouble at school?" Jane nodded that she did. "Well, my parents sent her to Hungary, and they've promised me that I'm next, if I can't behave myself. I already got caught a couple of times, doing stuff with girls. It wouldn't take too much more to get me sent away too." "So, you would like to do those things, if you wouldn't get in trouble for doing them?" "I guess so, sure. But, I'm not going to do them, not even if I knew I wouldn't be caught." "I wouldn't want to go all the way, Larry. There is some of that other stuff you said, that I would like though. The touching stuff, and the kissing all over too. Clara said you do both those things really nice to her. She said that I'd love having it done to me. I know she's right about that too, because I think about it a lot, and I touch myself too, and pretend it's you touching me. I wouldn't even have to be your girlfriend. I just want to feel what it feels like to be touched by someone else." "Jane, there are a lot of other guys who'd loved to show you how it feels." "I trust you, Larry, and I like you. I don't just dream of any guy doing it. It's usually either you or Frankie Avalon that I think about." "Frankie Avalon? The singer?" I could see that Jane was hurt by the incredulous tone of my question. "He's pretty old, like twenty five or something, plus, I think he's already married." "I don't really expect him to come see me, Larry. It's just that when I think about those things, it's always either you or him. I always knew I had a better chance with you, than with Frankie." "If it wasn't for all those complications I told you about, Jane, you'd have a terrific chance. Probably a sure thing. With them, you better just leave your bedroom window open at night and hope that Frankie comes by some night. Of course, things change all the time. Like tonight, if Clara hadn't been there, I might have tried something, even though I promised myself that I wouldn't." "Really? I was nervous about all those kids being around us, but I would have let you do stuff to me. There isn't going to be anyone around when we walk back home." While we were talking, I kept working on that pizza. I finished off the last of my seventh slice by the time Jane put the leftover crust on her only slice down on the pizza tray. I scooped it up and polished it off as well. Pepe's made good pizza, and I had been hungry besides. We got up and left. It was already twelve thirty five. It was a ten minute walk to Jane's house. On the way back, I stopped several times to kiss her. I touched her breasts, outside her top, and even cupped both her butt cheeks while I was kissing her. She reached out and felt around for my dick once, but I broke the kiss, and started walking again, before she could try to do much with it. We arrived safely at her house, without anything happening that either one of us would regret. I gave her one last kiss goodnight, right on her steps in front of her door. She was standing on the first step, so we were lined up just at the right height for kissing now. "Thank you, Larry, for the great walk home. I'll remember it when I'm working on Bill's room." "I'll remember it too, when I'm in bed in a few minutes, Jane. I'll be thinking about you tonight before I go to sleep." "Are you going to do it tonight? With your hands I mean?" "Yes. It's going to be a good one too, I can already feel it." "You promise you're going to be thinking of me when you do it? I'm going to do it too, and I promise to think about you then too." I smiled and nodded to her, then watched her slip inside before I left for home. I walked a couple blocks out of my way to be able to pass by Clara's house. All of her lights were out though, and I saw her mom's car parked out front. After I got home, I kept my promise to Jane. I had a hard time sleeping after that, so I did it again. This time, I was thinking about Clara and Jane, the three of us playing together on Agnes's bed. After, I was able to fall asleep easily and quickly. At nine o'clock, my mother woke me up by telling me I had a telephone call. It was Clara, wanting to know if I was going to come see her when I got back from going to church. We spoke for only a few minutes, but she didn't ask me anything about the rest of my date with Jane. She didn't even mention the night before, not even once. Clara seemed to have some kind of mental insulation that she was able to deal with things, and then put them away into a special compartment that shielded things from her. I think that was part of the reason she had always seemed so happy and good humored before all of the troubles started with her family, and all the rest of it. I told her I'd come over as soon as we got back from church. I got over to Clara's house at about one o'clock. I had changed out of my church clothes into regular play clothes. Mrs. Townsend let me in, because Clara was on the telephone. She was talking with Jane. For a minute, I worried about that, but then I thought that Clara had given me permission to do all of the things I'd done to Jane, plus, I hadn't even done that much. Except for the promise to think about her when I was beating off. Well, it was too late to worry about it. Mrs. Townsend was excited because Clara was actually talking happily with someone on the phone again. She excused herself to go make some lunch for the three of us. I went over to where Clara was and started rubbing both her breasts outside her shirt. She was certainly right about them having grown some more. She now had almost as much as Denise did. "Larry just got here Jane. He's playing with my boobies right now. Larry, Jane says to tell you hello. Yes, she's here, but I think she's in the kitchen. His hands feel really good. My nipples don't hurt anymore, not like they did before, and his hands are already making me hot. No, I already told him he could do whatever he wants to me. You want me to really tell him that? You're sure? Okay. Larry, Jane says you can do anything you want to her too." Clara was sticking her tongue out at me when I grabbed at my crotch. "Jane I have to get off the phone now because Larry's here. Thanks for calling and talking to me. I'll see you in school tomorrow. Jane, you don't have to talk to me in school. If you do, the other kids might be mad at you. Really? I'd like that too. I don't have any left right now. See you tomorrow then." After she hung up, she was still all excited. Jane had called her and wanted to be her friend. Jane had already talked this over with her mother, knowing that it wasn't going to be the easiest thing for her to be Clara's friend, not after all that had happened at school before. Mrs. Terry had told her that she thought it was a fine idea, and that she was proud of her for feeling that way. "Did you tell your mom yet about why you wanted to go to the movies last night?" "I told her that I saw you there with another girl, but not about knowing that you'd be there. Do I have to tell her about that?" "I can tell her if you'd prefer that. I just thought it might be better if you told her yourself. I don't want her thinking that I was helping you to be sneaky with her." Clara pulled out of my arms and walked into the kitchen. I went back to the living room and sat down on the sofa. Clara's mom came out a few minutes later. I saw Clara heading off to her room, and heard her door shut rather loudly. She came over to the sofa and sat down on it, facing me. "Did you have anything to do with Clara lying to me last night, Larry?" "No, I didn't. I had no idea about anything until I spotted her hiding behind me. I was on a date with another girl." "Clara told me that. I was under the impression that you and Clara had a 'special' relationship Larry, especially after the other night's display. Was I mistaken about that? Is Clara just another conquest to you?" "No, I love Clara, and only her. I had told this other girl that I'd take her to the movies if her brother dropped his objections. He dropped them, and so I took her to the movies. I told her about Clara as soon as I noticed Clara there, and I had already told Clara about me having the date. " "Well, I've sent Clara to her room for deceiving me. Is the girl who called here the same girl you were with at the movies last night?" "Yes, Jane Terry. Her brother, Bill, is a friend of mine." "Do you know why she called Clara today?" "Yes, she wants to be Clara's friend. I made Clara go over and apologize to Jane for spoiling her date, and they talked for awhile, and got to know each other better." "Did you do this hoping that they could be friends?" "That was part of it, but I mostly thought Clara should apologize to Jane." "You know, Larry, I'm having a difficult time with placing you in any category. Sometimes I think you are an evil, manipulative, little bastard, and then you keep doing things that convince me that you really love Clara, and are more concerned for her well being than any of the rest of us are. It is upsetting to me that I can't figure you out." "I love Clara, and I do want her to be happy. It isn't so simple, because we're both so young, and my father has placed restrictions on what I can do with her. I already told Clara that I was going to stop doing stuff with other girls, but she didn't trust me." "Should she have trusted you, Larry? Are you trustworthy?" I didn't know how to answer her. There was always a difference between what I wanted to do, and what I actually would do. My parents, and all the adults I knew, thought nothing, themselves, about their making changes from their previously announced plans, but let a kid do that, and suddenly, it was a really bad thing. I felt trustworthy, but if I told her I was, she'd probably start in right away, telling me all the times I hadn't been trustworthy. I wished then that I hadn't made any mention of it, about Clara not trusting me. "Sometimes I might not be. I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt Clara just to be mean though. I try to be honest with her, tell her what I'm doing, so she doesn't have to worry. I wasn't trying to sneak around on her." "When you really care about someone, Larry, you don't do things to make them worry." "That isn't true. Maybe we all wish it were, but it isn't." "Well, you're right, it isn't true, but you should try not to make Clara worry." "I do try. That's why I told her, so she wouldn't need to worry. Instead, she just worried more, because she didn't believe what I told her. Even after I caught her spying on me, I still tried to make sure she didn't worry about me being sneaky with her. I don't know what else I could have done to not make her worry." "You could have not made a date with another girl, Larry." "I had already said that I would take her out, even before you let Clara and I see each other again. I told Clara yesterday that this was only going to be that one date, and that I wasn't going to be doing a lot of stuff with this girl." "Put yourself in Clara's place for a moment. How would you have felt? Wouldn't you have been worried?" "Me personally? I might have been worried, but I wouldn't have gone over to the movies to check up on her. I would have waited until the next day, and then asked her if she had done what she said she would." "Would you have believed what she said then?" "Yes. Right up until I found out that she had lied to me. I wouldn't lie to her, so I wouldn't expect her to lie to me." "Do you think I should punish Clara for lying to me? I have to admit that I might also have done what she did, if I were in her place." "That's up to you. I don't want Clara to be punished, but she did lie to you. You have to decide on what you want to do." "If I told you that my punishment for Clara was that she couldn't see or talk to you for a week, would that seem fair to you?" "I guess so. I'm getting punished too though." "That's sometimes the price you have to pay for being someone's friend. Their problems affect you. I'd feel better about things, if I can punish Clara in this way. If you don't agree to it, because it inconveniences you, I'll choose another punishment." "How about not seeing me for two weeks, but we can still talk on the telephone?" "How about not seeing or speaking with you for four days?" "Okay, but can I go in her room now, for a little while, and play around with her some?" I was smiling when I said it, letting her know that I was mostly just kidding with her. I saw her smile back at me. "That's not any way to start out her punishment. You leave and I'll tell her that I almost let you come in for a few minutes to say goodbye to her. I'll tell her that I would have let you in her room if she hadn't made me so angry." "If you don't let me say goodbye to her, the four days should start with today. I hardly had any chance to see her at all." "Thursday night, after you both are done with dinner, and all of your schoolwork. For being such a good sport about it, I'll let you tuck her in, and can even put her to sleep the same way as you did before." "I'm not sure that would happen again. We hadn't seen each other for a long time. If I had enough time though, I could probably tire her out enough so she'd be able to sleep." "Good night, young man. You can stick your head in her room, to tell her goodbye if you want to. No phone calls until you see her on Thursday. If she calls you, please don't talk with her." I went over to Clara's bedroom and knocked on her door. When I opened it, Clara was sitting up on her bed, crying. She tried to smile when she saw me, wiping at her tears off of her face. "I have to go. Your mom says you're restricted from seeing me or talking to me until Thursday night." "She told me it was a week. How come she changed it?" "She couldn't stand not seeing me for so long." "I believe it. Jane feels like that, too. Most of the time, she was talking about you, and those things you said to her. She wanted to know how it felt to get licked by you." "Did you just tell her, or did you offer to show her yourself?" "No, I told her how it felt, but I did think about doing that, showing her. Do you hate me?" "I love you. I wish you would just believe me. It would make it easier if you did." "Easier for you, you mean? She wouldn't be curious, if you hadn't put it into her mind by talking about it." "Really? Who put it in your mind? Or in Kate's? I'm starting to wonder about you, Clara. You're beginning to seem more like Kate to me everyday. What you're saying now, well it sounds like something Kate would say. Jane didn't need me to make her be curious. People get curious all by themselves. I'll see you Thursday night. Try to stay out of trouble until then. Your mother might let me come in your room on Thursday night, if you've been really good." "Will you do it to me then?" "No. I told you that already. If that's all you want from me, you may as well find somebody else to do it with." "Maybe I will." I looked at her. She was sitting there, trying to see if she could make me as unhappy as she was. I didn't know why she wanted to do that to me. I didn't like it. I'd really had enough of playing this same game with her. It felt a lot like the game that Kate had kept playing. "You win, Clara. You kept wanting to see how far you could push me? I'm guessing that it wasn't quite as far as you thought it was going to be. I'm done with it. You make it too hard. You weren't ever going to be satisfied, not until you managed to push me away. Now, you did. Goodbye." I shut her door, and walked out of her house. Her mother just watched me as I was leaving. She knew what had happened, had probably been expecting it. I got the feeling that this blow up between Clara and me had somehow been anticipated, and probably, even welcomed by her. Maybe she was right to feel that way. The way things were, it was safer for Clara and I to stay separated from each other. I felt like Mrs. Townsend believed I only represented bad things for her daughter. I didn't think so, but I could see possible problems for both of us too. Clara's mom was willing to use me in order to get Clara to do what she wanted done. That was my only value to her, using me to get control over Clara. When I got home, I went into my bedroom and thought about what had just happened. One minute, things seemed fine, the next, they were all screwed up again. How was a guy supposed to understand things, when they kept blowing up in his face so fast? I asked myself if I had stopped loving Clara? No, I felt exactly the same about her. How could I love her like that, and still be willing to give up on her like I had? I didn't have any answers. I really wanted to be able to find out how Clara really felt about me. If I was right about Clara's mother, would knowing how Clara really felt about me change the way I felt about her? I knew that it wouldn't change the way I felt. It would change the way I'd act though. It had with Kate. I loved Kate as much as before, but now I was willing to stand back and let my parents try to get her to change her behavior, in spite of the cost to Kate. Right now, I was close to feeling the same way about Clara. She was going through something. Whatever it was, I didn't really understand it. It was different than with Kate, but it was similar to her too. Both of them seemed unable to accept not getting what they wanted. Clara's way was less obvious than Kate's way, but she seemed just as determined, in her own way, as Kate was in hers. Like Kate, if having her own way caused serious consequences to other people, that was acceptable to her. I didn't like being treated like one of those other people. I especially didn't like it when it looked like I was going to get caught right in the middle, and sent away because of it. I looked at my watch, it was still not quite three o'clock. I felt like calling Jane and warning her about Clara. If I felt like I could have explained myself clearly, I would have called her. Instead, I walked over to Bill's house. I really though Clara would benefit from having a friend, but I also wanted Jane to understand that Clara might draw her into things she might better have avoided. When I knocked on the door, Mrs. Terry answered it. "You just missed Bill and Sissy, Larry. They went over to visit their cousin, Eileen, at her house." "Do you think it would be all right if I just went over there?" "How did it go with Sissy last night, if you don't mind me asking?" "She sure doesn't eat much, does she? We got a pizza, and she only managed to eat one small slice." "Maybe she was just nervous about eating too much in front of you?" "Maybe. We saw the movies. There was this girl that I knew that was there too." "Clara Townsend?" "Yeah, Clara. Anyway, she sat with us and the two of them talked a lot during the first movie. Clara left after the first movie was over though, to go sit somewhere else. We watched the other movie and then went over to Frank's, but every seat was taken, so we went to Pepe's. After we ate, we came back here. It was before one o'clock." "That tells me what you did, Larry. How did it go?" "I think, Jane was a little disappointed because I had Clara come talk to her, and explain about her being there like that." "I don't think she was disappointed, Larry. In fact, she was quite happy this morning, even while she was working on cleaning up her brother's pig sty. So happy, in fact, that it worried me. It made me wonder what had happened to make her feel so chirpy in the morning." "I don't know. She said several times that she had to clean Bill's room for a month, in order to get him to say it was all right for her to go out with me. She sounded like she wished she hadn't agreed to do it." "Something about all this is making me nervous, Larry. Were you a gentleman with her?" "I didn't even hold her hand in the movies. After we ate at Pepe's, we walked straight home. I did kiss her once, on the steps in front of your house, and a couple of other times when we were walking home, but I wasn't pushy or bold with her. I didn't do anything to make her upset with me." "I never said you did, Larry. She never mentioned anything like that either. Maybe she was happy because she had gotten through her first date?" "I guess. It certainly wasn't because of anything that I did." "You're too modest. Jane has been on the telephone all morning, probably with every friend that she has. She seems to always manage to mention that she was out on a date with you, Larry, a really cute high school boy, I think that's how she usually described you." "Did she mention my 'dancer's butt'?" "No, I don't believe I heard her talking about that. I did hear her mention something else, a different part of your anatomy, though. I keep hoping that I just heard her wrong. If I didn't hear her wrong, then you weren't being completely candid with me before. I would prefer to think that my hearing is getting a little less acute due to my age." I don't think you're that old, but maybe there were other noises that made you hear it wrong." Mrs. Terry looked right down at my crotch, making it very obvious what she was looking at. I had no problems at the moment, because I wasn't happy with the direction our conversation had taken. For once, nothing was out of place or too prominent. She smiled some more and shook her head. "Maybe I did just hear her wrong. Or, maybe, she had more of an effect on you than I would have, and she saw something that is now completely hidden from me?" "Or, maybe you both have the same effect on me, but now I'm wearing jeans? If you're asking whether I pulled anything out, then, no, I didn't. If you wonder whether she might have gotten a look at my pants when I was excited, I guess she might have." "If she did get a look, maybe anything she saw would just seem large to an innocent girl, especially one as young and inexperienced as Jane?" "Probably. "That's what I'm going to believe then, Larry. A mother worries. Jane is too young to know about things like that, especially from first hand experience. Are you planning on taking her out again, Larry?" "I don't think so. If I ever changed my mind, I'd ask you first though." "If she was older, say fourteen, I might risk it again. I don't think it would be good for either you or Bill to be dating each others sisters. Wasn't that part of the problem this last time?" I nodded to her that it was. She smiled at me. "You go find Bill and Jane. I've always liked you, Larry, because I think you're a very honest boy. Even honest boys can get into more mischief than is good for them though. You remember that." She turned around and closed the door. Another mother, another warning. It was very obvious to me that Bill's mom was telling me to leave Jane alone for awhile. I was thinking the same thing though, so it wasn't a big problem. It sounded like Jane had the same problem that Karen did. She didn't know when to stop talking, or about what she shouldn't be talking about. I walked over to Eileen's, and they were all outside, talking to two other girls from the junior high school. Bill was sitting on the ground, looking bored and annoyed. I went over and sat down next to him. "What's the matter with you?" I asked him as I sat down. The four girls had all looked at me, but then went right back to talking together. Jane looked like she had started blushing, as soon as she saw and recognized me. "These girls all just want to talk. I thought we were going to the park to see if anyone was playing baseball or anything." "You ever wonder why you don't have better luck with girls, Bill? I know you do, because we just got done talking about it yesterday." "So?" "So, this is a big part of the reason why. All you have time for, or interest in, is sports things. Girls want other things. They mostly don't care that much about guy stuff. If you want them to be interested in you, you have to be interested in at least some of the things they like to talk about." "You know what they're talking about? Clothes. Girls clothes. You think I should be interested in that? Gives me the creeps listening to them carry on about girls tops and sweaters or skirts." "You just won't listen, will you? Why do you think girls are so interested in what they are wearing? I'll tell you, it's boys. They want to look good. They want to look good to each other too, but mostly, it is to attract boys attention. What's that tall skinny girl's name? She's always hanging out with Eileen over at the park." I was nodding towards the girl. She was the one doing the talking right then. She was wearing a Spring dress, it had a lower cut front, one that was cut tight, in a way that emphasized her smallish sized breasts. "Brenda. She's in a lot of Eileen's classes. She doesn't like boys that much. I tried talking to her already." "Hey Brenda. Turn around. I need to have Bill notice something. Twirl around three hundred and sixty degrees so I can show him." "Show him what?" "The way your dress looks when you are turning. Like if you were dancing. Just do it once, okay?" She turned all the way around slowly. She looked very well balanced when she did that move. I bet she had practiced it before in front of her mirror. "Thanks, that was perfect. See, Bill. On a tall, graceful, girl, like Brenda, a dress like that can highlight her best features. That's probably why she wears that kind of dress, because she knows how good she looks in it. Am I right, Brenda?" She just stood there, noncommittal, allowing me to continue talking. "See the way that dress is cut on top, Bill? Without being obvious about it, Brenda has presented her other charms in a very pleasing way. You must really be taking your vitamins, Brenda, because you're sure looking healthy right now." I could see that Brenda was a little embarrassed to be singled out for all this attention, but still, she was pleased by it. I wasn't being crude, just complimentary. Eileen stepped forward then. She had on a tight top, with an even tighter skirt. She was dressed to place it all on display. Her breasts were encased in one of those bras where you were supposed to wonder if the girl was even wearing one. "What about what I'm wearing, Larry?" She modeled her outfit for me. she took two or three small steps and then a full turn. Her back was arched, and her breasts were thrust out as far as she could get them. She looked very attractive, and I told her so. "That's it? Attractive? You don't think mine are healthier than Brenda's?" "It wasn't some kind of contest, Eileen. I was trying to explain to Bill why his eyes were constantly being attracted to Brenda. He's only been staring holes through her since I got here. Bill doesn't know those special tricks you girls use with your clothes. I was trying to point out to him why he was so taken with Brenda." I looked over at Bill, and he was blushing too now. Brenda was watching all of this, paying real careful attention to what I was saying about Bill liking her. "Bill doesn't know much about girl's clothes, but he knows what kind of girl he likes to look at." I pushed Bill, and let him push me back. Of course, Bill being Bill, he pushed me until I nearly fell over on my side. "Was it supposed to be a big secret that you liked Brenda, Bill, I'm sorry. You should have said something to me before." "I never said I liked her." Bill still didn't get it. "You didn't have to, it's obvious that you do. Hey, Brenda, why don't you give poor Bill a break and take him for a little walk? Maybe then he'll quit drooling over you, and finally ask you out to the show or something. Do it as a favor to the rest of us? You can always say no, and shoot him down in flames." I stood up and tried to drag Bill to his feet after I was standing. He resisted me, of course. "He's too shy to ask you to go walking with him, Brenda, you'll have to ask him." Eileen jumped in then. "Get up, Bill. Brenda take pity on my poor cousin. He's not a bad guy. He's just afraid of girls, that's all. If he asks you out though, don't say no to him. Larry and I will double with you guys, right Larry?" "Sure, Eileen. I'd do anything to help out my pal, Bill. How about we all go to the movies on Friday night? We'll sit in the balcony and make out until they turn the lights on and kick the four of us out." That brought Jane into it. "How come you'll go up to the balcony with her, and you wouldn't take me?" "Because Eileen isn't going to get on the telephone the next day and start telling all of her friends things she shouldn't be telling them. Things her mother might overhear her saying, and would be asking me about." This, of course got Bill up on his feet. "What kind of things? You said you'd be good if I let you go out with her." "I was good, Bill. She was the one who didn't keep her hands to herself, ask her." "What did you do, Sissy?" Jane looked at me, an uncomfortable look. She wasn't pleased that I'd singled her out like this, in front of her brother, her cousin, and two of her cousin's friends. "I didn't do anything. I just repeated what Clara had told me, that's all." "Clara Townsend? What does she have to do with any of this?" Bill was getting upset by now. He was sure that something was being deliberately kept from him. "She told me that Larry has a big dick. I just told some people what she said." Then Eileen got into it too. "Is that right, Larry? You've been hiding your light under a bushel basket? How big? Bigger than a breadbox?" I held up my hands in surrender. Bill was staring at me, wondering how I had gotten myself into such a mess. Eileen was looking at my crotch, and so was Jane and the other girl. Not Brenda though, she was looking right at Bill's face. I turned to look at Brenda, now that Bill was standing on his own two feet. "So, what do you say, Brenda? You want to risk going up in the balcony with Bill next Friday night? I'll keep Bill from getting too frisky with you, if you make sure Eileen doesn't try to find out for herself whether or not Clara's been telling the truth." "I don't know. The balcony? On a first date? I'm not fast." "Bill's not fast either. Eileen and I are both fast though, so maybe you better sit away from us. You wouldn't want to get anything on one of your nice dresses. Friday at six thirty? We can all meet here at Eileen's. "Bill hasn't said anything. Are you sure he wants to go out with me?" We all looked at Bill. Now was his moment of truth. With a few misplaced words, he could unravel the whole spool of yarn I'd just knitted. "No, I want to go out with you! I mean sure I would." When Bill spoke up, the three of us relaxed. Bill had passed the test. He had a date for Friday night. Jane was visibly upset, and the other girl was moving her head around, trying to keep track of what everyone had said. Brenda, Bill, Eileen and I were all grinning at each other. It was like we were all on the winning side together. I looked at Jane. "Your mother says that you can't go out with me again, because you're too young to be talking about those things with all your friends like you did. I agreed with her. It was very immature of you to do that. Speaking of immature, Clara and I broke up too. She wasn't able to accept the limits that were placed on us. You be careful with her. Sometimes, if you aren't careful, she'll get her friends in trouble too." "I thought you wanted for her and me to be friends?" "I do. Friends who don't get each other into trouble. Clara can really use a friend. Just don't let her talk you into getting in any trouble, even if she wants to. One of you has to be sensible enough to stay out of trouble. I'm hoping that you are that one. Clara hasn't quite managed to learn that yet." "I didn't mean to say anything that would get you into trouble, Larry. I'm sorry." "That's okay, Jane. I'm not in any trouble. Now that you've explained things to Bill, here. You should try to make your mother understand too. I think she was very worried about how you got your information." Bill and Brenda had moved about twenty feet away from the rest of us, and were talking quietly to each other. Eileen was standing fairly close to me. She had been slowly moving in for the past five minutes. The other girl, I found out that her name was Francine, asked Eileen if she was going to attack me. "I might. Is it true, Larry, what Clara says? I bet it is true. You didn't see it yourself, Jane? Why don't the four of us go inside for a minute just to find out if it's true or not? Wouldn't you like to find out if it was true, Francine? I sure would." I looked over at Bill, but he and Brenda were a block and a half away, walking over towards the park. They weren't holding hands, but they were walking pretty close to each other. "Would you like to go inside and show the three of us, Larry? If you do, we'll all kiss it for you." "I'm not kissing any boy there! I don't care how big it is. How can you even say that, Eileen?" "Come on then Larry. Just Jane and me then. We'll both kiss it twice each to make up for Francine not being there." "I didn't say I didn't want to see it. I just said I wasn't going to kiss it." Francine was being more talkative, now that she'd been excluded. "You either have to kiss his dick like the rest of us, or else you don't get to see it. That's the only way we all know that nobody is going to tell about it." "I never kissed one before." "You think Jane and I have? Jane have you ever kissed a dick before?" Jane shook her head no. She did it so forcefully that I wondered why she hadn't spoken up and opted out of this for herself. "But, you will kiss Larry's if he shows it to us, right?" Jane looked at me and nodded her head up and down. I heard a small yes escape her lips while she nodded too. "So, that's it Francine. If you look, you have to kiss it. Are you in or not?" "I go last then. I'm not kissing it until I see both of you kissing it first." "Okay, then let's hurry up so we have time for a real good look." Eileen started walking back to her apartment building. Jane and Francine quickly followed. I stayed right where I was. Francine was the first one to notice that I wasn't coming with them. "Wait up, Eileen. He isn't moving." "What's the matter, Larry? You don't like the deal? That deal was just to get you to come up with us. I know we can all offer you more than a little kiss on it. Come on. You won't be disappointed. I promise you." "I'm not going with you, Eileen. You always assume that people will just go along with what you want to do. It's very irritating to me when you do that. I've already had my dick kissed, and sucked, and everything else too. I don't need to be passed around like some freak in a carnival to be gawked at. You already know how big my dick is anyway. You felt it at the park that time." Jane looked over at her cousin, wanting to see if Eileen would deny it or not. Eileen just smiled, not upset in the least by anything being said. "You know, Larry, you've got to be the only boy who has ever turned me down like this. Not once, not even twice, but at least three times now. Don't you like me?" "You look good, but you act pretty cheap, Eileen. I don't like that. With you, none of this is special or important. If it isn't going to be special, why should we bother to do it?" "Because it makes us feel good. Isn't that reason enough? People do this all over the world, Larry, because it feels good. You think everyone who does it needs to be in love?" Eileen was getting angry. I'd embarrassed her in front of the others. I hadn't started out to do that. I wasn't even sure why I was mad, but I was. I'd already told her that I wasn't going to do it. I didn't owe her anymore explanation than I'd already given her. I could see that Jane was upset and nervous. Francine seemed okay with however it turned out. I don't think she minded kissing my dick. She just didn't want to be tricked. Once the others did stuff, I was sure she'd follow right along with them. Jane was the only one I really worried about. "These are the kinds of things you should worry about getting talked into, Jane. You're a nice girl, just a little too curious and anxious to learn everything. This isn't a good way to do your learning. If you start this way, you'll wind up like Eileen, and none of it will be worth much to you either." I turned away from them and started walking towards home. Eileen screamed a few insults at me, but I was soon joined by Jane. We walked to her house in complete silence. I looked at her a few times, and she seemed unsettled still. I put my arm over her shoulders, protectively, and gave her a tight squeeze. We walked the rest of the way like that. Even when her mom came out, I kept my arm where it was. The three of us just stood there, looking at each other. Finally, Jane's mom spoke. "You two going to fill me in on what's happening, or not?" "You've got a nice daughter here, and I decided to walk her home to make sure all the wolves left her alone." "And did they?" "Yes, ma'am. Not one wolf bothered her while I was with her." "That's what I meant, Larry, when I said that I like you. In most ways, I like having Bill, just like he is, as my son. But, there are times when I wish more of you rubbed off on him. This is one of those times. Thank you for looking out for her." "She's been looking out for me too. I already got one date because of her." "Really? Is there a story surrounding this? One that a mother would want to hear?" "There's always a story. You have to wait for it to be told, before deciding if you like it or not. Apparently, Jane heard what she heard from Clara. Jane repeated this to Eileen, and Eileen asked me out on a date, to double with Bill and his new girlfriend, Brenda, on Friday night. I'm not sure whether or not the rumor had any effect on Eileen's decision to ask me out. I'll wear my jeans on Friday, just in case it did." "So, Larry, is Jane's spreading of this rumor going to catch up with you someday? Is someone going to be chasing after you, only to find out, and then be terribly disappointed?" She was laughing at me. Her eyes twinkled, while her poor daughter just stood there, embarrassed, and almost ready to run away because of what her mother had said. "Don't you worry about that. If anything, she's been understating reality." I smiled at her and then winked at Jane, and walked away. If you had the name, you may as well play the game. Something told me that I had come out way ahead in this encounter with Mrs. Terry. I doubted that she'd be trying to tease me about it anymore. I did think that Jane was in for a severe grilling over what had actually occurred on our date the night before. I hoped that Bill and Brenda got comfortable together so that they didn't call off their date for Friday. I had no intention of keeping mine with Eileen. I'd tell Bill that sometime during the week. When I got back home, my mother told me that Mrs. Townsend wanted me to call her at home. I dialed Clara's number. "Hi, Larry. Thank you for returning my call. I need to ask you what you said to Clara? She says she isn't going to keep her appointment with her doctor on Tuesday." "I told her that I was finished with letting her act like Kate does. It isn't worth it to me. She's going to get me into trouble, and she doesn't care about anything or anyone else. It's all about what she wants." "We had an agreement, Larry. I expect you to honor it. It's important that Clara receives the help that she needs. I allowed you certain freedoms with Clara, I did this so that you'd have enough incentive to continue, just in case something like this came up. I need you to do your part now." "You should have made that clear to me. I thought you were just interested in Clara being happy again. I wouldn't have done it if I knew you were just trying to bribe me. You should go out shopping for someone else for Clara. I'm sure she'd be willing to accept a substitute for me." I hung up on her. I now knew where Clara got her sense of values from. I wasn't going to allow myself to be used like the prize in a box of Crackerjacks. She could use another incentive to get Clara to keep her appointment. The phone rang again, and I told my mother to get it. I told her that I wasn't going to speak with Mrs. Townsend again. Clara refused to go to her appointments for the next three weeks. Mrs. Townsend called my house several times, but I wouldn't speak with her. After three weeks, Clara decided to go back to keeping her appointments at the doctor's. She had been given a deadline to go back for her appointments, or else she would have to spend her whole summer being restricted to her house. When school let out, I got my father's lawnmower sharpened, and went around the neighborhood looking for lawn care jobs. It took me the whole summer, but I made enough money to pay every penny back that I owed my parents for those windows that I'd broken two years before. When I made the final payment to them, my father shook my hand solemnly, and told me that the incident was behind us all now. My mother had been working on my father for the whole summer to have him allow Kate to come home in time to start high school. Zoli's niece had decided to stay in New York for the summer, rather than come out to our house. A couple times, I really thought my mother was going to talk him into it, but each of these times, he'd gotten stubborn, and refused to budge from his position. My mother was getting more and more upset with the situation. She didn't want other people raising Kate. Kate had stopped writing to all of us after the first three months, but Zoli's sister still wrote my parents every week. Things were tough in Hungary. The money my parents were sending over every month, went a long way towards keeping Zoli's sister's whole family fed and clothed. One of the reason's that Gyorgike had come over was that Kate's return ticket was going to expire unused. He had to buy new ones anyway, so she used Kate's return ticket to come over to New York. She would use half of the new ticket to return to Hungary. The new ticket would expire again sometime after Christmas, and my mom was telling him that there wouldn't be any more tickets bought after this one. ------- Chapter 44 I turned fifteen with no trumpets sounding, in fact, no fanfare whatsoever. My mom and dad were still locked in that bitter struggle over who was going to get their way about Kate returning. They were barely talking to each other by that time. Bill had been going steady with Brenda for the past month or so. They were meeting over at Eileen's apartment almost every morning, and began their day with a romp on Eileen's bed. Brenda was as jaded as Eileen when it came to sex. She had allowed Bill to do it with her within a week of when they first went out together to the movies. Of course, Bill was pretty happy about having a girl who was willing to let him stick his dick in her. So happy, that he made it a point to let everyone he knew in on the details of his love life. One of those details was that Eileen liked to watch Brenda and Bill doing it. She would stay in her bedroom and carry on a conversation while the lovebirds went at it. Bill had hinted several times that Eileen sometimes participated with them. As for me, I had stopped doing anything with anyone. I still had deep feelings for Clara, but I forced myself to not mope around and pass by her house all the time. I was a little bit depressed, and feeling sorry for myself. I wasn't really ready to move on to someone else. Working on peoples yards all summer helped me. I got plenty of exercise, felt better about myself because I was finally paying my parents back for the money they had paid out to the bank for my vandalism, and was proving to myself that I was able to exercise some self control when it came to sex. I was lonely though. Part of the reason I was able to keep from slipping back into my old sexual habits was because I avoided almost every social situation. I hadn't been to the movies since that time with Jane back in May. I knew I was being too cautious, but I didn't want to be tempted. I knew that I would probably resume a more normal social life once school started up again. My mother told me several times that she was worried about me not being out with any of my friends for the whole summer. Even my Aunt Agnes asked me whether I'd lost my copy of her apartment key. My father seemed happy that I was taking care of business with my lawn mowing jobs, and he saw no reason why I'd want to be going out 'wasting your money' now that I was learning how difficult money was to come by. In late August, I learned that Clara was dating a boy who was a year ahead of me in school. I didn't know him, but I knew who he was. I found out about it from Clara's mom when she saw me pushing my mower past her house on my way to a lawn job on her street. She seemed happy to see me, and told me how much Clara's attitude had improved now that she was back seeing her therapist twice a week. She mentioned that Clara had found a nice young man for herself, and was only engaging in healthy activities with him. She told me the boy's name and asked me if I knew him. When I said I didn't, she smiled at me, as if to say my not knowing him was a very good sign. I told her I had to leave because I had a lot of grass to cut that day. She asked me if I wanted her to give Clara any message from me. "Sure, tell her I said hello, and that I'm happy to hear that she's doing so well. I'll probably see her at school, when it begins." "If you do, please try to keep from spoiling her progress, Larry. She is doing well right now, and I want it to continue." "Then we both want the same thing. I'll see you Mrs. Townsend." I had a difficult time getting adjusted to the news that Clara was going out with another boy. It wasn't that I hadn't expected it, because I had. It was just that it was one more proof that our paths had diverged, and we were now further apart than we had been. I thought about looking for another girlfriend, but I still didn't feel like going out and finding anyone else at the time. I was learning the downside of being in love, all the bad feelings associated with breaking up. The first week of school produced a lot of new gossip when we all caught up on what had happened over the summer. Denise had gotten pregnant. She had told Karen before her parents sent her to stay with her father's sister in Milwaukee, at the end of July. Karen was telling people that Denise wasn't sure about whether Tommy Lampkin or Dan Brogell was the father. She had dated both during May and the early part of the summer. I spoke with Karen a few times in September. She made it clear that she was still interested in me, but said she wasn't ready to start taking any chances like we had before. She asked me if I still had the key to Agnes's apartment. I told her that I didn't have it anymore. She told me that Trudie was going to wind up pregnant too, because she was going out and doing stuff with several boys at once. She asked me if I was still one of the boys that Trudie did things with. "No, I haven't been going out with anyone for a long time. I kept getting myself into trouble, and it stopped being worth it. I don't even feel like doing anything like that anymore." "I don't believe that. Not even for one minute. I bet you'd do it all over again, if you only had the chance." "You might be right, but I doubt it. It used to be pretty simple in the beginning, but then it got too complicated. How about you? Who are you going with now?" "Nobody. I've been asked out exactly once since that time we stopped doing things. My parents said I couldn't go. He was seventeen though, and that's why they said I couldn't go with him. He had a driver's license too." "Next year, I get mine. Are you getting yours after our next birthday?" "My parents haven't talked to me about it. I think they want me to wait. Too many kids get in accidents. Are your parents really going to let you drive?" "I never asked them. I guess they will, especially if Kate comes back. My mom works, and she hardly drives her car, except to work and back home. If I could drive, she'd probably have me drop her off at the studio, and then pick her up at night. She used to do that with my father, but he stopped driving her. He said it was easier just to get her her own car. I don't think she really likes to drive." "After what happened to Denise, and that time with us, I'm too worried to want to go all the way anymore. I'd still like to do all the other stuff though, if we had a place to do it. Don't you miss it, really?" "Not as much as in the beginning. I miss the excitement some, but I can do part of it by myself." "It isn't the same. Now that I know the difference, it's a lot harder to be satisfied with doing myself. At least I can still remember some of the best times when I can't get to sleep some nights. When I get married, I'm going to make my husband do it with me two or three times a day." "That's still a long time away for either of us. I'm not getting married until I'm old, maybe thirty, or even older." "Not me! I'll get married right after high school. I'm going to have three or four kids right away too. That way, I'll still be young when they are old enough for me to do fun things with them. My parents waited too long, plus they only had me. I'm not going to have my children be lonely like I was." I looked over the incoming freshman class, trying to see whether Clara had changed much over the summer, but I didn't see her. After a week, I began to suspect that she wasn't enrolled in our school. I knew her grades had been too good for her to be held back a year, so that probably meant her mom had put her in St. Catherine's. If so, it surprised me. Why would she want Clara in an all girl high school? I could see an advantage for Clara to make a new start because of what had happened the year before, but to put her in with nothing but other girls? That seemed unlike Mrs. Townsend. I saw Aaron Coulter, the boy that Mrs. Townsend had said Clara was seeing now. He was standing in the hallway talking with four other people. Gladys Thomas, a girl I knew from my mom's dance studio, was standing real close to him, and Aaron had his arm across her shoulders. Later that day, I saw the two of them together again, they were holding hands now, walking out the side exit of the school. Aaron wasn't acting like Clara was his girlfriend. My first thought was to wonder if Clara knew what Aaron was up to. My second thought was that I should just mind my own business. I hadn't spoken one word to Clara since that Sunday when we'd had that argument. What she did, or what her boyfriend did, were no longer any concern of mine. What was I thinking? Did I really want to get involved again? Definitely not! Why was I following Aaron and Gladys then? I stopped walking, willing myself to stand there while Aaron and Gladys opened up a good gap on me. When the two of them turned left onto Grafton Street, I waited another couple of minutes before resuming my own walk home. When I got to Grafton myself, I didn't even look in the direction they had been heading. Instead, I crossed the street and continued walking steadily towards my own house. I had to really concentrate on not turning early to change my route so I could walk home via Clara's street. I managed it, surprised by the desire I had felt to go by there. I had believed that I was almost over Clara. Sometimes one or two days went by without me even thinking much about her. Why was she back in my head so strongly again? Nothing had changed that should have any effect on me. I thought about calling Mrs. Townsend, just to find out if Clara was okay. Maybe she was sick or something. I went into my bedroom and shut my door. I tried to get some studying done, but my mind kept going back to thinking about all the possible explanations for Clara's absence from our school. At five o'clock, I had worked myself up to being anxious on Clara's behalf. My mother came home at five thirty, and that was the only thing that prevented me from calling over to Clara's house. She took one look at me, and asked me what was the matter. "It's stupid, that's all it is. I was thinking about Clara, and wondering why she hasn't been in school. Today I saw her new boyfriend hanging out with another girl. I started worrying, for no reason, but I can't seem to stop." "I could call over to Clara's mother. I talk to her sometimes. I could ask her if Clara is all right. Make it seem like I was the one worried, because you told me she wasn't in school. Do you want me to do that?" "No, that's okay. I shouldn't be worried. It isn't any of my business. I don't even want to be concerned about her. Don't call there. I'll be okay." I went back into my bedroom and tried to get some more studying done before supper was ready. After talking with my mother, I had calmed down again. At six thirty, my mom called me to come eat. We were all sitting at the table, eating quietly. My parents would ask me to pass them whatever they needed, just so they didn't have to speak to each other. The closest they came to actually talking to each other, was when my father asked me to ask my mother to pass me the bread so I could pass it down to him. My mother handed me the bread plate and muttered something to herself in Hungarian. I didn't understand what she said, but my father must have. He jumped up from the dinner table, and walked off towards the basement stairs. "I called Clara's house, Larry. Clara is living with her father now, and attending school in Lawn Glen. Cecelia is very upset. Clara requested that she be allowed to live with her father. I'm worried about Cecelia. She sounded like she had been drinking. That isn't good so early in the day. You do the dishes by yourself tonight, Larry. I'm going to go visit with her, make sure that she is all right. If your papa comes upstairs and asks for me, tell him I went out, nothing more, just out." I cleared off the table, and did the dishes. When I was done, I went down to the basement. My father was sitting by himself on the sofa, sitting almost in the dark. I turned on the light over the stairs and walked down them. When I'd turned the light on, my father had looked up to see who it was. Seeing that it was me, he looked away quickly. He looked disappointed that it wasn't my mother, coming down to talk with him. I left the light on, even after I reached the bottom. Sitting in the dark wasn't anything that I liked to do. I came over and sat down on the sofa next to my dad. "Mama went over to visit Clara's mother. She's worried because Mrs. Townsend sounded drunk on the phone. Mama is very worried about Kate too." "Don't you start in with me Larry. I have to take it from your mama, but not from you." "Soon, you're going to force her to make a choice between you or Kate. She can't help choosing Kate. We're all going to lose when that happens. Why not let her bring Kate home while there is still a chance to save the marriage?" "I'm the papa. I decide, not her!" "Maybe in the old country. Not here. If you insist on trying to keep a mother from her child, you have to lose in the end. If you decided that now is the right time to bring her back, everyone wins." "It isn't the right time. Kate doesn't win. I thought you would understand that. It isn't me winning, Larry. I love Kate too. Do you think I wanted to send her away? Never! Every night I wish she was back here, sleeping in her bed. She needs to learn there are limits to what we can tolerate. She has gone way beyond those limits. "You can't possibly win. Kate's coming back, in spite of what you believe is best. You can't prevent mom from bringing her back. If you keep fighting to do that, you'll be divorced, and Kate will still be here. You need to make the decision. If you do it before she has to, you can pretend that you won. A pretend win, at least in this case, is better than a certain defeat. You don't have to bring Kate back right away. Tell mama that you've decided to bring Kate home in time for Christmas. When you set the time, mama will stop the fighting. It will be your terms, the ones that you set. She will still be happy that it was you that made the decision. When Kate gets back, tell her one more screw up, and back she goes." "Larry, believe me that I know you are correct with this assessment. Unfortunately, I cannot do what is best for me. I must do what I believe is best for Kate." "Lo Szar!" My father looked at me, then started laughing. "Horse shit? Is that what you are trying to say? Not a bad pronunciation, not bad at all. Where did you learn that?" "It popped into my head. Do you really believe it is better for Kate, if you and mama get a divorce? You have to stop making your decisions the way you do. You have to consider everything as all part of the whole. You can't possibly win unless you hurry up and announce the time for Kate to return. If you do that, you can't lose. Why run it out until there is no hope of salvaging anything, other than your pride in doing what you think is best?" "Is this what you would do if you were the papa?" "Yes! I wouldn't lose more than I absolutely needed to, not when I knew I couldn't win. You already know you aren't going to win if you keep holding out for Kate to stay in Hungary. Mama will do more now to make sure Kate doesn't get in more trouble. So will I, and so will Agnes. All you have to do is say Kate can return. Kate is going to learn, or she isn't. It doesn't matter what country she's in." "Could you respect me, Larry, knowing your papa made this decision based on what was best for him?" "I wouldn't think of it that way. Neither would anyone else, except, maybe, you. I think it is better for me, better for mama, better for you, and probably just as good for Kate. Your way is probably a little better for Kate, but bad for everyone else." "Are you sure? I was sitting here tonight, trying to see any way out that allows me to not be ashamed of myself as a father. My father would stick to his word. Why is is better that I go back on mine?" "What word? What you said when you were angry? Things were different then. Now you have better information. Kate has already been punished enough. Whatever was positive before, isn't now, and all the negatives are getting more negative. You have run out of time with this one. You need to make everyone happy and bring her home. Sometimes the thing that is best for you can be best for everyone else too." "This is your advice, your strong recommendation? If I were to do this, I would feel like a failure as a father." "Maybe. On the other hand, you would still be a father, and a husband. If you wait for the other way, you'll only have your own sense of having done the right thing. Mama will be trying to raise us kids by herself, and you will be a lonely man, wishing you still had your family." "I wish I didn't believe you were right. But, I know you are. I've made my decision. Kate can return before Christmas. She better not get in any more trouble though." "If she does, we'll punish her right here. She doesn't have to be in Hungary to be miserable. In America, we can produce misery too." "I know that. Your mama has produced plenty of it for me these past months. Don't say anything to her until I tell her myself. If I'm going to betray my own personal convictions, I want to extract my thirty pieces of silver for it." "I think you're going to remember tonight as one of your better decisions, papa. If you tell mama in your bedroom, make sure you shut the door before you tell her. She will probably want to tell you how much she appreciates your new decision." "In this too, I think you may be correct. It will not be unwelcome to me. This is the longest fight we've had in almost seventeen years. You really think I will come out appearing to be the winner?" "I don't have a single doubt. You will be the new family hero. Or else the family hero again." "Thank you, Larry. For pushing me to overcome my stubborn pride." "No thanks for me. I was only acting out of my own selfish interests. Have you noticed how bad mama's cooking has gotten? If you didn't decide to bring Kate back soon, I was probably going to emigrate just to get some good Hungarian cooking again." I was in my room when my mother got home, at around nine o'clock. She was in the kitchen when my father came up from the basement. He went to Kate's bedroom and opened the door. Then he shouted for my mother. "Elza! Elza! Come here!" I heard my mother coming running. My father sounded angry. That alone was reason enough for her to hurry. "Why is Kate's room looking like some kind of storage area? You need to get everything you've thrown in here out of her room. I've decided that I want her back home before Christmas. Enough is enough. If she misbehaves again, I'll make her life miserable. We don't need her thousands of miles away to make her miserable. We are her family, we can make her miserable right here, where we can watch it. I don't want her room looking like this when she comes back home." My mother said something, but it was so low that I couldn't make it out. They were in Kate's room for a long time. I was sure I heard my mother crying, but after awhile, it sounded like my father was crying too. I got up and closed my bedroom door. I got undressed and went to bed. I was happy for both my parents, and for myself. I wasn't sure that it was going to be a good thing for Kate, but even if it wasn't good for her, I could live with that. She better not screw up when I could find out about it. I wasn't going to help her with anything like that. When I got up for school, the door to my parents bedroom was closed. I made a bowl of cereal and got ready for school. I realized that I wasn't tense. It was the first time in a long time that I didn't feel tense. I didn't know whether my father had been close already to deciding to bring Kate back. He's a smart man. He had to know everything that I told him well before I said any of it. Sometimes, we all need that little push to help us overcome our inertia. Maybe my talking to him had provided that push. In two months, Kate would be back home. Maybe things would be better than they had been. I felt like Kate's being sent away had benefited me. It made me start focusing on the consequences of my bad decisions. I hadn't yet really tried to make good ones, but I was starting to find ways to avoid some of the more obvious bad choices. In January, Jane was going to be fourteen. I wondered where I could take her for her birthday. I already had more than fifty dollars saved from my lawn care money. It was money I made after I had paid off my parents. I'd swing by Bill's in the next few days and have a nice talk with Bill's mother. She would probably know just the place Jane would want to be taken. If I had to, I'd promise not to go very far with Jane. Something told me that I wouldn't have to promise Mrs. Terry that, but I knew Bill would make me promise him anyway. Now that Bill was back in school too, he was finding it a lot more difficult to find the time and the privacy to have sex with Brenda. With so many juniors and seniors having cars, Brenda and Eileen were constantly being asked out on car dates. Bill was already worried, and Brenda hadn't done anything yet. She would though, as soon as Eileen started telling her about the freedom gained by the mobility of riding in a car with boys. Eileen had started dating a senior during her first week in high school. She usually got a ride with him after school. She was having lots of fun and Brenda wasn't. ------- Chapter 45 After my father made the decision to bring Kate back home, things really got transformed around our house. Overnight, it got happy again. My mother couldn't do enough to try and please him. She even got my Aunt Agnes involved by having her take over some of her women's exercise classes during the mornings so that she could come home, and start preparing dinners for each evening. The meals really started picking up after that. To my mother's way of thinking, my father's decision to bring Kate home was proof, to her, of his love for her. She knew he hadn't wanted to do it, but, when he announced his decision, she knew that she was a big part of the reason he had changed his mind. My father still maintained that his decision was prompted solely by his realization that Kate didn't have to be in Hungary in order to be punished, and taught how to behave. Whatever, my mother was treating him like royalty. She even encouraged him to bring home some new 'projects' for the basement. My father brought home two pin ball machines that he had gotten for almost nothing. He was going to repair them and sell them, he said. He did manage to get one of them running, but only after he cannibalized a lot of relays from the other machine. I got to where I could win free games on it fairly easily, usually without putting the front legs up on my toes, and cheating by slowing down the progress of the balls in that way. My father started treating me better, too. I don't know if it was because of the talk I had with him in the basement, or not, but he started talking to me like he thought I was almost fully grown up. I liked him doing that, and, because I wanted him to keep treating me that way, I tried to act more grown up, and tried to be responsible. On Saturday, December 9th, 1961, my mother boarded the train to go to New York City in order to meet Kate's plane from Hungary. I think it was from London, actually, because I think Kate flew there first from Hungary, and had a layover before going to New York. My father and I were both waiting at home the next day. We went to the train station an hour early to wait for the train bringing in my mom and my sister. We knew they were on the train, because Zoli had called my father as soon as he got back from the train station, after watching them board, and then watching the train depart. We were standing on the arrivals platform watching as the train pulled in. Kate was almost fourteen now. When she jumped down off of the train, I recognized her right away. I had been afraid that I might not. The first thing she did was run right over to my father, hugging him, thanking him over and over for letting her come back home. Both of them were crying, and Kate was making a lot of promises about how good she was going to be from then on. I looked away for a minute, noticing my mother struggling with Kate's two big suitcases, plus her own small travel bag. I ran over and took the two heavy suitcases from her. We stood where we were, my mother enjoying watching my father and Kate as they hugged each other again. The last contact that they had was before Kate left, when my father had beaten her with his belt. From that time until this, they hadn't spoken one word to each other. "Look at your papa, Laurant. See how happy he is to have Katinka back with us? Sometimes I think that this was more difficult for him than for anyone else, even Katinka." My mother was now crying too. She, more than any of the rest of us, had longed to see this day come. I wasn't crying. I was real happy to have Kate home again, but I was also worried that she would soon do something that would sweep away all of the good will and the warm feelings that everyone was now enjoying. It wasn't that I felt sure that it would happen, but it did worry me. Mom and I started walking towards dad and Kate again. They had stopped hugging and as we approached, I heard Kate and my father speaking together in Hungarian. She had picked up quite a lot of Hungarian in the months she had lived in Budapest. When we got close, I put the two suitcases down, in order to rest my arms a little. That was when Kate turned and noticed me, for the first time, I think. She gave me a big smile. "Hello, Larry." She was smiling, but she also looked a little uncertain about what the reception was that she could expect from me. "Hi, Kate, long time no see. How was Hungary?" I wanted to go over and give her my own hug, but something was making me hold back from doing it. "It was so different from here. Did you miss me?" She was trying to wipe her face with her hands, sweeping away as much of the wetness from her cheeks as she could. "I missed you right from the very first day, the first minute that I found out. I was happy when dad decided to let you come home again. Don't I get a hug too?" Kate had grown in the past ten months. She was about three or four inches taller, it seemed like, and her boobs looked much bigger than they had when she left. She had let her hair grow longer too. She was beginning to look more like my mom. She no longer looked like a little girl, she looked at least two years older than when I saw her last. She came over and we hugged each other. It was more restrained than I had imagined it would be. It was the kind of hug I gave my Aunt Agnes when I hadn't seen her for awhile. I didn't say anything to her about it, and my father grabbed one of the suitcases and left the other for me. He and my mom walked ahead of Kate and I, as we left the station to go to my dad's car. "Mom said Clara moved away. Does she ever come to her mom's for a visit?" "I don't know. She and I stopped being friends, even before she left." "It was mean for you to never write to me. That's why I quit writing to you. It would have been nice to get a few letters from you." "I thought about writing, but I didn't know what to say to you. Your letters were all about you being mad, and about how you were wanting to show everyone that you were going to continue being like you had been. I just felt bad when I read them." "I felt bad when I was writing them to you. You wouldn't believe what it was like living over there. There was only one small bathroom for four families in our building. It was downstairs from where we were, and the water only ran for a few hours every day. I was lucky to get either a shower or a bath once a week. The food too. You had to wait in lines for everything, or else buy food on the black market. Half the time they were out of what you needed. Everyone lives so crowded too. The people were nice, when I could understand them. I cried every night for the first three months. One night, I just got tired of crying, and I started trying to make the best of things. I was mad too, but I knew it wasn't doing any good." "You're back now. What are you going to do?" "I'm going to get really clean, then I'm going to go to sleep on my own bed, in my own room. When I get up, I'm going to have daddy take me to Frank's, and I'm going to have a big burger meal, with a lot of greasy French fries, and a thick chocolate shake. Then, after, I'm going to go in my room and play all of my records, over and over. I'm not coming out until I'm sick of hearing all of my records. Mama said I don't have to start school until after the New Year. Did she tell you that I was taking dancing lessons in Hungary? Four hour long lessons. I couldn't believe how good some of the younger girls were. It wasn't anything like what they teach us over here." "I meant how are you going to behave?" Kate looked at me. We both knew that this was the sixty four dollar question. I had already decided that I was going to be treating her different, depending on her answer. If she was still the same old Kate, then she and I were going to be adversaries. I hoped that I was keeping my face neutral, but I feared that my anxiousness might be showing through. "Larry, I'm not going to do anything that might get me sent back there. I already knew that I shouldn't have been doing a lot of stuff I did. I knew it before they sent me away. I'm not sure what I was doing. Well, I knew what, I didn't know why I did those things. I'm not talking about the things Clara and I did with each other, just the things with those boys. It wasn't even like it was really happening to me, and being caught was so embarrassing. I couldn't let people know how sorry I was, so I tried to pretend it didn't matter to me what you all thought. When I was in Hungary, I kept remembering the things that you and mom and dad did and said to me. I didn't think any of you ever wanted to see me, not ever again." She was crying again and I put my free arm around her. We got up to the car, and both of our parents were looking at me questioningly. "I never felt like that, Kate, never. I didn't want to watch you continuing to do all those things that were hurting you. I was mad at some of the things you said, and did, but I still loved you." "You didn't hate me for having Clara do those things too?" "No, and besides, Clara made her own decisions about what to do. She already told me that she was first with Leon, before you did it with Keith. She also told me about why you both were doing it with those other boys when you got caught. If you told mom and dad how that happened, they might not have been so shocked by it." "What did Clara say happened?" "The other boys said they'd tell on you, about Keith and Leon if you didn't do it with them too." "Oh. They did say that, but that wasn't the reason we let them. Clara didn't say anything about the money?" "No. She just said they threatened you." "They gave us each ten dollars too." I looked at her. I wondered why Clara hadn't told me that too. That was worse, taking money for doing it. That made them both whores. "She never told me that. I guess she was embarrassed." "Clara's mom knew, the principal told her, and then she told mom about that part of it. I thought you knew it too." "No, I'm hearing it right now, from you, for the very first time. I wish I didn't know it now too." Kate started crying again, and ran over to my mother. My father and I put the suitcases in the car and drove home. Kate sat in back with my mother, and I sat up in front. On the ride home, I didn't know what to think. I don't even know why it bothered me so much. I wish I'd found out about that part of it sooner. What had the two of them been thinking? When we got home, I carried one of the big suitcases into Kate's room and left it there. I went over to my room and shut the door behind me. My father went out and bought some pastrami sandwiches at the deli, and brought them back for us to eat. My mom was too tired to do any cooking. My Aunt Agnes had come over too, and all five of us sat at the dinner table, eating and talking. I was the only one who wasn't talking. Finally, Agnes asked me if I was glad to see Kate again. "Sure. I'm just hoping she learned her lesson this time." I excused myself and went back to my room. Ten minutes later, while my dad was giving Agnes a ride home, my mother knocked on my bedroom door and asked me if she could come in. "Laurant, what is the matter? You don't seem happy to see your sister. It is upsetting her." "No, it isn't that. I'm glad she's home. It's just that she told me something that I hadn't known about." "The money from those boys?" "Yes, I didn't know about that part." "Katinka told me that you didn't. That is my fault. I should have talked about what happened with you more. It wasn't something I knew how to discuss with you. Your papa didn't know how to do it either. None of us were comfortable discussing it that time. Now, because we didn't properly prepare you, Katinka is afraid that your reaction means that you don't want her here with us." "It isn't like that. It's going to take some time for me to get used to knowing it. It isn't just Kate. It's also about Clara. This isn't what she told me about how or why it happened." "Does it matter that much, Laurant? It is in the past now. You must try to make Katinka feel welcomed back to the family. We all make mistakes. Let us try to put Katinka's behind us. We can't change the past." "I didn't say anything bad to her. I'm still happy she is home. I just need some time to get things straight in my head." "Tell her that you are happy she is home. This is hard enough for her right now. She has to go back to school soon, and face her schoolmates for the first time since it happened. We are counting on you to support her, and help her get through this." "I'll try. Can't I just spend sometime alone tonight though? Tell her that I'm mostly disappointed with Clara right now, for not being truthful to me." My mom got up, after patting my knee, and left my bedroom. I had another week of school to go before Christmas vacation started. My mother was going to take Kate to work with her until after the first of the year. I got up and went to take my shower. I didn't stay in there too long, or use up all the hot water. When I came out, I saw Kate sitting on her bed, looking at me as I passed by. I smiled at her and wished her a good night. Ten minutes after I went into my bedroom, Kate came and knocked on my door. I put down the book I was reading, and told her to come in. "Larry, I'm sorry. Don't be mad at Clara. The money was my idea, not hers. She didn't want to even do anything with any of the boys." "I'm mad because she never told me about the money." "Larry, if you're mad at Clara because of this, mama isn't going to let her come visit me. She told me already. She doesn't want this to start more trouble, because of dad. You have to tell her that you don't mind if Clara comes to visit with me." "I would mind. Right now, I'd mind a lot. I don't want her here. I don't want you and her together now. I don't think it would be good for you, and I know it wouldn't be good for me." "I knew you were going to be like this. You just don't want me having Clara for my friend. You're just jealous." "Same old Kate. If you don't get your own way, you start right in attacking, and making it worse. I didn't ask mom to tell you anything about you and Clara. I'm telling you what I want, and what I think about Clara coming over. In March, you'll be fourteen. If you behave between now and then, I'll tell mom that I don't mind if Clara comes to visit you. If you want to start a fight over this before that, be my guest. I don't think you'll win it." "You can win right now, Larry. I won't try for now to get mom to change her mind. Now I know that you're against me though, and I won't forget it. You aren't the only one who can spoil things around here." She left, closing my door softly behind her. The next morning, I got up early to get ready for school. My mother was in her room getting ready to go down to the dance studio. My father was sitting at the dinette, drinking a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper. When he heard me, he put his paper down and told me good morning. I told him good morning too. "Did you straighten things out with your sister, Larry?" Kate came into the kitchen just as he asked me that. I turned to look at her. She looked nervous about what I might say. "Every thing's the same papa. Kate's just like she was before she left." "That's good, Larry. I was worried that something was wrong between you two." My dad got up from his chair, rinsed his cup in the sink, grabbed his briefcase and went out to get into his car to go to work. Kate and I watched him leave. "You just tried to get me into trouble, didn't you?" "No, if I wanted to get you into trouble, I'd do it with mom. Dad doesn't listen, or if he does, he only hears what he wants to hear. Mom listens." "I shouldn't have gotten mad last night, I'm sorry." "Kate we both understand each other. I know that you haven't changed, but I don't need to get you into trouble. You'll do that all by yourself. Yesterday, I started out wanting to help you, to give you the best chance to not fall into the same traps all over again. You showed me that it wouldn't matter, that you're still determined to have your own way with things. I can accept that, but I'm not going to try to help you, or cover for you. The last time, your way almost cost mom and dad their marriage, and you got sent away for ten months. If you didn't learn anything from that, you aren't going to learn anything from the advice I could give you. I bet you're back in Hungary before the first of the year. I probably won't see you again for at least two years after that." "Mom already told me that she'd never send me back there. If you would do what I asked you, we wouldn't have to be fighting." "If I did what you asked me, it would just speed up the time for you to leave the family again. Mom said the last time that she'd never let dad send you away too. I guess I just imagined that you were visiting Hungary all this time. Dad already has your travel papers, and he's keeping them handy. Don't make all your decisions based on the idea that you won't get sent back there. Already Zoli's sister is asking if we know of anyone else who wants to come stay in Budapest for awhile." "I don't believe you! You're lying!" "What don't you believe, Katinka? Why are you shouting at your brother?" My mother had come up behind us without either of us noticing it. She had a worried frown on her face. Kate wasn't going to answer her. She just continued her glaring over at me. "Kate said you promised you weren't going to send her back to Hungary. Now she thinks she can go right back to her stupid behavior, and nothing bad will happen to her." "I didn't say that. He's lying Mama!" "Katinka, don't make the mistake of believing that you won't be punished for any misbehavior. As for Hungary, the only way I'd let your father send you back there, is if I felt you deliberately broke your promises to me. We've all suffered enough. It's time to make a new beginning. I won't fight for you unless you show me that you value living here." "It was me that had to go to Hungary. You at least got to suffer in comfort." My mother moved so quickly, I barely saw her hand lash out and slap Kate's face so hard, that the noise it made, caused me to wince in sympathy. "You think it was comfortable worrying about you every day and every night? What did I do wrong that I needed to suffer? What did your papa do that was so bad he had to feel terrible for all these months? Don't speak to me of comfort, Katinka, and don't believe, not even for one minute that you can't find yourself sitting on the next plane to Hungary. What you've already done has broken my heart as well as your papa's. You almost broke up my marriage. That will never happen again. You are older now, and you already speak some Hungarian. It won't be so worrisome to me if I decide to send you back. I made a mistake, trying to reassure you from your fears. I didn't want you to worry. Now, I'm telling you the truth. The next time you make me mad enough to slap you, I'll put you on that airplane and take you there myself. If that happens, you will be as dead to me as if you were already buried somewhere." I didn't know if my mother was serious in her threats or not, but she sure sounded convincing. Kate had her hand up, rubbing the place where she had been slapped. She looked frightened, vulnerable, and hurt. I wanted to say something to defuse the tension, but I didn't want Kate to know that I was weakening. "Mama, can you give me a ride to school so I won't be late? You can beat Kate some more, later on, at the studio." My mother narrowed her eyes until they were tiny, venomous slits. The look on her face froze me right in my place, there in the kitchen. My legs were too weak for me to move. My mother could be scary when she turned it up to full power like she just had. "Don't try to make fun of your sister's troubles, Laurant. Soon enough the tables could be reversed, and it might be her who is laughing at you. We have to get going now, else we will all be late." The three of us went out to my mom's car. I wasn't going to argue with her. Kate must have felt the same way, because she beat me to the car and got to sit up front. When my mother dropped me off at school, Kate was looking around at all the students. She was probably trying to find out what all the other girls were wearing. Ten months away is a long time in the cycle of fashion crazes of young kids. I got out, thanked my mother for the ride, and put some distance between us as quickly as I could manage. I was glad to be away from the two of them. As I walked up the front steps of the school, I wasn't hopeful that peace was going to last in our home. Already I felt the tenseness that had left me when my father announced his decision to bring Kate back. I should have told Kate the truth, that I was afraid to see Clara again. Afraid that if I did, I'd find out that I still loved her as much as I had before. I knew that Kate was going to keep working on me to change my mind. In her own way, Kate was every bit as tenacious as my mother. I had liked it better when I had Kate's arrival to look forward to, and didn't have to deal with the problems of her actually being here again. ------- Chapter 46 Things went pretty well for the family leading up to Christmas. My mother was taking Kate with her wherever she went. She didn't want to take any chances on Christmas being spoiled by something bad happening that involved Kate. There was a lot of shopping for presents that needed to be done. Ever since that first day when we argued, Kate had been quietly trying to work on me, hoping to get me to change my mind about Clara coming over. My mother waded in on Kate's side by casually mentioning to me that Mrs. Townsend had called her to tell her that Clara was home for the Holidays. She said that Mrs. Townsend was hoping that I'd allow Clara and Kate to get together for at least a few hours, at least once while Clara was visiting. My mother knew that Mrs. Townsend was hoping to use Kate's presence to try to get Clara to decide to come back and live with her. My mother was sympathetic with Mrs. Townsend's hopes. I guess mothers all stick together on stuff like that. I listened to what she was saying, but I didn't say anything in return. Finally, my mother got tired of waiting for me to volunteer that it would be all right with me for Clara to be coming over. "Laurant, what harm could possibly come from Clara and Katinka meeting here for a few hours? I would be here, keeping both of them in plain view, for the entire time the visit was taking place. You don't have to be here, not if it makes you uncomfortable. It would mean a lot to Katinka." "I never told you not to let Kate see Clara. I don't happen to think it's such a good idea, but I never said anything about any of that to you." "Why is it not a good idea?" "I don't know. It's just a feeling that I have about when those two get together. When they do, each of them wind up doing things that end up being bad for the both of them. Why encourage that?" "Do we just hold your sister in custody like some kind of dangerous criminal then? Keep her away from everybody else because we fear her getting into more trouble?" "Do what you want to. Did you talk to papa about this?" "I don't need to check with your papa about friends visiting Katinka." "Then you don't need my approval either. Let me know when you have it planned for, and I'll go somewhere else until it is over." "I was hoping to do it this afternoon, Laurant. From one o'clock until about five. Do you have your Christmas shopping all done?" I nodded to her, then turned around and headed back to my room. I left the house right after eating my lunch at noon. I wasn't going to take any chances on accidentally running into Clara. Kate was running all around the house, like a chicken with it's head cut off. She was really excited that she was finally going to get to see Clara again. She didn't exactly gloat at me to show me that she had gotten her way, but she did look my way and smile that little smile of hers several times. Kate knew that she had just won her first big victory since her return. I took comfort in knowing that she hadn't succeeded in getting me to do her bidding. She had been forced to use Mrs. Townsend, just like Mrs. Townsend was using her to try to get what she wanted. I walked out of the house, and walked over to Bill's house, but he had already left to go spend some time with Brenda at Eileen's apartment. Their relationship was still going on, but now, Brenda wasn't going steady with him. She had already gone out on several car dates, doubling with Eileen. Bill was unhappy, but not unhappy enough to break things off with her completely. Bill's mom was there, and invited me in for a minute. "I hear that Kate's back home, Larry. I imagine your mother is happy and relieved about that?" "We all are. Ten months was a long time for her to be gone." "Yes, I can't imagine having Sissy gone from me for that long. Your mother must be a stronger woman than I am." "I'm glad Kate's back, but she doesn't seem any different. I was hoping being in Hungary would change her more." "She might be more changed than she lets on to you. Girls, especially the ones her age, and I guess her age and older really, don't want to be seen as predictable. Watch what she does. It might surprise you how changed she really is." "I'm still planning on asking Jane out again when she turns fourteen. Are you going to let her go out with me?" "That depends. What are you planning for her?" "I guess maybe a movie, and then getting something to eat again. Do you know what her favorite restaurant is?" "That isn't what I meant, Larry. I meant, what do you plan on doing with her, if I do decide to let you take her out?" "Do you ask Bill what he plans to do when he takes a girl out?" "No, I already know what Bill is hoping to do." "What are you hoping that I'll say to you?" "I guess I'm hoping that you'll tell me that you know how young you both still are, and that you wouldn't do anything that might harm Sissy's future." "I know how young we both still are, and I wouldn't do anything that might harm Jane's future." "Can I trust you when you say that?" "No." She looked at me and barked out a laugh, then she swept me up in her arms and gave me a big bear hug. "Oh, Larry! What am I going to do about you? I want so badly to be able to say yes to you, but I just know that if I do, Sissy is going to wind up flat on her back, with you on top of her. She always asks Bill about you, and you wouldn't believe some of the questions she's asked me ever since your last date with her." "So, the answer is no then?" "No, you can ask her out. She's just going to have to take her chances, I guess. I'm going to be talking to her though, warning her about all the things you're going to be trying to do. Do you think there's any way that she'll refuse to let you do them?" "I'd never ask her to do anything unless I already knew she wanted to." "What about Bill?" "I don't know. He isn't going to like me going out with her." "I'll talk to him, let him know that he isn't to interfere with you and Sissy going out. He might still decide to lay you out though, just on general principles." "I'm faster than he is. He's hit me enough already. If I had to, I could probably whip him, if I had enough room to run around and tire him out. I hope he just leaves me alone though." "When are you going to ask her?" "For her birthday. Where do you think she'd like to go to eat?" "She loves that Chop Suey place that opened over next to the drug store. They don't stay open that late though. You might need to eat first, and then go to the movies. Larry, be sure that she wants to do it, before you get her all excited and just take it from her. If she's anything like her mother, she can't think straight when she gets all hot and bothered. If you aren't sure, make her wait to decide after she gets back to acting like her normal self again." "How about if I make her tell you she wants me to do it to her, and have her ask you for your permission, before we ever do it?" "Do you think I'd give her my permission?" "I think you already have given it, in your own mind." "For you to ask her out, Larry. I haven't told either of you what you may do after that." "Do you think you'd let her if she asked you for your permission for us to do it?" "No, I'm sure I wouldn't. Are you still going to make her ask me?" "Yes, and if you tell her not to do it, I won't do it." "I'd never tell her she has my permission." "I'm counting on that. You can depend on me to keep my word too." "What do you want from me in return for this? I'm sure you must want something?" "Keep Bill from getting too upset about me going out with Jane." "That's it?" "That's it." "I have your word then? No screwing without getting my permission first." "Yes. That doesn't mean we won't be doing other stuff though." "I agree then. If you end up lying to me, Larry, I'll make you very sorry that you did." I smiled at her. I knew that I could keep my end of the bargain. I liked Jane. I knew that we could enjoy spending time together. She would have to accept her mother's limits, just like I was prepared to do. Still, even with that, there was a lot that we could do together. I was still worried that Bill was going to be a problem. That day, with our two sisters on the couch in Bill's living room had shown both of us the potential problems that might occur. I was hoping that Bill would be less worried now that Jane was older. Because Bill was doing things himself now, I also thought that might make him less worried about Jane doing some of those things too. It was after one by the time I left Mrs. Terry's house. I started walking towards the main part of town, not really having any idea about where I wanted to go. I just didn't want to go back home until Clara was gone. I was walking past the dance studio and I looked in the window, noticing my Aunt Agnes giving a lesson to Trudie, and some other girl. I hadn't seen Trudie for a long time, but she still looked the same to me. She didn't look like she had grown any taller, and her body shape seemed the same too. I went inside and sat down in the bleachers on the side that my mom had bought for waiting parents to sit in. Mostly, the people taking classes used it to leave their stuff on while they were taking their class. I watched Trudie and the other girl, while my aunt had them working on different components. Trudie was working on a spin with her leg fully extended in front of her, about waist high. The other girl was doing deep bends with a movement of her hand from above her head, down to the floor, and finishing with it behind her back. When she bent down, I noticed a small tear in her leotard, right in the back part of her crotch area. Trudie was looking at me, watching where I was staring. When I noticed her grinning at me, I smiled back and waved at her. After fifteen more minutes of repeating the same component, Trudie decided to take a break. She walked over to me. "Hello Larry, did you come for a lesson, or do you just like to stare at Birdie's pussy?" "Is that really her name, Birdie?" "That's what I always call her. I think her real name is Bridget. She reminds me of a bird because she flaps her arms around so much. I sure haven't been seeing much of you, not since you stopped going out with Denise." "How is Denise? Is she still in Milwaukee, visiting?" "She's all right. We all went over to see her last weekend. She's so big now. She's due to deliver around the end of February. There's this couple that are going to adopt her baby. It's all arranged, except that now, Denise isn't sure that she wants to give her baby away. My mother is having a canniption fit arguing with her about it. I don't know why she'd even want to keep it. I heard Kate was home now. Is she just visiting, or is it for keeps?" "It's for keeps if she stays out of trouble. If not, she's just visiting. I heard you were out running really wild. Aren't you afraid of ending up like Denise?" "No. I've cut way back, ever since my mom found me with this boy over in my dad's workshop. She threatened to put me in a home for bad girls if I ever did it again. I have to be real careful now. What about you, are you still being careful?" "More than careful, I've quit doing stuff." "That was going to be my next question, whether you wanted to do it to me again?" "I would, but I've quit it." "Well, that's too bad then. You were almost the only one that would be worth it for me to take a chance on getting caught again. Do you ever go out with Karen? I haven't ever been licked like she does it. I wish that she and I were still friends." "I talk to her sometimes. You want me to tell her that you wish she would invite you over for a sleepover?" "Tell her to call me. She could come over to my house, and it would be better. Tell her that I'd do her too. I better get back before Aggie blisters my butt. She hits us sometimes, if she doesn't think we're trying hard enough." "Do you mean she blisters your butt, as in spanks you?" "Yes. She's done it to me, whacked my butt, three different times so far. Some of the other girls she hits way more than me. She hits hard too." That surprised me. I knew my mother never hit a student. I wondered why Agnes would discipline them that way. I decided not to mention it to my mom, but I'd ask Agnes about it. Maybe that was normal, at least with the more advanced students. I just couldn't imagine my sweet Aunt Agnes hitting anyone though. After Trudie and the other student left, my aunt came over and sat down next to me. She too was sweating heavily, because she had been working out also, the whole while she supervised her two students. "Trudie is going to be a wonderful dancer. She picks things up so quickly. I was worried that she would get too big, but she has stopped growing. Already she is my best student." "Is that why you've only spanked her butt three times?" "Did she complain of this to you? This is how I was taught, Larry. You need the discipline in order to not keep repeating the same mistakes." "She says you spank all of the advanced students." "No, I only spank the ones who have real potential. The others, it simply wouldn't be of any help to them." "Mama never spanks any students." "Are you going to speak with her about my methods?" "Not if you don't want me to. It isn't any of my business how you decide to teach." "These spankings are good for the students." She paused and looked at me. She continued in a low voice. "They are good for the teacher too." "You enjoy spanking them?" My aunt's face and neck were all flushed, but a darker red than she had been before, when all of it was just from her workout. She looked embarrassed, but tried to appear like she wasn't. She failed in that. "It is how I was taught. There is a close relationship between a dancer and her coach. Almost like a parent, or a close relative. The student must know that their progress matters to the teacher. When I was a student, the spanking reassured me, made me know that what I did was important to my teacher. It was a part of our bond." "So, you liked being spanked?" Agnes was now crimson. She had her head cast down, both of her hands resting on her black leotard. She nodded, but so slightly that I wasn't sure if she was telling me yes, or if her head had just moved on its own. "Was that a yes? You do like it?" Again she nodded, but this time there was no doubt that she was answering me. I didn't know what to say to her. I hated being spanked. "It wasn't just the spanking. It was being singled out in front of the others, and humiliated for doing wrong." "But, you said you liked it. You liked being embarrassed in front of the other dancers too?" "Like isn't the right word, Larry. I never liked it. It was something else. When it happened, and it never happened very often, it excited me. I shouldn't have told you any of this, Larry, you are too young to understand me. I only wanted to explain that it isn't just a spanking, and it is only with some of the students, the ones who can benefit from that type of discipline. Trudie is like me in that way. After a spanking, she is twice as dedicated as before. I think it excites her to be spanked as well." "You mean excited like in sex excited, that way?" Agnes nodded her head again, forcefully, this time. She didn't look up or try to make eye contact with me. This was so weird. Agnes was a very good teacher though. Everyone said so. Who was I to question her methods? I didn't think my mother would understand any of it, and that's probably why Agnes was worried that I'd tell her about it. "Don't worry Agnes. I'm not going to say anything to mama. You should do what you think is best to teach your students. I bet you're right about Trudie liking it that way too. Almost anything gets her excited." "You have heard this, Larry, and are just repeating what you have heard, or do you know this from personal observation?" "Trudie and I have done things together, maybe about a year ago now. She is a quick learner in that too." "I see. That is interesting. You have stopped doing things with her now?" "With Trudie, and with everyone else too." "I've noticed that you never use my apartment. It is unusual for a young man to just quit like you say you have. Was there a reason? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." "It was a lot of things. What happened with Kate, plus once a rubber I was using broke, I was afraid I'd made the girl pregnant. Then I had some girlfriend troubles. There were a lot of other, smaller, different reasons, but it was mostly that it was making my life too complicated. I decided to stop for awhile, and try to get everything back to normal again." "Did Trudie stop as well?" "No, at least not that I've heard. She did say that her mother caught her with another boy, and she is being very careful about doing anything now." "You have no interest in doing things with her now? I'm not trying to encourage this, I am just curious." "I haven't thought about starting up with her again. She is a little bit wild already. There's this other girl that she and I both did things with. Trudie told me that she'd like to do more things with her." I watched my aunt for any reaction to this information, but there was none. "You still have your key to the apartment, Larry. You can still use it on Tuesdays and Thursdays, if you decide to do anything." "Maybe I should give YOU a spanking, for trying to tempt me to be bad again." My aunt gave me one of my mother's looks. The kind she gave me when she was seriously mad at me. "I only let women spank me, Larry. I've never been spanked by men or boys." She got up then, and walked away from me. I had only been kidding with her. She couldn't really think I meant to spank her. I didn't know if I should run after her and explain better, or if I should leave it alone before I made it worse. I decided to leave it alone. Agnes was in the storage area, moving things around. I could hear her in there. I went over to see if she needed my help. It had been about ten minutes since she had left me sitting there. I got to the doorway, and Agnes was wrestling with the mats, trying to move them to a different area and turn them over so they could breath on another side. I went and took the one from her hands and moved it over against the other two she had stacked up against the wall. I went back to get another, only to find Agnes laying on it, face down and sobbing. I immediately felt terrible. I had caused her to feel bad like this. I hated making her feel bad, but I didn't know what to say to her. I just stood there, waiting for her to do something so that I would know what to do. Eventually, maybe after five minutes, she quit crying, and sat back up again. "Larry, I'm so sorry that you should see me like this today. I wasn't crying because of anything that happened here today. It was something else entirely. Let me get up, and you can arrange these last three mats for me. We can go up to my apartment after, and I'll make us both some nice hot tea. You can tell me then what plans you have for Christmas this year. I'll leave now and go get the teas started. Make sure the studio door is locked when you leave, and then come up and join me." She left, and I moved those last three mats over against the wall. One of them had a big stain on it, so I went and got a wet cloth and cleaned it off. It looked like someone had left chocolate on it, but it came right out with the wet cloth. It was almost time for me to wash all of them down with alcohol and peroxide again. I made a mental reminder to do it before Christmas while the studio would be closed. It made the mats stink for a day or two, unless you left them outside to dry off. When I was finished with the mats, I turned off all the lights and made sure to lock the front door. I went around to the back and climbed up the stairs to Agnes's apartment. I knocked, then heard her tell me to come in. I went inside, and Agnes asked me to take the water off the stove when it came to a boil. She went in and closed her bedroom door. A minute later, I heard the shower running. She didn't take a long shower, because it was only a minute or two later when I heard the shower being turned off. I had just taken the boiling water off when Agnes came back out into the front room. She had a robe on, and her hair was wrapped in a towel. She went and got some tea, and threw it into the boiling water. We waited for the tea to be ready, and while we did, Agnes took her towel off and started drying her hair with it. While she was rubbing the towel through her hair, her robe came partially open and I got a good look at one of her titties, before she noticed, and closed her robe back up. Agnes went back to drying her hair and then turned and walked back into her bedroom. This time, she didn't close her bedroom door. She dropped the wet hair towel on the floor, and then took her robe off. She had to know that I was watching her. She had never done anything like that in front of me before. She stood there, five feet or so in back of where the door was, but still plainly visible to me. She had nothing covering her up now, and she made no effort to hide any of herself from my view. It looked like she was smiling at me, but it wasn't a happy smile. It was more wistful, almost melancholy. I saw one of her hands move up and cup her breast. Agnes wasn't large breasted, not more than a handful in her small hands. She toyed with her breast and nipple, then she pinched her nipple, hard, until I heard her gasp from the pain. She took her other hand and started playing between her legs. She was twenty feet away from me, and I could still hear the squishy sounds that her fingers were making as she played with her pussy. She had to be pretty wet to make a noise like that. "Do you enjoy watching me do this, Larry? Don't look if you don't enjoy it." Her voice sounded strained, like it was difficult for her to speak. I kept on looking. "I'm being very bad, Larry. I don't know why I'm acting this way with you. Ever since you said that you should spank me, I've been almost on fire from thinking about you doing that. I've never been spanked by a man." I watched her, fascinated. She was pulling on her nipples, and, sometimes, twisting them. All the while she was doing that, her other hand was busy between her legs. She wasn't slow or gentle in the handling of her pussy either. In fact, she would sometimes grab at it, and pull her lips out as far as she could, before releasing them and starting it all over again. I had never seen anyone so frantic before. Once, when Clara was in my bedroom, she had been a little rough on her pussy, but not anything like Agnes was being. I couldn't believe how much just watching this was getting me excited. I had to make a real quick decision. I either had to get out of Agnes's apartment right away, or else pull out my dick and beat off. Neither option appealed to me. "Agnes, you need to stop, or close your door. If you don't, I'm liable to do something bad too." "What would you do that was bad? Tell me." "I'm going to pull my dick out. I can't stand too much more of watching this." "That's okay, Larry. I don't mind you doing that. Just don't try to touch me yet." She came closer while she talked to me. The whole time though, she hadn't stopped playing with herself. Now that she was closer, I could see her a lot better. Both of her breasts were dark pink from the pulling, twisting, and pinching she was doing to them. She was going to leave marks on them from doing that. She stopped when she was about four feet away from me. "Take your pants down Larry. It's okay, I want you to." I stood up and that's what I did. First my jeans, and then my underpants. My dick was red, and swollen as big as I'd ever seen it. "Rub it, Larry. Rub it so that you can cum. I want to see you cum." I moved backwards and sat back down on the chair. I needed to sit because I knew when I came, my legs would be too weak to hold me up. I knew it wasn't going to take me long to cum either. My hand was already moving up and down on my pole. I was making squishy sounds of my own to go with the ones that Agnes was making. She had moved closer to me when I retreated to the chair. She was on my right now, about a foot away from my knee. "Stop! Don't cum yet, Larry. Let me lay on your lap, and then you need to spank me really hard. Don't worry about hurting me, or leaving any marks. The harder you spank me, the more I'll like it." She lowered herself down on my lap as she spoke. I took my hand away from my dick as she slid her chest forward over it. Before long, she had put all of her weight in my lap. I looked down at her ass. She had her legs spread a little bit, and I could see her asshole, and some juices leaking out of her pussy. I reached my hand back and really let her have it, right in the middle of her ass. She jumped half a foot, and when she came down, I gave her another five or six swats exactly where the first one had gone. There was a red hand print on her ass, the finger marks on her right cheek, and the palm print on the left. Agnes was sobbing and moving her head and the rest of her body around wildly. "More, Larry, do it more. I'm almost there!" WHACK, WHACK, WHACK.WHACK!!! Four more, delivered as hard as I could. I felt like my hand was on fire from the pain of hitting her so hard, and so often. It was enough though. Agnes was in full orgasm. I watched her butt and her pussy as they spasmed, looking like they were trying to get some air inside them or something. I'd seen the same movement after licking girls to a good orgasm. Agnes was definitely having a good one. We both stayed right where we were. I rubbed her ass with my hand, softly, worried about how hard I'd hit her. Now that I'd done it, a thousand doubts came into my mind. If my dad ever found out what I'd done, I was sure he would kill me, saving us all the trouble of me flying to Hungary. Of all the dumb things I'd ever done, this had to be the dumbest. Agnes started stirring again, and she was sliding off of my lap. I tried to catch her, but she resisted me and so I let her do it her way. When she was almost off of me, I felt her mouth begin to lick on my cock. I had forgotten about my cock in all of the recent weirdness. No more though. Agnes took me into her mouth, and in less than two minutes, I was shooting everything I had in my balls right down her throat. It was a lot, and Agnes swallowed as fast as she could. I hadn't tried to pull out or warn her. She must not have expected me to. When I was finished cumming, and she was all finished with swallowing, she stayed right where she was, while my dick shrank back down to practically nothing. I really felt drained. For the next fifteen minutes at least, Agnes kept my dick inside her mouth. She would give it little sucks, but she wasn't trying to arouse me. She just wanted to suck it some more. She did it like a baby breast feeding from it's mother. It was a long time before she let the head of it pop back out of her mouth. She stood up and smiled down at me. "This has to be only our secret, Larry. No one can know. Especially not your mama or papa. I never should have done this with you, but I've been so sad and lonely ever since my special friend found someone else. Are you going to be all right with what just happened?" "I'm not even sure what just happened. I know you wanted me to spank you, but I guess I went too far with it. Did I hurt you too bad?" "No, not at all. It was just exactly what I needed. Any harder would have been too much, but any softer wouldn't have been enough. Did spanking me excite you?" I tried to think if it had. I didn't think so. Watching her before had really excited me. Spanking her had worried me more than anything else. I didn't get any pleasure from doing it. I knew that she wanted me to tell her that it had. If it had excited me, then she needn't feel so guilty about what we had just done. "The whole thing excited me, but I liked the last part the most. The spanking was good, because it made you want to do all of the rest of this with me. I don't regret any of it. If you're ever bad again though, I'm going to spank you even harder. Next time, I won't just settle for being in your mouth either. If you don't want me to put my dick inside your pussy, you better never be bad like this again. This is the only warning you're getting." "You wouldn't mind then, if I really needed you to do it again?" "Agnes, I didn't mind any of this. I'm not sure I understand why you liked it, but I know that you did. If you need it again, and I spank you, I'm going to do the other thing to you too. I don't know whether you are willing to let me do that to you or not. Don't be bad if you aren't." "I don't have much experience with men, Larry. I'm not sure whether I could even fit you inside me all the way. I'm going to really try not to be bad. If I am though, let that be a part of my punishment." We had to reheat the steeped tea, but it was still good. I had gone in and taken a shower of my own while she was heating it back up. We drank our tea and sat at the table, talking about everything we could think of that wouldn't remind either of us of what we had just done. I didn't regret it, but it still seemed very strange to me. I was glad when it got to be five o'clock and I had to tell Agnes it was time for me to go back home. Before I left, she made me tell her again that I wouldn't tell anyone about what had happened in her apartment. I could tell she was really worried. I also knew she didn't have anything to worry about as far as me telling this to anyone. I didn't know it for sure, but I expected that Agnes was going to be bad again fairly soon. I was going to start carrying rubbers around whenever I was out of my house now. This had been totally unexpected, but, not at all unwelcome, at least not unwelcome once I got over the strange type of foreplay that Agnes required. ------- Chapter 47 Walking home, after leaving my aunt's apartment, I was filled with concern about the possibility of being found out by my mother. I didn't think it would be that difficult keeping my secret from my father, but my mother was very close to Agnes, and could often just look at my face, immediately knowing when something was amiss. While I was very concerned about being caught, I would have been willing to turn right around and do the whole thing over again. It was something so new and exciting to me, that it almost didn't seem real. I knew it really had happened, and yet, it was still unbelievable. As soon as I walked into my home, I knew that something had happened. My father was sitting on the sofa in the living room stony faced, but obviously, unhappy. I heard my mother in the kitchen, speaking to herself loudly, in Hungarian. I also heard Kate in her bedroom, screaming loudly about being mistreated. I didn't know if someone was in her room with her or not. If Clara was still in there, I wanted to hurry into my room and avoid seeing her. I went into my bedroom and closed my door. I was in my room for less than a minute, when Kate threw my door open and walked right in like she had every right to. "Guess what she did now?" "Who, and what?" "Mom, and while Clara was here visiting." "I don't know. Spanked you?" "She wouldn't let us be alone, not even for five minutes. Not even in my room. It was embarrassing. She has no right to treat me like this." "What did you think?" Did you think it was going to be like before? After all of the trouble, you couldn't have thought that. Did you ask mom what the rules were going to be before Clara came over?" "It wasn't like we hadn't done things like this before. If she was going to make new rules, she should have told me first. We had to sit in the living room. One hug and that was it. She sat there the whole time, listening to us talk. It ruined Clara's visit. I don't think she'll want to come see me anymore." "Kate, why was dad so upset? He's in the living room, mad as all get out. He didn't even say hello to me when I came home." "He's mad because mom and I were yelling and fighting when he came home. He asked what we were fighting about and mama said for him to go sit down, and mind his own business. It was in Hungarian, but this time I could understand them. Daddy said about five cuss words in Hungarian, and when I laughed, that made both of them madder, and so they sent me to my room." "It isn't so bad, Kate. You shouldn't make a big deal about it. I bet mom is worried that dad is going to find out that she even let Clara come here. I don't think he'd like knowing that. He might tell her no more visits." "Why?" "Don't you know that dad thinks what you and Clara were allowed to do led to all the rest of it? I know he does. He's been against you and Clara hanging around together ever since he found out about you two, back when Clara took those pills." "Larry, I didn't even find out if she still loves me. One little hug, and that was it. She finally left, and went back home at four. It was so bad sitting there and not being able to really touch her or to talk with her." "At least you saw her. Couldn't you talk to her about regular things?" "We did, but it wasn't like we were used to. Before, we talked about everything. With mama there, we only talked about school, her dad's house and her new friends. She said she's thinking about moving back with her mom, but I don't know if she will, not after this afternoon." "Kate, that's crazy talk. Clara and you are so close, she would never not want to be your friend. Can you imagine not wanting to be friends with her?" "No." "See? You have nothing to worry about. If I were you though, I'd go in and tell mama how sorry you are about how you acted today. You can't just say whatever comes into your head anymore. You have your tantrums, and they get you sent away. You have to look at things from other people's perspectives. Mama is trying to keep the peace around here, to get everybody used to being together again. She had to work hard to get dad to agree to let you come back this early. He was thinking two or three years." "That's insane! Why did he think so long?" "Think about it Kate. He thought it would take that long before your reputation died down from that stunt you two pulled in the school boiler room. Did Clara tell you what she went through for the rest of the school year after you left? Nobody spoke to her, except for boys who teased her about being a slut. You escaped all of that. When you return to school, you're going to have to deal with all of that just like Clara did. I'm sure that was at least part of the reason that Clara went to live with her father. In order for her to get a new start." "Do you think it will be bad for me? I didn't think about that. Was it really bad for her?" "She said it was mostly that no one talked to her, and she never got invited to the parties or sleepovers anymore." "I didn't even ask her about it. That's another reason for her to think I'm terrible." "How happy were you to see her?" "I can't even describe it." "I'm sure she felt the same way about seeing you. Go tell mom that you're sorry and ask her what you can do to help with supper. After supper, you can call Clara and talk to her on the phone. You'll probably have more privacy on the phone than in person for awhile." Kate got up and left my room. I went back to worrying about my own problems. I was proud that I hadn't asked Kate about how Clara looked, or whether she had asked about me or not. I closed my eyes to test myself, seeing if I even remembered what Clara had looked like the last time I saw her. I shouldn't have done that. I remembered. I remembered her clearly, in every stunning detail. It brought me a sharp sense of loss, and caused me to feel bad again. I should have known better, but all of the conversation with Kate had brought her back to the forefront of my thoughts. I wished there was some way that I could purge her from my brain, expunge all of my memories of her. I felt a tear falling down across my cheek. That was when I realized that I'd been crying. How long was it going to take? I had moved on with my life, I sure didn't need these thoughts on top of my other worry. My mother would be able to tell right away that something was wrong. My mother called me to supper right then. I went into the bathroom to wash my face and hands. We were all sitting at the dinner table. It had been a pretty quiet meal for the first ten minutes. All of us were enjoying the pot roast my mother had cooked. I was reaching for a second helping of everything when my mother spoke to me. "How was your day, Laurant? What did you find to do?" For some reason, her question caught me off guard. I had taken solace in the quiet we were having. "It was okay, I guess. I went over to Bill's, but he was with his girlfriend. I talked to Mrs. Terry, she said to tell you hello. After, I went for a walk, and stopped off at the studio. I helped Agnes with turning the mats, and wiped one of them down where someone had dropped some chocolate and it got squished onto the mat. Agnes made me some hot tea, and then I walked home. I didn't really do any Christmas shopping because it was so crowded today." "Agnes is still giving lessons. I told her to take a break and rest for the Holidays, but she never listens. How did she seem?" "What do you mean? She seemed the same, like she always does." My mother rattled off some quick Hungarian words to my father, forgetting again that Kate could now understand. When Kate let out a sharp gasp, my mother paused in mid sentence. then she said something else in Hungarian, and Kate laughed and said something back to her. My father laughed at whatever it was she said. "Now, it is only Laurant that doesn't understand when we talk this way. What I said was that Agnes has been upset because she has quit seeing her close friend." "You said girlfriend." Kate spoke up, proud of having understood what my mother had said. Kate still didn't understand when it was better not to know too much, or let on that you understood what was being talked about. I could see that both my parents were angry now. My mom was mad at Kate, and my dad was mad at Agnes for having a girlfriend, and at my mother for speaking of it so that Kate could hear, and understand what was being said. "Katinka, you are excused from the table. Please go to your room, immediately." My father was angry. He almost never called either of us by our Hungarian names. Kate almost said something to him too, until she noticed him standing up and reaching for his belt. She jumped up and ran to her room, taking care to shut her door quietly. "Larry, what your mother and sister have said is not to be discussed outside this house. Not with anyone, and this includes Agnes as well. Do you understand?" "Yes, papa, I understand. Who would I say anything to about that?" "That's true. A person should know better than to discuss personal, private information like that carelessly. Believe it or not though, people who should know better, do it regularly." My father glared once more at my mother, and went to the stairs and down to his refuge in the basement. My mother really did look contrite. She knew she had made a mistake. She seemed like she was undecided over who to go to first, my father or Kate. She got up and went to Kate. For the next forty five minutes, I was left to clear off the dinner table, put all of the leftovers away, and to do all of the dishes. I was just finishing up drying the last pot from supper, and putting it away, when my father came up from the basement again. He looked into the kitchen, and then not seeing my mother, he went to the front door and got in his car and drove off. My mother came out of Kate's room a half hour later and went down to the basement, looking for my dad, I am sure. She came up a minute later, looking worried. "Laurant, did your father go somewhere?" "Yes, he left half an hour ago. It was as soon as I finished doing all of my work, and all of Kate's too." "It shouldn't kill you to help out your sister, Laurant. She needs some cheering up.Why don't you go in and talk to her for awhile. See if she wants to go out and get a sundae or something. She needs to have as close to a normal situation as we can make it right now." "Can I get one too? I'll need some money." "Larry, I want you to stop off at Clara's house, to see if she will join the two of you. If she does, I want you to stay within sight of them the entire time." "I don't think that's a good idea. It's like you're trying to encourage them. Plus, you know Clara and I had a fight before. You're putting me right in the middle, and I already have a big problem with this. Suppose they decide to go to the bathroom together at Frank's?" "Laurant, sometimes we make sacrifices for the people we love, when they need us. You should do this for Katinka. If you won't do it for her, then do it for me. I couldn't take another big fight with your papa, not so soon after we got Katinka back. He needs to see Clara as your friend as well as Katinka's. I'm asking you to please do this." How can you say no to your mother? Especially when she has done so many things for you. I wanted to tell her about my own fears, and my strong feelings about Clara. I wanted to start crying, but I couldn't. "What about them hiding in the bathroom together, where I can't go in to get them? What could I do then?" "I will tell Katinka not to go anywhere with Clara that you cannot go as well. I know you still have feelings for Clara, that this is a hard thing for you to do. I wouldn't ask you if I didn't believe it would be good for Katinka." I nodded to her. I was defeated by her request. She had known that I would be. It was easy saying no to Kate, but my mom, that was a whole different thing. I just hoped my dad wasn't gone so long that my mom wouldn't get the chance to make up with him before Kate and I got back. My mother sent me for her purse and gave me a five dollar bill. She told me that I should treat Clara too. "Suppose Clara doesn't want to go, or what if Mrs. Townsend won't let her go?" "It has all been arranged already." "How did you know I'd do it for you?" "A mother always knows, Laurant, always. You are a good boy, so, of course you wouldn't disappoint your mama." Just then, Kate came out of her bedroom. She was already dressed for going out. She had that same look on her face as she'd had earlier when my mom had told me that Clara was going to be coming over to visit Kate. I hated that look. I hated the fact that Kate was once again going to get her own way because my mother was afraid that not giving in to her would cause larger problems later on. I knew that the worse thing in the world was to keep trying to appease Kate. The more you did that, the more she'd demand later. I think my mother knew that too, she was just trying to buy herself some time so that she could deal with everything in an orderly way. We left the house five minutes later. Kate tried to get me to walk faster, but I was in no hurry to see Clara again. I was in no hurry to see Kate and Clara together again either. When we got to Clara's house, Kate ran up to the front door and rang the door bell. The door was opened in only a few seconds, and there stood Clara. I had stayed on the sidewalk in front of the house when Kate ran up to the door, so Clara had to look around in order to see where I was. This gave me the time I needed to get my breath back, and to allow my heart rate to come back under control. Why did she have to look so much better than I wanted her to look? She'd gained a little weight, and on her, it looked fantastic. Her hips had widened, and her boobs had grown again too. She hadn't cut her hair either. I had to bite down on my lower lip to keep from smiling at her like I was some kind of love struck fool. I just knew I was going to blurt something out. Something that would embarrass me forever, and let her know how much I still cared about her. She and Kate started walking towards me, both of them with big smiles lighting up their faces. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to manage doing this. "Hi Larry. I was afraid that you were going to keep on avoiding me." Clara tilted her head to the side, and looked right into my eyes. She knew exactly how good she looked, and she seemed sure that I was going to fall all over myself being nice to her. I needed to say something to her, something to put her in her place, to let her know I was only there because my mother had made me take them. "God, you're beautiful!" Not an auspicious beginning, not for the image I was trying to project to her. "Thank you. I was hoping you'd think so. Have you missed me?" Kate was standing there, none too happy about being forgotten, even for the moment, by Clara. When Kate tried to grab Clara's arm and move her forward, towards Frank's, Clara shrugged her arm free and kept standing in front of me. Instead of answering her, I turned towards Frank's myself, and started walking in that direction. Clara hurried after me. "Aren't you even going to answer me, Larry? I asked you if you'd missed me." "No, not really. We both made our decisions before, so there wasn't anything for me to miss." "What decision am I supposed to have made? I didn't make a decision. You left me. I waited for you to get over being mad at me, but you never did. I didn't even mean what I said to you. I was just mad. You could have called me and let me explain it to you." "It wasn't just that. It was all the other stuff too. When Kate came back, I found out why you let all those boys screw you. You could have told me about the money, but you didn't." "I never asked them for any money, Kate did. She was the one who took the money, not me. Tell him Kate. You let him think that I took their money?" "I never said that, Clara. I told him about the money, and that I was planning on sharing it with you. I never said that you asked for it, or took it. I told him it was all my idea." "See, it wasn't me, Larry. That's why I didn't tell you." "Oh, I guess that makes it all right now? Kate screwed them for the money, but you only did it because it seemed like fun?" Clara turned around, and ran straight back to her house. Kate took off after her, following close behind. They both ran inside Clara's house, while I stayed out in front, waiting for Kate to come back outside. After fifteen minutes, I caught someone peeking at me through the curtains of the front facing window. I waited out there for another thirty minutes, until I started getting really cold. It might not have been too cold if I was moving around, but just standing there, in one place, it got too cold for me to take it. I went up to the door and rang the bell. Clara's mother answered. "Tell Kate we need to get home. I've waited for her long enough." "You may come in Larry, there's no reason for you to stand out in the cold." "I don't want to come in. Please tell Kate that it's time to leave." She closed the door, and I went back over to the sidewalk. It was at least ten more minutes before Kate came back out. When we walked back home together, Kate had that same smirk on her face. She must have figured that she had found a good way to explain her not obeying my mother's warning about not going anywhere out of my sight with Clara. When we got home, my father's car was still missing, and that wasn't a good sign. Kate went inside before me, and started complaining to my mother about my behavior right away. I guess that was her strategy, telling my mom that I upset Clara, forcing her to have to go comfort her. I stood there and listened while Kate gave her account of what had happened, talking about how upset Clara had been because of my harsh words. When she got done, my mother looked at me, waiting to hear my version. "I did what she said, but I don't think Kate mentioned that she and Clara were in Clara's bedroom the whole time, kissing each other and who knows what else." Kate looked so panicky, and so guilty, as soon as I said that. I thought she was going to try running again. I had taken a chance on saying that because Kate and Clara were not in the living room when I went to knock on the door. I assumed that Clara's mom had allowed them to go to Clara's room, and I knew what they'd do if they felt like they had the opportunity. "Your brother is telling the truth? Don't you dare lie to me Katinka!" Kate struggled to decide what to say. Finally, her shoulders slumped, and she nodded to my mother. "You dared to disobey me in this way? I try to make things better for you, and this is how you repay me? Go to your room, and pack your things, Katinka. I will let your papa decide what to do with you when he returns. I am done with risking everything to help someone who refuses to keep her promises." "You know what he'll decide! You can't let him send me back. I didn't mean to disobey you. It was Larry's fault." Kate was now completely panicked. She had lasted at home less than two weeks before my mother gave up on her again. Of course, I was pretty sure my mother was only trying to make her point. I waited until Kate looked at me, and then I gave her back the smirk she had been giving me all day. Like I said, I was pretty sure my mother was just trying to scare her. Kate went into her bedroom, and my mother had just started in yelling at me for being a troublemaker, when my father walked back into the house. "Are you still talking Elza? Hasn't your mouth produced enough trouble for one day?" That was the first time I'd ever heard my father speak to my mother like that, at least in any language that I understood. My mother took his words like a slap in the face. I knew it was worse for her, just because I was standing there, and had heard and understood every word he had spoken. Like almost everyone else in our family, it seemed, my mother answered an attack with one of her own. Hers was a rapid barrage, in Hungarian, and from the look on my father's face, I'd guess she hadn't ever spoken to him like that before either. She wasn't done with him yet either. I heard a lot of Katinka's, Laurant's, and Clara's, and then the look on my father's face changed from shock, to anger, to rage, and finally, to resignation. "Larry, this is true, Kate disobeyed your mama's orders and went alone into Clara's bedroom with her? I nodded to him that it was. "For a long time?" Again I nodded. He spoke a long string of what I can only assume were Hungarian curses. The must have been pretty rank ones, because my mother winced as each word flew off of his tongue. When he wound down again, his chin was spotted with tiny flecks of spittle. He had been drinking, and I didn't want him making important decisions when he was half in the tank already. "Papa, let's all go to bed now. We can decide on what to do in the morning, when we are all calmer." My mother started speaking to him again, trying to calm him down as well. Amazingly, whatever my mother said to him worked, and she led him off to their bedroom. She even closed their door when they were in there. I went in and turned on my bedroom light, then I went out and locked the front door, turning off the lights in the living room and kitchen. On my way to my room, I went and knocked on Kate's door. After a few seconds, I opened it and walked in. Kate had one of the big suitcases filled with her clothes, and was opening up the other bag. She seemed relieved that it was only me, and not my father or mother. "Well Kate, are you still enjoying these things? Why is it that you never seem able to say no to yourself? Are you like a baby that only wants what it wants, and wants it right now?" "You're the one who caused all this, Larry, not me. I was just going to go out for some ice cream, but you had to ruin it for Clara and me." "Have fun on the trip back to Hungary, Kate. I'll see you in two or three years. That should be long enough for you to figure out that it wasn't me that decided it would be all right for you to go in Clara's room and disobey all those promises that you made mom. I told mom that I didn't want to see Clara today, because I was afraid I'd say something like I did to her. You pushed for this until you got your way, and now you can't deal with the consequences when things go wrong. What I said to Clara is what I felt. I'm sorry that it turned out like it did. The truth is, regardless of who's fault tonight was, you didn't learn anything from all that time you spent in Hungary. You make the exact same kind of mistakes as you did before they sent you away. I hope her pussy tasted so good that you'll be able to remember it for the next three years." "She didn't do that with me, we only kissed and felt each other on top. She was too upset about what you said to her. Is papa really going to take me back to Hungary, Larry? If he does, I won't be able to stand it." "I don't think so. Mama took him in the bedroom and shut the door. I think she's negotiating a reduced sentence for you. You're going to go to that well once too often though, if you aren't careful. You really need to learn how to tell yourself no, and mean it. You don't ever accept the word no when it's told to you." "Tell mama that I learned my lesson this time, Larry. I really can't go back there. I don't know how any of them stand it. Especially those that plan on staying there forever. If you get her to let me stay, I promise I'll learn how to say no to myself." "Kate, I'm not going to interfere. It's their decision. You gave them that power by what you did. If you had refused to go in that bedroom, they wouldn't have any decision to make now. Like I said though, mom is negotiating a reduced sentence for you. Whatever they decide, if it isn't sending you back, you should make a real effort to make them believe they made a good decision." I went to my room and went to bed. I resisted the impulse to beat off while thinking of Clara. Instead, I thought about Mrs. Townsend, imagining what it would be like doing her from behind. Her butt was as big as Karen's, and I was sure that she would look just as good from behind. Somehow, right before I came, I switched over to Clara's image in my mind. Afterwards, I needed to get up and rinse out my undershirt, which had been on the floor by my bed. I had to use it to catch everything that erupted out of my dick. I went to sleep, dreaming sometime during the night that I was alone in a desert somewhere. Wherever I looked, there was water, but when I walked towards where it was, it just disappeared before I could get there. When I woke up, I was thirsty, and my face was wet. I looked at my pillow, and it was soaked. I didn't know if I'd been crying or sweating. I heard my mom and dad talking together. It didn't sound like they were fighting anymore. I stayed in bed, wondering what to do about my wet pillow. Finally, I got up and stripped off the pillowcase, and put it with my undershirt. I put my pillow over in front of my window on my desk chair. I hoped the sun would dry it before the night came again. ------- Chapter 48 In spite of everything, we still managed to have a pretty good Christmas. Whatever my mother and father had agreed on seemed to satisfy both of them. Kate's punishment was that she could have no contact with Clara for one month. I think Kate was so relieved at not being sent back to Hungary, she forgot to protest about how unfair my parents were being to her. Christmas day, Agnes came over, and we all opened presents, had a big goose dinner, and then sat around in the living room, staring bleary eyed at the television screen. There wasn't much conversation, but what there was of it consisted of the adults talking amongst themselves, and Kate and I talking together. At around five o'clock, Agnes decided she wanted to leave. My parents offered to give her a ride, but she said she'd rather walk, in order to work off some of the big dinner she had eaten. When my mother asked me to walk with Agnes, to make sure she got home all right, I went and got my coat out of the front closet. Agnes protested that it wasn't necessary, but she didn't protest too much. It was cold and windy out, and Agnes reached out and took my arm in both of hers. We walked together, with me sheltering her somewhat from the wind. "Thank you for walking me home, Larry. Is everything okay with you at home?" "That's okay. Sure, no problems with me. Mama's more worried about Kate right now." "I've thought about what happened to us the other day, and I'm determined that it won't ever happen again. For me, it was a moment of weakness, one that should never be repeated." "You didn't enjoy it? Was I too rough with you?" "It isn't that. You are too young, and you are my sister's son. What we did wasn't something that I should have exposed you to." "I don't want to quit it. I liked what we did. I've been thinking about you being bad again, and what I'm going to do to punish you when you are." "No, Larry, please, no. I feel too guilty about what I already did with you. Any more, and I couldn't face your mama and papa again. Even today, it was trying for me. I kept waiting for one of them to bring it up, or to tell me that they had notified the police. That isn't how I choose to live my life. Can we not just agree to end it now? More would just make it more difficult for all of us." "Whatever you want, Agnes. I don't want to make you feel bad or to have you worry about it. I'm sorry about your friend too. There will be other friends. Please try to be happy again." "Thank you. You are more to me than my nephew. You are my confidante, someone I can confide in. What you told me the other day about Trudie, her interest in another girl, this was true? You know this for a fact?" "She told me that she likes the way this other girl licks her. I've seen her do that with the other girl. They both seemed to enjoy it. You aren't going to get her in trouble, not because of what I told you, are you?" "No, that isn't why I asked you. You know that I am different than most women, Larry? That I enjoy a different lifestyle than most?" I looked at her and nodded my head yes. "Except for two men, one when I was very young, and the other, the one that got me sent away from my home by your grandfather, I haven't experienced sex with males. I've confined myself to other females. You understand what I'm saying?" "You like girls better than boys. Right?" "I don't know. I've had far more experience with women. I've never had the chance to have a real relationship with a man. The reason I brought up Trudie is because she has made certain overtures to me, overtures I have no interest in pursuing with her. If it is a genuine interest on her part, I need to explain that it isn't something that interests me. I had hoped that these signals she was sending were unconscious on her part. From what you've told me, I must now believe they were deliberate overtures." We had walked all the way to her apartment. At the bottom of the stairs, Agnes leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek and hugged me to her, wishing me again a Merry Christmas, and thanking me for escorting her home. I stood at the bottom of the stairs, and waited until she was safely inside her apartment. I left after I saw she was inside and had turned on her lights. On the walk home, I thought about what she had said to me. I knew, if I pressed her, that Agnes would let me do more things with her. She was sad and lonely, and I would be taking advantage of her at a time when she was very upset and vulnerable. I made a decision that I would go out of my way to make sure that no more situations occurred that would make it likely that another opportunity would arise. I would only be interested if I thought it was something she wanted me to do with her. After the New Year, Kate started back at the junior high. I walked her to school every morning, and she walked over to the dance studio as soon as school let out. Clara had decided to go back and live with her father some more. My mother told me that Mrs. Townsend blamed me for Clara's decision. My mother worried because Mrs. Townsend was drinking more, and had called over to our house several times, while drunk, to speak with my mother about how bad everything seemed to her. Kate did have a difficult time the first month after she returned to school, but then she was befriended by two sisters, Lisa and Rita Ross. Lisa was an eighth grader like Kate, and Rita was a year younger, and in seventh grade. The Ross's had moved to our town from Washington state, and, either didn't know, or didn't care, about the rumors surrounding Kate. Rita was on the short side, and was plump, while Lisa was taller, but thin and gangly looking. The first time I saw Lisa, she reminded me of Clara when Clara was about eleven years old. Lisa was fourteen, and Rita was almost thirteen years old. My mother started letting Kate go to the Ross's house twice a week, after school, but only for the hour until I got out of school and came home. The Ross's could come over to visit, but they couldn't be in Kate's room unless I was there, and the door always had to be open. I liked both of the Ross girls, especially Lisa. The three girls usually sat on the floor in the living room, talking and doing their homework while they watched American Bandstand on the television. I liked to listen to them as they talked about some of the regular kids on the program. There was this one boy, Norman was his name, and all three of the girls thought he was so cute. There were a couple of girls I liked to look at too, but they were a long ways away, in Philadelphia, too far to build up a real head of steam over. We all liked to look at the new dance steps that the kids were doing on television. I learned quite a bit by watching them. After a couple of weeks, the girls got me to try out some of the new dance steps with them. Kate was a lot better dancer than either Lisa or Rita, and she could pick up the new steps after only seeing them once or twice on the screen. I was the same way. Every time I danced with Rita, she would get all embarrassed and start this really high, nervous, giggle. Kate and Lisa used to always tease her about it. Usually, I'd show Rita, and Kate would teach Lisa. After Bandstand was over, we'd all go back to studying until my mom got home. I always kept Kate in sight, and she didn't try to pull any tricks on me. When March came, I went and asked Jane for a date on the Friday night after her birthday. She said she'd like that and went to ask her mother if she could accept. Her mom came out into the living room and asked me if she and I still had that same understanding as when we had talked before. I told her that we did. She gave Jane permission, and then went back into the kitchen. Jane came over and sat next to me on the sofa. She had a lot of questions about what her mother had meant, and I told her that I had promised her mother not to screw her unless she got her mom's permission first. "You didn't really talk about that? Why did you say anything to her about us doing that? I'm surprised she said I can go out with her if you told her you were going to ask me to do it with you." "You should be happy. It means that you don't have to feel any pressure to do it with me." "I'd never ask her for that. I wouldn't want her to know if we did do it." "Then we won't ever do it. I told her that we might do other things, but never that, unless she says it's okay." "Did you tell her what other things?" "I told her anything else but that." "She said it was okay?" "No, she said she wanted me to keep my end of the bargain about not doing it with you. She said she'd never give you permission to do it with me." "Suppose I really wanted to, Larry? Now, we couldn't." "Not without her permission. We're a long way from needing her permission anyway." I reached over and took her hand and put it on my boner. I pulled her closer to me, and then kissed her. She took her hand off my dick when I started kissing her, but put it right back when I started playing with her boob. We made out for about fifteen minutes before I had to go home. Kate was at the dance studio, but I still needed to be home before five o'clock. Friday, right after school, I got cleaned up and went over to Bill's house. I had gotten Jane a nice gold colored locket for her birthday. It was heart shaped, and my mother had cut up a small picture of my face, from one of the pictures we kept around the house, and placed it inside the locket. It felt funny giving a girl a present with a picture of me in it, but my mother said it would make it better for Jane. She told me that Jane could pull it out and throw it away if she wanted to. When I got to Bill's, I handed Jane her present, and after she opened it, I told her what my mother had said about her throwing the picture away. She didn't act like that was what she wanted to do. Bill was there, and he tried to give me some static about dating Jane, but his mom told him that he better shut up and worry about his own business. Bill could recognize that his mother wasn't kidding him when she said it. We left at five o'clock to head to the Chop Suey place. We sat there for an hour and a half, eating, talking and laughing about our families, school, and all the people that we both knew. At six thirty, Jane said she wanted to leave so that we'd get good seats in the balcony. It was her day, so we left, and got to the theater in about five minutes. I bought the tickets, and we went and had our pick of seats up in the balcony. I picked two seats most of the way in the back, but over next to the wall on the left as you were looking up from the stairs when you came in. I didn't see any of the movie. I couldn't even tell you what was playing. I can tell you that Jane had very wet panties under her dress when my hand got up there, and that her pussy had already been opened by something or someone before I ever touched it. She loved being finger fucked. I had to keep kissing her just to try to keep her quiet during the movie. I had my coat in my lap, and she had hers in her lap. Both of us kept our hands busy. Jane kept playing with my dick, after I took it out for her, until she finally made me cum all over the back of my coat. I know that Jane came at least three times before she had enough, and asked me to quit. I had already put my dick back in my pants. When the movie was over, I had to use the bathroom to clean off my coat. I wet three paper towels, and went into one of the three toilet stalls to wipe my coat. I got most of it off, but there was a big water stain and it was still a little off colored where the cum had sat for an hour or more. I'd never kissed anyone for as long as I'd kissed Jane. I had enjoyed it, but it hadn't been as exciting as I had hoped it would be. I didn't want to disappoint Jane, but she and I didn't have the same spark that I felt with Clara, or even Karen. It was more like what I felt with Denise and Trudie. I didn't know how to bring it up with her, but I didn't want to just quit going out with her, suddenly, without any explanation. Whatever I was feeling, Jane didn't seem to share my doubts about our date, and what we had done together. She was already asking me about what we'd do on our next date. I told her that I'd come up with something to do, and then call her so that we could discuss it. When we got to her house, we kissed for a short time and then she went inside. I really liked Jane, just not so much as a girlfriend. She was very passionate, and she would have let me do anything I wanted to with her. I didn't want to take advantage of her just because she liked me better than I liked her. I didn't have the slightest idea about how or what I should say to her. Bill saved me from having to make any decision. He called me up on Saturday morning, asking me to meet him at the park. When I showed up, around nine thirty, expecting to play football, Bill walked up to me, and sucker punched me. I had half ducked when I saw he was throwing a punch at my head, and his fist hit me right on the top of my head. It was a real hard punch, and after the fight, I learned that he broke two knuckles on his hand when he hit me. I didn't know how hurt his hand was, and I hit him a few times before he yelled at me to stop because his hand was hurt bad. "You wouldn't stop when I asked you to, Bill. Why should I?" "I think my hand is broken. He showed me his hand, but I couldn't see anything. I was mad that he would just trick me to come to the park so he could beat me up again, so I hit him a really good one, right in the side of his face. I think he was surprised that I wasn't willing to stop fighting. He tried to make a fist with his right hand, but it hurt him too much. He tried to wrestle with me, but I hit him again as he was rushing me, and this punch knocked him down. "I'm going to keep hitting you until you give up Bill. I'm tired of you hitting me whenever you feel like it. What are you mad about now?" Bill looked up at me. I guess he really hurt his broken hand when he fell, and tried to break his fall with it. He looked like he was in a lot of pain. "I give up Larry, but I'm going to really kick your ass as soon as my hand gets better." As he started to stand back up, I waited until he was straightened up, then hit him three or four more times in the face. The last time, he had his hurt hand up trying to protect it, and I hit it too when it got between my fist and his face. That's when he started running away. "I'm going to keep kicking your ass until you tell me why you did this, Bill. You can run, but I'm going to get you in school when I see you there." He stopped running and turned back to face me. I don't think he ever believed that I was capable, or would be willing, to treat him the same way he had treated me. I don't think I would have been if it hadn't been for the two previous ass kickings he had handed out to me. Neither of those times were my fault. I figured this was because of Jane, but I wasn't going to just stand there and let him continue using me as a punching bag. "You took Jane up to the balcony and diddled her. Eileen saw you there, and watched you doing it." "So what? If we did, that's our concern, not yours. Why don't you come back here, and let's finish this once and for all? I'm ready to keep kicking your ass until you understand that I'm through taking this kind of crap from you. You always act like my friend and then you wind up beating me up." "If my hand wasn't hurt, I would fight you more." "I don't think you have the balls for a real fight, Bill. Only if you are winning without getting hit much. I'm going to keep doing this every time I see you until this gets settled between us." "I told you I quit, Larry. I need to get a doctor for my hand. Please. Let's just call it quits for now." "I'm not calling it quits until it's over. It isn't over until you learn that I'll kick your ass until you either die, or are ready to stop fighting me every time you get mad at me." "I quit. It's over. You win. Are you satisfied?" Bill was crying. I could see that his hand was getting red and the knuckles were swollen. "Okay, it's over. If you ever start up with me again, I won't quit next time. You want me to help you get home?" "No. You stay away from Jane. Will you agree to that much?" "If it's that important to you, I will. All you had to do was come to me and ask me. I didn't know it meant so much to you." "I already asked you a thousand times." "I took her out for her birthday. I really like her. I don't want to cause problems with your family though. You tell Jane that I like her, but I don't want to have to keep kicking your ass every time she and I go out." "I don't think we can be friends anymore, Larry. You don't fight fair, and you don't act like a real friend. I don't want anymore trouble with you, so stay away from Jane and me." "You tell Jane what I said. I'm going to be calling her later to explain, and you better have told her that you asked me to stay away from her. If not, all bets are off and I'll be kicking your ass again. I don't want her thinking that I stopped liking her. I want her to know it's because you were being such a dick about things." Bill left then. I knew he'd tell Jane. Later that night I called her. Mrs. Terry answered the phone. When I asked to speak to Jane, she started talking to me. "I hear that you and Bill really got into it over at the park. Are you all right, Larry?" "He hit me once, and hurt his hand on my head. I don't think he'll ever try to hit me again. He invited me to the park to play football, then he sucker punched me." "He told Sissy that you weren't going to go out with her anymore, that you agreed not to ask her anymore? He started talking bad to her, and I slapped his mouth for him. He should know better than to speak to her like that. I feel bad that I didn't hold up my end of our little bargain." "I held up mine. I really like Jane, but I know you're right about us being too young. Can I talk to her now?" She put Jane on the phone, and we talked for half an hour. I explained about Bill, and told her that I was afraid I wouldn't keep my promise to her mom if we kept going out. I told her that Bill would never quit interfering, and that all of that made me too nervous to enjoy things. She surprised me by telling me that she understood, and that she was okay with it. "I'm glad that we got to go out Larry. I wanted to go up in the balcony with you, and do the things we did. I don't care what Bill says about it. Now, I know what it's like. I didn't think you'd want to keep on taking me out anyway. If you ever change your mind though, you can call me. If I'm not going out with anyone else, I'll go out with you. I'm not mad at you for what you did to Bill. I'll bet he deserved it." "I liked it too, Jane. I'm glad we got the chance to go out again. Tell Bill I'm sorry about his knuckles. He shouldn't have hit me in the head. I promised him that I wouldn't take you out if he would quit making me fight him. Three times is enough." We hung up, and I think we were both a little relieved that neither expected anything more of the other. I had learned another valuable lesson about the difference between love and lust. Jane and I had the lust, but we would never have lit the spark hot enough to produce love. I wished that we could have. Anyone else except Clara. I wished that I could find someone that I felt the same way about as I used to feel about Clara. I wanted someone who would make my heart do flip flops every time I saw her. I knew that, until I met someone else that did that to me, I'd always think about, and have deep feelings for, Clara. ------- Chapter 49 Nothing much happened for the rest of the school year. I saw Bill in school, but we didn't speak. Kate stayed on her good behavior, pleasing both of my parents. Kate had never wanted to study ballet, preferring modern dance, jitterbug, or ballroom dancing, but when Agnes asked her to come to her advanced ballet classes just to work on her grace and smooth out her dance movements, Kate agreed to do it. She started taking two back to back advanced ballet classes each week from Agnes. Instead of regular component exercises like the other girls worked on, Agnes would have Kate show her whatever dance moves she liked doing, and then she would have her work on improving 'presentation aspects' of each part of the dance. I watched them a few times, and it seemed that Agnes kept changing Kate's posture, and the way she held her head and arms while she moved. When school let out, I got a job for the summer with a neighbor, Mr. Hennessey, helping him deliver produce to markets and restaurants in the area. We had to start work at four o'clock in the morning, because that was when the train brought in the produce from Cleveland. Mr. Hennessey was about sixty years old, and his back had been giving him a bad time, so that's why he needed someone to help him for awhile. I did the loading of his truck every morning, and then carried the cartons into the stores or restaurants that we delivered to. Mr. Hennessey collected the money, and took the order for the next delivery while I went to the truck and made the actual delivery. We were usually all done by one o'clock. I earned forty dollars a week, but my paycheck was only for thirty two dollars and eleven cents because of taxes, social security and other small things they took out of it. We drove all over the place, even as far away as Lawn Glen, which was almost forty miles from where I lived. We worked five days a week, but took off on Wednesdays and Sundays. Fridays and Mondays were our busiest delivery days. Clara lived in Lawn Glen with her father. We went there on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays, but I never saw her during any of my visits. I didn't try to find out her address, but whenever we were in the truck or making deliveries in the three restaurants and four markets in that town, I kept my eyes peeled for her. I didn't want to talk to her, but I would have liked to have seen her again. When he first hired me, Mr. Hennessey told me that I might only need to help him carry stuff for a week or so, but, even when his back started getting better, he still preferred having me doing all of the lifting and carrying. He told me that his orders got bigger when he had more of a chance to talk to the restaurant owners, and the owners of the markets while I did the actual delivering. He told me at the end of June that I could keep working for him for the rest of the summer if I wanted to. I worked until the end of August, just before the time for my sixteenth birthday, and when I quit, he hired an older boy, Jimmy Clancy, who had dropped out of school, and needed a job. Jimmy didn't last too long, because he wouldn't get up in time to get to the train station to help load up all the cartons. By the middle of September, Mr. Hennessey was back working by himself. A few times, when his back really was hurting him, he'd call me the night before, and ask me to help him load his truck in the morning. I'd get up at three thirty, get dressed, and go down to the train station to load the produce onto his truck. I'd be finished before six o'clock, and then he'd drive me back home and give me three dollars in cash. I'd be too tired in school on those days, but I didn't say anything to my parents, because I knew that Mr. Hennessey really needed my help whenever he called me. This went on for another month, until Mr. Hennessey's brother sent him a man to help him out from Cleveland. The funny thing was, the new guy was a recent Hungarian immigrant named Tibor Lakatos. I met Tibor at Mr. Hennessey's house about three days after he arrived from Cleveland. I came over to wash Mr. Hennessey's windows, and Tibor was now living with the Hennessey's. He was tall for a Hungarian, maybe six feet tall, and he had a funny looking haircut. It looked like he'd put a bowl over his own head and cut all the hair that still stuck out. He looked about thirty five or forty years old. He looked strong though, built solid. Mr. Hennessey said that Tibor could do the work of two men. Because he was Hungarian, and because he didn't speak very much English, I felt sorry for him, and invited him over to my house the next Sunday afternoon, for a good home cooked meal and some Hungarian conversation with my parents. I had to ask him in English, but I used a few Hungarian words like paprikash, kolbas and hulka. He understood me well enough to smile and rub his stomach. I told him to come at two thirty, but then I changed my mind and told him I'd come and get him, because I wasn't sure about how long it would take my mother to make a nice Hungarian dinner for company. I went home when I got done with the windows, which Tibor insisted on helping me with. When my mother got home, half an hour later with Kate, I told her about Tibor, and how I'd invited him over for dinner on Sunday. My parents had brought home lots of Hungarian people over the years, most of them total strangers to all of us. I invite one Hungarian man without checking with them, and you'd think I'd invited Hitler to eat with us or something. I answered a ton of questions from my mom, and then my dad asked me even more. My answer to most of these questions was always the same. "I don't know, his name is Tibor and he's a Hungarian. He's been here about three months. He doesn't speak English yet." I told my mother that he was tall, and about thirty five or forty. I told my father that Mr. Hennessey said he was a good worker and very strong. My mother started worrying about what she should make for dinner, and my father asked her why she was so worried about pleasing a stranger. Better, he said, that she worried about pleasing him, since he was the one who paid for the food on his table. I was lost in the shuffle after that, which suited me just fine. I didn't find out until after church on Sunday that Agnes was invited to Sunday dinner with us too, and she was really dressed up, a lot more than she usually did, just for church. I went and got Tibor at two thirty. My mother and my aunt had been in the kitchen for the past two and a half hours, working on dinner. When I came to fetch Tibor, I found him wearing a black suit, one that didn't fit him very well. I figured it must have been Mr. Hennessey's at one time, because it was too short on him, and with his hair, the effect wasn't very promising. I didn't think he'd make much of an impression on Agnes, and that was apparently what my mother and father had in mind. I guess I was wrong about that too. Almost as soon as we walked in the door, Tibor was the hit of the whole dinner. There were five people all jawing in Hungarian, including Kate, but I was just left there, not understanding anything that was being said. It turned out that Tibor had been a Freedom Fighter, during the uprising, and had been imprisoned, sentenced to hard labor, until about six months before by the Soviets. He was smuggled out of Hungary right after he was released, and came to the U.S. under the sponsorship of a family in Cleveland, who were somehow related to Tibor, on his mother's side. He had been a school teacher in Hungary, before the revolution. Now, he was happy to find work with Mr. Hennessey, even working for forty bucks a week. He was thirty four, and apparently, the Soviets hadn't been too nice to him while they had him in custody. He was a big hit with all of the rest of my family. He would have been a bigger hit with me if we had spoken English about any of this. The only thing my parents found wrong with him, was that he was agnostic. That didn't seem to bother Agnes any, and as soon as dinner was done, she took Tibor into the kitchen and sat him on a chair in the dinette, and, using my father's hair scissors, she gave him a new haircut. While she was busy cutting his hair in the kitchen, my mother and father were speaking rapidly and cryptically, in Hungarian in the living room. Kate was frustrated, because they were talking so fast and so low, that she couldn't understand what they were talking about. Disgusted that she was unable to eavesdrop, she started telling me, in English, all of the things they had found out about Tibor. When Agnes led Tibor out of the kitchen, his new haircut made him a lot more presentable. Something still had to be done about the clothes he was wearing. My father was too short for any of his clothes to fit Tibor. No one apologized to me about giving me so much grief for inviting him over for dinner in the first place. Now, they were all falling all over themselves to make him feel welcome. I'd never understand how their minds worked. I did understand that my parents were hoping to set him up with Agnes. It surprised me that Agnes was seeming to go along with this so happily. Tibor certainly looked happy about this turn of events too. When he spoke in Hungarian, I guess he was funny, witty and charming, judging by the response he was evoking from the three females present. I had to admit, he was a lot better looking without that ridiculous haircut. Once, when they were all laughing about a story that Tibor had told, Agnes leaned over and touched Tibor's knee. I felt a little stab of jealousy when she did that. My parents noticed that touch too. I saw them look at each other and smile. After Tibor left, everyone switched back to speaking English again. That's when I found out that Tibor was divorced, with a seven year old daughter who lived in Hungary. He hadn't seen her since she was two years old. My father was talking about trying to see if he could get Tibor a job at his plant, and Agnes and my mother were going to ask at church about whether anyone had any clothing to donate for him to use. My parents started teasing Agnes about how nice it was that she was interested in helping the cause of Hungarian refugees now. It was good natured teasing though, and Agnes took it like that. She didn't deny that she was interested in Tibor, when Kate asked her about that. When Agnes decided to go home at around seven thirty, I volunteered to walk her home. We were just outside the door when Agnes put her arm through mine and we walked home that way. "You were so quiet today, Larry. Are you having a problem with something?" "Yes. I don't understand Hungarian. It's hard to say much when people are speaking in a foreign language to you." "Tibor was the guest, Larry. Of course, we would make him feel welcome and included. What do you think of him?" "He's all right, I guess. I could see that you really liked him." "As you say, he is all right. Part of what I did, was for your papa's benefit. Your mama thought this might be best. I agree with her that it wouldn't harm anything for me to take an interest in Tibor. As for my really liking him, we shall have to wait and see. He was not my first choice of men in the room tonight, but my first choice isn't available to me." "Papa?" She laughed and squeezed my arm tighter to her. "You, Larry! I can't even imagine your papa and me together." "You can imagine the two of us that way?" "I'm sorry to say, I can, and I have. I try not to have those thoughts, but it isn't easy. The mind has a will of its own. We must be strong, and it will eventually pass." "I'm not sure what you mean, Agnes." "I don't know sometimes myself. After that one time, I felt like it would be much better for everyone if we just stopped our flirtations. I felt so guilty. Time is passing now, and I have tried to be good. I have been good. The pressure builds up though. My needs get stronger, until I don't know where I can turn. I think of what we did more and more now. My mind plays tricks on me, telling me that it wouldn't hurt anything if I was to give in to my desires and be bad with you once again. I think of what limits I could set so that it wouldn't be too bad. I think of what you told me your punishment would be if I were to be bad with you again. It is only the punishment that I need. If it were just a man, or even a woman, it would be an easy thing for me to satisfy. That wouldn't satisfy my underlying craving." "You need another spanking?" "Am I being too terrible, Larry? I shouldn't involve you further in my sickening needs." "Do you remember what I said I'd do if I ever needed to spank you again?" "But, that would be taking this too far. The spanking first, and after, I can use my mouth on you. That is all that I could bear. Even that is too much. Please don't demand that I submit to the other." She was squeezing my arm as tightly as she could while she said this to me. I knew, no matter how much she denied it and protested against it, that Agnes was hoping that I'd make her submit to a good screwing from me. "You are being bad right now, Agnes. First by tempting me, and then trying to get me to give you less punishment than you deserve. I warned you before about what would happen, what punishment I would mete out to you. If I spank you, I'm going to screw you afterwards. Make no mistake about this." "Then let us speak no more about it. I will be good. I'm sorry for raising the subject with you in the first place. We are almost to my home, I can walk alone from here." "You've already been bad, Agnes. You know this. You can't be bad, and then try to escape being punished for it. I'm afraid you've already crossed over the line tonight. When we get up to your apartment, I want you to get undressed, and prepare yourself for your punishment." "What will your mama say at you being delayed in coming back home? We cannot take that risk." "I'll tell her you were asking me questions about Tibor. She won't care after that. She'll be too excited that her plan at matchmaking is working out. Don't try to wiggle out of it, Agnes. I'm going to blister your ass, and then I'm going to punish you with my dick. By the time I leave you, you'll know better than to ever be bad with me again." Agnes didn't reply, but she started walking with a brisker stride towards her apartment. She didn't release my arm, so I was forced to walk faster, just to keep pace. When we got to her stairs, she released my arm and ran up the steps. At first, I thought she was trying to escape me, but when she opened the door, she left it open, and walked into her bedroom before shutting that door. Her front door remained open, an invitation for me to come in. I came inside, and then shut and locked her door. There was a light on in her bedroom, but none on in the living room and kitchen area. I took off my jacket, and went over to her couch and sat down. Five minutes later, I heard Agnes softly calling me from the bedroom. "Larry, are you still here?" "I'm here. Are you ready to be punished?" "Isn't there anyway I can talk you out of doing that to me? I don't mind being spanked. You can hit me as hard as you think I deserve. I don't think we should do that other thing." I walked into Agnes's bedroom. She was naked, sitting on the bed. Her hand was buried between her legs, and her breasts both showed signs of having been violently abused already. I closed her door and silently began undressing. My dick was sticking straight out when I finished undressing. Agnes was staring at it while her fingers worked feverishly at her pussy. As soon as I sat down on the bed, Agnes threw herself across my lap, presenting her ass as a tempting target for my hand. Still, her hand was busy, pulling at her pussy lips and putting several fingers in and out of her gaping hole. She was very wet, and her scent was strong in that bedroom already. I began hitting her with my open palm, paying no attention as she writhed around on my lap and protested what I was doing. Her hand had grabbed my dick, and she was squeezing it and pulling it down towards her pussy. She even managed to move forward enough so that the head of my dick was pressing against her open slit. I kept on spanking her, even while she was cumming. After awhile, I lifted her off of my lap and put her back on the bed in a sitting position. "Now, I'm going to fuck you Agnes. I warned you, but you wouldn't listen. Lay down on the bed." She looked at me, but her head was moving backwards, until she was on her back, and then she lifted her legs up and swung them over my head, until she was lying flat, in the center of her bed. When I turned around, putting one knee up on the bed, Agnes threw her legs wide. Being a dancer, her legs were almost one hundred and eighty degrees opened. I'd never seen anyone in that position before, and it was exciting. I started crawling between her legs, before I remembered the rubber in my wallet. I got off the bed and went and grabbed my pants and pulled my wallet out and grabbed at the packet the rubber was kept in. Agnes watched closely as I put it on. She had stopped protesting, and seemed impatient for me to put it in her. I got back on the bed and moved between her legs. I took my dick in my hand and started spanking her pussy with it. I hit her pretty hard, but not hard enough to hurt my dick. She loved that. She was moaning and moving up every time I popped her with my dick. With my free hand, I started pulling and twisting on her nipples, just like I'd watched her doing. She liked that a lot too, and she opened her eyes and smiled up at me. That was all I needed, knowing that she wanted what I was going to do to her next. I grabbed my dick and moved it to her hole. I crammed in about three inches, and then I stopped. "You see that, Agnes. This is what is going to happen to you whenever you're bad." While I was talking to her, I was moving back an inch and then moving forward an inch. In and out, but being careful not to feed her pussy with any more of my dick. "I'm trying to decide whether or not I've punished you enough, Agnes. What do you think?" She was desperately moving her hips up, trying to force more of my cock up inside her pussy. Each time she tried that, I'd back away from her. When she relaxed, I'd go back to moving in and out one inch at a time. It went on like this for at least five minutes. She was straining underneath me, but not saying anything. I went back to playing with her nipples, and then I reached down and pinched her right on her pubic arch. Hard pinch, too, one that made her groan and try to arch back up at me. I smiled down at her, sure that I had achieved mastery over her, and satisfied with the teasing I was giving her pussy, by denying her my whole dick. This fantasy control of mine ended when she suddenly closed her legs around my ass, locking them together and started squeezing me down closer to her. I resisted her as well as I could, but to no avail. In seconds, my dick was buried in her right down to the root. She had the strongest legs I'd ever felt. She started doing something with her stomach muscles, something that made her pussy tighten down on my dick shaft. In a minute, although she wasn't moving on the outside, my dick was being manipulated, as if by someone with a strong hand. It was the weirdest feeling, right up until Agnes started losing control of her own body, and her legs started to relax. That is when I reached up behind me with both my arms, and grabbed her legs, pulling them forward, and lifting her ass up so that her pussy was tilting forward more. I started pounding into her then. She was already coming, but the harder I pounded into her, the louder she was groaning, and her head started shaking back and forth like she was trying to motion to me not to do that anymore. I didn't stop. I just kept after it until I stiffened myself, and then let go with my own orgasm. It was so strong it sent my stomach muscles into spasm. It lasted too long. It actually got pretty painful, and I was afraid that I was going to cramp up. I reached my head down and started kissing Agnes, plunging my tongue deeply into her mouth. She was just as desperate for my kiss as I was for hers. When I could, I rolled off of her, and lay flat on my back beside her. Both of us were gasping, like we'd just finished a race. That had been the most intense physical sexual experience I'd ever had. It had been exciting and intense, but it wasn't nearly as satisfying as when I had licked Clara into unconsciousness. I looked over at Agnes, waiting for her to open her eyes and look at me. She just lay there, refusing to open her eyes. I finally felt the rubber release my dick from the end of the slimy tip, so I reached down and carefully picked it up. I didn't want to spill any of it. I went into the bathroom and flushed it down the toilet, and rinsed myself off real good in the sink. I went back in then, getting myself dressed before going back to the bathroom and re combing my hair. When I came out again, Agnes still hadn't moved, and her eyes weren't opened. I knew she was awake, she just didn't want to have to look at me. "Agnes, stop trying to hide from me. It's okay. I had a good time, and so did you. No one was hurt by it. Now you can be good again, until the pressure builds up too high. Quit trying to make it seem like a bad thing. I love you. Only as my aunt though, so don't worry about me getting all foolish on you in that way." Her eyes had come open, and she was looking at me when I finished. She looked like she was getting ready to say something, and I had a feeling that whatever it was going to be, it would make me feel bad if she said it. "Don't say anything right now. Wait a week, and then you can tell me whatever you want to. This isn't a good time for you to be making decisions. I promise I won't ever bother you for anything else. Not unless you first show me that it is something that you either want or need to do. I'm not going to become a complicated problem for you. I've got to get back home. I'll see you soon, and remember I love you, and none of this changes anything about that." I came over and gave her a normal kiss on the cheek. The kind any nephew would give any aunt. It just happened that my aunt was laying on her bed, absolutely naked, having just been spanked and fucked by me. I closed the bedroom door behind me and let myself out of her apartment. When I got home, my parents had already gone to bed, and their bedroom door was tightly closed. Kate was in her room, listening to her records quietly. I went in and took a shower and got ready to go to bed. When I came out of the shower, Kate was already in bed, under the covers, but her light was still on. She had turned her record player off, and the whole house was quiet. I went in to ask her if she wanted me to turn off her light, when my mother started making noises. These were the kind of noises a woman makes when she is enjoying herself, while she's making love. Kate giggled, and I smiled over at her. This wasn't the first time we'd heard these noises. "I wonder what they're doing? Whatever it is, mama sure seems to like it." Kate sounded wistful, like she wished she was getting the same treatment. She probably did. "I think some of the things mama said about Tibor got papa jealous, and he's making sure she knows, and appreciates, what she already has at home." My mother was getting louder as she got closer to finishing. I could hear the springs on their bed making creaking noises. It was strangely exciting to be hearing them like this. I looked over, and Kate had one of her hands under the covers, and there was movement on her right side, also, over in the area where I thought her crotch was. She was rubbing her pussy. The whole time she did that, she looked over at me. I stood there and looked at her, but I didn't say anything. "I can't help doing this, Larry, but don't leave, okay?" "Do you want me to turn off the lights, Kate?" "No, I want you to see. It makes it better." My mother reached her orgasm, and all of the noise in her bedroom left no one in any doubt about that. Kate tried to get hers too, but it looked like she was having trouble. I looked out in the hallway, just to make sure that my parents were going to stay put. When I looked back, Kate had thrown off her covers and had pushed her panties down below her knees. she had one finger near her clit and was rubbing at it furiously. Finally, after another five minutes, she got her orgasm too. I waited a few seconds before I turned her light off, and told her good night. "Good night, Larry. Thank you for staying." "You're welcome, Kate. Sweet dreams." ------- Chapter 50 Agnes went out to dinner once with Tibor, and then the two of them also went out once with my parents, to a European restaurant in Canton. There was live music being played, and dancing. I heard later that Tibor drank too much, and became loud and quarrelsome. He even got verbally abusive towards my father and Agnes when everyone else tried to get him to slow down on his drinking. That effectively brought to an end whatever courtship plans my parents had for him and Agnes. I was glad when I heard that Agnes wasn't going to be going out with Tibor anymore. Now that Kate was in high school with me, I was certain that my parents were going to want me to get my driver's license so that I could drive us to and from school. I sure hinted around about it enough. My sixteenth birthday had come and gone, and there it was, almost Christmas, and no one was even talking about me getting my license. Most of my friends already had their licenses, and it was common for them to be able to borrow the family car for a weekend date. I had attempted to get back into dating, but had limited success. I was asking out nice girls, but, partly due to my old reputation, many girls were leery about going out with me. One girl would only agree to go out with me if she picked me up at my house and then drove us over to the next town to go to a restaurant and a movie. No drive in movie either, we went to the regular movie house over in Overton. It was a show that I had seen before, and I was a little upset to be going out with someone who was obviously ashamed to be seen out in our town with me. My next date was with a girl who attended St. Catherine's high school. We at least went to my regular movie theater, but she wouldn't even let me put my arm around her. I had gone from a feast to a famine, and had only myself to blame. Part of the reason that my social life suffered was that I had developed a complexion problem. No matter what I did, it seemed that every school day I'd wake up with yet another pimple erupted on my face or neck. I was washing my face with a wash cloth at least five times a day, trying to dry out my oily skin, but it didn't seem to help any. To compound the problem, Kate's social life started to soar. She was only allowed one date per week, but no car dates unless she was doubling with another couple. She and Lisa were in the same boat when it came to car dates, and so, twice, they wound up going out together on double dates. I had heard from several people that Kate liked to sit in the balcony at the movie theater, but, while she didn't mind making out, she wasn't letting anyone go all the way with her. If she had been, I'm sure, as her brother, someone would have come up to me and told me about it. There were always people who got a charge out of bringing other people some bad news. It was while we were out of school during Christmas vacation that my father first made me aware that he was thinking of letting me take the driving test to get my license. I had passed my driver's ed. class and taken driver's training already, so all I had to do was bring a parent who would sign off on the financial responsibility part, and then pass the driving test at the department of motor vehicles. My father took me out for half an hour after he got off of work, and we practiced parallel parking. After three days of this, he pronounced me ready to take the test. On a cold and wet Friday, December 21, 1962, my mother drove me down to the DMV. I had to take the written test over again because the driver's education test I'd passed was more than six months before. I passed it on my first try, and then I had to wait more than an hour before it was my turn to take the driver's test. The examiner I got to supervise my test looked like he was about seventy years old. He got in my mom's car and asked me if I was ready. I had already adjusted the mirrors, but I went through the motions again for him, and we left the testing area for the street. I drove slow and made hand signals as well as using the turn signals. I did my parallel park with ease, since my mother's car was about a foot shorter than my father's Packard. He wrote down several comments as I was trying to be careful and do everything he told me. That writing he was doing made me nervous, but I couldn't really look over there to try to see what he was writing about me. When we returned to the test area, he had to remind me to turn off the ignition. Once I did that, he stuck out his hand and congratulated me for passing my driving test and getting my license. We went inside, and then I got to have my picture taken, and they gave me my temporary license. I was happy that I passed. I never did get to see what the examiner had written on his clip board. For all I ever knew, he might have been writing his grocery shopping list. My mother had me drive her back to the dance studio because she was working on getting her paperwork all done for the close of the tax year on the business. I knew from listening to her talking to my father at the dinner table, that the studio had enjoyed a remarkably profitable year. This was due to the fitness craze that had been sweeping the country. For several years, my mother had been offering exercise classes for women and for smaller children, and it was one of the most profitable aspects of her business. At two dollars per person, my mother often had as many as fifty women in her morning exercise class, and as many as forty in each of the two afternoon classes she ran. I never understood why people paid that kind of money to do calisthenics with a whole lot of other people. My father made a good living, but my mother now made more than he did. Of course, half of what she made went to Agnes, but it was still a lot of money. My mother bought a lot of things for the house, things that were written off by the business. Agnes did the same thing for her apartment. There were a lot of tax loopholes, and my mother was aggressive in taking every advantage she could. Apparently, screwing the government out of some of their taxes was something that was well known to Hungarians just like it was with Americans. Dr. Horvath, the man who was my mother's accountant, took great joy in preparing my mother's tax returns each year. He said he enjoyed her fertile imagination when it came to deductions. When we got to the studio, my mother told me to come back at five fifteen to pick her up. She gave me a five dollar bill and told me to get some gas for the car and to check the oil. I went and filled up the gas tank, and had to buy a quart of oil. When I was finished, I still had more than a dollar left in change. What a glorious feeling it was, driving around all by myself. I drove over to the park, and by the high school and the junior high, but didn't run into anyone that I knew. I then drove over to Frank's and parked in an empty parking space right in front. I bought myself a vanilla Coke to go, and took it outside, drinking it while I leaned against the hood of my mother's car. Still no one I knew happened by. I finally decided to go back home. Kate was over at Lisa and Rita's house, so I stopped by there to see if she wanted me to give her a ride home. It was only a short walk, but I was desperate for someone to take for a ride since I now had my driver's license. "Can Lisa and Rita come too?" Kate had seen me pull up in front, and had come running to the Ross's front door. "To our house?" "No, for a ride. We want to go for a ride, and you can be our chauffeur." "Sure, hop in. Where would you ladies like to go?" The three girls hopped into the back seat, and, after a lot of excited discussion, decided to have me drive them down to Woolworth's, for a little shopping. I drove carefully, not really that confident yet in my driving abilities. We found a parking place near the front entrance and I parked and let them get out by themselves. As they were leaving, Kate told me to not leave them there, since they would only be a few minutes, and then they wanted me to take them all to Pepe's for lunch. I yelled after them that I only had a dollar on me, so they'd have to pay for pizza and drinks themselves. They ignored me as the ran inside the store. A few minutes turned into more than half an hour, and when they came out, there was another girl with them. A cute girl, one I had seen in school ever since the start of the school year. All four giggling girls jumped into the back seat, Rita ending up with Lisa sitting on her lap. "Go to Pepe's now, Larry. This is Miriam Trellman, she's in all my classes this year. She's never even been to Pepe's, She just moved here from Gardner, at the beginning of the school year. Miriam, this is our chauffeur, Larry, who also happens to be my brother." "Did you hear what I said about not having any money, Kate?" "I heard you say you had a dollar. Let's stop by the studio, and see if mom or Agnes wants some pizza. We can get more money from them." So, I drove over to the dance studio and Kate ran in to see my mom, and to try to get us some money. This left me alone in the car with the three other girls. This was when Miriam decided to speak her first words in my presence. "Is this your car, or your father's?" Her voice was low, like a boys voice. Kate and the other girls had high voices, but Miriam's was at least a tenor. If you aren't expecting that out of a girl, it can really surprise you. Apparently Lisa and Rita were already used to her voice, but it took me a minute to adjust. "It's my mom's car, but she lets me use it. I just got my license today." "You're sixteen then?" "In August. How old are you?" "I'm fifteen. Well, I will be on February sixth. Are you that Larry that Trudie Bowman talks about?" "No, I'm not that Larry." "I think you are. Trudie said it was Kate's brother, Larry. I only know one Kate, and you're her brother. So, you're that Larry, right?" "I don't think so. I don't know anyone named Trudie." "That isn't what I heard. I heard you know her REAL GOOD." "I don't think so, and I would be the best one to know if I knew her or not." "I think you're trying to fool me. I'll just ask her when I see her after the Holidays. She said that she knew you, and that you used to go out with her." "I never went out with Trudie. It was her sister that I took out." "So you admit you know her?" "No, I admit I knew her sister." "She was telling me some stuff about you. That's one of the reasons I wanted to meet you. When Kate said you were in the car, I asked her if I could go out to lunch with you guys." All of this time, Lisa and Rita are sitting in the back seat, being quiet, and listening to the two of us talking like we had been. I didn't know what they were making of all this. Kate came back waving a five dollar bill, a big smile on her face. She jumped into the front seat. "Mom and Aunt Agnes already ate. Mom gave me money, and she said you have to remember to come get her at five fifteen." "Kate, Larry claims he doesn't know Trudie Bowman. Is he lying?" "If Larry says he doesn't know her, then he doesn't. Why would Larry lie about it. I know her though, and he isn't missing much by not knowing her." "Hey, watch it! Trudie's a good friend of mine." "Well, that says something about you then. Larry take us back to Woolworth's, so we can let Miriam back out of the car." I started the car back up, and drove back to Woolworth's. No one spoke during the short trip. When I stopped, in the street, in front of the store, Miriam got out of the car and slammed the door shut, walking quickly away from us. All four of us watched her as she disappeared back into Woolworth's again. "Why did you treat her like that, Larry? Didn't you like her?" This was Lisa speaking. "I never met her before. If she had said that Trudie was a good friend of hers at the beginning, I might have answered her question differently. I like Trudie all right. Some people just like to talk about her and make stuff up, claiming she either did that, or said that, when she really didn't." "I know Trudie too, Larry, but she isn't a very nice girl. She has a bad reputation." Lisa was determined to make her point. "I've got a worse reputation than she does, Lisa. You haven't been in town long enough to have heard about me yet, I guess." "I heard. You're a boy though. People expect a boy to do stuff like that. Trudie's a girl, and she does a lot of stuff and doesn't care who knows it." "What does that make me then, Lisa. I already told you about the stuff I've done. I don't like Trudie either, but not because of her reputation. I just think she acts cheap." Kate looked upset at her new best friend. Lisa was looking over at Rita. You could tell that she wished she'd never said anything. "Kate, don't put Lisa on the spot like that. She's your friend. People always make allowances for friends and relatives. After today, when people see Rita and Lisa out with you and me, their reputations will be shot too, and people will be talking about them." I was relieved to hear both Lisa and Rita laughing. After that, the tension subsided, and we went into Pepe's and ate two pizzas, and drank two pitchers of cherry Cokes. I didn't like the cherry flavoring, but there was a two for one special on the pizzas and the Cokes, but they had to be the same, no substitutions, and none of the girls liked vanilla flavored Coke anyway. Rita was a healthy eater, just like me. She was fourteen now, and was losing that baby fat. In fact, she was starting to look pretty good. Lisa was still built like a stick at fifteen. I had seen her mother, and she wasn't that much more developed than Lisa was. Rita had to take after her father's side of the family. Already, her breasts were bigger than her mother's. Kate had told me that Rita's development was hard for Lisa to take. I could believe it. If Rita hadn't been so short, she would have looked like the older sister. I was looking at Rita's chest, not really paying any attention to what any of the girls were saying, when I heard someone calling my name. "Larry, earth to Larry, do you think you can possibly stop staring at Rita's boobs long enough to answer us?" I pulled my head away from staring at Rita and looked over at Kate. She was the one who had said that to me. "I was just looking. Measuring their outward progress." "I'm sure we're all happy that you were taking such an interest, Larry. We asked you if you'd like to take us all to the drive in movies tonight. We can pay our own way in." "Me take you three? To the drive in? Why would I want to do that?" "To see the movies? You don't have any date for tonight, and I thought you might still want to do something to celebrate getting your license." "You mean you were hoping to work your new chauffeur overtime?" "That too. You can sit with whoever you want to up front, so you don't look so much like the undateable sad sack that you are." "I'm not even going to dignify that last comment with an answer. Now that I've got my driver's license, I'm sure I can have my pick of dates. If you had asked me nice, I might have done it for you as a favor though." "You know that you want to. Who would you pick to sit up front with you?" "I'd pick you, Kate. That way I'd know these innocent girls would be safe from you." As soon as I said that, I knew I'd made a big mistake. For a year, Kate had been good. Living down her earlier reputation. I didn't know if Lisa and Rita even knew about Kate and Clara. "That way you couldn't eat all their pop corn or hog their candy." I tried to recover, but one look at Kate's stricken face told me that I'd failed miserably. Rita didn't seem to get it, but Lisa's face had turned all red. She got it all right. I felt lower than a snake's belly. I wished there was some way I could take that thoughtless sentence back. "Take us back to Lisa and Rita's house, Larry. I wouldn't let you take us now, not even if you begged me to be able to." "I never said I wouldn't want to take Rita and Lisa, Kate. I'd even take you if you promised to sit over in the back and put a blanket over your head if anyone I know happens by. A guy doesn't want to be seen out at the drive in with his own sister." "Are you begging me? You have to say it if you want me to forgive you." "I'm begging you to forgive me, Kate. I didn't mean it the way it came out." "So who do you really pick to sit up front with you?" "How about both of them?" "No, only one. You can switch if you want to, after the first movie. They both want to sit with you anyway, so it wouldn't matter who you picked first." "I don't know Kate. Do these girls know what's liable to happen if they sit up front?" All three of them giggled, and nodded their heads, while looking at each other. I knew that Kate and Lisa had dated, and that Kate knew what Lisa had done on their double dates together. I never heard that Rita had started dating, but I might have just missed mention of it. I was just so grateful that Kate wasn't going to go into a prolonged sulk over what I'd said earlier. "I'll take you then, but, only if you girls promise not to take advantage of me." There was laughter, and then the three of them stuck their heads together, and started whispering. When they broke their little huddle, Kate spoke for the three of them. "We promise not to do anything that you haven't done before." "Nope, too open ended. Remember this is a first date. I need set limits that you won't try to go past. You have to promise not to try to go past first base." "On you or on us?" This was Lisa. "On me." "What is first base for a boy?" "No touching any of the important stuff, same as for a girl." "Boys don't have any important stuff except for one thing." "What about on us?" This was Rita asking me that. "Depends. When it's your turn in front, you can whisper to me what your limit is." "Me too?" Lisa again. "You too. All of this depends on all of our parents saying it's all right to go to the drive in together. We'll need to leave before six. I'll take you girls home, so that Kate and I can go pick up my mom and find out if we can even go." I dropped the Ross girls off and drove straight to my mom's studio. Kate and I went inside together after I was parked in our parking lot. Inside, my mother was finishing up with all of her tax stuff. Her desk had about fifty different manila envelopes on it. Each one was filled with different kinds of receipts. It was a little before five o'clock, but she looked like she was just getting finished. "Mama, can Larry take Lisa, Rita and me to the drive in movies tonight, in your car? We all want to go, and he said he'd take us if you agree." "A drive in movie? I don't know about that. You girls are too young. You know we don't let you go there on dates. Maybe if you are with your brother though. We'll ask papa." For some reason, Kate stayed quiet, not trying to steamroller my mother into saying yes on her own. I figured my father was less than a fifty fifty chance to say yes. A lot less than a fifty fifty chance. When Kate didn't say anything, my mother started walking out of her office, leaving all of her papers on her desk. When we were outside, I was going to ask her if I could drive, but she was already heading over to the passenger door side. Kate got in the back seat. I drove home cautiously, hoping to make my mother more confident in my driving abilities. We got home without incident or conversation. I went inside right behind Kate and my mother, and hung her car keys up on the hook my father had put in the wall next to the door. Before he put up those hooks, he and my mother were always misplacing their keys and having to look around for them. At five thirty, Lisa called Kate to see if we could go. My father was still not home. Lisa's mom and dad had given them permission to go, so we were just waiting on our end to see if we would get permission. The movie started at six thirty, and it would be getting dark already by then. At five forty five, my father still hadn't come home. Kate looked nervous, but she didn't say anything to try to get my mother to decide if we could go or not on her own. At five before six, I told my mother that we needed to leave by six if we wanted to go to the movies. "You can go, Larry, but drive very carefully. You aren't used to driving at night. You watch out for Katinka, make sure she stays in the car and watches the movies. Call me if you have any problems." I grabbed the keys and hurried out to my mom's car. Kate was already sitting in the passenger seat. We were just a hundred yards down the street, when I saw my father turning onto our street from behind us. A close call. If he had gotten home five minutes earlier, we probably wouldn't have gotten permission to go. Kate started to get out of the car when we parked in front of the Ross house, but Lisa and Rita were already waiting out front. Instead, Kate hopped over the backrest, and rolled into the back seat. When she did that, I saw her underpants. Rita got in on the front passenger side, and Lisa got in the back seat. A minute later, we were on our way. The drive in was about a ten minute drive from where we were. I drove slow, so it took me fifteen minutes. All the girls were telling me to hurry up, so we could be sure to get speakers that worked good, and a good place to watch from. We paid the five dollars for the carload, and were able to get a spot close to the concession stand, but away from the kids playground. We found a good speaker too. There weren't that many cars there yet, and we found out that a lot of people liked to wait until it was really dark before coming into the drive in. After we were all parked and everything, the girls left to go to the bathroom and get some popcorn and drinks for the show. I stayed in the car, listening to my mom's car radio. The movie had started, and they were showing a Tom & Jerry cartoon by the time everyone got back. Lisa got in the front seat this time. I didn't say anything, or ask what had happened to Rita, to make them to change places like that. As soon as the first movie started playing, Lisa started slowly edging over closer to me. I stretched, leaving my right arm draped over the back rest. There were two girl giggling in the back. I heard Kate whispering a running commentary on Lisa's progress. That is when Lisa halted where she was, and stopped coming closer to me. I reached my arm down onto her shoulder and drew her in closer. She only resisted for a second or two, before sliding her butt towards me, closing the distance in one quick movement. I leaned in close to her ear and asked her what her limits were. "Just kissing, nothing else." Sounded good to me. I had half expected her to say my hand on her shoulder. I decided to get right to it before she decided to back away and change her mind. Like I admitted earlier, I had been in something of a dry spell for a few months. With the exception of Agnes, it was a lot longer than that. I figured a little bit of kissing might keep my engine oiled, in case I got myself another date sometime. Lisa surprised me by opening her mouth to my tongue the first time I pressed it between her lips. In no time at all, we were having a world class smooch off. Both of our breaths were heated up in a matter of only a few minutes. I was certain that Lisa had no breasts whatsoever, and that is one of the reasons that I made no attempt to feel them. So, when she reached for my hand and pulled it up to her chest, I didn't expect to feel anything. What I did feel was an eraser sized nipple, and once I felt it, I knew what to do with it. Fifteen minutes I teased and tweaked it, pushed and prodded it, until I was starting to wonder how the other one would feel. No sooner had I started to wonder about it, before it was presented to me by an abrupt movement on Lisa's part. I stopped kissing her mouth long enough to look into the back seat and see Kate and Rita looking at my face as I peered over at them. They were sitting all apart, but Kate had one of her hands busy under her own skirt, and Rita had both of her arms crossed over her chest and looked like she was busy working on her own nipples. I went back to worrying about Lisa. About halfway through the movie, I stopped playing with Lisa's breasts and started running my hand over her jeans, on the inner part of her thigh. I didn't try to cop a feel, but I just rubbed her thigh, up and back, slowly. I had enough pressure so that she could definitely feel me there, but no so much that she would get worried that I was about to attack her pussy. It was a lazy kind of motion. Enough to let her know that I was interested, but not so much that she would think that I was insisting. I wanted her to be relaxed, and used to the idea of having her thigh touched. I definitely didn't want to scare her away. I stopped doing anything after about fifteen minutes of stroking her thigh. I had her head resting on my pectoral muscle, and I just kept my arm around her, stroking her side until the first movie ended. By that time, my breathing was normal again, and my dick had shrunken enough so that I was no longer uncomfortable. When the first movie was over, all of us got out of the car and went to the concession stand. I went into the rest room and used the open urinal. It was an open trough, roughly twenty feet long, and guys would just step up to it and let fly. I was a little self conscious because I'd never pissed at a communal urinal before. It took me awhile to get my stream started. I finished up, and returned to the car before any of the girls. When they returned, I expected that Lisa would get back up in front with me. I had assumed that Rita had begged off from taking her turn earlier. When they came back, Rita jumped right in the front, a huge smile lighting up her face. She didn't even pause before sliding all the way over until she was pressed tightly against me. I looked in the back seat, and Kate and Lisa were settling in. Kate threw a blanket over both of them, covering them both from the waist down. Lisa looked at me, and I thought she looked just a little embarrassed by the way Kate was getting everything set up back there. "What are your limits, Rita?" "I'm not sure. What did Lisa let you do?" "Only kiss." "That's all? I thought you were doing other stuff too. It looked like you were. You weren't touching her on top?" "No, just kissing. I had my hand over her shoulders too. Maybe that's what made you think of the other stuff." Rita raised up until she was looking into the back seat. Kate and Lisa just stared back at her. They weren't doing anything to each other. Rita dropped back down again. She was so short, her head didn't even come to the top of the back rest. She beckoned me down to her with her finger, and I leaned in, tilting my head so that her lips were right by my ear. She started whispering to me then. "I want you to touch me, Larry. On top at first, then between my legs, but not until the movie starts, and only if you're sure that Lisa isn't peeking at us." "Are you sure about between your legs, Rita? Have you done that before?" "A little bit, but not with a boy before." "I'm not sure we should do that. We might both get in trouble if Kate or Lisa see it, and they say something." "They won't say anything. They'll be doing it too when the movie starts." Maybe Kate hadn't been behaving as much as I thought she was. At least she was being circumspect and discrete about it. I didn't have any problem with her messing around with Lisa, not as long as it didn't become generally known, especially with my parents. The movie started, and I had to lean way down to start kissing Rita. Like Lisa, she wasn't shy about admitting my tongue to her mouth. She had prominent nipples just like Lisa, but hers were also attached to protruding breasts. A nice handful of protruding breast. Sensitive to stimulus, protruding breasts. Five minutes into the movie, Rita was lying on her back and her sweater was up and her bra was raised up over ner breasts. I was licking and sucking on each of her breasts in turn. I stopped for just a minute, and listened to hear if there were any noises coming from the back seat. There were. I looked back there, and Kates head was buried between Lisa's thighs. Lisa's jeans were hanging from her left foot, and both her hands were outside the blanket covering Kate's head. Lisa looked over at my head and smiled. All the time she did this, her hands never left Kate and she was pressing on the back of Kate's head urging her on. That ended any concern I might have had about Lisa or Kate mentioning anything about what Rita and I were doing. I unzipped and pulled my dick out, over the top of my under pants. I went back down and resumed sucking on Rita's breasts. I put my left hand up under her skirt, and found her panties right away. As soon as my finger reached her crotch, she spread her legs and started hunching against my fingers. Her panties were alread wet. I got under her panties and managed to find her clit pretty quickly. As soon as I'd given it a tiny amount of rubbing, I removed my hand and searched for one of hers to put on my dick. "Oh God!" That is what Rita yelled when I first managed to place her hand on my dick. By then I was already moving back under her dress with my hand. She helped me take her panties down, never letting go of my stiff prick all the time. I found her opening, and was starting to probe slowly, fully expecting to run into her barrier when I got there. No hymen again. It was surprising to me that I'd only ever encountered one hymen between all the girls I'd had a chance to get my finger on, and that was Karen's. Not only was there no hymen, but, as soon as my finger sunk into her, she started moving in that most ancient rhythm of all. She was fucking my finger. Her hand on my dick was moving back and forth in motion with my finger. She brought her lips to mine and started sucking on my tongue. It made me wonder who had taught her all of this. It wasn't anything that a girl would just naturally pick up. We broke our kiss and Rita started telling me to put it in her. I lifted my head up again, and now, Kate was laying all spread eagled and Lisa was down on the floor of the car. Her face was buried between Kate's legs and Kate didn't even bother to cover her head with the blanket. It looked hot. Lisa looked like she knew what she was doing, and she looked like she was enjoying herself doing it. I moved back down and reached into my back pants pocket for my wallet. I was going to get a rubber out before I remembered that I had never replaced the one that I'd used with Agnes. I was disappointed. I knew, from the way Rita was busy trying to move my dick right into position, that she'd be disappointed as well. "I didn't bring a rubber." "I don't care. I need you to put it in me." "It isn't safe." "I don't care. Just for a minute. I want to feel what it would feel like. It's so big. It's a lot bigger than Daddy's." "RITA! Don't talk about that. You've done it now!" I looked down at Rita's face, and she looked a lot like she was going to cry. And, then, she did cry. A lot. And she didn't cry silently either. It was a loud wailing cry. The kind where you just know some loved one has died unexpectedly. It was almost painful to listen to. My finger was still buried past the second knuckle inside her pussy, but she seemed to have forgotten all about it. I didn't want to move it, and remind her of what I was doing. Needless to say the mood had been broken, both in the front seat and in the back. That's when I felt Rita grabbing my wrist, and trying to pull my finger out of her. I didn't resist. I could hear Kate and Lisa scrambling to get dressed again. Lisa was crying too now, but not as loud as Rita. I had no idea what I could say in order to comfort her. "It's okay, Rita. I've seen my dad's dick too, and it isn't as big as mine is either." Jesus, that was pathetic. At least I got a laugh from Kate. Rita stopped wailing for a minute. I looked down and she was staring at my dick. The dick I'd forgotten all about having out, was now bobbing in the moonlight. "How big is it?" I thought that was hilarious for some reason. I reached down and tucked it back inside my underpants, and tried to fasten my top jeans button. It wasn't cooperating, and I could still see the head of it sticking out above my underwear. "Big enough. Right now, I wish it wasn't so big." "Don't say that! I think it's very pretty just like it is. I bet it would feel good too. Real good. Lisa, did you see it yet? It's like a foot long. I've never seen anything like it. Larry take it out again and show it to Lisa. "It isn't anything close to a foot long, and I'm done showing it around for tonight. Maybe another time." "Don't say anything about what I said about Daddy, Larry. We'll all get in trouble if you do." Rita started back in crying, but this time it was only some sniffling. "She's telling the truth, Larry. We'll get in bad trouble if you tell anybody. It's a secret." "It slipped out Lisa, I didn't mean to." "You better just shut up before it gets even worse. I don't know what we're going to do if Larry or Kate say something. We'll have to move again. Why couldn't you just keep quiet for once?" I looked over at Kate and she looked at me. We were both a little bit shocked. We had our own things that had happened, but I couldn't imagine my father doing it with Kate. Then, I thought about Agnes and about that time I'd eaten that carrot that had been in Kate's pussy. I guess it was only shocking if it wasn't your family. One thing I knew, I wasn't going to be volunteering any information about anything I might have done. Kate was talking quietly to Lisa. I'm certain she was telling her that she and I wouldn't tell anyone about anything that had been said or done tonight. I was finally dressed, and so was Rita. All four of us were a little uncomfortable around each other now. I didn't know what more I should say. I started the car, and we pulled forward slowly. I'm glad I remembered to replace the speaker before I put the car into gear. When we pulled up in front of their house, both girls got out and ran up their driveway without even telling us goodbye. Kate jumped into the front seat before I put the car back in gear and drove home. "What did you think when she said that?" I looked at Kate. I wanted to think for a minute before I answered her. I didn't want to say the wrong thing to her. "I guess it just surprised me. I wasn't thinking about anything like that, but when she said it, it answered some questions I was already having. You know how shy she seemed, and how she got all enmbarrassed when we used to dance? It was hard to match that up with the way she acted tonight. She definitely learned a lot of stuff before tonight, and I wondered about it when I first noticed it. What did you think?" "I already knew. Lisa told me almost when we first met. He's been doing things with them since they were both little. Lisa think that's why she never developed like she should be by now." "It didn't have that effect on Rita." "I told Lisa that, but she says Rita likes him doing it to her, and besides, she thinks that's why Rita didn't get tall." "Well, I'm not going to say anything. I wish that Rita hadn't made that comment. Now I know and I'm going to feel funny if I ever meet her father." "I met him. To see him, and talk with him, you'd never think he does that to them. He acts just like a normal father. It's pretty creepy though, me knowing, and then seeing him looking at me." "He never tried anything funny with you?" "No. Their mom is so nice too, but Lisa says she knows about it, and won't do anything." We went inside. I went to sleep, but not before I got myself a little relief. I also put two rubbers in my wallet, thinking how different the night might have been, if I hadn't forgotten to do that before going to the drive in. The next day, Lisa called, and told Kate that their whole family was leaving to go visit relatives for over the Holiday. When school started up again, they still hadn't come back home. We never saw either of them again. Kate felt really bad. I didn't know whether to be sad or happy about them leaving. I wound up feeling a little bit of both. With Lisa moving away like that, Kate started asking me if I'd mind doubling with her on future car dates. That wasn't anything that I was looking forward to. It was one thing to see Kate making out with another girl, but I didn't think I'd like it if she was doing that with some guy, and I was there to see or hear it. I was saved from having to worry about any of that for long though, because Clara moved back home with her mother. I had enjoyed Christmas vacation, although my only excitement had been that movie date with the Ross sisters. When school started up again in January, the first that either Kate or I knew that Clara was back living with her mother, was when we saw her in the hallway as we were coming into school that first day back. Kate was thinking that Lisa and Rita weren't ever coming back, especially after we both saw the moving van parked in front of their house, and none of the Ross's there with it. Kate asked one of the movers where they were taking the furniture, and he told her that it was all going into storage. ------- Chapter 51 "CLARA!" Kate threw down her coat and started running over to Clara. I bent over and picked up her coat. By the time I straightened back up, Kate and Clara were wrapped in a tight hug together, both of them were trying to speak at the same time. I hung back, not wishing to do anything to spoil their reunion. Also, my legs felt too uncertain to be trusted to carry me any closer to her. I hadn't seen Clara in over a year. Sure, I had thought about her once or twice during that time, or more, maybe ten thousand times, but, I hadn't seen her. With Clara, her strongest claim on my heart was always when I could see her. It was like we needed that visual connection in order for our love to work. My love, at least. I didn't even know if she felt anything for me at all. Just when I was feeling steady enough to approach Kate and Clara, Mrs. Townsend came walking out of the school administration office. When she saw Kate with Clara, she beamed a big smile. She looked around until her eyes fell on me, and then the smile disappeared as quickly as it had come. She handed Clara a sheet of paper, and hugged her from behind before she started walking towards the front door of the school. She passed by me, no more than three feet away from me, without even acknowledging my presence. I turned and watched her as she kept walking. She was about twenty feet past me, before she stopped, and turned back to me again. She retraced her steps, until she stood right in front of me. "Hello, Mrs. Townsend. Happy New Year." "Hello, Larry. I thought I should ask you to try not to upset Clara. She's just getting settled in back here, and I really hope that you will let her get comfortable before you do anything to set back the excellent progress she's made since getting you out of her life." "I've told you before that I don't want to do anything that is bad for her. I'll stay away from her if you think that's best." "Just don't approach her, Larry. If she approaches you, try to be pleasant to her. Don't rehash any old wounds. Don't encourage her if she still expresses feelings for you. Her therapist says that she should make her own decisions about who she wants to associate with. My personal preference would be that she avoid having anything to do with you. You represent her old life. We are hoping that she will begin her new life now. I thought the same way about Kate, but I was told that Kate represents a part of Clara's past that she desires to retain and build upon. If Kate is good for Clara, then I approve of her." She turned then, and walked back the way she had been going before she had returned to speak with me. I watched her until she disappeared completely from my sight. When I turned back, Kate and Clara were standing three feet away from me. I handed Kate her jacket. "Hi, Clara. I'm glad to see you back here. I'm sorry for what I said, and for how I acted the last time I saw you. Your mom wants us to stay apart, but I just wanted you to know that I wasn't going to cause you any problems." "My mom said I can make my own decisions about my friends now. If she hadn't told me that, I would have stayed with my father. Kate is my friend, and I'll be seeing her a lot. As a friend only though. I already told her that, and now I'm telling you, just so you know that. I did some bad things in the past, things that I wish now I hadn't. I can't go back and change anything, but I can, and will, control my actions, both now, and in the future. For right now, I would prefer that you and I be only acquaintances. I'm not mad at you, but I'm not ready to decide where we should be going, or even if we should be going anywhere together." Clara turned and walked quickly away. After only a slight hesitation, Kate followed after her. I stood there, watching the two of them hurrying off to their homerooms. I didn't move, not until the hallway got too crowded for people to easily walk around me. Clara was still looking good. I hoped she hadn't noticed the new pimple, about the size of a goiter, that had erupted on my neck, overnight. I had complained about my pimples at the dinner table the night before, and my father told me to rub urine on them. I had gotten mad at him for joking around about something I was having serious problems with, but my mother backed him up. That was disgusting, just the idea of it. There was no way that I was going to put piss on my own face. I'd rather have the pimples. That was before I saw Clara though. Seeing her made me desperate enough to give anything a try. It was still disgusting, but it was my own piss at least. It wasn't like it was some horse's piss, or from a stranger. I decided I'd give it a try, the next time I took a shower. Even though I had my license, my mother still made Kate and I walk to school. I had thought she would prefer for me to drive her to work, and then pick her up after, but she didn't volunteer, and I didn't ask her. I saw Clara in the lunch room, which meant we had the same lunch period. Kate had second lunch period. Clara was sitting with three other girls, one of whom was Miriam Trellman. I found a place to sit by myself, and quickly ate my lunch. I had finished eating and was about to leave when Miriam walked over to my table and sat down across from me. "You lied to me, Larry. About Trudie. How come?" "For one thing, I don't know you. For another, you didn't tell me in the beginning that you and Trudie were friends. Finally, I don't discuss one girl with another one, no matter what." "Trudie says you are the best she ever did it with. I don't have a boyfriend yet. Are you interested in taking me out sometime?" "I've quit dating, Miriam. It costs too much and it just makes problems for me." "We could go to the movies. I can pay my own way. It wouldn't cost you very much. I'm very easy to get along with too. I don't cause any problems either." "Let me think about it. Maybe after the semester ends. I need to study a lot right now." "You won't be sorry that you asked me out, Larry. I can do everything that you'd want a girl to do with you. Everything." "You make it sound real attractive. I'll think about it, and let you know." "I might already have a boyfriend, if you wait too long." "School comes first." "If I knew you were going to ask me out, after finals, I'd wait for you." "Let me think about it. I'll let you know as soon as I decide. In the meantime, you can have other dates. I'm not the jealous type." "Do you want my phone number? You can call me if you're too shy to ask me here." "No, I like asking face to face. I don't like phones." "I don't think you're even going to ask me. Why don't you just admit it?" "If that's what you think, then I guess I won't. Why should I take a girl out if all she wants to do is argue?" "I wasn't arguing. You just don't sound that interested." "Miriam, you know you're a cute girl. You've already told me that you want me to ask you out. You've even hinted that you like to make out. Why wouldn't I want to ask you out?" "That's what I was wondering. You aren't going with anyone are you?" "No. I'm not even dating, I told you that already." "If Trudie was telling me the truth, you're worth waiting for. It would be mean if you didn't tell me that you weren't going to take me out when you weren't going to." "Miriam, I am going to take you out, after I finish taking my finals and turning in all of my papers that are coming due. We'll go to the drive in movies, and I'll even pay. I'll let you do whatever you want to me then." "You really mean it, right?" "Cross my heart. I'll be saving it all for you." "You won't be sorry, Larry. I know how to treat a boy, and I'm no teaser either." "Be still my heart. Don't get me excited, Miriam. I'll have to sit here until it goes down." She smiled at me then. Convinced now that her charms and allure had won the day. She was cute, and I was needy. I'd take her out and find out whether she teased or not. I didn't want to be her boyfriend though. She was a little too brassy for my tastes. She was like Trudie, but without Trudie's charm, and her good sense of humor. Still, I was in a dry spell, and Miriam looked promising as one way to end it. I watched Miriam walking back to the other table. Clara was watching me as I watched Miriam. Suddenly, I wasn't quite so happy with myself. I didn't need to hear Miriam's version of our conversation to know that she would make it look like I was eating right from her hand. In half a second, my dick had shrunk down to where I didn't have to worry about embarrassing myself when I stood up. After school, Kate and Clara waited for each other to get out of school and they started walking home together. I had stayed inside the front door, waiting for them to leave before coming out myself. I even waited until they had a whole block's lead before I walked home by myself. I even walked a block out of my way so that I'd be walking parallel to them. I didn't want to have them think I was following them. I didn't walk fast, but when I got home, Kate still wasn't there. I went into my room and started studying, eating two pieces of leftover chicken, and drinking a big glass of milk before I got down to some serious studying. I had one week to get prepared for the first final, and I still had two term papers to prepare and hand in. This year, the school board had decided that finals would be staggered so that no one had to take a final until after they had gone a day without one. It was going to take two weeks for finals, instead of just one. To me, it just meant more time for us kids to be worried since, they didn't post any test scores until all the finals were over. Kate came home around four o'clock, and went straight to her room and closed her door. I heard her crying after a few minutes, but I left her alone. If she wanted to talk, she knew where I was. I guessed that she was upset about Clara's decision not to be her girlfriend anymore. At least, not that kind of girlfriend. I was really making progress on my Trig review when Kate barged into my room. She looked at me like she was hoping I'd say something about it so that she could start yelling at me. Her eyes looked like she'd been crying, and she looked angry too. I didn't say anything, and so she pulled my chair out, and then sat down on it. "This stinks, Larry. Clara really means it. She didn't even let me kiss her. When she changed out of her school clothes, she went into her bathroom to do it. She doesn't even want me to look at her anymore." "Maybe that's just because she's afraid that she'd be too tempted. You have to decide if she's really your friend, or only your girlfriend." "Why can't we still be both?" "Kate, it's because that isn't what Clara says she wants. She doesn't even want to be friends with me." "That's what you know. You should have heard her telling me about Miriam being such a slut when she was talking about you at lunch. Clara got so mad. She said that if you go out with Miriam, she'll never speak to you again. Are you going out with her anyway?" "Just as soon as finals are over. We're going to the drive in. Miriam practically promised me a good time. I can barely stand to wait until then." "You want me to tell Clara that, don't you?" "I don't care what you tell her. She's your friend, not mine." "You still love her though?" "I didn't say that. I said she's your friend, not mine. I don't have to do what she wants, just like she doesn't have to do what I want." "Who would you rather be taking to that drive in? I bet it's Clara. If you're honest." "Maybe we should double. Miriam and me, and Clara and you?" "That isn't even funny, Larry." Kate started crying again. She could always cry, on demand. I wasn't falling for it this time. "We could switch again after the first movie." Kate had to laugh at that. "I could probably get more from Miriam than you could." "I could stretch her out for you, so you'd have an easier time with her." "I wouldn't lick her, not after you put your dick in there." "I'd use a rubber." "That's just as bad. Besides, I'd rather you got Clara all hot first, and then maybe she wouldn't mind if we did some things together again." "You know, Kate, part of being a friend is to not take advantage of your friends when their guard is let down. Even if Clara let you, she might feel bad about it after." "I know that. I wasn't serious. We were both kidding. I'm just sad that Clara doesn't love me the same way now that I love her. She's changed. It's like she's a whole different person. I still like her, but it isn't the same being with her now. We aren't as close, and we don't both like the same things anymore. It's very sad to me." "I'm a little sad too. Don't tell Clara that I said that either. I don't know what it is, but whenever I see her, it's like I get this strong urge to get close again with her. It only lasts when I'm looking right at her, or right after, when I'm still thinking about her. I feel this strong attraction." "You just love her. Why don't you admit it?" "I'm not sure that explains it, Kate. I'm not saying that I don't love her. It's just that seeing her triggers my feelings to a whole different level. Turns it up, like the volume on the television. It's like I love her a little bit all the time, but when I see her, it gets a lot stronger. It scares me sometimes, because I can't even explain it to myself." "If you still love her, why don't you want me to tell her?" "Because her mom and her therapist think she's better off without me. I think that too. When we are together, I do what I want to do with her. She lets me too, and then I guess we both wind up feeling bad about it. When you love someone, being together should be good for both of you. That isn't how it is with Clara and me. Maybe all I deserve to get are girls like Trudie and Miriam. We don't ever hurt each other, because we only want to use each other. Clara is different to me. When I see her, I want whatever is best for her, but I don't always act on that desire." "I'm going to tell you something that Clara told me. Something I promised not to tell you." "Don't, Kate. You shouldn't betray her confidence like that." "It was almost word for word what you said to me about her just now. You don't think you're good enough for her, and she doesn't think she's good enough for you. One of you has to be wrong. Maybe even both of you. I'm going to tell her what you told me. Some confidences don't deserve to be kept." "I wish you wouldn't tell her. It won't change anything. Clara and me, it just isn't meant to be. We've tried several times, and it always ends up badly. I can't face going through all that again." "You can be such a coward, Larry. Sometimes you make me ashamed that you're my brother." Kate got up and left my room, and I went back to studying. What Kate didn't understand was that Clara and I might both be right. Sometimes, people can have all the love in the world for each other, but still not be right for a relationship. It was past time that both of us accepted that we weren't right, and moved on with living our separate lives. Thinking that way still left a deep emptiness inside me. A void that forced me to pull back and avoid making a full commitment to giving up on Clara forever. I wasn't quite ready to slam that particular door completely closed. Instead, I'd stand back and make sure it wasn't anything that I did to try to open it back up. I recognized that I'd been stuck rationalizing our relationship this way for the past two years, but I couldn't make that last leap into the void. I had to hold onto at least one tiny strand of hope for Clara and me. I went into the bathroom and took a shower. As distasteful as it was to me, I tried my father's recommended cure for my complexion. I hated the thought of it. It seemed unclean and like some primitive old wives tale passed down to unsuspecting children from the dark ages. When I was finished doing it, I rinsed myself off thoroughly. I wondered if the cure wasn't worse than the disease. I reminded myself of the disease, and then told myself to give it at least two weeks, to see if there was any improvement. Over the next two weeks, I was under a lot of stress, socially, scholastically and hygienically. Every night I washed my face thoroughly in my own piss, and then spent at least five more minutes rinsing everything. I studied, and I wrote my two term papers, took three finals and studied for the remaining two. Monday morning of the third week, I awoke to find no new blemishes, and that the others had dried up and were almost disappeared. I was happy about my complexion's improvement, but worried about how long I'd have to continue the treatment. I thought about that all day. I admit that I was vain about my looks. Even though I wasn't the best looking guy around, I enjoyed the fact that a lot of girls seemed to like my looks. My bout with acne, pimples, or whatever you wanted to call it, had affected my self confidence at a very deep level. If that hadn't been true, I'd have never been willing to use the drastic measure that I did. Walking around in school that day, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. Being self conscious about your looks wasn't something that I wanted to have a repeat experience with. If that meant I'd have to wash my face in piss, once a day, in perpetuity, then that is what I'd do. What I wouldn't do is pass my secret recipe for curing blemished complexion's around. Maybe to my own children, but no one else. For me, at least, it had seemed to work. Because of it working, I could accept the act of washing my face that way. I sure hoped that I could stop the treatments now, but I was going to have to ask my mother before I did stop. That was going to be embarrassing, but it would be even more embarrassing if I kept on doing it when I didn't need to. That night, right before we sat down for dinner, my father took me over to the light in the living room and examined my face. He touched the last two visible, but drying, blemishes. "So, does papa know what he's talking about?" "How long do I need to do it?" "Try once a week unless you break out again. In a year, if you don't have problems, maybe once a month. By the time you are eighteen or nineteen, you can quit doing it altogether. Don't be embarrassed about it, it is scientific medicine. The uric acid drys the skin and heals the blemishes. You can buy it at a drug store, but the other way is cheaper, and just as effective. Plus, it comes out in exactly the right concentration and dosage." He let go of my face and laughed at me. "You mean I can go to a drugstore and get something else that works just as good? I don't need to rub piss on my face?" "I suppose, but I'm not paying for it. My way, if you run out of medicine, you drink a glass of water, and are right back in business. Be happy it isn't gout, you have. The treatment for it is really disgusting." I followed my father's advice, and never went to a drug store to buy uric acid. I wouldn't have any idea about how much to use anyway. I finished taking my last final on Thursday in the morning. Because some finals were in the morning, and some in the afternoon, they kept the cafeteria open and still served food there. When I got out of my last final, I went to the cafeteria to get some lunch. I saw Miriam sitting with Clara, and with two other girls. Instead of getting something to eat, I made a beeline over to their table. "Hi Miriam. Guess what today is?" "Thursday?" "That's right. Thursday. I just got out from taking my last final. I'm finished with everything for this semester. Do you remember what that means?" Miriam, preened, simpered, and smiled, in what I'm sure she thought, was coquettish innocence. "That I'm about to get asked out to the drive in?" "You got it in one. How about tomorrow night? I'll pick you up at five thirty?" "I don't even know what's playing, Larry." "Don't worry about that. You'll be way too busy to be watching the movie anyway." While Miriam was digesting that little tid bit, Clara spoke up for the first time. She was sitting right beside Miriam, and I was on Miriam's other side. Clara and I hadn't spoken since that first day in the hallway of school. She and Kate still ran around together, but not ever at our house. "If you love me, why would you take her out?" "Write your address down for me Miriam, so that I can come pick you up." "Don't do this, Larry. I won't be able to forgive you." Miriam had taken out a sheet of paper and was printing her address and phone number. She finished and handed it to me. "Five thirty, Larry, tomorrow night. Don't be late." I took the paper, and looked at it. Making sure that I could read Miriam's writing. Was I really willing to jump off into the void just so I could get my ashes hauled with Miriam? I mean, to be honest, I wasn't even really looking forward to it that much. I looked over at Clara, and then I looked at the other two girls. I dropped the paper that Miriam had given me on top of her notebook. "I'm sorry, Miriam, really sorry. Clara and I haven't quite worked out how we can act around each other yet. I'll have to back out of our date until we do. I'm really sorry." I was sorry too. I knew I had just embarrassed her by doing that. I never had any intention of doing that when I went and asked her out. I just wasn't ready to do something that Clara would never forgive me for. Not as long as I could help it. I turned away from them, and walked out of the cafeteria, and out of the school as well. I ran almost all the way home, and when I got there, I went into my bedroom and locked my door. I threw myself down on my bed and just stayed there, trying to catch my breath, and calm down enough so that I could think about what I'd just done. Obviously, I was finished with Miriam. There was no way she'd ever forgive what I'd done to her. What about Clara? She hadn't said anything about wanting to see me, or to spend time with me, only that she knew I loved her, and that she'd never be able to forgive me if I went on that date with Miriam. I didn't know whether me breaking the date with Miriam was a good thing to do, but I hadn't been able to do anything else, not if it meant what Clara said it did. The telephone started ringing, but I didn't get up and go answer it. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Not until I figured out what I did want to do. I let the phone ring about fifteen times before it finally stopped ringing. In a minute, it started ringing again. I kept on ignoring it. Five minutes later, I heard Kate come through the front door. "Open up Larry, I've got a message from Clara for you." She was trying to open my door while she talked. "Are you going to hide behind a locked door, Larry? What will mom and dad think when they get home and find you locked in your own room? I can just yell her message if that's what you want me to do?" She shut up for a minute, and I still wouldn't answer her. She actually waited a long time for Kate. "Open the damn door, Larry. Clara's here, and she wants to talk to you." "Can I come in, Larry? Just to talk to you." Clara really was there. That was why Kate had been so patient. Clara was in my house, right outside my bedroom door, and she wanted me to let her in. I almost jumped up and let her in. I didn't do that though. Part of loving someone was not taking advantage when they were vulnerable. I'd told Kate that, and now I had to show her, by my own example, that I'd really meant it. "Clara, I don't feel like talking right now. You already got what you wanted. I need to think about a lot of other things right now, things I don't want to discuss with anyone else. I'm sorry that I can't talk to you, but I really can't." "Thank you for doing that to Miriam, for telling her that you wouldn't go out with her after I asked you. I just wanted you to know that I'd go out with you if you ever ask me to." I didn't respond to her. I really did need to think. "Did you hear me, Larry? Aren't you going to say anything back to me?" "You're welcome. Your mother doesn't think it's a good idea that we hang around each other. I don't think it is either." "I think it is. In fact, I'm sure it is. I'm almost sixteen too now, and I'm old enough to know what I want. My mother says she only wants for me to be happy, Larry. I love you. I know you can't believe that, not after everything that has happened, but it has always just been you. I stayed away so that you wouldn't always have to be reminded about the bad things I've done. I never once stopped loving you. I've gone to the doctor twice a week, ever since you walked away from me. I understand more about the things I did, and the reasons why. I've always been afraid, Larry. Afraid that I didn't deserve you, or to have you love me. I'm still afraid of that, but now, I know it's only my fear, and I know I don't have to give in to it, to try to make you turn away from me. Larry, I've made love to you, in my mind, ever since I was eleven years old. I'm not going to change, and just stop loving you now. Not after everything we've already gone through. I've tried giving you up, but it doesn't work. Time doesn't make it any better. Kate says it's the same for you. If it is, why should we both keep fighting it, and being miserable?" "Clara, please go home now. I'll think about what you said, I promise. I'm just not ready to deal with everything all at once like this. I already know how I feel about you, and so do you. If it was just whether or not I loved you, it wouldn't be a hard decision for me to make. It isn't just that, and I do need to think about a lot of things. If we do have any chance, it might only be one more. It's too important to waste it on yet another false start. I need to work things out in my own head before I can tell you about what I think." There was a silence then. I didn't hear anything outside my door. I reviewed in my mind all of the things that Clara had said to me. Only one seemed important, 'I love you'. She was at least right about one thing, we both had done a lot of things to keep from deserving the other. Or, maybe, we had each kept doing things so that, no matter what the other one did, we were still relatively equal. If it was that, I didn't want to play that game anymore. I was tired of comparing other girls to Clara, or judging each good or bad thing that happened to me, against something, good or bad, that had taken place with Clara. If she was always going to be so interwoven into the fabric of my life as she had been, and still was, why not just admit it, and try to make something good from it all? I was tired of always trying to run away to something better, when I was really running away from the best thing I'd ever found. "You can come out now Larry, she's gone home. I just wish you two could see how stupid you both are acting. It might make a little sense if you both didn't love each other so much, but you do. And, you can't know how much it hurts me to admit that to you. I love Clara more than you ever will, but she has decided on you. Plus, I love her all the time, and always have." "I never said you didn't love her, Kate. I'm not so sure it's more than me though, but that isn't important. I never minded about you and Clara doing things. I could never be jealous of you." "I've been jealous of you, Larry. All these years. You never even tried to get her to love you, and I've done everything I could do, and she still loves you more. You don't know what that's like, or how many times I've wished that I could be you, so that I could give Clara everything she wants." "I was always willing to share her with you, Kate. I never wanted you to be left out. I felt bad for you when Clara said she only wanted to be friends with you. It was better for me with Lisa and Rita because you were there, sharing it with me." "Really, you felt that way too? When Lisa got in the back with me, she was so ready. Hotter than she'd ever been before. With her though, I didn't feel jealous." "You never loved her." "Well, I do love Clara, and so this hurts me. I want you to go over there and be with her, Larry. Make her happy, even if she won't let me make her happy too." "I'm not ready to do that. I might never be ready for that. I need to figure out why I keep making the same mistakes. I used to think it was only you that did that, but now I know it wasn't. When you love somebody, you need to try to give your best, and I've never done that. I'm not sure I can do that. I'm also worried that my best isn't good enough. There isn't any way to measure it. You just have to try your best, then hope that it's good enough. To me, that seems like a pretty big gamble." "Larry, you don't need to make a pledge in blood. All she wants is for you to tell her you still love her. Even if you two have a big fight after that, and you probably will, if she knows you still love her, you can still work it out. Even if you don't work it out, isn't something now better than nothing ever?" "Let me think, Kate. You keep trying to make me decide things your way. I'd rather think, and then decide, my way." ------- Chapter 52 I waited until Saturday morning before I called her. I was home alone all day Friday, but I was too busy thinking about things to be bothered with actually talking to anyone. I was taking a mental inventory of the past two or three years. It wasn't an easy thing for me to do, because there was a lot for me to look at, and to be ashamed of. I had always given in to opportunity and temptation. More than that, I had gone out of my way to create these opportunities. If it felt good, I wanted to try it. I had many memories stored up inside my head, and I separated them into lots of different piles, like my mother did with her business receipts. She did it to make it easier for her to fudge on her taxes. I was doing it to try to see if it might be possible to clear up a large enough opening so that I could hope to build some kind of a foundation for Clara and I to build on and be with each other. I knew, just because of the way we were, that there had to be a very solid foundation, if our love was ever going to survive our two temperaments. Both of us had shown an amazing unwillingness to walk down any path that wasn't of our own choosing. I knew it wasn't going to be an easy task, but I also knew that changes needed to be made. I had one pile of memories that consisted of all the times that I could remember when I was really happy. Most of these memories were when I was doing something. Riding my bike, playing football, pitching a baseball, paying my parents back the last of the money for my vandalism after working hard all summer. Simple things, selfish things, all of them having more to do with me being carefree, than with any pleasure of accomplishment or athletic competition. I didn't remember a single happy moment that I had really shared with anyone else. I had my sad pile too. It was big and complicated. Complicated because there were so many different degrees of sadness. There was the sadness for when my grandmother died. I'd never met her, but I saw the effect the news had on my mother. I was only seven years old, but I'd never seen anyone I loved be so unhappy, so devastated. I hadn't understood death, but I could feel my mother's anguish, and that is what made it so real to me. When Skippy, our dog, ran out into the street and got run over, I experienced the direct sadness of losing a loved one. My father's leaving for that time before Kate was sent to Hungary. When I found out that Clara had tried to kill herself. Kate writing those letters when she first got to Hungary. Finding out that Kate and Clara had gone all the way with those boys. Doing this inventory wasn't accomplishing anything, other than depressing me, making my task seem hopeless, and making me feel incapable of doing what I knew needed to be done. It wasn't going to be possible, not if I tried to sort through my memories in search of the answer. When I concentrated on only the memories I shared with Clara, that too seemed like a pathway that moved from one failure to the next. We had never managed a good relationship for long. You can't really examine a feeling. I loved Clara. There is nothing tangible to hold on to. No memory that I can look back on and say that this is what defines my love for her. About the only thing I could look back on and point to, was the fact that my love never ended for her. No matter how much I willed it to end. No matter how many times I attempted to kill it with my own actions. I managed to hide my love, but I couldn't destroy it. I knew there was something there even when I tried to deny it to myself. By the time I got around to looking closely at the dynamics of my relationship with Clara, I could plainly see that there was a reason why she and I kept coming back to each other. That reason was Kate. I was linked to Kate by family, and Clara was linked to her by their love and close friendship. Clara and I were brought together by Kate, and were being thrown back into contact again only because of Kate. With Kate out of the equation, Clara and I would be only distant memories in each others past history. Because of Kate, we kept being thrown back into contact. There was no denying that we both had an attraction for the other, but it hadn't been enough to survive on its own. It needed Kate to rekindle it. That was what Kate had been trying to tell me when she had said that she loved Clara much more than I did. She was trying to give Clara to me only because now Clara didn't want her, and she couldn't bear to not still have her around, even if it meant that Clara would be mine. That was why she wanted to be me. It felt right to me, that it was all Kate. I remembered Kate and Clara together, before any of the troubles got started. during the two years before I ever got interested in girls. In all of that time, the two of them never once had a fight, or even an argument. At least none that I ever saw or heard about. It was only after Kate started getting me involved with Clara. Why did she do that? She loved Clara, so why would she want to have her involved with someone else? She didn't, that was the only answer that made any sense. It had to have come from Clara. Kate just went along with it because she had no other choice. No choice that wouldn't take Clara away from her. If that was true, what about Bill? Or Keith and Leon and those other boys? What was Kate doing then? There had to be an explanation for that. Was it Clara's doing? I heard Kate coming in the house and glanced over at my alarm clock. It was four ten already. I had been sitting around all day trying to get something clarified in my head, and was no closer to an answer than I was before I started. Kate came by and knocked at my door. "Larry, can I come in?" "Not now, Kate, I'm right in the middle of something. I still need to be alone." "If you keep trying to think about everything, Clara's going to think you don't love her." "Maybe she should think that. I've been thinking about everything, and I don't see how it could work out for us." "It has to Larry. You both love each other so much." "Maybe that isn't what it seems. Maybe all of this is about you." "You're crazy!" "Maybe, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. Tell me what happened before you started messing around with Keith and Leon." "School started. What do you mean?" "What about Bill?" "What about him?" "How come you started kissing him at my party? You hadn't shown any interest in boys before that." "He kissed me. I was interested before that. Clara and I talked about boys all the time." "Kate, I don't believe you." "We did." "I think Clara was interested in boys. I think you only pretended to be interested." "That's not true. We were both interested." "I think you were afraid of losing Clara if you didn't pretend to be interested too. I think only Clara was experimenting with girls. You weren't experimenting, it was girls for you all along." "You're lying, Larry. I liked boys as much as Clara did." "If Clara loved you the same way you love her, would you even bother to look at another boy?" There was silence by my door. I felt her out there. I could tell she was panicking. "Kate, you know you wouldn't. It's Clara you love. If it wasn't Clara, it would be some other girl. I think I've known that for a long time, but I couldn't ever figure out why you did those things with Bill and those other boys." "I wasn't sure until after Bill and Keith. I was losing her, and I loved her so much. I hoped she'd see how much better it was with me, because I loved her so much. It would have worked to, if you hadn't always been around. She used to love what we did together, but now she doesn't even want me to touch her. She says it isn't healthy to want to do things together. Now, she only wants to be with you." "I wish I could help you Kate. I know that you love her, and this is really hard on you. The way things are, I think it would be better for both of us if we stopped seeing Clara. She isn't ever going to want the same thing you do, and she and I would never work out. I'm sorry." "You already decided, Larry? She loves you, and you love her too. Why can't you at least try?" "Because I love you, Kate. You're my sister, and I couldn't be happy if you weren't happy too. It would eat you up to see me with Clara all the time." "That isn't true. At least then I'd see her. She's talking about going back to live with her father now. If she does that, I'll lose her for sure, Larry. Maybe, after she does it with you, she'll realize that it's better with me." "Maybe. You already know that she doesn't just want to be with you. It won't ever turn out the way you want it to." "Have you really made up your mind?" "I think so, but I still need to think about it some more." "You'd be making a big mistake, Larry. Even if it wouldn't work out, you'd never be sure, and neither would she, unless you tried it." "It wouldn't work. Maybe it's better if we don't know that for certain." I went out to eat my supper at six thirty. Kate kept looking at me all through the meal, but she didn't speak. We both knew that I was making my final decision, and that I'd make it alone. I was going to have to live with this decision for a long time, and I didn't want to make it having been influenced by outside factors. I already knew why Kate wanted me to give it another try with Clara. I didn't know why Clara wanted to give it another try with me. I was in bed before nine, but sleep didn't come fast or easy. I had essentially decided when I was talking with Kate. The only thing that kept me from acting on that decision already, was my fear of cutting that last tiny strand of connection with Clara. For a long time, in spite of how unrealistic my plan actually was, I had believed that Clara and I would find a way to be together, somehow, in the future. Even when I kept trying to get her out of my thoughts, I still retained this hope. Had I ever examined it, anywhere along the way, that hope would have died. The truth was that I was satisfied with just having some small amount of unexamined hope. It comforted me, and made some of my other decisions somehow more palatable to me. Now, as I prepared to relinquish that hope, I knew I would miss having something with Clara to look forward to. I liked the idea of Clara and me. The reality might be impossible, but the idea was pleasant and comforting to me. When you are sixteen, and still enough of a child that your whole universe centers around you, the concept of sacrifice doesn't come naturally to you. I felt like I understood that someone was going to have to sacrifice, and even though Kate was offering to, I didn't think her sacrifice would help any of us. I needed to sever that final strand, and then let the situation play itself out. Saturday morning I got up early, and walked over to Clara's house. I rang her door bell before eight. Her mother answered the door, definitely not happy when she saw that it was me. "Do you know what time it is, Larry?" I looked at my watch. "Why are you here?" "I told Clara I'd come talk to her when I was ready. I'm ready." "What do the two of you have to talk about?" "Our future." "Together?" "That's what we need to talk about." "This can't keep until a decent hour? It has to be now?" "I'm going to tell her that I don't want for us to get back together." "Come inside. Wait right here, Larry. I'll go get her. You're making the right decision. Don't leave. It won't be very long. I'll just wake her up so you can tell her. I'll even leave you alone so you can tell her in private." It took five minutes, but Clara came out wearing a robe. It looked like she'd taken the time to brush her hair and wash her face. "Hi Larry. Its early. My mom said you needed to see me right away?" I smiled at her and led her over to the sofa. when we sat down, I held both of her hands in mine. "First, I want you to know that I do love you, and I guess I probably always will. But, mostly, I love the idea of you. I don't even know you that well, only through Kate. Kate really loves you. Not the idea of you, but all of you. I kept trying to come up with some way that you and I could be together, but I couldn't think of one. That's when I realized that what we really had in common, and shared, was that we both loved Kate. We were both big parts of Kate's life, you more than me." "No. Larry, I love you. It isn't just an idea with me. I've always loved you." "Clara, when did you get to know me so well that you loved me? Tell me, because I don't remember that time. I guess I knew you had a crush on me, but that isn't love. Right now, sitting here, I really do love you, and not just the idea, but, when I leave, it shifts right back to just me loving the idea of you. You can't stay in front of someone all the time." "We just need more time together. You'll see." "This is all centering around Kate, Clara. I can't take Kate's place, and she can't take mine. I can't love you like she does. I can't give you the same attention that she wants to. I'm not sure why you decided that you don't want Kate's love, but I know that my love for you couldn't exist without hers, not for any length of time. It never has." "Why do you keep saying it's about Kate? Didn't I show you that I picked you over her? What if I stop being friends with her?" "You have to decide that Clara, but it won't make any difference either way. Without Kate we wouldn't have gotten together at all. You were always her friend, and I was always her brother. Even if you stop being her friend, I'd still always be her brother. I told you before that I had a lot of thinking to do. Kate wanted us together because you told her you were going back to live with your dad, and she didn't want to lose you again like before. She is willing to give you up as long as she still gets to see you sometimes. Now, you're willing to give her up for me, and I'm willing to give you up for her." "You don't love me like you said. Not if you will just give me up like that." "That's what I decided. If I did love you like I'm supposed to, I'd never be able to give you up. I can give you up, and I can still love the idea of you. The only thing I can't figure out is what to do when I'm right here in front of you." "What do you want to do?" "You know." "I want the same thing. You always promised me that you would." "That was when I thought we'd always be together. It wouldn't be the same now. I don't want to say goodbye that way." "Do you want to? I do. I want it more than anything."Clara got up and went to knock on her mother's door. I got up too, with the idea of leaving. "Don't leave. I just need to ask my mother something." Mrs. Townsend opened her bedroom door and Clara whispered something to her. He mother looked at me, and shook her head no. I was pretty sure about what Clara had asked her. Clara started talking some more, but no matter what she said, her mother's head still kept shaking negatively. Clara said something else to her and then went over to her own bedroom, and slammed the door closed behind her. Clara's mom looked at me with a look of total loathing on her face. She started walking towards me. "Don't worry I'm leaving. I did what I told you I'd do. That other thing wasn't my idea." "Shut up, Larry. Did you bring any condoms? I can't believe I'm standing here asking you that question. I'm going to let you two go into Clara's bedroom and finish, once and for all, this business that you have been promising her, and then you leave, and never try to contact her again." "No." "She says she'll leave if I don't let her. Isn't this what you've been after all this time?" "Not this way. Maybe this is what Clara's been after. I told you this wasn't my idea. I'm leaving. Tell her I still love the idea of her." I left their house and walked back over to mine. I walked past my parents sitting together in the kitchen and walked over to Kate's bedroom and opened her door. I went over and crawled into bed with her. When she woke up from all the moving around, I took her in my arms and held her. I told her what had happened, leaving out Clara's offer to give her up for me. She started crying and tried to hit me for not doing what she wanted me to do. I held her, and hugged her to me. I started crying too, but I wouldn't let her go. After a short time, she quit trying to pummel me, and just lay there, crying softly. At some point, one of my parents came by and saw what was happening, and decided to just close the door, and leave us alone together. Kate and I started talking again, and I could hear how much anguish she was feeling. I knew that this wasn't something that she would just be able to bounce right back from. After awhile, we stopped talking and just lay together quietly. I must have fallen asleep right after that. When I woke up, Kate wasn't on the bed anymore. I had to pee, and that's probably why I woke up. I washed my face off with cold water, after peeing, and went out to the kitchen to see if there was anything ready for lunch. I heard my dad banging away on something down in the basement, and then saw my mother standing in front of the stove in the kitchen. "Anything to eat? Where's Kate?" "Lunch will be ready in fifteen minutes. Katinka is down in the basement, talking to your papa. She is so sad, Laurant." "I know she is. She really loves Clara." "Do you think she will only have girls as her special friends?" "I think so. I don't think she's ever liked boys." "And what of Clara? Will we be seeing more of her?" "I don't think so." "Are you as sad as Katinka?" "No. I'm mostly sad for Kate. Mine was over a long time ago. I just couldn't ever admit it was over, and let it go." "You must be extra special nice to your sister, Laurant. Help her to get over this, without any new problems for us to deal with." I went into the living room, to watch some television. There wasn't anything good on. We ate lunch together, and my father kept trying to be funny to cheer Kate up. She kept pretending to laugh at his antics, not wanting to hurt his feelings. I finished as quickly as I could, and then asked my mother if I could borrow her car that evening. When she asked me the reason, I told her that Kate and I wanted to go to the movies at the drive in. "Why the drive in?" "You think I want people knowing that I couldn't get a date, and had to take my own sister to the movies?" "If it is with your sister, I guess it is all right." I left soon after, telling my mother that I was going over to the park. Instead, I walked over to Clara's house and rang the doorbell. For once, Clara answered, and I told her to get her coat, so we could go for a walk. I saw her mother in the hallway looking at me with distrust. A minute later, Clara came back to the door and we left. She hadn't said a word to her mother. "Where are we going, Larry?" "For a walk. Are you moving back with your father?" "Probably, I haven't decided for sure." "Why did you quit doing stuff with Kate?" "I don't know. I guess because it didn't seem right, and because I thought it was bad for you and me. It was just something I did when I was younger. I haven't done that in a long time. I'm not that way." "Kate's that way." "I know that. It was always more important to her than it was to me. I liked it, and it felt good. It made my tingles a lot better, but I still loved you. It was something to do until you would notice me and start loving me back." "You never loved Kate, that way?" "I guess I did. Probably until that time with you in my bedroom. After, I knew that it was better with you. Did you bring me out in the cold to just talk about Kate? And what I did as a kid?" "No. I brought you out here to ask you some questions. Which I've been doing. Do you know why I didn't want to do it with you this morning?" "Because you don't really love me?" "No. Because you don't love Kate. If you loved Kate, then I'd love you." "Isn't that perverted, like incest or something?" "Maybe. All I know is that it makes me hot to think of you two doing it together. I've seen other girls licking each other, and it isn't as good as just thinking about you and Kate doing it. I've seen Kate doing it with another girl, but it still wasn't as good as thinking about you and her doing it. I'd like to watch you two doing it. I'd like to do it with you, and then have you and Kate do it together after." "Did Kate ask you to tell me this?" "No, she doesn't even know a thing about it. I've never told her about thinking these thoughts. I wouldn't want you to do it if you were going to hate it, neither would Kate." "Is that why you never seemed jealous of Kate and me together?" "Probably. I think Kate gets hot when she sees me with a girl too. Remember the carrot that time? That was an awfully wet carrot." "My mom would never agree to let all three of us go into my room." "You have to answer me about whether you'd hate doing it with Kate again." "Are you going to do it with her too?" "No. Never! I'd just do it with you. We could try it once and see what everyone thinks. If one of us doesn't like it, then we just quit." "You're just going to share me with Kate?" "I'm offering you something, maybe a chance for all three of us to get what we want. It's up to you to decide if you're interested. One thing I can promise you, if you agree to try it, you'll be getting my dick in you. You might not like it, but at least you'll know." "Before I did anything with Kate?" "I'm planning on taking Kate to the drive in tonight. If you come, we'll all sit together in the backseat. If you don't come, Kate and I will sit in the front and watch the movies. Are you asking because you'd rather not do anything with Kate?" "You really wouldn't mind or get mad?" "I never did before. Both of us can give you tingles. I just hoped that you wanted to do it with Kate, and only stopped because of wanting me." "Can I lick her too, or only her doing me?" "No, you can lick her. In fact, I wanted to do you from behind, while you did that to her." "I'm not like you, Larry. I get jealous. Kate's more like me, and she'll get jealous too." "Nobody is going to get everything they want. Kate already said it to me. 'Something now is better than nothing ever.' I don't know how I'm going to feel later, but right now, it's a lot better than I felt this morning." "Suppose my mother finds out what we're doing?" "Tell her it's either that, or you go stay with your father." "What about your parents?" "All my life they've told me I need to learn to share better with my sister. Besides, if anyone finds out, it will be my mother. I doubt she'd ever tell my father." "Suppose I start liking Kate better than you? It could happen if we get started up again." "It could happen, but I doubt it. There's only one way to find out, and I'm willing to take the risk of that happening." "I wanted our first time to be romantic, Larry, just the two of us." "Nobody is going to get everything they want. I wanted things to be different too, but this way we all get something." "Can I think about it? I want to do it with you. I wish we could do that first, and then decide about trying this other thing. It won't be the same with Kate there. I've dreamed about the two of us for so long, and then you come up with this, even before we've ever done it together." I looked at my watch. It was one thirty five. It would take me ten minutes to walk back to Clara's house with her. From the way she was talking, I figured there was at least a four out of five chance that she would do it with me once, and then decide not to go out with Kate and me later. Maybe her way was for the best. I didn't want Kate to have to deal with a lukewarm, or even a resentful Clara. "Let's go back to your house and do it like you wanted to this morning. When I'm done, I'll just leave. Tonight, at five thirty, I'll stop by your house, on my way to the movies with Kate. If you decide to go, you be waiting out front. If you decide not to go with us, just don't be in front. I won't even tell Kate, so she won't be disappointed." The look on Mrs. Townsend's face, as well as the change in her attitude, made my decision seem worthwhile to me. When she found out that this might mean that Clara was going to keep on living with her, I swear she almost offered us the use of her bed. We went into Clara's room, and both of us got undressed. I spent a long time kissing her, and trying to make her relaxed. She only had a single bed, so things were a bit cramped for us. By the time I managed to get her relaxed, I started getting nervous. I felt like I was getting ready to put on an important performance. I knew I loved Clara more than I'd let on to her, but there was a lot riding on her not being disappointed with me. I started licking her breasts. They had certainly grown larger. They weren't quite in her mom's range yet, but they were heading in that direction. By the time I reached her pussy, I was feeling a lot more confident. It tasted uniquely like my Clara. I'd wondered about that. She started reacting like she had before, except now, she was bigger and stronger, and it was harder to keep her in place, and still try to keep her quiet. Once again, I decided to not bother with keeping her quiet. I didn't want her passing out on me again, and I also didn't want her ripping out two clumps of my hair, as she was seemingly intent on doing by the way she had me gripped tightly with both her hands. I slowed my efforts down until she loosened her grip. She had two orgasms while I licked her, the first was a small one, but the second was a pretty strong one. I figured that she was as ready as she would be now. She was certainly relaxed. I already had the condom in my hand, and it was no trouble to tear off the wrapping and unroll it onto my dick. Clara watched me, her eyes narrowed while I got the condom in place. I leaned up so that my weight was balanced on my right forearm, and began rubbing my dick up and down her slit. This time, when I moved it into position, instead of stopping me, Clara raised herself up off of the mattress and helped to impale herself. It took some time to work it all in her. We were kissing and it was as much her doing as it was anything that I did. She didn't quite get it all, but she didn't miss taking it by much. After about fifty more strokes, I felt her pubic bone and mine touching each other. I was all the way in now. I started a slower, more circular, movement, trying to find the correct contact points to give her maximum stimulation. Again she helped by raising up her hips and then adjusting her position as I started long dicking her. This was something I'd learned with both Karen and Denise. They both liked long, slow strokes the best. Once they got to a certain point, they didn't care that much about how I went, but they got to that point from the long and slow stroking that took place before. It seemed to have pretty much the same effect on Clara. she would lower her hips on the out stroke and them raise them up for the in stroke. In a while, she started being more hurky jerky in her movements, until I knew she was getting close, and all she wanted was maximum pressure everywhere. That's what she got, too. I started pounding into her, taking shorter but harder strokes, and grinding myself against her when I hit bottom. So much for the physical part of it. Not really that much different from what I'd felt with the other girls. I'd never found a pussy that wasn't tight, and wet, and extremely pleasant to be in. Clara's was certainly no exception. Clara was an exception in one other respect though. I was having an emotional response to her. I found myself focused not on her body, and on the physical enjoyment of our union, but on the person that I was sharing myself with. I looked at her, knowing that my eyes were revealing to her something that my lips never had. Something my dick couldn't communicate. When I looked at her eyes, I understood that she was also communicating something to me. I quit my pounding action, and went back to a simpler rhythm, a rhythm dictated by the beating of our hearts. I changed not only the cadence, but the purpose as well. We both started straining, trying to postpone the explosion that was welling up inside us. It was physical, there is no denying that, but it was more than physical. It started in my balls, but it was affected by my brain, my heart, and whatever spiritual substance there is that makes us more than animals. I poured myself into her. The rubber contained my sperm, but not any of the rest of it. I managed to transfer my love to her, and she did the same to me. Neither of us swooned or lost consciousness, but we both were profoundly shaken, in any case. We continued to stare at each other, not mindful of the time that passed, neither of us wanting or needing to communicate with words. I did manage to reach down and grab my rubber, and pull the contents out and away from any possible accidents. I couldn't hold my position anymore, not without risking collapsing right onto her, so I lifted myself up and off of her. I opened her bedroom door, the rubber visible in my right hand, and walked over to her bathroom. I looked into the living room and saw Clara's mother sitting in her chair, facing away from us. I disposed of the rubber, and used a wash cloth to clean myself up as well as I could. I went back into Clara's room and got dressed. She smiled at me, but said nothing. When I was dressed and standing at her open door ready to leave, I finally broke our silence. "I love you, Clara. Not the idea of you. I don't think that I can share you now. Certainly not, if it's like that with you and Kate." "Can we still go to the movies tonight? I need to speak to Kate again." I nodded to her, and then I left, shutting her door behind me. "Are you finished with her now?" Mrs. Townsend asked me in a quiet voice. She didn't sound hostile any longer. "No. Now I know how much I love her." "Does she feel the same for you?" "I hope so, but you'll have to ask her that yourself." I left throught the front door, taking pains to make sure it was completely shut before I stepped off the porch steps. The walk home was very different from the walk to Clara's house. I'd gone there to make a sacrifice, but I'd left there possessed by love. I didn't know how Kate was going to accept the idea of Clara and I being really together. ------- Chapter 53 It was after three when I got back home. I was starting to get over the shock of my strong emotional reaction with Clara. It was almost like there were two separate parts to it. The first part had been the sex, physically satisfying, everything I'd hoped it would be. That was pretty much what I'd expected. The emotional connection was very unexpected. Never having experienced that before, it was somewhat overwhelming. I wondered if it would always be a part of our lovemaking. It scared me a little, mostly because it threw all of my plans right out the window. I was no longer bartering with Kate's friend, someone who I loved only the idea of. I didn't know if I could stand to share Clara now, not even with Kate. I knew, from earlier conversations with Kate, that she felt that strong emotional connection already with Clara. Clara hadn't come right out and admitted feeling as strongly about Kate, but there were lots of indications that she had felt that connection before. Did I want to risk what was possible for Clara and me by bringing Kate back into the mix? Did I really have a choice? Just because Clara and I had finally clicked emotionally together, did that make my earlier decision any less valid, or Kate's need any less compelling? Clara had already said that she needed to talk with Kate again. Suppose she planned on accepting Kate as a lover again? Where would that decision leave me emotionally? Could I accept it just as I had planned on earlier? It had never bothered me before, I'd felt competitive at times with Kate for Clara, but never jealous of their love, or their loving. I realized that the final decision was out of my hands now. I'd opened up the possibility by asking Clara to share herself with both Kate and me. I needed to stop trying to think of every possible permutation of this, and just allow it to resolve itself by what Clara decided. I could only decide on what I would do after Clara and Kate had resolved what their future relationship was going to be. I walked in the door, and the first thing I heard was Kate's happy laughter as she spoke on the phone in the kitchen. She looked at me as I returned from behind the closet, where I'd just finished putting my coat away. There was a smile on her face, even though she was wiping tears from her cheeks. I heard her speak into the phone. "Just a minute. Hold on, okay?" She put the receiver down, and came over to give me a big hug. "That's Clarabelle. She's not moving back with her father. She's going to the movies with us tonight! Thank you, Larry. I know you only changed your mind for me." I had started out with the idea of bargaining with Clara to get her to stay and be a part of Kate's life. It hadn't ended up like that though. In the end, I'd been forced to change my goals considerably. I didn't get a chance to tell Kate any of this, because she ran right back to the phone, and then she and Clara were once again lost inside their own conversation. I went back to my room to get changed, and then I went to the bathroom, taking myself a nice, long, relaxing shower. I spent most of that time reliving my experience with Clara, trying to understand why it had been so different making love to her. After I came out, I got dressed and went out to the kitchen, trying to get something to eat before we left for the movies. My mother had already fixed me a plate of cold cut sandwiches, and a big scoop of her macaroni salad. "How did you fix things with Clara, Laurant? Katinka is so happy right now. Is she going to stay happy?" "I don't know if fixed is the right word, Anyu. I tried to make a deal that included Kate. Now, I think it might have been a mistake. In the end, Kate might be unhappy again, or else maybe I will." "Will this depend on who Clara chooses to be her special friend? If it does depend on that, Laurant, you must be the one who steps away. For you, another girl will serve just as well. For your sister, there may not be so many choices." I looked at my mother. It wasn't like her to take such a firm position about something that she couldn't possibly understand all the different sides to. I wondered whether Kate had spoken to her of what had been taking place. If she had, that represented a real change from Kate's regular policy. I heard the shower turning off, and looked at my watch. It was going to be tight for us to make it over to Clara's by five thirty. I'm not sure why I said anything to my mother. I guess I was already feeling a little bit on the defensive. "Clara likes boys. I love her, a lot." My mother must have thought I was arguing with her. Her eyes narrowed down to tiny slits, and she raised a hand up until it was about breast high. For a second, I really thought she was going to slap me. We stood like that for close to a minute, and I watched my mother getting her breathing back under control. She then reached out and placed her hand gently on my face, taking her eyes back opened to a normal position. "Clara's only one girl, Katinka is your sister, she's your blood. How many times have your papa and I put up with your getting into trouble? Did we always stand by you and support you? No matter what? That is what family does. Katinka deserves no less from you now. I won't accept seeing her unhappy, just so you can boast of another conquest. I expect more of you than that. Your papa expects more as well. Tonight, you think of what is best for your family, Laurant." I went back to my bedroom, remembering to get a new rubber to replace the one that I had used earlier. I was wondering what kind of conversations Kate had been having with my parents while I had been either sleeping, or over at Clara's house. How much did they know about what had been going on? Did my father really agree with my mother? Did they really think I was going to just step aside completely? Just then, Kate was at my bedroom door, telling me that she was ready. "Should I sit in the front, Larry, or do you want me to sit in the back?" "Sit up front. Did Clara tell you for sure that she was coming?" "Yes, and she told me what the two of you did too. She also told me what you said to her to get her to come with us tonight." I had just pulled up in front of Clara's house when she came running out of her front door. She opened the front door and told Kate to get out so she could sit in the middle, next to me. Kate got out and asked Clara if she wanted her to sit in the back. Clara just slid in and moved over next to me. She then patted the empty space, and motioned for Kate to come back and shut the door. "Can we go to the lake instead of the movies, Larry? It's more private and we can all talk there." I drove to the lake and Kate and Clara talked together about what happened this afternoon. They acted like I wasn't right there listening to them. Clara made it seem like it had been just as overwhelming for her as it had been for me. I noticed that she just spoke of the physical part of our lovemaking, and this was a slight letdown for me. Maybe she wanted to keep that other part private, just between us. That is what I was hoping. Once we got to the lake and I had parked, I looked around and we were the only ones out there. Outside, the temperature was about fifteen degrees, and there was a brisk wind coming in from across the lake. It was no wonder that no one else had come out here. Clara turned to me. "Larry, I've thought about what you said about you wanting to share me with Kate. Do you still feel that way?" "Clara, you have to decide, not me. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do, but I don't want you not to have fun with Kate if that's what you would like to do." "You won't be jealous, and it won't make any difference in how you feel about me?" I wanted to scream at her not to make that decision, that it would matter, I would be jealous. If she had even once mentioned anything other than the physical act of fucking on the drive out there, I probably would have said something to let her know that I didn't want to share her. I remembered what my mother had told me, but she couldn't understand how I felt about Clara. I looked at Kate, and she was waiting on my answer, obviously hoping that I wouldn't decide to object. I looked into Clara's eyes, and I saw reflected back at me only the fact that she was horny and excited, obviously anticipating that I wouldn't be objecting to her and Kate making love. I didn't see the look that I was hoping to see. I didn't see a shred of reluctance either, and that made my decision for me. "No, go ahead, I want you to do it with her. I want to watch the two of you." I think I even managed a smile as I told her that. No sooner had I said that then the two of them had the front door opened and they both got out, and jumped into the back seat together. In not time flat, they were kissing, and rubbing themselves all over each other. I had adjusted the rear view mirror so that I could watch them, without having to turn my head and look. They were soon tearing off each others clothing, in spite of the cold, and exploring each other with their tongues. Instead of this making me excited, watching them, it had an opposite effect. After a few short minutes, I had to stop looking at them altogether. I could hear them though, as they both coaxed each other to do this or that to one area or another. They sure seemed like they were excited, both of them hungry for the other. When it seemed like they just had to be finished, they would rest in each others arms for a few minutes, and then start up all over again. At one point, Kate was sitting up on her knees, straddling Clara's face, and looking out the rear window as she bucked and twisted her pussy over Clara's mouth. I turned to watch then, concerned that she was going to smother Clara. I finally totally lost my composure when Kate turned her head so that she was looking right at me. The look she gave me then was the very same one I remembered from before my father sent her to Hungary. She was gloating about this, letting me know that this was her victory over me. I swung back around on the seat, and started the engine on my mother's car. In the near silence of the car, the engine starting up caused Clara to push Kate's leg away. "Larry, why are you starting the car? We're not finished yet, and I want you to do it to me again. Kate wants to watch you doing it to me, too. I told her she could watch you doing me." Clara was upset. She was just getting really aroused and into it, and didn't want it to end. I didn't even bother to answer her. I put the car in gear, and started driving away. The two of them were left to scramble around back there, putting their clothing back on, as the car moved over the uneven dirt road, and they were jounced around. By the time we got to my parents house, both girls were screaming at me. I parked, got out of the car, walking quickly into my house. My mother looked at my face, and asked me what was wrong. My father asked me why we had come back so soon from the movies. I didn't answer either of them, instead, walking straight back to my room and going in. I shut the door, but I didn't bother to lock it. I knew my father could open it from the outside, even if I had locked it. Five minutes later, I heard my mother talking to Kate out in the living room. In another minute, Kate was in her bedroom, and I heard her door closing rather firmly. I found out that, whatever Kate had told my parents, they had decided not to question me anymore about anything that happened the night before. I begged off from going to church in the morning, and my mother didn't put up much of a fight to get me to go with them. Kate tried to do the same thing, but my parents did force her to go with them. I stayed in my room until after they left for church. As soon as they were gone, I put on my coat and walked over to Clara's house. She came to the door like she had been expecting me. When she invited me in, I didn't waste any time, getting right down to the reason why I'd come over. "That thing we talked about yesterday, it isn't going to work out for me. I thought I could do that, but I can't." "I wondered if you could or not. Kate warned me that you wouldn't be able to. I hoped that you would." "If you were anyone else, it wouldn't bother me. I hoped last night that it wouldn't, but it did." "What do we do now? Are you just going to want to stop seeing me?" "No, not unless that's what you want. I just don't want to see you when you're with Kate like that. I don't mind you and her doing that, I just can't stand to watch it. Where's your mother?" "She went to a meeting. Part of the arrangement we made for me to come back and stay here with her, was for her to get some help with her drinking. She won't be back for awhile. Do you want to do it with me now?" "Sure. In fact, that's what I came over for." We both got up and went into her bedroom. It didn't take long for the two of us to get undressed, and I was just as careful, thoughtful, and considerate this time, getting her prepared, as I had been the time before. This time, I really tried my best to lick her pussy for maximum physical response. She came, a few times, but not like that time that she had passed out. When I put my rubber on and mounted her, I fucked her nice, right up until the point where she started moving around impatiently beneath me. Then, I really started pounding into her, slamming in and out with all my strength. I made it a point not to pause and look into her eyes this time. I lasted for a long time, longer than ever before, and through it all, Clara built up to a higher level than when I did it to her that first time. She was thrashing around beneath me, calling my name, and yelling out her encouragement that I continue just like I was doing it. I felt her seize up, her pussy clamping down on my dick in spasm, but I didn't even let that slow me down. Instead, I buried myself as deep as I could, and ground my pubic bone down against her sensitive clit until I couldn't hold back from shooting my load deep inside her. When I was finally finished cumming, I lifted back off of her, noticing as I did so, that her look of angelic innocence had once again returned. She was out to the world. I tied the end of my rubber in a knot, and got myself dressed and walked back home. When Kate got home with my parents, I was in the living room watching television. As she passed by me, Kate once again gave me her victory smirk on her way to her room. I smiled back at her as she went by. In less than a minute, I heard her scream, and I knew she had found my note, and the little present that I'd left behind for her. She came running past again, this time in too much of a hurry to give me her smirk. She wanted to hurry over to her girlfriend's house to find out if what I'd written was true. When she had gone to her bedroom, she had found my rubber sitting on her pillow, on top of a piece of paper. On the paper I had writtien: DON'T BE SO SMUG, KATE. RIGHT NOW OUR GIRLFRIEND IS LYING IN HER BED AT HOME, PASSED OUT AGAIN FROM THE STRONG TINGLE THAT I JUST GAVE HER. I CAN HAVE HER WHENEVER I CHOOSE. On Monday morning I stopped off on my way to school to buy a one pound box of chocolates. I put them in my locker when I got to school. When lunchtime came, I went to the cafeteria and sought out the table where Clara was sitting. I could tell when I approached it, the candy held in front of me, that Clara was ready to give me a piece of her mind over the dirty trick I had played on my sister. I knew she would forgive me. She didn't know anyone else who could make her tingle so good that she'd pass out. Clara was all about the great tingle, that was her main interest. I stood at the table, a confident smile on my face. "Hi Miriam, I bought you these chocolates, as an apology for being such a jerk last Thursday. I was hoping that you'd please forgive me, and maybe give me another chance to take you out. If you do, I promise that I'll treat you a whole lot nicer than before." I looked at Miriam, but I couldn't help looking at Clara too. She didn't look too happy, and I didn't care. Miriam was smiling, and ripping the cellophane off of her chocolates. I watched as she took out a piece of candy and licked it all over, lasciviously, before offering it to me. I licked it too, then took a bite of half of it and brought the rest to her mouth. She opened wide, and I put the half of a chocolate inside her mouth. She sucked my fingers before I could remove them. I turned and walked away. I couldn't wait to hear from Kate about how Clara had reacted to what I'd just done. From the look on Clara's stunned face when I finally pulled my wet fingers out of Miriam's mouth, I thought Clara was going to be wanting her own box of chocolates soon. I wondered if she'd want both Kate and me to feed them to her I loved Clara, and she would continue to be a big part of my adolescence, but I was through with trying to pretend that she was little Miss Perfect, or that Kate and I were two lesser beings, lucky just to find ourselves in her company. As much as Kate and I, Clara was a creature of her appetites. I had a strong feeling, that once I took her down off of her pedestal, that all three of us were going to be able to get along together much better in the future. I wondered whether Kate and Clara would want to double with Miriam and me. I doubted that they would immediately, but I wondered how Kate would like watching Clara and me while sitting in back with Miriam. My dick got hard, just from thinking about it. I walked through the food line, filling the tray with my lunch. When I got to the cashier, I looked up, surprised to see that it was someone new, a really cute girl, no more than eighteen or nineteen years old. She was a vast improvement over the old cashier. I handed her my dollar, smiling as I adjusted my jeans in front of her. I stood there, patiently waiting for my change, and thinking that it was great to be sixteen. ------- Chapter 54 A funny thing happened with Clara over the next two weeks. She started to adjust herself to having to deal with the new idea of me being independant. I still treated her good whenever I saw her. I wasn't making any effort in seeking her out though. When she came up to me asking me questions, about why I wanted or needed to go out with Miriam, I told her that I needed something to do so I could stay busy when she and Kate wanted to spend some time alone together. I found out in a hurry that Clara was jealous, and that she didn't want to share. She wanted all my love, as well as all of Kate's. The first Friday after our meeting in the cafeteria, I took Miriam to the movies. I went over to her house early, about five o'clock. We talked, and I told her honestly that Clara was the girl that I loved. That didn't sit too well with her. She wanted to know why I said I loved Clara, and still went out with other girls. I tried to explain it to her. "Clara and I don't love each other equally, and we probably never will. I've decided to see other girls whenever I want to, and she is free to do whatever she wants to." "Do you tell her about your other dates?" "No, and I wouldn't like it if you told her about them either. Right now, I'm here with you, and that is what I want to talk about." Miriam's mom looked a lot like Miriam, just twenty years older. She was loud, and what my father would call flashy, dressing to call attention to herself. It was her who first suggested that Miriam show me her bedroom. We went in there, and after a minute, we started kissing, and I played with her titties. Within five minutes, I had my hand under her dress, and she was rubbing my dick, outside my jeans. She was right about one thing, she sure wasn't any kind of a tease. When we made our way back out to the living room, I noticed that both Miriam and her mother shared some kind of a signal, and both were smiling and nodding to each other. I didn't know if there was a Mr. Trellman or not, and Miriam had never mentioned a father to me. Just from being around Miriam's mother for a few minutes, I could see how Miriam had gotten so aggressive with boys. They both must have gone to the Mae West School of Dating. "Larry, do you mind if we leave early, and go to Frank's? My mother has a friend coming over to see her." We got into our coats and headed out the door. It was a ten minute walk to Frank's from her house, and she kept up a constant stream of chatter the whole way there. Inside Frank's, I noticed Karen already sitting with two other girls. We hadn't spoken much for awhile. She looked like she had put on a few extra pounds. I smiled at her when I went to the counter to place our food and drink order. Frank had girls who would bring your order to your table, but they made you order, and then pay, at the counter first. After ordering, I came back and sat across from Miriam. "Do you want to sit on the main floor tonight, or up in the balcony?" I figured we could go over the ground rules just to avoid any misunderstandings. "I like the balcony better, but wherever you want is okay. How come we aren't going to the drive in? Didn't your parents let you borrow their car?" I had planned on the drive in, but decided not to go there because I still didn't know how far I wanted to take things with Miriam. "I figured for a first date, we'd kind of take it slow. No big hurry is there?" "What's that supposed to mean? Does this have something to do with you and Clara? Are you going to turn out to be a big dud?" "Tell me what you were expecting tonight. Then I'll tell you what I was expecting." "You go first." "Like I said, I thought we'd take it slow. Kissing, and a little touching, getting to know each other better." "I've had a boyfriend before, Larry. I miss having a boyfriend, if you know what I mean? That's one of the reasons I picked you to go out with. Trudie said you understood how to do things for a girl. I think we already know each other good enough already." "Would you rather just go somewhere and screw me then?" "That's all right with me. Why put it off? We're still going to eat first though, right?" "Of course." I had my own key to the dance studio. I wasn't willing to bring her up to Agnes's apartment, but I knew I could screw her on the mats in the storage area. I wasn't worried about Agnes hearing us, since she was having dinner over at my house. The only problem I was having, was that I really didn't want to do anything with Miriam. There was something about her that offended my sense of, I don't know, let's call it decency, for lack of a better word. At least she was honest about what she wanted from me. I glanced over at Karen, and caught her looking at me too. She looked away, embarrassed that I'd caught her looking at me. Just then, the girl came over with our food and drink order. Karen and her two friends got up and left the restaurant. She waved to me as she passed by our table, and I waved back to her. "Why were you waving at that girl? Is she another of your girlfriends?" Miriam didn't sound too happy with me already. I felt like I was already turning out to be a big disappointment to her. I waited until the three girls were well out of earshot before I spoke. "I don't think you and I are going to get along very well, Miriam. I had hoped that we would, but I can see that we want different things. Let's just eat our meal, and then I'll take you home." "I'm not going home this early. My mom is entertaining someone. You promised me a date, Larry, so let's go to the movies, at least." That's what we did. At least the movie was pretty good. We sat down on the main floor, and I didn't try anything with her. I think she wanted me to try something so she could refuse my overtures, but I didn't give her the chance. After the movie, I walked her straight home. Unlike the walk over to Frank's, we were both silent going home. "Good night Miriam, I'm sorry we didn't get along better." "That was the worst date I've ever had. I don't know what Trudie was talking about, because she told me that I would love you." "Lucky, it was only one date. It isn't like we had to spend a lot of time getting to know each other, and then we had a big break up." "Who do you think I should go out with next? I'm really looking for a boyfriend." "Tommy Lampkin would be almost perfect for you. I don't think he's going with anyone right now either." "Trudie mentioned him too, but she said he has a real skinny one. My last boyfriend was more like you are." I looked at her, not really knowing what to suggest. I was getting cold, and I already felt like I'd been punished enough just by spending the last five plus hours with her. I wanted to go home and forget about this date. Finally, she turned and went inside. As soon as she was inside, she turned off the porch light leaving me in the dark. I walked home as quickly as I could, hating being so cold. When I got home, my father had already taken Agnes home, and he and my mother were on their way to bed. I saw a light on in Kate's room, but I didn't want to talk to her. I went in my own room and turned on the light before going back out and turning off all the other lights in the house. I was in my room, starting to get undressed, when Kate knocked on my door, softly. "Come in." "Tell me how the date went." "It was good. We had a good time." "Did you do it with her?" "No." "Really? How come? She's been telling everyone that she was going to." "It wasn't that kind of date. We talked, that's all. Well we did kiss a little before we went out to eat." "Is she a good kisser? I bet she isn't. Clara won't believe you didn't do it with her, Larry. She's been listening to Miriam all week." "All right. You can make up anything you like. I don't really care." "I was sure you were going to bring me home another souvenir, like the one from you and Clara." "You thought that was a souvenir?" "I gave it to Clara, and she's saving it." "Is she saving the note too?" "No, I'm keeping that for myself. How did you do that? Make her pass out?" "Wouldn't you just love to know my secret?" "Yes." I looked at Kate. There was a lot of desperation in that one spoken word. There were two reasons why I didn't tell her my secret. The first reason was that she would have learned how to do it herself, and then been gloating over me, every time she managed to accomplish the same thing with Clara. The other reason, the important one, was because I had no idea how I did it myself. It just seemed to happen, both times, like she blew an overloaded circuit breaker or something. I wasn't even sure I could do it again. "Well, I'm not going to teach it to you." "I want you to do it to me then, make me pass out." "That's never going to happen! Do you have any idea of what they'd do if we pulled a dumb stunt like that? Don't ever ask me something like that again." "Could you teach Clara how to do it then? She could do it to me." "I think that most girls can't cum that hard. Clara is one that can. I never did that to any of the others." "Then tell me why I can't make her do that, if you can." "I don't think you'd like the answer. I'm not even sure I'm right about it." "Is it because you have a dick?" "No. I didn't use my dick the first time I did it to her." "Is it because she loves you more than me?" Kate was looking at me anxiously. I knew that she probably thought this was the reason. "I don't think that's even true, Kate, so that couldn't be the reason for it." "Tell me then. Why are you able to do it, but I can't?" "I think Clara might respond a little bit stronger to me because I'm a boy, and she was afraid she wouldn't be able to respond to boys. Maybe in her head, it seems better if she tingles from a boy's touch. She might not feel as guilty about loving you then." "You're the only boy she's ever liked that way, Larry. She didn't like any of those other boys, not at all." "That doesn't prove anything, Kate. You're the only girl she ever tingled with. She told me that." Kate giggled. Pleased to know that Clara had told me that. "I've cum with several girls, but never came close to it with a boy." "Me too." We both laughed at that. We were starting to grow comfortable with each other again. Like we had been before all the trouble started. "I'm really serious about wanting to cum that way, Larry. I'd just like to find out what it feels like one time. Maybe, if you did that to me, I'd start to like boys." "You don't believe that for a minute, Kate. You must think you're talking to someone who doesn't know you. How often do you think of boys when you're alone, and trying to make yourself cum? I bet the answer is never?" She wouldn't look at me. "You aren't going to suddenly change, Kate. There's as much chance of that happening, as there is of me waking up some morning and thinking Tommy Lampkin is awfully cute. It isn't ever going to happen." "Sometimes, I've dreamed about you, or thought about how it would be with you and me. Sometimes when I was playing with myself. You're a boy, so that counts. I got hot that time on the couch with Bill too." She still wasn't looking at me. From the pink coloring on her face and neck, I knew she was embarrassed to tell me that. I'm pretty sure I was getting redder in the face too. "I've thought about you like that too, Kate. But that's as far as it's ever going to go. Sharing Clara is a little like that. Like when I ate that carrot you gave me, knowing where it had been just a few minutes before. Don't you ever think about things like that when you're doing things with Clara, knowing that I've done the same thing too?" "I've thought about it, but not in the same way that you're talking about. That's why I don't want you to do it better to her than I can. It's already unfair that you have that big dick, while I just have my fingers." "It doesn't have to be some kind of competition, Kate. You always try to make it a contest, and when you win, or you end up getting your way, you always have to rub that in. That's what happened that night out at the lake, and that's why I stayed home from church. I wanted to show you that I could play that game too. We both love her, Kate, but we love her a lot more than she loves either of us. I don't know how we can change that. We can either cooperate, and share her as much as we can, or we can make a big competition out of it, and then Clara will be the only one having a good time. I had a chance to keep her all to myself before, but I didn't." "If I had that chance, I would keep her to myself. How come you didn't?" "Because, it was like mom told me, Clara's just some girl, but you're my sister, we're family. As much as I care about Clara, I don't have that same connection with her that I have with you. I never missed her as much when she was gone, as I missed you when you were in Hungary." "Why won't you just give Clara to me then? There's lots of other girls for you." "For the same reason you don't want to give her to me. We both love her. If you won't agree to share her, I'm going to make her choose one of us." "She'd choose me." Kate said that, but we both knew it was only a false bravado. If she had been confident, she would have tried to force Clara's hand long before now. "Are you really willing to find that out? I am if you are, but you can't go crying to mama when you're the one left out in the cold. Clara will choose whichever one of us she thinks will give her the best tingles. Her loyalty is going to be controlled by her pussy." "She's not like that. If you think that, then why do you love her?" "I'm just like you, Kate, I don't have any choice. We do have a choice about how we handle our loving her. Are we going to keep on fighting over her, competing to see who finally wins, or do we share her?" "Can you take us to the lake tomorrow night? She asked me to ask you. She said you can do it to her, but I can watch." "You might have the same problem I did. I don't want to watch you two anymore. I don't mind sharing, but I don't like watching. I thought I would too." "I don't even like the idea of you doing it to her, but I'm dying to watch it for some reason. Will you take us? I promise I won't gloat again if you do." "If I'm the one that's screwing her, why would you be the one gloating? Every time I catch you gloating, I'm just going to make Clara pass out again. Before too long, she will only want me to do it to her." "I won't, okay? Don't worry, I'm not stupid." Kate left then, and I started thinking about what we had been talking about. I knew that Kate would only be good until she figured out some way, or thought she'd figured out some way, to get Clara all to herself. The way things were heading, it wouldn't take too much longer for Clara to start playing us off, one against the other, just like she was doing with her parents. There were some situations that I could accept, but that wasn't one of them. We had avoided it thus far, but only because Clara hadn't been secure enough to start playing us that way. She might have felt her hold on Kate was strong enough, but she hadn't been sure of me until we had made love. My date with Miriam must have unsettled her too. I had to find a way to make the three of us all equals, with no one dependent on only one other person. I had a plan. It was pretty dangerous, and I was unsure whether it would work or not. I woke up at eight thirty. My mom was over at the dance studio, working her normal Saturday schedule of classes. I went out in the living room, and was moving to the kitchen to get some breakfast for myself. I said good morning to my father. He was reading the paper, and finishing what was probably his third or fourth cup of coffee for the morning. I knew he was waiting for two guys from work to come by to pick him up for a day of ice fishing. I could never understand why people wanted to go out on a frozen lake to go fishing in the middle of winter, but it was one of my father's favorite winter activities. He had never been successful in talking me into going with him, and today was certainly not going to be any exception. It looked cold outside, just from the frost collected on the kitchen window panes. I was halfway done with my cereal when a horn blew and my dad threw on his heavy coat and walked out the door. I stood by the window and watched him ride off, thinking that all three of them had to be nuts to think it was fun. I went to the phone and dialed the number at my mom's studio. It rang three times before my mother answered it. From her breathing, I guessed she had just begun her nine o'clock women's exercise class. "Mama, can Kate and I borrow your car tonight to go to the movies? It's too cold for us to walk there and back." "You can, Larry, but I won't be home much before six. You'll have to fix something to eat yourselves before you leave. There won't be time to go out to eat beforehand." "Thank you, mama. We'll see you tonight then." After I hung up the phone, I went into Kate's bedroom. My father was gone and my mother wasn't going to be leaving her class, not in the middle of it. I had, at the very least, one hour undisturbed. I woke Kate up. "You still want to see about cumming until you pass out?" When she smiled and nodded, I opened my robe, showing her that I was naked underneath. My dick was at full attention, and she stared at it without saying anything. I thought she looked nervous, but excited too. She pulled back her covers, and reached down to lift up her heavy flannel nightie, and pull her panties down and off. I felt the blood coursing through my face, and the pounding at my temples. Once I did this, there would be no turning back. I dropped down to my knees, and pulled Kate's legs over my shoulders. She was already starting to moan even before my tongue split her sweet little pussy lips. I knew what she tasted like, from that carrot. Soon, I was fully involved in what I was doing. I knew it was something I shouldn't be doing, something that would probably wind up ending badly for both Kate and myself. That didn't matter to me right then. All that mattered was that I had to show Kate that I could love her every bit as well as Clara could. She was responsive, right from the very beginning, probably because a tongue and a pair of lips weren't that big a departure from what she was used to. I managed to bring her right to the very edge, before I backed away and climbed up on her bed. She watched me with her lust glazed eyes as I rolled on the condom. I lifted myself up and got right back between her legs. There was a slight possibility, if I pulled back now, that we could avoid sliding into the abyss. I looked down at Kate's face, seeing only anticipation and desire in her eyes. Whatever chance there had been to turn around was irretrievably lost to me right then. I set myself, and pushed slowly inward, settling the head, and a little more, inside her. Kate let out a long soft whimper, but not one of pain. I pulled back slightly and then pressed forward again, watching as another two inches disappeared inside her. She was tight, but her natural copious lubrication made the first penetration possible. I felt her trying to relax beneath me. It was a long process, longer than with Karen the first time. It was difficult for me to believe that Kate could still be so tight. She wasn't big down there to begin with, but she wasn't shrinking away from the pressure I brought to bear. When I was well seated, I began my movement, but I could see that Kate was already having problems, and second thoughts. "Rub your clit, Kate, just pretend it's a large carrot. Close your eyes and try to stay relaxed. I had lifted up, balanced on both arms, withdrawn to the point where Kate's own fingers had lots of room in which to move and work. I started to establish a rhythm with her. When she started moving her hips beneath me, I knew we were going to be okay. After about ten minutes, Kate took her hand away and started thrusting up against me, pulling me down until our upper bodies made contact. We kissed then, our first passionate kiss, and, with this kiss, I felt truly connected to her sexually, for the first time since we'd started making love. The tempo of our rhythm started moving faster, becoming more and more insistent, until both of us were starting to strain to achieve an even closer union. We were definitely past any point where either of us could imagine wanting to turn back. I was sweating a lot, and panting as I desperately tried to bury that last inch of my cock shaft up inside her. She wanted it, was thrusting her hips up impatiently for it, but there was simply no place for it to go. I had heard Kate cumming many times before, times when neither of our parents were home, and she had let herself go with Clara. This time, I could feel it as well as hear it. She pulled me down closer, shuddering violently, thrashing around, her head moving from side to side, moaning loudly, and calling my name. I moved her legs forward, tilting her hips up and drove myself, time and time again, forward into her. Her pussy spasmed, squeezing me, tighter than Clara, almost like Trudie had been that first time. Unlike that time with Trudie, I refused to permit my dick to stay trapped. I moved inside her like a well oiled piston, and heard myself yelling as a sharp wave of intense pressure seemed to pass in front of my eyes. I felt my balls clenching and tightening, and, when they erupted, I could almost hear the boiling cum shooting up through my shaft and into the rubber. That's when I passed out for the only time I could remember. I don't know how long it was, but I felt Kate beneath me trying to shake me awake. "Larry, get off me, I can't breath. I mean it, you're too heavy, get off." I rolled off of her, and even that tiny effort took every single ounce of strength I still possessed. I looked over at my sister. She was smiling, but it wasn't the gloating smile that I half expected to see from her. "Was it okay for you, Kate?" "It was much better than okay, Larry. How long were we passed out? I never really thought you'd be able to make me do that. I just wanted to see what you did when you tried. We did it to each other. I'm a little sore down there right now. Your dick felt like a cucumber, but warmer and nicer. I like it, it's a good sore. You really made me like doing it Larry! I liked it with you a lot. I bet I really could learn to like doing it with boys, if you keep showing me how to do it. I think I'll always like girls better, but this was good too. I'm glad it was with you, Larry, because I love you too. Do you think it would be like that if we did it again?" "I don't know. I'm glad we did it too, no matter what happens. Now, we can both be like Clara. Each of us has two people that we can do it with, so nobody has to compete with anybody else We'll all have to be sharing now." Kate laughed. "What?" "I still don't want to share, but now, it's going to be twice as bad. Whenever you and Clara are doing it, I'll be jealous of both of you." We all got together that night over at the lake. We were all sitting in the back seat of my mother's car. Kate and I had deliberately not told Clara about what we'd done together that morning. We had washed all of Kate's sheets, and aired out her bedroom when we were through talking together. Kate was on one side of Clara, and I was on the other side, and we were both taking turns kissing and touching her. Clara seemed to really welcome the attention we both were giving her, although she kept asking us both to stop, so she could let me screw her while Kate watched. We managed to switch places so that Clara was lying down across the seat. Kate and I were both kneeling on the floorboards. We had moved the front seat as far forward as possible, so that we had a little bit of room to maneuver. As soon as Kate started licking Clara's pussy, she quit asking for me to screw her. I waited until Kate swung her legs over Clara's head so that they were both licking each other. I put my rubber on then, and got up off of my knees and reached for the top of the back seat rest. I looked at Clara's startled eyes as my dick slid past her nose and right up inside Kate. She never stopped licking Kate though, and neither did Kate stop licking her. The only drawback for me was that neither girl liked the taste of my pussy soaked rubbers. I fucked them both in the back seat that night, and all three of us really enjoyed ourselves. From that point forward, until the day that Clara left us both, to go to college, the three of us were almost inseparable. When Clara left, Kate and I fooled around only a few times more. It wasn't the same for either of us without Clara there. In 1966, I joined the Air Force, mostly to keep from being drafted into the Army. A month after I left for basic training, Kate found someone else, and they fell in love. After I finished my tech school, I got orders for California. I met a nice quiet girl out in California, she didn't seem to mind when I became withdrawn and introspective sometimes. We got along well enough, and one thing led to another, until we were married in 1968. Clara had already met someone by then and she had dropped out of college in order to get married. She had only kept in loose touch with Kate or me through her mother. We didn't see her again for many years. When my mother passed away in 1994, three years after my father's fatal heart attack, Kate and Trudie moved into our house. Yes, that Trudie. She never did become a professional dancer, instead opting to work at the studio, with Kate, my mom and aunt Agnes. In 1970, Agnes found a nice woman who knew just how to treat her. My mother was scandalized by the bruises that Agnes came to work with, but Agnes was always smiling. Her friend was killed in a car crash a year before my mother passed away, and that loss took all the heart out of Agnes. She still lives above the studio, but we seldom managed to get her to attend any family functions after my mother passed away. Back when my wife divorced me in 1983, claiming that she was tired of me going off to my workshop to play with my little projects, we sold the house and I moved back to Ohio, almost as soon as my divorce was final. We had never had any children, and when we went to the doctors to see why, I found out that my sperm count was so low that it would take a miracle for me to father children. There were plenty of jobs for a truck driver in Ohio, so I just went back to work driving, and moved back into my old room at home. When my dad died, it was only my mom and I living in that big house. I worked in the basement now, trying to figure out how to fix my dad's old projects. One day, I came up from the basement to find my mom on the kitchen floor, coughing up blood. It was a burst aneurysm, and they were too late to try to repair it because she had bled out before I could get her to the hospital. She was 76 years old, the same age my father had been when he died. Kate and Trudie didn't want to move into the house. I told them I could move out and get an apartment. They still refused. A month after we buried my mother, I called Kate and asked her to find someone to put the house on the market and sell it for us. The next day, Kate and Trudie came over, and started telling me all the changes they'd need to make if they did decide to move in. They also told me that I had to stay living there, or they weren't going to keep the house. I told them they could make any changes they wanted to, except, not to my room, and they also had to leave the area in the basement that I used to work on dad's projects alone. I told them that I'd even pay half the costs for whatever they wanted to do. I mostly tried to stay out of their way after that. They managed to either do the work themselves, or to get one or more of their friends to do it for them, always at a really good price. It took almost a year and a half to get everything just the way they wanted it. When it was done, they threw a big house warming party to celebrate. So there we were, forty one women, most of whom had absolutely no use for men, and who stared at me sullenly the more they drank that night. The one exception was Denise, Trudie's sister. I had just turned fifty, so she was fifty one. I knew from Trudie that Denise was twice married, and twice divorced, and that she had four children, including the one she decided to keep back in 1961. I had quite a bit to drink that night, mostly so that I wouldn't run away and hide from all those women and their baleful stares. At around nine thirty that night, I gave Denise a tour of my bedroom. We both thought we were going to do something, but the thought was a lot easier to accomplish than the deed, and we gave it up as a bad idea after fumbling around drunkenly, in the dark, for fifteen minutes or so. I knew I should have gotten at least a double bed for my bedroom, but I had just never gotten around to it. The next morning, I had to listen to Trudie and Kate howling in glee at my inept performance of the night before. Apparently Denise had given a really amusing account of our antics on her way out the door. All of this after she left me asleep on my bed. Somehow, during the time they were making fun of me, I had let slip that I was woefully out of practice, blaming that for my embarrassing failure with Denise. When they wormed out of me the information that I hadn't had sex with anyone since my divorce, more than thirteen years before, they both stopped kidding me and just stared at me with a look of disbelief instead. Trudie spoke to me first. "Why would you just quit like that? Haven't you ever missed it?" "I didn't plan to quit, it just hasn't been a big, burning desire of mine. I haven't exactly gone out of my way looking for opportunities, but that doesn't mean I've quit." "Gee, Larry, I had no idea. If I had of, I would have lent you Trudie. I didn't realize you had become a complete celibate. That isn't healthy you know? You do jack off still, right? I mean your plumbing still works, doesn't it?" "It did the last time I checked, which was last month in the shower. Don't worry, sis, I'll tell you if you're getting too personal," Trudie was sitting there, listening to what I said, but still looking over at Kate. "You're going to loan me to him? Just like that? I don't get any say in it?" "Oh, I'm so sorry Trud. Would it be all right if I tell my brother he can fuck you, just like he used to do when you were only twelve?" "Look who's talking. You fucked him a lot more than I ever did." I had never had the nerve to ask Kate if she'd told Trudie about our little three year interlude as a threesome with Clara. Now I didn't need to ask. The two of them sat there, just staring at me. "What?" It still made me nervous to be stared at. Kate just laughed. "Same old Larry. All right Trud. How about if we share him then? We've both shared him before. Are you ready to do both of us Larry?" "I think I'll pass, but thank you both for the kind offer anyway. It isn't that I don't appreciate your offer, but I still think I'm going to have to pass. I'm not the man I used to be, and the truth is, I haven't been since before I joined the Air Force. If I had been, I'd probably still be in California, and still married." "What do you mean, Larry? Is there some reason you've quit?" Kate was looking concerned, and I had just about exhausted this subject with her. "Let's just drop it, all right? It isn't any big thing, I just choose not to." "That's not how I remember it." Trudie snickered and Kate pulled her hands apart like my father talking about the fish that got away. I got up from the table, walking away from the two comediennes. Their laughter stung, but what could I do? Hell, thirteen years was a long time. My ex and I had probably done the deed no more than ten times in the last ten years of our marriage. I had simply lost all interest in sex. My time with Denise the night before had shown me that my interest was probably completely dead by now. About the only time my dick got hard was when I really had to piss bad. That didn't mean that I didn't jack off once in awhile. Probably two or three times a year. I might have escaped them that time, but that didn't mean the subject wouldn't be brought back up occasionally. I would usually just get up and go down to the basement when it did. I went to a doctor like Kate kept asking me to, but he couldn't find anything wrong with me. At least nothing relating to my lack of sexual desire. It was late August in 1998, my fifty second birthday in fact, when Kate sprung her big surprise on me. We were out to dinner at a big rib house out past the new interstate. It was just the three of us, Kate, Trudie and me. We'd been sitting there at the bar for forty five minutes, waiting to get a table. The place didn't seem that crowded to me, but every time Kate went up front to check on our table, they told her it would only be a few more minutes. Finally, she came back to tell us that our table was ready. We grabbed our drinks, while I paid off the bar tab, and then hurried into the dining area before they gave our table away to someone else. We were apparently too late, because when the guy took us to our table, there was someone already sitting there. It took me a minute before I recognized Clara. It wasn't that she had changed so much, it was that she now looked so much like her mother had, all those years before. She was grinning, Kate was grinning, and even Trudie was grinning. I was the only one who hadn't been in on the birthday surprise. "Hi, Clara, fancy meeting you here. What's it been, maybe thirty two years? You look just like your mother did the last time I saw her." "I told you that I would someday, Larry. You look like you, only a lot older." "Larry, Clara's moved back to town. She's divorced now, just like you." Kate was beaming, enjoying her matchmaking scheme. "I guess I'm supposed to say I'm sorry, Clara, but I didn't know your husband. Maybe I should feel happy for you?" "He was a good enough husband for a long time. Lately, our interests just seemed to grow apart. I liked staying at home, keeping a nice house, reading, tending to my garden, and entertaining a few of our friends with nice dinners occasionally. Frank wanted to fuck anything he could find that was under thirty." She was looking at me as she said that. Trudie and Kate laughed, but I didn't. "Then, I guess I'm happy for you. It sounds like you're well rid of him. Do you have children? I kind of lost touch." "Two, a boy and a girl, both grown and both married. One lives in Florida, the other in California. I visit each of them every winter. My son is a doctor, a Psychiatrist, Katrina, my daughter, stays at home and takes care of her three children." "Tell him your son's name Clarabelle." Kate was looking at me when she said this. Clara blushed, and spoke his name softly. "Lawrence." I had to smile at that. "Larry and Kate?" Clara smiled back at me, still embarrassed but possessed of poise for all of that. "Yes, I named them for my two oldest and dearest friends. I couldn't stand not having a Larry and a Kate in my life for very long."You never fathered any children, Larry?" "Nope. Found out that I'd wasted a whole passel of money buying all those rubbers all those years. My sperm count was so low they said it would be a miracle if any woman conceived from sleeping with me. Just as well, I never did like kids. Plus it helped when I got divorced, made it simpler." "Kate tells me there are currently no women in your life?" "Well, Trudie's sister Denise and I got back together for a short time, but it didn't work out as well as we had both hoped." This made Trudie and Kate crack up together. "Plus, Kate and Trudie say they're both ready to throw me a mercy fuck if I ever get too needy." "We never said we would, we just discussed the possibility with you." Kate's ears were red, she was blushing so hard. "Oh, I thought it was a firm offer. I guess you can't really depend on anyone when you get older. I still have Miriam's old phone number. I'm not sure it's still good after all this time. Plus I was planning on maybe calling Karen, and finding out if her parents are still alive. I figured if they aren't, then my promise not to see her anymore is all over and done with." "I wouldn't mind throwing my own name into the hat, Larry. I haven't passed out from a really great tingle for over thirty years." "I haven't made anyone pass out since then either. I never did make my ex wife pass out, but I did put her to sleep with my lovemaking on a few occasions. Somehow, it just didn't seem like the same thing to her. She actually counted that against me, said I was boring and selfish, and was under performing in my marital duties. I still have the divorce papers if you don't believe me." "You didn't comment on my offer, Larry. Was that deliberate, or are you still undecided?" "It's been a long time, Clara. I would rather not try and then fail. If I did, Kate and Trudie would never let me live it down." "Well, I won't belabor the point. I will admit that the prospect has a certain raw appeal to me. You never forget your first love." "No, and I'm sure that Kate feels the same way about you." I meant to make that come out funny, but it came as a little bitter, and with more hostility than I'd ever intended. I tried to apologize to her, but, that one comment effectively ruined our grand reunion. We stayed there, eating and talking, pretending that my remark hadn't put an unbearable pall on Kate's attempt to get us together. On the ride home, I had to listen to quite an earful from both Kate and Trudie. I told them I was sorry, and blamed them for getting me drunk, while we waited for my birthday surprise to show up. A week after my birthday, I heard Kate talking on the phone to Clara. She was crying, and asking her to please not try to tempt her anymore. Before she hung up the phone, I heard her begging Clara to not call her anymore. I went through Kate's phone book and found Clara's new phone number and address. I copied both of them down, and left my house. I was going to call her and apologize for my remark at the restaurant, and offer myself instead of Kate. I even tried to call several times, but each time I did, I lost my nerve. I drove by her house several times, but was too afraid of rejection to stop and go knock on her door. I waited another week, watching Kate closely, seeing the strain that Clara's invitations were putting on her. One night I came home and Kate and Trudie were locked in a tearful argument. It was only then that I summoned up the nerve to call her. I had already been thinking about her since the night of my birthday. I couldn't stop thinking about her, and I couldn't stop worrying about Kate. It felt like I was back being fifteen again, except now, I already knew the limitations of Clara's caring for me. Me satisfying Clara seemed well beyond my current capabilities. I called her finally, putting my fears aside long enough to take the plunge. When she answered, I hung up on her without speaking. I decided to wait, to see if things improved with Kate and Trudie. When Kate began sleeping in her old room again, I could hear her crying, so I knew I had to do something. Two weeks later, I called Clara again, and this time I didn't hang up. I told her that I had been thinking about her, and had just pulled her name out of my hat. She hung up on me. I went out and bought a nice box of candy and showed up on her doorstep. I rang the bell and waited. I saw her peeking out the window at me, but pretended that I hadn't. After fifteen minutes, I left the chocolates on her front porch, got in my car, and drove away. I came back in thirty minutes, and the chocolates had disappeared from where I'd left them. I drove to a pay phone and dialed her number again. "Hello?" "It's me. Did you enjoy the chocolates?" "I haven't opened them." "Do you want me to come over to help you open them?" "Is that all you think it's going to take for me to forgive your cruel remark?" "I didn't just buy those chocolates to get you to forgive me. I was hoping to get laid too. Those chocolates cost me over seven dollars, Clara." "You are lucky then that I have such a magnanimous spirit, and can forgive people very quickly. Kate has hinted that you might no longer be capable of love?" "You're lucky there too. I'm standing right here in this phone booth with a dick that's as hard as it's been since sometime in the early 70's. That's just from thinking about what I want to do with you. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to pressure you. If it's inconvenient for you right now, I can wait. In fact, I don't even mind standing here just talking to you like this, Right now, for the first time in a long while, I'm standing here with something that's worth playing with. I'm just afraid that, while I'm waiting to see what you might want to do, if I'm not careful, it might go off, and then I'll have to wait another bunch of years before it's ready again." "I've waited long enough already, Larry. In another few years, I'm not sure I could still appreciate what you have to offer. If you want to come over and try to love me again, I won't refuse you." I drove back over there, and this time the door was open even before I had climbed all the way up on her porch. We embraced as soon as her door was shut, kissing and running our hands over each other, taking inventory of what we hadn't felt for so many years. We wasted precious little time with the preliminaries, heading off to her bedroom soon after I got there. I hadn't been kidding about the serious wood I was sporting, and I was anxious to get it buried in Clara, wanting again to feel her wet and warm pussy wrapped around me before the opportunity slipped away from me. After looking at it, Clara seemed to feel the same way. We threw all our clothes off, both of us in a desperate hurry to satisfy our needs, and to find release in each others arms. At our ages, we weren't as limber as we had been when we were just kids. We had to be more careful of how we went about our coupling. The first thing I noticed was that I was a hell of a lot more appreciative of the changed amenities in her bedroom. Instead of a small single bed, she now had a king size bed, with a thick, plush mattress. We kissed and touched for awhile, and, at her urging, I rolled over on my back, my dick pointing somewhat up in the air. When I was younger, I'd have been embarrassed to have it not able to point straight up in the air. Now, I was just happy to see I wasn't going to have to play with it, or fantasize in order to get it interested in helping carry out my lewd intentions. Our lovemaking wasn't nearly as overpowering an experience as it had been for me in the past, but to me, it was almost like a small rebirth. I was inside a woman again, for the first time in many years. Not just any woman either, a woman that I had felt almost a lifetime of deep affection for. Clara was riding me, and I was just trying to manage to hold out long enough to see if I could get her to orgasm before I came. The whole time we were doing it, I was thinking about how comfortable her mattress was. "Does this bring back some good memories, Larry? It certainly does for me. I remember those times in your mother's car, the three of us doing all those wild and exciting things. Are you thinking of what we used to do?" "No, I was just thinking about how much better this bed is than the one in my room. This is the first time my back hasn't hurt in fifteen years, at least. I've got to get one of these mattresses, they're incredible." Clara stopped moving, she looked at me, waiting for me to let her in on the joke. I looked up at her, and even placed my hands around her waist, and tried to get her back to paying attention to what we had been doing. "That's what you were thinking about, your back?" "Clara, please don't get mad, all right? It's just that I'm not a kid anymore. Things like not having a back that's killing you have become very important at my age." "This was a becoming a really tender moment for me, Larry. How do you think it makes me feel to have you paying a lot more attention to the quality of my mattress than you are to my breasts?" I felt my dick beginning to recede from the lack of stimulation she now gave it. I reached up and squeezed both of them. Nature had been very generous to Clara, but gravity had caught up to her too. "These are very nice, but the mattress is really comfortable, and a lot firmer." I could see she was going to insist on talking rather than fucking. I had hoped to hold off on any serious discussions until after we were done. "Clara, I wish you'd quit being so serious about this. We're just two old friends fucking, trying to help each other out. I'm fond as hell of you, but our tender moment time has come and gone. Nothing is going to change that, or bring it back to life." I guess I wasn't surprised to see her pull herself off of my dick. I was more than a little bit disappointed though, because I just knew I would be able to cum if we had kept after it. I would have voted to finish, but it was her choice to make. I had loved her completely once, and, when she left us, I'd been depressed over that for a very long time afterwards. I couldn't claim that she would ever be entirely out of my system, but I'd stopped feeling like I had to have her in my life a whole lot of years before. Kate and I had since made lives for ourselves without her. Kate had been happy with Trudie for many good years. While I couldn't claim to be happy, I wasn't about to make Clara that important to me ever again. I wanted to have a relationship with Clara, if I possibly could, but not if it meant Kate and Trudie's unhappiness. "Get out, Larry. I can see now that I've made a mistake. You aren't the man I thought I might still love." I got up off of that bed, wishing I had the nerve to ask her the brand name of that mattress. I got dressed pretty quickly. There was a frost in the air, and not from the air outside either. "Kate isn't the woman you think you might still love either, so quit trying to invite her to go out with you without Trudie. The past is the past. Let's all of us just leave it like that." "You've changed, Larry. It's so sad for me to see it." She went over to her dresser and removed that old Little League picture of me, the one taken when I was twelve years old. "This is the boy I fell in love with. Where is that boy?" She threw the picture on her bed, and I scooped it up, and put it in my back pocket. "He's long gone Clara. No one has seen him since he turned fourteen. He's been gone so long that only you and me, and maybe Kate, even miss him anymore. I've still got my good memories, and many of the most pleasant are of the times I shared with you. We should try to remember the best part of what we were together. We don't need to try to recapture any of it. Time will pass, and you'll get over being mad at me. I can see the two of us comforting each other like old friends should. I just don't want you to try to make it into something it can never be. For any of that to happen though, you need to stay away from Kate. She doesn't need your kind of trouble. When I found out that you were trying to get her to meet with you, I knew I had to warn you off of her. If you had left her alone, today might have turned out to be more like what you had hoped for." "Why should I leave her alone? She's a grown woman, why not let her make the choice?" "She already did, and that's the main reason why she asked me to come here. She still loves you, but only as a friend, and she didn't want you to be all alone. You can't have Kate, because she loves Trudie. You won't be able to have me if you keep trying to come between her and her happiness." "We'll just have to see about that. I know that Kate wants to have it be like it once was. I won't stop trying to get her to be with me until she tells me to stop herself. She never will." I left her house then, pretty sure that Clara would eventually get her way with Kate. Why not, she always had before? I drove over to a bed place, and tried out all of their mattresses. Some were pretty good, but none of them felt as good as that one in Clara's bedroom. I had my picture sitting on the passenger side of my truck. It was still my favorite picture, but I wished that Clara had wanted to keep it. I had little use for such a reminder of my lost innocence. I'd give it to Kate. A picture like that should belong to someone who would appreciate it. I wasn't that person anymore. It was a week later that Kate didn't come home with Trudie from the dance studio. I saw the stunned and defeated look on Trudie's face. For thirty years, she and Kate had been a couple. It was one of the best relationships I'd ever seen. Kate spent three nights with Clara before she came and got her clothes and personal items to move into Clara's house. I took back my Little League picture before she had a chance to pack it. After Kate left, I came home to find Trudie packing up her things. "Where do you think you're going?" "I'm moving in with Denise." "Like hell you are. This is your home, Trudie, you're always welcome here." We got drunk together, and somehow wound up in Trudie's bed, the one that Kate had left. I don't know if it was the mattress, or if being with Trudie just sparked long forgotten memories in me. My dick remembered things that I had long given up hope of ever experiencing again. My tongue too was resurrected, and Trudie started responding to the touch of a man, for the first time in many years. It wasn't love, and we both had enough of our wits, in spite of the drinks, to realize that it wasn't. Whatever it was, it gave both of us comfort, and we passed the night in companionable closeness. After three months, when Kate hadn't returned, I asked Trudie if she would be comfortable marrying me. I told her that I was tired of being all alone. She refused, as I'd been almost sure she would. I understood that too. We're still living together, trying to be as comfortable as we can be, both of us waiting for something that neither of us really expects to happen. We talk about Kate, wondering if she ever thinks about us. I've often thought that they might call sometime, inviting me over to relive old times again. If they ever do, I hope I tell them no, if only for Trudie's sake. Sometimes though, I can't help imagining what it might turn out like if I did go over there. My mind doesn't like that idea very much, but my dick seems to have it's own ideas about what it wants. I can picture the three of us on that big mattress, but I'm not really expecting them to call me. ------- The End ------- Posted: 2006-03-14 Last Modified: 2006-05-06 / 11:17:12 pm ------- http://storiesonline.net/ -------